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-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of "Phone Me In Central Park", by James McConnell
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: "Phone Me In Central Park"
-
-Author: James McConnell
-
-Release Date: November 4, 2020 [EBook #63631]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK "PHONE ME IN CENTRAL PARK" ***
-
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-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
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-
-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<h1>"Phone Me in Central Park"</h1>
-
-<h2>By JAMES McCONNELL</h2>
-
-<p>There should be an epitaph for every<br />
-man, big or little, but a really grand<br />
-and special one for Loner Charlie.</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Planet Stories Fall 1954.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Charles turned over on his side to look at her. She lay quietly in the
-other bed, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was blonde to
-perfection, exquisitely shaped, and the rich promise of her body was
-exposed to his view.</p>
-
-<p>"Why?" he thought as he looked at her. "Why did it have to happen like
-this?"</p>
-
-<p>The whole thing was still like a dream to him, and as yet he couldn't
-decide whether it was a good or a bad dream. A year ago she had been
-unattainable, a face to conjure with in erotic dreams, far beyond his
-ken. A year ago she had been a public idol, the most popular actress of
-the day. And he had been a nobody, full of a nobody's idle hopes and
-schemes.</p>
-
-<p>And now he was lying in the bed next to hers in her swank Manhattan
-apartment in the most exclusive hotel in town. The unrealness of the
-situation overwhelmed him. His mind was a picture of confused thoughts.
-Meanings and answers to his questions slithered out of his reach.</p>
-
-<p>"God," he said. It was not an exclamation, nor yet an expletive. It was
-a mere statement of fact.</p>
-
-<p>A thought teased at him. Charles looked at the woman again and decided
-that she still looked beautiful in spite of the harshness of the
-room's lighting. He touched buttons by the edge of the bed and the
-illumination quieted to a soft glow, wrapping her in a radiant halo.
-Charles smiled wanly and got up. He stood by the bed looking at her.</p>
-
-<p>"I could have fallen in love with you once. A year ago, perhaps, or
-longer. But not now. Not now." He turned away and walked to the window.
-"Now the world is dead. The whole world is dead."</p>
-
-<p>New York lay quietly below him. It was the hour of indecision when
-day has not quite made up its mind to leave and night has not yet
-attacked in force. The streetlights were already on, making geometric
-patterns through the dusk of Central Park. Some of the billboards were
-shining, their relays activated by darkness-sensitized solenoids. A
-reddish-orange pallor hung from the sky.</p>
-
-<p>It had been very pleasant that afternoon. She had given of herself
-freely, warmly, and Charles had accepted. But then he had known
-that she would. It was not him, it was the circumstances. Under the
-circumstances, she would have given herself to any man&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>"Why did it have to be her&mdash;or me? Why should it have to happen to
-anybody! Why!"</p>
-
-<p><i>She would have given herself to any man&mdash;</i></p>
-
-<p>His thoughts beat a rapid crescendo, activating emotions, stimulating
-sensations of angry rage. He wanted to cry, to weep angry tears of
-protest.</p>
-
-<p>To any man, WHO HAPPENED TO BE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH!</p>
-
-<p>Charles picked up a heavy book end off the table and crashed it through
-the thick pane of window glass.</p>
-
-<p>A gust of wind from the outside breezed through the shattered opening,
-attacking his olfactory patch with the retching smell of decaying
-flesh. Charles ignored it. Even smells had lost their customary
-meanings.</p>
-
-<p>He felt the rage build up inside again, tearing at his viscera. His
-stomach clenched up like an angry fist.</p>
-
-<p>"But I don't want to be the last man alive!" he shouted. "I don't know
-what to do! I don't know where to go, how to act! I just don't know&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>A paroxysm of sobbing shook his body. Trembling, he dropped to his
-knees, his head against the cold firmness of the sill, his hands
-clutched tightly around the jagged edges of the window pane. In spite
-of the sharp pain that raced through his system, in spite of the
-bright, warm, red stream that trickled down his face, he knelt by the
-window for several minutes.</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Maybe I'm not the last!</i>"</p>
-
-<p>The thought struck him with suddenness, promisingly, edged with
-swelling comfort to fill his emptiness.</p>
-
-<p>Charles got up slowly, noticing for the first time that his fingers
-were badly cut. He wrapped a handkerchief around them and forgot them.
-He had to know&mdash;he had to find out.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>As he turned to leave, he noticed again the woman lying in radiant
-state upon the bed. He walked to her side and leaned over, kissing her
-gently on the forehead. As he straightened up, his leg caught against
-her arm, pushing it slightly. The woman's arm slipped from its position
-and dangled from the edge of the bed like a crazy pendulum. Charles
-picked it up and folded it across her now cold breasts. He started
-to pull the sheet over her nude form, then stopped, smiling at his
-conventionality. After all, it didn't make any difference now.</p>
-
-<p>The phonograph was near the door. On sudden impulse he switched it
-on, turned the volume up full, and in grim jest left it playing
-Rachmaninoff's <i>Isle of the Dead</i> on full automatic. The music haunted
-him down the hall to the elevator that he had to run himself.</p>
-
-<p>The lobby was littered with debris, human and otherwise. Charles
-ignored it. The street that led towards the Bureau of Vital Statistics
-was a mess of desolate carnage. Charles overlooked it. Shop fronts
-smashed, stores looted, gyro-cars wrecked, proud buildings defaced.</p>
-
-<p>"That was it," he said to himself. "Pride. We called this the 'Proud
-Era.' Everything was better and bigger and nicer to have. Buildings
-were taller, men were healthier, most of the problems of humanity
-seemed licked, or nearly so. It was a time of free power, each small
-unit of population, each section of town operating on perpetual,
-ever-lasting, automatic atomic piles.</p>
-
-<p>"We were free. We seemed, almost, to have accomplished something. The
-world was running well. No wonder we called it the 'Proud Era.' Life
-was fun, just a bowl of cherries, until...."</p>
-
-<p>Two years ago the animals had started dying. Strangely enough the
-rats had gone first, to anybody's notice. Sales of poison dropped,
-scientific laboratories chained to a perpetual rodent-cycle began to
-complain bitterly.</p>
-
-<p>Then the lovers who hunted out and haunted the lonely lanes through the
-countryside began to remark that the locusts were late that year. The
-Southern states joyously reported that mosquito control was working to
-an unprecedented degree. The largest cotton crop ever was forecast and
-rumors from Mexico had it that no one had died from scorpion bite in
-several weeks.</p>
-
-<p>A month later the meat animals, the birds and the household pets
-began dropping as rapidly as the flies which had dropped earlier.
-Congress was called into special session, as were all of the national
-governments around the world. The U.N. met at emergency sessions to
-cope with the situation. The president of the world-wide Society for
-the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals committed suicide.</p>
-
-<p>Within a year it was obvious to everyone that man was the only animal
-left on earth.</p>
-
-<p>The panic which had begun with the death of the animals was quieted
-somewhat by the fact that humans seemed immune to the pandemic. But the
-lakes full of dead fish caused a great stink and residents along the
-coasts began to move inland. Sales of perfumes and deodorants soared.</p>
-
-<p>Then just one year ago, the first human became infected with the
-strange malady. Within six months, half of the world's population was
-gone. Less than a month ago no more than a few thousand people remained
-in New York. And now....</p>
-
-<p>"I've got to find out," Charles told himself. He meant it, of course,
-but in a sense he was afraid&mdash;afraid that his trip to the Bureau might
-give him an answer he didn't dare listen to. "But I've got to try." He
-walked on down the bloody street.</p>
-
-<p>Before the plague the Bureau of Vital Statistics had been one of man's
-crowning achievements. Housed as it was in a huge metallic globe of
-a building, it contained computers which kept exact account of every
-human on earth.</p>
-
-<p>Compulsory registration and the classification of each individual by
-means of the discrete patterns of his brain waves had accomplished for
-man what no ordinary census could have. The machine knew who was alive,
-who was dead, and where everybody was.</p>
-
-<p>Once a year the Bureau issued The Index, an exact accounting of Earth's
-four billion inhabitants. Four billion names and addresses, compressed
-into microprint, a tremendous achievement even for the "Proud Era."
-In all of his life, Charles had never once glanced at The Index.
-The average person had little necessity to do so since the Bureau
-information service would answer questions free of charge at any time.</p>
-
-<p>Reaching the gigantic building, Charles pushed aside the body of a
-young man and walked into the main foyer. Passing behind once-guarded
-doors, he entered the giant computer room and paused in admiration.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Only once, before the plague, had he seen the interior of this room.
-But he still remembered it and he still recalled the powerful emotional
-experience it had been those many years ago.</p>
-
-<p>All children had to have a brain-wave recording made by the Bureau
-during the first month of their life. And again at the age of 10 each
-child returned to the Bureau for a recheck. It was for this latter
-recording that Charles had come to the Bureau some twenty-two years
-before and a friendly guard had let him peep briefly into the computer
-room. The impression of intense activity, of organized confusion, of
-mechanical wonder had remained with him the rest of his life.</p>
-
-<p>"So different now," he thought, surveying the room. "Now it's empty, so
-empty." The machine seemed to reflect the stillness, the very deadness
-of the world. The silence became unbearable.</p>
-
-<p>Charles walked to the master control panel. With newly acquired
-dexterity he switched the computer screens on and watched them glow
-to life. All around the world sensitive receiving stations pulsed to
-activity, sending out searching fingers, hunting for elusive patterns
-of neutral energy, mapping and tabulating the results.</p>
-
-<p>The main computer screen dominated one wall of the room. Other smaller
-screens clustered around it. On these screens could be graphed the
-population of any and every part of the globe. An illuminated counter
-immediately above it would give the numerical strength of the area
-being sampled while the screen would show population density by
-individual pinpoints of light that merged to form brightness patterns.</p>
-
-<p>"I'll try New York first," he said to himself, knowing that he was a
-coward, afraid to check the whole world from the start. "I'll start
-with New York and work up."</p>
-
-<p>Charles activated the switches that would flash a schematic map of New
-York on the screen. "There's bound to be somebody else left here. After
-all, there were at least twenty of us just a couple of days ago." And
-one of them, a beautiful woman, had invited him up to her apartment,
-not because she liked him, but because....</p>
-
-<p>The main screen focused itself, the patterns shifting into a
-recognizable perceptual image.</p>
-
-<p>"Why, it was just yesterday (or was it the day before?) that ten of
-us, at least, met here to check the figures. There were lots of us
-alive then." Including the blond young woman who had died just this
-afternoon....</p>
-
-<p>Charles stopped talking and forced his eyes upwards. Peripheral vision
-caught first the vague outlines of the lower part of the map. His eyes
-continued to move, slowly, reluctantly. They caught the over-all relief
-of Greater New York City&mdash;and then concentrated on the single, shining
-dot at the very heart of the map&mdash;and he understood.</p>
-
-<p>His eyes stabbed quickly for the counter above the screen.</p>
-
-<p>One.</p>
-
-<p>He gasped.</p>
-
-<p>The counter read <i>one</i>.</p>
-
-<p>Charles was by himself, the last person alive in all of New York City.</p>
-
-<p>He began to tremble violently. The silence of the room began to press
-quickly in on him. His frantic fingers searched for the computer
-controls.</p>
-
-<p>New York State. One.</p>
-
-<p>The entire United States. One.</p>
-
-<p>The western hemisphere, including islands.</p>
-
-<p>(Was that a point of light in Brazil? No. Just a ghost image).</p>
-
-<p>One.</p>
-
-<p>The Pacific area, Asia, Australia, Asia Minor, Russia and the Near
-East, Africa and then Europe.</p>
-
-<p>England!</p>
-
-<p>There was a light in England! Someone else still lived! The counter
-clicked forward.</p>
-
-<p>Two!</p>
-
-<p>His trembling stopped. He breathed again.</p>
-
-<p>"Of course. London was at least as populous as New York City before the
-plague. It's only logical that&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He stopped. For even as he spoke, the light winked out! The counter
-clicked again.</p>
-
-<p>One.</p>
-
-<p>Alone.</p>
-
-<p>Alone!</p>
-
-<p>Charles screamed.</p>
-
-<p>The bottom dropped out from under him!</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Why?</p>
-
-<p>Such a simple question, but in those three letters lay the essence of
-human nature. Why. The drive of curiosity. Stronger, in a way, than
-the so-called "basic" drives: hunger, thirst, sex, shelter, warmth,
-companionship, elimination. Certainly more decisive in the history of
-the race. Man began to think, to differentiate himself from the other
-animals, when he first asked the question: "Why?"</p>
-
-<p>But thinking about "why" didn't answer the question itself, Charles
-thought. He looked around him. He was sitting on a bench in Central
-Park, alone except for a few stray corpses. But the park was fairly
-free of bodies.</p>
-
-<p>"You've got about ten minutes warning," he said to himself. "I guess
-that most people wanted to die inside of something&mdash;inside of anything.
-Not out in the unprotected open."</p>
-
-<p>The silence was like a weight hanging around his neck. Not an insect
-noise, not the chirp of a bird, not the sound of a car nor the scream
-of a plane. Not even a breeze to whisper among the leaves, he thought.
-Civilization equals life equals noise. Silence equals....</p>
-
-<p>Why. His mind kept returning to the question. Of all the people on
-earth, me. The last. Why me?</p>
-
-<p>Average, that's what he was. Height: 5'11". Weight: 165. Age: 32.
-Status: Married, once upon a time.</p>
-
-<p>The Norm, with no significant departures, all down the line. Church
-member, but not a good one. Could that be it? Could the most normal be
-the most perfect? Had he led the best of all possible lives? Was that
-it? Had God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, spared his life, saved
-him, singled him out because he was most nearly a saint, most nearly
-Christ-like, most nearly....</p>
-
-<p>Lies&mdash;His mind snapped back to reality. He half smiled. Saint? Christ?
-The Second Coming?</p>
-
-<p>He was no saint.</p>
-
-<p>Charles sighed.</p>
-
-<p>What about&mdash;?</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Chance. That was it! The laws of probability, the bell-shaped curve,
-normal distribution, rectilinear regression. More people per square
-foot in New York than elsewhere. The first person who died was from New
-York, so the last person who gave way to the disease should come from
-here too. Spin the wheel; throw the dice; toss the coin.</p>
-
-<p>So simple to explain by the laws of chance. No need for any underlying
-assumptions about good and evil, no need for teleological arguments
-concerning cause and effect. Simply explain it by chance. Somebody had
-to be the last to go and that was&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>"No," Charles said, standing up in the quiet of the spring evening.
-"No, chance won't do it. No man can reckon with chance. The mind
-rejects such things. There must be something beyond mere accident.
-There must be!"</p>
-
-<p>He sighed slowly.</p>
-
-<p>"So now I'm a hermit, whether or not I like it," he said in derision to
-the gravel path as he walked along it. "A hermit in the midst of a city
-of millions of&mdash;No, I forgot. There aren't any more people, are there?"
-It was hard to realize, even now. "A hermit, alone&mdash;and I haven't even
-got a cave...."</p>
-
-<p>Charles stopped walking suddenly. No cave, he thought. No place to
-sleep out the long one, no place to rest while time came to change
-things around and make them for the better. No place to hide.</p>
-
-<p>And suddenly it was the most important thing in life to him to find his
-"cave."</p>
-
-<p>It took him almost an hour to find the proper tools, and better than
-two hours more of hard, nighttime work to get the hole dug to his
-satisfaction. It took almost three hours to find the right sort of
-casket, durable but not too heavy for one man to handle. He carted it
-out to a grassy plot close to the center of the park where the grave
-was. He let the coffin down slowly into the depression, then piled up
-loose dirt on the sloping sides of the hole so that the rain would wash
-it down over him.</p>
-
-<p>"I can't very well bury myself," he said. "I guess it will rain after
-I'm gone." He looked carefully down at the metallic container.</p>
-
-<p>Wait now. There was something wrong, something missing. It was&mdash;oh,
-yes, he caught it. It was the stone. There wasn't any stone to go at
-the head of the grave. "I'll have to fix that."</p>
-
-<p>A sheet of metal, bent double, served for the monument proper. A nearby
-tool shed yielded up a can of paint and a brush. By the glow of one of
-the streetlights Charles worked out the inscription.</p>
-
-<p>"It ought to be something impressive," he thought out loud. "Something
-fitting the occasion."</p>
-
-<p>What did one say on these situations? There was so little chance to
-practice up for things like this. But it ought to be good, it ought to
-be proper.</p>
-
-<p>"'In this now hallowed corner of the planet Earth&mdash;' No. That sounds
-too ... too...."</p>
-
-<p>Make it simple, he thought. And he finally wrote:</p>
-
-<p class="ph1">HERE LIES THE BODY OF<br />
-THE LAST MAN ON EARTH</p>
-
-<p>Yes. That was it. Simple. Let whoever came afterwards figure out the
-rest. Let them decide. He smiled and finished the painting.</p>
-
-<p>Charles was hungry. He got up and started for one of the restaurants
-near the park. Later on, when there was more time, he'd find a piece
-of granite and move it to the plot. He could spend his free time
-carving on it, copying the inscription. He would make it into a real
-shrine; maybe he would practice up a bit and try to carve a statue to
-go with the stone.</p>
-
-<p>Somehow, though, since things were ready and it didn't make too much
-difference, it seemed to Charles that he'd probably have a long time
-to wait. "Maybe it's just a disease, and I'm immune. I was immune to
-smallpox. The vaccination never took. That's probably it."</p>
-
-<p>He smiled. Strange, but now he wanted very much to go on living,
-alone or not. There were things he could do, ways to keep occupied.
-He wouldn't mind it so much. But he wanted more and more desperately
-with each passing second to retain his foothold on the tenuous path of
-physical existence.</p>
-
-<p>The tantalizing thought of "why" puzzled its way back into his mind.
-But it seemed less pressing now that he had almost come to the
-conclusion that he would live for a long time. Later, in a few days
-perhaps, he would think about it. In a little while he'd have plenty of
-opportunity for hunting down the answer. This seemed good to him, for
-now he thought he almost had the answer, if there were an answer. He
-thought he had seen the solution peering out at him from the recesses
-of his mind, and he didn't like the expression on its face. Better to
-forget.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Charles reached the broad boulevard. There was a large cafe just across
-from him, its front window caved in by a large truck. He stumbled and
-almost fell as he stepped from the curb.</p>
-
-<p>"Look at me, nervous as a cat."</p>
-
-<p>He was trembling noticeably as he started across the street.</p>
-
-<p>"I&mdash;" He started to say something, to think something. But some hidden
-part of his mind clamped down, obscuring the thought, rejecting the
-concept.</p>
-
-<p>The tremor turned to a shake before he reached the far curb, and the
-first burst of wild pain came as he laid his shoulder against the door
-to the restaurant. This was the way the plague began, but&mdash;His mind
-quickly repressed the idea. It couldn't be the plague. He was immune!</p>
-
-<p>Another burst of pulsating, shattering pain crashed through his body,
-tearing down the defenses of his mind, putting an end of his thoughts
-of immunity. Colors flared before his eyes, a persistent, irresistible
-susurrus flooded his ears.</p>
-
-<p>He wanted to protest, but there was no one to listen to him. He
-appealed to every divinity he knew, all the time knowing it would be
-useless. His body, out of his voluntary control, tried to run off in
-all directions at once.</p>
-
-<p>Charles struggled to end his body's disorganized responses, to
-channelize all his energy into one direction. His mind came back into
-action. He set up his goal; everything else seemed irrelevant: he had
-to get back to the park, to his hermit's cave, to his long, narrow
-home. He couldn't die until then.</p>
-
-<p>Ten minutes.</p>
-
-<p>He was allotted ten minutes before the end.</p>
-
-<p>It could have been ten years or ten seconds, for now objective time
-meant nothing to him. It was not a matter of measuring seconds and
-minutes. It was a matter of forgetting time and measuring space.</p>
-
-<p>He concentrated on the grave; he forced his body to become an unwilling
-machine. While he could, he walked, forcing himself on. When his legs
-gave way, he crawled. When his knees buckled, he rolled. When his
-stomach protested, he vomited. It made no difference.</p>
-
-<p>Charles refused to think. Machines, especially half-broken machines, do
-not think; they only work. Sweating, straining, bleeding, retching, he
-pushed himself towards his goal, trying to add one final touch of grace
-and custom to the rude irrationalness of it all.</p>
-
-<p>His eyes gave out a few feet from the pit. He felt his way towards it.
-Convulsions shook his body like a cat shakes a captive mouse. He humped
-his body forward between the seizures, hands outstretched, searching
-for the grave.</p>
-
-<p>And then he was upon it. One arm reached out for grass, and clutched
-bare space instead.</p>
-
-<p>He was home.</p>
-
-<p>He gathered energy from his final reservoirs of strength for one final
-movement that would throw him headlong into the shallow grave. He
-tensed his muscles, pulled his limbs up under him and started to roll
-into the hole.</p>
-
-<p>Instantly the thought struck him with paralyzing devastation. The
-answer to it all poked its face out from the recesses of his mind and
-sapped the last bit of his energy, corroding his nerves and dying
-muscles. Now he knew, and the knowing was the end of it.</p>
-
-<p>He collapsed at the edge of the pit. Only one arm hung loosely down
-into it, swinging senseless in the air, pointing accusingly at the
-empty coffin.</p>
-
-<p>The world will end, not with a bang, nor with a whimper, but with the
-last man's anguished cry at the unreasonableness of it all.</p>
-
-<p>Charles screamed.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The large, invisible, ovular being that hung suspended over the Empire
-State Building rested from its exertion. Soon it was approached by
-another of its kind.</p>
-
-<p>"It is finished?" asked the second.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes. Just now. I am resting."</p>
-
-<p>"I can feel the emptiness of it."</p>
-
-<p>"It was very good. Where were you?"</p>
-
-<p>"On the next planet out. No beauty to it at all; no system. How was
-yours?"</p>
-
-<p>"Beautiful," said the first. "It went according to the strictest
-semantic relationship following the purest mathematical principles.
-They made it easy for me."</p>
-
-<p>"Good."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, where to now?"</p>
-
-<p>"There's another system about four thoughts away. We're due there soon."</p>
-
-<p>"All right. Let's go."</p>
-
-<p>"What's that you have there?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, this?" replied the first. "It's a higher neural order compendium
-the Things here made up. It's what I used."</p>
-
-<p>"You can't take it with you, you know. They don't allow souvenirs."</p>
-
-<p>"I know."</p>
-
-<p>"Well?"</p>
-
-<p>"All right, all right. You're so good, see if you can compute the
-scatter probability."</p>
-
-<p>The first being moved imperceptably and the heavy plastoid binding of
-the book disappeared. The thousands of pages dropped softly, caught
-at the wind like hungry sails, separated, and pulled by the fingers of
-gravity, went their disparate ways.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Here a page scuttled into a broken window of the Chrysler Building
-(read the names: Aabat, Aabbs, Aabbt).</p>
-
-<p>Here a page landed upright on the head of one of the library lions
-and sloughed softly to the ground (read the names: Looman, Loomana,
-Loomanabsky).</p>
-
-<p>Here another page crept in between the cracks of a pier on the
-riverfront, dropping gently to the caressing eddies of the water (read
-the names: Smith, Smitha, Smitj).</p>
-
-<p>And here two pages danced down into Central Park, pirouetted,
-promenaded, and finally came to rest against a propped-up piece of
-metal (read the names: Whit, Whita, Whitacomb).</p>
-
-<p>It was not until the dusty morning sun stirred up the breezes that they
-fluttered down into the shallow hole beneath, unnoticed. The writing on
-the metal, until then partially obscured by the papers, became legible:</p>
-
-<p class="ph1">HERE LIES THE BODY OF<br />
-THE LAST MAN ON EARTH&mdash;<br />
-CHARLES J. ZZYZST<br />
-GO TO HELL!</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of "Phone Me In Central Park", by James McConnell
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: "Phone Me In Central Park"
-
-Author: James McConnell
-
-Release Date: November 4, 2020 [EBook #63631]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK "PHONE ME IN CENTRAL PARK" ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- "Phone Me in Central Park"
-
- By JAMES McCONNELL
-
- There should be an epitaph for every
- man, big or little, but a really grand
- and special one for Loner Charlie.
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Planet Stories Fall 1954.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-Charles turned over on his side to look at her. She lay quietly in the
-other bed, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was blonde to
-perfection, exquisitely shaped, and the rich promise of her body was
-exposed to his view.
-
-"Why?" he thought as he looked at her. "Why did it have to happen like
-this?"
-
-The whole thing was still like a dream to him, and as yet he couldn't
-decide whether it was a good or a bad dream. A year ago she had been
-unattainable, a face to conjure with in erotic dreams, far beyond his
-ken. A year ago she had been a public idol, the most popular actress of
-the day. And he had been a nobody, full of a nobody's idle hopes and
-schemes.
-
-And now he was lying in the bed next to hers in her swank Manhattan
-apartment in the most exclusive hotel in town. The unrealness of the
-situation overwhelmed him. His mind was a picture of confused thoughts.
-Meanings and answers to his questions slithered out of his reach.
-
-"God," he said. It was not an exclamation, nor yet an expletive. It was
-a mere statement of fact.
-
-A thought teased at him. Charles looked at the woman again and decided
-that she still looked beautiful in spite of the harshness of the
-room's lighting. He touched buttons by the edge of the bed and the
-illumination quieted to a soft glow, wrapping her in a radiant halo.
-Charles smiled wanly and got up. He stood by the bed looking at her.
-
-"I could have fallen in love with you once. A year ago, perhaps, or
-longer. But not now. Not now." He turned away and walked to the window.
-"Now the world is dead. The whole world is dead."
-
-New York lay quietly below him. It was the hour of indecision when
-day has not quite made up its mind to leave and night has not yet
-attacked in force. The streetlights were already on, making geometric
-patterns through the dusk of Central Park. Some of the billboards were
-shining, their relays activated by darkness-sensitized solenoids. A
-reddish-orange pallor hung from the sky.
-
-It had been very pleasant that afternoon. She had given of herself
-freely, warmly, and Charles had accepted. But then he had known
-that she would. It was not him, it was the circumstances. Under the
-circumstances, she would have given herself to any man--
-
-"Why did it have to be her--or me? Why should it have to happen to
-anybody! Why!"
-
-_She would have given herself to any man--_
-
-His thoughts beat a rapid crescendo, activating emotions, stimulating
-sensations of angry rage. He wanted to cry, to weep angry tears of
-protest.
-
-To any man, WHO HAPPENED TO BE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH!
-
-Charles picked up a heavy book end off the table and crashed it through
-the thick pane of window glass.
-
-A gust of wind from the outside breezed through the shattered opening,
-attacking his olfactory patch with the retching smell of decaying
-flesh. Charles ignored it. Even smells had lost their customary
-meanings.
-
-He felt the rage build up inside again, tearing at his viscera. His
-stomach clenched up like an angry fist.
-
-"But I don't want to be the last man alive!" he shouted. "I don't know
-what to do! I don't know where to go, how to act! I just don't know--"
-
-A paroxysm of sobbing shook his body. Trembling, he dropped to his
-knees, his head against the cold firmness of the sill, his hands
-clutched tightly around the jagged edges of the window pane. In spite
-of the sharp pain that raced through his system, in spite of the
-bright, warm, red stream that trickled down his face, he knelt by the
-window for several minutes.
-
-"_Maybe I'm not the last!_"
-
-The thought struck him with suddenness, promisingly, edged with
-swelling comfort to fill his emptiness.
-
-Charles got up slowly, noticing for the first time that his fingers
-were badly cut. He wrapped a handkerchief around them and forgot them.
-He had to know--he had to find out.
-
- * * * * *
-
-As he turned to leave, he noticed again the woman lying in radiant
-state upon the bed. He walked to her side and leaned over, kissing her
-gently on the forehead. As he straightened up, his leg caught against
-her arm, pushing it slightly. The woman's arm slipped from its position
-and dangled from the edge of the bed like a crazy pendulum. Charles
-picked it up and folded it across her now cold breasts. He started
-to pull the sheet over her nude form, then stopped, smiling at his
-conventionality. After all, it didn't make any difference now.
-
-The phonograph was near the door. On sudden impulse he switched it
-on, turned the volume up full, and in grim jest left it playing
-Rachmaninoff's _Isle of the Dead_ on full automatic. The music haunted
-him down the hall to the elevator that he had to run himself.
-
-The lobby was littered with debris, human and otherwise. Charles
-ignored it. The street that led towards the Bureau of Vital Statistics
-was a mess of desolate carnage. Charles overlooked it. Shop fronts
-smashed, stores looted, gyro-cars wrecked, proud buildings defaced.
-
-"That was it," he said to himself. "Pride. We called this the 'Proud
-Era.' Everything was better and bigger and nicer to have. Buildings
-were taller, men were healthier, most of the problems of humanity
-seemed licked, or nearly so. It was a time of free power, each small
-unit of population, each section of town operating on perpetual,
-ever-lasting, automatic atomic piles.
-
-"We were free. We seemed, almost, to have accomplished something. The
-world was running well. No wonder we called it the 'Proud Era.' Life
-was fun, just a bowl of cherries, until...."
-
-Two years ago the animals had started dying. Strangely enough the
-rats had gone first, to anybody's notice. Sales of poison dropped,
-scientific laboratories chained to a perpetual rodent-cycle began to
-complain bitterly.
-
-Then the lovers who hunted out and haunted the lonely lanes through the
-countryside began to remark that the locusts were late that year. The
-Southern states joyously reported that mosquito control was working to
-an unprecedented degree. The largest cotton crop ever was forecast and
-rumors from Mexico had it that no one had died from scorpion bite in
-several weeks.
-
-A month later the meat animals, the birds and the household pets
-began dropping as rapidly as the flies which had dropped earlier.
-Congress was called into special session, as were all of the national
-governments around the world. The U.N. met at emergency sessions to
-cope with the situation. The president of the world-wide Society for
-the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals committed suicide.
-
-Within a year it was obvious to everyone that man was the only animal
-left on earth.
-
-The panic which had begun with the death of the animals was quieted
-somewhat by the fact that humans seemed immune to the pandemic. But the
-lakes full of dead fish caused a great stink and residents along the
-coasts began to move inland. Sales of perfumes and deodorants soared.
-
-Then just one year ago, the first human became infected with the
-strange malady. Within six months, half of the world's population was
-gone. Less than a month ago no more than a few thousand people remained
-in New York. And now....
-
-"I've got to find out," Charles told himself. He meant it, of course,
-but in a sense he was afraid--afraid that his trip to the Bureau might
-give him an answer he didn't dare listen to. "But I've got to try." He
-walked on down the bloody street.
-
-Before the plague the Bureau of Vital Statistics had been one of man's
-crowning achievements. Housed as it was in a huge metallic globe of
-a building, it contained computers which kept exact account of every
-human on earth.
-
-Compulsory registration and the classification of each individual by
-means of the discrete patterns of his brain waves had accomplished for
-man what no ordinary census could have. The machine knew who was alive,
-who was dead, and where everybody was.
-
-Once a year the Bureau issued The Index, an exact accounting of Earth's
-four billion inhabitants. Four billion names and addresses, compressed
-into microprint, a tremendous achievement even for the "Proud Era."
-In all of his life, Charles had never once glanced at The Index.
-The average person had little necessity to do so since the Bureau
-information service would answer questions free of charge at any time.
-
-Reaching the gigantic building, Charles pushed aside the body of a
-young man and walked into the main foyer. Passing behind once-guarded
-doors, he entered the giant computer room and paused in admiration.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Only once, before the plague, had he seen the interior of this room.
-But he still remembered it and he still recalled the powerful emotional
-experience it had been those many years ago.
-
-All children had to have a brain-wave recording made by the Bureau
-during the first month of their life. And again at the age of 10 each
-child returned to the Bureau for a recheck. It was for this latter
-recording that Charles had come to the Bureau some twenty-two years
-before and a friendly guard had let him peep briefly into the computer
-room. The impression of intense activity, of organized confusion, of
-mechanical wonder had remained with him the rest of his life.
-
-"So different now," he thought, surveying the room. "Now it's empty, so
-empty." The machine seemed to reflect the stillness, the very deadness
-of the world. The silence became unbearable.
-
-Charles walked to the master control panel. With newly acquired
-dexterity he switched the computer screens on and watched them glow
-to life. All around the world sensitive receiving stations pulsed to
-activity, sending out searching fingers, hunting for elusive patterns
-of neutral energy, mapping and tabulating the results.
-
-The main computer screen dominated one wall of the room. Other smaller
-screens clustered around it. On these screens could be graphed the
-population of any and every part of the globe. An illuminated counter
-immediately above it would give the numerical strength of the area
-being sampled while the screen would show population density by
-individual pinpoints of light that merged to form brightness patterns.
-
-"I'll try New York first," he said to himself, knowing that he was a
-coward, afraid to check the whole world from the start. "I'll start
-with New York and work up."
-
-Charles activated the switches that would flash a schematic map of New
-York on the screen. "There's bound to be somebody else left here. After
-all, there were at least twenty of us just a couple of days ago." And
-one of them, a beautiful woman, had invited him up to her apartment,
-not because she liked him, but because....
-
-The main screen focused itself, the patterns shifting into a
-recognizable perceptual image.
-
-"Why, it was just yesterday (or was it the day before?) that ten of
-us, at least, met here to check the figures. There were lots of us
-alive then." Including the blond young woman who had died just this
-afternoon....
-
-Charles stopped talking and forced his eyes upwards. Peripheral vision
-caught first the vague outlines of the lower part of the map. His eyes
-continued to move, slowly, reluctantly. They caught the over-all relief
-of Greater New York City--and then concentrated on the single, shining
-dot at the very heart of the map--and he understood.
-
-His eyes stabbed quickly for the counter above the screen.
-
-One.
-
-He gasped.
-
-The counter read _one_.
-
-Charles was by himself, the last person alive in all of New York City.
-
-He began to tremble violently. The silence of the room began to press
-quickly in on him. His frantic fingers searched for the computer
-controls.
-
-New York State. One.
-
-The entire United States. One.
-
-The western hemisphere, including islands.
-
-(Was that a point of light in Brazil? No. Just a ghost image).
-
-One.
-
-The Pacific area, Asia, Australia, Asia Minor, Russia and the Near
-East, Africa and then Europe.
-
-England!
-
-There was a light in England! Someone else still lived! The counter
-clicked forward.
-
-Two!
-
-His trembling stopped. He breathed again.
-
-"Of course. London was at least as populous as New York City before the
-plague. It's only logical that--"
-
-He stopped. For even as he spoke, the light winked out! The counter
-clicked again.
-
-One.
-
-Alone.
-
-Alone!
-
-Charles screamed.
-
-The bottom dropped out from under him!
-
- * * * * *
-
-Why?
-
-Such a simple question, but in those three letters lay the essence of
-human nature. Why. The drive of curiosity. Stronger, in a way, than
-the so-called "basic" drives: hunger, thirst, sex, shelter, warmth,
-companionship, elimination. Certainly more decisive in the history of
-the race. Man began to think, to differentiate himself from the other
-animals, when he first asked the question: "Why?"
-
-But thinking about "why" didn't answer the question itself, Charles
-thought. He looked around him. He was sitting on a bench in Central
-Park, alone except for a few stray corpses. But the park was fairly
-free of bodies.
-
-"You've got about ten minutes warning," he said to himself. "I guess
-that most people wanted to die inside of something--inside of anything.
-Not out in the unprotected open."
-
-The silence was like a weight hanging around his neck. Not an insect
-noise, not the chirp of a bird, not the sound of a car nor the scream
-of a plane. Not even a breeze to whisper among the leaves, he thought.
-Civilization equals life equals noise. Silence equals....
-
-Why. His mind kept returning to the question. Of all the people on
-earth, me. The last. Why me?
-
-Average, that's what he was. Height: 5'11". Weight: 165. Age: 32.
-Status: Married, once upon a time.
-
-The Norm, with no significant departures, all down the line. Church
-member, but not a good one. Could that be it? Could the most normal be
-the most perfect? Had he led the best of all possible lives? Was that
-it? Had God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, spared his life, saved
-him, singled him out because he was most nearly a saint, most nearly
-Christ-like, most nearly....
-
-Lies--His mind snapped back to reality. He half smiled. Saint? Christ?
-The Second Coming?
-
-He was no saint.
-
-Charles sighed.
-
-What about--?
-
- * * * * *
-
-Chance. That was it! The laws of probability, the bell-shaped curve,
-normal distribution, rectilinear regression. More people per square
-foot in New York than elsewhere. The first person who died was from New
-York, so the last person who gave way to the disease should come from
-here too. Spin the wheel; throw the dice; toss the coin.
-
-So simple to explain by the laws of chance. No need for any underlying
-assumptions about good and evil, no need for teleological arguments
-concerning cause and effect. Simply explain it by chance. Somebody had
-to be the last to go and that was--
-
-"No," Charles said, standing up in the quiet of the spring evening.
-"No, chance won't do it. No man can reckon with chance. The mind
-rejects such things. There must be something beyond mere accident.
-There must be!"
-
-He sighed slowly.
-
-"So now I'm a hermit, whether or not I like it," he said in derision to
-the gravel path as he walked along it. "A hermit in the midst of a city
-of millions of--No, I forgot. There aren't any more people, are there?"
-It was hard to realize, even now. "A hermit, alone--and I haven't even
-got a cave...."
-
-Charles stopped walking suddenly. No cave, he thought. No place to
-sleep out the long one, no place to rest while time came to change
-things around and make them for the better. No place to hide.
-
-And suddenly it was the most important thing in life to him to find his
-"cave."
-
-It took him almost an hour to find the proper tools, and better than
-two hours more of hard, nighttime work to get the hole dug to his
-satisfaction. It took almost three hours to find the right sort of
-casket, durable but not too heavy for one man to handle. He carted it
-out to a grassy plot close to the center of the park where the grave
-was. He let the coffin down slowly into the depression, then piled up
-loose dirt on the sloping sides of the hole so that the rain would wash
-it down over him.
-
-"I can't very well bury myself," he said. "I guess it will rain after
-I'm gone." He looked carefully down at the metallic container.
-
-Wait now. There was something wrong, something missing. It was--oh,
-yes, he caught it. It was the stone. There wasn't any stone to go at
-the head of the grave. "I'll have to fix that."
-
-A sheet of metal, bent double, served for the monument proper. A nearby
-tool shed yielded up a can of paint and a brush. By the glow of one of
-the streetlights Charles worked out the inscription.
-
-"It ought to be something impressive," he thought out loud. "Something
-fitting the occasion."
-
-What did one say on these situations? There was so little chance to
-practice up for things like this. But it ought to be good, it ought to
-be proper.
-
-"'In this now hallowed corner of the planet Earth--' No. That sounds
-too ... too...."
-
-Make it simple, he thought. And he finally wrote:
-
- HERE LIES THE BODY OF
- THE LAST MAN ON EARTH
-
-Yes. That was it. Simple. Let whoever came afterwards figure out the
-rest. Let them decide. He smiled and finished the painting.
-
-Charles was hungry. He got up and started for one of the restaurants
-near the park. Later on, when there was more time, he'd find a piece
-of granite and move it to the plot. He could spend his free time
-carving on it, copying the inscription. He would make it into a real
-shrine; maybe he would practice up a bit and try to carve a statue to
-go with the stone.
-
-Somehow, though, since things were ready and it didn't make too much
-difference, it seemed to Charles that he'd probably have a long time
-to wait. "Maybe it's just a disease, and I'm immune. I was immune to
-smallpox. The vaccination never took. That's probably it."
-
-He smiled. Strange, but now he wanted very much to go on living,
-alone or not. There were things he could do, ways to keep occupied.
-He wouldn't mind it so much. But he wanted more and more desperately
-with each passing second to retain his foothold on the tenuous path of
-physical existence.
-
-The tantalizing thought of "why" puzzled its way back into his mind.
-But it seemed less pressing now that he had almost come to the
-conclusion that he would live for a long time. Later, in a few days
-perhaps, he would think about it. In a little while he'd have plenty of
-opportunity for hunting down the answer. This seemed good to him, for
-now he thought he almost had the answer, if there were an answer. He
-thought he had seen the solution peering out at him from the recesses
-of his mind, and he didn't like the expression on its face. Better to
-forget.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Charles reached the broad boulevard. There was a large cafe just across
-from him, its front window caved in by a large truck. He stumbled and
-almost fell as he stepped from the curb.
-
-"Look at me, nervous as a cat."
-
-He was trembling noticeably as he started across the street.
-
-"I--" He started to say something, to think something. But some hidden
-part of his mind clamped down, obscuring the thought, rejecting the
-concept.
-
-The tremor turned to a shake before he reached the far curb, and the
-first burst of wild pain came as he laid his shoulder against the door
-to the restaurant. This was the way the plague began, but--His mind
-quickly repressed the idea. It couldn't be the plague. He was immune!
-
-Another burst of pulsating, shattering pain crashed through his body,
-tearing down the defenses of his mind, putting an end of his thoughts
-of immunity. Colors flared before his eyes, a persistent, irresistible
-susurrus flooded his ears.
-
-He wanted to protest, but there was no one to listen to him. He
-appealed to every divinity he knew, all the time knowing it would be
-useless. His body, out of his voluntary control, tried to run off in
-all directions at once.
-
-Charles struggled to end his body's disorganized responses, to
-channelize all his energy into one direction. His mind came back into
-action. He set up his goal; everything else seemed irrelevant: he had
-to get back to the park, to his hermit's cave, to his long, narrow
-home. He couldn't die until then.
-
-Ten minutes.
-
-He was allotted ten minutes before the end.
-
-It could have been ten years or ten seconds, for now objective time
-meant nothing to him. It was not a matter of measuring seconds and
-minutes. It was a matter of forgetting time and measuring space.
-
-He concentrated on the grave; he forced his body to become an unwilling
-machine. While he could, he walked, forcing himself on. When his legs
-gave way, he crawled. When his knees buckled, he rolled. When his
-stomach protested, he vomited. It made no difference.
-
-Charles refused to think. Machines, especially half-broken machines, do
-not think; they only work. Sweating, straining, bleeding, retching, he
-pushed himself towards his goal, trying to add one final touch of grace
-and custom to the rude irrationalness of it all.
-
-His eyes gave out a few feet from the pit. He felt his way towards it.
-Convulsions shook his body like a cat shakes a captive mouse. He humped
-his body forward between the seizures, hands outstretched, searching
-for the grave.
-
-And then he was upon it. One arm reached out for grass, and clutched
-bare space instead.
-
-He was home.
-
-He gathered energy from his final reservoirs of strength for one final
-movement that would throw him headlong into the shallow grave. He
-tensed his muscles, pulled his limbs up under him and started to roll
-into the hole.
-
-Instantly the thought struck him with paralyzing devastation. The
-answer to it all poked its face out from the recesses of his mind and
-sapped the last bit of his energy, corroding his nerves and dying
-muscles. Now he knew, and the knowing was the end of it.
-
-He collapsed at the edge of the pit. Only one arm hung loosely down
-into it, swinging senseless in the air, pointing accusingly at the
-empty coffin.
-
-The world will end, not with a bang, nor with a whimper, but with the
-last man's anguished cry at the unreasonableness of it all.
-
-Charles screamed.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The large, invisible, ovular being that hung suspended over the Empire
-State Building rested from its exertion. Soon it was approached by
-another of its kind.
-
-"It is finished?" asked the second.
-
-"Yes. Just now. I am resting."
-
-"I can feel the emptiness of it."
-
-"It was very good. Where were you?"
-
-"On the next planet out. No beauty to it at all; no system. How was
-yours?"
-
-"Beautiful," said the first. "It went according to the strictest
-semantic relationship following the purest mathematical principles.
-They made it easy for me."
-
-"Good."
-
-"Well, where to now?"
-
-"There's another system about four thoughts away. We're due there soon."
-
-"All right. Let's go."
-
-"What's that you have there?"
-
-"Oh, this?" replied the first. "It's a higher neural order compendium
-the Things here made up. It's what I used."
-
-"You can't take it with you, you know. They don't allow souvenirs."
-
-"I know."
-
-"Well?"
-
-"All right, all right. You're so good, see if you can compute the
-scatter probability."
-
-The first being moved imperceptably and the heavy plastoid binding of
-the book disappeared. The thousands of pages dropped softly, caught
-at the wind like hungry sails, separated, and pulled by the fingers of
-gravity, went their disparate ways.
-
-Here a page scuttled into a broken window of the Chrysler Building
-(read the names: Aabat, Aabbs, Aabbt).
-
-Here a page landed upright on the head of one of the library lions
-and sloughed softly to the ground (read the names: Looman, Loomana,
-Loomanabsky).
-
-Here another page crept in between the cracks of a pier on the
-riverfront, dropping gently to the caressing eddies of the water (read
-the names: Smith, Smitha, Smitj).
-
-And here two pages danced down into Central Park, pirouetted,
-promenaded, and finally came to rest against a propped-up piece of
-metal (read the names: Whit, Whita, Whitacomb).
-
-It was not until the dusty morning sun stirred up the breezes that they
-fluttered down into the shallow hole beneath, unnoticed. The writing on
-the metal, until then partially obscured by the papers, became legible:
-
- HERE LIES THE BODY OF
- THE LAST MAN ON EARTH--
- CHARLES J. ZZYZST
- GO TO HELL!
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's "Phone Me In Central Park", by James McConnell
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