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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #65126 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65126)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of An Eel by the Tail, by Allen K. Lang
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: An Eel by the Tail
-
-Author: Allen K. Lang
-
-Release Date: April 21, 2021 [eBook #65126]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN EEL BY THE TAIL ***
-
-
-
-
- AN EEL BY THE TAIL
-
- By Allen K. Lang
-
- Mr. Tedder was quite sure that a strip tease
- dancer had no place in his physics classroom. But
- what bothered him more was how she got there!
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy
- April 1951
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-The strip teaser materialized in the first period physics class at
-Terre Haute's Technical High School.
-
-It all happened just because Mr. Tedder was fresh out of college,
-and anxious to make good in his first teaching job. He'd been given
-Physics II, a tough class for a new teacher. His pupils, a set of
-hardened II-A boys, were sure of themselves and so were the few girls
-in the class. It was with hopes of shaking that assurance that Mr.
-Tedder had spent a month of after-school hours studying an article on
-Ziegler's effect. He also hoped, but with less faith than wistfulness,
-that a demonstration of Ziegler's effect might shock his class into
-staying awake. Above all, Mr. Tedder felt that his Junior boys might
-be considerably edified by an electrical phenomenon that was not yet
-understood by the best physical theorists of three planets.
-
-Mr. Tedder wanted to give his class a good show. So, with more feeling
-for dramatic effect than for scientific good sense, he'd wound the
-three solenoids with heavy insulated silver wire rather than with the
-light copper wire Ziegler had reported using. On the theory that, if he
-were to demonstrate the Ziegler effect it would be best to demonstrate
-a whole lot of it, Mr. Tedder contrived a battery of the new
-lithium-reaction cells. The direct current from this powerful battery
-was transformed by an antique, but workable, automotive spark coil.
-
-The bell rang as usual that morning, marking the beginning of the first
-class. Twenty pupils filed into the physics classroom and took their
-seats. Eighteen of them slumped down in an attitude which suggested
-that, although they were prepared to accept stoically the hour's
-ordeal, they weren't going to allow themselves to be taught anything.
-After all, Tech had lost last night's game to Walbash: what physical
-phenomenon could hope to shake off that grim memory? There was a
-shuffling of papers as the boys in the back seats pulled comic books
-from their notebooks. Guenther and Stetzel, sitting up front, pulled
-sheets of paper from notepads and headed them, "The Ziegler Effect."
-
-The classroom settled into an uneasy silence. Mr. Tedder waved an
-instructive hand toward the apparatus set up on the marble top of the
-demonstration bench. "As you can see, I have a set of three solenoids,
-or coils of insulated wire, connected to a source of alternating
-current. A sudden surge of this current through the outermost solenoid
-will give an iron-cerium alloy bar placed at the center of the
-apparatus an impetus toward horizontal motion." Stetzel and Guenther,
-who were conscientious, took rapid notes. The rest of the class was
-divided between those students who were surreptitiously catching up
-on the adventures of "_The Rocket Patrol_" and those who were quietly
-sinking into sleep.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Mr. Tedder continued. "The alloy bar's initial movement will be
-frustrated, as it were, by the action of a second solenoid placed
-within and at right angles to the first. A third coil, within and at
-right angles to each of the outer two, completes the process. The
-winding ratios of the three solenoids are 476:9:34." Stetzel and
-Guenther scribbled the numbers rapidly; Ned Norcross, in the back row,
-stirred in his sleep, and two members of the Class of '95 who shared a
-volume of the Rocket Patrol's exploits agreed to turn the page.
-
-"What happens to the bar of iron-cerium at this point is a matter
-of conjecture. All observers are agreed only in that it disappears.
-Perhaps it leaves the coils so rapidly that it neither injures the
-wires nor can it be seen. Perhaps the bar passes through a temporary
-fissure in the three-dimensional system we perceive, falling into some
-yet-unconceivable other dimension. Doctor Ziegler, who first observed
-this effect, inclines to this latter belief." Mr. Tedder placed his
-fingers on the telegraph key he'd rigged up to close the circuit
-through his apparatus. "Watch closely," he cautioned, tapping down on
-the key.
-
- * * * * *
-
-_On the twenty-third planet at a distant sun--a planet called by
-its inhabitants a name for which there are no equivalents in human
-phonetics--a Young Being in the early stages of pre-maturity tangled
-the minds of his elders with feelings of anguish. His teacher had
-disappeared!_
-
- * * * * *
-
-Ned Norcross, who was taking Junior Physics II for the third time,
-had his mind on neither the Ziegler Effect nor the tragic results of
-last night's basketball game. He was slumped at his desk, dreamily
-rehearsing the topography of one Honey LaRue, a strip teaser who
-nightly practiced her art at the Club Innuendo. Norcross pried himself
-up on one elbow to glance toward the clock above the demonstration
-bench, then slumped forward on his desk in a faint. Up on the marble
-top of the demonstration bench, pulling off a right silk glove in time
-to the lazy ripple of a snare-drum, danced Honey LaRue.
-
-[Illustration: Mr. Tedder felt an embarrassed flush coloring his cheeks
-as the figure of the girl undulated before his eyes....]
-
-Mr. Tedder yelped, and immediately regretted it. He'd had two beers
-three days before; could that bring on hallucination at this late date?
-But Honey had gone, taking the Ziegler coils with her. One terminal of
-the telegraph key was still connected to the plate on the spark coil,
-the other wire ended in a little knot of fused silver. No, this wasn't
-the effect that Doctor Ziegler had reported, not at all!
-
- * * * * *
-
-To cover his confusion Mr. Tedder began to talk. "There, you've
-just seen the Ziegler effect in action. Explain what you've just
-seen and you'll be famous among men." Indeed, the cerium-iron
-alloy bar had disappeared; but so had 20,000 cm. of No. 40 silver
-wire, silk-insulated. But the boys--except, of course, Stetzel and
-Guenther--hadn't noticed. Mr. Tedder glanced over his shoulder to the
-clock, saw that it would be fifteen minutes before the class would
-end, and made a quick decision in the interest of his sanity. "Class
-dismissed!" he said.
-
-There was a stupefied second while the news soaked into dormant nervous
-systems. Then the boys were shouting across the room, grabbing up
-books, and hurrying out into the hall to take noisy advantage of their
-moment of freedom. Stetzel and Guenther, as behooved the top pupils of
-the Class of '95, hurried up to Mr. Tedder to check their notes.
-
-"The symbol for cerium is 'Ce,' isn't it?" Stetzel asked.
-
-"Yes. But now...."
-
-"How did you do that, Mr. Tedder?" Guenther interrupted.
-
-"Do what?" Mr. Tedder glanced suspiciously at Guenther. Perhaps it
-hadn't been those two beers.
-
-"You had a woman dancing, right up where those solenoids were,"
-Guenther said.
-
-"That's what I saw," Stetzel substantiated. "What a movie! She sure
-looked three-dimensional to me. Wow!"
-
-"Yes," Mr. Tedder said, canceling his decision of a moment before, to
-lay off beer. "That was just a little stunt I thought up to see how
-many of you were paying attention. New optical principle, you know. Now
-if you'll excuse me, I've got to get things ready for the next class.
-And wake up Norcross on your way out, will you?"
-
-Stetzel jarred Norcross from unconsciousness and walked out into the
-hall, talking and gesturing significantly with Guenther. Norcross
-unfolded himself slowly, glanced with a furtive eye toward Mr. Tedder
-and the empty bench-top, and walked rapidly out of the room, down the
-stairs, and into the school physician's office.
-
-Alone, Mr. Tedder frowned at the bereft lithium battery and telegraph
-key. He had pressed the key, closing the circuit, and there'd been a
-spurt of flame. A strange girl had appeared, dancing on the marble top
-of the demonstration bench. He'd never seen the woman before; a tall
-blonde wearing very little.... What the devil! There she was again.
-
-Mr. Coar, principal of Tech, walked toward the door to the physics
-classroom, rehearsing the speech he was going to deliver upon Tedder.
-"Young man, Tech does not approve of the practice of letting students
-out into the halls before the end of the period. Their racket has
-shaken the walls of classrooms on three floors. What have you to say
-for yourself, Mr. Tedder?" Yes, that would do nicely. Mr. Coar opened
-the door.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Mr. Tedder was leaning against a front-row desk, nodding appreciatively
-as a sketchily-clad young lady danced for him. "TEDDER!" the principal
-bellowed. "Stop that!"
-
-Honey LaRue faded, and the space between telegraph key and lithium
-battery was empty again.
-
-"Stop what?" Mr. Tedder inquired, wide-eyed with innocence.
-
-"Stop letting your classes out early so that you can spend your time
-gloating over your ... your ..." Mr. Coar groped for a stinging
-adjective, drew a blank, and concluded weakly, "... your movies!"
-
-"Did you see her, too?"
-
-"I did, indeed. You came here highly recommended by Indiana University,
-Tedder; and, frankly, I didn't expect this sort of thing from you."
-
-"Mr. Coar, I believe that I've stumbled across a novel physical
-phenomenon."
-
-"Anatomy was being studied in 1600 A.D., young man," Mr. Coar observed,
-his voice dripping sarcasm, "and is scarcely any longer a 'novel
-physical phenomenon'."
-
-"Sit down, sir." Mr. Tedder offered the principal the top of a desk in
-the front row. "Now, what did you expect to see when you came in here?"
-
-"The apparatus of a physics laboratory--all those gears and coils and
-tubes and ... things," Mr. Coar vaguely enumerated. "Certainly not
-a...." The principal sat heavily on the desk top, bulge-eyed. On the
-marble top of the demonstration bench was a Goldberg-esque network of
-machinery, a perfect reproduction of the principal's uncertain notions
-concerning scientific gadgetry.
-
-"How the devil did you do that, Tedder?"
-
-"People have been asking me all morning. I don't know. I don't think
-that I did do it."
-
-"Has that girl ..." Honey LaRue reappeared on the bench, and the air
-vibrated with the drums' seductive roll "... been here before?"
-
-"Yes, sir. Couple of boys in my class saw her, too."
-
-"Where are they now?"
-
-Mr. Tedder glanced up at the clock. "It's second period by now. Stetzel
-is in Latin III, I believe; and Guenther's in Microbiology II."
-
-Mr. Coar went over to the loudspeaker in the corner of the room,
-pressed a button, and spoke to his secretary, up in the school office.
-"Ann, send me students Guenther and Stetzel. Rooms 103 and 309." He
-switched the blat-box off. He turned toward the empty demonstration
-bench, wrinkled his forehead in concentration, and looked up. A pot of
-geraniums was standing on the marble bench-top.
-
-"Whew! It knows what I'm thinking about!"
-
-"Looks that way, doesn't it."
-
-"But nothing can do that. Not electricity, nor electronics, nor even
-cybernetics."
-
-"Nothing that we know about could, sir. What would you suggest that I
-do with the screwy thing?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Mr. Coar, caught off guard, made a suggestion which was more witty
-than helpful. The classroom door swung open, and Stetzel and Guenther
-hurried in together, vocally wondering at their release from schedule.
-"Good morning, Mr. Coar; Mr. Tedder. Did you want us?" Stetzel asked.
-
-"Did you see a woman in here?" the principal demanded.
-
-"Yes, sir," Guenther said. "The movie, you mean."
-
-"So you saw her, too. That rules mass hypnosis out," Mr. Coar
-illogically decided, glancing suspiciously toward the young physics
-instructor.
-
-The classroom door swung open again, admitting two teachers. Mr. Percy
-N. Formeller, known to two generations of biology students as Old
-Preserved-In-Formaldehyde, was full of indignation at the preemption
-of Guenther from his microbiology class. Miss MacIntire, Latin I-V,
-followed, equally indignant over Stetzel's defection from Marcus
-Porcius Cato.
-
-"Mr. Coar," Mr. Formeller demanded, "what is the meaning of this?
-Guenther left in the middle of a movie on _Trypanosoma gambiense_,
-disturbing my entire class. In Technicolor, too," the biology
-instructor finished, accusingly.
-
-"And how about calling Stetzel out of my class during the Third Punic
-War!" Miss MacIntire said.
-
-Mr. Coar defended himself. "We have something here which is unique,
-possibly of great value to science." Miss MacIntire sniffed. Science
-was something that students elected to take instead of Latin. "I'm
-happy that you two teachers came in. You may be able to help us throw
-some light on our problem. You took the precaution of placing your
-classes in the hands of responsible monitors, I hope?"
-
-"Of course!" Miss MacIntire snapped.
-
-"What is the nature of this 'unique something' that our Mr. Coar
-mentioned, Mr. Tedder?" Old Preserved-In-Formaldehyde spoke as one who
-seeks to calm troubled waters.
-
-"I frankly believe it to be an unearthly life-form," Mr. Tedder said.
-"Telepathic and hallucinative, by my guess, and definitely not from
-this earth."
-
-Mr. Formeller, who kept his three-year subscription to _Improbable
-Stories_ a closely-guarded secret, glanced about him for the
-extraterrestrial life-form. He shouted. There on the demonstration
-bench was a green-skinned monster, an eight-foot tall caricature of a
-Tyrantosaurus Rex, holding a nubile and light-clad young lady under
-its right foreleg. There was a "thump" beside the biology teacher
-as Miss MacIntire fainted to the floor. Stooping gallantly to pull
-his colleague back to her feet, Mr. Formeller stopped thinking of
-the telepathic, hallucinative, and green Tyrantosaurus Rex, which,
-grinning, disappeared.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Mr. Coar stared toward the empty demonstration bench, wrinkled
-his forehead in concentration, and was again rewarded by the
-pot-of-geraniums-made-manifest. "See?" he asked rhetorically. "It
-becomes anything you want it to."
-
-"Curious." Mr. Formeller glared toward the table. A small, orange
-insect appeared. The biology teacher bent over it and counted the
-spots on the orange anterior wings. "Six spots. A real _bipunctata_,
-of a common local variety, or I don't know my _Coleoptera_." An idea
-struck him, and he backed rapidly away from the bench. He turned to
-Mr. Tedder. "I wouldn't go too close to the thing, if I were you. It
-creates these things for a purpose. I believe that this hallucinative
-power, as you call it, is the logical development of protective
-coloration, mimicry, and similar devices used by earthly creatures to
-elude their enemies and to lure their prey."
-
-"You mean, this beast on the table top mimics what we're thinking about
-in hopes of drawing us close enough to seize us and eat us?" asked Miss
-MacIntire.
-
-"Roughly, yes." Mr. Formeller nodded. "We've no way of knowing the
-metabolic processes, the thought patterns, or even the true form of
-the creature. Its action in creating a pleasant picture may be as
-automatic as the _Starrkrampf reflex_, or playing 'possum, is to foxes
-and oppossums and _Leptinotarsum decemlineatae_." Mr. Formeller paused,
-hoping that his erudition was showing.
-
-Miss MacIntire, who had seated herself back at a third-row desk,
-remarked, "I do wish that the beast were a rational creature."
-
-There was a flurry in the air above the demonstration bench as a togaed
-Greek gentleman came into being. He raised a portentious index finger,
-exclaimed an involved Greek observation and disappeared.
-
-"It can talk!" Mr. Coar marveled.
-
-"It said, 'You've got an eel by the tail'." Miss MacIntire translated.
-"Greek."
-
-"Like having a bull by the horns, or an armful of greased pig," Stetzel
-commented.
-
-"If you'll excuse me," Guenther said, "it seems to me that the thing
-has some will of its own. For one thing, whatever form it takes, that
-form is not ambiguous or wavering, as an image in the mind's eye must
-be."
-
-"What's more," Stetzel continued his friend's argument, "it can say
-things that are presumably not in the mind which called it into being.
-For example, using Greek to explain itself--I hope that I'm being
-clear--shows that the creature has imaginative power, as well as the
-ability to read our minds."
-
-Percy N. Formeller hadn't been listening. Psychological investigations
-could wait until there was a good, solid foundation of physical fact on
-which to build. "I wonder if it's carnivorous?" he murmured.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Mr. Tedder nodded. He approved of Mr. Formeller's method. Strictly
-scientific. "I have some meat in my lunch," Mr. Tedder said. He walked
-carefully around the demonstration bench, staying a good five meters
-away from the potential carnivore. If the creature were a meat-eater,
-Mr. Tedder had no desire to have its feeding-habits demonstrated upon
-the person of a young physics instructor. Back in the stockroom Mr.
-Tedder opened his brown paper lunch bag, unfolded the wax paper from
-the top sandwich, and shook out a slice of pimento-loaf. He wished that
-he'd brought a less plebian lunch. Pork chops, perhaps. Oh, well. Mr.
-Tedder walked out into the classroom holding the slice of meat by one
-ketchup-moist corner.
-
-Mr. Formeller impaled the slice of pimento-loaf on a length of No. 8
-galvanized wire the physics teacher provided. Like a keeper shoving a
-flank of horse meat into a cageful of lions, the biology teacher thrust
-the baited wire into the empty air above the demonstration bench.
-
-The pimento-loaf slice disappeared.
-
-"Carnivorous," Mr. Formeller noted with satisfaction.
-
-"Do you suppose that the creature could get off the table and ... walk
-around?" Miss MacIntire hoped that her maidenly caution wouldn't be
-thought an old maid's foible.
-
-"If it were readily mobile, it wouldn't have developed so complex
-a mechanism to lure its prey," Mr. Formeller said. "Its various ...
-what's the classical word, Miss MacIntire?"
-
-"Protean."
-
-"Yes. Its protean manifestations are a clue to its habits. It is rooted
-to the spot, like a plant."
-
-"Like Venus' flytrap?" Guenther suggested.
-
-"Yes," the biology teacher approved. "_Dionaea muscipula_ is a cogent
-example of the sort of plant I'm talking about. By the way, don't you
-think we ought to name this thing? We've been calling it 'creature' and
-'monster' and all sorts of things. Most unscientific."
-
-"We might call it _Rete proteanus_," Miss MacIntire suggested from her
-third-row seat. "A 'many-formed trap', you know."
-
-"No, we want a name which suggests its origin as well as its habits."
-
-"It's not of this world, nor of the known solar system," Mr. Tedder
-commented.
-
-"That's it. It's an extra-solar; no, an extra-galactic
-being-of-many-forms."
-
-"_Polymorph metagalacticus_," Miss MacIntire said. "Not an inspired
-name, but it will do, it will suffice."
-
-Mr. Coar stared at the empty space between the telegraph key and the
-bank of lithium-reaction cells. His pot of geraniums appeared again,
-then the scarlet flowers wavered, faded, and became gold-and-purple
-pansies. "Polymorph it is," the principal said. His air was that of a
-bishop conferring imprimatur upon a lay brother's interpretation of a
-Gospel passage.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The pot of pansies disappeared, giving way to Honey LaRue. The
-snare-drums swished and chattered, and Honey, who'd rid herself of a
-good deal more than her gloves, winked knowingly at Miss MacIntire.
-Spotting Stetzel, Honey propelled her pelvis several centimeters
-in a horizontal direction, a movement known to the trade as the
-"bump." The Latin teacher uttered an unclassical yelp of outraged
-modesty and averted her head. Stetzel grew pink to his ear-tips. This
-extra-galactic polymorph had no tact at all! Honey disappeared with a
-regretful shrug, and the lascivious drum-rolls ceased.
-
-"This sort of thing could become dangerous," Mr. Tedder commented.
-
-"What can we do with it?" Mr. Coar asked. "It wouldn't do to put a cage
-around it. It can't move any more than a ... geranium plant can. And
-what will we feed it?"
-
-"Pimento-loaf," the physics instructor suggested.
-
-"Think of the value this thing can have!" Stetzel enthused.
-"Psychiatrists can see the morbid mind-images of their disturbed
-patients, the paranoics and the like, and devise techniques of cure."
-
-"By studying the metabolism of this polymorph, we can deduce the
-physical conditions of the world it came from," Mr. Formeller
-observed, a glint of the hunter-instinct in his eyes.
-
-"We might even ask it questions about the world it came from!" Guenther
-said. "Maybe it would show its real form to us, and talk or think to
-us. It's already shown a lot of initiative, you know."
-
-Miss MacIntire, who'd recovered from the shock of Honey LaRue, spoke
-up. "We've got an eel by the tail, as it said. We can't handle it,
-and we can't let it go. We'll have to call in experts in zoology and
-physics...." Mr. Formeller exchanged outraged glances with Mr. Tedder
-"... and have them study the polymorph with the best instruments
-available."
-
-"All this is very well," Mr. Formeller said, "but what I'd like to know
-is how this Polymorph got into your classroom, Tedder."
-
-Mr. Tedder cautiously stepped up to the demonstration bench and took
-the knob of the telegraph key in his fingers. "This was the switch in a
-Ziegler's effect apparatus I'd set up for demonstration. I just tapped
-it, like this...." Mr. Tedder slapped the key down.
-
-There was a glare of sudden greenness, and the air popped like a broken
-vacuum tube as it rushed in to occupy space suddenly vacated.
-
-The Extra-Galactic Polymorph was gone. Mr. Coar wrinkled his brow
-and thought furiously of geranium-plants-in-pots, to no avail. Miss
-MacIntire thought wistfully of the handsome Greek gentleman who'd
-addressed her with an obscure quotation. Mr. Tedder, Stetzel, and
-Guenther bent their combined brains to steady consideration of Miss
-Honey LaRue, and for a moment they thought they heard the lustful
-bellow of a supernal saxophone. But Honey stayed away.
-
-"If we'd only taken photographs!" Mr. Formeller wailed. "Maybe the
-things we saw, we saw only in our minds. The polymorph's real form
-would have registered on film."
-
-"Maybe if Mr. Tedder would duplicate that apparatus of his, and...."
-Miss MacIntire paused uncertainly. The arcana of physics were as
-unknown to her as was the Greek ablative to Mr. Tedder. "Well, do the
-same thing that you did before. Maybe he'll come back."
-
-"No." Mr. Tedder was glum. "It won't be back. When you think that
-all objects are constantly changing in space and time, you see how
-wonderful it is that anything ever gets anywhere. The Extra-Galactic
-Polymorph won't be back. Its appearance was an accident; a huge,
-incredible, once-in-all-history coincidence."
-
- * * * * *
-
-_On the twenty-third planet of a sun of a galaxy that lay beyond the
-ken of even the two-hundred-inch mirror of Palomar and the giant
-refractors of Luna; a planet the name of which cannot be expressed in
-human phonetics, a Young Being in the early stages of pre-maturity
-chortled with its Id. Its teacher was back! Swiftly, the youngster
-threw aside the messy slice of pimento-loaf that was draped across the
-silver cube and commanded, "Zzzrf me a Klompfr!" A Klompfr appeared,
-and the Young Being spilled its delight out into the minds of its
-elders._
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN EEL BY THE TAIL ***
-
-Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will
-be renamed.
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-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of An Eel by the Tail, by Allen K. Lang</div>
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-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
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-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: An Eel by the Tail</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Allen K. Lang</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: April 21, 2021 [eBook #65126]</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div>
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-<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</div>
-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN EEL BY THE TAIL ***</div>
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<h1>AN EEL BY THE TAIL</h1>
-
-<h2>By Allen K. Lang</h2>
-
-<p>Mr. Tedder was quite sure that a strip tease<br />
-dancer had no place in his physics classroom. But<br />
-what bothered him more was how she got there!</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br />
-April 1951<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>The strip teaser materialized in the first period physics class at
-Terre Haute's Technical High School.</p>
-
-<p>It all happened just because Mr. Tedder was fresh out of college,
-and anxious to make good in his first teaching job. He'd been given
-Physics II, a tough class for a new teacher. His pupils, a set of
-hardened II-A boys, were sure of themselves and so were the few girls
-in the class. It was with hopes of shaking that assurance that Mr.
-Tedder had spent a month of after-school hours studying an article on
-Ziegler's effect. He also hoped, but with less faith than wistfulness,
-that a demonstration of Ziegler's effect might shock his class into
-staying awake. Above all, Mr. Tedder felt that his Junior boys might
-be considerably edified by an electrical phenomenon that was not yet
-understood by the best physical theorists of three planets.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tedder wanted to give his class a good show. So, with more feeling
-for dramatic effect than for scientific good sense, he'd wound the
-three solenoids with heavy insulated silver wire rather than with the
-light copper wire Ziegler had reported using. On the theory that, if he
-were to demonstrate the Ziegler effect it would be best to demonstrate
-a whole lot of it, Mr. Tedder contrived a battery of the new
-lithium-reaction cells. The direct current from this powerful battery
-was transformed by an antique, but workable, automotive spark coil.</p>
-
-<p>The bell rang as usual that morning, marking the beginning of the first
-class. Twenty pupils filed into the physics classroom and took their
-seats. Eighteen of them slumped down in an attitude which suggested
-that, although they were prepared to accept stoically the hour's
-ordeal, they weren't going to allow themselves to be taught anything.
-After all, Tech had lost last night's game to Walbash: what physical
-phenomenon could hope to shake off that grim memory? There was a
-shuffling of papers as the boys in the back seats pulled comic books
-from their notebooks. Guenther and Stetzel, sitting up front, pulled
-sheets of paper from notepads and headed them, "The Ziegler Effect."</p>
-
-<p>The classroom settled into an uneasy silence. Mr. Tedder waved an
-instructive hand toward the apparatus set up on the marble top of the
-demonstration bench. "As you can see, I have a set of three solenoids,
-or coils of insulated wire, connected to a source of alternating
-current. A sudden surge of this current through the outermost solenoid
-will give an iron-cerium alloy bar placed at the center of the
-apparatus an impetus toward horizontal motion." Stetzel and Guenther,
-who were conscientious, took rapid notes. The rest of the class was
-divided between those students who were surreptitiously catching up
-on the adventures of "<i>The Rocket Patrol</i>" and those who were quietly
-sinking into sleep.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Mr. Tedder continued. "The alloy bar's initial movement will be
-frustrated, as it were, by the action of a second solenoid placed
-within and at right angles to the first. A third coil, within and at
-right angles to each of the outer two, completes the process. The
-winding ratios of the three solenoids are 476:9:34." Stetzel and
-Guenther scribbled the numbers rapidly; Ned Norcross, in the back row,
-stirred in his sleep, and two members of the Class of '95 who shared a
-volume of the Rocket Patrol's exploits agreed to turn the page.</p>
-
-<p>"What happens to the bar of iron-cerium at this point is a matter
-of conjecture. All observers are agreed only in that it disappears.
-Perhaps it leaves the coils so rapidly that it neither injures the
-wires nor can it be seen. Perhaps the bar passes through a temporary
-fissure in the three-dimensional system we perceive, falling into some
-yet-unconceivable other dimension. Doctor Ziegler, who first observed
-this effect, inclines to this latter belief." Mr. Tedder placed his
-fingers on the telegraph key he'd rigged up to close the circuit
-through his apparatus. "Watch closely," he cautioned, tapping down on
-the key.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><i>On the twenty-third planet at a distant sun&mdash;a planet called by
-its inhabitants a name for which there are no equivalents in human
-phonetics&mdash;a Young Being in the early stages of pre-maturity tangled
-the minds of his elders with feelings of anguish. His teacher had
-disappeared!</i></p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Ned Norcross, who was taking Junior Physics II for the third time,
-had his mind on neither the Ziegler Effect nor the tragic results of
-last night's basketball game. He was slumped at his desk, dreamily
-rehearsing the topography of one Honey LaRue, a strip teaser who
-nightly practiced her art at the Club Innuendo. Norcross pried himself
-up on one elbow to glance toward the clock above the demonstration
-bench, then slumped forward on his desk in a faint. Up on the marble
-top of the demonstration bench, pulling off a right silk glove in time
-to the lazy ripple of a snare-drum, danced Honey LaRue.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/>
- <div class="caption">
- <p>Mr. Tedder felt an embarrassed flush coloring his cheeks as the figure of the girl undulated before his eyes....</p>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Mr. Tedder yelped, and immediately regretted it. He'd had two beers
-three days before; could that bring on hallucination at this late date?
-But Honey had gone, taking the Ziegler coils with her. One terminal of
-the telegraph key was still connected to the plate on the spark coil,
-the other wire ended in a little knot of fused silver. No, this wasn't
-the effect that Doctor Ziegler had reported, not at all!</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>To cover his confusion Mr. Tedder began to talk. "There, you've
-just seen the Ziegler effect in action. Explain what you've just
-seen and you'll be famous among men." Indeed, the cerium-iron
-alloy bar had disappeared; but so had 20,000 cm. of No. 40 silver
-wire, silk-insulated. But the boys&mdash;except, of course, Stetzel and
-Guenther&mdash;hadn't noticed. Mr. Tedder glanced over his shoulder to the
-clock, saw that it would be fifteen minutes before the class would
-end, and made a quick decision in the interest of his sanity. "Class
-dismissed!" he said.</p>
-
-<p>There was a stupefied second while the news soaked into dormant nervous
-systems. Then the boys were shouting across the room, grabbing up
-books, and hurrying out into the hall to take noisy advantage of their
-moment of freedom. Stetzel and Guenther, as behooved the top pupils of
-the Class of '95, hurried up to Mr. Tedder to check their notes.</p>
-
-<p>"The symbol for cerium is 'Ce,' isn't it?" Stetzel asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes. But now...."</p>
-
-<p>"How did you do that, Mr. Tedder?" Guenther interrupted.</p>
-
-<p>"Do what?" Mr. Tedder glanced suspiciously at Guenther. Perhaps it
-hadn't been those two beers.</p>
-
-<p>"You had a woman dancing, right up where those solenoids were,"
-Guenther said.</p>
-
-<p>"That's what I saw," Stetzel substantiated. "What a movie! She sure
-looked three-dimensional to me. Wow!"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes," Mr. Tedder said, canceling his decision of a moment before, to
-lay off beer. "That was just a little stunt I thought up to see how
-many of you were paying attention. New optical principle, you know. Now
-if you'll excuse me, I've got to get things ready for the next class.
-And wake up Norcross on your way out, will you?"</p>
-
-<p>Stetzel jarred Norcross from unconsciousness and walked out into the
-hall, talking and gesturing significantly with Guenther. Norcross
-unfolded himself slowly, glanced with a furtive eye toward Mr. Tedder
-and the empty bench-top, and walked rapidly out of the room, down the
-stairs, and into the school physician's office.</p>
-
-<p>Alone, Mr. Tedder frowned at the bereft lithium battery and telegraph
-key. He had pressed the key, closing the circuit, and there'd been a
-spurt of flame. A strange girl had appeared, dancing on the marble top
-of the demonstration bench. He'd never seen the woman before; a tall
-blonde wearing very little.... What the devil! There she was again.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Coar, principal of Tech, walked toward the door to the physics
-classroom, rehearsing the speech he was going to deliver upon Tedder.
-"Young man, Tech does not approve of the practice of letting students
-out into the halls before the end of the period. Their racket has
-shaken the walls of classrooms on three floors. What have you to say
-for yourself, Mr. Tedder?" Yes, that would do nicely. Mr. Coar opened
-the door.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Mr. Tedder was leaning against a front-row desk, nodding appreciatively
-as a sketchily-clad young lady danced for him. "TEDDER!" the principal
-bellowed. "Stop that!"</p>
-
-<p>Honey LaRue faded, and the space between telegraph key and lithium
-battery was empty again.</p>
-
-<p>"Stop what?" Mr. Tedder inquired, wide-eyed with innocence.</p>
-
-<p>"Stop letting your classes out early so that you can spend your time
-gloating over your ... your ..." Mr. Coar groped for a stinging
-adjective, drew a blank, and concluded weakly, "... your movies!"</p>
-
-<p>"Did you see her, too?"</p>
-
-<p>"I did, indeed. You came here highly recommended by Indiana University,
-Tedder; and, frankly, I didn't expect this sort of thing from you."</p>
-
-<p>"Mr. Coar, I believe that I've stumbled across a novel physical
-phenomenon."</p>
-
-<p>"Anatomy was being studied in 1600 A.D., young man," Mr. Coar observed,
-his voice dripping sarcasm, "and is scarcely any longer a 'novel
-physical phenomenon'."</p>
-
-<p>"Sit down, sir." Mr. Tedder offered the principal the top of a desk in
-the front row. "Now, what did you expect to see when you came in here?"</p>
-
-<p>"The apparatus of a physics laboratory&mdash;all those gears and coils and
-tubes and ... things," Mr. Coar vaguely enumerated. "Certainly not
-a...." The principal sat heavily on the desk top, bulge-eyed. On the
-marble top of the demonstration bench was a Goldberg-esque network of
-machinery, a perfect reproduction of the principal's uncertain notions
-concerning scientific gadgetry.</p>
-
-<p>"How the devil did you do that, Tedder?"</p>
-
-<p>"People have been asking me all morning. I don't know. I don't think
-that I did do it."</p>
-
-<p>"Has that girl ..." Honey LaRue reappeared on the bench, and the air
-vibrated with the drums' seductive roll "... been here before?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir. Couple of boys in my class saw her, too."</p>
-
-<p>"Where are they now?"</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tedder glanced up at the clock. "It's second period by now. Stetzel
-is in Latin III, I believe; and Guenther's in Microbiology II."</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Coar went over to the loudspeaker in the corner of the room,
-pressed a button, and spoke to his secretary, up in the school office.
-"Ann, send me students Guenther and Stetzel. Rooms 103 and 309." He
-switched the blat-box off. He turned toward the empty demonstration
-bench, wrinkled his forehead in concentration, and looked up. A pot of
-geraniums was standing on the marble bench-top.</p>
-
-<p>"Whew! It knows what I'm thinking about!"</p>
-
-<p>"Looks that way, doesn't it."</p>
-
-<p>"But nothing can do that. Not electricity, nor electronics, nor even
-cybernetics."</p>
-
-<p>"Nothing that we know about could, sir. What would you suggest that I
-do with the screwy thing?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Mr. Coar, caught off guard, made a suggestion which was more witty
-than helpful. The classroom door swung open, and Stetzel and Guenther
-hurried in together, vocally wondering at their release from schedule.
-"Good morning, Mr. Coar; Mr. Tedder. Did you want us?" Stetzel asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Did you see a woman in here?" the principal demanded.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir," Guenther said. "The movie, you mean."</p>
-
-<p>"So you saw her, too. That rules mass hypnosis out," Mr. Coar
-illogically decided, glancing suspiciously toward the young physics
-instructor.</p>
-
-<p>The classroom door swung open again, admitting two teachers. Mr. Percy
-N. Formeller, known to two generations of biology students as Old
-Preserved-In-Formaldehyde, was full of indignation at the preemption
-of Guenther from his microbiology class. Miss MacIntire, Latin I-V,
-followed, equally indignant over Stetzel's defection from Marcus
-Porcius Cato.</p>
-
-<p>"Mr. Coar," Mr. Formeller demanded, "what is the meaning of this?
-Guenther left in the middle of a movie on <i>Trypanosoma gambiense</i>,
-disturbing my entire class. In Technicolor, too," the biology
-instructor finished, accusingly.</p>
-
-<p>"And how about calling Stetzel out of my class during the Third Punic
-War!" Miss MacIntire said.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Coar defended himself. "We have something here which is unique,
-possibly of great value to science." Miss MacIntire sniffed. Science
-was something that students elected to take instead of Latin. "I'm
-happy that you two teachers came in. You may be able to help us throw
-some light on our problem. You took the precaution of placing your
-classes in the hands of responsible monitors, I hope?"</p>
-
-<p>"Of course!" Miss MacIntire snapped.</p>
-
-<p>"What is the nature of this 'unique something' that our Mr. Coar
-mentioned, Mr. Tedder?" Old Preserved-In-Formaldehyde spoke as one who
-seeks to calm troubled waters.</p>
-
-<p>"I frankly believe it to be an unearthly life-form," Mr. Tedder said.
-"Telepathic and hallucinative, by my guess, and definitely not from
-this earth."</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Formeller, who kept his three-year subscription to <i>Improbable
-Stories</i> a closely-guarded secret, glanced about him for the
-extraterrestrial life-form. He shouted. There on the demonstration
-bench was a green-skinned monster, an eight-foot tall caricature of a
-Tyrantosaurus Rex, holding a nubile and light-clad young lady under
-its right foreleg. There was a "thump" beside the biology teacher
-as Miss MacIntire fainted to the floor. Stooping gallantly to pull
-his colleague back to her feet, Mr. Formeller stopped thinking of
-the telepathic, hallucinative, and green Tyrantosaurus Rex, which,
-grinning, disappeared.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Mr. Coar stared toward the empty demonstration bench, wrinkled
-his forehead in concentration, and was again rewarded by the
-pot-of-geraniums-made-manifest. "See?" he asked rhetorically. "It
-becomes anything you want it to."</p>
-
-<p>"Curious." Mr. Formeller glared toward the table. A small, orange
-insect appeared. The biology teacher bent over it and counted the
-spots on the orange anterior wings. "Six spots. A real <i>bipunctata</i>,
-of a common local variety, or I don't know my <i>Coleoptera</i>." An idea
-struck him, and he backed rapidly away from the bench. He turned to
-Mr. Tedder. "I wouldn't go too close to the thing, if I were you. It
-creates these things for a purpose. I believe that this hallucinative
-power, as you call it, is the logical development of protective
-coloration, mimicry, and similar devices used by earthly creatures to
-elude their enemies and to lure their prey."</p>
-
-<p>"You mean, this beast on the table top mimics what we're thinking about
-in hopes of drawing us close enough to seize us and eat us?" asked Miss
-MacIntire.</p>
-
-<p>"Roughly, yes." Mr. Formeller nodded. "We've no way of knowing the
-metabolic processes, the thought patterns, or even the true form of
-the creature. Its action in creating a pleasant picture may be as
-automatic as the <i>Starrkrampf reflex</i>, or playing 'possum, is to foxes
-and oppossums and <i>Leptinotarsum decemlineatae</i>." Mr. Formeller paused,
-hoping that his erudition was showing.</p>
-
-<p>Miss MacIntire, who had seated herself back at a third-row desk,
-remarked, "I do wish that the beast were a rational creature."</p>
-
-<p>There was a flurry in the air above the demonstration bench as a togaed
-Greek gentleman came into being. He raised a portentious index finger,
-exclaimed an involved Greek observation and disappeared.</p>
-
-<p>"It can talk!" Mr. Coar marveled.</p>
-
-<p>"It said, 'You've got an eel by the tail'." Miss MacIntire translated.
-"Greek."</p>
-
-<p>"Like having a bull by the horns, or an armful of greased pig," Stetzel
-commented.</p>
-
-<p>"If you'll excuse me," Guenther said, "it seems to me that the thing
-has some will of its own. For one thing, whatever form it takes, that
-form is not ambiguous or wavering, as an image in the mind's eye must
-be."</p>
-
-<p>"What's more," Stetzel continued his friend's argument, "it can say
-things that are presumably not in the mind which called it into being.
-For example, using Greek to explain itself&mdash;I hope that I'm being
-clear&mdash;shows that the creature has imaginative power, as well as the
-ability to read our minds."</p>
-
-<p>Percy N. Formeller hadn't been listening. Psychological investigations
-could wait until there was a good, solid foundation of physical fact on
-which to build. "I wonder if it's carnivorous?" he murmured.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Mr. Tedder nodded. He approved of Mr. Formeller's method. Strictly
-scientific. "I have some meat in my lunch," Mr. Tedder said. He walked
-carefully around the demonstration bench, staying a good five meters
-away from the potential carnivore. If the creature were a meat-eater,
-Mr. Tedder had no desire to have its feeding-habits demonstrated upon
-the person of a young physics instructor. Back in the stockroom Mr.
-Tedder opened his brown paper lunch bag, unfolded the wax paper from
-the top sandwich, and shook out a slice of pimento-loaf. He wished that
-he'd brought a less plebian lunch. Pork chops, perhaps. Oh, well. Mr.
-Tedder walked out into the classroom holding the slice of meat by one
-ketchup-moist corner.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Formeller impaled the slice of pimento-loaf on a length of No. 8
-galvanized wire the physics teacher provided. Like a keeper shoving a
-flank of horse meat into a cageful of lions, the biology teacher thrust
-the baited wire into the empty air above the demonstration bench.</p>
-
-<p>The pimento-loaf slice disappeared.</p>
-
-<p>"Carnivorous," Mr. Formeller noted with satisfaction.</p>
-
-<p>"Do you suppose that the creature could get off the table and ... walk
-around?" Miss MacIntire hoped that her maidenly caution wouldn't be
-thought an old maid's foible.</p>
-
-<p>"If it were readily mobile, it wouldn't have developed so complex
-a mechanism to lure its prey," Mr. Formeller said. "Its various ...
-what's the classical word, Miss MacIntire?"</p>
-
-<p>"Protean."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes. Its protean manifestations are a clue to its habits. It is rooted
-to the spot, like a plant."</p>
-
-<p>"Like Venus' flytrap?" Guenther suggested.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes," the biology teacher approved. "<i>Dionaea muscipula</i> is a cogent
-example of the sort of plant I'm talking about. By the way, don't you
-think we ought to name this thing? We've been calling it 'creature' and
-'monster' and all sorts of things. Most unscientific."</p>
-
-<p>"We might call it <i>Rete proteanus</i>," Miss MacIntire suggested from her
-third-row seat. "A 'many-formed trap', you know."</p>
-
-<p>"No, we want a name which suggests its origin as well as its habits."</p>
-
-<p>"It's not of this world, nor of the known solar system," Mr. Tedder
-commented.</p>
-
-<p>"That's it. It's an extra-solar; no, an extra-galactic
-being-of-many-forms."</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Polymorph metagalacticus</i>," Miss MacIntire said. "Not an inspired
-name, but it will do, it will suffice."</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Coar stared at the empty space between the telegraph key and the
-bank of lithium-reaction cells. His pot of geraniums appeared again,
-then the scarlet flowers wavered, faded, and became gold-and-purple
-pansies. "Polymorph it is," the principal said. His air was that of a
-bishop conferring imprimatur upon a lay brother's interpretation of a
-Gospel passage.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The pot of pansies disappeared, giving way to Honey LaRue. The
-snare-drums swished and chattered, and Honey, who'd rid herself of a
-good deal more than her gloves, winked knowingly at Miss MacIntire.
-Spotting Stetzel, Honey propelled her pelvis several centimeters
-in a horizontal direction, a movement known to the trade as the
-"bump." The Latin teacher uttered an unclassical yelp of outraged
-modesty and averted her head. Stetzel grew pink to his ear-tips. This
-extra-galactic polymorph had no tact at all! Honey disappeared with a
-regretful shrug, and the lascivious drum-rolls ceased.</p>
-
-<p>"This sort of thing could become dangerous," Mr. Tedder commented.</p>
-
-<p>"What can we do with it?" Mr. Coar asked. "It wouldn't do to put a cage
-around it. It can't move any more than a ... geranium plant can. And
-what will we feed it?"</p>
-
-<p>"Pimento-loaf," the physics instructor suggested.</p>
-
-<p>"Think of the value this thing can have!" Stetzel enthused.
-"Psychiatrists can see the morbid mind-images of their disturbed
-patients, the paranoics and the like, and devise techniques of cure."</p>
-
-<p>"By studying the metabolism of this polymorph, we can deduce the
-physical conditions of the world it came from," Mr. Formeller
-observed, a glint of the hunter-instinct in his eyes.</p>
-
-<p>"We might even ask it questions about the world it came from!" Guenther
-said. "Maybe it would show its real form to us, and talk or think to
-us. It's already shown a lot of initiative, you know."</p>
-
-<p>Miss MacIntire, who'd recovered from the shock of Honey LaRue, spoke
-up. "We've got an eel by the tail, as it said. We can't handle it,
-and we can't let it go. We'll have to call in experts in zoology and
-physics...." Mr. Formeller exchanged outraged glances with Mr. Tedder
-"... and have them study the polymorph with the best instruments
-available."</p>
-
-<p>"All this is very well," Mr. Formeller said, "but what I'd like to know
-is how this Polymorph got into your classroom, Tedder."</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Tedder cautiously stepped up to the demonstration bench and took
-the knob of the telegraph key in his fingers. "This was the switch in a
-Ziegler's effect apparatus I'd set up for demonstration. I just tapped
-it, like this...." Mr. Tedder slapped the key down.</p>
-
-<p>There was a glare of sudden greenness, and the air popped like a broken
-vacuum tube as it rushed in to occupy space suddenly vacated.</p>
-
-<p>The Extra-Galactic Polymorph was gone. Mr. Coar wrinkled his brow
-and thought furiously of geranium-plants-in-pots, to no avail. Miss
-MacIntire thought wistfully of the handsome Greek gentleman who'd
-addressed her with an obscure quotation. Mr. Tedder, Stetzel, and
-Guenther bent their combined brains to steady consideration of Miss
-Honey LaRue, and for a moment they thought they heard the lustful
-bellow of a supernal saxophone. But Honey stayed away.</p>
-
-<p>"If we'd only taken photographs!" Mr. Formeller wailed. "Maybe the
-things we saw, we saw only in our minds. The polymorph's real form
-would have registered on film."</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe if Mr. Tedder would duplicate that apparatus of his, and...."
-Miss MacIntire paused uncertainly. The arcana of physics were as
-unknown to her as was the Greek ablative to Mr. Tedder. "Well, do the
-same thing that you did before. Maybe he'll come back."</p>
-
-<p>"No." Mr. Tedder was glum. "It won't be back. When you think that
-all objects are constantly changing in space and time, you see how
-wonderful it is that anything ever gets anywhere. The Extra-Galactic
-Polymorph won't be back. Its appearance was an accident; a huge,
-incredible, once-in-all-history coincidence."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><i>On the twenty-third planet of a sun of a galaxy that lay beyond the
-ken of even the two-hundred-inch mirror of Palomar and the giant
-refractors of Luna; a planet the name of which cannot be expressed in
-human phonetics, a Young Being in the early stages of pre-maturity
-chortled with its Id. Its teacher was back! Swiftly, the youngster
-threw aside the messy slice of pimento-loaf that was draped across the
-silver cube and commanded, "Zzzrf me a Klompfr!" A Klompfr appeared,
-and the Young Being spilled its delight out into the minds of its
-elders.</i></p>
-
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