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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b538797 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #65113 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65113) diff --git a/old/65113-0.txt b/old/65113-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 0524707..0000000 --- a/old/65113-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3799 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Vengeance of Toffee, by Charles F. Myers - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: The Vengeance of Toffee - -Author: Charles F. Myers - -Release Date: April 19, 2021 [eBook #65113] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE VENGEANCE OF TOFFEE *** - - - - - THE VENGEANCE OF TOFFEE - - By Charles F. Myers - - The world was on the brink of atomic war and - nothing, it seemed, could prevent it. But - Toffee had a plan--and a little magic to boot! - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy - February 1951 - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -The bombs ticked--in remote places--behind locked and guarded doors. -The bombs ticked, and the terrible sound was distinct in the farthest -corners of the world--wherever a man picked up a newspaper, turned on a -radio--or paused to listen to the beating of his own heart. A Bomb ... -H Bomb ... X Bomb--the bombs ticked louder and louder with the growing -hours--and each man dwelt alone now with the dark spectre of his own -trembling fear. - -"_Yesterday we perfected a new kind of totalitarian death...._" (It -was difficult to remember the pleasant, relaxed voice which had once -given the announcer his popularity, for now it seemed that his breath -passed over taut nerves rather than vocal cords. But no one noticed; it -was only what he said that mattered now, not how he said it. Fear fed -on fear with an avid, indiscriminate appetite--and flourished from the -diet.) - -"_Today we can only be certain that the foreign powers will have caught -up with us within the next few hours._ - -"_Can you remember the Atomic Age, ladies and gentlemen? How long ago -that was! And yet how swiftly we have progressed from that to the Age -of Human Terror._ - -"_The X Bomb--the incomprehensible unit of power and destruction which -dwarfs the human soul and reduces it to a negligible fraction of -quivering fright--just one small fraction contributing to the monstrous -organism of terror which has lately become our modern civilization. -How wretched we are to be living in a civilization in which the word -'city' has been rendered obsolete by the word 'target.' The New York -Target ... the Chicago Target ... the Salt Lake and San Francisco -Targets. How wretched we are._ - -"_And is it strange that these targets which were once cities are being -deserted? Is it strange that men have begun to run from the bombs even -before they have begun to fall? That is the nature of terror._ - -"_For the first time in its history the nation looks upon a -nomadic society--largely that group of the working people who have -ceased working to wander aimlessly, seeking safety within our own -borders--living by thievery and lawlessness. Crime has increased so -rapidly of late that a comparative estimate is impossible. That, too, -is the nature of terror._ - -"_Today the government would force these erstwhile workers back to -the hearts of the targets--force them by law back to the factories to -engage again in the production of death and destruction._ - -"_'Necessary,' the statesmen say. 'Necessary to national safety.' But -with the statesmen's words comes the obvious question: Is there still -any national safety left for any nation? Does it exist anywhere, to be -preserved? Haven't the fleeing nomads asked themselves this question -already, turning their frightened eyes to the unprotecting skies?_ - -"_But the statesman must speak--and he must speak logic, even now -when logic has deserted us, and words can no longer save us. Every -man--statesman or otherwise--knows that it is no longer a question of -whether the bombs will drop--but when they will drop--and who will drop -them--we or they?_ - -"_It is true that no nation has declared war, but terror declares its -own war. Can we wait another day to take the initiative? Can they? The -undeclared enemy may destroy us tomorrow--or tonight--even within the -next few minutes. I may not live to finish this broadcast--and you may -not live to hear it...._" - - * * * * * - -Suddenly there was a sharp click, and the voice stopped, silenced as -effectively as though a wire had been knotted about the speaker's -throat. Marc Pillsworth, startled at the sudden silence, snapped -forward in his chair and looked up. Julie, the lamp light slanting -sharply across her face, glared down at him with tense irritation. She -removed her hand significantly from the radio switch. - -"I'm telling you, Marcus Pillsworth," she said menacingly, "I can't -stand any more of it. If you turn on that bloody instrument again--if -you so much as twitch your bony finger in its direction--one of us is -going to die of unnatural causes, and you may have read that the female -is notoriously more long-lived than the male." - -Marc stared at her incredulously through the chill dimness of the -living room. Then he sighed heavily. This also was the nature of human -terror: every man was married to a shrew these days. Women simply -weren't up to it. - -But Julie had been better than most--until now. He looked at the -tightly drawn lips, the circled eyes and tried to remember his wife's -cool blonde beauty as it had been only a month ago. The contrast was -disquieting. Well, these were harrowing times for her. - -But they were just as harrowing for everyone else--for him. She ought -to realize that. Suddenly, unaccountably, Marc felt his self-control -slipping away from him with all the sleazy inevitability of a pair of -silk shorts with rotten elastic. Suddenly the distorted face across the -room was not at all the face of his wife, but the face of a vindictive -stranger who had invaded his rights and his privacy with definite -malice in mind. Reason left him, and, with a black sucking feeling in -the pit of his stomach, he felt the last measure of his reserve trickle -down the drain. Gripping the arms of his chair, he jutted his face out -into the light and deliberately leered. - -"With the world coming down around our ears," he snarled, "I suppose -you expect me to sit here complacently simpering and snickering and -snapping my gum like an addled adolescent? Don't you care that we may -all go to blazes in the next few minutes?" - -"No!" Julie screamed, fitting a direct answer to a direct question. -"No, I don't care. I'm tired of caring. I'm tired through with caring. -And I'm tired of you sitting there with those great elephantine ears of -yours hinged to that radio. You've been at it day in, day out, day in, -day out, day in...!" - -"Stop repeating yourself like some idiot tropical bird," Marc snapped. - -"Why don't you ever go down to the office any more?" Julie asked with -womanly logic. "Why don't you get out of here and leave me alone?" - - * * * * * - -In heavy martyrdom Marc lifted his eyes to the ceiling. What was the -use? Why go through it all again? He'd explained to her a million -times that he no longer had any _reason_ to go to the office. The -advertising business had been one of the first to suffer. Who cared -what the advertising industry had to say at a time like this? Who -wanted to be beautiful or healthy or envied when there wasn't any -future in it? - -"Turn the radio on," he said steadily. - -Julie's eyes actually sparked flame. "_What?_ Do you really have the -grassy green gall to ask me to turn that thing on again? I don't -believe my ears!" - -"I'm not asking," Marc said slowly, "I'm _instructing_ you to." - -"Hah!" Julie snorted to some invisible spectator. "Listen to him!" She -eyed him nastily. "Ask me to shinny up the doorsill and do a swan dive -into my cocktail. I'll do that sooner." - -Marc met her gaze for a moment and momentarily declined the challenge. -"I suppose you just want to sit here and never know what hit you?" - -"Exactly," Julie said. "For heaven's sake what does it matter what hits -us after we're dead? At least I don't want to sit here chewing my nails -while some morbid-minded deficient drives me into a state of complete -nervous collapse." - -Marc disengaged himself from his chair. She had a point there, though -he'd rot before he admitted it. With considerable unconcern he moseyed -across the room and glanced out the window. Then he stopped and leaned -closer to the pane. Across the street the world was already ablaze. The -night sky glowed red with flame. - -"My God!" he cried. "The Fredericks are on fire!" - -Julie moved to his side and stared out the window. - -"Who are those people?" she asked. "The ones sitting on the lawn there?" - -Marc directed his gaze to the right. He should have seen them sooner, -except that one's sense of logic, when one is witnessing a fire, does -not readily encompass a group of people lounging on blankets in the -glowing radiance--especially when those people are concerned more with -food, drink and cards than with the fire--and more especially when the -owners of the flaming dwelling are prominent among those present.... - -"Aren't those the Fredericks?" Julie asked. - -"Do you suppose they've noticed the house?" Marc asked. "But I suppose -they must." - -"Maybe not," Julie said. "They've been drunk for days. It started out -as a house warming party. Do you suppose this is their idea of a joke?" - - * * * * * - -Marc turned away. "The papers are full of this sort of thing. The -anxiety has driven people mad." Then suddenly he stiffened. "Maybe -they've heard something! Maybe they've decided to burn their home -rather than let the enemy do it for them." He ran to the radio and -snapped the switch. - -"_Beside every man stalks the black shadow of doom...!_" the announcer -groaned. - -At the window Julie instantly snapped to a position of rigid erectness. -With cold fury she turned and regarded Marc's lank figure bent -attentively to the radio speaker. Her eyes rested on her husband's -impassive posterior, and glittering, unbridled madness flickered in -their depths. - -"_When will the attack fall?_" the announcer inquired, and Julie -answered him without hesitation. "Now, brother," she murmured. "Right -now!" - -Unaware of the declaration of hostilities from the rear, Marc hung on -the words of the announcer: "_We can only brace ourselves and hope...._" - -It was a pity he did not have the foresight--or perhaps hindsight--to -follow the announcer's advice. In the next moment Julie's foot, -propelled so as to accomplish the same work as an iron sledge, -completed an arc that terminated in what might crudely be called a -bull's eye. - -With a scream of mortal agony, Marc started forward, and jutted his -head forthwith into the speaker of the radio. There was a dreadful -splintering sound, and then with a squeal, not unlike Marc's, the -announcer fell silent. - -Marc was unaware of this latter development; both his soul and body -were too consumed with throbbing pain to be concerned any longer with -such trivialities as the X Bomb and the demise of the world. The world -could go to hell in beach sandals and it would be as nothing to the -awful thing which had befallen him. Thrusting his hands forcibly to the -seat of his anguish, he dislodged his head from the radio and regarded -Julie from a crouching position. Clutching himself in a most unmindful -way he stared up at his mate with almost animal loathing. - -"What a rotten thing to do!" he rasped. "And what a fiendish place to -do it! You ... you're ... you're _inhuman_!" - -Julie laughed evilly. "I warned you, you reptile! I told you I couldn't -stand any more!" - - * * * * * - -Marc grimaced as a new wave of pain surged upward through his body. "I -just hope you're proud, waiting until a man's got his back turned and -then kicking him in the...!" - -"There's no need to be crude about it," Julie cut in quickly. - -"That's funny, that is!" Marc snapped, baring his teeth. "_Me_--crude! -What about you? I suppose you've been the perfect little lady in this -affair? I'm not surprised you can't bear to face your crime!" - -"Vulgar!" Julie yelled. "Vulgar, skinny man!" - -Marc glanced at the radio. "You've ruined it!" - -"You ruined it yourself. Though I will say that if you hadn't, I had -every intention of taking a meat axe to it." - -"And to me, too, I dare say. A nice way for a wife to go on to a -husband who has cherished and protected her." - -"Oh, stop it, you ninny," Julie said. "Stop carrying on as though I'd -murdered you." - -"I'd have preferred to be murdered," Marc said, shuddering with pain. - -"Stop crouching like that," Julie said. "And stop holding yourself -in that suggestive way. You look like a child with uncertain habits. -Straighten up." - -Marc considered the matter of straightening up; never had he felt so -strongly the need to rise to his full height. He relinquished his -grip on himself and tried to unbend. Instantly he fell back into the -crouching position with a cry of pain. - -"I can't!" he cried. "I can't straighten up!" - -Julie's expression swiftly undertook a series of transformations -ranging from suspicion to chagrin to abject contrition. - -"Of course you can," she said anxiously. "Try." - -"I can't, I tell you!" Marc gritted. "And it serves you right. As a -matter of fact I hope I stay this way, and you have to spend the rest -of your days explaining to everyone how it happened. You've dislocated -my sacroiliac, that's what you've done, you brutish female!" - -"Oh, no!" Julie gasped. "Oh, Marc!" She ran toward him. - -"Get away from me!" Marc snarled. "Don't you touch me, you Judith -Iscariot!" - -"Oh, dear!" Julie wailed. She held our a hand. "I'll get a doctor, the -one down the block. Don't do anything. I'll be right back." She started -toward the door. - -"Tell him how it happened!" Marc called after her spitefully. "Tell him -how you kicked your own husband in the...!" - -But the door slammed as Julie hurried out of the house and down the -steps. - -Marc returned his hands gingerly to his pulsing bottom and stared -gloomily at the floor. - -"Damn!" he said. "Damn, damn, damn!" - - * * * * * - -The doctor strapped a final length of adhesive across Marc's back and -helped him into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. - -"It may be tender for a day or two," he said. He helped Marc into his -pajama coat. "You'll be all right, though. You can have Mrs. Pillsworth -take that tape off for you at the end of the week." - -"I'll wear it to my grave," Marc snapped, "before I'll permit that -woman to touch me again." - -"Now, now, Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor temporized. "You'll feel better -in the morning." He turned and picked up his case. "I imagine those -sedatives will take care of everything for tonight." - -"Thank you, doctor," Marc said gratefully, and sank back rigidly on the -bed. Lying down, held stiffly by the tape, he was forced to watch the -doctor from the corner of his eye. - -"Goodnight, doctor." - -"Goodnight." The doctor nodded from across the room and opened the door -to leave. Julie was revealed wringing her hands in the hallway. She -stepped forward. - -"How is he, doctor?" she asked. "May I see him now?" - -"Keep her out!" Marc growled from his pillow. "If she so much as sticks -a hand in here I'll bite it!" - -The doctor took Julie's arm. "Don't worry," he said. "Everyone's a -little neurotic these days." He guided her back into the hall and -closed the door. - -Marc shifted his gaze from the door to the ceiling. The laughter of -the Fredericks and their guests drifted in through the open window, -and he reflected on its quality: it was the laughter of desperation, -not abandoned. Then the scream of a fire siren sounded faintly in the -distance, and a woman echoed the cry weirdly from somewhere down the -block--another patient for the good doctor. - -Marc closed his eyes and waited for the sedatives to work. An echo of -pain throbbed along his spine. He tried to shift a bit, but the tape -held him in place, and the pain was only worse for the effort. He -looked at the ceiling again and noted its singular blankness without -pleasure. Finally he decided to turn his mind to other things--to -the past and happier circumstances. Instantly, without any conscious -cooperation, Toffee's pert face stirred in his memory. The ghost of a -smile played at the corners of his mouth. - -Not that the thought of Toffee was undilutedly pleasant. The gamin -creature of his mind had a strong predisposition for trouble as well as -pleasure--a sort of special magnetism that drew calamity to herself as -well as the hapless souls around her. And yet the basic feeling, when -thinking of Toffee, was one of distinct cheer. If trouble came to her -it was never altogether unmixed with a certain element of hilarity. -There was always a dash of excitement at least. - - * * * * * - -Naturally Toffee had not been in Marc's mind at all these last few -months. For one thing he had been much too concerned with the perilous -state of the world, and Toffee, not a consistent inhabitant of this -world, or much of any other, was difficult to picture in conjunction -with truly worldly matters. - -If it could be said that Toffee lived at all, it would have to be the -Valley of Marc's mind. Not that she wasn't quite real; it was just that -she did not exist materially unless she was projected into the material -world through Marc's imagination. After that she was as flesh and blood -as anyone--indeed, to an almost overwhelming degree at times. - -If Marc had grown used to this strange circumstance--that his mind -could actually create a living, breathing perfect hellion of a -redhead--it was only by virtue of repetition. The human mind can adjust -to the wildest of impossibilities in time, if it is only subjected to -them often enough. - -The smile grew on Marc's lips as he considered the provocative form and -features of Toffee. It was a vision to prod the sternest lips into a -smile. - -Then the smile vanished as Julie's footsteps sounded outside in the -hallway. Marc listened to their approach, turning his eyes toward the -door. - -He could almost see her standing there in the hallway beyond the closed -door. Desolated with remorse, she would be, undecided. A trickle of -compassion gullied the surface of Marc's resentment. After all, she -had really meant to hurt him. He would have called out to her, but the -footsteps sounded anew and retreated down the hall. A moment later a -door opened and closed. Marc sighed; tomorrow would be time enough to -make it up to her. - -He closed his eyes as a slow drowsiness began to seep through his lean -body--probably the sedatives going to work. His mind wandered aimlessly -for a moment, then collided, quite forcibly, with a sudden realization; -during the last hour--for the first time in weeks--his thoughts had -turned away from the dismal state of the world and centered on himself. -For a whole hour his interest had been entirely absorbed in a simple -domestic crisis--a little thing like a fight over the radio! - -Marc's mind spun with the thought. In the last few months things--the -matters of men's lives--had somehow gotten themselves all turned around -backwards. People had ceased to concern themselves with the really -important things--fighting over a radio, for instance--and had turned -to the childish business of blowing up the world. - -Marc paused to sum up these thoughts. Somewhere they contained a very -great and very simple truth, though they were all snarled up. Somehow -his dislocated sacroiliac and the troubles of the world were subtly -related.... - -The drowsiness washed over his mind again, and the thought was carried -away on the crest. He reached after them, but couldn't quite make it. -There was but one last glimmer: - -"What this world needs," Marc murmured, "is a good five ton kick in -the...." - -His eyes closed, and instantly his chest began to rise and fall with -the deep, regular breathing of complete sleep. - - * * * * * - -A warm breeze dusted the edge of the curtain and set it rippling. -Somewhere in the night, in the distance across the city, a siren wailed -with inconsolable melancholy. A cat stalked the intersection, as silent -and intense as his leopard-long shadow. In his narcotic slumbers Marc -rolled a bit to one side and made a small whimpering sound as the -adhesive pulled at his back. He lay back and was still. - -But Marc had dismissed all conscious memory of his injury some time -hence. In the same moment when he had fallen asleep he had left the -room of the rippling curtain and unhappy echoes and had passed into the -untroubled, all-black world of unconsciousness. - -Now, however, he stirred again, and with that almost indiscernible -movement, leaped from the darkness into lighter regions; into the -secret, all-things-are-possible world of his subconscious--into the -world where dreams can become more real than reality itself. Marc -paused on the brink of this world for one tremulous moment, then -plunged forward.... - -Brilliant light shot up to meet him so that he had to close his eyes -against the glare. Then, slowly, he opened them again. Much like the -sensation of stepping onto cool lawn after having walked barefoot on -scorching concrete, pain was swiftly followed by almost unbearable -pleasure. - -Before Marc's gaze a soft greenness stretched away from him into -graceful rising slopes and cool shadowed hollows--artfully like a -display of green velvet in a shop window. On the rise of the most -distant knoll stretched a forest of strange trees which held at once a -cathedral of stateliness and a feathery pliability. Weaving slightly -with the breeze they were mindful of nothing so much as a handful of -royal plumes stuck into the earth at the whim of a bemused child. The -Valley of The Subconscious Mind.... - -Marc knew instantly where he was; he'd been there often enough before. -He glanced around in search of some movement, some flash of animated -color. But there was nothing. He started up the rise, stretching his -long legs purposefully before him. Surely she would be there, probably -among the trees. - -But she was not. Nor was there any sign of her. Marc moved to the crest -of the knoll where the trees were the thickest, but the far horizon -proved to be obscured by a blue mist that swirled and disported itself -in the way of something alive. He stood there for a long moment, -turning slowly, watching anxiously for any sign, but there was none. -Finally he sat down, braced his elbows on his knees and rested his -chin in his hand. Disappointment welled inside him--and hurt too; -always before she had been right there to meet him at the moment of his -arrival. - - * * * * * - -He stiffened with a sudden, dreadful thought: what if Toffee wasn't -there at all? What if she had ceased to exist? Wasn't it possible -since she was only a product of his imagination? He stood up and again -scanned the horizon. He bent down to peer into the shifting frontiers -of the mists. - -And then it happened. It was low and mean and sharply reminiscent of a -similar agony which had befallen him in another time and place that he -couldn't rightly remember. Grabbing himself uninhibitedly he doubled -forward and sat down heavily on the ground. - -Then it was over as swiftly and surprisingly as it had begun. The air -rippled with musical, feminine laughter, somewhere behind him. Marc -swung around. - -Lovely as ever, her mist-textured tunic only served to cast a cool -greenish tint on the flesh of the outrageously perfect body beneath -it. As she moved from beneath the trees, her flaming hair fell loose -about her shoulders, as free and wild as the spirit it adorned. Though -her full red lips quivered with laughter, the real laughter was in the -depths of her green eyes. She paused for a moment, then ran forward and -sat down lightly at his side. She eyed him with mischievous amusement. - -"You dilapidated old despot," she smiled. "It's about time you showed -that simpering old face of yours around here again." - -Marc, mindful of his recent discomfiture, returned her gaze with chilly -suspicion. But if Toffee noticed she pretended not to. With a quick -maneuver which was executed with the skill and precision obtainable -only through long and diligent practice, she twined her arms about his -neck and kissed him full upon the mouth. Marc received the kiss with -unblinking aloofness. His gaze remained hostile even as she leaned back -from him. - -"You kicked me," he said injuredly. - -Toffee's eyes widened with enormous innocence. "You've got it wrong. I -kissed you, that's all." - -"Kicked," Marc said stubbornly. "You kicked me." - -"Where?" - -"Never mind." - -"I was yards away from you at the time," Toffee said. "You saw me, -yourself." - - * * * * * - -Marc reflected. It was true; she hadn't even been in sight. Still, -experience had taught him that she was capable of anything, perhaps -even a long-distance boot in the bottom. - -"Well, somebody did it," he said sullenly. - -"I swear it wasn't me," Toffee said stoutly. "I swear it on the old -bald head of my maternal grandfather." - -"You haven't got a maternal grandfather," Marc said shortly. "Don't -talk nonsense." - -"If I had a maternal grandfather," Toffee amended smoothly, "and he had -an old bald head, I would unhesitatingly swear on it." - -"You would just as unhesitatingly lop it off with an axe, too," Marc -said, "if it served your purpose." - -"Who wouldn't?" Toffee said. "Who wants an old bald head around all the -time? Even a maternal grandfather's?" - -"You haven't got a grandfather," Marc reminded her sharply, "maternal -or otherwise." - -"Certainly, I have," Toffee said stoutly. "I just swore on his old bald -head, didn't I? Or did I swear _at_ his old bald head? I wouldn't be -surprised. He's always whining around about how maternal he is, and I -know darned well he's never been a mother in his life. It's disgusting." - -"Sometimes I wonder why I even listen to you," Marc said. "I only get -dizzy." - -"Well, it's no wonder I'm flighty with that nasty old man under foot -all the time," Toffee said. "If you'd just speak to this maternal -grandfather of mine and tell him to stop sticking his old bald head -into everything...." - -"Stop!" Marc cried. "If you go on any more about it I'll start foaming -at the mouth!" - -Toffee lay back on the grass and stretched her arms thoughtfully above -her head. - -"Anyway," she said. "I swear my foot has not so much as brushed the -seat of your pants." But even as she said it a smile played fleetingly -at the corners of her mouth. - -Marc turned to her, prepared to the last inflection to inform her that -he would trust her only a little less farther than he could hurl a -steam shovel with his bare teeth, but he did not speak. His gaze went -to her left hand and remained there. - - * * * * * - -In all the time he had known her Marc had never seen Toffee wear even -a single piece of jewelry: it was taken for granted that her charms -were sufficient unto themselves without any superficial ornamentation. -One might be silly enough to apply gilt to a lily, but never to a gold -piece. Therefore, he was surprised now to glance down and see quite a -large ring on her finger. - -And the ring itself was quite as remarkable as the fact of Toffee's -wearing it. Marc had never seen anything like it before and was willing -to bet a tidy sum that no one else had either. - -The metal part of the ring was neither silver nor gold, yet faintly -resembled both--with a strange translucent quality that seemed -altogether unreal. It had been fashioned into a design that was both -simple and beautiful. But it was really the stone which caught and held -Marc's eye. - -Such a stone was simply not possible! It resembled an emerald of the -largest, rarest and most beautiful kind, and yet it was not an emerald. -No mere emerald, no natural chemical fluke, could possibly have the -life--the almost living vitality--of this stone. It gave off a light -that met the eye with something like an electrical shock. But that -wasn't all. It was the _feeling_ you got just from looking at it--that -the stone both absorbed from and contributed to the living atmosphere -around it. The thing actually assumed a personality as you stared at -it. Marc felt a shiver of apprehension. - -"Where did you get that ring?" he asked. - -"Oh, that," Toffee said negligently. "Just something I dreamed up out -of my head--the way you dream me up." - -"You mean...?" - -"Sure," Toffee nodded. "You aren't the only one around here who can do -cerebral somersaults. After all, I'm right here at the source. As a -matter of fact it was something you said that gave me the idea." - -"What do you mean?" Marc asked. "What did I say?" - -"Oh, I forget just how it went right now," Toffee said. "Besides -there'll be lots of time for all this dull conversation later. Right -now...." - -"Are you trying to hold something back from me?" Marc asked -suspiciously. - -"Nothing," Toffee said. She pulled herself closer, brushed her lips -playfully across his cheek. "Absolutely nothing." She slipped her arm -around his neck. - - * * * * * - -The next few seconds were characterized with quiet struggle as Marc -disengaged himself from her determined embrace. - -"Next time hold something back," he said confusedly. "There's just so -much that human flesh and blood can stand, you know." - -"And you have so little of either," Toffee said. She gazed at him -reflectively. "Kissing you is like tying on your bib over a plate of -bleached bones." - -"Leave it to you to paint a disgusting picture," Marc shuddered. - -"Give me a good heaping plate of bleached bones any time," Toffee said. -"I'd prefer it." - -"May I remind you," Marc said coolly, "that it was you who hurled -yourself into my arms? You seemed to be all for it at the time." - -"Merely the touch of the artist," Toffee said archly. "Just fitting -myself into a part." - -"Have I ever thought to tell you," Marc said, "that you are the most -unprincipled, low-minded...?" - -Then suddenly his voice dried in his throat. His gaze darted away from -Toffee's face and swept frightenedly across the horizon. - -"Oh, my gosh!" he cried. - -Suddenly, like a slow dissolve in a movie, the little valley was simply -melting away into black nothingness. Already the distant trees had -disappeared. Marc jumped to his feet. - -"Look!" he yelled. "Look!" - -Toffee was instantly beside him. For a moment she gazed on the -horrifying spectacle, then tugged imperatively at his sleeve. - -"Come on!" she cried. "Let's run!" - -But as they turned in the other direction the blackness only rushed at -them anew; it was coming all around them. They stopped short. - -"Will we drop away into nothing?" Toffee wailed, "or just melt away -with everything else?" - -"We'll find out soon enough," Marc moaned. - -And perhaps a bit sooner, it seemed, for even as Marc spoke, the -darkness swooped to within yards of them. - -Toffee drew close to Marc, trembling a bit, and he placed his arm about -her shoulders. They stood in expectant silence for a moment, watching -the greenness disappear around them. Then, all at once, it was gone -beneath them. - -It was just as they plunged downward into the darkness that Toffee -threw her arms about Marc's neck and held tight.... - - * * * * * - -The world reeled drunkenly through space ... whirled away with -egg-shaped lopsidedness ... and then there was nothing left anywhere -but the original dough from which everything had been made in the first -place ... messy, clammy stuff ... and you sank deeper and deeper into -it no matter how hard you struggled. Marc tried to cry out.... - -And then there was an answer, a scraping of metal on metal. A light -showed ahead, dulled and heavily diffused, but it came suddenly. A -voice spoke encouragement.... - -"Just a minute, and I'll dig you out. How you ever managed to get -snarled up like that flat on your back...." - -The voice continued scolding him with affection, and a minute later the -doughy mass was pulled aside, and he could see that it was only the -perspiration-covered sheets. He looked at them, then beyond them to -Julie's gently smiling face. Morning was crowding into the room through -the windows behind her. - -"'Morning," he said sheepishly. "Thanks." - -In silence Julie handed him a glass of orange juice, and he boosted -himself forward to drink it. - -"How's your ... your back?" she asked tentatively. "Is it better?" - -Marc returned the glass to her, tried a few movements involving his -mummified spine. There was no definite pain, only a suggestion of -stiffness. - -"Brand new," he said, and smiled. - -"Oh, I'm so relieved!" Julie breathed. She sat down close beside him on -the bed. "I'm sorry, Marc." - -For a moment they only looked at each other. Then, suddenly breaking -into laughter, they fell into each other's arms. - -"Oh, Marc!" Julie cried. "I haven't been so happy in months. I don't -know why. Nothing's changed; everything's in the same old mess, and -considering what I did to you last night I ought to feel just awful. -But I don't, and I just can't explain it." - -"Maybe I can," Marc said slowly. "I think ... just before I fell asleep -last night ... I think something very important occurred to me. I -think...!" - -Suddenly his voice degenerated into a thin wheeze as the air rushed out -of his lungs. He looked as though nothing of even minor importance had -passed through his mind from the day of his birth. Julie looked up at -him with anxious surprise. - -"What is it, dear?" she asked. "What's wrong?" - -Marc didn't answer; he only stared--into the mirror across the room. -Even as he watched, the horrifying thing he had witnessed a moment -before repeated itself. - -Across the room, almost exactly opposite the mirror was a small alcove, -just big enough to accommodate his desk and filing cabinet. When the -compartment was not in use a set of curtains concealed its existence. -It was the reflection of these curtains and their sudden curious -behavior which had set Marc's hair on end. - - * * * * * - -For curtains which were meant only to hang blissfully on metal rods -and behave themselves, these were weaving about in a most distressing -fashion. In fact they were carrying on in such a loose-minded way that -it was a wonder Marc did not return his head to the cover of the soggy -sheets and leave it there just to be spared the sight. - -As it was, Marc peered wildly into the mirror as the curtains suddenly -parted themselves, took on individual lives of their own, and began to -twist about in the air in a way that defied all reason. This continued -for several seconds, then matters got worse. - -The curtain on the left retreated from the performance and hung -limp. Marc sighed a sigh of relief, only to catch his breath in a -new convulsion of horror. The curtain on the right, not content with -behaving like something human, had decided to look like something human -as well. Actually, in the manner of a close fitting dress, the thing -began to assume bumps and hollows of an extremely feminine and alarming -nature. It was then, and only a moment before a flash of red hair -showed around the edge of the curtain, that Marc realized the awful -truth of the situation; Toffee had materialized. She had materialized -in his bedroom, without any clothes, and was trying to fashion a dress -for herself from the draperies. - -"Darling!" Julie cried. "Why are you looking like that? What's the -matter?" - -Julie's voice suddenly reminded Marc of the real danger in the -situation. He glanced up, reached out and gripped Julie's shoulders -just in time to prevent her turning about to see what he was staring at. - -"There's nothing wrong!" He laughed falsely. "Everything's wonderful! -Wonderful! Go get me some breakfast!" - -"What?" Julie asked confusedly. - -But Marc's gaze had again been captured by a movement in the mirror. As -he looked up Toffee's reflection smiled brightly at him and waved. - -"Stay where you are!" Marc gibbered. "Go back!" - -"What?" Julie asked. - -Marc looked at her unhappily. "I'm starving!" he gibbered. "Get me -something to eat! I may start gnawing on the bedpost in a minute!" - -"But you just said for me to stay where I was. Why?" - -"Yes, yes, I know," Marc said. He smiled feebly. "What I mean is that -I'm hungry and want breakfast, but I hate to see you leave to get it -because ... because it's so nice to see you this morning...." - - * * * * * - -Julie smiled uncertainly and patted his head. "I'll get you something -right away," she said. "But I'll hurry." - -"Oh, don't!" Marc said. "Take all the time you want!" - -Julie looked at him quizzically and started to rise from the bed. -Unfortunately for everyone's peace of mind Toffee chose that moment to -stick one shapely leg around the edge of the curtain. - -"Don't!" Marc yelled. - -Julie sat down quickly and reached a hand to Marc's brow. "But how can -I get breakfast if I don't leave?" she asked patiently. - -Marc turned to her with an harrassed expression. "You can't!" he cried. -"That's just it! So leave! Go on! Go 'way!" - -"What!" An expression of utter hopelessness came over Julie's face. - -"Go!" Marc said desperately. "Hurry!" - -Julie stared at him for a long moment. "Are you sure you aren't -harboring some sort of terrible grudge against me for what I did last -night?" she asked slowly. "I'll understand perfectly if...." - -"No, no, no!" Marc broke in. "I was never more fond of you than I am -right at this minute. Go away." - -"All right," Julie said. "I'm going. But don't call me back this time -the minute I make a move for the door." - -"I won't," Marc said. "I'll be silent as the grave." - -Julie leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the forehead, then started -across the room toward the door. "I'll be back practically instantly." - -Quickly, Marc whirled around and stared in the direction of the alcove. -As he did so the blood in his veins was sorely put to it whether to -run hot or cold; Toffee, curve-some as a serpent and twice as fleshy, -had stepped from behind the curtains and, at the moment, had arranged -herself into a posture of highly seductive nature. This, judging by her -expression, she considered humorous in the extreme. Not so, Marc. - -"No!" he cried. "Stop!" - -Julie did not bother to turn around; she merely stopped where she was -in the doorway and placed her hands carefully on her hips. "Oh, no!" -she groaned. "I've married a man who fancies himself a traffic signal!" - -"No!" Marc yelled. "Not you!" - -"Then who?" Julie asked with threadbare patience. "The twenty-seven -little men with pointed heads sitting on the bureau? Is that who you -mean, dearest?" - -"Just go!" Marc implored her. "Go!" - -"Stop, go, stop, go, stop go!" Julie shrilled. "I am not operated -electrically. More's the pity!" Slowly she started to turn around to -face her ever-changing spouse and--eventually--the nakedest redhead -any wife ever had the sheer horror of discovering in her husband's bed -chamber. - - * * * * * - -Marc felt fate bearing down on him in a way that made him understand -the feelings of a deeply rooted daisy looking up at an approaching -steam roller. He turned away and closed his eyes in the cowering aspect -of one who expects to receive a load of brickbats on the nape of the -neck. He stood, his nerves alerted against Julie's cry. There was a -beat of silence--then it came. - -But it was not the cry that Marc had braced himself against. This cry -was sharply out of character, not at all the triumphant cawe of a -wronged wife laying hand to definite proof of her husband's perfidy. -This was sheerly, unmistakably a cry of basic, physical pain. - -Marc opened his eyes and turned around, then started back with a gasp -of surprise. Julie, the beauty who always walked in regal stateliness, -whose every move and gesture was a masterpiece of living poetry, was -suddenly squatting in the doorway, clutching at herself in a way which -was not only ungainly but downright repellent. - -For a long moment surprise rendered Marc totally incapable of action. -Then with a burst of logic and simultaneous realization, he whirled in -Toffee's direction. Suddenly, this whole shuddering situation was all -too clear to him. - -Toffee, now completely emerged from her place of hiding, turned and -smiled at him in a conspiratorial and knowing way. Marc noticed that -her left hand was raised significantly in Julie's direction, while the -right was held over the face of the curious ring, as though shading it. - -He stared at her in horror; he couldn't imagine exactly what part the -unearthly ring was playing in Julie's unlovely predicament, but he was -absolutely certain that it was responsible to some degree or another. -He was stunned beyond caution. - -"Stop that," he demanded angrily. "Stop that instantly!" - -Julie, still crouching in the doorway, her back to the room, trembled -violently and turned her eyes to the ceiling. - -"Do you think I'm doing this because I like it?" she gritted between -clenched teeth. "Do you actually imagine I wouldn't stop it if I could, -you beast?" - -"Now, Julie...!" Marc turned about, held out an imploring hand to her -arched back. - -"You shut up, you vindictive vermin!" Julie hissed, announcing her -sentiments through the length of the outer hallway. "So you bear no -grudge, huh? Hah! I'm only surprised you didn't break your back under -the load!" - -"Julie...!" Marc pleaded. "You don't under...!" - -"No!" Julie broke in. "Oh, no! Don't you dare say I don't understand! -And don't tell me I don't know when I've been brutally, wantonly and -vengefully kicked from and in the rear!" - -"_Julie!_" Marc gasped. "I didn't kick you. I know it's hard to -believe, but...." - -"You're darned tootin' it's hard to believe!" Julie sneered. "In fact -it's impossible to believe, you liar!" - -"But...!" - -"Well, aren't you at least going to call the doctor? As inhuman as we -both now know you to be, there must be some slim thread of decency -somewhere in the tacky fabric of that character of yours." - -Marc turned beseechingly to Toffee. - -"Please," he implored her. "_Please!_ You're not helping matters, you -know, in taking that attitude." - -"Ohhh!" Julie groaned. "I didn't take this attitude, I was kicked into -it!" - - * * * * * - -With a bland smile Toffee nodded to Marc. Then carefully she removed -her hand from the ring, and there was a bright glitter from its -surface. Toffee winked broadly and stepped back into the alcove. In -the doorway Julie straightened instantly and turned around, her hands -clenched tightly at her sides. She stretched her back tentatively. - -"Well, I'm all right again," she announced heavily. "No thanks to you, -Mr. Wife Kicker!" - -"Julie ..." Marc began, "you've got to listen to me!" - -"Oh, no, I don't!" Julie corrected him emphatically. "I don't have to -listen to you. All I have to do is convince myself that I like that -lamp over there too well to shatter it on your skull." Calming herself -with an effort, she eyed him with controlled malevolence. She breathed -deeply. "I think I can trust myself now not to run to the kitchen for -the ice pick." She turned away. "Goodbye, Mr. Marcus Pillsworth!" - -"Julie...!" - -"And may your soul blister in everlasting hell!" Julie added as she -swept out of the room and into the hallway. - -Marc stood undecided for a moment. He started toward the hall, then -checked himself and spun around in the direction of the alcove. Two -striding steps brought him to the drapes, and with a single sweeping -gesture of outrage, raked them aside. Toffee was disclosed sitting on -the edge of the desk, one leg crossed casually over the other, blowing -on her nails. She glanced up and smiled innocently. - -"Lo," she said. - -"Why you slithering little reptile!" Marc barked. "Of all the witless -stunts...!" - -Toffee waggled a slender finger at his costume. "Has anyone ever told -you how cunning you look in those pajamas?" she murmured. "Are they -ripped that way on purpose for ventilation?" - -With a seizure of modesty Marc snatched at the curtains and clutched -them around him. He looked rather like a Roman senator with his toga -slipping. Toffee laughed. - -"I thought that would put the muzzle on you, you old Puritan," she -said. - - * * * * * - -Marc drew himself up to his full six feet and two inches, and eyed her -with lofty disdain. "You're in a nice position to talk," he observed -frigidly. - -"I'm in a nice position for a lot of things," Toffee sighed, "but you'd -never notice." - -Marc cleared his throat and averted his eyes. "Don't be brazen," he -said. "I would offer you these curtains if I didn't need them so -desperately myself." - -"Always the perfect host," Toffee commented. - -"Never mind me," Marc said. "What about you? Whatever possessed you to -do a thing like that?" - -"Like what?" - -"Oh, stop it," Marc said wearily. "It was perfectly evident that you -were at the bottom of that little demonstration." - -"At the bottom?" Toffee laughed. "You put it so well. Unless you wanted -to say I was at the seat of things." - -"There you go. Just give you a simple statement and you squeeze enough -dirt out of it to start a truck farm." Marc agitated his drapes. -"Either you tell me what you're up to or I'll stop projecting you if I -have to belt myself over the head with a sledge hammer." - -Toffee smiled slowly. "I might as well make a clean breast of it," she -said. "If the anatomical reference doesn't strike you as too racy?" - -"Never mind," Marc said shortly. "You wouldn't recognize a moral -scruple if it were presented to you in a glass jar." - -"Very well," Toffee said. "Apparently you've guessed the function of -my ring." She held up her hand and the fearsome ornament glittered -brightly. "Actually the stone projects a ray which, in effect, -sensitizes the bones and tissues of the human body, separates them -slightly according to how long you time the concentration, and holds -them apart. Maybe you noticed that Julie, just before her accident, was -slightly taller than usual. Anyway, once you have the subject focused, -it's only a matter of breaking the ray quickly with the other hand. -Things, drawn apart and out of line snap back with such a force that -the subject might just as well be struck with a hammer." She looked at -Marc. "See what I mean?" - - * * * * * - -"I think so." Marc said slowly. "In other words you focused the -radiation on the base of Julie's spine, drew ... uh ... things out -of line, broke the suspending force suddenly, so that they jarred -together with such momentum that they were thrown out of place ... the -sacroiliac, in this case." - -"Exactly," Toffee said. "In effect, I simply gave your wife a good -rousing kick in the...." - -"Croup," Marc supplied quickly. - -"In the croup," Toffee agreed. "And when I wanted her to get over it I -merely pulled the ... things ... apart again, then released them more -gently so as to return them to their proper adjustment." - -"But what I want to know," Marc said evenly, "is just what possessed -you to demonstrate this diabolical little gadget on Julie?" - -"Two reasons," Toffee explained. "First to make sure the ring works the -way I planned it, second to get Julie out of the way." - -"Get her out of the way?" Marc repeated apprehensively. "Now look -here if you have any sordid notions about a dalliance on a divan, for -instance...." - -"I always have those notions," Toffee said. "However at the moment I'm -having them in conjunction with other notions." She smiled prettily. -"I've come to straighten out the world." - -"You _what_?" Marc asked incredulously. - -"You will admit it needs straightening out?" Toffee asked complacently. - -"Well, yes," Marc said. "But believe me the one thing it doesn't need -is your ministrations. It couldn't take it. And I wish you'd get rid of -that filthy ring." - -"Why should I?" Toffee asked. "After all it was just as much your idea -as mine." - -"My idea?" Marc said. "How do you figure that?" - -"You said it plain as anything," Toffee said, "last night, just before -you went to sleep. You said the world needed a good swift kick." - -"Oh, my gosh!" Marc said. "And so you've...!" He pointed at the ring. - -Toffee nodded proudly. "I'm the girl that's right in there with the -goods. Everything will be just dandy in no time." - - * * * * * - -"Oh, Lord!" Marc groaned. "Of all the things I've said in my life, you -would have to pick on that!" He stopped, sighed heavily, looked at her -long and wearily. "Well, you can just pack up your ring and your sex -appeal and trot right back to where you came from. Of all the idiotic -notions...!" - -"Huh-uh," Toffee shook her head. "It's an idea that appeals to me. -Besides, if enough of the right people get kicked in the right -places ... well, what have we got to lose?" - -"Also," Marc said coolly, "I don't believe I thanked you yet for -wrecking my home. I take it that is a sample of your methods for -establishing unity and good will?" - -"Good will?" Toffee smiled. "I have other methods for that." She slid -off the edge of the desk and moved purposefully toward him. - -"You lay a hand on these drapes," Marc said nervously, "and I'll -scream. I mean it! Julie is still here, you know." - -Just then, as though to deliberately make a liar of him, the front door -slammed downstairs. - -"We are quite, quite alone," Toffee murmured significantly. - -"Go away!" Marc said, trembling in his draperies. "Go back where you -came from. Heaven knows things are bad enough already...." - -"Oh, stop it," Toffee said. "We have business to attend to." - -"Business?" - -"Yes. As long as I've gotten myself all materialized to save the world -I suppose I might just as well pitch in and get it over with. Business -before pleasure, as they say. I figure I can have these world affairs -you've been brooding over set ship-shape in less time than it takes -a flat-chested girl to shuck on her girdle. Then I'll be free to -concentrate on you without interruption." - -"No!" Marc said suddenly. "I don't know why I waste my time listening -to this prattle. Save the world! Indeed! I'm taking you down to the -office where you can't harm anyone and leave you there till you decide -to evaporate. Both the world and I have enough headaches already." - -"You've dropped your drapes," Toffee observed mildly. - -"Hang the drapes!" Marc said forcibly and, taking a hitch in his -gaping pajamas, strode into the bathroom ... and locked the door. - - * * * * * - -Driving, particularly toward the center of the city, had lately -become hazardous; the motorist never knew what insanity awaited him -just around the next corner. At an intersection Marc stopped the car -before a group of white-haired, bonneted old ladies who were gleefully -engrossed in a game of croquet that had something to do with knocking -your opponent's ball into an open manhole. At the sound of Marc's horn -one of the aged gamesters glanced around demurely and peered at him -through silver-rimmed glasses. - -"Can it, you creep," she shrilled. "You wanna louse my shot?" - -She might have said more except that her attention was suddenly drawn -to the manhole, where the grimy head of a workman rose slowly like a -soiled and rather timid moon. Lifting her skirts delicately so that -only the minimum of ankle was exposed the lady minced daintily forward -and belted the head a stunning blow with her mallet. Without a murmur -the head retreated once more into the deeps of the city sewage system. - -"Danged whelp keeps poppin' up and spoilin' our innocent fun," the old -lady said sullenly. "Does it just to aggravate us." She turned to one -of her companions. "Shag me the bottle, Lana." - -The lady in question produced a bottle of bourbon from the folds of her -skirt. "Right-o, Rita," she said. "Blood in your eye!" - -Marc shook his head sadly, but Toffee, huddled beside him in one of his -topcoats, saw a certain charm in the sketch. - -"Personally," she said, "I like to see folks growing old disgracefully. -It makes the inevitability of age more attractive. After a lifetime of -perfecting sins and vices you ought to be able to take them with you at -least as far as the grave." - -Passing by this bit of lopsided philosophy, Marc wheeled the car onto -the sidewalk and skirted the field of play. - -"The whole world's gone mad," he murmured. - -It was a block later, at the sight of the Empire Department Store, that -Toffee instructed Marc to stop the car. - -"I want to pick up a few fine feathers," she explained. "I may want to -take a flier later on." - -"You won't need clothes," Marc informed her. "The office is most -informal these days, especially since the staff has left." - -"If I'm going to languish," Toffee said, "I'm going to do it in silks -and satins. Besides, if you don't stop I'll darned well cripple you -with my jewelry." - -Marc pulled the car to the curb without further discussion. - - * * * * * - -They left the car and entered the Empire, where aisles and counters -stretched into the distance over gleaming floors. A dark girl with -circles under her eyes lounged dreamily at a counter displaying gloves -and handbags. They approached. But just as they did so a short, stocky -individual in a turtle-neck sweater hurried up to the girl from the -opposite direction. He stopped abruptly and stuck a revolver in the -girl's face, waggling it just beneath her nose. Crossing her eyes -drowsily, the girl observed the gun, then the man. - -"Oh, fer Cris'sake," she murmured. - -"Hand over the cash, sister," the man growled. - -"Okay," the girl yawned. "Only don't rush me, see?" She reached under -the counter and brought forth a bag such as money is kept in. She -scratched herself delicately and dropped the bag on the counter. "I -figured I'd have it ready this time," she said. "Anything else, sir?" - -"Yeah," the thug snarled, brandishing the gun anew. "Now lay down on -the floor and don't open your trap until I'm gone." - -"Aw, that corny routine, huh?" the girl sneered. - -"G'wan!" - -The girl shrugged indifferently, then boosted herself away from the -counter and disappeared slowly beneath its horizon. The thug departed -in the direction of the street. - -For a moment Marc and Toffee were left to ponder this episode in -solitude, then the girl slowly reappeared, leaned her elbows on the -counter. She swiveled her bored eyes in their direction apathetically. - -"Yuh want something?" she drawled. - -"Aren't you going to scream or something?" Toffee asked with quiet -curiosity. - -"Scream?" the girl asked. "What'd I want to scream for?" - -"Well," Toffee said. "It may be that I'm just the excitable type, but -if I'd just been robbed I'd sound off like a crash alarm." - -"Oh, that," the girl murmured. "That wasn't nothing, honey. Take a look -over there." - -Marc and Toffee gazed in the direction she indicated--a counter laden -with expensive handbags. As they looked a hand darted furtively from -beneath the counter, grasped one of the bags and instantly disappeared -again. A moment later the action was repeated. - -"What in the...?" Marc said. - -"A purse snatcher," the girl said. "He's good, too. He can clean out a -whole counter in half an hour sometimes." - -"Don't you care?" Toffee asked. - -"I should care," the girl shrugged. "They're stealin' the store blind -from end to end. What's the diff? What's the store going to do with -money when it's blasted off the face of the earth?" - - * * * * * - -Toffee and Marc, before they had had time to digest this, were diverted -by a small movement at the end of the counter. The face of the thug who -had presumably just departed appeared briefly from behind a display of -gloves. - -"_Psst!_" it said. - -"The place is infested!" Toffee said. - -"Excuse me," the salesgirl said, "I'll be right back. If you see -anything you like just slip it into your stocking, honey." She ambled -over to the glove display. "Yeah?" she inquired. - -The face was joined by a hand bearing the money bag. - -"Here," he said, "I din' take nothin' outa it." - -"Don't you want it?" the girl asked. - -"Let's do it over again," the thug said. "Only this time give it a -little somethin', will yuh? Scream and carry on a little bit so's I can -get the feel of it better." - -"Oh, okay," the girl said listlessly. She accepted the bag and returned -to Marc and Toffee. "Whatta pest," she said. "All day all he does is -hold me up, that's all, just hold me up. I get tired of it." - -"Doesn't the manager mind this sort of thing?" Marc asked. - -"Geez, no," the girl said. "The manager don't mind anything any more. -Why should he? He'll cork off just as fast as the janitor when the -bombs drop." - -At this juncture the thug stepped from behind the glove display, waving -his gun excitedly. - -"This is a stickup!" he announced. - -"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the girl murmured. "What else?" - -"Go on an' scream," the bandit said in a lower tone. "You said you -would. You promised." - -"So okay," the girl agreed. She turned to Marc and Toffee. "You see how -it is--borin'." Then she threw back her head and gave vent to a shriek -that echoed back from the high ceiling with all the painful discord of -a trainload of jealous opera stars going through an underpass in full -voice. When it was over she leaned back on the counter and stifled a -yawn. "So was it okay?" she asked. - -"Not bad," the bandit said admiringly. "Now hand over the dough and git -down on the floor!" - -"Aw, have a heart," the girl said. "I've been down on the floor so much -today I'm beginning to feel like a dust mop." She nodded to Marc and -Toffee. "Make them get down on the floor for a change." - -The thug glanced around, then quickly away. "I couldn't!" he whispered. -"They're total strangers!" - -"Take the money and git," the girl said. "And don't come bringin' it -back, 'cause I'm through for today. I'm bushed." - -"Okay," the thug said. "Okay. You don't have to get sore about it!" -Drawing himself up, he departed in a huff of indignation. - -"Now," the girl said. "What was it you wanted?" But just then the -hand of the purse snatcher eased up to the counter and started edging -toward her. She reached out and dealt it a stinging blow. "Sometimes -he takes it into his head to pinch some things that ain't purses," she -explained. "A girl's got to keep an eye on the shifty little devil or -she might get the shock of her life." - -"Where could we find the manager of the store?" Marc asked. "I think if -we talked to him directly...." - - * * * * * - -Just then from across the store came the fearsome sound of steel jaws -closing with a vicious snap, this accompanied by the clatter of chains -and a blood-chilling shriek of pain. - -"That's the manager now," the girl said unconcernedly. "I guess Dolly's -got him trapped again. I'd know his scream anywhere." - -"Trapped?" Toffee asked. - -"Yeah. Over in the sport's department. Last week she got him in a lion -snare, but I guess she's back to her bear traps this week. They cripple -him up so he can't get away so fast." - -"This Dolly," Toffee said. "She bears the manager ill will?" - -"Oh, no," the girl said. "She's crazy about him. She's been after him -for years and never got anywhere at all. I guess she figures time's -runnin' out." - -"And this sport's department," Toffee asked. "They have a department -just for sports? I mean, is this manager considered a sport?" - -"He's game," the girl said. "Let's put it that way. The sports -department is where they sell equipment." - -"At least this Dolly suits the locale to the action," Toffee said. - -Just then the atmosphere was rent with another bellow of agony. - -"Come on," Marc said. "The poor devil needs help." - -"Be careful," the girl called after them as they started away. "He's -mean when he's cornered. Snarls and spits like a mad badger. And that -Dolly, she's been mean all her life." - -Marc and Toffee hurried to the sports section and stopped at the -entrance with a gasp of dismay. At the far end of the department a -camping display was being utilized for a scene of mad action. - -A young man of immaculate and personable countenance, one foot held -fast between the jaws of a mammoth bear trap, was energetically -distorting his features and making loud sounds of dissatisfaction. - -The cause of his predicament, a large, athletic, sharp-featured -female, wearing tortoise shell glasses and tennis shorts, stalked him -from behind a teepee. She was carrying a baseball bat, and a mad light -glittered in her eyes. It would have been apparent to even a retarded -child with a disturbed psyche that the young man's chances were slim. - -As Toffee and Marc watched, the young lady with the glasses leered -evilly from around the edge of the teepee and flourished her bat in a -few practice swipes. - -"Ho-ha!" she cried with primitive triumph. "So I've got you at last, -you stinker!" She paused to cackle fiendishly to herself. "You won't -get away this time. I'm going to pound that thick coco of yours so hard -you won't wake up for centuries. And when you wake up--you know what?" - - * * * * * - -The young man, who had ceased to snarl at the beginning of this -overwrought recital, looked around apprehensively. "No," he said. -"What?" - -"You are going to find yourself married, wed, hitched, spliced, mated, -united, espoused, wived, coupled, joined and made one with me. You are -going to be mine in twenty-three languages, in fifteen churches, ten -civil ceremonies and a couple of uncivil ones I just thought up myself. -How do you like them apples, Mr. Smart-stuff?" - -"No!" the young man yelped, reaching for the jaws of the trap. "No! -Never!" - -"Let go of that trap!" the girl yelled. "I'll lop your ears off just -for the sheer hell of it!" - -"We'd better lend a hand here," Marc said. "She'll kill him with love." - -"I can't help admiring her frank, forthright manner," Toffee said. "And -you can't deny that her intentions are almost too honorable. But I can -see where a man might consider her undainty, especially the choosy -kind." Marc started forward, but she reached out a hand and drew him -back. "I'll take care of this," she said. She raised her hand and faced -the ring in the direction of the infuriated Amazon. - -"Hurry up!" Marc said. "Shoot the current to her before she mashes him -to a pulp!" - -Toffee carefully surveyed the scene of primitive love run amok. -The assault on the hapless manager, no longer merely imminent, was -developing rapidly into a crashing reality. The love-crazed Dolly had -risen to her toes and hunched forward to gain the maximum devastation -from the blow. - -"Hurry!" Marc said, and Toffee drew her hand down sharply over the -face of the ring. The results in addition to being instantaneous were -staggeringly bizarre. - -The stalking murderess abandoned her batting stance with a cry and -straightened up throwing her hands over her head. The bat, gaining its -freedom all of a rush sailed high in the air and fell to the floor with -a crash. Dolly, as suddenly as she had righted herself, fell into a -tormented crouch and hugged her bottom with both arms in a fair fit of -devotion to the awful thing. Her glittering eyes seemed to spin wildly -in their sockets, and she clenched her teeth in a manner suggesting -that she had bitten into a high voltage socket and was prepared to blow -a whole bin full of fuses. - -"_Yeeeee-ow!_" she yelled in shrill tones. - - * * * * * - -The captive manager, having devined from the tone of Dolly's voice -that the skull-splitting project had run into a snag, opened his eyes -and glanced around hopefully. One peek, however, and his expression -underwent a change, so that he looked for all the world like a young -man who would have preferred immeasurably having his skull crushed to -being confronted in this awful way with a crouching, teeth-gritting -female who beyond any question of a doubt was preparing to spring upon -him and rend him limb from limb with her bare fangs. He shuddered -visibly and looked away. His lips quivered over prayers for an easy -deliverance of his immortal soul. Toffee and Marc hurried forward to -reassure him. - -Once the young man was released, he mopped his brow, glanced around -with a sigh, and instantly spotted the fact that there remained -something in the situation to be explained. - -"What's the matter with her?" he asked of his erstwhile captor. "Why is -she all hunkered down like that?" - -"Either she's a hard loser," Toffee murmured, "or she needs more -roughage. It's hard to say at a glance." She made a quick surreptitious -pass at her ring, and the girl in question fell back limply on the -false grass before the teepee. - -"Who prodded me with a riveting machine?" she asked belligerently. - -"I wish I had," the manager said, rubbing his ankle. He looked at the -trap. "Damn thing's got a nasty bite. I tell you if I were a bear I'd -be very careful around those things." - -"You can't blame a girl if she's got ingenuity," Dolly said sullenly. -"I almost got you, too, you slippery devil." - -"You're fired," the manager said loftily. - -"Oh, yeah?" Dolly said. "I don't quit, see? I haven't even tried guns, -knives, hand grenades, bayonets, hand-to-hand combat and mousetraps -yet. I'm starting in on light side-arms tomorrow." - -"Look," Marc said to the manager. "The young lady would like something -to wear. We're in a hurry. I've got to get back home...." - -"Fine," the manager said. "I was on my way to the fashion salon when -this morbid little affair befell me. I'm to meet Congressman Bloodsop -there, too; he wanted to sit and look at the models. Come along." - -And the three of them left, leaving the luckless Dolly thoughtfully -testing the blade of a machete with the tips of her fingers. - -"You see?" Toffee said to Marc. "You see how easily differences can be -settled under the proper guidance?" - - * * * * * - -The salon, it turned out, was on the fifth floor of the Empire. On the -way the manager paused briefly in the silver department to confer with -a small, detached looking lady called Miss Winters. - -"Things going well?" he asked. - -"Oh, divinely!" Miss Winters twittered. "Just like magic. They're -simply cleaning out the department." - -"Bolting the meat and picking the bones, eh?" the manager beamed. -"Stealing everything in sight, are they?" - -"Oh, just!" Miss Winters nodded. "To give them encouragement, every so -often I close my eyes and feign deep concentration. Every time I open -my eyes the place looks just a little more like a desert wasteland." - -"Just blinking away the merchandise, so to speak?" - -"How cleverly you put it, Mr. Baker! You always were the one with the -well-turned phrase, though." She colored prettily at her own boldness. -"How would you like to hear that we've lost better than twenty thousand -dollars just since opening this morning?" - -"Splendid!" Mr. Baker said. "Splendid! Just keep up the good work, Miss -Winters, and we'll be out of business in no time at all." As he turned -away he smiled broadly at Marc and Toffee. "The sooner we unload all -this junk the sooner we can close up and await the end with composure. -As a matter of fact the advertising department has devised a little -slogan: Steal at the Empire Before you Roast in Hellfire! Clever, eh?" - -"Frightfully," Toffee said, "in the strictest sense of the word." - -"Good grief," Marc said. "They're so used to the idea of dying, they're -getting flip about it." - -"Maybe it's all for the best," Toffee said. "At least their last days -will be pleasant." - - * * * * * - -In the grey coolness of the fashion salon, Toffee, Marc and Mr. Baker, -the manager, sank into low, comfortable chairs and accepted the -services of a dark, aloof young lady who brought them drinks in tall, -cool glasses. An orchestra played muted background music as from a -misted distance. All in all the salon was a den of pleasant relaxation. - -Girls of all types and unparalleled beauty paraded constantly in the -latest words from the fashion centers of the world. Some of the fashion -designers, Toffee concluded approvingly, were given to very brief and -suggestive words. She also noted--again with approval--that most of -those in attendance were males. - -"They come here to make dates with the models," the manager explained. -"But then the models come here to make dates with the men, so it's all -right. I see Congressman Bloodsop hasn't arrived yet." - -Toffee leaned forward interestedly. "The congressman?" she said. "Tell -me, is this Congressman Bloodsop a man of influence? Does he have -connections in high places?" - -Marc interrupted the answer. "Pick out some clothes and let's leave," -he said impatiently. "I have to get home and start looking for Julie." - -"That can wait," Toffee said airily. She turned back to Mr. Baker with -a smile. "You were saying...?" - -"The congressman has the best of connections," he said. "He's only been -in office six months and he's already bilked the nation of millions." - -"I see," Toffee said thoughtfully. "And if you were me and were picking -out a dress that would interest Congressman Bloodsop what kind would -you choose?" - -"Something unobtrusive," the manager said. "Nothing to obscure the -view." - -"I see," Toffee said. "The old gaffer has an eye out?" - -"Both eyes. And so far out you could tick them off with a match." - -"Something of a rounder, eh?" - -"Everything of a rounder." - -"Sounds almost too easy," Toffee mused. - -"Here, now," Marc broke in. "What are you up to?" - -"Nothing," Toffee said with great innocence. "A girl likes to make a -good impression on persons of importance." She pointed to the model -across the room who was displaying, besides quite a lot of epidermis, a -dress made of a vaporish material which had been cut with an extremely -frugal hand--almost grudging. "That dress--could I have that one?" - -"Oh, that's a dinger, isn't it?" the manager said approvingly. "You -might say it was practically made for Congressman Bloodsop." He brought -the model over with a nod of the head. - -"Madam wishes to see the dress?" the girl asked. - -"Madam wishes to see the dress on madam," Toffee said. "The sooner the -better." - -"You got guts, honey," the model said. "And you'll need them, too, to -keep this thing up." - - * * * * * - -The two of them adjourned to the dressing rooms and Toffee returned a -moment later, the very picture of the most recent thing in scandalous -_chic_. She joined Marc and Mr. Baker and took her place between them. - -"How do you like it?" she asked Marc. - -"You'd be more modest in a plastic shower curtain," Marc said. He -boosted himself forward. "Come on." - -"I want to meet the congressman," Toffee said. And even as she spoke a -portly gentleman with a ruddy face and almost theatrically white hair -appeared in the entry and started forward. "And I think I'm about to." - -At the manager's limp wave, Congressman Orvil Bloodsop, the -accomplished absconder of public funds, presented himself before the -company. His eyes, true to forecast, registered a lively appreciation -at the sight of Toffee. He nodded perfunctorily to Marc. - -"These are some people I met in sporting goods," the manager said. "I -haven't the least idea what their names are--or if they have any at -all. They can tell you, if they think it's wise." - -"What's in a name?" the congressman said with hackneyed gallantry. -He got himself a chair and wedged it deftly between Toffee's and the -manager's. "It's the ... uh ... heart that counts, eh?" He settled -himself with a snort. "I don't believe I've ever seen you around -before, dear. Where are you from?" - -Toffee lowered her lashes with artful mystery. "A long way away," she -said huskily. - -"Stop that," Marc said. "Stop sounding like a movie vamp with a bad -cold and come on." - -"I have things to discuss with the congressman, haven't I, Congressman -Bloodsop?" - -"Why, of course, dear," the congressman said, leering at the things he -hoped she referred to. - -"What things?" Marc asked crudely. - -"You'll see," Toffee said. "Enjoy the passing scenery." She turned back -to Congressman Bloodsop. "I hear you've got some wonderful connections." - -"Some of the best, dear." - -"In Washington?" - -"Straight up to the President," Orvil Bloodsop boasted. "All the way -up." - -"The President?" Toffee said. "Who's that?" - - * * * * * - -The congressman looked at her twice to make sure she wasn't joking. -"Why the President is Lemons Flemm," he said. "You know that. But -perhaps you remember Lemons when he was a television comedian. That's -how Lemons got elected, you know. - -"During campaign time Lemons' sponsor refused to give up his air time -for the candidates speeches. As a result everyone was trying to watch -Lemons and the candidates at the same time, and they got confused. -When they counted the votes, Lemons was elected. - -"And he's made the most entertaining president we've ever had. Taxes -up one day and down the next. Anything for a laugh. Anything and -everything goes." - -"I see," Toffee said. "This comedian, then, is at the head of the -government?" - -"Right on the top of the heap. However, if any of us ever live to -see another election I doubt that Lemons will be reelected. It seems -that during the campaign there were a lot of people who thought the -candidates were a lot funnier than Lemons." - -"But this Lemons Flemm is running things?" - -"A mile a minute," Orvil Bloodsop nodded. - -"Then if someone were in possession of a really decisive secret weapon -he'd be the man to contact, wouldn't he?" - -"I doubt if he'd be interested," the congressman said. "Secret weapons -have been done to death lately. Everyone's sick of them." - -"Suppose this were something that gets in there where it does the most -good and really makes itself felt?" Toffee asked anxiously. - -"Something to make 'em rare back and take notice, huh?" - -"Exactly." - -"I see," the congressman said. "Then you're a foreign spy, aren't you, -selling out the old country? You've already said you were from far -away. Tell me, how do you like our little country?" - -"Love it," Toffee said. "That's why I want so badly to meet your -President." She crossed her legs carefully, and no part of the movement -was overlooked by the congressman. - -"I see," he said. "You want to get up in the world where the bidding is -high?" - -"That's the idea," Toffee said. "Sort of wriggle my way into the -affairs of state, so to speak." - -"Brings to mind an exciting picture," the congressman commented. "Of -course the best way to crash Washington society is to be investigated -by the Congress. You may not believe it, dear, but we've made some -of the very best international figures. But it's difficult to be -investigated, especially for a spy like yourself, with credentials and -all. That's too easy, and we have to concentrate on the more difficult -cases--our personal enemies, for instance. However, a girl with -your--uh--attributes might prove of sufficient diversion to warrant -special attention." - -"This Congress," Toffee said. "What is it?" - -"Oh, just a body of men." - -"Really!" Toffee's interest shot ahead like an arrow discharged from a -sixty pound bow. "I would be investigated by this body of men?" - -"Minutely, honey," the congressman assured her. "And from every angle." - - * * * * * - -Toffee was almost beside herself with anticipation; she almost forgot -the purpose at hand. "I'll kill 'em," she said. She composed herself. -"Could you arrange to have me hauled up for investigation?" - -"Well ... I wouldn't do it for just anyone, you know." - -"But you would for me, wouldn't you? Don't forget; I do have a secret -weapon." - -"I'm not forgetting," the congressman murmured. "No, indeed. However, -I'll have to convince the Congress that you're a substantial menace." -He was thoughtful for a moment. "I think I'll call the Congressman from -Idaho and say that you've been insulting his wife. I think something -can be worked out." He rose. - -"Just a minute," Toffee said. "There's just one more thing; include my -friend, Mr. Pillsworth. Say he's been insulting Texas." - -"Well...." the congressman hesitated. - -"Please," Toffee cooed. "He might get his feelings hurt if we left him -out." - -"Well, okay," the congressman agreed, and left. - -Seeing that there was an opening, Marc edged closer. "Is the -congressman leaving?" he asked. - -"He'll be right back," Toffee said pleasantly. "He's gone off to -arrange something for me." - -"What?" Marc said evenly. "Just what has he gone off to arrange?" - -"Oh, just a little investigation." - -"What kind of an investigation?" - -"He mentioned something called Congress," Toffee said. "I think it's -some kind of a club he belongs to." - -"A Congressional investigation?" - -"Uh-huh," Toffee nodded. "I believe those were his very words." - -"Who's going to be investigated?" - -Toffee smiled the sublimely innocent smile of one of heaven's nicer -angels. "Me," she announced, "and you." - -"_What!_" Marc jumped to his feet as though he'd been wrenched by a -pulley. "Why you...! What did you tell that old idiot?" - -"Nothing really," Toffee said. "I just told him I had a secret weapon, -and he assumed the rest. He's including you as a personal favor." - -"Dear God in heaven!" Marc yelped. "Let's get out of here before he -comes back!" - -"Oh, no!" Toffee cried. "I have to wait and see if he could arrange it." - -"Come on!" Marc said, taking her by the arm and dragging her out of her -chair. "Where'd he go? We'll go the other way." - -"I must say I don't understand your attitude," Toffee said woundedly, -following him into the entry. "After I worked like a demon to charm -the daffy old vulture...." - -"_Just_ like a demon!" Marc said hotly. "_Exactly_ like a demon! You -take the words from my mouth." - -"And I should dip them in cyanide and put them right back!" Toffee -said. "I suppose it hasn't penetrated your blunted intelligence that -I'm only trying to do something to help save this preposterous world of -yours." - -"I see," Marc said. "You propose to save the world by ruining me. -That makes such brilliant sense it fairly blinds me." By now they -had reached the outer hallway and were covering space rapidly in the -direction of the elevators. - -"I'm not going to stand for it!" Marc said testily. "And that's my -message to you." He stopped before the elevators and placed his finger -firmly to the button. "If you think I'm going to allow my life to be -governed by the noxious fermentations of that fluttering mind of -yours ... you're wrong!" - - * * * * * - -Toffee parted her lips for an angry reply, but just then the door -across the hall opened, and Congressman Bloodsop appeared on the scene. -His ruddy face was wreathed with smiles. - -"Ah, there you are!" he boomed expansively. "Well, the news is good -tonight. You're to be investigated tomorrow. I'm to take you into -custody right now, and there'll be a couple of government boys to -guard you. You're to stay at my home under guard tonight, and we'll -fly up to Washington in the morning for the festivities." He swayed -back on his heels in a seizure of self-appreciation. "Fast action, eh?" - -"Mr. Bloodsop...!" Marc sputtered. "Mr. Bloodsop...!" - -But the congressman held up a hand. "No need to thank me, boy," he -said. "It's nothing to pull a few strings for friends." - -"Mr. Blood...!" - -Just then the elevator doors slid back to disclose Dolly, the -impassioned wild-gamester, struggling with the stringy vagaries of an -enormous tuna net. She staggered forward and paused to disentangle a -cork float from the door latch. Then, hunched forward under her burden, -she started determinedly toward the salon. - -"On the scent again already?" Toffee inquired amiably. - -Dolly stopped and peered back over her muscular shoulder. "Uh-huh," she -panted. "Only this time I've got a switcheroo for the sonofagun. This -time I not only toss him into the trap but fling myself in after him." -She winked. "Get it?" - -"In detail," Toffee said. She turned to Marc. "Isn't it nice to meet -a girl who knows her own mind--even when it's cracked seven ways to -Sunday?" - -"You should know," Marc glowered. "You should damned well know, you -little heller." - -Congressman Bloodsop's study was a mammoth vault paneled solidly with -the finest oak that purloined money could buy. It was vast-ceilinged -and set solidly at one end with leaded windows of a thousand panes. -Beyond the windows, like a magazine illustration, one could see formal -gardens softened with twilight. To Toffee's mind it fairly stank with -class. - - * * * * * - -From the depths of her leather-covered chair, she lowered her coffee -cup to the table and observed the spectacle of Congressman Bloodsop -sitting like a high magistrate behind a kennel-sized mahogany desk. - -"Do the guards _have_ to stay outside in the hallway?" she asked. -"Won't they be lonesome?" - -"A matter of form, dear," the congressman said. "Looks good. Besides, -I've told the maid to give them tea." - -Marc standing beside the fireplace stirred with agitation. "Mr. -Bloodsop...!" - -The congressman raised his eyes with slow patience. "Young man," he -said evenly. "Is there something the matter with you? What is this -curious compulsion of yours to rasp my name every few minutes? If you -have something to say, say it." - -"Yes, Marc," Toffee said sweetly. "Don't let the congressman think -you're dull." - -Marc choked, presumably with emotion. "I only wanted to inquire just -why I can't use the telephone to try to find my wife?" he said in a -strained voice. - -"Another matter of form," the congressman said. "Good heavens, man, do -you really care so much to find your wife? It's the most extraordinary -thing I've ever heard of. I must remind you that you and the young lady -now constitute a matter for official inquiry." - -Marc clenched his fists tight at his sides. "Oh, Christ!" he wailed. - -"At least he's shouting for someone else for a change," the congressman -said complacently. "An erratic type. Subversives usually are, though. -Next he'll be calling for Phillip Morris." - -"Poor Marc," Toffee put in appealingly. "He just can't bring himself to -view the end of civilization with the same happy composure the rest of -us do. It upsets him." - -"No use fighting the inevitable," the congressman said. "When the whole -country has gone gypsy, you might just as well snatch up your skirts, -so to speak, and join in the innocent merriment." - -"Seems a trifle fatalistic," Toffee said. "Sometimes I rather agree -with Marc that you owe it to yourself to resist to the end ... even if -it's only an attitude. It seems more ... human ... somehow." - -"Thank you for that much," Marc said with heavy irony. "At least my -attitude pleases you." - -"Welcome, I'm sure," Toffee murmured, then turned back to the -congressman. "Tell me, congressman, just who is it that's going to do -all this bomb dropping anyway? I haven't heard any name mentioned yet." - - * * * * * - -The congressman gazed at her. "You mean you're not really one of them, -after all? You're with another interest?" - -"A private concern, you might say," Toffee said. - -"Well, it's a good thing we're investigating you then," the congressman -said. "One does like to know who's killing one, you know. It gives you -a clue whom to curse with your dying breath." - -"But getting back to these others," Toffee said, "who is it? What -country, I mean?" - -"Why, You Know Where, of course," the congressman said. - -"I beg your pardon?" - -"You Know Where, who else?" - -"Did someone put something in my coffee," Toffee asked, "or are you -just being terribly coy about this thing?" - -"I'm not being coy at all, damm-it," the congressman said. "You Know -Where is the country." - -"Good grief," Toffee said, "now he's lapsing into baby talk. Very well, -congressman, if you can't bring yourself to tell me the name of the -country in a straightforward manner, perhaps you'll just mention the -man who's at the head of it. Just as a hint." - -"You Know Who," the congressman said flatly. - -For a long moment there was silence as Toffee gazed toward the gardens -with apparent serenity. - -"All right, congressman," she said presently. "Just forget the whole -thing. Forget I even mentioned it." - -"Come here," the congressman said, drawing a globe atlas forward across -his desk. "I'll show you." - -Toffee got up and crossed to the desk. She followed the congressman's -finger as it swept across the United States, brushed aside the Hawaiian -Islands, and came to rest on a large country on the soiled outskirts of -Europe. Quite plainly the country was marked: YOU KNOW WHERE. - -"For heaven's sake!" Toffee exclaimed. "Why, that's...!" - -"Don't!" the congressman broke in frightenedly. "Don't say that name! -It's illegal. It was the government's idea that we should ignore the -country, refuse to recognize it. It was hoped that if we just didn't -speak to it any more and acted as though we didn't know it was there, -it would go away and leave us alone. The use of the name was outlawed -five years ago. Unfortunately, it's still there so we have to call it -something." - -"Very shrewd," Toffee said. "Reminds one of the tactics of sulky -children. And this You Know Who, I suppose, is the head of the -government there?" - - * * * * * - -The congressman reached across the desk and drew a newspaper toward -them. On the front page was the picture of an elderly man in a short -choke-collar effect. He had penetrating eyes and a drooping mustache. - -"Oh," Toffee said, "you mean...!" - -"You Know Who," the congressman supplied quickly. - -"Of course," Toffee agreed. "Then as I see it the country is faced with -the question of whether You Know Who from You Know Where is going to -drop you know what on the USA?" - -"Not whether," the congressman amended, "but when. Otherwise, you have -stated the situation in a nutshell." - -"And I can't think of a better place for it either," Toffee murmured. -"Outside of a pecan pie it's the nuttiest situation I've ever heard of." - -"Well," the congressman said, "there's nothing to be done about it now. -Unless, of course, your secret weapon has some bearing on the crisis. -But I doubt it. We've piled secret weapon on secret weapon and the -situation has simply worsened with each one. It's very disheartening." - -"I see," Toffee reflected. "It makes a murky state of affairs. However, -if you could get people away from the idea of blowing each other up and -reduce them to the oldfashioned, intimate methods of warfare...." - -"Oh, Lord!" Marc moaned aggrievedly. - -"Well," the congressman sighed, "he's still in the religious cycle at -least." - -At that moment the door opened at the far end of the room, and a -heavy-lidded French maid appeared in the opening and leaned exhaustedly -against the sill. - -"Someone smeared a French pastry on the woodwork," Toffee commented -dryly. - -"I have served the gentlemen in the hall tea for three hours," the maid -sighed, shoving her hair out of her eyes. "They are the devil himself. -They play funloving games, like children." She paused and sighed again. -"Dinner is served, I presume." - -The congressman boosted himself out of his chair. "I will speak to -those funloving gorillas in person," he said. He turned to Toffee. "Are -you hungry, my dear?" - -"Famished," Toffee said, and looked at Marc. "And you?" - -"Yeah," Marc said dolefully. "My wife is gone, my business is ruined, -my world is about to go up in smoke--but what the heck!" - -He turned a sardonic eye on the congressman. "Lead on," he said. -"Play, gypsy, play!" - - * * * * * - -Toffee sat down gingerly on the corner of the bed and surveyed the -congressman's best guest room with voluptuous appreciation. It was a -production in lace and rococo gilt in which the curly-cued, beflounced -bed was lost like a fireworks display in a gaudy sunset. Toffee only -regretted that such splendor, for her part, was only to be wasted. - -It was not that she would not have willingly stayed the night there, -had she the choice--but she had not. Being a thought projection of -Marc's conscious mind, she would not exist in the material world when -Marc slept. She had to return to the land of his imagination until -he awoke again; then she would rematerialize wherever she chose. She -looked at the bed, imagined the roseate picture of herself amongst the -linens and laces, and sighed a sigh of regret. - -She removed herself from the bed, went to the door and listened. There -were sounds; the guard was still there. The other guard would be posted -at Marc's door. - -Toffee glanced at the ornamental clock on the bedstand. It was well -after midnight, and she was still in the land of reality. That meant -that Marc was still awake--and still worrying about Julie--and the -bombs. - -She crossed to the bed, sat down as before, and ran her hand absently -over the lace coverlette. Something had to be done to help Marc before -he became a nerve case. It was true that she had gained the attention -of the law makers, but now it seemed that the law makers were as -irresponsible a group as one could wish for. And there might not be -much time left. Something had to be done ... something big ... and in -a hurry. If either side could be made to see the sheer idiocy of the -situation. If, for instance, You Know Where.... - -Suddenly Toffee stood up. - -"My gosh!" she cried. "If I could only...!" - -She stopped suddenly and a gasp came to her lips. Even as she did so -her very being seemed to fade a bit. - -"Oh, no!" she cried. Then slowly she became more completely -materialized again; Marc had yawned. She ran to the door and threw it -open. Instantly the guard, a youngish ape in a dark suit, appeared -before her. - -"Yes, miss?" - -"I've got to see Mr. Pillsworth!" Toffee cried. "He's going to sleep -and he mustn't! Not yet." She started forward, but the guard stood firm. - -"Sorry, miss," he said. "You're not permitted to see Mr. Pillsworth -tonight." - -"But I must!" Toffee cried. "He has to stay awake until...!" - -"I'm sorry, miss," the guard said, then looked at Toffee more closely. -"Aren't you feeling well, Miss? You look a trifle pale around the -gills." - -"And what's worse," Toffee said, "I _feel_ pale too." - -"Well," the guard said helpfully, "I saw an advertisement once about -a lady who recommended a vegetable compound very highly. Of course I -couldn't be positive but I believe the lady's name was Sylvia Pinkham, -or something of the sort. She was a very kind looking old lady...." - - * * * * * - -"Look," Toffee put in distractedly, "could I go to the study if you -came with me? It's terribly important." - -"Well," the guard reckoned, "all right. But don't you think you ought -to lie down. This lady ... Sylvia ... seemed to think that other ladies -should lie down...." - -"Blast Sylvia Pinkham," Toffee said. "And blast her compound, too. Come -on. Hurry!" - -Together they hastened down the stairs. On the first floor the guard -led the way to the study and switched on the lights. He watched Toffee -with concern as she swept past him into the room. - -"My, miss," he said. "You're looking paler every minute. You'll soon be -nothing more than a ghost the way you're going." - -Heedless, Toffee ran to the desk. There she reached for the globe and -turned it with a hurried hand. The guard joined her curiously. - -"Let's see," Toffee mused. "We're here. You Know Where is there. If you -concentrated in a straight line in that direction...." - -"Miss," the guard said softly. "I'm sure Miss Sylvia Pinkham wouldn't -like it at all...." - -"And I wouldn't like Miss Sylvia Pinkham at all," Toffee said shortly. -She turned back to the globe. "This must be the capital of You Know -Where, this heavy black dot over here. It is, isn't it?" - -"Yes, Miss. But if you're thinking of going there, they won't let you -in, you know. There's the Brass Curtain." - -"I thought it was iron," Toffee said. - -"It used to be. But after a few dealings with those people everyone -decided it must be brass." - -Without comment Toffee snatched up the newspaper and studied the -picture of You Know Who as though she were committing the unlovely -features to memory. Finally she set it aside and turned to the guard. - -"There now," she said. "I think I've got everything fairly straight in -mind. There's just one thing. Mr. Pillsworth is going to sleep now. -Don't let him sleep too long--just a little while, then wake him up." - -"Are you certain he'll want to...?" the guard began. - -"Don't forget," Toffee said positively. "It's a matter of life and -death." - -"Well, okay," the guard agreed. "I'll tell him you said...!" - -Then, with a gasp, the poor man's voice descended down his throat with -the gritty rattle of a parcel of bones dumped into a disposal. As he -watched, shaken to the very roots of his soul, the girl by the desk -gradually faded into thin air.... - - * * * * * - -Dusk had come to a distant land. - -Toffee stood in the formidable square and looked with disfavor on the -great concrete pilings that brooded over the clear area in the center -and isolated it from the waning light of day. Functional architecture, -with frippery--cold, grey and starkly oppressive. Very functional, like -a straight jacket, and just as pleasant to look at. - -There were hardly any signs of human life. A couple of men, so grey and -so gross that they seemed only a part of the buildings around them, -lumbered down the steps of the largest and most formidable of the -structures, stopped to look at Toffee curiously, then passed on. Toffee -shrugged and turned toward the building from which they had just come. -The best way to obtain information, after all, was to ask someone for -it. And if those men had just come from the building, life must exist -inside the place in spite of appearances. - -She had no more than set foot on the steps of the place, however, than -life suddenly descended upon her in a rush; two grey-uniformed guards, -seemingly patterned very closely on the physical and spiritual makeup -of the gorilla, clumped down the steps toward her with bayonets fixed. -One of them barked something that, to Toffee, had no specific meaning. -The bayonets, pointing in the vicinity of her mid-section, spoke with -great eloquence. Toffee felt keenly that the moment called for a -disarming smile. - -"Don't be silly, boys," she said with arch modulation. "There's no -occasion for manly demonstrations." - -There was a sputtered, incoherent exchange between the two, -interspersed with moments of silence which allowed them time to stare -in open-mouthed wonderment at the lightly-swathed redhead before them. -Toffee listened to this for what seemed the proper social interval, -then started determinedly forward. The bayonets, however, thrust a -little closer, took all the verve and sweep out of the gesture. - -"Now, kids," Toffee said, "I don't want to have to get rough with -you." And so saying she reached out, delicately parted the bayonets, -and passed between them. Their owners, obviously unused to this -open flaunting of the sword, turned to stare after her in petrified -astonishment. After a stunned silence, there ensued a growl-and-spit -interchange of thought on the matter. - -Though Toffee had no way of knowing it, one aborigine inquired of the -other if they were eye to eye in the opinion that they were seeing -things. The other replied in the affirmative, adding that if it were -not illegal to entertain such notions, he might venture that they had -just been bypassed by an angel from heaven. Of course, since everyone -knew that heaven and angels did not exist, the notion was silly. - -"Nothing descends from heaven but bombs," his companion observed with -native starkness. "The Great Leader has said it is so." - -"Then it is so, and we are only the victims of a delusion." - -Shrugging their massive shoulders they returned to their posts and -hoped for the best. - - * * * * * - -Inside the building Toffee found herself confronted by a wide foyer -from which innumerable corridors stretched away in all directions. -Guards of a similar stamp to those who had accosted her on the steps -literally infested the place, two to the corridor. They seemed so -much a part of the sombre decor, however, that Toffee did not notice -them at once. She had proceeded nearly to the center of the room -before, overtaken by a certain feeling of uneasiness, she stopped and -reconnoitered. - -As she glanced around, the walls began to bristle with bayonets. She -appraised this nasty state of affairs with concern and decided to adopt -the policy of the congressman and his colleagues. A song on her lips, -if not in her heart, she fixed her eyes straight ahead on the center -corridor and resumed nonchalantly in that direction--perhaps if she -pretended that these bayoneted orangoutangs were beneath her notice -they might go away and leave her alone. They didn't appear to be the -friendly, informative type anyway. - -For one brief moment it seemed that the ruse, by dint of sheer -boldness, was going to work. Toffee was almost to the corridor when one -of the benumbed guards suddenly began to vocalize in an overwrought -fashion. In a voice that slammed against the vaulted ceiling like -a trumpet blast he shouted something that sounded loosely like, -"Gamnovitch!" His tone did not convey the feeling of warm welcome. -Toffee, sizing the situation up as the sort that only comes to a head -with delay, bolted. - -She darted into the corridor and kept going at a pace that utilized her -lovely legs to the utmost. A noisy clatter from the rear, however, told -her that she was not in the sprint just for exercise. She renewed her -efforts. Then suddenly stopped. - -It wasn't so much that the corridor terminated in a huge doorway only -a few yards ahead--though that was bad news enough--the real thing was -that before the door there stood not two but four enormous guards, -supplied like the others with those ugly weapons. The guards and Toffee -caught sight of each other simultaneously, but the really filthy part -of it was that the surprise element in the incident shoved the guards -into action while it only held Toffee motionless. - - * * * * * - -Toffee needed no one to tell her she was about to be surrounded. -"I _would_ have to get into this place," she sighed. "It must be -a barracks for guards." She watched with resignation as the bulky -bayoneters formed a prickly circle around her. She chose the most -likely-looking of her captors and smiled enchantingly into his sub-ugly -face. But the favored one only reciprocated with a small jabbing -gesture which was enthusiastically picked up and elaborated upon by -his companions. Toffee was the first to realize that the situation was -climbing toward that state which is often described as 'serious.' - -"Look out, you lumbering oafs," she said hotly. "You could play hell -with a lady's dainties with that sort of thing." - -She considered her ring and the hoard of armed brutes around her; there -were too many of them to deal with effectively. The situation called -for help, and Toffee took her cue from the situation; though she didn't -know the language she was willing to kick it around a bit. - -"Helpovitch!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "Helpovitch!" - -The result that followed was as instantaneous as it was unexpected. No -sooner had Toffee's voice split the air of the hallway than the guards -froze where they were and stared at her in a transfix of horror. Toffee -hadn't the faintest notion of what she had said but she was awfully -glad to have said it. - -Experimentally she made a movement; the guards remained still. She -stepped out of the circle, and one of the guards made a small movement -of protest. - -"Helpovitch, you rat," Toffee said. "You heard me." - -The guard remained motionless. - -Toffee paused, selected the door at the end of the hall as her -destination, and went rapidly toward it. As she drew abreast of it, -it opened just a crack and an ear presented itself in the opening. -Apparently someone had been disturbed by the noise in the hall. Toffee -leaned forward and placed her mouth close to the ear. - -"Helpovitch," she whispered. - -There was a moment, then the ear shuddered delicately, after which -it turned red and withdrew quickly from sight. Here, Toffee realized, -was the sort of ear that responded to a firm hand. She shoved the -door open, stepped inside, and closed it behind her. Then she turned -about--and stopped short. - - * * * * * - -It wasn't so much the room which, large and marbled, was a gasping -matter all in itself--but the room's occupant; the ear had been -misleading for its owner was none other than You Know Who himself. -Between the Great Leader and Toffee there wasn't much to choose for -goggle-eyed surprise. Toffee, however, was the first to recover from -the encounter. - -"Well," she said, "just the old villain I'm looking for!" - -The Great Leader, his eyes retreating back into their sockets, set -his mustache atremble with a great sucking breath and launched into a -series of resonant sounds. - -"Knock it off," Toffee commanded. "You're making a fog in here. -Besides, I can't understand a word of that juicy jazz." - -"So!" the Leader exploded. "Who iss? How you got har, hah?" - -"Well," Toffee murmured relievedly, "at least you can speak -English--using the language loosely, that is." - -"How come you har, hey?" the Leader insisted truculently. "Why not -soldiers kill you forst?" - -"They had it in mind," Toffee said, "but I just said 'helpovitch' to -them, and they dropped the whole thing." - -"Vooman!" the Leader gasped. "You say soch dorty vord it is only -sooprise soldiers do not drop teeth along with thing!" He waved his -hand. "Go vay, dorty gorl! Screm!" - -"For Pete's sake!" Toffee said. "What does the word mean?" - -"Don't ask!" the Leader gasped, throwing up his hands. "You make me -drop whole thing, too! Go vay or I call soldiers and tall tham shoot -you all over--oop!--down!" He started toward the door. "Tarrible gorl!" - -"Hold it, Cecil," Toffee said. "You touch that door and I'll pull off a -shindig that'll make you sad all over." - -The Leader stopped and regarded her uncertainly. "You American vooman -spy, hah?" he demanded. "You think you smart. Vell, you be dad soon, -vhat you think, hay?" - -"I think you're going to be reasonable and do what I say, hey," Toffee -answered firmly. "Either that or you're going to get the surprise of -your life." - -"Who iss you anyway?" - -"An avenging angel," Toffee said. "That'll do for now." - -"Nonsanse!" the Leader snorted. "No soch thing angel. Anyvay, angel -vould not say dorty vords, make soldiers drop things." - -"Okay," Toffee said, "so I'm no angel. You're right there, pop. But I'm -avenging, and don't you forget it." - - * * * * * - -A new thought crossed the seething mind of the Leader. "You know who -you talk to so mean?" - -"Sure, Mac," Toffee said. "I know you." - -"Than I tall you drop dad, you gotta do it, hah?" - -"Huh-uh," Toffee said, shaking her head. "And let's have no more sass -about killing people. Now let's get down to brass doorpulls...." - -But just at that moment the soldiers outside not only got down to -doorpulls, but pulled them: the room began to swarm. - -"If I'd knew you were coming," Toffee said, "I'd have baked a snake." -Nevertheless, she retreated warily. The guards paused uncertainly -before her and started babbling among themselves. - -"Now!" the Leader said triumphantly. - -But Toffee pointed imperiously to the gabby guards. "What are those -birds saying about me?" she demanded. "I've got a right to know." - -The Leader paused to listen, then nodded with comprehension. - -"Forst man say he think you foreign spy because you look nothing like -voomans from this country. Other man say he's right because if you var -from here you vould haf thick lags like his wife who iss von big slob. -Forst man say he can say that again for his vife who iss so big slob -you gotta say it twice to describe her." The Leader paused to consider -this exchange and suddenly smote his brow. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "Now -iss clear! You deganerate product of America sant har to make men -unrastful with slobbish female population. So!" - -"It's a side-line I hadn't thought of," Toffee said and smiled -engagingly at the guards. "But if you think it'll work...." - -"Iss no good you viggle around and look saxy," the Leader put in -sullenly. "You gonna get shot good, you deganerate boopsy daisy." He -turned to the guards and shouted an order which had but one meaning in -any language. The men instantly formed a single rank with mechanical -precision and raised their rifles toward Toffee, albeit with a certain -gleam of reluctance in their eyes. - -"Now you gonna gat it," the Leader said. - -But Toffee only smiled. "I've told you," she said, "I'm an avenging -angel. And we angels are practically indestructible." - -"Ve see," the Leader snorted. "So!" He turned to the guards and barked -an order that touched off a confusion of explosion and gun smoke. -In the moment that ensued, as the smoke settled, there was a tense -silence. This was followed by a many-throated cry of alarm. - -Toffee, still smiling, and completely unscathed, stepped lightly -through the screen of smoke and presented herself to the company at -large. - -"What would you like for an encore?" she asked. - -She did not bother, of course, to explain that she could not possibly -be destroyed as long as Marc's mind held the image of her as a live -being. She would always be just as Marc imagined her and he quite -evidently was not thinking of her as dead at the moment. - - * * * * * - -As she moved forward, the guards took a faltering step backwards. Then, -as a man, they turned and fled the room, slamming the door after them. - -Toffee shrugged lightly, turned and gazed about. The Leader was no -longer in evidence. She paused to consider briefly, then crossed to the -large desk in the center of the room, and bent down to peer underneath. - -"You may as well come out," she said. "I see you." - -The Leader's head appeared apprehensively in the opening. "Go vay," he -said. "Vhy you not dad? You crazy?" - -"Crawl out of there, Sam," Toffee commanded. "Loosen that tight collar -of yours and get set for a lesson in future history. You can frolic -about on the floor later." - -Slowly the great man emerged and stood before her. Toffee's refusal to -die or even get decently dented had shaken him to the very foundations. -Furtively he eyed the bullet-scarred wall. - -"Shame," Toffee said. "You've been naughty, Jasper. Sit down." - -He did as he was told, looking as though he might burst into tears at -any moment. "Vhy you not dad lak hangnail?" he insisted. "You got an -iron gordle?" - -"I simply can't be killed," Toffee said. "I just can't seem to bring -myself around to a serious frame of mind about guns and knives and that -sort of trash. Which leads me to the problem at hand. I've got a plan -for you, kiddo, and though it won't take five years, we've got to shake -a leg." She glanced at the row of buttons and the speaker on the desk. -"You know what you're going to do?" - -"No," the Leader said warily. "Vhat?" - -"You're going to start pressing those buttons, one at a time, from -right to left. You're going to talk to all the big shots wired to those -buttons and you're going to order the country demobilized, tonight." - -"Hah?" the Leader said. "And since vhen?" - -"Right now," Toffee said. "You are going to have every bomb and every -facility for making bombs blown to dust in the cool of the night. Every -piece of live ammunition in the country is going to be laid to rest. -By your order. So get busy and start having the danger areas cleared." - -The Leader only stared at her in blinking disbelief. - -"Voop!" he burped with deep emotion. - -"And what is the meaning of that remark?" Toffee asked. - -"Means you iss goofy. Means you got bats in the bonnet." - -"And you're going to have ants in the pants if you don't start -pressing your moist little finger to those buttons." Toffee eyed him -humorlessly. "Are you going to start pressing or aren't you? You've had -the word." - -"I'm waste no more time talking foolish with dorty, saxy dame like -you," the Leader said petulantly. He got up and started determinedly -toward the door. "I call new guards and have them carry you avay." - -"I warned you," Toffee said, raising her hand tentatively. "You'll -regret it." - - * * * * * - -But the Leader, unintimidated, continued toward the door. He had just -reached out to open it when Toffee brought her hand down quickly over -the face of the ring. Events proceeded according to expectations. - -[Illustration: As Toffee aimed the magic ring, You Know Who suddenly -sprawled across the desk with a howl of pained surprise!] - -"Halpovitch!" the Leader screamed, and plumped down heavily on the -floor. "Oi!" Following the pattern of his forerunners he slapped his -hands to his bottom and hugged himself into a knot of pulsating agony. -A stream of highly charged verbiage sullied the air. - -"You kick me in restricted, top secret area!" he wailed. - -"Not exactly," Toffee said. "Though it's a shame. So many people have -longed to." She moved closer to her distressed victim. "Going to start -punching buttons? If you do I'll take the heat off." - -"No!" the Leader gritted pettishly. "I ponch you in nose!" - -"I see," Toffee said. "Suppose I call those guards back in here and let -them see you like this? In no time at all the news will get around that -the Great Leader has gone off his rocker and is snapping at his own -bottom like a beagle after ham hock. A fine laughing stock you'll make, -won't you?" - -"No!" the Leader pleaded. "No! Oh, soch a pain!" - -"Then suppose we have a little friendly cooperation around here?" - -"Hokay!" the Leader cried. "I can't stand it no longer!" - -Toffee made a pass at the ring and the Leader, after a moment of -adjustment, arose. - -"How you do soch rotten thing?" he asked. - -"You haven't got all the secret weapons," Toffee said. "That's one your -agents missed. Now hop to it and start thumbing those discs." - -Shaking his head which was heavy with disillusion, the Leader made -his way shakily to the desk. He looked at Toffee, then reached for the -first of the buttons. - -"Don't double cross me," Toffee said, raising her hand. "If you do -you'll writhe in agony for the rest of your days." - -"Hokay," the Leader said and pressed the button. A moment later a voice -answered distantly. - -"Halpovitch!" the Leader yelled at the top of his lungs. Instantly -Toffee made the necessary gesture, and for the second time the great -man assumed the position, placing his equipment as he went. He was -moaning low in every sense of the word. - -"I warned you," Toffee said. "Trickery will get you nothing but a pain -in the terminus." - -"All right!" the Leader groaned. "Stop it! I poosh buttons! I poosh 'em -twice apiece! I do what you say like a liddle lamb." - -Toffee manipulated the ring, and again the Leader picked himself up -from the floor. "Let's stop this horseplay," she said, "and get going." - -"Horseplay!" the Leader exclaimed, advancing his finger to the buttons. -"Horses vhat play mean like you should be on the backs of postage -stamps." - - * * * * * - -It was nearly an hour later when the Leader released the last button -and sagged back in his chair, a broken man. - -"Iss all," he said. "You have louse up averything. They all say I am -insane, but they gonna do it anyhow 'cause I tell 'em, the dumbells. -Over-regimented, they are, like a lot of stupid machines." - -Toffee glanced out the window at the now-darkened square. "The -fireworks should be starting soon, if they're as efficient as you say." -She turned back to the Leader. "Is there any way to get to the top of -this pile of concrete where we'll have a better view?" - -"Opp stairs, sure," the Leader said dully. "Who vants to see?" - -"Come on," Toffee said. "This is going to be _worth_ seeing, all that -advanced gun powder going up in smoke." - -"Hokay," the Leader agreed brokenly. "Who cares now?" - -Toffee watched him carefully as he opened a drawer in the desk and slid -his hand inside. It was a moment before he extracted a large bottle of -vodka. - -"For the medicinal purposes only," he explained ruefully. "And I am the -sick buckeroo of them all." - -Toffee smiled. "Let's get to the top, pop," she said amiably. "Let's -tie one on." - - * * * * * - -Though it occurred miles away, the explosion shook even the solid -foundations of the capitol building. Toffee and the leader watched with -awe as the whole world, it seemed, suddenly screamed with white fire. -The Leader was forced to cling to Toffee for support, and Toffee clung -to the bottle strictly as a precaution. - -"Beautiful," Toffee breathed as the building ceased to shudder. "It's -beautiful to see all that death and destruction destroying itself. -Makes you think of those scorpions who sting themselves in the neck -when they're mad." - -And if the explosions constituted an item of beauty for Toffee, the -night was filled to overflowing with the gaudy stuff. The explosions, -near and far, continued through the night. Toffee and the despairing -Leader sat on the edge of a functional parapet and toasted each new -blast with vodka and conflicting emotions. - -Below them people churned bewilderedly in the streets like a rising and -falling tide. A faint thread of dawn touched the horizon just as the -last explosion shuddered across the land. - -"Iss all," the Leader mourned soddenly. "All iss gone. You haf made me -a tired old man." - -"That's all you ever were," Toffee said almost kindly. "You were -foolish to try to be anything else." She patted him on the head with -groggy sympathy. "I've got a feeling I've got to be running along now. -But there's just one more thing before I go...." - -"Iss all. Iss all," the Leader moaned. "Iss no more." - -"No, not that. All I want to know is what does helpovitch mean?" - -The old man lolled his head to one side and looked at her lopsidedly -from the corner of his eye. "Iss native slang vord meaning 'democracy.' -Iss very dorty vord." - -And then, as his beautiful tormentor vanished into thin air, he toppled -from his perch on the wall and sprawled flat on his back. - -The enemy, a bottle cradled protectively in his arms, had fallen.... - - * * * * * - -Marc had fought the battle against sleep to the last ditch, and there -had tripped and fallen squarely into the waiting arms of Morpheus. -The sounds, the drone and buzz of Congress, swirled away into limbo -and mercifully died. Marc was no longer among those present at the -ridiculous investigation. - -The only way Marc had been able to go to sleep the previous night was -to take as many sleeping tablets as possible, and then a couple more. -When Congressman Bloodsop had managed finally to awaken him and to tell -him of Toffee's disappearance, it was a long while before he was able -to appraise the situation rightly; that Toffee had simply transferred -her activities to some other seat of operations, so to speak. Then, -once this had soaked into his benumbed brain, it occurred to him that -it constituted an ideal state of affairs. With the volatile redhead -out of the picture there was an even chance that he would be able to -extricate himself from the mess she had created for him and find his -way back to Julie. - -To accomplish this end he had only to stay awake so that Toffee could -not put in an untimely appearance--no mean accomplishment considering -the sleeping tablets fermenting in his system. Now he contributed to -the congressional activities with a resonant snore. - -"And do you persist, Mr. Pillsworth, in the absurd assertion that you -did not aid in the escape of the young woman known as Toffee? _Mr. -Pillsworth!_" - -Marc stirred and opened his eyes as his name penetrated his awareness. - -"Eh?" he yawned, then sat up abruptly as a current of horror flashed -up his spine. What chilled him more than the reproving tone and the -baleful eye was the realization that he had been asleep. He glanced -away from the fuming chairman and subjected the room to a wary search. -It was on the return sweep that his most awful expectations burst -abloom. Toffee, looking for all the world like an abandoned torch -singer on the corner of a piano, was sitting on the outer edge of the -podium, one hand poised rakishly on a well-curved hip. She surveyed -the assemblage with unmistakable disappointment. Throughout the room -several hot games of tick-tack-toe were summarily abandoned as grey, -greying, bald and balding heads snapped back in uncharacteristic -attitudes of attention. The members of Congress, acting sharply against -precedent, sat up and took note of the business at hand. - - * * * * * - -Since no one else spoke, Toffee took the initiative. "So this is a body -of men, is it?" she sneered. "I've seen better bodies on Model T's." - -The Chair eyed her with a definite lack of warmth. - -"My dear young woman," the Chair said, glaring coldly through his -glasses. "Just what do you think you're doing?" - -"I'm here to be investigated," Toffee said, jauntily crossing her legs. -"Get out the tape measure and heave to." - -Marc pressed his hands to his temples and sank lower in his seat. - -"What!" the Chair said. "You're the young woman known as Toffee?" - -"The same," Toffee said complacently. "The very same." - -"How did you get there on the stand all of a sudden?" - -"Ask me no questions," Toffee said, "and you'll reduce the lie -expectancy by at least fifty percent." - -Marc's forlorn moan was lost as the Chair cleared his throat. He -flicked a pencil in Marc's direction. "Take your place over there with -your confederate, please." - -"Sure," Toffee said. Abandoning her perch, she leaped lightly to the -floor and shoved off in Marc's direction, pausing on the way to pat -Congressman Bloodsop on the head. The congressman winked at her, -withdrew the pocket flask which had been affixed to his mouth and wiped -his lips genteelly on the back of his hand. - -"Government," Toffee observed, settling herself happily at Marc's side, -"is much the same the world over--full of medicinal purposes." - -"Why did you have to show up now?" Marc asked sourly. "They'd have -called the whole thing off in another few minutes." - -"That's what I like," Toffee said, patting his hand, "a rousing welcome -from the one you left behind." - -Marc withdrew his hand frigidly and resisted a yawn. "Now we're right -back in the same old soup." - -Toffee scanned the Congress with a sweeping glance. "Don't tell me -you're afraid of this collection of old nincompoops?" she scoffed. - -She pointed to a bemused, bald-pated individual across the way who was -engaged to the last nerve in the business of engraving a pierced heart -in the top of the table in front of him. Across from this exhibit sat a -lank citizen who was quietly strumming a guitar and chanting a ballad -which had to do with a lonesome cowboy whose horse was dead, house was -burned, well was dry, range was barren, and he himself was suffering -from pernicious anemia--which individual, nonetheless, wished to assure -his faithless sweetheart that she was not to worry for a minute that -his affairs were anything other than tickety-boo and that he would -'git' along somehow. - - * * * * * - -Marc observed these examples of high-minds-at-work with a wry face. -"That's just the trouble," he grieved, "they're completely irrational. -Heaven knows what they might take a fancy to do to us. Your entrance -didn't help any, you know." - -"Nonsense," Toffee said. "They're just a bunch of harmless children." - -"So harmless," Marc snorted, "they've danced the whole nation right -down the path to extinction." - -"Oh, that," Toffee said, smiling secretively. "I wouldn't worry about -that. I wouldn't waste the time." - -"Oh, you wouldn't, wouldn't you?" Marc said annoyedly. "Well, let me -remind you, Miss Cotton Brain, that you're subject to the laws of -extinction just as much as the rest of us. When I die you go with me, -you know, and after the way you've messed up my final hours I will -consider it a pleasure to perish just to get even with you. I will -laugh as the bombs come crashing down on my roof." - -"You're doing me a terrible injustice," Toffee said. - -At this point their conversation was abruptly concluded by a heavy -rapping from the Chair. - -"The Chair addresses the young woman known as Toffee." - -"If I'm known as Toffee," Toffee snapped, "then call me Toffee. Stop -making me sound like some loose-moraled hussy slinging her hips around -in a Klondike saloon." - -"Just remain seated," the Chair said severely, "and speak into the -microphone on the table. There are some questions for you to answer -before we proceed." - -Toffee eyed the Chair with raised eyebrows. "Okay," she said. "Shoot." -She turned to Marc. "Stop nudging me." - -"First of all," the Chair said. "Please make a statement of your -political affiliations." - -"Political affiliations?" Toffee said, completely bewildered. "If you -mean have I ever had anything to do with politicians, I haven't. I -might as well say that I think all politicians are a bunch of bums." -She turned again to Marc. "Are you ill, dear? Why are you making that -awful choking noise?" - -Marc repeated the awful choking noise, and the Chair rattled for -attention. The Chair also glowered through its glasses. - -"What the committee wants to know is which political philosophy do you -embrace?" - -"None of them," Toffee said. "I wouldn't touch any of them with a -pole, much less clasp them to my bosom as you suggest. Aren't you -getting a little lewd with all this talk about embracing?" - -"Let's put it another way," the Chair said with strained patience. "Of -which nation are you a citizen?" - -"Why, none of them, of course," Toffee said. "Not that they wouldn't -have me, you understand...." - - * * * * * - -Precisely at this point a door behind the Chair burst open, and a -small, musty individual in shirt sleeves hurled himself into the room. - -"It's come!" he piped. "It's come!" - -"Has someone been praying for rain?" Toffee asked innocently. - -The Chair rattled frenziedly. "Just what is it that's important enough -to justify this outburst?" - -"The news!" the little man jibbered. "I was working down in the -Intelligence Department just now...." - -"I wondered where they keep all the intelligence around here," Toffee -said. "I didn't know they had a department for it." - -"Shut up, can't you?" Marc hissed. "You've made enough enemies already -to last us out a lifetime." - -"You Know Where!" the little man screeched. "You Know Where!" - -A murmur of apprehension moved through the room. - -"They've attacked?" the Chair asked quickly. "Has the attack begun? -Speak up, man!" Then without waiting for a reply, he turned to the -gathering at large. "I will now lead you all in prayer." - -"No!" the little man cried. "No, no!" - -"You don't want us to pray, you nasty little atheist?" - -"No!" the little man cried. "Yes! I don't care! But there isn't any -attack! There isn't going to be one! You Know Where was demobilized -last night. It's a positive miracle! Our agents report rumors about a -religious revival going on there. Everyone is talking about an angel -with red hair who appeared to the Leader and...." - -Marc turned sharply to Toffee with the look of a man who has just been -stung by a bee. - -"You...!" - -"Uh-huh," Toffee said. "We had quite a romp last night, the Leader and -I." She spoke through a pandemonium of cheering, crashing bottles and -mad guitar music. - -"Oh, bury me not on the lone prar-ee!" the lanky Congressman chortled -besottedly. "Where the coyotes howl 'cause there's no whisk-ee!" - -The Chair added to the din in behalf of a moment of silence and -received just a moment. - -"Let's knock off for the day," a voice yelled, "and get drunk!" - -"We did that yesterday," the Chair said. "We have to think of -appearances once in a while, you know. Besides, this new development -puts a whole new face on things. It calls for action." - -"What about me?" Toffee yelled. "I insist on being investigated." - -"Please be quiet, young woman," the Chair said. "You're no longer -needed here." - -"Thank heavens!" Marc sighed. "Come on, let's leave." - -"Certainly not," Toffee said. "I have other business to take care of." - -"Oh, no!" Marc cried, and slumped exhaustedly into his chair. "I'm too -tired for any more!" - -"We must realize," the Chair was saying, "that an opportunity has -been placed in our hands. The enemy is helpless. _Now is the time to -strike!_" - - * * * * * - -There was a pause while this sank in, and then the cheering and -rough-housing began again with greater vigor. - -"Rickety-rax!" One vaporish congressman giggled, slipping limply from -his chair to the floor. "Rickety-rax! Give 'em the axe!" - -A colleague at his right launched a squadron of paper darts into the -air as the guitarist twanged away at an off-key rendition of the _Air -Corps Song_. This musical interlude, however, came to an unhappy end -as the gentleman across the table, finishing the pierced heart with a -flourish, picked up an inkwell and emptied it into the bowels of the -instrument. There was a splintering crash as the donner received his -contribution, guitar and all, across the crown of his head. Undaunted, -the man rose from his seat and launched into a lamentable imitation of -Jolson doing a mammy song. - -"We'll kill 'em!" the cry went up. "We'll give it to 'em in the teeth, -the dirty, yella, murderin' rats!" - -"Gentlemen!" the Chair pleaded. "Gentlemen! Your enthusiasm and -patriotic spirit is commendable. But let's be constructive about this -thing. _Let's declare war!_" - -Toffee and Marc, who had been watching this display with rising -emotion, got to their feet simultaneously. - -"Now just a minute!" Toffee yelled. "Just a minute, you tramps!" - -"Precisely," Marc said, steadying himself against the table. "Just a -minute." - -But their protest was unheard in the din of the merry-making. - -"I can see," Toffee said, lifting her hand, "that the time is due to -take measures." - -"For once," Marc said, "I'm with you one hundred percent." He moved to -her side in a limp gesture of staunch support, blinking drowsily. - -Toffee eyed the revelling law makers with a selective eye. Her gaze -fell to two rotund parties who, their arms clasped about each other's -shoulders, were dancing a polka in the aisle. As one of the bulbous -rears swiveled in her direction, she let go. It was a direct hit on the -target. - -With a searing cry the erstwhile dancer unclasped his partner and -doubled over, his chops aquiver with an emotion too great for -expression. - -His partner, at first taken aback, eyed this inexplicable development -with bleary gloom. Then he beamed with happy understanding. - -"Leap frog!" he yelled joyously. "Hey, fellas! Leap frog!" - - * * * * * - -The rush for the aisle was instantaneous and enthusiastic. As the -playful congressmen lined up for the game, Toffee leaped to the top of -the table and assumed a firing stance. Taking careful aim as the first -gamester wheezed up the aisle and boosted himself aloft over the back -of his suffering brother, she executed a neat wing shot which dropped -her victim into place with a convulsion of shocked pain. - -"Fish in a barrel," Toffee said gleefully. - -"Good," Marc said, coming momentarily awake. "There! Get that gaffer on -the rise!" - -And another congressman doubled in mid-air and came to earth with a -rasp on his lips. - -"Stacking up nicely, eh?" Toffee said. "Makes a neat exhibit, all of -them in a row like that." - -The sport continued apace. It wasn't long before the aisle was lined -from end to end with tortured congressmen who moaned and wailed like -lost souls taking hell's post grad course. Texas, naturally, made the -loudest noise. - -"Here, now!" he blurted. "What's going on here? What do you fellows -think you're doing; you look like a lot of distressed cats who've found -cement in the sand box. It doesn't look at all nice. I'm surprised at -you, Maine, for being mixed up in this sort of thing. You, too, South -Dakota. Young woman, why are you standing on that table?" - -"When I go to the circus," Toffee said, "I like to see everything. I -wouldn't want to miss this for the world." - -"I thought I told you to go home. The Congress has finished with you." - -"But have I finished with the Congress?" Toffee said. "That's what I -ask myself." - -"Get out!" the Chair cried, definitely beginning to show cracks about -the outer surface. "Please go home. Please!" - -"I'm afraid I can't," Toffee said. She nodded significantly toward -the convulsed members. "I'd hate to go and leave so much unfinished -business behind. Or should I say so much behind, unfinished business?" - -"Do you mean to say that you are in some way responsible for that -repellent demonstration in the aisle?" - -"I take the credit proudly," Toffee said. "Remember, I said I had a -secret weapon? However, I must say that Mr. Pillsworth, here, has given -me all sorts of moral support." - -"Thank you," Marc said with composure. "Glad to be associated with any -enterprise of a worthwhile nature. I'm a real sucker for these toney -clambakes." - -"Toney!" The Chair snorted in outrage. "I suppose you are able to undo -this disgraceful state of affairs?" - -"Oh, quite," Toffee smiled. "In a twinkling. But I wonder if I really -want to." - -"You must," the Chair said distractedly. "With all that moaning and -groaning going on down there I can't hear myself think." - -"Heaven only knows why you should want to," Marc said, "with your -dwarfed powers of reasoning." - - * * * * * - -"Quiet!" the Chair snapped. "Young lady, I'm telling you to release -those men from whatever unattractive thing is ailing them. That's a -congressional order!" - -"Okay," Toffee said. "But with one stipulation." - -"And what is that, may I ask?" - -"That you follow the example of You Know Where--and follow it to the -last bomb and factory." - -"What! Are you actually suggesting that we demobilize the country?" - -"I'm telling you now," Toffee said earnestly. "And I'm telling you to -do it immediately. Get religion, brother." - -"I see," the Chair said quietly. His hand moved cautiously toward an -alarm button. - -"I'm sorry," Toffee murmured, "but I haven't time to waste on any more -guards." She lifted her hand, made the necessary motion, and the Chair -departed his moorings with a leap that sent his glasses sailing off -into the air. - -"Murder!" he screamed, and crashed back into his seat in a fit of acute -discomfort. - -"Well," Marc sighed. "Fair's fair. These boys have been giving everyone -else that localized pain for years. Now they're just getting a shot of -their own medicine. By the way, what happened to that little man from -Intelligence?" - -"He's in with the congressmen," Toffee said. - -Dusting her hands lightly, she turned away just in time to see a door -swing open to permit the pompous entrance of several over-costumed and -over-decorated individuals who had obviously played the army and navy -game with the right set of loaded dice. - -One, however, stood ahead of and apart from the others. He glittered -and shone with all the bogus brilliance of a dime store jewelry -counter. From the peak of his duck-tailed blonde hair to the tips of -his two-toned shoes--passing quickly over his rust-red jacket and -lemon yellow trousers--he was the absolute end and final gasp in -well-upholstered commercial entertainers. As he stood impressively -in the doorway his shirt front added the final touch of elegance by -lighting up with the classical quote: Kiss Me Quick! - -"Good night!" Marc said. "President Flemm! And the heads of the War -Department!" - - * * * * * - -As Toffee gazed on this fine new catch, whole vistas of fresh -achievement spread themselves before her. "Hail! Hail!" she said. "Deck -the halls with poison ivy!" - -The President, having had his little joke, had since fallen into -a mood for a bit of tribute from what he considered his official -flunkies--or straight men. As he waited for the Congress to rise in -his honor--without result--an expression of petulance swept over his -features. It wasn't as though they weren't aware of his presence; he -made himself known surely. Then why didn't the clods snap into it? - -He stepped imperiously to the head of the aisle, from whence there -issued low sounds of displeasure and suddenly, with a start, found -himself faced with a shattering view of a whole row of upturned -bottoms. - -"Here, now!" he exclaimed. "What sort of greeting is this? If you -men have some personal criticism to make against me there must be a -nicer way of expressing it!" He swung about to the Chair. "Just who is -responsible for this insulting...!" - -The words jammed together in his throat at the sight of the Chair whose -sightless eyes peered down at him with every evidence of complete -loathing. He seemed to snarl. In fact, as the President watched, the -Chair actually did bare his fangs and snarl. - -"Now, just a minute!" the President cried, taken aback. "Maybe we do -have our little differences now and again, but there's no need to -get obstreperous about it. Now stop slavering at the mouth in that -extraordinary way and tell those old fools in the aisle to turn around -right end up." - -The Chair only snarled again. - -"Oh, very well," the President said coolly. "If that's the attitude you -want to take...." - -"I don't think you're really going to get anywhere with him," Toffee -put in mildly. - -The President whirled about. "And who are you?" - -"You might say I'm in charge here," Toffee said. "My friend and I. I -think you'll discover that the Congress is suffering from shock--in a -way." She nodded to the Chair. "With that one, it's something I said." -The big brass crowded in curiously from the rear and ogled Toffee with -enormous appreciation. "Oddly, you are just the group I've been waiting -to see. I've been wanting to tell you that the time has come for you to -demobilize the nation--unload all that high-powered ammunition before -it goes off and hurts someone." - -The President merely stared at her for a moment. Then he shook his -head. "Wouldn't get a big enough laugh," he said. - -"I take it you are replying in the negative?" Toffee asked. - -"You got it, sis," the President said with his customary dignity. -"Besides, just where do you get off telling me the time? Who signed you -up for the act?" - -"Allow me to present my credentials," Toffee said, and raised her hand. -"You'll get a kick out of this." - - * * * * * - -A moment later President Flemm, quite to his own surprise, added -acrobatic dancing to his list of talents. Toffee, aware that important -persons required her best efforts, added a shot to the President's -neck, having already administered to the more logical location. - -President Flemm's fine tenor assailed the air with ear-splitting -clarity, as his companions edged away in terror. Clutching alternately -at his neck and his rear, the man leaped about like a fan dancer -deprived of her feathers before a meeting of young business executives. -The President gave the performance of a man who was torn in his very -soul. - -"Think that'll get a laugh?" Toffee asked. And then, lest the -President desired companions, she quickly added the efforts of the War -Department. The effect was engaging in a primitive sort of way, though -there was a great deal of clanking and crashing of brass on brass. - -"Any time you gentlemen decide to sit one out," Toffee said, "just let -me know. There are plenty of telephones handy with which to spread the -good news." - -She and Marc retreated to the steps in front of the podium, picking up -an abandoned bottle on the way. Toffee settled back comfortably and -indulged in a long draft. - -"Hey," Marc said, "you might leave a swallow for me. I'm the one who -needs the stimulant, you know." - -Toffee handed him the bottle, and for a moment they sat silent -listening dreamily to the sounds of gnashing teeth and grunted curses -that filled the air about them. Marc looked over to where the President -and his cronies had fallen into a stupor of misery. - -"Looks like the government has collapsed," he observed drowsily. "I -might say it has a pain in its brass." - -Even as he spoke, the President lifted an enfeebled hand and beckoned -to them. "I think the President wishes a word with us." - -"Isn't it thrilling," Toffee said, "meeting all these important people -on such intimate terms?" She tilted the bottle again. "Let's toddle -over and see what the old comic wants." - -"This is excruciating!" the President panted as they approached. -"You've got to stop it; it's unbearable." - -"Now you know how people felt about your jokes," Toffee said. "I take -it you're on the verge of capitulation?" - -"Over the verge," the President grunted weakly. "Huh, fellas?" - - * * * * * - -Four sets of clenched teeth bobbed up and down behind him, accompanied -by the plaintive rattle of metal. - -"Good show, men," Toffee said. "That's using the old heads. Follow me -to the telephones the best way you can and start the wires singing--my -tune, of course." - -Half an hour later Toffee and Marc let themselves out of the room by -the back way and walked along the corridor toward the street. - -"I'm hungry as an abandoned babe," Toffee said. - -Marc regarded her from beneath drooping eyelids. "I don't know if I -can stay awake long enough to feed you," he said. Then he stopped and -nodded worriedly back the way they'd come. "Are you sure you ought to -leave them all groaning around in there like that?" - -"Until after the fireworks tonight," Toffee said. "When it comes to -backing out on your word those boys could face to the rear and win -the Olympic races without straining a nerve. Besides, suffering has a -cleansing effect on the soul, they tell me, and that mob in there has -the grimiest set of souls I've ever seen. I informed the lot of them -that if they welched on this deal they'd stay that way the rest of -their lives and would have to be buried in round coffins. We can come -back and turn them loose later." - -"I suppose you're right," Marc said. "Right now, I've got to have a pot -of coffee before I pass out." - -By now they had reached the sidewalk and luckily spotted a cab. Waving -for the driver's attention, they hurried forward. - -It was just as Marc reached for the door of the cab that he suddenly -stumbled. All at once his weariness became too great to be borne -further; it reached to his very bones and turned them to sawdust. As he -went down to his knees the blackness swam in around him. He reached out -a hand to steady himself, but there was nothing to cling to. He was -vaguely aware of falling.... - - * * * * * - -"Well, now, how'd you like a dame like that!" the cab driver exclaimed, -climbing out of the car. "She takes a powder just because the guy gets -a snootful and passes out!" He looked down at Marc who, sprawled on -the sidewalk, was tuning up for a good solid snore. "I wonder where he -belongs?" - - * * * * * - -Wherever he belonged, Marc at that very moment was lounging in a state -of quiet bliss on one of the rising slopes in the valley of his mind. -He turned to regard Toffee whose costume had once again become the -transparent tunic, and to reflect that Paris would have to go a long -way to stitch up anything half as becoming. Toffee smiled back at him -and propped herself up lazily on one elbow. - -"Well," she said. "It was something of a whirl, wasn't it? I mean it -leaves one a trifle dizzy." - -"Whirl?" Marc asked. "How do you mean?" Recent events had slipped from -his mind in the interval between awareness and slumber. - -"The bombs," Toffee said. "The politicians--" she held up her hand and -displayed the ring "--and this." - -Memory jarred back into place. "Oh, my gosh!" Marc cried. "All those -congressmen! And the President! They're all back there...! And you're -here...! How'll you ever get them straightened out?" - -Toffee laughed. "I won't. There's going to be a terrific run on the -Washington doctors for a while, that's all. Anyway, it'll do the old -tubs good, give them something to think about next time they start -getting gay with the public's time--and redheaded women." - -"Anyway," Marc said. "At least it proves that a well-placed jolt in -the right place is a lot more powerful than any bomb. I was right in -the first place. When warfare gets personal it loses its attraction. I -suppose they'll be busy developing more and worse bombs as soon as the -shock wears off, but at least the people in the world will have another -chance to try and prevent them." - -Toffee shrugged lightly. "It just goes to show that world politics are -really childishly simple when someone comes along with a firm hand." - -"Are you going to keep the ring?" Marc asked. - -Toffee shook her head. "I think I'll just dematerialize it; I never did -care about gems." She regarded him slowly from the corner of her eye. -"I have just one last use for it first." - -"Yes?" Marc asked with a note of apprehension. "What's that?" - -"Just this," Toffee said. She slid her arms around his neck and drew -him close. "One twitch of resistance and I'll double you up like a -pretzel." - -Marc sighed helplessly. "When you put it that way, what can I do?" he -asked, and submitted unflinchingly to her kiss. - -It was just as she drew away, just as she brushed her hand over his -shoulder, that the ring exploded. - -Actually it was only a burst of vibrant green light, but it was so -intense that it blinded Marc, blocking Toffee and the valley from -sight. Marc squinted against the brilliance and waited for it to die. -But when it did there was only an infinite blackness where it had been. - -"Toffee?" Marc called tentatively. "Toffee, where are you?" - -"Goodbye, Marc," Toffee's voice said through the darkness. "Goodbye, -you old reprobate." - - * * * * * - -Marc moved a bit to one side and felt of the softness beneath him -before he opened his eyes. Then he opened them half fearfully, -wondering where he was. He looked about slowly, then suddenly sat -upright. He was home, in his own room, in his own bed. - -But it was dark outside, and the lamp was on. He had passed out on a -street in Washington, if he remembered correctly. He was sure that was -right, but he couldn't think how he had gotten home. Then he held his -thoughts in abeyance and listened; there was the sound of a voice--a -man's voice--and it seemed to be coming from downstairs.... - -"_As each bomb bursts and casts out its power for destruction the -burden becomes just so much lighter in the hearts of men all over the -world. Tonight the bombs send out their light against the darkness, not -as instruments of death and hate, but as multi-beamed beacons pointing -the way to world peace. This is one of the greatest nights in human -history!_" - -Marc leaped from the bed, drew on his robe which was lying across the -bed, and ran out into the hallway. He was nearly to the head of the -stairs when he stopped to listen again. - -"_The mystery surrounding the House of Congress since early today when -the order for demobilization was issued from there by the President -remains unsolved. Guards have been placed by presidential order at all -entrances and exits, and no one, not even the President, has left the -inner chamber. The press and other officials have been strenuously -barred from entry, even at gun point in some instances. However a -number of physicians have received calls from within the chamber and -have been escorted into the room. A rumor persists that one of the -members--Congressman Wright of Maine--was stricken with the mumps -during today's session, placing the entire Congress in quarantine...._" - -Marc hurried down the stairs and into the living room. He stopped short -at the sight of her. - -"Julie...!" he cried. - - * * * * * - -She rose quickly from her chair and switched off the radio. - -"I had it fixed," she said. "I was so ashamed." Then her face lighted -with joy. "Oh, darling, there's the most wonderful, wonderful news! The -President ordered...!" - -"I know," Marc said. "I ... uh ... I heard it just now coming down the -stairs." He went to her and drew her into his arms, and for a moment -they were both still, just holding each other. - -"Julie...?" Marc said, and she nodded. "When did you come back?" - -"The same night I left, of course," Julie smiled. "I only got as far as -the station and I got to thinking that if anything happened ... and we -weren't together.... Anyway, I turned right around and came back. I -was nearly frantic when you weren't here. I just sat here and cried and -blamed myself." - -"I see," Marc said. "And ... uh ... how did I get back?" - -"The taxi driver brought you. He found your address in your wallet." - -"All the way from Washington?" - -"He said there was a young lady he wanted to see here anyway, and he -only charged half fare." She put her hand to his cheek. "Oh, I was so -relieved when I found out you'd only been on a bender. In fact I was -a little flattered that you were that desperate without me." She drew -closer. "Oh, darling, we both behaved so childishly. We deserved just -what we got--a good swift kick in the...." - -But Marc kissed her quickly--and for a long time--until he was sure a -new topic for conversation had come into her mind.... - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE VENGEANCE OF TOFFEE *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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Myers</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Vengeance of Toffee</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Charles F. Myers</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: April 19, 2021 [eBook #65113]</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net</div> - -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE VENGEANCE OF TOFFEE ***</div> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>THE VENGEANCE OF TOFFEE</h1> - -<h2>By Charles F. Myers</h2> - -<p>The world was on the brink of atomic war and<br /> -nothing, it seemed, could prevent it. But<br /> -Toffee had a plan—and a little magic to boot!</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br /> -February 1951<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>The bombs ticked—in remote places—behind locked and guarded doors. -The bombs ticked, and the terrible sound was distinct in the farthest -corners of the world—wherever a man picked up a newspaper, turned on a -radio—or paused to listen to the beating of his own heart. A Bomb ... -H Bomb ... X Bomb—the bombs ticked louder and louder with the growing -hours—and each man dwelt alone now with the dark spectre of his own -trembling fear.</p> - -<p>"<i>Yesterday we perfected a new kind of totalitarian death....</i>" (It -was difficult to remember the pleasant, relaxed voice which had once -given the announcer his popularity, for now it seemed that his breath -passed over taut nerves rather than vocal cords. But no one noticed; it -was only what he said that mattered now, not how he said it. Fear fed -on fear with an avid, indiscriminate appetite—and flourished from the -diet.)</p> - -<p>"<i>Today we can only be certain that the foreign powers will have caught -up with us within the next few hours.</i></p> - -<p>"<i>Can you remember the Atomic Age, ladies and gentlemen? How long ago -that was! And yet how swiftly we have progressed from that to the Age -of Human Terror.</i></p> - -<p>"<i>The X Bomb—the incomprehensible unit of power and destruction which -dwarfs the human soul and reduces it to a negligible fraction of -quivering fright—just one small fraction contributing to the monstrous -organism of terror which has lately become our modern civilization. -How wretched we are to be living in a civilization in which the word -'city' has been rendered obsolete by the word 'target.' The New York -Target ... the Chicago Target ... the Salt Lake and San Francisco -Targets. How wretched we are.</i></p> - -<p>"<i>And is it strange that these targets which were once cities are being -deserted? Is it strange that men have begun to run from the bombs even -before they have begun to fall? That is the nature of terror.</i></p> - -<p>"<i>For the first time in its history the nation looks upon a -nomadic society—largely that group of the working people who have -ceased working to wander aimlessly, seeking safety within our own -borders—living by thievery and lawlessness. Crime has increased so -rapidly of late that a comparative estimate is impossible. That, too, -is the nature of terror.</i></p> - -<p>"<i>Today the government would force these erstwhile workers back to -the hearts of the targets—force them by law back to the factories to -engage again in the production of death and destruction.</i></p> - -<p>"<i>'Necessary,' the statesmen say. 'Necessary to national safety.' But -with the statesmen's words comes the obvious question: Is there still -any national safety left for any nation? Does it exist anywhere, to be -preserved? Haven't the fleeing nomads asked themselves this question -already, turning their frightened eyes to the unprotecting skies?</i></p> - -<p>"<i>But the statesman must speak—and he must speak logic, even now -when logic has deserted us, and words can no longer save us. Every -man—statesman or otherwise—knows that it is no longer a question of -whether the bombs will drop—but when they will drop—and who will drop -them—we or they?</i></p> - -<p>"<i>It is true that no nation has declared war, but terror declares its -own war. Can we wait another day to take the initiative? Can they? The -undeclared enemy may destroy us tomorrow—or tonight—even within the -next few minutes. I may not live to finish this broadcast—and you may -not live to hear it....</i>"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Suddenly there was a sharp click, and the voice stopped, silenced as -effectively as though a wire had been knotted about the speaker's -throat. Marc Pillsworth, startled at the sudden silence, snapped -forward in his chair and looked up. Julie, the lamp light slanting -sharply across her face, glared down at him with tense irritation. She -removed her hand significantly from the radio switch.</p> - -<p>"I'm telling you, Marcus Pillsworth," she said menacingly, "I can't -stand any more of it. If you turn on that bloody instrument again—if -you so much as twitch your bony finger in its direction—one of us is -going to die of unnatural causes, and you may have read that the female -is notoriously more long-lived than the male."</p> - -<p>Marc stared at her incredulously through the chill dimness of the -living room. Then he sighed heavily. This also was the nature of human -terror: every man was married to a shrew these days. Women simply -weren't up to it.</p> - -<p>But Julie had been better than most—until now. He looked at the -tightly drawn lips, the circled eyes and tried to remember his wife's -cool blonde beauty as it had been only a month ago. The contrast was -disquieting. Well, these were harrowing times for her.</p> - -<p>But they were just as harrowing for everyone else—for him. She ought -to realize that. Suddenly, unaccountably, Marc felt his self-control -slipping away from him with all the sleazy inevitability of a pair of -silk shorts with rotten elastic. Suddenly the distorted face across the -room was not at all the face of his wife, but the face of a vindictive -stranger who had invaded his rights and his privacy with definite -malice in mind. Reason left him, and, with a black sucking feeling in -the pit of his stomach, he felt the last measure of his reserve trickle -down the drain. Gripping the arms of his chair, he jutted his face out -into the light and deliberately leered.</p> - -<p>"With the world coming down around our ears," he snarled, "I suppose -you expect me to sit here complacently simpering and snickering and -snapping my gum like an addled adolescent? Don't you care that we may -all go to blazes in the next few minutes?"</p> - -<p>"No!" Julie screamed, fitting a direct answer to a direct question. -"No, I don't care. I'm tired of caring. I'm tired through with caring. -And I'm tired of you sitting there with those great elephantine ears of -yours hinged to that radio. You've been at it day in, day out, day in, -day out, day in...!"</p> - -<p>"Stop repeating yourself like some idiot tropical bird," Marc snapped.</p> - -<p>"Why don't you ever go down to the office any more?" Julie asked with -womanly logic. "Why don't you get out of here and leave me alone?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>In heavy martyrdom Marc lifted his eyes to the ceiling. What was the -use? Why go through it all again? He'd explained to her a million -times that he no longer had any <i>reason</i> to go to the office. The -advertising business had been one of the first to suffer. Who cared -what the advertising industry had to say at a time like this? Who -wanted to be beautiful or healthy or envied when there wasn't any -future in it?</p> - -<p>"Turn the radio on," he said steadily.</p> - -<p>Julie's eyes actually sparked flame. "<i>What?</i> Do you really have the -grassy green gall to ask me to turn that thing on again? I don't -believe my ears!"</p> - -<p>"I'm not asking," Marc said slowly, "I'm <i>instructing</i> you to."</p> - -<p>"Hah!" Julie snorted to some invisible spectator. "Listen to him!" She -eyed him nastily. "Ask me to shinny up the doorsill and do a swan dive -into my cocktail. I'll do that sooner."</p> - -<p>Marc met her gaze for a moment and momentarily declined the challenge. -"I suppose you just want to sit here and never know what hit you?"</p> - -<p>"Exactly," Julie said. "For heaven's sake what does it matter what hits -us after we're dead? At least I don't want to sit here chewing my nails -while some morbid-minded deficient drives me into a state of complete -nervous collapse."</p> - -<p>Marc disengaged himself from his chair. She had a point there, though -he'd rot before he admitted it. With considerable unconcern he moseyed -across the room and glanced out the window. Then he stopped and leaned -closer to the pane. Across the street the world was already ablaze. The -night sky glowed red with flame.</p> - -<p>"My God!" he cried. "The Fredericks are on fire!"</p> - -<p>Julie moved to his side and stared out the window.</p> - -<p>"Who are those people?" she asked. "The ones sitting on the lawn there?"</p> - -<p>Marc directed his gaze to the right. He should have seen them sooner, -except that one's sense of logic, when one is witnessing a fire, does -not readily encompass a group of people lounging on blankets in the -glowing radiance—especially when those people are concerned more with -food, drink and cards than with the fire—and more especially when the -owners of the flaming dwelling are prominent among those present....</p> - -<p>"Aren't those the Fredericks?" Julie asked.</p> - -<p>"Do you suppose they've noticed the house?" Marc asked. "But I suppose -they must."</p> - -<p>"Maybe not," Julie said. "They've been drunk for days. It started out -as a house warming party. Do you suppose this is their idea of a joke?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc turned away. "The papers are full of this sort of thing. The -anxiety has driven people mad." Then suddenly he stiffened. "Maybe -they've heard something! Maybe they've decided to burn their home -rather than let the enemy do it for them." He ran to the radio and -snapped the switch.</p> - -<p>"<i>Beside every man stalks the black shadow of doom...!</i>" the announcer -groaned.</p> - -<p>At the window Julie instantly snapped to a position of rigid erectness. -With cold fury she turned and regarded Marc's lank figure bent -attentively to the radio speaker. Her eyes rested on her husband's -impassive posterior, and glittering, unbridled madness flickered in -their depths.</p> - -<p>"<i>When will the attack fall?</i>" the announcer inquired, and Julie -answered him without hesitation. "Now, brother," she murmured. "Right -now!"</p> - -<p>Unaware of the declaration of hostilities from the rear, Marc hung on -the words of the announcer: "<i>We can only brace ourselves and hope....</i>"</p> - -<p>It was a pity he did not have the foresight—or perhaps hindsight—to -follow the announcer's advice. In the next moment Julie's foot, -propelled so as to accomplish the same work as an iron sledge, -completed an arc that terminated in what might crudely be called a -bull's eye.</p> - -<p>With a scream of mortal agony, Marc started forward, and jutted his -head forthwith into the speaker of the radio. There was a dreadful -splintering sound, and then with a squeal, not unlike Marc's, the -announcer fell silent.</p> - -<p>Marc was unaware of this latter development; both his soul and body -were too consumed with throbbing pain to be concerned any longer with -such trivialities as the X Bomb and the demise of the world. The world -could go to hell in beach sandals and it would be as nothing to the -awful thing which had befallen him. Thrusting his hands forcibly to the -seat of his anguish, he dislodged his head from the radio and regarded -Julie from a crouching position. Clutching himself in a most unmindful -way he stared up at his mate with almost animal loathing.</p> - -<p>"What a rotten thing to do!" he rasped. "And what a fiendish place to -do it! You ... you're ... you're <i>inhuman</i>!"</p> - -<p>Julie laughed evilly. "I warned you, you reptile! I told you I couldn't -stand any more!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc grimaced as a new wave of pain surged upward through his body. "I -just hope you're proud, waiting until a man's got his back turned and -then kicking him in the...!"</p> - -<p>"There's no need to be crude about it," Julie cut in quickly.</p> - -<p>"That's funny, that is!" Marc snapped, baring his teeth. "<i>Me</i>—crude! -What about you? I suppose you've been the perfect little lady in this -affair? I'm not surprised you can't bear to face your crime!"</p> - -<p>"Vulgar!" Julie yelled. "Vulgar, skinny man!"</p> - -<p>Marc glanced at the radio. "You've ruined it!"</p> - -<p>"You ruined it yourself. Though I will say that if you hadn't, I had -every intention of taking a meat axe to it."</p> - -<p>"And to me, too, I dare say. A nice way for a wife to go on to a -husband who has cherished and protected her."</p> - -<p>"Oh, stop it, you ninny," Julie said. "Stop carrying on as though I'd -murdered you."</p> - -<p>"I'd have preferred to be murdered," Marc said, shuddering with pain.</p> - -<p>"Stop crouching like that," Julie said. "And stop holding yourself -in that suggestive way. You look like a child with uncertain habits. -Straighten up."</p> - -<p>Marc considered the matter of straightening up; never had he felt so -strongly the need to rise to his full height. He relinquished his -grip on himself and tried to unbend. Instantly he fell back into the -crouching position with a cry of pain.</p> - -<p>"I can't!" he cried. "I can't straighten up!"</p> - -<p>Julie's expression swiftly undertook a series of transformations -ranging from suspicion to chagrin to abject contrition.</p> - -<p>"Of course you can," she said anxiously. "Try."</p> - -<p>"I can't, I tell you!" Marc gritted. "And it serves you right. As a -matter of fact I hope I stay this way, and you have to spend the rest -of your days explaining to everyone how it happened. You've dislocated -my sacroiliac, that's what you've done, you brutish female!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no!" Julie gasped. "Oh, Marc!" She ran toward him.</p> - -<p>"Get away from me!" Marc snarled. "Don't you touch me, you Judith -Iscariot!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, dear!" Julie wailed. She held our a hand. "I'll get a doctor, the -one down the block. Don't do anything. I'll be right back." She started -toward the door.</p> - -<p>"Tell him how it happened!" Marc called after her spitefully. "Tell him -how you kicked your own husband in the...!"</p> - -<p>But the door slammed as Julie hurried out of the house and down the -steps.</p> - -<p>Marc returned his hands gingerly to his pulsing bottom and stared -gloomily at the floor.</p> - -<p>"Damn!" he said. "Damn, damn, damn!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The doctor strapped a final length of adhesive across Marc's back and -helped him into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.</p> - -<p>"It may be tender for a day or two," he said. He helped Marc into his -pajama coat. "You'll be all right, though. You can have Mrs. Pillsworth -take that tape off for you at the end of the week."</p> - -<p>"I'll wear it to my grave," Marc snapped, "before I'll permit that -woman to touch me again."</p> - -<p>"Now, now, Mr. Pillsworth," the doctor temporized. "You'll feel better -in the morning." He turned and picked up his case. "I imagine those -sedatives will take care of everything for tonight."</p> - -<p>"Thank you, doctor," Marc said gratefully, and sank back rigidly on the -bed. Lying down, held stiffly by the tape, he was forced to watch the -doctor from the corner of his eye.</p> - -<p>"Goodnight, doctor."</p> - -<p>"Goodnight." The doctor nodded from across the room and opened the door -to leave. Julie was revealed wringing her hands in the hallway. She -stepped forward.</p> - -<p>"How is he, doctor?" she asked. "May I see him now?"</p> - -<p>"Keep her out!" Marc growled from his pillow. "If she so much as sticks -a hand in here I'll bite it!"</p> - -<p>The doctor took Julie's arm. "Don't worry," he said. "Everyone's a -little neurotic these days." He guided her back into the hall and -closed the door.</p> - -<p>Marc shifted his gaze from the door to the ceiling. The laughter of -the Fredericks and their guests drifted in through the open window, -and he reflected on its quality: it was the laughter of desperation, -not abandoned. Then the scream of a fire siren sounded faintly in the -distance, and a woman echoed the cry weirdly from somewhere down the -block—another patient for the good doctor.</p> - -<p>Marc closed his eyes and waited for the sedatives to work. An echo of -pain throbbed along his spine. He tried to shift a bit, but the tape -held him in place, and the pain was only worse for the effort. He -looked at the ceiling again and noted its singular blankness without -pleasure. Finally he decided to turn his mind to other things—to -the past and happier circumstances. Instantly, without any conscious -cooperation, Toffee's pert face stirred in his memory. The ghost of a -smile played at the corners of his mouth.</p> - -<p>Not that the thought of Toffee was undilutedly pleasant. The gamin -creature of his mind had a strong predisposition for trouble as well as -pleasure—a sort of special magnetism that drew calamity to herself as -well as the hapless souls around her. And yet the basic feeling, when -thinking of Toffee, was one of distinct cheer. If trouble came to her -it was never altogether unmixed with a certain element of hilarity. -There was always a dash of excitement at least.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Naturally Toffee had not been in Marc's mind at all these last few -months. For one thing he had been much too concerned with the perilous -state of the world, and Toffee, not a consistent inhabitant of this -world, or much of any other, was difficult to picture in conjunction -with truly worldly matters.</p> - -<p>If it could be said that Toffee lived at all, it would have to be the -Valley of Marc's mind. Not that she wasn't quite real; it was just that -she did not exist materially unless she was projected into the material -world through Marc's imagination. After that she was as flesh and blood -as anyone—indeed, to an almost overwhelming degree at times.</p> - -<p>If Marc had grown used to this strange circumstance—that his mind -could actually create a living, breathing perfect hellion of a -redhead—it was only by virtue of repetition. The human mind can adjust -to the wildest of impossibilities in time, if it is only subjected to -them often enough.</p> - -<p>The smile grew on Marc's lips as he considered the provocative form and -features of Toffee. It was a vision to prod the sternest lips into a -smile.</p> - -<p>Then the smile vanished as Julie's footsteps sounded outside in the -hallway. Marc listened to their approach, turning his eyes toward the -door.</p> - -<p>He could almost see her standing there in the hallway beyond the closed -door. Desolated with remorse, she would be, undecided. A trickle of -compassion gullied the surface of Marc's resentment. After all, she -had really meant to hurt him. He would have called out to her, but the -footsteps sounded anew and retreated down the hall. A moment later a -door opened and closed. Marc sighed; tomorrow would be time enough to -make it up to her.</p> - -<p>He closed his eyes as a slow drowsiness began to seep through his lean -body—probably the sedatives going to work. His mind wandered aimlessly -for a moment, then collided, quite forcibly, with a sudden realization; -during the last hour—for the first time in weeks—his thoughts had -turned away from the dismal state of the world and centered on himself. -For a whole hour his interest had been entirely absorbed in a simple -domestic crisis—a little thing like a fight over the radio!</p> - -<p>Marc's mind spun with the thought. In the last few months things—the -matters of men's lives—had somehow gotten themselves all turned around -backwards. People had ceased to concern themselves with the really -important things—fighting over a radio, for instance—and had turned -to the childish business of blowing up the world.</p> - -<p>Marc paused to sum up these thoughts. Somewhere they contained a very -great and very simple truth, though they were all snarled up. Somehow -his dislocated sacroiliac and the troubles of the world were subtly -related....</p> - -<p>The drowsiness washed over his mind again, and the thought was carried -away on the crest. He reached after them, but couldn't quite make it. -There was but one last glimmer:</p> - -<p>"What this world needs," Marc murmured, "is a good five ton kick in -the...."</p> - -<p>His eyes closed, and instantly his chest began to rise and fall with -the deep, regular breathing of complete sleep.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A warm breeze dusted the edge of the curtain and set it rippling. -Somewhere in the night, in the distance across the city, a siren wailed -with inconsolable melancholy. A cat stalked the intersection, as silent -and intense as his leopard-long shadow. In his narcotic slumbers Marc -rolled a bit to one side and made a small whimpering sound as the -adhesive pulled at his back. He lay back and was still.</p> - -<p>But Marc had dismissed all conscious memory of his injury some time -hence. In the same moment when he had fallen asleep he had left the -room of the rippling curtain and unhappy echoes and had passed into the -untroubled, all-black world of unconsciousness.</p> - -<p>Now, however, he stirred again, and with that almost indiscernible -movement, leaped from the darkness into lighter regions; into the -secret, all-things-are-possible world of his subconscious—into the -world where dreams can become more real than reality itself. Marc -paused on the brink of this world for one tremulous moment, then -plunged forward....</p> - -<p>Brilliant light shot up to meet him so that he had to close his eyes -against the glare. Then, slowly, he opened them again. Much like the -sensation of stepping onto cool lawn after having walked barefoot on -scorching concrete, pain was swiftly followed by almost unbearable -pleasure.</p> - -<p>Before Marc's gaze a soft greenness stretched away from him into -graceful rising slopes and cool shadowed hollows—artfully like a -display of green velvet in a shop window. On the rise of the most -distant knoll stretched a forest of strange trees which held at once a -cathedral of stateliness and a feathery pliability. Weaving slightly -with the breeze they were mindful of nothing so much as a handful of -royal plumes stuck into the earth at the whim of a bemused child. The -Valley of The Subconscious Mind....</p> - -<p>Marc knew instantly where he was; he'd been there often enough before. -He glanced around in search of some movement, some flash of animated -color. But there was nothing. He started up the rise, stretching his -long legs purposefully before him. Surely she would be there, probably -among the trees.</p> - -<p>But she was not. Nor was there any sign of her. Marc moved to the crest -of the knoll where the trees were the thickest, but the far horizon -proved to be obscured by a blue mist that swirled and disported itself -in the way of something alive. He stood there for a long moment, -turning slowly, watching anxiously for any sign, but there was none. -Finally he sat down, braced his elbows on his knees and rested his -chin in his hand. Disappointment welled inside him—and hurt too; -always before she had been right there to meet him at the moment of his -arrival.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He stiffened with a sudden, dreadful thought: what if Toffee wasn't -there at all? What if she had ceased to exist? Wasn't it possible -since she was only a product of his imagination? He stood up and again -scanned the horizon. He bent down to peer into the shifting frontiers -of the mists.</p> - -<p>And then it happened. It was low and mean and sharply reminiscent of a -similar agony which had befallen him in another time and place that he -couldn't rightly remember. Grabbing himself uninhibitedly he doubled -forward and sat down heavily on the ground.</p> - -<p>Then it was over as swiftly and surprisingly as it had begun. The air -rippled with musical, feminine laughter, somewhere behind him. Marc -swung around.</p> - -<p>Lovely as ever, her mist-textured tunic only served to cast a cool -greenish tint on the flesh of the outrageously perfect body beneath -it. As she moved from beneath the trees, her flaming hair fell loose -about her shoulders, as free and wild as the spirit it adorned. Though -her full red lips quivered with laughter, the real laughter was in the -depths of her green eyes. She paused for a moment, then ran forward and -sat down lightly at his side. She eyed him with mischievous amusement.</p> - -<p>"You dilapidated old despot," she smiled. "It's about time you showed -that simpering old face of yours around here again."</p> - -<p>Marc, mindful of his recent discomfiture, returned her gaze with chilly -suspicion. But if Toffee noticed she pretended not to. With a quick -maneuver which was executed with the skill and precision obtainable -only through long and diligent practice, she twined her arms about his -neck and kissed him full upon the mouth. Marc received the kiss with -unblinking aloofness. His gaze remained hostile even as she leaned back -from him.</p> - -<p>"You kicked me," he said injuredly.</p> - -<p>Toffee's eyes widened with enormous innocence. "You've got it wrong. I -kissed you, that's all."</p> - -<p>"Kicked," Marc said stubbornly. "You kicked me."</p> - -<p>"Where?"</p> - -<p>"Never mind."</p> - -<p>"I was yards away from you at the time," Toffee said. "You saw me, -yourself."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc reflected. It was true; she hadn't even been in sight. Still, -experience had taught him that she was capable of anything, perhaps -even a long-distance boot in the bottom.</p> - -<p>"Well, somebody did it," he said sullenly.</p> - -<p>"I swear it wasn't me," Toffee said stoutly. "I swear it on the old -bald head of my maternal grandfather."</p> - -<p>"You haven't got a maternal grandfather," Marc said shortly. "Don't -talk nonsense."</p> - -<p>"If I had a maternal grandfather," Toffee amended smoothly, "and he had -an old bald head, I would unhesitatingly swear on it."</p> - -<p>"You would just as unhesitatingly lop it off with an axe, too," Marc -said, "if it served your purpose."</p> - -<p>"Who wouldn't?" Toffee said. "Who wants an old bald head around all the -time? Even a maternal grandfather's?"</p> - -<p>"You haven't got a grandfather," Marc reminded her sharply, "maternal -or otherwise."</p> - -<p>"Certainly, I have," Toffee said stoutly. "I just swore on his old bald -head, didn't I? Or did I swear <i>at</i> his old bald head? I wouldn't be -surprised. He's always whining around about how maternal he is, and I -know darned well he's never been a mother in his life. It's disgusting."</p> - -<p>"Sometimes I wonder why I even listen to you," Marc said. "I only get -dizzy."</p> - -<p>"Well, it's no wonder I'm flighty with that nasty old man under foot -all the time," Toffee said. "If you'd just speak to this maternal -grandfather of mine and tell him to stop sticking his old bald head -into everything...."</p> - -<p>"Stop!" Marc cried. "If you go on any more about it I'll start foaming -at the mouth!"</p> - -<p>Toffee lay back on the grass and stretched her arms thoughtfully above -her head.</p> - -<p>"Anyway," she said. "I swear my foot has not so much as brushed the -seat of your pants." But even as she said it a smile played fleetingly -at the corners of her mouth.</p> - -<p>Marc turned to her, prepared to the last inflection to inform her that -he would trust her only a little less farther than he could hurl a -steam shovel with his bare teeth, but he did not speak. His gaze went -to her left hand and remained there.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>In all the time he had known her Marc had never seen Toffee wear even -a single piece of jewelry: it was taken for granted that her charms -were sufficient unto themselves without any superficial ornamentation. -One might be silly enough to apply gilt to a lily, but never to a gold -piece. Therefore, he was surprised now to glance down and see quite a -large ring on her finger.</p> - -<p>And the ring itself was quite as remarkable as the fact of Toffee's -wearing it. Marc had never seen anything like it before and was willing -to bet a tidy sum that no one else had either.</p> - -<p>The metal part of the ring was neither silver nor gold, yet faintly -resembled both—with a strange translucent quality that seemed -altogether unreal. It had been fashioned into a design that was both -simple and beautiful. But it was really the stone which caught and held -Marc's eye.</p> - -<p>Such a stone was simply not possible! It resembled an emerald of the -largest, rarest and most beautiful kind, and yet it was not an emerald. -No mere emerald, no natural chemical fluke, could possibly have the -life—the almost living vitality—of this stone. It gave off a light -that met the eye with something like an electrical shock. But that -wasn't all. It was the <i>feeling</i> you got just from looking at it—that -the stone both absorbed from and contributed to the living atmosphere -around it. The thing actually assumed a personality as you stared at -it. Marc felt a shiver of apprehension.</p> - -<p>"Where did you get that ring?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Oh, that," Toffee said negligently. "Just something I dreamed up out -of my head—the way you dream me up."</p> - -<p>"You mean...?"</p> - -<p>"Sure," Toffee nodded. "You aren't the only one around here who can do -cerebral somersaults. After all, I'm right here at the source. As a -matter of fact it was something you said that gave me the idea."</p> - -<p>"What do you mean?" Marc asked. "What did I say?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, I forget just how it went right now," Toffee said. "Besides -there'll be lots of time for all this dull conversation later. Right -now...."</p> - -<p>"Are you trying to hold something back from me?" Marc asked -suspiciously.</p> - -<p>"Nothing," Toffee said. She pulled herself closer, brushed her lips -playfully across his cheek. "Absolutely nothing." She slipped her arm -around his neck.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The next few seconds were characterized with quiet struggle as Marc -disengaged himself from her determined embrace.</p> - -<p>"Next time hold something back," he said confusedly. "There's just so -much that human flesh and blood can stand, you know."</p> - -<p>"And you have so little of either," Toffee said. She gazed at him -reflectively. "Kissing you is like tying on your bib over a plate of -bleached bones."</p> - -<p>"Leave it to you to paint a disgusting picture," Marc shuddered.</p> - -<p>"Give me a good heaping plate of bleached bones any time," Toffee said. -"I'd prefer it."</p> - -<p>"May I remind you," Marc said coolly, "that it was you who hurled -yourself into my arms? You seemed to be all for it at the time."</p> - -<p>"Merely the touch of the artist," Toffee said archly. "Just fitting -myself into a part."</p> - -<p>"Have I ever thought to tell you," Marc said, "that you are the most -unprincipled, low-minded...?"</p> - -<p>Then suddenly his voice dried in his throat. His gaze darted away from -Toffee's face and swept frightenedly across the horizon.</p> - -<p>"Oh, my gosh!" he cried.</p> - -<p>Suddenly, like a slow dissolve in a movie, the little valley was simply -melting away into black nothingness. Already the distant trees had -disappeared. Marc jumped to his feet.</p> - -<p>"Look!" he yelled. "Look!"</p> - -<p>Toffee was instantly beside him. For a moment she gazed on the -horrifying spectacle, then tugged imperatively at his sleeve.</p> - -<p>"Come on!" she cried. "Let's run!"</p> - -<p>But as they turned in the other direction the blackness only rushed at -them anew; it was coming all around them. They stopped short.</p> - -<p>"Will we drop away into nothing?" Toffee wailed, "or just melt away -with everything else?"</p> - -<p>"We'll find out soon enough," Marc moaned.</p> - -<p>And perhaps a bit sooner, it seemed, for even as Marc spoke, the -darkness swooped to within yards of them.</p> - -<p>Toffee drew close to Marc, trembling a bit, and he placed his arm about -her shoulders. They stood in expectant silence for a moment, watching -the greenness disappear around them. Then, all at once, it was gone -beneath them.</p> - -<p>It was just as they plunged downward into the darkness that Toffee -threw her arms about Marc's neck and held tight....</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The world reeled drunkenly through space ... whirled away with -egg-shaped lopsidedness ... and then there was nothing left anywhere -but the original dough from which everything had been made in the first -place ... messy, clammy stuff ... and you sank deeper and deeper into -it no matter how hard you struggled. Marc tried to cry out....</p> - -<p>And then there was an answer, a scraping of metal on metal. A light -showed ahead, dulled and heavily diffused, but it came suddenly. A -voice spoke encouragement....</p> - -<p>"Just a minute, and I'll dig you out. How you ever managed to get -snarled up like that flat on your back...."</p> - -<p>The voice continued scolding him with affection, and a minute later the -doughy mass was pulled aside, and he could see that it was only the -perspiration-covered sheets. He looked at them, then beyond them to -Julie's gently smiling face. Morning was crowding into the room through -the windows behind her.</p> - -<p>"'Morning," he said sheepishly. "Thanks."</p> - -<p>In silence Julie handed him a glass of orange juice, and he boosted -himself forward to drink it.</p> - -<p>"How's your ... your back?" she asked tentatively. "Is it better?"</p> - -<p>Marc returned the glass to her, tried a few movements involving his -mummified spine. There was no definite pain, only a suggestion of -stiffness.</p> - -<p>"Brand new," he said, and smiled.</p> - -<p>"Oh, I'm so relieved!" Julie breathed. She sat down close beside him on -the bed. "I'm sorry, Marc."</p> - -<p>For a moment they only looked at each other. Then, suddenly breaking -into laughter, they fell into each other's arms.</p> - -<p>"Oh, Marc!" Julie cried. "I haven't been so happy in months. I don't -know why. Nothing's changed; everything's in the same old mess, and -considering what I did to you last night I ought to feel just awful. -But I don't, and I just can't explain it."</p> - -<p>"Maybe I can," Marc said slowly. "I think ... just before I fell asleep -last night ... I think something very important occurred to me. I -think...!"</p> - -<p>Suddenly his voice degenerated into a thin wheeze as the air rushed out -of his lungs. He looked as though nothing of even minor importance had -passed through his mind from the day of his birth. Julie looked up at -him with anxious surprise.</p> - -<p>"What is it, dear?" she asked. "What's wrong?"</p> - -<p>Marc didn't answer; he only stared—into the mirror across the room. -Even as he watched, the horrifying thing he had witnessed a moment -before repeated itself.</p> - -<p>Across the room, almost exactly opposite the mirror was a small alcove, -just big enough to accommodate his desk and filing cabinet. When the -compartment was not in use a set of curtains concealed its existence. -It was the reflection of these curtains and their sudden curious -behavior which had set Marc's hair on end.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>For curtains which were meant only to hang blissfully on metal rods -and behave themselves, these were weaving about in a most distressing -fashion. In fact they were carrying on in such a loose-minded way that -it was a wonder Marc did not return his head to the cover of the soggy -sheets and leave it there just to be spared the sight.</p> - -<p>As it was, Marc peered wildly into the mirror as the curtains suddenly -parted themselves, took on individual lives of their own, and began to -twist about in the air in a way that defied all reason. This continued -for several seconds, then matters got worse.</p> - -<p>The curtain on the left retreated from the performance and hung -limp. Marc sighed a sigh of relief, only to catch his breath in a -new convulsion of horror. The curtain on the right, not content with -behaving like something human, had decided to look like something human -as well. Actually, in the manner of a close fitting dress, the thing -began to assume bumps and hollows of an extremely feminine and alarming -nature. It was then, and only a moment before a flash of red hair -showed around the edge of the curtain, that Marc realized the awful -truth of the situation; Toffee had materialized. She had materialized -in his bedroom, without any clothes, and was trying to fashion a dress -for herself from the draperies.</p> - -<p>"Darling!" Julie cried. "Why are you looking like that? What's the -matter?"</p> - -<p>Julie's voice suddenly reminded Marc of the real danger in the -situation. He glanced up, reached out and gripped Julie's shoulders -just in time to prevent her turning about to see what he was staring at.</p> - -<p>"There's nothing wrong!" He laughed falsely. "Everything's wonderful! -Wonderful! Go get me some breakfast!"</p> - -<p>"What?" Julie asked confusedly.</p> - -<p>But Marc's gaze had again been captured by a movement in the mirror. As -he looked up Toffee's reflection smiled brightly at him and waved.</p> - -<p>"Stay where you are!" Marc gibbered. "Go back!"</p> - -<p>"What?" Julie asked.</p> - -<p>Marc looked at her unhappily. "I'm starving!" he gibbered. "Get me -something to eat! I may start gnawing on the bedpost in a minute!"</p> - -<p>"But you just said for me to stay where I was. Why?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, yes, I know," Marc said. He smiled feebly. "What I mean is that -I'm hungry and want breakfast, but I hate to see you leave to get it -because ... because it's so nice to see you this morning...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Julie smiled uncertainly and patted his head. "I'll get you something -right away," she said. "But I'll hurry."</p> - -<p>"Oh, don't!" Marc said. "Take all the time you want!"</p> - -<p>Julie looked at him quizzically and started to rise from the bed. -Unfortunately for everyone's peace of mind Toffee chose that moment to -stick one shapely leg around the edge of the curtain.</p> - -<p>"Don't!" Marc yelled.</p> - -<p>Julie sat down quickly and reached a hand to Marc's brow. "But how can -I get breakfast if I don't leave?" she asked patiently.</p> - -<p>Marc turned to her with an harrassed expression. "You can't!" he cried. -"That's just it! So leave! Go on! Go 'way!"</p> - -<p>"What!" An expression of utter hopelessness came over Julie's face.</p> - -<p>"Go!" Marc said desperately. "Hurry!"</p> - -<p>Julie stared at him for a long moment. "Are you sure you aren't -harboring some sort of terrible grudge against me for what I did last -night?" she asked slowly. "I'll understand perfectly if...."</p> - -<p>"No, no, no!" Marc broke in. "I was never more fond of you than I am -right at this minute. Go away."</p> - -<p>"All right," Julie said. "I'm going. But don't call me back this time -the minute I make a move for the door."</p> - -<p>"I won't," Marc said. "I'll be silent as the grave."</p> - -<p>Julie leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the forehead, then started -across the room toward the door. "I'll be back practically instantly."</p> - -<p>Quickly, Marc whirled around and stared in the direction of the alcove. -As he did so the blood in his veins was sorely put to it whether to -run hot or cold; Toffee, curve-some as a serpent and twice as fleshy, -had stepped from behind the curtains and, at the moment, had arranged -herself into a posture of highly seductive nature. This, judging by her -expression, she considered humorous in the extreme. Not so, Marc.</p> - -<p>"No!" he cried. "Stop!"</p> - -<p>Julie did not bother to turn around; she merely stopped where she was -in the doorway and placed her hands carefully on her hips. "Oh, no!" -she groaned. "I've married a man who fancies himself a traffic signal!"</p> - -<p>"No!" Marc yelled. "Not you!"</p> - -<p>"Then who?" Julie asked with threadbare patience. "The twenty-seven -little men with pointed heads sitting on the bureau? Is that who you -mean, dearest?"</p> - -<p>"Just go!" Marc implored her. "Go!"</p> - -<p>"Stop, go, stop, go, stop go!" Julie shrilled. "I am not operated -electrically. More's the pity!" Slowly she started to turn around to -face her ever-changing spouse and—eventually—the nakedest redhead -any wife ever had the sheer horror of discovering in her husband's bed -chamber.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc felt fate bearing down on him in a way that made him understand -the feelings of a deeply rooted daisy looking up at an approaching -steam roller. He turned away and closed his eyes in the cowering aspect -of one who expects to receive a load of brickbats on the nape of the -neck. He stood, his nerves alerted against Julie's cry. There was a -beat of silence—then it came.</p> - -<p>But it was not the cry that Marc had braced himself against. This cry -was sharply out of character, not at all the triumphant cawe of a -wronged wife laying hand to definite proof of her husband's perfidy. -This was sheerly, unmistakably a cry of basic, physical pain.</p> - -<p>Marc opened his eyes and turned around, then started back with a gasp -of surprise. Julie, the beauty who always walked in regal stateliness, -whose every move and gesture was a masterpiece of living poetry, was -suddenly squatting in the doorway, clutching at herself in a way which -was not only ungainly but downright repellent.</p> - -<p>For a long moment surprise rendered Marc totally incapable of action. -Then with a burst of logic and simultaneous realization, he whirled in -Toffee's direction. Suddenly, this whole shuddering situation was all -too clear to him.</p> - -<p>Toffee, now completely emerged from her place of hiding, turned and -smiled at him in a conspiratorial and knowing way. Marc noticed that -her left hand was raised significantly in Julie's direction, while the -right was held over the face of the curious ring, as though shading it.</p> - -<p>He stared at her in horror; he couldn't imagine exactly what part the -unearthly ring was playing in Julie's unlovely predicament, but he was -absolutely certain that it was responsible to some degree or another. -He was stunned beyond caution.</p> - -<p>"Stop that," he demanded angrily. "Stop that instantly!"</p> - -<p>Julie, still crouching in the doorway, her back to the room, trembled -violently and turned her eyes to the ceiling.</p> - -<p>"Do you think I'm doing this because I like it?" she gritted between -clenched teeth. "Do you actually imagine I wouldn't stop it if I could, -you beast?"</p> - -<p>"Now, Julie...!" Marc turned about, held out an imploring hand to her -arched back.</p> - -<p>"You shut up, you vindictive vermin!" Julie hissed, announcing her -sentiments through the length of the outer hallway. "So you bear no -grudge, huh? Hah! I'm only surprised you didn't break your back under -the load!"</p> - -<p>"Julie...!" Marc pleaded. "You don't under...!"</p> - -<p>"No!" Julie broke in. "Oh, no! Don't you dare say I don't understand! -And don't tell me I don't know when I've been brutally, wantonly and -vengefully kicked from and in the rear!"</p> - -<p>"<i>Julie!</i>" Marc gasped. "I didn't kick you. I know it's hard to -believe, but...."</p> - -<p>"You're darned tootin' it's hard to believe!" Julie sneered. "In fact -it's impossible to believe, you liar!"</p> - -<p>"But...!"</p> - -<p>"Well, aren't you at least going to call the doctor? As inhuman as we -both now know you to be, there must be some slim thread of decency -somewhere in the tacky fabric of that character of yours."</p> - -<p>Marc turned beseechingly to Toffee.</p> - -<p>"Please," he implored her. "<i>Please!</i> You're not helping matters, you -know, in taking that attitude."</p> - -<p>"Ohhh!" Julie groaned. "I didn't take this attitude, I was kicked into -it!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>With a bland smile Toffee nodded to Marc. Then carefully she removed -her hand from the ring, and there was a bright glitter from its -surface. Toffee winked broadly and stepped back into the alcove. In -the doorway Julie straightened instantly and turned around, her hands -clenched tightly at her sides. She stretched her back tentatively.</p> - -<p>"Well, I'm all right again," she announced heavily. "No thanks to you, -Mr. Wife Kicker!"</p> - -<p>"Julie ..." Marc began, "you've got to listen to me!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no, I don't!" Julie corrected him emphatically. "I don't have to -listen to you. All I have to do is convince myself that I like that -lamp over there too well to shatter it on your skull." Calming herself -with an effort, she eyed him with controlled malevolence. She breathed -deeply. "I think I can trust myself now not to run to the kitchen for -the ice pick." She turned away. "Goodbye, Mr. Marcus Pillsworth!"</p> - -<p>"Julie...!"</p> - -<p>"And may your soul blister in everlasting hell!" Julie added as she -swept out of the room and into the hallway.</p> - -<p>Marc stood undecided for a moment. He started toward the hall, then -checked himself and spun around in the direction of the alcove. Two -striding steps brought him to the drapes, and with a single sweeping -gesture of outrage, raked them aside. Toffee was disclosed sitting on -the edge of the desk, one leg crossed casually over the other, blowing -on her nails. She glanced up and smiled innocently.</p> - -<p>"Lo," she said.</p> - -<p>"Why you slithering little reptile!" Marc barked. "Of all the witless -stunts...!"</p> - -<p>Toffee waggled a slender finger at his costume. "Has anyone ever told -you how cunning you look in those pajamas?" she murmured. "Are they -ripped that way on purpose for ventilation?"</p> - -<p>With a seizure of modesty Marc snatched at the curtains and clutched -them around him. He looked rather like a Roman senator with his toga -slipping. Toffee laughed.</p> - -<p>"I thought that would put the muzzle on you, you old Puritan," she -said.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc drew himself up to his full six feet and two inches, and eyed her -with lofty disdain. "You're in a nice position to talk," he observed -frigidly.</p> - -<p>"I'm in a nice position for a lot of things," Toffee sighed, "but you'd -never notice."</p> - -<p>Marc cleared his throat and averted his eyes. "Don't be brazen," he -said. "I would offer you these curtains if I didn't need them so -desperately myself."</p> - -<p>"Always the perfect host," Toffee commented.</p> - -<p>"Never mind me," Marc said. "What about you? Whatever possessed you to -do a thing like that?"</p> - -<p>"Like what?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, stop it," Marc said wearily. "It was perfectly evident that you -were at the bottom of that little demonstration."</p> - -<p>"At the bottom?" Toffee laughed. "You put it so well. Unless you wanted -to say I was at the seat of things."</p> - -<p>"There you go. Just give you a simple statement and you squeeze enough -dirt out of it to start a truck farm." Marc agitated his drapes. -"Either you tell me what you're up to or I'll stop projecting you if I -have to belt myself over the head with a sledge hammer."</p> - -<p>Toffee smiled slowly. "I might as well make a clean breast of it," she -said. "If the anatomical reference doesn't strike you as too racy?"</p> - -<p>"Never mind," Marc said shortly. "You wouldn't recognize a moral -scruple if it were presented to you in a glass jar."</p> - -<p>"Very well," Toffee said. "Apparently you've guessed the function of -my ring." She held up her hand and the fearsome ornament glittered -brightly. "Actually the stone projects a ray which, in effect, -sensitizes the bones and tissues of the human body, separates them -slightly according to how long you time the concentration, and holds -them apart. Maybe you noticed that Julie, just before her accident, was -slightly taller than usual. Anyway, once you have the subject focused, -it's only a matter of breaking the ray quickly with the other hand. -Things, drawn apart and out of line snap back with such a force that -the subject might just as well be struck with a hammer." She looked at -Marc. "See what I mean?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"I think so." Marc said slowly. "In other words you focused the -radiation on the base of Julie's spine, drew ... uh ... things out -of line, broke the suspending force suddenly, so that they jarred -together with such momentum that they were thrown out of place ... the -sacroiliac, in this case."</p> - -<p>"Exactly," Toffee said. "In effect, I simply gave your wife a good -rousing kick in the...."</p> - -<p>"Croup," Marc supplied quickly.</p> - -<p>"In the croup," Toffee agreed. "And when I wanted her to get over it I -merely pulled the ... things ... apart again, then released them more -gently so as to return them to their proper adjustment."</p> - -<p>"But what I want to know," Marc said evenly, "is just what possessed -you to demonstrate this diabolical little gadget on Julie?"</p> - -<p>"Two reasons," Toffee explained. "First to make sure the ring works the -way I planned it, second to get Julie out of the way."</p> - -<p>"Get her out of the way?" Marc repeated apprehensively. "Now look -here if you have any sordid notions about a dalliance on a divan, for -instance...."</p> - -<p>"I always have those notions," Toffee said. "However at the moment I'm -having them in conjunction with other notions." She smiled prettily. -"I've come to straighten out the world."</p> - -<p>"You <i>what</i>?" Marc asked incredulously.</p> - -<p>"You will admit it needs straightening out?" Toffee asked complacently.</p> - -<p>"Well, yes," Marc said. "But believe me the one thing it doesn't need -is your ministrations. It couldn't take it. And I wish you'd get rid of -that filthy ring."</p> - -<p>"Why should I?" Toffee asked. "After all it was just as much your idea -as mine."</p> - -<p>"My idea?" Marc said. "How do you figure that?"</p> - -<p>"You said it plain as anything," Toffee said, "last night, just before -you went to sleep. You said the world needed a good swift kick."</p> - -<p>"Oh, my gosh!" Marc said. "And so you've...!" He pointed at the ring.</p> - -<p>Toffee nodded proudly. "I'm the girl that's right in there with the -goods. Everything will be just dandy in no time."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Oh, Lord!" Marc groaned. "Of all the things I've said in my life, you -would have to pick on that!" He stopped, sighed heavily, looked at her -long and wearily. "Well, you can just pack up your ring and your sex -appeal and trot right back to where you came from. Of all the idiotic -notions...!"</p> - -<p>"Huh-uh," Toffee shook her head. "It's an idea that appeals to me. -Besides, if enough of the right people get kicked in the right -places ... well, what have we got to lose?"</p> - -<p>"Also," Marc said coolly, "I don't believe I thanked you yet for -wrecking my home. I take it that is a sample of your methods for -establishing unity and good will?"</p> - -<p>"Good will?" Toffee smiled. "I have other methods for that." She slid -off the edge of the desk and moved purposefully toward him.</p> - -<p>"You lay a hand on these drapes," Marc said nervously, "and I'll -scream. I mean it! Julie is still here, you know."</p> - -<p>Just then, as though to deliberately make a liar of him, the front door -slammed downstairs.</p> - -<p>"We are quite, quite alone," Toffee murmured significantly.</p> - -<p>"Go away!" Marc said, trembling in his draperies. "Go back where you -came from. Heaven knows things are bad enough already...."</p> - -<p>"Oh, stop it," Toffee said. "We have business to attend to."</p> - -<p>"Business?"</p> - -<p>"Yes. As long as I've gotten myself all materialized to save the world -I suppose I might just as well pitch in and get it over with. Business -before pleasure, as they say. I figure I can have these world affairs -you've been brooding over set ship-shape in less time than it takes -a flat-chested girl to shuck on her girdle. Then I'll be free to -concentrate on you without interruption."</p> - -<p>"No!" Marc said suddenly. "I don't know why I waste my time listening -to this prattle. Save the world! Indeed! I'm taking you down to the -office where you can't harm anyone and leave you there till you decide -to evaporate. Both the world and I have enough headaches already."</p> - -<p>"You've dropped your drapes," Toffee observed mildly.</p> - -<p>"Hang the drapes!" Marc said forcibly and, taking a hitch in his -gaping pajamas, strode into the bathroom ... and locked the door.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Driving, particularly toward the center of the city, had lately -become hazardous; the motorist never knew what insanity awaited him -just around the next corner. At an intersection Marc stopped the car -before a group of white-haired, bonneted old ladies who were gleefully -engrossed in a game of croquet that had something to do with knocking -your opponent's ball into an open manhole. At the sound of Marc's horn -one of the aged gamesters glanced around demurely and peered at him -through silver-rimmed glasses.</p> - -<p>"Can it, you creep," she shrilled. "You wanna louse my shot?"</p> - -<p>She might have said more except that her attention was suddenly drawn -to the manhole, where the grimy head of a workman rose slowly like a -soiled and rather timid moon. Lifting her skirts delicately so that -only the minimum of ankle was exposed the lady minced daintily forward -and belted the head a stunning blow with her mallet. Without a murmur -the head retreated once more into the deeps of the city sewage system.</p> - -<p>"Danged whelp keeps poppin' up and spoilin' our innocent fun," the old -lady said sullenly. "Does it just to aggravate us." She turned to one -of her companions. "Shag me the bottle, Lana."</p> - -<p>The lady in question produced a bottle of bourbon from the folds of her -skirt. "Right-o, Rita," she said. "Blood in your eye!"</p> - -<p>Marc shook his head sadly, but Toffee, huddled beside him in one of his -topcoats, saw a certain charm in the sketch.</p> - -<p>"Personally," she said, "I like to see folks growing old disgracefully. -It makes the inevitability of age more attractive. After a lifetime of -perfecting sins and vices you ought to be able to take them with you at -least as far as the grave."</p> - -<p>Passing by this bit of lopsided philosophy, Marc wheeled the car onto -the sidewalk and skirted the field of play.</p> - -<p>"The whole world's gone mad," he murmured.</p> - -<p>It was a block later, at the sight of the Empire Department Store, that -Toffee instructed Marc to stop the car.</p> - -<p>"I want to pick up a few fine feathers," she explained. "I may want to -take a flier later on."</p> - -<p>"You won't need clothes," Marc informed her. "The office is most -informal these days, especially since the staff has left."</p> - -<p>"If I'm going to languish," Toffee said, "I'm going to do it in silks -and satins. Besides, if you don't stop I'll darned well cripple you -with my jewelry."</p> - -<p>Marc pulled the car to the curb without further discussion.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>They left the car and entered the Empire, where aisles and counters -stretched into the distance over gleaming floors. A dark girl with -circles under her eyes lounged dreamily at a counter displaying gloves -and handbags. They approached. But just as they did so a short, stocky -individual in a turtle-neck sweater hurried up to the girl from the -opposite direction. He stopped abruptly and stuck a revolver in the -girl's face, waggling it just beneath her nose. Crossing her eyes -drowsily, the girl observed the gun, then the man.</p> - -<p>"Oh, fer Cris'sake," she murmured.</p> - -<p>"Hand over the cash, sister," the man growled.</p> - -<p>"Okay," the girl yawned. "Only don't rush me, see?" She reached under -the counter and brought forth a bag such as money is kept in. She -scratched herself delicately and dropped the bag on the counter. "I -figured I'd have it ready this time," she said. "Anything else, sir?"</p> - -<p>"Yeah," the thug snarled, brandishing the gun anew. "Now lay down on -the floor and don't open your trap until I'm gone."</p> - -<p>"Aw, that corny routine, huh?" the girl sneered.</p> - -<p>"G'wan!"</p> - -<p>The girl shrugged indifferently, then boosted herself away from the -counter and disappeared slowly beneath its horizon. The thug departed -in the direction of the street.</p> - -<p>For a moment Marc and Toffee were left to ponder this episode in -solitude, then the girl slowly reappeared, leaned her elbows on the -counter. She swiveled her bored eyes in their direction apathetically.</p> - -<p>"Yuh want something?" she drawled.</p> - -<p>"Aren't you going to scream or something?" Toffee asked with quiet -curiosity.</p> - -<p>"Scream?" the girl asked. "What'd I want to scream for?"</p> - -<p>"Well," Toffee said. "It may be that I'm just the excitable type, but -if I'd just been robbed I'd sound off like a crash alarm."</p> - -<p>"Oh, that," the girl murmured. "That wasn't nothing, honey. Take a look -over there."</p> - -<p>Marc and Toffee gazed in the direction she indicated—a counter laden -with expensive handbags. As they looked a hand darted furtively from -beneath the counter, grasped one of the bags and instantly disappeared -again. A moment later the action was repeated.</p> - -<p>"What in the...?" Marc said.</p> - -<p>"A purse snatcher," the girl said. "He's good, too. He can clean out a -whole counter in half an hour sometimes."</p> - -<p>"Don't you care?" Toffee asked.</p> - -<p>"I should care," the girl shrugged. "They're stealin' the store blind -from end to end. What's the diff? What's the store going to do with -money when it's blasted off the face of the earth?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Toffee and Marc, before they had had time to digest this, were diverted -by a small movement at the end of the counter. The face of the thug who -had presumably just departed appeared briefly from behind a display of -gloves.</p> - -<p>"<i>Psst!</i>" it said.</p> - -<p>"The place is infested!" Toffee said.</p> - -<p>"Excuse me," the salesgirl said, "I'll be right back. If you see -anything you like just slip it into your stocking, honey." She ambled -over to the glove display. "Yeah?" she inquired.</p> - -<p>The face was joined by a hand bearing the money bag.</p> - -<p>"Here," he said, "I din' take nothin' outa it."</p> - -<p>"Don't you want it?" the girl asked.</p> - -<p>"Let's do it over again," the thug said. "Only this time give it a -little somethin', will yuh? Scream and carry on a little bit so's I can -get the feel of it better."</p> - -<p>"Oh, okay," the girl said listlessly. She accepted the bag and returned -to Marc and Toffee. "Whatta pest," she said. "All day all he does is -hold me up, that's all, just hold me up. I get tired of it."</p> - -<p>"Doesn't the manager mind this sort of thing?" Marc asked.</p> - -<p>"Geez, no," the girl said. "The manager don't mind anything any more. -Why should he? He'll cork off just as fast as the janitor when the -bombs drop."</p> - -<p>At this juncture the thug stepped from behind the glove display, waving -his gun excitedly.</p> - -<p>"This is a stickup!" he announced.</p> - -<p>"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the girl murmured. "What else?"</p> - -<p>"Go on an' scream," the bandit said in a lower tone. "You said you -would. You promised."</p> - -<p>"So okay," the girl agreed. She turned to Marc and Toffee. "You see how -it is—borin'." Then she threw back her head and gave vent to a shriek -that echoed back from the high ceiling with all the painful discord of -a trainload of jealous opera stars going through an underpass in full -voice. When it was over she leaned back on the counter and stifled a -yawn. "So was it okay?" she asked.</p> - -<p>"Not bad," the bandit said admiringly. "Now hand over the dough and git -down on the floor!"</p> - -<p>"Aw, have a heart," the girl said. "I've been down on the floor so much -today I'm beginning to feel like a dust mop." She nodded to Marc and -Toffee. "Make them get down on the floor for a change."</p> - -<p>The thug glanced around, then quickly away. "I couldn't!" he whispered. -"They're total strangers!"</p> - -<p>"Take the money and git," the girl said. "And don't come bringin' it -back, 'cause I'm through for today. I'm bushed."</p> - -<p>"Okay," the thug said. "Okay. You don't have to get sore about it!" -Drawing himself up, he departed in a huff of indignation.</p> - -<p>"Now," the girl said. "What was it you wanted?" But just then the -hand of the purse snatcher eased up to the counter and started edging -toward her. She reached out and dealt it a stinging blow. "Sometimes -he takes it into his head to pinch some things that ain't purses," she -explained. "A girl's got to keep an eye on the shifty little devil or -she might get the shock of her life."</p> - -<p>"Where could we find the manager of the store?" Marc asked. "I think if -we talked to him directly...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Just then from across the store came the fearsome sound of steel jaws -closing with a vicious snap, this accompanied by the clatter of chains -and a blood-chilling shriek of pain.</p> - -<p>"That's the manager now," the girl said unconcernedly. "I guess Dolly's -got him trapped again. I'd know his scream anywhere."</p> - -<p>"Trapped?" Toffee asked.</p> - -<p>"Yeah. Over in the sport's department. Last week she got him in a lion -snare, but I guess she's back to her bear traps this week. They cripple -him up so he can't get away so fast."</p> - -<p>"This Dolly," Toffee said. "She bears the manager ill will?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no," the girl said. "She's crazy about him. She's been after him -for years and never got anywhere at all. I guess she figures time's -runnin' out."</p> - -<p>"And this sport's department," Toffee asked. "They have a department -just for sports? I mean, is this manager considered a sport?"</p> - -<p>"He's game," the girl said. "Let's put it that way. The sports -department is where they sell equipment."</p> - -<p>"At least this Dolly suits the locale to the action," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>Just then the atmosphere was rent with another bellow of agony.</p> - -<p>"Come on," Marc said. "The poor devil needs help."</p> - -<p>"Be careful," the girl called after them as they started away. "He's -mean when he's cornered. Snarls and spits like a mad badger. And that -Dolly, she's been mean all her life."</p> - -<p>Marc and Toffee hurried to the sports section and stopped at the -entrance with a gasp of dismay. At the far end of the department a -camping display was being utilized for a scene of mad action.</p> - -<p>A young man of immaculate and personable countenance, one foot held -fast between the jaws of a mammoth bear trap, was energetically -distorting his features and making loud sounds of dissatisfaction.</p> - -<p>The cause of his predicament, a large, athletic, sharp-featured -female, wearing tortoise shell glasses and tennis shorts, stalked him -from behind a teepee. She was carrying a baseball bat, and a mad light -glittered in her eyes. It would have been apparent to even a retarded -child with a disturbed psyche that the young man's chances were slim.</p> - -<p>As Toffee and Marc watched, the young lady with the glasses leered -evilly from around the edge of the teepee and flourished her bat in a -few practice swipes.</p> - -<p>"Ho-ha!" she cried with primitive triumph. "So I've got you at last, -you stinker!" She paused to cackle fiendishly to herself. "You won't -get away this time. I'm going to pound that thick coco of yours so hard -you won't wake up for centuries. And when you wake up—you know what?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The young man, who had ceased to snarl at the beginning of this -overwrought recital, looked around apprehensively. "No," he said. -"What?"</p> - -<p>"You are going to find yourself married, wed, hitched, spliced, mated, -united, espoused, wived, coupled, joined and made one with me. You are -going to be mine in twenty-three languages, in fifteen churches, ten -civil ceremonies and a couple of uncivil ones I just thought up myself. -How do you like them apples, Mr. Smart-stuff?"</p> - -<p>"No!" the young man yelped, reaching for the jaws of the trap. "No! -Never!"</p> - -<p>"Let go of that trap!" the girl yelled. "I'll lop your ears off just -for the sheer hell of it!"</p> - -<p>"We'd better lend a hand here," Marc said. "She'll kill him with love."</p> - -<p>"I can't help admiring her frank, forthright manner," Toffee said. "And -you can't deny that her intentions are almost too honorable. But I can -see where a man might consider her undainty, especially the choosy -kind." Marc started forward, but she reached out a hand and drew him -back. "I'll take care of this," she said. She raised her hand and faced -the ring in the direction of the infuriated Amazon.</p> - -<p>"Hurry up!" Marc said. "Shoot the current to her before she mashes him -to a pulp!"</p> - -<p>Toffee carefully surveyed the scene of primitive love run amok. -The assault on the hapless manager, no longer merely imminent, was -developing rapidly into a crashing reality. The love-crazed Dolly had -risen to her toes and hunched forward to gain the maximum devastation -from the blow.</p> - -<p>"Hurry!" Marc said, and Toffee drew her hand down sharply over the -face of the ring. The results in addition to being instantaneous were -staggeringly bizarre.</p> - -<p>The stalking murderess abandoned her batting stance with a cry and -straightened up throwing her hands over her head. The bat, gaining its -freedom all of a rush sailed high in the air and fell to the floor with -a crash. Dolly, as suddenly as she had righted herself, fell into a -tormented crouch and hugged her bottom with both arms in a fair fit of -devotion to the awful thing. Her glittering eyes seemed to spin wildly -in their sockets, and she clenched her teeth in a manner suggesting -that she had bitten into a high voltage socket and was prepared to blow -a whole bin full of fuses.</p> - -<p>"<i>Yeeeee-ow!</i>" she yelled in shrill tones.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The captive manager, having devined from the tone of Dolly's voice -that the skull-splitting project had run into a snag, opened his eyes -and glanced around hopefully. One peek, however, and his expression -underwent a change, so that he looked for all the world like a young -man who would have preferred immeasurably having his skull crushed to -being confronted in this awful way with a crouching, teeth-gritting -female who beyond any question of a doubt was preparing to spring upon -him and rend him limb from limb with her bare fangs. He shuddered -visibly and looked away. His lips quivered over prayers for an easy -deliverance of his immortal soul. Toffee and Marc hurried forward to -reassure him.</p> - -<p>Once the young man was released, he mopped his brow, glanced around -with a sigh, and instantly spotted the fact that there remained -something in the situation to be explained.</p> - -<p>"What's the matter with her?" he asked of his erstwhile captor. "Why is -she all hunkered down like that?"</p> - -<p>"Either she's a hard loser," Toffee murmured, "or she needs more -roughage. It's hard to say at a glance." She made a quick surreptitious -pass at her ring, and the girl in question fell back limply on the -false grass before the teepee.</p> - -<p>"Who prodded me with a riveting machine?" she asked belligerently.</p> - -<p>"I wish I had," the manager said, rubbing his ankle. He looked at the -trap. "Damn thing's got a nasty bite. I tell you if I were a bear I'd -be very careful around those things."</p> - -<p>"You can't blame a girl if she's got ingenuity," Dolly said sullenly. -"I almost got you, too, you slippery devil."</p> - -<p>"You're fired," the manager said loftily.</p> - -<p>"Oh, yeah?" Dolly said. "I don't quit, see? I haven't even tried guns, -knives, hand grenades, bayonets, hand-to-hand combat and mousetraps -yet. I'm starting in on light side-arms tomorrow."</p> - -<p>"Look," Marc said to the manager. "The young lady would like something -to wear. We're in a hurry. I've got to get back home...."</p> - -<p>"Fine," the manager said. "I was on my way to the fashion salon when -this morbid little affair befell me. I'm to meet Congressman Bloodsop -there, too; he wanted to sit and look at the models. Come along."</p> - -<p>And the three of them left, leaving the luckless Dolly thoughtfully -testing the blade of a machete with the tips of her fingers.</p> - -<p>"You see?" Toffee said to Marc. "You see how easily differences can be -settled under the proper guidance?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The salon, it turned out, was on the fifth floor of the Empire. On the -way the manager paused briefly in the silver department to confer with -a small, detached looking lady called Miss Winters.</p> - -<p>"Things going well?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"Oh, divinely!" Miss Winters twittered. "Just like magic. They're -simply cleaning out the department."</p> - -<p>"Bolting the meat and picking the bones, eh?" the manager beamed. -"Stealing everything in sight, are they?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, just!" Miss Winters nodded. "To give them encouragement, every so -often I close my eyes and feign deep concentration. Every time I open -my eyes the place looks just a little more like a desert wasteland."</p> - -<p>"Just blinking away the merchandise, so to speak?"</p> - -<p>"How cleverly you put it, Mr. Baker! You always were the one with the -well-turned phrase, though." She colored prettily at her own boldness. -"How would you like to hear that we've lost better than twenty thousand -dollars just since opening this morning?"</p> - -<p>"Splendid!" Mr. Baker said. "Splendid! Just keep up the good work, Miss -Winters, and we'll be out of business in no time at all." As he turned -away he smiled broadly at Marc and Toffee. "The sooner we unload all -this junk the sooner we can close up and await the end with composure. -As a matter of fact the advertising department has devised a little -slogan: Steal at the Empire Before you Roast in Hellfire! Clever, eh?"</p> - -<p>"Frightfully," Toffee said, "in the strictest sense of the word."</p> - -<p>"Good grief," Marc said. "They're so used to the idea of dying, they're -getting flip about it."</p> - -<p>"Maybe it's all for the best," Toffee said. "At least their last days -will be pleasant."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>In the grey coolness of the fashion salon, Toffee, Marc and Mr. Baker, -the manager, sank into low, comfortable chairs and accepted the -services of a dark, aloof young lady who brought them drinks in tall, -cool glasses. An orchestra played muted background music as from a -misted distance. All in all the salon was a den of pleasant relaxation.</p> - -<p>Girls of all types and unparalleled beauty paraded constantly in the -latest words from the fashion centers of the world. Some of the fashion -designers, Toffee concluded approvingly, were given to very brief and -suggestive words. She also noted—again with approval—that most of -those in attendance were males.</p> - -<p>"They come here to make dates with the models," the manager explained. -"But then the models come here to make dates with the men, so it's all -right. I see Congressman Bloodsop hasn't arrived yet."</p> - -<p>Toffee leaned forward interestedly. "The congressman?" she said. "Tell -me, is this Congressman Bloodsop a man of influence? Does he have -connections in high places?"</p> - -<p>Marc interrupted the answer. "Pick out some clothes and let's leave," -he said impatiently. "I have to get home and start looking for Julie."</p> - -<p>"That can wait," Toffee said airily. She turned back to Mr. Baker with -a smile. "You were saying...?"</p> - -<p>"The congressman has the best of connections," he said. "He's only been -in office six months and he's already bilked the nation of millions."</p> - -<p>"I see," Toffee said thoughtfully. "And if you were me and were picking -out a dress that would interest Congressman Bloodsop what kind would -you choose?"</p> - -<p>"Something unobtrusive," the manager said. "Nothing to obscure the -view."</p> - -<p>"I see," Toffee said. "The old gaffer has an eye out?"</p> - -<p>"Both eyes. And so far out you could tick them off with a match."</p> - -<p>"Something of a rounder, eh?"</p> - -<p>"Everything of a rounder."</p> - -<p>"Sounds almost too easy," Toffee mused.</p> - -<p>"Here, now," Marc broke in. "What are you up to?"</p> - -<p>"Nothing," Toffee said with great innocence. "A girl likes to make a -good impression on persons of importance." She pointed to the model -across the room who was displaying, besides quite a lot of epidermis, a -dress made of a vaporish material which had been cut with an extremely -frugal hand—almost grudging. "That dress—could I have that one?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, that's a dinger, isn't it?" the manager said approvingly. "You -might say it was practically made for Congressman Bloodsop." He brought -the model over with a nod of the head.</p> - -<p>"Madam wishes to see the dress?" the girl asked.</p> - -<p>"Madam wishes to see the dress on madam," Toffee said. "The sooner the -better."</p> - -<p>"You got guts, honey," the model said. "And you'll need them, too, to -keep this thing up."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The two of them adjourned to the dressing rooms and Toffee returned a -moment later, the very picture of the most recent thing in scandalous -<i>chic</i>. She joined Marc and Mr. Baker and took her place between them.</p> - -<p>"How do you like it?" she asked Marc.</p> - -<p>"You'd be more modest in a plastic shower curtain," Marc said. He -boosted himself forward. "Come on."</p> - -<p>"I want to meet the congressman," Toffee said. And even as she spoke a -portly gentleman with a ruddy face and almost theatrically white hair -appeared in the entry and started forward. "And I think I'm about to."</p> - -<p>At the manager's limp wave, Congressman Orvil Bloodsop, the -accomplished absconder of public funds, presented himself before the -company. His eyes, true to forecast, registered a lively appreciation -at the sight of Toffee. He nodded perfunctorily to Marc.</p> - -<p>"These are some people I met in sporting goods," the manager said. "I -haven't the least idea what their names are—or if they have any at -all. They can tell you, if they think it's wise."</p> - -<p>"What's in a name?" the congressman said with hackneyed gallantry. -He got himself a chair and wedged it deftly between Toffee's and the -manager's. "It's the ... uh ... heart that counts, eh?" He settled -himself with a snort. "I don't believe I've ever seen you around -before, dear. Where are you from?"</p> - -<p>Toffee lowered her lashes with artful mystery. "A long way away," she -said huskily.</p> - -<p>"Stop that," Marc said. "Stop sounding like a movie vamp with a bad -cold and come on."</p> - -<p>"I have things to discuss with the congressman, haven't I, Congressman -Bloodsop?"</p> - -<p>"Why, of course, dear," the congressman said, leering at the things he -hoped she referred to.</p> - -<p>"What things?" Marc asked crudely.</p> - -<p>"You'll see," Toffee said. "Enjoy the passing scenery." She turned back -to Congressman Bloodsop. "I hear you've got some wonderful connections."</p> - -<p>"Some of the best, dear."</p> - -<p>"In Washington?"</p> - -<p>"Straight up to the President," Orvil Bloodsop boasted. "All the way -up."</p> - -<p>"The President?" Toffee said. "Who's that?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The congressman looked at her twice to make sure she wasn't joking. -"Why the President is Lemons Flemm," he said. "You know that. But -perhaps you remember Lemons when he was a television comedian. That's -how Lemons got elected, you know.</p> - -<p>"During campaign time Lemons' sponsor refused to give up his air time -for the candidates speeches. As a result everyone was trying to watch -Lemons and the candidates at the same time, and they got confused. -When they counted the votes, Lemons was elected.</p> - -<p>"And he's made the most entertaining president we've ever had. Taxes -up one day and down the next. Anything for a laugh. Anything and -everything goes."</p> - -<p>"I see," Toffee said. "This comedian, then, is at the head of the -government?"</p> - -<p>"Right on the top of the heap. However, if any of us ever live to -see another election I doubt that Lemons will be reelected. It seems -that during the campaign there were a lot of people who thought the -candidates were a lot funnier than Lemons."</p> - -<p>"But this Lemons Flemm is running things?"</p> - -<p>"A mile a minute," Orvil Bloodsop nodded.</p> - -<p>"Then if someone were in possession of a really decisive secret weapon -he'd be the man to contact, wouldn't he?"</p> - -<p>"I doubt if he'd be interested," the congressman said. "Secret weapons -have been done to death lately. Everyone's sick of them."</p> - -<p>"Suppose this were something that gets in there where it does the most -good and really makes itself felt?" Toffee asked anxiously.</p> - -<p>"Something to make 'em rare back and take notice, huh?"</p> - -<p>"Exactly."</p> - -<p>"I see," the congressman said. "Then you're a foreign spy, aren't you, -selling out the old country? You've already said you were from far -away. Tell me, how do you like our little country?"</p> - -<p>"Love it," Toffee said. "That's why I want so badly to meet your -President." She crossed her legs carefully, and no part of the movement -was overlooked by the congressman.</p> - -<p>"I see," he said. "You want to get up in the world where the bidding is -high?"</p> - -<p>"That's the idea," Toffee said. "Sort of wriggle my way into the -affairs of state, so to speak."</p> - -<p>"Brings to mind an exciting picture," the congressman commented. "Of -course the best way to crash Washington society is to be investigated -by the Congress. You may not believe it, dear, but we've made some -of the very best international figures. But it's difficult to be -investigated, especially for a spy like yourself, with credentials and -all. That's too easy, and we have to concentrate on the more difficult -cases—our personal enemies, for instance. However, a girl with -your—uh—attributes might prove of sufficient diversion to warrant -special attention."</p> - -<p>"This Congress," Toffee said. "What is it?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, just a body of men."</p> - -<p>"Really!" Toffee's interest shot ahead like an arrow discharged from a -sixty pound bow. "I would be investigated by this body of men?"</p> - -<p>"Minutely, honey," the congressman assured her. "And from every angle."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Toffee was almost beside herself with anticipation; she almost forgot -the purpose at hand. "I'll kill 'em," she said. She composed herself. -"Could you arrange to have me hauled up for investigation?"</p> - -<p>"Well ... I wouldn't do it for just anyone, you know."</p> - -<p>"But you would for me, wouldn't you? Don't forget; I do have a secret -weapon."</p> - -<p>"I'm not forgetting," the congressman murmured. "No, indeed. However, -I'll have to convince the Congress that you're a substantial menace." -He was thoughtful for a moment. "I think I'll call the Congressman from -Idaho and say that you've been insulting his wife. I think something -can be worked out." He rose.</p> - -<p>"Just a minute," Toffee said. "There's just one more thing; include my -friend, Mr. Pillsworth. Say he's been insulting Texas."</p> - -<p>"Well...." the congressman hesitated.</p> - -<p>"Please," Toffee cooed. "He might get his feelings hurt if we left him -out."</p> - -<p>"Well, okay," the congressman agreed, and left.</p> - -<p>Seeing that there was an opening, Marc edged closer. "Is the -congressman leaving?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"He'll be right back," Toffee said pleasantly. "He's gone off to -arrange something for me."</p> - -<p>"What?" Marc said evenly. "Just what has he gone off to arrange?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, just a little investigation."</p> - -<p>"What kind of an investigation?"</p> - -<p>"He mentioned something called Congress," Toffee said. "I think it's -some kind of a club he belongs to."</p> - -<p>"A Congressional investigation?"</p> - -<p>"Uh-huh," Toffee nodded. "I believe those were his very words."</p> - -<p>"Who's going to be investigated?"</p> - -<p>Toffee smiled the sublimely innocent smile of one of heaven's nicer -angels. "Me," she announced, "and you."</p> - -<p>"<i>What!</i>" Marc jumped to his feet as though he'd been wrenched by a -pulley. "Why you...! What did you tell that old idiot?"</p> - -<p>"Nothing really," Toffee said. "I just told him I had a secret weapon, -and he assumed the rest. He's including you as a personal favor."</p> - -<p>"Dear God in heaven!" Marc yelped. "Let's get out of here before he -comes back!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no!" Toffee cried. "I have to wait and see if he could arrange it."</p> - -<p>"Come on!" Marc said, taking her by the arm and dragging her out of her -chair. "Where'd he go? We'll go the other way."</p> - -<p>"I must say I don't understand your attitude," Toffee said woundedly, -following him into the entry. "After I worked like a demon to charm -the daffy old vulture...."</p> - -<p>"<i>Just</i> like a demon!" Marc said hotly. "<i>Exactly</i> like a demon! You -take the words from my mouth."</p> - -<p>"And I should dip them in cyanide and put them right back!" Toffee -said. "I suppose it hasn't penetrated your blunted intelligence that -I'm only trying to do something to help save this preposterous world of -yours."</p> - -<p>"I see," Marc said. "You propose to save the world by ruining me. -That makes such brilliant sense it fairly blinds me." By now they -had reached the outer hallway and were covering space rapidly in the -direction of the elevators.</p> - -<p>"I'm not going to stand for it!" Marc said testily. "And that's my -message to you." He stopped before the elevators and placed his finger -firmly to the button. "If you think I'm going to allow my life to be -governed by the noxious fermentations of that fluttering mind of -yours ... you're wrong!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Toffee parted her lips for an angry reply, but just then the door -across the hall opened, and Congressman Bloodsop appeared on the scene. -His ruddy face was wreathed with smiles.</p> - -<p>"Ah, there you are!" he boomed expansively. "Well, the news is good -tonight. You're to be investigated tomorrow. I'm to take you into -custody right now, and there'll be a couple of government boys to -guard you. You're to stay at my home under guard tonight, and we'll -fly up to Washington in the morning for the festivities." He swayed -back on his heels in a seizure of self-appreciation. "Fast action, eh?"</p> - -<p>"Mr. Bloodsop...!" Marc sputtered. "Mr. Bloodsop...!"</p> - -<p>But the congressman held up a hand. "No need to thank me, boy," he -said. "It's nothing to pull a few strings for friends."</p> - -<p>"Mr. Blood...!"</p> - -<p>Just then the elevator doors slid back to disclose Dolly, the -impassioned wild-gamester, struggling with the stringy vagaries of an -enormous tuna net. She staggered forward and paused to disentangle a -cork float from the door latch. Then, hunched forward under her burden, -she started determinedly toward the salon.</p> - -<p>"On the scent again already?" Toffee inquired amiably.</p> - -<p>Dolly stopped and peered back over her muscular shoulder. "Uh-huh," she -panted. "Only this time I've got a switcheroo for the sonofagun. This -time I not only toss him into the trap but fling myself in after him." -She winked. "Get it?"</p> - -<p>"In detail," Toffee said. She turned to Marc. "Isn't it nice to meet -a girl who knows her own mind—even when it's cracked seven ways to -Sunday?"</p> - -<p>"You should know," Marc glowered. "You should damned well know, you -little heller."</p> - -<p>Congressman Bloodsop's study was a mammoth vault paneled solidly with -the finest oak that purloined money could buy. It was vast-ceilinged -and set solidly at one end with leaded windows of a thousand panes. -Beyond the windows, like a magazine illustration, one could see formal -gardens softened with twilight. To Toffee's mind it fairly stank with -class.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>From the depths of her leather-covered chair, she lowered her coffee -cup to the table and observed the spectacle of Congressman Bloodsop -sitting like a high magistrate behind a kennel-sized mahogany desk.</p> - -<p>"Do the guards <i>have</i> to stay outside in the hallway?" she asked. -"Won't they be lonesome?"</p> - -<p>"A matter of form, dear," the congressman said. "Looks good. Besides, -I've told the maid to give them tea."</p> - -<p>Marc standing beside the fireplace stirred with agitation. "Mr. -Bloodsop...!"</p> - -<p>The congressman raised his eyes with slow patience. "Young man," he -said evenly. "Is there something the matter with you? What is this -curious compulsion of yours to rasp my name every few minutes? If you -have something to say, say it."</p> - -<p>"Yes, Marc," Toffee said sweetly. "Don't let the congressman think -you're dull."</p> - -<p>Marc choked, presumably with emotion. "I only wanted to inquire just -why I can't use the telephone to try to find my wife?" he said in a -strained voice.</p> - -<p>"Another matter of form," the congressman said. "Good heavens, man, do -you really care so much to find your wife? It's the most extraordinary -thing I've ever heard of. I must remind you that you and the young lady -now constitute a matter for official inquiry."</p> - -<p>Marc clenched his fists tight at his sides. "Oh, Christ!" he wailed.</p> - -<p>"At least he's shouting for someone else for a change," the congressman -said complacently. "An erratic type. Subversives usually are, though. -Next he'll be calling for Phillip Morris."</p> - -<p>"Poor Marc," Toffee put in appealingly. "He just can't bring himself to -view the end of civilization with the same happy composure the rest of -us do. It upsets him."</p> - -<p>"No use fighting the inevitable," the congressman said. "When the whole -country has gone gypsy, you might just as well snatch up your skirts, -so to speak, and join in the innocent merriment."</p> - -<p>"Seems a trifle fatalistic," Toffee said. "Sometimes I rather agree -with Marc that you owe it to yourself to resist to the end ... even if -it's only an attitude. It seems more ... human ... somehow."</p> - -<p>"Thank you for that much," Marc said with heavy irony. "At least my -attitude pleases you."</p> - -<p>"Welcome, I'm sure," Toffee murmured, then turned back to the -congressman. "Tell me, congressman, just who is it that's going to do -all this bomb dropping anyway? I haven't heard any name mentioned yet."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The congressman gazed at her. "You mean you're not really one of them, -after all? You're with another interest?"</p> - -<p>"A private concern, you might say," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>"Well, it's a good thing we're investigating you then," the congressman -said. "One does like to know who's killing one, you know. It gives you -a clue whom to curse with your dying breath."</p> - -<p>"But getting back to these others," Toffee said, "who is it? What -country, I mean?"</p> - -<p>"Why, You Know Where, of course," the congressman said.</p> - -<p>"I beg your pardon?"</p> - -<p>"You Know Where, who else?"</p> - -<p>"Did someone put something in my coffee," Toffee asked, "or are you -just being terribly coy about this thing?"</p> - -<p>"I'm not being coy at all, damm-it," the congressman said. "You Know -Where is the country."</p> - -<p>"Good grief," Toffee said, "now he's lapsing into baby talk. Very well, -congressman, if you can't bring yourself to tell me the name of the -country in a straightforward manner, perhaps you'll just mention the -man who's at the head of it. Just as a hint."</p> - -<p>"You Know Who," the congressman said flatly.</p> - -<p>For a long moment there was silence as Toffee gazed toward the gardens -with apparent serenity.</p> - -<p>"All right, congressman," she said presently. "Just forget the whole -thing. Forget I even mentioned it."</p> - -<p>"Come here," the congressman said, drawing a globe atlas forward across -his desk. "I'll show you."</p> - -<p>Toffee got up and crossed to the desk. She followed the congressman's -finger as it swept across the United States, brushed aside the Hawaiian -Islands, and came to rest on a large country on the soiled outskirts of -Europe. Quite plainly the country was marked: YOU KNOW WHERE.</p> - -<p>"For heaven's sake!" Toffee exclaimed. "Why, that's...!"</p> - -<p>"Don't!" the congressman broke in frightenedly. "Don't say that name! -It's illegal. It was the government's idea that we should ignore the -country, refuse to recognize it. It was hoped that if we just didn't -speak to it any more and acted as though we didn't know it was there, -it would go away and leave us alone. The use of the name was outlawed -five years ago. Unfortunately, it's still there so we have to call it -something."</p> - -<p>"Very shrewd," Toffee said. "Reminds one of the tactics of sulky -children. And this You Know Who, I suppose, is the head of the -government there?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The congressman reached across the desk and drew a newspaper toward -them. On the front page was the picture of an elderly man in a short -choke-collar effect. He had penetrating eyes and a drooping mustache.</p> - -<p>"Oh," Toffee said, "you mean...!"</p> - -<p>"You Know Who," the congressman supplied quickly.</p> - -<p>"Of course," Toffee agreed. "Then as I see it the country is faced with -the question of whether You Know Who from You Know Where is going to -drop you know what on the USA?"</p> - -<p>"Not whether," the congressman amended, "but when. Otherwise, you have -stated the situation in a nutshell."</p> - -<p>"And I can't think of a better place for it either," Toffee murmured. -"Outside of a pecan pie it's the nuttiest situation I've ever heard of."</p> - -<p>"Well," the congressman said, "there's nothing to be done about it now. -Unless, of course, your secret weapon has some bearing on the crisis. -But I doubt it. We've piled secret weapon on secret weapon and the -situation has simply worsened with each one. It's very disheartening."</p> - -<p>"I see," Toffee reflected. "It makes a murky state of affairs. However, -if you could get people away from the idea of blowing each other up and -reduce them to the oldfashioned, intimate methods of warfare...."</p> - -<p>"Oh, Lord!" Marc moaned aggrievedly.</p> - -<p>"Well," the congressman sighed, "he's still in the religious cycle at -least."</p> - -<p>At that moment the door opened at the far end of the room, and a -heavy-lidded French maid appeared in the opening and leaned exhaustedly -against the sill.</p> - -<p>"Someone smeared a French pastry on the woodwork," Toffee commented -dryly.</p> - -<p>"I have served the gentlemen in the hall tea for three hours," the maid -sighed, shoving her hair out of her eyes. "They are the devil himself. -They play funloving games, like children." She paused and sighed again. -"Dinner is served, I presume."</p> - -<p>The congressman boosted himself out of his chair. "I will speak to -those funloving gorillas in person," he said. He turned to Toffee. "Are -you hungry, my dear?"</p> - -<p>"Famished," Toffee said, and looked at Marc. "And you?"</p> - -<p>"Yeah," Marc said dolefully. "My wife is gone, my business is ruined, -my world is about to go up in smoke—but what the heck!"</p> - -<p>He turned a sardonic eye on the congressman. "Lead on," he said. -"Play, gypsy, play!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Toffee sat down gingerly on the corner of the bed and surveyed the -congressman's best guest room with voluptuous appreciation. It was a -production in lace and rococo gilt in which the curly-cued, beflounced -bed was lost like a fireworks display in a gaudy sunset. Toffee only -regretted that such splendor, for her part, was only to be wasted.</p> - -<p>It was not that she would not have willingly stayed the night there, -had she the choice—but she had not. Being a thought projection of -Marc's conscious mind, she would not exist in the material world when -Marc slept. She had to return to the land of his imagination until -he awoke again; then she would rematerialize wherever she chose. She -looked at the bed, imagined the roseate picture of herself amongst the -linens and laces, and sighed a sigh of regret.</p> - -<p>She removed herself from the bed, went to the door and listened. There -were sounds; the guard was still there. The other guard would be posted -at Marc's door.</p> - -<p>Toffee glanced at the ornamental clock on the bedstand. It was well -after midnight, and she was still in the land of reality. That meant -that Marc was still awake—and still worrying about Julie—and the -bombs.</p> - -<p>She crossed to the bed, sat down as before, and ran her hand absently -over the lace coverlette. Something had to be done to help Marc before -he became a nerve case. It was true that she had gained the attention -of the law makers, but now it seemed that the law makers were as -irresponsible a group as one could wish for. And there might not be -much time left. Something had to be done ... something big ... and in -a hurry. If either side could be made to see the sheer idiocy of the -situation. If, for instance, You Know Where....</p> - -<p>Suddenly Toffee stood up.</p> - -<p>"My gosh!" she cried. "If I could only...!"</p> - -<p>She stopped suddenly and a gasp came to her lips. Even as she did so -her very being seemed to fade a bit.</p> - -<p>"Oh, no!" she cried. Then slowly she became more completely -materialized again; Marc had yawned. She ran to the door and threw it -open. Instantly the guard, a youngish ape in a dark suit, appeared -before her.</p> - -<p>"Yes, miss?"</p> - -<p>"I've got to see Mr. Pillsworth!" Toffee cried. "He's going to sleep -and he mustn't! Not yet." She started forward, but the guard stood firm.</p> - -<p>"Sorry, miss," he said. "You're not permitted to see Mr. Pillsworth -tonight."</p> - -<p>"But I must!" Toffee cried. "He has to stay awake until...!"</p> - -<p>"I'm sorry, miss," the guard said, then looked at Toffee more closely. -"Aren't you feeling well, Miss? You look a trifle pale around the -gills."</p> - -<p>"And what's worse," Toffee said, "I <i>feel</i> pale too."</p> - -<p>"Well," the guard said helpfully, "I saw an advertisement once about -a lady who recommended a vegetable compound very highly. Of course I -couldn't be positive but I believe the lady's name was Sylvia Pinkham, -or something of the sort. She was a very kind looking old lady...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Look," Toffee put in distractedly, "could I go to the study if you -came with me? It's terribly important."</p> - -<p>"Well," the guard reckoned, "all right. But don't you think you ought -to lie down. This lady ... Sylvia ... seemed to think that other ladies -should lie down...."</p> - -<p>"Blast Sylvia Pinkham," Toffee said. "And blast her compound, too. Come -on. Hurry!"</p> - -<p>Together they hastened down the stairs. On the first floor the guard -led the way to the study and switched on the lights. He watched Toffee -with concern as she swept past him into the room.</p> - -<p>"My, miss," he said. "You're looking paler every minute. You'll soon be -nothing more than a ghost the way you're going."</p> - -<p>Heedless, Toffee ran to the desk. There she reached for the globe and -turned it with a hurried hand. The guard joined her curiously.</p> - -<p>"Let's see," Toffee mused. "We're here. You Know Where is there. If you -concentrated in a straight line in that direction...."</p> - -<p>"Miss," the guard said softly. "I'm sure Miss Sylvia Pinkham wouldn't -like it at all...."</p> - -<p>"And I wouldn't like Miss Sylvia Pinkham at all," Toffee said shortly. -She turned back to the globe. "This must be the capital of You Know -Where, this heavy black dot over here. It is, isn't it?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, Miss. But if you're thinking of going there, they won't let you -in, you know. There's the Brass Curtain."</p> - -<p>"I thought it was iron," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>"It used to be. But after a few dealings with those people everyone -decided it must be brass."</p> - -<p>Without comment Toffee snatched up the newspaper and studied the -picture of You Know Who as though she were committing the unlovely -features to memory. Finally she set it aside and turned to the guard.</p> - -<p>"There now," she said. "I think I've got everything fairly straight in -mind. There's just one thing. Mr. Pillsworth is going to sleep now. -Don't let him sleep too long—just a little while, then wake him up."</p> - -<p>"Are you certain he'll want to...?" the guard began.</p> - -<p>"Don't forget," Toffee said positively. "It's a matter of life and -death."</p> - -<p>"Well, okay," the guard agreed. "I'll tell him you said...!"</p> - -<p>Then, with a gasp, the poor man's voice descended down his throat with -the gritty rattle of a parcel of bones dumped into a disposal. As he -watched, shaken to the very roots of his soul, the girl by the desk -gradually faded into thin air....</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Dusk had come to a distant land.</p> - -<p>Toffee stood in the formidable square and looked with disfavor on the -great concrete pilings that brooded over the clear area in the center -and isolated it from the waning light of day. Functional architecture, -with frippery—cold, grey and starkly oppressive. Very functional, like -a straight jacket, and just as pleasant to look at.</p> - -<p>There were hardly any signs of human life. A couple of men, so grey and -so gross that they seemed only a part of the buildings around them, -lumbered down the steps of the largest and most formidable of the -structures, stopped to look at Toffee curiously, then passed on. Toffee -shrugged and turned toward the building from which they had just come. -The best way to obtain information, after all, was to ask someone for -it. And if those men had just come from the building, life must exist -inside the place in spite of appearances.</p> - -<p>She had no more than set foot on the steps of the place, however, than -life suddenly descended upon her in a rush; two grey-uniformed guards, -seemingly patterned very closely on the physical and spiritual makeup -of the gorilla, clumped down the steps toward her with bayonets fixed. -One of them barked something that, to Toffee, had no specific meaning. -The bayonets, pointing in the vicinity of her mid-section, spoke with -great eloquence. Toffee felt keenly that the moment called for a -disarming smile.</p> - -<p>"Don't be silly, boys," she said with arch modulation. "There's no -occasion for manly demonstrations."</p> - -<p>There was a sputtered, incoherent exchange between the two, -interspersed with moments of silence which allowed them time to stare -in open-mouthed wonderment at the lightly-swathed redhead before them. -Toffee listened to this for what seemed the proper social interval, -then started determinedly forward. The bayonets, however, thrust a -little closer, took all the verve and sweep out of the gesture.</p> - -<p>"Now, kids," Toffee said, "I don't want to have to get rough with -you." And so saying she reached out, delicately parted the bayonets, -and passed between them. Their owners, obviously unused to this -open flaunting of the sword, turned to stare after her in petrified -astonishment. After a stunned silence, there ensued a growl-and-spit -interchange of thought on the matter.</p> - -<p>Though Toffee had no way of knowing it, one aborigine inquired of the -other if they were eye to eye in the opinion that they were seeing -things. The other replied in the affirmative, adding that if it were -not illegal to entertain such notions, he might venture that they had -just been bypassed by an angel from heaven. Of course, since everyone -knew that heaven and angels did not exist, the notion was silly.</p> - -<p>"Nothing descends from heaven but bombs," his companion observed with -native starkness. "The Great Leader has said it is so."</p> - -<p>"Then it is so, and we are only the victims of a delusion."</p> - -<p>Shrugging their massive shoulders they returned to their posts and -hoped for the best.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Inside the building Toffee found herself confronted by a wide foyer -from which innumerable corridors stretched away in all directions. -Guards of a similar stamp to those who had accosted her on the steps -literally infested the place, two to the corridor. They seemed so -much a part of the sombre decor, however, that Toffee did not notice -them at once. She had proceeded nearly to the center of the room -before, overtaken by a certain feeling of uneasiness, she stopped and -reconnoitered.</p> - -<p>As she glanced around, the walls began to bristle with bayonets. She -appraised this nasty state of affairs with concern and decided to adopt -the policy of the congressman and his colleagues. A song on her lips, -if not in her heart, she fixed her eyes straight ahead on the center -corridor and resumed nonchalantly in that direction—perhaps if she -pretended that these bayoneted orangoutangs were beneath her notice -they might go away and leave her alone. They didn't appear to be the -friendly, informative type anyway.</p> - -<p>For one brief moment it seemed that the ruse, by dint of sheer -boldness, was going to work. Toffee was almost to the corridor when one -of the benumbed guards suddenly began to vocalize in an overwrought -fashion. In a voice that slammed against the vaulted ceiling like -a trumpet blast he shouted something that sounded loosely like, -"Gamnovitch!" His tone did not convey the feeling of warm welcome. -Toffee, sizing the situation up as the sort that only comes to a head -with delay, bolted.</p> - -<p>She darted into the corridor and kept going at a pace that utilized her -lovely legs to the utmost. A noisy clatter from the rear, however, told -her that she was not in the sprint just for exercise. She renewed her -efforts. Then suddenly stopped.</p> - -<p>It wasn't so much that the corridor terminated in a huge doorway only -a few yards ahead—though that was bad news enough—the real thing was -that before the door there stood not two but four enormous guards, -supplied like the others with those ugly weapons. The guards and Toffee -caught sight of each other simultaneously, but the really filthy part -of it was that the surprise element in the incident shoved the guards -into action while it only held Toffee motionless.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Toffee needed no one to tell her she was about to be surrounded. -"I <i>would</i> have to get into this place," she sighed. "It must be -a barracks for guards." She watched with resignation as the bulky -bayoneters formed a prickly circle around her. She chose the most -likely-looking of her captors and smiled enchantingly into his sub-ugly -face. But the favored one only reciprocated with a small jabbing -gesture which was enthusiastically picked up and elaborated upon by -his companions. Toffee was the first to realize that the situation was -climbing toward that state which is often described as 'serious.'</p> - -<p>"Look out, you lumbering oafs," she said hotly. "You could play hell -with a lady's dainties with that sort of thing."</p> - -<p>She considered her ring and the hoard of armed brutes around her; there -were too many of them to deal with effectively. The situation called -for help, and Toffee took her cue from the situation; though she didn't -know the language she was willing to kick it around a bit.</p> - -<p>"Helpovitch!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "Helpovitch!"</p> - -<p>The result that followed was as instantaneous as it was unexpected. No -sooner had Toffee's voice split the air of the hallway than the guards -froze where they were and stared at her in a transfix of horror. Toffee -hadn't the faintest notion of what she had said but she was awfully -glad to have said it.</p> - -<p>Experimentally she made a movement; the guards remained still. She -stepped out of the circle, and one of the guards made a small movement -of protest.</p> - -<p>"Helpovitch, you rat," Toffee said. "You heard me."</p> - -<p>The guard remained motionless.</p> - -<p>Toffee paused, selected the door at the end of the hall as her -destination, and went rapidly toward it. As she drew abreast of it, -it opened just a crack and an ear presented itself in the opening. -Apparently someone had been disturbed by the noise in the hall. Toffee -leaned forward and placed her mouth close to the ear.</p> - -<p>"Helpovitch," she whispered.</p> - -<p>There was a moment, then the ear shuddered delicately, after which -it turned red and withdrew quickly from sight. Here, Toffee realized, -was the sort of ear that responded to a firm hand. She shoved the -door open, stepped inside, and closed it behind her. Then she turned -about—and stopped short.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It wasn't so much the room which, large and marbled, was a gasping -matter all in itself—but the room's occupant; the ear had been -misleading for its owner was none other than You Know Who himself. -Between the Great Leader and Toffee there wasn't much to choose for -goggle-eyed surprise. Toffee, however, was the first to recover from -the encounter.</p> - -<p>"Well," she said, "just the old villain I'm looking for!"</p> - -<p>The Great Leader, his eyes retreating back into their sockets, set -his mustache atremble with a great sucking breath and launched into a -series of resonant sounds.</p> - -<p>"Knock it off," Toffee commanded. "You're making a fog in here. -Besides, I can't understand a word of that juicy jazz."</p> - -<p>"So!" the Leader exploded. "Who iss? How you got har, hah?"</p> - -<p>"Well," Toffee murmured relievedly, "at least you can speak -English—using the language loosely, that is."</p> - -<p>"How come you har, hey?" the Leader insisted truculently. "Why not -soldiers kill you forst?"</p> - -<p>"They had it in mind," Toffee said, "but I just said 'helpovitch' to -them, and they dropped the whole thing."</p> - -<p>"Vooman!" the Leader gasped. "You say soch dorty vord it is only -sooprise soldiers do not drop teeth along with thing!" He waved his -hand. "Go vay, dorty gorl! Screm!"</p> - -<p>"For Pete's sake!" Toffee said. "What does the word mean?"</p> - -<p>"Don't ask!" the Leader gasped, throwing up his hands. "You make me -drop whole thing, too! Go vay or I call soldiers and tall tham shoot -you all over—oop!—down!" He started toward the door. "Tarrible gorl!"</p> - -<p>"Hold it, Cecil," Toffee said. "You touch that door and I'll pull off a -shindig that'll make you sad all over."</p> - -<p>The Leader stopped and regarded her uncertainly. "You American vooman -spy, hah?" he demanded. "You think you smart. Vell, you be dad soon, -vhat you think, hay?"</p> - -<p>"I think you're going to be reasonable and do what I say, hey," Toffee -answered firmly. "Either that or you're going to get the surprise of -your life."</p> - -<p>"Who iss you anyway?"</p> - -<p>"An avenging angel," Toffee said. "That'll do for now."</p> - -<p>"Nonsanse!" the Leader snorted. "No soch thing angel. Anyvay, angel -vould not say dorty vords, make soldiers drop things."</p> - -<p>"Okay," Toffee said, "so I'm no angel. You're right there, pop. But I'm -avenging, and don't you forget it."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A new thought crossed the seething mind of the Leader. "You know who -you talk to so mean?"</p> - -<p>"Sure, Mac," Toffee said. "I know you."</p> - -<p>"Than I tall you drop dad, you gotta do it, hah?"</p> - -<p>"Huh-uh," Toffee said, shaking her head. "And let's have no more sass -about killing people. Now let's get down to brass doorpulls...."</p> - -<p>But just at that moment the soldiers outside not only got down to -doorpulls, but pulled them: the room began to swarm.</p> - -<p>"If I'd knew you were coming," Toffee said, "I'd have baked a snake." -Nevertheless, she retreated warily. The guards paused uncertainly -before her and started babbling among themselves.</p> - -<p>"Now!" the Leader said triumphantly.</p> - -<p>But Toffee pointed imperiously to the gabby guards. "What are those -birds saying about me?" she demanded. "I've got a right to know."</p> - -<p>The Leader paused to listen, then nodded with comprehension.</p> - -<p>"Forst man say he think you foreign spy because you look nothing like -voomans from this country. Other man say he's right because if you var -from here you vould haf thick lags like his wife who iss von big slob. -Forst man say he can say that again for his vife who iss so big slob -you gotta say it twice to describe her." The Leader paused to consider -this exchange and suddenly smote his brow. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "Now -iss clear! You deganerate product of America sant har to make men -unrastful with slobbish female population. So!"</p> - -<p>"It's a side-line I hadn't thought of," Toffee said and smiled -engagingly at the guards. "But if you think it'll work...."</p> - -<p>"Iss no good you viggle around and look saxy," the Leader put in -sullenly. "You gonna get shot good, you deganerate boopsy daisy." He -turned to the guards and shouted an order which had but one meaning in -any language. The men instantly formed a single rank with mechanical -precision and raised their rifles toward Toffee, albeit with a certain -gleam of reluctance in their eyes.</p> - -<p>"Now you gonna gat it," the Leader said.</p> - -<p>But Toffee only smiled. "I've told you," she said, "I'm an avenging -angel. And we angels are practically indestructible."</p> - -<p>"Ve see," the Leader snorted. "So!" He turned to the guards and barked -an order that touched off a confusion of explosion and gun smoke. -In the moment that ensued, as the smoke settled, there was a tense -silence. This was followed by a many-throated cry of alarm.</p> - -<p>Toffee, still smiling, and completely unscathed, stepped lightly -through the screen of smoke and presented herself to the company at -large.</p> - -<p>"What would you like for an encore?" she asked.</p> - -<p>She did not bother, of course, to explain that she could not possibly -be destroyed as long as Marc's mind held the image of her as a live -being. She would always be just as Marc imagined her and he quite -evidently was not thinking of her as dead at the moment.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>As she moved forward, the guards took a faltering step backwards. Then, -as a man, they turned and fled the room, slamming the door after them.</p> - -<p>Toffee shrugged lightly, turned and gazed about. The Leader was no -longer in evidence. She paused to consider briefly, then crossed to the -large desk in the center of the room, and bent down to peer underneath.</p> - -<p>"You may as well come out," she said. "I see you."</p> - -<p>The Leader's head appeared apprehensively in the opening. "Go vay," he -said. "Vhy you not dad? You crazy?"</p> - -<p>"Crawl out of there, Sam," Toffee commanded. "Loosen that tight collar -of yours and get set for a lesson in future history. You can frolic -about on the floor later."</p> - -<p>Slowly the great man emerged and stood before her. Toffee's refusal to -die or even get decently dented had shaken him to the very foundations. -Furtively he eyed the bullet-scarred wall.</p> - -<p>"Shame," Toffee said. "You've been naughty, Jasper. Sit down."</p> - -<p>He did as he was told, looking as though he might burst into tears at -any moment. "Vhy you not dad lak hangnail?" he insisted. "You got an -iron gordle?"</p> - -<p>"I simply can't be killed," Toffee said. "I just can't seem to bring -myself around to a serious frame of mind about guns and knives and that -sort of trash. Which leads me to the problem at hand. I've got a plan -for you, kiddo, and though it won't take five years, we've got to shake -a leg." She glanced at the row of buttons and the speaker on the desk. -"You know what you're going to do?"</p> - -<p>"No," the Leader said warily. "Vhat?"</p> - -<p>"You're going to start pressing those buttons, one at a time, from -right to left. You're going to talk to all the big shots wired to those -buttons and you're going to order the country demobilized, tonight."</p> - -<p>"Hah?" the Leader said. "And since vhen?"</p> - -<p>"Right now," Toffee said. "You are going to have every bomb and every -facility for making bombs blown to dust in the cool of the night. Every -piece of live ammunition in the country is going to be laid to rest. -By your order. So get busy and start having the danger areas cleared."</p> - -<p>The Leader only stared at her in blinking disbelief.</p> - -<p>"Voop!" he burped with deep emotion.</p> - -<p>"And what is the meaning of that remark?" Toffee asked.</p> - -<p>"Means you iss goofy. Means you got bats in the bonnet."</p> - -<p>"And you're going to have ants in the pants if you don't start -pressing your moist little finger to those buttons." Toffee eyed him -humorlessly. "Are you going to start pressing or aren't you? You've had -the word."</p> - -<p>"I'm waste no more time talking foolish with dorty, saxy dame like -you," the Leader said petulantly. He got up and started determinedly -toward the door. "I call new guards and have them carry you avay."</p> - -<p>"I warned you," Toffee said, raising her hand tentatively. "You'll -regret it."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>But the Leader, unintimidated, continued toward the door. He had just -reached out to open it when Toffee brought her hand down quickly over -the face of the ring. Events proceeded according to expectations.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> - <div class="caption"> - <p>As Toffee aimed the magic ring, You Know Who suddenly sprawled across the desk with a howl of pained surprise!</p> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>"Halpovitch!" the Leader screamed, and plumped down heavily on the -floor. "Oi!" Following the pattern of his forerunners he slapped his -hands to his bottom and hugged himself into a knot of pulsating agony. -A stream of highly charged verbiage sullied the air.</p> - -<p>"You kick me in restricted, top secret area!" he wailed.</p> - -<p>"Not exactly," Toffee said. "Though it's a shame. So many people have -longed to." She moved closer to her distressed victim. "Going to start -punching buttons? If you do I'll take the heat off."</p> - -<p>"No!" the Leader gritted pettishly. "I ponch you in nose!"</p> - -<p>"I see," Toffee said. "Suppose I call those guards back in here and let -them see you like this? In no time at all the news will get around that -the Great Leader has gone off his rocker and is snapping at his own -bottom like a beagle after ham hock. A fine laughing stock you'll make, -won't you?"</p> - -<p>"No!" the Leader pleaded. "No! Oh, soch a pain!"</p> - -<p>"Then suppose we have a little friendly cooperation around here?"</p> - -<p>"Hokay!" the Leader cried. "I can't stand it no longer!"</p> - -<p>Toffee made a pass at the ring and the Leader, after a moment of -adjustment, arose.</p> - -<p>"How you do soch rotten thing?" he asked.</p> - -<p>"You haven't got all the secret weapons," Toffee said. "That's one your -agents missed. Now hop to it and start thumbing those discs."</p> - -<p>Shaking his head which was heavy with disillusion, the Leader made -his way shakily to the desk. He looked at Toffee, then reached for the -first of the buttons.</p> - -<p>"Don't double cross me," Toffee said, raising her hand. "If you do -you'll writhe in agony for the rest of your days."</p> - -<p>"Hokay," the Leader said and pressed the button. A moment later a voice -answered distantly.</p> - -<p>"Halpovitch!" the Leader yelled at the top of his lungs. Instantly -Toffee made the necessary gesture, and for the second time the great -man assumed the position, placing his equipment as he went. He was -moaning low in every sense of the word.</p> - -<p>"I warned you," Toffee said. "Trickery will get you nothing but a pain -in the terminus."</p> - -<p>"All right!" the Leader groaned. "Stop it! I poosh buttons! I poosh 'em -twice apiece! I do what you say like a liddle lamb."</p> - -<p>Toffee manipulated the ring, and again the Leader picked himself up -from the floor. "Let's stop this horseplay," she said, "and get going."</p> - -<p>"Horseplay!" the Leader exclaimed, advancing his finger to the buttons. -"Horses vhat play mean like you should be on the backs of postage -stamps."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It was nearly an hour later when the Leader released the last button -and sagged back in his chair, a broken man.</p> - -<p>"Iss all," he said. "You have louse up averything. They all say I am -insane, but they gonna do it anyhow 'cause I tell 'em, the dumbells. -Over-regimented, they are, like a lot of stupid machines."</p> - -<p>Toffee glanced out the window at the now-darkened square. "The -fireworks should be starting soon, if they're as efficient as you say." -She turned back to the Leader. "Is there any way to get to the top of -this pile of concrete where we'll have a better view?"</p> - -<p>"Opp stairs, sure," the Leader said dully. "Who vants to see?"</p> - -<p>"Come on," Toffee said. "This is going to be <i>worth</i> seeing, all that -advanced gun powder going up in smoke."</p> - -<p>"Hokay," the Leader agreed brokenly. "Who cares now?"</p> - -<p>Toffee watched him carefully as he opened a drawer in the desk and slid -his hand inside. It was a moment before he extracted a large bottle of -vodka.</p> - -<p>"For the medicinal purposes only," he explained ruefully. "And I am the -sick buckeroo of them all."</p> - -<p>Toffee smiled. "Let's get to the top, pop," she said amiably. "Let's -tie one on."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Though it occurred miles away, the explosion shook even the solid -foundations of the capitol building. Toffee and the leader watched with -awe as the whole world, it seemed, suddenly screamed with white fire. -The Leader was forced to cling to Toffee for support, and Toffee clung -to the bottle strictly as a precaution.</p> - -<p>"Beautiful," Toffee breathed as the building ceased to shudder. "It's -beautiful to see all that death and destruction destroying itself. -Makes you think of those scorpions who sting themselves in the neck -when they're mad."</p> - -<p>And if the explosions constituted an item of beauty for Toffee, the -night was filled to overflowing with the gaudy stuff. The explosions, -near and far, continued through the night. Toffee and the despairing -Leader sat on the edge of a functional parapet and toasted each new -blast with vodka and conflicting emotions.</p> - -<p>Below them people churned bewilderedly in the streets like a rising and -falling tide. A faint thread of dawn touched the horizon just as the -last explosion shuddered across the land.</p> - -<p>"Iss all," the Leader mourned soddenly. "All iss gone. You haf made me -a tired old man."</p> - -<p>"That's all you ever were," Toffee said almost kindly. "You were -foolish to try to be anything else." She patted him on the head with -groggy sympathy. "I've got a feeling I've got to be running along now. -But there's just one more thing before I go...."</p> - -<p>"Iss all. Iss all," the Leader moaned. "Iss no more."</p> - -<p>"No, not that. All I want to know is what does helpovitch mean?"</p> - -<p>The old man lolled his head to one side and looked at her lopsidedly -from the corner of his eye. "Iss native slang vord meaning 'democracy.' -Iss very dorty vord."</p> - -<p>And then, as his beautiful tormentor vanished into thin air, he toppled -from his perch on the wall and sprawled flat on his back.</p> - -<p>The enemy, a bottle cradled protectively in his arms, had fallen....</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc had fought the battle against sleep to the last ditch, and there -had tripped and fallen squarely into the waiting arms of Morpheus. -The sounds, the drone and buzz of Congress, swirled away into limbo -and mercifully died. Marc was no longer among those present at the -ridiculous investigation.</p> - -<p>The only way Marc had been able to go to sleep the previous night was -to take as many sleeping tablets as possible, and then a couple more. -When Congressman Bloodsop had managed finally to awaken him and to tell -him of Toffee's disappearance, it was a long while before he was able -to appraise the situation rightly; that Toffee had simply transferred -her activities to some other seat of operations, so to speak. Then, -once this had soaked into his benumbed brain, it occurred to him that -it constituted an ideal state of affairs. With the volatile redhead -out of the picture there was an even chance that he would be able to -extricate himself from the mess she had created for him and find his -way back to Julie.</p> - -<p>To accomplish this end he had only to stay awake so that Toffee could -not put in an untimely appearance—no mean accomplishment considering -the sleeping tablets fermenting in his system. Now he contributed to -the congressional activities with a resonant snore.</p> - -<p>"And do you persist, Mr. Pillsworth, in the absurd assertion that you -did not aid in the escape of the young woman known as Toffee? <i>Mr. -Pillsworth!</i>"</p> - -<p>Marc stirred and opened his eyes as his name penetrated his awareness.</p> - -<p>"Eh?" he yawned, then sat up abruptly as a current of horror flashed -up his spine. What chilled him more than the reproving tone and the -baleful eye was the realization that he had been asleep. He glanced -away from the fuming chairman and subjected the room to a wary search. -It was on the return sweep that his most awful expectations burst -abloom. Toffee, looking for all the world like an abandoned torch -singer on the corner of a piano, was sitting on the outer edge of the -podium, one hand poised rakishly on a well-curved hip. She surveyed -the assemblage with unmistakable disappointment. Throughout the room -several hot games of tick-tack-toe were summarily abandoned as grey, -greying, bald and balding heads snapped back in uncharacteristic -attitudes of attention. The members of Congress, acting sharply against -precedent, sat up and took note of the business at hand.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Since no one else spoke, Toffee took the initiative. "So this is a body -of men, is it?" she sneered. "I've seen better bodies on Model T's."</p> - -<p>The Chair eyed her with a definite lack of warmth.</p> - -<p>"My dear young woman," the Chair said, glaring coldly through his -glasses. "Just what do you think you're doing?"</p> - -<p>"I'm here to be investigated," Toffee said, jauntily crossing her legs. -"Get out the tape measure and heave to."</p> - -<p>Marc pressed his hands to his temples and sank lower in his seat.</p> - -<p>"What!" the Chair said. "You're the young woman known as Toffee?"</p> - -<p>"The same," Toffee said complacently. "The very same."</p> - -<p>"How did you get there on the stand all of a sudden?"</p> - -<p>"Ask me no questions," Toffee said, "and you'll reduce the lie -expectancy by at least fifty percent."</p> - -<p>Marc's forlorn moan was lost as the Chair cleared his throat. He -flicked a pencil in Marc's direction. "Take your place over there with -your confederate, please."</p> - -<p>"Sure," Toffee said. Abandoning her perch, she leaped lightly to the -floor and shoved off in Marc's direction, pausing on the way to pat -Congressman Bloodsop on the head. The congressman winked at her, -withdrew the pocket flask which had been affixed to his mouth and wiped -his lips genteelly on the back of his hand.</p> - -<p>"Government," Toffee observed, settling herself happily at Marc's side, -"is much the same the world over—full of medicinal purposes."</p> - -<p>"Why did you have to show up now?" Marc asked sourly. "They'd have -called the whole thing off in another few minutes."</p> - -<p>"That's what I like," Toffee said, patting his hand, "a rousing welcome -from the one you left behind."</p> - -<p>Marc withdrew his hand frigidly and resisted a yawn. "Now we're right -back in the same old soup."</p> - -<p>Toffee scanned the Congress with a sweeping glance. "Don't tell me -you're afraid of this collection of old nincompoops?" she scoffed.</p> - -<p>She pointed to a bemused, bald-pated individual across the way who was -engaged to the last nerve in the business of engraving a pierced heart -in the top of the table in front of him. Across from this exhibit sat a -lank citizen who was quietly strumming a guitar and chanting a ballad -which had to do with a lonesome cowboy whose horse was dead, house was -burned, well was dry, range was barren, and he himself was suffering -from pernicious anemia—which individual, nonetheless, wished to assure -his faithless sweetheart that she was not to worry for a minute that -his affairs were anything other than tickety-boo and that he would -'git' along somehow.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc observed these examples of high-minds-at-work with a wry face. -"That's just the trouble," he grieved, "they're completely irrational. -Heaven knows what they might take a fancy to do to us. Your entrance -didn't help any, you know."</p> - -<p>"Nonsense," Toffee said. "They're just a bunch of harmless children."</p> - -<p>"So harmless," Marc snorted, "they've danced the whole nation right -down the path to extinction."</p> - -<p>"Oh, that," Toffee said, smiling secretively. "I wouldn't worry about -that. I wouldn't waste the time."</p> - -<p>"Oh, you wouldn't, wouldn't you?" Marc said annoyedly. "Well, let me -remind you, Miss Cotton Brain, that you're subject to the laws of -extinction just as much as the rest of us. When I die you go with me, -you know, and after the way you've messed up my final hours I will -consider it a pleasure to perish just to get even with you. I will -laugh as the bombs come crashing down on my roof."</p> - -<p>"You're doing me a terrible injustice," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>At this point their conversation was abruptly concluded by a heavy -rapping from the Chair.</p> - -<p>"The Chair addresses the young woman known as Toffee."</p> - -<p>"If I'm known as Toffee," Toffee snapped, "then call me Toffee. Stop -making me sound like some loose-moraled hussy slinging her hips around -in a Klondike saloon."</p> - -<p>"Just remain seated," the Chair said severely, "and speak into the -microphone on the table. There are some questions for you to answer -before we proceed."</p> - -<p>Toffee eyed the Chair with raised eyebrows. "Okay," she said. "Shoot." -She turned to Marc. "Stop nudging me."</p> - -<p>"First of all," the Chair said. "Please make a statement of your -political affiliations."</p> - -<p>"Political affiliations?" Toffee said, completely bewildered. "If you -mean have I ever had anything to do with politicians, I haven't. I -might as well say that I think all politicians are a bunch of bums." -She turned again to Marc. "Are you ill, dear? Why are you making that -awful choking noise?"</p> - -<p>Marc repeated the awful choking noise, and the Chair rattled for -attention. The Chair also glowered through its glasses.</p> - -<p>"What the committee wants to know is which political philosophy do you -embrace?"</p> - -<p>"None of them," Toffee said. "I wouldn't touch any of them with a -pole, much less clasp them to my bosom as you suggest. Aren't you -getting a little lewd with all this talk about embracing?"</p> - -<p>"Let's put it another way," the Chair said with strained patience. "Of -which nation are you a citizen?"</p> - -<p>"Why, none of them, of course," Toffee said. "Not that they wouldn't -have me, you understand...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Precisely at this point a door behind the Chair burst open, and a -small, musty individual in shirt sleeves hurled himself into the room.</p> - -<p>"It's come!" he piped. "It's come!"</p> - -<p>"Has someone been praying for rain?" Toffee asked innocently.</p> - -<p>The Chair rattled frenziedly. "Just what is it that's important enough -to justify this outburst?"</p> - -<p>"The news!" the little man jibbered. "I was working down in the -Intelligence Department just now...."</p> - -<p>"I wondered where they keep all the intelligence around here," Toffee -said. "I didn't know they had a department for it."</p> - -<p>"Shut up, can't you?" Marc hissed. "You've made enough enemies already -to last us out a lifetime."</p> - -<p>"You Know Where!" the little man screeched. "You Know Where!"</p> - -<p>A murmur of apprehension moved through the room.</p> - -<p>"They've attacked?" the Chair asked quickly. "Has the attack begun? -Speak up, man!" Then without waiting for a reply, he turned to the -gathering at large. "I will now lead you all in prayer."</p> - -<p>"No!" the little man cried. "No, no!"</p> - -<p>"You don't want us to pray, you nasty little atheist?"</p> - -<p>"No!" the little man cried. "Yes! I don't care! But there isn't any -attack! There isn't going to be one! You Know Where was demobilized -last night. It's a positive miracle! Our agents report rumors about a -religious revival going on there. Everyone is talking about an angel -with red hair who appeared to the Leader and...."</p> - -<p>Marc turned sharply to Toffee with the look of a man who has just been -stung by a bee.</p> - -<p>"You...!"</p> - -<p>"Uh-huh," Toffee said. "We had quite a romp last night, the Leader and -I." She spoke through a pandemonium of cheering, crashing bottles and -mad guitar music.</p> - -<p>"Oh, bury me not on the lone prar-ee!" the lanky Congressman chortled -besottedly. "Where the coyotes howl 'cause there's no whisk-ee!"</p> - -<p>The Chair added to the din in behalf of a moment of silence and -received just a moment.</p> - -<p>"Let's knock off for the day," a voice yelled, "and get drunk!"</p> - -<p>"We did that yesterday," the Chair said. "We have to think of -appearances once in a while, you know. Besides, this new development -puts a whole new face on things. It calls for action."</p> - -<p>"What about me?" Toffee yelled. "I insist on being investigated."</p> - -<p>"Please be quiet, young woman," the Chair said. "You're no longer -needed here."</p> - -<p>"Thank heavens!" Marc sighed. "Come on, let's leave."</p> - -<p>"Certainly not," Toffee said. "I have other business to take care of."</p> - -<p>"Oh, no!" Marc cried, and slumped exhaustedly into his chair. "I'm too -tired for any more!"</p> - -<p>"We must realize," the Chair was saying, "that an opportunity has -been placed in our hands. The enemy is helpless. <i>Now is the time to -strike!</i>"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>There was a pause while this sank in, and then the cheering and -rough-housing began again with greater vigor.</p> - -<p>"Rickety-rax!" One vaporish congressman giggled, slipping limply from -his chair to the floor. "Rickety-rax! Give 'em the axe!"</p> - -<p>A colleague at his right launched a squadron of paper darts into the -air as the guitarist twanged away at an off-key rendition of the <i>Air -Corps Song</i>. This musical interlude, however, came to an unhappy end -as the gentleman across the table, finishing the pierced heart with a -flourish, picked up an inkwell and emptied it into the bowels of the -instrument. There was a splintering crash as the donner received his -contribution, guitar and all, across the crown of his head. Undaunted, -the man rose from his seat and launched into a lamentable imitation of -Jolson doing a mammy song.</p> - -<p>"We'll kill 'em!" the cry went up. "We'll give it to 'em in the teeth, -the dirty, yella, murderin' rats!"</p> - -<p>"Gentlemen!" the Chair pleaded. "Gentlemen! Your enthusiasm and -patriotic spirit is commendable. But let's be constructive about this -thing. <i>Let's declare war!</i>"</p> - -<p>Toffee and Marc, who had been watching this display with rising -emotion, got to their feet simultaneously.</p> - -<p>"Now just a minute!" Toffee yelled. "Just a minute, you tramps!"</p> - -<p>"Precisely," Marc said, steadying himself against the table. "Just a -minute."</p> - -<p>But their protest was unheard in the din of the merry-making.</p> - -<p>"I can see," Toffee said, lifting her hand, "that the time is due to -take measures."</p> - -<p>"For once," Marc said, "I'm with you one hundred percent." He moved to -her side in a limp gesture of staunch support, blinking drowsily.</p> - -<p>Toffee eyed the revelling law makers with a selective eye. Her gaze -fell to two rotund parties who, their arms clasped about each other's -shoulders, were dancing a polka in the aisle. As one of the bulbous -rears swiveled in her direction, she let go. It was a direct hit on the -target.</p> - -<p>With a searing cry the erstwhile dancer unclasped his partner and -doubled over, his chops aquiver with an emotion too great for -expression.</p> - -<p>His partner, at first taken aback, eyed this inexplicable development -with bleary gloom. Then he beamed with happy understanding.</p> - -<p>"Leap frog!" he yelled joyously. "Hey, fellas! Leap frog!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The rush for the aisle was instantaneous and enthusiastic. As the -playful congressmen lined up for the game, Toffee leaped to the top of -the table and assumed a firing stance. Taking careful aim as the first -gamester wheezed up the aisle and boosted himself aloft over the back -of his suffering brother, she executed a neat wing shot which dropped -her victim into place with a convulsion of shocked pain.</p> - -<p>"Fish in a barrel," Toffee said gleefully.</p> - -<p>"Good," Marc said, coming momentarily awake. "There! Get that gaffer on -the rise!"</p> - -<p>And another congressman doubled in mid-air and came to earth with a -rasp on his lips.</p> - -<p>"Stacking up nicely, eh?" Toffee said. "Makes a neat exhibit, all of -them in a row like that."</p> - -<p>The sport continued apace. It wasn't long before the aisle was lined -from end to end with tortured congressmen who moaned and wailed like -lost souls taking hell's post grad course. Texas, naturally, made the -loudest noise.</p> - -<p>"Here, now!" he blurted. "What's going on here? What do you fellows -think you're doing; you look like a lot of distressed cats who've found -cement in the sand box. It doesn't look at all nice. I'm surprised at -you, Maine, for being mixed up in this sort of thing. You, too, South -Dakota. Young woman, why are you standing on that table?"</p> - -<p>"When I go to the circus," Toffee said, "I like to see everything. I -wouldn't want to miss this for the world."</p> - -<p>"I thought I told you to go home. The Congress has finished with you."</p> - -<p>"But have I finished with the Congress?" Toffee said. "That's what I -ask myself."</p> - -<p>"Get out!" the Chair cried, definitely beginning to show cracks about -the outer surface. "Please go home. Please!"</p> - -<p>"I'm afraid I can't," Toffee said. She nodded significantly toward -the convulsed members. "I'd hate to go and leave so much unfinished -business behind. Or should I say so much behind, unfinished business?"</p> - -<p>"Do you mean to say that you are in some way responsible for that -repellent demonstration in the aisle?"</p> - -<p>"I take the credit proudly," Toffee said. "Remember, I said I had a -secret weapon? However, I must say that Mr. Pillsworth, here, has given -me all sorts of moral support."</p> - -<p>"Thank you," Marc said with composure. "Glad to be associated with any -enterprise of a worthwhile nature. I'm a real sucker for these toney -clambakes."</p> - -<p>"Toney!" The Chair snorted in outrage. "I suppose you are able to undo -this disgraceful state of affairs?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, quite," Toffee smiled. "In a twinkling. But I wonder if I really -want to."</p> - -<p>"You must," the Chair said distractedly. "With all that moaning and -groaning going on down there I can't hear myself think."</p> - -<p>"Heaven only knows why you should want to," Marc said, "with your -dwarfed powers of reasoning."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Quiet!" the Chair snapped. "Young lady, I'm telling you to release -those men from whatever unattractive thing is ailing them. That's a -congressional order!"</p> - -<p>"Okay," Toffee said. "But with one stipulation."</p> - -<p>"And what is that, may I ask?"</p> - -<p>"That you follow the example of You Know Where—and follow it to the -last bomb and factory."</p> - -<p>"What! Are you actually suggesting that we demobilize the country?"</p> - -<p>"I'm telling you now," Toffee said earnestly. "And I'm telling you to -do it immediately. Get religion, brother."</p> - -<p>"I see," the Chair said quietly. His hand moved cautiously toward an -alarm button.</p> - -<p>"I'm sorry," Toffee murmured, "but I haven't time to waste on any more -guards." She lifted her hand, made the necessary motion, and the Chair -departed his moorings with a leap that sent his glasses sailing off -into the air.</p> - -<p>"Murder!" he screamed, and crashed back into his seat in a fit of acute -discomfort.</p> - -<p>"Well," Marc sighed. "Fair's fair. These boys have been giving everyone -else that localized pain for years. Now they're just getting a shot of -their own medicine. By the way, what happened to that little man from -Intelligence?"</p> - -<p>"He's in with the congressmen," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>Dusting her hands lightly, she turned away just in time to see a door -swing open to permit the pompous entrance of several over-costumed and -over-decorated individuals who had obviously played the army and navy -game with the right set of loaded dice.</p> - -<p>One, however, stood ahead of and apart from the others. He glittered -and shone with all the bogus brilliance of a dime store jewelry -counter. From the peak of his duck-tailed blonde hair to the tips of -his two-toned shoes—passing quickly over his rust-red jacket and -lemon yellow trousers—he was the absolute end and final gasp in -well-upholstered commercial entertainers. As he stood impressively -in the doorway his shirt front added the final touch of elegance by -lighting up with the classical quote: Kiss Me Quick!</p> - -<p>"Good night!" Marc said. "President Flemm! And the heads of the War -Department!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>As Toffee gazed on this fine new catch, whole vistas of fresh -achievement spread themselves before her. "Hail! Hail!" she said. "Deck -the halls with poison ivy!"</p> - -<p>The President, having had his little joke, had since fallen into -a mood for a bit of tribute from what he considered his official -flunkies—or straight men. As he waited for the Congress to rise in -his honor—without result—an expression of petulance swept over his -features. It wasn't as though they weren't aware of his presence; he -made himself known surely. Then why didn't the clods snap into it?</p> - -<p>He stepped imperiously to the head of the aisle, from whence there -issued low sounds of displeasure and suddenly, with a start, found -himself faced with a shattering view of a whole row of upturned -bottoms.</p> - -<p>"Here, now!" he exclaimed. "What sort of greeting is this? If you -men have some personal criticism to make against me there must be a -nicer way of expressing it!" He swung about to the Chair. "Just who is -responsible for this insulting...!"</p> - -<p>The words jammed together in his throat at the sight of the Chair whose -sightless eyes peered down at him with every evidence of complete -loathing. He seemed to snarl. In fact, as the President watched, the -Chair actually did bare his fangs and snarl.</p> - -<p>"Now, just a minute!" the President cried, taken aback. "Maybe we do -have our little differences now and again, but there's no need to -get obstreperous about it. Now stop slavering at the mouth in that -extraordinary way and tell those old fools in the aisle to turn around -right end up."</p> - -<p>The Chair only snarled again.</p> - -<p>"Oh, very well," the President said coolly. "If that's the attitude you -want to take...."</p> - -<p>"I don't think you're really going to get anywhere with him," Toffee -put in mildly.</p> - -<p>The President whirled about. "And who are you?"</p> - -<p>"You might say I'm in charge here," Toffee said. "My friend and I. I -think you'll discover that the Congress is suffering from shock—in a -way." She nodded to the Chair. "With that one, it's something I said." -The big brass crowded in curiously from the rear and ogled Toffee with -enormous appreciation. "Oddly, you are just the group I've been waiting -to see. I've been wanting to tell you that the time has come for you to -demobilize the nation—unload all that high-powered ammunition before -it goes off and hurts someone."</p> - -<p>The President merely stared at her for a moment. Then he shook his -head. "Wouldn't get a big enough laugh," he said.</p> - -<p>"I take it you are replying in the negative?" Toffee asked.</p> - -<p>"You got it, sis," the President said with his customary dignity. -"Besides, just where do you get off telling me the time? Who signed you -up for the act?"</p> - -<p>"Allow me to present my credentials," Toffee said, and raised her hand. -"You'll get a kick out of this."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A moment later President Flemm, quite to his own surprise, added -acrobatic dancing to his list of talents. Toffee, aware that important -persons required her best efforts, added a shot to the President's -neck, having already administered to the more logical location.</p> - -<p>President Flemm's fine tenor assailed the air with ear-splitting -clarity, as his companions edged away in terror. Clutching alternately -at his neck and his rear, the man leaped about like a fan dancer -deprived of her feathers before a meeting of young business executives. -The President gave the performance of a man who was torn in his very -soul.</p> - -<p>"Think that'll get a laugh?" Toffee asked. And then, lest the -President desired companions, she quickly added the efforts of the War -Department. The effect was engaging in a primitive sort of way, though -there was a great deal of clanking and crashing of brass on brass.</p> - -<p>"Any time you gentlemen decide to sit one out," Toffee said, "just let -me know. There are plenty of telephones handy with which to spread the -good news."</p> - -<p>She and Marc retreated to the steps in front of the podium, picking up -an abandoned bottle on the way. Toffee settled back comfortably and -indulged in a long draft.</p> - -<p>"Hey," Marc said, "you might leave a swallow for me. I'm the one who -needs the stimulant, you know."</p> - -<p>Toffee handed him the bottle, and for a moment they sat silent -listening dreamily to the sounds of gnashing teeth and grunted curses -that filled the air about them. Marc looked over to where the President -and his cronies had fallen into a stupor of misery.</p> - -<p>"Looks like the government has collapsed," he observed drowsily. "I -might say it has a pain in its brass."</p> - -<p>Even as he spoke, the President lifted an enfeebled hand and beckoned -to them. "I think the President wishes a word with us."</p> - -<p>"Isn't it thrilling," Toffee said, "meeting all these important people -on such intimate terms?" She tilted the bottle again. "Let's toddle -over and see what the old comic wants."</p> - -<p>"This is excruciating!" the President panted as they approached. -"You've got to stop it; it's unbearable."</p> - -<p>"Now you know how people felt about your jokes," Toffee said. "I take -it you're on the verge of capitulation?"</p> - -<p>"Over the verge," the President grunted weakly. "Huh, fellas?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Four sets of clenched teeth bobbed up and down behind him, accompanied -by the plaintive rattle of metal.</p> - -<p>"Good show, men," Toffee said. "That's using the old heads. Follow me -to the telephones the best way you can and start the wires singing—my -tune, of course."</p> - -<p>Half an hour later Toffee and Marc let themselves out of the room by -the back way and walked along the corridor toward the street.</p> - -<p>"I'm hungry as an abandoned babe," Toffee said.</p> - -<p>Marc regarded her from beneath drooping eyelids. "I don't know if I -can stay awake long enough to feed you," he said. Then he stopped and -nodded worriedly back the way they'd come. "Are you sure you ought to -leave them all groaning around in there like that?"</p> - -<p>"Until after the fireworks tonight," Toffee said. "When it comes to -backing out on your word those boys could face to the rear and win -the Olympic races without straining a nerve. Besides, suffering has a -cleansing effect on the soul, they tell me, and that mob in there has -the grimiest set of souls I've ever seen. I informed the lot of them -that if they welched on this deal they'd stay that way the rest of -their lives and would have to be buried in round coffins. We can come -back and turn them loose later."</p> - -<p>"I suppose you're right," Marc said. "Right now, I've got to have a pot -of coffee before I pass out."</p> - -<p>By now they had reached the sidewalk and luckily spotted a cab. Waving -for the driver's attention, they hurried forward.</p> - -<p>It was just as Marc reached for the door of the cab that he suddenly -stumbled. All at once his weariness became too great to be borne -further; it reached to his very bones and turned them to sawdust. As he -went down to his knees the blackness swam in around him. He reached out -a hand to steady himself, but there was nothing to cling to. He was -vaguely aware of falling....</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Well, now, how'd you like a dame like that!" the cab driver exclaimed, -climbing out of the car. "She takes a powder just because the guy gets -a snootful and passes out!" He looked down at Marc who, sprawled on -the sidewalk, was tuning up for a good solid snore. "I wonder where he -belongs?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Wherever he belonged, Marc at that very moment was lounging in a state -of quiet bliss on one of the rising slopes in the valley of his mind. -He turned to regard Toffee whose costume had once again become the -transparent tunic, and to reflect that Paris would have to go a long -way to stitch up anything half as becoming. Toffee smiled back at him -and propped herself up lazily on one elbow.</p> - -<p>"Well," she said. "It was something of a whirl, wasn't it? I mean it -leaves one a trifle dizzy."</p> - -<p>"Whirl?" Marc asked. "How do you mean?" Recent events had slipped from -his mind in the interval between awareness and slumber.</p> - -<p>"The bombs," Toffee said. "The politicians—" she held up her hand and -displayed the ring "—and this."</p> - -<p>Memory jarred back into place. "Oh, my gosh!" Marc cried. "All those -congressmen! And the President! They're all back there...! And you're -here...! How'll you ever get them straightened out?"</p> - -<p>Toffee laughed. "I won't. There's going to be a terrific run on the -Washington doctors for a while, that's all. Anyway, it'll do the old -tubs good, give them something to think about next time they start -getting gay with the public's time—and redheaded women."</p> - -<p>"Anyway," Marc said. "At least it proves that a well-placed jolt in -the right place is a lot more powerful than any bomb. I was right in -the first place. When warfare gets personal it loses its attraction. I -suppose they'll be busy developing more and worse bombs as soon as the -shock wears off, but at least the people in the world will have another -chance to try and prevent them."</p> - -<p>Toffee shrugged lightly. "It just goes to show that world politics are -really childishly simple when someone comes along with a firm hand."</p> - -<p>"Are you going to keep the ring?" Marc asked.</p> - -<p>Toffee shook her head. "I think I'll just dematerialize it; I never did -care about gems." She regarded him slowly from the corner of her eye. -"I have just one last use for it first."</p> - -<p>"Yes?" Marc asked with a note of apprehension. "What's that?"</p> - -<p>"Just this," Toffee said. She slid her arms around his neck and drew -him close. "One twitch of resistance and I'll double you up like a -pretzel."</p> - -<p>Marc sighed helplessly. "When you put it that way, what can I do?" he -asked, and submitted unflinchingly to her kiss.</p> - -<p>It was just as she drew away, just as she brushed her hand over his -shoulder, that the ring exploded.</p> - -<p>Actually it was only a burst of vibrant green light, but it was so -intense that it blinded Marc, blocking Toffee and the valley from -sight. Marc squinted against the brilliance and waited for it to die. -But when it did there was only an infinite blackness where it had been.</p> - -<p>"Toffee?" Marc called tentatively. "Toffee, where are you?"</p> - -<p>"Goodbye, Marc," Toffee's voice said through the darkness. "Goodbye, -you old reprobate."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Marc moved a bit to one side and felt of the softness beneath him -before he opened his eyes. Then he opened them half fearfully, -wondering where he was. He looked about slowly, then suddenly sat -upright. He was home, in his own room, in his own bed.</p> - -<p>But it was dark outside, and the lamp was on. He had passed out on a -street in Washington, if he remembered correctly. He was sure that was -right, but he couldn't think how he had gotten home. Then he held his -thoughts in abeyance and listened; there was the sound of a voice—a -man's voice—and it seemed to be coming from downstairs....</p> - -<p>"<i>As each bomb bursts and casts out its power for destruction the -burden becomes just so much lighter in the hearts of men all over the -world. Tonight the bombs send out their light against the darkness, not -as instruments of death and hate, but as multi-beamed beacons pointing -the way to world peace. This is one of the greatest nights in human -history!</i>"</p> - -<p>Marc leaped from the bed, drew on his robe which was lying across the -bed, and ran out into the hallway. He was nearly to the head of the -stairs when he stopped to listen again.</p> - -<p>"<i>The mystery surrounding the House of Congress since early today when -the order for demobilization was issued from there by the President -remains unsolved. Guards have been placed by presidential order at all -entrances and exits, and no one, not even the President, has left the -inner chamber. The press and other officials have been strenuously -barred from entry, even at gun point in some instances. However a -number of physicians have received calls from within the chamber and -have been escorted into the room. A rumor persists that one of the -members—Congressman Wright of Maine—was stricken with the mumps -during today's session, placing the entire Congress in quarantine....</i>"</p> - -<p>Marc hurried down the stairs and into the living room. He stopped short -at the sight of her.</p> - -<p>"Julie...!" he cried.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>She rose quickly from her chair and switched off the radio.</p> - -<p>"I had it fixed," she said. "I was so ashamed." Then her face lighted -with joy. "Oh, darling, there's the most wonderful, wonderful news! The -President ordered...!"</p> - -<p>"I know," Marc said. "I ... uh ... I heard it just now coming down the -stairs." He went to her and drew her into his arms, and for a moment -they were both still, just holding each other.</p> - -<p>"Julie...?" Marc said, and she nodded. "When did you come back?"</p> - -<p>"The same night I left, of course," Julie smiled. "I only got as far as -the station and I got to thinking that if anything happened ... and we -weren't together.... Anyway, I turned right around and came back. I -was nearly frantic when you weren't here. I just sat here and cried and -blamed myself."</p> - -<p>"I see," Marc said. "And ... uh ... how did I get back?"</p> - -<p>"The taxi driver brought you. He found your address in your wallet."</p> - -<p>"All the way from Washington?"</p> - -<p>"He said there was a young lady he wanted to see here anyway, and he -only charged half fare." She put her hand to his cheek. "Oh, I was so -relieved when I found out you'd only been on a bender. In fact I was -a little flattered that you were that desperate without me." She drew -closer. "Oh, darling, we both behaved so childishly. We deserved just -what we got—a good swift kick in the...."</p> - -<p>But Marc kissed her quickly—and for a long time—until he was sure a -new topic for conversation had come into her mind....</p> - -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE VENGEANCE OF TOFFEE ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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