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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Fables for the Frivolous + +Author: Guy Whitmore Carryl + +Posting Date: January 27, 2009 [EBook #6438] +Release Date: September, 2004 +First posted: December 14, 2002 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FABLES FOR THE FRIVOLOUS *** + + + + +Produced by Steve Schulze, Charles Franks and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. The scans for this book are +from the Michigan State University Online Digital Collection +http://digital.lib.msu.edu/onlinecolls/collection.cfm?CID=3 + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<div style="text-align: center;"> <big><big><big>FABLES FOR THE +FRIVOLOUS</big></big></big><br> +<br> +<span style="font-style: italic;">(With Apologies to La Fontaine)</span><br> +<br> + By GUY WETMORE CARRYL<br> +<br> +With Illustrations by Peter Newell<br> +<br> +<br> +1898<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> + FABLES FOR THE FRIVOLOUS<br> +<br> +<br> +TO<br> +MY FATHER<br> +<br> +</div> +<center> +<table border="0" width="400" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td> + <div style="text-align: left;">NOTE:<br> +I have pleasure in acknowledging the courteous permission<br> +the editors to reprint in this form such of the following fables<br> +were originally published in Harper's periodicals, in <span + style="font-style: italic;">Life</span>,<br> +and <span style="font-style: italic;">Munsey's Magazine</span>. <br> + +G. W. C.<br> + </div> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +</center> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<div style="text-align: left;"> +<div style="text-align: center;"> <big><big><span + style="font-weight: bold;">CONTENTS</span></big></big><br> +<br> +<a href="#1"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE AMBITIOUS FOX AND THE +UNAPPROACHABLE GRAPES</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#2"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE PERSEVERING TORTOISE +AND THE PRETENTIOUS HARE</span><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +</a> <br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#3"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE PATRICIAN PEACOCKS +AND THE OVERWEENING JAY</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#4"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE ARROGANT FROG AND THE +SUPERIOR BULL</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#5"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE DOMINEERING EAGLE AND +THE INVENTIVE BRATLING</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#6"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE ICONOCLASTIC RUSTIC +AND THE APROPOS ACORN</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#7"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE UNUSUAL GOOSE AND THE +IMBECILIC WOODCUTTER</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#8"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE RUDE RAT AND THE +UNOSTENTATIOUS OYSTER</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#9"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE URBAN RAT AND THE +SUBURBAN RAT</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#10"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE IMPECUNIOUS CRICKET +AND THE FRUGAL ANT</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#11"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE PAMPERED LAPDOG AND +THE MISGUIDED ASS</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#12"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE VAINGLORIOUS OAK AND +THE MODEST BULRUSH</span><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +</a> <br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#13"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE INHUMAN WOLF AND THE +LAMB SANS GENE</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#14"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE SYCOPHANTIC FOX AND +THE GULLIBLE RAVEN</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="#15"> THE MICROSCOPIC TROUT +AND THE MACHIAVELIAN FISHERMAN</a></span><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#16"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE CONFIDING PEASANT +AND THE MALADROIT BEAR</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#17"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE PRECIPITATE COCK AND +THE UNAPPRECIATED PEARL</span></a><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#18"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE ABBREVIATED FOX AND +HIS SCEPTICAL COMRADES</span><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +</a> <br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#19"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE HOSPITABLE +CALEDONIAN AND THE THANKLESS VIPER</span></a><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> +<br style="font-weight: bold;"> +<a href="#20"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE IMPETUOUS BREEZE AND +THE DIPLOMATIC SUN</span><br style="font-weight: bold;"> +</a> </div> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<div style="text-align: center;"><big style="font-weight: bold;"> +ILLUSTRATIONS</big><br> +<br> +<a href="#fox">"THE FOX RETREATED OUT OF RANGE"</a><br> +<br> +<a href="#frog">"HE STROVE TO GROW ROTUNDER"</a><br> +<br> +<a href="#acorn">"AN ACORN FELL ABRUPTLY"</a><br> +<br> +<a href="#ass">"SAID SHE, 'GET UP, YOU BRUTE YOU!'"</a><br> +<br> +<a href="#crow">"'<span style="font-style: italic;">J'ADMIRE</span>,' SAID HE, '<span + style="font-style: italic;">TON BEAU PLUMAGE</span>'"</a><br> +<br> +<a href="#bear">"AND SO A WEIGHTY ROCK SHE AIMED"</a><br> +</div> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<div style="text-align: center;"> <br> +</div> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="1"> THE AMBITIOUS FOX</a></span><a + name="1"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE UNAPPROACHABLE GRAPES</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + A farmer built around his crop<br> + A wall, and crowned his labors<br> + By placing glass upon the top<br> + To lacerate his neighbors,<br> + Provided they at any time<br> + Should feel disposed the wall to climb.<br> + <br> + He also drove some iron pegs<br> + Securely in the coping,<br> + To tear the bare, defenceless legs<br> + Of brats who, upward groping,<br> + Might steal, despite the risk of fall,<br> + The grapes that grew upon the wall.<br> + <br> + One day a fox, on thieving bent,<br> + A crafty and an old one,<br> + Most shrewdly tracked the pungent scent<br> + That eloquently told one<br> + That grapes were ripe and grapes were good<br> + And likewise in the neighborhood.<br> + <br> + He threw some stones of divers shapes<br> + The luscious fruit to jar off:<br> + It made him ill to see the grapes<br> + So near and yet so far off.<br> + His throws were strong, his aim was +fine,<br> + But "Never touched me!" said the vine.<br> + <br> + The farmer shouted, "Drat the boys!"<br> + And, mounting on a ladder,<br> + He sought the cause of all the noise;<br> + No farmer could be madder,<br> + Which was not hard to understand<br> + Because the glass had cut his hand.<br> + <br> + His passion he could not restrain,<br> + But shouted out, "You're thievish!"<br> + The fox replied, with fine disdain,<br> + "Come, country, don't be peevish."<br> + (Now "country" is an epithet<br> + One can't forgive, nor yet forget.)<br> + <br> + The farmer rudely answered back<br> + With compliments unvarnished,<br> + And downward hurled the <span style="font-style: italic;">bric-à-brac</span><br> + With which the wall was garnished,<br> + In view of which demeanor strange,<br> + The fox retreated out of range.<br> + <br> + "I will not try the grapes to-day,"<br> + He said. "My appetite is<br> + Fastidious, and, anyway,<br> + I fear appendicitis."<br> + (The fox was one of the <span + style="font-style: italic;">élite</span><br> + Who call it <span style="font-style: italic;">site</span> +instead of <span style="font-style: italic;">seet</span>.)<br> + <br> + The moral is that if your host<br> + Throws glass around his entry<br> + You know it isn't done by most<br> + Who claim to be the gentry,<br> + While if he hits you in the head<br> + You may be sure he's underbred.<br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> + +<a name="fox"></a> +<div style="text-align: center;"> <img src="images/Grapes.png" title="" + alt="" style="width: 323px; height: 480px;"><br> +<br> +<br> +</div> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"><span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="2"> THE PERSEVERING TORTOISE</a></span><a + name="2"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE PRETENTIOUS HARE</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: left;"> <br> + Once a turtle, finding plenty<br> + In seclusion to bewitch,<br> + Lived a <span style="font-style: italic;">dolce far niente</span><br> + Kind of life within a ditch;<br> + Rivers had no charm for him,<br> + As he told his wife and daughter,<br> + "Though my friends are in the swim,<br> + Mud is thicker far than water."<br> + <br> + One fine day, as was his habit,<br> + He was dozing in the sun,<br> + When a young and flippant rabbit<br> + Happened by the ditch to run:<br> + "Come and race me," he exclaimed,<br> + "Fat inhabitant of puddles.<br> + Sluggard! You should be ashamed.<br> + Such a life the brain befuddles."<br> + <br> + This, of course, was banter merely,<br> + But it stirred the torpid blood<br> + Of the turtle, and severely<br> + Forth he issued from the mud.<br> + "Done!" he cried. The race began,<br> + But the hare resumed his banter,<br> + Seeing how his rival ran<br> + In a most unlovely canter.<br> + <br> + Shouting, "Terrapin, you're bested!<br> + You'd be wiser, dear old chap,<br> + If you sat you down and rested<br> + When you reach the second lap."<br> + Quoth the turtle, "I refuse.<br> + As for you, with all your talking,<br> + Sit on any lap you choose.<br> + <span style="font-style: italic;">I</span> shall +simply go on walking."<br> + <br> + Now this sporting proposition<br> + Was, upon its face, absurd;<br> + Yet the hare, with expedition,<br> + Took the tortoise at his word,<br> + Ran until the final lap,<br> + Then, supposing he'd outclassed him,<br> + Laid him down and took a nap<br> + And the patient turtle passed him!<br> + <br> + Plodding on, he shortly made the<br> + Line that marked the victor's goal;<br> + Paused, and found he'd won, and laid the<br> + Flattering unction to his soul.<br> + Then in fashion grandiose,<br> + Like an after-dinner speaker,<br> + Touched his flipper to his nose,<br> + And remarked, "Ahem! Eureka!"<br> + <br> + And THE MORAL (lest you miss one)<br> + Is: There's often time to spare,<br> + And that races are (like this one)<br> + Won not always by a hair.<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="3"> THE PATRICIAN PEACOCKS</a></span><a + name="3"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE OVERWEENING JAY</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + Once a flock of stately peacocks<br> + Promenaded on a green,<br> + There were twenty-two or three cocks,<br> + Each as proud as seventeen,<br> + And a glance, however hasty,<br> + Showed their plumage to be tasty;<br> + Wheresoever one was placed, he<br> + Was a credit to the scene.<br> + <br> + Now their owner had a daughter<br> + Who, when people came to call,<br> + Used to say, "You'd reelly oughter<br> + See them peacocks on the mall."<br> + Now this wasn't to her credit,<br> + And her callers came to dread it,<br> + For the way the lady said it<br> + Wasn't <span style="font-style: italic;"></span><span + style="font-style: italic;">recherché</span> at all.<br> + <br> + But a jay that overheard it<br> + From his perch upon a fir<br> + Didn't take in how absurd it<br> + Was to every one but her;<br> + When they answered, "You don't tell us!"<br> + And to see the birds seemed zealous<br> + He became extremely jealous,<br> + Wishing, too, to make a stir.<br> + <br> + As the peacocks fed together<br> + He would join them at their lunch,<br> + Culling here and there a feather<br> + Till he'd gathered quite a bunch;<br> + Then this bird, of ways perfidious,<br> + Stuck them on him most fastidious<br> + Till he looked uncommon hideous,<br> + Like a Judy or a Punch.<br> + <br> + But the peacocks, when they saw him,<br> + One and all began to haul,<br> + And to harry and to claw him<br> + Till the creature couldn't crawl;<br> + While their owner's vulgar daughter,<br> + When her startled callers sought her,<br> + And to see the struggle brought her,<br> + Only said, "They're on the maul."<br> + <br> + It was really quite revolting<br> + When the tumult died away,<br> + One would think he had been moulting<br> + So dishevelled was the jay;<br> + He was more than merely slighted,<br> + He was more than disunited,<br> + He'd been simply dynamited<br> + In the fervor of the fray.<br> + <br> + And THE MORAL of the verses<br> + Is: That short men can't be tall.<br> + Nothing sillier or worse is<br> + Than a jay upon a mall.<br> + And the jay opiniative<br> + Who, because he's imitative,<br> + Thinks he's highly decorative<br> + Is the biggest jay of all.<br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="4"> THE ARROGANT FROG</a></span><a + name="4"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE SUPERIOR BULL</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + Once, on a time and in a place<br> + Conducive to malaria,<br> + There lived a member of the race<br> + Of <span style="font-style: italic;">Rana Temporaria</span>;<br> + Or, more concisely still, a frog<br> + Inhabited a certain bog.<br> + <br> + A bull of Brobdingnagian size,<br> + Too proud for condescension,<br> + One morning chanced to cast his eyes<br> + Upon the frog I mention;<br> + And, being to the manner born,<br> + Surveyed him with a lofty scorn.<br> + <br> + Perceiving this, the bactrian's frame<br> + With anger was inflated,<br> + Till, growing larger, he became<br> + Egregiously elated;<br> + For inspiration's sudden spell<br> + Had pointed out a way to swell.<br> + <br> + "Ha! ha!" he proudly cried, "a fig<br> + For this, your mammoth torso!<br> + Just watch me while I grow as big<br> + As you--or even more so!"<br> + To which magniloquential gush<br> + His bullship simply answered "Tush!"<br> + <br> + Alas! the frog's success was slight,<br> + Which really was a wonder,<br> + In view of how with main and might<br> + He strove to grow rotunder!<br> + And, standing patiently the while,<br> + The bull displayed a quiet smile.<br> + <br> +[Illustration: "HE STROVE TO GROW ROTUNDER"]<br> + <br> + But ah, the frog tried once too oft<br> + And, doing so, he busted;<br> + Whereat the bull discreetly coughed<br> + And moved away, disgusted,<br> + As well he might, considering<br> + The wretched taste that marked the thing.<br> + <br> + THE MORAL: Everybody knows<br> + How ill a wind it is that blows.<br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<a name="frog"></a> +<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="images/Frog.png" title="" alt="" + style="width: 308px; height: 480px;"><br> +</div> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="5">THE DOMINEERING EAGLE</a></span><a + name="5"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE INVENTIVE BRATLING</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + O'er a small suburban borough<br> + Once an eagle used to fly,<br> + Making observations thorough<br> + From his station in the sky,<br> + And presenting the appearance<br> + Of an animated V,<br> + Like the gulls that lend coherence<br> + Unto paintings of the sea.<br> + <br> + Looking downward at a church in<br> + This attractive little shire,<br> + He beheld a smallish urchin<br> + Shooting arrows at the spire;<br> + In a spirit of derision,<br> + "Look alive!" the eagle said;<br> + And, with infinite precision,<br> + Dropped a feather on his head.<br> + <br> + Then the boy, annoyed distinctly<br> + By the freedom of the bird,<br> + Voiced his anger quite succinctly<br> + In a single scathing word;<br> + And he sat him on a barrow,<br> + And he fashioned of this same<br> + Eagle's feather such an arrow<br> + As was worthy of the name.<br> + <br> + Then he tried his bow, and, stringing<br> + It with caution and with care,<br> + Sent that arrow singing, winging<br> + Towards the eagle in the air.<br> + Straight it went, without an error,<br> + And the target, bathed in blood,<br> + Lurched, and lunged, and fell to <span + style="font-style: italic;">terra</span><br style="font-style: italic;"> + <span style="font-style: italic;"> Firma</span>, +landing with a thud.<br> + <br> + "Bird of freedom," quoth the urchin,<br> + With an unrelenting frown,<br> + "You shall decorate a perch in<br> + The menagerie in town;<br> + But of feathers quite a cluster<br> + I shall first remove for Ma:<br> + Thanks to you, she'll have a duster<br> + For her precious <span style="font-style: italic;">objets +d'art</span>."<br> + <br> + And THE MORAL is that pride is<br> + The precursor of a fall.<br> + Those beneath you to deride is<br> + Not expedient at all.<br> + Howsoever meek and humble<br> + Your inferiors may be,<br> + They perchance may make you tumble,<br> + So respect them. Q. E. D.<br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="6">THE ICONOCLASTIC RUSTIC</a></span><a + name="6"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE APROPOS ACORN</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + Reposing 'neath some spreading trees,<br> + A populistic bumpkin<br> + Amused himself by offering these<br> + Reflections on a pumpkin:<br> + "I would not, if the choice were mine,<br> + Grow things like that upon a vine,<br> + For how imposing it would be<br> + If pumpkins grew upon a tree."<br> + <br> + Like other populists, you'll note,<br> + Of views enthusiastic,<br> + He'd learned by heart, and said by rote<br> + A creed iconoclastic;<br> + And in his dim, uncertain sight<br> + Whatever wasn't must be right,<br> + From which it follows he had strong<br> + Convictions that what was, was wrong.<br> + <br> + As thus he sat beneath an oak<br> + An acorn fell abruptly<br> + And smote his nose: whereat he spoke<br> + Of acorns most corruptly.<br> + "Great Scott!" he cried. "The Dickens!" too,<br> + And other authors whom he knew,<br> + And having duly mentioned those,<br> + He expeditiously arose.<br> + <br> + Then, though with pain he nearly swooned,<br> + He bathed his organ nasal<br> + With arnica, and soothed the wound<br> + With extract of witch hazel;<br> + And surely we may well excuse<br> + The victim if he changed his views:<br> + "If pumpkins fell from trees like that,"<br> + He murmured, "Where would I be at?"<br> + <br> + Of course it's wholly clear to you<br> + That when these words he uttered<br> + He proved conclusively he knew<br> + Which side his bread was buttered;<br> + And, if this point you have not missed,<br> + You'll learn to love this populist,<br> + The only one of all his kind<br> + With sense enough to change his mind.<br> + <br> + THE MORAL: In the early spring<br> + A pumpkin-tree would be a thing<br> + Most gratifying to us all,<br> + But how about the early fall?<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<a name="acorn"></a> +<div style="text-align: center;"> <img src="images/Acorn.png" title="" + alt="" style="width: 302px; height: 480px;"><br> +<br> +<br> +</div> + +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="7">THE UNUSUAL GOOSE</a></span><a + name="7"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE IMBECILIC WOODCUTTER</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + A woodcutter bought him a gander,<br> + Or at least that was what he supposed,<br> + As a matter of fact, 'twas a slander<br> + As a later occurrence disclosed;<br> + For they locked the bird up in the garret<br> + To fatten, the while it grew old,<br> + And it laid there a twenty-two carat<br> + Fine egg of the purest of gold!<br> + <br> + There was much unaffected rejoicing<br> + In the home of the woodcutter then,<br> + And his wife, her exuberance voicing,<br> + Proclaimed him most lucky of men.<br> + "'Tis an omen of fortune, this gold egg,"<br> + She said, "and of practical use,<br> + For this fowl doesn't lay any old egg,<br> + She's a highly superior goose."<br> + <br> + Twas this creature's habitual custom,<br> + This laying of superfine eggs,<br> + And they made it their practice to dust 'em<br> + And pack them by dozens in kegs:<br> + But the woodcutter's mind being vapid<br> + And his foolishness more than profuse,<br> + In order to get them more rapid<br> + He slaughtered the innocent goose.<br> + <br> + He made her a gruel of acid<br> + Which she very obligingly ate,<br> + And at once with a touchingly placid<br> + Demeanor succumbed to her fate.<br> + With affection that passed the platonic<br> + They buried her under the moss,<br> + And her epitaph wasn't ironic<br> + In stating, "We mourn for our loss."<br> + <br> + And THE MORAL: It isn't much use,<br> + As the woodcutter found to be true,<br> + To lay for an innocent goose<br> + Just because she is laying for you.<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="8">THE RUDE RAT</a></span><a + name="7"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE UNOSTENTATIOUS OYSTER</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + Upon the shore, a mile or more<br> + From traffic and confusion,<br> + An oyster dwelt, because he felt<br> + A longing for seclusion;<br> + Said he: "I love the stillness of<br> + This spot. It's like a cloister."<br> + (These words I quote because, you note,<br> + They rhyme so well with oyster.)<br> + <br> + A prying rat, believing that<br> + She needed change of diet,<br> + In search of such disturbed this much-<br> + To-be-desired quiet.<br> + To say the least, this tactless beast<br> + Was apt to rudely roister:<br> + She tapped his shell, and called him--well,<br> + A name that hurt the oyster.<br> + <br> + "I see," she cried, "you're open wide,<br> + And, searching for a reason,<br> + September's here, and so it's clear<br> + That oysters are in season."<br> + She smiled a smile that showed this style<br> + Of badinage rejoiced her,<br> + Advanced a pace with easy grace,<br> + And <span style="font-style: italic;">sniffed</span> +the silent oyster.<br> + <br> + The latter's pride was sorely tried,<br> + He thought of what he <span + style="font-style: italic;">could</span> say,<br> + Reflected what the common lot<br> + Of vulgar molluscs <span style="font-style: italic;">would</span> +say;<br> + Then caught his breath, grew pale as death,<br> + And, as his brow turned moister,<br> + Began to close, and nipped her nose!<br> + Superb, dramatic oyster!<br> + <br> + We note with joy that oi polloi,<br> + Whom maidens bite the thumb at,<br> + Are apt to try some weak reply<br> + To things they should be dumb at.<br> + THE MORAL, then, for crafty men<br> + Is: When a maid has voiced her<br> + Contemptuous heart, don't think you're smart,<br> + But shut up--like the oyster.<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="9">THE URBAN RAT</a></span><a + name="8"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE SUBURBAN RAT</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + A metropolitan rat invited<br> + His country cousin in town to dine:<br> + The country cousin replied, "Delighted."<br> + And signed himself, "Sincerely thine."<br> + The town rat treated the country cousin<br> + +To half a dozen<br> + +Kinds of wine.<br> + <br> + He served him terrapin, kidneys devilled,<br> + And roasted partridge, and candied fruit;<br> + In Little Neck Clams at first they revelled,<br> + And then in Pommery, <span + style="font-style: italic;">sec</span> and <span + style="font-style: italic;">brut</span>;<br> + The country cousin exclaimed: "Such feeding<br> + +Proclaims your breeding<br> + +Beyond dispute!"<br> + <br> + But just as, another bottle broaching,<br> + They came to chicken <span + style="font-style: italic;">en casserole</span><br> + A ravenous cat was heard approaching,<br> + And, passing his guest a finger-bowl,<br> + The town rat murmured, "The feast is ended."<br> + +And then descended<br> + +The nearest hole.<br> + <br> + His cousin followed him, helter-skelter,<br> + And, pausing beneath the pantry floor,<br> + He glanced around at their dusty shelter<br> + And muttered, "This is a beastly bore.<br> + My place as an epicure resigning,<br> + +I'll try this dining<br> + +In town no more.<br> + <br> + "You must dine some night at my rustic cottage;<br> + I'll warn you now that it's simple fare:<br> + A radish or two, a bowl of pottage,<br> + And the wine that's known as <span + style="font-style: italic;">ordinaire</span>,<br> + But for holes I haven't to make a bee-line,<br> + +No prowling feline<br> + +Molests me there.<br> + <br> + "You smile at the lot of a mere commuter,<br> + You think that my life is hard, mayhap,<br> + But I'm sure than you I am far acuter:<br> + I ain't afraid of no cat nor trap."<br> + The city rat could but meekly stammer,<br> + +"Don't use such grammar,<br> + +My worthy chap."<br> + <br> + He dined next night with his poor relation,<br> + And caught dyspepsia, and lost his train,<br> + He waited an hour in the lonely station,<br> + And said some things that were quite profane.<br> + "I'll never," he cried, in tones complaining,<br> + +"Try entertaining<br> + +That rat again."<br> + <br> + It's easy to make a memorandum<br> + About THE MORAL these verses teach:<br> + <span style="font-style: italic;">De gustibus non est +disputandum;</span><br> + The meaning of which Etruscan speech<br> + Is wheresoever you're hunger quelling<br> + +Pray keep your dwelling<br> + +In easy reach.<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="10">THE IMPECUNIOUS CRICKET</a></span><a + name="9"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE FRUGAL ANT</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + There was an ant, a spinster ant,<br> + Whose virtues were so many<br> + That she became intolerant<br> + Of those who hadn't any:<br> + She had a small and frugal mind<br> + And lived a life ascetic,<br> + Nor was her temperament the kind<br> + That's known as sympathetic.<br> + <br> + I skip details. Suffice to say<br> + That, knocking at her wicket,<br> + There chanced to come one autumn day<br> + A common garden cricket<br> + So ragged, poor, and needy that,<br> + Without elucidation,<br> + One saw the symptoms of a bat<br> + Of several months' duration.<br> + <br> + He paused beside her door-step, and,<br> + With one pathetic gesture,<br> + He called attention with his hand<br> + To both his shoes and vesture.<br> + "I joined," said he, "an opera troupe.<br> + They suddenly disbanded,<br> + And left me on the hostel stoop,<br> + Lugubriously stranded.<br> + <br> + "I therefore lay aside my pride<br> + And frankly ask for clothing."<br> + "Begone!" the frugal ant replied.<br> + "I look on you with loathing.<br> + Your muddy shoes have spoiled the lawn,<br> + Your hands have soiled the fence, too.<br> + If you need money, go and pawn<br> + Your watch--if you have sense to."<br> + <br> + THE MORAL is: Albeit lots<br> + Of people follow Dr. Watts,<br> + The sluggard, when his means are scant,<br> + Should seek an uncle, not an ant!<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="11">THE PAMPERED LAPDOG</a></span><a + name="10"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE MISGUIDED ASS</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + A woolly little terrier pup<br> + Gave vent to yelps distressing,<br> + Whereat his mistress took him up<br> + And soothed him with caressing,<br> + And yet he was not in the least<br> + What one would call a handsome beast.<br> + <br> + He might have been a Javanese,<br> + He might have been a Jap dog,<br> + And also neither one of these,<br> + But just a common lapdog,<br> + The kind that people send, you know,<br> + Done up in cotton, to the Show.<br> + <br> + At all events, whate'er his race,<br> + The pretty girl who owned him<br> + Caressed his unattractive face<br> + And petted and cologned him,<br> + While, watching her with mournful eye,<br> + A patient ass stood silent by.<br> + <br> + "If thus," he mused, "the feminine<br> + And fascinating gender<br> + Is led to love, I, too, can win<br> + Her protestations tender."<br> + And then the poor, misguided chap<br> + Sat down upon the lady's lap.<br> + <br> + Then, as her head with terror swam,<br> + "This method seems to suit you,"<br> + Observed the ass, "so here I am."<br> + Said she, "Get up, you brute you!"<br> + And promptly screamed aloud for aid:<br> + No ass was ever more dismayed.<br> + <br> +[Illustration: "SAID SHE, 'GET UP, YOU BRUTE YOU!'"]<br> + <br> + They took the ass into the yard<br> + And there, with whip and truncheon,<br> + They beat him, and they beat him hard,<br> + From breakfast-time till luncheon.<br> + He only gave a tearful gulp,<br> + Though almost pounded to a pulp.<br> + <br> + THE MORAL is (or seems, at least,<br> + To be): In etiquette you<br> + Will find that while enough's a feast<br> + A surplus will upset you.<br> + <span style="font-style: italic;">Toujours, toujours la +politesse</span>, if<br> + The quantity be not excessive.<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> + +<a name="ass"></a> +<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="images/Ass.png" title="" alt="" + style="width: 367px; height: 480px;"><br> +</div> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="12">THE VAINGLORIOUS OAK</a></span><a + name="11"><br> + <br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE MODEST BULRUSH</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + A bulrush stood on a river's rim,<br> + And an oak that grew near by<br> + Looked down with cold <span style="font-style: italic;">hauteur</span> +on him,<br> + And addressed him this way: "Hi!"<br> + The rush was a proud patrician, and<br> + He retorted, "Don't you know,<br> + What the veriest boor should understand,<br> + +That 'Hi' is low?"<br> + <br> + This cutting rebuke the oak ignored.<br> + He returned, "My slender friend,<br> + I will frankly state that I'm somewhat bored<br> + With the way you bow and bend."<br> + "But you quite forget," the rush replied,<br> + "It's an art these bows to do,<br> + An art I wouldn't attempt if I'd<br> + +Such boughs as you."<br> + <br> + "Of course," said the oak, "in my sapling days<br> + My habit it was to bow,<br> + But the wildest storm that the winds could raise<br> + Would never disturb me now.<br> + I challenge the breeze to make me bend,<br> + And the blast to make me sway."<br> + The shrewd little bulrush answered, "Friend,<br> + +Don't get so gay."<br> + <br> + And the words had barely left his mouth<br> + When he saw the oak turn pale,<br> + For, racing along south-east-by-south,<br> + Came ripping a raging gale.<br> + And the rush bent low as the storm went past,<br> + But stiffly stood the oak,<br> + Though not for long, for he found the blast<br> + +No idle joke.<br> + <br> + * * +* * * +* * *<br> + Imagine the lightning's gleaming bars,<br> + Imagine the thunder's roar,<br> + For that is exactly what eight stars<br> + Are set in a row here for!<br> + The oak lay prone when the storm was done,<br> + While the rush, still quite erect,<br> + Remarked aside, "What under the sun<br> + +Could one expect?"<br> + <br> + And THE MORAL, I'd have you understand,<br> + Would have made La Fontaine blush,<br> + For it's this: Some storms come early, and<br> + +Avoid the rush!<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; width: 400px;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="13">THE INHUMAN WOLF</a></span><a + name="12"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE LAMB SANS GENE</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + A gaunt and relentless wolf, possessed<br> + Of a quite insatiable thirst,<br> + Once paused at a stream to drink and rest,<br> + And found that, bound on a similar quest,<br> + A lamb had arrived there first.<br> + <br> + The lamb was a lamb of a garrulous mind<br> + And frivolity most extreme:<br> + In the fashion common to all his kind,<br> + He cantered in front and galloped behind.<br> + And troubled the limpid stream.<br> + <br> + "My friend," said the wolf, with a winsome air,<br> + "Your capers I can't admire."<br> + "Go to!" quoth the lamb. (Though he said not where,<br> + He showed what he meant by his brazen stare<br> + And the way that he gambolled higher.)<br> + <br> + "My capers," he cried, "are the kind that are<br> + Invariably served with lamb.<br> + Remember, this is a public bar,<br> + And I'll do as I please. If your drink I mar,<br> + I don't give a tinker's ----."<br> + <br> + He paused and glanced at the rivulet,<br> + And that pause than speech was worse,<br> + For his roving eye a saw-mill met,<br> + And, near it, the word which should be set<br> + At the end of the previous verse.<br> + <br> + Said the wolf: "You are tough and may bring remorse,<br> + But of such is the world well rid.<br> + I've swallowed your capers, I've swallowed your sauce,<br> + And it's plain to be seen that my only course<br> + Is swallowing you." He did.<br> + <br> + THE MORAL: The wisest lambs they are<br> + Who, when they're assailed by thirst,<br> + Keep well away from a public bar;<br> + For of all black sheep, or near, or far,<br> + The public bar-lamb's worst!<br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="14">THE SYCOPHANTIC FOX</a></span><a + name="13"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE GULLIBLE RAVEN</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + A raven sat upon a tree,<br> + And not a word he spoke, for<br> + His beak contained a piece of Brie,<br> + Or, maybe, it was Roquefort:<br> + We'll make it any kind you please--<br> + At all events, it was a cheese.<br> + <br> + Beneath the tree's umbrageous limb<br> + A hungry fox sat smiling;<br> + He saw the raven watching him,<br> + And spoke in words beguiling.<br> + "<span style="font-style: italic;">J'admire</span>," +said he, "<span style="font-style: italic;">ton beau plumage</span>."<br> + (The which was simply persiflage.)<br> + <br> + Two things there are, no doubt you know,<br> + To which a fox is used:<br> + A rooster that is bound to crow,<br> + A crow that's bound to roost,<br> + And whichsoever he espies<br> + He tells the most unblushing lies.<br> + <br> + "Sweet fowl," he said, "I understand<br> + You're more than merely natty,<br> + I hear you sing to beat the band<br> + And Adelina Patti.<br> + Pray render with your liquid tongue<br> + A bit from 'Gotterdammerung.'"<br> + <br> + This subtle speech was aimed to please<br> + The crow, and it succeeded:<br> + He thought no bird in all the trees<br> + Could sing as well as he did.<br> + In flattery completely doused,<br> + He gave the "Jewel Song" from "Faust."<br> + <br> +[Illustration: "'<span style="font-style: italic;">J'ADMIRE</span>,' +SAID HE, '<span style="font-style: italic;">TON BEAU PLUMAGE</span>'"]<br> + <br> + But gravitation's law, of course,<br> + As Isaac Newton showed it,<br> + Exerted on the cheese its force,<br> + And elsewhere soon bestowed it.<br> + In fact, there is no need to tell<br> + What happened when to earth it fell.<br> + <br> + I blush to add that when the bird<br> + Took in the situation<br> + He said one brief, emphatic word,<br> + Unfit for publication.<br> + The fox was greatly startled, but<br> + He only sighed and answered "Tut."<br> + <br> + THE MORAL is: A fox is bound<br> + To be a shameless sinner.<br> + And also: When the cheese comes round<br> + You know it's after dinner.<br> + But (what is only known to few)<br> + The fox is after dinner, too.<br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> + +<a name="crow"></a> +<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="images/Crow.png" title="" alt="" + style="width: 329px; height: 480px;"><br> +</div> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="15">THE MICROSCOPIC TROUT</a></span><a + name="14"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE MACHIAVELIAN FISHERMAN</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + <br> + A fisher was casting his flies in a brook,<br> + According to laws of such sciences,<br> + With a patented reel and a patented hook<br> + And a number of other appliances;<br> + And the thirty-fifth cast, which he vowed was the last<br> + (It was figured as close as a decimal),<br> + Brought suddenly out of the water a trout<br> + Of measurements infinitesimal.<br> + <br> + This fish had a way that would win him a place<br> + In the best and most polished society,<br> + And he looked at the fisherman full in the face<br> + With a visible air of anxiety:<br> + He murmered "Alas!" from his place in the grass,<br> + And then, when he'd twisted and wriggled, he<br> + Remarked in a pet that his heart was upset<br> + And digestion all higgledy-piggledy.<br> + <br> + "I request," he observed, "to be instantly flung<br> + Once again in the pool I've been living in."<br> + The fisherman said, "You will tire out your tongue.<br> + Do you see any signs of my giving in?<br> + Put you back in the pool? Why, you fatuous fool,<br> + I have eaten much smaller and thinner fish.<br> + You're not salmon or sole, but I think, on the whole,<br> + You're a fairly respectable dinner-fish."<br> + <br> + The fisherman's cook tried her hand on the trout<br> + And with various herbs she embellished him;<br> + He was lovely to see, and there isn't a doubt<br> + That the fisherman's family relished him,<br> + And, to prove that they did, both his wife and his kid<br> + Devoured the trout with much eagerness,<br> + Avowing no dish could compare with that fish,<br> + Notwithstanding his singular meagreness.<br> + <br> + And THE MORAL, you'll find, is although it is kind<br> + To grant favors that people are wishing for,<br> + Still a dinner you'll lack if you chance to throw back<br> + In the pool little trout that you're fishing for;<br> + If their pleading you spurn you will certainly learn<br> + That herbs will deliciously vary 'em:<br> + It is needless to state that a trout on a plate<br> + Beats several in the aquarium. </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="16">THE CONFIDING PEASANT</a></span><a + name="15"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE MALADROIT BEAR</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + A peasant had a docile bear,<br> + A bear of manners pleasant,<br> + And all the love she had to spare<br> + She lavished on the peasant:<br> + She proved her deep affection plainly<br> + (The method was a bit ungainly).<br> + <br> + The peasant had to dig and delve,<br> + And, as his class are apt to,<br> + When all the whistles blew at twelve<br> + He ate his lunch, and napped, too,<br> + The bear a careful outlook keeping<br> + The while her master lay a-sleeping.<br> + <br> + As thus the peasant slept one day,<br> + The weather being torrid,<br> + A gnat beheld him where he lay<br> + And lit upon his forehead,<br> + And thence, like all such winged +creatures,<br> + Proceeded over all his features.<br> + <br> + The watchful bear, perceiving that<br> + The gnat lit on her master,<br> + Resolved to light upon the gnat<br> + And plunge him in disaster;<br> + She saw no sense in being lenient<br> + When stones lay round her, most +convenient.<br> + <br> + And so a weighty rock she aimed<br> + With much enthusiasm:<br> + "Oh, lor'!" the startled gnat exclaimed,<br> + And promptly had a spasm:<br> + A natural proceeding this was,<br> + Considering how close the miss was.<br> + <br> +[Illustration: AND SO A WEIGHTY ROCK SHE AIMED]<br> + <br> + Now by his dumb companion's pluck,<br> + Which caused the gnat to squall so,<br> + The sleeping man was greatly struck<br> + (And by the bowlder, also).<br> + In fact, his friends who idolized him<br> + Remarked they hardly recognized him.<br> + <br> + Of course the bear was greatly grieved,<br> + But, being just a dumb thing,<br> + She only thought: "I was deceived,<br> + But still, I did hit <span + style="font-style: italic;">something!</span>"<br> + Which showed this masculine achievement<br> + Had somewhat soothed her deep +bereavement.<br> + <br> + THE MORAL: If you prize your bones<br> + Beware of females throwing stones.<br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> + +<a name="bear"></a> +<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="images/Bear.png" title="" alt="" + style="width: 336px; height: 480px;"><br> +</div> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="17">THE PRECIPITATE COCK</a></span><a + name="16"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE UNAPPRECIATED PEARL</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + <br> + A rooster once pursued a worm<br> + That lingered not to brave him,<br> + To see his wretched victim squirm<br> + A pleasant thrill it gave him;<br> + He summoned all his kith and kin,<br> + They hastened up by legions,<br> + With quaint, expressive gurgles in<br> + Their oesophageal regions.<br> + <br> + Just then a kind of glimmering<br> + Attracting his attention,<br> + The worm became too small a thing<br> + For more than passing mention:<br> + The throng of hungry hens and rude<br> + He skilfully evaded.<br> + Said he, "I' faith, if this be food,<br> + I saw the prize ere they did."<br> + <br> + It was a large and costly pearl,<br> + Belonging in a necklace,<br> + And dropped by some neglectful girl:<br> + Some people are so reckless!<br> + The cock assumed an air forlorn,<br> + And cried, "It's really cruel.<br> + I thought it was a grain of corn:<br> + It's nothing but a jewel."<br> + <br> + He turned again to where his clan<br> + In one astounding tangle<br> + With eager haste together ran<br> + To slay the helpless angle,<br> + And sighed, "He was of massive size.<br> + I should have used discretion.<br> + Too late! Around the toothsome prize<br> + A bargain-sale's in session."<br> + <br> + The worm's remarks upon his plight<br> + Have never been recorded,<br> + But any one may know how slight<br> + Diversion it afforded;<br> + For worms and human beings are<br> + Unanimous that, when pecked,<br> + To be the prey of men they far<br> + Prefer to being hen-pecked.<br> + <br> + THE MORAL: When your dinner comes<br> + Don't leave it for your neighbors,<br> + Because you hear the sound of drums<br> + And see the gleam of sabres;<br> + Or, like the cock, you'll find too late<br> + That ornaments external<br> + Do not for certain indicate<br> + A bona fide kernel.<br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="18">THE ABBREVIATED FOX</a></span><a + name="17"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> HIS SCEPTICAL COMRADES</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + A certain fox had a Grecian nose<br> + And a beautiful tail. His friends<br> + Were wont to say in a jesting way<br> + A divinity shaped his ends.<br> + The fact is sad, but his foxship had<br> + A fault we should all eschew:<br> + He was so deceived that he quite believed<br> + What he heard from friends was true.<br> + <br> + One day he found in a sheltered spot<br> + A trap with stalwart springs<br> + That was cunningly planned to supply the demand<br> + For some of those tippet things.<br> + The fox drew nigh, and resolved to try<br> + The way that the trap was set:<br> + (When the trap was through with this interview<br> + There was one less tippet to get!)<br> + <br> + The fox returned to his doting friends<br> + And said, with an awkward smile,<br> + "My tail I know was <span style="font-style: italic;">comme il +faut</span>,<br> + And served me well for a while."<br> + When his comrades laughed at his shortage aft<br> + He added, with scornful bow,<br> + "Pray check your mirth, for I hear from Worth<br> + They're wearing them shorter now."<br> + <br> + But one of his friends, a bookish chap,<br> + Replied, with a thoughtful frown,<br> + "You know to-day the publishers say<br> + That the short tale won't go down;<br> + And, upon my soul, I think on the whole,<br> + That the publishers' words are true.<br> + I should hate, good sir, to part my fur<br> + In the middle, as done by you."<br> + <br> + And another added these truthful words<br> + In the midst of the eager hush,<br> + "We can part our hair 'most anywhere<br> + So long as we keep the brush."<br> + <br> + THE MORAL is this: It is never amiss<br> + To treasure the things you've penned:<br> + Preserve your tales, for, when all else fails,<br> + They'll be useful things--in the end.<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="19">THE HOSPITABLE CALEDONIAN</a></span><a + name="18"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE THANKLESS VIPER</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + <br> + A Caledonian piper<br> + Who was walking on the wold<br> + Nearly stepped upon a viper<br> + Rendered torpid by the cold;<br> + By the sight of her admonished,<br> + He forbore to plant his boot,<br> + But he showed he was astonished<br> + By the way he muttered "Hoot!"<br> + <br> + Now this simple-minded piper<br> + Such a kindly nature had<br> + That he lifted up the viper<br> + And bestowed her in his plaid.<br> + "Though the Scot is stern, at least he<br> + No unhappy creature spurns,<br> + 'Sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,'"<br> + Quoth the piper (quoting Burns).<br> + <br> + This was unaffected kindness,<br> + But there was, to state the fact,<br> + Just a slight <span style="font-style: italic;">soupçon</span> +of blindness<br> + In his charitable act.<br> + If you'd watched the piper, shortly<br> + You'd have seen him leap aloft,<br> + As this snake, of ways uncourtly,<br> + Bit him suddenly and oft.<br> + <br> + There was really no excuse for<br> + This, the viper's cruel work,<br> + And the piper found a use for<br> + Words he'd never learned at kirk;<br> + But the biting was so thorough<br> + That although the doctors tried,<br> + Not the best in Edinburgh<br> + Could assist him, and he died.<br> + <br> + And THE MORAL is: The piper<br> + Of the matter made a botch;<br> + One can hardly blame the viper<br> + If she took a nip of Scotch,<br> + For she only did what he did,<br> + And <span style="font-style: italic;">his</span> +nippie wasn't small,<br> + Otherwise, you see, he needed<br> + Not have seen the snake at all.<br> + <br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<table cellpadding="2" cellspacing="2" border="0" + style="text-align: left; width: 350px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"> + <tbody> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top; text-align: center;"> <span + style="font-weight: bold;"><a name="20">THE IMPETUOUS BREEZE</a></span><a + name="19"><br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> AND</span><br + style="font-weight: bold;"> + <br style="font-weight: bold;"> + <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE DIPLOMATIC SUN</span></a><br> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td style="vertical-align: top;"><br> + <br> + A Boston man an ulster had,<br> + An ulster with a cape that fluttered:<br> + It smacked his face, and made him mad,<br> + And polyglot remarks he uttered:<br> + "I bought it at a bargain," said he,<br> + "I'm tired of the thing already."<br> + <br> + The wind that chanced to blow that day<br> + Was easterly, and rather strong, too:<br> + It loved to see the galling way<br> + That clothes vex those whom they belong to:<br> + "Now watch me," cried this spell of +weather,<br> + "I'll rid him of it altogether."<br> + <br> + It whirled the man across the street,<br> + It banged him up against a railing,<br> + It twined the ulster round his feet,<br> + But all of this was unavailing:<br> + For not without resource it found him:<br> + He drew the ulster closer round him.<br> + <br> + "My word!" the man was heard to say,<br> + "Although I like not such abuse, it's<br> + Not strange the wind is strong to-day,<br> + It always is in Massachusetts.<br> + Such weather threatens much the health of<br> + Inhabitants this Commonwealth of."<br> + <br> + The sun, emerging from a rift<br> + Between the clouds, observed the victim,<br> + And how the wind beset and biffed,<br> + Belabored, buffeted, and kicked him.<br> + Said he, "This wind is doubtless new +here:<br> + 'Tis quite the freshest ever blew here."<br> + <br> + And then he put forth all his strength,<br> + His warmth with might and main exerted,<br> + Till upward in its tube at length<br> + The mercury most nimbly spurted.<br> + Phenomenal the curious sight was,<br> + So swift the rise in Fahrenheit was.<br> + <br> + The man supposed himself at first<br> + The prey of some new mode of smelting:<br> + His pulses were about to burst,<br> + His every limb seemed slowly melting,<br> + And, as the heat began to numb him,<br> + He cast the ulster wildly from him.<br> + <br> + "Impulsive breeze, the use of force,"<br> + Observed the sun, "a foolish act is,<br> + Perceiving which, you see, of course.<br> + How highly efficacious tact is."<br> + The wondering wind replied, "Good +gracious!<br> + You're right about the efficacious."<br> + <br> + THE MORAL deals, as morals do,<br> + With tact, and all its virtues boasted,<br> + But still I can't forget, can you,<br> + That wretched man, first chilled, then roasted?<br> + Bronchitis seized him shortly after,<br> + And that's no cause for vulgar laughter.<br> + </td> + </tr> + </tbody> +</table> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE +END</span><br> +</div> +</div> +<br> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Fables for the Frivolous, by Guy Whitmore Carryl + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FABLES FOR THE FRIVOLOUS *** + +***** This file should be named 6438-h.htm or 6438-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/6/4/3/6438/ + +Produced by Steve Schulze, Charles Franks and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. 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