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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..88ec83b --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #63989 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/63989) diff --git a/old/63989-0.txt b/old/63989-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index c980495..0000000 --- a/old/63989-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,695 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Halftripper, by Mack Reynolds - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this ebook. - -Title: Halftripper - -Author: Mack Reynolds - -Release Date: December 08, 2020 [EBook #63989] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HALFTRIPPER *** - - - - - Halftripper - - By MACK REYNOLDS - - _Mars was strewn with the human wrecks of - halftrippers--terrorized cowards of space travel. - But perhaps the saddest, and the most fearful of - all was the immortal spacebum called Micheal._ - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Planet Stories November 1951. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -This section of New Sante Fe was off my beaten track. I've been on Mars -a long time and am more than usually familiar with the various centers -where we Terrans do our congregating. However, it'd been years since -I'd come through here. - -I was sitting in an obscure tavern, called, with commendable restraint, -simply Sam's Bar, lapping up Martian brandy and facing the prospect of -returning to the spaceport in a few hours with no particular enthusiasm. - -I only half-noticed the old man who got up on the stool next to me. Sam -came over and asked him what he'd have. - -The oldster carefully counted out some coins on the bar and said, -"Wine, Sam; a glass of Martian wine." - -"You know I don't want your money, Joseph," Sam told him. - -The old man answered reproachfully, "The wine would taste that much the -less, my friend, if I had not earned it by the sweat of my...." - -"Okay," Sam sighed. He poured the wine and rang up the money and went -off to wait on someone else. - -A halftripper sidled up to me. "How about a drink, spaceman?" he -whined. "I'm a graduate of the academy myself, class of '72." He must -have noted my United Space Lines uniform. - -"Sorry," I said gruffly, keeping my back to him. Any spaceman can tell -you that if you talk to a halftripper for long you'll soon be showing -symptoms of space cafard yourself. The underlying terror in him; the -mind shattering fear of space; the way he stares at you, thinking that -you can go home, while he is afraid to risk the trip. There are few of -them that can hide their disease. - -"I need a shot bad," he whispered urgently. He probably did, too. Few -halftrippers are able to secure jobs on the planets of their exile. -Most of them become beachcombers of space. Of course, there are some -exceptions, especially if they have money and connections. - -I shuddered. "Beat it," I grated, hating myself and him. - -The fear of space cafard must be somewhat similar to that of -seasickness every new sailor had back in ancient days when man sailed -the oceans of Terra. He never knew until he made his first voyage if he -was going to be susceptible; and, if he turned out to be, it meant the -sea wasn't for him. - - * * * * * - -Of course, space cafard goes tragically further. A new man usually -succumbs his first few hours in space, if he is going to get it at -all. He probably makes it to the next planet, sometimes not; sometimes -he goes incurably mad, right off the bat. But even if he does make -it, wild horses could never get him on another rocketship. He becomes -a halftripper, marooned on an alien world. Usually, although I have -known of several exceptions, if you don't get it on your first trip, it -seldom bothers you; you're immune for the rest of your life. - -He repeated, "How about it, spaceman?" - -Sam began to approach threateningly. He couldn't afford to have -halftrippers hang out in his place. For one thing, the shipping lines -would soon declare him out of bounds for their crews. You just can't -let good men come in contact with obvious victims of space cafard. - -The old-timer Sam had called Joseph was distressed. "You know not what -you say," he told me gently. - -I managed a sneer. "Am I supposed to buy a drink for every spacebum -that comes along?" - -The halftripper's eyes lit up and he came closer to the old man. "How -about it, pop? Could you loan me the price of a nip of woji?" - -Joseph's face was compassionate. "I am sorry, brother, I myself have -nothing, but I commend you to the generosity of the tavern keeper." - -I snorted at that. I could imagine how much generosity the space leper -would get from the bartender. - -That's where the surprise came. Sam sighed. "Okay, halftripper, what'll -it be?" - -The spacebum ordered a double woji, got it down quickly, as though he -was afraid Sam might change his mind, and then beat it to find a place -to have his dreams when the full force of the also-narcotic drink hit -him. - -I finished my brandy, ordered another, and grinned wryly at the -old-timer. "You give me kert for telling him to beat it, but you give -Sam the high sign to let him have woji with which to rot out his -brains. I'd think I was being the kinder of the two of us." - -"Each man's salvation is within himself," Joseph said softly. "You -won't redeem him by attempting to keep him from his weaknesses." - -"You talk like a saint but I notice you're sitting here at a bar." - -He looked at me penetratingly, and there was vast emptiness behind -his eyes. "There is little to enjoy in life," he said softly, "but -I have had ample time to investigate all of the supposed pleasures. -At one time I drank greatly and kept myself in a state of continual -intoxication for a period longer than you could believe. Then I went -through a state when I let nothing pass my lips but water. Now I see -the mistake of both extremes and can enjoy an occasional glass without -feeling the need of swilling it down until intoxication dulls me." - -He had me interested now. I said, "You sound as though you've found the -way in which to get the greatest satisfaction from everything in life -but I notice that you don't appear particularly happy." - -He was silent for a long time. Finally he sighed and answered, -"Happiness is not to be found in wine, nor in food, nor in beautiful -women, nor even in wealth and power. It is from within, what you have -done, what you are in the eyes of your fellow man." - -He looked as though he was about to say more, but he fell silent, his -eyes on something far away, although he seemed to be looking directly -into my face. Then a light returned to them and he came back to our -conversation. "I am sorry," he said. "For a moment you reminded me of -someone I knew long and long ago. But now I must be on my way." He left -his drink half-finished on the bar and walked wearily to the door. - -Sam took his glass away and wiped the bar reflectively. "Whenever -he's here, I can't turn down any halftrippers or other spacebums," he -complained. "I tried it once, and the old boy looked so pathetic that I -damn near cried myself." - -"He seems to be quite a character," I said, only half-interested. - -"Sure," Sam said. "Haven't you heard about Joseph? He's immortal." - -"What?" I said, startled. - - * * * * * - -"Immortal. You know, he lives forever." He poured me another brandy and -leaned on the bar. His other customers had left and he was obviously in -the mood for talking. - -"I thought everybody knew about Joseph," he went on. "He was one of the -first spacebarons, a real bigshot, controlled the whole of Calypso; him -and his brother. They not only personally owned all of the satellite, -but even all of the space lines that served it. When it came to law -there, he was judge, jury, and owner of the courthouse and jail. -Brother, that was one monopoly." - -"You mean that old man that was just here?" I said in amazement. - -"That's right. Joseph, we call him now. He probably had a longer name -then. It was a long time ago. - -"Anyway, to get back to the story, one day a space liner radios in -that it wants to make an emergency landing on Calypso for medical -assistance. They had some virulent disease on board and the passengers -and crew were dying like flies. - -"Well, this brother of Joseph, Micheal, or something like that his name -was, advises Joseph not to give them permission to land. The captain of -the liner pleads with him, but Joseph tells him to move on, he doesn't -want to take any chances. The ship tried to make the next port, I -forget just what it was, but, anyway, to cut it short, they all died. -That's what started things churning in Joseph's bailiwick; a full-scale -revolution, no less." - -"You missed something there," I said. "The people wouldn't have been -expected to be so upset. After all, no matter how mistaken, he must -have thought he was acting in the interests of everyone on Calypso." - -"Yeah," Sam pointed out, "but the thing is that among the passengers -was Joseph's own boy, the most popular person on the satellite and -the apple of his old man's eye. Nobody had known it, but the kid was -playing hookey from his school on Terra and was making a cruise of the -Jupiter moons. - -"Joseph himself had never been very popular with his people, neither -had this younger brother of his, Micheal. Too strict, see. But -everybody liked the boy and were looking forward to the day when he'd -take over the reins of government. When it came out what happened, -they went berserk. They cornered Joseph and Micheal and a dozen or so -of their close associates in the palace, which was actually more of a -fortress than anything else." - -Sam wiped the bar again without need, and said reflectively, "It -must've been quite a fight. Not that Joseph himself participated. The -boy had been his whole life, and he just moved around like he was in a -trance. - -"They threw everything at that palace. Every weapon, every device, that -had been thought up for centuries; but it didn't crack. Finally, the -fight was ended by a fleet of battle cruisers from Terra. Joseph and -Micheal and the rest were removed and brought here to Mars. None of -them dared to remain on Calypso." - -I poured myself another brandy from the bottle that Sam had left on the -bar. "You make quite a story of it," I told him, "but you didn't tell -me what you'd started to--about the immortality." - -"Yeah," he said, "that's right. Well, it seems that in the atomic -bombardment of the palace something happened that wound up with Joseph -and his friends all immortal. Don't ask me what; I don't know and -neither did these scientist guys when they tried to figure it out. Of -course, it didn't become known for years; not until it became obvious -they weren't dying, or even aging. They continued to appear as they had -at the time of the fight. I don't mean they couldn't die at all; one by -one they dropped away. Two were lost in space; one was blown up in an -explosion on Terra; another was burned to death; but the only way they -could die was through accident--or suicide. After a few hundred years -they were all gone but Joseph, and, of course, he'd gone batty." - -I interrupted. "You mean he's insane?" - -The bartender grinned. "Crazy as a makron." - -I said slowly, "He seemed normal enough to me. Uh ... perhaps a bit -eccentric." - -Sam said, "Brother, he's as far around the corner as you can get. You -know what he thinks? He thinks that he's wandering through space, going -from planet to planet, trying to find a situation similar to that in -which he sent away the person he loved most to his death. He thinks -that if he ever finds that similar situation, he'll be able to make the -opposite decision from the one he made before and that will redeem him." - - * * * * * - -I frowned. "Where does he get the money for his wandering around the -planets?" - -"He don't need no money. He's good luck. There's not a captain in the -system that would refuse free passage to old Joseph." Sam shrugged his -beefy shoulders. "And who am I to say otherwise? That's why I give the -bums free drinks when he's around; so does every other bartender." - -Two customers had entered and Sam made his way down to them, leaving me -alone. - -A halftripper scurried through the door and cringed up to me. He -whimpered, "How about a drink, spaceman? I...." - -I flipped him a coin. "Sure, buddy," I said, repressing my usual nausea -at the sight of him. I got down from my stool and made my way out. It -was time for me to return to the spaceport and my job. - -I suppose that I forgot to tell the cabbie to take me to the -administration building entrance--the first time I'd made that mistake -in years. I was preoccupied with thoughts of Joseph and the story Sam -had told of him. The guards at the main gate must have let us through -without question when they saw my United Space Lines uniform. At any -rate, when I looked up, it was too late. Not only was I on the landing -field and in full view of the concrete take-off aprons, but one -gigantic freighter was in the process of blasting off. - -All the horror of it flowed over me with a rush. The careful training -of years; the work of the doctors who had treated me; all my own -self-discipline--were gone. I shook with terrified frenzy. The depths -of space! The free fall! The black emptiness! The utter, uncontrollable -terror! - -I screamed shrilly and the cabbie turned, wide-eyed, to stare at me. - -He knew the symptoms. "Space cafard! A halftripper!" he gasped, and -spun the cab about to get me to a hospital. He must have realized then -that my uniform didn't necessarily mean that I worked on the liners -themselves, but that I could be an office employee who only on rare -occasions went near the ships. - -He knew too, that the very sight of a spacecraft blasting off was -enough to put me in bed for a week; and that I was uncommonly lucky to -have the funds for the hospitalization. Mars was strewn with the human -wrecks of halftrippers who hadn't. - -As we whirled from the yard, we passed the bent figure of Joseph -walking unhurriedly toward a liner which was loading for the Venus run. - -My heart cried out, even through my terror, my sickness: - -_Joseph, Joseph.... So you too are still alive; and still seeking -forgiveness. I had thought I was the last._ - -_But you are by far the better off of we two, Joseph. For at least you -have been free to wander while I have stayed on this one hated spot -since all those centuries ago when we fled from Calypso and the wrath -of the people who had loved the boy so. As though we hadn't loved him -ourselves, Joseph._ - -_Yes, you are the better off, you can seek throughout the stars for -forgiveness. Then, too, your mind is forever dulled with your madness, -while mine is horribly aware, always, of what we've been through and of -the centuries ahead; it is only blurred when the space cafard comes._ - -_Joseph, Joseph ... you didn't even recognize your brother Micheal, nor -I you, when we met._ - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HALFTRIPPER *** - -***** This file should be named 63989-0.txt or 63989-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/3/9/8/63989/ - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this ebook. - -Title: Halftripper - -Author: Mack Reynolds - -Release Date: December 08, 2020 [EBook #63989] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed - Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HALFTRIPPER *** -</pre> -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>Halftripper</h1> - -<h2>By MACK REYNOLDS</h2> - -<p><i>Mars was strewn with the human wrecks of<br /> -halftrippers—terrorized cowards of space travel.<br /> -But perhaps the saddest, and the most fearful of<br /> -all was the immortal spacebum called Micheal.</i></p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Planet Stories November 1951.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>This section of New Sante Fe was off my beaten track. I've been on Mars -a long time and am more than usually familiar with the various centers -where we Terrans do our congregating. However, it'd been years since -I'd come through here.</p> - -<p>I was sitting in an obscure tavern, called, with commendable restraint, -simply Sam's Bar, lapping up Martian brandy and facing the prospect of -returning to the spaceport in a few hours with no particular enthusiasm.</p> - -<p>I only half-noticed the old man who got up on the stool next to me. Sam -came over and asked him what he'd have.</p> - -<p>The oldster carefully counted out some coins on the bar and said, -"Wine, Sam; a glass of Martian wine."</p> - -<p>"You know I don't want your money, Joseph," Sam told him.</p> - -<p>The old man answered reproachfully, "The wine would taste that much the -less, my friend, if I had not earned it by the sweat of my...."</p> - -<p>"Okay," Sam sighed. He poured the wine and rang up the money and went -off to wait on someone else.</p> - -<p>A halftripper sidled up to me. "How about a drink, spaceman?" he -whined. "I'm a graduate of the academy myself, class of '72." He must -have noted my United Space Lines uniform.</p> - -<p>"Sorry," I said gruffly, keeping my back to him. Any spaceman can tell -you that if you talk to a halftripper for long you'll soon be showing -symptoms of space cafard yourself. The underlying terror in him; the -mind shattering fear of space; the way he stares at you, thinking that -you can go home, while he is afraid to risk the trip. There are few of -them that can hide their disease.</p> - -<p>"I need a shot bad," he whispered urgently. He probably did, too. Few -halftrippers are able to secure jobs on the planets of their exile. -Most of them become beachcombers of space. Of course, there are some -exceptions, especially if they have money and connections.</p> - -<p>I shuddered. "Beat it," I grated, hating myself and him.</p> - -<p>The fear of space cafard must be somewhat similar to that of -seasickness every new sailor had back in ancient days when man sailed -the oceans of Terra. He never knew until he made his first voyage if he -was going to be susceptible; and, if he turned out to be, it meant the -sea wasn't for him.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Of course, space cafard goes tragically further. A new man usually -succumbs his first few hours in space, if he is going to get it at -all. He probably makes it to the next planet, sometimes not; sometimes -he goes incurably mad, right off the bat. But even if he does make -it, wild horses could never get him on another rocketship. He becomes -a halftripper, marooned on an alien world. Usually, although I have -known of several exceptions, if you don't get it on your first trip, it -seldom bothers you; you're immune for the rest of your life.</p> - -<p>He repeated, "How about it, spaceman?"</p> - -<p>Sam began to approach threateningly. He couldn't afford to have -halftrippers hang out in his place. For one thing, the shipping lines -would soon declare him out of bounds for their crews. You just can't -let good men come in contact with obvious victims of space cafard.</p> - -<p>The old-timer Sam had called Joseph was distressed. "You know not what -you say," he told me gently.</p> - -<p>I managed a sneer. "Am I supposed to buy a drink for every spacebum -that comes along?"</p> - -<p>The halftripper's eyes lit up and he came closer to the old man. "How -about it, pop? Could you loan me the price of a nip of woji?"</p> - -<p>Joseph's face was compassionate. "I am sorry, brother, I myself have -nothing, but I commend you to the generosity of the tavern keeper."</p> - -<p>I snorted at that. I could imagine how much generosity the space leper -would get from the bartender.</p> - -<p>That's where the surprise came. Sam sighed. "Okay, halftripper, what'll -it be?"</p> - -<p>The spacebum ordered a double woji, got it down quickly, as though he -was afraid Sam might change his mind, and then beat it to find a place -to have his dreams when the full force of the also-narcotic drink hit -him.</p> - -<p>I finished my brandy, ordered another, and grinned wryly at the -old-timer. "You give me kert for telling him to beat it, but you give -Sam the high sign to let him have woji with which to rot out his -brains. I'd think I was being the kinder of the two of us."</p> - -<p>"Each man's salvation is within himself," Joseph said softly. "You -won't redeem him by attempting to keep him from his weaknesses."</p> - -<p>"You talk like a saint but I notice you're sitting here at a bar."</p> - -<p>He looked at me penetratingly, and there was vast emptiness behind -his eyes. "There is little to enjoy in life," he said softly, "but -I have had ample time to investigate all of the supposed pleasures. -At one time I drank greatly and kept myself in a state of continual -intoxication for a period longer than you could believe. Then I went -through a state when I let nothing pass my lips but water. Now I see -the mistake of both extremes and can enjoy an occasional glass without -feeling the need of swilling it down until intoxication dulls me."</p> - -<p>He had me interested now. I said, "You sound as though you've found the -way in which to get the greatest satisfaction from everything in life -but I notice that you don't appear particularly happy."</p> - -<p>He was silent for a long time. Finally he sighed and answered, -"Happiness is not to be found in wine, nor in food, nor in beautiful -women, nor even in wealth and power. It is from within, what you have -done, what you are in the eyes of your fellow man."</p> - -<p>He looked as though he was about to say more, but he fell silent, his -eyes on something far away, although he seemed to be looking directly -into my face. Then a light returned to them and he came back to our -conversation. "I am sorry," he said. "For a moment you reminded me of -someone I knew long and long ago. But now I must be on my way." He left -his drink half-finished on the bar and walked wearily to the door.</p> - -<p>Sam took his glass away and wiped the bar reflectively. "Whenever -he's here, I can't turn down any halftrippers or other spacebums," he -complained. "I tried it once, and the old boy looked so pathetic that I -damn near cried myself."</p> - -<p>"He seems to be quite a character," I said, only half-interested.</p> - -<p>"Sure," Sam said. "Haven't you heard about Joseph? He's immortal."</p> - -<p>"What?" I said, startled.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Immortal. You know, he lives forever." He poured me another brandy and -leaned on the bar. His other customers had left and he was obviously in -the mood for talking.</p> - -<p>"I thought everybody knew about Joseph," he went on. "He was one of the -first spacebarons, a real bigshot, controlled the whole of Calypso; him -and his brother. They not only personally owned all of the satellite, -but even all of the space lines that served it. When it came to law -there, he was judge, jury, and owner of the courthouse and jail. -Brother, that was one monopoly."</p> - -<p>"You mean that old man that was just here?" I said in amazement.</p> - -<p>"That's right. Joseph, we call him now. He probably had a longer name -then. It was a long time ago.</p> - -<p>"Anyway, to get back to the story, one day a space liner radios in -that it wants to make an emergency landing on Calypso for medical -assistance. They had some virulent disease on board and the passengers -and crew were dying like flies.</p> - -<p>"Well, this brother of Joseph, Micheal, or something like that his name -was, advises Joseph not to give them permission to land. The captain of -the liner pleads with him, but Joseph tells him to move on, he doesn't -want to take any chances. The ship tried to make the next port, I -forget just what it was, but, anyway, to cut it short, they all died. -That's what started things churning in Joseph's bailiwick; a full-scale -revolution, no less."</p> - -<p>"You missed something there," I said. "The people wouldn't have been -expected to be so upset. After all, no matter how mistaken, he must -have thought he was acting in the interests of everyone on Calypso."</p> - -<p>"Yeah," Sam pointed out, "but the thing is that among the passengers -was Joseph's own boy, the most popular person on the satellite and -the apple of his old man's eye. Nobody had known it, but the kid was -playing hookey from his school on Terra and was making a cruise of the -Jupiter moons.</p> - -<p>"Joseph himself had never been very popular with his people, neither -had this younger brother of his, Micheal. Too strict, see. But -everybody liked the boy and were looking forward to the day when he'd -take over the reins of government. When it came out what happened, -they went berserk. They cornered Joseph and Micheal and a dozen or so -of their close associates in the palace, which was actually more of a -fortress than anything else."</p> - -<p>Sam wiped the bar again without need, and said reflectively, "It -must've been quite a fight. Not that Joseph himself participated. The -boy had been his whole life, and he just moved around like he was in a -trance.</p> - -<p>"They threw everything at that palace. Every weapon, every device, that -had been thought up for centuries; but it didn't crack. Finally, the -fight was ended by a fleet of battle cruisers from Terra. Joseph and -Micheal and the rest were removed and brought here to Mars. None of -them dared to remain on Calypso."</p> - -<p>I poured myself another brandy from the bottle that Sam had left on the -bar. "You make quite a story of it," I told him, "but you didn't tell -me what you'd started to—about the immortality."</p> - -<p>"Yeah," he said, "that's right. Well, it seems that in the atomic -bombardment of the palace something happened that wound up with Joseph -and his friends all immortal. Don't ask me what; I don't know and -neither did these scientist guys when they tried to figure it out. Of -course, it didn't become known for years; not until it became obvious -they weren't dying, or even aging. They continued to appear as they had -at the time of the fight. I don't mean they couldn't die at all; one by -one they dropped away. Two were lost in space; one was blown up in an -explosion on Terra; another was burned to death; but the only way they -could die was through accident—or suicide. After a few hundred years -they were all gone but Joseph, and, of course, he'd gone batty."</p> - -<p>I interrupted. "You mean he's insane?"</p> - -<p>The bartender grinned. "Crazy as a makron."</p> - -<p>I said slowly, "He seemed normal enough to me. Uh ... perhaps a bit -eccentric."</p> - -<p>Sam said, "Brother, he's as far around the corner as you can get. You -know what he thinks? He thinks that he's wandering through space, going -from planet to planet, trying to find a situation similar to that in -which he sent away the person he loved most to his death. He thinks -that if he ever finds that similar situation, he'll be able to make the -opposite decision from the one he made before and that will redeem him."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>I frowned. "Where does he get the money for his wandering around the -planets?"</p> - -<p>"He don't need no money. He's good luck. There's not a captain in the -system that would refuse free passage to old Joseph." Sam shrugged his -beefy shoulders. "And who am I to say otherwise? That's why I give the -bums free drinks when he's around; so does every other bartender."</p> - -<p>Two customers had entered and Sam made his way down to them, leaving me -alone.</p> - -<p>A halftripper scurried through the door and cringed up to me. He -whimpered, "How about a drink, spaceman? I...."</p> - -<p>I flipped him a coin. "Sure, buddy," I said, repressing my usual nausea -at the sight of him. I got down from my stool and made my way out. It -was time for me to return to the spaceport and my job.</p> - -<p>I suppose that I forgot to tell the cabbie to take me to the -administration building entrance—the first time I'd made that mistake -in years. I was preoccupied with thoughts of Joseph and the story Sam -had told of him. The guards at the main gate must have let us through -without question when they saw my United Space Lines uniform. At any -rate, when I looked up, it was too late. Not only was I on the landing -field and in full view of the concrete take-off aprons, but one -gigantic freighter was in the process of blasting off.</p> - -<p>All the horror of it flowed over me with a rush. The careful training -of years; the work of the doctors who had treated me; all my own -self-discipline—were gone. I shook with terrified frenzy. The depths -of space! The free fall! The black emptiness! The utter, uncontrollable -terror!</p> - -<p>I screamed shrilly and the cabbie turned, wide-eyed, to stare at me.</p> - -<p>He knew the symptoms. "Space cafard! A halftripper!" he gasped, and -spun the cab about to get me to a hospital. He must have realized then -that my uniform didn't necessarily mean that I worked on the liners -themselves, but that I could be an office employee who only on rare -occasions went near the ships.</p> - -<p>He knew too, that the very sight of a spacecraft blasting off was -enough to put me in bed for a week; and that I was uncommonly lucky to -have the funds for the hospitalization. Mars was strewn with the human -wrecks of halftrippers who hadn't.</p> - -<p>As we whirled from the yard, we passed the bent figure of Joseph -walking unhurriedly toward a liner which was loading for the Venus run.</p> - -<p>My heart cried out, even through my terror, my sickness:</p> - -<p><i>Joseph, Joseph.... So you too are still alive; and still seeking -forgiveness. I had thought I was the last.</i></p> - -<p><i>But you are by far the better off of we two, Joseph. For at least you -have been free to wander while I have stayed on this one hated spot -since all those centuries ago when we fled from Calypso and the wrath -of the people who had loved the boy so. As though we hadn't loved him -ourselves, Joseph.</i></p> - -<p><i>Yes, you are the better off, you can seek throughout the stars for -forgiveness. Then, too, your mind is forever dulled with your madness, -while mine is horribly aware, always, of what we've been through and of -the centuries ahead; it is only blurred when the space cafard comes.</i></p> - -<p><i>Joseph, Joseph ... you didn't even recognize your brother Micheal, nor -I you, when we met.</i></p> - -<pre style='margin-top:6em'> -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HALFTRIPPER *** - -This file should be named 63989-h.htm or 63989-h.zip - -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: -http://www.gutenberg.org/6/3/9/8/63989/ - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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