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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #64957 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/64957)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Magnetic Girl, by Richard Marsh
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The Magnetic Girl
-
-Author: Richard Marsh
-
-Release Date: March 29, 2021 [eBook #64957]
-[Last updated: June 5, 2022]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: an anonymous Project Gutenberg volunteer.
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MAGNETIC GIRL ***
-
-
-
-
- THE MAGNETIC GIRL
-
- BY
- RICHARD MARSH
- AUTHOR OF
- “_The Beetle_,” “_Curios: Some Strange Adventures of Two Bachelors_,”
- “_Ada Vernham, Actress_,” “_Mrs Musgrave and Her Husband_,”
- “_The Twickenham Peerage_,” _etc._
-
- London
- John Long
- 13 and 14 Norris Street, Haymarket
- 1903
-
-
-
-
- COPYRIGHT.
-
- _Copyright by John Long 1903
- All Rights Reserved_
-
-
-
-
- CONTENTS.
-
- CHAPTER I. A MAN
- CHAPTER II. WOMEN’S VOICES
- CHAPTER III. THE UNFINISHED SENTENCE
- CHAPTER IV. THE EPISODE OF THE BAKER’S BOY
- CHAPTER V. THE FURTHER EPISODES OF THE SHOP-WALKER AND THE ARTIST IN
- HAIR
- CHAPTER VI. MISS NORAH FEELS ODD
- CHAPTER VII. MISS NORAH RECEIVES TWO GENTLEMEN
- CHAPTER VIII. MEN ARE DECEIVERS EVER
- CHAPTER IX. MORE TREACHERY
- CHAPTER X. THE COMPROMISE
- CHAPTER XI. THE TURNING OF THE WORM
- CHAPTER XII. MISS NORAH’S SOLILOQUY
- CHAPTER XIII. JANE
- CHAPTER XIV. A QUARTER TO SEVEN
- CHAPTER XV. TRAMPLING UPON FIVE
- CHAPTER XVI. THE DINNER WHICH FAILED
- CHAPTER XVII. THE BROWN MAN
- CHAPTER XVIII. BEFORE THE CURTAIN
- CHAPTER XIX. AN UNREHEARSED EFFECT
- CHAPTER XX. THE BROUGHAM
- CHAPTER XXI. THE SINGULAR WOOING
- CHAPTER XXII. I BEHAVE LIKE A GOOSE
- CHAPTER XXIII. “UNTIL?”
- CHAPTER XXIV. THE FINISHED SENTENCE
- CHAPTER XXV. THE BROWN MAN’S APOLOGY
- CHAPTER XXVI. ON THE SINGULAR EFFECTS OF SUNLIGHT
-
-
-
-
- THE MAGNETIC GIRL
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER I.
- A MAN
-
-It was the most extraordinary thing that ever happened to anyone. I
-really hardly know how to begin to tell about it. I was doing my hair
-before the looking-glass in my bedroom--and I could not help noticing
-that it was rather a curious colour, though my eyes were nearly
-blinded by tears of rage, and something else. The rage was because
-Lilian and Audrey and Eveleen and Doris, and mother too, had been
-saying all the nasty things they could to me. The something else was
-because Benjamin Morgan had asked me to be his wife.
-
-There--it’s out! My first proposal of marriage--my very, very first!
-and that it should have come from him! It made me go hot all over with
-shame and disgust and a most singular variety of feelings.
-
-They had been teasing me about him for ever so long; congratulating
-me--of course, with the most biting sarcasm--on having made a conquest
-at last. I am twenty-three, and nearly twenty-four, and no man ever
-paid me the least attention--until Mr Morgan began. And I wished he
-had not; because they made the most dreadful fun of him, and teased me
-more than they had ever done before--which is saying more than words
-can describe--on account of his being a hunchback. At least, he’s not
-exactly a hunchback, though they say he is: but I do like to be
-accurate, and I don’t care who laughs at me, and I’m quite sure that
-it’s only one shoulder which is a little higher than the other.
-There’s no denying that he is rather short for a man. His nurse
-dropped him when he was a baby. For years they never thought that he
-would live. If it were not for that there would be nothing against
-him. He has a nice face,--no one can say that there is anything the
-matter with that; with big black eyes, and the sweetest smile, and the
-pleasantest voice. He was the most thoughtful person I ever met. As
-generous as could be. He never said disagreeable things about anyone.
-I never saw him impatient, or out of temper. Though he had a way,
-sometimes, of making you understand that he was hurt by something
-which had been said or done, which made you feel that you were a
-perfect wretch.
-
-If he had not been crooked! They never ceased to laugh at me because
-of “Crooked Ben,”--as they loved to call him. It got to such a state
-that I grew to hate the sight of him. At the mere mention of his name
-I would go hot all over;--they were always dragging him in by the head
-and ears! Persisting--in season and out of season!--in telling me how
-glad they were that I had some sort of an admirer at last, even if it
-wasn’t a very straight one. That made me so wild that I would declare
-that he was no admirer of mine, though I could not help but suspect
-the contrary. Then, of course, they would go on worse than ever,
-saying that having a lover like that was almost like having two:
-because he had two such different sides to him that no one would
-suppose that the one belonged to the other; and that when he was my
-husband I might call one side of him by one name, and the other by
-another. I have not the very best of tempers, and when they talked
-like that I would fly into such rages; vowing and declaring that
-nothing on earth would ever induce me to have anything to do with him,
-and that nothing was further from his mind than the idea of asking me,
-since I had given him no sort of encouragement, but, on the contrary,
-had given him clearly to understand that I did not desire even his
-acquaintance.
-
-And now, in spite of all my vows and declarations, he had actually
-made me a proposal of marriage. If they ever came to hear of it I
-might as well go into a lunatic asylum at once; because they would
-certainly end by driving me there.
-
-And yet I was not so sure as I should have liked to have been that I
-was beside myself with indignation at the mere notion of his audacity.
-Though, of course, I was wild. But, I suppose, the fact is, if you
-never have had a proposal from anyone, in a kind of a way it is
-interesting to have an offer from anyone or anything,--even from, in a
-manner of speaking, a monkey on a stick. If only just to know what it
-sounds like and how it’s done.
-
-Everything was against Mr Morgan from the very start;--I will own
-that. When he met me I was in a red-hot rage. If a king on his throne
-had asked me to be his wife I should have felt like scratching him.
-Mother had just been telling me that I was getting dowdier and
-dowdier, and uglier and uglier every day, and if that sort of remark
-makes anyone feel like sugar and spice and all that’s nice, then all I
-can say is that it doesn’t me. I had really gone out to get something
-in High Street. But the thought of what a dreary waste my life
-actually was made me turn away from shops in disgust, and seek the
-solitude of Kensington Gardens. I had scarcely gone fifty yards along
-the Broad Walk when I all but ran against Mr Morgan. The sight of him
-made me madder than ever. He just looked at me. When he was near I
-used to have a horrid feeling that he understood me almost as well as
-I did myself; and that he more than suspected that I was an ugly
-duckling in my way almost as much as he was in his. It made me wild,
-the idea of being bracketed, in any sense whatever, with him.
-
-I noticed what a shiny top-hat he had on,--I never saw anyone who wore
-more beautiful top-hats; his taste was excellent; he was always
-faultlessly dressed. I was filled with a vindictive desire to knock
-off his hat with my parasol, and kick it; I did so feel like kicking
-someone. There can be no real doubt that I have both a bad temper and
-savage instincts. But so far was he from realising what was passing
-through my mind that he gave me what was unmistakably a look of
-sympathy;--there is nothing I hate so much as being sympathised with.
-The thought that he was doing so made me wilder than ever. But before
-I had a chance of snubbing him he began--
-
-“I was just thinking of you, Miss Norah.”
-
-“It’s a pity you were not better employed,” I retorted, with a
-conspicuous display of both gratitude and good breeding.
-
-“Thank you. Your pity is wasted. I could not be better employed.”
-
-His unruffled air made me disposed to be ruder than ever; and I was
-just about to tell him that it was most unfortunate that he had no
-better occupation for his time, when off he started,--right in the
-middle of the Broad Walk, in front of all the people, without the
-slightest prelude.
-
-“I could hardly be better employed than in thinking of the woman I
-wish to make my wife. And you are she.--Norah, will you be my wife?”
-
-I was so startled,--genuinely startled, that I was thrown all in a
-fluster. That he had had some faint notion at the back of his head I
-had feared; I do not mind admitting it. But that it had anything like
-come to a head I had never imagined. That I do protest. Still less had
-I supposed that, under any circumstances, he would blurt it out in
-that public place, and in that extraordinary manner. It was entirely
-contrary to my most cherished notions. I could conceive of a
-declaration being led up to gradually--of its taking a final form in
-some delicate phrase, amidst suitable surroundings, at an appropriate
-moment.
-
-But that, five seconds after encountering me in a tearing temper,
-amidst crowds of people, anyone should ask me, in a casual sort of
-manner, to be his wife, as if he were asking for the next dance--that
-I had not conceived of as possible. I felt, for the moment, as if I
-was breathless; looking at him as if to make sure whether I could
-believe the evidence of my eyes and ears.
-
-“What did you say?”
-
-“I asked you if you will be my wife. Will you, Norah?”
-
-Not a word about love. Not a hint of any admiration he might feel; of
-regard which had been gradually growing up within his breast. Not a
-sign of perturbation. I had read about the awkward shyness, the
-painful self-consciousness, with which some men approached that most
-delicate of subjects. There were no symptoms of anything of the kind
-about Mr Benjamin Morgan. At least, he did not wear them on his
-exterior. His tone and manner could not have been more matter-of-fact,
-if he had been asking me whether I thought that it was going to rain.
-I was so taken aback, that I hardly knew how to treat him. I tried
-dignity.
-
-“Is this a jest?” I inquired. “If so, you must allow me to observe
-that I don’t think it is quite in the best of taste.”
-
-“If it were a jest, it would be in the very worst of taste. But it is
-not a jest, and you know it.”
-
-Really, he was even more dignified than I was. Had I not known it was
-impossible, I might have supposed that he was snubbing me on account
-of the suggestion I had made. As if it had not been the most
-reasonable one in the world. I said nothing. The truth is, I could
-think of nothing to say. The position was such an excessively peculiar
-one, that I did not feel myself at once capable of treating him with
-the crushing scorn which I was becoming rapidly conscious he deserved.
-What he imagined my silence meant, I cannot say; but though it seems
-nearly incredible, I am almost drawn to the conclusion that he took it
-to imply encouragement. The calm way in which he went on talking
-forces me to think it.
-
-“I do not fancy we have had very happy lives, either you or I. I take
-it that we have both led Robinson Crusoe sort of existences, on desert
-islands of our own. I am a lonely man; you are a lonely girl.”
-
-“I a lonely girl! Are you forgetting that I have four sisters and a
-mother?”
-
-“No; I am not forgetting it. But one may have a host of mere
-relations, and yet be all alone.”
-
-“Mere relations!” I liked the word. I began to bristle all over. How
-dare he speak of my four sisters--not to mention mamma!--as “mere”
-relations. His assurance was increasing. I had never supposed him
-capable of such audacity.
-
-“I will trouble you to speak of my family with respect, Mr Morgan, and
-not as if they were persons of absolutely no account.”
-
-“Nothing was further from my wish than to speak of any member of your
-family with disrespect. But I think that even you will admit that,
-even in your own home, you are alone.”
-
-It made me furious to hear him say so,--even though it might be true.
-It was no business of anybody’s how my own people chose to treat me;
-they had no right to even notice. Nothing is more unpleasant than to
-have a stranger spying on what happens to you in the bosom of your own
-family. And so I longed to tell him.
-
-“You are quite mistaken, Mr Morgan. I am not lonely--not in the very
-least--ever! And I cannot conceive what leads you to suppose that I
-am.”
-
-“I recognise the chivalry which prompts your answer.”
-
-“Chivalry!--What are you talking about, Mr Morgan?--Have you lost your
-senses?”
-
-“No; not yet. As I trust that you will afford me opportunities of
-proving to you. I at least am lonely--I believe the very loneliest
-creature in the whole world. I want you to take pity on my solitude.”
-
-“I am very sorry for you if you are so much alone.”
-
-“Do you mean it?”
-
-“Of course I mean it. Why do you persist in hinting that I keep on
-saying what I don’t mean?”
-
-“If you do mean it--really mean it--then you have made of me the
-happiest of men.”
-
-“That’s nonsense. It’s absurd to say that my being sorry for you can
-make you happy.”
-
-“It is not absurd; because if you are really sorry--as you say you
-are--you will put an end to my loneliness.”
-
-I looked at him, beginning to get red all over. It commenced to dawn
-upon me what he meant. I had not supposed that he was a master of such
-roundabout ways.
-
-“I quite fail to understand you, Mr Morgan.”
-
-“Is it not plain that, if you are really sorry for me, you will be my
-wife? And then I can assure you, from the bottom of my heart, that I
-shall be the happiest of men.”
-
-Such insidious methods of arriving at entirely erroneous conclusions I
-was unaccustomed to. It was becoming momentarily plain to me that I
-had not known Mr Benjamin Morgan so well as I imagined. I had supposed
-that he was an artless sort of person; and now it almost began to
-appear that he was a regular Jesuit.
-
-“I do wish, Mr Morgan, that you would not talk nonsense. I am not
-feeling very well, and I can assure you that I am in anything but a
-mood for frivolity.”
-
-“Then our moods are in sympathy. You surely do not suggest that to ask
-you to be my wife is to be frivolous. It is to me the most important
-question that ever yet was asked. The expression of your sympathy
-emboldens me to put it again.--Norah, please say that you will be my
-wife.”
-
-He raised his hand, and with the tips of his fingers touched my
-arm--out there in the Broad Walk, before all the people. Something
-seemed, all at once, to go right through me;--whether it was the
-sudden surprise of his touch, or the strangeness of his tone, I could
-not say. But for the moment I felt almost inclined to cry--and to do
-something much worse. For one dreadful second I was almost on the
-verge of making a perfect idiot of myself. It is frightful to think of
-such a thing being possible, but I am nearly disposed to believe that
-if we had been alone, and there had been nothing to divert my
-attention, I might have done. But just at that second I saw Lena
-Portch coming towards us with Mr Champneys, and the smile which she
-gave made me frantic. She is Lilian’s particular friend, and quite as
-fond of chaffing me about “Crooked Ben” as any of them. I could not
-but suspect that there might be something a little peculiar about our
-attitude, and the way we were behaving to one another. The idea that I
-should allow him to make a public spectacle of me, and furnish Lena
-with a first-rate tale for Lilian, was unendurable. I became all at
-once so angry--so stupidly angry!--that I forgot my manners
-altogether, not to speak of any fragments of common decency which I
-may suppose myself to possess, and behaved myself like the absolute
-little wretch which at heart I am.
-
-“Thank you. I am obliged to you for your offer, Mr Morgan. But I do
-not care to marry just at present; and, when I do marry, I intend to
-marry a man.”
-
-No one need tell me that it was a perfectly disgraceful thing to say.
-No one could have been better aware of it than I was. I could have
-bitten my own tongue off for having said it the very moment
-afterwards: I never should have said it at all if it had not been for
-the horrid smile I saw on Lena’s face, and my instant perception of
-the sort of yarn she would make all possible haste to spin. I know
-that that is not the least excuse; but it is all the excuse I have to
-offer,--I could cry at the mere thought of it even now.
-
-Lena and Mr Champneys passed on. Mr Morgan was still. He just looked
-at me once,--a startled, dreadful sort of look; and then he looked
-away, walking on by my side in silence. I seemed somehow to have
-caught a sudden chill. I was shivering all over,--I could have beaten
-myself with pleasure. How long the silence lasted, or how far we
-walked before we spoke again, I have not the faintest notion. But I
-know that at last he stood still, and turned, and looked at me,--and
-there was something in his look which seemed to make my heart go cold
-as ice. He said--there was a quiver in his voice which made me flinch
-as if he had struck me with a whip,--
-
-“When you do marry, you intend to marry a man. I had not thought, Miss
-Norah, that you would have said that to me. Good-day;--and good-bye.”
-
-He raised his hat, and walked away, and left me speechless, rooted to
-the ground, feeling, as I deserved to feel, like an utter fool;--like
-a wicked, cruel, thoughtless, idiotic fool,--and worse than that!
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER II.
- WOMEN’S VOICES
-
-He never looked round once; though I stood where he had left me,
-looking after him till he was lost among the crowd. What people
-thought of me I cannot say. And I didn’t care. They must have supposed
-that I was a sort of Lot’s wife, turned into a pillar, or something.
-But, at that moment, what other people thought of me did not matter in
-the least. What I thought of myself was a nightmare. I marched off
-home, feeling as if I would have liked to have pinched everyone I met.
-I passed Lena Portch, who was still with Mr Champneys,--a most
-objectionable person, who _will_ wear shepherd’s-plaid trousers, which
-I abominate. Lena was to blame for everything. She stood at the gate
-as I was coming out of the Gardens. Directly afterwards I saw that she
-was crossing the road. I am sure, if a motor car, which almost made an
-end of me, had knocked her down, and run right over her, I would not
-have turned a hair. If Mr Champneys does marry her I hope he’ll beat
-her. I have a moral conviction that he is just that kind of creature.
-What can a man be like who lives in shepherd’s-plaid trousers?
-
-When I reached home I was hot, and dishevelled, and all anyhow. I knew
-I should get it directly I set foot inside the door,--that is, unless
-I could manage to slip upstairs before anyone caught sight of me. And
-I got it--mamma opened the door for me herself. We had had a
-difficulty with our servants. It is my belief that when five women
-live alone in a house together they always are having difficulties
-with their servants. I know we were. The cook and the parlour-maid had
-left at a moment’s notice--or, rather, without a moment’s notice.
-Lilian and Audrey had complained about the state their things were in,
-as if they had been worn. Inquiries had been made, and there was quite
-a scene: I should not be surprised if the cook had worn some of
-Lilian’s frocks--they had just about the same figure. Anyhow, only the
-housemaid remained, and she was in two minds. And as, as yet, we had
-been able to get no one in to help her, we were at her mercy.
-
-“Why, mamma,” I exclaimed, when I saw that it was she who had opened
-the door, “where is Jane?”
-
-“It’s Jane’s afternoon out; and, of course, I should not dream of
-asking her to inconvenience herself to oblige me. It’s the mistresses
-who are the servants nowadays. What a state you’re in.”
-
-She spoke in her most acid tones. Mamma is not very tall, and rather
-dumpy, and though she always dresses in black silk she never appears
-imposing, though she tries her best to think she does.
-
-“Why, what’s the matter with me? I’ve been walking fast, and am rather
-hot,--that’s all.”
-
-“All! Haven’t I forbidden you to walk fast? Are you not aware that
-nothing accentuates the unfortunate vulgarity of your appearance so
-much as heat? Your hat is on one side, your hair is out of curl, your
-necktie is under your chin. You look positively blowsy. I am ashamed
-to see such a figure entering my house. And where are the things?”
-
-“Things?” I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten all about them. I
-had intended to get them as I returned from my stroll in Kensington
-Gardens; but what had taken place there had driven them right out of
-my head. “I meant to get them as I came back, but--I didn’t.”
-
-“Meant to get them as you came back! What do you mean? Did I not send
-you out for them, and for them only?”
-
-“Surely, Norah, you have not come back without my stockings? You know
-perfectly well that I can’t wear those shoes without them; nothing I
-have will do at all.--And where’s my matching?”
-
-Lilian had appeared out of the dining-room. She had bought a new pair
-of brown shoes, which she wanted to wear that evening, and it seemed
-that nothing she had in the way of hose was of quite the proper shade.
-She had given me a scrap of material which was the shade. It seemed
-that I had not only forgotten her stockings, but lost the matching.
-She let me have it when she became aware of the fact. Lilian is tall;
-and--sometimes--stately; and is considered smart; but she can be
-disagreeable, and most abusive. In fact, they can all of them be that.
-
-“Really, Norah, you are the most stupid person I ever met. Some people
-might suppose that you could not be so stupid as you look; but, I will
-do you the justice to admit that you appear to try your very best to
-be.”
-
-That was a pleasant thing to say! While I was searching about for
-something nice and stinging to reply, Doris came out of the
-morning-room on to the top of the stairs, and she began:
-
-“I suppose, Norah, that you have brought my fringe-nets, because I
-simply can’t do my hair until I have them. I’ve just torn my very
-last.”
-
-Then she supposed wrong, because I had not; and so I told her. The
-bathroom door was opened, and Audrey’s voice was heard. I never knew
-anyone for baths like Audrey. She likes to have three or four a day,
-with the water about up to boiling-point, and oatmeal in it; and there
-she lies and stews. What good she thinks it does her is beyond me. I
-am sure it doesn’t make her skin any whiter. It couldn’t. It’s
-perfectly white and as smooth as satin already. I only wish mine was
-like it.
-
-“Is that Norah? Has she brought that ribbon for my bodice? Because if
-she has, I’ll put it in at once.”
-
-There was no ribbon to be got out of me, neither for her bodice, nor
-for anything else, as Eveleen, who had followed Lilian out of the
-dining-room, proceeded to explain.
-
-“Oh dear no! she’s brought nothing, except herself;--and a pretty self
-she looks. Upon my word, Norah, I wonder that you can’t manage to keep
-yourself a trifle tidy--say about as tidy as the average charwoman.
-Especially as you can’t afford to look as if you had got your clothes
-on inside out. Some girls can; but, I assure you, you’re not one of
-them.”
-
-Eveleen is one of your dainty bandbox sort of girls. She never wears a
-pin. All her clothes seem to be part of her. You might live with her
-for years and never know that she even used hairpins. How she prevents
-their ever peeping out is beyond my understanding. And as for nets,
-they are put on so knowingly, and match her hair so exactly, that you
-would never guess that anything of that kind could have anything to do
-with the exquisite neatness of her hair.
-
-“We can’t all appear like barbers’ blocks, and look as if our hair
-were sent home, ready dressed, with the fish every day.”
-
-That was what I observed. We adjourned to the dining-room, and the
-discussion began. How many of them we have had of which I have been
-the subject! No one ever seems to grow tired of them--except me.
-
-“Norah,” mamma began, “I must ask you not to be rude. Your natural
-vulgarity, I suppose, you cannot help; but I will have you keep a
-guard upon your tongue when you are speaking to your sisters. I cannot
-understand why Providence ever afflicted me with such a child.”
-
-“I thought, mamma, that that was a problem which you had given up some
-time ago.”
-
-“Unfortunately, the affliction continues. My other daughters do me
-credit”--they were all of them beauties;--that was what made it so
-maddening for me. “I myself am not ill-looking.” (Mamma had been very
-pretty; and still looked nice, especially at night. Only I wish she
-would not wear a transformation--which seems to me to be just the same
-thing as a wig. Considering that Lilian is twenty-nine, and everybody
-knows it, it is so obvious.) “I therefore cannot understand how it is
-that I should have a child who is not only unprepossessing, but who
-cannot be induced to pay any attention to even the most elementary
-rules of toilet which every gentlewoman observes. A servant would be
-ashamed to appear in public in the condition in which you at present
-are.”
-
-Eveleen struck in:
-
-“I should think so! No decent servant looks as if she had covered
-herself with the contents of the rag-bag. Are you aware, Norah, that
-your belt has worked up behind, and that the hooks on your skirt are
-showing?”
-
-“And your shoe-lace is untied; and, unless I am mistaken, your
-stocking is concertinaed about your ankle;--but she doesn’t mind.”
-
-This was Lilian. Mamma followed:
-
-“But _I_ mind. In spite of every obstacle I have treated you exactly
-as I have done your sisters. But the problem becomes more serious
-every day. How do you suppose that I am ever going to get you properly
-settled in life if you persist in making of yourself a scarecrow?--an
-absolute figure of fun?--I am compelled to use such language.”
-
-“Oh, you needn’t trouble about a trifle of that sort. She’s settled
-all that for herself. She has her eye on Crooked Ben;--which is only
-as it should be, because, then, they’ll be a pair of figures of fun.”
-
-This, again, was Lilian. The things she allows herself to say when she
-is in the mood, if they heard them, would startle some of the people
-who call her stately. She may consider herself ultra-refined, and I do
-not deny that she looks it, but I am persuaded that at heart she is
-almost as vulgar as I am. When she said that, it made me mad. I flew
-at her like a wild-cat. I was just in the mood for it.
-
-“You talk, with a sneer, of Crooked Ben! You may have had bushels of
-proposals”--she has had heaps and heaps,--“but there wasn’t one among
-the lot worthy to black his boots. As for Mr Rumford, that
-bald-headed, bloated object, with quack written large all over him,
-you may like to have him muddling about you, but I wouldn’t touch him
-with a pair of tongs.”
-
-Lilian went white. The truth is, she was nearly twenty-nine, and I
-suppose thought it about time to have someone for a husband, and as Mr
-Rumford was showing a strong inclination to apply for the position, I
-rather fancy she was considering whether he would not do. He had made
-piles of money out of a patent medicine called “Aunt Jane’s Jalap,”
-and was really not such a bad sort in his way: though just then I was
-anything but disposed to let her know I thought so. Eveleen took up
-the cudgels for Lilian;--they always stand up for each other against
-me.
-
-“What a delicate way you have of putting a thing, Norah. You and your
-language are so in keeping. If you could only induce someone to
-transfer you from the family of which you so entirely disapprove how
-much happier you would be--and we also. Couldn’t you put the screw on
-Mr Morgan? He seems to be the only chance you are ever likely to have.
-Do make the most of him. Let mamma ask him what he means.”
-
-“Look here, Eveleen! You think yourself vastly superior to me----”
-
-“Not at all. Not while your complexion is quite so brilliant--I
-couldn’t.”
-
-“Oh yes, you do. But you’re wrong for all that. You’ve spent your
-whole life in chasing men----”
-
-“I rather fancied that some of them had chased me. But I daresay it’s
-the same thing to you.”
-
-“Is there anything to be proud of in that? You’ve devoted your whole
-life to men, anyhow, and I don’t think that’s very womanly.”
-
-“I think it probable that you wouldn’t--for reasons.--My dear Norah,
-do use your handkerchief. There’s a drop of perspiration trickling
-down your nose. Or is it a tear? It doesn’t seem to combine with
-freckles.”
-
-Doris struck in.
-
-“When you people have quite finished, might I ask if I am ever going
-to have any fringe-nets? I can’t remain the whole day with my hair in
-curlers.”
-
-She had it in curlers then, and very queer she looked. No one would
-have known her for the radiant Doris of her admirers. Nothing takes
-the gilt off a girl’s appearance so much as curlers. Unless mamma
-makes me I never use them. Thank goodness, my hair has got a curl of
-its own, if it is not quite in the style of the barbers’
-fashion-plates. Mamma--who never thinks of being down on them for
-anything which they may say to me--was quick at seconding Doris’
-suggestion.
-
-“Norah, be so good as to let me hear no more from you. Both your
-language and your appearance smack of the servants’ hall. You will
-fetch the things I requested you to bring before. Then I will ask you
-for an explanation of how it is that you have failed to bring them
-now. Go up to your room, and make yourself look as decent as you
-conveniently can, and be quick about it;--and not another word!”
-
-Lilian stood up.
-
-“I suppose I had better find you another matching. You are sure to
-bring something impossible if I don’t.”
-
-Eveleen put in her word.
-
-“I should say that she’s sure to bring something impossible in any
-case. I would rather be excused from trusting her to get anything of
-the least importance for me. I admire your courage.”
-
-“She had better not make any mess about those nets of mine,” cried
-Doris; “or things will become exhilarating. Norah, if you tell them at
-Morrel’s that they’re for me there will be no mess. I suppose you have
-some sense.”
-
-“Doris, what an inexhaustible fund of confidence you have in Norah. It
-may be sisterly; but is it wise?”
-
-Just as I was going to snap off Eveleen’s nose, of course mamma must
-interfere:
-
-“Now, Norah, not another word. Do as I tell you. Go upstairs, and
-endeavour to make yourself look more like a daughter of mine should
-do, and then go and fetch those things--and mind there are no
-mistakes.”
-
-I went upstairs. As I went I heard Eveleen laugh. I knew she was
-laughing at me. She may have a musical laugh--I have been told
-hundreds of times she has, so I suppose she must have--but it did not
-sound musical to me just then. It put all my nerves on edge.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER III.
- THE UNFINISHED SENTENCE
-
-Was it strange that I was in a pretty state of mind? Was it to be
-wondered at that I hardly knew if I was standing on my head or heels?
-
-When I got into my room I slammed the door, and turned the key. I tore
-my hat off and threw it on to the bed. I could have cried; but I make
-it a rule never to cry--or hardly ever. Besides, I was only too well
-aware that if I once started I never should leave off; and then I
-should have jumped from the frying-pan into the fire, with a
-vengeance. They would tear me to pieces if I did not make haste and
-get the rubbish they wanted.
-
-I went to the looking-glass. There was no mistake about it, I did look
-hideous. There was some excuse for some of the things they said. It
-has always been a conviction of mine that if they would let me dress
-as I pleased I might look presentable. But they won’t let me. They all
-dress like fashion-plates, and nothing could suit them better; and
-they make me dress like the fashion-plates, and nothing could suit me
-less. I believe they are afraid of me getting out of the picture; or,
-rather, of my being a sort of picture all by myself, and so diverting
-attention from them. As it is I am a kind of raree show. So whenever
-they take me out with them--which is very seldom; for, in any case,
-five sisters are a frightful crowd--I am either a perpetual
-wallflower, or an ideal gooseberry, neither of which _rôles_ I care
-for in the very least.
-
-I am big--taller than Lilian, and much broader. I have great limbs--I
-cannot help it if they are like a man’s, though mamma is always
-throwing it in my teeth. I like all sorts of exercise. The only form
-of exercise they really like is dancing. They dance exquisitely. My
-dancing is like an elephant’s--I am always having to apologise for
-getting on my partner’s toes. I should like to spend the whole of my
-life in the open air. I sometimes fancy that mamma thinks there is
-something improper in being out-of-doors. She is always exclaiming
-against what she calls masculine women--by which she means girls who
-golf, and row, and ride bicycles, and all that sort of thing. I should
-like to go in for everything athletic, but they won’t let me. They
-keep me fastened in a tight pair of corsets, which sometimes make me
-feel as if I were being held in a vice. I am in a dreadful
-condition--soft as putty, instead of hard as nails. I cannot walk a
-quarter of a mile, at anything like a decent pace, without perspiring.
-Then they laugh at me. If they would let me go in for some real hard
-work, like lots of other girls do, I would soon show them. By nature I
-am a sort of female Hercules; it is a shame that they insist on making
-me a jelly-fish.
-
-I want to have plenty of room inside my clothes. I want my hair to do
-itself; it would not look so bad with just a touch or two, even if it
-ran a trifle wild. I want my boots and shoes to humour my feet, I do
-not want my feet to have to humour them; I am not ashamed of their
-being large. I do not want to be screwed into an imitation Paris
-costume, which is too tight everywhere, and bursts when I lift my
-arms. I know I look a gawk in it, and I always shall. If they would
-let me be natural--my own self--I do believe I should pass muster.
-Girls of my build are not meant to be made up in imitation of Dresden
-china, or Watteau drawings.
-
-The result of such attempts was to be seen there in the mirror. A
-great picture hat, with the flowers all anyhow. Flowers never will
-look as they ought to on my big hats--flopping about in a lop-sided
-fashion, on the crest of a draggly handful of sandy-coloured hair. It
-does not look a handful; but that is because they make me wear pads
-and frames, and all sorts of horrors, which will show through; and
-they call it sandy, though it is my private opinion that it is a sort
-of light chestnut. If they would only let me do it up in a simple
-twist, and wear it on the top of my head, I am persuaded that it would
-not look half bad, though I am aware that the colour is unusual. Under
-the floppity hat, a good-sized face, with big grey eyes, a straight
-nose, largish mouth--it is a decent shape if it is large, and the lips
-are nice ones. The freckles I do not deny; but there are not more than
-twelve or thirteen altogether, and they are principally on the left
-side of my nose. But the perspiration I was in! It made me disgusted
-to see that my skin was positively greasy, and there were beads upon
-my forehead. The truth is, I am built for work, or, at any rate, for
-plenty of hard out-of-doors exercise; and if I cannot get it, I am
-bound to be a nuisance to myself, and an object to others. Mr Morgan,
-if one of his shoulders is a little higher than the other, is an
-all-round athlete, though he was so weak as a child. It is because he
-has gone in for everything that he is now as strong as a horse. If I
-went in for everything, I believe that inside twelve months I should
-be a different person.
-
-I only wished that I had a chance of trying.
-
-When I saw what a sight I looked in that glass, and how unfitted I was
-to fill the fashion-plate _rôle_ for which they insisted on casting
-me, I did feel that some people had all the luck, while others had
-none. My chances for having a good time were slipping
-away--twenty-three is an age. The good marriage I was expected to make
-was a dream of the mater’s: as she was beginning bitterly to realise:
-unless I married Ben Morgan, which, of course, would be absurd.
-Compared with my sisters, I was not in it. Not a man would ever look
-at me when they were by, or even near. Considering that it was
-supposed to be my mission in life to attract men, it was really tragic
-what an awful failure I was. Among the dozens who were proud to call
-themselves my sisters’ friends, I doubt if there were many who even
-knew my Christian name. I was quite aware how they talked of me.
-
-“You know that youngest O’Brady girl? Sort of understudy for a
-grenadier, who looks as if she got her clothes from a dealer in
-decayed wardrobes, and put them on inside out.”
-
-“You don’t mean to say that that’s the youngest?”
-
-“She’s the youngest in years and sense; but so far as looks and that
-sort of thing is concerned, she might have come out of the ark. Can’t
-think what they call the creature.”
-
-“What does it matter what they call a girl like that?”
-
-That was part of a conversation I once overheard at a dance. The first
-speaker had been recently entrapped into having a waltz with me, which
-I doubt if he had enjoyed. I know I hadn’t--a possible explanation of
-his exceeding bitterness. But that his remarks were typical of the
-kind of thing which was being said of me on all sides I had every
-reason to suppose.
-
-What could people be expected to say of such an object as I saw before
-me in that looking-glass?
-
-“Oh,” I cried, “if only for a short time I could have my time! If I
-could only make those girls feel what I have felt--the insolence of
-masculine imbeciles, the snubs of conceited boys, the contemptuous
-impertinence of their uncles and their fathers, even of their
-grandsires! If only I could treat some of those men as all of them
-have treated me I’d give--well, it’s no use my talking about giving
-anything, because I’ve just simply nothing to give; but wouldn’t I
-like to have the chance.”
-
-I had my comb in my hand at the moment. I had torn off my hat, and was
-trying to do something to my hair, without letting it down, and taking
-my bodice off, and all the rest of the fuss which a girl has to go
-through if she wants to titivate herself. I brought the comb down bang
-whack against the dressing-table to emphasise my concluding
-aspiration.
-
-“If only every masculine thing had to fall madly in love with me at
-sight! There; now I’ve done it!”
-
-I had--broken the comb into two clear halves. And I had only had it a
-week. I cannot think how it is that my things do break so. I should
-have to buy a new one that very afternoon; though it would only be a
-shilling one, because funds were low, and combs were waste of money.
-
-As I was surveying the broken pieces with a pretty wry face--it was a
-tortoise-shell comb; I happened to know that mamma had paid
-twelve-and-six for it, to match my toilet-set; she would go on when
-she knew what had happened--I became conscious that something very odd
-indeed was taking place. On the top of the little drawers which was on
-one side of my dressing-table was half a sheet of notepaper. Just an
-ordinary half-sheet which I had torn off somebody’s letter and left
-there; I have a trick of keeping half-sheets. A second ago that
-half-sheet was blank. Now I became aware that someone--or
-something--was writing on it. I heard a faint scratching noise.
-Turning, I saw that letters were forming upon the paper--how, I cannot
-say. They appeared to be written in ink, though there were no signs of
-a pen, and certainly none of anybody holding it.
-
-It was the strangest feeling, to stand there and watch words
-apparently writing themselves upon that piece of paper. I know it
-sounds incredible, and it is incredible; but it’s true, for all that.
-It was just simply the most extraordinary thing that ever
-happened--and lots of people know that extraordinary things do happen.
-When you have lived to my time of life, and have had my experience,
-you know that as a solemn fact. Though, I repeat once more, that that
-was the most wonderful experience even I ever had.
-
-I cannot describe my sensations as I stood there watching. The two
-halves of the comb in my hands, my hair all anyhow, my bodice
-positively maddening beneath my arms, and, I was convinced, unhooked
-behind, rage in my bosom, perspiration on my brow. It was so
-frightfully mysterious; there is nothing I dislike like things I do
-not understand, they make you feel yourself so insignificant. Then the
-letters went on forming themselves before my eyes, and there I
-remained looking on like a stuck pig, until I could endure it no
-longer. I snatched up the paper, exclaiming:
-
-“What are you doing?”
-
-Though to whom I addressed the inquiry I have not the faintest notion.
-On that half-sheet of paper, staring me in the face, were the words:
-
-“Your wish shall be gratified u----”
-
-The sentence ended with the letter “u,” just that, and nothing more.
-It seemed that I had snatched it up before it was finished, so that
-what the conclusion would have been was still another mystery. Though,
-beside the first and chief mystery of how those words came there at
-all, other considerations were but trifles. What did they mean? “Your
-wish shall be gratified u----” What wish? I was continually wishing. I
-never have anything, and nothing ever happens that I really want, so
-it is only natural. To what wish was the reference made? For what
-particular thing had I been wishing recently?
-
-Why--not a minute ago--with what wild words had I been easing my mind?
-In my temper--my usual temper. I certainly am the worst-tempered girl
-I ever met, though I believe that, as a rule, girls are worse tempered
-than men--they have more cause to be, poor things. In some things it
-is horrid being a girl--what was it I had said? Something about every
-masculine creature tumbling head over heels in love with me at sight.
-Had I not wished that that fate were mine?
-
-Was that the wish? No; absurd! ridiculous! preposterous! What could
-put such nonsensical thoughts into my head? It just showed, when your
-head was empty, what stuff could get in. But--still----
-
-My gracious! If that was the wish which was to be gratified, would it
-not be--wouldn’t it just be larks.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IV.
- THE EPISODE OF THE BAKER’S BOY
-
-As I continued wondering, with the paper still in my hand, mamma’s
-voice called to me outside the door.
-
-“Norah! there’s the baker at the door; you must go and take in the
-bread.”
-
-“Mamma!” I exclaimed.
-
-“You must. Jane said she would come back for tea, but she hasn’t put
-in an appearance yet. Somebody must go, and I can’t, and your sisters
-are dressing; you ought to be ready by now; you must do those errands.
-There, he’s knocking again--go down to him at once!”
-
-I obeyed. Did my hair somehow, crammed my hat on anyhow, and down the
-stairs I went. A pretty task to set me! Down the kitchen stairs I
-hurried, to the area door, on the glass window of which vigorous
-knuckles were beating a sort of tattoo. The moment I opened it I was
-greeted in the most surprising way.
-
-“Now then, slowcoach, you seem to take some time a-washing of
-yourself! Think I’ve got nothing else to do except keep on a-waiting
-here all day?”
-
-I was astonished. I fancy, when he saw me, that the speaker was
-astonished too, though he scarcely showed it in a manner which I
-thought fitting.
-
-“Hollo! beg pardon! my crikey! Are you the new young lady?”
-
-Evidently this was a person who needed a good deal of freezing. I
-wondered that even Jane had not succeeded in snubbing him into better
-manners. I assumed my most dignified bearing--which is not saying
-much, for dignity is not my strongest point--and was as frigid as the
-fact that my actual temperature was somewhere about boiling point
-permitted.
-
-“Please give me the bread.”
-
-“That’s all right! I’ll give it you with the very greatest pleasure;
-and I’d like to give you something else as well.”
-
-And before I could stop him, this remarkable individual was off at a
-gallop on a line which was distinctly his very own.
-
-“My name’s Bob Stevens. I’ve been walking out with the young lady what
-was here before you. She left yesterday; cruel hard they treated her;
-no young lady couldn’t have stood it what had any spirit. This is a
-nice place, this is--five scratch-catting young women, and an old
-geeser of a mother. It won’t suit you; you’ll leave at the end of your
-month, they all of them do.”
-
-That was an outrageous falsehood. Some of our servants have stopped
-with us more than a year. But it was impossible for me to contradict
-him.
-
-“But Eliza--that’s the young lady I was a-telling you about--ain’t
-quite my fancy. And if so be as you haven’t got a young man just at
-present, or if you was a-feeling a bit off colour with the one you
-have got, why, I’d be proud and happy to fill the situation. I’m
-getting good money--five-and-twenty bob a week without perks”--I
-suppose he meant perquisites--“besides money in the bank, and a few
-sticks towards a home, including a drawing-room settee in sky-blue
-satin what I got from a friend of mine whose wife hooked off with
-another bloke. You just tell me your night out, and I’ll be there on
-time, you bet your hat--and a beauty it is, regular market-garden I
-call it--and if we don’t fix the day before we part, it won’t be no
-fault of mine. I mean business, I do, straight.”
-
-Anything like that person’s volubility I never encountered. I could
-not stop him. I seldom am ready of speech, and before that baker’s boy
-I felt tongue-tied. Not the least amazing part of it was that he
-seemed a mere lad of, at the outside, eighteen years, with a fresh
-complexion, and, I should have said, a babe for innocence. It shows
-how deceptive appearances are. At last I could get a word in edgeways,
-and I got it.
-
-“I think you are mistaken.”
-
-But he cut me short.
-
-“Not much, I’m not. I’m not that sort of chap. Never make mistakes, I
-don’t--at least, not of that kind. I know when I like a girl as well
-as any man; and I tell you, honest, that I never was so gone on a
-young lady as I am on you.”
-
-“I still think you are mistaken, because I happen to be one of the
-five scratch-catting young women you alluded to. I am Miss Norah
-O’Brady.”
-
-Some baker’s boys would have been abashed, but he was not. He retained
-his presence of mind in a fashion I could not have equalled. And,
-really, for a person in his position, he was not bad-looking.
-
-“Lor’, now, if I didn’t think you was a real lady! You’d have been
-took for a real lady by almost anyone. You look it--every inch. A
-regular queen you look. You’ll excuse me, miss, for seeming to make so
-free; but, however humble a man may be, he’s still a man.”
-
-“Please give me the bread.”
-
-He began cramming loaves and things in paper bags into my arms in a
-manner which I found embarrassing, talking all the time.
-
-“If there’s any mortal thing that I can do for you, no matter what it
-is, you’ve only got to name it, and you can consider it done. What’s
-more, I’m on to get you any blessed thing you want, from the Lord
-Mayor’s coach to----”
-
-I did not wait for him to explain to what--I presume his remarks were
-tailing off into metaphor--but, withdrawing into the passage, I shut
-the door in his face, taking the precaution to turn the key.
-
-It was well I did, because he instantly tried the handle, and, when he
-found it would not yield, rapping at the frosted glass panels, he
-addressed me from without:
-
-“Excuse me, miss, for one single moment, but would you allow me to
-say----”
-
-I should have thought that permission to say anything was the last
-thing he would have required. Anyhow, I did not give it.
-
-Depositing the articles he had just given me on the kitchen table, I
-marched upstairs. At the top I met mamma.
-
-“Norah, what do you mean by carrying on an animated conversation with
-the baker’s man?” I carrying on an animated conversation! My share in
-it had been small. “What an extraordinary creature you are. Your
-cheeks look as if they were positively burning.”
-
-Hers would have looked the same if she had borne my part in the scene
-which had just been enacted. But I said nothing.
-
-“You must go and do those errands at once, your sisters are waiting.
-Be as quick as you decently can, and please, if possible, forget
-nothing.”
-
-She gave me no time to compose myself, but opening the front door with
-her own hands ushered me through it, as if I were some bothering
-visitor whom she was in a dreadful hurry to see the last of.
-
-As I might have expected, that baker’s boy was still there. He had
-hardly had time to take himself off with his barrow. But that was no
-reason why he should plant himself right in the centre of the
-pavement, and address me, the moment I appeared, as if I had been an
-equal, with mamma looking down at us from the open door.
-
-“Excuse me, miss, if I seem to take a liberty, but might I ask you if
-you was fond of chocolate creams?”
-
-I held my head a trifle higher than I might have done if mamma had not
-been up there, because I _am_ fond of chocolate creams, though what
-business it was of his I cannot think--and I annihilated him finally:
-
-“If you attempt to speak to me again I shall report you to your
-master, and you will find yourself without a situation.”
-
-I marched off and left him standing in a preposterous and most
-unseemly attitude--his great basket at his side--as if glued to the
-paving-stones. And I heard him mutter:
-
-“Cruel as the grave--and cold.”
-
-That ridiculous, insolent boy--he was nothing else--positively heaved
-a sigh which followed me like a gust of wind, with mamma still at the
-top of the front-door steps.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER V.
- THE FURTHER EPISODES OF THE SHOP-WALKER AND THE ARTIST IN HAIR
-
-As I marched along--remembering mamma’s instructions to be as quick
-as I “decently” could, without, however, laying too much stress upon
-the “decently”--I became aware of something unusual--people were
-staring, especially male people.
-
-Now I have been stared at in the street, but I do not remember that it
-was ever in what you could exactly call a flattering way.
-
-There can be no doubt that my person is a striking one, after a
-fashion; but it is not precisely in the fashion. I am an extra large
-size all over. My legs are prodigious. I stride along in a style which
-some persons have said reminds them of the gentleman with the
-seven-league boots. Mr Morgan was once rude enough to tell me that it
-always seemed to him that it was the chief ambition of my life to
-cross Regent Street in a step and a-half. When I am walking with the
-others I suffer agonies, and I am thankful to think that they are not
-altogether comfortable. They take about three steps to the yard--the
-kind of shoes they wear won’t permit of anything else. And at such a
-pace! I cannot keep up with them; and it is some satisfaction to know
-they cannot keep up with me. We jangle and wrangle all the time, until
-at last I go off by myself; and then we are happy. At least, I know I
-am.
-
-This peculiarity of mine--because, I suppose, it is a peculiarity--has
-more than once been commented on by perfect strangers. I once heard
-one street boy remark to another, just as I was passing:
-
-“What yer, Bill! ’ere comes the lady grenadier! Can’t she move
-’em!--and ain’t she got ’em to move!”
-
-Another time a dreadful creature asked of a companion:
-
-“I wonder if that young lady’s got stilts underneath her clothes? They
-can’t be all her own.”
-
-That was the sort of staring I had been used to. But this was
-different. Men of all sorts, of all ages, turned and looked at me.
-When their eyes reached my face, there was something in them which I
-did not altogether like. It gave me a curious sensation. I have seen
-men stare at the others with something like that look in their eyes. I
-wondered if they liked it. I was not by any means sure I did. Anyhow,
-I was not accustomed to that kind of thing. I wondered what they meant
-by it.
-
-It was not any better when I reached the draper’s. The shop-walker
-opened the door for me--with such a smile. He was one of those pretty
-fellows, with moustache turned up at the ends, who really are most
-trying. His smile seemed to be a fixture. It kept growing larger and
-larger, and, I presume, sweeter. I hate your pretty fellows. I should
-like my man to be almost ugly; indeed, I should not mind if he was
-quite. I spoke to him in the most snubby fashion I could command,
-perceiving that this was another case in which snubbing might be
-required. There seemed to be something in the air that afternoon which
-made men behave in a most unusual manner.
-
-“I want to see some lady’s hose!”
-
-“For yourself?”
-
-There was something in the way he put the question for which I really
-could have hit him. What did it matter to him who they were for? He
-led me to a counter behind which there was the usual girl, and on
-which there was a box full of silk things--such colours! He began to
-spread them out in front of me, with a smile for which I would have
-liked to stick a pin into him.
-
-“Now, here is something particularly smart. I am sure it would suit
-you--pure silk; guaranteed--were fifteen-and-six, are
-eight-and-eleven. Amazing value. But you shall have them for--” he
-hesitated--“for one-and-ninepence-halfpenny. Indeed, it would afford
-me the greatest pleasure to give them to you.”
-
-When he said that, the girl behind the counter stared; and I stared,
-too. Was he mad? Was he seriously proposing to present me--free,
-gratis, for nothing--with his master’s silk stockings? The man must
-have been drinking. I froze him.
-
-“Thank you. The articles are not required by myself. And, if you don’t
-mind, I would rather that this young lady served me.” I turned to the
-young lady in question, who was wearing a peculiar look. “I want a
-pair of brown silk stockings, that shade”; and I handed her Lilian’s
-matching.
-
-While the girl was endeavouring to find what I wanted, that
-shop-walker continued to pester me. And not only so, but the
-shop-walker from the opposite counter came and joined his attentions
-to the other’s, pressing on me the most ridiculous things. When I
-severely snubbed them both, they began to smile at one another. We
-were the centre of observation, alike to customers and assistants.
-
-I was delighted to get out of the shop with Lilian’s stockings at
-last. I made no attempt to get Audrey’s ribbon. And I would have gone
-straight off home without Doris’s fringe-nets, had I dared; but I did
-not dare. Morrel’s was close at hand; practically on the way, and if I
-had returned without them, there would not only have been a tremendous
-disturbance, but they would probably have sent me back again.
-
-The worst of it was that I disliked Morrel’s. I loathe hairdressers.
-They always seem to regard women as so many dummies, or, at least,
-lay-figures, of whom they can make anything they please. I am
-convinced that they despise us. What else can you expect? Thousands
-and thousands of us owe all our charms to them. They give countless
-women their complexions, their eyebrows--indeed, to all intents and
-purposes, their entire faces. Hundreds of thousands owe all their hair
-to them. Their little flirty curls, on pins, for all sorts of
-occasions--Lilian has rows of them, stuck on sheets of cork, like
-butterflies--their fringes, coils, switches, transformations, their
-entire wigs, not to speak of the foundations on which they build. Then
-think of the dyes, restorers, so-called washes, curling fluids, and
-all that kind of thing. Oh, dear! The girls spend heaps of money at
-Morrel’s. I believe that mamma would just as soon die as do without
-such places.
-
-Why I particularly objected to Morrel’s was because there they were
-always at me to do as the others did; and I know that, in their
-politely insolent way, they jeered at me because I refused. Mr Morrel
-himself was a horror--a little, stoutish man, with his scanty,
-light-brown hair curled in rows. He reeked of perfume. I would far
-sooner have sat in a third-class smoking-carriage, full of
-horny-handed sons of toil, all “blowing” shag--I believe that that’s
-the proper word--than have occupied a chair next to him. And he, in
-his heart, I knew, despised me; first, for belonging to such a
-barber’s block family, and then for refusing to allow him to practise
-any of his arts to supply the charms which I was quite aware that I so
-plentifully lacked.
-
-When I entered the shop, I found that he was alone in it. I was
-disgusted. He stood simpering behind his glass cases, twiddling a
-frightfully blonde curl, to which he was giving some finishing touches
-on its pin. As a rule, there was a young woman in the shop--with such
-a head of hair. It was never done twice in the same style; daily
-visits in search of packets of hairpins would have been as good as a
-course of hairdressing lessons--not to speak of his wife, who always
-seemed somewhere about. His special business was to look after the
-hairdressing rooms.
-
-As he saw it was I, I believe he was going to ring for his assistant.
-It was beneath his dignity to personally attend on me. But, as he
-continued to look at me, on a sudden, he changed his mind. I was
-persuaded that, as it were, a wave of emotion crept over him; all at
-once he altered so completely. His simper assumed the dimensions of a
-beam. Putting his fingers to his oily hair, he regarded me in a manner
-which, whatever he might think to the contrary, far from became him.
-
-“And what may I do for you, Miss O’Brady?”
-
-“I want half-a-dozen fringe-nets for my sister Doris. She says that
-you know the shade.”
-
-“And what do you want for yourself, Miss Norah?”
-
-“Nothing, thank you. Will you please give them me as quickly as you
-can. I’m in a hurry.”
-
-He put his head on one side like an owl. It was idiotic.
-
-“Ah, Miss Norah, I am afraid that you despise my art. You are yourself
-so beautiful that you do not stand in need of it.”
-
-“Are you aware what you are saying? Kindly give me those fringe-nets.”
-
-“Yet I also am an artist. As many perfect pictures are the work of my
-fingers as you will find upon the walls of an Academy.”
-
-“I never said they weren’t.”
-
-“But, Miss Norah, you have towards me an air of aloofness. Yet I am
-more essential to a woman than her milliner--than her costumier. What
-is the most perfect toilette with an indifferent coiffure. Even beauty
-cannot safely scorn me. If you will do me the inestimable honour of
-entrusting your lovely head to me for a few brief minutes I do not
-think you will regret it when you perceive the result. It is true that
-nature has given you hair which is perfect in texture, exquisite in
-colour----”
-
-“Mr Morrel, do you know what you are saying?”
-
-Mamma had told me over and over again that Morrel had assured her that
-nothing could be done with my hair if I refused to have it
-“tinted”--which I always had refused, and always should refuse to
-permit. He had as good as hinted that, from his point of view, its
-colour was an atrocity, an outrage! Now he had the assurance to tell
-me, to my face, that he thought it exquisite. And he was not to be put
-down either.
-
-“I, of all men in England, should know what I am saying on a subject
-on which I, among all my compeers, am best qualified to speak. As an
-artist there is no one living who is worthy to hold a comb with me. It
-were false modesty to pretend the contrary. As a lad I was a lightning
-shaver; I could remove a stubborn beard with an ease which was a
-rapture to its wearer. I was scarcely out of my apprenticeship when,
-on two occasions, I won first prizes in the National Competition in
-Artistic Hairdressing. I should have undoubtedly won a third, if for
-originality alone--the originality of my ideas has always been
-admitted--had not a cabal--all leaders of art become, sooner or later,
-the victims of a cabal--had not a cabal, I say, actuated by motives on
-which I will not enlarge, bestowed my prize upon a mere pretender. The
-desert they could not alienate. It was notorious.”
-
-“This is very interesting, Mr Morrel; but would you mind giving me my
-sister’s fringe-nets?”
-
-“One moment, Miss Norah, if you please. You continue to regard me with
-a scorn which blights. An artist’s is a sensitive soul. I implore you
-not to flash the arrows of your disdain in the tender target of my
-heart!”
-
-“I shall tell mamma, Mr Morrel, if you talk to me like that. Will you
-give me my sister’s fringe-nets?”
-
-“I will; certainly I will. After all, I am a man of business. Let me
-not forget it, even at such a moment as this. But, at the same time,
-let me prove to you that I am not only commercial. Let me entreat your
-personal acceptance of some trifle in evidence. For instance, this
-handglass, in its way a gem. Held at the proper angle it will give you
-a view of your back hair, the clarity of which will surprise you.”
-
-“Thank you, Mr Morrel; but I don’t want a handglass.”
-
-“Then this manicure set, mounted in gold. Its constant use might
-embellish even your hands--if it be possible to paint the lily.”
-
-It made me so cross to hear him, when, all the while, he probably knew
-that it is only with anguish that I can cram my hands into
-six-and-threequarters.
-
-“I want nothing except my sister’s fringe-nets. Will you, or will you
-not, give them to me?”
-
-“Your coldness scorches me, if I may use a seeming paradox. In the
-most literal sense I will give them to you. Permit me to present you
-with six fringe-nets, for the use of Miss Doris O’Brady.”
-
-“My sister tells me that you charge her a shilling each for them. Here
-is half-a-sovereign. Please give me the change.”
-
-“I will not give you the change, nor will I take your half-sovereign.
-Do you wish to grind me beneath your heel--to insult me?”
-
-“Insult you!”
-
-“The fringe-nets are a present to you for your sister, since you will
-accept nothing for yourself--unless, at the eleventh hour, you will
-permit me to add the manicure set and the handglass.”
-
-“I think, Mr Morrel, that you must be suffering from something this
-afternoon. Do you suppose, for one single instant, that either my
-sister or I wishes you to give us our fringe-nets? I insist upon
-paying for them.”
-
-“You cannot. It is impossible. I decline to allow you to pay for
-them.”
-
-“What’s that you decline to allow?”
-
-Mrs Morrel’s appearance in the shop I hailed with a sensation of real
-relief.
-
-“Mrs Morrel, I want six fringe-nets, and, for some reason or other, Mr
-Morrel won’t let me pay for one. They’re six shillings, and I want him
-to take for them out of this half-sovereign, and he won’t.”
-
-“Give me the half-sovereign. I’ll soon make that right.”
-
-Her husband interposed, or tried to:
-
-“My dear, I must ask you not to intrude between this young lady and
-myself.”
-
-She cut him relentlessly short.
-
-“Here is your change, Miss O’Brady; and here are the fringe-nets.”
-
-“Thank you. Good-afternoon.”
-
-He tried again.
-
-“My dear, I am master in my own shop, and you must permit me to
-state----”
-
-I did not wait to hear what it was that he wished to state. I had
-heard more than enough of his statements already. Insincere,
-smooth-tongued, artificial creature! I had had no idea that he was so
-horrid, though I had known that he was horrid enough. I left the shop
-with the fringe-nets in one hand and the change in the other; and I
-make no doubt that directly my back was turned an animated discussion
-commenced as to who was and who was not master there, and how far that
-mastery went. Had I been Mrs Morrel I would have made it clear to her
-objectionable husband, when it came to presenting the stock to casual
-female customers, that his mastery ceased before it reached that
-point.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VI.
- MISS NORAH FEELS ODD
-
-It was more than humiliating to be the cause of dissension between a
-hairdresser and his wife, not to speak of that shop-walker’s eccentric
-behaviour. And I did feel so strange, so topsy-turveyish. As if
-something had got into my veins and set them all of a glow. Ordinarily
-I am convinced that I should have slaughtered Mr Morrel, and the
-shop-walker, and the baker’s boy. But, somehow, that afternoon,
-although I knew that I ought to be shocked, and amazed, and furious, I
-could not be either of the three to anything like the extent which I
-was well aware I ought to have been. For some extraordinary reason I
-seemed almost to feel that it was quite natural that male creatures in
-their position of life should behave to me in what, to say the least,
-was a peculiar way. It was a dreadful thought, but I appeared to be
-possessed by a sort of consciousness that every man I met was drawn
-towards me by a sort of magnetic influence which both he and I well
-knew was irresistible. It was an extremely novel sensation, and not a
-very agreeable one either.
-
-When I reached home I saw mamma watching for me through the
-drawing-room window. It was she who opened the door.
-
-“So you have returned at last. And this time I hope you have brought
-everything!”
-
-“Except Audrey’s ribbon. She will have to manage with what she has.”
-
-“And why have you not brought that?”
-
-“Because I did not propose to be insulted any further.”
-
-“Insulted! Norah! What do you mean?”
-
-“It’s of no consequence. Audrey will be able to manage very well
-without it. I know her. She has probably dozens of yards of ribbon
-already of just the kind she wants; only she thinks it’s too much
-trouble to look for it.”
-
-Mamma eyed me doubtfully, as if she could not make me out. I should
-have been surprised if she could. I was not only beyond her
-comprehension, I was beyond my own. After a momentary pause she went
-on:
-
-“Lilian has received a telegram from Mr Rumford, to say that he is
-calling this afternoon to ask her to come out with him this evening.
-Possibly he intends to say something decisive. Jane has returned, but
-Lilian is preparing, and you know that she doesn’t like to be hurried,
-and I have to change my dress, and as he may come at any moment if we
-are not ready you will have to receive him.”
-
-“Mamma! Why can’t one of the others do that? You know I’m not very
-fond of Mr Rumford, and I’m sure he doesn’t like me.”
-
-“Don’t talk nonsense! It’s not a question of like or dislike, you will
-do as I wish, he doesn’t come to see you. Audrey and Doris rather
-expect that Mr Carter and Mr Purchase may drop in to tea, so they are
-changing. Eveleen has a slight headache, and is lying down; she thinks
-it possible that sometime during the afternoon Mr Hammond may call,
-and she wants to be well enough to receive him. So until some of us
-are ready you will have to act as hostess.”
-
-“In this attire?”
-
-“You will have no time to change; somebody may come at any second; and
-I tell you again that they’re not coming to see you. You know very
-well that no one ever looks at you, whatever you have on. But run
-upstairs and get your hat off, and some of that unbecoming colour off
-your face, and do try to look decent.”
-
-I obeyed her.
-
-As I went upstairs I was conscious of some most singular sensations,
-nearly approaching to forebodings. It was absurd, yet at the bottom of
-my heart I suspected that if they only could have guessed, none of
-them would have asked me to receive those men. If disaster followed,
-their feelings would be beyond description, while the fault would
-certainly not be mine.
-
-I was just entering my room when mamma called out to me.
-
-“By the way, Norah, if Major Tibbet should come before I am ready keep
-him as much amused as possible. You know how impatient he is, and how
-easily bored; but I won’t be an instant longer than I can help.”
-
-So Major Tibbet was coming also! There was evidently going to be a
-crowd of them as usual; though, as mamma had been careful to observe,
-none of them ever came to see me. But, on this occasion, it was
-remotely possible that a change might come o’er the spirit of the
-scene. Something within me seemed to hint at it.
-
-As for Major Paul Tibbet, he was one of my pet abominations. An
-unsoldierly old man, painted, padded, and wigged. I should think that
-when he had got all off that he had put on there was nothing left of
-him but a mere husk. And so conceited! He talked of nothing else but
-women, and his conquests of them. It was nauseous. What mamma could
-see in him was beyond my comprehension. Yet it had dawned on me more
-and more, and the others had dropped hints, that if he asked her she
-might become Mrs Tibbet, and present us with a new papa. What a
-prospect! That made-up relic, whom I could have picked up and swung
-over my head with one hand, my papa! I remembered my father as a tall,
-handsome man, brave to the point of recklessness, who had broken his
-neck while hunting. That anyone could dream of substituting that
-effigy for him! I gathered that he had a deal of money. I fear that
-mamma is not so indifferent to that consideration as she might be.
-
-Once inside my room I gave way to a most odd mixture of despondency
-and exultation. What had happened to me? What did this odd something
-inside me which seemed as if it would like to start me dancing, mean?
-Where did it come from? How? And why? What was the explanation of the
-singular behaviour of those men; of all those men? I could have cried,
-if I had not felt so disposed to laugh. It was most confusing.
-
-On the dressing-table was the scrap of paper on which those mysterious
-words had been so mysteriously written. I had left it there when I
-went out. Could they have had anything to do with the eccentricities
-of those ridiculous men? My common-sense--I have common-sense, and
-plenty of it; it is my strongest point--told me that the mere notion
-was nonsense. In some way or other I had been the victim of my own
-imagination, though until then I was not aware that I had any to be
-the victim of. I am not an imaginative being. I declare I am not.
-Quite the other way. Still it stood to reason that I could not have
-seen those words coming on the paper in the way I had supposed. They
-must have been there before. And I had been a silly. I caught up the
-half-sheet, meaning to tear it into pieces for having made me make
-such a goose of myself.
-
-But I could not. Something seemed to take me by the wrists and prevent
-me. I let the paper drop from between my fingers in a flutter of
-amazement. I looked at the glass in front of me. Could this be myself
-that I was looking at? Then I certainly was not so ill-looking as I
-had supposed. I might be big, but I was striking. My cheeks were aglow
-with health. My lips parted in a radiant smile, for which I could have
-kissed myself. The whitest of white teeth shone through them. My eyes
-laughed back at me in a fashion which set all my pulses beating.
-Ill-looking, with eyes like those? What rubbish people would talk!
-They were alive with all sorts of things, two of the daintiest, most
-mischievous, frankest, tenderest, dancing lures which were ever set in
-a woman’s head. Why, the freckles on my nose positively set them off.
-
-Really, as I observed the reflection in that mirror I was not at all
-surprised at the conduct of those men. There was some excuse for them,
-after all. No woman might see it, but I was sure that other men would
-quickly. One woman is slow to see what it is in another woman which
-attracts a man. But I knew then. No man, and no boy either who was
-even in the neighbourhood of manhood, could meet those eyes
-without--well, without feeling some sort of a sensation. I was
-perfectly sure that he could not.
-
-I put my hands up to my face, and laughed!--and actually blushed! It
-was so very odd. And so amusing! I felt--it is difficult to describe
-exactly--but I was twittering from head to foot, as with a
-consciousness of suddenly acquired powers which made me--I do not know
-precisely what word to use, but I will write it irresponsible. I was
-more than half-ashamed. I doubted if it was a proper feeling for a
-girl to have. At twenty-three one ought to be discreet.
-
-Suddenly the door opened and Doris put her head in. She was in her
-petticoat, and her hair all down.
-
-“Norah! Whatever are you figuring about before the glass for like
-that? Mr Purchase and Mr Carter are coming down the street; go to the
-drawing-room at once. Audrey and I will race down as fast as ever we
-can, but you must go this moment.”
-
-She just said that, and was off again. It was as well she was, the
-idea of her catching me like that made me go a peony-red all over. I
-am not in the habit of “figuring about” before a looking-glass, and
-nobody can say I am.
-
-So Mr Purchase and Mr Carter were coming down the street? I felt,
-well, I am afraid that I felt delighted. If Doris had only known I
-doubt if she would have been so anxious that I should hurry down. They
-were two of the very nicest boys we know, and had behaved quite
-decently even to me. They were sometimes apt to treat me in a free and
-easy, brotherly sort of fashion which I rather liked. So far as I
-could see there was no nonsense about them whatever. They were
-inseparable chums, kind of David and Jonathan, and always hunted in
-couples.
-
-Jack Purchase was supposed to be a barrister, but so far as I could
-see the only thing he really did was to make ardent love to Doris. He
-was tolerably well off, but Doris was a desperate flirt and led him a
-tremendous dance. I believe that in her heart she more than liked him,
-but it seemed as if she was incapable of owning as much to any man. So
-many men had been over head and ears in love with her that I suppose
-she had come to think that it would be undignified to admit any
-feeling of the kind for one of them. Mamma was very anxious to get her
-off, and would have liked nothing better than to have had Mr Purchase
-as a son-in-law. But Doris did not care a snap of the fingers for what
-mamma said, and her partisanship rather damaged him in her eyes, if
-anything. She was a contrary little wretch.
-
-Basil Carter was nothing at all, except a young gentleman of means. He
-was very keen to be a statesman, or a Member of Parliament, or
-whatever it is. He had tried to get in twice and had failed each time,
-but declared that the third time he meant to succeed. I hoped he
-would; though, for my part, I cannot see why anyone should wish to be
-a ridiculous M.P. I have met lots of them. They are most of them
-sillies, though some of them think themselves tin gods. I don’t know
-why. They only talk, and most of them cannot do that with decency.
-Nearly all the few things they do do they do all wrong, and had much
-better have left undone.
-
-He has a most lovely yacht. He once took us all a cruise in it. I
-enjoyed it immensely, but the others did not. I do not understand how
-it is that some people are ill at sea; it seems so unnatural. Mamma
-always takes a private cabin, and is down in it before the boat
-starts, even when she is only crossing to Calais.
-
-He is passionately in love with Audrey. I know it as a fact, because
-once he as good as told me so. But Audrey is a most difficult girl.
-She is imaginative if you like. I believe that she spends her time
-imagining herself the wife of a clever man, though what is her idea of
-cleverness is more than I can say. Several men, who are allowed to be
-not only clever in their own estimation, have asked her to marry, but
-she has invariably said no. Physically, she is disgracefully lazy, and
-loves to languish, but, mentally, she is sharp as a razor. No matter
-how clever the man may be who gets her, he will find that she is, at
-least, his match, and that he could not have had anyone more certain
-to help him in making his mark in the world. And she is so lovely, and
-in the very depths of her, deliciously sweet.
-
-All the same, although they knew quite well what those two boys felt
-for them, and their own charms had been proved to be nearly
-irresistible over and over again, if they could only have guessed what
-had happened to me, neither Audrey nor Doris would have been quite
-easy in their minds as I descended the stairs with my most stately
-air--which was not saying much, for all the while I was longing to
-dance right down them--to welcome the approaching callers.
-
-Directly I was in the drawing-room something tickled me again, so that
-I burst out laughing, and had to put up my hand to hide my blushes.
-What could it be that was about to happen? And at that moment there
-came a rat-tat-tat at the hall-door, and, presently, Jane was ushering
-in the visitors.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VII.
- MISS NORAH RECEIVES TWO GENTLEMEN
-
-Mr Purchase came first, with Mr Carter close on his heels. I stood
-about the centre of the room, as prim as you please, just wondering.
-Each of them had some flowers in his hand, Mr Purchase red roses, and
-Mr Carter pink. Somehow those young men scarcely ever came to the
-house without bringing roses. No matter what the season, you might be
-almost positive that they would have, at any rate, half-a-dozen
-rosebuds. In their time Doris and Audrey must have had enough flowers
-to make a good-sized haystack. No one ever brings me any.
-
-They came into the room with a sort of look of expectation on their
-faces. When they perceived me they gave a look round, and when they
-saw I was alone their expression changed entirely. It was comical. A
-friendly, free and easy smile took its place.
-
-“Hullo, Norah!” exclaimed Mr Purchase. “Nobody here?”
-
-It was not a very civil way of greeting one; but I knew that it was
-not intended to bear quite the construction which might be put on it.
-Both boys had a way of addressing me as Norah, especially when I was
-alone with them, though they always dignify the others with the prefix
-“Miss.” I observed that most men, when they condescended to notice me
-at all, were more than a trifle unceremonious in their fashion of
-speech. Often I did not altogether like it. It was not pleasant to
-hear a man speak to your sister as if she were a duchess, and then to
-you as if you were a mixture of a cousin and a housemaid. But somehow
-from these two I did not mind it so much as from others. It was,
-perhaps, because they always meant to be friendly, and were never
-actually rude.
-
-However, I suppose that just then I was feeling a little superior, so
-I put my nose up in the air, and was nasty.
-
-“I am sorry that there is no one here--at least, no one of the
-slightest consequence.”
-
-I fancy that both my words and my manner took them both aback. I
-believe that Mr Purchase nearly started.
-
-“I say, it isn’t fair to trip up a chap like that. I’m sure----”
-
-Of what he was sure I shall probably never know, because when he had
-got as far as that, for the first time he really looked at me. When he
-did he did not exactly start. But his expression changed quite as
-suddenly as it had done before, and in a more surprising manner. I
-never saw such a look upon a person’s face. And not the least curious
-part of it was that I was conscious that a precisely similar change
-had taken place in Mr Carter’s countenance.
-
-They are neither of them bad-looking, only Mr Carter is brown, and Mr
-Purchase black; and I am inclined to think that a dark, intellectual
-face mirrors its owner’s emotions in an almost uncanny degree,
-although, when I began to grasp the details of Mr Carter’s
-physiognomy, I was not sure that your brown-haired people are very far
-behind. The amazement and delight which had all at once come into Mr
-Carter’s blue eyes was positively bewildering. He was a little behind
-his friend, and I suspect him of having had no desire to come to the
-front while I was the only person there, yet, all in an instant he had
-passed him, and planted himself in front of me.
-
-“Miss Norah, here are some flowers.”
-
-He held out the pink roses with an air which set me all of a flutter.
-
-“I see there are. You always bring such pretty roses. Audrey is very
-lucky.”
-
-“They are for you.”
-
-“For me?”
-
-Before he could answer, Mr Purchase was at his side, with his flowers
-extended.
-
-“May I hope, Miss Norah, that you will do me the honour to accept
-mine. They are not so pretty, perhaps, as others, and are far from
-being worthy your acceptance, yet I hope that, of your kindness, you
-will not refuse.”
-
-I had never had such a speech addressed to me in all my life by
-anyone; and now that it should come from Jack Purchase, of all people
-in the world. Small wonder that for the moment the only thing I was
-fit for was to gasp. I looked from one to the other like a sort of
-gaping idiot, and I certainly had abundant excuse for looking nothing
-better. There, within six inches of me on one side was Basil Carter,
-holding out the pink roses which, I was convinced, he had brought for
-Audrey; and within five-and-a-half inches of me on the other side was
-Mr Purchase, protruding, in a most suggestive style, the red roses I
-was perfectly sure he had brought for Doris.
-
-“It isn’t fair of you to laugh at me,” I managed to get out at last.
-
-“Laugh!” cried Mr Carter, with an air of the most innocent surprise.
-“How laugh? I hope you do not think that I am laughing at you? I
-should not dare.”
-
-Should not dare! That was awfully good, considering how he had laughed
-at me times without number, as he knew as well as I did.
-
-“I don’t know what you call it then, pretending to offer me those
-flowers.”
-
-“Pretending! Miss Norah, I beg you will not call it pretence, when it
-is my earnest hope that you will receive them from my hands.”
-
-“You know perfectly well that you brought them for Audrey.”
-
-Before he could speak Mr Purchase spoke for him.
-
-“My dear Basil, Miss Norah is quite correct; you yourself confided to
-me that they were designed for Miss Audrey. If, however, Miss Norah,
-you will deign to accept these red roses they will have reached their
-proper destination.”
-
-“It isn’t fair of you, Mr Purchase; as if I didn’t know that they were
-meant for Doris.”
-
-This time it was Mr Carter who interposed.
-
-“That certainly is the case, my dear Jack. You are yourself aware that
-at your request I this morning ordered some red roses for Miss Doris
-O’Brady, and that these are they.”
-
-“A man is at liberty to change his mind.”
-
-“Under certain circumstances.”
-
-“A fact of which I avail myself to beg your acceptance of these roses,
-Miss Norah.”
-
-“I would entreat Miss Norah to extend her condescension to these poor
-buds of mine.”
-
-“My dear Basil, you are merely imitative.”
-
-“The imitation comes from you. It was I who first besought Miss Norah
-to take pity on my poor roses.”
-
-“Really, Basil, you must excuse me, but you force me to point out once
-more--as Miss Norah has done already--that you brought those flowers
-for Miss Audrey. It’s no use pretending that you didn’t.”
-
-“I pretend nothing; let me advise you also to avoid pretence. Is there
-any valid reason why we should not join in requesting Miss Norah’s
-acceptance of both our little nosegays?”
-
-“Not a bad idea, if Miss Norah will only so far honour us.”
-
-“Not if I know it; I haven’t quite lost my senses, even if you have.”
-
-They seemed startled, even hurt. Mr Purchase, in particular, shivered
-almost as if I had struck him.
-
-“Do you think that I wish to get into trouble by accepting other
-people’s property?”
-
-“You scarcely state the case correctly, Miss Norah, if you will
-forgive my saying so. Up to the present moment the nosegays are our
-property--ours.”
-
-“Then, so far as I am concerned, they will continue to remain your
-property--and, in any case, I should decline to accept what was
-originally intended for another.”
-
-“Then all that remains for me is to throw my poor flowers out of the
-window.”
-
-“The fireplace is good enough for mine.”
-
-Off strode Mr Purchase towards the window and Mr Carter towards the
-fireplace. I stopped them.
-
-“How can you be so ridiculous?”
-
-“It is to avoid being made ridiculous that I propose to deposit them
-in the gutter. If you will not deign to overlook their too obvious
-unworthiness, then let them suffer the extremity of shame, and be the
-sharers of my humiliation.”
-
-“I want nothing which you despise, so here go my rosebuds into the
-grate.”
-
-Off they strode again; again I stopped them.
-
-“Rather than that you should behave in that foolish and wicked
-way--treating those lovely flowers so cruelly--I will take both your
-nosegays. Though, mind you, if you don’t understand, I do--my doing so
-is the height of absurdity.”
-
-Before I had finished speaking both of them came rushing at me, and
-there was I standing with Doris’ red roses in my right hand and
-Audrey’s pink in my left. I scarcely knew whether to laugh or cry, the
-situation was so surprising. What those two girls would say when they
-appeared upon the scene--as I momentarily expected that they would
-do--I did not even dare to think. And those two boys allowed me no
-chance to collect my thoughts, and try to see my way out of the muddle
-into which they were getting me. They kept on chattering, one against
-the other, and making the muddle worse with every word they uttered.
-
-Mr Purchase began, speaking with an absurdly cock-a-doodle air, as if
-I had done him the greatest possible favour by consenting to hold
-Doris’ flowers for a moment or so, for that was really as far as I
-intended my acquiescence to go.
-
-“Now, Miss Norah, that you have made me supremely happy by accepting
-my now rich roses----”
-
-“And mine,” interposed Mr Carter.
-
-“And yours--really, we are not likely to forget it, my dear Basil.
-Would you allow me to speak a few words without interruption? I should
-thank you so much if you would. This morning, Miss Norah, I took a box
-for this evening’s performance at the Gaiety Theatre----”
-
-Again there came an interruption from Mr Carter.
-
-“When you say that you took a box I presume you mean that you went
-through the mechanical operation of having it booked in your name. I
-paid for half of it.”
-
-“My dear Basil, once more you are interrupting me. You appear to be
-incapable of allowing me to conclude a sentence. If you only would,
-you would find that I should explain everything to your most perfect
-satisfaction. Miss Norah, as Basil puts it, we took a box, and I shall
-be only too delighted if you will share my half of it.”
-
-“I hope, Miss Norah, that you will share mine.”
-
-“Basil, you are really trying. I invite Miss Norah, and before she has
-an opportunity of saying Yes or No, you cap my invitation with one of
-your own.”
-
-“I presume, my dear fellow, that I am at liberty to invite whom I
-please. It was only owing to the accident of your having the glibbest
-tongue that my invitation did not come first.”
-
-“Come, Basil, you are behaving like a schoolboy. I tell you what we’ll
-do--I’ll purchase your share of the box.”
-
-“I decline to sell.”
-
-“Then I will get another for myself--I imagine that another is to be
-had--and that I trust, Miss Norah, you will do me the honour of
-sharing with me.”
-
-“I hope, Miss Norah, that you will not be so cruel. I beg that you
-will honour mine.”
-
-They were beginning to look at each other in a way which made me
-almost apprehensive. The trouble was, that I rather wanted to go to
-the Gaiety. I hardly ever get a chance of going to a theatre; the
-others are always going. A piece was there just then to which all the
-world was crowding, and, for once in a way, I was more than willing to
-go with the crowd. That made the invitation rather tempting. But,
-under the circumstances, I was hardly goose enough to own it. Instead
-I endeavoured to induce them to conduct themselves like reasonable
-beings, which, until then, I had always supposed they were.
-
-“Why are you two behaving this afternoon in such an excessively
-ridiculous manner? First you ask me to make two shares of myself in
-one box, and then to divide myself between two boxes. I don’t quite
-see how you can reasonably expect me to do either. I am not a
-divisible quantity.”
-
-They both began at me again.
-
-“You entirely misunderstand me, Miss Norah. So far from wishing you to
-divide yourself, I am piteously anxious that you should only honour my
-box.”
-
-“Since Jack talks of taking another box, so far from dividing
-yourself--which the powers forbid!--all you have to do is to share
-with me the whole of mine.”
-
-I held up the two nosegays--to calm them, if I could.
-
-“One moment--if you’ll be so very kind. I should like you two to offer
-some at least plausible explanation of the extraordinary fashion in
-which you are treating me this afternoon. And, in the first place, I
-would call your attention to two or three simple questions. Have you
-ever hinted at giving me even the shadow of a shade of a flower? You
-know very well that no such idea has ever entered your heads. Why,
-then, do you all at once insist on thrusting on me the roses which you
-brought for Audrey and Doris, for whom you have been in the habit of
-bringing bushels of flowers? Have either of you ever even dimly
-suggested taking me to a theatre? You are aware that no such notion
-has ever entered your wildest dreams. Why, then, are you almost
-quarrelling in your apparent endeavours to compel me to occupy a box
-which you know as well as I do was intended for my two sisters? I
-happen to be cognisant of the fact that you as good as promised to
-take them to the Gaiety, and I have little doubt that you have caused
-them to anticipate the fulfilment of your promise this very evening.
-Can you for one moment suppose that I shall consent to take the places
-which they are expecting to fill? I should be sorry to be forced to
-think that you are not the sort of persons I had taken you to be. I
-have not a lofty opinion of the generality of men, for reasons; but I
-had believed you to be a little above the average.”
-
-Instead of showing the least sign of being ashamed of themselves, they
-commenced to accuse each other in the most brazen manner. Mr Carter
-commenced.
-
-“What you say, Miss Norah, is correct--as it always is. You know,
-Jack, that only this morning you told me that you were going to ask
-Miss Doris to share your half of the box; it was for that especial
-purpose you took it.”
-
-“Did you not give me an assurance that you proposed to ask Miss Audrey
-to go with you?”
-
-“My dear Jack, you informed me as far back as yesterday that you had
-as good as invited Miss Doris to accompany you, and that she had
-practically consented.”
-
-“My memory is not at fault, my good fellow. I perfectly well remember
-that three days ago you remarked to me that you had mentioned the
-Gaiety Theatre to Miss Audrey; that she had expressed a wish to go
-there, and that, to all intents and purposes, you had undertaken to
-take her. After that you will yourself admit that, in common decency,
-there is nothing more to be said.”
-
-“Come, Jack, I don’t want to chop phrases with you. You know I hate
-that kind of thing.”
-
-“Not more than I do.”
-
-“Then, if that’s the case, I’ll make a proposition, the perfect
-fairness of which must commend it to you. Let me have five minutes’
-private and uninterrupted conversation with Miss Norah--I am
-convinced, Miss Norah, that in less time than that I shall succeed in
-making clear to you a good deal that at present seems dark!--and after
-that you can have ten minutes’ talk all to yourself.”
-
-“I accept your proposition--with one proviso; that you let me have the
-first five minutes; then, afterwards, you can have twenty.”
-
-“What kind of a way to treat a friend do you call this, Jack? You
-persist in taking the words out of my mouth, and adopting them as your
-own.”
-
-“Basil, I must beg of you that you will not talk nonsense.”
-
-“Nonsense! Really, Jack, that’s good, as coming from you! I talk
-nonsense! I don’t wish to enter into argument--least of all with you;
-but this is too much.”
-
-“Listen to me!”
-
-Considering that Mr Carter’s face was so very close to Mr Purchase’s,
-and that he was not speaking in the gentlest tone of voice, one could
-hardly see how he could help but listen. Their demeanour was marked by
-so much--I will call it, eagerness--that I was seriously beginning to
-inquire of myself if the temperature of the room was not getting a
-trifle warm. What was the exciting cause I was at a loss to determine;
-yet it did seem incredible that such lifelong friends should wrangle
-about nothing. If the cause of the heat was me--which seemed more
-incredible still--I could only declare that I was conscious of no sane
-reason why it should be.
-
-I was almost on the point of inquiring if either of them suffered from
-intermittent attacks of softening of the brain, when the door opened,
-and in came Audrey and Doris. I sincerely hoped that they had been
-long enough in dressing. They might find that they had been just a
-trifle too long.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VIII.
- MEN ARE DECEIVERS EVER
-
-I could not but feel how nice they looked. Not for the first time,
-by any means, it was a comfort to think that they were my sisters. It
-is all very well to inveigh against the tremendous time a woman takes
-in dressing--and I am quite willing to admit that, over and over
-again, the girls have as nearly as possible driven me mad!--but if she
-wants to look her best, she has to. It is just those little delicate
-touches which require care and thought, and cannot be hurried over,
-which complete the picture. After one is completely dressed, one can
-often advantageously spend another quarter-of-an-hour or twenty
-minutes in artistic tittivation; and sometimes the result is worth it.
-
-When I began to take in the details of Audrey and Doris, I realised
-that it had been worth it in their case. They were just exquisite; a
-delight to the eye, a refreshment to the senses; perfect pictures, of
-a kind I never could be. I was laughingly conscious of the absurdity
-of my posing as a rival to them. My impulse was to hurry to them,
-presenting the two nosegays, explaining that I had been merely acting
-as custodian until they came. I fully expected that there would be an
-instant end to those two men’s preposterous behaviour, so far as I was
-concerned, taking it for granted that they would promptly rush back to
-their allegiance, leaving me with the recollection of the lop-sided
-joke we three had had together.
-
-However, to my amazement, and almost to my horror, nothing of the kind
-took place. Instead, Mr Purchase and Mr Carter continued their
-nonsensical, half-quarrelsome argument, totally ignoring Audrey and
-Doris, who remained a few paces inside the door, a growing suggestion
-of astonishment upon their faces. Presently Audrey spoke.
-
-“I hope that we have not kept you waiting. How are you, Mr Carter?”
-
-Mr Carter turned, nodded, and addressed her from where he stood. Cold
-shivers went up and down my back. He had never treated me quite so
-free-and-easily as that.
-
-“Oh, thank you, Miss Audrey. I’m going strong, thank you. I hope you
-are, too.”
-
-Without another word, he resumed his squabble with his friend.
-
-The two girls looked at each other. Then Doris spoke.
-
-“Good afternoon, Mr Purchase. I hope that you have been pleasantly
-engaged, and have not missed me.”
-
-Mr Purchase’s answer must have been distinctly unexpected. He just
-nodded, as Basil Carter had done, and observed, in the most offhanded
-manner:
-
-“Not at all, Miss Doris--not in the very least. We couldn’t have been
-better employed, thank you very much.”
-
-He returned to Mr Carter, placing the forefinger of his right hand on
-the palm of his left.
-
-“The point is this, I have now ceded to you my share of the box,
-leaving you perfect freedom to carry out your original plan, as of
-course you will do.”
-
-“Nothing of the kind. That’s not the point, here is the point in a
-nutshell.”
-
-At it they went, in the old delightful way. The two girls had seated
-themselves on a settee which was between the windows. They looked
-sweet, but a remark which Doris made to me suggested that that was not
-exactly how they were feeling.
-
-“What are you doing with those flowers, Norah? You look silly with a
-bunch in each hand. Somehow flowers and you never do go well together,
-they look incongruous.”
-
-The assault was so gratuitous that it ruffled my plumes. I was just on
-the point of handing them the flowers, with a word of explanation to
-smooth things out; because those two boys had been abominably rude,
-and they were not accustomed to rudeness from men. All experiences of
-that kind had come my way. The fact of the sensation being an entirely
-novel one scarcely made it more agreeable, especially since they had
-every reason to suppose that the pair were head over ears in love with
-them. My inclination was towards sympathy--true sisterly
-sympathy--because I had been treated badly myself, and I knew what it
-felt like. But when Doris spoke to me like that, sympathetic feelings
-retreated into the background. I sank down on the ottoman; put first
-one nosegay to my nose, and then the other; and smiled a little.
-
-“Mr Carter and Mr Purchase have brought me these lovely roses. So
-sweet of them, really!”
-
-I was conscious that the girls cast a curious, and even startled
-glance in my direction. Doris’ voice was a little sharp.
-
-“Do you mean to say that those roses were given you by Mr Purchase?”
-
-“And Mr Carter. They would insist upon my not refusing. Wasn’t it nice
-of them?”
-
-As I glanced towards Doris, with my very sweetest smile, she looked
-what I call scratchy. Audrey addressed Basil Carter.
-
-“So, Mr Carter, you have been giving Norah roses?”
-
-“Yes, yes; poor ones, unworthy the recipient. Had I known the honour
-which was in store for them I would have procured better.”
-
-“That is very kind of you. They look very like the roses you have
-sometimes given me.”
-
-“They are the same--yes--exactly.”
-
-The implication his words suggested,--that while the roses were not
-good enough for me they were for Audrey,--possibly escaped his
-attention. I doubt if it did hers. She looked up at him with notes of
-interrogation in her eyes, as if she were asking what he meant. He
-added, as if by an afterthought:
-
-“By the way, Miss Audrey, there’s a matter on which I should like to
-ask your advice. I have a box for the Gaiety to-night.”
-
-“You told me that you meant to get one.”
-
-Her words seemed to take him slightly aback.
-
-“Yes; I have some recollection of the kind. I believe I did.”
-
-“Did you have much difficulty?”
-
-“No, no; none to speak of.”
-
-Doris questioned Mr Purchase.
-
-“And haven’t you a share in Mr Carter’s box, or has he it all to
-himself?”
-
-“He has it all to himself. I had half, but I have relinquished it.”
-
-Doris raised her eyebrows.
-
-“You have relinquished it?”
-
-“You see, he proposes to ask Miss Audrey to join him, and you.”
-
-“And me? Mr Carter proposes to ask me?”
-
-Doris’ eyebrows went a little higher. Mr Purchase hurried on, as if he
-deemed hurry advisable.
-
-“So I hope to be able to get another box for myself, as I am extremely
-anxious to ask Miss Norah to share it with me.”
-
-“You are anxious--to ask Norah to share it with you?”
-
-Doris’ face was a study. I could have laughed out loud, although, even
-while I sat, I was shivering in my shoes. His audacity was beyond
-anything--at least I thought so, until Mr Carter tried his hand.
-
-“Excuse me, Miss Audrey, but that is not a correct statement of the
-case. It is you, Miss Doris, that Jack proposes to ask, in the hope,
-Miss Audrey, that you will join them. I, on the other hand, have
-already asked Miss Norah to favour my box with the honour of her
-presence.”
-
-Mr Purchase burst out almost before Mr Carter had finished.
-
-“Basil, how can you say such things? Really, you are beyond anything.
-You are perfectly well aware that the original invitation to Miss
-Norah came from me. Now, is that not the fact? Yes or no? Answer me.”
-
-“Don’t be silly, Jack; I invited Miss Norah.”
-
-“After I had done so.”
-
-“Pooh! a question of a moment’s superior glibness.”
-
-Audrey stood up.
-
-“Is this a little comedy which has been arranged between you two.”
-
-“That, Miss Audrey, is precisely the question I have put to Jack. I
-certainly have had no hand in it.”
-
-“But it seems to me you have. You will excuse my putting it to you
-bluntly, Mr Carter; but did I not understand you to say that if you
-succeeded in getting a box for the Gaiety you would offer me a seat in
-it?”
-
-Basil Carter seeming momentarily tongue-tied, his friend answered for
-him.
-
-“Of course he did, Miss Audrey; he told me so himself. He was full of
-his anticipations of enjoyment in your society.”
-
-Doris put her question to Mr Purchase.
-
-“And were you not good enough to hint at my finding room in it with
-you? I rather fancied that you made some proposition of the kind, or,
-was it only fancy?”
-
-It was Mr Carter’s turn to reply.
-
-“Not at all! not in the least! I assure you, Miss Doris, that there is
-not a grain of fancy about it. Jack informed me, with his own lips,
-that he had made an arrangement of the kind with you, and expressed
-his gratification at having done so; and it was with a view of
-carrying out that arrangement that the box was procured. About that
-there cannot be the faintest shadow of a doubt.”
-
-There was an instant’s pause. Neither of the men was looking exactly
-comfortable. I was wondering what excuse I could find to get outside
-the room, feeling incapable of marching out without one. Doris was
-lying back in a corner of the settee, picking at the folds in her
-dress, and smiling apparently at her own thoughts. While Audrey was
-standing close to Mr Carter, regarding him with something like a look
-of puzzlement in her beautiful eyes.
-
-“Then are we to understand that the arrangement still holds good?”
-
-Mr Carter shifted from one foot to the other.
-
-“The arrangement, Miss Audrey?”
-
-“As to the box. Am I to be your guest in it, as you promised?”
-
-There was a tone in Audrey’s voice which I had never heard in it
-before--almost of appeal. I knew that she was observing his face with
-growing surprise, wondering at his obvious constraint. He was
-generally the readiest of men; and, with all his passionate devotion
-to her, never at a loss to express, in the most graceful terms, his
-eagerness to meet her smallest wishes. This blundering creature was
-entirely new to her. Something very near to pity came into her face as
-she continued to regard him.
-
-“What is the matter with you, Mr Carter? You scarcely seem to be
-yourself this afternoon.”
-
-Again a second’s pause. Then he lifted his head and looked at her.
-
-“I am not myself, Miss Audrey, not in the sense that you have known
-me.”
-
-He turned and looked towards me. As he did so, he came and stood close
-to where I was sitting.
-
-“I must beg you to allow me to withdraw from the arrangement which
-existed between us, so far as it referred to me. I believe that Miss
-Norah but seldom attends a theatrical performance. She has never
-attended one with me. If she will grant me the felicity of
-accompanying her to one to-night, she will confer on me an obligation
-of which I shall ever continue conscious.”
-
-There was silence after that. I was tingling from head to foot. I
-almost felt that I should like to box his ears. I have little doubt
-that Audrey would not have been indisposed to box both his and mine. A
-look which was akin to terror came into her eyes; she went white, as
-if something had frightened her. Doris laughed, not nicely, or
-naturally either.
-
-“So, Mr Purchase, since Mr Carter throws us over, and what he says is
-quite correct, poor Norah seldom does attend a theatre--so few people
-care to attend one with her--Audrey and I will have to depend on you;
-you will have to find seats for both of us.”
-
-The moment she had spoken I knew that Mr Purchase was going to make
-himself as objectionable as his friend had done, and I believe that
-Doris half suspected it too. There is a sting in that tongue of hers
-which is always ready to strike at someone the instant she even
-imagines that something unpleasant is going to happen to her. He drew
-himself up with that superior air which I have noticed that some men
-do cultivate when they know that they are about to behave badly.
-
-“I trust, Miss Doris, that an erroneous interpretation will not be
-placed upon my words; but you must permit me to point out that I have
-already asked Miss Norah to share my box.”
-
-Doris looked up at him with a sweetly acid smile which I should have
-thought would almost have made him tremble. No man in this world had
-ever thrown her over before, of that I am convinced. In matters of
-that sort, hitherto, all the bad conduct had come from her.
-
-“Yet it would be quite easy to place an erroneous interpretation upon
-your words and your behaviour too, would it not, Mr Purchase, since
-you have already offered a seat in your box to me?”
-
-“Not in set terms, Miss Doris.”
-
-“No? I don’t quite know what you mean by set terms. On certain points
-you appear to have ideas of your own. One is thankful to be able to
-think that they are your own. Are we to take it that Norah proposes to
-divide herself into halves, and to share both your boxes?”
-
-“Certainly not, Miss Doris. At present Mr Purchase hasn’t even got a
-box to share.”
-
-This, of course, was Mr Carter.
-
-“But I soon shall have. Miss Norah, I need hardly say, will occupy my
-box only.”
-
-“Don’t talk nonsense, Jack. Before you invite a lady to share your
-box, I should make sure of having a box to which to invite her. I
-doubt if you’ll get one. My impression is that the house is sold right
-out.”
-
-“I think not. I fancy that I know where to get a box if I want one
-badly. Is it impossible to induce you to see what a peculiar position
-you are taking up, Basil? Is it necessary to once more point out to
-you that the original invitation to Miss Norah came from me, and that
-in that matter you are really merely an interloper?”
-
-“What rubbish that is, Jack.”
-
-Audrey interposed, deftly:
-
-“There does seem to be a good deal of rubbish about, doesn’t there?
-Supposing we take its existence for granted. My dear Norah, you must
-let me congratulate you on the flattering eagerness with which these
-gentlemen desire your presence in their two boxes. It is rather an
-unusual experience for you, is it not? And all the pleasanter on that
-account. What pretty roses these are; they are just like some which Mr
-Carter has occasionally given me.”
-
-Seating herself by my side Audrey took the pink roses from between my
-fingers. Mr Purchase struck what I can only describe as an attitude.
-
-“The position which Carter has taken up justifies me in giving you my
-personal assurance that those roses were intended for you, Miss
-Audrey.”
-
-Mr Carter gave him back as good as he sent; I do not care if that is a
-vulgar way of putting it, it is a correct one.
-
-“And were not those red roses bought by you for Miss Doris, Purchase?
-You know they were.”
-
-Audrey went sweetly on.
-
-“You are lucky, Norah. You not only get our roses, but our seats in
-boxes too. What a popular child you are.”
-
-Doris’ voice came from the couch.
-
-“What I want to know is--since it appears that you do not propose to
-divide yourself into two equal halves--which of these extraordinary
-persons do you propose to favour with your company? They themselves
-don’t seem to know, perhaps you do.”
-
-I was red as a boiled beetroot, and smarting all over, and I expect my
-answers showed it.
-
-“I have not said that I would favour anybody yet. I don’t want other
-people’s flowers, or other people’s seats in boxes either.”
-
-“Miss Norah, I entreat you----”
-
-“Miss Norah, I beseech you----”
-
-Just as those two men came rushing at me, and began to overwhelm me
-with another flood of words, the door was opened again, and in came
-Walter Hammond.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IX.
- MORE TREACHERY
-
-Walter Hammond is a truly remarkable person to associate with
-Eveleen. She is rather short, even for a girl, while he is a perfect
-lamp-post of a man--one of those long, lean persons who seem all
-bones. As he fancies himself horsey, and will persist in dressing the
-part, and wearing the tightest clothes, his extreme slimness is still
-more conspicuous. He is one of those creatures who, when they are in a
-room, seem to be all over the place at once. When he is sitting down
-he never seems to know what to do with his legs, they really are
-tremendously long; if he stretched them out at full length under an
-ordinary dining-table, I should not be surprised if his toes peeped
-out the other side; and when he stands up he is equally at a loss what
-use to make of his hands and arms. He speaks in a rapid, jerky sort of
-way--in fact, he is jerky altogether. When anyone addresses him, he
-not only twists his body round with one jerk, and his head with
-another, and puts his eyeglass in with one jerk, and out with a
-second, but he jerks at his moustache, first with his right hand, and
-then with his left, in a fashion which a slightly nervous person, who
-is not used to him, must find not a little disconcerting. But I
-believe he is harmless, though I don’t think he is as wise as he might
-be. He appears to have the whole of the “Turf Guide,” or whatever you
-call the thing, at his finger ends; and, if you will let him, will
-talk about horses until you begin to pray for the hour when motor-cars
-will have made them as extinct as the dodo.
-
-His manner of entering the room was, on that occasion, characteristic.
-He was groping about for his eyeglass, which, as usual, eluded search
-between the buttons of his waistcoat, and was carrying his hat, and
-gloves, and stick, and a good-sized parcel, with an evident want of
-certainty as to the hand they ought to be in, which it gave one the
-fidgets to observe.
-
-Audrey greeted him with a degree of warmth which suggested that she
-regarded his appearance as a welcome interlude. I know I did. I should
-have regarded the advent of anyone or anything as a welcome interlude
-just then, I believe even mad dogs; though, as I have never
-encountered a mad dog, and never wish to, perhaps I had better not be
-too sure.
-
-“Oh, Mr Hammond, is that you? How delightful! We want somebody to
-amuse us, we are so dull. Eveleen will be charmed; she will be down in
-a moment.”
-
-“Needn’t ask how you are, Miss Audrey; you’re always fit. And Miss
-Doris too; can’t make out how you manage.”
-
-Doris spoke.
-
-“We don’t manage. We have our sufferings like other folk--sometimes
-very unexpected ones they are. What have you in that great parcel? It
-does seem to be in your way; won’t you leave it in the hall?”
-
-“Gloves! gloves! couldn’t possibly leave it in the hall. It’s a little
-bet I lost to Miss Eveleen over Rocketter. The Brimstone filly was
-giving him four pounds, it seemed to me that at the weights it was a
-cert--dead snip. Rocketter won the Horndean Plate, the Scratchem Cup,
-the Slingsbury Stakes, with the weights against him. Appeared to me
-down the Lingfield straight, with such a handicap, there was only one
-horse in it. I was wrong. Told Jim Smiff rode a ripping race--hung on
-to Rocketter’s tail--caught him at the distance--nosed him at the
-post. So Miss Eveleen wins her gloves; sure, it gives me the greatest
-pleasure to pay them.”
-
-I am not an expert in racing slang, so, if there is anything wrong in
-the way Mr Hammond’s observations are reported I am not to blame. I
-only pretend to give a rudimentary impression of the general style of
-his conversation. It was an extraordinary thing that when Eveleen bet
-with him she nearly always won. Either he was careful to arrange it
-so, or else he knew less than he supposed, and she more. Anyhow,
-somehow, her horse was nearly always in front of his. A remark which
-Doris made seemed to convey a hint which he might or might not have
-considered flattering.
-
-“It must be nice to bet with you, Mr Hammond. It ensures one having a
-constant gratuitous supply of little necessaries.”
-
-“Awfully good of you to say so, Miss Doris--really. Always delighted
-to lose to a lady--especially when I’ve had a good run for my
-money--yes. Tremendous rush there seems to be on the Gaiety. Had
-deuce’s own business to get two stalls.”
-
-“For to-night?”
-
-“Yes. Miss Eveleen said she’d like to see the show--so been worrying
-round--yes--had to worry too; but I got ’em.”
-
-“Eveleen is fortunate. I also should like to see the show.”
-
-“Very kind of you to say so--jolly flattering to the theatre
-people--they ought to go up one.”
-
-He had been fumbling, at intervals, for his eyeglass. Now, having
-dropped his hat, stick, and gloves, and only retaining his clutch on
-his parcel, he at last succeeded in jerking his glass into a
-stationary position in front of his eye. He turned towards me. As he
-did so he beamed all over, stood up, and advanced towards me with what
-he possibly intended for a seraphic smile, but which did not strike me
-in that light at all.
-
-“’Pon my word, Miss Norah, fancy you sitting there all the time and my
-not noticing you--only fancy. How very strange! How are you? I needn’t
-ask; you always are so fit; how do you manage? I never saw you looking
-fitter than you are looking just now--does one’s eyesight good to look
-at you. Cannot understand how I came to overlook you--so singular.”
-
-The idea of that man talking to me like that--after the way he had
-treated me--put me all on end, as I let him see.
-
-“It is not at all singular. On the contrary, you have always treated
-me in exactly the same manner. I have sat in the same room with you
-for hours and hours, and you have paid no more attention to me than if
-I was an unnecessary piece of furniture. I doubt if you have ever
-spoken twenty consecutive words to me in your life.”
-
-The wretch was not at all abashed. That afternoon everybody seemed to
-be incapable of shame--particularly those who ought to have been most
-keenly alive to it. It is a disagreeable world. Talk about
-brazen-faced, impudent deceitfulness! I believe that all men are
-capable of anything; I am convinced they are.
-
-That Hammond creature went blundering on as calmly and easily as if I
-had not said what ought to have made him writhe.
-
-“Can only assure you that if I haven’t spoken twenty consecutive words
-to you, I’ll make up for it now--only like to have the chance. Feel I
-could talk to you for ever--sure I could. Like gloves? Sure to. All
-girls like gloves--get through lots of them. Here’s a box full; find
-them rather a decent sort; hope you’ll do me the honour of wearing
-them.”
-
-He held out to me the parcel of gloves which he had just been
-announcing, in the presence of us all, that he had bought to pay the
-debt which he had lost to Eveleen. That did freeze me. I sat up as
-straight as a beanpole.
-
-“I don’t understand you, Mr Hammond.”
-
-But I did not succeed in freezing him. He indulged in an affable
-smile, which made him seem all teeth and mouth.
-
-“Quite simple. Hope you’ll permit me to have the pleasure of
-presenting you with a box of gloves; you’ll find them rippers, got
-them from a really decent fellow; makes specially for me--sixes.”
-
-“I take sevens.”
-
-“Do you? Glad to hear it. Like a girl to have a good-sized hand. Hate
-your little namby things, better suited to a doll than to the end of a
-woman’s arm.” A nice observation to make, considering that both Audrey
-and Doris were present, and that they are notorious for their tiny
-hands. But Mr Hammond went unconcernedly on. “If you want a more
-sensible size you can easily change them, or I will for you. I’ve got
-a largish hand myself.”
-
-He had. He held out in front of me, with an air of simpering
-satisfaction, the very largest hand I had ever seen. I wondered what
-acreage of ground a hand like that might represent. But I did not
-quite say so.
-
-“I understood you to say that those gloves were to settle a bet which
-you had lost to Eveleen.”
-
-“That’s all right. You take these--I’ll soon get her some
-others--don’t you worry about Miss Eveleen.”
-
-“I would rather not take them, thank you.”
-
-“Perhaps you’re right; may as well get a decent size straight away--a
-larger box--better quality. Got two stalls for the Gaiety to-night;
-hope you’ll do me the pleasure of occupying one.”
-
-“Do I understand that you are offering me Eveleen’s stall?”
-
-“Much rather you came, if it’s all the same to you. Awfully jolly if
-you would.”
-
-“I would rather not come, thank you, Mr Hammond.”
-
-Basil Carter came forward. I was really glad of his interference,
-though I would rather he had been a little more sensible.
-
-“Miss Norah will certainly not come with you, Hammond. And, in order
-that you may not annoy her with your importunities, perhaps it would
-be as well that I should tell you at once that to-night, at the Gaiety
-Theatre, Miss Norah will share my box.”
-
-At once Mr Purchase contradicted him.
-
-“Do you wish to quarrel with me, Basil? Because, if not, I must ask
-you to refrain from persisting in such statements. Already I have
-borne them nearly as long as I can. Permit me to inform you, Hammond,
-that it is my box which will be honoured by Miss Norah’s presence.”
-
-“You haven’t the faintest ground for such an assertion. To begin with,
-you haven’t a box.”
-
-“I shall have one. And I have this ground, Basil, that the original
-invitation to Miss Norah came from me.”
-
-“Fiddle-dee-dee!”
-
-Mr Carter snapped his fingers; and they were at it again. Mr Hammond
-took advantage of their wrangling to press what he appeared to have
-the audacity to regard as his claims.
-
-“As these gentlemen don’t seem to be able to agree as to whose guest
-you are going to be, Miss Norah, I vote that you settle the question
-by becoming mine. It would be splendid fun! First rate! Good
-stalls--bang in the middle of the second row--better than a box--it
-would be awfully sporting of you, don’t you know. Say you’ll come!
-Yes! Do! Be the jolly good sort you look, Miss Norah.”
-
-Since the moment Mr Hammond had planted himself at my side, and
-commenced to conduct himself in such a peculiar manner, both Audrey
-and Doris had been speechless. Possibly they felt that the singularity
-of the general proceedings went beyond the capacity of words. But when
-that Hammond man--who, although a friend of Eveleen’s, was, to all
-intents and purposes, a stranger to me--called me “a jolly good sort”
-to my very face, Audrey burst out laughing, as though the joke had
-gone past bearing.
-
-“What is the matter with you all?” she cried. “Is this a conspiracy
-between you three, or have you suddenly gone mad? What is it in Norah
-that has made her, all at once, such an irresistible object of
-attention?”
-
-While she was still speaking Eveleen came in. She addressed herself to
-her.
-
-“So, Eveleen, here you are at last; and it’s quite time you were here.
-Perhaps you will be able to supply the key to the riddle. Mr Carter
-and Mr Purchase have given Norah our roses and our seats at the
-theatre; and now Mr Hammond is endeavouring to induce her to accept
-your gloves and your stall. If there is a rational explanation of
-these gentlemen’s behaviour, do, dear, lose no time in finding it.”
-
-Eveleen came forward with a smile, and that little alert air which
-seems to suggest that there must be quicksilver in her veins.
-
-“What’s the joke? Don’t keep me out of it. How do, Walter?” Their
-acquaintance had got to the Christian-name stage. Eveleen is a little
-familiar with her young men; though she encourages them to behave only
-with the strictest decorum. “You’re looking rather chippy; have you
-been having too many skittles since I saw you?”
-
-She can be slangy; particularly when she thinks that sort of thing is
-sympathetic. I fancy she endeavours to adapt the style of her
-conversation to her company. I am sure that when she has been talking
-to a parson her language has seemed to reek of the odour of sanctity.
-
-I think she expected him to spring to his feet at sight of her, and
-burst into a fit of jerky enthusiasm. If she did she was disappointed.
-He just raised himself an inch or two, and, in an extremely
-perfunctory fashion, extended to her the extreme tips of his fingers.
-
-“Feeling as fit as a fiddler. Sorry you don’t think I look it.” He
-turned to me. “Don’t you think I’m looking pretty fit, Miss Norah?”
-
-A slight shade of surprise flitted across her features, as it had done
-across Doris’ face, and Audrey’s.
-
-“Have you brought me my gloves?”
-
-“Did bring them--rather wanted Miss Norah to have them--seems she
-takes a decent size--none of your little dollie flippers; so as
-they’ll fit you, you may as well have them. Here you are. Now we’re
-straight.”
-
-He thrust the parcel into her hands; she taking it with the expression
-of surprise growing on her countenance.
-
-“And have you got the stall you promised me?”
-
-He inserted his thumbs in the armholes of his waistcoat, and began to
-shake himself in the manner which recalled a dog which has just come
-out of the water. Only he did it in such a very jerky way that one
-almost expected to hear his joints all cracking.
-
-“Got a stall--had dreadful bother to get one--seems as if everyone
-wants to go to the place at the same time. If you don’t mind--and it
-don’t make any difference to you--’pon my word don’t see why it
-should--had rather Miss Norah went with me.”
-
-“I don’t understand you.”
-
-“I say that unless it upsets you in any way--and I don’t see how it
-can--sure to find a chap who’ll be only too glad to place a stall at
-your disposal--lots of chaps about--I’d rather Miss Norah went with
-me--much rather--really; in fact I’ve asked her.”
-
-She looked at him in a way which I should have thought would have made
-even such a hardened sinner, as he seemed to be, wince. But he failed
-to turn a hair.
-
-“Still, I don’t quite understand. Do you mean, Walter, that you have
-offered my stall to Norah--to my sister Norah?”
-
-“Yes--that’s it--exactly what I do mean. It’s clear enough, don’t you
-know. Don’t see where the difficulty comes in, ’pon my word. Only I
-don’t quite see why you should call it _your_ stall, really! I paid
-for it.”
-
-“You paid for it? I see. And did you offer my gloves--these gloves, to
-Norah also?”
-
-“That’s all right. I wanted her to have them; but as she has a really
-decent sort of hand, they’re miles too small for her, so as I know
-they’ll be all right for you, you may as well have them. Don’t you
-worry about that a little bit.”
-
-She looked about her with an air of bewilderment as if seeking an
-explanation from someone, somewhere. Her face had quite altered during
-the few moments she had been in the room. Even her voice had changed,
-it seemed to have grown husky. I knew that she was really fond of Mr
-Hammond. He had been in the habit of prostrating himself in the dust
-at her feet. It must have been a dreadful wrench to have been spoken
-to by him like that.
-
-“I suppose that there is a joke somewhere; but I’m so dull that I
-don’t see where. Norah, has Mr Hammond really done as he says? What
-have you been doing?”
-
-She favoured me with an accusatory glance, as if I had been guilty of
-the blackest crimes. Audrey came to my rescue.
-
-“To do her justice, so far as I have seen, Norah has been doing
-nothing. Norah has been sitting mumchance; scarcely saying boo! to a
-goose, as if she were on prickles. The men appear to have done all the
-doing--unless they have been indulging in an elaborate practical joke,
-at her expense, and ours, which they have already carried too far to
-be in the best of taste. It may be funny, in its way, which is not a
-pretty one.”
-
-Eveleen was continuing to glare at me, as if she would have liked her
-eyes to have scorched my face.
-
-“Are you going with Mr Hammond?”
-
-Mr Carter took upon himself to answer.
-
-“No, Miss Eveleen; Miss Norah is not going with Mr Hammond. Miss Norah
-is going with me.”
-
-Eveleen looked up at him.
-
-“With you?”
-
-Before he could reply, Mr Purchase interposed:
-
-“Again adventuring, Basil, upon forbidden ground, and, in so doing,
-conveying a totally wrong impression. Miss Eveleen, Miss Norah will be
-my guest.”
-
-“Jack, do you wish to tempt me to lose my temper?”
-
-“My dear Basil, let me beg you to remember.”
-
-Mr Hammond reseated himself at my side.
-
-“Since these two chaps do nothing but call each other names!”--they
-had not called each other a single name up to then; it was only that
-Mr Hammond has his own way of expressing himself--“supposing we fix it
-quietly between ourselves. As they can’t hit it off who you’re to go
-with, don’t you go with either of them--you go with me. That’ll suit
-me to a T!--down to the ground, Miss Norah! We shan’t quarrel; you can
-bet your hat on that, and your boots on top of it. We’ll have the best
-time, Miss Norah, if you’ll take my word for it, that anyone ever did
-have yet. I’ll do you a treat, on my honour! And if you’ll only say
-yes, you’ll come, you’ll make me pretty nearly as happy as if I’d won
-the Derby on my very own horse--you can lay your money on it all the
-while.”
-
-Mr Carter touched him on the shoulder.
-
-“Surely, Hammond, it cannot be necessary to again ask you to refrain
-from troubling Miss Norah, who, this evening, will be my guest!”
-
-“But that’s just the point, my dear chap! Will she? Purchase says
-not.”
-
-“I do say not. And that for the sufficient reason that she will be
-mine. And that is also a reason, Hammond, why you should not continue
-your persecution of Miss Norah.”
-
-“There you are--one says one thing, t’other says t’other. What I want
-to know is, who’s who? which is which? what’s what? Straight
-tip!--fight it out between yourselves. Leave Miss Norah and I to fix
-up things between ourselves! There’s a friendly hint for you!”
-
-“Hammond, is it possible that you intend to be impertinent?”
-
-“My dear boy, there isn’t a grain of impertinence in the whole of my
-constitution, honest Injun! All I ask is--talk sense.”
-
-“The sense of the matter is that Miss Norah will be my guest.”
-
-“Jack, that’s utter nonsense!”
-
-“There you are! there you are! Where are you?”
-
-Eveleen spoke, her words coming from her lips like drops of vitriol.
-
-“Don’t you think, Norah, that you had better favour all three of these
-gentlemen with your delightful company? It would be so nice--for them,
-and for you--and it would save further complications.” She turned to
-Audrey and Doris. “Has it not occurred to you two girls that we are
-rather in the way?”
-
-Both Audrey and Doris burst out laughing. I do not know what at. There
-did not seem to be much merriment in their mirth. While they were
-still making those somewhat discordant sounds, Major Paul Tibbet
-entered the room.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER X.
- THE COMPROMISE
-
-Everybody that afternoon seemed to be bringing something. We might
-have been spreading broadcast an announcement that each caller was
-expected to provide himself with an offering as evidence of good
-faith. The moment I set eyes on Major Tibbet I perceived that he had
-his. It took the shape of a brown-paper parcel of some size, and,
-apparently, some weight, since he bore it in front of him, on both
-arms, as if it were a baby. As he is not the kind of person one would
-expect to see carry a parcel of any kind, the effect was a little
-funny.
-
-Audrey’s and Doris’ forced laughter seemed to give him a false
-impression of what was going on. He broke into what he probably
-intended should be a smile of the extremest affability.
-
-“I come at a fortunate moment, to find you laughing! full of fun!
-Nothing so delightful as the merriment of young ladies. I thoroughly
-enjoy a joke, myself.” He addressed Audrey. “I have here a trifle
-which I trust will not meet with the disapprobation of Mrs O’Brady.”
-
-“It doesn’t look as if it were a trifle.”
-
-“Between ourselves, it’s not--weighs twenty pounds if an
-ounce--magnificent bird--pick of the market.” His voice assumed a tone
-of great solemnity. “It’s a truffled turkey--prepared by my own chef,
-with his own hands, after a recipe of his own. A _chef-d’œuvre_; an
-unique, Miss Audrey, an unique!”
-
-The Major makes a god of his belly. The only things he really cares
-for--besides the decoration of his ridiculous old person--are things
-to eat and drink. He keeps the menus of his dinners. He can give you
-the history--with all the i’s dotted and the t’s crossed--of meals he
-ate thirty years ago; with the names of all the dishes, detailed
-accounts of how they were cooked, and realistic descriptions of how
-they tasted. It gives me a feeling of having over-eaten myself to hear
-him talk.
-
-“I have ventured, also, Miss Audrey, to command a small dinner at the
-King’s to-night, which I am hopeful that Mrs O’Brady will do me the
-honour of eating with me. I will tell you what I have ordered----”
-
-“Had you not better tell mamma that? She might like to be the first
-recipient of so delicious a communication.”
-
-“You may be right. I think you probably are. When one considers the
-matter broadly, one perceives that that would only be just to Mrs
-O’Brady. I will tell you afterwards, Miss Audrey; only a pleasure
-postponed, that’s all. This parcel is a trifle heavy; I think, with
-your permission, I should like to----”
-
-As he began to look about for a spot on which to deposit his
-twenty-pound turkey, his eyes travelled in my direction. When they
-reached me, he started. He came a step nearer, as if, at that
-distance, his poor, faded, old eyes were not perfectly sure that it
-was I. Having made up his mind upon the point, he quite obviously
-started again, coming close up to me with a sort of little canter. At
-the same moment I was conscious--though the Major was not--that mamma
-had entered the room, and stood just inside the door, listening and
-looking on.
-
-“My dear Miss Norah, fancy my not noticing you before--most
-extraordinary! Can’t think how it could have happened. I’m sure, I beg
-ten thousand pardons. However, better late than never; you know the
-old saying, my dear Miss Norah. Allow me to present you with this
-truffled turkey--done by my own man. If I were to tell you, in
-confidence, what I pay the fellow, you’d stare. I’ve reason to believe
-that, before you put your fork into him, this bird will have cost me
-five pounds. Yet I dare to assert that, by the time you have done with
-him, you will agree with me that he was worth every farthing of it,
-Miss Norah, every farthing.”
-
-“Thank you, Major Tibbet, but I do not care for truffled turkey.”
-
-“Not care for truffled turkey! What are you saying, Miss Norah? You
-can’t mean it. I suppose it’s a jest of yours--an excellent one, too.
-Because, of course, it isn’t possible that anyone shouldn’t care for
-truffled turkey.”
-
-“It is not only possible, but, in my case, it’s an actual fact. I do
-not care for truffled turkey, Major Tibbet. Nor, in any case, could I
-accept a gift which was intended for my mother.”
-
-When I said this, I saw mamma--who, with the aid of her _pince-nez_,
-had been taking the liveliest interest in the Major’s remarks--give a
-kind of little jump. I knew that she liked truffled turkey, and that,
-indeed, on the subject of eating and drinking, generally, she and the
-Major were in considerable sympathy. I suppose that, when people grow
-old, they are fonder of that kind of thing than when they are young.
-
-That gormandising Major, in complete unconsciousness of who was
-standing behind him, threw mamma’s prior claim upon his wretched bird
-entirely overboard.
-
-“Ah, your mother, your respected mother. I do like to find young girls
-considering their mothers. It’s a sweet trait--yes, it’s a very sweet
-trait--in your character, Miss Norah. Still, I’ve no doubt that you
-and I, between us, shall be able to manage with your mother,
-afterwards--that is, if you will condescend to accept my little
-offering.”
-
-“Thank you, Major Tibbet, but I will not.”
-
-“Then, in that case, we’ll say no more about it, and we’ll settle it
-in this way. I’ve ordered dinner at the King’s restaurant this
-evening. If they carry out my instructions--and, if they don’t,
-they’ll hear of it!--I think I can promise you something which shall
-be worthy even of--Miss Norah; if Miss Norah will permit me to count
-upon her as my guest.”
-
-“I thought, Major Tibbet, that the dinner also was intended for
-mamma.”
-
-“Really, Miss Norah, really! you are unduly severe, you really are!
-You should never go behind an invitation--never. When I invite you, I
-invite you, and venture to anticipate a favourable reply. It would
-make me so happy, Miss Norah, it really would.”
-
-Jack Purchase came forward.
-
-“Pardon me, Major Tibbet. Perhaps, Miss Norah, I had better explain.
-Major Tibbet, Miss Norah will not be able to dine with you to-night,
-as she is sharing my box at the Gaiety Theatre.”
-
-Basil Carter followed.
-
-“Major Tibbet, in a sense, that statement is correct--with the
-solitary exception that it is my box which Miss Norah is going to
-share.”
-
-“Now, Basil, have I again to remonstrate with you?”
-
-“My dear Jack, the remonstrance would more properly come from me!”
-
-Walter Hammond thrust in his comments, seeming to jerk out his limbs
-in all directions as he spoke.
-
-“At it again! Nice boys, aren’t they, Miss Norah? Always in their
-little nests agree! Since still they can’t make up their minds who’s
-who, and what’s what, and Tibbet’s a little late with his dinner, do
-say, Miss Norah, you’ll have that stall of mine. It’ll be so sporting
-of you, don’t you know; and you’ll be able to nod now and then at
-Purchase and Carter, as they sit glaring at each other in their
-boxes.”
-
-Apparently mamma had arrived at the conclusion that it was time to
-announce her presence.
-
-“What does this discussion mean? And how is it that Norah has all at
-once become the centre of so much attention? Norah, what have you been
-doing? How are you, gentlemen? Good-afternoon, Major.”
-
-Major Tibbet advanced to mamma, holding out his brown paper parcel--of
-which I rather suspected he had become wearied.
-
-“Here you are, Mrs O’Brady! How are you? Hope you’re well. Here’s a
-truffled turkey for you. Miss Norah doesn’t seem to care for it, but
-I’m sure you will. Much pleasure in giving it you, I’m sure.”
-
-Whether mamma had equal pleasure in accepting it was not so
-obvious--particularly after the remarks which she could not have
-helped but hear, and the manner of presentation was, to say the least,
-peculiar. Without waiting to see if mamma was ready to relieve him of
-his burden, he forced it on her in such a very singular fashion that
-it went crashing to the floor. He did not stop to inquire if it had
-fallen on her feet, which it might easily have done, and twenty pounds
-is twenty pounds when it falls upon your tightly-fitting slippers;
-still less did he trouble himself to even offer to pick it up again.
-The moment he had got rid of it he came bustling back to me, mumbling
-an apology which was fashioned on lines which were distinctly his own.
-
-“Beg pardon--thought you’d got it--really! Better ring the bell, and
-tell servant to take it away--thing’s so heavy, nearly broken both my
-arms--couldn’t have held it another moment, really! Now, Miss Norah,
-about this dinner to-night. I’ve ordered a bisque, which--I give you
-my personal assurance--when you have once tasted it you will not
-easily forget.”
-
-Again there came an interposition from Mr Purchase.
-
-“Miss Norah will not have an opportunity of forgetting the--article in
-question, since it is apparently necessary to repeat to you that, this
-evening, she is engaged to me.”
-
-“To me, that is.”
-
-This, of course, was Basil Carter.
-
-“I would recommend you, Major Tibbet, to understand that Purchase
-speaks in a general sense only, since, in the letter, as a matter of
-plain fact, Miss Norah is engaged to me.”
-
-“Major Tibbet, Basil, is too wise a man to discredit my positive
-statement.”
-
-“He will be an exceedingly unwise one if he casts the faintest shadow
-of a doubt on mine.”
-
-Then came Mr Hammond.
-
-“I’m the last person in the world to wish to breed dissension where
-there’s disputing already, because a pretty quarrel’s too good a thing
-to spoil; but I take leave to remark, Mr Carter, and Mr Purchase, and
-Major Tibbet, that Miss Norah will relieve you of all your
-difficulties by bestowing her society on me.”
-
-“Norah,” observed mamma, in that icy tone which I knew so well, and
-which I knew suggested that she was not in the very sweetest temper,
-“I think you had better retire to your own room.”
-
-“To her own room!” cried Mr Hammond. “And why, Mrs O’Brady, would you
-break our hearts and darken the heavens?”
-
-“I don’t know if you are aware, Mr Hammond, that at least your
-language is peculiar. I am afraid that Norah must have been forgetting
-herself to be the cause of this--singular scene.”
-
-“Forgetting herself? Not at all! It’s we who have been remembering
-her--that’s how it is, Mrs O’Brady. And, between ourselves, I’d be
-glad if you’d tell her that you’d like her to occupy a stall I have
-to-night at the Gaiety Theatre.”
-
-“Excuse me, Mrs O’Brady,” interposed Basil Carter, “but Mr Hammond
-seems disposed to take an unfair advantage of you. It is I who would
-ask you to permit Miss Norah to share my box.”
-
-“Mrs O’Brady,” exclaimed Jack Purchase, “before you say one word to
-either of them, please allow me to inform you that it was I who first
-asked Miss Norah to honour me.”
-
-“And how about my dinner at the King’s!” cried Major Tibbet. “I need
-hardly tell you, Mrs O’Brady, that I have the good fortune to be
-somewhat the senior of these young gentlemen, and it is therefore with
-every confidence that I ask you this evening to entrust Miss Norah to
-me.”
-
-Mamma’s manner, as she replied, was anything but genial.
-
-“Whether consciously or not I cannot say, but you gentlemen are
-behaving with more than a little singularity. You seem oblivious of
-the fact that other ladies are present besides this--child. Must I
-again request you, Norah, to oblige me by at once retiring to your own
-room?”
-
-Suddenly a voice came from the door, and Mr Rumford advanced at a pace
-which was hardly becoming to his decidedly well-developed figure--in
-his hand the ubiquitous box. He and Lilian had entered together, and
-only a second before, unless I was much mistaken, I had seen him
-offering it to her. Now he withdrew it, with what was very like a
-snatch, from her approaching fingers.
-
-“Retire to her own room!” he protested, in that loud, ringing voice of
-his, which always made me think what an excellent cheap-jack he would
-have made. “You couldn’t be so cruel, Mrs O’Brady. It’s not to be
-thought of, not for a moment. May I ask you to accept these bonbons,
-dear Miss Norah? I am sure you have a sweet tooth--it would be so in
-character. And I am so fortunate as to have two stalls to-night for
-the Gaiety Theatre. If you would avail yourself of one----”
-
-He was interrupted by Audrey breaking into an apparently irresistible
-peal of laughter. Everyone turned to stare at her. That sort of thing
-is so unusual in Audrey, who is generally the quietest of persons. I,
-for one, had never heard her laugh like that before. She endeavoured
-to explain what had caused her merriment.
-
-“It really is so funny; all the world is going to-night to the Gaiety
-Theatre. The coincidence is most amusing.”
-
-“And yet the explanation is extremely simple,” commented Eveleen,
-speaking in a coldly acid voice, which meant that she was raging hot
-within. “We have all been talking about it lately, and I suppose that
-we have all dropped hints that we would like to go. These gentlemen,
-with that generosity which we know is one of their most charming
-characteristics, have acted on those hints--up to a certain point.
-They have all, with one accord, provided themselves with seats. Are we
-to take it, Norah, that you propose to occupy them all?”
-
-Mr Hammond snapped his fingers, making a noise like the report of a
-pop gun.
-
-“You’ve hit it on the head, Miss Eveleen; prevented bloodshed, and
-solved the problem. Miss Norah, we’ll act upon your sister’s hint.
-Tibbet, we all of us will dine with you.”
-
-The Major looked as if the proposition took him by surprise--which was
-not to be wondered at.
-
-“You’ll excuse me, Mr Hammond, but I’m hanged if you will.”
-
-“Then Miss Norah won’t, for to-night we hunt in companies.”
-
-The Major looked at the speaker with a rueful countenance.
-
-“How many are there of you?”
-
-“Four, barring Miss Norah, and she counts for all the world. At what
-time do you dine?”
-
-“I, sir, dine at eight.”
-
-“Eight! Why, man, that’s the time the theatre begins. You’ll dine at
-seven.”
-
-“You adopt a very peculiar tone, Mr Hammond, in endeavouring to
-dictate to me at what hour I take my meals. I entirely decline to
-contemplate the possibility of my dining at such an un-Christian hour
-as seven.”
-
-“Good! then we’ll dine at seven, and you’ll dine afterwards. When
-we’ve dined we’ll go on together in a body to the theatre, and Miss
-Norah shall take it turn and turn about to sit with us. What do you
-say, gentlemen? Isn’t that a sporting proposition?”
-
-“On condition that Miss Norah sits first of all with me, I, for one,
-am not indisposed, for the sake of peace, to waive some portion of my
-undoubted rights.”
-
-This was Basil Carter. Mr Purchase came hard upon his heels.
-
-“Now, Basil, you’ve taken the words out of my mouth. If Miss Norah
-sits first with me, Hammond, you may count me in.”
-
-“Gentlemen! gentlemen!” cried Mr Rumford. “It appears to me that I
-have a voice in the matter; I claim the place of honour.”
-
-Mr Hammond endeavoured to throw oil upon the waters.
-
-“Softly! keep a tight hand upon the reins. Wait till the gate has
-gone, then we’ll all be off together. There need be no difficulty
-about a little thing like that. For my part, if the running’s fair,
-I’m willing that my stall shall be the last Miss Norah sits in;
-that’ll suit me all the way. But there are ways and means of settling
-that sort of thing pleasantly and quietly between ourselves. The main
-point is the principle--we’re to share and share alike. If that’s
-conceded, we’ll worry about the details afterwards. You understand,
-Miss Norah, that you’re to dine with us at seven. We’ll be here, the
-lot of us, to fetch you at a quarter to. For the sake of all the good
-horses that ever ran an honest race, be ready--don’t keep us
-waiting--we’ll be an anxious crowd. And, until then, Miss Norah, I’ll
-be wishing you good-bye.”
-
-“I also, Miss Norah,” said Mr Carter, taking my hand before I knew
-that he meant to offer me his. “I am well aware that your near
-neighbourhood will bring happiness to me, but, at the same time, I
-would have you clearly realise that I only relinquish the rare
-privilege of your undivided society throughout the evening for the
-sake of that harmony which I know you would desire.”
-
-“Miss Norah,” urged Mr Purchase, “do not for one moment suppose that,
-in self-abnegation, Basil is one whit in front of me. What I suffer by
-acceding, for the sake of peace, to the compromise which has been
-suggested, it is possible that you will one day know.”
-
-“It’s you only I’m thinking of, Miss Norah,” declared Mr Rumford. “I
-needn’t tell you which I’m likely to prefer, to have you all to
-myself--blissful thought, Miss Norah!--or to--to share you with a
-crowd.”
-
-Mr Rumford looked about him in a way which certainly was not
-suggestive of the harmony of which they all were speaking. Major
-Tibbet joined himself to the chorus, with a simper which ill became
-him.
-
-“You will judge what my feelings are, Miss Norah, when I tell you
-that, for your sake, I will consent to dine at seven. I have made it
-one of the rules of my life never to dine, anywhere, before eight. How
-long it is since I dined at the abnormal hour of seven, I am unable to
-say positively, without referring. But so far as my memory serves
-me--and in matters of such importance I think my memory may be
-trusted--I say, that so far as my memory serves me----”
-
-“Yes, we know what you say, Tibbet; and you can say the rest to-night.
-Remember, Miss Norah, a quarter to seven--sharp!”
-
-Mr Hammond thrust his arm through the Major’s and bore him away. The
-five men all left the room, and I was left alone with the girls and
-mamma.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XI.
- THE TURNING OF THE WORM
-
-No one spoke a word for quite a minute. The girls and mamma were
-looking at me--I was conscious of their eyes all over me--and I was
-looking at the floor. I felt as if I had been guilty of--to say the
-very least--the gravest impropriety, though I had not the faintest
-notion how, and was thoroughly well aware that now the storm was about
-to burst,--which presently it did. Mamma began--in that tone of voice
-in which she addresses observations to the servants which she dares
-them to deny. It gives you the impression that she is sitting on the
-safety-valve, and that in another half-second there will be a blow-up.
-And there generally is.
-
-“Norah, may I ask you to tell me what is the meaning of the scene
-which I have just witnessed?”
-
-I smoothed the petals of one of Mr Carter’s roses.
-
-“Really, mamma, you know as well as I do.”
-
-“Please don’t speak to me in that impertinent manner.” Her voice was
-raised perhaps half a tone. “I insist upon an explanation. Why have
-these men behaved in so disgraceful a fashion, and what encouragement
-have you been giving them?”
-
-“Encouragement? I?” I glanced up with what I intended to be my air of
-perfect innocence. I do not fancy, from the expression which was on
-mamma’s countenance, that she quite liked the look which was on mine.
-“Audrey and Doris have been here the whole time. They will be able to
-tell you what encouragement I have offered.”
-
-“Do you expect me to believe that these men would have given
-you--you!--the presents which were intended for your sisters, unless
-you had offered them some extraordinary and disgraceful
-encouragement?”
-
-“I do not know why they gave the things to me. I am sure I did not
-want them. I could not have told them so more plainly. I shall have
-pleasure in handing them over to whoever you think they were
-originally intended for.”
-
-Doris spoke. She was still sitting on the couch, her arms raised, her
-hands clasped under the back of her head, her face turned towards the
-ceiling. Her manner was smilingly acid.
-
-“How nice of you, Norah! And will you really give me Mr Purchase’s red
-roses, and Audrey Mr Carter’s pink ones, and Lilian Mr Rumford’s
-bonbons? Eveleen already has Mr Hammond’s gloves, and mamma the
-Major’s turkey,--at least, she will have, when she picks it up from
-the floor, since those you declined to accept. How very sweet you are!
-Think of studying our feelings to that extent.”
-
-Lilian came forward. She looked more disagreeable than any of them.
-Considering that Mr Rumford’s conduct had been so very unexpected, and
-that she had made up her mind that it was time that she should marry
-someone, and that Mr Rumford was the most eligible person who seemed
-likely to present himself, there was some excuse for her, though I do
-not think she need have been quite so vicious as she was.
-
-“At any rate, I will have those bonbons. They certainly were not meant
-for you.”
-
-She positively snatched at the box, which was on the ottoman at my
-side. I looked up at her with my sweetest smile.
-
-“With the greatest possible pleasure, my dear Lilian. I should not
-wish to accept anything from Mr Rumford. You know that he is not the
-sort of person to whom I should care to be indebted in the smallest
-particular.”
-
-“Then don’t you dare to go to the Gaiety with him to-night!”
-
-“Dare? My dear Lilian, what very odd language you do use. It’s not a
-question of daring, I can assure you.” I smiled down at Mr Carter’s
-roses, which I had exchanged for Mr Purchase’s. “It’s not my fault if
-he prefers to take me instead of you--is it?”
-
-I thought she would have boxed my ears. I feel sure she would have
-liked to. Eveleen laughed.
-
-“And I suppose,” she said, “that it’s not your fault if they all of
-them prefer to take you instead of us.”
-
-I kept on smiling at the roses.
-
-“I don’t know why they should prefer it. I haven’t an idea.”
-
-“It is a novel experience, isn’t it?”
-
-“I certainly haven’t been to the theatre with so many gentlemen as
-you, if that’s what you mean.”
-
-I did not raise my eyes, but I have a suspicion that Eveleen looked at
-me a little waspishly.
-
-“I wonder if, after all, you are cleverer than we have given you
-credit for. If so, you have managed to hide your light under a bushel
-for a good many years. You must excuse my saying so, but you seem this
-afternoon to have performed a sort of conjuring trick.”
-
-“A conjuring trick? How?”
-
-“You have captured, at a single stroke, the five hearts which,
-separately and individually, we have been laboriously cultivating, and
-all the seats which were meant for us; while we--we, alas!--have been
-left lamenting. Don’t you think yourself that that’s a sort of
-conjuring trick?”
-
-“You know, Eveleen, men are very fickle.”
-
-“I have had some experience of men, as you have hinted, and I am
-painfully aware, my dear child, of the truth of that elementary fact
-in natural history; but I did not know that they were fickle to quite
-the extent which you suggest. I personally have never before seen them
-perform a right-about-face quite so rapidly, or quite so impudently
-either.”
-
-Audrey came and planted herself on the carpet at my feet.
-
-“Let me look at you, Norah. Every marvel, the wise inform us, is
-capable of a natural explanation; so perhaps this is.” I was conscious
-that those lovely eyes of hers, which see everything, were subjecting
-me to a curious scrutiny. “Do you know that there is something
-different about you somehow. It’s a sort of atmosphere. I’m sensible
-of it as I look at you. Let me see your eyes.” I did. I saw her
-breathe more quickly the moment they were fastened on her face.
-“That’s it! Child, what hankey-pankey have you been indulging in?” She
-laid her hands upon my knees. “Do you know that there is magic in your
-eyes, and that you’re prettier than I am?”
-
-“Audrey! Don’t talk such nonsense! As if I didn’t know!”
-
-“I beat you in regularity of feature--in those formal charms which go
-to the composition of a picture; but there’s magic in your eyes. No
-man could look at them and remain unmoved. I can’t. They move me quite
-funnily. I’d like to kiss them, and I’m not a kissing person as a
-rule. Masculine flesh is much more susceptible than mine. Doris, come
-here and look at her, and tell me if you don’t see exactly what I
-mean.”
-
-“I’m much obliged, but I don’t happen to be interested. I have seen
-too many persons apparently moved by them already. What I want to know
-is, is Jack Purchase going to be moved by them for ever.”
-
-Audrey had never looked away from my face. Although she might not have
-been aware of it, in her voice there came a touch of anxiety.
-
-“Norah, you’re not fond of Mr Carter, are you?”
-
-“Well--in a kind of a way.”
-
-“In a kind of a way? What kind of a way? Remember, child, that what is
-sport to you may be--something else to me.”
-
-I was in a mischievous frame of mind. Each moment the mood was growing
-on me. What is more, my courage had returned. When I thought of what I
-had suffered at the hands of those four girls, and realised that now
-an opportunity had come--though goodness only knew whence, or how, or
-why!--to pay them back some of their own coin, an imp of malice seemed
-to enter into me, so that I did not care what I did or said. Ignoring
-Audrey’s evident earnestness I tried to seem as indifferent as I
-could.
-
-“I don’t like him as much as I do Jack Purchase.”
-
-“Don’t you, indeed!” retorted Doris, still with her face upturned.
-“What an altogether delightful person you seem to have suddenly
-become--such a storehouse of all the sisterly virtues. You have my
-permission to like Mr Purchase as much as you please; and he is at
-liberty to like you--if he is that sort of person.”
-
-“It’s ridiculous!” cried Lilian, in that vicious way of hers. “Norah
-is nothing but a great, ungainly, awkward gawk. She always has been,
-and always will be. She is as little likely to appeal to a decent man
-as one of Barnum’s freaks. The only kind of person to whom she is
-likely to commend herself is such a monstrosity as Crooked Ben.”
-
-When she said that, I went hot all over. I made up my mind that I
-would show her no mercy, at any rate.
-
-“If that is so isn’t it rather queer that Mr Rumford should prefer my
-society to yours?”
-
-“He doesn’t, and you know very well he doesn’t. If you suppose he does
-then you must be a little madder even than I thought, and I am not
-conscious of ever having rated your intellectual capacity highly.
-These men have simply combined to make you the victim of a stupid
-practical joke. They know you are dull, and have traded on that
-knowledge to a degree for which I readily admit there is no excuse.”
-
-“You think so?”
-
-“Surely you are not going to be such an idiot as to take their
-tomfooleries seriously? Use your common-sense--or what stands you in
-the place of common-sense. Has any one of them ever treated you with
-sufficient civility to enable you to justify to yourself their
-ridiculous conduct of this afternoon--the preposterous pose they have
-taken up? On the contrary, haven’t they studiously ignored your very
-existence--except on those occasions when they have gone out of their
-way to laugh at you.”
-
-“That’s true enough. I’m afraid they have not been very nice to me--in
-the past.”
-
-“In the past! Do you consider, then, that they have treated you nicely
-in the present--this afternoon--just now, for instance?”
-
-“I am of opinion that they have behaved very horridly to us--including
-Norah. We should be quite justified in never admitting them into the
-house again. Were I Norah I should signify my resentment of their
-conduct in a fashion which they would not be likely to forget.
-However, tastes differ. It is possible that Norah has her own ideas.”
-
-This was Doris. Then came Eveleen--in almost everything she said there
-was a meaning which was not upon the surface. She is just a mistress
-of innuendo.
-
-“There are people who would prefer to occupy the peculiar position of
-a common butt rather than not be taken notice of at all. Perhaps these
-gentlemen have counted on the fact. In some men the sense of humour
-takes such an odd direction.”
-
-Audrey showed that she had a clearer insight into the real inwardness
-of the matter than all the rest of them put together.
-
-“You are wrong--all of you. This afternoon Norah is a witch--she has
-bewitched them.”
-
-Eveleen sneered.
-
-“Really? What a very simple, lucid, and satisfactory explanation of
-these gentlemen’s wrong-headedness.”
-
-“Audrey!” cried Lilian. “How can you talk such nonsense? Do you want
-to make a greater fool of her than she has been made already.”
-
-“Lilian, your temper is such a short one; do keep hold of it. I’m not
-holding a brief for Norah; but if you come here and look at her eyes,
-and realise the intangible something which is in the atmosphere which
-surrounds her, you’ll catch my meaning--for you’re almost as good a
-judge of that sort of thing as I am!”
-
-But Lilian was not to be persuaded.
-
-“Mamma,” she exclaimed, “why do you allow Audrey to back up those
-wretched men in their attempts to turn poor Norah’s naturally silly
-head? Do you consider that their behaviour this afternoon has been
-creditable either to themselves, or to us, or to you? We are your
-daughters. Can you not insist on our being treated, at any rate while
-we are in your house, with at least the elements of common respect?”
-
-Mamma assumed what she meant to be her most dignified air. Her remarks
-were intended to be both judicial and crushing.
-
-“Lilian, you forget yourself, and me. I have hitherto shown myself
-capable of watching over my daughters, so far as they have permitted
-me to do so. Unfortunately, in some directions, the young women of the
-present day are in advance of their parents. Audrey, I must request
-you not to make foolish remarks to Norah, who has already been placed
-in a sufficiently ridiculous position. Norah, I will not comment at
-this moment on the extremely singular manner in which you have deemed
-it proper to behave. I find it difficult to credit that I have been
-witnessing the conduct of a child of my own. But on that subject I
-shall have plenty to say later; of that you may be sure. In the
-meantime you will be so good as to understand that I positively forbid
-you ever to speak to either of these gentlemen again, or to remain,
-under any circumstances, in a room in which they are. Now you will
-please to leave this room, and retire to your own.”
-
-She moved on one side, as if she expected me to march right past her
-then and there. But I didn’t. I put first Mr Carter’s and then Mr
-Purchase’s roses to my nose, and kept on smiling.
-
-“Never speak to them again? Mamma, what do you mean?”
-
-“I mean exactly what I say; and what I say is intelligible even to
-you. Now, go.”
-
-“But, mamma, I am going to dine with them, and going to the theatre
-with them afterwards.”
-
-Mamma came a step nearer. She looked very angry indeed.
-
-“Be careful, Norah, that you don’t go too far.”
-
-“Too far! Mamma, what do you mean? You heard them ask me, press me
-even--especially Major Tibbet--and the arrangements which were made.
-They are coming here in a body at a quarter to seven;--and you,
-Eveleen, must have noticed how Mr Hammond begged and prayed I wouldn’t
-keep them waiting.”
-
-“Norah, let me advise you not to force me to resort to measures which
-you will afterwards have serious cause to regret. Don’t defy me! You
-have not seemed to be a child of mine from the day that you were born.
-You have been a burden to me and your sisters all along. Your conduct
-this afternoon is a climax. The limits of my patience are nearly
-reached. Do as I tell you--leave this room.”
-
-“I’ll leave this room with pleasure. After what you have said I’m
-hardly likely to be tempted to remain. But before I go I mean to have
-my say and it’s no use, mamma, your trying to stop me.”
-
-I stood up, a bunch of roses in either hand; and though mamma looked
-as if she would have liked to annihilate me then and there, I fancy
-there was something in my appearance which persuaded even her that it
-might be advisable, just this once, to let me gang my own queer gait.
-I was so much larger than she was, in every way, that to attempt
-physical coercion would, obviously, be absurd. And it seemed that no
-other measures would avail; so I had my say.
-
-“You have it that I have been a burden to you and to the girls. Does
-it not occur to you that there may be another side to that position,
-and that you and the girls have been a burden to me? I suggest it with
-no unfilial intention, or in any spirit of disrespect; but doesn’t it?
-So far back as I can remember you have never treated me as if I seemed
-to be your child. You have thwarted my every wish, tried to force me
-into grooves for which nature has unfitted me, trammelled me wherever
-I sought expansion. You have always held my sisters up to me as models
-of all the virtues--as I have not the slightest doubt they are--and
-you have taught them to regard me as half idiot, half monster. I
-readily admit that they have been willing pupils, so that I verily
-believe that you and they have come to look upon me as of different
-flesh and blood than yourselves--almost as something lower than the
-beasts that grovel. My life, so far, has been an arid waste. I do not
-think that during the whole of it I have known a week’s real
-happiness, which is scant measure when you consider what a good time
-the girls have always had. You must concede that my turn to have a
-good time is nearly due. If you do or don’t, it’s come. I present, my
-dear mamma and sisters, an, I am afraid, unpalatable fact--that my
-turn to have a good time has come. As Audrey puts it--I’m a witch.
-I’ve become one in the twinkling of an eye--just as it happens in the
-fairy tales. You have seen how I bewitched those five men whom you
-have all been so assiduously courting. Yes--courting; it’s no good any
-of you looking black--it’s the exact word. In your dexterous,
-delicate, dainty way you’ve all of you courted every man you’ve ever
-met. Now, I never courted any man.”
-
-“For reasons,” murmured Eveleen.
-
-“Yes, Eveleen, for reasons; one of them being that you’ve always done
-your best to make it clear how absurd it would be for me to attempt to
-court any man who was in the least desirable. Yet now these men have
-courted me!--you’ve seen it with your own eyes!--to the ruination of
-your tempers! At sight of me they’ve thrown themselves at my head
-before your very faces, pressed on me the offerings which were
-designed for you, implored my acceptance of the seats which you had
-hoped to occupy. And they have left the house, ignoring your
-existence--as mine has been wont to be ignored; thinking only of me,
-looking forward rapturously to the evening they hope to spend in my
-society. And they shall spend it, too. I’ll sit in all those seats,
-turn and turn about, one after the other; and I’ll be admired by all
-the theatre--or, at least, by all the men in it. You wait and you
-shall see; or, if you don’t see, afterwards you shall hear. It will
-amuse you hugely, I haven’t the slightest doubt. And I’ll dine with
-them. You know, mamma, that Major Tibbet can be trusted to order a
-dinner; and though I mayn’t do it such justice as you would, I’ll do
-my best. And I should like to see any of you try to stop me. How would
-you propose to do it? Physically, I’m a match for all of you together.
-In a muscular sense, I’m a splendid animal. Compared to me you’re like
-dolls, soft as putty--you pride yourselves on it!--while I’m
-comparatively as hard as iron. I could drop you out of the window, one
-after the other, or all together, with the greatest ease.”
-
-Audrey touched my arm.
-
-“Norah, don’t talk like that.”
-
-“I am only putting a purely supposititious case, my dearest Audrey.
-What is more, if any of you were to seek to stay me with so much as a
-word, when those men come I’d make my complaint to them; then you’d
-see what it means for a man to be bewitched by a woman. At a word from
-me there’s nothing they would not do. I’ve but to raise my finger, and
-they’d cast what you call decency to the winds. Then you’d see the
-natural man; it would surprise you. They’re just my slaves. And now
-that I have made the position clear to you, and my intentions plain, I
-shall have much pleasure--in leaving you the room.”
-
-I left it. I fancy I left them in rather a curious frame of mind as
-well.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XII.
- MISS NORAH’S SOLILOQUY
-
-I do not know that I was wholly proud of myself as I went up to my
-room--not even so proud as I had led those dear creatures in the
-drawing-room to suppose. I imagine I must really be an odd kind of
-creature, because I am not at all sure that it is not vulgar to make
-man, either in a general or particular sense, the entire end and
-object of their existence, as so many women--who think themselves very
-far from vulgar--do. To be perfectly frank, I have no opinion whatever
-of man. Perhaps that is because he has none of me. Up to the present,
-he emphatically does not seem to have. But that only places me in the
-position of the onlooker who sees most of the game. I have seen some
-games, I give you my word for it. And I have come to the conclusion
-that man is useful, in his way; generous, sometimes; of service,
-occasionally, as a husband and a father; and that, as a sort of
-courier, or Cook’s conductor, looking after the wants, ways, and whims
-of women, not altogether to be despised. But he is frightfully earthy,
-and has a most amazing conceit of himself. And why so many
-women--delightful, charming women--should spend their whole lives in
-endeavouring to please him, and swell with pride when they fancy they
-have succeeded in doing so--that is beyond my comprehension.
-
-I was not so clear as I should like to have been that there was not a
-smack of vulgarity about my passages with those five men. It was
-undeniably vulgar to crow, as if I had done something to crow about;
-and I was uncomfortably conscious of a tendency towards an attitude of
-mind which I should describe as cock-a-doodle. Because, after all,
-what had I done? Simply caused those five men to behave with peculiar
-and unpardonable rudeness to my mother and sisters, and--well, not too
-nicely towards me. For I could not regard it as a compliment that they
-should hustle each other, and nearly snap each other’s nose off, in
-their eagerness for my society. Or, rather, if it were a compliment,
-it was not the kind I cared for. At least, I did not think it was.
-
-Yet--it was amusing. Really funny. When I thought how silly and
-awkward those men had looked, and of the nonsense they had talked, and
-of each one’s ridiculous anxiety to appropriate me to himself, I put
-my hands up to my face and laughed. And then mamma’s and the girls’
-faces! their undignified attitudes of disgust, bewilderment, wonder!
-Oh, dear me, how I did laugh! If they had heard me downstairs they
-must have been convinced that my brain really was unhinged at last.
-When I had finished laughing, it did not seem as though I had enjoyed
-the joke enough. I jumped up, picked up the hem of my skirt, and
-jigged about the room. I am big and clumsy, and I daresay I do not
-dance well, but, just then, I danced to please myself. And I pleased
-myself immensely. It was as though I had suddenly become inspired by
-the conviction that I was the most delightful creature in the world.
-It was absurd. I realised at the time it was absurd. But there was the
-conviction, all the same. And if a girl cannot think well of herself
-when she has bowled over five men, as if they were nine-pins, when can
-she? I have known a four foot six woman carry herself as if she were
-six foot four, merely because some whippersnapper of a boy has asked
-her to dance twice in a single evening.
-
-Besides, I was not certain that my estimate of myself was so very
-absurd.
-
-“All the money I have in the world,” I exclaimed aloud, “is
-two-and-eightpence-halfpenny. I would like to bet every farthing of
-it, that if a man--I don’t care what man, any man--saw me now he’d
-fall head over heels in love with me at sight.”
-
-As I looked in the glass I felt convinced that my money would be
-perfectly safe. I knew it--was sure of it, in fact. As I observed the
-image which was mirrored there, something told me--I don’t pretend to
-know what, but something did--that there was not a man breathing who
-would not desire--with a pretty strong desire too--to stand well in
-my--I will call them on this occasion only--fair eyes. It was a
-singular feeling, the more so since it amounted to absolute
-conviction. I am not conceited--my worst enemy has never called me
-that. For one thing, I have never had anything to be conceited about.
-But then I knew, knew! that no man could look at me without desiring
-me. And in my time such numbers of men have looked at me only to wish
-that I was at Jericho, or that they were.
-
-It did seem so odd. And it was a queer sensation. I felt as if I had
-all at once become possessed of some strange, occult, man-compelling
-power. And I believe I had. That unfinished sentence was still upon
-the dressing-table. I picked it up, and looked at it, and wondered.
-
-Something about it caught my eye. Before, it had read, “You shall have
-your wish u--,” and there had stopped. Since I saw it last an “n” had
-been added; so that it now read, “You shall have your wish un--.” Was
-the sentence still to be completed? If so, what form would it have in
-its perfect state?
-
-What had I been wishing? That every man might fall in love with me at
-sight? Well! was that the one which was to be granted? The
-gratification of such a wish could hardly fail to provide one with
-entertainment. And I had had so little entertainment in my time. Was I
-the victim of hallucination? or the heroine of an up-to-date fairy
-tale? It did not matter, so long as the hallucination was substantial
-enough; or the fairy tale as amusing as this one bade fair to be. Let
-me see: the baker’s boy, the shop-walker, the hairdresser, and these
-five men. Unmistakably these persons had suddenly seen attractions in
-me which they had not observed before. To bag eight men during a few
-fleeting minutes of a single forenoon was not bad sport. And the
-miscellaneous character of the bag was not the least satisfactory part
-of it. If matters proceeded as they had begun, there could be no doubt
-whatever that I should be provided with sufficient entertainment.
-
-In the meantime I must not forget that I was to dine with these five
-gentlemen. It seemed to me to be rather a large order. I never had
-dined with a gentleman except in company with members, feminine
-members, of my own family. And now to be about to dine alone with
-five! And such a five!
-
-“I cannot say, whatever may be their feelings towards me, that I am
-the least bit in love with them.” That, to myself, I frankly admitted.
-“As for Major Tibbet, he’s a person for whom I have no kind of use,
-and never should have. Yet it seems that he is to be my principal
-host, at least as far as the dinner is concerned. I should like to
-know what he fancies he likes in me, since I dislike everything he
-likes, himself included. Let’s hope that he won’t go on to the theatre
-with us afterwards. The proceedings at the theatre bid fair to be
-peculiar. Let me figure it out. Mr Carter has a box, and Mr Purchase
-hopes to have one. I wonder what will happen if he finds that there
-isn’t one to be had? Will they come to blows? or will they behave like
-sensible beings, and agree to share a box--and me? That would
-certainly be the more reasonable course to pursue. Though I quite
-understand that when a man has a box all to himself, and a girl alone
-in it, there are things which he can say with greater ease. I wonder
-where Mr Hammond’s stall is, and Mr Rumford’s. It is devoutly to be
-hoped that they are outside stalls, and that each is not the centre of
-a different row. In that case it must be distinctly understood that
-the transfer of me is to take place at the end of each act, because if
-they attempt to haul me from one stall to another in the middle of a
-scene, there’ll be a scene. Indeed, I think it’s probable there’ll be
-a scene in any case. Because when the people see me being passed from
-one man to another, and the four men who haven’t me glaring at the one
-who has--and I’m afraid they will glare--they’ll begin to take an
-interest in what is going on, so that the traffic of the stage may
-suffer. I am convinced that I shall be sufficiently entertained.”
-
-A thought occurred to me, which would have occurred to a sensible girl
-at the very first. But I am not a sensible girl, and in particular I
-was very far from feeling sensible just then! So that it only came to
-me at the tag end, as it were, and then with a sort of a kind of a
-shock.
-
-“What shall I wear? There’s the black, and the white, and the blue;
-and they none of them suit me, and they’re all of them old; and I
-believe that each of them stands in need of repairs. So the outlook’s
-promising. Now, if my fairy godmother were to clothe me all over with
-sumptuous raiment, as she did Cinderella, in this the hour of my
-triumph, that would be something like. I’d dazzle them, that I would.
-But as that is not likely to happen, I shall have to consider in which
-of the relics I call my evening gowns I look least beastly.”
-
-I spread all three out upon the bed. And I did not like the look of
-either. In fact, I objected vigorously to them all. And I always had
-done, that was the best of it. But until that moment I had not cared
-much; and no one else had cared either; so it had not mattered. I
-picked up the black and turned it round and round.
-
-“I believe black tones me down, and I have been told that I need a
-deal of toning, so perhaps to put myself inside it would be
-discretion. But the thing never has fitted me, the bodice holds my
-arms down to my sides like a straight-waistcoat; I’ve torn the skirt
-three times away from the gathers; it’s only clinging to them now with
-the aid of a row of pins. So if anyone were to put his arms about
-me,--which, of course, isn’t for a moment to be thought of--but I have
-heard that things do happen! There might be a demand for sticking
-plaster, which I could not possibly supply.”
-
-I put down the black, and took up the white.
-
-“The last time I wore this thing a man tore about three yards off the
-back and never begged my pardon. It was white; but I think that the
-moment has almost arrived to begin to call it cream, or écru, or,
-perhaps coffee-coloured would be the more appropriate word. If it were
-not that it is all in rags it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a work of art
-getting into it, and when I am in I am never sure how much of me is
-out. In a dress of this sort you want to see both back and front.
-You’re always haunted by the consciousness that other people can,
-although you can’t. I’m afraid it mustn’t be the white; though I’m
-almost sure it’s the one I hate the least.”
-
-I proceeded to examine the blue.
-
-“Blue suits nearly everyone, except this particular shade of blue,
-which it is impossible to believe suits anyone. I know that when I am
-in it I look my very worst, and that is saying such a deal. I believe
-that that’s why mamma gave it to me. When there’s any article of
-wearing apparel in the house which no one will touch with a pair of
-tongs, it’s presented to me with a flourish, and I’m expected to be
-grateful. They have such a primitive way of regarding the matter! ‘You
-see,’ they say, ‘it’s of no consequence what you wear. You never look
-well in anything. So what difference can it possibly make!’ If I were
-to talk to them like that there’d be a clatter. To-night, at any rate,
-I will not wear the blue.”
-
-I tossed it back upon the bed.
-
-“For the rest, I’ve a gorgeous pair of scarlet silk stockings, which
-Lilian gave me once, in a fit of frantic generosity, because they were
-miles and miles and miles too big for her. But I haven’t any shoes
-which will go with them. I’ve one fairly decent petticoat, so long as
-you don’t look at it too close. And I’ve a lovely set of undies, I
-bought them myself with my very own money, because they looked so
-scrumptious! which I have never dared to wear. I will wear them if for
-this night only. I don’t think anything else is wanted, in particular.
-Which is just as well. Because I’m sure I haven’t got it if it is. Oh
-for that fairy godmother, and the most becoming things in the very
-latest fashion! Hollo! I wonder if that is the lady?”
-
-The query was prompted by the fact that just then there was a smart
-tapping at the door.
-
-“Who’s there?”
-
-It was not a fairy godmother; it was Jane, as was made clear by her
-turning the handle and disclosing herself in the doorway.
-
-“If you please, miss, can I be of any use to you?”
-
-“Any use to me? What do you mean?”
-
-“Well, Miss Norah, I heard that you was going out with them gentlemen;
-so I thought that perhaps you might like me to help you to dress.”
-
-I stared. I was unused to the ministrations of a maid, and had
-certainly not expected an offer of the kind from Jane, who was not in
-good odour with the heads of the family. Indeed, mamma was only
-keeping her on, because, under present circumstances, if she did go,
-we should be servantless.
-
-“How did you know that I was going out?”
-
-“Well, miss, you was all of you talking so loud, and the drawing-room
-door wide open, so that I couldn’t hardly help but hear. If you
-wouldn’t mind, I should like helping you, Miss Norah. If you’ll excuse
-my saying so, you never do seem to make the best of yourself somehow.
-In my last place there was two young ladies, and I used to help them
-often.”
-
-Jane had a free and easy way of speaking which suggested that in some
-of the places she had been in the servants had been permitted
-liberties. But I had a feeling that she was not a bad sort in her way.
-And then so few people ever do offer to do anything for me, that when
-anyone does I find it nearly impossible to refuse to let them.
-
-“Really, Jane, I don’t see how you can be of use to me. I’ve only a
-lot of old things to wear, which I’ve worn dozens and dozens of times
-before, and anyone could put them on blindfold.”
-
-“Pardon me, Miss Norah, but that’s just where you’re mistaken, as, if
-you’ll allow me, I very soon will show you. There’s a way of putting
-on even old things which will almost make people think that you’ve
-never had them on before. Your sisters, now, work wonders. They can
-make the same thing look as if it was twenty. I’m sure that I’ve often
-thought to myself that if they ever was to turn lady’s maids to a lady
-as wanted to make a large show on a little money, they’d be worth any
-amount, they would. I’ve never know anyone who made one dress to
-behave as if it was half-a-dozen, like they can.”
-
-I was not sure that I relished her manner of expressing herself. And
-when I recalled the spectacle she had herself presented on certain
-occasions when I had witnessed her sallying forth on her Sundays out,
-I was inclined to be more than dubious as to her capacity to make the
-best of me. Yet she seemed, too, so anxious to be of service, and so
-convinced that I should find her assistance of the greatest value,
-that I had not the heart to send her packing.
-
-Though I am nearly confident that I should have been wiser if I had.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIII.
- JANE
-
-Jane’s remarks, as she turned my wardrobe over and over, commenting
-on it critically as she did so, made it almost as clear as possible
-that in accepting her assistance I had been guilty of an indiscretion.
-Considering the position in which she was supposed to stand towards me
-there was a frankness about her which I felt was unbecoming.
-
-“Well, you haven’t got much to wear, and that’s a fact, look at it how
-you may; and what you have got I’ve seen you in till I should think
-you was sick of the sight; not that they amounted to anything, even
-when they was new.”
-
-As I was about to point out, with some severity, that observations of
-that kind were not likely to assist me to any material extent, she
-branched off at a tangent.
-
-“I was never out with five gentlemen all at once, not myself I wasn’t.
-The most I was ever out with was three; and as two of them started
-fighting before we’d gone very far you couldn’t hardly call that a
-success. They knocked each other about something cruel--at least, so I
-was given to understand. So far as I was concerned, I never so much as
-spoke to them again. Because I always have held, and always shall
-hold, that when two gentlemen start fighting about a lady out in the
-open street, right before her very eyes, as it were, they aren’t
-gentlemen--no, and never won’t be neither.”
-
-Though open to admit that her sentiments might do her credit, I could
-not perceive their application to the subject in hand. As I was about
-to drop a hint to that effect, she returned, with a frankness which I
-again found slightly embarrassing, to the subject of clothes.
-
-“Now, about underneath. I hold that’s it’s no good having a smart gown
-on if there’s nothing but rags inside. When a party lifts a scarlet
-satin skirt to show a torn petticoat, and, perhaps, an odd pair of
-stockings what’s all holes, she might fancy herself, but I never
-should. I say if it must be a torn petticoat, put it on outside, and
-the satin skirt underneath, it would be less deceiving. Now, miss,
-what was you thinking of wearing?”
-
-Jane had not a delicate touch. She framed her inquiries with a
-directness which was a little appalling. I explained--to her
-satisfaction. She was even pleased to be enthusiastic.
-
-“Now, if you could only wear them outside, and them wretched, shabby
-old dresses underneath, that would be something like. It’s a pity,
-miss, you can’t. Things like them is not meant to be hidden. About
-them scarlet stockings. As it just happens, I’ve got a pair of scarlet
-shoes. They was given me by a lady friend for whom they was too large,
-and they’re a bit too big for me. But they’re about the shade; and I
-should think, with a little management, they might fit you.”
-
-Some persons might resent such a remark as that. It did not sound
-complimentary. But I am too well aware that I am, in all respects,
-beyond the ordinary size of a woman, to be much affected by allusions
-to the fact. What I did not relish was the notion of getting into
-shoes which had been transferred from that lady friend to Jane. I
-wondered dimly what mamma and the girls would say, if it ever came to
-their ears that such a suggestion had been made. But Jane would listen
-to nothing. She seemed to have made up her mind to see me through--and
-see me through she would. Off she went to get those shoes.
-
-So soon as she was gone I meditated a plan for preventing her return.
-I did not want her shoes, and I did not want her assistance either. I
-was beginning to be fearful that I should be a bigger fright with her
-aid than without it. Had there been a key in the door, it would have
-been easy. But there was not. My bedroom lacked a good many things,
-one of them being a means of securing it against intruders. It was at
-the top of the house, right away from the others, on the same floor as
-the servants’; so that Jane had but to slip through my door, and
-across to hers.
-
-I did think of putting my foot against the door, and keeping her out
-like that; but it would have been a brusque method of proceeding, and
-might have hurt her feelings. After all, she meant well; and, as I
-have said, so few people ever did mean well towards me, that I found
-it exceedingly difficult to thwart them when the mood was on them.
-
-Some minutes elapsed before Jane returned. When she did, I was really
-not in a condition of costume to offer effective resistance of any
-kind. Time was passing. Mr Hammond had emphasised his request that I
-would not keep them waiting, but that I would be ready at a quarter to
-seven; so I was beginning to make as much haste as I could. Besides, I
-had a sort of feeling that it might be just as well to get through, at
-least, the initiatory stages, before Jane appeared; her observations
-did lean so strongly towards the side of candour.
-
-When she entered I was conscious of what I believe people call a
-qualm, though just what kind of qualm it was, I am not prepared to
-positively assert. She had not only in her hands a pair of scarlet
-shoes, but her arms were heaped up with what I had an intuitive
-perception were assorted specimens of her wardrobe. Did she propose to
-array me in her splendours? Was I to sally forth with five gentlemen
-to dinner in Jane’s attire? Were her clothes to flit from seat to seat
-in the Gaiety Theatre? Did she suppose that any of them would fit me;
-I was a head taller than she was? Her figure was what I should have
-described as weedy; I daresay she considered it elegant. My chest was
-as broad as a grenadier’s--horribly broad! Were not mamma and the
-girls intimately acquainted with nearly every article of clothing I
-possessed? Would they not instantly detect upon me the presence of an
-unaccustomed thing? Would not inquiries be promptly instituted as to
-where I got it from? Could I answer--Jane?
-
-That she was totally without suspicion that such questions could be
-chasing each other through my bosom, her observations quickly showed.
-
-“I think that, between us, miss, we shall make you look something
-like.”
-
-I had no doubt of that whatever; it was that which racked me.
-
-“It isn’t often that you do go out with five gentlemen, all at once,
-nor anyone else, for the matter of that; so that when you do go, it’s
-just as well that them five gentlemen should know that they’ve got
-someone with ’em as everyone was looking at.”
-
-I was not so sure of that, by any means. Momentarily it was becoming
-clearer that Jane’s point of view was scarcely mine.
-
-“A gentleman friend of mine, he likes colour--pink especial. He’d like
-to see me pink from head to foot, winter and summer, though for winter
-it always seems to me to be a trifle cool. I got that hat to suit him.
-Now, that’s what I call striking!” She held out the article in front
-of her. “If you try it on, you’ll find it’ll stand out on you. You try
-it on, Miss Norah.”
-
-I try it on!--Jane’s hat!--That hat! A shiver went all over me, which
-was not caused by my being at the moment lightly clad. Fortunately, I
-was not compelled to go to quite those limits, there was a loophole
-for escape.
-
-“You forget, Jane, that I shall not wear a hat, so I’m afraid it will
-be no use for me to try it on, especially as time is getting short.
-Though it’s awfully good of you to suggest it; I’m sure that in that
-hat I should look striking.”
-
-I was sure. It was a pink silk article, of the picture variety, with a
-big brilliant pink bow ornamenting it in front, and a huge pink
-feather running round it, and then drooping over the side. If I went
-out with that on my head, even the omnibus drivers would make remarks.
-
-Jane seemed to regret my unwillingness to try it on. Possibly, my
-disinclination to avail myself of her offer did not synchronise with
-her notions of feminine human nature.
-
-“I was forgetting, miss, as how you could not wear a hat. It seems a
-pity. I suppose it couldn’t be managed.”
-
-“I am afraid not. You see, I could hardly wear it at dinner; and if I
-did, they wouldn’t let me into the theatre with it afterwards.”
-
-She laid that nightmare in bilious pink on one side, with a sigh.
-
-“It do seem a pity, it really do! In that hat you’d be noticeable if
-you was with fifty gentlemen, let alone with five.”
-
-I was convinced of it. I told her so.
-
-“It’s tremendously nice of you to wish to eke out my odds and ends
-with your lovely things, Jane; but all the same I know I shouldn’t do
-justice to them, and I think I’d better stick to what is my own.”
-
-“And that’s where you’re wrong, miss--begging your pardon for saying
-so. Now, there’s a tri-coloured sash. I got it when there was them
-patriotic goings on, me having a cousin in the militia what got
-invalided home owing to his drinking habits. That’s something like a
-sash, that is. You wear it over your shoulder like them Oddfellows--I
-had a uncle what was one till he got three months for knocking his
-wife about. After that he joined the Salvation Army for a change--and
-then you tie it round your waist, and let it hang. It’s a foot wide,
-and there’s seven yards of it, so there’s plenty for hanging. It would
-show off one of them shabby old dresses of yours, that it would.”
-
-I realise the truth of this. Still--it was so very showy. The red hit
-you in the eye, the blue was another case of the wrong shade, the
-white, one could but hope, had seen whiter days. I could not see my
-way to imitating the Oddfellows and letting it hang. I broke it to her
-as gently as I was able.
-
-“It is showy. Certainly no one could help noticing me if I did have it
-on.”
-
-“I’d defy ’em.”
-
-“So would I. But I’m thinking of wearing my black; and, do you know,
-Jane, I’m inclined to believe that the less colour I wear the better.”
-
-“I believe in colour; it lights you up.”
-
-“Yes; it lights you up, but it would make me flare. You see, you have
-such a much more delicate figure than I have.”
-
-“I have been told that I’ve a delicate figure, and it’s no use my
-denying it. Still, I say this of colour--for everyone--it makes ’em
-stand out.”
-
-“It does. You’re quite right. Especially a red, white, and blue sash.
-There’s not a doubt of it.”
-
-“And what I say is, a woman wants to stand out, unless she’s a mere
-worm, and goodness knows that I’m no worm. The more she stands out the
-more she’s noticed--and, if she’s any opinion of herself, as she ought
-to have, notice is what she wants. Now here is something tasty--and
-full dress. That’s a opera cloak, that is, green silk with yellow
-stripes. That’s beaver trimming round the edges--real beaver. It’s a
-bit rusty here and there, but nothing to signify. I call it handsome.
-It was left to me by an aunt what died. She went about a good deal in
-society; her husband being a scene painter, and getting her orders for
-the theatre constant. Nights together she’d sit in the middle of the
-front row of the stalls in that very cloak, especially when business
-was a bit slack and they wanted the theatre to seem crowded as it
-were. Because, as I’ve been given to understand, people what pays
-won’t go to the theatre unless you can make ’em believe that they
-can’t get in. My aunt got to be known by that cloak. ‘The lady with
-the green silk opera-cloak with yellow stripes and beaver trimming’
-they used to speak of her as. I’ve only worn it myself two or three
-times, to dances and such like. Now it would set you off, that would.
-It’s a little short, perhaps, for you; but I’m told that they’re
-wearing them short just now.”
-
-It would scarcely have covered my shoulders; but there was a good deal
-too much of it, for all that.
-
-“Are they? You evidently are better posted in the fashions, Jane, than
-I am.”
-
-“I take in two fashion-books myself--leastways, there are fashions in
-them--and see seven.”
-
-“Do you? That explains it. It’s a wonderful cloak; but I have a cloak
-of my own, though it isn’t much of a one, and I really think I ought
-to wear it.”
-
-“There’s no ought about it, if you’ll excuse my saying so. You can
-wear my opera cloak, if you like, miss, and welcome.”
-
-“You’re very, very good, Jane. Suppose we wait till I have finished
-dressing, and then see how it goes.”
-
-“Very well, miss; as you please. But there’s one thing you’ll have to
-wear, and that’s those scarlet shoes. You told me yourself that you’d
-a pair of scarlet stockings, but no shoes to match ’em; so, as far as
-wearing these goes, it’s a case of have to.”
-
-Apparently it was. The scarlet shoes in question never had been of
-first-rate quality, and they were not exactly new. It seemed as if the
-“lady friend” had given them a fair trial before handing them on to
-Jane. But they were still presentable, and, plainly, in Jane’s
-opinion, beyond the possibility of reproach. I had refused her hat,
-her sash, her cloak. I had not the heart to add her shoes to the list
-of my refusals,--at any rate, without giving them a trial. And it was
-soon made clear that Jane’s ideas on the subject of a trial were
-thorough. I got into the stockings, but getting into the shoes was
-quite a different thing. She pushed, and I pushed; but the scarlet
-shoes continued to show reluctance to make the acquaintance of my
-feet. As usual, she commented on the fact in her somewhat painfully
-plain-spoken fashion.
-
-“Really, Miss Norah, you’ve got a man’s foot--you really have. Reminds
-me of a cousin of mine who always used to have his boots made
-specially for him, all on account of their saying that it took two
-pairs of anybody else’s boots to make him one. Used to work on a farm,
-he did, which, I have been told, causes the feet to spread.”
-
-“I don’t believe, Jane, it is that which has extended mine!”
-
-“It’s sure and certain something must have; because never before did I
-see so large a foot upon a lady’s leg, except my grandmother, what
-went off with dropsy, so that, when she died, her feet was like
-pumpkins. But these shoes have got to go on somehow, or else I’ll know
-the reason why.”
-
-It was not necessary for her to institute any inquiry into recondite
-causes--the shoes went on. With difficulty, it is true, but still they
-went. And being on, they proved to be not so tight as they might have
-been--that is, considering. When I think of some of the shoes into
-which my feet have been compressed, Jane’s might have been regarded as
-almost loose. She regarded the fruits of her labours with an air of
-triumph.
-
-“No mistake, you do fill them.”
-
-“I do. It has been my unfortunate experience, on several occasions, to
-have filled my shoes a little too completely.”
-
-“Can you walk in them?”
-
-I stood up to try. I found that I could, at present. Whether, after
-having worn them for an hour or two, locomotion might not become more
-difficult, was another story altogether.
-
-“I shouldn’t care to do a ten-mile tramp in them; but I think I can
-manage to do all the walking that’s likely to be required.”
-
-If the principal pedestrian exercise which I was likely to have to
-undergo consisted in passing from seat to seat at the Gaiety Theatre,
-I ought to be equal to that. Having once succeeded in getting me into
-her shoes, Jane became positively laudatory.
-
-“They look a fair treat--they do that; what with the stockings and the
-shoes together. They’re such a perfect match; you couldn’t have
-matched ’em better, not if you’d gone to a shop to do it.” That was
-true enough. “And you’re well-shaped, even if you are an extra size.”
-
-That also, from the bottom of my heart, I believed to be true; and, in
-my moments of most extreme despondency, I was wont to hug the
-conviction to my bosom. My feet might be large, but then I was large
-all over; they were not disproportionate; and I am almost convinced
-that, as Jane put it, they were well-shaped. Indeed, I will go
-further, and express my opinion that generally I am well-shaped. My
-limbs are as well moulded as any girl’s need be. I do not see why it
-should be such a tremendous drawback because the mould happened to be
-a little bit Titanic.
-
-I bent down--I had to bend some distance--and I kissed Jane.
-
-“You’re tremendously good to me, and I thank you awfully for lending
-me these very pretty shoes.”
-
-To my amazement, she burst out crying!
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIV.
- A QUARTER TO SEVEN
-
-At a quarter to seven we were still in what I should describe as the
-throes. I daresay that sentence is not perfect English, but it is
-exactly what I mean; and, so long as you have that, what does it
-matter?
-
-Jane had made such a mess of her crying, and I had found it so
-difficult to make out what the ridiculous creature was crying about;
-but it seemed that her young man had spoken to her with freezing
-coldness that very afternoon, and that, combined with the excitement
-of the discovery that, as she phrased it, I had put mamma’s and the
-girls’ noses “out of joint,” by walking off with their five young
-men--though you could hardly describe Major Tibbet as young--and the
-agitation occasioned her by my kissing her all of a sudden, had
-brought her to such a stage that she had to do it. So she did it,
-although, with all my heart, I wish she hadn’t.
-
-Her tears, and my efforts to understand their why and their wherefore,
-confused things dreadfully. Some of my things we got on inside out and
-some we did not get on at all. When we came to my hair, it was awful.
-We spent about twenty minutes in getting it into a mess, and
-half-an-hour in getting it out; Jane’s ideas on the subject of
-hairdressing were so original, and, when it came to the point, quite
-impracticable. At last, when it seemed to me that it must nearly all
-have been torn out by the roots, and my scalp was sore all over, we
-were confronted by the fact that we had about two seconds in which to
-make a satisfactory job of it.
-
-So then I took it in hand myself. I had had enough of Jane. I just
-gave it a twirl and a twist, and jabbed six hairpins into it, and it
-had to do. Jane’s opinion of the result was not enthusiastic.
-
-“Well, miss, I can’t say I think much of it--that I can’t. Looks as if
-you’d tried to make as little of it as you possibly could. In fact,
-you’ve screwed it that tight, it seems as if you hadn’t hardly any
-hair at all.”
-
-“When one comes to think of the handfuls you’ve pulled out, Jane----”
-
-“Miss Norah! I have not pulled out handfuls! It’s not fair to talk
-like that--that it’s not.”
-
-“Then half-handfuls, if you prefer it, Jane. Just look at that heap of
-hair upon my dressing-table; quite recently it was all upon my head.”
-
-“I’m sure, miss, I’m very sorry. I never thought you’d take it like
-this. I didn’t mean----”
-
-“That’s all right, Jane. What do a few hairs, more or less, matter?
-For goodness’ sake, don’t start crying again. Help me on with my
-bodice; and don’t try to induce me to put my right arm into the left
-sleeve.”
-
-As I have said, at a quarter to seven, we were still in the throes. It
-was a few seconds before that time when there came a loud rat-tat at
-the hall door. I quite jumped.
-
-“There they are!” I cried; “and I’m not ready!”
-
-“That you certainly are not, miss; nor nearly.”
-
-“I don’t know about nearly. I only have to be done up this side, and
-put something round my neck, and get my gloves on; and then I shall be
-ready.”
-
-Jane surveyed me through her tear-dimmed eyes, screwing up her lips in
-a way she had.
-
-“Well, miss, there’s ready and there’s ready. If I was going out to
-dine with five gentlemen, I shouldn’t think that I was nearly ready;
-not by a good deal, I shouldn’t. To me, considering, it don’t seem as
-if you had hardly got anything on.”
-
-There came some more hammering at the door; apparently those gentlemen
-were impatient.
-
-“It’s no good talking like that now. You must go down and let them in.
-I shall have to manage.”
-
-Jane’s manner was a mixture of resignation and acidity.
-
-“Very well, miss; as you please, miss. I’m sure I’ve done my best; I
-couldn’t do no more.”
-
-I felt convinced of it as she retired. Indeed, I had rather she had
-done less. Scarcely had she disappeared than Audrey entered. I stared,
-expecting that she was going to favour me with a few candid
-criticisms. But no one could have been nicer.
-
-“Well, child”--considering our relative sizes, the way in which they
-will persist in calling me child, is grotesque--“are you dressed for
-the great occasion? So Jane has been giving you the benefit of her
-assistance.”
-
-There was a smile on her face which made me feel for Jane.
-
-“It’s very good of her. She doesn’t seem to have much idea. She
-doesn’t pretend to be a lady’s maid; but she’s done her best.”
-
-In a comprehensive sort of way, Audrey looked me up and down. I felt
-as if every one of my weak points was hitting her in the face.
-
-“Candidly, Norah, you are a difficult child to dress. The mode and you
-will ever be at variance. You must have a mode of your own. You are
-like Michael Angelo’s statues--on the grand lines.”
-
-“I don’t know why you need laugh at me. I can’t help it.”
-
-“I’m not laughing. On the contrary, I’m not sure that if you were
-clothed, as you might be, that you wouldn’t be splendid.”
-
-“Audrey!”
-
-“But that is not an ideal dress for you; and you don’t seem as if you
-knew how to get into it, if it were. Come down to my room; let me add
-a touch or two to Jane’s.”
-
-At that moment Jane returned.
-
-“If you please, miss, them five gentlemen have come for you; and Mr
-Hammond’s compliments, and he hopes that you won’t keep them waiting.”
-
-Audrey looked at her quickly.
-
-“Did Mr Hammond send that message?”
-
-“Yes, miss; them was his own words.”
-
-Audrey turned to me, with a laugh that was half in earnest.
-
-“If I were you, Norah, I should return a message to Mr Hammond to the
-effect that he need not wait.”
-
-I hesitated, then spoke:
-
-“Thank you, Jane; there is no message.”
-
-When we got into Audrey’s room--she was awfully particular about
-keeping it all to herself, scarcely letting me inside it twice a
-year--I thought, as I always did, how pretty it was, especially
-compared to mine--she said something which took me aback.
-
-“Norah, I want to ask you a favour.” I stared at her askance. “Don’t
-suffer these gentlemen to be impertinent.”
-
-“As if I should! Do you think they’d dare?”
-
-“Child, don’t blaze. I don’t know what has got into men’s heads to
-make them mad; but I wouldn’t allow them to act as if you took their
-madness for granted. That message of Mr Hammond’s was not a very
-pretty one.”
-
-“I will make him smart for it.”
-
-“Do. A little smarting does some men much good.”
-
-Her slender fingers, moving about me here and there, worked wonders
-with my appearance. She lent me ribbons, laces, those odds and ends
-which a girl must have if she wants to be finished properly. And they
-were just the proper odds and ends, the delicate trifles which cost
-such lots of money. As I saw her handiwork in the looking-glass, I
-perceived that she was making me quite presentable.
-
-“I should like to take down your hair and do it all over again; but
-I’m afraid there isn’t time.”
-
-“I’m sure there isn’t. I don’t want to keep them waiting.”
-
-“My dear, you’re inexperienced. Don’t allow yourself to be influenced
-by any consideration of that kind; especially after the message which
-Mr Hammond permitted himself to request Jane to deliver. With some
-men, the worse you treat them, the better they treat you. ‘’Tis true,
-’tis pity; but pity ’tis, ’tis true.’ By the way, these gentlemen seem
-violently drawn towards you; are you equally drawn towards them?”
-
-“Not I.”
-
-“Not towards any one of them?”
-
-“Not towards any one of them. Shall I tell you what I think of them? I
-think----”
-
-“Ssh! I don’t think that, perhaps, you had better tell me what you
-think. It might be over--candid.” She smiled up at me in a way which
-made her look a perfect dream of loveliness. “Besides--they’re not
-all--ganders.”
-
-“Basil Carter isn’t--at least, I never should have guessed it.”
-
-“Nor I. It’s rather odd that we should be of the same mind upon that
-subject. There, now you look a little better; though, I tell you
-again, that you’re a difficult child to dress. Yet it might be worth
-one’s while to fashion for you a mode of your own. You are so--very
-splendid.”
-
-“Audrey, I do wish that you wouldn’t laugh at me!”
-
-“I repeat that I am not laughing. I don’t know, Norah O’Brady, if you
-are aware how excellent an opportunity you are about to have to show
-how badly you can behave. One girl--five men, each of them wishing the
-others were in Heaven. What a chance you’ll have of trampling on what
-they flatter themselves are their tenderest feelings. If you’re a
-sister of mine, trample on them, Norah, an you love me.”
-
-“I’ll try.”
-
-“At least, do try. Let me whisper in your ear. Above all,
-trample--with your heaviest tramp--on Basil Carter--not only on his
-feelings, but, if opportunity offers, on his very self. I’m much
-afraid that he’s the biggest gander of them all--and, Norah, I didn’t
-think so once.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XV.
- TRAMPLING UPON FIVE
-
-I cannot truthfully say that I felt exactly proud of myself as I
-marched down to the drawing-room. I met Eveleen coming up as I went
-down, and she looked flurried; then I met Lilian, and she looked more
-flurried still; and, lastly, at the foot of the stairs, mamma.
-Something told me that all three of them had been in the drawing-room
-to try to bring those men to a consciousness of shame. There was that
-in their bearing which hinted that they had not succeeded. Eveleen
-suggested a desire to shake me; Lilian an inclination to bite my nose
-off; and as for mamma, she received me in a state of fluster which
-spoke volumes.
-
-“You understand, Norah, that I have forbidden you to disgrace me, and
-I forbid you again!”
-
-I was just in a mood to melt, and had mamma adopted another tone, or
-even appealed to me to leave her Major Tibbet, I am nearly sure I
-should have melted. But when she spoke to me like that, of course,
-needles came out all over me, and I smiled as sweetly as I knew how.
-
-“Disgrace you, mamma? Why it was not necessary to forbid me to do
-that. I am sure you have brought me up too carefully to think it.”
-
-Somehow my soft answer did not seem to turn away mamma’s wrath.
-
-“Don’t be impertinent, miss! I command you to go into that room and
-dismiss those men!”
-
-“Certainly, mamma; if you will come with me.”
-
-She wavered, apparently she had just gone through a little passage in
-which she had been worsted.
-
-“I will come with you, but no nonsense, mind; without any unnecessary
-words you will dismiss them at once and finally.”
-
-I was just about to open the drawing-room door for mamma to enter,
-when Audrey came flying down the staircase. It certainly did seem,
-judging by the very first words she uttered, that she had been
-listening over the banisters.
-
-“Norah, stop! Mamma, don’t be unreasonable. Let her go!”
-
-Mamma stared. “Let her go! Alone! With those five men! After the way
-in which they have behaved! Audrey, are you mad?”
-
-“Really, mamma, to hear you talk one would think that none of us had
-ever been out with gentlemen alone. What harm will they do her? She’ll
-be as safe with them as she would with you. I’m sure they can be
-trusted. As the child says, she hasn’t had much fun; let her enjoy the
-streak that’s come her way. Now, Norah, in you go, and remember what I
-told you, trample on them for all you’re worth! And have a really good
-time, my dear! And, mamma, you come upstairs with me.”
-
-She pulled me down to her, and kissed me. We were not a kissing
-family--most emphatically not among ourselves! And to be kissed by
-Audrey, at such a moment! It had almost the same effect on me which
-mine had on Jane; only fortunately I had more sense than she had, and
-could exercise some self-control.
-
-Mamma went up the stairs with Audrey, as meek as a lamb--everybody
-gives in to Audrey--and I went into the drawing-room, conscious of a
-strong, and most unwonted disposition to be peacocky.
-
-They rushed at me the moment I showed my nose inside the door--all
-five.
-
-“You have kept us waiting,” began Mr Hammond. “I said at a quarter-to,
-sharp!”
-
-“And with dinner ordered punctually at seven,” went on the Major. “And
-with fish which will resent an instant’s delay.”
-
-I resolved to put a stop to that sort of thing at once. I waved them
-back with Audrey’s fan--she had lent me a beautiful black one, real
-lace. I felt equal to five thousand men at least, and quite capable of
-acting on the hint which she had dropped.
-
-“Please don’t come so close. I don’t like being crowded.”
-
-Mr Hammond proceeded to push the others back with his huge arms.
-
-“Now, you fellows, you annoy Miss Norah!”
-
-I caught his eye, and held it, in a fashion which, I fancy, caused him
-some slight embarrassment.
-
-“Mr Hammond, you sent me a message by the maid.”
-
-“A message? Really? Me? I may have done.”
-
-“You expressed a desire that I should not keep you waiting. I do not
-wish to do so. Please don’t wait.”
-
-“Miss Norah!--I--I don’t understand.”
-
-“I say, please don’t wait. Shall I ask Mr Carter to ring for the maid
-to open the door?”
-
-“Miss Norah!”
-
-His jaw dropped open. He displayed such unmistakeable signs of
-confusion, as well as contrition, that I proceeded to forgive him, in
-my own way.
-
-“I am not accustomed to being requested by gentlemen not to keep them
-waiting. Those whose acquaintance I care to have are only too glad to
-consider my convenience, they never dream of expecting me to consider
-theirs.”
-
-It was a dreadful story. And a horrid thing to say as well. But
-Audrey’s words were in my ears, I was bent on trampling. I had been
-trampled on so long.
-
-“So, if for any reason whatever you feel disposed to ask me to
-consider your convenience, pray say so at once, and Mr Carter will
-ring for the maid to open the door.”
-
-Never was man more profusely apologetic. To see him cringing--it
-really amounted to cringing--was a novel sensation for me. Never had a
-man apologised to me before--at least, to the best of my recollection
-and belief.
-
-“I am sure, Miss Norah, I beg ten thousand pardons. Nothing further
-from my mind than to consider myself, in any way; only too proud and
-happy to be allowed to consider you; quite a mistake if anything can
-have induced you to suppose the contrary. Fact is, I was thinking of
-the Major’s dinner.”
-
-“The Major’s dinner? What about the Major’s dinner?”
-
-“He ordered it at seven.”
-
-“Did he? And how does that interest you?”
-
-“It doesn’t--not at all!--not in the slightest!--not in the very least
-degree!--do assure you! Might I--might I venture to hope, Miss Norah,
-that you--you--you’ll do me the honour of accepting these few
-flowers?”
-
-Thereupon they all came crowding round me again, each with a floral
-offering.
-
-“Did I not ask you not to come too close? I do not care to be
-conscious of another person’s proximity.” They slunk back, like dogs
-before a whip. “I see, Mr Hammond, that you have camellias. I don’t
-like camellias. I think they’re vulgar. You might put them on the
-table. Nor do I care for stephanotis, I am obliged to you, Major
-Tibbet. Thank you, Mr Rumford, I have had some roses given me this
-afternoon, already. You might put them with the other flowers on the
-table. You are very good, Mr Purchase, but obviously Parma violets do
-not go with black. They suggest mourning. You can hardly wish me to go
-into mourning at the prospect of spending part of an evening with you.
-I am not sure, Mr Carter, that I care for lilies-of-the-valley either.
-They are not quite so bad as camellias, but they are a little wooden.
-Don’t you think so? Stay! Let me look at them. After all, they do go
-with black. Perhaps I will wear them, since there is nothing else to
-wear.”
-
-Even in my then mood it did seem incredible that they should endure my
-impertinence--worse, my ingratitude--and never show a sign of
-resentment. But something seemed to tell me that I might say and do
-exactly what I pleased, and they would still crouch at my feet, ready
-to endure anything rather than that I should not notice them at all. I
-was beginning, already, to understand what it is which makes a woman
-love the sense of power, the consciousness of being able to do as she
-likes with men. As is the case, I have heard, with some beggars on
-horseback, I was disposed to ride my steed for all it was worth, with
-cruel and scandalous disregard of the possibility of the poor brute’s
-breaking down upon the road.
-
-Pulling Mr Carter’s carefully-arranged little nosegay to pieces I
-tossed some of the lilies aside and pinned the rest against my
-bodice--the five watching me with a queer sort of speechlessness,
-which nearly moved me to laughter.
-
-“Now, let me understand what the programme is for this evening. Aren’t
-we to have some dinner?”
-
-Major Tibbet held both hands out in front of him as he replied:
-
-“I have ordered dinner at the King’s Restaurant--a sumptuous dinner,
-Miss Norah--at seven--exactly! It is already a quarter past--it will
-be spoilt!”
-
-“Will it? Then we will dine elsewhere.”
-
-“Dine elsewhere?”
-
-“Certainly. Where we are not likely to encounter black looks, and
-excuses, because we choose to be a little late.”
-
-“But--I shall have to pay in any case.”
-
-“Shall you? Mr Rumford, where do you propose that we shall dine?”
-
-He displayed a feeling for his fellow of which I chose to show myself
-incapable.
-
-“Well, Miss Norah, I gathered that the Major had arranged to dine at
-the King’s.”
-
-“At seven. But we can’t eat a seven-o’clock dinner at half-past; we
-want to have something fit to eat. Have you nothing, Mr Hammond, to
-suggest?”
-
-“I suggest, Miss Norah, what you suggest--absolutely. Entirely in your
-hands--only too delighted.”
-
-“And you, Mr Purchase, what do you say?”
-
-“I would remind you, Miss Norah, that you accepted Major Tibbet’s
-invitation to dine at the King’s.”
-
-“Indeed! When you are a little older, Mr Purchase, you will learn that
-women sometimes change their minds.” He was about ten years older than
-I was, and had perhaps had ten times as much experience; but those
-were trifles light as air. “Are you void of ideas, Mr Carter?”
-
-“You must dine at the King’s Restaurant, Miss Norah.”
-
-“Must? You use rather an odd word. Must?”
-
-“Perhaps I had better have said that you will dine at the King’s
-Restaurant, Miss Norah. Having made an engagement, a lady keeps it.”
-
-After the way in which he--indeed, in which they all--had behaved, the
-idea of his talking to me like that was good. Taking no notice of him,
-whatever, I crossed to Mr Hammond.
-
-“You appear to be the most agreeable and obliging person present. Will
-you give me some dinner at Dupont’s? I never have dined at Dupont’s,
-but have often thought that I should like to.”
-
-“Too charmed--only too charmed!”
-
-“Thank you so much. These gentlemen can dine with Major Tibbet at the
-King’s, where we’ll hope that they’ll enjoy their meal.”
-
-I took the arm which Mr Hammond offered, and the others came rushing
-to the front. Mr Carter, in particular, was most eloquent.
-
-“Miss Norah, what have we done that you should desert us? You promised
-that you would be our guest--our co-guest.”
-
-I put into my voice and words as much impertinence as I possibly
-could.
-
-“I like your manners so little that I really cannot fancy you as one
-of my hosts, Mr Carter.”
-
-“I only ventured to remind you that you had accepted----”
-
-“No excuses, or explanations; I dislike both. If I consent to still
-suffer you near me, please understand that to-night I am above the
-law. My whims are to be paramount; my most transitory wish your chief
-desire. I may change my mind a hundred times; each time you’re at once
-to change yours too. Nor are you to so much as hint that I was ever in
-another mind. It does not follow because I tell Mr Hammond that I’ll
-dine with him at Dupont’s that I will--or that I’ll dine at all. In
-five minutes I may be in fifty moods. If you desire to question any
-one of them, please do not inflict your company on me. It is not the
-manner which I care for in a host of mine. Mr Hammond, at the present
-moment I am disposed to dine with you at Dupont’s. If these gentlemen
-choose, and know how to behave, it may be that they can dine there
-too.”
-
-I went out of the room on Mr Hammond’s arm. The others came after us,
-with faces which were a little black. It was just possible that Major
-Tibbet was thinking of the bill which he would have to pay for the
-uneaten dinner at the King’s Restaurant. I have heard that for quite
-ordinary repasts their charges were enormous. Under the circumstances
-it could not have been pleasant for him to reflect that he had
-commanded them to do their very best.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVI.
- THE DINNER WHICH FAILED
-
-It was rather a shock to discover that I was expected to travel with
-those five men in an omnibus. It was one of the private sort, and
-there were two men in livery; but it was an omnibus. I quite started
-when I got outside the front-door and saw it there.
-
-“Dear me!” I exclaimed. “Am I supposed to ride in an omnibus? I can’t
-bear omnibuses.”
-
-Mr Hammond was inclined to stammer.
-
-“It’s--it’s--it’s a private omnibus.”
-
-“Is it? How interesting. Am I intended to consider that fact
-interesting? Was I expected to take it for granted that I should be
-required to ride in a public omnibus, among the penny fares?”
-
-Mr Hammond was inclined to stammer still more.
-
-“Fact is, six rather awkward number--never heard of a carriage that
-would hold them all.”
-
-“Two might have gone on the box, or even three. Then there is such a
-thing as a coach. A coach holds six.”
-
-“Coach and four?”
-
-“Or even a coach and three, if four was considered extravagant.”
-
-“Idea of coaching to dinner in town never struck me. Don’t know why.
-Sporting notion--very. Afraid it would take some time to get one now.”
-
-“Since you were so careless as not to have one ready, I cannot
-possibly wait while you repair your negligence. I must endeavour to
-make the best of your private omnibus.”
-
-It is some distance from Kensington to Dupont’s Restaurant--which is,
-of course, in Regent Street--so that it took some time to drive. I do
-not know what kind of thing those five men had been looking forward
-to, but it was some satisfaction to feel that I was making each one of
-them about as uncomfortable as he could be made. I was in a pretty
-mood--I really was. It was amazing that they did not get out in a
-body, and leave me to occupy that omnibus all by myself. I had heard
-of what men will endure from some women. I had an object-lesson then.
-I knew, somehow, that it made no difference how I treated them. They
-would still be my humble, obedient, devoted slaves. When a girl has
-that feeling, for the very first time, it is a little tempting.
-
-I decided that they were not a bad good-looking crowd. No girl need be
-ashamed of being seen with them. Mr Carter and Mr Purchase were
-distinctly handsome--though they were looking glum. Walter Hammond was
-not so bad, though he was lanky. As he would himself have phrased it,
-there was a sporting something about him of the right sort. Then his
-clothes fitted him as mine never would fit me; and when he had his
-eyeglass in his eye he looked quite striking. Mr Rumford was a trifle
-puffy, and he suggested trade--though nothing quite so bad as Aunt
-Jane’s Jalap. But then he was so plainly redolent of money that he
-passed muster. And then Major Tibbet was obviously someone--if only
-because he looked such a little horror.
-
-Conversation languished. That was owing to me. When we had gone some
-distance Mr Rumford took out his watch.
-
-“I am afraid we shall be late for the theatre. Piece begins at eight.
-Half-past seven now.”
-
-“I presume that we have reserved seats. As they will be retained for
-us it doesn’t matter what time we occupy them.”
-
-“Quite so--only, it disturbs the audience going in in the middle of
-the piece.”
-
-“Really?”
-
-That remark, from me, put a period to that topic. It made it so clear
-that to me it was a matter of the most complete indifference whether
-the audience was, or was not, disturbed. As a rule, I think it is
-horrid for people to come in late--so ill-bred--it upsets everyone.
-But I had a point of view for that night only.
-
-I made another observation, when it seemed that you could have cut
-with a knife the silence which ensued.
-
-“Is this a funeral party? Has the weight of our feelings made us dumb?
-Can’t any of you say something?”
-
-That kind of remark always afflicts people’s tongues with a sort of
-paralysis. I was perfectly well aware of it. That was why I made it.
-They stumbled through some idiotic efforts to clothe with words ideas
-which they did not happen to possess just then. Then I created a
-diversion.
-
-“I believe I would rather not dine at Dupont’s. I think I’ve heard
-stories about it which show that it is not quite the place for ladies.
-It seems strange that Mr Hammond should have made the suggestion.”
-
-“Excuse me, Miss Norah, the suggestion----”
-
-“Yes?”
-
-I knew that he was about to say that it came from me. But I stopped
-him in time. Then he stopped himself--rather neatly.
-
-“The suggestion--was--only a suggestion.”
-
-“It is a pity that it got even as far as a suggestion. Can you not
-tell us of some place, Mr Rumford, where it’s respectable?”
-
-“They feed you decently at the Imperial.”
-
-“Then by all means let us go where they feed you decently.”
-
-So we descended at the Imperial Hotel. We asked for a private room.
-There was an entrance hall, with a good many people in it. As we
-passed through we roused rather a sensation. I do not think that the
-women admired me--they could not possibly like my dress, nobody could,
-and there was nothing else about me to like--but on some of the men I
-believe I made an impression, of rather a peculiar kind. Of course I
-never looked at any of them. A lady never looks at a strange man. I
-hope I never should forget myself to that extent. But I noticed them
-all the same; and they all of them looked at me, in some cases in a
-somewhat singular way. Some of them had ladies with them; and in those
-cases I was convinced that the ladies--who were a thousand times
-better dressed than I was, and were so much prettier--did not entirely
-relish the manner in which their attendant cavaliers were eyeing me.
-And I suspected that my five men did not altogether like it either; so
-that it was rather amusing on the whole.
-
-The dinner was not a complete success. I really could not say it was,
-especially at the beginning. To commence with, Mr Purchase and Mr
-Carter did not put in an appearance in that private room for two or
-three minutes after us, and I had a kind of persuasion that they had
-remained behind to say a few words to two gentlemen who had regarded
-me with marked attention. When they came Mr Purchase looked red and Mr
-Carter white. I wondered what had passed, and should have liked to
-have made inquiries. But at the moment I did not see how I could do so
-with appropriate delicacy.
-
-There seemed to be a spirit of mischief in that private room which was
-bent on setting us at cross purposes. They showed a tendency to snap
-at each other’s noses, which, remembering that I was the only lady
-present, was not nice manners; though, of course, it had its
-entertaining side. An imposing personage--a manager, or head waiter,
-or something--had followed us into the room, and with a tablet in his
-hand, stood prepared to take our orders, which it seemed that nobody
-was quite prepared to give. There was a general disinclination to
-order the various dishes which together go to make a dinner, which was
-slightly embarrassing, and was the cause of some little discussion.
-Under the circumstances, I cannot see how the imposing personage was
-to blame for taking the matter a good deal out of their hands. Even if
-he did it with a certain air of deference to me, I cannot admit that
-he ignored them altogether, or that he drew up the plan of a dinner in
-which they were not suffered to have a voice. Therefore when, having
-completed the order for the meal, he withdrew, I was astonished to
-hear the remarks of which he was the subject. Major Tibbet drew
-himself to his full height--which, after all, is not much--blew his
-nose--which I do not believe required blowing--and flourished his
-handkerchief--which was of salmon-coloured silk--in the air.
-
-“Fellow’s too big for his place!”
-
-To my surprise the others followed in a chorus which pointed to their
-being, for the first time, in agreement with the Major.
-
-“A good deal too big,” declared Mr Rumford; “and he forgets his
-place.”
-
-“Too much mouth,” was Mr Hammond’s cryptic utterance. “Wants riding on
-the snaffle.”
-
-Mr Purchase’s comment was easier to understand; and, perhaps, on that
-very account, more acidulated.
-
-“Some of the jacks-in-office you meet in places of this sort are
-insufferable.”
-
-Mr Carter echoed him, with an addition of his own.
-
-“The amazing part of it is the way in which they are suffered.”
-
-“But,” I observed, with all the innocence at my command, “why are you
-finding fault with him? I thought him most attentive.”
-
-“There is such a thing,” returned the Major, seesawing himself on his
-toes and heels in a way I hate, “especially in a fellow in his
-position, as being too attentive.”
-
-“But I thought that it was the special business of persons in his
-position to be attentive, that that was what they were there for, and
-that the more attentive they were the better.”
-
-“There are ways _and_ ways of being attentive, Miss Norah.”
-
-This was Mr Carter. He looked really angry. I had not a notion why.
-
-“I rather liked his way,” I said.
-
-I could see that words were trembling on Mr Carter’s lips. The five
-exchanged glances, the meaning of which was beyond my comprehension.
-The door opened; in came the imposing personage followed by two of his
-understrappers. Mr Carter looked him full in the face.
-
-“You needn’t wait.”
-
-The personage seemed surprised, as was not unnatural.
-
-“Pardon me, sir, I am the manager of the private rooms.”
-
-“I say that you need not wait.”
-
-“Very well, sir, as you please; but I am no waiter.”
-
-Yet he acted as if he were a waiter, which did seem a little
-impertinent. But he managed with such dexterity, that, without an
-actual scene, it would have been difficult to keep him out of the
-room.
-
-People in his position nearly always are good-looking, after a fashion
-of their own, which is a fashion I detest. As regards looks he was
-certainly up to the average of his kind; indeed, I should have said a
-good deal above it, only the expression of opinion would not have been
-popular just then. He was an enormous man, perhaps six foot three or
-four, with tremendous width across the chest, and the most magnificent
-moustache. It was the finest moustache I had ever seen, and curled up
-at the ends in a way which made you keep on wondering how he did it.
-He had fair hair which curled naturally, and was parted in the middle,
-and the bluest eyes. Of course he was a German; and when you paused to
-think that his compatriots could afford to allow such a man as he was
-to go abroad and be a waiter, and never notice his absence, then you
-began to understand how it is that Germany bids fair to take her stand
-in the highest places.
-
-At the same time, his conduct did make the position seem a trifle
-strained, even more strained than it would have been without him,
-which was saying something. He might call himself the manager of the
-private rooms; but, despite Mr Carter, he succeeded in combining with
-his management a good deal of personal attention to me,--and that with
-an air which reminded me irresistibly of the shop-walker and the
-barber; and which I saw quite plainly brought my own five men nearly
-to the boiling point.
-
-For my own part, I do not care what I eat. But when I am eating I do
-not like to feel that at any moment plates may be thrown about. I had
-the feeling throughout that dinner. A note of discord was in the air,
-in fact, several notes. My companions grumbled at all the dishes,
-regardless of my presence. They reviled the meal as a whole, and in
-its several parts, declining to admit that it had a single redeeming
-feature. One is bound to confess that that private room manager’s
-demeanour was in striking contrast to that of his guests. They did
-nearly everything, short of throwing things at his head. He, on the
-other hand, was imperturbability itself; to me, the soul of
-politeness. And though he looked as if he could have knocked all their
-heads together, he listened to the nasty things they said--and they
-said some nasty ones--with a smile which never faltered for a single
-second.
-
-The climax came with the bill. Major Tibbet approached the subject in
-a style which I had not supposed was customary when a lady was
-present.
-
-“I suppose we are going to the theatre; and its certainly no use our
-lingering over this travesty of a Christian meal. I must apologise to
-you, Miss Norah, for what you have suffered; but I trust you will do
-me the justice to admit that the fault is hardly mine.”
-
-“Thank you; I have enjoyed my dinner very much.”
-
-“Dinner? You call it dinner? Really, Miss Norah, you allow your
-goodness of heart to carry you too far. I don’t know which was worse,
-the food itself, the way in which it was prepared, or the service.”
-
-They followed one after the other.
-
-“The service in particular was bad.”
-
-“Shocking. Never saw worse. Stable boy could have done better.”
-
-“Perhaps we have been unfortunate in our attendants.”
-
-“There is no perhaps in the case. We have been.”
-
-Then came my postscript.
-
-“I thought the service excellent.”
-
-“To have pleased madame is very much.”
-
-That manager of the private rooms favoured me with a bow and a smile,
-for which--from the expression of their countenances--I should
-scarcely have been surprised if they had attacked him tooth and nail.
-The Major spluttered.
-
-“I suppose there is something to pay--though we have had practically
-nothing. Waiter,”--with an accent on the “waiter,”--“let us know at
-once what there is to pay.”
-
-The personage retired, presently to return with a document which he
-placed before the Major. The Major’s face at sight of it was a study.
-
-“What! This! For such a meal! Monstrous, absolutely monstrous! Rank
-robbery, nothing else.”
-
-He passed the document round the table. By each it was commented on
-with equal freedom, which was nice for me, who had consumed the repast
-to the charge for which my hosts objected to with so much vigour. The
-imposing personage’s attitude made it even nicer.
-
-“These gentlemen object to the bill?”
-
-“Object? I should think we do object. We object very much to being
-robbed.”
-
-“If these gentlemen do not wish to pay the bill they need not. We
-shall not try to make them, not at all. We will make them a present of
-the food, the wine, the service, everything. Only--they will not be
-served in the house again.”
-
-That, as I have said, was the climax. The bill was paid. My hosts did
-not propose to allow themselves to be regarded as recipients of
-charity. That manager of the private rooms showed, as I quitted the
-apartment, that his temper was still unruffled.
-
-“Madame will permit that I offer her a flower.”
-
-He held out a white rose. I placed it among Basil Carter’s
-lilies-of-the-valley. I sincerely trusted that Audrey had never seen
-such an expression on Mr Carter’s face. To me it looked like murder.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVII.
- THE BROWN MAN
-
-I was enjoying myself pretty fairly, taking it altogether. I wished
-I was better dressed. It made me wild to see women in such lovely
-things. Not that I envied them their clothes. I can safely say that
-about a good many of them, that was all there was to envy; and, after
-all, clothes are not quite everything. But it was disgusting that I
-should be so dowdy. And the consciousness was forcing itself on me
-momentarily more and more, that Jane’s shoes were tight, even for
-shoes. Still, there were alleviations. It was not so unpleasant as one
-might think, to feel that five grown men were hanging on your
-skirts--even if they were not in the latest fashion--as if it was
-painful to be more than a yard or so away from you. The ill-concealed
-fury with which they resented the interest which I roused in the
-breasts of other men was not without its amusing side.
-
-There could be no doubt that I did arouse interest, not the very
-slightest. As we passed through the hall to the omnibus--that
-undignified vehicle!--I accidentally dropped Audrey’s fan--at least,
-almost accidentally. I ought not to have dropped it, because it was a
-lovely fan, and it was awfully good of Audrey to lend it me, and it
-might have been damaged by the fall. But it was not; it fell on the
-carpet, and was not hurt a bit. And I could not help but drop it. The
-men of the hall looked at me in one kind of queer way, and the women
-looked at me in another, so I felt bound to try an experiment; and
-down went the fan.
-
-The result was most surprising. In an instant every male creature
-there came rushing to pick it up, guests and attendants. It was so
-odd; and not the least odd part of it was the faces of the women. I
-doubt if some of them had ever been more astonished in their lives
-before, or angrier. For every one of them to be deserted, without a
-moment’s warning, for a dowdily-dressed girl’s fan--and, oh dear! I
-did not need their critical glances to tell me I was dowdy--was a
-trifle marked. There was quite a scramble to pick up Audrey’s fan. It
-ran more risk of being damaged in the scrimmage than by the fall.
-
-“I am sorry to give you all so much trouble,” I murmured.
-
-But they did not seem to mind in the least. They appeared, if
-anything, to like it.
-
-The fan was returned to me by a man who was really better-looking than
-that manager of the private rooms--at least, in my opinion. And he had
-as fine a moustache, though there was not such an ostentatious
-quantity of it, and it stood out straight at either end in the
-daintiest way. He was what I should call a brown man, with a pair of
-eyes which positively laughed at you. He had on a white waistcoat,
-which fitted him like a glove, and was both a dandy and a man.
-
-He stood in front of me, with Audrey’s fan in his hand, and something
-in his eyes which sent a thrill all over. I fancy it must have been
-because he looked so masterful.
-
-“It is very good of you to take so much trouble. I am very awkward.”
-
-“I am very fortunate.”
-
-That was all he said. I do not think I ever heard a more musical voice
-in a man. With a graceful movement of his handsome head he handed me
-the fan. But he did not move. And, somehow, I did not seem to mind his
-continuing to stand there with his eyes looking into mine. But my
-escort did. The Major began to fuss.
-
-“Now, are we going to that theatre or are we not? Because, if we are,
-we shall have to make haste if we want to get there before the piece
-is over.”
-
-The procession continued towards the door, the men giving way to let
-us pass, following me with their eyes in a manner which was
-pronounced. I was conscious that the women also were following me with
-their eyes, in a manner which was equally pronounced, in an entirely
-different sense. I knew they were picking me to pieces, failing to see
-anything in me of any sort or kind, and disapproving of me most
-heartily. But I was also aware that the brown man was coming after us
-towards the door. As we were climbing into the omnibus he stood on the
-top of the steps, out in the open street, and watched us. When Mr
-Hammond told the coachman to drive to the Gaiety Theatre I felt sure
-he heard. He gave a little inclination of his head as we drove off
-which as good as said he did.
-
-In the omnibus the atmosphere was not less charged with electricity
-than it had been before. Indeed, I should have said that it even more
-inclined to give off sparks. As soon as we had started, Mr Carter
-observed, with his very sweetest air:
-
-“There seem to be a great many impertinent persons about to-night.”
-
-I knew he had the brown man in his mind’s eye. He had glared at him
-throughout.
-
-“One does meet impertinent persons sometimes. Occasionally one even
-goes out with them.”
-
-He looked as if he could have said a good deal, but he managed to
-refrain. The others, apparently, were warned by his fate; they joined
-him in an ominous silence. So I went on, sweetly:
-
-“What a handsome man that head-waiter was, wasn’t he? And wasn’t he
-big? I couldn’t see what fault you had to find with him, I thought he
-was most attentive; and it was nice of him to give me this rose. One
-values small attentions from persons in his position.”
-
-I thought that that most innocent remark would have had the effect of
-a lighted match dropped into a barrel of gunpowder. But I was
-mistaken. They all, with one accord, persisted in saying nothing at
-all. I knew that they thought the more. Still, their dumbness had an
-effect which was disconcerting. I was just beginning to wonder if I
-was to spend the evening in the society of a company of deaf-mutes,
-when a remark from Mr Hammond loosed their tongues in earnest.
-
-“By the way, about sitting in the theatre, you’ll sit with me first,
-won’t you, Miss Norah? Now say you will?”
-
-Mr Rumford interposed, before I could reply:
-
-“That sort of thing is contrary to our agreement, Mr Hammond, entirely
-contrary. Personal appeals were expressly forbidden. We arranged the
-order in which the sitting was to be; and by that arrangement you
-undertook to stand.”
-
-“That’s all very well, but according to that arrangement she was to
-sit first with you.”
-
-“Precisely. Which makes my astonishment the greater that you should
-attempt to upset it.”
-
-“And afterwards with Purchase.”
-
-Then came Mr Purchase’s turn.
-
-“Quite so; after sitting for twenty minutes with Mr Rumford.”
-
-“And then with Carter.”
-
-“Perfectly correct.” This Mr Carter. “Unfortunately, Miss Norah, I
-have not been able to get another box. So we have agreed that I shall
-remain outside Purchase’s box while he enjoys your company, and that
-then he shall go down to Mr Rumford’s stall when my turn comes.”
-
-“There promises to be a good deal of transferring,” I observed.
-“Something like not having more than one dance with a single partner.”
-
-“And afterwards,” continued the injured Mr Hammond, “Miss Norah is to
-sit with Tibbet.”
-
-“And I shall be only too charmed to have her,” simpered the Major.
-“Better late than never. Only unluckily, Miss Norah, I’m in an almost
-worse plight than Mr Carter, inasmuch as I have only succeeded in
-procuring two seats, in what, I am given to understand, is called the
-upper circle--wretched places in the clouds.”
-
-“They’re not seats in which a lady ought to be asked to sit, certain
-fact.”
-
-“Then,” suggested Mr Rumford, “when it is the Major’s turn, you might
-let him have your two stalls.”
-
-“Capital notion, Mr Rumford, excellent. I am sure that Mr Hammond will
-be only too delighted.”
-
-Mr Hammond might be delighted, but he did not show it. He preferred to
-air a grievance which evidently lay heavy on his mind.
-
-“What I have to say is this. When we made the arrangement you’re all
-so keen about, it was understood that we should be in the theatre by
-eight. But it’s now past nine.”
-
-“We are hardly to blame for that.”
-
-“Don’t say you are--don’t say anyone’s to blame,--only stating a fact.
-But as things are, it comes to this--that, by the time you’ve all had
-your turns, the performance will be over, and then where shall I be?
-That’s what I want to know.”
-
-“A bargain is a bargain, Mr Hammond; and when one is signed and sealed
-one generally has to adhere to it.”
-
-“It may be a bargain for you, Rumford, but don’t call it a bargain for
-me. The entire arrangement was based on the presumption that we should
-be in the theatre at eight o’clock, and, as we’re not, then the whole
-thing falls to the ground.”
-
-“An astounding proposition, Mr Hammond! A most astounding
-proposition!”
-
-Then they all began to talk at once, in tones which did not suggest
-that they would quickly arrive at a clear and amicable common
-understanding. It struck me that it was about time for me to say a
-word. So I said one.
-
-“It seems to me, if I may be allowed to speak--and I really don’t care
-to hear people bawling in an omnibus, at least not more than two or
-three at once, unless I am first permitted to get out--I say that it
-seems to me that you are drawing up the programme of how I am to spend
-the evening without the slightest reference to my wishes. So far as I
-understand I am to be passed round and round the theatre, as if I were
-an old shoe, in a sort of game of hunt-the-slipper.”
-
-“Say, rather, like some priceless jewel, which each desires to
-regard--though only for a few fleeting moments--as his own.”
-
-“That may sound prettier, Mr Purchase, but the idea does not appeal to
-me, and I’m not fond of trotting in and out of stalls and boxes.”
-
-“But the arrangement was made, Miss Norah.”
-
-“Really, Mr Carter, you seem to have arrangements on the brain. Have I
-not already told you that I care nothing for arrangements, whether
-made or unmade? You are taking me to the theatre at a ridiculously
-late hour. I cannot understand why you went through the farce of
-asking me to go if you did not propose to get me there before the
-performance was over. I exceedingly dislike arriving after the piece
-has commenced. The least you could do was to manage matters so as to
-ensure that I didn’t.”
-
-The pause which followed was instinct with the silence of
-speechlessness. The audacity of my method of presenting the case took
-those five men’s breath away. I looked into each of their faces with a
-look which dared them to contradict me. And none of them dared. It was
-delicious. The idea that if I chose to say that black was white I
-could induce normally reasonable people to refrain from, at any rate
-openly, attempting to demonstrate the contrary was a novel one. Yet I
-could not but feel that such a power might become dangerous if it were
-carried too far. It would not be pleasant for persons to be compelled
-to regard chalk as cheese.
-
-I was not, however, disposed to consider that I had carried that power
-too far as yet. So I continued my observations in a strain which was
-intended to impress them with my conviction that I was the injured
-party.
-
-“Since, owing to your curious method of managing affairs, so much of
-the evening has been already wasted, all that remains is for you to do
-your utmost to enable me to enjoy those portions of the performance
-which we may still be in time to see.”
-
-“That is our one desire, Miss Norah; our one desire!”
-
-“If that is the case then you will not consider yourselves at all, you
-will only consider me.”
-
-“How are we to do that, Miss Norah?”
-
-“By observing my wishes.”
-
-“What--wh--what are your wishes?”
-
-The question was asked with a faltering intonation which spoke
-volumes.
-
-“They are very simple. It is plain that we cannot all sit together. It
-is equally plain that you cannot agree as to how the division is to be
-effected. I will solve the difficulty by telling you what are my own
-wishes in the matter. If you have any regard for me, whatever, you
-will observe them. Mr Purchase will sit in the stalls with Mr Hammond;
-Mr Carter with Mr Rumford; Major Tibbet will have his two seats in the
-upper circle to himself, and I will occupy the box--alone.”
-
-My proposal was not greeted with any greater warmth than I expected. I
-never saw five blanker looking faces.
-
-“Miss Norah, you’re not--you’re not--very complimentary to us all.”
-
-“I did not intend to be. I did not know you brought me out to pay you
-compliments.”
-
-“You’ve hit the nail in pointing out that you ought to consider the
-box as yours, and only yours. That’s right enough. We’re pretty idiots
-not to have seen it all along. But mayn’t some of us come up and talk
-to you now and then?”
-
-“I’d rather you didn’t. You might spoil my enjoyment of what was
-taking place upon the stage.”
-
-“Miss Norah!”
-
-“However, I have no desire to enjoy myself at your expense. So, when
-we reach the theatre, you go to your seats--and ask the coachman to
-drive me home.”
-
-As it happened, just then we reached the theatre. The door of the
-omnibus was opened, and, almost before I knew it, I was being handed
-out of it on to the pavement. It was all done so quickly that I really
-had no time to remonstrate. Still less to carry the trampling process
-to a further stage. Those five men had more ways of obtaining their
-own ends than one might suppose. And when a brougham dashed up, and
-the brown man sprang out of it, almost within a couple of feet of
-where I was standing, in a manner of speaking I lost my head
-completely.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVIII.
- BEFORE THE CURTAIN
-
-There is more depth in a man than one might imagine. I am not sure
-that that is exactly what I mean, but then I do not know how to
-describe just what I do mean; it sometimes is so difficult. One thing
-is certain, that a man does keep his presence of mind, and that not
-always in a manner which he has any reason to consider creditable. I
-am not able to state what happened with so much clearness as I should
-wish, or, indeed, with any clearness at all. Under the circumstances,
-to expect lucidity from me is out of the question. I know that I lost
-my presence of mind. I have a vague impression that during the time I
-was wholly without it, I was hurried somewhere, by some one, in a
-manner which was beyond my comprehension. When I regained it, at least
-in part--for I never did altogether during the entire remainder of
-that evening; that I do most solemnly assert--I was in a seat, with a
-stage in front of me, on which something was going on, and people all
-round me, who were apparently in a state of dissatisfaction with
-someone, about something. Voices were saying behind me:
-
-“Sit down in front!”
-
-I looked, and there, actually, was Walter Hammond settling himself in
-a seat at my side. A gentleman on the other side of him leant forward
-and said:
-
-“I don’t know if you’re aware that you’ve trodden on my hat, sir.”
-
-Mr Hammond’s manner did not betray the mental disturbance which his
-reply suggested.
-
-“Frightfully sorry! Delighted to provide you with another, sir!”
-
-I was lost in amazement as to how I had come to be where I was; above
-all, how he had come to be there too. Where were the four? How was it
-that they had calmly acquiesced in my being whipped off from
-underneath their very noses? Where was the brown man, and everything?
-Some observations from Mr Hammond threw a little light upon the
-matter, but not much.
-
-“Very neatly done--the riding did it--bad starters--left them at the
-post--romped in before they knew we’d begun to make the running.”
-
-“Where,” I inquired, “are the others? And how is it that, after what I
-have just now been saying, I find myself here?”
-
-“Question of jockeyship, Miss Norah. Good seat in the saddle--quick
-hands--made up my mind you and I should be snug together.”
-
-“I wish to understand,” I began.
-
-“Will you pardon my pointing out to you, madam, that a lady is singing
-on the stage?”
-
-Hardly had I opened my mouth than this remark, or question, or
-whatever it was intended for, was addressed to me by a woman who
-occupied the seat upon my left. There was not much of her, but she
-made up in acidity--or it seemed as if she did--what she lacked in
-size. The undressed portion of her--which was disproportionately
-large--was covered with jewels. She looked to me to be about fifty,
-though, I daresay, she would have given her age as thirty-five. Being
-spoken to in such a fashion by a perfect stranger, and such a shrimp
-of a thing, precipitated me back into the condition of mental
-confusion from which I had just been emerging. When I myself get to a
-theatre early, and am enjoying the performance, I hate people to come
-in late. And when to that offence they add the capital crime of
-talking out loud, or even in an audible whisper--and there is a
-certain sort of whisper which is almost more audible than a shout--I
-sometimes ask myself why they were not drowned when they were young.
-In a mazy sort of mist I was disposed to wonder if other people could
-possibly be asking themselves the same question about me. I became
-hazily conscious that I was an object of general attention. People
-were murmuring among themselves. I even suspected the performers on
-the stage of regarding me with a malevolent eye.
-
-It was a painful situation. I could not stand up and explain to the
-audience that it was not my fault I had entered in such a whirlwind
-fashion, apparently in the very middle of a song. I could not tell
-them that if I had had my way I should not have been there at all.
-Still less could I rise up, then and there, and march straight out
-again. All I could do was sit still, and burn.
-
-On the other hand, Mr Hammond showed not the slightest sign of
-discomfiture. I was not only aware that he was smiling in a most
-significant manner, but he went so far as to allow himself to touch me
-with the point of his elbow, nudged me, in fact, with it in the side.
-And he said:
-
-“Gay old kicker.”
-
-I do not pretend to be versed in stable slang, but it was impossible
-to suppose that the phrase conveyed a compliment, especially as a
-reference from a gentleman to a lady of ripened years--I should not
-have been surprised if she had been more than fifty. Unfortunately,
-the reference was as obvious as it was audible. I felt my next-door
-neighbour draw herself up in a way which made a creepy-crawly feeling
-go all over me. I looked at her with what was intended to be an air of
-deprecation, and an intimation that I was in no way to be confounded
-with that dreadful Walter Hammond. And as I did so I became conscious
-that on the other side of her was a man--an old man, a very old man,
-and, also, I am afraid, a wicked old man. He was big and bald, with a
-red face, a weedy, white moustache, and an expression which I should
-describe as a mixture of ferocity, depravity, and--though I am
-reluctant to write it--drink. Picture my sensations when--as I turned
-to the little woman, who, I fear, poor thing, was his wife; before I
-really realised his presence, or how he was staring at me with his
-great eyes: and, emphatically, before I had the dimmest suspicion of
-what he was about to do--he winked at me--positively winked, not once,
-nor twice, but thrice--ostentatiously, without the least attempt at
-concealment. The little woman did not catch him in the act; goodness
-only knows what would have happened if she had. What he meant by it,
-or what he took me for, I have not the faintest notion. I was
-beginning to wonder what everyone took me for. Although I know my face
-became as red as fire, I went cold all over. Just then the singing on
-the stage ceased, people broke into applause. In the midst of their
-clapping I became aware that Walter Hammond was addressing me in a
-strain which as nearly as possible deprived me of the small remainder
-of my breath.
-
-Whether, under any circumstances, a reasonable being would have
-supposed that that was a proper place, or a fitting moment, to enter
-on a subject of the kind, I cannot say, but, considering that, to all
-intents and purposes, we were strangers, and how he had treated me in
-the days gone by--not to speak of the way in which he had behaved to
-Eveleen--his doing so, then and there, was--well, beyond anything. I
-was so bewildered, and the people made such a noise, and he had such a
-queer way of expressing himself, that at first I did not understand
-what he was after.
-
-“Don’t believe in entering a filly unless you mean running her to
-win.” I repeat that I have no pretension whatever to an acquaintance
-with the language of the turf; so that if there is anything muddled
-about his metaphors as I repeat them, I presume that the fault is
-mine. “If I had my way should always penalise entries which weren’t on
-the job. Whenever I’m in I’m there to win. That’s me, Miss Norah,
-straight. I’m no mole--always do what I do do out in the open--no
-burrowing for me. When I go for a mark, I aim for all I’m worth. Same
-with a girl. Mayn’t seem like a marrying man--have been told I’m like
-a cock, hard to bag. As girls go, small wonder they only bag crocks.
-But when I’m in for marriage, I mean getting there--there’s no
-stopping me--foul riding couldn’t do it--and there’s no fear of foul
-riding from you, because you’re different from any girl I ever met.
-Miss Norah, I love you!”
-
-As ill luck would have it the applause died away just as he uttered
-those words--and just as I was approaching the dumfounded stage. An
-encore had been conceded; the singer was preparing to re-commence,
-when Mr Hammond delivered himself of that paralysing piece of
-information in a tone of voice which had been designed to reach my
-ears in spite of the din, and which rose above the sudden silence in a
-sort of roar. In consequence, those fatal words--“Miss Norah, I love
-you!”--must have been heard all over the stalls, by nearly everyone in
-the pit, and by goodness knows who else besides. It was delightful for
-me. I should have liked to have sunk into the ground. A voice came
-from somewhere at the back--a vulgar voice.
-
-“You’re quite right, sir; and so say all of us; we all love Norah.”
-
-Giggles came from every side. Regardless of what I felt, that
-extraordinary man did not seem to care in the least what anybody
-thought of him. Merely dropping his voice a tone or two, he actually
-went straight on:
-
-“Never mind those beggars--time’s precious--must make the running
-while you can. I say, Miss Norah, that I love you.”
-
-A gentleman in the row of stalls behind us leant forward, thrusting
-his head between Mr Hammond’s and mine, and observed--think of it!--
-
-“We have heard you say so once already, sir. Would you mind postponing
-the repetition of the statement till after the singer has finished. We
-are waiting to hear the song?”
-
-So far from being nonplussed, or disconcerted, or ashamed, or anything
-he ought to have been, all that Mr Hammond did do was to adjust his
-monocle more securely in his eye, and to look at the stage. Seeing
-that the fact was as stated, and that somebody was about to sing, he
-apparently appreciated the reasonableness of the stranger’s request,
-and held his peace; and the singer sang.
-
-What she sang about--she was one of those lovely ladies whom you do
-find at the Gaiety--I have not an idea. All my ideas were gone. I was
-more than speechless. There was Walter Hammond, sitting all at once as
-if he had been carved out of stone, glaring at the stage as if he took
-not the slightest interest in what was taking place on it. The man
-behind, when making that unutterably impertinent remark, had slipped a
-scrap of paper over my shoulder, unnoticed, I presume, by Mr Hammond,
-and, I hope, by everyone else. It had slid down my bare neck, and had
-lodged in the top of my bodice. That wicked old person who sat on the
-other side of the little woman kept his beetroot-coloured face turned
-almost constantly in my direction; when I moved so much as an eyelash
-in his, he winked. Short of provoking a scandalous scene, I did not
-see what I could do to stop it, even if I had had my senses
-sufficiently about me to do anything, which I really had not. For,
-endeavouring to avoid his winks, my glances reached a box which was,
-so to speak, on the other side of the top of his bald head. In it was
-the brown man. He was standing up in the centre of it, well to the
-front. Although he shared the box with a lady, he did not allow her
-presence to deter him in the least. So soon as he caught my eye, he
-inclined his head in my direction in the most noticeable way, as if we
-had been quite old friends. The lady, who was young and pretty, and
-most beautifully dressed, was sitting down on his right, an
-opera-glass before her eyes, pointed straight at me. When he presumed
-to bestow on me that movement of recognition, she put down her glass
-and smiled, and, unless I was mistaken, nodded at me. I was convinced
-that I had never seen her in my life before. What did she mean? and
-what did he mean? and what should I do?
-
-Of course, noticing his impertinence was out of the question, though
-he did look so distinguished standing up there in his beautiful white
-waistcoat, really my ideal of a handsome man. To avoid him, and to
-mark my sense of his misconduct, I turned my head right round, so that
-my glance lighted on the box which was exactly opposite the one in
-which he was.
-
-It was occupied by the four men.
-
-They were standing up, all in a row. At one end, a little back, was Mr
-Rumford. He had his hands in his pockets. On his face was an
-expression which hardly betokened enjoyment of the actors’ and
-actresses’ efforts to amuse. Next to him was Basil Carter, to whom,
-from what I had understood, the box belonged. He was apparently not in
-the best of tempers. Resting his hands on the edge of the box, he
-glared, first at Mr Hammond, then at me, then at the brown man over
-the way. I could not honestly assert that he looked pleasantly at
-either of us. I had learned a good deal about his temper since leaving
-home. I wondered if Audrey had an inkling of what sort of one he
-really had. Beside him was Jack Purchase. His arms were crossed upon
-his chest in what I imagine that he perhaps supposed was a tragic
-attitude. It reminded me of the pictures in the novelettes which I
-used to read when I was little--“Lady Lucy’s Lingering Love,” and that
-sort of thing. They were rather fond of giving illustrations of
-gentlemen with their arms folded across their chests; and there was
-something in his face which was a good deal like what used to be on
-theirs. He looked alternately at the brown man and Mr Hammond as if he
-would have liked to eat them, though, I daresay, that that was not the
-impression which the look was intended to convey. With the fingers of
-one hand he held the brim of his crush hat. Personally, I should not
-have been a bit surprised if it had come spinning down at Mr Hammond
-at my side, or if it had gone whirling through the air at the brown
-man opposite. If he could have used it as a boomerang, and flung it at
-both, it is my private impression that, in spite of the scandal it
-would have occasioned, he would have done it. I never saw two men in
-worse tempers than he and Mr Carter seemed to be just then.
-
-At the further end of the row, completing the quartette, was little
-Major Tibbet. He was really a pitiable figure. What, I suspect, was
-his partial consciousness of the fact made it more obvious still. He
-kept fidgeting from foot to foot, touching himself furtively here and
-there, as if he doubted if everything was right. And it was not. He
-seemed to have been in the wars. His wig was on one side, one eyebrow
-was not only smudgy, but distinctly higher than the other, and
-something dreadful had happened to his complexion. An earthquake, or
-some similar cataclysm, seemed to have cracked it, so that on one side
-of his face quite a large patch of it was missing.
-
-I could not but feel that mamma would not have liked to have seen him
-in his then condition. She is so particular about men’s appearance,
-especially those whom she honours with her acquaintance. And if she
-has the faintest suspicion that her own transformation is in the very
-slightest degree out of the straight, she nearly worries herself into
-a fit. What would she have felt if she had seen the singular angle at
-which the Major’s wig was poised?
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIX.
- AN UNREHEARSED EFFECT
-
-I would have given the world to have been able to rise from my seat,
-leave the theatre, and go straight home. But the power to do it was
-not in me. I knew there was a storm in the air. I felt it about me on
-every side. I am sure I am not a nervous person, as a rule. But just
-then I was simply a bundle of nerves; on tenterhooks all the time as
-to what was going to happen next. And then Jane’s shoes were
-inflicting such agonies on my unfortunate feet that I would have
-slipped them off had it not been for the conviction that I should
-never be able to get into them again if I did; and what would happen
-if I had to march out of the theatre in my crimson-stockinged feet? In
-such a case, would it be more dignified to carry Jane’s shoes with me
-in my hand, or to leave them behind me on the floor?
-
-That pretty lady on the stage finished her encored song, and I had not
-caught a word or a note!--and generally I do not allow a single thing
-to escape me. Under cover of the clapping, an attendant handed Mr
-Hammond a note. I knew in an instant who it was from, if only by the
-eagerness with which the four in the box observed the manner of its
-reception. Not that I looked at them. I looked at no one, I did not
-dare, keeping my eyes fixed as much as possible on vacancy. For,
-wherever I looked, there was some presumptuous man who looked back at
-me in a manner which was simply indescribable. But one need not look
-to see; and I was quite aware that each of those four men was leaning
-as far over the edge of the box as was consistent with safety, in
-order that they might have the earliest possible information of the
-adventures of that missive.
-
-They soon had it. Mr Hammond rent the envelope open; took out a
-card--something told me it was Basil Carter’s--read what was written
-on the back of it, and tore it into shreds, which he dropped between
-his knees.
-
-“No answer,” he said to the attendant, “except that you can tell ’em
-to go to blazes.”
-
-Then, as if such language was a matter of no consequence, he turned to
-me, continuing his previous most extraordinary remarks, completely
-regardless of the performance on the stage, and of the people all
-around us, too.
-
-“Frightfully sorry to seem to rush you, Miss Norah. Fact is, when
-judge’s box is within a furlong, if you don’t want to get left behind,
-you’re bound to bustle. I’ve got it all on this time--every
-copper--must bar taking chances--a certainty is what I’m after. A
-certainty it is, if you’ll consent. Let’s put our piles together--come
-in with me on the same horse--Matrimony, out of True Love, by
-Unbounded Admiration. She’s the mare to carry two as if they were one;
-and if you ride her with a gentle hand, she keeps on winning all the
-time. Miss Norah, say that it’s a go.”
-
-I suppose, looking back, that that extraordinary speech was intended
-to be regarded as a proposal of marriage. I do not see, now, what else
-it could have been meant for. But I did not see it then. Considering
-the circumstances under which it was made, it was not strange.
-
-I do not know if it is customary for proposals to be made in the
-stalls of a theatre. I sincerely hope, for the lady’s sake, that it is
-not; especially if the subject is treated in the singular manner in
-which it was treated then. Not only was the phraseology very peculiar,
-but many of the people about us could not help hearing most of what he
-said; so that I had a dreadful feeling that they were more amused by
-his remarks than by those of the performers on the stage. No woman, I
-suppose, likes the declaration of a man’s passion to be made a public
-mock of, even when it comes from such a ridiculous creature as Walter
-Hammond.
-
-Voices came to us from the pit--as before, vulgar voices.
-
-“Silence! Shut up there in front! Can’t the gentleman in the stalls go
-outside if he wants to talk to his young lady?”
-
-In desperation, I endeavoured to induce him to respect their most
-reasonable wishes.
-
-“Mr Hammond,” I whispered, “can’t you keep still? You prevent the
-people from enjoying the performance.”
-
-“Hang the performance!” was his answer. “And hang the people, too! Say
-yes, Miss Norah--only say yes!--and I’ll be silent as the grave.”
-
-He reached out--in the stalls!--for my hand. I had the greatest
-difficulty in keeping it from him. If I had allowed him to get it into
-his, what he would have tried to do next, I do not dare to think. Had
-I had the vaguest conception of what kind of person he really was,
-nothing would have induced me to have any connection with him
-whatever. I pitied Eveleen, from the bottom of my heart, if she ever
-allowed her path in life to become associated with his.
-
-The same attendant who had brought Mr Carter’s card--or, at least,
-what I believed to have been Mr Carter’s card--re-appeared. All round
-us people were smiling, some of them giggling outright. They were
-whispering among themselves. I saw that we were targets for
-everybody’s eyes. I had a horrid feeling that we were even attracting
-the attention of the actors and actresses on the stage. There was no
-doubt as to our being observed by the band. One of the clarionet
-players was grinning with such intense enjoyment that it was a miracle
-how it was that he managed to blow. The reappearance of that attendant
-was a distinct relief. She held out an envelope, which Mr Hammond
-snatched at with an air of resentment. She drew it back, saying,
-beneath her breath:
-
-“It’s for the lady, sir.”
-
-I took it, with trembling fingers. I managed, after a deal of
-ridiculous fumbling, to get it open. Inside were no less than four
-visiting cards. There was no need to refer to their fronts to
-understand from whom they came; I felt those four men glaring at me
-from the box above. On the back of one of them something was written.
-I did not look to see whose it was, but I knew it was Basil Carter’s.
-It was written so very badly, apparently with a blunt lead pencil, and
-I myself was in such a state of fluster, that I had difficulty in
-making out what it was.
-
- “My dear Miss Norah,--I implore you to come up to my box at once! Mr
- Hammond undertook to conduct you to it, but, with monstrous perfidy,
- he enticed you to his own stall instead. This is not the time, and I
- have not the space, to give you my candid opinion of his behaviour,
- but I appeal to your sense of justice----”
-
-That was all I could read. Several more words--or what I supposed were
-words--were crammed into the corner, which were beyond my powers of
-deciphering. But I had deciphered enough. What an awful character Mr
-Hammond appeared to be, to have played such a trick upon his
-friends--and upon me!--with the seemingly express intention of making
-a laughing-stock of me in front of all the theatre. I stood up on the
-instant, trembling--at least, partly--with rage. He stood up, too.
-
-“What’s the matter? Miss Norah, where are you going?”
-
-“I am going to Mr Carter’s box.”
-
-He had the assurance to seem surprised.
-
-“Miss Norah! Not before giving me an answer! Say yes! Be a sportsman,
-Miss Norah, and put my number up!”
-
-Naturally, the whole place was in commotion.
-
-“Sit down in front!” exclaimed half-a-dozen voices.
-
-One unmannerly creature made himself clearly heard above the others.
-One of the many objectionable things about Mr Hammond was that he had
-such a strident voice, and that he would speak so loudly.
-
-“Put the gentleman’s number up, if it’s only up the spout, Miss Norah;
-and then, perhaps, he will sit down!”
-
-I distinctly heard the acid lady beside me say:
-
-“I cannot understand how it is that they admit such creatures. I
-certainly should have thought that they would not have been allowed in
-the stalls of a respectable theatre.”
-
-What she meant I did not know, and I could scarcely inquire. Anyhow,
-it was not an agreeable thing to have said of one. The man in the row
-behind stood up, also, again thrusting his head between Mr Hammond and
-me, and actually forcing a scrap of paper into my hand.
-
-“Pardon me once more, sir, but some of us have paid for our seats with
-the idea of witnessing the performance, which, I believe, still is
-going on.”
-
-The impertinence of the man’s manner, and the absolute insolence of
-his behaviour to me, stung me to sudden fury. I can get into a rage if
-I like! I held out the piece of paper which he had just insinuated
-between my fingers.
-
-“Mr Hammond, this person has just forced this into my hand, and a few
-minutes ago he dropped this down my neck.”
-
-I extracted the three-cornered fragment, which still reposed where it
-had fallen, inside my bodice, offering it to Mr Hammond with the
-other. He took them both, opened one, glanced at it, then said, in a
-tone of inquiry:
-
-“This the Johnny?”
-
-“That is the man.”
-
-I do not know what was on that scrap of paper. I have sometimes
-wondered; but I never did know, and I never shall. Whatever it was, I
-can scarcely conceive that it could have been an, in any way, adequate
-excuse for what Mr Hammond immediately did. Yet there was a
-workmanlike promptness about the fashion in which it was done which,
-in a sense, appealed to me. Though it must not be, for a moment,
-supposed that I regarded his action as anything but shocking.
-
-He turned round, and he hit that insolent man in the centre of his
-face with such force that he knocked him over the back of his own
-stall right into the row behind. Whatever else it was, it was a
-magnificent hit.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XX.
- THE BROUGHAM
-
-I am afraid that, in my nature somewhere, there must be a touch of
-the original savage. It is a painful thing to have to admit, but when
-one is so full of faults, as I confessedly am, I fancy that one or
-two, more or less, can hardly make much difference. I only know that,
-when I saw that person go flying over the back of his own stall, I was
-obliged to Mr Hammond for having sent him there. More, a good deal
-more!--I should not have minded if he had sent a good many of the
-people round us after him, especially--in spite of his age--that
-barefaced old man on the other side of the vinegary little woman, who,
-under cover of the excitement which immediately ensued, came to my
-side, and took my hand in his, and began to look at me in a fashion,
-and to say things, which made me burn with a desire to throw him into
-the middle of the band.
-
-Of course there was a disturbance. All the people in the theatre
-jumped to their feet; the band ceased playing; the performance on the
-stage stopped also. Shouts and noises came from all parts of the
-building. Half-a-dozen men came towards us as quickly as the cramped
-space permitted. Mr Hammond confronted them as coolly as you please;
-he could keep his presence of mind.
-
-“Only gave the fellow a taste of what he deserves. Chap who behaves
-like a blackguard to a woman wants drowning. Sorry, though, to have
-had to make a mess with him in a place like this.”
-
-Attendants seemed to be advancing on us from all sides. Suddenly I
-found that Basil Carter was standing in front of me. He was white with
-anxiety, or agitation, or rage, or something. He began to order me
-about as if I were a child.
-
-“Miss Norah, come up to my box, at once. Mr Hammond, I shall call you
-to a personal account for this.”
-
-That fired me.
-
-“Account! Why should you call him to account? He has merely marked his
-sense of an insult which was offered me. Do you consider that he is to
-blame for that?”
-
-“There is a right and wrong way of doing that sort of thing, Miss
-Norah, as Mr Hammond knows. Will you be so good as to come up into my
-box?”
-
-That ridiculous Mr Hammond turned to me--his tenacity of purpose, in
-his own absurd way, was wonderful.
-
-“Miss Norah, you’ll give me an answer before you go!”
-
-“If it had not been for the almost insane manner in which you have
-behaved, there might never have been this trouble. That is the answer
-I give you, and that is the only one you ever will receive.”
-
-I marched off. In the corridor I found myself in the company of the
-four. I was in a towering passion, and they also were in a rage, each
-in his own way.
-
-“The man is a scoundrel--perfect scoundrel--ought to be treated as
-such!”
-
-This was the Major.
-
-“Who is a scoundrel, Major Tibbet?”
-
-“Man Hammond--regular ruffian!”
-
-“I should recommend you to go back and tell him so. You will find
-that, in the proceedings which will follow, he will be disposed to do
-his share.”
-
-“He hasn’t behaved well, Miss Norah--really, he hasn’t!” This was Mr
-Rumford; his manner I should describe as cattish. There was something
-about him which reminded me of an elderly tabby. “Hoodwinked us in a
-most ungentlemanly manner. Induced us to entrust him with you, on what
-were absolutely false pretences. He really did.”
-
-“If that is so, I am more indebted to him than I imagined. That is all
-I can say, Mr Rumford.”
-
-“It isn’t fair of you to say such things, Miss Norah.” Mr Purchase had
-the audacity to say that. “You came with us as our common guest----”
-
-“Please don’t speak of me as your common guest, or as your guest at
-all, Mr Purchase.”
-
-“You purposely twist my words. You know perfectly well----”
-
-“I know perfectly well that I wish to have nothing to say to you, nor
-do I wish you to have anything to say to me--thank you very much
-indeed, Mr Purchase. Gentlemen, I need not trouble you to come any
-farther--I am going home.”
-
-“Going home!” cried Mr Carter. “You are coming to my box, Miss Norah.”
-
-“I am going to do nothing of the kind.”
-
-“But, Miss Norah, surely you will not punish us because of Hammond’s
-misconduct; surely----”
-
-“Do not trouble yourself to say anything more, Mr Carter; and be so
-good as to understand me clearly. I am indebted to you, separately and
-collectively, for a very unpleasant evening. I will not apportion the
-blame among you; I will leave you to do that yourselves. I can only
-say that had I known what sort of persons you were I should not have
-trespassed on your generosity, in search--in vain search--of an
-evening’s entertainment. You have already caused me to be a principal
-figure in a most disagreeable scene; you see how, thanks to you, the
-people are staring at me now--it’s a wonder the police do not turn me
-out! Being fearful lest you may drag me into another, I will say
-good-evening to you now--and thank you very much. Please do not come
-with me another inch.”
-
-“But, Miss Norah, you will at least allow us to see you home.”
-
-“See me home!--you! I would sooner ride with a cabman on his box.”
-
-“But you have no carriage!”
-
-“I have no omnibus, you mean. It’s a kind of vehicle I never cared
-about. If you persist in following me I shall have to appeal to the
-attendants for protection. There are cabs. I will get one for myself.”
-
-Someone touched me on the arm. It was the girl who had been in the
-brown man’s box. She looked up at me with the most lovely smile,
-speaking in the sweetest voice:
-
-“Perhaps you will allow me to relieve you of that difficulty. I have a
-carriage at the door. It is at your service to take you home.”
-
-“It is very good of you to make me such an offer, but I could not
-think of troubling you--of putting you to so much inconvenience.”
-
-“There will be no inconvenience, and no trouble. I have some friends
-here with whom I am going on. If you don’t use it it will go home
-empty, so it may as well take you.”
-
-“But--the gentleman who was with you in the box?”
-
-“My brother?” Somehow I was pleased to hear that the brown man was her
-brother. “He is looking for my friends; you needn’t worry about him.
-Come, I’ll show you which my carriage is.”
-
-She laid her hand lightly on my arm. All at once I found myself
-walking at her side, as if we were old acquaintances. The four stood
-staring after us. It was quite a comfort to be walking with a woman,
-after being the observed of all those men--particularly as she was so
-pretty and so beautifully dressed. As we went she talked--always with
-that lovely smile.
-
-“You’re a girl of many adventures.”
-
-“To-night I am--too many.”
-
-“Oh, I don’t know. A girl can’t have too many adventures, especially
-if they’re amusing ones. Do you think she can? There isn’t a man in
-the theatre who has eyes for anyone but you.”
-
-“It’s not my fault. I’d almost rather they hadn’t any eyes at all.”
-
-She laughed, as if something I had said had tickled her.
-
-“It’s not good wishing that; they have--big ones where a women is
-concerned. There is my carriage. The commissionaire will open the door
-for you; I didn’t bring a footman. Tell them where to drive.
-Good-night. No thanks! Delighted it’s of use to you.”
-
-I left her at the top of the steps which led into the street. At the
-foot a brougham was standing. As I went down the steps she signalled
-to the porter, or commissionaire, or whatever he was, who, I suppose,
-was attached to the theatre. He held the brougham door open for me to
-enter. I stepped in, waving my hand to her in farewell greeting, and
-the door was closed. I gave the commissionaire my address, leaned back
-among the cushions--lovely cushions they were, like down to one’s
-back!--congratulating myself on having got rid of my late companions,
-and of being in the possession of so charming a conveyance. Jane’s
-shoes were pinching me cruelly. I was thinking to myself that since,
-fortunately, I was alone, I should be able to take them off at
-once--even if I had to enter the house barefooted. The brougham moved
-off. I took it for granted that we had started, and was already
-leaning forward to take off those wretched shoes--the agony they were
-occasioning me seemed to have suddenly become more intense than
-ever--when, before we could have gone more than three or four yards,
-with a little jerk we stopped. The door was opened, someone came
-floundering in, the door was shut with a bang; we were off again--this
-time at a good round pace, which plainly meant business.
-
-They say that women are fond of italics and notes of exclamation, and
-I daresay I am fonder of them than I ought to be--it is so convenient
-to put a mark which expresses a great deal without your having to go
-to the trouble of explaining just what. But all the italics and notes
-of exclamation put together would be incapable of even hinting at what
-my feelings were when I realised that the object who had come
-blundering in upon my privacy was the bald-headed creature who had
-been sitting on the other side of the sour little woman. The discovery
-of his identity set my brain--which had been settling down into a
-condition of normal quiescence--in a whirl again. Had I been the
-victim of a deep-laid plot? What was the meaning of the wretch’s
-presence there?
-
-His demeanour, the words with which he addressed me, the
-matter-of-fact air with which he uttered them, made the confusion
-worse confounded.
-
-“The idea of finding you in here! Best joke I ever had in my life! You
-little dear!”
-
-He put out his hand and felt for mine. I fancy that the rapidity with
-which I withdrew myself as far as possible from him into the opposite
-corner a little startled him.
-
-“How dare you intrude yourself in here?”
-
-He laughed--actually laughed.
-
-“You can carry things off with an air. I thought you could, by the way
-you treated that chap who tried to spoon you--in the middle of the
-stalls. He had a nerve. It was as good as a play to watch him. Not
-that I blame him for wanting to spoon you--there isn’t a man living
-who wouldn’t draw a blank cheque for the chance of doing it. You
-little sweet!”
-
-I hurled back the hand, which again came out towards me, with a degree
-of force which I imagine rather shook his ancient frame.
-
-“Be so good as to stop the carriage, and at once get out!”
-
-“Get out?”
-
-“Certainly, sir--get out!”
-
-“Get out of my own carriage?”
-
-“Your own carriage?” A wild thought rushed through my mind. Was it
-possible that that lovely lady could have been playing me a trick? I
-had heard of the deceitfulness of women--and seen, alas! too much;
-there was a good deal of deceit practised in the bosom of my own
-family, but that would be to surpass all bounds. It was incredible.
-Such double dealing could not be! “It’s not your carriage. It’s the
-brown man’s sister’s!”
-
-“The brown man’s sister’s? And who is the brown man’s sister? For the
-matter of that, who’s the brown man?”
-
-“I don’t know her name--I don’t know either of their names--but it’s
-hers. I know it’s hers--she told me it was hers!”
-
-“Did she? Then she could tell ’em. Some folks can.” He winked at
-me--one of those disgraceful winks of which he was so fond. “I tell
-you that this carriage is mine--mine! Or rather, it’s my wife’s. I
-presented it to her--with my love. If you want to have any peace at
-all you’re obliged to give your wife things--at intervals. What you’ve
-got to do is to make the intervals as long as you can. Between
-ourselves, my wife is waiting for it now--on the pavement. She’ll be
-getting anxious. She soon gets anxious, does Maria. When she finds out
-what has become of it--if she ever does find out--the mercury’ll run
-up the thermometer at a rate that’ll burst the whole machine. I know.
-I’ve had it happen before, and found it most expensive. That’s when
-the intervals recur.” The dreadful being winked again. “But this time
-I shan’t mind. When I noticed, in the theatre there, the friendly way
-in which you received those little movements of my eyelids I had my
-hopes, but they never went as far as this. You little pet!”
-
-Out came the hand, and back it went--quicker than it came.
-
-“Will you keep yourself to yourself, sir? Did you dare for one moment
-to suggest that I encouraged you in your insolent behaviour?”
-
-“Never know what a woman calls encouragement. But when you find her
-waiting for you in your own wife’s brougham, it does--well, it does
-look as if something was meant, doesn’t it?”
-
-“Do you venture to insinuate that I got into your wife’s carriage
-knowing it was here, and that you were coming into it?”
-
-“Now, my dear, don’t let’s ask each other questions. I’m used to being
-put through my catechism; it happens every day of my life. Do let’s be
-sociable.”
-
-“Be so good as to stop the carriage--your wife’s carriage--this
-instant. If you won’t get out of it, I will.”
-
-“Not if I know it. Now you’re unreasonable. Whatever happens now, I
-shall get it hot. I may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.”
-
-“It’s a matter of complete indifference to me for what you’re hung, so
-long as you are hung. If you won’t stop the carriage, then I shall.”
-
-“No, you don’t.”
-
-He moved towards me with a degree of agility which was incredible to
-his multitudinous years.
-
-“Man!” I cried.
-
-Putting my hand upon his shoulder I drove him back against the
-cushions with a degree of vigour which nearly sent him through them. I
-think it occasioned him surprise. For the moment he seemed to be able
-to do nothing else but gasp.
-
-I daresay I should have stopped the carriage, only just at that moment
-another brougham came tearing along, which, the moment it passed, was
-drawn right across our path. We stopped, perforce, with a jerk, and, I
-suspect, with remarks from our driver. The other stopped also,
-somebody jumped out, and there, standing in the road, looking in at
-us, was the brown man.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXI.
- THE SINGULAR WOOING
-
-He looked very nice--it is a principle of mine to tell the truth
-always, or, at least, nearly always; so I will go so far as to assert
-that he looked positively delicious. Because he did. He wore no
-overcoat. As he stood at the open door, with his hat in his hand, and
-just that flavour of impertinence about his smile and bearing and
-general deportment which does become some men, he struck me--even in
-that moment of so many agitations--not only as being extremely
-good-looking, which he undoubtedly was, but also as one of those
-recklessly, and criminally, delightful persons with whom one could
-hardly help having a really first-rate time. His manner, when he
-spoke, was suavity itself. He had a pleasant voice, and a
-take-it-for-granted air which was in keeping with his mischievous eyes
-and his moustache and his white waistcoat.
-
-“I thought it was you.” Did he? How good of him! What business had he
-to think about it at all? “There has been a misunderstanding. My
-sister directed you to the wrong carriage. This is my sister’s
-carriage. May I ask you to take the trouble to transfer yourself to
-it.”
-
-I hesitated, or I should have hesitated, had it not been for that
-wicked and presumptuous old man.
-
-“Who are you, sir? What do you mean by detaining my carriage, sir? Go
-away, sir, and shut the door, and allow my carriage to proceed. This
-lady is with me.”
-
-She might be, but not intentionally, and the even dim suggestion that
-she was, was sufficient to settle the question on the spot. I paid no
-attention to him whatever. I addressed myself solely and entirely to
-the brown man.
-
-“So kind of you to take so much trouble, and so sweet of your sister
-to let me have her carriage. I expect that the mistake was mine.”
-Though, considering the care she had taken to particularise the
-vehicle which I was to enter, I did not see how that could be, but
-that was by the way. “If I may intrude.”
-
-I proceeded to descend. My ancient companion endeavoured to stop me.
-
-“My dear young lady, don’t leave me--only too delighted--take you
-anywhere!” Then he descended to the vernacular, altogether oblivious
-of the solemn truth that the fact of his having nearly, if not quite,
-attained to the Psalmist’s span should have induced him to pay some
-regard to the proprieties. “It’s hard lines your throwing me over like
-this--uncommonly hard lines--especially considering the row I’m booked
-for anyhow. I don’t call it a ladylike thing to do!”
-
-His notions of what was, and of what was not, a ladylike thing to do
-were probably so distinctly his own that they could hardly be expected
-to interest me. At any rate, they did not. I just crossed over to the
-brown man’s sister’s carriage, and left him to formulate--I believe
-that is the proper word, but if not I cannot help it--his views on
-ladies and things at his leisure.
-
-It was an odd sensation passing from one brougham to the other.
-Broughams with us are represented by vehicles from the livery stables.
-People sometimes, indeed often, take mamma and the girls in their
-broughams; but no one, since I was the merest child, ever betrayed the
-slightest desire to take me--not even to play the part of gooseberry.
-This unwonted actual anxiety to place absolutely charming conveyances
-at my disposal was most refreshing--to say no more. I had already been
-in a private omnibus--which, after all, was not so bad; in that bad
-old man’s wife’s carriage--which was a pet; and now I was in the most
-scrumptious little vehicle you could possibly imagine--and all in the
-course of a single evening. If I progressed at this rate I might find
-myself riding in the Lord Mayor’s coach before I went to bed.
-
-Before many moments had elapsed, however, it began to dawn upon me
-that, so far as company was concerned, from certainly one point of
-view, I might not have made an altogether felicitous exchange. The
-brown man moved in seven-league boots. Compared to the rapidity of his
-advance, my previous companion had merely stumbled along. But then, of
-course, he was very much older.
-
-We had been bowling along in silence, and I was beginning to wonder if
-I could possibly be in for a Quaker’s meeting, when my new companion
-put an end to any fears I might have had on that point by saying, in
-the calmest voice in the world, the sort of voice in which he would
-have referred to the possibility of a shower of rain:
-
-“I wonder if we can get married in the morning.”
-
-I jumped, not boisterously, perhaps, but I certainly did jump.
-
-“I beg your pardon?” I observed.
-
-“I say that I was wondering if we can get married in the morning. My
-uncle’s the Bishop of Battersea. I believe that you can get special
-licences from Bishops and persons of that sort while you wait. I’ve a
-suspicion that he turns in early: he’s that kind of character. The
-question is, whether I shall assail him at this hour of the night, or
-rout him out with the milk in the morning--which would he dislike
-least? I don’t want to hurt the poor dear man’s feelings more than I
-can help.”
-
-It was as if a drop of ice-cold water had gone trickling down my
-spinal column. I had to shiver. Could the brown man be insane? And so
-good-looking! I endeavoured--if such were the case--to lead him back
-to lines of comparative sanity.
-
-“It’s wonderfully good of your sister to lend me her beautiful
-carriage.”
-
-His answer did startle me.
-
-“She didn’t. Don’t suppose it.”
-
-“But--she offered it to me herself.”
-
-“That’s her artfulness. Louisa is artful. When I told her I wanted her
-brougham--for you; her brougham gives the thing an air--she said she’d
-see me farther first. So, when I went off to nobble it, waylaying you,
-she carted you off in someone else’s. Very neat indeed--Louisa’s no
-fool.”
-
-This statement of the facts of the case, as they appeared to him, took
-my breath away. It might be true.
-
-“Then am I to understand that your sister does not know that I am in
-her brougham?”
-
-“She knows. You may bet on Louisa’s knowing.”
-
-“Then am I here contrary to her wish?”
-
-“What’s the use of worrying about trifles? never do. What’s troubling
-me is the much more serious question as to whether we can be married
-in the morning. The Bishop’s an unmanageable creature. Used to be my
-tutor. Short of throwing things at him, you never could get him to
-behave with decency. You can’t throw things at a Bishop. It’s not good
-form. Do you know anything about that sort of thing?”
-
-“About what sort of thing?”
-
-“Special licences, and so on.”
-
-“Will you have the kindness to ask your coachman to stop the next cab
-we come to, and I will get into it.”
-
-“I say! Really! You mustn’t talk like that!”
-
-“It seems to me very much as if I must talk like that. I appear to be
-riding in your sister’s carriage against her wish, and you certainly
-are talking in a strain which would seem to hint at there being
-something the matter with your mental balance. I should be sorry to
-seem discourteous, but I prefer a cab.”
-
-He looked at me with his impertinent eyes in a way which made me
-thrill all over. It is entirely impossible for a person like me--who
-hardly knows one end of a pen from the other, and does not want to--to
-give an adequate impression of the perfectly charming way in which he
-said the most ridiculous and disgraceful things. I had every intention
-and desire to be angry, but I had to smile.
-
-“That’s the unreasonableness of the world. Everybody--including
-Louisa, who practically is everybody--has been urging me for ever so
-long to marry. But I have felt that I had a vocation. Women have
-seemed to me to be good for everything but marrying. Louisa weeps.
-Then, to-night, when I see you at the Imperial, I not only fall in
-love with you--which is nothing, because I am constantly falling in
-love and out again--but I am seized with an instant conviction that
-marriage is my vocation. I rush after you to the theatre, where Louisa
-has a box. I say to her, ‘Louisa, I am going to do as you wish, I am
-about to marry!’ She gives a movement which may or may not signify
-satisfaction, and ejaculates, ‘No!’ I retort, ‘Yes! there is the lady
-who is to be my wife!’ And I point you out to her in your place in the
-stalls. She focusses you with her glass, and exclaims ‘Good heavens!’
-Then adds, ‘Who is she?’ ‘I have not the faintest notion who she is,’
-I explain, ‘I only know that she is going to be--my wife.’ Louisa
-looks up at me and demands, ‘Are you mad?’ There--to return to my
-former position--is the unreasonableness of the world. Louisa hints
-insanity because I am unable to accede to her wishes; when I am, she
-calls me mad. I ask you if there is any reason why you should not be
-my wife?”
-
-“Rather! To enter for a moment into your mood--is there any reason why
-I should?”
-
-“Manifold obvious reasons. First, I love, which is a bourgeois reason
-perhaps. Then, I am rich, which again is a little bourgeois; but still
-sound reason. I am young, sound of mind, hale of body, not
-ill-looking, of decent reputation, easy temper. Happiness is but a
-word, meaning different things in different mouths. Yet it’s but the
-simple truth that I can offer you all that the heart of a woman can
-desire--when she marries.”
-
-“You seem to have a tolerable opinion of yourself.”
-
-“Why not? Yet I have a higher opinion still of you.”
-
-“I doubt it. I am wondering if you are supposing that I have recently
-escaped from a lunatic asylum, or if it is the fact that you have.”
-
-“Don’t say that you see sanity only in the commonplace. That were to
-rank yourself too violently with Louisa.”
-
-“And this is Louisa’s carriage, if, as you pretend, that is your
-sister’s name. I have already asked you to let me get out of it into a
-cab. Where is the man driving? I don’t believe that this is the way to
-Kensington.”
-
-“Why should it be the way to Kensington?”
-
-“Why! Because I live there. Didn’t you hear the address I gave you?”
-
-“But my address is in Berkeley Square.”
-
-“_Your_ address! What has _your_ address to do with me?”
-
-“Since it is also to be yours, does not the question seem a trifle
-crude?”
-
-“Your address is to be mine? What do you mean?”
-
-“I trust that you are sufficiently old-fashioned to consent to share
-your husband’s home.”
-
-“My husband’s home! Have you dared to tell the man to drive me to your
-house?”
-
-“The notion’s this: that you will consent to accept the shelter of my
-roof while I rout out the Bishop, so that we may be married in the
-morning. It may seem to be pressing matters on a trifle hastily, to
-ask you to permit yourself to be ‘wooed and married and all’ inside of
-half-a-dozen hours. But I’ve a feeling strong upon me that this is a
-business which were well done if it were done quickly. If we delay
-there’ll be a hundred thousand reasons buzzing about our ears, to
-sting us as if they were mosquitoes. While, if we’re married, there’ll
-be no sting left in them. They’ll only buzz. And of that they’ll soon
-grow tired.”
-
-“I believe that you’re stark mad. You’re worse than that wicked old
-man. And I thought you were a gentleman. Will you tell the
-coachman--at once!--to drive me straight home.”
-
-“My dear lady, permit me to ask your name. It’s a disadvantage to a
-man not to know the name of the lady he’s about to marry.”
-
-“I certainly will not tell you my name. Will you do as I ask you?”
-
-“I am your devoted slave, only do not treat me with too much
-harshness. This is a critical moment in my life: my fate hangs in the
-balance. Let us approach the consideration of our respective destinies
-with dispassionate calmness, with open minds. Let us be careful to
-avoid anything which may have the appearance of heat.”
-
-As I caught his eye, I was surer than ever that he was laughing at me.
-He might have been an altogether delightful individual--I am offering
-no suggestion that he was not; but his barefaced impudence and brazen
-audacity were beyond anything I had ever conceived as possible. I saw
-that I should find myself in a pretty position if I did not look
-out--and quickly too. I had had such a dry-as-dust existence; here was
-the promise of adventure, if you liked. And I do not mind owning that
-there flashed through my mind a wild idea of seeing the adventure to a
-finish, of trusting him, of allowing him to take the arbitrament of my
-fate in his two hands, if that avuncular Bishop could only be
-persuaded to prove amenable--of permitting him to marry me in the
-morning. What a courtship it would have been! and what a wedding! What
-a nine days’ wonder! What would the girls have said? and mamma? and
-the five--particularly Walter Hammond, when he learnt how somebody
-else had taken a leaf out of his very own book, and made the running
-with a vengeance? His sister’s face--what sort of an expression would
-have been on that when she learnt the use which had been made of her
-brougham?--and what kind of an opinion would she have had of me?
-
-He was a very magnetic person--by far the most magnetic I ever had
-encountered. As one became more and more conscious of his supremely
-attractive personality--as one could not help but do--there was
-something fascinating even about his topsy-turvy way of putting
-things. If I had surrendered myself to the magic of his influence,
-what would have happened? What would have been the issue of the
-night’s adventures? If I had! But I did not. I gave myself, as it
-were, a mental pinch, and I put my head out of the window, and I
-called to the driver.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXII.
- I BEHAVE LIKE A GOOSE
-
-“Coachman!” I cried. The driver reined in his horse. “Where are you
-taking me?”
-
-“Home, my lady.”
-
-“Home? To whose home? To my home?”
-
-“To His Grace’s, my lady--Chelmsford House.”
-
-He called me “my lady,” and spoke of “His Grace,” and of Chelmsford
-House. Then the brown man must be the Duke of Chelmsford? No woman can
-suddenly awake to the fact that she has been in the society of a real
-live duke--and such a duke--without becoming conscious of a singular
-something. I withdrew my head from the window with a sort of spasmodic
-rush.
-
-“Are you the Duke of Chelmsford?”
-
-“I am; and hope that you will shortly be the Duchess.”
-
-The Duchess! the Duchess of Chelmsford! the consort of the richest
-duke in the world, and, as my own eyes told me--the very handsomest;
-the queen of English society--palaces and lands just everywhere--the
-world at my feet, ready, willing, eager to do me homage--me! Small
-wonder that everything seemed all at once to be going round. Was it
-possible that the greatest of life’s prizes--from every sensible
-woman’s point of view--was being offered me? that I was actually being
-entreated to accept it? This was something like an adventure.
-
-The brown man’s--I mean the Duke’s--voice came to my still startled
-ear.
-
-“You’ll find being a Duchess rather a bore. The natural boredom, to
-which all flesh is heir, will afflict you in an accentuated form. But
-you’ll get used to it. Use is by way of being a universal panacea.
-Then you’ll discover that it’s a sort of boredom which you have rather
-grown to like. My mother used to say she had.”
-
-I turned the handle of the door, and, without a word, stepped out into
-the road. So soon as I stood upright I realised that I was trembling
-from head to foot. I wondered, hazily, if I was going to be silly;
-dimly aware that it was an absurdly inconvenient place in which to
-make a fuss. Instantly the brown man--I mean the Duke--was at my side.
-
-“Why have you got out here? You prefer to walk the remainder of the
-distance? It’s fine for walking. My house--our house--is but over the
-way.”
-
-“Will you please tell me where is the nearest place at which I can
-find a cab?”
-
-I know little of that part of London. Especially is it strange to me
-at night. We seemed to be in a great square, with huge houses all
-round it, and a fine wide road, which, apparently, we had all to
-ourselves.
-
-“We shall not need one, it is but a step.” Then, I suppose, he
-perceived that I was looking queer, because all at once his tone
-became solicitous. “May I beg you to accept my arm. Has anything
-distressed you?”
-
-“I want a cab,” was all that I could murmur.
-
-What he would have said I do not know. Before he could speak another
-brougham came bowling along. It stopped just by us, and out of it--of
-all persons in the world--walked that wicked old man. He marched
-straight up to where we were standing--as if he had the slightest
-ground for interference. What he imagined had occurred I, of course,
-cannot say; but he addressed us in a truly remarkable strain.
-
-“Just what I expected--knew I should find this sort of thing going on.
-If you had asked me, you would have been warned in time. You young
-people are never able to judge for yourselves whom you can trust. Now,
-my dear young lady, you would have seen how much wiser you would have
-been if you had remained with me.”
-
-“Who is this gentleman?” inquired the Duke.
-
-“I don’t know who he is--I don’t want to have anything to do with
-him--he’s no acquaintance of mine--I wish he’d go away!”
-
-That old man actually dared to pretend to be hurt by my repudiation of
-him.
-
-“There now, listen to that! And, for all I know, my wife’s still
-standing on the pavement waiting for her carriage; while, at this hour
-of the night, I’ve been following this ungrateful girl in it like
-a--like a--like a true friend. And I arrive at the moment when the
-protection of a true friend is most needed, and this is the welcome I
-receive. There’s nothing so ungrateful as a young girl--especially
-when gratitude is owing to a man of my years. But, my dear young lady,
-I will forgive you everything; so come back to my carriage and don’t
-let us trouble this young gentleman any further.”
-
-His fingers fastened about my arm. I shrunk back.
-
-“Don’t touch me.”
-
-The Duke, placing himself between us, spoke to that horrid old wretch.
-
-“Have the goodness not to allow us to detain you any longer.”
-
-I believe there would have been a scene before we could have got rid
-of him, because, so far as I could see, he showed no sign of budging,
-and every second I was growing queerer and queerer. Something inside
-of me seemed to have escaped from my control, so that I could not pull
-myself together and behave like a reasonable being. Just as I was
-beginning to be afraid that I should have to sit down in the middle of
-the road, or do something else equally insane, up dashed another
-vehicle. I believe it was a hansom cab, but as I was seeing everything
-through a kind of mist, I could not be sure. Anyhow, out of it jumped
-the brown man’s sister. I thought her voice, as it reached my dulling
-ears, was the pleasantest I had heard that night. After all, there is
-nothing like a woman, when you have had enough of men.
-
-“So I’ve found you, have I? Pray, what’s doing now? Bernard, what
-fresh freak are you indulging in?”
-
-“Louisa, will you take this lady to Chelmsford House. I fear she’s
-feeling tired. There are a few words which I must say to this
-gentleman.”
-
-I felt the brown man’s sister’s arm go round my waist; it was so nice.
-
-“Tired? You poor child! You’ve upset her with your nonsense. Bernard!
-quick! help me with her to the carriage. Who are all these people who
-are coming?”
-
-“All these people” were the five. They came clattering up
-together--the four in the omnibus, Walter Hammond alone in a hansom
-cab. I fancy that there was a fine to-do. But it was lost on me. For
-the first time in my life I was behaving like a goose--in the Duke of
-Chelmsford’s arms.
-
-So I rode home in the brown man’s sister’s brougham.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIII.
- “UNTIL?”
-
-And what a time I did have of it when I did get home, attended by an
-entire retinue. Mamma was sitting up for me, and Audrey, and also
-Jane. What a sensation my arrival caused, and were there not alarms
-and excursions. It must have been a singular procession, especially
-when one considers that for our part of the world it was a trifle
-late. I with the brown man’s sister in her brougham, the Duke in his
-sister’s cab, Walter Hammond in his own hansom, that bad old man in
-his wife’s carriage--he insisted on following in that injured female’s
-vehicle to my very doorstep,--the four in their omnibus. I daresay
-that remarks were made which would have been worth reporting. But I
-was beyond the reporting stage.
-
-Was I not glad to find myself alone again in my own shabby little
-bedroom, and rid of Jane. It was not an easy task to be rid of Jane.
-Had I not got my foot against the door the instant I was through it, I
-should hardly have been rid of her at all. As it was, she tapped
-unceasingly at the panels, imploring from without to be allowed to
-assist me to undress. She had assisted me to dress; that was
-sufficient, at any rate, for me. But it was no use telling her so; in
-tones which grew more and more lachrymose she continued to entreat for
-some time after I had declined to indulge in further parley.
-
-What a relief it was to sit on the edge of the bed and get Jane’s
-shoes off--at last! I should have liked to have dropped on to the
-counterpane, and gone to sleep just as I was; I was so tired. When one
-is accustomed to retire early--I was generally in bed and fast asleep
-hours before the others were--and to no excitement, to have so much
-excitement crammed into a single night is fatiguing. I know I found it
-so. It was only because my conscience would not let me get into bed
-with my clothes on that I undressed at all. As I struggled with
-refractory tapes and buttons--and they were all refractory then--I
-told myself that I was an idiot to allow myself to be a slave to
-habit, and call it conscience, when my eyes would not keep open.
-
-Yet when I got into bed, with my clothes honestly off, I could not
-sleep. I suppose I was over-tired. I certainly was over-tired. Like a
-constantly shifting phantasmagoria, the events of the night passed
-backwards and forwards through my brain. It was such an upheaval of
-the whole course of nature that I should be courted, a thing to be
-desired by men. Since what time? Since, say three o’clock, the whole
-world, so far as I was concerned, had been turned upside down; the
-order of nature had been changed, a miracle had been worked--I had
-become all those things which I had never been before. That it was no
-delusion, I, and others, had had assurance enough and to spare. I had
-seen it in the way in which men looked at me, in the way in which they
-spoke to me, hunted me when they could. In plain English, it seemed as
-if I had acquired a sudden capacity to drive men mad. I had always
-suspected that not much was required to do that. Now it appeared that
-it only needed me. There was proof plain as Holy Writ that the writing
-on the paper----
-
-At the thought of the scrap of paper, I was out of bed again in half a
-twinkling, nearly wide awake. Where was it? I re-lit the gas, looked
-for it, found it still among the litter on the dressing-table. There
-was the mystic, magic, incredible sentence, in the small clear
-writing, which somehow reminded me of the writing in which they put
-one’s name upon one’s visiting-card.
-
-“Your wish shall be gratified until----”
-
-“Until?”
-
-Why, surely, when I saw it last no “until” was there. It certainly was
-not when I saw it first. Was the sentence really still being written?
-Then the scribe was pretty slow. If such were the case what was to
-follow after “until”?
-
-“Until”--satiety ensued, and I had had enough of it? Could I turn off
-my power at pleasure, and, having done so, turn it on again? How?
-Would the secret of that somewhat delicate operation also be revealed?
-“Until”--I was married? I might be married in a few hours, if I chose,
-to the Duke of Chelmsford, that deliciously impertinent brown man.
-Should I not be able to crow over mamma and the girls if I were? Would
-it not be a magnificent instance of Cinderella up-to-date? Though no
-one could speak of the girls as “ugly sisters.” “Until”--I was old?
-Some people might regard twenty-two as old. I myself sometimes feel as
-if bowed down by the weight of years. What was the period in life at
-which it was universally agreed that folks were old, even by the folks
-themselves? I knew that mamma considered herself quite young. If it
-were left to me to fix the age at which I might be reckoned old, I
-might say after the expiration of a century, and, even from the little
-I had seen of things, I believe that some people esteemed themselves
-comparatively juvenile even then. Fancy men of all ranks and ages
-making love to a real old lady! Would it not be dreadful? “Until”--I
-died? I was not sure that I should like to be regarded as an object of
-desire by every male creature I encountered, quite until the end. I
-might have had a great deal more than enough of them long ere that.
-Especially if they continued to press themselves upon me as eagerly as
-they had done that night. Indeed, it was extremely probable, if only
-death could put a period to their persecution, that I might welcome
-with rapture a suicide’s grave.
-
-I put out the gas again, and, with the scrap of paper between my
-fingers, returned to bed, the problem of the unfinished sentence yet
-unsolved. And I have a vague idea that I fell fast asleep as soon as I
-was between the sheets a second time--the missing words still missing.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIV.
- THE FINISHED SENTENCE
-
-For some moments I could not think what had happened. I had just
-been eloping with the Duke of Chelmsford, and because several men had
-maintained that he ought to do nothing of the kind, he had put me in
-his pocket--which was not anything like large enough--and thrown
-Jane’s crimson shoes into his sister’s face, who had thereupon changed
-into a horse--with Walter Hammond’s head, on which he had sprung; and,
-galloping down the racecourse, had dragged me from his pocket--with
-much difficulty!--and married me in the middle of the grand stand. I
-felt, even in my sleep, that this was a surprising way for a person to
-behave, and that I had a grievance, when all at once I became
-conscious of Audrey’s face bent over my bed, and of the fact that she
-was shaking me.
-
-“Do you know what time it is?” I did not, and did not care. I fancy I
-signified as much. “It’s half-past eleven, and already people have
-come to see you.” Still I was indifferent: as yet the statement
-conveyed no meaning. “How are you feeling?”
-
-“Cheap.”
-
-Audrey laughed.
-
-“That’s lack of experience, my dear. Though it’s true that the more
-expensive a night one has, the more economical one feels in the
-morning--especially, I fancy, when it’s a woman in the case. Though
-I’ve known men who suffered. But you did have a good time--didn’t
-you?”
-
-“Don’t ask me. I suppose I did--but--at present--I’m not quite sure.
-It was a little nightmarey.”
-
-Audrey was still. Although my eyes were closed I was oddly conscious
-that hers were searching my face with a curious scrutiny. And,
-somehow, I seemed to know that what she saw there made her sorry, but
-whether for herself or for me I could not tell.
-
-“I fancy that everyone must have been a wee bit mad--yesterday.”
-
-There was an inflection in her voice which caused me to look up.
-
-“Mad? Yes; I think they must have been!”
-
-“Some of Puck’s magic powder must have got into their eyes, so that
-they saw things as they did in that wood near Athens. Perhaps they’ll
-have got it out to-day.”
-
-“Perhaps.”
-
-Again she looked at me, and, as I was looking at her, this time I saw
-that there was trouble in her eyes, trouble which seemed to grow as
-she looked. Stooping, she kissed me, saying something which I did not
-understand at all.
-
-“Never mind, Norah; we’ve all got our burdens to bear. It’s a pretty
-hard world for feminine things. Shall I tell those people you cannot
-see them, that you’re not feeling well? You don’t seem quite up to the
-mark, you know.”
-
-“Am I looking ill?”
-
-“No--not ill--exactly. You’re like your ordinary self: and--last
-night--you hardly were.”
-
-This time something in her words, her tone, her manner, did give me a
-hint of what it was she meant. As I began to perceive what it was she
-wanted me to understand I became conscious of a tightness about the
-region of the heart, as if it had been suddenly weighted with lead.
-She saw it was so, because she kissed me again.
-
-“Shall I send them away?”
-
-While I hesitated, because the thought which she had presented to my
-mind had left me for the moment speechless, mamma came into the room.
-The instant she spoke, it was plain that she had heard what Audrey had
-said:
-
-“They won’t go,” she began. “I can’t think what people are coming to
-nowadays--never saw such manners in my life--if those men were
-crossing-sweepers they could not behave worse!--and I’m not sure that
-some of them are much better! One of them has the assurance to call
-himself the Duke of Chelmsford. Quite apart from anything else, the
-fact of his being so extremely good-looking proclaims him an impostor.
-All dukes are notoriously ugly. Norah, I insist upon your telling me
-what is the meaning of these proceedings.”
-
-Audrey answered for me.
-
-“My dear mamma, since Norah is scarcely awake I can’t see how you can
-expect her to explain what she herself as yet knows nothing about.”
-
-Mamma pretended to be angry with Audrey, which was a most unusual
-thing, for no one was ever angry with Audrey long.
-
-“It’s no use your endeavouring to palliate Norah’s conduct, Audrey--I
-won’t have it!--I have had too much of it already!--I don’t like the
-attitude you have taken up in the matter!--it doesn’t become you!
-Norah’s behaviour is beyond my comprehension--look at the scene last
-night! And now here are these men--strange men!--at this unseemly hour
-of the morning, demanding to see her as if they were presenting a
-pistol at my head. I will not keep silent and allow scandal to be
-brought upon my house. Tell me at once, Norah, who is this person who
-calls himself the Duke of Chelmsford?”
-
-“He is the Duke of Chelmsford, mamma.”
-
-“How do you know? And how did you become acquainted with him, if he
-is--you, of all the people in the world?”
-
-“He introduced himself to me last night.”
-
-“Introduced himself to you!--a man in his position!--to you! Where
-were those other men that such a thing should have been possible?”
-
-I sighed, at least I made a noise which I suppose may be described as
-a sigh, though it has always seemed to me to be rather a poetic word
-to apply to the sort of gasping sound one makes when one feels that
-other people are just a trifle stupid.
-
-“It would take me a good time to explain, mamma, and then perhaps you
-wouldn’t understand.”
-
-“Indeed, though that’s a remark which no girl ought to make to her
-mother, I daresay it’s true enough; the whole thing’s beyond my
-understanding. Ever since yesterday afternoon I’ve been asking myself
-if the whole world’s gone mad. And now that I look at you I ask myself
-more than ever. No man has ever seen anything in you except two eyes
-and a nose, and now what they think they see in you all of a sudden is
-beyond me altogether. What you say about her having changed, Audrey,
-is just nonsense, except it’s changed for the worse--unless you wish
-to insinuate that my eyesight’s failing me. She’s always been a plain
-girl--the only one of my family!--and she’s a plain woman--without
-even that kind of plainness which is interesting. And what you wish me
-to understand by talking about her having changed sufficiently to
-account for the behaviour of those men, as I say, unless I’m going
-blind, it’s balderdash you’re talking. She’s a fright, just that, and
-nothing more; and it’s a bad day when I, her mother, that never had a
-child except her that wasn’t fit for framing--have to say it.”
-
-During the utterance of these very outspoken remarks, I knew--although
-I was not looking--that Audrey was making signs to mamma to be a
-little careful in her choice of words; signs which, apparently, mamma
-preferred to ignore--feeling, possibly, that, under the circumstances,
-to spare my feelings was to spoil the child. When mamma had quite
-finished then I did turn towards Audrey, and when I caught her eyes
-she smiled, there was no mistake about her being a picture well worth
-framing!
-
-“Never mind what mamma says,” she whispered.
-
-“I don’t,” I replied, with perfect candour, and equal truth. “I never
-do.”
-
-Of course the confession was not lost upon mamma.
-
-“If I’d spoken to my mother like that, in her presence, she’d have
-beaten me; but, in those days, daughters used to look upon a mother as
-a parent. Now, she might as well be the cattle in the field. And the
-consequences of it will be, Norah O’Brady, that you may as well go
-clerking, or companion to an old lady, or something equally as
-degrading to your father’s child, for all the chances you’ll ever have
-of getting decently settled in life--in spite of all the half-witted
-men who’re invading my house at this time of the morning. And what it
-is that I’m to do with them, I’d like to know.”
-
-Audrey repeated the question which I had left unanswered.
-
-“Shall I send them away?”
-
-I hesitated, searching her face for what was written on it. It was
-with a fresh sinking of the heart that I understood, or thought I did.
-
-“No; let them wait. I will be as quick as I can, and come down to
-them. It will be better to get it over.”
-
-She stooped down and whispered in my ear, so that, this time, I was
-the only one who heard:
-
-“Men are the least dependable of all God’s creatures. You mustn’t
-mind.”
-
-It was a cryptic utterance--to those who were without the key, which I
-fancied that I had. She took mamma away with her. I was left alone.
-
-The instant they were gone I brought up, from between the sheets, a
-scrap of paper--_the_ scrap. I had taken it with me to bed. All night
-long, it seemed, I had held it in my hand, clutched between my
-fingers. I had thought of it the moment I supposed myself to have an
-idea of Audrey’s meaning; and, feeling it there, had realised how
-close a neighbour it had been while I had slept. It was all crumpled.
-I smoothed it out, and looked. The writing had grown faint; so faint
-as to suggest that the writer must have used ink of a very evanescent
-quality. Already, here and there, the words could scarcely be
-deciphered.
-
-But the sentence was finished!
-
-How, while I had slept, the finish had been arrived at, or by whom, I
-could not tell. The result was unmistakable. My doom stared me in the
-face; my forebodings were realised; the meaning of what I had seen in
-Audrey’s eyes, heard in her voice, was made quite plain.
-
-“Your wish shall be gratified until to-morrow.”
-
-“To-morrow” had been the missing word--that was, to-day. My wish was
-to be gratified until to-day, which meant that all the gratification I
-was to receive--so far as that particular wish was concerned--I had
-already had. What was my wish exactly? I should not have liked to have
-had to answer the question on my oath. I had been talking pretty
-wildly at the time! But, so far as I could remember, I wished that all
-men--every man--might fall in love with me at sight. As, lying there,
-in cold blood--metaphorically, in very cold blood, indeed!--I
-endeavoured to recall it, as accurately as I could, what a singular
-wish it seemed, to say the very least!
-
-And it had been gratified? And now it was done with? Dear! dear! what
-a very short span of enjoyment had been allotted me. What a very small
-result the boon which had been conferred had ended in. Was that the
-meaning of the feeling I was conscious of--that I had returned again
-to what I was? It certainly was true that I was oppressed by an
-apprehension, which was near akin to fear, that since last night
-something had been lost, that something had gone from me, which I had
-when I laid down to sleep--gone, never to return. What could it be? It
-was not that I was ill, or tired, or--as I had pretended to
-Audrey--even cheap. It was nothing half so commonplace.
-
-I got out of bed, and, as I did so, I felt that virtue had gone from
-me; life, that ichor of the gods which had been in my veins last night
-instead of blood. I had hit it--I was as one of the gods--the writer
-of the sentence on that scrap of paper alone knew how--and was again
-but mortal. Between sleeping and waking, I had come down the Olympian
-hill, slung down, rather, been kicked down, perhaps, amid the jeers
-and jesting of the rightful inhabitants; and at the very, very foot
-was once more--Norah O’Brady.
-
-I needed not the assurance of the mirror. Had I done so, I had it,
-beyond all possibility of controverting. The face I saw in it was the
-one I had always seen; not the one that had seemed to blaze at me
-yester afternoon. The light had gone from the eyes; the flare, a mere
-glimpse of which--as, somehow, I had known--would set the most
-sluggish blood in masculine veins flaming as with fire; and, with it,
-all had gone. There was but left the plain, uninteresting,
-undistinguished, unintellectual face of overgrown Norah O’Brady.
-
-I dressed. How shabby my things did seem, unusually shabby, even for
-me. Ill-shaped, ill-fitting, with about them, every one, that
-exasperating suggestion of having been intended for someone else.
-Always, everything I had, seemed to shout at me, with furious
-grievance, that it might have looked presentable if only it had been
-worn by a creature different entirely to me. If they had only let me
-choose my own things, and, regardless of what was, or was not, the
-mode, have permitted me to clothe myself in the garments in which I
-looked least awkward; at any rate, my actual deficiencies might not
-have been quite so obtrusive. But, in continual parodies of the
-fashions of the moment--which went very well with them, but, oh! so
-horribly with me--what a fright they made me look.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXV.
- THE BROWN MAN’S APOLOGY
-
-As I went down the stairs, dressed--if you could call it dressed--at
-last, how hideously conscious I was that I presented a spectacle of
-all that was least desirable in womanhood. Long familiarity with the
-fact had hardened me. I take it that no feminine thing becomes
-completely reconciled to the accident that she is not physically
-prepossessing. Women who are plain sometimes do not realise their
-plainness. I daresay that is true. Or they may cherish a hope that, in
-the eyes of someone, some day, they may not be plain. If, fatherless,
-brotherless, they live with five lovely sisters, and a still
-good-looking mother--who esteems beauty the only thing which is worth
-a woman’s having--both these consolations will be denied them. Long
-before they have reached years of maturity, they will have learnt,
-with that absolute certainty of conviction which leaves no room
-whatever for doubt, that they are ugly ducklings, and that, for such
-as they, this world has no good things; that, indeed, it is as sure as
-that the sky is above the earth, that none but idiots, or worse, will
-ever esteem them for themselves alone. And, though they become
-accustomed to this knowledge, and so pachydermatous, in a sense, there
-are occasions when the actualities of their position are as pin-pricks
-to make them wince as eagerly as if their skins had never been tanned,
-by the laying on of innumerable stripes, into hide at all.
-
-The descent of the stairs which divided my bedroom from the
-drawing-room was one of those occasions. Worse luck for me. In the
-drawing-room were the men who had been the worshippers of the girl who
-was--last night; come, at that matutinal hour, to render her the
-proofs of their devotion. Going to them was the girl who was to-day;
-that grotesque caricature of the being they had known, and of whom
-they apparently still dreamed. Clearly, it was doubtful if this was a
-case in which they would perceive that it was “better to have loved
-and lost, than never to have loved at all.” No man cherishes a
-sentimental pang when he discovers that he has been deluded into
-loving a female Bottom in an ass’s head. The humour of the situation
-would probably appeal to them so much more strongly than to me.
-
-Half-way down I encountered Jane, who, I rather suspect, had been
-keeping herself handy in the possible expectation of such an
-encounter. At sight of me she gave a jump.
-
-“Lor’! Miss Norah, whatever has come to you! I shouldn’t hardly ever
-have known you; you look so different--really, I shouldn’t.”
-
-“Do I look different? How?”
-
-I was curious to learn how the matter appeared to her. Her way of
-seeing it might be as a straw to guide me as to the quarter from which
-I might expect the wind to blow in the interview to which I was
-advancing. Her eyes travelled over my features in stolid, observant
-fashion, as if she were searching out the peculiarities of a wooden
-figurehead.
-
-“Really, miss, I couldn’t hardly say--I really couldn’t; though such
-a difference I never see. It’s more than a difference; you don’t seem
-as if you was the same person--that you don’t.”
-
-“But I assure you that I am.”
-
-“Excuse me, Miss Norah, but that you aren’t--you are not, really.
-Leastways, not so far as looks is concerned. If you could see yourself
-as you looked last night, and as you looks now, you yourself wouldn’t
-say you was the same--I don’t believe you would, really.”
-
-It was encouraging to receive such a testimonial from Jane, especially
-as on her countenance sincerity was written large, and surprise, and,
-I rather fancied--it might have been only fancy, but I doubt
-it--disappointment too. If the alteration were so apparent to Jane,
-the not inhumanly critical, with what appalling obviousness would they
-not strike the keen-sighted gentlemen who awaited me in the
-drawing-room, and whose voices I already heard. The same reflection
-actually occurred to the handmaid of the crimson slippers--at the
-recollection of their splendours they still seemed to pinch me.
-
-“Whatever them there gentlemen will say when they see you looking like
-that, Miss Norah, I can’t think; and there is a few of ’em. There’s a
-bald-headed old party what give me a sovereign to show him in without
-announcing him.”
-
-“A bald-headed old party?”
-
-“‘Never mind my name,’ he says. ‘You show me straight in without
-announcing me, and here’s a sovereign for you.’ So I showed him in,
-because sovereigns aren’t lying about all over the place, not in this
-house they aren’t. Though I should like to know what he thinks he’s
-after, with no more hair on his head than a yellow Bramah egg.”
-
-I felt that I also should like to know. Was it possible that that
-hoary reprobate had not yet repented of his last night’s misdoings.
-Jane went on to say something which nearly caused me to tumble down
-the remainder of the stairs.
-
-“But the one that takes my fancy is him with the moustaches. Now, he
-is something like a man. If he’d been took clean out of a picture he
-couldn’t have been more what he ought to be.”
-
-“With the moustaches?”
-
-My thoughts recurred to the Duke of Chelmsford. Was he, in Jane’s
-estimation, something like a man? But it seemed that I was on the
-wrong scent.
-
-“Him with the moustaches what turns up at the ends like as if they was
-ramrods. If he isn’t a soldier it ain’t for want of looking it.
-Splendid, I call him. Then look at the height of him--regular
-monument, as you might say. And that straight! Then them there eyes of
-his!--ain’t they eyes? I never! When they looked at me they made me go
-all over--really they did. And I’ve not got over the feeling now--that
-I haven’t. It’s my opinion, and always has been, that some of them
-foreign men is better grown than some of our English.”
-
-“Foreign men?”
-
-A premonitory something was beginning to chill me about the centre of
-the back.
-
-“He speaks with a foreign accent--lovely accent, I call it--that
-musical. And he’s got a way about him which makes you think, for all
-his being such a great big giant of a man, that if he was to take you
-in his arms he would be tender.”
-
-“Jane! You shouldn’t say such things!”
-
-“Well, miss, I am but human, as the saying is; and if I was going into
-the drawing-room to see a man like him, rather than look a fright I’d
-put something on my face, or do something to myself somehow, for look
-different to what you’re looking now that I would--no matter how I
-done it.”
-
-With those last words of cheering advice Jane passed up the stairs,
-presumably to pursue her professional avocations. She would never have
-dared to say such a thing to one of the girls, but to me it always
-seems that everyone says just anything. That splendid person, with the
-moustaches turned up at the ends like ramrods, and the eyes, and the
-foreign accent--could he be that imposing dignitary of the Imperial
-Hotel? Had he had the audacity to trace me to my own home--and call on
-me? A waiter! What a cosmopolitan assembly appeared to be gathered
-together in the drawing-room.
-
-The voices within seemed raised. Walter Hammond’s and Basil Carter’s
-voices were very audible. I fancied I heard also the “lovely” accent
-of which Jane had spoken. Mamma was unmistakable. It appeared that an
-argument was taking place inside, which was growing warmer by rapid
-degrees, with the promise of becoming, at an early moment, absolutely
-hot. Just as I reached the door, and was about to turn the handle, it
-was opened from within, with something of a flourish. I chose to take
-it as having been opened for me, and walked straight in.
-
-My appearance created a sensation, that I needed no one to tell me.
-Still less did I need to be told that it was a sensation of a curious
-kind. An argument had been taking place which bore a tolerable
-imitation to something else. That was plain. It seemed probable that
-pressure had been brought to bear upon the dignitary of the Imperial
-Hotel to induce him to take himself away, and that that pressure had
-been applied in vain. Basil Carter had his hand upon the door-knob,
-his air suggesting something more than command, while there was
-something in Walter Hammond’s attitude which hinted at measures of a
-distinctly vigorous kind. Had I not arrived just then, I am inclined
-to think that steps would very shortly have been taken to bring that
-dignitary of the Imperial Hotel to a proper sense of his position.
-Considering his physique, it is tolerably certain that those who
-undertook the task of persuasion might have found that there were
-difficulties in the way. So far as I could judge--and I had pretty
-good opportunities--he was not the least collected person present.
-When I entered, he stood about the centre of the room, his hat and
-stick in one hand, a bunch of flowers in the other. Even in height he
-towered above Walter Hammond, who was no dwarf, while, so far as girth
-went, he would easily have made two of any of the others. He was
-smiling on his company, and I am afraid even on mamma, in a manner
-which was hardly deferential; but when he saw me he commenced to
-salute me with a bow of the deepest deference.
-
-I say commenced, because he actually got no farther than what I should
-call the impulse. He began, but in the very act of beginning, as it
-were, stopped short, as if something which he saw in me had stricken
-him with temporary paralysis--paralysis which was decidedly not the
-result of a flattering cause. He was, possibly by profession--for a
-waiter must know how to control his countenance--a master of the art
-of keeping his feelings out of his face. That he was surprised, I was
-uncomfortably convinced--surprised almost to the verge of being
-dumfounded. Yet he managed to prevent that fact being betrayed by his
-features. His expression, so to speak, was held in suspense. But
-presently it became eloquent enough.
-
-I have heard something about the insolence of foreigners. I know a
-girl who has lived most of her life abroad, and I have heard her say
-that while foreigners are the politest creatures on earth, they are
-the most insolent too. I had an example of it then. That sublimated
-person of the waiter class had evidently expected to see one kind of a
-girl, and actually saw another. For a moment or two he was still,
-looking me, all the while, full in the face. Then he smiled, not only
-at me, but also at the others, and he said, his slightly foreign
-accent emphasising his sneering intention:
-
-“What a difference between the night and the morning!”
-
-Swinging the flowers which he held in his hand, which had certainly
-been intended for me, he marched past me, straight out of the room,
-without another word, still smiling. As he opened the hall-door to let
-himself out, he laughed--such a laugh!
-
-I knew, as well as if I had seen him do it, that as soon as he was
-down the steps, he threw the flowers which had been meant for me out
-into the street.
-
-Had he struck me across the face with his stick, he could not have
-branded me with a more distinctive mark of ignominy--he, a waiter! The
-charm of it was, that no one showed the slightest sign of resenting
-his behaviour. I was speechless. I had anticipated some difficulty
-with my tongue, but in the presence of that sublimity of insult, it
-refused to do its office altogether. My confusion was rendered worse
-confounded by the horrible embarrassment of the men by whom I found
-myself confronted. Their astonishment at the personality which my
-entrance had discovered--in such bewildering contrast to the glorious
-being of whom they had dreamed--was evidently so great as to be beyond
-their capacity of concealment. It not only robbed them of their
-senses, but also of their manners. They offered me no sort of
-greeting, not acknowledging my presence by a word or movement, but
-could only stand and stare and gasp, probably anathematising
-themselves internally for the crassness of their folly.
-
-Those well-bred gentlemen!
-
-The continued silence became so hideous that it had to be broken, even
-though I had to break it myself. I could not stay there and petrify
-before their stony gaze. It cost me a severe muscular spasm to break
-loose from the trammels of the sort of tetanus by which I was
-afflicted. And when I did the result was ludicrously inadequate. My
-intention was to be garrulous, a lava stream of words. All I could say
-was this:
-
-“You don’t want me. I needn’t stay.”
-
-It was true, the concentrated essence of truth. But as an illustration
-of the resources of the English language, it seemed hardly equal to
-the occasion. It was such a stupid, such an uncouth, thing to say--so
-utterly in character. The consciousness that this was so--that I was,
-by the decree of nature, a stupid, uncouth, gawky idiot--was the last
-straw. I turned to make my way out of the room as best I could.
-
-My turning woke, at least, one of the gentlemen to some sense of the
-requirements of his position--the brown man. He had shown himself,
-last night, to be the owner of considerable stores of presence of
-mind; he proved, now, that he possessed some remnants still--even
-though they were, as remnants are apt to be, of somewhat dubious
-quality. Advancing a half-step towards where I was, he checked me in
-my retreat.
-
-“Pardon me, one moment, Miss O’Brady.” I was not Miss O’Brady. I
-longed, even then, to tell him so. But, fortunately, I did manage to
-refrain. “I am here to offer you my apologies.” I was perfectly sure
-that he had come there with no intention of the kind. “I fear that
-last night I behaved with scant discretion. I frightened you. I think
-I must have been a little off my head. I beg that it is in that light
-that you will regard the singularity of my conduct; and can now only
-assure you that I am ready to lay at your feet my excuses, my regrets,
-my confession of misbehaviour, in any form you may command.”
-
-He did not seem to see that his words, which were more than a little
-artificial, were not so much an apology as a fresh offence. He had
-made love to me because he was a little off his head, had he? What a
-compliment, under the circumstances, the idea conveyed. I should have
-liked to have pinched him, or done something more emphatic still, and,
-perhaps, something more undignified. Instead of which I merely
-replied, with an awkward clumsiness of which I was only too keenly
-sensitive:
-
-“Pray, don’t apologise! It doesn’t matter in the least.”
-
-I gave no one else an opportunity to utter a syllable. The sight of
-their continued dumbness was more than flesh and blood could endure;
-and, above all, what the brown man had the audacity to call his
-apology. I strode out into the hall, and I am afraid I banged the door
-after me as I went.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXVI.
- ON THE SINGULAR EFFECTS OF SUNLIGHT
-
-When I regained my bedroom, which, in spite of its manifold and
-ostentatious deficiencies, I had long regarded as a harbour of refuge
-in which I might find shelter when the storms of life pressed too
-hardly, I took out of my dress pocket--I always insisted on having a
-pocket in my dress, whatever the fashion was, it was the one point on
-which I would have my way--that scrap of paper. It was blank. That
-sentence must have been written on it with vanishing ink, because
-already not a trace of it could be seen. That process of fading must
-have proceeded with marvellous rapidity. I held in my hand a soiled,
-crumpled piece of paper, which was so void of anything in the shape of
-written characters, that I was at a loss as to which side of it those
-mysterious words had been on.
-
-The brief hour of my triumph had faded too. I was again the plain,
-uninteresting Norah O’Brady; the ugly girl with the pretty sisters;
-the overgrown gawk, who always looked so ridiculous in the clothes she
-wore. As I had once heard myself described--the creature with the
-hands and feet. I was that pleasant person again, this time for ever
-and a day. I could hardly expect a second miraculous interference with
-the ordinance of nature.
-
-And the story of that interposition would be scored up against me, in
-the family debtor and creditor account, to be used as another missile,
-when the tale of Norah’s clumsiness, bearishness, multitudinous
-stupidities, was once more the well-worn domestic theme. How amusing
-it would be to recall the day when the five men took her out to dine.
-How incredible it seemed, and, indeed, was. One must have dreamed it.
-By degrees, quite possibly, a legend would grow up that it was an
-elaborate practical joke which those five gentlemen had planned among
-themselves. And the Duke who called on her! You wouldn’t think it to
-look at her, would you? No one ever does believe it; but he actually
-did. And the bald-headed old horror! And that waiter!--a waiter,
-actually, my dear!--such a ridiculous fellow! Don’t you remember how
-impertinent he was to her? How he treated her as if she were the dirt
-beneath his feet! It was the funniest thing you ever saw.
-
-I knew. My prophetic soul saw it all in store for me, being acquainted
-with the family methods where anything which would point a gibe
-against me was concerned.
-
-Putting on my hat I went out. The atmosphere of the house, even of my
-own room, was insupportable. It would not have been surprising if
-someone had endeavoured to stay me, for with Jane, assisted only by a
-charwoman, I had to play the part of second maid. But no one did. I
-was conscious that someone came to the drawing-room window as I went
-by. But I did not notice who it was; and as, so far as I know, no
-attempt was made to attract my attention, I did not care.
-
-I steered for Kensington Gardens. They were the nearest available
-approach to the country for which I was always longing; and there,
-sometimes, one could be alone with the grass, and the trees, and the
-birds. That was my dominant feeling: the desire to get away from
-everyone, from everything. To transplant myself from this world, in
-which I had been, and was, and should be, such an utter failure. If I
-could only find myself in a different environment, in some place where
-people were not principally concerned with each other’s appearance,
-where one could dress as one pleased, and do as one chose, and be
-comfortable, and yet not be the subject of perpetual comment; where
-one could have liberty to be a woman, a girl, in one’s own way, which
-would not be such a dreadful way after all, where one could be even
-huge and plain and not despised, what a place that would be.
-
-As I tramped through the trees, seeking a spot which was not overrun
-with nursemaids, and all kinds of persons, I perceived no prospect of
-ever finding such a haven; unless, perhaps, it were by way of the
-Round Pond, if it contains water to cover a person of my unseemly
-inches. On the other side of it, almost obscured by the trunk of a
-great oak, I saw two chairs. Not only were they unoccupied, but there
-seemed to be no one in their immediate neighbourhood. So I planted
-myself in one. In Kensington Gardens no one ever sits upon the grass.
-Not only would it be in the highest degree improper, but it would
-spoil one’s clothes, and everyone would stare, and take one for quite
-a common person. Such an act would be impossible. If one sits at all,
-one sits upon a chair,--as I did then, though I would infinitely have
-preferred the ground, and my back against a tree, because the chair
-was most uncomfortable. And I prepared to lash myself with pessimistic
-and painful reflections on some such cheerful topic as the Vanity of
-Human Wishes--please put in the capital letters.
-
-Unfortunately, the sun was shining; and when the sun shines, and I am
-out-of-doors, and the air is fresh and sweet, and one feels that the
-summer is at hand, and there is no unsympathetic person to stick pins
-in you, somehow I never can make as much of my distresses as I ought
-to; they seem to melt. To begin with, they are solid; in fact,
-immensely solid, and I mean to keep them solid. Indeed, I often set
-out with the deliberate intention of considering nothing else but
-their immense solidity, and allowing nothing to interfere with my
-consideration either. Then, in some way, the sunshine gets into my
-eyes, or head, or something, and has a sort of a kind of a dazzling
-effect. It must have, because, all of a sudden, they are gone--or seem
-gone. I cannot see them anywhere. Of course, it is absurd, and most
-illogical; because, all the time, they must be there. But it really is
-fatal for me to start thinking of my grievances in fine weather. No
-matter how resolved I am to stick to the subject, I never can keep my
-mind fixed on them when the sun is shining, and I am
-out-of-doors--never.
-
-It was like that, then. I had not been on that chair three minutes
-when Ben Morgan came and seated himself on the one just next. I was
-too surprised for words, having had no notion that he was anywhere
-within miles. His coming in that unexpected and startling fashion
-knocked all the ideas clean out of my head, except the consciousness
-of my disgraceful conduct to him the day before. But his tact was
-marvellous; I always have been struck by it. He never hinted at it by
-so much as a syllable. And presently, to my absolute amazement, I
-found myself chattering away as if I had come out for that especial
-purpose.
-
-We began with what was in the newspaper, which I did not happen to
-have seen, though, from what I could gather from him, I had not lost
-much. And then--well then, the subject was changed. A white poodle
-crossed in front of us, and we began talking about dogs. We were both
-of us very fond of dogs, and, indeed, all sorts of animals; so that it
-was a topic which was interesting to us both. Then the subject was
-changed again. Became personal. Drifted, as it were. I have always
-laughed at people who did that sort of thing in Kensington Gardens. I
-never thought I should have done it--never. But it became sunnier and
-sunnier every moment, until I was looking at everything through a
-golden haze.
-
-Well--I said I would. And when I confessed my shame and my contrition
-for my behaviour to him yesterday, he said it did not matter--nothing
-mattered now. And I was the happiest girl in the world! As for being
-sorry because that fatal power of mine had endured for so short a
-time, it was the best thing that could have happened. I was delighted.
-How awful it would have been if everyone I met had kept on falling in
-love with me right off--high and low, married and single, young and
-old--when I wanted to be loved by no one else but Ben.
-
-When I told him, in a muddly way, of what had occurred, you should
-have seen how deliciously he was amused. Though he did say one
-ridiculous thing--that he could see nothing miraculous in people
-falling in love with me at sight, since no man worth his salt could
-help it. Of course I knew that that was one of love’s sweet perjuries.
-I am not sure that truth is always the thing which is most to be
-desired.
-
-He is not at all mis-shapen, really; or, if he is, the tiniest scrap:
-I love him all the more because of it. To me, he will always be
-straighter than I am; and, ever since I was the merest tot, for
-straightness, I have been a perfect grenadier.
-
-He would walk home with me; and he told them about it, then and there.
-You should have seen mamma and the girls when we walked in together.
-We had actually forgotten lunch; it was quite late in the afternoon;
-they were beginning to wonder what had become of me. When they learnt,
-their faces were a study. But they were positively as nice as possible
-to both of us. Mamma kissed me, and was quite sweet to Ben; and
-Audrey, in particular, said some lovely things.
-
-... We are going to have that scrap of paper, on which the writing
-was, framed, and hung up in--in our bedroom.
-
- [The End]
-
-
-
-
- TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES.
-
-Alterations to the text:
-
-Add TOC.
-
-Change several instances of _anyrate_ to _any rate_.
-
-Minor punctuation fixes.
-
-Note: minor spelling and hyphenization inconsistencies have been left
-as is.
-
-[Chapter III]
-
-“I am a kind of raree show, So whenever...” change comma to period.
-
-[Chapter V]
-
-“among all my compeers. am best qualified...” change period to comma.
-
-[Chapter IX]
-
-“than to the end of a _women’s_ arm.” to _woman’s_.
-
-“scarcely saying _bo_! to a goose” to _boo_.
-
-[Chapter XVIII]
-
-Change “when they were _yonng_” to _young_.
-
-Change “on the _otber_ side of the top...” to _other_.
-
-[Chapter XX]
-
-“or rage. or something.” change the period after _rage_ to a comma.
-
-Change “But this time I _sha’n’t_ mind.” to _shan’t_.
-
-[Chapter XXV]
-
-Change “A _promonitory_ something was...” to _premonitory_.
-
- [End of Text]
-
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-<head>
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- <title>
- The Magnetic Girl, by Richard Marsh
- </title>
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-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Magnetic Girl, by Richard Marsh</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
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-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: The Magnetic Girl</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Richard Marsh</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: March 29, 2021 [eBook #64957]<br />[Last updated: June 5, 2022]</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
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-<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: an anonymous Project Gutenberg volunteer.</div>
-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MAGNETIC GIRL ***</div>
-
-<div class="tp">
-<h1>
-THE MAGNETIC GIRL
-</h1>
-
-BY<br/>
-RICHARD MARSH<br/>
-<span class="font70">AUTHOR OF<br/>
-“<i>The Beetle</i>,” “<i>Curios: Some Strange Adventures of Two Bachelors</i>,”<br/>
-“<i>Ada Vernham, Actress</i>,” “<i>Mrs Musgrave and Her Husband</i>,”<br/>
-“<i>The Twickenham Peerage</i>,” <i>etc.</i></span>
-<br/><br/><br/><br/>
-London<br/>
-John Long<br/>
-13 and 14 Norris Street, Haymarket<br/>
-1903
-</div>
-
-
-<h2>
-COPYRIGHT.
-</h2>
-
-<p class="center">
-<i>Copyright by John Long 1903<br/>
-All Rights Reserved</i>
-</p>
-
-
-<h2>
-CONTENTS.
-</h2>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch01">CHAPTER I. A MAN</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch02">CHAPTER II. WOMEN’S VOICES</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch03">CHAPTER III. THE UNFINISHED SENTENCE</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch04">CHAPTER IV. THE EPISODE OF THE BAKER’S BOY</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch05">CHAPTER V. THE FURTHER EPISODES OF THE SHOP-WALKER AND THE ARTIST IN
-HAIR</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch06">CHAPTER VI. MISS NORAH FEELS ODD</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch07">CHAPTER VII. MISS NORAH RECEIVES TWO GENTLEMEN</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch08">CHAPTER VIII. MEN ARE DECEIVERS EVER</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch09">CHAPTER IX. MORE TREACHERY</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch10">CHAPTER X. THE COMPROMISE</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch11">CHAPTER XI. THE TURNING OF THE WORM</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch12">CHAPTER XII. MISS NORAH’S SOLILOQUY</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch13">CHAPTER XIII. JANE</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch14">CHAPTER XIV. A QUARTER TO SEVEN</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch15">CHAPTER XV. TRAMPLING UPON FIVE</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch16">CHAPTER XVI. THE DINNER WHICH FAILED</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch17">CHAPTER XVII. THE BROWN MAN</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch18">CHAPTER XVIII. BEFORE THE CURTAIN</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch19">CHAPTER XIX. AN UNREHEARSED EFFECT</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch20">CHAPTER XX. THE BROUGHAM</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch21">CHAPTER XXI. THE SINGULAR WOOING</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch22">CHAPTER XXII. I BEHAVE LIKE A GOOSE</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch23">CHAPTER XXIII. “UNTIL?”</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch24">CHAPTER XXIV. THE FINISHED SENTENCE</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch25">CHAPTER XXV. THE BROWN MAN’S APOLOGY</a>
-</p>
-
-<p class="toc_1">
-<a href="#ch26">CHAPTER XXVI. ON THE SINGULAR EFFECTS OF SUNLIGHT</a>
-</p>
-
-
-<h2>
-THE MAGNETIC GIRL
-</h2>
-
-<h3 class="nobreak" id="ch01">
-CHAPTER I.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">A MAN</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">It</span> was the most extraordinary thing that ever happened to anyone. I
-really hardly know how to begin to tell about it. I was doing my hair
-before the looking-glass in my bedroom&mdash;and I could not help noticing
-that it was rather a curious colour, though my eyes were nearly
-blinded by tears of rage, and something else. The rage was because
-Lilian and Audrey and Eveleen and Doris, and mother too, had been
-saying all the nasty things they could to me. The something else was
-because Benjamin Morgan had asked me to be his wife.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There&mdash;it’s out! My first proposal of marriage&mdash;my very, very first!
-and that it should have come from him! It made me go hot all over with
-shame and disgust and a most singular variety of feelings.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They had been teasing me about him for ever so long; congratulating
-me&mdash;of course, with the most biting sarcasm&mdash;on having made a conquest
-at last. I am twenty-three, and nearly twenty-four, and no man ever
-paid me the least attention&mdash;until Mr Morgan began. And I wished he
-had not; because they made the most dreadful fun of him, and teased me
-more than they had ever done before&mdash;which is saying more than words
-can describe&mdash;on account of his being a hunchback. At least, he’s not
-exactly a hunchback, though they say he is: but I do like to be
-accurate, and I don’t care who laughs at me, and I’m quite sure that
-it’s only one shoulder which is a little higher than the other.
-There’s no denying that he is rather short for a man. His nurse
-dropped him when he was a baby. For years they never thought that he
-would live. If it were not for that there would be nothing against
-him. He has a nice face,&mdash;no one can say that there is anything the
-matter with that; with big black eyes, and the sweetest smile, and the
-pleasantest voice. He was the most thoughtful person I ever met. As
-generous as could be. He never said disagreeable things about anyone.
-I never saw him impatient, or out of temper. Though he had a way,
-sometimes, of making you understand that he was hurt by something
-which had been said or done, which made you feel that you were a
-perfect wretch.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-If he had not been crooked! They never ceased to laugh at me because
-of “Crooked Ben,”&mdash;as they loved to call him. It got to such a state
-that I grew to hate the sight of him. At the mere mention of his name
-I would go hot all over;&mdash;they were always dragging him in by the head
-and ears! Persisting&mdash;in season and out of season!&mdash;in telling me how
-glad they were that I had some sort of an admirer at last, even if it
-wasn’t a very straight one. That made me so wild that I would declare
-that he was no admirer of mine, though I could not help but suspect
-the contrary. Then, of course, they would go on worse than ever,
-saying that having a lover like that was almost like having two:
-because he had two such different sides to him that no one would
-suppose that the one belonged to the other; and that when he was my
-husband I might call one side of him by one name, and the other by
-another. I have not the very best of tempers, and when they talked
-like that I would fly into such rages; vowing and declaring that
-nothing on earth would ever induce me to have anything to do with him,
-and that nothing was further from his mind than the idea of asking me,
-since I had given him no sort of encouragement, but, on the contrary,
-had given him clearly to understand that I did not desire even his
-acquaintance.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-And now, in spite of all my vows and declarations, he had actually
-made me a proposal of marriage. If they ever came to hear of it I
-might as well go into a lunatic asylum at once; because they would
-certainly end by driving me there.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-And yet I was not so sure as I should have liked to have been that I
-was beside myself with indignation at the mere notion of his audacity.
-Though, of course, I was wild. But, I suppose, the fact is, if you
-never have had a proposal from anyone, in a kind of a way it is
-interesting to have an offer from anyone or anything,&mdash;even from, in a
-manner of speaking, a monkey on a stick. If only just to know what it
-sounds like and how it’s done.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Everything was against Mr Morgan from the very start;&mdash;I will own
-that. When he met me I was in a red-hot rage. If a king on his throne
-had asked me to be his wife I should have felt like scratching him.
-Mother had just been telling me that I was getting dowdier and
-dowdier, and uglier and uglier every day, and if that sort of remark
-makes anyone feel like sugar and spice and all that’s nice, then all I
-can say is that it doesn’t me. I had really gone out to get something
-in High Street. But the thought of what a dreary waste my life
-actually was made me turn away from shops in disgust, and seek the
-solitude of Kensington Gardens. I had scarcely gone fifty yards along
-the Broad Walk when I all but ran against Mr Morgan. The sight of him
-made me madder than ever. He just looked at me. When he was near I
-used to have a horrid feeling that he understood me almost as well as
-I did myself; and that he more than suspected that I was an ugly
-duckling in my way almost as much as he was in his. It made me wild,
-the idea of being bracketed, in any sense whatever, with him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I noticed what a shiny top-hat he had on,&mdash;I never saw anyone who wore
-more beautiful top-hats; his taste was excellent; he was always
-faultlessly dressed. I was filled with a vindictive desire to knock
-off his hat with my parasol, and kick it; I did so feel like kicking
-someone. There can be no real doubt that I have both a bad temper and
-savage instincts. But so far was he from realising what was passing
-through my mind that he gave me what was unmistakably a look of
-sympathy;&mdash;there is nothing I hate so much as being sympathised with.
-The thought that he was doing so made me wilder than ever. But before
-I had a chance of snubbing him he began&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I was just thinking of you, Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s a pity you were not better employed,” I retorted, with a
-conspicuous display of both gratitude and good breeding.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you. Your pity is wasted. I could not be better employed.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-His unruffled air made me disposed to be ruder than ever; and I was
-just about to tell him that it was most unfortunate that he had no
-better occupation for his time, when off he started,&mdash;right in the
-middle of the Broad Walk, in front of all the people, without the
-slightest prelude.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I could hardly be better employed than in thinking of the woman I
-wish to make my wife. And you are she.&mdash;Norah, will you be my wife?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was so startled,&mdash;genuinely startled, that I was thrown all in a
-fluster. That he had had some faint notion at the back of his head I
-had feared; I do not mind admitting it. But that it had anything like
-come to a head I had never imagined. That I do protest. Still less had
-I supposed that, under any circumstances, he would blurt it out in
-that public place, and in that extraordinary manner. It was entirely
-contrary to my most cherished notions. I could conceive of a
-declaration being led up to gradually&mdash;of its taking a final form in
-some delicate phrase, amidst suitable surroundings, at an appropriate
-moment.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-But that, five seconds after encountering me in a tearing temper,
-amidst crowds of people, anyone should ask me, in a casual sort of
-manner, to be his wife, as if he were asking for the next dance&mdash;that
-I had not conceived of as possible. I felt, for the moment, as if I
-was breathless; looking at him as if to make sure whether I could
-believe the evidence of my eyes and ears.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What did you say?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I asked you if you will be my wife. Will you, Norah?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Not a word about love. Not a hint of any admiration he might feel; of
-regard which had been gradually growing up within his breast. Not a
-sign of perturbation. I had read about the awkward shyness, the
-painful self-consciousness, with which some men approached that most
-delicate of subjects. There were no symptoms of anything of the kind
-about Mr Benjamin Morgan. At least, he did not wear them on his
-exterior. His tone and manner could not have been more matter-of-fact,
-if he had been asking me whether I thought that it was going to rain.
-I was so taken aback, that I hardly knew how to treat him. I tried
-dignity.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Is this a jest?” I inquired. “If so, you must allow me to observe
-that I don’t think it is quite in the best of taste.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If it were a jest, it would be in the very worst of taste. But it is
-not a jest, and you know it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Really, he was even more dignified than I was. Had I not known it was
-impossible, I might have supposed that he was snubbing me on account
-of the suggestion I had made. As if it had not been the most
-reasonable one in the world. I said nothing. The truth is, I could
-think of nothing to say. The position was such an excessively peculiar
-one, that I did not feel myself at once capable of treating him with
-the crushing scorn which I was becoming rapidly conscious he deserved.
-What he imagined my silence meant, I cannot say; but though it seems
-nearly incredible, I am almost drawn to the conclusion that he took it
-to imply encouragement. The calm way in which he went on talking
-forces me to think it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I do not fancy we have had very happy lives, either you or I. I take
-it that we have both led Robinson Crusoe sort of existences, on desert
-islands of our own. I am a lonely man; you are a lonely girl.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I a lonely girl! Are you forgetting that I have four sisters and a
-mother?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No; I am not forgetting it. But one may have a host of mere
-relations, and yet be all alone.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mere relations!” I liked the word. I began to bristle all over. How
-dare he speak of my four sisters&mdash;not to mention mamma!&mdash;as “mere”
-relations. His assurance was increasing. I had never supposed him
-capable of such audacity.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I will trouble you to speak of my family with respect, Mr Morgan, and
-not as if they were persons of absolutely no account.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Nothing was further from my wish than to speak of any member of your
-family with disrespect. But I think that even you will admit that,
-even in your own home, you are alone.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It made me furious to hear him say so,&mdash;even though it might be true.
-It was no business of anybody’s how my own people chose to treat me;
-they had no right to even notice. Nothing is more unpleasant than to
-have a stranger spying on what happens to you in the bosom of your own
-family. And so I longed to tell him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You are quite mistaken, Mr Morgan. I am not lonely&mdash;not in the very
-least&mdash;ever! And I cannot conceive what leads you to suppose that I
-am.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I recognise the chivalry which prompts your answer.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Chivalry!&mdash;What are you talking about, Mr Morgan?&mdash;Have you lost your
-senses?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No; not yet. As I trust that you will afford me opportunities of
-proving to you. I at least am lonely&mdash;I believe the very loneliest
-creature in the whole world. I want you to take pity on my solitude.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am very sorry for you if you are so much alone.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do you mean it?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Of course I mean it. Why do you persist in hinting that I keep on
-saying what I don’t mean?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If you do mean it&mdash;really mean it&mdash;then you have made of me the
-happiest of men.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s nonsense. It’s absurd to say that my being sorry for you can
-make you happy.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It is not absurd; because if you are really sorry&mdash;as you say you
-are&mdash;you will put an end to my loneliness.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I looked at him, beginning to get red all over. It commenced to dawn
-upon me what he meant. I had not supposed that he was a master of such
-roundabout ways.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I quite fail to understand you, Mr Morgan.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Is it not plain that, if you are really sorry for me, you will be my
-wife? And then I can assure you, from the bottom of my heart, that I
-shall be the happiest of men.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Such insidious methods of arriving at entirely erroneous conclusions I
-was unaccustomed to. It was becoming momentarily plain to me that I
-had not known Mr Benjamin Morgan so well as I imagined. I had supposed
-that he was an artless sort of person; and now it almost began to
-appear that he was a regular Jesuit.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I do wish, Mr Morgan, that you would not talk nonsense. I am not
-feeling very well, and I can assure you that I am in anything but a
-mood for frivolity.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then our moods are in sympathy. You surely do not suggest that to ask
-you to be my wife is to be frivolous. It is to me the most important
-question that ever yet was asked. The expression of your sympathy
-emboldens me to put it again.&mdash;Norah, please say that you will be my
-wife.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He raised his hand, and with the tips of his fingers touched my
-arm&mdash;out there in the Broad Walk, before all the people. Something
-seemed, all at once, to go right through me;&mdash;whether it was the
-sudden surprise of his touch, or the strangeness of his tone, I could
-not say. But for the moment I felt almost inclined to cry&mdash;and to do
-something much worse. For one dreadful second I was almost on the
-verge of making a perfect idiot of myself. It is frightful to think of
-such a thing being possible, but I am nearly disposed to believe that
-if we had been alone, and there had been nothing to divert my
-attention, I might have done. But just at that second I saw Lena
-Portch coming towards us with Mr Champneys, and the smile which she
-gave made me frantic. She is Lilian’s particular friend, and quite as
-fond of chaffing me about “Crooked Ben” as any of them. I could not
-but suspect that there might be something a little peculiar about our
-attitude, and the way we were behaving to one another. The idea that I
-should allow him to make a public spectacle of me, and furnish Lena
-with a first-rate tale for Lilian, was unendurable. I became all at
-once so angry&mdash;so stupidly angry!&mdash;that I forgot my manners
-altogether, not to speak of any fragments of common decency which I
-may suppose myself to possess, and behaved myself like the absolute
-little wretch which at heart I am.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you. I am obliged to you for your offer, Mr Morgan. But I do
-not care to marry just at present; and, when I do marry, I intend to
-marry a man.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-No one need tell me that it was a perfectly disgraceful thing to say.
-No one could have been better aware of it than I was. I could have
-bitten my own tongue off for having said it the very moment
-afterwards: I never should have said it at all if it had not been for
-the horrid smile I saw on Lena’s face, and my instant perception of
-the sort of yarn she would make all possible haste to spin. I know
-that that is not the least excuse; but it is all the excuse I have to
-offer,&mdash;I could cry at the mere thought of it even now.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Lena and Mr Champneys passed on. Mr Morgan was still. He just looked
-at me once,&mdash;a startled, dreadful sort of look; and then he looked
-away, walking on by my side in silence. I seemed somehow to have
-caught a sudden chill. I was shivering all over,&mdash;I could have beaten
-myself with pleasure. How long the silence lasted, or how far we
-walked before we spoke again, I have not the faintest notion. But I
-know that at last he stood still, and turned, and looked at me,&mdash;and
-there was something in his look which seemed to make my heart go cold
-as ice. He said&mdash;there was a quiver in his voice which made me flinch
-as if he had struck me with a whip,&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“When you do marry, you intend to marry a man. I had not thought, Miss
-Norah, that you would have said that to me. Good-day;&mdash;and good-bye.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He raised his hat, and walked away, and left me speechless, rooted to
-the ground, feeling, as I deserved to feel, like an utter fool;&mdash;like
-a wicked, cruel, thoughtless, idiotic fool,&mdash;and worse than that!
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch02">
-CHAPTER II.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">WOMEN’S VOICES</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">He</span> never looked round once; though I stood where he had left me,
-looking after him till he was lost among the crowd. What people
-thought of me I cannot say. And I didn’t care. They must have supposed
-that I was a sort of Lot’s wife, turned into a pillar, or something.
-But, at that moment, what other people thought of me did not matter in
-the least. What I thought of myself was a nightmare. I marched off
-home, feeling as if I would have liked to have pinched everyone I met.
-I passed Lena Portch, who was still with Mr Champneys,&mdash;a most
-objectionable person, who <i>will</i> wear shepherd’s-plaid trousers, which
-I abominate. Lena was to blame for everything. She stood at the gate
-as I was coming out of the Gardens. Directly afterwards I saw that she
-was crossing the road. I am sure, if a motor car, which almost made an
-end of me, had knocked her down, and run right over her, I would not
-have turned a hair. If Mr Champneys does marry her I hope he’ll beat
-her. I have a moral conviction that he is just that kind of creature.
-What can a man be like who lives in shepherd’s-plaid trousers?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When I reached home I was hot, and dishevelled, and all anyhow. I knew
-I should get it directly I set foot inside the door,&mdash;that is, unless
-I could manage to slip upstairs before anyone caught sight of me. And
-I got it&mdash;mamma opened the door for me herself. We had had a
-difficulty with our servants. It is my belief that when five women
-live alone in a house together they always are having difficulties
-with their servants. I know we were. The cook and the parlour-maid had
-left at a moment’s notice&mdash;or, rather, without a moment’s notice.
-Lilian and Audrey had complained about the state their things were in,
-as if they had been worn. Inquiries had been made, and there was quite
-a scene: I should not be surprised if the cook had worn some of
-Lilian’s frocks&mdash;they had just about the same figure. Anyhow, only the
-housemaid remained, and she was in two minds. And as, as yet, we had
-been able to get no one in to help her, we were at her mercy.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Why, mamma,” I exclaimed, when I saw that it was she who had opened
-the door, “where is Jane?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s Jane’s afternoon out; and, of course, I should not dream of
-asking her to inconvenience herself to oblige me. It’s the mistresses
-who are the servants nowadays. What a state you’re in.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She spoke in her most acid tones. Mamma is not very tall, and rather
-dumpy, and though she always dresses in black silk she never appears
-imposing, though she tries her best to think she does.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Why, what’s the matter with me? I’ve been walking fast, and am rather
-hot,&mdash;that’s all.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“All! Haven’t I forbidden you to walk fast? Are you not aware that
-nothing accentuates the unfortunate vulgarity of your appearance so
-much as heat? Your hat is on one side, your hair is out of curl, your
-necktie is under your chin. You look positively blowsy. I am ashamed
-to see such a figure entering my house. And where are the things?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Things?” I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten all about them. I
-had intended to get them as I returned from my stroll in Kensington
-Gardens; but what had taken place there had driven them right out of
-my head. “I meant to get them as I came back, but&mdash;I didn’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Meant to get them as you came back! What do you mean? Did I not send
-you out for them, and for them only?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Surely, Norah, you have not come back without my stockings? You know
-perfectly well that I can’t wear those shoes without them; nothing I
-have will do at all.&mdash;And where’s my matching?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Lilian had appeared out of the dining-room. She had bought a new pair
-of brown shoes, which she wanted to wear that evening, and it seemed
-that nothing she had in the way of hose was of quite the proper shade.
-She had given me a scrap of material which was the shade. It seemed
-that I had not only forgotten her stockings, but lost the matching.
-She let me have it when she became aware of the fact. Lilian is tall;
-and&mdash;sometimes&mdash;stately; and is considered smart; but she can be
-disagreeable, and most abusive. In fact, they can all of them be that.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really, Norah, you are the most stupid person I ever met. Some people
-might suppose that you could not be so stupid as you look; but, I will
-do you the justice to admit that you appear to try your very best to
-be.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That was a pleasant thing to say! While I was searching about for
-something nice and stinging to reply, Doris came out of the
-morning-room on to the top of the stairs, and she began:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I suppose, Norah, that you have brought my fringe-nets, because I
-simply can’t do my hair until I have them. I’ve just torn my very
-last.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Then she supposed wrong, because I had not; and so I told her. The
-bathroom door was opened, and Audrey’s voice was heard. I never knew
-anyone for baths like Audrey. She likes to have three or four a day,
-with the water about up to boiling-point, and oatmeal in it; and there
-she lies and stews. What good she thinks it does her is beyond me. I
-am sure it doesn’t make her skin any whiter. It couldn’t. It’s
-perfectly white and as smooth as satin already. I only wish mine was
-like it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Is that Norah? Has she brought that ribbon for my bodice? Because if
-she has, I’ll put it in at once.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There was no ribbon to be got out of me, neither for her bodice, nor
-for anything else, as Eveleen, who had followed Lilian out of the
-dining-room, proceeded to explain.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Oh dear no! she’s brought nothing, except herself;&mdash;and a pretty self
-she looks. Upon my word, Norah, I wonder that you can’t manage to keep
-yourself a trifle tidy&mdash;say about as tidy as the average charwoman.
-Especially as you can’t afford to look as if you had got your clothes
-on inside out. Some girls can; but, I assure you, you’re not one of
-them.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Eveleen is one of your dainty bandbox sort of girls. She never wears a
-pin. All her clothes seem to be part of her. You might live with her
-for years and never know that she even used hairpins. How she prevents
-their ever peeping out is beyond my understanding. And as for nets,
-they are put on so knowingly, and match her hair so exactly, that you
-would never guess that anything of that kind could have anything to do
-with the exquisite neatness of her hair.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“We can’t all appear like barbers’ blocks, and look as if our hair
-were sent home, ready dressed, with the fish every day.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That was what I observed. We adjourned to the dining-room, and the
-discussion began. How many of them we have had of which I have been
-the subject! No one ever seems to grow tired of them&mdash;except me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah,” mamma began, “I must ask you not to be rude. Your natural
-vulgarity, I suppose, you cannot help; but I will have you keep a
-guard upon your tongue when you are speaking to your sisters. I cannot
-understand why Providence ever afflicted me with such a child.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I thought, mamma, that that was a problem which you had given up some
-time ago.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Unfortunately, the affliction continues. My other daughters do me
-credit”&mdash;they were all of them beauties;&mdash;that was what made it so
-maddening for me. “I myself am not ill-looking.” (Mamma had been very
-pretty; and still looked nice, especially at night. Only I wish she
-would not wear a transformation&mdash;which seems to me to be just the same
-thing as a wig. Considering that Lilian is twenty-nine, and everybody
-knows it, it is so obvious.) “I therefore cannot understand how it is
-that I should have a child who is not only unprepossessing, but who
-cannot be induced to pay any attention to even the most elementary
-rules of toilet which every gentlewoman observes. A servant would be
-ashamed to appear in public in the condition in which you at present
-are.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Eveleen struck in:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I should think so! No decent servant looks as if she had covered
-herself with the contents of the rag-bag. Are you aware, Norah, that
-your belt has worked up behind, and that the hooks on your skirt are
-showing?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And your shoe-lace is untied; and, unless I am mistaken, your
-stocking is concertinaed about your ankle;&mdash;but she doesn’t mind.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This was Lilian. Mamma followed:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But <i>I</i> mind. In spite of every obstacle I have treated you exactly
-as I have done your sisters. But the problem becomes more serious
-every day. How do you suppose that I am ever going to get you properly
-settled in life if you persist in making of yourself a scarecrow?&mdash;an
-absolute figure of fun?&mdash;I am compelled to use such language.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Oh, you needn’t trouble about a trifle of that sort. She’s settled
-all that for herself. She has her eye on Crooked Ben;&mdash;which is only
-as it should be, because, then, they’ll be a pair of figures of fun.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This, again, was Lilian. The things she allows herself to say when she
-is in the mood, if they heard them, would startle some of the people
-who call her stately. She may consider herself ultra-refined, and I do
-not deny that she looks it, but I am persuaded that at heart she is
-almost as vulgar as I am. When she said that, it made me mad. I flew
-at her like a wild-cat. I was just in the mood for it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You talk, with a sneer, of Crooked Ben! You may have had bushels of
-proposals”&mdash;she has had heaps and heaps,&mdash;“but there wasn’t one among
-the lot worthy to black his boots. As for Mr Rumford, that
-bald-headed, bloated object, with quack written large all over him,
-you may like to have him muddling about you, but I wouldn’t touch him
-with a pair of tongs.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Lilian went white. The truth is, she was nearly twenty-nine, and I
-suppose thought it about time to have someone for a husband, and as Mr
-Rumford was showing a strong inclination to apply for the position, I
-rather fancy she was considering whether he would not do. He had made
-piles of money out of a patent medicine called “Aunt Jane’s Jalap,”
-and was really not such a bad sort in his way: though just then I was
-anything but disposed to let her know I thought so. Eveleen took up
-the cudgels for Lilian;&mdash;they always stand up for each other against
-me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What a delicate way you have of putting a thing, Norah. You and your
-language are so in keeping. If you could only induce someone to
-transfer you from the family of which you so entirely disapprove how
-much happier you would be&mdash;and we also. Couldn’t you put the screw on
-Mr Morgan? He seems to be the only chance you are ever likely to have.
-Do make the most of him. Let mamma ask him what he means.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Look here, Eveleen! You think yourself vastly superior to me&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not at all. Not while your complexion is quite so brilliant&mdash;I
-couldn’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Oh yes, you do. But you’re wrong for all that. You’ve spent your
-whole life in chasing men&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I rather fancied that some of them had chased me. But I daresay it’s
-the same thing to you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Is there anything to be proud of in that? You’ve devoted your whole
-life to men, anyhow, and I don’t think that’s very womanly.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I think it probable that you wouldn’t&mdash;for reasons.&mdash;My dear Norah,
-do use your handkerchief. There’s a drop of perspiration trickling
-down your nose. Or is it a tear? It doesn’t seem to combine with
-freckles.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris struck in.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“When you people have quite finished, might I ask if I am ever going
-to have any fringe-nets? I can’t remain the whole day with my hair in
-curlers.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She had it in curlers then, and very queer she looked. No one would
-have known her for the radiant Doris of her admirers. Nothing takes
-the gilt off a girl’s appearance so much as curlers. Unless mamma
-makes me I never use them. Thank goodness, my hair has got a curl of
-its own, if it is not quite in the style of the barbers’
-fashion-plates. Mamma&mdash;who never thinks of being down on them for
-anything which they may say to me&mdash;was quick at seconding Doris’
-suggestion.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah, be so good as to let me hear no more from you. Both your
-language and your appearance smack of the servants’ hall. You will
-fetch the things I requested you to bring before. Then I will ask you
-for an explanation of how it is that you have failed to bring them
-now. Go up to your room, and make yourself look as decent as you
-conveniently can, and be quick about it;&mdash;and not another word!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Lilian stood up.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I suppose I had better find you another matching. You are sure to
-bring something impossible if I don’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Eveleen put in her word.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I should say that she’s sure to bring something impossible in any
-case. I would rather be excused from trusting her to get anything of
-the least importance for me. I admire your courage.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“She had better not make any mess about those nets of mine,” cried
-Doris; “or things will become exhilarating. Norah, if you tell them at
-Morrel’s that they’re for me there will be no mess. I suppose you have
-some sense.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Doris, what an inexhaustible fund of confidence you have in Norah. It
-may be sisterly; but is it wise?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Just as I was going to snap off Eveleen’s nose, of course mamma must
-interfere:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, Norah, not another word. Do as I tell you. Go upstairs, and
-endeavour to make yourself look more like a daughter of mine should
-do, and then go and fetch those things&mdash;and mind there are no
-mistakes.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I went upstairs. As I went I heard Eveleen laugh. I knew she was
-laughing at me. She may have a musical laugh&mdash;I have been told
-hundreds of times she has, so I suppose she must have&mdash;but it did not
-sound musical to me just then. It put all my nerves on edge.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch03">
-CHAPTER III.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE UNFINISHED SENTENCE</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">Was</span> it strange that I was in a pretty state of mind? Was it to be
-wondered at that I hardly knew if I was standing on my head or heels?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When I got into my room I slammed the door, and turned the key. I tore
-my hat off and threw it on to the bed. I could have cried; but I make
-it a rule never to cry&mdash;or hardly ever. Besides, I was only too well
-aware that if I once started I never should leave off; and then I
-should have jumped from the frying-pan into the fire, with a
-vengeance. They would tear me to pieces if I did not make haste and
-get the rubbish they wanted.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I went to the looking-glass. There was no mistake about it, I did look
-hideous. There was some excuse for some of the things they said. It
-has always been a conviction of mine that if they would let me dress
-as I pleased I might look presentable. But they won’t let me. They all
-dress like fashion-plates, and nothing could suit them better; and
-they make me dress like the fashion-plates, and nothing could suit me
-less. I believe they are afraid of me getting out of the picture; or,
-rather, of my being a sort of picture all by myself, and so diverting
-attention from them. As it is I am a kind of raree show. So whenever
-they take me out with them&mdash;which is very seldom; for, in any case,
-five sisters are a frightful crowd&mdash;I am either a perpetual
-wallflower, or an ideal gooseberry, neither of which <i>rôles</i> I care
-for in the very least.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I am big&mdash;taller than Lilian, and much broader. I have great limbs&mdash;I
-cannot help it if they are like a man’s, though mamma is always
-throwing it in my teeth. I like all sorts of exercise. The only form
-of exercise they really like is dancing. They dance exquisitely. My
-dancing is like an elephant’s&mdash;I am always having to apologise for
-getting on my partner’s toes. I should like to spend the whole of my
-life in the open air. I sometimes fancy that mamma thinks there is
-something improper in being out-of-doors. She is always exclaiming
-against what she calls masculine women&mdash;by which she means girls who
-golf, and row, and ride bicycles, and all that sort of thing. I should
-like to go in for everything athletic, but they won’t let me. They
-keep me fastened in a tight pair of corsets, which sometimes make me
-feel as if I were being held in a vice. I am in a dreadful
-condition&mdash;soft as putty, instead of hard as nails. I cannot walk a
-quarter of a mile, at anything like a decent pace, without perspiring.
-Then they laugh at me. If they would let me go in for some real hard
-work, like lots of other girls do, I would soon show them. By nature I
-am a sort of female Hercules; it is a shame that they insist on making
-me a jelly-fish.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I want to have plenty of room inside my clothes. I want my hair to do
-itself; it would not look so bad with just a touch or two, even if it
-ran a trifle wild. I want my boots and shoes to humour my feet, I do
-not want my feet to have to humour them; I am not ashamed of their
-being large. I do not want to be screwed into an imitation Paris
-costume, which is too tight everywhere, and bursts when I lift my
-arms. I know I look a gawk in it, and I always shall. If they would
-let me be natural&mdash;my own self&mdash;I do believe I should pass muster.
-Girls of my build are not meant to be made up in imitation of Dresden
-china, or Watteau drawings.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The result of such attempts was to be seen there in the mirror. A
-great picture hat, with the flowers all anyhow. Flowers never will
-look as they ought to on my big hats&mdash;flopping about in a lop-sided
-fashion, on the crest of a draggly handful of sandy-coloured hair. It
-does not look a handful; but that is because they make me wear pads
-and frames, and all sorts of horrors, which will show through; and
-they call it sandy, though it is my private opinion that it is a sort
-of light chestnut. If they would only let me do it up in a simple
-twist, and wear it on the top of my head, I am persuaded that it would
-not look half bad, though I am aware that the colour is unusual. Under
-the floppity hat, a good-sized face, with big grey eyes, a straight
-nose, largish mouth&mdash;it is a decent shape if it is large, and the lips
-are nice ones. The freckles I do not deny; but there are not more than
-twelve or thirteen altogether, and they are principally on the left
-side of my nose. But the perspiration I was in! It made me disgusted
-to see that my skin was positively greasy, and there were beads upon
-my forehead. The truth is, I am built for work, or, at any rate, for
-plenty of hard out-of-doors exercise; and if I cannot get it, I am
-bound to be a nuisance to myself, and an object to others. Mr Morgan,
-if one of his shoulders is a little higher than the other, is an
-all-round athlete, though he was so weak as a child. It is because he
-has gone in for everything that he is now as strong as a horse. If I
-went in for everything, I believe that inside twelve months I should
-be a different person.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I only wished that I had a chance of trying.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When I saw what a sight I looked in that glass, and how unfitted I was
-to fill the fashion-plate <i>rôle</i> for which they insisted on casting
-me, I did feel that some people had all the luck, while others had
-none. My chances for having a good time were slipping
-away&mdash;twenty-three is an age. The good marriage I was expected to make
-was a dream of the mater’s: as she was beginning bitterly to realise:
-unless I married Ben Morgan, which, of course, would be absurd.
-Compared with my sisters, I was not in it. Not a man would ever look
-at me when they were by, or even near. Considering that it was
-supposed to be my mission in life to attract men, it was really tragic
-what an awful failure I was. Among the dozens who were proud to call
-themselves my sisters’ friends, I doubt if there were many who even
-knew my Christian name. I was quite aware how they talked of me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You know that youngest O’Brady girl? Sort of understudy for a
-grenadier, who looks as if she got her clothes from a dealer in
-decayed wardrobes, and put them on inside out.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You don’t mean to say that that’s the youngest?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“She’s the youngest in years and sense; but so far as looks and that
-sort of thing is concerned, she might have come out of the ark. Can’t
-think what they call the creature.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What does it matter what they call a girl like that?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That was part of a conversation I once overheard at a dance. The first
-speaker had been recently entrapped into having a waltz with me, which
-I doubt if he had enjoyed. I know I hadn’t&mdash;a possible explanation of
-his exceeding bitterness. But that his remarks were typical of the
-kind of thing which was being said of me on all sides I had every
-reason to suppose.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-What could people be expected to say of such an object as I saw before
-me in that looking-glass?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Oh,” I cried, “if only for a short time I could have my time! If I
-could only make those girls feel what I have felt&mdash;the insolence of
-masculine imbeciles, the snubs of conceited boys, the contemptuous
-impertinence of their uncles and their fathers, even of their
-grandsires! If only I could treat some of those men as all of them
-have treated me I’d give&mdash;well, it’s no use my talking about giving
-anything, because I’ve just simply nothing to give; but wouldn’t I
-like to have the chance.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I had my comb in my hand at the moment. I had torn off my hat, and was
-trying to do something to my hair, without letting it down, and taking
-my bodice off, and all the rest of the fuss which a girl has to go
-through if she wants to titivate herself. I brought the comb down bang
-whack against the dressing-table to emphasise my concluding
-aspiration.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If only every masculine thing had to fall madly in love with me at
-sight! There; now I’ve done it!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I had&mdash;broken the comb into two clear halves. And I had only had it a
-week. I cannot think how it is that my things do break so. I should
-have to buy a new one that very afternoon; though it would only be a
-shilling one, because funds were low, and combs were waste of money.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As I was surveying the broken pieces with a pretty wry face&mdash;it was a
-tortoise-shell comb; I happened to know that mamma had paid
-twelve-and-six for it, to match my toilet-set; she would go on when
-she knew what had happened&mdash;I became conscious that something very odd
-indeed was taking place. On the top of the little drawers which was on
-one side of my dressing-table was half a sheet of notepaper. Just an
-ordinary half-sheet which I had torn off somebody’s letter and left
-there; I have a trick of keeping half-sheets. A second ago that
-half-sheet was blank. Now I became aware that someone&mdash;or
-something&mdash;was writing on it. I heard a faint scratching noise.
-Turning, I saw that letters were forming upon the paper&mdash;how, I cannot
-say. They appeared to be written in ink, though there were no signs of
-a pen, and certainly none of anybody holding it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was the strangest feeling, to stand there and watch words
-apparently writing themselves upon that piece of paper. I know it
-sounds incredible, and it is incredible; but it’s true, for all that.
-It was just simply the most extraordinary thing that ever
-happened&mdash;and lots of people know that extraordinary things do happen.
-When you have lived to my time of life, and have had my experience,
-you know that as a solemn fact. Though, I repeat once more, that that
-was the most wonderful experience even I ever had.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I cannot describe my sensations as I stood there watching. The two
-halves of the comb in my hands, my hair all anyhow, my bodice
-positively maddening beneath my arms, and, I was convinced, unhooked
-behind, rage in my bosom, perspiration on my brow. It was so
-frightfully mysterious; there is nothing I dislike like things I do
-not understand, they make you feel yourself so insignificant. Then the
-letters went on forming themselves before my eyes, and there I
-remained looking on like a stuck pig, until I could endure it no
-longer. I snatched up the paper, exclaiming:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What are you doing?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Though to whom I addressed the inquiry I have not the faintest notion.
-On that half-sheet of paper, staring me in the face, were the words:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Your wish shall be gratified u&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The sentence ended with the letter “u,” just that, and nothing more.
-It seemed that I had snatched it up before it was finished, so that
-what the conclusion would have been was still another mystery. Though,
-beside the first and chief mystery of how those words came there at
-all, other considerations were but trifles. What did they mean? “Your
-wish shall be gratified u&mdash;&mdash;” What wish? I was continually wishing. I
-never have anything, and nothing ever happens that I really want, so
-it is only natural. To what wish was the reference made? For what
-particular thing had I been wishing recently?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Why&mdash;not a minute ago&mdash;with what wild words had I been easing my mind?
-In my temper&mdash;my usual temper. I certainly am the worst-tempered girl
-I ever met, though I believe that, as a rule, girls are worse tempered
-than men&mdash;they have more cause to be, poor things. In some things it
-is horrid being a girl&mdash;what was it I had said? Something about every
-masculine creature tumbling head over heels in love with me at sight.
-Had I not wished that that fate were mine?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Was that the wish? No; absurd! ridiculous! preposterous! What could
-put such nonsensical thoughts into my head? It just showed, when your
-head was empty, what stuff could get in. But&mdash;still&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-My gracious! If that was the wish which was to be gratified, would it
-not be&mdash;wouldn’t it just be larks.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch04">
-CHAPTER IV.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE EPISODE OF THE BAKER’S BOY</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">As</span> I continued wondering, with the paper still in my hand, mamma’s
-voice called to me outside the door.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah! there’s the baker at the door; you must go and take in the
-bread.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mamma!” I exclaimed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You must. Jane said she would come back for tea, but she hasn’t put
-in an appearance yet. Somebody must go, and I can’t, and your sisters
-are dressing; you ought to be ready by now; you must do those errands.
-There, he’s knocking again&mdash;go down to him at once!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I obeyed. Did my hair somehow, crammed my hat on anyhow, and down the
-stairs I went. A pretty task to set me! Down the kitchen stairs I
-hurried, to the area door, on the glass window of which vigorous
-knuckles were beating a sort of tattoo. The moment I opened it I was
-greeted in the most surprising way.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now then, slowcoach, you seem to take some time a-washing of
-yourself! Think I’ve got nothing else to do except keep on a-waiting
-here all day?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was astonished. I fancy, when he saw me, that the speaker was
-astonished too, though he scarcely showed it in a manner which I
-thought fitting.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Hollo! beg pardon! my crikey! Are you the new young lady?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Evidently this was a person who needed a good deal of freezing. I
-wondered that even Jane had not succeeded in snubbing him into better
-manners. I assumed my most dignified bearing&mdash;which is not saying
-much, for dignity is not my strongest point&mdash;and was as frigid as the
-fact that my actual temperature was somewhere about boiling point
-permitted.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Please give me the bread.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s all right! I’ll give it you with the very greatest pleasure;
-and I’d like to give you something else as well.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-And before I could stop him, this remarkable individual was off at a
-gallop on a line which was distinctly his very own.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My name’s Bob Stevens. I’ve been walking out with the young lady what
-was here before you. She left yesterday; cruel hard they treated her;
-no young lady couldn’t have stood it what had any spirit. This is a
-nice place, this is&mdash;five scratch-catting young women, and an old
-geeser of a mother. It won’t suit you; you’ll leave at the end of your
-month, they all of them do.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That was an outrageous falsehood. Some of our servants have stopped
-with us more than a year. But it was impossible for me to contradict
-him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But Eliza&mdash;that’s the young lady I was a-telling you about&mdash;ain’t
-quite my fancy. And if so be as you haven’t got a young man just at
-present, or if you was a-feeling a bit off colour with the one you
-have got, why, I’d be proud and happy to fill the situation. I’m
-getting good money&mdash;five-and-twenty bob a week without perks”&mdash;I
-suppose he meant perquisites&mdash;“besides money in the bank, and a few
-sticks towards a home, including a drawing-room settee in sky-blue
-satin what I got from a friend of mine whose wife hooked off with
-another bloke. You just tell me your night out, and I’ll be there on
-time, you bet your hat&mdash;and a beauty it is, regular market-garden I
-call it&mdash;and if we don’t fix the day before we part, it won’t be no
-fault of mine. I mean business, I do, straight.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Anything like that person’s volubility I never encountered. I could
-not stop him. I seldom am ready of speech, and before that baker’s boy
-I felt tongue-tied. Not the least amazing part of it was that he
-seemed a mere lad of, at the outside, eighteen years, with a fresh
-complexion, and, I should have said, a babe for innocence. It shows
-how deceptive appearances are. At last I could get a word in edgeways,
-and I got it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I think you are mistaken.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-But he cut me short.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not much, I’m not. I’m not that sort of chap. Never make mistakes, I
-don’t&mdash;at least, not of that kind. I know when I like a girl as well
-as any man; and I tell you, honest, that I never was so gone on a
-young lady as I am on you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I still think you are mistaken, because I happen to be one of the
-five scratch-catting young women you alluded to. I am Miss Norah
-O’Brady.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Some baker’s boys would have been abashed, but he was not. He retained
-his presence of mind in a fashion I could not have equalled. And,
-really, for a person in his position, he was not bad-looking.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Lor’, now, if I didn’t think you was a real lady! You’d have been
-took for a real lady by almost anyone. You look it&mdash;every inch. A
-regular queen you look. You’ll excuse me, miss, for seeming to make so
-free; but, however humble a man may be, he’s still a man.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Please give me the bread.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He began cramming loaves and things in paper bags into my arms in a
-manner which I found embarrassing, talking all the time.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If there’s any mortal thing that I can do for you, no matter what it
-is, you’ve only got to name it, and you can consider it done. What’s
-more, I’m on to get you any blessed thing you want, from the Lord
-Mayor’s coach to&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I did not wait for him to explain to what&mdash;I presume his remarks were
-tailing off into metaphor&mdash;but, withdrawing into the passage, I shut
-the door in his face, taking the precaution to turn the key.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was well I did, because he instantly tried the handle, and, when he
-found it would not yield, rapping at the frosted glass panels, he
-addressed me from without:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Excuse me, miss, for one single moment, but would you allow me to
-say&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I should have thought that permission to say anything was the last
-thing he would have required. Anyhow, I did not give it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Depositing the articles he had just given me on the kitchen table, I
-marched upstairs. At the top I met mamma.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah, what do you mean by carrying on an animated conversation with
-the baker’s man?” I carrying on an animated conversation! My share in
-it had been small. “What an extraordinary creature you are. Your
-cheeks look as if they were positively burning.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Hers would have looked the same if she had borne my part in the scene
-which had just been enacted. But I said nothing.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You must go and do those errands at once, your sisters are waiting.
-Be as quick as you decently can, and please, if possible, forget
-nothing.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She gave me no time to compose myself, but opening the front door with
-her own hands ushered me through it, as if I were some bothering
-visitor whom she was in a dreadful hurry to see the last of.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As I might have expected, that baker’s boy was still there. He had
-hardly had time to take himself off with his barrow. But that was no
-reason why he should plant himself right in the centre of the
-pavement, and address me, the moment I appeared, as if I had been an
-equal, with mamma looking down at us from the open door.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Excuse me, miss, if I seem to take a liberty, but might I ask you if
-you was fond of chocolate creams?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I held my head a trifle higher than I might have done if mamma had not
-been up there, because I <i>am</i> fond of chocolate creams, though what
-business it was of his I cannot think&mdash;and I annihilated him finally:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If you attempt to speak to me again I shall report you to your
-master, and you will find yourself without a situation.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I marched off and left him standing in a preposterous and most
-unseemly attitude&mdash;his great basket at his side&mdash;as if glued to the
-paving-stones. And I heard him mutter:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Cruel as the grave&mdash;and cold.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That ridiculous, insolent boy&mdash;he was nothing else&mdash;positively heaved
-a sigh which followed me like a gust of wind, with mamma still at the
-top of the front-door steps.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch05">
-CHAPTER V.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE FURTHER EPISODES OF THE SHOP-WALKER AND THE ARTIST IN HAIR</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">As</span> I marched along&mdash;remembering mamma’s instructions to be as quick
-as I “decently” could, without, however, laying too much stress upon
-the “decently”&mdash;I became aware of something unusual&mdash;people were
-staring, especially male people.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Now I have been stared at in the street, but I do not remember that it
-was ever in what you could exactly call a flattering way.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There can be no doubt that my person is a striking one, after a
-fashion; but it is not precisely in the fashion. I am an extra large
-size all over. My legs are prodigious. I stride along in a style which
-some persons have said reminds them of the gentleman with the
-seven-league boots. Mr Morgan was once rude enough to tell me that it
-always seemed to him that it was the chief ambition of my life to
-cross Regent Street in a step and a-half. When I am walking with the
-others I suffer agonies, and I am thankful to think that they are not
-altogether comfortable. They take about three steps to the yard&mdash;the
-kind of shoes they wear won’t permit of anything else. And at such a
-pace! I cannot keep up with them; and it is some satisfaction to know
-they cannot keep up with me. We jangle and wrangle all the time, until
-at last I go off by myself; and then we are happy. At least, I know I
-am.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This peculiarity of mine&mdash;because, I suppose, it is a peculiarity&mdash;has
-more than once been commented on by perfect strangers. I once heard
-one street boy remark to another, just as I was passing:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What yer, Bill! ’ere comes the lady grenadier! Can’t she move
-’em!&mdash;and ain’t she got ’em to move!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Another time a dreadful creature asked of a companion:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I wonder if that young lady’s got stilts underneath her clothes? They
-can’t be all her own.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That was the sort of staring I had been used to. But this was
-different. Men of all sorts, of all ages, turned and looked at me.
-When their eyes reached my face, there was something in them which I
-did not altogether like. It gave me a curious sensation. I have seen
-men stare at the others with something like that look in their eyes. I
-wondered if they liked it. I was not by any means sure I did. Anyhow,
-I was not accustomed to that kind of thing. I wondered what they meant
-by it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was not any better when I reached the draper’s. The shop-walker
-opened the door for me&mdash;with such a smile. He was one of those pretty
-fellows, with moustache turned up at the ends, who really are most
-trying. His smile seemed to be a fixture. It kept growing larger and
-larger, and, I presume, sweeter. I hate your pretty fellows. I should
-like my man to be almost ugly; indeed, I should not mind if he was
-quite. I spoke to him in the most snubby fashion I could command,
-perceiving that this was another case in which snubbing might be
-required. There seemed to be something in the air that afternoon which
-made men behave in a most unusual manner.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I want to see some lady’s hose!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“For yourself?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There was something in the way he put the question for which I really
-could have hit him. What did it matter to him who they were for? He
-led me to a counter behind which there was the usual girl, and on
-which there was a box full of silk things&mdash;such colours! He began to
-spread them out in front of me, with a smile for which I would have
-liked to stick a pin into him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, here is something particularly smart. I am sure it would suit
-you&mdash;pure silk; guaranteed&mdash;were fifteen-and-six, are
-eight-and-eleven. Amazing value. But you shall have them for&mdash;” he
-hesitated&mdash;“for one-and-ninepence-halfpenny. Indeed, it would afford
-me the greatest pleasure to give them to you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When he said that, the girl behind the counter stared; and I stared,
-too. Was he mad? Was he seriously proposing to present me&mdash;free,
-gratis, for nothing&mdash;with his master’s silk stockings? The man must
-have been drinking. I froze him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you. The articles are not required by myself. And, if you don’t
-mind, I would rather that this young lady served me.” I turned to the
-young lady in question, who was wearing a peculiar look. “I want a
-pair of brown silk stockings, that shade”; and I handed her Lilian’s
-matching.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-While the girl was endeavouring to find what I wanted, that
-shop-walker continued to pester me. And not only so, but the
-shop-walker from the opposite counter came and joined his attentions
-to the other’s, pressing on me the most ridiculous things. When I
-severely snubbed them both, they began to smile at one another. We
-were the centre of observation, alike to customers and assistants.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was delighted to get out of the shop with Lilian’s stockings at
-last. I made no attempt to get Audrey’s ribbon. And I would have gone
-straight off home without Doris’s fringe-nets, had I dared; but I did
-not dare. Morrel’s was close at hand; practically on the way, and if I
-had returned without them, there would not only have been a tremendous
-disturbance, but they would probably have sent me back again.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The worst of it was that I disliked Morrel’s. I loathe hairdressers.
-They always seem to regard women as so many dummies, or, at least,
-lay-figures, of whom they can make anything they please. I am
-convinced that they despise us. What else can you expect? Thousands
-and thousands of us owe all our charms to them. They give countless
-women their complexions, their eyebrows&mdash;indeed, to all intents and
-purposes, their entire faces. Hundreds of thousands owe all their hair
-to them. Their little flirty curls, on pins, for all sorts of
-occasions&mdash;Lilian has rows of them, stuck on sheets of cork, like
-butterflies&mdash;their fringes, coils, switches, transformations, their
-entire wigs, not to speak of the foundations on which they build. Then
-think of the dyes, restorers, so-called washes, curling fluids, and
-all that kind of thing. Oh, dear! The girls spend heaps of money at
-Morrel’s. I believe that mamma would just as soon die as do without
-such places.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Why I particularly objected to Morrel’s was because there they were
-always at me to do as the others did; and I know that, in their
-politely insolent way, they jeered at me because I refused. Mr Morrel
-himself was a horror&mdash;a little, stoutish man, with his scanty,
-light-brown hair curled in rows. He reeked of perfume. I would far
-sooner have sat in a third-class smoking-carriage, full of
-horny-handed sons of toil, all “blowing” shag&mdash;I believe that that’s
-the proper word&mdash;than have occupied a chair next to him. And he, in
-his heart, I knew, despised me; first, for belonging to such a
-barber’s block family, and then for refusing to allow him to practise
-any of his arts to supply the charms which I was quite aware that I so
-plentifully lacked.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When I entered the shop, I found that he was alone in it. I was
-disgusted. He stood simpering behind his glass cases, twiddling a
-frightfully blonde curl, to which he was giving some finishing touches
-on its pin. As a rule, there was a young woman in the shop&mdash;with such
-a head of hair. It was never done twice in the same style; daily
-visits in search of packets of hairpins would have been as good as a
-course of hairdressing lessons&mdash;not to speak of his wife, who always
-seemed somewhere about. His special business was to look after the
-hairdressing rooms.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As he saw it was I, I believe he was going to ring for his assistant.
-It was beneath his dignity to personally attend on me. But, as he
-continued to look at me, on a sudden, he changed his mind. I was
-persuaded that, as it were, a wave of emotion crept over him; all at
-once he altered so completely. His simper assumed the dimensions of a
-beam. Putting his fingers to his oily hair, he regarded me in a manner
-which, whatever he might think to the contrary, far from became him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And what may I do for you, Miss O’Brady?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I want half-a-dozen fringe-nets for my sister Doris. She says that
-you know the shade.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And what do you want for yourself, Miss Norah?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Nothing, thank you. Will you please give them me as quickly as you
-can. I’m in a hurry.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He put his head on one side like an owl. It was idiotic.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Ah, Miss Norah, I am afraid that you despise my art. You are yourself
-so beautiful that you do not stand in need of it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Are you aware what you are saying? Kindly give me those fringe-nets.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yet I also am an artist. As many perfect pictures are the work of my
-fingers as you will find upon the walls of an Academy.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I never said they weren’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But, Miss Norah, you have towards me an air of aloofness. Yet I am
-more essential to a woman than her milliner&mdash;than her costumier. What
-is the most perfect toilette with an indifferent coiffure. Even beauty
-cannot safely scorn me. If you will do me the inestimable honour of
-entrusting your lovely head to me for a few brief minutes I do not
-think you will regret it when you perceive the result. It is true that
-nature has given you hair which is perfect in texture, exquisite in
-colour&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mr Morrel, do you know what you are saying?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mamma had told me over and over again that Morrel had assured her that
-nothing could be done with my hair if I refused to have it
-“tinted”&mdash;which I always had refused, and always should refuse to
-permit. He had as good as hinted that, from his point of view, its
-colour was an atrocity, an outrage! Now he had the assurance to tell
-me, to my face, that he thought it exquisite. And he was not to be put
-down either.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I, of all men in England, should know what I am saying on a subject
-on which I, among all my compeers, am best qualified to speak. As an
-artist there is no one living who is worthy to hold a comb with me. It
-were false modesty to pretend the contrary. As a lad I was a lightning
-shaver; I could remove a stubborn beard with an ease which was a
-rapture to its wearer. I was scarcely out of my apprenticeship when,
-on two occasions, I won first prizes in the National Competition in
-Artistic Hairdressing. I should have undoubtedly won a third, if for
-originality alone&mdash;the originality of my ideas has always been
-admitted&mdash;had not a cabal&mdash;all leaders of art become, sooner or later,
-the victims of a cabal&mdash;had not a cabal, I say, actuated by motives on
-which I will not enlarge, bestowed my prize upon a mere pretender. The
-desert they could not alienate. It was notorious.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“This is very interesting, Mr Morrel; but would you mind giving me my
-sister’s fringe-nets?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“One moment, Miss Norah, if you please. You continue to regard me with
-a scorn which blights. An artist’s is a sensitive soul. I implore you
-not to flash the arrows of your disdain in the tender target of my
-heart!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I shall tell mamma, Mr Morrel, if you talk to me like that. Will you
-give me my sister’s fringe-nets?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I will; certainly I will. After all, I am a man of business. Let me
-not forget it, even at such a moment as this. But, at the same time,
-let me prove to you that I am not only commercial. Let me entreat your
-personal acceptance of some trifle in evidence. For instance, this
-handglass, in its way a gem. Held at the proper angle it will give you
-a view of your back hair, the clarity of which will surprise you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you, Mr Morrel; but I don’t want a handglass.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then this manicure set, mounted in gold. Its constant use might
-embellish even your hands&mdash;if it be possible to paint the lily.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It made me so cross to hear him, when, all the while, he probably knew
-that it is only with anguish that I can cram my hands into
-six-and-threequarters.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I want nothing except my sister’s fringe-nets. Will you, or will you
-not, give them to me?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Your coldness scorches me, if I may use a seeming paradox. In the
-most literal sense I will give them to you. Permit me to present you
-with six fringe-nets, for the use of Miss Doris O’Brady.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My sister tells me that you charge her a shilling each for them. Here
-is half-a-sovereign. Please give me the change.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I will not give you the change, nor will I take your half-sovereign.
-Do you wish to grind me beneath your heel&mdash;to insult me?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Insult you!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The fringe-nets are a present to you for your sister, since you will
-accept nothing for yourself&mdash;unless, at the eleventh hour, you will
-permit me to add the manicure set and the handglass.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I think, Mr Morrel, that you must be suffering from something this
-afternoon. Do you suppose, for one single instant, that either my
-sister or I wishes you to give us our fringe-nets? I insist upon
-paying for them.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You cannot. It is impossible. I decline to allow you to pay for
-them.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What’s that you decline to allow?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mrs Morrel’s appearance in the shop I hailed with a sensation of real
-relief.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mrs Morrel, I want six fringe-nets, and, for some reason or other, Mr
-Morrel won’t let me pay for one. They’re six shillings, and I want him
-to take for them out of this half-sovereign, and he won’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Give me the half-sovereign. I’ll soon make that right.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Her husband interposed, or tried to:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear, I must ask you not to intrude between this young lady and
-myself.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She cut him relentlessly short.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Here is your change, Miss O’Brady; and here are the fringe-nets.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you. Good-afternoon.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He tried again.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear, I am master in my own shop, and you must permit me to
-state&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I did not wait to hear what it was that he wished to state. I had
-heard more than enough of his statements already. Insincere,
-smooth-tongued, artificial creature! I had had no idea that he was so
-horrid, though I had known that he was horrid enough. I left the shop
-with the fringe-nets in one hand and the change in the other; and I
-make no doubt that directly my back was turned an animated discussion
-commenced as to who was and who was not master there, and how far that
-mastery went. Had I been Mrs Morrel I would have made it clear to her
-objectionable husband, when it came to presenting the stock to casual
-female customers, that his mastery ceased before it reached that
-point.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch06">
-CHAPTER VI.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">MISS NORAH FEELS ODD</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">It</span> was more than humiliating to be the cause of dissension between a
-hairdresser and his wife, not to speak of that shop-walker’s eccentric
-behaviour. And I did feel so strange, so topsy-turveyish. As if
-something had got into my veins and set them all of a glow. Ordinarily
-I am convinced that I should have slaughtered Mr Morrel, and the
-shop-walker, and the baker’s boy. But, somehow, that afternoon,
-although I knew that I ought to be shocked, and amazed, and furious, I
-could not be either of the three to anything like the extent which I
-was well aware I ought to have been. For some extraordinary reason I
-seemed almost to feel that it was quite natural that male creatures in
-their position of life should behave to me in what, to say the least,
-was a peculiar way. It was a dreadful thought, but I appeared to be
-possessed by a sort of consciousness that every man I met was drawn
-towards me by a sort of magnetic influence which both he and I well
-knew was irresistible. It was an extremely novel sensation, and not a
-very agreeable one either.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When I reached home I saw mamma watching for me through the
-drawing-room window. It was she who opened the door.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“So you have returned at last. And this time I hope you have brought
-everything!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Except Audrey’s ribbon. She will have to manage with what she has.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And why have you not brought that?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Because I did not propose to be insulted any further.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Insulted! Norah! What do you mean?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s of no consequence. Audrey will be able to manage very well
-without it. I know her. She has probably dozens of yards of ribbon
-already of just the kind she wants; only she thinks it’s too much
-trouble to look for it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mamma eyed me doubtfully, as if she could not make me out. I should
-have been surprised if she could. I was not only beyond her
-comprehension, I was beyond my own. After a momentary pause she went
-on:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Lilian has received a telegram from Mr Rumford, to say that he is
-calling this afternoon to ask her to come out with him this evening.
-Possibly he intends to say something decisive. Jane has returned, but
-Lilian is preparing, and you know that she doesn’t like to be hurried,
-and I have to change my dress, and as he may come at any moment if we
-are not ready you will have to receive him.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mamma! Why can’t one of the others do that? You know I’m not very
-fond of Mr Rumford, and I’m sure he doesn’t like me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t talk nonsense! It’s not a question of like or dislike, you will
-do as I wish, he doesn’t come to see you. Audrey and Doris rather
-expect that Mr Carter and Mr Purchase may drop in to tea, so they are
-changing. Eveleen has a slight headache, and is lying down; she thinks
-it possible that sometime during the afternoon Mr Hammond may call,
-and she wants to be well enough to receive him. So until some of us
-are ready you will have to act as hostess.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“In this attire?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You will have no time to change; somebody may come at any second; and
-I tell you again that they’re not coming to see you. You know very
-well that no one ever looks at you, whatever you have on. But run
-upstairs and get your hat off, and some of that unbecoming colour off
-your face, and do try to look decent.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I obeyed her.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As I went upstairs I was conscious of some most singular sensations,
-nearly approaching to forebodings. It was absurd, yet at the bottom of
-my heart I suspected that if they only could have guessed, none of
-them would have asked me to receive those men. If disaster followed,
-their feelings would be beyond description, while the fault would
-certainly not be mine.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was just entering my room when mamma called out to me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“By the way, Norah, if Major Tibbet should come before I am ready keep
-him as much amused as possible. You know how impatient he is, and how
-easily bored; but I won’t be an instant longer than I can help.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-So Major Tibbet was coming also! There was evidently going to be a
-crowd of them as usual; though, as mamma had been careful to observe,
-none of them ever came to see me. But, on this occasion, it was
-remotely possible that a change might come o’er the spirit of the
-scene. Something within me seemed to hint at it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As for Major Paul Tibbet, he was one of my pet abominations. An
-unsoldierly old man, painted, padded, and wigged. I should think that
-when he had got all off that he had put on there was nothing left of
-him but a mere husk. And so conceited! He talked of nothing else but
-women, and his conquests of them. It was nauseous. What mamma could
-see in him was beyond my comprehension. Yet it had dawned on me more
-and more, and the others had dropped hints, that if he asked her she
-might become Mrs Tibbet, and present us with a new papa. What a
-prospect! That made-up relic, whom I could have picked up and swung
-over my head with one hand, my papa! I remembered my father as a tall,
-handsome man, brave to the point of recklessness, who had broken his
-neck while hunting. That anyone could dream of substituting that
-effigy for him! I gathered that he had a deal of money. I fear that
-mamma is not so indifferent to that consideration as she might be.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Once inside my room I gave way to a most odd mixture of despondency
-and exultation. What had happened to me? What did this odd something
-inside me which seemed as if it would like to start me dancing, mean?
-Where did it come from? How? And why? What was the explanation of the
-singular behaviour of those men; of all those men? I could have cried,
-if I had not felt so disposed to laugh. It was most confusing.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-On the dressing-table was the scrap of paper on which those mysterious
-words had been so mysteriously written. I had left it there when I
-went out. Could they have had anything to do with the eccentricities
-of those ridiculous men? My common-sense&mdash;I have common-sense, and
-plenty of it; it is my strongest point&mdash;told me that the mere notion
-was nonsense. In some way or other I had been the victim of my own
-imagination, though until then I was not aware that I had any to be
-the victim of. I am not an imaginative being. I declare I am not.
-Quite the other way. Still it stood to reason that I could not have
-seen those words coming on the paper in the way I had supposed. They
-must have been there before. And I had been a silly. I caught up the
-half-sheet, meaning to tear it into pieces for having made me make
-such a goose of myself.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-But I could not. Something seemed to take me by the wrists and prevent
-me. I let the paper drop from between my fingers in a flutter of
-amazement. I looked at the glass in front of me. Could this be myself
-that I was looking at? Then I certainly was not so ill-looking as I
-had supposed. I might be big, but I was striking. My cheeks were aglow
-with health. My lips parted in a radiant smile, for which I could have
-kissed myself. The whitest of white teeth shone through them. My eyes
-laughed back at me in a fashion which set all my pulses beating.
-Ill-looking, with eyes like those? What rubbish people would talk!
-They were alive with all sorts of things, two of the daintiest, most
-mischievous, frankest, tenderest, dancing lures which were ever set in
-a woman’s head. Why, the freckles on my nose positively set them off.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Really, as I observed the reflection in that mirror I was not at all
-surprised at the conduct of those men. There was some excuse for them,
-after all. No woman might see it, but I was sure that other men would
-quickly. One woman is slow to see what it is in another woman which
-attracts a man. But I knew then. No man, and no boy either who was
-even in the neighbourhood of manhood, could meet those eyes
-without&mdash;well, without feeling some sort of a sensation. I was
-perfectly sure that he could not.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I put my hands up to my face, and laughed!&mdash;and actually blushed! It
-was so very odd. And so amusing! I felt&mdash;it is difficult to describe
-exactly&mdash;but I was twittering from head to foot, as with a
-consciousness of suddenly acquired powers which made me&mdash;I do not know
-precisely what word to use, but I will write it irresponsible. I was
-more than half-ashamed. I doubted if it was a proper feeling for a
-girl to have. At twenty-three one ought to be discreet.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Suddenly the door opened and Doris put her head in. She was in her
-petticoat, and her hair all down.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah! Whatever are you figuring about before the glass for like
-that? Mr Purchase and Mr Carter are coming down the street; go to the
-drawing-room at once. Audrey and I will race down as fast as ever we
-can, but you must go this moment.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She just said that, and was off again. It was as well she was, the
-idea of her catching me like that made me go a peony-red all over. I
-am not in the habit of “figuring about” before a looking-glass, and
-nobody can say I am.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-So Mr Purchase and Mr Carter were coming down the street? I felt,
-well, I am afraid that I felt delighted. If Doris had only known I
-doubt if she would have been so anxious that I should hurry down. They
-were two of the very nicest boys we know, and had behaved quite
-decently even to me. They were sometimes apt to treat me in a free and
-easy, brotherly sort of fashion which I rather liked. So far as I
-could see there was no nonsense about them whatever. They were
-inseparable chums, kind of David and Jonathan, and always hunted in
-couples.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Jack Purchase was supposed to be a barrister, but so far as I could
-see the only thing he really did was to make ardent love to Doris. He
-was tolerably well off, but Doris was a desperate flirt and led him a
-tremendous dance. I believe that in her heart she more than liked him,
-but it seemed as if she was incapable of owning as much to any man. So
-many men had been over head and ears in love with her that I suppose
-she had come to think that it would be undignified to admit any
-feeling of the kind for one of them. Mamma was very anxious to get her
-off, and would have liked nothing better than to have had Mr Purchase
-as a son-in-law. But Doris did not care a snap of the fingers for what
-mamma said, and her partisanship rather damaged him in her eyes, if
-anything. She was a contrary little wretch.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Basil Carter was nothing at all, except a young gentleman of means. He
-was very keen to be a statesman, or a Member of Parliament, or
-whatever it is. He had tried to get in twice and had failed each time,
-but declared that the third time he meant to succeed. I hoped he
-would; though, for my part, I cannot see why anyone should wish to be
-a ridiculous M.P. I have met lots of them. They are most of them
-sillies, though some of them think themselves tin gods. I don’t know
-why. They only talk, and most of them cannot do that with decency.
-Nearly all the few things they do do they do all wrong, and had much
-better have left undone.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He has a most lovely yacht. He once took us all a cruise in it. I
-enjoyed it immensely, but the others did not. I do not understand how
-it is that some people are ill at sea; it seems so unnatural. Mamma
-always takes a private cabin, and is down in it before the boat
-starts, even when she is only crossing to Calais.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He is passionately in love with Audrey. I know it as a fact, because
-once he as good as told me so. But Audrey is a most difficult girl.
-She is imaginative if you like. I believe that she spends her time
-imagining herself the wife of a clever man, though what is her idea of
-cleverness is more than I can say. Several men, who are allowed to be
-not only clever in their own estimation, have asked her to marry, but
-she has invariably said no. Physically, she is disgracefully lazy, and
-loves to languish, but, mentally, she is sharp as a razor. No matter
-how clever the man may be who gets her, he will find that she is, at
-least, his match, and that he could not have had anyone more certain
-to help him in making his mark in the world. And she is so lovely, and
-in the very depths of her, deliciously sweet.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-All the same, although they knew quite well what those two boys felt
-for them, and their own charms had been proved to be nearly
-irresistible over and over again, if they could only have guessed what
-had happened to me, neither Audrey nor Doris would have been quite
-easy in their minds as I descended the stairs with my most stately
-air&mdash;which was not saying much, for all the while I was longing to
-dance right down them&mdash;to welcome the approaching callers.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Directly I was in the drawing-room something tickled me again, so that
-I burst out laughing, and had to put up my hand to hide my blushes.
-What could it be that was about to happen? And at that moment there
-came a rat-tat-tat at the hall-door, and, presently, Jane was ushering
-in the visitors.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch07">
-CHAPTER VII.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">MISS NORAH RECEIVES TWO GENTLEMEN</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">Mr Purchase</span> came first, with Mr Carter close on his heels. I stood
-about the centre of the room, as prim as you please, just wondering.
-Each of them had some flowers in his hand, Mr Purchase red roses, and
-Mr Carter pink. Somehow those young men scarcely ever came to the
-house without bringing roses. No matter what the season, you might be
-almost positive that they would have, at any rate, half-a-dozen
-rosebuds. In their time Doris and Audrey must have had enough flowers
-to make a good-sized haystack. No one ever brings me any.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They came into the room with a sort of look of expectation on their
-faces. When they perceived me they gave a look round, and when they
-saw I was alone their expression changed entirely. It was comical. A
-friendly, free and easy smile took its place.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Hullo, Norah!” exclaimed Mr Purchase. “Nobody here?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was not a very civil way of greeting one; but I knew that it was
-not intended to bear quite the construction which might be put on it.
-Both boys had a way of addressing me as Norah, especially when I was
-alone with them, though they always dignify the others with the prefix
-“Miss.” I observed that most men, when they condescended to notice me
-at all, were more than a trifle unceremonious in their fashion of
-speech. Often I did not altogether like it. It was not pleasant to
-hear a man speak to your sister as if she were a duchess, and then to
-you as if you were a mixture of a cousin and a housemaid. But somehow
-from these two I did not mind it so much as from others. It was,
-perhaps, because they always meant to be friendly, and were never
-actually rude.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-However, I suppose that just then I was feeling a little superior, so
-I put my nose up in the air, and was nasty.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am sorry that there is no one here&mdash;at least, no one of the
-slightest consequence.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I fancy that both my words and my manner took them both aback. I
-believe that Mr Purchase nearly started.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I say, it isn’t fair to trip up a chap like that. I’m sure&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Of what he was sure I shall probably never know, because when he had
-got as far as that, for the first time he really looked at me. When he
-did he did not exactly start. But his expression changed quite as
-suddenly as it had done before, and in a more surprising manner. I
-never saw such a look upon a person’s face. And not the least curious
-part of it was that I was conscious that a precisely similar change
-had taken place in Mr Carter’s countenance.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They are neither of them bad-looking, only Mr Carter is brown, and Mr
-Purchase black; and I am inclined to think that a dark, intellectual
-face mirrors its owner’s emotions in an almost uncanny degree,
-although, when I began to grasp the details of Mr Carter’s
-physiognomy, I was not sure that your brown-haired people are very far
-behind. The amazement and delight which had all at once come into Mr
-Carter’s blue eyes was positively bewildering. He was a little behind
-his friend, and I suspect him of having had no desire to come to the
-front while I was the only person there, yet, all in an instant he had
-passed him, and planted himself in front of me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah, here are some flowers.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He held out the pink roses with an air which set me all of a flutter.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I see there are. You always bring such pretty roses. Audrey is very
-lucky.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“They are for you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“For me?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Before he could answer, Mr Purchase was at his side, with his flowers
-extended.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“May I hope, Miss Norah, that you will do me the honour to accept
-mine. They are not so pretty, perhaps, as others, and are far from
-being worthy your acceptance, yet I hope that, of your kindness, you
-will not refuse.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I had never had such a speech addressed to me in all my life by
-anyone; and now that it should come from Jack Purchase, of all people
-in the world. Small wonder that for the moment the only thing I was
-fit for was to gasp. I looked from one to the other like a sort of
-gaping idiot, and I certainly had abundant excuse for looking nothing
-better. There, within six inches of me on one side was Basil Carter,
-holding out the pink roses which, I was convinced, he had brought for
-Audrey; and within five-and-a-half inches of me on the other side was
-Mr Purchase, protruding, in a most suggestive style, the red roses I
-was perfectly sure he had brought for Doris.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It isn’t fair of you to laugh at me,” I managed to get out at last.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Laugh!” cried Mr Carter, with an air of the most innocent surprise.
-“How laugh? I hope you do not think that I am laughing at you? I
-should not dare.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Should not dare! That was awfully good, considering how he had laughed
-at me times without number, as he knew as well as I did.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t know what you call it then, pretending to offer me those
-flowers.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Pretending! Miss Norah, I beg you will not call it pretence, when it
-is my earnest hope that you will receive them from my hands.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You know perfectly well that you brought them for Audrey.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Before he could speak Mr Purchase spoke for him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear Basil, Miss Norah is quite correct; you yourself confided to
-me that they were designed for Miss Audrey. If, however, Miss Norah,
-you will deign to accept these red roses they will have reached their
-proper destination.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It isn’t fair of you, Mr Purchase; as if I didn’t know that they were
-meant for Doris.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This time it was Mr Carter who interposed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That certainly is the case, my dear Jack. You are yourself aware that
-at your request I this morning ordered some red roses for Miss Doris
-O’Brady, and that these are they.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“A man is at liberty to change his mind.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Under certain circumstances.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“A fact of which I avail myself to beg your acceptance of these roses,
-Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I would entreat Miss Norah to extend her condescension to these poor
-buds of mine.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear Basil, you are merely imitative.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The imitation comes from you. It was I who first besought Miss Norah
-to take pity on my poor roses.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really, Basil, you must excuse me, but you force me to point out once
-more&mdash;as Miss Norah has done already&mdash;that you brought those flowers
-for Miss Audrey. It’s no use pretending that you didn’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I pretend nothing; let me advise you also to avoid pretence. Is there
-any valid reason why we should not join in requesting Miss Norah’s
-acceptance of both our little nosegays?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not a bad idea, if Miss Norah will only so far honour us.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not if I know it; I haven’t quite lost my senses, even if you have.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They seemed startled, even hurt. Mr Purchase, in particular, shivered
-almost as if I had struck him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do you think that I wish to get into trouble by accepting other
-people’s property?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You scarcely state the case correctly, Miss Norah, if you will
-forgive my saying so. Up to the present moment the nosegays are our
-property&mdash;ours.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then, so far as I am concerned, they will continue to remain your
-property&mdash;and, in any case, I should decline to accept what was
-originally intended for another.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then all that remains for me is to throw my poor flowers out of the
-window.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The fireplace is good enough for mine.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Off strode Mr Purchase towards the window and Mr Carter towards the
-fireplace. I stopped them.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“How can you be so ridiculous?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It is to avoid being made ridiculous that I propose to deposit them
-in the gutter. If you will not deign to overlook their too obvious
-unworthiness, then let them suffer the extremity of shame, and be the
-sharers of my humiliation.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I want nothing which you despise, so here go my rosebuds into the
-grate.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Off they strode again; again I stopped them.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Rather than that you should behave in that foolish and wicked
-way&mdash;treating those lovely flowers so cruelly&mdash;I will take both your
-nosegays. Though, mind you, if you don’t understand, I do&mdash;my doing so
-is the height of absurdity.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Before I had finished speaking both of them came rushing at me, and
-there was I standing with Doris’ red roses in my right hand and
-Audrey’s pink in my left. I scarcely knew whether to laugh or cry, the
-situation was so surprising. What those two girls would say when they
-appeared upon the scene&mdash;as I momentarily expected that they would
-do&mdash;I did not even dare to think. And those two boys allowed me no
-chance to collect my thoughts, and try to see my way out of the muddle
-into which they were getting me. They kept on chattering, one against
-the other, and making the muddle worse with every word they uttered.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Purchase began, speaking with an absurdly cock-a-doodle air, as if
-I had done him the greatest possible favour by consenting to hold
-Doris’ flowers for a moment or so, for that was really as far as I
-intended my acquiescence to go.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, Miss Norah, that you have made me supremely happy by accepting
-my now rich roses&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And mine,” interposed Mr Carter.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And yours&mdash;really, we are not likely to forget it, my dear Basil.
-Would you allow me to speak a few words without interruption? I should
-thank you so much if you would. This morning, Miss Norah, I took a box
-for this evening’s performance at the Gaiety Theatre&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Again there came an interruption from Mr Carter.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“When you say that you took a box I presume you mean that you went
-through the mechanical operation of having it booked in your name. I
-paid for half of it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear Basil, once more you are interrupting me. You appear to be
-incapable of allowing me to conclude a sentence. If you only would,
-you would find that I should explain everything to your most perfect
-satisfaction. Miss Norah, as Basil puts it, we took a box, and I shall
-be only too delighted if you will share my half of it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I hope, Miss Norah, that you will share mine.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Basil, you are really trying. I invite Miss Norah, and before she has
-an opportunity of saying Yes or No, you cap my invitation with one of
-your own.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I presume, my dear fellow, that I am at liberty to invite whom I
-please. It was only owing to the accident of your having the glibbest
-tongue that my invitation did not come first.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Come, Basil, you are behaving like a schoolboy. I tell you what we’ll
-do&mdash;I’ll purchase your share of the box.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I decline to sell.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then I will get another for myself&mdash;I imagine that another is to be
-had&mdash;and that I trust, Miss Norah, you will do me the honour of
-sharing with me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I hope, Miss Norah, that you will not be so cruel. I beg that you
-will honour mine.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They were beginning to look at each other in a way which made me
-almost apprehensive. The trouble was, that I rather wanted to go to
-the Gaiety. I hardly ever get a chance of going to a theatre; the
-others are always going. A piece was there just then to which all the
-world was crowding, and, for once in a way, I was more than willing to
-go with the crowd. That made the invitation rather tempting. But,
-under the circumstances, I was hardly goose enough to own it. Instead
-I endeavoured to induce them to conduct themselves like reasonable
-beings, which, until then, I had always supposed they were.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Why are you two behaving this afternoon in such an excessively
-ridiculous manner? First you ask me to make two shares of myself in
-one box, and then to divide myself between two boxes. I don’t quite
-see how you can reasonably expect me to do either. I am not a
-divisible quantity.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They both began at me again.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You entirely misunderstand me, Miss Norah. So far from wishing you to
-divide yourself, I am piteously anxious that you should only honour my
-box.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Since Jack talks of taking another box, so far from dividing
-yourself&mdash;which the powers forbid!&mdash;all you have to do is to share
-with me the whole of mine.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I held up the two nosegays&mdash;to calm them, if I could.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“One moment&mdash;if you’ll be so very kind. I should like you two to offer
-some at least plausible explanation of the extraordinary fashion in
-which you are treating me this afternoon. And, in the first place, I
-would call your attention to two or three simple questions. Have you
-ever hinted at giving me even the shadow of a shade of a flower? You
-know very well that no such idea has ever entered your heads. Why,
-then, do you all at once insist on thrusting on me the roses which you
-brought for Audrey and Doris, for whom you have been in the habit of
-bringing bushels of flowers? Have either of you ever even dimly
-suggested taking me to a theatre? You are aware that no such notion
-has ever entered your wildest dreams. Why, then, are you almost
-quarrelling in your apparent endeavours to compel me to occupy a box
-which you know as well as I do was intended for my two sisters? I
-happen to be cognisant of the fact that you as good as promised to
-take them to the Gaiety, and I have little doubt that you have caused
-them to anticipate the fulfilment of your promise this very evening.
-Can you for one moment suppose that I shall consent to take the places
-which they are expecting to fill? I should be sorry to be forced to
-think that you are not the sort of persons I had taken you to be. I
-have not a lofty opinion of the generality of men, for reasons; but I
-had believed you to be a little above the average.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Instead of showing the least sign of being ashamed of themselves, they
-commenced to accuse each other in the most brazen manner. Mr Carter
-commenced.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What you say, Miss Norah, is correct&mdash;as it always is. You know,
-Jack, that only this morning you told me that you were going to ask
-Miss Doris to share your half of the box; it was for that especial
-purpose you took it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Did you not give me an assurance that you proposed to ask Miss Audrey
-to go with you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear Jack, you informed me as far back as yesterday that you had
-as good as invited Miss Doris to accompany you, and that she had
-practically consented.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My memory is not at fault, my good fellow. I perfectly well remember
-that three days ago you remarked to me that you had mentioned the
-Gaiety Theatre to Miss Audrey; that she had expressed a wish to go
-there, and that, to all intents and purposes, you had undertaken to
-take her. After that you will yourself admit that, in common decency,
-there is nothing more to be said.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Come, Jack, I don’t want to chop phrases with you. You know I hate
-that kind of thing.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not more than I do.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then, if that’s the case, I’ll make a proposition, the perfect
-fairness of which must commend it to you. Let me have five minutes’
-private and uninterrupted conversation with Miss Norah&mdash;I am
-convinced, Miss Norah, that in less time than that I shall succeed in
-making clear to you a good deal that at present seems dark!&mdash;and after
-that you can have ten minutes’ talk all to yourself.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I accept your proposition&mdash;with one proviso; that you let me have the
-first five minutes; then, afterwards, you can have twenty.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What kind of a way to treat a friend do you call this, Jack? You
-persist in taking the words out of my mouth, and adopting them as your
-own.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Basil, I must beg of you that you will not talk nonsense.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Nonsense! Really, Jack, that’s good, as coming from you! I talk
-nonsense! I don’t wish to enter into argument&mdash;least of all with you;
-but this is too much.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Listen to me!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Considering that Mr Carter’s face was so very close to Mr Purchase’s,
-and that he was not speaking in the gentlest tone of voice, one could
-hardly see how he could help but listen. Their demeanour was marked by
-so much&mdash;I will call it, eagerness&mdash;that I was seriously beginning to
-inquire of myself if the temperature of the room was not getting a
-trifle warm. What was the exciting cause I was at a loss to determine;
-yet it did seem incredible that such lifelong friends should wrangle
-about nothing. If the cause of the heat was me&mdash;which seemed more
-incredible still&mdash;I could only declare that I was conscious of no sane
-reason why it should be.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was almost on the point of inquiring if either of them suffered from
-intermittent attacks of softening of the brain, when the door opened,
-and in came Audrey and Doris. I sincerely hoped that they had been
-long enough in dressing. They might find that they had been just a
-trifle too long.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch08">
-CHAPTER VIII.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">MEN ARE DECEIVERS EVER</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">I could</span> not but feel how nice they looked. Not for the first time,
-by any means, it was a comfort to think that they were my sisters. It
-is all very well to inveigh against the tremendous time a woman takes
-in dressing&mdash;and I am quite willing to admit that, over and over
-again, the girls have as nearly as possible driven me mad!&mdash;but if she
-wants to look her best, she has to. It is just those little delicate
-touches which require care and thought, and cannot be hurried over,
-which complete the picture. After one is completely dressed, one can
-often advantageously spend another quarter-of-an-hour or twenty
-minutes in artistic tittivation; and sometimes the result is worth it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When I began to take in the details of Audrey and Doris, I realised
-that it had been worth it in their case. They were just exquisite; a
-delight to the eye, a refreshment to the senses; perfect pictures, of
-a kind I never could be. I was laughingly conscious of the absurdity
-of my posing as a rival to them. My impulse was to hurry to them,
-presenting the two nosegays, explaining that I had been merely acting
-as custodian until they came. I fully expected that there would be an
-instant end to those two men’s preposterous behaviour, so far as I was
-concerned, taking it for granted that they would promptly rush back to
-their allegiance, leaving me with the recollection of the lop-sided
-joke we three had had together.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-However, to my amazement, and almost to my horror, nothing of the kind
-took place. Instead, Mr Purchase and Mr Carter continued their
-nonsensical, half-quarrelsome argument, totally ignoring Audrey and
-Doris, who remained a few paces inside the door, a growing suggestion
-of astonishment upon their faces. Presently Audrey spoke.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I hope that we have not kept you waiting. How are you, Mr Carter?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Carter turned, nodded, and addressed her from where he stood. Cold
-shivers went up and down my back. He had never treated me quite so
-free-and-easily as that.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Oh, thank you, Miss Audrey. I’m going strong, thank you. I hope you
-are, too.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Without another word, he resumed his squabble with his friend.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The two girls looked at each other. Then Doris spoke.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Good afternoon, Mr Purchase. I hope that you have been pleasantly
-engaged, and have not missed me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Purchase’s answer must have been distinctly unexpected. He just
-nodded, as Basil Carter had done, and observed, in the most offhanded
-manner:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not at all, Miss Doris&mdash;not in the very least. We couldn’t have been
-better employed, thank you very much.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He returned to Mr Carter, placing the forefinger of his right hand on
-the palm of his left.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The point is this, I have now ceded to you my share of the box,
-leaving you perfect freedom to carry out your original plan, as of
-course you will do.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Nothing of the kind. That’s not the point, here is the point in a
-nutshell.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-At it they went, in the old delightful way. The two girls had seated
-themselves on a settee which was between the windows. They looked
-sweet, but a remark which Doris made to me suggested that that was not
-exactly how they were feeling.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What are you doing with those flowers, Norah? You look silly with a
-bunch in each hand. Somehow flowers and you never do go well together,
-they look incongruous.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The assault was so gratuitous that it ruffled my plumes. I was just on
-the point of handing them the flowers, with a word of explanation to
-smooth things out; because those two boys had been abominably rude,
-and they were not accustomed to rudeness from men. All experiences of
-that kind had come my way. The fact of the sensation being an entirely
-novel one scarcely made it more agreeable, especially since they had
-every reason to suppose that the pair were head over ears in love with
-them. My inclination was towards sympathy&mdash;true sisterly
-sympathy&mdash;because I had been treated badly myself, and I knew what it
-felt like. But when Doris spoke to me like that, sympathetic feelings
-retreated into the background. I sank down on the ottoman; put first
-one nosegay to my nose, and then the other; and smiled a little.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mr Carter and Mr Purchase have brought me these lovely roses. So
-sweet of them, really!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was conscious that the girls cast a curious, and even startled
-glance in my direction. Doris’ voice was a little sharp.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do you mean to say that those roses were given you by Mr Purchase?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And Mr Carter. They would insist upon my not refusing. Wasn’t it nice
-of them?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As I glanced towards Doris, with my very sweetest smile, she looked
-what I call scratchy. Audrey addressed Basil Carter.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“So, Mr Carter, you have been giving Norah roses?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yes, yes; poor ones, unworthy the recipient. Had I known the honour
-which was in store for them I would have procured better.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That is very kind of you. They look very like the roses you have
-sometimes given me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“They are the same&mdash;yes&mdash;exactly.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The implication his words suggested,&mdash;that while the roses were not
-good enough for me they were for Audrey,&mdash;possibly escaped his
-attention. I doubt if it did hers. She looked up at him with notes of
-interrogation in her eyes, as if she were asking what he meant. He
-added, as if by an afterthought:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“By the way, Miss Audrey, there’s a matter on which I should like to
-ask your advice. I have a box for the Gaiety to-night.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You told me that you meant to get one.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Her words seemed to take him slightly aback.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yes; I have some recollection of the kind. I believe I did.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Did you have much difficulty?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No, no; none to speak of.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris questioned Mr Purchase.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And haven’t you a share in Mr Carter’s box, or has he it all to
-himself?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“He has it all to himself. I had half, but I have relinquished it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris raised her eyebrows.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You have relinquished it?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You see, he proposes to ask Miss Audrey to join him, and you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And me? Mr Carter proposes to ask me?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris’ eyebrows went a little higher. Mr Purchase hurried on, as if he
-deemed hurry advisable.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“So I hope to be able to get another box for myself, as I am extremely
-anxious to ask Miss Norah to share it with me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You are anxious&mdash;to ask Norah to share it with you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris’ face was a study. I could have laughed out loud, although, even
-while I sat, I was shivering in my shoes. His audacity was beyond
-anything&mdash;at least I thought so, until Mr Carter tried his hand.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Excuse me, Miss Audrey, but that is not a correct statement of the
-case. It is you, Miss Doris, that Jack proposes to ask, in the hope,
-Miss Audrey, that you will join them. I, on the other hand, have
-already asked Miss Norah to favour my box with the honour of her
-presence.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Purchase burst out almost before Mr Carter had finished.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Basil, how can you say such things? Really, you are beyond anything.
-You are perfectly well aware that the original invitation to Miss
-Norah came from me. Now, is that not the fact? Yes or no? Answer me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t be silly, Jack; I invited Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“After I had done so.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Pooh! a question of a moment’s superior glibness.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey stood up.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Is this a little comedy which has been arranged between you two.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That, Miss Audrey, is precisely the question I have put to Jack. I
-certainly have had no hand in it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But it seems to me you have. You will excuse my putting it to you
-bluntly, Mr Carter; but did I not understand you to say that if you
-succeeded in getting a box for the Gaiety you would offer me a seat in
-it?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Basil Carter seeming momentarily tongue-tied, his friend answered for
-him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Of course he did, Miss Audrey; he told me so himself. He was full of
-his anticipations of enjoyment in your society.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris put her question to Mr Purchase.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And were you not good enough to hint at my finding room in it with
-you? I rather fancied that you made some proposition of the kind, or,
-was it only fancy?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was Mr Carter’s turn to reply.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not at all! not in the least! I assure you, Miss Doris, that there is
-not a grain of fancy about it. Jack informed me, with his own lips,
-that he had made an arrangement of the kind with you, and expressed
-his gratification at having done so; and it was with a view of
-carrying out that arrangement that the box was procured. About that
-there cannot be the faintest shadow of a doubt.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There was an instant’s pause. Neither of the men was looking exactly
-comfortable. I was wondering what excuse I could find to get outside
-the room, feeling incapable of marching out without one. Doris was
-lying back in a corner of the settee, picking at the folds in her
-dress, and smiling apparently at her own thoughts. While Audrey was
-standing close to Mr Carter, regarding him with something like a look
-of puzzlement in her beautiful eyes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then are we to understand that the arrangement still holds good?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Carter shifted from one foot to the other.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The arrangement, Miss Audrey?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“As to the box. Am I to be your guest in it, as you promised?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There was a tone in Audrey’s voice which I had never heard in it
-before&mdash;almost of appeal. I knew that she was observing his face with
-growing surprise, wondering at his obvious constraint. He was
-generally the readiest of men; and, with all his passionate devotion
-to her, never at a loss to express, in the most graceful terms, his
-eagerness to meet her smallest wishes. This blundering creature was
-entirely new to her. Something very near to pity came into her face as
-she continued to regard him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What is the matter with you, Mr Carter? You scarcely seem to be
-yourself this afternoon.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Again a second’s pause. Then he lifted his head and looked at her.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am not myself, Miss Audrey, not in the sense that you have known
-me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He turned and looked towards me. As he did so, he came and stood close
-to where I was sitting.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I must beg you to allow me to withdraw from the arrangement which
-existed between us, so far as it referred to me. I believe that Miss
-Norah but seldom attends a theatrical performance. She has never
-attended one with me. If she will grant me the felicity of
-accompanying her to one to-night, she will confer on me an obligation
-of which I shall ever continue conscious.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There was silence after that. I was tingling from head to foot. I
-almost felt that I should like to box his ears. I have little doubt
-that Audrey would not have been indisposed to box both his and mine. A
-look which was akin to terror came into her eyes; she went white, as
-if something had frightened her. Doris laughed, not nicely, or
-naturally either.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“So, Mr Purchase, since Mr Carter throws us over, and what he says is
-quite correct, poor Norah seldom does attend a theatre&mdash;so few people
-care to attend one with her&mdash;Audrey and I will have to depend on you;
-you will have to find seats for both of us.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The moment she had spoken I knew that Mr Purchase was going to make
-himself as objectionable as his friend had done, and I believe that
-Doris half suspected it too. There is a sting in that tongue of hers
-which is always ready to strike at someone the instant she even
-imagines that something unpleasant is going to happen to her. He drew
-himself up with that superior air which I have noticed that some men
-do cultivate when they know that they are about to behave badly.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I trust, Miss Doris, that an erroneous interpretation will not be
-placed upon my words; but you must permit me to point out that I have
-already asked Miss Norah to share my box.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris looked up at him with a sweetly acid smile which I should have
-thought would almost have made him tremble. No man in this world had
-ever thrown her over before, of that I am convinced. In matters of
-that sort, hitherto, all the bad conduct had come from her.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yet it would be quite easy to place an erroneous interpretation upon
-your words and your behaviour too, would it not, Mr Purchase, since
-you have already offered a seat in your box to me?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not in set terms, Miss Doris.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No? I don’t quite know what you mean by set terms. On certain points
-you appear to have ideas of your own. One is thankful to be able to
-think that they are your own. Are we to take it that Norah proposes to
-divide herself into halves, and to share both your boxes?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Certainly not, Miss Doris. At present Mr Purchase hasn’t even got a
-box to share.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This, of course, was Mr Carter.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But I soon shall have. Miss Norah, I need hardly say, will occupy my
-box only.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t talk nonsense, Jack. Before you invite a lady to share your
-box, I should make sure of having a box to which to invite her. I
-doubt if you’ll get one. My impression is that the house is sold right
-out.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I think not. I fancy that I know where to get a box if I want one
-badly. Is it impossible to induce you to see what a peculiar position
-you are taking up, Basil? Is it necessary to once more point out to
-you that the original invitation to Miss Norah came from me, and that
-in that matter you are really merely an interloper?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What rubbish that is, Jack.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey interposed, deftly:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There does seem to be a good deal of rubbish about, doesn’t there?
-Supposing we take its existence for granted. My dear Norah, you must
-let me congratulate you on the flattering eagerness with which these
-gentlemen desire your presence in their two boxes. It is rather an
-unusual experience for you, is it not? And all the pleasanter on that
-account. What pretty roses these are; they are just like some which Mr
-Carter has occasionally given me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Seating herself by my side Audrey took the pink roses from between my
-fingers. Mr Purchase struck what I can only describe as an attitude.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The position which Carter has taken up justifies me in giving you my
-personal assurance that those roses were intended for you, Miss
-Audrey.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Carter gave him back as good as he sent; I do not care if that is a
-vulgar way of putting it, it is a correct one.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And were not those red roses bought by you for Miss Doris, Purchase?
-You know they were.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey went sweetly on.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You are lucky, Norah. You not only get our roses, but our seats in
-boxes too. What a popular child you are.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris’ voice came from the couch.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What I want to know is&mdash;since it appears that you do not propose to
-divide yourself into two equal halves&mdash;which of these extraordinary
-persons do you propose to favour with your company? They themselves
-don’t seem to know, perhaps you do.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was red as a boiled beetroot, and smarting all over, and I expect my
-answers showed it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I have not said that I would favour anybody yet. I don’t want other
-people’s flowers, or other people’s seats in boxes either.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah, I entreat you&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah, I beseech you&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Just as those two men came rushing at me, and began to overwhelm me
-with another flood of words, the door was opened again, and in came
-Walter Hammond.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch09">
-CHAPTER IX.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">MORE TREACHERY</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">Walter Hammond</span> is a truly remarkable person to associate with
-Eveleen. She is rather short, even for a girl, while he is a perfect
-lamp-post of a man&mdash;one of those long, lean persons who seem all
-bones. As he fancies himself horsey, and will persist in dressing the
-part, and wearing the tightest clothes, his extreme slimness is still
-more conspicuous. He is one of those creatures who, when they are in a
-room, seem to be all over the place at once. When he is sitting down
-he never seems to know what to do with his legs, they really are
-tremendously long; if he stretched them out at full length under an
-ordinary dining-table, I should not be surprised if his toes peeped
-out the other side; and when he stands up he is equally at a loss what
-use to make of his hands and arms. He speaks in a rapid, jerky sort of
-way&mdash;in fact, he is jerky altogether. When anyone addresses him, he
-not only twists his body round with one jerk, and his head with
-another, and puts his eyeglass in with one jerk, and out with a
-second, but he jerks at his moustache, first with his right hand, and
-then with his left, in a fashion which a slightly nervous person, who
-is not used to him, must find not a little disconcerting. But I
-believe he is harmless, though I don’t think he is as wise as he might
-be. He appears to have the whole of the “Turf Guide,” or whatever you
-call the thing, at his finger ends; and, if you will let him, will
-talk about horses until you begin to pray for the hour when motor-cars
-will have made them as extinct as the dodo.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-His manner of entering the room was, on that occasion, characteristic.
-He was groping about for his eyeglass, which, as usual, eluded search
-between the buttons of his waistcoat, and was carrying his hat, and
-gloves, and stick, and a good-sized parcel, with an evident want of
-certainty as to the hand they ought to be in, which it gave one the
-fidgets to observe.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey greeted him with a degree of warmth which suggested that she
-regarded his appearance as a welcome interlude. I know I did. I should
-have regarded the advent of anyone or anything as a welcome interlude
-just then, I believe even mad dogs; though, as I have never
-encountered a mad dog, and never wish to, perhaps I had better not be
-too sure.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Oh, Mr Hammond, is that you? How delightful! We want somebody to
-amuse us, we are so dull. Eveleen will be charmed; she will be down in
-a moment.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Needn’t ask how you are, Miss Audrey; you’re always fit. And Miss
-Doris too; can’t make out how you manage.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris spoke.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“We don’t manage. We have our sufferings like other folk&mdash;sometimes
-very unexpected ones they are. What have you in that great parcel? It
-does seem to be in your way; won’t you leave it in the hall?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Gloves! gloves! couldn’t possibly leave it in the hall. It’s a little
-bet I lost to Miss Eveleen over Rocketter. The Brimstone filly was
-giving him four pounds, it seemed to me that at the weights it was a
-cert&mdash;dead snip. Rocketter won the Horndean Plate, the Scratchem Cup,
-the Slingsbury Stakes, with the weights against him. Appeared to me
-down the Lingfield straight, with such a handicap, there was only one
-horse in it. I was wrong. Told Jim Smiff rode a ripping race&mdash;hung on
-to Rocketter’s tail&mdash;caught him at the distance&mdash;nosed him at the
-post. So Miss Eveleen wins her gloves; sure, it gives me the greatest
-pleasure to pay them.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I am not an expert in racing slang, so, if there is anything wrong in
-the way Mr Hammond’s observations are reported I am not to blame. I
-only pretend to give a rudimentary impression of the general style of
-his conversation. It was an extraordinary thing that when Eveleen bet
-with him she nearly always won. Either he was careful to arrange it
-so, or else he knew less than he supposed, and she more. Anyhow,
-somehow, her horse was nearly always in front of his. A remark which
-Doris made seemed to convey a hint which he might or might not have
-considered flattering.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It must be nice to bet with you, Mr Hammond. It ensures one having a
-constant gratuitous supply of little necessaries.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Awfully good of you to say so, Miss Doris&mdash;really. Always delighted
-to lose to a lady&mdash;especially when I’ve had a good run for my
-money&mdash;yes. Tremendous rush there seems to be on the Gaiety. Had
-deuce’s own business to get two stalls.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“For to-night?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yes. Miss Eveleen said she’d like to see the show&mdash;so been worrying
-round&mdash;yes&mdash;had to worry too; but I got ’em.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Eveleen is fortunate. I also should like to see the show.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Very kind of you to say so&mdash;jolly flattering to the theatre
-people&mdash;they ought to go up one.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He had been fumbling, at intervals, for his eyeglass. Now, having
-dropped his hat, stick, and gloves, and only retaining his clutch on
-his parcel, he at last succeeded in jerking his glass into a
-stationary position in front of his eye. He turned towards me. As he
-did so he beamed all over, stood up, and advanced towards me with what
-he possibly intended for a seraphic smile, but which did not strike me
-in that light at all.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“’Pon my word, Miss Norah, fancy you sitting there all the time and my
-not noticing you&mdash;only fancy. How very strange! How are you? I needn’t
-ask; you always are so fit; how do you manage? I never saw you looking
-fitter than you are looking just now&mdash;does one’s eyesight good to look
-at you. Cannot understand how I came to overlook you&mdash;so singular.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The idea of that man talking to me like that&mdash;after the way he had
-treated me&mdash;put me all on end, as I let him see.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It is not at all singular. On the contrary, you have always treated
-me in exactly the same manner. I have sat in the same room with you
-for hours and hours, and you have paid no more attention to me than if
-I was an unnecessary piece of furniture. I doubt if you have ever
-spoken twenty consecutive words to me in your life.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The wretch was not at all abashed. That afternoon everybody seemed to
-be incapable of shame&mdash;particularly those who ought to have been most
-keenly alive to it. It is a disagreeable world. Talk about
-brazen-faced, impudent deceitfulness! I believe that all men are
-capable of anything; I am convinced they are.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That Hammond creature went blundering on as calmly and easily as if I
-had not said what ought to have made him writhe.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Can only assure you that if I haven’t spoken twenty consecutive words
-to you, I’ll make up for it now&mdash;only like to have the chance. Feel I
-could talk to you for ever&mdash;sure I could. Like gloves? Sure to. All
-girls like gloves&mdash;get through lots of them. Here’s a box full; find
-them rather a decent sort; hope you’ll do me the honour of wearing
-them.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He held out to me the parcel of gloves which he had just been
-announcing, in the presence of us all, that he had bought to pay the
-debt which he had lost to Eveleen. That did freeze me. I sat up as
-straight as a beanpole.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t understand you, Mr Hammond.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-But I did not succeed in freezing him. He indulged in an affable
-smile, which made him seem all teeth and mouth.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Quite simple. Hope you’ll permit me to have the pleasure of
-presenting you with a box of gloves; you’ll find them rippers, got
-them from a really decent fellow; makes specially for me&mdash;sixes.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I take sevens.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do you? Glad to hear it. Like a girl to have a good-sized hand. Hate
-your little namby things, better suited to a doll than to the end of a
-woman’s arm.” A nice observation to make, considering that both Audrey
-and Doris were present, and that they are notorious for their tiny
-hands. But Mr Hammond went unconcernedly on. “If you want a more
-sensible size you can easily change them, or I will for you. I’ve got
-a largish hand myself.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He had. He held out in front of me, with an air of simpering
-satisfaction, the very largest hand I had ever seen. I wondered what
-acreage of ground a hand like that might represent. But I did not
-quite say so.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I understood you to say that those gloves were to settle a bet which
-you had lost to Eveleen.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s all right. You take these&mdash;I’ll soon get her some
-others&mdash;don’t you worry about Miss Eveleen.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I would rather not take them, thank you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Perhaps you’re right; may as well get a decent size straight away&mdash;a
-larger box&mdash;better quality. Got two stalls for the Gaiety to-night;
-hope you’ll do me the pleasure of occupying one.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do I understand that you are offering me Eveleen’s stall?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Much rather you came, if it’s all the same to you. Awfully jolly if
-you would.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I would rather not come, thank you, Mr Hammond.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Basil Carter came forward. I was really glad of his interference,
-though I would rather he had been a little more sensible.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah will certainly not come with you, Hammond. And, in order
-that you may not annoy her with your importunities, perhaps it would
-be as well that I should tell you at once that to-night, at the Gaiety
-Theatre, Miss Norah will share my box.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-At once Mr Purchase contradicted him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do you wish to quarrel with me, Basil? Because, if not, I must ask
-you to refrain from persisting in such statements. Already I have
-borne them nearly as long as I can. Permit me to inform you, Hammond,
-that it is my box which will be honoured by Miss Norah’s presence.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You haven’t the faintest ground for such an assertion. To begin with,
-you haven’t a box.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I shall have one. And I have this ground, Basil, that the original
-invitation to Miss Norah came from me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Fiddle-dee-dee!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Carter snapped his fingers; and they were at it again. Mr Hammond
-took advantage of their wrangling to press what he appeared to have
-the audacity to regard as his claims.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“As these gentlemen don’t seem to be able to agree as to whose guest
-you are going to be, Miss Norah, I vote that you settle the question
-by becoming mine. It would be splendid fun! First rate! Good
-stalls&mdash;bang in the middle of the second row&mdash;better than a box&mdash;it
-would be awfully sporting of you, don’t you know. Say you’ll come!
-Yes! Do! Be the jolly good sort you look, Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Since the moment Mr Hammond had planted himself at my side, and
-commenced to conduct himself in such a peculiar manner, both Audrey
-and Doris had been speechless. Possibly they felt that the singularity
-of the general proceedings went beyond the capacity of words. But when
-that Hammond man&mdash;who, although a friend of Eveleen’s, was, to all
-intents and purposes, a stranger to me&mdash;called me “a jolly good sort”
-to my very face, Audrey burst out laughing, as though the joke had
-gone past bearing.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What is the matter with you all?” she cried. “Is this a conspiracy
-between you three, or have you suddenly gone mad? What is it in Norah
-that has made her, all at once, such an irresistible object of
-attention?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-While she was still speaking Eveleen came in. She addressed herself to
-her.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“So, Eveleen, here you are at last; and it’s quite time you were here.
-Perhaps you will be able to supply the key to the riddle. Mr Carter
-and Mr Purchase have given Norah our roses and our seats at the
-theatre; and now Mr Hammond is endeavouring to induce her to accept
-your gloves and your stall. If there is a rational explanation of
-these gentlemen’s behaviour, do, dear, lose no time in finding it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Eveleen came forward with a smile, and that little alert air which
-seems to suggest that there must be quicksilver in her veins.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What’s the joke? Don’t keep me out of it. How do, Walter?” Their
-acquaintance had got to the Christian-name stage. Eveleen is a little
-familiar with her young men; though she encourages them to behave only
-with the strictest decorum. “You’re looking rather chippy; have you
-been having too many skittles since I saw you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She can be slangy; particularly when she thinks that sort of thing is
-sympathetic. I fancy she endeavours to adapt the style of her
-conversation to her company. I am sure that when she has been talking
-to a parson her language has seemed to reek of the odour of sanctity.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I think she expected him to spring to his feet at sight of her, and
-burst into a fit of jerky enthusiasm. If she did she was disappointed.
-He just raised himself an inch or two, and, in an extremely
-perfunctory fashion, extended to her the extreme tips of his fingers.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Feeling as fit as a fiddler. Sorry you don’t think I look it.” He
-turned to me. “Don’t you think I’m looking pretty fit, Miss Norah?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-A slight shade of surprise flitted across her features, as it had done
-across Doris’ face, and Audrey’s.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Have you brought me my gloves?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Did bring them&mdash;rather wanted Miss Norah to have them&mdash;seems she
-takes a decent size&mdash;none of your little dollie flippers; so as
-they’ll fit you, you may as well have them. Here you are. Now we’re
-straight.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He thrust the parcel into her hands; she taking it with the expression
-of surprise growing on her countenance.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And have you got the stall you promised me?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He inserted his thumbs in the armholes of his waistcoat, and began to
-shake himself in the manner which recalled a dog which has just come
-out of the water. Only he did it in such a very jerky way that one
-almost expected to hear his joints all cracking.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Got a stall&mdash;had dreadful bother to get one&mdash;seems as if everyone
-wants to go to the place at the same time. If you don’t mind&mdash;and it
-don’t make any difference to you&mdash;’pon my word don’t see why it
-should&mdash;had rather Miss Norah went with me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t understand you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I say that unless it upsets you in any way&mdash;and I don’t see how it
-can&mdash;sure to find a chap who’ll be only too glad to place a stall at
-your disposal&mdash;lots of chaps about&mdash;I’d rather Miss Norah went with
-me&mdash;much rather&mdash;really; in fact I’ve asked her.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She looked at him in a way which I should have thought would have made
-even such a hardened sinner, as he seemed to be, wince. But he failed
-to turn a hair.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Still, I don’t quite understand. Do you mean, Walter, that you have
-offered my stall to Norah&mdash;to my sister Norah?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yes&mdash;that’s it&mdash;exactly what I do mean. It’s clear enough, don’t you
-know. Don’t see where the difficulty comes in, ’pon my word. Only I
-don’t quite see why you should call it <i>your</i> stall, really! I paid
-for it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You paid for it? I see. And did you offer my gloves&mdash;these gloves, to
-Norah also?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s all right. I wanted her to have them; but as she has a really
-decent sort of hand, they’re miles too small for her, so as I know
-they’ll be all right for you, you may as well have them. Don’t you
-worry about that a little bit.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She looked about her with an air of bewilderment as if seeking an
-explanation from someone, somewhere. Her face had quite altered during
-the few moments she had been in the room. Even her voice had changed,
-it seemed to have grown husky. I knew that she was really fond of Mr
-Hammond. He had been in the habit of prostrating himself in the dust
-at her feet. It must have been a dreadful wrench to have been spoken
-to by him like that.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I suppose that there is a joke somewhere; but I’m so dull that I
-don’t see where. Norah, has Mr Hammond really done as he says? What
-have you been doing?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She favoured me with an accusatory glance, as if I had been guilty of
-the blackest crimes. Audrey came to my rescue.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“To do her justice, so far as I have seen, Norah has been doing
-nothing. Norah has been sitting mumchance; scarcely saying boo! to a
-goose, as if she were on prickles. The men appear to have done all the
-doing&mdash;unless they have been indulging in an elaborate practical joke,
-at her expense, and ours, which they have already carried too far to
-be in the best of taste. It may be funny, in its way, which is not a
-pretty one.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Eveleen was continuing to glare at me, as if she would have liked her
-eyes to have scorched my face.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Are you going with Mr Hammond?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Carter took upon himself to answer.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No, Miss Eveleen; Miss Norah is not going with Mr Hammond. Miss Norah
-is going with me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Eveleen looked up at him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“With you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Before he could reply, Mr Purchase interposed:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Again adventuring, Basil, upon forbidden ground, and, in so doing,
-conveying a totally wrong impression. Miss Eveleen, Miss Norah will be
-my guest.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Jack, do you wish to tempt me to lose my temper?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear Basil, let me beg you to remember.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Hammond reseated himself at my side.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Since these two chaps do nothing but call each other names!”&mdash;they
-had not called each other a single name up to then; it was only that
-Mr Hammond has his own way of expressing himself&mdash;“supposing we fix it
-quietly between ourselves. As they can’t hit it off who you’re to go
-with, don’t you go with either of them&mdash;you go with me. That’ll suit
-me to a T!&mdash;down to the ground, Miss Norah! We shan’t quarrel; you can
-bet your hat on that, and your boots on top of it. We’ll have the best
-time, Miss Norah, if you’ll take my word for it, that anyone ever did
-have yet. I’ll do you a treat, on my honour! And if you’ll only say
-yes, you’ll come, you’ll make me pretty nearly as happy as if I’d won
-the Derby on my very own horse&mdash;you can lay your money on it all the
-while.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Carter touched him on the shoulder.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Surely, Hammond, it cannot be necessary to again ask you to refrain
-from troubling Miss Norah, who, this evening, will be my guest!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But that’s just the point, my dear chap! Will she? Purchase says
-not.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I do say not. And that for the sufficient reason that she will be
-mine. And that is also a reason, Hammond, why you should not continue
-your persecution of Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There you are&mdash;one says one thing, t’other says t’other. What I want
-to know is, who’s who? which is which? what’s what? Straight
-tip!&mdash;fight it out between yourselves. Leave Miss Norah and I to fix
-up things between ourselves! There’s a friendly hint for you!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Hammond, is it possible that you intend to be impertinent?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear boy, there isn’t a grain of impertinence in the whole of my
-constitution, honest Injun! All I ask is&mdash;talk sense.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The sense of the matter is that Miss Norah will be my guest.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Jack, that’s utter nonsense!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There you are! there you are! Where are you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Eveleen spoke, her words coming from her lips like drops of vitriol.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t you think, Norah, that you had better favour all three of these
-gentlemen with your delightful company? It would be so nice&mdash;for them,
-and for you&mdash;and it would save further complications.” She turned to
-Audrey and Doris. “Has it not occurred to you two girls that we are
-rather in the way?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Both Audrey and Doris burst out laughing. I do not know what at. There
-did not seem to be much merriment in their mirth. While they were
-still making those somewhat discordant sounds, Major Paul Tibbet
-entered the room.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch10">
-CHAPTER X.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE COMPROMISE</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">Everybody</span> that afternoon seemed to be bringing something. We might
-have been spreading broadcast an announcement that each caller was
-expected to provide himself with an offering as evidence of good
-faith. The moment I set eyes on Major Tibbet I perceived that he had
-his. It took the shape of a brown-paper parcel of some size, and,
-apparently, some weight, since he bore it in front of him, on both
-arms, as if it were a baby. As he is not the kind of person one would
-expect to see carry a parcel of any kind, the effect was a little
-funny.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey’s and Doris’ forced laughter seemed to give him a false
-impression of what was going on. He broke into what he probably
-intended should be a smile of the extremest affability.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I come at a fortunate moment, to find you laughing! full of fun!
-Nothing so delightful as the merriment of young ladies. I thoroughly
-enjoy a joke, myself.” He addressed Audrey. “I have here a trifle
-which I trust will not meet with the disapprobation of Mrs O’Brady.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It doesn’t look as if it were a trifle.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Between ourselves, it’s not&mdash;weighs twenty pounds if an
-ounce&mdash;magnificent bird&mdash;pick of the market.” His voice assumed a tone
-of great solemnity. “It’s a truffled turkey&mdash;prepared by my own chef,
-with his own hands, after a recipe of his own. A <i>chef-d’œuvre</i>; an
-unique, Miss Audrey, an unique!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The Major makes a god of his belly. The only things he really cares
-for&mdash;besides the decoration of his ridiculous old person&mdash;are things
-to eat and drink. He keeps the menus of his dinners. He can give you
-the history&mdash;with all the i’s dotted and the t’s crossed&mdash;of meals he
-ate thirty years ago; with the names of all the dishes, detailed
-accounts of how they were cooked, and realistic descriptions of how
-they tasted. It gives me a feeling of having over-eaten myself to hear
-him talk.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I have ventured, also, Miss Audrey, to command a small dinner at the
-King’s to-night, which I am hopeful that Mrs O’Brady will do me the
-honour of eating with me. I will tell you what I have ordered&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Had you not better tell mamma that? She might like to be the first
-recipient of so delicious a communication.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You may be right. I think you probably are. When one considers the
-matter broadly, one perceives that that would only be just to Mrs
-O’Brady. I will tell you afterwards, Miss Audrey; only a pleasure
-postponed, that’s all. This parcel is a trifle heavy; I think, with
-your permission, I should like to&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As he began to look about for a spot on which to deposit his
-twenty-pound turkey, his eyes travelled in my direction. When they
-reached me, he started. He came a step nearer, as if, at that
-distance, his poor, faded, old eyes were not perfectly sure that it
-was I. Having made up his mind upon the point, he quite obviously
-started again, coming close up to me with a sort of little canter. At
-the same moment I was conscious&mdash;though the Major was not&mdash;that mamma
-had entered the room, and stood just inside the door, listening and
-looking on.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear Miss Norah, fancy my not noticing you before&mdash;most
-extraordinary! Can’t think how it could have happened. I’m sure, I beg
-ten thousand pardons. However, better late than never; you know the
-old saying, my dear Miss Norah. Allow me to present you with this
-truffled turkey&mdash;done by my own man. If I were to tell you, in
-confidence, what I pay the fellow, you’d stare. I’ve reason to believe
-that, before you put your fork into him, this bird will have cost me
-five pounds. Yet I dare to assert that, by the time you have done with
-him, you will agree with me that he was worth every farthing of it,
-Miss Norah, every farthing.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you, Major Tibbet, but I do not care for truffled turkey.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not care for truffled turkey! What are you saying, Miss Norah? You
-can’t mean it. I suppose it’s a jest of yours&mdash;an excellent one, too.
-Because, of course, it isn’t possible that anyone shouldn’t care for
-truffled turkey.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It is not only possible, but, in my case, it’s an actual fact. I do
-not care for truffled turkey, Major Tibbet. Nor, in any case, could I
-accept a gift which was intended for my mother.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When I said this, I saw mamma&mdash;who, with the aid of her <i>pince-nez</i>,
-had been taking the liveliest interest in the Major’s remarks&mdash;give a
-kind of little jump. I knew that she liked truffled turkey, and that,
-indeed, on the subject of eating and drinking, generally, she and the
-Major were in considerable sympathy. I suppose that, when people grow
-old, they are fonder of that kind of thing than when they are young.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That gormandising Major, in complete unconsciousness of who was
-standing behind him, threw mamma’s prior claim upon his wretched bird
-entirely overboard.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Ah, your mother, your respected mother. I do like to find young girls
-considering their mothers. It’s a sweet trait&mdash;yes, it’s a very sweet
-trait&mdash;in your character, Miss Norah. Still, I’ve no doubt that you
-and I, between us, shall be able to manage with your mother,
-afterwards&mdash;that is, if you will condescend to accept my little
-offering.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you, Major Tibbet, but I will not.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then, in that case, we’ll say no more about it, and we’ll settle it
-in this way. I’ve ordered dinner at the King’s restaurant this
-evening. If they carry out my instructions&mdash;and, if they don’t,
-they’ll hear of it!&mdash;I think I can promise you something which shall
-be worthy even of&mdash;Miss Norah; if Miss Norah will permit me to count
-upon her as my guest.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I thought, Major Tibbet, that the dinner also was intended for
-mamma.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really, Miss Norah, really! you are unduly severe, you really are!
-You should never go behind an invitation&mdash;never. When I invite you, I
-invite you, and venture to anticipate a favourable reply. It would
-make me so happy, Miss Norah, it really would.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Jack Purchase came forward.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Pardon me, Major Tibbet. Perhaps, Miss Norah, I had better explain.
-Major Tibbet, Miss Norah will not be able to dine with you to-night,
-as she is sharing my box at the Gaiety Theatre.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Basil Carter followed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Major Tibbet, in a sense, that statement is correct&mdash;with the
-solitary exception that it is my box which Miss Norah is going to
-share.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, Basil, have I again to remonstrate with you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear Jack, the remonstrance would more properly come from me!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Walter Hammond thrust in his comments, seeming to jerk out his limbs
-in all directions as he spoke.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“At it again! Nice boys, aren’t they, Miss Norah? Always in their
-little nests agree! Since still they can’t make up their minds who’s
-who, and what’s what, and Tibbet’s a little late with his dinner, do
-say, Miss Norah, you’ll have that stall of mine. It’ll be so sporting
-of you, don’t you know; and you’ll be able to nod now and then at
-Purchase and Carter, as they sit glaring at each other in their
-boxes.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Apparently mamma had arrived at the conclusion that it was time to
-announce her presence.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What does this discussion mean? And how is it that Norah has all at
-once become the centre of so much attention? Norah, what have you been
-doing? How are you, gentlemen? Good-afternoon, Major.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Major Tibbet advanced to mamma, holding out his brown paper parcel&mdash;of
-which I rather suspected he had become wearied.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Here you are, Mrs O’Brady! How are you? Hope you’re well. Here’s a
-truffled turkey for you. Miss Norah doesn’t seem to care for it, but
-I’m sure you will. Much pleasure in giving it you, I’m sure.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Whether mamma had equal pleasure in accepting it was not so
-obvious&mdash;particularly after the remarks which she could not have
-helped but hear, and the manner of presentation was, to say the least,
-peculiar. Without waiting to see if mamma was ready to relieve him of
-his burden, he forced it on her in such a very singular fashion that
-it went crashing to the floor. He did not stop to inquire if it had
-fallen on her feet, which it might easily have done, and twenty pounds
-is twenty pounds when it falls upon your tightly-fitting slippers;
-still less did he trouble himself to even offer to pick it up again.
-The moment he had got rid of it he came bustling back to me, mumbling
-an apology which was fashioned on lines which were distinctly his own.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Beg pardon&mdash;thought you’d got it&mdash;really! Better ring the bell, and
-tell servant to take it away&mdash;thing’s so heavy, nearly broken both my
-arms&mdash;couldn’t have held it another moment, really! Now, Miss Norah,
-about this dinner to-night. I’ve ordered a bisque, which&mdash;I give you
-my personal assurance&mdash;when you have once tasted it you will not
-easily forget.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Again there came an interposition from Mr Purchase.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah will not have an opportunity of forgetting the&mdash;article in
-question, since it is apparently necessary to repeat to you that, this
-evening, she is engaged to me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“To me, that is.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This, of course, was Basil Carter.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I would recommend you, Major Tibbet, to understand that Purchase
-speaks in a general sense only, since, in the letter, as a matter of
-plain fact, Miss Norah is engaged to me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Major Tibbet, Basil, is too wise a man to discredit my positive
-statement.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“He will be an exceedingly unwise one if he casts the faintest shadow
-of a doubt on mine.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Then came Mr Hammond.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I’m the last person in the world to wish to breed dissension where
-there’s disputing already, because a pretty quarrel’s too good a thing
-to spoil; but I take leave to remark, Mr Carter, and Mr Purchase, and
-Major Tibbet, that Miss Norah will relieve you of all your
-difficulties by bestowing her society on me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah,” observed mamma, in that icy tone which I knew so well, and
-which I knew suggested that she was not in the very sweetest temper,
-“I think you had better retire to your own room.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“To her own room!” cried Mr Hammond. “And why, Mrs O’Brady, would you
-break our hearts and darken the heavens?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t know if you are aware, Mr Hammond, that at least your
-language is peculiar. I am afraid that Norah must have been forgetting
-herself to be the cause of this&mdash;singular scene.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Forgetting herself? Not at all! It’s we who have been remembering
-her&mdash;that’s how it is, Mrs O’Brady. And, between ourselves, I’d be
-glad if you’d tell her that you’d like her to occupy a stall I have
-to-night at the Gaiety Theatre.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Excuse me, Mrs O’Brady,” interposed Basil Carter, “but Mr Hammond
-seems disposed to take an unfair advantage of you. It is I who would
-ask you to permit Miss Norah to share my box.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mrs O’Brady,” exclaimed Jack Purchase, “before you say one word to
-either of them, please allow me to inform you that it was I who first
-asked Miss Norah to honour me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And how about my dinner at the King’s!” cried Major Tibbet. “I need
-hardly tell you, Mrs O’Brady, that I have the good fortune to be
-somewhat the senior of these young gentlemen, and it is therefore with
-every confidence that I ask you this evening to entrust Miss Norah to
-me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mamma’s manner, as she replied, was anything but genial.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Whether consciously or not I cannot say, but you gentlemen are
-behaving with more than a little singularity. You seem oblivious of
-the fact that other ladies are present besides this&mdash;child. Must I
-again request you, Norah, to oblige me by at once retiring to your own
-room?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Suddenly a voice came from the door, and Mr Rumford advanced at a pace
-which was hardly becoming to his decidedly well-developed figure&mdash;in
-his hand the ubiquitous box. He and Lilian had entered together, and
-only a second before, unless I was much mistaken, I had seen him
-offering it to her. Now he withdrew it, with what was very like a
-snatch, from her approaching fingers.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Retire to her own room!” he protested, in that loud, ringing voice of
-his, which always made me think what an excellent cheap-jack he would
-have made. “You couldn’t be so cruel, Mrs O’Brady. It’s not to be
-thought of, not for a moment. May I ask you to accept these bonbons,
-dear Miss Norah? I am sure you have a sweet tooth&mdash;it would be so in
-character. And I am so fortunate as to have two stalls to-night for
-the Gaiety Theatre. If you would avail yourself of one&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He was interrupted by Audrey breaking into an apparently irresistible
-peal of laughter. Everyone turned to stare at her. That sort of thing
-is so unusual in Audrey, who is generally the quietest of persons. I,
-for one, had never heard her laugh like that before. She endeavoured
-to explain what had caused her merriment.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It really is so funny; all the world is going to-night to the Gaiety
-Theatre. The coincidence is most amusing.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And yet the explanation is extremely simple,” commented Eveleen,
-speaking in a coldly acid voice, which meant that she was raging hot
-within. “We have all been talking about it lately, and I suppose that
-we have all dropped hints that we would like to go. These gentlemen,
-with that generosity which we know is one of their most charming
-characteristics, have acted on those hints&mdash;up to a certain point.
-They have all, with one accord, provided themselves with seats. Are we
-to take it, Norah, that you propose to occupy them all?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Hammond snapped his fingers, making a noise like the report of a
-pop gun.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You’ve hit it on the head, Miss Eveleen; prevented bloodshed, and
-solved the problem. Miss Norah, we’ll act upon your sister’s hint.
-Tibbet, we all of us will dine with you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The Major looked as if the proposition took him by surprise&mdash;which was
-not to be wondered at.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You’ll excuse me, Mr Hammond, but I’m hanged if you will.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then Miss Norah won’t, for to-night we hunt in companies.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The Major looked at the speaker with a rueful countenance.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“How many are there of you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Four, barring Miss Norah, and she counts for all the world. At what
-time do you dine?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I, sir, dine at eight.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Eight! Why, man, that’s the time the theatre begins. You’ll dine at
-seven.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You adopt a very peculiar tone, Mr Hammond, in endeavouring to
-dictate to me at what hour I take my meals. I entirely decline to
-contemplate the possibility of my dining at such an un-Christian hour
-as seven.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Good! then we’ll dine at seven, and you’ll dine afterwards. When
-we’ve dined we’ll go on together in a body to the theatre, and Miss
-Norah shall take it turn and turn about to sit with us. What do you
-say, gentlemen? Isn’t that a sporting proposition?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“On condition that Miss Norah sits first of all with me, I, for one,
-am not indisposed, for the sake of peace, to waive some portion of my
-undoubted rights.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This was Basil Carter. Mr Purchase came hard upon his heels.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, Basil, you’ve taken the words out of my mouth. If Miss Norah
-sits first with me, Hammond, you may count me in.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Gentlemen! gentlemen!” cried Mr Rumford. “It appears to me that I
-have a voice in the matter; I claim the place of honour.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Hammond endeavoured to throw oil upon the waters.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Softly! keep a tight hand upon the reins. Wait till the gate has
-gone, then we’ll all be off together. There need be no difficulty
-about a little thing like that. For my part, if the running’s fair,
-I’m willing that my stall shall be the last Miss Norah sits in;
-that’ll suit me all the way. But there are ways and means of settling
-that sort of thing pleasantly and quietly between ourselves. The main
-point is the principle&mdash;we’re to share and share alike. If that’s
-conceded, we’ll worry about the details afterwards. You understand,
-Miss Norah, that you’re to dine with us at seven. We’ll be here, the
-lot of us, to fetch you at a quarter to. For the sake of all the good
-horses that ever ran an honest race, be ready&mdash;don’t keep us
-waiting&mdash;we’ll be an anxious crowd. And, until then, Miss Norah, I’ll
-be wishing you good-bye.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I also, Miss Norah,” said Mr Carter, taking my hand before I knew
-that he meant to offer me his. “I am well aware that your near
-neighbourhood will bring happiness to me, but, at the same time, I
-would have you clearly realise that I only relinquish the rare
-privilege of your undivided society throughout the evening for the
-sake of that harmony which I know you would desire.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah,” urged Mr Purchase, “do not for one moment suppose that,
-in self-abnegation, Basil is one whit in front of me. What I suffer by
-acceding, for the sake of peace, to the compromise which has been
-suggested, it is possible that you will one day know.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s you only I’m thinking of, Miss Norah,” declared Mr Rumford. “I
-needn’t tell you which I’m likely to prefer, to have you all to
-myself&mdash;blissful thought, Miss Norah!&mdash;or to&mdash;to share you with a
-crowd.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Rumford looked about him in a way which certainly was not
-suggestive of the harmony of which they all were speaking. Major
-Tibbet joined himself to the chorus, with a simper which ill became
-him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You will judge what my feelings are, Miss Norah, when I tell you
-that, for your sake, I will consent to dine at seven. I have made it
-one of the rules of my life never to dine, anywhere, before eight. How
-long it is since I dined at the abnormal hour of seven, I am unable to
-say positively, without referring. But so far as my memory serves
-me&mdash;and in matters of such importance I think my memory may be
-trusted&mdash;I say, that so far as my memory serves me&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yes, we know what you say, Tibbet; and you can say the rest to-night.
-Remember, Miss Norah, a quarter to seven&mdash;sharp!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Hammond thrust his arm through the Major’s and bore him away. The
-five men all left the room, and I was left alone with the girls and
-mamma.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch11">
-CHAPTER XI.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE TURNING OF THE WORM</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">No</span> one spoke a word for quite a minute. The girls and mamma were
-looking at me&mdash;I was conscious of their eyes all over me&mdash;and I was
-looking at the floor. I felt as if I had been guilty of&mdash;to say the
-very least&mdash;the gravest impropriety, though I had not the faintest
-notion how, and was thoroughly well aware that now the storm was about
-to burst,&mdash;which presently it did. Mamma began&mdash;in that tone of voice
-in which she addresses observations to the servants which she dares
-them to deny. It gives you the impression that she is sitting on the
-safety-valve, and that in another half-second there will be a blow-up.
-And there generally is.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah, may I ask you to tell me what is the meaning of the scene
-which I have just witnessed?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I smoothed the petals of one of Mr Carter’s roses.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really, mamma, you know as well as I do.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Please don’t speak to me in that impertinent manner.” Her voice was
-raised perhaps half a tone. “I insist upon an explanation. Why have
-these men behaved in so disgraceful a fashion, and what encouragement
-have you been giving them?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Encouragement? I?” I glanced up with what I intended to be my air of
-perfect innocence. I do not fancy, from the expression which was on
-mamma’s countenance, that she quite liked the look which was on mine.
-“Audrey and Doris have been here the whole time. They will be able to
-tell you what encouragement I have offered.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do you expect me to believe that these men would have given
-you&mdash;you!&mdash;the presents which were intended for your sisters, unless
-you had offered them some extraordinary and disgraceful
-encouragement?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I do not know why they gave the things to me. I am sure I did not
-want them. I could not have told them so more plainly. I shall have
-pleasure in handing them over to whoever you think they were
-originally intended for.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Doris spoke. She was still sitting on the couch, her arms raised, her
-hands clasped under the back of her head, her face turned towards the
-ceiling. Her manner was smilingly acid.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“How nice of you, Norah! And will you really give me Mr Purchase’s red
-roses, and Audrey Mr Carter’s pink ones, and Lilian Mr Rumford’s
-bonbons? Eveleen already has Mr Hammond’s gloves, and mamma the
-Major’s turkey,&mdash;at least, she will have, when she picks it up from
-the floor, since those you declined to accept. How very sweet you are!
-Think of studying our feelings to that extent.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Lilian came forward. She looked more disagreeable than any of them.
-Considering that Mr Rumford’s conduct had been so very unexpected, and
-that she had made up her mind that it was time that she should marry
-someone, and that Mr Rumford was the most eligible person who seemed
-likely to present himself, there was some excuse for her, though I do
-not think she need have been quite so vicious as she was.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“At any rate, I will have those bonbons. They certainly were not meant
-for you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She positively snatched at the box, which was on the ottoman at my
-side. I looked up at her with my sweetest smile.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“With the greatest possible pleasure, my dear Lilian. I should not
-wish to accept anything from Mr Rumford. You know that he is not the
-sort of person to whom I should care to be indebted in the smallest
-particular.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then don’t you dare to go to the Gaiety with him to-night!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Dare? My dear Lilian, what very odd language you do use. It’s not a
-question of daring, I can assure you.” I smiled down at Mr Carter’s
-roses, which I had exchanged for Mr Purchase’s. “It’s not my fault if
-he prefers to take me instead of you&mdash;is it?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I thought she would have boxed my ears. I feel sure she would have
-liked to. Eveleen laughed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And I suppose,” she said, “that it’s not your fault if they all of
-them prefer to take you instead of us.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I kept on smiling at the roses.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t know why they should prefer it. I haven’t an idea.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It is a novel experience, isn’t it?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I certainly haven’t been to the theatre with so many gentlemen as
-you, if that’s what you mean.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I did not raise my eyes, but I have a suspicion that Eveleen looked at
-me a little waspishly.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I wonder if, after all, you are cleverer than we have given you
-credit for. If so, you have managed to hide your light under a bushel
-for a good many years. You must excuse my saying so, but you seem this
-afternoon to have performed a sort of conjuring trick.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“A conjuring trick? How?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You have captured, at a single stroke, the five hearts which,
-separately and individually, we have been laboriously cultivating, and
-all the seats which were meant for us; while we&mdash;we, alas!&mdash;have been
-left lamenting. Don’t you think yourself that that’s a sort of
-conjuring trick?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You know, Eveleen, men are very fickle.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I have had some experience of men, as you have hinted, and I am
-painfully aware, my dear child, of the truth of that elementary fact
-in natural history; but I did not know that they were fickle to quite
-the extent which you suggest. I personally have never before seen them
-perform a right-about-face quite so rapidly, or quite so impudently
-either.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey came and planted herself on the carpet at my feet.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Let me look at you, Norah. Every marvel, the wise inform us, is
-capable of a natural explanation; so perhaps this is.” I was conscious
-that those lovely eyes of hers, which see everything, were subjecting
-me to a curious scrutiny. “Do you know that there is something
-different about you somehow. It’s a sort of atmosphere. I’m sensible
-of it as I look at you. Let me see your eyes.” I did. I saw her
-breathe more quickly the moment they were fastened on her face.
-“That’s it! Child, what hankey-pankey have you been indulging in?” She
-laid her hands upon my knees. “Do you know that there is magic in your
-eyes, and that you’re prettier than I am?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Audrey! Don’t talk such nonsense! As if I didn’t know!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I beat you in regularity of feature&mdash;in those formal charms which go
-to the composition of a picture; but there’s magic in your eyes. No
-man could look at them and remain unmoved. I can’t. They move me quite
-funnily. I’d like to kiss them, and I’m not a kissing person as a
-rule. Masculine flesh is much more susceptible than mine. Doris, come
-here and look at her, and tell me if you don’t see exactly what I
-mean.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I’m much obliged, but I don’t happen to be interested. I have seen
-too many persons apparently moved by them already. What I want to know
-is, is Jack Purchase going to be moved by them for ever.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey had never looked away from my face. Although she might not have
-been aware of it, in her voice there came a touch of anxiety.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah, you’re not fond of Mr Carter, are you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Well&mdash;in a kind of a way.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“In a kind of a way? What kind of a way? Remember, child, that what is
-sport to you may be&mdash;something else to me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was in a mischievous frame of mind. Each moment the mood was growing
-on me. What is more, my courage had returned. When I thought of what I
-had suffered at the hands of those four girls, and realised that now
-an opportunity had come&mdash;though goodness only knew whence, or how, or
-why!&mdash;to pay them back some of their own coin, an imp of malice seemed
-to enter into me, so that I did not care what I did or said. Ignoring
-Audrey’s evident earnestness I tried to seem as indifferent as I
-could.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t like him as much as I do Jack Purchase.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t you, indeed!” retorted Doris, still with her face upturned.
-“What an altogether delightful person you seem to have suddenly
-become&mdash;such a storehouse of all the sisterly virtues. You have my
-permission to like Mr Purchase as much as you please; and he is at
-liberty to like you&mdash;if he is that sort of person.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s ridiculous!” cried Lilian, in that vicious way of hers. “Norah
-is nothing but a great, ungainly, awkward gawk. She always has been,
-and always will be. She is as little likely to appeal to a decent man
-as one of Barnum’s freaks. The only kind of person to whom she is
-likely to commend herself is such a monstrosity as Crooked Ben.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When she said that, I went hot all over. I made up my mind that I
-would show her no mercy, at any rate.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If that is so isn’t it rather queer that Mr Rumford should prefer my
-society to yours?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“He doesn’t, and you know very well he doesn’t. If you suppose he does
-then you must be a little madder even than I thought, and I am not
-conscious of ever having rated your intellectual capacity highly.
-These men have simply combined to make you the victim of a stupid
-practical joke. They know you are dull, and have traded on that
-knowledge to a degree for which I readily admit there is no excuse.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You think so?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Surely you are not going to be such an idiot as to take their
-tomfooleries seriously? Use your common-sense&mdash;or what stands you in
-the place of common-sense. Has any one of them ever treated you with
-sufficient civility to enable you to justify to yourself their
-ridiculous conduct of this afternoon&mdash;the preposterous pose they have
-taken up? On the contrary, haven’t they studiously ignored your very
-existence&mdash;except on those occasions when they have gone out of their
-way to laugh at you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s true enough. I’m afraid they have not been very nice to me&mdash;in
-the past.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“In the past! Do you consider, then, that they have treated you nicely
-in the present&mdash;this afternoon&mdash;just now, for instance?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am of opinion that they have behaved very horridly to us&mdash;including
-Norah. We should be quite justified in never admitting them into the
-house again. Were I Norah I should signify my resentment of their
-conduct in a fashion which they would not be likely to forget.
-However, tastes differ. It is possible that Norah has her own ideas.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This was Doris. Then came Eveleen&mdash;in almost everything she said there
-was a meaning which was not upon the surface. She is just a mistress
-of innuendo.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There are people who would prefer to occupy the peculiar position of
-a common butt rather than not be taken notice of at all. Perhaps these
-gentlemen have counted on the fact. In some men the sense of humour
-takes such an odd direction.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey showed that she had a clearer insight into the real inwardness
-of the matter than all the rest of them put together.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You are wrong&mdash;all of you. This afternoon Norah is a witch&mdash;she has
-bewitched them.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Eveleen sneered.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really? What a very simple, lucid, and satisfactory explanation of
-these gentlemen’s wrong-headedness.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Audrey!” cried Lilian. “How can you talk such nonsense? Do you want
-to make a greater fool of her than she has been made already.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Lilian, your temper is such a short one; do keep hold of it. I’m not
-holding a brief for Norah; but if you come here and look at her eyes,
-and realise the intangible something which is in the atmosphere which
-surrounds her, you’ll catch my meaning&mdash;for you’re almost as good a
-judge of that sort of thing as I am!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-But Lilian was not to be persuaded.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mamma,” she exclaimed, “why do you allow Audrey to back up those
-wretched men in their attempts to turn poor Norah’s naturally silly
-head? Do you consider that their behaviour this afternoon has been
-creditable either to themselves, or to us, or to you? We are your
-daughters. Can you not insist on our being treated, at any rate while
-we are in your house, with at least the elements of common respect?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mamma assumed what she meant to be her most dignified air. Her remarks
-were intended to be both judicial and crushing.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Lilian, you forget yourself, and me. I have hitherto shown myself
-capable of watching over my daughters, so far as they have permitted
-me to do so. Unfortunately, in some directions, the young women of the
-present day are in advance of their parents. Audrey, I must request
-you not to make foolish remarks to Norah, who has already been placed
-in a sufficiently ridiculous position. Norah, I will not comment at
-this moment on the extremely singular manner in which you have deemed
-it proper to behave. I find it difficult to credit that I have been
-witnessing the conduct of a child of my own. But on that subject I
-shall have plenty to say later; of that you may be sure. In the
-meantime you will be so good as to understand that I positively forbid
-you ever to speak to either of these gentlemen again, or to remain,
-under any circumstances, in a room in which they are. Now you will
-please to leave this room, and retire to your own.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She moved on one side, as if she expected me to march right past her
-then and there. But I didn’t. I put first Mr Carter’s and then Mr
-Purchase’s roses to my nose, and kept on smiling.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Never speak to them again? Mamma, what do you mean?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I mean exactly what I say; and what I say is intelligible even to
-you. Now, go.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But, mamma, I am going to dine with them, and going to the theatre
-with them afterwards.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mamma came a step nearer. She looked very angry indeed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Be careful, Norah, that you don’t go too far.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Too far! Mamma, what do you mean? You heard them ask me, press me
-even&mdash;especially Major Tibbet&mdash;and the arrangements which were made.
-They are coming here in a body at a quarter to seven;&mdash;and you,
-Eveleen, must have noticed how Mr Hammond begged and prayed I wouldn’t
-keep them waiting.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah, let me advise you not to force me to resort to measures which
-you will afterwards have serious cause to regret. Don’t defy me! You
-have not seemed to be a child of mine from the day that you were born.
-You have been a burden to me and your sisters all along. Your conduct
-this afternoon is a climax. The limits of my patience are nearly
-reached. Do as I tell you&mdash;leave this room.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I’ll leave this room with pleasure. After what you have said I’m
-hardly likely to be tempted to remain. But before I go I mean to have
-my say and it’s no use, mamma, your trying to stop me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I stood up, a bunch of roses in either hand; and though mamma looked
-as if she would have liked to annihilate me then and there, I fancy
-there was something in my appearance which persuaded even her that it
-might be advisable, just this once, to let me gang my own queer gait.
-I was so much larger than she was, in every way, that to attempt
-physical coercion would, obviously, be absurd. And it seemed that no
-other measures would avail; so I had my say.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You have it that I have been a burden to you and to the girls. Does
-it not occur to you that there may be another side to that position,
-and that you and the girls have been a burden to me? I suggest it with
-no unfilial intention, or in any spirit of disrespect; but doesn’t it?
-So far back as I can remember you have never treated me as if I seemed
-to be your child. You have thwarted my every wish, tried to force me
-into grooves for which nature has unfitted me, trammelled me wherever
-I sought expansion. You have always held my sisters up to me as models
-of all the virtues&mdash;as I have not the slightest doubt they are&mdash;and
-you have taught them to regard me as half idiot, half monster. I
-readily admit that they have been willing pupils, so that I verily
-believe that you and they have come to look upon me as of different
-flesh and blood than yourselves&mdash;almost as something lower than the
-beasts that grovel. My life, so far, has been an arid waste. I do not
-think that during the whole of it I have known a week’s real
-happiness, which is scant measure when you consider what a good time
-the girls have always had. You must concede that my turn to have a
-good time is nearly due. If you do or don’t, it’s come. I present, my
-dear mamma and sisters, an, I am afraid, unpalatable fact&mdash;that my
-turn to have a good time has come. As Audrey puts it&mdash;I’m a witch.
-I’ve become one in the twinkling of an eye&mdash;just as it happens in the
-fairy tales. You have seen how I bewitched those five men whom you
-have all been so assiduously courting. Yes&mdash;courting; it’s no good any
-of you looking black&mdash;it’s the exact word. In your dexterous,
-delicate, dainty way you’ve all of you courted every man you’ve ever
-met. Now, I never courted any man.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“For reasons,” murmured Eveleen.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yes, Eveleen, for reasons; one of them being that you’ve always done
-your best to make it clear how absurd it would be for me to attempt to
-court any man who was in the least desirable. Yet now these men have
-courted me!&mdash;you’ve seen it with your own eyes!&mdash;to the ruination of
-your tempers! At sight of me they’ve thrown themselves at my head
-before your very faces, pressed on me the offerings which were
-designed for you, implored my acceptance of the seats which you had
-hoped to occupy. And they have left the house, ignoring your
-existence&mdash;as mine has been wont to be ignored; thinking only of me,
-looking forward rapturously to the evening they hope to spend in my
-society. And they shall spend it, too. I’ll sit in all those seats,
-turn and turn about, one after the other; and I’ll be admired by all
-the theatre&mdash;or, at least, by all the men in it. You wait and you
-shall see; or, if you don’t see, afterwards you shall hear. It will
-amuse you hugely, I haven’t the slightest doubt. And I’ll dine with
-them. You know, mamma, that Major Tibbet can be trusted to order a
-dinner; and though I mayn’t do it such justice as you would, I’ll do
-my best. And I should like to see any of you try to stop me. How would
-you propose to do it? Physically, I’m a match for all of you together.
-In a muscular sense, I’m a splendid animal. Compared to me you’re like
-dolls, soft as putty&mdash;you pride yourselves on it!&mdash;while I’m
-comparatively as hard as iron. I could drop you out of the window, one
-after the other, or all together, with the greatest ease.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey touched my arm.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah, don’t talk like that.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am only putting a purely supposititious case, my dearest Audrey.
-What is more, if any of you were to seek to stay me with so much as a
-word, when those men come I’d make my complaint to them; then you’d
-see what it means for a man to be bewitched by a woman. At a word from
-me there’s nothing they would not do. I’ve but to raise my finger, and
-they’d cast what you call decency to the winds. Then you’d see the
-natural man; it would surprise you. They’re just my slaves. And now
-that I have made the position clear to you, and my intentions plain, I
-shall have much pleasure&mdash;in leaving you the room.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I left it. I fancy I left them in rather a curious frame of mind as
-well.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch12">
-CHAPTER XII.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">MISS NORAH’S SOLILOQUY</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">I do</span> not know that I was wholly proud of myself as I went up to my
-room&mdash;not even so proud as I had led those dear creatures in the
-drawing-room to suppose. I imagine I must really be an odd kind of
-creature, because I am not at all sure that it is not vulgar to make
-man, either in a general or particular sense, the entire end and
-object of their existence, as so many women&mdash;who think themselves very
-far from vulgar&mdash;do. To be perfectly frank, I have no opinion whatever
-of man. Perhaps that is because he has none of me. Up to the present,
-he emphatically does not seem to have. But that only places me in the
-position of the onlooker who sees most of the game. I have seen some
-games, I give you my word for it. And I have come to the conclusion
-that man is useful, in his way; generous, sometimes; of service,
-occasionally, as a husband and a father; and that, as a sort of
-courier, or Cook’s conductor, looking after the wants, ways, and whims
-of women, not altogether to be despised. But he is frightfully earthy,
-and has a most amazing conceit of himself. And why so many
-women&mdash;delightful, charming women&mdash;should spend their whole lives in
-endeavouring to please him, and swell with pride when they fancy they
-have succeeded in doing so&mdash;that is beyond my comprehension.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was not so clear as I should like to have been that there was not a
-smack of vulgarity about my passages with those five men. It was
-undeniably vulgar to crow, as if I had done something to crow about;
-and I was uncomfortably conscious of a tendency towards an attitude of
-mind which I should describe as cock-a-doodle. Because, after all,
-what had I done? Simply caused those five men to behave with peculiar
-and unpardonable rudeness to my mother and sisters, and&mdash;well, not too
-nicely towards me. For I could not regard it as a compliment that they
-should hustle each other, and nearly snap each other’s nose off, in
-their eagerness for my society. Or, rather, if it were a compliment,
-it was not the kind I cared for. At least, I did not think it was.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Yet&mdash;it was amusing. Really funny. When I thought how silly and
-awkward those men had looked, and of the nonsense they had talked, and
-of each one’s ridiculous anxiety to appropriate me to himself, I put
-my hands up to my face and laughed. And then mamma’s and the girls’
-faces! their undignified attitudes of disgust, bewilderment, wonder!
-Oh, dear me, how I did laugh! If they had heard me downstairs they
-must have been convinced that my brain really was unhinged at last.
-When I had finished laughing, it did not seem as though I had enjoyed
-the joke enough. I jumped up, picked up the hem of my skirt, and
-jigged about the room. I am big and clumsy, and I daresay I do not
-dance well, but, just then, I danced to please myself. And I pleased
-myself immensely. It was as though I had suddenly become inspired by
-the conviction that I was the most delightful creature in the world.
-It was absurd. I realised at the time it was absurd. But there was the
-conviction, all the same. And if a girl cannot think well of herself
-when she has bowled over five men, as if they were nine-pins, when can
-she? I have known a four foot six woman carry herself as if she were
-six foot four, merely because some whippersnapper of a boy has asked
-her to dance twice in a single evening.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Besides, I was not certain that my estimate of myself was so very
-absurd.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“All the money I have in the world,” I exclaimed aloud, “is
-two-and-eightpence-halfpenny. I would like to bet every farthing of
-it, that if a man&mdash;I don’t care what man, any man&mdash;saw me now he’d
-fall head over heels in love with me at sight.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As I looked in the glass I felt convinced that my money would be
-perfectly safe. I knew it&mdash;was sure of it, in fact. As I observed the
-image which was mirrored there, something told me&mdash;I don’t pretend to
-know what, but something did&mdash;that there was not a man breathing who
-would not desire&mdash;with a pretty strong desire too&mdash;to stand well in
-my&mdash;I will call them on this occasion only&mdash;fair eyes. It was a
-singular feeling, the more so since it amounted to absolute
-conviction. I am not conceited&mdash;my worst enemy has never called me
-that. For one thing, I have never had anything to be conceited about.
-But then I knew, knew! that no man could look at me without desiring
-me. And in my time such numbers of men have looked at me only to wish
-that I was at Jericho, or that they were.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It did seem so odd. And it was a queer sensation. I felt as if I had
-all at once become possessed of some strange, occult, man-compelling
-power. And I believe I had. That unfinished sentence was still upon
-the dressing-table. I picked it up, and looked at it, and wondered.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Something about it caught my eye. Before, it had read, “You shall have
-your wish u&mdash;,” and there had stopped. Since I saw it last an “n” had
-been added; so that it now read, “You shall have your wish un&mdash;.” Was
-the sentence still to be completed? If so, what form would it have in
-its perfect state?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-What had I been wishing? That every man might fall in love with me at
-sight? Well! was that the one which was to be granted? The
-gratification of such a wish could hardly fail to provide one with
-entertainment. And I had had so little entertainment in my time. Was I
-the victim of hallucination? or the heroine of an up-to-date fairy
-tale? It did not matter, so long as the hallucination was substantial
-enough; or the fairy tale as amusing as this one bade fair to be. Let
-me see: the baker’s boy, the shop-walker, the hairdresser, and these
-five men. Unmistakably these persons had suddenly seen attractions in
-me which they had not observed before. To bag eight men during a few
-fleeting minutes of a single forenoon was not bad sport. And the
-miscellaneous character of the bag was not the least satisfactory part
-of it. If matters proceeded as they had begun, there could be no doubt
-whatever that I should be provided with sufficient entertainment.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-In the meantime I must not forget that I was to dine with these five
-gentlemen. It seemed to me to be rather a large order. I never had
-dined with a gentleman except in company with members, feminine
-members, of my own family. And now to be about to dine alone with
-five! And such a five!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I cannot say, whatever may be their feelings towards me, that I am
-the least bit in love with them.” That, to myself, I frankly admitted.
-“As for Major Tibbet, he’s a person for whom I have no kind of use,
-and never should have. Yet it seems that he is to be my principal
-host, at least as far as the dinner is concerned. I should like to
-know what he fancies he likes in me, since I dislike everything he
-likes, himself included. Let’s hope that he won’t go on to the theatre
-with us afterwards. The proceedings at the theatre bid fair to be
-peculiar. Let me figure it out. Mr Carter has a box, and Mr Purchase
-hopes to have one. I wonder what will happen if he finds that there
-isn’t one to be had? Will they come to blows? or will they behave like
-sensible beings, and agree to share a box&mdash;and me? That would
-certainly be the more reasonable course to pursue. Though I quite
-understand that when a man has a box all to himself, and a girl alone
-in it, there are things which he can say with greater ease. I wonder
-where Mr Hammond’s stall is, and Mr Rumford’s. It is devoutly to be
-hoped that they are outside stalls, and that each is not the centre of
-a different row. In that case it must be distinctly understood that
-the transfer of me is to take place at the end of each act, because if
-they attempt to haul me from one stall to another in the middle of a
-scene, there’ll be a scene. Indeed, I think it’s probable there’ll be
-a scene in any case. Because when the people see me being passed from
-one man to another, and the four men who haven’t me glaring at the one
-who has&mdash;and I’m afraid they will glare&mdash;they’ll begin to take an
-interest in what is going on, so that the traffic of the stage may
-suffer. I am convinced that I shall be sufficiently entertained.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-A thought occurred to me, which would have occurred to a sensible girl
-at the very first. But I am not a sensible girl, and in particular I
-was very far from feeling sensible just then! So that it only came to
-me at the tag end, as it were, and then with a sort of a kind of a
-shock.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What shall I wear? There’s the black, and the white, and the blue;
-and they none of them suit me, and they’re all of them old; and I
-believe that each of them stands in need of repairs. So the outlook’s
-promising. Now, if my fairy godmother were to clothe me all over with
-sumptuous raiment, as she did Cinderella, in this the hour of my
-triumph, that would be something like. I’d dazzle them, that I would.
-But as that is not likely to happen, I shall have to consider in which
-of the relics I call my evening gowns I look least beastly.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I spread all three out upon the bed. And I did not like the look of
-either. In fact, I objected vigorously to them all. And I always had
-done, that was the best of it. But until that moment I had not cared
-much; and no one else had cared either; so it had not mattered. I
-picked up the black and turned it round and round.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I believe black tones me down, and I have been told that I need a
-deal of toning, so perhaps to put myself inside it would be
-discretion. But the thing never has fitted me, the bodice holds my
-arms down to my sides like a straight-waistcoat; I’ve torn the skirt
-three times away from the gathers; it’s only clinging to them now with
-the aid of a row of pins. So if anyone were to put his arms about
-me,&mdash;which, of course, isn’t for a moment to be thought of&mdash;but I have
-heard that things do happen! There might be a demand for sticking
-plaster, which I could not possibly supply.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I put down the black, and took up the white.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The last time I wore this thing a man tore about three yards off the
-back and never begged my pardon. It was white; but I think that the
-moment has almost arrived to begin to call it cream, or écru, or,
-perhaps coffee-coloured would be the more appropriate word. If it were
-not that it is all in rags it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a work of art
-getting into it, and when I am in I am never sure how much of me is
-out. In a dress of this sort you want to see both back and front.
-You’re always haunted by the consciousness that other people can,
-although you can’t. I’m afraid it mustn’t be the white; though I’m
-almost sure it’s the one I hate the least.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I proceeded to examine the blue.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Blue suits nearly everyone, except this particular shade of blue,
-which it is impossible to believe suits anyone. I know that when I am
-in it I look my very worst, and that is saying such a deal. I believe
-that that’s why mamma gave it to me. When there’s any article of
-wearing apparel in the house which no one will touch with a pair of
-tongs, it’s presented to me with a flourish, and I’m expected to be
-grateful. They have such a primitive way of regarding the matter! ‘You
-see,’ they say, ‘it’s of no consequence what you wear. You never look
-well in anything. So what difference can it possibly make!’ If I were
-to talk to them like that there’d be a clatter. To-night, at any rate,
-I will not wear the blue.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I tossed it back upon the bed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“For the rest, I’ve a gorgeous pair of scarlet silk stockings, which
-Lilian gave me once, in a fit of frantic generosity, because they were
-miles and miles and miles too big for her. But I haven’t any shoes
-which will go with them. I’ve one fairly decent petticoat, so long as
-you don’t look at it too close. And I’ve a lovely set of undies, I
-bought them myself with my very own money, because they looked so
-scrumptious! which I have never dared to wear. I will wear them if for
-this night only. I don’t think anything else is wanted, in particular.
-Which is just as well. Because I’m sure I haven’t got it if it is. Oh
-for that fairy godmother, and the most becoming things in the very
-latest fashion! Hollo! I wonder if that is the lady?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The query was prompted by the fact that just then there was a smart
-tapping at the door.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Who’s there?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was not a fairy godmother; it was Jane, as was made clear by her
-turning the handle and disclosing herself in the doorway.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If you please, miss, can I be of any use to you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Any use to me? What do you mean?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Well, Miss Norah, I heard that you was going out with them gentlemen;
-so I thought that perhaps you might like me to help you to dress.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I stared. I was unused to the ministrations of a maid, and had
-certainly not expected an offer of the kind from Jane, who was not in
-good odour with the heads of the family. Indeed, mamma was only
-keeping her on, because, under present circumstances, if she did go,
-we should be servantless.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“How did you know that I was going out?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Well, miss, you was all of you talking so loud, and the drawing-room
-door wide open, so that I couldn’t hardly help but hear. If you
-wouldn’t mind, I should like helping you, Miss Norah. If you’ll excuse
-my saying so, you never do seem to make the best of yourself somehow.
-In my last place there was two young ladies, and I used to help them
-often.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Jane had a free and easy way of speaking which suggested that in some
-of the places she had been in the servants had been permitted
-liberties. But I had a feeling that she was not a bad sort in her way.
-And then so few people ever do offer to do anything for me, that when
-anyone does I find it nearly impossible to refuse to let them.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really, Jane, I don’t see how you can be of use to me. I’ve only a
-lot of old things to wear, which I’ve worn dozens and dozens of times
-before, and anyone could put them on blindfold.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Pardon me, Miss Norah, but that’s just where you’re mistaken, as, if
-you’ll allow me, I very soon will show you. There’s a way of putting
-on even old things which will almost make people think that you’ve
-never had them on before. Your sisters, now, work wonders. They can
-make the same thing look as if it was twenty. I’m sure that I’ve often
-thought to myself that if they ever was to turn lady’s maids to a lady
-as wanted to make a large show on a little money, they’d be worth any
-amount, they would. I’ve never know anyone who made one dress to
-behave as if it was half-a-dozen, like they can.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was not sure that I relished her manner of expressing herself. And
-when I recalled the spectacle she had herself presented on certain
-occasions when I had witnessed her sallying forth on her Sundays out,
-I was inclined to be more than dubious as to her capacity to make the
-best of me. Yet she seemed, too, so anxious to be of service, and so
-convinced that I should find her assistance of the greatest value,
-that I had not the heart to send her packing.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Though I am nearly confident that I should have been wiser if I had.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch13">
-CHAPTER XIII.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">JANE</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">Jane’s</span> remarks, as she turned my wardrobe over and over, commenting
-on it critically as she did so, made it almost as clear as possible
-that in accepting her assistance I had been guilty of an indiscretion.
-Considering the position in which she was supposed to stand towards me
-there was a frankness about her which I felt was unbecoming.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Well, you haven’t got much to wear, and that’s a fact, look at it how
-you may; and what you have got I’ve seen you in till I should think
-you was sick of the sight; not that they amounted to anything, even
-when they was new.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As I was about to point out, with some severity, that observations of
-that kind were not likely to assist me to any material extent, she
-branched off at a tangent.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I was never out with five gentlemen all at once, not myself I wasn’t.
-The most I was ever out with was three; and as two of them started
-fighting before we’d gone very far you couldn’t hardly call that a
-success. They knocked each other about something cruel&mdash;at least, so I
-was given to understand. So far as I was concerned, I never so much as
-spoke to them again. Because I always have held, and always shall
-hold, that when two gentlemen start fighting about a lady out in the
-open street, right before her very eyes, as it were, they aren’t
-gentlemen&mdash;no, and never won’t be neither.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Though open to admit that her sentiments might do her credit, I could
-not perceive their application to the subject in hand. As I was about
-to drop a hint to that effect, she returned, with a frankness which I
-again found slightly embarrassing, to the subject of clothes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, about underneath. I hold that’s it’s no good having a smart gown
-on if there’s nothing but rags inside. When a party lifts a scarlet
-satin skirt to show a torn petticoat, and, perhaps, an odd pair of
-stockings what’s all holes, she might fancy herself, but I never
-should. I say if it must be a torn petticoat, put it on outside, and
-the satin skirt underneath, it would be less deceiving. Now, miss,
-what was you thinking of wearing?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Jane had not a delicate touch. She framed her inquiries with a
-directness which was a little appalling. I explained&mdash;to her
-satisfaction. She was even pleased to be enthusiastic.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, if you could only wear them outside, and them wretched, shabby
-old dresses underneath, that would be something like. It’s a pity,
-miss, you can’t. Things like them is not meant to be hidden. About
-them scarlet stockings. As it just happens, I’ve got a pair of scarlet
-shoes. They was given me by a lady friend for whom they was too large,
-and they’re a bit too big for me. But they’re about the shade; and I
-should think, with a little management, they might fit you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Some persons might resent such a remark as that. It did not sound
-complimentary. But I am too well aware that I am, in all respects,
-beyond the ordinary size of a woman, to be much affected by allusions
-to the fact. What I did not relish was the notion of getting into
-shoes which had been transferred from that lady friend to Jane. I
-wondered dimly what mamma and the girls would say, if it ever came to
-their ears that such a suggestion had been made. But Jane would listen
-to nothing. She seemed to have made up her mind to see me through&mdash;and
-see me through she would. Off she went to get those shoes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-So soon as she was gone I meditated a plan for preventing her return.
-I did not want her shoes, and I did not want her assistance either. I
-was beginning to be fearful that I should be a bigger fright with her
-aid than without it. Had there been a key in the door, it would have
-been easy. But there was not. My bedroom lacked a good many things,
-one of them being a means of securing it against intruders. It was at
-the top of the house, right away from the others, on the same floor as
-the servants’; so that Jane had but to slip through my door, and
-across to hers.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I did think of putting my foot against the door, and keeping her out
-like that; but it would have been a brusque method of proceeding, and
-might have hurt her feelings. After all, she meant well; and, as I
-have said, so few people ever did mean well towards me, that I found
-it exceedingly difficult to thwart them when the mood was on them.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Some minutes elapsed before Jane returned. When she did, I was really
-not in a condition of costume to offer effective resistance of any
-kind. Time was passing. Mr Hammond had emphasised his request that I
-would not keep them waiting, but that I would be ready at a quarter to
-seven; so I was beginning to make as much haste as I could. Besides, I
-had a sort of feeling that it might be just as well to get through, at
-least, the initiatory stages, before Jane appeared; her observations
-did lean so strongly towards the side of candour.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When she entered I was conscious of what I believe people call a
-qualm, though just what kind of qualm it was, I am not prepared to
-positively assert. She had not only in her hands a pair of scarlet
-shoes, but her arms were heaped up with what I had an intuitive
-perception were assorted specimens of her wardrobe. Did she propose to
-array me in her splendours? Was I to sally forth with five gentlemen
-to dinner in Jane’s attire? Were her clothes to flit from seat to seat
-in the Gaiety Theatre? Did she suppose that any of them would fit me;
-I was a head taller than she was? Her figure was what I should have
-described as weedy; I daresay she considered it elegant. My chest was
-as broad as a grenadier’s&mdash;horribly broad! Were not mamma and the
-girls intimately acquainted with nearly every article of clothing I
-possessed? Would they not instantly detect upon me the presence of an
-unaccustomed thing? Would not inquiries be promptly instituted as to
-where I got it from? Could I answer&mdash;Jane?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That she was totally without suspicion that such questions could be
-chasing each other through my bosom, her observations quickly showed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I think that, between us, miss, we shall make you look something
-like.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I had no doubt of that whatever; it was that which racked me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It isn’t often that you do go out with five gentlemen, all at once,
-nor anyone else, for the matter of that; so that when you do go, it’s
-just as well that them five gentlemen should know that they’ve got
-someone with ’em as everyone was looking at.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was not so sure of that, by any means. Momentarily it was becoming
-clearer that Jane’s point of view was scarcely mine.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“A gentleman friend of mine, he likes colour&mdash;pink especial. He’d like
-to see me pink from head to foot, winter and summer, though for winter
-it always seems to me to be a trifle cool. I got that hat to suit him.
-Now, that’s what I call striking!” She held out the article in front
-of her. “If you try it on, you’ll find it’ll stand out on you. You try
-it on, Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I try it on!&mdash;Jane’s hat!&mdash;That hat! A shiver went all over me, which
-was not caused by my being at the moment lightly clad. Fortunately, I
-was not compelled to go to quite those limits, there was a loophole
-for escape.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You forget, Jane, that I shall not wear a hat, so I’m afraid it will
-be no use for me to try it on, especially as time is getting short.
-Though it’s awfully good of you to suggest it; I’m sure that in that
-hat I should look striking.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was sure. It was a pink silk article, of the picture variety, with a
-big brilliant pink bow ornamenting it in front, and a huge pink
-feather running round it, and then drooping over the side. If I went
-out with that on my head, even the omnibus drivers would make remarks.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Jane seemed to regret my unwillingness to try it on. Possibly, my
-disinclination to avail myself of her offer did not synchronise with
-her notions of feminine human nature.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I was forgetting, miss, as how you could not wear a hat. It seems a
-pity. I suppose it couldn’t be managed.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am afraid not. You see, I could hardly wear it at dinner; and if I
-did, they wouldn’t let me into the theatre with it afterwards.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She laid that nightmare in bilious pink on one side, with a sigh.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It do seem a pity, it really do! In that hat you’d be noticeable if
-you was with fifty gentlemen, let alone with five.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was convinced of it. I told her so.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s tremendously nice of you to wish to eke out my odds and ends
-with your lovely things, Jane; but all the same I know I shouldn’t do
-justice to them, and I think I’d better stick to what is my own.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And that’s where you’re wrong, miss&mdash;begging your pardon for saying
-so. Now, there’s a tri-coloured sash. I got it when there was them
-patriotic goings on, me having a cousin in the militia what got
-invalided home owing to his drinking habits. That’s something like a
-sash, that is. You wear it over your shoulder like them Oddfellows&mdash;I
-had a uncle what was one till he got three months for knocking his
-wife about. After that he joined the Salvation Army for a change&mdash;and
-then you tie it round your waist, and let it hang. It’s a foot wide,
-and there’s seven yards of it, so there’s plenty for hanging. It would
-show off one of them shabby old dresses of yours, that it would.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I realise the truth of this. Still&mdash;it was so very showy. The red hit
-you in the eye, the blue was another case of the wrong shade, the
-white, one could but hope, had seen whiter days. I could not see my
-way to imitating the Oddfellows and letting it hang. I broke it to her
-as gently as I was able.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It is showy. Certainly no one could help noticing me if I did have it
-on.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I’d defy ’em.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“So would I. But I’m thinking of wearing my black; and, do you know,
-Jane, I’m inclined to believe that the less colour I wear the better.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I believe in colour; it lights you up.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yes; it lights you up, but it would make me flare. You see, you have
-such a much more delicate figure than I have.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I have been told that I’ve a delicate figure, and it’s no use my
-denying it. Still, I say this of colour&mdash;for everyone&mdash;it makes ’em
-stand out.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It does. You’re quite right. Especially a red, white, and blue sash.
-There’s not a doubt of it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And what I say is, a woman wants to stand out, unless she’s a mere
-worm, and goodness knows that I’m no worm. The more she stands out the
-more she’s noticed&mdash;and, if she’s any opinion of herself, as she ought
-to have, notice is what she wants. Now here is something tasty&mdash;and
-full dress. That’s a opera cloak, that is, green silk with yellow
-stripes. That’s beaver trimming round the edges&mdash;real beaver. It’s a
-bit rusty here and there, but nothing to signify. I call it handsome.
-It was left to me by an aunt what died. She went about a good deal in
-society; her husband being a scene painter, and getting her orders for
-the theatre constant. Nights together she’d sit in the middle of the
-front row of the stalls in that very cloak, especially when business
-was a bit slack and they wanted the theatre to seem crowded as it
-were. Because, as I’ve been given to understand, people what pays
-won’t go to the theatre unless you can make ’em believe that they
-can’t get in. My aunt got to be known by that cloak. ‘The lady with
-the green silk opera-cloak with yellow stripes and beaver trimming’
-they used to speak of her as. I’ve only worn it myself two or three
-times, to dances and such like. Now it would set you off, that would.
-It’s a little short, perhaps, for you; but I’m told that they’re
-wearing them short just now.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It would scarcely have covered my shoulders; but there was a good deal
-too much of it, for all that.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Are they? You evidently are better posted in the fashions, Jane, than
-I am.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I take in two fashion-books myself&mdash;leastways, there are fashions in
-them&mdash;and see seven.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do you? That explains it. It’s a wonderful cloak; but I have a cloak
-of my own, though it isn’t much of a one, and I really think I ought
-to wear it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There’s no ought about it, if you’ll excuse my saying so. You can
-wear my opera cloak, if you like, miss, and welcome.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You’re very, very good, Jane. Suppose we wait till I have finished
-dressing, and then see how it goes.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Very well, miss; as you please. But there’s one thing you’ll have to
-wear, and that’s those scarlet shoes. You told me yourself that you’d
-a pair of scarlet stockings, but no shoes to match ’em; so, as far as
-wearing these goes, it’s a case of have to.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Apparently it was. The scarlet shoes in question never had been of
-first-rate quality, and they were not exactly new. It seemed as if the
-“lady friend” had given them a fair trial before handing them on to
-Jane. But they were still presentable, and, plainly, in Jane’s
-opinion, beyond the possibility of reproach. I had refused her hat,
-her sash, her cloak. I had not the heart to add her shoes to the list
-of my refusals,&mdash;at any rate, without giving them a trial. And it was
-soon made clear that Jane’s ideas on the subject of a trial were
-thorough. I got into the stockings, but getting into the shoes was
-quite a different thing. She pushed, and I pushed; but the scarlet
-shoes continued to show reluctance to make the acquaintance of my
-feet. As usual, she commented on the fact in her somewhat painfully
-plain-spoken fashion.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really, Miss Norah, you’ve got a man’s foot&mdash;you really have. Reminds
-me of a cousin of mine who always used to have his boots made
-specially for him, all on account of their saying that it took two
-pairs of anybody else’s boots to make him one. Used to work on a farm,
-he did, which, I have been told, causes the feet to spread.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t believe, Jane, it is that which has extended mine!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s sure and certain something must have; because never before did I
-see so large a foot upon a lady’s leg, except my grandmother, what
-went off with dropsy, so that, when she died, her feet was like
-pumpkins. But these shoes have got to go on somehow, or else I’ll know
-the reason why.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was not necessary for her to institute any inquiry into recondite
-causes&mdash;the shoes went on. With difficulty, it is true, but still they
-went. And being on, they proved to be not so tight as they might have
-been&mdash;that is, considering. When I think of some of the shoes into
-which my feet have been compressed, Jane’s might have been regarded as
-almost loose. She regarded the fruits of her labours with an air of
-triumph.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No mistake, you do fill them.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I do. It has been my unfortunate experience, on several occasions, to
-have filled my shoes a little too completely.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Can you walk in them?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I stood up to try. I found that I could, at present. Whether, after
-having worn them for an hour or two, locomotion might not become more
-difficult, was another story altogether.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I shouldn’t care to do a ten-mile tramp in them; but I think I can
-manage to do all the walking that’s likely to be required.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-If the principal pedestrian exercise which I was likely to have to
-undergo consisted in passing from seat to seat at the Gaiety Theatre,
-I ought to be equal to that. Having once succeeded in getting me into
-her shoes, Jane became positively laudatory.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“They look a fair treat&mdash;they do that; what with the stockings and the
-shoes together. They’re such a perfect match; you couldn’t have
-matched ’em better, not if you’d gone to a shop to do it.” That was
-true enough. “And you’re well-shaped, even if you are an extra size.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That also, from the bottom of my heart, I believed to be true; and, in
-my moments of most extreme despondency, I was wont to hug the
-conviction to my bosom. My feet might be large, but then I was large
-all over; they were not disproportionate; and I am almost convinced
-that, as Jane put it, they were well-shaped. Indeed, I will go
-further, and express my opinion that generally I am well-shaped. My
-limbs are as well moulded as any girl’s need be. I do not see why it
-should be such a tremendous drawback because the mould happened to be
-a little bit Titanic.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I bent down&mdash;I had to bend some distance&mdash;and I kissed Jane.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You’re tremendously good to me, and I thank you awfully for lending
-me these very pretty shoes.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-To my amazement, she burst out crying!
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch14">
-CHAPTER XIV.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">A QUARTER TO SEVEN</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">At</span> a quarter to seven we were still in what I should describe as the
-throes. I daresay that sentence is not perfect English, but it is
-exactly what I mean; and, so long as you have that, what does it
-matter?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Jane had made such a mess of her crying, and I had found it so
-difficult to make out what the ridiculous creature was crying about;
-but it seemed that her young man had spoken to her with freezing
-coldness that very afternoon, and that, combined with the excitement
-of the discovery that, as she phrased it, I had put mamma’s and the
-girls’ noses “out of joint,” by walking off with their five young
-men&mdash;though you could hardly describe Major Tibbet as young&mdash;and the
-agitation occasioned her by my kissing her all of a sudden, had
-brought her to such a stage that she had to do it. So she did it,
-although, with all my heart, I wish she hadn’t.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Her tears, and my efforts to understand their why and their wherefore,
-confused things dreadfully. Some of my things we got on inside out and
-some we did not get on at all. When we came to my hair, it was awful.
-We spent about twenty minutes in getting it into a mess, and
-half-an-hour in getting it out; Jane’s ideas on the subject of
-hairdressing were so original, and, when it came to the point, quite
-impracticable. At last, when it seemed to me that it must nearly all
-have been torn out by the roots, and my scalp was sore all over, we
-were confronted by the fact that we had about two seconds in which to
-make a satisfactory job of it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-So then I took it in hand myself. I had had enough of Jane. I just
-gave it a twirl and a twist, and jabbed six hairpins into it, and it
-had to do. Jane’s opinion of the result was not enthusiastic.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Well, miss, I can’t say I think much of it&mdash;that I can’t. Looks as if
-you’d tried to make as little of it as you possibly could. In fact,
-you’ve screwed it that tight, it seems as if you hadn’t hardly any
-hair at all.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“When one comes to think of the handfuls you’ve pulled out, Jane&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah! I have not pulled out handfuls! It’s not fair to talk
-like that&mdash;that it’s not.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then half-handfuls, if you prefer it, Jane. Just look at that heap of
-hair upon my dressing-table; quite recently it was all upon my head.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I’m sure, miss, I’m very sorry. I never thought you’d take it like
-this. I didn’t mean&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s all right, Jane. What do a few hairs, more or less, matter?
-For goodness’ sake, don’t start crying again. Help me on with my
-bodice; and don’t try to induce me to put my right arm into the left
-sleeve.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As I have said, at a quarter to seven, we were still in the throes. It
-was a few seconds before that time when there came a loud rat-tat at
-the hall door. I quite jumped.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There they are!” I cried; “and I’m not ready!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That you certainly are not, miss; nor nearly.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t know about nearly. I only have to be done up this side, and
-put something round my neck, and get my gloves on; and then I shall be
-ready.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Jane surveyed me through her tear-dimmed eyes, screwing up her lips in
-a way she had.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Well, miss, there’s ready and there’s ready. If I was going out to
-dine with five gentlemen, I shouldn’t think that I was nearly ready;
-not by a good deal, I shouldn’t. To me, considering, it don’t seem as
-if you had hardly got anything on.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There came some more hammering at the door; apparently those gentlemen
-were impatient.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s no good talking like that now. You must go down and let them in.
-I shall have to manage.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Jane’s manner was a mixture of resignation and acidity.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Very well, miss; as you please, miss. I’m sure I’ve done my best; I
-couldn’t do no more.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I felt convinced of it as she retired. Indeed, I had rather she had
-done less. Scarcely had she disappeared than Audrey entered. I stared,
-expecting that she was going to favour me with a few candid
-criticisms. But no one could have been nicer.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Well, child”&mdash;considering our relative sizes, the way in which they
-will persist in calling me child, is grotesque&mdash;“are you dressed for
-the great occasion? So Jane has been giving you the benefit of her
-assistance.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There was a smile on her face which made me feel for Jane.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s very good of her. She doesn’t seem to have much idea. She
-doesn’t pretend to be a lady’s maid; but she’s done her best.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-In a comprehensive sort of way, Audrey looked me up and down. I felt
-as if every one of my weak points was hitting her in the face.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Candidly, Norah, you are a difficult child to dress. The mode and you
-will ever be at variance. You must have a mode of your own. You are
-like Michael Angelo’s statues&mdash;on the grand lines.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t know why you need laugh at me. I can’t help it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I’m not laughing. On the contrary, I’m not sure that if you were
-clothed, as you might be, that you wouldn’t be splendid.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Audrey!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But that is not an ideal dress for you; and you don’t seem as if you
-knew how to get into it, if it were. Come down to my room; let me add
-a touch or two to Jane’s.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-At that moment Jane returned.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If you please, miss, them five gentlemen have come for you; and Mr
-Hammond’s compliments, and he hopes that you won’t keep them waiting.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey looked at her quickly.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Did Mr Hammond send that message?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yes, miss; them was his own words.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey turned to me, with a laugh that was half in earnest.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If I were you, Norah, I should return a message to Mr Hammond to the
-effect that he need not wait.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I hesitated, then spoke:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you, Jane; there is no message.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When we got into Audrey’s room&mdash;she was awfully particular about
-keeping it all to herself, scarcely letting me inside it twice a
-year&mdash;I thought, as I always did, how pretty it was, especially
-compared to mine&mdash;she said something which took me aback.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah, I want to ask you a favour.” I stared at her askance. “Don’t
-suffer these gentlemen to be impertinent.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“As if I should! Do you think they’d dare?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Child, don’t blaze. I don’t know what has got into men’s heads to
-make them mad; but I wouldn’t allow them to act as if you took their
-madness for granted. That message of Mr Hammond’s was not a very
-pretty one.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I will make him smart for it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do. A little smarting does some men much good.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Her slender fingers, moving about me here and there, worked wonders
-with my appearance. She lent me ribbons, laces, those odds and ends
-which a girl must have if she wants to be finished properly. And they
-were just the proper odds and ends, the delicate trifles which cost
-such lots of money. As I saw her handiwork in the looking-glass, I
-perceived that she was making me quite presentable.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I should like to take down your hair and do it all over again; but
-I’m afraid there isn’t time.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I’m sure there isn’t. I don’t want to keep them waiting.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear, you’re inexperienced. Don’t allow yourself to be influenced
-by any consideration of that kind; especially after the message which
-Mr Hammond permitted himself to request Jane to deliver. With some
-men, the worse you treat them, the better they treat you. ‘’Tis true,
-’tis pity; but pity ’tis, ’tis true.’ By the way, these gentlemen seem
-violently drawn towards you; are you equally drawn towards them?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not I.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not towards any one of them?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not towards any one of them. Shall I tell you what I think of them? I
-think&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Ssh! I don’t think that, perhaps, you had better tell me what you
-think. It might be over&mdash;candid.” She smiled up at me in a way which
-made her look a perfect dream of loveliness. “Besides&mdash;they’re not
-all&mdash;ganders.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Basil Carter isn’t&mdash;at least, I never should have guessed it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Nor I. It’s rather odd that we should be of the same mind upon that
-subject. There, now you look a little better; though, I tell you
-again, that you’re a difficult child to dress. Yet it might be worth
-one’s while to fashion for you a mode of your own. You are so&mdash;very
-splendid.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Audrey, I do wish that you wouldn’t laugh at me!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I repeat that I am not laughing. I don’t know, Norah O’Brady, if you
-are aware how excellent an opportunity you are about to have to show
-how badly you can behave. One girl&mdash;five men, each of them wishing the
-others were in Heaven. What a chance you’ll have of trampling on what
-they flatter themselves are their tenderest feelings. If you’re a
-sister of mine, trample on them, Norah, an you love me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I’ll try.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“At least, do try. Let me whisper in your ear. Above all,
-trample&mdash;with your heaviest tramp&mdash;on Basil Carter&mdash;not only on his
-feelings, but, if opportunity offers, on his very self. I’m much
-afraid that he’s the biggest gander of them all&mdash;and, Norah, I didn’t
-think so once.”
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch15">
-CHAPTER XV.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">TRAMPLING UPON FIVE</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">I cannot</span> truthfully say that I felt exactly proud of myself as I
-marched down to the drawing-room. I met Eveleen coming up as I went
-down, and she looked flurried; then I met Lilian, and she looked more
-flurried still; and, lastly, at the foot of the stairs, mamma.
-Something told me that all three of them had been in the drawing-room
-to try to bring those men to a consciousness of shame. There was that
-in their bearing which hinted that they had not succeeded. Eveleen
-suggested a desire to shake me; Lilian an inclination to bite my nose
-off; and as for mamma, she received me in a state of fluster which
-spoke volumes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You understand, Norah, that I have forbidden you to disgrace me, and
-I forbid you again!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was just in a mood to melt, and had mamma adopted another tone, or
-even appealed to me to leave her Major Tibbet, I am nearly sure I
-should have melted. But when she spoke to me like that, of course,
-needles came out all over me, and I smiled as sweetly as I knew how.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Disgrace you, mamma? Why it was not necessary to forbid me to do
-that. I am sure you have brought me up too carefully to think it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Somehow my soft answer did not seem to turn away mamma’s wrath.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t be impertinent, miss! I command you to go into that room and
-dismiss those men!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Certainly, mamma; if you will come with me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She wavered, apparently she had just gone through a little passage in
-which she had been worsted.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I will come with you, but no nonsense, mind; without any unnecessary
-words you will dismiss them at once and finally.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was just about to open the drawing-room door for mamma to enter,
-when Audrey came flying down the staircase. It certainly did seem,
-judging by the very first words she uttered, that she had been
-listening over the banisters.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Norah, stop! Mamma, don’t be unreasonable. Let her go!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mamma stared. “Let her go! Alone! With those five men! After the way
-in which they have behaved! Audrey, are you mad?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really, mamma, to hear you talk one would think that none of us had
-ever been out with gentlemen alone. What harm will they do her? She’ll
-be as safe with them as she would with you. I’m sure they can be
-trusted. As the child says, she hasn’t had much fun; let her enjoy the
-streak that’s come her way. Now, Norah, in you go, and remember what I
-told you, trample on them for all you’re worth! And have a really good
-time, my dear! And, mamma, you come upstairs with me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She pulled me down to her, and kissed me. We were not a kissing
-family&mdash;most emphatically not among ourselves! And to be kissed by
-Audrey, at such a moment! It had almost the same effect on me which
-mine had on Jane; only fortunately I had more sense than she had, and
-could exercise some self-control.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mamma went up the stairs with Audrey, as meek as a lamb&mdash;everybody
-gives in to Audrey&mdash;and I went into the drawing-room, conscious of a
-strong, and most unwonted disposition to be peacocky.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They rushed at me the moment I showed my nose inside the door&mdash;all
-five.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You have kept us waiting,” began Mr Hammond. “I said at a quarter-to,
-sharp!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And with dinner ordered punctually at seven,” went on the Major. “And
-with fish which will resent an instant’s delay.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I resolved to put a stop to that sort of thing at once. I waved them
-back with Audrey’s fan&mdash;she had lent me a beautiful black one, real
-lace. I felt equal to five thousand men at least, and quite capable of
-acting on the hint which she had dropped.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Please don’t come so close. I don’t like being crowded.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Hammond proceeded to push the others back with his huge arms.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, you fellows, you annoy Miss Norah!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I caught his eye, and held it, in a fashion which, I fancy, caused him
-some slight embarrassment.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mr Hammond, you sent me a message by the maid.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“A message? Really? Me? I may have done.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You expressed a desire that I should not keep you waiting. I do not
-wish to do so. Please don’t wait.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah!&mdash;I&mdash;I don’t understand.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I say, please don’t wait. Shall I ask Mr Carter to ring for the maid
-to open the door?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-His jaw dropped open. He displayed such unmistakeable signs of
-confusion, as well as contrition, that I proceeded to forgive him, in
-my own way.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am not accustomed to being requested by gentlemen not to keep them
-waiting. Those whose acquaintance I care to have are only too glad to
-consider my convenience, they never dream of expecting me to consider
-theirs.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was a dreadful story. And a horrid thing to say as well. But
-Audrey’s words were in my ears, I was bent on trampling. I had been
-trampled on so long.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“So, if for any reason whatever you feel disposed to ask me to
-consider your convenience, pray say so at once, and Mr Carter will
-ring for the maid to open the door.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Never was man more profusely apologetic. To see him cringing&mdash;it
-really amounted to cringing&mdash;was a novel sensation for me. Never had a
-man apologised to me before&mdash;at least, to the best of my recollection
-and belief.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am sure, Miss Norah, I beg ten thousand pardons. Nothing further
-from my mind than to consider myself, in any way; only too proud and
-happy to be allowed to consider you; quite a mistake if anything can
-have induced you to suppose the contrary. Fact is, I was thinking of
-the Major’s dinner.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The Major’s dinner? What about the Major’s dinner?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“He ordered it at seven.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Did he? And how does that interest you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It doesn’t&mdash;not at all!&mdash;not in the slightest!&mdash;not in the very least
-degree!&mdash;do assure you! Might I&mdash;might I venture to hope, Miss Norah,
-that you&mdash;you&mdash;you’ll do me the honour of accepting these few
-flowers?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Thereupon they all came crowding round me again, each with a floral
-offering.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Did I not ask you not to come too close? I do not care to be
-conscious of another person’s proximity.” They slunk back, like dogs
-before a whip. “I see, Mr Hammond, that you have camellias. I don’t
-like camellias. I think they’re vulgar. You might put them on the
-table. Nor do I care for stephanotis, I am obliged to you, Major
-Tibbet. Thank you, Mr Rumford, I have had some roses given me this
-afternoon, already. You might put them with the other flowers on the
-table. You are very good, Mr Purchase, but obviously Parma violets do
-not go with black. They suggest mourning. You can hardly wish me to go
-into mourning at the prospect of spending part of an evening with you.
-I am not sure, Mr Carter, that I care for lilies-of-the-valley either.
-They are not quite so bad as camellias, but they are a little wooden.
-Don’t you think so? Stay! Let me look at them. After all, they do go
-with black. Perhaps I will wear them, since there is nothing else to
-wear.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Even in my then mood it did seem incredible that they should endure my
-impertinence&mdash;worse, my ingratitude&mdash;and never show a sign of
-resentment. But something seemed to tell me that I might say and do
-exactly what I pleased, and they would still crouch at my feet, ready
-to endure anything rather than that I should not notice them at all. I
-was beginning, already, to understand what it is which makes a woman
-love the sense of power, the consciousness of being able to do as she
-likes with men. As is the case, I have heard, with some beggars on
-horseback, I was disposed to ride my steed for all it was worth, with
-cruel and scandalous disregard of the possibility of the poor brute’s
-breaking down upon the road.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Pulling Mr Carter’s carefully-arranged little nosegay to pieces I
-tossed some of the lilies aside and pinned the rest against my
-bodice&mdash;the five watching me with a queer sort of speechlessness,
-which nearly moved me to laughter.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, let me understand what the programme is for this evening. Aren’t
-we to have some dinner?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Major Tibbet held both hands out in front of him as he replied:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I have ordered dinner at the King’s Restaurant&mdash;a sumptuous dinner,
-Miss Norah&mdash;at seven&mdash;exactly! It is already a quarter past&mdash;it will
-be spoilt!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Will it? Then we will dine elsewhere.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Dine elsewhere?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Certainly. Where we are not likely to encounter black looks, and
-excuses, because we choose to be a little late.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But&mdash;I shall have to pay in any case.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Shall you? Mr Rumford, where do you propose that we shall dine?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He displayed a feeling for his fellow of which I chose to show myself
-incapable.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Well, Miss Norah, I gathered that the Major had arranged to dine at
-the King’s.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“At seven. But we can’t eat a seven-o’clock dinner at half-past; we
-want to have something fit to eat. Have you nothing, Mr Hammond, to
-suggest?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I suggest, Miss Norah, what you suggest&mdash;absolutely. Entirely in your
-hands&mdash;only too delighted.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And you, Mr Purchase, what do you say?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I would remind you, Miss Norah, that you accepted Major Tibbet’s
-invitation to dine at the King’s.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Indeed! When you are a little older, Mr Purchase, you will learn that
-women sometimes change their minds.” He was about ten years older than
-I was, and had perhaps had ten times as much experience; but those
-were trifles light as air. “Are you void of ideas, Mr Carter?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You must dine at the King’s Restaurant, Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Must? You use rather an odd word. Must?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Perhaps I had better have said that you will dine at the King’s
-Restaurant, Miss Norah. Having made an engagement, a lady keeps it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-After the way in which he&mdash;indeed, in which they all&mdash;had behaved, the
-idea of his talking to me like that was good. Taking no notice of him,
-whatever, I crossed to Mr Hammond.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You appear to be the most agreeable and obliging person present. Will
-you give me some dinner at Dupont’s? I never have dined at Dupont’s,
-but have often thought that I should like to.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Too charmed&mdash;only too charmed!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you so much. These gentlemen can dine with Major Tibbet at the
-King’s, where we’ll hope that they’ll enjoy their meal.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I took the arm which Mr Hammond offered, and the others came rushing
-to the front. Mr Carter, in particular, was most eloquent.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah, what have we done that you should desert us? You promised
-that you would be our guest&mdash;our co-guest.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I put into my voice and words as much impertinence as I possibly
-could.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I like your manners so little that I really cannot fancy you as one
-of my hosts, Mr Carter.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I only ventured to remind you that you had accepted&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No excuses, or explanations; I dislike both. If I consent to still
-suffer you near me, please understand that to-night I am above the
-law. My whims are to be paramount; my most transitory wish your chief
-desire. I may change my mind a hundred times; each time you’re at once
-to change yours too. Nor are you to so much as hint that I was ever in
-another mind. It does not follow because I tell Mr Hammond that I’ll
-dine with him at Dupont’s that I will&mdash;or that I’ll dine at all. In
-five minutes I may be in fifty moods. If you desire to question any
-one of them, please do not inflict your company on me. It is not the
-manner which I care for in a host of mine. Mr Hammond, at the present
-moment I am disposed to dine with you at Dupont’s. If these gentlemen
-choose, and know how to behave, it may be that they can dine there
-too.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I went out of the room on Mr Hammond’s arm. The others came after us,
-with faces which were a little black. It was just possible that Major
-Tibbet was thinking of the bill which he would have to pay for the
-uneaten dinner at the King’s Restaurant. I have heard that for quite
-ordinary repasts their charges were enormous. Under the circumstances
-it could not have been pleasant for him to reflect that he had
-commanded them to do their very best.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch16">
-CHAPTER XVI.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE DINNER WHICH FAILED</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">It</span> was rather a shock to discover that I was expected to travel with
-those five men in an omnibus. It was one of the private sort, and
-there were two men in livery; but it was an omnibus. I quite started
-when I got outside the front-door and saw it there.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Dear me!” I exclaimed. “Am I supposed to ride in an omnibus? I can’t
-bear omnibuses.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Hammond was inclined to stammer.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s&mdash;it’s&mdash;it’s a private omnibus.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Is it? How interesting. Am I intended to consider that fact
-interesting? Was I expected to take it for granted that I should be
-required to ride in a public omnibus, among the penny fares?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Hammond was inclined to stammer still more.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Fact is, six rather awkward number&mdash;never heard of a carriage that
-would hold them all.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Two might have gone on the box, or even three. Then there is such a
-thing as a coach. A coach holds six.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Coach and four?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Or even a coach and three, if four was considered extravagant.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Idea of coaching to dinner in town never struck me. Don’t know why.
-Sporting notion&mdash;very. Afraid it would take some time to get one now.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Since you were so careless as not to have one ready, I cannot
-possibly wait while you repair your negligence. I must endeavour to
-make the best of your private omnibus.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It is some distance from Kensington to Dupont’s Restaurant&mdash;which is,
-of course, in Regent Street&mdash;so that it took some time to drive. I do
-not know what kind of thing those five men had been looking forward
-to, but it was some satisfaction to feel that I was making each one of
-them about as uncomfortable as he could be made. I was in a pretty
-mood&mdash;I really was. It was amazing that they did not get out in a
-body, and leave me to occupy that omnibus all by myself. I had heard
-of what men will endure from some women. I had an object-lesson then.
-I knew, somehow, that it made no difference how I treated them. They
-would still be my humble, obedient, devoted slaves. When a girl has
-that feeling, for the very first time, it is a little tempting.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I decided that they were not a bad good-looking crowd. No girl need be
-ashamed of being seen with them. Mr Carter and Mr Purchase were
-distinctly handsome&mdash;though they were looking glum. Walter Hammond was
-not so bad, though he was lanky. As he would himself have phrased it,
-there was a sporting something about him of the right sort. Then his
-clothes fitted him as mine never would fit me; and when he had his
-eyeglass in his eye he looked quite striking. Mr Rumford was a trifle
-puffy, and he suggested trade&mdash;though nothing quite so bad as Aunt
-Jane’s Jalap. But then he was so plainly redolent of money that he
-passed muster. And then Major Tibbet was obviously someone&mdash;if only
-because he looked such a little horror.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Conversation languished. That was owing to me. When we had gone some
-distance Mr Rumford took out his watch.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am afraid we shall be late for the theatre. Piece begins at eight.
-Half-past seven now.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I presume that we have reserved seats. As they will be retained for
-us it doesn’t matter what time we occupy them.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Quite so&mdash;only, it disturbs the audience going in in the middle of
-the piece.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That remark, from me, put a period to that topic. It made it so clear
-that to me it was a matter of the most complete indifference whether
-the audience was, or was not, disturbed. As a rule, I think it is
-horrid for people to come in late&mdash;so ill-bred&mdash;it upsets everyone.
-But I had a point of view for that night only.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I made another observation, when it seemed that you could have cut
-with a knife the silence which ensued.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Is this a funeral party? Has the weight of our feelings made us dumb?
-Can’t any of you say something?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That kind of remark always afflicts people’s tongues with a sort of
-paralysis. I was perfectly well aware of it. That was why I made it.
-They stumbled through some idiotic efforts to clothe with words ideas
-which they did not happen to possess just then. Then I created a
-diversion.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I believe I would rather not dine at Dupont’s. I think I’ve heard
-stories about it which show that it is not quite the place for ladies.
-It seems strange that Mr Hammond should have made the suggestion.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Excuse me, Miss Norah, the suggestion&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Yes?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I knew that he was about to say that it came from me. But I stopped
-him in time. Then he stopped himself&mdash;rather neatly.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The suggestion&mdash;was&mdash;only a suggestion.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It is a pity that it got even as far as a suggestion. Can you not
-tell us of some place, Mr Rumford, where it’s respectable?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“They feed you decently at the Imperial.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then by all means let us go where they feed you decently.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-So we descended at the Imperial Hotel. We asked for a private room.
-There was an entrance hall, with a good many people in it. As we
-passed through we roused rather a sensation. I do not think that the
-women admired me&mdash;they could not possibly like my dress, nobody could,
-and there was nothing else about me to like&mdash;but on some of the men I
-believe I made an impression, of rather a peculiar kind. Of course I
-never looked at any of them. A lady never looks at a strange man. I
-hope I never should forget myself to that extent. But I noticed them
-all the same; and they all of them looked at me, in some cases in a
-somewhat singular way. Some of them had ladies with them; and in those
-cases I was convinced that the ladies&mdash;who were a thousand times
-better dressed than I was, and were so much prettier&mdash;did not entirely
-relish the manner in which their attendant cavaliers were eyeing me.
-And I suspected that my five men did not altogether like it either; so
-that it was rather amusing on the whole.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The dinner was not a complete success. I really could not say it was,
-especially at the beginning. To commence with, Mr Purchase and Mr
-Carter did not put in an appearance in that private room for two or
-three minutes after us, and I had a kind of persuasion that they had
-remained behind to say a few words to two gentlemen who had regarded
-me with marked attention. When they came Mr Purchase looked red and Mr
-Carter white. I wondered what had passed, and should have liked to
-have made inquiries. But at the moment I did not see how I could do so
-with appropriate delicacy.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There seemed to be a spirit of mischief in that private room which was
-bent on setting us at cross purposes. They showed a tendency to snap
-at each other’s noses, which, remembering that I was the only lady
-present, was not nice manners; though, of course, it had its
-entertaining side. An imposing personage&mdash;a manager, or head waiter,
-or something&mdash;had followed us into the room, and with a tablet in his
-hand, stood prepared to take our orders, which it seemed that nobody
-was quite prepared to give. There was a general disinclination to
-order the various dishes which together go to make a dinner, which was
-slightly embarrassing, and was the cause of some little discussion.
-Under the circumstances, I cannot see how the imposing personage was
-to blame for taking the matter a good deal out of their hands. Even if
-he did it with a certain air of deference to me, I cannot admit that
-he ignored them altogether, or that he drew up the plan of a dinner in
-which they were not suffered to have a voice. Therefore when, having
-completed the order for the meal, he withdrew, I was astonished to
-hear the remarks of which he was the subject. Major Tibbet drew
-himself to his full height&mdash;which, after all, is not much&mdash;blew his
-nose&mdash;which I do not believe required blowing&mdash;and flourished his
-handkerchief&mdash;which was of salmon-coloured silk&mdash;in the air.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Fellow’s too big for his place!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-To my surprise the others followed in a chorus which pointed to their
-being, for the first time, in agreement with the Major.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“A good deal too big,” declared Mr Rumford; “and he forgets his
-place.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Too much mouth,” was Mr Hammond’s cryptic utterance. “Wants riding on
-the snaffle.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Purchase’s comment was easier to understand; and, perhaps, on that
-very account, more acidulated.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Some of the jacks-in-office you meet in places of this sort are
-insufferable.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Carter echoed him, with an addition of his own.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The amazing part of it is the way in which they are suffered.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But,” I observed, with all the innocence at my command, “why are you
-finding fault with him? I thought him most attentive.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There is such a thing,” returned the Major, seesawing himself on his
-toes and heels in a way I hate, “especially in a fellow in his
-position, as being too attentive.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But I thought that it was the special business of persons in his
-position to be attentive, that that was what they were there for, and
-that the more attentive they were the better.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There are ways <i>and</i> ways of being attentive, Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This was Mr Carter. He looked really angry. I had not a notion why.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I rather liked his way,” I said.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I could see that words were trembling on Mr Carter’s lips. The five
-exchanged glances, the meaning of which was beyond my comprehension.
-The door opened; in came the imposing personage followed by two of his
-understrappers. Mr Carter looked him full in the face.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You needn’t wait.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The personage seemed surprised, as was not unnatural.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Pardon me, sir, I am the manager of the private rooms.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I say that you need not wait.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Very well, sir, as you please; but I am no waiter.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Yet he acted as if he were a waiter, which did seem a little
-impertinent. But he managed with such dexterity, that, without an
-actual scene, it would have been difficult to keep him out of the
-room.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-People in his position nearly always are good-looking, after a fashion
-of their own, which is a fashion I detest. As regards looks he was
-certainly up to the average of his kind; indeed, I should have said a
-good deal above it, only the expression of opinion would not have been
-popular just then. He was an enormous man, perhaps six foot three or
-four, with tremendous width across the chest, and the most magnificent
-moustache. It was the finest moustache I had ever seen, and curled up
-at the ends in a way which made you keep on wondering how he did it.
-He had fair hair which curled naturally, and was parted in the middle,
-and the bluest eyes. Of course he was a German; and when you paused to
-think that his compatriots could afford to allow such a man as he was
-to go abroad and be a waiter, and never notice his absence, then you
-began to understand how it is that Germany bids fair to take her stand
-in the highest places.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-At the same time, his conduct did make the position seem a trifle
-strained, even more strained than it would have been without him,
-which was saying something. He might call himself the manager of the
-private rooms; but, despite Mr Carter, he succeeded in combining with
-his management a good deal of personal attention to me,&mdash;and that with
-an air which reminded me irresistibly of the shop-walker and the
-barber; and which I saw quite plainly brought my own five men nearly
-to the boiling point.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-For my own part, I do not care what I eat. But when I am eating I do
-not like to feel that at any moment plates may be thrown about. I had
-the feeling throughout that dinner. A note of discord was in the air,
-in fact, several notes. My companions grumbled at all the dishes,
-regardless of my presence. They reviled the meal as a whole, and in
-its several parts, declining to admit that it had a single redeeming
-feature. One is bound to confess that that private room manager’s
-demeanour was in striking contrast to that of his guests. They did
-nearly everything, short of throwing things at his head. He, on the
-other hand, was imperturbability itself; to me, the soul of
-politeness. And though he looked as if he could have knocked all their
-heads together, he listened to the nasty things they said&mdash;and they
-said some nasty ones&mdash;with a smile which never faltered for a single
-second.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The climax came with the bill. Major Tibbet approached the subject in
-a style which I had not supposed was customary when a lady was
-present.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I suppose we are going to the theatre; and its certainly no use our
-lingering over this travesty of a Christian meal. I must apologise to
-you, Miss Norah, for what you have suffered; but I trust you will do
-me the justice to admit that the fault is hardly mine.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Thank you; I have enjoyed my dinner very much.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Dinner? You call it dinner? Really, Miss Norah, you allow your
-goodness of heart to carry you too far. I don’t know which was worse,
-the food itself, the way in which it was prepared, or the service.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They followed one after the other.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The service in particular was bad.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Shocking. Never saw worse. Stable boy could have done better.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Perhaps we have been unfortunate in our attendants.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There is no perhaps in the case. We have been.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Then came my postscript.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I thought the service excellent.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“To have pleased madame is very much.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That manager of the private rooms favoured me with a bow and a smile,
-for which&mdash;from the expression of their countenances&mdash;I should
-scarcely have been surprised if they had attacked him tooth and nail.
-The Major spluttered.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I suppose there is something to pay&mdash;though we have had practically
-nothing. Waiter,”&mdash;with an accent on the “waiter,”&mdash;“let us know at
-once what there is to pay.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The personage retired, presently to return with a document which he
-placed before the Major. The Major’s face at sight of it was a study.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What! This! For such a meal! Monstrous, absolutely monstrous! Rank
-robbery, nothing else.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He passed the document round the table. By each it was commented on
-with equal freedom, which was nice for me, who had consumed the repast
-to the charge for which my hosts objected to with so much vigour. The
-imposing personage’s attitude made it even nicer.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“These gentlemen object to the bill?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Object? I should think we do object. We object very much to being
-robbed.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If these gentlemen do not wish to pay the bill they need not. We
-shall not try to make them, not at all. We will make them a present of
-the food, the wine, the service, everything. Only&mdash;they will not be
-served in the house again.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That, as I have said, was the climax. The bill was paid. My hosts did
-not propose to allow themselves to be regarded as recipients of
-charity. That manager of the private rooms showed, as I quitted the
-apartment, that his temper was still unruffled.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Madame will permit that I offer her a flower.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He held out a white rose. I placed it among Basil Carter’s
-lilies-of-the-valley. I sincerely trusted that Audrey had never seen
-such an expression on Mr Carter’s face. To me it looked like murder.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch17">
-CHAPTER XVII.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE BROWN MAN</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">I was</span> enjoying myself pretty fairly, taking it altogether. I wished
-I was better dressed. It made me wild to see women in such lovely
-things. Not that I envied them their clothes. I can safely say that
-about a good many of them, that was all there was to envy; and, after
-all, clothes are not quite everything. But it was disgusting that I
-should be so dowdy. And the consciousness was forcing itself on me
-momentarily more and more, that Jane’s shoes were tight, even for
-shoes. Still, there were alleviations. It was not so unpleasant as one
-might think, to feel that five grown men were hanging on your
-skirts&mdash;even if they were not in the latest fashion&mdash;as if it was
-painful to be more than a yard or so away from you. The ill-concealed
-fury with which they resented the interest which I roused in the
-breasts of other men was not without its amusing side.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There could be no doubt that I did arouse interest, not the very
-slightest. As we passed through the hall to the omnibus&mdash;that
-undignified vehicle!&mdash;I accidentally dropped Audrey’s fan&mdash;at least,
-almost accidentally. I ought not to have dropped it, because it was a
-lovely fan, and it was awfully good of Audrey to lend it me, and it
-might have been damaged by the fall. But it was not; it fell on the
-carpet, and was not hurt a bit. And I could not help but drop it. The
-men of the hall looked at me in one kind of queer way, and the women
-looked at me in another, so I felt bound to try an experiment; and
-down went the fan.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The result was most surprising. In an instant every male creature
-there came rushing to pick it up, guests and attendants. It was so
-odd; and not the least odd part of it was the faces of the women. I
-doubt if some of them had ever been more astonished in their lives
-before, or angrier. For every one of them to be deserted, without a
-moment’s warning, for a dowdily-dressed girl’s fan&mdash;and, oh dear! I
-did not need their critical glances to tell me I was dowdy&mdash;was a
-trifle marked. There was quite a scramble to pick up Audrey’s fan. It
-ran more risk of being damaged in the scrimmage than by the fall.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am sorry to give you all so much trouble,” I murmured.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-But they did not seem to mind in the least. They appeared, if
-anything, to like it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The fan was returned to me by a man who was really better-looking than
-that manager of the private rooms&mdash;at least, in my opinion. And he had
-as fine a moustache, though there was not such an ostentatious
-quantity of it, and it stood out straight at either end in the
-daintiest way. He was what I should call a brown man, with a pair of
-eyes which positively laughed at you. He had on a white waistcoat,
-which fitted him like a glove, and was both a dandy and a man.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He stood in front of me, with Audrey’s fan in his hand, and something
-in his eyes which sent a thrill all over. I fancy it must have been
-because he looked so masterful.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It is very good of you to take so much trouble. I am very awkward.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am very fortunate.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That was all he said. I do not think I ever heard a more musical voice
-in a man. With a graceful movement of his handsome head he handed me
-the fan. But he did not move. And, somehow, I did not seem to mind his
-continuing to stand there with his eyes looking into mine. But my
-escort did. The Major began to fuss.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, are we going to that theatre or are we not? Because, if we are,
-we shall have to make haste if we want to get there before the piece
-is over.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The procession continued towards the door, the men giving way to let
-us pass, following me with their eyes in a manner which was
-pronounced. I was conscious that the women also were following me with
-their eyes, in a manner which was equally pronounced, in an entirely
-different sense. I knew they were picking me to pieces, failing to see
-anything in me of any sort or kind, and disapproving of me most
-heartily. But I was also aware that the brown man was coming after us
-towards the door. As we were climbing into the omnibus he stood on the
-top of the steps, out in the open street, and watched us. When Mr
-Hammond told the coachman to drive to the Gaiety Theatre I felt sure
-he heard. He gave a little inclination of his head as we drove off
-which as good as said he did.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-In the omnibus the atmosphere was not less charged with electricity
-than it had been before. Indeed, I should have said that it even more
-inclined to give off sparks. As soon as we had started, Mr Carter
-observed, with his very sweetest air:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There seem to be a great many impertinent persons about to-night.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I knew he had the brown man in his mind’s eye. He had glared at him
-throughout.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“One does meet impertinent persons sometimes. Occasionally one even
-goes out with them.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He looked as if he could have said a good deal, but he managed to
-refrain. The others, apparently, were warned by his fate; they joined
-him in an ominous silence. So I went on, sweetly:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What a handsome man that head-waiter was, wasn’t he? And wasn’t he
-big? I couldn’t see what fault you had to find with him, I thought he
-was most attentive; and it was nice of him to give me this rose. One
-values small attentions from persons in his position.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I thought that that most innocent remark would have had the effect of
-a lighted match dropped into a barrel of gunpowder. But I was
-mistaken. They all, with one accord, persisted in saying nothing at
-all. I knew that they thought the more. Still, their dumbness had an
-effect which was disconcerting. I was just beginning to wonder if I
-was to spend the evening in the society of a company of deaf-mutes,
-when a remark from Mr Hammond loosed their tongues in earnest.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“By the way, about sitting in the theatre, you’ll sit with me first,
-won’t you, Miss Norah? Now say you will?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Rumford interposed, before I could reply:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That sort of thing is contrary to our agreement, Mr Hammond, entirely
-contrary. Personal appeals were expressly forbidden. We arranged the
-order in which the sitting was to be; and by that arrangement you
-undertook to stand.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s all very well, but according to that arrangement she was to
-sit first with you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Precisely. Which makes my astonishment the greater that you should
-attempt to upset it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And afterwards with Purchase.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Then came Mr Purchase’s turn.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Quite so; after sitting for twenty minutes with Mr Rumford.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And then with Carter.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Perfectly correct.” This Mr Carter. “Unfortunately, Miss Norah, I
-have not been able to get another box. So we have agreed that I shall
-remain outside Purchase’s box while he enjoys your company, and that
-then he shall go down to Mr Rumford’s stall when my turn comes.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There promises to be a good deal of transferring,” I observed.
-“Something like not having more than one dance with a single partner.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And afterwards,” continued the injured Mr Hammond, “Miss Norah is to
-sit with Tibbet.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And I shall be only too charmed to have her,” simpered the Major.
-“Better late than never. Only unluckily, Miss Norah, I’m in an almost
-worse plight than Mr Carter, inasmuch as I have only succeeded in
-procuring two seats, in what, I am given to understand, is called the
-upper circle&mdash;wretched places in the clouds.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“They’re not seats in which a lady ought to be asked to sit, certain
-fact.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then,” suggested Mr Rumford, “when it is the Major’s turn, you might
-let him have your two stalls.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Capital notion, Mr Rumford, excellent. I am sure that Mr Hammond will
-be only too delighted.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Hammond might be delighted, but he did not show it. He preferred to
-air a grievance which evidently lay heavy on his mind.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What I have to say is this. When we made the arrangement you’re all
-so keen about, it was understood that we should be in the theatre by
-eight. But it’s now past nine.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“We are hardly to blame for that.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t say you are&mdash;don’t say anyone’s to blame,&mdash;only stating a fact.
-But as things are, it comes to this&mdash;that, by the time you’ve all had
-your turns, the performance will be over, and then where shall I be?
-That’s what I want to know.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“A bargain is a bargain, Mr Hammond; and when one is signed and sealed
-one generally has to adhere to it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It may be a bargain for you, Rumford, but don’t call it a bargain for
-me. The entire arrangement was based on the presumption that we should
-be in the theatre at eight o’clock, and, as we’re not, then the whole
-thing falls to the ground.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“An astounding proposition, Mr Hammond! A most astounding
-proposition!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Then they all began to talk at once, in tones which did not suggest
-that they would quickly arrive at a clear and amicable common
-understanding. It struck me that it was about time for me to say a
-word. So I said one.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It seems to me, if I may be allowed to speak&mdash;and I really don’t care
-to hear people bawling in an omnibus, at least not more than two or
-three at once, unless I am first permitted to get out&mdash;I say that it
-seems to me that you are drawing up the programme of how I am to spend
-the evening without the slightest reference to my wishes. So far as I
-understand I am to be passed round and round the theatre, as if I were
-an old shoe, in a sort of game of hunt-the-slipper.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Say, rather, like some priceless jewel, which each desires to
-regard&mdash;though only for a few fleeting moments&mdash;as his own.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That may sound prettier, Mr Purchase, but the idea does not appeal to
-me, and I’m not fond of trotting in and out of stalls and boxes.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But the arrangement was made, Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really, Mr Carter, you seem to have arrangements on the brain. Have I
-not already told you that I care nothing for arrangements, whether
-made or unmade? You are taking me to the theatre at a ridiculously
-late hour. I cannot understand why you went through the farce of
-asking me to go if you did not propose to get me there before the
-performance was over. I exceedingly dislike arriving after the piece
-has commenced. The least you could do was to manage matters so as to
-ensure that I didn’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The pause which followed was instinct with the silence of
-speechlessness. The audacity of my method of presenting the case took
-those five men’s breath away. I looked into each of their faces with a
-look which dared them to contradict me. And none of them dared. It was
-delicious. The idea that if I chose to say that black was white I
-could induce normally reasonable people to refrain from, at any rate
-openly, attempting to demonstrate the contrary was a novel one. Yet I
-could not but feel that such a power might become dangerous if it were
-carried too far. It would not be pleasant for persons to be compelled
-to regard chalk as cheese.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was not, however, disposed to consider that I had carried that power
-too far as yet. So I continued my observations in a strain which was
-intended to impress them with my conviction that I was the injured
-party.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Since, owing to your curious method of managing affairs, so much of
-the evening has been already wasted, all that remains is for you to do
-your utmost to enable me to enjoy those portions of the performance
-which we may still be in time to see.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That is our one desire, Miss Norah; our one desire!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If that is the case then you will not consider yourselves at all, you
-will only consider me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“How are we to do that, Miss Norah?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“By observing my wishes.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What&mdash;wh&mdash;what are your wishes?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The question was asked with a faltering intonation which spoke
-volumes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“They are very simple. It is plain that we cannot all sit together. It
-is equally plain that you cannot agree as to how the division is to be
-effected. I will solve the difficulty by telling you what are my own
-wishes in the matter. If you have any regard for me, whatever, you
-will observe them. Mr Purchase will sit in the stalls with Mr Hammond;
-Mr Carter with Mr Rumford; Major Tibbet will have his two seats in the
-upper circle to himself, and I will occupy the box&mdash;alone.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-My proposal was not greeted with any greater warmth than I expected. I
-never saw five blanker looking faces.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah, you’re not&mdash;you’re not&mdash;very complimentary to us all.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I did not intend to be. I did not know you brought me out to pay you
-compliments.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You’ve hit the nail in pointing out that you ought to consider the
-box as yours, and only yours. That’s right enough. We’re pretty idiots
-not to have seen it all along. But mayn’t some of us come up and talk
-to you now and then?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I’d rather you didn’t. You might spoil my enjoyment of what was
-taking place upon the stage.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“However, I have no desire to enjoy myself at your expense. So, when
-we reach the theatre, you go to your seats&mdash;and ask the coachman to
-drive me home.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As it happened, just then we reached the theatre. The door of the
-omnibus was opened, and, almost before I knew it, I was being handed
-out of it on to the pavement. It was all done so quickly that I really
-had no time to remonstrate. Still less to carry the trampling process
-to a further stage. Those five men had more ways of obtaining their
-own ends than one might suppose. And when a brougham dashed up, and
-the brown man sprang out of it, almost within a couple of feet of
-where I was standing, in a manner of speaking I lost my head
-completely.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch18">
-CHAPTER XVIII.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">BEFORE THE CURTAIN</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">There</span> is more depth in a man than one might imagine. I am not sure
-that that is exactly what I mean, but then I do not know how to
-describe just what I do mean; it sometimes is so difficult. One thing
-is certain, that a man does keep his presence of mind, and that not
-always in a manner which he has any reason to consider creditable. I
-am not able to state what happened with so much clearness as I should
-wish, or, indeed, with any clearness at all. Under the circumstances,
-to expect lucidity from me is out of the question. I know that I lost
-my presence of mind. I have a vague impression that during the time I
-was wholly without it, I was hurried somewhere, by some one, in a
-manner which was beyond my comprehension. When I regained it, at least
-in part&mdash;for I never did altogether during the entire remainder of
-that evening; that I do most solemnly assert&mdash;I was in a seat, with a
-stage in front of me, on which something was going on, and people all
-round me, who were apparently in a state of dissatisfaction with
-someone, about something. Voices were saying behind me:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Sit down in front!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I looked, and there, actually, was Walter Hammond settling himself in
-a seat at my side. A gentleman on the other side of him leant forward
-and said:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t know if you’re aware that you’ve trodden on my hat, sir.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mr Hammond’s manner did not betray the mental disturbance which his
-reply suggested.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Frightfully sorry! Delighted to provide you with another, sir!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was lost in amazement as to how I had come to be where I was; above
-all, how he had come to be there too. Where were the four? How was it
-that they had calmly acquiesced in my being whipped off from
-underneath their very noses? Where was the brown man, and everything?
-Some observations from Mr Hammond threw a little light upon the
-matter, but not much.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Very neatly done&mdash;the riding did it&mdash;bad starters&mdash;left them at the
-post&mdash;romped in before they knew we’d begun to make the running.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Where,” I inquired, “are the others? And how is it that, after what I
-have just now been saying, I find myself here?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Question of jockeyship, Miss Norah. Good seat in the saddle&mdash;quick
-hands&mdash;made up my mind you and I should be snug together.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I wish to understand,” I began.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Will you pardon my pointing out to you, madam, that a lady is singing
-on the stage?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Hardly had I opened my mouth than this remark, or question, or
-whatever it was intended for, was addressed to me by a woman who
-occupied the seat upon my left. There was not much of her, but she
-made up in acidity&mdash;or it seemed as if she did&mdash;what she lacked in
-size. The undressed portion of her&mdash;which was disproportionately
-large&mdash;was covered with jewels. She looked to me to be about fifty,
-though, I daresay, she would have given her age as thirty-five. Being
-spoken to in such a fashion by a perfect stranger, and such a shrimp
-of a thing, precipitated me back into the condition of mental
-confusion from which I had just been emerging. When I myself get to a
-theatre early, and am enjoying the performance, I hate people to come
-in late. And when to that offence they add the capital crime of
-talking out loud, or even in an audible whisper&mdash;and there is a
-certain sort of whisper which is almost more audible than a shout&mdash;I
-sometimes ask myself why they were not drowned when they were young.
-In a mazy sort of mist I was disposed to wonder if other people could
-possibly be asking themselves the same question about me. I became
-hazily conscious that I was an object of general attention. People
-were murmuring among themselves. I even suspected the performers on
-the stage of regarding me with a malevolent eye.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was a painful situation. I could not stand up and explain to the
-audience that it was not my fault I had entered in such a whirlwind
-fashion, apparently in the very middle of a song. I could not tell
-them that if I had had my way I should not have been there at all.
-Still less could I rise up, then and there, and march straight out
-again. All I could do was sit still, and burn.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-On the other hand, Mr Hammond showed not the slightest sign of
-discomfiture. I was not only aware that he was smiling in a most
-significant manner, but he went so far as to allow himself to touch me
-with the point of his elbow, nudged me, in fact, with it in the side.
-And he said:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Gay old kicker.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I do not pretend to be versed in stable slang, but it was impossible
-to suppose that the phrase conveyed a compliment, especially as a
-reference from a gentleman to a lady of ripened years&mdash;I should not
-have been surprised if she had been more than fifty. Unfortunately,
-the reference was as obvious as it was audible. I felt my next-door
-neighbour draw herself up in a way which made a creepy-crawly feeling
-go all over me. I looked at her with what was intended to be an air of
-deprecation, and an intimation that I was in no way to be confounded
-with that dreadful Walter Hammond. And as I did so I became conscious
-that on the other side of her was a man&mdash;an old man, a very old man,
-and, also, I am afraid, a wicked old man. He was big and bald, with a
-red face, a weedy, white moustache, and an expression which I should
-describe as a mixture of ferocity, depravity, and&mdash;though I am
-reluctant to write it&mdash;drink. Picture my sensations when&mdash;as I turned
-to the little woman, who, I fear, poor thing, was his wife; before I
-really realised his presence, or how he was staring at me with his
-great eyes: and, emphatically, before I had the dimmest suspicion of
-what he was about to do&mdash;he winked at me&mdash;positively winked, not once,
-nor twice, but thrice&mdash;ostentatiously, without the least attempt at
-concealment. The little woman did not catch him in the act; goodness
-only knows what would have happened if she had. What he meant by it,
-or what he took me for, I have not the faintest notion. I was
-beginning to wonder what everyone took me for. Although I know my face
-became as red as fire, I went cold all over. Just then the singing on
-the stage ceased, people broke into applause. In the midst of their
-clapping I became aware that Walter Hammond was addressing me in a
-strain which as nearly as possible deprived me of the small remainder
-of my breath.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Whether, under any circumstances, a reasonable being would have
-supposed that that was a proper place, or a fitting moment, to enter
-on a subject of the kind, I cannot say, but, considering that, to all
-intents and purposes, we were strangers, and how he had treated me in
-the days gone by&mdash;not to speak of the way in which he had behaved to
-Eveleen&mdash;his doing so, then and there, was&mdash;well, beyond anything. I
-was so bewildered, and the people made such a noise, and he had such a
-queer way of expressing himself, that at first I did not understand
-what he was after.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t believe in entering a filly unless you mean running her to
-win.” I repeat that I have no pretension whatever to an acquaintance
-with the language of the turf; so that if there is anything muddled
-about his metaphors as I repeat them, I presume that the fault is
-mine. “If I had my way should always penalise entries which weren’t on
-the job. Whenever I’m in I’m there to win. That’s me, Miss Norah,
-straight. I’m no mole&mdash;always do what I do do out in the open&mdash;no
-burrowing for me. When I go for a mark, I aim for all I’m worth. Same
-with a girl. Mayn’t seem like a marrying man&mdash;have been told I’m like
-a cock, hard to bag. As girls go, small wonder they only bag crocks.
-But when I’m in for marriage, I mean getting there&mdash;there’s no
-stopping me&mdash;foul riding couldn’t do it&mdash;and there’s no fear of foul
-riding from you, because you’re different from any girl I ever met.
-Miss Norah, I love you!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As ill luck would have it the applause died away just as he uttered
-those words&mdash;and just as I was approaching the dumfounded stage. An
-encore had been conceded; the singer was preparing to re-commence,
-when Mr Hammond delivered himself of that paralysing piece of
-information in a tone of voice which had been designed to reach my
-ears in spite of the din, and which rose above the sudden silence in a
-sort of roar. In consequence, those fatal words&mdash;“Miss Norah, I love
-you!”&mdash;must have been heard all over the stalls, by nearly everyone in
-the pit, and by goodness knows who else besides. It was delightful for
-me. I should have liked to have sunk into the ground. A voice came
-from somewhere at the back&mdash;a vulgar voice.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You’re quite right, sir; and so say all of us; we all love Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Giggles came from every side. Regardless of what I felt, that
-extraordinary man did not seem to care in the least what anybody
-thought of him. Merely dropping his voice a tone or two, he actually
-went straight on:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Never mind those beggars&mdash;time’s precious&mdash;must make the running
-while you can. I say, Miss Norah, that I love you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-A gentleman in the row of stalls behind us leant forward, thrusting
-his head between Mr Hammond’s and mine, and observed&mdash;think of it!&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“We have heard you say so once already, sir. Would you mind postponing
-the repetition of the statement till after the singer has finished. We
-are waiting to hear the song?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-So far from being nonplussed, or disconcerted, or ashamed, or anything
-he ought to have been, all that Mr Hammond did do was to adjust his
-monocle more securely in his eye, and to look at the stage. Seeing
-that the fact was as stated, and that somebody was about to sing, he
-apparently appreciated the reasonableness of the stranger’s request,
-and held his peace; and the singer sang.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-What she sang about&mdash;she was one of those lovely ladies whom you do
-find at the Gaiety&mdash;I have not an idea. All my ideas were gone. I was
-more than speechless. There was Walter Hammond, sitting all at once as
-if he had been carved out of stone, glaring at the stage as if he took
-not the slightest interest in what was taking place on it. The man
-behind, when making that unutterably impertinent remark, had slipped a
-scrap of paper over my shoulder, unnoticed, I presume, by Mr Hammond,
-and, I hope, by everyone else. It had slid down my bare neck, and had
-lodged in the top of my bodice. That wicked old person who sat on the
-other side of the little woman kept his beetroot-coloured face turned
-almost constantly in my direction; when I moved so much as an eyelash
-in his, he winked. Short of provoking a scandalous scene, I did not
-see what I could do to stop it, even if I had had my senses
-sufficiently about me to do anything, which I really had not. For,
-endeavouring to avoid his winks, my glances reached a box which was,
-so to speak, on the other side of the top of his bald head. In it was
-the brown man. He was standing up in the centre of it, well to the
-front. Although he shared the box with a lady, he did not allow her
-presence to deter him in the least. So soon as he caught my eye, he
-inclined his head in my direction in the most noticeable way, as if we
-had been quite old friends. The lady, who was young and pretty, and
-most beautifully dressed, was sitting down on his right, an
-opera-glass before her eyes, pointed straight at me. When he presumed
-to bestow on me that movement of recognition, she put down her glass
-and smiled, and, unless I was mistaken, nodded at me. I was convinced
-that I had never seen her in my life before. What did she mean? and
-what did he mean? and what should I do?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Of course, noticing his impertinence was out of the question, though
-he did look so distinguished standing up there in his beautiful white
-waistcoat, really my ideal of a handsome man. To avoid him, and to
-mark my sense of his misconduct, I turned my head right round, so that
-my glance lighted on the box which was exactly opposite the one in
-which he was.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was occupied by the four men.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They were standing up, all in a row. At one end, a little back, was Mr
-Rumford. He had his hands in his pockets. On his face was an
-expression which hardly betokened enjoyment of the actors’ and
-actresses’ efforts to amuse. Next to him was Basil Carter, to whom,
-from what I had understood, the box belonged. He was apparently not in
-the best of tempers. Resting his hands on the edge of the box, he
-glared, first at Mr Hammond, then at me, then at the brown man over
-the way. I could not honestly assert that he looked pleasantly at
-either of us. I had learned a good deal about his temper since leaving
-home. I wondered if Audrey had an inkling of what sort of one he
-really had. Beside him was Jack Purchase. His arms were crossed upon
-his chest in what I imagine that he perhaps supposed was a tragic
-attitude. It reminded me of the pictures in the novelettes which I
-used to read when I was little&mdash;“Lady Lucy’s Lingering Love,” and that
-sort of thing. They were rather fond of giving illustrations of
-gentlemen with their arms folded across their chests; and there was
-something in his face which was a good deal like what used to be on
-theirs. He looked alternately at the brown man and Mr Hammond as if he
-would have liked to eat them, though, I daresay, that that was not the
-impression which the look was intended to convey. With the fingers of
-one hand he held the brim of his crush hat. Personally, I should not
-have been a bit surprised if it had come spinning down at Mr Hammond
-at my side, or if it had gone whirling through the air at the brown
-man opposite. If he could have used it as a boomerang, and flung it at
-both, it is my private impression that, in spite of the scandal it
-would have occasioned, he would have done it. I never saw two men in
-worse tempers than he and Mr Carter seemed to be just then.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-At the further end of the row, completing the quartette, was little
-Major Tibbet. He was really a pitiable figure. What, I suspect, was
-his partial consciousness of the fact made it more obvious still. He
-kept fidgeting from foot to foot, touching himself furtively here and
-there, as if he doubted if everything was right. And it was not. He
-seemed to have been in the wars. His wig was on one side, one eyebrow
-was not only smudgy, but distinctly higher than the other, and
-something dreadful had happened to his complexion. An earthquake, or
-some similar cataclysm, seemed to have cracked it, so that on one side
-of his face quite a large patch of it was missing.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I could not but feel that mamma would not have liked to have seen him
-in his then condition. She is so particular about men’s appearance,
-especially those whom she honours with her acquaintance. And if she
-has the faintest suspicion that her own transformation is in the very
-slightest degree out of the straight, she nearly worries herself into
-a fit. What would she have felt if she had seen the singular angle at
-which the Major’s wig was poised?
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch19">
-CHAPTER XIX.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">AN UNREHEARSED EFFECT</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">I would</span> have given the world to have been able to rise from my seat,
-leave the theatre, and go straight home. But the power to do it was
-not in me. I knew there was a storm in the air. I felt it about me on
-every side. I am sure I am not a nervous person, as a rule. But just
-then I was simply a bundle of nerves; on tenterhooks all the time as
-to what was going to happen next. And then Jane’s shoes were
-inflicting such agonies on my unfortunate feet that I would have
-slipped them off had it not been for the conviction that I should
-never be able to get into them again if I did; and what would happen
-if I had to march out of the theatre in my crimson-stockinged feet? In
-such a case, would it be more dignified to carry Jane’s shoes with me
-in my hand, or to leave them behind me on the floor?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That pretty lady on the stage finished her encored song, and I had not
-caught a word or a note!&mdash;and generally I do not allow a single thing
-to escape me. Under cover of the clapping, an attendant handed Mr
-Hammond a note. I knew in an instant who it was from, if only by the
-eagerness with which the four in the box observed the manner of its
-reception. Not that I looked at them. I looked at no one, I did not
-dare, keeping my eyes fixed as much as possible on vacancy. For,
-wherever I looked, there was some presumptuous man who looked back at
-me in a manner which was simply indescribable. But one need not look
-to see; and I was quite aware that each of those four men was leaning
-as far over the edge of the box as was consistent with safety, in
-order that they might have the earliest possible information of the
-adventures of that missive.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They soon had it. Mr Hammond rent the envelope open; took out a
-card&mdash;something told me it was Basil Carter’s&mdash;read what was written
-on the back of it, and tore it into shreds, which he dropped between
-his knees.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No answer,” he said to the attendant, “except that you can tell ’em
-to go to blazes.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Then, as if such language was a matter of no consequence, he turned to
-me, continuing his previous most extraordinary remarks, completely
-regardless of the performance on the stage, and of the people all
-around us, too.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Frightfully sorry to seem to rush you, Miss Norah. Fact is, when
-judge’s box is within a furlong, if you don’t want to get left behind,
-you’re bound to bustle. I’ve got it all on this time&mdash;every
-copper&mdash;must bar taking chances&mdash;a certainty is what I’m after. A
-certainty it is, if you’ll consent. Let’s put our piles together&mdash;come
-in with me on the same horse&mdash;Matrimony, out of True Love, by
-Unbounded Admiration. She’s the mare to carry two as if they were one;
-and if you ride her with a gentle hand, she keeps on winning all the
-time. Miss Norah, say that it’s a go.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I suppose, looking back, that that extraordinary speech was intended
-to be regarded as a proposal of marriage. I do not see, now, what else
-it could have been meant for. But I did not see it then. Considering
-the circumstances under which it was made, it was not strange.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I do not know if it is customary for proposals to be made in the
-stalls of a theatre. I sincerely hope, for the lady’s sake, that it is
-not; especially if the subject is treated in the singular manner in
-which it was treated then. Not only was the phraseology very peculiar,
-but many of the people about us could not help hearing most of what he
-said; so that I had a dreadful feeling that they were more amused by
-his remarks than by those of the performers on the stage. No woman, I
-suppose, likes the declaration of a man’s passion to be made a public
-mock of, even when it comes from such a ridiculous creature as Walter
-Hammond.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Voices came to us from the pit&mdash;as before, vulgar voices.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Silence! Shut up there in front! Can’t the gentleman in the stalls go
-outside if he wants to talk to his young lady?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-In desperation, I endeavoured to induce him to respect their most
-reasonable wishes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mr Hammond,” I whispered, “can’t you keep still? You prevent the
-people from enjoying the performance.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Hang the performance!” was his answer. “And hang the people, too! Say
-yes, Miss Norah&mdash;only say yes!&mdash;and I’ll be silent as the grave.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He reached out&mdash;in the stalls!&mdash;for my hand. I had the greatest
-difficulty in keeping it from him. If I had allowed him to get it into
-his, what he would have tried to do next, I do not dare to think. Had
-I had the vaguest conception of what kind of person he really was,
-nothing would have induced me to have any connection with him
-whatever. I pitied Eveleen, from the bottom of my heart, if she ever
-allowed her path in life to become associated with his.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The same attendant who had brought Mr Carter’s card&mdash;or, at least,
-what I believed to have been Mr Carter’s card&mdash;re-appeared. All round
-us people were smiling, some of them giggling outright. They were
-whispering among themselves. I saw that we were targets for
-everybody’s eyes. I had a horrid feeling that we were even attracting
-the attention of the actors and actresses on the stage. There was no
-doubt as to our being observed by the band. One of the clarionet
-players was grinning with such intense enjoyment that it was a miracle
-how it was that he managed to blow. The reappearance of that attendant
-was a distinct relief. She held out an envelope, which Mr Hammond
-snatched at with an air of resentment. She drew it back, saying,
-beneath her breath:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s for the lady, sir.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I took it, with trembling fingers. I managed, after a deal of
-ridiculous fumbling, to get it open. Inside were no less than four
-visiting cards. There was no need to refer to their fronts to
-understand from whom they came; I felt those four men glaring at me
-from the box above. On the back of one of them something was written.
-I did not look to see whose it was, but I knew it was Basil Carter’s.
-It was written so very badly, apparently with a blunt lead pencil, and
-I myself was in such a state of fluster, that I had difficulty in
-making out what it was.
-</p>
-
-<div class="letter">
-
-<p>
-“<span class="sc">My dear Miss Norah</span>,&mdash;I implore you to come up to my box at once! Mr
-Hammond undertook to conduct you to it, but, with monstrous perfidy,
-he enticed you to his own stall instead. This is not the time, and I
-have not the space, to give you my candid opinion of his behaviour,
-but I appeal to your sense of justice&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<p>
-That was all I could read. Several more words&mdash;or what I supposed were
-words&mdash;were crammed into the corner, which were beyond my powers of
-deciphering. But I had deciphered enough. What an awful character Mr
-Hammond appeared to be, to have played such a trick upon his
-friends&mdash;and upon me!&mdash;with the seemingly express intention of making
-a laughing-stock of me in front of all the theatre. I stood up on the
-instant, trembling&mdash;at least, partly&mdash;with rage. He stood up, too.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What’s the matter? Miss Norah, where are you going?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am going to Mr Carter’s box.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He had the assurance to seem surprised.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah! Not before giving me an answer! Say yes! Be a sportsman,
-Miss Norah, and put my number up!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Naturally, the whole place was in commotion.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Sit down in front!” exclaimed half-a-dozen voices.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-One unmannerly creature made himself clearly heard above the others.
-One of the many objectionable things about Mr Hammond was that he had
-such a strident voice, and that he would speak so loudly.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Put the gentleman’s number up, if it’s only up the spout, Miss Norah;
-and then, perhaps, he will sit down!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I distinctly heard the acid lady beside me say:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I cannot understand how it is that they admit such creatures. I
-certainly should have thought that they would not have been allowed in
-the stalls of a respectable theatre.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-What she meant I did not know, and I could scarcely inquire. Anyhow,
-it was not an agreeable thing to have said of one. The man in the row
-behind stood up, also, again thrusting his head between Mr Hammond and
-me, and actually forcing a scrap of paper into my hand.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Pardon me once more, sir, but some of us have paid for our seats with
-the idea of witnessing the performance, which, I believe, still is
-going on.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The impertinence of the man’s manner, and the absolute insolence of
-his behaviour to me, stung me to sudden fury. I can get into a rage if
-I like! I held out the piece of paper which he had just insinuated
-between my fingers.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mr Hammond, this person has just forced this into my hand, and a few
-minutes ago he dropped this down my neck.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I extracted the three-cornered fragment, which still reposed where it
-had fallen, inside my bodice, offering it to Mr Hammond with the
-other. He took them both, opened one, glanced at it, then said, in a
-tone of inquiry:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“This the Johnny?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That is the man.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I do not know what was on that scrap of paper. I have sometimes
-wondered; but I never did know, and I never shall. Whatever it was, I
-can scarcely conceive that it could have been an, in any way, adequate
-excuse for what Mr Hammond immediately did. Yet there was a
-workmanlike promptness about the fashion in which it was done which,
-in a sense, appealed to me. Though it must not be, for a moment,
-supposed that I regarded his action as anything but shocking.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He turned round, and he hit that insolent man in the centre of his
-face with such force that he knocked him over the back of his own
-stall right into the row behind. Whatever else it was, it was a
-magnificent hit.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch20">
-CHAPTER XX.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE BROUGHAM</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">I am</span> afraid that, in my nature somewhere, there must be a touch of
-the original savage. It is a painful thing to have to admit, but when
-one is so full of faults, as I confessedly am, I fancy that one or
-two, more or less, can hardly make much difference. I only know that,
-when I saw that person go flying over the back of his own stall, I was
-obliged to Mr Hammond for having sent him there. More, a good deal
-more!&mdash;I should not have minded if he had sent a good many of the
-people round us after him, especially&mdash;in spite of his age&mdash;that
-barefaced old man on the other side of the vinegary little woman, who,
-under cover of the excitement which immediately ensued, came to my
-side, and took my hand in his, and began to look at me in a fashion,
-and to say things, which made me burn with a desire to throw him into
-the middle of the band.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Of course there was a disturbance. All the people in the theatre
-jumped to their feet; the band ceased playing; the performance on the
-stage stopped also. Shouts and noises came from all parts of the
-building. Half-a-dozen men came towards us as quickly as the cramped
-space permitted. Mr Hammond confronted them as coolly as you please;
-he could keep his presence of mind.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Only gave the fellow a taste of what he deserves. Chap who behaves
-like a blackguard to a woman wants drowning. Sorry, though, to have
-had to make a mess with him in a place like this.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Attendants seemed to be advancing on us from all sides. Suddenly I
-found that Basil Carter was standing in front of me. He was white with
-anxiety, or agitation, or rage, or something. He began to order me
-about as if I were a child.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah, come up to my box, at once. Mr Hammond, I shall call you
-to a personal account for this.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That fired me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Account! Why should you call him to account? He has merely marked his
-sense of an insult which was offered me. Do you consider that he is to
-blame for that?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There is a right and wrong way of doing that sort of thing, Miss
-Norah, as Mr Hammond knows. Will you be so good as to come up into my
-box?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That ridiculous Mr Hammond turned to me&mdash;his tenacity of purpose, in
-his own absurd way, was wonderful.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Miss Norah, you’ll give me an answer before you go!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If it had not been for the almost insane manner in which you have
-behaved, there might never have been this trouble. That is the answer
-I give you, and that is the only one you ever will receive.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I marched off. In the corridor I found myself in the company of the
-four. I was in a towering passion, and they also were in a rage, each
-in his own way.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The man is a scoundrel&mdash;perfect scoundrel&mdash;ought to be treated as
-such!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This was the Major.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Who is a scoundrel, Major Tibbet?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Man Hammond&mdash;regular ruffian!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I should recommend you to go back and tell him so. You will find
-that, in the proceedings which will follow, he will be disposed to do
-his share.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“He hasn’t behaved well, Miss Norah&mdash;really, he hasn’t!” This was Mr
-Rumford; his manner I should describe as cattish. There was something
-about him which reminded me of an elderly tabby. “Hoodwinked us in a
-most ungentlemanly manner. Induced us to entrust him with you, on what
-were absolutely false pretences. He really did.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If that is so, I am more indebted to him than I imagined. That is all
-I can say, Mr Rumford.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It isn’t fair of you to say such things, Miss Norah.” Mr Purchase had
-the audacity to say that. “You came with us as our common guest&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Please don’t speak of me as your common guest, or as your guest at
-all, Mr Purchase.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You purposely twist my words. You know perfectly well&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I know perfectly well that I wish to have nothing to say to you, nor
-do I wish you to have anything to say to me&mdash;thank you very much
-indeed, Mr Purchase. Gentlemen, I need not trouble you to come any
-farther&mdash;I am going home.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Going home!” cried Mr Carter. “You are coming to my box, Miss Norah.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am going to do nothing of the kind.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But, Miss Norah, surely you will not punish us because of Hammond’s
-misconduct; surely&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do not trouble yourself to say anything more, Mr Carter; and be so
-good as to understand me clearly. I am indebted to you, separately and
-collectively, for a very unpleasant evening. I will not apportion the
-blame among you; I will leave you to do that yourselves. I can only
-say that had I known what sort of persons you were I should not have
-trespassed on your generosity, in search&mdash;in vain search&mdash;of an
-evening’s entertainment. You have already caused me to be a principal
-figure in a most disagreeable scene; you see how, thanks to you, the
-people are staring at me now&mdash;it’s a wonder the police do not turn me
-out! Being fearful lest you may drag me into another, I will say
-good-evening to you now&mdash;and thank you very much. Please do not come
-with me another inch.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But, Miss Norah, you will at least allow us to see you home.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“See me home!&mdash;you! I would sooner ride with a cabman on his box.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But you have no carriage!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I have no omnibus, you mean. It’s a kind of vehicle I never cared
-about. If you persist in following me I shall have to appeal to the
-attendants for protection. There are cabs. I will get one for myself.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Someone touched me on the arm. It was the girl who had been in the
-brown man’s box. She looked up at me with the most lovely smile,
-speaking in the sweetest voice:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Perhaps you will allow me to relieve you of that difficulty. I have a
-carriage at the door. It is at your service to take you home.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It is very good of you to make me such an offer, but I could not
-think of troubling you&mdash;of putting you to so much inconvenience.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There will be no inconvenience, and no trouble. I have some friends
-here with whom I am going on. If you don’t use it it will go home
-empty, so it may as well take you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But&mdash;the gentleman who was with you in the box?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My brother?” Somehow I was pleased to hear that the brown man was her
-brother. “He is looking for my friends; you needn’t worry about him.
-Come, I’ll show you which my carriage is.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She laid her hand lightly on my arm. All at once I found myself
-walking at her side, as if we were old acquaintances. The four stood
-staring after us. It was quite a comfort to be walking with a woman,
-after being the observed of all those men&mdash;particularly as she was so
-pretty and so beautifully dressed. As we went she talked&mdash;always with
-that lovely smile.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You’re a girl of many adventures.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“To-night I am&mdash;too many.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Oh, I don’t know. A girl can’t have too many adventures, especially
-if they’re amusing ones. Do you think she can? There isn’t a man in
-the theatre who has eyes for anyone but you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s not my fault. I’d almost rather they hadn’t any eyes at all.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She laughed, as if something I had said had tickled her.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s not good wishing that; they have&mdash;big ones where a women is
-concerned. There is my carriage. The commissionaire will open the door
-for you; I didn’t bring a footman. Tell them where to drive.
-Good-night. No thanks! Delighted it’s of use to you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I left her at the top of the steps which led into the street. At the
-foot a brougham was standing. As I went down the steps she signalled
-to the porter, or commissionaire, or whatever he was, who, I suppose,
-was attached to the theatre. He held the brougham door open for me to
-enter. I stepped in, waving my hand to her in farewell greeting, and
-the door was closed. I gave the commissionaire my address, leaned back
-among the cushions&mdash;lovely cushions they were, like down to one’s
-back!&mdash;congratulating myself on having got rid of my late companions,
-and of being in the possession of so charming a conveyance. Jane’s
-shoes were pinching me cruelly. I was thinking to myself that since,
-fortunately, I was alone, I should be able to take them off at
-once&mdash;even if I had to enter the house barefooted. The brougham moved
-off. I took it for granted that we had started, and was already
-leaning forward to take off those wretched shoes&mdash;the agony they were
-occasioning me seemed to have suddenly become more intense than
-ever&mdash;when, before we could have gone more than three or four yards,
-with a little jerk we stopped. The door was opened, someone came
-floundering in, the door was shut with a bang; we were off again&mdash;this
-time at a good round pace, which plainly meant business.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-They say that women are fond of italics and notes of exclamation, and
-I daresay I am fonder of them than I ought to be&mdash;it is so convenient
-to put a mark which expresses a great deal without your having to go
-to the trouble of explaining just what. But all the italics and notes
-of exclamation put together would be incapable of even hinting at what
-my feelings were when I realised that the object who had come
-blundering in upon my privacy was the bald-headed creature who had
-been sitting on the other side of the sour little woman. The discovery
-of his identity set my brain&mdash;which had been settling down into a
-condition of normal quiescence&mdash;in a whirl again. Had I been the
-victim of a deep-laid plot? What was the meaning of the wretch’s
-presence there?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-His demeanour, the words with which he addressed me, the
-matter-of-fact air with which he uttered them, made the confusion
-worse confounded.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The idea of finding you in here! Best joke I ever had in my life! You
-little dear!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He put out his hand and felt for mine. I fancy that the rapidity with
-which I withdrew myself as far as possible from him into the opposite
-corner a little startled him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“How dare you intrude yourself in here?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He laughed&mdash;actually laughed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You can carry things off with an air. I thought you could, by the way
-you treated that chap who tried to spoon you&mdash;in the middle of the
-stalls. He had a nerve. It was as good as a play to watch him. Not
-that I blame him for wanting to spoon you&mdash;there isn’t a man living
-who wouldn’t draw a blank cheque for the chance of doing it. You
-little sweet!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I hurled back the hand, which again came out towards me, with a degree
-of force which I imagine rather shook his ancient frame.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Be so good as to stop the carriage, and at once get out!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Get out?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Certainly, sir&mdash;get out!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Get out of my own carriage?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Your own carriage?” A wild thought rushed through my mind. Was it
-possible that that lovely lady could have been playing me a trick? I
-had heard of the deceitfulness of women&mdash;and seen, alas! too much;
-there was a good deal of deceit practised in the bosom of my own
-family, but that would be to surpass all bounds. It was incredible.
-Such double dealing could not be! “It’s not your carriage. It’s the
-brown man’s sister’s!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The brown man’s sister’s? And who is the brown man’s sister? For the
-matter of that, who’s the brown man?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t know her name&mdash;I don’t know either of their names&mdash;but it’s
-hers. I know it’s hers&mdash;she told me it was hers!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Did she? Then she could tell ’em. Some folks can.” He winked at
-me&mdash;one of those disgraceful winks of which he was so fond. “I tell
-you that this carriage is mine&mdash;mine! Or rather, it’s my wife’s. I
-presented it to her&mdash;with my love. If you want to have any peace at
-all you’re obliged to give your wife things&mdash;at intervals. What you’ve
-got to do is to make the intervals as long as you can. Between
-ourselves, my wife is waiting for it now&mdash;on the pavement. She’ll be
-getting anxious. She soon gets anxious, does Maria. When she finds out
-what has become of it&mdash;if she ever does find out&mdash;the mercury’ll run
-up the thermometer at a rate that’ll burst the whole machine. I know.
-I’ve had it happen before, and found it most expensive. That’s when
-the intervals recur.” The dreadful being winked again. “But this time
-I shan’t mind. When I noticed, in the theatre there, the friendly way
-in which you received those little movements of my eyelids I had my
-hopes, but they never went as far as this. You little pet!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Out came the hand, and back it went&mdash;quicker than it came.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Will you keep yourself to yourself, sir? Did you dare for one moment
-to suggest that I encouraged you in your insolent behaviour?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Never know what a woman calls encouragement. But when you find her
-waiting for you in your own wife’s brougham, it does&mdash;well, it does
-look as if something was meant, doesn’t it?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do you venture to insinuate that I got into your wife’s carriage
-knowing it was here, and that you were coming into it?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Now, my dear, don’t let’s ask each other questions. I’m used to being
-put through my catechism; it happens every day of my life. Do let’s be
-sociable.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Be so good as to stop the carriage&mdash;your wife’s carriage&mdash;this
-instant. If you won’t get out of it, I will.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Not if I know it. Now you’re unreasonable. Whatever happens now, I
-shall get it hot. I may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s a matter of complete indifference to me for what you’re hung, so
-long as you are hung. If you won’t stop the carriage, then I shall.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No, you don’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He moved towards me with a degree of agility which was incredible to
-his multitudinous years.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Man!” I cried.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Putting my hand upon his shoulder I drove him back against the
-cushions with a degree of vigour which nearly sent him through them. I
-think it occasioned him surprise. For the moment he seemed to be able
-to do nothing else but gasp.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I daresay I should have stopped the carriage, only just at that moment
-another brougham came tearing along, which, the moment it passed, was
-drawn right across our path. We stopped, perforce, with a jerk, and, I
-suspect, with remarks from our driver. The other stopped also,
-somebody jumped out, and there, standing in the road, looking in at
-us, was the brown man.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch21">
-CHAPTER XXI.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE SINGULAR WOOING</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">He</span> looked very nice&mdash;it is a principle of mine to tell the truth
-always, or, at least, nearly always; so I will go so far as to assert
-that he looked positively delicious. Because he did. He wore no
-overcoat. As he stood at the open door, with his hat in his hand, and
-just that flavour of impertinence about his smile and bearing and
-general deportment which does become some men, he struck me&mdash;even in
-that moment of so many agitations&mdash;not only as being extremely
-good-looking, which he undoubtedly was, but also as one of those
-recklessly, and criminally, delightful persons with whom one could
-hardly help having a really first-rate time. His manner, when he
-spoke, was suavity itself. He had a pleasant voice, and a
-take-it-for-granted air which was in keeping with his mischievous eyes
-and his moustache and his white waistcoat.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I thought it was you.” Did he? How good of him! What business had he
-to think about it at all? “There has been a misunderstanding. My
-sister directed you to the wrong carriage. This is my sister’s
-carriage. May I ask you to take the trouble to transfer yourself to
-it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I hesitated, or I should have hesitated, had it not been for that
-wicked and presumptuous old man.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Who are you, sir? What do you mean by detaining my carriage, sir? Go
-away, sir, and shut the door, and allow my carriage to proceed. This
-lady is with me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She might be, but not intentionally, and the even dim suggestion that
-she was, was sufficient to settle the question on the spot. I paid no
-attention to him whatever. I addressed myself solely and entirely to
-the brown man.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“So kind of you to take so much trouble, and so sweet of your sister
-to let me have her carriage. I expect that the mistake was mine.”
-Though, considering the care she had taken to particularise the
-vehicle which I was to enter, I did not see how that could be, but
-that was by the way. “If I may intrude.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I proceeded to descend. My ancient companion endeavoured to stop me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear young lady, don’t leave me&mdash;only too delighted&mdash;take you
-anywhere!” Then he descended to the vernacular, altogether oblivious
-of the solemn truth that the fact of his having nearly, if not quite,
-attained to the Psalmist’s span should have induced him to pay some
-regard to the proprieties. “It’s hard lines your throwing me over like
-this&mdash;uncommonly hard lines&mdash;especially considering the row I’m booked
-for anyhow. I don’t call it a ladylike thing to do!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-His notions of what was, and of what was not, a ladylike thing to do
-were probably so distinctly his own that they could hardly be expected
-to interest me. At any rate, they did not. I just crossed over to the
-brown man’s sister’s carriage, and left him to formulate&mdash;I believe
-that is the proper word, but if not I cannot help it&mdash;his views on
-ladies and things at his leisure.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was an odd sensation passing from one brougham to the other.
-Broughams with us are represented by vehicles from the livery stables.
-People sometimes, indeed often, take mamma and the girls in their
-broughams; but no one, since I was the merest child, ever betrayed the
-slightest desire to take me&mdash;not even to play the part of gooseberry.
-This unwonted actual anxiety to place absolutely charming conveyances
-at my disposal was most refreshing&mdash;to say no more. I had already been
-in a private omnibus&mdash;which, after all, was not so bad; in that bad
-old man’s wife’s carriage&mdash;which was a pet; and now I was in the most
-scrumptious little vehicle you could possibly imagine&mdash;and all in the
-course of a single evening. If I progressed at this rate I might find
-myself riding in the Lord Mayor’s coach before I went to bed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Before many moments had elapsed, however, it began to dawn upon me
-that, so far as company was concerned, from certainly one point of
-view, I might not have made an altogether felicitous exchange. The
-brown man moved in seven-league boots. Compared to the rapidity of his
-advance, my previous companion had merely stumbled along. But then, of
-course, he was very much older.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-We had been bowling along in silence, and I was beginning to wonder if
-I could possibly be in for a Quaker’s meeting, when my new companion
-put an end to any fears I might have had on that point by saying, in
-the calmest voice in the world, the sort of voice in which he would
-have referred to the possibility of a shower of rain:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I wonder if we can get married in the morning.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I jumped, not boisterously, perhaps, but I certainly did jump.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I beg your pardon?” I observed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I say that I was wondering if we can get married in the morning. My
-uncle’s the Bishop of Battersea. I believe that you can get special
-licences from Bishops and persons of that sort while you wait. I’ve a
-suspicion that he turns in early: he’s that kind of character. The
-question is, whether I shall assail him at this hour of the night, or
-rout him out with the milk in the morning&mdash;which would he dislike
-least? I don’t want to hurt the poor dear man’s feelings more than I
-can help.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was as if a drop of ice-cold water had gone trickling down my
-spinal column. I had to shiver. Could the brown man be insane? And so
-good-looking! I endeavoured&mdash;if such were the case&mdash;to lead him back
-to lines of comparative sanity.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s wonderfully good of your sister to lend me her beautiful
-carriage.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-His answer did startle me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“She didn’t. Don’t suppose it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But&mdash;she offered it to me herself.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s her artfulness. Louisa is artful. When I told her I wanted her
-brougham&mdash;for you; her brougham gives the thing an air&mdash;she said she’d
-see me farther first. So, when I went off to nobble it, waylaying you,
-she carted you off in someone else’s. Very neat indeed&mdash;Louisa’s no
-fool.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This statement of the facts of the case, as they appeared to him, took
-my breath away. It might be true.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then am I to understand that your sister does not know that I am in
-her brougham?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“She knows. You may bet on Louisa’s knowing.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Then am I here contrary to her wish?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What’s the use of worrying about trifles? never do. What’s troubling
-me is the much more serious question as to whether we can be married
-in the morning. The Bishop’s an unmanageable creature. Used to be my
-tutor. Short of throwing things at him, you never could get him to
-behave with decency. You can’t throw things at a Bishop. It’s not good
-form. Do you know anything about that sort of thing?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“About what sort of thing?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Special licences, and so on.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Will you have the kindness to ask your coachman to stop the next cab
-we come to, and I will get into it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I say! Really! You mustn’t talk like that!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It seems to me very much as if I must talk like that. I appear to be
-riding in your sister’s carriage against her wish, and you certainly
-are talking in a strain which would seem to hint at there being
-something the matter with your mental balance. I should be sorry to
-seem discourteous, but I prefer a cab.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He looked at me with his impertinent eyes in a way which made me
-thrill all over. It is entirely impossible for a person like me&mdash;who
-hardly knows one end of a pen from the other, and does not want to&mdash;to
-give an adequate impression of the perfectly charming way in which he
-said the most ridiculous and disgraceful things. I had every intention
-and desire to be angry, but I had to smile.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s the unreasonableness of the world. Everybody&mdash;including
-Louisa, who practically is everybody&mdash;has been urging me for ever so
-long to marry. But I have felt that I had a vocation. Women have
-seemed to me to be good for everything but marrying. Louisa weeps.
-Then, to-night, when I see you at the Imperial, I not only fall in
-love with you&mdash;which is nothing, because I am constantly falling in
-love and out again&mdash;but I am seized with an instant conviction that
-marriage is my vocation. I rush after you to the theatre, where Louisa
-has a box. I say to her, ‘Louisa, I am going to do as you wish, I am
-about to marry!’ She gives a movement which may or may not signify
-satisfaction, and ejaculates, ‘No!’ I retort, ‘Yes! there is the lady
-who is to be my wife!’ And I point you out to her in your place in the
-stalls. She focusses you with her glass, and exclaims ‘Good heavens!’
-Then adds, ‘Who is she?’ ‘I have not the faintest notion who she is,’
-I explain, ‘I only know that she is going to be&mdash;my wife.’ Louisa
-looks up at me and demands, ‘Are you mad?’ There&mdash;to return to my
-former position&mdash;is the unreasonableness of the world. Louisa hints
-insanity because I am unable to accede to her wishes; when I am, she
-calls me mad. I ask you if there is any reason why you should not be
-my wife?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Rather! To enter for a moment into your mood&mdash;is there any reason why
-I should?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Manifold obvious reasons. First, I love, which is a bourgeois reason
-perhaps. Then, I am rich, which again is a little bourgeois; but still
-sound reason. I am young, sound of mind, hale of body, not
-ill-looking, of decent reputation, easy temper. Happiness is but a
-word, meaning different things in different mouths. Yet it’s but the
-simple truth that I can offer you all that the heart of a woman can
-desire&mdash;when she marries.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You seem to have a tolerable opinion of yourself.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Why not? Yet I have a higher opinion still of you.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I doubt it. I am wondering if you are supposing that I have recently
-escaped from a lunatic asylum, or if it is the fact that you have.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t say that you see sanity only in the commonplace. That were to
-rank yourself too violently with Louisa.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“And this is Louisa’s carriage, if, as you pretend, that is your
-sister’s name. I have already asked you to let me get out of it into a
-cab. Where is the man driving? I don’t believe that this is the way to
-Kensington.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Why should it be the way to Kensington?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Why! Because I live there. Didn’t you hear the address I gave you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But my address is in Berkeley Square.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“<i>Your</i> address! What has <i>your</i> address to do with me?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Since it is also to be yours, does not the question seem a trifle
-crude?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Your address is to be mine? What do you mean?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I trust that you are sufficiently old-fashioned to consent to share
-your husband’s home.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My husband’s home! Have you dared to tell the man to drive me to your
-house?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“The notion’s this: that you will consent to accept the shelter of my
-roof while I rout out the Bishop, so that we may be married in the
-morning. It may seem to be pressing matters on a trifle hastily, to
-ask you to permit yourself to be ‘wooed and married and all’ inside of
-half-a-dozen hours. But I’ve a feeling strong upon me that this is a
-business which were well done if it were done quickly. If we delay
-there’ll be a hundred thousand reasons buzzing about our ears, to
-sting us as if they were mosquitoes. While, if we’re married, there’ll
-be no sting left in them. They’ll only buzz. And of that they’ll soon
-grow tired.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I believe that you’re stark mad. You’re worse than that wicked old
-man. And I thought you were a gentleman. Will you tell the
-coachman&mdash;at once!&mdash;to drive me straight home.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear lady, permit me to ask your name. It’s a disadvantage to a
-man not to know the name of the lady he’s about to marry.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I certainly will not tell you my name. Will you do as I ask you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am your devoted slave, only do not treat me with too much
-harshness. This is a critical moment in my life: my fate hangs in the
-balance. Let us approach the consideration of our respective destinies
-with dispassionate calmness, with open minds. Let us be careful to
-avoid anything which may have the appearance of heat.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As I caught his eye, I was surer than ever that he was laughing at me.
-He might have been an altogether delightful individual&mdash;I am offering
-no suggestion that he was not; but his barefaced impudence and brazen
-audacity were beyond anything I had ever conceived as possible. I saw
-that I should find myself in a pretty position if I did not look
-out&mdash;and quickly too. I had had such a dry-as-dust existence; here was
-the promise of adventure, if you liked. And I do not mind owning that
-there flashed through my mind a wild idea of seeing the adventure to a
-finish, of trusting him, of allowing him to take the arbitrament of my
-fate in his two hands, if that avuncular Bishop could only be
-persuaded to prove amenable&mdash;of permitting him to marry me in the
-morning. What a courtship it would have been! and what a wedding! What
-a nine days’ wonder! What would the girls have said? and mamma? and
-the five&mdash;particularly Walter Hammond, when he learnt how somebody
-else had taken a leaf out of his very own book, and made the running
-with a vengeance? His sister’s face&mdash;what sort of an expression would
-have been on that when she learnt the use which had been made of her
-brougham?&mdash;and what kind of an opinion would she have had of me?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He was a very magnetic person&mdash;by far the most magnetic I ever had
-encountered. As one became more and more conscious of his supremely
-attractive personality&mdash;as one could not help but do&mdash;there was
-something fascinating even about his topsy-turvy way of putting
-things. If I had surrendered myself to the magic of his influence,
-what would have happened? What would have been the issue of the
-night’s adventures? If I had! But I did not. I gave myself, as it
-were, a mental pinch, and I put my head out of the window, and I
-called to the driver.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch22">
-CHAPTER XXII.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">I BEHAVE LIKE A GOOSE</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-“<span class="sc">Coachman</span>!” I cried. The driver reined in his horse. “Where are you
-taking me?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Home, my lady.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Home? To whose home? To my home?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“To His Grace’s, my lady&mdash;Chelmsford House.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He called me “my lady,” and spoke of “His Grace,” and of Chelmsford
-House. Then the brown man must be the Duke of Chelmsford? No woman can
-suddenly awake to the fact that she has been in the society of a real
-live duke&mdash;and such a duke&mdash;without becoming conscious of a singular
-something. I withdrew my head from the window with a sort of spasmodic
-rush.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Are you the Duke of Chelmsford?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am; and hope that you will shortly be the Duchess.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The Duchess! the Duchess of Chelmsford! the consort of the richest
-duke in the world, and, as my own eyes told me&mdash;the very handsomest;
-the queen of English society&mdash;palaces and lands just everywhere&mdash;the
-world at my feet, ready, willing, eager to do me homage&mdash;me! Small
-wonder that everything seemed all at once to be going round. Was it
-possible that the greatest of life’s prizes&mdash;from every sensible
-woman’s point of view&mdash;was being offered me? that I was actually being
-entreated to accept it? This was something like an adventure.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The brown man’s&mdash;I mean the Duke’s&mdash;voice came to my still startled
-ear.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You’ll find being a Duchess rather a bore. The natural boredom, to
-which all flesh is heir, will afflict you in an accentuated form. But
-you’ll get used to it. Use is by way of being a universal panacea.
-Then you’ll discover that it’s a sort of boredom which you have rather
-grown to like. My mother used to say she had.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I turned the handle of the door, and, without a word, stepped out into
-the road. So soon as I stood upright I realised that I was trembling
-from head to foot. I wondered, hazily, if I was going to be silly;
-dimly aware that it was an absurdly inconvenient place in which to
-make a fuss. Instantly the brown man&mdash;I mean the Duke&mdash;was at my side.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Why have you got out here? You prefer to walk the remainder of the
-distance? It’s fine for walking. My house&mdash;our house&mdash;is but over the
-way.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Will you please tell me where is the nearest place at which I can
-find a cab?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I know little of that part of London. Especially is it strange to me
-at night. We seemed to be in a great square, with huge houses all
-round it, and a fine wide road, which, apparently, we had all to
-ourselves.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“We shall not need one, it is but a step.” Then, I suppose, he
-perceived that I was looking queer, because all at once his tone
-became solicitous. “May I beg you to accept my arm. Has anything
-distressed you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I want a cab,” was all that I could murmur.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-What he would have said I do not know. Before he could speak another
-brougham came bowling along. It stopped just by us, and out of it&mdash;of
-all persons in the world&mdash;walked that wicked old man. He marched
-straight up to where we were standing&mdash;as if he had the slightest
-ground for interference. What he imagined had occurred I, of course,
-cannot say; but he addressed us in a truly remarkable strain.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Just what I expected&mdash;knew I should find this sort of thing going on.
-If you had asked me, you would have been warned in time. You young
-people are never able to judge for yourselves whom you can trust. Now,
-my dear young lady, you would have seen how much wiser you would have
-been if you had remained with me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Who is this gentleman?” inquired the Duke.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t know who he is&mdash;I don’t want to have anything to do with
-him&mdash;he’s no acquaintance of mine&mdash;I wish he’d go away!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-That old man actually dared to pretend to be hurt by my repudiation of
-him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“There now, listen to that! And, for all I know, my wife’s still
-standing on the pavement waiting for her carriage; while, at this hour
-of the night, I’ve been following this ungrateful girl in it like
-a&mdash;like a&mdash;like a true friend. And I arrive at the moment when the
-protection of a true friend is most needed, and this is the welcome I
-receive. There’s nothing so ungrateful as a young girl&mdash;especially
-when gratitude is owing to a man of my years. But, my dear young lady,
-I will forgive you everything; so come back to my carriage and don’t
-let us trouble this young gentleman any further.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-His fingers fastened about my arm. I shrunk back.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t touch me.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The Duke, placing himself between us, spoke to that horrid old wretch.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Have the goodness not to allow us to detain you any longer.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I believe there would have been a scene before we could have got rid
-of him, because, so far as I could see, he showed no sign of budging,
-and every second I was growing queerer and queerer. Something inside
-of me seemed to have escaped from my control, so that I could not pull
-myself together and behave like a reasonable being. Just as I was
-beginning to be afraid that I should have to sit down in the middle of
-the road, or do something else equally insane, up dashed another
-vehicle. I believe it was a hansom cab, but as I was seeing everything
-through a kind of mist, I could not be sure. Anyhow, out of it jumped
-the brown man’s sister. I thought her voice, as it reached my dulling
-ears, was the pleasantest I had heard that night. After all, there is
-nothing like a woman, when you have had enough of men.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“So I’ve found you, have I? Pray, what’s doing now? Bernard, what
-fresh freak are you indulging in?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Louisa, will you take this lady to Chelmsford House. I fear she’s
-feeling tired. There are a few words which I must say to this
-gentleman.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I felt the brown man’s sister’s arm go round my waist; it was so nice.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Tired? You poor child! You’ve upset her with your nonsense. Bernard!
-quick! help me with her to the carriage. Who are all these people who
-are coming?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“All these people” were the five. They came clattering up
-together&mdash;the four in the omnibus, Walter Hammond alone in a hansom
-cab. I fancy that there was a fine to-do. But it was lost on me. For
-the first time in my life I was behaving like a goose&mdash;in the Duke of
-Chelmsford’s arms.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-So I rode home in the brown man’s sister’s brougham.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch23">
-CHAPTER XXIII.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">“UNTIL?”</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">And</span> what a time I did have of it when I did get home, attended by an
-entire retinue. Mamma was sitting up for me, and Audrey, and also
-Jane. What a sensation my arrival caused, and were there not alarms
-and excursions. It must have been a singular procession, especially
-when one considers that for our part of the world it was a trifle
-late. I with the brown man’s sister in her brougham, the Duke in his
-sister’s cab, Walter Hammond in his own hansom, that bad old man in
-his wife’s carriage&mdash;he insisted on following in that injured female’s
-vehicle to my very doorstep,&mdash;the four in their omnibus. I daresay
-that remarks were made which would have been worth reporting. But I
-was beyond the reporting stage.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Was I not glad to find myself alone again in my own shabby little
-bedroom, and rid of Jane. It was not an easy task to be rid of Jane.
-Had I not got my foot against the door the instant I was through it, I
-should hardly have been rid of her at all. As it was, she tapped
-unceasingly at the panels, imploring from without to be allowed to
-assist me to undress. She had assisted me to dress; that was
-sufficient, at any rate, for me. But it was no use telling her so; in
-tones which grew more and more lachrymose she continued to entreat for
-some time after I had declined to indulge in further parley.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-What a relief it was to sit on the edge of the bed and get Jane’s
-shoes off&mdash;at last! I should have liked to have dropped on to the
-counterpane, and gone to sleep just as I was; I was so tired. When one
-is accustomed to retire early&mdash;I was generally in bed and fast asleep
-hours before the others were&mdash;and to no excitement, to have so much
-excitement crammed into a single night is fatiguing. I know I found it
-so. It was only because my conscience would not let me get into bed
-with my clothes on that I undressed at all. As I struggled with
-refractory tapes and buttons&mdash;and they were all refractory then&mdash;I
-told myself that I was an idiot to allow myself to be a slave to
-habit, and call it conscience, when my eyes would not keep open.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Yet when I got into bed, with my clothes honestly off, I could not
-sleep. I suppose I was over-tired. I certainly was over-tired. Like a
-constantly shifting phantasmagoria, the events of the night passed
-backwards and forwards through my brain. It was such an upheaval of
-the whole course of nature that I should be courted, a thing to be
-desired by men. Since what time? Since, say three o’clock, the whole
-world, so far as I was concerned, had been turned upside down; the
-order of nature had been changed, a miracle had been worked&mdash;I had
-become all those things which I had never been before. That it was no
-delusion, I, and others, had had assurance enough and to spare. I had
-seen it in the way in which men looked at me, in the way in which they
-spoke to me, hunted me when they could. In plain English, it seemed as
-if I had acquired a sudden capacity to drive men mad. I had always
-suspected that not much was required to do that. Now it appeared that
-it only needed me. There was proof plain as Holy Writ that the writing
-on the paper&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-At the thought of the scrap of paper, I was out of bed again in half a
-twinkling, nearly wide awake. Where was it? I re-lit the gas, looked
-for it, found it still among the litter on the dressing-table. There
-was the mystic, magic, incredible sentence, in the small clear
-writing, which somehow reminded me of the writing in which they put
-one’s name upon one’s visiting-card.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Your wish shall be gratified until&mdash;&mdash;”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Until?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Why, surely, when I saw it last no “until” was there. It certainly was
-not when I saw it first. Was the sentence really still being written?
-Then the scribe was pretty slow. If such were the case what was to
-follow after “until”?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Until”&mdash;satiety ensued, and I had had enough of it? Could I turn off
-my power at pleasure, and, having done so, turn it on again? How?
-Would the secret of that somewhat delicate operation also be revealed?
-“Until”&mdash;I was married? I might be married in a few hours, if I chose,
-to the Duke of Chelmsford, that deliciously impertinent brown man.
-Should I not be able to crow over mamma and the girls if I were? Would
-it not be a magnificent instance of Cinderella up-to-date? Though no
-one could speak of the girls as “ugly sisters.” “Until”&mdash;I was old?
-Some people might regard twenty-two as old. I myself sometimes feel as
-if bowed down by the weight of years. What was the period in life at
-which it was universally agreed that folks were old, even by the folks
-themselves? I knew that mamma considered herself quite young. If it
-were left to me to fix the age at which I might be reckoned old, I
-might say after the expiration of a century, and, even from the little
-I had seen of things, I believe that some people esteemed themselves
-comparatively juvenile even then. Fancy men of all ranks and ages
-making love to a real old lady! Would it not be dreadful? “Until”&mdash;I
-died? I was not sure that I should like to be regarded as an object of
-desire by every male creature I encountered, quite until the end. I
-might have had a great deal more than enough of them long ere that.
-Especially if they continued to press themselves upon me as eagerly as
-they had done that night. Indeed, it was extremely probable, if only
-death could put a period to their persecution, that I might welcome
-with rapture a suicide’s grave.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I put out the gas again, and, with the scrap of paper between my
-fingers, returned to bed, the problem of the unfinished sentence yet
-unsolved. And I have a vague idea that I fell fast asleep as soon as I
-was between the sheets a second time&mdash;the missing words still missing.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch24">
-CHAPTER XXIV.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE FINISHED SENTENCE</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">For</span> some moments I could not think what had happened. I had just
-been eloping with the Duke of Chelmsford, and because several men had
-maintained that he ought to do nothing of the kind, he had put me in
-his pocket&mdash;which was not anything like large enough&mdash;and thrown
-Jane’s crimson shoes into his sister’s face, who had thereupon changed
-into a horse&mdash;with Walter Hammond’s head, on which he had sprung; and,
-galloping down the racecourse, had dragged me from his pocket&mdash;with
-much difficulty!&mdash;and married me in the middle of the grand stand. I
-felt, even in my sleep, that this was a surprising way for a person to
-behave, and that I had a grievance, when all at once I became
-conscious of Audrey’s face bent over my bed, and of the fact that she
-was shaking me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do you know what time it is?” I did not, and did not care. I fancy I
-signified as much. “It’s half-past eleven, and already people have
-come to see you.” Still I was indifferent: as yet the statement
-conveyed no meaning. “How are you feeling?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Cheap.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey laughed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“That’s lack of experience, my dear. Though it’s true that the more
-expensive a night one has, the more economical one feels in the
-morning&mdash;especially, I fancy, when it’s a woman in the case. Though
-I’ve known men who suffered. But you did have a good time&mdash;didn’t
-you?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Don’t ask me. I suppose I did&mdash;but&mdash;at present&mdash;I’m not quite sure.
-It was a little nightmarey.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey was still. Although my eyes were closed I was oddly conscious
-that hers were searching my face with a curious scrutiny. And,
-somehow, I seemed to know that what she saw there made her sorry, but
-whether for herself or for me I could not tell.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I fancy that everyone must have been a wee bit mad&mdash;yesterday.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-There was an inflection in her voice which caused me to look up.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Mad? Yes; I think they must have been!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Some of Puck’s magic powder must have got into their eyes, so that
-they saw things as they did in that wood near Athens. Perhaps they’ll
-have got it out to-day.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Perhaps.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Again she looked at me, and, as I was looking at her, this time I saw
-that there was trouble in her eyes, trouble which seemed to grow as
-she looked. Stooping, she kissed me, saying something which I did not
-understand at all.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Never mind, Norah; we’ve all got our burdens to bear. It’s a pretty
-hard world for feminine things. Shall I tell those people you cannot
-see them, that you’re not feeling well? You don’t seem quite up to the
-mark, you know.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Am I looking ill?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No&mdash;not ill&mdash;exactly. You’re like your ordinary self: and&mdash;last
-night&mdash;you hardly were.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-This time something in her words, her tone, her manner, did give me a
-hint of what it was she meant. As I began to perceive what it was she
-wanted me to understand I became conscious of a tightness about the
-region of the heart, as if it had been suddenly weighted with lead.
-She saw it was so, because she kissed me again.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Shall I send them away?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-While I hesitated, because the thought which she had presented to my
-mind had left me for the moment speechless, mamma came into the room.
-The instant she spoke, it was plain that she had heard what Audrey had
-said:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“They won’t go,” she began. “I can’t think what people are coming to
-nowadays&mdash;never saw such manners in my life&mdash;if those men were
-crossing-sweepers they could not behave worse!&mdash;and I’m not sure that
-some of them are much better! One of them has the assurance to call
-himself the Duke of Chelmsford. Quite apart from anything else, the
-fact of his being so extremely good-looking proclaims him an impostor.
-All dukes are notoriously ugly. Norah, I insist upon your telling me
-what is the meaning of these proceedings.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey answered for me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“My dear mamma, since Norah is scarcely awake I can’t see how you can
-expect her to explain what she herself as yet knows nothing about.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Mamma pretended to be angry with Audrey, which was a most unusual
-thing, for no one was ever angry with Audrey long.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It’s no use your endeavouring to palliate Norah’s conduct, Audrey&mdash;I
-won’t have it!&mdash;I have had too much of it already!&mdash;I don’t like the
-attitude you have taken up in the matter!&mdash;it doesn’t become you!
-Norah’s behaviour is beyond my comprehension&mdash;look at the scene last
-night! And now here are these men&mdash;strange men!&mdash;at this unseemly hour
-of the morning, demanding to see her as if they were presenting a
-pistol at my head. I will not keep silent and allow scandal to be
-brought upon my house. Tell me at once, Norah, who is this person who
-calls himself the Duke of Chelmsford?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“He is the Duke of Chelmsford, mamma.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“How do you know? And how did you become acquainted with him, if he
-is&mdash;you, of all the people in the world?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“He introduced himself to me last night.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Introduced himself to you!&mdash;a man in his position!&mdash;to you! Where
-were those other men that such a thing should have been possible?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I sighed, at least I made a noise which I suppose may be described as
-a sigh, though it has always seemed to me to be rather a poetic word
-to apply to the sort of gasping sound one makes when one feels that
-other people are just a trifle stupid.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“It would take me a good time to explain, mamma, and then perhaps you
-wouldn’t understand.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Indeed, though that’s a remark which no girl ought to make to her
-mother, I daresay it’s true enough; the whole thing’s beyond my
-understanding. Ever since yesterday afternoon I’ve been asking myself
-if the whole world’s gone mad. And now that I look at you I ask myself
-more than ever. No man has ever seen anything in you except two eyes
-and a nose, and now what they think they see in you all of a sudden is
-beyond me altogether. What you say about her having changed, Audrey,
-is just nonsense, except it’s changed for the worse&mdash;unless you wish
-to insinuate that my eyesight’s failing me. She’s always been a plain
-girl&mdash;the only one of my family!&mdash;and she’s a plain woman&mdash;without
-even that kind of plainness which is interesting. And what you wish me
-to understand by talking about her having changed sufficiently to
-account for the behaviour of those men, as I say, unless I’m going
-blind, it’s balderdash you’re talking. She’s a fright, just that, and
-nothing more; and it’s a bad day when I, her mother, that never had a
-child except her that wasn’t fit for framing&mdash;have to say it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-During the utterance of these very outspoken remarks, I knew&mdash;although
-I was not looking&mdash;that Audrey was making signs to mamma to be a
-little careful in her choice of words; signs which, apparently, mamma
-preferred to ignore&mdash;feeling, possibly, that, under the circumstances,
-to spare my feelings was to spoil the child. When mamma had quite
-finished then I did turn towards Audrey, and when I caught her eyes
-she smiled, there was no mistake about her being a picture well worth
-framing!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Never mind what mamma says,” she whispered.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I don’t,” I replied, with perfect candour, and equal truth. “I never
-do.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Of course the confession was not lost upon mamma.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“If I’d spoken to my mother like that, in her presence, she’d have
-beaten me; but, in those days, daughters used to look upon a mother as
-a parent. Now, she might as well be the cattle in the field. And the
-consequences of it will be, Norah O’Brady, that you may as well go
-clerking, or companion to an old lady, or something equally as
-degrading to your father’s child, for all the chances you’ll ever have
-of getting decently settled in life&mdash;in spite of all the half-witted
-men who’re invading my house at this time of the morning. And what it
-is that I’m to do with them, I’d like to know.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Audrey repeated the question which I had left unanswered.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Shall I send them away?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I hesitated, searching her face for what was written on it. It was
-with a fresh sinking of the heart that I understood, or thought I did.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“No; let them wait. I will be as quick as I can, and come down to
-them. It will be better to get it over.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-She stooped down and whispered in my ear, so that, this time, I was
-the only one who heard:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Men are the least dependable of all God’s creatures. You mustn’t
-mind.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was a cryptic utterance&mdash;to those who were without the key, which I
-fancied that I had. She took mamma away with her. I was left alone.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The instant they were gone I brought up, from between the sheets, a
-scrap of paper&mdash;<i>the</i> scrap. I had taken it with me to bed. All night
-long, it seemed, I had held it in my hand, clutched between my
-fingers. I had thought of it the moment I supposed myself to have an
-idea of Audrey’s meaning; and, feeling it there, had realised how
-close a neighbour it had been while I had slept. It was all crumpled.
-I smoothed it out, and looked. The writing had grown faint; so faint
-as to suggest that the writer must have used ink of a very evanescent
-quality. Already, here and there, the words could scarcely be
-deciphered.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-But the sentence was finished!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-How, while I had slept, the finish had been arrived at, or by whom, I
-could not tell. The result was unmistakable. My doom stared me in the
-face; my forebodings were realised; the meaning of what I had seen in
-Audrey’s eyes, heard in her voice, was made quite plain.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Your wish shall be gratified until to-morrow.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“To-morrow” had been the missing word&mdash;that was, to-day. My wish was
-to be gratified until to-day, which meant that all the gratification I
-was to receive&mdash;so far as that particular wish was concerned&mdash;I had
-already had. What was my wish exactly? I should not have liked to have
-had to answer the question on my oath. I had been talking pretty
-wildly at the time! But, so far as I could remember, I wished that all
-men&mdash;every man&mdash;might fall in love with me at sight. As, lying there,
-in cold blood&mdash;metaphorically, in very cold blood, indeed!&mdash;I
-endeavoured to recall it, as accurately as I could, what a singular
-wish it seemed, to say the very least!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-And it had been gratified? And now it was done with? Dear! dear! what
-a very short span of enjoyment had been allotted me. What a very small
-result the boon which had been conferred had ended in. Was that the
-meaning of the feeling I was conscious of&mdash;that I had returned again
-to what I was? It certainly was true that I was oppressed by an
-apprehension, which was near akin to fear, that since last night
-something had been lost, that something had gone from me, which I had
-when I laid down to sleep&mdash;gone, never to return. What could it be? It
-was not that I was ill, or tired, or&mdash;as I had pretended to
-Audrey&mdash;even cheap. It was nothing half so commonplace.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I got out of bed, and, as I did so, I felt that virtue had gone from
-me; life, that ichor of the gods which had been in my veins last night
-instead of blood. I had hit it&mdash;I was as one of the gods&mdash;the writer
-of the sentence on that scrap of paper alone knew how&mdash;and was again
-but mortal. Between sleeping and waking, I had come down the Olympian
-hill, slung down, rather, been kicked down, perhaps, amid the jeers
-and jesting of the rightful inhabitants; and at the very, very foot
-was once more&mdash;Norah O’Brady.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I needed not the assurance of the mirror. Had I done so, I had it,
-beyond all possibility of controverting. The face I saw in it was the
-one I had always seen; not the one that had seemed to blaze at me
-yester afternoon. The light had gone from the eyes; the flare, a mere
-glimpse of which&mdash;as, somehow, I had known&mdash;would set the most
-sluggish blood in masculine veins flaming as with fire; and, with it,
-all had gone. There was but left the plain, uninteresting,
-undistinguished, unintellectual face of overgrown Norah O’Brady.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I dressed. How shabby my things did seem, unusually shabby, even for
-me. Ill-shaped, ill-fitting, with about them, every one, that
-exasperating suggestion of having been intended for someone else.
-Always, everything I had, seemed to shout at me, with furious
-grievance, that it might have looked presentable if only it had been
-worn by a creature different entirely to me. If they had only let me
-choose my own things, and, regardless of what was, or was not, the
-mode, have permitted me to clothe myself in the garments in which I
-looked least awkward; at any rate, my actual deficiencies might not
-have been quite so obtrusive. But, in continual parodies of the
-fashions of the moment&mdash;which went very well with them, but, oh! so
-horribly with me&mdash;what a fright they made me look.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch25">
-CHAPTER XXV.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">THE BROWN MAN’S APOLOGY</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">As</span> I went down the stairs, dressed&mdash;if you could call it dressed&mdash;at
-last, how hideously conscious I was that I presented a spectacle of
-all that was least desirable in womanhood. Long familiarity with the
-fact had hardened me. I take it that no feminine thing becomes
-completely reconciled to the accident that she is not physically
-prepossessing. Women who are plain sometimes do not realise their
-plainness. I daresay that is true. Or they may cherish a hope that, in
-the eyes of someone, some day, they may not be plain. If, fatherless,
-brotherless, they live with five lovely sisters, and a still
-good-looking mother&mdash;who esteems beauty the only thing which is worth
-a woman’s having&mdash;both these consolations will be denied them. Long
-before they have reached years of maturity, they will have learnt,
-with that absolute certainty of conviction which leaves no room
-whatever for doubt, that they are ugly ducklings, and that, for such
-as they, this world has no good things; that, indeed, it is as sure as
-that the sky is above the earth, that none but idiots, or worse, will
-ever esteem them for themselves alone. And, though they become
-accustomed to this knowledge, and so pachydermatous, in a sense, there
-are occasions when the actualities of their position are as pin-pricks
-to make them wince as eagerly as if their skins had never been tanned,
-by the laying on of innumerable stripes, into hide at all.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The descent of the stairs which divided my bedroom from the
-drawing-room was one of those occasions. Worse luck for me. In the
-drawing-room were the men who had been the worshippers of the girl who
-was&mdash;last night; come, at that matutinal hour, to render her the
-proofs of their devotion. Going to them was the girl who was to-day;
-that grotesque caricature of the being they had known, and of whom
-they apparently still dreamed. Clearly, it was doubtful if this was a
-case in which they would perceive that it was “better to have loved
-and lost, than never to have loved at all.” No man cherishes a
-sentimental pang when he discovers that he has been deluded into
-loving a female Bottom in an ass’s head. The humour of the situation
-would probably appeal to them so much more strongly than to me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Half-way down I encountered Jane, who, I rather suspect, had been
-keeping herself handy in the possible expectation of such an
-encounter. At sight of me she gave a jump.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Lor’! Miss Norah, whatever has come to you! I shouldn’t hardly ever
-have known you; you look so different&mdash;really, I shouldn’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Do I look different? How?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I was curious to learn how the matter appeared to her. Her way of
-seeing it might be as a straw to guide me as to the quarter from which
-I might expect the wind to blow in the interview to which I was
-advancing. Her eyes travelled over my features in stolid, observant
-fashion, as if she were searching out the peculiarities of a wooden
-figurehead.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Really, miss, I couldn’t hardly say&mdash;I really couldn’t; though such
-a difference I never see. It’s more than a difference; you don’t seem
-as if you was the same person&mdash;that you don’t.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But I assure you that I am.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Excuse me, Miss Norah, but that you aren’t&mdash;you are not, really.
-Leastways, not so far as looks is concerned. If you could see yourself
-as you looked last night, and as you looks now, you yourself wouldn’t
-say you was the same&mdash;I don’t believe you would, really.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was encouraging to receive such a testimonial from Jane, especially
-as on her countenance sincerity was written large, and surprise, and,
-I rather fancied&mdash;it might have been only fancy, but I doubt
-it&mdash;disappointment too. If the alteration were so apparent to Jane,
-the not inhumanly critical, with what appalling obviousness would they
-not strike the keen-sighted gentlemen who awaited me in the
-drawing-room, and whose voices I already heard. The same reflection
-actually occurred to the handmaid of the crimson slippers&mdash;at the
-recollection of their splendours they still seemed to pinch me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Whatever them there gentlemen will say when they see you looking like
-that, Miss Norah, I can’t think; and there is a few of ’em. There’s a
-bald-headed old party what give me a sovereign to show him in without
-announcing him.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“A bald-headed old party?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“‘Never mind my name,’ he says. ‘You show me straight in without
-announcing me, and here’s a sovereign for you.’ So I showed him in,
-because sovereigns aren’t lying about all over the place, not in this
-house they aren’t. Though I should like to know what he thinks he’s
-after, with no more hair on his head than a yellow Bramah egg.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I felt that I also should like to know. Was it possible that that
-hoary reprobate had not yet repented of his last night’s misdoings.
-Jane went on to say something which nearly caused me to tumble down
-the remainder of the stairs.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“But the one that takes my fancy is him with the moustaches. Now, he
-is something like a man. If he’d been took clean out of a picture he
-couldn’t have been more what he ought to be.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“With the moustaches?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-My thoughts recurred to the Duke of Chelmsford. Was he, in Jane’s
-estimation, something like a man? But it seemed that I was on the
-wrong scent.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Him with the moustaches what turns up at the ends like as if they was
-ramrods. If he isn’t a soldier it ain’t for want of looking it.
-Splendid, I call him. Then look at the height of him&mdash;regular
-monument, as you might say. And that straight! Then them there eyes of
-his!&mdash;ain’t they eyes? I never! When they looked at me they made me go
-all over&mdash;really they did. And I’ve not got over the feeling now&mdash;that
-I haven’t. It’s my opinion, and always has been, that some of them
-foreign men is better grown than some of our English.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Foreign men?”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-A premonitory something was beginning to chill me about the centre of
-the back.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“He speaks with a foreign accent&mdash;lovely accent, I call it&mdash;that
-musical. And he’s got a way about him which makes you think, for all
-his being such a great big giant of a man, that if he was to take you
-in his arms he would be tender.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Jane! You shouldn’t say such things!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Well, miss, I am but human, as the saying is; and if I was going into
-the drawing-room to see a man like him, rather than look a fright I’d
-put something on my face, or do something to myself somehow, for look
-different to what you’re looking now that I would&mdash;no matter how I
-done it.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-With those last words of cheering advice Jane passed up the stairs,
-presumably to pursue her professional avocations. She would never have
-dared to say such a thing to one of the girls, but to me it always
-seems that everyone says just anything. That splendid person, with the
-moustaches turned up at the ends like ramrods, and the eyes, and the
-foreign accent&mdash;could he be that imposing dignitary of the Imperial
-Hotel? Had he had the audacity to trace me to my own home&mdash;and call on
-me? A waiter! What a cosmopolitan assembly appeared to be gathered
-together in the drawing-room.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The voices within seemed raised. Walter Hammond’s and Basil Carter’s
-voices were very audible. I fancied I heard also the “lovely” accent
-of which Jane had spoken. Mamma was unmistakable. It appeared that an
-argument was taking place inside, which was growing warmer by rapid
-degrees, with the promise of becoming, at an early moment, absolutely
-hot. Just as I reached the door, and was about to turn the handle, it
-was opened from within, with something of a flourish. I chose to take
-it as having been opened for me, and walked straight in.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-My appearance created a sensation, that I needed no one to tell me.
-Still less did I need to be told that it was a sensation of a curious
-kind. An argument had been taking place which bore a tolerable
-imitation to something else. That was plain. It seemed probable that
-pressure had been brought to bear upon the dignitary of the Imperial
-Hotel to induce him to take himself away, and that that pressure had
-been applied in vain. Basil Carter had his hand upon the door-knob,
-his air suggesting something more than command, while there was
-something in Walter Hammond’s attitude which hinted at measures of a
-distinctly vigorous kind. Had I not arrived just then, I am inclined
-to think that steps would very shortly have been taken to bring that
-dignitary of the Imperial Hotel to a proper sense of his position.
-Considering his physique, it is tolerably certain that those who
-undertook the task of persuasion might have found that there were
-difficulties in the way. So far as I could judge&mdash;and I had pretty
-good opportunities&mdash;he was not the least collected person present.
-When I entered, he stood about the centre of the room, his hat and
-stick in one hand, a bunch of flowers in the other. Even in height he
-towered above Walter Hammond, who was no dwarf, while, so far as girth
-went, he would easily have made two of any of the others. He was
-smiling on his company, and I am afraid even on mamma, in a manner
-which was hardly deferential; but when he saw me he commenced to
-salute me with a bow of the deepest deference.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I say commenced, because he actually got no farther than what I should
-call the impulse. He began, but in the very act of beginning, as it
-were, stopped short, as if something which he saw in me had stricken
-him with temporary paralysis&mdash;paralysis which was decidedly not the
-result of a flattering cause. He was, possibly by profession&mdash;for a
-waiter must know how to control his countenance&mdash;a master of the art
-of keeping his feelings out of his face. That he was surprised, I was
-uncomfortably convinced&mdash;surprised almost to the verge of being
-dumfounded. Yet he managed to prevent that fact being betrayed by his
-features. His expression, so to speak, was held in suspense. But
-presently it became eloquent enough.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I have heard something about the insolence of foreigners. I know a
-girl who has lived most of her life abroad, and I have heard her say
-that while foreigners are the politest creatures on earth, they are
-the most insolent too. I had an example of it then. That sublimated
-person of the waiter class had evidently expected to see one kind of a
-girl, and actually saw another. For a moment or two he was still,
-looking me, all the while, full in the face. Then he smiled, not only
-at me, but also at the others, and he said, his slightly foreign
-accent emphasising his sneering intention:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“What a difference between the night and the morning!”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Swinging the flowers which he held in his hand, which had certainly
-been intended for me, he marched past me, straight out of the room,
-without another word, still smiling. As he opened the hall-door to let
-himself out, he laughed&mdash;such a laugh!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I knew, as well as if I had seen him do it, that as soon as he was
-down the steps, he threw the flowers which had been meant for me out
-into the street.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Had he struck me across the face with his stick, he could not have
-branded me with a more distinctive mark of ignominy&mdash;he, a waiter! The
-charm of it was, that no one showed the slightest sign of resenting
-his behaviour. I was speechless. I had anticipated some difficulty
-with my tongue, but in the presence of that sublimity of insult, it
-refused to do its office altogether. My confusion was rendered worse
-confounded by the horrible embarrassment of the men by whom I found
-myself confronted. Their astonishment at the personality which my
-entrance had discovered&mdash;in such bewildering contrast to the glorious
-being of whom they had dreamed&mdash;was evidently so great as to be beyond
-their capacity of concealment. It not only robbed them of their
-senses, but also of their manners. They offered me no sort of
-greeting, not acknowledging my presence by a word or movement, but
-could only stand and stare and gasp, probably anathematising
-themselves internally for the crassness of their folly.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Those well-bred gentlemen!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The continued silence became so hideous that it had to be broken, even
-though I had to break it myself. I could not stay there and petrify
-before their stony gaze. It cost me a severe muscular spasm to break
-loose from the trammels of the sort of tetanus by which I was
-afflicted. And when I did the result was ludicrously inadequate. My
-intention was to be garrulous, a lava stream of words. All I could say
-was this:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“You don’t want me. I needn’t stay.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was true, the concentrated essence of truth. But as an illustration
-of the resources of the English language, it seemed hardly equal to
-the occasion. It was such a stupid, such an uncouth, thing to say&mdash;so
-utterly in character. The consciousness that this was so&mdash;that I was,
-by the decree of nature, a stupid, uncouth, gawky idiot&mdash;was the last
-straw. I turned to make my way out of the room as best I could.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-My turning woke, at least, one of the gentlemen to some sense of the
-requirements of his position&mdash;the brown man. He had shown himself,
-last night, to be the owner of considerable stores of presence of
-mind; he proved, now, that he possessed some remnants still&mdash;even
-though they were, as remnants are apt to be, of somewhat dubious
-quality. Advancing a half-step towards where I was, he checked me in
-my retreat.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Pardon me, one moment, Miss O’Brady.” I was not Miss O’Brady. I
-longed, even then, to tell him so. But, fortunately, I did manage to
-refrain. “I am here to offer you my apologies.” I was perfectly sure
-that he had come there with no intention of the kind. “I fear that
-last night I behaved with scant discretion. I frightened you. I think
-I must have been a little off my head. I beg that it is in that light
-that you will regard the singularity of my conduct; and can now only
-assure you that I am ready to lay at your feet my excuses, my regrets,
-my confession of misbehaviour, in any form you may command.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He did not seem to see that his words, which were more than a little
-artificial, were not so much an apology as a fresh offence. He had
-made love to me because he was a little off his head, had he? What a
-compliment, under the circumstances, the idea conveyed. I should have
-liked to have pinched him, or done something more emphatic still, and,
-perhaps, something more undignified. Instead of which I merely
-replied, with an awkward clumsiness of which I was only too keenly
-sensitive:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“Pray, don’t apologise! It doesn’t matter in the least.”
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I gave no one else an opportunity to utter a syllable. The sight of
-their continued dumbness was more than flesh and blood could endure;
-and, above all, what the brown man had the audacity to call his
-apology. I strode out into the hall, and I am afraid I banged the door
-after me as I went.
-</p>
-
-
-<h3 id="ch26">
-CHAPTER XXVI.<br/>
-<span class="chap_sub">ON THE SINGULAR EFFECTS OF SUNLIGHT</span>
-</h3>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-<span class="sc">When</span> I regained my bedroom, which, in spite of its manifold and
-ostentatious deficiencies, I had long regarded as a harbour of refuge
-in which I might find shelter when the storms of life pressed too
-hardly, I took out of my dress pocket&mdash;I always insisted on having a
-pocket in my dress, whatever the fashion was, it was the one point on
-which I would have my way&mdash;that scrap of paper. It was blank. That
-sentence must have been written on it with vanishing ink, because
-already not a trace of it could be seen. That process of fading must
-have proceeded with marvellous rapidity. I held in my hand a soiled,
-crumpled piece of paper, which was so void of anything in the shape of
-written characters, that I was at a loss as to which side of it those
-mysterious words had been on.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The brief hour of my triumph had faded too. I was again the plain,
-uninteresting Norah O’Brady; the ugly girl with the pretty sisters;
-the overgrown gawk, who always looked so ridiculous in the clothes she
-wore. As I had once heard myself described&mdash;the creature with the
-hands and feet. I was that pleasant person again, this time for ever
-and a day. I could hardly expect a second miraculous interference with
-the ordinance of nature.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-And the story of that interposition would be scored up against me, in
-the family debtor and creditor account, to be used as another missile,
-when the tale of Norah’s clumsiness, bearishness, multitudinous
-stupidities, was once more the well-worn domestic theme. How amusing
-it would be to recall the day when the five men took her out to dine.
-How incredible it seemed, and, indeed, was. One must have dreamed it.
-By degrees, quite possibly, a legend would grow up that it was an
-elaborate practical joke which those five gentlemen had planned among
-themselves. And the Duke who called on her! You wouldn’t think it to
-look at her, would you? No one ever does believe it; but he actually
-did. And the bald-headed old horror! And that waiter!&mdash;a waiter,
-actually, my dear!&mdash;such a ridiculous fellow! Don’t you remember how
-impertinent he was to her? How he treated her as if she were the dirt
-beneath his feet! It was the funniest thing you ever saw.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I knew. My prophetic soul saw it all in store for me, being acquainted
-with the family methods where anything which would point a gibe
-against me was concerned.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Putting on my hat I went out. The atmosphere of the house, even of my
-own room, was insupportable. It would not have been surprising if
-someone had endeavoured to stay me, for with Jane, assisted only by a
-charwoman, I had to play the part of second maid. But no one did. I
-was conscious that someone came to the drawing-room window as I went
-by. But I did not notice who it was; and as, so far as I know, no
-attempt was made to attract my attention, I did not care.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-I steered for Kensington Gardens. They were the nearest available
-approach to the country for which I was always longing; and there,
-sometimes, one could be alone with the grass, and the trees, and the
-birds. That was my dominant feeling: the desire to get away from
-everyone, from everything. To transplant myself from this world, in
-which I had been, and was, and should be, such an utter failure. If I
-could only find myself in a different environment, in some place where
-people were not principally concerned with each other’s appearance,
-where one could dress as one pleased, and do as one chose, and be
-comfortable, and yet not be the subject of perpetual comment; where
-one could have liberty to be a woman, a girl, in one’s own way, which
-would not be such a dreadful way after all, where one could be even
-huge and plain and not despised, what a place that would be.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-As I tramped through the trees, seeking a spot which was not overrun
-with nursemaids, and all kinds of persons, I perceived no prospect of
-ever finding such a haven; unless, perhaps, it were by way of the
-Round Pond, if it contains water to cover a person of my unseemly
-inches. On the other side of it, almost obscured by the trunk of a
-great oak, I saw two chairs. Not only were they unoccupied, but there
-seemed to be no one in their immediate neighbourhood. So I planted
-myself in one. In Kensington Gardens no one ever sits upon the grass.
-Not only would it be in the highest degree improper, but it would
-spoil one’s clothes, and everyone would stare, and take one for quite
-a common person. Such an act would be impossible. If one sits at all,
-one sits upon a chair,&mdash;as I did then, though I would infinitely have
-preferred the ground, and my back against a tree, because the chair
-was most uncomfortable. And I prepared to lash myself with pessimistic
-and painful reflections on some such cheerful topic as the Vanity of
-Human Wishes&mdash;please put in the capital letters.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Unfortunately, the sun was shining; and when the sun shines, and I am
-out-of-doors, and the air is fresh and sweet, and one feels that the
-summer is at hand, and there is no unsympathetic person to stick pins
-in you, somehow I never can make as much of my distresses as I ought
-to; they seem to melt. To begin with, they are solid; in fact,
-immensely solid, and I mean to keep them solid. Indeed, I often set
-out with the deliberate intention of considering nothing else but
-their immense solidity, and allowing nothing to interfere with my
-consideration either. Then, in some way, the sunshine gets into my
-eyes, or head, or something, and has a sort of a kind of a dazzling
-effect. It must have, because, all of a sudden, they are gone&mdash;or seem
-gone. I cannot see them anywhere. Of course, it is absurd, and most
-illogical; because, all the time, they must be there. But it really is
-fatal for me to start thinking of my grievances in fine weather. No
-matter how resolved I am to stick to the subject, I never can keep my
-mind fixed on them when the sun is shining, and I am
-out-of-doors&mdash;never.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-It was like that, then. I had not been on that chair three minutes
-when Ben Morgan came and seated himself on the one just next. I was
-too surprised for words, having had no notion that he was anywhere
-within miles. His coming in that unexpected and startling fashion
-knocked all the ideas clean out of my head, except the consciousness
-of my disgraceful conduct to him the day before. But his tact was
-marvellous; I always have been struck by it. He never hinted at it by
-so much as a syllable. And presently, to my absolute amazement, I
-found myself chattering away as if I had come out for that especial
-purpose.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-We began with what was in the newspaper, which I did not happen to
-have seen, though, from what I could gather from him, I had not lost
-much. And then&mdash;well then, the subject was changed. A white poodle
-crossed in front of us, and we began talking about dogs. We were both
-of us very fond of dogs, and, indeed, all sorts of animals; so that it
-was a topic which was interesting to us both. Then the subject was
-changed again. Became personal. Drifted, as it were. I have always
-laughed at people who did that sort of thing in Kensington Gardens. I
-never thought I should have done it&mdash;never. But it became sunnier and
-sunnier every moment, until I was looking at everything through a
-golden haze.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Well&mdash;I said I would. And when I confessed my shame and my contrition
-for my behaviour to him yesterday, he said it did not matter&mdash;nothing
-mattered now. And I was the happiest girl in the world! As for being
-sorry because that fatal power of mine had endured for so short a
-time, it was the best thing that could have happened. I was delighted.
-How awful it would have been if everyone I met had kept on falling in
-love with me right off&mdash;high and low, married and single, young and
-old&mdash;when I wanted to be loved by no one else but Ben.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-When I told him, in a muddly way, of what had occurred, you should
-have seen how deliciously he was amused. Though he did say one
-ridiculous thing&mdash;that he could see nothing miraculous in people
-falling in love with me at sight, since no man worth his salt could
-help it. Of course I knew that that was one of love’s sweet perjuries.
-I am not sure that truth is always the thing which is most to be
-desired.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He is not at all mis-shapen, really; or, if he is, the tiniest scrap:
-I love him all the more because of it. To me, he will always be
-straighter than I am; and, ever since I was the merest tot, for
-straightness, I have been a perfect grenadier.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-He would walk home with me; and he told them about it, then and there.
-You should have seen mamma and the girls when we walked in together.
-We had actually forgotten lunch; it was quite late in the afternoon;
-they were beginning to wonder what had become of me. When they learnt,
-their faces were a study. But they were positively as nice as possible
-to both of us. Mamma kissed me, and was quite sweet to Ben; and
-Audrey, in particular, said some lovely things.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-... We are going to have that scrap of paper, on which the writing
-was, framed, and hung up in&mdash;in our bedroom.
-</p>
-
-<p class="end">
-[The End]
-</p>
-
-
-<h2>
-TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES.
-</h2>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-Alterations to the text:
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Add TOC.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Change several instances of <i>anyrate</i> to <i>any rate</i>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Minor punctuation fixes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Note: minor spelling and hyphenization inconsistencies have been left
-as is.
-</p>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-[Chapter III]
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“I am a kind of raree show, So whenever...” change comma to period.
-</p>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-[Chapter V]
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“among all my compeers. am best qualified...” change period to comma.
-</p>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-[Chapter IX]
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“than to the end of a <i>women’s</i> arm.” to <i>woman’s</i>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“scarcely saying <i>bo</i>! to a goose” to <i>boo</i>.
-</p>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-[Chapter XVIII]
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Change “when they were <i>yonng</i>” to <i>young</i>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Change “on the <i>otber</i> side of the top...” to <i>other</i>.
-</p>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-[Chapter XX]
-</p>
-
-<p>
-“or rage. or something.” change the period after <i>rage</i> to a comma.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Change “But this time I <i>sha’n’t</i> mind.” to <i>shan’t</i>.
-</p>
-
-<p class="noindent">
-[Chapter XXV]
-</p>
-
-<p>
-Change “A <i>promonitory</i> something was...” to <i>premonitory</i>.
-</p>
-
-<p class="end">
-[End of Text]
-</p>
-
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