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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #64562 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/64562)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Grand Cham's Diamond, by Allan Monkhouse
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: The Grand Cham's Diamond
- A Play in One Act
-
-Author: Allan Monkhouse
-
-Release Date: February 14, 2021 [eBook #64562]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Paul Haxo with special thanks to Google and the Bodleian
- Libraries.
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GRAND CHAM'S DIAMOND ***
-
-
-
-
-REPERTORY PLAYS, No. 44
-
-THE GRAND CHAM’S DIAMOND
-
-
-
-
-Entered at the Library of Congress, Washington, U.S.A.
-
-The performing rights of this play are fully protected.
-
-All applications for permission to perform “The Grand Cham’s Diamond” in
-the British Empire (except Canada) must be addressed to Mr Allan
-Monkhouse, Meadow Bank, Disley, Cheshire. For permission to perform in
-America and Canada, to The Baker International Play Bureau, 41 Winter
-Street, Boston, Mass.
-
-The fee for each and every representation of the play by amateurs in the
-British Empire (except Canada) is one guinea; in America and Canada,
-five dollars. These sums are payable in advance, and no performance may
-take place unless a written permission has first been obtained.
-
-The terms for performance by professionals can be ascertained on
-application.
-
-
-
-
-THE GRAND CHAM’S DIAMOND
-
-A PLAY IN ONE ACT
-
-
-BY
-
-ALLAN MONKHOUSE
-
-
-GOWANS & GRAY, LTD., LONDON AND GLASGOW
-
-THE BAKER INTERNATIONAL PLAY BUREAU
-
-BOSTON, U.S.A. 1924
-
-
-
-
-Printed in Great Britain
-
-by Turnbull & Spears, Edinburgh
-
-
-
-
-CHARACTERS
-
- MRS PERKINS
- MR PERKINS
- MISS PERKINS
- A MAN IN BLACK
- ALBERT WATKINS
-
-_This play was first produced at the Birmingham Repertory Theatre on
-September 21, 1918, by Mr John Drinkwater, with the following cast:_
-
- Mrs Perkins . CATHLEEN ORFORD
- Mr Perkins . REGINALD GATTY
- Miss Perkins . SIDNEY LEON
- A Man in Black . NOEL SHAMMON
- Albert Watkins . J. ADRIAN BYRNE
-
-
-
-
-THE GRAND CHAM’S DIAMOND
-
-
-SCENE: _A sitting-room in a small house in a London suburb. The window
-is in the wall to the left of the spectator and the door in the right
-half of the back wall. The furniture is ordinary. On the chimneypiece,
-to the right of the spectator, is a clock. The room is lit by electric
-light. It is some time after the evening meal. Mr Perkins is reading a
-newspaper. Mrs Perkins is darning a sock, and Miss Perkins is engaged
-upon a jigsaw puzzle._
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What I mean t’ say is that it’s not much fun for us.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-All right, Ma.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-(_Engaged on her puzzle._) Bother!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-It makes a long evenin’ of it. Same every night. We ’ave our tea and
-then we just set down till it’s time to go to bed. It’s not fair.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Same for all of us.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-That it’s not.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Why isn’t it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Do y’ or do y’ not go out o’ this ’ouse every mornin’ and spend the day
-out?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’d be a poor job for you if I didn’t.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I don’t say anythin’ about that. I don’t interfere.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’Ow could y’ interfere?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Bother!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Don’t interrup’ like that when me and your pa’s talkin’, Polly.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-My name isn’t Polly.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-What is it?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-It’s Marie.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Well, I’m blowed!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-An’ why shouldn’t she ’ave a bit of a change? She’s tired of bein’
-Polly.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I do think we might have a little more change.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Don’t you start.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-We might have gone out to the pictures to-night, as Mother said.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Your young man might ’ave come and found you out.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-You know he’s engaged in the evenings.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Yes, and what at?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Never mind!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I do think, Polly, that he ought to be a bit more open with you. What
-_does_ he do?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Ay; what does Albert Watkins do?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Never you mind!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’E’s never told ’er.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I ’ope it’s nothin’ to be ashamed of.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-P’raps I know more than you think.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’As ’e said?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-It’s confidential.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Oh! I know that tale.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Well, Polly’s got ’er young man and you’ve got your business an’ out all
-day seein’ people. What ’ave I got?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Well, what should y’ ’ave? What does any woman ’ave? I dunno what you’re
-botherin’ about. Y’ ’ad a week at Margate this year.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_Derisively_.) ’Ome from ’ome!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-A good woman ought to like ’er ’ome.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I never said I didn’t like it.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Well----
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’Ome’s a place to come back to.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Mother’s romantic. That’s what she is.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What _is_ that, Polly? It’s a word I never rightly----
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Romantic! At ’er age!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-You know what it is, do y’?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’s penny dreadfuls and the pictures and gassin’ about love and the
-deep blue sea.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Well, y’ might do worse.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Whatever’s come over ’er?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I’ve always thought I should like to travel.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-(_At her puzzle._) I think there’s a bit missing.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Eh? A bit missin’? That’s the way with me; there’s always bin a bit
-missin’.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I dunno why y’re startin’ like this now. Y’ve ’ad all these years to
-settle down in. What’s come over yer?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Eh! Don’t ask me. I think ’er Albert’s comin’ about ’as unsettled me.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Albert!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Well, I see ’im an’ you and I think what might ’a’ been.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-What’s that?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Well, I was young onct.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-But y’re not now.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-You’ve no call to throw it in m’ teeth.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Teeth indeed!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Don’t be insultin’, Mr Perkins.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I wasn’t bein’.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Yes, y’ was.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I don’t see why Albert should unsettle you.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-If I was you I’d want to know ’ow ’e spends ’is evenings.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-It’s no business of yours, Ma.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’ll be some bus’ness of mine. I think it’s about time Albert spoke to
-me.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Spoke to you?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Placed ’is position an’ prospects before me.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Well, I believe he’s a confidential agent.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-A what!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-What sort of a’ agent?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-It’s confidential--or financial p’raps.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-He’s kiddin’ yer.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Do they work at night?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I’ve always understood that Rothschilds and people like that did this
-business at parties--on the quiet.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Bosh!
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, very well, Pa.
-
-[_Miss Perkins settles to her puzzle. Mrs Perkins darns stolidly. Mr
-Perkins returns to the paper. A short pause._
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Well, it’s too late for the movies now.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Ah! That’s it.
-
-[_She finds the missing bit._
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What’s in the paper, Pa?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-There’s a Cabinet crisis.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Isn’t there anythin’ interestin’?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’Ere’s a child stole a shillin’ an’ swallowed it t’ escape detection.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Poor thing!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’Ere! Is this more in your line? Great Jewel Robbery! The Grand Cham’s
-Diamond missing.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Eh! What’s that?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Who is the Grand Cham?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’E’s--one o’ them Eastern potentates. ’E’s been stayin’ at the Majestic
-Hotel. The dimond was taken out of the settin’ and a walnut substituted.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-A walnut! It must be a whopper.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Why did they substitute a walnut?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-You must substitute somethin’.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Why?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I don’t know. They always do. The brightest treasure of the East. Not
-the slightest trace. Supposed Asiatic gang. Sherlock Holmes and Father
-Brown have been summoned and a telegram despatched to Mossier Lecock.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_With satisfaction._) Well, that’s somethin’ like.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-What’s it worth?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Eh! I dunno. Thousands, thousands. They say it makes the Koh-i-noor take
-a back seat.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Reelly?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-What ’ud you do, old lady, if I brought it ’ome for y’r birthday?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Well, I’d wear it, I s’pose.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-You’d never dare, Ma.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I would that.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-But thieves’d always be after it.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What ’d these thieves do with it when they’ve got it?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I s’pose they chop it up and sell it in bits.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What a shame!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I dessay they’re off to South America.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Why?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-No extrydition.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What’s that? D’ y’ mean last ’dition extra?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-No, Ma. It means that thieves can’t be turned out.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Why not?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’s like it used to be with slaves here. Once the South American flag’s
-waved over ’em, they’re all right.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-It isn’t all one country there, Pa.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Well, I reckon they’re much of a muchness.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-An’ could you sell it there?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Yes, they’re great people for jewl’ry.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Polly, you’re doin’ nothin’. Y’ might as well be mendin’ that blind.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, bother!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-It looks bad hangin’ down like that.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-(_Going towards the window._) People’ll see in.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-There’s not many passin’ at this time o’ night.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-It makes it so public. (_She takes the blind from the lower part of
-the window and begins to mend it._) Where’s the white thread, Ma?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Here y’ are. Now, make a job of it.
-
-[_Mr Perkins has returned to his paper, his daughter is more or less
-intent on her work, Mrs Perkins darns and yawns. Mr Perkins snores
-gently._
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Might as well all be asleep.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Listen, Ma!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Somebody runnin’. Seem in an ’urry.
-
-[_Something crashes through the window and falls with broken glass
-upon the floor._
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Good gracious!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Mercy on us!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-(_Waking up_.) Fire! Where is it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Nonsense, Pa! It’s them boys. Out arter ’em.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-What! Where?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-No. Don’t go. Don’t leave us. It can’t be boys.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-(_Seeing the broken window._) This is very careless, Polly.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-It wasn’t me. It’s a stone, I think.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-They’re far enough now. Where is it?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I’m all of a tremble.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-You ought to ’ave run right out, Pa, and you might ’ave caught ’em. I
-never did see such a thing.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’s an outrage, this is. Did y’ see anybody?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-We ’eard somebody runnin’.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I thought I ’eard somebody passing after that. Quietly like. Runnin’
-very light.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Nonsense, Polly. Better put that blind up now.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-You put it up.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Do as I tell you.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I don’t like.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’Ere, ’ere. Give it me.
-
-[_She puts it up and peers out into the street._
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Come away, Ma.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Where’s the stone?
-
-[_They all look about the floor._
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Here it is. Here’s something. (_She picks it up._) Why! it’s a lump
-of glass.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Let’s look!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Let me see.
-
-[_They crowd round._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I say!
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-What is it? What is it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Give it me, Polly.
-
-[_She grabs it._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Hold it up to the light.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Why! What can it be?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_Relinquishing it to her husband._) Nonsense! Nonsense!
-
-[_She goes back to her chair and begins to fumble with her darning.
-She is greatly agitated._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’s a rum thing, this is.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Eh! Isn’t it beautiful?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It might be a----
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Diamond?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Nonsense!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_Rushing forward._) Hide it!
-
-[_She seizes the diamond and looks about the room._
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Why! What d’ y’ mean, Ma!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-It’s it.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-(_Feebly._) What’s it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-You know.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-What--what--what rubbish! The idea!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_Looking at it in her palm._) It’s the Grand Cham’s dimond.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Then it’s dangerous.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Never mind that.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-What shall we do?
-
-[_She begins to whimper._
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Stop that, Polly.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-P’raps we’d better look out for a policeman.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-No.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-If it is it we’re not safe.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I don’t care.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-But what d’ y’ want to do?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Here! Let’s put it inside the clock. (_She opens the back of the clock
-and crams it in._) Now!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-What are y’ up to, Ma?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I wish you’d throw it out in the street again.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-No, no.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-But what _are_ y’ up to?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-It’s come to us, this ’as. We’ll stick to it if we can.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-But----
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, Ma!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-They may not find the ’ouse again. They’re all alike in this street.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-There’s the broken window.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Let’s ’ave the bits of glass out. Then it won’t be noticed.
-
-[_She peers out into the street. Then she begins to pluck the
-fragments of broken glass from the window. She winces and licks her
-finger._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-You’ve cut yourself now.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Never mind that. Polly, pick all the bits off the floor. Don’t leave a
-trace.
-
-[_She licks her finger. Polly obeys._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Now, what’s all this about?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-(_On the floor._) I dunno what’s come over ’er.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’Ere, Polly, look alive. ’Ave y’ got ’em all?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-All I can find.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Drat it! A bit’s fallen outside. Go out and pick it up, Pa. No; p’raps
-better not.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Look here! What’s y’r game?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Give here! (_She takes all the fragments together and puts them under
-the sofa cushion. She looks round the room, listens at the window and
-returns to her darning_.) If anyone comes, mind we know nothin’ about
-it.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It depends ’oo comes, doesn’t it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-No.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It might be the police.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Never mind the police.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Why! What d’ y’ mean? What _do_ y’ mean?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-It’s the chanct of a lifetime. We’ll take it.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, Ma!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Look ’ere----
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-It’s come to us. It might a’ bin the answer to a prayer.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Was it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Not exactly, but I’ve been thinkin’ a lot.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-More likely the devil.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-There’s no such thing. Y’re talkin’ nonsense.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-No devil. Then is there God?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-There may be. ’E may ’av sent it.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’s awful talk, this.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Why! What could you do with it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Chop it up and sell it.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Where?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-In South America.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Good ’eavens!
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Ma, how can you?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’Ave y’ took leave of y’r senses?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Yes, if y’ like.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Well, I’ve ’eard tell as women aren’t honest like men and now I know it.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’Ow do I know you’re honest?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I’ve never took a thing in my life. I’ve a record, ’aven’t I?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I dessay. I dunno. I won’t give it up. I won’t. I won’t. So there!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’Ow can y’ ’elp it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I’ve sat there darnin’ and mendin’, waitin’ and dozin’ till I’m tired.
-I’ve never ’ad a go at anythin’. The chanct ’as come.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I did think you were honest, Ma.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Honest! It’s ours.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’Ow can it be?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’Oo’s is it?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Why! That Grand Cham’s.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-An’ ’ow did ’e get it? ’E’s a tyrant. ’E stole it off some nigger. Now
-it’s come to me. It’s mine. It’s mine as much as anyone’s. It’s come
-like a miracle.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-But you can’t keep it.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Y’r ma amazes me.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-First thing in the mornin’ y’ll get a list o’ them ships sailin’ for
-South America.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, Ma! Ma!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-She’s off ’er chump.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I’ll go alone if y’ like.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’s dangerous. It’s dangerous. There may be a revolver levelled at y’
-now.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I don’t care.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I never knew she was like this.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-South America? Where?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Y’ shall ’ave jewels and dresses no end, Polly.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Don’t, Ma.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-South America! Like that chap Jabez Balfour.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-He was brought back, wasn’t he?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-I object to be put along of ’im, any’ow.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-We’d manage better than that. Riches! Livin’ at ease. Motors an’
-champagne. We’ve never ’ad a chanct!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It can’t be done. It’s all nonsense. An’ it’s ’orrible to think of.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Oh! It’s a beautiful thing. I couldn’t bear to break it up. We’ll keep
-it. We’ll look at it now and then. Every Sunday.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Sunday!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I could go on settin’ ’ere if I knew it was there all the time. I think
-I could be ’appy.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-You’d never be safe.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Safe! I’ve bin too safe.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Oh, missis! Oh, missis!
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-It’s strange nobody’s come.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Nobody’s comin’. It’s a gift.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It may not be--what y’ think.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_Fiercely._) It is.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Then they’ll be after us. Police--or worse.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Let ’em come.
-
-[_There is a ring at the door-bell. They all stand tense._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Now, there.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, dear!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-You’ll not say a word. You’ll do as I tell you. Mind that. We know
-nothing.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-There’s the window.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Leave that to me.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Oh! But, I say----
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Thomas Perkins, you’ll rue it to your dyin’ day if----
-
-[_The ring again._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Who’s goin’?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I am. Remember!
-
-[_She goes out._
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-What are we to do, Pa?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Eh! I’m beat.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Shall we throw it out of the window?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-No, no. Best not. Humour her a bit. It may be nothin’.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_Outside._) No, you don’t. ’Ere. I tell yer----
-
-STRANGER
-
-Excuse me.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Pa, ’ere’s a man forcin’ ’is way----
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, dear!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Dash it all! I say!
-
-[_Mrs Perkins and a dark Stranger, dressed in black, enter together.
-She is resisting his advance, but he presses on ruthlessly. As he enters
-she gives way and changes her tactics._
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Well, I must say! Pushin’ a lady about like that! What bis’ness ’ave y’
-’ere?
-
-STRANGER
-
-I’ve told you, madam.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-A fine tale! Y’r boy an’ ’is glass marble! Where is ’e? I tell yer we
-know nothin’ about it. Do we, Pa?
-
-[_Behind the Stranger, with a terrific frown, she shakes her fist at
-him._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-(_Feebly blustering_.) Now what’s all this?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, Ma!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Shut up!
-
-STRANGER
-
-I’m sorry to intrude, sir, but I’ve lost something in your room.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What nonsense! ’Ow could yer?
-
-STRANGER
-
-As I have told this lady, my little boy----
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Where is ’e?
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_To Mr Perkins_.) His favourite glass marble. He pretended to
-throw it. It slipped from his hand and, I am sorry to say, went through
-your window. I apologise and shall be glad to pay. Please give me
-the--marble at once. Where is it? I’ve no time to lose.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Where’s the boy?
-
-STRANGER
-
-He’s just round the corner.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-D’ y’ expect us to believe that tale?
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_With a flash of menace._) You’d better. (_To Mr Perkins_.)
-Now, sir!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’s a bit thick, y’ know; I mean thin.
-
-STRANGER
-
-It will have to do. No trifling. Come!
-
-[_He is looking about the room, having cursorily glanced at the floor.
-He strides to the window and pulls down the blind._
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-None o’ y’r liberties here. Get out!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’Ere, y’ know! _(Aside to Mrs Perkins_.) Ma, I don’t like it.
-
-STRANGER
-
-The devil! Where’s the glass?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What glass?
-
-STRANGER
-
-The pane’s gone. You see! I knew this was the house.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-That’s easy explained.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, Ma! Tell him and----
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Of course I’ll tell ’im. (_She menaces Miss Perkins surreptitiously_.)
-It’s my daughter’s newfangled ideas of ventilation. She would ’ave it
-so. It’s been that way a fortnight. No--let’s see--to-day’s Tuesday.
-Nigh on a month.
-
-STRANGER
-
-Damnation! Where is it? Where’s the diamond?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_With a shriek of exultation._) The diamond!
-
-STRANGER
-
-Yes, let me tell you then. Your lives are in danger. You’ve got the
-Grand Cham’s diamond.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’Ow did it get ’ere?
-
-STRANGER
-
-The thief was pursued. He threw it in.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-(_Querulously._) Why did ’e throw it in ’ere?
-
-STRANGER
-
-Don’t be a fool.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-An’ ’oo are you?
-
-STRANGER
-
-I am--the Grand Cham’s representative.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Prove it.
-
-STRANGER
-
-Enough of this.
-
-[_He draws a revolver. Miss Perkins shrieks. Mr Perkins recoils and
-edges away. Mrs Perkins stands firm._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Ma! Ma!
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_Rapping the butt of the revolver on the table._) Where is it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I’ll tell yer.
-
-STRANGER
-
-At once.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I’ve swallered it.
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_Greatly discomposed._) What!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-It went down as easy as a oyster.
-
-STRANGER
-
-Swallowed it! You’re joking!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-No. I got the idea out of the evenin’ paper. Where is it, Pa? ’Ere.
-“Child swallows Shillin’. Curious Case.”
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_To the others_.) Is this true?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, I don’t know.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Y’ see, I was asleep.
-
-STRANGER
-
-Asleep!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Wasn’t I, Mother?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’E’d sleep through anythin’.
-
-STRANGER
-
-D’ you mean to say----? Where is it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I’ve just told yer.
-
-STRANGER
-
-On your oath----
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Oath! D’ y’ doubt the word of a lady?
-
-STRANGER
-
-Then--d’ you feel it--I mean--whereabouts is it now?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I don’t think that’s a question a gentleman ’d ask.
-
-STRANGER
-
-Kites of hell! You’ll have to be cut open.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Nay, I won’t.
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_To himself._) Cremation? Would it melt the diamond?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I won’t be cremated. There! Y’ ’ve to get the deceased’s consent. I’m
-goin’ to be buried when my time comes.
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_Pacing about in agitation while Mrs Perkins controls the others by
-nods and winks._) What’s to be done? An emetic?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-You’d better go ’ome an’ say it’s lost.
-
-STRANGER
-
-Unhappy woman! Do you understand that your life is a trifle, a pawn in
-the game?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Pawn! Yes, an’ y’ can’t get it out without the ticket.
-
-STRANGER
-
-It’s impossible. It can’t be. (_He turns on the others._) The
-truth! Did she swallow it? If she did, she dies.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, no, no. She didn’t.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-You silly!
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, Ma!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Ma, Ma, what can we do?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Y can ’old y’r tongues. Y’re no ’elp at all.
-
-STRANGER
-
-What folly this is! What can you do with it? That diamond means death to
-you. Death! Destruction! You haven’t a chance of keeping it. You’re mad.
-Your lives now are not worth a minute’s purchase.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Give it up, Ma. I’ll tell you where it is. It’s----
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_In a terrible voice._) Stop!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-What can you do, Ma? Chuck it! Chuck it!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’E don’t bluff me. ’E’s in a great ’urry. I believe ’e’s the thief.
-
-STRANGER
-
-Thousand devils! We’re wasting time. (_He looks at the clock and then
-plucks out his watch._) Your clock’s slow. It’s stopped. It was that
-time when I came in.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Tell him. Tell him.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Oh, chuck it!
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_Perceiving that he is getting “warm.”_) What stopped the
-clock?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-(_Hysterically._) Give it ’im.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Polly, I’m ashamed of yer.
-
-[_A face appears at the window, but they do not see it._
-
-STRANGER
-
-Is it there?
-
-[_He makes for the clock, and Mrs Perkins throws herself in front._
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-No, it’s not; and y’ shan’t meddle with my furniture.
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_Pointing the revolver at her_.) Move aside!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Move aside yerself.
-
-STRANGER
-
-(_He hesitates, then turns the revolver on Miss Perkins._) Is it
-there? Quick!
-
-[_Miss Perkins shrieks, a hand with a revolver in it is thrust through
-the empty pane, the revolver is fired, the Stranger drops his, stamps,
-curses, and wrings his hands. A man opens the window-sash and springs
-into the room._
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Albert!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What! It’s Albert.
-
-[_The Stranger rushes to the switch and turns off the light. Darkness,
-shouting, and confusion. The light is turned on. The furniture is
-disarranged, the Stranger and the clock have gone, the others are
-distributed about the room, Mrs Perkins sitting in the chair she first
-occupied._
-
-ALBERT
-
-Who’s got it?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-He’s gone.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh! Albert!
-
-ALBERT
-
-Where’s the diamond?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It was in the clock.
-
-ALBERT
-
-The clock? Where is it?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh! Albert!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’E’s taken it. ’E’s got the clock.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Nay, ’e ’asn’t.
-
-[_She produces the clock from under her petticoats._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Well, I’m blowed!
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, Ma!
-
-ALBERT
-
-What is it? Have you got it?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-I’ve got it right enough.
-
-[_She carries the clock to the chimneypiece, opens it, and takes out
-the diamond._
-
-Will that gentleman come back?
-
-ALBERT
-
-No, he won’t.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-How d’ y’ know?
-
-ALBERT
-
-I know.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Polly, just put that blind back, will yer? I don’t like bein’ too
-public.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh! I daren’t.
-
-ALBERT
-
-Now, ma’am, give it to me.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Eh?
-
-ALBERT
-
-Let’s have it. Quick.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Where d’ you come in, Albert?
-
-ALBERT
-
-Come on. This’ll be the making o’ me.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-O’ me too, I ’ope. But ’adn’t we all better be movin’?
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Where to, Ma?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Out at the back door. Pack a few things in a bag.
-
-ALBERT
-
-What are y’ up to? Whad’ y’r mean?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Now, Albert, there’s no time to make explanations. We’re all in at this,
-aren’t we?
-
-ALBERT
-
-Well--in a way. But look here----
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-South America’s the place, isn’t it? D’ y’ know anythin’ o’ the
-sailin’s! Or ’ad we better cross to France? Better take the midnight
-train somewhere.
-
-ALBERT
-
-Has she gone dotty?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Y’re all asleep. Come on, Polly. A few things in a bag. Now, Pa. Better
-put this light out p’raps. Is the front door shut? Look at the
-time-table, Pa.
-
-[_She is making for the door when Albert intercepts her._
-
-ALBERT
-
-Give me the diamond. I dunno what y’re talkin’ about.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Nay, I stick to this.
-
-ALBERT
-
-You can’t! What nonsense! Give it here! This job’s the making o’ me.
-Let’s have it.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Nay, it’s mine an’ I’ll stick to it.
-
-ALBERT
-
-Yours!
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Yes. Dimonds like this belongs to them as can get ’em. Nobody’s honest
-with things like this. I got it an’ y’ shall all share. But it’s mine.
-It’s mine. Eh! It’s a beauty. I’d stick to this if all the p’lice in
-London was after me.
-
-ALBERT
-
-Y’d do what?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Ay, an’ Scotland Yard too.
-
-ALBERT
-
-Bah! _I_’m Scotland Yard.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-What!
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh! Albert!
-
-ALBERT
-
-Didn’t y’ know? Didn’t y’ guess? Didn’t y’ understand? What did y’ take
-me for?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-D’y mean to say----?
-
-ALBERT
-
-I mean t’ say it’s ’igh time I was on my way back with this dimond. The
-gang’s all rounded up by this time.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-The gang?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-That feller was one of ’em, then? Where is he?
-
-ALBERT
-
-He was copped when he left ’ere. Y’ didn’t know y’r ’ouse was
-surrounded.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-But ’ow did the dimond come ’ere? ’Oo threw it in?
-
-ALBERT
-
-I did.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-You!
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-You did!
-
-ALBERT
-
-I did that.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Why?
-
-ALBERT
-
-Becos they were after me. I was a dead man if I stuck to it then. I
-threw it in ’ere to gain time and knowin’ the ’ouse.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Well, I never!
-
-ALBERT
-
-They’re a desp’rate lot.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-It’s all most unusual. Never since I’ve been an ’ouse’older ’ave I----
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Oh, Albert! You might ’ave told me.
-
-ALBERT
-
-I ’ad my reasons.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Y’re a detective, then?
-
-ALBERT
-
-I am that. So let’s ’ave it. I tell yer I must be off.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_Holding up the diamond, but away from him._) Look at it, Albert!
-
-ALBERT
-
-I see it.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Can y’ be honest? Look at it!
-
-ALBERT
-
-She’s off ’er chump.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-She doesn’t reelly mean it. I’ve borne a ’igh character all my life.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_Passionately._) It’s _my_ dimond.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I’m ashamed of my ma.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-My employers ’as always put the utmost confidence in me.
-
-ALBERT
-
-What’s she up to? Now ma’am, you’ll just ’and that over or----
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Or?
-
-ALBERT
-
-(_He produces a whistle._) I wouldn’t ’andle yer myself.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-That’s it, is it?
-
-ALBERT
-
-That’s it.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Then let it go the way it came.
-
-[_She throws it through the window._
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-’Old on. There’s another pane gone!
-
-ALBERT
-
-O ’ell!
-
-[_He rushes out._
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-You’ll ruin us, Ma.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_Dusting one hand against the other._) A good shuttance.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-(_At the window._) Oh! I hope he’ll find it. There he is, and a
-policeman’s with him. They’ve got it, I think. Yes. Albert, Albert! I
-wish he’d look up. They’re seeing if it’s damaged. There! He’s waved his
-hand.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-(_She has settled into her chair_.) Well, we’ve ’ad quite a busy
-evenin’.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I don’t know what Albert’ll think of you.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’E’s not going to marry me, thank ’eaven.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-D’ y’ want t’ know what _I_ think of yer?
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Go on! Y’ve no ’magernation.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-I never thought to be ashamed of my own mother.
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-Wantin’ in the very el’ments of morality. I wonder ’ow Sossiety ’d get
-on if they was all like you.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Polly, put up that blind. It’s a bit chilly with them broken panes.
-
-MISS PERKINS
-
-Most unladylike as well.
-
-[_They settle down into their chairs again. Mrs Perkins takes up her
-darning and Mr Perkins the paper. After putting up the blind Miss
-Perkins returns to her puzzle._
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-’Ow much did y’ say it was worth, Pa?
-
-MR PERKINS
-
-(_Gruffly._) Never mind.
-
-MRS PERKINS
-
-Well, I ’ad my bit o’ fun for onct.
-
-CURTAIN
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber’s Note
-
-
-This transcription is based on the 1924 edition published by Gowans
-& Gray in London and Glasgow. Scanned images of a copy made available by
-the Bodleian Library are posted by Google:
-
-https://books.google.com/books?id=B2MVAAAAQAAJ
-
-The following changes were made to the printed text:
-
---The formatting of stage directions following lines—that is, those
-that begin with an opening square bracket—has been standardized.
-
---Pg 34: _As he enters she gives way and changes her tactics_—Added
-a period to the end of the sentence.
-
---Pg 37: Prove it—Added a period to the end of the line.
-
-
-
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-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GRAND CHAM'S DIAMOND ***
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-<body>
-
-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Grand Cham's Diamond, by Allan Monkhouse</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<table style='min-width:0; padding:0; margin-left:0; border-collapse:collapse'>
- <tr><td>Title:</td><td>The Grand Cham's Diamond</td></tr>
- <tr><td></td><td>A Play in One Act</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Allan Monkhouse</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: February 14, 2021 [eBook #64562]</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Paul Haxo with special thanks to Google and the Bodleian Libraries.</div>
-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GRAND CHAM'S DIAMOND ***</div>
-<div class="image">
-<p class="center">
-<img src="images/cover.png" alt="Cover" width="311" height="500" title="" />
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter" id="Half-title">
-<p class="series">
-REPERTORY PLAYS, No. 44
-</p>
-<p class="half_title">
-THE GRAND CHAM’S DIAMOND
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter rights" id="Rights">
-<p class="rights">
-Entered at the Library of Congress, Washington, U.S.A.
-</p>
-<p class="rights">
-The performing rights of this play are fully protected.
-</p>
-<p class="rights">
-All applications for permission to perform “The Grand Cham’s Diamond” in
-the British Empire (except Canada) must be addressed to Mr Allan
-Monkhouse, Meadow Bank, Disley, Cheshire. For permission to perform in
-America and Canada, to The Baker International Play Bureau, 41 Winter
-Street, Boston, Mass.
-</p>
-<p class="rights">
-The fee for each and every representation of the play by amateurs in the
-British Empire (except Canada) is one guinea; in America and Canada,
-five dollars. These sums are payable in advance, and no performance may
-take place unless a written permission has first been obtained.
-</p>
-<p class="rights">
-The terms for performance by professionals can be ascertained on
-application.
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter" id="Title-page">
-<h1 class="title">
-THE GRAND CHAM’S<br />
-DIAMOND
-</h1>
-<p class="subtitle">
-A PLAY IN ONE ACT
-</p>
-<p class="by">
-BY
-</p>
-<p class="author">
-ALLAN MONKHOUSE
-</p>
-<p class="publisher">
-GOWANS &amp; GRAY, L<small>TD</small>., L<small>ONDON</small> <small>AND</small> G<small>LASGOW</small><br />
-<small>THE BAKER INTERNATIONAL PLAY BUREAU</small><br />
-<small>B<small>OSTON</small>, U.S.A.&nbsp;&nbsp;1924</small>
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter printer" id="Printer">
-<p class="printer">
-Printed in Great Britain<br />
-by Turnbull &amp; Spears, Edinburgh
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter" id="Cast">
-<h3 class="cast">CHARACTERS</h3>
-
-<div class="cast_container">
-<div class="cast">
-<p class="char_name">
-M<small>RS</small> P<small>ERKINS</small>
-</p>
-<p class="char_name">
-M<small>R</small> P<small>ERKINS</small>
-</p>
-<p class="char_name">
-M<small>ISS</small> P<small>ERKINS</small>
-</p>
-<p class="char_name">
-A M<small>AN</small> <small>IN</small> B<small>LACK</small>
-</p>
-<p class="char_name">
-A<small>LBERT</small> W<small>ATKINS</small>
-</p>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="smallishfont hang">
-<i>This play was first produced at the Birmingham Repertory Theatre on
-September 21, 1918, by Mr John Drinkwater, with the following cast:</i>
-</p>
-
-<table class="pad_top_half_em" border="0" cellpadding="0"
-cellspacing="0" summary="cast">
-<tbody>
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl_role italics">Mrs Perkins</td>
-
-<td class="tdc">.</td>
-
-<td class="tdl_act">C<small>ATHLEEN</small> O<small>RFORD</small></td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl_role italics">Mr Perkins</td>
-
-<td class="tdc">.</td>
-
-<td class="tdl_act">R<small>EGINALD</small> G<small>ATTY</small></td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl_role italics">Miss Perkins</td>
-
-<td class="tdc">.</td>
-
-<td class="tdl_act">S<small>IDNEY</small> L<small>EON</small></td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl_role italics">A Man in Black</td>
-
-<td class="tdc">.</td>
-
-<td class="tdl_act">N<small>OEL</small> S<small>HAMMON</small></td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl_role italics">Albert Watkins</td>
-
-<td class="tdc">.</td>
-
-<td class="tdl_act">J. A<small>DRIAN</small> B<small>YRNE</small></td>
-</tr>
-</tbody>
-</table>
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter" id="Text">
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-7">[Pg 7]</a></span></p>
-
-<h3 class="title">
-THE GRAND CHAM’S DIAMOND
-</h3>
-
-<p class="hang">
-S<small>CENE</small>: <i>A sitting-room in a small house in a London suburb. The window
-is in the wall to the left of the spectator and the door in the right
-half of the back wall. The furniture is ordinary. On the chimneypiece,
-to the right of the spectator, is a clock. The room is lit by electric
-light. It is some time after the evening meal. Mr Perkins is reading a
-newspaper. Mrs Perkins is darning a sock, and Miss Perkins is engaged
-upon a jigsaw puzzle.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What I mean t’ say is that it’s not much fun for us.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-All right, Ma.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Engaged on her puzzle.</i>) Bother!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It makes a long evenin’ of it. Same every night. We ’ave our tea and
-then we just set down till it’s time to go to bed. It’s not fair.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Same for all of us.
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-<span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-8">[Pg 8]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-That it’s not.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why isn’t it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Do y’ or do y’ not go out o’ this ’ouse every mornin’ and spend the day
-out?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’d be a poor job for you if I didn’t.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I don’t say anythin’ about that. I don’t interfere.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ow could y’ interfere?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Bother!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Don’t interrup’ like that when me and your pa’s talkin’, Polly.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-My name isn’t Polly.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What is it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s Marie.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I’m blowed!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-An’ why shouldn’t she ’ave a bit of a change? She’s tired of bein’
-Polly.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I do think we might have a little more change.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Don’t you start.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-We might have gone out to the pictures to-night, as Mother said.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Your young man might ’ave come and found you out.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You know he’s engaged in the evenings.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Yes, and what at?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Never mind!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I do think, Polly, that he ought to be a bit more open with you. What
-<i>does</i> he do?
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-10">[Pg 10]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Ay; what does Albert Watkins do?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Never you mind!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’E’s never told ’er.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I ’ope it’s nothin’ to be ashamed of.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-P’raps I know more than you think.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’As ’e said?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s confidential.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh! I know that tale.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, Polly’s got ’er young man and you’ve got your business an’ out all
-day seein’ people. What ’ave I got?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, what should y’ ’ave? What does any woman ’ave? I dunno what you’re
-botherin’ about. Y’ ’ad a week at Margate this year.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Derisively</i>.) ’Ome from ’ome!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-A good woman ought to like ’er ’ome.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I never said I didn’t like it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ome’s a place to come back to.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Mother’s romantic. That’s what she is.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What <i>is</i> that, Polly? It’s a word I never rightly&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Romantic! At ’er age!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You know what it is, do y’?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s penny dreadfuls and the pictures and gassin’ about love and the
-deep blue sea.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, y’ might do worse.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-12">[Pg 12]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Whatever’s come over ’er?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ve always thought I should like to travel.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>At her puzzle.</i>) I think there’s a bit missing.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Eh? A bit missin’? That’s the way with me; there’s always bin a bit
-missin’.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I dunno why y’re startin’ like this now. Y’ve ’ad all these years to
-settle down in. What’s come over yer?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Eh! Don’t ask me. I think ’er Albert’s comin’ about ’as unsettled me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Albert!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I see ’im an’ you and I think what might ’a’ been.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What’s that?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I was young onct.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-13">[Pg 13]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-But y’re not now.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You’ve no call to throw it in m’ teeth.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Teeth indeed!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Don’t be insultin’, Mr Perkins.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I wasn’t bein’.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Yes, y’ was.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I don’t see why Albert should unsettle you.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-If I was you I’d want to know ’ow ’e spends ’is evenings.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s no business of yours, Ma.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’ll be some bus’ness of mine. I think it’s about time Albert spoke to
-me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Spoke to you?
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-14">[Pg 14]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Placed ’is position an’ prospects before me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I believe he’s a confidential agent.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-A what!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What sort of a’ agent?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s confidential&mdash;or financial p’raps.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-He’s kiddin’ yer.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Do they work at night?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ve always understood that Rothschilds and people like that did this
-business at parties&mdash;on the quiet.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Bosh!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, very well, Pa.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>Miss Perkins settles to her puzzle. Mrs Perkins darns stolidly. Mr
-Perkins returns to the paper. A short pause.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, it’s too late for the movies now.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Ah! That’s it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She finds the missing bit.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What’s in the paper, Pa?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-There’s a Cabinet crisis.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Isn’t there anythin’ interestin’?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ere’s a child stole a shillin’ an’ swallowed it t’ escape detection.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Poor thing!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ere! Is this more in your line? Great Jewel Robbery! The Grand Cham’s
-Diamond missing.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Eh! What’s that?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Who is the Grand Cham?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’E’s&mdash;one o’ them Eastern potentates. ’E’s been stayin’ at the Majestic
-Hotel. The dimond<span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-16">[Pg 16]</a></span> was taken out of the settin’ and a walnut substituted.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-A walnut! It must be a whopper.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why did they substitute a walnut?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You must substitute somethin’.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I don’t know. They always do. The brightest treasure of the East. Not
-the slightest trace. Supposed Asiatic gang. Sherlock Holmes and Father
-Brown have been summoned and a telegram despatched to Mossier Lecock.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>With satisfaction.</i>) Well, that’s somethin’ like.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What’s it worth?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Eh! I dunno. Thousands, thousands. They say it makes the Koh-i-noor take
-a back seat.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Reelly?
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What ’ud you do, old lady, if I brought it ’ome for y’r birthday?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I’d wear it, I s’pose.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You’d never dare, Ma.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I would that.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-But thieves’d always be after it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What ’d these thieves do with it when they’ve got it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I s’pose they chop it up and sell it in bits.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What a shame!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I dessay they’re off to South America.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No extrydition.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-18">[Pg 18]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What’s that? D’ y’ mean last ’dition extra?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No, Ma. It means that thieves can’t be turned out.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why not?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s like it used to be with slaves here. Once the South American flag’s
-waved over ’em, they’re all right.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It isn’t all one country there, Pa.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I reckon they’re much of a muchness.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-An’ could you sell it there?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Yes, they’re great people for jewl’ry.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Polly, you’re doin’ nothin’. Y’ might as well be mendin’ that blind.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, bother!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It looks bad hangin’ down like that.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Going towards the window.</i>) People’ll see in.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-There’s not many passin’ at this time o’ night.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It makes it so public. (<i>She takes the blind from the lower part of
-the window and begins to mend it.</i>) Where’s the white thread, Ma?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Here y’ are. Now, make a job of it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>Mr Perkins has returned to his paper, his daughter is more or less
-intent on her work, Mrs Perkins darns and yawns. Mr Perkins snores
-gently.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Might as well all be asleep.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Listen, Ma!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Somebody runnin’. Seem in an ’urry.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>Something crashes through the window and falls with broken glass
-upon the floor.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Good gracious!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Mercy on us!
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-20">[Pg 20]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Waking up</i>.) Fire! Where is it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Nonsense, Pa! It’s them boys. Out arter ’em.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What! Where?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No. Don’t go. Don’t leave us. It can’t be boys.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Seeing the broken window.</i>) This is very careless, Polly.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It wasn’t me. It’s a stone, I think.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-They’re far enough now. Where is it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’m all of a tremble.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You ought to ’ave run right out, Pa, and you might ’ave caught ’em. I
-never did see such a thing.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s an outrage, this is. Did y’ see anybody?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-We ’eard somebody runnin’.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I thought I ’eard somebody passing after that. Quietly like. Runnin’
-very light.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Nonsense, Polly. Better put that blind up now.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You put it up.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Do as I tell you.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I don’t like.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ere, ’ere. Give it me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She puts it up and peers out into the street.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Come away, Ma.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Where’s the stone?
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>They all look about the floor.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Here it is. Here’s something. (<i>She picks it up.</i>) Why! it’s a lump
-of glass.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Let’s look!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Let me see.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>They crowd round.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-22">[Pg 22]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I say!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What is it? What is it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Give it me, Polly.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She grabs it.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Hold it up to the light.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why! What can it be?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Relinquishing it to her husband.</i>) Nonsense! Nonsense!
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She goes back to her chair and begins to fumble with her darning.
-She is greatly agitated.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s a rum thing, this is.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Eh! Isn’t it beautiful?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It might be a&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Diamond?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Nonsense!
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Rushing forward.</i>) Hide it!
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She seizes the diamond and looks about the room.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why! What d’ y’ mean, Ma!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Feebly.</i>) What’s it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You know.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What&mdash;what&mdash;what rubbish! The idea!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Looking at it in her palm.</i>) It’s the Grand Cham’s dimond.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Then it’s dangerous.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Never mind that.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What shall we do?
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She begins to whimper.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Stop that, Polly.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-24">[Pg 24]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-P’raps we’d better look out for a policeman.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-If it is it we’re not safe.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I don’t care.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-But what d’ y’ want to do?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Here! Let’s put it inside the clock. (<i>She opens the back of the clock
-and crams it in.</i>) Now!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What are y’ up to, Ma?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I wish you’d throw it out in the street again.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No, no.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-But what <i>are</i> y’ up to?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s come to us, this ’as. We’ll stick to it if we can.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-But&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, Ma!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-They may not find the ’ouse again. They’re all alike in this street.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-There’s the broken window.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Let’s ’ave the bits of glass out. Then it won’t be noticed.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She peers out into the street. Then she begins to pluck the
-fragments of broken glass from the window. She winces and licks her
-finger.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You’ve cut yourself now.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Never mind that. Polly, pick all the bits off the floor. Don’t leave a
-trace.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She licks her finger. Polly obeys.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Now, what’s all this about?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>On the floor.</i>) I dunno what’s come over ’er.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-26">[Pg 26]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ere, Polly, look alive. ’Ave y’ got ’em all?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-All I can find.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Drat it! A bit’s fallen outside. Go out and pick it up, Pa. No; p’raps
-better not.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Look here! What’s y’r game?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Give here! (<i>She takes all the fragments together and puts them under
-the sofa cushion. She looks round the room, listens at the window and
-returns to her darning</i>.) If anyone comes, mind we know nothin’ about
-it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It depends ’oo comes, doesn’t it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It might be the police.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Never mind the police.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why! What d’ y’ mean? What <i>do</i> y’ mean?
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s the chanct of a lifetime. We’ll take it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, Ma!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Look ’ere&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s come to us. It might a’ bin the answer to a prayer.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Was it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Not exactly, but I’ve been thinkin’ a lot.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-More likely the devil.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-There’s no such thing. Y’re talkin’ nonsense.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No devil. Then is there God?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-There may be. ’E may ’av sent it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s awful talk, this.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why! What could you do with it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-28">[Pg 28]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Chop it up and sell it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Where?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-In South America.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Good ’eavens!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Ma, how can you?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ave y’ took leave of y’r senses?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Yes, if y’ like.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I’ve ’eard tell as women aren’t honest like men and now I know it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ow do I know you’re honest?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ve never took a thing in my life. I’ve a record, ’aven’t I?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I dessay. I dunno. I won’t give it up. I won’t. I won’t. So there!
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ow can y’ ’elp it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ve sat there darnin’ and mendin’, waitin’ and dozin’ till I’m tired.
-I’ve never ’ad a go at anythin’. The chanct ’as come.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I did think you were honest, Ma.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Honest! It’s ours.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ow can it be?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Oo’s is it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why! That Grand Cham’s.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-An’ ’ow did ’e get it? ’E’s a tyrant. ’E stole it off some nigger. Now
-it’s come to me. It’s mine. It’s mine as much as anyone’s. It’s come
-like a miracle.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-But you can’t keep it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Y’r ma amazes me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-First thing in the mornin’ y’ll get a list o’ them ships sailin’ for
-South America.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, Ma! Ma!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-She’s off ’er chump.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ll go alone if y’ like.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s dangerous. It’s dangerous. There may be a revolver levelled at y’
-now.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I don’t care.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I never knew she was like this.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-South America? Where?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Y’ shall ’ave jewels and dresses no end, Polly.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Don’t, Ma.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-South America! Like that chap Jabez Balfour.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-He was brought back, wasn’t he?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I object to be put along of ’im, any’ow.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-We’d manage better than that. Riches! Livin’ at ease. Motors an’
-champagne. We’ve never ’ad a chanct!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It can’t be done. It’s all nonsense. An’ it’s ’orrible to think of.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh! It’s a beautiful thing. I couldn’t bear to break it up. We’ll keep
-it. We’ll look at it now and then. Every Sunday.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Sunday!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I could go on settin’ ’ere if I knew it was there all the time. I think
-I could be ’appy.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You’d never be safe.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Safe! I’ve bin too safe.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, missis! Oh, missis!
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-32">[Pg 32]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s strange nobody’s come.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Nobody’s comin’. It’s a gift.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It may not be&mdash;what y’ think.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Fiercely.</i>) It is.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Then they’ll be after us. Police&mdash;or worse.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Let ’em come.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>There is a ring at the door-bell. They all stand tense.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Now, there.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, dear!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You’ll not say a word. You’ll do as I tell you. Mind that. We know
-nothing.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-There’s the window.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Leave that to me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh! But, I say&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Thomas Perkins, you’ll rue it to your dyin’ day if&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>The ring again.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Who’s goin’?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I am. Remember!
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She goes out.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What are we to do, Pa?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Eh! I’m beat.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Shall we throw it out of the window?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No, no. Best not. Humour her a bit. It may be nothin’.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Outside.</i>) No, you don’t. ’Ere. I tell yer&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Excuse me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Pa, ’ere’s a man forcin’ ’is way&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, dear!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Dash it all! I say!
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>Mrs Perkins and a dark Stranger, dressed in black, enter together.
-She is resisting his advance, but he presses on ruthlessly. As he enters
-she gives way and changes her tactics.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I must say! Pushin’ a lady about like that! What bis’ness ’ave y’
-’ere?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ve told you, madam.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-A fine tale! Y’r boy an’ ’is glass marble! Where is ’e? I tell yer we
-know nothin’ about it. Do we, Pa?
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>Behind the Stranger, with a terrific frown, she shakes her fist at
-him.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Feebly blustering</i>.) Now what’s all this?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, Ma!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Shut up!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’m sorry to intrude, sir, but I’ve lost something in your room.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-35">[Pg 35]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What nonsense! ’Ow could yer?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-As I have told this lady, my little boy&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Where is ’e?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>To Mr Perkins</i>.) His favourite glass marble. He pretended to
-throw it. It slipped from his hand and, I am sorry to say, went through
-your window. I apologise and shall be glad to pay. Please give me
-the&mdash;marble at once. Where is it? I’ve no time to lose.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Where’s the boy?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-He’s just round the corner.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-D’ y’ expect us to believe that tale?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>With a flash of menace.</i>) You’d better. (<i>To Mr Perkins</i>.)
-Now, sir!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s a bit thick, y’ know; I mean thin.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-36">[Pg 36]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It will have to do. No trifling. Come!
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>He is looking about the room, having cursorily glanced at the floor.
-He strides to the window and pulls down the blind.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-None o’ y’r liberties here. Get out!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ere, y’ know! <i>(Aside to Mrs Perkins</i>.) Ma, I don’t like it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-The devil! Where’s the glass?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What glass?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-The pane’s gone. You see! I knew this was the house.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-That’s easy explained.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, Ma! Tell him and&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Of course I’ll tell ’im. (<i>She menaces Miss Perkins surreptitiously</i>.)
-It’s my daughter’s newfangled ideas of ventilation. She would ’ave it
-so. It’s been that way a fortnight. No&mdash;let’s<span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-37">[Pg 37]</a></span> see&mdash;to-day’s Tuesday.
-Nigh on a month.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Damnation! Where is it? Where’s the diamond?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>With a shriek of exultation.</i>) The diamond!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Yes, let me tell you then. Your lives are in danger. You’ve got the
-Grand Cham’s diamond.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ow did it get ’ere?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-The thief was pursued. He threw it in.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Querulously.</i>) Why did ’e throw it in ’ere?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Don’t be a fool.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-An’ ’oo are you?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I am&mdash;the Grand Cham’s representative.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Prove it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-38">[Pg 38]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Enough of this.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>He draws a revolver. Miss Perkins shrieks. Mr Perkins recoils and
-edges away. Mrs Perkins stands firm.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Ma! Ma!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Rapping the butt of the revolver on the table.</i>) Where is it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ll tell yer.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-At once.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ve swallered it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Greatly discomposed.</i>) What!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It went down as easy as a oyster.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Swallowed it! You’re joking!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No. I got the idea out of the evenin’ paper. Where is it, Pa? ’Ere.
-“Child swallows Shillin’. Curious Case.”
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>To the others</i>.) Is this true?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, I don’t know.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Y’ see, I was asleep.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Asleep!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Wasn’t I, Mother?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’E’d sleep through anythin’.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-D’ you mean to say&mdash;&mdash;? Where is it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ve just told yer.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-On your oath&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oath! D’ y’ doubt the word of a lady?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Then&mdash;d’ you feel it&mdash;I mean&mdash;whereabouts is it now?
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-40">[Pg 40]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I don’t think that’s a question a gentleman ’d ask.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Kites of hell! You’ll have to be cut open.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Nay, I won’t.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>To himself.</i>) Cremation? Would it melt the diamond?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I won’t be cremated. There! Y’ ’ve to get the deceased’s consent. I’m
-goin’ to be buried when my time comes.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Pacing about in agitation while Mrs Perkins controls the others by
-nods and winks.</i>) What’s to be done? An emetic?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You’d better go ’ome an’ say it’s lost.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Unhappy woman! Do you understand that your life is a trifle, a pawn in
-the game?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Pawn! Yes, an’ y’ can’t get it out without the ticket.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s impossible. It can’t be. (<i>He turns on the others.</i>) The
-truth! Did she swallow it? If she did, she dies.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, no, no. She didn’t.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You silly!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, Ma!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Ma, Ma, what can we do?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Y can ’old y’r tongues. Y’re no ’elp at all.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What folly this is! What can you do with it? That diamond means death to
-you. Death! Destruction! You haven’t a chance of keeping it. You’re mad.
-Your lives now are not worth a minute’s purchase.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Give it up, Ma. I’ll tell you where it is. It’s&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>In a terrible voice.</i>) Stop!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What can you do, Ma? Chuck it! Chuck it!
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’E don’t bluff me. ’E’s in a great ’urry. I believe ’e’s the thief.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Thousand devils! We’re wasting time. (<i>He looks at the clock and then
-plucks out his watch.</i>) Your clock’s slow. It’s stopped. It was that
-time when I came in.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Tell him. Tell him.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, chuck it!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Perceiving that he is getting “warm.”</i>) What stopped the
-clock?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Hysterically.</i>) Give it ’im.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Polly, I’m ashamed of yer.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>A face appears at the window, but they do not see it.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Is it there?
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>He makes for the clock, and Mrs Perkins throws herself in front.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No, it’s not; and y’ shan’t meddle with my furniture.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Pointing the revolver at her</i>.) Move aside!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Move aside yerself.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-STRANGER
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>He hesitates, then turns the revolver on Miss Perkins.</i>) Is it
-there? Quick!
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>Miss Perkins shrieks, a hand with a revolver in it is thrust through
-the empty pane, the revolver is fired, the Stranger drops his, stamps,
-curses, and wrings his hands. A man opens the window-sash and springs
-into the room.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Albert!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What! It’s Albert.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>The Stranger rushes to the switch and turns off the light. Darkness,
-shouting, and confusion. The light is turned on. The furniture is
-disarranged, the Stranger and the clock have gone, the others are
-distributed about the room, Mrs Perkins sitting in the chair she first
-occupied.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-44">[Pg 44]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Who’s got it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-He’s gone.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh! Albert!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Where’s the diamond?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It was in the clock.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-The clock? Where is it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh! Albert!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’E’s taken it. ’E’s got the clock.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Nay, ’e ’asn’t.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She produces the clock from under her petticoats.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I’m blowed!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, Ma!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What is it? Have you got it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’ve got it right enough.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She carries the clock to the chimneypiece, opens it, and takes out
-the diamond.</i>
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Will that gentleman come back?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-No, he won’t.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-How d’ y’ know?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I know.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Polly, just put that blind back, will yer? I don’t like bein’ too
-public.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh! I daren’t.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Now, ma’am, give it to me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Eh?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Let’s have it. Quick.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Where d’ you come in, Albert?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Come on. This’ll be the making o’ me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-46">[Pg 46]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-O’ me too, I ’ope. But ’adn’t we all better be movin’?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Where to, Ma?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Out at the back door. Pack a few things in a bag.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What are y’ up to? Whad’ y’r mean?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Now, Albert, there’s no time to make explanations. We’re all in at this,
-aren’t we?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well&mdash;in a way. But look here&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-South America’s the place, isn’t it? D’ y’ know anythin’ o’ the
-sailin’s! Or ’ad we better cross to France? Better take the midnight
-train somewhere.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Has she gone dotty?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Y’re all asleep. Come on, Polly. A few things in a bag. Now, Pa. Better
-put this light<span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-47">[Pg 47]</a></span> out p’raps. Is the front door shut? Look at the
-time-table, Pa.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She is making for the door when Albert intercepts her.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Give me the diamond. I dunno what y’re talkin’ about.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Nay, I stick to this.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You can’t! What nonsense! Give it here! This job’s the making o’ me.
-Let’s have it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Nay, it’s mine an’ I’ll stick to it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Yours!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Yes. Dimonds like this belongs to them as can get ’em. Nobody’s honest
-with things like this. I got it an’ y’ shall all share. But it’s mine.
-It’s mine. Eh! It’s a beauty. I’d stick to this if all the p’lice in
-London was after me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Y’d do what?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Ay, an’ Scotland Yard too.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-48">[Pg 48]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Bah! <i>I</i><span class="lftspc">’</span>m Scotland Yard.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh! Albert!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Didn’t y’ know? Didn’t y’ guess? Didn’t y’ understand? What did y’ take
-me for?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-D’y mean to say&mdash;&mdash;?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I mean t’ say it’s ’igh time I was on my way back with this dimond. The
-gang’s all rounded up by this time.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-The gang?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-That feller was one of ’em, then? Where is he?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-He was copped when he left ’ere. Y’ didn’t know y’r ’ouse was
-surrounded.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-But ’ow did the dimond come ’ere? ’Oo threw it in?
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-49">[Pg 49]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I did.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You did!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I did that.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Why?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Becos they were after me. I was a dead man if I stuck to it then. I
-threw it in ’ere to gain time and knowin’ the ’ouse.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I never!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-They’re a desp’rate lot.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-It’s all most unusual. Never since I’ve been an ’ouse’older ’ave I&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Oh, Albert! You might ’ave told me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I ’ad my reasons.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-50">[Pg 50]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Y’re a detective, then?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I am that. So let’s ’ave it. I tell yer I must be off.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Holding up the diamond, but away from him.</i>) Look at it, Albert!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I see it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Can y’ be honest? Look at it!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-She’s off ’er chump.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-She doesn’t reelly mean it. I’ve borne a ’igh character all my life.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Passionately.</i>) It’s <i>my</i> dimond.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I’m ashamed of my ma.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-My employers ’as always put the utmost confidence in me.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-51">[Pg 51]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-What’s she up to? Now ma’am, you’ll just ’and that over or&mdash;&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Or?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>He produces a whistle.</i>) I wouldn’t ’andle yer myself.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-That’s it, is it?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-That’s it.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Then let it go the way it came.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>She throws it through the window.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Old on. There’s another pane gone!
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-ALBERT
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-O ’ell!
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>He rushes out.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-You’ll ruin us, Ma.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Dusting one hand against the other.</i>) A good shuttance.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-52">[Pg 52]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>At the window.</i>) Oh! I hope he’ll find it. There he is, and a
-policeman’s with him. They’ve got it, I think. Yes. Albert, Albert! I
-wish he’d look up. They’re seeing if it’s damaged. There! He’s waved his
-hand.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>She has settled into her chair</i>.) Well, we’ve ’ad quite a busy
-evenin’.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I don’t know what Albert’ll think of you.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’E’s not going to marry me, thank ’eaven.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-D’ y’ want t’ know what <i>I</i> think of yer?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Go on! Y’ve no ’magernation.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-I never thought to be ashamed of my own mother.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Wantin’ in the very el’ments of morality. I wonder ’ow Sossiety ’d get
-on if they was all like you.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang"><span class="pagenum"><a class="newpage" id="page-53">[Pg 53]</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Polly, put up that blind. It’s a bit chilly with them broken panes.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MISS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Most unladylike as well.
-</p>
-
-<p class="direction">
-[<i>They settle down into their chairs again. Mrs Perkins takes up her
-darning and Mr Perkins the paper. After putting up the blind Miss
-Perkins returns to her puzzle.</i>
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-’Ow much did y’ say it was worth, Pa?
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MR PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-(<i>Gruffly.</i>) Never mind.
-</p>
-
-<p class="char_title">
-MRS PERKINS
-</p>
-<p class="hang">
-Well, I ’ad my bit o’ fun for onct.
-</p>
-
-<p class="curtain">
-CURTAIN
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter tnote">
-<h3 class="tnote" id="tnote">Transcriber’s Note</h3>
-
-<p class="tnote">
-This transcription is based on the 1924 edition published by Gowans
-&amp; Gray in London and Glasgow. Scanned images of a copy made available by
-the Bodleian Library are posted by Google:
-</p>
-<p class="link"><a
-href="https://books.google.com/books?id=B2MVAAAAQAAJ">
-books.google.com/books?id=B2MVAAAAQAAJ</a>
-</p>
-<p class="tnote">
-The following changes were made to the printed text:
-</p>
-<ul>
-<li>
-The formatting of stage directions following lines—that is, those
-that begin with an opening square bracket—has been standardized.
-</li>
-<li>
-Pg 34: <i>As he enters she gives way and changes her tactics</i>—Added
-a period to the end of the sentence.
-</li>
-<li>
-Pg 37: Prove it—Added a period to the end of the line.
-</li>
-</ul>
-</div>
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