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-The Project Gutenberg eBook, A Southern Woman's Story, by Phœbe Yates
-Pember
-
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-
-Title: A Southern Woman's Story
-
-
-Author: Phœbe Yates Pember
-
-
-
-Release Date: November 24, 2020 [eBook #63870]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-
-***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SOUTHERN WOMAN'S STORY***
-
-
-E-text prepared by Quentin Campbell and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) from page images generously made
-available by the Google Books Library Project (https://books.google.com)
-
-
-
-Note: Images of the original pages are available through
- the Google Books Library Project. See
- https://books.google.com/books?id=3wY_aZZT_9cC&hl=en
-
-
-Transcriber’s note:
-
- Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_).
-
- Small capitals in the original text have been transcribed as
- ALL CAPITALS.
-
- See the end of this document for details of corrections and
- changes.
-
-
-
-
-
-A SOUTHERN WOMAN’S STORY
-
-by
-
-PHŒBE YATES PEMBER,
-
-
-[Illustration – Carleton & Co. colophon – Arabic calligraphy
-meaning ‘book’]
-
-
-
-
-
-
-New York:
-Copyright, 1879, by
-G. W. Carleton & Co., Publishers.
-London: S. Low, Son & Co.
-MDCCCLXXIX.
-
- Samuel Stodder, Trow
- Stereotyper, Printing and Book Binding Co.
-90 Ann Street, N. Y. N. Y.
-
-
-
-
- _Whatsoever is beginning that is done by human skill,
- Every daring emanation of the mind’s imperfect will;
- Every first impulse of passion, gush of love or twinge of hate;
- Every launch upon the waters, wide horizoned by our fate;
- Every venture in the chances of life’s sad, aye, desperate game;
- Whatsoever be our object, whatsoever be our aim—
- ’Tis well we cannot see
- What the end will be._
-
-
-
-
- CONTENTS.
- ——————
-
- PAGE
-
- _Introduction—Women of the South—Startling Proposition—First
- Appearance on any Stage—Petticoat Government—Dull, but
- necessary Details—Initiation—“Great Oaks from little Acorns
- grow”—Partnership with Jim—A First Venture—“A Rose by any
- other name,” &c.—Snubbed—His Mammy’s Soup—Dissolved Partnership
- with Jim—Explanations—Routine—Mr. Jones’ Views—“Sufficient for
- the Day,” &c.—Introduction of Hero—Introduction of Hero, The
- Whiskey Barrel—The Hero Captured—Jones’ Indignation,_ 11
-
- _Wanted, A Dose of Grammar—Our Daily Trials—The Ishmaelite—Mrs.
- Marthy Brown’s Son—A Circular Letter—My First Proposal—
- Compliments—More flattering than agreeable—Compliments again—
- Love unto Death—The Silver Cord loosened—A Sweet Pur-ta-a-tur-r
- —Sober Ladies wanted—Delicate Sensibilities—More of them—Free
- and Equal American Servant Ladies—Sociable Spittoon—Possession
- Nine and Half Points of Law—Vi et armis—Spirit of ’63—Not “A
- Ministering Angel, thou”—Work—First Essay—Results—Where the
- Weary are at Rest—“An only Son, and my Mother a Widow,”_ 30
-
- _Home Cares and Affections—If not my Son, then another Mother’s—
- Sacred Feelings and bad Grammar—Sad Letters—Virginians—Antagonism
- —The wicked Marylanders—Troublesome Customers—Good Wine needs no
- Bush—Annoyances—Woman’s Wit wins—The Flesh-pots of Egypt,_ 60
-
- _Anxieties—No Hope in this World—Dead,_ 73
-
- _State Peculiarities and Differences—Tar-Heel Tastes—Babies even
- give up Milk—Our Little Romance—Loved and Lost,_ 76
-
- _The Conquering Hero comes again—The Hero again—Rats, Hopeless
- Inebriates—What Constitutes a Lady?—The Hero again,—and again—
- Military Law Declared—Five Minutes’ Grace—The Tables Turned
- —Concise, but not Clear—A Storm Brewing—Diplomatic Correspondence
- —Confusion of Tenses—How History is made—Non-intervention—Amende,_ 82
-
- _Sadness and Doubts—Sorrow and Privation—No Change—Educated Rats—Rat
- Surgeon—Novel Style of catching them,_ 98
-
- _No Personal Animosities—The Bitter Blood—A Common Sight—A
- Looking-Glass Wanted—Vaccination—Prisoners of War—Unwelcome
- Visitors—An Unexpected Gathering—Counterchecks—Checkmated—
- Unexpected and Unwelcome Visitor—What shall I do with it?—As
- Godmother—Home-Sickness,_ 104
-
- _Spring Operations—Unpleasant Truths—Cast your bread upon the
- waters—Draw the Vail down—A Common Story—A Strange Experience—“We
- left him alone in his Glory”—Intense Anxiety—Saved,_ 119
-
- _Itinerary Labors—A Rose by any other Name—Not among the
- Compliments—New Uses for the Bible—Camp Fashions—Life was so
- Sweet—Difficult Responsibilities—Failures—Erin-go-bragh—Whiskey_
- versus _Religion,_ 127
-
- _My Furlough—Off—A Strong-Minded Failure—A Hard Road to Travel—
- Services not Required—Friend to the “Faymales”—A Bold Attempt—
- None but the Fair deserve the Brave—Importance of hair-pins—
- Another Attempt—Frightened at last—All’s Well that ends Well—
- Up-Country Georgia Eloquence—General Desolation—A Woman has an
- Opinion—Beaten at Last—One of our Future Presidents—Compromises,_ 137
-
- _Comparisons—Entire Resumption—Christmas Festivities—Discussions
- regarding the Hero—Scribbled Eggs and Flitters—Un-chewable Food,_ 156
-
- _Culinary Mortifications—Pickles_ versus _Homespun,_ 161
-
- _Beginning of the End—Agitations—History—Picture of the Times—The
- Departure—Burning of the City—Last Scenes—Taking Possession—
- Entrance of the Federal Army—Occupation of the City—Amusements
- Furnished—Wicked Ingratitude—Circus and Pictorial Food—
- Distinguished Visitors—Miracles—Left “alone in my glory”—Hero
- re-appears—Noli me tangere—Victory Perches on my Banner—
- Confederate Full Dress—Casus belli—The Law of Nations—Liberty or
- Death—At Last!—The Mother of States—My Thanks—And Gratitude,_ 163
-
- _The End,_ 191
-
-
-[Illustration – Decorative scroll work at top of page]
-
-
-
-
- A
-
- SOUTHERN WOMAN’S STORY.
-
-
- _Introduction._
-
-Soon after the breaking out of the Southern war, the need of hospitals,
-properly organized and arranged, began to be felt, and buildings
-adapted for the purpose were secured by government. Richmond, being
-nearest the scene of action, took the lead in this matter, and the
-formerly hastily contrived accommodations for the sick were soon
-replaced by larger, more comfortable and better ventilated buildings.
-
-The expense of keeping up small hospitals had forced itself upon the
-attention of the surgeon-general, Moore, who on that account gradually
-incorporated them into half-a-dozen immense establishments, strewn
-around the suburbs. These were called Camp Jackson, Camp Winder,
-Chimborazo Hospital, Stuart Hospital and Howard Grove; and were
-arranged so that from thirty to forty wards formed a division, and
-generally five divisions a hospital. Each ward accommodated from thirty
-to forty patients, according to the immediate need for space. Besides
-the sick wards, similar buildings were used for official purposes, for
-in these immense establishments every necessary trade was carried on.
-There were the carpenter’s, blacksmith’s, apothecary’s and shoemaker’s
-shops; the ice houses, commissary’s and quartermaster’s departments;
-and offices for surgeons, stewards, baggage-masters and clerks. Each
-division was furnished with all these, and each hospital presented to
-the eye the appearance of a small village.
-
-There was no reason why, with this preparation for the wounded and
-sick, that they should not have received all the benefit of good
-nursing and food; but soon rumors began to circulate that there was
-something wrong in hospital administration, and Congress, desirous of
-remedying omissions, passed a law by which matrons were appointed.
-They had no official recognition, ranking even below stewards from
-a military point of view. Their pay was almost nominal from the
-depreciated nature of the currency. There had been a great deal of
-desultory visiting and nursing, by the women, previous to this law
-taking effect, resulting in more harm than benefit to the patients; and
-now that the field was open, a few, very few ladies, and a great many
-inefficient and uneducated women, hardly above the laboring classes,
-applied for and filled the offices.
-
-
- _Women of the South._
-
-The women of the South had been openly and violently rebellious from
-the moment they thought their States’ rights touched. They incited the
-men to struggle in support of their views, and whether right or wrong,
-sustained them nobly to the end. They were the first to rebel—the
-last to succumb. Taking an active part in all that came within their
-sphere, and often compelled to go beyond this when the field demanded
-as many soldiers as could be raised; feeling a passion of interest in
-every man in the gray uniform of the Confederate service; they were
-doubly anxious to give comfort and assistance to the sick and wounded.
-In the course of a long and harassing war, with ports blockaded and
-harvests burnt, rail tracks constantly torn up, so that supplies of
-food were cut off, and sold always at exorbitant prices, no appeal was
-ever made to the women of the South, individually or collectively, that
-did not meet with a ready response. There was no parade of generosity;
-no published lists of donations, inspected by public eyes. What was
-contributed was given unostentatiously, whether a barrel of coffee or
-the only half bottle of wine in the giver’s possession.
-
-
- _Startling Proposition._
-
-About this time one of these large hospitals was to be opened,
-and the wife of the then acting secretary of war offered me the
-superintendence—rather a startling proposition to a woman used to all
-the comforts of luxurious life. Foremost among the Virginia women, she
-had given her resources of mind and means to the sick, and her graphic
-and earnest representations of the benefit a good and determined
-woman’s rule could effect in such a position settled the result in
-my mind. The natural idea that such a life would be injurious to
-the delicacy and refinement of a lady—that her nature would become
-deteriorated and her sensibilities blunted, was rather appalling. But
-the first step only costs, and that was soon taken.
-
-
- _First Appearance on any Stage._
-
-A preliminary interview with the surgeon-in-chief gave necessary
-confidence. He was energetic—capable—skillful. A man with ready oil
-to pour upon troubled waters. Difficulties melted away beneath the
-warmth of his ready interest, and mountains sank into mole-hills when
-his quick comprehension had surmounted and leveled them. However
-troublesome daily increasing annoyances became, if they could not be
-removed, his few and ready words sent applicants and grumblers home
-satisfied to do the best they could. Wisely he decided to have an
-educated and efficient woman at the head of his hospital, and having
-succeeded, never allowed himself to forget that fact.
-
-
- _Petticoat Government._
-
-The day after my decision was made found me at “headquarters,” the
-only two-story building on hospital ground, then occupied by the
-chief surgeon and his clerks. He had not yet made his appearance that
-morning, and while awaiting him, many of his corps, who had expected in
-horror the advent of female supervision, walked in and out, evidently
-inspecting me. There was at that time a general ignorance on all
-sides, except among the hospital officials, of the decided objection
-on the part of the latter to the carrying out of a law which they
-prognosticated would entail “petticoat government;” but there was no
-mistaking the stage-whisper which reached my ears from the open door
-of the office that morning, as the little contract surgeon passed out
-and informed a friend he met, in a tone of ill-concealed disgust, that
-“_one of them had come_.”
-
-
- _Dull, but necessary Details._
-
-To those not acquainted with hospital arrangements, some explanations
-are necessary. To each hospital is assigned a surgeon-in-chief.
-To each _division_ of the hospital, a surgeon in charge. To each
-_ward_ of the division, an assistant surgeon. But when the press
-of business is great, contract doctors are also put in charge of
-wards. The surgeon-in-chief makes an inspection each day, calling a
-board of inferior surgeons to make their report to him. The surgeon
-in charge is always on the ground, goes through the wards daily,
-consulting with his assistants and reforming abuses, making his
-report daily to the surgeon-in-chief. The assistant surgeon has only
-his one or two wards to attend, passing through them twice each day
-and prescribing. In cases of danger he calls in the surgeon in charge
-for advice or assistance. The contract surgeons performed the same
-duties as assistant surgeons, but ranked below them, as they were not
-commissioned officers and received less pay. Each ward had its corps
-of nurses, unfortunately not practised or expert in their duties, as
-they had been sick or wounded men, convalescing and placed in that
-position,—however ignorant they might be,—till strong enough for
-field duty. This arrangement bore very hard upon all interested, and
-harder upon the sick, as it entailed constant supervision and endless
-teaching; but the demand for men in the field was too imperative to
-allow those who were fit for their duties there to be detained for
-nursing purposes, however skillful they may have become.
-
-Besides these mentioned, the hospital contained an endless horde
-of stewards and their clerks; surgeons’ clerks; commissaries and
-their clerks; quartermasters and clerks; apothecaries and clerks;
-baggage-masters; forage-masters; wagon-masters; cooks; bakers;
-carpenters; shoemakers; ward-inspectors; ambulance-drivers; and many
-more; forgotten hangers-on, to whom the soldiers gave the name of
-“hospital rats” in common with would-be invalids who resisted being
-cured from a disinclination to field service. They were so called,
-it is to be supposed, from the difficulty of getting rid of either
-species. Still, many of them were physically unfit for the field.
-
-
- _Initiation._
-
-Among these conflicting elements, all belittled at a time of general
-enthusiasm by long absence from the ennobling influences of military
-service, and all striving with rare exceptions to gain the small
-benefits and rare comforts so scarce in the Confederacy, I was
-introduced that day by the surgeon in charge. He was a cultivated,
-gentlemanly man, kind-hearted when he remembered to be so, and very
-much afraid of any responsibility resting upon his shoulders. No
-preparations had been made by him for his female department. He
-escorted me into a long, low, whitewashed building, open from end to
-end, called for two benches, and then, with entire composure, as if
-surrounding circumstances were most favorable, commenced an æsthetic
-conversation on _belles lettres_, female influence, and the first,
-last and only novel published during the war. (It was a translation of
-_Joseph the Second_, printed on gray and bound in marbled wall-paper.)
-A neat compliment offered at leave-taking rounded off the interview,
-with a parting promise from him to send me the carpenter to make
-partitions and shelves for office, parlor, laundry, pantry and kitchen.
-The steward was then summoned for consultation, and my representative
-reign began.
-
-
- “_Great Oaks from little Acorns grow._”
-
-A stove was unearthed; very small, very rusty, and fit only for a
-family of six. There were then about six hundred men upon the matron’s
-diet list, the illest ones to be supplied with food from my kitchen,
-and the convalescents from the steward’s, called, in contra-distinction
-from mine, “the big kitchen.” Just then my mind could hardly grope
-through the darkness that clouded it, as to what were my special
-duties, but one mental spectrum always presented itself—_chicken soup_.
-
-
- _Partnership with Jim._
-
-Having vaguely heard of requisitions, I then and there made my first,
-in very unofficial style. A polite request sent through “Jim” (a small
-black boy) to the steward for a pair of chickens. They came instantly
-ready dressed for cooking. Jim picked up some shavings, kindled up the
-stove, begged, borrowed or stole (either act being lawful to his mind),
-a large iron pot from the big kitchen. For the first time I cut up with
-averted eyes a raw bird, and the Rubicon was passed.
-
-My readers must not suppose that this picture applies generally to
-all our hospitals, or that means and appliances so early in the war
-for food and comfort, were so meagre. This state of affairs was only
-the result of accident and some misunderstanding. The surgeon of my
-hospital naturally thought I had informed myself of the power vested
-in me by virtue of my position, and, having some experience, would use
-the rights given me by the law passed in Congress, to arrange my own
-department; and I, on reading the bill, could only understand that the
-office was one that dovetailed the duties of housekeeper and cook,
-nothing more.
-
-
- _A First Venture._
-
-In the meantime the soup was boiling, and was undeniably a success,
-from the perfume it exhaled. Nature may not have intended me for a
-Florence Nightingale, but a kitchen proved my worth. Frying-pans,
-griddles, stew-pans and coffee-pots soon became my household gods. The
-niches must have been prepared years previously, invisible to the naked
-eye but still there.
-
-Gaining courage from familiarity with my position, a venture across the
-lane brought me to the nearest ward (they were all separate buildings,
-it must be remembered, covering a half mile of ground in a circle, one
-story high, with long, low windows opening back in a groove against the
-inside wall), and, under the first I peeped in, lay the shadow of a man
-extended on his bed, pale and attennuated.
-
-What woman’s heart would not melt and make itself a home where so much
-needed?
-
-His wants were inquired into, and, like all the humbler class of men,
-who think that unless they have been living on hog and hominy they are
-starved, he complained of not having eaten anything “for three mortal
-weeks.”
-
-
- “_A Rose by any other name,” &c._
-
-In the present state of the kitchen larder, there was certainly not
-much of a choice, and I was as yet ignorant of the capabilities of the
-steward’s department. However, soup was suggested, as a great soother
-of “misery in his back,” and a generous supply of adjectives prefixed
-for flavor—“nice, hot, good chicken soup.” The suggestion was received
-kindly. If it was very nice he would take some: “he was never, though,
-much of a hand for drinks.” My mind rejected the application of words,
-but matter not mind, was the subject under consideration.
-
-All my gastronomic experience revolted against soup without the sick
-man’s parsley; and Jim, my acting partner, volunteered to get some at a
-mysterious place he always called “The Dutchman’s,” so at last, armed
-with a bowl full of the decoction, duly salted, peppered, and seasoned,
-I again sought my first patient.
-
-
- _Snubbed._
-
-He rose deliberately—so deliberately that I felt sensible of the great
-favor he was conferring. He smoothed his tangled locks with a weak
-hand, took a piece of well-masticated tobacco from between three or
-four solitary teeth, but still the soup was unappropriated, and it
-appeared evident that some other preliminaries were to be arranged.
-The novelty of my position, added to a lively imagination, suggested
-fears that he might think it necessary to arise for compliment sake;
-and hospital clothing being made to suit the scarcity and expense of
-homespun, the idea was startling. But my suspense did not continue
-long; he was only seeking for a brown-covered tract hid under his
-pillow.
-
-Did he intend to read grace before meat? No, he simply wanted a
-pocket-handkerchief, which cruel war had denied; so without comment a
-leaf was quietly abstracted and used for that purpose. The result was
-satisfactory, for the next moment the bowl was taken from my hand, and
-the first spoonful of soup transmitted to his mouth.
-
-It was an awful minute! My fate seemed to hang upon the fiat of that
-uneducated palate. A long painful gulp, a “judgmatical” shake of the
-head, _not_ in the affirmative, and the bowl traveled slowly back to my
-extended hand.
-
-
- _His Mammy’s Soup._
-
-“My mammy’s soup was not like that,” he whined. “But I might worry a
-little down if it war’n’t for them _weeds_ a-floating round.”
-
-Well! why be depressed? There may not after all be any actual
-difference between weeds and herbs.
-
-After that first day improvements rapidly progressed. Better stoves,
-and plenty of them, were put up; closets enclosed; china or its
-substitutes, pottery and tin, supplied. I learned to make requisitions
-and to use my power. The coffee, tea, milk, and all other luxuries
-provided for the sick wards, were, through my demand, turned over to
-me; also a co-laborer with Jim, that young gentleman’s disposition
-proving to be like my old horse, who pulled well and steadily in single
-harness, but when tried in double team, left all the hard work to the
-last comer. However, honor to whom honor is due. He gave me many hints
-which my higher intelligence had overlooked, comprehended by him more
-through instinct than reason, and was as clever at gathering trophies
-for my kitchen as Gen. Butler was—for other purposes.
-
-
- _Dissolved Partnership with Jim._
-
-Still my office did not rise above that of chief cook, for I dared not
-leave my kitchen unattended for a moment, till Dr. M., one day, passing
-the window, and seeing me seated on a low bench peeling potatoes,
-appeared much surprised, and inquired where my cooks were. Explanations
-followed, a copy of hospital rules were sent for, and authority found
-to provide the matron’s department with suitable attendants. A gentle,
-sweet-tempered lady, extremely neat and efficient, was appointed
-assistant matron, also three or four cooks and bakers. Jim and his
-companion were degraded into drawers of water and hewers of wood; that
-is to say, these ought to have been their duties, but their occupation
-became walking gentlemen. On assuming their out-door labors, their
-allegiance to me ceased, and the trophies which formerly swelled my
-list of dainties for the sick were nightly carried “down the hill,”
-where everything that was missed disappeared.
-
-
- _Explanations._
-
-Then began the routine of hospital life in regular order. Breakfast
-at seven in the morning in summer and eight in winter. Coffee, tea,
-milk, bread of various kinds, and butter or molasses, and whatever
-meats could be saved from the yesterday’s dinner. This was in the first
-year of the war. Afterwards we were not able to be so luxurious. The
-quantity supplied would be impartially divided among the wards with the
-retention of the delicacies for the very ill men.
-
-The ward-masters with their nurses gathered three times a day, for each
-meal, around my office window adjoining the kitchen, with large wooden
-trays and piles of plates, waiting to receive the food, each being
-helped in turn to a fair division. If an invalid craved any particular
-dish the nurse mentioned the want, and if not contrary to the surgeon’s
-order, it, or its nearest approximation was allowed him.
-
-
- _Routine._
-
-After breakfast the assistant surgeons visited their respective wards,
-making out their diet lists, or rather filling them up, for the forms
-were printed, and only the invalid’s name, number of his bed, and his
-diet—light, half, or full, were required to be specified, also the
-quantity of whiskey desired for each. Dinner and supper served in the
-same way, except for the very sick. They had what they desired, in or
-out of season, and all seemed to object to the nutriment concocted from
-those tasteless and starchy compounds of wheat, corn and arrowroot,
-that are so thick and heavy to swallow, and so little nutritious. They
-were served hot from the fire, or congealed from the ice (for after
-the suffering caused from the deprivation of ice the first summer of
-the war was felt, each hospital built its own ice-house, which was
-well filled by the next season). At two o’clock the regular dinner
-of poultry, beef, ham, fish and vegetables, was distributed. (After
-the first year our bill of fare decreased much in variety.) Supper at
-six. The chief matron sat at her table, the diet lists arranged before
-her, each day, and managed so that no especial ward should invariably
-be the first served, although they were named in alphabetical order.
-Any necessary instructions of the surgeons were noted and attended
-to, sometimes accompanied with observations of her own, not always
-complimentary to those gentlemen, nor prudent as regarded herself.
-
-
- _Mr. Jones’ Views._
-
-The orders ran somewhat in this fashion: “Chicken soup for twenty—beef
-tea for forty—tea and toast for fifty.” A certain Mr. Jones had
-expressed his abhorrence of tea and toast, so I asked the nurse why he
-gave it to him.
-
-He answered that the diet was ordered by the surgeon, but Jones said he
-would not touch it, for he never ate slops, and so he had eaten nothing
-for two days.
-
-“Well, what does he wish?”
-
-“The doctor says tea and toast” (reiterating his first remark).
-
-“Did you tell the doctor he would not eat it?”
-
-“_I_ told the doctor, and _he_ told the doctor.”
-
-“Perhaps he did not hear, or understand you.”
-
-“Yes, he did. He only said that he wanted that man particularly to have
-tea and toast, though I told him Jones threw it up regularly; so he put
-it down again, and said Jones was out of his head, and Jones says the
-doctor is a fool.”
-
-My remark upon this was that Jones could not be so very much out of his
-head—an observation that entailed subsequent consequences. The habit
-so common among physicians when dealing with uneducated people, of
-insisting upon particular kinds of diet, irrespective of the patient’s
-tastes, was a peculiar grievance that no complaint during four years
-ever remedied.
-
-
- “_Sufficient for the Day,” &c._
-
-Although visiting my wards in the morning for the purpose of speaking
-words of comfort to the sick, and remedying any apparent evils which
-had been overlooked or forgotten by the surgeons when going their
-rounds, the fear that the nourishment furnished had not suited the
-tastes of men debilitated to an extreme not only by disease and wounds,
-but also by the privations and exposures of camp life, would again take
-me among them in the afternoon. Then would come heart-sickness and
-discouragement, for out of a hundred invalids, seventy, on an average,
-would assert that they had not taken any nourishment whatever. This
-was partly owing to habit or imitation of others, and partly to the
-human desire to enlist sympathy. The common soldier has a horror of a
-hospital, and with the rejection of food comes the hope that weakness
-will increase proportionally, and a furlough become necessary.
-
-Besides, the human palate, to relish good food, must be as well
-educated as other organs for other purposes. Who appreciates a good
-painting until his eye is trained, or fine harmony until the ear is
-cultivated?—and why should not the same rule apply to tongue and
-taste? Men who never before had been sick, or swallowed those starchy,
-flavorless compounds young surgeons are so fond of prescribing,
-repudiated them invariably, in spite of my skill in making them
-palatable. They were suspicious of the _terra incognita_ from which
-they sprang, having had no experience heretofore, and suspicion always
-engenders disgust.
-
-
- _Introduction of Hero._
-
-Daily inspection too, convinced me that great evils still existed under
-my rule, in spite of my zealous care for my patients. For example, the
-monthly barrel of whiskey which I was entitled to draw still remained
-at the dispensary under the guardianship of the apothecary and his
-clerks, and quarts and pints were issued through any order coming from
-surgeons or their substitutes, so that the contents were apt to be
-gone long before I was entitled to draw more, and my sick would suffer
-for want of the stimulant. There were many suspicious circumstances
-connected with this _institution_; for the monthly barrel was an
-institution and a very important one. Indeed, if it is necessary to
-have a hero for this matter-of-fact narrative the whiskey barrel will
-have to step forward and make his bow.
-
-
- _Introduction of Hero—The Whiskey Barrel._
-
-So again I referred to the hospital bill passed by Congress, which
-provided that liquors in common with other luxuries, belonged to the
-matron’s department, and in an evil moment, such an impulse as tempted
-Pandora to open the fatal casket assailed me, and I despatched the
-bill, flanked by a formal requisition for the liquor. An answer came
-in the shape of the head surgeon. He declared I would find “the charge
-most onerous,” that “whiskey was required at all hours, sometimes in
-the middle of the night, and even if I remained at the hospital, he
-would not like me to be disturbed,” “it was constantly needed for
-medicinal purposes,” “he was responsible for its proper application;”
-but I was not convinced, and withstood all argument and persuasion. He
-was proverbially sober himself, but I was aware why both commissioned
-and non-commissioned officers opposed violently the removal of the
-liquor to my quarters. So, the printed law being at hand for reference,
-I nailed my colors to the mast, and that evening all the liquor was in
-my pantry and the key in my pocket.
-
-
- _The Hero Captured._
-
-The first restraints of a woman’s presence had now worn away, and the
-thousand miseries of my position began to make themselves felt. The
-young surgeons (not all gentlemen, although their profession should
-have made them aspirants to the character), and the nurses played
-into each other’s hands. If the former were off on a frolic, the
-latter would conceal the absence of necessary attendance by erasing
-the date of the diet list of the day before, and substituting the
-proper one, duplicating the prescription also, and thus preventing
-inquiry. In like manner the assistant surgeons, to whom the nurses
-were alone responsible, would give them leave of absence, concealing
-the fact from the head surgeon, which could easily be effected; then
-the patients would suffer, and complaints from the matron be obnoxious
-and troublesome, and also entirely out of her line of business.
-She was to be cook and housekeeper, and nothing more. Added now to
-other difficulties was the dragonship of the Hesperides,—the guarding
-of the liquefied golden fruit to which access had been open to a
-certain extent before her reign,—and for many, many months the petty
-persecutions endured from all the small fry around almost exceeded
-human patience to bear. What the surgeon in charge could do to mitigate
-the annoyances entailed he conscientiously did; but with the weight of
-a large hospital on his not very strong mind, and very little authority
-delegated to him, he could hardly reform abuses or punish silly
-attacks, so small in the abstract, so great in the aggregate.
-
-
- _Jones’ Indignation._
-
-The eventful evening when Mr. Jones revolted against tea and toast,
-my unfortunate remark intended for no particular ear but caught by
-the nurse, that the patient’s intellects could not be confused if
-he called his surgeon a fool, brought forth a recriminating note to
-me. It was from that maligned and incensed gentleman, and proved the
-progenitor of a long series of communications of the same character;
-a family likeness pervading them all. They generally commenced with
-“Dr. —— presents his compliments to the chief matron,” continuing with
-“Mrs. —— and I,” and ending with “you and him.” They were difficult to
-understand, and more difficult to endure. Accustomed to be treated with
-extreme deference and courtesy by the highest officials connected with
-the government, moving in the same social grade I had always occupied
-when beyond hospital bounds, the change was appalling.
-
-
- _Wanted.—A Dose of Grammar._
-
-The inundation of notes that followed for many months could not have
-been sent back unopened, the last refuge under the circumstances, for
-some of them might have related to the well-being of the sick. My pen
-certainly was ready enough, but could I waste my thunderbolts in such
-an atmosphere?
-
-The depreciated currency, which purchased only at fabulous prices
-by this time; the poor pay the government (feeling the necessary of
-keeping up the credit of its paper) gave to its officials; the natural
-craving for luxuries that had been but common food before the war,
-caused appeals to be made to me, sometimes for the applicant, oftener
-for his sick wife or child, so constantly, that had I given even
-one-tenth of the gifts demanded there would have been but little left
-for my patients.
-
-
- _Daily Trials._
-
-It was hard to refuse, for the plea that it was not mine but merely
-a charge confided to me, was looked upon as a pretext; outsiders
-calculating upon the quantity issued to my department and losing sight
-of the ownership of the quantity received.
-
-Half a dozen convalescent men would lose their tasteless dinner daily
-at the steward’s table, and beg for “anything,” which would mean
-turkey and oysters. Others “had been up all night and craved a cup
-of coffee and a roll,” and as for diseases among commissioned and
-non-commissioned men, caused by entire destitution of whiskey, and only
-to be cured by it—their name was legion. Every pound of coffee, every
-ounce of whiskey, bushel of flour or vegetables duly weighed before
-delivery, was intended for its particular consumers; who, if they even
-could not eat or drink what was issued for them watched their property
-zealously, and claimed it too. So what had I to give away?
-
-
- _The Ishmaelite._
-
-The necessity of refusing the live-long day, forced upon naturally
-generous tempers, makes them captious and uncivil, and under the
-pressure the soft answer cannot be evoked to turn away wrath. Demands
-would increase until they amounted to persecutions when the refusals
-became the rule instead of the exception, and the breach thus made grew
-wider day by day, until “my hand was against every man, and every man’s
-hand against me.”
-
-Besides, there was little gratitude felt in a hospital, and certainly
-none expressed. The mass of patients were uneducated men, who had lived
-by the sweat of their brow, and gratitude is an exotic plant, reared
-in a refined atmosphere, kept free from coarse contact and nourished
-by unselfishness. Common natures look only with surprise at great
-sacrifices and cunningly avail themselves of the benefits they bestow,
-but give nothing in return,—not even the satisfaction of allowing the
-giver to feel that the care bestowed has been beneficial; _that_ might
-entail compensation of some kind, and in their ignorance they fear the
-nature of the equivalent which might be demanded.
-
-
- _Mrs. Marthy Brown’s Son._
-
-Still, pleasant episodes often occurred to vary disappointments and
-lighten duties.
-
-“Kin you writ me a letter?” drawled a whining voice from a bed in one
-of the wards, a cold day in ’62.
-
-The speaker was an up-country Georgian, one of the kind called
-“Goubers” by the soldiers generally; lean, yellow, attennuated, with
-wispy strands of hair hanging over his high, thin cheek-bones. He put
-out a hand to detain me and the nails were like claws.
-
-“Why do you not let the nurse cut your nails?”
-
-“Because I aren’t got any spoon, and I use them instead.”
-
-“Will you let me have your hair cut then? You can’t get well with all
-that dirty hair hanging about your eyes and ears.”
-
-“No, I can’t git my hair cut, kase as how I promised my mammy that I
-would let it grow till the war be over. Oh, it’s onlucky to cut it!”
-
-“Then I can’t write any letter for you. Do what I wish you to do, and
-then I will oblige you.”
-
-This was plain talking. The hair was cut (I left the nails for another
-day), my portfolio brought, and sitting by the side of his bed I waited
-for further orders. They came with a formal introduction,—“for Mrs.
-Marthy Brown.”
-
-
- _A Circular Letter._
-
-“My dear Mammy:
-
-“I hope this finds you well, as it leaves me well, and I hope that I
-shall git a furlough Christmas, and come and see you, and I hope that
-you will keep well, and all the folks be well by that time, as I hopes
-to be well myself. This leaves me in good health, as I hope it finds
-you and——”
-
-But here I paused, as his mind seemed to be going round in a circle,
-and asked him a few questions about his home, his position during the
-last summer’s campaign, how he got sick, and where his brigade was
-at that time. Thus furnished with some material to work upon, the
-latter proceeded rapidly. Four sides were conscientiously filled, for
-no soldier would think a letter worth sending home that showed any
-blank paper. Transcribing his name, the number of his ward and proper
-address, so that an answer might reach him—the composition was read to
-him. Gradually his pale face brightened, a sitting posture was assumed
-with difficulty (for, in spite of his determined effort in his letter
-“to be well,” he was far from convalescence). As I folded and directed
-it, contributed the expected five-cent stamp, and handed it to him, he
-gazed cautiously around to be sure there were no listeners.
-
-
- _My First Proposal._
-
-“Did you writ all that?” he asked, whispering, but with great emphasis.
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Did _I_ say all that?”
-
-“I think you did.”
-
-A long pause of undoubted admiration—astonishment ensued. What was
-working in that poor mind? Could it be that Psyche had stirred one of
-the delicate plumes of her wing and touched that dormant soul?
-
-“Are you married?” The harsh voice dropped very low.
-
-“I am not. At least, I am a widow.”
-
-He rose still higher in bed. He pushed away desperately the tangled
-hay on his brow. A faint color fluttered over the hollow cheek, and
-stretching out a long piece of bone with a talon attached, he gently
-touched my arm and with constrained voice whispered mysteriously:
-
-“You wait!”
-
-And readers, I _am_ waiting still; and I here caution the male portion
-of creation who may adore through their mental powers, to respect my
-confidence, and not seek to shake my constancy.
-
-
- _Compliments._
-
-Other compliments were paid me, perhaps not of so conclusive a nature,
-and they were noticeable from their originality and novelty, but they
-were also rare. Expression was not a gift among the common soldiers.
-“You will wear them little feet away,” said a rough Kentuckian,
-“running around so much. They ar’n’t much to boast of anyway.” Was not
-this as complimentary as the lover who compared his mistress’s foot to
-a dream; and much more comprehensible?
-
-
- _More flattering than agreeable._
-
-At intervals the lower wards, unused except in times of great need, for
-they were unfurnished with any comforts, would be filled with rough
-soldiers from camp, sent to recuperate after field service, who may
-not have seen a female face for months; and though generally too much
-occupied to notice them much, their partly concealed, but determined
-regard would become embarrassing. One day, while directing arrangements
-with a ward-master, my attention was attracted by the pertinacious
-staring of a rough-looking Texan. He walked round and round me in
-rapidly narrowing circles, examining every detail of my dress, face,
-and figure; his eye never fixing upon any particular part for a moment
-but traveling incessantly all over me. It seemed the wonder of the mind
-at the sight of a new creation. I moved my position; he shifted his to
-suit the new arrangement—again a change was made, so obviously to get
-out of his range of vision, that with a delicacy of feeling that the
-roughest men always treated me with, he desisted from his inspection so
-far, that though his person made no movement, his neck twisted round to
-accommodate his eyes, till I supposed some progenitor of his family had
-been an owl. The men began to titter, and my patience became exhausted.
-
-
- _Compliments again._
-
-“What is the matter, my man? Did you never see a woman before?”
-
-“Jerusalem!” he ejaculated, not making the slightest motion towards
-withdrawing his determined notice, “I never did see such a nice one.
-Why, you’s as pretty as a pair of red shoes with green strings.”
-
-These were the two compliments laid upon the shrine of my vanity during
-four years’ contact with thousands of patients, and I commit them to
-paper to stand as a visionary portrait, to prove to my readers that
-a woman with attractions similar to a pair of red shoes with green
-strings must have some claim to the apple of Paris.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Love unto Death._
-
-Scenes of pathos occurred daily—scenes that wrung the heart and forced
-the dew of pity from the eyes; but feeling that enervated the mind and
-relaxed the body was a sentimental luxury that was not to be indulged
-in. There was too much work to be done, too much active exertion
-required, to allow the mental or physical powers to succumb. They were
-severely taxed each day. Perhaps they balanced, and so kept each other
-from sinking. There was, indeed, but little leisure to sentimentalize,
-the necessity for action being ever present.
-
-After the battle of Fredericksburg, while giving small doses of brandy
-to a dying man, a low, pleasant voice, said “Madam.” It came from a
-youth not over eighteen years of age, seeming very ill, but so placid,
-with that earnest, far-away gaze, so common to the eyes of those who
-are looking their last on this world. Does God in his mercy give a
-glimpse of coming peace, past understanding, that we see reflected in
-the dying eyes into which we look with such strong yearning to fathom
-what they see? He shook his head in negative to all offers of food or
-drink or suggestions of softer pillows and lighter covering.
-
-“I want Perry,” was his only wish.
-
-On inquiry I found that Perry was the friend and companion who marched
-by his side in the field and slept next to him in camp, but of whose
-whereabouts I was ignorant. Armed with a requisition from our surgeon,
-I sought him among the sick and wounded at all the other hospitals.
-I found him at Camp Jackson, put him in my ambulance, and on arrival
-at my own hospital found my patient had dropped asleep. A bed was
-brought and placed at his side, and Perry, only slightly wounded, laid
-upon it. Just then the sick boy awoke wearily, turned over, and the
-half-unconscious eye fixed itself. He must have been dreaming of the
-meeting, for he still distrusted the reality. Illness had spiritualized
-the youthful face; the transparent forehead, the delicate brow so
-clearly defined, belonged more to heaven than earth. As he recognized
-his comrade the wan and expressionless lips curved into the happiest
-smile—the angel of death had brought the light of summer skies to that
-pale face. “Perry,” he cried, “Perry,” and not another word, but with
-one last effort he threw himself into his friend’s arms, the radiant
-eyes closed, but the smile still remained—he was dead.
-
-
- _The Silver Cord loosened._
-
-There was but little sensibility exhibited by soldiers for the fate
-of their comrades in field or hospital. The results of war are here
-to-day and gone to-morrow. I stood still, spell-bound by that youthful
-death-bed, when my painful revery was broken upon by a drawling voice
-from a neighboring bed, which had been calling me by such peculiar
-names or titles that I had been oblivious to whom they were addressed.
-
-
- _A Sweet Pur-ta-a-tur-r._
-
-“Look here. I say, Aunty!—Mammy!—You!” Then, in despair,
-“Missus! Mauma! Kin you gim me sich a thing as a b’iled sweet
-pur-r-rta-a-a-tu-ur? I b’long to the Twenty-secun’ Nor’ Ka-a-a-li-i-na
-rigiment.” I told the nurse to remove his bed from proximity to his
-dead neighbor, thinking that in the low state of his health from fever
-the sight might affect his nerves, but he treated the suggestion with
-contempt.
-
-“Don’t make no sort of difference to _me_; they dies all around _me_ in
-the field—don’t trouble _me_.”
-
-The wounded men at this time began to make serious complaints that the
-liquor issued did not reach them, and no vigilance on my part appeared
-to check the improper appropriation of it, or lead to any discovery of
-the thieves in the wards. There were many obstacles to be surmounted
-before proper precautions could be taken. Lumber was so expensive
-that closets in each ward were out of the question, and if made locks
-could not be purchased for any amount of money. The liquor, therefore,
-when it left my quarters, was open to any passer-by in the wards
-who would watch his opportunity; so, although I had strong and good
-reasons for excluding female nurses, the supposition that liquor would
-be no temptation to them, and would be more apt to reach its proper
-destination through their care, determined me to engage them.
-
-Unlucky thought, born in an evil hour!
-
-
- _Sober Ladies wanted._
-
-There were no lack of applications when the want was circulated, but
-my choice hesitated between ladies of education and position, who I
-knew would be willing to aid me, and the common class of respectable
-servants. The latter suited best, because it was to be supposed they
-would be more amenable to authority. They were engaged, and the
-very sick wards divided among three of them. They were to keep the
-bed-clothing in order, receive and dispense the liquor, carry any
-delicacy in the way of food where it was most needed, and in fact do
-anything reasonable that was requested. The last stipulation was dwelt
-upon strongly. The next day my new corps were in attendance, and the
-different liquors, beverages and stimulants delivered to them under the
-black looks of the ward-masters. No. 1 received hers silently. She was
-a cross-looking woman from North Carolina, painfully ugly, or rather
-what is termed hard-featured, and apparently very taciturn; the last
-quality rather an advantage. She had hardly left my kitchen when she
-returned with all the drinks, and a very indignant face.
-
-
- _Delicate Sensibilities._
-
-In reply to inquiries made she proved her taciturnity was not chronic.
-She asserted loudly that she was a decent woman, and “was not going
-anywhere in a place where a man sat up on his bed in his shirt, and
-the rest laughed—she knew they were laughing at her.” The good old
-proverb that talking is silver but silence is gold had impressed itself
-on my mind long before this, so I silently took her charge from her,
-telling her that a hospital was no place for a person of her delicate
-sensibilities, and at the same time holding up Miss G. and myself (who
-were young enough to be her daughters), as examples for her imitation.
-
-She answered truly that we acted as we pleased and so would she; and
-that was the last I saw of her. What her ideas of hospital life were I
-never inquired, and shall never know.
-
-
- _More of them._
-
-No. 2 came briskly forward. She was a plausible, light-haired,
-light-eyed and light-complexioned Englishwoman; very petite, with
-a high nose. She had come to the hospital with seven trunks, which
-ought to have been a warning to me, but she brought such strong
-recommendations from responsible parties that they warped my judgment.
-She received the last trust handed her—an open pitcher of hot
-punch—with averted head, nose turned aside, and held it at arm’s length
-with a high disdain mounted upon her high nose. Her excuse for this
-antipathy was that the smell of liquor was “awful,” she “could not
-a-bear it,” and “it turned her witals.” This was rather suspicious, but
-we deferred judgment.
-
-
- _Free and Equal American Servant Ladies._
-
-Dinner was distributed. No. 2 appeared, composed, vigilant and
-attentive to her duties, carrying her delicacies of food to her wards
-with the assistance of the nurses. No. 3, an inoffensive woman did the
-same, and all worked well. That afternoon, when I had retired to my
-little sanctum to take the one hour’s rest that I allowed myself each
-day undisturbed, Miss G. put her head in the door with an apprehensive
-look and said, “the new matrons wished to see me.” They were admitted,
-and my high-nosed friend, who had been elected spokeswoman it seems,
-said after a few preliminaries, with a toss of her head and a couple of
-sniffs that I “seemed to have made myself very comfortable.”
-
-
- _Sociable Spittoon._
-
-This was assented to graciously. She added that other people were
-not, who were quite as much entitled to _style_. This also remained
-undisputed, and then she stated her real grievance, that they “were
-not satisfied, for I had not invited them to call upon me, or into
-my room,” and “they considered themselves quite as much ladies as I
-was.” I answered I was glad to hear it, and hoped they would always
-act as ladies should, and in a way suitable to the title. There was
-an evident desire on her part to say more, but she had not calculated
-upon the style of reception, and therefore was thrown out beyond her
-line of action, so she civilly requested me to call and inspect their
-quarters that they were dissatisfied with. An hour later I did so,
-and found them sitting around a sociable spittoon, with a friendly
-box of snuff—dipping! I found it impossible to persuade them that
-the government was alone responsible for their poor quarters, they
-persisted in holding me answerable.
-
-
- _Possession Nine and Half Points of Law._
-
-The next day, walking through one of the wards under No. 2’s charge,
-I found a part of the building, of about eight to ten feet square,
-portioned off, a roughly improvised plank partition dividing this
-temporary room from the rest of the ward. Seated comfortably therein
-was the new matron, entrenched among her trunks. A neat table and
-comfortable chair, abstracted from my few kitchen appurtenances,
-added to her comforts. Choice pieces of crockery, remnants of more
-luxurious times, that had at one time adorned my shelves, were disposed
-tastefully around, and the drinks issued by me for the patients were
-conveniently placed at her elbow. She explained that she kept them
-there to prevent thefts. Perhaps the nausea communicated from their
-neighborhood had tinted the high nose higher, and there was a defiant
-look about her, as if she sniffed the battle afar.
-
-It was very near though, and had to be fought, however disagreeable, so
-I instantly entered into explanations, short, but polite. Each patient
-being allowed, by law, a certain number of feet, every inch taken
-therefrom was so much ventilation lost, and the abstraction of as much
-space as she had taken for illegal purposes was a serious matter, and
-conflicted with the rules that governed the hospital. Besides this, no
-woman was allowed to stay in the wards, for obvious reasons.
-
-No. 2, however, was a sensible person, for she did not waste _her_
-breath in talking; she merely held her position. An appeal made by me
-to the surgeon of the ward did not result favorably; he said I had
-engaged her, she belonged to my corps, and was under my supervision: so
-I sent for the steward.
-
-
- _Vi et Armis._
-
-The steward of a hospital cannot define exactly what his duties are,
-the difficulty being to find out what they are not. Whenever it has to
-be decided who has to fill a disagreeable office, the choice invariably
-falls upon the steward. So a message was sent to his quarters to
-request him to compel No. 2 to evacuate her hastily improvised
-premises. He hesitated long, but engaging at last the services of his
-assistant, a broad-shouldered fighting character, proceeded to eject
-the new tenant.
-
-He commenced operations by polite explanations; but they were met in a
-startling manner. She arose and rolled up her sleeves, advancing upon
-him as he receded down the ward. The sick and wounded men roared with
-laughter, cheering her on, and she remained mistress of the field.
-Dinner preparations served as an interlude and silently suppressed, she
-as usual made her entrée into the kitchen, received the drinks for her
-ward and vanished. Half an hour elapsed and then the master of the ward
-in which she had domiciled herself made his report to me, and recounted
-a pitiful tale. He was a neat quiet manager, and usually kept his
-quarters beautifully clean. No. 2, he said, divided the dinner, and
-whenever she came across a bone in hash or stew, or indeed anything
-therein displeased her, she took it in her fingers and dashed it upon
-the floor. With so little to make a hospital gay, this peculiar episode
-was a god-send to the soldiers, and indeed to all the lookers on. The
-surgeons stood laughing, in groups, the men crowded to the windows of
-the belligerent power, and a _coup-d’etat_ became necessary.
-
-
- _Spirit of ’63._
-
-“Send me the carpenter!” I felt the spirit of Boadicea. The man stepped
-up; he had always been quiet, civil and obedient.
-
-“Come with me into Ward E.”
-
-A few steps took us there.
-
-“Knock down that partition and carry away those boards.” It was _un
-fait accompli_.
-
-But the victory was not gained, only the fortifications stormed and
-taken, for almost hidden by flying splinters and dust, No. 2 sat among
-her seven trunks enthroned like Rome upon her seven hills.
-
-
- _Not “A Ministering Angel, Thou.”_
-
-The story furnishes no further interest, but the result was very
-annoying. She was put into my ambulance very drunk by this time and
-sent away, her trunks sent after her. The next day, neatly dressed,
-she managed to get an interview with the medical director, enlisted
-his sympathy by a plausible appeal and description of her desolate
-condition. “A refugee,” or “refewgee,” as she called herself, “trying
-to make her living decently,” and receiving an order to report at our
-hospital, was back there by noon. Explanations had to be written, and
-our surgeon-in-chief to interfere with his authority, before we could
-get rid of her.
-
-
- _Work._
-
-About this time (April, 1863), an attack on Drewry’s Bluff, which
-guarded Richmond on the James river side, was expected, and it was
-made before the hospital was in readiness to receive the wounded. The
-cannonading could be heard distinctly in the city, and dense smoke
-descried rising from the battle-field. The Richmond people had been too
-often, if not through the wars at least within sight and hearing of its
-terrors, to feel any great alarm.
-
-The inhabitants lying in groups, crowded the eastern brow of the
-hill above Rocketts and the James river; overlooking the scene, and
-discussing the probable results of the struggle; while the change from
-the dull, full boom of the cannon to the sharp rattle of musketry could
-be easily distinguished. The sun was setting amidst stormy, purple
-clouds; and when low upon the horizon sent long slanting rays of yellow
-light from beneath them, athwart the battle scene, throwing it in
-strong relief. The shells burst in the air above the fortifications at
-intervals, and with the aid of glasses dark blue masses of uniforms
-could be distinguished, though how near the scene of action could
-not be discerned. About eight o’clock the slightly wounded began to
-straggle in with a bleeding hand, or contused arm or head, bound up in
-any convenient rag.
-
-Their accounts were meagre, for men in the ranks never know anything
-about general results—they almost always have the same answer ready,
-“We druv ’em nowhere.”
-
-In another half-hour, vehicles of all kinds crowded in, from a
-wheelbarrow to a stretcher, and yet no orders had been sent me to
-prepare for the wounded. Few surgeons had remained in the hospital;
-the proximity to the field tempting them to join the ambulance
-committee, or ride to the scene of action; and the officer of the day,
-left in charge, naturally objected to my receiving a large body of
-suffering men with no arrangements made for their comfort, and but few
-in attendance. I was preparing to leave for my home at the Secretary
-of the Navy, where I returned every night, when the pitiful sight of
-the wounded in ambulances, furniture wagons, carts, carriages, and
-every kind of vehicle that could be impressed detained me. To keep
-them unattended to, while being driven from one full hospital to
-another, entailed unnecessary suffering, and the agonized outcry of a
-desperately wounded man to “take him in, for God’s sake, or kill him,”
-decided me to countermand the order of the surgeon in charge that
-“they must be taken elsewhere, as we had no accommodations prepared.”
-I sent for him, however. He was a kind-hearted, indolent man, but
-efficient in his profession, and a gentleman; and seeing my extreme
-agitation, tried to reason with me, saying our wards were full, except
-a few vacant and unused ones, which our requisitions had failed to
-furnish with proper bedding and blankets. Besides, a large number of
-the surgeons were absent, and the few left would not be able to attend
-to all the wounds at that late hour of the night. I proposed in reply
-that the convalescent men should be placed on the floor on blankets,
-or bed-sacks filled with straw, and the wounded take their place, and,
-purposely construing his silence into consent, gave the necessary
-orders, eagerly offering my services to dress simple wounds, and
-extolling the strength of my nerves.
-
-
- _First Essay._
-
-He let me have my way (may _his_ ways be of pleasantness and his paths
-of peace), and so, giving Miss G. orders to make an unlimited supply of
-coffee, tea, and stimulants, armed with lint, bandages, castile soap,
-and a basin of warm water, I made my first essays in the surgical line.
-I had been spectator often enough to be skillful. The first object that
-needed my care was an Irishman. He was seated upon a bed with his hands
-crossed, wounded in both arms by the same bullet. The blood was soon
-washed away, wet lint applied, and no bones being broken, the bandages
-easily arranged.
-
-“I hope that I have not hurt you much,” I said with some trepidation.
-“These are the first wounds that I ever dressed.”
-
-“Sure they be the most illegant pair of hands that ever touched me, and
-the lightest,” he gallantly answered. “And I am all right now.”
-
-
- _Results._
-
-From bed to bed till long past midnight, the work continued.
-Fractured limbs were bathed, washed free from blood and left to the
-surgeon to set. The men were so exhausted by forced marches, lying
-in entrenchments and loss of sleep that few even awoke during the
-operations. If aroused to take nourishment or stimulant they received
-it with closed eyes, and a speedy relapse into unconsciousness. The
-next morning, but few had any recollection of the events of the night
-previous.
-
-There were not as many desperate wounds among the soldiers brought in
-that night as usual. Strange to say, the ghastliness of wounds varied
-much in the different battles, perhaps from the nearness or distance of
-contending parties. One man was an exception and enlisted my warmest
-sympathy. He was a Marylander although serving in a Virginia company.
-There was such strength of resignation in his calm blue eye.
-
-
- _Where the Weary are at Rest._
-
-“Can you give me a moment?” he said.
-
-“What shall I do for you?”
-
-“Give me some drink to revive me, that I do not die before the surgeon
-can attend to me.”
-
-His pulse was strong but irregular, and telling him that a stimulant
-might induce fever, and ought only to be administered with a doctor’s
-prescription, I inquired where was he wounded.
-
-Right through the body. Alas!
-
-The doctor’s dictum was, “No hope: give him anything he asks for;” but
-five days and nights I struggled against this decree, fed my patient
-with my own hands, using freely from the small store of brandy in my
-pantry and cheering him by words and smiles. The sixth morning on my
-entrance he turned an anxious eye on my face, the hope had died out
-of his, for the cold sweat stood in beads there, useless to dry, so
-constantly were they renewed.
-
-
- “An only Son, and my Mother a widow.”
-
-What comfort could I give? Only silently open the Bible, and read to
-him without comment the ever-living promises of his Maker. Glimpses
-too of that abode where the “weary are at rest.” Tears stole down his
-cheek, but he was not comforted.
-
-“I am an only son,” he said, “and my mother is a widow. Go to her, if
-you ever get to Baltimore, and tell her that I died in what I consider
-the defense of civil rights and liberties. I may be wrong. God alone
-knows. Say how kindly I was nursed, and that I had all I needed. I
-cannot thank you, for I have no breath, but we will meet up there.” He
-pointed upward and closed his eyes, that never opened again upon this
-world.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Home Cares and Affections._
-
-Earlier than this, while hospitals were still partly unorganized,
-soldiers were brought in from camp or field, and placed in divisions
-of them, irrespective of rank or state; but soon the officers had more
-comfortable quarters provided apart from the privates, and separate
-divisions were also appropriated to men from different sections of the
-country.
-
-There were so many good reasons for this change that explanations
-are hardly necessary. Chief among them, was the ease through which,
-under this arrangement, a man could be found quickly by reference
-to the books of each particular division. Schedules of where the
-patients of each State were quartered were published in the daily
-papers, and besides the materials furnished by government, States, and
-associations, were thus enabled to send satisfactory food and clothing
-for private distribution. Thus immense contributions, coming weekly
-from these sources, gave great aid, and enabled us to have a reserved
-store when government supplies failed.
-
-To those cognizant of these facts, it appeared as if the non-fighting
-people of the Confederacy had worked as hard and exercised as much
-self-denial as the soldiers in the field. There was an indescribable
-pathos lurking at times at the bottom of these heterogeneous home
-boxes, put up by anxious wives, mothers and sisters; a sad and
-mute history shadowed forth by the sight of rude, coarse homespun
-pillow-cases or pocket handkerchiefs, adorned even amid the turmoil of
-war and poverty of means with an attempt at a little embroidery, or a
-simple fabrication of lace for trimming.
-
-
- _If not my Son—then another Mother’s._
-
-The silent tears dropped over these tokens will never be sung in song
-or told in story. The little loving expedients to conceal the want
-of means which each woman resorted to, thinking that if her loved
-one failed to benefit by the result, other mothers might reap the
-advantage, is a history in itself.
-
-Piles of sheets, the cotton carded and spun in the one room at home
-where the family perhaps lived, ate, and slept in the backwoods
-of Georgia; bales of blankets called so by courtesy, but only the
-drawing-room carpets, the pride of the heart of thrifty housewives,
-perhaps their only extravagance in better days, but now cut up for
-field use. Dozens of pillow slips, not of the coarse product of the
-home loom, which would be too harsh for the cheek of the invalid,
-but of the fine bleached cotton of better days, suggesting personal
-clothing sacrificed to the sick. Boxes of woolen shirts, like Joseph’s
-many-colored coat, created from almost every dressing-gown or flannel
-skirt in the country.
-
-
- _Sacred feelings and bad grammar._
-
-A thousand evidences of the loving care and energetic labor of the
-poor, patient ones at home, telling an affecting story that knocked
-hard at the gates of the heart, were the portals ever so firmly closed;
-and with all these came letters written by poor ignorant ones who often
-had no knowledge of how such communications should be addressed.
-
-These letters, making inquiries concerning patients from anxious
-relatives at home, directed oftener to my office than my name, came
-in numbers, and were queer mixtures of ignorance, bad grammar, worse
-spelling and simple feeling. However absurd the style, the love that
-filled them chastened and purified them. Many are stored away, and
-though irresistibly ludicrous, are too sacred to print for public
-amusement.
-
-In them could be detected the prejudices of the different sections.
-One old lady in upper Georgia wrote a pathetic appeal for a furlough
-for her son. She called me “My dear sir,” while still retaining my
-feminine address, and though expressing the strongest desire for her
-son’s restoration to health, entreated in moving accents that if his
-life could not be saved, that he should not be buried in “Ole Virginny
-_dirt_,”—rather a derogatory term to apply to the sacred soil that gave
-birth to the presidents—the soil of the Old Dominion.
-
-
- _Sad letters._
-
-Almost all of these letters told the same sad tale of destitution of
-food and clothing, even shoes of the roughest kind being either too
-expensive for the mass or unattainable by the expenditure of any sum,
-in many parts of the country. For the first two years of the war,
-privations were lightly dwelt upon and courageously borne, but when
-want and suffering pressed heavily as times grew more stringent, there
-was a natural longing for the stronger heart and frame to bear part
-of the burden. Desertion is a crime that meets generally with as much
-contempt as cowardice, and yet how hard for the husband or father to
-remain inactive in winter quarters, knowing that his wife and little
-ones were literally starving at home—not even _at home_, for few homes
-were left.
-
-
- _Virginians._
-
-Our hospital had till now (the summer of 1863), been appropriated to
-the Gulf States, when an order was issued to transfer and make it
-entirely Virginian. The cause of this change was unknown, but highly
-agreeable, for the latter were the very best class of men in the
-field; intelligent, manly, and reasonable, with more civilized tastes
-and some desire to conform to rules that were conducive to their
-health. Besides this, they were a hardier race, and were more inclined
-to live than die,—a very important taste in a hospital,—so that when
-the summer campaigns were over, the wards would be comparatively empty.
-The health of the army improved wonderfully after the first year’s
-exposure had taught them to take proper precautions, and they had
-become accustomed to the roughnesses of field life. Time was given me,
-by this lightening of heretofore strenuous duties, to seek around and
-investigate the mysteries of the arrangements of other hospitals beside
-my own, and see how my neighbors managed their responsibilities. While
-on the search for material for improvement, I found a small body of
-Marylanders, who, having had no distinct refuge awarded them, were sent
-wherever circumstances made it convenient to lodge them.
-
-
- _Antagonism._
-
-There had been, from the breaking out of the war, much petty criticism,
-privately and publicly expressed, concerning the conduct and position
-of the Marylanders who had thrown their fortunes in the Confederate
-scale, and a great deal of ill-feeling engendered. Sister States have
-never been amicable, but it was not until my vocation drew my attention
-to the fact that I became aware of the antagonism existing. The
-Virginians complained that the Marylanders had come south to install
-themselves in the comfortable clerkships, and to take possession of the
-lazy places, while those filling them defended their position on the
-ground that efficient men were required in the departments, as well as
-the field, and that their superior capacity as clerks was recognized
-and rewarded without any desire, on their part, to shun field duty.
-They were unfortunate, as they labored under the disadvantage of
-harboring, as reputed fellow citizens, every gambler, speculator or
-vagabond, who, anxious to escape military duty, managed to procure, in
-some way, exemption papers proving him a native of their so-considered
-neutral State. An adverse feeling towards them, report said,
-extended even to the hospitals through which they were scattered,
-and I endeavored long, but unsuccessfully, to induce Dr. Moore (the
-Confederate surgeon-general), to inaugurate some building for their
-use. He was averse to any arrangement of this kind, not from prejudice,
-but a conviction of the expense and trouble of small establishments of
-this nature.
-
-Not succeeding I made a personal application to the surgeon-in-chief of
-my own establishment, to allow me to appropriate a certain number of my
-own wards to them, and with the ready courtesy he always accorded me,
-he immediately gave consent.
-
-
- _The wicked Marylanders._
-
-In the decided objections of surgeons generally to taking charge of
-Marylanders there was an element more amusing than offensive, and the
-dismay of the head of our hospital when he heard of my arrangements was
-ludicrous in the extreme, and our opinions hardly reconcilable from our
-different standpoints. To a woman there was a touch of romance in the
-self-denial exercised, the bravery displayed and the hardships endured
-by a body of men, who were fighting for what was to them an abstract
-question, as far as they were concerned.
-
-No one with any reasoning powers could suppose that Maryland in event
-of success could ever become a sister State of the confederacy.
-Then the majority of them were very young men, who, well born, well
-nurtured and wealthy, accustomed too to all the luxuries of life,
-served then, and even to the end as privates, when less deserving men
-who had commenced their career in the ranks had made interest and
-risen, as much through political favor as personal bravery. Luxuries
-received from other States for their soldiers, which though trifling
-in themselves were so gratifying to their recipients could not come
-to them; the furlough, that El Dorado to the sick soldier, was the
-gold which could not be grasped, for there was no home that could be
-reached. Even letters, those electric conductors from heart to heart,
-came sparingly after long detention, often telling of the loss of the
-beloved at home, months after the grave had closed upon them.
-
-
- _Troublesome Customers._
-
-In antagonism to these ideas were the strong objections of our head
-surgeon to this arrangement of mine, and they too were reasonable. The
-fact of there being an unusual amount of intelligence and independence
-among these men made them more difficult to manage, as they were less
-submissive to orders. They were aware of how much they were entitled
-to, in food, surgical and medical attendance and general comfort; and
-were not afraid to speak loudly and openly of neglect towards them or
-of incapacity in their rulers, so that whether ragged, helpless or sick
-they bore a striking resemblance to Hans Andersen’s leather soldier.
-That historical personage, though lame in the leg, minus an arm and
-eye, with a mashed head, all the gilt rubbed off of his back and lying
-in a gutter, held his own opinion and gave it on all occasions. The
-result of this was that there existed a pretty general objection to
-them as patients, as they were, to say the least, awkward customers. I
-might whisper an aside very low and confidential of sick men who should
-have followed the good old wholesome rule of “early to bed and early to
-rise” taking their physic obediently in the morning, but disappearing
-at night,—“dew in the morning and mist at night,”—and I might also
-tell of passes altered and furloughs lengthened when there was no
-fighting going on, all very wicked, but certainly nothing unmanly or
-dishonorable. They never lingered around when honor called, and their
-record needs no additional tribute from my humble pen. When sectional
-feelings shall have died away and a fair narration of the Confederate
-struggle be written, they will find their laurel leaves fresh and green.
-
-
- _Good Wine needs no Bush._
-
-But to return to domestic details. My new wards were prepared, freshly
-whitewashed, and adorned with cedar boughs for the reception of the old
-line Maryland cavalry, and during their sojourn I experienced to its
-fullest extent the pleasure of ministering to the wants of grateful and
-satisfied soldiers. They brightened a short interval of laborious and
-harassing labors that lasted over four years, and left a sunny spot
-for memory to dwell on. After their departure many more of their State
-came, generally infantry, and difficulties still continued. It was
-impossible to give them their due share of attention, so great was the
-feeling of jealousy existing. If an invalid required special attention,
-and he proved to be a Marylander, though perhaps ignorant myself of
-the fact, many eyes watched me, and complaints were made to the nurses,
-and from them to the surgeons, till a report of partiality to them on
-my part made to the surgeon-in-chief, called forth a remonstrance on
-his part, and a request that all patients should be treated alike.
-Then came an unpleasant season of bickering and dissatisfaction, so
-that fearing I might be to blame in part, I studiously at last avoided
-inquiring to what corps a man belonged.
-
-
- _Annoyances._
-
-A courier of General A. P. Hill’s, very badly wounded, had been
-invalided for some time, and desirous of offering him some inducement
-to bear his fate more patiently, I had invited him to dine in my
-office, as soon as he could use his crutches. An invitation of this
-kind was often extended to men similarly situated; not that there were
-delicacies retained in my kitchen that did not reach the wards, but the
-request was a courtesy, and the food would be hot from the fire, and
-more comfortably served. Unfortunately he was a Marylander, and that
-some adverse report had been made was proved by an order attached to my
-window during the day, explaining that no patient would be permitted
-to enter the matron’s department under any circumstances, on penalty
-of punishment. This was uncalled-for and galling, so I pulled it down
-first, and then carried my complaint to the surgeon-in-chief.
-
-
- _Woman’s wit wins._
-
-No one ever applied to him in vain for either justice or courtesy.
-He naturally was unwilling to countermand this order positively, but
-told me significantly that although the hospital was to a certain
-extent under the control of the surgeon in charge, and subject to his
-orders, the private rooms, as well as kitchen and laundry attached
-to the matron’s department were under my management. As a woman will
-naturally sacrifice her comfort, convenience, pleasure, and privacy to
-have her own way, the result must be evident. My sleeping-room became
-a dining-room, and for the future I made what use of it I pleased,
-returning every night to my quarters at the Secretary’s.
-
-
- _The Flesh-Pots of Egypt._
-
-The next annoyance was the disappearance of all the Maryland patients;
-their wards being found empty one morning, and “no man living could
-tell where they had gone.” However, when the flesh-pots of the
-forsaken land were steaming at dinner-time, a small group revealed
-themselves of the missing tribes, and clustered around my window with
-cup and plate. They belonged to the infantry, and seemed unable to
-bear their exile. This continued for a couple of days, the applicants
-increasing at each meal, till a second visit to Dr. M. with a
-representation of the impossibility of feeding men for whom no rations
-had been drawn brought about a rescinding of the order for their exile,
-and from that time they and all of their corps who came to me were
-unmolested.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Anxieties._
-
-Feminine sympathy being much more demonstrative than masculine,
-particularly when compared with a surgeon’s unresponsiveness, who
-inured to the aspects of suffering, has more control over his
-professional feelings, the nurses often summoned me when only the
-surgeon was needed. One very cold night the same year, 1863, when
-sleeping at my hospital rooms, an answer was made to my demand as to
-who was knocking and what was wanted. The nurse from the nearest ward
-said, something was wrong with Fisher. Instructing him to find the
-doctor immediately and hastily getting on some clothing I hurried to
-the scene, for Fisher was an especial favorite. He was quite a young
-man, of about twenty years of age, who had been wounded ten months
-previously very severely, high up on the leg near the hip, and who
-by dint of hard nursing, good food and plenty of stimulant had been
-given a fair chance for recovery. The bones of the broken leg had
-slipped together, then lapped, and nature anxious as she always is to
-help herself had thrown a ligature across, uniting the severed parts;
-but after some time the side curved out, and the wounded leg was many
-inches shorter than its fellow. He had been the object of sedulous
-care on the part of all—surgeons, ward-master, nurse and matron, and
-the last effort made to assist him was by the construction of an
-open cylinder of pasteboard, made in my kitchen, of many sheets of
-coarse brown paper, cemented together with very stiff paste, and baked
-around the stove-pipe. This was to clasp by its own prepared curve
-the deformed hip, and be a support for it when he was able to use his
-crutches.
-
-
- _No Hope in this World._
-
-He had remained through all his trials, stout, fresh and hearty,
-interesting in appearance, and so gentle-mannered and uncomplaining
-that we all loved him. Supported on his crutches he had walked up and
-down his ward for the first time since he was wounded, and seemed
-almost restored. That same night he turned over and uttered an
-exclamation of pain.
-
-Following the nurse to his bed, and turning down the covering, a small
-jet of blood spurted up. The sharp edge of the splintered bone must
-have severed an artery. I instantly put my finger on the little orifice
-and awaited the surgeon. He soon came—took a long look and shook his
-head. The explanation was easy; the artery was imbedded in the fleshy
-part of the thigh and could not be taken up. No earthly power could
-save him.
-
-There was no object in detaining Dr. ——. He required his time and his
-strength, and long I sat by the boy, unconscious himself that any
-serious trouble was apprehended. The hardest trial of my duty was laid
-upon me; the necessity of telling a man in the prime of life, and
-fullness of strength that there was no hope for him.
-
-
- _Dead._
-
-It was done at last, and the verdict received patiently and
-courageously, some directions given by which his mother would be
-informed of his death, and then he turned his questioning eyes upon my
-face.
-
-“How long can I live?”
-
-“Only as long as I keep my finger upon this artery.” A pause ensued.
-God alone knew what thoughts hurried through that heart and brain,
-called so unexpectedly from all earthly hopes and ties. He broke the
-silence at last.
-
-“You can let go—”
-
-But I could not. Not if my own life had trembled in the balance. Hot
-tears rushed to my eyes, a surging sound to my ears, and a deathly
-coldness to my lips. The pang of obeying him was spared me, and for
-the first and last time during the trials that surrounded me for four
-years, I fainted away.
-
- ————
-
-
- _State Peculiarities and Differences._
-
-No words can do justice to the uncomplaining nature of the Southern
-soldier. Whether it arose from resignation or merely passive
-submission, yet when shown in the aggregate in a hospital, it was
-sublime. Day after day, whether lying wasted by disease or burning up
-with fever, torn with wounds or sinking from debility, a groan was
-seldom heard. The wounded wards would be noisily gay with singing,
-laughing, fighting battles o’er and o’er again, and playfully chaffing
-each other by decrying the troops from different States, each man
-applauding his own. When listening to them one would suppose that the
-whole Southern army with the exception of a few companies from the
-speaker’s section of country, were cowards. The up-country soldiers,
-born in the same States as those they derided, went even further
-and decried “them fellows from the seaboard, who let us do all the
-fighting.” The Georgians would romance of how the South Carolinians
-laid down at such a battle, refusing to charge, and how they had to
-“charge right over them.” The Mississippians of the backwardness of the
-Tennessee troops, who “would never go into action unless led by their
-commanding general.” The Virginians told bitter stories of the rowdyism
-of the Maryland volunteers, who were “always spreeing it in the city,
-and dancing attendance on the women,” and the North Carolinians caught
-it on all sides, though their record is undoubtedly a most gallant one.
-
-
- _Tar-Heel Tastes._
-
-Taken in the mass, the last were certainly most forlorn specimens,
-and their drawl was insufferable. Besides, they never under any
-circumstances would give me the satisfaction of hearing that they
-relished or even ate any food that was issued from my kitchen. “Say,
-can I have some sweet soup?” whined a voice from one bed, and “Look
-here, can I have some sour soup?” came from another. The sweet soup
-upon explanation proved to be stirred custard; the sour a mystery until
-the receipt was given. “You jist put a crock of buttermilk on the fire,
-and let it come to a bile; then mix up the yaller of an egg with some
-corn flour to make a paste; then punch off pieces of the dough, and
-bile them with the soup; with lots of pepper and salt.” The buttermilk
-when so tested by heat resolved itself into a sea of whey with a hard
-ball of curds in the center. I carried the saucepan to his bedside to
-show the results of his culinary directions; but he merely shook his
-head and remarked carelessly that “his mammy’s soup did not look like
-that.”
-
-
- _Babies even give up Milk._
-
-Many would not eat unless furnished with food to which they had been
-accustomed at home, and as unreasoning as brutes resisted nutriment
-and thus became weaker day after day; and whatever was new to the eye
-or palate was received suspiciously. Liquids in the form of soups,
-tea or coffee they turned from with disgust, so that the ordinary
-diet of invalids was inefficient in their case. Buttermilk seemed
-especially created by nature for wounded patients; they craved it with
-a drunkard’s thirst, and great, strong men have turned away from all
-else and implored a drink of sweet milk. We had a very short supply of
-this towards the end of the war, and I remember a stalwart Kentuckian,
-one of Morgan’s men, insisting upon the rare luxury of one cupfull. He
-had been for many months on a raid far out of Confederate limits, and
-returning slightly wounded, had no idea of the scarcity of forage that
-made our cows so dry. His pleading became really affecting, till at
-last rallying, I told him: “Why man! the very babies of the Confederacy
-have given up drinking milk, and here are you, six feet two, crying
-for it.”
-
-
- _Our Little Romance._
-
-Little poetical effusions were often thrust under my cabin door,
-and also notes of all kinds from my patients. Among them one day
-was a well-written and worded request from a young man who had been
-indisposed with that most hateful of all annoyances to soldiers—the
-itch; that shirt of Nessus, which when once attached to the person
-clings there pertinaciously. It begged me when at leisure to give him
-an interview, telling me his ward, name, and bed. He proved to be
-educated, and a gentleman from the upper part of Alabama, which had
-been colonized by the best class of South Carolinians; and he wished
-to enlist any influence I might possess in his favor, to endeavor to
-get him a furlough. His story was interesting. Engaged to a young
-girl, the preparations made, the ring even bought (he wore it next his
-heart), and the marriage day fixed, they heard the first rumors of war,
-and patriotism urging him to enlist, the parents of his sweetheart
-naturally refused to allow him to consummate the engagement until peace
-was restored. The desire to see her again became almost unbearable,
-and feeling sincere sympathy with him, and the hardship of the case,
-I tried but in vain to have him furloughed. The campaign of 1864 had
-opened and every man was needed in the field.
-
-
- _Loved and Lost._
-
-The finale of my story is a sad one, as are almost all stories in time
-of war. He was killed while repelling with his brigade the attack on
-Petersburg, and the little history confided to me resolved itself into
-a romance one night, that found shape and form:
-
-
- “ICH HABE GELEBT UND GELIEBT.”
-
- The bride’s robe is ready, the bridesmaids are bid,
- The groom clasps the circlet, so cautiously hid;
- For a home is now waiting a mistress to claim
- A lover, a wife, for his house, heart and name.
- There is peace in the homestead and mirth in the hall—
- The steed idly stands at his rack in the stall,
- The whole land is teeming with prosperous life,
- For lost are all memories of carnage and strife.
- With rich golden harvest the ripe hills are blest,
- And God’s providence stands revealed and confessed.
-
- * * * * *
-
- No priest blessed that union, no ring wed that hand;
- With anger and discord soon rang the whole land;
- Through all its wide domains the dread tidings rang
- Of bloodshed. The lover was first in the van.
- “My own one! I leave thee, those dear arms unfold.
- Wouldst wed with the timid—the doubtful—the cold?
- No union could bless till our country be free,
- So onward for liberty, glory—and thee!”
-
- * * * * *
-
- Right bravely fought he till sunlight lying low
- Discovered a field that had left him no foe;
- But when in the flush of a victory gained,
- Deep in dreams of his love—his honor unstained,
- He wended his way to the home of his heart
- From her side ne’er to swerve, from her love ne’er to part,
- Hast’ning on with his tidings he knew she would prize—
- His heart on his lips and his soul in his eyes;
- Laid low by a shot courage could not repel
- At the feet of a mightier victor—he fell!
- And the bride that he left? What needs it to say
- Her doom was a woman’s,—to watch, wait and pray.
- The heat of the struggle nerves man for the strife,
- But bitter at home is her battle of life,
- When far from the conflict, unheeded, alone,
- Her brain in a flame, but her heart like a stone,
- She patiently waits to hear _one_ life is won,
- Or silently prays to say—_His_ will be done!
-
- ————
-
-
- _The Conquering Hero comes again._
-
-The whiskey barrel, as I have said before, and suppose I shall often
-say again, had been a bone of contention from the beginning, and as it
-afterward proved, continued so to the end. Liquor commanded an enormous
-price in Dixie, and often if its lovers had the means to procure it,
-the opportunity was wanting, as the hospital was some distance from
-Richmond. When first installed in my office, the desire to conciliate,
-and the belief that men generally had some conscience even on the
-whiskey question led me to yield to urgent solicitations for it from
-many quarters; but the demands increased fearfully upon any concession.
-A reference to Dr. M. about this matter settled the heretofore open
-question. The doctor said the liquor was intended exclusively for
-the use of patients, and should only be used through a prescription
-accompanied by a written order. Also that I was personally responsible
-for the quantity confided to my care, and must each month produce the
-surgeon’s receipts to balance with the number of gallons drawn from the
-medical purveyor. There were at different times half a dozen surgeons
-and officials around, who absolutely made my life wretched by their
-importunities, and yet who could not be sent away except by preferring
-charges against them, and proving those charges; for my hospital was a
-military organization. I did not feel inclined to brave the publicity
-of preferred charges, for I seemed to have no recognized rank, and if
-even I could prove them, the complaints made would be ludicrously
-petty in detail, though distracting as mosquito bites in the aggregate.
-
-
- _Rats—Hopeless Inebriates._
-
-The modes adopted to outflank me were named “legion.” Some of them
-can be recalled. A quart bottle of whiskey would be ordered by the
-officer of the day for each ward, for night use, so that it would be
-ready at hand should any of the patients need this stimulant during the
-night. The next morning, on inquiry being made, there had been no case
-requiring its use, but the bottles would be empty, and expostulation
-on my part be met with explanations that the rats (who were a very
-plague), had knocked all the bottles over. On refusing to honor any
-more demands of the same kind, not believing in the rat story, the
-surgeon in charge would be appealed to, hear all sides, and favor none.
-This was just what I anticipated and wanted, for having, for the first
-few months of my occupation, lived in a state of active terror for
-fear of violating rules, however injurious the results of obeying, I
-recompensed myself from that time till the end of my sojourn by acting
-exactly as I thought right, braving the consequences, and preferring
-to be attacked to attacking.
-
-
- _What Constitutes a Lady?_
-
-One mode of annoying me was particularly offensive—sending a negro boy
-with a cup and a simple request for whiskey, as if it was the most
-natural act in the world. At first a polite refusal would be written,
-but if this mode should have been persevered in, a private secretary
-would have been necessary; so in time it was replaced by a curt “No.”
-A few minutes later the boy would again stand before me with the
-same message, and this would occur half a dozen times consecutively.
-I did not believe in vicarious punishment, so could not make the
-messenger responsible—he was compelled to obey; and sometimes, stung
-to irritation by this senseless pertinacity, I would write a note to
-the offending party, brief but sharp. The reply would be the same silly
-question I so often had to meet: “Did Mrs. —— consider herself a lady
-when she wrote such notes?” “No,” was always the indignant answer.
-“How could she be, when brought into contact with such elements?” It
-was strange, with so little outward self-assertion, always dressed in
-Georgia homespun, often the worse for wear, leather shoes, worsted
-gloves, and half the time with a skillet or coffee-pot in my hands,
-that all the common element around me should contest my right to a
-title to which I never aspired in words.
-
-This fact, which must have been patent to them from the active
-persecution it entailed, seemed to be a crying grievance. My life at
-my hospital quarters when relieved from care for the patients was
-exclusive, from habit, inclination and prudence. Living a great part of
-my time away from all intercourse with my own sex, in a solitude that
-was unbroken after dark, it was better that no intimacies should be
-formed and no preferences shown; and in an exposed position where Argus
-eyes were always watching, a woman could not be too careful.
-
-
- _The Hero again._
-
-But still the wars of the whiskey barrel continued. One day the men
-of one of the distant wards sent for me in the absence of their
-ward-master, and complained that the liquor issued for them never
-reached them. All concurred in this report, and said the champagne
-bottles in which it was kept were hid behind a certain vacant bed,
-from whence they would be abstracted that night. A search on
-my part brought them to light, still full, although the hour of
-administering had long past. The ward-master was summoned, the full
-bottles exhibited, and expressing my surprise at the inhumanity and
-dishonesty of one I had heretofore thought so honest, I warned him of
-the consequences that would result to him. His protestations were so
-earnest that he never tasted liquor, that I could not disbelieve him.
-What then had “become of the quantity issued, had he sold it?”
-
-The charge was met by indignant surprise, and then the truth began to
-dawn upon me. That he had been false to his charge and his patients was
-true, if even he had not been guilty of taking it, and I warned him
-that on my representing the matter to the proper authorities he would
-be sent to the field. An hour after this conversation the surgeon of
-his ward entered my office with belligerent aspect.
-
-
- _Military Law Declared._
-
-“Did you assert, Madam, that you intended sending my ward-master to the
-field?”
-
-“I said I intended laying the facts concerning the disappearance of
-the liquor before the proper authorities.”
-
-“I consider myself responsible, Madam, for the liquor used in my wards.”
-
-“If you do, you fail to be sure that it reaches its destination, so I
-intend in future to see that it does.”
-
-“If you mean that my ward-master drinks it, you are mistaken; he does
-not take any stimulant.”
-
-“I know he does not,” I answered quietly, “and I also know who does.”
-
-He changed color, and passing him I walked into my little sanctum
-adjoining the office. To my astonishment he kicked back the door and
-also entered.
-
-“Doctor, this is my private room,” I said, “to which no one is
-admitted. Be kind enough to leave.”
-
-“Not until you explain,” he answered, throwing himself at full length
-upon the couch.
-
-This was just far enough for him to venture. I threw back my window,
-and called to the sentry to order up a sergeant and file of the guard.
-In a few minutes the ring of their muskets outside sounded, and taking
-out my watch, I placed it on the table by him.
-
-
- _Five Minutes’ Grace._
-
-“I will give you five minutes,” I said, “to leave my room. If you are
-not gone by that time, commissioned officer as you are, and gentleman
-as you ought to be, I will have you taken to the guard-house, and then
-explain this matter to the surgeon-general.”
-
-He waited a minute or two, soliloquizing audibly that I must fancy
-myself the Secretary of War, and he would make me know my position, but
-soon made up his mind that discretion was the better part of valor, and
-left. Proper measures were no doubt taken to punish such conduct, for
-though I made no complaint, there were no secrets in a hospital, and
-after a few weeks he disappeared, sent no doubt to that Botany Bay—“the
-front.” He took a gallant leave of his associates, hinting that his
-talents demanded a wider field of action than a hospital.
-
-But the tables were about to be turned. Not forever would I be allowed
-to carry war into the enemy’s country, or be the sole defender of
-that friend by whom I had stood so gallantly. The whiskey barrel was
-destined after all to be turned into a weapon of offense.
-
-
- _The Tables Turned._
-
-The bold man who thus declared hostilities, and by a _coup-de-guerre_
-changed the whole nature of the war from offensive to defensive
-tactics, had been bar-keeper in a Georgia tavern, afterwards a clerk in
-a Macon dispensary, in order to escape field duty. Coming to Richmond
-he passed the board of surgeons by a process known only to themselves,
-which often rejected good practitioners, and gave appointments to
-apothecary boys.
-
-Fate sent him to our hospital, where the brilliant idea struck him to
-check thefts of whiskey in the feminine department. He inaugurated his
-plans by ordering a pint of it for a single patient.
-
-The etiquette of a hospital enjoins that no one but the chief surgeon
-shall dispute an inferior surgeon’s prescription, so I carried this
-generous order to the chief, received his instructions not to exceed
-the usual “from two to four ounces” without being served with a formal
-requisition signed by the surgeon in charge, and so I wrote this
-gentleman (a contract surgeon) a few lines, courteously explanatory
-of my reasons for so cutting him down. This matter being arranged,
-I forgot all about it, but the next day the blow was struck; the
-following note being handed to me:
-
-
- “HOSPITAL, Richmond, April 3, 1864.
-
- “The Chief Matron:—Is respectfully asked to state the amount of water
- used as compared with amount of whiskey in making toddy. Also if
- strength of toddy has been uniform since January 1st, 1863. Also if
- any change has taken place in diluting within the same period. She
- will also state what the change has been; also when made, and by whose
- authority.
- “Respectfully,
- “——— ———,
- “Assistant Surgeon in charge.”
-
-
- _Concise, but not Clear._
-
-These questions, if even he had any right to ask them (which he had
-not), were simply absurd. With hundreds of men requiring different
-drinks many times each day, ordered by numerous surgeons, prepared to
-suit different stages of disease and palate, no hour bringing the same
-orders, how could any kind of a correct statement be made, even if I
-was willing to make it? But there was a great deal of amusement in the
-idea of letting him suppose he had alarmed me. Perhaps, as the day was
-very wet, and the wards rather empty, we might enact a small comedy; so
-I sat down and answered in full, respectfully, feeling very charitably
-that he was welcome to all the information he could extract from the
-five closely-written sheets of foolscap I despatched him.
-
-
- _A Storm Brewing._
-
-In this document, polite, officially formal and as officially obscure,
-I thought I had succeeded in showing my correspondent that his
-questions could not be answered satisfactorily, but that I was much
-alarmed at his asking them. That I did not succeed in regard to his
-first inquiry was proved by the following, which came after an hour’s
-delay.
-
-
- “HOSPITAL, April 3rd, 1864.
-
- “Chief Matron:—Is respectfully called upon to state what amount of
- whiskey has been given to each patient when amount has not been stated
- or expressed by surgeon, or assistant surgeon, upon the rolls, but
- instead ‘whiskey three times a day,’ and shown upon the rolls which
- _I_ send _you_.
- “Respectfully,
- “——— ———,
- “Assistant Surgeon in charge.”
-
-
- _Diplomatic Correspondence._
-
-No solemn pages greeted him in answer this time. My rejoinder was
-concise and to the point.
-
-
- “HOSPITAL, April 3rd, 1864.
-
- “The Chief Matron regrets that she is too busily engaged to give any
- more voluminous explanations, being at this moment up to her elbows in
- gingerbread.”
-
-
-Then the sleeping lion was roused, for almost instantly the reply was
-brought me, and an alarming finale it was.
-
-
- “HOSPITAL, April 3rd, 1864.
-
- “Chief Matron: Is hereby informed that if she willfully and
- contumaciously refuses to give me such information as I demand, and
- she is possessed of, thereby obstructing the duty I feel myself called
- upon to perform, she must be prepared to _meet_ the responsibility
- upon _your own shoulders_.
- “Respectfully,
- “——— ———,
- “Assistant Surgeon in charge.”
-
-
- _Confusion of Tenses._
-
-A serious but sharp rejoinder sent to this gentleman, trying to show
-him that he had no authority to propound these questions, closed
-this paper war; and I had forgotten all about the matter, when the
-correspondence was forwarded me, folded in official style, and indorsed
-at the surgeon-general’s office on the back “Referred respectfully to
-the surgeon-in-chief —— Hospital,” through whose hands alone official
-etiquette required all reports should pass to heads of departments.
-He had courteously sent it to me, and I as courteously sent it to the
-forwarder. Seeing that he had failed to interest the surgeon-general
-in the case, he drew up a statement of the affair, accusing me of
-disrespect (based upon the gingerbread letter particularly) to my
-_superior officer_, sending it accompanied by all the obnoxious notes
-to the office of the military governor of the department of Henrico,
-who I heard read it all with some amazement—if not interest.
-
-
- _How History is made._
-
-Back, however, it came shortly again without response, and by this
-time some of the waggish surgeons having been made confidants in the
-matter, persuaded my disappointed friend to try the secretary of war;
-and at one of the charming breakfasts which his wife was in the habit
-of giving, I saw him with a smile draw from his pocket a package I knew
-well by that time, and made my escape just in time to avoid hearing it
-all over again. As I mounted the ambulance in waiting to take me to my
-hospital, I heard the peals of laughter that greeted the reading of
-those unlucky documents.
-
-My acquaintance with my correspondent was never renewed. He kept out
-of my way. The only time I ever saw him again was the day he left and
-I viewed his pantaloons of Georgia clay embrowning the landscape adown
-the hill.
-
-
- _Non-intervention._
-
-A better educated class of surgeons was sent to fill fortunate
-vacancies, and this change made my duties more agreeable. There would
-have been nothing disagreeable in the occupation I had assumed if a
-proper discretion had been exercised, or proper rules enforced, so
-that no demands should have been made upon the matron for that which
-she had no right to give. These demands were the beginning and end of
-my troubles; for in all else except complying with them I tried hard
-not to exceed the duties of my position, and succeeded so well that
-no temptation could induce me to interfere in any way with medical
-treatment, not even to offering the slightest alleviation to suffering
-men. During my early initiation, when quite a novice, yielding to
-a poor fellow’s prayer for something to wash a mouth frightfully
-excoriated by calomel I gave him a few drops of myrrh in water, I
-suffered the annoyance of seeing it contemptuously tossed out of the
-window by the assistant surgeon. From that day I made up my mind to
-resist all such impulses and persevered in the same line of conduct to
-the end.
-
-
- _Amende._
-
-But antagonism was not always the rule. There were many sensible,
-kind-hearted, efficient men among the surgeons who gave their time
-and talents generously to further the comfort and well-being of their
-patients,—men who would let me work hand in hand with them, the nurse
-with the doctor, and listen kindly and respectfully to my suggestions,
-if they were not calculated to benefit science. As I have said, the
-chief surgeon was an unfailing refuge in times of distress, and
-whenever broken down by fatigue and small miseries I sought his advice
-and assistance, the first was not only the very best that could be
-secured, but unlike most of its kind, palatable; and the last entirely
-efficient. The surgeon too of my hospital though eccentric and wanting
-in decision of character, sustained my authority during sore trials as
-ably as he could; for the power delegated to him was not great, and his
-dread of responsibility a disease. He never intended to be unjust or
-unkind, but self-examination and investigation of characters around him
-was not his forte. He certainly withstood a vast amount of complaint
-directed against his chief matron; and while we had our pleasant little
-difficulties occasionally, that we still preserved amicable relations
-was due more to his amiable temper than my proper submission. I _think_
-he had many faults, but I am sure I had more, and if the popular remark
-which has since become a maxim, that a man must be very clever to
-“keep a hotel” be true, it certainly ought to apply to one who can
-govern a hospital.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Sadness and Doubts._
-
-Now during the summer of 1864 began what is really meant by “war,”
-for privations had to be endured which tried body and soul, and which
-temper and patience had to meet unflinchingly day and night. A growing
-want of confidence was forced upon the mind; and with doubts which
-though unexpressed were felt as to the ultimate success of our cause,
-there came into play the antagonistic qualities of human nature.
-
-
- _Sorrow and Privation._
-
-The money worthless, and a weak Congress and weaker financier failing
-to make it much more valuable than the paper it was printed on; the
-former refusing to the last to raise the hospital fund to meet the
-depreciation. Everything furnished through government contracts of the
-very poorest description, perhaps necessarily so from the difficulty of
-finding any supply.
-
-The railroads constantly cut so that what had been carefully collected
-in the country in the form of poultry and vegetables by hospital agents
-would be rendered unfit for use by the time the connection would be
-restored. The inducements for theft in this season of scarcity of
-food and clothing. The pathetic appeals made for the coarsest meal by
-starving men, all wore upon the health and strength of those exposed
-to the strain, and made life weary and hopeless. The rations became
-so small about this time that every ounce of flour was valuable, and
-there were days when it was necessary to refuse with aching heart and
-brimming eyes the request of decent, manly-looking fellows for a piece
-of dry corn-bread. If given it would have robbed the rightful owner
-of part of his scanty rations. After the flour or meal had been made
-into bread, it was almost ludicrous to see with what painful solicitude
-Miss G. and myself would count the rolls, or hold a council over the
-pans of corn-bread, measuring with a string how large we could afford
-to cut the squares, to be apportioned to a certain number. Sometimes
-when from the causes above stated, the supplies were not issued as
-usual, invention had to be taxed to an extreme, and every available
-article in our pantry brought into requisition. We had constantly to
-fall back upon dried apples and rice for convalescing appetites, and
-herb-tea and arrowroot for the very ill. There was only one way of
-making the last at all palatable, and that was by drenching it with
-whiskey. Long abstinence in the field from everything that could be
-considered, even then, a delicacy, had exaggerated the fancy of sick
-men for any particular article of food they wanted into a passion; and
-they begged for such peculiar dishes that surgeons and nurses might
-well be puzzled. The greatest difficulty in granting these desires was
-that tastes became contagious, and whatever one patient asked for,
-his neighbor and the one next to him, and so on throughout the wards,
-craved also, and it was impossible to decide upon whom to draw a check.
-
-
- _No Change._
-
-No one unacquainted with our domestic relations can appreciate the
-difficulties under which we labored. Stoves in any degree of newness
-or usefulness we did not have; they were rare and expensive luxuries.
-As may be supposed, they were not the most convenient articles in the
-world to pack away in blockade-running vessels; and the trouble and
-expense of land transportation also seriously affected the quality
-of the wood for fuel, furnished us. Timber which had been condemned
-heretofore as unfit for use, light, soggy and decayed, became the only
-quality available. The bacon too, cured the first two years of the
-war, when salt commanded an enormous price, in most cases was spoilt,
-from the economy used in preparing that article; and bacon was one of
-the sinews of war. We kept up brave hearts, and said we could eat the
-simplest fare, and wear the coarsest clothing, but there was absolutely
-nothing to be bought that did not rank as a luxury. It was wasting time
-and brain to attempt to economize, so we bent to the full force of
-that wise precept, “Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.” There
-really was a great deal of heroism displayed when looking back, at the
-calm courage with which I learned to count the number of mouths to be
-fed daily, and then contemplating the food, calculate not how much
-but how little each man could be satisfied with. War may be glorious
-in all its panoply and pride, when in the field opposing armies meet
-and strive for victory; but battles fought by starving the sick and
-wounded—by crushing in by main force day by day all the necessities of
-human nature, make victories hardly worth the name.
-
-
- _Educated Rats._
-
-Another of my local troubles were the rats, who felt the times, and
-waxed strong and cunning, defying all attempts to entrap them, and
-skillfully levying blackmail upon us day by day, and night after
-night. Hunger had educated their minds and sharpened their reasoning
-faculties. Other vermin, the change of seasons would rid us of, but
-the coldest day in winter, and the hottest in summer, made no apparent
-difference in their vivacious strategy. They examined traps with the
-air of connoisseurs, sometimes springing them from a safe position,
-and kicked over the bread spread with butter and strychnine to show
-their contempt for such underhand warfare. The men related wonderful
-rat-stories not well enough authenticated to put on record, but their
-gourmands ate all the poultices applied during the night to the sick,
-and dragged away the pads stuffed with bran from under the arms and
-legs of the wounded.
-
-
- _Rat Surgeon._
-
-They even performed a surgical operation which would have entitled any
-of them to pass the board. A Virginian had been wounded in the very
-center of the instep of his left foot. The hole made was large, and
-the wound sloughed fearfully around a great lump of proud flesh which
-had formed in the center like an island. The surgeons feared to remove
-this mass, as it might be connected with the nerves of the foot, and
-lock-jaw might ensue. Poor Patterson would sit on his bed all day
-gazing at his lame foot and bathing it with a rueful face, which had
-brightened amazingly one morning when I paid him a visit. He exhibited
-it with great glee, the little island gone, and a deep hollow left, but
-the wound washed clean and looking healthy. Some skillful rat surgeon
-had done him this good service while in the search for luxuries, and
-he only knew that on awaking in the morning he had found the operation
-performed.
-
-
- _Novel style of catching them._
-
-I never had but one personal interview with any of them. An ancient
-gray gentleman, who looked a hundred years old, both in years and
-depravity, would eat nothing but butter, when that article was twenty
-dollars a pound; so finding all means of getting rid of him fail
-through his superior intelligence, I caught him with a fish-hook, well
-baited with a lump of his favorite butter, dropped into his domicile
-under the kitchen floor. Epicures sometimes managed to entrap them and
-secure a nice broil for supper, declaring that their flesh was superior
-to squirrel meat; but never having tasted it, I cannot add my testimony
-to its merits. They staid with us to the last, nor did I ever observe
-any signs of a desire to change their politics. Perhaps some curious
-_gourmet_ may wish a recipe for the best mode of cooking them. The rat
-must be skinned, cleaned, his head cut off and his body laid open upon
-a square board, the legs stretched to their full extent and secured
-upon it with small tacks, then baste with bacon fat and roast before a
-good fire quickly like canvas-back ducks.
-
- ————
-
-
- _No Personal Animosities._
-
-One of the remarkable features of the war was the perfect good nature
-with which the rebels discussed their foes. In no instance up to a
-certain period did I hear of any remark that savored of personal
-hatred. They fought for a cause and against a power, and would speak in
-depreciation of a corps or brigade; but “they fit us, and we fit them,”
-was the whole story generally and till the blowing up of the mine at
-Petersburg there was a gay, insouciant style in their descriptions of
-the war scenes passing under their observation. But after that time
-the sentiment changed from an innate feeling the Southern soldiers had
-that mining was “a mean trick,” as they expressed it. They were not
-sufficiently versed in military tactics to recognize that stratagem
-is fair in war, and what added to their indignation was the pouring
-in of _negro_ soldiers when the breach was effected. Incensed at the
-surprise, they craved foes worthier of their steel, not caring to
-rust it in the black cloud that issued from the crater. The men had
-heretofore been calm and restrained, particularly before a woman, never
-using oaths or improper language, but the wounded that were brought in
-from that fight emulated the talents of Uncle Toby’s army in Flanders,
-and eyes gleamed, and teeth clenched as they showed me the locks of
-their muskets, to which the blood and hair still clung, when after
-firing, without waiting to re-load, they had clenched the barrels and
-fought hand to hand. If their accounts could be relied upon, it was a
-gallant strife and a desperate one, and ghastly wounds bore testimony
-of the truth of many a tale then told.
-
-
- _The Bitter Blood._
-
-Once again the bitter blood showed itself, when, after a skirmish,
-the foe cut the rail track, so that the wounded could not be brought
-to the city. Of all the monstrous crimes that war sanctions, this is
-surely the most sinful. Wounded soldiers without the shelter of a roof,
-or the comfort of a bed of straw, left exposed to sun, dew, and rain,
-with hardly the prospect of a warm drink or decent food for days,
-knowing that comfortable quarters awaited them, all ready prepared,
-but rendered useless by what seems an unnecessarily cruel act. Was it
-any wonder that their habitual indifference to suffering gave way, and
-the soldier cursed loud and deep at a causeless inhumanity, which, if
-practiced habitually, is worse than savage? When the sufferers at last
-reached the hospital, their wounds had not been attended to for three
-days, and the sight of them was shocking.
-
-
- _A Common Sight._
-
-Busy in my kitchen, seeing that the supply of necessary food was in
-preparation, I was spared the sight of much of the suffering, but on
-passing among the ambulances going in and out of the wards I descried
-seated up in one of them a dilapidated figure, both hands holding his
-head which was tied up with rags of all descriptions. He appeared to be
-incapable of talking, but nodded and winked and made motions with head
-and feet. In the general confusion he had been forgotten, so I took him
-under my especial charge. He was taken into a ward, seated on a bed,
-while I stood on a bench to be able to unwind rag after rag from around
-his head. There was no sensitiveness on his part, for his eye was merry
-and bright, but when the last came off, what a sight!
-
-
- _A Looking-Glass Wanted._
-
-Two balls had passed through his cheek and jaw within half an inch
-of each other, knocking out the teeth on both sides and cutting the
-tongue in half. The inflammation caused the swelling to be immense,
-and the absence of all previous attendance, in consequence of the
-detention of the wounded until the road could be mended, had aggravated
-the symptoms. There was nothing fatal to be apprehended, but fatal
-wounds are not always the most trying. The sight of this was the most
-sickening my long experience had ever seen. The swollen lips turned
-out, and the mouth filled with blood, matter, fragments of teeth from
-amidst all of which the maggots in countless numbers swarmed and
-writhed, while the smell generated by this putridity was unbearable.
-Castile soap and soft sponges soon cleansed the offensive cavity, and
-he was able in an hour to swallow some nourishment he drew through a
-quill. The following morning I found him reading the newspaper, and
-entertaining every one about him by his abortive attempts to make
-himself understood, and in a week he actually succeeded in doing
-so. The first request distinctly enunciated was that he wanted a
-looking-glass to see if his sweetheart would be willing to kiss him
-when she saw him. We all assured him that she would not be worthy of
-the name if she would not be delighted to do so.
-
-
- _Vaccination._
-
-An order come about this time to clear out the lower wards for the
-reception of improperly-vaccinated patients, who soon after arrived in
-great numbers. They were dreadfully afflicted objects, many of them
-with sores so deep and thick upon arms and legs that amputation had
-to be resorted to, to preserve life. As fast as the eruption would be
-healed in one spot, it would break out in another, for the blood seemed
-entirely poisoned. The unfortunate victims bore the infliction as they
-had borne everything else painful—with calm patience and indifference
-to suffering. Sometimes a favorable comparison would be made between
-this and the greater loss of limbs.
-
-
- _Prisoners of War._
-
-No one who was a daily witness to their agonies from this cause,
-can help feeling indignant at charges made of inhumanity to Federal
-prisoners of war, who were vaccinated with the same virus; and while on
-this subject, though it may be outside of the recollections of hospital
-life, I cannot help stating that on no occasion was the question of
-rations and medicines to be issued for Federal prisoners discussed
-in my presence; and circumstances placed me where I had the best
-opportunity of hearing the truth (living with the wife of a Cabinet
-officer); that good evidence was not given, that the Confederate
-commissary-general, by order of the government issued to them the same
-rations it gave its soldiers in the field, and only when reductions of
-food had to be made in our army, were they also made in the prisons.
-The question of supplies for them was an open and a vexed one among the
-people generally, and angry and cruel things were _said_; but everyone
-cognizant of facts in Richmond _knows_ that even when Gen. Lee’s
-army lived on corn-meal at times that the prisoners still received
-their usual rations. At a cabinet meeting when the Commissary-general
-Northrop advocated putting the prisoners on the half rations which our
-soldiers had been obliged to content themselves with for some time,
-Gen. Lee opposed him on the ground that men animated by companionship
-and active service could be satisfied with less than prisoners with no
-hope and leading an inactive life. Mr. Davis sided with him, and the
-question was settled that night, although in his anger Mr. Northrop
-accused Gen. Lee of showing this consideration because his son was a
-prisoner in the enemy’s lines.
-
-
- _Unwelcome Visitors._
-
-My hospital was now entirely composed of Virginians and Marylanders,
-and the nearness to the homes of the former entailed upon me an
-increase of care in the shape of wives, sisters, cousins, aunts, and
-whole families including the historic baby at the breast. They came
-in troops, and hard as it was to know how to dispose of them, it was
-harder to send them away. Sometimes they brought their provisions with
-them, but not often, and even when they did there was no place for them
-to cook their food. It must be remembered that everything was reduced
-to the lowest minimum, even fuel. They could not remain all day in
-the wards with men around them, and if even they were so willing, the
-restraint on wounded, restless patients who wanted to throw their limbs
-about with freedom during hot summer days, was unbearable.
-
-
- _An Unexpected Gathering._
-
-Generally their only idea of kindness was giving sick men what food
-they would take in any quantity and of every quality, and in the
-furtherance of their views they were pugnacious in the extreme.
-Whenever rules circumscribed their plans they abused the government,
-then the hospital and then myself. Many ludicrous incidents happened
-daily, and I have often laughed heartily at seeing the harassed
-ward-master heading away a pertinacious female who failing to get past
-him at one door would try the three others perseveringly. They seemed
-to think it a pious and patriotic duty not to be afraid or ashamed
-under _any_ circumstances. One sultry day I found a whole family
-accompanied by two young lady friends seated around a wounded man’s
-bed; as I passed through six hours later, they held the same position.
-
-
- _Counterchecks._
-
-“Had not you all better go home?” I said good-naturedly.
-
-“We came to see my cousin,” answered one very crossly. “He is wounded.”
-
-“But you have been with him all morning, and that is a restraint upon
-the other men. Come again to-morrow.”
-
-A consultation was held, but when it ceased no movement was made, the
-older ones only lighting their pipes and smoking in silence.
-
-“Will you come back to-morrow, and go now?”
-
-“No! You come into the wards when you please, and so will we!”
-
-“But it is my duty to do so. Besides, I always ask permission to enter,
-and never stay longer than fifteen minutes at a time.”
-
-Another unbroken silence, which was a trial to any patience left, and
-finding no movement made, I handed some clothing to a patient near.
-
-“Here is a clean shirt and drawers for you, Mr. Wilson; put them on as
-soon as I get out of the ward.”
-
-
- _Checkmated._
-
-I had hardly reached my kitchen, when the whole procession, pipes and
-all, passed me solemnly and angrily; but for many days, and even weeks,
-there was no ridding the place of this large family connection. Their
-sins were manifold. They overfed their relative who was recovering from
-an attack of typhoid fever, and even defiantly seized the food for the
-purpose from under my very nose. They marched on me _en masse_ at ten
-o’clock at night, with a requisition from the boldest for sleeping
-quarters. The steward was summoned, and said “he didn’t keep a hotel,”
-so in a weak moment of pity for their desolate state, I imprudently
-housed them in my laundry. They entrenched themselves there for six
-days, making predatory incursions into my kitchen during my temporary
-absences, ignoring Miss G. completely. The object of their solicitude
-recovered and was sent to the field, and finding my writs of ejectment
-were treated with contemptuous silence, I sought an explanation. The
-same spokeswoman alluded to above, met me half-way. She said a battle
-was imminent she had heard, and she had determined to remain, as her
-husband might be wounded. In the ensuing press of business she was
-forgotten, and strangely enough, her husband was brought in with a
-bullet in his neck the following week. The back is surely fitted to the
-burden, so I contented myself with retaking my laundry, and letting her
-shift for herself, while a whole month slipped away. One morning my
-arrival was greeted with a general burst of merriment from everybody
-I met, white and black. Experience had made me sage, and my first
-question was a true shot, right in the center.
-
-
- _Unexpected and Unwelcome Visitor._
-
-“Where is Mrs. Daniells?” (she who had always been spokeswoman).
-
-“In ward G. She has sent for you two or three times.”
-
-“What is the matter now?”
-
-“You must go and see.”
-
-There was something going on, either amusing or amiss. I entered ward
-G, and walked up to Daniells’ bed. One might have heard a pin drop.
-
-I had supposed, up to this time, that I had been called upon to bear
-and suffer every annoyance that humanity and the state of the country
-could inflict; but here was something most unexpected in addition; for
-lying composedly on her husband’s cot (he had relinquished it for the
-occasion), lay Mrs. Daniells, and her baby, just two hours old.
-
-
- _What shall I do with it?_
-
-The conversation that ensued is not worth repeating, being more of the
-nature of soliloquy. The poor little wretch had ventured into a bleak
-and comfortless portion of the world, and its inhuman mother had not
-provided a rag to cover it. No one could scold her at such a time,
-however ardently they might desire to do so. But what was to be done?
-I went in search of my chief surgeon, and our conversation although
-didactic was hardly satisfactory on the subject.
-
-“Doctor, Mrs. Daniells has a baby. She is in ward G. What shall I do
-with her?”
-
-“A baby! Bless me! Ah indeed! You must get it some clothes.”
-
-“What must I do with _her_?”
-
-“Move her to an empty ward and give her some tea and toast.”
-
-This was offered, but Mrs. D. said she would wait until dinner-time and
-have some bacon and greens.
-
-The baby was a sore annoyance. The ladies of Richmond made up a
-wardrobe, each contributing some article, and at the end of the month,
-Mrs D., the child, and a basket of clothing and provisions were sent
-to the cars with a return ticket to her home in western Virginia. My
-feelings of relief can be imagined. But the end had not come. An hour
-after the ambulance had started with them, it stopped at my kitchen
-door apparently empty, and the black driver with a grin half of
-delighted mischief and half of fear silently lifted a bundle out and
-deposited it carefully upon my kitchen dresser. Mrs. Daniells’ baby!
-
-
- _As Godmother._
-
-The unnatural woman had deserted it, leaving it in the railroad depot,
-but the father fortunately was still with us and to him I appealed. A
-short furlough was obtained for him, and he was despatched home with
-his embarrassing charge and a quart of milk. He was a wretched picture
-of helplessness, but had I sent again for the mother I should never
-have got rid of her. It may be remarked _en passant_ that she was not
-wholly ungrateful, for the baby was named after me.
-
-
- _Home-sickness._
-
-There were no means of keeping the relations of patients from coming
-to them. There had been rules made to meet their invasion, but it was
-impossible to carry them out, as in the instance of a wife wanting
-to remain with her husband; and besides even the better class of
-people looked upon the comfort and care of a hospital as a farce. They
-resented the detention there of men who in many instances could lie in
-bed and point to their homes within sight, and argued that they would
-have better attention and food if allowed to go to their families.
-That _maladie du pays_ called commonly nostalgia, the home-sickness
-which wrings the heart and impoverishes the blood, killed many a brave
-soldier; and the matron who day by day had to stand helpless and
-powerless by the bed of the sufferer, knowing that a week’s furlough
-would make his heart sing for joy, and save his wife from widowhood,
-learned the most bitter lesson of endurance that could be taught.
-
-This home-sickness recognized no palliation. However carefully the
-appetite might be pampered, or stimulants prepared and given, the
-food never nourished, the drink never strengthened; the decay would
-be gradual, but death was inevitable. Perhaps when recovery seemed
-hopeless, a statement of the case might procure a furlough from the
-examining board of surgeons, but the patient would then be too weak and
-low to profit by the concession. It was wonderful to see how long the
-poor broken machine would hold out in some cases. For months I have
-watched a victim, helpless, hopeless, and motionless, simply receive
-into his mouth daily a few spoonfuls of nourishment, making no other
-movement, the skin barely covering the bones, and the skeleton of the
-face as sharply defined as it might have been days after dissolution.
-The answer to cheering words seldom exceeding a slight movement of the
-eyelids. Towards the end of the war, this detention of men who could
-have been furloughed at first, and some other abuses were reformed
-by allowing a board to be convened of three of the oldest surgeons
-attached to the hospital, who had authority to dispose of such cases
-without deferring to higher powers. There had been so much imposition
-practiced by men desirous of getting furloughs, and so many abuses
-had crept in despite the stringency of rules, that severity seemed
-necessary.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Spring Operations._
-
-The spring campaign of 1864 again opened with the usual “On to
-Richmond.” Day after day and night after night would the sudden
-explosion of cannon boom upon the air. The enemy were always coming,
-and curiosity seemed to have usurped the place of fear among the
-women. In the silence of night the alarm bells would suddenly peal
-out, till the order to ring them at any sign of danger was modified to
-a command to sound them only in case of positive attack. The people
-became so accustomed to the report of fire-arms, that they scarcely
-interrupted their conversation at corners of the streets to ask in what
-direction the foe was advancing, or if there was any foe at all.
-
-There was such entire reliance upon the military vigilance that guarded
-the city, and former attacks had been so promptly repelled, that
-whatever was ultimately to be the result of the war, no one trembled
-then for Richmond. So the summer of 1864 passed, and early in September
-our hearts were gladdened by the tidings that the exchange of prisoners
-was to be renewed. The sick and wounded of our hospital (but few in
-number just then), were transferred to other quarters, and the wards
-put in order to receive our men from Northern prisons.
-
-
- _Unpleasant Truths._
-
-Can any pen or pencil do justice to those squalid pictures of famine
-and desolation? Those gaunt, lank skeletons with the dried yellow flesh
-clinging to bones enlarged by dampness and exposure? Those pale,
-bluish lips and feverish eyes, glittering and weird when contrasted
-with the famine-stricken faces,—that flitting, piteous, scared smile
-which greeted their fellow creatures, all will live forever before the
-mental vision that then witnessed it.
-
-Living and dead were taken from the flag-of-truce boat, not
-distinguishable save from the difference of care exercised in moving
-them. The Federal prisoners we had released were in many instances in
-a like state, but our ports had been blockaded, our harvests burned,
-our cattle stolen, our country wasted. Even had we felt the desire to
-succor, where could the wherewithal have been found? But the foe,—the
-ports of the world were open to him. He could have fed his prisoners
-upon milk and honey, and not have missed either. When we review the
-past, it would seem that Christianity was but a name—that the Atonement
-had failed, and Christ had lived and died in vain.
-
-
- _Cast your bread upon the waters._
-
-But it was no time then for vague reflections. With beating heart,
-throbbing head and icy hands I went among this army of martyrs
-and spectres whom it was almost impossible to recognize as human
-beings; powerless to speak to them, choking with unavailing pity, but
-still striving to aid and comfort. There was but little variety of
-appearance. From bed to bed the same picture met the eye. Hardly a
-vestige of human appearance left.
-
-
- _Draw the Vail down._
-
-The passion of sympathy could only impede my efforts if yielded to, for
-my hand shook too tremulously even to allow me to put the small morsels
-of bread soaked in wine into their mouths. It was all we dared to give
-at first. Some laid as if dead with limbs extended, but the greater
-part had drawn up their knees to an acute angle, a position they never
-changed until they died. Their more fortunate comrades said that the
-attitude was generally assumed, as it reduced the pangs of hunger and
-relieved the craving that gnawed them by day and by night. The Federal
-prisoners may have been starved at the South, we cannot deny the truth
-of the charge, in many instances; but we starved with them; we had only
-a little to share with any—but the subject had better be left to die in
-silence.
-
-
- _A Common Story._
-
-One among them lingered in patience the usual three days that
-appeared to be their allotted space of life on their return. He was a
-Marylander, heir to a name renowned in the history of his country,[1]
-the last of seven sons reared in affluence, but presenting the same
-bluish, bloodless appearance common to them all. Hoping that there
-would be some chance of his rallying, I gave him judicious nursing
-and good brandy. Every precaution was taken, but the third day fever
-supervened and the little life left waned rapidly. He gave me the
-trinkets cut from gutta percha buttons that he had beguiled his
-captivity in making at Point Lookout, to send to his family, handing me
-one of them for a souvenir; begged that he might be buried apart from
-the crowd in some spot where those who knew and cared for him might
-find him some day, and quietly slept himself to death that night.
-
-
- _A Strange Experience._
-
-The next morning was the memorable 29th September, 1864, when the enemy
-made a desperate and successful attack, taking Fort Harrison, holding
-it and placing Richmond in jeopardy for four hours. The alarm bells
-summoned the citizens together, and the shops being closed to allow
-those who kept them to join the city guards, there were no means of
-buying a coffin, or getting a hearse. It was against the rules to keep
-a body beyond a certain time on the hospital grounds, so little time
-was to be lost if I intended keeping my promise to the dead. I summoned
-a convalescent carpenter from one of the wards, made him knock together
-a rough coffin from some loose boards, and taking the seats out of my
-ambulance had it, with the body enclosed, put in. My driver was at his
-post with the guards, so taking the reins and kneeling in the little
-space at the side of the coffin I started for Hollywood cemetery, a
-distance of five miles.
-
-The enemy were then in sight, and from every elevated point the masses
-of manœuvering soldiers and flash of the enemy’s cannon could be
-distinguished. Only stopping as I passed through the city to buy a
-piece of ground from the old cemetery agent, I reached Hollywood by
-twelve o’clock. Near the burying-ground I met the Rev. Mr. McCabe,
-requested his presence and assistance, and we stood side by side
-while the sexton dug his grave. The rain was pouring in torrents,
-while the clergyman repeated the Episcopal burial service from memory.
-Besides ourselves there but two poor women, of the humblest class
-of life—Catholics, who passing casually, dropped upon their knees,
-undeterred by the rain, and paid their humble tribute of respect to the
-dead.
-
-
- “_We left him alone in his glory._”
-
-He had all the honors of a soldier’s burial paid to him unconsciously,
-for the cannon roared and the musketry rattled, mingling with the
-thunder and lightning of Heaven’s artillery. The sexton held his
-hat over the small piece of paper on which I inscribed his name and
-birthplace (to be put on his headboard) to protect it from the rain,
-and with a saddened heart for the solitary grave we left behind I drove
-back to the city. The reverend gentleman was left at his home, and,
-perhaps, to this day does not know who his companion was during that
-strange hour.
-
-
- _Intense Anxiety._
-
-I found the city in the same state of excitement, for no authentic news
-was to be heard, or received, except perhaps at official quarters; and
-it was well known that we had no troops nearer than Petersburg, save
-the citizens who had enrolled themselves for defense; therefore too
-anxious to return directly to the hospital, I drove to the residence
-of one of the cabinet ministers, where I was engaged to attend a
-dinner, and found the mistress of the establishment, surrounded by
-her servants and trunks preparing for a hasty retreat when necessary.
-Some persuasion induced her to desist, and the situation of the house
-commanding an extensive view of the surrounding country, we watched
-the advance of the enemy from the extreme northeast, for with the
-aid of opera-glasses we could even distinguish the colors of their
-uniforms. Slowly onward moved the bodies of dark blue, emerging from
-and disappearing into the woods, seeming to be skirting around them,
-but not to be diminishing the distance between, although each moment
-becoming more distinct, which proved their advance, while not one
-single Confederate jacket could be observed over the whole sweep of
-ground.
-
-
- _Saved._
-
-Half an anxious hour passed, and then, far away against the distant
-horizon, one single mounted horseman emerged from a thick wood, looked
-cautiously around, passed across the road and disappeared. He was in
-gray, and followed by another and another, winding around and cutting
-off the foe. Then a startling peal at the bell, and a courier brought
-the news that Wade Hampton and his cavalry were close upon the rear
-of the enemy. There was no occasion for fear after this, for General
-Hampton was the Montrose of the Southern army, he who could make any
-cause famous with his pen and glorious with his sword. The dinner
-continued in course of preparation, and was seasoned, when served, by
-spirits brightened by the strong reaction.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Itinerary Labors._
-
-The horrors that attended, in past times, the bombardment of a city,
-were experienced in a great degree in Richmond during the fighting
-around us. The close proximity to the scenes of strife, the din of
-battle, the bursting of shells, the fresh wounds of the men hourly
-brought in were daily occurrences. Walking through the streets during
-this time, after the duties of the hospital were over, when night had
-well advanced, the pavement around the railroad depot would be crowded
-with wounded men just brought in, and laid there waiting for conveyance
-to the receiving hospitals. Some on stretchers, others on the bare
-bricks, or laid on a thin blanket, suffering from wounds hastily
-wrapped around with strips of coarse, unbleached, galling bandages
-of homespun cotton, on which the blood had congealed and stiffened
-until every crease cut like a knife. Women passing accidentally, like
-myself, would put down their basket or bundle, and ringing at the bell
-of neighboring houses, ask for basin and soap, warm water, and a few
-soft rags, and going from sufferer to sufferer, try to alleviate with
-what skill they possessed, the pain of fresh wounds, change the uneasy
-posture, and allay the thirst. Others would pause and look on, till
-the labor appearing to require no particular talent, they too would
-follow the example set them, and occasionally asking a word of advice,
-do their duty carefully and willingly. Idle boys would get a pine
-knot or tallow-dip, and stand quietly and curiously as torch-bearers,
-till the scene, with its gathering accessories formed a strange
-picture, not easily forgotten. Persons driving in different vehicles
-would alight sometimes in evening dress, and choosing the wounded
-most in need of surgical aid, put them in their places, and send them
-to their destination, continuing their way on foot. There was little
-conversation carried on, no necessity for introductions, and no names
-ever asked or given.
-
-
- _A Rose by any other Name._
-
-This indifference to personality was a peculiarity strongly exhibited
-in hospitals, for after nursing a sick or wounded patient for months,
-he has often left without any curiosity exhibited as regarded my name,
-my whereabouts, or indeed any thing connected with me. A case in point
-was related by a friend. When the daughter of our general had devoted
-much time and care to a sick man in one of the hospitals, he seemed to
-feel so little gratitude for the attention paid, that her companion to
-rouse him told him that Miss Lee was his nurse. “Lee, Lee?” he said.
-“There are some Lees down in Mississippi who keep a tavern there. Is
-she one of them Lees?”
-
-
- _Not among the Compliments._
-
-Almost of the same style, although a little worse was the remark of
-one of my sick, a poor fellow who had been wounded in the head and who,
-though sensible enough ordinarily, would feel the effect of the sun on
-his brain when exposed to its influence. After advising him to wear a
-wet paper doubled into the crown of his hat more from a desire to show
-some interest in him than from any belief in its efficacy, I paused at
-the door long enough to hear him ask the ward-master “who that was?”
-“Why, that is the matron of the hospital; she gives you all the food
-you eat, and attends to things.” “Well!” said he, “I always did think
-this government was a confounded sell, and now I am sure of it, when
-they put such a little fool to manage such a big hospital as this.”
-
-The ingenuity of the men was wonderful in making toys and trifles,
-and a great deal of mechanical talent was developed by the enforced
-inaction of hospital life. Every ward had its draught-board and
-draughtsmen cut out of hard wood and stained with vegetable dies,
-and sometimes chessmen would be cut out with a common knife, in such
-ornamentation that they would not have disgraced a drawing-room.
-
-
- _New Uses for the Bible._
-
-One man carved pipes from ivy root, with exquisitely-cut shields on
-the bowls, bearing the arms of the different States and their mottoes.
-He would charge and easily get a hundred and fifty dollars for a
-pipe (Confederate paper was then sixty cents for the dollar), and
-he only used his well-worn pocket-knife. Playing cards—the greatest
-comfort to alleviate the tedium of their sick life—were difficult to
-get a substitute for, so that the original packs had a hard time.
-They became, as may be supposed from the hands which used them, very
-dirty in a short time, and the corners in a particularly disreputable
-condition, but after the diffusion of the Oxford editions of the
-different books of the Bible sent from England as a donation, the
-soldiers took a lesson, and rounded the corners in imitation. A pack of
-cards after four years’ use in a Southern hospital was beyond criticism.
-
-
- _Camp Fashions._
-
-The men had their fashions too, sometimes insisting upon having light
-blue pants drawn for them, and at other seasons preferring gray; but
-while the mania for either color raged, they would be dissatisfied
-with the other. When the quartermaster-general issued canvas shoes
-there was a loud dissatisfaction expressed in constant grumbling, till
-some original genius dyed the whitish tops by the liberal application
-of poke-berries. He was the Brummel of the day, and for many months
-crimson shoes were the rage, and long rows of unshod men would sit
-under the eaves of the wards, all diligently employed in the same labor
-and up to their elbows in red juice.
-
-This fashion died out, and gave place to a button mania. Men who had
-never had a dream or a hope beyond a horn convenience to keep their
-clothing together, saved up their scanty means to replace them with
-gilt, and made neat little wooden shelves with a slit through the
-middle into which the buttons slid, so that they could be cleaned and
-brightened without taking them off, or soiling the jacket. With the
-glitter of buttons came the corresponding taste for gilt bands and
-tinsel around the battered hat, so that while our future was lowering
-darker and darker, our soldiers were amusing themselves like children
-who had no interest in the coming results.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Life was so Sweet._
-
-The duty which of all others pressed most heavily upon me and which
-I never did perform voluntarily was that of telling a man he could
-not live, when he was perhaps unconscious that there was any danger
-apprehended from his wound. The idea of death so seldom occurs when
-disease and suffering have not wasted the frame and destroyed the vital
-energies, that there is but little opening or encouragement to commence
-such a subject unless the patient suspects the result ever so slightly.
-In many cases too, the yearning for life was so strong that to destroy
-the hope was beyond human power. Life was for him a furlough, family
-and friends once more around him; a future was all he wanted, and
-considered it cheaply purchased if only for a month by the endurance of
-any wound, however painful or wearisome.
-
-
- _Difficult Responsibilities._
-
-There were long discussions among those responsible during the war, as
-to the advisability of the frequent amputations on the field, and often
-when a hearty, fine-looking man in the prime of life would be brought
-in minus an arm or leg, I would feel as if it might have been saved,
-but experience taught me the wisdom of prompt measures. Poor food and
-great exposure had thinned the blood and broken down the system so
-entirely that secondary amputations performed in the hospital almost
-invariably resulted in death, after the second year of the war. The
-blood lost on the battlefield when the wound was first received would
-enfeeble the already impaired system and render it incapable of further
-endurance.
-
-
- _Failures._
-
-Once we received a strong, stalwart soldier from Alabama, and after
-five days’ nursing, finding the inflammation from the wound in his
-arm too great to save the limb, the attending surgeon requested me to
-feed him on the best I could command; by that means to try and give
-him strength to undergo amputation. Irritability of stomach as well
-as indifference to food always accompanying gun-shot wounds, it was
-necessary, while the fever continued, to give him as much nourishment
-in as small a compass as possible, as well as easily digestible food,
-that would assimilate with his enfeebled condition. Beef tea he (in
-common with all soldiers and I believe men) would not, or could not
-take, or anything I suggested as an equivalent, so getting his consent
-to drink some “chemical mixture,” I prepared the infusion. Chipping up
-a pound of beef and pouring upon it a half pint of water, the mixture
-was stirred until all the blood was extracted, and only a tea-spoonful
-of white fibre remained; a little salt was added, and favored by the
-darkness of the corner of the ward in which he lay, I induced him to
-swallow it. He drank without suspicion, and fortunately liked it,
-only complaining of its being too sweet; and by the end of ten days
-his pulse was fairly good, and there had been no accession of fever.
-Every precaution was taken, both for his sake and the benefit of the
-experiment, and the arm taken off by the most skillful surgeon we
-had. After the amputation, which he bore bravely, he looked as bright
-and well as before, and so on for five days—then the usual results
-followed. The system proved not strong enough to throw out the “pus”
-or inflammation; and this, mingling with the blood, produced that most
-fatal of all diseases, pyæmia, from which no one ever recovers.
-
-
- _Erin-go-bragh._
-
-He was only one of numerous cases, so that my heart beat twice as
-rapidly as ordinarily whenever there were any arrangements progressing
-for amputation, after any length of time had elapsed since the
-wound, or any effort made to save the limb. The only cases under my
-observation that survived were two Irishmen, and it was really so
-difficult to kill an Irishman that there was little cause for boasting
-on the part of the officiating surgeons. One of them had his leg cut
-off in pieces, amputation having been performed three times, and the
-last heard from him was that he had married a young wife and settled
-on a profitable farm she owned in Macon, Georgia. He had touched
-the boundary lines of the “unknown land,” had been given up by the
-surgeons, who left me with orders to stimulate him if possible. The
-priest (for he was a Catholic) was naturally averse to my disturbing
-what he considered the last moments of a dying man who had made his
-confession and taken his farewell of this world, and which ought to
-have been devoted to less worldly temptations than mint juleps; and a
-rather brisk encounter was the result of a difference of opinion on
-the subject; for if he was responsible for the soul, so was I for the
-body, and I held my ground firmly.
-
-
- _Whiskey_ versus _Religion._
-
-It was hard for an Irishman and a good Catholic to have to choose
-at this supreme moment between religion and whiskey; but though
-his head was turned respectfully towards good Father T—— his eyes
-rested too lovingly on the goblet offered to his lips to allow me to
-make any mistake as to the results of his ultimate intentions. The
-interpretation put by me on that look was that Callahan thought that
-as long as first proof brandy and mint lasted in the Confederacy this
-world was good enough for him, and the result proved that I was not
-mistaken. He always gave me the credit I have awarded to the juleps,
-and until the evacuation of Richmond kept me informed of his domestic
-happiness.
-
- ————
-
-
- _My Furlough._
-
-Though my health up to this time had withstood the bad effects of
-exposure and exertion, the strain had become too great, and the
-constantly recurring agitation which had been excited each day on
-receiving the returned prisoners, had broken me down completely. A
-visit to the surgeon-general with a request for a month’s leave of
-absence, met with a ready acquiescence. The old gentleman was very
-urbane, even making one or two grim jokes, and handed me not only
-permission to leave, but the necessary transportation. Very necessary
-in this case, as traveling expenses were enormously high, and the
-government had seized for the whole month of October the railroads for
-military use, putting a complete stop to private travel.
-
-It had been like tearing body and soul apart, when necessity compelled
-me to leave my hospital, from which I had never been separated but
-one day in nearly four years; and when all arrangements for departure
-had been completed, Miss G. urged, entreated and commanded to keep a
-sharp look-out upon the whiskey, and be alike impenetrable to feints,
-stratagems and entreaties, my heart began to sink. A visit to the wards
-did not tend to strengthen my wavering resolves. The first invalid
-to whom I communicated the news of my intended departure burst into
-a passion of tears, and improved my frame of mind by requesting me
-to kill him at once, for he would certainly die if left. Standing by
-his bedside, unsettled and irresolute, all the details of my daily
-life rose before me. The early and comforting visit to the sick after
-their feverish, restless night; when even if there were no good to be
-effected, they would feel the kindness, and every man’s head would be
-thrust out of the bed-clothes as by one impulse, and jealousy evinced
-when a longer pause by one bedside than another would arouse the
-feeling. Often has the ward-master recalled me when at, the distance
-of a quarter of a mile from his ward, at the request of a patient, and
-when going back to find out what was wanted, a hearty convalescent
-would explain that I had passed through and omitted to speak to him.
-
-
- _Off._
-
-Farewells were exchanged at last, and the 6th October, 1864, found me
-at the Fredericksburg station, _en route_ for Georgia. A search at the
-last moment before stepping into the cars, discovered that my keys,
-together with my watch, had been left at the hospital, while, as an
-equivalent, there remained at the bottom of my basket half a salt
-mackerel (a rare luxury in the Confederacy), begged for a sick man who
-fancied it, a day before, and forgotten in the hurry of packing. I was
-compelled to defer my start until the 7th.
-
-There are some schoolday recollections hanging around the softening by
-Hannibal of a rugged journey by the plentiful application of vinegar;
-but what acid could soften the rigors of that trip to Georgia? They
-can hardly be recounted in any degree of limited space. With the aid
-of two gentlemen, and indeed every disengaged man on the road, a safe
-termination was effected after many days, and a delicious holiday
-passed in idleness and _Confederate_ luxury, free from the wear and
-tear of constantly excited feelings. Then came the stern reflection
-that I had no right to exceed the furlough of thirty days accorded by
-Dr. Moore. A search was immediately made for an escort, which having
-failed, general advice was unanimously given to “go alone,” on the
-grounds that women had become entirely independent at this time, and
-“no man knowing the object of your journey could fail to give you all
-the assistance you would need.”
-
-
- _A Hard Road to Travel._
-
-Fired with this Quixotic sentiment, an early start was made. Finding
-almost immediately that I had not received checks for my trunks, I
-ventured, while the afflatus lasted, to touch a man who sat in front of
-me on the arm, and request him to call the conductor. “I am sorry to
-say that I am not acquainted with him,” was the answer; and down I went
-to zero, never rising again till my journey was accomplished.
-
-Perhaps the details of my trials may give my readers some idea of the
-state of the country at that time. At West Point, which took an hour
-and a half’s travel to reach from Legrange, we had to sleep all night,
-there being no connection for twelve hours. There were no bed-rooms,
-and no candles to be had, and the female travelers sat in the little
-bar of the tavern (the leading hotel being closed) brightened by a
-pine knot, with their feet on the sanded floor, and ate what they had
-provided themselves with from their baskets.
-
-
- _Services not Required._
-
-Another two hours’ travel on to Opelika the next day, and another
-detention for half-a-dozen hours. At Columbus, a rumor that the
-cars had been seized for government transportation made me anxious
-concerning the nature of my ticket, which I found to my dismay was
-not suited to meet the emergency through some inadvertence; so long
-before starting-time I was waiting at the depot seated on my trunk,
-half amused and half mortified at the resemblance thus offered to an
-emigrant Irish servant woman. The place was crowded with invalided
-soldiers, for the government was moving the hospitals to the lower
-part of the State, and idle spectators seeing my evident alarm offered
-all kinds of irrational advice. A suggestion was sensibly made by
-some one that by seeking one of the most helpless of the wounded and
-requesting him to allow me to pass as his nurse my object might be
-effected; but every man to whom I opened my proposals seemed alarmed
-at and opposed to this idea. Towards the last the confusion became
-distracting—everybody calling for the conductor, who possessing no
-power, the cars being under military control, first denied his identity
-and then hid himself.
-
-
- _Friend to the “Faymales.”_
-
-Help came at the last moment in the form of a red-faced, half-tipsy
-Irish porter who had been cheering me on with winks of encouragement at
-my frantic efforts for some time. “Lit me put yer trunks on,” he said,
-and “thin go to Col. Frankland at the rare of the cars—sure he’s the
-man to help the faymales.”
-
-My forlorn hope, Col. Frankland, was standing on the platform at the
-extreme rear of the cars, surrounded by a semi-circle below, about
-twenty-five feet deep, all pressing on to get to seats already too
-full. He was gesticulating and shouting like a madman. The lame, the
-halt, and the blind stood around. Crutches, splints, and huge sticks
-represented a small wood. Green blinds over eyes, raw faces peeled
-from erysipelas, and still showing variegated hues of iodine, gave
-picturesqueness to the scene. Had he borne Cæsar and his fortunes he
-could not have been more interested. For two hours he had been stemming
-this living tide.
-
-
- _A Bold Attempt._
-
-I had met and fraternized with a lady and gentleman, old acquaintances,
-encountered at the depot, who appeared as anxious to get Northward
-as myself; so telling her not to move until I had either achieved my
-object or failed, and if I made her a sign to join me, I took my
-position at the fag end of the crowd below the colonel, and undeterred
-by distance and uproar I essayed a faint call for notice. The sound
-died away in my throat, but my Irish friend (I am sure he took me for
-one of his cousins from the “ould counthrie”), was by my side in an
-instant and repeated the call. A hundred voices took up the refrain, “A
-lady wants to speak to the colonel,” and universal curiosity regarding
-the _private_ nature of my business being exhibited by a profound
-silence I raised my voice as Mause Headrigg said, “like a pelican in
-the wilderness:”
-
-“Col. Frankland, I must get forward on this train to-night. Government
-business requires me to be in Richmond by the 1st November.”
-
-“Can’t do it, Madam. Would like to oblige you, but can’t go against my
-orders. The cars are for the use of sick and wounded soldiers alone.”
-
-
- _None but the fair deserve the brave._
-
-“But Col. Frankland, hundreds of invalids are waiting for their
-breakfast, dinner and supper in Richmond. I am the matron of ——
-hospital.”
-
-“Can’t help it, Madam! If you men there don’t keep away from this
-platform and leave a passage way, I’ll put the front rank under arrest!”
-
-“Oh! Col. Frankland, cannot I stand on the platform, if I am not
-allowed to use the cars?”
-
-“No, Madam, it would be dangerous. Sorry to refuse.”
-
-“Let me go in the freight train.”
-
-“There is no freight train.”
-
-“Well, the box cars? I take very little room.”
-
-“They are crowded, Madam, crowded. Keep off, men, keep off there!”
-
-The steam blew and whistled fearfully and the bell clanged an uproar
-of sound. A passing car came rushing by and my courage was oozing
-fast. “Try him agin!” said my Irish friend, who unable to get near me,
-shouted his secret.
-
-
- _Importance of Hair-Pins._
-
-“Oh! Col. Frankland, excuse my pertinacity, but what _can_ I do? Let
-me go on in the mail car! I will not even open my eyes to look at the
-outside of the letters.”
-
-“Against the law. Cannot be done. How can I infringe upon my orders?
-Will no one keep those confounded men off?”
-
-“_I will_, Col. Frankland, if you will let me get up by your side. I
-will keep every single man away. Now men, keep off, I beg of you, for I
-must get to Richmond, and moreover, I wear very long hair-pins.”
-
-“Thank you, Madam, thank you. Now men, you hear what this lady says,
-and I know she will be as good as her word.” A hundred hands helped
-me up. I looked for my friend the red-nosed Irishman, but he was
-gone. Another moment and my friend stood by my side, assisted by the
-Irishman, who tipped me a comprehensive wink which set my mind at rest
-as regarded the safety of my trunk.
-
-“This is not fair,” said the Colonel. “You promised that no one should
-get on.”
-
-“Oh, no, I promised that not a _single man_ should do so. This is a
-woman. Will you let her husband join her? He is not a _single_ man, for
-he has a wife and nine children!”
-
-The result may be imagined. Our party, very much relieved, were soon
-inside, where we found four comfortable seats reserved for Gen.
-Beauregard and staff, which were unoccupied from those gentlemen being
-detained at Macon.
-
-
- _Another Attempt._
-
-At that city, where we were compelled to pass the night, the same state
-of things existed, and with depressed spirits I drove to the cars to
-see if any arrangement could be effected by which I could pursue my
-journey. The road would not be opened to the traveling public for
-a month, so an effort had to be made. An appeal to the authorities
-resulted as I expected, in defeat, so I again tried my manœuver of
-trying to interest subordinates.
-
-Failing, however, and baffled at every turn, while sitting again upon
-my trunk, the mail agent, standing in the doorway of his car, caught
-my eye. Improving the opportunity, I commenced a conversation, ending
-in an insinuating appeal to be taken into the mail box. Success and
-installation in his little square domicil followed, and my friend,
-passing out without any explanation, locked the door on the outside.
-There were no windows and no light whatever; the hour six in the
-evening.
-
-
- _Frightened at Last._
-
-Seated in loneliness and darkness till the town clock struck eight,
-every fear that could arise in the brain of a silly woman assailed
-me. Did the train I was in go to Augusta, and if not, would I be left
-where I was all night? Was the man who locked me up the mail agent?
-If he came back and robbed and murdered me, would any one ever miss
-me? Having had nothing to eat but a couple of biscuits in twenty-four
-hours, and my brain being, in consequence, proportionately light,
-imagination seized the reins from common sense, which fled in the
-presence of utter darkness and loneliness.
-
-At last the key turned in the lock, and the light of a lantern
-dispelled some of my terrors. The cars started and the agent commenced
-sorting his letters, first bolting us in securely. A couple of hours
-passed and my mind was gradually losing its tone of unpleasant doubt
-as to the wisdom of my proceedings, when my busy companion knocked off
-work and essayed to play the agreeable. He was communicative in the
-extreme, giving me his biography, which proved him to be a Connecticut
-man, and very much dissatisfied with the Confederacy, particularly
-with the state of the money market. So long as he kept to his
-personal recollections all was right, but he soon claimed a return of
-confidence, and grew hourly more patronizing and conversational. His
-tone and manner, the loneliness of the position, and the impossibility
-of any fortunate interruption occurring becoming unbearable at last,
-there is no knowing what I might have ventured to do, in the way of
-breaking out, if the cars had not fortunately run off the track.
-
-
- _All’s well that ends well._
-
-On we bumped, happily on level ground, for two minutes or more; the
-engineer entirely unconscious of the fact and no way of communicating
-with him, as the soldiers were lying over the rope on the top of
-the cars, so that pulling was in vain. At last a pause, and then a
-crowd, and then a familiar name was called, most welcome to my ears.
-I repeated it aloud until the owner was by my side, and the rest of
-the night was spent in asking questions and receiving information. At
-daylight he left me to rejoin his command, while we continued on to
-Augusta.
-
-As usual, when we arrived there no vehicle of any kind met us at the
-depot, but being the only woman in the cars, the mail driver offered
-me a seat upon the mail-bags, and as it was raining I accepted, and in
-this august style reached the hotel by breakfast time. All military
-suspension ceased here, but there was detention for two hours, and this
-was enlivened by an amusing episode at the depot.
-
-
- _Up-country Georgia Eloquence._
-
-Directly in front of me sat an old Georgia up-country woman, placidly
-regarding the box cars full of men on the parallel rails, waiting like
-ourselves to start. She knitted and gazed, and at last inquired “who
-was them ar soldiers, and whar was they a-going to?” The information
-that they were Yankee prisoners startled her considerably. The knitting
-ceased abruptly (all the old women in the Southern States knitted socks
-for the soldiers while traveling), and the Cracker bonnet of dark brown
-homespun was thrown back violently, for her whole nervous system seemed
-to have received a galvanic shock. Then she caught her breath with a
-long gasp, lifted on high her thin, trembling hand, accompanied by the
-trembling voice, and made them a speech:
-
-“Ain’t you ashamed of you-uns,” she piped, “a-coming down here
-a-spiling our country, and a-robbing our hen-roosts? What did we ever
-do to you-uns that you should come a-killing our brothers and sons?
-Ain’t you ashamed of you-uns? What for do you want us to live with
-you-uns, you poor white trash? I ain’t got a single nigger that would
-be so mean as to force himself where he warn’t wanted, and what do
-we-uns want with you? Ain’t you——” but here came a roar of laughter
-from both cars, and shaking with excitement the old lady pulled down
-her spectacles, which in the excitement she had pushed up on her
-forehead, and tried in vain to resume her labors with uncertain fingers.
-
-
- _General Desolation._
-
-From here to Richmond there occurred the usual detentions and trials
-of railroad travel under the existing circumstances. The windows of
-the cars were broken out in many places. Sometimes no fire for want of
-stoves, and the nights damp and chilly. All in utter darkness, for the
-lamps were gone, and could they have been replaced, there would have
-been no oil.
-
-
- _A Woman has an Opinion._
-
-We crawled along, stopping every hour almost, to tinker up some
-part of the car or the road, getting out at times when the conductor
-announced that the travelers must walk “a spell or two,” meaning from
-one to five miles. Crowds of women were getting in and out all the way,
-the male passengers grumbling aloud that “women had better stay at
-home, they had no business to be running around in such times.” This
-was said so often that it became very unpleasant, till the tables were
-turned early one morning at Gainsborough, when a large-sized female
-made her way along the center of the car, looking from right to left in
-the vain search for a seat. None being vacant, she stopped short, and
-addressed the astonished male passengers with more vigor than elegance:
-“What for pity sake do you men mean by running all around the country
-for, instead of staying in the field, as you ought to do? You keep
-filling up the cars so that a woman can’t attend to her business. Your
-place should be opposite the enemy.” This diversion on our behalf was
-received silently, but many seats were soon vacated by their occupants
-on the plea of “taking a little smoke.”
-
-
- _Beaten at Last._
-
-At last, the 1st of November found me weary, hungry, cold and exhausted
-by travel at the Richmond depot, four hours after schedule time; with
-that most terrible scourge, a bad, nervous headache racking me all
-over. The crowd around was immense, so that by the time it opened and
-dispersed sufficiently to let me make my way through, every vehicle had
-left, if there had ever been any there before. As usual, my telegram
-had not been received, so there was no one to meet me, and pain
-rendering me indifferent to appearances I quietly spread my shawl upon
-a bench and myself upon it. For how long I cannot say, but I was roused
-by a voice asking what I wanted, and what was the matter? “Any kind
-of a vehicle to take me home,” was the answer. After a few moments’
-delay my new friend returned with the information that there was only
-a market cart, which if I was willing to ride in, was for hire. If it
-had been a hearse it would have been hailed with welcome. My two trunks
-were put on, and I was deposited on them. The hour, eleven at night.
-
-
- _One of our Future Presidents._
-
-I looked first at the horse. He had a shadowy gray skin stretched
-over his prominent bones, and in the dim, misty light, seemed a mere
-phantom. The driver next came under observation. A little dried-up,
-gray black, old darkey, with a brown rag tied around his head, but like
-all his species he was kindly disposed and respectful. Directions were
-given him to drive to a friend’s house. He said that his horse was too
-tired, but if I were willing, he had another “at his place,” where he
-would drive me and change.
-
-Quite willing, or rather too weary to assert any authority, so on
-we rumbled and rattled almost twice the distance I was first bound,
-changed one skeleton for another, and started again for my friend’s
-house. At last the blessed haven was reached, but the sight of a new
-face to my summons at the door made my heart sink. She had “moved
-yesterday.”
-
-“Drive to Miss G.’s house,” was my next direction, intending to throw
-myself upon her hospitality and charity for the night, for we were out
-of the way of all hotels.
-
-The same result on application. Had all Richmond moved? The fresh air,
-and the necessity for exertion in this novel position had routed my
-headache, and now gave me courage to make a proposition I hadn’t dared
-to make before.
-
-
- _Compromises._
-
-“Could not you drive me to the hospital on the hill?” was my demand
-made in most ingratiating tones.
-
-The old man untied the rag from off his head, and smoothed it on his
-knee by way of ironing out the creases and assisting reflection;
-replaced it, taking up the reins again before he answered, for we were
-now at a stand-still at the Broad street hill.
-
-“Missis,” said he solemnly, “de way it is long, and de bridges dey is
-rotten; but ef you is not afeared to dribe ober dem by you-self, and
-let me git out, and pay me ten dollars, de ole hoss might be consarned
-to go up dis yere hill.”
-
-The bargain was struck, and the hospital reached after midnight. The
-key of my apartments sent for, when the duplicate hair that at last
-broke the camel’s back was laid upon mine.
-
-“Miss G. had taken it with her.”
-
-“Bring a carpenter,” I cried desperately; “and tell him to get a
-sledge-hammer and knock down, or in, anything that will let me get into
-the place. I _must_ have rest.”
-
-The door was broken open; a fire was kindled; a delicious piece of
-cold hard corn-bread found and devoured, and when the warm covering of
-the first bed I had slept in for ten days was drawn around me, all the
-troubles of a hard world melted away, and the only real happiness on
-earth, entire exemption from mental and bodily pain, took possession of
-me.
-
- ————
-
-
- _And Comparisons._
-
-I noticed on my return a great difference in the means of living
-between Virginia and the Gulf States. Even in the most wealthy and
-luxurious houses in Richmond, former everyday comforts had about this
-time become luxuries, and had been dispensed with earlier in the war.
-
-Farther south, they still received from Nassau what they needed, always
-running the risks of losing the cargoes of the blockade-runners,
-therefore duplicating orders. Tea and coffee were first given up at
-the capital, then many used corn flour,—wheat was so high. Gradually
-butter disappeared from the breakfast table, and brown sugar when
-it reached twenty dollars a pound shared the same fate. But no such
-economy appeared necessary where I had been. The air of the people in
-the cars and around the railroad stations was hopeful in the extreme.
-There was no doubt expressed even at this late day, the November of
-1864, as to the ultimate success of the Southern cause.
-
-Their hospitals though did not compare with those I had left in
-Virginia, either in arrangement, cleanliness or attendance. Even as
-early as 1862 the matrons’ places there had been filled by ladies of
-education and refinement; but this with a few exceptions had been the
-rule in Virginia only, and such supervision made a marked difference,
-as may be supposed.
-
-
- _Entire Resumption._
-
-During my absence, the greater portion of the patients I had left a
-month previously had either recovered and left, or died, so that it
-was awkward to resume my duties among strangers. A few days’ visiting
-rectified this however. The happiest welcome I got was from Miss G.,
-who resigned the key of the liquor closet with a sigh which spoke
-volumes. From what could be gathered, she had been equal to the
-occasion, and knowing the hardships of her dragonship I did not press
-her strenuously upon points connected with it.
-
-
- _Christmas Festivities._
-
-The health of the army was now so good, that except when the wounded
-were sent in, we were comparatively idle. That terrible scourge,
-pneumonia, so prevalent early in the war, and so fatal in its typhoid
-form, had almost disappeared. The men had become accustomed and inured
-to exposure. Christmas passed pleasantly. The hospital fund (from the
-great depreciation of the money) being too small to allow us to make
-much festive preparation, the ladies of the city drove out in carriages
-and ambulances laden with good things. The previous years we had been
-enabled to give out of the expenditure of our own funds a bowl of
-egg-nogg and a slice of cake, for lunch, to every man in the hospital,
-as well as his portion of turkey and oysters for dinner; but times were
-more stringent now.
-
-
- _Discussions regarding the Hero._
-
-Soon after New Year, 1865, some members of the committee on hospital
-affairs called to see me, desirous of getting some information
-regarding the use or abuse of liquor, before the bill for the
-appropriations for the coming year would be introduced. There were
-doubts afloat as to whether the benefit conferred upon the patients by
-the use of stimulants counterbalanced the evil effects they produced
-on the surgeons, who were in the habit of making use of them when they
-could get them.
-
-The problem was difficult to solve. A case in point had lately come
-under my observation. A man had been brought into our hospital with a
-crushed ankle, the cars having run over it. He had been attended to,
-and the leg put in splints before we had received him, so as he was
-still heavy and drowsy, possibly from some anodyne administered, the
-surgeon in attendance ordered him to be left undisturbed. The nurse in
-a few hours came to me to say that the man was suffering intensely.
-He had a burning fever, and complained of the fellow leg instead of
-the injured one. The natural idea of sympathy occurred, and a sedative
-given which failed in producing any effect. I determined to look at it
-in spite of orders, his sufferings appearing so great, and finding the
-foot and leg above and below the splint perfectly well, the thought
-of examining the fellow leg suggested itself. It was a most shocking
-sight—swollen, inflamed and purple—the drunken surgeon had set the
-wrong leg! The pain induced low fever, which eventually assumed a
-typhoid form, and the man died. With this instance fresh in my memory
-I hesitated to give any opinion in favor, and yet felt we could not
-manage without the liquor. However, the appropriation was made.
-
-
- _Scribbled Eggs and Flitters._
-
-This poor fellow was the most dependent patient I ever had, and though
-entirely uneducated, won his way to my sympathies by his entire
-helplessness and belief in the efficacy of my care and advice. No
-surgeon in the hospital could persuade him to swallow anything in the
-shape of food unless I sanctioned the order, and a few kindly words, or
-an encouraging nod would satisfy and please him. His ideas of luxuries
-were curious, and his answer to my daily inquiries of what he could
-fancy for food, was invariably the same—he would like some “scribbled
-eggs and flitters.” This order was complied with three times daily,
-until the doctor prescribed stronger food and though many dainties
-were substituted, he still called them by the same name, leading me to
-suppose that “scribbled eggs and flitters” was his generic term for
-food.
-
-
- _Un-chew-able Food._
-
-I made him some jelly—Confederate jelly—with the substitution of
-whiskey for Madeira wine, and citric acid for lemons, but he said “he
-did not like it, there was no chewing on it,” and “it all went, he did
-not know where!” so I gave up trying to tempt his palate.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Culinary Mortifications._
-
-When whole wards would be emptied of their occupants, in compliance
-with changes made to suit certain views of the surgical department, and
-strangers put in, I would always feel a great repugnance to visiting
-them. But when the change became gradual, by the convalescents, in
-twos or threes or half-dozens, being exchanged for invalids, there
-would always be enough men left to whom I was known, to make me feel
-at home, and to inform the newcomers why I came among them, and what
-my duties were. I now found my hospital filled with strangers. They
-were not so considerate as my old friends had been, and looked rather
-with suspicion upon my daily visits. One man amused me particularly by
-keeping a portion of his food every day for my special and agreeable
-inspection, as he thought, and my particular annoyance, as I felt. A
-specimen of everything he thought unpalatable was deposited under his
-pillow, to await my arrival, and the greeting invariably given me was:
-
-“Do you call that good bread?”
-
-“Well no, not very good: but the flour is very dark and musty.”
-
-Another day he would draw out a handfull of dry rice.
-
-“Do you call _that_ properly boiled?”
-
-“That is the way we boil rice in Carolina. Each grain must be
-separated.”
-
-“Well! I won’t eat mine boiled that way.”
-
-
- _Pickles_ versus _Homespun._
-
-And so on through all the details of his food. Somebody he felt
-was responsible, and unfortunately he determined that I should be
-the scapegoat. His companion who laid by his side was even more
-disagreeable than he was. Being a terrible pickle consumer, he indulged
-in such extreme dissipation in that luxury that a check had to be
-put upon his appetite. He attacked me upon this grievance the first
-chance he found, and listened scornfully to my remarks that pickles
-were luxuries to be eaten sparingly and used carefully. “Perhaps,”
-he said at last, “we would have more pickles if you had fewer new
-dresses.” There was no doubt that I wore a new homespun dress, but what
-connection it had with the pickles was rather mysterious. However, that
-afternoon came a formal apology, written in quite an elegant style, and
-signed by every man in the ward, except the pickle man, in which the
-fault of this cruel speech was laid upon the bad whiskey.
-
- ————
-
-
- _Beginning of the End._
-
-All this winter of ’64, the city had been unusually gay. Besides
-parties, private theatricals and tableaux were constantly exhibited.
-Wise and thoughtful men disapproved openly of this mad gayety. There
-was certainly a painful discrepancy between the excitement of dancing
-and the rumble of ambulances that could be heard in the momentary lull
-of the music, carrying the wounded to the different hospitals. Young
-men advocated this state of affairs, arguing that after the fatigues
-and dangers of a campaign in the field, some relaxation was necessary
-on their visits to the capital.
-
-To thinking people this recklessness was ominous; and by the end of
-February, 1865, it began to be felt by them that all was not as safe
-as it was supposed to be. The incessant moving of troops through the
-city from one point to another proved weakness, and the scarcity of
-rations issued told a painful tale. People rated the inefficiency
-of the commissary department, and predicted that a change in its
-administration would make all right. Soon afterwards the truth was told
-me in confidence and under promise of strict secresy. Richmond would
-be evacuated in a month or six weeks. The time might be lengthened or
-shortened, but the fact was established.
-
-
- _Agitations._
-
-Then came the packing up, quietly but surely, of the different
-departments. Requisitions on the medical purveyor were returned
-unfilled, and an order from the surgeon-general required that herbs
-instead of licensed medicines should be used in the hospitals. There
-was a great deal of merriment elicited from the “yarb teas,” drawn
-during this time by the surgeons; few knowing the sad cause of their
-substitution. My mind had been very unsettled as to my course of action
-in view of the impending crash, but my duty prompted me to remain with
-my sick, on the ground that no general ever deserts his troops. But
-to be left by all my friends to meet the dangers and privations of an
-invested city, among antagonistic influences, with the prospect of
-being turned out of my office the next day after the surrender, was not
-a cheering one. Even my home would no longer be open to me; for staying
-with a cabinet minister, he would leave with the government. I was
-spared the necessity of decision by the sudden attack of General Grant,
-and the breaking of the Confederate lines, and before there was time to
-think at all, the government and all its train had vanished.
-
- ————
-
-
- _History._
-
-On the 2nd of April, 1865, while the congregation of Dr. Minnegarode’s
-church in Richmond were listening to his Sunday sermon, a messenger
-entered and handed a telegram to Mr. Davis, then president of the
-Confederate States, who rose immediately, and without any visible signs
-of agitation or surprise, left the church. No alarm was exhibited
-by the congregation, though several members of the president’s
-staff followed him, till Dr. Minnegarode brought the service to an
-abrupt close, and informed his started flock that the city would be
-evacuated shortly, and they would only exercise a proper degree of
-prudence by going home immediately, and preparing for the event. This
-announcement, although coming from such a reliable source, hardly
-availed to convince the Virginians that their beloved capital, assailed
-so often, defended so bravely, surrounded by fortifications on which
-the engineering talents of their best officers had been expended, was
-to be capitulated. Some months before, a small number admitted behind
-the vail of the temple had been apprised that the sacrifice was to be
-accomplished; that General Lee had again and again urged Mr. Davis to
-yield this Mecca of his heart to the interests of the Confederacy, and
-resign a city which required an army to hold it, and pickets to be
-posted from thirty to forty miles around it, weakening his depleted
-army; and again and again had the iron will triumphed, and the foe,
-beaten and discomfited, retired for fresh combinations and fresh troops.
-
-But the hour had come, and the evacuation was only a question of time.
-Day and night had the whistle of cars proved to the anxious people that
-brigades were being moved to strengthen this point or defend that;
-and no one was able to say exactly where any portion of the army of
-Virginia was stationed. That Grant would make an effort to strike the
-South-side railroad—the main artery for the conveyance of food to the
-city—every one _knew_; and that General Lee would be able to meet the
-effort and check it, everybody _hoped_, and while this hope lasted
-there was no panic.
-
-The telegram which reached Mr. Davis that Sunday morning, was to the
-effect that the enemy _had_ struck, and on the weakest point of the
-Confederate lines. It told him to be prepared in event of the repulse
-failing. Two hours after came the fatal news that Grant had forced
-his way through, and that the city must instantly be evacuated. What
-is meant by that simple sentence “evacuation of the city” but few can
-imagine who have not experienced it. The officials of the various
-departments hurried to their offices, speedily packing up everything
-connected with the government. The quartermaster’s and commissary’s
-stores were thrown open and thousands of the half-starved and half-clad
-people of Richmond rushed to the scene.
-
-
- _Picture of the Times._
-
-Delicate women tottered under the weight of hams, bags of coffee, flour
-and sugar. Invalided officers carried away articles of unaccustomed
-luxury for sick wives and children at home. Every vehicle was in
-requisition, commanding fabulous remuneration, and gold or silver the
-only currency accepted. The immense concourse of government employes,
-speculators, gamblers, strangers, pleasure and profit lovers of all
-kinds that had been attached to that great center, the Capital, were
-“packing,” while those who had determined to stay and await the chances
-of war, tried to look calmly on, and draw courage from their faith in
-the justness of their cause.
-
-
- _The Departure._
-
-The wives and families of Mr. Davis and his cabinet had been sent
-away some weeks previously, so that no provision had been made for the
-transportation of any particular class of people. All the cars that
-could be collected were at the Fredericksburg depot, and by 3 o’clock
-P. M. the trains commenced to move. The scene at the station was of
-indescribable confusion. No one could afford to abandon any article of
-wear or household use, when going where they knew that nothing could
-be replaced. Baggage was as valuable as life, and life was represented
-there by wounded and sick officers and men, helpless women and
-children, for all who could be with the army were at their post.
-
-Hour after hour fled and still the work went on. The streets were
-strewn with torn papers, records and documents too burdensome to
-carry away, too important to be left for inspection, and people still
-thronged the thoroughfares, loaded with stores until then hoarded by
-the government and sutler shops.
-
-The scream and rumble of the cars never ceased all that weary night,
-and was perhaps the most painful sound to those left behind, for all
-the rest of the city seemed flying; but while the center of Richmond
-was in the wildest confusion, so sudden had been the shock that the
-suburbs were quiet and even ignorant of the scenes enacting in the
-heart of the city. Events crowded so rapidly upon each other that no
-one had time to spread reports.
-
-
- _Burning of the City._
-
-There was no change in the appearance of the surroundings till near
-midnight, when the school-ship, the _Patrick Henry_, formerly the old
-United States ship _Yorktown_, was fired at the wharf at Rocketts
-(the extreme eastern end of the city). The blowing up of her magazine
-seemed the signal for the work of destruction to commence. Explosions
-followed from all points. The warehouses and tobacco manufactories
-were fired, communicating the flames to the adjacent houses and shops,
-and soon Main street was in a blaze. The armory, not intended to be
-burnt, either caught accidentally or was fired by mistake; the shells
-exploding and filling the air with hissing sounds of horror, menacing
-the people in every direction. Colonel Gorgas had endeavored to spike
-or destroy them by rolling them into the canal, and but for this
-precaution with the largest, the city would have been almost leveled
-to the dust.
-
-
- _Last Scenes._
-
-No one slept during that night of horror, for added to the present
-scenes were the anticipations of what the morrow would bring forth.
-Daylight dawned upon a wreck of destruction and desolation. From the
-highest point of Church hill and Libby hill, the eye could range over
-the whole extent of city and country—the fire had not abated, and
-the burning bridges were adding their flame and smoke to the scene.
-A single faint explosion could be heard from the distance at long
-intervals, but the _Patrick Henry_ was low to the water’s edge and
-Drewry but a column of smoke. The whistle of the cars and the rushing
-of the laden trains still continued—they had never ceased—and the
-clouds hung low and draped the scene as morning advanced.
-
-
- _Taking Possession._
-
-Before the sun had risen, two carriages rolled along Main street, and
-passed through Rocketts just under Chimborazo hospital, carrying the
-mayor and corporation towards the Federal lines, to deliver the keys
-of the city, and half an hour afterwards, over to the east, a single
-Federal blue-jacket rose above the hill, standing transfixed with
-astonishment at what he saw. Another and another sprang up as if out
-of the earth, but still all remained quiet. About seven o’clock, there
-fell upon the ear the steady clatter of horses’ hoofs, and winding
-around Rocketts, close under Chimborazo hill, came a small and compact
-body of Federal cavalrymen, on horses in splendid condition, riding
-closely and steadily along. They were well mounted, well accoutered,
-well fed—a rare sight in Southern streets,—the advance of that vaunted
-army that for four years had so hopelessly knocked at the gates of the
-Southern Confederacy.
-
-
- _Entrance of the Federal Army_
-
-They were some distance in advance of the infantry who followed, quite
-as well appointed and accoutered as the cavalry. Company after company,
-regiment after regiment, battalion after battalion, and brigade after
-brigade, they poured into the doomed city—an endless stream. One
-detachment separated from the main body and marching to Battery No. 2,
-raised the United States flag, their band playing the Star Spangled
-Banner. There they stacked their arms. The rest marched along Main
-street through fire and smoke, over burning fragments of buildings,
-emerging at times like a phantom army when the wind lifted the dark
-clouds; while the colored population shouted and cheered them on their
-way.
-
-Before three hours had elapsed, the troops had been quartered and were
-inspecting the city. They swarmed in every highway and byway, rose out
-of gullies, appeared on the top of hills, emerged from narrow lanes,
-and skirted around low fences. There was hardly a spot in Richmond not
-occupied by a blue coat, but they were orderly, quiet and respectful.
-Thoroughly disciplined, warned not to give offense by look or act, they
-did not speak to any one unless first addressed; and though the women
-of the South contrasted with sickness of heart the difference between
-this splendidly-equipped army, and the war-worn, wasted aspect of their
-own defenders, they were grateful for the consideration shown them; and
-if they remained in their sad homes, with closed doors and windows,
-or walked the streets with averted eyes and vailed faces, it was that
-they could not bear the presence of invaders, even under the most
-favorable circumstances.
-
-
- _Occupation of the City._
-
-Before the day was over, the public buildings were occupied by the
-enemy, and the minds of the citizens relieved from all fear of
-molestation. The hospitals were attended to, the ladies being still
-allowed to nurse and care for their own wounded; but rations could
-not be drawn yet, the obstructions in the James river preventing the
-transports from coming up to the city. In a few days they arrived, and
-food was issued to those in need. It had been a matter of pride among
-the Southerners to boast that they had never seen a greenback, so the
-entrance of the Federal army had thus found them entirely unprepared
-with gold and silver currency. People who had boxes of Confederate
-money and were wealthy the day previously, looked around in vain for
-wherewithal to buy a loaf of bread. Strange exchanges were made on the
-street of tea and coffee, flour and bacon. Those who were fortunate in
-having a stock of household necessaries were generous in the extreme to
-their less wealthy neighbors, but the destitution was terrible.
-
-The sanitary commission shops were opened, and commissioners appointed
-by the Federals to visit among the people and distribute orders to draw
-rations, but to effect this, after receiving tickets, required so many
-appeals to different officials, that decent people gave up the effort.
-Besides, the musty corn-meal and strong cod-fish were not appreciated
-by fastidious stomachs—few gently nurtured could relish such unfamiliar
-food.
-
-
- _Amusements Furnished._
-
-But there was no assimilation between the invaders and invaded. In
-the daily newspaper a notice had appeared that the military bands
-would play in the beautiful capital grounds every afternoon, but when
-the appointed hour arrived, except the Federal officers, musicians
-and soldiers, not a white face was to be seen. The negroes crowded
-every bench and path. The next week another notice was issued that
-the colored population would not be admitted; and then the absence
-of everything and anything feminine was appalling. The entertainers
-went alone to their own entertainment. The third week still another
-notice appeared: “colored nurses were to be admitted with their white
-charges,” and lo! each fortunate white baby received the cherished care
-of a dozen finely-dressed black ladies, the only drawback being that in
-two or three days the music ceased altogether, the entertainers feeling
-at last the ingratitude of the subjugated people.
-
-
- _Wicked Ingratitude._
-
-Despite their courtesy of manner, for however despotic the acts, the
-Federal authorities maintained a respectful manner—the newcomers made
-no advance towards fraternity. They spoke openly and warmly of their
-sympathy with the sufferings of the South, but committed and advocated
-acts that the hearers could not recognize as “military necessities.”
-Bravely-dressed Federal officers met their former old class-mates from
-colleges and military institutions and inquired after the relatives to
-whose houses they had ever been welcome in days of yore, expressing a
-desire to “call and see them,” while the vacant chairs, rendered vacant
-by Federal bullets, stood by the hearth of the widow and bereaved
-mother. They could not be made to understand that their presence was
-painful. There were few men in the city at this time; but the women of
-the South still fought their battle for them: fought it resentfully,
-calmly, but silently! Clad in their mourning garments, overcome but
-hardly subdued, they sat within their desolate homes, or if compelled
-to leave that shelter went on their errands to church or hospital with
-vailed faces and swift steps. By no sign or act did the possessors of
-their fair city know that they were even conscious of their presence.
-If they looked in their faces they saw them not: they might have
-supposed themselves a phantom army. There was no stepping aside with
-affectation to avoid the contact of dress, no feigned humility in
-giving the inside of the walk: they simply totally ignored their
-presence.
-
-
- _Circus and Pictorial Food._
-
-Two particular characteristics followed the army in possession—the
-circus and booths for the temporary accommodation of itinerant venders.
-The small speculators must have supposed that there were no means of
-cooking left in the city, from the quantity of canned edibles they
-offered for sale. They inundated Richmond with pictorial canisters at
-exorbitant prices, which no one had money to buy. Whether the supply of
-greenbacks was scant, or the people were not disposed to trade with
-the new-comers, they had no customers.
-
-
- _Distinguished Visitors._
-
-In a few days steamboats had made their way to the wharves, though
-the obstructions still defied the ironclads, and crowds of curious
-strangers thronged the pavements, while squads of mounted male
-pleasure-seekers scoured the streets. Gayly-dressed women began to
-pour in also, with looped-up skirts, very large feet, and a great
-preponderance of spectacles. The Richmond women sitting by desolated
-firesides were astonished by the arrival of former friends, sometimes
-people moving in the best classes of society, who had the bad taste
-to make a pleasure trip to the mourning city, calling upon their
-heart-broken friends of happier days in all the finery of the newest
-New York fashions, and in some instances forgiving their entertainers
-the manifold sins of the last four years in formal and set terms.
-
-
- _Miracles._
-
-From the hill on which my hospital was built, I had sat all the weary
-Sunday of the evacuation, watching the turmoil, and bidding friends
-adieu, for even till noon many had been unconscious of the events
-that were transpiring, and now when they had all departed, as night
-set in, I wrapped my blanket-shawl around me, and watched below me
-all that I have here narrated. Then I walked through my wards and
-found them comparatively empty. Every man who could crawl had tried
-to escape a Northern prison. Beds in which paralyzed, rheumatic, and
-helpless patients had laid for months were empty. The miracles of the
-New Testament had been re-enacted. The lame, the halt, and the blind
-had been cured. Those who were compelled to remain were almost wild at
-being left in what would be the enemy’s lines the next day; for in many
-instances they had been exchanged prisoners only a short time before.
-I gave all the comfort I could, and with some difficulty their supper
-also, for my detailed nurses had gone with General Lee’s army, and my
-black cooks had deserted me.
-
-
- _Left “alone in my glory.”_
-
-On Monday morning, the day after the evacuation, the first blue
-uniforms appeared at our quarters—three surgeons inspecting the
-hospital. As our surgeon was with them, there must have been an
-amicable understanding. One of our divisions was required for use by
-the new-comers, cleared out for them, and their patients laid by the
-side of our own sick so that we shared with them, as my own commissary
-stores were still well supplied. Three days afterwards an order came to
-transfer my old patients to Camp Jackson. I protested bitterly against
-this, as they were not in a fit state for removal, so they remained
-unmolested. To them I devoted my time, for our surgeons had either then
-left or received orders to discontinue their labors.
-
-Towards evening the place was deserted. Miss G. had remained up to this
-time with me, but her mother requiring her presence in the city, she
-left at sunset, and after I had gone through all my wards, I returned
-to my dear little sitting-room, endeared by retrospection, and the
-consciousness that my labors were nearly over, but had been (as far as
-regarded results) in vain!
-
-
- _Hero re-appears._
-
-The Federal authorities had as yet posted no guards around, and as our
-own had been withdrawn, or rather had left, being under no control or
-direction, not a sound broke the stillness of the sad night. Exhausted
-with all the exciting events of the day, it was not to be wondered at
-that I soon fell asleep heavily and dreamlessly, to be awakened in an
-hour by the crash of an adjoining door, and passing into my pantry from
-whence the sound proceeded I came upon a group of men, who had burst
-the entrance opening upon the back premises. As my eye traveled from
-face to face, I recognized them as a set of “hospital rats” whom I had
-never been able to get rid of, for if sent to the field one week, they
-would be sure to be back the next, on some trifling pretext of sickness
-or disability. The ringleader was an old enemy, who had stored up many
-a grievance against me, but my acts of kindness to his sickly wife
-naturally made me suppose his wrath had been disarmed. He acted on this
-occasion as spokesman, and the trouble was the old one. Thirty gallons
-of whiskey had been sent to me the day before the evacuation, and they
-wanted it.
-
-“We have come for the whiskey!”
-
-“You cannot, and shall not have it.”
-
-“It does not belong to you.”
-
-“It is in my charge, and I intend to keep it. Go out of my pantry; you
-are all drunk.”
-
-“Boys!” he said, “pick up that barrel and carry it down the hill. I
-will attend to _her_!”
-
-
- _Noli me tangere._
-
-But the habit of obedience of four years still had its effect on the
-boys, for all the movement they made was in a retrograde direction.
-
-“Wilson,” I said, “you have been in this hospital a long time. Do you
-think from what you know of me that the whiskey can be taken without my
-consent?”
-
-He became very insolent.
-
-“Stop that talk; your great friends have all gone, and we won’t stand
-that now. Move out of the way!”
-
-He advanced towards the barrel, and so did I, only being in the inside,
-I interposed between him and the object of contention. The fierce
-temper blazed up in his face, and catching me roughly by the shoulder,
-he called me a name that a decent woman seldom hears and even a wicked
-one resents.
-
-But I had a little friend, which usually reposed quietly on the shelf,
-but had been removed to my pocket in the last twenty-four hours, more
-from a sense of protection than from any idea that it would be called
-into active service; so before he had time to push me one inch from
-my position, or to see what kind of an ally was in my hand, that sharp
-click, a sound so significant and so different from any other, struck
-upon his ear, and sent him back amidst his friends, pale and shaken.
-
-
- _Victory Perches on my Banner._
-
-“You had better leave,” I said, composedly (for I felt in my feminine
-soul that although I was near enough to pinch his nose, that I had
-missed him), “for if _one_ bullet is lost, there are five more ready,
-and the room is too small for even a woman to miss six times.”
-
-There was a conference held at the shattered door, resulting in an
-agreement to leave, but he shook his fist wrathfully at my small
-pop-gun.
-
-“You think yourself very brave now, but wait an hour; perhaps others
-may have pistols too, and you won’t have it entirely your way after
-all.”
-
-My first act was to take the head of one of the flour barrels and nail
-it across the door as tightly as I could, with a two-pound weight for
-a hammer, and then, warm with triumph and victory gained, I sat down
-by my whiskey barrel and felt the affection we all bestow on what we
-have cherished, fought for, and defended successfully; then putting a
-candle, a box of matches, and a pistol within reach of my hand, I went
-to sleep, never waking until late in the morning, having heard nothing
-more of my visitors.
-
-
- _Confederate Full Dress._
-
-The next day the steward informed me that our stores had been taken
-possession of by the Federal authorities, so we could not draw the
-necessary rations. The surgeons had all left; therefore I prepared for
-a visit to headquarters, by donning my full-dress toilette: boots of
-untanned leather, tied with thongs; a Georgia woven homespun dress in
-black and white blocks—the white, cotton yarn, the black, an old silk,
-washed, scraped with broken glass into pulp, and then carded and spun
-(it was an elegant thing); white cuffs and collar of bleached homespun,
-and a hat plaited of the rye straw picked from the field back of us,
-dyed black with walnut juice, a shoe-string for ribbon to encircle
-it; and knitted worsted gloves of three shades of green—the darkest
-bottle shade being around the wrist, while the color tapered to the
-loveliest blossom of the pea at the finger-tips. The style of the make
-was Confederate.
-
-
- _Casus belli._
-
-Thus splendidly equipped I walked to Dr. M.’s office, now Federal
-headquarters, and making my way through a crowd of blue coats, accosted
-the principal figure seated there, with a stern and warlike demand for
-food, and a curt inquiry whether it was their intention to starve their
-captured sick. He was very polite, laid the blame on the obstructions
-in the river, which prevented their transports getting up. I requested
-that as such was the case I might be allowed to reclaim my ambulance,
-now under their lock and key, in order to take some coffee then in my
-possession to the city and exchange it for animal food. It had been
-saved from rations formerly drawn, and donations given. He wished to
-know why it had not been turned over to the U. S. government, but
-did not press the point as I was not communicative, and gave me the
-necessary order for the vehicle. Then polite conversation commenced.
-
-
- _The Law of Nations._
-
-“Was I a native of Virginia?”
-
-“No; I was a South Carolinian, who had gone to Virginia at the
-commencement of the war to try and aid in alleviating the sufferings
-and privations of the hospitals.”
-
-“He had lost a brother in South Carolina.”
-
-“It was the fate of war. Self-preservation was the first law of nature.
-As a soldier he must recognize defense of one’s native soil.”
-
-“He regretted the present state of scarcity, for he could see in the
-pale faces and pinched features of the Richmond women, how much they
-had suffered during the war.”
-
-I retorted quickly this wound to both patriotism and vanity.
-
-He meant to be polite, but that he was unlucky was shown by my answer.
-
-“If my features were pinched, and my face pale, it was not caused by
-privations under the Confederacy, but the anguish consequent upon our
-failure.”
-
-But his kindness had once again put my ambulance under my control, and
-placing a bag of coffee and a demijohn of whiskey in it, I assumed
-the reins, having no driver, and went to market. The expedition was
-successful, as I returned shortly with a live calf, for which I had
-exchanged them, and which summoned every one within hearing by its
-bellowing. I had quite won the heart of the Vermonter who had been
-sentry at my door, and though patriotic souls may not believe me, he
-paid me many compliments at the expense of the granite ladies of his
-State. The compliments were sincere, as he refused the drink of whiskey
-my gratitude offered him.
-
-
- _Liberty or Death._
-
-My next visit was to the commissary department of my hospital in search
-of sugar. Two Federal guards were in charge, but they simply stared
-with astonishment as I put aside their bayonets and unlocked the door
-of the place with my pass-key, filled my basket, with an explanation to
-them that I could be arrested whenever wanted at my quarters.
-
-After this no one opposed my erratic movements, the new-comers ignoring
-me. No explanation was ever given to me, why I was allowed to come and
-go, nurse my men and feed them with all I could take or steal. All I
-ever gathered was from one of our errand-boys, who had fraternized with
-a Yankee sutler, who told him confidentially that the Federal surgeon
-in charge thought that woman in black had better go home, and added on
-his own responsibility, “He’s awful afraid of her.”
-
-
- _At Last!_
-
-Away I was compelled to go at last, for my sick were removed to another
-hospital, where I still attended to them. There congregated the ladies
-of the neighborhood, bringing what delicacies they could gather, and
-nursing indiscriminately any patient who needed care. This continued
-till all the sick were either convalescent or dead, and at last my
-vocation was gone, and not one invalid left to give me a pretext for
-daily occupation.
-
-And now when the absorbing duties of the last years no longer demanded
-my whole thoughts and attention, the difficulties of my own position
-forced themselves upon my mind. Whatever food had been provided
-for the sick since the Federal occupation had served for my small
-needs, but when my duties ceased I found myself with a box full of
-Confederate money and a silver ten-cent piece; perhaps a Confederate
-_gage d’amitie_; which puzzled me how to expend. It was all I had for
-a support, so I bought a box of matches and five cocoa-nut cakes. The
-wisdom of the purchase there is no need of defending. Should any
-one ever be in a strange country where the currency of which he is
-possessed is valueless, and ten cents be his only available funds,
-perhaps he may be able to judge of the difficulty of expending it with
-judgment.
-
-
- _The Mother of States._
-
-But of what importance was the fact that I was houseless, homeless
-and moneyless, in Richmond, the heart of Virginia? Who ever wanted
-for aught that kind hearts, generous hands or noble hospitality could
-supply, that it was not there offered without even the shadow of a
-patronage that could have made it distasteful? What women were ever so
-refined in feeling and so unaffected in manner; so willing to share all
-that wealth gives, and so little infected with the pride of purse that
-bestows that power? It was difficult to hide one’s needs from them;
-they found them out and ministered to them with their quiet simplicity
-and the innate nobility which gave to their generosity the coloring of
-a favor received; not conferred.
-
-
- _My Thanks._
-
-I laughed carelessly and openly at the disregard shown by myself for
-the future, when every one who had remained in Richmond, apparently
-had laid aside stores for daily food, but they detected with quick
-sympathy the hollowness of the mirth, and each day at every hour of
-breakfast, dinner and supper, would come to me a waiter, borne by the
-neat little Virginia maid (in her white apron), filled with ten times
-the quantity of food I could consume, packed carefully on. Sometimes
-boxes would be left at my door, with packages of tea, coffee, sugar and
-ham, or chicken, and no clue given to the thoughtful and kind donor.
-
-Would that I could do more than thank the dear friends who made my
-life for four years so happy and contented; who never made me feel by
-word or act, that my self-imposed occupation was otherwise than one
-which would ennoble any woman. If ever any aid was given through my own
-exertions, or any labor rendered effective by me for the good of the
-South—if any sick soldier ever benefited by my happy face or pleasant
-smiles at his bedside, or death was ever soothed by gentle words of
-hope and tender care, such results were only owing to the cheering
-encouragement I received from them.
-
-
- _And Gratitude._
-
-They were gentlewomen in every sense of the word, and though they might
-not have remembered that “_noblesse oblige_” they felt and acted up to
-the motto in every act of their lives. My only wish was to live and die
-among them, growing each day better from contact with their gentle,
-kindly sympathies and heroic hearts.
-
-It may never be in my power to do more than offer my heartfelt thanks,
-which may reach their once happy homes; and in closing these simple
-reminiscences of hospital experience, let me beg them to believe
-that whatever kindness my limited powers have conferred on the noble
-soldiers of their State, has been repaid tenfold, leaving with me an
-eternal, but grateful obligation.
-
- ————
-
-
- _The End._
-
-There is one subject connected with hospitals on which a few words
-should be said—the distasteful one that a woman must lose a certain
-amount of delicacy and reticence in filling any office in them. How can
-this be? There is no unpleasant exposure under proper arrangements, and
-if even there be, the circumstances which surround a wounded man, far
-from friends and home, suffering in a holy cause and dependent upon a
-woman for help, care and sympathy, hallow and clear the atmosphere in
-which she labors. That woman must indeed be hard and gross, who lets
-one material thought lessen her efficiency. In the midst of suffering
-and death, hoping with those almost beyond hope in this world; praying
-by the bedside of the lonely and heart-stricken; closing the eyes of
-boys hardly old enough to realize man’s sorrows, much less suffer by
-man’s fierce hate, a woman _must_ soar beyond the conventional modesty
-considered correct under different circumstances.
-
-If the ordeal does not chasten and purify her nature, if the
-contemplation of suffering and endurance does not make her wiser and
-better, and if the daily fire through which she passes does not draw
-from her nature the sweet fragrance of benevolence, charity, and
-love,—then, indeed a hospital has been no fit place for her!
-
-
-FOOTNOTE:
-
-[1] Richard Hammond Key, grandson of Francis Barton Key, author of
-“Star Spangled Banner.”
-
-
-
-
- * * * * * *
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber’s note:
-
-Obvious punctuation errors have been corrected.
-
-Other errors have been corrected as follows:
-
- Page 75 – “unconsious” changed to “unconscious” (I sat by the boy,
- unconscious himself that any)
-
- Page 105 – “Petersburgh” changed to “Petersburg” (blowing up of the
- mine at Petersburg)
-
- Page 118 – “to go their” changed to “to go to their” (if allowed to
- go to their families)
-
- Page 129 – “Missisippi” changed to “Mississippi” (down in Mississippi)
-
- Page 139 – “Fredericksburgh” changed to “Fredericksburg” (at the
- Fredericksburg station)
-
- Page 166 – “started” changed to “startled” (informed his startled
- flock)
-
- Page 167 – “made” changed to “make” (That Grant would make an effort)
-
- Page 174 – “neighbers” changed to “neighbors” (less wealthy neighbors)
-
-Obsolete spelling that was common for its time has been retained.
-Variations in hyphenation have been regularised if a generally agreed
-usage was observed but left unchanged otherwise.
-
-Page headers that appear in the book are included in this transcribed
-text as section headings.
-
-The single footnote has been re-indexed using a number and moved to the
-end of the book.
-
-The cover image was created by Thiers Halliwell and is placed in the
-public domain.
-
-
-
-***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SOUTHERN WOMAN'S STORY***
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