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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 64604 ***
+
+ THE GIBSON BOOK
+
+ A COLLECTION OF THE PUBLISHED WORKS OF
+
+ CHARLES DANA GIBSON
+
+ IN TWO VOLUMES
+ Vol. II
+
+ [Illustration]
+
+ NEW YORK: CHARLES SCRIBNER’S SONS
+ R. H. RUSSELL
+ 1906
+
+
+Acknowledgment is here made to Messrs. Harper & Brothers (the publishers
+of seven of Mr. Gibson’s books), by special arrangement with whom this
+ work is made possible.
+
+ Copyright, 1894, by R. H. Russell & Son.
+
+Copyright, 1894, 1898, 1899, 1900, 1901, 1902, by Robert Howard Russell.
+
+ Copyright, 1897, 1903, 1904, 1905, 1906, by Charles Scribner’s Sons.
+
+[Illustration:
+
+ _ELEVEN_
+ GIBSON BOOKS
+ _IN_
+ TWO VOLUMES]
+
+[Illustration: A WIDOW AND HER FRIENDS]
+
+[Illustration: SHE CONTEMPLATES THE CLOISTER.]
+
+[Illustration: SHE DECIDES TO DIE IN SPITE OF DR. BOTTLES.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: SHE FINDS THAT EXERCISE DOES NOT IMPROVE HER SPIRITS.]
+
+[Illustration: MISS BABBLES, THE AUTHORESS, CALLS AND READS ALOUD.]
+
+[Illustration: SHE FINDS SOME CONSOLATION IN HER MIRROR.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: A QUIET DINNER WITH DR. BOTTLES; AFTER WHICH HE READS
+ALOUD MISS BABBLES’S LATEST WORK.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: A MESSAGE FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD.]
+
+[Illustration: SOME THINK THAT SHE HAS REMAINED IN RETIREMENT TOO LONG.
+OTHERS ARE SURPRISED THAT SHE IS ABOUT SO SOON.]
+
+[Illustration: SHE IS THE SUBJECT OF MORE HOSTILE CRITICISM.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: MRS. DIGGS IS ALARMED AT DISCOVERING WHAT SHE IMAGINES TO
+BE A SNAKE THAT THREATENS THE SAFETY OF HER ONLY CHILD. MR. DIGGS DOES
+NOT SHARE HIS WIFE’S ANXIETY.]
+
+[Illustration: SHE LOOKS FOR RELIEF AMONG SOME OF THE OLD ONES.]
+
+[Illustration: SHE LONGS FOR SECLUSION AND DECIDES TO LEAVE TOWN FOR A
+MILDER CLIMATE. WHILE PREPARING FOR THE JOURNEY SHE COMES ACROSS SOME
+OLD THINGS THAT RECALL OTHER DAYS.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: THE DAY AFTER ARRIVING AT HER JOURNEY’S END.]
+
+[Illustration: SHE GOES INTO COLORS.]
+
+[Illustration: THEY GO FISHING.]
+
+[Illustration: FAILING TO FIND REST AND QUIET IN THE COUNTRY, SHE
+DECIDES TO RETURN HOME.]
+
+[Illustration: MR. WADDLES ARRIVES LATE AND FINDS HER CARD FILLED.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: SHE BECOMES A TRAINED NURSE.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: THEY TAKE A MORNING RUN.]
+
+[Illustration:
+
+ MISS BABBLES BRINGS A COPY OF A MORNING PAPER, AND EXPRESSES HER
+ INDIGNATION AND SYMPATHY OVER A SCURRILOUS ARTICLE. MEANWHILE OTHER
+ FRIENDS ARE CALLING UPON THE EDITOR.
+]
+
+[Illustration: THEY ALL GO SKATING.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: SHE GOES TO THE FANCY DRESS BALL AS “JULIET.”]
+
+[Illustration: SHE IS DISTURBED BY A VISION WHICH APPEARS TO BE
+HERSELF.]
+
+[Illustration: AND HERE, WINNING NEW FRIENDS AND NOT LOSING THE OLD
+ONES, WE LEAVE HER.]
+
+[Illustration: STEPPED ON.]
+
+[Illustration: _The Expert_: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SHE HAS ONE?
+
+I CAN HEAR NOTHING.]
+
+[Illustration: SURE TO BE.
+
+_She_: I AM SO ANXIOUS TO HAVE THESE THEATRICALS A SUCCESS. IF THE
+MEMBERS ARE ONLY ENTHUSIASTIC, IT WILL BE.
+
+_He_: HAVE NO FEAR. EVERY MAN IN IT IS TO MAKE LOVE TO ANOTHER MAN’S
+WIFE.]
+
+[Illustration: A WORD IN PRIVATE.
+
+IF YOU ARE DULL YOURSELVES, DON’T HAVE YOUR DINNER TOO LONG.]
+
+[Illustration: LES FIANCÉS.
+
+_She_: WE ARE TOO POOR TO MARRY.
+
+“BUT I AM WORTH A MILLION, BAH JOVE!”
+
+“TRUE. BUT IF YOU WERE WORTH TWO MILLIONS, WE WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER
+OFF THAN THOSE WHO HAVE ONLY ONE.”]
+
+[Illustration: EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD THAT MONEY CAN BUY.]
+
+[Illustration: _She_: I SOMETIMES WONDER WHETHER ALL THOSE THINGS YOU
+SAID TO ME WERE TRUE.
+
+“WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? WE BOTH BELIEVED THEM.”]
+
+[Illustration: A WARNING TO WIVES.
+
+MRS. BOUNDERS KEPT HER HUSBAND UP LATE ONCE TOO OFTEN.
+
+HE IS NOW TAKING HIS EASE IN A SANITARIUM.]
+
+[Illustration: “THEY SAY MISS CLINKER HAS SO MUCH MONEY SHE DOESN’T KNOW
+WHAT TO DO WITH IT.”
+
+“ISN’T SHE CHARITABLE?”
+
+“NO, SHE REFUSED ME.”]
+
+[Illustration: _She_: YOU ARE SO AWKWARD IN YOUR LOVE-MAKING THAT
+SOMETIMES I AM SUSPICIOUS.
+
+“OF WHAT?”
+
+“THAT YOU MAY BE SINCERE.”]
+
+[Illustration: A DISPOSITION.
+
+_He_: YOU’LL HAVE TO GO A LONG WAY BEFORE YOU WILL MEET ANYONE WHO LOVES
+YOU MORE THAN I.
+
+_She_: WELL, I’M WILLING TO.]
+
+[Illustration: EASTER MORNING.
+
+FROM THE SUSCEPTIBLE PARSON’S POINT OF VIEW.]
+
+[Illustration: LOVE’S EXPRESS.]
+
+[Illustration: EMBARRASSING
+
+FOR LITTLE HOPKINS, WHO THOUGHT SHE MEANT IT FOR HIM.]
+
+[Illustration: LOVE IN A GARDEN.]
+
+[Illustration: THE BRIDE’S HEALTH.]
+
+[Illustration: _The Dog_: HERE HE HAS BEEN HANGING AROUND US FOR A
+MONTH, AND WE LEAVE TO-NIGHT.]
+
+[Illustration: “OH HE’S HORRID! I CAN’T BEAR TO LOOK AT HIM.”
+
+“BUT SOMETHING MIGHT BE MADE OF HIM.”
+
+“NO, HE LISTENS WITH HIS MOUTH.”]
+
+[Illustration: SOCIAL DEBTS.
+
+AS THE LAST GUEST GOES--THANK HEAVEN!]
+
+[Illustration: WHO CARES?]
+
+[Illustration: HERE IT IS CHRISTMAS, AND THEY BEGAN SAYING GOOD-BYE IN
+AUGUST.]
+
+[Illustration: THE SOCIAL LADDER]
+
+[Illustration: THE SOCIAL LADDER.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+AN IMITATION OF THE LADY OF THE HOUSE.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: MRS. STEELE POOLE’S HOUSEWARMING.]
+
+[Illustration: MR. MEEKER DOESN’T OBJECT SO MUCH TO HIS WIFE’S
+ENTERTAINMENTS AS HE DOES TO THE WAY SHE USES HIS ROOM FOR THE
+GENTLEMEN’S THINGS.]
+
+[Illustration: HIS REVENGE.
+
+_Time: Any morning at 4:15._
+
+MR. MEEKER, HAVING BEEN KEPT UP LATE FOR THE LAST TWENTY YEARS AND
+REBUKED FOR HIS LACK OF INTEREST, DEVELOPS A SUDDEN ENTHUSIASM. MRS.
+MEEKER AND THE GIRLS NOW DO THE WAITING.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: THE STORY OF HIS LIFE.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+AT A DRAMATIC AGENCY.]
+
+[Illustration: THE TROUBLES OF THE RICH.
+
+AT THE LAST MOMENT, SEVERAL WHO WERE INVITED SEND THEIR REGRETS.]
+
+[Illustration: THE MAIN OBJECT.
+
+_He_: WOULD YOU MIND IF I JOINED ANOTHER CLUB?
+
+“OH, NO, DEAR! WILL IT KEEP YOU AWAY FROM HOME ANY MORE?”]
+
+[Illustration: THE SONG OF THE DEBUTANTE.
+
+“MOTHER, DEAR MOTHER, COME HOME WITH ME NOW.”]
+
+[Illustration: THE HEIRESS.
+
+ SHE CANNOT TALK, SHE CANNOT SING,
+ SHE LOOKS A FRIGHT; BUT FOLKS AVER
+ TEN MILLIONS HAVE BEEN SET APART
+ TO TALK AND SING AND LOOK FOR HER.
+]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: MR. GRUBBS WALKS IN HIS SLEEP AND APPEARS FOR THE FIRST
+AND ONLY TIME AT AN ENTERTAINMENT IN HIS OWN HOUSE.]
+
+[Illustration: WHY NOT
+
+HAVE PLATE GLASS FRONTS TO THE OPERA BOXES? THE OCCUPANTS COULD STILL BE
+SEEN, BUT NOT HEARD.]
+
+[Illustration: THE NEXT MORNING.
+
+_Mrs. Innittor Dedd’s maid reads_: “AMONG THOSE PRESENT WAS MRS.
+INNITTOR DEDD, WHOSE LOVELY FACE AND SPLENDID FIGURE WERE ENHANCED BY A
+TIARA OF DIAMONDS AND THREE ROPES OF PEARLS. SHE WORE HER FAMOUS RUBIES
+AND WAS EVEN MORE REGAL THAN AT THE BULLYON’S BALL THE NIGHT BEFORE,”
+ETC., ETC.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: ADVICE TO A HOSTESS.
+
+KEEP YOUR ENTERTAINMENT WITHIN THE MENTAL GRASP OF YOUR GUESTS.]
+
+[Illustration: LIGHTER THAN AIR.]
+
+[Illustration: MODERN CELEBRITIES.
+
+AN INTERESTING DISCUSSION BETWEEN THE AUTHOR OF “THE BARENNESS OF
+UNKISSED KISSES” AND A FAMOUS DRAMATIST.]
+
+[Illustration: WASTED ENERGY.
+
+_Professor Bung_: A BEAUTY? WELL, PERHAPS SHE IS.
+
+_Mr. Rattles_: WHY, MAN, HAVEN’T YOU NOTICED THE DIVINE WAY SHE SMILES?
+
+“OH, I’M NOT ALTOGETHER UNOBSERVANT. I HAVE MADE A CALCULATION, IN FACT,
+THAT THE ENERGY EXPENDED ON HER SMILES, IF SCIENTIFICALLY APPLIED, WOULD
+RUN AN AUTOMOBILE.”]
+
+[Illustration: _She_: YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO LOVE.
+
+“I DON’T, EH? HAVEN’T I BEEN TO EVERY PLAY, READ EVERY POPULAR NOVEL IN
+THE LAST SIX MONTHS, GOT INTO DEBT HOPELESSLY, HAD MY APPENDIX REMOVED,
+AND ALL FOR YOUR SAKE?”]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+SHOWING THAT A MAN MAY BE A HERO IN HIS OWN HOUSE.]
+
+[Illustration: OF COURSE THERE ARE MERMAIDS.]
+
+[Illustration: PLENTY OF GOOD FISH IN THE SEA.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: PARASITES.
+
+BASKING IN THE GOLDEN SUNSHINE.]
+
+[Illustration: HIS CHRISTMAS GIFT.]
+
+[Illustration: A SUGGESTION.
+
+FOR ILL-ASSORTED PAIRS.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: THE ENTHUSIAST WHO INSISTS UPON SHOWING YOU HIS ESTATE.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: A CROOKED TALE.
+
+ THERE WAS A CROOKED MAN,
+ WHO MADE A CROOKED DEAL,
+ AND GOT A CROOKED FORTUNE
+ BY A VERY CROOKED STEAL;
+ HE HAD A CROOKED WIFE,
+ WITH A VERY CROOKED NAME,
+ AND NOW THEY LIVE APART
+ IN VERY CROOKED FAME.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: THE AMBITIOUS MOTHER AND THE OBLIGING CLERGYMAN.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+WHILE A SPANISH-AMERICAN HERO DESCRIBES THE HORRORS OF WAR.]
+
+[Illustration: FROZEN.]
+
+[Illustration: _He_: YOU PROMISED TO BE MY PUPIL AND LEARN TO LOVE ME.
+
+“BUT IT MAKES SUCH A DIFFERENCE WHEN YOUR HEART ISN’T IN YOUR WORK.”]
+
+[Illustration: WHERE IGNORANCE, ETC.
+
+“WHERE DO YOU GO ON YOUR WEDDING TRIP?”
+
+“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN WONDERING.”]
+
+[Illustration: THE MERRY-GO-ROUND.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: MRS. KATCHAM PRIDES HERSELF ON ALWAYS HAVING THE LATEST
+CELEBRITY AT HER HOUSE. TO-NIGHT IT IS NO LESS A PERSONAGE THAN
+“GOUGER.”]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+WHILE UNCLE JOE HAS HIS TIE FIXED.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDY IN EXPRESSION.
+
+WHILE THE HOSTESS WHISPERS TO JONES, “REMEMBER, NOW, WE ARE COUNTING ON
+YOU TO MAKE US LAUGH.”]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: ONE OF THE DISADVANTAGES OF BEING IN LOVE WITH AN
+ATHLETIC GIRL.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: PILLSBURY DOES NOT CARE FOR SOCIETY, BUT HIS WIFE WILL
+NOT GO WITHOUT HIM.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: WHY SOME CHILDREN DIDN’T GET THEIR PRESENTS.]
+
+[Illustration:]
+
+[Illustration: ALAS! THE VOICE OF HIS FIANCÉE.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+THE AUTHOR AND THE SOUBRETTE.]
+
+[Illustration: THE HALF ORPHAN.
+
+“MAMMA WILL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.”]
+
+[Illustration: “UNLUCKY AT CARDS, LUCKY IN LOVE.”]
+
+[Illustration: WHEN A MAN’S IN LOVE.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--I.
+
+THE FIRST DRAWING OF THIS SERIES GIVES A NECESSARILY IMPERFECT PORTRAIT
+OF THE HERO, SINCE HE IS DISCOVERED IN THE ACT OF CARRYING ON TWO
+CONVERSATIONS AT A TIME.]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--II.
+
+THE SECOND DRAWING GIVES US NO BETTER PORTRAIT OF THE HERO THAN THE
+FIRST. WE MAY CONJECTURE, HOWEVER, THAT, BEING A BACHELOR, THE
+EXPERIENCE DEPICTED IN THE FIRST DRAWING HAS IMPAIRED THE YOUNG MAN’S
+SLEEP. HE PROBABLY IMAGINES HIMSELF THE LATEST VICTIM OF SOME FAIR
+ENTOMOLOGIST.]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--III.
+
+IN THE THIRD DRAWING OF THIS SERIES WE GET A PORTRAIT OF THE HERO. BUT
+HE IS AGAIN IN A DISTRESSING DILEMMA. JUST AS HE IS ADVISED BY HIS
+PHYSICIAN TO AVOID ALL EXCITEMENT, A YOUNG PERSON ENTERS AND HE DEVELOPS
+FURTHER ALARMING SYMPTOMS, WHEREUPON AN IMMEDIATE CHANGE OF SCENE IS
+PRESCRIBED.]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--IV.
+
+IN PURSUANCE OF THE ADVICE OF HIS PHYSICIANS, OUR HERO STARTS ON HIS
+JOURNEY IN SEARCH OF REST, BUT AT THE VERY OUTSET FINDS HIMSELF
+CONFRONTED BY ANOTHER DISTRESSING CIRCUMSTANCE: HIS SEAT IN THE PARLOR
+CAR IS NEXT TO MISS PEACHEM, FOR WHOM HE HAS ALWAYS HAD THE MOST
+PROFOUND REGARD.]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--V.
+
+ARRIVING AT HIS JOURNEY’S END, HE MEETS AN OLD FRIEND WHO INSISTS ON
+TAKING HIM HOME AND INTRODUCING HIM TO HIS DAUGHTERS.]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--VI.
+
+AFTER A VAIN SEARCH FOR REST AND QUIET, HE FALLS INTO A MOST SENSITIVE
+CONDITION AND SUFFERS FROM THE COLD.]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--VII.
+
+HE TAKES A HAND AT BRIDGE AND HAS DIFFICULTY IN KEEPING HIS MIND ON THE
+GAME, WITH THE RESULT THAT HE REPEATEDLY TRUMPS HIS PARTNER’S TRICKS.]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--VIII.
+
+HE GOES TO THE PLAY, BUT FINDS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO BECOME INTERESTED IN THE
+PIECE.]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--IX.
+
+HE SUDDENLY LOSES ALL INTEREST IN FOOT-BALL.]
+
+[Illustration: THE WEAKER SEX.--X.
+
+HAVING DETERMINED TO SETTLE DOWN, WE LEAVE HIM IN THE ACT OF DECIDING
+UPON AN OBJECT FOR AFFECTION.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: SOME WOMEN PREFER DOGS.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: AFTER FIFTEEN YEARS.
+
+WHEN SHE REFUSED HIM HE VOWED HE WOULD NEVER MARRY.]
+
+[Illustration: THE SOCIAL PUSH.
+
+ALMOST IN.]
+
+[Illustration: MR. A. MERGER HOGG IS TAKING A FEW DAYS’ MUCH-NEEDED REST
+AT HIS COUNTRY HOME.]
+
+[Illustration: THE JURY OF THE FUTURE--ONE THAT MIGHT TEMPER JUSTICE
+WITH MERCY.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+WHEN WOMEN ARE JURORS.]
+
+[Illustration: _Miss Boston_: “AH YES: YOUR VERSES ARE CHARMING. AND
+HAVE YOU NEVER WRITTEN A NOVEL?”
+
+_Miss New York_: “NO: FOR IF I DID MY MOTHER WOULD NEVER LET ME READ
+IT.”]
+
+[Illustration: _Actress_: “I want you to mention the fact of my diamonds
+being stolen.”
+
+“WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?”
+
+“NEXT WEEK.”]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+WHEN A DEBUTANTE MEETS THE ELIGIBLE YOUNG MEN OF HER MOTHER’S
+ACQUAINTANCE.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: SIX A. M.
+
+JUST BEFORE HE AWOKE.]
+
+[Illustration: “BOTH THOSE LORDS ARE AFTER HER, AND SHE DOESN’T KNOW
+WHICH TO ACCEPT.”
+
+“ISN’T ONE AS GOOD AS THE OTHER?”
+
+“YES, BUT SHE CAN’T TELL IN ADVANCE WHICH IS THE CHEAPER.”]
+
+[Illustration: HIS DANCE.]
+
+[Illustration: _She_: “I KNOW THAT YOU MUST HAVE MADE LOVE BEFORE TO
+SOME OTHER GIRL.”
+
+“BUT I HAD YOU IN MIND ALL THE TIME.”]
+
+[Illustration: A HAPPY FACULTY.
+
+_Young Tutter_ (_to Hostess_): “I HAVE HAD A VERY PLEASANT EVENING. BUT
+THEN I ALWAYS MANAGE TO ENJOY MYSELF, NO MATTER WHERE I AM.”]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+WHILE AN OLD GENTLEMAN LISTENS TO SOME OF HIS SON’S CLASSMATES.]
+
+[Illustration: ALL BROKEN UP.
+
+ANOTHER COLLISION WITH SERIOUS RESULTS.]
+
+[Illustration: “CALLED OUT.”
+
+A POSSIBILITY OF THE FUTURE WHEN SOCIETY SHALL HAVE BECOME THOROUGHLY
+UNIONIZED.]
+
+[Illustration: _HE_: “AND SO YOU WON’T LET ME BE YOURS.”]
+
+[Illustration: A PEACH CROP.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: THE PARTY WALL.]
+
+[Illustration: KIND OF FUNNY, AFTER ALL.
+
+“IT’S NO LAUGHING MATTER TO BE REJECTED BY A MILLION DOLLARS!”
+
+“WELL, I DON’T KNOW. YOU SEE, OLD MAN, SHE’S JUST ACCEPTED ME.”]
+
+[Illustration: “MY UNCLE DIED YESTERDAY SIR, AND I WANT YOU TO
+OFFICIATE. CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT HIM?”
+
+“BUT I DIDN’T KNOW HIM.”
+
+“GOOD! YOU’RE JUST THE MAN.”]
+
+[Illustration: AT A FASHIONABLE FUNERAL.]
+
+[Illustration: BY WAY OF A CHANGE.]
+
+[Illustration: SOME OF THE CARETAKER’S RELATIONS.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: PORTRAIT OF THE GENTLEMAN WHO WAS UNWILLING TO ATTEND A
+FANCY DRESS BALL UNTIL HE SAW HIMSELF IN COSTUME.]
+
+[Illustration: THE FIRST DUTY OF AN OPULENT MOTHER IS TO SHIELD HER
+CHILD FROM AMBITIOUS FEMALES.]
+
+[Illustration: “HALF MOURNING.”]
+
+[Illustration: A DISCREET APPROACH.
+
+“ADVISE ME, UNCLE JACK.”
+
+“OF COURSE; WHAT IS IT?”
+
+“SHALL I ASK YOU FOR TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS, OR FOR FIFTY?”]
+
+[Illustration: A LAST REMEMBRANCE.
+
+_Ethel_ (_ecstatically_): “OH, CHARLIE, WOULD YOU JUST AS LEAVE PROPOSE
+ALL OVER AGAIN, AND DO IT INTO THIS PHONOGRAPH?”
+
+_Cholly_: “WHY?”
+
+_Ethel_: “WHY, I WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO REMEMBER YOU BY AFTER YOU
+HAVE GONE IN AND SPOKEN TO PAPA ABOUT IT.”]
+
+[Illustration: WHY SHE DIDN’T GET THE PLACE.
+
+THE MAN BEHIND THE PAPER VENTURED THE OPINION THAT SHE MIGHT DO.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: BYGONE SUMMERS.
+
+A FRIEZE FOR AN OLD GENTLEMAN’S ROOM.]
+
+[Illustration: _Ferguson_ (_the politest man in New York_): “WHEN YOU GO
+BACK, NORA, PLEASE ASK THE COOK IF THERE IS ANY COLD MEAT IN THE HOUSE.”
+(_Exit Nora._)
+
+_To the company_: “I beg you to excuse our maid. These accidents happen
+to her somewhat overfrequently. She was bred, I believe, a dairymaid,
+but had to leave that employment because of her inability to handle the
+cows without breaking off their horns.”]
+
+[Illustration: THIS IS THE SEASON WHEN EVEN THE SNOW MAN HAS A HEART.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: MAKING BREAD PILLS.]
+
+[Illustration: ADVICE TO BORES.
+
+IF YOU CANNOT MAKE YOUR PRESENCE FELT BY YOUR BRAINS, DO IT WITH YOUR
+FEET.]
+
+[Illustration: ADVICE TO NOBLEMEN.
+
+WHEN SPEAKING TO YOUR FIANCÉE’S FATHER ASSUME AN EASY POSTURE AND ADOPT
+A FRIENDLY MANNER.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+DAUBSON SHOWS HIS LATEST WORK.]
+
+[Illustration: THE RETIRED WALKING DELEGATE OF THE FUTURE.]
+
+[Illustration: DESPERATE COURSE OF A LOVER WHOSE FIANCÉE IS A CONFIRMED
+LION-HUNTER.]
+
+[Illustration: WHEN A BACHELOR IS ILL.
+
+COMPLICATIONS OFTEN ARISE THAT NO AMOUNT OF MEDICINE WILL CURE.]
+
+[Illustration: THE BROKER RINGS UP HIS GIRL.
+
+“HELLO! HELLO! BIG STRIKE IN CONSOLIDATED CATAMOUNT--CAN MARRY--WANT
+THREE DAYS’ OPTION HAND AND HEART.”
+
+_She_: WILL GIVE REFUSAL.]
+
+[Illustration: THE BRUTE VENTURES TO SUGGEST THAT A BONNET MIGHT BE MORE
+SUITABLE.]
+
+[Illustration: ADVICE TO SNOBS.
+
+IF YOU WISH TO GET ON, DEVOTE YOURSELF TO THOSE WHO ENTERTAIN.]
+
+[Illustration: DESIGN FOR WALL PAPER.
+
+SUITABLE FOR A BACHELOR APARTMENT.]
+
+[Illustration: THE SEED OF AMBITION.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+THE “CHORUS GIRL’S” VISIT HOME.]
+
+[Illustration: ADVICE TO BORES.
+
+FOLLOW YOUR CARD UPSTAIRS AND FIND OUT WHAT THEY REALLY THINK OF YOU.]
+
+[Illustration: TWO’S COMPANY, THREE’S A CROWD.
+
+THE OTHER MAN SHOULD REMEMBER THAT HE IS A CROWD.]
+
+[Illustration: HER FACE AND--_HER_ FORTUNE.]
+
+[Illustration: A CASTLE IN THE AIR.
+
+THESE YOUNG GIRLS WHO MARRY OLD MILLIONAIRES SHOULD STOP DREAMING.]
+
+[Illustration: THE GREATEST GAME IN THE WORLD--_HIS MOVE_.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: FELLOW PASSENGERS.]
+
+[Illustration: IN THE SAME BOAT.]
+
+[Illustration: MR. WIGGS RENTS A COTTAGE FOR THE SUMMER.
+
+“ALL THE COMFORTS OF HOME.”]
+
+[Illustration: HER SUMMER FRIENDS.]
+
+[Illustration: THE PROUD MERCHANT.]
+
+[Illustration: “TWO STRIKES AND THE BASES FULL.”]
+
+[Illustration: THE IMAGE OF HIS FATHER.]
+
+[Illustration: RACE SUICIDE.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+IN THE MONKEY HOUSE.]
+
+[Illustration: ON THE SIDEWALKS OF NEW YORK.
+
+SEQUEL TO AN UNPROFITABLE THEATRICAL SEASON.]
+
+[Illustration: AT THE DRESSMAKER’S.
+
+“STOUT? OH, DEAR, NO!!!”]
+
+[Illustration: THE JURY DISAGREES.]
+
+[Illustration: THE CHAMPION.]
+
+[Illustration: THEIR DAUGHTER IN THE CITY.]
+
+[Illustration: A RESOLVE.
+
+_Cousin Kate_: “NOW THAT YOU ARE WELL OFF, CHARLIE, YOU MUSTN’T LET THEM
+SAY OF YOU, ‘A FOOL AND HIS MONEY ARE SOON PARTED.’”
+
+_Cousin Charles_: “NO, YOU BET I WON’T. I’LL SHOW THEM THAT I AM AN
+EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.”]
+
+[Illustration: AFTER SOME YEARS OF WAITING, MR. TAGG AT LAST APPEARS IN
+THE SOCIETY COLUMNS.]
+
+[Illustration: THE MENTION OF MR. TAGG’S NAME IN THE SOCIAL COLUMN
+ATTRACTS SOME GENTLEMEN OF THE PRESS.
+
+MR. TAGG GRACEFULLY SUBMITS TO AN INTERVIEW.]
+
+[Illustration: UNCLE TAGG MAKES HIS WILL.]
+
+[Illustration: MR. TAGG BECOMES A PATRON OF THE ARTS.]
+
+[Illustration: MR. TAGG IS VERY POPULAR WITH THE DINNER-GIVERS.]
+
+[Illustration: MR. TAGG FINDS THE YOUNGER PEOPLE MORE DIFFICULT TO
+PLEASE.]
+
+[Illustration: IN ORDER TO PRESERVE HIS FIGURE, MR. TAGG BECOMES A
+PATRON OF THE MANLY ART.
+
+ASSISTED BY HIS INSTRUCTOR, “PATSY, THE PUGG,” HE DEMONSTRATES TO SOME
+TITLED FOREIGNERS THE FINE POINTS OF THE GAME.]
+
+[Illustration: WHEN INVITED TO DINNER, MR. TAGG ATTRACTS CONSIDERABLE
+NOTICE BY BEING LATE.]
+
+[Illustration: HIS ONLY OPPORTUNITY.
+
+MR. TAGG, AS HOST, WISHES TO BECOME PERMANENTLY IDENTIFIED WITH CERTAIN
+IMPORTANT PEOPLE OF FASHION.]
+
+[Illustration: LIONS.
+
+MR. TAGG GIVES A MUSICALE AND TAKES PLEASURE IN INTRODUCING TWO RIVAL
+TENORS.]
+
+[Illustration: IN DIPLOMATIC CIRCLES.
+
+MR. TAGG IS FASCINATED BY WASHINGTON SOCIETY AND DECIDES TO GO INTO
+POLITICS. HE ENJOYS A VISION OF HIMSELF AT THE COURT OF ST. JAMES.]
+
+[Illustration: THE NOMINATING COMMITTEE.
+
+MR. TAGG IS PERSUADED TO RUN FOR OFFICE.]
+
+[Illustration: IN POLITICS.
+
+MR. TAGG FINDS IT EXPENSIVE AND AFTER ALL WONDERS IF IT HELPS HIM
+SOCIALLY.]
+
+[Illustration: POSTPONING THE INHERITANCE.
+
+MISS TAGG EXPLAINED THE GAME TO HER UNCLE, WHO IS GREATLY IMPROVED BY
+THE EXERCISE.]
+
+[Illustration: HAVING TAKEN ALL THE NECESSARY LEGAL STEPS, MR. TAGG IS
+GREATLY MORTIFIED AT HIS DAUGHTER’S REFUSAL TO MARRY A NOBLEMAN.]
+
+[Illustration: SHOCKING.
+
+MR. TAGG LEARNS THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS GOING TO MARRY AN AMERICAN.]
+
+[Illustration: A YEAR OR TWO LATER.
+
+UNCLE TAGG MAKES A NEW WILL.]
+
+[Illustration: THE SUSCEPTIBLE ROCK.
+
+EVEN NATURE RESPONDS.]
+
+[Illustration: _Old Moneybags_: “CAN YOU SIT UP WITH MY DAUGHTER EVERY
+NIGHT AND STILL DO YOUR REGULAR BUSINESS, SIR?”
+
+“BUT THAT’S MY REGULAR BUSINESS.”]
+
+[Illustration: PORTRAIT OF AN OLD GENTLEMAN ON THE WRONG CORNER.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+SHOWING A NEWLY ENGAGED COUPLE AT A LARGE DINNER PARTY.]
+
+[Illustration: _The Father_: “YOUNG MAN, DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR
+COLLEGE CAREER HAS COST ME TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?”
+
+“WELL, GOVERNOR, IT WAS WORTH IT.”]
+
+[Illustration: ANOTHER GET-RICH-QUICK SWINDLE.]
+
+[Illustration: A CAREFUL DAUGHTER.
+
+“NO, MOTHER, THIS BOOK IS NOT AT ALL FIT FOR YOU TO SEE.” “BUT YOU ARE
+READING IT!” “AH, BUT WE WERE BROUGHT UP SO DIFFERENTLY.”]
+
+[Illustration: “ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARD THE WIDOW SERIOUS?”
+
+“OH, VERY. I AM GOING, IF POSSIBLE, TO GET OUT OF MARRYING HER.”]
+
+[Illustration: $ $ $ $ $]
+
+[Illustration: _He_: “SHALL WE TALK OR DANCE?”
+
+“I’M SO TIRED. LET’S DANCE.”]
+
+[Illustration: _Millionaire_: “_How do I known, sir, that you have any
+business ability?_”
+
+“_I have persuaded your daughter to marry me._”]
+
+[Illustration: _Actor_: “IN THIS DUEL SCENE WHO GETS THE WORST OF IT?”
+
+_Stage Manager_: “THE AUDIENCE.”]
+
+[Illustration: IN ONE OF OUR MOST RESPECTABLE CLUBS, THE MORNING AFTER
+THE BIG FIGHT.
+
+A DESCRIPTION OF THE EVENT BY AN EYE-WITNESS.]
+
+[Illustration: _He_: “WAS THAT YOU I KISSED IN THE CONSERVATORY LAST
+NIGHT?”
+
+“ABOUT WHAT TIME WAS IT?”]
+
+[Illustration: GRANDMA TAKES THE BABY TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER’S.]
+
+[Illustration: CHANGED.
+
+_Mr. Eubeedee_: “YES, I’VE CHANGED A GOOD DEAL SINCE THEN, MRS. JONES.”
+
+“AND FOR THE BETTER, I TRUST.”
+
+“THEY USED TO CALL ME A WILD YOUTH, YOU REMEMBER; BUT NOW---- ”
+
+“NOW?”
+
+“NOW THEY CALL ME AN OLD REPROBATE.”]
+
+[Illustration: NO USE.
+
+“DON’T YOU THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO SEND OUR BELOVED PASTOR
+ABROAD?”
+
+“BUT HE WOULDN’T STAY.”]
+
+[Illustration: _He_: “I HOPE THE FACT THAT I’VE LED A GAY LIFE AND BEEN
+OUT NIGHTS A GREAT DEAL WON’T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.”
+
+“INDEED IT DOES. IF I ACCEPTED YOU, YOU _might_ REFORM.”]
+
+[Illustration: FROM THE BARTENDER’S POINT OF VIEW.]
+
+[Illustration: GOING TO WORK.
+
+DEDICATED TO THE EMPLOYERS OF CHILDREN.]
+
+[Illustration: THE MAN SHE REALLY CARES FOR SITS IN THE GALLERY.]
+
+[Illustration: SOME TICKER FACES.]
+
+[Illustration: “HAVE YOU MET HIM SOCIALLY?”
+
+“DEAR ME, NO. ONLY IN A BUSINESS WAY. I MARRIED HIS DAUGHTER.”]
+
+[Illustration: _Mr._: “THE COOK HAS AGREED TO STAY.”
+
+_Mrs._: “HOW DID YOU MANAGE IT?”
+
+“I TOLD HER IT WOULD BE COWARDLY TO LEAVE ME ALONE.”]
+
+[Illustration: _Skinflint_: “IF ANYTHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO ME, YOU WILL
+BE ALL RIGHT. I’VE JUST INSURED MY LIFE.”
+
+“BUT SUPPOSE NOTHING DOES HAPPEN TO YOU?”]
+
+[Illustration: A DISTINCTION.
+
+_He_: “YES, I REMEMBERED YOU AT ONCE AS THE GIRL I WAS ENGAGED TO IN THE
+MOUNTAINS SOME SEASONS AGO.”
+
+“WHAT A REMARKABLE MEMORY FOR FACES YOU HAVE, HAVEN’T YOU?”
+
+“NO--FOR RINGS.”]
+
+[Illustration: HER HEART IS IN THE KITCHEN.]
+
+[Illustration: “YOU HAVE BEEN VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH THE GIRLS--WHAT IS
+YOUR RULE IN MAKING LOVE TO ONE?”
+
+“I HAVE NO SET RULE. I MERELY TRY, WITH ALL THE POWER THERE IS IN ME, TO
+MAKE AS BIG AN ASS OF MYSELF AS POSSIBLE.”]
+
+[Illustration: NO LETTER.
+
+IT ISN’T ALWAYS THE GIRL THAT IS THOUGHTLESS.]
+
+[Illustration: THEIR FIRST MEETING--SOME YEARS AGO--NOW THEY ARE
+MARRIED.]
+
+[Illustration: STUDIES IN EXPRESSION.
+
+BRIDGET ANNOUNCES THAT SHE IN ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED.]
+
+[Illustration: THE FAMILY BELOW.
+
+DEDICATED TO PEOPLE LIVE IN FLATS.]
+
+[Illustration: MARRIED AT LAST.
+
+DEDICATED TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN LONG ENGAGEMENTS.]
+
+[Illustration: IN THE COUNTRY.
+
+_Gabberley_: “SINCE I BOUGHT MY PLACE HERE, PROPERTY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
+HAS DEPRECIATED TERRIBLY.”
+
+“THAT’S NATURAL.”]
+
+[Illustration: “MY WIFE, TELLS ME, SIR, THAT YOU HAVE BEEN MAKING LOVE
+TO HER.”
+
+“THAT’S JUST LIKE A WOMAN, TO DISCUSS OUR PRIVATE AFFAIRS. IT WILL BE IN
+THE PAPERS NEXT.”]
+
+[Illustration: SIGNS OF SPRING.]
+
+[Illustration: THE VILLAIN DIES.]
+
+[Illustration: AT THE MATINEE.]
+
+[Illustration: SUMMER SPORTS.]
+
+[Illustration: THE NEW GOVERNESS.
+
+SINCE HER ARRIVAL UNCLE TOM SPENDS CONSIDERABLE TIME IN THE NURSERY.]
+
+[Illustration: HIS FORTUNE.
+
+“YOU ARE GOING ON A LONG, LONG JOURNEY.”]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: ASKING THE OLD FOLKS.]
+
+[Illustration: THE SPIRIT OF THE DAY.]
+
+[Illustration: “LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP.”]
+
+[Illustration: SERIOUS BUSINESS
+
+A YOUNG LAWYER ARGUING HIS FIRST IMPORTANT CASE]
+
+[Illustration: CASTLES IN THE AIR]
+
+[Illustration: THE AGITATOR
+
+“WHO IS IT’S BROUGHT US HERE, I ASK YOU? WHO’S A-GRINDIN’ US UNDER THE
+IRON HEEL O’ DESPOTISM? I SAY TO YOU THE TIME HAS COME, WHEN---- ”]
+
+[Illustration: ANOTHER VICTIM--THE GOOSE FISH]
+
+[Illustration: SEASIDE EXPRESSIONS]
+
+[Illustration: LOST]
+
+[Illustration: “FANNED OUT”]
+
+[Illustration: THE NEW HAT]
+
+[Illustration: LEGAL ADVICE]
+
+[Illustration: BROTHERS--]
+
+[Illustration:--AND--SISTERS]
+
+[Illustration: TIME FOR REFLECTION]
+
+[Illustration: “WILL YOU TELL MY PAST FOR TWO DOLLARS?”
+
+“NO, MADAM, NOT _your_ PAST. YOU WILL HAVE TO HIRE ME BY THE DAY.”]
+
+[Illustration: THE TRAGEDIAN AND HIS LANDLADY]
+
+[Illustration: STAGE-STRUCK]
+
+[Illustration: A BOX PARTY]
+
+[Illustration: AT THE OPERA
+
+IF THE WOMEN WEAR CROWNS, WHY SHOULDN’T THE MEN?]
+
+[Illustration: “KEEP STILL, PLEASE”]
+
+[Illustration: TO SEE THE ART EDITOR]
+
+[Illustration: OPENING OF THE RACING SEASON]
+
+[Illustration: HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS]
+
+[Illustration: TRYING IT ON]
+
+[Illustration: ADVERTISING À LA MODE]
+
+[Illustration: SEEING NEW YORK (THE FLATIRON)]
+
+[Illustration: THE FUNNY ARTIST]
+
+[Illustration: A WINNER]
+
+[Illustration: AT THE HORSE SHOW (THE HIGH JUMP)]
+
+[Illustration: ART IS LONG]
+
+[Illustration: SKYED]
+
+[Illustration: LIFE’S VAUDEVILLE
+
+SEE ELDERLY BACHELOR IN HIS GREAT DOUBLE ROLE, MORE PARTICULAR AND LESS
+DESIRABLE IN “CHOOSING A WIFE”]
+
+[Illustration: “YOUNG MAN, HAVE YOU BEEN TRYING TO KISS MY DAUGHTER?”
+
+“NO, SIR! I’VE BEEN TRYING _not_ TO.”]
+
+[Illustration: SHE MUST HAVE SEEN BETTER DAYS]
+
+[Illustration: SISTER’S NEW BEAU]
+
+[Illustration: WITHOUT RESERVE
+
+“IS YOUR HUSBAND VERY CONFIDENTIAL WITH YOU?”
+
+“VERY! HE TELLS ME EVERYTHING HE SUSPECTS I’VE FOUND OUT ABOUT HIM.”]
+
+[Illustration: THE MORNING AFTER]
+
+[Illustration: “I HEAR, SIR, THAT FREDDY IS WORKING AS A CLERK IN YOUR
+BROKERAGE OFFICE?”
+
+“YES. I WANT HIM TO LEARN ENOUGH ABOUT THE BUSINESS TO LET IT ALONE
+AFTER I DIE.”]
+
+[Illustration: THE BABY OF THE FAMILY]
+
+[Illustration: LIFE’S VAUDEVILLE
+
+MR. MASHER AS CAPT. IRRESISTIBLE IN THE LADY KILLER]
+
+[Illustration: THE UNAPPRECIATIVE AUDIENCE
+
+AN OLD GENTLEMAN DESCRIBES HIS GRANDCHILDREN]
+
+[Illustration: NEVER TOO OLD TO YEARN]
+
+[Illustration: “IS IT EXPENSIVE SENDING YOUR GIRLS TO COLLEGE?”
+
+“I SHOULD SAY SO! MY WIFE TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THEIR ABSENCE TO DRESS
+ABOUT TWENTY YEARS YOUNGER THAN SHE REALLY IS.”]
+
+[Illustration: CURRENT LITERATURE
+
+“I SAID, MY DAUGHTER HAD BEEN INDULGENTLY BROUGHT UP, AND WAS USED TO
+LUXURY, AND I COULD NOT CONSENT TO HER BECOMING THE WIFE OF A LITERARY
+MAN. AND HE SAID, DAMME, HIS LAST BOOK HAD SOLD A MILLION COPIES AND
+BROUGHT HIM IN OVER THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS! WHAT’S A MAN TO DO A
+CASE LIKE THAT? HE’S GOT MORE BOOKS MAKING, HE SAYS. I SHALL HAVE TO LET
+THE FOOLISH GIRL THROW HERSELF AWAY ON HIM, IF SHE WANTS TO.”]
+
+[Illustration: THE LATEST SCANDAL]
+
+[Illustration: ELOPEMENT À LA GASOLINE]
+
+[Illustration: THE NEW PUPIL
+
+A CANDIDATE FOR POST-GRADUATE HONORS]
+
+[Illustration: “IF THE DUKE PROPOSES WHAT SHALL I DO?”
+
+“MAKE THE BEST BARGAIN YOU CAN, MY DEAR.”]
+
+[Illustration: VACATION TIME]
+
+[Illustration: “I see that Professor Gigham, the celebrated all-around
+scientist, is going to marry that college girl.”
+
+“What’s that for?”
+
+“He wants to complete his education.”]
+
+[Illustration: WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO TURN UP
+
+(SCENE IN ANY HOTEL CORRIDOR)]
+
+[Illustration: GRANDFATHER: “SAY, WILLIE, DON’T YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH A
+TOY SHOP WITH ME THIS AFTERNOON AND SEE ALL THE PRETTY THINGS?”
+
+“I’M WILLING TO, POP, IF YOU WILL GET ANY PLEASURE OUT OF IT.”]
+
+[Illustration: THE SIGN PAINTER]
+
+[Illustration: LIFE’S VAUDEVILLE
+
+“I’LL BE A SISTER TO YOU”]
+
+[Illustration: THE THIRTIETH OF MAY]
+
+[Illustration: “DID YOU KISS THE BRIDE?”
+
+“NO, I’M GOING TO WAIT UNTIL THEY COME BACK FROM THEIR HONEYMOON AND GET
+SETTLED DOWN.”]
+
+[Illustration: MAKING UP HIS----?]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: AN INTERRUPTED STORY]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration: YES OR NO]
+
+[Illustration: SUGGESTION
+
+WIFE: THE ICE DOESN’T LOOK VERY STRONG DOES IT?
+
+PERHAPS YOU’D BETTER TRY IT; YOU KNOW YOU WEIGH MORE THAN I DO.]
+
+[Illustration: THE STORY OF AN EMPTY SLEEVE.]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 64604 ***