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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f705100 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #65199 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65199) diff --git a/old/65199-0.txt b/old/65199-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 45e60ca..0000000 --- a/old/65199-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,913 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Fall of Archy House, by Tom W. Harris - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The Fall of Archy House - -Author: Tom W. Harris - -Release Date: April 30, 2021 [eBook #65199] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FALL OF ARCHY HOUSE *** - - - - - THE FALL OF ARCHY HOUSE - - By Tom W. Harris - - Television is a swell way of projecting - ideas to an audience. But Archy created chaos - when he used it to project real live monsters! - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy - December 1957 - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -For over two weeks, the projections were a national emergency, and the -nation got pretty sore at Archy House. - -Archy was on camera when it happened. He always closed the Home Hour in -person, partly because nobody else did it quite as well, partly because -it flattered the audience to see him. - -His delivery was almost shaken, the night the thing happened, by the -appearance of Otto Kahler, chief engineer, just out of camera-range, -his hair in his eyes and a wildness about his mouth. - -Arch closed his patter smoothly, set a smile through fadeout, and -turned to Kahler. - -"What's up, Otto? You look like a ghost that saw a ghost." He let -annoyance enter his voice. He was surrounded by the best men money -could buy, and sometimes they ran around like children. - -"The scrambler blew," said Otto. "Somebody spilled a pail of water on -it." - -In an office a phone began ringing. "Mr. House," somebody shouted, -"it's the White House calling." - -Archy gave Otto a shove. "Dammit, man, switch on the auxiliary. Do I -have to tell you?" Otto just stood there as Archy turned and yelled -into the confusion off the set, "Tell Washington I'll be right with -'em." - -His eye swept the studio. "Where's June Manning?" - -Even in this tight moment, his breath gave the familiar balloon-lurch -as Full-Projection Studio's top writer glided from the directors' -studio in her blue sheathe gown. Her wheat-blonde hair was dressed in -the latest style, a yard-long, loose-braided hank slung richly over her -shoulder; and her face was part cherubic, part perverse. - -Another phone began ringing. - -"June, I want a 30-second yak to give the viewers. You have 90 seconds -to get it on idiot cards; I'm going on with it right after the station -break. The scramblers failed. Gimme something soothing to say. Got it?" - -She nodded and marched off. Otto cleared his throat. Archy spun. "What -are you waiting for? Get switched to auxiliary! We've got projections -prancing around living rooms in every suburb in the country." - -Another phone was ringing. "General Cox for Mr. House," somebody -yelled. "Calling from Hawaii." - -Archy wished these jackasses would all drop dead. He shook Otto. - -"I tried the auxiliary," said Otto. "It's out." - -"Holy volts," said Archy. - -For the first time in his life he felt desperate. A cool head and a -habit of never being wrong had got him where he was--founder and top -banana of Full-Projection, sole owner of three TV networks using the -revolutionary 3-D devices perfected by Otto Kahler and patented by -Archy. In the present emergency, he tried to keep his head still cool -and continue to never be wrong. - -A stagehand was running a phone out onto the set. Waiting, Archy -snapped instructions at Otto--put half the staff to trying to get -the scramblers operating, set the other half to slapping together an -emergency machine. Otto dashed off and the phone was slapped into -Archy's hand. - -"Yes, Ben," he said assuringly to the President of the United States. -"What can I do for you?" - -"You can get those projections out of my living room," snapped -the president. "They're still doing their acts from the circus -show--jugglers, acrobats, an animated cartoon. What happened?" - -"Don't worry, Pops. An experimental commercial goofed. Stay tuned; -we'll have the scramblers on in ten minutes." - -"You'd better," crackled President Conklin. "I have guests--this could -be an international incident. And don't call me Pops." - -"Sit tight. And now excuse me, Ben, I'm going on the air. Just keep the -projections near the set, within scrambler range." - -He was on. They used the conventional flatscreen cameras, and June's -script was as smooth as if she'd worked all day on it ... as smooth as -her satiny shoulders and not-quite-uncovered bust. It explained that -due to uncontrollable circumstances scrambler-power was temporarily off. - -"Our advice is, stay calm," Archy read smoothly. "The projections are -not real people. They are harmless. They are merely images of people, -just as in old-fashioned flat TV, except that they are projected into -your home in full dimensions. Even with no scrambler to dissipate the -electro-magnetic configuration of which they are composed, they will -not last long. - -"They are held together, energized, by the energy beamed from our -studios through your set. Without that power they will vanish, probably -within a few minutes." - -Reassured by what he had just read, Archy took more phone calls. - -The general in Hawaii told him the barracks were full of Pixie Owens -projections, Bikini-clad, and military discipline was shattered. - -The mayor of New York reported that Central Park was teeming with Wild -West Theater projections, and armadillos in the streets had jammed all -traffic. - - * * * * * - -President Conklin made a furious repeat call. The Russian consulate -had sent a stiff note protesting the "degenerate practical joke" -perpetrated on a Soviet diplomat attending Conklin's soiree. - -The skipper of a battleship said his men proposed tossing all -projections overboard, and he wanted to know if this would constitute -murder. - -Archy said it wouldn't, instructed his staff to take no more calls, and -went to find Otto. June went with him. - -June was a person with a knack for making you think of something else -no matter what crisis you were embroiled in. In the elevator, Archy -slipped an arm around her. "I've got an idea," he whispered. - -"I'll scream," she warned, "and this shaft is like a megaphone." - -"That's not the idea--anyway, an elevator is too cramped. My idea is; -let's get married when this is over." - -"Hmmm." She twisted back provocatively. "I've got another idea--give me -a raise and I might think about it." - -"That's what you said the last three times, and now you're drawing a -thousand a week." - -"And worth every buck of it." - -"True, true. If I didn't pay you what you're worth, professionally, -some other outfit would steal you." - -"You think I'd pull out just for a raise?" - -"You'd be nuts if you didn't. Look, June--if you married me, a thousand -a week would be nothing--peanuts." - -She laughed, throaty but tinkling, a brook flowing through chimes. "And -you wonder why I won't marry you. My friend, I won't marry you until -you figure out _why_ I won't." - -The elevator stopped before he could ask for explanations. They found -Otto among his machines, seated at a table. There were sheets of paper -on it. There was also a small, furry body. - -"Okay, Otto--when do we get a scrambler on? I've got the great American -public snowed, but I can't hold 'em forever." - -"We just found the trouble," said Otto, brushing the hair off his -forehead. "It's crazy." He picked up the furred object. "A mouse got -into the auxiliary and shorted it." - -"Number one," said Archy. "Tomorrow I fire the maintenance staff. -Mice--in my studio! Number two--how soon can you have a scrambler -going?" - -"Fifteen minutes," said Otto proudly. - -"Make it ten. Buzz me in the studio. We'll cut right into the program." - -Back in the elevator, Archy crowed. "That's it, Baby--Archy House in -action, everything taken care of." - -"No credit for Otto?" - -"You kidding. Otto's smart enough to work for me, but I'm smart enough -to hire him. So who's smartest?" He juggled the mouse in his hand, -reflectively. "Without me, Otto'd be nowhere. Somebody else'd have his -idea. The smart guys are the promoters, chick. Why not marry one?" - -She snorted wordlessly. He tossed the mouse in his palm and suddenly -swore. - -"I hurt your feelings, promoter?" - -"Look at this mouse!" - -She eyed him quizzically. - -"This mouse never crawled into any scrambler," said Archy. "It was -stuck in there, dead, and I've been sabotaged. It has a broken neck." - -The elevator stopped, the door slid back, and Archy's mind left the -mouse. It was as though a mirror had popped up before him. He was -staring at a nattily-dressed, cocky replica of himself. - -"Don't worry, about anything, Mac," said the projection. "I'll have -things tight in a jiffy." - -"My God," said June. "The monitor sets were on. Projections must be -all over the studio." - -"Hi, chick," said the projection. "Come on up to the office; there's -some things to talk about." - -Archy swung. The blow slipped harmlessly through the projection's jaw. - -"You're passe," said the projection. "Outmoded. Here, play with Andy. -Come on, June." - -Archy cannoned a kick at the cartoon armadillo. His foot passed -through, trailing a filmy tatter which snapped back into Andy's body. - -"Eat Teeny-Crunchy Peanut Butter, kids," sang Andy Armadillo. - -Eight minutes later Otto rang the buzzer. June had the projections -doing a show in an office; when the scrambler kicked on they vanished. -But an hour after that the White House called Archy. - -"You only nailed about ten percent of those characters of yours," -shouted President Conklin. "The rest had wandered out of range--I mean -the ones all over the country. What are you going to do about it?" - -"Don't worry, pops. All under control ... my best people are working on -it." - -"Under control? With seven Pixie Owenses strip-teasing on the White -House lawn? You get down here, House, and bring your staff." - -Conklin's receiver slammed before Archy could answer. He slowly rubbed -his ear. "This is getting bad." - - * * * * * - -A week later things were still bad. Archy, June and Otto were still in -Washington, and the President had called another conference. Of all -the projections, the one of himself distressed Archy the most. They -were insufferably arrogant. One had tried to pilot the plane that took -him to the capital. Dozens had congregated at Full-Projection Studios, -issuing orders to the staff. Twice, one had talked his way into a -Presidential conference. "The only way you can tell they aren't real," -said a guard, "is to poke them. I should poke somebody coming to see -the President?" - -"Can't people tell they aren't me by the way they act?" Archy asked -June. "Cheeky, bossy--OBVIOUSLY they aren't me." - -"Obviously, huh?" said June. "Let's go, or we'll miss the conference." - -President Conklin opened the discussion with general remarks. - -"In the first place, the Attorney-General informs me that Mr. House is -legally responsible for the behavior of these projections--they are his -agents, insofar as they are beings; his possessions, insofar as they -are things. If Mr. House cannot rid the country of them, he is liable -to extremely grave consequences." - -"Hold on," blurted Archy, with a dark glance at Otto. "My -master-scrambler was sabotaged. I can't be held responsible for that." - -"Do you know who did it? Can you definitely prove it was sabotage?" - -Archy reddened. "I can tell you I'll find out." - -"Until you do, it's your responsibility. Now today we have two reports. -Mr. Otto Kahler--a very capable man, and I understand he is the real -inventor of the full-projection process--has discovered how the -projections manage to survive although cut off from studio power. Also, -he has some comments on their nature. Before we hear from him, there is -a report from the Secretary of the Interior." - -The Secretary was a bald, tired, paunchy man who reminded people of a -banker. Perhaps because he had been a banker. He opened his mouth to -begin. - - _"Tell your mother, - "Tell your brother, - "Ain't no better - "Peanut butter!"_ - -The raspy song came from beneath the table. Archy dived under and out -frisked an Andy Armadillo projection, natty in green breeches and -prospector's hat. - -The cartoon sat jauntily in the middle of the table. "Say, kids," he -addressed the group, "Teeny-Crunch Peaner Butter really has it. This -peaner butter is like going to heaven. It's smooth yet--" - -"Get out of here!" screamed Archy. - -The Armadillo eyed him. "Look, Mac, I'm doing an act. I'm tired of -being turned off." He began the commercial again. - -The conference moved to another room. "Better chink the door," said -Otto. - -The Secretary of the Interior began anew. Archy listened closely; there -would be a chance to trip this guy up. - -"It's estimated that 500,000,000 projections are at large," said the -secretary. "Here are some things that have happened: - -"Throngs of the cowboy projections are heading west. They get on horses -and chase cattle. The horses buck them off, they climb right back -on. Half the horses in the country are so crazed they'll be useless -forever. Villain projections are hiding all over the nation. The cowboy -hero projections are fighting the villains in a million bar-rooms. -Fortunately they can't use real guns, but customers aren't convinced." - -"Who cares about a bunch of drunks?" said Archy. Everybody scowled. - -"The Pixie Owens projections I needn't dwell on. They've caused -thousands of auto wrecks just by appearing along highways. - -"The clowns and jugglers have put the circuses out of business by -invading at show time. The jugglers get into ping-pong tournaments, -juggle the balls. Nobody can keep them out. - -"The armadillo cartoons have bankrupt Teeny-Crunch Peanut -Butter--nobody will buy it. - -"The projections are claiming U.S. citizenship and the right to vote. -The Archy projections are organizing them. They've horned into every -village, town, city, state, and national governmental conclave. - -"Projections hunt audiences. They have disrupted every stage show in -the country. They put on shows in people's living rooms, in parks, -in the middle of the street. A few got jobs with stock companies, in -movies, and so on, but they can only play one part--the one they were -doing for Full-Projection." - -"I'm entitled to a percentage of their earnings," said Archy. - -"They've all been fired," said Otto. "If the secretary is through--the -report is beginning to border on the nature of the projections--perhaps -I can make my report now." - - * * * * * - -President Conklin glanced at the Secretary, who nodded. - -"I guess you know their mental properties," said Otto. - -"Sort of monomaniacs. They're counterfeit humans, of course, but -limited counterfeits. The configuration projected for any given actor -is solely of the elements in that person which are involved in the part -being played. Part of the neural patterns synapses, so on--only a -part, but complete circuits--are projected. - -"This part is enough to allow a certain freedom of development, -acquisition of new ideas, individuality. Basically a projection is a -replica of the person being projected. Pixie, for instance, has never -strip-teased on one of the shows...." - -"I should hope not!" snuffed the Secretary. - -"... but the projection Pixie does what the real Pixie has implicit -in her nature. Our friend the armadillo, being only a cartoon, is -different. About all he can do is repeat commercials. - -"Physically, the projections eat no food. They are not quite solid--one -couldn't pick up a coin or a hammer, but could handle a ping-pong ball -or a fluff of cotton. - -"They are somewhat plastic and slip through restricted openings. I -saw one walk through a screen door, and I'm told they can get through -keyholes. They can be temporarily broken up by physical means, but come -right back together." - -"I know how to lick 'em!" shouted Archy. "Chop 'em up fine and disperse -the pieces." - -"The sheriff of Pickle, W.Va., tried that," said Otto. "Ran a bunch of -clown projections through a fine chopper. They reconstituted into one -gigantic clown currently scaring hell out of half the state." - -"Maybe we could make portable scramblers," said Archy. "Everybody could -carry one." - -"That's been considered," said the President. "Hunting down projections -one by one would take years. Please continue, Mr. Kahler." - -"I've found out how they keep going without studio power," said Otto. -"They hang around electrical installations--high-tension lines, -generators, radio and TV transmitters, even auto batteries. Wherever -there are electro-magnetic fields. They go a day or two on their own, -then get recharged. There are gangs of them hanging around these -places." - -"That's it!" pronounced Archy. "That's where we can scramble them." - -"We'll probably try it," said Otto, "but it won't get many. They'll -just go to the millions of miles of power lines." - -"Then turn off all the power," said Archy. "Starve 'em." - -Several people spoke at once, and Archy's chest went up. The president -silenced them. - -"Do you realize what that would mean, turning off the country's power? -Deliberate disaster." - -Archy reddened. "Well." - -"Could Mr. House please refrain from interruptions?" snuffed the -Secretary. - -June's hand, under the table, patted Archy's knee. She didn't say -anything--just patted his knee. - -"I have one last question," said the President. "Mr. Kahler, I -understand these projections are extremely complex electronic -propagations. How can they be maintained by random power fields like -batteries and high-tension wires?" - -"There's a difference between propagating them and maintaining them," -said Otto. "Once you've projected them, maintenance is fairly simple." - -"I see," said Conklin. "I believe that concludes our conference. Mr. -House, I don't want to see your face for five days. And I want you -to come and tell me the projections are gone. All of them. If this -happens, the damage might be--well, attended to. If it doesn't--you -will be broken, Mr. House, very thoroughly." - -"Okay, Pops," said Archy. "I mean--Mr. President." - - * * * * * - -Back at the hotel, June and Otto accompanied Archy to his suite. He -wanted to talk to them, though he had a root-deep feeling nothing could -do any good. - -Somebody was in the suite, standing with a finger stuck in a light -socket. "Hello, bud," grinned the Archy-projection passing from -translucency to opaqueness as the current vitalized it. "Thought I'd -recharge at _our_ place here." - -Archy glared. "Ignore the S.O.B.," he told the others. "Without an -audience he won't stay." - -It took an hour, during which the Archy-projection bragged of his plans -for forming a TV company, stage troupes, running for congress, and -producing more projections of himself, but finally he left. Archy's -face was sunk in his hands. - -"Maybe you're the only people I can admit this to," he said, "but I'm -whipped." - -"You actually mean that, Archy?" June's voice was not quite mocking. - -"Yes. I thought there was nothing I couldn't get on top of--I was -like that damned walking marionette that just pranced out of here--a -blowhard. I'm beat, folks." - -"Maybe you'll come up with something," offered Otto. "Maybe...." June -shushed him. - -"You two had better get out from under," said Archy. "June, find some -nice guy to marry--hell, marry Otto, I know he likes you. I'm pulling -my money out of the bank--split it between you. It won't help me where -I'm going." - -June sat on his lap. - -"Honey, suppose there was a way for you to get rid of all those -projections? Then you could take the credit and come back strong as -ever." - -"How could I take the credit?" - -"Suppose your own staff made the plan? After all, you're smart enough -to hire them." - -"Maybe this sounds crazy, coming from me, but the credit would go to -whoever deserved it. What good is it to be a big shot if you know -you've been licked, even once?" - -June seemed to turn something over in her mind, looking at it; there -was silence before she spoke. - -"I've got an idea," she said. - -"What?" he asked hopelessly. - -"Let's get married when this is all over. I'd like it better even than -a thousand a week." - -"You're nuts," he said. "Marry a phony--a blowhard? That's why you -never did marry me, isn't it? _Isn't it?_" - -"Yes," said June. "And I said, if you remember, that I'd marry you if -you ever figured that out. Which you have." - -"I've got to go see the desk clerk," said Otto. "Told him I'd help with -his--ah--radio set. But here's an idea--why not get married Friday at -Big Butte?" - -It was all too fast for Archy. "Big Butte? What's that?" But Otto was -gone, and June began to tell him. - - * * * * * - -It was an evening ceremony, the Big Butte, Wyoming, wedding and well -attended by everyone but projections. There were no more free-moving -projections. Every one in the nation had gathered at Big Butte, in the -middle of Wyoming, for a popularity contest and organizational meeting -organized by Archy and the Archy projections, backed by Full-projection -money. And when they were gathered--the whole fantastic crew of -them--Otto had actuated the gigantic scrambler concealed on the butte -and the insubstantial pageant faded, leaving not a wrack behind. - -The honeymoon was marred by one small thing. - -"You know," said Archy "one thing I've gotta do is find out who -sabotaged me in the first place." - -"I guess I can let you know," said June. "I wanted to teach you a -lesson. I had no idea it'd get out of hand--what are you going to do?" - -Archy had made a sudden move. "I was going to spank you," he -said, firming his grip on her. "But now I have ahold of you. I'd -rather--well--we _are_ married." - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FALL OF ARCHY HOUSE *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following -the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use -of the Project Gutenberg trademark. 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Harris</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Fall of Archy House</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Tom W. Harris</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: April 30, 2021 [eBook #65199]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FALL OF ARCHY HOUSE ***</div> - - -<div class="titlepage"> - - -<h1>THE FALL OF ARCHY HOUSE</h1> - -<h2>By Tom W. Harris</h2> - -<p>Television is a swell way of projecting<br /> -ideas to an audience. But Archy created chaos<br /> -when he used it to project real live monsters!</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br /> -December 1957<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>For over two weeks, the projections were a national emergency, and the -nation got pretty sore at Archy House.</p> - -<p>Archy was on camera when it happened. He always closed the Home Hour in -person, partly because nobody else did it quite as well, partly because -it flattered the audience to see him.</p> - -<p>His delivery was almost shaken, the night the thing happened, by the -appearance of Otto Kahler, chief engineer, just out of camera-range, -his hair in his eyes and a wildness about his mouth.</p> - -<p>Arch closed his patter smoothly, set a smile through fadeout, and -turned to Kahler.</p> - -<p>"What's up, Otto? You look like a ghost that saw a ghost." He let -annoyance enter his voice. He was surrounded by the best men money -could buy, and sometimes they ran around like children.</p> - -<p>"The scrambler blew," said Otto. "Somebody spilled a pail of water on -it."</p> - -<p>In an office a phone began ringing. "Mr. House," somebody shouted, -"it's the White House calling."</p> - -<p>Archy gave Otto a shove. "Dammit, man, switch on the auxiliary. Do I -have to tell you?" Otto just stood there as Archy turned and yelled -into the confusion off the set, "Tell Washington I'll be right with -'em."</p> - -<p>His eye swept the studio. "Where's June Manning?"</p> - -<p>Even in this tight moment, his breath gave the familiar balloon-lurch -as Full-Projection Studio's top writer glided from the directors' -studio in her blue sheathe gown. Her wheat-blonde hair was dressed in -the latest style, a yard-long, loose-braided hank slung richly over her -shoulder; and her face was part cherubic, part perverse.</p> - -<p>Another phone began ringing.</p> - -<p>"June, I want a 30-second yak to give the viewers. You have 90 seconds -to get it on idiot cards; I'm going on with it right after the station -break. The scramblers failed. Gimme something soothing to say. Got it?"</p> - -<p>She nodded and marched off. Otto cleared his throat. Archy spun. "What -are you waiting for? Get switched to auxiliary! We've got projections -prancing around living rooms in every suburb in the country."</p> - -<p>Another phone was ringing. "General Cox for Mr. House," somebody -yelled. "Calling from Hawaii."</p> - -<p>Archy wished these jackasses would all drop dead. He shook Otto.</p> - -<p>"I tried the auxiliary," said Otto. "It's out."</p> - -<p>"Holy volts," said Archy.</p> - -<p>For the first time in his life he felt desperate. A cool head and a -habit of never being wrong had got him where he was—founder and top -banana of Full-Projection, sole owner of three TV networks using the -revolutionary 3-D devices perfected by Otto Kahler and patented by -Archy. In the present emergency, he tried to keep his head still cool -and continue to never be wrong.</p> - -<p>A stagehand was running a phone out onto the set. Waiting, Archy -snapped instructions at Otto—put half the staff to trying to get -the scramblers operating, set the other half to slapping together an -emergency machine. Otto dashed off and the phone was slapped into -Archy's hand.</p> - -<p>"Yes, Ben," he said assuringly to the President of the United States. -"What can I do for you?"</p> - -<p>"You can get those projections out of my living room," snapped -the president. "They're still doing their acts from the circus -show—jugglers, acrobats, an animated cartoon. What happened?"</p> - -<p>"Don't worry, Pops. An experimental commercial goofed. Stay tuned; -we'll have the scramblers on in ten minutes."</p> - -<p>"You'd better," crackled President Conklin. "I have guests—this could -be an international incident. And don't call me Pops."</p> - -<p>"Sit tight. And now excuse me, Ben, I'm going on the air. Just keep the -projections near the set, within scrambler range."</p> - -<p>He was on. They used the conventional flatscreen cameras, and June's -script was as smooth as if she'd worked all day on it ... as smooth as -her satiny shoulders and not-quite-uncovered bust. It explained that -due to uncontrollable circumstances scrambler-power was temporarily off.</p> - -<p>"Our advice is, stay calm," Archy read smoothly. "The projections are -not real people. They are harmless. They are merely images of people, -just as in old-fashioned flat TV, except that they are projected into -your home in full dimensions. Even with no scrambler to dissipate the -electro-magnetic configuration of which they are composed, they will -not last long.</p> - -<p>"They are held together, energized, by the energy beamed from our -studios through your set. Without that power they will vanish, probably -within a few minutes."</p> - -<p>Reassured by what he had just read, Archy took more phone calls.</p> - -<p>The general in Hawaii told him the barracks were full of Pixie Owens -projections, Bikini-clad, and military discipline was shattered.</p> - -<p>The mayor of New York reported that Central Park was teeming with Wild -West Theater projections, and armadillos in the streets had jammed all -traffic.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>President Conklin made a furious repeat call. The Russian consulate -had sent a stiff note protesting the "degenerate practical joke" -perpetrated on a Soviet diplomat attending Conklin's soiree.</p> - -<p>The skipper of a battleship said his men proposed tossing all -projections overboard, and he wanted to know if this would constitute -murder.</p> - -<p>Archy said it wouldn't, instructed his staff to take no more calls, and -went to find Otto. June went with him.</p> - -<p>June was a person with a knack for making you think of something else -no matter what crisis you were embroiled in. In the elevator, Archy -slipped an arm around her. "I've got an idea," he whispered.</p> - -<p>"I'll scream," she warned, "and this shaft is like a megaphone."</p> - -<p>"That's not the idea—anyway, an elevator is too cramped. My idea is; -let's get married when this is over."</p> - -<p>"Hmmm." She twisted back provocatively. "I've got another idea—give me -a raise and I might think about it."</p> - -<p>"That's what you said the last three times, and now you're drawing a -thousand a week."</p> - -<p>"And worth every buck of it."</p> - -<p>"True, true. If I didn't pay you what you're worth, professionally, -some other outfit would steal you."</p> - -<p>"You think I'd pull out just for a raise?"</p> - -<p>"You'd be nuts if you didn't. Look, June—if you married me, a thousand -a week would be nothing—peanuts."</p> - -<p>She laughed, throaty but tinkling, a brook flowing through chimes. "And -you wonder why I won't marry you. My friend, I won't marry you until -you figure out <i>why</i> I won't."</p> - -<p>The elevator stopped before he could ask for explanations. They found -Otto among his machines, seated at a table. There were sheets of paper -on it. There was also a small, furry body.</p> - -<p>"Okay, Otto—when do we get a scrambler on? I've got the great American -public snowed, but I can't hold 'em forever."</p> - -<p>"We just found the trouble," said Otto, brushing the hair off his -forehead. "It's crazy." He picked up the furred object. "A mouse got -into the auxiliary and shorted it."</p> - -<p>"Number one," said Archy. "Tomorrow I fire the maintenance staff. -Mice—in my studio! Number two—how soon can you have a scrambler -going?"</p> - -<p>"Fifteen minutes," said Otto proudly.</p> - -<p>"Make it ten. Buzz me in the studio. We'll cut right into the program."</p> - -<p>Back in the elevator, Archy crowed. "That's it, Baby—Archy House in -action, everything taken care of."</p> - -<p>"No credit for Otto?"</p> - -<p>"You kidding. Otto's smart enough to work for me, but I'm smart enough -to hire him. So who's smartest?" He juggled the mouse in his hand, -reflectively. "Without me, Otto'd be nowhere. Somebody else'd have his -idea. The smart guys are the promoters, chick. Why not marry one?"</p> - -<p>She snorted wordlessly. He tossed the mouse in his palm and suddenly -swore.</p> - -<p>"I hurt your feelings, promoter?"</p> - -<p>"Look at this mouse!"</p> - -<p>She eyed him quizzically.</p> - -<p>"This mouse never crawled into any scrambler," said Archy. "It was -stuck in there, dead, and I've been sabotaged. It has a broken neck."</p> - -<p>The elevator stopped, the door slid back, and Archy's mind left the -mouse. It was as though a mirror had popped up before him. He was -staring at a nattily-dressed, cocky replica of himself.</p> - -<p>"Don't worry, about anything, Mac," said the projection. "I'll have -things tight in a jiffy."</p> - -<p>"My God," said June. "The monitor sets were on. Projections must be -all over the studio."</p> - -<p>"Hi, chick," said the projection. "Come on up to the office; there's -some things to talk about."</p> - -<p>Archy swung. The blow slipped harmlessly through the projection's jaw.</p> - -<p>"You're passe," said the projection. "Outmoded. Here, play with Andy. -Come on, June."</p> - -<p>Archy cannoned a kick at the cartoon armadillo. His foot passed -through, trailing a filmy tatter which snapped back into Andy's body.</p> - -<p>"Eat Teeny-Crunchy Peanut Butter, kids," sang Andy Armadillo.</p> - -<p>Eight minutes later Otto rang the buzzer. June had the projections -doing a show in an office; when the scrambler kicked on they vanished. -But an hour after that the White House called Archy.</p> - -<p>"You only nailed about ten percent of those characters of yours," -shouted President Conklin. "The rest had wandered out of range—I mean -the ones all over the country. What are you going to do about it?"</p> - -<p>"Don't worry, pops. All under control ... my best people are working on -it."</p> - -<p>"Under control? With seven Pixie Owenses strip-teasing on the White -House lawn? You get down here, House, and bring your staff."</p> - -<p>Conklin's receiver slammed before Archy could answer. He slowly rubbed -his ear. "This is getting bad."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A week later things were still bad. Archy, June and Otto were still in -Washington, and the President had called another conference. Of all -the projections, the one of himself distressed Archy the most. They -were insufferably arrogant. One had tried to pilot the plane that took -him to the capital. Dozens had congregated at Full-Projection Studios, -issuing orders to the staff. Twice, one had talked his way into a -Presidential conference. "The only way you can tell they aren't real," -said a guard, "is to poke them. I should poke somebody coming to see -the President?"</p> - -<p>"Can't people tell they aren't me by the way they act?" Archy asked -June. "Cheeky, bossy—OBVIOUSLY they aren't me."</p> - -<p>"Obviously, huh?" said June. "Let's go, or we'll miss the conference."</p> - -<p>President Conklin opened the discussion with general remarks.</p> - -<p>"In the first place, the Attorney-General informs me that Mr. House is -legally responsible for the behavior of these projections—they are his -agents, insofar as they are beings; his possessions, insofar as they -are things. If Mr. House cannot rid the country of them, he is liable -to extremely grave consequences."</p> - -<p>"Hold on," blurted Archy, with a dark glance at Otto. "My -master-scrambler was sabotaged. I can't be held responsible for that."</p> - -<p>"Do you know who did it? Can you definitely prove it was sabotage?"</p> - -<p>Archy reddened. "I can tell you I'll find out."</p> - -<p>"Until you do, it's your responsibility. Now today we have two reports. -Mr. Otto Kahler—a very capable man, and I understand he is the real -inventor of the full-projection process—has discovered how the -projections manage to survive although cut off from studio power. Also, -he has some comments on their nature. Before we hear from him, there is -a report from the Secretary of the Interior."</p> - -<p>The Secretary was a bald, tired, paunchy man who reminded people of a -banker. Perhaps because he had been a banker. He opened his mouth to -begin.</p> - -<div class="poetry"> - <div class="stanza"> - <div class="verse"><i>"Tell your mother,</i></div> - <div class="verse"><i>"Tell your brother,</i></div> - <div class="verse"><i>"Ain't no better</i></div> - <div class="verse"><i>"Peanut butter!"</i></div> -</div></div> - -<p>The raspy song came from beneath the table. Archy dived under and out -frisked an Andy Armadillo projection, natty in green breeches and -prospector's hat.</p> - -<p>The cartoon sat jauntily in the middle of the table. "Say, kids," he -addressed the group, "Teeny-Crunch Peaner Butter really has it. This -peaner butter is like going to heaven. It's smooth yet—"</p> - -<p>"Get out of here!" screamed Archy.</p> - -<p>The Armadillo eyed him. "Look, Mac, I'm doing an act. I'm tired of -being turned off." He began the commercial again.</p> - -<p>The conference moved to another room. "Better chink the door," said -Otto.</p> - -<p>The Secretary of the Interior began anew. Archy listened closely; there -would be a chance to trip this guy up.</p> - -<p>"It's estimated that 500,000,000 projections are at large," said the -secretary. "Here are some things that have happened:</p> - -<p>"Throngs of the cowboy projections are heading west. They get on horses -and chase cattle. The horses buck them off, they climb right back -on. Half the horses in the country are so crazed they'll be useless -forever. Villain projections are hiding all over the nation. The cowboy -hero projections are fighting the villains in a million bar-rooms. -Fortunately they can't use real guns, but customers aren't convinced."</p> - -<p>"Who cares about a bunch of drunks?" said Archy. Everybody scowled.</p> - -<p>"The Pixie Owens projections I needn't dwell on. They've caused -thousands of auto wrecks just by appearing along highways.</p> - -<p>"The clowns and jugglers have put the circuses out of business by -invading at show time. The jugglers get into ping-pong tournaments, -juggle the balls. Nobody can keep them out.</p> - -<p>"The armadillo cartoons have bankrupt Teeny-Crunch Peanut -Butter—nobody will buy it.</p> - -<p>"The projections are claiming U.S. citizenship and the right to vote. -The Archy projections are organizing them. They've horned into every -village, town, city, state, and national governmental conclave.</p> - -<p>"Projections hunt audiences. They have disrupted every stage show in -the country. They put on shows in people's living rooms, in parks, -in the middle of the street. A few got jobs with stock companies, in -movies, and so on, but they can only play one part—the one they were -doing for Full-Projection."</p> - -<p>"I'm entitled to a percentage of their earnings," said Archy.</p> - -<p>"They've all been fired," said Otto. "If the secretary is through—the -report is beginning to border on the nature of the projections—perhaps -I can make my report now."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>President Conklin glanced at the Secretary, who nodded.</p> - -<p>"I guess you know their mental properties," said Otto.</p> - -<p>"Sort of monomaniacs. They're counterfeit humans, of course, but -limited counterfeits. The configuration projected for any given actor -is solely of the elements in that person which are involved in the part -being played. Part of the neural patterns synapses, so on—only a -part, but complete circuits—are projected.</p> - -<p>"This part is enough to allow a certain freedom of development, -acquisition of new ideas, individuality. Basically a projection is a -replica of the person being projected. Pixie, for instance, has never -strip-teased on one of the shows...."</p> - -<p>"I should hope not!" snuffed the Secretary.</p> - -<p>"... but the projection Pixie does what the real Pixie has implicit -in her nature. Our friend the armadillo, being only a cartoon, is -different. About all he can do is repeat commercials.</p> - -<p>"Physically, the projections eat no food. They are not quite solid—one -couldn't pick up a coin or a hammer, but could handle a ping-pong ball -or a fluff of cotton.</p> - -<p>"They are somewhat plastic and slip through restricted openings. I -saw one walk through a screen door, and I'm told they can get through -keyholes. They can be temporarily broken up by physical means, but come -right back together."</p> - -<p>"I know how to lick 'em!" shouted Archy. "Chop 'em up fine and disperse -the pieces."</p> - -<p>"The sheriff of Pickle, W.Va., tried that," said Otto. "Ran a bunch of -clown projections through a fine chopper. They reconstituted into one -gigantic clown currently scaring hell out of half the state."</p> - -<p>"Maybe we could make portable scramblers," said Archy. "Everybody could -carry one."</p> - -<p>"That's been considered," said the President. "Hunting down projections -one by one would take years. Please continue, Mr. Kahler."</p> - -<p>"I've found out how they keep going without studio power," said Otto. -"They hang around electrical installations—high-tension lines, -generators, radio and TV transmitters, even auto batteries. Wherever -there are electro-magnetic fields. They go a day or two on their own, -then get recharged. There are gangs of them hanging around these -places."</p> - -<p>"That's it!" pronounced Archy. "That's where we can scramble them."</p> - -<p>"We'll probably try it," said Otto, "but it won't get many. They'll -just go to the millions of miles of power lines."</p> - -<p>"Then turn off all the power," said Archy. "Starve 'em."</p> - -<p>Several people spoke at once, and Archy's chest went up. The president -silenced them.</p> - -<p>"Do you realize what that would mean, turning off the country's power? -Deliberate disaster."</p> - -<p>Archy reddened. "Well."</p> - -<p>"Could Mr. House please refrain from interruptions?" snuffed the -Secretary.</p> - -<p>June's hand, under the table, patted Archy's knee. She didn't say -anything—just patted his knee.</p> - -<p>"I have one last question," said the President. "Mr. Kahler, I -understand these projections are extremely complex electronic -propagations. How can they be maintained by random power fields like -batteries and high-tension wires?"</p> - -<p>"There's a difference between propagating them and maintaining them," -said Otto. "Once you've projected them, maintenance is fairly simple."</p> - -<p>"I see," said Conklin. "I believe that concludes our conference. Mr. -House, I don't want to see your face for five days. And I want you -to come and tell me the projections are gone. All of them. If this -happens, the damage might be—well, attended to. If it doesn't—you -will be broken, Mr. House, very thoroughly."</p> - -<p>"Okay, Pops," said Archy. "I mean—Mr. President."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Back at the hotel, June and Otto accompanied Archy to his suite. He -wanted to talk to them, though he had a root-deep feeling nothing could -do any good.</p> - -<p>Somebody was in the suite, standing with a finger stuck in a light -socket. "Hello, bud," grinned the Archy-projection passing from -translucency to opaqueness as the current vitalized it. "Thought I'd -recharge at <i>our</i> place here."</p> - -<p>Archy glared. "Ignore the S.O.B.," he told the others. "Without an -audience he won't stay."</p> - -<p>It took an hour, during which the Archy-projection bragged of his plans -for forming a TV company, stage troupes, running for congress, and -producing more projections of himself, but finally he left. Archy's -face was sunk in his hands.</p> - -<p>"Maybe you're the only people I can admit this to," he said, "but I'm -whipped."</p> - -<p>"You actually mean that, Archy?" June's voice was not quite mocking.</p> - -<p>"Yes. I thought there was nothing I couldn't get on top of—I was -like that damned walking marionette that just pranced out of here—a -blowhard. I'm beat, folks."</p> - -<p>"Maybe you'll come up with something," offered Otto. "Maybe...." June -shushed him.</p> - -<p>"You two had better get out from under," said Archy. "June, find some -nice guy to marry—hell, marry Otto, I know he likes you. I'm pulling -my money out of the bank—split it between you. It won't help me where -I'm going."</p> - -<p>June sat on his lap.</p> - -<p>"Honey, suppose there was a way for you to get rid of all those -projections? Then you could take the credit and come back strong as -ever."</p> - -<p>"How could I take the credit?"</p> - -<p>"Suppose your own staff made the plan? After all, you're smart enough -to hire them."</p> - -<p>"Maybe this sounds crazy, coming from me, but the credit would go to -whoever deserved it. What good is it to be a big shot if you know -you've been licked, even once?"</p> - -<p>June seemed to turn something over in her mind, looking at it; there -was silence before she spoke.</p> - -<p>"I've got an idea," she said.</p> - -<p>"What?" he asked hopelessly.</p> - -<p>"Let's get married when this is all over. I'd like it better even than -a thousand a week."</p> - -<p>"You're nuts," he said. "Marry a phony—a blowhard? That's why you -never did marry me, isn't it? <i>Isn't it?</i>"</p> - -<p>"Yes," said June. "And I said, if you remember, that I'd marry you if -you ever figured that out. Which you have."</p> - -<p>"I've got to go see the desk clerk," said Otto. "Told him I'd help with -his—ah—radio set. But here's an idea—why not get married Friday at -Big Butte?"</p> - -<p>It was all too fast for Archy. "Big Butte? What's that?" But Otto was -gone, and June began to tell him.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It was an evening ceremony, the Big Butte, Wyoming, wedding and well -attended by everyone but projections. There were no more free-moving -projections. Every one in the nation had gathered at Big Butte, in the -middle of Wyoming, for a popularity contest and organizational meeting -organized by Archy and the Archy projections, backed by Full-projection -money. And when they were gathered—the whole fantastic crew of -them—Otto had actuated the gigantic scrambler concealed on the butte -and the insubstantial pageant faded, leaving not a wrack behind.</p> - -<p>The honeymoon was marred by one small thing.</p> - -<p>"You know," said Archy "one thing I've gotta do is find out who -sabotaged me in the first place."</p> - -<p>"I guess I can let you know," said June. "I wanted to teach you a -lesson. I had no idea it'd get out of hand—what are you going to do?"</p> - -<p>Archy had made a sudden move. "I was going to spank you," he -said, firming his grip on her. "But now I have ahold of you. I'd -rather—well—we <i>are</i> married."</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FALL OF ARCHY HOUSE ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ -concept and trademark. 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