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diff --git a/6616.txt b/6616.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d93e21e --- /dev/null +++ b/6616.txt @@ -0,0 +1,24377 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of December Love, by Robert Hichens + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: December Love + +Author: Robert Hichens + +Release Date: April 22, 2006 [EBook #6616] +[Last updated: February 24, 2011] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DECEMBER LOVE *** + + + + +Produced by Dagny; John Bickers + + + + + +DECEMBER LOVE + +By Robert Hichens + + + + + +DECEMBER LOVE + +By Robert Hichens + + + + +PART ONE + + + +CHAPTER I + +Alick Craven, who was something in the Foreign Office, had been living +in London, except for an interval of military service during the +war, for several years, and had plenty of interesting friends and +acquaintances, when one autumn day, in a club, Francis Braybrooke, who +knew everybody, sat down beside him and began, as his way was, talking +of people. Braybrooke talked well and was an exceedingly agreeable man, +but he seldom discussed ideas. His main interest lay in the doings of +the human race, the "human animal," to use a favorite phrase of his, in +what the human race was "up to." People were his delight. He could not +live away from the centre of their activities. He was never tired +of meeting new faces, and would go to endless trouble to bring an +interesting personality within the circle of his acquaintance. Craven's +comparative indifference about society, his laziness in social matters, +was a perpetual cause of surprise to Braybrooke, who nevertheless was +always ready to do Craven a good turn, whether he wanted it done to him +or not. Indeed, Craven was indebted to his kind old friend for various +introductions which had led to pleasant times, and for these he was +quite grateful. Braybrooke was much older than most people, though he +seldom looked it, and decades older than Craven, and he had a genial way +of taking those younger than himself in charge, always with a view to +their social advancement. He was a very ancient hand at the social +game; he loved to play it; and he wanted as many as possible to join +in, provided, of course, that they were "suitable" for such a purpose. +Perhaps he slightly resembled "the world's governess," as a witty woman +had once called him. But he was really a capital fellow and a mine of +worldly wisdom. + +On the occasion in question, after chatting for about an hour, he +happened to mention Lady Sellingworth--"Adela Sellingworth," as he +called her. Craven did not know her, and said so in the simplest way. + +"I don't know Lady Sellingworth." + +Braybrooke sat for a moment in silence looking at Craven over his +carefully trimmed grey and brown beard. + +"How very strange!" he said at last. + +"Why is it strange?" + +"All these years in London and not know Adela Sellingworth!" + +"I know about her, of course. I know she was a famous beauty when King +Edward was Prince of Wales, and was tremendously prominent in society +after he came to the throne. But I have never seen her about since I +have been settled in London. To tell the honest truth, I thought Lady +Sellingworth was what is called a back number." + +"Adela Sellingworth a back number!" + +Braybrooke bristled gently and caught his beard-point with his +broad-fingered right hand. His small, observant hazel eyes rebuked +Craven mildly, and he slightly shook his head, covered with thick, +crinkly and carefully brushed hair. + +"Well--but," Craven protested. "But surely she long ago retired from the +fray! Isn't she over sixty?" + +"She is about sixty. But that is nothing nowadays." + +"No doubt she had a terrific career." + +"Terrific! What do you mean exactly by terrific?" + +"Why, that she was what used to be called a professional beauty, a +social ruler, immensely distinguished and smart and all that sort of +thing. But I understood that she suddenly gave it all up. I remember +someone telling me that she abdicated, and that those who knew her best +were most surprised about it." + +"A woman told you that, no doubt." + +"Yes, I think it was a woman." + +"Anything else?" + +"If I remember rightly, she said that Lady Sellingworth was the very +last woman one had expected to do such a thing, that she was one of the +old guard, whose motto is 'never give up,' that she went on expecting, +and tacitly demanding, the love and admiration which most men only give +with sincerity to young women long after she was no more young and had +begun to lose her looks. Perhaps it was all lies." + +"No, no. There is something in it." + +He looked meditative. + +"It certainly was a sudden business," he presently added. "I have often +thought so. It came about after her return from Paris some ten years +ago--that time when her jewels were stolen." + +"Were they?" said Craven. + +"Were they!" + +Braybrooke's tone just then really did rather suggest the world's +governess. + +"My dear fellow--yes, they were, to the tune of about fifty thousand +pounds." + +"What a dreadful business! Did she get them back?" + +"No. She never even tried to. But, of course, it came out eventually." + +"It seems to me that everything anyone wishes to hide does come out +eventually in London," said Craven, with perhaps rather youthful +cynicism. "But surely Lady Sellingworth must have wanted to get her +jewels back. What can have induced her to be silent about such a loss?" + +"It's a mystery. I have wondered why--often," said Braybrooke, gently +stroking his beard. + +He even slightly wrinkled his forehead, until he remembered that such +an indulgence is apt to lead to permanent lines, whereupon he abruptly +became as smooth as a baby, and added: + +"She must have had a tremendous reason. But I'm not aware that anyone +knows what it is unless--" he paused meditatively. "I have sometimes +suspected that perhaps Seymour Portman--" + +"Sir Seymour, the general?" + +"Yes. He knows her better than anyone else does. He cared for her when +she was a girl, through both her marriages, and cares for her just as +much still, I believe." + +"How were her jewels stolen?" Craven asked. + +Braybrooke had roused his interest. A woman who lost jewels worth fifty +thousand pounds, and made no effort to get them back, must surely be an +extraordinary creature. + +"They were stolen in Paris at the Gare du Nord out of a first-class +compartment reserved for Adela Sellingworth. That much came out through +her maid." + +"And nothing was done?" + +"I believe not. Adela Sellingworth is said to have behaved most +fatalistically when the story came out. She said the jewels were +gone long ago, and there was an end of it, and that she couldn't be +bothered." + +"Bothered!--about such a loss?" + +"And, what's more, she got rid of the maid." + +"Very odd!" + +"It was. Very odd! Her abdication also was very odd and abrupt. She +changed her way of living, gave up society, let her hair go white, +allowed her face to do whatever it chose, and, in fact, became very much +what she is now--the most charming _old_ woman in London." + +"Oh, is she charming?" + +"Is she charming!" + +Braybrooke raised his thick eyebrows and looked really pitiful. + +"I will see if I can take you there one day," he continued, after +a rebuking pause. "But don't count on it. She doesn't see very many +people. Still, I think she might like you. You have tastes in common. +She is interested in everything that is interesting--except, perhaps, in +love affairs. She doesn't seem to care about love affairs. And yet some +young girls are devoted to her." + +"Perhaps that is because she has abdicated." + +Braybrooke looked at Craven with rather sharp inquiry. + +"I only mean that I don't think, as a rule, young girls are very fond of +elderly women whose motto is 'never give up.'" Craven explained. + +"Ah?" + +Braybrooke was silent. Then, lighting a cigarette, he remarked: + +"Youth is very charming, but one must say that it is set free from +cruelty." + +"I agree with you. But what about the old guard?" Craven asked. "Is that +always so very kind?" + +Then he suddenly remembered that in London there is an "old guard" of +men, and that undoubtedly Braybrooke belonged to it; and, afraid that he +was blundering, he changed the conversation. + + + +CHAPTER II + +A fortnight later Craven received a note from his old friend saying that +Braybrooke had spoken about him to "Adela Sellingworth," and that she +would be glad to know him. Braybrooke was off to Paris to stay with the +Mariguys, but all Craven had to do was to leave a card at Number 18A, +Berkeley Square, and when this formality had been accomplished Lady +Sellingworth would no doubt write to him and suggest an hour for a +meeting. Craven thanked his friend, left a card at Number 18A, and a day +or two later received an invitation to go to tea with Lady Sellingworth +on the following Sunday. He stayed in London on purpose to do this, +although he had promised to go into the country from Saturday to Monday. +Braybrooke had succeeded in rousing keen interest in him. It was not +Craven's habit to be at the feet of old ladies. He much preferred +to them young or youngish women, unmarried or married. But Lady +Sellingworth "intrigued" him. She had been a reigning beauty. She had +"lived" as not many English women had lived. And then--the stolen jewels +and her extraordinary indifference about their loss! + +Decidedly he wanted to know her! + +Number 18A, Berkeley Square was a large town mansion, and on the green +front door there was a plate upon which was engraved in bold lettering, +"The Dowager Countess of Sellingworth." Craven looked at this plate and +at the big knocker above it as he rang the electric bell. Almost as soon +as he had pressed the button the big door was opened, and a very tall +footman in a pale pink livery appeared. Behind him stood a handsome, +middle-aged butler. + +A large square hall was before Craven, with a hooded chair and a big +fire burning on a wide hearth. Beyond was a fine staircase, which had a +balustrade of beautifully wrought ironwork with gold ornamentations. He +gave his hat, coat and stick to the footman--after taking his name, +the butler had moved away, and was pausing not far from the +staircase--Craven suddenly felt as if he stood in a London more solid, +more dignified, more peaceful, even more gentlemanlike, than the London +he was accustomed to. There seemed to be in this house a large calm, an +almost remote stillness, which put modern Bond Street, just around the +corner, at a very great distance. As he followed the butler, walking +softly, up the beautiful staircase, Craven was conscious of a flavour in +this mansion which was new to him, but which savoured of spacious times, +when the servant question was not acute, when decent people did not +move from house to house like gipsies changing camp, when flats were +unknown--spacious times and more elegant times than ours. + +The butler and Craven gained a large landing on which was displayed +a remarkable collection of oriental china. The butler opened a tall +mahogany door and bent his head again to receive the murmur of +Craven's name. It was announced, and Craven found himself in a great +drawing-room, at the far end of which, by a fire, were sitting three +people. They were Lady Sellingworth, the faithful Sir Seymour Portman, +and a beautiful girl, slim, fair, with an athletic figure, and vividly +intelligent, though rather sarcastic, violet eyes. This was Miss Beryl +Van Tuyn. (Craven did not know who she was, though he recognized at +once the erect figure, faithful, penetrating eyes and curly white +hair--cauliflower hair--of the general, whom he had often seen about +town and "in attendance" on royalty at functions.) + +Lady Sellingworth got up to receive him. As she did so he was almost +startled by her height. + +She was astonishingly tall, probably well over six feet, very slim, thin +even, with a small head covered with rather wavy white hair and set on a +long neck, sloping shoulders, long, aristocratic hands on which she wore +loose white gloves, narrow, delicate feet, very fine wrists and ankles. +Her head reminded Craven of the head of a deer. As for her face, once +marvellously beautiful according to the report of competent judges who +had seen all the beauties of their day, it was now quite frankly a ruin, +lined, fallen in here and there, haggard, drawn. Nevertheless, looking +upon it, one could guess that once upon a time it must have been a +face with a mobile, almost imperial, outline, perhaps almost insolently +striking, the arrogant countenance of a conqueror. When gazing at it one +gazed at the ruin, not of a cottage or of a gimcrack villa, but at the +ruins of a palace. Lady Sellingworth's eyes were very dark and still +magnificent, like two brilliant lamps in her head. A keen intelligence +gazed out of them. There was often something half sad, half mocking in +their expression. But Craven thought that they mocked at herself rather +than at others. She was very plainly dressed in black, and her dress was +very high at the neck. She wore no ornaments except a wedding ring, and +two sapphires in her ears, which were tiny and beautiful. + +Her greeting to Craven was very kind. He noticed at once that her +manner was as natural almost as a frank, manly schoolboy's, carelessly, +strikingly natural. There could never, he thought, have been a grain +of affectation in her. The idea even came into his head that she was +as natural as a tramp. Nevertheless the stamp of the great lady was +imprinted all over her. She had a voice that was low, very sensitive and +husky. + +Instantly she fascinated Craven. Instantly he did not care whether she +was old or young, in perfect preservation or a ruin. For she seemed to +him penetratingly human, simply and absolutely herself as God had made +her. And what a rare joy that was, to meet in London a woman of the +great world totally devoid of the smallest shred of make-believe! Craven +felt that if she appeared before her Maker she would be exactly as she +was when she said how do you do to him. + +She introduced him to Miss Van Tuyn and the general, made him sit next +to her, and gave him tea. + +Miss Van Tuyn began talking, evidently continuing a conversation +which had been checked for a moment by the arrival of Craven. She was +obviously intelligent and had enormous vitality. She was also obviously +preoccupied with her own beauty and with the effect it was having upon +her hearers. She not only listened to herself while she spoke; she +seemed also to be trying to visualize herself while she spoke. In her +imagination she was certainly watching herself, and noting with interest +and pleasure her young and ardent beauty, which seemed to Craven more +remarkable when she was speaking than when she was silent. She +must, Craven thought, often have stood before a mirror and carefully +"memorized" herself in all her variety and detail. As he sat there +listening he could not help comparing her exquisite bloom of youth with +the ravages of time so apparent in Lady Sellingworth, and being struck +by the inexorable cruelty of life. Yet there was something which +persisted and over which time had no empire--charm. On that afternoon +the charm of Lady Sellingworth's quiet attention to her girl visitor +seemed to Craven even greater than the charm of that girl visitor's +vivid vitality. + +Sir Seymour, who had the self-contained and rather detached manner of +the old courtier, mingled with the straight-forward self-possession of +the old soldier thoroughly accustomed to dealing with men in difficult +moments, threw in a word or two occasionally. Although a grave, even a +rather sad-looking man, he was evidently entertained by Miss Van Tuyn's +volubility and almost passionate, yet not vulgar, egoism. Probably he +thought such a lovely girl had a right to admire herself. She talked of +herself in modern Paris with the greatest enthusiasm, cleverly grouping +Paris, its gardens, its monuments, its pictures, its brilliant men and +women as a decor around the one central figure--Miss Beryl Van Tuyn. + +"Why do you never come to Paris, dearest?" she presently said to Lady +Sellingworth. "You used to know it so very well, didn't you?" + +"Oh, yes; I had an apartment in Paris for years. But that was almost +before you were born," said the husky, sympathetic voice of her hostess. + +Craven glanced at her. She was smiling. + +"Surely you loved Paris, didn't you?" said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"Very much, and understood it very well." + +"Oh--that! She understands everything, doesn't she, Sir Seymour?" + +"Perhaps we ought to except mathematics and military tactics," he +replied, with a glance at Lady Sellingworth half humorous, half +affectionate. "But certainly everything connected with the art of living +is her possession." + +"And--the art of dying?" Lady Sellingworth said, with a lightly mocking +sound in her voice. + +Miss Van Tuyn opened her violet eyes very wide. + +"But is there an art of dying? Living--yes; for that is being and is +continuous. But dying is ceasing." + +"And there is an art of ceasing, Beryl. Some day you may know that." + +"Well, but even very old people are always planning for the future on +earth. No one expects to cease. Isn't it so, Mr. Craven?" + +She turned to him, and he agreed with her and instanced a certain old +duchess who, at the age of eighty, was preparing for a tour round +the world when influenza stepped in and carried her off, to the great +vexation of Thomas Cook and Son. + +"We must remember that that duchess was an American," observed Sir +Seymour. + +"You mean that we Americans are more determined not to cease than you +English?" she asked. "That we are very persistent?" + +"Don't you think so?" + +"Perhaps we are." + +She turned and laid a hand gently, almost caressingly, on Lady +Sellingworth's. + +"I shall persist until I get you over to Paris," she said. "I do want +you to see my apartment, and my bronzes--particularly my bronzes. When +were you last in Paris?" + +"Passing through or staying--do you mean?" + +"Staying." + +Lady Sellingworth was silent for an instant, and Craven saw the half +sad, half mocking expression in her eyes. + +"I haven't stayed in Paris for ten years," she said. + +She glanced at Sir Seymour, who slightly bent his curly head as if in +assent. + +"It's almost incredible, isn't it, Mr. Craven?" said Miss Van Tuyn. "So +unlike the man who expressed a wish to be buried in Paris." + +Craven remembered at that moment Braybrooke's remark in the club that +Lady Sellingworth's jewelry were stolen in Paris at the Gare du Nord ten +years ago. Did Miss Van Tuyn know about that? He wondered as he murmured +something non-committal. + +Miss Van Tuyn now tried to extract a word of honour promise from Lady +Sellingworth to visit her in Paris, where, it seemed, she lived very +independently with a _dame de compagnie_, who was always in one room +with a cold reading the novels of Paul Bourget. ("Bourget keeps on +writing for _her_!" the gay girl said, not without malice.) + +But Lady Sellingworth evaded her gently. + +"I'm too lazy for Paris now," she said. "I no longer care for moving +about. This old town house of mine has become to me like my shell. I'm +lazy, Beryl; I'm lazy. You don't know what that is; nor do you, Mr. +Craven. Even you, Seymour, you don't know. For you are a man of action, +and at Court there is always movement. But I, my friends--" She gave +Craven a deliciously kind yet impersonal smile. "I am a contemplative. +There is nothing oriental about me, but I am just a quiet British +contemplative, untouched by the unrest of your age." + +"But it's _your_ age, too!" cried Miss Van Tuyn. + +"No, dear. I was an Edwardian." + +"I wish I had known you then!" said Miss Van Tuyn impulsively. + +"You would not have known _me_ then," returned Lady Sellingworth, with +the slightest possible stress on the penultimate word. + +Then she changed the conversation. Craven felt that she was not fond of +talking about herself. + + + +CHAPTER III + +That day Craven walked away from Lady Sellingworth's house with Miss Van +Tuyn, leaving Sir Seymour Portman behind him. + +Miss Van Tuyn was staying with a friend at the Hyde Park Hotel, and, as +she said she wanted some air, Craven offered to accompany her there on +foot. + +"Do!" she said in her frank and very conscious way. "I'm afraid of +London on a Sunday." + +"Afraid!" + +"As I'm afraid of a heavy, dull person with a morose expression. Please +don't be angry." + +Craven smiled. + +"I know! Paris is much lighter in hand than London on a Sunday." + +"Isn't it? But there are people in London! Isn't _she_ a precious +person?" + +"Lady Sellingworth?" + +"Yes. You have marvellous old women in London who do all that we young +people do, and who look astonishing. They might almost be somewhere in +the thirties when one knows they are really in the sixties. They play +games, ride, can still dance, have perfect digestions, sit up till two +in the morning and are out shopping in Bond Street as fresh as paint +by eleven, having already written dozens of acceptances to invitations, +arranged dinners, theatre parties, heaven knows what! Made of cast iron, +they seem. They even manage somehow to be fairly attractive to young +men. They are living marvels, and I take off my toque to them. But Lady +Sellingworth, quite old, ravaged, devastated by time one might say, who +goes nowhere and who doesn't even play bridge--she beats them all. I +love her. I love her wrinkled distinction, her husky voice, her careless +walk. She walks anyhow, like a woman alone on a country road. She looks +even older than she is. But what does it matter? If I were a man--" + +"Would you fall in love with her?" Craven interposed. + +"Oh, no!" + +She shot a blue glance at him. + +"But I should love her--if only she would let me. But she wouldn't. I +feel that." + +"I never saw her till to-day. She charmed me." + +"Of course. But she didn't try to." + +"Probably not." + +"That's it! She doesn't try, and that's partly why she succeeds, being +as God has made her. Do you know that some people hate her?" + +"Impossible!" + +"They do." + +"Who do?" + +"The young-old women of her time, the young-old Edwardian women. She +dates them. She shows them up by looking as she does. She is their +contemporary, and she has the impertinence to be old. And they can't +forgive her for it." + +"I understand," said Craven. "She has betrayed the 'old guard.' She has +disobeyed the command inscribed on their banner. She has given up." + +"Yes. They will never pardon her, never!" + +"I wonder what made her do it?" said Craven. + +And he proceeded to touch on Miss Van Tuyn's desire to get Lady +Sellingworth to Paris. He soon found out that she did not know about the +jewels episode. She showed curiosity, and he told her what he knew. She +seemed deeply interested. + +"I was sure there was a mystery in her life," she said. "I have always +felt it. Ten years ago! And since then she has never stayed in Paris!" + +"And since then--from that moment--she has betrayed the 'old guard.'" + +"How? I don't understand." + +Craven explained. Miss Van Tuyn listened with an intensity of interest +which flattered him. He began to think her quite lovely, and she saw the +pretty thought in his mind. + +When he had finished she said: + +"No attempt to recover the lost jewels, the desertion of Paris, the +sudden change into old age! What do you make of it?" + +"I can make nothing. Unless the chagrin she felt made her throw up +everything in a fit of anger. And then, of course, once the thing was +done she couldn't go back." + +"You mean--go back to the Edwardian youthfulness she had abandoned?" + +"Yes. One may refuse to grow old, but once one has become definitely, +ruthlessly old, it's practically impossible to jump back to a pretence +of the thirties." + +"Of course. It would frighten people. But--it wasn't that." + +"No?" + +"No. For if she had felt the loss of her jewels so much as you suggest, +she would have made every effort to recover them." + +"I suppose she would." + +"The heart of the mystery lies in her not wishing to try to get the +jewels back. That, to me, is inexplicable. Because we women love jewels. +And no woman carries about jewels worth fifty thousand pounds without +caring very much for them." + +"Just what I have thought," said Craven. + +After a short silence he added: + +"Could Lady Sellingworth possibly have known who had stolen the jewels, +do you think?" + +"What! And refrained from denouncing the thief!" + +"She might have had a reason." + +Miss Van Tuyn's keen though still girlish eyes looked sharply into +Craven's for an instant. + +"I believe you men, you modern men are very apt to think terrible things +about women," she said. + +Craven warmly defended himself against this abrupt accusation. + +"Well, but what did you mean?" persisted Miss Van Tuyn. "Now, go against +your sex and be truthful for once to a woman." + +"I really don't know exactly what I meant," said Craven. "But I suppose +it's possible to conceive of circumstances in which a woman might know +the identity of a thief and yet not wish to prosecute." + +"Very well. I'll let you alone," she rejoined. "But this mystery makes +Lady Sellingworth more fascinating to me than ever. I'm not particularly +curious about other people. I'm too busy about myself for that. But +I would give a great deal to know a little more of her truth. Do you +remember her remark when I said 'I wish I had known you then'?" + +"Yes. She said, 'You would not have known _me_ then.'" + +"There have been two Adela Sellingworths. And I only know one. I do want +to know the other. But I am almost sure I never shall. And yet she's +fond of me. I know that. She likes my being devoted to her. I feel she's +a book of wisdom, and I have only read a few pages." + +She walked on quickly with her light, athletic step. Just as they were +passing Hyde Park Corner she said: + +"I think I shall go to one of the 'old guard.'" + +"Why?" asked Craven. + +"You ask questions to which you know the answers," she retorted. + +And then they talked of other things. + +When they reached the hotel and Craven was about to say good-bye, Miss +Van Tuyn said to him: + +"Are you coming to see me one day?" + +Her expression suggested that she was asking a question to which she +knew the answer, in this following the example just given to her by +Craven. + +"I want to," he said. + +"Then do give me your card." + +He gave it to her. + +"We both want to know her secret," she said, as she put it into her +card-case. "Our curiosity about that dear, delightful woman is a link +between us." + +Craven looked into her animated eyes, which were strongly searching him +for admiration. He took her hand and held it for a moment. + +"I don't think I want to know Lady Sellingworth's secret if she doesn't +wish me to know it," he said. + +"Now--is that true?" + +"Yes," he said, with a genuine earnestness which seemed to amuse her. +"Really, really it is true." + +She sent him a slightly mocking glance. + +"Well, I am less delicate. I want to know it, whether she wishes me to +or not. And yet I am more devoted to her than you are. I have known her +for quite a long time." + +"One can learn devotion very quickly," he said, pressing her hand before +he let it go. + +"In an afternoon?" + +"Yes, in an afternoon." + +"Happy Lady Sellingworth!" she said. + +Then she turned to go into the hotel. Just before she passed through the +swing door she looked round at Craven. The movement of her young head +was delicious. + +"After all, in spite of the charm that won't die," he thought, "there's +nothing like youth for calling you." + +He thought Lady Sellingworth really more charming than Miss Van Tuyn, +but he knew that the feeling of her hand in his would not have thrilled +something in him, a very intimate part of himself, as he had just been +thrilled. + +He felt almost angry with himself as he walked away, and he muttered +under his breath: + +"Damn the animal in me!" + + + +CHAPTER IV + +Not many days later Craven received a note from Miss Van Tuyn asking him +to come to see her at a certain hour on a certain day. He went and found +her alone in a private sitting-room overlooking the Park. For the first +time he saw her without a hat. With her beautiful corn-coloured hair +uncovered she looked, he thought, more lovely than when he had seen her +at Lady Sellingworth's. She noted that thought at once, caught it on the +wing through his mind, as it were, and caged it comfortably in hers. + +"I have seen the 'old guard,'" she said, after she had let him hold and +press her hand for two or three seconds. + +"What, the whole regiment?" said Craven. + +She sat down on a sofa by a basket of roses. He sat down near her. + +"No; only two or three of the leaders." + +"Do I know them?" + +"Probably. Mrs. Ackroyde?" + +"I know her." + +"Lady Archie Brook?" + +"Her, too." + +"I've also seen Lady Wrackley." + +"I have met Lady Wrackley, but I can hardly say I know her. Still, she +shows her teeth at me when I come into a room where she is." + +"They are wonderful teeth, aren't they?" + +"Astonishing!" + +"And they are her own--not by purchase." + +"Are you sure she doesn't owe for them?" + +"Positive; except, of course, to her Creator. Isn't it wonderful to +think that those three women are contemporaries of Lady Sellingworth?" + +"Indeed it is! But surely you didn't let them know that you knew they +were? Or shall I say know they are?" + +She smiled, showing perfect teeth, and shook her corn-coloured head. + +"You see, I'm so young and live in Paris! And then I'm American. They +have no idea how much I know. I just let them suppose that I only knew +they were old enough to remember Lady Sellingworth when she was still a +reigning beauty. I implied that _they_ were buds then." + +"And they accepted the implication?" + +"Oh, they are women of the world! They just swallowed it very quietly, +as a well-bred person swallows a small easy-going bonbon." + +Craven could not help laughing. As he did so he saw in Miss Van Tuyn's +eyes the thought: + +"You think me witty, and you're not far out." + +"And did you glean any knowledge of Lady Sellingworth?" he asked. + +"Oh, yes; quite a good deal. Mrs. Ackroyde showed me a photograph of her +as she was about eleven years ago." + +"A year before the plunge!" + +"Yes. She looked very handsome in the photograph. Of course, it was +tremendously touched up. Still, it gave me a real idea of what she must +once have been. But, oh! how she has changed!" + +"Naturally!" + +"I mean in expression. In the photograph she looks vain, imperious. Do +you know how a woman looks who is always on the watch for new lovers?" + +"Well--yes, I think perhaps I do." + +"Lady Sellingworth in the photograph has that on the pounce expression." + +"That's rather awful, isn't it?" + +"Yes; because, of course, one can see she isn't really at all young. +It's only a _fausse jeunesse_ after all, but still very effective. The +gap between the woman of the photograph and the woman of 18A Berkeley +Square is as the gulf between Dives and Lazarus. I shouldn't have loved +her then. But perhaps--perhaps a man might have thought he did. I mean +in the real way of a man--perhaps." + +Craven did not inquire what Miss Van Tuyn meant exactly by that. +Instead, he asked: + +"And did these ladies of the 'old guard' speak kindly of the +white-haired traitress?" + +"They were careful. But I gathered that Lady Sellingworth had been for +years and years one of those who go on their way chanting, 'Let us eat, +drink and be merry, for to-morrow we die.' I gathered, too, that her +efforts were chiefly concentrated on translating into appropriate action +the third 'let us.' But that no doubt was for the sake of her figure +and face. Lady Archie said that the motto of Lady Sellingworth's life +at that period was 'after me the deluge,' and that she had so dinned it +into the ears of her friends that when she let her hair grow white they +all instinctively put up umbrellas." + +"And yet the deluge never came." + +"It never does. I could almost wish it would." + +"Now?" + +"No; after me." + +He looked deep into her eyes, and as he did so she seemed deliberately +to make them more profound so that he might not touch bottom. + +"It's difficult to think of an after you," he said. + +"But there will be, I suppose, some day when the Prince of Wales wears +a grey beard and goes abroad in the winter to escape bronchial troubles. +Oh, dear! What a brute Time is!" + +She tried to look pathetic, and succeeded better than Craven had +expected. + +"I shall put up my _en tout cas_ then," said Craven very seriously. + +Still looking pathetic, she allowed her eyes to stray to a neighbouring +mirror, waited for a moment, then smiled. + +"Time's a brute, but there's still plenty of him for me," she said. "And +for you, too." + +"He isn't half so unpleasant to men as to women," said Craven. "He makes +a very unfair distinction between the sexes." + +"Naturally--because he's a man." + +"What did Lady Wrackley say?" asked Craven, returning to their subject. + +"Why do you ask specially what she said?" + +"Because she has a reputation, a bad one, for speaking her mind." + +"She certainly was the least guarded of the 'old guard.' But she said +she loved Lady Sellingworth now, because she was so changed." + +"Physically, I suppose." + +"She didn't say that. She said morally." + +"That wasn't stupid of her." + +"Just what I thought. She said a moral revolution had taken place in +Lady Sellingworth after the jewels were stolen." + +"That sounds almost too tumultuous to be comfortable." + +"Like 'A Tale of Two Cities' happening in one's interior." + +"And what did she attribute such a phenomenon to?" + +"Well, she took almost a clerical view of the matter." + +"How very unexpected!" + +"She said she believed that Adela--she called her Adela--that Adela took +the loss of her jewels as a punishment for her sins." + +"Do you mean to say she used the word sins?" + +"No; she said 'many lapses.' But that's what she meant." + +"Lapses from what?" + +"She didn't exactly say. But I'm afraid she meant from a strict moral +code." + +"Oh, Lord!" said Craven, thinking of Lady Wrackley's smile. + +"Why do you say that?" + +"Please--never mind! So Lady Wrackley thinks that Lady Sellingworth +considered the loss of her jewels such a fitting punishment for her many +lapses from a strict moral code that she never tried to get them back?" + +"Apparently. She said that Addie--she called her Addie then--that Addie +bowed her head." + +"Not beneath the rod! Don't tell me she used the word rod!" + +"But she did!" + +"Priceless!" + +"Wasn't it? But women are like that when they belong to the 'old guard.' +Do you think she can be right?" + +"If it is so, Lady Sellingworth must be a very unusual sort of woman." + +"She is--now. For she really did give up all in a moment. And she has +never repented of what she did, as far as anyone knows. I think--" + +She paused, looking thoughtful at the mirror. + +"Yes?" said Craven gently. + +"I think it's rather fine to plunge into old age like that. You go on +being young and beautiful till everyone marvels, and then one day--or +night, perhaps--you look in the glass and you see the wrinkles as they +are--" + +"Does any woman ever do that?" + +"_She_ must have! And you say to yourself, '_C'est fini!_' and you throw +up the sponge. No more struggles for you! From one day to another you +become an old woman. I think I shall do as Lady Sellingworth has done." + +"When?" + +"When I'm--perhaps at fifty, yes, at fifty. No man really cares for a +woman, as a woman wants him to care, after fifty." + +"I wonder," said Craven. + +She sent him a sharp, questioning glance. + +"Did you ever wonder before you went to Berkeley Square?" + +"Perhaps not." + +A slight shadow seemed to pass over Miss Van Tuyn's face. + +"I believe there was a famous French actress who was loved after she was +seventy," said Craven. + +"Then the man must have been a freak." + +"Lots of us are freaks." + +"I don't think you are," she said provocatively. + +"Why not?" + +"I have my little private reasons," she murmured. + +At that moment Craven was conscious of a silly desire to take her in his +arms, bundle of vanities though he knew her to be. He hated himself for +being so ordinary. But there it was! + +He looked at her eyebrows. They were dark and beautifully shaped and +made an almost unnerving contrast with her corn-coloured hair. + +"I know what you are thinking," she said. + +"Impossible!" + +"You are thinking that I darken them. But I don't." + +And then Craven gave up and became frankly foolish. + + + +CHAPTER V + +Though ordinary enough in her youthful egoism, and entirely _du jour_ in +her flagrantly shown vanity, Miss Van Tuyn, as Craven was to find out, +was really something of an original. Her independence was abnormal and +was mental as well as physical. She lived a life of her own, and her +brain was not purely imitative. She not only acted often originally, +but thought for herself. She was not merely a very pretty girl. She was +somebody. And somehow she had trained people to accept her daring way of +life. In Paris she did exactly what she chose, and quite openly. There +was no secrecy in her methods. In London she pursued the same housetop +course. She seldom troubled about a chaperon, and would calmly give a +lunch at the Carlton without one if she wanted to. Indeed, she had been +seen there more than once, making one of a party of six, five of whom +were men. She did not care for women as a sex, and said so in the +plainest language, denouncing their mentality as still afflicted by a +narrowness that smacked of the harem. But for certain women she had a +cult, and among these women Lady Sellingworth held a prominent, perhaps +the most prominent, place. + +Three days after his visit to the Hyde Park Hotel Craven, having no +dinner invitation and feeling disinclined for the well-known formality +of the club where he often dined, resolved to yield to a faint +inclination towards a very mild Bohemianism which sometimes beset him, +and made his way in a day suit to Soho seeking a restaurant. He walked +first down Greek Street, then turned into Frith Street. There he peeped +into two or three restaurants without making up his mind to sample their +cooking, and presently was attracted by a sound of guitars giving forth +with almost Neapolitan fervour the well-known tune, "O Sole Mio!" The +music issued from an unpretentious building over the door of which was +inscribed, "Ristorante Bella Napoli." + +It was a cold, dark evening, and Craven was feeling for the moment +rather depressed and lonely. The music drew his thoughts to dear Italy, +to sunshine, a great blue bay, brown, half-naked fishermen pulling in +nets from the deep with careless and Pagan gestures, to the thoughtless, +delicious life only possible in the golden heart of the South. He did +not know the restaurant, but he hesitated no longer. Never mind what the +cooking was like; he would eat to the sound of those guitars which he +knew were being thrummed by Italian fingers. He pushed the swing door +and at once found himself in a room which seemed redolent of the country +which everyone loves. + +It was a narrow room, with a sanded floor and the usual small tables. +The walls were painted with volcanic pictures in which Vesuvius played a +principal part. Vesuvius erupted on one wall, slept in the moonlight on +another, at the end of the room was decked out in all the glories of an +extremely Neapolitan sunset. Upon the ceiling was Capri, stretching +out from an azure sea. For the moment the guitars had ceased, but their +players, swarthy, velvet eyed, and unmistakable children of Italy, sat +at ease, their instruments still held in brown hands ready for further +plucking of the sonorous strings. And the room was alive with the uproar +of Italian voices talking their native language, with the large and +unselfconscious gestures of Italian hands, with the movement of Italian +heads, with the flash and sparkle of animated Italian eyes. Chianti was +being drunk; macaroni, minestra, gnocchi, ravioli, abione were being +eaten; here and there Toscanas were being smoked. Italy was in the warm +air, and in an instant from Craven's consciousness London was blotted +out. + +For a moment he stood just inside the door feeling almost confused. +Opposite to him was the padrona, a large and lustrous woman with sleepy, +ox-like eyes, sitting behind a sort of counter. Italian girls, with +coal-black hair, slipped deftly to and fro among the tables serving +the customers. The musicians stared at Craven with the fixed, unwinking +definiteness which the traveller from England begins to meet with soon +after he passes Lugano. Where was a table for an Englishman? + +"Ecco, signorino!" + +An Italian girl smiled and beckoned with a sort of intimate liveliness +and understanding that quite warmed Craven's heart. There was a table +free, just one, under Vesuvius erupting. Craven took it, quickly ordered +all the Italian dishes he could think of and a bottle of Chianti Rosso, +and then looked about the long, little room. He looked--to see Italian +faces, and he saw many; but suddenly, instead of merely looking, he +stared. His eyelids quivered; even his lips parted. Was it possible? +Yes, it was! At a table tucked into a corner by the window were sitting +Beryl Van Tuyn and actually--Santa Lucia!--Lady Sellingworth! And they +were both eating--what was it? Craven stretched his neck--they were both +eating Risotto alla Milanese! + +At this moment the guitars struck up that most Neapolitan of songs, the +"Canzona di Mergellina," the smiling Italian girl popped a heaped-up +plate of macaroni blushing gently with tomato sauce before Craven, and +placed a straw bottle of ruby hued Chianti by the bit of bread at his +left hand, and Miss Van Tuyn turned her corn-coloured head to have a +good look at the room and, incidentally, to allow the room to have a +good look at her. + +The violet eyes, full of conscious assurance, travelled from table to +table and arrived at Craven and his macaroni. She looked surprised, +then sent him a brilliant smile, turned quickly and spoke to Lady +Sellingworth. The latter then also looked towards Craven, smiled kindly, +and bowed with the careless, haphazard grace which seemed peculiar to +her. + +Craven hesitated for an instant, then got up and threading his way +among Italians, went to greet the two ladies. It struck him that Lady +Sellingworth looked marvellously at home with her feet on the sanded +floor. Could she ever be not at home anywhere? He spoke a few words, +then returned to his table with Miss Van Tuyn's parting sentence in his +ears; "When you have dined come and smoke your Toscana with us." + +As he ate his excellently cooked meal he felt pleasantly warmed and even +the least bit excited. This was a wholly unexpected encounter. To meet +the old age and the radiant youth which at the moment interested him +more than any other old age, any other radiant youth, in London, in +these surroundings, to watch them with the music of guitars in his +ears and the taste of ravioli on his lips, silently to drink to them in +authentic Chianti--all this gave a savour to his evening which he had +certainly not anticipated. When now and then his eyes sought the table +tucked into the corner by the window, he saw his two acquaintances +plunged deep in conversation. Presently Miss Van Tuyn lit a cigarette, +which she smoked in the short interval between two courses. She moved, +and sat in such a way that her profile was presented to the room as +clearly and definitely as a profile stamped on a finely cut coin. +Certainly she was marvellously good-looking. She had not only the beauty +of colouring; she had also the more distinguished and lasting beauty of +line. + +An Italian voice near to Craven remarked loudly, with a sort of coarse +sentimentality: + +"_Che bella ragassa!_" + +Another Italian voice replied: + +"_Ha ragione di venire qui con quella povera vecchia! Com'e brutta la +vecchiezza!_" + +For a moment Craven felt hot with a sort of intimate anger; but the +guitars began "Santa Lucia," and took him away again to Naples. And what +is the use of being angry with the Italian point of view? As well be +angry with the Mediterranean for being a tideless sea. But he glanced +at the profile and remembered the words, and could not help wondering +whether Miss Van Tuyn's cult for Lady Sellingworth had its foundations +in self-love rather than in attraction to her whom Braybrooke had called +"the most charming _old_ woman in London." + +Presently Miss Van Tuyn, turning three-quarters face, sent him a +"coffee-look," and he saw that a coffee apparatus of the hour-glass type +was being placed on the table by the window. He nodded, but held up a +clean spoon to indicate that his zabaione had yet to be swallowed. +She smiled, understanding, and spoke again to Lady Sellingworth. A few +minutes later Craven left his table and joined them, taking his Toscana +with him. + +They were charmingly prepared for his advent. Three cups were on the +table, and coffee for three was mounting in the hour glass. The two +friends were smoking cigarettes. + +As he prepared to sit down on the chair placed ready for him with his +back to the window, Miss Van Tuyn said: + +"One minute! Please give the musicians this!" + +She put five shillings into his hand. + +"And ask them to play the Sicilian Pastorale, and 'A Mezzanotte,' and +the Barcarola di Sorrento, and _not_ to play 'Funiculi, Funicula.' Do +you mind?" + +"Of course not! But do let me--" + +"No, no! This is my little treat to Lady Sellingworth. She has never +been here before." + +Craven went round to the musicians and carried out his directions. As he +did so he saw adoring looks of comprehension come into their dark +faces, and, turning, he caught a wonderful smile that was meant for +them flickering on the soft lips of Miss Van Tuyn. That smile was as +provocative, as definitely full of the siren quality, as if it had +dawned for the only lover, instead of for three humble Italians, +"hairdressers in the daytime," as Miss Van Tuyn explained to Craven +while she poured out his coffee. + +"I often come here," she added. "You're surprised, I can see." + +"I must say I am," said Craven. "I thought your beat lay rather in the +direction of the Carlton, the Ritz, and Claridge's." + +"You see how little he knows me!" she said, turning to Lady +Sellingworth. + +"Beryl does not always tread beaten paths," said Lady Sellingworth to +Craven. + +"I hate beaten paths. One meets all the dull people on them, the people +who hope they are walking where everyone walks. Beaten paths are like +the front at Brighton on a Sunday morning. What do you say to our +coffee, dearest?" + +"It is the best I have drunk for a long while outside my own house," +Lady Sellingworth answered. + +Then she turned to Craven. + +"Are you really going to smoke a Toscana?" + +"If you really don't mind? It isn't a habit with me, but I assure you I +know how to do it quite adequately." + +"He's an artist," said Miss Van Tuyn. "He knows it's the only cigar that +really goes with Vesuvius. Do light up!" + +"I'm thankful I came here to-night," he said. "I felt very dull and +terrifically English, so I turned to Soho as an antidote. The guitars +lured me in here. I was at the Embassy in Rome for a year. In the summer +we lived at the Villa Rosebery, near Naples. Ever since that time I've +had an almost childish love of guitars." + +Miss Van Tuyn held up a hand and formed "Sh!" with her rosy lips. + +"It's the Barcarola di Sorrento!" she whispered. + +A silence fell in the narrow room. The Italian voices were hushed. The +padrona dreamed behind her counter with her large arms laid upon it, +like an Italian woman spread out on her balcony for an afternoon's +watching of the street below her window. And Craven let himself go +to the music, as so many English people only let themselves go when +something Italian is calling them. On his left Miss Van Tuyn, with one +arm leaning on the table, listened intently, but not so intently that +she forgot to watch Craven and to keep track of his mind. On his right +Lady Sellingworth sat very still. She had put away her only half-smoked +cigarette. Her eyes looked down on the table cloth. Her very tall +figure was held upright, but without any stiffness. One of her hands +was hidden. The other, in a long white glove, rested on the table, and +presently the fingers of it began gently to close and unclose, making, +as they did this, a faint shuffling noise against the cloth. + +Miss Van Tuyn glanced at those fingers and then again at Craven, but for +the moment he did not notice her. He was standing by the little harbour +at the Villa Rosebery, looking across the bay to Capri on a warm summer +evening. And the sea people were in his thoughts. How often had he +envied them their lives, as men envy those whose lives are utterly +different from theirs! + +But presently Miss Van Tuyn's persistent and vigorous mind must have got +some hold on his, for he began to remember her beauty and to feel +the lure of it in the music. And then, almost simultaneously, he was +conscious of Lady Sellingworth, of her old age and of her departed +beauty. And he felt her loss in the music. + +Could such a woman enjoy listening to such music? Must it not rather +bring a subtle pain into her heart, the pain that Italy brings to her +devotees, when the years have stolen from them the last possibilities +of personal romance? For a moment Craven imaginatively projected himself +into old age, saw himself with white hair, a lined face, heavily-veined +hands, faded eyes. + +But her eyes were not faded. They still shone like lamps. Was she, +perhaps, the victim of a youthful soul hidden in an old body, like +trembling Love caged in a decaying tabernacle from which it could not +escape? + +He looked up. At the same moment Lady Sellingworth looked up. Their eyes +met. She smiled faintly, and her eyes mocked something or someone; fate, +perhaps, him, or herself. He did not know what or whom they mocked. + +The music stopped, and, after some applause, conversation broke out +again. + +"Have you given up Italy as you have given up Paris?" Miss Van Tuyn +asked of Lady Sellingworth. + +"Oh, yes, long ago. I only go to Aix now for a cure, and sometimes in +the early spring to Cap Martin." + +"The hotel?" + +"Yes; the hotel. I like the pine woods." + +"So do I. But, to my mind, there's no longer a vestige of real romance +on the French Riviera. Too many grand dukes have passed over it." + +Lady Sellingworth laughed. + +"But I don't seek romance when I leave London." + +"No?" + +She looked oddly doubtful for a moment. Then she said: + +"Mr. Craven, will you tell us the truth?" + +"It depends. What about?" + +"Oh, a very simple matter." + +"I'll do my best, but all men are liars." + +"We only ask you to do your best." + +"We!" he said, with a glance at Lady Sellingworth. + +"Yes--yes," she said. "I go solid with my sex." + +"Then--what is it?" + +"Do you ever go travelling--ever, without a secret hope of romance +meeting you on your travels, somewhere, somehow, wonderfully, suddenly? +Do you?" + +He thought for a moment. Then he said: + +"Honestly, I don't think I ever do." + +"There!" said Miss Van Tuyn triumphantly. "Nor do I." + +She looked half defiantly, half inquisitively at Lady Sellingworth. + +"My dear Beryl!" said the latter, "for all these lacks in your +temperament you must wait." + +"Wait? For how long?" + +"Till you are fifty, perhaps." + +"I know I shall want romance at fifty." + +"Let us say sixty, then." + +"Or," interrupted Craven, "until you are comfortably married." + +"Comfortably married!" she cried. "_Quelle horreur!_" + +"I had no idea Americans were so romantic," said Lady Sellingworth, with +just a touch of featherweight malice. + +"Americans! I believe the longing for romance covers both sexes and all +the human race." + +She let her eyes go into Craven's. + +"Only up till a certain age," said Lady Sellingworth. "When we love to +sit by the fire, we can do very well without it. But we must be careful +to lay up treasure for our old age, mental treasure. We must cultivate +tastes and habits which have nothing to do with wildness. A man in +Sorrento taught me about that." + +"A man in Sorrento!" said Miss Van Tuyn, suddenly and sharply on the +alert. + +"Yes. He was a famous writer, and had, I dare say, been a famous lover +in his time. One day, as we drove beyond the town towards the hills, +he described to me the compensations old age holds for sensible people. +It's a question of cultivating and preparing the mind, of filling the +storehouse against the day of famine. He had done it, and assured me +that he didn't regret his lost youth or sigh after its unrecoverable +pleasures. He had accustomed his mind to its task." + +"What task, dearest?" + +"Acting in connexion with the soul--his word that--as a thoroughly +efficient substitute for his body as a pleasure giver." + +At this moment the adoring eyes of the three musicians who were +"hairdressers in the daytime" focussed passionately upon Miss Van Tuyn, +distracted her attention. She felt masculinity intent upon her and +responded automatically. + +"The dear boys! They are asking if they shall play the Pastorale for me. +Look at their eyes!" she said. + +Craven did not bother to do that, but looked instead at hers, wondering +a little at her widespread energy in net casting. Was it possible that +once Lady Sellingworth had been like that, ceaselessly on the +lookout for worship, requiring it as a right, even from men who were +hairdressers in the daytime? As the musicians began to play he met her +eyes again and felt sure that it could not have been so. Whatever she +had done, whatever she had been, she could never have frequented the +back stairs. That thought seemed a rather cruel thrust at Miss Van Tuyn. +But there is a difference in vanities. Wonderful variety of nature! + +When the players had finished the Pastorale and "A Mezzanotte," and +had been rewarded by a long look of thanks from Miss Van Tuyn which +evidently drove them over the borders of admiration into the regions +of unfulfilled desire, Lady Sellingworth said she must go. And then an +unexpected thing happened. It appeared that Miss Van Tuyn had asked a +certain famous critic, who though English by birth was more Parisian +than most French people, to call for her at the restaurant and take her +on to join a party at the Cafe Royal. She, therefore, could not go yet, +and she begged Lady Sellingworth to stay on and to finish up the +evening in the company of Georgians at little marble tables. But Lady +Sellingworth laughingly jibbed at the Cafe Royal. + +"I should fall out of my _assiette_ there!" she said. + +"But no one is ever surprised at the Cafe Royal, dearest. It is the one +place in London where--Ah! here is Jennings come to fetch us!" + +A very small man, with a pointed black beard and wandering green eyes, +wearing a Spanish sombrero and a black cloak, and carrying an ebony +stick nearly as tall as himself, at this moment slipped furtively into +the room, and, without changing his delicately plaintive expression, +came up to Miss Van Tuyn and ceremoniously shook hands with her. + +Lady Sellingworth looked for a moment at Craven. + +"May I escort you home?" he said. "At any rate, let me get you a taxi." + +"Lady Sellingworth, may I introduce Ambrose Jennings," said Miss Van +Tuyn in a rather firm voice at this moment. + +Lady Sellingworth bent kindly to the little man far down below her. +After a word or two she said: + +"Now I must go." + +"Must you really? Then Mr. Craven will get you a taxi." + +"If it's fine, I will walk. It seems more suitable to walk home after +dining here." + +"Walk! Then let us all walk together, and we'll persuade you into the +Cafe Royal." + +"Dick Garstin will be there," said Ambrose Jennings in a frail voice, +"Enid Blunt, a Turkish refugee from Smyrna who writes quite decent +verse, Thapoulos, Penitence Murray, who is just out of prison, and Smith +the sculptor, with his mistress, a round-faced little Russian girl. +She's the dearest little Bolshevik I know." + +He looked plaintively yet critically at Lady Sellingworth, and pulled +his little black beard with fingers covered with antique rings. + +"Dear little bloodthirsty thing!" he added to Lady Sellingworth. "You +would like her. I know it." + +"I'm sure I should. There is something so alluring about Bolshevism when +it's safely tucked up at the Cafe Royal. But I will only walk to the +door." + +"And then Mr. Craven will get you a taxi," said Miss Van Tuyn. "Shall we +go?" + +They fared forth into the London night--Craven last. + +He realized that Miss Van Tuyn had made up her mind to keep both him +and Jennings as her possessions of the evening, and to send Lady +Sellingworth, if she would go home early, back to Berkeley Square +without an escort. Her cult for her friend, though doubtless genuine, +evidently weakened when there was any question of the allegiance of men. +Craven made up his mind that he would not leave Lady Sellingworth until +they were at the door of Number 18A, Berkeley Square. + +In the street he found himself by the side of Miss Van Tuyn, behind Lady +Sellingworth and Ambrose Jennings, who were really a living caricature +as they proceeded through the night towards Shaftesbury Avenue. The +smallness of Jennings, accentuated by his bat-like cloth cloak, his +ample sombrero and fantastically long stick, made Lady Sellingworth look +like a moving tower as she walked at his side, like a leaning tower when +she bent graciously to catch the murmur of his persistent conversation. +And as over the theatres in letters of fire were written the names +of the stars in the London firmament--Marie Lohr, Moscovitch, Elsie +Janis--so over, all over, Lady Sellingworth seemed to be written for +Craven to read: "I am really not a Bohemian." + +"Do you genuinely wish Lady Sellingworth to finish the evening at the +Cafe Royal?" he asked of his companion. + +"Yes. They would love her there. She would bring a new note." + +"Probably. But would she love them?" + +"I don't think you quite understand her," said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"I'm quite sure I don't. Still--" + +"In past years I am certain she has been to all the odd cafes of Paris." + +"Perhaps. But one changes. And you yourself said there were--or was it +had been?--two Adela Sellingworths, and that you only knew one." + +"Yes. But perhaps at the Cafe Royal I should get to know the other." + +"May she not be dead?" + +"I have a theory that nothing of us really dies while we live. Our abode +changes. We know that. But I believe the inhabitant is permanent. We are +what we were, with, of course, innumerable additions brought to us by +the years. For instance, I believe that Lady Sellingworth now is what +she was, to all intents and purposes, with additions which naturally +have made great apparent changes in her. An old moss-covered house, +overgrown with creepers, looks quite different from the same house when +it is new and bare. But go inside--the rooms are the same, and under the +moss and the creepers are the same walls." + +"It may be so. But what a difference the moss and the creepers make. +Some may be climbing roses." + +Craven felt the shrewd girlish eyes were looking at him closely. + +"In her case some of them certainly are!" she said. "Oh, do look at them +turning the corner! If Cirella were here he would have a subject for one +of his most perfect caricatures. It is the leaning tower of Pisa with a +bat." + +The left wing of Ambrose Jennings's cloak flew out as he whirled into +Regent Street by Lady Sellingworth's side. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +At the door of the Cafe Royal they stopped, and Miss Van Tuyn laid a +hand on Lady Sellingworth's arm. + +"Do come in, dearest. It will really amuse you," she said urgently. +"And--I'll be truthful--I want to show you off to the Georgians as my +friend. I want them to know how wonderful an Edwardian can be." + +"Please--please!" pleaded Jennings from under his sombrero. "Dick would +revel in you. You would whip him into brilliance. I know it. You admire +his work, surely?" + +"I admire it very much." + +"And he is more wonderful still when he's drunk. And to-night--I feel +it--he will be drunk. I pledge myself that Dick Garstin will be drunk." + +"I'm sure it would be a very great privilege to see Mr. Garstin drunk. +But I must go home. Good night, dear Beryl." + +"But the little Bolshevik! You must meet the little Bolshevik!" cried +Jennings. + +Lady Sellingworth shook her deer-like head, smiling. + +"Good night, Mr. Craven." + +"But he is going to get you a taxi," said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"Yes, and if you will allow me I am going to leave you at your door," +said Craven, with decision. + +A line appeared in Miss Van Tuyn's low forehead, but she only said: + +"And then you will come back and join us." + +"Thank you," said Craven. + +He took off his hat. Miss Van Tuyn gave him a long and eloquent look, +which was really not unlike a Leap Year proposal. Then she entered the +cafe with Jennings. Craven thought at that moment that her back looked +unusually rigid. + +A taxi was passing. He held up his hand. It stopped. Lady Sellingworth +and he got in, after he had given the address to the chauffeur. + +"What a lovely girl Beryl Van Tuyn is!" said Lady Sellingworth, as they +drove off. + +"She is--very lovely." + +"And she has a lot of courage, moral courage." + +"Is it?" he could not help saying. + +"Yes. She lives as she chooses to live. And yet she isn't married." + +"Would marriage make it all easier for her?" + +"Much, if she married the man who suited her." + +"I wonder what sort of a man that would be." + +"So does she, I think. But she's a strange girl. I should not be +surprised if she were never to marry at all." + +"Don't you think she would fall in love?" + +"Yes. For I think every living woman is capable of that. But she has the +sort of intellect which would not be tricked for very long by the heart. +Any weakness of hers would soon be over, I fancy." + +"I dare say you are right. In fact I believe you are generally right. +She told me you were a book of wisdom. And I feel that it is true." + +"Here is Berkeley Square." + +"How wrong it is of these chauffeurs to drive so fast! It is almost as +bad as in Paris. They defy the law. I should like to have this man up." + +He got out. She followed him, looking immensely tall in the dimness. + +"I am not going back to the Cafe Royal," he said. + +"But it will be amusing. And I think they are certainly expecting you." + +"I am not going there." + +She rang. Instantly the door was opened by the handsome middle-aged +butler. + +"Then come in for a little while," she said casually. "Murgatroyd, you +might bring us up some tea and lemon, or will you have whisky and soda, +Mr. Craven?" + +"I would much rather have tea and lemon, please," he said. + +A great fire was burning in the hall. Again Craven felt that he was in +a more elegant London than the London of modern days. As he went up +the wide, calm staircase, and tasted the big silence of the house, he +thought of the packed crowd in the Cafe Royal, of the uproar there, of +the smoke wreaths, of the staring heterogeneous faces, of the shouting +or sullenly folded lips, of the--perhaps--tipsy man of genius, of +Jennings with his green eyes, his black beard, his tall ebony staff, of +the "little bloodthirsty thing" with the round Russian face, of Miss Van +Tuyn in the midst of it all, sitting by the side of Enid Blunt, smoking +cigarettes, and searching the men's faces for the looks which were food +for her craving. And he loved the contrast which was given to him. + +"Do go in and sit by the fire, and I'll come in a moment," said the +husky voice he was learning to love. "I'm just going to take off my +hat." + +Craven opened the great mahogany door and went in. + +The big room was very dimly lighted by two standard electric lamps, one +near the fireplace, the other in a distant corner where a grand piano +stood behind a huge china bowl in which a pink azalea was blooming. +There was a low armchair near the fire by a sofa. He sat down in it, +and picked up a book which lay on a table close beside it. What did she +read--this book of wisdom? + +"_Musiciens d'aujourd'hui_," by Romain Rolland. + +Craven thought he was disappointed. There was no revelation for him in +that. He held the book on his knee, and wondered what he had expected +to find, what type of book. What special line of reading was Lady +Sellingworth's likely to be? He could imagine her dreaming over "Wisdom +and Destiny," or perhaps over "The Book of Pity and of Death." On the +other hand, it seemed quite natural to think of her smiling her mocking +smile over a work of delicate, or even of bitter, irony, such as +Anatole France's story of Pilate at the Baths of Baies, or study of +the Penguins. He could not think that she cared for sentimental books, +though she might perhaps have a taste for works dealing with genuine +passion. + +He heard the door open gently, and got up. Lady Sellingworth came in. +She had not changed her dress, which was a simple day dress of black. +She had only taken off her fur and hat, and now came towards him, still +wearing white gloves and holding a large black fan in her hand. + +"What's that you've got?" she asked. "Oh--my book!" + +"Yes. I took it up because I wondered what you were reading. I think +what people read by preference tells one something of what they are. I +was interested to know what you read. Forgive my curiosity." + +She sat down by the fire, opened the fan, and held it between her face +and the flames. + +"I read all sorts of things." + +"Novels?" + +"I very seldom read a novel now. Here is our tea. But I know you would +rather have a whisky-and-soda." + +"As a rule I should, but not to-night. I want to drink what you are +drinking." + +"And to smoke what I am smoking?" she said, with a faintly ironic smile. + +"Yes--please." + +She held out a box of cigarettes. The butler went out of the room. + +"I love this house," said Craven abruptly. "I love its atmosphere." + +"It isn't a modern atmosphere, is it?" + +"Neither distinctively modern, nor in the least old-fashioned. I think +the right adjective for it would be perhaps--" + +He paused and sat silent for a moment. + +"I hardly know. There's something remote, distinguished and yet very +warm and intimate about it." + +He looked at her and added, almost with hardihood. + +"It's not a cold, or even a reserved house." + +"Coldness and unnecessary reserve are tiresome--indeed, I might almost +say abhorrent--to me." + +She had given him his tea and lemon and taken hers. + +"But not aloofness?" + +"You have travelled?" + +"Yes." + +"Well, you know how, when travelling, it is easy to get into intimacies +with people whom one doesn't want to be intimate with at home." + +"Yes. I know all about that." + +"At my age one has learnt to avoid not only such intimacies but many +others less disagreeable, but which at moments might give one what I can +only call mental gooseflesh. Is that aloofness?" + +"I think it would probably be called so by some." + +"By whom?" + +"Oh, by mental gooseflesh-givers!" + +She laughed, laughed quite out with a completeness which had something +almost of youth in it. + +"I wonder," he added rather ruefully, after the pause which the laugh +had filled up, "I wonder whether I am one of them?" + +"I don't think you are." + +"And Ambrose Jennings?" + +"That's a clever man!" was her reply. + +And then she changed the conversation to criticism in general, and to +the type of clever mind which, unable to create, analyses the creations +of others sensitively. + +"But I much prefer the creators," she presently said. + +"So do I. They are like the fresh air compared with the air in a +carefully closed room," said Craven. "Talking of closed rooms, don't you +think it is strange the liking many brilliant men and women have, both +creators and analysers of creators, for the atmosphere of garish or +sordid cafes?" + +"You are thinking of the Cafe Royal?" + +"Yes. Do you know it?" + +"Don't tell Beryl--but I have never been in it. Nevertheless, I know +exactly what it is like." + +"By hearsay?" + +"Oh, no. In years gone by I have been into many of the cafes in Paris." + +"And did you like them and the life in them?" + +"In those days they often fascinated me, as no doubt the Cafe Royal and +its life fascinates Beryl to-day. The hectic appeals to something in +youth, when there is often fever in the blood. Strong lights, noise, the +human pressure of crowds, the sight of myriads of faces, the sound of +many voices--all that represents life to us when we are young. Calm, +empty spaces, single notes, room all round us for breathing amply and +fully, a face here or there--that doesn't seem like life to us then. +Beryl dines with me alone sometimes. But she must finish up in the +evening with a crowd if she is near the door of the place where the +crowd is. And you must not tell me you never like the Cafe Royal, for if +you do I shall not believe you." + +"I do like it at times," he acknowledged. "But to-night, sitting here, +the mere thought of it is almost hateful to me. It is all vermilion and +orange colour, while this . . ." + +"Is drab!" + +"No, indeed! Dim purple, perhaps, or deepest green." + +"You couldn't bear it for long. You would soon begin longing for +vermilion again." + +"You seem to think me very young. I am twenty-nine." + +"Have you ceased to love wildness already?" + +"No," he answered truthfully. "But there is something there which makes +me feel as if it were almost vulgar." + +"No, no. It need not be vulgar. It can be wonderful--beautiful, even. +It can be like the wild light which sometimes breaks out in the midst +of the blackness of a storm and which is wilder far than the darkest +clouds. Do you ever read William Watson?" + +"I have read some of his poems." + +"There is one I think very beautiful. I wonder if you know it. 'Pass, +thou wild heart, wild heart of youth that still hast half a will to +stay--'" + +She stopped and held her fan a little higher. + +"I don't know it," he said. + +"It always makes me feel that the man or woman who has never had the +wild heart has never been truly and intensely human. But one must know +when to stop, when to let the wild heart pass away." + +"But if the heart wants to remain?" + +"Then you must dominate it. Nothing is more pitiable, nothing is more +disgusting, even, than wildness in old age. I have a horror of that. +And I am certain that nothing else can affect youth so painfully. Old +wildness--that must give youth nausea of the soul." + +She spoke with a thrill of energy which penetrated Craven in a peculiar +and fascinating way. He felt almost as if she sent a vital fluid through +his veins. + +Suddenly he thought of the "old guard," and he knew that not one of the +truly marvellous women who belonged to it could hold him or charm him as +this white-haired woman, with the frankly old face, could and did. + +"After all," he thought, "it isn't the envelope that matters; it is the +letter inside." + +Deeply he believed that just then. He was, indeed, under a sort of +spell for the moment. Could the spell be lasting? He looked at Lady +Sellingworth's eyes in the lamplight and firelight, and, despite a +certain not forgotten moment connected with the Hyde Park Hotel, he +believed that it could. And Lady Sellingworth looked at him and knew +that it could not. About such a matter she had no illusions. + +And yet for years she had lived a life cloudy with illusions. What had +led her out from those clouds? Braybrooke had hinted to Craven that +possibly Seymour Portman knew the secret of Lady Sellingworth's abrupt +desertion of the "old guard" and plunge into old age. But even he did +not know it. For he loved her in a still, determined, undeviating way. +And no woman would care to tell such a secret to a man who loved her and +who was almost certain, barring the explosion of a moral bombshell, and +perhaps even then, to go on loving her. + +No one knew why Lady Sellingworth had abruptly and finally emerged from +the world of illusions in which she had lived. But possibly a member of +the underworld, a light-fingered gentleman of brazen assurance, had long +ago guessed the reason for her sudden departure from the regiment of +which she had been a conspicuous member; possibly he had guessed, or +surmised, why she had sent in her papers. But even he could scarcely be +certain. + +The truth of the matter was this. + + + + +PART TWO + + + +CHAPTER I + +Lady Sellingworth belonged to a great English family, and had been +brought up in healthy splendour, saved from the canker of too much +luxury by the aristocratic love of sport which is a tradition in such +English families as hers. As a girl she had been what a certain sporting +earl described as "a leggy beauty." Even then she had shown a decided +inclination to run wild and had seldom checked the inclination. +Unusually tall and athletic, rather boyish in appearance, and of the +thin, greyhound type, she had excelled in games and held her own in +sports. She had shot in an era when comparatively few women shot, and in +the hunting-field she had shown a reckless courage which had fascinated +the hard-riding men who frequented her father's house. As she grew older +her beauty had rapidly developed, and with it an insatiable love of +admiration. Early she had realized that she was going to be a beauty, +and had privately thanked the gods for her luck. She could scarcely have +borne not to be a beauty; but, mercifully, it was all right. Woman's +greatest gift was to be hers. When she looked into the glass and knew +that, when she looked into men's eyes and knew it even more definitely, +she felt merciless and eternal. In the dawn no end was in sight; in the +dawn no end seemed possible. + +From the age of sixteen onwards hers was the intimate joy, certainly +one of the greatest, if not the greatest of all the joys of women, of +knowing that all men looked at her with pleasure, that many men looked +at her with longing, that she was incessantly desired. + +From the time when she was sixteen she lived perpetually in that +atmosphere which men throw round a daring and beautiful woman without +even conscious intention, creating it irresistibly merely by their +natural desire. And that atmosphere was the breath of life to her. Soon +she could not imagine finding any real value in life without it. She +often considered plain girls, dull girls, middle-aged women who had +never had any beauty, any saving grace but that of freshness, and +wondered how they managed to get along at all. What was the use of life +to them? Nobody bothered about them, except, perhaps, a few relations, +or what are called "old friends"--that is, people who, having always +been accustomed to you, put up with you comfortably, and wear their +carpet slippers in your presence without troubling whether you like +slippers or would prefer them in high-heeled shoes. + +As to old women, those from whom almost the last vestiges of what they +once had been physically had fallen away, she was always charming to +them; but she always wondered why they still seemed to cling on to life. +They were done with. It was long ago all over for them. They did not +matter any more, even if once they had mattered. Why did they still keep +a hold on life with their skinny hands? Was it from fear of death, or +what? Once she expressed her wonder about this to a man. + +"Of course," she said. "I know they can't go just because they want to. +But why do they _want_ to stay?" + +"Oh," he said, "I think lots of old ladies enjoy themselves immensely in +their own way." + +"Well, I can't understand it!" she said. + +And she spoke the truth. + +She flirted, of course. Her youthful years were complicated by a maze +of flirtations, through which she wandered with apparently the greatest +assurance, gaining knowledge of men. + +Finally she married. She made what is called "a great match," the sort +of match in every way suitable to such an aristocratic, beautiful and +daring girl. + +Then began her real reign. + +Although such a keen sportswoman, she was also a woman who had a good +brain, a quick understanding, and a genuine love of the intellectual and +artistic side of life, for its own sake, not for any reason of fashion. +She was of the type that rather makes fashions than follows them. As a +married woman she was not only Diana in the open country, she was Egeria +elsewhere. She liked and she wanted all types of men; the hard-bitten, +keen-eyed, lean-flanked men who could give her a lead or take a lead +from her over difficult country, and the softer breed of men, whose more +rounded bodies were informed by sharp spirits, who, many of them, +could not have sat a horse over the easiest fence, or perhaps even have +brought down a stag at twenty paces, but who would dominate thousands +from their desks, or from the stages of opera houses, or from adjustable +seats in front of pianos, or from studios hung with embroideries and +strewn with carpets of the East. + +These knew how to admire and long for a beautiful woman quite as well +as the men of the moors and the hunting field, and they were often more +subtle in their ways of showing their feelings. + +Lady Sellingworth had horses named after her and books dedicated to her. +She moved in all sets which were penetrated by the violent zest for the +life of the big world, and in all sets she more than held her own. She +was as much at home in Chelsea as she was at Newmarket. Her beautifully +disguised search for admiration extended far and wide, and she found +what she wanted sometimes in unexpected places, in sombre Oxford +libraries, in time-worn deaneries, in East-End settlements, through +which she flashed now and then like a bird of Paradise, darting across +the murk of a strange black country on its way to golden regions, as +well as in Mayfair, in the Shires, in foreign capitals, and on the moors +of Scotland. + +Her husband was no obstacle in her way. She completely dominated him, +even though she gave him no child. He knew she was, as he expressed it, +"worth fifty" of him. Emphatically he was the husband of his wife, and +five years after their marriage he died still adoring her. + +She was sorry; she was even very sorry. And she withdrew from the great +world in which she had been a moving spirit now for over ten years for +the period of mourning, a year. But she was not overwhelmed by sorrow. +It is so very difficult for the woman who lives by, and for, her beauty +and her charm for men to be overwhelmed. One man has gone and she mourns +him; but there are so many men left, all of them with eyes in which +lamps may be set and with hearts to be broken. + +It was at this time that she became very familiar with Paris. + +She wanted to be away from London, so she took an apartment in Paris, +and began to live there very quietly. Friends, of course, came to see +her, and she began to study Paris thoroughly, not the gay, social Paris, +but a very interesting Paris. Presently her freedom from the ordinary +social ties began to amuse her. She had now so much time for all sorts +of things which women very much in society miss more often than +not. Never going to parties, she was able to go elsewhere. She went +elsewhere. Always there had dwelt caged in her a certain wildness which +did not come from her English blood. There was a foreign strain in +her from the borders of Asia mingled with a strong Celtic strain. This +wildness which in her girlhood she had let loose happily in games and +sports, in violent flirtations, and in much daring skating over thin +ice, which in her married life had spent itself in the whirl of society, +and in the energies necessary to the attainment of an unchallenged +position at the top of things, in her widowhood began to seek an outlet +in Bohemia. + +Paris can be a very kind or a very cruel city, in its gaiety hiding +velvet or the claws of a tiger. To Lady Sellingworth--then Lady +Manham--it was kind. It gave her its velvet. She knew a fresh type +of life there, with much for the intellect, with not a little for the +senses, even with something for the heart. It was there that she visited +out-of-the-way cafes, where clever men met and talked over every subject +on earth. A place like the Cafe Royal in London had no attraction for +the Lady Sellingworth over sixty. That sort of thing, raised to the +_nth_ degree, had been familiar to her years and years ago, before Beryl +Van Tuyn and Enid Blunt had been in their cradles. + +And the freedom of her widowhood, with no tie at all, had become +gradually very dear to her. She had felt free enough in her marriage. +But this manner of life had more breathing space in it. There is no +doubt that in that Paris year, especially in the second half of it, she +allowed the wild strain in her to play as it had never played before, +like a reckless child out of sight of parents and all relations. + +When the mourning was over and she returned to London she was a woman +who had progressed, but whether upon an upward or a downward path who +shall decide? She had certainly become more fascinating. Her beauty was +at its height. The year in Paris, lived almost wholly among clever and +very unprejudiced French people, had given her a peculiar polish--one +Frenchman who knew English slang called it "a shine"--which made her +stand out among her English contemporaries. Many of them when girls had +received a "finish" in Paris. But girls cannot go about as she had gone +about. They had learnt French; she had learnt Paris. From that +time onward she was probably the most truly cosmopolitan of all the +aristocratic Englishwomen of her day. Distinguished foreigners who +visited London generally paid their first private call on her. Her house +was European rather than English. She kept, too, her apartment in Paris, +and lived there almost as much as she lived in London. And, perhaps, her +secret wildness was more at home there. + +Scandal, of course, could not leave her untouched. But her position in +society was never challenged. People said dreadful things about her, but +everyone who did not know her wanted to know her, and no one who knew +her wished not to know her. She "stood out" from all the other women in +England of her day, not merely because of her beauty--she was not more +beautiful than several of her contemporaries--but because of her gay +distinction, a daring which was never, which could not be, ill bred, +her extraordinary lack of all affectation, and a peculiar and delightful +bonhomie which made her at home with everyone and everyone at home with +her. Servants and dependents loved her. Everyone about her was fond of +her. And yet she was certainly selfish. Invariably almost she was kind +to people, but herself came first with her. She made few sacrifices, +and many sacrificed themselves to her. There was seldom a moment when +incense was not rising up before her altar, and the burnt offerings to +her were innumerable. + +And all through these years she was sinking more deeply into slavery, +while she was ruling others. Her slavery was to herself. She was the +captive of her own vanity. Her love of admiration had developed into +an insatiable passion. She was ceaselessly in her tower spying out for +fresh lovers. From afar off she perceived them, and when they drew near +to her castle she stopped them on their way. She did not love them and +cast them to death like Tamara of the Caucasus. No; but she required of +them the pause on their travels, which was a tribute to her power. No +one must pass her by as if she were an ordinary woman. + +Probably there is no weed in all the human garden which grows so fast as +vanity. Lady Sellingworth's vanity grew and grew with the years until +it almost devoured her. It became an idee fixe in her. A few people no +doubt knew this--a few women. But she was saved from all vulgarity of +vanity by an inherent distinction, not only of manner but of something +more intimate, which never quite abandoned her, which her vanity was +never able to destroy. Although her vanity was colossal, she usually +either concealed it, or if she showed it showed it subtly. She was not +of the type which cannot pass a mirror in a restaurant without staring +into it. She only looked into mirrors in private. Nor was she one of +those women who powder their faces and rouge their lips before men in +public places. It was impossible for her to be blatant. Nevertheless, +her moral disease led her gradually to fall from her own secret standard +of what a woman of her world should be. Craven had once said to himself +that Lady Sellingworth could never seek the backstairs. He was not +wholly right in this surmise about her. There was a time in her +life--the time when she was, or was called, a professional beauty--when +she could scarcely see a man's face without watching it for admiration. +Although she preserved her delightfully unselfconscious manner she was +almost ceaselessly conscious of self. Her own beauty was the idol which +she worshipped and which she presented to the world expectant of the +worship of others. There have been many women like her, but few who have +been so clever in hiding their disease. But always seated in her brain +there was an imp who understood, was contemptuous and mocked, an imp who +knew what was coming to her, what comes to all the daughters of men who +outlive youth and its shadowy triumphs. Her brain was ironic, while her +temperament was passionate, and greedy in its pursuit of the food it +clamoured for; her brain watched the unceasing chase with almost a +bitterness of sarcasm, merging sometimes into a bitterness of pity. In +some women there seems at times to be a dual personality, a woman of +the blood at odds with a woman of the grey matter. It was so in Lady +Sellingworth's case, but for a long time the former woman dominated the +latter, whose empire was to come later with white hair and a ravaged +face. + +At the age of thirty-five, after some years of brilliant and even of +despotic widowhood, she married again--Lord Sellingworth. + +He was twenty-five years older than she was, ruggedly handsome, huge, +lean, self-possessed, very clever, very worldly, and that unusual +phenomenon, a genuine atheist. There was no doubt that he had a keen +passion for her, one of those passions which sometimes flare up in a man +of a strong and impetuous nature, who has lived too much, who is +worn out, haunted at times by physical weariness, yet still fiercely +determined to keep a tight grip on life and life's few real pleasures, +the greatest of which is perhaps the indulgence of love. + +Like her first marriage this marriage was apparently a success. Lord +Sellingworth's cleverness fascinated his wife's brain, and led her to +value the pursuits of the intellect more than she had ever done before. +She was proud of his knowledge and wit, proud of being loved by a man of +obvious value. After this marriage her house became more than ever the +resort of the brilliant men of the day. But though Lord Sellingworth +undoubtedly improved his wife's mental capacities, enlarged the horizon +of her mind, and gave her new interests, without specially intending it +he injured her soul. For he increased her worldliness and infected +her with his atheism. She had always been devoted to the world. He +continually suggested to her that there was nothing else, nothing +beyond. All sense of mysticism had been left out of his nature. What he +called "priestcraft" was abhorrent to him. The various religions seemed +to him merely different forms of superstition, the assertions of their +leaders only varying forms of humbug. He was greedy in searching for +food to content the passions of the body, and was restless in pursuit of +nutriment for the mind. But not believing in the soul he took no trouble +about it. + +Lady Sellingworth had this man at her feet. Nevertheless, in a certain +way he dominated her. In hard mental power he was much her superior, and +her mind became gradually subservient to his in many subtle ways. It was +in his day that she developed that noticeable and almost reckless egoism +which is summed up by the laconic saying, "after me the deluge." For +Lord Sellingworth's atheism was not of the type which leads to active +humanitarianism, but of the opposite type which leads to an exquisite +selfishness. And he led his wife with him. He taught her the whole +art of self-culture, and with it the whole art of self-worship, subtly +extending to her mind that which for long had been concerned mainly with +the body. They were two of the most selfish and two of the most charming +people in London. For they were both thorough bred and naturally +kind-hearted, and so there were always showers of crumbs falling from +their well-spread table for the benefit of those about them. Their +friends had a magnificent time with them and so did their servants. They +liked others to be pleased with them and satisfied because of them. For +they must live in a warm atmosphere. And nothing makes the atmosphere +so cold about a man or woman as the egoism which shows itself in +miserliness, or in the unwillingness that others should have a good +time. + +When Lady Sellingworth was thirty-nine Lord Sellingworth died abruptly. +The doctors said that his heart was worn out; others said something +different, something less kind. + +For the second time Lady Sellingworth was a widow; for the second time +she spent the period of mourning in Paris. And when it was over she +went for a tour round the world with a small party of friends; Sir Guy +Letchworth and his plain, but gay and clever wife, and Roger Brand, a +millionaire and a famous Edwardian. + +Brand was a bachelor, and had long been a devoted adherent of Lady +Sellingworth's, and people, of course, said that he was going to marry +her. But they eventually came back from their long tour comfortably +disengaged. Brand went back to his enormous home in Park Lane, and Lady +Sellingworth settled down in number 18A Berkeley Square. + +She was now forty-one. She had arrived at a very difficult period in the +life of a beauty. The freshness and bloom of youth had inevitably left +her. The adjectives applied to her were changing. The word "lovely" was +dropped. Its place was taken by such epithets as "handsome," "splendid +looking," "brilliant," "striking," "alluring." People spoke of Lady +Sellingworth's "good days"; and said of her, "Isn't she astonishing?" +The word "zenith" was occasionally used in reference to her. A verb +which began to be mixed up with her a good deal was the verb "to +last." It was said of her that she "lasted" wonderfully. Women put the +question, "Isn't it miraculous how Adela Sellingworth lasts?" + +All this might, perhaps, be called complimentary. But women are not as +a rule specially fond of such compliments. When kind friends speak of +a woman's "good days" there is an implication that some of her days are +bad. Lady Sellingworth knew as well as any woman which compliments are +left-handed and which are not. On one occasion soon after she returned +to London from her tour round the world a woman friend said to her: + +"Adela, you have never looked better than you do now. Do you know what +you remind me of?" + +The woman was an American. Lady Sellingworth replied carelessly: + +"I haven't the slightest idea." + +"You remind me of our wonderful Indian summers that come in October. How +do you manage it?" + +That come in October? + +These words struck a chill through Lady Sellingworth. Suddenly she felt +the autumn in her. She had been in America: she had known the glory of +its Indian summer; she had also known that Indian summer's startling +sudden collapse. Winter comes swiftly after those almost unnaturally +golden days. And what is there left in winter for a woman who has lived +for her beauty since she was sixteen years old? The freedom of a second +widowhood would be only chill loneliness in winter. She saw herself like +a figure in the distance, sitting over a fire alone. But little warmth +would come from that fire. The warmth that was necessary to her came +from quite other sources than coal or wood kindled and giving out +flames. + +Her vanity shuddered. She realized strongly, perhaps, for the first +time, that people were just beginning to think of her as a woman +inevitably on the wane. She looked into her mirror, stared into it, +and tried to consider herself impartially. She was certainly very +good-looking. Her tall figure had never been made ugly by fatness. She +was not the victim of what is sometimes called "the elderly spread." But +although she was slim, considering her great height, she thought that +she discerned signs of a thickening tendency. She must take that in +time. Her figure must not be allowed to degenerate. And her face? + +She was so accustomed to her face, and so accustomed to its being a +beautiful face, that it was difficult to her to regard it with cold +impartiality. But she tried to; tried to look at it as she might have +looked at the face of another woman, of say, a rival beauty. + +What age did the face seem to be? If she had seen it passing by in the +street what age would she have guessed its owner to be? Something in +the thirties; but perhaps in the late thirties? She wasn't quite +certain about it. Really it is so difficult to look at yourself quite +impartially. And she did not wish to fall into exaggeration, to be +hypercritical. She wished to be strictly reasonable, to see herself +exactly as she was. The eyes were brilliant, but did they look like +young eyes? + +No, they didn't. And yet they were full of light. There was nothing +faded about them. But somehow at that moment they looked terribly +experienced. With a conscious effort she tried to change their +expression, to make them look less full of knowledge. But it seemed to +her that she failed utterly. No, they were not young eyes; they never +could be young eyes. The long accustomed woman of the world was mirrored +in them with her many experiences. They were beautiful in their way, but +their way had nothing to do with youth. And near the eyes, very near, +there were definite traces of maturity. A few, as yet very faint, lines +showed; and there were shadows; and there was--she could only call it +to herself "a slightly hollow look," which she had never observed in any +girl, or, so far as she remembered, in any young woman. + +She gazed at her mouth and then at her throat. Both showed signs of age; +the throat especially, she thought. The lips were fine, finely curved, +voluptuous. But they were somehow not fresh lips. In some mysterious +way, which really she could not define, life had marked them as mature. +There were a couple of little furrows in the throat and there was also +a slightly "drawn" look on each side just below the line of the jaw. By +the temples also, close to the hair, there was something which did not +look young. + +Lady Sellingworth felt very cold. At that moment she probably +exaggerated in her mind the effect of her appearance. She plunged down +into pessimism about herself. A sort of desperation came upon her. +Underneath all her conquering charm, hidden away like a trembling bird +under depths of green leaves, there was a secret diffidence of which she +had occasionally been conscious during her life. It had no doubt been +born with her, had lived in her as long as she had lived. Very few +people knew of its existence. But she knew, had known of it as long as +she remembered. Now that diffidence seemed to hold her with talons, to +press its beak into her heart. + +She felt that she could not face the world with any assurance if she +lost her beauty. She had charm, cleverness, rank, position, money. She +knew all her advantages. But at that moment she seemed to be confronting +penury. And as she continued to look into the mirror ugliness seemed to +grow in the woman she saw like a spreading disease till she felt that +she would be frightened to show herself to anyone, and wished she could +hide from everyone who knew her. + +That absurdly morbid fit passed, of course. It could not continue, +except in a woman who was physically ill, and Lady Sellingworth was +quite well. But it left its mark in her mind. From that day she began +to take intense trouble with herself. Hitherto she had been inclined +to trust her own beauty. She had relied on it almost instinctively. +And that strange, hidden diffidence, when it had manifested itself, +had manifested itself in connexion with social things, the success of +a dinner, or with things of the mind, the success or non-success of a +conversation with a clever man. She had never spoken of it to anyone, +for she had always been more or less ashamed of it, and had brought +silence to her aid in the endeavour to stamp it out lest it should +impair her power over others. But now it was quickened within her. It +grew, and in its growth tortured her. + +"How do you manage it?" + +That not very kind question of the friend who had compared her to an +Indian summer remained with Lady Sellingworth. Since she had considered +herself in the mirror she had realized that she had attained that +critical period in a beauty's life when she must begin incessantly to +manage to continue a beauty. Hitherto, beyond always dressing perfectly +and taking care to be properly "turned out," she had done less to +herself than many women habitually do. Now she swung to the opposite +extreme. There is no need to describe what she did. She did, or had done +to her, all that she considered necessary, and she considered that a +very great deal was necessary. + +A certain Greek, who was a marvellous expert in his line, helped her at +a very high figure. And she helped herself by much rigid abstinence, +by denying natural appetites, by patient physical discipline. Her fight +against the years was tremendous, and was conducted with extraordinary +courage. + +But nevertheless it seemed to her that a curse was put upon her; in that +she was surely one of those women who, once they take the first step +upon the downward slope, are compelled to go forward with a damnable +rapidity. + +The more she "managed it" the more there seemed to be to manage. +From the time when she frankly gave herself into the clutches of +artificiality the natural physical merit of her seemed to her to +deteriorate at a speed which was headlong. + +A hideous leap in the downward course took place presently. She began to +dye her hair. She was not such a fool as to change its natural colour. +She merely concealed the fact that white hairs were beginning to grow on +her head at an age when many simple people, who don't care particularly +what they look like--sensible clergymen's wives in the provinces, and +others unknown to fashion--remain as brown as a berry, or as pleasantly +auburn as the rind of a chestnut. + +The knowledge of those hidden white hairs haunted her. She felt horribly +ashamed of them. She hated them with an intense, and almost despairing, +hatred. For they stamped the terrific difference between her body and +her nature. + +It seemed to her that in her nature she retained all the passions of +youth. This was not strictly true, for no woman over forty has precisely +the same passions as an ardent girl, however ardent she may be. But the +"wild heart," spoken of by Lady Sellingworth to Craven, still beat in +her breast, and the vanity of the girl, enormously increased by the +passage of the years, still lived intensely in the middle-aged woman. +It was perhaps this natural wildness combined with her vanity which +tortured Lady Sellingworth most at this period of her life. She still +desired happiness and pleasure greedily, indeed with almost unnatural +greediness; she still felt that life robbed of the admiration and the +longing of men would not be worth living. + +Beryl Van Tuyn had spoken of a photograph of Lady Sellingworth taken +when she was about forty-nine, and had said that, though very handsome, +it showed a _fausse jeunesse_, and revealed a woman looking vain and +imperious, a woman with the expression of one always on the watch for +new lovers. And there had been a cruel truth in her words. For, from the +time when she had given herself to artificiality until the time, some +nine years later, when she had plunged into what had seemed to her, +and to many others, something very like old age, Lady Sellingworth had +definitely and continuously deteriorated, as all those do who try +to defy any natural process. Carrying on a fight in which there is +a possibility of winning may not do serious harm to a character, but +carrying on a fight which must inevitably be lost always hardens and +embitters the combatant. During those years of her _fausse jeunesse_ +Lady Sellingworth was at her worst. + +For one thing she became the victim of jealousy. She was secretly +jealous of good-looking young women, and, spreading her evil wide like a +cloud, she was even jealous of youth. To be young was to possess a +gift which she had lost, and a gift which men love as they love but few +things. She could not help secretly hating the possessors of it. + +She had now become enrolled in the "old guard," and had adopted as her +device their motto, "Never give up." She was one of the more or less +mysterious fighters of London. She fought youth incessantly, and she +fought Time. And sometimes the weariness and the nausea of battle lay +heavy upon her. Her expression began to change. She never lost, she +never could lose, her distinction, but it was slightly blurred, slightly +tarnished. She preserved the appearance of bonhomie, but her cordiality, +her good nature, were not what they had been. Formerly she had had +marvellous spirits; now she was often accompanied into the world by the +black dog. And when she was alone he sat by the hearth with her. + +She began to hate being a widow. Sometimes she thought that she wished +she had had children. But then it occurred to her that they might have +been daughters, lovely girls now perhaps, showing to society what she +had once been. With such daughters she would surely have been forced +into abdication. For she knew that she could never have entered into a +contest with her own children. Perhaps it was best as it was, best that +she was childless. + +She might no doubt have married a third time. Sir Seymour Portman, a +bachelor for her sake, would have asked nothing better than to become +her husband. And there were other middle-aged and old men who would +gladly have linked themselves with her, and who did not scruple to +tell her so. But now she could not bear the idea of making a "suitable" +match. Lord Sellingworth had been old, and she had been happy with him. +But she had felt, and had considered herself to be, young when she had +married him. The contrast between him and herself had been flattering to +her vanity. It would be different now. And besides, with the coming of +middle age, and the fatal fading of physical attraction, there had come +into her a painful obsession. + +As much as she hated youth in women she was attracted by it in men. She +began secretly to worship youth as it showed itself in the other sex. +Something in her clamoured for the admiration and the longing of the +young men who were amorous of life, who were comparatively new to the +fray, who had the ardour and the freshness which could have mated with +hers when she was a girl, but which now contrasted violently with her +terribly complete experience and growing morbidity. She felt that now +she could never marry a man of her own age or older than herself, not +simply because she could not love such a man, but because she would be +perpetually in danger of loving a man of quite another type. + +She entered upon a very ugly period, perhaps the ugliest there can be in +the secret life of a woman. And it was then that there came definitely +into her face, and was fixed there, the expression noted by Miss Van +Tuyn in the photograph in Mrs. Ackroyd's drawing-room, the expression of +a woman on the pounce. + +There is no food so satisfying to the vanity of a middle-aged woman as +the admiration and desire of young men. Lady Sellingworth longed +for, and sought for, that food, but not without inward shame, and +occasionally something that approached inward horror. For she had, and +never was able to lose, a sense of what was due not merely to herself +but to her better self. Here the woman of the blood was at grips with +the woman of the grey matter. And the imp enthroned somewhere within her +watched, marked, remembered, condemned. + +That imp began to persecute Lady Sellingworth. She would have slain him +if she could, for he was horribly critical, and remained cold through +all her intensities. In Paris he had often been useful to her, for irony +is appreciated in Paris, and he was strongly ironical. Often she felt as +if he had eyes fixed upon her sardonically, when she was giving way to +the woman in her blood. In Paris it had been different. For there, at +any rate in all the earlier years, he had been criticizing and laughing +at others. Now his attention was always on her. There were moments when +she could almost hear his ugly, whispering voice telling her all he +thought about her, about her appearance, her conduct, her future, about +her connexions with others now, about the loneliness that was coming +upon her. She saw many other women who were evidently content in, and +unconscious of, their follies. Why was she not like them? Why had she +been singled out for this persecution of the brain. It is terrible to +have a brain which mocks at you instead of happily mocking at others. +And that was her case. Later she was to understand herself better; she +was to understand that her secret diffidence was connected with the imp, +was the imp's child in her as it were; later, too, she was to learn that +the imp was working for her eventual salvation, in the moral sense. + +But she had not yet reached that turning in the path of her life. + +During all this period her existence was apparently as successful and +brilliant as ever. She was still a leader in London, knowing and known +to everyone, going to all interesting functions, receiving at her house +all the famous men and women of the day. To an observer it would have +seemed that she occupied an impregnable position and that she was having +a wonderful time. But she was really a very unhappy woman at violent +odds with herself. + +On one occasion when she was giving a dinner in her house a discussion +broke out on the question of happiness. It was asked by someone, "If you +could demand of the gods one gift, with the certainty of receiving +it, what gift would you demand?" Various answers were given. One said, +"Youth for as long as I lived"; another "Perfect health"; another +"Supreme beauty"; another "The most brilliant intellect of my time"; +another "The love and admiration of all I came in contact with." +Finally a sad-looking elderly man, poet, philosopher, and the former +administrator of a great province in India, was appealed to. His answer +was, "Complete peace of mind." And on his answer followed the general +discussion about happiness. + +When the party broke up and Lady Sellingworth was alone she thought +almost desperately about that discussion and about the last answer to +the question which had been put. + +Complete peace of mind! How extraordinary it would be to possess that! +She could scarcely conceive of it, and it seemed to her that even in her +most wonderful days, in her radiant and careless youth, when she had +had almost everything, she had never had that. But then she had not even +wanted to have it. Complete peace seems but a chilly sort of thing to +youth in its quick-silver time. But later on in life we love combat +less. + +Suddenly Lady Sellingworth realized the age of her mind, and it seemed +to her that she was a horrible mixture of incongruities. She was +physically aging slowly but surely. She had appetites which were in +direct conflict with age. She had desires all of which turned towards +youth. And her mind was quite old. It must be, she said to herself, +because now she was sitting still and longing to know that complete +peace of mind which an old man had talked of that evening at her dinner +table. + +A sort of panic shook her as she thought of all the antagonists which at +a certain period of life gather together to attack and slay youth, all +vestiges of youth, in the human being; the unsatisfied appetites, +the revolts of the body, the wearinesses of soul, and the subtle and +contradictory desires which lie hidden deep in the mind. + +She was now intensely careful about her body, had brought its care +almost to the level of a finely finished art. But she had not troubled +about the disciplining of her mind. Yet the undisciplined mind can work +havoc in the tissues of the body. Youth of the mind, if preserved, helps +the body to continue apparently young. It may not be able to cause the +body actually to look young, but in some mysterious way it throws round +the body a youthful atmosphere which deceives many people, which creates +an illusion. And the strange thing is that the more intimate people are +with one possessing that mental youthfulness, the more strong is the +illusion upon them. Atmosphere has a spell which increases upon us +the longer we remain bathed in it. Lady Sellingworth said all this to +herself that night, and rebuked herself for letting her mind go towards +old age. She rebelled against the longing for complete peace of mind +because she now connected such a longing with stagnation. And men, +especially young men, love vivacity, restlessness, the swift flying +temperament. Such a temperament suggests to them youth. It is old age +which sits still. Youth is for ever on the move. + +"I must not long for peace or anything of that kind!" she said to +herself. + +Nevertheless the lack of all mental peace ravages the body. + +She scarcely knew what to do for the best. But eventually she tried +to take her mind in hand, for she was afraid of it, afraid of its age, +afraid of the effect its age might eventually have upon her appearance. +So she strove to train it backwards towards youthfulness. For now +she was sure that she was not one of those fortunate women who have +naturally young minds which refuse to grow old. She knew a few such +women. She envied them almost bitterly. There was no need for them to +strive. She watched them surreptitiously, studied them, tried to master +their secret. + +Presently a tragic episode occurred in her life. + +She fell in love with a man of about twenty-three. He was the son of +people whom she knew very well in Paris, French people who were almost +her contemporaries, and was the sporting type of Frenchman, very +good-looking, lively, satirical and strong. He was a famous lawn tennis +player and came over to London for the tournament at Wimbledon. She had +already seen him in Paris, and had known him when he was little more +than a boy. But she had never thought much about him in those days. For +in those days she had not been haunted by the passion for youth which +possessed her now. + +Louis de Rocheouart visited at her house as a matter of course, was +agreeable and gallant to her because she was a charming and influential +woman and an old friend of his family. But he did not think of her as a +woman to whom it was possible that a man of his age could make love. +He looked upon her as one who had been a famous beauty, but who was now +merely a clever, well-preserved and extremely successful member of +the "old guard" of society in London. Her "day" as a beauty was in his +humble opinion quite over. She belonged to his mother's day. He knew +that. And his mother happened to be one of those delightful Frenchwomen +who are spirituelle at all ages, but who never pretend to be anything +they are not. His mother's hair was already grey, and she had two +married daughters, one of whom had been trusting enough to make her a +grandmother. + +While Rocheouart was in London a number of popular middle-aged +women banded together and gave a very smart ball at Prince's. Lady +Sellingworth was one of the hostesses, all of whom danced merrily and +appeared to be in excellent spirits and health. It was certainly one +of the very best balls of the season, and young men turned up at it in +large numbers. Among them was young Rocheouart. + +Lady Sellingworth danced with him more than once. That night she had +almost managed to deceive herself as to the real truth of life. The +ball was being such a success; the scramble for invitations had been so +great; the young men evidently found things so lively, and seemed to be +in such exuberant spirits, that she was carried away, and really felt as +if youth were once more dancing through her veins and shining out of her +eyes. + +The "old guard" were _in excelsis_ that night; the Edwardians were in +their glory on the top of the world. Probably more than one of them +thought, "They can say what they like but we can cut out the girls when +we choose." Their savoir faire was immense. Many of them still possessed +an amazing amount of the joie de vivre. And some of them were thoroughly +sensible women, saved from absurdity by the blessed sense of humour. + +But Lady Sellingworth was by this time desperately in love with Louis +de Rocheouart, and her sense of humour was in abeyance that night. In +consequence, she was the victim of a mortification which she was never +to forget as long as she lived. + +Towards the end of the evening she happened to be standing with Sir +Seymour Portman near the entrance to the ballroom, and overheard a scrap +of conversation between two people just behind them. + +A girl's light voice said: + +"Have you heard the name Cora Wellingborough has given to this ball?" + +(The Duchess of Wellingborough was one of the hostesses.) + +"No," replied a voice, which Lady Sellingworth recognized as the voice +of young Rocheouart. "What is it?" + +"She calls it 'The Hags' Hop'! Isn't it delicious of her? It will be +all over London to-morrow. The name will stick. In the annuals of London +festivities to-night will always be remembered as the night of the +famous Hags' Hop." + +Lady Sellingworth heard Rocheouart's strong, manly young laugh. + +"That's just like the duchess!" he said. "She's simply made of humour +and always hits the nail on the head. And how clever of her to give the +right name to the ball herself instead of leaving it for some pretty +girl to do. The Hags' Hop! It's perfect! If she hadn't said that, you +would have before the evening was out, and then all the charming hags +would have been furious with you." + +The girl laughed, and she and Rocheouart passed Lady Sellingworth +without noticing her and went into the ballroom. + +She looked at them as they began to dance; then she looked at the +Duchess of Wellingborough, who was also dancing. + +The duchess was frankly middle-aged. She was very good-looking, but +she had let her figure go. She was quite obviously the victim of +the "elderly spread." Her health was excellent, her sense of humour +unfailing. She never pretended to anything, but was as natural almost as +a big child. Although a widow, she wanted no lover. She often said that +she had "got beyond all that sort of thing." Another of her laughingly +frank sayings was: "No young man need be afraid of me." In consequence +of her gaiety, humour, frankness and hospitality she was universally +popular. + +But that night Lady Sellingworth almost hated her. + +The Hags' Hop! + +That terrible name stuck in Lady Sellingworth's mind and seemed to +fasten there like a wound in a body. + +As Rocheouart's partner had foretold, the name went all over London. +The duchess's _mot_ even got into a picture paper, and everyone laughed +about it. The duchess was delighted. Nobody seemed to mind. Even Lady +Sellingworth forced herself to quote the saying and to make merry over +it. But from that day she gave up dancing entirely. Nothing would induce +her even to join in a formal royal quadrille. + +Before his return to Paris, Rocheouart came to bid her good-bye. +Although she was still, as she supposed, madly in love with him, +she concealed it, or, if she showed it, did so only by being rather +unnaturally cold with him. When he was gone she felt desperate. + +Her imp had perhaps controlled her during the short time of Rocheouart's +final visit, had mocked and made her fear him. When she was alone, +however, he vanished for the moment. + +From that time the hidden diffidence in Lady Sellingworth was her deadly +enemy, because it fought perpetually with her vanity and with her almost +uncontrollable desires. Sometimes she was tempted to give way to it +entirely and to retire from the fray. But she asked herself what she +had to retire to. The thought of a life lived in the shade, or of a +definitely middle-aged life, prolonged in such sunshine as falls upon +grey-haired heads, was terrible to her. She was not like the Duchess +of Wellingborough. She was cursed with what was called in her set "a +temperament," and she did not know how to conquer it, did not dare, +even, to try to conquer it. + +She soon forgot Louis de Rocheouart, but his place was not long left +empty. She fell in love with another young man. + +Eventually--by this time she had almost ceased to struggle, was not +far from being a complete victim to her temperament--she seriously +considered the possibility of marrying again, and of marrying a man many +years younger than herself. Several women whom she knew had done this. +Why should not she do it? Such marriages seldom turned out well, seldom +lasted very long. But there were exceptions to every rule. Her marriage, +if she made it, might be an exception. She was now only forty-eight. +(She had reached the age when that qualifying word is applied to the +years.) Women older, much older, than herself, had married mere boys. +She did not intend to do that. But why should she not take a charming +man of, say, thirty into her life? + +The mere thought of having such a husband, such a companion in Number +18A, Berkeley Square, sent a glow through her mind and body. What a +flood of virility, anticipation, new strength, new interests he would +bring with him! She imagined his loud, careless step on the stairs, his +strong bass or baritone voice resounding in the rooms; she heard the +doors banged by his reckless hand; she saw his raincoats, his caps, his +golf clubs, his gun cases littering the hall. When she motored he would +be at the wheel instead of a detached and rigid-faced chauffeur, and he +would whirl her along, taking risk, all the time. + +But would he be able to love her? + +Her diffidence and her vanity fought over that question; fought +furiously, and with an ugly tenacity. It seemed that the vanity +conquered. For she resolved to make the trial. + +Many striking advantages were on her side. She could give any man a +magnificent social position, could take him into the heart of the great +world. Her husband, unless he were absolutely impossible--and of course +he would not be--would be welcomed everywhere because of her. She was +rich. She had unusual charm. She was quick witted, intelligent, well +read, full of tact and knowledge of the world. Surely she could be a +splendid companion, even a great aid, to any man of the least ambition. +And she was still very handsome--with difficulty. + +She and her Greek alone knew exactly how much trouble had to be taken to +keep her as she was when she went among people. + +She had not been able to do much with her mind. It seemed uncontrollable +by her. There was no harmony in her inner life. The diversities within +her were sharp, intense. In her kingdom of self there was perpetual +rebellion. And the disorder in her moral life had hastened the aging +process more even than she was aware of. Underneath the artificial +beauty of her appearance she was now older than her years. + +But she was still very handsome--with difficulty. + +She hardened herself after the fight and resolved that, if she chose, +she could still make almost any man love her. That she could easily +fascinate she knew. Most people were subject to her easy charm and to +the delightfully unaffected manner which no amount of vanity had ever +been able to rid her of. Surely the temporarily fascinated man might +easily be changed into the permanent lover! Fear assailed her certainly +when she thought of the danger of deliberately contrasting with her +maturity the vividness of youth. To do what she thought of doing would +be to run a great risk. When she had married Lord Sellingworth she had +provided herself with a foil to her beauty and to her comparative +youth. To marry a young man would be to make herself the foil. He would +emphasize her age by his lack of years. Could she dare it? + +Again she hardened herself and resolved that she would dare it. The +wildness in her came uppermost, rose to recklessness. After me the +deluge! She might not be happy long if she married a young husband, +but she might be happy for a time. The mere marriage would surely be a +triumph for her. And if she had three years, two years, even one year of +happiness, she would sing a _Laus Deo_ and let the deluge close over her +head. + +She began, in woman's quiet but penetrating way, to look about her. She +met many young men in the world, in fact nearly all the young eligible +men of the time. Many of them came to her house, for she often gave +parties to which she asked not only the "old guard" and the well-known +men of the day, but also the young married women. Now she began to give +small dances to which she asked pretty young girls. There was a ballroom +built out at the back of her house. It was often in use. The pretty +young girls began to say she was "a dear" to bother so much about them. +Dancing men voted her a thundering good hostess and a most good-natured +woman. In popularity she almost cut out the Duchess of Wellingborough, +who sometimes gave dances, too, for young people. + +Really through it all she was on the watch, was seeking the possible +husband. + +Presently she found the man with whom she could imagine being almost +desperately happy if he would only fall in with her hidden views. They +were so carefully hidden that not one of her friends, not one of the +"old guard," suspected that she had made up her mind to marry again and +to make what is universally called "a foolish marriage." + +His name was Rupert Louth, and he was the fourth son of an impecunious +but delightful peer, Lord Blyston. He was close upon thirty, and had +spent the greater part of his time, since his twentieth year, out of +England. He had ranched in Canada, and had also done something vague +of the outdoor kind in Texas. He had fought, and was a good man of his +hands. His health was splendid. He was as hard as nails in condition, +and as lively and ready as they make them. Many things he could do, but +one thing he had never been able to do. He had never been able to make +money. His gift lay rather in the direction of joyously spending it. +This gift distracted his father, who confided to Lady Sellingworth his +fears for the lad's--he would insist on calling Rupert the lad--for +the lad's future. Here he was back on the family's hands with expensive +tastes and no prospects whatever! + +"And he's always after the women, too!" said Lord Blyston, with admiring +despair. "He's been away from them so long there's no holding him." + +After a pause he added: + +"My dear Adela, if you want to do me a good turn find the lad a wife. +His poor mother's gone, or she would have done it. What he wants is a +wife who can manage him, with a decent amount of money." + +Without exactly saying so, Lady Sellingworth implied that she would see +what she could do for Rupert. + +From that moment Lord Blyston pushed "the lad" perpetually towards 18A +Berkeley Square. + +Rupert Louth was fair and very good-looking, reckless and full of go. +And wherever he went he carried with him an outdoor atmosphere. He cared +nothing for books, music, or intellectual pursuits. Nevertheless, he was +at home everywhere, and quite as much at ease in a woman's drawing-room +as rounding up cattle in Canada or lassooing wild horses in Texas. He +lived entirely and wholeheartedly for the day, and was a magnificent +specimen of dashing animal life; for certainly the animal predominated +in him. + +Lady Sellingworth fell in love with him--it really was like falling in +love each time--and resolved to marry him. A wonderful breath of manhood +and youth exhaled from "the lad" and almost intoxicated her. It called +to her wildness. It brought back to her the days when she had been a +magnificent girl, had shot over the moors, and had more than held her +own in the hunting field. After she had married Lord Sellingworth she +had given up shooting and hunting, had devoted herself more keenly +to the arts, to mental and purely social pursuits, to the opera, +the forming of a salon, to politics and to entertaining, than to the +physical pleasures which had formerly played such a prominent part in +her life. Since his death she had put down her horses. But now she began +to change her mode of living. She went with Rupert to Tattersalls, and +they picked up some good horses together. She began riding again, and +lent him a mount. She was perpetually at Hurlingham and Ranelagh, and +developed a passion for polo, which he played remarkably well. She +played lawn tennis at King's Club in the morning, and renewed her energy +at golf. + +Louth was really struck by her activity and competence, and said of her +that she was a damned good sport and as active as a cat. He also said +that there wasn't a country in the world that bred such wonderful old +women as England. This remark he made to his father, who rejoined that +Adela Sellingworth was not an old woman. + +"Well, she must be near fifty!" said his son. "And if that isn't old for +a woman where are we to look for it?" + +Lord Blyston replied that there were many women far older than Adela +Sellingworth, to which his son answered: + +"Anyhow, she's as active as a cat, so why don't you marry her?" + +"She's twenty years too young for me," said Lord Blyston. "I should bore +her to death." + +It had just occurred to him that Rupert could be very comfortable on +Lord Sellingworth's and Lord Manham's combined fortunes, though he +had no idea that Lady Sellingworth had ever thought of "the lad" as a +possible husband. + +Other people, however, noticed the new development in her life. + +Every morning quite early she was to be seen, perfectly mounted, +cantering in the Row, often with Rupert Louth beside her. Her +extraordinary interest in every branch of athletics was generally +remarked. She even went to boxing matches, and was persuaded to give +away prizes at a big meeting at Stamford Bridge. + +Although she never said a word about it to anyone, this sudden outburst +of intense bodily activity at her age presently began to tire, then +almost to exhaust her. The strain upon her was great, too great. +Whatever Rupert Louth did, he never turned a hair. But she was nearly +twenty years older than he was, and decidedly out of training. She +fought desperately against her physical fatigue, and showed a gay +face to the world. But a horrible conviction possessed her. She began +presently to feel certain that her effort to live up to Rupert Louth's +health and vigour was hastening the aging process in her body. By what +she was doing she was marring her chance of preserving into old age +the appearance of comparative youth. Sometimes at night, when all the +activities of the day were over and there was no prospect of seeing +Rupert again until, at earliest, the following morning, she felt +absolutely haggard with weariness of body--felt as she said to herself +with a shudder, like an old hag. But she could not give up, could not +rest, for Rupert expected of everyone who was not definitely laid on +the shelf inexhaustible energy, tireless vitality. His own perpetual +freshness was a marvel, and fascinated Lady Sellingworth. To be with him +was like being with eternal youth, and made her long for her own lost +youth with an ache of desperation. But to act being young is hideously +different from being actually young. She acted astonishingly well, but +she paid for every moment of the travesty, and Rupert never noticed, +never had the least suspicion of all she was going through on account of +him. + +To him she was merely a magnificently hospitable pal of his father's, +who took a kindly interest in him. He found her capital company. He, +like everyone else, felt her easy fascination, enjoyed being with her. +But, like Rocheouart of the past days, he never thought of her as a +possible lover. Nor did it ever occur to him that she was thinking of +him as a possible husband. He always wanted, and generally managed to +have a splendid time; and he was quite willing to be petted and spoilt +and made much of; but he was not, under a mask of carelessness, a +cold and persistent egoist. He really was just what he seemed to be, a +light-hearted, rather uproarious, and very healthy young man, intent on +enjoying himself, and recklessly indifferent to the future. He was +quite willing to eat Lady Sellingworth's excellent dinners, to ride her +spirited horses, to sit in her opera box and look at pretty women while +others listened to music, but it never occurred to him that it would be +the act of a wise man to try to put her fortune into his own pocket at +the price of marrying her. + +His lack of self-interest, which she divined, charmed Lady Sellingworth; +on the other hand, she was tormented by his detachment from her, by +his lack of all vision of the truth of the situation. And she was +perpetually tortured by jealousy. + +Before she had been in love with Rupert she had often felt jealous. All +women of her temperament are subject to jealousy, and all middle-aged +people who worship youth unsuitably have felt its sting. But she had +never before known jealousy as she knew it now. + +Although she was so often with Rupert she was more often not with him. +He made no pretences of virtue to her or to anyone else. He was a cheery +Pagan, a good sport and--no doubt--a devil among the women. Being +a thorough gentleman he never talked, as some vulgar men do, of his +conquests. But Lady Sellingworth knew that his silence probably covered +a multitude of sins. And her ignorance of the greater part of his life +often ravaged her. + +What was he doing when he was not with her? Who was he making love to? + +His name was not specially connected with that of any girl whom she knew +in society. But she had reason to know that he spent a lot of his time +out of society in circles to which she had never penetrated. Doubtless +he met quantities of women whose names she had never heard of, unknown +women of the stage, women who went to night clubs, women of the curious +world which floats between the aristocracy and the respectable middle +classes, which is as well dressed as the one and greedier even than +the other, which seems always to have unlimited money, and which, +nevertheless, has often no visible means of subsistence. + +She lay awake often, when she badly needed sleep, wondering where Rupert +was and what he was doing. + +Jealousy, combined with unnatural physical exertion, and the perpetual +endeavour to throw round her an atmosphere of youth, energy and +unceasing cheerfulness, wrought havoc in Lady Sellingworth. Her +appearance began to deteriorate. Deeper lines became visible near her +eyes, and the light of those eyes was feverish. Her nerves began to go +to pieces. Restlessness increased upon her. She was scarcely able to +keep still for a moment. The more she needed repose the more incapable +of repose she became. The effort to seem younger, gayer, stronger than +she was became at last almost convulsive. Her social art was tarnished. +The mechanism began to be visible. + +People noticed the change in her and began to discuss it, and more than +one of the "old guard" hit upon the reason of it. It became subtly known +and whispered about that Adela Sellingworth was desperately in love with +Rupert Louth. Several of her friends hinted at their knowledge to Lady +Sellingworth, and she was forced to laugh at the idea as absurd, knowing +that her laughter would serve no good end. These experienced women +knew. Impossible to deceive them about a thing of that kind! They were +mercilessly capable in detecting a hidden passion in one of their body. +Their intrigues and loves were usually common property, known to, and +frankly discussed by them all. + +Lady Sellingworth presently had the satisfaction of knowing that the +whole of the "old guard" was talking about her passion for Rupert Louth. +This fact drove her to a hard decision which was not natural to her. +She wanted to marry Rupert because she was in love with him. But now +she felt she must marry him to save her own pride before her merciless +fellow-women. She decided that the time had come when she must trample +on her own delicacy and prove that she still possessed the power of a +conqueror. Otherwise she would be laughed at by the greater part of the +society in which she usually lived. + +She resolved to open Rupert Louth's eyes and to make him understand that +she and all she stood for were at his disposal. She knew he was up to +the eyes in debt. She knew he had no prospects. Lord Blyston had no +money to give him, and was for ever in difficulties himself. It was a +critical moment for Louth, and a critical moment for her. Their marriage +would smooth out the whole situation, would set him free from all money +miseries, and her from greater miseries still--torments of desire, and +the horror of being laughed at or pitied by her set. And in any case she +felt that the time had arrived when she must do something drastic; must +either achieve or frankly and definitely give up. She knew that she was +nearing the end of her tether. She could not much longer keep up the +brilliant pretence of being an untiring Amazon crammed full of the joie +de vivre which she had assumed for the purpose of winning Rupert Louth +as a husband. Her powers of persistence were rapidly waning. Only will +drove her along, in defiance of the warnings and protests of her body. +But the untiring Amazon was cracking up, to use a favourite expression +of Louth's. Soon the weary, middle-aged woman must claim her miserable +rights: the right to be tired occasionally, the right to "slack off" +at certain hours of the day, the right to find certain things neither +suitable nor amusing to her, the right, in fact, to be now and then a +middle-aged woman. Certainly something in her said to Lady Sellingworth: +"In your marriage, if you marry, you will have to act even better, even +more strenuously, than you are acting now. Being in love as you are, you +will never be able to dare to be your true self. Your whole married life +will be a perpetual throwing of dust in the eyes of your husband. To +keep him you will have to live backwards, or to try to live backwards, +all the time. If you are tired now, what will you be then?" And she knew +that the voice was speaking the truth. Her imp, too, was watching +her closely and with an ugly intensity of irony as she approached her +decision. + +Nevertheless, she defied him; she defied the voice within her, and took +it. She said to herself, or her worn nervous system said to her, that +there was nothing else to be done. In her fatigue of body and nerves she +felt reckless as only the nearly worn out feel. Something--she didn't +know what--had cast the die for her. It was her fate to open Rupert +Louth's eyes, to make him see; it was her fate to force her will into +a last strong spasm. She would not look farther than the day. She would +not contemplate her married life imaginatively, held in contemplation, +like a victim, by the icy hands of reason. She would kick reason out, +harden herself, give her wildness free play, and act, concentrating +on the present with all the force of which her diseased nerves were +capable. + +Instead of thinking just then "after me the deluge," her thought was +"after my marriage to Rupert Louth the deluge." She would, she must, +make him her husband. It would be perhaps the last assertion of her +power. She knew enough of men to know that such an assertion might well +be followed by disaster. But she was prepared to brave any disaster +except one, the losing of Louth and the subsequent ironical amusement of +the "old guard." + +Two or three days later Louth called, mounted on one of her horses, to +take her for a ride in the park. + +During the previous night Lady Sellingworth had scarcely slept at all. +She had got up feeling desperately nervous and almost lightheaded. On +looking in the glass she had been shocked at her appearance, but she had +managed to alter that considerably, although not so completely as she +wished. Depression, following inevitably on insomnia, had fixed its +claws in her. She felt deadly, almost terrible, and as if her face must +be showing plainly the ugliness of her mental condition. For she +seemed to have lost control over it. The facial muscles seemed to have +hardened, to have become fixed. When the servant came to tell her that +Louth and the horses were at the door she was almost afraid to go down, +lest he should see at once in her face the strong will power which she +had summoned up; as a weapon in this crisis of her life. + +As she went slowly downstairs she forced herself to smile. The smile +came with difficulty, but it came, and when she met Louth he did not +seem to notice any peculiarity in her. But, to tell the truth, he +scarcely seemed to notice her at all with any particularity. For her +strange and abnormal pre-occupation was matched by a like pre-occupation +in him. He took off his hat, bade her good morning, and helped her +skilfully to mount. But she saw at once that he was not as usual. His +face was grave and looked almost thoughtful. The merry light had gone +out of his eyes. And, strangest phenomenon of all, he was tongue-tied. +They started away from the house, and rode through Mayfair towards the +park in absolute silence. + +She began to wonder very much what was the matter with Rupert, and +guessed that he had "come an awful cropper" of some kind. It must +certainly be an exceptional cropper to cloud his spirit. Perhaps he had +lost a really large sum of money, or perhaps he--The thought of a woman +came suddenly to her, she did not know why. Suspicion, jealousy woke +in her. She glanced sideways at Rupert under her hard hat. He looked +splendid on horseback, handsomer even than when he was on foot. For he +was that rare thing, a really perfect horseman. His appearance disarmed +her. She longed to do something for him, by some act of glowing +generosity to win him completely. But they were still in the streets, +and she said nothing. Directly they turned into the green quietude of +the park, however, she yielded to her impulse and spoke, and asked him +bluntly what was the matter. + +He did not fence with her. Fencing was not easy to him. He turned in +the saddle, faced her, and told her that he had made a damned fool of +himself. Still bent on generosity, on being more than a friend to him, +she asked him to tell her how. His reply almost stunned her. A fortnight +previously he had secretly married a Miss Willoughby--really a Miss +Bertha Crouch, and quite possibly of Crouch End--who was appearing in +a piece at the Alhambra Theatre, but who had not yet arrived at the +dignity of a "speaking part." This young lady, it seemed, had already +"landed" Louth in expenses which he didn't know how to meet. What was he +to do? She was the loveliest thing on earth, but she was accustomed to +living in unbridled luxury. In fact she wanted the earth, and he was +longing to give it to her. But how? Where could he possibly get hold +of enough money for the purchase of the earth on behalf of Miss Bertha +Crouch--now Willoughby, or, rather, now the Hon. Mrs. Rupert Louth? +His face softened, his manner grew almost boyishly eager, as he poured +confidences into Lady Sellingworth's ears. She was his one real friend! +She was a woman of the world. She had lived ever so much longer than he +had and knew five times as much. What would she advise? Might he bring +little Bertha to see her? Bertha was really the most splendid little +sort, although naturally she wanted to have the things other women +had--etc., etc. + + + +When she got home that day Lady Sellingworth almost crumbled. By a +supreme effort during the rest of the ride she had managed to conceal +the fact that she had received a blow over the heart. The pride on which +she had been intending to trample when she came downstairs that morning +had come to her aid in that difficult moment. The woman of the world +had, as Louth would have said, "come up to the scratch." But when she +was alone she gave way to an access of furious despair; and, shut up in +her bedroom behind locked doors, was just a savage human being who had +been horribly wounded, and who was unable to take any revenge for the +wound. She would not take any revenge, because she was not the sort +of woman who could go quite into the gutter. And she knew even in her +writhings of despair that Rupert Louth would go scot free. She would +never try to punish him for what he had done to her: and he would never +know he had done it, unless one of the "old guard" told him. + +It was when she thought of the "old guard" that Lady Sellingworth almost +crumbled, almost went to pieces. For she knew that whatever she did, or +left undone, she would never succeed in deceiving its members. She would +not have been deceived herself if circumstances had been changed, if +another woman had been in her situation and she had been an onlooker. +"They" would all know. + +For a moment she thought of flight. + +But this episode ended in the usual way; it ended in the usual effort of +the poor human being to safeguard the sacred things by deception. Lady +Sellingworth somehow--how do human beings achieve such efforts?--pulled +herself together and gave herself to pretence. She pretended to Louth +that she was his best friend and had never thought of being anything +else. She was the receptacle for the cascade of his confidences. She +swore to help him in any way she could. Even after she received +"the Crouch," once Willoughby and still Willoughby to the "nuts" who +frequented the stalls of the Alhambra. She received that tall and +voluptuous young woman, with her haughty face and her disdainful airs, +and she bore with her horrible proprietorship of Louth. And finally she +broke it to Lord Blyston at Rupert's earnest request. + +That should have been her supreme effort. But it was not. There was no +rest in pretence. As soon as Lord Blyston knew, everyone knew, including +the "old guard." And then, of course, Lady Sellingworth's energies had +all to be called into full play. + +It was no wonder if underneath the cleverness of her Greek she aged +rapidly, more rapidly than was natural in a woman of her years. For she +had piled effort on effort. She had been young for Rupert Louth until +she had been physically exhausted; and then she had been old for him +until she was mentally exhausted. The hardy Amazon had been forced +to change in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, into the calm and +middle-aged adviser of hot passioned youth, into the steady unselfish +confidante, into the breaker of untoward news to the venerable +parent--in fact, into Mother Hubbard, as Lady Sellingworth more than +once desperately told herself. + +"Mother Hubbard! Mother Hubbard! I'm just Mother Hubbard to him and to +that horrible girl!" + +And she saw herself as Mother Hubbard, a "dame." And she alone knew +how absolutely bare her cupboard was at that time. But she struggled on +magnificently, taking no rest; she faced the "old guard" with splendid +courage, in fact with such courage that most of them pretended to +be deceived, and perhaps--for is not everything possible in this +life?--perhaps two or three of them really were deceived. + +The Duchess of Wellingborough said often at this time: "Addie +Sellingworth has the stuff in her of a leader of forlorn hopes!" + +Lord Blyston paid up for "the Crouch," once Willoughby, who had now +left the Alhambra disconsolate. He paid up by selling the only estate +he still possessed, and letting his one remaining country house to an +extraordinarily vulgar manufacturer from the Midlands, who did not +know a Turner from a Velasquez until he was told. And for the time "the +Crouch" was as satisfied as a woman of her type can ever be. + +Time passed on. Lady Sellingworth went about everywhere with a smiling +carefully-made-up face and a heart full of dust and ashes. + +But even then she could not make up her mind finally to abandon all +pretence of youth, all hope of youth's distractions, pleasures, even +joys. She had a terribly obstinate nature, it seemed, a terribly strong +lust after life. + +Even her imp could not lash her into acceptance of the inevitable, could +not drive her with his thongs of irony into the dignity which only comes +when the human being knows how to give up, and when. + +But what the imp could not achieve was eventually achieved by a man, +whose name Lady Sellingworth did not know. + +This was how it happened. + +One day when Lady Sellingworth was walking down Bond Street--it was +in the morning and she was with the Duchess of Wellingborough--an +extraordinarily handsome young man, whom neither of them knew, met them +and passed by. He was tall, brown skinned, with soft, very intelligent +brown eyes, and strong, manly and splendidly cut features. His thick +brown hair was brushed, his little brown moustache was cut, like a +Guardsman's. But he was certainly not a Guardsman. He was not even +an Englishman, although he was dressed in a smart country suit made +evidently by a first-rate London tailor. There was something faintly +exotic about his eyes, and his way of holding himself and moving, which +suggested to Lady Sellingworth either Spain or South America. She was +not quite sure which. He gave her a long look as he went by, and she +felt positive that he turned to glance after her when he had passed her. +But this she never knew, as naturally she did not turn her head. + +"What an extraordinarily good-looking man that was!" said the Duchess +of Wellingborough. "I wonder who he is. If--," and she mentioned a +well-known Spanish duke, "had a brother that might be the man. Do you +know who he is?" + +"No," said Lady Sellingworth. + +"Well, he must know who you are." + +"Why?" + +"He seemed deeply interested in you." + +Lady Sellingworth wanted to say that a young man might possibly be +deeply interested in her without knowing who she was. But she did not +say it. It was not worth while. And she knew the duchess had not meant +to be ill-mannered. + +She lunched with the duchess that day in Grosvenor Square, and met +several of the "old guard" whom she knew very well, disastrously well. +After lunch the duchess alluded to the brown man they had met in Bond +Street, described him minutely, and asked if anyone knew him. Nobody +knew him. But after the description everyone wanted to know him. It was +generally supposed that he must be one of the strangers from distant +countries who are perpetually flocking to London. + +"We shall probably all know him in a week or two," said someone. "A man +of that type is certain to have brought introductions." + +"If he has brought one for Adela I'm sure he'll deliver that first," +said the duchess, with her usual almost boisterous good humour. + +And thereupon she told the "old guard" of the stranger's evident +interest in Lady Sellingworth. + +Although she completely concealed it, Lady Sellingworth felt decided +interest in the brown man. The truth was that his long and ardent--yet +somehow not impudently ardent--look at her had stirred the dust and +ashes in her heart. It was as if a little of the dust rose and floated +away, as if some of the ashes crumbled into a faint grey powder which +was almost nothingness. + +At that moment she was in the dangerous mood when a woman of her type +will give herself to almost any distraction which promises a possible +adventure, or which holds any food for her almost starving vanity. Her +love--or was it really lust--for Rupert Louth still ravaged her. The +thought of "the Crouch's" triumph still persecuted her mind. Terrible +pictures of a happiness she had no share in still made every night +hideous to her. She longed for Rupert Louth, but she longed also to be +reinstated in her self-esteem. That glance of a stranger had helped her. +She asked herself whether a man of that type, young, amazingly handsome, +would ever send such a glance to Mother Hubbard. Suddenly she felt +safer, as if she could hold up her head once more. Really she had always +held it up, but to herself, since Louth's blunt confession, she had been +a woman bowed down, old, done with, a thing fit for the scrap heap. +Now a slight, almost trembling sensation of returning self-esteem stole +through her. She could not have been mistaken about the brown man's +interest in her, for the Duchess of Wellingborough had specially +noticed it. She wondered who he was, whether he really had brought +introductions, where he was staying, whether he would presently appear +in her set. His brown eyes were gentle and yet enterprising. He looked +like a sportsman, she thought, and yet as if he were more intellectual, +more subtle than Louth. There seemed to be a slight thread of sympathy +between her and him! She had felt it immediately when they had met in +Bond Street. She wondered whether he had felt it too. + +In all probability if Lady Sellingworth had been in a thoroughly normal +condition at this time she would not have thought twice about such a +trifling episode as a stranger's glance at her in the street. But she +was not in a normal condition. She was the prey of acute depression +and morbidity. Life was becoming hideous to her. She exaggerated her +loneliness in the midst of society. She had mentally constructed for +herself a new life with Louth as her husband. Imaginatively she had +lived that life until it had become strangely familiar to her, as an +imagined life can become to a highly strung woman. The abrupt and brutal +withdrawal of all possibility of it as a reality had made the solitude +of her widowhood seem suddenly terrible, unnatural, a sort of nightmare. +She had moments of desperation in which she said to herself, "This +cannot go on. I can't live alone any more or I shall go mad." In such +moments she sometimes thought of rewarding Sir Seymour Portman's long +fidelity. But something in her, something imperious, shrank at the +thought. She did not want to marry an elderly man. + +And yet it seemed that no young man would ever want to marry her. + +She shuddered before the mysteries of the flesh. Often she was shaken by +a storm of self-pity. Darkness yawned before her. And she still longed, +as she thought no other woman could ever have longed, for happiness, +companionship, a virile affection. + +For some days she did not see the stranger again, although she was +several times in Bond Street. She began to think, to fear, he had +left London; yes--to fear! It had come to that! Realizing it, she felt +humiliation. But his eyes had seemed to tell her that she possessed for +him great attraction! She longed to see those eyes again, to decipher +their message more carefully. The exact meaning of it might have escaped +her in that brief instant of encounter. She wondered whether the young +man had known who she was, or whether he had merely been suddenly struck +by her appearance, and had thought, "I wish I knew that woman." She +wondered what exactly was his social status. No doubt if he had been +English she could have "placed" him at once, or if he had been French. +But he was neither the one nor the other. And she had had little time +to make up her mind about him, although, of course, his good looks had +leaped to the eye. + +She had begun to think that Destiny had decided against another +encounter between her and this man when one day Seymour Portman asked +her to lunch with him at the Carlton. She accepted and went into the +restaurant at the appointed time. It was crowded with people, many of +whom she knew, but one table near that allotted to the general's +party had two empty chairs before it. On it was a card with the word +"Reserved." Soon after the general's guests had begun to lunch, when +Lady Sellingworth was in the full flow of conversation with her host, by +whose side she was sitting, and with a hunting peer whom she had known +all her life, and who sat on her other side, two people made their way +to the table near by and sat down in the empty chairs. One was an old +woman in a coal-black wig, with a white face and faded eyes, rather +vague and dull in appearance, but well dressed and quietly self-assured, +the other was the man Lady Sellingworth had met in Bond Street. He took +the chair which was nearly opposite to her; but whether deliberately +or by accident she had no time to notice. He did not look at her for +several minutes after sitting down. He was apparently busy ordering +lunch, consulting with a waiter, and speaking to his old companion, +whose coal-black wig made a rather strange contrast with her lined white +cheeks and curiously indefinite eyes. But presently, with a sort of +strong deliberation, his gaze was turned on Lady Sellingworth, and she +knew at once that he had seen her when he came in. She met his gaze +for an instant, and this time seemed to be definitely aware of some +mysterious thread of sympathy between her and him. Sir Seymour spoke to +her in his quiet, rather deep voice, and she turned towards him, and as +she did so she felt she knew, as she had never known before, that she +could never marry him, that something in her that was of her essence was +irrevocably dedicated to youth and the beauty of youth, which is like +no other beauty. The wildness of her which did not die, which probably +would never die, was capable of trampling over Sir Seymour's fidelity to +get to unstable, selfish and careless youth, was capable of casting away +his fidelity for the infidelity of youth. As she met her host's grave +eyes, she sentenced him in her heart to eternal watching at her gate. +She could not, she never would be able to, let him into the secret room +where she was really at home. + +During lunch she now and then glanced towards the old woman and the +stranger. They evidently knew no one, for no one took any notice of +them, and they did not seem to be on the look out for acquaintances. +Many people passed by them, entering and leaving the restaurant, but +there were no glances of recognition, no greetings. Only some of the +women looked at the young man as if struck, or almost startled, by +his good looks. Certainly he was amazingly handsome. His brown skin +suggested the sun; his figure athletic exercises; the expression of his +face audacity and complete self-possession. Yet there was in his large +eyes a look of almost appealing gentleness, as if he were seeking +something, some sympathy, some affection, perhaps, which he needed and +had never yet found. Several times when she glanced towards him with +careful casualness, Lady Sellingworth found his eyes fixed upon her with +this no doubt unconsciously appealing expression in them. She knew that +this man recognized her as the woman he had met in Bond Street. She felt +positive that for some reason he was intent upon her, that he was deeply +interested in her. For what reason? Her woman's vanity, leaping eagerly +up like a flame that had been damped down for a time but that now was +being coaxed into bright burning, told her that there could be only one +reason. Why is a handsome young man interested in a woman whom he +does not know and has only met casually in the street? The mysterious +attraction of sex supplied, Lady Sellingworth thought, the only possible +answer. She had not been able to attract Rupert Louth, but she attracted +this man, strongly, romantically, perhaps. The knowledge--for it seemed +like knowledge, though it was really only surmise--warmed her whole +nature. She felt again the delicious conquering sensation which she had +lost. She emerged out of humiliation. Her vivacity grew as the lunch +progressed. Suddenly she felt good-looking, fascinating, even brilliant. +The horrible dreariness of life had departed from her, driven away by +the look in a stranger's eyes. + +Towards the end of lunch the woman on Sir Seymour's other side said to +him: + +"Do you know who that man is--the young man opposite to that funny South +American-looking old woman with the black wig?" + +Sir Seymour looked for a moment at the brown man with his cool, direct, +summing-up, soldier's eyes. + +"No," he answered. "I've never set eyes on him before." + +"I think he is the best-looking man I have ever seen," said the woman. + +"No doubt--very good-looking, very good-looking!" said her host; "but on +the wrong side of the line, I should say." + +"The wrong side of the line? What do you mean?" + +"The shady side," said Sir Seymour. + +And then he turned to speak to Lady Sellingworth. + +She had overheard the conversation, and felt suddenly angry with him. +But she concealed her vexation and merely said to herself that men are +as jealous of each other as women are jealous, that a man cannot bear +to hear another man praised by a woman. Possibly--she was not sure of +this--possibly Sir Seymour had noticed that she was interested in the +stranger. He was very sharp in all matters connected with her. His +affection increased his natural acuteness. She resolved to be very +careful, even very deceptive. And she said: + +"Isn't it odd how good looks, good manners and perfect clothes, even +combined with charm, cannot conceal the fact that a man is an outsider?" + +"Ah, you agree with me!" Sir Seymour said, looking suddenly pleased. +"That's good! Men and women are seldom at one on such matters." + +Lady Sellingworth shot a glance at the man discussed and felt absurdly +like a traitor. + +Soon afterwards Sir Seymour's lunch party broke up. + +In leaving the restaurant Lady Sellingworth passed so close to the young +man that her gown almost brushed against him. He looked up at her, and +this time the meaning of his glance was unmistakable. It said: "I want +to know you. How can I get to know you?" + +She went home feeling almost excited. On the hall table of her house she +found a note from Rupert Louth asking her whether she would help "little +Bertha" by speaking up for her to a certain great dressmaker, who +had apparently been informed of the Louths' shaky finances. Louth's +obstinate reliance on her as a devoted friend of him and his +disdainfully vulgar young wife began to irritate Lady Sellingworth +almost beyond endurance. She took the letter up with her into the +drawing-room, and sat down by the writing-table holding it in her hand. +It had come at a dangerous moment. + +Louth's blindness now exasperated her, although she had desperately done +her best to close his eyes to the real nature of her feeling for him and +to the unexpressed intentions she had formed concerning him and had been +forced to abandon. It was maddening to be tacitly rejected as a possible +wife and to be enthusiastically claimed as a self-sacrificing friend. +Surely no woman born of woman could be expected to stand it. At that +moment Lady Sellingworth began almost to hate Rupert Louth. + +What a contrast there was between his gross misunderstanding of her and +the brown man's understanding! Already she began to tell herself that +this man who did not know her nevertheless in some subtle, almost +occult, way had a clear understanding of her present need. He wanted +sympathy--his eyes said that--but he had sympathy to give. She began +to hate the controlling absurdities of civilization. All her wildness +seemed to rise up and rush to the surface. How inhuman, how against +nature it was, that two human beings who wished to know each other +should be held back from such knowledge by mere convention, by the +unwritten law of the solemn and formal introduction! A great happiness +might lie in their intercourse, but conventionality solemnly and +selfishly forbade it, unless they could find a common acquaintance to +mumble a few unmeaning words over them. Mumbo-Jumbo! What a fantastic +world of stupidly obedient puppets this world of London was! She said to +herself that she hated it. Then she thought of her first widowhood and +of her curious year in Paris. + +There she might more easily have made the acquaintance of the unknown +man in some Bohemian cafe, where people talked to each other casually, +giving way to their natural impulses, drifting in and out as the whim +took them, careless of the _convenances_ or actively despising them. In +London, at any rate if one is English and cursed by being well +known, one lives in a strait waist-coat. Lady Sellingworth felt the +impossibility of speaking to a stranger without an introduction in spite +of her secret wildness. + +And if he spoke to her? + +She remembered Sir Seymour's instant judgment on him. It had made her +feel very angry at the time when it was delivered, but then she had not +held any mental debate about it. She had simply been secretly up in +arms against an attack on the man she was interested in. Now she thought +about it more seriously. + +Although she had never been able to love Sir Seymour, she esteemed him +very highly and valued his friendship very much. She also respected +his intellect and his character. He was not a petty man, but an +honest, brave and far-seeing man of the world. Such a man's opinion was +certainly worth something. One could not put it aside as if it were the +opinion of a fool. And after a brief glance at the stranger Sir Seymour +had unhesitatingly pronounced him to be an outsider. + +Was he an outsider? + +As a rule Lady Sellingworth was swift in deciding what was the social +status of a man. She could "place" a man as quickly as any woman. But, +honestly, she could not make up her mind about the stranger. Although +he was so exceptionally good-looking, perhaps, he was not exactly +distinguished looking. But she had known dukes and Cabinet Ministers +who resembled farmers and butlers, young men of high rank who had the +appearance of grooms or bookies. It was difficult to be sure about +anyone without personal knowledge of him. + +When she had first seen the young man in Bond Street it had certainly +not occurred to her that there was anything common or shady in his +appearance. And the Duchess of Wellingborough had not hinted that she +held such an opinion about him. And surely women are quicker about such +matters than men. + +Lady Sellingworth decided that Seymour Portman was prejudiced. Old +courtiers are apt to be prejudiced. Always mixing with the most +distinguished men of their time, they acquire, perhaps too easily, a +habit of looking down upon ordinary but quite respectable people. + +Here Lady Sellingworth suddenly smiled. The adjective "respectable" +certainly did not fit the Bond Street young man. He looked slightly +exotic! That, no doubt, had set Sir Seymour against him. He was not of +the usual type of club man. He "intrigued" her terribly. As the Duchess +of Wellingborough would have phrased it, she was "crazy" to know him. +She even said to herself that she did not care whether he was on the +shady side of the line or not. Abruptly a strong democratic feeling took +possession of her. In the affections, in the passions, differences of +rank did not count. + +Rupert Louth had married a Crouch! + +Lady Sellingworth looked at his note which was still in her hand, and +memories of the disdainful young beauty "queening it"--that really was +the only appropriate expression--"queening it" with vulgar gentility +among the simple mannered, well-bred people to whom Louth belonged rose +up in her mind. How terrible were those definite airs of being a lady! +How truly unspeakable were those august condescensions of the undeniable +Crouch! + +When Lady Sellingworth mused on them her sense of the equality before +God of all human creatures decidedly weakened. + +She wrote a brief letter to Louth declining to "speak up" to the great +dressmaker. "Little Bertha" must manage without her aid. She made this +quite clear, but she wrote very charmingly, and sent her love at the end +to little Bertha. That done, almost violently she dismissed Louth and +his wife from her mind and became democratic again! + +Putting Louth and little Bertha aside, when it came to the affections +and the passions what could one be but just a human being? Rank did not +count when the heart was awake. She felt intensely human just then. And +she continued to feel so. Life was quickened for her by the presence in +London of a stranger whom nobody knew. This might be a humiliating fact. +But how many facts connected with human beings if sternly considered are +humiliating! + +And nobody knew of her fact. + +Every morning at this time she woke up with the hope of a little +adventure during the day. When she went out she was alive to the +possibility of a new encounter with the unknown man. And she met him +several times, walking about town, sometimes alone, sometimes with the +old lady, and once with another man, a thin sallow individual who looked +like a Frenchman. And each time he sent her a glance which seemed almost +to implore her to know him. + +But how could she know him? She never met him in society. Evidently he +knew no one whom she knew. She began to be intensely irritated by her +leaping desire which was constantly thwarted. That this man was in love +with her and longing to know her she now firmly believed. She wished to +know him. She wished it more than she wished for anything else in the +world just then. But the gulf of conventionality yawned between them, +and there seemed no likelihood of its ever being bridged. Sometimes she +condemned the man for not being adventurous, for not taking his courage +in both hands and speaking to her without an introduction. At other +times she told herself that his not doing this proved him to be a +gentleman, in spite of what Sir Seymour Portman had thought him. In +defiance of his longing to know her he would not insult her. + +But if he only knew how she was pining for the insult! + +And yet if he had spoke to her perhaps she would have been angry. + +She discovered eventually that he was staying at the Carlton Hotel, +for one day on her way to the restaurant she saw him with a key in his +hand--evidently the key of his room. That same day she heard him speak +for the first time. After lunch, when she was in the Palm Court, he +came and stood quite close to where she was sitting. The thin, sallow +individual was with him. They lighted cigars and looked about them. And +presently she heard them talking in French. The thin man said something +which she did not catch. In reply the other said, speaking very +distinctly, almost loudly: + +"I shall go over to Paris on Thursday morning next. I shall stay at the +Ritz Hotel." + +That was all Lady Sellingworth heard. He had intended her to hear it. +She was certain of that. For immediately afterwards he glanced at her +and then moved away, like a man who has carried out an intention and can +relax and be idle. He sat down by a table a little way off, and a waiter +brought coffee for him and his companion. + +His voice, when he spoke the few words, had sounded agreeable. His +French was excellent, but he had a slight foreign accent which Lady +Sellingworth at once detected. + +Paris! He was going to Paris on Thursday! + +She was quite positive that he had wished her to know that. Why? + +There could be only one reason. She guessed that he had become as +fiercely irritated by their situation as she was, that he was tempting +her to break away and to do something definite, that he wanted her to +leave London. She still had her apartment in Paris. Could he know that? +Could he have seen her in Paris without her knowledge and have followed +her to London? + +She began to feel really excited, and there was something almost +youthful in her excitement. Yet she was on the eve of a horrible +passing. For that day was her last day in the forties. On the following +morning she would wake up a woman of fifty. + +While the two men were still having their coffee Lady Sellingworth and +her friend got up to go away. As her tall figure disappeared the brown +man whispered something to his companion and they both smiled. Then they +continued talking in very low voices, and not in French. + +Paris! All the rest of that day Lady Sellingworth thought about Paris! +Already it stood for a great deal in her life. Was it perhaps going to +stand for much more? In Paris long ago--she wished it were not so +long ago--she had tasted a curious freedom, had given herself to her +wildness, had enlarged her boundaries. And now Paris called her again, +called her through the voice of this man whom she did not yet know. + +Deliberately that day he had summoned her to Paris. She had no doubt +about that. And if she went? He must have some quite definite intention +connected with his wish for her to go. It could only be a romantic +intention. + +And yet to-morrow she would be fifty! + +He was quite young. He could not be more than five-and-twenty. + +For a moment her imp spoke loudly in her ear. He told her that by this +time she must have learnt her lesson, that it was useless to pretend +that she had not, that Rupert Louth's marriage had taught her all that +she needed to know, and that now she must realize that the time for +adventures, for romance, for the secret indulgence of the passions, was +in her case irrevocably over. "Fifty! Fifty! Fifty!" he knelled in her +ears. And there were obscure voices within her which backed him up, +faintly, as if half afraid, agreeing with him. + +She listened. She could not help listening, though she hated it. And for +a moment she was almost inclined to submit to the irony of the imp, to +trample upon her desire, and to grasp hands once and for all with her +self-respect. + +The imp said to her: "If you go to Paris you will be making a fool +of yourself. That man doesn't really want you to go. He is only a +mischievous boy amusing himself at your expense. Perhaps he has made a +bet with that friend of his that you will cross on the same day that +he does. You are far too old for adventures. Look in the glass and see +yourself as you really are. Remember your folly with Rupert Louth, and +this time try to be wise." + +But something else in her, the persistent vanity, perhaps, of a once +very beautiful woman, told her that her attraction was not dead, and +that if she obeyed her imp she would simply be throwing away the chance +of a great joy. Once again her thoughts went to marriage. Once again +she dreamed of a young man falling romantically in love with her, and +of taking him into her life, and of making his life wonderful by her +influence and her connexions. + +Once again she was driven by her wildness. + +The end of it was that she summoned her maid and told her that they were +going over to Paris for a few days on the following Thursday. The maid +was not surprised. She supposed that my lady wanted some new gowns. She +asked, and was told, what to pack. + +Now Lady Sellingworth, as all her friends and many others knew, +possessed an extremely valuable collection of jewels, and seldom, or +never, moved far without taking a part of the collection with her. She +loved jewels, and usually wore them in the evening, and as she was often +seen in public--at the opera and elsewhere--her diamonds, emeralds, +sapphires and pearls had often been admired, and perhaps longed for, by +strangers. + +When she went to Paris on this occasion she took a jewel-case with her. +In it there were perhaps fifty thousand pounds' worth of gems. Her +maid, a woman who had been with her for years, was in charge of the +case except when Lady Sellingworth was actually in the train. Then Lady +Sellingworth had it with her in a reserved first-class carriage for the +whole of which she paid. + +The journey was not eventful. But to Lady Sellingworth it was an +adventure. + +The brown man was on the train with his thin, sardonic friend, and with +the old woman Lady Sellingworth had seen with him in London. + +The sight of this party--she saw them stepping into the Pullman car as +she was going to her reserved carriage--surprised her. She had expected +that the stranger would travel alone. As she sat down in her corner +facing the engine, with the jewel-case on the seat next to her, she felt +an obscure irritation. A man in search of adventure does not usually +take two people--one of them an old woman in a black wig--with him when +he sets out on his travels. A trio banishes romance. And how can a woman +be thrilled by a family party? + +For a moment Lady Sellingworth felt anger against the stranger. For a +moment she wished she had not undertaken the journey. It occurred to her +that perhaps she had made a humiliating mistake when she thought that +the brown man wished, and intended, her to go to Paris because he was +going. Her pride was alarmed. She saw plainly for a moment the mud into +which vanity had led her, and she longed to get out of the train and +to remain in London. But how could she account to her maid for such a +sudden change of plans? What could she say to her household? She +knew, of course, that she owed them no explanation. But still--and her +friends? She had told everybody that she was going to Paris. They would +think her crazy for giving up the journey after she was actually in the +train. And she had seen two or three acquaintances on the platform. No; +she must make the journey now. It was too late to give it up. But she +wished intensely she had not undertaken it. + +At the moment of this wish of hers, coming from the Pullman, the brown +man walked slowly by on the platform, alone. His eyes were searching the +train with keen attention. But Lady Sellingworth happened to be leaning +back, and he did not see her. She knew he was looking for her. He went +on out of her sight. She sat still in her corner, and presently saw +him coming back. This time he saw her, and did something which for +the moment startled her. On the window of the carriage, next the seat +opposite to hers, was pasted a label with "Reserved" printed on it in +big letters. Underneath was written: "For the Countess of Sellingworth." +When the man saw Lady Sellingworth in her corner he gave no sign of +recognition but he took out of the breast pocket of his travelling coat +a pocket-book, went deliberately up to the window, looked hard at the +label, and then wrote something--her name, no doubt--in his book. This +done, he put the book back in his pocket and walked gravely away without +glancing at her again. + +And now Lady Sellingworth no longer regretted that she was going to +Paris. What the man had just done had reassured her. It was now evident +to her that the first time they had met in Bond Street he had not known +who she was or anything about her. He must simply have been struck by +her beauty, and from that moment had wished to know her. Ever since +then he must have been longing to know who she was. The fact that he +had evidently not discovered her name till he had read it on the label +pasted on the railway carriage window convinced her that, in spite of +his boldness in showing her his feelings, he was a scrupulous man. A +careless man could certainly have found out who she was at the Carlton, +by asking a waiter. Evidently he had not chosen to do that. The omission +showed delicacy, refinement of nature. It pleased her. It made her feel +safe. She felt that the man was a gentleman, one who could respect a +woman. Sir Seymour had been wrong in his hasty judgment. An outsider +would not have behaved in such a way. That the stranger had deliberately +taken down her name in his book while she was watching him did not +displease her at all. He wished her to know of his longing, but he was +evidently determined to keep it hidden from others. + +She felt now in the very heart of a romantic adventure, and thrilled +with excitement about the future. What would happen when they all got +to Paris? It was evident to her now that he did not know she had an +apartment there--unless, indeed, he had first seen her in Paris and +had, perhaps, followed her to London! But even if that were so it was +unlikely that he knew where she lived. + +In any case she knew he was going to the Ritz. + +The train flew on towards the sea while she mused over possibilities and +imagined events in Paris. + +She knew now, of course, that the stranger was absolutely out of her +world. His ignorance proved to her that he could not be in any society +she moved in. She guessed that he was some charming young man from a +distance, come to Europe perhaps for the first time--some ardent youth +from Brazil, from Peru, from Mexico! The guess gave colour to the +adventure. He knew her name now. She wondered what his name was. And she +wondered about the old woman in the wig and about the sardonic friend. +In what relation did the three people stand to each other? + +She could not divine. But she thought that perhaps the old woman was the +mother of the man she wished to know. + +She had a private cabin on the boat. It was on the top deck. But, as the +weather was fine and the sea fairly calm, her maid occupied it with the +jewel-case, while she sat in the open on a deck chair, well wrapped up +in a fur rug. Presently an acquaintance, a colonel in the Life Guards, +joined her, established himself in a chair at her side, and kept her +busy with conversation. + +When the ship drew out into the Channel several men began to pace up +and down the deck with the sturdy determination of good sailors resolved +upon getting health from the salt briskness of the sea. Among them were +the two men of the trio. The old woman had evidently gone into hiding. + +As Lady Sellingworth conversed with her colonel she made time, as a +woman can, for a careful and detailed consideration of the man on whom +her thoughts were concentrated. Although he did not look at her as he +passed up and down the deck, she knew that he had seen where she was +sitting. And, without letting the colonel see what she was doing, she +followed the tall, athletic figure in the long, rough, greenish-brown +overcoat with her eyes, looking away when it drew very near to her. And +now and then she looked at its companion. + +In the Paris _rapide_ she was again alone in a carriage reserved for +her. She did not go into the restaurant to lunch, as she hated eating in +a crowd. Instead, her maid brought her a luncheon basket which had +been supplied by the chef in Berkeley Square. After eating she smoked a +cigarette and read the French papers which she had bought at the Calais +station. And then she sat still and looked out of the window, and +thought and dreamed and wondered and desired. + +Although she did not know it, she was living through almost the last +of those dreams which are the rightful property of youth, but which +sometimes, obstinate and deceitful, haunt elderly minds, usually to +their undoing. + +The light began to fade and the dream to become more actual. She lived +again as she had lived in the days when she was a reigning beauty, +when there was no question of her having to seek for the joys and the +adventures of life. In the twilight of France she reigned. + +A shadow passed by in the corridor. She had scarcely seen it. Rather +she had felt its passing. But the dream was gone. She was alert, tense, +expectant. Paris was near. And he was near. She linked the two together +in her mind. And she felt that she was drawing close to a climax in +her life. A conviction took hold of her that some big, some determining +event was going to happen in Paris, that she would return to London +different--a changed woman. + +Happiness changes! She was travelling in search of happiness. The wild +blood in her leaped at the thought of grasping happiness. And she felt +reckless. She would dare all, would do anything, if only she +might capture happiness. Dignity, self-respect, propriety, the +conventions--what value had they really? To bow down to them--does that +bring happiness? Out of the way with them, and a straight course for +the human satisfaction which comes only in following the dictates of the +nature one is born with! + +Lights twinkled here and there in the gloom. Again the shadow passed in +the corridor. A moment later Lady Sellingworth's maid appeared to take +charge of the jewel-case. + + + +The crowd at the Gare du Nord was great, and the station was badly lit. +Lady Sellingworth did not see her reason for coming to Paris. A carriage +was waiting for her. She got into it with her jewel-case, and drove away +to her apartment, leaving her maid to follow with the luggage. + +In the evening she dined alone, and she went to bed early. + +She had made no engagements in Paris; had not told any of her friends +there that she was going to be there for some days. She had no wish to +go into society. Her wish was to be perfectly free. But as she lay in +bed in her pretty, familiar room, she began to wonder what she was going +to do. She had come to Paris suddenly, driven by an intense caprice, +without making any plans, without even deciding how long she was going +to stay. She had imagined that in loneliness she would keep a hold on +liberty. But now she began to wonder about things. + +Even her secret wildness did not tell her that she could "knock about" +in Paris like a man. For one thing she was far too well known for that. +Many people might recognize her. When she had been much younger she had +certainly been to all sorts of odd places, and had had a wonderful time. +But somehow, with the passing of the years, she had learnt to pay some +attention to the imp within her, though there were moments when she +defied him. And he told her that she simply could not now do many of +the daring things which she had done when she was a brilliant and +lovely young woman. Besides, what would be the use? Almost suddenly she +realized the difficulty of her situation. + +She could not very well go about Paris alone. And yet to go about in +company must inevitably frustrate the only purpose which had brought +her to Paris. She had come there with an almost overwhelming desire, but +with no plan for its realization. + +But surely he had a plan. He must certainly have one if, as she still +believed, in spite of the trio, he had meant her to come to Paris +when he did. She wondered intensely what his plan was. He looked very +determined, audacious even, in spite of the curious and almost pleading +softness of his eyes, a softness which had haunted her imagination ever +since she had first seen him. She felt convinced that, once thoroughly +roused, he would be a man who would stick at very little, perhaps at +nothing, in carrying out a design he had formed. His design was surely +to make her acquaintance, and to make it in Paris. Yet he had come over +with two people, while she had come alone. What was he going to do? She +longed to know his plan. She wished to conform to it. Yet how could she +do that in total ignorance of what his plan was? Perhaps he knew her +address and would communicate with her. But that morning he had not even +known her name! She felt excited but puzzled. As the night grew late +she told herself that she must cease from thinking and try to sleep. +She must leave the near future in the lap of the gods. But she could not +make her mind a blank. Over and over again she revolved the matter which +obsessed her in her mind. Almost for the first time in her life she +ardently wished she were a man, able to take the initiative in any +matter of love. + +The clocks of Paris were striking three before at last she fell asleep. + +When she woke in the morning late and had had her coffee she did not +know how she was going to spend the day. She felt full of anticipation, +excited, yet vague, and usually lonely. The post brought her nothing. +About noon she was dressed and ready for the day. She must go out, of +course. It would be folly to remain shut up indoors after all the bother +of the journey. She must lunch somewhere, do something afterwards. There +was a telephone in her bedroom. She knew lots of people in Paris. +She might telephone to someone to join her at lunch at the Ritz or +somewhere. Afterwards they might go to a matinee or to a concert. +But she was afraid of getting immersed in engagements, of losing her +freedom. She thought over her friends and acquaintances in Paris. Which +of them would be the safest to communicate with? Which would be most +useful to her, and would trouble her least? Finally she decided on +telephoning to a rich American spinster whom she had known for years, a +woman who was what is called "large minded," who was very tolerant, very +understanding, and not more curious than a woman has to be. Caroline +Briggs could comprehend a hint without demanding facts to explain it. + +She telephoned to Caroline Briggs. Miss Briggs was at home and replied, +expressing pleasure and readiness to lunch with Lady Sellingworth +anywhere. After a moment's hesitation Lady Sellingworth suggested the +Ritz. Miss Briggs agreed that the Ritz would be the best place. + +They met at the Ritz at one o'clock. + +Miss Briggs, a small, dark, elderly and animated person, immensely rich +and full of worldly wisdom, wondered why Lady Sellingworth had come over +to Paris, was told "clothes," and smilingly accepted the explanation. +She knew Lady Sellingworth very well, and, being extremely sharp and +intuitive, realized at once that clothes had nothing to do with this +sudden visit. A voice within her said: "It's a man!" + +And presently the man came into the restaurant, accompanied by the +eternal old woman in the black wig. + +Now Caroline Briggs had an enormous and cosmopolitan acquaintance. She +was the sort of woman who knows wealthy Greeks, Egyptian pashas, Turkish +princesses, and wonderful exotic personages from Brazil, Persia, Central +America and the Indies. She gave parties which were really romantic, +which had a flavour, as someone had said, of the novels of Ouida brought +thoroughly up to date. Lady Sellingworth had been to some of them, and +had not forgotten them. And it had occurred to her that if anyone she +knew was acquainted with the brown man, that person might be Caroline +Briggs. She had, therefore, come to the Ritz with a faint hope in her +mind. + +Miss Brigs happened to be seated with her smart back to the man and old +woman when they entered the restaurant, and they sat down at a table +behind her, but in full view of Lady Sellingworth, who wished to draw +her companion's attention to them, but who also was reluctant to show +any interest in them. She knew that Miss Briggs knew a great deal about +her, and she did not mind that. But nevertheless, she felt at this +moment a certain _pudeur_ which was almost like the _pudeur_ of a girl. +Had it come to her with her entrance into the fifties? Or was it a cruel +gift from her imp? She was not sure; but she could not persuade herself +to draw Miss Briggs's attention to the people who interested her until +the bill was presented and it was almost time to leave the restaurant. + +Then at last she could keep silence no longer, and she said: + +"The people one sees in Paris seem to become more and more +extraordinary! Many of them one can't place at all." + +Miss Briggs, who had lived in Paris for quite thirty years, remarked: + +"Do you think they are more extraordinary than the people one sees about +London?" + +"Yes, really I do. That old woman in the black wig over there, for +instance, intrigues me. Where can she come from? Who can she be?" + +Miss Briggs looked carelessly round, and at once understood the reason +of Lady Sellingworth's remarks. "The man" was before her, and she knew +it. How? She could not have said. Had she been asked she would probably +have replied: "My bones told me." + +"Oh," she said, after the look. "She's the type of old woman who is born +and brought up in Brazil, and who, when she is faded, comes to European +spas for her health. I have met many of her type at Aix and Baden +Baden." + +"Ah!" replied Lady Sellingworth carelessly. "You don't know her then?" + +"No. But I have seen her two or three times within the last few +months--three times to be exact. Twice she has travelled in the same +train as I was in, though not in the same compartment, and once I saw +her dining here. Each time she was with that marvelously handsome young +man. I really noticed her--don't blame me--because of him." + +"Perhaps he's her son." + +"He may be her husband." + +"Oh--but the difference in their ages! She must be seventy at least, if +not more." + +"She may be very rich, too," said Miss Briggs dryly. + +Lady Sellingworth remembered that it was always said that Miss Briggs's +enormous fortune had kept her a spinster. She was generally supposed to +be one of those unfortunately cynical millionairesses who are unable to +believe in man's disinterested affection. + +"Shall we go?" said Lady Sellingworth. + +Miss Briggs assented, and they left the restaurant. + +They spent the afternoon together at a matinee at the Opera Comique, and +afterwards Miss Briggs came to tea at Lady Sellingworth's apartment. +Not another word had been said about the two strangers, but Lady +Sellingworth fully realized that Caroline Briggs had found her out. When +her friend finally got up to go she asked Lady Sellingworth how long she +intended to stay in Paris. + +"Oh, only a day or two," Lady Sellingworth said. "I've got to see two or +three dressmakers. Then I shall be off. I haven't told anyone that I am +here. It didn't seem worth while." + +"And you won't be dull all alone?" + +"Oh, no, I am never dull. I love two or three days of complete rest +now and then. One isn't made of cast iron, although some people seem to +think one is, or at ay rate ought to be." + +There was a tired sound in her voice as she said this, and Miss Briggs's +small and sharp, but kind, eyes examined her face rather critically. But +Miss Briggs only said: + +"Come and dine with me to-morrow night in my house. I shall be quite +alone." + +"Thank you, Caroline." + +She spoke rather doubtfully and paused. But finally she said: + +"I will with pleasure. What time?" + +"Half-past eight." + +When Miss Briggs had gone Lady Sellingworth gave way to an almost +desperate fit of despondency. She felt ashamed of herself, like a +sensitive person found out in some ugly fault. She sat down, and almost +for the first time in her life mentally she wrestled with herself. + +Something, she did not quite know what, in Caroline Briggs's look, or +manner, or surmised mental attitude that day, had gone home to her. +And that remark, "He may be her husband," followed by, "she may be very +rich, too," had dropped upon her like a stone. + +It had never occurred to her that the old woman in the wig might be the +young man's wife. But she now realized that it was quite possible. + +She had always known, since she had known Caroline, that her friend was +one of those few women who are wholly free from illusions. Miss Briggs +had not only never fallen into follies; she had avoided natural joys. +She had perhaps even been the slave of her self-respect. Never at all +good-looking though certainly not ugly, she had been afraid of the +effect of her wealth upon men. And because she was so rich she had +never chosen to marry. She was possibly too much of a cynic, but she +had always preserved her personal dignity. No one had ever legitimately +laughed at her, and no one had ever had the chance of contemptuously +pitying her. She must have missed a great deal, but now in middle-age +she was surround by friends who respected her. + +That was something. + +And--Lady Sellingworth was sure of it--Caroline was not ravaged by the +Furies who attack "foolish" middle-aged women. + +What did Caroline Briggs think of her? What must she think? + +Caroline knew well nearly all the members of the "old guard," and most +of them were fond of her. She had never got in any woman's way with +a man, and she was never condemnatory. So among women she was a very +popular woman. Many people confided in her. Lady Sellingworth had never +done this. But now she wished that she could bring herself to do it. +Caroline must certainly know her horribly well. Perhaps she could be +helped by Caroline. + +She needed help, for she was abominably devoid of moral courage. + +She did not quite know why at this particular moment she was overwhelmed +by a feeling of degradation; she only knew that she was overwhelmed. +She felt ashamed of being in Paris. She even compared herself with the +horrible old woman in the wig, who, perhaps, had bought the brown man as +she might have bought a big Newfoundland dog. + +Fifty! Fifty! Fifty! It knelled in her ears. Caroline saw her as a woman +of fifty. Perhaps everyone really saw her so. And yet--why had the man +given her that strange look in Bond Street? Why had he wished her to +come to Paris? She tried, with a really unusual sincerity, to find some +other reason than the reason which had delighted her vanity. But she +failed. Sincerely she failed. + +And yet--was it possible? + +She thought of giving up, of becoming like Caroline. It would be a great +rest. But how empty her life would be. Caroline's life was a habit. But +such a life for her would be an absolute novelty. No doubt Caroline's +reward had come to her in middle-age. Middle-age was bringing something +to her, Adela Sellingworth, which was certainly not a reward. One got +what one earned. That was certain. And she had earned wages which she +dreaded having paid to her. + +She had a good brain, and she realized that if she had the moral courage +she might--it was possible--be rewarded by a peace of mind such as she +had never yet known. She was able as it were to catch a glimpse of a +future in which she might be at ease with herself. It even enticed her. +But something whispered to her, "It would be stagnation--death in life." +And then she was afraid of it. + +She spent the evening in miserable depression, not knowing what she +could do. She distrusted and almost hated herself. And she could not +decide whether or not on the morrow to give Caroline some insight into +her state of mind. + +On the following day she was still miserable, even tormented, and quite +undecided as to what she was going to do. + +She spent the morning at her dressmaker's, and walked, with her maid, +in the Rue de la Paix. There she met a Frenchwoman whom she knew well, +Madame de Gretigny, who begged her to come to lunch at her house in the +Faubourg St. Honore. She accepted. What else could she do? After lunch +she drove with her friend in the Bois. Then they dropped in to tea with +some French mutual friends. + +The usual Paris was gently beginning to take possession of her. What was +the good of it all? What had she really expected of this visit? She had +started from London with a crazy sense of adventure. And here she was +plunged in the life of convention! Oh, for the freedom of a man! Or the +stable content of a Caroline Briggs! + +At moments she felt enraged. + +She saw the crowds passing in the streets, women tripping along +consciously, men--flaneurs--strolling with their well-known look of +watchful idleness, and she felt herself to be one of life's prisoners. +And she knew she would never again take hands with the Paris she had +once known so well. Why was that? Because of something in herself, +something irrevocable which had fixed itself in her with the years. She +was changing, had changed, not merely in body, but in something else. +She felt that her audacity was sinking under the influence of her +diffidence. Suddenly it occurred to her that perhaps this sudden visit +to Paris on the track of an adventure was the last strong effort of her +audacity. How would it end? In a meek and ridiculous return to London +after a lunch with Caroline Briggs, a dinner with Caroline, a visit +to the Opera Comique with Caroline! That really seemed the probable +conclusion of the whole business. And yet--and yet she still had a sort +of queer under feeling that she was drawing near to a climax in her +life, and that, when she did return to London, she would return a +definitely changed woman. + +At half-past eight that night she walked into Caroline's wonderful house +in the Champs-Elysees. + +During dinner the two women talked as any two women of their types might +have talked, quite noncommittally, although, in a surface way, quite +intimately. Miss Briggs was a creature full of tact, and was the last +person in the world to try to force a confidence from anyone. She was +also not given at any time to pouring out confidences of her own. + +After dinner they sat in a little room which Miss Briggs had had +conveyed from Persia to Paris. Everything in it was Persian. When the +door by which it was entered had been shut there was absolutely nothing +to suggest Europe to those within. A faint Eastern perfume pervaded +this strange little room, which suggested a deep retirement, an almost +cloistered seclusion. A grille in one of the walls drew the imagination +towards the harem. It seemed that there must be hidden women over +there beyond it. Instinctively one listened for the tinkle of childish +laughter, for the distant plash of a fountain, for the shuffle of +slippers on marble. + +Lady Sellingworth admired this room, and envied her friend for +possessing it. But that night it brought to her a thought which she +could not help expressing. + +"Aren't you terribly lonely in this house, Caroline?" she said. "It +is so large and so wonderful that I should think it must make solitude +almost a bodily shape to you. And this room seems to be in the very +heart of the house. Do you ever sit here without a friend or guest?" + +"Now and then, but not often at night," said Miss Briggs, with serene +self-possession. + +"You are an extraordinary woman!" said Lady Sellingworth. + +"Extraordinary! Why?" + +"Because you always seem so satisfied to live quite alone. I hate +solitude. I'm afraid of it." + +Suddenly she felt that she must be partially frank with her hostess. + +"Is self-respect a real companion for a woman?" she said. "Can one sit +with it and be contented? Does it repay a woman for all the sacrifices +she has offered up to it? Is it worth the sacrifices? That's what I want +to know." + +"I dare say that depends on the woman's mental make up," replied Miss +Briggs. "One woman, perhaps, might find that it was, another that it was +not." + +"Yes, we are all so different, so dreadfully different, one from +another." + +"It would be very much duller if we weren't." + +"Even as it is life can be very dull." + +"I should certainly not call your life dull," said Miss Briggs. + +"Anyhow, it's dreadful!" said Lady Sellingworth, with sudden +abandonment. + +"Why is it dreadful?" + +"Caroline, I was fifty a few days ago." + +As Lady Sellingworth said this she observed her friend closely to see if +she looked surprised. Miss Briggs did not look surprised. And she only +said: + +"Were you? Well, I shall be fifty-eight in a couple of months." + +"You don't look it." + +"Perhaps that's because I haven't looked young for the last thirty +years." + +"I hate being fifty. The difficulty with me is that my--my nature and my +temperament don't match with my age. And that worries me. What is one to +do?" + +"Do you want me to advise you about something?" + +"I think I do. But it's so difficult to explain. Perhaps there is a time +to give up. Perhaps I have reached it. But if I do give up, what am I to +do? How am I to live? I might marry again." + +"Why not?" + +"It would have to be an elderly man, wouldn't it?" + +"I hope so." + +"I--I shouldn't care to marry an elderly man. I don't want to." + +"Then don't do it." + +"You think if I were to marry a comparatively young man--" + +She paused, looking almost pleadingly at the uncompromising Miss Briggs. + +"I'm convinced of this, that no really normal young man could ever be +contented long if he married a middle-aged woman. And what intelligent +woman is happy with an abnormal man?" + +"Caroline, you are so dreadfully frank!" + +"I say just what I think." + +"But you think so drastically. And you are so free from sentiment." + +"What is called sentiment is very often nothing but what is described in +the Bible as the lust of the eye." + +This shaft, perhaps not intended to be a shaft, went home. Lady +Sellingworth reddened and looked down. + +"I dare say it is," she murmured. "But--no doubt some of us are more +subject to temptation than others." + +"I'm sure that is so." + +"It's very difficult to give up deliberately nearly all that has made +life interesting and attractive to you ever since you can remember. +Caroline, would you advise me to--to abdicate? You know what I mean." + +Miss Briggs's rather plain, but very intelligent, face softened. + +"Adela, my dear," she said, "I understand a great deal more than you +have cared to hint at to me." + +"I know you do." + +"I think that unless you change your way of life in time you are heading +straight for tragedy. We both know a lot of women who try to defy the +natural law. Many of them are rather beautiful women. But do you think +they are happy women? I don't. I know they aren't. Youth laughs at +them. I don't know what you feel about it, but I think I would rather be +pelted with stones than be jeered at by youth in my middle age. Respect +may sound a very dull word, but I think there's something very warm +in it when it surrounds you as you get old. In youth we want love, of +course, all of us. But in middle age we want respect too. And nothing +else takes its place. There's a dignity of the soul, and women like +us--I'm older than you, but still we are neither of us very young any +longer--only throw it away at a terrible price. When I want to see +tragedy I look at the women who try to hang on to what refuses to stay +with them. And I soon have to shut my eyes. It's too painful. It's like +looking at bones decked out with jewels." + +Lady Sellingworth sat very still. There was a long silence between the +two friends. When they spoke again they spoke of other things. + +That night Lady Sellingworth told her maid to pack up, as she was +returning to London by the morning express on the following day. + + + +At the Gare du Nord there was the usual bustle. But there was not a +great crowd of travellers for England, and Lady Sellingworth without +difficulty secured a carriage to herself. Her maid stood waiting with +the jewel-case while she went to the bookstall to buy something to +read on the journey. She felt dull, almost miserable, but absolutely +determined. She knew that Caroline was right. She thought she meant to +take her advice. At any rate, she would not try to pursue the adventure +which had lured her to Paris. How she would be able to live when she +got home she did not know. But she would go home. It had been absurd, +undignified of her to come to Paris. She would try to forget all about +it. + +She bought a book and some papers; then she walked to the train. + +"Are you going to get in, my lady?" said the maid. + +"Yes. You can put in the jewel-case." + +The maid did so, and Lady Sellingworth got into the carriage and sat +next to the window on the platform side, facing the engine, with the +jewel-case beside her on the next seat. The corridor was between her +and the platform. On the right, beyond the carriage door, the line was +blocked by another train at rest in the station. + +She sat still, not reading, but thinking. The maid went away to her +second-class carriage. + +Lady Sellingworth continued to feel very dull. Now that she was +abandoning this adventure, or promise of adventure, she knew how much it +had meant to her. It had lifted her out of the anger and depression in +which she had been plunged by the Rupert Louth episode. It had appealed +to her wildness, had given her new hope, something to look forward +to, something that was food for her imagination. She had lived in an +imagined future that was romantic, delicious and turbulent. Now she +knew exactly how much she had counted on this visit to Paris as the door +through which she would pass into a new and extraordinary romance. She +had felt certain that something wonderful, something unconventional, +bizarre, perhaps almost maddening, was going to happen to her in Paris. + +And now--At this moment she became aware of some influence which drew +her attention to the platform on her left. She had not seen anyone; +she had simply felt someone. She turned her head and looked through the +window of the corridor. + +The brown man was on the platform alone, standing still and looking +intently towards her carriage. Two or three people passed him. He did +not move. She felt sure that he was waiting for her to get out, that +this time he meant to speak to her. + +In a moment all her good resolutions, all the worldly wise advice of +Miss Briggs, all her dullness and despair were forgotten. The wildness +that would not die surged up in her. Her vanity glowed. She had been +wrong, utterly wrong. Miss Briggs had been wrong. Despite the difference +between their ages, this man, young, strong, amazingly handsome, must +have fallen in love with her at first sight. He must have--somehow--been +watching her in Paris. He must have ascertained that she was leaving +Paris that morning, have followed her to the station determined at all +costs to have a word with her. + +Should she let him have that word? + +Just for an instant she hesitated. Then, almost passionately, she gave +way to a turbulent impulse. She felt reckless. At that moment she was +almost ready to let the train go without her. But there were still a +few, a very few, minutes before the time for its departure. She got up, +left the carriage, and stood in the corridor looking out of the window. +Immediately the man slightly raised his hat, sent her a long and +imploring look, and then moved slowly away down the platform in the +direction of the entrance to it. She gazed after him. He paused, again +raised his hat, and made a very slight, scarcely noticeable gesture with +his hand. Then he remained where he was. + +Saying to herself that she would certainly not obey his obvious wish and +follow him, but would simply get out of the train and take a few breaths +of air on the platform--as any woman might to while away the time--Lady +Sellingworth made her way to the end of the corridor and descended to +the platform. The brown man was still there, a little way off. Several +people were hurrying to take their places in the train. Porters were +carrying hand luggage, or wheeling trucks of heavy luggage to the +railway vans. No one seemed to have any time to take notice of her or +of the man. She did not look at him, but began slowly to stroll up and +down, keeping near to her carriage. She had given him his chance. Now +it was for him to take firm hold on it. She fully expected that he would +come up and speak to her. She thrilled with excitement at the prospect. +What would he say? How would he act? Would he explain why he had done +nothing in Paris? Would he beg her to stay on in Paris? Would he ask to +be allowed to visit her in London? Would he--But he did not come up to +her. + +After taking several short turns, keeping her eyes resolutely away from +the place where he was standing, Lady Sellingworth could not resist the +impulse to look towards him to see what he was doing. She lifted her +eyes. + +He was gone. + +"_En voiture!_" cried a hoarse voice. + +She stood still. + +"_En voiture! En voiture!_" + +Mechanically she moved. She went to her carriage, put her hand on the +rail, mounted the steps, passing into the corridor, and reached her +compartment just as the train began to move. + +What had happened to him? What was the meaning of it all? Was he +travelling to England too? Had he got into the train? + +She sat down wondering, almost confused. + +Mechanically she let her right hand drop on to the seat beside her. She +was so accustomed when travelling to have her jewel-case beside her that +her hand must have missed it though her thoughts were far from it. For +immediately after dropping her hand she looked down. + +The jewel-case was gone. + +Instantly her feeling of confusion was swept away; instantly she +understood. + +She had been caught in a trap by a clever member of the swell mob +operating with a confederate. While she had been on the platform, to +which she had been deliberately enticed, the confederate had entered the +compartment from the line, through the doorway on the right-hand side of +her carriage, and had carried off the jewel-case. + +The revelation of the truth almost stunned something in her. Yet she +was able to think quite clearly. She did nothing. She just sat still +and understood, and went on understanding, while the train quickened its +pace on its way towards the sea. + +By the time it slowed down, and the dull houses of Calais appeared, she +had made up her mind about the future. Her vanity had received at last a +mortal blow. The climax had come. It was not what she had expected, +but her imp--less satirical now than desperately tragic and powerfully +persuasive, told her that it was what she deserved. And she bowed her +head to his verdict, not with tears, but with a cold and stormy sense of +finality. + +When the train stopped at the harbour station her maid appeared in the +corridor. + +"Shall I take the jewel-case, my lady?" + +Lady Sellingworth stood up. She had not decided what to say to her maid. +She was taken by surprise. As she stood, her tall figure concealed the +seat on which the jewel-case had been lying. For an instant she looked +at the maid in silence. Perhaps the expression of her face as strange, +for after a pause the maid said anxiously: + +"Whatever is it, my lady?" + +"Never mind about the jewel-case!" said Lady Sellingworth. + +"But--" + +"It's gone!" + +"Gone, my lady!" said the maid, looking aghast. "Gone where?" + +"It was taken at the station in Paris." + +"Taken, my lady! But it was in the carriage by the side of your +ladyship! I never left it. I had it in my own hands till your +ladyship--" + +"I know--I know! Don't say anything more about it. It's gone, and we +shall never see it again." + +The maid stared, horrified, and scenting a mystery. + +"Get that porter! Make haste!" + +They got down from the train. Lady Sellingworth turned to make her way +to the ship. + +"But, my lady, surely we ought to speak to the police? All your +beautiful jewels--" + +"The police could do nothing. It is too late! I should only have endless +trouble, and no good would come of it." + +"But your ladyship was in the carriage with them!" + +"Yes, I know! Now don't say any more about the matter!" + +There was something in her tone which struck the maid to silence. She +said not another word till they were on the ship. + +Then Lady Sellingworth went to the cabin which she had telegraphed for. + +"I am going to lie down," she said. "You can leave me." + +"Yes, my lady." + +After arranging things in the cabin the maid was about to go when Lady +Sellingworth said: + +"You have been with me a long time, Henderson. You have been very useful +to me. And I think I have been a good mistress to you." + +"Oh, yes, my lady, indeed you have. I would do anything for your +ladyship." + +"Would you? Then try to hold your tongue about this unfortunate +occurrence. Talking can do no good. I shall not inform the police. The +jewels are gone, and I shan't get them back. I have a great dislike of +fuss and gossip, and only wish to be left in peace. If you talk, all +this is sure to get into the papers. I should hate that." + +"Yes, my lady. But surely the police--" + +"It is my business, and no one else's, to decide what is best in this +matter. So hold your tongue, if you can. You will not repent it if you +do." + +"Yes, my lady. Certainly, my lady." + +The maid was obviously horrified and puzzled. But she left her mistress +without another word. + +They arrived in Berkeley Square in the evening. + +That evening which Lady Sellingworth spent in solitude was the turning +point in her life. During it and the succeeding night she went down to +the bedrock of realization. She allowed her brains full liberty. Or they +took full liberty as their right. The woman of the grey matter had it +out with the woman of the blood. She stared her wildness in the face and +saw it just as it was, and resolved once for all to dominate it for the +rest of her days. She was not such a fool as to think that she could +ever destroy it. No doubt it would always be there to trouble her, +perhaps often to torture her. But rule her, as it had ruled her in +the past, it never should again. Her resolve about that was hard, of a +rock-like quality. + +She had done with a whole side of life, and it was the side for which +she had lived ever since she was a girl of sixteen. The renunciation was +tremendous, devastating almost. She thought of a landslide carrying away +villages, whole populations. How true had been the instinct which had +told her that she was drawing near to a climax in her life! Had ever a +woman before her been brought in a flash to such a cruel insight? It was +as if a tideless sea, by some horrible miracle, retreated, leaving naked +rocks which till that moment had never been seen by mortal eyes, hideous +and grotesque rocks covered with slime and ooze. + +And she stood alone, staring at them. + +She remembered the dinner in her house at which there had been the +discussion about happiness, and the desire of the old Anglo-Indian for +complete peace of mind. Could a woman gain that mysterious benefit by +giving up? Could such a thing ever be hers? She did not believe it. But +she knew all the torture of striving. In her renunciation she would at +least be able to rest, to rest in being frankly and openly what she was. +And she knew she was tired. She was very tired. Perhaps some of the "old +guard" were made of cast iron. But she was not. + +The "old guard"! With the thought of that body of wonderful women came +a flood of memories. She remembered "The Hags' Hop." She saw Rocheouart +standing before her; Rupert Louth; other young men, all lively, +handsome, ardent, bursting with life and the wish to enjoy. + +Was there ever a time when the human being could utterly forego the wish +to enjoy? To her there seemed to be hidden in desire seeds of eternity. +The struggle for her, then, was not yet over. Perhaps it would only +cease in the grave. And after? Sellingworth had often told her that +there was no hereafter. And at the time she had believed him. But she +was not sure now. For even the persistence of desire seemed to point to +something beyond. But she would not bother about that. She was held fast +enough in the present. + +What would the "old guard" say of her, think of her, in a very short +time? What a defection hers would be! For she had resolved to take +a plunge into middle age. No gliding into it for her! She would let +everything go which was ready to go naturally. Her Greek had already +lost his job, although as yet he did not know it. + +Caroline Briggs would believe that the change which was at hand, the +change which would be discussed, perhaps laughed at, praised by some, +condemned by others, had been brought about by the conversation in +the Persian Room. She would never know the truth. No one of Lady +Sellingworth's set would ever know it. For no one, except a thief and +his underlings, knew of the last folly of poor old Adela Sellingworth! + +Poor old Adela Sellingworth! + +As Lady Sellingworth called herself bitterly by that name tears at last +came into her luminous eyes. Secretly she wept over herself, although +the tears did not fall down upon her cheeks. She had done many foolish +things, many wild things, many almost crazy things in her life. But that +day she had surely been punished for them all. When she thought of the +thieves' plot against her, of the working out of it, she saw herself +lying, like a naked thing, in the dust. Such men! How had they known her +character? Somehow they must have got to know it, and devised their plan +to appeal to it. They had woven just the right net to catch her in its +folds. She seemed to hear their hideous discussions about her. The long +look in Bond Street had been the first move in the horrible game. And +she in her folly had connected the game with romance, with something +like love even. + +Love! A life such as hers had been was the prostitution of love, and +now she deserved to be loveless for the rest of her life. Vanity and +sensuality had been her substitutes for love. She had dealt in travesty +and had pretended, even to herself, that she was following reality. It +was amazing how she had managed to deceive herself. + +She would never do that again. + +Very late that night, alone in her bedroom, she sat before a mirror and +looked into it, saying good-bye to the self which she had cherished and +fostered so long, had lived for recklessly sometimes, ruthlessly almost +always. She saw a worn, but still very handsome woman. But she told +herself that the woman was hideous. For really she was looking at the +woman underneath, the woman who was going to emerge very soon into the +daylight with a frankly lined face crowned with grey or perhaps even +white hair, at the woman who was the truth, at _herself_. This woman +before her was only a counterfeit, a marvellously clever artificiality. + +There were two electric lights at the sides of the mirror. She turned +them both on. She wanted crude light just then. Cruelty she was taking +to her bosom. She was grasping her nettle with both hands. + +Yes, the artificiality was marvellously clever! The Greek had been worth +his money. He had created a sort of human orchid whose petals showed +few, wonderfully few, signs of withering. + +But she had wanted to be not the orchid but really the rose. And so she +was down in the dust. + +Poor old Adela Sellingworth, who in a very short time--how long exactly +would the Greek's work take to crumble--would look even older than +fifty! + +She turned out the lights presently and got into bed. When she had made +the big bedroom dark, and had stretched her long body out between the +sheets of Irish linen, she felt terrifically tired, tired in body and +spirit, but somehow not in mind. Her mind was almost horribly alive and +full of agility. It brought visions before her; it brought voices into +her ears. + +She saw men of the underworld sitting together in shadows and whispering +about her, using coarse words, undressing her character, commenting +upon it without mercy, planning how they would make use of it to their +advantage. She heard them laughing about her and about all the women +like her. + +And presently she saw an old woman with a white face, a withered throat +and vague eyes, an old woman in a black wig, smiling as she decked +herself out in the Sellingworth jewels. + + + + +PART THREE + + + +CHAPTER I + +Miss Van Tuyn, enthroned among distinguished and definite Georgians in a +nimbus of smoke, presently began to wonder what had become of a certain +young man. Despite the clamour of voices about her, and the necessity +for showing incessantly that, although she had never bothered to paint +cubist pictures or to write minor poetry, or even to criticize and +appreciate meticulously those who did, she was cleverer than any +Georgian of them all, her mind would slip away to Berkeley Square. She +had, of course, noted young Craven's tacit resistance to the pressure +of her desire, and her girlish vanity had resented it. But she had +remembered that even in these active days of the ruthless development of +the ego a sense of politeness, of what is "due" from one human being +to another, still lingers in some perhaps old-fashioned bosoms. Lady +Sellingworth was elderly. Craven might have thought it was his absolute +duty to protect her from the possible dangers lurking between Regent +Street and Berkeley Square. But as time went on, despite the sallies +of Dick Garstin, the bloodless cynicisms of Enid Blunt, who counted +insolence as the chief of the virtues, the amorous sentimentalities of +the Turkish refugee from Smyrna, whose moral ruin had been brought about +by a few lines of praise from Pierre Loti, the touching appreciations +of prison life by Penitence Murray, and the voluble intellectuality of +Thapoulos, Jennings and Smith the sculptor, Miss Van Tuyn began to +feel absent-minded. Her power of attraction was quite evidently being +seriously challenged. She was now certain--how could she not be--that +Craven had not merely gone to Number 18A, but had also "gone in." + +That was unnecessary. It was even very strange. For she, Beryl Van Tuyn, +was at least thirty-six years younger than Lady Sellingworth. + +Miss Van Tuyn had an almost inordinate belief in the attraction youth +holds for men. She had none of the hidden diffidence which had been such +a troubling element in Lady Sellingworth's nature. Nor was there any imp +which sat out of reach and mocked her. The violet eyes were satirical; +but her satire was reserved for others, and was seldom or never directed +against herself. She possessed a supply of self-assurance such as +Lady Sellingworth had never had, though for many years she had had +the appearance of it. Having this inordinate belief and this strong +self-assurance, having also youth and beauty, and remembering certain +little things which seemed to her proof positive that Craven was quite +as susceptible to physical emotions as are most healthy and normal +young men, she wondered why he had not returned to the Cafe Royal after +leaving Lady Sellingworth decorously at her door. He had known perfectly +well that she wished him to return. She had not even been subtle in +conveying the wish to him. And yet he had defied it. + +Or perhaps Lady Sellingworth had defied it for him. + +Miss Van Tuyn was really as fond of Lady Sellingworth as she could be of +a woman. She felt strongly the charm which so many others had felt. +Lady Sellingworth also interested her brain and aroused strongly the +curiosity which was a marked feature of her "make-up." She had called +Lady Sellingworth a book of wisdom. She was also much influenced by +distinction and personal prestige. About the distinction of her friend +there could be no doubt; and the prestige of a once-famous woman of the +world, and of a formerly great beauty whose name would have its place +in the annals of King Edward the Seventh, still lingered about the +now-faded recluse of Berkeley Square. But till this moment Miss Van Tuyn +had never thought of Lady Sellingworth as a possible rival to herself. + +Even now when the idea presented itself to her she was inclined to +dismiss it as too absurd for consideration. And yet Craven had not come +back, although he must know she was expecting him. + +Perhaps Lady Sellingworth had made him go in against his will. + +Miss Van Tuyn remembered the photograph she had seen at Mrs. Ackroyd's. +That woman had the face of one who was on the watch for new lovers. And +does a woman ever change? Only that very night she herself had said to +Craven, as they walked from Soho to Regent Street, that she had a theory +of the changelessness of character. Or perhaps she had really meant +of temperament. She had even said that she believed that the Lady +Sellingworth of to-day was to all intents and purposes the Lady +Sellingworth of yesterday and of the other days of her past. If that +were so--and she had meant what she had said--then in the white-haired +woman, who seemed now indifferent to admiration and leagues removed from +vanity, there still dwelt a woman on the pounce. + +Young Craven was very good-looking, and there was something interesting +about his personality. His casual manner, which was nevertheless very +polite, was attractive. His blue eyes and black hair gave him an almost +romantic appearance. He was very quiet, but was certainly far from being +cold. And he undoubtedly understood a great deal, and must have had many +experiences of which he never talked. Miss Van Tuyn was subtle enough +to know that he was subtle too. She had made up her mind to explore his +subtlety. And now someone else was exploring it in Berkeley Square. +The line reappeared in her low white forehead, and her cult for Lady +Sellingworth, like flannel steeped in water, underwent a shrinking +process. She felt strongly the indecency of grasping old age. And +through her there floated strange echoes of voices which had haunted +Lady Sellingworth's youth, voices which had died away long ago in +Berkeley Square, but which are captured by succeeding generations of +women, and which persist through the ages, finding ever new dwellings. + +The night was growing late, but the Georgians bitterly complained of the +absurdity of London having a closing time. The heat and the noise +seemed to swell with the passing of the hours, and a curious and anemic +brutality dawned with the midnight upon many of the faces around the +narrow tables. They looked at the same time bloodless and hard. Eyes +full of languor, or feverish with apparent expectation of some impending +adventure, stared fixedly through the smoke wreaths at other eyes in the +distance. Loud voices hammered through the murk. Foreheads beaded with +perspiration began to look painfully expressive. It was as if all faces +were undressed. + +Dick Garstin, the famous painter, a small, slight, clean-shaven man, who +looked like an intellectual jockey with his powerful curved nose, thin, +close-set lips, blue cheeks and prominent, bony chin, and who fostered +the illusion deliberately by dressing in large-checked suits of a +sporting cut, with big buttons and mighty pockets, kept on steadily +drinking green chartreuse and smoking small, almost black, cigars. He +was said to be made of iron, and certainly managed to combine perpetual +dissipation with an astonishing amount of hard and admirable work. His +models he usually found--or so he said--at the Cafe Royal, and he made +a speciality of painting the portraits of women of the demi-monde, +of women who drank, or took drugs, who were morphia maniacs, or were +victims of other unhealthy and objectionable crazes. Nothing wholly +sane, nothing entirely normal, nothing that suggested cold water, fresh +air or sunshine, made any appeal to him. A daisy in the grass bored him; +a gardenia emitting its strangely unreal perfume on a dung heap brought +all his powers into play. He was an eccentric of genius, and in his +strangeness was really true to himself, although normal people were apt +to assert that his unlikeness to them was a pose. Simplicity, healthy +goodness, the radiance of unsmirched youth seemed to his eyes wholly +inexpressive. He loved the rotten as a dog loves garbage, and he raised +it by his art to fascination. Even admirable people, walking through his +occasional one-man exhibitions, felt a lure in his presentations of sin, +of warped womanhood, and, gazing at the blurred faces, the dilated eyes, +the haggard mouths, the vicious hands of his portraits, were shiveringly +conscious of missed experiences, and for the moment felt ill at ease +with what seemed just there, and just then, the dullness of virtue. The +evil admired him because he made evil wonderful. To the perverse he was +almost as a god. + +Miss Van Tuyn was an admirer of Dick Garstin. She thought him a great +painter, but apart from his gift his mind interested her intensely. He +had a sort of melancholy understanding of human nature and of life, +a strangely sure instinct in probing to the bottom of psychological +mysteries, a cruelly sure hand in tearing away the veils which the +victims hoped would shroud their weaknesses and sins. These gifts made +her brain respect him, and tickled her youthful curiosity. It was really +for Dick that she had specially wished Lady Sellingworth to join the +Georgians that night. And now, in her secret vexation, she was moved to +speak of the once famous Edwardian. + +"Have you ever heard of Lady Sellingworth?" she said, leaning her elbow +on the marble table in front of her, and bending towards Dick Garstin so +that he might hear her through the uproar. + +He finished one more chartreuse and turned his small black eyes upon +her. Pin-points of piercing light gleamed in them. He lifted his large, +coarse and capable painter's hand to his lips, put his cigar stump +between them, inhaled a quantity of smoke, blew it out through his hairy +nostrils, and then said in a big bass voice: + +"Never. Why should I have? I hate society women." + +Miss Van Tuyn suppressed a smile at the absurd and hackneyed phrase, +which reminded her of picture papers. For a moment she thought of Dick +Garstin as a sort of inverted snob. But she wanted something from him, +so she pursued her conversational way, and inflicted upon him a rapid +description of Lady Sellingworth, as she had been and as she was, +recording the plunge from artificial youth into perfectly natural +elderliness which had now, to her thinking, become definite old age. + +The painter gave her a sort of deep and melancholy attention, keeping +the two pin-points of light directed steadily upon her. + +"Did you ever know a woman doing such a thing as that, Dick?" she asked. +"Did you ever know of a woman clinging to her youth, and then suddenly, +in a moment, flinging all pretence of it away from her?" + +He did not trouble, or perhaps did not choose, to answer her question, +but instead made the statement: + +"She had been thrown off by some lover. In a moment of furious despair, +thinking all was over for her for ever, she let everything go. And +then she hadn't the cheek to try to take any of it back. She hadn't the +_toupet_. But"--he flung a large hand stained with pigments out in an +ugly, insolent gesture--"any one of these _fleurs du mal_ would have +jumped back from the white to the bronze age when the fit was passed, +without caring a damn what anyone thought of them. All the moral bravery +is in the underworld. That is why I paint it." + +"That is absolute truth," said Jennings, who was sitting next to Dick +Garstin and smoking an enormous pipe. "The lower you go the more truth +you find." + +"Then I suppose the gutter is full of it," said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"The Cafe Royal is," said Garstin. "There are free women here. Your +women of society are for ever waiting on the opinion of what they call +their set--God help them! Your Lady Sellingworth, for instance--would +she dare, after showing herself as an old woman, to become a young woman +again? Not she! Her precious set would laugh at her for it. But Cora, +for instance--" He pointed to a table a little way off, at which a woman +was sitting alone. "Do you suppose Cora cares one single damn what you, +or I, or anyone else thinks of her? She knows we all know exactly what +she is, and it makes not a particle of difference to her. She'll tell +you, or anyone else, what her nature is. If you don't happen to like it, +you can go to Hell--for her. That's a free woman. Look at her face. Why, +it's great, because her life and what she is is written all over it. +I've painted her, and I'll paint her again. She's a human document, not +a sentimental Valentine. Waiter! Waiter!" + +His sonorous bass rolled out, dominating the uproar around him. Miss +Van Tuyn looked at the woman he had been speaking of. She was tall, +emaciated, high shouldered. Her face was dead white, with brightly +painted lips. She had dark and widely dilated eyes which looked hungry, +observant and desperate. The steadiness of their miserable gaze was like +that of an animal. She was dressed in a perfectly cut coat and skirt +with a neat collar and a black tie. Both her elbows were on the table, +and her sharp white chin was supported by her hands, on which she wore +white gloves sewn with black. Her features were good, and the shape +of her small head was beautiful. Her expression was intense, but +abstracted. In front of her was a small tumbler half full of a liquid +the colour of water. + +A waiter brought Garstin a gin-and-soda. He mixed drinks in an almost +stupefying way, as few men can without apparent ill-effects unless they +are Russians. + +"Cora--a free woman, by God!" he observed, lighting another of his small +but deadly cigars. + +Enid Blunt, who was sitting with Smith the sculptor and others at the +adjoining table, began slowly, and with an insolent drawl, reciting a +sonnet. She was black as the night. Even her hands looked swarthy. +There were yellow lights in her eyes. Her voice was guttural, and she +pronounced English with a strong German accent, although she had no +German blood in her veins and had never been in Germany. The little +Bolshevik, who had the face of a Russian peasant, candid eyes and a +squat figure, listened with an air of profound and somehow innocent +attention. She possessed neither morals nor manners, denied the +existence of God, and wished to pull the whole fabric of European +civilization to pieces. Her small brain was obsessed by a desire for +anarchy. She hated all laws and was really a calmly ferocious little +animal. But she looked like a creature of the fields, and had something +of the shepherdess in her round grey eyes. Thapoulos, a Levantine, who +had once been a courier in Athens, but who was now a rich banker with +a taste for Bohemia, kept one thin yellow hand on her shoulder as he +appeared to listen, with her, to the sonnet. Smith, with whom the little +Bolshevik was allied for the time, and who did in clay very much what +Garstin did on canvas, but more roughly and with less subtlety, looked +at the Levantine's hand with indifference. A large heavy man, with +square shoulders and short bowed legs, he scarcely knew why he had +anything to do with Anna, or remembered how they had come together. He +did not understand her at all, but she cooked certain Russian dishes +which he liked, and minded dirt as little as he did. Perhaps that lack +of minding had thrown them together. He did not know; nobody knew or +cared. + +"Well, I'm a free woman," said Miss Van Tuyn, in answer to Garstin's +exclamation about Cora. "But you've never bothered to paint me." + +She spoke with a touch of irritation. Somehow things seemed to be going +vaguely wrong for her to-night. + +"I suppose I am not near enough to the gutter yet," she added. + +"You're too much of the out-of-door type for me," said Garstin, looking +at her with almost fierce attention. "There isn't a line about you +except now and then in your forehead just above the nose. And even that +only comes from bad temper." + +"Really, Dick," said Miss Van Tuyn, "you are absurd. It's putting your +art into a strait waistcoat only to paint Cafe Royal types. But if you +want lines Lady Sellingworth ought to sit for you." + +Her mind that night could not detach itself from Lady Sellingworth. +In the midst of the noise, and crush, and strong light of the cafe she +continually imagined a spacious, quiet, and dimly lit room, very calm, +very elegant, faintly scented with flowers; she continually visualized +two figures near together, talking quietly, earnestly, confidentially. +Why had she allowed Jennings to lead her astray? She might have been in +that spacious room, too, if she had not been stupid. + +"I want to ask you something about Lady Sellingworth," she continued. +"Come a little nearer." + +Garstin shifted his chair. + +"But I don't know her," he said, rumpling his hair with an air of +boredom. "An old society woman! What's the good of that to me? What have +I to do with dowagers? Bow wow dowagers! Even Rembrandt--" + +"Now, Dick, don't be a bore! If you would only listen occasionally, +instead of continually--" + +"Go ahead, young woman! And bend down a little more. Why don't you take +off your hat?" + +"I will." + +She did so quickly, and bent her lovely head nearer to him. + +"That's better. You've got a damned fine head. Ceres might have owned +it. But classical stuff is no good to me. You ought to have been painted +by Leighton and hung on the line in the precious old Royal Academy." + +Again the tell-tale mark appeared above the bridge of Miss Van Tuyn's +charming nose. + +"I painted by a Royal Academician!" she exclaimed. "Thank you, Dick!" + +Garstin, who was as mischievous as a monkey, and who loved to play cat +and mouse with a woman, continued to gaze at her with his assumption of +fierce attention. + +"But Leighton being unfortunately dead, we can't go to him for your +portrait," he continued gravely. "I think we shall have to hand you over +to McEvoy. Smith!" he suddenly roared. + +"Well, what is it, Dick, what is it?" said the sculptor in a thin voice, +with high notes which came surprisingly through the thicket of tangled +hair about the cavern of his mouth. + +"Who shall paint Beryl as Ceres?" + +"I refuse to be painted by anyone as Ceres!" said Miss Van Tuyn, almost +viciously. + +"It ought to have been Leighton. But he's been translated. I suggested +McEvoy." + +"Oh, Lord! He'd take the substance out of her, make her transparent!" + +"I have it then! Orpen! It shall be Orpen! Then she will be hung on the +line." + +"You talk as if I were the week's washing," said Miss Van Tuyn, +recovering herself. "But I would rather be on the clothes-line than on +the line at the Royal Academy. No, Dick, I shall wait." + +"What for, my girl?" + +"For you to get over your acute attack of Cafe Royal. You don't know how +they laugh at you in Paris for always painting morphinomanes and chloral +drinkers. That sort of thing was done to death in France in the youth of +Degas. It may be new over here. But England always lags behind in art, +always follows at the heels of the French. You are too big a man--" + +"I've got it, Smith," said Garstin, interrupting in the quiet even voice +of one who had been indulging an undisturbed process of steady thought, +and who now announced the definite conclusion reached. "I have it. Frank +Dicksee is the man!" + +At this moment Jennings, who for some time had been uneasily groping +through his beard, and turning the rings round and round on his thin +damp fingers, broke in with a flood of speech about modern French art, +in which names of all the latest painters of Paris spun by like twigs on +a spate of turbulent water. The Georgians were soon up and after him +in full cry. It was now nearly closing time, and several friends of +Garstin's, models and others, who had been scattered about in the cafe, +and who were on their way out, stopped to hear what was going on. Some +adherents of Jennings also came up. The discussion became animated. +Voices waxed roaringly loud or piercingly shrill. The little Bolshevik, +suddenly losing her round faced calm and the shepherdess look in +her eyes, burst forth in a voluble outcry in praise of the beauty of +anarchy, expressing herself in broken English, spoken with a cockney +accent, in broken French and liquid Russian. Enid Blunt, increasingly +guttural, and mingling German words with her Bedford Park English, +refuted, or strove to refute, Jennings's ecstatic praise of French +verse, citing rapidly poems composed by members of the Sitwell group, +songs of Siegfried Sassoon, and even lyrics by Lady Margaret Sackville +and Miss Victoria Sackville West. Jennings, who thought he was still +speaking about pictures and statues, though he had now abandoned the +painters and sculptors to their horrid fates in the hands of Garstin and +Smith, replied with a vivacity rather Gallic than British, and finally, +emerging almost with passion from his native language, burst into the +only tongue which expresses anything properly, and assailed his enemy +in fluent French. Thapoulos muttered comments in modern Greek. And the +Turkish refugee from Smyrna quoted again and again the words of praise +from Pierre Loti, which had made of him a moral wreck, a nuisance to all +who came into contact with him, a mere prancing megalomaniac. + +Miss Van Tuyn did not join in the carnival of praises and condemnations. +She had suddenly recovered her mental balance. Her native irony was +roused from its sleep. She was once more the cool, self-possessed and +beautiful girl from whose violet eyes satire looked out on all those +about her. + +"Let them all make fools of themselves for my benefit," was her +comfortable thought as she listened to the chatter of tongues. + +Even Garstin was being thoroughly absurd, although his adherents stood +round catching his vociferations as if they were so many precious +jewels. + +"The most ridiculous human beings in the world at certain moments +are those who work in the arts," was Miss Van Tuyn's mental comment. +"Painters, poets, composers, novelists! All these people are living in +blinkers. They can't see the wide world. They can only see studies and +studios." + +She wished she had Craven with her to share in her silent irony. At that +moment she felt some of the very common conceit of the rich dilettante, +who tastes but who never creates, for whom indeed most of the creation +is arduously accomplished. + +"They sweat for me, exhaust themselves for me, tear each other to pieces +for me! If I were not here, if the world contained no such products +as Beryl Van Tuyn and her like, female and male, what would all the +Garstins, and Jenningses and Smiths and Enid Blunts do?" + +And she felt superior in her incapacity to create because of her +capacity to judge. Wrongly she might, and probably did, judge, but she +and her like judged, spent much of their lives in eagerly judging. And +the poor creators, whatever they might say, whatever airs they +might give themselves, toiled to gain the favourable judgment of the +innumerable Beryl Van Tuyns. + +Closing time put an end at last to the fracas of tongues. Even geniuses +must be driven forth from the electric light to the stars, however +unwilling to go into a healthy atmosphere. + +There was a general movement. Miss Van Tuyn put on her hat and fur +coat, the latter with the assistance of Jennings. Garstin slipped into +a yellow and brown ulster, and jammed a soft hat on to his head with its +thick tangle of hair. He lit another cigar and waved his hand to Cora, +who was on her way out with a friend. + +"A free woman--by God!" he said once more, swinging round to where Miss +Van Tuyn was standing between Jennings and Thapoulos. "I'll paint her +again. I'll make a masterpiece of her." + +"I'm sure you will. But now walk with me to the Hyde Park Hotel. It's on +your way to Chelsea." + +"She doesn't care whether I paint her or not. Cora doesn't care. Art +means nothing to her. She's out for life, hunks of life. She's after +life like a hungry dog after the refuse on a scrap heap. That's why I'll +paint her. She's hungry. Look at her face." + +Miss Van Tuyn, perhaps moved by the sudden, almost ferocious urgency +of his loud bass voice, turned to have a last look at the woman who was +"out for life"; but Cora was already lost in the crowd, and instead +of gazing into the dead-white face which suggested to her some strange +putrefaction, she gazed full into the face of a man. He was not far +off--by the doorway through which people were streaming out into Regent +Street--and he happened to be looking at her. She had been expecting to +see a whiteness which was corpse-like. Instead she was almost startled +by the sight of a skin which suggested to her one of her own precious +bronzes in Paris. It was certainly less deep in colour, but its smooth +and equal, unvarying tint of brown somehow recalled to her those +treasures which she genuinely loved and assiduously collected. And he +was marvellously handsome as some of her bronzes were handsome, with +strong, manly, finely cut features--audacious features, she thought. His +mouth specially struck her by its full-lipped audacity. He was tall and +had an athletic figure. She could not help swiftly thinking what a +curse the modern wrappings of such a figure were; the tubes of cloth +or serge--he wore blue serge--the unmeaning waistcoat with tie and +pale-blue collar above it, the double-breasted jacket. And then she +saw his eyes. Magnificent eyes, she thought them, soft, intelligent, +appealing, brown like his skin and hair. And they were gazing at her +with a sort of sympathetic intention. + +Suddenly she felt oddly restored. Really she had had a bad evening. +Things had not gone quite right for her. She had saved the situation in +a measure just at the end by taking refuge in irony. But in her irony +she had been quite alone. And to be quite alone in anything is apt to +be dull. Craven had let her down. Lady Sellingworth had not played +the game--or had played it too well, which was worse. Garstin had been +unusually tiresome with his allusions to the Royal Academy and his +preposterous concentration on the Cora woman. + +This brown stranger's gaze was really like manna falling from heaven in +a hungry land. She boldly returned the gaze, stared, trusting to her own +beauty. And as she stared she tried to sum up the stranger, and failed. +She guessed him a little over thirty, but not much. And there somehow, +after the quick, instinctive guess at his age, she stuck. + +"Come on, Beryl!" + +Garstin's deep strong voice startled her. At that moment she felt angry +with him for calling her by her Christian name, though he had done it +ever since they had first made friends--if they were friends--in Paris +two years ago, when he had come to have a look at her bronzes with a +French painter whom she knew well. + +"You are going to walk back with me?" + +"To be sure I am. He is devilish good looking, but he ought to be out of +those clothes." + +"Dick!" + +He smiled at her sardonically. She knew that he seldom missed anything, +but his sharp observation in the midst of the squash of people going +out of the cafe took her genuinely aback. And then he had got at her +thought, at one of her most definite thoughts at least, about the brown +stranger! + +"You are disgustingly clever," she said, as they made their way out, +followed by the Georgians and their attendant cosmopolitans. "I believe +I dislike you for it to-night." + +"Then take a cab home and I'll walk." + +"No, thank you. I'd rather endure your abominable intelligence." + +He smiled, curling up the left corner of his sensual mouth. + +"Come on then. Don't bother about good-byes to all these fools. They'll +never stop talking if they once begin good-bying. Like sheep they don't +know how to get away from each other since they've been herded together. +Come on! Come on!" + +He thrust an arm through hers and almost roughly, but forcibly, got her +away through the throng. As he did so she was pushed by, or accidentally +pushed against, several people. For a brief instant she was in contact +with a man. She felt his side, the bone of one of his hips. It was the +man who had looked at her in the cafe. She saw in the night the gleam +of his big brown eyes looking down into hers. Then she and Garstin were +tramping--Garstin always seemed to be tramping when he walked--over the +pavement of Regent Street. + +"Catch on tight! Let's get across and down to Piccadilly." + +"Very well." + +Presently they were passing the Ritz. They got away from the houses on +that side. Now on their left were the tall railings that divided them +from the stretching spaces of the Park shrouded in the darkness and +mystery of night. + +"Well, my girl, what are you after?" said Garstin, who never troubled +about the conventionalities, and seemed never to care what anyone +thought of him and his ways. "Go ahead. Let me have it. I'm not +coming in to your beastly hotel, you know. So get on with your bow wow +Dowager." + +"So you remember that I had begun--" + +"Of course I do." + +"Do you ever miss anything--let anything escape you?" + +"I don't know. Well, what is it?" + +"I wanted to tell you something about Lady Sellingworth which has +puzzled me and a friend of mine. It is a sort of social mystery." + +"Social! Oh, Lord!" + +"Now, Dick, don't be a snob. You are a snob in your pretended hatred of +all decent people." + +"D'you call your society dames decent?" + +"Be quiet if you can! You're worse than a woman." + +He did not say anything. His horsey profile looked hard and +expressionless in the night. As she glanced at it she could not help +thinking of Newmarket. He ought surely to have been a jockey with that +face and figure. + +"You are listening?" + +He said nothing. But he turned his face and she saw the two pin-points +of light. That was enough. She told him about the theft of Lady +Sellingworth's jewels, her neglect of all endeavour to recover them, her +immediate plunge into middle-age after the theft, and her avoidance of +general society ever since. + +"What do you make of it?" she asked, when she had finished. + +"Make of it?" + +"Yes." + +"Does your little mind find it mysterious?" + +"Well, isn't it rather odd for a woman who loses fifty thousand pounds' +worth of jewels never to try to get them back?" + +"Not if they were stolen by a lover." + +"You think--" + +"It's as obvious as that Martin, R.A., can't paint and I can." + +"But I believe they were stolen at the _Gare du Nord_. Now does that +look like a lover?" + +"I didn't say the _Gare du Nord_ looked like a lover." + +"Don't be utterly ridiculous." + +"I don't care where they were stolen--your old dowager's Gew-gaws. +Depend upon it they were stolen by some man she'd been mixed up with, +and she knew it, and didn't dare to prosecute. I can't see any mystery +in the matter." + +"Perhaps you are right." + +"Of course I am right." + +Miss Van Tuyn said nothing for two or three minutes. Her mind had gone +from Lady Sellingworth to Craven, and then flitted on--she did not know +why--to the man who had gazed at her so strangely in the Cafe Royal. She +had been feeling rather neglected, badly treated almost, and his look +had restored her to her normal supreme self-confidence. That fact would +always be to the stranger's credit. She wondered very much who he was. +His good looks had almost startled her. She began also to wonder what +Garstin had thought of him. Garstin seldom painted men. But he did so +now and then. Two of his finest portraits were of men: one a Breton +fisherman who looked like an apache of the sea, the other a Spanish +bullfighter dressed in his Sunday clothes with the book of the Mass +in his hand. Miss Van Tuyn had seen them both. She now found herself +wishing that Garstin would paint a portrait of the man who had looked +at her. But was he a Cafe Royal type? At present Garstin painted nothing +which did not come out of the Cafe Royal. + +"That man--" she said abruptly. + +"I was just wondering when we should get to him!" interjected Garstin. +"I thought your old dowager wouldn't keep us away from him for long." + +"I suppose you know by this time, Dick, that I don't care in the least +what you think of me." + +"The only reason I bother about you is because you are a thoroughly +independent cuss and have a damned fine head." + +"Why don't you paint me?" + +"I may come to it. But if I do I'm mortally afraid they'll make an +academician of me. Go on about your man." + +"Didn't you think him a wonderful type?" + +"Yes." + +"Tell me! If you want to paint someone, what do you do?" + +"Do? Go up and tell him or her to come along to the studio." + +"Whether you know them or not?" + +"Of course." + +"You ought to paint that man." + +"Just because you want me to pick hum up and then introduce him to you. +I don't paint for reasons of that kind." + +"Have you ever seen him before to-night?" + +"Yes. I saw him last night." + +"For the first time?" + +"Yes." + +"At the Cafe Royal?" + +"Yes." + +"What do you think he is?" + +"Probably a successful blackmailer." + +For some obscure reason Miss Van Tuyn felt outraged by this opinion of +Garstin. + +"The fact is," she said, but in quite an impersonal voice, "that your +mind is getting warped by living always among the scum of London, and +by studying and painting only the scum. It really is a great pity. A +painter ought to be a man of the world, not a man of the underworld." + +"And the _a propos_ of all this?" asked Garstin + +"You are beginning to see the morphia maniac, the drunkard, the cocaine +fiend, the prostitute, the--" + +"Blackmailer?" + +"Yes, the blackmailer, if you like, in everyone you meet. You live in +a sort of bad dream, Dick. You paint in a bad dream. If you go on like +this you will lose all sense of the true values." + +"But I honestly do believe the man you want me to pick up and then +introduce to you to be a successful blackmailer." + +"Why? Do you know anything about him?" + +"Absolutely nothing." + +"Then your supposition about him is absurd and rather disgusting." + +"It isn't a supposition." + +"What is it then?" + +"Perhaps you don't realize, my girl, that I'm highly sensitive." + +"You seldom seem so. But, of course, I realize that you couldn't paint +as you do unless you were." + +"Instead of using the word supposition in connexion with a fellow +like myself your discrimination should have led you to choose the word +instinct." + +"Oh?" + +"Let's cross over. Catch on!" + +They crossed to the side of the road next to Hyde Park. + +"My instinct tells me that the magnificently handsome man who stared +at you to-night is of the tribe that lives by making those who are +indiscreetly susceptible to beauty pay heavy tribute, in hard cash +or its equivalent. He is probably a king in the underworld. Perhaps I +really will paint him. No, I'm not coming in." + +He left her on the doorstep of the hotel and tramped off towards +Chelsea. + + + +CHAPTER II + +Craven went away from Berkeley Square that night still under the +spell and with a mind unusually vivid and alive. As he had told Lady +Sellingworth, he was now twenty-nine and no longer considered himself +young. At the F.O. there are usually a good many old young men, just as +in London society there are always a great many young old women. Craven +was one of the former. He was clever, discreet and careful in his work. +He was also ambitious and intended to rise in the career he had chosen. +To succeed he knew that energy was necessary, and consequently he +was secretly energetic. But his energy did not usually show above the +surface. Tradition rather forbade that. He had a quiet, even a lazy +manner as a rule, and he thought he often felt old, especially in +London. There was something in the London atmosphere which he considered +antagonistic to youth. He had felt decades younger in Italy, especially +when his ambassador had taken him to Naples in summer-time. But that was +all over now. It might be a long time before he was again attached +to an embassy. + +When he reached his rooms, or, rather, his flat, which was just off +Curzon Street, he went to look at his bookshelves, and ran his finger +along them until he came to the poems of William Watson, which were next +to Rupert Brooke's poems. After looking at the index he found the lyric +he wanted, sat down, lit his pipe, and read it four times, thinking of +Lady Sellingworth. Then he put away the book and meditated. Finally--it +was after one o'clock--he went almost reluctantly to bed. + +In the morning he, of course, felt different--one always feels different +in the morning--but nevertheless he was aware that something definite +had come into his life which had made a change in it. This something was +his acquaintance with Lady Sellingworth. Already he found it difficult +to believe that he had lived for twenty-eight years without knowing her. + +He was one of those rather unusual young men who feel strongly the +vulgarity of their own time, and who have in them something which seems +at moments to throw back into the past. Not infrequently he felt that +this mysterious something was lifting up the voice of the _laudator +temporis acti_. But what did he, the human being who contained this +voice and many other voices, know of those times now gone? They seemed +to draw him in ignorance, and had for him something of the fascination +which attaches to the unknown. And this fascination, or something akin +to it, hung about Lady Sellingworth, and even about the house in which +she dwelt, and drew him to both. He knew that he had never been in any +house in London which he liked so much as he liked hers, that in no +other London house had he ever felt so much at home, so almost curiously +in place. The mere thought of the hall with its blazing fire, its +beehive-chair, its staircase with the balustrade of wrought ironwork and +gold, filled him with a longing to return to it, to hang up his hat--and +remain. And the lady of the house was ideally right in it. He wondered +whether in the future he would often be there, whether Lady Sellingworth +would allow him to be one of the few real intimates to whom her door was +open. He hoped so; he believed so; but he was not quite certain about +it. For there was something elusive about her, not insincere but just +that--elusive. She might not care to see very much of him although he +knew that she liked him. They had touched the fringe of intimacy on the +preceding night. + +After his work at the Foreign Office was over he walked to the club, +and the first man he saw on entering it was Francis Braybrooke just back +from Paris. Braybrooke was buying some stamps in the hall, and greeted +Craven with his usual discreet cordiality. + +"I'll come in a moment," he said. "If you're not busy we might have a +talk. I shall like to hear how you fared with Adela Sellingworth." + +Craven begged him to come, and in a few minutes they were settled in two +deep arm-chairs in a quiet corner, and Craven was telling of his first +visit to Berkeley Square. + +"Wasn't I right?" said Braybrooke. "Could Adela Sellingworth ever be a +back number? I think that was _your_ expression." + +Craven slightly reddened. + +"Was it?" + +"I think so," said Braybrooke, gently but firmly. + +"I was a--a young fool to use it." + +"I fancy it's a newspaper phrase that has pushed its way somehow into +the language." + +"Vulgarity pushes its way in everywhere now. Braybrooke, I want to +thank you very much for your introduction to Lady Sellingworth. You were +right. She has a wonderful charm. It's a privilege for a young man, as +I am I suppose, to know her. To be with her makes life seem more what it +ought to be, what one wants it to be." + +Braybrooke looked extremely pleased, almost touched. + +"I am glad you appreciate her," he said. "It shows that real distinction +has still a certain appeal. And so you met Beryl Van Tuyn there." + +"Do you know her?" + +Braybrooke raised his eyebrows. + +"Know her? How should I not know her when I am constantly running over +to Paris?" + +"Then I suppose she's very much 'in it' there?" + +"Yes. She is criticized, of course. She lives very unconventionally, +although Fanny Cronin is always officially with her." + +"Fanny Cronin?" + +"Her _dame de compagnie_." + +"Oh, the lady who reads Paul Bourget!" + +"I believe she does. Anyhow, one seldom sees her about. Beryl Van Tuyn +is very audacious. She does things that no other lovely girl in her +position would ever dare to do, or could do without peril to her +reputation. But somehow she brings them off. Mind, I haven't a word +to say against her. She is exceedingly clever and has mastered the +difficult art of making people accept from her what they wouldn't accept +for a moment from any other unmarried girl in society. She may be said +to have a position of her own. Do you like her?" + +"Yes, I think I do. She is lovely and very good company." + +"Frenchmen rave about her." + +"And Frenchwomen?" + +"Oh, they all know her. She carries things through. That really is the +art of life, to be able to carry things through. Her bronzes are quite +remarkable. By the way, she has an excellent brain. She cares for +the arts. She is by no means a fribble. I have been surprised by her +knowledge more than once." + +"She seems very fond of Lady Sellingworth. She wants to get her over to +Paris." + +"Adela Sellingworth won't go." + +"Why not?" + +"She seems to hate Paris now. It is years since she had stayed there." + +After a pause Craven said: + +"Lady Sellingworth is something of a mystery, I think. I wonder--I +wonder if she feels lonely in that big house of hers." + +"Far more people feel lonely than seem lonely," said Braybrooke. + +"I expect they do. But I think that somehow Lady Sellingworth seems +lonely. And yet she is full of mockery." + +"Mockery?" + +"Yes. I feel it." + +"But didn't you find her very kind?" + +"Oh, yes. I meant of self-mockery." + +Braybrooke looked rather dubious. + +"I think," continued Craven, perhaps a little obstinately, "that she +looks upon herself with irony, while Miss Van Tuyn looks upon others +with irony. Perhaps, though, that is rather a question of the different +outlooks of youth and age." + +"H'm?" + +Braybrooke pulled at his grey-and-brown beard. + +"I scarcely see--I scarcely see, I confess, why age should be more +disposed to self-mockery than youth. Age, if properly met and +suitably faced--that is, with dignity and self-respect, such as Adela +Sellingworth undoubtedly shows--has no reason for self-mockery; whereas +youth, although charming and delightful might well laugh occasionally at +its own foolishness." + +"Ah, but it never does!" + +"I think for once I shall have a cocktail," said Braybrooke, signing to +an attendant in livery, who at that moment came from some hidden region +and looked around warily. + +"You will join me, Craven? Let it be dry Martinis. Eh? Yes! Two dry +Martinis." + +As the attendant went away Braybrooke added: + +"My dear boy, if you will excuse me for saying so, are you not getting +the Foreign Office habit of being older than your years? I hope you will +not begin wearing horn spectacles while your sight is still unimpaired." + +Craven laughed and felt suddenly younger. + +The two dry Martinis were brought, and the talk grew a little more +lively. Braybrooke, who seldom took a cocktail, was good enough to allow +it to go to his head, and became, for him, almost unbuttoned. Craven, +entertained by his elderly friend's unwonted exuberance, talked more +freely and a little more intimately to him than usual, and presently +alluded to the events of the previous night, and described his +expedition to Soho. + +"D'you know the _Ristorante Bella Napoli_?" he asked Braybrooke. +"Vesuvius all over the walls, and hair-dressers playing Neapolitan +tunes?" + +Braybrooke did not, but seemed interested, for he cocked his head to one +side, and looked almost volcanic for a moment over the tiny glass in +his hand. Craven described the restaurant, the company, the general +atmosphere, the Chianti and Toscanas, and, proceeding with artful +ingenuity, at last came to his climax--Lady Sellingworth and Miss Van +Tuyn in their corner with their feet on the sanded floor and a smoking +dish of Risotto alla Milanese before them. + +"Adela Sellingworth in Soho! Adela Sellingworth in the midst of such a +society!" exclaimed the world's governess with unfeigned astonishment. +"What could have induced her--but to be sure, Beryl Van Tuyn is famous +for her escapades, and for bringing the most unlikely people into them. +I remember once in Paris she actually induced Madame Marretti to go +to--ha--ah!" + +He pulled himself up short. + +"These Martinis are surely very strong!" he murmured into his beard +reproachfully. + +"I don't think so." + +"My doctor tells me that all cocktails are rank poison. They set up +fermentation." + +"In the mind?" asked Craven. + +"No--no--in the--they cause indigestion, in fact. How poor Adela +Sellingworth must have hated it!" + +"I don't think she did. She seemed quite at home. Besides, she has been +to many of the Paris cafes. She told me so." + +"It must have been a long time ago. And in Paris it is all so different. +And you sat with them?" + +Craven recounted the tale of the previous evening. When he came to the +Cafe Royal suggestion the world's governess looked really outraged. + +"Adela Sellingworth at the Cafe Royal!" he said. "How could Beryl Van +Tuyn? And with a Bolshevik, a Turkish refugee--from Smyrna too!" + +"There were the Georgians for chaperons." + +"Georgians!" said Braybrooke, with almost sharp vivacity. "I really hate +that word. We are all subjects of King George. No one has a right to +claim a monopoly of the present reign. I--waiter, bring me two more dry +Martinis, please." + +"Yes, sir." + +"What was I saying? Oh, yes--about that preposterous claim of certain +groups and coteries! If anybody is a Georgian we are all Georgians +together. I am a Georgian, if it comes to that." + +"Why not? But Lady Sellingworth is definitely not one." + +"How so? I must deny that, really. I know these young poets and painters +like to imagine that everyone who has had the great honour of living +under Queen Victoria--" + +"Forgive me! It isn't that at all." + +"Well, then--oh, our dry Martinis! How much is it, waiter?" + +"Two shillings, sir." + +"Two--thank you. Well, then, Craven, I affirm that Lady Sellingworth is +as much a Georgian as any young person who writes bad poetry in Cheyne +Walk or paints impossible pictures in Glebe Place." + +"She would deny that. She said, in my presence and in that of Sir +Seymour Portman and Miss Van Tuyn, that she did not belong to this age." + +"What an--what an extraordinary statement!" said Braybrooke, drinking +down his second cocktail at a gulp. + +"She said she was--or rather, had been--an Edwardian. She would not have +it that she belonged to the present day at all." + +"A whim! It must have been a whim! The best of women are subject to +caprice. It is the greatest mistake to class yourself as belonging to +the past. It dates you. It--it--it practically inters you!" + +"I think she meant that her glory was Edwardian, that her real life was +then. I don't think she chooses to realize how immensely attractive she +is now in the Georgian days." + +"Well, I really can't understand such a view. I shall--when I meet +her--I shall really venture to remonstrate with her about it. And +besides, apart from the personal question, one owes something to one's +contemporaries. Upon my word, I begin to understand at last why certain +very charming women haven't a good word to say for Adela Sellingworth." + +"You mean the 'old guard,' I suppose?" + +"I don't wish to mention any names. It is always a mistake to mention +names. One cannot guard against it too carefully. But having done what +she did ten years ago dear Adela Sellingworth should really--but it is +not for me to criticise her. Only there is nothing people--women--are +more sensitive about than the question of age. No one likes to be laid +on the shelf. Adela Sellingworth has chosen to--well--one might feel +such a very drastic step to be quite uncalled for--quite uncalled for. +And so--but you haven't told me! Did Adela Sellingworth allow herself to +be persuaded to go to the Cafe Royal?" + +"No, she didn't." + +"Thank God for that!" said the world's governess, looking immensely +relieved. + +"I escorted her to Berkeley Square." + +"Good! good!" + +"But we walked to the door of the Cafe Royal." + +"What--down Shaftesbury Avenue?" + +"Yes!" + +"Past the Cafe Monico and--Piccadilly Circus?" + +"Yes!" + +"What time was it?" + +"Well after ten." + +"Very unsuitable! I must say that--very unsuitable! That corner by the +Monico at night is simply chock-a-block--I--I should say, teems, that's +the word--teems with people whom nobody knows or could ever wish to +know. Beryl Van Tuyn should really be more careful. She grows quite +reckless. And Adela Sellingworth is so tall and unmistakable. I do hope +nobody saw her." + +"I'm afraid scores of people did!" + +"No, no! I mean people she knows--women especially." + +"I don't think she would care." + +"Her friends would care _for_ her!" retorted Braybrooke, almost +severely. "To retire from life is all very well. I confess I think it a +mistake. But that is merely one man's opinion. But to retire from life, +a great life such as hers was, and then after ten years to burst forth +into--into the type of existence represented by Shaftesbury Avenue +and the Cafe Royal, that would be unheard of, and really almost +unforgivable." + +"It would, in fact, be old wildness," said Craven, with a faint touch of +sarcasm. + +"Old wildness! What a very strange expression!" + +"But I think it covers the suggested situation. And we know what old +wildness is--or if we don't some of the 'old guard' can teach us. But +Lady Sellingworth will never be the one to give us such a horrible +lesson. If there is a woman in London with true dignity, dignity of the +soul, she has it. She has almost too much of it even. I could almost +wish she had less." + +Braybrooke looked suddenly surprised and then alertly observant. + +"Less dignity?" he queried, after a slight but significant pause. + +"Yes." + +"But can a _grande dame_, as she is, ever have too much dignity of the +soul?" + +"I think even such a virtue as that can be carried to morbidity. It may +become a weapon against the happiness of the one who has it. Those who +have no dignity are disgusting. As Lady Sellingworth said to me, they +create nausea--" + +"Nausea!" interrupted Braybrooke, in an almost startled voice. + +"Yes--in others. But those who have too much dignity wrap themselves up +in a secret reserve, and reserve shuts out natural happiness, I think, +and creates loneliness. I'm sure Lady Sellingworth feels terribly alone +in that beautiful house. I know she does." + +"Has she told you so?" + +"Good heavens--no. But she never would." + +"She need not be alone," observed Braybrooke. "She could have a +companion to-morrow." + +"I can't imagine her with a Fanny Cronin." + +"I don't mean a _dame de compagnie_. I mean a husband." + +Craven's ardent blue eyes looked a question. + +"Seymour Portman is always there waiting and hoping." + +"Sir Seymour?" cried Craven. + +"Well, why not?" said Braybrooke, almost with severity. "Why not?" + +"But his age!" + +The world's governess, who was older than Sir Seymour, though not a soul +knew it, looked more severe. + +"His age would be in every way suitable to Adele Sellingworth's," he +said firmly. + +"Oh, but--" + +"Go on!" + +"I can't see an old man like Sir Seymour as _her_ husband. Oh, no! It +wouldn't do. She would never marry such an old man. I am certain of +that." + +Braybrooke pinched his lips together and felt for his beard. + +"I hope," he said, lifting and lowering his bushy eyebrows, "I hope, at +any rate, she will never be so foolish as to marry a man who is what +is called young. That would be a terrible mistake, both for her and +for him. Now I really must be going. I am dining to-night rather early +with--oh, by the way, it is with one of your chiefs--Eric Learington. +A good fellow--a good fellow! We are going to some music afterwards at +Queen's Hall. Good-bye. I'm very glad you realize Adela Sellingworth's +great distinction and charm. But--" He paused, as if considering +something carefully; then he added: + +"But don't forget that she and Seymour Portman would be perfectly +suitable to one another. She is a delightful creature, but she is no +longer a young woman. But I need not tell you that." + +And having thus done the needless thing he went away, walking with a +certain unwonted self-consciousness which had its source solely in dry +Martinis. + + + +CHAPTER III + +Craven realized that he had "given himself away" directly Braybrooke was +gone. The two empty glasses stood on a low table in front of his chair. +He looked at them and for an instant was filled with anger against +himself. To be immortal--he was old-fashioned enough to believe +surreptitiously in his own immortality--and yet to be deflected from +the straight path of good sense by a couple of dry Martinis! It was +humiliating, and he raged against himself. + +Braybrooke had certainly gone away thinking that he, Craven, had fallen +in love with Lady Sellingworth. That thought, too, might possibly +have come out of one of those little glasses, the one on the left. But +nevertheless it would stick in Braybrooke's mind long after the Martinis +were forgotten. + +And what if it did? + +Craven said that to himself, but he felt far less defiant than +sensitively uncomfortable. He was surprised by himself. Evidently he had +not known his own feelings. When Braybrooke mentioned Seymour Portman +as a suitable husband for Lady Sellingworth something strong, almost +violent, had risen up in Craven to protest. What was that? And why was +he suddenly so angry? He was surely not going to make a fool of himself. +He felt almost youthfully alarmed and also rather excited. An odd sense +of romance suddenly floated about him. Did that too come from those +cursed dry Martinis? Impossible to be sure for the moment. He found +himself wondering whether teetotallers knew more about their souls than +moderate drinkers, or less. + +But the odd sense of romance persisted when the effect of the dry +Martinis must certainly have worn off. It was something such as +Craven had never known, or even imagined before. He had had his little +adventures, and about them had thrown the woven robes that gleam with +prismatic colours; he had even had deeper, passionate episodes--as he +thought them--in his life. As he had acknowledged in the _Ristorante +Bella Napoli_ he had seldom or never started on a journey abroad without +a secret hope of romance meeting him on the way. And sometimes it had +met him. Or so he had believed at the time. But in all these episodes of +the past there had been something definitely physical, something almost +horribly natural, a prompting of the body, the kind of thing which +belongs to youth, any youth, and which any doctor could explain in a few +crude words. Even then, in those now dead moments, Craven had sometimes +felt sensitive youth's impotent anger at being under the yoke which is +laid upon the necks of innumerable others, clever, dull, aristocratic, +common, the elect and the hopelessly vulgar. + +In this new episode he was emancipated from that. He was able to feel +that he was peculiar, if not unique. In the strong attraction which drew +him towards Lady Sellingworth there was certainly nothing of the--well, +to himself he called it "the medically physical." Something of the body +there might possibly be. Indeed, perhaps it was impossible that there +should not be. But the predominant factor had nothing whatever to do +with the body. He felt certain of that. + +When he got home from the Club he found on his table a note from Beryl +Van Tuyn: + + +HYDE PARK HOTEL, Thursday. + +My dear Mr. Craven,--What a pity you couldn't get away last night. +But you were quite right to play Squire of Dames to our dear Lady +Sellingworth. We had a rather wonderful evening after you had gone. Dick +Garstin was in his best vein. Green chartreuse brings out his genius in +a wonderful way. I wish it would do for me what it does for him. But +I have tried it--in small doses--quite in vain. He and I walked home +together and talked of everything under the stars. I believe he is going +to paint me. Next time you make your way to the Bella Napoli we might +go together. Two lovers of Italy must always feel at home there, and +the sight of Vesuvius is encouraging, I think. So don't forget that my +"beat," as you call it, often lies in Soho. + +Isn't dear Adela Sellingworth delightful? She looked like a wonderful +antique in that Italian frame. I love every line in her face and would +give my best bronze to have white hair like hers. But somehow I am +almost glad she didn't fall to the Cafe Royal. She is right. It is too +Georgian for her. She is, as she says, definitely Edwardian and would +scarcely understand the new jargon which comes as easily as how d'you do +to _our_ lips. + +By the way, coming out of the Cafe Royal last night I saw a living +bronze.--Yours, + +BERYL VAN TUYN. + + +This note half amused and half irritated Craven on a first reading. On +a second reading irritation predominated in him. Miss Van Tuyn's +determined relegation of Lady Sellingworth to the past seemed somehow +to strike at him, to make him--or to intend to make him--ridiculous; and +her deliberate classing of him with herself in the underlined "_our_" +seemed rather like an attempt to assert authority, the authority of +youth over him. But no doubt this was very natural. Craven was quite +sure that Miss Van Tuyn cared nothing about him. But he was a not +disagreeable and quite presentable young man; he had looked into her +violet eyes, had pressed her hand, had held it longer than was at all +necessary, had in fact shown that he was just a young man and easily +susceptible; and so she did not choose to let an elderly woman take +possession of him even for an hour without sharpening a weapon or two +and bringing them into use. + +No wonder that men are conceited when women so swiftly take up arms on +their account! + +For a moment Craven almost disliked Miss Van Tuyn, and made up his mind +that there would be no "next time" for him in Soho while she was in +London. He knew that whenever they met he would feel her attraction; +but he now classed it with those attractions of the past which were +disgustingly explicable, and which just recently he had learnt to +understand in a way that was almost old. + +Was he putting on horn spectacles while his eyesight was still +unimpaired? He felt doubtful, almost confused for a moment. Was his new +feeling for Lady Sellingworth subtly pulling him away from his youth? +Where was he going? Perhaps this new sensation of movement was only +deceptive; perhaps he was not on the way to an unknown region. For +a moment he wished that he could talk freely, openly, with some +understanding friend, a man of course. But though he had plenty of +men friends he could not think of one he would be able to confide his +present feelings to. + +Already he began to realize the human ridicule which always attends upon +any departure from what, according to the decision of all absolutely +ordinary people, is strictly normal. + +Everybody would understand and approve if he were to fall desperately +in love with Beryl Van Tuyn; but if he were to prefer a great friendship +with Lady Sellingworth to a love affair with her youthful and beautiful +friend no one would understand, and everybody would be ready to laugh +and condemn. + +He knew this and yet he felt obstinate, mulish almost, as he sat down to +reply non-committally to Miss Van Tuyn's letter. It was only when he did +this that he thought seriously about its last words. + +Why had she troubled to write them down? Comparatively young though he +was he knew that a woman's "by the way" usually means anything rather +than what it seems to mean--namely, a sentence thrown out by chance +because it has just happened to turn up in the mind. "A living bronze." +Miss Van Tuyn was exceptionally fond of bronzes and collected them with +enthusiasm. She knew of course the Museum at Naples. Craven had often +visited it when he had been staying at the Villa Rosebery. He could +remember clearly almost every important bronze in that wonderful +collection. He realized what "a living bronze" must mean when written of +by a woman. Miss Van Tuyn had evidently seen an amazingly handsome man +coming out of the Cafe Royal. But why should she tell him about it? +Perhaps her motive was the very ordinary one, an attempt to rouse the +swift jealousy of the male animal. She was certainly "up" to all +the usual feminine tricks. He thoroughly realized her vanity and, +contrasting it with Lady Sellingworth's apparently almost careless lack +of self-consciousness, he wondered whether Lady Sellingworth could ever +have been what she was said to have been. If so, as a snake sheds its +skin she must surely have sloughed her original nature. He was thankful +for that, thankful for her absolute lack of pose and vanity. He even +delighted in her self-mockery, divined by him. So few women mocked at +themselves and so many mocked at others. + +If Miss Van Tuyn had intended to give a flick to his jealousy at the end +of her letter she had failed. If she met fifty living bronzes and added +them to her collection it was nothing to him. He compared his feeling +when Braybrooke had suggested Seymour Portman as a husband for Lady +Sellingworth with his lack of feeling about Miss Van Tuyn and her +bronze, and he was almost startled. And yet Miss Van Tuyn was lovely and +certainly did not want him to go quite away out of her ken. And, when +she chose, she had made him very foolish about her. + +What did it all mean? + +He wrote a little letter in answer to hers, charmingly polite, but +rather vague about Soho. At the end of it, before signing himself +"Yours"--he could do no less with her letter before him--he put, "I +feel rather intrigued about the living bronze. Was it in petticoats or +trousers?" + + + +CHAPTER IV + +Craven had been right in his supposition about the world's governess. +Braybrooke had gone away from the Club that evening firmly persuaded +that his young friend had done the almost unbelievable thing, had fallen +in love with Adela Sellingworth. He was really perturbed about it. +A tremulous sense of the fitness of things governed his whole life, +presided as it were over all his actions and even over most of his +thoughts. He instinctively shrank from everything that was bizarre, +from everything that was, as he called it, "out of keeping." He +was responsible for the introduction of young Craven into Adela +Sellingworth's life. It would be very unfortunate indeed, it would be +almost disastrous, if the result of that well-meant introduction were to +be a preposterous passion! + +When the effect of the two cocktails had subsided he tried to convince +himself that he was giving way to undue anxiety, that there was really +nothing in his supposition except alcohol taken in the afternoon. But +this effort failed. He had lived a very long time, much longer than +almost anyone knew; he was intimately familiar with the world, and, +although unyieldingly discreet himself, was well acquainted with its +follies and sins. Life had taught him that practically nothing is +impossible. He had known old men to run--or rather to walk--off with +young girls; he had known old women to be infatuated with mere boys; he +had known well-born women to marry grooms and chauffeurs; a Peer of his +acquaintance had linked himself to a cabman's daughter and stuck to +her; chorus girls of course perpetually married into the Peerage; human +passions--although he could not understand it--ran as wild as the roots +of eucalyptus trees planted high within reach of water. So he could not +rule out as impossible a sudden affection for Adela Sellingworth in +the heart of young Craven. It was really very unfortunate. Feeling +responsible, he thought perhaps he ought to do something discreetly. The +question was--what? + +Braybrooke was inclined to be a matchmaker, though he had neglected to +make one match, his own. Thinking things over now, he said to himself +that it was quite time young Craven settled down. He was a very +promising fellow. Eric Learington, of whom he had made some casual +inquiries during the interval between the two parts of the concert at +Queen's Hall, had spoken quite warmly about Craven's abilities, industry +and ambition. No doubt the young man would go far. But he ought to have +a clever wife with some money to help him. A budding diplomatist needs a +wife more than most men. He is destined to do much entertaining. Social +matters are a part of his duty, of his career. A suitable wife was +clearly indicated for young Craven. And it occurred to the world's +governess that as he had apparently done harm unwittingly, or approached +the doing of harm, by introducing Craven to dear Adela Sellingworth, it +was incumbent on him to try to do good, if possible, by now knocking the +harm on the head, of course gently, as a well-bred man does things. + +Beryl Van Tuyn came into his mind. + +As he had told Craven, he knew her quite well and knew all about her. +She came of an excellent American family in Philadelphia. She was +the only child of parents who could not get on together, and who were +divorced. Both her father and mother had married again. The former lived +in New York in Fifth Avenue; the latter, who was a beauty, was usually +somewhere in Europe--now on the Riviera, now in Rome, at Aix, in Madrid, +in London. She sometimes visited Paris, but seldom stayed long anywhere. +She professed to be fond of Beryl, but the truth was that Beryl was far +too good looking to be desirable as her companion. She loved her child +intensely--at a distance. Beryl was quite satisfied to be at a distance, +for she had a passion for independence. Her father gave her an ample +allowance. Her mother had long ago unearthed Fanny Cronin from some lair +in Philadelphia to be her official companion. + +Braybrooke knew all this, knew about how much money Miss Van Tuyn had, +and about how much she would eventually have. Without being vulgarly +curious, he somehow usually got to know almost everything. + +Beryl Van Tuyn would be just the wife for young Craven when she had +settled down. She was too independent, too original, too daring, and far +too unconventional for Braybrooke's way of thinking. But he believed her +to be really quite all right. Modern Americans held views about personal +liberty which were not at all his, but that did not mean that they were +not entirely respectable. Beryl Van Tuyn was clever, beautiful, had +plenty of money. As a diplomatist's wife, when she had settled down, +she would be quite in her element. After some anxious thought he decided +that it was his duty to try to pull strings. + +The ascertained fact that Craven had met Adela Sellingworth and Beryl +Van Tuyn on the same day and together, and that the woman of sixty had +evidently attracted him far more than the radiant girl of twenty-four, +did not deter Braybrooke from his enterprise. His long experience of +the world had led him to know that human beings can, and perpetually do, +interfere successfully in each other's affairs, help in making of +what are called destinies, head each other off from the prosecution of +designs, in fact play Providence and the Devil to each other. + +His laudable intention was to play Providence. + +On the following day he considered it his social duty to pay a call at +Number 18A, Berkeley Square. Dear Adela Sellingworth would certainly +wish to know how things were going in Paris. Although she now never went +there, and in fact never went anywhere, she still, thank God, had an +interest in what was going on in the world. It would be his pleasure to +gratify it. + +He found her at home and alone. But before he was taken upstairs the +butler said he was not sure whether her ladyship was seeing anyone and +must find out. He went away to do so, and returned with an affirmative +answer. + +When Braybrooke came into the big drawing-room on the first floor he +fancied that his friend was looking older, and even paler, than usual. +As he took her hand he thought, "Can I be right? Is it possible that +Craven can imagine himself in love with her?" + +It was an uncomplimentary thought, and he tried to put it from him as +singularly unsuitable, and indeed almost outrageous at this moment, +but it would not go. It defied him and stuck firmly in his mind. In his +opinion Adela Sellingworth was the most truly distinguished woman in +London. But that she should attract a young man, almost indeed a boy, in +_that_ way! It did really seem utterly impossible. + +In answer to his inquiry, Lady Sellingworth acknowledged that she had +not been feeling very well during the last two days. + +"Perhaps you have been doing too much?" he suggested. + +The mocking look came into her eyes. + +"But what do I ever do now?" she said. "I lie quietly on my shelf. That +surely can't be very exhausting." + +"No one would ever connect you with being laid on the shelf," said +Braybrooke; "your personality forbids that. Besides, I hear that you +have been having quite a lively time." + +He paused--it was his conception of the pause dramatic--then added: + +"At the foot of a volcano!" + +"Ah! you have heard about Vesuvius!" + +"Yes." + +"What a marvellous gatherer of news you are! Beryl Van Tuyn?" + +"No. I happened to meet young Craven at the St. James's Club, and he +told me of your excursion into Bohemia." + +"Bohemia!" she said. "I haven't set foot in that entertaining country +since I gave up my apartment in Paris. Soho is beyond its borders. But I +confess to Soho. Beryl persuaded me, and I really quite enjoyed it. The +coffee was delicious, and the hairdressers put their souls into their +guitars. But I doubt if I shall go there again." + +"It tired you? The atmosphere in those places is so mephitic." + +"Oh, I didn't mind that. Besides, we blew it away by walking home, at +least part of the way home." + +"Down Shaftesbury Avenue? That was surely rather dangerous." + +"Dangerous! Why?" + +"The sudden change from stuffiness to cold and damp. Craven spoke +of Toscanas. And those cheap restaurants are so very small and badly +ventilated." + +"Oh, we enjoyed our walk." + +"That's good. Craven was quite enthusiastic about the evening." + +Again the pause dramatic! + +"He's a nice boy. I hope you liked him. I feel a little responsible--" + +"Do you? But why?" + +"Because I ventured to introduce him to you." + +"Oh, don't worry. I assure you I like him very much." + +Her tone was very casual, but quite cordial. + +"Well, he was enthusiastic about the evening, said it was like a bit of +Italy. You know he was once at the embassy in Rome." + +"Yes. He told me so." + +"I hear very good accounts of him from the Foreign Office. Eric +Learington speaks very well of him. He ought to rise high in the +career." + +"I hope he will. I like to see clever young men get on. And he certainly +has something in him." + +"Yes, I think so too. By the way, he seems tremendously taken with Miss +Van Tuyn." + +As the world's governess said this he let his small hazel eyes fix +themselves rather intently on Lady Sellingworth's face. He saw no +change of expression there. She still looked tired, but casual, neither +specially interested nor in the least bored. Her brilliant eyes still +held their slightly mocking expression. + +"Beryl must be almost irresistible to young men," she said. "She +combines beauty with brains, and she has the audacity which nearly +always appeals to youth. Besides, unconventionality is really the salt +of our over-civilized life, and she has it in abundance. She doesn't +merely pretend to it. It is part of her." + +"She may grow out of it in time." + +"I hope she won't," said Lady Sellingworth, rather decisively. "If she +did she would lose a great deal of her charm." + +"Well, but when she marries?" + +"Is she thinking of marrying?" + +"Girls of her age usually are, I fancy." + +"If she marries the right man he won't mind her unconventionality. He +may even enjoy it." + +It occurred to Braybrooke that Adela Sellingworth was supposed to have +done a great many unconventional things at one time. Nevertheless he +could not help saying: + +"I think most husbands prefer their wives to keep within bounds." + +"Beryl may never marry," said Lady Sellingworth, rather thoughtfully. +"She is an odd girl. I could imagine--" + +She paused, but not dramatically. + +"Yes?" he said, with gentle insinuation. + +"I could imagine her choosing to live a life of her own." + +"What, like Caroline Briggs?" he said. + +Lady Sellingworth moved, and her face changed, suddenly looked more +expressive. + +"Ah, Caroline!" she said. "I am very fond of her. She is one in a +thousand. But she and Beryl are quite different in character. Caroline +lives for self-respect, I think. And Beryl lives for life. Caroline +refuses, but Beryl accepts with both hands." + +"Then she will probably accept a husband some day." + +Suddenly Lady Sellingworth changed her manner. She leaned forward +towards the world's governess, smiled at him, and said, half +satirically, half confidentially: + +"Now what is it you have in the back of your mind?" + +Braybrooke was slightly taken aback. He coughed and half closed his +eyes, then gently pulled up his perfectly creased trousers, taking hold +of them just above the knees. + +"I really don't think--" he began. + +"You and I are old friends. Do tell me." + +He certainly had not come intending to be quite frank, and this sudden +attack rather startled him. + +"You have formed some project," she continued. "I know it. Now let me +guess what it is." + +"But I assure you--" + +"You have found someone whom you think would suit Beryl as a husband. +Isn't that it?" + +"Well, I don't know. I confess it had just occurred to me that with her +beauty, her cleverness, and her money--for one has to think of money, +unfortunately in these difficult days--she would be a very desirable +wife for a rising ambitious man." + +"No doubt. And who is he?" + +It was against all Braybrooke's instincts to burst out abruptly into +the open. He scarcely knew what to do. But he was sufficiently sharp to +realize that Lady Sellingworth already knew the answer to her question. +So he made a virtue of necessity and replied: + +"It had merely occurred to me, after noting young Craven's enthusiasm +about her beauty and cleverness, that he might suit her very well. He +must marry and marry well if he wishes to rise high in the diplomatic +career." + +"Oh, but some very famous diplomatists have been bachelors," she said, +still smiling. + +She mentioned two or three. + +"Yes, yes, I know, I know," he rejoined. "But it is really a great +handicap. If anyone needs a brilliant wife it is an ambassador." + +"You think Mr. Craven is destined to become an ambassador?" + +"I don't see why not--in the fullness of time, of course. Perhaps you +don't know how ambitious and hard-working he is." + +"I know really very little about him." + +"His abilities are excellent. Learington has a great opinion of him." + +"And so you think Beryl would suit him!" + +"It just occurred to me. I wouldn't say more than that. I have a horror +of matchmaking." + +"Of course. Like all of us! Well, you may be right. She seemed to like +him. You don't want me to do anything, I suppose?" + +"Oh, no--no!" he exclaimed, with almost unnecessary earnestness, and +looking even slightly embarrassed. "I only wished to know your opinion. +I value your opinion so very highly." + +She got up to stir the fire. He sprang, or rather got, up too, rather +quickly, to forestall her. But she persisted. + +"I know my poker so well," she said. "It will do things for me that it +won't do for anyone else. There! That is better." + +She remained standing by the hearth, looking tremendously tall. + +"I don't think I have an opinion," she said. "Beryl would be a brilliant +wife for any man. Mr. Craven seems a very pleasant boy. They might do +admirably together. Or they might both be perfectly miserable. I can't +tell. Now do tell me about Paris. Did you see Caroline Briggs?" + +When Braybrooke left Berkeley Square that day he remembered having once +said to Craven that Lady Sellingworth was interested in everything that +was interesting except in love affairs, that she did not seem to care +about love affairs. And he had a vague feeling of having, perhaps, for +once done the wrong thing. Had he bored her? He hoped not. But he was +not quite sure. + +When he had gone, and she was once more alone. Lady Sellingworth rang +the bell. A tall footman came in answer to it, and she told him that +if anyone else called he was to say, "not at home." As he was about to +leave the room after receiving this order she stopped him. + +"Wait a moment." + +"Yes, my lady." + +She seemed to hesitate; then she said: + +"If Mr. Craven happens to call I will see him. He was here two nights +ago. Do you know him by sight?" + +"I can't say I do, my lady." + +"Ah! You were not in the hall when he called the other day?" + +"No, my lady." + +"He is tall with dark hair, about thirty years old. Murgatroyd is not in +to-day, is he?" + +"No, my lady." + +"Then if anyone calls like the gentleman I have described just ask him +his name. And if it is Mr. Craven you can let him in." + +"Yes, my lady." + +The footman went out. A clock chimed in the distance, where the piano +stood behind the big azalea. It was half past five. Lady Sellingworth +made up the fire again, though it did not really need mending; then she +stood beside it with one narrow foot resting on the low fender, holding +her black dress up a little with her left hand. + +Was Fate going to leave her alone? That was how she put it to herself. +Or was she once more to be the victim of a temperament which she had +sometimes hoped was dying out of her? In these last few years she had +suffered less and less from it. + +She had made a grand effort of will. That was now ten years ago. It +had cost her more than anyone would ever know; it had cost her those +terrible tears of blood which only the soul weeps. But she had persisted +in her effort. A horrible incident, humiliating her to the dust, had +summoned all the pride that was left in her. In a sort of cold frenzy +of will she had flung life away from her, the life of the woman who was +vain, who would have worship, who would have the desire of men, the life +of the beauty who would have admiration. All that she had clung to +she had abandoned in that dreadful moment, had abandoned as by night a +terrified being leaves a dwelling that is in flames. Feeling naked, she +had gone out from it into the blackness. And for ten years she had +stuck to her resolution, had been supported by the strength of her will +fortified by a hideous memory. She had grasped her nettle, had pressed +it to her bosom. She had taken to her all the semblance of old age, +loneliness, dullness, had thrust away from her almost everything +which she had formerly lived by. For, like almost all those who yield +themselves to a terrific spasm of will, she had done more than it was +necessary for her to do. From one extreme she had gone to another. As +once she had tried to emphasize youth, she had emphasized the loss of +youth. She had cruelly exposed her disabilities to an astonished world, +had flung her loss of beauty, as it were, in the faces of the "old +guard." She had called all men to look upon the ravages Time had brought +about in her. Few women had ever done what she had done. + +And eventually she had had a sort of reward. Gradually she had been +enclosed by the curious tranquillity that habit, if not foolish or +dangerous, brings to the human being. Her temperament, which had long +been her enemy, seemed at last to lie down and sleep. There were times +when she had wondered whether perhaps it would die. And she had come +upon certain compensations which were definite, and which she had learnt +how to value. + +By slow degrees she had lost the exasperation of desire. The lust of the +eye, spoken of to her by Caroline Briggs in Paris on the evening which +preceded her enlightenment, had ceased to persecute her because she had +taught herself deliberately the custody of the eye. She had eventually +attained to self-respect, even to a quiet sense of personal dignity, not +the worldly dignity of the _grande dame_ aware of her aristocratic birth +and position in the eyes of the world, but the unworldly dignity of the +woman who is keeping her womanhood from all degradation, or possibility +of degradation. Very often in those days she had recalled her +conversation with Caroline Briggs in the Persian room of the big house +in the Champs-Elysees. Caroline had spoken of the women who try to defy +the natural law, and had said that they were unhappy women, laughed at +by youth, even secretly jeered at. For years she, Adela Sellingworth, +had been one of those women. And often she had been very unhappy. That +misery at least was gone from her. Her nerves had quieted down. She who +had been horribly restless had learnt to be still. Sometimes she was +almost at peace. Often and often she had said to herself that Caroline +was right, that the price paid by those who flung away their dignity of +soul, as she had done in the past, was terrible, too terrible almost for +endurance. At last she could respect herself as she was now; at last she +could tacitly claim and hope to receive the respect of others. She no +longer decked out her bones in jewels. Caroline did not know the reason +of the great and startling change in her and in her way of life, and +probably supposed both to be due to that momentous conversation. Anyhow, +since then, whenever she and Lady Sellingworth had met, she had been +extraordinarily kind, indeed, almost tender; and Lady Sellingworth knew +that Caroline had taken her part against certain of the "old guard" who +had shown almost acute animosity. Caroline Briggs now was perhaps Lady +Sellingworth's best friend. For at last they were on equal terms; and +that fact had strengthened their friendship. But Caroline was quite +safe, and Lady Sellingworth from time to time had realized that for her +life might possibly still hold peculiar dangers. There had been moments +in those ten years of temptation, of struggle, of a rending of the heart +and flesh, which nobody knew of but herself. But as the time went on, +and habit more and more asserted its sway, they had been less and less +frequent. Calm, resignation had grown within her. There was none of the +peace that passeth understanding, but sometimes there was peace. But +even when there was, she was never quite certain that she had absolutely +conquered herself. + +Men and women may not know themselves thoroughly, but they usually know +very well whether they have finally got the better of a once dominating +tendency or vice, or whether there is still a possibility of their +becoming again its victim. In complete victory there is a knowledge +which nothing can shake from its throne. That knowledge Lady +Sellingworth had never possessed. She hoped, but she did not know. For +sometimes, though very seldom, the old wildness seemed to stir within +her like a serpent uncoiling itself after its winter's sleep. Then she +was frightened and made a great effort, an effort of fear. She set her +heel on the serpent, and after a time it lay still. Sometimes, too, the +loneliness of her life in her spacious and beautiful house became almost +intolerable to her. This was especially the case at night. She did not +care to show a haggard and lined face and white hair to her world when +it was at play. And though she had defied the "old guard," she did not +love meeting all those women whom she knew so well, and who looked so +much younger and gayer than she did. So she had many lonely evenings +at home, when her servants were together below stairs, and she had for +company only the fire and a book. + +The dinner in Soho had been quite an experience for her, and though she +had taken it so simply and casually, had seemed so thoroughly at home +and in place with her feet on the sanded floor, eating to the sound of +guitars, she had really been inwardly excited. And when she had looked +up and seen Craven gazing towards her she had felt an odd thrill at the +heart. For she had known Italy, too, as well as she had known Paris, and +had memories connected with Italy. And the guitars had spoken to her of +days and nights which her will told her not to think of any more. + +And now? Was Fate going to leave her alone? Or was she once more going +to be attacked? Something within her, no doubt woman's instinct, scented +danger. + +Braybrooke's visit had disturbed her. She had known him for years, and +knew the type of man he was--careful, discreet, but often very busy. He +had a kind heart, but a brain which sometimes wove little plots. On the +whole he was a sincere man, except, of course, sometimes socially, but +now and then he found it necessary to tell little lies. Had he told her +a little lie that day about young Craven and Beryl Van Tuyn? Had he been +weaving the first strands of a little plot--a plot like a net--and was +it his intention to catch her in it? She knew he had had a definite +motive in coming to see her, and that the motive was not connected with +his visit to Paris. + +His remarks about Craven had interested her because she was interested +in Craven, but it was not quite clear to her why Braybrooke should +suddenly concentrate on the young man's future, nor why he should, +with so much precaution, try to get at her opinion on the question of +Craven's marriage. When Braybrooke had first spoken to her of Craven he +had not implied that he and Craven were specially intimate, or that he +was deeply interested in Craven's concerns or prospects. He had +merely told her that Craven was a clever and promising "boy," with an +interesting mind and a nice nature, who had a great desire to meet her. +And she had good-naturedly said that Craven might call. It had all been +very casual. But Braybrooke's manner had now completely changed. He +seemed to think he was almost responsible for the young man. There had +even been something furtive in his demeanour when speaking about Craven +to her, and when she had forced him to explain and to say what was in +his mind, for a moment he had been almost confused. + +What had it to do with her whether Craven married Beryl Van Tuyn or did +not marry her? + +Although she had been interested when Braybrooke had spoken of Craven's +cleverness and energy, of his good prospects in his career, and of the +appreciation of Eric Learington--a man not given to undue praises--she +had been secretly irritated when he had come to the question of Beryl +Van Tuyn and the importance of Craven's marrying well. Why should he +marry at all? And if he must, why Beryl Van Tuyn? + +Lady Sellingworth hated the thought of that marriage and the idea that +Braybrooke was probably intent on trying to bring it about, or at any +rate was considering whether he should make the endeavour, roused in her +resentment against him. + +"Tiresome old man!" she said to herself, as she stood by the fire. "Why +won't he let things alone? What business is it of his?" + +And then she felt as if Braybrooke were meditating a stroke against her, +and had practically asked her to help him in delivering the blow. + +She felt that definitely. And immediately she had felt it she was +startled, and the strong sensation of being near to danger took hold of +her. + +In all the ten years which had passed since the theft of her jewels +she had never once deliberately stretched out her hands to happiness. +Palliatives she had made the most of; compensations she had been +thankful for. She had been very patient, and considering what she had +been, very humble. But she had definitely given up the thought of ever +knowing again any intimate personal happiness. That book was closed. In +ten years she had never once tried to open it. + +And now, suddenly, without even being definitely conscious of what she +was doing, she had laid her hands on it as if--The change in her, the +abrupt and dangerous change, had surely come about two nights ago. And +she felt now that something peculiar in Craven, rather than something +unusual in herself, had caused it. + +Beryl Van Tuyn and she were friends because the girl had professed a +cult for her, had been very charming to her, and, when in London, had +persistently sought her out. Beryl had amused her. She had even been +interested in Beryl because she had noted in her certain traits which +had once been predominant in herself. And how she had understood Beryl's +vanity, Beryl's passion for independence and love of the unconventional! +Although they were so different, of different nations and different +breeds, there was something which made them akin. And she had recognized +it. And, recognizing it, she had sometimes felt a secret pity and even +fear for the girl, thinking of the inevitable fading of that beauty, +of the inevitable exasperation of that vanity with the passing of the +years. The vanity would grow and the beauty would diminish as time went +on. And then, some day, what would Beryl be? For in her vanity there was +already exaggeration. In it she had already reached a stage which had +only been gained by Lady Sellingworth at a much later period in life. +Already she looked in the highways and byways for admiration. She sought +for it even among Italian hairdressers! Some day it would make her +suffer. + +Lady Sellingworth had seen young Craven go away from his visit to her +in Beryl's company with perhaps just a touch of half-ironical amusement, +mingled with just a touch of half-wistful longing for the days that +were over and done with. She knew so well that taking possession of +a handsome young man on a first meeting. There was nothing in it but +vanity. She had known and had done that sort of thing when she was a +reigning beauty. Craven had interested and pleased her at once; she +hardly knew why. There was something about him, about his look, +bearing and manner which was sympathetic to her. She had felt a quiet +inclination to know more of him. That was all. Seymour Portman had liked +him, too, and had said so when the door had closed behind the young +couple, leaving the old couple to themselves. He would come again some +day, no doubt. And while she and Sir Seymour had remained by the fire +talking quietly together, in imagination she had seen those two, +linked by their youth--that wonderful bond--walking through the London +twilight, chattering gaily, laughing at trifling jokes, realizing their +freemasonry. And she had asked herself why it was that she could not +feel that other freemasonry--of age. Seymour Portman had loved her for +many years, loved her now, had never married because of her, would give +up anything in London just to be quietly with her, would marry her now, +ravaged though she was, worn, twice a widow, with a past behind her +which he must know about, and which was not edifying. And yet she could +not love him, partly, perhaps chiefly, because there was still rooted in +her that ineradicable passion--it must be that, even now, a passion--for +youth and the fascination of youth. When at last he had gone she had +felt unusually bitter for a few minutes, had asked herself, as human +beings ask themselves every day, the eternal why. "Why, why, why am I as +I am? Why can't I care for the suitable? Why can't I like the gift held +out to me? Why doesn't my soul age with my body? Why must I continue +to be lonely just because of the taint in my nature which forbids me to +find companionship in one who finds perfect companionship in me? Why--to +sum up--am I condemned eternally to be myself?" + +There was no answer. The voice was not in the whirlwind. And presently +she had dismissed those useless, those damnable questions, which only +torture because they are never answered. + +And then had come the night in Soho. And there for the first time since +they had known each other she had felt herself to be subtly involved in +a woman's obscure conflict with Beryl Van Tuyn. She was not conscious +of having taken up weapons. Nevertheless she had no doubt about the +conflict. And on her side any force brought into play against her +beautiful friend must have issued simply from her personality, from some +influence, perhaps from some charm, which she had not deliberately used. +(At least she thought she was being sincere with herself in telling +herself that.) Craven had been the cause of the conflict, and certainly +he had been fully aware of Beryl Van Tuyn's part in it. And he had +shown quiet determination, willfulness even. That willfulness of his had +pleased Lady Sellingworth more than anything had pleased her for a +very long time. It had even touched her. At first she had thought +that perhaps it had been prompted by chivalry, by something charmingly +old-fashioned, and delicately gentlemanly in Craven. Later on she had +been glad--intimately, warmly glad--to be quite sure that something more +personal had guided him in his conduct that night. + +He had simply preferred her company to the company of Beryl Van Tuyn. +She was woman enough to rejoice in that fact. It was even rather +wonderful to her. And it had given Craven a place in her estimation +which no one had had for ten years. + +Beryl's pressure upon him had been very definite. She had practically +told him, and asked him, to do a certain thing--to finish the evening +with her. And he had practically denied her right to command, and +refused her request. He had preferred to the Georgians and their lively +American contemporary, sincerely preferred, an Edwardian. + +The compliment was the greater because the Edwardian had not encouraged +him. Indeed in a way he had really defied her as well as Beryl Van Tuyn. + +She had loved his defiance. When he had flatly told her he did not +intend to go back to the Cafe Royal she had felt thankful to him--just +that. And just before his almost boyish remark, made with genuine +vexation in his voice, about the driving of London chauffeurs had given +her a little happy thrill such as she had not known for years. + +She had not had the heart to leave him on her doorstep. + +But now, standing by the fire, she knew that it would have been safer to +have left him there. And it would be safer now to ring the bell, summon +the footman, and say that she was not at home to anyone that afternoon. +While she was thinking this the footman entered the room. Hearing him +she turned sharply. + +"What is it?" + +"Sir Seymour Portman has called, my lady. I told him you were not at +home. But he asked me to make quite sure." + +Lady Sellingworth hesitated. After a moment's pause she said, in a dry +voice: + +"Not at home." + +The footman went out. + +There are moments in life which are full of revelation. That was such +a moment for Lady Sellingworth. When she had heard the door open her +instinct had played her false. She had turned sharply feeling certain +that Craven had called. The reaction she felt when she heard the name of +Sir Seymour told her definitely that she was in danger. She felt angry +with herself, even disgusted, as well as half frightened. + +"What a brute I am!" + +She formed those words with her lips. An acute sense of disappointment +pervaded her because Craven had not come, though she had no reason +whatever to expect him. But she was angry because of her feeling about +Seymour Portman. It was horrible to have such a tepid heart as hers was +when such a long and deep devotion was given to it. The accustomed thing +then made scarcely any impression upon her, while the thing that was +new, untried, perhaps worth very little, excited in her an expectation +which amounted almost to longing! + +"How can Seymour go on loving such a woman as I am?" she thought. + +Stretching herself a little she was able to look into an oval Venetian +mirror above the high marble frame of the fireplace. She looked to +scourge herself as punishment for what she was feeling. + +"You miserable, ridiculous old woman!" she said to herself, as she saw +her lined face which the mirror, an antique one, slightly distorted. + +"You ought to be thankful to have such a friendship as Seymour's!" + +She said that, and she knew that if, disobeying her order to the +footman, he had come upstairs, her one desire would have been to get rid +of him, at all costs, to get him and his devotion out of the house, lest +Craven should come and she should not have Craven alone. If Seymour knew +that surely even his love would turn into hatred! + +And if Craven knew! + +She felt that day as if all the rampart of will, which ten years' labour +had built up between her and the dangers and miseries attendant upon +such a temperament as hers, were beginning before her eyes to crumble +into dust, touched by the wand of a maleficent enchanter. + +And it was Craven's fault. He should have been like other young men, +obedient to the call of beauty and youth; he should have been wax in +Beryl Van Tuyn's pretty hands. Then this would never have happened, this +crumbling of will. He had done a cruel thing without being aware of his +cruelty. He had been carried away by something that was not primarily +physical. And in yielding to that uncommon impulse, which proved that +he was not typical, he had set in activity, in this hidden and violent +activity, that which had been sleeping so deeply as to seem like +something dead. + +As Lady Sellingworth looked into the Venetian mirror, which made her +ugliness of age look uglier than it was, she regretted sharply that she +had allowed herself to grow old in this fearfully definite way. It was +too horrible to look like this and to be waiting eagerly, with an almost +deceiving eagerness, for the opening of a door, a footfall, the sound +of a voice that was young. Mrs. Ackroyd, Lady Archie Brook--they looked +surely twenty years younger than she did. She had been a fool! She had +been a passionate, impulsive fool! + +No; she was being a fool now. + +If only Caroline Briggs were in London! At that moment Lady Sellingworth +longed to be defended against herself. She felt that she was near to the +edge of a precipice, but that perhaps a strong hand could pull her away +from it into the safety she had known for ten years. + +"I am sixty. That settles it. There is nothing to be excited about, +nothing to look for, nothing to draw back from or refuse. The fact that +I am sixty and look as I do settles the whole matter." + +They were brave words, but unfortunately they altered nothing. +Feeling was untouched by them. Even conviction was not attained. Lady +Sellingworth knew she was sixty, but she felt like a woman of thirty at +that moment. And yet she was not deceived, was not deceiving herself. +She did know--or felt that she absolutely knew--that the curious spell +she had evidently been able, how she scarcely knew, to exert upon Craven +during his visit to her that night could not possibly be lasting. He +must be a quite unusual young man, perhaps even in some degree abnormal. +But even so the fascination he had felt, and had shown that he felt, +could not possibly be a lasting fascination. In such matters she _knew_. + +Therefore surely the way was plain before her. Ten years ago she had +made up her mind, as a woman seldom makes up her mind. She had seen +facts, basic facts, naked in a glare of light. Those facts had not +changed. But she had changed. She was ten years older. The horror of +passing into the fifties had died out in the cold resignation of passing +into the sixties. Any folly now would be ten times more foolish than a +folly of ten years ago. She told herself that, reiterated it. + +The clock struck six. She heard it and turned from the fire. Certainly +Craven would not call now. It was too late. Only a very intimate friend +would be likely to call after six o'clock, and Craven was not a very +intimate friend, but only a new acquaintance whom she had been with +twice. When he had said good-bye to her after their long talk by the +fire on the night of the dinner in Soho she had said nothing about his +coming again. And he had not mentioned it. But she had felt then that +to speak of such a thing was quite unnecessary, that it was tacitly +understood between them that of course he would come again, and +soon. And she believed that he had felt as she did. For despite her +self-mockery, and even now when looking back, she had known, and still +knew, that they had gone quite a long way together in a very short time. + +That happens sometimes; but perhaps very seldom when one of the +travellers is sixty and the other some thirty years younger. Surely +something peculiar in Craven rather than something unusual in herself +had been at the root of the whole thing. + +That night he had seemed so oddly at home in her house, and really he +had seemed so happy and at ease. They had talked about Italy, and he +had told her what Italy meant to him, quite simply and without any pose, +forgetting to be self-conscious in the English way. He had passed a +whole summer on the bay of Naples, and he had told her all about it. And +in the telling he had revealed a good deal of himself. The prelude in +Soho had no doubt prepared the way for such talk by carrying them to +Naples on wings of music. They would not have talked just like that +after a banal dinner at Claridge's or the Carlton. Craven had shown the +enthusiasm that was in him for the sun, the sea, life let loose from +convention, nature and beautiful things. The Foreign Office young +man--quiet, reserved, and rather older than his years--had been pushed +aside by a youth who had some Pagan blood in him, who had some agreeable +wildness under the smooth surface which often covers only other layers +of smoothness. He had told her of his envy of the sea people and she had +understood it; and, in return, she had told him of an American boy whom +she had known long ago, and who, fired by a book about life on the bay +of Naples which he had read in San Francisco, had got hold of a little +money, taken ship to Naples, gone straight to the point at Posilpipo, +and stayed there among the fishermen for nearly two years, living their +life, eating their food, learning to speak their argot, becoming at +length as one of them. So thoroughly indeed had he identified himself +with them that often he had acted as boatman to English and American +tourists, and never had his nationality been discovered. In the end, of +course, he had gone back to San Francisco, and she believed, was now a +lawyer in California. But at least he had been wise enough to give up +two years to a whim, and had bared his skin to the sun for two glorious +summers. And not everyone has the will to adventure even so far as that. + +Then they had talked about the passion for adventure, and Craven had +spoken of his love, not yet lost, for Browning's poem, "Waring"; how he +had read it when quite a boy and been fascinated by it as by few other +poems. He had even quoted some lines from it, and said them well, taking +pains and not fearing any criticism or ridicule from her. And they +had wondered whether underneath the smooth surface of Browning, the +persistent diner out, there had not been far down somewhere a brown and +half-savage being who, in some other existence, had known life under +lateen sails on seas that lie beyond the horizon line of civilization. +And they had spoken of the colours of sails, of the red, the brown, the +tawny orange-hued canvases, that, catching the winds under sunset skies, +bring romance, like some rare fruit from hidden magical islands, upon +emerald, bright-blue or indigo seas. + +The talk had run on without any effort. They had been happily sunk in +talk. She had kept the fire from her face with the big fan. But the fire +had lit his face up sometimes and the flames had seemed to leap in his +eyes. And watching him without seeming to watch him the self-mockery had +died out of her eyes. She had forgotten to mock at herself and had let +herself go down the stream: floating from subject to subject, never +touching bottom, never striking the bank, never brought up short by an +obstacle. It had been a perfect conversation. Even her imp must have +been quite absorbed in it. For he had not tormented her during it. + +But at last the clock had struck one, just one clear chiming blow. And +suddenly Craven had started up. His blue eyes were shining and a dusky +red had come into his cheeks. And he had apologized, had said something +about being "carried away" beyond all recollection of the hour. She +had stayed where she was and had bidden him good night quietly from the +sofa, shutting up her fan and laying it on a table. And she had said: +"I wonder what it was like with the Georgians!" And then he had again +forgotten the hour, and had stood there talking about the ultra-modern +young people of London as if he were very far away from them, were much +older, much simpler, even much more akin to her, than they were. He had +prefaced his remarks with the words, "I had forgotten all about them!" +and she had felt it was true. Beryl Van Tuyn's name had not been +mentioned between them. But she was not a Georgian. Perhaps that fact +accounted for the omission, or perhaps there were other reasons for +their not speaking of her just then. She had done her best to prevent +the evening intimacy which had been theirs. And they both knew it. +Perhaps that was why they did not speak of her. Poor Beryl! Just then +Lady Sellingworth had known a woman's triumph which was the sweeter +because of her disadvantages. Thirty-six years older than the young and +vivid beauty! And yet he had preferred to end his evening with her! He +must be an unusual, even perhaps a rather strange man. Or else--no, the +tremendous humiliation she had endured ten years ago, acting on a nature +which had always been impaired by a secret diffidence, had made her too +humble to believe any longer that she had within herself the conqueror's +power. He was not like other young men. That was it. She had come upon +an exceptional nature. Exceptional natures love, hate, are drawn and +repelled in exceptional ways. The rules which govern others do not apply +to them. Craven was dangerous because he was, he must be, peculiar. + +When at last he had left her that night it had been nearly half-past +one. But he had not apologized again. In going he had said: "Thank God +you refused to go to the Cafe Royal!" + +Nearly half-past one! Lady Sellingworth now looked at the clock. It was +nearly half-past six. + +She had a lonely dinner, a lonely evening before her. + +Suddenly all her resignation seemed to leave her, to abandon her, as if +it had had enough of her and could not bear to be with her for another +minute. She saw her life as a desert, without one flower, one growing +green thing in it. How had she been able to endure it for so long? It +was a monstrous injustice that she should be condemned to this horrible, +unnerving loneliness. What was the use of living if one was entirely +alone? What was the use of money, of a great and beautiful house, of +comfort and leisure, if nobody shares them with you? People came to see +her, of course. But what is the use of visitors, of people who drop in, +and drop out just when you most need someone to help you in facing life, +in the evenings and when deep night closes in? At that moment she felt, +in her anger and rebellion, that she had never had anything in her life, +that all the women she knew--except perhaps Caroline Briggs--had had +more than herself, had had a far better time than she had had. During +the last ten years her brilliant past had faded until now she could +scarcely believe in it. It had become like a pale aquarelle. Her memory +retained events, of course, but they seemed to have happened in the life +of someone she had known intimately rather than of herself. They were +to her like things told rather than like things lived. There were times +when she even felt innocent. So much had she changed during the last ten +years. And now she revolted, like a woman who had never lived and wanted +to live for the first time, like a woman who had never had anything and +who demanded possession. She even got up and stood out in the big room, +saying to herself: + +"What shall I do to-night? I can't stay here all alone. I must go out. I +must do something unusual to take me out of myself. Mere stagnation here +will drive me mad. I've got to do something to get away from myself." + +But what could she do? An elderly well-known woman cannot break out of +her house in the night, like an unknown young man, and run wild in the +streets of London, or wander in the parks, seeking distractions and +adventures. + +Ten years ago in Paris she had felt something of the same angry desire +for the freedom of a man, something of the same impotence. Her curbed +wildness then had tortured her. It tortured her now. Life was in violent +activity all about her. Even the shop girls had something to look +forward to. Soon they would be going out with their lovers. She knew +something of the freedom of the modern girl. Women were beginning to +take what men had always had. But all that freedom was too late for her! +(She forgot that she had taken it long ago in Paris and felt that she +had never had it. And that feeling made part of her anger.) + +The clock struck the half-hour. + +Just then the door was opened and the footman appeared before she had +had time to move. He looked faintly surprised at seeing her standing +facing him in the middle of the room. + +"Mr. Craven has called my lady." + +"Mr. Craven! But I told you to let him in. Have you sent him away?" + +"No, my lady. But Mr. Craven wouldn't come up till I had seen your +ladyship. He said it was so late. He asked me first to tell your +ladyship he had called, and whether he might see you just for a minute, +as he had a message to give your ladyship." + +"A message! Please ask him to come up." + +The footman went out, and Lady Sellingworth went to sit down near the +fire. She now looked exactly as usual, casual, indifferent, but kind, +not at all like a woman who would ever pity herself. In a moment the +footman announced "Mr. Craven," and Craven walked in with an eager but +slightly anxious expression on his face. + +"I know it is much too late for a visit," he said. "But I thought I +might perhaps just speak to you." + +"Of course. I hear you have a message for me. Is it from Beryl?" + +He looked surprised. + +"Miss Van Tuyn? I haven't seen her." + +"Yes?" + +"I only wanted--I wondered whether, if you are not doing anything +to-night, I could persuade you to give me a great pleasure. . . . Could +I?" + +"But what is it?" + +"Would you dine with me at the _Bella Napoli_?" + +Lady Sellingworth thought of the shop girls again, but now how +differently! + +"I would come and call for you just before eight. It's a fine night. +It's dry, and it will be clear and starry." + +"You want me to walk?" + +He slightly reddened. + +"Or shall we dress and go in a taxi?" he said. + +"No, no. But I haven't said I can come." + +His face fell. + +"I will come," she said. "And we will walk. But what would Mr. +Braybrooke say?" + +"Have you seen him? Has he told you?" + +"What?" + +"About our conversation in the club?" + +"I have seen him, and I don't think he is quite pleased about +Shaftesbury Avenue. But never mind. I cannot live to please Mr. +Braybrooke. _Au revoir_. Just before eight." + +When he had gone Lady Sellingworth again looked in the glass. + +"But it's impossible!" she said to herself. "It's impossible!" + +She hated her face at that moment, and could not help bitterly +regretting the fierce impulse of ten years ago. If she had not yielded +to that impulse she might now have been looking, not at a young woman +certainly, but a woman well preserved. Now she was frankly a wreck. +She would surely look almost grotesque dining alone with young Craven. +People would think she was his grandmother. Perhaps it would be better +not to go. She was filled with a sense of painful hesitation. She came +away from the glass. No doubt Craven was "on the telephone." She might +communicate with him, tell him not to come, that she had changed her +mind, did not feel very well. He would not believe her excuse whatever +it was, but that could not be helped. Anything was better than to make +a spectacle of herself in a restaurant. She had not put Craven's address +and telephone number in her address book, but she might perhaps have +kept the note he had written to her before their first meeting. She did +not remember having torn it up. She went to her writing-table, but could +not find the note. She found his card, but it had only his club address +on it. Then she went downstairs to a morning room she had on the ground +floor. There was another big writing-table there. The telephone was +there too. After searching for several minutes she discovered Craven's +note, the only note he had ever written to her. Stamped in the left-hand +corner of the notepaper was a telephone number. + +She was about to take down the receiver when she remembered that Craven +had not yet had time to walk back to his flat from her house, even if +he were going straight home. She must wait a few minutes. She came away +from the writing-table, sat down in an armchair, and waited. + +Night had closed in. Heavy curtains were drawn across the tall windows. +One electric lamp, which she had just turned on, threw a strong light +on the writing-table, on pens, stationery, an address book, a telephone +book, a big blue-and-gold inkstand, some photographs which stood on +a ledge protected by a tiny gilded rail. The rest of the room was in +shadow. A low fire burned in the grate. + +Lady Sellingworth did not take up a book or occupy herself in any way. +She just sat still in the armchair and waited. Now and then she heard a +faint footfall, the hoot of a motor horn, the slight noise of a passing +car. And loneliness crept upon her like something gathering her into a +cold and terrible embrace. + +It occurred to her that she might ask Craven presently through the +telephone to come and dine in Berkeley Square. No one would see her with +him if she did that, except her own servants. + +But that would be a compromise. She was not fond of compromises. Better +one thing or the other. Either she would go with him to the restaurant +or she would not see him at all that night. + +If Caroline Briggs were only here! And yet if she were it would be +difficult to speak about the matter to her. If she were told of it, what +would she say? That would depend upon how she was told. If she were told +all the truth, not mere incidents, but also the feelings attending +them, she would tell her friend to give the whole thing up. Caroline was +always drastic. She always went straight to the point. + +But Caroline was in Paris. + +Lady Sellingworth looked at her watch. Craven lived not far off. He +might be at home by now. But perhaps she had better give him, and +herself, a little more time. For she was still undecided, did not yet +know what she was going to do. Impulse drove her on, but something +else, reason perhaps, or fear, or secret, deep down, painfully acquired +knowledge, was trying to hold her back. She remembered her last stay +in Paris, her hesitation then, her dinner with Caroline Briggs, the +definite decision she had come to, her effort to carry it out, the +terrible breakdown of her decision at the railway station and its +horrible result. + +Disaster had come upon her because she had yielded to an impulse ten +years ago. Surely that should teach her not to yield to an impulse +now. But the one was so different from the other, as different as that +horrible man in Paris had been from young Craven. That horrible man in +Paris! He had disappeared out of her life. She had never seen him again, +had never mentioned him to anybody. He had gone, as mysteriously as he +had come, carrying his booty with him, all those lovely things which +had been hers, which she had worn on her neck and arms and bosom, in her +hair and on her hands. Sometimes she had wondered about him, about +the mentality and the life of such a man as he was, a creature of the +underworld, preying on women, getting up in the morning, going to bed +at night, with thoughts of crime in his mind, using his gift of beauty +loathsomely. She had wondered, too, how it was that such loathsomeness +as his was able to hide itself, how it was that he could look so manly, +so athletic, even so wistful and eager for sympathy. + +But Seymour Portman had seen through him at a first glance. Evidently +that type of man had a power to trick women's instincts, but was less +successful with men. Perhaps Caroline was right, and the whole question +was simply one of the lust of the eye. + +Young Craven was good-looking too. But surely she had not been attracted +to him, brought into sympathy with him merely because of that. She hoped +not. She tried hard to think not. A woman of her age must surely be +beyond the lure of mere looks in a man unconnected with the deeper +things which make up personality. + +And yet ten years ago she had been lured towards a loathsome and utterly +abominable personality by mere looks. Certainly her nature inclined her +to be a prey to just that--the lust of the eye. + +(Caroline Briggs was horribly apposite in some of her remarks.) + +She tried to reconstitute her evenings with Craven in her imagination, +keeping the conversation exactly as it had been, but giving him a +thoroughly plain face, a bad complexion, mouse-coloured feeble hair, +undistinguished features, ordinary eyes, and a short broad figure. +Certainly it would have made a difference. But how much difference? +Perhaps a good deal. But he had enjoyed the conversation as much as she +had, and there was nothing in her appearance now to arouse the lust of +the eye. Suddenly it occurred to her that she possessed now at least +one advantage. If a young man were attracted by her it must be her +personality, herself in fact, which attracted him. It could not be her +looks. And surely it is better to attract by your personality than by +your looks. + +A woman's voice whispered within her just then, "It is better to attract +by both. Then you are safe." + +She moved uneasily. Then she got up and went to the telephone. The +chances were in favour of Craven's being in his flat by now. + +As she put her hand on the receiver, but before she took it down, Lady +Sellingworth thought of the Paris railway station, of what had happened +there, of the stern resolution she had come to that day, of the tears of +blood that had sealed it, of the will that had enabled her to stick to +it during ten years. And she thought, too, of that phrase of Caroline +Briggs's concerning the lust of the eye. + +"I won't go!" she said to herself. + +And she took the receiver down. + +Almost immediately she was put through, and heard Craven's voice at +the other end, the voice which had recited those lines from Browning's +"Waring" by the fire, saying: + +"Yes? Who is it?" + +"Lady Sellingworth," she replied. + +The sound of the voice changed at once, became eager as it said: + +"Oh--Lady Sellingworth! I have only just come in. I know what it is." + +"But how can you?" + +"I do. You want me to dress for dinner. And we are to go in a cab and be +very respectable instead of Bohemian. Isn't that it?" + +She hesitated. Then she said: + +"No; it isn't that." + +"Do tell me then!" + +"I think--I'm afraid I can't come." + +"Oh, no--it can't be that! But I have reserved the table in the corner +for us. And we are going to have gnocchi done in a special way with +cheese. Gnocchi with cheese! Please--please don't disappoint me." + +"But I haven't been very well the last two days, and I'm rather afraid +of the cold." + +"I am so sorry. But it's absolutely dry under foot. I swear it is!" + +A pause. Then his voice added: + +"Since I came in I have refused an invitation to dine out to-night. I +absolutely relied on you." + +"Yes?" + +"Yes. It was from Miss Van Tuyn, to dine with her at the _Bella +Napoli_." + +"I'll come!" said Lady Sellingworth. "Good-bye." + +And she put up the receiver. + + + +CHAPTER V + +Miss Van Tuyn had not intended to stay long in London when she came over +from Paris. But now she changed her mind. She was pulled at by three +interests--Lady Sellingworth, Craven and the living bronze. A cold hand +had touched her vanity on the night of the dinner in Soho. She had felt +angry with Craven for not coming back to the Cafe Royal, and angrier +still with Lady Sellingworth for keeping him with her. Although she did +not positively know that Craven had spent the last part of the evening +in the drawing-room at Berkeley Square, she felt certain that he had +done so. Probably Lady Sellingworth had pressed him to go in. But +perhaps he had been glad to go, perhaps he had submitted to an influence +which had carried him for the time out of his younger, more beautiful +friend's reach. + +Miss Van Tuyn resolved definitely that Craven must at once be added to +the numerous men who were mad about her. So much was due to her vanity. +Besides, she liked Craven, and might grow to like him very much if she +knew him better. She decided to know him better, much better, and wrote +her letter to him. Craven had puzzled a little over the final sentence +of that letter. There were two reasons for its apparently casual +insertion. Miss Van Tuyn wished to whip Craven into alertness by giving +his male vanity a flick. Her other reason was more subtle. Some instinct +seemed to tell her that in the future she might want to use the stranger +as a weapon in connexion with Craven. She did not know how exactly. But +in that sentence of her letter she felt that she was somehow preparing +the ground for incidents which would be brought about by destiny, or +which chance would allow to happen. + +That she would some day know "the living bronze" she felt certain. For +she meant to know him. Garstin's brutal comment on him had frightened +her. She did not believe it to be just. Garstin was always brutal in his +comments. And he lived so perpetually among shady, or more than shady, +people that it was difficult for him to believe in the decency of +anybody who was worth knowing. For him the world seemed to be divided +into the hopelessly dull and conventional, who did not count, and the +definitely outrageous, who were often interesting and worthy of being +studied and sometimes painted. It must be obvious to anyone that +the living bronze could not be numbered among the merely dull and +conventional. Naturally enough, then, Garstin supposed him to be a +successful blackmailer. Miss Van Tuyn was not going to allow herself +to be influenced by the putrescence of Garstin's mind. She had her own +views on everything and usually held to them. She had quite decided +that she would get to know the living bronze through Garstin, who +always managed to know anyone he was interested in. Being totally +unconventional and not, as he said, caring a damn about the proprieties, +if he wished to speak to someone he spoke to him, if he wished to paint +him he told him to come along to the studio. There was a simplicity +about Garstin's methods which was excused in some degree by his fame. +But if he had not been famous he would have acted in just the same way. +No shyness hindered him; no doubts about himself ever assailed him. +He just did what he wanted to do without _arriere pensee_. There was +certainly strength in Garstin, although it was not moral strength. + +The morning after the dinner in Soho Miss Van Tuyn telegraphed to Fanny +Cronin to come over at once, with Bourget's latest works, and engaged +an apartment at Claridge's. Although she sometime dined in the shadow +of Vesuvius, she preferred to issue forth from some lair which was +unmistakably smart and comfortable. Claridge's was both, and everybody +came there. Miss Cronin wired obedience and would be on the way +immediately. Meanwhile Miss Van Tuyn received Craven's note in answer to +hers. + +She grasped all its meaning, surface and subterranean, immediately. It +meant a very polite, very carefully masked, withdrawal from the sphere +of her influence. The passage about Soho was perfectly clear to her +mind, although to many it might have seemed to convey an agreeably +worded acceptance of her suggestion, only laying its translation into +action in a rather problematical future, the sort of future which would +become present when "neither of us has an engagement." + +Craven had evidently been "got at" by Adela Sellingworth. + +On the morning after Miss Van Tuyn's telegram to Paris Fanny Cronin +arrived, with Bourget's latest book in her hand, and later they settled +in at Claridge's. Miss Cronin went to bed, and Miss Van Tuyn, who had no +engagement for that evening, went presently to the telephone. Although +in her note to Craven by implication she had left it to him to suggest +a tete-a-tete dinner in Soho, she was now resolved to ask him. She was a +girl of the determined modern type, not much troubled by the delicacies +or inclined to wait humbly on the pleasure of men. If a man did not show +her the way, she was quite ready to show the way to him. Without being +precisely of the huntress type, she knew how to take bow and arrow in +her hand. + +She rang up Craven, and the following dialogue took place at the +telephone. + +"Yes? Yes?" + +"Is Mr. Craven there?" + +"Yes, I am Alick Craven. Who is it, please?" + +"Don't you know?" + +"One minute! Is it--I'm afraid I don't." + +"Beryl Van Tuyn." + +"Of course! I knew the voice at once, but somehow I couldn't place it. +How are you, Miss Van Tuyn?" + +"Dangerously well." + +"That's splendid." + +"And you?" + +"I'm what dull people call very fit and cheery." + +"How dreadful! Now, tell me--are you engaged to-night? I'm sure you +aren't, because I want you to take me to dine at the _Bella Napoli_. +We agreed to tell each other when we were free. So I take you at your +word." + +"Oh, I'm awfully sorry!" + +"What?" + +"I'm ever so sorry." + +"Why?" + +"I have a dinner engagement to-night." + +"What a bore! But surely you can get out of it?" + +"I'm afraid not. No, really I can't." + +"Send an excuse! Say you are ill." + +"I can't honestly. It's--it's rather important. Besides, the fact is, +I'm the host." + +"Oh!" + +The timbre of Miss Van Tuyn's voice changed slightly at this crisis in +the conversation. + +"Oh--if you're the host, of course. . . . You really _are_ the host?" + +"Yes, I really am. So you see!" + +"No, but I hear and understand. Never mind. Ask me another night." + +"Yes--that's it. Another night. Thank you so much. By the way, does the +living bronze--" + +"What? The living what?" + +"Bronze! . . . The living bronze--" + +"Oh, yes. Well, what about it?" + +"Does it wear petticoats or trousers?" + +"Trousers." + +"Then I think I rather hate it." + +"You--" + +But at this point the exchange intervened. Then something happened; and +then Craven heard a voice saying: + +"No, darling! It's the teeth--the teeth on the left-hand side. You know +when we were at the Carlton I was in agony. Tell Annie not to--" + +It was useless to persist. Besides, he did not want to. So he put up +the receiver. Almost immediately afterwards he was rung up by Lady +Sellingworth, hung on the edge of disappointment for an instant, and +then was caught back into happiness. + +When he finally left the telephone and went to his bedroom to change his +clothes, but not to "dress," he thanked God for having clinched matters +so swiftly. Lady Sellingworth had certainly meant to let him down. Some +instinct had told him what to say to her to make her change her mind. +At least, he supposed so. For she had abruptly changed her mind after +hearing of Miss Van Tuyn's invitation. But why had she meant to give up +the dinner? What had happened between his exit from her house and her +ringing him up? For he could not believe in the excuse of ill-health +put forward by her. He was puzzled. Women certainly were difficult to +understand. But it was all right now. His audacity--for he thought it +rather audacious of him to have asked Lady Sellingworth to dine alone +with him at the _Bella Napoli_--was going to be rewarded. As he changed +his clothes he hummed to himself: + +"_O Napoli! Bella Napoli_!" + +At Claridge's meanwhile Miss Van Tuyn was not humming. As she came away +from the telephone she felt in a very bad temper. Things were not going +well for her just now in London, and she was accustomed to things going +well. As in Craven's letter, so just now at the telephone, she had been +aware of resistance, of a distinct holding back from her influence. +This was a rare experience for her, and she resented it. She believed +Craven's excuse for not dining with her. It was incredible that a +young man who had nothing to do would refuse to pass an evening in her +company. No; he was engaged. But she had felt at the telephone that +he was not sorry he was engaged; she still felt it. He was going to do +something which he preferred doing to dining with her. The tell-tale +line showed itself in her low white forehead. + +Fanny Cronin had gone to bed; otherwise they might have dined downstairs +in the restaurant, where they would have been sure of meeting people +whom Miss Van Tuyn knew. She did not choose to go down and dine alone. +A lonely dinner followed by a lonely evening upstairs did not appeal to +her; for a moment, like Lady Sellingworth in Berkeley Square, she felt +the oppression of solitude. She went to the window of her sitting-room, +drew the curtain back, pulled aside the blind, and looked out. The night +was going to be fine; the sky was clear and starry; the London outside +drew her. For a moment she thought of telephoning to Garstin to come +out somewhere and dine with her. He was rude to her, seldom paid her +a compliment, and never made love to her. But he was famous and +interesting. They could always get on in a tete-a-tete conversation. And +then there was now that link between them of the living bronze and her +plan with which Garstin was connected. She meant to know that man; she +meant it more strongly now that Craven was behaving so strangely. She +dropped the blind, drew the curtains forward, went to the fire, and lit +a cigarette. + +She wondered where Craven was dining. At some delightful restaurant with +someone he liked very much. She was quite sure of that; or--perhaps +he had told her a lie! Perhaps he was dining at Number 18A, Berkeley +Square! Suddenly she felt certain that she had hit on the truth. That +was it! He was dining in Berkeley Square with Adela Sellingworth. +They were going to have another evening together. Possessed by this +conviction, and acting on an almost fierce impulse--for her vanity was +now suffering severely--she went again to the telephone and rang up Lady +Sellingworth. When she was put through, and heard the characteristic +husky voice of her so-called friend at the other end of the line, she +begged Lady Sellingworth to come and dine at Claridge's that night and +have a quiet talk over things. As she had expected, she got a +refusal. Lady Sellingworth was engaged. Miss Van Tuyn, with a discreet +half-question, half-expression of disappointment, elicited the fact +that Lady Sellingworth was dining out, not having people at home. The +conversation concluded at both ends with charming expressions of regret, +and promises to be together as soon as was humanly possible. + +Again Miss Van Tuyn believed an excuse; again her instinct told her that +she had invited someone to dine who was glad to be engaged. There was +only one explanation of the two happy refusals. She was now absolutely +positive that Lady Sellingworth and Craven were going to dine together, +and not in Berkeley Square, and Craven was going to be the host, as he +had said. He had invited Lady Sellingworth to go out and dine somewhere +alone with him, and she had consented to do so. Where would they go? She +thought of the _Bella Napoli_. It was very unlikely that they would +meet anyone there whom they both knew, and they had met at the _Bella +Napoli_. Perhaps they--or perhaps _she_--had romantic recollections +connected with it! Perhaps they had arranged the other evening to +dine there again--and without Beryl Van Tuyn this time! If so, the +intervention at the telephone must have seemed an ironic stroke to them +both. + +For a moment Miss Van Tuyn's injured vanity made her feel as if they +were involved in a plot directed against her and her happiness, as if +they had both behaved abominably to her. She had always been so charming +to Lady Sellingworth, had always praised her, had taken her part, had +even had quite a cult for her! It was very disgusting. It showed Miss +Van Tuyn how right she had been in generally cultivating men instead +of women. For, of course, Craven could not get out of things with an +experienced rusee woman of the world like Adela Sellingworth. Women of +that type always knew how to "corner" a man, especially if he were young +and had decent instincts. Poor Craven! + +But at the telephone Miss Van Tuyn had felt that Craven was glad to be +engaged that evening, that he was looking forward to something. + +After sitting still for a few minutes, always with the tell-tale line in +her forehead, Miss Van Tuyn got up with an air of purpose. She went to a +door at the end of the sitting-room, opened it, crossed a lobby, opened +double doors, and entered a bedroom in which a large, mild-looking +woman, with square cheeks, chestnut-coloured smooth hair, large, +chestnut-coloured eyes under badly painted eyebrows, and a mouth with +teeth that suggested a very kind and well-meaning rabbit, was lying +in bed with a cup and a pot of camomile tea beside her, and Bourget's +"_Mensonges_" in her hand. This was Fanny Cronin, originally from +Philadelphia, but now largely French in a simple and unpretending way. +The painted eyebrows must not be taken as evidence against her. They +were the only artificiality of which Miss Cronin was guilty; and as an +unkind fate had absolutely denied her any eyebrows of her own, she had +conceived it only decent to supply their place. + +"I've got back to '_Mensonges_,' Beryl," she said, as she saw Miss Van +Tuyn. "After all, there's nothing like it. It bites right into one, even +on a third reading." + +"Dear old Fanny! I'm so glad you're being bitten into. I know how you +love it, and I'm not going to disturb you. I only came to tell you that +I'm going out this evening, and may possibly come back late." + +"I hope you will enjoy yourself, dear, and meet pleasant people." + +Miss Cronin was thoroughly well trained, and seldom asked any questions. +She had long ago been carefully taught that the duty of a _dame de +compagnie_ consisted solely in being alive in a certain place--the place +selected for her by the person she was _dame de compagnie_ to. It was, +after all, an easy enough profession so long as a beneficent Providence +permitted your heart to beat and your lungs to function. The place +at present was Claridge's Hotel. She had nothing to do except to +lie comfortably in bed there. And this small feat, well within her +competence, she was now accomplishing with complete satisfaction to +herself. She took a happy sip of her camomile tea and added: + +"But I know you always do that. You have such a wide choice and are so +clever in selection." + +Miss Van Tuyn slightly frowned. + +"There isn't such a wide choice in London as there is in Paris," she +said rather morosely. + +"I dare say not. Paris is much smaller than London, but much cleverer, +I think. Where would you find an author like Bourget among the English? +Which of _them_ could have written '_Mensonges_'? Which of _them_ +could--" + +"I know, dear, I know! They haven't the bite. That is what you mean. +They have only the bark." + +"Exactly! And when one sits down to a book--" + +"Just so, dear. The dog that can only bark is a very dull dog. I saw a +wonderful dog the other day that looked as if it could bite." + +"Indeed! In London?" + +"Yes. But I'm sure it wasn't English." + +"Was it a poodle?" + +"No, quite the contrary." + +Fanny Cronin looked rather vague. She was really trying to think what +dog was quite the contrary of a poodle, but, after the Channel, her mind +was unequal to the effort. So she took another sip of the camomile tea +and said: + +"What colour was it?" + +"It was all brown like a brown bronze. Well, good night, Fanny." + +"Good night, dear. I really wish you would read '_Mensonges_' again when +I have finished with it. One cannot read over these masterpieces too +often." + +"You shall lend it me." + +She went out of the room, and Fanny Cronin settled comfortably down once +more to the competent exercise of her profession. + +It was now nearly eight o'clock. Miss Van Tuyn went to her bedroom. She +had a maid with her, but she did not ring for the woman. Instead she +shut her door, and began to "do" things for herself. She began by taking +off her gown and putting on a loose wrapper. Then she sat down before +the dressing-table and changed the way in which her corn-coloured hair +was done, making it sit much closer to the head than before, and look +much less striking and conspicuous. The new way of doing her hair +changed her appearance considerably, made her less like a Ceres and more +like a Puritan. When she was quite satisfied with her hair she got out +of her wrapper, and presently put on an absolutely plain black coat and +skirt, a black hat which came down very low on her forehead, a black +veil and black suede gloves. Then she took a tightly furled umbrella +with an ebony handle out of her wardrobe, picked up her purse, unlocked +her door and stepped out into the lobby. + +Her French maid appeared from somewhere. She was a rather elderly woman +with a clever, but not unpleasantly subtle, face. Miss Van Tuyn said a +few words to her in a low voice, opened the lobby door and went out. + +She took the lift, glided down, walked slowly and carelessly across the +hall and passed out by the swing door. + +"A taxi, madam?" said the commissionaire in livery. + +She shook her head and walked away down Brook Street in the direction of +Grosvenor Square. + +As Craven had predicted it was a fine clear night, dry underfoot, starry +overhead. If Miss Van Tuyn had had with her a chosen companion she would +have enjoyed her walk. She was absolutely self-possessed, and thoroughly +capable of taking care of herself. No terrors of London affected her +spirit. But she was angry and bored at being alone. She felt almost +for the first time in her life neglected and even injured. And she was +determined to try to find out whether her strong suspicions about Lady +Sellingworth and Craven were well founded. If really Craven was giving +a dinner somewhere, and Lady Sellingworth was dining with friends +somewhere else, she had no special reason for irritation. She might +possibly be mistaken in her unpleasant conviction that both of them had +something to do which they preferred to dining with her. But if they +were dining together and alone she would know exactly how things were +between them. For neither of them had done what would surely have been +the natural thing to do if there were no desire for concealment; neither +of them had frankly stated the truth about the dinner. + +"If they are dining together they don't wish me to know it," Miss Van +Tuyn said to herself, as she walked along Grosvenor Square and turned +down Carlos Place. "For if I had known it they might have felt obliged +to invite me to join them, as I was inviting them, and as I was the one +who introduced Adela Sellingworth to the _Bella Napoli_." + +And as she remembered this she felt more definitely injured. For she had +taken a good deal of trouble to persuade Lady Sellingworth to dine out +in Soho, had taken trouble about the food and about the music, had, in +fact, done everything that was possible to make the evening entertaining +and delightful to her friend. It was even she, by the way, who had +beckoned Craven to their table and had asked him to join them after +dinner. + +And in return for all this Adela Sellingworth had carried him off, and +perhaps to-night was dining with him alone at the _Bella Napoli_! + +"These old beauties are always the most unscrupulous women in the +world," thought Miss Van Tuyn, as she came into Berkeley Square. "They +never know when to stop. They are never satisfied. It's bad enough to be +with a greedy child, but it's really horrible to have much to do with a +greedy old person. I should never have thought that Adela Sellingworth +was like this." + +It did not occur to her that perhaps some day she would be an old beauty +herself, and even then would perhaps still want a few pleasures and joys +to make life endurable to her. + +In passing through Berkeley Square she deliberately walked on the left +side of it, and presently came to the house where Lady Sellingworth +lived. The big mansion was dark. As Miss Van Tuyn went by it she felt +an access of ill-humour, and for an instant she knew something of +the feeling which had often come to its owner--the feeling of being +abandoned to loneliness in the midst of a city which held multitudes who +were having a good time. + +She walked on towards Berkeley, thought of Piccadilly, retraced her +steps, turned up Hay Hill, crossed Bond Street, and eventually came into +Regent Street. There were a good many people here, and several loitering +men looked hard at her. But she walked composedly on, keeping at an even +steady pace. At the main door of the Cafe Royal three or four men were +lounging. She did not look at them as she went by. But presently she +felt that she was being followed. This did not disturb her. She often +went out alone in Paris on foot, though not at night, and was accustomed +to being followed. She knew perfectly well how to deal with impertinent +men. In Shaftesbury Avenue the man who was dogging her footsteps came +nearer, and presently, though she did not turn her head, she knew that +he was walking almost level with her, and that his eyes were fixed +steadily on her. Without altering her pace she took a shilling out of +the purse she was carrying and held it in her hand. The man drew up till +he was walking by her side. She felt that he was going to speak to her. +She stopped, held out the hand with the shilling in it, and said: + +"Here's a shilling! Take it. I'm sorry I can't afford more than that." + +As she finished speaking for the first time she looked at her pursuer, +and met the brown eyes of the living bronze. He stood for an instant +gazing at her veil, and then turned round and walked away in the +direction of Regent Street. The shilling dropped from her hand to the +pavement. She did not try to find it, but at once went on. + +It was very seldom that her self-possession was shaken. It was not +exactly shaken now. But the recognition of the stranger whom she had +been thinking about in the man who had followed her in the street +had certainly startled her. For a moment a strong feeling of disgust +overcame her, and she thought of Garstin's brutal comment upon this man. +Was he then really one of the horrible night loungers who abound in +all great cities, one of the night birds who come out when the darkness +falls with vague hopes of doing evil to their own advantage? It was +possible. He must have been hanging about near the door of the Cafe +Royal when she passed and watching the passers-by. He must have seen her +then. Could he have recognized her? In that case perhaps he was merely +an adventurous fellow who had been pushed to the doing of an impertinent +thing by his strong admiration of her. As she thought this she happened +to be passing a lit-up shop, a tobacconist's, which had mirrors fixed on +each side of the window. She stopped and looked into one of the mirrors. +No, he could not have recognized her through the veil she was wearing. +She felt certain of that. But he might have been struck by her figure. +He might have noticed it that night at the Cafe Royal, have fancied he +recognized it to-night, and have followed her because he was curious to +know whether, or not, she was the girl he had already seen and admired. +And of course, as she was walking in Regent Street alone at night, he +must have thought her a girl who would not mind being spoken to. It was +her own fault for being so audacious, so determined always to do what +she wanted to do, however unconventional, even outrageous--according to +commonplace ideas--it was. + +She forgave the man his impertinence and smiled as she thought of his +abrupt departure. If he were really a night bird he would surely have +stood his ground. He would not have been got rid of so easily. No; he +would probably have coolly pocketed the shilling, and then have entered +into conversation with her, have chaffed her vulgarly about her methods +with admirers, and have asked her to go to a cafe or somewhere with him, +and to spend the shilling and other shillings in his company. + +No doubt he had been waiting for a friend at the door of the Cafe Royal, +had seen her go by, and had yielded to an impulse prompting him to an +adventure. He was not an Englishman or an American. She felt certain +of that. And she knew very well the views many foreigners, especially +Latins, even of good birth hold about the propriety of showing their +admiration for women in the street. + +She was glad she had had a thick veil on. If later she made acquaintance +with this man, she did not wish him to know that she and the girl who +had offered him a shilling were one and the same. If he knew she might +be at a certain disadvantage with him. + +She turned into Soho and was immediately conscious of a slightly +different atmosphere. There were fewer people about and the street was +not so brightly lit up, or at any rate seemed to her darker. She heard +voices speaking Italian in the shadows. The lights of small restaurants +glimmered faintly on the bone-dry pavement. She was nearing the _Bella +Napoli_. Soon she heard the distant sound of guitars. + +Where she was walking at this moment there was no one. She stood still +for an instant considering. If Lady Sellingworth and Craven were really +dining together, as she suspected, and at the _Bella Napoli_, she could +see them from the street if they had a table near the window. If they +were not seated near the window she might not be able to see them. In +that case, what was she going to do? + +After a moment's thought she resolved that if she did not see them from +the street she would go into the restaurant and dine there alone. They +would see her of course, if they were there, and would no doubt be +surprised and decidedly uncomfortable. But that could not be helped. +Having come so far she was determined not to go back to the hotel +without making sure whether her suspicion was correct. If, on the other +hand, they were dining at a table near the window she resolved not to +enter the restaurant. + +Having come to this decision she walked on. + +The musicians were playing "O Sole mio!" And as the music grew more +distinct in her ears she felt more solitary, more injured and more +ill-humoured. Music of that type makes youth feel that the world ought +of right to belong to it, that the old are out of place in the regions +of adventure, romance and passion. That they should not hang about where +they are no longer wanted, like beggars about the door of a house in +which happy people are feasting. + +"Such music is for me not for Adela Sellingworth," thought Miss Van +Tuyn. "Let her listen to Bach and Beethoven, or to Brahms if she likes. +She can have the classics and the intellectuals. But the songs of Naples +are for me, not for her." + +And at that moment she felt very hard, even cruel. + +She came up to the restaurant. The window was lighted up brilliantly. No +blind was drawn over it. There was opaque glass at the bottom, but not +at the top. She was tall and could look through the glass at the top. +She did so, and at once saw Lady Sellingworth and Craven. + +They were sitting at _her_ table--the table which was always reserved +for her when she dined at the _Bella Napoli_, and at which she had +entertained Lady Sellingworth; and they were talking--confidentially, +eagerly, she thought. Lady Sellingworth looked unusually happy and +animated, even perhaps a little younger than usual. Yes! Very old, but +younger than usual! They were not eating at the moment, but were no +doubt waiting for a course. Craven was leaning forward to his companion. +The guitars still sounded. But these two had apparently so much to say +to one another that they had neither time or inclination to listen to +the music. + +Miss Van Tuyn stood very still on the pavement staring into the +restaurant. + +But suddenly Craven, as if attracted by something, turned abruptly half +round towards the window. Instantly Miss Van Tuyn moved away. He could +not have seen her. But perhaps he had felt that she--or rather of course +that someone--was there. For he could not possibly have felt that she, +Beryl Van Tuyn, was there looking in. + +After drawing back Miss Van Tuyn walked slowly away. She was considering +something, debating something within herself. Should she go in and dine +alone in the restaurant? By doing so she would certainly make those two +who had treated her badly uncomfortable; she would probably spoil +the rest of their evening. Should she do that? Some indelicate devil +prompted her, urged her, to do it. It would "serve them right," she +thought. Adela Sellingworth especially deserved a touch of the whip. But +it would be an undignified thing to do. They would never know of course +why she had come alone to the _Bella Napoli_! They would think that, +being audaciously unconventional, she had just drifted in there because +she had nothing else to do, as Craven had drifted in alone the other +night. She wanted to do it. Yet she hesitated to do it. + +Finally she gave up the idea. She felt malicious, but she could not +quite make up her mind to dine alone where they would see her. Probably +they would feel obliged to ask her to join them. But she would not join +them. Nothing could induce her to do that. And was she to come over to +them when coffee was brought, as Craven had come at her invitation? +No; that would be a condescension unworthy of her beauty and youth. Her +fierce vanity forbade it, even though her feeling of malice told her to +do it. + +Her vanity won. She walked on and came into Shaftesbury Avenue. + +"I know what I'll do," she said to herself. "I'll go and dine upstairs +at the Cafe Royal, and go into the cafe downstairs afterwards. Garstin +is certain to be there." + +Garstin--and others! + +This time she obeyed her inclination. Not many minutes later she was +seated at a table in a corner of the restaurant at the Cafe Royal, and +was carefully choosing a dinner. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +The more he thought over his visit to Adela Sellingworth the more +certain did Francis Braybrooke become that it had not gone off well. +For once he had not played his cards to the best advantage. He felt sure +that inadvertently he had irritated his hostess. Her final dismissal of +the subject of young Craven's possible happiness with Beryl Van Tuyn, if +circumstances should ever bring them together, had been very abrupt. She +had really almost kicked it out of the conversation. + +But then, she had never been fond of discussing love affairs. Braybrooke +had noticed that. + +As he considered the matter he began to feel rather uneasy. Was it +possible that Adela Sellingworth--his mind hesitated, then took the +unpleasant leap--that Adela Sellingworth was beginning to like young +Craven in an unsuitable way? + +Craven certainly had behaved oddly when Adela Sellingworth had been +discussed between them, and when Craven had been the subject of +discussion with Adela Sellingworth she had behaved curiously. There +was something behind it all. Of that Braybrooke was convinced. But his +perplexity and doubt increased to something like agitation a few days +later when he met a well-born woman of his acquaintance, who had "gone +in for" painting and living her own life, and had become a bit of a +Bohemian. She had happened to mention that she had seen his friend, +"that wonderful-looking Lady Sellingworth," dining at the _Bella Napoli_ +on a recent evening. Naturally Braybrooke supposed that the allusion was +to the night of Lady Sellingworth's dinner with Beryl Van Tuyn, and +he spoke of the lovely girl as Lady Sellingworth's companion. But his +informant, looking rather surprised, told him that Lady Sellingworth +had been with a very handsome young man, and, on discreet inquiry being +made, gave an admirable description from the painter's point of view, of +Craven. + +Braybrooke said nothing, but he was secretly almost distressed. He +thought it such a mistake for his distinguished friend to go wandering +about in Soho alone with a mere boy. It was undignified. It was not the +thing. He could not understand it unless really she was losing her head. +And then he remembered her past. Although he never spoke of it, and now +seldom thought about it, Braybrooke knew very well what sort of woman +Adela Sellingworth had been. But her dignified life of ten years had +really almost wiped her former escapades out of his recollection. +There seemed to be a gulf fixed between the professional beauty and the +white-haired recluse of Berkeley Square. When he looked at her, sat with +her now, if he ever gave a thought to her past it was accompanied, or +immediately followed, by a mental question: "Was it _she_ who did that?" +or "Can _she_ ever have been like that?" + +But now Braybrooke uneasily began to remember Lady Sellingworth's past +reputation and to think of the "old guard." + +If she were to fall back into folly now, after what she had done ten +years ago, the "old guard" would show her no mercy. Her character would +be torn to pieces. He regretted very much his introduction of Craven +into her life. But how could he have thought that she would fascinate a +boy? + +After much careful thought--for he took his social responsibilities and +duties very seriously--he resolved to take action on the lines which had +occurred to him when he first began to be anxious about Craven's feeling +towards Adela Sellingworth; he resolved to do his best to bring Beryl +Van Tuyn and Craven together. + +The first step he took was to call on Miss Cronin when Beryl Van +Tuyn was out. He went to Claridge's in inquire for Miss Van Tuyn. +On ascertaining that she was not at home he sent up his name to +Miss Cronin, who was practically always in the house. At any rate, +Braybrooke, who had met her several times at Miss Van Tuyn's apartment +in Paris, had understood so from herself. If Miss Van Tuyn needed her as +a chaperon she was, of course, to be counted upon to risk taking air and +exercise. Otherwise, as she frankly said, she preferred to stay quietly +at home. By nature she was sedentary. Her temperament inclined her to +a sitting posture, which, however, she frequently varied by definitely +lying down. + +On this occasion Miss Cronin was as usual in the house, and begged that +Mr. Braybrooke would come up. He found her in an arm-chair--she had just +vacated a large sofa--with Bourget's "_Le Disciple_" in her hand. Her +eyebrows were rather dim, for she had caught a slight London cold which +had led her to neglect them. But she was looking mildly cheerful, and +was very glad to have a visitor. Though quite happy alone with Bourget +she was always ready for a comfortable gossip; and she liked Francis +Braybrooke. + +After a few words about the cold, Bourget and Paris, Braybrooke turned +the conversation to Miss Van Tuyn. He had understood that she meant only +to make a short stay in London, and rather wondered about the change of +plans which had brought Miss Cronin across the Channel. Miss Cronin, he +soon discovered, was rather wondering too. + +"Beryl seems to have been quite got hold of by London," she observed +with mild surprise. + +After a pause she added: + +"It may be--mind I don't say it is, but it may be--the Wallace +Collection." + +"The Wallace Collection?" said Braybrooke. + +"I believe she goes there every day. It is in Manchester Square, isn't +it?" + +"Oh, yes." + +"Then I think it must be that. Because two or three times lately I have +heard her mention Manchester Square as if it were very much on her mind. +Once I remember her saying that Manchester Square was worth all the rest +of London put together! And another time she said that Manchester square +ought to be in Paris. That struck me as very strange, but after making +inquiries I found that the Wallace Collection was situated there, or +near there." + +"Hertford House is in the Square." + +"Then it is that. You know how wrapped up Beryl is in that kind of +thing. And, of course, she knows all the Paris collections by heart. Is +the Wallace Collection large? Does it contain much?" + +"It contains innumerable priceless treasures," returned Braybrooke. + +"Innumerable! Dear me!" murmured Fanny Cronin, managing to lift the +dimly painted eyebrows in a distinctively plaintive manner. "Then I dare +say we shall be here for months." + +"You don't think," began Braybrooke with exquisite caution, "you don't +think that possibly she may have a more human reason for remaining in +London?" + +Fanny Cronin made a rabbit's mouth and looked slightly bemused. + +"Human!" she said. "You think Beryl could have a human reason?" + +"Oh, surely, surely!" + +"But she prefers bronzes to people. I assure you it is so. I have heard +her say that you can never be disappointed by a really good bronze, but +that men and women often distress you by their absurdities and follies." + +"That sort of thing is only the outcome of a passing mood of youthful +cynicism." + +"Is it? I sometimes think that a born collector, like Beryl, sees more +in bronze and marble than in flesh and blood. She is very sweet, but she +has quite a passion for possessing." + +"Is not the greatest possession of all the possession of another's human +heart?" said Braybrooke impressively, and with sentiment. + +"I dare say it is, but really I cannot speak from experience," said +Fanny Cronin, with remarkable simplicity. + +"Has it never occurred to you," continued Braybrooke, "that your lovely +charge is not likely to remain always Beryl Van Tuyn?" + +Miss Cronin looked startled, and slightly moved her ears, a curious +habit which she sometimes indulged in under the influence of sudden +emotion, and which was indicative of mental stress. + +"But if Beryl ever marries," she said, "I might have to give up living +in Paris! I might have to go back to America!" + +She leaned forward, with her small, plump, and conspicuously freckled +hands grasping the arms of her chair. + +"You don't think, Mr. Braybrooke, that Beryl is not here for the Wallace +Collection? You don't think that she is in love with someone in London?" + +Francis Braybrooke was decidedly taken aback by this abrupt emotional +outburst. He had not meant to provoke it. Indeed, in his +preoccupation with Craven's affairs and Adela Sellingworth's possible +indiscretions--really he knew of no gentler word to apply to what he +had in mind--he had entirely forgotten that Fanny Cronin's charming +profession of sitting in deep arm-chairs, reposing on luxurious sofas, +and lying in perfect French beds, might, indeed would, be drastically +interfered with by Miss Van Tuyn's marriage. It was very careless of +him. He was inclined to blame himself almost severely. + +"My dear Miss Cronin," he hastily exclaimed. "If you were ever to think +of changing your--your"--he could not find the word; "condition" would +not do; "state of life" suggested the Catechism; "profession" was +preposterous, besides, he did not mean that--"your sofa"--he had got +it--"your sofa in the Avenue Henri Martin for a sofa somewhere else, I +know of at least a dozen charming houses in Paris which would gladly, I +might say thankfully, open their doors to receive you." + +This was really a lie. At the moment Braybrooke did not know of one. +But he hastily made up his mind to be "responsible" for Fanny Cronin if +anything should occur through his amiable machinations. + +"Thank you, Mr. Braybrooke. You are kindness itself. So, then, Beryl +_is_ going to marry! And she never hinted it to me, although we talked +over marriage only yesterday, when I gave her Bourget's views on it as +expressed in his '_Physiologie de l'amour moderne_.' She never said one +word. She never--" + +But at this point Braybrooke felt that an interruption, however rude, +was obligatory. + +"I have no reason whatever to suppose that Miss Van Tuyn is thinking of +marriage at this moment," he said, in an almost shrill voice. + +"But surely you would not frighten me without a reason," said Fanny +Cronin with mild severity, sitting back again in her chair. + +"Frighten you, dear Miss Cronin! I would not do that for the world. What +have I said to frighten you?" + +"You talked of my changing my sofa for a sofa somewhere else! If Beryl +is not going to marry why should I think of changing?" + +"But nothing lasts for ever. The whole world is in a state of flux." + +"Really, Mr. Braybrooke! I am quite sure _I_ am not in a state of flux!" +said Miss Cronin with unusual dignity. "We American women, you must +understand, have our principles and know how to preserve them." + +"On my honour, I only meant that life inevitably brings with it changes. +I am sure you will bear me out in that." + +"I don't know about bearing you out," said Miss Cronin, looking rather +helplessly at Francis Braybrooke's fairly tall and well-nourished +figure. "But why should Beryl want to change? She is very happy as she +is." + +"I know--I know. But surely such a lovely girl is certain to marry some +day. And can we wish it otherwise? Some day a man will come who knows +how to appreciate her as she deserves, who understands her nature, who +is ready to devote his life to fulfilling her deepest needs." + +Miss Cronin suddenly looked intelligent and at the same time like a +dragon. Never before had Braybrooke seen such an expression upon her +face, such a stiffening of dignity to her ample figure. She sat straight +up, looked him full in the face, and observed: + +"I understand your meaning, Mr. Braybrooke. You wish to marry Beryl. +Well, you must forgive me for saying that I think you are much too old +for her." + +Braybrooke had not blushed for probably at least forty years, but +he blushed scarlet now, and seized his beard with a hand that looked +thoroughly unstrung. + +"My dear Miss Cronin!" he said, in a voice which was almost hoarse with +protest. "You absolutely misunderstood me. It is much too la--I mean +that I have no intention whatever of changing my condition. No, no! +Let us talk of something else. So you are reading '_Le Disciple_'" (he +picked it up). "A very striking book! I always think it one of Bourget's +very best." + +He poured forth an energetic cataract of words in praise of Miss +Cronin's favourite author, and presently got away without any further +quite definite misunderstanding. But when he was out in the corridor on +his way to the lift he indulged himself in a very unwonted expression of +acrimonious condemnation. + +"Damn these red-headed old women!" he muttered in his beard. "There's +no doing anything with them! The idea of my going to her to propose for +Miss Van Tuyn! What next, I wonder?" + +When he was out in Brook Street he hesitated for a moment, then took out +his watch and looked at it. Half-past three! He thought of the Wallace +Collection. It seemed to draw him strangely just then. He put his watch +back and walked towards Manchester Square. + +He had gained the Square and was about to enter the enclosure before +Hertford House by the gateway on the left, when he saw Miss Van Tuyn +come out by the gateway on the right, and walk slowly towards Oxford +Street in deep conversation with a small horsey-looking man, whose face +he could not see, but whose back and legs, and whose dress and headgear, +strongly suggested to him the ring at Newmarket and the Paddock at +Ascot. + +Braybrooke hesitated. The attraction of the Wallace Collection no longer +drew him. Besides, it was getting late. On the other hand, he scarcely +liked to interrupt an earnest tete-a-tete. If it had not been that he +was exceptionally strung up at that moment he would probably have gone +quietly off to one of his clubs. But who knew what that foolish old +woman at Claridge's might say to Miss Van Tuyn when she reached her +hotel? It really was essential in the sacred interest of truth that he +should forestall Fanny Cronin. The jockey--if it was a jockey--Miss Van +Tuyn was with must put up with an interruption. But the interruption +must be brought about naturally. It would not do to come up behind them. +That would seem too intrusive. He must manage to skip round deftly when +the occasion offered, and by a piece of masterly strategy to come upon +them face to face. + +Seized of this intention Braybrooke did a thing he had never done +before; he "dogged" two human beings, walking with infinite precaution. + +His quarry presently turned into the thronging crowds of Oxford Street +and made towards the Marble Arch, keeping to the right-hand pavement. +Braybrooke saw his opportunity. He dodged across the road to an island, +waited there till a policeman, extending a woollen thumb, stopped the +traffic, then gained the opposite pavement, hurried decorously on that +side towards the Marble Arch, and after a sprint of perhaps a couple of +hundred yards recrossed the street almost at the risk of his life, and +walked warily back towards Oxford Circus, keeping his eyes wide open. + +Before many minutes had passed he discerned the graceful and athletic +figure of Miss Van Tuyn coming towards him; then, immediately +afterwards, he caught a glimpse of a blue shaven face with an aquiline +nose beside her, and realized that the man he had taken for a jockey was +Dick Garstin, the famous painter. + +As Braybrooke knew everyone, he, of course, knew Garstin, and he +wondered now why he had not recognized his back at Manchester Square. +Perhaps his mind had been too engrossed with Fanny Cronin and the +outrage at Claridge's. He only knew the painter slightly, just +sufficiently to dislike him very much. Indeed, only the acknowledged +eminence of the man induced Braybrooke to have anything to do with +him. But one has to know publicly acclaimed geniuses or consent to be +thoroughly out of it. So Braybrooke included Garstin in the enormous +circle of his acquaintances, and went to his private views. + +But now the recognition gave him pause, and he almost wished he had not +taken so much trouble to meet Miss Van Tuyn and her companion. For he +could say nothing he wanted to say while Garstin was there. And the +man was so damnably unconventional, in fact, so downright rude, and so +totally devoid of all delicacy, all insight in social matters, that +even if he saw that Braybrooke wanted a quiet word with Miss Van Tuyn +he would probably not let him have it. However, it was too late now to +avoid the steadily advancing couple. Miss Van Tuyn had seen Braybrooke, +and sent him a smile. In a moment he was face to face with them, and she +stopped to greet him. + +"I have been spending an hour at the Wallace Collection with Mr. +Garstin," she said. "And quarrelling with him all the time. His views on +French art are impossible." + +"Ah! how are you?" said Braybrooke, addressing the painter with almost +exaggerated cordiality. + +Garstin nodded in his usual offhand way. He did not dislike Braybrooke. +When Braybrooke was there he perceived him, having eyes, and having +ears heard his voice. But hitherto Braybrooke had never succeeded in +conveying any impression to the mind of Garstin. On one occasion when +Braybrooke had been discussed in Garstin's presence, and Garstin had +said: "Who is he?" and had received a description of Braybrooke with the +additional information: "But he comes to your private views! You have +known him for years!" he had expressed his appreciation of Braybrooke's +personality and character by the exclamation: "Oh, to be sure! The beard +with the gentleman!" Braybrooke did not know this, or he would certainly +have disliked Garstin even more than he did already. + +As Garstin's nod was not followed by any other indication of humanity +Braybrooke addressed Miss Van Tuyn, and told her of his call at +Claridge's. + +"And as you were not to be found I paid a visit to Miss Cronin." + +"She must have bored you very much," was the charming girl's comment. +"She has the most confused mind I know." + +What an opening for Braybrooke! But he could not take it because of +Garstin, who stood by cruelly examining the stream of humanity which +flowed past them hypnotized by the shops. + +"May I--shall I be in the way if I turn back with you for a few steps?" +he ventured, with the sort of side glance at Garstin that a male dog +gives to another male dog while walking round and round on a first +meeting. "It is such a pleasure to see you." + +Here he threw very definite admiration into the eyes which he fixed on +Miss Van Tuyn. + +She responded automatically and begged him to accompany them. + +"Dick is leaving me at the Marble Arch," she said. "The reason he gives +is that he is going to take a Turkish Bath in the Harrow Road. But that +is a lie that even an American girl brought up in Paris is unable to +swallow. What are you really going to do, Dick?" + +As she spoke she walked on, having Garstin on one side of her and +Francis Braybrooke on the other. + +"I'm going to have a good sweat in the Harrow Road." + +Braybrooke was disgusted. It was not that he really minded the word +used to indicate the process which obtains in a Turkish Bath. No; it was +Garstin's blatant way of speaking it that offended his susceptibilities. +The man was perpetually defying the decencies and delicacies which were +as perfume in Braybrooke's nostrils. + +"The doctors say that it is an excellent thing to open the pores," said +Braybrooke discreetly. + +Garstin cast a glance at him, as if he now saw him for the first time. + +"Do you mean to tell us you believe in doctors?" he said. + +"I do, in some doctors," said Braybrooke. "There are charlatans in all +professions unfortunately." + +"And some of them are R.A.'s," said Miss Van Tuyn. "By the way, Dick is +going to paint me." + +"Really! How very splendid!" said Braybrooke, again with exaggerated +cordiality. "With such a subject I'm sure--" + +But here he was interrupted by Garstin, who said: + +"She tells everyone I'm going to paint her because she hopes by +reiteration to force me to do it. But she isn't the type that interests +me." + +"My dear Dick, I'll gladly take to morphia or drink if it will help," +said Miss Van Tuyn. "I can easily get the Cafe Royal expression. One has +only to sit with a glass of something the colour of absinthe in front of +one and look sea-sick. I'm perfectly certain that with a week or two's +practice I could look quite as degraded as Cora." + +"Cora?" said Braybrooke, alertly, hearing a name he did not know. + +"She's a horror who goes to the Cafe Royal and whom Dick calls a free +woman." + +"Free from all the virtues, I suppose!" said Braybrooke smartly. + +"Good-bye both of you!" said Garstin at this juncture. + +"But we haven't got to the Marble Arch!" + +"What's that got to do with it? I'm off." + +He seemed to be going, then stopped, and directed the two pin-points of +light at Miss Van Tuyn. + +"I flatly refuse to make an Academy portrait of you, so don't hope for +it," he said. "But if you come along to the studio to-morrow afternoon +you may possibly find me at work on a blackmailer." + +"Dick!" said Miss Van Tuyn, in a voice which startled Braybrooke. + +"I don't promise," said the painter. "I don't believe in promises, +unless you break 'em. But it's just on the cards." + +"You are painting a blackmailer!" said Braybrooke, with an air of +earnest interest. "How very original!" + +"Original! Why is it original to paint a blackmailer?" + +"Oh--well, one doesn't often run across them. They--they seem to keep so +much to themselves." + +"I don't agree with you. If they did some people would be a good deal +better off than they are now." + +"Ah, to be sure! That's very true. I had never looked at it in that +light." + +"What time, Dick?" said Miss Van Tuyn, rather eagerly. + +"You might look in about three." + +"I will. That's a bargain." + +Garstin turned on his heel and tramped away towards Berkeley Street. + +"You are going home by Park Lane?" said Braybrooke, feeling greatly +relieved, but still rather upset. + +"Yes. But why don't you take me somewhere to tea?" + +"Nothing I should like better. Where shall we go?" + +"Let's go to the Ritz. I had meant to walk, but let us take a taxi." + +There was suddenly a change in Miss Van Tuyn. Braybrooke noticed it at +once. She seemed suddenly restless, almost excited, and as if she were +in a hurry. + +"There's one!" she added, lifting her tightly furled umbrella. + +The driver stopped, and in a moment they were on their way to the Ritz. + +"You like Dick Garstin?" said Braybrooke, pulling up one of the windows +and wondering what Miss Cronin would say if she could see him at this +moment. + +"I don't like him," returned Miss Van Tuyn. "No one could do that. But I +admire him, and he interests me. He is almost the only man I know who +is really indifferent to opinion. And he has occasional moments of good +nature. But I don't wish him to be soft. If he were he would be like +everyone else." + +"I must confess I find it very difficult to get on with him." + +"He's a wonderful painter." + +"No doubt--in his way." + +"I think it a great mistake for any creative artist to be wonderful in +someone else's way," said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"I only meant that his way is sometimes rather startling. And then +his subjects! Drugged women! Dram drinking men! And now it seems even +blackmailers." + +"A blackmailer might have a wonderful face." + +"Possibly. But it would be likely to have a disgusting expression." + +"It might. On the other hand, I could imagine a blackmailer looking like +Chaliapine as Mephistopheles." + +"I don't like distressing art," said Braybrooke, rather firmly. "And I +think there is too much of it nowadays." + +"Anything is better than the merely nice. And you have far too much of +that in England. Men like Dick Garstin are a violent protest against +that, and sometimes they go to extremes. He has caught the secret of +evil, and when he has done with it he may quite possibly catch the +secret of good." + +"And then," said Braybrooke, "I am sure he will paint you." + +It was meant to be a very charmingly turned compliment. But Miss Van +Tuyn received it rather doubtfully. + +"I don't know that I want to wait quite so long as that," she murmured. +"Besides--I think I rather come in between. At least, I hope so." + +At this point in the conversation the cab stopped before the Ritz. + +To Francis Braybrooke's intense astonishment--and it might almost be +added confusion--the first person his eyes lit on as they walked towards +the tea-tables was Fanny Cronin, comfortably seated in an immense +arm-chair, devouring a muffin in the company of an old lady, whose +determined face was completely covered with a criss-cross of wrinkles, +and whose withered hands were flashing with magnificent rings. He was so +taken aback that he was guilty of a definite start, and the exclamation, +"Miss Cronin!" in a voice that suggested alarm. + +"Oh, old Fanny with Mrs. Clem Hodson!" said Miss Van Tuyn. "She's a +school friend of Fanny's from Philadelphia. Let us go to that table in +the far corner. I'll just speak to them while you order tea." + +"But I thought Miss Cronin never went out." + +"She never does, except with Mrs. Clem, unless I want her." + +"How singularly unfortunate I am to-day!" thought Braybrooke, as he +bowed to Miss Cronin in a rather confused manner and went to do as he +was told. + +He ordered tea, then sat down anxiously to wait for Miss Van Tuyn. From +his corner he watched her colloquy with the two school friends from +Philadelphia, and it seemed to him that something very important was +being told. For Fanny Cronin looked almost animated, and her manner +approached the emphatic as she spoke to the standing girl. Mrs. Hodson +seemed to take very little part in the conversation, but sat looking +very determined and almost imperious as she listened. And presently +Braybrooke saw her extremely observant dark eyes--small, protuberant +and round as buttons--turn swiftly, with even, he thought, a darting +movement, in his direction. + +"I shall be driven, really driven, to make the matter quite clear," he +thought, almost with desperation. "Otherwise--" + +But at this moment Miss Van Tuyn came away to him, and their tea was +brought by a waiter. + +He thought she cast a rather satirical look at him as she sat down, but +she only said; + +"Dear old things! They are very happy together. Mrs. Clem is +extraordinarily proud of having 'got Fanny out,' as she calls it. A boy +who had successfully drawn a badger couldn't be more triumphant. Now +let's forget them!" + +This was all very well, and Braybrooke asked for nothing better; but +he was totally unable to forget the two cronies, whom he saw in the +distance with their white and chestnut heads alarmingly close together, +talking eagerly, and, he was quite sure, not about the dear old days in +Philadelphia. What had they--or rather what had Miss Cronin said to +Miss Van Tuyn? He longed to know. It really was essential that he should +know. Yet he scarcely knew how to approach the subject. It was rather +difficult to explain elaborately to a beautiful girl that you had not +the least wish to marry her. He was certainly not at his best as he +took his first cup of tea and sought about for an opening. Miss Van Tuyn +talked with her usual assurance, but he fancied that her violet eyes +were full of inquiry when they glanced at him; and he began to feel +positive that the worst had happened, and that Fanny Cronin had informed +her--no, misinformed her--of what had happened at Claridge's. Now and +then, as he met Miss Van Tuyn's eyes, he thought they were searching +his with an unusual consciousness, as if they expected something very +special from him. Presently, too, she let the conversation languish, and +at last allowed it to drop. In the silence that succeeded Braybrooke +was seized by a terrible fear that perhaps she was waiting for him to +propose. If he did propose she would refuse him of course. He had no +doubt about that. But though to be accepted by her, or indeed by anyone, +would have caused him acute distress, on the other hand no one likes to +be refused. + +He thought of Craven. Was it possible to make any use of Craven to get +him out of his difficulty? Dare he hint at the real reason of his visit +to Miss Cronin? He had intended delicately to "sound" the chaperon +on the subject of matrimony, to find out if there was anything on the +_tapis_ in Paris, if Miss Van Tuyn had any special man friend there, in +short to make sure of his ground before deciding to walk on it. But he +could hardly explain that to Miss Van Tuyn. To do so would be almost +brutal, and quite against all his traditions. + +Again he caught her eye in the desperate silence. Her gaze seemed to +say to him: "When are you going to begin?" He felt that he must say +something, even though it were not what she was probably expecting. + +"I was interested," he hurriedly began, clasping his beard and looking +away from his companion, "to hear the other day that a young friend of +mine had met you, a very charming and promising young fellow, who has a +great career before him, unless I am much mistaken." + +"Who?" she asked; he thought rather curtly. + +"Alick Craven of the Foreign Office. He told me he was introduced to you +at Adela Sellingworth's." + +"Oh yes, he was," said Miss Van Tuyn. + +And she said no more. + +"He was very enthusiastic about you," ventured Braybrooke, wondering how +to interpret her silence. + +"Really!" + +"Yes. We belong to the same club, the St. James's. He entertained me for +more than an hour with your praises." + +Miss Van Tuyn looked at him with rather acute inquiry, as if she +could not make up her mind about something with which he was closely +concerned. + +"He would like to meet you again," said Braybrooke, with soft firmness. + +"But I have met him again two or three times. He called on me." + +"And I understand you were together in a restaurant in--Soho, I think it +was." + +"Yes, we were." + +"What did you think of him?" asked Braybrooke. + +As he put the question he was aware that he was being far from subtle. +The vision in the distance--now eating plum cake, but still very +observant--upset his nervous system and deprived him almost entirely of +his usual savoir faire. + +"He seems quite a nice sort of boy," said Miss Van Tuyn, still looking +rather coldly inquisitive, as if she were secretly puzzled but +intended to emerge into complete understanding before she had done +with Braybrooke. "His Foreign Office manner is rather against him. But +perhaps some day he'll grow out of that--unless it becomes accentuated." + +"If you knew him better I feel sure you would like him. He had no +reservations about you--none at all. But, then, how could he have?" + +"Well, at any rate I haven't got the Foreign Office manner." + +"No, indeed!" said Braybrooke, managing a laugh that just indicated his +appreciation of the remark as an excellent little joke. "But it really +means nothing." + +"That's a pity. One's manner should always have a meaning of some kind. +Otherwise it is an absolute drawback to one's personality." + +"That is perhaps a fault of the Englishman. But we must remember that +still waters run deep." + +"Do you think so? But if they don't run at all?" + +"How do you mean?" + +"There is such a thing as the village pond." + +"How very trying she is this afternoon!" thought poor Braybrooke, +endeavouring mentally to pull up his socks. + +"I half promised Craven the other day," he lied, resolutely ignoring her +unkind comparison of his protege to the abomination which is too often +veiled with duckweed, "to contrive another meeting between you and him. +But I fear he has bored you. And in that case perhaps I ought not to +hold to my promise. You meet so many brilliant Frenchmen that I dare +say our slower, but really I sometimes think deeper, mentality scarcely +appeals to you." + +(At this point he saw Fanny Cronin leaning impressively towards Mrs. +Clem Hodson, as if about to impart some very secret information to that +lady, who bent to receive it.) + +"Again those deep waters!" said Miss Van Tuyn, this time with +unmistakable satire. "But perhaps you are right. I remember a very +brilliant American, who knew practically all the nations of Europe, +telling me that in his opinion you English were the subtlest--I'm afraid +he was rude enough to say the most artful--of the lot." + +As she spoke the word "artful" her fine eyes smiled straight into +Braybrooke's, and she pinched her red lips together very expressively. + +"But I must confess," she added, "that at the moment we were discussing +diplomats." + +"Artful was rather unkind," murmured Braybrooke. "I--I hope you don't +think my friend Craven is one of that type?" + +"Oh, I wasn't thinking of Mr. Craven." + +The implication was fairly obvious, and Braybrooke did not miss it, +although he was not in possession of his full mental powers. + +"Perhaps it is our own fault," he said. "But I think we English are +often misunderstood." + +As he spoke he shot a rather poignant glance in the direction of Fanny +Cronin, who had now finished her tea, and was gathering her fur cloak +about her as if in preparation for departure. + +"In fact," he added, "I am sure of it. This very day even--" + +He paused, wondering how to put it, yet feeling that he really must at +all costs make matters fairly clear to his companion. + +"Yes?" said Miss Van Tuyn sweetly. + +"To-day, this afternoon, I think that your dear Miss Cronin failed once +or twice to grasp my full meaning when I was talking with her." + +"Oh, Fanny! But she's an old fool! Of course she's a dear, and I'm very +fond of her, but she is essentially nebulous. And what was it that you +think she misunderstood?" + +Braybrooke hesitated. It really was very difficult to put what he wanted +to say into words. Scarcely ever before had he felt himself so incapable +of dealing adequately with a socially awkward situation. If only he knew +what Miss Cronin had said to Miss Van Tuyn while he was ordering tea! + +"I could scarcely say I know. I really could not put my finger upon it," +he said at last. "There was a general atmosphere of confusion, or so it +seemed to me. We--we discussed marriage." + +"I hope the old dear didn't think you were proposing to her?" + +"Good heavens--oh, no! no! I don't quite know what she thought." (He +lowered his eyes.) "But it wasn't that." + +"That's a mercy at any rate!" + +Braybrooke still kept his eyes on the ground, but a dogged look came +into his face, and he said, speaking more resolutely: + +"I'm afraid I alarmed dear Miss Cronin." + +"How perfectly splendid!" said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"She is very fond of you." + +"Much fonder of Bourget!" + +"I don't think so," he said, with emphasis. "She is so devoted to +you that quite inadvertently I alarmed her. After all, we were--we +were"--nobly he decided to take the dreadful plunge--"we were two +elderly people talking together as elderly people will, I thought quite +freely and frankly, and I ventured--do forgive me--to hint that a great +many men must wish to marry you; young men suited to you, promising men, +men with big futures before them, anxious for a brilliant and beautiful +wife." + +"That was very charming and solicitous of you," said Miss Van Tuyn with +a smile. "But I don't know that they do!" + +"Do what?" said Braybrooke, almost losing his head, as he saw the +vision in the distance, now cloaked and gloved, rustling in an evident +preparation for something, which might be departure or might on the +other hand be approach. + +She observed him with a definite surprise, which she seemed desirous of +showing. + +"I was alluding to the promising men," she said. + +"Which men?" asked Braybrooke, still hypnotized by the vision. + +"The men with big futures before them who you were kind enough to tell +Fanny were longing to marry me." + +"Oh, yes!" (With a great effort he pulled himself together.) "Those men +to be sure!" + +The vision was now standing up and apparently disputing the bill, for it +was evidently talking at great length to a man in livery, who had a slip +of paper in his hand, and who occasionally pointed to it in a resentful +manner and said something, whereupon the vision made negative gestures +and there was much tossing and shaking of heads. Resolutely Braybrooke +looked away. It was nothing to do with him even if the Ritz was trying +to make an overcharge for plum cake. + +"I just hinted that there must be men who--but you understand?" + +Miss Van Tuyn smiled unembarrassed assent. + +"And then Miss Cronin"--he lowered his voice--"seemed thoroughly upset. +I scarcely knew what she thought I meant, but whatever it was I had not +meant it. That is certain. But the fact is she is so devoted to you that +the mere fact of your some day doing what all lovely and charming women +are asked to do and usually consent to do--but--but Miss Cronin seems +to--I think she wants to say something to you." + +Miss Van Tuyn looked suddenly rather rebellious. She did not glance +towards the Philadelphia school friends, but turned her shoulder towards +them and said: + +"Naturally my marriage would make a great difference to Fanny, but I +have never known her to worry about it." + +"She is worrying now!" said poor Braybrooke, with earnest conviction. +"But really she--I am sure she wishes to speak to you." + +The line showed itself in Miss Van Tuyn's forehead. + +"Will you be kind and just go and ask her what she wants? Please +tell her that I am not coming back yet as I am going to call on Lady +Sellingworth when I leave here." + +Braybrooke got up, trying to conceal his reluctance to obey. Miss +Cronin, entrenched as it were behind her old school friend, and with +dawnings of the dragon visible beneath her feathered hat, and even, +strangely, mysteriously, underneath her long cloak of musquash, was +endeavouring by signs and wonders to attract her Beryl's attention, +while Mrs. Clem Hodson stood looking imperious, and ready for any action +that would prove her solidarity with her old schoolmate. + +"What she wants--and you are going to call on Lady Sellingworth!" said +Braybrooke. + +"Yes; and to-night I'm dining out." + +"Dining out to-night--just so." + +There was no further excuse for delay, and he went towards the two old +ladies, a grievous ambassador. It really had been the most unpleasant +afternoon he remembered to have spent. He began to feel almost in +fault, almost as if he had done--or at the least had contemplated +doing--something outrageous, something for which he deserved the +punishment which was now being meted out to him. As he slowly approached +Miss Cronin he endeavoured resolutely to bear himself like a man who had +not proposed that day for Miss Van Tuyn's hand. But preposterously, Miss +Cronin's absurd misconception seemed to have power over his conscience, +and that again over his appearance and gait. He was fully aware, as he +went forward to convey Miss Van Tuyn's message, that he made a very poor +show of it. In fact, he was just then living up to Dick's description of +him as "the beard with the gentleman." + +"Oh, Mr. Braybrooke," said Miss Cronin as he came up, "so you are here +with Beryl!" + +"Yes; so I am here with Miss Van Tuyn!" + +Miss Cronin exchanged a glance with Mrs. Clem Hodson. + +"You didn't tell me when you called that you were taking her out to +tea!" + +"No, I didn't!" said Braybrooke. + +"This is my old schoolmate, Mrs. Clem Hodson. Suzanne, this is Mr. +Braybrooke, a friend of Beryl's." + +Mrs. Clem Hodson bowed from the waist, and looked at Braybrooke with +the expression of one who knew a great deal more about him than his own +mother knew. + +"This hotel overcharges," she said firmly. + +"Really! I should have scarcely have thought--" + +"There were two pieces of plum cake on the bill, and we only ate one." + +"Oh, I've just remembered," said Miss Cronin, as if irradiated with +sudden light. + +"What, dear?" + +"I _did_ have two slices. One was before the muffin, while we were +waiting for it, and the other was after. And I only remembered the +second." + +"In that case, dear, we've done the waiter an injustice and libelled the +hotel." + +"I will make it all right if you will allow me," said Braybrooke almost +obsequiously. "I'm well known here. I will explain to the manager, a +most charming man." + +He turned definitely to face Fanny Cronin. + +"Miss Van Tuyn asked me to tell you what she wants." + +"Indeed! Does she want something?" + +"No. I mean she told me to ask you what you want." + +Miss Cronin looked at Mrs. Clem Hodson, hesitated, and then made a very +definite rabbit's mouth. + +"I don't know that I want anything, thank you, Mr. Braybrooke. But if +Beryl is going--she is not going?" + +"I really don't know exactly." + +"She hasn't finished her tea, perhaps?" + +"I don't know for certain. But she asked me to tell you she wasn't +coming back yet"--the two old ladies exchanged glances which Braybrooke +longed to contradict--"as she is going to call on Lady Sellingworth +presently." + +"Ah!" said Mrs. Clem Hodson, gazing steadily at Fanny Cronin. + +"In Berkeley Square!" added Braybrooke emphatically. "And to-night she +is dining out." + +"Did she say where?" asked Miss Cronin, slightly moving her ears. + +"No; she didn't." + +"Thank you," said Miss Cronin. "Good-bye, Mr. Braybrooke." + +She held out her hand like one making a large and difficult concession +to her own Christianity. Mrs. Clem Hodson bowed again from the waist and +also made a concession. She muttered, "Very glad to have met you!" and +then cleared her throat, while the criss-cross of wrinkles moved all +over her face. + +"I will make it all right with the manager," said Braybrooke, with +over-anxious earnestness, and feeling now quite definitely that he +must really have proposed to Miss Cronin for Miss Van Tuyn's hand that +afternoon, and that he must have just lied about the disposal of her +time until she had to dress for dinner. + +"The manager?" said Miss Cronin. + +"What manager?" said Mrs. Clem Hodson. + +"About the plum cake! Surely you remember?" + +"Oh--the plum cake!" said Mrs. Hodson, looking steadily at Fanny Cronin. +"Thank you very much indeed! Very good of you!" + +"Thank you," said Miss Cronin, with a sudden piteous look. "I did eat +two slices. Come, Suzanne! Good-bye again, Mr. Braybrooke." + +They turned to go out. As Braybrooke watched the musquash slowly +vanishing he knew in his bones that, when he did not become engaged +to Miss Van Tuyn, Fanny Cronin, till the day of her death, would +feel positive that he had proposed to her that afternoon and had been +rejected. And he muttered in his beard: + +"Damn these red-headed old women! I will _not_ make it all right with +the manager about the plum cake!" + +It was a poor revenge, but the only one he could think of at the moment. + +"Is anything the matter?" asked Miss Van Tuyn when he rejoined her. "Has +old Fanny been tiresome?" + +"Oh, no--no! But old Fan--I beg your pardon, I mean Miss Cronin--Miss +Cronin has a peculiar--but she is very charming. I gave her your +message, and she quite understood. We were talking about plum cake. That +is why I was so long." + +"I see! A fascinating subject like that must be difficult to get away +from." + +"Yes--very! What a delightful woman Mrs. Hodson is." + +"I think her extremely wearisome. Her nature is as wrinkled as her face. +And now I must be on my way to Adela Sellingworth's." + +"May I walk with you as far as her door?" + +"Of course." + +When they were out in Piccadilly he said: + +"And now what about my promise to Mr. Craven?" + +"I shall be delighted to meet him again," said Miss Van Tuyn in a +careless voice. "And I would not have you break a promise on my account. +Such a sacred thing!" + +"But if he bores you--" + +"He doesn't bore me more than many young men do." + +"Then I will let you know. We might have a theatre party." + +"Anything you like. And why not ask Adela Sellingworth to make a +fourth?" + +This suggestion was not at all to Braybrooke's liking, but he scarcely +knew what to say in answer to it. Really, it seemed as if this afternoon +was to end as it had begun--in a contretemps. + +"I am so fond of her," continued Miss Van Tuyn. "And I'm sure she would +enjoy it." + +"But she so seldom goes out." + +"All the more reason to try to persuade her out of her shell. I believe +she will come if you tell her I and Mr. Craven make up the rest of the +party. We all got on so well together in Soho." + +"I will certainly ask her," said Braybrooke. + +What else could he say? + +At the corner of Berkeley Square Miss Van Tuyn stopped and rather +resolutely bade him good-bye. + +When Braybrooke was alone he felt almost tired out. If he had been an +Italian he would probably have believed that someone had looked on him +that day with the evil eye. He feared that he had been almost maladroit. +His social self-confidence was severely shaken. And yet he had only +meant well; he had only been trying to do what he considered his duty. +It had all begun with Miss Cronin's preposterous mistake. That had +thoroughly upset him, and from that moment he had not been in possession +of his normal means. And now he was let in for a party combining +Adela Sellingworth with Miss Van Tuyn and Craven. It was singularly +unfortunate. But probably Lady Sellingworth would refuse the invitation +he now had to send her. She really went out very seldom. He could only +hope for a refusal. That, too, was tragic. He could not remember ever +before having actively wished that an invitation of his should be +declined. + +He was so reduced in self-confidence and spirits that he turned into the +St. James's Club, sank down alone in a remote corner, and called for +a dry Martini, although he knew quite well that it would set up +fermentation. + + + + +PART FOUR + + + +CHAPTER I + +Lady Sellingworth was "not at home" when Miss Van Tuyn called, though no +doubt she was in the house, and the latter left her card, on which she +wrote in pencil, "So sorry not to find you. Do let us meet again soon. I +may not be in London much longer." When she wrote the last sentence she +was really thinking of Paris with a certain irritation of desire. In +Paris she always had a good, even a splendid, time. London was treating +her badly. Perhaps it was hardly worth while to stay on. She had many +adorers in Paris, and no elderly women there ever got in her way. +Frenchmen never ran after elderly women. She could not conceive of any +young Frenchman doing what Craven had done if offered the choice between +a girl of twenty-two and a woman of sixty. Englishmen really were +incomprehensible. Was it worth while to bother about them? Probably not. +But she was by nature combative as well as vain, and Craven's behaviour +had certainly given him a greater value in her estimation. If he had +done the quite ordinary thing, and fallen in love with her at once, +she might have been pleased and yet have thought very little of him. He +would then have been in a class with many others. Now he was decidedly +in a class by himself. If he loved he would not be an ordinary lover. +She was angry with him. She intended some day to punish him. But he +puzzled her, and very definitely now he attracted her. + +No; really she would not go back to Paris of the open arms and the +comprehensible behaviour without coming to conclusions with Craven. To +do so would be to retreat practically beaten from the field, and she had +never yet acknowledged a defeat. + +Besides, she had something in prospect, something that for the moment, +at any rate, would hold her in London even without the attraction, half +repellent, of Craven. Evidently Dick Garstin, for whatever reason, had +done something, or was about to do something, for her. Always he managed +to be irritating. It was just like him to spend two hours alone with her +without saying one word about the living bronze, and then to rouse her +curiosity when it was impossible that it should be gratified owing +to the presence of Braybrooke. Garstin could never do anything in a +pleasant and comfortable way. He must always, even in kindness, be +semi-malicious. There was at times something almost Satanic in his +ingenious avoidance of the common humanities. But it seemed that he was +about to comply with her expressed whim. He had surely spoken to the +Cafe Royal man, and had perhaps already received from him a promise to +visit the studio. + +She had not seen the stranger again. He had not been at the Cafe Royal +on the night when she had dined there alone. But Garstin must have seen +him again, unless, indeed, Garstin was being absolutely disgusting, was +condescending to a cheap and vulgar hoax. + +That was just possible. But somehow she believed in Garstin this +time. She felt almost sure that he had done what she wished, and that +to-morrow afternoon in Glebe Place she would meet the man to whom she +had offered the shilling. + +That would be distinctly amusing. She felt on the edge of a rather +uncommon adventure. + +On the following day, very soon after three, she pushed the bell outside +Garstin's studio door in Glebe Place. It was not answered immediately, +and, feeling impatient, she rang again without waiting long. Garstin +opened the door, and smiled rather maliciously on seeing her. + +"What a hurry you're in!" he said. "Come along in, my girl." + +As he shut the heavy door behind her she turned in the lobby and said: + +"Well, Dick?" + +"I'm working in the upstairs studio," he returned blandly. + +"What are you at work on?" + +"Go up and you'll see for yourself." + +She hastened through the studio on the ground floor, which was hung with +small landscapes, and sketches in charcoal, and audacious caricatures +of various well-known people. At the end of it was a short and wide +staircase. She mounted it swiftly, and came into another large studio +built out at the back of the building. Here Garstin worked on his +portraits, and here she expected to come face to face with the living +bronze. As she drew near to the entrance of the studio she felt positive +that he was waiting for her. But when she reached it and looked quickly +and expectantly round she saw at once that the great room was empty. +Only the few portraits on easels and on the pale walls looked at her +with the vivid eyes which Garstin knew how to endow with an almost +abnormal life. + +Evidently Garstin had stopped below for a moment in the ground floor +studio, but she now heard his heavy tramp on the stairs behind her and +turned almost angrily. + +"Dick, is this intended for a joke?" + +"What do you mean by 'this'?" + +"You know! Have you brought me here under false pretences? You know +quite well why I came." + +"Why don't you take off your hat?" + +But for once Miss Van Tuyn's vanity was not on the alert; for once she +did not care whether Garstin admired her head or not. + +"I shall not take off my hat," she said brusquely. "I don't intend to +stay unless there is the reason which I expected and which induced me to +come here. Have you seen that remarkable-looking man again or not?" + +"I have," said Garstin with a mischievous smile. + +Miss Van Tuyn looked slightly mollified, but still uncertain. + +"Did you speak to him?" she asked. + +"I did." + +"What did he say?" + +"I told him to come along to the studio." + +"You did! And--?" + +"Why don't you take off your hat?" + +"Because it suits me particularly well. Now tell me at once, don't be +malicious and tiresome--are you expecting him?" + +"I couldn't say that." + +"You are not expecting him!" + +"My good girl, we expect from those we rely on. What do I know about +this fellow's character? I told him who I was, and what I wanted with +him, and that I wanted it with him at three this afternoon. He's got the +address. But whether we have any reason to expect him is more than I can +say." + +She looked quickly at the watch on her wrist. + +"It is past three. I was late." + +After an instant of silence she sat down on an old-fashioned sofa +covered with dull green and red silk. Just behind it on an easel stood a +half-finished portrait of the Cora woman, staring with hungry eyes over +an empty tumbler. + +"Give me a cigarette, Dick," she said. "Did he say he would come?" + +The painter went over to an old Spanish cabinet and rummaged for a box +of cigarettes, with his horsey-looking back turned towards her. + +"Did he?" she repeated. "Can't you tell me what happened when you spoke +to him? Why force me to cross-examine you in this indelicate way?" + +"Here you are!" said Garstin, turning round with a box of cigarettes. + +"Thank you." + +"I gave him my name." + +"He knew it, of course?" + +"He didn't say so. There was no celebrity-start of pleasure. I had to +explain that I occasionally painted portraits and that I wished to make +a study of his damned remarkable head. Upon that he handed me his card. +Here it is." + +And Garstin drew out of a side pocket a visiting-card, which he gave to +Miss Van Tuyn. + +She read: "Nicolas Arabian." + +There was no address in the corner. + +"What a curious name!" + +She sat gazing at the card and smoking her cigarette. + +"Do you know where he is staying?" + +"No." + +"Did you speak English to him?" + +"I did." + +"And he spoke good English?" + +"Yes, with a foreign accent of some kind." + +At this moment an electric bell sounded below. + +"There he is!" said Miss Van Tuyn, quickly giving back the card to +Garstin, who dropped it into his pocket. "Do go down quickly and let him +in, or he may think it is all a hoax and go away." + +The painter stood looking at her keenly, with his hands in his pockets +and his strong, thin legs rather wide apart. + +"Well, at any rate you're damned unconventional!" he said. "At this +moment you even look unconventional. What are your eyes shining about?" + +"Dick--do go!" + +She laid a hand on his arm. There was a strong grip in her fingers. + +"This is a little adventure. And I love an adventure," she said. + +"I only hope it ends badly," said Garstin, as he turned towards the +staircase. "He's more patient than you. He hasn't rung twice." + +"I believe he's gone away," she said, almost angrily as he disappeared +down the stairs. + +She got up. There was a grand piano in the studio at the far end. She +moved as if she were going towards it, then returned and went to the +head of the stairs. She heard the front door open and listened. Dick +Garstin's big bass voice said in an offhand tone: + +"Halloh! Thought you weren't coming! Glad to see you. Come along in!" + +"I know I am late," said a warm voice--the voice of a man. "For me this +place has been rather difficult to find. I am not well acquainted with +the painters' quarter of London." + +A door banged heavily. Then Miss Van Tuyn heard steps, and again the +warm voice saying: + +"I see you do caricatures. Or are these not by you?" + +"Every one of them!" said Garstin. "Except that. That's a copy I made of +one of Leonardo's horrors. It's fine. It's a thing to live with." + +"Leonardo--ah, yes!" said the voice. + +"I wonder if that man has ever heard of Leonardo?" was Miss Van Tuyn's +thought just then. + +"Up those stairs right ahead of you," said Garstin. + +Miss Van Tuyn quickly drew back and sat down again on the sofa. An +instant after she had done so the living bronze appeared at the top of +the stairs, and his big brown eyes rested on her. No expression either +of surprise, or of anything else, came into his face as he saw her. +And she realized immediately that whatever else this man was he was +supremely self-possessed. Yet he had turned away from her shilling. Why +was that? In that moment she began to wonder about him. He stood still, +waiting for Garstin to join him. As he did this he looked formal but +amazingly handsome, though there were some lines about his eyes which +she had not noticed in the Cafe Royal. He was dressed in a dark town +suit and wore a big double-breasted overcoat. He was holding a black +bowler hat, a pair of thick white gloves and a silver-topped stick. As +Garstin joined him, Miss Van Tuyn slowly got up from her sofa. + +"A friend of mine--Beryl Van Tuyn," said Garstin. "Come to have a look +round at what I'm up to." (He glanced at Miss Van Tuyn.) "Mr. Arabian," +he added. "Take off your coat, won't you? Throw it anywhere." + +Arabian bowed to Miss Van Tuyn, still looking formal and as if she were +a total stranger whom he had never set eyes on before. She bowed to +him. As she did so she thought that he was a little older than she +had supposed. He was certainly over thirty. She wondered about his +nationality and suspected that very mixed blood ran in his veins. +Somehow, in spite of his quite extraordinary good looks, she felt almost +certain that he was not a pure type of any nation. In her mind she +dubbed him on the spot "a marvellous mongrel." + +He obeyed Garstin's suggestion, took off his coat, and laid it with his +hat, gloves and stick on a chair close to the staircase. Then for the +first time he spoke to Miss Van Tuyn, who was still standing. + +"I always love a studio, mademoiselle," he said, "and when Mr. Dick +Garstin"--he pronounced the name with careful clearness--"was good +enough to invite me to his I was very thankful. His pictures are +famous." + +"You've been getting me up," said Garstin bluntly. "Reading 'Who's +Who'!" + +Arabian raised his eyebrows. + +"I beg your pardon?" + +"Don't be absurd and put on false modesty, Dick," said Miss Van Tuyn. +"As if you weren't known to everyone!" + +It was the first time she had spoken in Arabian's hearing since the +episode in Shaftesbury Avenue, and, as she uttered her first words, she +thought she detected a faint and fleeting look of surprise--it was like +a mental start made visible--slip over his face, like a ray of pale +light slipping over a surface. Immediately afterwards a keen expression +came into his eyes, and he looked rather more self-possessed than +before, rather harder even. + +"Everyone, of course, knows your name, Mr. Dick Garstin, as mademoiselle +says." + +"Right you are!" said Garstin gruffly. "Glad to hear it!" + +He now directed the two pin-points of light to the new visitor, stared +at him with almost cruel severity, and yet with a curiously inward +look, frowning and lifting his long pursed lips, till the upper lip was +pressed against the bottom of his beaked nose. + +"Are you going to allow me to paint you?" he said. "That's what +I'm after. I should like to do a head and bust of you. I could make +something of it--something--yes!" + +He still stared with concentrated attention, and suddenly a faint +whistle came from his lips. Without removing his eyes from Arabian he +whistled several times a little tune of five notes, like the song of a +thrush. Arabian meanwhile returned his gaze rather doubtfully, slightly +smiling. + +"Ever been painted?" said Garstin at last. + +"No, never. Once I have sat to a sculptor for the figure. But that was +when I was very young. I was something of an athlete as a boy." + +"I should say so," said Garstin. "Well, what do you think, eh?" + +Miss Van Tuyn had sat down on the sofa again, and was lighting another +cigarette. She looked at the two men with interest. She now knew that +what Garstin had done he had really done for himself, not for her. As +he had said, he did not paint for the pleasure of others, but only for +reasons of his own. Apparently he would never gratify her vanity. But +he gratified something else in her, her genuine love of talent and the +ruthlessness of talent. There was really something of the great man in +Garstin, and she appreciated it. She admired him more than she liked +him. Even in her frequent irritation against him she knew what he +genuinely was. At this moment something in her was sharply disappointed. +But something else in her was curiously satisfied. + +In reply to Garstin's question Arabian asked another question. + +"You wish to make a portrait of me?" + +"I do--in oils." + +"Will it take long?" + +"I couldn't say. I might be a week over it, or less, or more. I shall +want you every day." + +"And when it is done?" said Arabian. "What happens to it?" + +"If it's up to the mark--my mark--I shall want to exhibit it." + +Arabian said nothing for a moment. He seemed to be thinking rather +seriously, and presently his large eyes turned towards Miss Van Tuyn for +an instant, almost, she thought, as if they wished to consult her, to +read in her eyes something which might help him to a decision. She felt +that the man was flattered by Garstin's request, but she felt also that +something--she did not know what--held him back from granting it. And +again she wondered about him. + +What was he? She could not divine. She looked at him and felt that she +was looking at a book not one of whose pages she could read. And yet +she thought he had what is sometimes called an "open" face. There was +nothing sly in the expression of his eyes. They met other eyes steadily, +sometimes with a sort of frank audacity, sometimes with--apparently--an +almost pleading wistfulness. + +Finally, as if coming to a conclusion as to what he considered it wise +to do for the moment, Arabian said: + +"Excuse me, but are these pictures which I see portraits painted by +you?" + +"Every one of them," said Garstin, rather roughly and impatiently. + +"Will you allow me to look at them?" + +"They're there to be looked at." + +Again Arabian glanced at Miss Van Tuyn. She got up from the sofa +quickly. + +"I will show Mr. Arabian the pictures," she said. + +She had noticed the cloud lowering on Garstin's face and knew that he +was irritated by Arabian's hesitation. As Garstin had once said to her +he could be "sensitive," although his manners were often rough, and +his face was what is usually called a "hard" face. And he was quite +unaccustomed to meet with any resistance, even with any hesitation, +when he was disposed to paint anyone, man or woman. Besides, the fact +of Arabian's arrival at the studio had naturally led Garstin to expect +compliance with his wish already expressed at the Cafe Royal. He was now +obviously in a surly temper, and Miss Van Tuyn knew from experience that +when resisted he was quite capable of an explosion. How, she wondered, +would Arabian face an outburst from Garstin? She could not tell. But she +thought it wise if possible to avoid anything disagreeable. So she came +forward smiling. + +"That will be very kind," said Arabian, in his soft and warm voice, and +with his marked but charming foreign accent. "I am not expert in these +matters." + +Garstin pushed up his lips in a sort of sneer. Miss Van Tuyn sent him a +look, and for once he heeded a wish of hers. + +"I'll be back in a minute," he said. "Have a good stare at my stuff, and +if you don't like it--why, damn it, you're free to say so." + +Miss Van Tuyn's look had sent him away down the stairs to the ground +floor studio. Arabian had not missed her message, but he was apparently +quite impassive, and did not show that he had noticed the painter's ill +humour. + +For the first time Miss Van Tuyn was quite alone with the living bronze. + +"Do you know much about pictures?" she asked him. + +"Not very much," he answered, with a long, soft look at her. "I have +only one way to judge them." + +"And what way is that?" + +"If they are portraits, I mean." + +"Yes?" + +"I judge them by their humanity. One does not want to be made worse than +one is in a picture." + +"I'm afraid you won't like Dick Garstin's work," she said decisively. + +She was rather disappointed. Had this audaciously handsome man a cult +for the pretty-pretty? + +"Let us see!" he replied, smiling. + +He looked round the big studio. As he did so she noticed that he had an +extraordinarily quick and all-seeing glance, and realized that in some +way, in some direction, he must be clever, even exceptionally clever. +There were some eight to ten portraits in the studio, a few finished, +others half finished or only just begun. Arabian went first to stand +before the finished portrait of a girl of about eighteen, whose face +was already plainly marked--blurred, not sharpened--by vice. Her youth +seemed obscured by a faint fog of vice--as if she had projected it, and +was slightly withdrawn behind it. Arabian looked at her in silence. Miss +Van Tuyn watched him, standing back, not quite level with him. And she +saw on his face an expression that suggested to her a man contemplating +something he was very much at home with. + +"That is a bad girl!" was his only comment, as he moved on to the next +picture. + +This was also the portrait of a woman, but of a woman well on in life, +an elderly and battered siren of the streets, wrecked by men and by +drink. Only the head and bust were shown, a withered head crowning a +bust which had sunken in. There was an old pink hat set awry on the +head. From beneath it escaped coarse wisps of almost orange-coloured +hair. The dull, small eyes were deep-set under brows which looked +feverish. A livid spot of red glowed almost like a torch-end on each +high cheek-bone. The mouth had fallen open. + +Arabian examined this tragedy, which was one of Garstin's finest bits +of work in Miss Van Tuyn's estimation, with careful and close attention, +but without showing the faintest symptom of either pity or disgust. + +"In my opinion that is well painted," was his comment. "They do get to +be like that. And then they starve. And that is because they have no +brains." + +"Garstin swears that woman must once have been very beautiful," said +Miss Van Tuyn. + +"Oh--quite possible," said Arabian. + +"Well, I can't conceive it." + +He turned and gave her a long, steady look, full of softness and ardour. + +"It would be very sad if you could," he said. "Excuse me, but are you +American?" + +"Yes." + +"Well, Americans never get like that. They are too practical." + +"And not romantic--do you mean?" she said, not without irony. + +"They can be romantic, but they save themselves from disaster with their +practical sense. I hope I put it right." + +She smiled at him. + +"You speak very good English. What do you think of this?" + +"But I have seen her!" he said. + +They had come to the easel on which was the half-finished portrait of +Cora, staring across her empty glass. + +"She goes to the Cafe Royal." + +He looked again at Miss Van Tuyn. + +"Do you ever go there?" he asked gravely. + +"No, never," she said with calm simplicity, returning his gaze. + +"Well she--that woman--sits there alone just like that. She has a +purpose. She is waiting for someone to come in who will come some +night. And she knows that, and will wait, like a dog before a hole which +contains something he intends to kill. This Mr. Dick Garstin is very +clever. He is more than a painter; he is an understander." + +"Ah!" she said, intimately pleased by this remark. "You do appreciate +him! Garstin is great because he paints not merely for the eye that +looks for a sort of painted photograph, but for the eye that demands a +summing up of character." + +Arabian looked sideways at her. + +"What is that--of character, mademoiselle?" + +"A summing up! That is a presentation of the sum total of the +character." + +"Oh, yes." + +He looked again at Cora. + +"One knows what she is by that," he said. + +Then, standing still, he looked rapidly all round the studio, glancing +first at one portrait then at another, with eyes which despite their +lustrous softness, seemed to make a sort of prey of whatever they +lighted on. + +"But they are all women and all of a certain world!" he said, almost +suspiciously. "Why is that?" + +"Garstin is passing through a phase just now. He paints from the Cafe +Royal." + +"Oh!" + +He paused, and his brown face took on a look of rather hard meditation. + +"Does he never paint what they call decent people?" he inquired. "One +may occasionally spend an hour at the Cafe Royal--especially if one is +not English--without belonging to the _bas-fonds_. I do not know whether +Mr. Dick Garstin understands that." + +"Of course he does," she said, instantly grasping the meaning of his +hesitation. "But there is one portrait--of a man--which I don't think +you have looked at." + +"Where?" + +"On that big easel with its back to us. If you want a decent +person"--she spoke with a slightly ironical intonation--"go and see what +Garstin can do with decency." + +"I will." + +And he walked over to the side of the room opposite to the grand piano, +and went to stand in front of the easel she had indicated. She stood +where she was and watched him. For two or three minutes he looked at the +picture in silence, and she thought his expression had become slightly +hostile. His audacious and rather thick lips were set together firmly, +almost too firmly. His splendid figure supple, athletic and harmonious, +looked almost rigid. She wondered what he was feeling, whether he +disliked the portrait of the judge of the Criminal Court at which he was +looking. Finally he said: + +"I think Mr. Dick Garstin is a humorist. Do not you?" + +"But--why?" + +"To put this gentleman in the midst of all the law breakers." + +Miss Van Tuyn crossed the room and joined him in front of the picture, +which showed the judge seated in his wig and robes. + +"And that is not all," added Arabian. "This man's business is to judge +others, naughty people who do God knows what, and, it seems, have to be +punished sometimes. Is it not?" + +"Yes, to be sure." + +"But Mr. Dick Garstin when painting him is saying to himself all the +time, 'And he is naughty, too! And who is going to put on wig and red +clothes and tell him he, too, deserves a few months of prison?' Now is +not that true, mademoiselle? Is not that man bad underneath the judge's +skin? And has not Mr. Dick Garstin found this out, and does not he use +all his cleverness to show it?" + +Miss Van Tuyn looked at Arabian with a stronger interest than any she +had shown yet. It was quite true. Garstin had a peculiar faculty for +getting at the lower parts of a character and for bringing it to the +surface in his portraits. Perhaps in the exercise of this faculty he +showed his ingrained cynicism, sometimes even his malice. Arabian had, +it seemed, immediately discovered the painter's predominant quality as a +psychologist of the brush. + +"You are quite right," she said. "One feels that someone ought to judge +that judge." + +"That is more than a portrait of one man," said Arabian. "It is a +portrait of the world's hypocrisy." + +In saying this his usually soft voice suddenly took on an almost biting +tone. + +"The question is," he added, "whether one wishes to be painted as bad +when perhaps one is not so bad. Many people, I think, might fear to be +painted by this very famous Mr. Dick Garstin." + +"Would you be afraid to be painted by him?" she said. + +He cast a sharp glance at her with eyes which looked suddenly vigilant. + +"I did not say that." + +"He'll be furious if you refuse." + +"I see he is accustomed generally to have what he wishes." + +"Yes. And he would make a magnificent thing of you. I am certain of +that." + +She saw vanity looking out of his eyes, and her vanity felt suddenly +almost strangely at home with it. + +"It is a compliment, I know, that he should wish to paint me," said +Arabian. "But why does he?" + +The question sounded to Miss Van Tuyn almost suspicious. + +"He admires your appearance," she answered. "He thinks you a very +striking type." + +"Ah! A type! But what of?" + +"He didn't tell me," she answered. + +Arabian was silent for a moment; then he said: + +"Does Mr. Dick Garstin get high prices for his portraits? Are they worth +a great deal?" + +"Yes," she said, with a sudden light touch of disdain, which she could +not forego. "The smallest sketch of a head painted by him will fetch a +lot of money." + +"Ah--indeed!" + +"Let him paint you! There he is--coming back." + +As Garstin reappeared Arabian turned to him with a smile that looked +cordial and yet that seemed somehow wanting in real geniality. + +"I have seen them all." + +"Have you? Well, let's have a drink." + +He went over to the Spanish cabinet and brought out of it a flagon of +old English glass ware, soda-water, and three tall tulip-shaped glasses +with long stems. + +"Come on. Let's sit down," he said, setting them down on a table. "I'll +get the cigars. Squat here, Beryl. Here's a chair for you, Arabian. Help +yourselves." + +He moved off and returned with a box of his deadly cigars. Arabian took +one without hesitation, and accepted a stiff whisky and soda. While he +had been downstairs Garstin had apparently recovered his good humour, or +had deliberately made up his mind to take a certain line with his guest +from the Cafe Royal. He said nothing about his pictures, made no further +allusion to his wish to paint Arabian's portrait, but flung himself +down, lit a cigar, and began to drink and smoke and talk, very much +as if he were in the bar of an inn with a lot of good fellows. When he +chose Garstin could be human and genial, at times even rowdy. He was +genial enough now, but Miss Van Tuyn, who was very sharp about almost +everything connected with people, thought of a patient's first visit to +a famous specialist, and of the quarter of an hour so often apparently +wasted by the great physician as he talks about topics unconnected +with symptoms to his anxious visitor. She was certain that Garstin was +determined to paint Arabian whether the latter was willing to be painted +or not, and she was equally certain that already Garstin had begun to +work on his sitter, not with brushes but with the mind. For his +own benefit, and incidentally for hers, Garstin was carelessly, but +cleverly, trying to find out things about Arabian, not things about his +life, but things about his education, and his mind and his temperament. +He did not ask him vulgar questions. He just talked, and watched, and +occasionally listened in the midst of the cigar smoke, and often with +the whisky at his lips. + +She had refused to take any whisky, but smoked cigarette after cigarette +quickly, nervously almost. She was enjoying herself immensely, but she +felt unusually excited, mentally restless, almost mentally agitated. Her +usual coolness of mind had been changed into a sort of glow by Garstin +and the living bronze. She always liked being alone with men, hearing +men talk among themselves or talking with them free from the presence +of women. But to-day she was exceptionally stimulated for she was +exceptionally curious. There was something in Arabian which vaguely +troubled her, and which also enticed her almost against her will. And +now she was following along a track, pioneered by a clever and cunning +leader. + +Garstin talked about London, which Arabian apparently knew fairly well, +though he said he had never lived long in London; then about Paris, +which Arabian also knew and spoke of like a man who visited it now +and then for purposes of pleasure. Then Garstin spoke of the art he +followed, of the old Italian painters and of the Galleries of Italy. +Arabian became very quiet. His attitude and bearing were those of one +almost respectfully listening to an expert holding forth on a subject +he had made his own. Now and then he said something non-committal. There +was no evidence that he had any knowledge of Italian pictures, that he +could distinguish between a Giovanni Bellini and a Raphael, tell a Luini +from a Titian. + +Miss Van Tuyn wondered again whether he had ever heard of Leonardo. + +Garstin mentioned some Paris painters of the past, but of more recent +times than those of the grand old Italians, spoke of Courbet, of Manet, +of Renoir, Guilaumin, Sisley, the Barbizon school, Cezanne and his +followers. Finally he came to the greatest of the French Impressionist +painters, to Pissaro, for whom, as Miss Van Tuyn knew, he had an +admiration which amounted almost to a cult. + +"He's a glorious fellow, isn't he?" he said in his loud bass voice to +Arabian. "You know his 'Pont Neuf,' of course?" + +He did not wait for an answer, but drove on with immense energy, puffing +away at his cigar and turning his small, keen eyes swiftly from Arabian +to Miss Van Tuyn and back again. The talk, which was now a monologue, +fed by frequent draughts of the excellent whisky, included a +dissertation on Pissaro's oil paintings, his water-colours, his +etchings and lithographs, his pupils, Cezanne, Van Gogh and Gauguin, his +friendships, his troubles, and finally a paean on his desperate love of +work, which was evidently shared by the speaker. + +"Work--it's _the_ thing in life!" roared Garstin. "It's the great +consolation for all the damnableness of the human existence. Work first +and the love of women second!" + +"Thank you very much for your chivalry, Dick," said Miss Van Tuyn, +sending one of her most charming blue glances to the living bronze, who +returned it, almost eagerly, she thought. + +"And the love of women betrays," continued Garstin. "But work never lets +you down." + +He flung out his right arm and quoted sonorously from Pissaro: "I +paint portraits because doing it helps me to live!" he almost shouted. +"Another cigar!" He turned to Arabian. + +"Thank you. They are beauties and not too strong." + +"You've got a damned strong constitution if you can say that. You have +been like me; you have fortified it by work." + +"I fear not," he said with a smile. "I have been a flaneur, an idler. +It has been my great misfortune to have enough money for what I want +without working." + +"Like poor me!" said Miss Van Tuyn, feeling suddenly relieved. + +"I pity you both!" said Garstin. + +And he branched away to literature, to music, to sculpture. Lowering his +big voice suddenly he spoke of the bronzes of the Naples Museum, half +shutting his eyes till they were two narrow slits, and looking intently +at Arabian. + +"You have the throat of one of those bronzes," he said bluntly, "and +should never wear that cursed abomination, a starched linen collar." + +"What is one to do in London?" murmured Arabian, suddenly stretching his +brown throat and lifting his strong chin. + +"Show it something worth looking at," said Garstin. + +And he returned to the subject of women, and spoke on it so freely and +fully that Miss Van Tuyn presently pulled him up. Rather to her surprise +he showed unusual meekness under her interruption. + +"All right, my girl! I've done! I've done! But I always forget you're +not a young man." + +"_Ma foi!_" said Arabian, almost under his breath. + +Garstin looked across at him + +"She's a Tartar. She'd keep the devil himself in order." + +"He deserves restraint far less than you do," said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"She won't leave me alone," continued Garstin, flinging one leg over the +arm of his easy chair. "She even attacks me about my painting, says I +only paint the rats of the sewers." + +"I never said that," said Miss Van Tuyn. "I said you were a painter of +the underworld, and so you are." + +"But Mr. Dick Garstin also paints judges, mademoiselle," said Arabian. + +"Oh, lord! Drop the Mister! I'm Dick Garstin _tout court_ or I'm +nothing. Now, Arabian, you know the reason, part of the reason, why I +want to stick you on canvas." + +"You mean because--" + +He seemed to hesitate, and touched his little Guardsman's moustache. + +"Because you're a jolly fine subject and nothing to do with the darlings +that live in the sewers." + +"Ah! Thank you!" said Arabian. "But you paint judges." + +"I only put that red-faced old ruffian here as a joke. Directly I set +eyes on him I knew he ought to have been in quod himself! Come now, what +do you say? Look here! I'll make a bargain with you. I'll give you the +thing when it's done." + +Miss Van Tuyn looked at Garstin in amazement, and missed the sudden +gleam of light that came into Arabian's eyes. But Garstin did not miss +it and repeated: + +"I'll give you the thing! Now what do you say? Is it a bargain?" + +"But how can I accept?" said Arabian, quickly adding: "And how can I +refuse? Mr.--" + +"Drop the Mister, I say." + +"Dick Garstin then." + +"That's better." + +"I wish to tell you that I am not a connoisseur of art. On the other +hand, please, I have an eye for what is fine. Mademoiselle, I hope, will +say it is so?" + +He looked at Miss Van Tuyn. + +"Mr. Arabian made some remarkably cute remarks about the portraits, +Dick," she said in reply to the glance. + +"I care for a fine painting so much that really I do not know how to +refuse the temptation you offer me--Dick Garstin." + +Garstin poured himself out another whisky. + +"I'll start on it to-morrow," he said, staring hard at the man who had +now become definitely his subject. + +Soon afterwards Arabian got up and said he must go. As he said this he +looked pleadingly at Miss Van Tuyn. But she sat still in her chair, a +cigarette between her lips. He said "good-bye" to her formally. Garstin +went down with Arabian to let him out, and was away for three or four +minutes. From her chair Miss Van Tuyn heard a murmur of voices, then +presently a loud bass: "To-morrow morning at eleven sharp," then the +bang of a door. A minute later Garstin bounded up the stairs heavily, +yet with a strong agility. + +"I've got him, my girl! He's afraid of it like the devil, but I've got +him. I hit on the only way. I found the only bait which my fish would +take. Now for another cigar." + +He seized the box. + +"Did you see his eyes when I said I'd give him the picture?" + +"No; I was looking at you." + +"Then you missed revelation. I had diagnosed him all right." + +"Tell me your diagnosis." + +"I told it you long ago. That fellow is a being of the underworld." + +Miss Van Tuyn slightly reddened. + +"I wonder!" she said. "I'm not at all sure that you're right, Dick." + +"What did you gather when I put him through his paces just now?" he +asked, sending out clouds of strong-smelling smoke. + +"Oh, I don't know! Not very much. He seems to have been about, to have +plenty of money." + +"And no education. He doesn't know a thing about pictures, painters. +Just at first I thought he might have been a model. Not a bit of +it! Books mean nothing to him. What that chap has studied is the +pornographic book of life, my girl. He has no imagination. His feeling +runs straight in the direction of sensuality. He's as ignorant and as +clever as they're made. He's never done a stroke of honest work in his +life, and despises all those who are fools enough to toil, me among +them. He is as acquisitive as a monkey and a magpie rolled into one. +His constitution is made of iron, and I dare say his nerves are made +of steel. He's a rare one, I tell you, and I'll make a rare picture of +him." + +"I don't know whether you are right, Dick." + +Garstin seemed quite unaffected by her doubt of his power to read +character. Perhaps at that moment he was coolly reading hers, and +laughing to himself about women. But if so, he did not show it. And she +said in a moment: + +"You are really going to give him the portrait?" + +"Yes, when I've exhibited it. Not before, of course. The gentleman isn't +going to have it all his own way." + +Miss Van Tuyn looked rather thoughtful, even preoccupied. Almost +immediately afterwards she got up to go. + +"Coming to-morrow?" he said. + +"What--to see you paint?" + +"Coming?" + +"You really mean that I may?" + +"I do. You'll help me." + +She looked rather startled, and then, immediately, keenly curious. + +"I don't see how." + +"No reason you should! Now off with you! I've got things to do." + +"Then good-bye." + +As she was going away she stopped for a moment before the portrait of +the judge. + +"He found out why you painted that portrait." + +"Arabian?" said Garstin. + +"Yes. And he said something about it that wasn't stupid." + +"What was that?" + +"He said it was more than a portrait of one man, that it was a portrait +of the world's hypocrisy." + +"Damned good!" said Garstin with a sonorous chuckle. "And his portrait +will be more than the portrait of one man." + +"Yes?" she said, looking eagerly at him. + +But he would not say anything more, and she went away full of deep +curiosity, but thankful that she had decided to stay on in London. + + + +CHAPTER II + +Two days after the visit of Arabian to Dick Garstin's studio Lady +Sellingworth received a note from Francis Braybrooke, who invited her +to dine with him at the Carlton on the following evening, and to visit a +theatre afterwards. "Our young friends, Beryl Van Tuyn and Alick Craven" +would be of the party, he hoped. Lady Sellingworth had no engagement. +She seldom left home in the evening. Yet she hesitated to accept this +invitation. She had not seen Miss Van Tuyn since the evening in Soho, +nor Braybrooke since his visit to Berkeley Square to tell her about his +trip to Paris, but she had seen Craven three times, and each time alone. +Their intimacy had deepened with a rapidity which now almost startled +her as she thought of it, holding Braybrooke's unanswered note. Already +it seemed very strange to recall the time when she had not known Craven, +when she had never seen him, had never heard of him. Sixty years she had +lived without this young man in her life. She could hardly believe that. +And now, with this call to meet him in public, before very watchful +eyes, and in the company of two people who she was sure were in +different ways hostile to her intimacy with him, she felt the cold touch +of fear. And she doubted what course to take. + +She wondered why Braybrooke had asked her and suspected a purpose. In +a moment she believed that she had guessed what that purpose was. +Braybrooke was meditating a stroke against her. She had felt that in her +drawing-room with him. For some reason--perhaps only that of a social +busybody--he wanted to bring about a match between Craven and Miss Van +Tuyn. He had said with emphasis that Craven had almost raved about the +lovely American. Lady Sellingworth did not believe that assertion. She +felt sure that when he had made it Braybrooke had told her a lie. +Craven had amply proved to her his indifference towards Miss Van Tuyn. +Braybrooke's lie surely indicated a desire to detach his old friend's +attention from the young man he had introduced into her life, and +must mean that he was a little afraid of her influence. It had been +practically a suggestion to her that youth triumphant must win in +any battle with old age; yet it had implied a doubt, if not an actual +uneasiness. And now came this invitation to meet "our young friends." +Lady Sellingworth thought of the contrast between herself and Beryl Van +Tuyn. She had not worried about it in the _Bella Napoli_ when she and +the young friends were together. But now--things were different now. +She had, or believed she had, something to lose. And she did not want to +lose it. It would be horrible to lose it! + +Perhaps Braybrooke wished Craven to see her with Beryl Van Tuyn in the +glare of electric light. Perhaps that was the reason of this unexpected +invitation. If so, it was an almost diabolically cruel reason. + +She resolved to refuse the invitation. But again a voice through the +telephone caused her to change her mind. And again it was Craven's +voice. It asked her whether she had received an invitation from +Braybrooke, and on her replying that she had, it begged her to accept it +if she had not done so already. And she yielded. If Craven wished her +to go she would go. Why should she be afraid? In her ugliness surely she +triumphed as no beauty could ever triumph. She told herself that and for +a moment felt reassured, more than reassured, safe and happy. For the +inner thing, the dweller in the temple, felt that it, and it alone, was +exercising intimate power. But then a look into the glass terrified +her. And she sat down and wrote two notes. One was to Francis Braybrooke +accepting the invitation; the other was to a man with a Greek name and +was addressed to a house in South Moulton Street. + +Francis Braybrooke felt rather uneasy about his party when the day came, +but he was a man of the world, and resolved to "put a good face on +it." No more social catastrophes for him! Another fiasco would, he was +certain, destroy his nerve and render him quite unfit to retain his +place in society. He pulled himself together, using his will to the +uttermost, and dressed for dinner with a still determination to carry +things through with a high hand. The worst of it was that he had an +uneasy feeling--quite uncalled for, he was sure of that--of being a +false friend. For Lady Sellingworth was his friend. He had known her +for many years, whereas Craven and Beryl Van Tuyn were comparatively +new-comers in his life. And yet he was engaged in something not quite +unlike a conspiracy against this old friend. Craven had said she was +lonely. Perhaps that was true. Women who lived by themselves generally +felt lonelier than men in a like situation. Craven, perhaps, was +bringing a little solace into this lonely life. And now he, Braybrooke, +was endeavouring to make an end of that solace. For he quite understood +that, women being as they are, a strong friendship between Adela +Sellingworth and Craven was quite incompatible with a love affair +between Craven and Beryl Van Tuyn. He hoped he was not a traitor as he +carefully arranged his rather large tie. But anything was better than a +tragedy. And with women of Adela Sellingworth's reputed temperament one +never knew quite what might happen. Her emergence, after ten years, into +Shaftesbury Avenue and Soho had severely shaken Braybrooke's faith in +her sobriety, fostered though it had been, created even, by her ten +years of distinguished retirement. Damped-down fires sometimes blaze +forth unexpectedly and rage with fury. He hoped he was doing the right +thing. Anyhow, it was not his fault that Lady Sellingworth was to be of +his party tonight. Miss Van Tuyn was responsible for that. + +He rang the bell, which was answered by his valet. + +"Please fetch the theatre ticket, Walter. It is in the drawer of my +writing-table in the library. A box for the Shaftesbury Theatre." + +"Yes, sir." + +Walter went out and returned in a moment with the ticket. He was an old +servant and occasionally exchanged ideas with his master. As he gave +Braybrooke the envelope containing the ticket, he said: + +"A very remarkable play, sir. I think you will enjoy it." + +"What! Have you seen it?" + +"Yes, sir, _The Great Lover_. My wife would go. She liked the name, sir. +About a singer, sir, who kept on loving like a young man when the age +for it was really what one might call over, sir. But it seems that for +some it never is over, sir." + +"Good heavens, have I done the wrong thing again?" thought Braybrooke, +who had chosen the play almost at random, without knowing much about it +except that an actor unknown to him, one Moscovitch, was said to be very +fine in it. + +"How old is the singer?" he inquired anxiously. + +"I couldn't say for certain, sir. But somewhere in the forties, I should +think, and nearing fifty. He loses his voice, sir, but still answers to +young women at the telephone." + +"Dear! Dear!" + +"But as my wife says, sir, with a man it's not such a great matter. But +with a woman--well!" + +He pursed his narrow lips and half-shut his small grey eyes. + +"Ah!" said Braybrooke, feeling extremely uncomfortable. "Good night, +Walter. You needn't sit up." + +"Thank you, sir. Good night, sir." + +"Really the evil eye must have looked at me!" thought Braybrooke, as he +went downstairs. "I'm thoroughly out of luck." + +He arrived in good time at the Carlton and waited for his guests in the +Palm Court. Craven was the first to arrive. He looked cheerful and eager +as he came in, and, Braybrooke thought, very young and handsome. He had +got away from the F. O. that afternoon, he said, and had been down at +Beaconsfield playing golf. Apparently his game had been unusually good +and that fact had put him into spirits. + +"There's nothing like being in form with one's drive for bucking one +up!" he acknowledged. + +And he broke out into an almost boyish paean in praise of golf. + +"But I always thought you preferred lawn tennis!" said Braybrooke. + +"Oh, I don't know! Yes, I'm as keen as ever on tennis, but anyone can +play golf. Mrs. Sandhurst was out to-day playing a splendid game, and +she's well over sixty. That's the best of golf. People can play, and +play decently, too, up to almost any age." + +"Well, but my dear boy you're not in the sixties yet!" + +"No. But I wasn't thinking about myself." + +Braybrooke looked at him rather narrowly, and wondered of whom he had +been thinking. But he said nothing more, for at this moment Miss Van +Tuyn appeared in the doorway at the end of the court. Braybrooke went to +meet her, but Craven stayed were he was. + +"Is Adela Sellingworth coming?" she asked instantly, as Braybrooke took +her hand. + +"She promised to come. I'm expecting her." + +He made a movement, but she stood still, though they where close to the +doorway. + +"And what are we going to see?" + +"A play called _The Great Lover_. Here is Alick Craven." + +At this moment Craven joined them. Seeing Miss Van Tuyn standing still +with a certain obstinacy he came up and took her hand. + +"Nice to meet you again," he said. + +Braybrooke thought of Miss Van Tuyn's remark about the Foreign Office +manner, and hoped Craven was going to be at his best that evening. It +seemed to him that there was a certain dryness in the young people's +greeting. Miss Van Tuyn was looking lovely, and almost alarmingly +youthful and self-possessed, in a white dress. Craven, fresh from his +successes at golf, looked full of the open-air spirit and the robustness +of the galloping twenties. In appearance the two were splendidly +matched. The faint defiance which Braybrooke thought he detected +in their eyes suited them both, giving to them just a touch of the +arrogance which youth and health render charming, but which in old +people is repellent and ugly. They wore it like a feather set at just +the right rakish angle in a cap. Nevertheless, this slight dryness must +be got rid of if the evening were to be a success, and Braybrooke +set himself to the task of banishing it. He talked of golf. Like many +American girls, Miss Van Tuyn was at home in most sports and games. +She was a good whip, a fine skater and lawn tennis player, had shot and +hunted in France, liked racing, and had learnt to play golf on the +links at Cannes when she was a girl of fifteen. But to-night she was not +enthusiastic about golf, perhaps because Craven was. She said it was an +irritating game, that playing it much always gave people a worried look, +that a man who had sliced his first drive was a bore for the rest of the +day, that a woman whom you beat in a match tried to do you harm as long +as you and she lived. Finally she said it was certainly a fine game, but +a game for old people. Craven protested, but she held resolutely to +her point. In other games--except croquet, which she frankly loathed in +spite of its scientific possibilities--you moved quickly, were obliged +to be perpetually on the alert. In tennis and lawn tennis, in racquets, +in hockey, in cricket, you never knew what was going to happen, when +you might have to do something, or make a swift movement, a dash here +or there, a dive, a leap, a run. But in golf half your time was spent in +solemnly walking--toddling, she chose to call it--from point to +point. This was, no doubt, excellent for the health, but she preferred +swiftness. But then she was only a light-footed girl, not an elderly +statesman. + +"When I play golf much I always begin to feel like a gouty Prime +Minister who has been ordered to play for the good of the country," she +said. "But when I'm an old woman I shall certainly play regularly +for the sake of my figure and my complexion. When I am sixty you will +probably see me every day on the links." + +Braybrooke saw a cloud float over Craven's face as she said this, but it +vanished as he looked away towards the hall. There, through the glass of +the dividing screen, Lady Sellingworth's tall and thin figure, wrapped +in a long cloak of dark fur, was visible, going with her careless, +trampish walk to the ladies' cloak-room. + +"Ah, there is Adela Sellingworth!" said Braybrooke. + +Miss Van Tuyn turned quickly, with a charming, youthful grace, made up +of a suppleness and litheness which suggested almost the movement of +a fluid. Craven noted it with a little thrill of unexpected pleasure, +against which an instant later something in him rebelled. + +"Where is she?" said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"She's just gone into the ladies' cloak-room," answered Braybrooke. + +"But not to powder her face!" said Miss Van Tuyn. "She keeps us waiting, +like the great prima donna in a concert, just long enough to give a +touch of excitement to her appearance. Dear Lady Sellingworth! She has +a wonderful knowledge of just how to do things. That only comes out of a +vast experience." + +"Or--don't you think that kind of thing may be instinctive?" said +Craven. + +She sought his eyes with a sort of soft hardihood which was very +alluring. + +"Women are not half as instinctive as men think them," she said. "I'll +tell you a little secret. They calculate more than a senior wrangler +does." + +"Now you are maligning yourself," he said, smiling. + +"No. For I haven't quite got to the age of calculation yet." + +"Oh--I see." + +"Here she comes!" said Braybrooke. + +And he went towards the door, leaving "our young friends" for a moment. + +"But what has she done to herself?" said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"Done! Lady Sellingworth?" + +"Yes. Or is it only her hair?" + +Craven wondered, too, as Lady Sellingworth joined them, accompanied by +her host. For there was surely some slight, and yet definite, change in +her appearance. She looked, he thought, younger, brighter, more vivid +than she generally looked. Her white hair certainly was arranged +differently from the way he was now accustomed to. It seemed thicker; +there seemed to be more of it than usual. It looked more alive, too, and +it marked in, he thought, an exquisite way the beautiful shape of her +head. A black riband was cleverly entangled in it, and a big diamond +shone upon the riband in front above her white forehead, weary with +the years, but uncommonly expressive. She wore black as usual, and had +another broad black riband round her throat with a fine diamond broach +fastened to it. Her gown was slightly open at the front. There were +magnificent diamond earrings in her ears. They made Craven think of +the jewels stolen long ago at the station in Paris. This evening the +whiteness of her hair seemed wonderful, as the whiteness of thickly +powdered hair sometimes seems. And her eyes beneath it were amazingly +vivid, startlingly alive in their glancing brightness. They looked +careless and laughingly self-possessed as she came up to greet the girl +and young man, matching delightfully her careless and self-possessed +movement. + +At that moment Craven realized, as he had certainly never realized +before, what a beauty--in his mind he said what a "stunning +beauty"--Lady Sellingworth must once have been. Even her face seemed to +him in some way altered to-night, though he could not have told how. + +Certainly she looked younger than usual. He was positive of that: still +positive when he saw her standing by Miss Van Tuyn and taking her hand. +Then she turned to him and gave him a friendly and careless, almost +haphazard, greeting, still smiling and looking ready for anything. +And then at once they went into the restaurant up the broad steps. +And Craven noticed that everyone they passed by glanced at Lady +Sellingworth. + +At that moment he felt very proud of her friendship. He even felt a +touch of romance in it, of a strange and unusual romance far removed +from the sort of thing usually sung of by poets and written of by +novelists. + +"She is unusual!" he thought. "And so am I; and our friendship is +unusual too. There has never before been anything quite like it." + +And he glowed with a warming sense of difference from ordinary life. + +But Miss Van Tuyn was claiming his urgent attention, and a waiter was +giving him Whitstable oysters, and Chablis was being poured into his +glass, and the band was beginning to play a selection from the music of +Grieg, full of the poetry and the love of the North, where deep passions +come out of the snows and last often longer than the loves of the South. +He must give himself up to it all, and to the wonderful white-haired +woman, too, with the great diamonds gleaming in her ears. + +It really was quite a buoyant dinner, and Braybrooke began to feel more +at ease. He had told them all where they were going afterwards, but had +said nothing about Walter's description of the play. None of them had +seen it, but Craven seemed to know all about it, and said it was an +entertaining study of life behind the scenes at the opera, with a great +singer as protagonist. + +"He was drawn, I believe, from a famous baritone." + +During a great part of her life Lady Sellingworth had been an ardent +lover of the opera, and she had known many of the leading singers in +Paris and London. + +"They always seemed to me to be torn by jealousy," she said, "and often +to suffer from the mania of persecution! Really, they are like a race +apart." + +And the conversation turned to jealousy. Braybrooke said he had never +suffered from it, did not know what it was. And they smiled at him, and +told him that then he could have no temperament. Craven declared that +he believed almost the whole human race knew the ugly intimacies of +jealousy in some form or other. + +"And yourself?" said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"I!" he said, and looking up saw Lady Sellingworth's brilliant eyes +fixed on him. + +"Do you know them?" + +"I have felt jealousy certainly, but never yet as I could feel it." + +"What! You are conscious of a great capacity for feeling jealous, a +capacity which has never yet had its full fling?" said the girl. + +"Yes," he said. + +And his lips were smiling, but there was a serious look in his eyes. + +And they discussed the causes of jealousy. + +"We shall see it to-night on the stage in its professional form," said +Craven. + +"And that is the least forgivable form," said Lady Sellingworth. +"Jealousy which is not bound up with the affections is a cold and +hideous thing. But I cannot understand a love which is incapable of +jealousy. In fact, I don't think I could believe it to be love at all." + +This remark, coming from those lips, surprised Braybrooke. For Lady +Sellingworth was not wont to turn any talk in which she took part +upon questions concerned with the heart. He had frequently noticed her +apparent aversion from all topics connected with deep feeling. To-night, +it seemed, this aversion had died out of her. + +In answer to the last remark Miss Van Tuyn said: + +"Then, dear, you rule out perfect trust in a matter of love, do you? All +the sentimentalists say that perfect love breeds perfect trust. If that +is so, how can great lovers be jealous? For jealousy, I suppose--I have +never felt it myself in that way--is born out of doubt, but can never +exist side by side with complete confidence." + +"Ah! But Beryl, in how many people in the course of a lifetime can one +have _complete confidence_ I have scarcely met one. What do you say?" + +She turned her head towards Braybrooke. He looked suddenly rather +plaintive, like a man who realizes unexpectedly how lonely he is. + +"Oh, I hope I know a few such people," he rejoined rather anxiously. +"I have been very lucky in my friends. And I like to think the best of +people." + +"That is kind," said Lady Sellingworth. "But I prefer to know the truth +of people. And I must say I think most of us are quicksands. The worst +of it is that so often when we do for a moment feel we are on firm +ground we find it either too hard for our feet or too flat for our +liking." + +At that moment she thought of Sir Seymour Portman. + +"You think it is doubt which breeds fascination?" said Craven. + +"Alas for us if it is so," she answered, smiling. + +"The human race is a very unsatisfactory race," said Miss Van Tuyn. "I +am only twenty-four and have found that out already. It is very clever +of the French to cultivate irony as they do. The ironist always wears +clothes and an undershirt of mail. But the sentimentalist goes naked in +the east wind which blows through society. Not only is he bound to take +cold, but he is liable to be pierced by every arrow that flies." + +"Yes, it is wise to cultivate irony," said Lady Sellingworth. + +"You have," said Miss Van Tuyn. "One often sees it in your eyes. Isn't +it true?" + +She turned to Craven; but he did not choose to agree with her. + +"I'm a sentimentalist," he said firmly. "And I never look about for +irony. Perhaps that's why I have not found it in Lady Sellingworth." + +Miss Van Tuyn sent him a glance which said plainly, but prettily, "You +humbug!" But he did not mind. Once he had discussed Lady Sellingworth +with Miss Van Tuyn. They had wondered about her together. They had even +talked about her mystery. But that seemed to Craven a long time ago. Now +he would far rather discuss Miss Van Tuyn with Lady Sellingworth than +discuss Lady Sellingworth with Miss Van Tuyn. So he would not even +acknowledge that he had noticed the mocking look in Lady Sellingworth's +eyes. Already he had the feeling of a friend who does not care to +dissect the mentality and character of his friend with another. +Something in him even had an instinct to protect Lady Sellingworth from +Miss Van Tuyn. That was surely absurd; unless, indeed, age always needs +protection from the cruelty of youth. + +Francis Braybrooke began to speak about Paris, and again Miss Van Tuyn +said that she would never rest till she had persuaded Lady Sellingworth +to renew her acquaintance with that intense and apparently light-hearted +city, which contains so many secret terrors. + +"You will come some day," she said, with a sort of almost ruthless +obstinacy. + +"Why not?" said Lady Sellingworth. "I have been very happy in Paris." + +"And yet you have deserted it for years and years! You are an enigma. +Isn't she, Mr. Braybrooke?" + +Before Braybrooke had time to reply to this direct question an +interruption occurred. Two ladies, coming in to dinner accompanied +by two young men, paused by Braybrooke's table, and someone said in a +clear, hard voice: + +"What a dinky little party! And where are you all going afterwards?" + +Craven and Braybrooke got up to greet two famous members of the "old +guard," Lady Wrackley and Mrs. Ackroyde. Lady Sellingworth and Miss +Van Tuyn turned in their chairs, and for a moment there was a little +disjointed conversation, in the course of which it came out that this +quartet, too, was bound for the Shaftesbury Theatre. + +"You are coming out of your shell, Adela! Better late than never!" +said Lady Wrackley to Lady Sellingworth, while Miss Van Tuyn quietly +collected the two young men, both of whom she knew, with her violet +eyes. "I hear of you all over the place." + +She glanced penetratingly at Craven with her carefully made-up eyes, +which were the eyes of a handsome and wary bird. Her perfectly +arranged hair was glossy brown, with glints in it like the colour of a +horse-chestnut. She showed her wonderful teeth in the smile which came +like a sudden gleam of electric light, and went as if a hand had turned +back the switch. + +"I'm becoming dissipated," said Lady Sellingworth. "Three evenings out +in one month! If I have one foot in the grave, I shall have the other in +the Shaftesbury Theatre to-night." + +One of the young men, a fair, horsey-looking boy, with a yellow +moustache, a turned-up nose, and an almost abnormally impudent and larky +expression, laughed in a very male and soldierly way; the other, who was +dark, with a tall figure and severe grey eyes, looked impenetrably grave +and absent minded. + +"Well, I shall die if I don't have a good dinner at once," said Mrs. +Ackroyde. "Is that a Doucet frock, Beryl?" + +"No. Count Kalinsky designed it." + +"Oh--Igor Kalinsky! Adela, we are in Box B. We must have a powwow +between the acts." + +She looked from Lady Sellingworth to Craven and back again. Short, very +handsome, always in perfect health, with brows and eyes which somehow +suggested a wild creature, she had an honest and quite unaffected face. +Her manner was bold and direct. There was something lasting--some said +everlasting--in her atmosphere. + +"I cannot conceive of London without Dindie Ackroyde," said Braybrooke, +as Mrs. Ackroyde led the way to the next table and sat down opposite to +Craven. + +And they began to talk about people. Craven said very little. Since +the arrival of the other quartet he had begun to feel sensitively +uncomfortable. He realized that already his new friendship for Lady +Sellingworth had "got about," though how he could not imagine. He was +certain that the "old guard" were already beginning to talk of Addie +Sellingworth's "new man." He had seen awareness, that strange feminine +interest which is more than half hostile, in the eyes of both Lady +Wrackley and Mrs. Ackroyde. Was it impossible, then, in this horrible +whispering gallery of London, to have any privacy of the soul? (He +thought that his friendship really had something of the soul in it.) He +felt stripped by the eyes of those two women at the neighbouring table, +and he glanced at Lady Sellingworth almost furtively, wondering what +she was feeling. But she looked exactly as usual, and was talking with +animation, and he realized that her long habit of the world enabled her +to wear a mask at will. Or was she less sensitive in such matters than +he was? + +"How preoccupied you are!" said Miss Van Tuyn's voice in his ear. "You +see I was right. Golf ruins the social qualities in a man." + +Then Craven resolutely set himself to be sociable. He even acted a part, +still acutely conscious of the eyes of the "old guard," and almost made +love to Miss Van Tuyn, as a man may make love at a dinner table. He was +sure Lady Sellingworth would not misunderstand him. Whether Miss Van +Tuyn misunderstood him or not did not matter to him at that moment. He +saw her beauty clearly; he was able to note all the fluid fascination of +her delicious youthfulness; the charm of it went to him; and yet he felt +no inclination to waver in his allegiance to Lady Sellingworth. It was +as if a personality enveloped him, held his senses as well as his mind +in a soft and powerful grasp. Not that his senses were irritated to +alertness, or played upon to exasperation. They were merely inhibited +from any activity in connexion with another, however beautiful and +desirable. Lady Sellingworth roused no physical desire in Craven, +although she fascinated him. What she did was just this: she deprived +him of physical desire. Miss Van Tuyn's arrows were shot all in vain +that night. But Craven now acted well, for women's keen eyes were upon +him. + +Presently they got up to go to the theatre, leaving the other quartet +behind them, quite willing to be late. + +"Moscovitch doesn't come on for some time," said Mrs. Ackroyde. "And we +are only going to see him. The play is nothing extraordinary. Where are +you sitting?" + +Braybrooke told her the number of their box. + +"We are just opposite to you then," she said. + +"Mind you behave prettily, Adela!" said Lady Wrackley. + +"I have almost forgotten how to behave in a theatre," she said. "I go +to the play so seldom. You shall give me some hints on conduct, Mr. +Craven." + +And she turned and led the way out of the restaurant, nodding to people +here and there whom she knew. + +Her big motor was waiting outside, and they all got into it. Braybrooke +and Craven sat on the small front seats, sideways, so that they could +talk to their companions; and they flashed through the busy streets, +coming now and then into the gleam of lamplight and looking vivid, then +gliding on into shadows and becoming vague and almost mysterious. As +they crossed Piccadilly Circus Miss Van Tuyn said: + +"What a contrast to our walk that night!" + +"This way of travelling?" said Lady Sellingworth. + +"Yes. Which do you prefer, the life of Soho and the streets and raw +humanity, or the Rolls-Royce life?" + +"Oh, I am far too old, and far too fixed in my habits to make any +drastic change in my way of life," said Lady Sellingworth, looking out +of the window. + +"You didn't like your little experience the other night enough to repeat +it?" said Miss Van Tuyn. + +As she spoke Craven saw her eyes gazing at him in the shadow. They +looked rather hard and searching, he thought. + +"Oh, some day I'll go to the _Bella Napoli_ again with you, Beryl, if +you like." + +"Thank you, dearest," said Miss Van Tuyn, rather drily. + +And again Craven saw her eyes fixed upon him with a hard, steady look. + +The car sped by the Monico, and Braybrooke, glancing with distaste at +the crowd of people one could never wish to know outside it, wondered +how the tall woman opposite to him with the diamonds flashing in her +ears had ever condescended to push her way among them at night, to rub +shoulders with those awful women, those furtive and evil-looking men. +"But she must have some kink in her!" he thought, and thanked God +because he had no kink, or at any rate knew of none which disturbed him. +The car drew up at the theatre, and they went to their box. It was large +enough for three to sit in a row in the front, and Craven insisted on +Braybrooke taking the place between the two women, while he took the +chair in the shadow behind Lady Sellingworth. + +The curtain was already up when they came in, and a large and voluble +man, almost like a human earthquake, was talking in broken English +interspersed with sonorous Italian to a worried-looking man who sat +before a table in a large and gaudily furnished office. + +The talk was all about singers, contracts, the opera. + +Craven glanced across the theatre and saw a big, empty box on the +opposite side of the house. The rest of the house was full. He saw many +Jews. + +Lady Sellingworth leaned well forward with her eyes fixed on the stage, +and seemed interested as the play developed. + +"They are just like that!" she whispered presently, half turning to +Craven. + +Miss Van Tuyn looked round. She seemed bored. Paris, perhaps, had +spoiled her for the acting in London, or the play so far did not +interest her. Braybrooke glanced at her rather anxiously. He did not +approve of the way in which he and his guests were seated in the box, +and was sure she did not like it. Craven ought to be beside her. + +"What do you think of it?" he murmured. + +"The operatic types aren't bad." + +She leaned with an elbow on the edge of the box and looked vaguely about +the house. + +"I shall insist on a change of seats after the interval!" thought +Braybrooke. + +A few minutes passed. Then the door of the box opposite was opened and +Lady Wrackley appeared, followed by Dindie Ackroyde and the two +young men who had dined with them. Lady Wrackley, looking--Craven +thought--like a remarkably fine pouter pigeon, came to the front of the +box and stared about the house, while the young man with the turned-up +nose gently, yet rather familiarly, withdrew from her a long coat of +ermine. Meanwhile Mrs. Ackroyde sat down, keeping on her cloak, which +was the colour of an Indian sky at night, and immediately became +absorbed in the traffic of the stage. It was obvious that she really +cared for art, while Lady Wrackley cared about the effect she was +creating on the audience. It seemed a long time before she sat down, and +let the two young men sit down too. But suddenly there was applause and +no one was looking at her. Moscovitch had walked upon the stage. + +"_That_ man can act!" + +Miss Van Tuyn had spoken. + +"He gets you merely by coming on. That is acting!" + +And immediately she was intent on the stage. + +When the curtain fell Braybrooke got up resolutely and stood at the back +of the box. Craven, too stood up, and they all discussed the play. + +"It's a character study, simply that," said Miss Van Tuyn. "The +persistent lover who can't leave off--" + +"Trying to love!" interposed Lady Sellingworth. "Following the great +illusion." + +And they debated whether the great singer was an idealist or merely +a sensualist, or perhaps both. Miss Van Tuyn thought he was only the +latter, and Braybrooke agreed with her. But Lady Sellingworth said no. + +"He is in love with love, I think, and everyone who is in love with love +is seeking the flame in the darkness. We wrong many people by dubbing +them mere sensualists. The mystery has a driving force which many cannot +resist." + +"What mystery, dearest?" said Miss Van Tuyn, not without irony. + +But at this moment there was a tap at the door of the box, and Craven +opened it to find Mrs. Ackroyde and the young man with the severe eyes +waiting outside. + +"May we come in? Is there room?" said Mrs. Ackroyde. + +There was plenty of room. + +"Lena will be happier without us," Mrs. Ackroyde explained, without a +smile, and looking calmly at Lady Sellingworth. "If I sit quite at the +back here I can smoke a cigarette without being stopped. Bobbie you +might give me a match." + +The severe young man, who looked like a sad sensualist, one of those men +who try to cloak intensity with grimness, did as he was bid, and they +renewed the discussion which had been stopped for a moment, bringing the +newcomers into it. Lady Sellingworth explained that the mystery she had +spoken of was the inner necessity to try to find love which drives many +human beings. She spoke without sentimentality, almost with a sort +of scientific coldness as one stating facts not to be gainsaid. Mrs. +Ackroyde said she liked the theory. It was such a comfortable one. +Whenever she made a sidestep she would now be able to feel that she +was driven to it by an inner necessity, planted in her family by the +Immanent Will, or whatever it was that governed humanity. As she spoke +she looked at the man she had called Bobbie, who was Sir Robert Syng, +private secretary to a prominent minister, and when she stopped speaking +he said he had never been able to believe in free will, though he always +behaved as if he thought he possessed it. + +Miss Van Tuyn thereupon remarked that as some people are born with +tempers and intellects and some without them, perhaps it was the same +with free will. She was quite positive she had a free will, but the +very first time she had seen Sir Robert she had had her doubts about his +having that precious possession. This sally, designed to break up the +general conversation and to fasten Sir Robert's attention on herself, +led to an animated discussion between her and Mrs. Ackroyde's "man." But +Mrs. Ackroyde, though her large dark eyes showed complete understanding +of the manoeuvre, did not seem to mind, and, turning her attention to +Craven, she began to speak about acting. Meanwhile Lady Sellingworth +went out into the corridor with Braybrooke to "get a little air." + +While Mrs. Ackroyde talked Craven felt that she was thinking about him +with an enormously experienced mind. She had been married twice, and was +now a widow. No woman knew more about life and the world in a general +way than she did. Her complete but quiet self-possession, her rather +blunt good nature, and her perfect health, had carried her safely, and +as a rule successfully, through multifarious experiences and perhaps +through many dangers. It was impossible to conceive of her being ever +"knocked out" by any happening however untoward it might be. She was one +of the stalwarts of the "old guard." Craven certainly did not dislike +her. But now he felt almost afraid of her. For he knew her present +interest in him arose from suspicions about him and Lady Sellingworth +which were floating through her brain. She had heard something; had been +informed of something; someone had hinted; someone had told. How do such +things become suspected in a city like London? Craven could not imagine +how the "old guard" had come already to know of his new friendship with +Lady Sellingworth. But he was now quite sure that he had been talked +about, and that Mrs. Ackroyde was considering him, his temperament, his +character, his possibilities in connexion with the famous Adela, once of +the "old guard," but long since traitress to it. + +And he felt as if he were made of glass beneath those experienced and +calmly investigating eyes, as he talked steadily about acting till +the bell went for the second act, and Lady Sellingworth and Braybrooke +returned to the box. + +"Come and see me," said Mrs. Ackroyde, getting up. "You never come near +me. And come down to Coombe to lunch one Sunday." + +"Thank you very much. I will." + +"And bring Adela with you!" + +With a casual nod or two, and a "Come, Bobbie, I am sure you have +flirted quite enough with Beryl by this time!" she went out of the box, +followed by her grim but good-looking cavalier. + +"You must sit in front through this act." + +Braybrooke spoke. + +"Oh, but--" + +"No, really--I insist! You don't see properly behind." + +Craven took the chair between the two women. As he did so he glanced +at Miss Van Tuyn. His chair was certainly nearer to hers than to Lady +Sellingworth's, much nearer. Syng had sat in it and must have moved +it. As she half turned and said something to Craven her bare silky arm +touched his sleeve, and their faces were very near together. Her eyes +spoke to him definitely, called him to be young again with her. And as +the curtain went up she whispered: + +"It was I who insisted on a party of four to-night." + +Lady Sellingworth and Braybrooke were talking together, and Craven +answered: + +"To Mr. Braybrooke?" + +"Yes; so that we might have a nice little time. And Adela and he are old +friends and contemporaries! I knew they would be happy together." + +Craven shrank inwardly as he heard Miss Van Tuyn say "Adela," but he +only nodded and tried to return adequately the expression in her eyes. +Then he looked across the theatre, and saw Mrs. Ackroyde speaking to +Lady Wrackley. After a moment they both gazed at him, and, seeing his +eyes fixed on her, Lady Wrackley let go her smile at him and made a +little gesture with her hand. + +"She knows too--damn her!" thought Craven, impolitely. + +He set his teeth. + +"They know everything, these women! It's useless to try to have the +smallest secret from them!" + +And then he said to himself what so many have said: + +"What does it matter what they know, what they think, what they say? I +don't care!" + +But he did care. He hated their knowing of his friendship with Lady +Sellingworth, and it seemed to him that they were scattering dust all +over the dew of his feeling. + +The second act of the play was more interesting than the first, but, as +Miss Van Tuyn said, the whole thing was rather a clever character study +than a solidly constructed and elaborately worked out play. It was +the fascination of Moscovitch which held the audience tight and which +brought thunders of applause when the curtain fell. + +"If that man acted in French he could have enormous success in Paris," +said Miss Van Tuyn. "You have chosen well," she added, turning to +Braybrooke. "You have introduced us to a great temperament." + +Braybrooke was delighted, and still more delighted when Lady +Sellingworth and Craven both said that it was the best acting they had +seen in London for years. + +"But it comes out of Russia, I suppose," said Lady Sellingworth. "Poor, +wonderful, horrible, glorious Russia!" + +"Forgive me for a moment," said Braybrooke. "Lady Wrackley seems to want +me." + +Indeed, the electric-light smile was being turned on and off in the +box opposite with unmistakable intention, and, glancing across, Craven +noticed that the young men had disappeared, no doubt to smoke cigarettes +in the foyer. Lady Wrackley and Mrs. Ackroyde were alone, and, seeing +them alone, it was easier to Craven to compare their appearance with +Lady Sellingworth's. + +Lady Wrackley looked shiningly artificial, seemed to glisten with +artificiality, and her certainly remarkable figure suggested to him +an advertisement for a corset designed by a genius with a view to the +concealment of fat. Mrs. Ackroyde was far less artificial, and though +her hair was dyed it did not proclaim the fact blatantly. Certainly it +was difficult to believe that both those ladies, whom Braybrooke +now joined, were much the same age as Lady Sellingworth. And yet, +in Craven's opinion, to-night she made them both look ordinary, +undistinguished. There was something magnificent in her appearance which +they utterly lacked. + +Braybrooke sat down in their box, and Craven was sure they were +all talking about Lady Sellingworth and him. He saw Braybrooke's +broad-fingered hand go to his beard and was almost positive his old +friend was on the defensive. He was surely saying, "No, really, I don't +think so! I feel convinced there is nothing in it!" Craven's eyes met +Lady Sellingworth's, and it seemed to him at that moment that she and he +spoke together without the knowledge of Miss Van Tuyn. But immediately, +and as if to get away from their strange and occult privacy, she said: + +"What have you been doing lately, Beryl? I hear Miss Cronin has come +over. But I thought you were not staying long. Have you changed your +mind?" + +Miss Van Tuyn said she might stay on for some time, and explained that +she was having lessons in painting. + +"In London! I didn't know you painted, and surely the best school of +painting is in Paris." + +"I don't paint, dearest. But one can take lessons in an art without +actually practising the art. And that is what I am doing. I like to know +even though I cannot, or don't want to, do. Dick Garstin is my master. +He has given me the run of his studio in Glebe Place." + +"And you watch him at work?" said Craven. + +"Yes." + +She fixed her eyes on him, and added: + +"He is painting a living bronze." + +"Somebody very handsome?" said Lady Sellingworth, glancing across the +house to the trio in the box opposite. + +"Yes, a man called Nicolas Arabian." + +"What a curious name!" said Lady Sellingworth, still looking towards the +opposite box. "Is it an Englishman?" + +"No. I don't know his nationality. But he makes a magnificent model." + +"Oh, he's a model!" said Craven, also looking at the box opposite. + +"He isn't a professional model. Dick Garstin doesn't pay him to sit. I +only mean that he is a marvellous subject for a portrait and sits well. +Dick happened to see him and asked him to sit. Dick paints the people +he wants to paint, not those who want to be painted by him. But he's a +really big man. You ought to know him." + +She said the last words to Lady Sellingworth, who replied: + +"I very seldom make new acquaintances now." + +"You made Mr. Craven's!" said Miss Van Tuyn, smiling. + +"But that was by special favour. I owe Mr. Braybrooke that!" said +Craven. "And I shall be eternally grateful to him." + +His eyes met Lady Sellingworth's, and he immediately added, turning to +Miss Van Tuyn: + +"I have to thank him for two delightful new friends--if I may use that +word." + +"Mr. Braybrooke is a great benefactor," said Miss Van Tuyn. "I wonder +how this play is going to end." + +And then they talked about Moscovitch and the persistence of a +ruling passion till Braybrooke came back. He looked rather grave and +preoccupied, and Craven felt sure that the talk in the opposite box had +been about Lady Sellingworth and her "new man," himself, and, unusually +self-conscious, or moved, perhaps, by an instinct of self-preservation, +he devoted himself almost with intensity to Miss Van Tuyn till the +curtain went up. And after it went up he kept his chair very close +to hers, sat almost "in her pocket," and occasionally murmured to her +remarks about the play. + +The last act was a panorama of shifting moods, and although there +was little action they all followed it with an intense interest +which afterwards surprised them. But a master hand was playing on the +audience, and drew at will from them what emotions he chose. Now and +then, during the progress of this act, Braybrooke sent an anxious glance +to Lady Sellingworth. All this about loss, though it was the loss of +a voice, about the end of a great career, about age and desertion, was +dangerous ground. The love-scene between Moscovitch and the young girl +seriously perturbed Braybrooke. He hoped, he sincerely hoped, that Adela +Sellingworth would not be upset, would not think that he had chosen the +Shaftesbury Theatre for their place of entertainment with any _arriere +pensee_. He fancied that her face began to look rather hard and "set" as +the act drew near its end. But he was not sure. For the auditorium was +rather dark; he could not see her quite clearly. And he looked at Craven +and Miss Van Tuyn and thought, rather bitterly, how sane and how right +his intentions had been. Youth should mate with youth. It was not +natural for mature, or old, age to be closely allied with youth in any +passionate bond. In such a bond youth was at a manifest disadvantage. +And it seemed to Braybrooke that age was sometimes, too often indeed, a +vampire going about to satisfy its appetite on youth, to slake its sad +thirst at the well-spring of youth. He looked, too, at the women in the +box opposite, and at the young men with them, and he regretted that +so many human beings were at grips with the natural. He at any rate, +although he carefully concealed his age, never did unsuitable things, or +fell into anything undignified. Yet was he rewarded for his intense and +unremitting carefulness in life? + +A telephone bell sounded on the stage, and the unhappy singer, bereft of +romance, his career finished, decadence and old age staring him in +the face, went to answer the call. But suddenly his face changed; a +brightness, an alertness came into it and even, mysteriously, into all +his body. There was a woman at the other end of the wire, and she was +young and pretty, and she was asking him to meet her. As he was replying +gaily, with smiling lips, and a greedy look in his eyes that was half +child-like, half satyr-like, the curtain fell. The play was at an end, +leaving the impression upon the audience that there is no end to the +life of a ruling passion in a man while he lives, that the ruling +passion can only die when he dies. + +Miss Van Tuyn and Craven, standing up in the box, applauded vigorously. + +"That's a true finish!" the girl said. "He's really a modern Baron +Hulot. When he's seventy he'll creep upstairs to a servant girl. We +don't change, I've always said it. We don't change!" + +And she looked from Craven to Lady Sellingworth. + +Moscovitch bowed many times. + +"Well, Mr. Braybrooke," said Miss Van Tuyn, "I've seen some acting in +London to-night that I should like to show to Paris. Thank you!" + +She was more beautiful and more human than Craven had ever seen her +before in her genuine enthusiasm. And he thought, "Great art moves her +as nothing else moves her." + +"What do you say about it, dearest?" she said, as Craven helped her to +put on her cloak. + +(Braybrooke was attending to Lady Sellingworth.) + +"It's a great piece of acting!" + +"And horribly true! Don't you think so?" + +"I dare say it is," Lady Sellingworth answered. + +She turned quickly and led the way out of the box. + +In the hall they encountered the other quartet and stood talking to them +for a moment, and Craven noticed how Miss Van Tuyn had been stirred up +by the play and how silent Lady Sellingworth was. He longed to go back +to Berkeley Square alone with the latter, and to have a long talk; but +something told him to get away from both the white-haired woman and the +eager girl. And when the motor came up he said very definitely that he +had an engagement and must find a cab. Then he bade them good-bye and +left them in the motor with Braybrooke. As he was turning away to get +out of the crowd a clear, firm voice said to him: + +"I am so glad you have performed the miracle, Mr. Craven." + +He looked round and saw Mrs. Ackroyde's investigating eyes fixed upon +him. + +"But what miracle?" he asked. + +"You have pulled Adela Sellingworth out of the shell in which she has +been living curled up for over ten years." + +"Yes. You are a prodigy!" said Lady Wrackley, showing her teeth. + +"But I'm afraid I can't claim that triumph. I'm afraid it's due to Mr. +Braybrooke's diplomacy." + +"Oh, no!" Mrs. Ackroyde said calmly. "Adela would never yield to his +cotton-glove persuasions. Besides, his diplomacy would shy away from +Soho." + +"Soho!" said Craven, startled. + +"Yes!" + +"Oh, but Miss Van Tuyn performed that miracle!" said Craven, recovering +himself. + +"I don't think so. You are too modest. But now, mind, I expect you to +come down to Coombe to lunch on the first fine Sunday, and to bring +Adela with you. Good night! Bobbie, where are you?" + +And she followed Lady Wrackley and the young man with the turned-up nose +to a big and shining motor which had just glided noiselessly up. + +"Damn the women!" muttered Craven, as he pushed through the crowd into +the ugly freedom of Shaftesbury Avenue. + + + +CHAPTER III + +Miss Van Tuyn and the members of the "old guard" went home to bed that +night realizing that Lady Sellingworth had had "things" done to herself +before she came out to the theatre party. + +"She's beginning again after--how many years is it?" said Lady Wrackley +to Mrs. Ackroyde in the motor as they drove away from Shaftesbury. + +"Ten," said Mrs. Ackroyde, who was blessed with a sometimes painfully +retentive memory. + +"I suppose it's Zotos," observed Lady Wrackley. + +"Who's Zotos?" inquired young Leving of the turned-up nose and the larky +expression. + +"A Greek who's a genius and who lives in South Moulton Street." + +"What's he do?" + +"Things that men shouldn't be allowed to know anything about. Talk to +Bobbie for a minute, will you?" + +She turned again to Mrs. Ackroyde. + +"It must be Zotos. But even he will be in a difficulty with her if she +wants to have very much done. She made the mistake of her life when she +became an old woman. I remember saying at the time that some day she +would repent in dust and ashes and want to get back, and that then it +would be too late. How foolish she was!" + +"She will be much more foolish now if she really begins again," said +Mrs. Ackroyde in her cool, common-sense way. + +The young men were talking, and after a moment she continued: + +"When a thing's once been thoroughly seen by everyone and recognized for +what it is, it is worse than useless to hide it or try to hide it. +Adela should know that. But I must say she looked remarkably well +to-night--for her. He's a good-looking boy." + +"He must be at least twenty-eight years younger than she is." + +"More, probably. But she prefers them like that. Don't you remember +Rochecouart? He was a mere child. When we gave our hop at Prince's she +was mad about him. And afterwards she wanted to marry Rupert Louth. It +nearly killed her when she found out he had married that awful girl who +called herself an actress. And there was someone else after Rupert." + +"I know. I often wonder who it was. Someone _we_ don't know." + +"Someone quite out of our world. Anyhow, he must have broken her heart +for the time. And it's taken ten years to mend. Do you think that she +sold her jewels secretly to pay that man's debts, or gave them to him, +and that then he threw her over? I have often wondered." + +"So have we all. But we shall never know. Adela is very clever." + +"And now it's another boy! And only twenty-eight or so. He can't be more +than twenty-seven or twenty-eight. Poor old Adela!" + +"Perhaps he likes white hair. There are boys who do." + +"But not for long. Beryl was furious." + +"It is hardly a compliment to her. I expect her cult for Adela will +diminish rapidly." + +"Oh, she'll very soon get him away. Even Zotos won't be able to do very +much for Adela now. She burnt all her boats ten years ago. Her case is +really hopeless, and she'll very soon find that out." + +"Do you remember when she tried to live up to Rupert Louth as an +Amazon?" + +"Yes. She nearly killed herself over it; but I must say she stuck to it +splendidly. She has plenty of courage." + +"Is Alick Craven athletic? I scarcely know him." + +"Well, he's never been a rough rider like Rupert Louth; but I believe +he's a sportsman, does all the usual things." + +"Then I dare say we shall soon see Adela on the links and at Kings'." + +"Probably. I'll get them both down to Coombe and see if she'll play +tennis on my hard court. I shouldn't wonder. She has pluck enough for +anything." + +"Ask me that Sunday. I wonder how long it will last." + +"Not long. It can't." + +"And then she'll go crash again. It must be awful to have a temperament +like hers." + +"Her great mistake is that apparently she puts some heart into it every +time. I can't think how she manages it, but she does. Do you remember +twelve years ago, when she was crazy about Harry Blake? Well--" + +But at this moment the motor drew up at the Carlton, and a huge man in +uniform opened the door. + +Mrs. Ackroyde was right in her comment on Miss Van Tuyn. In spite of +Craven's acting that night Miss Van Tuyn had thoroughly understood +how things really were. She had persuaded Braybrooke to invite Lady +Sellingworth to make a fourth in order that she might find out whether +any link had been forged between Craven and Lady Sellingworth, whether +there was really any secret understanding between them, or whether that +tete-a-tete dinner in Soho had been merely a passing pleasure, managed +by Lady Sellingworth, meaning little, and likely to lead to nothing. +And she had found out that there certainly was a secret understanding +between Lady Sellingworth and Craven from which she was excluded. Craven +had preferred Adela Sellingworth to herself, and Adela Sellingworth was +fully aware of it. + +It was characteristic of Miss Van Tuyn that though her vanity was so +great and was now severely wounded she did not debate the matter within +herself, did not for a moment attempt to deceive herself about it. +And yet really she had very little ground to go upon. Craven had been +charming to her, had replied to her glances, had almost made love to her +at dinner, had sat very close to her during the last act of the play. +Yes; but it had all been acting on his part. Quite coolly she told +herself that. And Lady Sellingworth had certainly wished him to act, had +even prompted him to it. + +Miss Van Tuyn felt very angry with Lady Sellingworth. She was less angry +with Craven. Indeed, she was not sure that she was angry with him at +all. He was several years older than herself, but she began to think of +him as really very young, as much younger in mind and temperament than +she was. He was only a clever boy, susceptible to flattery, easily +influenced by a determined will, and probably absurdly chivalrous. She +knew the sort of chivalry which was a symptom really of babyhood in +the masculine mind. It was characteristic of sensitive natures, she +believed, and it often led to strange aberrations. Craven was only a +baby, although a baby of the world, and Adela Sellingworth with her +vast experience had, of course, seen that at a glance and was now busily +playing upon baby's young chivalry. Miss Van Tuyn could almost hear the +talk about being so lonely in the big house in Berkeley Square, about +the freedom of men and the difficulty of having any real freedom when +one is a solitary woman with no man to look after you, about the tragedy +of being considered old when your heart and your nature are really still +young, almost as young as ever they were. Adela Sellingworth would know +how to touch every string, would be an adept at calling out the music +she wanted. How easily experienced women played upon men! It was really +pathetic! And as Craven had thought of protecting Lady Sellingworth +against Miss Van Tuyn, so now Miss van Tuyn felt inclined to protect +Alick Craven against Lady Sellingworth. She did not want to see a nice +and interesting boy make a fool of himself. Yet Craven was on the verge +of doing that, if he had not already done it. Lady Wrackley and Mrs. +Ackroyde had seen how things were, had taken in the whole situation in +a moment. Miss Van Tuyn knew that, and in her knowledge there was +bitterness. These two women had seen Lady Sellingworth preferred before +her by a mere boy, had seen her beauty and youth go for nothing beside a +woman of sixty's fascination. + +There must be something quite extraordinary in Craven. He must be +utterly unlike other young men. She began to wonder about him intensely. + +On the following morning, as usual, she went to Glebe Place to take what +she had called her "lesson" from Dick Garstin. She arrived rather early, +a few minutes before eleven, and found Garstin alone, looking tired and +irritable. + +"You look as if you had been up all night," she said as he let her in. + +"So I have!" + +She did not ask him what he had been doing. He would probably refuse to +tell her. Instead she remarked: + +"Will you be able to paint?" + +"Probably not. But perhaps the fellow won't come." + +"Why not. He always--" She stopped; then said quickly, "So he was up all +night too?" + +"Yes." + +"I didn't know you knew him out of the studio." + +"Of course I know him wherever I meet him. What do you mean?" + +"I didn't know you did meet him." + +Garstin said nothing. She turned and went up the staircase to the big +studio. On an easel nearly in the middle of the room, and not very far +from the portrait of the judge, there was a sketch of Nicolas Arabian's +head, neck and shoulders. No collar or clothes were shown. Garstin had +told Arabian flatly that he wasn't going to paint a magnificent torso +like his concealed by infernal linen and serge, and Arabian had been +quite willing that his neck and shoulders should be painted in the nude. + +In the strong light of the studio Garstin's unusual appearance of +fatigue was more noticeable, and Miss Van Tuyn could not help saying: + +"What on earth have you been doing, Dick? You always seem made of iron. +But to-day you look like an ordinary man who has been dissipating." + +"I played poker all night," said Garstin. + +"With Arabian?" + +"And two other fellows--picked them up at the Cafe Royal." + +"Well, I hope you won." + +"No, I didn't. Both Arabian and I lost a lot. We played here." + +"Here!" + +"Yes. And I haven't had a wink since they left. I don't suppose he'll +turn up. And if he does I shan't be able to do anything at it." + +He went to stand in front of the sketch, which was in oils, and stared +at it with lack-lustre eyes. + +"What d'you think of it?" he said at last. + +Miss Van Tuyn was rather surprised by the question. Garstin was not in +the habit of asking other people's opinions about his work. + +"It's rather difficult to say," she said, with some hesitation. + +"That means you think it's rotten." + +"No. But it isn't finished and--I don't know." + +"Well, I hate it." + +He turned away, sat down on a divan, and let his big knuckly hands drop +down between his knees. + +"Fact is, I haven't got at the fellow's secret," he said meditatively. +"I got a first impression--" + +He paused. + +"I know!" said Miss Van Tuyn, deeply interested. "You told me what it +was." + +"The successful blackmailer. Yes. But now I don't know. I can't make him +out. He's the hardest nut to crack I ever came across." + +He moved his long lips from side to side three or four times, then +pursed them up, lifted his small eyes, which had been staring between +his feet at a Persian rug on the parquet in front of the divan, looked +at Miss Van Tuyn, who was standing before him, and said: + +"That's why I sat up all night playing poker with him." + +"Ah!" she said, beginning to understand + +She sat down beside him, turned towards him, and said eagerly: + +"You wanted to get really to know him?" + +"Yes; but I didn't. The fellow's an enigma. He's bad. And that's +practically all I know about him." + +He glanced with distaste at the sketch he had made. + +"And it isn't enough. It isn't enough by a damned long way." + +"Is he a good loser?" she asked. + +"The best I ever saw. Never turned a hair, and went away looking as +fresh as a well-watered gardenia, damn him!" + +"Who were the others?" + +"Two Americans I've seen now and then at the Cafe Royal. I believe they +live mostly in Paris." + +"Friends of his?" + +"I don't think so. He said they came and sat down at his table in the +cafe and started talking. I suggested the poker. They didn't. So it +wasn't a plant." + +"Perhaps he isn't bad," she said; "and perhaps that's why you can't +paint him." + +"What d'you mean?" + +"I mean because you have made up your mind that he is. I think you have +a fixed idea about that." + +"What?" + +"You have painted so many brutes, that you seek for the brute in +everyone who sits to you. If you were to paint me you'd--" + +"Now, now! There you are at it again! I'll paint you if I ever feel like +it--not a minute before." + +"I was only going to say that if you ever painted me you'd try to find +something horrible in me that you could drag to the surface." + +"Well, d'you mean that you have the _toupet_ to tell me there is nothing +horrible in you?" + +"Now we are getting away from Arabian," she said, with cool +self-possession. + +"Owing to your infernal egoism, my girl!" + +"Override it, then, with your equally infernal altruism, my boy!" + +Garstin smiled, and for a moment looked a little less fatigued, but in +a moment his almost morose preoccupation returned. He glanced again +towards the sketch. + +"I should like to slit it up with a palette knife!" he said. "The devil +of it is that I felt I could do a really great thing with that fellow. I +struck out a fine phrase that night. D'you remember?" + +"Yes. You called him a king in the underworld." + +Abruptly he got up and began to walk about the studio, stopping now +here, now there, before his portraits. He paused for quite a long time +before the portraits of Cora and the judge. Then he came back to the +sketch of Arabian. + +"You must help me!" he said at last. + +"I!" she exclaimed, with almost sharp surprise. "How can I help you?" + +He turned, and she saw the pin-points of light. + +"What do you think of the fellow?" he said. "After all, you asked me to +paint him. What do you think of him?" + +"I think he's magnificently handsome." + +"Blast his envelope!" Garstin almost roared out. "What do you think +of his nature? What do you think of his soul? I'm not a painter of +surfaces." + +Miss Van Tuyn sat for a moment looking steadily at him. She was +unusually natural and unself-conscious, like one thinking too strongly +to bother about herself. At last she said: + +"Arabian is a very difficult man to understand, and I don't understand +him." + +"Do you like him?" + +"I couldn't exactly say that." + +"Do you hate him?" + +"No." + +Garstin suddenly looked almost maliciously sly. + +"I can tell you something that you feel about him." + +"What?" + +"You are afraid of him." + +Miss Van Tuyn's silky fair skin reddened. + +"I'm not afraid of anyone," she retorted. "If I have one virtue, I think +it's courage." + +"You're certainly not a Miss Nancy as a rule. In fact, your cheek is +pretty well known in Paris. But you're afraid of Arabian." + +"Am I really?" said the girl, recovering from her surprise and facing +him hardily. "And how have you found that out?" + +"You took a fancy to the fellow the first time you saw him." + +"I did not take a fancy. I am not an under-housemaid." + +"There's not really a particle of difference between an under-housemaid +and a super-lady when it comes to a good-looking man." + +"Dick, you're a great painter, but you're also a great vulgarian!" + +"Well, my father was a national schoolmaster and my mother was a +butcher's daughter. I can't help my vernacular. You took a fancy to this +fellow in the Cafe Royal, and you begged me to paint him so that you +might get to know him. I obeyed you--" + +"The heavens will certainly fall before you become obedient." + +"--and asked him here. Then I asked you. You came. He came. I started +painting. How many sittings have I had?" + +"Three." + +"Then you've met him here four times?" + +"Yes." + +"And why have you always let him go away alone from the studio?" + +"Why should I go with him? I much prefer to stay on here and have a talk +with you. You are far more interesting than Arabian is. He says very +little. Probably he knows very little. I can learn from you." + +"That's all very well. I will say you're damned keen on acquiring +knowledge. But Arabian interests you in a way I certainly don't; in a +sex way." + +"That'll do, Dick!" + +"And directly a woman gets to that all the lumber of knowledge can go to +the devil for her! When Nature drives the coach brain interests occupy +the back seat. That is a rule with women to which I've never yet +found an exception. Every day you're longing to go away from here with +Arabian; every day he does his level best to get you to go. Yet you +don't go. Why's that? You're held back by fear. You're afraid of the +fellow, my girl, and it's not a bit of use your denying it. When I see a +thing I see it--it's there. I don't deal in hallucinations." + +All this time his small eyes were fixed upon her, and the fierce little +lights in them seemed to touch her like the points of two pins. + +"You talk about fear! Does it never occur to you that Arabian's a man +you picked up at the Cafe Royal, that we neither of us know anything +about him, that he may be--" + +"Anyhow, he's far more presentable than I am." + +"Of course he's presentable, as you call it. He's very well dressed and +very good-looking, but still--" + +At that moment she thought of Craven, and in her mind quickly compared +the two men. + +"But still you're afraid of him. Where is your frankness? Why don't you +acknowledge what I already know?" + +Miss Van Tuyn looked down and sat for a moment quite still without +speaking. Then she began to take off her gloves. Finally, she lifted +her hands to her head, took off her hat, and laid it on the divan beside +her. + +"It isn't that I am afraid of Arabian," she then said, at last looking +up. "But the fact is I am like you. I don't understand him. I can't +place him. I don't even know what his nationality is. He knows nobody I +do. I feel certain of that. Yet he must belong somewhere, have some set +of friends, some circle of acquaintances, I suppose. He isn't at all +vulgar. One couldn't call him genteel, which is worse, I think. It's all +very odd. I'm not conventional. In Paris I'm considered even terribly +unconventional. I've met all sorts of men, but I've never met a man like +Arabian. But the other day--don't you remember?--you summed him up. You +said he had no education, no knowledge, no love of art or literature, +that he was clever, sensual, idle, acquisitive, made of iron, with +nerves of steel. Don't you remember?" + +"To be sure I do." + +"Isn't that enough to go upon?" + +"For the painting? No, it isn't. Besides, you said you weren't sure I +was right in my diagnosis of the chap's character and physical part." + +"I wasn't sure, and I'm not sure now." + +"Tell me God's own truth, Beryl. Come on!" + +He came up to her, put one hand on her left shoulder, and looked down +into her eyes. + +"Aren't you a bit afraid of the fellow?" + +She met his eyes steadily. + +"There's something--" She paused. + +"Go ahead, I tell you!" + +"I couldn't describe it. It's more like an atmosphere than anything +else. It seems to hang about him. I've never felt anything quite like it +when I've been with anyone else." + +"An atmosphere! Now we're getting at it." + +He took his heavy hand away from her shoulder. + +"A woman feels that sort of thing more sensitively than a man does. Sex! +Go on! What about it?" + +"But I scarcely know what I mean--really, Dick. No! But it's--it's an +unsafe atmosphere." + +"Ah!" + +"One doesn't know where one is in it. At least, I don't. Once in London +I was lost for a little while in Regents Park in a fog. It's--it's +something like that. I couldn't see the way, and I heard steps and +voices that sounded strange and--I don't know." + +"Find out!" + +"That's all very well. You are terribly selfish, Dick. You don't care +what happens so long as you can paint as you wish to paint. You'd +sacrifice me, anyone--" + +The girl seemed strangely uneasy. Her usual coolness had left her. The +hot blood had come back to her cheeks and glowed there in uneven patches +of red. Garstin gazed at her with profound and cruel interest. + +"Sacrifice!" he said. "Who talked of sacrificing you? Who wishes to +sacrifice you? I only want--" + +"One doesn't know--with a man like that one doesn't know where it would +lead to." + +"Then you think he's a thundering blackguard? And yet you defended him +just now, said perhaps I couldn't paint him just because I'd made up my +mind he was a brute. You're a mass of contradictions." + +"I don't say he's bad. He may not be bad." + +"Fact is, as I said, you're in a mortal funk of him." + +"I am not!" she said, with sudden anger. "No one shall say I'm afraid +of any man. You can ask anyone who knows me really well, and you will +always hear the same story. I'm afraid of no one and nothing, and I've +proved it again and again." + +"Well then, what's to prevent you proving it to me, my girl?" + +"I will!" + +She lifted her chin and looked suddenly impudent. + +"What do you wish me to do to prove it?" she asked him defiantly. + +"If Arabian does come to-day go away with him when he goes. Get to know +him really. You could, I believe. But ever since he's come here to sit +he has shut up the box which contains the truth of what he is, locked +it, and lost the key. His face is a mask, and I don't paint masks." + +"Very well. I will." + +"Good!" said Garstin sonorously, and looking suddenly much less tired +and morose. + +"But why do you think _I_ could get to know him?" + +"Because he's--but you know why better than I do." + +"I don't." + +"Arabian's in love with you, my girl. By Jove! There he is!" + +The bell had sounded below. + +With a swift movement Garstin got hold of a palette knife, sprang at the +sketch of Arabian, and ripped up the canvas from top to bottom. Miss Van +Tuyn uttered a cry. + +"Dick!" + +"That's all right!" + +He threw the knife down. + +"We'll do better than that by a long way." + +He got hold of her hand. + +"Stick to your word, my girl, and I'll paint you yet--and not an Academy +portrait. But you've got to _live_. Just now, with your cheeks all in +patches you looked stunning." + +The bell went again. + +"Now for him!" + +He hurried downstairs. + + + +CHAPTER IV + +Lady Sellingworth was afraid. In spite of her many triumphs in the past +she had a deep distrust of life. Since the tragedies of her middle age +her curious natural diffidence, which the habit of the world had never +been able to subdue, had increased. In ten years of retirement, in the +hundreds of hours of solitude which those ten years had held for her, it +had grown within her. And now it began to torment her. + +Life brings gifts to almost everyone, and often the gift-bearer's +approach is absolutely unexpected. So it had been in Lady Sellingworth's +case. She had had no premonition that a change was preparing for her. +Nothing had warned her to be on the alert when young feet turned into +Berkeley Square on a certain Sunday in autumn and made towards her +door. Abruptly, after years of neglect, it seemed as if life suddenly +remembered that there was a middle-aged woman, with lungs which still +mechanically did their work, and a heart which still obstinately +persisted in beating, living in Berkeley Square, and that scarcely a +bare bone had been thrown to her for some thousands of days. And then +life brought her Craven, with an unusual nature, with a surely romantic +mind, with a chivalrous sense that was out of the fashion, with +faculties making for friendship; life offered, or seemed to offer her +Craven, to whisper in her ear, "You have been starving alone for a +long time. To tell the truth, I had forgotten all about you. I did not +remember you were there. I don't quite know why you persist in +being there. But, as you do, and as you are wearing thin for want of +sustenance, here is something for you!" + +And now, because of what life had done, Lady Sellingworth was afraid. +When she had parted from her friends after the theatre party, and was +once more alone in her big house, she knew thoroughly, absolutely, for +the first time what life had done. + +All the calm, the long calm of her years of retirement from the +world, had gone. She now knew how strangely safe she had felt in her +loneliness. She had felt surely something of the safety of a nun of one +of the enclosed orders. In her solitude she had learnt to understand +how dangerous the great world is, how full of trials for the nerves, +the temper, the flesh, the heart. The woman who goes into it needs to +be armed. For many weapons thrust at her. She must be perpetually on the +alert, ready to hold her own among the attacking eyes and tongues. And +she must not be tired, or dull, or sad, must not show, or follow, her +varying moods, must not quietly rest in sincerity. When she had lived in +the world Lady Sellingworth had scarcely realized all this. But in +her long retirement she had come fully to realize it. There had been a +strange and embracing sense of safety permeating her solitary life. She +had got up in the morning, she had gone to bed at night, feeling safe. +For the storms of the passions were stilled, and though desire might +stir sometimes, it soon slept again. For she never took her desire into +danger. She did not risk the temptations of the world. + +But now all the old restlessness, all the old anxiety and furtive +uneasiness of the mind, had returned. She was again what she had often +been more than ten years ago--a woman tormented. And--for she knew +herself now--she knew what was in store for her if she gave herself +again to life and her own inclinations. + +For it had all come back; the old greedy love of sympathy and +admiration, the old worship of strength and youth and hot blood and good +looks, the old longing for desire and love, the old almost irritable +passion to possess, to dominate, to be first, to submerge another human +being in her own personality. + +After ten years she was in love again, desperately in love. But she was +an elderly woman now, so elderly that many people would no doubt think +that it was impossible that she should be in love. How little such +people knew about human nature! The evening had been almost as wonderful +and as exciting to her as it could have been to a girl. When she had +come into the hall of the Carlton and had seen Craven through the glass, +had seen his tall figure, smooth, dark hair, and animated face glowing +with health after the breezes and sunrays of Beaconsfield, she had known +a feeling that a girl might have understood and shared. + +And she was sixty! + +What was to be done? + +Craven was certainly fond of her already. Quietly she had triumphed that +night. Three women had seen and had quite understood her little triumph. +Probably all of them had wondered about it, had been secretly irritated +by it. Certainly Beryl had been very much irritated. But in spite of +that triumph, Lady Sellingworth felt almost desperately afraid that +night when she was alone. For she knew how great the difference was +between her feeling for Craven and his feeling for her. And with greater +intimacy that difference, she felt sure, must even increase. For she +would want from him what he would never want or even dream of wanting, +from her. He would be satisfied in their friendship while she would be +almost starving. He would never know that cruel longing to touch which +marks the difference between what is love and what is friendship. + +If she now let herself go, took no drastic step, just let life carry +her on, she could have a strange and unusual, and, in its way, beautiful +friendship, a friendship which to a woman with a different nature from +hers might seem perfect. She could have that--and what would it be to +her? + +She longed to lay violent hands on herself; she longed to tear something +that was an essential part of her to pieces, to scatter it to a wind, +and let the wind whirl it away. + +She knelt down that night before getting into bed and prayed. And +when she did that she thought of Sellingworth and of his teachings and +opinions. How he would have laughed at her if he had ever seen her do +that! She had not wanted to do it in the years when she had been with +him. But now, if his opinions had been well founded, he was only dust +and perhaps a few fragments of bone. He could not laugh at her now. And +she felt a really desperate need of prayer. + +She did not pray to have something that she wanted. She knew that would +be no use. Even if there was a God who attended to individuals, he would +certainly not give her what she wanted just then. To do so would be +deliberately to interfere with the natural course of things, arbitrarily +to change the design. And something in Lady Sellingworth's brain +prevented her from being able even for a moment to think that God would +ever do that. She prayed, therefore, that she might cease to want what +she wanted; she prayed that she might have strength to do a tremendously +courageous thing quickly; she prayed that she might be rewarded for +doing it by afterwards having physical and mental peace; she prayed that +she might be permanently changed, that she might, after this last trial, +be allowed to become passionless, that what remained of the fiercely +animal in her might die out, that she might henceforth be as old in +nature as she already was in body. "For," she said to herself, "only +in that oldness lies safety for me! Unless I can be all old--mind and +nature, as well as body--I shall suffer horribly again." + +She prayed that she might feel old, so old that she might cease from +being attracted by youth, from longing after youth in this dreadful +tormenting way. + +When she got up from her knees it was one o'clock. She took two tablets +of aspirin and got into bed. And directly she was in bed an idea +seemed to hit her mind, and she trembled slightly, as if she had really +received a blow. She had just been praying for something earnestly, +almost violently, and she had prayed with clear understanding, with the +understanding that a long and fully lived life brings to every really +intelligent human being. Did she really want her prayer to be answered, +or had she been trying to humbug herself? She had thought of a test +which would surely prove whether she was genuine in her desire to escape +from the torment that was lying in wait for her or not. Instead of +receiving a visit from her Greek to-morrow, instead of being at home to +Craven in the late afternoon, instead of giving herself up to the lure +which must, she knew, certainly lead her on to emotional destruction, +she might do this: she might telephone to Sir Seymour Portman to come to +her and tell him that she would reward his long faithfulness. + +It would be a way out. If she could bring herself to do it she would +make herself safe. For though Seymour Portman had been so faithful, and +she had never rewarded him, he was not a man any woman would dare to +play with. Lady Sellingworth knew that she would never break a promise +to him, would never play fast and loose with him. He was strong and +he was true, and he had very high ideals and an almost stern code of +honour. In accepting him as her husband she would shut a door of steel +between herself and her past, with its sins and its many follies. She +would begin again, as an old woman with a devoted husband who would +know--none better--how to make himself respected, how to hold by his +rights. + +People might smile at such a marriage, but it would be absolutely +suitable. Seymour was a few years older than she was. But he was still +strong and upright, could still sit a horse as well as any man, still +had a steady hand with his gun. He was not a ruin. She would be able +to rest on him. A more perfect support for a woman than Seymour, if +he loved, was surely not created. He was a gentleman to the core, and +totally incapable of insincerity. He was fearless. He belonged to her +world. He was _persona grata_ at Court and in society. And he loved her +in that extraordinary and very rare way--as the one woman. All he needed +in a woman quite evidently he found in her. How? Why? She did not know, +could not understand. But so it was. She would absolutely satisfy his +desires. + +The aspirin was stilling her nerves. She lay without moving. Had she +been a humbug when she prayed? Had she prayed knowing quite well that +her prayer was not going to be answered, not intending, or wishing, +really, that it should be answered? Had she prayed without any belief +in a Being who had the power and probably the will to give her what she +asked for? Would she have prayed at all had she been sure that if she +offered up a petition to be made old in nature as well as in body it +would certainly be granted? + +"I don't know! I don't know!" she whispered to herself. + +The darkness of the big room suddenly seemed very strange. And she +thought how odd it was that human beings need in every twenty-four hours +a long period of blackness, that they make blackness by turning out +light, and stretch themselves out in it as if getting ready for burial. + +"Burial! If I'm not a humbug, if really I wish for peace, to-morrow I +shall send for Seymour," she said to herself. "Through him I can get +peace of mind. He will protect me against myself, without even knowing +that he is doing it. I have only to speak a sentence to him and all +possibility of danger, torment and wildness will be over for ever." + +And then she thought of the safety of a prison. But anything was surely +better than misery of mind and body, than wanting terribly from someone +what he never wants to give you, what he never wants from you. + +Torment in freedom, or stagnant peace in captivity behind the prison +door--which was the more desirable? Craven's voice through +the telephone--their conversation about Waring--Seymour's long +faithfulness--if he were here now! How would it be? And if Craven--No! +No! + +Another tablet of aspirin--and sleep! + +Lady Sellingworth did not pray the next morning. But she telephoned +to Seymour Portman, and said she would be at home about five in the +afternoon if he cared for an hour's talk. She gave no hint that she had +any special reason for asking him to come. If he only knew what was in +her mind! His firm, quiet, soldier's voice replied through the telephone +that of course he would come. Somehow she guessed that he had had an +engagement and was going to give it up for her. What would he not give +up for her? And yet he was a man accustomed to command, and to whom +authority was natural. But he was also accustomed to obey. He was the +perfect courtier, devoted to the monarchy, yet absolutely free from the +slave instinct. Good kings trust such men. Many women love them. + +"Why not I?" Lady Sellingworth thought that day. + +And it seemed to her that perhaps even love might be subject to will +power, that a determined effort of will might bring it or banish it. She +had never really tested her will in that way in connexion with love. But +the time had come for the test to be made. + +"Perhaps I can love Seymour!" she said to herself. "Perhaps I could have +loved him years ago if I had chosen. Perhaps I have only to use my will +to be happy with him. I have never controlled my impulses. That has been +my curse and the cause of all my miseries." + +At that moment she entirely forgot the ten years of self-control which +were behind her. The sudden return to her former self had apparently +blotted them out from her memory. + +After telephoning to Seymour Portman she wrote a little note to Craven +and sent it round to the Foreign Office. In the note she explained +briefly that she was not able to see him that afternoon as had been +arranged between them. The wording of the note was cold. She could not +help that. She wrote it under the influence of what she thought of just +then as a decision. If she did what she believed she intended to do that +afternoon she would have to be cold to Craven in the future. With her +temperament it would be impossible to continue her friendship with +Craven if she were going to marry Sir Seymour. She knew that. But she +did not know how frigid, how almost brusque, her note to Craven was. + +When he read it he felt as if he had received a cold douche. It startled +him and hurt him, hurt his youthful sensitiveness and pride. And he +wondered very much why Lady Sellingworth had written it, and what had +happened to make her write to him like that. She did not even ask him +to call on her at some other time on some other day. And it had been she +who had suggested a cosy talk that afternoon. She had been going to +show him a book of poems by a young American poet in whose work she was +interested. And they would have talked over the little events of the +preceding evening, have discussed Moscovitch, the play, the persistence +of love, youth, age, everything under the sun. + +Craven was severely disappointed. He even felt rather angry and hurt. +Something in him was up in arms, but something else was distressed and +anxious. It was extraordinary how already he had come to depend upon +Lady Sellingworth. His mother was dead. He certainly did not think of +Lady Sellingworth as what is sometimes called "a second mother." There +was nothing maternal about her, and he was fully aware of that. Besides, +she did not fascinate him in the motherly way. No; but owing to the +great difference in their ages he felt that he could talk to her as he +could talk to nobody else. For he was in no intimate relation with any +other woman so much older than himself. And to young women somehow one +can never talk so freely, so companionably. Even in these modern days +sex gets in the way. Craven told himself that as he folded up Lady +Sellingworth's letter. She was different. He had felt that for him there +was quite a beautiful refuge in Berkeley Square. And now! What could +have happened? She must surely be vexed about something he had done, +or about something which had occurred on the previous evening. And he +thought about the evening carefully and minutely. Had she perhaps been +upset by Lady Wrackley and Mrs. Ackroyde? Was she self-conscious as he +was, and had she observed their concentration upon herself and him? Or, +on the other hand, could she had misunderstood his manner with Miss Van +Tuyn? He knew how very sensitive women are about each other. And Lady +Sellingworth, of course, was old, although he never bothered, and seldom +thought, about her age. Elderly women were probably in certain ways even +more sensitive than young women. He could well understand that. And he +certainly had rather made love to Miss Van Tuyn because of the horribly +observing eyes of the "old guard." And then, too, Miss Van Tuyn had +finally almost required it of him. Had she not told him that she had +insisted on Lady Sellingworth's being asked to the theatre to entertain +Braybrooke so that Craven and she, the young ones, might have a nice +little time? After that what could he do but his duty? But perhaps Lady +Sellingworth had not understood. He wondered, and felt now hurt and +angry, now almost contrite and inclined to be explanatory. + +When he left the Foreign Office that day and was crossing the Mall he +was very depressed. A breath of winter was in the air. There was a bank +of clouds over Buckingham Palace, with the red sun smouldering just +behind their edges. The sky, as it sometimes does, held tenderness, +anger and romance, and was full of lures for the imagination and the +soul. Craven looked at it as he walked on with a colleague, a man called +Marshall, older than himself, who had just come back from Japan, and +was momentarily translated. He voyaged among the clouds, and was carried +away across that cold primrose and delicate green, and his journey +was into the ineffable, and beyond the rim of the horizon towards the +satisfaction of the unexpressed, because inexpressible, desires. And +Marshall talked about Japanese art and presently about geishas, not +stupidly, but with understanding. And Craven thought: "If only I were +going to Berkeley Square!" He had come down to earth, but in the +condition which yearns for an understanding mind. Lady Sellingworth +understood him. But now--he did not know. And he went with Marshall +drearily to the St. James's Club and went on hearing about geishas and +Japanese art. + +The bell sounded in Berkeley Square, and a footman let in Sir Seymour +Portman, who was entirely unconscious that Fate had been working +apparently with a view to the satisfaction of his greatest desire. He +had long ago given up hope of being Adela Sellingworth's husband. Twice +that hope had died--when she had married Lord Manham, and when she had +married Sellingworth. Adela could not care for him in that way. But now +for many years she had remained unmarried, had joined him, as it were, +in the condition of being lonely. That fact had helped him along the +road. He could go to her and feel that he was in a certain degree +wanted. That was something, even a good deal, in the old courtier's +life. He valued greatly the welcome of the woman whom he still loved +with an undeviating fidelity. He was thankful, selfishly, no doubt--he +often said so to himself--for her loneliness, because he believed +himself able to cheer it and to alleviate it. And at last he had ceased +to dread any change in her way of life. His Adela had evidently at last +"settled down." Her vivacious temperament, her almost greedy love of +life, were abated. He had her more or less to himself. + +As he mounted the staircase with his slow, firm step, holding his +soldierly figure very upright, he was looking forward to one of the +usual quiet, friendly conversations with Adela which were his greatest +enjoyments, and as he passed through the doorway of the drawing-room his +eyes turned at once towards the sofa near the big fireplace, seeking for +the tall figure of the woman who so mysteriously had captured his +heart in the long ago and who had never been able to let it out of her +keeping. + +But there was no one by the fire, and the butler said: + +"I will tell her ladyship that you are here, sir." + +"Thank you, Murgatroyd," said Sir Seymour. + +And he went to the fireplace, turned round, and began to warm his flat +back. + +He stood there thus till his back was quite warm. Adela was rather slow +in coming. But he did not mind that. It was happiness for him to be in +her house, among her things, the sofas and chairs she used, the carpet +her feet pressed every day, the books she read, the flowers she had +chosen. This house was his idea of a home who had never had a home +because of her. + +Meanwhile upstairs, in a big bedroom just overhead, Lady Sellingworth +was having a battle with herself of which her friend was totally +unconscious. She did not come down at once because she wanted definitely +and finally to finish that battle before she saw again the man by the +fire. But something said to her: "Don't decide till you have seen him +again. Look at him once more and then decide." She walked softly up and +down the room after Murgatroyd had told her who was waiting for her, and +she felt gnawed by apprehension. She knew her fate was in the balance. +All day she had been trying to decide what she was going to do. All day +she had been saying to herself: "Now, this moment, I will decide, and +once the decision is made there shall be no going back from it." It was +within her power to come to a decision and to stick to it; or, if it +were not within her power, then she was not a sane but an insane woman. +She knew herself sane. Yet the decision was not arrived at when Sir +Seymour rang the bell. Now he was waiting in the room underneath and the +matter must be settled. An effort of will, the descent of a flight of +stairs, a sentence spoken, and her life would be made fast to an anchor +which would hold. And for her there would be no more drifting upon +dangerous seas at the mercy of tempests. + +"Look at him once more and then decide." + +The voice persisted within her monotonously. But what an absurd +injunction that was. She knew Seymour by heart, knew every feature of +him, every expression of his keen, observant, but affectionate eyes, the +way he held himself, the shapes of his strong, rather broad hands--the +hands of a fine horseman and first-rate whip--every trick of him, +every attitude. Why look at him, her old familiar friend, again before +deciding what she was now going to do? + +"Look at him as the man who is going to be your husband!" + +But that was surely a deceiving insidious voice, suggesting to her +weakness, uncertainty, hesitation, further mental torment and further +debate. And she was afraid of it. + +She stood still near the window. She must go down. Seymour had already +been waiting some time, ten minutes or more. He must be wondering +why she did not come. He was not the sort of man one cares to keep +waiting--although he had waited many years scarcely daring to hope for +something he longed for. She thought of his marvellous happiness, his +wonderful surprise, if she did what she meant--or did she mean it--to +do. Surely it would be a splendid thing to bring such a flash of +radiance into a life of twilight. Does happiness come from making others +happy? If so, then--She must go down. + +"I will do it!" she said to herself. "Merely his happiness will be +enough reward." + +And she went towards the door. But as she did so her apprehension grew +till her body tingled with it. A strange sensation of being physically +unwell came upon her. She shrank, as if physically, from the clutching +hands of the irrevocable. If in a hurry, driven by her demon, she were +to say the words she had in her mind there would be no going back. She +would never dare to unsay them. She knew that. But that was just the +great advantage she surely was seeking--an irrevocable safety from +herself, a safety she would never be able to get away from, break out +of. + +In a prison there is safety from all the dangers and horrors of the +world outside the prison. But what a desperate love of the state she now +called freedom burned within her! Freedom for what, though? She knew and +felt as if her soul were slowly reddening. It was monstrous that thought +of hers. Yet she could not help having it. It was surely not her fault +if she had it. Was she a sort of monster unlike all other women of her +age? Or did many of them, too, have such thoughts? + +She must go down. And she went to the door and opened it. And directly +she saw the landing outside and the descending staircase she knew that +she had not yet decided, that she could not decide till she had looked +at Seymour once more, looked at him with the almost terrible eyes of +the deeply experienced woman who can no longer decide a thing swiftly in +ignorance. + +"I shall do it," she said to herself. "But I must be reasonable, and +there is no reason why I should force myself to make up my mind finally +up here. I have sent for Seymour and I know why. When I see him, when I +am with him, I shall do what I intended to do when I asked him to come." + +She shut her bedroom door and began to go downstairs, and as she went +she imagined Seymour settled in that house with her. (For, of course, he +would come to live in Berkeley Square, would leave the set of rooms he +occupied now in St. James's Palace.) She had often longed to have a male +companion living with her in that house, to smell cigar smoke, to hear +a male voice, a strong footstep in the hall and on the stairs, to see +things that implied a man's presence lying about, caps, pipes, walking +sticks, golf clubs, riding crops. The whole atmosphere of the house +would be changed if a man came to live with her there, if Seymour came. + +But--her liberty? + +She had gained the last stair and was on the great landing before the +drawing-room door. Down below she heard a faint and discreet murmur of +voices from Murgatroyd and the footman in the hall. And as she paused +for a moment she wondered how much those two men knew of her and of her +real character, whether they had any definite knowledge of her humanity, +whether they had perhaps realized in their way what sort of woman she +was, sometimes stripped away the _Grande Dame_, the mistress, and looked +with appraising eyes at the stark woman. + +She would never know. + +She opened the door and instantly assumed her usual carelessly friendly +look. + +Sir Seymour had left the fire, and was sitting in an armchair with a +book in his hand reading when she came in; and as she had opened the +door softly, and as it was a long way from the fireplace he did not hear +her or instantly realize that she was there. She had an instant in which +to contemplate him as he sat there, like a man quietly at home. Only +one lamp was lit. It stood on a table behind him and threw light on his +rather big head thickly covered with curly and snow-white hair, the hair +which he sometimes smilingly called his "cauliflower." The light fell, +too, aslant on his strong-featured manly face, the slightly hooked nose, +large-lipped, firm mouth, shaded by a moustache in which some dark +hairs were mingled with the white ones, and chin with a deep dent in the +middle of it. His complexion was of that weather-beaten red hue which is +often seen in oldish men who have been much out in all weathers. There +were many deep lines in the face, two specially deep ones slanting +downwards from the nose on either side of the mouth. Above the nose +there was a sort of bump, from which the low forehead slightly retreated +to the curves of strong white hair. The ears were large but well shaped. +In order to read he had put on pince-nez with tortoise-shell rimmed +glasses, from which hung a rather broad black riband. His thin figure +looked stiff even in an arm-chair. His big brown-red hands held the book +up. His legs were crossed, and his feet were strongly defined by the +snowy white spats which partially concealed the varnished black boots. +He looked a distinguished old man as he sat there--but he looked old. + +"Is it possible that I look at all that sort of age?" was Lady +Sellingworth's thought as, for a brief instant, she contemplated him, +with an intensity, a sort of almost fierce sharpness which she was +scarcely aware of. + +He looked up, made a twitching movement; his pince-nez fell to his black +coat, and he got up alertly. + +"Adela!" + +She shut the door and went towards him, and as she did so she thought: + +"If I had seen Alick Craven sitting there reading!" + +"I was having a look at this." + +He held up the book. It was Baudelaire's "_Les Fleurs du Mal_." + +"Not the book for you!" she said. "Though your French is so good." + +"No." + +He laid it down, and she noticed the tangle of veins on his hand. + +"The dandy in literature doesn't appeal to me. I must say many of these +poets strike me as decadent fellows, not helped to anything like real +manliness by their gifts." + +She sat down on the sofa, just where she had sat to have those long +talks with Craven about Waring and Italy, the sea people, the colours of +the sails on those ships which look magical in sunsets, which move on as +if bearing argosies from gorgeous hidden lands of the East. + +"But never mind Baudelaire," he continued, and his eyes, heavily lidded +and shrouded by those big bushy eyebrows which seem to sprout almost +with ardent violence as the body grows old, looked at her with melting +kindness. "What have you been doing, my dear? The old dog wants to know. +There is something on your mind, isn't there?" + +Lady Sellingworth had once said to Sir Seymour that he reminded her of a +big dog, and he had laughed and said that he was a big dog belonging to +her. Since that day, when he wrote to her, he had often signed himself +"the old dog." And often she had thought of him almost as one thinks of +a devoted dog, absolutely trustworthy, ready for instant attack on your +enemies, faithful with unquestioning faithfulness through anything. + +As he spoke he gently took her hand, and she thought, "If Alick Craven +were taking my hand!" + +The touch of his skin was warm and very dry. It gave her a woman's +thoughts, not to be told of. + +"What is it?" he asked. + +Very gently she released her hand, and as she did so she looked on it +almost sternly. + +"Why?" she said. "Do I look unhappy--or what? Sit down, Seymour dear." + +She seemed to add the last word with a sort of pressure, with almost +self-conscious intention. + +He drew the tails of his braided morning coat forward with both hands +and sat down, and she thought, "How differently a young man sits down!" + +"Unhappy!" he said, in his quiet and strong, rather deep voice. + +He looked at her with the scrutinizing eyes of affection, whose gaze +sometimes is so difficult to bear. And she felt that something within +her was writhing under his eyes. + +"I don't think you often look happy, Adela. No; it isn't that. But you +look to-day as if you had been going through something which had tried +your nerves--some crisis." + +He paused. She remained silent and looked at his hands and then at his +eyelids and eyebrows. And there was a terrible coldness in her scrutiny, +which she did not show to him, but of which she was painfully aware. +His nails were not flat, but were noticeably curved. For a moment the +thought in her mind was simply, "Could I live with those nails?" +She hated herself for that thought; she despised herself for it; she +considered herself almost inhuman and certainly despicable, and she +recalled swiftly what Seymour was, the essential beauty and fineness +of his character, his truth, his touching faithfulness. And almost +simultaneously she thought, "Why do old men get those terribly bushy +eyebrows, like thickets?" + +"Perhaps I think too much," she said. "Living alone, one thinks--and +thinks. You have so much to do and I so little." + +"Sometimes I think of retiring," he said. + +"From the court?" + +"Yes." + +"Oh, but they would never let you!" + +"My place could be filled easily enough." + +"Oh, no, it couldn't." + +And she added, leaning forward now, and looking at him differently: + +"Don't you ever realize how rare you are, Seymour? There is scarcely +anyone left like you, and yet you are not old-fashioned. Do you know +that I have never yet met a man who really was a man--" + +"Now, now, Adela!" + +"No, I will say it! I have never met a real man who, knowing you, didn't +think you were rare. They wouldn't let you go. Besides, what would you +retire to?" + +Again she looked at him with a scrutiny which she felt to be morally +cruel. She could not refrain from it just then. It seemed to come +inevitably from her own misery and almost desperation. At one moment she +felt a rush of tenderness for him, at another an almost stony hardness. + +"Ah--that's just it! I dare say it will be better to die in harness." + +"Die!" she said, as if startled. + +At that moment the thought assailed her, "If Seymour were suddenly to +die!" There would be a terrible gap in her life. Her loneliness then +would be horrible indeed unless--she pulled herself up with a sort of +fierce mental violence. "I won't! I won't!" she cried out to herself. + +"You are very strong and healthy, Seymour," she said, "I think you will +live to be very old." + +"Probably. Palaces usually contain a few dodderers. But is anything the +matter, Adela? The old dog is very persistent, you know." + +"I've been feeling a little depressed." + +"You stay alone too much, I believe." + +"It isn't that. I was out at the theatre with a party only last night. +We went to _The Great Lover_. But he wasn't like you. You are a really +great lover." + +And again she leaned forward towards him, trying to feel physically what +surely she was feeling in another way. + +"The greatest in London, I am sure." + +"I don't know," he said, very simply. "But certainly I have the gift of +faithfulness, if it is a gift." + +"We had great discussions on love and jealousy last night." + +"Did you? Whom were you with?" + +"I went with Beryl Van Tuyn and Francis Braybrooke." + +"An oddly uneven pair!" + +"Alick Craven was with us, too." + +"The boy I met here one Sunday." + +Lady Sellingworth felt an almost fierce flash of irritation as she heard +him say "boy." + +"He's hardly a boy," she said. "He must be at least thirty, and I think +he seems even older than he is." + +"Does he? He struck me as very young. When he went away with that +pretty girl it was like young April going out of the room with all the +daffodils. They matched." + +The intense irritation grew in Lady Sellingworth. She felt as if she +were being pricked by a multitude of pins. + +"Beryl is years and years younger than he is!" she said. "I don't think +you are very clever about ages, Seymour. There must be nearly ten years +difference between them." + +Scarcely had she said this than her mind added, "And about thirty years' +difference between him and me!" And then something in her--she thought +of it as the soul--crumpled up, almost as if trying to die and know +nothing more. + +"What is it, Adela?" again he said, gently. "Can't I help you?" + +"No, no, you can't!" she answered, almost with desperation, no longer +able to control herself thoroughly. + +Suddenly she felt as if she were losing her head, as if she might break +down before him, let him into her miserable secret. + +"The fact is," she continued, fixing her eyes upon him, as a criminal +might fix his eyes on his judge while denying everything. "The fact +is that none of us really can help anyone else. We may think we can +sometimes, but we can't. We all work out our own destinies in absolute +loneliness. You and I are very old friends, and yet we are far away from +each other, always have been and always shall be. No, you haven't the +power to help me, Seymour." + +"But what is the matter, my dear?" + +"Life--life!" she said, and there was a fierce exasperation in her +voice. "I cannot understand the unfairnesses of life, the cruel +injustices." + +"Are you specially suffering from them to-day?" he asked, and for a +moment his eyes were less soft, more penetrating, as they looked at her. + +"Yes!" she said. + +A terrible feeling of "I don't care!" was taking possession of her, was +beginning to drive her. And she thought of the women of the streets who, +in anger or misery, vomit forth their feelings with reckless disregard +of opinion in a torrent of piercing language. + +"I'm really just like one of them!" was her thought. "Trimmed up as a +lady!" + +"Some people have such happy lives, years and years of happiness, and +others are tortured and tormented, and all their efforts to be happy, or +even to be at peace, without any real happiness, are in vain. It is of +no use rebelling, of course, and rebellion only reacts on the rebel and +makes everything worse, but still--" + +Her face suddenly twisted. In all her life she thought she had never +felt so utterly hopeless before. + +Sir Seymour stretched out a hand to put it on hers, but she drew away. + +"No, no--don't! I'm not--you can't do anything, Seymour. It's no use!" + +She got up from the sofa, and walked away down the long drawing-room, +trying to struggle with herself, to get back self-control. It was like +madness this abrupt access of passion and violent despair, and she did +not know how to deal with it, did not feel capable of dealing with it. +She looked out of the window into Berkeley Square, after pulling back +curtain and blind. Always Berkeley Square! Berkeley Square till absolute +old age, and then death came! And she seemed to see her own funeral +leaving the door. Good-bye to Berkeley Square! She let the blind drop, +the curtain fall into its place. + +Sir Seymour had got up and was standing by the fire. She saw him in the +distance, that faithful old man, and she wished she could love him. She +clenched her hands, trying to will herself to love him and to want to +take him into her intimate life. But she could not bring herself to go +back to him just then, and she did not know what she was going to do. +Perhaps she would have left the room had not an interruption occurred. +She heard the door open and saw Murgatroyd and the footman bringing in +tea. + +"You can turn up another light, Murgatroyd," she said, instantly +recovering herself sufficiently to speak in a natural voice. + +And she walked back down the room to Sir Seymour, carrying with her a +little silver vase full of very large white carnations. + +"These are the flowers I was speaking about," she said to him. "Have you +ever seen any so large before? They look almost unnatural, don't they?" + +When the servants were gone she said: + +"You must think me half crazy, Seymour." + +"No; but I don't understand what has happened." + +"_I_ have happened, I and my miserable disgusting mind and brain and +temperament. That's all!" + +"You are very severe on yourself." + +"Tell me--have you ever been severe on me in your mind? You don't really +know me. Nobody does or ever will. But you know me what is called well. +Have you ever been mentally severe, hard on me?" + +"Yes, sometimes," he answered gravely. + +She felt suddenly rather cold, and she knew that his answer had +surprised her. She had certainly expected him to say, "Never, my dear!" + +"I thought so," she said. + +And, while saying it, she was scarcely conscious that she was telling a +lie. + +"But you must not think that such thoughts about you ever make the least +difference in my feeling for you," he said. "That has never changed, +never could change." + +"Oh--I don't know!" she said in a rather hard voice. "Everything can +change, I think." + +"No." + +"I suppose you have often disapproved of things I have done?" + +"Sometimes I have." + +"Tell me, if--if things had been different, and you and I had come +together, what would you have done if you had disapproved of my +conduct?" + +"What is the good of entering upon that?" + +"Yes; do tell me! I want to know." + +"I hope I should find the way to hold a woman who was mine," he said, +with a sort of decisive calmness, but with a great temperateness. + +"But if you married an ungovernable creature?" + +"I doubt if anybody is absolutely ungovernable. In the army I have had +to deal with some stiff propositions; but there is always a way." + +"Is there? But in the army you deal with men. And we are so utterly +different." + +"I think I should have found the way." + +"Could he find the way now?" she thought. "Shall I do it? Shall I risk +it?" + +"Why do you look at me like that?" he asked; "almost as if you were +looking at me for the first time and were trying to make me out?" + +She did not answer, but gave him his tea and sat back on her sofa. + +"You sent for me for some special reason. You had some plan, some +project in your mind," he continued. "I did not realize that at first, +but now I am sure of it. You want me to help you in some way, don't +you?" + +She was still companioned by the desperation which had come upon her +when she had made that, for her, terrible comparison between Beryl Van +Tuyn's age and Craven's. Somehow it had opened her eyes--her own remark. +In hearing it she had seemed to hear other voices, almost a sea of +voices, saying things about herself, pitying things, sneering things, +bitter things; worst of all, things which sent a wave of contemptuous +laughter through the society to which she belonged. Ten years multiplied +by three! No, it was impossible! But there was only one way out. She was +almost sure that if she were left to herself, were left to be her own +mistress in perfect freedom, her temperament would run away with her +again as it had so often done in the past. She was almost sure that +she would brave the ridicule, would turn a face of stone to the subtle +condemnation, would defy the contempt of the "old guard," the sorrow +and pity of Seymour, the anger of Beryl Van Tuyn, even her own +self-contempt, in order to satisfy the imperious driving force within +her which once again gave her no rest. Seymour could save her from all +that, save her almost forcibly. Safety from it was there with her in +the room. Rocheouart, Rupert Louth, other young men were about her for a +moment. The brown eyes of the man who had stolen her jewels looked down +into hers pleading for--her property. After all her experiences could +she be fool enough to follow a marshlight again? But Alick Craven was +different from all these men. She gave him something that he really +seemed to want. He would be sorry, he would perhaps be resentful, if she +took it away. + +"Adela, if you cannot trust the old dog whom can you trust?" + +"I know--I know!" + +But again she was silent. If Seymour only knew how near he perhaps was +to his greatest desire's fulfilment! If he only knew the conflict which +was raging in her! At one moment she was on the edge of giving in, and +flinging herself into prison and safety. At another she recoiled. How +much did Seymour know of her? How well did he understand her? + +"You said just now that you had sometimes been hard on me in your mind," +she said abruptly. "What about?" + +"That's all long ago." + +"How long ago?" + +"Years and years." + +"Ten years?" + +"Yes--quite." + +"You have--you have respected me for ten years?" + +"And loved you for a great many more." + +"Never mind about love! You have respected me for ten years." + +"Yes, Adela." + +"Tell me--have you loved me more since you have been able to respect +me?" + +"I think I have. To respect means a great deal with me." + +"I must have often disgusted you very much before ten years ago. I +expect you have often wondered very much about me, Seymour?" + +"It is difficult to understand the great differences between your own +temperament and another's, of course." + +"Yes. How can faithfulness be expected to understand its opposite? You +have lived like a monk, almost, and I--I have lived like a courtesan." + +"Adela!" + +His deep voice sounded terribly hurt. + +"Oh, Seymour, you and I--we have always lived in the world. We know all +its humbug by heart. We are both old--old now, and why should we pretend +to each other? You know how lots of us have lived, no one better. And I +suppose I have been one of the worst. But, as you say, for ten years now +I have behaved myself." + +She stopped. She longed to say, "And, my God, Seymour, I am sick of +behaving myself!" That would have been the naked truth. But even to him, +after what she had just said, she could not utter it. Instead, she added +after a moment: + +"A great many lies have been lifted up as guiding lamps to men in the +darkness. One of them is the saying: 'Virtue is its own reward.' I have +behaved for ten years, and I know it is a lie." + +"Adela, what is exasperating you to-day? Can't you tell me?" + +Once more she looked at him with a sharp and intense scrutiny. She +thought it was really a final look, and one that was to decide her fate; +his too, though he did not know it. She knew his worth. She knew the +value of the dweller in his temple, and had no need to debate about +that. But she was one of those to whom the temple means much. She could +not dissociate dweller from dwelling. The outside had always had a +tremendous influence upon her, and time had not lessened that influence. +Perhaps Sir Seymour felt that she was trying to come to some great +decision, though he did not know, or even suspect, what that decision +was. For long ago he had finally given up all hope of ever winning her +for his wife. He sat still after asking this question. The lamplight +shone over his thick, curly white hair, his lined, weather-beaten, +distinguished old face, broad, cavalryman's hands, upright figure, shone +into his faithful dog's eyes. And she looked and took in every physical +detail, as only a woman can when she looks at a man whom she is +considering in a certain way. + +The silence seemed long. At last he broke it. For he had seen an +expression of despair come into her face. + +"My dear, what is it? You must tell me!" + +But suddenly the look of despair gave place to a mocking look which he +knew very well. + +"It's only boredom, Seymour. I have had too much of Berkeley Square. I +think I shall go away for a little." + +"To Cap Martin?" + +"Perhaps. Where does one go when one wants to run away from oneself?" + +And then she changed the conversation and talked, as she generally +talked to Sir Seymour, of the life they both knew, of the doings at +Court, of politics, people, the state of the country, what was likely to +come to old England. + +She had decided against Seymour. But she had not decided for Craven. +After a moment of despair, of feeling herself lost, she had suddenly +said to herself, or a voice had said in her, a voice coming from she +knew not where: + +"I will remain free, but henceforth I will be my own mistress in +freedom, not the slave of myself." + +And then mentally she had dismissed both Seymour and Craven out of her +life, the one as a possible husband, the other as a friend. + +If she could not bring herself to take the one, then she would not keep +the other. She must seek for peace in loneliness. Evidently that was +her destiny. She gave herself to it with mocking eyes and despair in her +heart. + + + + +PART FIVE + + + +CHAPTER I + +Three days later, soon after four o'clock, Craven rang the bell at +Lady Sellingworth's door. As he stood for a moment waiting for it to be +answered he wondered whether she would be at home to him, how she would +greet him if she chose to see him. The door was opened by a footman. + +"Is her ladyship at home?" + +"Her ladyship has gone out of town, sir." + +"When will she be back?" + +"I couldn't say, sir. Her ladyship has gone abroad." + +Craven stood for a moment without speaking. He was amazed, and felt as +if he had received a blow. Finally, he said: + +"Do you think she will be long away?" + +"Her ladyship has gone for some time, sir, I believe." + +The young man's face, firm, with rosy cheeks and shallow, blue eyes, was +strangely inexpressive. Craven hesitated, then said: + +"Do you know where her ladyship has gone? I--I wish to write a note to +her." + +"I believe it's some place near Monte Carlo, sir. Her ladyship gave +orders that no letters were to be forwarded for the present." + +"Thank you." + +Craven turned away and walked slowly towards Mayfair. He felt startled +and hurt, even angry. So this was friendship! And he had been foolish +enough to think that Lady Sellingworth was beginning to value his +company, that she was a lonely woman, and that perhaps his visits, his +sympathy, meant something, even a great deal to her. What a young fool +he had been! And what a humbug she must be! Suddenly London seemed +empty. He remembered the coldness in the wording of the note she had +sent him saying that she could not see him the day after the theatre +party. She had put forward no excuse, no explanation. What had happened? +He felt that something must have happened which had changed her feeling +towards him. For though he told himself that she must be a humbug, he +did not really feel that she was one. Perhaps she was angry with him, +and that was why she had not chosen to tell him that she was going +abroad before she started. But what reason had he given her for anger? +Mentally he reviewed the events of their last evening together. It had +been quite a gay evening. Nothing disagreeable had happened unless--Lady +Wrackley and Mrs. Ackroyde came to his mind. He saw them before him with +their observant, experienced eyes, their smiling, satirical lips. They +had made him secretly uncomfortable. He had felt undressed when he was +with them, and had realized that they knew of and were probably +amused by his friendship for Lady Sellingworth. And he had hated their +knowledge. Perhaps she had hated it too, although she had not shown a +trace of discomfort. Or, perhaps, she had disliked his manner with Miss +Van Tuyn, assumed to hide his own sensitiveness. And at that moment he +thought of his intercourse with Miss Van Tuyn with exaggeration. It +was possible that he had acted badly, had been blatant. But anyhow Lady +Sellingworth had been very unkind. She ought to have told him that she +was going abroad, to have let him see her before she went. + +He felt that this short episode in his life was quite over. It had ended +abruptly, undramatically. It had seemed to mean a good deal, and it had +really meant nothing. What a boy he had been through it all! His cheeks +burned at the thought. And he had prided himself on being a thorough +man of the world. Evidently, despite his knowledge of life, his Foreign +Office training, his experience of war--he had been a soldier for two +years--he was really something of a simpleton. He had "given himself +away" to Braybrooke, and probably to others as well, to Lady Wrackley, +Mrs. Ackroyde, and perhaps even to Miss Van Tuyn. And to Lady +Sellingworth! + +What had she thought of him? What did she think of him? Nothing perhaps. +She had belonged to the "old guard." Many men had passed through her +hands. He felt at that moment acute hostility to women. They were +treacherous, unreliable, even the best of them. They had not the +continuity which belonged to men. Even elderly women--he was thinking of +women of the world--even they were not to be trusted. Life was warfare +even when war was over. One had to fight always against the instability +of those around you. And yet there was planted in a man--at any rate +there was planted in him--a deep longing for stability, a need to +trust, a desire to attach himself to someone with whom he could be quite +unreserved, to whom he could "open out" without fear of criticism or of +misunderstanding. + +He had believed that in Lady Sellingworth he had found such an one, +and now he had been shown his mistake. He reached the house in which he +lived, but although he had walked to it with the intention of going in +he paused on the threshold, then turned away and went on towards Hyde +Park. Night was falling; the damp softness of late autumn companioned +him wistfully. The streets were not very full. London seemed unusually +quiet that evening. But when he reached the Marble Arch he saw people +streaming hither and thither, hurrying towards Oxford Street, pouring +into the Edgware Road, climbing upon omnibuses which were bound for +Notting Hill, Ealing and Acton, drifting towards the wide and gloomy +spaces of the Park. He crossed the great roadway and went into the Park, +too. Attracted by a small gathering of dark figures he joined them, and +standing among nondescript loungers he listened for a few minutes to +a narrow-chested man with a long, haggard face, a wispy beard and +protruding, decayed teeth, who was addressing those about him on the +mysteries of life. + +He spoke of the struggle for bread, of materialism, of the illusions +of sensuality, of the Universal Intelligence, of the blind cruelty of +existence. + +"You are all unhappy!" he exclaimed, in a thin but carrying voice, which +sounded genteel and fanatical. "You rush here and there not knowing why +or wherefore. Many of you have come into this very Park to-night without +any object, driven by the wish for something to take you out of your +miseries. Can you deny it, I say?" + +A tall soldier who was standing near Craven looked down at the plump +girl beside him and said: + +"How's that, Lil? We're both jolly miserable, ain't we?" + +"Go along with yer! Not me!" was the response, with an impudent look. + +"Then let's get on where it's quieter. What ho!" + +They moved demurely away. + +"Can you deny," the narrow-chested man continued, sawing the air with +a thin, dirty hand, "that you are all dissatisfied with life, that you +wonder about it, as Plato wondered, as Tolstoi wondered, as the Dean of +St. Paul's wonders, as I am wondering now? From this very Park you look +up at the stars, when there are any, and you ask yourselves--" + +At this point in the discourse Craven turned away, feeling that +edification was scarcely to be found by him here. + +Certainly at this moment he was dissatisfied with life. But that was +Lady Sellingworth's fault. If he were sitting with her now in Berkeley +square the scheme of things would probably not seem all out of gear. +He wondered where she was, what she was doing! The footman had said he +believed she was near Monte Carlo. Craven remembered once hearing her +say she was fond of Cap Martin. Probably she was staying there. It +occurred to him that possibly she had told some of her friends of her +approaching departure, though she had chosen to conceal it from him. +Miss Van Tuyn might have known of it. He resolved to go to Brook +Street and find out whether the charming girl had been in the secret. +Claridge's was close by. It would be something to do. If he could not +see Lady Sellingworth he wanted to talk about her. And at that moment +his obscure irritation made him turn towards youth. Old age had cheated +him. Well, he was young; he would seek consolation! + +At Claridge's he inquired for Miss Van Tuyn, and was told she was out, +had been out since the morning. Craven was pulling his card-case out of +his pocket when he heard a voice say: "Are there any letters for me?" He +swung round and there stood Miss Van Tuyn quite near him. For an instant +she did not see him, and he had time to note that she looked even +unusually vivid and brilliant. An attendant handed her some letters. She +took them, turned and saw Craven. + +"I had just asked for you," he said, taking off his hat. + +"Oh! How nice of you!" + +Her eyes were shining. He felt a controlled excitement in her. Her face +seemed to be trying to tell something which her mind would not choose to +tell. He wondered what it was, this secret which he divined. + +"Come upstairs and we'll have a talk in my sitting-room." + +She looked at him narrowly, he thought, as they went together to the +lift. She seemed to have a little less self-possession than usual, even +to be slightly self-conscious and because of that watchful. + +When they were in her sitting-room she took off her hat, as if tired, +put it on a table and sat down by the fire. + +"I've been out all day," she said. + +"Yes? Are you still having painting lessons?" + +"That's it--painting lessons. Dick is an extraordinary man." + +"You mean Dick Garstin. I don't know him." + +"He's absolutely unscrupulous, but a genius. I believe genius always is +unscrupulous. I am sure of it. It cannot be anything else." + +"That's a pity." + +"I don't know that it is." + +"But how does Dick Garstin show his unscrupulousness?" + +Miss Van Tuyn looked suddenly wary. + +"Oh--in all sorts of ways. He uses people. He looks on people as mere +material. He doesn't care for their feelings. He doesn't care what +happens to them. If he gets out of them what he wants it's enough. After +that they may go to perdition, and he wouldn't stretch out a finger to +save them." + +"What a delightful individual!" + +"Ah!--you don't understand genius." + +Craven felt rather nettled. He cared a good deal for the arts, and had +no wish to be set among the Philistines. + +"And--do you?" he asked. + +"Yes, I think so. I'm not creative, but I'm very comprehending. Artists +of all kinds feel that instinctively. That's why they come round me in +Paris." + +"Yes, you do understand!" he acknowledged, remembering her enthusiasm at +the theatre. "But I think _you_ are unscrupulous, too." + +He said it hardily, looking straight at her, and wondering what she had +been doing that afternoon before she arrived at the hotel. + +She smiled, making her eyes narrow. + +"Then perhaps I am half-way to genius." + +"Would you be willing to sacrifice all the moral qualities if you could +have genius in exchange?" + +"You can't expect me to say so. But it would be grand to have power over +men." + +"You have that already." + +She looked at him satirically. + +"Do you know you're a terrible humbug?" she said. + +"And are not you?" + +"No; I think I show myself very much as I really am." + +"Can a woman do that?" he said, with sudden moodiness. + +"It depends. Mrs. Ackroyde can and Lady Wrackley can't." + +"And--Lady Sellingworth?" he asked. + +"I'm afraid she is a bit of a humbug," said Miss Van Tuyn, without +venom. + +"I wonder when she'll be back?" + +"Back? Where from?" + +"Surely you know she had gone abroad?" + +The look of surprise in Miss Van Tuyn's face was so obviously genuine +that Craven added: + +"You didn't? Well, she has gone away for some time." + +"Where to?" + +"Somewhere on the Riviera, I believe. Probably Cap Martin. But letters +are not to be forwarded." + +"At this time of year! Has she gone away alone?" + +"I suppose so." + +Miss Van Tuyn looked at him with a sort of cold, almost hostile +shrewdness. + +"And she told you she was going?" + +"Why should she tell me?" he said, with a hint of defiance. + +Miss Van Tuyn left that at once. + +"So Adela has run away!" she said. + +She sat for a moment quite still, like one considering something +carefully. + +"But she will come back," she said presently, looking up at him, +"bringing her sheaves with her." + +"What do you mean?" + +"Don't you remember--in the Bible?" + +"But what has that to do with Lady Sellingworth?" + +"Perhaps you'll understand when she comes back." + +"I am really quite in the dark," he said, with obvious sincerity. "And +it's nothing to me whether Lady Sellingworth comes back or stops away." + +"I thought you joined with me in adoring her." + +"Adoration isn't the word. And you know it." + +"And letters are not to be forwarded?" said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"I heard so." + +"Ah! when you went to call on her!" + +"Now you are merely guessing!" + +"It must be terrible to be old!" said Miss Van Tuyn, with a change of +manner. "Just think of going off alone to the Riviera in the autumn at +the age of sixty! Beauties ought to die at fifty. Plain women can live +to a hundred if they like, and it doesn't really matter. Their tragedy +is not much worse then than it is at thirty-five. But beauties should +never live beyond fifty--at the very latest." + +"Then you must commit suicide at that age." + +"Thank you. The old women in hotels!" + +She shivered, and it seemed to him that her body shook naturally, as if +it couldn't help shaking. + +"But--remember--she'll come back with her sheaves!" she added, looking +at him. "And then the 'old guard' will fall upon her." + +For a moment she looked cruel, and though he did not understand her +meaning Craven realized that she would not have much pity for Lady +Sellingworth in misfortune. But Lady Sellingworth was cruel, too, had +been cruel to him. And he saw humanity without tenderness, teeth and +claws at work, barbarity coming to its own through the varnish. + +He only said: + +"I may be very stupid, but I don't understand." + +And then he changed the subject of conversation. Miss Van Tuyn became +gradually nicer to him, but he felt that she still cherished a faint +hostility to him. Perhaps she thought he regarded her as a substitute. +And was not that really the fact? He tried to sweep the hostility away. +He laid himself out to be charming to her. The Lady Sellingworth episode +was over. He would give himself to a different side of his nature, +a side to which Miss Van Tuyn appealed. She did not encourage him at +first, and he was driven to force the note slightly. When he went away +they had arranged to play golf together, to dine together one night +at the _Bella Napoli_. It was he who had suggested, even urged these +diversions. For she had almost made him plead to her, had seemed oddly +doubtful about seeing more of him in intimacy. And when he left her he +was half angry with himself for making such a fuss about trifles. But +the truth was--and perhaps she suspected it--that he was trying +to escape from depression, caused by a sense of injury, through an +adventure. He felt Miss Van Tuyn's great physical attraction, and just +then he wished that it would overwhelm him. If it did he would +soon cease from minding what Lady Sellingworth had done. A certain +recklessness possessed him. + +He dined with a friend at the club and stayed there rather late. When he +was leaving about half past eleven Braybrooke dropped in after a +party, and he told Braybrooke of Lady Sellingworth's departure for the +Continent. The world's governess showed even more surprise than Miss +Van Tuyn had shown. He had had no idea that Adela Sellingworth was going +abroad. She must have decided on it very abruptly. He had seen nothing +in the _Morning Post_. Had she gone alone? And no letters to be +forwarded! Dear me! It was all very odd and unexpected. And she had gone +on the Riviera at this time of year! But it was a desert; not a soul one +knew would be there. The best hotels were not even open, he believed. + +As he made his comments he observed Craven closely with his small hazel +eyes, but the young man showed no feeling, and Braybrooke began to think +that really perhaps he had made a mountain out of a molehill, that +he had done Adela Sellingworth an injustice. If she had really been +inclined to any folly about his young friend she would certainly not +have left London in this mysterious manner. + +"I suppose she let you know she was going?" he hazarded. + +"Oh, no. I happened to call and the footman gave me the news." + +"I hope she isn't ill," said Braybrooke with sudden gravity. + +"Ill? Why should you think--?" + +"There are women who hate it to be known when they are ill. Catherine +Bewdley went away without a word and was operated on at Lausanne, and +not one of us knew of it till it was all over. I don't quite like the +look of things. Letters not being forwarded--ha!" + +"But near Monte Carlo!" + +"_Is_ it near Monte Carlo?" + +He pursed his lips and went into the club looking grave, while Craven +went out into the night. It was black and damp. The pavement seemed +sweating. The hands of both autumn and winter were laid upon London. But +soon the hands of autumn would fail and winter would have the huge city +as its possession. + +"_Is_ it Monte Carlo?" + +Braybrooke's question echoed in Craven's mind. Could he have done Lady +Sellingworth a wrong? Was there perhaps something behind her sudden +departure in silence which altogether excused it? She might be ill and +have disappeared without a word to some doctor's clinic, as Braybrooke +had suggested. Women sometimes had heroic silences. Craven thought she +could be heroic. There was something very strong in her, he thought, +combined perhaps with many weaknesses. He wished he knew where she was, +what she was doing, whom she was with or whether she was alone. His +desire trailed after her against his will. Undoubtedly he missed her, +and felt oddly homeless now she was gone. + + + +CHAPTER II + +Miss Van Tuyn believed that things were coming her way after all. Young +Craven was suddenly released, and another very strong interest was +dawning in her life. Craven had not been wrong in thinking that she +was secretly excited when he met her in the hall at Claridge's. She +had fulfilled her promise to Dick Garstin, driven to fulfilment by his +taunt. No one should say with truth that she was afraid of anyone, man +or woman. She would prove to Garstin that she was not afraid of the +man he was trying to paint. So, on the day of their conversation in the +studio, she had left Glebe Place with Arabian. For the first time she +had been alone with him for more than a few minutes. + +She had gone both eagerly and reluctantly; reluctantly because there +was really something in Arabian which woke in her a sort of frail +and quivering anxiety such as she had never felt before in any man's +company; eagerly because Garstin had put into words what had till then +been only a suspicion in her mind. He had told her that Arabian was in +love with her. Was that true? Even now she was not sure. That was part +of the reason why she was not quite at ease with Arabian. She was not +sure of anything about him except that he was marvellously handsome. But +Garstin was piercingly sharp. What he asserted about anyone was usually +the fact. He could hardly be mistaken. Yet how could a woman be in doubt +about such a thing? And she was still, in spite of her vanity, in doubt. + +When Arabian had come into the studio that day, and had seen the sketch +of him ripped up by the palette knife, he had looked almost fierce for +a moment. He had turned towards Garstin with a sort of hauteur like one +demanding, and having the right to demand, an explanation. + +"What's the row?" Garstin had said, with almost insolent defiance. "I +destroyed it because it's damned bad. I hadn't got you." + +And then he had taken the canvas from the easel and had thrown it +contemptuously into a corner of the studio. + +Arabian had said nothing, but there had been a cloud on his face, and +Miss Van Tuyn had known that he was angry, as a man is angry when he +sees a bit of his property destroyed by another. And she had remembered +her words to Arabian, that the least sketch by Garstin was worth a great +deal of money. + +Surely Arabian was a greedy man. + +No work had been done in the studio that morning. They had sat and +talked for a while. Garstin had said most. He had been more agreeable +than usual, and had explained to Arabian, rather as one explains to a +child, that a worker in an art is sometimes baffled for a time, a writer +by his theme, a musician by his floating and perhaps half-nebulous +conception, a painter by his subject. Then he must wait, cursing +perhaps, damning his own impotence, dreading its continuance. But +there is nothing else to be done. _Pazienza!_ And he had enlarged upon +patience. And Arabian had listened politely, had looked as if he were +trying to understand. + +"I'll try again!" Garstin had said. "You must give me time, my boy. +You're not in a hurry to leave London, are you?" + +And then Miss Van Tuyn had seen Arabian's eyes turn to her as he had +said, but rather doubtfully: + +"I don't know whether I am." + +Garstin's eyes had said to her with sharp imperativeness: + +"Keep him! You're not to let him go!" + +And she had kept her promise; she had gone away from the studio with +Arabian leaving Garstin smiling at the door. And at that moment she had +almost hated Garstin. + +Arabian had asked her to lunch with him. She had consented. He had +suggested a cab, and the Savoy or the Carlton, or the Ritz if she +preferred it. But she had quickly replied that she knew of a small +restaurant close to Sloane Square Station where the food was very good. +Many painters and writers went there. + +"But we are not painters and writers!" Arabian had said. + +Nevertheless they had gone there, and had lunched in a quiet corner, and +she had left him about three o'clock. + +On the day of Craven's call at Claridge's she had been with Arabian +again. Garstin had begun another picture, and had worked on through +the lunch hour. Later they had had some food, a sort of picnic, in the +studio, and then she had walked away with Arabian. She had just left him +when she met Craven in the hall of the hotel. Garstin had not allowed +either her or Arabian to look at what he had done. He had, Miss Van Tuyn +thought, seemed unusually nervous and diffident about his work. She did +not know how he had gone on, and was curious. But she was going to dine +with him that night. Perhaps he would tell her then, or perhaps he had +only asked her to dinner that she might tell him about Arabian. + +And in the midst of all this had come Craven with his changed manner and +his news about Lady Sellingworth. + +Decidedly things were taking a turn for the better. To Miss Cronin's +increasingly plaintive inquiries as to when they would return to Paris +Miss Van Tuyn gave evasive replies. She was held in London, and had +almost forgotten her friends in Paris. + +She wondered why Adela had gone away so abruptly. Although she had half +hinted to Craven that she guessed the reason of this sudden departure, +and had asserted that Adela would presently come back bringing sheaves +with her, she was not at all sure that her guess was right. Adela might +return mysteriously rejuvenated and ready to plunge once more into +the fray, braving opinion. It might be a case of _reculer pour mieux +sauter_. On the other hand, it might be a flight from danger. Miss Van +Tuyn was practically certain that Adela had fallen in love with Alick +Craven. Was she being sensible and deliberately keeping out of his way, +or was she being mad and trying to be made young at sixty in order to +return armed for his captivation. Time would show. Meanwhile the ground +was unexpectedly clear. Craven was seeking her, and she, by Garstin's +orders and in the strict service of art, was pushing her way towards a +sort of intimacy with Arabian. But the difference between the two men! + +Craven's visit to Claridge's immediately after the hours spent +with Arabian had emphasized for her the mystery of the latter. Her +understanding of Craven underlined her ignorance about Arabian. The +confidence she felt in Craven--a confidence quite independent of his +liking, or not liking her--marked for her the fact that she had no +confidence in Arabian. Craven was just an English gentleman. He might +have done all sorts of things, but he was obviously a thoroughly +straight and decent fellow. A woman had only to glance at him to know +the things he could never do. But when she looked at Arabian--well, +then, the feeling was rather that Arabian might do anything. Craven +belonged obviously to a class, although he had a strong and attractive +individuality. English diplomacy presented many men of his type to the +embassies in foreign countries. But to what class did Arabian +belong? Even Dick Garstin was quite comprehensible, in spite of his +extraordinary manners and almost violent originality. He was a Bohemian, +with touches of genius, touches of vulgarity. There were others less +than him, yet not wholly unlike him, men of the studios, of the painting +schools, smelling as it were of Chelsea and the _Quartier Latin_. But +Arabian seemed to stand alone. When with him Miss Van Tuyn could not +tell what type of man must inevitably be his natural comrade, what must +inevitably be his natural environment. She could see him at Monte Carlo, +in the restaurants of Paris, in the _Galleria_ at Naples, in Cairo, in +Tunis, in a dozen places. But she could not see him at home. Was he +the eternal traveller, with plenty of money, a taste for luxury and +the wandering spirit? Or had he some purpose which drove him about the +world? + +After Craven had left her that day at Claridge's she had a sudden wish +to bring him and Craven together, to see how they got on together, to +hear Craven's opinion of Arabian. Perhaps she could manage a meeting +between the two men presently. Why not? + +Arabian had not attempted to make love to her on either of the two +occasions when she had been with him alone. Only his eyes had seemed to +tell her that he admired her very much, that he wanted something of her. +His manner had been noncommittal. He had seemed to be on his guard. + +There was something in Arabian which suggested to Miss Van Tuyn +suspicion. He was surely a man who, despite his "open" look, his bold +features, his enormously self-possessed manner, was suspicious of +others. He had little confidence in others. She was almost certain of +that. There was nothing cat-like in his appearance, yet at moments when +with him she thought of a tomcat, of its swiftness, suppleness, gliding +energies and watchful reserve. She suspected claws in his velvet, too. +And yet surely he looked honest. She thought his look was honest, but +that his "atmosphere" was not. Often he had a straight look--she could +not deny that to herself. He could gaze at you and let you return his +gaze. And yet she had not been able to read what he was in his eyes. + +He was not very easy to get on with somehow, although there was a great +deal of charm in his manner and although he was full of self-confidence +and evidently accustomed to women. But to what women was he accustomed? +That was a question which Miss Van Tuyn asked herself. Craven was +obviously at home in the society of ordinary ladies and of women of the +world. You knew that somehow directly you were with him. But--Arabian? + +Miss Van Tuyn could see him with smart _cocottes_. He would surely be +very much at ease with them. And many of them would be ready to adore +such a man. For there was probably a strain of brutality somewhere under +his charm. And they would love that. She could even see him, or fancied +that she could, with street women. For there was surely a touch of the +street in him. He must have been bred up in cities. He did not belong +to any fields or any woods that she knew or knew of. And--other women? +Well, she was numbered among those other women. And how was he with +her so far? Charming, easy, bold--yes; but also reserved, absolutely +non-committal. She was not at all sure whether she was going to be of +much use to Dick Garstin, except perhaps in her own person. Instead of +delivering to him the man he wanted to come at perhaps she would end by +delivering a woman worth painting--herself. + +For there was something in Arabian that was certainly dangerous to +her, something in him that excited her, that lifted her into an +unusual vitality. She did not quite know what it was. But she felt it +definitely. When she was with him alone she seemed to be in an adventure +through which a current of definite danger was flowing. No other man had +ever brought a sensation like that into her life, although she had met +many types of men in Paris, had known well talented men of acknowledged +bad character, reckless of the _convenances_, men who snapped their +fingers at all the prejudices of the orthodox, and who made no +distinction between virtues and vices, following only their own +inclinations. + +Such a man was Dick Garstin. Yet Miss Van Tuyn had never with him had +the sensation of being near to something dangerous which she had with +Arabian. Yet Arabian was scrupulously polite, was quiet, almost gentle +in manner, and had a great deal of charm. + +She remembered his following her in the street at night. What would he +be like with women of that sort? Would his gentleness be in evidence +with them, or would a totally different individual rise to the surface +of him, a beast of prey perhaps with the jungle in its eyes? + +Something in her shrank from Arabian as she had never yet shrunk from +a human being. But something else was fascinated by him. She had the +American woman's outlook on men. She expected men to hold their own in +the world with other men, to be self-possessed, cool-headed, and bold in +their careers, but to be subservient in their relations with women. To +be ruled by a husband would have seemed to her to be quite unnatural, to +rule him quite natural. She felt sure that no woman would be likely to +rule Arabian. She felt sure that his outlook on women was absolutely +unlike that of the American man. When she looked at him she thought of +the rape of the Sabines. Surely he was a primitive under his mask +of almost careful smartness and conventionality. There was something +primitive in her, too, and she became aware of that now. Hitherto she +had been inclined to believe that she was essentially complex, cerebral, +free from any trace of sentimentality, quiveringly responsive to the +appealing voices of the arts, healthily responsive to the joys of +athleticism almost in the way of a Greek youth in the early days of the +world, but that she was free from all taint of animalism. Men had told +her that, in spite of her charm and the fascination they felt in her, +she lacked one thing--what they chose to call temperament. That was +why, they said, she was able to live as she did, audaciously, even +eccentrically, without being kicked out of society as "impossible." She +was saved from disaster by her interior coldness. She lived by the brain +rather than by the senses. And she had taken this verdict to herself as +praise. She had felt refinement in her freedom from ordinary desire. She +had been proud of worshipping beauty without any coarse longing. To +her her bronzes had typified something that she valued in herself. Her +immense vanity had not been blended with those passions which shake many +women, which had devastated Lady Sellingworth. A coarseness in her mind +made her love to be physically desired by men, but no coarseness of +body made her desire them. And she had supposed that she represented the +ultra modern type of woman, the woman who without being cold--she would +not acknowledge that she was cold--was free from the slavish instinct +which makes all the ordinary women sisters in the vulgar bosom of +nature. + +But since she had seen Arabian she felt less highly civilized; she knew +that in her, too, lurked the horrible primitive. And that troubled and +at the same time fascinated her. + +Was that why when she had seen Arabian for the first time she had +resolved to get to know him? She had called him a living bronze, but +she had thought of him from the first, perhaps, with ardour as flesh and +blood. + +And yet at moments he repelled her. She, who was so audacious, did not +want to show herself with him at the Ritz, to walk down Piccadilly with +him in daylight. As she had said to Dick Garstin, an atmosphere seemed +to hang about Arabian--an unsafe atmosphere. She did not know where she +was in it. She lost her bearings, could not see her way, heard steps and +voices that sounded strange. And the end of it all was--"I don't know." +When she thought of Arabian always that sentence was in her mind--"I +don't know." + +She was strangely excited. And now Craven came to her. And he attracted +her, too, but in such a different way! + +Suddenly London was interesting! And "I don't know when we shall go back +to Paris!" she said to Miss Cronin. + +"Is it the Wallace Collection, Beryl?" murmured "Old Fanny," with +plaintive suspicion over her cup of camomile tea. + +"Yes, it's the Wallace Collection," said Miss Van Tuyn. + +And she went away to dress for her dinner with Dick Garstin. + +She met him at a tiny and very French restaurant in Conduit Street, +where the cooking was absolutely first rate, where there was no sound +of music, and where very few English people went. There were only some +eight or ten tables in the cosy, warm little room, and when Miss Van +Tuyn entered it there were not a dozen people dining. Dick Garstin was +not there. It was just like him to be late and to keep a woman waiting. +But he had engaged a table in the corner of the room on the right, away +from the window. And Miss Van Tuyn was shown to it by a waiter, and sat +down. On the way she had bought _The Westminster Gazette_. She opened +it, lit a cigarette, and began to glance at the news. There happened to +be a letter from Paris in which the writer described a new play which +had just been produced in an outlying theatre. Miss Van Tuyn read the +account. She began reading in a casual mood, but almost immediately all +her attention was grasped and held tight. She forgot where she was, +let her cigarette go out, did not see Garstin when he came in from +the street. When he came up and laid a hand on her arm she started +violently. + +"Who's--Dick!" + +An angry look came into her face. + +"Why did you do that?" + +"What's the matter?" + +He stared at her almost as if fascinated. + +"By Jove . . . you look wonderful!" + +"I forbid you to touch me like that! I hate being pawed, and you know +it." + +He glanced at the pale green paper. + +"The sea-green incorruptible!" + +He stretched out his hand, but she quickly moved the paper out of his +reach. + +"Let us dine. You've kept me waiting for ages." + +Garstin sent a look to his waiter, and sat down opposite to Miss Van +Tuyn with his back to the room. + +"I'll buy a _Westminster_ going back," he observed. "Bisque! Bring a +bottle of the Lanson, Raoul." + +He addressed the waiter in French. + +"_Oui, m'sieu_." + +"Well iced!" + +"_Certainement_, Monsieur Garstin." + +"Better tempered now, Beryl?" + +"You always make out that I have the temper of a fiend. I hate being +startled. That's all." + +"You're awfully nervy these days." + +"I think you are the cruellest man I know. If it weren't for your +painting no one would have anything to do with you." + +"I shouldn't care." + +"Yes, you would. You love being worshipped and run after." + +"Good soup, isn't it?" + +She made no answer to this. After a silence she said: + +"Why were you so late?" + +"To give you time to study the evening paper." + +"Were you working?" + +"No--cursing." + +"Why?" + +"This damned portrait's going to be no good either!" + +"Then you'd better give it up." + +He shot a piercing glance at her. + +"It isn't my way to give things up once I've put my hand to them," he +observed drily. "And you seem to forget that you put me up to it." + +"That was only a whim. You didn't take it seriously." + +"I do now, though." + +"But if you're baffled?" + +"For the moment. I've nearly always found that the best work comes +hardest. One has to sweat blood before one reaches the big thing. I +may begin on him half a dozen times, cut him to ribbons half a dozen +times--and then do a masterpiece." + +"I don't think he'll wait long enough. Another stab of the palette knife +and you'll probably see the last of him." + +"Ah--he didn't like it, did he?" + +"He was furious." + +"Did he say anything about it afterwards to you?" + +"Not a word. But he was furious. You stabbed money!" + +Garstin smiled appreciatively. Raoul was pouring out the champagne. +Garstin lifted his glass and set it down half empty. + +"Had you told him--" + +He paused. + +"He knows everything you do is worth money, a lot of money." + +"He's got the hairy heel. I always knew that. We'll get to his secret +yet, you and I between us." + +"I am not sure that I can stay over here very much longer, Dick. Paris +is my home, and I can't waste my money at Claridge's for ever." + +"If you like I'll pay the bill." + +She reddened. + +"Do you really think that if I were to go he--Arabian--" + +"He'd follow you by the next boat." + +"I'm sure he wouldn't." + +"You're not half so vain as I thought you were." + +"When we are alone he never attempts to make love to me. We talk +platitudes. I know him no better than I did before." + +"He's a wary bird. But the dawn must come and with it his crow." + +"Well, Dick, I tell you frankly that I may go back to Paris any day." + +"I knew you were nervy to-night. I wish I could find a woman who was a +match for a man in the nervous system. But there isn't one. That's why +we are so superior. We've got steel where you've all got fiddle strings. +Raoul!" + +He drank again and ate heartily. He was a voracious eater at times. But +there were days when he ate nothing and worked incessantly. + +They had begun dinner late, and the little restaurant was getting empty. +Three sets of diners had gone out since they had sat down. The waiters +were clearing some of the tables. A family party, obviously French, +lingered at a round table in the middle of the room over their coffee. A +pale man sat alone in a corner eating pressed duck with greedy avidity. +And Raoul, leaving Miss Van Tuyn and Garstin, placed a large vase of +roses on a table close to the window near the door. + +Miss Van Tuyn happened to see this action, and a vagrant thought slipped +through her mind. "Then we are not the last!" + +"My nerves are certainly not fiddle strings," she said. "But I have +interests which pull me towards Paris." + +"Greater interests here. Have some more champagne! Raoul!" + +"M'sieu!" + +"You can't deceive me, Beryl." + +"Your pose of omniscience bores me. Apart from your gift you're a very +ordinary man, Dick, if you could only be brought to see it." + +"Arabian fascinates you." + +"He doesn't." + +"And that's why you're afraid of him. You're afraid of his power because +you don't trust him. He's doing a lot for you. You're waking up. You're +becoming interesting. A few days ago you were only a beautiful spoilt +American girl, as cool and as hard as ice, brainy, vain, and totally +without temperament as far as one could see. Your torch was unlit. Now +this blackguard's put the match to it." + +"What nonsense, Dick!" + +"Raoul!" + +"M'sieu?" + +"That's all very well. But my intention is to paint him, not you. Why +don't you get to work hard? Why don't you put your back into it?" + +"This is beyond bearing, Dick, even from you!" + +She was looking really indignant. Her cheeks and forehead had reddened, +her eyes seemed to spit fire at him, and her hands trembled. + +"Your absolute lack of decent consideration is--you're canaille! Because +you're impotent to paint I am to--no, it's too much! Canaille! Canaille! +That's what you are! I shall go back to Paris. I shall--" + +Suddenly she stopped speaking and stared. The red faded out of her face. +A curiously conscious and intent look came into her eyes. She began to +move her head as if in recognition of some one, stopped and sat rigid, +pressing her lips together till her mouth had a hard grim line. Garstin, +who could only see her and the wall at her back, watched all this with +sharp interest, then, growing curious, turned round. As he did so he saw +a tall, very handsome dark girl, who had certainly not been in the room +when he entered it, going slowly, and as if reluctantly, towards the +doorway. She was obviously a woman of the demi-monde and probably +French. As she reached the door she turned her smart, impudent head and +covered Miss Van Tuyn with an appraising look, cold, keen, vicious in +its detached intensity, a look such as only a woman can send to another +woman. + +Then she went out, followed by Raoul, who seemed rather agitated, and +whose back looked appealing. + +"Black hair with blue lights in it!" said Garstin. "What a beauty!" + +Miss Van Tuyn sighed. + +"Why wouldn't she stay?" + +He was still sitting half turned towards the door. + +"A table with flowers all ready for her! And she goes! Was she alone? +Ah--who was with her?" + +"Arabian!" said Miss Van Tuyn, coldly. + +"And he--" + +"He saw us!" + +"And took her away! What a lark! Too timid to face us! The naughty boy +caught out in an escapade! I'll chaff him to-morrow. All their dinner +wasted, and I'll bet it was a good one." + +He chuckled over his wine. + +"Did he know that you saw him?" + +"I don't know. He was behind her. He barely showed himself, saw us and +vanished. He must have called to her, beckoned from the hall. She went +quite up to the table." + +"So--you've taught him timidity! He doesn't want you to know of his +under life." + +"Oh, for heaven's sake let us talk of something else!" said Miss Van +Tuyn, with an almost passionate note of exasperation. "You bore me, +bore me, bore me with this man! He seems becoming an obsession with you. +Paint him, for God's sake, and then let there be an end of him as far as +we are concerned. There are lots of other men better-looking than he is. +But once you have taken an idea into your head there is no peace until +you have worked it out on canvas. Genius it may be, but it's terribly +tiresome to everyone about you. Paint the man--and then let him sink +back into the depths!" + +"Like a sea monster, eh?" + +"He is horrible. I always knew it." + +"Come, now! You told me--" + +"It doesn't matter what I told you. He is horrible." + +"What! Just because he comes out to dine with a pretty girl of a certain +class? I had no idea you were such a Puritan. Raoul!" + +"M'sieu!" + +Garstin was evidently enjoying himself. + +"I know those women! Arabian's catching it like the devil in Conduit +Street. She's giving him something he'll remember." + +"No!" said Miss Van Tuyn, with hard emphasis. + +"What d'you mean?" + +"I mean that Arabian is the sort of man who can frighten women. Now if +you don't talk of something else I shall leave you here alone. Another +word on that subject and I go!" + +"Tell me, Beryl. What do you really think of Wyndham Lewis? You know his +portrait of Ezra Pound?" + +"Of course I do." + +"Don't you think it's a masterpiece?" + +"Do you? I can never get at your real ideas about modern painting." + +"And I thought I wore them all down in my own pictures." + +"You certainly don't sit on the fence when you paint." + +And then they talked pictures. Perhaps Garstin at that moment for once +laid himself out to be charming. He could fascinate Miss Van Tuyn's mind +when he chose. She respected his brain. It could lure her. As a worker +she secretly almost loved Garstin, and she believed that the world would +remember him when he was gone to the shadows and the dust. + +Two champagne bottles had been emptied when they got up to go. The +little room was deserted and had a look of being settled in for the +night. Raoul took his tip and yawned behind his big yellow hand. As Miss +Van Tuyn was about to leave the restaurant he bent down to the floor and +picked up a paper which had fallen against the wall near her seat. + +"Madame--" he began. + +Miss Van Tuyn, who was on her way to the door, did not hear him, and +Garstin swiftly and softly took the paper and slipped it into the pocket +of his overcoat. When he had said good-bye to Beryl he went back to +Glebe Place. He mounted the stairs to the studio on the first floor, +turned on the lights, went to the Spanish cabinet, poured himself out a +drink, lit one of the black cigars, then sat down in a worn arm-chair, +put his feet on the sofa, and unfolded _The Westminster Gazette_. What +had she been reading so intently? What was it in the paper that had got +on her nerves? + +The political news, the weather, the leading article, notes, reviews of +new books. He looked carefully at each of the reviews. Not there! Then +he began to read the news of the day, but found nothing which seemed +to him capable of gripping Beryl's attention. Finally, he turned to the +last page but one of the paper, saw the heading, "Our Paris Letter," and +gave the thrush's call softly. Paris--Beryl! This was sure to be it. +He began to read, and almost immediately was absorbed. His brows +contracted, his lips went up towards his long, hooked nose. A strong +light shone in his hard, intelligent eyes, eyes surely endowed with the +power to pierce into hidden places. Presently he put the paper down. So +that was it! That was why Beryl had been so startled when he touched her +in the restaurant! + +He got up and walked to the easel on which was the new sketch for +Arabian's portrait, stood before it and looked at it for a very long +time. And all the time he stood there what he had just read was in his +mind. Fear! The fascination of fear! There were women who could only +love what they could also fear. Perhaps Beryl was one of them. Perhaps +underneath all her audacity, her self-possession, her "damned cheek," +her abnormal vanity, there was the thing that could shrink, and quiver, +and love the brute. + +Was that her secret? And his? Arabian's? + +Garstin threw himself down presently and looked at the paper again. +The article which he felt sure had gripped Miss Van Tuyn's attention +described a new play which had just made a sensation in Paris. A woman, +apparently courageous almost to hardness, self-engrossed, beautiful +and cold, became in this play fascinated by a man about whom she knew +nothing, whom she did not understand, who was not in her circle of +society, who knew none of her friends, who came from she knew not where. +Her instinct hinted to her that there was in him something abominable. +She distrusted him. She was even afraid of him. But he made an enormous +impression upon her. And she said of him to a man who warned her against +him, "But he means a great deal to me and other men mean little or +nothing. There is something in him which speaks to me and in others +there is nothing but silence. There is something in him which leads me +along a path and others leave me standing where I am." + +Eventually, against the warning of her own instinct, and, as it were, in +spite of herself, she gave herself up to the man, and after a very short +association with him--only a few days--he strangled her. She had a long +and very beautiful neck. Hidden in him was a homicidal tendency. +Her throat had drawn his hands, and, behind his hands, him. And she? +Apparently she had been drawn to the murderer hidden in him, to the +strong, ruthless, terribly intent, crouching thing that wanted to +destroy her. + +As the writer of the article pointed out, the play was a Grand Guignol +piece produced away from its proper environment. It was called _The Lure +of Destruction_. + +How Beryl had started when a hand had touched her in the restaurant! And +how angry she had been afterwards! Garstin smiled as he remembered +her anger. But she had looked wonderful. She might be worth painting +presently. He did not really care to paint a Ceres. But she was rapidly +losing the Ceres look. + +Before he went to bed he again stood in front of the scarcely begun +sketch for the portrait of Arabian, and looked at it for a long time. +His face became grim and set as he looked. Presently he moved his lips +as if he were saying something to a listener within. And the listener +heard: + +"In the underworld--but is the fellow a king?" + + + +CHAPTER III + +Francis Braybrooke was pleased. Young Craven and Beryl were evidently +"drawing together" now Adela Sellingworth was happily out of the way. +He heard of them dining together at the _Bella Napoli_, playing golf +together at Beaconsfield--or was it Chorley Wood? He was not quite sure. +He heard of young Craven being seen at Claridge's going up in the lift +to Miss Van Tuyn's floor. All this was very encouraging. Braybrooke's +former fears were swept away and his confidence in his social sense was +re-established upon its throne. Evidently he had been quite mistaken, +and there had been nothing in that odd friendship with Adela +Sellingworth. This would teach him not to let himself go to suspicion in +the future. + +He still did not know where Lady Sellingworth was. Nothing had appeared +in the _Morning Post_ about her movements. Nobody seemed to know +anything about her. He met various members of the "old guard" and made +inquiry, but "Haven't an idea" was the invariable reply. Even, and +this was strangest of all, Seymour Portman did not know where she was. +Braybrooke met him one day at the Marlborough and spoke of the matter, +and Seymour Portman, with his most self-contained and reserved manner, +replied that he believed Lady Sellingworth had gone abroad to "take a +rest," but that he was not sure where she was "at the moment." She was +probably moving about. + +Why should she take a rest? She never did anything specially laborious. +It really was quite mysterious. One day Braybrooke inquired discreetly +in Berkeley Square, alleging a desire to communicate with Lady +Sellingworth about a charity bazaar in which he was interested; but the +footman did not know where her ladyship was or when she was coming back +to town. And still letters were not being forwarded. + +Meanwhile Fanny Cronin felt that Paris was drifting quite out of her +ken. The autumn was deepening. The first fogs of winter had made a +premature appearance, and the spell of the Wallace Collection was +evidently as strong as ever on Beryl. But was it the Wallace Collection? +Miss Cronin never knew much about what Beryl was doing. Still, she was +a woman and had her instincts, rudimentary though they were. Mr. +Braybrooke must certainly have received his conge. Mrs. Clem Hodson +quite agreed with Miss Cronin on that point. Beryl had probably refused +the poor foolish old man that day at the Ritz when there had been that +unpleasant dispute about the plum cake. But now there was this Mr. +Craven! Miss Cronin had found him once with Beryl in the latter's +sitting-room; she had reason to believe they had played golf together. +The young man was certainly handsome. And then Beryl had seemed quite +altered just lately. Her temper was decidedly uncertain. She was +unusually restless and preoccupied. Twice she had been exceedingly cross +about Bourget. And she looked different, too; even Suzanne Hodson had +noticed it. There was something in her face--"a sort of look," Miss +Cronin called it, with an apt feeling for the choice of words--which was +new and alarming. Mrs. Clem declared that Beryl had the expression of a +woman who was crazy about a man. + +"It's the eyes and the cheek-bones that tell the tale, Fanny!" she +had observed. "They can't deceive a woman. Don't talk to me about the +Wallace Collection." + +Poor Miss Cronin was very uneasy. The future looked almost as dark as +the London days. As she lay upon the French bed, or reclined upon the +sofa, or sat deep in her arm-chair, she envisaged an awful change, when +the Avenue Henri Martin would know her no more, when she might have to +return to the lair in Philadelphia from which Miss Van Tuyn had summoned +her to take charge of Beryl. + +One day, when she was almost brooding over the fire, between five and +six o'clock in the afternoon, the door opened and Beryl appeared. She +had been out since eleven in the morning. But that was nothing new. She +went out very often about half-past ten and scarcely ever came back to +lunch. + +"Fanny!" she said. "I want you." + +"What is it, dear?" said Miss Cronin, sitting forward a little in her +chair and laying aside her book. + +"I've brought back a friend, and I want you to know him. Come into my +sitting-room." + +Miss Cronin got up obediently and remembering Mrs. Clem's words, looked +at Beryl's cheek-bones and eyes. + +"Is it Mr. Craven?" she asked in a quavering voice. + +"Mr. Craven--no! You know him already." + +"I have seen him once, dear." + +"Come along!" + +Miss Cronin followed her into the lobby. The door of the sitting-room +was open, and by the fire was standing a stalwart-looking man in a dark +blue overcoat. As Miss Cronin came in he gazed at her, and she thought +she had never before seen such a pair of matching brown eyes. Beryl +introduced him as Mr. Arabian. + +The stranger bowed, and then pressed Miss Cronin's freckled right hand +gently, but strongly too. + +"I have been hoping to meet you," he said, in a strong but gentle voice +which had, Miss Cronin thought, almost caressing inflexions. + +"Very glad to meet you, indeed!" said the companion. + +"Yes. Miss Van Tuyn has told me what you are to her." + +"Forgive me for a minute!" said Miss Van Tuyn. "I must take off my +things. They all feel as if they were full of fog. Fanny, entertain Mr. +Arabian until I come back. But don't talk about Bourget. He's never read +Bourget, I'm sure." + +She looked at Fanny Cronin and went out of the room. And in that +look old Fanny, slow in the uptake though she undoubtedly was, read a +tremendous piece of news. + +This must be the Wallace Collection! + +That was how her mind put it. This must be the great reason of Beryl's +lingering in London, this total stranger of whom she had never heard +till this moment. Her instinct had not deceived her. Beryl had at last +fallen in love. And probably Mr. Braybrooke had been aware of it when he +had called that afternoon and talked so persistently about the changes +and chances of life. In that case Miss Cronin had wronged him. And he +had perhaps come to plead the cause of another. + +"The weather--it is really terrible, is it not? You are wise to stay in +the warm." + +So the conversation began between Miss Cronin and Arabian, and it +continued for quite a quarter of an hour. Then Miss Van Tuyn came back +in a tea gown, looking lovely with her uncovered hair and her shining, +excited eyes, and some twenty minutes later Arabian went away. + +When he had gone Miss Van Tuyn said carelessly: + +"Fanny, darling, what do you think of him?" + +Fanny, darling! That was not Beryl's usual way of putting things. Miss +Cronin was much shaken. She felt the ground of her life, as it were, +rocking beneath her feet, and yet she answered--she could not help it: + +"I think Mr. Arabian is the most--the most--he is fascinating. He is a +charming man. And how very good-looking!" + +"Yes, he's a handsome fellow. And so you liked him?" + +"No one has ever been so charming to me as he was--that I can remember. +He must have a most sympathetic make-up. Who is he?" + +"A friend of Dick Garstin, the painter. And so he attracted you?" + +"I think him certainly most attractive. I should imagine he must have +a very kind heart. There is something almost childlike about him, so +simple!" + +"So--so you find nothing repellent in him?" + +"Repellent!" said Miss Cronin, almost with fear. "Do you mean to +say--then don't you like him?" + +"I like him well enough. But, as you ought to know, I'm not given to +raving about men." + +"Well," said Miss Cronin almost severely, "Mr. Arabian--Is that his true +name?" + +"Yes. I told you so." + +"It's such an odd name! Mr. Arabian is a most kind and warm-hearted man. +I am certain of that. And he is not above being charming and thoughtful +to an ordinary old woman like me. He understands me, and that shows he +has sympathy. I am sure Suzanne would like him too." + +"Really, you quite rave about him!" said Miss Van Tuyn, with a light +touch of sarcasm. + +But her eyes looked pleased, and that evening she was exceptionally kind +to old Fanny. + +She had not yet brought Arabian and Alick Craven together. Somehow she +shrank from that far more than she had shrunk from the test with Fanny. +Craven was very English, and Englishmen are apt to be intolerant about +men of other nations. And Craven was a man, and apparently was beginning +to like her very much. He would not be a fair judge. Undoubtedly he +would be prejudiced. + +And at this point in her mental communings Miss Van Tuyn realized that +she was losing her independence of mind. What did it matter if Fanny +thought this and Alick Craven that? What did it matter what anyone +thought but herself? + +But she was surely confused, was walking in the clouds. Dick Garstin +had given her a lead that night of the meeting of the Georgians. She had +certainly been affected by his words. Perhaps he had even infected her +with his thought. Thought can infect, and Garstin had a powerful mind. +And now she was seeking to oppose to Garstin's thought the opinion of +others. How terribly weak that was! And she had always prided herself on +her strength. She was startled, even angered, by the change in herself. + +Her connexion with Craven was peculiar. + +Ever since Lady Sellingworth's abrupt departure from England he had +persistently sought her out, had shown a sort of almost obstinate +desire to be in her company. Remembering what had happened when Lady +Sellingworth was still in Berkeley Square, Miss Van Tuyn had been on +her guard. Craven had hurt her vanity once. She did not quite understand +him. She suspected him of peculiarity. She even wondered whether he had +had a quarrel with Adela which had been concealed from her, and which +might account for Adela's departure and for Craven's present assiduity. +Possibly, but for one reason, her injured vanity would have kept Craven +at a distance--at any rate, for a time. It would have been pleasant to +deal out suitable punishment to one who certainly deserved it. But there +was the reason for the taking of the other course--Arabian. + +An obscure instinct drove her into intimacy with Craven because of +Arabian. She was not sure that she wanted Craven just now, but she might +want him, perhaps very much, later. She knew he was not really in love +with her, but they were beginning to get on well together. He +admired her; she held out a hand to his youth. There was something of +comradeship in their association. And their minds understood each other +rather well, she thought. For they were both genuinely interested in the +arts, though neither of them was an artist. And she felt very safe +with Alick Craven. So she forgave Craven for his behaviour with Adela +Sellingworth. She let him off his punishment. She relied upon him as +her friend. And she needed to rely upon someone. For the calm +self-possession of her nature was beginning to be seriously affected. +She was losing some of her hitherto immense self-assurance. Her faith in +the coolness and dominating strength of her own temperament was shaken. + +Arabian troubled her increasingly. + +That night at the restaurant in Conduit Street she had felt that she +hated him, and when she had left Garstin she had realized something, +that the measure of her nervous hatred was the measure of something +else. Why should she mind what Arabian did? What was his way of life +to her? Other men could do what they chose and her well-poised, +well-disciplined brain retained its normal calm. So long as they gave +her the admiration which her vanity needed, she was not persecuted by +any undue anxieties about the secret conduct of their lives. But she +was tormented by the memory of that girl in the restaurant. And she +remembered the conversation about jealousy round the dinner table at the +Carlton. She was jealous now. That was why she had been so angry with +Garstin. That was why she had lain awake that night. + +And yet the next morning she had gone to the studio in Glebe Place. She +had greeted Arabian as usual. She had never let him know that she had +seen him in the restaurant, and she had persuaded Dick Garstin to say +nothing about it. No doubt Arabian supposed that he had been too quick +for them, and that they did not know he was with the woman who had come +in and had almost immediately gone out. + +But since that night Miss Van Tuyn had been persecuted by a secret +jealousy such as she had never known till now. + +Let him sink back to the depths! She had said that, but she did not +want him to disappear out of her life. She had said, too, that he +was horrible. The words were spoken in a moment of intense nervous +irritation. But were they true? She thought of him as a night bird. Yet +she brought him to Claridge's and introduced him to Fanny, and sought +Fanny's opinion of him, and been pleased that it was favourable. And +she saw him almost daily. And she knew she would go on seeing him +till--what? + +She could not foresee the end of this adventure brought about by her +own audacious wilfulness. Some day she supposed Dick Garstin would be +satisfied with his work. A successful portrait of Arabian would stand on +the easel in Glebe Place. Garstin was not at all satisfied yet. She knew +that. He had put aside two more beginnings angrily, had started again, +had paused, taken up other work, taken a rest, sent for Arabian once +more. But this strange impotence of Garstin to satisfy himself would +surely not last for ever. Either he would succeed, or he would abandon +the attempt to succeed, or--a third possibility presented itself to Miss +Van Tuyn's mind--his model would get tired of the conflict and refuse to +"sit" any more. + +And then--the depths? + +Till now Arabian's patience had been remarkable. Evidently Garstin's +obstinacy was matched by an obstinacy in him. Although he had once +perhaps been secretly reluctant to sit, had been tempted to become +Garstin's model by the promise of the finished picture, he now +seemed determined to do his part, endured Garstin's irritability, +dissatisfaction, abandoned and renewed attempts to "make a first-rate +job of him" with remarkable good temper. He was evidently resolved not +to give up this enterprise without his reward. There was fixed purpose +in his patience. + +"By God he's a stayer!" Garstin had said of him in a puffing breath one +day when the palette knife had been angrily used once more. "Either he's +waiting for the money value of a portrait by me like a cat for a mouse, +or he's afraid of the finish." + +"Why?" Miss Van Tuyn had asked. + +"Well, you're in the thing! Perhaps he's afraid that when he says +good-bye to my studio he says good-bye to you too. Or perhaps the +two reasons govern him--love of money, love of woman. Anyhow he's a +sticker!" + +"He only wants the picture," she had said. + +But that remark had been made for the benefit of Garstin. By this time +she knew that Arabian had a further purpose, and that it was connected +with herself. She was sure that he was intent on her. And she wondered +very much what he would do when at last the picture was finished. Surely +then something definite must happen. She both longed for and dreaded +that moment. She knew Garstin, and she knew that once he had achieved +what he was trying--"sweating blood," he called it--to achieve his +interest in Arabian would almost certainly cease. Arabian would then +be nothing but used material of no more value in Garstin's life. The +picture would be exhibited, and then handed over to Arabian, and Garstin +would be off on some other track. + +She had now been with Arabian probably as many times as she had been +with Craven. Yet she thoroughly understood the essential qualities of +the Englishman, or believed that she did, and she still knew very little +about Arabian. She did not even know what race he belonged to. He had +evidently travelled a great deal. Sometimes he casually mentioned having +been here or there. He spoke of America as one who had often been in New +York. Once he had mentioned San Francisco as if he were very familiar +with it. Miss Van Tuyn had relatives there, and had asked him if he knew +them. But he had not known them. Whom did he know? She often wondered. +He must know somebody besides that horrible girl she had seen for a +moment in the restaurant in Conduit Street. But she did not like to ask +him direct questions. To do that would be to show too much interest in +him. And something else, too, prevented her from questioning him. She +had no faith in his word. She felt that he was a man who would say +anything which suited his purpose. She had never caught him out in a +direct lie, but she was quite certain he would not mind telling one. Of +course she had often known men about whom she knew really very +little. But she could not remember ever having known a man about whose +character, position, education and former life she was so ignorant as +she was about Arabian's. + +He was still a vague sort of Cosmopolitan to her, a floating foreign man +whom she could not place. He was still the magnificent mongrel belonging +to no known breed. + +Certain things about him she did know, however. She knew he was at +present living at the Charing Cross Hotel, though he said he was looking +for a flat in the West End. He spoke several languages; certainly +English, French, German and Spanish. He had some knowledge of +horseflesh, and evidently took an interest in racing. He seemed +interested, too, in finance. And he played the piano and sang. + +That gift of his had surprised her. One day in the studio, when Garstin +had finished painting, and they had lingered smoking and talking, the +conversation had turned on music, and Garstin, who had some knowledge of +all the arts, had spoken about Stravinsky, whom he knew, and whose music +he professed to understand. Miss Van Tuyn had joined in, and had given +her view on _Le Sacre du Printemps_, _The Nightingale_, and other works. +Arabian had sat smoking in discreet silence, till she had said to him +bluntly: + +"Do you care about music?" + +And then Arabian had said that he was very fond of music, and played and +sang a little himself, but that he had been too lazy to study seriously +and had an uneducated ear. + +Garstin had told him bluntly to go to the piano and show them what he +could do. And Arabian had surprised Miss Van Tuyn by at once complying +with this request, which had sounded like an order. + +His performance had been the sort of thing she, having "advanced" views +on musical matters, was generally inclined to sneer at or avoid. He had +played two or three coon songs and a tango. But there had been in his +playing a sheer "musicalness," as she had called it afterwards, which +had enticed her almost against her will. And when he had sung some +little Spanish songs she had been conquered, though she had not said so. + +His voice was a warm and soft tenor, and he had sung very naturally, +carelessly almost. But everything had been just right. When he had +stolen time, when he had given it back, the stealing and repayment had +been right. His expression had been charming and not overdone. There had +been at moments a delightful impudence in his singing. The touches of +tenderness had been light as a feather, but they had had real meaning. +Through his last song he had kept a cigarette alight in his mouth. He +had merely hummed the melody, but it had been quite delicious. Even +Garstin had approved, and had said: "The stuff was sheer rot, but it was +like a palm tree singing." + +And then Arabian had given them a piece of information. + +"I was brought up among palm trees." + +"Florida?" Garstin had said. + +But somehow the question had not been answered. Perhaps she--Beryl--had +spoken just then. She was not sure. But she had been "got at" by the +music. And at that moment she had realized why Arabian was dangerous +to her. Not only his looks appealed to her. He had other, more secret +weapons. Charm, suppleness of temperament, heat and desire were his. +Otherwise he could not have sung and played that rubbish as he had done. + +That day, later on, he had not actually said, but had implied that some +Spanish blood ran in his veins. + +"But I belong to no country," he had added quickly. "I am a _gamin_ of +the world." + +"Not a citizen?" she had said. + +"No; I am the eternal _gamin_. I shall never be anything else." + +All very well! But at moments she was convinced that there was a very +hard and a very wary man in Arabian. + +Perhaps sitting under the singing palm tree there was a savage! + +She wanted to know what Arabian was. She began to feel that she must +know. For, in spite of her ignorance, their intimacy was deepening. And +now people were beginning to talk. Although she had been so careful not +to show herself with Arabian in any smart restaurants, not to walk with +him in the more frequented parts of the West End, they had been seen +together. On the day when she had brought him to Claridge's some +American friends had seen them pass through the hall, and afterwards +had asked her who he was. Another day, when she was coming away with him +from the studio, she had met Lady Archie Brooke at the corner of Glebe +Place. She had not stopped to speak. But Lady Archie had stared at +Arabian. And Miss Van Tuyn knew what that meant. The "old guard" would +be told of Beryl's wonderful new man. + +She felt nervously sensitive about Arabian. And yet she had been about +Paris with all sorts of men, and had not cared what people had thought +or said. But those men had been clever, workers in the arts, men with +names that were known, or that would be known presently. Arabian was +different. She felt oddly shy about being seen with him. Her audacity +seemed fading away in her. She realized that and felt alarmed. If only +she knew something definite about Arabian, who he was, what his people +were, where he came from, she would feel much easier. She began to +worry about the matter. She lay awake at night. At moments a sort of +desperation came upon her like a wave. Sometimes she said to herself, "I +wish I had never met him." And yet she knew that she did not want to get +rid of him. But she wished no one to know of her friendship; with this +man--if it were a friendship. + +Garstin was watching her through it all. She hated his eyes. He did not +care what was happening to her. He only cared what appearance it caused; +how it affected her eyes, her manner, her expression, the line of her +mouth, the movements of her hands. He had said that she was waking up. +But--to what? + +All this time she seemed to be aware of an almost fatal growing +intention in Arabian. Nevertheless, he waited. She had never been able +to forget the article she had read in the _Westminster Gazette_. When +she had read about the woman in the play she had instinctively compared +herself with that woman. And then something in her revolted. She had +thought of it as her Americanism, which loathed the idea of slavery in +any form. But nevertheless, she had been aware of alarming possibilities +within her. She was able to understand the woman in the play. And that +must surely be because she was obscurely akin to her. And she knew that +when she had read the article the man in the play had made her think +of Arabian. That, of course, was absurd. But she understood why it was. +That woman had been attracted by a man of whom she knew nothing. She, +Beryl Van Tuyn, was in the same situation. But of course she did not +compare poor Arabian in her mind with a homicidal maniac. + +He was gentle and charming. Old Fanny liked him immensely, said he had a +kind heart. And Fanny was sensitive. + +Yet again she thought of the savage sitting under the palm tree and of +Dick Garstin's allusion to a king in the underworld. + +She resented being worried. She resented having her nerves on edge. +She was angry with Dick Garstin, and even angry with herself. In bed +at night, when she could not sleep, she read books on New Thought, +and tried to learn how to govern her mind and to control her thought +processes. But she was not successful in the attempt. Her mind +continually went to Arabian, and then she was filled with anxiety, +with suspicion, with jealousy, and with a strange sort of longing +mysteriously combined with repulsion and dread. And underneath all her +feelings and thoughts there was a basic excitement which troubled her +and which she could not get rid of. + +One morning she got up full of restlessness. That day Dick Garstin was +not painting. It was a Sunday, and he had gone into the country to stay +with some friends. Miss Van Tuyn had made no arrangement to see Arabian. +Indeed, she never saw him except on the painting days, for she still +kept up the pretence that he was merely an acquaintance, and that she +only met him because of her interest in Garstin's work and her wish to +learn more of the technique of painting. The day was free before her. +She went to the telephone and called up Alick Craven. + +It was a fine morning, cold and crisp, with a pale sun. She longed to be +out of town, and she suggested to Craven to join her in hiring a Daimler +car, to run down to Rye, and to have a round of golf on the difficult +course by the sea. She had a friend close to Rye who would introduce +them as visiting players. They would take a hamper and lunch in the car +on the way down. + +Craven agreed with apparent eagerness. By ten they were off. Soon after +one they were on the links. They played the full round, eighteen holes, +and Craven beat her. Then they had tea in the house below the club-house +on the left-hand side of the road as you go towards Camber Sands. + +After tea Miss Van Tuyn suggested running a little farther on in the car +and taking a walk on the sands before starting on the journey back to +London. + +"I love hard sands and the wind and the lines upon lines of surf!" she +said. "The wind blows away some of my civilization." + +"I know!" said Craven, looking at her with admiration. + +He liked her strength and energy, the indefatigable youth of her. + +"_En route!_" + +Soon the car stopped. They got out, and over the sandy hill, with its +rough sea-grasses, they made their way to the sands. + +The tide was low. There was room and to spare on the hard, level +expanse. Lines of white surf stretched to right and left far as the eyes +could see. The piercing cries of the gulls floating on the eddying wind +were relieved against the blooming diapason of the sea. And the solitude +was as the solitude of some lost island of the main. They descended, +sinking in the loose, fine sand of the banks, and the soft, pale sand +that edged them, and made their way to the yellow and vast sands that +extended to the calling monster, whose voice filled their ears, +and seemed to be summoning them persistently, with an almost tragic +arrogance, away from all they knew, from all that was trying to hold +and keep them, to the unknown, to the big things that lie always far off +over the edge of the horizon. + +"Let us turn our backs on Rye!" said the girl. + +They swung round with the wind behind them, and walked on easily side by +side, helped by the firm and delicate floor under their feet. + +She was wearing a wine-coloured "jumper," a short skirt of a rough +heathery material, a small brown hat pinned low on her head, pressed +down on her smooth forehead. Her cheeks were glowing. The wind sent the +red to them. She stepped along with a free, strongly athletic movement. +There was a hint of the Amazon in her. On her white neck some wisps +of light yellow hair, loosened by the wind's fingers, quivered as if +separately alive and wilful with energy. + +Craven, striding along in knickerbockers beside her, felt the animal +charm of her as he had never felt it in London. She had thrust her +gloves away in some hidden pocket. Her right hand grasped a stick +firmly. The white showed at the knuckles. He felt through her silence +that she was giving herself heart and soul to the spirit of the place, +to the sweeping touch of the wind, to the eternal sound in the voice of +the sea. + +They walked on for a long time into the far away. There was a dull lemon +light over the sea pushing through the grey, hinting at sunset. A +flock of gulls tripped jauntily on some wet sand near to them, in +which radiance from the sky was mysteriously retained. A film of moving +moisture from the sea spread from the nearest surf edge, herald of the +turning tide. Miss Van Tuyn raised her arms, shook them, cried out with +all her force. And the gulls rose, easily, strongly, and flew insolently +towards their element. + +"Let us turn!" she said. + +"All right!" + +Those were the first words they had spoken. + +"Let us go and sit down in a sand-bank and see the twilight come." + +"Yes." + +They sat down presently among the spear-like blades of the spiky grass, +facing the tides and the evening sky, and Craven, with some difficulty, +lit his pipe and persuaded it to draw, while she looked at his +long-fingered brown hands. + +"I couldn't sit here with some people I know," she said. "Desolation +like this needs the right companion. Isn't it odd how some people are +only for certain places?" + +"And I suppose _the_ one person is for all places." + +"Do you feel at home with me here?" she asked him, rather abruptly and +with a searching look at him. + +"Yes, quite--since our game. A good game is a link, isn't it?" + +"For bodies." + +"Well, that means a good deal. We live in the body." + +"Some people marry through games, or hunting. They're the bodily people. +Others marry through the arts. Music pulls them together, or painting, +or literature. They are mental." + +"Bodies--minds! And what about hearts?" asked Craven. + +"The tide's coming in. Hearts? They work in mystery, I believe. I expect +when you love someone who hasn't a taste in common with you your heart +must be hard at work. Perhaps it is only opposites who can really love, +those who don't understand why. If you understand why you are on the +ground, you have no need of wings. Have you ever been afraid of anyone?" + +Craven looked at her with a dawning of surprise. + +"Do you mean of a German soldier, for instance?" he said. + +"No, no! Of course not. Of anyone you have known personally; afraid of +anyone as an individual? That's what I mean." + +"I can't remember that I ever have." + +"Do you think it possible to love someone who inspires you at moments +with unreasoning dread?" + +"No; candidly I don't." + +"I think there can be attraction in repulsion." + +"I should be very sorry for myself if I yielded to such an attraction." + +"Why?" + +"Because I think it would probably lead to disaster." + +"How soberly you speak!" said Miss Van Tuyn, almost with an air of +distaste. + +After a moment of silence she added: + +"I don't believe an Englishman has the power to lose his head." + +Craven sat a little nearer to her. + +"Would you like to see me lose mine?" he asked. + +"I don't say that. But I should like you to be able to." + +"And you? You are an American girl. Don't you pride yourself on your +coolness, your self-control, your power to deal with any situation? If +Englishmen are sober minded, what about American women? Do _they_ lose +their heads easily?" + +"No. That's why--" + +She stopped abruptly. + +"What is it you want to say to me? What are you trying to say?" + +"Nothing!" she answered. + +And her voice sounded almost sulky. + +The bar of lemon light over the sea narrowed. Clouds, with gold tinted +edges, were encroaching upon it. The tide had turned, and, because they +knew it, the voice of the sea sounded louder to them. Already they could +imagine those sands by night, could imagine their bleak desolation, +could almost feel the cold thrill of their loneliness. + +Craven stretched out his hand and took one of hers and held it. + +"Why do you do that?" she said. "You don't care for me really." + +He pressed her hand. He wanted to kiss her at that moment. His youth, +the game they had played together, this isolation and nearness, the +oncoming night--they all seemed to be working together, pushing him +towards her mysteriously. But just at that moment on the sands close to +them two dark figures appeared, a fisherman in his Sunday best walking +with his girl. They did not see Miss Van Tuyn and Craven on the +sandbank. With their arms spread round each other's waists, and slightly +lurching in the wind, they walked slowly on, sinking at each step a +little in the sand. Their red faces looked bovine in the twilight. + +Almost mechanically Craven's fingers loosened on Miss Van Tuyn's hand. +She, too, was chilled by this vision of Sunday love, and her hand came +away from his. + +"They are having their Sunday out," she said, with a slight, cold laugh. +"And we have had ours!" + +And she got up and shook the sand grains from her rough skirt. + +"And that's happiness!" she added, almost with a sneer. + +Like him she felt angry and almost tricked, hostile to the working of +sex, vulgarized by the sight of that other drawing together of two human +beings. Oh! the ineptitude of the echoes we are! Now she was irritated +with Craven because he had taken her hand. And yet she had been on the +edge of a great experiment. She knew that Craven did not love her--yet. +Perhaps he would never really love her. Certainly she did not love him. +And yet that day she had come out from London with a desire to take +refuge in him. It almost amounted to that. When they started she had not +known exactly what she was going to do. But she had set Craven, the safe +man, the man whom she could place, could understand, could certainly +trust up to a point, in her mind against Arabian, the unsafe man, +whom she could not place, could not understand, could not trust. +And, mentally, she had clung to Craven. And if those two bovine +sentimentalists had not intruded flat-footed upon the great waste of +Camber and the romance of the coming night, and Craven had yielded to +his impulse and had kissed her, she might have clung to him in very +truth. And then? She might have been protected against Arabian. But +evidently it was not to be. At the critical moment Fate had intervened, +had sent two human puppets to change the atmosphere. + +She had really a sense of Fate upon her as she shook the sand from her +skirt. And the voice of the slowly approaching sea sounded in her ears +like the voice of the inevitable. + +What must be must be. + +The lemon in the sky was fast fading. The gold was dying away from the +edges of the clouds. The long lines of surf mingled together in a +blur of tangled whiteness. She looked for a moment into the gathering +dimness, and she felt a menace in it; she heard a menace in the cry of +the tides. And within herself she seemed to be aware of a menace. + +"It's all there in us, every bit of it!" she said to herself. "That's +the horrible thing. It doesn't come upon us. It's in us." + +And she said to Craven: + +"Come!" + +It was rapidly getting dark. The ground was uneven and rough, the sand +loose and crumbling. + +"Do take my arm!" he said, but rather coldly, with constraint. + +She hesitated, then took it. And the feeling of his arm, which was +strong and muscular, brought back to her that strange desire to use him +as a refuge. + +Somewhat as Lady Sellingworth had thought of Seymour Portman, Beryl Van +Tuyn thought of Craven, who would certainly not have enjoyed knowledge +of it. + +When they had scrambled down to the road, and saw the bright eyes of the +car staring at them from the edge of the marshes, she dropped his arm. + +"How Adela Sellingworth would have enjoyed all this if she had been here +to-day instead of me!" she said. + +"Lady Sellingworth!" said Craven, as if startled. "What made you think +of her just then?" + +"I don't know. Stop a moment!" + +She stood very still. + +"I believe she has come back to London," she said. "Perhaps she sent the +thought to me from Berkeley Square. How long has she been away?" + +"About five weeks, I should think." + +"Would you be glad if she were back?" + +"It would make very little difference to me," he said in a casual voice. +"Now put on your coat." + +He helped her into the car, and they drove away from the sands and the +links, from the sea and their mood by the sea. + +They drove through the darkness towards London, Lady Sellingworth and +Arabian. + + + +CHAPTER IV + +On the following day Miss Van Tuyn, remembering her feeling at Camber in +the twilight, went to the telephone and called up Number 18A, Berkeley +Square. The solemn voice of a butler--she knew at once a butler was +speaking--replied inquiring her business. She gave her name and asked +whether Lady Sellingworth had returned to London. The answer was that +her ladyship had arrived in London from the Continent on Saturday +evening. + +"Please tell her ladyship that her friend, Miss Van Tuyn, will call on +her this afternoon about five o'clock," said Miss Van Tuyn. + +Soon afterwards she put on her hat and fur coat and set off on her way +to Chelsea. + +A little before five she turned into Berkeley Square on foot, coming +from Carlos Place. + +She felt both curious and slightly hostile. She wondered very much why +Adela had gone away so mysteriously; she wondered where Adela had been +and whether she had returned changed. When Miss Van Tuyn had alluded to +the sheaves the thought in her mind had been markedly feminine. It had +occurred to her that Adela might have stolen away to have "things" done +to her; that she might come back to London mysteriously rejuvenated. +Such a thing was possible even at sixty. Miss Van Tuyn had known of +waning beauties who had vanished, and who had returned to the world +looking alarmingly young. Certainly she had never known of a woman as +old in appearance as Adela becoming transformed. Nevertheless in modern +days, when the culture of beauty counts in its service such marvellous +experts, almost all things are possible. If Adela had gone quite mad +about Alick Craven the golden age might be found suddenly domiciled +in Number 18A. Then Adela's intention would be plain. She would have +returned from abroad armed _cap-a-pie_ for conquest. + +The knowledge that Adela was in London had revived in Miss Van Tuyn the +creeping hostility which she had felt before her friend's departure. She +remembered her lonely walk to Soho, what she had seen through the lit-up +window of the _Bella Napoli_. The sensation of ill treatment returned to +her. She would have scorned to acknowledge even to herself that she was +afraid of Adela, that she dreaded Adela's influence on a man. But when +she thought of Craven she was conscious of a strange fluttering of +anxiety. She wanted to keep Craven as a friend. She wanted him to be her +special friend. This he had been, but only since Lady Sellingworth had +been out of London. Now she had come back. Over there shone the light +above the door of the house in which she was at this moment. How would +it be now? + +A hard, resolute look came into Miss Van Tuyn's face as she walked past +the block of flats at the top of the square. She had a definite and +strong feeling that she must keep Craven as her friend, that she might +need him in the future. And of what use is a man who belongs to another +woman? + +Arabian had told her that day that he had found a flat which suited him +in Chelsea looking over the river, and that he was leaving the Charing +Cross Hotel. For some reason the news had startled her. He had spoken in +a casual way, but his eyes had not been casual as they looked into hers. +And she had felt that Arabian had taken a step forward, that he was +moving towards some project with which she was connected in his mind, +and that the taking of this flat was part of the project. + +She must not lose Craven as a friend. If she did she would lose one +on whom she was beginning to rely. Women are of no use in certain +contingencies, and a beautiful woman can seldom thoroughly trust another +woman. Miss Van Tuyn absolutely trusted no woman. But she trusted +Craven. She thought she must be very fond of him. And yet she had +none of the feeling for him which persecuted her now when she was with +Arabian. Arabian drew her in an almost occult way. She felt his tug like +the mysterious tug of water when one stands near a weir in a river. When +she was with him she sometimes had a physical impulse to lean backward. +And that came because of another strong and opposing impulse which +seemed mental. + +Adela should not entice Craven back to her. She was long past the age +of needing trusty comrades and possible helpers, in Beryl's opinion. +Whatever she did, or hoped, or wanted, or strove for, life was really +over for her, the life that is life, with its unsuspected turns, and +intrigues, and passions and startling occurrences. Even if for a time +such a man as Craven were hypnotized by a woman's strong will-power, +such an unnatural condition could not possibly last. But Beryl made +up her mind that she would not suffer even a short interim of power +exercised by Adela. Even for poor Adela's own sake such an interim was +undesirable. It would only lead to suffering. And while it lasted she, +Beryl, might need something and lack it. That must not be. Adela was +finished, and she must learn to understand that she was finished. No +woman ought to seek to prolong her reign beyond a certain age. If Adela +had come back with her sheaves they must be resolutely scattered to the +winds--by somebody. + +Arabian had taken a flat in Chelsea looking over the river. Evidently he +was going to settle down in London. + +"But I live in Paris!" thought Miss Van Tuyn, as she pushed Lady +Sellingworth's bell. + +Her ladyship was at home, and Miss Van Tuyn mounted the stairs full of +expectation. + +When she came into the big drawing-room she noticed at once how dimly +lit it was. Besides the firelight there was only one electric lamp +turned on, and that was protected by a rather large shade, and stood on +a table at some distance from Lady Sellingworth's sofa. A tall figure +got up from this sofa as Miss Van Tuyn made her way towards the fire, +and the well-remembered and very individual husky voice said: + +"Dear Beryl! It's good of you to come to see me so soon. I only arrived +on Saturday." + +"Dearest! How dark it is! I can scarcely see you." + +"I love to give the firelight a chance. Didn't you know that? Come and +sit down and tell me what you have been doing. You have quite given up +Paris?" + +"Yes, for the time. I've become engrossed in painting. Dick Garstin has +given me the run of his studio. But where have you been?" + +As she put the question Miss Van Tuyn looked closely at her friend, and, +in spite of the dimness, she noticed a difference in her appearance. +The white hair still crowned the beautifully shaped head, but it looked +thicker, more alive than formerly. The change which struck her most, +however, was in the appearance of the face. It seemed, she thought, +markedly younger and fresher, smoother than she remembered it, firmer +in texture. Surely some, many even, of the wrinkles had disappeared. And +the lips, once so pale and weary, were rosy now--if the light was not +deceiving her. The invariable black dress, too, had vanished. Adela wore +a lovely gown of a deep violet colour and had a violet band in her +hair. She sat very upright. Her tall figure seemed almost braced up. +And surely she looked less absolutely natural than usual. There +was something--a slight hardness, perhaps, a touch of conscious +imperviousness in look and manner, a watchful something--which made Miss +Van Tuyn for a moment think of a photograph she had seen on a member of +the "old guard's" table. + +The sheaves! The sheaves! + +But the girl longed for more light. She knew she was not deceived +entirely by the dimness, but she longed for crude revelation. Already +her mind was busily at work on the future. She felt, although she +had only been in the room for two or three minutes, that the Lady +Sellingworth who had just come back to London must presently be her +enemy. And she wished to get in the first blow, since blows there would +have to be. + +"Where have I been?" said Lady Sellingworth. "In the place of the +swans--in Geneva." + +"Geneva! We thought you had gone to the Riviera, probably to Cap +Martin." + +"I did go to the Riviera first." + +"It must have been a desert." + +"Not quite. Cannes would have been quite pleasant. But I had to go on to +Geneva to see a friend." + +Miss Van Tuyn thought of Lausanne, of doctors. Many women whom she +knew in Paris swore by the doctors of Berne and Lausanne. There were +wonderful treatments now for old women. Extraordinary things were done +with monkey glands and other mysterious preparations and inoculations. +Was not Adela's manner changed? Did she not diffuse an atmosphere of +intention, of vigour, which had not been hers before? Did she not seem +younger? + +"Did you stay long at the Beau Rivage?" she asked. + +"Yes, I did." + +"We have missed you." + +"I like to think that." + +"London loses its most characteristic note for me when you are not in +it." + +Miss Van Tuyn's curiosity was becoming intense, but how could she +gratify it? She sought about for an opening, but found none. For it was +seldom her way to be quite blunt with women, though with men she was +often blunt. + +"Everyone has been wondering where you were," she said. "Mr. Braybrooke +was quite in a turmoil. Does he know you are back?" + +"I haven't told him. But he gets to know everything in less than five +minutes. And what have you been doing?" + +This simple question suddenly gave Miss Van Tuyn the idea for a plan of +campaign. It sprang into her brain, flashed upon it like an inspiration. +For a moment she was rigid. Her body was strongly influenced. Then as +the idea made itself at home in her she became supple and soft again. + +"I've got a lot to tell you," she said, "if you won't be bored." + +"You never bore me, Beryl." + +"No, I don't believe I do. Well, first I must tell you how good Dick +Garstin has been to me." + +"Garstin the painter?" + +"Yes." + +And she enlarged upon her intense interest in painting, her admiration +for Garstin's genius, her curiosity about his methods and aims, her +passion for understanding the arts although she could not create +herself. Lady Sellingworth, who knew the girl's genuine interest in all +art developments, listened quite convinced of Beryl's sincerity. Arabian +was never mentioned. Miss Van Tuyn did not go into details. She spoke +only of models, of Garstin's varying moods, of his way of getting a +thing on to canvas, of his views on colour and technique. + +"It must be absorbingly interesting to watch such a man at work," Lady +Sellingworth said presently. + +"It is. It's fascinating." + +"And so that is the reason why you are staying so long in smoky old +London?" + +"No, Adela, it isn't. At least, that's not the only reason." + +The words were spoken slowly and were followed by a curiously conscious, +almost, indeed, embarrassed look from the girl's violet eyes. + +"No?" + +After a long pause Beryl said: + +"You know I have always looked upon you as a book of wisdom." + +"It's very difficult to be wise," said Lady Sellingworth, with a touch +of bitterness. "And sometimes very dull." + +"But you are wise, dearest. I feel it. You have known and done so +much, and you have had brains to understand, to seek out the truth from +experience. You have lived with understanding. You are not like the +people who travel round the world and come back just the same as if they +had been from Piccadilly Circus to Hampstead Heath and back. One _feels_ +you have been round the world when one is with you." + +"Does one?" said Lady Sellingworth, rather drily. "But I fancied +nowadays the young thought all the wisdom lay with them." + +"Well, I don't. And, besides, I think you are marvellously discreet." + +"Wise! Discreet! I begin to feel as if I ought to sit on the Bench!" + +Again there was the touch of bitterness in the voice. A very faint smile +hovered for an instant about Miss Van Tuyn's lips. + +"Judging the foolish women! Well, I think you are one of the few who +would have a right to do that. You are so marvellously sensible." + +"Anyhow, I have no wish to do it. But--you were going to tell me?" + +"In confidence." + +"Of course. The book of wisdom never opens its leaves to the mob." + +"I want very much to know your opinion of young Alick Craven." + +As she heard the word "young" Lady Sellingworth had great difficulty +in keeping her face still. Her mouth wanted to writhe, to twist to the +left. She had the same intense shooting feeling that had hurt her when +Seymour Portman had called Alick Craven a boy. + +"Of Mr. Craven!" she said, with sudden severe reserve. "Why? Why?" + +Directly she had spoken she regretted the repetition. Her mind felt +stiff, unyielding. And all her body felt stiff too. + +"That's what I want to tell you," said Miss Van Tuyn, speaking with some +apparent embarrassment. + +And immediately Lady Sellingworth knew that she did not want to hear, +that it would be dangerous, almost deadly, for her to hear. She longed +to spread out her hands in the protesting gesture of one keeping +something off, away from her, to say, "Don't! Don't! I won't hear!" And +she sat very still, and murmured a casual "Yes?" + +And then Miss Van Tuyn shot her bolt very cleverly, her aim +being careful and good, her hand steady as a rock, her eyes fixed +undeviatingly on the object she meant to bring down. She consulted +Lady Sellingworth about her great friendship with Craven, told Lady +Sellingworth how for some time, "ever since the night we all went to +the theatre," Craven had been seeking her out persistently, spoke of +his visits, their dinners together, their games of golf at Beaconsfield, +finally came to Sunday, "yesterday." + +"In the morning the telephone rang and we had a little talk. A Daimler +car was suggested and a run down to Rye. You know my American ideas, +Adela. A long day alone in the country with a boy--" + +"Mr. Craven is scarcely a boy, I think!" + +"But we call them boys!" + +"Oh, yes!" + +"With a boy means nothing extraordinary to a girl with my ideas. But I +think he took it rather differently. Anyhow, we spent the whole day out +playing golf together, and in the evening, when twilight was coming on, +we drove to Camber Sands. Do you know them?" + +"No." + +"They are vast and absolutely deserted. It was rather stormy, but we +took a long walk on them, and then sat on a sand bank to watch the night +coming on. I dare say it all sounds very ridiculous and sentimental to +you! I am sure it must!" + +"No, no. Besides, I know you Americans do all these things with no +sentiment at all, merely _pour passer le temps_." + +"Yes, sometimes. But he isn't an American." + +Again she looked slightly embarrassed and seemed to hesitate. + +"You mean--you think that he--?" + +"It was that evening . . . last night only, in fact--" + +"Oh, yes, of course it was last night. To-day is Monday." + +"That I began to realize that we were getting into a rather different +relation to each other. When it began to get dark he wanted to hold my +hand and--but I needn't go into all that. It would only seem silly to +you. You see, we are both young, though, of course, he is older than +I. But he is very young, quite a boy in feeling and even in manner very +often. I have seen him lately in all sorts of circumstances, so I know." + +She stopped as if thinking. Lady Sellingworth sat very upright on her +sofa, with her head held rather high, and her hands, in their long white +gloves, quite still. And there was a moment of absolute silence in the +drawing-room. At last Miss Van Tuyn spoke again. + +"I feel since last night that things are different between Alick and +me." + +"Are you engaged to him--to Mr. Craven?" + +"Oh, no. He hasn't asked me to be. But I want to know what you think of +him. It would help me. I like him very much. But you know far more about +men than I do." + +"I doubt it, Beryl. I see scarcely anyone now. You live in Paris +surrounded by clever men and--" + +"But you have had decades more of experience than I have. In fact, _you_ +have been round the world and I have, so to speak, only crossed the +Channel. Do help me, Adela. I am full of hesitation and doubt, and yet +I am getting very fond of Alick. And I don't want to hurt him. I think I +hurt him a little yesterday, but--" + +"Sir Seymour Portman!" said Murgatroyd's heavy voice at the door. + +And the old courtier entered almost eagerly, his dark eyes shining under +the thatch of eyebrows and the white gleam of the "cauliflower." + +And very soon Miss Van Tuyn went away, without the advice which she was +so anxious to have. As she walked through Berkeley Square she felt +more at ease than when she had come into it. But she was puzzled about +something. And she said to herself: + +"Can she have tried monkey glands too?" + + + +CHAPTER V + +Lady Sellingworth of course understood Beryl's purpose in visiting her +so soon and in being so unreserved to her. The girl's intention was +absolutely clear to her mind horribly experienced in the cruel ways of +women. Nevertheless she believed that Beryl had spoken the truth about +what had happened at Camber. + +When it began to get dark Craven had wanted to hold Beryl's hand. + +Lady Sellingworth felt that she hated Beryl, hated Alick Craven. And +herself? She did not want to contemplate herself. It seemed to her that +she was fastened up with, chained to, a being she longed to ignore, to +be without knowledge of. Something of her was struggling to be away from +something else of her that was hideous. Battle, confusion, dust, dying +cries, flying, terror-stricken feet! She was aware of tumult and despair +in the silence of her beautiful house. And she was aware also of that +slow and terrible creeping of hatred, the thing that did harm to her, +that set her far away from any nobility she possessed. + +She had gone abroad to fight, and had come back having lost her battle. +And already she was being scourged for her failure. + +When she had been striving alone these two had evidently forgotten her +existence. Directly she had passed for a short time out of their lives +they had come together. Youth had instinctively sought out youth, and +she, the old woman, had been as one dead to them. If she had stayed away +for years, if she had never come back, it would not have mattered to +them. + +Beryl's lack of all affection for her did not seriously trouble her. She +knew the dryness of vanity; she knew that it was practically impossible +for a girl so vain as Beryl to care deeply, or at all unselfishly, for +another woman. But Craven's conduct was not what she had looked for. +It seemed to stamp him as typical, and she had supposed him to be +exceptional. When Beryl had told her about Camber--so little and yet so +much--she had been struck to the heart; and yet she had seen a vision of +servants, the footman out in the dark with the under housemaid. + +Seymour Portman's observant old eyes, the terrible eyes of affection, +took in the change in her, not quite as a woman's eyes would have done, +but in their own adequate way. His Adela looked different. Something had +happened to her. The envelope had been touched up in some, to him, quite +mysterious manner. And he did not like it. It even gave him a mild +sort of shock. The touch of artificiality was cold on this amazingly +straightforward old man. He loved his Adela with all the wrinkles, with +the sagging skin, and the lined throat, and the curiously experienced +weariness about the temples. She lived for him in the brilliant eyes, +and was loved by him in them. And why should she suddenly try to change +her appearance? It had certainly not been done for him--this Something. +She was looking handsomer than usual, and yet he seemed to be aware that +beneath the improved surface there was a tragic haggardness which had +come into existence while she had been away. + +He did not reproach her for the mystery of her absence, or for her +silence; he did not ask her questions about where she had been, what +she had done; he just sat with her and loved her. And his love made her +horribly uneasy that day. She could not be still under it. She felt as +if the soul of her kept shifting about, as a child shifts about under +the watchful eyes of an elder. She felt the physical tingle of guilt. +And she was thankful when at last Seymour went away and left her alone +with her hatred. + +All those weeks! She had deliberately left the ground free to Beryl for +all those weeks, and she had returned with no expectation of the thing +that of course had happened. And yet she had believed that she had an +excellent knowledge of life and of human beings. No doubt she had been +so concentrated upon herself, and the struggle within herself that she +had been unable to make any use of that knowledge. And so now she was +full of hatred and of profound humiliation. + +When she had abruptly left England she had made up her mind to "have +done with it," that is to have done with love, to have done even +with sentimental friendship. She had resolved to plunge into complete +loneliness. Since she could not take Seymour into her intimate life, +since she now knew that was absolutely impossible, she must somehow +manage to get along permanently with nothing. And so, yielding to a +desperate impulse, she had resolved to seek an unaccustomed solitude. +She had fled from London. But she had stopped in Paris; although she had +intended to pass through it and to go straight on to Marseilles and the +Riviera. When the train had run in to the Gare du Nord she had told +her surprised maid that she was tired and would not go on that night. +Suddenly she had decided to seek out Caroline Briggs, to make a +confession, to ask for help and sympathy. And she had sent her maid to a +hotel, and had driven to Caroline's house. + +But Caroline was not in Paris. A blue-cheeked, close-shaven French +footman had informed her that his mistress had been obliged to sail for +America three days before. + +It had been a great blow to her. Confession, the cry for help, had been +almost on her lips as she had stood at the door before the keen-eyed +young man. And she had gone away feeling strangely lost and abandoned. + +On the following morning she had left Paris and had travelled to the +Riviera. And, there, she had fought against herself and had lost the +battle. + +Perhaps if she had been able to see Caroline the issue would have been +different. She almost believed that if she had once told the absolute +truth about herself to someone she might have found the courage to +put personal dignity in its right place at the head of her life as the +arbiter of what must not be done. Although she had defied Caroline ten +years ago, and had been punished for her defiance, she still had a deep +belief in Caroline's strength of character and clear insight. And she +knew that Caroline was really fond of her. + +But Fate had removed her friend from her. And was it not because of that +removal that she had lost her battle? The sense of loneliness, of a +cold finality, had been too great for her. She had had too much time +for remembrance. And she had remembered certain hours with Craven by +the fire, had remembered the human warmth of them, till the longing for +happiness had overpowered everything else in her. They had been very +happy together. She had been able to make him happy. His eager eyes had +shown it. And their joy had been quite innocent; there had been no +harm in it at all. Why should she deliberately forego such innocent +contentment? Walking alone on the sea front at Cannes in the warm and +brilliant weather she had asked herself that question. If Craven were +there! And in the long loneliness she had begun presently, as often +before, to try to cheat herself. The drastic heart of London had seemed +to change into another heart. And at last she had followed the example +of a woman in Paris some ten years ago. + +She had as it were got out of the train once more. + +She had not, perhaps, been fully conscious of the terrible repetition +brought about by a temperament which apparently refused to change. +She had no doubt tried to deceive herself though she had not deceived +herself ten years ago at the Gare du Nord. She had even lied to herself, +saying that in London she had given way to a foolish and morbid mood of +fear, induced in her by memories of disasters in the past, that she had +imagined danger where no danger existed. In London panic had seized her. +But now in a different atmosphere and environment, quite alone and able, +therefore, to consider things carefully and quietly, to see them in +their true light, she had told herself that it was preposterous to +give up an innocent joy merely because long ago she had been subject to +folly. Ten years had elapsed since her last fit of folly. She must have +changed since then. It was inevitable that she had changed. She had +lied to herself in London when she had told herself that Craven would be +satisfied in their friendship, while she would be almost starving. Her +subsequent prayer had been answered. Passion was dead in her. A tender, +almost a motherly feeling--that really was what she felt and would +always feel for Alick Craven. She need not fear such a feeling. She +would not fear it. Morbidity had possessed her. The sunshine of Cannes +had driven it away. She had presently been glad that she had not found +Caroline in Paris. For if she had made that confession she would have +put an obstacle in the path which she now resolved to tread. + +She had told herself that, and finally she had decided to return to +London. + +But she had gone first to Geneva, and had put herself there into the +hands of a certain specialist, whose fame had recently reached the ears +of a prominent member of the "old guard," no other than the Duchess of +Wellingborough. + +And now she had come back with her sheaves and had been met on the +threshold by Beryl with her hideous confidences. + +She had not yet told Craven of her return. For the moment she was glad +that she had not given way to her impulse and telephoned to him on +the Sunday. She might have caught him with her message just as he was +starting for Rye with Beryl. That would have been horrible. Of course +she would not telephone to him now. She resolved to ignore him. He had +forgotten all about her. She would seem to forget about him. There was +nothing else to be done. Pride, the pride of the _Grande Dame_ which she +had never totally lost, rose up in her, hot, fiery even; it mingled with +an intense jealousy, and made her wish to inflict punishment. She was +like a wounded animal that longs to strike, to tear with its claws, to +lacerate and leave bleeding. Nevertheless she had no intention of taking +action against either of those who had hurt her. Beryl should have her +triumph. Youth should be left in peace with its own cruelty. + +Two days passed before Craven knew of Lady Sellingworth's return to +Berkeley Square. Braybrooke told him of it in the club, and added the +information that she had arrived on the previous Saturday. + +"Oh!" said Craven, with apparent indifference. "Have you seen her?" + +Braybrooke replied that he had seen her, and that she was looking, in +his opinion, remarkably well, even somewhat younger than usual. + +"She seems to have had an excellent time on the Riviera and in +Switzerland." + +"In Switzerland!" said Craven, thinking of Braybrooke's remarks about +Catherine Bewdley and Lausanne. + +"Yes, but I don't think she has been ill. I ventured to--just to say a +word as to doctors, and she assured me she had been perfectly well all +the time she was away. Are you going to see her?" + +"I've got a good deal to do just now," said Craven, coldly and with a +slight rise of colour. "But of course I hope to see Lady Sellingworth +again some day. She is a charming woman. It's always a pleasure to have +a talk with her." + +"Yes, indeed! By the way, who is Beryl Van Tuyn's extraordinarily +good-looking young friend? Do you happen to know?" + +"What friend?" asked Craven, with sudden sharpness. + +"The tall man she has been seen about with lately." + +"I don't know." + +After a slight pause, very intentional on Braybrooke's part, Craven +replied: + +"Miss Van Tuyn knows such lots of people." + +"To be sure! And Lady Archie, though a dear woman, is perhaps a little +inclined to gossip." + +"Lady Archie Brooke?" + +"Yes. She has met Miss Van Tuyn two or three times in Glebe Place, it +seems, walking with a man whom she describes as a marvel of good looks. +But there's Antring. I must have a word with him. He is just over from +Paris." + +And Braybrooke walked away with his usual discreet gait. He was feeling +decidedly satisfied. Young Craven had certainly not been pleased with +the information so casually imparted. It had aroused--Braybrooke was +convinced of it--a sensation of jealousy which promised well for the +future. Braybrooke was almost sure now that his young friend had +fallen thoroughly in love with Beryl Van Tuyn. The coldness about Adela +Sellingworth, the sudden touch of heat about Beryl Van Tuyn, surely +indicated that. Braybrooke was not seriously upset about Lady Archie's +remarks. She really was a tremendous gossip, although of course a +delightful woman. And Miss Van Tuyn was always surrounded by men. +Nevertheless he was decidedly curious about the good-looking stranger +who had been seen in Glebe Place. He had a retentive memory, and had not +forgotten Dick Garstin's extraordinary remark about the blackmailer. + +Braybrooke was not mistaken about Craven. The information about Adela +Sellingworth had renewed Craven's hot sense of injury. Braybrooke did +not understand that. But the subsequent remark about Beryl Van Tuyn +had added fuel to the fire, and the sharp jealousy of sensitive youth +mingled with the feeling of injury. Craven had been hurt by the elderly +woman. Was he now to be hurt by the girl? Braybrooke's news had made him +feel really angry. Yet he knew he had no right to be angry. He began to +wish that he had never gone to Berkeley Square on that autumn afternoon, +had never met the two women who were beginning to complicate his life. +For a moment he thought of dropping them both. But had not one of them +already dropped him? He would certainly not call again in Berkeley +Square. If Lady Sellingworth did not ask him to go there he would not +attempt to see her. He was not going to fight for her friendship. And +as to Beryl Van Tuyn--The curious name--Nicolas Arabian--came into his +mind and a conversation at a box at a theatre. Miss Van Tuyn had told +him about this magnificently handsome man, this "living bronze," but +somehow he had never thought of her as specially intimate with a fellow +who frequented the Cafe Royal, and who apparently sat as a model to +painters. But now he realized that this must be the man of Glebe Place, +and he felt more angry, more injured than before. + +Yet he was not in love with Beryl Van Tuyn. Or had he fallen in +love with her without being aware of it? She attracted him very much +physically at times. She amused him, interested him. He liked being with +her. He was angry at the thought of another man's intimacy with her. He +wanted her to be fond of him, to need him, to prefer him to all other +men. But he often felt critical about her, about her character, though +not about her beauty. A lover surely could not feel like that. A lover +just loved, and there was an end of it. + +He could not understand his own feelings. But when he thought of Beryl +Van Tuyn he felt full of the fighting instinct, and ready to take +the initiative. He would never fight to retain Lady Sellingworth's +friendship, but he would fight to assert himself with the beautiful +American. She should not take him up and use him merely as a means to +amusement without any care for what was due to him. Lady Sellingworth +was old, and in a sense famous. Such a woman could do as she pleased. +With her, protest would be ridiculous. But he would find a way with +Beryl Van Tuyn. + +On that day and the next Craven did not see Miss Van Tuyn. No message +came to him from Lady Sellingworth. Evidently the latter wished to have +nothing more to do with him. She had now been in London for nearly a +week without letting him know it. Miss Van Tuyn had telephoned once +suggesting a meeting. But Craven had charmingly put her off, alleging a +tiresome engagement. He did not choose now to seem eager to meet her. +He was considering what he would do. If he could manage to meet her +in Glebe Place! But how to contrive such an encounter? While he was +meditating about this he was again rung up by Miss Van Tuyn, who +suggested that he should play golf with her at Beaconsfield on the +following day, Saturday. + +"You can't pretend you are working overtime at the F.O. to-morrow," she +said. + +Craven replied that the F.O. kept him very long even on Saturdays. + +"What's the matter? What are you angry about?" asked Miss Van Tuyn +through the telephone. + +Craven intended to make a quietly evasive reply, but he found himself +saying: + +"If I work overtime at the F.O., are there not others who do much the +same--in Glebe Place?" + +After a pause Miss Van Tuyn said: + +"I haven't an idea what you mean." + +Craven said nothing. Already he was angry with himself, and regretted +his impulsiveness. + +"Well?" said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"Well?" retorted Craven, feeling rather absurd. + +Again there was a pause. Then, speaking quickly, Miss Van Tuyn said: "If +you can escape from the F.O. you might be in Glebe Place about five on +Monday. Good-bye!" + +And she rang off, leaving Craven with the pleasant sensation that, as +often before, he had "given himself away." Certainly he had shown Miss +Van Tuyn his jealousy. She must have guessed what his mention of Glebe +Place meant. And yet she had asked him to go there on the following +Monday. If he did not go perhaps that neglect would cancel his +imprudence at the telephone. + +He made up his mind not to go. + +Nevertheless, when he left the Foreign Office on the Monday about +half-past four, instead of going towards Mayfair he found himself +walking quickly in the direction of Chelsea. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +Miss Van Tuyn was in Garstin's studio on that day. Although apparently +calm and self-possessed she was in a condition of acute nervous +excitement. Craven's mention of Glebe Place through the telephone had +startled her. At once she had understood. People had begun to gossip, +and the gossip had reached Craven's ears. She had reddened as she stood +by the telephone. A definite sensation of anxiety mingled with shame +had crept in her. But it had been succeeded by a decisive feeling more +really characteristic of her. As Craven now evidently knew of her close +acquaintance with Arabian the two men should meet. She would conquer her +reluctance, and put Arabian to the test with Craven. For a long time she +had wished to know what Craven would think of Arabian; for a long time, +too, she had been afraid to know. But now she would hesitate no more. +Dick Garstin was to have a sitting from Arabian on the Monday afternoon. +It ought to be over about half-past four. She could easily manage to +prolong matters in the studio till five, so that Craven might have time +to get to Glebe Place from the Foreign Office. Of course, he might not +choose to come. But if he were really jealous she thought he would come. + +Now she was anticipating the coming interview with an uneasiness which +she could only conceal by a strong effort. + +At last, after repeated failures, Garstin was beginning to work with +energy and real satisfaction. Of late he had been almost venomous. His +impotence to do what he wished to do had made him more disagreeable, +more brutal even than usual. His habitual brusqueness had often +degenerated into downright rudeness. But suddenly a change had come, one +of those mysterious changes in the mood and powers of an artist which +neither he nor anyone else can understand. Abruptly the force which had +abandoned him had returned. + +The change had occurred on the day of Miss Van Tuyn's conversation +through the telephone with Craven, a Friday. + +Arabian had refused to sit on the Saturday and Sunday. He said he was +moving into his Chelsea flat, and had many things to do. He could not +come to the studio again till the Monday afternoon at half-past two. +Garstin had been furious, but he had been met by a will apparently as +inflexible as his own. + +"I am sorry, but I cannot help it, Dick Garstin," Arabian had said. + +And after a pause he had added: + +"I hope I have not shown impatience all this long time?" + +Garstin had cursed, but he had not persisted. Evidently he had realized +that persistence would be useless. On the Monday he had received Arabian +with frigid hauteur, but soon he had become intent on his work and had +apparently forgotten his grievance. + +Half-past four struck--then the quarter to five. Garstin had been +painting for more than two hours. Now he put down his brush and frowned, +still looking at Arabian, who was sitting in an easy, almost casual +position, with his magnificent brown throat and shoulders exposed. + +"Finished!" he said in his loud bass voice. + +Miss Van Tuyn, who was curled up on a divan in a corner of the studio, +moved and put down a book which she had been pretending to read. Garstin +had forbidden her to come near to him that day while he was painting. + +"Finished!" she exclaimed. "Do you mean--" + +"No, damn it, I don't!" said Garstin, with exasperation. "I don't! Do +you take me for a magician, or what? I have finished for to-day! Now +then!" + +He began to move the easel. Miss Van Tuyn got up, and Arabian, without +saying a word, stretched himself, looked at her steadily for a moment, +then pulled up his silk vest and carefully buttoned it with his +strong-looking fingers. Then he too got up, and went away to the +dressing-room to put on his shirt, waistcoat, collar and tie. + +"May I see, Dick?" asked Miss Van Tuyn. + +"No, you mayn't." + +"Are you satisfied?" + +"He's coming out more as I want him this time." + +"Do you think you have found his secret?" + +"Or yours, eh? What is happening in you, my girl?" + +Before she could answer a telephone bell rang below. + +"Damn!" said Garstin, going towards the staircase. + +Before he went down he turned round and said: + +"You're travelling fast." + +And he disappeared. She heard him below tramping to the telephone. Then +she went to a small square window in the studio, pushed it open, and +looked out. There was a tiny space of garden below. She saw a plane +tree shivering in the wind, yellow leaves on the rain-sodden ground. A +sparrow flitted by and perched on the grimy coping of a low wall. And +she shivered like the plane tree. + +"Beryl!" + +She started, turned, and went to the head of the stairs. + +"What is it?" + +"The telephone's for you. Come along down!" + +"Coming!" she answered. + +"Who is it?" she said, as she saw him standing by the telephone with the +receiver in his hand. + +"Some old woman, by the voice. She says she must speak to you. +Here--take it, my girl!" + +"It must be old Fanny!" said Miss Van Tuyn, with a touch of irritation. +"Nobody else would know I was here. But I stupidly told Fanny." + +She took the receiver out of his hand. + +"I'm here! Who is it? Do make haste. I'm in a hurry." + +She was thinking of Craven. It was nearly five o'clock, and she did not +want to be late in Glebe Place, though she dreaded the encounter she +expected there. + +"Oh, Beryl, there's bad news!" + +"Bad news! What news?" + +"I can't tell you like this." + +"Nonsense! Tell me at once!" + +"I can't! I simply cannot. Oh, my dear, get into a taxi and come back at +once." + +"I insist on your telling me what is the matter!" said Miss Van Tuyn +sharply. + +Her nerves were already on edge, and something in the sound of the voice +through the telephone frightened her. + +"Tell me at once what it is! Now speak plainly!" + +There was a pause; then the agitated voice said: + +"A cable has come from the Bahamas." + +"The Bahamas! Well? Well?" + +"Your poor father has--" + +The voice failed. + +"Oh, do tell me! For Heaven's sake, what is it?" + +"Your poor father is dead. Oh, Beryl!" + +Miss Van Tuyn stood quite still for a moment. + +"My father--dead!" she thought. + +She felt surprised. She felt shocked. But she was not conscious of +any real sorrow. She very seldom saw her father. Since he had married +again--he had married a woman with whom he was very much in love--his +strongly independent daughter had faded into the background of his life. +Beryl had not set her eyes upon him during the last eighteen months. It +was impossible that she could miss him much, a father with whom she had +spent for years so little of her time. She knew that she would not miss +him. Yet she had had a shock. After an instant she said: + +"Thank you, Fanny. I shall be home very soon. Of course, I shall leave +the studio at once. Good-bye." + +She hung up the receiver and went upstairs slowly. And as she went she +resolved not to say anything about what had happened to Dick Garstin. +He was incapable of expressing conventional sympathy, and would probably +say something bizarre which would jar on her nerves if she told him. + +She found the two men standing together in the studio. Arabian had on +his overcoat and gloves, and was holding his hat and umbrella. + +"It was only Fanny Cronin!" she said. + +As she spoke she looked narrowly at Garstin. Could Fanny have told him +the news? The casual expression on his face set her mind at ease on that +point. She was certain that he knew nothing. + +"I must go," she said. + +"I will walk with you to a taxi if you kindly allow me," said Arabian, +getting her fur coat. + +"Thank you!" + +As he stood behind her helping her to get into the coat she was +conscious of a strange and terrible feeling of fear mingled with an +intense desire to give herself up to the power in this man. Was Craven +outside? Something in her hoped, almost prayed, that he might be. It was +surely the part of her that was afraid. + +"Good-bye, Dick!" she said in an offhand voice. + +"Good-bye!" he said. "Take care of her, Arabian." + +She sent him a look full of intense and hostile inquiry. He met it with +a half-amused smile. + +"I shall do better now," he said. + +"Ah?" said Arabian, looking polite and imperturbable. + +"Come along!" said Miss Van Tuyn. "It must be getting late." + +As she spoke a clock in the room began striking five. For a moment +she felt confused and almost ill. Her brain seemed too full of rushing +thoughts for its holding capacity. Her head throbbed. Her legs felt +weak. + +"Anything the matter?" asked Garstin, gazing at her with keen attention +and curiosity. + +"No," she said coldly. "Good-bye." + +And she went down the stairs followed by Arabian. + +Garstin did not accompany them. He had gone to stand before his picture +of Arabian. + +Miss Van Tuyn opened the door. A soft gust of wind blew some small rain +into her face. + +"Let me hold my umbrella over you, please," said Arabian. "Do take my +arm while we look for a taxi." + +"No, no!" + +She walked on. + +"There is nothing the matter, I hope?" + +"I had some bad news through the telephone." + +She felt impelled to say this to him, though she had said nothing to +Garstin. Her brain still felt horribly overcharged, and an impulse had +come to her to seek instant relief. + +"My father is dead," she added. + +As she spoke she looked up at him, and she saw a sharp quiver distort +his lips for an instant. + +"Did you know him?" she exclaimed, standing still. + +"I? Indeed no! Why should you suppose so?" + +"I thought--I don't know!" + +He was now looking so calm, so earnestly sympathetic, that she almost +believed that her eyes had played her a trick and that his face had not +changed at her news. + +"I'm not normal to-day," she thought. + +"I am deeply grieved, deeply. Please accept from me my most full +sympathy." + +"Thank you. I scarcely ever saw my father, but naturally this news has +upset me. He died in the Bahamas." + +"How very sad! So far away!" + +"Yes." + +They were still standing together, and he was holding his umbrella over +her head and gazing down at her earnestly, when Craven turned the corner +of the road and came up to them. Miss Van Tuyn flushed. Although she +had asked Craven to come, she felt startled when she saw him, and her +confusion of mind increased. She did not feel competent to deal with the +situation which she had deliberately brought about. Craven had come upon +them too suddenly. She had somehow not expected him just at that moment, +when she and Arabian were standing still. Before she was able to recover +her normal self-possession, Craven had taken off his hat to her and gone +rapidly past them. She had just time to see the grim line of his lips +and the hard, searching glance he sent to her companion. Arabian, she +noticed, looked after him, and she saw that, while he looked, his +large eyes lost all their melting gentleness. They had a cruel, almost +menacing expression in them, and they were horribly intelligent at that +moment. + +"What does this man not know?" she thought. + +He might have little, or no, ordinary learning, but she was positive +that he had an almost appallingly intimate knowledge of many chapters in +the dark books of life. + +"Shall we--?" said Arabian. + +And they walked on slowly together. + +"May I make a suggestion, Miss Van Tuyn," he said gently. + +"What is it?" + +"My little flat is close by, in Rose Tree Gardens. It is not quite +arranged, but tea will be ready. Let me please offer you a cup of tea +and a cigarette. There is a taxi!" + +He made a signal with his left hand. + +"We will keep it at the door, so that you may at once leave when you +feel refreshed. You have had this bad shock. You need a moment to +recover." + +The cab stopped beside them. + +"No, I must really go home," she said, with an attempt at determination. + +"Of course! But please let me have the privilege. You have told me +first of all of your grief. This is real friendship. Let me then be also +friendly, and help you to recover yourself." + +"But really I must--" + +"Four, Rose Tree Gardens! You know them?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Good!" + +The taxi glided away from the kerb. + +And Miss Van Tuyn made no further protest. She had a strange feeling +just then that her will had abandoned her. Fanny Cronin's message must +have had an imperious effect upon her. Yet she still felt no real sorrow +at her father's death. She seemed to be enveloped in something which +made mental activity difficult, indeed almost impossible. + +When the cab stopped, she said: + +"I can only stay five minutes." + +"Certainly! Dear Mademoiselle Cronin will expect you. Please wait for +the lady!" + +Miss Van Tuyn was vaguely glad to hear him say that to the chauffeur. + +She got out and looked upwards. She saw a big block of flats towering up +in front of her. + +"On the other side they face the river Thames," said Arabian. "All my +windows except three look out that way. We will go up in the elevator." + +They passed through a handsome hall and stepped into the lift, which +carried them up to the fourth floor of the building. Arabian put a +latch-key into a polished mahogany door with a big letter M in brass +nailed to it. + +"Please!" he said, standing back for Miss Van Tuyn to pass in. + +But she hesitated. She saw a pretty little hall, a bunch of roses in a +vase on a Chippendale table, two or three closed doors. She was aware +of a very faint and pleasant odour, like the odour of flowers not roses, +and guessed that someone had been burning some perfume in the flat. +There was certainly nothing repellent in this temporary home of Arabian. +Yet she felt with a painful strength that she had better go away without +entering it. While she paused, but before she had said anything, she +heard a quiet step, and a thin man of about thirty with a very dark +narrow face and light, grey eyes appeared. + +"Please bring tea for two at once," said Arabian in Spanish. + +"Yes, sir, in a moment," said the man, also in Spanish. + +Miss Van Tuyn stepped in, and the door was gently shut behind her by +Arabian's manservant. + +Arabian opened the second door on the left of the hall. + +"This is my little salon," he said. "May I--" + +"No, thank you. I'll keep on my coat. I must go home in a minute. I +shall have a good deal to do. Really I oughtn't to be here at all. If +anyone--after such news--" + +She looked at Arabian. She had just had news of the death of her father, +and she had come out to tea with this man. Was she crazy? + +"I don't know why I came!" she said bluntly, angrily almost. + +"Do please sit down," he said, pushing forward a large arm-chair. "If +these curtains were not drawn we could see the river Thames from here. +It is a fine view." + +He bent down and poked the fire, then stood beside it, looking down at +her as she sat in the chair. + +She glanced round the room. It was well furnished and contained two or +three good pieces, but there was nothing in it which showed personality, +a thoughtful guiding mind and taste; there was nothing in it even which +marked it definitely as the home of a woman rather than a man, or vice +versa. + +"I rent it furnished," said Arabian, evidently guessing her thought. + +"Are you here for long?" + +"I do not quite know. That depends." + +His large eyes were fixed upon her as he said this, and she longed to +ask him what intentions he had with regard to her. He had never made +love to her. He had never even been what is sometimes called "foolish" +with her. Not a word to which she could object had ever come from his +lips. By no action had he ever claimed anything from her. And yet she +felt that in some way he was governing her, was imposing his will on +her. Certainly he had once followed her in the street. But on that +occasion he had not known who she was. Now, as he gazed at her, she felt +certain that he had formed some definite project with regard to her, and +meant to carry it out at whatever cost. Garstin said he, Arabian, was in +love with her. Probably he was. But if he was in love with her, why +did he never hint at it when they were alone together except by the +expression in his eyes? She asked herself why she was afraid of him, +and the answer she seemed to get was that his reticence frightened her. +There was something in his continued inaction which alarmed her. It was +a silence of conduct which lay like a weight upon her. She felt it now +as he stared at her. + +"What do you want with me?" + +That was what she longed, and yet was afraid, to say to him. Did he know +how violently she was attracted by him and how fiercely he sometimes +repelled her? No doubt he did. No doubt he knew that at times she +believed him to be horrible, suspected him of nameless things, of +abominable relationships; no doubt he knew that she was degradingly +jealous of him. When his eyes were thus fixed upon her she felt that he +knew everything that was going on in her with which he had to do. Yet he +never spoke of his knowledge. + +His reserve almost terrified her. That was the truth. + +The dark man with the light eyes brought in tea on a large silver tray. +She began to drink it hastily. + +"You--forgive me for asking--you will not leave London because of this +sad news?" said Arabian. + +"Do you mean for America?" + +"Yes." + +Miss Van Tuyn had not thought of such a possibility till he alluded +to it. She could not, of course, be at her father's funeral. That was +impossible. But suddenly it occurred to her that she had no doubt come +into a very large fortune. There might be business to do. She might have +to cross the Atlantic. At the thought of this possibility her sense of +confusion and almost of mental blackness increased, and yet she realized +more vividly than before the death of her father. + +"I don't know. I don't think so. No, thank you. I won't smoke. I must +go. I ought never to have come after receiving such news." + +She stood up. He took her hand. His was warm and strong, and a great +deal of her personality seemed to her to be in its clasp--too much +indeed. His body fascinated hers, made her realize in a startling way +that the coldness of which some men had complained had either been +overcome by something that could burn and be consumed, or perhaps had +never existed. + +"You will not go to America without telling me?" he said. + +"No, no. Of course not." + +"You told me first of your sorrow!" + +"Why--why did I?" she thought, wondering. + +"And you did not tell Dick Garstin." + +"No." + +"And you came here to me." + +"No, no! With you!" + +"To my rooms in spite of your grief. We are friends from to-night." + +"To-night . . . but it is afternoon!" + +He still had her hand in his. She felt, or fancied she felt, a pulse +beating in his hand. It gave her a sense of terrible intimacy with him, +as if she were close to the very sources of his being. And yet she knew +nothing about him. + +"It gets dark so early now," he said. + +Dark! As he said it she thought, "That's his word! That's his word!" +Everyone has his word, and dark was Arabian's. + +"Good-bye!" she said. + +"I will take you down." + +Quietly and very naturally, he let her hand go. And at once she had a +sensation of being out in the cold. + +They went down together in the lift. Just as they left it, and were in +the hall, a woman whom Miss Van Tuyn knew slightly, a Mrs. Birchington, +an intimate of the Ackroyde and Lady Wrackley set, met them coming from +the entrance. + +"Oh, Miss Van Tuyn!" she said, stopping. + +She held out her hand, looking from Miss Van Tuyn to Arabian. + +"How are you?" + +Her light eyes were searching and inquisitive. She had an evening paper +in her hand. + +"I--I am so grieved," she added, again looking at Arabian. + +"Mr. Arabian--Mrs. Birchington!" Miss Van Tuyn felt obliged to say. + +Mrs. Birchington and Arabian bowed. + +"Grieved!" said Miss Van Tuyn. + +"Yes. I have just seen the sad news about your father in the paper." + +Miss Van Tuyn realized at once that she was caught, unless she lied. But +she did not choose to lie before Arabian. Something--her pride of a free +American girl, perhaps--forbade that. And she only said: + +"Thank you for your sympathy. Good-bye." + +"Good-bye!" + +Mrs. Birchington bowed again to Arabian, swept him with her sharp +inquisitive eyes, and stepped into the lift. + +"She lives here," he said, "in the apartment opposite to mine." + +As Miss Van Tuyn drove away towards Claridge's she wondered whether +Arabian was glad because of that fortuitous meeting. + +Because of it her close intimacy with him--it would certainly now be +called, and thought of, as that--would very soon be public property. +All those women would hear about it. How crazy she had been to visit +Arabian's flat at such a moment! She was angry with herself, and yet she +believed that in like circumstances she would do the same thing again. +Her power of will had deserted her, or this man, Arabian, had the power +to inhibit her will. And Craven? What could he be thinking about her? +She knew he was a sensitive man. What must he be thinking? That she had +asked him to come all the way to Glebe Place merely in order that he +might see her in deep conversation with another man. And she had not +even spoken to him. He would be furious. She remembered his face. He was +furious. By what she had done she had certainly alienated Craven. + +And her father was dead! + +She leaned back in the darkness of the cab, feeling weak and miserable, +almost terrified. Surely Fate had her in a tight grip. She remembered +Arabian's question: would it be necessary for her to go to America? Her +father was very rich. She was his only child. He must certainly have +left her a great deal of his money, for his second wife was wealthy and +would not need it. There might be business to do which would necessitate +her presence in New York. At that moment she almost wished for an urgent +summons from the New World. A few hours in a train, the crossing of a +gang-plank, the hoot of a siren, and she would be free from all +these complications! The sea would lie between her and Arabian--Adela +Sellingworth--Craven. She would stay away for months. She would not come +back at all. + +But this man, Arabian, would he let her go without a word, without doing +something? Would his strange and horrible reserve last till her ship was +at sea? She could not believe it. If she made up her mind to sail, and +he knew it, he would speak, act. Something would happen. There would be +some revelation of character, of intention. She was sure of it. Arabian +was a man who could wait--but not for ever. + +She still seemed to feel the pulse beating in his warm hand as she drove +through the rain and the darkness. + + + + +PART SIX + + + +CHAPTER I + +Mrs. Ackroyde had a pretty little house in Upper Grosvenor Street, +but she spent a good deal of her time in a country house which she had +bought at Coombe close to London. She was always there from Saturday to +Monday, when she was not paying visits or abroad, and Coombe Hall, as +her place was called, was a rallying ground for members of the "old +guard." Invariably guests came down on the Sunday to lunch and tea. +Bridge was the great attraction for some. For others there were lawn +tennis and golf. And often there was good music. For Mrs. Ackroyde was +an excellent musician as well as an ardent card-player. + +Lady Sellingworth had occasionally been to Coombe Hall, but for several +years now she had ceased from going there. She did not care to show her +white hair and lined face in Mrs. Ackroyde's rooms, which were always +thronged with women she knew too well and with men who had ceased from +admiring her. And she was no longer deeply interested in the gossip of a +world in which formerly she had been one of the ruling spirits. She was, +therefore, rather surprised at receiving a note from Mrs. Ackroyde +soon after her return from Geneva urging her to motor to Coombe on the +following Sunday for lunch. + +"I suppose there will be the usual crowd," Mrs. Ackroyde wrote. "And +I've asked Alick Craven and two or three who don't often come. What do +you think of Beryl Van Tuyn's transformation into an heiress? I hear +she's come into over three million dollars. I suppose she'll be more +unconventional than ever now. Minnie Birchington met her just after +her father's death, in fact the very day his death was announced in +the papers. She'd just been to tea with a marvellously good-looking +man called something Arabian, who has taken a flat in Rose Tree Gardens +opposite to Minnie's. Evidently this is the newest way of going into +deep mourning." + +Lady Sellingworth hesitated for some time before answering this note. +Probably, indeed almost certainly, she would have refused the invitation +but for the last three sentences about Beryl Van Tuyn. She did not want +to see the girl again, for she could not help hating her. She had, +of course, sent a note of sympathy to Claridge's, and had received an +affectionate reply, which she had torn up and burnt after reading it. +But she had not gone to tell her regret at this death to Beryl, and +Beryl had expressed no wish to see her. + +In her heart Lady Sellingworth hated humbug, and she knew, of course, +that any pretence of real friendship between Beryl and her would be +humbug in an acute form. She might in the future sometimes have to +pretend, but she was resolved not to rush upon insincerity. If Beryl +sought her out again she would play her part of friend gallantly to +conceal her wounds. But she would certainly not seek out Beryl. + +She had not seen Craven since her return to London. In spite of +her anger against him, which was complicated by a feeling of almost +contemptuous disgust, she longed to see him again. Each day, when +she had sat in her drawing-room in the late afternoon and had heard +Murgatroyd's heavy step outside and the opening of the door, her heart +beat fast, and she had thought, "Can it be he?" Each day, after the +words "Sir Seymour Portman!" her heart had sunk and she had felt bitter +and weary. + +And now came this invitation, putting it in her power to meet Craven +again naturally. Should she go? + +She read Dindie Ackroyde's note once more carefully, and a strange +feeling stung her. She had been angry with Beryl for being fond of +Craven. (For she had supposed a real fondness in Beryl.) Now she was +angry with Beryl for a totally different reason. It was evident to her +that Beryl was behaving badly to Craven. As she looked at the note in +her hand she remembered a conversation in a box at the theatre. Arabian! +That was the name of the man Dick Garstin was painting, or had +been painting. Dindie Ackroyde called him "Something Arabian." Lady +Sellingworth's mind supplied the other name. It was Nicolas. Beryl had +described him as "a living bronze." + +She had gone out to tea with him in a flat on the day her father's +sudden death had been announced in the papers. And yet she had pretended +that she was hovering on the verge of love for Alick Craven. She had +even implied that she was thinking of marrying him. Lady Sellingworth +saw Beryl as a treacherous lover, as well as an unkind friend and a +heartless daughter, and suddenly her anger against Craven died in pity. +She had believed for a little while that she hated him, but now she +longed to protect him from pain, to comfort him, to make him happy, +as surely she had once made him happy, if only for an hour or two. She +forgot her pride and her sense of injury in a sudden rush of feeling +that was new to her, that perhaps, really, had something of motherliness +in it. And she sat down quickly and wrote an acceptance to Mrs. +Ackroyde. + +When Sunday came she felt excited and eager, absurdly so for a woman +of sixty. But her secret diffidence troubled her. She looked into her +mirror and thought of the piercing eyes of the "old guard," of those +merciless and horribly intelligent women who had marked with amazement +her sudden collapse into old age ten years ago, who would mark with a +perhaps even greater amazement this bizarre attempt at a partial return +towards what she had once been. + +And what would Alick Craven think? + +Nevertheless she put a little more red on her lips, called her maid, had +something done to her hair. + +"It has been a great success!" said the little Frenchwoman. "Miladi +looks wonderful to-day. Black and white is much better than unrelieved +black for miladi. And the _soupcon_ of blue on the hat and in the +earrings of miladi lights up the whole personality. Miladi never did a +wiser thing than when she visited Switzerland." + +"You think not, Cecile?" + +"Indeed yes, miladi. There is no specialist even in Paris like Monsieur +Paulus. And as to the Doctor Lavallois, he is a marvel. Every woman who +is no longer a girl should go to him." + +Lady Sellingworth picked up a big muff and went down to the motor, +leaving Cecile smiling behind her. As she disappeared down the stairs +Cecile, who was on the bright side of thirty, with a smooth, clear skin +and chestnut-coloured hair, pushed out her under-lip slowly and shook +her head. + +"_La vieillesse!_" she murmured. "_La vieillesse amoureuse! Quelle +horreur!_" + +Lady Sellingworth had never given the maid any confidence about her +secret reasons for doing this or that. But Cecile was a Parisian. She +fully understood the reason for their visit to Geneva. Miladi had fallen +in love. + +Lady Sellingworth's excitement increased as she drove towards Coombe. +It was complicated by a feeling of shyness. To herself she said that she +was like an old debutante. She had been out of the world for so long, +and now she was venturing once more among the merciless women of the +world that never rests from amusing itself, from watching the lives of +others, from gossiping about them, from laughing at them. She had been a +leader of this world until she had denied it, had shut herself away from +it. And now she was venturing back--because of a man. As she drove on +swiftly through the wintry and dull-looking streets, streets that +seemed to grow meaner, more dingy, more joyless, as she drew near to the +outskirts of London, she looked back over the past. And she saw always +the same reason for the important actions of her life. All of them had +been committed because of a man. And now, even at sixty--Presently she +saw by the look of the landscape that she was nearing Coombe, and she +drew a little mirror out of her muff and gazed into it anxiously. + +"What will they say? What will he think? What will happen to me to-day?" + +The car turned into a big gravel sweep between tall, red-brick walls, +and drew up before Mrs. Ackroyde's door. + +In the long drawing-room, with its four windows opening on to a terrace, +from which Coombe Woods could be seen sunk in the misty winter, Lady +Sellingworth found many cheerful people whom she knew. Mrs. Ackroyde +gave her blunt, but kindly, greeting, with her strange eyes, fierce and +remote, yet notably honest, taking in at a glance the results of Geneva. +Lady Wrackley was there in an astonishing black hat trimmed with bird +of paradise plumes. Glancing about her while she still spoke to Dindie +Ackroyde carelessly, Lady Sellingworth saw young Leving; Sir Robert +Syng; the Duchess of Wellingborough, shaking her broad shoulders and +tossing up her big chin as she laughed at some joke; Jennie Farringdon, +with her puffy pale cheeks and parrot-like nose, talking to old Hubert +Mostine, the man of innumerable weddings, funerals and charity fetes, +with his blinking eyelids and moustaches that drooped over a large and +gossiping mouth; Magdalen Dearing, whose Mona Lisa smile had attracted +three generations of men, and who had managed to look sad and be riotous +for at least four decades; Francis Braybrooke, pulling at his beard; +Mrs. Birchington; Lady Anne Smith, wiry, cock-nosed, brown, ugly, but +supremely smart and self-assured; Eve Colton, painted like a wall, and +leaning, with an old hand blazing with jewels, on a stick with a jade +handle; Mrs. Dews, the witty actress, with her white, mobile face, and +the large irresponsible eyes which laughed at herself, the critics and +the world; Lord Alfred Craydon, thin, high church and political, who +loved pretty women but receded farther and farther from marriage as +the years spun by; and Lady Twickenham, a French _poupee_; and Julian +Lamberhurst, the composer, who looked as if he had grown up to his six +foot four in one night, like the mustard seed; and Hilary Lane, the +friend of poets; and--how many more! For Dindie Ackroyde loved to gather +a crowd for lunch, and had a sort of physical love of noise and human +complications. + +At the far end of the room there was a section which was raised a few +inches above the rest. Here stood two Steinway grand pianos, tail to +tail, their dark polished cases shining soberly in the pale light of +November. There were some deep settees on this species of dais, and, +looking towards it, over the heads of the crowd in the lower part of the +room, Lady Sellingworth saw Craven again. + +He was sitting beside a pretty girl, whom Lady Sellingworth did not +know, and talking. His face looked hard and bored, but he was leaning +towards the girl as if trying to seem engrossed, intent, on the +conversation and on her. + +Francis Braybrooke came up. Lady Sellingworth was busy, greeting and +being greeted. Once more she made part of the regiment. But the ranks +were broken. There was no review order here. Only for an instant had she +been aware of formality, of the "eyes right" atmosphere--when she had +entered the room. Then the old voices hummed about her. And she saw the +well-known and experienced eyes examining her. And she had to listen and +to answer, to be charming, to "hold her own." + +"I'm putting Alick Craven next to you at lunch, Adela. I know you and he +are pals. He's over there with Lily Bright." + +"And who is Lily Bright?" said Lady Sellingworth in her most offhand +way. + +"A dear little New Englander, Knickerbocker to the bone." + +She turned away composedly to meet another guest. + +Francis Braybrooke began to talk to Lady Sellingworth, and almost +immediately Lady Wrackley and Mrs. Birchington joined them. + +"How marvellous you look, Adela!" said Lady Wrackley, staring with her +birdlike eyes. "You will cut us all out. I must go to Geneva. Have +you heard about Beryl? But of course you have. She was so delighted +at coming into a fortune that she rushed away to Rose Tree Gardens to +celebrate the event with a man without even waiting till she had got her +mourning. Didn't she, Minnie?" + +Francis Braybrooke was looking shocked. + +"I cannot believe that Miss Van Tuyn--" he began. + +But Mrs. Birchington interrupted him. + +"But I was there!" she said. + +"I beg your pardon!" said Braybrooke. + +"It was the very day the death of her father was in the evening papers. +I came back from the club with the paper in my hand, and met Beryl Van +Tuyn getting out of the lift in Rose Tree Gardens with the man who lives +opposite to me. She absolutely looked embarrassed." + +"Impossible!" said Lady Wrackley. "She couldn't!" + +"I assure you she did! But she introduced me to him." + +"She cannot have heard of her father's death," said Braybrooke. + +"But she had! For I expressed my sympathy and she thanked me." + +Braybrooke looked very ill at ease and glanced plaintively towards the +place where Craven was sitting with the pretty American. + +"No doubt she had been to visit old friends," he said, "American +friends." + +"But this man, Nicolas Arabian, lives alone in his flat. And I'm sure +he's not an American. Lady Archie has seen him several times with +Beryl." + +"What's he like?" asked Lady Wrackley. + +"Marvellously handsome! A _charmeur_ if ever there was one. Beryl +certainly had good taste, but--" + +At this moment there was a general movement. The butler had murmured to +Mrs. Ackroyde that lunch was ready. + +Lady Sellingworth was among the first few women who left the +drawing-room, and was sitting at a round table in the big, +stone-coloured dining-room when Baron de Melville, an habitue at Coombe, +bent over her. + +"I'm lucky enough to be beside you!" he said. "This is a rare occasion. +One never meets you now." + +He sat down on her right. The place on her left was vacant. People were +still coming in, talking, laughing, finding their seats. The Duchess of +Wellingborough, who was exactly opposite to Lady Sellingworth, leaned +forward to speak to her. + +"Adela . . . Adela!" + +"Yes? How are you, Cora?" + +"Very well, as I always am. Isn't Lavallois a marvel?" + +"He is certainly very clever." + +"You are proud of it, my dear. Have you heard what the Bolshevist envoy +said to the Prime Minister when--" + +But at this moment someone spoke to the duchess, who was already +beginning to laugh at the story she was intending to tell and Lady +Sellingworth was aware of a movement on her left. She felt as if she +blushed, though no colour came into her face. + +"How are you, Lady Sellingworth?" + +She had not turned her head, but now she did, and met Craven's hard, +uncompromising blue eyes and deliberately smiling lips. + +"Oh, it's you! How nice!" + +She gave him her hand. He just touched it coldly. What a boy he still +was in his polite hostility! She thought of Camber Sands and the +darkness falling over the waste, and, in spite of her self-control and +her pity for him, there was an unconquerable feeling of injury in her +heart. What reason, what right, had he to greet her so frigidly? How had +she injured him? + +A roar of conversation had begun in the room. Everyone seemed in high +spirits. Mrs. Ackroyde, who was at the same table as Lady Sellingworth, +with Lord Alfred Craydon on her right and Sir Robert Syng on her +left, looked steadily round over the multitude of her guests with a +comprehensive glance, the analyzing and summing-up glance of one to whom +everything social was as an open book containing no secrets which her +eyes did not read. Those eyes travelled calmly, and presently came to +Craven and Adela Sellingworth. She smiled faintly and spoke to Robert +Syng. + +"This is her second debut," she said. "I'm bringing her out again. They +are all amazed." + +"What about?" said Sir Robert, in his grim and very masculine voice. + +"Bobbie, you know as well as I do. I had a bet with Anne that she would +accept. I'm five pounds to the good. Adela is a creature of impulses, +and that sort of creature does young things to the day of its death." + +"Is it doing a young thing to accept a luncheon invitation from you?" + +"Yes--for _her_ reason." + +"Well, that's beyond me." + +"How indifferent you are!" + +He looked at her in silence. + +Lady Sellingworth talked to the baron till half-way through lunch. +He was a financier of rather obscure origin, long naturalized as an +Englishman, and ardently patriotic. The noble words "we British people" +were often upon his strangely foreign-looking lips. Many years ago +the "old guard" had taken him to their generous bosoms. For he was +enormously rich, and really not a bad sort. And he had been clever +enough to remain unmarried, so hope attended him with undeviating steps. + +Miss Van Tuyn was presently the theme of his discourse. Evidently he did +not know anything about her and Alick Craven. For he discussed her and +her change of fortune without embarrassment or any _arriere pensee_, +and he, too, spoke of the visit to Rose Tree Gardens. Evidently all the +Coombe set was full of this mysterious visit, paid to an Adonis whom +nobody knew, in the shadow of a father's death. + +The baron greatly admired Miss Van Tuyn, not only for her beauty but for +her daring. And he was not at all shocked at what she had done. + +"She never lived with her father. Why should she pretend to be upset at +his death? The only difference it makes to her is an extremely agreeable +one. If she celebrates it by a mild revel over the tea cups with an +exceptionally good-looking man, who is to blame her? The fact is, we +Britishers are all moral humbugs. It seems to be in the blood," etc. + +He ran on with wholly un-English vivacity about Beryl and her wonderful +man. Everybody wished to know who he was and all about him, but he +seemed to be a profound mystery. Even Minnie Birchington, who lived +opposite to him, knew little more than the rest of them. Since she had +been introduced to him she had never set eyes on him, although she +knew from her maid that he was still in the flat opposite, which he had +rented furnished for three months with an option for a longer period. He +had a Spanish manservant in the flat with him, but whether he, too, was +Spanish Mrs. Birchington did not know. Where had Beryl Van Tuyn picked +him up, and how had she come to know him so well? All the women were +asking these questions. And the men were intrigued because of the +report, carried by Lady Archie, and enthusiastically confirmed by Mrs. +Birchington, of the fellow's extraordinary good looks. + +Lady Sellingworth listened to all this with an air of polite, but rather +detached, interest, wondering all the time whether Craven could overhear +what was being said. Craven was sometimes talking to his neighbour, +Mrs. Farringdon, but occasionally their conversation dropped, and Lady +Sellingworth was aware of his sitting in silence. She wished, and yet +almost feared, to talk to him, but she knew that she was interested in +no one else in the room. Now that she was again with Craven she realized +painfully how much she had missed him. Among all these people, many of +them talented, clever, even fascinating, she was only concerned about +him. To her he seemed almost like a vital human being in the midst of +a crowd of dummies endowed by some magic with the power of speech. She +only felt him at this moment, though she was conscious of the baron, +Mrs. Ackroyde, Bobbie Syng, the duchess, and others who were near her. +This silent boy--he was still a boy in comparison with her--crumbling +his bread, wiped them all out. Yet he was no cleverer than they were, no +more vital than they. And half of her almost hated him still. + +"Oh, why do I worry about him?" she thought, while she leaned towards +the baron and looked energetically into his shifting dark eyes. "What +is there in him that holds me and tortures me? He's only an ordinary +man--horribly ordinary, I know that." + +And she thought of Camber Sands and the twilight, and saw Craven +seeking for Beryl's hand--footman and housemaid. What had she, Adela +Sellingworth, with her knowledge and her past, her great burden of +passionate experiences--what had she to do with such an ordinary young +man? + +"Nicolas might possibly be Greek or Russian. But what are we to make of +Arabian?" + +It was still the voice of the Baron--full, energetic, intensely +un-English. + +"Have you heard the name before, Lady Sellingworth?" + +"Yes," she said. + +"Really! What country does it belong to? Surely not to our England?" + +"No." + +Craven was not speaking at this moment, and she felt that he was +listening to them. She remembered how Beryl had hurt her and, speaking +with deliberate clearness, she added: + +"Garstin, the painter, has had this man, Nicolas Arabian, as a sitter +for a long time, certainly for a good many weeks. And Beryl is just now +intensely interested in portrait painting." + +"What--he's a model! But with a flat in Rose Tree Gardens!" + +"He is evidently not an ordinary model. I believe Mr. Garstin picked +him up somewhere, saw him by chance, probably at the Cafe Royal or some +place of that kind, and asked him to sit." + +"Do you know him?" asked the Baron, with sharp curiosity. + +"Oh, no! I have never set eyes upon him. Beryl told me." + +"Miss Van Tuyn! We all thought she was trying to keep the whole matter a +secret." + +"Well, she told me quite openly. You were there, weren't you?" + +She turned rather abruptly to Craven. He started. + +"What? I beg your pardon. I didn't catch what you were saying." + +"He's lying!" she thought. + +The Baron was addressed by his neighbour, Magdalen Dearing, whose +husband he was supposed, perhaps quite wrongly, to finance, and Lady +Sellingworth was left free for a conversation with Craven. + +"We were speaking about Beryl," she began. + +Suddenly she felt hard, and she wanted to punish Craven, as we only wish +to punish those who can make us suffer because they have made us care +for them. + +"It seems that--they are all saying--" + +She paused. She wanted to repeat the scandalous gossip about Beryl's +visit to this mystery man, Arabian, immediately after her father's +death. But she could not do it. No, she could not punish him with such +a dirty weapon. He was worthy of polished steel, and this would be rusty +scrap-iron. + +"It's nothing but stupid gossip," she said. "And you and I have never +dealt in that together, have we?" + +"Oh, I enjoy hearing about my neighbours," he answered, "or I shouldn't +come here." + +She felt a sharp thrust of disappointment. His voice was cold and full +of detachment; the glance of his blue eyes was hard and unrelenting. She +had never seen him like this till to-day. + +"What are they saying about Miss Van Tuyn?" he added. "Anything +amusing?" + +"No. And in any case it's not the moment to talk nonsense about her, +just when she is in deep mourning." + +With an almost bitter smile she continued, after a slight hesitation: + +"There is a close time for game during which the guns must be patient. +There ought to be a close time for human beings in sorrow. We ought not +to fire at them all the year round." + +"What does it matter? They fire at us all the year round. The carnage is +mutual." + +"Have you turned cynic?" + +"I don't think I was ever a sentimentalist." + +"Perhaps not. But must one be either the one or the other?" + +"I am quite sure you are not the latter." + +"I should be sorry to be the former," she said, with unusual +earnestness. + +Something in his voice made her suddenly feel very sad, with a coldness +of sorrow that was like frost binding her heart. She looked across the +big table. A long window was opposite to her. Through it she saw distant +tree-tops rising into the misty grey sky. And she thought of the silence +of the bare woods, so near and yet so remote. Why was life so heartless? +Why could not he and she understand each other? Why had she nothing to +rest on? Winter! She had entered into her winter, irrevocable, cold and +leafless. But the longing for warmth would not leave her. Winter was +terrible to her, would always be terrible. + +How the Duchess of Wellingborough was laughing! Her broad shoulders +shook. She threw up her chin and showed her white teeth. To her life +was surely a splendid game, even in widowhood and old age. The crowd was +enough for her. She fed on good stories. And so no doubt she would never +go hungry. For a moment Lady Sellingworth thought that she envied the +Duchess. But then something deep down in her knew it was not so. To need +much--that is greater and better, even if the need brings that sorrow +which perhaps many know nothing of. At that moment she connected desire +with aspiration, and felt released from her lowest part. + +Craven was speaking to Mrs. Farringdon; Lady Sellingworth heard her +saying, in her curiously muffled, contralto voice: + +"Old Bean is a wonderful horse. I fancy him for the next Derby. But +some people say he is not a stayer. On a hard course he might crack up. +Still, he's got a good deal of bone. The Farnham stable is absolutely +rotten at present. Don't go near it." + +"Oh, why did I come?" Lady Sellingworth thought, as she turned again to +the Baron. + +She had lost the habit of the world in her long seclusion. In her +retreat she had developed into a sentimentalist. Or perhaps she had +always been one, and old age had made the tendency more definite, had +fixed her in the torturing groove. She began to feel terribly out of +place in this company, but she knew that she did not look out of place. +She had long ago mastered the art of appearance, and could never forget +that cunning. And she gossiped gaily with the Baron until luncheon at +last was over. + +As she went towards the drawing-room Mrs. Ackroyde joined her. + +"You were rather unkind to Alick Craven, Adela," she murmured. "Has he +offended you?" + +"On the contrary. I think he's a charming boy." + +"Don't punish him all the afternoon then." + +"But I am not going to be here all the afternoon. I have ordered the car +for half-past three." + +"It's that now." + +"Well, then I must be going almost directly." + +"You must stay for tea. A lot of people are coming, and we shall have +music. Alick Craven only accepted because I told him you would be here." + +"But you told me he had accepted when you asked me." + +"That's how I do things when I really want people who may not want to +come. I lied to both of you, and here you both are." + +"Well at any rate you are honest in confession." + +"I will counterorder your car. Henry, please tell Lady Sellingworth's +chauffeur that he will be sent for when he is wanted. Oh, Anne, welcome +the wandering sheep back to the social fold!" + +She threaded her way slowly through the crowd, talking calmly to one and +another, seeing everything, understanding everything, tremendously at +home in the midst of complications. + +Lady Sellingworth talked to Lady Anne, who had just come back from +Mexico. It was her way to dart about the world, leaving her husband +in his arm-chair at the Marlborough. She brought gossip with her from +across the seas, gossip about exotic Presidents and their mistresses, +about revolutionary generals and explorers, about opera singers in +Havana, and great dancers in the Argentine. In her set she was called +"the peripatetic pug," but she had none of the pug's snoring laziness. +Presently someone took her away to play bridge, and for a moment Lady +Sellingworth was standing alone. She was close to a great window which +gave on to the terrace at the back of the house facing the falling +gardens and the woods. She looked out, then looked across the room. +Craven was standing near the door. He had just come in with a lot of +men from the dining-room. He had a cigar in his hand. His cheeks were +flushed. He looked hot and drawn, like a man in a noisy prison of +heat which excited him, but tormented him too. His eyes shone almost +feverishly. As she looked at him, not knowing that he was being watched +he drew a long breath, almost like a man who feared suffocation. +Immediately afterwards he glanced across the room and saw her. + +She beckoned to him. With a reluctant air, and looking severe, he came +across to her. + +"Are you going to play bridge?" she said. + +"I don't think so." + +"Dindie has persuaded me to stay on for the music. Shall we take a +little walk in the garden? I am so unaccustomed to crowds that I am +longing for air." + +She paused, then added: + +"And a little quiet." + +"Certainly," he said stiffly. + +"Does he hate me?" she thought, with a sinking of despair. He went to +fetch her wrap. They met in the hall. + +"Where are you two going?" + +Dindie Ackroyde's all-seeing eyes had perceived them. + +"Only to get a breath of air in the garden," said Lady Sellingworth. + +"How sensible!" + +She gave them a watchful smile and spoke to Eve Colton, who was hunting +for the right kind of bridge, stick in hand. + +"I'll find Melville for you. Jennie and Sir Arthur are waiting in the +card-room." + +"I hope you don't mind coming out for a moment?" + +Lady Sellingworth's unconquerable diffidence was persecuting her. She +spoke almost with timidity to Craven on the doorstep. + +"Oh, no. I am delighted." + +His young voice was carefully frigid. + +"More motors!" she said. "The whole of London will be here by tea time." + +"Great fun, isn't it? Such a squash of interesting people." + +"And I am taking you away from them!" + +"That's all right!" + +"Oh, what an Eton's boy's voice!" she thought. + +But she loved it. That was the truth. His youngness was so apparent +in his coldness that he was more dangerous than ever to her who had an +unconquerable passion for youth. + +"Let us go through this door in the wall. It must lead to the gardens." + +"Certainly!" + +He pushed it open. They passed through and were away from the motors, +standing on a broad terrace which turned at right angles and skirted the +back of the house. + +"Don't let us go round the corner before all the drawing-room windows." + +"No?" he said. + +"Unless you prefer--" + +"I will go wherever you like." + +"I thought--what about this path?" + +"Shall we do down it?" + +"I think it looks rather tempting." + +They walked slowly on, descending a slight incline, and came to a second +long terrace on a lower level. There was a good deal of brick-work in +Mrs. Ackroyde's garden, but there were some fine trees, and in summer +the roses were wonderful. Now there were not many flowers, but at least +there were calm and silence, and the breath of the winter woods came to +Lady Sellingworth and Craven. + +Craven said nothing, and walked stiffly beside his companion looking +straight ahead. He seemed entirely unlike the man who had talked so +enthusiastically in her drawing-room after the dinner in the _Bella +Napoli_, and again on that second evening when they had dined together +without the company of Beryl Van Tuyn. But Dindie Ackroyde had said he +had come down that day because he had been told he would meet her. And +Dindie was scarcely ever wrong about people. But this time surely she had +made a mistake. + +"Oh, there's the hard court!" Lady Sellingworth said. + +"Yes." + +"It looks a beauty." + +"Do you play?" + +"I used to. But I have given it up." + +After a silence she added: + +"You know I have given up everything. There comes a time--" + +She hesitated. + +"Perhaps you will not believe it, but I feel very strange here with all +these people." + +"But you know them all, don't you?" + +"Nearly all. But they mean nothing to me now." + +They were walking slowly up and down the long terrace. + +"One passes away from things," she said, "as one goes on. It is rather a +horrible feeling." + +Suddenly, moved by an impulse that was almost girlish, she stopped on +the path and said: + +"What is the matter with you to-day? Why are you angry with me?" + +Craven flushed. + +"Angry! But I am not angry!" + +"Yes, you are. Tell me why." + +"How could I--I'm really not angry. As if I could be angry with you!" + +"Then why are you so different?" + +"In what way am I different?" + +She did not answer, but said: + +"Did you hear what the baron and I were talking about at lunch?" + +"Just a few words." + +"I hope you didn't think I wished to join in gossip about Beryl Van +Tuyn?" + +"Of course not." + +"I hate all such talk. If that offended you--" + +She was losing her dignity and knew it, but a great longing to overcome +his rigidity drove her on. + +"If you think--" + +"It wasn't that!" he said. "I have no reason to mind what anyone says +about Miss Van Tuyn." + +"But she's your friend!" + +"Is she? I think a friend is a very rare thing. You have taught me +that." + +"I? How?" + +"You went abroad without letting me know." + +"Is that it?" she said. + +And there was a strange note, like a note of joy, in her voice. + +"I think you might have told me. And you put me off. I was to have seen +you--" + +"Yes, I know." + +She was silent. She could not explain. That was impossible. Yet she +longed to tell him how much she had wished to see him, how much it had +cost her to go without a word. But suddenly she remembered Camber. +He was angry with her, but he had very soon consoled himself for her +departure. + +"I went away quite unexpectedly," she said. "I had to go like that." + +"I--I hope you weren't ill?" + +He recalled Braybrooke's remarks about doctors. Perhaps she had really +been ill. Perhaps something had happened abroad, and he had done her a +wrong. + +"No, I haven't been ill. It wasn't that," she said. + +The thought of Camber persisted, and now persecuted her. + +"I am quite sure you didn't miss me," she said, with a colder voice. + +"But I did!" he said. + +"For how long?" + +The mocking look he knew so well had come into her eyes. How much did +she know? + +"Have you seen Miss Van Tuyn since you came back?" he asked. + +"Oh, yes. She paid me a visit soon after I arrived." + +Craven looked down. He realized that something had been said, that Miss +Van Tuyn had perhaps talked injudiciously. But even if she had, why +should Lady Sellingworth mind? His relation with her was so utterly +different from his relation with the lovely American. It never occurred +to him that this wonderful elderly woman, for whom he had such a +peculiar feeling, could care for him at all as a girl might, could think +of him as a woman thinks of a man with whom she might have an affair of +the heart. She fascinated him. Yes! But she did not fascinate that part +of him which instinctively responded to Beryl Van Tuyn. And that he +fascinated her in any physical way simply did not enter his mind. +Nevertheless, at that moment he felt uncomfortable and, absurdly enough, +almost guilty. + +"Have you seen Beryl since her father's death?" said Lady Sellingworth. + +"No," he said. "At least--yes, I suppose I have." + +"You suppose?" + +Her eyes had not lost their mocking expression. + +"I happened to see her in Glebe Place with that fellow they are all +chattering about, but I didn't speak to her. I believe her father was +dead then. But I didn't know it at the time." + +"Oh! Is he so very handsome, as they say?" + +She could not help saying this, and watching him as she said it. + +"I should say he was a good-looking chap," answered Craven frigidly. +"But he looks like a wrong 'un." + +"It is difficult to tell what people are at a glance." + +"Some people--yes. But I think with others one look is enough." + +"Yes, that's true," she said, thinking of him. "Shall we go a little +farther towards the woods?" + +"Yes; let us." + +She knew he was suffering obscurely that day, perhaps in his pride, +perhaps in something else. She hoped it was in his pride. Anyhow, she +felt pity for him in her new-found happiness. For she was happier now in +comparison with what she had been. And with that happiness came a great +longing to comfort him, to draw him out of his cold reserve, to turn him +into the eager and almost confidential boy he had been with her. As they +passed the red tennis court and walked towards the end of the garden +which skirted the woods she said: + +"I want you to understand something. I know it must have seemed +unfriendly in me to put you off, and then to leave England without +letting you know. But I had a reason which I can't explain." + +"Yes?" + +"I shall never be able to explain it. But if I could you would realize +at once that my friendship for you was unaltered." + +"Well, but you didn't let me know you were back. You did not ask me to +come to see you." + +"I did not think you would care to come." + +"But--why?" + +"I--perhaps you--I don't find it easy now to think that anyone can care +much to be bothered with me." + +"Oh--Lady Sellingworth!" + +"That really is the truth. Believe it or not, as you like. You see, I am +out of things now." + +"You need never be out of things unless you choose." + +"Oh, the world goes on and leaves one behind. Don't you remember my +telling you and Beryl once that I was an Edwardian?" + +"If that means un-modern I think I prefer it to modernity. I think +perhaps I have an old-fashioned soul." + +He was smiling now. The hard look had gone from his eyes; the ice in his +manner had melted. She felt that she was forgiven. And she tried to put +the thought of Camber out of her mind. Beryl was unscrupulous. Perhaps +she had exaggerated. And, in any case, surely she had treated, was +treating, him badly. + +She felt that he and she were friends again, that he was glad to be with +her once more. There was really a link of sympathy between them. And +he had been angry because she had gone abroad without telling him. She +thought of his anger and loved it. + +That day, after tea, while the music was still going on in Dindie +Ackroyde's drawing-room, they drove back to London together, leaving +their reputations quite comfortably behind them in the hand of the "old +guard." + + + +CHAPTER II + +Beryl Van Tuyn found that it was not necessary for her to cross the +ocean on account of her father's sudden death. He had left all his +affairs in excellent order, and the chief part of his fortune was +bequeathed to her. She had always had plenty of money. Now she was rich. +She went into mourning, answered suitably the many letters of condolence +that poured in upon her, and then considered what she had better do. + +Miss Cronin pleaded persistently for an immediate return to Paris. +What was the good of staying on in London now? The winter was dreary +in London. The flat in Paris was far more charming and elegant than +any hotel. Beryl had all her lovely things about her there. Her chief +friends were in Paris. She could see them quietly at home. And it was +quite impossible for her to go about London now that she was plunged +in mourning. What would they do there? She, Miss Cronin, could go on as +usual, of course. She never did anything special. But Beryl would surely +be bored to death living the life of a hermit in Claridge's. + +Miss Van Tuyn listened to all that old Fanny had to say, and made no +attempt to refute her arguments or reply to her exhortations. She merely +remarked that she would think the matter over. + +"But what is there to think over, darling?" said Miss Cronin, lifting +her painted eyebrows. "There is nothing to keep us here. You never go to +the Wallace Collection now." + +"Do please allow me to be the judge of what I want to do with my life, +Fanny," said Miss Van Tuyn, curtly. "When I wish to pack up I'll tell +you." + +And old Fanny collapsed like a pricked bladder. She could not understand +Beryl any longer. The girl seemed to be quite beyond her reach. She +thought of Alick Craven and of the man in the blue overcoat with the +strange name. Nicolas Arabian. She had seen neither of them again. Beryl +never mentioned them. But Fanny was sure that one, or both, of them held +her in London. Something must be in the wind, something dangerous to any +companion. She felt on the threshold of an alarming, perhaps disastrous, +change. As she went nowhere she knew nothing of Beryl's visit to Rose +Tree Gardens and of the gossip it had set going in certain circles in +London. But she had never been able to forget the impression she had had +when Beryl had introduced her to the man with the melting brown eyes. +Beryl was surely in love. Yet she did not look happy. Certainly her +father's death might have upset her. But Miss Cronin did not think that +was sufficient to account for the change in the girl. She had something +on her mind besides that. Miss Cronin was certain of it. Beryl's cool +self-assurance was gone. She was restless. She brooded. She seemed quite +unable to settle to anything or to come to any decision. + +Old Fanny began to be seriously alarmed. Mrs. Clem Hodson had gone back +to Philadelphia. She had no one to consult, no one to apply to. She felt +quite helpless. Even Bourget could give her no solace. She had a weak +imagination, but it now began to trouble her. As she lay upon her sofa, +she, always feebly, imagined many things. But oftenest she saw a vague +vision of Mr. Craven and Mr. Arabian fighting a duel because of Beryl. +They were in a forest clearing near Paris in early morning. It was a +duel with revolvers, as Bourget might have described it. She saw their +buttoned-up coats, their stretched-out arms. Which did she wish to be +the victor? And which would Beryl wish to return unwounded to Paris? +Surely Mr. Arabian. He was so kind, so enticingly gentle; he had such +beautiful eyes. And yet--and at this point old Fanny's imagination +ceased to function, and something else displayed a certain amount of +energy, her knowledge of the world. What would Mr. Arabian be like as a +husband? He was charming, seductive even, caressingly sympathetic--yes, +caressingly! But--as a husband? And old Fanny felt mysteriously that +something in her recoiled from the idea of Arabian as the husband of +Beryl, whereas she could think of Mr. Craven in that situation quite +calmly. It was all very odd, and it made her very uncomfortable. It even +agitated her, and she felt her solitude keenly. There had never been +a real link between Beryl and her, and she knew it. But now she felt +herself strangely alone in the midst of perhaps threatening dangers. If +only Beryl would become frank, would speak out, would consult her, ask +her advice! But the girl was enclosed in a reserve that was flawless. +There was not a single breach in the wall. And the dark winter had +descended on London. + +One evening Miss Van Tuyn felt almost desperate. Enclosed in her reserve +she longed for a confidante; she longed to talk things over, to take +counsel with someone. She had even a desire to ask for advice. But she +knew no one in London to whom she could unbosom herself. Fanny did not +count. Old Fanny was a fool and quite incapable of being useful mentally +to anyone with good brains. And to what other woman could she speak, +she, Beryl Van Tuyn, the notoriously clever, notoriously independent, +young beauty, who had always hitherto held the reins of her own destiny? +If only she could speak to a man! But there the sex question intruded +itself. No man would be impartial unless he were tremendously old. And +she had no tremendously old man friend, having always preferred those +who were still in possession of all their faculties. + +No young man could be impartial, least of all Alick Craven, and yet she +wished intensely that she had not lost her head that day in Glebe Place, +that she had carried out her original intention and had introduced +Craven to Arabian. + +She knew what people were saying of her in London. Although she was in +deep mourning and could not go about, several women had been to see her. +They had come to condole with her, and had managed to let her understand +what people were murmuring. Lady Archie had been with her. Mrs. +Birchington had looked in. And two days after Lady Sellingworth's visit +to Coombe Dindie Ackroyde had called. From her Miss Van Tuyn had +heard of Craven's walk in the garden with Adela Sellingworth and early +departure to London in Adela's motor. In addition to this piece of +casually imparted news, Mrs. Ackroyde had frankly told Miss Van Tuyn +that she was being gossiped about in a disagreeable way and that, in +spite of her established reputation for unconventionality, she ought to +be more careful. And Miss Van Tuyn--astonishingly--had not resented +this plain speaking. Mrs. Ackroyde, of course, had tried to find out +something about Nicolas Arabian, but Miss Van Tuyn had evaded the not +really asked questions, and had treated the whole matter with an almost +airy casualness which had belied all that was in her mind. + +But these visits, and especially Dindie Ackroyde's, had deepened the +nervous pre-occupation which was beginning seriously to alarm old Fanny. + +If she took old Fanny's advice and left London? If she returned to +Paris? She believed, indeed she felt certain, that to do that would not +be to separate from Arabian. He would follow her there. If she took the +wings of the morning and flew to the uttermost parts of the earth there +surely she would find him. She began to think of him as a hound on +the trail of her. And yet she did not want him to lose the trail. She +combined fear with desire in a way that was inexplicable to herself, +that sometimes seemed to her like a sort of complex madness. But her +reason for remaining in London was not to be found in Arabian's presence +there. And she knew that. If she went to Paris she would be separated +from Alick Craven. She did not want to be separated from him. And +now Dindie Ackroyde's news intensified her reluctance to yield to old +Fanny's persuasions and to return to her bronzes. Her clever visit to +Adela Sellingworth had evidently not achieved its object. In spite of +her so deliberate confession to Adela the latter had once more taken +possession of Craven. + +Miss Van Tuyn felt angry and disgusted, even indignant, but she also +felt saddened and almost alarmed. + +Knowing men very well, being indeed an expert in male psychology, she +realized that perhaps, probably even, her own action had driven Craven +back to his friendship with Adela. But that fact did not make things +more pleasant for her. She knew that she had seriously offended Craven. +She remembered the look in his face was he passed quickly by her and +Arabian in Glebe Place. He had not been to see her since, and had not +written to condole with her. She knew that she had outraged his pride, +and perhaps something else. Yet she could not make up her mind to leave +England and drop out of his life. To do that would be like a confession +of defeat. But it was not only her vanity which prompted her to stay on. +She had a curious and strong liking for Craven which was very sincere. +It was absolutely unlike the painful attraction which pushed her towards +Arabian. There was trust in it, a longing for escape from something +dangerous, something baleful, into peace and security. There was even a +moral impulse in it such as she had never felt till now. + +What was she to do? She suffered in uncertainty. Her nerves were all +on edge. She felt irritable, angry, like someone being punished and +resenting the punishment. And she felt horribly dull. Her mourning +prohibited her from seeking distractions. People were gossiping about +her unpleasantly already. She remembered Dindie Ackroyde's warning, and +knew she had better heed it. She felt heartless because she was unable +to be really distressed about the death of her father. Old Fanny bored +her when she did not actively worry her. She was terribly sorry for +herself. + +In the evening, while she was sitting alone in her room listlessly +reading a book on modern painting by an author with whose views she did +not agree, and looking forward to a probably sleepless night, there +was a knock on the door, and a rose cheeked page boy, all alertness and +buttons, tripped in with a note on a salver. + +"Any answer?" she said. + +"No, mum." + +She took the note, and at once recognized Dick Garstin's enormous +handwriting. Quickly she opened it and read. + + +GLEBE. + +Wed. + +Dear B.--Does your mourning prevent you from looking at a damned good +picture? If not, come round to the studio to-morrow any time after lunch +and have a squint at a king in the underworld. + +D. G. + + +At once her feeling of acute boredom left her, was replaced by a keen +sense of excitement. She realized immediately that at last Garstin had +finished his picture, that at last he had satisfied himself. She had not +seen Garstin since the day when she had heard of her father's death. +Nor had she seen Arabian. Characteristically, Garstin had not taken +the trouble to send her a letter of condolence. He never bothered to +do anything conventional. If he had written he would probably had +congratulated her on coming into a fortune. Arabian's sympathy had +already been expressed. Naturally, therefore, he had not written to her. +But he had made no sign in all these days, had not left a card, had not +attempted to see her. Day after day she had wondered whether he would +do something, give some evidence of life, of intention. Nothing! He had +just let her alone. But in his inaction she had felt him intensely, +far more than she felt other men in their actions. He had, as it were, +surrounded her with his silence, had weighed upon her by his absence. +She feared and was fascinated by his apparent indifference, as formerly, +when with him, she had feared and been fascinated by his reticence of +speech and of conduct. Only once had he taken the initiative with her, +when he had ordered the taxi-cab driver to go to Rose Tree Gardens. +And even then, when he had had her there alone in his flat, nothing had +happened. And he had let her go without any attempt to detain her. + +In his passivity there was something hypnotic which acted upon her. She +felt it charged with power, with intention, even almost with brutality. +There was a great cry for her in his silence. + +She did not answer Garstin's note. That was not necessary. She knew she +would see him on the morrow. + +Directly after lunch on the following day she walked to Glebe Place, +wondering whether Arabian would be there. + +As usual, Garstin answered the door and covered her with a comprehensive +glance as she stood on the doorstep. + +"Black suits you," he said. "You ought never to go out of mourning." + +"Thank you for your kind sympathy, Dick," she answered. "One can +always depend on you for delicacy of feeling and expression in time of +trouble." + +He smiled as he shut the door. + +"You tartar!" he said. "Be careful you don't develop into a shrew as you +get on in life." + +She noticed at once that he was looking unusually happy. There was even +something almost of softness in his face, something almost of kindness, +certainly of cordiality, in his eyes. + +"Evidently coming into money hasn't had a softening influence upon you," +he added. + +To her surprise he took her into the ground floor studio and sat down on +the big divan there. + +"Aren't we going upstairs?" she said. + +"In a minute. Don't be in such a blasted hurry, my girl!" + +"Well, but--" + +She followed his example and sat down. + +"Is anyone up there?" + +"Not a soul. Who should there be?" + +"Well, I don't know. I thought perhaps--" + +"Old Nick was there? Well, he isn't!" + +"How absurd you are!" she said, almost with confusion, and looking away +from him. "I only wondered whether you had a model with you." + +"I know, I know!" + +After a rather long pause she said: + +"What are we waiting here for?" + +"Oh--just to rest!" + +"But I'm not tired." + +"I didn't suppose you were." + +Again there was a pause, in which Miss Van Tuyn felt a tingling of +impatient irritation. + +"I suppose you are doing this merely to whet my appetite," she said +presently, unable to bear the unnatural silence. "Of course I know you +have finished the picture at last. You have asked me to come here to +see it. Then why on earth not let me see it? All this waiting can't come +from timidity. I know you don't care for opinion so long as your own is +satisfied." + +He sent her an odd look that was almost boyish in its half mischievous, +half wistful roguishness. + +"My girl, you speak about a painter with great assurance, and, let me +add, with great ignorance. I'll tell you the plain truth for once. I've +been keeping you down here out of sheer diffidence. Now then!" + +"Dick!" + +His lean blue cheeks slightly reddened as he looked at her. She knew he +had spoken the truth, and was touched. She got up quickly, went to him, +and put one hand on his shoulder. + +"You are afraid of me! But no--I can't believe it!" + +"Ha!" + +He got up. + +"It is finished?" + +"Yes, at last it's done." + +"Has--have you shown--I suppose he has seen it?" + +Garstin shook his head, and a dark lock of hair fell over his forehead. + +"He doesn't even know it is finished, the ruffian! He's given me a +damned lot of trouble. I'll keep him on the gridiron a bit longer. +Grilling will do him good." + +"Then I am the first?" + +"Yes, you are the first." + +"Thank you, Dick," she said soberly. "May I go up now?" + +"Yes, come on!" + +He went before her and mounted the stairs, taking long strides. She +followed him eagerly, yet with a feeling of apprehension. What would +it be--this portrait finished at last? Dick Garstin was cruelly fond of +revelation. She thought of his judge who ought to be judged, of other +pictures of his. Had he caught and revealed the secret of Arabian? + +"Now then!" + +But Garstin still hesitated. + +"Sit here!" + +She obeyed, and sat down on a sofa with the window behind her. + +"I'll have a smoke." + +"Oh!" + +He went to the Spanish cabinet, and stood with his back to her, +apparently searching. He lifted things, put them back. She glowed with +almost furious impatience. At last he found the cigars. Probably he had +never had to seek for them. He lit up. + +"Now then--a drink!" + +"Oh, Dick!" she breathed. + +But she made no other protest. + +"Will you?" + +"No!" she said sharply. + +Then she gazed at him and said: + +"Yes." + +He poured out whisky for her and himself, added some soda water, and +lifted his glass. + +"To Arabian!" he said. + +"Why should we drink to Mr. Arabian?" + +"He has done me a good turn." + +There was a look in his eyes now which she did not like, a very +intelligent and cruel look. She knew it well. It expressed almost +blatantly the man's ruthlessness. She did not inquire what the good turn +was, but raised her glass slowly and drank. + +"Your hand trembles, my girl!" said Garstin. + +"Nonsense! It does not! Now please show me the portrait. I will not wait +any longer." + +"Here you are then!" + +He went over to a distant easel, pulled it forward with its back to +them, then, when it was near to the sofa, turned it round. + +"There he is!" + +Miss Van Tuyn sat very still and gazed. After turning the easel Dick +Garstin had gone to stand behind the sofa and her. She heard him making +a little "t'p! t'p!" with his lips, getting rid, perhaps, of an adherent +scrap of tobacco leaf. After what seemed to both of them a very long +time she spoke. + +"I don't believe it!" she said. "I don't believe it!" + +"Like the man when he saw a giraffe for the first time? But he was +wrong, my girl, for nature does turn out giraffes." + +"No, Dick! It's too bad!" + +Her cheeks were flaming with red. + +"Too bad! Don't you think it's well painted?" + +"Well painted? Of course it's well--it's magnificently painted!" + +He chuckled contentedly behind her. + +"Then what's the matter? What's the trouble?" + +"You know what's the matter. You know quite well." + +She turned sharply round on the sofa and faced him with angry eyes. + +"There was a great actor once whose portrait was painted by a great +artist, an artist as great as you are. It was exhibited and then handed +over to the actor. From that moment it disappeared. No one ever saw it. +The actor never mentioned it. And yet it was a masterpiece. When the +actor died a search was made for the portrait, and it was found hidden +in an attic of his house. It had been slashed almost to pieces with +a knife. Till to-day I could not understand such a deed as that--the +killing of a masterpiece. But now I can understand it." + +"He shall have it and put a knife through it if he likes. But"--he +snapped out the word with sudden fierce emphasis--"_but_ I'll exhibit it +first." + +"He'll never let you!" Miss Van Tuyn almost cried out. + +"Won't he? That was the bargain!" + +"He didn't promise. I remember quite well all that was said. He didn't +promise." + +"It was understood. I told him I should exhibit the picture and that +afterwards I'd hand it over to him." + +"When is he going to see it?" + +"Why do you ask? Do you want to be here when he does?" + +She did not answer. She was staring at the portrait, and now the hot +colour had faded from her face. + +"If you do you can be here. I don't mind." + +"I don't believe it," she repeated slowly. + +All that she had sometimes fancied, almost dimly, and feared about +Arabian was expressed in Garstin's portrait of him. The man was +magnificent on the canvas, but he was horrible. Evil seemed to be subtly +expressed all over him. That was what she felt. It looked out of his +large brown eyes. But that was not all. Somehow, in some curious and +terrible way, Garstin had saturated his mouth, his cheeks, his forehead, +even his bare neck and shoulders with the hideous thing. Danger was +everywhere, the warning that the living man surely did not give, or only +gave now and then for a fleeting instant. + +In Garstin's picture Arabian was unmistakably a being of the underworld, +a being of the darkness, of secret places and hidden deeds, a being of +unspeakable craft, of hideous knowledge, of ferocious cynicism. And yet +he was marvellously handsome and full of force, even of power. It could +not be said that great intellect was stamped on his face, but a fiercely +vital mentality was there, a mentality that could frighten and subdue, +that could command and be sure of obedience. In the eyes of a tiger +there is a terrific mentality. Miss Van Tuyn thought of that as she +gazed at the portrait. + +In her silence now she was trying to get a strong hold on herself. The +first shock of astonishment, and almost of horror, had passed. She was +more sharply conscious now of Garstin in connexion with herself. At last +she spoke again. + +"Of course you realize, Dick, that such a portrait as that is an +outrage. It's a master work, I believe, but it is an outrage. You cannot +exhibit it." + +"But I shall. This man, Arabian, isn't known." + +"How can we tell that?" + +"Do you know a living creature he knows or who knows him?" + +"Everyone has acquaintances. Everyone almost has friends. He must +certainly have both." + +"God knows who or where they are." + +"You cannot exhibit it," she repeated obstinately. + +"I hate art in kid gloves. But this is too merciless. It is more. It is +a libel." + +"That's just where you're wrong." + +"No." + +"Beryl, my girl, you are lying. That's no use with me." + +"I am not lying!" she said with hot anger. + +Suddenly she felt that tears had come into her eyes. + +"How hateful you are!" she exclaimed. + +She felt frightened under the eyes of the portrait. Garstin's revelation +had struck upon her like a blow. She felt dazed by it. Yet she longed +to hit back. She wanted to defend Arabian, perhaps because she felt that +she needed defence. + +Garstin came abruptly round the sofa and sat down by her side. + +"What's up?" he said in a kinder voice. + +"Why do you paint like that? It's abominable!" + +"Tell me the honest truth--God's own truth, as they call it, I don't +know why--is that picture fine, is it my best work, or isn't it?" + +"I've told you already. It's a technical masterpiece and a moral +outrage. You have taken a man for a model and painted a beast." + +"Beryl," he said almost solemnly, "believe it or not, as you can, that +_is_ Arabian!" + +He pointed at the picture as he spoke. His keen eyes, half shut, were +fixed upon it. + +"That _is_ the real man, and what you see is only the appearance he +chooses to give of himself." + +"How do you know? How can you know that?" + +"Haven't I the power to show men and women as in essence they are?" + +His eyes travelled round the big studio slowly, travelled from canvas to +canvas, from the battered old siren of the streets to the girl who was +dreaming of sins not yet committed; from Cora waiting for her prey to +the judge who had condemned his. + +"Haven't I? And don't you know it?" + +"You are wrong this time," she said with mutinous determination, but +still with the tears in her eyes. "You couldn't sum up Arabian. You +tried and tried again. And now at last you have forced yourself to paint +him. You have got angry. That's it. You have got furious with yourself +and with him, because of your own impotence, and you have painted him in +a passion." + +"Oh, no!" + +He shook his head. + +"I never felt colder, more completely master of myself and my passions, +than when I painted that portrait." + +"But you asked me to find out his secret. You pushed me into his company +that I might find it out and help you." + +"I did!" + +"Well!" she said, almost triumphantly, "I have never found it out." + +"Oh, yes, you have." + +"No. He is the most reserved, uncommunicative man I have ever known." + +"Subconsciously you have found it out, and you have conveyed it to me. +And that is the result. I suspected what the man was the first time I +laid eyes on him. When I got him here I seemed to get off the track of +him. For he's very deceptive--somehow. Yes, he's damned deceptive. But +then you put me wise. Your growing terror of him put me wise." + +He looked hard into her eyes. + +"Beryl, my girl, your sex has intuitions. One of them, one of yours, I +have painted. And there it is!" + +The bell sounded below. + +"Ha!" said Garstin, turning his head sharply. + +He listened for an instant. Then he said: + +"I'll bet you anything you like that's the king himself." + +"The king?" + +"In the underworld. Did you walk here?" + +"Yes." + +"He must have seen you. He's followed you. What a lark!" + +His eyes shone with a sort of malicious glee. + +"There goes the bell again! Beryl, I'll have him up. We'll show him +himself." + +He put a finger to his lips and went down, leaving her alone with the +portrait. + + + +CHAPTER III + +"Come up! Come up, my boy! I've something to show you!" + +She heard steps mounting the stairs, and got up from the sofa. She +looked once more at the portrait, then turned round to meet the two men, +standing so that she was directly in front of it. Just then she had a +wish to conceal it from Arabian, to delay, if only for a moment, his +knowledge of what had been done. + +Arabian came into the studio and saw her in her mourning facing him. At +once he came up to her with Dick Garstin behind him. He looked grave, +sympathetic, almost reverential. His brown eyes held a tender expression +of kindness. + +"Miss Van Tuyn! I did not know you were here." + +She saw Garstin smiling ironically. Arabian took her hand and pressed +it. + +"I am glad to see you again." + +His look, his pressure, were full of ardent sympathy. + +"I have been thinking often of you and your great sorrow." + +"Thank you!" she said, almost stammering. + +"And what is it I am to see?" said Arabian, turning to Garstin. + +"Stand away, Beryl!" said Garstin roughly. + +She moved. What else could she do? Arabian saw the portrait and said: + +"Oh, my picture at last!" + +Then he took a step forward, and there was a silence in the studio. + +Miss Van Tuyn looked at the floor at first. Then, as the silence +continued, she raised her eyes to Arabian's. She did not know what she +expected to see, but she was surprised at what she did see. Standing +quite still immediately in front of the picture, with his large eyes +fixed upon it, Arabian was looking very calm. There was, indeed, +scarcely any expression in his face. He had thrust both hands into the +pockets of his overcoat. Miss Van Tuyn wondered whether those hands +would betray any feeling if she could see them. In the calmness of his +face she thought there was something stony, but she was not quite sure. +She was, perhaps, too painfully moved, too violently excited just then +to be a completely accurate observer. And she was aware of that. She +wished Arabian would speak. When was he going to speak? + +"Well?" said Garstin at last, perhaps catching her feeling. "What do +you think of the thing? Are you satisfied with it? I've been a long time +over it, but there it is at last." + +He laughed slightly, uneasily, she thought. + +"What's the verdict?" + +"One moment--please!" said Arabian in an unusually soft voice. + +Miss Van Tuyn was again struck, as she had been struck, when she first +met Arabian in the studio, by the man's enormous self-possession. She +felt sure that he must be feeling furiously angry, yet he did not show a +trace of anger, of surprise, of any emotion. Only the marked softness of +his voice was unusual. He seemed to be examining the picture with quiet +interest and care. + +"Well? Well?" said Garstin at last, with a sort of acute impatience +which betrayed to her that he was really uneasy. "Let's hear what you +think, though we know you don't set up for being a judge of painting." + +"I think it is very like," said Arabian. + +"Oh, Lord--like!" exclaimed Garstin, on an angry gust of breath. "I'm +not a damned photographer!" + +"Should not a portrait be like?" said Arabian, still in the very soft +voice. "Am I wrong, then?" + +"Of course not!" said Miss Van Tuyn, frowning at Garstin. + +At that moment absolutely, and without any reserve, she hated him. + +"Then you're satisfied?" jerked out Garstin. + +"Indeed--yes, Dick Garstin. This is a valuable possession for me." + +"Possession?" said Garstin, as if startled. "Oh, yes, to be sure! You're +to have it--presently!" + +"Quite so. I am to have it. It is indeed very fine. Do not you think so, +Miss Van Tuyn?" + +For the first time since he had seen the portrait he looked away from +it, and his eyes rested on her. She felt that she trembled under those +eyes, and hoped that he did not see it. + +"You do not say! Surely this is a very fine picture?" + +He seemed to be asking her to tell him whether or not the portrait ought +to be admired. There was just then an odd simplicity, or pretence of +simplicity, in his manner which was almost boyish. And his eyes seemed +to be appealing to her. + +"It is a magnificent piece of painting," she forced herself to say. + +But she said it coldly, reluctantly. + +"Then I am not wrong." + +He looked pleased. + +"My eye is not very educated. I fear to express my opinion before people +such as you"--he looked towards Garstin, and added--"and you, Dick +Garstin." + +And then he turned away from the picture with the manner of a man who +had done with it. She was amazed at his coolness, his perfect ease of +manner. + +"May I ask for a cigar, Dick Garstin?" he said. + +"Pardon!" said Garstin gruffly. + +Miss Van Tuyn noticed that he seemed very ill at ease. His rough +self-possession had deserted him. He looked almost shy and awkward. +Before going to the cabinet he went to the easel and noisily wheeled it +away. Then he fetched the cigar and poured out a drink for Arabian. + +"Light up, old chap! Have a drink!" + +There was surely reluctant admiration in his voice. + +Arabian accepted the drink, lit the cigar, sat down, and began to talk +about his flat. At that moment he dominated them both. Miss Van Tuyn +felt it. He talked much more than she had ever before heard him talk in +the studio, and expressed himself better, with more fluency than usual. +Garstin said very little. There was a fixed flush on his cheek-bones and +an angry light in his eyes. He sat watching Arabian with a hostile, and +yet half-admiring, scrutiny, smoking rapidly, nervously, and twisting +his large hands about. + +Presently Miss Van Tuyn got up to go. + +"Going already?" said Garstin. + +"Yes, I must." + +"Oh, well--" + +"I will accompany you," said Arabian. + +She looked away from him and said nothing. Garstin went with them +downstairs and opened the door. + +"Bye-bye!" he said in a loud voice. "See you again soon. Good luck to +you!" + +Arabian held out his hand. + +"Good-bye." + +Miss Van Tuyn nodded without speaking. Garstin shut the door noisily. + +They walked down Glebe Place in silence. When they got to the corner +Arabian said: + +"Are you in a hurry to-day?" + +"No, not specially." + +"Shall we take a little walk? It is not very late." + +"A walk? Where to?" + +"Shall we go along by the river?" + +She hesitated. She was torn by conflicting feelings. She was very angry +with Garstin. She still continued to say, though now to herself, "I +don't believe it! I don't believe it!" And yet she knew that Garstin's +portrait had greatly increased her strange fear of Arabian. + +"This way will take us to the river." + +She knew he was looking straight at her though she did not look at him. +At that moment a remembrance of Craven and Camber flashed through her +mind. + +"Yes, I know," she said, "But--" + +"I am fond of the river," he said. + +"Yes--but in winter!" + +"Let us go. Or will you come back to--" + +"No, I will go. I like it too. London looks its best from the +waterside." + +And she walked on again with him. He said nothing more, and she did not +speak till they had crossed the broad road and were on the path by the +dark river, which flowed at full tide under a heavy blackish grey sky. +Then Arabian spoke again, and the peculiar softness she had noticed that +afternoon had gone out of his voice. + +"I am fortunate, am I not," he said, "to be the possessor of that very +fine picture by Dick Garstin? Many people would be glad to buy it, I +suppose." + +"Oh, yes!" + +"Do you consider it one of Dick Garstin's best paintings? I know you are +a good judge. I wish to hear what you really think." + +"He has never painted anything more finely that I have seen." + +"Ah! That is indeed lucky for me." + +"Yes." + +"I shall send and fetch it away." + +"Oh, but--" + +She stopped speaking. She was startled by his tone and also by what +he had said. She glanced at him, then looked away and across the dark +river. Dead leaves brushed against her feet with a dry, brittle noise. + +"What is that you say, please?" + +"I only--I thought it was arranged that the picture was to be +exhibited," she said, falteringly. + +"Oh, no. I shall not permit Dick Garstin to exhibit that picture." + +Now intense curiosity was born in her and seemed for the moment to +submerge her uneasiness and fear. + +"But wasn't it understood?" she said. + +"Please, what do you say was understood?" + +"Didn't Mr. Garstin say he meant to exhibit the picture and afterwards +give it to you?" + +"But I say that I shall not permit Dick Garstin to exhibit my picture." + +"Why won't you allow it?" she asked. + +In her curiosity she was at last regaining some of her usual +self-possession. She scented a struggle between these two men, both of +them of tough fibre, both of them, she believed, far from scrupulous, +both of them likely to be enormously energetic and determined when +roused. + +"Do you not know?" he asked. + +"No! How can I know such a thing? How can I know what is in your mind +unless you tell me?" + +"Oh, but I will tell you then! I will not let Dick Garstin exhibit that +picture because it is a lie about me." + +"A lie? How can that be?" + +"A man can speak a lie. Is it not so?" + +"Of course." + +"Cannot a man write a lie?" + +"Yes." + +"And a man can paint a lie. Dick Garstin has painted a lie about me." + +"But then--if it is so--" + +"Certainly it is so." + +There was now a hard sound in his voice, and, when she looked at him, +she saw that his face had changed. The quiet self-control which had +amazed her in the studio was evidently leaving him. Or he no longer +cared to exercise it. + +"But, then, do you wish to possess the picture? Do you wish to possess a +lie?" + +"Is it not right that I possess it rather than someone else?" + +"Yes, perhaps it is." + +"Certainly it is. I shall take that picture away." + +"But Dick Garstin intends to exhibit it. I know that. I know he will not +let you have it till it has been shown." + +"What is the law in England that one man should paint a wicked portrait +of another man and that this other should be helpless to prevent it from +being shown to all the world? Is that just?" + +"No, I don't think it is." + +He stopped abruptly and stood by the river wall. It was a cold and +dreary afternoon, menacing and dark. Few people were out in that place. +She stood still beside him. + +"Miss Van Tuyn," he said, looking hard at her with an expression +of--apparently--angry sincerity in his eyes. "This happens. I sit +quietly in the Cafe Royal, a public place. A strange man comes up. Never +have I seen him before. He says himself to be a painter. He asks to +paint me--he begs! I go to his studio, as you know. I hesitate when I +have seen his pictures--all of horrible persons, bad women and a beastly +old man. At last he persuades me to be painted, promising to give me the +picture when finished. He paints and paints, destroys and destroys. I am +patient. I give up nearly all my time to him. I sit there day after day +for hours. At last he has painted me. And when I look I find he has made +of me a beast, a monster, worse than all the other horrible persons. And +when I come in he is showing this monster to you, a lady, my friend, one +I respect and admire above all, and who, perhaps, has thought of me with +kindness, who has been to me in trouble, to my flat, who has told me +her sorrow and put trust in me as in none other. 'Here he is!' says Dick +Garstin. 'This beast, this monster--it is he! Look at him. I introduce +you to Nicolas Arabian!' Am I, in return for such things, to say, 'All +right! Now take this beast, this monster, and show him to all the world +and say, "There is Nicolas Arabian!"' Do you say I should do this?" + +"But I have nothing to do with it." + +"Have you not?" + +Her eyes gave way before his and looked down. + +"Anyhow," he said, "I will not do it. I have a will as well as he." + +"Yes," she thought. "You have a will, a tremendous will." + +"To you," he said, "I show what I would not show to him, that I have +feelings and that I am very much hurt to-day." + +"I am sorry. I told Dick Garstin--" + +"Yes? What?" + +"Before you came I told him he ought not to exhibit the picture." + +"Ah! Thank you! Thank you!" + +He smiled, and the lustrously soft look came into his eyes. + +"A woman--she always knows what a man is!" he said, in a low voice. + +"It is cold standing here!" she said. + +She shivered as she spoke and looked at the water. + +"We will go to my flat," he said, with a sudden air of authority. "There +is a big fire there." + +"Oh, no, I can't!" + +"Why not? You have been there." + +"Yes, but I ought not to have gone. I am in mourning." + +"You go to Dick Garstin. What is the difference?" + +"People are so foolish. They talk." + +"But you go to Dick Garstin!" + +He had turned, and now made her walk back by his side along the river +bank among the whirling leaves. + +"People have begun to talk about us," she said, almost desperately. +"That women, Mrs. Birchington, who lives opposite to you--she's a +gossip." + +"And do you mind such people?" he asked, with an air of surprised +contempt. + +"A girl has to be careful what she does." + +As Miss Van Tuyn said this she marvelled at her own conventionality. +That she should be driven to such banality, she who had defied the +opinion of both Paris and London! + +"Please come once more. I want you to help me." + +"I! How can I help you?" + +"With Dick Garstin. I do not want to fight with that man. I am not what +he thinks, but I do not wish to quarrel. You can help." + +"I don't see how." + +"By the fire I will tell you." + +"I don't think I ought to come." + +"What is life if it is always what ought and what ought not? I do not go +by that. I am not able to think always of that. And do you? Oh, no!" + +He cast a peculiar glance at her, full of intense shrewdness. It made +her remember the Cafe Royal on the evening of her meeting with +the Georgians, her pressure put on Dick Garstin to make Arabian's +acquaintance, her lonely walk in the dark when Arabian had followed +her, her first visit to Garstin's studio, her pretended reason for many +subsequent visits there. This man must surely have understood always the +motive which had governed her in what she had done. His glance told her +that. It pierced through her pretences like a weapon and quivered in the +truth of her. He had always understood her. Was he at last going to let +her understand him? His eyes seemed to say, "Why pretend any longer with +me? You wanted to know me. You chose to know me. It is too late now to +play the conventional maiden with me." + +It is too late now. + +Her will seemed to be dying out of her. She walked on beside him +mechanically. She knew that she was going to do what he wished, that +she was going to his flat again; and when they reached Rose Tree Gardens +without any further protest she got into the lift with him and went up +to his floor. But when he was putting the latchkey into the door the +almost solemn words of Dick Garstin came back to her: "Beryl, believe +it or not, as you can, that _is_ Arabian!" And she hesitated. An intense +disinclination to go into the flat struggled with the intense desire to +yield herself to Arabian's will. Arabian was before her eyes, standing +there by the opening door, and Garstin's portrait was before the eyes of +her mind in all its magnificent depravation. Which showed the real man +and which the unreal? Garstin said that he had painted her intuition +about Arabian, that she knew Arabian's secret and had conveyed it to +him. Was that true? + +"Please!" said Arabian, holding open the door. + +"I cannot come in," she said, in a dull, low voice. + +Beyond the gap of the doorway there lay perhaps the unknown territory +called by Garstin the underworld. She remembered the piercingly shrewd +look Arabian had cast at her by the river, a look which had surely +included her with him in the region which lies outside all the barriers. +But she did not belong to that region. Despite her keen curiosities, her +resolute defiance of the conventions, her intensely modern determination +to live as she chose to live, she would never belong to it. A horrible +longing which she could not understand fought with the fear which +Garstin that day had dragged up from the depths of her to the surface. +But she now gave herself to the fear, and she repeated doggedly: + +"I cannot come in." + +But just at this moment her intention was changed, and her subsequent +action was determined in her by a trifling event, one of those events +which teach the world to believe in Fate. A door, the door of Mrs. +Birchington's flat, clicked behind her. Someone was coming out. + +Instantly, driven by the thought "I mustn't be seen!" Miss Van Tuyn +stepped into Arabian's flat. She expected to hear the front door of it +close immediately behind her. But instead she heard Mrs. Birchington's +high soprano voice saying: + +"Oh, how d'you do? Glad to meet you again!" + +Quickly she opened the second door on the left and stepped into +Arabian's drawing-room. Why had he been so slow in shutting the front +door? She must have been seen. Certainly she had been seen by that +horrible Minnie Birchington. There would be more gossip. It would be all +over London that she was perpetually in this man's flat. Why had not +he shut the door directly she had stepped into the hall? Her nervous +tension found momentary relief in sudden violent anger against him, and +when at length she heard the door shut, and his footstep outside, she +turned round to meet him with fierce resolution. + +"Why did you do that?" + +"Beg pardon!" he said, gently, and looking surprised. + +"Why didn't you shut the front door? That--Mrs. Birchington must have +seen me. I know she has seen me!" + +"I had no time. I could not refuse to speak to her, could I? I could not +be rude to a lady." + +"But I didn't wish her to see me!" + +She was losing her self-control and knew it. She was angry with herself +as well as with him, but she could not regain her self-possession. + +"Why not?" he said, still very gently. "What is the harm? Are we doing +wrong? I cannot see it. I say again, I had no time to shut the door." + +"Did she see me?" + +"Really I do not know." + +He shut the sitting-room door. + +"I hope," he said, "that you are not ashamed to be acquainted with me." + +His voice sounded hurt, and now an expression of acute vexation had come +into his face. + +"Really after what has happened with Dick Garstin to-day I--" + +His face now had an expression almost of pain. + +"I am really not _canaille_," he said. "I am not accustomed to be +thought of and treated as if I were _canaille_." + +"It's all right," she said. "But--you see my mourning! I am in deep +mourning, and I ought not--" + +She stopped. She felt the uselessness of her protest, the ungraciousness +of her demeanour. Without another word she went to the sofa by one of +the windows and sat down. He came and sat down beside her. + +"I want you to help me about Dick Garstin," he said. + +"How? What can I do? I have no influence with him." + +"Oh, yes, you have. A lady like you has always influence with a man." + +"Not with him." + +"But I say you have." + +"What do you want me to do?" + +"I want you to tell him what I have said to you to-day." + +"That you won't have the picture exhibited?" + +"Yes." + +"He'll only laugh." + +"Beg him for your sake to yield." + +"But what have I to do with it?" + +"Very much, I think. It will be better that he yields--really." + +She raised her eyes to his. + +"We do not want a scandal, do we?" + +"But--" + +"If it should come to a fight between Dick Garstin and me there might be +a scandal." + +"But my name wouldn't--" + +Again she was silent. + +"I might try. But it wouldn't be any use." + +He put out a hand and took one of hers. + +"But it all came through you. Didn't it?" + +"But--but you said you had never seen Dick Garstin till he came up and +asked you to sit to him." + +"That was not true. I saw him with you that night at the Cafe Royal. +That is why I came to the studio. I knew I should meet you there. +And--you knew." + +Again the terribly shrewd glance came into his eyes. She saw it and +felt no strength for denial. From the first he must have thoroughly +understood her. + +"You and I, we are not babies," he said gently. "We wanted to know each +other, and so it happened. I have done all this for you. Now I ask you +to tell Dick Garstin for me." + +"I'll do what I can," she said. + +He pressed her hand softly. + +"You are not one of those who are afraid," he said. "You do what you +choose--even at night." + +She thought of the episode in Shaftesbury Avenue. + +"Then you--you--" + +"But I do not need to take a shilling from a lady!" + +"You didn't know me that night!" she said defiantly. + +"Ah, but when I heard you speak in the studio I knew!" + +"And you follow women like that at night!" + +She tried to draw away her hand, but he would not let her. + +"You drew me after you--not knowing. It was what they call occult." + +"Then why did you go away?" + +"I felt that I had been wrong, that you didn't wish me to speak to you." + +"Do you mean when I--that you suspected what I was?" + +"Something said to me, 'This is a lady. She does strange things, she is +not like others, but she is a lady. Go away.'" + +"And in the studio--" + +"When you spoke I knew." + +She felt degraded. She could not explain. And she felt confused. She +did not understand this man. His curious reticence that night, after his +audacity, was inexplicable to her. What could he think of her? What must +he think? + +"I was going out that night to dine in a restaurant in Soho with some +friends," she said, trying to speak very naturally. "I wanted some fresh +air, so I walked." + +"Why not? I beg you to forgive me for my rudeness. I feel very ashamed +of it now. I have learnt in all these days to respect you very much." + +His voice sounded so earnest, so sincere, that she felt suddenly a sense +of relief. After all, he had always treated her with respect. He had +never been impertinent, or even really audacious, and yet he had always +known that she had wanted to meet him, that she had meant to meet him! +He had never taken advantage of that knowledge. If he were really what +Dick Garstin said he was, surely he would have acted differently. + +"Do you really respect me?" she said. + +"Yes. Have I not shown it in all these days? Have I ever done anything a +lady could object to?" + +"No." + +Her hand still lay in his, and his touch had aroused in her that strange +and intense desire to belong to him which seemed a desire entirely of +the body, something with which the mind had little or nothing to do. + +"Are you evil?" her eyes were asking him. + +And his eyes, looking straight down into hers, seemed steadily and +simply to deny it. + +"Do you believe the lie of Dick Garstin?" they said to her. + +And she no longer knew whether she believed it or not. + +He drew a little nearer to her. + +"I respect you--yes," he said. "But that is not all. I have another +feeling for you. I have had it ever since I first saw you that night, +when I was standing by the door in the Cafe Royal and you looked at me." + +"But--but you--" + +"Yes?" + +Her lips trembled. Again jealousy seized her. + +"I saw you that night in Conduit Street," she said. "You thought I +didn't, but I did." + +He still looked perfectly calm and untroubled. + +"You were dining with Dick Garstin. May I not dine with someone?" + +"Then why did you leave the restaurant?" + +"I did not want you to see me." + +"Ah!" + +"I thought you might not understand." + +"I do understand. I understand perfectly!" + +She drew her hand sharply away from his. + +"Are you angry with me?" + +"Angry? No! What does it matter to me?" + +"I am a man. I live alone. My life is lonely. Must I give up everything +before I know that some day I shall have the only thing I really wish? +You know men. You know how we are. I do not defend. I only say that I +am not better than the other men. I want to be happy. If that is not for +me, then I want to make the time pass. I do not pretend. Men generally +pretend very much to beautiful girls. But you would not believe such +nonsense." + +"Then why didn't you stay in the restaurant?" + +"Because I thought to do that would be like an insult for you. Such +girls as that--mud--they must not come into your life even by chance, +even for a few minutes. No man wishes to show himself with mud to a lady +he respects. I tell you just the truth." + +"Have you--have you seen her again?" + +"She is in Paris. She has been in Paris for many days. But she is +nothing. Why speak of such people?" + +"I don't know. But I hate--" + +She moved restlessly. Then she got up and went to the fire. He followed +her. She could not understand her own jealousy. It humiliated her as +she had never been humiliated before. She felt jealous of this man's +absolute freedom, of his past. A sort of rage possessed her when she +thought of all the experiences he must certainly have had. She almost +hated him for those experiences. She wished she could lay hands on them, +tear them out of him, so that he should not have them any longer +in memory's treasury. And yet she knew that, without them, he would +probably attract her much less. + +"Do you care then?" he said. + +"Care?" + +"Do you care what I do?" + +"No, of course not!" + +"But--you do care!" he said. + +He said it without any triumph of the male, quite simply, almost as a +boy might have said it. + +"You do care!" he repeated. + +And very gently, slowly, he put his arm round her, drew her close to +him, bent down and gave her a long kiss. + +For a moment she shut her eyes. She was giving herself up entirely to +physical sensation. Fear, thought, everything except bodily feeling, +seemed to cease in her entirely at that moment. Some fascination which +he possessed, an intense fascination for women, entirely mysterious and +inexplicable, a thing rooted in the body, absolutely overpowered her at +that moment. + +It was he who broke the physical spell. He lifted his lips from hers and +she heard the words: + +"I want you to marry me. Will you?" + +Instantly she was released. A flood of thoughts, doubts, wonderings, +flowed through her. She felt terribly startled. + +Marriage with this man! Marriage with Nicolas Arabian! In all her +thoughts of him she had never included the thought of marriage. Yet she +had imagined many situations in which he and she played their parts. +Wild dreams had come to her in sleepless nights, the dreams that visit +women who are awake under fascination. She had lived through romances +with him. She had been with him in strange places, had travelled with +him in sandy wastes, seen the night come with him in remote corners +of the earth, stood with him in great cities, watched the sea waves +slipping away with him on the decks of Atlantic liners. All this she +had done in imagination with him. But never had she seen herself as his +wife. + +To be the wife of Arabian! + +He let her go directly he felt the surprise in her body. + +"Marry you!" she said. + +"It could not be anything else," he said, very simply. "Could it?" + +She flushed as if he had punished her by his respect for her. + +"But--but we scarcely know each other!" she stammered. + +"You say that now!" + +Again she felt rebuked, as if she were lighter than he and as if he were +surprised by her lightness. + +"But we are only--I mean--" + +"Let us not talk of it then now if you dislike. But I cannot take such +a thing any way but seriously, knowing what you are. I love you; I would +follow you anywhere. Naturally, therefore, I must think of marriage with +you, or that I am to have nothing." + +He stopped. She said nothing; could not say anything. + +"With light women one is light. I do not pretend to be a very good man, +better than the others. Those so very good men, I do not believe in them +very much. But I know that many women are good. Just at first, let me +confess, I was not sure how you were. At the Cafe Royal that night, +seeing you with all those funny people, I made a mistake. I thought, +'She is beautiful. She is audacious. She likes adventures. She wishes +an adventure with me.' And I came to Dick Garstin's thinking of an +adventure. But soon I knew--no! I heard you talk. I got to know your +cultivation, your very fine mind. And then you held back from me, +waiting till you should know me better. That pleased me. It taught me +the value of you. And when at last you did not hold back, were willing +to be alone with me, to lunch with me, to walk with me, I understood you +had made up your mind: 'He is all right!' But, best of all, you at last +asked me to your hotel, introduced me to the dear lady you live with. I +understood what was in your mind: '_She_, too, must be satisfied.' Then +I knew it was not an adventure. And when you told me first about your +sorrow! Ah! That was the great day for me! I knew you would not have +told such a thing, kept from even Dick Garstin, unless you put me in +your mind away from the others. That was a very great day for me!" + +She shivered slightly by the fire. He was telling her things. She could +not in return tell him the truth of herself. Perhaps he really believed +all he had just said. And yet that shrewd glance he had given her by the +river and again in that room! What had it meant if now he had spoken the +truth? + +"I knew then that you cared," he said, quietly and with earnest +conviction. "I knew then that some day I could ask you to marry me. +Anything else--it is impossible between you and me." + +"Yes, of course! I never--you mustn't suppose--" + +"I do not suppose. I know you as now you know me." + +He did not touch her again, though, of course, he must know--any man +must have known by this time--his physical power to charm, even to +overwhelm her. His power over himself amazed her. It proved to her the +strength in his character. The man was strong, and in two ways. She +worshipped strength, but his still made her afraid. + +"Now let us leave it," he said, with a change of manner. "It is getting +dark. It is dreary outside. I will shut the curtains. I will sing to you +in the firelight." + +He went over to the windows, drew down the blinds, pulled forward the +curtains. She watched him, sitting motionless, wondering at herself and +at him. For the moment he was certainly her master. He governed her as +much by what he did not do as by what he did. And it had always been so +ever since she had known him. The assurance in his quiet was enormous. +How many things he must have carried through in his life, the life of +which she knew absolutely nothing! But this--would he carry through +this? She tried to tell herself with certainty that he would not. And +yet, as she looked at him, she was not sure. Will can drown will. Great +power can overcome lesser power, mysteriously sometimes, but certainly. +That play of which she had read an account in the _Westminster Gazette_ +was founded on the possibilities, was based upon a solid foundation. To +the ignorant it might seem grotesque, incredible even, but not to those +who had really studied life and the eddying currents of life. In life, +almost all that is said to be impossible happens at times, though +perhaps not often. And who knows, who can say with absolute certainty, +that he or she is not an exception, was not born an exception? + +As Miss Van Tuyn watched Arabian drawing the curtains across the windows +which looked upon the Thames she did not know positively that she would +not marry him. She remembered her sensation under his kiss. It had been +a sensation of absolute surrender. That was why she had shut her eyes. + +She might shut her eyes again. He might even make her do that. + +After the curtains were drawn, and only the light from the fire lit up +the room, Arabian went over to the piano, a baby grand, and sat down on +the music-stool. He was looking very grave, almost romantically grave, +but quite un-self-conscious. She wondered whether, even now, he cared +what she thought about him. He showed none of the diffidence of the +not-yet-accepted lover, eager to please, anxious about the future. But +he showed nothing of triumph. The firelight played over his face as he +struck a few chords. She wondered whether his manservant was with them +in the flat, or whether they were quite alone--shut in together. He +had not offered her tea. Perhaps the man had gone out. She did not feel +afraid of Arabian at this moment. After what he had said she knew she +had no reason to be afraid of him just now. But if she gave herself +to him, if they ever were married? How would it be then? Life with him +would surely be an extraordinary business. She remembered her solicitude +about not being seen with him in public places. Already that seemed +long ago. Dick Garstin had told her she had travelled. No doubt that was +true. One may travel far perhaps in mind and in feeling without being +self-consciously aware of it. But when one was aware, when one knew, +it must surely be possible to stop. He had made to her a tremendous +suggestion. She could refuse to entertain it. And when she refused, +if she did refuse, what would happen? What would he say, do, when he +realized her determination? How would he take a determined refusal? She +could not imagine. But she knew that she could not imagine Arabian ever +yielding his will to hers in any big matter which would seriously upset +his life. + +"Now, shall I sing to you?" he said, fixing his eyes upon her. + +"Yes, please do," she answered, looking away from him into the fire. + +"You know how I sing. I am not a musician of cultivation, but I have +music in me. I have always had it. I have always sung, even as a boy. +It is natural to me. But I have been very idle in my life. I have never +been able to work, alas!" + +She looked at him again. Always he was playing softly, improvising. + +"Have you really never done any work?" + +"Never. Unfortunately, perhaps, I have always had enough money to be +idle." + +"He's not poor!" she thought. + +And then she felt glad, suddenly remembering how rich she was now, since +the death of her father. + +He said nothing more, but played a short prelude and began to sing in +his small, but warm, tenor voice. And, sitting there by the fire, she +watched him while he sang, and wondered again, as she had wondered in +the studio, at the musical sense that was in him and that could show +itself so easily and completely, without apparently any strong effort. +The fascination she felt in him filled all his music, and appealed not +only to her senses but to her musical understanding. She had a genuine +passion for the right in all the arts, for the inevitable word in +literature, the inevitable touch of colour that lights up a painting, +fusing the whole into harmony, the inevitable emotional colouring of a +musical phrase, the slackening or quickening of time, which make a song +exactly what it should be. And to that passion he was able to appeal +with his gift. He sang two Italian songs, and she felt Italy in them. +Then he sang in French, and finally in Spanish--guitar songs. And +presently she gave herself entirely to him as a singer. He had +temperament, and she loved that. It meant, perhaps, too much to her. +That, no doubt, was what drew her to him more surely than his remarkable +physical beauty--temperament which has the keys of so many doors, and +can open them at will, showing glimpses of wonderful rooms, and of +gardens bathed in sunshine or steeped in mysterious twilight, and of +savage wastes, the wilderness, the windy tracts by the sea, landscapes +in snow, autumn breathing in mist; temperament which can even simulate +knowledge, and can rouse all the under-longings which so often lie +sleeping and unknown in women. + +"With that man I could never be dull!" + +That thought slipped through her while she listened. Where did he come +from? In how many lands had he lived? How had his life been passed? She +ought to know. Perhaps some day he would tell her. He must surely tell +her. One cannot do great things which affect one's life in the dark. + +Dark--that's his word! When had she thought that? She remembered. It +had been in that room. And since then she had seen Garstin's terrible +portrait. + +But he was like a palm tree singing. Even Garstin had been forced to say +that of him. + +When at last he stopped all the artistic part of her was under his +spell. He had, perhaps deliberately, perhaps at haphazard--she could not +tell--aroused in her a great longing for multifarious experiences +such as she had never yet suffered under or enjoyed. He had let her +recklessness loose from its tethering chain. Was she just then the same +woman who a short time ago had feared Minnie Birchington's curious eyes? +She could scarcely believe it. + +He got up from the piano. She too got up. He came up to her, put his +hands on her shoulders gently, pressed them, contracting his strong +brown fingers, and said, looking down into her eyes: + +"How beautiful you are! Mon Dieu! how beautiful you are!" + +And her vanity was gratified as it had never been gratified before +by all the compliments she had received, by all the longings she had +aroused in men. + +Still holding her shoulders he said: + +"Do something for me to-night." + +"What is it? What do you want?" + +"Oh, only a very simple thing." + +She felt disappointed, but she said nothing. + +"Let us dine together to-night! Afterwards I will take you to your hotel +and leave you to think." + +He smiled down at her. + +"I am no longer afraid to let you think. Will you come?" + +"Yes," she said. + +"Where was it you were walking to that night when I was so rude as to +follow after you?" + +"To a restaurant in Soho." + +"Yes?" + +"To the _Bella Napoli_." + +"_Napoli_!" + +He half shut his eyes. + +"I love Naples. Is it Italian?" + +"Yes." + +"Really Italian?" + +"Yes." + +"Let us go there. And before we go I will sing you a street song of +Naples." + +"You--you are not a Neapolitan?" she asked. + +"No. I come from South America. But I know Naples very, very well. +Listen!" + +And almost laughing, and looking suddenly buffo, he spoke a few +sentences in the Neapolitan patois. + +"Ah, they are rascals there! But one forgives them because they are +happy in their naughtiness, or at any rate they seem happy. And there +is nothing like happiness for getting forgiveness. We will be happy +to-night, and we shall get forgiven. We will go to the _Bella Napoli_." + +She did not say "yes" or "no." She was thinking at that moment of Craven +and Adela Sellingworth. It was just possible that they might be there. +But if they were? What did it matter? Minnie Birchington had seen her +with Arabian. Lady Archie Brooke had seen her. Craven had seen her. +And why should she be ashamed. Ought and ought not! Had she ever been +governed in her life and her doing by fear of opinion? + +"Do you say yes?" he asked. "Or must you go back to dear Mademoiselle +Cronin?" + +She shook her head. + +"Then what do you say?" + +"Yes, I'll go there with you," she answered. + +But there was a sound of defiance in her voice, and at that moment +she had a feeling that she was going to do something more decisively +unconventional, even more dangerous, than she had ever yet done. + +If _they_ were there! She remembered Craven's look at Arabian. She +remembered, too, the change in Arabian's face as Craven had passed them. + +But Craven had gone back to Adela Sellingworth. Arabian, perhaps, had +been the cause of that return. + +"Why do you look like that? What are you thinking of?" + +"Naples," she said. + +"I will sing you the street song. And then, presently, we will go. I +know we must not be too late, or your dear Mademoiselle Cronin will be +frightened about you." + +He left her, and went once more to the piano. + + + +CHAPTER IV + +About seven o'clock that evening Lady Sellingworth was sitting alone in +her drawing-room. Sir Seymour Portman had been with her for an hour and +had left her at half past six, believing that she was going to spend +one of her usual solitary evenings, probably with a book by the fire. He +would gladly, even thankfully, have stayed to keep her company. But +no suggestion of that kind had been made to him. And, beyond calling +regularly at the hour when he believed that he was welcome, he never +pressed his company upon his dearly loved friend. Even in his great +affection he preserved a certain ceremoniousness. Even in his love he +never took a liberty. In modern days he still held to the reserve of +the very great gentleman, old-fashioned perhaps now, but nevertheless +precious in his sight. + +He would have been not a little surprised had he been able to see his +Adela at this moment. + +She had changed the plain black gown in which she had received him, and +was dressed in dark red velvet. She wore a black hat. Two big rubies +gleamed in her ears, and there was another, surrounded with diamonds, +at her throat. Her gown was trimmed with an edging of some dark fur. +As usual her hands were covered by loose white gloves. She was shod for +walking out. Her eyebrows had been carefully darkened. There was some +artificial red on her lips. Her white hair was fluffed out under the +hat brim, and looked very thick and vital. Her white skin was smooth +and even. Her eyes shone, as Cecile had just told her, "_comme deux +lampes_." She was a striking figure as she sat on her sofa very upright +near a lamp, holding a book in her hand. She even looked very handsome +and, of course, very distinguished. But her face was anxious, her bright +eyes were uneasy, and there was a perceptible stamp of artificiality +upon her. A woman would have noticed it instantly. Even an observant man +would probably not have missed it. + +She seemed to be reading at first, and presently there was a faint +rustle. She had turned a page. But soon she put the book down in her +lap, still keeping her hand on it, and sat looking about the room. The +clock chimed seven. She moved and sighed. Then again she sat very still +like one listening. After a while she lifted the book, glanced at it +again, and then put it down, got up and went to the fireplace. She +turned on the lights there, leaned forward and looked into the glass. +Her face became stern with intentness when she did that. She put up a +hand to her hair, turned her head a little to one side, smiled faintly, +then a little more, and looked grave, then earnest. Finally she put both +her hands on the mantelpiece, grasped it and stared into the glass. + +In that moment she was feeling afraid. + +She had arranged to dine with Alick Craven once more at the _Bella +Napoli_. He would come for her in a few minutes. She was wondering very +much how exactly she would appear to him, how old, how good-looking--or +plain. She had tried, with Cecile's help, to look her very best. Cecile +had declared the result was a success. "_Miladi est merveilleusement +belle ce soir, mais vraiment belle!_" But a maid, of course, would not +scruple to lie about such a matter. One could not depend on a maid's +word. She was in love with Alick Craven, desperately in love as only an +elderly woman can be with a man much younger than herself. And that love +made her afraid. + +There was a tiny mole on her face, near the mouth. She wished she +had had it removed in Geneva. Why had not she had that done? No doubt +because she was so accustomed to it that for years she had never thought +of it, had never even seen it. Now suddenly she saw it, and it seemed +to her noticeable, an ugly blemish. Anyone who looked at her must surely +look at it, think of it. For a moment she felt desperate about it, and +her whole body was suddenly hot as if a flame went over it. Then the +mocking look came into her eyes. She was trying to laugh at herself. + +"He doesn't think of me in _that_ way! No man will ever think of me in +_that_ way again!" + +But the mocking expression died out and the fear did not go. She was +afraid of Craven's young eyes. It was terrible to feel so humble, +so full of trembling diffidence. Oh, for a moment of the conquering +sensation she had sometimes known in the years long ago when men had +made her aware of her power! + +Since their meeting in Dindie Ackroyde's drawing-room her friendship +with Craven, renewed, had grown into something like intimacy. But there +was an uneasiness in it which she felt acutely. There were humbug and +fear in this friendship. Because she was desperately in love she was +forced to be insincere with Craven. Haunted perpetually by the fear of +losing what she had, the liking of a man who was not, and could never +be, in love with her, she had to give Craven the impression that she +was beyond the age of love, that the sensations of love were dead in her +beyond hope of resurrection. She had to play at detachment when her one +desire was to absorb and to be absorbed, had to sustain an appearance of +physical coldness while she was burning with physical fever. She had to +create a false atmosphere about her, and to do it so cleverly that it +seemed absolutely genuine, the emanation of her personality in unstudied +naturalness. + +Her lack of all affection helped her to deceive. Though in moments she +might seem constrained, oddly remote, frigidly detached, she was never +affected. Now and then Craven had wondered about her, but he had never +guessed that she was acting a part. The charm of her was still active +about him, and it was the charm of apparent sincerity. To him so far the +false atmosphere seemed real, and he was not aware of the fear. + +Lady Sellingworth feared being found out by Craven, and feared what +might happen if he found out that she was in love with him. She feared +her age and the addition each passing day made to it. She feared her +natural appearance, and now strove to conceal it as much as possible +without being unskilful or blatant. And she feared the future terribly. + +For Time galloped now. She often felt herself rushing towards the abyss +of the seventies. + +The worst of it all was that in humbug she was never at ease. Instead +of, like many women, living comfortably in insincerity, she longed to be +sincere. To love as she did and be insincere was abominable to her. To +her insincerity now seemed to be the direct contradiction of love. Often +when she was deceiving Alick Craven she felt almost criminal. Perhaps +if she had been much younger she might not have been so troubled in the +soul by the necessity for constant pretence. But to those who are of any +real worth the years bring a growing need of sincerity, a growing hunger +which only true things can satisfy. And she knew that need and suffered +that hunger. + +She was feeling it now as she waited for Craven. She longed to be able +to let him see her as she was and to be accepted by him as she was. +But he would not accept her. She knew that. He did not want her as she +wanted him. He was satisfied with things as they were. She was at a +terrible disadvantage with him, for she was in his power, while he was +not in hers. He could ruin such happiness as she now had. But she could +not ruin his happiness. If he gave her up she would be broken, though +probably no one would know it. But if she gave him up he would not mind +very much, though no doubt his pride would be hurt. Perhaps, even now, +she was only a palliative in his life. Beryl Van Tuyn had evidently +treated him badly. He turned to others for some casual consolation. + +Lady Sellingworth often wondered painfully what Craven felt about the +American girl. Was she only comforting Craven, playing a sort of dear +old mother's part to him? Did he come to her because he considered her +a skilful binder up of wounds? Could Beryl whenever she chose take him +away? + +Lady Sellingworth's instinct told her that while she had been abroad +Craven and Beryl had travelled in their friendship. But she did not yet +know exactly how far Craven had gone. It seemed evident now that Beryl +had been suddenly diverted, no doubt by some strong influence, on to +another track; Lady Sellingworth knew that she and Craven were no +longer meeting. Something had happened which had interfered with their +intimacy. Rumour said that Beryl Van Tuyn was in love with another man, +with this Nicolas Arabian, whom nobody knew. Everyone in the Coombe set +was talking about it. How keenly did Craven feel this sudden defection? +That it had hurt his young pride Lady Sellingworth was certain. But she +was not certain whether it had seriously wounded his heart. + +"Am I a palliative?" she thought as she gazed into the glass. + +And then came the terrible question: + +"How can I be anything else?" + +She heard the door opening behind her, took her hands from the +mantelpiece, and turned round quickly. + +"Mr. Craven, my lady." + +"You're all ready? Capital! I say, am I late?" + +"No. It's only a little past seven." + +He had taken her hand. She longed to press his, but she did not press +it. He looked at her, she thought, rather curiously. + +"I've got a taxi at the door. It's rather a horrid night. You're not +dressed for walking?" + +Again his look seemed to question her. + +She put up a hand to her face, near the mouth, nervously. + +"We had better drive. In these winter evenings walking isn't very +pleasant. We must be a little less Bohemian in taste, mustn't we?" + +He seemed now slightly constrained. His eyes did not rest upon her quite +naturally, she thought. + +"Shall we go down?" she said. + +"Yes, do let us." + +As she moved to go she looked into the glass. She could not help doing +that. He noticed it, and thought: + +"I wonder why she has begun making her face up like this?" + +He did not like it. He preferred her as she had been when he had first +come to her house on an autumn evening. To him there was something +almost distressing in this change which he noticed specially to-night. +And her look into the glass had shown him that she was preoccupied about +her appearance. Such a preoccupation on her part seemed foreign to her +character as he had conceived of it. Her greatest charm had been her +extraordinary lack, or apparent lack, of all self-consciousness. She had +never seemed to bother about herself, to be thinking of the impression +she was making on others. + +But she was certainly looking very handsome. + +She put on a fur. They got into the cab and drove to Soho. + +Craven had ordered the table in the window to be reserved for them. The +restaurant was fairly, but not quite, full. The musicians were in their +accustomed places looking very Italian. The lustrous _padrona_ smiled a +greeting to them from her counter. Their bright-eyed waitress hurried up +and welcomed them in Italian. Vesuvius erupted at them from the walls. +There was a cozy warmth in the unpretentious room, an atmosphere of +careless intimacy and good fellowship. + +"Let me take off your fur!" + +She slipped out of it, and he hung it up on a hook among hats and coats +which looked as if they could never have anything to do with it. + +"I'll sit with my back to the window," she said. She sat down, and he +sat on her left facing the entrance. + +Then the menu was brought, and they began to consult about what they +would eat. She did not care what it was, but she pretended to care very +much. To do that was part of the game. If only she could think of all +this as a game, could take it lightly, merrily! She resolved to make a +strong effort to conquer the underlying melancholy which had accompanied +her into this new friendship, and which she could not shake off. It came +from a lost battle, from a silent and great defeat. She was afraid of +it, for it was black and profound beyond all plumbing. Often in her ten +years of retirement she had felt melancholy. But this was a new sort of +sadness. There was an acrid edge to it. It had the peculiar and subtle +terror of a grief that was not caused only by events, but also, and +specially, by something within herself. + +"Gnocchi--we must have gnocchi!" + +"Oh, yes." + +"But wait, though! There are ravioli! It would hardly do to have both, I +suppose, would it?" + +"No; they are too much alike." + +"Then which shall we have?" + +She was going to say, "I don't mind!" but remembered her role and said: + +"Please, ravioli for me." + +And she believed that she said it with gusto, as if she really did care. + +"For me too!" said Craven. + +And he went on considering and asking, with his dark head bent over the +menu and his blue eyes fixed upon it. + +"There! That ought to be a nice dinner!" he said, at last. "And for wine +Chianti, I suppose?" + +"Yes, Chianti Rosso," she answered, with the definiteness, she hoped, of +the epicure. + +This small fuss about what they were going to eat marked for her the +severing difference between Craven's mental attitude at this moment and +hers. For him this little dinner was merely a pleasant way of spending a +casual evening in the company of one who was kind to him, whom he found +sympathetic, whom he admired probably as a striking representative of +an era that was past, the Edwardian era. For her it was an event full +of torment and joy. The joy came from being alone with him. But she +was tortured by yearnings which he knew nothing of. He was able to give +himself out to her naturally. She was obliged to hold herself in, to +conceal the horrible fact that she was obsessed by him, that she was +longing to commit sacrifices for him, to take him as her exclusive +possession, to surround him with love and worship. He wanted from her +what she was apparently giving him and nothing more. She wanted from +him all that he was not giving her and would never give her. The dinner +would be a tranquil pleasure for him, and a quivering torture for her, +mingled with some moments of forgetfulness in which she would have a +brief illusion of happiness. She made the comparison and thought +with despair of the unevenness of Fate. Meanwhile she was smiling and +praising the vegetable soup sprinkled with Parmesan cheese. + +One of the musicians came up to their table, and inquired whether the +_signora_ would like any special thing played. Lady Sellingworth shook +her head. She was afraid of their songs of the South, and dared not +choose one. + +"Anything you like!" she said. + +"They are all much the same," she added to Craven. + +"But I thought you were so fond of the songs of Naples and the Bay. +Don't you remember that first evening when--" + +"Yes, I remember," she interrupted him, almost sharply. "But still these +songs are really all very much alike. They all express the same sort of +thing--Neapolitan desires." + +"And not only Neapolitan desires, I should say," said Craven. + +At that moment a hard look came into his eyes, a grimness altered his +mouth. His face completely changed, evidently under the influence of +some sudden and keen gust of feeling. He slightly bent his head, and the +colour rose in his cheeks. + +Lady Sellingworth who, for the moment, had been wholly intent on +Craven, now looked to see what had caused this sudden and evidently +uncontrollable exhibition of feeling. She saw two people, a tall girl +and a man, walking down the restaurant towards the further end. The girl +she immediately recognized. + +"Oh--there's Beryl!" she said. + +Her heart sank as she looked at Craven. + +"Yes," he said. + +"Did she see me?" + +"I don't know. Probably she did. But she seemed in a hurry." + +"Oh! Whom is she with?" + +"That fellow they are all talking about, Arabian. At least, I suppose +so. Anyhow, it's the fellow I saw in Glebe Place. Ah, there they go with +_Sole mio_!" + +The musicians were beginning the melody of which Italians never seem to +weary. Lady Sellingworth listened to it as she looked down the long and +narrow room now crowded with people. Beryl Van Tuyn was standing by a +table near the wall. Lady Sellingworth saw her in profile. Her companion +stood beside her with his back to the room. Lady Sellingworth noticed +that he was tall with an athletic figure, that he was broad-shouldered, +that his head was covered with thickly growing brown hair. He gave her +the impression of a strong and good-looking man. She gazed at him with +an interest she scarcely understood at that moment, an interest surely +more intense than even the gossip she had heard about him warranted. + +He helped Miss Van Tuyn out of her coat, then took off his, and went to +hang them on a stand against the wall. In doing this he turned, and for +a moment showed his profile to Lady Sellingworth. She saw the line of +his brown face, his arm raised, his head slightly thrown back. + +So that was Nicolas Arabian, the man all the women in the Coombe set +were gossiping about! She could not see him very well. He was rather +a long way off, and two moving people, a waitress carrying food, an +Italian man going to speak to a gesticulating friend, intervened and +shut him out from her sight while he was still arranging the coats. But +there was something in his profile, something in his movement and in +the carriage of his head which seemed familiar to her. And she drew her +brows together, wondering. Craven spoke to her through the music. She +looked at him, answered him. Then once more she glanced down the room. +Beryl and Arabian had sat down. Beryl was facing her. Arabian was at the +side. Lady Sellingworth still saw him in profile. He was talking to the +waitress. + +"I am sure I know that man's face!" Lady Sellingworth thought. + +And she expressed her thought to Craven. + +"If that is Nicolas Arabian I think I must have seen him about London," +she said. "His side face seems familiar to me somehow." + +Why would not Beryl look at her? + +"I wonder whether Beryl saw me when she came in," continued Lady +Sellingworth. "She saw you, of course." + +"Yes, she saw me." + +From the sound of Craven's voice, from the constraint of his manner, +Lady Sellingworth gathered the knowledge that her evening was spoilt. +A few minutes before she had been quivering with anxiety, had been +struggling to conquer the melancholy which, she knew, put her at a +disadvantage with Craven, had been seized with despair as she compared +her fate with his. Now she looked back at that beginning of the evening +and thought of it as happy. For Craven had seemed contented then. Now he +was obviously restless, ill at ease. He never looked down the room. +He devoted himself to her. He talked even more than usual. But she was +aware of effort in it all, and knew that his thoughts were with Beryl +Van Tuyn and the stranger who seemed vaguely familiar to her. + +Formerly--with what intensity she remembered, visualized, the +occasions--Craven had been restless with Beryl Van Tuyn because he +wished to be with her; now he was restless with her. And she did not +need to ask herself why. + +This remembrance made her feel angry in her despair. Her hatred of Beryl +revived. She recalled the girl's cruelty to her. Now Beryl had been +cruel to Craven. And yet Craven was longing after her. What was the good +of kindness, of the warm heart full of burning desires to be of use, to +comfort, to bring joy into a life? The cruel fascinated, perhaps were +even loved. Men were bored by any love that was wholly unselfish. + +But was her love unselfish? She put that question from her. She felt +injured, wounded. It was difficult for her any longer to conceal her +misery. But she tried to talk cheerfully, naturally. She forced her lips +to smile. She praised the excellence of the cooking, the efforts of the +musicians. + +Nevertheless the conversation presently languished. There was no +spontaneity in it. All around them loud voices were talking volubly in +Italian. She glanced from table to table. It seemed to her that everyone +was feeling happy and at ease except herself and Craven. They were ill +matched. She became horribly self-conscious. She felt as if people were +looking at them with surprise, as if an undercurrent of ridicule was +creeping through the room. Surely many were wondering who the painted +old woman and the young man were, why they sat together in the corner +by the window! She saw one of the musicians smile and whisper to the +companion beside him, and felt certain he was speaking about her, was +smiling, at some ugly thought which he had just put into words. + +To an Italian she must certainly seem an old wreck of a woman, "_una +vecchia_," an object of contempt, or of smiling pity. She looked down at +her red dress, remembered the jewels in her ears and at her throat. How +useless and absurd were her efforts to look her best! A terrible phrase +of Caroline Briggs came into her mind: "I feel as if I were looking at +bones decked out in jewels." And again she was back in Paris ten years +ago; again she saw a contrast bizarre as the contrast she and Craven now +presented to the crowd in the restaurant. Before the eyes of her mind +there rose an old woman in a black wig and a marvellously handsome young +man. + +Suddenly a thrill shot through her. It was like a sharp physical pain, a +sword-thrust of agony. + +That profile which had seemed vaguely familiar to her just now, was it +not like his profile? She tried to reason with herself, to tell herself +that she was yielding to a crazy fancy, brought about by her nervous +excitement and by the mental pain she was suffering. Many men slightly, +sometimes markedly, resemble other men. One face seen in profile is +often very much like another. But the even dark brown of the complexion! +That was not very common, not the type of complexion one sees every day. + +She glanced at the men near to her. Most of them were Italians and +swarthy. But not one had that peculiar, almost bronze-like darkness. + +Beryl had spoken of "a living bronze." + +Craven was speaking to her again. She forced herself to reply to him, +though she scarcely knew what she was saying. She saw a look of surprise +in the eyes which he fixed on her. + +"Isn't it getting very hot?" she said quickly. + +"It is rather hot. Shall I ask them to open the window a little? But it +is just behind you." + +"It doesn't matter. I have brought my fan." + +She picked the fan up and began to use it unsteadily. + +"The room is so very crowded to-night," she murmured. + +"Yes. No wonder with such cooking. Here is the Zabaione." + +The waitress put two large glasses before them filled with the thick +yellow custard, then brought them a plate of biscuits. + +Lady Sellingworth laid down the fan and picked up her spoon. She must +eat. But she did not know how she was going to force herself to do it. +Although she kept on saying to herself: "It's impossible!" she could +not get rid of the horrible suspicion which had assailed her. On the +contrary, it seemed to grow in her till it was almost a conviction. +She tried to eat tranquilly. She praised the Zabaione. She sipped her +Chianti Rosso. But she tasted nothing, and when the musicians struck up +another melody she did not know what they were playing. + +"Are you tired of it?" + +Craven had spoken to her. + +"Of what?" she asked, as if almost startled. + +"That--Santa Lucia?" + +"Oh--is it?" + +He looked astonished. + +"Oh--yes, I must say I am rather sick of it!" she said quickly. + +She laid down her spoon. + +"Don't you like the Zabaione?" + +"Yes, it's delicious. But I have had enough. You ordered such a very +good dinner!" + +She began to use her fan again. The noise of voices in the room was +becoming like the noise of voices in a nightmare. She was longing to +confirm or banish her suspicion by a long look at Beryl's companion. +She felt sure now that if she looked again at Arabian she would be +absolutely certain, even from a distance, whether he was or was not the +man who had brought about the robbery of her jewels at the Gard du Nord +ten years ago. Her mind was fully awake now, and she would be able to +see. But, knowing that, she did not dare to look towards Arabian. She +was miserable in her uncertainty, but she was afraid of having her +horrible suspicion confirmed. She was a coward at that moment, and she +knew it. + +Craven finished his Zabaione and put down his spoon. They had not +ordered another course. The dinner was over. But they had not had their +coffee yet, and he asked for it. + +"Are you going to smoke a Toscana?" she said, forcing herself to smile. + +"Yes, I think I will. Do let me give you a cigarette." + +He drew out his case and offered it to her. She took a cigarette, lit +it, and began to smoke. Their coffee was brought. + +"Oh, it's too hot to drink!" she said, almost irritably. + +"But we aren't in a hurry, are we?" he said, looking at her with +surprise. + +"No, of course not." + +Now she was gazing resolutely down at the tablecloth. She was afraid to +raise her eyes, was afraid of what they might see. Her whole mind now +was bent upon getting away from the restaurant as soon as possible. She +had decided to go without making sure whether Arabian was the man who +had robbed her or not. Even uncertainty would surely be better than +a certainty that might bring in its train necessities too terrible to +contemplate mentally. + +As she was looking down she did not see something which just then +happened in the room. It was this: + +Miss Van Tuyn, who had not said a word to Arabian of her friends who +were dining by the window, although she guessed that he had probably +noticed Alick Craven when they came in, resolved to take a bold step. +It was useless any longer to play for concealment. Since she came out to +dine in public with Arabian, since he had asked her to marry him and she +had not refused--though she had not accepted--since she knew very +well that she had not the will power to send him out of her life, she +resolved to do what she had not done in Glebe Place and introduce him +to Craven. She even decided that if it seemed possible that the two men +could get on amicably for a few minutes she would go a step farther; she +would introduce Arabian to Adela Sellingworth. + +Adela should see that she, Beryl, was absolutely indifferent to what +Craven did, or did not do. And Craven should be made to understand that +she went on her way happily without him, and not with an old man, though +he had chosen as his companion an old woman. And, incidentally, she +would put Arabian to the test which had been missed in Glebe Place. With +this determination in her mind she said to Arabian: + +"There are two friends of mine at the table in the corner by the +window." + +"Yes?" he said. + +And he turned his head to look. + +As he did so, perhaps influenced by his eyes, or by the fact that the +attention of two minds was at that moment concentrated on him, Craven +looked towards them. + +"I want to introduce you to them if possible," said Miss Van Tuyn. + +And she made a gesture to Craven, beckoned to him to come to her. He +looked surprised, reluctant. She saw that he flushed slightly. But she +persisted in her invitation. She had lost her head in Glebe Place, but +now she would retrieve the situation. Vanity, fear, an obscure jealousy, +and something else pushed her on. And she beckoned again. She saw Craven +lean over and say something to Lady Sellingworth. Then he got up and +came down the room towards her, threading his way among the many tables. + +Miss Van Tuyn was looking at him just then and not at Arabian. + +Craven came up, looking stiff, almost awkward, and markedly more English +than usual. At least she thought so. + +"How d'you do, Miss Van Tuyn? How are you?" + +She gave him her hand with a smile. + +"Very well! You see, I've not forgotten my old haunts. And I see you +haven't, either. Let me introduce you to my friend, Mr. Arabian. Mr. +Craven--Mr. Arabian." + +Arabian got up and bowed. + +"Pleased to meet you!" he said in a formal voice. + +"Good evening!" said Craven, staring hard at him. + +"I mustn't ask you to sit down," said Miss Van Tuyn. "As you are tied +up with Adela. But"--she hesitated for an instant, then continued with +hardihood--"can't you persuade Adela to join us for coffee?" + +At this moment Arabian made a movement and opened his lips as if about +to say something. + +"Yes?" she said, looking at him. + +"I was only going to say that these tables are so very small. Is it not +so? How should we manage?" + +"Oh, we can tuck in somehow." + +She turned again to Craven. + +"Do ask her. Or we might come over to you." + +"Very well!" said Craven, still stiffly. + +He glanced round towards the window and started. + +"What's the matter?" + +Miss Van Tuyn leaned forward and looked. + +There was no longer anyone sitting at the table by the window. + +Lady Sellingworth had disappeared. + + + +CHAPTER V + +"What has become of Adela?" exclaimed Miss Van Tuyn. + +"I haven't the least idea," said Craven, looking uncomfortable. +"Perhaps--She complained of the heat just now. She may have gone to the +door to get some air. Please forgive me!" + +He glanced from Miss Van Tuyn to Arabian, who was still standing up +stiffly, with a rigidly polite expression on his face. + +"I must just see!" + +He turned away and walked down the restaurant. + +When he got to the counter where the _padrona_ sat enthroned he found +their waitress standing near it. + +"Where is the signora?" he asked. + +"The signora took her fur and went out, signorino," said the woman. + +"The bill, please!" + +"_Ecco, signorino!_" + +The woman presented the bill. Craven paid it, tipped her, got his coat +and hat, and went hurriedly out. + +He expected to find Lady Sellingworth on the doorstep, but no one was +there, and he looked down the street, first to the right, then to the +left. In the distance on the left he saw the tall figure of a woman +walking slowly near a lamp-post, and he hurried down the street. + +As his footsteps rang on the pavement the woman turned round, and showed +the white face and luminous eyes of Lady Sellingworth. + +"You have given me quite a turn, as the servants say!" he exclaimed, +coming up to her. "What is the matter? Are you ill?" + +He looked anxiously at her. + +"What made you go away so suddenly? You didn't mind my--" + +"No, no!" she interrupted. "But I do feel unwell. I feel very unwell." + +"I'm most awfully sorry! Why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me +leave you?" + +"Beryl wanted you." + +"It was only--she only wanted to suggest our all having coffee +together." + +Her mouth went awry. + +"Oh, do take my arm!" he exclaimed. "What is it? Are you suffering?" + +After a pause she said: + +"Yes." + +There seemed to him something ominous in the sound of the word as she +spoke it. + +"I'm horribly sorry. I must find you a cab." + +"Yes, please do." + +"But in Soho, it's so difficult! Can you manage--can you walk a little +way?" + +"Oh yes." + +"Directly we get into Shaftesbury Avenue we are sure to see one. It's +only a step." + +She had taken his arm, but she did not lean heavily on it, only just +touched it. He hardly felt the weight of her hand. Evidently she was not +feeling faint, or very weak. He wondered intensely what was the matter. +But she did not give any explanation. She had made that ominous answer +to his question, and there she left it. He did not dare to make any +further inquiry, and as she said nothing they walked on in silence. As +they were turning into Shaftesbury Avenue an empty taxicab passed them +with the flag up. + +"There's a taxi!" said Craven. "One minute!" + +He let her arm go and ran after it, while she stood waiting at the +corner. In a moment he came back followed by the cab, which drew up by +the kerb. He opened the door and she got in. He was preparing to follow +her when she leaned forward and put her hand on the door. + +"Mayn't I? Don't you wish me to come with you?" + +She shook her head. + +"But do let me see you home. If you are ill you really oughtn't to be +alone." + +"But I'm spoiling your evening. Why not go back?" + +"Go back?" + +"Yes--go back to Beryl?" + +He stiffened, and the hard look came into his face. She saw his jaw +quiver slightly. + +"To Miss Van Tuyn? But she is with someone." + +"But she asked you!" + +"She asked both of us. I shall certainly not go back alone." + +"Really, I wish you would! Go back and--and see Beryl home." + +He looked at her in astonishment. + +"Oh, I couldn't possibly do that! There was no suggestion--I couldn't do +that, really. I wonder you ask me to. Well--" + +She took her hand away from the door and he shut it. But he remained +beside it--did not give the chauffeur her address. + +"Why won't you let me take you back?" he said. "I don't understand." + +She smiled, and he thought it was the saddest smile he had ever seen. + +"One is only a bore to others when one is ill," she said. "Good-bye. +Tell the man, please." + +He obeyed her, then took off his hat. His face was grim and perplexed. +As she was driven away in the night she gave him a strange look; tragic +and pleading, he thought, a look that almost frightened him, that sent a +shiver through him. + +"Is she horribly ill?" he asked himself. "What can it be? Perhaps +she did go to Switzerland to see a doctor. Perhaps . . . can he have +condemned her to death?" + +He shivered again. The expression of her eyes haunted him. + +He stood for a moment at the street corner, pondering over her words. +What could have induced her to ask him to go back to Beryl Van Tuyn, to +see Beryl Van Tuyn home? She wanted him to interfere between Miss Van +Tuyn and that man, Nicolas Arabian! She tried metaphorically to push +him towards Miss Van Tuyn. It was inexplicable. Lady Sellingworth was a +woman of the world, past mistress of all the _convenances_, one in whom +any breach of good manners was impossible, unthinkable! And yet she had +asked him to go back to the restaurant, and to thrust himself into the +company of a girl and a man who were dining by themselves. She had +even asked him, a young fellow, certainly younger than Beryl Van Tuyn's +escort, to play the part of chaperon to the girl! + +Did she--could she know something about Arabian? + +Certainly she did not know him. In the restaurant she had inquired who +he was. But, later, she had said that his profile seemed familiar to +her, that perhaps she had seen him about London. Her departure from the +restaurant had been strangely abrupt. Perhaps--could she have recognized +Arabian after he, Craven, had left her alone and had gone to speak to +Miss Van Tuyn? The man looked a wrong 'un. Craven felt certain he was +a wrong 'un. But if so, surely Lady Sellingworth could not know him, +or even know anything about him. There was something so remote and +distinguished about her life, her solitary, retired life. She did not +come in contact with such people. + +"Get you a kib, gentleman?" said a soft cockney voice in Craven's ear. + +He started, and walked on quickly. In Lady Sellingworth's conduct that +night, in the last look she had given him, there was mystery. He was +quite unable to fathom it, and he went home to his flat in the greatest +perplexity, and feeling very uneasy. + +When Murgatroyd opened the door to his mistress it was not much after +nine, and he was surprised to see her back so early and alone. + +"Tea, please, Murgatroyd!" she said. + +"Yes, my lady." + +She passed by him and ascended the big staircase. He heard her go into +the drawing-room and shut the door. + +When, a few minutes later, he brought in the tea, she was standing by +the fire. She had taken off her big hat and laid it on a table. + +"I shall want nothing more. Good night." + +"Good night, my lady." + +He went towards the door. When he was just going out he heard her say, +"Murgatroyd!" and turned. + +"My lady!" + +"Please let Cecile know I shan't want her to-night. She is not to sit up +for me. I'll manage for myself." + +"Yes, my lady." + +"Make it quite understood, please." + +"Certainly, my lady." + +He went out and shut the door. + +When she was quite alone Lady Sellingworth stood for several minutes +by the fire quite still, with her head bent down and her hands folded +together. Then she went to the tea table, poured out a cup of tea, sat +down and sipped it slowly, looking into vacancy with the eyes of one +whose real gaze was turned inwards upon herself. She finished the tea, +sat still for a little while, then got up, went to the writing-table, +sat before it, took a pen and a sheet of note-paper, and began slowly to +write. + +She wrote first at the top of the sheet in the left-hand corner, +"Strictly private," and underlined the words. Then she wrote: + + +"DEAR BERYL,--Please consider this letter absolutely private and +personal. I rely on your never speaking of it to anyone, and I ask you +to burn it directly you have read it. Although I hate more than anything +else interfering in the private affairs of another, I feel that it is +my absolute duty to send this to you. I am a very much older woman +than you--indeed, almost an old woman. I know the world very well--too +well--and I feel I can ask you to trust me when I give you a piece of +advice, however unpleasant it may seem at the moment. You were dining +to-night alone with a man who is totally unfit to be your companion, or +the companion of any decent woman. I cannot explain to you how I know +this, nor can I tell you why he is unfit to be in any reputable company. +But I solemnly assure you--I give you my word--that I am telling you the +truth. That man is a blackguard in the full acceptation of the word. I +believe you met him by chance in a studio. I am quite positive that you +know nothing whatever about him. I do. I know--" + + +She hesitated, leaning over the paper with the pen lifted, frowning +painfully and with a look of fear in her eyes. Then her face hardened in +an expression of white resolution, and she wrote: + + +"I know that he ought to be in prison. He is beyond the pale. You must +never be seen with him again. I have said nothing of this to anyone. Mr. +Craven has not a suspicion of it. Nor has anyone else whom we know. Drop +that man at once. I don't think he will ask you for your reason. His +not doing so will help to prove to you that I am telling you the +truth.--Yours sincerely, + +"ADELA SELLINGWORTH." + + +When she had finished this letter Lady Sellingworth read it over +carefully twice, then put it into an envelope and wrote on the envelope +Beryl's address, and in the corner "strictly private." But having done +this she did not fasten the envelope, though she lit a red candle that +was on the table and took up a stick of sealing-wax. Again hesitation +seized her. + +The written word remains. Might it not be very dangerous to send this +letter? Suppose Beryl did show it to that man who called himself Nicolas +Arabian? He might--it was improbable, but he might--bring an action for +libel against the writer. Lady Sellingworth sickened as she thought of +that, and rapidly she imagined a hideous scandal, all London talking of +her, the Law Courts, herself in the witness-box, cross-examination. What +evidence could she give to prove that the accusation she had written was +true? + +But surely Beryl would not show the letter. It would be dishonourable +to show it, and though she could be very cruel Lady Sellingworth did not +believe that Beryl was a dishonourable girl. But if she was in love with +that man? If she was under his influence? Women in love, women under a +spell, are capable of doing extraordinary things. Lady Sellingworth knew +that only too well. She remembered her own madnesses, the madnesses +of women she had known, women of the "old guard." And Arabian had +fascination. She had felt it long ago. And Beryl was young and had +wildness in her. + +It might be very dangerous to send that letter. + +But if she did not send it, what was she going to do? She could not +leave things as they were, could not just hold her peace. To do +that would be infamous. And she could not be infamous. She felt the +obligation of age. Beryl had been cruel to her, but she could not leave +the girl in ignorance of the character of Arabian. If she did something +horrible might happen, would almost certainly happen. Beryl was very +rich now, and no doubt that man knew it. The death of her father had +been put in all the papers. There had been public chatter about the +fortune he had left. Men like Arabian knew what they were about. They +worked with deliberation, worked according to plan. And Beryl was +beautiful as well as rich. + +Things could not be left as they were. + +If she did not send that letter Lady Sellingworth told herself that she +would have to see Beryl and speak to her. She would have to say what +she had written. But that would be intolerable. The girl would ask +questions, would insist on explanations, would demand to be enlightened. +And then--As she sat by the writing-table, plunged in thought, +Lady Sellingworth lost all count of time. But at last she took the +sealing-wax, put it to the candle flame, and sealed up the letter. She +had resolved that she would take the risk of sending it. Anything was +better than seeing Beryl, than speaking about this horror. And Beryl +would surely not be dishonourable. + +Having sealed the letter Lady Sellingworth took it with her upstairs. +She had decided to leave it herself at Claridge's Hotel on the morrow. + +But after a wretched night she was again seized by hesitation. A devil +came and tempted her, asking her what business this was of hers, why she +should interfere in this matter. Beryl was audacious, self-possessed, +accustomed to take her own way, to live as she chose, to know all sorts +and conditions of men. She was not an ignorant girl, inexperienced in +the ways of the world. She knew how to take care of herself. Why +not destroy the letter and just keep silence? She had really no +responsibility in this matter. Beryl was only an acquaintance who had +tried to harm her happiness. And then the tempter suggested to her that +by taking any action she must inevitably injure her own life. He brought +to her mind thoughts of Craven. If she let Beryl alone the fascination +of Arabian might work upon the girl so effectually that Craven would +mean nothing to her any more; but if she sent the letter, or spoke, and +Beryl heeded the warning, eventually, perhaps very soon, Beryl would +turn again to Craven. + +By warning Beryl Lady Sellingworth would very probably turn a weapon +upon herself. And she realized that fully. For she had no expectation +of real gratitude from the girl expressing itself in instinctive +unselfishness. + +"I should merely make an enemy by doing it," she thought. "Or rather two +enemies." + +And she locked the letter up. She thought she would do nothing. But as +the day wore on she was haunted by a feeling of self-hatred. She had +done many wrong things in her life, but certain types of wrong things +she had never yet done. Her sins had been the sins of what is called +passion. There had been strong feeling behind them, prompting desire, +a flame, though not always the purest sort of flame. She had not been a +cold sinner. Nor had she been a contemptible coward. Now she was beset +by an ugly sensation of cowardice which made her ill at ease with +herself. She thought of Seymour Portman. He was able to love her, to go +on loving her. Therefore, in spite of all her caprices, in spite of all +she had done, he believed in that part of her which men have agreed +to call character. She could not love him as he wished, but she had +an immeasurable respect for him. And she knew that above all the other +virtues he placed courage, moral and physical. Noblesse oblige. He would +never fail. He considered it an obligation on those who were born in +what he still thought of as the ruling class to hold their heads high in +fearlessness. And in her blood, too, ran something of the same feeling +of obligation. + +If she put her case before Seymour what would he tell her to do? To ask +that question was to answer it. He would not even tell. He would not +think it necessary to do that. She could almost hear his voice saying: +"There's only one thing to be done." + +She was loved by Seymour; she simply could not be a coward. + +And she unlocked the box in which the letter was lying, and ordered her +car to come round. + +"Please drive to Claridge's!" she said as she got into it. + +On the way to the hotel she kept saying to herself: "Seymour! Seymour! +It's the only thing to do. It's the only thing to do." + +When the car stopped in front of the hotel she got out and went herself +to the bureau. + +"Please give this to Miss Van Tuyn at once. It is very important." + +"Yes, my lady." + +"Is she in?" + +"I'm not sure, my lady, but I can soon--" + +"No, no, it doesn't matter. But it is really important." + +"It shall go up at once my lady." + +"Thank you." + +As Lady Sellingworth got into her car she felt a sense of relief. + +"I've done the right thing. Nothing else matters." + + + +CHAPTER VI + +Miss Van Tuyn was not in the hotel when Lady Sellingworth called. She +did not come back till late, and when she entered the hall she was +unusually pale, and looked both tired and excited. She had been to Dick +Garstin on an unpleasant errand, and she had failed in achieving what +she had attempted to bring about. Garstin had flatly refused not to +exhibit Arabian's portrait. And she had been obliged to tell Arabian of +his refusal. + +The man at the bureau gave her Lady Sellingworth's note, and she took it +up with her to her sitting-room. As she sat down to read it she noticed +the words on the envelope, "Strictly private," and wondered what it +contained. She did not recognize the handwriting as Adela's. She took +the letter out of the envelope and saw again the warning words. + +"What can it be about?" + +Before she read further she felt some unpleasant information was in +store for her, and for a moment she hesitated. Then she looked at the +address on the paper: "18A Berkeley Square." + +It was from Adela! She frowned. She felt hostile, already on the +defensive, though she had, of course, no idea what the letter was about. +But when she had read it her cheeks were scarlet, and she crushed the +paper up in her hand. + +"How dare she write to me like that! I don't believe it. I don't believe +a word of it! She only wants to take him away from me as she is trying +to take Alick Craven." + +Instantly she had come to a conclusion about Adela's reason for writing +that letter. She remembered the strange episode in the _Bella Napoli_ +on the previous evening--Adela's extraordinary departure when Craven had +come to speak to her and Arabian. She had not seen Craven again. There +had been no explanation of that flight. In this letter, between the +lines, she read the explanation. Adela must know Arabian, must have +had something to do with him in the past. They had, perhaps, even been +lovers. She did not know the age of Arabian, but she guessed that he was +about thirty-five, perhaps even thirty-eight. Adela was sixty now. They +might have been lovers when Arabian was quite young, perhaps almost +a boy. At that time Adela had been a brilliant and conquering beauty, +middle-aged certainly, over forty, but still beautiful, still full of +charm, still bent on conquest. Miss Van Tuyn remembered the photograph +of Adela which she had seen at Mrs. Ackroyde's. Yes, that was it. Adela +knew Arabian. They had been lovers. And now, out of jealousy, she had +written this abominable letter. + +But the girl read it again, and began to wonder. It was strangely +explicit, even for a letter of a jealous and spiteful woman. It told +her that Arabian was beyond the pale, that he ought to be in prison. In +prison! That was going very far in attack. To write that, unless it +were true, was to write an atrocious libel. But a jealous woman would do +anything, risk anything to "get her own back." + +Nevertheless Miss Van Tuyn felt afraid. This strange and terrible letter +dovetailed with Dick Garstin's warning, and both fitted in as it were +with the underthings in her own mind, with those things which Garstin +had summed up in one word "intuition." + +Arabian had taken her news about Garstin quite coolly. + +"I will see about that myself," he had said. "But now--" + +And then he had made passionate love to her. There had been--she had +noticed it all through her visit--a new pressure in his manner, a new +and, as she now began to think, almost desperate authority in his whole +demeanour. His long reticence, the reserve which had puzzled and alarmed +her, had given place to a frankness, a heat, which had almost swept her +away. She still tingled at the memory of what she had been through. But +now she began to think of it with a certain anxiety. In spite of her +anger against Adela her brain was beginning to work with some of its +normal calmness. + +Arabian had been very slow in advances. But now was not he like a man +in great haste, like a man who wished to bring something to a conclusion +rapidly, if possible immediately? Passion for her, perhaps, drove him on +now that at last he had spoken, had held her in his arms. But suppose +he had another reason for haste? He had seen Lady Sellingworth. He knew +that she was a friend of the girl he wanted to marry. Miss Van Tuyn +remembered that he had not welcomed her suggestion that the two couples, +he and she, Lady Sellingworth and Craven, should have coffee together. +He had spoken of the smallness of the tables in the _Bella Napoli_. But +that might have been because he was jealous of Craven. + +She read the letter a third time, very slowly and carefully. Then she +put it back into its envelope and rang the bell. + +A waiter came. + +"It's about seven, isn't it?" she said. + +"Half past seven, madam." + +"Please bring me up some dinner at once--anything. Bring me a sole and +an omelette. That will do. But I want it as soon as possible." + +"Yes, madame." + +The waiter went out. Then Miss Van Tuyn went to see old Fanny, and +explained that she must dine alone that evening as she was in a hurry. + +"I have to go to Berkeley Square directly after dinner to visit a +friend, Lady Sellingworth." + +"Then I am to dine by myself, dear?" said Miss Cronin plaintively. + +"Yes, you must dine alone. Good night, Fanny." + +"Shan't I see you when you come in?" + +"I may be late. Don't bother about me." + +She went out and shut the door, leaving old Fanny distressed. Something +very serious was certainly happening. Beryl looked quite unusual, so +strung up, so excited. What could be the matter? If only they could get +back to Paris! There everything went so differently! There Beryl was +always in good spirits. The London atmosphere seemed to hold poison. +Even Bourget's spell was lessened in this city of darkness and strange +inexplicable perturbations. + +That night, about a quarter to nine when Lady Sellingworth had just +finished her solitary dinner and gone up to the drawing-room, a footman +came in and said: + +"Will you see Miss Van Tuyn, my lady? She has called and is in the hall. +She begs you to see her for a moment." + +Two spots of red appeared in Lady Sellingworth's white cheeks. For a +moment she hesitated. A feeling almost of horror had come to her, a +longing for instant flight. She had not expected this. She did not know +what exactly she had expected, but it had certainly not been this. + +"Did you say I was in?" she said, at last. + +The footman--a new man in the house--looked uncomfortable. + +"I said your Ladyship was not out, but that I did not know whether your +Ladyship was at home to anyone." + +After another pause Lady Sellingworth said: + +"Please ask Miss Van Tuyn to come up." + +As she spoke she got up from her sofa. She felt that she could not +receive Beryl sitting, that she must stand to confront what was coming +to her with the girl. + +The footman went out and almost immediately returned. + +"Miss Van Tuyn, my lady." + +"Do forgive me, Adela!" said Miss Van Tuyn, coming in with her usual +graceful self-possession and looking, Lady Sellingworth thought in that +first moment, quite untroubled. "This is a most unorthodox hour. But +I knew you were often alone in the evening, and I thought perhaps you +wouldn't mind seeing me for a few minutes." + +She took Lady Sellingworth's hand and started. For the hand was cold. +Then she looked round and saw that the footman had left the room. The +big door was shut. They were alone together. + +"Of course you know why I've come, Adela," she said. "I've had your +letter." + +As she spoke she drew it out of the muff she was carrying. + +"I was obliged to write it," said Lady Sellingworth. "It was my duty to +write it." + +"Yes?" + +"But I don't want to discuss it." + +They were both still standing. Now Miss Van Tuyn said; + +"Do you mind if I sit down?" + +"No; do sit." + +"And may I take off my coat?" + +Lady Sellingworth was obliged to say: + +"Yes, do." + +Very composedly and rather slowly Miss Van Tuyn took off her fur coat, +laid aside her muff, and sat down near the fire. + +"I'm very sorry, Adela, but really, we must discuss this letter," she +said. "I don't understand it." + +"Surely it is explicit enough." + +"Yes. It is too explicit not to be discussed between us." + +"Beryl, I don't want to discuss it. I can't discuss it." + +"Why not?" + +"Because it is too painful--a horrible subject. You must take my word +for it that I have written you the plain truth." + +"Please don't think I doubt your word, Adela." + +"No, of course not. And that being so let the matter end there. It must +end there." + +"But--where? I don't quite understand really." + +"I felt obliged to send you a warning, a very serious warning. I +greatly disliked, I hated doing it. But I couldn't do otherwise. You are +young--a girl. I am an--I am almost an old woman. We have been friends. +I saw you in danger. What could I do but tell you of it? I knew of +course you were quite innocent in the matter. I am putting no blame +whatever on you. You will do me that justice." + +"Oh, yes." + +"So there is nothing more to discuss. I have done what I was bound to +do, and I know you will heed my warning." + +She looked at the letter in Beryl's hand, and remembered her feeling of +danger when she wrote it. + +"And now please burn that letter, Beryl. Throw it into the fire." + +As she spoke she pointed to the fire on the hearth. But Miss Van Tuyn +kept the letter in her hand. + +"Please wait a minute, Adela!" she said. + +And a mutinous look came into her face. + +"You don't quite understand how things are. It's all very well to think +you can make me give up my friend--any friend of mine--at a moment's +notice and at a word from you. But I don't see things quite in the same +light." + +"That--that man isn't your friend. Don't say that." + +"But I do say it," said the girl, with a now intense obstinacy. + +"You met him in Mr. Garstin's studio, didn't you?" + +"Perhaps I did. There is nothing against him in that." + +"I do not say there is. But I do say you know nothing about him." + +"But how do you know that? You assume a great deal, Adela." + +"Do you know anything about him?" + +"Suppose I were to ask you questions in my turn?" + +"Questions? But I have told you--" + +"Yes, you have told me certain things, but you have explained nothing. +You seem to expect everything from me. Am I not to expect anything from +you?" + +"Anything! But what?" + +"An explanation, surely." + +Lady Sellingworth was silent. She was still standing. The two spots of +red still glowed in her white face. Her eyes looked like the eyes of one +who was in dread. They had lost their usual expression of self-command, +and resembled the eyes of a creature being hunted. Miss Van Tuyn saw +that and wondered. A fierce animosity woke in her and made her more +obstinate, more determined to get at the truth of this mystery. She +would not leave this house until light was given to her. She had a +strong will. It was now fully roused, and she was ready to pit it +against Adela's will. And she had another weapon in her armoury. She was +now very angry, with an anger which she did not fully understand, +and which was made up of several elements. One of these elements was +certainly passion. This anger rendered her merciless. + +"Well, Adela?" she said at length, as Lady Sellingworth did not speak. + +"What is it you want, Beryl?" said Lady Sellingworth, looking into her +eyes and then quickly away. + +"But I have told you--an explanation." + +She unfolded the letter slowly. + +"I can't give you one. I have told you the truth, and I ask you to +accept it, and I beg, I implore you to act upon it." + +"Suppose I were to make a violent attack on one of your friends, on Mr. +Craven for instance?" + +"Please don't bracket Mr. Craven and that man together!" said Lady +Sellingworth sharply. + +Beryl Van Tuyn flushed with anger. + +"But I do!" she said. "I choose to do that for the sake of argument." + +"Two such men have nothing in common, nothing! One is a gentleman, the +other is a blackguard!" + +Miss Van Tuyn thought of the previous evening, when Lady Sellingworth +had dined with Craven while she had dined with Arabian, and she was +stung to the quick. + +"I cannot allow you to speak like this of a friend of mine without an +explanation," she said bitterly. "And now"--she spoke more hurriedly, as +if fearing to be interrupted--"I will finish what I was going to say, if +you will allow me. Suppose I were to make an attack on, say, Mr. Craven, +to tell you that I happened to know he was thoroughly bad, immoral, a +liar, anything you like. Do you mean to say you would give him up at +once without insisting on knowing from me my exact reasons for branding +him as unfit for your company? Of course you wouldn't. And not only you! +No one would do such a thing who had any courage or any will in them." + +She lifted the letter. + +"In this letter you say that Mr. Arabian is unfit to be the companion of +any decent woman, that he is a blackguard in the full acceptance of the +word, that he is beyond the pale, and finally, that he ought to be in +prison. Very well! I don't say for a moment that I doubt your word, +but I do ask you to justify it. Of course I know that you easily +can. Otherwise I am sure that you would never have written such awful +accusations against anyone. It would be too wicked, and I know you are +not wicked. Please tell me your exact reason for writing this letter, +Adela." + +"I can't." + +"You really mean that?" + +"I won't. It's impossible." + +Miss Van Tuyn's face became very hard. + +"Well, then, Adela--" + +She paused. Suddenly there had come into her mind the thought of a +possible way of forcing the confidence which Lady Sellingworth refused +to give her. Should she take it? She hesitated. Arabian's will was upon +her even here in this quiet drawing-room. His large eyes seemed fixed +upon her. She still felt the long and soft touch of his lips clinging to +hers like the lips of a thirsty man. Would he wish her to take this way? +For a moment she felt afraid of him. But then her strong independence +of an American girl rose up to combat this imaginative, almost occult, +domination. Arabian himself, his fate perhaps, was concerned in this +matter. She could not, she would not allow even Arabian, whose will +imposed itself on hers, who had gathered her strangely, mysteriously, +into a grip which she felt almost like a thing palpable upon her, to +prevent her from finding out the truth which Lady Sellingworth +seemed resolved to keep from her. She still believed, indeed she felt +practically certain, that Lady Sellingworth and Arabian in the past +had been lovers. Her jealousy was furiously awake. She felt reckless of +consequences and ready to take any course which would bring to her what +she needed, full knowledge of what had led Adela Sellingworth to send +her that letter. + +Lady Sellingworth was looking at her now steadily, with, she thought, +a sort of almost fierce pleading. But she cared very little for Adela's +feelings just then. + +"You really refuse to tell me?" + +"I must, Beryl." + +"I don't think that's fair. It isn't fair to me or to him." + +"I can't help that. Please don't ask me anything more. And please +destroy that letter. Or let me destroy it." + +She held out her hand, but Miss Van Tuyn sat quite still. + +"I must tell you something," she said. "If you will not explain to me I +think I ought to go for an explanation to someone else." + +"Someone else!" said Lady Sellingworth in a startled voice. "But--do you +know--to whom would you go?" + +"I think I ought to go to him, to the man you accuse of nameless +things." + +"But you can't do that!" + +"Why not? It would only be fair." + +"But what reason could you give?" + +"Naturally I should have to say that you had warned me against him." + +"No--no, you mustn't do that." + +"Really? I am to be bound hand and foot while you--" + +"You saw what I wrote in that letter." + +"Yes, of course. Naturally I will not show it. But I shall have to say +that you warned me to drop him." + +"I can't have my name mentioned to that man," said Lady Sellingworth +desperately. + +"And I can't drop him without telling him why." + +"Beryl, you haven't read to the end of my letter." + +"But I have!" + +"Then have you forgotten it? Look! I wrote in it that I don't think he +will ask for your reason if you refuse to see him again." + +"That only proves how little you know about him. I shall not do it, +Adela. You are not very frank with me, but I am sincere with you. Either +you must give me an explanation of your reason for writing this letter, +or you must give me permission to tell Mr. Arabian of your warning, +or--if you won't do either the one or the other--I shall take no action +because of this letter. I shall behave as if I had never received it and +read it." + +"Beryl! What reason could I have for writing as I have written if I had +nothing against this man?" + +"I don't know. It is very difficult to understand the reasons women have +for doing what they do. But I have come here to ask you what your reason +is. That's why I am here now." + +"Could I have a bad reason, a selfish reason?" + +"How can I tell?" + +"Then have you a bad opinion of me, of my character?" + +"I have always admired you very much. You know that." + +"Once--once you called me a book of wisdom." + +"Did I?" + +"Don't you remember?" + +"I dare say I did." + +"And I think you meant of worldly wisdom. Then can't you, won't you, +trust my opinion of this man?" + +"Oh if it's only your opinion!" + +"But it is not. It is knowledge." + +"Then you know Mr. Arabian?" + +"I didn't say that." + +"Do you know him?" + +Lady Sellingworth turned away for a moment. She stood with her back to +Miss Van Tuyn and her face towards the fire, holding the mantelpiece +with her right hand. Miss Van Tuyn, motionless, stared at her tall +figure. She felt this was a real battle between herself and her friend, +or enemy. She was determined to win it somehow. She still had a +weapon in reserve, the weapon she had thought of just now when she had +resolutely put away her fear of Arabian. But perhaps she would not +be forced to use it, perhaps she could overcome Adela's extraordinary +resistance without it. As she looked at the woman turned from her she +began to think that might be possible. Adela was surely weakening. This +pause, this sudden moving away, this long hesitation suggested weakness. +At last Lady Sellingworth turned round. + +"You ask me whether I know that man." + +"I asked you whether you knew _Mr. Arabian_!" said Miss Van Tuyn, on a +note of acute exasperation. + +"I don't know him." + +"That is a lie!" said Miss Van Tuyn to herself. + +To Lady Sellingworth she said: + +"Then if you don't know Mr. Arabian you are only repeating hearsay." + +"No!" + +"But you must be!" + +"I am not." + +"Adela, you are incomprehensible, or else I must be densely stupid. One +or the other!" + +"One may know things about a man's character and life without being +personally acquainted with him." + +"Then it's hearsay. I am not going to drop Mr. Arabian because of +hearsay, more especially when I don't even know what the hearsay is." + +"It is not hearsay." + +"It doesn't come from other people?" + +"No." + +"Then"--a sudden thought struck her--"is it from the newspapers? Has he +ever been in some case, some scandal, that's been in the newspapers?" + +"Not that I know of. It isn't that." + +"Really this is like the 'Mysteries of Udolpho,'" said Miss van Tuyn, +concealing her anger and her burning curiosity under a pretence of +petulance. "And I really can't take it seriously." + +"But you must, Beryl. You must!" + +Lady Sellingworth came to her quickly and sat down beside her. + +"I know my conduct must seem very strange." + +"It does, indeed!" + +"And I dare say all sorts of suspicions, ugly suspicions perhaps, have +come into your mind. But try to put them away. Try to believe that I am +honestly doing my best to be a friend to you, a true friend." + +"Forgive me, Adela, for being brutally frank with you. But I don't think +you care very much for me." + +"I wrote that letter against my own desire simply because I thought I +ought to. I wrote it simply for your sake. I would have given a great +deal not to write it. I knew that there was even danger in writing it." + +"What danger?" + +"It was possible that you might disregard my request and show my letter. +I felt practically certain you wouldn't, but you might have done so." + +"And if I had?" + +"If you had--then--but I only tell you this to prove that in this +instance I was trying to be a friend to you." + +"If I had shown this letter, or if I were to show it to Mr. Arabian he +might bring an action for libel on it, I should think." + +"I dare say he could do that." + +"Well--but if you could justify!" + +"But I couldn't!" + +"You couldn't! You write me a libel about a friend of mine which you +yourself say you couldn't justify!" + +"I can't bear to hear you speak of that man as your friend." + +"He is my friend. I like him very much indeed. And I know him, have +known him for weeks, while you tell me you don't know him. I shall +venture to set my knowledge, my personal knowledge, against your +ignorance, Adela, and to go on with my friendship. But you need not be +afraid." She smiled contemptuously. "I will not show Mr. Arabian this +cruel letter which you yourself say you couldn't justify." + +As she spoke she returned the letter to her muff, which was lying on a +table beside her. + +"Well," she added, "I don't know that there is anything more I need say. +I came here to have it out with you. That is my way, perhaps an American +way, of doing things. We don't care for underhand dealings. We like +things fair and square." + +She got up. + +"You have your way of doing things and we have ours! I'll tell you +what mine would have been, Adela, if the situation had been reversed. I +should not have written at all. I should have come to see you, and if +I had had some grave, hideous charge to make I should have made it, and +fully explained my reasons for making it to you. I should have put you +in the same state of complete knowledge as I was in. That is my idea +of friendship and fair dealing. But you think otherwise. So what is the +good of our arguing any more about the matter?" + +Lady Sellingworth was still sitting. For a moment she did not move, +but remained where she was looking up at the girl. Just then she was +assailed by a fierce temptation. After all, had not she done her part? +Had not she done all that anyone could expect from her, from any woman +under the existing circumstances? Had not she done even much more than +many women could have brought themselves to do? Beryl had not been very +kind to her. Beryl was really the enemy of her happiness, of her poor +little attempt after happiness. And yet she had taken a risk in order +to try and save Beryl from danger. And the girl would not be saved. +Headstrong, wilful, embittered, she refused to be saved. Then why not +let her go? She had been warned. She chose to defy the warning. That was +not Lady Sellingworth's fault. + +"I've done enough! I've done all I can do." + +She said this to herself as she sat and looked at the girl. + +"I can't do any more!" + +Miss Van Tuyn reached out for her coat and began very deliberately to +put it on. Then she picked up the muff in which the letter lay hidden. + +"Well, good night, Adela!" + +Lady Sellingworth got up slowly. + +"I promise that I will not show your letter. So don't be afraid." + +"I'm not afraid." + +Miss Van Tuyn held out her hand. + +"No doubt you have your reasons for doing what you have done. I don't +pretend to understand them. And I don't understand you. But women are +often incomprehensible to me. Perhaps that is why I usually prefer men. +They don't plunge you in subtleties. They let you understand things." + +"Ah!" exclaimed Lady Sellingworth. + +And there was a passion of acute irony in the exclamation. + +"What's the matter?" said Miss Van Tuyn, looking surprised, almost +startled. + +But Lady Sellingworth did not tell her. + +"If you will go like this, Beryl--go!" she said. "I cannot force you to +do, or not to do, anything. But"--she laid a hand on the girl's arm and +pressed it till her hand almost hurt Beryl--"but I tell you that you are +in danger, in great danger. I dread to think of what may be in store for +you." + +Something in the grasp of her hand, in her manner, in her eyes, +impressed Miss Van Tuyn in spite of herself. Again fear, a fear +mysterious and cold, crept in her. Garstin had warned her in his +way. Now Adela was warning her. And she remembered that other warning +whispered by something within herself. She stood still looking into Lady +Sellingworth's eyes. Then she looked down. She seemed to be considering +something. At last she looked up again and said: + +"You said to me to-night that you did not know Mr. Arabian--now." + +"I don't know him." + +"But have you known him? Did you know him long ago?" + +"I have never known him." + +"Then I don't understand. And--and I will not act in ignorance. It isn't +fair to expect me to do that." + +"I have done all that I can do," said Lady Sellingworth, with a sort of +despair, taking her hand from the girl's arm. + +"Very well." + +Beryl moved and went slowly towards the door. Lady Sellingworth stood +looking after her. She thought the hideous interview was over. But she +did not know Beryl even yet, did not realize even yet the passionate +force of curiosity which possessed Beryl at this moment. When the girl +was not far from the door, and when Lady Sellingworth was reaching out +her hand to touch the bell in order that the footman might know that her +visitor was leaving her, Beryl turned round. + +"Adela!" she said. + +"Yes. What is it?" + +"Perhaps you think that I have been very persistent to-night, that I +have almost cross-examined you." + +"I don't blame you. It is natural that you wished to know more." + +"Yes, it is natural, because Mr. Arabian wants me to marry him." + +"To marry him!" + +Lady Sellingworth started forward impulsively. + +"Marry? He wants--you--you--" + +"He loves me. He has asked me to marry him." + +She turned away, and went to the door and opened it. + +"Beryl, come here!" + +"Why?" + +"Beryl!" + +"But what is the good? You refuse to tell me anything, I tell you +everything. Now you understand why I feel angry at these horrible +accusations." + +"You don't mean to tell me you have ever dreamed of marrying such a +man!" + +"Don't abuse him! I don't wish to hear him abused. I hate it. I won't +have it." + +"But--Beryl! But only a few days ago you as good as told me you cared +for Alick Craven. You--you gave me to understand that you liked him very +much, that you--" + +"Oh, this is intolerable!" said Miss Van Tuyn. "Really! Why do you +interfere in my life like this? What have I done to set you against me? +You talk of being my friend, but you do everything you can to upset +my happiness. It is enough that I like anyone for you to try to come +between us. First it was Alick Craven! Now it is Mr. Arabian! It is +unbearable. You have had your life. You have had a splendid life, +everything any woman could wish to have. I am a girl. I am only +beginning. Why can't you leave me alone? Why can't you let me have some +happiness without thrusting yourself in and trying to spoil everything +for me? Won't you ever have had enough? Ever since I have known Mr. +Craven you have tried to get him away from me. And now you are doing +your best to make me give up a man who loves me and wants to marry me." + +"Beryl! Please!" + +"No, I will not bear it. I will not! I admired you. I had a cult for +you. Everyone knew it. I went about praising you, telling everyone you +were the most wonderful woman I had ever known. You can ask anybody. +People used to laugh at me about my infatuation for you. I stood up for +you always. They told me--but I wouldn't believe!" + +"What did they tell you?" + +"Never mind. But now I begin to believe it is true. You can't bear to +see other women happy. That's what it is." + +"Beryl, it isn't that! No, it isn't that!" + +"You have had it all. But that doesn't satisfy you. You want to prevent +other women from having any of the happiness that you can't have now. It +is cruel. I never thought you were like that. I took you as a pattern +of what a woman of your age should be. I looked up to you. I would +have come to you for counsel, for advice. You were my book of wisdom. +I thought you were far above all the pettinesses that disfigure other +women, the women who hate us girls, who want to snatch everything from +us. And now you are trying to do me more harm than any other woman has +ever tried to do me!" + +"I--I will prove to you that it isn't so!" said Lady Sellingworth. +"Please shut the door." + +Miss Van Tuyn obeyed. + +"But--but--first tell me something." + +"What?" + +"Tell me the absolute truth." + +"I am not a liar, Adela." + +"But sometimes--truth is difficult sometimes." + +"What is it you want to know?" + +"Do you care for this--do you care for Mr. Arabian?" + +"Perhaps I do." + +"Do you?" + +"Yes." + +"Do you mean that you are really thinking of doing what he wishes you to +do?" + +"I haven't told him yet." + +"But you are thinking of marrying him?" + +"I know nothing against him. He cares for me very much." + +Lady Sellingworth was silent. + +"Perhaps you don't believe that? Perhaps you think that's impossible?" + +"Oh, no! But--" + +"I know exactly what you are thinking. You are thinking that I am rich +now that my father is dead. But he is rich too. He does not need my +money. He has never done any work. He has been an idler all his life. +He has often told me that he has had too much money and that it has done +him harm, made him an idler." + +"And you believe all that?" + +"I believe that he cares for me very much. I know he does." + +"Once I thought that man--" + +She stopped. + +"Promise me one thing," she said at last in a different voice. "Promise +me that you will not marry Mr. Arabian. I won't ask anything else of +you; only that." + +"But I won't promise. I can't." + +"Why not?" + +"Because--because I don't know what I am going to do, what I might do." +She looked down, then added in a low voice; "He fascinates me." + +For the first time since she had come into the room there was a helpless +sound in Miss Van Tuyn's voice, a sound that was wholly girlish, +absolutely, transparently sincere. Lady Sellingworth did not miss it. + +"I haven't made up my mind," she said. "But he fascinates me." + +And at that moment Lady Sellingworth knew she was speaking the truth. +She remembered her own madnesses, sunk away in the past, but still +present to her, gripped between the tentacles of memory. Beryl, too, was +then capable of the great follies which often exist side by side with +great vanity. The wild heart confronted Lady Sellingworth in another. +And she felt suddenly a deep sense of pity, a sense that seemed flooded +with tears, the pity that age sometimes feels for youth coming on into +life, on into the devious ways, with their ambushes, their traps, +their pitfalls full of darkness and fear. She was even conscious of +a tenderness of age which till now had been a rare visitor in her +difficult nature. Seymour Portman seemed near her, almost with her in +the room. She could almost hear his voice speaking of spring with all +its daffodils. + +Noblesse oblige. In her torn heart could she find a nobleness sufficient +for this occasion? Seymour's eyes, the terrible eyes of affection, which +require so much and which sometimes, because of that, seem to be endowed +with creative power, forcing into life that which they long to see, were +surely upon her, watching for her nobility, asking for it, demanding it +of her. + +She took Beryl Van Tuyn by the wrist and led her away from the shut door +back to the fire. + +"Sit down, Beryl," she said. + +The girl looked at her wondering, feeling a great change in her and not +understanding it. + +"Why?" she said. + +"I have something I must say to you." + +Beryl dropped her muff and sat down. Lady Sellingworth stood near her. + +"Beryl," she said, "you think I have been and am your enemy. I must show +you I am not. And there's only one way. You say I can't bear to see you +happy. I don't think that's true. I hope it isn't. I don't think I +wish unhappiness to others, but, even at my age, I still wish to have a +little happiness myself. There's never a time in one's life, I suppose, +when one doesn't long to be happy. But I don't want to interfere with +your happiness, I only want to interfere between you and a very great +danger, something which would certainly bring disaster into your life." + +She stopped speaking. She was looking grave, indeed almost tragically +sad, but calm and resolute. The spots of red had faded out of her +cheeks. There was no fever in her manner. Miss Van Tuyn's wonder grew +as she looked at her former friend, who now dominated her, and began to +extort from her a strange and unwilling admiration, which recalled to +her the admiration of that past time when she had first met Alick Craven +in this drawing-room. + +After a long pause Lady Sellingworth continued, with a sort of strong +simplicity in which there was moral power: + +"Don't be angry with me, Beryl, when I tell you that you have one of my +dominant characteristics." + +"What is it?" Miss Van Tuyn asked, in a low voice. + +"Vanity. You and I--we were both born with great vanity in us. Mine has +troubled me, tortured me, been a curse to me, all my life. It led me at +last into a very horrible situation, in which the--that man who calls +himself Nicolas Arabian was mixed up." + +"But you said you didn't know him, that you had never known him!" + +"That's quite true. I have never spoken to him in my life. But it was he +who led me to change my life. You must have heard of it. You must have +heard how, ten years ago, I suddenly gave up everything and began to +lead a life of retirement." + +"Yes." + +"But for that man I should probably never have done that. But for him I +might have been going about London now with dyed hair, pretending to be +ten or fifteen years younger than I really am." + +"But--if you never knew him? I can't understand!" + +"Did you ever hear that about ten years ago I lost a great quantity +of jewels, that they were stolen out of a train at the Gare du Nord in +Paris?" + +A look of fear, almost of horror, came into Beryl Van Tuyn's eyes. She +got up from the sofa on which she was sitting. + +"Adela!" + +Already she knew what was coming, what Lady Sellingworth was going to +tell her. She even knew the very words Lady Sellingworth was about to +say, and when she heard them it was as if she herself had spoken them. + +"That man stole them." + +"Adela!" + +"You said that he had money, that he was not obliged to work. Now you +know why he has money and what his work is." + +"Adela! But--but why didn't you--" + +Her voice faded away. + +"I couldn't. My hands were tied." + +"How?" + +"He caught me in a trap. He laid a bait for my vanity, Beryl, and I took +the bait. + +"But what was it?" + +"He made me believe that he had fallen in love with me. I was a woman of +fifty and he made me believe that! That is how vanity leads us!" + +And then she told the girl all the truth about Arabian and herself, all +the truth of ten years ago. Having made up her mind, having begun to do +what Seymour would have called "the right thing," she did not hesitate, +did not spare herself. She went on to the bitter end. But the strange, +the wonderful thing was that it was less bitter than she had thought it +must be. While she was speaking, while she was exposing her own folly, +her own shame even, she began to feel a sense of relief. She gave the +secret which she had kept for ten years to this girl who had treated +her cruelly, and in the giving, instead of abject humiliation, she was +conscious of liberation. Her mind seemed to be released from a long +bondage. Her soul seemed to breathe more freely, like a live thing let +out from a close prison into the air. A strange feeling of being at +peace with herself came to her and comforted her. + +"And that is all, Beryl!" she said at last. "Now, do you forgive me?" + +Beryl had been standing quite still, with her eyes fixed on Lady +Sellingworth. She had listened without moving. Even her hands had been +still, folded together in front of her. But the colour had come and gone +in her face as she had listened, as it can only come and go in a face +that is young. She was very pale now. Even her lips looked much paler +than usual. She stood there and did not say anything. But her eyes were +no longer fastened on Lady Sellingworth's face. She was looking down +now. Lady Sellingworth could not see her eyes, but only her white +eyelids fringed with long lashes which curled up at the ends. + +"I had to tell you, Beryl." + +Still the girl said nothing and did not move. But Lady Sellingworth +saw two tears come from under her eyelids and fall down her face. Other +tears followed. She did not take out her handkerchief to wipe them away. +She did not seem to be aware of them, or of any necessity for trying to +stop them from coming. And then she began to shake. She shook from +head to foot, still keeping her hands folded. And that--the folded +hands--made her look like a tall doll shaking. There was something +so peculiar and horrible in the contrast between her attitude and +the evident agony which was convulsing her that for a moment Lady +Sellingworth felt helpless, did not dare to speak to her or to touch +her. It was impossible to tell whether she was shaken by anger, by +self-pity, or by the despair of youth deceived and outraged. But as she +continued to weep, and as her body went on trembling, Lady Sellingworth +at last could not bear it any longer. She felt that she must do +something, must try to help her, and she put a hand on the girl's +shoulder gently. + +"Beryl!" she said. "Beryl! I didn't want to hurt you, but I had to tell +you." + +The girl suddenly turned and caught her by the arms. + +"Oh, Adela!" she said, in a faltering voice. "No other woman would +have--how could you? Oh, how could you?" + +Her face was distorted. She looked at Lady Sellingworth with eyes that +were bloodshot behind their tears. + +"Both of us! Both of us!" she exclaimed. "It's too horrible!" + +She still held Lady Sellingworth's arms. + +"_I_ couldn't have done it! I should have let you go on. I shouldn't +have written--I shouldn't have spoken! And I have been alone with him. I +have let him--I have let him--" + +"Beryl!" + +"No, no! It isn't too late! Don't be afraid!" + +"Thank God!" said Lady Sellingworth. + +She had no feeling of self-pity now. All her compassion for herself was +obscured for the moment in compassion for the girl. The years at last +were helping her, those years which so often had brought her misery. + +"But what am I to do? I'm afraid of him. Oh, do help me." + +"Hush, Beryl! What can he do? There's nothing to be afraid of." + +"But I've nobody. I'm all alone. Fanny is no use. And he means--he won't +give it up. I know he won't give it up. I was always afraid in a way. I +always had suspicions, but I trampled them down. Dick Garstin told me, +but I would not listen. Dick Garstin showed me what he was." + +"How could he?" + +"He did. It's there in the studio--that horrible picture, the real +man, the man I couldn't see. But I must always have known what he was. +Something in me must always have known!" + +She seemed to make a violent effort to recover her self-control. She +dropped her hands, took out a handkerchief and wiped the tears from her +eyes. Then she went to the sofa where her muff was lying, drew out the +letter that was in it, went over to the fireplace and threw the letter +into the flames. + +"Adela," she said, "I've been a beast to you. You know--my last visit to +you. You're brave. I suppose I always felt there was something fine in +you, but I didn't know how fine you could be. All I can do in return is +this--never to tell. It isn't much, is it?" + +"It's quite enough, Beryl." + +"There isn't anything else I can do, is there?" + +Her eyes were asking a question. Lady Sellingworth met them calmly, +earnestly. She knew what the girl was thinking at that moment. She was +thinking of Alick Craven. + +"No, there isn't anything else." + +"Are you quite sure, Adela? I owe you a great deal. I may forget it. +One never knows. And I suppose I'm horribly selfish. But if I make you +a promise now I'll keep it. If you want me to promise anything, tell me +now." + +"But I don't want anything from you," said Lady Sellingworth. + +She said it very quietly, without emotion. There was even a coldness in +her voice. + +The great effort she had just made seemed to have changed her. By making +it she felt as if, unwittingly, she had built up an insurmountable +barrier between herself and youth. She had not known, perhaps, what she +was doing, but now, suddenly, she knew. + +_I grow too old a comrade, let us part. Pass thou away!_ + +The words ran in her mind. How often she had thought of them! How often +she had struggled with that wild heart which God had given her, which +in a way she clung to desperately, and yet which, as she had long known, +she ought to give up. She was too old a comrade for that wild heart, and +now surely she was saying farewell to it--this time a final farewell. +But she had felt, had really felt as if in her very entrails, for a +moment the appeal of youth. And she could never forget that, and, having +responded, she knew that she could never struggle against youth again. + +Beryl had conquered her without knowing it. + + + +CHAPTER VII + +The winter night was dark when Miss Van Tuyn stood in the hall of Lady +Sellingworth's house waiting for the footman to find a taxicab for her. +A big fire was burning on the hearth; the old-fashioned hooded chair +stood beside it; and presently, as no taxicab came, she went to the +chair and sat down in it. She felt very tired. Her whole body seemed to +have been weakened by what she had just been through. But her mind was +charged with intense vitality. The thoughts galloped through it, and +they were dark as the night. The cold air of winter stole in through +the doorway of the hall. She felt it and shivered as she lay back in the +great chair which, with its walls and roof, was like a hiding-place; and +for the first time in her life she longed to hide herself. She had never +before known acute fear--fear that was based on ascertained facts. But +she knew it now. + +The young footman stood on the doorstep bareheaded, looking this way and +that into the blackness, and she sat waiting. In her independence she +had never before known what it was to feel abandoned to loneliness. She +had always enjoyed her freedom. Now she felt a great longing to cling to +someone, to be protected, to lean on somebody who was much stronger than +herself, and who would defend her against any attack. At that moment she +envied Lady Sellingworth safe above stairs in this silent and beautiful +house, which was like a stronghold. She even envied, or thought she did, +Lady Sellingworth for her years. In old age there was surely a security +that youth could never have. For the riot of life was over and the +greatest dangers were past. + +She longed to stay with Adela that night. She thought of her as +security. But she dared not expect anything more from Adela. She had +already received a gift which she had surely not deserved, a gift which +few women, if indeed any other woman, would have given her. + +She looked towards the open door and saw the footman's flat back, and +narrow head covered with carefully plastered hair. He was calling now +with both hands to his mouth: "Taxi! Taxi!" + +But there came no sound of wheels in the night, and she put her hands on +the sides of the chair and got up. + +"Can't you find a cab?" + +"No, ma'am. I've very sorry, but there doesn't seem to be one about. +Shall I go to the nearest cab rank?" + +Miss Van Tuyn hesitated. Then she determined to fight her fear. + +"It isn't raining, is it?" + +"No, ma'am." + +"Then I'll walk. It's not far. I shall pick up a cab on the way +probably." + +The young man looked relieved and stood aside to let her go out. He +watched her as she walked down the square towards the block of flats +which towered up where the pavement turned at right angles. The light +from the hall shone out and made a patch of yellow about his feet. He +noticed presently that the girl he was watching turned her head and +looked back, almost as if she were hesitating. Then she walked on +resolutely, and he stepped in and shut the door. + +"Wonder if she's afraid of going like that all by herself!" he thought. +"I only wish she was my class. I wouldn't mind seeing her home." + +Just before she was out of sight of Lady Sellingworth's house Miss Van +Tuyn looked back again. The light was gone. She knew that the door was +shut and she shivered. She felt shut out. What was she going to do? She +was going back to Claridge's of course. But--after that? She longed +to take counsel with someone, with someone who was strong and clear +brained, and who really cared for her. But who did care for her? Perhaps +for the first time in her life she was the victim of sentimentality, of +what she would have thought of certainly as sentimentality in another. +A sort of yearning for affection came to her. A wave of self-pity swept +over her. Her independence of spirit was in abeyance or dead. Arabian, +it seemed, had struck her down to the ground. She felt humiliated, +terrified, and strangely, horribly young, like a child almost who had +been cruelly treated. She thought of her dead father. If he had been +alive and near could she have gone to him? No; for years he had not +cared very much about her. He had been kind, had given her plenty of +money, but he had been immersed in pleasures and had always been in the +hands of some woman or other. He had not really loved her. No one, she +thought with desperation, had ever really loved her. She did not ask +herself whether that was her fault, whether she had ever given to anyone +what she wanted so terribly now, whether she had any right to expect +generosity of feeling when she herself was niggardly. She was stricken +in her vanity and, because of that, she had come down to the dust. + +It was frightful to her to think, to be obliged to think, that Arabian +all this time had looked upon her as a prey, had marked her down as a +prey. She understood everything now, his fixed gaze at her in the Cafe +Royal when she had seen him for the first time, his coming to Garstin's +studio, his subtle acting through the early days of their acquaintance. +She understood his careful self-repression, his reticence, his evident +reluctance to be painted, overcome no doubt by two desires--the desire +to become intimate with her, and the desire to possess eventually a +piece of work that would be worth a great deal of money. She understood +the determination not to allow his portrait to be exhibited. She +understood the look in his face when she had told him of her father's +sudden death, the change in his demeanour to her since he had known +the fact, the desire to hurry things on, to sweep her off her feet. She +understood--ah, how she understood!--why he had not wished Adela to join +them in the restaurant! She remembered a hundred things about him now, +all mixed up together, in no coherent order, little things at which +she had wondered but which she wondered at no longer; his distaste +for Garstin's portraits because they were of people belonging to the +underworld, his understanding of them, his calm contemplation of the +victims of vice, his lack of all pity for them, his shrewd verdict on +the judge which had so delighted Garstin. And how he had waited for her, +how he had known how to wait! It was frightful--that deliberation of +his! Garstin had been right about him. Garstin's instinct for people had +not betrayed him. Although later Arabian's craft had puzzled even him +he had summed up Arabian at a first glance. Garstin was diabolically +clever. If only he were less hard, less brutally cynical, she might +perhaps go to him now. For he had in his peculiar way warned her against +Arabian. She flushed in the dark as she thought of Garstin's probable +comments on her situation if he knew of it! And yet Garstin had told her +that Arabian was in love with her. Was that possible? Her vanity faintly +stirred like something, albeit feebly, reviving. Arabian had marked her +down as a prey. She had no doubt about that. Her brain refused to doubt +it. But perhaps, mingled with his hideous cupidity of the accomplished +adventurer, the professional thief, there was something else, the lust, +or even the sensual love, of the primitive man. Perhaps--she realized +the possibility--he believed he had found in her the great opportunity +of his life, the unique chance of combining the satisfaction of his +predatory instincts with the satisfaction of his intimate personal +desires, those desires which he shared with the men who lived far from +the underworld. + +If that were so--and suddenly she felt that it was so, that she had hit +upon the truth--then she was surely in great danger. For Arabian was not +the man to let an unique opportunity slip through his fingers without +putting up a tremendous fight. + +She must find someone to help her against this man. Again she thought +of Garstin. But he had his own battle to fight, the battle about the +portrait. Then she thought of Craven. Obscurely long ago--it seemed at +least long ago--she had felt that she might some day need Craven in +her life. How strange that was! What mysterious instinct had warned her +then? But now Craven was hostile to her. How could she go to him? And +then there flashed upon her the thought: + +"But I can't go to anybody! I have promised Adela." + +That thought struck her like a blow, struck her so hard that she stood +still on the pavement. And she realized immediately that either she must +do without any help at all, or that, in spite of all that had happened, +she must ask Adela to help her. For she could never break her promise +to Adela. She knew that. She knew that she would rather go under than +betray Adela's confidence. Adela had done a fine thing, something that +she, Beryl, had not believed it was in any woman to do. She could not +have done it, but on the other hand she could not be vile. It was not in +her to be vile. + +She heard a step in the darkness and realized what she was doing. +Instantly she hurried on, almost running. She must gain shelter, must be +in the midst of light, must be between four walls, must speak to someone +who knew her, and who would not do her harm. Claridge's--old Fanny! A +few minutes later she entered the hotel almost breathless. + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +On the following afternoon Craven called on Lady Sellingworth about five +o'clock and was told by the new footman in a rather determined manner +that she was "not at home." + +"I hope her ladyship is quite well?" he said. + +"I believe so, sir," replied the man. "Her ladyship has been out driving +to-day." + +"Please give her that card. Wait one moment." + +He pencilled on the card, "I hope you are better,--A.C.," gave it to +the man, and walked away, feeling sure that Lady Sellingworth was in the +house but did not choose to see him. + +In the evening he received the following note from her: + + +18A, BERKELEY SQUARE, + +Thursday. + +DEAR MR. CRAVEN,--How kind of you to call and to write that little +message. I am sorry I could not see you. I'm not at all ill, and have +been out driving. But, between you and me--for I hate to make a fuss +about trifling matters of health--I feel rather played out. Perhaps it's +partly old age! You know nothing about that. Any variation in my quiet +life seems to act as a disturbing influence. And the restaurant the +other night really was terribly hot. I mustn't go there again, though +it is great fun. I suppose you didn't see Beryl? She has been to see me, +but said nothing about it. Be nice to her. I don't think she has many +real friends in London.--Yours very sincerely, + +ADELA SELLINGWORTH. + + +"What is it? What has happened?" Craven thought, as he put down the +letter. + +He felt that some drama had been played out, or partially played out, +within the last days which he did not understand, which he was not +allowed to understand. Lady Sellingworth chose to keep him in the +dark. Well, she had the right to do that. As he thought over things he +realized that the heat in the restaurant could certainly not have been +the sole reason of her strange conduct on the night when they had dined +together. Something had upset her mentally. A physical reason only could +not account for her behaviour. And again he thought of Arabian. + +Instinctively he hated the man. Who was he? Where did he come from? +Craven could not place him. Beyond feeling sure that he was a "wrong +'un" Craven had no very definite opinion about him. He was well dressed, +good looking--too good looking--and no doubt knew how to behave. He +might even possibly be a gentleman of sorts, come to England from some +exotic land where the breed of gentleman was quite different from that +which prevailed in England. But he was surely a beast. Craven detested +his good looks, loathed his large and lustrous brown eyes. He was the +sort of beast who did nothing but make up to women. Something inherently +clean in Craven rejected the fellow, wished to drive him into outer +darkness. + +Could Lady Sellingworth know such a man? + +That seemed quite impossible. Nevertheless, certain things persistently +suggested to Craven that at least she had some knowledge of Arabian +which she was deliberately concealing from him. The most salient of +these things was her reiterated attempt to push him into the company of +Beryl Van Tuyn. It was impossible not to think that Lady Sellingworth +wished him to interfere between Beryl Van Tuyn and Arabian. On the night +of the dinner in Soho she had attempted to persuade him to go back to +the restaurant and to see Beryl home. And now here in this letter she +returned to the matter. + +"Be nice to her. I don't think she has many real friends in London." + +"Go to see Beryl; don't come to see me." + +Between the lines of Lady Sellingworth's letter Craven read those words +and wondered at the ways of women. But he did not mean to obey the +unwritten command. And he felt angry with Lady Sellingworth for giving +it by implication. She might have what she considered a good reason for +her extraordinary behaviour. But as she did not allow him to understand +it, as she chose to keep him entirely in the dark, he would be passive. +It was not his business to run after Beryl Van Tuyn, to interfere almost +forcibly between her and another man, even if that man were a scoundrel. +Miss Van Tuyn was a free agent. She had the right to choose her own +friends, her own lovers. Once he had decided that he would not give up +his intimacy with her in favour of another man without a struggle, the +sort of polite, and perhaps subtle, struggle which is suitable to the +twentieth century, when man must only be barbarous in battle. But since +the encounter in Glebe Place he had changed his mind. Disgust had +seized him that day. What could he think but that Beryl Van Tuyn had +deliberately induced him to come to Glebe Place, in order that he might +see not only her absolute indifference to him but also her intimacy +with Arabian? Her reason for such a crude exposure of her lightness of +conduct escaped Craven. He could not conceive what she was up to, unless +her design was to arouse in him violent jealousy. He did feel jealous, +but he was certainly not going to show it. Besides, the delicacy +that was natural in him was disquieted by what he thought of as the +coarseness of her behaviour. + +As once more he looked at Lady Sellingworth's letter he was struck by +something final in the wording of it. There was nothing explicit in it. +On the contrary, that seemed to be carefully avoided. But the allusions +to old age, to disturbing influences, the decision not to go again to +the _Bella Napoli_--these seemed to hint an intention to return to a +former state of being, to abandon a new path of life. And he remembered +a conversation with Francis Braybrooke at the club, the interest it had +roused in him. Some slumbering feeling for romance had been stirred in +him, he now thought, by that conversation, by the information he had +received about the distinguished recluse who had lived a great life and +then suddenly plunged into old age and complete retirement. + +Now he seemed to hear a door shutting, and he was outside it. She had +allowed him to enter her life for a short time, to enter it almost +intimately. But she was surely repenting of that intimacy. He did not +know why. Did he ever know why a woman did this or that? There was no +suggestion in the letter that he should ever call again, no hint of a +desire to see him. She was only sorry, politely sorry, that she had +not been able to see him that day. But no reason was given for the +inability. She had not considered it necessary to give him a reason. +When she had gone abroad without letting him know he had said to himself +that his brief friendship with her had come to an end. He felt that more +acutely now. For she had come back from abroad. She was close to him +in London. She had tried him again. Evidently she must have found him +wanting. For once more she was giving him up. Perhaps he was too young. +Perhaps he bored her. He did not know. + +"I don't suppose I shall ever know." + +To that conclusion he came at last. And the sense of finality grew in +him, cold and inexorable. She was a mystery to him. He did not love +her. He had never thought of her as she had thought of him. He had never +known or suspected what her feelings for him had been. But he felt that +something which might have meant a good deal, even perhaps a great deal, +to him was being withdrawn from his life. And this withdrawal hurt him +and saddened him. + +He locked up her letter in his dispatch box. It would be a souvenir of a +friendship which had seemed to promise much and which had ended abruptly +in mystery. He did not answer it. Perhaps, probably, he would have done +so but for the last two sentences in it. + + + +CHAPTER IX + +After Lady Sellingworth had written and sent her note to Craven she felt +that she was facing a new phase of life, and she thought of it as the +last phase. Her sacrifice of self was surely complete at last. She +had exposed her nature naked to Beryl Van Tuyn. She had given up her +friendship with Alick Craven. There was nothing more for her to do. The +call of youth had wrung from her a response which created loneliness +around her. And now she had to find within herself the resolution to +face this loneliness bravely. + +When she wrote to Craven she had meant him to understand something of +what he had understood. Yet she did not desire to hurt him. She would +not have hurt him for the world. Secretly her heart yearned over him. +But she could never let him know that. He might be puzzled by her +letter. He might even resent it. But he would soon forget any feeling +roused by it. And he would no doubt soon forget her, the old woman who +had been kind to him for a time, who had even been almost Bohemian with +him in a very mild way, and who had then tacitly given him up. Perhaps +she would see him again. Probably she would. She had no intentions of +permanently closing her door against him. But she would not encourage +him to come. She would never dine out with him again. If he came he must +come as an ordinary caller at the ordinary caller's hour. + +Seymour Portman called on her in the late afternoon of the day when +she wrote to Craven. Just before his arrival she was feeling peculiarly +blank and almost confusedly dull. She had gone through so much recently, +had lived at such high tension, had suffered such intense nervous +excitement, in the restaurant of the _Bella Napoli_ and afterwards, that +both body and mind refused to function quite normally. Long ago she had +stayed at St. Moritz in the depth of the winter, and had got up each +morning to greet the fierce blue sky, the blazing sun, the white glare +of the enveloping snows with a strange feeling of light, yet depressed, +detachment. She began to have a similar feeling now. Far down she was +horribly sad. But her surface seemed to say, "Nothing matters, because +I am in an abnormal condition, and while I remain in this condition +nothing can really matter to me." Surface and depths were in +contradiction, yet she was not even fully aware of that. A numbness held +her, and yet she was nervous. + +She heard the drawing-room door open and Murgatroyd's voice make the +familiar announcement; she saw Seymour's upright, soldierly figure come +into the room; she smiled a greeting to her old friend; and the sound +of Murgatroyd's voice, the sight of Seymour coming towards her, her own +response to sound and sight, did not conquer the sensation of numbness. + +"Yes, he is here. He does not forget me. He loves me and will always +love me. But what does it matter?" + +A voice seemed to be saying that within her. Recently she had suffered +acutely; she had made a great effort; she had conquered herself and been +conquered by another. And it had all been just too much for her. She +was, she thought, like one who had fought desperately lying in deadly +silence and calm on the deserted battlefield, utterly passive because +utterly tired out. + +But Seymour did not know that. He knew nothing of all that had happened, +and Beryl knew everything. And she thought of a picture called "Love +locked out." It was hardly fair that Seymour should know so little. And +while he was quietly talking to her, telling her little bits of news +which he thought would interest her, letting her in by proxy as it were +to the life of the great world which she had abandoned but in which +he still played a part, she was thinking, "If Seymour knew what I have +done! If I told him, what would he think, what would he say?" He would +be pleased, no doubt. But would he be surprised? And while she listened +and talked she began to wonder, but always without intensity, about +that. Seymour would think she had done the inevitable thing, what +any thoroughbred was bound to do. And yet--would he be surprised +nevertheless that she had been able to do it? She began presently to +feel a slight tingle of curiosity about that. Had she, perhaps, to +a certain extent justified Seymour's fidelity? He had a splendid +character. She certainly had not. She had done countless things that +Seymour must have hated, and secretly condemned. And yet he had +somehow been able to go on loving her. Was that because he had always +instinctively known that somewhere within her there was a traditional +virtue which marched with his, that there was a voice which spoke his +language? + +"I suppose, in spite of all, in a way we are akin," she thought. + +And she began to wish vaguely that he knew it, that he knew what had +happened between her and Beryl. As she looked at his "cauliflower," +bent towards her while he talked, at his strong soldier's face, at +his faithful eyes, the eyes of the "old dog," she wished that it were +possible to let Seymour know a little bit of the best of her. Not that +she was proud of what she had done. She was too much akin to Seymour to +be proud of such a thing, But Seymour would be pleased with her. And it +would be pleasant to give him pleasure. It would be like giving him +a small, a very small, reward for his long faithfulness, for his very +beautiful and touching loyalty. + +"What is it, Adela?" he said. + +And a keen, searching look had come into his eyes. + +She smiled vaguely, meeting his gaze. She still felt curiously detached, +although she was able to think quite connectedly. + +"What are you thinking about?" + +"Why do you ask?" + +"I feel you are not as usual to-day." + +"In what way?" + +"Something has happened. I don't, of course, wish to know what it is. +But it has changed you, my dear." + +"In what way?" she said again. + +His reply startled her, set her free from her feeling of numbness, +of light detachment, from what she called to herself her "St. Moritz +feeling." + +"I feel as if you were coming into possession of your true self at +last," he said very gravely. "But as if perhaps you scarcely knew it +yet." + +A slow red crept in her cheeks, which would never know again the touch +of the artificial red. + +"Dear Seymour! My true self! I wonder what sort of self you think that +is?" + +"That's easily told. It is the self I have been loving for so many +years. And now--" + +He got up, still alert in his movement, out of his chair. + +"You are going?" + +"Yes. I have to meet 'Better not' at the Marlborough to talk over His +Majesty's visit to Manchester." + +"Ah!" she said. + +"Better not" was the nickname given at Court to a certain much-valued +gentleman about the king. + +She did not try to detain Seymour. But when he had gone deep depression +overcame her. She was the helpless victim of a tremendous reaction. So +long as she had been in activity she had been able to endure. Even the +horror of the _Bella Napoli_, complex and cruelly intense as the probing +of steel among the nerves of the body, she had been able to live through +without obvious flinching. But then there had been something to do, +something to deal with, something to get the better of. There had been +a necessity for action. And now there was nothing. Her activities were +over. Seymour had broken the curious spell which for a short time had +bound her, and now she realized everything with unnatural acuteness. + +What was the good of coming into possession of her true self? What was +the good of anything? Life was activity. Her late close contact with +youth, her obligation to do something difficult and, to her, tremendous +for youth had taught her that anew, and now she must somehow reconcile +herself to extinction. For this was really what lay before her +now--extinction while still alive. Better surely to be struggling with +horrors than to be merely dying away. She even looked back to the scene +with Beryl and thought of it almost with longing. For how she had lived +in that scene! At moments during it she had entirely forgotten herself. + +Was that perhaps life, the only real life--entire forgetfulness of self? +If so, how seldom she had lived! In all her sixty years, in all her +so-called "great life," for how short a time she had lived! + +She had just then, even in the midst of her reaction, a feeling of +illumination. She was in darkness, but around the darkness, as if +enclosing it and her in it, there was light, a light she had never been +really aware of till now. Something within her said: + +"I see!" + +She went up to her bedroom, shut herself in, went to a bookshelf, and +took down a Bible which stood on it. She turned its pages till she came +to the Sermon on the Mount. Then she began to read. And presently, as +she read, a queer thought came to her. "If the 'old guard' could see me +now!" + +It was late when she stopped reading. She shut up the Holy Book, put it +back on the shelf, and took down a volume of poems. And after reading +the Bible she read the poem of the Wild Heart. And then she read nothing +more. But her reading had waked up in her a longing which was not +familiar to her except in connexion with what she supposed was the baser +part of her, the part which had troubled, had even tortured her so many +times in her life. She had often longed to do things for men whom she +loved, or fancied she loved. Now she was conscious of a yearning +more altruistic. She wished to be purely unselfish, if that were ever +possible. And she believed it to be possible. For was not Seymour +unselfish? He surely often forgot himself in her. But she had always +remembered herself in others. + +"What a monstrous egoist I have been all my life!" she thought, with +a sense of despair. "Only once have I acted with a purely unselfish +motive, and that was with Beryl. Yes, Beryl gave me the one opportunity +I took advantage of. And now it is all over. Everything is finished. It +is too late to try a new way of living." + +She forgot many little sacrifices she had made in the war, or she did +not count them to her credit. For patriotism in war seemed as natural +to her as drawing breath. She was thinking of her personal life in +connexion with individuals. She had once been unselfish--for Beryl. That +was over. Everything was over. And yet Seymour had said that he felt as +if at last she were coming into possession of her true self. So he had +noticed a difference. It was as if what she had been able to do for +Beryl had subtly altered her. But there was nothing more for her to do. + +That evening she felt loneliness as she had never felt it before. A sort +of mental nausea seized her as she dressed for her solitary dinner. +For whom was she changing her gown? For Murgatroyd! How grotesque the +unwritten regulations of a life like hers were! Why go down to dinner +at all? She had no appetite. Nevertheless, everything was done in due +order. Her hair was arranged. Cecile looked at her critically to see +that everything was right. For Murgatroyd! Even a jewel was brought to +be pinned in to the front of her gown. It was a big ruby surrounded +by diamonds, and as it flashed in the light it brought back to her the +hideous memory of Arabian. + +What would he do now? It was very strange that after ten years she had +been able, indeed she had been obliged, to revenge herself upon him, +this man whom she had never known, to whom she had never even spoken. +And she had never dreamed of revenge. She had let him go with his prey. +Probably her jewels had enabled him to live as he wished to live for +years. And now she had paid him back! Did Fate work blindly, or was +there a terribly subtle and inexorable plan at work through all human +life? + +"Miladi does not like to wear this ruby?" said Cecile. + +"Why do you say that?" + +"Milady looks at it so strangely!" + +"It reminds me of something. Yes, I will wear it to-night. But what's +the good?" + +"Miladi--?" + +"No one will see it but myself." + +"Milady should go out more, much more, and receive company here." + +"Perhaps I'll give a series of dinners," said Lady Sellingworth with a +smile. + +And she turned away and went down. + +Murgatroyd and a footman were waiting for her. On the dining table was +a menu telling her what she had to eat, what her cook had been, and was, +busy over in the kitchen. She sat down at the big table, picked up the +menu and glanced at it. But she did not see what was written on it. +She saw only in imagination the years before her, perhaps five years, +perhaps ten, perhaps even more. For her race was a long living one. She +might, like some of her forbears, live to be very old. Ten years more of +dinners like this one in Berkeley Square! Could that be endured? As she +sipped her soup she thought of travelling. She might shut up the house, +go over the seas, wander through the world. There were things to be +seen. Nature spread her infinite variety for the sons and the daughters +of men. She might advertise in _The Times_ for a travelling companion. +There would be plenty of answers. Or she might get one of her many +acquaintances to come with her, some pleasant woman who would not talk +too much, or too little. + +Fish! + +When, finally, some fruit had been put before her, and Murgatroyd and +the footman had left the room, she remained--so she thought of it--like +a mummy in the tomb which belonged to her. And presently through the +profound silence she heard the hoot of a motor-horn. Someone going +somewhere! Someone who had something to do, somewhere to go! Someone +from whom all the activities had not passed away for ever! + +The motor-horn sounded again nearer. Now she heard the faint sound of +wheels. The car was coming down her side of the Square. The buzz of the +machine reached her ears now, then the grinding of brakes. The car had +stopped somewhere close by, at the next house perhaps. + +She heard an electric bell. That was in her own house. Then the car had +stopped at her door. + +She listened, and immediately heard a step in the hall. Murgatroyd, or +the footman, was going to the door. She wondered who the caller could +be. Possibly Seymour! But he never came at that hour. + +A moment later Murgatroyd appeared in the room. + +"Miss Van Tuyn has called, my lady, and begs you to see her." + +"Miss Van Tuyn! Ask her--take her up to the drawing-room, please. I am +just finishing. I will come in a minute." + +"Yes, my lady." + +Murgatroyd went out and shut the door behind him. + +Then Lady Sellingworth took a peach from a dish in front of her +and began to peel it. She had not intended to eat any fruit before +Murgatroyd had given her this news. But she felt that she must have +a few minutes by herself. Not long ago she had been appalled by the +thought of extinction: had yearned for activity, had even desired +opportunities for unselfishness. Now, suddenly, she was afraid, and +clung to her loneliness. For she felt certain that Beryl had come to +ask her to do something in connexion with Arabian. Something must have +happened since their interview yesterday, and the girl had come to her +to ask her help. + +She ate the peach very slowly, scarcely tasting it. At last it was +finished, and she got up from the table. She must not keep Beryl waiting +any longer. She must go upstairs. But she went reluctantly, almost in +fear, wondering, dreading what was coming upon her. + +When she opened the drawing-room door she saw Beryl standing by the +fire. + +"Adela!" + +Beryl came forward hurriedly with a nervous manner Lady Sellingworth +had never noticed in her before. Her face was very pale. There were dark +rings under her eyes. She looked apprehensive, distracted even. + +"Do forgive me for bursting in on you like this at such an hour!" + +"Of course!" + +She took Beryl's hand. It was hot, and clasped hers with a closeness +that was almost violent. + +"What is it? Is anything the matter?" + +"I want your advice. I don't--I don't quite know what to do. You see, +there's nobody but you I can come to. I know I have no right--I have +no claim upon you. You have been so good to me already. No other woman +would have done what you have done. But you see, I promised never to--I +can't speak to anyone else. I might have gone to Dick Garstin perhaps. +. . . I don't know! But as it is I can't speak to a soul but you." + +"Is it something about that man?" + +"Yes. I'm afraid of him." + +"Why?" + +"I'm sure he doesn't mean to--I'm sure he won't give me up easily. I +know he won't!" + +"Sit down, Beryl." + +"Yes--may I?" + +"Have you seen him?" + +"Oh, no--no!" + +"Has he written?" + +"Yes. And he has called to-day. Last night directly I got back to the +hotel I gave orders at the bureau that if he called they were to say +'not at home.'" + +"Well then--" + +"But he got in!" + +"How could he?" + +"When they said I was out he asked for Fanny--Fanny Cronin, my +companion. He sent up his card to her, and as I hadn't spoken to +her--you know I promised not to say anything--she told them to let him +come up. She likes him!" + +"And were you in the hotel?" + +"No, thank God I was really out. But I came back while he was still +there." + +"Then--" + +"No, I didn't see him, as I told you. When I was just going up in the +lift, something--it was almost like second sight, I think--prompted me +to go to the bureau and ask if anyone was in our rooms. And they told me +_he_ was with Fanny, had been with her for over an hour." + +"What did you do?" + +"I went out at once. I called on one or two people, I stayed out till +nearly half-past seven. I walked about in the dark. I was afraid to go +near the hotel. It was horrible. Finally I thought he must have gone and +I ventured to go back. I hurried through the hall. The lift was there. +I went into it at once. I didn't look round. I was afraid he might have +come down and be waiting about for me. When I got to our apartment I +went straight to my bedroom and rang for my maid. She said he was gone. +Then I went to Fanny. He had been having tea with her and had stayed two +hours. He had--she's very foolish, poor old thing!--he had completely +fascinated her." + +Suddenly she blushed violently. + +"I have no right to say that about Fanny. But I mean he had laid himself +out to--" + +"I quite understand," said Lady Sellingworth, with a sort of awkward +dryness which she could not evade though she hated herself for it. + +It was hideous, she felt, being mixed up with this old Miss Cronin and +Beryl Van Tuyn in a sort of horrible sisterhood of victims of this vile +man's fascination. Her flesh crept at the indignity of it, and all +her patrician pride revolted at being remembered among his probably +innumerable conquests. At that moment she felt punished for having so +often in her life betrayed the best part of her nature. + +"I quite understand, Beryl. You need not explain." + +"No." + +There was an unpleasant silence during which neither woman looked at the +other. Then Lady Sellingworth said: + +"But you haven't told me everything. And if I am to--if anything is to +be done, can be done, I suppose you had better tell me everything." + +"Yes. I want to. I must. Mr.--he told Fanny that I was--that I had +promised to marry him." + +"Ah!" + +"He told her that I had been to his flat on the very day that I had +heard of my father's death and since. He promised Fanny that--that when +we were married she should have a home with us. Isn't that horrible? +Fanny has been afraid of my marrying because, you see, she depends in a +way on me. She doesn't want to leave me. She's got accustomed--" + +"Yes--yes." + +"He told her that people knew about my visits to him. Mrs. Birchington +lives in the flat opposite his, and she knows. He contrived that she +should know. I realize that now." + +"A man like that lays his plans carefully." + +"Yes. Oh--how humiliating it all is! Fanny was enthusiastic about him." + +"What did you say?" + +"I was very careful. Because I promised you! But I know she thinks--she +must think I am in love with him. But that doesn't matter. Only it makes +things difficult. But it isn't that which brought me here. I'm afraid of +him." + +"Have you ever written to him?" + +"No--never!" + +"But you say he has written to you." + +"Yes. When he left Fanny he wrote a letter in the hotel and had it sent +up to my room. Fanny gave it me just now. I've got it here." + +She drew a letter out of a little bag she had brought with her. + +"I--I can't show it--" + +"Oh--please--I don't want to see it!" said Lady Sellingworth, with an +irrepressible shrinking of disgust. + +"No, of course not. Adela, please don't think I imagined you did! But +I must tell you--I know you hate all this. You must hate it. Oh, do +forgive me for coming here! I know I oughtn't to. But I'm afraid--I'm +afraid of him!" + +"Why are you so afraid? What can he do?" + +"A man like that might do anything!" + +"Are you sure? I think such a man is probably a coward at heart." + +But Miss Van Tuyn shook her head. + +"He's got nerves of steel. I am sure of it. Besides--" + +She paused, and a strange conscious look came into her face--a look +which Lady Sellingworth did not understand. + +"Yes?" she said at last, as Beryl did not speak. + +"Adela, I know you will not believe me. I know--you spoke once of my +being very vain, but--but there are things a girl does know about a man, +really there are! They may seem ridiculous, crazy to others, but--" + +"What is it, Beryl?" + +"I believe besides wanting my money he wants _me_. That's why I'm +afraid. If it weren't for that I--perhaps I shouldn't have come +to-night. Can you believe it?" + +Lady Sellingworth looked at the girl with eyes which in spite of herself +were hard. She knew they were hard, but she could not help it. Then she +said: + +"Yes, I can believe it." + +"And that he may--he may persist in spite of all. He may refuse to give +it up." + +"Haven't you got a will?" + +"Yes." + +"Can't you use it?" + +"Yes. But I'm afraid of him. I believe I've always been afraid of him. +No one else has ever been able to make me feel as I do about him. Once +I read an article in a paper. It was about a horrible play--a woman who +was drawn to a man irresistibly in spite of herself, to a hateful man, +a murderer. And she went; she had to go. I remember I thought of _him_ +then. It was a fascination of fear, Adela. There are such things." + +"Do you mean to say that after what I have told you--" + +"I want someone to get him away, to drive him away from me so that I +shall never see him, so that he will never come near me again! I might +go to Paris. But it would be no use. He would follow me there. I might +go to America. But that would be just the same. He says so in this +letter." + +She held up the letter in her hand. + +"Does he threaten you?" + +"No--not exactly! No, he doesn't! It's worse than that. If he did +I think I might find the courage. He's subtle, Adela. He's horribly +subtle! Besides, he doesn't know--he can't know that you have told me +what he is." + +"He might guess it. He probably guessed it. He recognized me in the +restaurant." + +"Yes. He didn't want you to come to our table. But he never spoke of +you afterwards. He didn't say a word, or show the slightest sign. But +in this letter I feel that he suspects--that he is afraid something may +happen through you, and that--" + +"Perhaps he knows you came to see me last night." + +"How could he?" + +"It wouldn't be difficult for a man of that type." + +"I walked home alone, and nobody--" + +"That doesn't prove anything. He is subtle, as you say." + +"I am sure from this letter that he guesses something has happened, that +I may have been set against him, and that he doesn't mean to give me up, +whatever happens. I feel that in his letter. And I want someone to drive +him away from me. Oh, I wish I had never seen him! I wish I had never +seen him!" + +Again Lady Sellingworth heard the cry of youth, and this time it was +piteous, almost despairing. She did not answer it in words. Indeed, +instead of showing any pity, any strong instinct of protection, she +turned away from Beryl. + +The girl wondered why she did this, and for a moment thought that +perhaps she was angry. The situation was difficult, horribly difficult. +Beryl had delicacy enough to understand that. Perhaps she ought not to +have come to Adela again. Perhaps she was asking too much, more than any +woman could bring herself to do, or to try to do. But she had no one +else to go to, and she was really afraid, miserably afraid. + +Lady Sellingworth stood quite still by the fire with her back to Beryl, +and as the silence continued at last Beryl made up her mind that there +was nothing to be hoped for from her and got up slowly. + +"Adela," she said, trying to summon some pride, some courage, "I +understand. You can't do anything more. I oughtn't to have come. It was +monstrous, I suppose. But--it's like that in life. So few people will +help. And those that do--well, they get asked for more. I'll--I'll +manage somehow. It's all my own fault. I must try to--" + +Then Lady Sellingworth turned round. Her white face was very grave, +almost stern, like the face of one who was thinking with concentration. + +"I'm ready to try to do what I can, Beryl," she said. "But there's only +one way I can think of. And to take it I shall have to tell the whole +truth." + +"About me?" + +"About you and myself." + +"Oh--but you couldn't do that!" + +"I believe that I ought to." + +"But--but--to whom?" + +"There's only one person I could possibly speak to, and he's the finest +man I have ever met. He might do something. I'm thinking of Seymour +Portman." + +"Adela! But you couldn't tell _him_!" + +"Why not?" + +"Adela--he loves you. Everyone knows that." + +"And that's just why I could tell him--him only." + +Miss Van Tuyn looked down. Suddenly she felt that she had tears in her +eyes. + +"You have kept your cab, haven't you?" said Lady Sellingworth. + +"Yes." + +"Go home now. I will telephone to Seymour. I'll let you know +later--to-morrow morning perhaps--what he thinks had better be done. +Now, good night, Beryl!" + +She held out her hand. Beryl took it, but did not press it. Somehow she +felt awed, and at a distance from this pale quiet woman. + +Lady Sellingworth touched the bell, and Beryl Van Tuyn left the room. + + + +CHAPTER X + +As soon as Beryl had gone Lady Sellingworth went downstairs to her +writing-room. She turned on the electric light as she went in to the +room, and glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. The hands pointed to +half-past nine. She wondered where Seymour was dining. He might chance +to be at home. It was much more likely that he was dining out, at one +of his clubs or elsewhere. If he were at home and alone he would come to +her at once; if not she would perhaps have to wait till half-past ten or +eleven. She hoped to find him at St. James's Palace. As this thing +had to be done--and now she had burnt her boats, for she had promised +Beryl--she wished to do it quickly. + +She inquired through the telephone if Seymour was at home. His servant +replied that he was out. She asked where. The servant did not know. His +master had dressed and gone out at a quarter to eight without saying +where he was dining. Lady Sellingworth frowned as she received this +information. She hesitated for a moment, then she said: + +"As soon as Sir Seymour comes in, however late it may be, I want to see +him on an urgent matter. If you go to bed before he comes back, will +you please leave a written message in the hall asking him to visit Lady +Sellingworth at once in Berkeley Square. It is very important." + +"Yes, my lady," said the voice. + +"You won't forget? I shall be sitting up for Sir Seymour." + +"No, my lady. I will stay up and inform Sir Seymour." + +"Thank you." + +She put the receiver back in its place and again looked at the clock. +She had not much hope of seeing Seymour before eleven at the earliest. +He might be at a big dinner. He might be at the theatre. Probably he +would go to his club afterwards. She might not see him till midnight, +even later perhaps. Well, it could not be helped. She must just be +patient, must wait calmly. But she did not want to wait. She was +beginning to feel nervous, and she knew that the nervousness would +increase in suspense. How unlucky that Seymour was out! + +She rang the bell. Murgatroyd came. + +"I am expecting Sir Seymour to-night, Murgatroyd," she said, "about some +important business. But I can't find out where he is, so he won't know +till he goes home. That may be late. But he will come here directly he +gets my message. I'm sorry to keep you up, but I should like you to let +him in." + +"Certainly, my lady," said Murgatroyd. + +"I shall be waiting for him in the drawing-room. Bring me up some +camomile tea, will you? And put out a cigar and whisky and Perrier for +Sir Seymour." + +"Yes, my lady." + +"That's all." + +Murgatroyd stood back to let her pass out of the room. She thought at +that moment there was something sympathetic in his face. + +"I believe he's rather devoted to me, and to Seymour too," she said to +herself as she went upstairs. "I don't think he'll say anything to the +others. Not that it matters if he does!" + +Nevertheless she felt oddly shy about Seymour coming to her very late at +night, and wondered what Murgatroyd thought of that long friendship. +No doubt he knew, no doubt all the servants knew, how devoted to her +Seymour was. + +She went into the drawing-room and sat down by the fire, and very soon +Murgatroyd brought in the camomile tea. Then he placed on a side table a +box of cigars, whisky and Perrier water, and went out. + +The clock chimed the quarter before ten. + +Camomile tea is generally supposed to be good for the nerves. That was +why Lady Sellingworth had ordered it; that was why she drank it now. For +now she was beginning to feel horribly nervous, and the feeling seemed +to increase in her with every passing moment. It was dreadful waiting +for Seymour like this. She felt all her courage and determination oozing +away. When Beryl had been there, and that strange and abrupt decision +had been come to, Lady Sellingworth had felt almost glad. Seymour would +know what Beryl knew, the worst and perhaps the best, of his old friend. +And there was no one else she could go to. Seymour was an old soldier, a +thorough man of the world, absolutely discreet, with a silent tongue and +proved courage and coolness. No one surely existed more fitted to deal +drastically with a scoundrel than he. Lady Sellingworth had no idea what +he would do. But he would surely find a way to get rid of Arabian, to +"drive" him, as Beryl had put it, out of the girl's life for ever. +Yes, he would find a way. Lady Sellingworth felt positive of that, and, +feeling thus positive, she realized how absolutely she trusted Seymour, +trusted his heart, his brain, his whole character. + +Nevertheless she looked again and again at the clock, and began to feel +almost sick with anxiety. + +The thought of confession had scarcely frightened her when Beryl was +with her. Indeed, it had brought her a sense of relief. But now she +began to feel almost panic-stricken at the knowledge of what was before +her. And she began to wonder exactly how much Seymour understood of her +character, exactly how much he knew of her past. He must certainly know +a great deal, and perhaps suspect more than he knew. She had once been +almost explicit with him, on the terrible day when she had tried to make +up her mind to marry him, and had failed. And yet he might be surprised, +he might even be horrified when she told him. It was such an ugly +story, such a hideous story. And Seymour was full of natural rectitude. +Whatever he had done in his life, he must always have been incapable of +stooping down to the gutter, as she had stooped. She grew hot and then +cold at the thought of telling him. Perhaps he would not be able to bear +it. Perhaps even his love could not stand so much as that. If, after +she had told him, he looked at her with different eyes, if he changed +towards her! He would not want to change, but if he could not help it! + +How awful that would be! Something deep down within her seemed to +founder at the mere thought of it. To lose Seymour! That would indeed be +the end of everything that made life worth living for her. She shuddered +on her sofa. Then she got up and stood before the blazing fire. But +still she felt cold. Surely she had acted imprudently when Beryl was +there. She had been carried away, had yielded to a sudden impulse. And +yet no! For she had stood with her back to Beryl for several minutes +before she had said she was going to tell Seymour. And through those +minutes she had been thinking hard. Yes; but she had not thought as she +was thinking now. + +She began to feel desperate. It was nearly eleven o'clock. The time had +flown. Why had she asked Seymour to come to-night? She might just as +well have waited till to-morrow, have "slept on it." The night brings +counsel. Yet how could she break her promise to Beryl? It would be no +use debating, for she had promised. + +The clock struck eleven. + +Seymour might come now in a moment. On the other hand, he might not +reach home till midnight, or even later. It would really be a shame to +bring him out again at such an hour. She had been thoughtless when she +was at the telephone. And she was keeping his man up; Murgatroyd too. +That was scarcely fair. It would not matter if Seymour came now, but if +he did not get home till much later, as was possible, even probable! She +had surely been rather selfish in her desire to do something quickly for +Beryl. There was no such terrible hurry about the matter. + +An overwhelming desire to postpone things took hold of her. She wanted +to have time to think over how she would put it to Seymour. Would not it +perhaps be possible to obtain his help for Beryl without telling him the +whole truth about Arabian? She might just say that she knew the man was +a blackguard without saying why she knew. There was perhaps no need to +be absolutely explicit. Seymour would take it from her without asking +awkward questions. He was the least curious of men. He would probably +much rather not know the truth. It would be as horrible for him to hear +it as for her to tell it. But she must have time to think carefully over +how she would put it to him. Yes, she must have time. Better to see him +to-morrow morning. + +A quarter-past eleven! + +It would really be monstrous to drag Seymour out to have a long +confabulation about a girl whom he scarcely knew, and could have no +interest in, at this time of night. + +And she turned from the fire and went decisively towards the door. +She would go down at once and telephone to Seymour's apartment in St. +James's Palace cancelling her request to his manservant. + +She found Murgatroyd waiting in the hall. He looked faintly surprised at +seeing her. + +"Oh, Murgatroyd!" she said. "It's getting so late that I've decided to +put off Sir Seymour till to-morrow. I'm just going to telephone now. So +you needn't sit up any longer." + +"Very well, my lady." + +"Good night." + +"Good night, my lady." + +"I'll turn out the lights when I go up." + +"Shan't I--" + +"No--you needn't. Good night." + +She went into the writing-room and shut the door behind her. The thought +of the intense relief she would feel directly she had spoken through the +telephone and put off Seymour, directly it was settled that he was not +to come and see her that night, sent her straight to the telephone. She +was eager to communicate with his servant. But she wished now intensely +that she had not waited so long. She might possibly be too late. Seymour +might have returned home, had her message, and started for Berkeley +Square. She took the receiver in her hand and was just going to speak +when she heard a cab outside in the Square. She listened. It came up and +stopped at her door. + +That was Seymour! She was certain of it. She put the receiver back +in its place and stood quite still, listening. The bell was rung. +Murgatroyd could not have gone to bed. He would answer the bell no +doubt. If he did not she would have to answer it. After a pause she +heard the bell again, then, almost immediately the front door being +opened, and a faint murmur of voices. An instant later she heard the cab +drive away. Perhaps--had Seymour called and gone away? Could Murgatroyd +have--The door behind her opened. She turned sharply. + +"Sir Seymour Portman has called to see you, my lady." + +Looking beyond Murgatroyd she saw Seymour standing in the hall, in +evening dress and a thick black overcoat. + +Seymour had sent away his cab! + +She went into the hall smiling faintly. + +"So you have come! I was just going to speak to your man through the +telephone, to tell him not to bother you, that it didn't matter, and +that to-morrow would do as well. It's so very late." + +He began to take off his overcoat, helped by Murgatroyd. + +"Not a bit too late!" he said. "I shall enjoy a little talk with you by +the fire. Thanks, Murgatroyd! I was dining out with the Montgomeries in +Eaton Square." + +"Come upstairs." + +She led the way, and as she mounted slowly with him close behind her she +felt weak and now horribly afraid. She went into the drawing-room. +He followed and shut the door, then came slowly, with his firm tread, +towards her and the fire. + +"Ah!" he said. "You thought of me!" + +He had seen the cigar-box, the whisky and Perrier. A very gentle, +intensely kind, almost beaming look came into his lined face. + +"Or--was it Murgatroyd?" + +"No." + +"I wonder whether you know what it means to an old fellow like myself to +be thought of now and then in these little ways!" + +"Oh--Seymour!" she said. + +Tears stood in her eyes. His few simple words had suddenly brought home +to her in a strange, intense way the long loneliness to which she +had condemned him. And now he was an old fellow! And he was grateful, +beamingly grateful, for a little commonplace thought about his comfort +such as any hostess might surely have had! + +"Don't!" she added. "You hurt me when you say such a thing." + +"Do I? And if I take a cigar?" + +"Here! Let me clip it for you!" + +As she clipped it he said: + +"There is nothing serious the matter, is there, Adela? When I had your +message I felt a little anxious." + +She lit a match for him. She felt very tender over him, but she felt +also very much afraid of him. + +"Your hand is trembling, my dear!" + +He took hold of her wrist, and held it while she lit his cigar. And his +dry, firm fingers seemed to send her some strength. + +"If only I had as little to be ashamed of as he has!" she thought, with +a sort of writhing despair. + +And she longed, as never before, for an easy conscience. + +"I've had rather a trying time just lately," she said. "Come and sit +down. Will you drink something?" + +"Not yet, thank you." + +He sat down in an arm-chair and crossed his legs, putting the right leg +over the left, as he always did. She was on her sofa, leaning on her +left arm, and looking at him. She was trying to read him, to read his +whole character, to force her way to his secret, that she might be +sure how much she might dare. Could he ever turn against her? Was that +possible? His kind, dark eyes were fixed upon her. Could they ever look +unkindly at her? She could scarcely believe that they could. But she +knew that in human nature few things are impossible. Such terrible +changes can take place in a moment. And the mystery is never really +solved. + +"Well, my dear, would you like to tell me what is troubling you? Perhaps +I can do something." + +"I want you to do something for me. Or rather--it would really be for +somebody else. You remember Beryl Van Tuyn?" + +"The daffodil girl--yes." + +"She has been here to-night. She is in a great difficulty. By the way, +of course she knows about my consulting you. I told her I would do it." + +"I did not suppose you would give away a confidence." + +"No! Seymour, has it ever struck you that there is something in you +and in me which is akin in spite of the tremendous differences in our +natures?" + +"Oh yes." + +"I'm glad. I like to feel that and--and I want you to feel it." + +"I do. I feel it strongly." + +"Whatever happens it would always be there." + +"Yes, of course." + +"It helps you to understand me, I expect." + +"Surely it must." + +"I wonder if you could ever--" + +"What is it, Adela?" + +"I wonder if you could ever turn against me." + +"I don't think that is very likely," he said. + +She looked at him. He was smiling. + +"But--could nothing cause you to change towards me?" + +"Some things might cause me to change towards anyone." + +"Ah!" + +"But as they are not in your nature we need not consider them." + +"But how do you know?" + +"I do know." + +"But--what?" + +"I know what you might do, or may have done. I know just as well what +you have never done and could never do." + +"But I have done some horrible things, Seymour." + +"They are past. Let us forget them." + +"But--horrible things come back in one's life! They are like +_revenants_. After years--they rise up." + +"What is the matter, Adela? Do tell me." + +"I want to, but I'm afraid." + +And directly she had told him that she felt less afraid. + +"What are you afraid of?" + +"I'm afraid of you." + +"Of me?" + +"Of what you may think of me, feel towards me, if I tell you." + +"Then--you do care what I feel?" + +"I care very much. I care terribly." + +Sir Seymour uncrossed his legs and made a slight movement as if he were +going to get up. Then he sat still and took a pull at his cigar, and +then he said: + +"You need not be afraid of me, Adela. I have made up my mind about you. +Do you know what that means? It means that you cannot surprise me. And +I think it is surprise which oftenest brings about changes in feeling. +What is it? You say it is something to do with Miss Van Tuyn?" + +"Yes, but my life is in it, too; a horrible bit of my life." + +"What can I do unless you tell me?" + +"That's true." + +She sat for a moment in silence gazing at him, at the lean figure, the +weather-beaten face, the curly white hair, and at the dark eyes which +were looking steadily at her, but not penetratingly, not cruelly. And +then she sat straight up, took her arm from the sofa, folded her hands +on her lap with an effort to make them look calm, and began to tell him. +She spoke very simply, very steadily. She dressed nothing up. She +strove to diminish nothing. Her only aim was to be quite unemotional and +perfectly truthful. She began with Beryl Van Tuyn's acquaintance with +Arabian, how she had met him in Garstin's studio, and went on till she +came to the night when she and Craven had seen them together at the +_Bella Napoli_. + +"I recognized the man Beryl was with," she said. "I knew him to be a +blackguard." + +She described her abrupt departure from the restaurant, Craven's +following her, her effort to persuade him to go back and to take Beryl +home. + +"I went home alone," she said, "and considered what I ought to do. +Finally I wrote Beryl a letter, it was something like this." + +She gave him the gist of the letter. Seymour sat smoking and did not say +a word. Her narrative had been so consecutive and plain that he had +no need to ask any question. And she was glad of his silence. Any +interruption, she felt, would have upset her, perhaps even have confused +her. + +"Beryl was not satisfied with that letter," she went on. "On the night +when she had it--last night--she came to me to ask for an explanation. +I didn't want to give one. I did my best to avoid giving one. But when +I found she was obstinate, and would not drop this man unless I gave +her my reasons for warning her against him, when I found she had +even thought of marrying him, I felt that it was my duty to tell her +everything. So I told her--this." + +And then she told him all the truth about the affair of the jewels, +emphasizing nothing, but omitting nothing. She looked away from him, +turned her eyes towards the fire, and tried to feel very calm and very +detached. It was all ten years ago. But did that make any difference? +For was she essentially different from the woman who had been Arabian's +victim? + +Still Seymour sat as before and went on smoking. As she was gazing at +the fire she did not know for certain whether he was still looking at +her or not. + +At last she had finished the personal part of her narrative, though she +had still to tell him how Beryl had taken it and what had happened that +day. Before going on to that she paused for a moment. And immediately +she heard Seymour move. He got up and went slowly to the table where the +whisky and Perrier water had been placed by Murgatroyd. Then she looked +at him. He stood with his back to her. She saw him bend down and pour +out a glass of the water. Without turning he lifted the glass to his +mouth and drank. Then he put the glass down; and then he stood for a +moment quite still, always keeping his back towards her. She wondered +what he was looking at. That was the question in her mind. "What can +Seymour be looking at?" + +At last he turned round. She thought that his face looked unusually +stern, and his bushy eyebrows seemed--so she fancied--to be drawn down +low above his eyes. + +"Go on--my dear," he said in a rather gruff and very low voice. + +She quivered. She, perhaps, scarcely knew why. At the moment she really +believed that she did not know why. Suddenly emotion began to gain on +her. But she struggled resolutely against it. + +"Aren't you--don't you mean to sit down again?" she said. + +"No. I think I'll stand." + +And he came slowly to stand by the fire. + +"Well," she began again, making a great effort, "I thought that was all. +I didn't think there was anything more for me to do. But Beryl came back +again to-night and begged me to help her. She is terrified of what he +may do. I tried to reassure her. But it was no good." + +And again she narrated, now with difficulty forcing herself to seem calm +and unembarrassed, exactly what had happened that day between Beryl Van +Tuyn and herself, till she came to the moment when she had turned away +from Beryl and had gone to stand by the fire. Then once more she paused +and seemed seized by hesitation. As Sir Seymour said nothing, did not +help her out, at last she went on: + +"Then I thought of you. I had never meant to tell anyone but Beryl, but +as _I_ could do nothing to help her, and as she is perhaps, really in +danger--she is only a girl, and she spoke of the fascination of fear--I +felt I must make a further effort to do something. And I thought of +you." + +"Why was that?" asked Sir Seymour, turning towards her, but not +impulsively. + +"Because I knew if anyone could stop this thing you could." + +"That was your reason?" + +"That--and--and I knew that I could never tell all this--about myself, I +mean--to anyone but you. For ten years no one has known it." + +"You felt you could tell me!" + +The way in which he said those words was so inexpressive that Lady +Sellingworth did not know what was the feeling behind them, whether it +was astonishment, indignation, or something quite different. + +"I--I didn't want to--" She almost faltered, again full of fear, almost +of terror. "I was afraid to. But I felt I could, and I had told Beryl +so." + +"I wonder what made you feel you could," he said, still in the same +curiously inexpressive way. + +She said nothing. She leaned back on the sofa and her hands began to +move restlessly, nervously. She plucked at her dress, put a hand to the +ruby pinned in the front of her bodice, lifted the hand to her face, +laid it on the back of the sofa. + +"What was it?" he said. + +"I hardly feel I can tell you," she said. + +"Then don't, if you would rather not. But I should be glad to know." + +"Would you? I told Beryl the reason." + +She felt forced to say that, forced to speak that bit of truth. + +"Then, if so, cannot you tell me?" + +"I said--I said I could tell you because I knew you were fond of me." + +"Ah--that was it!" + +He was silent. At last he said: + +"I should like to ask you a question. May I?" + +"Yes--please do." + +"Are you very fond of Beryl Van Tuyn?" + +"Oh, no!" + +"Aren't you at all fond of her?" + +"I'm afraid not. No. But I like her much better than I did." + +"Since you have done something for her?" + +"Perhaps it is that." + +"It is that." + +He came towards the sofa and stood by it looking down at her. + +"I told you just now, Adela, that you couldn't surprise me. What you +have done in connexion with Beryl Van Tuyn has not surprised me. I +always knew you were capable of such a thing; yes, even of a thing as +fine as that. Thank God you have had your opportunity. Of course you +took it. But thank God you have had it." + +"I had to take it. I couldn't do anything else." + +"Of course _you_ couldn't." + +She got up. She did not know why. She just felt that she had to get up. +Seymour put his hands on her shoulders. + +"Have you ever wondered why I was able to go on loving you?" he asked +her. + +"Yes, very often." + +"Well, now perhaps you won't wonder any more." + +And he lifted his hands from her shoulders. But he stood there for a +moment looking at her. And in his eyes she read her reward. + + + +CHAPTER XI + +Early on the following morning, soon after ten o'clock Miss Van Tuyn was +startled by a knock on her bedroom door. Everything at all unexpected +startled her just now. Her nerves, as even old Fanny could not help +noticing, had gone "all to pieces." She lived in perpetual fear. Nearly +all the previous night she had been lying awake turning over and over in +her mind the horrible possibilities of the future. It was in vain that +she tried to call her normal common sense to the rescue, in vain that +she tried to look at facts calmly, to sum them up dispassionately, and +to draw from them reasonable conclusions. She could not be reasonable. +Her brain said to her: "You have no reason for fear. You are perfectly +safe. Your folly and wilfulness, your carelessness of opinion, your +reckless spirit of defiant independence, your ugly and abominable +desires"--her brain did not spare her--"might easily have brought you +to irretrievable ruin. They might have destroyed you. But Fate has +intervened to protect you. You have been saved from the consequences of +your own imprudence--to call it by no other name. Give thanks to the God +of luck, and to the woman who sacrificed her pride for your sake, and +live differently in the future." Her brain, in fact, told her she was +saved. But something else that she could not classify, something still +and remote and persistent, told her that she was in great danger. She +said to herself, thinking of Arabian: "What can he do? I am my own +mistress. If I choose to cut him dead he must accept my decision to have +nothing more to do with him and go out of my life. He simply can't do +anything else. I have the whole thing in my hands. He hasn't a scrap of +my writing. He can't blackmail me. He can't compromise me more than I +have already compromised myself by going about with him and being seen +in his flat. He is helpless, and I have absolutely nothing to be afraid +of." She said all this to herself, and yet she was full of fear. That +fear had driven her to Lady Sellingworth on the previous evening, and it +had grown in the night. The thought of Arabian tormented her. She said +to herself that he could do nothing and, even while she said it, the +inexorable something within her whispered: "What might not that man do?" +Her imagination put no limit now to his possibilities for evil. All the +horrors of the underworld were, for her, congregated together in him. +She trembled at the memory of having been in his arms, shut up alone +with him in the flat by the river. She attributed to him nameless +powers. Something mysterious in him, something occult, had reduced her +apparently to the level of an imaginative child, who peoples the night +with spectres and conceives of terrors she cannot describe. + +She felt that Arabian was not as other men, that he really was what +Garstin had called him, a king in the underworld, and that that was why +he had had power over her. She felt that he had within him something +which ruled, which would have its way. She felt that he was more +persistent than other men, more crafty, more self-possessed, more +capable, more subtle. She felt that he had greatness as a ruffian, as +another man might have greatness as a saint. And she felt above all that +he was an expert with women. + +If he had wanted Adela Sellingworth as well as her jewels, how would +it have been then? What would have happened ten years ago? He had not +wanted Adela Sellingworth. But he wanted her. She was positive of that. +That he had known she was well off and was going to be rich she did +not doubt for a moment. She could never forget as long as she lived the +fleeting expression which had changed his face when she had told him +of the death of her father. At that moment he had certainly felt that +a fortune was probably almost within his grasp. Nevertheless she was +positive, she was absolutely certain as a girl can be about such a +thing, that he wanted and had long wanted her. He had waited because +mingled with his man's desire for her there had been the other desire. +He might have rushed at an intrigue. Such a man could have no real +delicacies. He was too wise to rush at a marriage. And he must have had +marriage in his mind almost ever since he had met her. He must have made +inquiries, have found out all about her, and then laid his plans. Her +looks had probably brought him for the first time to Garstin's studio. +But it was not only his admiration for her appearance which had brought +him there again and again, which had taught him detached self-control, +almost distant respect, puzzling reserve, secrecy in intimacy, which had +taught him to wait--till he knew. + +And when he had not waited, when he had chosen to give way because the +right moment had come, when he had made her go with him to his flat, +when he had shown her what he wanted! His warmth then had not been a +pretending. And yet, just before he had taken her in his arms, he had +deliberately managed so that Mrs. Birchington should see her go into his +flat. What a horrible mingling of elements there was in this man! Even +his natural passions were intertwined with his hideous professional +instincts The stretched-out hand of the lover was also the stretched-out +hand of the thief. + +When she heard the knock on her bedroom door she trembled. + +"Yes?" she said, after a moment of hesitation. + +She was up and was sitting in an arm-chair near the window having +breakfast, and looking at her post. + +"Yes?" + +Another knock. + +"Come in!" she cried. + +The door was gingerly opened and a page-boy showed himself. Miss Van +Tuyn looked at him with dread. + +"What is it? Something for me?" + +"There's a gentleman wants to see you, ma'am." + +"I can't see anyone. I told them so at the bureau. Where is he?" + +"Down below, ma'am." + +"Send him away. Say I'm still asleep. Say--" + +She noticed for the first time that the boy had a card. He had been +hiding it pressed to a salver against his trouser-leg. Now he lifted the +salver. But Miss Van Tuyn did not take the card. She was certain the man +below was Arabian. + +"I can't see anyone. It's much too early." + +"The gentleman said it was very important, ma'am, and I was to say so," +said the page, with a certain chubby dignity that was almost official. + +Miss Van Tuyn was now terrified. It was Arabian, and he would not go +till he had seen her. She was certain of that. He would wait downstairs. +She would be a prisoner in her rooms. All her fear of him seemed to rush +upon her intensified, a fear such as she had never felt before. She +got up tingling all over, and with a feeling as if all the blood had +suddenly sunk away from her temples. + +"You must tell him--" + +The page-boy was now holding out the salver with the card on it, almost +as if in self-protection. Her eyes fell on it against her will, and she +saw there were four printed words on it. On Arabian's card there were +only two: Nicolas Arabian. Instantly she stretched out her hand and took +the card up-- + +"General Sir Seymour Portman." + + +Her relief was so great that she could not conceal it. + +"Oh!" she exclaimed. + +"Ma'am?" said the boy, looking more official. + +"Please run down--" + +"Run ma'am?" + +"Yes--down at once and bring the gentleman up to my sitting-room. Be as +quick as you can." + +The page retired with a stiff back and rather slow-moving legs. + +So Adela had wasted no time! She had been as good as her word. What a +splendid woman she was! + +Miss Van Tuyn did something to her gown, to her hair. Not that she +wanted to make an impression on Sir Seymour. Circumstances were +combining at present to drive her away from her vanity. Really she acted +mechanically. Then she prepared to go to the sitting-room. And then, at +the bedroom door she hesitated, suddenly realizing what lay before her. +Finally she opened the door and listened. She heard almost immediately +another door opened and a boy's chirpy voice say: + +"This way, sir, please!" + +Then she went out and came upon Sir Seymour Portman in the lobby. + +"How very kind of you to come!" she said, with an attempt at eager +cordiality but feeling now strangely shy and guilty. "And so early!" + +"Good morning! May I put my hat here?" + +"Yes, do. And leave your coat. Is it cold out?" + +"Rather cold." + +"This is my little room." + +She went before him into the sitting-room which had a dreadfully early +morning air, with its only just beginning fire, and its wintry dimness +of the poor and struggling day. + +"If only we could have met in the evening!" she thought. + +It was awful to discuss such a situation as hers when the milkman had +scarcely finished his rounds, and when her vitality had not been warmed +up. + +"Do sit down, Sir Seymour!" she said. + +"Thank you!" + +And he sat down in a businesslike sort of way, and at once began. + +"Rather late last night I saw Lady Sellingworth." + +"Oh? Yes?" + +"She sent for me. You know why, I understand." + +"Yes. I had been with her." + +"She told me the whole matter." + +"Oh! Did she? I--I've been awfully foolish. I deserve to--I deserve +everything. I know that. Adela has been so good to me. I can never say +how good. She might so easily have--I mean considering the way I have--" + +She stopped. Adela could not have told Sir Seymour about the unkindness +of the girl she had sent him to help. Miss Van Tuyn remembered that just +in time. + +"Lady Sellingworth did what you wished," said Sir Seymour, still in +a quiet and businesslike way, "and consulted me. She told me what you +wanted; that this man, Arabian, should be made to understand that he +must finally give up any plans he had formed with regard to you." + +Miss Van Tuyn felt the red beginning to creep in her cheeks. + +"Yes," she said, looking down. + +"Perhaps this can be done," continued Sir Seymour, in a practical way, +rather like a competent man at a board meeting. "We must see." + +He did not suggest that she could do it herself. She was thankful to him +for that. + +"Have you a photograph of this man?" he continued. + +"Oh--no!" + +"That is a pity." + +"But why do you want--" + +"I should like to have his photograph to show at Scotland Yard." + +"Oh!" she exclaimed. + +Her face was scarlet now. Her forehead was burning. An acute and +horrible sense of shame possessed her, seemed to be wrapped round her +like a stinging garment. + +"I've--I've never had a photograph of him," she said. + +After a short pause Sir Seymour said: + +"You've got his address." + +The words seemed a statement as he said them. + +"Yes," she said. + +"Will you kindly write it down for me?" + +"Yes." + +She got up, still wrapped up in shame, and went to the writing-table. +She took up a pen to write Arabian's address. But she could not remember +the number of the flat. Her memory refused to give it to her. + +"I can't remember the number," she said, standing by the writing-table. + +"If you can give me the address of the flats I can easily find out the +number." + +"It is Rose Tree Gardens"--she began writing it down--"Rose Tree +Gardens, Chelsea. It is close to the river." + +She came away from the writing-table, and gave him the paper with the +address on it. + +"Thank you!" + +He took the paper, folded it up, drew out a leather case from an inner +pocket of his braided black jacket, and consigned the paper to it. Miss +Van Tuyn sat down again. + +"I understand you met this man at the studio of Mr. Garstin, the +painter?" said Sir Seymour. + +"Yes. But he wasn't a friend of Mr. Garstin's. Mr. Garstin saw him at +the Cafe Royal and wished to paint him, so he asked him to come to the +studio." + +"And he has painted a portrait of him?" + +"Yes." + +"Is it a good one?" + +"Yes, wonderful!" she said, with a shudder. + +"I mean really is it a good likeness?" + +"Oh! Yes, it is very like in a way, horribly like." + +"In a way?" + +"I mean that it gives the worst side. But it is like." + +"I suppose the portrait is still in Mr. Garstin's studio?" + +"I suppose it is. I haven't seen Mr. Garstin for two or three days. But +I suppose it's there." + +"Please give me Mr. Garstin's address--the studio address," said Sir +Seymour. + +"Yes." + +She got up again and went to the writing-table. There seemed to her to +be something deadly in this interview. She could not feel humanity in +it. Sir Seymour was terribly impersonal. There was something almost +machine like about him. She did not know him well, but how different +he had been to her in Berkeley Square! There he had been a charming +old courtier. He had shown a sort of gallant admiration of her. He had +beamed kindly upon her youth and her daring. Now he showed nothing. + +But--Adela had told him! + +She wrote down Dick Garstin's address in Glebe Place, and was about to +come away from the writing-table when Sir Seymour said: + +"Could you also kindly give me your card with a line of introduction to +Mr. Garstin? I don't know him." + +"Oh, I will of course!" + +She found one of her cards and hesitated. + +"What shall I put?" she asked. + +"You might put 'To introduce,' and then my name." + +"Yes." + +She wrote the words on the card. + +"Perhaps it might be as well to add '_Please see him_,' and underline +it. I understand Mr. Garstin is a brusque sort of fellow." + +"Yes, he is." + +She added the words he had suggested. + +"It's very--it's more than kind of you to take all this trouble," she +said, again coming to him. "I am ashamed." + +She gave him the card. She could not look into his face. + +"I am ashamed," she repeated, in a low voice. + +"Well now," he said, "try to get the matter off your mind. Don't +give way to useless fears. Most of us fear far more than there is any +occasion for." + +He stood up. + +"Yes?" + +"If you wish for me, call me up. I am at St. James's Palace. But I don't +suppose you will have need of me. By the way, there's one thing more I +perhaps ought to ask you. Forgive me! Has there ever been anything in +the nature of a threat from this fellow?" + +"Oh, no!" she said. "No, no, no!" + +She was swallowing sobs that suddenly began rising in her throat, sobs +of utter shame and of stricken vanity. + +"It's all too horrible!" she thought. + +For a moment she hated the straight-backed, soldierly old man who was +standing before her. For he saw her in the dust, where no one ought ever +to see her. + +"He's in love with me!" she said. + +It was as if the words were forced out of her against her will. Directly +she had said them she bitterly regretted them. They were the cry of her +undying vanity that must try to put itself right, to stand up for itself +at whatever cost. Directly she had spoken them she saw a slight twitch +pull the left side of his face upward. It had upon her a moral effect. +She felt it as his irresistible comment--a comment of the body, but +coming from elsewhere--on her and her nature, and her recent association +with Arabian. And suddenly her hatred died, and she longed to do +something to establish herself in his regard, to gain his respect. + +Already he was holding out his hand to her. She took his hand and held +it tightly. + +"Don't think too badly of me," she said imploringly. "I want you not +to. Because I think you see clearly--you see people as they are. You +saw Adela as she is. And perhaps no one else did. But you don't know how +fine she is--even you don't. I had treated her badly. I had been unkind +to her, very unkind. I had--I had been spiteful to her, and tried to +harm her happiness. And yet she told me! I am sure no other woman would +ever have done what she has done." + +"She had to do it," he said gravely. + +But his hand now slightly pressed hers. + +"_Had_ to? But why?" + +"Because she happens to be a thoroughbred." + +"Ah!" she breathed. + +She was looking into his dark old eyes, and now they were kind, almost +soft. + +"We must take care," he added, "that what she had done shall not be done +in vain. We owe her that. Good-bye." + +"And you don't think too badly about me?" + +"Once I called you the daffodil girl to her." + +"Did you?" + +"Youth is pretty cruel sometimes. When you've forgotten all this, don't +forget to be kind." + +"To her! But how could I?" + +"But I don't mean only to her!" + +And then he left her. + +When he had gone she sat still for a long while, thinking. And the +strange thing was that for once she was not thinking about herself. + + + +CHAPTER XII + +Rather late in the afternoon of the same day, towards half-past five, +Dick Garstin, who was alone in his studio upstairs smoking a pipe and +reading Delacroix's "Mon Journal," heard his door bell ring. He was +stretched out on a divan, and he lay for a moment without moving, +puffing at his pipe with the book in his hand. Then he heard the bell +again, and got up. Arabian's portrait stood on its easel in the middle +of the room. Garstin glanced at it as he went toward the stairs. Since +the day when he had shown it for the first time to Beryl Van Tuyn and +Arabian he had not seen either of them. Nor had he had a word from them. +This had not troubled him. Already he was at work on another sitter, a +dancer in the Russian ballet, talented, decadent, impertinent, and, so +Garstin believed, marked out for early death in a madhouse--altogether +quite an interesting study. But now, looking at Arabian's portrait, +Garstin thought: + +"Probably the man himself. I knew he would come back, and we should have +a battle. Now for it!" + +And he smiled as he went striding downstairs. + +But when he opened the door he found standing outside in the foggy +darkness a tall, soldierly old man, with an upright figure, white hair, +and moustache, a lined red face and dark eyes which looked straight into +his. + +"Who are you, sir?" said Garstin. "And what do you want?" + +"Are you Mr. Dick Garstin?" said the old man. + +"Or rather, elderly," Garstin now said to himself, glancing sharply over +his visitor's strong, lean frame and broad shoulders. + +"Yes, I am." + +The stranger opened a leather case and took out a card. + +"Perhaps you will kindly read that." + +Garstin took the card. + +"Beryl!" he said. "What's up?" + +And he read: "To introduce Sir Seymour Portman, _please see him_. B. V. +T." + +"Are you Sir Seymour Portman?" + +"Yes." + +"Come in." + +Sir Seymour stepped in. + +"Take off your coat?" + +"If you'll allow me. I won't keep you long." + +"The longer the better!" said Garstin with offhand heartiness. He had +taken a liking to his visitor at first sight. + +"A damned fine old chap!" had been his instant mental comment on seeing +Sir Seymour. "A fellow to swear by!" + +"Come upstairs. I'll show you the way," he added. + +He tramped up and Sir Seymour followed him. + +"I do most of my painting here," said Garstin. "Sit down. Have a cigar." + +"Thank you very much, but I won't smoke," said Sir Seymour, looking +round casually at the portraits in the room before sitting down and +crossing his right leg over his left leg. "And I won't take up your time +for more than a few minutes." + +At this moment he noticed at some distance the portrait of Arabian on +its easel, and he put up his eyeglasses. Then he moved. + +"Will you allow me to look at that portrait over there?" he asked. + +"Rather! It's the last thing I've done, and not so bad either!" + +Sir Seymour got up and went to stand in front of the portrait. He was +puzzled, and his face showed that; he frowned and pursed his lips, +bending forward. + +"This is a portrait of a man called Arabian, isn't it?" he said at +length, turning round to Garstin. + +"Yes. D'you know the fellow?" + +"I haven't that--privilege," replied Sir Seymour with an extraordinarily +dry intonation. "But I must have seen him somewhere." + +"About town. He's been here some time." + +"But he's altered!" said Sir Seymour, still looking hard at the +portrait. + +"I'm not a photographer, you know!" + +"A photographer!" said Sir Seymour, who was something of a connoisseur +in painting, and had a few good specimens of the Barbizon School in his +apartment at St. James's Palace. "No. This isn't a photograph in paint. +It's a"--he gazed again at the portrait--"it's a masterly study of a +remarkable and hideous personality." + +"Hideous!" said Garstin sharply. + +"Yes, hideous," said Sir Seymour grimly. "An abominable face! Ah!" + +He had been bending, but now pulled himself up. + +"I saw that man at the Ritz Hotel a good many years ago," he said. "I +was giving a lunch. He was lunching close by with--let me see--an old +woman, yes, in a rusty black wig. Someone spoke to me about him, and +I--, Yes! I remember it all perfectly. But he looked much younger +then. It must be over ten years ago. I spotted him at once as a shady +character. One would, of course. But you have brought it all to the +surface in some subtle way. Does he like it?" + +"To tell the truth I don't believe he does." + +"I wish to speak to you about that man." + +"Sit down again. Have a whisky?" + +"No, thanks." + +"What is it? Are the police after him?" + +"I'm not aware of it." + +"I know everything about him, as you see"--he shot out an arm towards +the portrait--"and nothing. I picked him up at the Cafe Royal. He's a +magnificent specimen." + +"No doubt. What I want to know is whether you will allow me to bring two +or three people here to see this portrait? I'm doing this--I'm here now, +and want to come here again, if you are so kind as to allow me--" + +"Always jolly glad to see you!" interjected Garstin, with a sort of +gruff heartiness. + +"Thank you! I'm doing this for your friend, Miss Beryl Van Tuyn." + +"Ha!" said Garstin. + +"I don't think I need to go into the matter further than to say that she +does not wish to have anything more to do with this Mr. Arabian." + +"Oh, she's found him out at last, has she, and put you up to--" + +Garstin paused. Then he added: + +"It's like Beryl's cheek to ask a man of your type to interfere in such +a matter. Fellows like Arabian are hardly in your line." + +"Oh, I've had to deal with men of all classes." + +"And quite able to, I should say. So Beryl's had enough of that chap?" + +"Mr. Garstin, I am going to be frank with you, frank to this extent. +Arabian is a blackguard." + +"No news to me!" + +"Miss Van Tuyn can have no further acquaintance with him, and I am +going to do my best to see to that. But I believe this fellow is very +persistent." + +"I should say so. He's a hard nut to crack. You may depend on that." + +"And therefore strong measures may be necessary." + +"Whom do you want to bring here to look at my stuff?" + +"Two or three officials from Scotland Yard." + +Garstin uttered the thrush's song through half-closed lips. + +"That's it! Well, you can bring them along whenever you like." + +"Thank you. They may not be art experts, but they, or one of them, may +possibly be useful for my purpose." + +"Right you are! So you know something definite about the fellow?" + +"Yes." + +"Don't bother yourself! I don't want to know what it is," snapped out +Garstin abruptly. + +Sir Seymour smiled, and it was almost what Lady Sellingworth called his +"beaming" smile. He got up and held out his hand. + +"Thank you," he said. + +Garstin gave him a strong grip. + +"Glad I've met you!" he said. "Beryl's done me a good turn." + +"Perhaps you will allow me to say--though I'm no expert, and my opinion +may therefore have no value in your eyes--but you've painted a portrait +such as one very seldom sees nowadays." + +"D'you mean you think it's fine?" + +"Very fine! Wonderful!" + +Garstin's usually hard face softened in an extraordinary way. + +"Your opinion goes down in my memory in red letters." + +Sir Seymour turned to go. As he did so he cast a look round the studio, +which suggested to Garstin that he would perhaps like to examine the +other portraits dotted about on easels and hanging on the walls. A faint +reddish line appeared in the painter's shaven blue cheeks. + +"Not worth your while!" he almost muttered. + +"Eh?" said Sir Seymour. + +"A lot of decadent stuff. I've been choosing my models badly. But--" he +paused, looking almost diffident for a moment. + +"Yes?" said Sir Seymour. + +"Perhaps, if we ever get to know each other a bit better, you'd let me +have a shy at you for a change?" + +"That would be an honour," said Sir Seymour with a touch of his very +simple, courtly manner. + +"In return you know for my letting in the detectives!" said Garstin, +with a laugh. "Hulloh!" + +He had heard the bell ring downstairs. + +"If it's our man!" he said, instinctively lowering his voice. + +"Arabian! Are you expecting him?" + +"No. But it's just as likely as not. Want to meet him?" + +"I can hardly say that!" said Sir Seymour, looking suddenly, Garstin +thought, remarkably like a very well-bred ramrod. + +"Well, then--" + +"But it may be necessary." He hesitated obviously, then added: "If it +should be Arabian by chance, perhaps it would be as well if I did see +him." + +"Just as you like." + +"I'll stay if you will allow me," said Sir Seymour, with sudden +decision, like a man who had just overcome something. + +The bell rang again. + +"Can you act?" said Garstin, quickly. + +"Sufficiently, I dare say," said Sir Seymour, with a very faint and grim +smile. + +"Then you'd better! He can!" + +And Garstin sprang down the stairs. Two or three minutes later Arabian +walked into the studio with Garstin just behind him. When he saw Sir +Seymour a slight look of surprise came into his face, and he half turned +towards Garstin as if in inquiry. Sir Seymour realized that Garstin had +not mentioned that there was a visitor in the studio. + +"A friend of mine, Sir Seymour Portman," said Garstin. "Mr. Nicolas +Arabian!" + +Arabian bowed and said formally: + +"Very glad to meet you." + +Sir Seymour bowed, and said: + +"Thanks." + +"Sit down, my boy!" said Garstin, with sudden heartiness, laying a hand +on Arabian's shoulder. "And I know you'll put your lips to a whisky." + +"Thank you," said Arabian. + +And he sat down in a deep arm-chair. Sir Seymour saw his brown eyes, for +a moment hard and inquiring, rest upon the visitor he had not expected +to find, and wondered whether Arabian remembered having seen him before. +If so Arabian would also remember that he, Seymour, was a friend of +Adela Sellingworth, who had been with him at the Ritz on that day ten +years ago. + +"Say how much," said Garstin, coming up with the whisky. + +Sir Seymour noticed that Arabian took a great deal of the spirit and +very little soda-water with it. Directly his glass was filled--it was a +long glass--he drank almost greedily. + +"A cigar?" said Garstin. "But I know without asking." + +"I do not refuse," said Arabian. + +And Sir Seymour hated his voice, while realizing that it was agreeable, +perhaps even seductive. + +"There! Now we're cozy!" said Garstin. "But I wish Sir Seymour you'd +join us!" + +"If you will allow me I will smoke a light cigar I have here." + +And Sir Seymour drew out a cigar-case and lit up a pale and long +Havannah. + +"That's better!" said Garstin, drinking. "How's Beryl, my boy?" + +"I have not seen Miss Van Tuyn to-day," said Arabian. "But I hope to see +her to-morrow." + +He looked at Sir Seymour, and there seemed to be a flicker of suspicion +in his eyes. + +"DO you know Miss Van Tuyn?" he asked. + +"Very slightly," said Sir Seymour. "I have met her once or twice in +London. She is a very beautiful creature." + +There was constraint in the room. Sir Seymour felt it strongly and +feared that it came from something in him. Evidently he was not a very +good actor. He found it difficult to be easy and agreeable with a man +whom he longed to get hold of by the collar and thrash till it was time +to hand him over to the police. But he resolved to make a strong effort +to conceal what he could not conquer. And he began to talk to Arabian. +Afterwards he could not remember what they had talked about just then. +He could only remember the strangeness which he had realized as he sat +there smoking his Havannah, the strangeness of life. That he should +be smoking and chatting with the scoundrel who had changed Adela's +existence, who had tricked her, robbed her, driven her into the +solitude which had lasted ten years! And why was he doing it? He did not +absolutely know. But his instinct had told him to stay on in Garstin's +studio when everything else in him, revolting, had shrunk from meeting +this beast, unless and until he could deal with him properly. + +He had smoked about half his cigar, and the constraint in the +room seemed to him to be lessened, though not abolished, when the +conversation took a turn quite unexpected by him. And all that was said +in the studio from that moment remained firmly fixed in his memory. +Garstin got up to fetch some more whisky for Arabian, whose glass was +now empty, and as he came back with the decanter he said to Arabian: + +"Sir Seymour's had a good look at your portrait, Arabian." + +"Indeed!" said Arabian. + +"And he thinks it's damn fine. As I'm giving it to you, I thought you'd +like to know that it's appreciated." + +There was an unmistakably malicious expression on Garstin's face as he +spoke, and his small eyes travelled quickly from Arabian to Sir Seymour. + +"In fact," added Garstin, lifting the decanter to pour the whisky +into Arabian's glass, "Sir Seymour is so pleased with my work that I +shouldn't wonder if he lets me paint him." + +"Ah!" said Arabian, looking at Sir Seymour, with a sudden hard intensity +which strangely transformed his face, "this is good news. I am pleased. +But--thank you!" (to Garstin who poured out some more whisky) "that will +do, please! But you are not afraid of the drawback?" + +"What drawback?" asked Sir Seymour. + +"Mr. Dick Garstin makes us all look like _canaille_!" + +"Indeed!" + +"But have you not noticed this?" said Arabian. + +And the agreeable softness of his voice altered, giving way to an almost +rasping quality of sound. He put down his glass and got up, with a lithe +and swift movement that seemed somehow menacing. It was so light, so +agile, so noiseless and controlled. + +"Surely you have. Please, look at all these!" + +He made a sweeping circular movement with his arm. Sir Seymour got on +his feet. + +"Do you not see? There is the same thing in all. We are all placed by +Mr. Dick Garstin in the same boat. Even the judge, he is there too. +Look!" + +Sir Seymour looked from canvas to canvas and then at Arabian. + +"Well?" said Arabian, still in the rasping voice. "Do I say true? Are we +not all turned into _canaille_ by Dick Garstin?" + +Sir Seymour did not answer. + +"With you if you are painted," continued Arabian, "it will be the same. +Dick Garstin must see bad in us all." + +He laughed and his laugh was oddly shrill and ugly. + +"It is an _idee fixe_," he said. "You see, I am frank. I say what I +think, Dick Garstin." + +"No objection to that!" said Garstin, with a mischievous smile. "But +if you don't like your picture you won't want to have it. So let us +consider our bargain cancelled." + +"Oh, no," said Arabian, "the picture is mine." + +"The bargain we made," said Garstin, turning to Sir Seymour, "was this: +Mr. Arabian was to be kind enough to sit to me on two conditions. One +was in my favour, the other in his." + +"I beg your pardon!" said Arabian sharply. + +But Garstin continued inflexibly: + +"I was to have the right to exhibit the picture, and, after that, I was +to hand it over as a present to Arabian." + +"No, that was not the bargain, please!" said Arabian. + +"Not the bargain?" said Garstin, with an air of humorous surprise. + +"Oh, no. You kindly said that if I gave up my time to you, as I have +done, very much of my time, you would give me the picture when it was +finished. That was the bargain between us. But I did not say I would +allow you to exhibit my picture." + +"But I told you before I ever put a smudge of paint on the canvas that I +should want to exhibit it." + +"That is quite true." + +"Well, then?" + +"Two must speak to make a bargain. Is it not so?" He spoke to Sir +Seymour. + +"I presume so," said the latter, very solemnly. + +He had realized that this odd scene had been brought about deliberately, +and perhaps by both of the men who stood before him. Garstin had +certainly started it, but Arabian had surely with purpose, taken the cue +from Garstin. + +"Ah! You hear!" + +"I do!" said Garstin, composedly. + +"Well, Dick Garstin, I did not say I would permit my picture to be +exhibited by you. And that was on purpose. I intended to wait until I +saw how you would make me appear. I have waited. There I am!" He pointed +to the portrait. "It is fine, perhaps, as you say. But I do not choose +that people should see that and be told, 'That is Nicolas Arabian.' I do +not give you permission to show that portrait." + +"You don't like it?" + +"You have made of me a beast. That is what I say." + +"Sorry you think so! But what's to be done? That picture is worth from +eight hundred to a thousand pounds at the very least. You don't suppose +I am going to give it to you without letting the people who care about +my stuff have a look at it? Why, where is your sense of fairness, my +boy?" + +"I do not know really what you mean by that!" + +"Well, I ask you, Sir Seymour, would it be fair that I should have all +my trouble for nothing? He can have the picture. But I want my _kudos_. +Eh?" + +"I quite understand that," said Sir Seymour, calmly. + +Arabian turned round and faced him. And as he did so Sir Seymour said to +himself: + +"The fellow's been drinking heavily." + +This thought had not occurred in his mind till this moment, but he felt +certain that Garstin's sharp eyes had noticed the fact sooner, probably +directly they had seen Arabian at the street door. No doubt the very +stiff whisky-and-soda Arabian had just drunk had made it more obvious. +Anyhow, Sir Seymour had no doubt at all about it now. It was not +noticeable in Arabian's face. But his manner began to show it to the +experienced eyes of the old campaigner. + +"But, please, do you understand my feeling? Would you like to be made +what you are not--a beast?" + +Sir Seymour saw Garstin, perhaps with difficulty, shutting off a smile. + +"I can't say I should," he answered, with absolute gravity. + +"Would you," pursued Arabian, apparently in desperate earnest, "would +you allow a picture of you like this to be shown to all your friends?" + +"I think," returned Sir Seymour, still with an absolute and simple +gravity, "that I should object to that--strongly." + +"You hear!" said Arabian to Garstin. "It is your friend who says this." + +"I can't help that," said Garstin, totally unperturbed. "I'm going to +exhibit that picture." + +"No! No!" said Arabian. + +And as he spoke he suddenly bared his teeth. + +Garstin, without making any rejoinder to this almost brutally forcible +exclamation, which was full of violent will, thrust a hand into his +waistcoat pocket and pulled out a big gold watch. + +"I say, I'm awfully sorry," he said, with a swift glance at Sir Seymour, +which the latter did not miss, "but I must turn you both out. I'm dining +at the Arts Club to-night. Jinks--you know the Slade Jinks--is coming to +pick me up. You'll forgive me, Sir Seymour?" + +His voice was unusually gentle as he said the last words. + +"Of course. I've stayed an unconscionable time. Are you going my way, +Mr. Arabian?" + +Garstin's mouth twitched. Before Arabian could reply, Garstin said: + +"Look here, Arabian!" + +"Yes--please?" said Arabian. + +"You and I differ pretty badly about this business of your damned +portrait." + +"Ah, yes!" + +"Sir Seymour's a just man, a very just man. Let's hear what he has to +say." + +"But you tell us you have no time!" + +"Exactly! Jinks you know! He's a devil for punctuality. They set the +clocks by him at the Slade! But _you_--" + +"Yes?" + +"Talk it over with Sir Seymour. Get his unbiased verdict. And let me +hear from you any time to-morrow. He'll say what's fair and square. I +know that." + +While speaking he went towards the head of the stairs, followed by Sir +Seymour and Arabian. As Arabian passed the place where the whisky stood +he picked up his glass and drunk it off at a gulp. + +A minute later Sir Seymour and he were out in the night together. + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +"Which way do you go, please?" asked Arabian. + +"I'll go your way if you like. I live in St. James's Palace. But I'm in +no hurry. Do you live in my direction?" + +"Oh, no. I live quite near in Chelsea." + +"I can walk to your door then if you don't mind having my company," said +Sir Seymour. + +"Thank you!" + +And they walked on together in silence. Sir Seymour wondered what was +passing in the mind of the man beside him. He felt sure that Arabian had +been at first suspicious of him in the studio. Had he been able by his +manner to lull that suspicion to rest? He was inclined to believe so. +But it was impossible for him to be sure. After two or three minutes of +silence he spoke again. But he made no allusion to the recent scene +in the studio, or to Garstin's parting words. His instinct counselled +silence on that point. So he talked of London, the theatres, the affairs +of the day, trying to seem natural, like a man of the world with a +casual acquaintance. He noticed that Arabian's answers and comments were +brief. Sometimes when he did speak he spoke at random. It was obvious +that he was preoccupied. He seemed to Sir Seymour to be brooding darkly +over something. This state of things continued until they reached Rose +Tree Gardens. + +"This is it," said Arabian, stopping before the big porch. + +Sir Seymour stopped, too, hesitated, then said: + +"I'll say good night to you." + +Arabian shot a piercing and morose glance at him, moved his right hand +as if about to extend it, dropped it and said: + +"Well, but we have not spoken any more about my picture!" + +"No." + +"Dick Garstin said you would decide." + +"Scarcely that--was it?" + +"But I think it was." + +"Well, but it's really not my affair." + +"But he made it so." + +"Perhaps. But you didn't say--" + +"But I should like to know what you think." + +"Very good of you. But I'm an outsider. I wasn't there when you made +what you say was a bargain." + +"No, but--" + +Again he sent a piercing glance to Sir Seymour, who received it with +absolute sangfroid, and stood looking completely detached, firm and +simple. At that moment Sir Seymour felt positive that a struggle was +going on in Arabian in which the drink he had taken was playing a part. +The intensely suspicious nature of the enemy of society, always on the +alert, because always liable to be in danger, was at odds with the demon +that steals away the wits of men, unchains their recklessness, unlocks +their tongues, uncovers often their most secret inclinations. Arabian +was hesitating. At that moment the least thing would turn him one way or +the other, would prompt him to give himself to the intense caution which +was probably natural to him, or would drive him to the incaution which +he would regret when he was physically normal again. It seemed to Sir +Seymour that he knew this, and that he had it in his power just then +to turn the scale, to make it drop to whichever side he wished. And as +Arabian hesitated at that moment so Sir Seymour hesitated too. He longed +to get away from the man, to have done with him forever. But he had put +his hand to a task. He had here an opportunity. Garstin had certainly +given it to him deliberately. It would be weak not to take advantage +of it. He was not accustomed to yield to his weak inclinations, and he +resolved not to do so now. He was sure that if he showed the least sign +of wishing to push himself into Arabian's affairs the man would recoil +at once, in spite of the drink which was slightly, but definitely, +clouding his perceptions. So he took the contrary course. He forced +himself to hold out his hand to the beast, and said: + +"Well--good-night!" + +But Arabian did not take his hand. + +"Oh, but please come in for a moment!" he said. "Why go away?" + +"It's getting late." + +"But I will not keep you long. Dick Garstin said you should judge +between us, that I was to come to-morrow and tell him. I know you will +say I have the right. Come up. I will explain to you." + +"Very well," said Sir Seymour, with apparent reluctance, "but really I +must not stay long." + +"No, no! You are very good. It is not your business. But really it is +important. Here! We will take the elevator." + +As he got into the lift Sir Seymour wondered whether he would have +tricked Arabian if the latter had not been drinking. While the lift was +going swiftly and smoothly up he decided that before he came down in it +he would make quite plain to Arabian why he had been to Dick Garstin's +studio that day. The opportunity which was given to him he would take +advantage of to the full. If only he could strike a blow for Adela +instead of for Miss Van Tuyn! But Adela had let this brute go. And could +she have done anything else? For she had had her own folly to be afraid +of. But all that was ten years ago. And now--She was different now! +He reiterated that to himself as he stood in the lift almost touching +Arabian. Adela was quite different now. She had given herself to the +best that was in her. + +"Here it is!" + +The lift had stopped. They got out on a landing, and Arabian put a key +into a door. + +"Do please take off your coat. It is all warm in here!" + +"Yes, and some brute's been burning scent in a shovel!" thought Sir +Seymour, as he stepped into the flat. + +"I think I'll keep my coat," he said. "I shan't be staying long." + +"Oh, if you are in such a hurry!" said Arabian, with sudden moody +irritation. + +He shut the door with a bang. In the electric light he looked tired and +menacing. At least Sir Seymour thought so. But the light in the little +hall was shaded and not very strong. + +"You will be much too hot truly!" said Arabian. + +"Then I'll leave my coat," said Sir Seymour. + +And he took it off, laid it on a chair and went into a room on the left, +the door of which Arabian held open. + +"This is my salon. I take the flat furnished. The river is there." + +He pointed towards the windows now covered by curtains. + +"Please sit down by the fire. I will explain. I know you will be on my +side." + +He pressed a bell on the right of the mantelpiece. + +Almost instantaneously the door was opened and a thin man--who looked +about thirty, Sir Seymour thought--showed himself. He had a very dark +narrow face and curiously light-grey eyes. Arabian spoke to him in +Spanish. He listened, motionless, turned and went softly out. + +"You must have a little whisky with me!" said Arabian. + +"No, thank you!" + +"But--why not?" + +"I never take it at this time." + +"Well, I must have some. I have got a cold. This climate in winter--it +is awful!" + +He shook his broad shoulders and blinked rapidly several times, then +suddenly opened his eyes very wide and yawned. + +"Well now!" he said. "But please sit down." + +Sir Seymour sat down. Arabian stood with his back to the fire and +his hands thrust into his trouser pockets. Sir Seymour noticed what +a magnificently made man he was. He had certainly been endowed with +physical gifts for the undoing of women. But his brown face, strikingly +handsome though it undoubtedly was, had the hard stamp of vice on it. +Long ago at a first glance Sir Seymour had seen that this man was a +wrong 'un, and now, as he looked at Arabian, he found himself wondering +how anyone could fail to see that. + +"Now I will tell you exactly," Arabian said. + +And he explained carefully and lucidly enough--though through occasional +yawns--what had happened between Garstin and himself. He did not mention +Miss Van Tuyn's name. As he was getting towards the end of his narrative +his servant came in with a tray on which were bottles and glasses. He +said nothing and Arabian said nothing to him, but went on talking and +did not appear to notice him. But directly he had gone Arabian poured +out some whisky, added a little soda and drank it. + +"There! That is how we did!" he said at last. + +And he dropped softly, with an odd lightness, into a chair near Sir +Seymour, and nodded: + +"Now, have I not the right over the picture? Can I not send to-morrow +and take it away? Is it not just?" + +"Just!" said Sir Seymour. "Do you care so much about justice?" + +"Eh?" said Arabian, suddenly leaning forward in his chair. "What is +that?" + +The bitter sarcasm which Sir Seymour had not been able to keep out of +his voice had evidently startled Arabian. + +"You are English," he said, as Sir Seymour said nothing. "Do you not +care that a stranger in your country should have justice?" + +"Oh, yes. I care very much about that." + +The intense dryness of the voice that answered evidently made an +impression on Arabian. For he fixed his eyes on his guest with intense +and hard inquiry, and laid his brown hands on the arms of his chair, as +if in readiness for something. But he only said: + +"Well--please?" + +Sir Seymour's inclination was to get up. But he did not obey it. He +sat without moving, and returned Arabian's stare with a firm, soldier's +gaze. The fearlessness of his eyes was absolute, unflinching. + +"I thoroughly understand why you don't want Mr. Garstin to show people +that picture," he said. + +"Ah!" + +"The biggest fool in creation, if he saw it, would understand." + +"Understand what--please?" + +"Understand you." + +"Pardon!" said Arabian sharply. "What do you mean?" + +He was up. But Sir Seymour sat still. + +"Mr. Garstin uncovered your secret," he said. "A man such as you are +naturally objects to that." + +"What have you come here for?" said Arabian. + +"You asked me to come." + +"What did you go to Dick Garstin for?" + +"That is my business." + +Sir Seymour got up slowly, very deliberately even, from his chair. + +"My secret, you say. What do you know about me?" + +In the voice there was intense suspicion. + +"We needn't discuss that. I am not going to discuss it." + +"What did you go to Dick Garstin for?" + +"I went to ask him if he would allow me to bring two or three people to +his studio to look at his portrait of you." + +"My portrait! What is my portrait to you? Why should you bring people?" + +But Sir Seymour did not answer the question. Instead he put one hand on +the mantelpiece, leaned slightly towards Arabian, and said: + +"You wanted my verdict on the rights of the case between you and Mr. +Garstin. That isn't my affair. You must fight it out between you. But I +should seriously advise you not to take too long over the quarrel. You +said just now that the English climate was awful. Get out of it as soon +as you can." + +"Get out of it! What is it to you whether I stay or go?" + +"I'm afraid if you delay here much longer you may be sorry for it." + +"Who are you?" said Arabian fiercely. + +"I'm a friend of Miss Van Tuyn." + +"What has that to do with me? Why do you try to interfere with me?" + +"Miss Van Tuyn--I saw her this morning--wishes me to see to it that you +leave her alone, get out of her life." + +"Are you her father, a relation?" + +"No." + +"Then what have you to do with it? You--you impertinent old man!" + +Sir Seymour's brick-red, weather-beaten face took on a darker, almost +a purplish, hue, and the hand that had been holding the mantelpiece +tightened into a fist. + +"You will leave this young lady alone," he said sternly. "Do you hear? +You will leave her alone. She knows what you are." + +Arabian had pushed out his full under-lip and was staring now intently +at Sir Seymour. His gaze was intense, and yet there was a cloudy look in +his eyes. The effect of what he had drunk was certainly increasing upon +him in the heat of the rather small room. + +"When I came into the studio," he said after a moment's silence, "I +remembered your face, and, 'Why is he here?' That was my thought. Why is +he there? Where did I see you?" + +"That doesn't matter. You will give up your acquaintance with Miss Van +Tuyn. You will get out of London. And then no measures will be taken +against you." + +"Where was it?" persisted Arabian. "Do you remember me?" + +"Yes," said Sir Seymour. + +He debated within himself for an instant, and then took a decision. + +"I saw you at the Ritz Hotel in Piccadilly ten years or more ago." + +"At the Ritz!" + +"I was lunching with a friend. I was lunching with Lady Sellingworth." + +"Ah!" exclaimed Arabian. "That was it! I remember. So--_she_ sent--I +see! I see!" + +He half shut his eyes and a vein in his forehead swelled, giving to his +brow a look of violence. + +"She has--She has--" + +He shut his mouth with a snap of the teeth. Sir Seymour was aware of a +struggle taking place in him. Something, urged on by drink, was fighting +hard with his natural caution. But the caution, long trained, no doubt, +and kept in almost perpetual use, was fighting hard too. + +"No one sent me," said Sir Seymour with contempt. "But that's no matter. +You understand now that you are to leave this young lady alone. Her +acquaintance with you has ceased. It won't be renewed. If you call on +her you will be sent off. If you write to her your letters will be burnt +without being read. If you try to persecute her in any way means will be +found to protect her and to punish you. I shall see to that." + +Arabian's mouth was still tightly shut and he was standing quite still +and seemed to be thinking, or trying to think, deeply. For his eyes now +had a curiously inward look. If Sir Seymour had expected a burst of rage +as the sequel to his very plain speaking he was deceived. Apparently +this man was serenely beyond that society in which a human being can be +insulted and resent it. Or else had he been thinking with such intensity +that he had not even heard what had just been said to him? For a moment +Sir Seymour was inclined to believe so. And he was about to reiterate +what he had said, to force it on Arabian's attention, when the latter +stopped him. + +"Yes--yes!" he said. "I hear! Do not!" + +He seemed to be turning something over in his mind with complete +self-possession under the eyes of the man who had just scornfully +attacked him. At last he said: + +"I fear I was rude just now. You startled me. I said it was +impertinence. But I see, I understand now. The women--they are clever. +And when age comes--ah, we have no longer much defence against them." + +And he smiled. + +"What d'you mean?" said Sir Seymour, longing to knock the fellow +down, and feeling an almost insuperable difficulty in retaining his +self-control. + +"This I mean! You say you come to me sent by Miss Van Tuyn. But I +say--no! You come to me sent by Lady Sellingworth." + +Sir Seymour was startled. Was the fellow so brazen that he was going to +allude to what had happened over ten years ago? That seemed incredible, +but with such a man perhaps everything was possible. + +"It is like this!" continued Arabian, in a suave and explanatory voice. +"Lady Sellingworth she hates Miss Van Tuyn. They have quarrelled about +a young man. His name is Craven. I have met him in a restaurant. I +dine there with Miss van Tuyn. He dines there that night with +Lady Sellingworth, who is in love with him, as old women are with +nice-looking boys, and--" + +"Hold your tongue, you infernal blackguard!" + +"Miss Van Tuyn calls Craven to us, and Lady Sellingworth is so jealous +that she runs out of the restaurant, so that he is obliged to follow her +and leave Miss Van Tuyn--" + +"You damned ruffian!" said Sir Seymour. + +His face was congested with anger. He put out his arm as if he were +going to seize Arabian by the collar of his jacket. For once in his +life he "saw red"; for once he was forced by indignation into saying +something he would never have said had he given himself time to think. +He was carried away by impulse like a youth in spite of his years, of +his white hair, of his immense natural self-control. + +Arabian moved backwards with a swift, wary movement. Sir Seymour did not +follow him. He stood where he was and said again: + +"You damned ruffian! If you don't get out of the country I'll set the +police on you." + +"Indeed! What for, please?" + +"For stealing Lady Sellingworth's jewels in Paris ten years ago!" + +Arabian bared his teeth like an animal and half shut his eyes. There was +a strange look about his temples, as if under the deep brown of his skin +something had gone suddenly white. + +"Miss Van Tuyn knows that you stole them!" + +Arabian drew in his breath sharply. His mouth opened wide. + +Sir Seymour turned and went out of the room. He shut the door behind +him. In the little scented hall he caught up his coat and hat. He heard +a door click. The dark man with the light grey eyes showed himself. + +"Keep away, you!" said Sir Seymour. + +The man stood where he was, and Sir Seymour went out of the flat. + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +When Sir Seymour was going out of the main hall of the building in which +Arabian lived a taxicab happened to drive up. A man got out of it and +paid the chauffeur. Sir Seymour made a sign to the chauffeur, who jerked +his head and said: + +"Yes, sir." + +"Drive me to Claridge's Hotel, please," said Sir Seymour. + +He got into the taxicab and was soon away in the night. When he reached +the hotel he went to the bureau and inquired if Miss Van Tuyn was at +home. The man at the bureau, who knew him well, said that she was in, +that she had not been out all day. He would inquire at once if she was +at home to visitors. As he spoke he looked at Sir Seymour with an air of +discreet interest. After a moment at the telephone he asked Sir Seymour +to go upstairs, and called a page-boy to accompany him and show him the +way. + +"Henriques," said Sir Seymour, pausing as he was about to follow the +page. "You're a discreet fellow, I know." + +"I hope so, Sir Seymour." + +"If by chance a man called Arabian should come here, while I am +upstairs, get rid of him, will you? I am speaking on Miss Van Tuyn's +behalf and with her authority." + +"I won't let the gentleman up, Sir Seymour." + +"Has he called to-day?" + +"Yes, Sir Seymour. He called early this afternoon. I had orders to say +Miss Van Tuyn and Miss Cronin were both out. He wrote a note downstairs +which was sent up." + +"He may call again at any time. Get rid of him." + +"Yes, Sir Seymour." + +"Thanks. I rely on your discretion." + +And Sir Seymour went towards the lift, where the page-boy was waiting. + +Miss Van Tuyn met him at the threshold of her sitting-room. She was very +pale. She greeted him eagerly. + +"How good of you to call again! Do come in. I haven't stirred. I haven't +been out all day." + +She shut the sitting-room door. + +"_He_ has been here!" + +"So I heard." + +"How? Who has--" + +"I ventured to speak to Henriques, the young man at the bureau, before +coming up. I know him quite well. I took it on myself to give an order +on your behalf." + +"That he wasn't to be allowed to come up?" + +"Yes. I told Henriques to get rid of him." + +"Oh, thank you! Thank you! I've been in misery all day thinking at every +moment that he might open my door and walk in." + +"They won't let him up." + +"But they mightn't happen to see him. If there were many people in the +hall he might pass by unnoticed and--" + +"In a hotel of this type people don't pass by unnoticed. You need not be +afraid." + +"But I am horribly afraid. I can't help it. And it's so dreadful not +daring to move. It's--it's like living in a nightmare!" + +"Come, Miss Van Tuyn!" said Sir Seymour, and in his voice and manner +there was just a hint of the old disciplinarian, "pull yourself +together. You're not helpless, and you've got friends." + +"Oh, do forgive me! I know I have. But there's something so absolutely +hideous in feeling like this about a man who--whom I--" + +She broke off, and sat down on a sofa abruptly, almost as if her limbs +had given way under her. + +"I quite understand that. I've just been with the fellow." + +Miss Van Tuyn started up. + +"You've seen him?" + +"Yes." + +"Where? Here?" + +"I went to Mr. Garstin's studio to have a look at the portrait and say a +word to him. While I was there Arabian called. I stayed on and sat with +him for some time. Afterwards I walked with him to the building where he +is living temporarily and went in." + +"Went in? _You_ went into his flat!" + +"As I say." + +Miss Van Tuyn looked at him without speaking. Her expression showed +intense astonishment, amounting almost to incredulity. + +"I had it out with him," said Sir Seymour grimly, after a pause. "And in +the heat of the moment I told him something which I had not intended to +tell him, which I had not meant to speak of at all." + +"What? What?" + +"I told him I knew about the theft of ten years ago." + +"Oh!" + +"And I told him also that you knew about it." + +"That I--oh! How did he take it? What did he say?" + +"I didn't wait to hear. The flat was--well--scented, and I wanted to get +out of it." + +His face expressed such a stern and acute disgust that Miss Van Tuyn's +eyes dropped beneath his. + +"You may think--it would be natural to think that the fact of my having +told the man about your knowledge of his crime would prevent him from +ever attempting to see you again," Sir Seymour continued, "but I don't +feel sure of that." + +"You think that even after that he might--" + +"I'll be frank with you. I can't tell what he might or might not do. He +may follow my suggestion--" + +"What did you--" + +"I suggested to him that he had better clear out of the country at once. +It's quite possible that he may take my view and go, but in case he +doesn't, and tries to bother you any more--" + +"He's been! He's written! He says he _will_ see me. He has guessed that +something has turned me against him." + +"He knows now what it is. Now I want you to write a note to him which +I will leave at the bureau in case he calls to-night or to-morrow +morning." + +"Yes." + +She went to the writing-table and sat down. + +"If you will allow me to suggest the wording." + +"Please--please do!" + +She took up a pen and dipped it in the ink. Then Sir Seymour dictated: + + +SIR,--Sir Seymour Portman has told me of his meeting with you to-day and +of what occurred at it. What he said to you about me is true. I _know_. +If you call you will not see me. I refuse absolutely to see you or to +have anything more to do with you, now or at any future time. + + +"And then your name at the end." + +Miss van Tuyn wrote with a hand that slightly trembled. "B. VAN TUYN." + +"If you will put that into an envelope and address it I will take it +down and leave it at the bureau." + +"Thank you." + +Miss Van Tuyn put the note into an envelope, closed the envelope and +addressed it. + +"That's right." + +Sir Seymour held out his hand and she gave him the note. + +"Now, good night." + +"You are going!" + +He smiled slightly. + +"I don't sleep at Claridge's as you and Miss Cronin do." + +"No, of course not. Thank you so very, very much! But I can never thank +you properly." + +She paused. Then she said with sudden bitterness: + +"And I used to pride myself on my independence!" + +"Ah--independence! A word!" said Sir Seymour. + +He turned away to go, but when he was near the door he stopped and +seemed hesitating. + +"What is it?" said Miss Van Tuyn anxiously. + +"Even men sometimes have instincts," he said, turning round. + +"Yes?" + +"May I use your telephone?" + +"Of course! But--do--you--" + +"Where--Oh, there it is!" + +He went to it and called up the bureau. Then he said: "Sir Seymour +Portman is speaking from Miss Van Tuyn's sitting-room . . . is that Mr. +Henriques? Please tell me, has that man, Arabian, of whom we spoke just +now, called again?" + +There was a silence in which Miss Van Tuyn, watching, saw a frown +wrinkle deeply Sir Seymour's forehead. + +"Ah! Has he gone? Did you get rid of him? . . . How long ago? . . . Only +two or three minutes! . . . Do you think he knows I am here? . . . Thank +you. I'll be down in a moment." + +He put the receiver back. + +"Oh, but don't leave me!" said Miss Van Tuyn distractedly. "You see, in +spite of what you told him he _has_ come!" + +"Yes. He has been. He's a determined fellow." + +"He'll never give it up! What can I do?" + +"All you can do at present is to remain quietly up here in your +comfortable rooms. Leave the rest to me." + +"But if he gets in?" + +"He won't. Even if he came upstairs--and he won't be allowed to--he has +no key of your outer door. Now I'll go down and leave this note at the +bureau. If he comes back and receives it, that will probably decide him +to give the thing up. He is counting on the weakness of your will. This +note will show him you have made up your mind. By the way"--he fixed his +dark eyes on her--"you _have_ made up your mind?" + +She blushed up to her hair. + +"Oh, yes--yes!" + +"Very well. To-morrow I shall go to Scotland Yard. We'll get him out of +the country one way or another." + +She accompanied him to the outer door of the apartment. When he had +gone out she shut it behind him, and he heard the click of a bolt being +pushed home. + +Before leaving the hotel Sir Seymour again sought his discreet friend +Henriques, to whom he gave Miss Van Tuyn's note. + +"So the fellow has been?" he said. + +"Yes, Sir Seymour." + +"Did you get rid of him easily?" + +"Well, to tell the truth, Sir Seymour, he tried to be obstinate. I +think--if you'll excuse me--I certainly think that he was slightly under +the influence of drink. Not drunk, you'll understand, not at all as much +as that! But still--" + +"Yes--yes. If he comes back give him that note. And--do you think it +would be wise to give him a hint that any further annoyance might lead +to the intervention of the police? The young lady is very much upset +and frightened. Do you think you might drop a word or two--at your +discretion?" + +"I'll manage it, Sir Seymour. Leave it to me!" + +"Very good of you, Henriques. Good night." + +"Good night, Sir Seymour. Always very glad to do anything for you." + +"Thank you." + +As Sir Seymour stepped out into Brook Street he glanced swiftly up and +down the thoroughfare. But he did not see the man he was looking for. He +stood still for a moment. There was hesitation in his mind. The natural +thing, he felt, would be to go at once to Berkeley Square and to have +a talk with Adela. It was late. He was beginning to feel hungry. Adela +would give him some dinner. But--could he go to Adela just now? No; he +could not. And he hailed a cab and drove home. Something the beast +had said had made a horrible impression upon the faithful lover, an +impression which remained with him, which seemed to be eating its way, +like a powerful acid, into his very soul, corroding, destroying. + +Adela--young Craven! + +Was it possible? Was there then never to be an end to that mania, which +had been Adela's curse, and the tragedy of the man who had loved her +with the long love which is so rare among men? + +There was bitterness in Sir Seymour's heart that night, and that +bitterness sent him home, to the home that was no real home, to the +solitude that _she_ had given him. + + + +CHAPTER XV + +On the following morning, true to his word, Sir Seymour visited Scotland +Yard, and had a talk with a certain authority there who was a very old +friend of his. The authority asked a few questions, but no questions +that were indiscreet, or that Sir Seymour was unable to answer +without betraying Lady Sellingworth's confidence. The sequel to this +conversation was that a tall, thin, lemon-coloured man, with tight lips +and small, dull-looking eyes, which saw much more than most bright eyes +ever see, accompanied Sir Seymour in a cab to Glebe Place. They arrived +there about half-past eleven. Sir Seymour rang the bell, and in a moment +Dick Garstin opened the door. + +"What's the matter?" was Sir Seymour's unconventional greeting to him. + +For the painter's face was flushed in patches and his small eyes glowed +fiercely. + +"Who's this?" he said, looking at Sir Seymour's companion. + +"Detective Inspector Horridge--Mr. Dick Garstin," said Sir Seymour. + +"Oh, come to see the picture! Well, you're too late!" said Garstin in a +harsh voice. + +"Too late!" + +"Yes, a damned sight too late! But come up!" + +They went in, and Garstin, without any more words, took them up to the +studio. + +"There you are!" he said, still in the harsh and unnatural voice. + +He flung out his arm towards the easel which stood in the middle of the +room. Sir Seymour and the inspector went up to it. Part of the canvas on +which Arabian's portrait had been painted was still there. But the head +and face had been cleanly cut away. Only the torso remained. + +"When was this done?" asked Sir Seymour. + +"Some time last night, I suppose." + +"But--" + +"I didn't sleep here. I often don't, more often than not. But last night +I was a fool to be away. Well, I've paid for my folly!" + +"But how--" + +"God knows! The fellow got in. It doesn't much matter how. A false key, +I suppose." + +"Does anyone know?" + +"Not a soul, except us." + +Sir Seymour was silent. He had realized at once that Miss Van Tuyn was +safe now, safe, too, from further scandal, unless Garstin chose to make +trouble. He looked at the painter, and from him to the inspector. + +"What are you going to do?" he said to Dick Garstin. + +"I don't know!" said Garstin. + +And he flung himself down on the old sofa by the wall. + +"I don't know!" + +For a moment he put his hands up to his temples and stared on the +ground. As he sat there thus he looked like a man who had just been +thrashed. After a moment Sir Seymour went over to him and laid a hand on +his shoulder. + +Garstin looked up. + +"What's that for?" + +He stared into Sir Seymour's face for an instant. Perhaps he read +something there. For he seemed to pull himself together, and got up. + +"Well, inspector," he said, "you've had your visit for nothing. It +wasn't a bad picture, either. I should like you to have had a squint at +it. But--perhaps I'll do better yet. Who knows? Perhaps I've stuck to +those Cafe Royal types too long. Eh, Sir Seymour? Perhaps I'd better +make a start in a new line. Have a whisky?" + +"Thank you. But it's rather too early," said the lemon-coloured man. "Do +you wish--" + +"No, I don't!" said Garstin. "We'll leave it at that?" + +Again he flung out his arm towards the mutilated canvas. + +"I made a bargain with the fellow whose portrait that was. I was to +paint it and exhibit it, and then he was to have it. Well, I suppose +we're about quits. I can't exhibit it, but I'm damned if he can make +much money out of it. We're quits!" + +Sir Seymour turned to the inspector. + +"Well, inspector, I'm very sorry to have given you this trouble for +nothing," he said. "I know you're a busy man. You take the cab back to +Scotland Yard. Here--you must allow me to pay the shot. I'll stay on for +a few minutes. And"--he glanced towards Garstin--"by the way, we may +as well keep this matter between us, if Mr. Garstin is good enough to +agree." + +"I agree! I agree!" said Garstin. + +"The fact is there's a woman in it, quite a girl. We don't want a +scandal. It would distress her. And I suppose this is really--this +outrage--I suppose it is purely a matter for Mr. Garstin to decide +whether he wishes any sequel to it or not." + +"Oh, certainly," said the inspector. "If Mr. Garstin doesn't wish any +action to be taken--" + +"I don't! That's flat!" + +"Very well," said the inspector. "Good morning." + +"Back in a moment," said Garstin to Sir Seymour. And he went downstairs +to let the inspector out. + +"So that's how it ends!" said Sir Seymour to himself when he was alone. +"That's how it ends!" + +And he went over to what had been Arabian's portrait, and gazed at +the hole which surmounted the magnificent torso. He had no doubt that +Arabian had gone out of Miss Van Tuyn's life for ever. Probably, almost +certainly, he had returned to the hotel on the previous evening, had +been given the note Miss Van Tuyn had written to dictation, and also +a hint from that very discreet and capable fellow, Henriques, of what +might happen if he persisted in trying to force himself upon her. And +then he had come to the decision which had led to the outrage in the +studio. Where was he now? No longer in Rose Tree Gardens if Sir Seymour +knew anything of men. + +"The morning boat to Paris, and--the underworld!" Sir Seymour muttered +to himself. + +"Not much to look at now, is it?" said Garstin's voice behind him. + +He turned round quickly. + +Garstin was gazing at his ruined masterpiece with a curious twisted +smile. + +"What can one say?" said Sir Seymour. "When Horridge was here I thought: +'When he's gone I'll tell Mr. Garstin!' And now he is gone, and--and--" + +He went up to Garstin and held out his hand. + +"I know I don't understand what you feel about this. No one could but a +fellow-painter as big as you are. But I wish I could make you understand +what I feel about something else." + +"And what's that?" said Garstin, as he took Sir Seymour's hand, almost +doubtfully. + +"About the way you've taken it, and your letting the blackguard off." + +"Oh, as to that, I bet you he'll be in Paris by five to-day." + +"Just what I think. But still--" + +He pressed Garstin's hand, and Garstin returned the pressure. + +"Beryl wanted me to paint him, but I painted him to please myself. I'm a +selfish brute, like most painters, I suppose." + +"But you're letting him go because of Miss Van Tuyn." + +"Damn it, I believe I am. I say, are you ever coming here again?" + +"If I may." + +"I wish you would." + +He gazed at Sir Seymour's strong head. + +"I've spent half my life in showing people up on canvas," he said. "I +should like to try something else." + +"And what's that?" + +"I should like to try to reveal the underneath fine instead of the +underneath filth. It'd be a new experiment for me." + +He laughed. + +"Perhaps I should make a failure of it. But--if you'd allow me--I would +try to make a start with you." + +"I can only say I shall be honoured," said Sir Seymour, with a touch of +almost shamefaced modesty which he endeavoured to hide with a very grave +courtliness. "Please let me know, if you don't change your mind. I'm a +good bit battered, but such as I am I am always at your service--out of +work hours." + +His last words to Garstin at the street door were: + +"You've taught an old soldier how to take a hard knock." + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +Sir Seymour usually called on Lady Sellingworth about five o'clock +in the afternoon when he was not detained by work or inevitable +engagements. On the day of his visit to Garstin's studio with the +inspector he felt that he owed it to Adela to go to Berkeley Square and +to tell her what had happened in connexion with Arabian since he had +last seen her. She must be anxious for news. It was not likely that she +had seen Miss Van Tuyn, that beautiful prisoner in Claridge's hotel. +Miss Van Tuyn might have telephoned to her and told her of his visits to +the hotel. But Adela would certainly expect to see him, would certainly +be waiting for him. He ought to go to her. Since the morning he had +been very busy. He had not had time to call again on Miss Van Tuyn, who +could, therefore--so at least he believed--know nothing of the outrage +in the studio. That piece of news which would surely be welcome to her +if she understood what it implied, should rightly come to her from the +woman who had been unselfish for her sake. Adela ought to tell her that. +But first it was his duty to tell Adela. He must go to Berkeley Square. + +And he decided to go and set out on foot. But as he walked he was +conscious of a strange and hideous reluctance to pay the customary +visit--the visit which had been the bright spot in his day for so long. +He had interfered with the design of Arabian. But Arabian unconsciously +had stabbed him to the heart with a sentence, meant to be malicious, +about Adela, but surely not intended to pierce him. + +Young Craven! Young Craven! + +When he reached the familiar door and was standing before it he +hesitated to press the bell. He feared that he would not be perfectly +natural with Adela. He feared that he would be constrained, that he +would be unable not to seem cold and rigid. Almost he was tempted to +turn away. He could write his news to her. Perhaps even now young Craven +was in the house with her. Perhaps he, the old man, would be unwanted, +would only be in the way if he went in. But it was not his habit to +recoil from anything and, after a moment of uneasy waiting, he put his +hand to the bell. + +Murgatroyd opened the door. + +"Good day, Murgatroyd. Is her Ladyship at home?" + +"Yes, Sir Seymour." + +He stepped into the hall, left his hat, coat and stick, and prepared to +go upstairs. + +"Anyone with her Ladyship?" + +"No, Sir Seymour. Her Ladyship is alone." + +A moment later Murgatroyd opened the drawing-room door and made the +familiar announcement: + +"Sir Seymour Portman!" + +Adela was as usual on the sofa by the tea-table, near to the fireplace +in which ship logs were blazing. She got up to greet him, and looked at +him eagerly, almost anxiously. + +"I was hoping you would come. Has anything happened?" + +"Yes, a great deal," he said, as he took her hand. + +"Why do you look at me like that?" she asked. + +"But--do I look at you differently from--" + +"Yes," she interrupted him. + +He lowered his eyes, feeling almost guilty. + +"But in what way?" + +"As if you wanted to know something, as if--have you changed towards +me?" + +"My dear Adela! What a question from you after all these years!" + +"You might change." + +"Nonsense, my dear." + +"No, no, it is not! Anyone may change. We are all incalculable." + +"Give me some tea now. And let me tell you my news." + +She sat down again, but her luminous eyes were still fixed on him, and +there was an almost terrified expression in them. + +"You haven't seen--him?" she asked. + +"Yes." + +"You have! I felt it! He has said something about me, something +horrible!" + +"Adela, do you really think I would take an opinion of you from a +blackguard like that?" + +"Please tell me everything," she said. + +She looked painfully agitated, and something in her agitation made him +feel very tender, for it gave her in his eyes a strange semblance of +youthfulness. Yes, despite all she had done, all the years she had lived +through, there was something youthful in her still. Perhaps it was that +which persistently held out hands to youth! The thought struck him and +the tenderness was lessened in his eyes. + +"Seymour, you are hiding something from me," she said. + +"Adela, give me a little time! I am going to tell you my news." + +"Yes, yes, please do!" + +"I want my tea," he said, with a smile. + +"Oh, I beg your pardon!" + +"How young you are!" he said. + +"Young! How can you say such a thing?" + +"Now really, Adela! As if I could ever be sarcastic with you!" + +"That remark could only be sarcastic." + +He sipped his tea. + +"No; you will always have youth in you. It is undying. It makes half +your charm, my dear. And perhaps--" + +"Yes?" + +"Well, perhaps it has caused most of the trouble in your life." + +She looked down. + +"Our best gifts have their--what shall I say--their shady side, I +suppose. And we seem to have to pay very often for what are thought of +as gifts. But now I must tell you." + +"Yes." + +And then he began to relate to her, swiftly although he was old, the +events of his mission. She listened, and while she listened she sat very +still. She had looked up. Her eyes were fixed upon him. Presently +he reached the point in his narrative where Arabian walked into Dick +Garstin's studio. Then she moved. She seemed suddenly seized with an +uncontrollable restlessness. He went on without looking at her, but he +heard her movements, the rustle of her gown, the touch of her hand on a +sofa cushion, on the tea-table, the chink of moved china, touching other +china. And two or three times he heard the faint sound of her breathing. +He knew she was suffering intensely, and he believed it was because of +the haunting, inexorable remembrance of the enticement that abominable +fellow, Arabian, had had for her. But he had to go on. And he went on +till he came to the scene in the flat at Rose Tree Gardens. + +"You--you went to his room!" she then said, interrupting him. + +"Yes." + +He heard her sigh. But she said nothing more. He told what had happened +in the flat, but not fully. He said nothing of Arabian's mention of her +name, but he did tell her that he himself had spoken of her, had said +that he was a friend of hers. And finally he told her how, carried away +by indignation, he had spoken of his and Miss Van Tuyn's knowledge that +Arabian had stolen her jewels. + +"I didn't mean to tell him that," he added. "But--well, it came out. +I--I hope you forgive me?" + +He did not wait for her answer, but told her of his abrupt departure +from the flat, and of his subsequent visit to Miss Van Tuyn, of what he +had learnt at the hotel, and of what he had done there. + +"The police!" she said, as if startled. "But if--if there should be a +scandal! Oh, Seymour, that would be too horrible! I couldn't bear that! +He might--it might come out! And my name--" + +She got up from the sofa. Her face looked drawn with an anxiety that was +like agony. He got up too. + +"It was only a threat. But in any case it will be all right, Adela." + +"But we don't know what he may do!" she said, with desperation. + +"Wait till you know what he has done." + +"What has he done?" + +And then he told her of the outrage in the studio. When he was silent +she made a slight swaying movement and took hold of the mantelpiece. +He saw by her face that she had grasped at once what Arabian's action +implied. + +Flight! + +"You see--he's done with. We've done with the fellow!" he said at last +as she did not speak. + +"Yes." + +Her face, when not interfered with, was always pale. But now it looked +horribly, unnaturally white. Relief, he believed, had shaken her in the +very soul. + +"Adela, did you think your good deed was going to recoil on you?" he +said. "Did you really think it was going to bring punishment on you? I +don't believe things go like that even in this distracted, inexplicable +old world." + +"Don't they? Mightn't they?" + +"Surely not. You have saved that girl. You have paid back that +scoundrel. And you have nothing to fear." + +"Why did you look at me like that when you came into the room?" + +"But you are--" + +"No. You haven't told me something. Tell me!" + +"Be happy in the good result of your self-sacrifice, Adela." + +"I want you to tell me. There is something. I know there is." + +"Yes. But it only concerns me." + +"Seymour, I don't believe that!" + +He was silent, looking at her with the old dog's eyes. But now there was +something else in them besides faithfulness. + +"Well, Adela," he said at last, "I believe very much in absolute +sincerity between real friends. But I suppose friendship must be very +real indeed to stand absolute sincerity. Don't you think so?" + +"Yes, I do. But our friendship is as real as any friendship can be, I +think." + +"Yes, but on my side it is mixed up, it has always been mixed up, with +something else." + +"Yes, I know," she said in a low voice. + +"And besides I'm afraid, if I speak quite frankly, I shall hurt you, my +dear!" + +"Then--hurt me, Seymour!" + +"Shall I? Can I do that?" + +"Be frank with me. I have been very frank with you. I have told _you_." + +"Yes, indeed. You have been nobly, gloriously frank. Well, then--that +horrible fellow did say something which I haven't told you, something +that, I confess it, has upset me." + +"What was it?" she said, still in the low voice, and bending her small +head a little like one expecting punishment. + +"He alluded to a friend of yours. He mentioned that nice boy I met here, +young Craven?" + +"Yes?" + +"I really can't get what he said over my lips, Adela." + +"I know what he said. You needn't tell me." + +The were both silent for a minute. Then she came close to him. + +"Seymour, perhaps you want to ask me a question about Mr. Craven. +But--don't! You needn't. I have done, absolutely done, with all that +side of my life which you hate. A part of my nature has persecuted me. +It has often led me into follies and worse, as you know. But I have +done with it. Indeed, indeed I can answer for myself. I wouldn't dare to +speak like this to you, the soul of sincerity, if I couldn't. But I'll +prove it to you. Seymour, you know what I am. I dare say you have always +known. But the other night I told you myself." + +"Yes." + +"If I hadn't I shouldn't dare now to ask you what I am going to ask you. +Is it possible that you still love me enough to care to be more than the +friend you have always been to me?" + +"Do you mean--" + +He paused. + +"Yes," she said. + +"I ask nothing more of life than that, Adela." + +"Nor do I, dear Seymour." + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +That evening Miss Van Tuyn learnt through the telephone from Lady +Sellingworth what had happened in Dick Garstin's studio during the +previous night. On the following morning at breakfast time she learnt +from Sir Seymour that the flat in Rose Tree Gardens had been abruptly +deserted by its tenant, who had left very early the day before. + +She was free from persecution, and, of course, she realized her freedom; +but, so strange are human impulses, she was at first unable to be happy +in her knowledge that the burden of fear had been lifted from her. +The misfortune which had fallen on Dick Garstin obsessed her mind. Her +egoism was drowned in her passionate anger at what Arabian had done. She +went early to the studio and found Garstin there alone. + +"Hulloh, Beryl, my girl!" he said, in his usual offhand manner. "Come +round to see the remains?" + +"Oh, Dick!" she exclaimed, grasping his hand. "Oh, I'm so grieved, so +horrified! What an awful thing to happen to you! And it's all my fault! +Where--what have you done with--" + +"What's left do you mean? Go and see for yourself." + +She hurried upstairs to the studio. When he followed he found her +standing before the mutilated picture, which was still in its place, +with tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. + +"Good God! Beryl! What's up? What are you whimpering about?" + +"How you must hate me!" she said, in a broken voice. "How you must hate +me!" + +"Rubbish! What for?" + +"This has all happened because of me. If it hadn't been for me you would +never have painted him." + +"I painted the fellow to please myself." + +"But I asked you to get him to come here." + +"What you ask, or don't ask, doesn't bother me." + +She gazed at him through her tears as if in surprise. + +"Dick, I never thought you could be like this," she said. + +"Like what? What's all the fuss about?" he exclaimed irritably. + +"I always thought you were really a brute." + +"That showed your sound judgment." + +"How can you take it like this? Your masterpiece--ruined! For you'll +never do anything like it again." + +"That's probably gospel truth. My girl, you are standing in front of my +epitaph on the Cafe Royal. There it is. Look well at it! I've buried +my past, and I'm going to start again. And who do you think is to be my +next victim?" + +"Who?" + +"You'll never guess--a gentleman!" + +"A gentleman? What do you mean, Dick? The word has gone out." + +"But not the thing, thank God, so long as Sir Seymour Portman keeps +about on his dear old pins." + +"You are going to paint Sir Seymour?" + +"I am! Think I can do him?" + +She looked at him for a moment, and her violet eyes searched him as if +to see whether he were worthy. Then she said soberly: + +"Yes, Dick." + +"Then let's turn the damned epitaph with its hole to the wall!" + +And he lifted what remained of Arabian's portrait from the easel and +threw it into a dark corner of the studio. + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +One evening, some ten days later, before any rumour of Lady +Sellingworth's new decision had gone about in the world of London, +before even Braybrooke knew, on coming home from the Foreign Office +Craven found a note lying on the table in the tiny hall of his flat. He +picked it up and saw Miss Van Tuyn's handwriting. He had not seen either +her or Lady Sellingworth since the evening when they had met in the +_Bella Napoli_. Both women had come into his life together. And it +seemed to him that both had gone out of it together. His acquaintance, +or friendship, with them had been a short episode in his pilgrimage, and +apparently the episode was definitely over. + +But now--here was a letter from the beautiful girl! He took it up, +carried it into his sitting-room, and tore open the envelope. + + +"CLARIDGE'S. + +"Thursday. + +"MY DEAR MR. CRAVEN,--I am going back to Paris almost directly and +should very much like to see you if possible to say good-bye. Have you a +few minutes to spare any time? If so, do come round to the hotel and let +us have a last little talk.--Yours sincerely, + +"BERYL VAN TUYN." + + +When he had read this brief note Craven was struck, as he had been +struck when he had read Lady Sellingworth's letter to him, by a certain +finality in the wording. Good-bye--a last little talk! Miss Van Tuyn +might have put "au revoir," might have omitted the word "last." + +He looked at the clock. It was not very late--only half-past five. He +decided to go at once to the hotel. And he went. Miss Van Tuyn was at +home. He went up in the lift and was shown into her sitting-room. He +waited there for a few minutes. Then the door opened and she came in +smiling. + +"How good of you to come so soon! I hardly expected you." + +"But--why not?" he said, as he took her hand. + +She glanced at him inquiringly, he thought, then said: + +"Oh, I don't know! You're a busy man, and have lots of engagements. Let +us sit by the fire." + +"Yes." + +They sat down, and there was a moment of silence. For once Miss Van Tuyn +seemed slightly embarrassed--not quite at her ease. Craven did not help +her. He still remembered the encounter in Glebe Place with a feeling of +anger. He still felt that he moved in a certain darkness, that both Lady +Sellingworth and Miss Van Tuyn had been unkind to him, had treated him +if not badly, at any rate in a way that was unfriendly, and, to him, +inexplicable. He did not want to seem hurt, but, on the other hand, +he did not feel that it was incumbent upon him to rush forward with +gracious eagerness, or to show any keen desire for the old, intimate +relations. So he just sat there trying not to look stiff, but not making +any effort to look charming and sympathetic. + +"Have you seen Adela lately?" Miss Van Tuyn said at last, breaking the +silence. + +"No," he said. "Not since the night when we met in the _Bella Napoli_." + +"Oh, that's too bad!" + +"Why too bad?" + +"I thought you were such friends!" + +"Scarcely that, I think," replied Craven, in his most definitely English +manner. "I like Lady Sellingworth very much, but she has swarms of +friends, and I can't expect her to bother very much about me." + +"But I don't think she has swarms of friends." + +"Perhaps nobody does. Still, she knows a tremendous number of people." + +"I am sure she likes you," said Miss Van Tuyn. "Do go and see her +sometimes. I think--I think she would appreciate it." + +"No doubt I shall see her again. Why not?" + +"Don't you like her anymore?" + +"Of course I do." + +Suddenly she leaned forward, almost impulsively, and said: + +"You remember I had a sort of cult for Adela?" + +"Did you?" + +"But you know I had! Well, I only want to tell you that it isn't a cult +now. I have got to know Adela better, to know her really. I used to +admire her as a great lady. Now I love her as a splendid woman. She's +rare. That is the word for her. Once--not long ago--I was talking to a +man who knows what people are. And he summed Adela up in a phrase. He +said she was a thoroughbred. We young ones--modern, I suppose we are--we +can learn something from her. I have learnt something. Isn't that an +admission? For the young generation to acknowledge that it has something +to learn from--from what are sometimes called the 'has beens'!" + +Craven looked at her and noticed with surprise that her violet eyes were +clouded for a moment, as if some moisture had found its way into +them. Perhaps she saw that look of his. For she laughed, changed the +conversation, and from that moment talked in her usual lively way +about less intimate topics. But when Craven presently got up to go she +returned for a moment to her former more serious mood. As he took her +hand to say good-bye she said: + +"Perhaps we shall meet again--perhaps not. I don't know when I shall +be back in London. I'm soon going over to America with Fanny. But don't +think too badly of me." + +"I? How could I think badly of you?" + +"Oh, yes--you might! There are things I can't explain which may easily +have given you a nasty impression of me. If I could explain them perhaps +you would remember me more pleasantly. Anyhow, I shall always think of +you as one of my _friends_. Good-bye." + +And then she moved away, and he went to the door. + +But just as he was going he turned round and said: + +"Au revoir!" + +She made a little kind gesture with her left hand, but she said nothing. + +At that moment she was thinking of Adela. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of December Love, by Robert Hichens + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DECEMBER LOVE *** + +***** This file should be named 6616.txt or 6616.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/6/6/1/6616/ + +Produced by Dagny; John Bickers; David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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