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If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - - -Title: A Southern Woman's Story - - -Author: Phœbe Yates Pember - - - -Release Date: November 24, 2020 [eBook #63870] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - - -***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SOUTHERN WOMAN'S STORY*** - - -E-text prepared by Quentin Campbell and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) from page images generously made -available by the Google Books Library Project (https://books.google.com) - - - -Note: Images of the original pages are available through - the Google Books Library Project. See - https://books.google.com/books?id=3wY_aZZT_9cC&hl=en - - -Transcriber’s note: - - Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). - - Small capitals in the original text have been transcribed as - ALL CAPITALS. - - See the end of this document for details of corrections and - changes. - - - - - -A SOUTHERN WOMAN’S STORY - -by - -PHŒBE YATES PEMBER, - - -[Illustration – Carleton & Co. colophon – Arabic calligraphy -meaning ‘book’] - - - - - - -New York: -Copyright, 1879, by -G. W. Carleton & Co., Publishers. -London: S. Low, Son & Co. -MDCCCLXXIX. - - Samuel Stodder, Trow - Stereotyper, Printing and Book Binding Co. -90 Ann Street, N. Y. N. Y. - - - - - _Whatsoever is beginning that is done by human skill, - Every daring emanation of the mind’s imperfect will; - Every first impulse of passion, gush of love or twinge of hate; - Every launch upon the waters, wide horizoned by our fate; - Every venture in the chances of life’s sad, aye, desperate game; - Whatsoever be our object, whatsoever be our aim— - ’Tis well we cannot see - What the end will be._ - - - - - CONTENTS. - —————— - - PAGE - - _Introduction—Women of the South—Startling Proposition—First - Appearance on any Stage—Petticoat Government—Dull, but - necessary Details—Initiation—“Great Oaks from little Acorns - grow”—Partnership with Jim—A First Venture—“A Rose by any - other name,” &c.—Snubbed—His Mammy’s Soup—Dissolved Partnership - with Jim—Explanations—Routine—Mr. Jones’ Views—“Sufficient for - the Day,” &c.—Introduction of Hero—Introduction of Hero, The - Whiskey Barrel—The Hero Captured—Jones’ Indignation,_ 11 - - _Wanted, A Dose of Grammar—Our Daily Trials—The Ishmaelite—Mrs. - Marthy Brown’s Son—A Circular Letter—My First Proposal— - Compliments—More flattering than agreeable—Compliments again— - Love unto Death—The Silver Cord loosened—A Sweet Pur-ta-a-tur-r - —Sober Ladies wanted—Delicate Sensibilities—More of them—Free - and Equal American Servant Ladies—Sociable Spittoon—Possession - Nine and Half Points of Law—Vi et armis—Spirit of ’63—Not “A - Ministering Angel, thou”—Work—First Essay—Results—Where the - Weary are at Rest—“An only Son, and my Mother a Widow,”_ 30 - - _Home Cares and Affections—If not my Son, then another Mother’s— - Sacred Feelings and bad Grammar—Sad Letters—Virginians—Antagonism - —The wicked Marylanders—Troublesome Customers—Good Wine needs no - Bush—Annoyances—Woman’s Wit wins—The Flesh-pots of Egypt,_ 60 - - _Anxieties—No Hope in this World—Dead,_ 73 - - _State Peculiarities and Differences—Tar-Heel Tastes—Babies even - give up Milk—Our Little Romance—Loved and Lost,_ 76 - - _The Conquering Hero comes again—The Hero again—Rats, Hopeless - Inebriates—What Constitutes a Lady?—The Hero again,—and again— - Military Law Declared—Five Minutes’ Grace—The Tables Turned - —Concise, but not Clear—A Storm Brewing—Diplomatic Correspondence - —Confusion of Tenses—How History is made—Non-intervention—Amende,_ 82 - - _Sadness and Doubts—Sorrow and Privation—No Change—Educated Rats—Rat - Surgeon—Novel Style of catching them,_ 98 - - _No Personal Animosities—The Bitter Blood—A Common Sight—A - Looking-Glass Wanted—Vaccination—Prisoners of War—Unwelcome - Visitors—An Unexpected Gathering—Counterchecks—Checkmated— - Unexpected and Unwelcome Visitor—What shall I do with it?—As - Godmother—Home-Sickness,_ 104 - - _Spring Operations—Unpleasant Truths—Cast your bread upon the - waters—Draw the Vail down—A Common Story—A Strange Experience—“We - left him alone in his Glory”—Intense Anxiety—Saved,_ 119 - - _Itinerary Labors—A Rose by any other Name—Not among the - Compliments—New Uses for the Bible—Camp Fashions—Life was so - Sweet—Difficult Responsibilities—Failures—Erin-go-bragh—Whiskey_ - versus _Religion,_ 127 - - _My Furlough—Off—A Strong-Minded Failure—A Hard Road to Travel— - Services not Required—Friend to the “Faymales”—A Bold Attempt— - None but the Fair deserve the Brave—Importance of hair-pins— - Another Attempt—Frightened at last—All’s Well that ends Well— - Up-Country Georgia Eloquence—General Desolation—A Woman has an - Opinion—Beaten at Last—One of our Future Presidents—Compromises,_ 137 - - _Comparisons—Entire Resumption—Christmas Festivities—Discussions - regarding the Hero—Scribbled Eggs and Flitters—Un-chewable Food,_ 156 - - _Culinary Mortifications—Pickles_ versus _Homespun,_ 161 - - _Beginning of the End—Agitations—History—Picture of the Times—The - Departure—Burning of the City—Last Scenes—Taking Possession— - Entrance of the Federal Army—Occupation of the City—Amusements - Furnished—Wicked Ingratitude—Circus and Pictorial Food— - Distinguished Visitors—Miracles—Left “alone in my glory”—Hero - re-appears—Noli me tangere—Victory Perches on my Banner— - Confederate Full Dress—Casus belli—The Law of Nations—Liberty or - Death—At Last!—The Mother of States—My Thanks—And Gratitude,_ 163 - - _The End,_ 191 - - -[Illustration – Decorative scroll work at top of page] - - - - - A - - SOUTHERN WOMAN’S STORY. - - - _Introduction._ - -Soon after the breaking out of the Southern war, the need of hospitals, -properly organized and arranged, began to be felt, and buildings -adapted for the purpose were secured by government. Richmond, being -nearest the scene of action, took the lead in this matter, and the -formerly hastily contrived accommodations for the sick were soon -replaced by larger, more comfortable and better ventilated buildings. - -The expense of keeping up small hospitals had forced itself upon the -attention of the surgeon-general, Moore, who on that account gradually -incorporated them into half-a-dozen immense establishments, strewn -around the suburbs. These were called Camp Jackson, Camp Winder, -Chimborazo Hospital, Stuart Hospital and Howard Grove; and were -arranged so that from thirty to forty wards formed a division, and -generally five divisions a hospital. Each ward accommodated from thirty -to forty patients, according to the immediate need for space. Besides -the sick wards, similar buildings were used for official purposes, for -in these immense establishments every necessary trade was carried on. -There were the carpenter’s, blacksmith’s, apothecary’s and shoemaker’s -shops; the ice houses, commissary’s and quartermaster’s departments; -and offices for surgeons, stewards, baggage-masters and clerks. Each -division was furnished with all these, and each hospital presented to -the eye the appearance of a small village. - -There was no reason why, with this preparation for the wounded and -sick, that they should not have received all the benefit of good -nursing and food; but soon rumors began to circulate that there was -something wrong in hospital administration, and Congress, desirous of -remedying omissions, passed a law by which matrons were appointed. -They had no official recognition, ranking even below stewards from -a military point of view. Their pay was almost nominal from the -depreciated nature of the currency. There had been a great deal of -desultory visiting and nursing, by the women, previous to this law -taking effect, resulting in more harm than benefit to the patients; and -now that the field was open, a few, very few ladies, and a great many -inefficient and uneducated women, hardly above the laboring classes, -applied for and filled the offices. - - - _Women of the South._ - -The women of the South had been openly and violently rebellious from -the moment they thought their States’ rights touched. They incited the -men to struggle in support of their views, and whether right or wrong, -sustained them nobly to the end. They were the first to rebel—the -last to succumb. Taking an active part in all that came within their -sphere, and often compelled to go beyond this when the field demanded -as many soldiers as could be raised; feeling a passion of interest in -every man in the gray uniform of the Confederate service; they were -doubly anxious to give comfort and assistance to the sick and wounded. -In the course of a long and harassing war, with ports blockaded and -harvests burnt, rail tracks constantly torn up, so that supplies of -food were cut off, and sold always at exorbitant prices, no appeal was -ever made to the women of the South, individually or collectively, that -did not meet with a ready response. There was no parade of generosity; -no published lists of donations, inspected by public eyes. What was -contributed was given unostentatiously, whether a barrel of coffee or -the only half bottle of wine in the giver’s possession. - - - _Startling Proposition._ - -About this time one of these large hospitals was to be opened, -and the wife of the then acting secretary of war offered me the -superintendence—rather a startling proposition to a woman used to all -the comforts of luxurious life. Foremost among the Virginia women, she -had given her resources of mind and means to the sick, and her graphic -and earnest representations of the benefit a good and determined -woman’s rule could effect in such a position settled the result in -my mind. The natural idea that such a life would be injurious to -the delicacy and refinement of a lady—that her nature would become -deteriorated and her sensibilities blunted, was rather appalling. But -the first step only costs, and that was soon taken. - - - _First Appearance on any Stage._ - -A preliminary interview with the surgeon-in-chief gave necessary -confidence. He was energetic—capable—skillful. A man with ready oil -to pour upon troubled waters. Difficulties melted away beneath the -warmth of his ready interest, and mountains sank into mole-hills when -his quick comprehension had surmounted and leveled them. However -troublesome daily increasing annoyances became, if they could not be -removed, his few and ready words sent applicants and grumblers home -satisfied to do the best they could. Wisely he decided to have an -educated and efficient woman at the head of his hospital, and having -succeeded, never allowed himself to forget that fact. - - - _Petticoat Government._ - -The day after my decision was made found me at “headquarters,” the -only two-story building on hospital ground, then occupied by the -chief surgeon and his clerks. He had not yet made his appearance that -morning, and while awaiting him, many of his corps, who had expected in -horror the advent of female supervision, walked in and out, evidently -inspecting me. There was at that time a general ignorance on all -sides, except among the hospital officials, of the decided objection -on the part of the latter to the carrying out of a law which they -prognosticated would entail “petticoat government;” but there was no -mistaking the stage-whisper which reached my ears from the open door -of the office that morning, as the little contract surgeon passed out -and informed a friend he met, in a tone of ill-concealed disgust, that -“_one of them had come_.” - - - _Dull, but necessary Details._ - -To those not acquainted with hospital arrangements, some explanations -are necessary. To each hospital is assigned a surgeon-in-chief. -To each _division_ of the hospital, a surgeon in charge. To each -_ward_ of the division, an assistant surgeon. But when the press -of business is great, contract doctors are also put in charge of -wards. The surgeon-in-chief makes an inspection each day, calling a -board of inferior surgeons to make their report to him. The surgeon -in charge is always on the ground, goes through the wards daily, -consulting with his assistants and reforming abuses, making his -report daily to the surgeon-in-chief. The assistant surgeon has only -his one or two wards to attend, passing through them twice each day -and prescribing. In cases of danger he calls in the surgeon in charge -for advice or assistance. The contract surgeons performed the same -duties as assistant surgeons, but ranked below them, as they were not -commissioned officers and received less pay. Each ward had its corps -of nurses, unfortunately not practised or expert in their duties, as -they had been sick or wounded men, convalescing and placed in that -position,—however ignorant they might be,—till strong enough for -field duty. This arrangement bore very hard upon all interested, and -harder upon the sick, as it entailed constant supervision and endless -teaching; but the demand for men in the field was too imperative to -allow those who were fit for their duties there to be detained for -nursing purposes, however skillful they may have become. - -Besides these mentioned, the hospital contained an endless horde -of stewards and their clerks; surgeons’ clerks; commissaries and -their clerks; quartermasters and clerks; apothecaries and clerks; -baggage-masters; forage-masters; wagon-masters; cooks; bakers; -carpenters; shoemakers; ward-inspectors; ambulance-drivers; and many -more; forgotten hangers-on, to whom the soldiers gave the name of -“hospital rats” in common with would-be invalids who resisted being -cured from a disinclination to field service. They were so called, -it is to be supposed, from the difficulty of getting rid of either -species. Still, many of them were physically unfit for the field. - - - _Initiation._ - -Among these conflicting elements, all belittled at a time of general -enthusiasm by long absence from the ennobling influences of military -service, and all striving with rare exceptions to gain the small -benefits and rare comforts so scarce in the Confederacy, I was -introduced that day by the surgeon in charge. He was a cultivated, -gentlemanly man, kind-hearted when he remembered to be so, and very -much afraid of any responsibility resting upon his shoulders. No -preparations had been made by him for his female department. He -escorted me into a long, low, whitewashed building, open from end to -end, called for two benches, and then, with entire composure, as if -surrounding circumstances were most favorable, commenced an æsthetic -conversation on _belles lettres_, female influence, and the first, -last and only novel published during the war. (It was a translation of -_Joseph the Second_, printed on gray and bound in marbled wall-paper.) -A neat compliment offered at leave-taking rounded off the interview, -with a parting promise from him to send me the carpenter to make -partitions and shelves for office, parlor, laundry, pantry and kitchen. -The steward was then summoned for consultation, and my representative -reign began. - - - “_Great Oaks from little Acorns grow._” - -A stove was unearthed; very small, very rusty, and fit only for a -family of six. There were then about six hundred men upon the matron’s -diet list, the illest ones to be supplied with food from my kitchen, -and the convalescents from the steward’s, called, in contra-distinction -from mine, “the big kitchen.” Just then my mind could hardly grope -through the darkness that clouded it, as to what were my special -duties, but one mental spectrum always presented itself—_chicken soup_. - - - _Partnership with Jim._ - -Having vaguely heard of requisitions, I then and there made my first, -in very unofficial style. A polite request sent through “Jim” (a small -black boy) to the steward for a pair of chickens. They came instantly -ready dressed for cooking. Jim picked up some shavings, kindled up the -stove, begged, borrowed or stole (either act being lawful to his mind), -a large iron pot from the big kitchen. For the first time I cut up with -averted eyes a raw bird, and the Rubicon was passed. - -My readers must not suppose that this picture applies generally to -all our hospitals, or that means and appliances so early in the war -for food and comfort, were so meagre. This state of affairs was only -the result of accident and some misunderstanding. The surgeon of my -hospital naturally thought I had informed myself of the power vested -in me by virtue of my position, and, having some experience, would use -the rights given me by the law passed in Congress, to arrange my own -department; and I, on reading the bill, could only understand that the -office was one that dovetailed the duties of housekeeper and cook, -nothing more. - - - _A First Venture._ - -In the meantime the soup was boiling, and was undeniably a success, -from the perfume it exhaled. Nature may not have intended me for a -Florence Nightingale, but a kitchen proved my worth. Frying-pans, -griddles, stew-pans and coffee-pots soon became my household gods. The -niches must have been prepared years previously, invisible to the naked -eye but still there. - -Gaining courage from familiarity with my position, a venture across the -lane brought me to the nearest ward (they were all separate buildings, -it must be remembered, covering a half mile of ground in a circle, one -story high, with long, low windows opening back in a groove against the -inside wall), and, under the first I peeped in, lay the shadow of a man -extended on his bed, pale and attennuated. - -What woman’s heart would not melt and make itself a home where so much -needed? - -His wants were inquired into, and, like all the humbler class of men, -who think that unless they have been living on hog and hominy they are -starved, he complained of not having eaten anything “for three mortal -weeks.” - - - “_A Rose by any other name,” &c._ - -In the present state of the kitchen larder, there was certainly not -much of a choice, and I was as yet ignorant of the capabilities of the -steward’s department. However, soup was suggested, as a great soother -of “misery in his back,” and a generous supply of adjectives prefixed -for flavor—“nice, hot, good chicken soup.” The suggestion was received -kindly. If it was very nice he would take some: “he was never, though, -much of a hand for drinks.” My mind rejected the application of words, -but matter not mind, was the subject under consideration. - -All my gastronomic experience revolted against soup without the sick -man’s parsley; and Jim, my acting partner, volunteered to get some at a -mysterious place he always called “The Dutchman’s,” so at last, armed -with a bowl full of the decoction, duly salted, peppered, and seasoned, -I again sought my first patient. - - - _Snubbed._ - -He rose deliberately—so deliberately that I felt sensible of the great -favor he was conferring. He smoothed his tangled locks with a weak -hand, took a piece of well-masticated tobacco from between three or -four solitary teeth, but still the soup was unappropriated, and it -appeared evident that some other preliminaries were to be arranged. -The novelty of my position, added to a lively imagination, suggested -fears that he might think it necessary to arise for compliment sake; -and hospital clothing being made to suit the scarcity and expense of -homespun, the idea was startling. But my suspense did not continue -long; he was only seeking for a brown-covered tract hid under his -pillow. - -Did he intend to read grace before meat? No, he simply wanted a -pocket-handkerchief, which cruel war had denied; so without comment a -leaf was quietly abstracted and used for that purpose. The result was -satisfactory, for the next moment the bowl was taken from my hand, and -the first spoonful of soup transmitted to his mouth. - -It was an awful minute! My fate seemed to hang upon the fiat of that -uneducated palate. A long painful gulp, a “judgmatical” shake of the -head, _not_ in the affirmative, and the bowl traveled slowly back to my -extended hand. - - - _His Mammy’s Soup._ - -“My mammy’s soup was not like that,” he whined. “But I might worry a -little down if it war’n’t for them _weeds_ a-floating round.” - -Well! why be depressed? There may not after all be any actual -difference between weeds and herbs. - -After that first day improvements rapidly progressed. Better stoves, -and plenty of them, were put up; closets enclosed; china or its -substitutes, pottery and tin, supplied. I learned to make requisitions -and to use my power. The coffee, tea, milk, and all other luxuries -provided for the sick wards, were, through my demand, turned over to -me; also a co-laborer with Jim, that young gentleman’s disposition -proving to be like my old horse, who pulled well and steadily in single -harness, but when tried in double team, left all the hard work to the -last comer. However, honor to whom honor is due. He gave me many hints -which my higher intelligence had overlooked, comprehended by him more -through instinct than reason, and was as clever at gathering trophies -for my kitchen as Gen. Butler was—for other purposes. - - - _Dissolved Partnership with Jim._ - -Still my office did not rise above that of chief cook, for I dared not -leave my kitchen unattended for a moment, till Dr. M., one day, passing -the window, and seeing me seated on a low bench peeling potatoes, -appeared much surprised, and inquired where my cooks were. Explanations -followed, a copy of hospital rules were sent for, and authority found -to provide the matron’s department with suitable attendants. A gentle, -sweet-tempered lady, extremely neat and efficient, was appointed -assistant matron, also three or four cooks and bakers. Jim and his -companion were degraded into drawers of water and hewers of wood; that -is to say, these ought to have been their duties, but their occupation -became walking gentlemen. On assuming their out-door labors, their -allegiance to me ceased, and the trophies which formerly swelled my -list of dainties for the sick were nightly carried “down the hill,” -where everything that was missed disappeared. - - - _Explanations._ - -Then began the routine of hospital life in regular order. Breakfast -at seven in the morning in summer and eight in winter. Coffee, tea, -milk, bread of various kinds, and butter or molasses, and whatever -meats could be saved from the yesterday’s dinner. This was in the first -year of the war. Afterwards we were not able to be so luxurious. The -quantity supplied would be impartially divided among the wards with the -retention of the delicacies for the very ill men. - -The ward-masters with their nurses gathered three times a day, for each -meal, around my office window adjoining the kitchen, with large wooden -trays and piles of plates, waiting to receive the food, each being -helped in turn to a fair division. If an invalid craved any particular -dish the nurse mentioned the want, and if not contrary to the surgeon’s -order, it, or its nearest approximation was allowed him. - - - _Routine._ - -After breakfast the assistant surgeons visited their respective wards, -making out their diet lists, or rather filling them up, for the forms -were printed, and only the invalid’s name, number of his bed, and his -diet—light, half, or full, were required to be specified, also the -quantity of whiskey desired for each. Dinner and supper served in the -same way, except for the very sick. They had what they desired, in or -out of season, and all seemed to object to the nutriment concocted from -those tasteless and starchy compounds of wheat, corn and arrowroot, -that are so thick and heavy to swallow, and so little nutritious. They -were served hot from the fire, or congealed from the ice (for after -the suffering caused from the deprivation of ice the first summer of -the war was felt, each hospital built its own ice-house, which was -well filled by the next season). At two o’clock the regular dinner -of poultry, beef, ham, fish and vegetables, was distributed. (After -the first year our bill of fare decreased much in variety.) Supper at -six. The chief matron sat at her table, the diet lists arranged before -her, each day, and managed so that no especial ward should invariably -be the first served, although they were named in alphabetical order. -Any necessary instructions of the surgeons were noted and attended -to, sometimes accompanied with observations of her own, not always -complimentary to those gentlemen, nor prudent as regarded herself. - - - _Mr. Jones’ Views._ - -The orders ran somewhat in this fashion: “Chicken soup for twenty—beef -tea for forty—tea and toast for fifty.” A certain Mr. Jones had -expressed his abhorrence of tea and toast, so I asked the nurse why he -gave it to him. - -He answered that the diet was ordered by the surgeon, but Jones said he -would not touch it, for he never ate slops, and so he had eaten nothing -for two days. - -“Well, what does he wish?” - -“The doctor says tea and toast” (reiterating his first remark). - -“Did you tell the doctor he would not eat it?” - -“_I_ told the doctor, and _he_ told the doctor.” - -“Perhaps he did not hear, or understand you.” - -“Yes, he did. He only said that he wanted that man particularly to have -tea and toast, though I told him Jones threw it up regularly; so he put -it down again, and said Jones was out of his head, and Jones says the -doctor is a fool.” - -My remark upon this was that Jones could not be so very much out of his -head—an observation that entailed subsequent consequences. The habit -so common among physicians when dealing with uneducated people, of -insisting upon particular kinds of diet, irrespective of the patient’s -tastes, was a peculiar grievance that no complaint during four years -ever remedied. - - - “_Sufficient for the Day,” &c._ - -Although visiting my wards in the morning for the purpose of speaking -words of comfort to the sick, and remedying any apparent evils which -had been overlooked or forgotten by the surgeons when going their -rounds, the fear that the nourishment furnished had not suited the -tastes of men debilitated to an extreme not only by disease and wounds, -but also by the privations and exposures of camp life, would again take -me among them in the afternoon. Then would come heart-sickness and -discouragement, for out of a hundred invalids, seventy, on an average, -would assert that they had not taken any nourishment whatever. This -was partly owing to habit or imitation of others, and partly to the -human desire to enlist sympathy. The common soldier has a horror of a -hospital, and with the rejection of food comes the hope that weakness -will increase proportionally, and a furlough become necessary. - -Besides, the human palate, to relish good food, must be as well -educated as other organs for other purposes. Who appreciates a good -painting until his eye is trained, or fine harmony until the ear is -cultivated?—and why should not the same rule apply to tongue and -taste? Men who never before had been sick, or swallowed those starchy, -flavorless compounds young surgeons are so fond of prescribing, -repudiated them invariably, in spite of my skill in making them -palatable. They were suspicious of the _terra incognita_ from which -they sprang, having had no experience heretofore, and suspicion always -engenders disgust. - - - _Introduction of Hero._ - -Daily inspection too, convinced me that great evils still existed under -my rule, in spite of my zealous care for my patients. For example, the -monthly barrel of whiskey which I was entitled to draw still remained -at the dispensary under the guardianship of the apothecary and his -clerks, and quarts and pints were issued through any order coming from -surgeons or their substitutes, so that the contents were apt to be -gone long before I was entitled to draw more, and my sick would suffer -for want of the stimulant. There were many suspicious circumstances -connected with this _institution_; for the monthly barrel was an -institution and a very important one. Indeed, if it is necessary to -have a hero for this matter-of-fact narrative the whiskey barrel will -have to step forward and make his bow. - - - _Introduction of Hero—The Whiskey Barrel._ - -So again I referred to the hospital bill passed by Congress, which -provided that liquors in common with other luxuries, belonged to the -matron’s department, and in an evil moment, such an impulse as tempted -Pandora to open the fatal casket assailed me, and I despatched the -bill, flanked by a formal requisition for the liquor. An answer came -in the shape of the head surgeon. He declared I would find “the charge -most onerous,” that “whiskey was required at all hours, sometimes in -the middle of the night, and even if I remained at the hospital, he -would not like me to be disturbed,” “it was constantly needed for -medicinal purposes,” “he was responsible for its proper application;” -but I was not convinced, and withstood all argument and persuasion. He -was proverbially sober himself, but I was aware why both commissioned -and non-commissioned officers opposed violently the removal of the -liquor to my quarters. So, the printed law being at hand for reference, -I nailed my colors to the mast, and that evening all the liquor was in -my pantry and the key in my pocket. - - - _The Hero Captured._ - -The first restraints of a woman’s presence had now worn away, and the -thousand miseries of my position began to make themselves felt. The -young surgeons (not all gentlemen, although their profession should -have made them aspirants to the character), and the nurses played -into each other’s hands. If the former were off on a frolic, the -latter would conceal the absence of necessary attendance by erasing -the date of the diet list of the day before, and substituting the -proper one, duplicating the prescription also, and thus preventing -inquiry. In like manner the assistant surgeons, to whom the nurses -were alone responsible, would give them leave of absence, concealing -the fact from the head surgeon, which could easily be effected; then -the patients would suffer, and complaints from the matron be obnoxious -and troublesome, and also entirely out of her line of business. -She was to be cook and housekeeper, and nothing more. Added now to -other difficulties was the dragonship of the Hesperides,—the guarding -of the liquefied golden fruit to which access had been open to a -certain extent before her reign,—and for many, many months the petty -persecutions endured from all the small fry around almost exceeded -human patience to bear. What the surgeon in charge could do to mitigate -the annoyances entailed he conscientiously did; but with the weight of -a large hospital on his not very strong mind, and very little authority -delegated to him, he could hardly reform abuses or punish silly -attacks, so small in the abstract, so great in the aggregate. - - - _Jones’ Indignation._ - -The eventful evening when Mr. Jones revolted against tea and toast, -my unfortunate remark intended for no particular ear but caught by -the nurse, that the patient’s intellects could not be confused if -he called his surgeon a fool, brought forth a recriminating note to -me. It was from that maligned and incensed gentleman, and proved the -progenitor of a long series of communications of the same character; -a family likeness pervading them all. They generally commenced with -“Dr. —— presents his compliments to the chief matron,” continuing with -“Mrs. —— and I,” and ending with “you and him.” They were difficult to -understand, and more difficult to endure. Accustomed to be treated with -extreme deference and courtesy by the highest officials connected with -the government, moving in the same social grade I had always occupied -when beyond hospital bounds, the change was appalling. - - - _Wanted.—A Dose of Grammar._ - -The inundation of notes that followed for many months could not have -been sent back unopened, the last refuge under the circumstances, for -some of them might have related to the well-being of the sick. My pen -certainly was ready enough, but could I waste my thunderbolts in such -an atmosphere? - -The depreciated currency, which purchased only at fabulous prices -by this time; the poor pay the government (feeling the necessary of -keeping up the credit of its paper) gave to its officials; the natural -craving for luxuries that had been but common food before the war, -caused appeals to be made to me, sometimes for the applicant, oftener -for his sick wife or child, so constantly, that had I given even -one-tenth of the gifts demanded there would have been but little left -for my patients. - - - _Daily Trials._ - -It was hard to refuse, for the plea that it was not mine but merely -a charge confided to me, was looked upon as a pretext; outsiders -calculating upon the quantity issued to my department and losing sight -of the ownership of the quantity received. - -Half a dozen convalescent men would lose their tasteless dinner daily -at the steward’s table, and beg for “anything,” which would mean -turkey and oysters. Others “had been up all night and craved a cup -of coffee and a roll,” and as for diseases among commissioned and -non-commissioned men, caused by entire destitution of whiskey, and only -to be cured by it—their name was legion. Every pound of coffee, every -ounce of whiskey, bushel of flour or vegetables duly weighed before -delivery, was intended for its particular consumers; who, if they even -could not eat or drink what was issued for them watched their property -zealously, and claimed it too. So what had I to give away? - - - _The Ishmaelite._ - -The necessity of refusing the live-long day, forced upon naturally -generous tempers, makes them captious and uncivil, and under the -pressure the soft answer cannot be evoked to turn away wrath. Demands -would increase until they amounted to persecutions when the refusals -became the rule instead of the exception, and the breach thus made grew -wider day by day, until “my hand was against every man, and every man’s -hand against me.” - -Besides, there was little gratitude felt in a hospital, and certainly -none expressed. The mass of patients were uneducated men, who had lived -by the sweat of their brow, and gratitude is an exotic plant, reared -in a refined atmosphere, kept free from coarse contact and nourished -by unselfishness. Common natures look only with surprise at great -sacrifices and cunningly avail themselves of the benefits they bestow, -but give nothing in return,—not even the satisfaction of allowing the -giver to feel that the care bestowed has been beneficial; _that_ might -entail compensation of some kind, and in their ignorance they fear the -nature of the equivalent which might be demanded. - - - _Mrs. Marthy Brown’s Son._ - -Still, pleasant episodes often occurred to vary disappointments and -lighten duties. - -“Kin you writ me a letter?” drawled a whining voice from a bed in one -of the wards, a cold day in ’62. - -The speaker was an up-country Georgian, one of the kind called -“Goubers” by the soldiers generally; lean, yellow, attennuated, with -wispy strands of hair hanging over his high, thin cheek-bones. He put -out a hand to detain me and the nails were like claws. - -“Why do you not let the nurse cut your nails?” - -“Because I aren’t got any spoon, and I use them instead.” - -“Will you let me have your hair cut then? You can’t get well with all -that dirty hair hanging about your eyes and ears.” - -“No, I can’t git my hair cut, kase as how I promised my mammy that I -would let it grow till the war be over. Oh, it’s onlucky to cut it!” - -“Then I can’t write any letter for you. Do what I wish you to do, and -then I will oblige you.” - -This was plain talking. The hair was cut (I left the nails for another -day), my portfolio brought, and sitting by the side of his bed I waited -for further orders. They came with a formal introduction,—“for Mrs. -Marthy Brown.” - - - _A Circular Letter._ - -“My dear Mammy: - -“I hope this finds you well, as it leaves me well, and I hope that I -shall git a furlough Christmas, and come and see you, and I hope that -you will keep well, and all the folks be well by that time, as I hopes -to be well myself. This leaves me in good health, as I hope it finds -you and——” - -But here I paused, as his mind seemed to be going round in a circle, -and asked him a few questions about his home, his position during the -last summer’s campaign, how he got sick, and where his brigade was -at that time. Thus furnished with some material to work upon, the -latter proceeded rapidly. Four sides were conscientiously filled, for -no soldier would think a letter worth sending home that showed any -blank paper. Transcribing his name, the number of his ward and proper -address, so that an answer might reach him—the composition was read to -him. Gradually his pale face brightened, a sitting posture was assumed -with difficulty (for, in spite of his determined effort in his letter -“to be well,” he was far from convalescence). As I folded and directed -it, contributed the expected five-cent stamp, and handed it to him, he -gazed cautiously around to be sure there were no listeners. - - - _My First Proposal._ - -“Did you writ all that?” he asked, whispering, but with great emphasis. - -“Yes.” - -“Did _I_ say all that?” - -“I think you did.” - -A long pause of undoubted admiration—astonishment ensued. What was -working in that poor mind? Could it be that Psyche had stirred one of -the delicate plumes of her wing and touched that dormant soul? - -“Are you married?” The harsh voice dropped very low. - -“I am not. At least, I am a widow.” - -He rose still higher in bed. He pushed away desperately the tangled -hay on his brow. A faint color fluttered over the hollow cheek, and -stretching out a long piece of bone with a talon attached, he gently -touched my arm and with constrained voice whispered mysteriously: - -“You wait!” - -And readers, I _am_ waiting still; and I here caution the male portion -of creation who may adore through their mental powers, to respect my -confidence, and not seek to shake my constancy. - - - _Compliments._ - -Other compliments were paid me, perhaps not of so conclusive a nature, -and they were noticeable from their originality and novelty, but they -were also rare. Expression was not a gift among the common soldiers. -“You will wear them little feet away,” said a rough Kentuckian, -“running around so much. They ar’n’t much to boast of anyway.” Was not -this as complimentary as the lover who compared his mistress’s foot to -a dream; and much more comprehensible? - - - _More flattering than agreeable._ - -At intervals the lower wards, unused except in times of great need, for -they were unfurnished with any comforts, would be filled with rough -soldiers from camp, sent to recuperate after field service, who may -not have seen a female face for months; and though generally too much -occupied to notice them much, their partly concealed, but determined -regard would become embarrassing. One day, while directing arrangements -with a ward-master, my attention was attracted by the pertinacious -staring of a rough-looking Texan. He walked round and round me in -rapidly narrowing circles, examining every detail of my dress, face, -and figure; his eye never fixing upon any particular part for a moment -but traveling incessantly all over me. It seemed the wonder of the mind -at the sight of a new creation. I moved my position; he shifted his to -suit the new arrangement—again a change was made, so obviously to get -out of his range of vision, that with a delicacy of feeling that the -roughest men always treated me with, he desisted from his inspection so -far, that though his person made no movement, his neck twisted round to -accommodate his eyes, till I supposed some progenitor of his family had -been an owl. The men began to titter, and my patience became exhausted. - - - _Compliments again._ - -“What is the matter, my man? Did you never see a woman before?” - -“Jerusalem!” he ejaculated, not making the slightest motion towards -withdrawing his determined notice, “I never did see such a nice one. -Why, you’s as pretty as a pair of red shoes with green strings.” - -These were the two compliments laid upon the shrine of my vanity during -four years’ contact with thousands of patients, and I commit them to -paper to stand as a visionary portrait, to prove to my readers that -a woman with attractions similar to a pair of red shoes with green -strings must have some claim to the apple of Paris. - - ———— - - - _Love unto Death._ - -Scenes of pathos occurred daily—scenes that wrung the heart and forced -the dew of pity from the eyes; but feeling that enervated the mind and -relaxed the body was a sentimental luxury that was not to be indulged -in. There was too much work to be done, too much active exertion -required, to allow the mental or physical powers to succumb. They were -severely taxed each day. Perhaps they balanced, and so kept each other -from sinking. There was, indeed, but little leisure to sentimentalize, -the necessity for action being ever present. - -After the battle of Fredericksburg, while giving small doses of brandy -to a dying man, a low, pleasant voice, said “Madam.” It came from a -youth not over eighteen years of age, seeming very ill, but so placid, -with that earnest, far-away gaze, so common to the eyes of those who -are looking their last on this world. Does God in his mercy give a -glimpse of coming peace, past understanding, that we see reflected in -the dying eyes into which we look with such strong yearning to fathom -what they see? He shook his head in negative to all offers of food or -drink or suggestions of softer pillows and lighter covering. - -“I want Perry,” was his only wish. - -On inquiry I found that Perry was the friend and companion who marched -by his side in the field and slept next to him in camp, but of whose -whereabouts I was ignorant. Armed with a requisition from our surgeon, -I sought him among the sick and wounded at all the other hospitals. -I found him at Camp Jackson, put him in my ambulance, and on arrival -at my own hospital found my patient had dropped asleep. A bed was -brought and placed at his side, and Perry, only slightly wounded, laid -upon it. Just then the sick boy awoke wearily, turned over, and the -half-unconscious eye fixed itself. He must have been dreaming of the -meeting, for he still distrusted the reality. Illness had spiritualized -the youthful face; the transparent forehead, the delicate brow so -clearly defined, belonged more to heaven than earth. As he recognized -his comrade the wan and expressionless lips curved into the happiest -smile—the angel of death had brought the light of summer skies to that -pale face. “Perry,” he cried, “Perry,” and not another word, but with -one last effort he threw himself into his friend’s arms, the radiant -eyes closed, but the smile still remained—he was dead. - - - _The Silver Cord loosened._ - -There was but little sensibility exhibited by soldiers for the fate -of their comrades in field or hospital. The results of war are here -to-day and gone to-morrow. I stood still, spell-bound by that youthful -death-bed, when my painful revery was broken upon by a drawling voice -from a neighboring bed, which had been calling me by such peculiar -names or titles that I had been oblivious to whom they were addressed. - - - _A Sweet Pur-ta-a-tur-r._ - -“Look here. I say, Aunty!—Mammy!—You!” Then, in despair, -“Missus! Mauma! Kin you gim me sich a thing as a b’iled sweet -pur-r-rta-a-a-tu-ur? I b’long to the Twenty-secun’ Nor’ Ka-a-a-li-i-na -rigiment.” I told the nurse to remove his bed from proximity to his -dead neighbor, thinking that in the low state of his health from fever -the sight might affect his nerves, but he treated the suggestion with -contempt. - -“Don’t make no sort of difference to _me_; they dies all around _me_ in -the field—don’t trouble _me_.” - -The wounded men at this time began to make serious complaints that the -liquor issued did not reach them, and no vigilance on my part appeared -to check the improper appropriation of it, or lead to any discovery of -the thieves in the wards. There were many obstacles to be surmounted -before proper precautions could be taken. Lumber was so expensive -that closets in each ward were out of the question, and if made locks -could not be purchased for any amount of money. The liquor, therefore, -when it left my quarters, was open to any passer-by in the wards -who would watch his opportunity; so, although I had strong and good -reasons for excluding female nurses, the supposition that liquor would -be no temptation to them, and would be more apt to reach its proper -destination through their care, determined me to engage them. - -Unlucky thought, born in an evil hour! - - - _Sober Ladies wanted._ - -There were no lack of applications when the want was circulated, but -my choice hesitated between ladies of education and position, who I -knew would be willing to aid me, and the common class of respectable -servants. The latter suited best, because it was to be supposed they -would be more amenable to authority. They were engaged, and the -very sick wards divided among three of them. They were to keep the -bed-clothing in order, receive and dispense the liquor, carry any -delicacy in the way of food where it was most needed, and in fact do -anything reasonable that was requested. The last stipulation was dwelt -upon strongly. The next day my new corps were in attendance, and the -different liquors, beverages and stimulants delivered to them under the -black looks of the ward-masters. No. 1 received hers silently. She was -a cross-looking woman from North Carolina, painfully ugly, or rather -what is termed hard-featured, and apparently very taciturn; the last -quality rather an advantage. She had hardly left my kitchen when she -returned with all the drinks, and a very indignant face. - - - _Delicate Sensibilities._ - -In reply to inquiries made she proved her taciturnity was not chronic. -She asserted loudly that she was a decent woman, and “was not going -anywhere in a place where a man sat up on his bed in his shirt, and -the rest laughed—she knew they were laughing at her.” The good old -proverb that talking is silver but silence is gold had impressed itself -on my mind long before this, so I silently took her charge from her, -telling her that a hospital was no place for a person of her delicate -sensibilities, and at the same time holding up Miss G. and myself (who -were young enough to be her daughters), as examples for her imitation. - -She answered truly that we acted as we pleased and so would she; and -that was the last I saw of her. What her ideas of hospital life were I -never inquired, and shall never know. - - - _More of them._ - -No. 2 came briskly forward. She was a plausible, light-haired, -light-eyed and light-complexioned Englishwoman; very petite, with -a high nose. She had come to the hospital with seven trunks, which -ought to have been a warning to me, but she brought such strong -recommendations from responsible parties that they warped my judgment. -She received the last trust handed her—an open pitcher of hot -punch—with averted head, nose turned aside, and held it at arm’s length -with a high disdain mounted upon her high nose. Her excuse for this -antipathy was that the smell of liquor was “awful,” she “could not -a-bear it,” and “it turned her witals.” This was rather suspicious, but -we deferred judgment. - - - _Free and Equal American Servant Ladies._ - -Dinner was distributed. No. 2 appeared, composed, vigilant and -attentive to her duties, carrying her delicacies of food to her wards -with the assistance of the nurses. No. 3, an inoffensive woman did the -same, and all worked well. That afternoon, when I had retired to my -little sanctum to take the one hour’s rest that I allowed myself each -day undisturbed, Miss G. put her head in the door with an apprehensive -look and said, “the new matrons wished to see me.” They were admitted, -and my high-nosed friend, who had been elected spokeswoman it seems, -said after a few preliminaries, with a toss of her head and a couple of -sniffs that I “seemed to have made myself very comfortable.” - - - _Sociable Spittoon._ - -This was assented to graciously. She added that other people were -not, who were quite as much entitled to _style_. This also remained -undisputed, and then she stated her real grievance, that they “were -not satisfied, for I had not invited them to call upon me, or into -my room,” and “they considered themselves quite as much ladies as I -was.” I answered I was glad to hear it, and hoped they would always -act as ladies should, and in a way suitable to the title. There was -an evident desire on her part to say more, but she had not calculated -upon the style of reception, and therefore was thrown out beyond her -line of action, so she civilly requested me to call and inspect their -quarters that they were dissatisfied with. An hour later I did so, -and found them sitting around a sociable spittoon, with a friendly -box of snuff—dipping! I found it impossible to persuade them that -the government was alone responsible for their poor quarters, they -persisted in holding me answerable. - - - _Possession Nine and Half Points of Law._ - -The next day, walking through one of the wards under No. 2’s charge, -I found a part of the building, of about eight to ten feet square, -portioned off, a roughly improvised plank partition dividing this -temporary room from the rest of the ward. Seated comfortably therein -was the new matron, entrenched among her trunks. A neat table and -comfortable chair, abstracted from my few kitchen appurtenances, -added to her comforts. Choice pieces of crockery, remnants of more -luxurious times, that had at one time adorned my shelves, were disposed -tastefully around, and the drinks issued by me for the patients were -conveniently placed at her elbow. She explained that she kept them -there to prevent thefts. Perhaps the nausea communicated from their -neighborhood had tinted the high nose higher, and there was a defiant -look about her, as if she sniffed the battle afar. - -It was very near though, and had to be fought, however disagreeable, so -I instantly entered into explanations, short, but polite. Each patient -being allowed, by law, a certain number of feet, every inch taken -therefrom was so much ventilation lost, and the abstraction of as much -space as she had taken for illegal purposes was a serious matter, and -conflicted with the rules that governed the hospital. Besides this, no -woman was allowed to stay in the wards, for obvious reasons. - -No. 2, however, was a sensible person, for she did not waste _her_ -breath in talking; she merely held her position. An appeal made by me -to the surgeon of the ward did not result favorably; he said I had -engaged her, she belonged to my corps, and was under my supervision: so -I sent for the steward. - - - _Vi et Armis._ - -The steward of a hospital cannot define exactly what his duties are, -the difficulty being to find out what they are not. Whenever it has to -be decided who has to fill a disagreeable office, the choice invariably -falls upon the steward. So a message was sent to his quarters to -request him to compel No. 2 to evacuate her hastily improvised -premises. He hesitated long, but engaging at last the services of his -assistant, a broad-shouldered fighting character, proceeded to eject -the new tenant. - -He commenced operations by polite explanations; but they were met in a -startling manner. She arose and rolled up her sleeves, advancing upon -him as he receded down the ward. The sick and wounded men roared with -laughter, cheering her on, and she remained mistress of the field. -Dinner preparations served as an interlude and silently suppressed, she -as usual made her entrée into the kitchen, received the drinks for her -ward and vanished. Half an hour elapsed and then the master of the ward -in which she had domiciled herself made his report to me, and recounted -a pitiful tale. He was a neat quiet manager, and usually kept his -quarters beautifully clean. No. 2, he said, divided the dinner, and -whenever she came across a bone in hash or stew, or indeed anything -therein displeased her, she took it in her fingers and dashed it upon -the floor. With so little to make a hospital gay, this peculiar episode -was a god-send to the soldiers, and indeed to all the lookers on. The -surgeons stood laughing, in groups, the men crowded to the windows of -the belligerent power, and a _coup-d’etat_ became necessary. - - - _Spirit of ’63._ - -“Send me the carpenter!” I felt the spirit of Boadicea. The man stepped -up; he had always been quiet, civil and obedient. - -“Come with me into Ward E.” - -A few steps took us there. - -“Knock down that partition and carry away those boards.” It was _un -fait accompli_. - -But the victory was not gained, only the fortifications stormed and -taken, for almost hidden by flying splinters and dust, No. 2 sat among -her seven trunks enthroned like Rome upon her seven hills. - - - _Not “A Ministering Angel, Thou.”_ - -The story furnishes no further interest, but the result was very -annoying. She was put into my ambulance very drunk by this time and -sent away, her trunks sent after her. The next day, neatly dressed, -she managed to get an interview with the medical director, enlisted -his sympathy by a plausible appeal and description of her desolate -condition. “A refugee,” or “refewgee,” as she called herself, “trying -to make her living decently,” and receiving an order to report at our -hospital, was back there by noon. Explanations had to be written, and -our surgeon-in-chief to interfere with his authority, before we could -get rid of her. - - - _Work._ - -About this time (April, 1863), an attack on Drewry’s Bluff, which -guarded Richmond on the James river side, was expected, and it was -made before the hospital was in readiness to receive the wounded. The -cannonading could be heard distinctly in the city, and dense smoke -descried rising from the battle-field. The Richmond people had been too -often, if not through the wars at least within sight and hearing of its -terrors, to feel any great alarm. - -The inhabitants lying in groups, crowded the eastern brow of the -hill above Rocketts and the James river; overlooking the scene, and -discussing the probable results of the struggle; while the change from -the dull, full boom of the cannon to the sharp rattle of musketry could -be easily distinguished. The sun was setting amidst stormy, purple -clouds; and when low upon the horizon sent long slanting rays of yellow -light from beneath them, athwart the battle scene, throwing it in -strong relief. The shells burst in the air above the fortifications at -intervals, and with the aid of glasses dark blue masses of uniforms -could be distinguished, though how near the scene of action could -not be discerned. About eight o’clock the slightly wounded began to -straggle in with a bleeding hand, or contused arm or head, bound up in -any convenient rag. - -Their accounts were meagre, for men in the ranks never know anything -about general results—they almost always have the same answer ready, -“We druv ’em nowhere.” - -In another half-hour, vehicles of all kinds crowded in, from a -wheelbarrow to a stretcher, and yet no orders had been sent me to -prepare for the wounded. Few surgeons had remained in the hospital; -the proximity to the field tempting them to join the ambulance -committee, or ride to the scene of action; and the officer of the day, -left in charge, naturally objected to my receiving a large body of -suffering men with no arrangements made for their comfort, and but few -in attendance. I was preparing to leave for my home at the Secretary -of the Navy, where I returned every night, when the pitiful sight of -the wounded in ambulances, furniture wagons, carts, carriages, and -every kind of vehicle that could be impressed detained me. To keep -them unattended to, while being driven from one full hospital to -another, entailed unnecessary suffering, and the agonized outcry of a -desperately wounded man to “take him in, for God’s sake, or kill him,” -decided me to countermand the order of the surgeon in charge that -“they must be taken elsewhere, as we had no accommodations prepared.” -I sent for him, however. He was a kind-hearted, indolent man, but -efficient in his profession, and a gentleman; and seeing my extreme -agitation, tried to reason with me, saying our wards were full, except -a few vacant and unused ones, which our requisitions had failed to -furnish with proper bedding and blankets. Besides, a large number of -the surgeons were absent, and the few left would not be able to attend -to all the wounds at that late hour of the night. I proposed in reply -that the convalescent men should be placed on the floor on blankets, -or bed-sacks filled with straw, and the wounded take their place, and, -purposely construing his silence into consent, gave the necessary -orders, eagerly offering my services to dress simple wounds, and -extolling the strength of my nerves. - - - _First Essay._ - -He let me have my way (may _his_ ways be of pleasantness and his paths -of peace), and so, giving Miss G. orders to make an unlimited supply of -coffee, tea, and stimulants, armed with lint, bandages, castile soap, -and a basin of warm water, I made my first essays in the surgical line. -I had been spectator often enough to be skillful. The first object that -needed my care was an Irishman. He was seated upon a bed with his hands -crossed, wounded in both arms by the same bullet. The blood was soon -washed away, wet lint applied, and no bones being broken, the bandages -easily arranged. - -“I hope that I have not hurt you much,” I said with some trepidation. -“These are the first wounds that I ever dressed.” - -“Sure they be the most illegant pair of hands that ever touched me, and -the lightest,” he gallantly answered. “And I am all right now.” - - - _Results._ - -From bed to bed till long past midnight, the work continued. -Fractured limbs were bathed, washed free from blood and left to the -surgeon to set. The men were so exhausted by forced marches, lying -in entrenchments and loss of sleep that few even awoke during the -operations. If aroused to take nourishment or stimulant they received -it with closed eyes, and a speedy relapse into unconsciousness. The -next morning, but few had any recollection of the events of the night -previous. - -There were not as many desperate wounds among the soldiers brought in -that night as usual. Strange to say, the ghastliness of wounds varied -much in the different battles, perhaps from the nearness or distance of -contending parties. One man was an exception and enlisted my warmest -sympathy. He was a Marylander although serving in a Virginia company. -There was such strength of resignation in his calm blue eye. - - - _Where the Weary are at Rest._ - -“Can you give me a moment?” he said. - -“What shall I do for you?” - -“Give me some drink to revive me, that I do not die before the surgeon -can attend to me.” - -His pulse was strong but irregular, and telling him that a stimulant -might induce fever, and ought only to be administered with a doctor’s -prescription, I inquired where was he wounded. - -Right through the body. Alas! - -The doctor’s dictum was, “No hope: give him anything he asks for;” but -five days and nights I struggled against this decree, fed my patient -with my own hands, using freely from the small store of brandy in my -pantry and cheering him by words and smiles. The sixth morning on my -entrance he turned an anxious eye on my face, the hope had died out -of his, for the cold sweat stood in beads there, useless to dry, so -constantly were they renewed. - - - “An only Son, and my Mother a widow.” - -What comfort could I give? Only silently open the Bible, and read to -him without comment the ever-living promises of his Maker. Glimpses -too of that abode where the “weary are at rest.” Tears stole down his -cheek, but he was not comforted. - -“I am an only son,” he said, “and my mother is a widow. Go to her, if -you ever get to Baltimore, and tell her that I died in what I consider -the defense of civil rights and liberties. I may be wrong. God alone -knows. Say how kindly I was nursed, and that I had all I needed. I -cannot thank you, for I have no breath, but we will meet up there.” He -pointed upward and closed his eyes, that never opened again upon this -world. - - ———— - - - _Home Cares and Affections._ - -Earlier than this, while hospitals were still partly unorganized, -soldiers were brought in from camp or field, and placed in divisions -of them, irrespective of rank or state; but soon the officers had more -comfortable quarters provided apart from the privates, and separate -divisions were also appropriated to men from different sections of the -country. - -There were so many good reasons for this change that explanations -are hardly necessary. Chief among them, was the ease through which, -under this arrangement, a man could be found quickly by reference -to the books of each particular division. Schedules of where the -patients of each State were quartered were published in the daily -papers, and besides the materials furnished by government, States, and -associations, were thus enabled to send satisfactory food and clothing -for private distribution. Thus immense contributions, coming weekly -from these sources, gave great aid, and enabled us to have a reserved -store when government supplies failed. - -To those cognizant of these facts, it appeared as if the non-fighting -people of the Confederacy had worked as hard and exercised as much -self-denial as the soldiers in the field. There was an indescribable -pathos lurking at times at the bottom of these heterogeneous home -boxes, put up by anxious wives, mothers and sisters; a sad and -mute history shadowed forth by the sight of rude, coarse homespun -pillow-cases or pocket handkerchiefs, adorned even amid the turmoil of -war and poverty of means with an attempt at a little embroidery, or a -simple fabrication of lace for trimming. - - - _If not my Son—then another Mother’s._ - -The silent tears dropped over these tokens will never be sung in song -or told in story. The little loving expedients to conceal the want -of means which each woman resorted to, thinking that if her loved -one failed to benefit by the result, other mothers might reap the -advantage, is a history in itself. - -Piles of sheets, the cotton carded and spun in the one room at home -where the family perhaps lived, ate, and slept in the backwoods -of Georgia; bales of blankets called so by courtesy, but only the -drawing-room carpets, the pride of the heart of thrifty housewives, -perhaps their only extravagance in better days, but now cut up for -field use. Dozens of pillow slips, not of the coarse product of the -home loom, which would be too harsh for the cheek of the invalid, -but of the fine bleached cotton of better days, suggesting personal -clothing sacrificed to the sick. Boxes of woolen shirts, like Joseph’s -many-colored coat, created from almost every dressing-gown or flannel -skirt in the country. - - - _Sacred feelings and bad grammar._ - -A thousand evidences of the loving care and energetic labor of the -poor, patient ones at home, telling an affecting story that knocked -hard at the gates of the heart, were the portals ever so firmly closed; -and with all these came letters written by poor ignorant ones who often -had no knowledge of how such communications should be addressed. - -These letters, making inquiries concerning patients from anxious -relatives at home, directed oftener to my office than my name, came -in numbers, and were queer mixtures of ignorance, bad grammar, worse -spelling and simple feeling. However absurd the style, the love that -filled them chastened and purified them. Many are stored away, and -though irresistibly ludicrous, are too sacred to print for public -amusement. - -In them could be detected the prejudices of the different sections. -One old lady in upper Georgia wrote a pathetic appeal for a furlough -for her son. She called me “My dear sir,” while still retaining my -feminine address, and though expressing the strongest desire for her -son’s restoration to health, entreated in moving accents that if his -life could not be saved, that he should not be buried in “Ole Virginny -_dirt_,”—rather a derogatory term to apply to the sacred soil that gave -birth to the presidents—the soil of the Old Dominion. - - - _Sad letters._ - -Almost all of these letters told the same sad tale of destitution of -food and clothing, even shoes of the roughest kind being either too -expensive for the mass or unattainable by the expenditure of any sum, -in many parts of the country. For the first two years of the war, -privations were lightly dwelt upon and courageously borne, but when -want and suffering pressed heavily as times grew more stringent, there -was a natural longing for the stronger heart and frame to bear part -of the burden. Desertion is a crime that meets generally with as much -contempt as cowardice, and yet how hard for the husband or father to -remain inactive in winter quarters, knowing that his wife and little -ones were literally starving at home—not even _at home_, for few homes -were left. - - - _Virginians._ - -Our hospital had till now (the summer of 1863), been appropriated to -the Gulf States, when an order was issued to transfer and make it -entirely Virginian. The cause of this change was unknown, but highly -agreeable, for the latter were the very best class of men in the -field; intelligent, manly, and reasonable, with more civilized tastes -and some desire to conform to rules that were conducive to their -health. Besides this, they were a hardier race, and were more inclined -to live than die,—a very important taste in a hospital,—so that when -the summer campaigns were over, the wards would be comparatively empty. -The health of the army improved wonderfully after the first year’s -exposure had taught them to take proper precautions, and they had -become accustomed to the roughnesses of field life. Time was given me, -by this lightening of heretofore strenuous duties, to seek around and -investigate the mysteries of the arrangements of other hospitals beside -my own, and see how my neighbors managed their responsibilities. While -on the search for material for improvement, I found a small body of -Marylanders, who, having had no distinct refuge awarded them, were sent -wherever circumstances made it convenient to lodge them. - - - _Antagonism._ - -There had been, from the breaking out of the war, much petty criticism, -privately and publicly expressed, concerning the conduct and position -of the Marylanders who had thrown their fortunes in the Confederate -scale, and a great deal of ill-feeling engendered. Sister States have -never been amicable, but it was not until my vocation drew my attention -to the fact that I became aware of the antagonism existing. The -Virginians complained that the Marylanders had come south to install -themselves in the comfortable clerkships, and to take possession of the -lazy places, while those filling them defended their position on the -ground that efficient men were required in the departments, as well as -the field, and that their superior capacity as clerks was recognized -and rewarded without any desire, on their part, to shun field duty. -They were unfortunate, as they labored under the disadvantage of -harboring, as reputed fellow citizens, every gambler, speculator or -vagabond, who, anxious to escape military duty, managed to procure, in -some way, exemption papers proving him a native of their so-considered -neutral State. An adverse feeling towards them, report said, -extended even to the hospitals through which they were scattered, -and I endeavored long, but unsuccessfully, to induce Dr. Moore (the -Confederate surgeon-general), to inaugurate some building for their -use. He was averse to any arrangement of this kind, not from prejudice, -but a conviction of the expense and trouble of small establishments of -this nature. - -Not succeeding I made a personal application to the surgeon-in-chief of -my own establishment, to allow me to appropriate a certain number of my -own wards to them, and with the ready courtesy he always accorded me, -he immediately gave consent. - - - _The wicked Marylanders._ - -In the decided objections of surgeons generally to taking charge of -Marylanders there was an element more amusing than offensive, and the -dismay of the head of our hospital when he heard of my arrangements was -ludicrous in the extreme, and our opinions hardly reconcilable from our -different standpoints. To a woman there was a touch of romance in the -self-denial exercised, the bravery displayed and the hardships endured -by a body of men, who were fighting for what was to them an abstract -question, as far as they were concerned. - -No one with any reasoning powers could suppose that Maryland in event -of success could ever become a sister State of the confederacy. -Then the majority of them were very young men, who, well born, well -nurtured and wealthy, accustomed too to all the luxuries of life, -served then, and even to the end as privates, when less deserving men -who had commenced their career in the ranks had made interest and -risen, as much through political favor as personal bravery. Luxuries -received from other States for their soldiers, which though trifling -in themselves were so gratifying to their recipients could not come -to them; the furlough, that El Dorado to the sick soldier, was the -gold which could not be grasped, for there was no home that could be -reached. Even letters, those electric conductors from heart to heart, -came sparingly after long detention, often telling of the loss of the -beloved at home, months after the grave had closed upon them. - - - _Troublesome Customers._ - -In antagonism to these ideas were the strong objections of our head -surgeon to this arrangement of mine, and they too were reasonable. The -fact of there being an unusual amount of intelligence and independence -among these men made them more difficult to manage, as they were less -submissive to orders. They were aware of how much they were entitled -to, in food, surgical and medical attendance and general comfort; and -were not afraid to speak loudly and openly of neglect towards them or -of incapacity in their rulers, so that whether ragged, helpless or sick -they bore a striking resemblance to Hans Andersen’s leather soldier. -That historical personage, though lame in the leg, minus an arm and -eye, with a mashed head, all the gilt rubbed off of his back and lying -in a gutter, held his own opinion and gave it on all occasions. The -result of this was that there existed a pretty general objection to -them as patients, as they were, to say the least, awkward customers. I -might whisper an aside very low and confidential of sick men who should -have followed the good old wholesome rule of “early to bed and early to -rise” taking their physic obediently in the morning, but disappearing -at night,—“dew in the morning and mist at night,”—and I might also -tell of passes altered and furloughs lengthened when there was no -fighting going on, all very wicked, but certainly nothing unmanly or -dishonorable. They never lingered around when honor called, and their -record needs no additional tribute from my humble pen. When sectional -feelings shall have died away and a fair narration of the Confederate -struggle be written, they will find their laurel leaves fresh and green. - - - _Good Wine needs no Bush._ - -But to return to domestic details. My new wards were prepared, freshly -whitewashed, and adorned with cedar boughs for the reception of the old -line Maryland cavalry, and during their sojourn I experienced to its -fullest extent the pleasure of ministering to the wants of grateful and -satisfied soldiers. They brightened a short interval of laborious and -harassing labors that lasted over four years, and left a sunny spot -for memory to dwell on. After their departure many more of their State -came, generally infantry, and difficulties still continued. It was -impossible to give them their due share of attention, so great was the -feeling of jealousy existing. If an invalid required special attention, -and he proved to be a Marylander, though perhaps ignorant myself of -the fact, many eyes watched me, and complaints were made to the nurses, -and from them to the surgeons, till a report of partiality to them on -my part made to the surgeon-in-chief, called forth a remonstrance on -his part, and a request that all patients should be treated alike. -Then came an unpleasant season of bickering and dissatisfaction, so -that fearing I might be to blame in part, I studiously at last avoided -inquiring to what corps a man belonged. - - - _Annoyances._ - -A courier of General A. P. Hill’s, very badly wounded, had been -invalided for some time, and desirous of offering him some inducement -to bear his fate more patiently, I had invited him to dine in my -office, as soon as he could use his crutches. An invitation of this -kind was often extended to men similarly situated; not that there were -delicacies retained in my kitchen that did not reach the wards, but the -request was a courtesy, and the food would be hot from the fire, and -more comfortably served. Unfortunately he was a Marylander, and that -some adverse report had been made was proved by an order attached to my -window during the day, explaining that no patient would be permitted -to enter the matron’s department under any circumstances, on penalty -of punishment. This was uncalled-for and galling, so I pulled it down -first, and then carried my complaint to the surgeon-in-chief. - - - _Woman’s wit wins._ - -No one ever applied to him in vain for either justice or courtesy. -He naturally was unwilling to countermand this order positively, but -told me significantly that although the hospital was to a certain -extent under the control of the surgeon in charge, and subject to his -orders, the private rooms, as well as kitchen and laundry attached -to the matron’s department were under my management. As a woman will -naturally sacrifice her comfort, convenience, pleasure, and privacy to -have her own way, the result must be evident. My sleeping-room became -a dining-room, and for the future I made what use of it I pleased, -returning every night to my quarters at the Secretary’s. - - - _The Flesh-Pots of Egypt._ - -The next annoyance was the disappearance of all the Maryland patients; -their wards being found empty one morning, and “no man living could -tell where they had gone.” However, when the flesh-pots of the -forsaken land were steaming at dinner-time, a small group revealed -themselves of the missing tribes, and clustered around my window with -cup and plate. They belonged to the infantry, and seemed unable to -bear their exile. This continued for a couple of days, the applicants -increasing at each meal, till a second visit to Dr. M. with a -representation of the impossibility of feeding men for whom no rations -had been drawn brought about a rescinding of the order for their exile, -and from that time they and all of their corps who came to me were -unmolested. - - ———— - - - _Anxieties._ - -Feminine sympathy being much more demonstrative than masculine, -particularly when compared with a surgeon’s unresponsiveness, who -inured to the aspects of suffering, has more control over his -professional feelings, the nurses often summoned me when only the -surgeon was needed. One very cold night the same year, 1863, when -sleeping at my hospital rooms, an answer was made to my demand as to -who was knocking and what was wanted. The nurse from the nearest ward -said, something was wrong with Fisher. Instructing him to find the -doctor immediately and hastily getting on some clothing I hurried to -the scene, for Fisher was an especial favorite. He was quite a young -man, of about twenty years of age, who had been wounded ten months -previously very severely, high up on the leg near the hip, and who -by dint of hard nursing, good food and plenty of stimulant had been -given a fair chance for recovery. The bones of the broken leg had -slipped together, then lapped, and nature anxious as she always is to -help herself had thrown a ligature across, uniting the severed parts; -but after some time the side curved out, and the wounded leg was many -inches shorter than its fellow. He had been the object of sedulous -care on the part of all—surgeons, ward-master, nurse and matron, and -the last effort made to assist him was by the construction of an -open cylinder of pasteboard, made in my kitchen, of many sheets of -coarse brown paper, cemented together with very stiff paste, and baked -around the stove-pipe. This was to clasp by its own prepared curve -the deformed hip, and be a support for it when he was able to use his -crutches. - - - _No Hope in this World._ - -He had remained through all his trials, stout, fresh and hearty, -interesting in appearance, and so gentle-mannered and uncomplaining -that we all loved him. Supported on his crutches he had walked up and -down his ward for the first time since he was wounded, and seemed -almost restored. That same night he turned over and uttered an -exclamation of pain. - -Following the nurse to his bed, and turning down the covering, a small -jet of blood spurted up. The sharp edge of the splintered bone must -have severed an artery. I instantly put my finger on the little orifice -and awaited the surgeon. He soon came—took a long look and shook his -head. The explanation was easy; the artery was imbedded in the fleshy -part of the thigh and could not be taken up. No earthly power could -save him. - -There was no object in detaining Dr. ——. He required his time and his -strength, and long I sat by the boy, unconscious himself that any -serious trouble was apprehended. The hardest trial of my duty was laid -upon me; the necessity of telling a man in the prime of life, and -fullness of strength that there was no hope for him. - - - _Dead._ - -It was done at last, and the verdict received patiently and -courageously, some directions given by which his mother would be -informed of his death, and then he turned his questioning eyes upon my -face. - -“How long can I live?” - -“Only as long as I keep my finger upon this artery.” A pause ensued. -God alone knew what thoughts hurried through that heart and brain, -called so unexpectedly from all earthly hopes and ties. He broke the -silence at last. - -“You can let go—” - -But I could not. Not if my own life had trembled in the balance. Hot -tears rushed to my eyes, a surging sound to my ears, and a deathly -coldness to my lips. The pang of obeying him was spared me, and for -the first and last time during the trials that surrounded me for four -years, I fainted away. - - ———— - - - _State Peculiarities and Differences._ - -No words can do justice to the uncomplaining nature of the Southern -soldier. Whether it arose from resignation or merely passive -submission, yet when shown in the aggregate in a hospital, it was -sublime. Day after day, whether lying wasted by disease or burning up -with fever, torn with wounds or sinking from debility, a groan was -seldom heard. The wounded wards would be noisily gay with singing, -laughing, fighting battles o’er and o’er again, and playfully chaffing -each other by decrying the troops from different States, each man -applauding his own. When listening to them one would suppose that the -whole Southern army with the exception of a few companies from the -speaker’s section of country, were cowards. The up-country soldiers, -born in the same States as those they derided, went even further -and decried “them fellows from the seaboard, who let us do all the -fighting.” The Georgians would romance of how the South Carolinians -laid down at such a battle, refusing to charge, and how they had to -“charge right over them.” The Mississippians of the backwardness of the -Tennessee troops, who “would never go into action unless led by their -commanding general.” The Virginians told bitter stories of the rowdyism -of the Maryland volunteers, who were “always spreeing it in the city, -and dancing attendance on the women,” and the North Carolinians caught -it on all sides, though their record is undoubtedly a most gallant one. - - - _Tar-Heel Tastes._ - -Taken in the mass, the last were certainly most forlorn specimens, -and their drawl was insufferable. Besides, they never under any -circumstances would give me the satisfaction of hearing that they -relished or even ate any food that was issued from my kitchen. “Say, -can I have some sweet soup?” whined a voice from one bed, and “Look -here, can I have some sour soup?” came from another. The sweet soup -upon explanation proved to be stirred custard; the sour a mystery until -the receipt was given. “You jist put a crock of buttermilk on the fire, -and let it come to a bile; then mix up the yaller of an egg with some -corn flour to make a paste; then punch off pieces of the dough, and -bile them with the soup; with lots of pepper and salt.” The buttermilk -when so tested by heat resolved itself into a sea of whey with a hard -ball of curds in the center. I carried the saucepan to his bedside to -show the results of his culinary directions; but he merely shook his -head and remarked carelessly that “his mammy’s soup did not look like -that.” - - - _Babies even give up Milk._ - -Many would not eat unless furnished with food to which they had been -accustomed at home, and as unreasoning as brutes resisted nutriment -and thus became weaker day after day; and whatever was new to the eye -or palate was received suspiciously. Liquids in the form of soups, -tea or coffee they turned from with disgust, so that the ordinary -diet of invalids was inefficient in their case. Buttermilk seemed -especially created by nature for wounded patients; they craved it with -a drunkard’s thirst, and great, strong men have turned away from all -else and implored a drink of sweet milk. We had a very short supply of -this towards the end of the war, and I remember a stalwart Kentuckian, -one of Morgan’s men, insisting upon the rare luxury of one cupfull. He -had been for many months on a raid far out of Confederate limits, and -returning slightly wounded, had no idea of the scarcity of forage that -made our cows so dry. His pleading became really affecting, till at -last rallying, I told him: “Why man! the very babies of the Confederacy -have given up drinking milk, and here are you, six feet two, crying -for it.” - - - _Our Little Romance._ - -Little poetical effusions were often thrust under my cabin door, -and also notes of all kinds from my patients. Among them one day -was a well-written and worded request from a young man who had been -indisposed with that most hateful of all annoyances to soldiers—the -itch; that shirt of Nessus, which when once attached to the person -clings there pertinaciously. It begged me when at leisure to give him -an interview, telling me his ward, name, and bed. He proved to be -educated, and a gentleman from the upper part of Alabama, which had -been colonized by the best class of South Carolinians; and he wished -to enlist any influence I might possess in his favor, to endeavor to -get him a furlough. His story was interesting. Engaged to a young -girl, the preparations made, the ring even bought (he wore it next his -heart), and the marriage day fixed, they heard the first rumors of war, -and patriotism urging him to enlist, the parents of his sweetheart -naturally refused to allow him to consummate the engagement until peace -was restored. The desire to see her again became almost unbearable, -and feeling sincere sympathy with him, and the hardship of the case, -I tried but in vain to have him furloughed. The campaign of 1864 had -opened and every man was needed in the field. - - - _Loved and Lost._ - -The finale of my story is a sad one, as are almost all stories in time -of war. He was killed while repelling with his brigade the attack on -Petersburg, and the little history confided to me resolved itself into -a romance one night, that found shape and form: - - - “ICH HABE GELEBT UND GELIEBT.” - - The bride’s robe is ready, the bridesmaids are bid, - The groom clasps the circlet, so cautiously hid; - For a home is now waiting a mistress to claim - A lover, a wife, for his house, heart and name. - There is peace in the homestead and mirth in the hall— - The steed idly stands at his rack in the stall, - The whole land is teeming with prosperous life, - For lost are all memories of carnage and strife. - With rich golden harvest the ripe hills are blest, - And God’s providence stands revealed and confessed. - - * * * * * - - No priest blessed that union, no ring wed that hand; - With anger and discord soon rang the whole land; - Through all its wide domains the dread tidings rang - Of bloodshed. The lover was first in the van. - “My own one! I leave thee, those dear arms unfold. - Wouldst wed with the timid—the doubtful—the cold? - No union could bless till our country be free, - So onward for liberty, glory—and thee!” - - * * * * * - - Right bravely fought he till sunlight lying low - Discovered a field that had left him no foe; - But when in the flush of a victory gained, - Deep in dreams of his love—his honor unstained, - He wended his way to the home of his heart - From her side ne’er to swerve, from her love ne’er to part, - Hast’ning on with his tidings he knew she would prize— - His heart on his lips and his soul in his eyes; - Laid low by a shot courage could not repel - At the feet of a mightier victor—he fell! - And the bride that he left? What needs it to say - Her doom was a woman’s,—to watch, wait and pray. - The heat of the struggle nerves man for the strife, - But bitter at home is her battle of life, - When far from the conflict, unheeded, alone, - Her brain in a flame, but her heart like a stone, - She patiently waits to hear _one_ life is won, - Or silently prays to say—_His_ will be done! - - ———— - - - _The Conquering Hero comes again._ - -The whiskey barrel, as I have said before, and suppose I shall often -say again, had been a bone of contention from the beginning, and as it -afterward proved, continued so to the end. Liquor commanded an enormous -price in Dixie, and often if its lovers had the means to procure it, -the opportunity was wanting, as the hospital was some distance from -Richmond. When first installed in my office, the desire to conciliate, -and the belief that men generally had some conscience even on the -whiskey question led me to yield to urgent solicitations for it from -many quarters; but the demands increased fearfully upon any concession. -A reference to Dr. M. about this matter settled the heretofore open -question. The doctor said the liquor was intended exclusively for -the use of patients, and should only be used through a prescription -accompanied by a written order. Also that I was personally responsible -for the quantity confided to my care, and must each month produce the -surgeon’s receipts to balance with the number of gallons drawn from the -medical purveyor. There were at different times half a dozen surgeons -and officials around, who absolutely made my life wretched by their -importunities, and yet who could not be sent away except by preferring -charges against them, and proving those charges; for my hospital was a -military organization. I did not feel inclined to brave the publicity -of preferred charges, for I seemed to have no recognized rank, and if -even I could prove them, the complaints made would be ludicrously -petty in detail, though distracting as mosquito bites in the aggregate. - - - _Rats—Hopeless Inebriates._ - -The modes adopted to outflank me were named “legion.” Some of them -can be recalled. A quart bottle of whiskey would be ordered by the -officer of the day for each ward, for night use, so that it would be -ready at hand should any of the patients need this stimulant during the -night. The next morning, on inquiry being made, there had been no case -requiring its use, but the bottles would be empty, and expostulation -on my part be met with explanations that the rats (who were a very -plague), had knocked all the bottles over. On refusing to honor any -more demands of the same kind, not believing in the rat story, the -surgeon in charge would be appealed to, hear all sides, and favor none. -This was just what I anticipated and wanted, for having, for the first -few months of my occupation, lived in a state of active terror for -fear of violating rules, however injurious the results of obeying, I -recompensed myself from that time till the end of my sojourn by acting -exactly as I thought right, braving the consequences, and preferring -to be attacked to attacking. - - - _What Constitutes a Lady?_ - -One mode of annoying me was particularly offensive—sending a negro boy -with a cup and a simple request for whiskey, as if it was the most -natural act in the world. At first a polite refusal would be written, -but if this mode should have been persevered in, a private secretary -would have been necessary; so in time it was replaced by a curt “No.” -A few minutes later the boy would again stand before me with the -same message, and this would occur half a dozen times consecutively. -I did not believe in vicarious punishment, so could not make the -messenger responsible—he was compelled to obey; and sometimes, stung -to irritation by this senseless pertinacity, I would write a note to -the offending party, brief but sharp. The reply would be the same silly -question I so often had to meet: “Did Mrs. —— consider herself a lady -when she wrote such notes?” “No,” was always the indignant answer. -“How could she be, when brought into contact with such elements?” It -was strange, with so little outward self-assertion, always dressed in -Georgia homespun, often the worse for wear, leather shoes, worsted -gloves, and half the time with a skillet or coffee-pot in my hands, -that all the common element around me should contest my right to a -title to which I never aspired in words. - -This fact, which must have been patent to them from the active -persecution it entailed, seemed to be a crying grievance. My life at -my hospital quarters when relieved from care for the patients was -exclusive, from habit, inclination and prudence. Living a great part of -my time away from all intercourse with my own sex, in a solitude that -was unbroken after dark, it was better that no intimacies should be -formed and no preferences shown; and in an exposed position where Argus -eyes were always watching, a woman could not be too careful. - - - _The Hero again._ - -But still the wars of the whiskey barrel continued. One day the men -of one of the distant wards sent for me in the absence of their -ward-master, and complained that the liquor issued for them never -reached them. All concurred in this report, and said the champagne -bottles in which it was kept were hid behind a certain vacant bed, -from whence they would be abstracted that night. A search on -my part brought them to light, still full, although the hour of -administering had long past. The ward-master was summoned, the full -bottles exhibited, and expressing my surprise at the inhumanity and -dishonesty of one I had heretofore thought so honest, I warned him of -the consequences that would result to him. His protestations were so -earnest that he never tasted liquor, that I could not disbelieve him. -What then had “become of the quantity issued, had he sold it?” - -The charge was met by indignant surprise, and then the truth began to -dawn upon me. That he had been false to his charge and his patients was -true, if even he had not been guilty of taking it, and I warned him -that on my representing the matter to the proper authorities he would -be sent to the field. An hour after this conversation the surgeon of -his ward entered my office with belligerent aspect. - - - _Military Law Declared._ - -“Did you assert, Madam, that you intended sending my ward-master to the -field?” - -“I said I intended laying the facts concerning the disappearance of -the liquor before the proper authorities.” - -“I consider myself responsible, Madam, for the liquor used in my wards.” - -“If you do, you fail to be sure that it reaches its destination, so I -intend in future to see that it does.” - -“If you mean that my ward-master drinks it, you are mistaken; he does -not take any stimulant.” - -“I know he does not,” I answered quietly, “and I also know who does.” - -He changed color, and passing him I walked into my little sanctum -adjoining the office. To my astonishment he kicked back the door and -also entered. - -“Doctor, this is my private room,” I said, “to which no one is -admitted. Be kind enough to leave.” - -“Not until you explain,” he answered, throwing himself at full length -upon the couch. - -This was just far enough for him to venture. I threw back my window, -and called to the sentry to order up a sergeant and file of the guard. -In a few minutes the ring of their muskets outside sounded, and taking -out my watch, I placed it on the table by him. - - - _Five Minutes’ Grace._ - -“I will give you five minutes,” I said, “to leave my room. If you are -not gone by that time, commissioned officer as you are, and gentleman -as you ought to be, I will have you taken to the guard-house, and then -explain this matter to the surgeon-general.” - -He waited a minute or two, soliloquizing audibly that I must fancy -myself the Secretary of War, and he would make me know my position, but -soon made up his mind that discretion was the better part of valor, and -left. Proper measures were no doubt taken to punish such conduct, for -though I made no complaint, there were no secrets in a hospital, and -after a few weeks he disappeared, sent no doubt to that Botany Bay—“the -front.” He took a gallant leave of his associates, hinting that his -talents demanded a wider field of action than a hospital. - -But the tables were about to be turned. Not forever would I be allowed -to carry war into the enemy’s country, or be the sole defender of -that friend by whom I had stood so gallantly. The whiskey barrel was -destined after all to be turned into a weapon of offense. - - - _The Tables Turned._ - -The bold man who thus declared hostilities, and by a _coup-de-guerre_ -changed the whole nature of the war from offensive to defensive -tactics, had been bar-keeper in a Georgia tavern, afterwards a clerk in -a Macon dispensary, in order to escape field duty. Coming to Richmond -he passed the board of surgeons by a process known only to themselves, -which often rejected good practitioners, and gave appointments to -apothecary boys. - -Fate sent him to our hospital, where the brilliant idea struck him to -check thefts of whiskey in the feminine department. He inaugurated his -plans by ordering a pint of it for a single patient. - -The etiquette of a hospital enjoins that no one but the chief surgeon -shall dispute an inferior surgeon’s prescription, so I carried this -generous order to the chief, received his instructions not to exceed -the usual “from two to four ounces” without being served with a formal -requisition signed by the surgeon in charge, and so I wrote this -gentleman (a contract surgeon) a few lines, courteously explanatory -of my reasons for so cutting him down. This matter being arranged, -I forgot all about it, but the next day the blow was struck; the -following note being handed to me: - - - “HOSPITAL, Richmond, April 3, 1864. - - “The Chief Matron:—Is respectfully asked to state the amount of water - used as compared with amount of whiskey in making toddy. Also if - strength of toddy has been uniform since January 1st, 1863. Also if - any change has taken place in diluting within the same period. She - will also state what the change has been; also when made, and by whose - authority. - “Respectfully, - “——— ———, - “Assistant Surgeon in charge.” - - - _Concise, but not Clear._ - -These questions, if even he had any right to ask them (which he had -not), were simply absurd. With hundreds of men requiring different -drinks many times each day, ordered by numerous surgeons, prepared to -suit different stages of disease and palate, no hour bringing the same -orders, how could any kind of a correct statement be made, even if I -was willing to make it? But there was a great deal of amusement in the -idea of letting him suppose he had alarmed me. Perhaps, as the day was -very wet, and the wards rather empty, we might enact a small comedy; so -I sat down and answered in full, respectfully, feeling very charitably -that he was welcome to all the information he could extract from the -five closely-written sheets of foolscap I despatched him. - - - _A Storm Brewing._ - -In this document, polite, officially formal and as officially obscure, -I thought I had succeeded in showing my correspondent that his -questions could not be answered satisfactorily, but that I was much -alarmed at his asking them. That I did not succeed in regard to his -first inquiry was proved by the following, which came after an hour’s -delay. - - - “HOSPITAL, April 3rd, 1864. - - “Chief Matron:—Is respectfully called upon to state what amount of - whiskey has been given to each patient when amount has not been stated - or expressed by surgeon, or assistant surgeon, upon the rolls, but - instead ‘whiskey three times a day,’ and shown upon the rolls which - _I_ send _you_. - “Respectfully, - “——— ———, - “Assistant Surgeon in charge.” - - - _Diplomatic Correspondence._ - -No solemn pages greeted him in answer this time. My rejoinder was -concise and to the point. - - - “HOSPITAL, April 3rd, 1864. - - “The Chief Matron regrets that she is too busily engaged to give any - more voluminous explanations, being at this moment up to her elbows in - gingerbread.” - - -Then the sleeping lion was roused, for almost instantly the reply was -brought me, and an alarming finale it was. - - - “HOSPITAL, April 3rd, 1864. - - “Chief Matron: Is hereby informed that if she willfully and - contumaciously refuses to give me such information as I demand, and - she is possessed of, thereby obstructing the duty I feel myself called - upon to perform, she must be prepared to _meet_ the responsibility - upon _your own shoulders_. - “Respectfully, - “——— ———, - “Assistant Surgeon in charge.” - - - _Confusion of Tenses._ - -A serious but sharp rejoinder sent to this gentleman, trying to show -him that he had no authority to propound these questions, closed -this paper war; and I had forgotten all about the matter, when the -correspondence was forwarded me, folded in official style, and indorsed -at the surgeon-general’s office on the back “Referred respectfully to -the surgeon-in-chief —— Hospital,” through whose hands alone official -etiquette required all reports should pass to heads of departments. -He had courteously sent it to me, and I as courteously sent it to the -forwarder. Seeing that he had failed to interest the surgeon-general -in the case, he drew up a statement of the affair, accusing me of -disrespect (based upon the gingerbread letter particularly) to my -_superior officer_, sending it accompanied by all the obnoxious notes -to the office of the military governor of the department of Henrico, -who I heard read it all with some amazement—if not interest. - - - _How History is made._ - -Back, however, it came shortly again without response, and by this -time some of the waggish surgeons having been made confidants in the -matter, persuaded my disappointed friend to try the secretary of war; -and at one of the charming breakfasts which his wife was in the habit -of giving, I saw him with a smile draw from his pocket a package I knew -well by that time, and made my escape just in time to avoid hearing it -all over again. As I mounted the ambulance in waiting to take me to my -hospital, I heard the peals of laughter that greeted the reading of -those unlucky documents. - -My acquaintance with my correspondent was never renewed. He kept out -of my way. The only time I ever saw him again was the day he left and -I viewed his pantaloons of Georgia clay embrowning the landscape adown -the hill. - - - _Non-intervention._ - -A better educated class of surgeons was sent to fill fortunate -vacancies, and this change made my duties more agreeable. There would -have been nothing disagreeable in the occupation I had assumed if a -proper discretion had been exercised, or proper rules enforced, so -that no demands should have been made upon the matron for that which -she had no right to give. These demands were the beginning and end of -my troubles; for in all else except complying with them I tried hard -not to exceed the duties of my position, and succeeded so well that -no temptation could induce me to interfere in any way with medical -treatment, not even to offering the slightest alleviation to suffering -men. During my early initiation, when quite a novice, yielding to -a poor fellow’s prayer for something to wash a mouth frightfully -excoriated by calomel I gave him a few drops of myrrh in water, I -suffered the annoyance of seeing it contemptuously tossed out of the -window by the assistant surgeon. From that day I made up my mind to -resist all such impulses and persevered in the same line of conduct to -the end. - - - _Amende._ - -But antagonism was not always the rule. There were many sensible, -kind-hearted, efficient men among the surgeons who gave their time -and talents generously to further the comfort and well-being of their -patients,—men who would let me work hand in hand with them, the nurse -with the doctor, and listen kindly and respectfully to my suggestions, -if they were not calculated to benefit science. As I have said, the -chief surgeon was an unfailing refuge in times of distress, and -whenever broken down by fatigue and small miseries I sought his advice -and assistance, the first was not only the very best that could be -secured, but unlike most of its kind, palatable; and the last entirely -efficient. The surgeon too of my hospital though eccentric and wanting -in decision of character, sustained my authority during sore trials as -ably as he could; for the power delegated to him was not great, and his -dread of responsibility a disease. He never intended to be unjust or -unkind, but self-examination and investigation of characters around him -was not his forte. He certainly withstood a vast amount of complaint -directed against his chief matron; and while we had our pleasant little -difficulties occasionally, that we still preserved amicable relations -was due more to his amiable temper than my proper submission. I _think_ -he had many faults, but I am sure I had more, and if the popular remark -which has since become a maxim, that a man must be very clever to -“keep a hotel” be true, it certainly ought to apply to one who can -govern a hospital. - - ———— - - - _Sadness and Doubts._ - -Now during the summer of 1864 began what is really meant by “war,” -for privations had to be endured which tried body and soul, and which -temper and patience had to meet unflinchingly day and night. A growing -want of confidence was forced upon the mind; and with doubts which -though unexpressed were felt as to the ultimate success of our cause, -there came into play the antagonistic qualities of human nature. - - - _Sorrow and Privation._ - -The money worthless, and a weak Congress and weaker financier failing -to make it much more valuable than the paper it was printed on; the -former refusing to the last to raise the hospital fund to meet the -depreciation. Everything furnished through government contracts of the -very poorest description, perhaps necessarily so from the difficulty of -finding any supply. - -The railroads constantly cut so that what had been carefully collected -in the country in the form of poultry and vegetables by hospital agents -would be rendered unfit for use by the time the connection would be -restored. The inducements for theft in this season of scarcity of -food and clothing. The pathetic appeals made for the coarsest meal by -starving men, all wore upon the health and strength of those exposed -to the strain, and made life weary and hopeless. The rations became -so small about this time that every ounce of flour was valuable, and -there were days when it was necessary to refuse with aching heart and -brimming eyes the request of decent, manly-looking fellows for a piece -of dry corn-bread. If given it would have robbed the rightful owner -of part of his scanty rations. After the flour or meal had been made -into bread, it was almost ludicrous to see with what painful solicitude -Miss G. and myself would count the rolls, or hold a council over the -pans of corn-bread, measuring with a string how large we could afford -to cut the squares, to be apportioned to a certain number. Sometimes -when from the causes above stated, the supplies were not issued as -usual, invention had to be taxed to an extreme, and every available -article in our pantry brought into requisition. We had constantly to -fall back upon dried apples and rice for convalescing appetites, and -herb-tea and arrowroot for the very ill. There was only one way of -making the last at all palatable, and that was by drenching it with -whiskey. Long abstinence in the field from everything that could be -considered, even then, a delicacy, had exaggerated the fancy of sick -men for any particular article of food they wanted into a passion; and -they begged for such peculiar dishes that surgeons and nurses might -well be puzzled. The greatest difficulty in granting these desires was -that tastes became contagious, and whatever one patient asked for, -his neighbor and the one next to him, and so on throughout the wards, -craved also, and it was impossible to decide upon whom to draw a check. - - - _No Change._ - -No one unacquainted with our domestic relations can appreciate the -difficulties under which we labored. Stoves in any degree of newness -or usefulness we did not have; they were rare and expensive luxuries. -As may be supposed, they were not the most convenient articles in the -world to pack away in blockade-running vessels; and the trouble and -expense of land transportation also seriously affected the quality -of the wood for fuel, furnished us. Timber which had been condemned -heretofore as unfit for use, light, soggy and decayed, became the only -quality available. The bacon too, cured the first two years of the -war, when salt commanded an enormous price, in most cases was spoilt, -from the economy used in preparing that article; and bacon was one of -the sinews of war. We kept up brave hearts, and said we could eat the -simplest fare, and wear the coarsest clothing, but there was absolutely -nothing to be bought that did not rank as a luxury. It was wasting time -and brain to attempt to economize, so we bent to the full force of -that wise precept, “Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.” There -really was a great deal of heroism displayed when looking back, at the -calm courage with which I learned to count the number of mouths to be -fed daily, and then contemplating the food, calculate not how much -but how little each man could be satisfied with. War may be glorious -in all its panoply and pride, when in the field opposing armies meet -and strive for victory; but battles fought by starving the sick and -wounded—by crushing in by main force day by day all the necessities of -human nature, make victories hardly worth the name. - - - _Educated Rats._ - -Another of my local troubles were the rats, who felt the times, and -waxed strong and cunning, defying all attempts to entrap them, and -skillfully levying blackmail upon us day by day, and night after -night. Hunger had educated their minds and sharpened their reasoning -faculties. Other vermin, the change of seasons would rid us of, but -the coldest day in winter, and the hottest in summer, made no apparent -difference in their vivacious strategy. They examined traps with the -air of connoisseurs, sometimes springing them from a safe position, -and kicked over the bread spread with butter and strychnine to show -their contempt for such underhand warfare. The men related wonderful -rat-stories not well enough authenticated to put on record, but their -gourmands ate all the poultices applied during the night to the sick, -and dragged away the pads stuffed with bran from under the arms and -legs of the wounded. - - - _Rat Surgeon._ - -They even performed a surgical operation which would have entitled any -of them to pass the board. A Virginian had been wounded in the very -center of the instep of his left foot. The hole made was large, and -the wound sloughed fearfully around a great lump of proud flesh which -had formed in the center like an island. The surgeons feared to remove -this mass, as it might be connected with the nerves of the foot, and -lock-jaw might ensue. Poor Patterson would sit on his bed all day -gazing at his lame foot and bathing it with a rueful face, which had -brightened amazingly one morning when I paid him a visit. He exhibited -it with great glee, the little island gone, and a deep hollow left, but -the wound washed clean and looking healthy. Some skillful rat surgeon -had done him this good service while in the search for luxuries, and -he only knew that on awaking in the morning he had found the operation -performed. - - - _Novel style of catching them._ - -I never had but one personal interview with any of them. An ancient -gray gentleman, who looked a hundred years old, both in years and -depravity, would eat nothing but butter, when that article was twenty -dollars a pound; so finding all means of getting rid of him fail -through his superior intelligence, I caught him with a fish-hook, well -baited with a lump of his favorite butter, dropped into his domicile -under the kitchen floor. Epicures sometimes managed to entrap them and -secure a nice broil for supper, declaring that their flesh was superior -to squirrel meat; but never having tasted it, I cannot add my testimony -to its merits. They staid with us to the last, nor did I ever observe -any signs of a desire to change their politics. Perhaps some curious -_gourmet_ may wish a recipe for the best mode of cooking them. The rat -must be skinned, cleaned, his head cut off and his body laid open upon -a square board, the legs stretched to their full extent and secured -upon it with small tacks, then baste with bacon fat and roast before a -good fire quickly like canvas-back ducks. - - ———— - - - _No Personal Animosities._ - -One of the remarkable features of the war was the perfect good nature -with which the rebels discussed their foes. In no instance up to a -certain period did I hear of any remark that savored of personal -hatred. They fought for a cause and against a power, and would speak in -depreciation of a corps or brigade; but “they fit us, and we fit them,” -was the whole story generally and till the blowing up of the mine at -Petersburg there was a gay, insouciant style in their descriptions of -the war scenes passing under their observation. But after that time -the sentiment changed from an innate feeling the Southern soldiers had -that mining was “a mean trick,” as they expressed it. They were not -sufficiently versed in military tactics to recognize that stratagem -is fair in war, and what added to their indignation was the pouring -in of _negro_ soldiers when the breach was effected. Incensed at the -surprise, they craved foes worthier of their steel, not caring to -rust it in the black cloud that issued from the crater. The men had -heretofore been calm and restrained, particularly before a woman, never -using oaths or improper language, but the wounded that were brought in -from that fight emulated the talents of Uncle Toby’s army in Flanders, -and eyes gleamed, and teeth clenched as they showed me the locks of -their muskets, to which the blood and hair still clung, when after -firing, without waiting to re-load, they had clenched the barrels and -fought hand to hand. If their accounts could be relied upon, it was a -gallant strife and a desperate one, and ghastly wounds bore testimony -of the truth of many a tale then told. - - - _The Bitter Blood._ - -Once again the bitter blood showed itself, when, after a skirmish, -the foe cut the rail track, so that the wounded could not be brought -to the city. Of all the monstrous crimes that war sanctions, this is -surely the most sinful. Wounded soldiers without the shelter of a roof, -or the comfort of a bed of straw, left exposed to sun, dew, and rain, -with hardly the prospect of a warm drink or decent food for days, -knowing that comfortable quarters awaited them, all ready prepared, -but rendered useless by what seems an unnecessarily cruel act. Was it -any wonder that their habitual indifference to suffering gave way, and -the soldier cursed loud and deep at a causeless inhumanity, which, if -practiced habitually, is worse than savage? When the sufferers at last -reached the hospital, their wounds had not been attended to for three -days, and the sight of them was shocking. - - - _A Common Sight._ - -Busy in my kitchen, seeing that the supply of necessary food was in -preparation, I was spared the sight of much of the suffering, but on -passing among the ambulances going in and out of the wards I descried -seated up in one of them a dilapidated figure, both hands holding his -head which was tied up with rags of all descriptions. He appeared to be -incapable of talking, but nodded and winked and made motions with head -and feet. In the general confusion he had been forgotten, so I took him -under my especial charge. He was taken into a ward, seated on a bed, -while I stood on a bench to be able to unwind rag after rag from around -his head. There was no sensitiveness on his part, for his eye was merry -and bright, but when the last came off, what a sight! - - - _A Looking-Glass Wanted._ - -Two balls had passed through his cheek and jaw within half an inch -of each other, knocking out the teeth on both sides and cutting the -tongue in half. The inflammation caused the swelling to be immense, -and the absence of all previous attendance, in consequence of the -detention of the wounded until the road could be mended, had aggravated -the symptoms. There was nothing fatal to be apprehended, but fatal -wounds are not always the most trying. The sight of this was the most -sickening my long experience had ever seen. The swollen lips turned -out, and the mouth filled with blood, matter, fragments of teeth from -amidst all of which the maggots in countless numbers swarmed and -writhed, while the smell generated by this putridity was unbearable. -Castile soap and soft sponges soon cleansed the offensive cavity, and -he was able in an hour to swallow some nourishment he drew through a -quill. The following morning I found him reading the newspaper, and -entertaining every one about him by his abortive attempts to make -himself understood, and in a week he actually succeeded in doing -so. The first request distinctly enunciated was that he wanted a -looking-glass to see if his sweetheart would be willing to kiss him -when she saw him. We all assured him that she would not be worthy of -the name if she would not be delighted to do so. - - - _Vaccination._ - -An order come about this time to clear out the lower wards for the -reception of improperly-vaccinated patients, who soon after arrived in -great numbers. They were dreadfully afflicted objects, many of them -with sores so deep and thick upon arms and legs that amputation had -to be resorted to, to preserve life. As fast as the eruption would be -healed in one spot, it would break out in another, for the blood seemed -entirely poisoned. The unfortunate victims bore the infliction as they -had borne everything else painful—with calm patience and indifference -to suffering. Sometimes a favorable comparison would be made between -this and the greater loss of limbs. - - - _Prisoners of War._ - -No one who was a daily witness to their agonies from this cause, -can help feeling indignant at charges made of inhumanity to Federal -prisoners of war, who were vaccinated with the same virus; and while on -this subject, though it may be outside of the recollections of hospital -life, I cannot help stating that on no occasion was the question of -rations and medicines to be issued for Federal prisoners discussed -in my presence; and circumstances placed me where I had the best -opportunity of hearing the truth (living with the wife of a Cabinet -officer); that good evidence was not given, that the Confederate -commissary-general, by order of the government issued to them the same -rations it gave its soldiers in the field, and only when reductions of -food had to be made in our army, were they also made in the prisons. -The question of supplies for them was an open and a vexed one among the -people generally, and angry and cruel things were _said_; but everyone -cognizant of facts in Richmond _knows_ that even when Gen. Lee’s -army lived on corn-meal at times that the prisoners still received -their usual rations. At a cabinet meeting when the Commissary-general -Northrop advocated putting the prisoners on the half rations which our -soldiers had been obliged to content themselves with for some time, -Gen. Lee opposed him on the ground that men animated by companionship -and active service could be satisfied with less than prisoners with no -hope and leading an inactive life. Mr. Davis sided with him, and the -question was settled that night, although in his anger Mr. Northrop -accused Gen. Lee of showing this consideration because his son was a -prisoner in the enemy’s lines. - - - _Unwelcome Visitors._ - -My hospital was now entirely composed of Virginians and Marylanders, -and the nearness to the homes of the former entailed upon me an -increase of care in the shape of wives, sisters, cousins, aunts, and -whole families including the historic baby at the breast. They came -in troops, and hard as it was to know how to dispose of them, it was -harder to send them away. Sometimes they brought their provisions with -them, but not often, and even when they did there was no place for them -to cook their food. It must be remembered that everything was reduced -to the lowest minimum, even fuel. They could not remain all day in -the wards with men around them, and if even they were so willing, the -restraint on wounded, restless patients who wanted to throw their limbs -about with freedom during hot summer days, was unbearable. - - - _An Unexpected Gathering._ - -Generally their only idea of kindness was giving sick men what food -they would take in any quantity and of every quality, and in the -furtherance of their views they were pugnacious in the extreme. -Whenever rules circumscribed their plans they abused the government, -then the hospital and then myself. Many ludicrous incidents happened -daily, and I have often laughed heartily at seeing the harassed -ward-master heading away a pertinacious female who failing to get past -him at one door would try the three others perseveringly. They seemed -to think it a pious and patriotic duty not to be afraid or ashamed -under _any_ circumstances. One sultry day I found a whole family -accompanied by two young lady friends seated around a wounded man’s -bed; as I passed through six hours later, they held the same position. - - - _Counterchecks._ - -“Had not you all better go home?” I said good-naturedly. - -“We came to see my cousin,” answered one very crossly. “He is wounded.” - -“But you have been with him all morning, and that is a restraint upon -the other men. Come again to-morrow.” - -A consultation was held, but when it ceased no movement was made, the -older ones only lighting their pipes and smoking in silence. - -“Will you come back to-morrow, and go now?” - -“No! You come into the wards when you please, and so will we!” - -“But it is my duty to do so. Besides, I always ask permission to enter, -and never stay longer than fifteen minutes at a time.” - -Another unbroken silence, which was a trial to any patience left, and -finding no movement made, I handed some clothing to a patient near. - -“Here is a clean shirt and drawers for you, Mr. Wilson; put them on as -soon as I get out of the ward.” - - - _Checkmated._ - -I had hardly reached my kitchen, when the whole procession, pipes and -all, passed me solemnly and angrily; but for many days, and even weeks, -there was no ridding the place of this large family connection. Their -sins were manifold. They overfed their relative who was recovering from -an attack of typhoid fever, and even defiantly seized the food for the -purpose from under my very nose. They marched on me _en masse_ at ten -o’clock at night, with a requisition from the boldest for sleeping -quarters. The steward was summoned, and said “he didn’t keep a hotel,” -so in a weak moment of pity for their desolate state, I imprudently -housed them in my laundry. They entrenched themselves there for six -days, making predatory incursions into my kitchen during my temporary -absences, ignoring Miss G. completely. The object of their solicitude -recovered and was sent to the field, and finding my writs of ejectment -were treated with contemptuous silence, I sought an explanation. The -same spokeswoman alluded to above, met me half-way. She said a battle -was imminent she had heard, and she had determined to remain, as her -husband might be wounded. In the ensuing press of business she was -forgotten, and strangely enough, her husband was brought in with a -bullet in his neck the following week. The back is surely fitted to the -burden, so I contented myself with retaking my laundry, and letting her -shift for herself, while a whole month slipped away. One morning my -arrival was greeted with a general burst of merriment from everybody -I met, white and black. Experience had made me sage, and my first -question was a true shot, right in the center. - - - _Unexpected and Unwelcome Visitor._ - -“Where is Mrs. Daniells?” (she who had always been spokeswoman). - -“In ward G. She has sent for you two or three times.” - -“What is the matter now?” - -“You must go and see.” - -There was something going on, either amusing or amiss. I entered ward -G, and walked up to Daniells’ bed. One might have heard a pin drop. - -I had supposed, up to this time, that I had been called upon to bear -and suffer every annoyance that humanity and the state of the country -could inflict; but here was something most unexpected in addition; for -lying composedly on her husband’s cot (he had relinquished it for the -occasion), lay Mrs. Daniells, and her baby, just two hours old. - - - _What shall I do with it?_ - -The conversation that ensued is not worth repeating, being more of the -nature of soliloquy. The poor little wretch had ventured into a bleak -and comfortless portion of the world, and its inhuman mother had not -provided a rag to cover it. No one could scold her at such a time, -however ardently they might desire to do so. But what was to be done? -I went in search of my chief surgeon, and our conversation although -didactic was hardly satisfactory on the subject. - -“Doctor, Mrs. Daniells has a baby. She is in ward G. What shall I do -with her?” - -“A baby! Bless me! Ah indeed! You must get it some clothes.” - -“What must I do with _her_?” - -“Move her to an empty ward and give her some tea and toast.” - -This was offered, but Mrs. D. said she would wait until dinner-time and -have some bacon and greens. - -The baby was a sore annoyance. The ladies of Richmond made up a -wardrobe, each contributing some article, and at the end of the month, -Mrs D., the child, and a basket of clothing and provisions were sent -to the cars with a return ticket to her home in western Virginia. My -feelings of relief can be imagined. But the end had not come. An hour -after the ambulance had started with them, it stopped at my kitchen -door apparently empty, and the black driver with a grin half of -delighted mischief and half of fear silently lifted a bundle out and -deposited it carefully upon my kitchen dresser. Mrs. Daniells’ baby! - - - _As Godmother._ - -The unnatural woman had deserted it, leaving it in the railroad depot, -but the father fortunately was still with us and to him I appealed. A -short furlough was obtained for him, and he was despatched home with -his embarrassing charge and a quart of milk. He was a wretched picture -of helplessness, but had I sent again for the mother I should never -have got rid of her. It may be remarked _en passant_ that she was not -wholly ungrateful, for the baby was named after me. - - - _Home-sickness._ - -There were no means of keeping the relations of patients from coming -to them. There had been rules made to meet their invasion, but it was -impossible to carry them out, as in the instance of a wife wanting -to remain with her husband; and besides even the better class of -people looked upon the comfort and care of a hospital as a farce. They -resented the detention there of men who in many instances could lie in -bed and point to their homes within sight, and argued that they would -have better attention and food if allowed to go to their families. -That _maladie du pays_ called commonly nostalgia, the home-sickness -which wrings the heart and impoverishes the blood, killed many a brave -soldier; and the matron who day by day had to stand helpless and -powerless by the bed of the sufferer, knowing that a week’s furlough -would make his heart sing for joy, and save his wife from widowhood, -learned the most bitter lesson of endurance that could be taught. - -This home-sickness recognized no palliation. However carefully the -appetite might be pampered, or stimulants prepared and given, the -food never nourished, the drink never strengthened; the decay would -be gradual, but death was inevitable. Perhaps when recovery seemed -hopeless, a statement of the case might procure a furlough from the -examining board of surgeons, but the patient would then be too weak and -low to profit by the concession. It was wonderful to see how long the -poor broken machine would hold out in some cases. For months I have -watched a victim, helpless, hopeless, and motionless, simply receive -into his mouth daily a few spoonfuls of nourishment, making no other -movement, the skin barely covering the bones, and the skeleton of the -face as sharply defined as it might have been days after dissolution. -The answer to cheering words seldom exceeding a slight movement of the -eyelids. Towards the end of the war, this detention of men who could -have been furloughed at first, and some other abuses were reformed -by allowing a board to be convened of three of the oldest surgeons -attached to the hospital, who had authority to dispose of such cases -without deferring to higher powers. There had been so much imposition -practiced by men desirous of getting furloughs, and so many abuses -had crept in despite the stringency of rules, that severity seemed -necessary. - - ———— - - - _Spring Operations._ - -The spring campaign of 1864 again opened with the usual “On to -Richmond.” Day after day and night after night would the sudden -explosion of cannon boom upon the air. The enemy were always coming, -and curiosity seemed to have usurped the place of fear among the -women. In the silence of night the alarm bells would suddenly peal -out, till the order to ring them at any sign of danger was modified to -a command to sound them only in case of positive attack. The people -became so accustomed to the report of fire-arms, that they scarcely -interrupted their conversation at corners of the streets to ask in what -direction the foe was advancing, or if there was any foe at all. - -There was such entire reliance upon the military vigilance that guarded -the city, and former attacks had been so promptly repelled, that -whatever was ultimately to be the result of the war, no one trembled -then for Richmond. So the summer of 1864 passed, and early in September -our hearts were gladdened by the tidings that the exchange of prisoners -was to be renewed. The sick and wounded of our hospital (but few in -number just then), were transferred to other quarters, and the wards -put in order to receive our men from Northern prisons. - - - _Unpleasant Truths._ - -Can any pen or pencil do justice to those squalid pictures of famine -and desolation? Those gaunt, lank skeletons with the dried yellow flesh -clinging to bones enlarged by dampness and exposure? Those pale, -bluish lips and feverish eyes, glittering and weird when contrasted -with the famine-stricken faces,—that flitting, piteous, scared smile -which greeted their fellow creatures, all will live forever before the -mental vision that then witnessed it. - -Living and dead were taken from the flag-of-truce boat, not -distinguishable save from the difference of care exercised in moving -them. The Federal prisoners we had released were in many instances in -a like state, but our ports had been blockaded, our harvests burned, -our cattle stolen, our country wasted. Even had we felt the desire to -succor, where could the wherewithal have been found? But the foe,—the -ports of the world were open to him. He could have fed his prisoners -upon milk and honey, and not have missed either. When we review the -past, it would seem that Christianity was but a name—that the Atonement -had failed, and Christ had lived and died in vain. - - - _Cast your bread upon the waters._ - -But it was no time then for vague reflections. With beating heart, -throbbing head and icy hands I went among this army of martyrs -and spectres whom it was almost impossible to recognize as human -beings; powerless to speak to them, choking with unavailing pity, but -still striving to aid and comfort. There was but little variety of -appearance. From bed to bed the same picture met the eye. Hardly a -vestige of human appearance left. - - - _Draw the Vail down._ - -The passion of sympathy could only impede my efforts if yielded to, for -my hand shook too tremulously even to allow me to put the small morsels -of bread soaked in wine into their mouths. It was all we dared to give -at first. Some laid as if dead with limbs extended, but the greater -part had drawn up their knees to an acute angle, a position they never -changed until they died. Their more fortunate comrades said that the -attitude was generally assumed, as it reduced the pangs of hunger and -relieved the craving that gnawed them by day and by night. The Federal -prisoners may have been starved at the South, we cannot deny the truth -of the charge, in many instances; but we starved with them; we had only -a little to share with any—but the subject had better be left to die in -silence. - - - _A Common Story._ - -One among them lingered in patience the usual three days that -appeared to be their allotted space of life on their return. He was a -Marylander, heir to a name renowned in the history of his country,[1] -the last of seven sons reared in affluence, but presenting the same -bluish, bloodless appearance common to them all. Hoping that there -would be some chance of his rallying, I gave him judicious nursing -and good brandy. Every precaution was taken, but the third day fever -supervened and the little life left waned rapidly. He gave me the -trinkets cut from gutta percha buttons that he had beguiled his -captivity in making at Point Lookout, to send to his family, handing me -one of them for a souvenir; begged that he might be buried apart from -the crowd in some spot where those who knew and cared for him might -find him some day, and quietly slept himself to death that night. - - - _A Strange Experience._ - -The next morning was the memorable 29th September, 1864, when the enemy -made a desperate and successful attack, taking Fort Harrison, holding -it and placing Richmond in jeopardy for four hours. The alarm bells -summoned the citizens together, and the shops being closed to allow -those who kept them to join the city guards, there were no means of -buying a coffin, or getting a hearse. It was against the rules to keep -a body beyond a certain time on the hospital grounds, so little time -was to be lost if I intended keeping my promise to the dead. I summoned -a convalescent carpenter from one of the wards, made him knock together -a rough coffin from some loose boards, and taking the seats out of my -ambulance had it, with the body enclosed, put in. My driver was at his -post with the guards, so taking the reins and kneeling in the little -space at the side of the coffin I started for Hollywood cemetery, a -distance of five miles. - -The enemy were then in sight, and from every elevated point the masses -of manœuvering soldiers and flash of the enemy’s cannon could be -distinguished. Only stopping as I passed through the city to buy a -piece of ground from the old cemetery agent, I reached Hollywood by -twelve o’clock. Near the burying-ground I met the Rev. Mr. McCabe, -requested his presence and assistance, and we stood side by side -while the sexton dug his grave. The rain was pouring in torrents, -while the clergyman repeated the Episcopal burial service from memory. -Besides ourselves there but two poor women, of the humblest class -of life—Catholics, who passing casually, dropped upon their knees, -undeterred by the rain, and paid their humble tribute of respect to the -dead. - - - “_We left him alone in his glory._” - -He had all the honors of a soldier’s burial paid to him unconsciously, -for the cannon roared and the musketry rattled, mingling with the -thunder and lightning of Heaven’s artillery. The sexton held his -hat over the small piece of paper on which I inscribed his name and -birthplace (to be put on his headboard) to protect it from the rain, -and with a saddened heart for the solitary grave we left behind I drove -back to the city. The reverend gentleman was left at his home, and, -perhaps, to this day does not know who his companion was during that -strange hour. - - - _Intense Anxiety._ - -I found the city in the same state of excitement, for no authentic news -was to be heard, or received, except perhaps at official quarters; and -it was well known that we had no troops nearer than Petersburg, save -the citizens who had enrolled themselves for defense; therefore too -anxious to return directly to the hospital, I drove to the residence -of one of the cabinet ministers, where I was engaged to attend a -dinner, and found the mistress of the establishment, surrounded by -her servants and trunks preparing for a hasty retreat when necessary. -Some persuasion induced her to desist, and the situation of the house -commanding an extensive view of the surrounding country, we watched -the advance of the enemy from the extreme northeast, for with the -aid of opera-glasses we could even distinguish the colors of their -uniforms. Slowly onward moved the bodies of dark blue, emerging from -and disappearing into the woods, seeming to be skirting around them, -but not to be diminishing the distance between, although each moment -becoming more distinct, which proved their advance, while not one -single Confederate jacket could be observed over the whole sweep of -ground. - - - _Saved._ - -Half an anxious hour passed, and then, far away against the distant -horizon, one single mounted horseman emerged from a thick wood, looked -cautiously around, passed across the road and disappeared. He was in -gray, and followed by another and another, winding around and cutting -off the foe. Then a startling peal at the bell, and a courier brought -the news that Wade Hampton and his cavalry were close upon the rear -of the enemy. There was no occasion for fear after this, for General -Hampton was the Montrose of the Southern army, he who could make any -cause famous with his pen and glorious with his sword. The dinner -continued in course of preparation, and was seasoned, when served, by -spirits brightened by the strong reaction. - - ———— - - - _Itinerary Labors._ - -The horrors that attended, in past times, the bombardment of a city, -were experienced in a great degree in Richmond during the fighting -around us. The close proximity to the scenes of strife, the din of -battle, the bursting of shells, the fresh wounds of the men hourly -brought in were daily occurrences. Walking through the streets during -this time, after the duties of the hospital were over, when night had -well advanced, the pavement around the railroad depot would be crowded -with wounded men just brought in, and laid there waiting for conveyance -to the receiving hospitals. Some on stretchers, others on the bare -bricks, or laid on a thin blanket, suffering from wounds hastily -wrapped around with strips of coarse, unbleached, galling bandages -of homespun cotton, on which the blood had congealed and stiffened -until every crease cut like a knife. Women passing accidentally, like -myself, would put down their basket or bundle, and ringing at the bell -of neighboring houses, ask for basin and soap, warm water, and a few -soft rags, and going from sufferer to sufferer, try to alleviate with -what skill they possessed, the pain of fresh wounds, change the uneasy -posture, and allay the thirst. Others would pause and look on, till -the labor appearing to require no particular talent, they too would -follow the example set them, and occasionally asking a word of advice, -do their duty carefully and willingly. Idle boys would get a pine -knot or tallow-dip, and stand quietly and curiously as torch-bearers, -till the scene, with its gathering accessories formed a strange -picture, not easily forgotten. Persons driving in different vehicles -would alight sometimes in evening dress, and choosing the wounded -most in need of surgical aid, put them in their places, and send them -to their destination, continuing their way on foot. There was little -conversation carried on, no necessity for introductions, and no names -ever asked or given. - - - _A Rose by any other Name._ - -This indifference to personality was a peculiarity strongly exhibited -in hospitals, for after nursing a sick or wounded patient for months, -he has often left without any curiosity exhibited as regarded my name, -my whereabouts, or indeed any thing connected with me. A case in point -was related by a friend. When the daughter of our general had devoted -much time and care to a sick man in one of the hospitals, he seemed to -feel so little gratitude for the attention paid, that her companion to -rouse him told him that Miss Lee was his nurse. “Lee, Lee?” he said. -“There are some Lees down in Mississippi who keep a tavern there. Is -she one of them Lees?” - - - _Not among the Compliments._ - -Almost of the same style, although a little worse was the remark of -one of my sick, a poor fellow who had been wounded in the head and who, -though sensible enough ordinarily, would feel the effect of the sun on -his brain when exposed to its influence. After advising him to wear a -wet paper doubled into the crown of his hat more from a desire to show -some interest in him than from any belief in its efficacy, I paused at -the door long enough to hear him ask the ward-master “who that was?” -“Why, that is the matron of the hospital; she gives you all the food -you eat, and attends to things.” “Well!” said he, “I always did think -this government was a confounded sell, and now I am sure of it, when -they put such a little fool to manage such a big hospital as this.” - -The ingenuity of the men was wonderful in making toys and trifles, -and a great deal of mechanical talent was developed by the enforced -inaction of hospital life. Every ward had its draught-board and -draughtsmen cut out of hard wood and stained with vegetable dies, -and sometimes chessmen would be cut out with a common knife, in such -ornamentation that they would not have disgraced a drawing-room. - - - _New Uses for the Bible._ - -One man carved pipes from ivy root, with exquisitely-cut shields on -the bowls, bearing the arms of the different States and their mottoes. -He would charge and easily get a hundred and fifty dollars for a -pipe (Confederate paper was then sixty cents for the dollar), and -he only used his well-worn pocket-knife. Playing cards—the greatest -comfort to alleviate the tedium of their sick life—were difficult to -get a substitute for, so that the original packs had a hard time. -They became, as may be supposed from the hands which used them, very -dirty in a short time, and the corners in a particularly disreputable -condition, but after the diffusion of the Oxford editions of the -different books of the Bible sent from England as a donation, the -soldiers took a lesson, and rounded the corners in imitation. A pack of -cards after four years’ use in a Southern hospital was beyond criticism. - - - _Camp Fashions._ - -The men had their fashions too, sometimes insisting upon having light -blue pants drawn for them, and at other seasons preferring gray; but -while the mania for either color raged, they would be dissatisfied -with the other. When the quartermaster-general issued canvas shoes -there was a loud dissatisfaction expressed in constant grumbling, till -some original genius dyed the whitish tops by the liberal application -of poke-berries. He was the Brummel of the day, and for many months -crimson shoes were the rage, and long rows of unshod men would sit -under the eaves of the wards, all diligently employed in the same labor -and up to their elbows in red juice. - -This fashion died out, and gave place to a button mania. Men who had -never had a dream or a hope beyond a horn convenience to keep their -clothing together, saved up their scanty means to replace them with -gilt, and made neat little wooden shelves with a slit through the -middle into which the buttons slid, so that they could be cleaned and -brightened without taking them off, or soiling the jacket. With the -glitter of buttons came the corresponding taste for gilt bands and -tinsel around the battered hat, so that while our future was lowering -darker and darker, our soldiers were amusing themselves like children -who had no interest in the coming results. - - ———— - - - _Life was so Sweet._ - -The duty which of all others pressed most heavily upon me and which -I never did perform voluntarily was that of telling a man he could -not live, when he was perhaps unconscious that there was any danger -apprehended from his wound. The idea of death so seldom occurs when -disease and suffering have not wasted the frame and destroyed the vital -energies, that there is but little opening or encouragement to commence -such a subject unless the patient suspects the result ever so slightly. -In many cases too, the yearning for life was so strong that to destroy -the hope was beyond human power. Life was for him a furlough, family -and friends once more around him; a future was all he wanted, and -considered it cheaply purchased if only for a month by the endurance of -any wound, however painful or wearisome. - - - _Difficult Responsibilities._ - -There were long discussions among those responsible during the war, as -to the advisability of the frequent amputations on the field, and often -when a hearty, fine-looking man in the prime of life would be brought -in minus an arm or leg, I would feel as if it might have been saved, -but experience taught me the wisdom of prompt measures. Poor food and -great exposure had thinned the blood and broken down the system so -entirely that secondary amputations performed in the hospital almost -invariably resulted in death, after the second year of the war. The -blood lost on the battlefield when the wound was first received would -enfeeble the already impaired system and render it incapable of further -endurance. - - - _Failures._ - -Once we received a strong, stalwart soldier from Alabama, and after -five days’ nursing, finding the inflammation from the wound in his -arm too great to save the limb, the attending surgeon requested me to -feed him on the best I could command; by that means to try and give -him strength to undergo amputation. Irritability of stomach as well -as indifference to food always accompanying gun-shot wounds, it was -necessary, while the fever continued, to give him as much nourishment -in as small a compass as possible, as well as easily digestible food, -that would assimilate with his enfeebled condition. Beef tea he (in -common with all soldiers and I believe men) would not, or could not -take, or anything I suggested as an equivalent, so getting his consent -to drink some “chemical mixture,” I prepared the infusion. Chipping up -a pound of beef and pouring upon it a half pint of water, the mixture -was stirred until all the blood was extracted, and only a tea-spoonful -of white fibre remained; a little salt was added, and favored by the -darkness of the corner of the ward in which he lay, I induced him to -swallow it. He drank without suspicion, and fortunately liked it, -only complaining of its being too sweet; and by the end of ten days -his pulse was fairly good, and there had been no accession of fever. -Every precaution was taken, both for his sake and the benefit of the -experiment, and the arm taken off by the most skillful surgeon we -had. After the amputation, which he bore bravely, he looked as bright -and well as before, and so on for five days—then the usual results -followed. The system proved not strong enough to throw out the “pus” -or inflammation; and this, mingling with the blood, produced that most -fatal of all diseases, pyæmia, from which no one ever recovers. - - - _Erin-go-bragh._ - -He was only one of numerous cases, so that my heart beat twice as -rapidly as ordinarily whenever there were any arrangements progressing -for amputation, after any length of time had elapsed since the -wound, or any effort made to save the limb. The only cases under my -observation that survived were two Irishmen, and it was really so -difficult to kill an Irishman that there was little cause for boasting -on the part of the officiating surgeons. One of them had his leg cut -off in pieces, amputation having been performed three times, and the -last heard from him was that he had married a young wife and settled -on a profitable farm she owned in Macon, Georgia. He had touched -the boundary lines of the “unknown land,” had been given up by the -surgeons, who left me with orders to stimulate him if possible. The -priest (for he was a Catholic) was naturally averse to my disturbing -what he considered the last moments of a dying man who had made his -confession and taken his farewell of this world, and which ought to -have been devoted to less worldly temptations than mint juleps; and a -rather brisk encounter was the result of a difference of opinion on -the subject; for if he was responsible for the soul, so was I for the -body, and I held my ground firmly. - - - _Whiskey_ versus _Religion._ - -It was hard for an Irishman and a good Catholic to have to choose -at this supreme moment between religion and whiskey; but though -his head was turned respectfully towards good Father T—— his eyes -rested too lovingly on the goblet offered to his lips to allow me to -make any mistake as to the results of his ultimate intentions. The -interpretation put by me on that look was that Callahan thought that -as long as first proof brandy and mint lasted in the Confederacy this -world was good enough for him, and the result proved that I was not -mistaken. He always gave me the credit I have awarded to the juleps, -and until the evacuation of Richmond kept me informed of his domestic -happiness. - - ———— - - - _My Furlough._ - -Though my health up to this time had withstood the bad effects of -exposure and exertion, the strain had become too great, and the -constantly recurring agitation which had been excited each day on -receiving the returned prisoners, had broken me down completely. A -visit to the surgeon-general with a request for a month’s leave of -absence, met with a ready acquiescence. The old gentleman was very -urbane, even making one or two grim jokes, and handed me not only -permission to leave, but the necessary transportation. Very necessary -in this case, as traveling expenses were enormously high, and the -government had seized for the whole month of October the railroads for -military use, putting a complete stop to private travel. - -It had been like tearing body and soul apart, when necessity compelled -me to leave my hospital, from which I had never been separated but -one day in nearly four years; and when all arrangements for departure -had been completed, Miss G. urged, entreated and commanded to keep a -sharp look-out upon the whiskey, and be alike impenetrable to feints, -stratagems and entreaties, my heart began to sink. A visit to the wards -did not tend to strengthen my wavering resolves. The first invalid -to whom I communicated the news of my intended departure burst into -a passion of tears, and improved my frame of mind by requesting me -to kill him at once, for he would certainly die if left. Standing by -his bedside, unsettled and irresolute, all the details of my daily -life rose before me. The early and comforting visit to the sick after -their feverish, restless night; when even if there were no good to be -effected, they would feel the kindness, and every man’s head would be -thrust out of the bed-clothes as by one impulse, and jealousy evinced -when a longer pause by one bedside than another would arouse the -feeling. Often has the ward-master recalled me when at, the distance -of a quarter of a mile from his ward, at the request of a patient, and -when going back to find out what was wanted, a hearty convalescent -would explain that I had passed through and omitted to speak to him. - - - _Off._ - -Farewells were exchanged at last, and the 6th October, 1864, found me -at the Fredericksburg station, _en route_ for Georgia. A search at the -last moment before stepping into the cars, discovered that my keys, -together with my watch, had been left at the hospital, while, as an -equivalent, there remained at the bottom of my basket half a salt -mackerel (a rare luxury in the Confederacy), begged for a sick man who -fancied it, a day before, and forgotten in the hurry of packing. I was -compelled to defer my start until the 7th. - -There are some schoolday recollections hanging around the softening by -Hannibal of a rugged journey by the plentiful application of vinegar; -but what acid could soften the rigors of that trip to Georgia? They -can hardly be recounted in any degree of limited space. With the aid -of two gentlemen, and indeed every disengaged man on the road, a safe -termination was effected after many days, and a delicious holiday -passed in idleness and _Confederate_ luxury, free from the wear and -tear of constantly excited feelings. Then came the stern reflection -that I had no right to exceed the furlough of thirty days accorded by -Dr. Moore. A search was immediately made for an escort, which having -failed, general advice was unanimously given to “go alone,” on the -grounds that women had become entirely independent at this time, and -“no man knowing the object of your journey could fail to give you all -the assistance you would need.” - - - _A Hard Road to Travel._ - -Fired with this Quixotic sentiment, an early start was made. Finding -almost immediately that I had not received checks for my trunks, I -ventured, while the afflatus lasted, to touch a man who sat in front of -me on the arm, and request him to call the conductor. “I am sorry to -say that I am not acquainted with him,” was the answer; and down I went -to zero, never rising again till my journey was accomplished. - -Perhaps the details of my trials may give my readers some idea of the -state of the country at that time. At West Point, which took an hour -and a half’s travel to reach from Legrange, we had to sleep all night, -there being no connection for twelve hours. There were no bed-rooms, -and no candles to be had, and the female travelers sat in the little -bar of the tavern (the leading hotel being closed) brightened by a -pine knot, with their feet on the sanded floor, and ate what they had -provided themselves with from their baskets. - - - _Services not Required._ - -Another two hours’ travel on to Opelika the next day, and another -detention for half-a-dozen hours. At Columbus, a rumor that the -cars had been seized for government transportation made me anxious -concerning the nature of my ticket, which I found to my dismay was -not suited to meet the emergency through some inadvertence; so long -before starting-time I was waiting at the depot seated on my trunk, -half amused and half mortified at the resemblance thus offered to an -emigrant Irish servant woman. The place was crowded with invalided -soldiers, for the government was moving the hospitals to the lower -part of the State, and idle spectators seeing my evident alarm offered -all kinds of irrational advice. A suggestion was sensibly made by -some one that by seeking one of the most helpless of the wounded and -requesting him to allow me to pass as his nurse my object might be -effected; but every man to whom I opened my proposals seemed alarmed -at and opposed to this idea. Towards the last the confusion became -distracting—everybody calling for the conductor, who possessing no -power, the cars being under military control, first denied his identity -and then hid himself. - - - _Friend to the “Faymales.”_ - -Help came at the last moment in the form of a red-faced, half-tipsy -Irish porter who had been cheering me on with winks of encouragement at -my frantic efforts for some time. “Lit me put yer trunks on,” he said, -and “thin go to Col. Frankland at the rare of the cars—sure he’s the -man to help the faymales.” - -My forlorn hope, Col. Frankland, was standing on the platform at the -extreme rear of the cars, surrounded by a semi-circle below, about -twenty-five feet deep, all pressing on to get to seats already too -full. He was gesticulating and shouting like a madman. The lame, the -halt, and the blind stood around. Crutches, splints, and huge sticks -represented a small wood. Green blinds over eyes, raw faces peeled -from erysipelas, and still showing variegated hues of iodine, gave -picturesqueness to the scene. Had he borne Cæsar and his fortunes he -could not have been more interested. For two hours he had been stemming -this living tide. - - - _A Bold Attempt._ - -I had met and fraternized with a lady and gentleman, old acquaintances, -encountered at the depot, who appeared as anxious to get Northward -as myself; so telling her not to move until I had either achieved my -object or failed, and if I made her a sign to join me, I took my -position at the fag end of the crowd below the colonel, and undeterred -by distance and uproar I essayed a faint call for notice. The sound -died away in my throat, but my Irish friend (I am sure he took me for -one of his cousins from the “ould counthrie”), was by my side in an -instant and repeated the call. A hundred voices took up the refrain, “A -lady wants to speak to the colonel,” and universal curiosity regarding -the _private_ nature of my business being exhibited by a profound -silence I raised my voice as Mause Headrigg said, “like a pelican in -the wilderness:” - -“Col. Frankland, I must get forward on this train to-night. Government -business requires me to be in Richmond by the 1st November.” - -“Can’t do it, Madam. Would like to oblige you, but can’t go against my -orders. The cars are for the use of sick and wounded soldiers alone.” - - - _None but the fair deserve the brave._ - -“But Col. Frankland, hundreds of invalids are waiting for their -breakfast, dinner and supper in Richmond. I am the matron of —— -hospital.” - -“Can’t help it, Madam! If you men there don’t keep away from this -platform and leave a passage way, I’ll put the front rank under arrest!” - -“Oh! Col. Frankland, cannot I stand on the platform, if I am not -allowed to use the cars?” - -“No, Madam, it would be dangerous. Sorry to refuse.” - -“Let me go in the freight train.” - -“There is no freight train.” - -“Well, the box cars? I take very little room.” - -“They are crowded, Madam, crowded. Keep off, men, keep off there!” - -The steam blew and whistled fearfully and the bell clanged an uproar -of sound. A passing car came rushing by and my courage was oozing -fast. “Try him agin!” said my Irish friend, who unable to get near me, -shouted his secret. - - - _Importance of Hair-Pins._ - -“Oh! Col. Frankland, excuse my pertinacity, but what _can_ I do? Let -me go on in the mail car! I will not even open my eyes to look at the -outside of the letters.” - -“Against the law. Cannot be done. How can I infringe upon my orders? -Will no one keep those confounded men off?” - -“_I will_, Col. Frankland, if you will let me get up by your side. I -will keep every single man away. Now men, keep off, I beg of you, for I -must get to Richmond, and moreover, I wear very long hair-pins.” - -“Thank you, Madam, thank you. Now men, you hear what this lady says, -and I know she will be as good as her word.” A hundred hands helped -me up. I looked for my friend the red-nosed Irishman, but he was -gone. Another moment and my friend stood by my side, assisted by the -Irishman, who tipped me a comprehensive wink which set my mind at rest -as regarded the safety of my trunk. - -“This is not fair,” said the Colonel. “You promised that no one should -get on.” - -“Oh, no, I promised that not a _single man_ should do so. This is a -woman. Will you let her husband join her? He is not a _single_ man, for -he has a wife and nine children!” - -The result may be imagined. Our party, very much relieved, were soon -inside, where we found four comfortable seats reserved for Gen. -Beauregard and staff, which were unoccupied from those gentlemen being -detained at Macon. - - - _Another Attempt._ - -At that city, where we were compelled to pass the night, the same state -of things existed, and with depressed spirits I drove to the cars to -see if any arrangement could be effected by which I could pursue my -journey. The road would not be opened to the traveling public for -a month, so an effort had to be made. An appeal to the authorities -resulted as I expected, in defeat, so I again tried my manœuver of -trying to interest subordinates. - -Failing, however, and baffled at every turn, while sitting again upon -my trunk, the mail agent, standing in the doorway of his car, caught -my eye. Improving the opportunity, I commenced a conversation, ending -in an insinuating appeal to be taken into the mail box. Success and -installation in his little square domicil followed, and my friend, -passing out without any explanation, locked the door on the outside. -There were no windows and no light whatever; the hour six in the -evening. - - - _Frightened at Last._ - -Seated in loneliness and darkness till the town clock struck eight, -every fear that could arise in the brain of a silly woman assailed -me. Did the train I was in go to Augusta, and if not, would I be left -where I was all night? Was the man who locked me up the mail agent? -If he came back and robbed and murdered me, would any one ever miss -me? Having had nothing to eat but a couple of biscuits in twenty-four -hours, and my brain being, in consequence, proportionately light, -imagination seized the reins from common sense, which fled in the -presence of utter darkness and loneliness. - -At last the key turned in the lock, and the light of a lantern -dispelled some of my terrors. The cars started and the agent commenced -sorting his letters, first bolting us in securely. A couple of hours -passed and my mind was gradually losing its tone of unpleasant doubt -as to the wisdom of my proceedings, when my busy companion knocked off -work and essayed to play the agreeable. He was communicative in the -extreme, giving me his biography, which proved him to be a Connecticut -man, and very much dissatisfied with the Confederacy, particularly -with the state of the money market. So long as he kept to his -personal recollections all was right, but he soon claimed a return of -confidence, and grew hourly more patronizing and conversational. His -tone and manner, the loneliness of the position, and the impossibility -of any fortunate interruption occurring becoming unbearable at last, -there is no knowing what I might have ventured to do, in the way of -breaking out, if the cars had not fortunately run off the track. - - - _All’s well that ends well._ - -On we bumped, happily on level ground, for two minutes or more; the -engineer entirely unconscious of the fact and no way of communicating -with him, as the soldiers were lying over the rope on the top of -the cars, so that pulling was in vain. At last a pause, and then a -crowd, and then a familiar name was called, most welcome to my ears. -I repeated it aloud until the owner was by my side, and the rest of -the night was spent in asking questions and receiving information. At -daylight he left me to rejoin his command, while we continued on to -Augusta. - -As usual, when we arrived there no vehicle of any kind met us at the -depot, but being the only woman in the cars, the mail driver offered -me a seat upon the mail-bags, and as it was raining I accepted, and in -this august style reached the hotel by breakfast time. All military -suspension ceased here, but there was detention for two hours, and this -was enlivened by an amusing episode at the depot. - - - _Up-country Georgia Eloquence._ - -Directly in front of me sat an old Georgia up-country woman, placidly -regarding the box cars full of men on the parallel rails, waiting like -ourselves to start. She knitted and gazed, and at last inquired “who -was them ar soldiers, and whar was they a-going to?” The information -that they were Yankee prisoners startled her considerably. The knitting -ceased abruptly (all the old women in the Southern States knitted socks -for the soldiers while traveling), and the Cracker bonnet of dark brown -homespun was thrown back violently, for her whole nervous system seemed -to have received a galvanic shock. Then she caught her breath with a -long gasp, lifted on high her thin, trembling hand, accompanied by the -trembling voice, and made them a speech: - -“Ain’t you ashamed of you-uns,” she piped, “a-coming down here -a-spiling our country, and a-robbing our hen-roosts? What did we ever -do to you-uns that you should come a-killing our brothers and sons? -Ain’t you ashamed of you-uns? What for do you want us to live with -you-uns, you poor white trash? I ain’t got a single nigger that would -be so mean as to force himself where he warn’t wanted, and what do -we-uns want with you? Ain’t you——” but here came a roar of laughter -from both cars, and shaking with excitement the old lady pulled down -her spectacles, which in the excitement she had pushed up on her -forehead, and tried in vain to resume her labors with uncertain fingers. - - - _General Desolation._ - -From here to Richmond there occurred the usual detentions and trials -of railroad travel under the existing circumstances. The windows of -the cars were broken out in many places. Sometimes no fire for want of -stoves, and the nights damp and chilly. All in utter darkness, for the -lamps were gone, and could they have been replaced, there would have -been no oil. - - - _A Woman has an Opinion._ - -We crawled along, stopping every hour almost, to tinker up some -part of the car or the road, getting out at times when the conductor -announced that the travelers must walk “a spell or two,” meaning from -one to five miles. Crowds of women were getting in and out all the way, -the male passengers grumbling aloud that “women had better stay at -home, they had no business to be running around in such times.” This -was said so often that it became very unpleasant, till the tables were -turned early one morning at Gainsborough, when a large-sized female -made her way along the center of the car, looking from right to left in -the vain search for a seat. None being vacant, she stopped short, and -addressed the astonished male passengers with more vigor than elegance: -“What for pity sake do you men mean by running all around the country -for, instead of staying in the field, as you ought to do? You keep -filling up the cars so that a woman can’t attend to her business. Your -place should be opposite the enemy.” This diversion on our behalf was -received silently, but many seats were soon vacated by their occupants -on the plea of “taking a little smoke.” - - - _Beaten at Last._ - -At last, the 1st of November found me weary, hungry, cold and exhausted -by travel at the Richmond depot, four hours after schedule time; with -that most terrible scourge, a bad, nervous headache racking me all -over. The crowd around was immense, so that by the time it opened and -dispersed sufficiently to let me make my way through, every vehicle had -left, if there had ever been any there before. As usual, my telegram -had not been received, so there was no one to meet me, and pain -rendering me indifferent to appearances I quietly spread my shawl upon -a bench and myself upon it. For how long I cannot say, but I was roused -by a voice asking what I wanted, and what was the matter? “Any kind -of a vehicle to take me home,” was the answer. After a few moments’ -delay my new friend returned with the information that there was only -a market cart, which if I was willing to ride in, was for hire. If it -had been a hearse it would have been hailed with welcome. My two trunks -were put on, and I was deposited on them. The hour, eleven at night. - - - _One of our Future Presidents._ - -I looked first at the horse. He had a shadowy gray skin stretched -over his prominent bones, and in the dim, misty light, seemed a mere -phantom. The driver next came under observation. A little dried-up, -gray black, old darkey, with a brown rag tied around his head, but like -all his species he was kindly disposed and respectful. Directions were -given him to drive to a friend’s house. He said that his horse was too -tired, but if I were willing, he had another “at his place,” where he -would drive me and change. - -Quite willing, or rather too weary to assert any authority, so on -we rumbled and rattled almost twice the distance I was first bound, -changed one skeleton for another, and started again for my friend’s -house. At last the blessed haven was reached, but the sight of a new -face to my summons at the door made my heart sink. She had “moved -yesterday.” - -“Drive to Miss G.’s house,” was my next direction, intending to throw -myself upon her hospitality and charity for the night, for we were out -of the way of all hotels. - -The same result on application. Had all Richmond moved? The fresh air, -and the necessity for exertion in this novel position had routed my -headache, and now gave me courage to make a proposition I hadn’t dared -to make before. - - - _Compromises._ - -“Could not you drive me to the hospital on the hill?” was my demand -made in most ingratiating tones. - -The old man untied the rag from off his head, and smoothed it on his -knee by way of ironing out the creases and assisting reflection; -replaced it, taking up the reins again before he answered, for we were -now at a stand-still at the Broad street hill. - -“Missis,” said he solemnly, “de way it is long, and de bridges dey is -rotten; but ef you is not afeared to dribe ober dem by you-self, and -let me git out, and pay me ten dollars, de ole hoss might be consarned -to go up dis yere hill.” - -The bargain was struck, and the hospital reached after midnight. The -key of my apartments sent for, when the duplicate hair that at last -broke the camel’s back was laid upon mine. - -“Miss G. had taken it with her.” - -“Bring a carpenter,” I cried desperately; “and tell him to get a -sledge-hammer and knock down, or in, anything that will let me get into -the place. I _must_ have rest.” - -The door was broken open; a fire was kindled; a delicious piece of -cold hard corn-bread found and devoured, and when the warm covering of -the first bed I had slept in for ten days was drawn around me, all the -troubles of a hard world melted away, and the only real happiness on -earth, entire exemption from mental and bodily pain, took possession of -me. - - ———— - - - _And Comparisons._ - -I noticed on my return a great difference in the means of living -between Virginia and the Gulf States. Even in the most wealthy and -luxurious houses in Richmond, former everyday comforts had about this -time become luxuries, and had been dispensed with earlier in the war. - -Farther south, they still received from Nassau what they needed, always -running the risks of losing the cargoes of the blockade-runners, -therefore duplicating orders. Tea and coffee were first given up at -the capital, then many used corn flour,—wheat was so high. Gradually -butter disappeared from the breakfast table, and brown sugar when -it reached twenty dollars a pound shared the same fate. But no such -economy appeared necessary where I had been. The air of the people in -the cars and around the railroad stations was hopeful in the extreme. -There was no doubt expressed even at this late day, the November of -1864, as to the ultimate success of the Southern cause. - -Their hospitals though did not compare with those I had left in -Virginia, either in arrangement, cleanliness or attendance. Even as -early as 1862 the matrons’ places there had been filled by ladies of -education and refinement; but this with a few exceptions had been the -rule in Virginia only, and such supervision made a marked difference, -as may be supposed. - - - _Entire Resumption._ - -During my absence, the greater portion of the patients I had left a -month previously had either recovered and left, or died, so that it -was awkward to resume my duties among strangers. A few days’ visiting -rectified this however. The happiest welcome I got was from Miss G., -who resigned the key of the liquor closet with a sigh which spoke -volumes. From what could be gathered, she had been equal to the -occasion, and knowing the hardships of her dragonship I did not press -her strenuously upon points connected with it. - - - _Christmas Festivities._ - -The health of the army was now so good, that except when the wounded -were sent in, we were comparatively idle. That terrible scourge, -pneumonia, so prevalent early in the war, and so fatal in its typhoid -form, had almost disappeared. The men had become accustomed and inured -to exposure. Christmas passed pleasantly. The hospital fund (from the -great depreciation of the money) being too small to allow us to make -much festive preparation, the ladies of the city drove out in carriages -and ambulances laden with good things. The previous years we had been -enabled to give out of the expenditure of our own funds a bowl of -egg-nogg and a slice of cake, for lunch, to every man in the hospital, -as well as his portion of turkey and oysters for dinner; but times were -more stringent now. - - - _Discussions regarding the Hero._ - -Soon after New Year, 1865, some members of the committee on hospital -affairs called to see me, desirous of getting some information -regarding the use or abuse of liquor, before the bill for the -appropriations for the coming year would be introduced. There were -doubts afloat as to whether the benefit conferred upon the patients by -the use of stimulants counterbalanced the evil effects they produced -on the surgeons, who were in the habit of making use of them when they -could get them. - -The problem was difficult to solve. A case in point had lately come -under my observation. A man had been brought into our hospital with a -crushed ankle, the cars having run over it. He had been attended to, -and the leg put in splints before we had received him, so as he was -still heavy and drowsy, possibly from some anodyne administered, the -surgeon in attendance ordered him to be left undisturbed. The nurse in -a few hours came to me to say that the man was suffering intensely. -He had a burning fever, and complained of the fellow leg instead of -the injured one. The natural idea of sympathy occurred, and a sedative -given which failed in producing any effect. I determined to look at it -in spite of orders, his sufferings appearing so great, and finding the -foot and leg above and below the splint perfectly well, the thought -of examining the fellow leg suggested itself. It was a most shocking -sight—swollen, inflamed and purple—the drunken surgeon had set the -wrong leg! The pain induced low fever, which eventually assumed a -typhoid form, and the man died. With this instance fresh in my memory -I hesitated to give any opinion in favor, and yet felt we could not -manage without the liquor. However, the appropriation was made. - - - _Scribbled Eggs and Flitters._ - -This poor fellow was the most dependent patient I ever had, and though -entirely uneducated, won his way to my sympathies by his entire -helplessness and belief in the efficacy of my care and advice. No -surgeon in the hospital could persuade him to swallow anything in the -shape of food unless I sanctioned the order, and a few kindly words, or -an encouraging nod would satisfy and please him. His ideas of luxuries -were curious, and his answer to my daily inquiries of what he could -fancy for food, was invariably the same—he would like some “scribbled -eggs and flitters.” This order was complied with three times daily, -until the doctor prescribed stronger food and though many dainties -were substituted, he still called them by the same name, leading me to -suppose that “scribbled eggs and flitters” was his generic term for -food. - - - _Un-chew-able Food._ - -I made him some jelly—Confederate jelly—with the substitution of -whiskey for Madeira wine, and citric acid for lemons, but he said “he -did not like it, there was no chewing on it,” and “it all went, he did -not know where!” so I gave up trying to tempt his palate. - - ———— - - - _Culinary Mortifications._ - -When whole wards would be emptied of their occupants, in compliance -with changes made to suit certain views of the surgical department, and -strangers put in, I would always feel a great repugnance to visiting -them. But when the change became gradual, by the convalescents, in -twos or threes or half-dozens, being exchanged for invalids, there -would always be enough men left to whom I was known, to make me feel -at home, and to inform the newcomers why I came among them, and what -my duties were. I now found my hospital filled with strangers. They -were not so considerate as my old friends had been, and looked rather -with suspicion upon my daily visits. One man amused me particularly by -keeping a portion of his food every day for my special and agreeable -inspection, as he thought, and my particular annoyance, as I felt. A -specimen of everything he thought unpalatable was deposited under his -pillow, to await my arrival, and the greeting invariably given me was: - -“Do you call that good bread?” - -“Well no, not very good: but the flour is very dark and musty.” - -Another day he would draw out a handfull of dry rice. - -“Do you call _that_ properly boiled?” - -“That is the way we boil rice in Carolina. Each grain must be -separated.” - -“Well! I won’t eat mine boiled that way.” - - - _Pickles_ versus _Homespun._ - -And so on through all the details of his food. Somebody he felt -was responsible, and unfortunately he determined that I should be -the scapegoat. His companion who laid by his side was even more -disagreeable than he was. Being a terrible pickle consumer, he indulged -in such extreme dissipation in that luxury that a check had to be -put upon his appetite. He attacked me upon this grievance the first -chance he found, and listened scornfully to my remarks that pickles -were luxuries to be eaten sparingly and used carefully. “Perhaps,” -he said at last, “we would have more pickles if you had fewer new -dresses.” There was no doubt that I wore a new homespun dress, but what -connection it had with the pickles was rather mysterious. However, that -afternoon came a formal apology, written in quite an elegant style, and -signed by every man in the ward, except the pickle man, in which the -fault of this cruel speech was laid upon the bad whiskey. - - ———— - - - _Beginning of the End._ - -All this winter of ’64, the city had been unusually gay. Besides -parties, private theatricals and tableaux were constantly exhibited. -Wise and thoughtful men disapproved openly of this mad gayety. There -was certainly a painful discrepancy between the excitement of dancing -and the rumble of ambulances that could be heard in the momentary lull -of the music, carrying the wounded to the different hospitals. Young -men advocated this state of affairs, arguing that after the fatigues -and dangers of a campaign in the field, some relaxation was necessary -on their visits to the capital. - -To thinking people this recklessness was ominous; and by the end of -February, 1865, it began to be felt by them that all was not as safe -as it was supposed to be. The incessant moving of troops through the -city from one point to another proved weakness, and the scarcity of -rations issued told a painful tale. People rated the inefficiency -of the commissary department, and predicted that a change in its -administration would make all right. Soon afterwards the truth was told -me in confidence and under promise of strict secresy. Richmond would -be evacuated in a month or six weeks. The time might be lengthened or -shortened, but the fact was established. - - - _Agitations._ - -Then came the packing up, quietly but surely, of the different -departments. Requisitions on the medical purveyor were returned -unfilled, and an order from the surgeon-general required that herbs -instead of licensed medicines should be used in the hospitals. There -was a great deal of merriment elicited from the “yarb teas,” drawn -during this time by the surgeons; few knowing the sad cause of their -substitution. My mind had been very unsettled as to my course of action -in view of the impending crash, but my duty prompted me to remain with -my sick, on the ground that no general ever deserts his troops. But -to be left by all my friends to meet the dangers and privations of an -invested city, among antagonistic influences, with the prospect of -being turned out of my office the next day after the surrender, was not -a cheering one. Even my home would no longer be open to me; for staying -with a cabinet minister, he would leave with the government. I was -spared the necessity of decision by the sudden attack of General Grant, -and the breaking of the Confederate lines, and before there was time to -think at all, the government and all its train had vanished. - - ———— - - - _History._ - -On the 2nd of April, 1865, while the congregation of Dr. Minnegarode’s -church in Richmond were listening to his Sunday sermon, a messenger -entered and handed a telegram to Mr. Davis, then president of the -Confederate States, who rose immediately, and without any visible signs -of agitation or surprise, left the church. No alarm was exhibited -by the congregation, though several members of the president’s -staff followed him, till Dr. Minnegarode brought the service to an -abrupt close, and informed his started flock that the city would be -evacuated shortly, and they would only exercise a proper degree of -prudence by going home immediately, and preparing for the event. This -announcement, although coming from such a reliable source, hardly -availed to convince the Virginians that their beloved capital, assailed -so often, defended so bravely, surrounded by fortifications on which -the engineering talents of their best officers had been expended, was -to be capitulated. Some months before, a small number admitted behind -the vail of the temple had been apprised that the sacrifice was to be -accomplished; that General Lee had again and again urged Mr. Davis to -yield this Mecca of his heart to the interests of the Confederacy, and -resign a city which required an army to hold it, and pickets to be -posted from thirty to forty miles around it, weakening his depleted -army; and again and again had the iron will triumphed, and the foe, -beaten and discomfited, retired for fresh combinations and fresh troops. - -But the hour had come, and the evacuation was only a question of time. -Day and night had the whistle of cars proved to the anxious people that -brigades were being moved to strengthen this point or defend that; -and no one was able to say exactly where any portion of the army of -Virginia was stationed. That Grant would make an effort to strike the -South-side railroad—the main artery for the conveyance of food to the -city—every one _knew_; and that General Lee would be able to meet the -effort and check it, everybody _hoped_, and while this hope lasted -there was no panic. - -The telegram which reached Mr. Davis that Sunday morning, was to the -effect that the enemy _had_ struck, and on the weakest point of the -Confederate lines. It told him to be prepared in event of the repulse -failing. Two hours after came the fatal news that Grant had forced -his way through, and that the city must instantly be evacuated. What -is meant by that simple sentence “evacuation of the city” but few can -imagine who have not experienced it. The officials of the various -departments hurried to their offices, speedily packing up everything -connected with the government. The quartermaster’s and commissary’s -stores were thrown open and thousands of the half-starved and half-clad -people of Richmond rushed to the scene. - - - _Picture of the Times._ - -Delicate women tottered under the weight of hams, bags of coffee, flour -and sugar. Invalided officers carried away articles of unaccustomed -luxury for sick wives and children at home. Every vehicle was in -requisition, commanding fabulous remuneration, and gold or silver the -only currency accepted. The immense concourse of government employes, -speculators, gamblers, strangers, pleasure and profit lovers of all -kinds that had been attached to that great center, the Capital, were -“packing,” while those who had determined to stay and await the chances -of war, tried to look calmly on, and draw courage from their faith in -the justness of their cause. - - - _The Departure._ - -The wives and families of Mr. Davis and his cabinet had been sent -away some weeks previously, so that no provision had been made for the -transportation of any particular class of people. All the cars that -could be collected were at the Fredericksburg depot, and by 3 o’clock -P. M. the trains commenced to move. The scene at the station was of -indescribable confusion. No one could afford to abandon any article of -wear or household use, when going where they knew that nothing could -be replaced. Baggage was as valuable as life, and life was represented -there by wounded and sick officers and men, helpless women and -children, for all who could be with the army were at their post. - -Hour after hour fled and still the work went on. The streets were -strewn with torn papers, records and documents too burdensome to -carry away, too important to be left for inspection, and people still -thronged the thoroughfares, loaded with stores until then hoarded by -the government and sutler shops. - -The scream and rumble of the cars never ceased all that weary night, -and was perhaps the most painful sound to those left behind, for all -the rest of the city seemed flying; but while the center of Richmond -was in the wildest confusion, so sudden had been the shock that the -suburbs were quiet and even ignorant of the scenes enacting in the -heart of the city. Events crowded so rapidly upon each other that no -one had time to spread reports. - - - _Burning of the City._ - -There was no change in the appearance of the surroundings till near -midnight, when the school-ship, the _Patrick Henry_, formerly the old -United States ship _Yorktown_, was fired at the wharf at Rocketts -(the extreme eastern end of the city). The blowing up of her magazine -seemed the signal for the work of destruction to commence. Explosions -followed from all points. The warehouses and tobacco manufactories -were fired, communicating the flames to the adjacent houses and shops, -and soon Main street was in a blaze. The armory, not intended to be -burnt, either caught accidentally or was fired by mistake; the shells -exploding and filling the air with hissing sounds of horror, menacing -the people in every direction. Colonel Gorgas had endeavored to spike -or destroy them by rolling them into the canal, and but for this -precaution with the largest, the city would have been almost leveled -to the dust. - - - _Last Scenes._ - -No one slept during that night of horror, for added to the present -scenes were the anticipations of what the morrow would bring forth. -Daylight dawned upon a wreck of destruction and desolation. From the -highest point of Church hill and Libby hill, the eye could range over -the whole extent of city and country—the fire had not abated, and -the burning bridges were adding their flame and smoke to the scene. -A single faint explosion could be heard from the distance at long -intervals, but the _Patrick Henry_ was low to the water’s edge and -Drewry but a column of smoke. The whistle of the cars and the rushing -of the laden trains still continued—they had never ceased—and the -clouds hung low and draped the scene as morning advanced. - - - _Taking Possession._ - -Before the sun had risen, two carriages rolled along Main street, and -passed through Rocketts just under Chimborazo hospital, carrying the -mayor and corporation towards the Federal lines, to deliver the keys -of the city, and half an hour afterwards, over to the east, a single -Federal blue-jacket rose above the hill, standing transfixed with -astonishment at what he saw. Another and another sprang up as if out -of the earth, but still all remained quiet. About seven o’clock, there -fell upon the ear the steady clatter of horses’ hoofs, and winding -around Rocketts, close under Chimborazo hill, came a small and compact -body of Federal cavalrymen, on horses in splendid condition, riding -closely and steadily along. They were well mounted, well accoutered, -well fed—a rare sight in Southern streets,—the advance of that vaunted -army that for four years had so hopelessly knocked at the gates of the -Southern Confederacy. - - - _Entrance of the Federal Army_ - -They were some distance in advance of the infantry who followed, quite -as well appointed and accoutered as the cavalry. Company after company, -regiment after regiment, battalion after battalion, and brigade after -brigade, they poured into the doomed city—an endless stream. One -detachment separated from the main body and marching to Battery No. 2, -raised the United States flag, their band playing the Star Spangled -Banner. There they stacked their arms. The rest marched along Main -street through fire and smoke, over burning fragments of buildings, -emerging at times like a phantom army when the wind lifted the dark -clouds; while the colored population shouted and cheered them on their -way. - -Before three hours had elapsed, the troops had been quartered and were -inspecting the city. They swarmed in every highway and byway, rose out -of gullies, appeared on the top of hills, emerged from narrow lanes, -and skirted around low fences. There was hardly a spot in Richmond not -occupied by a blue coat, but they were orderly, quiet and respectful. -Thoroughly disciplined, warned not to give offense by look or act, they -did not speak to any one unless first addressed; and though the women -of the South contrasted with sickness of heart the difference between -this splendidly-equipped army, and the war-worn, wasted aspect of their -own defenders, they were grateful for the consideration shown them; and -if they remained in their sad homes, with closed doors and windows, -or walked the streets with averted eyes and vailed faces, it was that -they could not bear the presence of invaders, even under the most -favorable circumstances. - - - _Occupation of the City._ - -Before the day was over, the public buildings were occupied by the -enemy, and the minds of the citizens relieved from all fear of -molestation. The hospitals were attended to, the ladies being still -allowed to nurse and care for their own wounded; but rations could -not be drawn yet, the obstructions in the James river preventing the -transports from coming up to the city. In a few days they arrived, and -food was issued to those in need. It had been a matter of pride among -the Southerners to boast that they had never seen a greenback, so the -entrance of the Federal army had thus found them entirely unprepared -with gold and silver currency. People who had boxes of Confederate -money and were wealthy the day previously, looked around in vain for -wherewithal to buy a loaf of bread. Strange exchanges were made on the -street of tea and coffee, flour and bacon. Those who were fortunate in -having a stock of household necessaries were generous in the extreme to -their less wealthy neighbors, but the destitution was terrible. - -The sanitary commission shops were opened, and commissioners appointed -by the Federals to visit among the people and distribute orders to draw -rations, but to effect this, after receiving tickets, required so many -appeals to different officials, that decent people gave up the effort. -Besides, the musty corn-meal and strong cod-fish were not appreciated -by fastidious stomachs—few gently nurtured could relish such unfamiliar -food. - - - _Amusements Furnished._ - -But there was no assimilation between the invaders and invaded. In -the daily newspaper a notice had appeared that the military bands -would play in the beautiful capital grounds every afternoon, but when -the appointed hour arrived, except the Federal officers, musicians -and soldiers, not a white face was to be seen. The negroes crowded -every bench and path. The next week another notice was issued that -the colored population would not be admitted; and then the absence -of everything and anything feminine was appalling. The entertainers -went alone to their own entertainment. The third week still another -notice appeared: “colored nurses were to be admitted with their white -charges,” and lo! each fortunate white baby received the cherished care -of a dozen finely-dressed black ladies, the only drawback being that in -two or three days the music ceased altogether, the entertainers feeling -at last the ingratitude of the subjugated people. - - - _Wicked Ingratitude._ - -Despite their courtesy of manner, for however despotic the acts, the -Federal authorities maintained a respectful manner—the newcomers made -no advance towards fraternity. They spoke openly and warmly of their -sympathy with the sufferings of the South, but committed and advocated -acts that the hearers could not recognize as “military necessities.” -Bravely-dressed Federal officers met their former old class-mates from -colleges and military institutions and inquired after the relatives to -whose houses they had ever been welcome in days of yore, expressing a -desire to “call and see them,” while the vacant chairs, rendered vacant -by Federal bullets, stood by the hearth of the widow and bereaved -mother. They could not be made to understand that their presence was -painful. There were few men in the city at this time; but the women of -the South still fought their battle for them: fought it resentfully, -calmly, but silently! Clad in their mourning garments, overcome but -hardly subdued, they sat within their desolate homes, or if compelled -to leave that shelter went on their errands to church or hospital with -vailed faces and swift steps. By no sign or act did the possessors of -their fair city know that they were even conscious of their presence. -If they looked in their faces they saw them not: they might have -supposed themselves a phantom army. There was no stepping aside with -affectation to avoid the contact of dress, no feigned humility in -giving the inside of the walk: they simply totally ignored their -presence. - - - _Circus and Pictorial Food._ - -Two particular characteristics followed the army in possession—the -circus and booths for the temporary accommodation of itinerant venders. -The small speculators must have supposed that there were no means of -cooking left in the city, from the quantity of canned edibles they -offered for sale. They inundated Richmond with pictorial canisters at -exorbitant prices, which no one had money to buy. Whether the supply of -greenbacks was scant, or the people were not disposed to trade with -the new-comers, they had no customers. - - - _Distinguished Visitors._ - -In a few days steamboats had made their way to the wharves, though -the obstructions still defied the ironclads, and crowds of curious -strangers thronged the pavements, while squads of mounted male -pleasure-seekers scoured the streets. Gayly-dressed women began to -pour in also, with looped-up skirts, very large feet, and a great -preponderance of spectacles. The Richmond women sitting by desolated -firesides were astonished by the arrival of former friends, sometimes -people moving in the best classes of society, who had the bad taste -to make a pleasure trip to the mourning city, calling upon their -heart-broken friends of happier days in all the finery of the newest -New York fashions, and in some instances forgiving their entertainers -the manifold sins of the last four years in formal and set terms. - - - _Miracles._ - -From the hill on which my hospital was built, I had sat all the weary -Sunday of the evacuation, watching the turmoil, and bidding friends -adieu, for even till noon many had been unconscious of the events -that were transpiring, and now when they had all departed, as night -set in, I wrapped my blanket-shawl around me, and watched below me -all that I have here narrated. Then I walked through my wards and -found them comparatively empty. Every man who could crawl had tried -to escape a Northern prison. Beds in which paralyzed, rheumatic, and -helpless patients had laid for months were empty. The miracles of the -New Testament had been re-enacted. The lame, the halt, and the blind -had been cured. Those who were compelled to remain were almost wild at -being left in what would be the enemy’s lines the next day; for in many -instances they had been exchanged prisoners only a short time before. -I gave all the comfort I could, and with some difficulty their supper -also, for my detailed nurses had gone with General Lee’s army, and my -black cooks had deserted me. - - - _Left “alone in my glory.”_ - -On Monday morning, the day after the evacuation, the first blue -uniforms appeared at our quarters—three surgeons inspecting the -hospital. As our surgeon was with them, there must have been an -amicable understanding. One of our divisions was required for use by -the new-comers, cleared out for them, and their patients laid by the -side of our own sick so that we shared with them, as my own commissary -stores were still well supplied. Three days afterwards an order came to -transfer my old patients to Camp Jackson. I protested bitterly against -this, as they were not in a fit state for removal, so they remained -unmolested. To them I devoted my time, for our surgeons had either then -left or received orders to discontinue their labors. - -Towards evening the place was deserted. Miss G. had remained up to this -time with me, but her mother requiring her presence in the city, she -left at sunset, and after I had gone through all my wards, I returned -to my dear little sitting-room, endeared by retrospection, and the -consciousness that my labors were nearly over, but had been (as far as -regarded results) in vain! - - - _Hero re-appears._ - -The Federal authorities had as yet posted no guards around, and as our -own had been withdrawn, or rather had left, being under no control or -direction, not a sound broke the stillness of the sad night. Exhausted -with all the exciting events of the day, it was not to be wondered at -that I soon fell asleep heavily and dreamlessly, to be awakened in an -hour by the crash of an adjoining door, and passing into my pantry from -whence the sound proceeded I came upon a group of men, who had burst -the entrance opening upon the back premises. As my eye traveled from -face to face, I recognized them as a set of “hospital rats” whom I had -never been able to get rid of, for if sent to the field one week, they -would be sure to be back the next, on some trifling pretext of sickness -or disability. The ringleader was an old enemy, who had stored up many -a grievance against me, but my acts of kindness to his sickly wife -naturally made me suppose his wrath had been disarmed. He acted on this -occasion as spokesman, and the trouble was the old one. Thirty gallons -of whiskey had been sent to me the day before the evacuation, and they -wanted it. - -“We have come for the whiskey!” - -“You cannot, and shall not have it.” - -“It does not belong to you.” - -“It is in my charge, and I intend to keep it. Go out of my pantry; you -are all drunk.” - -“Boys!” he said, “pick up that barrel and carry it down the hill. I -will attend to _her_!” - - - _Noli me tangere._ - -But the habit of obedience of four years still had its effect on the -boys, for all the movement they made was in a retrograde direction. - -“Wilson,” I said, “you have been in this hospital a long time. Do you -think from what you know of me that the whiskey can be taken without my -consent?” - -He became very insolent. - -“Stop that talk; your great friends have all gone, and we won’t stand -that now. Move out of the way!” - -He advanced towards the barrel, and so did I, only being in the inside, -I interposed between him and the object of contention. The fierce -temper blazed up in his face, and catching me roughly by the shoulder, -he called me a name that a decent woman seldom hears and even a wicked -one resents. - -But I had a little friend, which usually reposed quietly on the shelf, -but had been removed to my pocket in the last twenty-four hours, more -from a sense of protection than from any idea that it would be called -into active service; so before he had time to push me one inch from -my position, or to see what kind of an ally was in my hand, that sharp -click, a sound so significant and so different from any other, struck -upon his ear, and sent him back amidst his friends, pale and shaken. - - - _Victory Perches on my Banner._ - -“You had better leave,” I said, composedly (for I felt in my feminine -soul that although I was near enough to pinch his nose, that I had -missed him), “for if _one_ bullet is lost, there are five more ready, -and the room is too small for even a woman to miss six times.” - -There was a conference held at the shattered door, resulting in an -agreement to leave, but he shook his fist wrathfully at my small -pop-gun. - -“You think yourself very brave now, but wait an hour; perhaps others -may have pistols too, and you won’t have it entirely your way after -all.” - -My first act was to take the head of one of the flour barrels and nail -it across the door as tightly as I could, with a two-pound weight for -a hammer, and then, warm with triumph and victory gained, I sat down -by my whiskey barrel and felt the affection we all bestow on what we -have cherished, fought for, and defended successfully; then putting a -candle, a box of matches, and a pistol within reach of my hand, I went -to sleep, never waking until late in the morning, having heard nothing -more of my visitors. - - - _Confederate Full Dress._ - -The next day the steward informed me that our stores had been taken -possession of by the Federal authorities, so we could not draw the -necessary rations. The surgeons had all left; therefore I prepared for -a visit to headquarters, by donning my full-dress toilette: boots of -untanned leather, tied with thongs; a Georgia woven homespun dress in -black and white blocks—the white, cotton yarn, the black, an old silk, -washed, scraped with broken glass into pulp, and then carded and spun -(it was an elegant thing); white cuffs and collar of bleached homespun, -and a hat plaited of the rye straw picked from the field back of us, -dyed black with walnut juice, a shoe-string for ribbon to encircle -it; and knitted worsted gloves of three shades of green—the darkest -bottle shade being around the wrist, while the color tapered to the -loveliest blossom of the pea at the finger-tips. The style of the make -was Confederate. - - - _Casus belli._ - -Thus splendidly equipped I walked to Dr. M.’s office, now Federal -headquarters, and making my way through a crowd of blue coats, accosted -the principal figure seated there, with a stern and warlike demand for -food, and a curt inquiry whether it was their intention to starve their -captured sick. He was very polite, laid the blame on the obstructions -in the river, which prevented their transports getting up. I requested -that as such was the case I might be allowed to reclaim my ambulance, -now under their lock and key, in order to take some coffee then in my -possession to the city and exchange it for animal food. It had been -saved from rations formerly drawn, and donations given. He wished to -know why it had not been turned over to the U. S. government, but -did not press the point as I was not communicative, and gave me the -necessary order for the vehicle. Then polite conversation commenced. - - - _The Law of Nations._ - -“Was I a native of Virginia?” - -“No; I was a South Carolinian, who had gone to Virginia at the -commencement of the war to try and aid in alleviating the sufferings -and privations of the hospitals.” - -“He had lost a brother in South Carolina.” - -“It was the fate of war. Self-preservation was the first law of nature. -As a soldier he must recognize defense of one’s native soil.” - -“He regretted the present state of scarcity, for he could see in the -pale faces and pinched features of the Richmond women, how much they -had suffered during the war.” - -I retorted quickly this wound to both patriotism and vanity. - -He meant to be polite, but that he was unlucky was shown by my answer. - -“If my features were pinched, and my face pale, it was not caused by -privations under the Confederacy, but the anguish consequent upon our -failure.” - -But his kindness had once again put my ambulance under my control, and -placing a bag of coffee and a demijohn of whiskey in it, I assumed -the reins, having no driver, and went to market. The expedition was -successful, as I returned shortly with a live calf, for which I had -exchanged them, and which summoned every one within hearing by its -bellowing. I had quite won the heart of the Vermonter who had been -sentry at my door, and though patriotic souls may not believe me, he -paid me many compliments at the expense of the granite ladies of his -State. The compliments were sincere, as he refused the drink of whiskey -my gratitude offered him. - - - _Liberty or Death._ - -My next visit was to the commissary department of my hospital in search -of sugar. Two Federal guards were in charge, but they simply stared -with astonishment as I put aside their bayonets and unlocked the door -of the place with my pass-key, filled my basket, with an explanation to -them that I could be arrested whenever wanted at my quarters. - -After this no one opposed my erratic movements, the new-comers ignoring -me. No explanation was ever given to me, why I was allowed to come and -go, nurse my men and feed them with all I could take or steal. All I -ever gathered was from one of our errand-boys, who had fraternized with -a Yankee sutler, who told him confidentially that the Federal surgeon -in charge thought that woman in black had better go home, and added on -his own responsibility, “He’s awful afraid of her.” - - - _At Last!_ - -Away I was compelled to go at last, for my sick were removed to another -hospital, where I still attended to them. There congregated the ladies -of the neighborhood, bringing what delicacies they could gather, and -nursing indiscriminately any patient who needed care. This continued -till all the sick were either convalescent or dead, and at last my -vocation was gone, and not one invalid left to give me a pretext for -daily occupation. - -And now when the absorbing duties of the last years no longer demanded -my whole thoughts and attention, the difficulties of my own position -forced themselves upon my mind. Whatever food had been provided -for the sick since the Federal occupation had served for my small -needs, but when my duties ceased I found myself with a box full of -Confederate money and a silver ten-cent piece; perhaps a Confederate -_gage d’amitie_; which puzzled me how to expend. It was all I had for -a support, so I bought a box of matches and five cocoa-nut cakes. The -wisdom of the purchase there is no need of defending. Should any -one ever be in a strange country where the currency of which he is -possessed is valueless, and ten cents be his only available funds, -perhaps he may be able to judge of the difficulty of expending it with -judgment. - - - _The Mother of States._ - -But of what importance was the fact that I was houseless, homeless -and moneyless, in Richmond, the heart of Virginia? Who ever wanted -for aught that kind hearts, generous hands or noble hospitality could -supply, that it was not there offered without even the shadow of a -patronage that could have made it distasteful? What women were ever so -refined in feeling and so unaffected in manner; so willing to share all -that wealth gives, and so little infected with the pride of purse that -bestows that power? It was difficult to hide one’s needs from them; -they found them out and ministered to them with their quiet simplicity -and the innate nobility which gave to their generosity the coloring of -a favor received; not conferred. - - - _My Thanks._ - -I laughed carelessly and openly at the disregard shown by myself for -the future, when every one who had remained in Richmond, apparently -had laid aside stores for daily food, but they detected with quick -sympathy the hollowness of the mirth, and each day at every hour of -breakfast, dinner and supper, would come to me a waiter, borne by the -neat little Virginia maid (in her white apron), filled with ten times -the quantity of food I could consume, packed carefully on. Sometimes -boxes would be left at my door, with packages of tea, coffee, sugar and -ham, or chicken, and no clue given to the thoughtful and kind donor. - -Would that I could do more than thank the dear friends who made my -life for four years so happy and contented; who never made me feel by -word or act, that my self-imposed occupation was otherwise than one -which would ennoble any woman. If ever any aid was given through my own -exertions, or any labor rendered effective by me for the good of the -South—if any sick soldier ever benefited by my happy face or pleasant -smiles at his bedside, or death was ever soothed by gentle words of -hope and tender care, such results were only owing to the cheering -encouragement I received from them. - - - _And Gratitude._ - -They were gentlewomen in every sense of the word, and though they might -not have remembered that “_noblesse oblige_” they felt and acted up to -the motto in every act of their lives. My only wish was to live and die -among them, growing each day better from contact with their gentle, -kindly sympathies and heroic hearts. - -It may never be in my power to do more than offer my heartfelt thanks, -which may reach their once happy homes; and in closing these simple -reminiscences of hospital experience, let me beg them to believe -that whatever kindness my limited powers have conferred on the noble -soldiers of their State, has been repaid tenfold, leaving with me an -eternal, but grateful obligation. - - ———— - - - _The End._ - -There is one subject connected with hospitals on which a few words -should be said—the distasteful one that a woman must lose a certain -amount of delicacy and reticence in filling any office in them. How can -this be? There is no unpleasant exposure under proper arrangements, and -if even there be, the circumstances which surround a wounded man, far -from friends and home, suffering in a holy cause and dependent upon a -woman for help, care and sympathy, hallow and clear the atmosphere in -which she labors. That woman must indeed be hard and gross, who lets -one material thought lessen her efficiency. In the midst of suffering -and death, hoping with those almost beyond hope in this world; praying -by the bedside of the lonely and heart-stricken; closing the eyes of -boys hardly old enough to realize man’s sorrows, much less suffer by -man’s fierce hate, a woman _must_ soar beyond the conventional modesty -considered correct under different circumstances. - -If the ordeal does not chasten and purify her nature, if the -contemplation of suffering and endurance does not make her wiser and -better, and if the daily fire through which she passes does not draw -from her nature the sweet fragrance of benevolence, charity, and -love,—then, indeed a hospital has been no fit place for her! - - -FOOTNOTE: - -[1] Richard Hammond Key, grandson of Francis Barton Key, author of -“Star Spangled Banner.” - - - - - * * * * * * - - - - -Transcriber’s note: - -Obvious punctuation errors have been corrected. - -Other errors have been corrected as follows: - - Page 75 – “unconsious” changed to “unconscious” (I sat by the boy, - unconscious himself that any) - - Page 105 – “Petersburgh” changed to “Petersburg” (blowing up of the - mine at Petersburg) - - Page 118 – “to go their” changed to “to go to their” (if allowed to - go to their families) - - Page 129 – “Missisippi” changed to “Mississippi” (down in Mississippi) - - Page 139 – “Fredericksburgh” changed to “Fredericksburg” (at the - Fredericksburg station) - - Page 166 – “started” changed to “startled” (informed his startled - flock) - - Page 167 – “made” changed to “make” (That Grant would make an effort) - - Page 174 – “neighbers” changed to “neighbors” (less wealthy neighbors) - -Obsolete spelling that was common for its time has been retained. -Variations in hyphenation have been regularised if a generally agreed -usage was observed but left unchanged otherwise. - -Page headers that appear in the book are included in this transcribed -text as section headings. - -The single footnote has been re-indexed using a number and moved to the -end of the book. - -The cover image was created by Thiers Halliwell and is placed in the -public domain. - - - -***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SOUTHERN WOMAN'S STORY*** - - -******* This file should be named 63870-0.txt or 63870-0.zip ******* - - -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: -http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/6/3/8/7/63870 - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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