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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #63526 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/63526)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook, A Woman of Yesterday, by Caroline Atwater
-Mason
-
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-
-Title: A Woman of Yesterday
-
-
-Author: Caroline Atwater Mason
-
-
-
-Release Date: October 22, 2020 [eBook #63526]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-
-***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WOMAN OF YESTERDAY***
-
-
-E-text prepared by Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed Proofreading
-Team (http://www.pgdp.net) from page images generously made available by
-Internet Archive (https://archive.org)
-
-
-
-Note: Images of the original pages are available through
- Internet Archive. See
- https://archive.org/details/womanofyesterday00masoiala
-
-
-Transcriber’s note:
-
- Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_).
-
-
-
-
-
-A WOMAN OF YESTERDAY
-
-by
-
-CAROLINE A. MASON
-
-Author of “A Minister of the World,” “The Minister of Carthage,” “A Wind
-Flower,” etc.
-
-
- “_There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none
- of them is without signification._”
-
-
-
-
-
-
-New York
-Doubleday, Page & Co.
-1900
-
-Copyright, 1900, by
-Doubleday, Page & Company
-
-Norwood Press
-J. S. Cushing & Co.—Berwick & Smith
-Norwood Mass. U.S.A.
-
-
-
-
- Our share of night to bear,
- Our share of morning,
- Our blank in bliss to fill,
- Our blank in scorning.
-
- Here a star, and there a star,
- Some lose their way.
- Here a mist, and there a mist,
- Afterwards—day!
-
- EMILY DICKINSON.
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- Contents
-
-
- Page
- BOOK I. MORNING 1
-
- BOOK II. AFTERNOON 131
-
- BOOK III. NIGHT 219
-
-
-
-
- BOOK I
- MORNING
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER I
-
- I rise and raise my claspèd hands to Thee!
- Henceforth, the darkness hath no part in me,
- Thy sacrifice this day,—
- Abiding firm, and with a freeman’s might
- Stemming the waves of passion in the fight.
- —JOHN HENRY NEWMAN.
-
-
-Where the Monk River makes its way through the mountain wall in one of
-the northern counties of Vermont, lies the small, white village of
-Haran. Although isolated and remote from the world, unknown and
-unconsidered beyond certain narrow limits, this village possessed, forty
-years ago, a local importance as being the county town, the seat also of
-a Young Ladies’ Seminary of some reputation, and an Orthodox church
-which boasted a line of ministers of exalted piety and scholarly
-attainment.
-
-The incumbent in the year 1869 was the Rev. Samuel Mallison. His
-pastorate had now extended over twenty years, and he was reverenced far
-beyond the bounds of his parish for learning and godliness.
-
-It was a June Saturday night in that year, and the hour was late. In the
-low-roofed garret of the parsonage of Haran the figure of a tall, thin
-girl with a candle in her hand moved swiftly and softly to the head of a
-steep flight of stairs, which gave access to the garret from the floor
-below. Some one had called her name.
-
-“Yes, father,” she returned, and a certain vibration of restrained
-feeling was perceptible in her voice, “it was I. I am sorry I disturbed
-you. Were you asleep?”
-
-All was dark below, and no person could be seen, but again came the
-man’s voice.
-
-“What were you doing, Anna?” was the question.
-
-“Only putting away—” here the girl faltered and stopped speaking. The
-candle in her hand shook, and threw a strange, wavering shadow of her
-shape upon the long, rough timbers of the wall. The roof was so low
-where she stood that of necessity her head was bent sharply forward. The
-outline of her shoulders was meagre and angular; her arms and body had
-neither the grace of a girl nor the curves of a woman; they were simply
-lean and long. There was something of loftiness, and even of beauty, in
-the face, but the cheeks were hollow, the lines all lacking in softness.
-The _ensemble_ was grave and strenuous for a girl of eighteen.
-
-She began again.
-
-“I was nailing up that box of books, you remember. I thought now, you
-know, I ought to do it.”
-
-Something like a groan seemed to float up from the darkness below. There
-was no other reply for a moment, and then the father’s voice said
-slowly:—
-
-“To take back later such an action is a greater violation of the moral
-nature than to avoid performing it. If it has been given you as duty, it
-is well done, but be very sure.”
-
-A smile, brooding, and even sad, altered the girl’s face as she
-reflected for a little.
-
-“I am very sure,” she said softly, but without hesitation.
-
-“Then, good night. Sleep, now. Let to-morrow take thought for the things
-of itself, Anna.”
-
-“Good night, father.” The little lingering of her voice on the last word
-gave to it the force of a term of endearment, which it would not have
-occurred to Anna Mallison at that time to add.
-
-A door closed below, presently, and the house was still.
-
-The garret extended over the entire house, and its unlighted spaces
-seemed to stretch indefinitely on all sides from the little circle of
-light shed by the one candle. The place was wholly open, save that at
-the front gable, below the highest point in the peak of the roof, a
-partition of planed but unpainted boards enclosed a small chamber. The
-narrow door of it stood open.
-
-As Anna approached this door she cast her glance to a far, dim corner,
-where in stiff order a wooden box of moderate size stood upon a chest.
-She crossed to the place, passed her hand over the lid of this box,
-satisfied herself that it was firmly and evenly fastened, and then
-gathered up some nails and a hammer, which she put away on the ledge
-formed by a square, projecting rafter. This accomplished, she came back
-and entered the chamber, which was sparely enough furnished, undressed,
-put out her candle, and sat down in the open gable window.
-
-Even if to-morrow were left to take thought for the things of itself,
-there were many yesterdays which she wished to meet to-night. And for
-that to-morrow,—she was hardly ready to leave all thought of it yet, for
-she regarded it as the most solemn and important crisis in her eighteen
-years of life. On the Sabbath, which a few hours would bring, she was to
-be received into the village church of which her father was pastor, and
-this event would signify that all her previous existence, the time past
-of her life, was a closed and finished chapter, and that henceforth all
-things were to become new. Life was to be furnished now with new
-pleasures, new pains, new motives, new mental occupations. A somewhat
-sterner and sadder life she fancied it, full of self-examination,
-sacrifice, and high endeavour, for she felt it must suffice her to have
-wrought her own will in the past, “the will of the flesh,” as her father
-and the Apostle Paul termed it; a phrase which had but a vague import to
-her own understanding, and yet exerted a powerful influence upon her
-conscience.
-
-To her mind there was an intimate connection between that now sealed box
-and “the will of the flesh.”
-
-It was when she was fifteen years old that Anna had discovered one day
-among the ranks of chests and trunks which lined the outer stretches of
-the garret, this small box of books, thickly covered with dust. At first
-she had been greatly surprised, since books were the things her father
-most earnestly desired and needed, his scanty collection being quite
-insufficient for his use, and being helped out by no village library.
-Every book in the house had borne to Anna’s imagination a potent dignity
-and value, for each one embodied a persistent need, and represented an
-almost severe economy before its possession had been achieved.
-
-And here were nearly thirty respectably bound volumes packed away for
-moth and dust alone to live upon—what could it mean? Had they been
-forgotten? Anna had devoured their titles with consuming wonder and
-curiosity, and with the ardour of the instinctive book-lover. Like
-Aurora Leigh, she had “found the secret of a garret room.”
-
-There was a volume of Ossian,—heroic, sounding words caught her eye as
-she turned the rough, yellow leaves; Landor’s “Hellenics and Idylls”; a
-copy bound in marred, brown leather of Pope’s translation of the
-“Iliad,” published, she noted, in 1806, almost fifty years before she
-was born; the poems of Byron, Shelley, Keats, and Coleridge, and of the
-earlier American poets; and a thin gilded volume of Blake’s “Songs of
-Innocence.”
-
-Besides these were worn volumes of Plato, of Greek and Latin poets, and
-German editions of Faust and Nathan der Weise. At the bottom of the box
-Anna found a faded commonplace book with her father’s name inscribed on
-the first page, and the date 1840. It contained translations of Greek
-poetry which she supposed to have been made by her father, although of
-this she was not sure. She did not read them, for she felt that she had
-no right to explore anything so personal without his permission. This
-scruple, however, did not extend to the books which filled the box,
-although Anna felt rather than understood that they had not been packed
-away together thus by accident, or left by forgetfulness. She perceived
-that they denoted some decisive experience in her father’s inner life,
-that spiritual personality of the man, which possessed to the young
-girl’s thought an august and even mysterious sacredness.
-
-Whatever these books had meant to him, and for whatever reason they had
-been exiled from his meagre library, they became to his daughter the
-most brilliant and alluring feature of a somewhat colourless girlhood,
-the charm of them enhanced by secrecy; for, with the reticence
-characteristic of the family life, Anna never alluded to her discovery.
-Neither did she ever remove these literary remains from their seclusion
-in the garret; this would have seemed an act of violence, but around the
-box which held them she formed a kind of enclosing barricade of chests
-and old furniture. The little nook thus formed she regarded as her place
-of refuge, of private and unguessed delight. A candle at night, and rays
-of light piercing the wide cracks under the eaves by day, made reading
-easy to her clear young eyes, even in the dust and dusk of the dim
-place. And so for two years, through biting cold and searing heat, Anna
-fed her mind and heart on the poetry which had ruled her father’s
-generation, unknown and unsanctioned by any one. Then one day came a
-strange event; she never recalled it without a sense of unshed tears.
-
-It was late one August afternoon, and, her day’s work faithfully
-performed, Anna had gone up to her garret room to make her simple toilet
-for the evening meal. There were a few moments to spare, and, as usual,
-she hastened to her nook, and was soon deep in Prometheus, for Shelley
-just then controlled her imagination. Her father came into the garret
-behind her, a very unwonted thing, and Anna heard the sharp, scraping
-sound as he drew out from the recesses where it had stood for years, a
-small, brown, hair-covered trunk, studded with brass nails, forming the
-initials S. D. M. It had been his own during his college days, and had
-seen but little service since. One of Anna’s brothers was to start for
-college in a day or two, and the old trunk was to serve a second
-generation in its quest for learning.
-
-Startled by the unusual noise, Anna rose in her place, and, seeing her
-father, spoke to him, whereupon he crossed the garret to where she
-stood; a small, thin man, bent a little, with a pale brown skin,
-prominent eyes, and a dome-shaped head, the hair thin on the crown even
-to baldness, but soft and silken and long enough behind the ears to show
-its tendency to curl.
-
-“What have you there, Anna?” Samuel Mallison had asked, peering with
-short-sighted, searching eyes between the bars of a battered crib which
-Anna had used as a part of her wall of partition.
-
-“Poetry, father,” she had replied, handing him the book with eager,
-innocent enthusiasm; “oh, it is very beautiful! I love it so.”
-
-Her father, looking at the book, flushed strangely, and a sudden,
-indescribable change passed over his face. Pushing aside the rubbish
-which separated him from Anna, he was immediately at her side, and in
-silence had bent over the box. He had drawn it nearer the light, and
-seemed looking on the side for some sign or inscription. There was a
-piercing eagerness in his eyes. Then Anna had noticed what had escaped
-her hitherto, the initials, S. D. M., followed by the reference, Matthew
-v. 29, and the date, 1848, written in ink on the lower corner, dim with
-dust stains and faded with the processes of time.
-
-Still her father had not spoken, but, sitting down on a chest, he had
-bent over the box, and had drawn from it one after the other the buried
-books, with a hand as gentle as if he were touching the tokens of a dead
-love. Anna had stood aside, silent and abashed, a strange tightening
-sensation in her throat. Her father seemed to have forgotten her. At
-last he had reached the old commonplace book underneath all. The flush
-on his face had deepened, and Anna had thought there were tears in his
-eyes as he glanced rapidly over its yellowed pages, with the verses in
-fine, stiff writing and faded ink. Then he had closed the book with a
-long sigh, had laid it carefully back in its place, and rising, had
-walked up and down in the low garret for many minutes in some evident
-agitation.
-
-A sense of guilt and apprehension had fallen upon Anna in her
-perplexity, but when, in the end, he had come and stood beside her,
-there was a great gentleness on his face.
-
-“And so you love those books, my child?” he had asked her briefly.
-
-“Yes, father.”
-
-“I understand. I loved them, but I gave them up—twenty years ago,
-almost. They became a snare.” He had been, then, silent a moment, while
-a peculiar conflict of thought was reflected in his face. “Yes,” he
-continued, as if convinced of something called in doubt, “they became a
-snare—to me—but for you I cannot decide. It may not be for you to drink
-of my cup. Who knows?” and with that he had turned and left her, and
-left the garret, the trunk forgotten; and Anna had laid the books back,
-soberly and with a great heartache, almost as if she were laying dust
-dear and sacred in its coffin.
-
-The matter had never been alluded to again between the father and
-daughter, but Anna knew that she was free to read, and so read on. And
-still her unalloyed happiness in her hidden treasure was gone. A
-question, a suspicion, a disturbing doubt, was now attached to it. It
-was not wrong to read this poetry, but plainly there was a more
-excellent way, a higher ground which her father had reached, and which,
-with her inborn passion for perfection, she, too, must some day attain.
-Slowly and silently this conviction matured within her.
-
-And so to-night, on the eve of her day of supreme consecration, Anna, in
-her turn, had buried out of her sight, as her father had before her, the
-poetry into which she had been pouring her young awakening life,
-silently and secretly, but with a fervour which the reader of many books
-can never know. They had spoken to her in mighty voices, these great
-spirits, so free, joyous, and mysterious in their power; but they were
-not the voice _of God_, and therefore she must listen to them no more.
-This had been a tree of life to her, but its fruit was forbidden. The
-axe must thenceforth be laid unflinchingly at the root of the tree. Such
-was the initial impulse, single, stern, and absolute, of Anna’s
-awakening religious nature.
-
-Theologians in the sixties did not talk of the immanence of God.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER II
-
- Children of men! the unseen Power whose eye
- Forever doth accompany mankind,
- Hath looked on no religion scornfully
- That man did ever find.
-
- Which has not taught weak wills how much they can?
- Which has not fall’n on the dry heart like rain?
- Which has not cried to sunk, self-weary man:
- _Thou must be born again!_
- —MATTHEW ARNOLD.
-
-
-Anna Mallison’s working theory of the human family in its moral and
-religious relations (and she recognized no other as of importance) was
-as destitute of shading as a carpenter’s house plan. Indeed, her
-hypothesis unconsciously bore a certain pictorial resemblance to the
-ground plan of a colonial house—a hall running through the middle with
-two rooms on each side! There was, straight through the centre of her
-moral universe, a wide, divisive, neutral passage in which dwelt
-uneasily all people who had not been regenerated, but who had not
-rejected salvation formally and forever. Here were such heathen and
-young children, and such thoughtless and unhardened impenitent as might
-yet listen to the divine call. At the right of this central hall,
-following Anna’s scheme of the race, were two wide rooms: the first
-bright with a subdued and varied light; the second, opening beyond the
-first, overflowing with undimmed and celestial radiance. The first was
-the Church, the place of saints on earth, the second was heaven, easily
-reached from the first. But the entrance to the first room from the
-central space was obscure, difficult, and mysterious, and few were they
-who found it.
-
-At the left of the great hall were likewise two vast connecting
-chambers. A wide door stood ever open into the first, through which a
-throng continually passed. Here were dimness and dread, lighted only by
-false and baleful gleams; and in the room beyond, the blackness of
-darkness, and that forever.
-
-This first room was the abode of those who deliberately chose the world
-and turned away from God, whose fitting end was in the awful gloom of
-that place of torment and wailing beyond.
-
-Above the right-hand division, high and lifted up, dwelt in unthinkable
-glory the God of her fathers, holy, but to her subconscious sense,
-ineffective, else why were earthquakes, murders, prisons, insanities?
-and why, indeed, those populous chambers on the left?
-
-Over them presided a rapid, hurtling Spirit, always engaged in her
-imagination in falling like lightning from heaven. He was Miltonic
-necessarily, but also much like one of Ossian’s heroes, and, on the
-whole, a more imposing force than the Creator whose power he seemed so
-successfully to have usurped.
-
-In fine, Anna believed in two gods, an infinite spirit of good, and an
-infinite spirit of evil, although she would have called herself strictly
-monotheistic.
-
-The neutral space between the realms of the Good and Evil was the
-battleground of these two mighty spirits. Here prophets, apostles, and
-preachers were calling loudly and untiringly upon all men to repent, and
-to find the entrance to the company of the redeemed. From time to time
-some swift and valorous spirit of man or angel would even make excursion
-into the dim outer room on the left, and bring thence a scorched and
-spotted soul, saved, but so as by fire. But such events were rare and
-not to be presumed upon or expected.
-
-It was all perfectly clear to Anna, the classification and grouping
-precise, exact, and satisfactory. Black was very black; and white, very
-white. She had herself until very recently belonged in the neutral hall,
-but she now believed herself to be “experiencing religion,” a fine old
-phrase, which was in effect to be pressing successfully through that
-obscure opening which led into the outer court of heaven.
-
-But just here there was a weakness in the system. Theologians and
-preachers like her father boldly declared the contrary, and asserted
-that the processes of entering the kingdom of heaven were as marked and
-unmistakable as the great general divisions of saints and sinners. The
-conversion of Saul of Tarsus was always depicted as norm and type. To be
-sure, all the processes were not in each case marked by equal
-distinctness, but the logical order was the same. In the first stage of
-the progress the sinner was said to be “under conviction” or
-“experiencing a sense of sin”; and the more bitter and overwhelming was
-this first phase, the better was the diagnosis from the professional
-point of view. At this point the penitent was to realize that, whatever
-his former life had been, even if a life of prayer and unselfish
-devotion, it had been wholly displeasing to God, and that, as tending to
-self-righteousness, such a life was peculiarly dangerous. By nature,
-there could not be in the human character any real moral excellence, or
-what was more technically known as “evangelical virtue.”
-
-All this Samuel Mallison had recently set forth in a series of sermons
-on “Human Depravity; its Degree, its Extent, its Derivation, and its
-Punishment,” which had been considered of extraordinary value and merit.
-
-But it was just here that his daughter, for all the logic and learning
-to which she was privileged to listen, stumbled and stood still. For
-weeks her spiritual development appeared to be arrested. She was silent,
-uncommunicative, and disappointing to all the older members and
-office-bearers in her father’s church.
-
-“What is the matter with Anna?” was the frequent question put to Mrs.
-Mallison in the parish. “Why don’t she _come out_?”
-
-“Oh, she is under conviction all the time,” would be the reply, with a
-somewhat decided shake of the head. “We let her alone pretty much, Mr.
-Mallison and I. It isn’t best to say too much, you know, when anybody
-has reached that point. We can see that conscience is working with her.”
-
-The questioner would depart with the belief that Anna’s conviction was
-of an unusually profound and interesting nature, like a disease with a
-complication; but if they had asked Anna herself, she might have told
-them that it was from the absence of this conviction, rather than from
-its intensity, that she was suffering. She was too honest to assume a
-virtue, or even a vice, if she had it not, and seek it as she would, a
-poignant sense of sin did not visit her. She had cast about her, and
-searched her own heart and life in a distinct embarrassment at finding
-so few clearly defined and indubitable sins of which to plead guilty;
-she had even secretly reproached her parents in her heart for having
-insisted upon an almost faultless standard of daily living, since
-conformity to their will seemed to be in itself a snare, and to place
-her at a distinct disadvantage now as compared with the flagrant sinner.
-Why had they taught her to pray, since she was now told that the prayers
-of the unregenerate were displeasing to God?
-
-She used to sit during the Sunday morning service and look at the
-neighbours in their pews around her, at their children and
-grandchildren, and at the members of her own family, seeking to find a
-person whom she was conscious of having wronged, or toward whom she
-cherished a feeling of enmity or envy. The only result of this species
-of self-examination had been to bring to her remembrance a childish,
-half-forgotten grudge against a girl with fair curls, Malvina Loveland
-by name, who had once ridiculed her at school, for wearing one of
-Lucia’s dresses made over. Anna drew this dim and fading fault
-remorselessly up to the light, and formally and forever forgave the
-unconscious “Mally.” But the longing for a deep experience of the
-“exceeding sinfulness of sin” remained unsatisfied. Like many another
-sincere and seeking soul of that day, she yearned in vain to fill out in
-its rigid precision of sequence that spiritual programme which the
-theologians prescribed.
-
-Her father gave her free access to the precious, if narrow, resources of
-his library, and she read the Edwards, both elder and younger, the elder
-Dwight, Bunyan, Baxter, and the rest, in place of her dear pagans whose
-end she now clearly foresaw. She read of the “depraved moral conduct of
-every infant who lives so long as to be capable of moral action”; she
-read that “the heart of Man, after all abatements are made for certain
-innocent and amiable characteristics, is set to do evil in a most
-affecting and dreadful manner”; and that “the darling and customary
-pleasures of men furnish an advantageous proof of the extreme depravity
-of our nature.”
-
-“Was I a very wicked little child?” she asked her mother one day.
-
-“Wicked!” cried her mother, artlessly, resenting the thought. “You were
-like a little angel, Benigna, even from the very first. So was it that I
-gave you my sainted mother’s name. Even your looks were all love; all
-saw it, and strangers too. You a bad child, indeed who never gave your
-mother a harsh word or a heartache since you were born!”
-
-Anna Benigna, for so her mother called her, bent and kissed her mother,
-a rare caress in that family.
-
-“I am glad I pleased you,” she whispered. There were tears in her eyes,
-and as she walked without further word from the room, her mother
-perceived the significance of question and reply, and pondered long.
-
-Then suddenly, as ice breaks up in the spring, and the freshet bears
-down everything before it, a moment of crisis and perception came, one
-of those moments which, albeit varying with each human experience,
-remains in each supreme.
-
-Under all her outward conformity to law and love, Anna realized now that
-there had lain for years a deep, half-conscious resentment toward the
-Creator, a cold dislike of God. How could he look upon her with approval
-while such a disposition remained in her heart? She had loved the human;
-she had not loved the divine.
-
-A sense of the absolute and eternal Good from which she was alienated,
-to which she was antagonistic, smote her with force. She now seemed to
-herself in the presence of God as a speck of dust against a dazzling
-mountain of snow—incalculably small, hatefully impure. A passion of
-contrition and surrender mastered her; vague regenerating fires tried
-her soul; and then came an exhaustion of spirit, as of a child whom its
-Father has chastened, and who is reconciled and at peace. This
-succession of emotions she was able to recall distinctly as long as she
-lived.
-
-This had been a month ago. Anna had recounted these spiritual exercises
-to her father, and he had told her that they denoted conversion, and
-advised her presenting herself to the church for admission. This she had
-done, but when he asked her, further, to what cause, if any, she
-ascribed this past sense of enmity against God, she had been silent.
-
-However, her father was fully satisfied. Like a physician with a
-well-declared fever of a certain type, he felt it to be a clear case.
-Considering his child’s blameless innocence of life, it was an
-unexpectedly satisfactory one from the theologian’s point of view.
-
-As she sat now in the warm gloom of the June night, with the dark trees
-murmuring softly under the wind, and the sky with many stars bending
-near, only the gable jutting above her head to keep its splendours off,
-Anna travelled back in thought to her childish days and found there the
-answer to her father’s question.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER III
-
- Nay, but I think the whisper crept
- Like growth through childhood. Work and play,
- Things common to the course of day,
- Awed thee with meanings unfulfill’d;
- And all through girlhood, something still’d
- Thy senses like the birth of light,
- When thou hast trimmed thy lamp at night
- Or washed thy garments in the stream.
- —DANTE GABRIEL ROSSETTI.
-
-
-Until her twelfth year Anna had not encountered the severities of
-Calvinistic theology, Samuel Mallison having intrusted the spiritual
-guidance of his children, during their earlier years, to their mother.
-Anna was the youngest child. Mrs. Mallison was of a German Moravian
-family who, coming from Pennsylvania, had settled on the eastern
-boundary of New York early in the century. She possessed the serene and
-trustful temperament of her people. The subtleties of her husband’s
-religious system were beyond her simple ken; she loved to sing the hymns
-of Zinzendorf, as she sewed and spun and ordered her household in true
-German _Hausfräulichkeit_, a sincere, devout, affectionate soul who had
-found the tone of the frigid little north New England community more
-chilling than she dared to own.
-
-From her Anna inherited her warm impulses, her abounding delight in
-nature, her susceptibility to the simplest impressions of sweet and
-common things. Gulielma Mallison understood the child when she came
-running to her one early spring morning from the parsonage garden, where
-the dark brown earth was freshly upturned and young green things were
-springing, and had tears in her eyes, veiling wonder, and a shy thrill
-of joy in all her small birdlike frame, and had asked, her hands clasped
-upon her breast:—
-
-“Why am I so happy, mother, that I can’t bear it? Why does something
-ache so here?”
-
-“It is because thou art in God’s beautiful world, little Benigna,” the
-mother had said, “and thou art God’s child. He is near thee, and thy
-heart yearns to him. Be glad in God.”
-
-In his study, through the open door, Samuel Mallison heard these words,
-and, whatever his perplexity as to their doctrinal inconsistency, he did
-not gainsay them. From his point of view at this time little Anna was
-entirely out of relation to God and out of harmony with his being, and
-it would have been impossible for her to please him. But just then an
-old question, which would not always down, had forced its way to his
-mind—What if there were a wrong link somewhere in the logic? What if the
-love of God were something greater than the schoolmen guessed?
-
-But on a certain winter night Anna’s childhood died, and the battle of
-her life began.
-
-Well she remembered every physical sensation even, accompanying that
-experience.
-
-It had been a snowy Saturday night, and she had come in from the warm
-kitchen where, in a round washing-day tub, drawn close to the hot stove,
-she had taken a merry, splashing bath, after the regular order of
-exercises for Saturday night at the parsonage. Her older sister, Lucia,
-had presided over the function, and when it was accomplished she had
-been closely wrapped in a pale straw-hued, homespun flannel sheet, over
-her nightclothes, preparatory to facing the rigours of the bitterly cold
-hall and stairs, and the little bedroom above.
-
-So she had trailed into the living-room, where the boys and her parents
-were gathered around a large table. The room was not very brightly
-lighted by the single oil lamp, but a great fire crackled loudly in the
-stove, and the rattle of the hard snowflakes on the window panes and the
-whistling of the wind outside gave keen emphasis to the sense of
-cheerful safety and comfort.
-
-Warm and languid from the heat of her bath, Anna had sat down on a low
-seat and dropped her head on her mother’s knees, feeling an
-indescribable sensation of happy lassitude and physical well-being. She
-recalled how interested she had been in the shrivelled whiteness of her
-own long, little fingers, and how soft and woolly that dear old blanket
-had felt; it was on her bed now, with her mother’s maiden name worked in
-cross-stitch in one corner, in pale pink crewel.
-
-They had been waiting for her, to proceed with the evening devotions,
-and her father had at once begun to read a part of a sermon from one of
-the standard divines who, though somewhat out of fashion in the centres
-of progressive thought, were still held infallible in these remoter
-regions.
-
-The subject was “The Benevolence of God in Inflicting Punishment,” from
-a work entitled “The Effects of the Fall.”
-
-Anna did not listen very closely for a time, but presently her attention
-was caught and held. The writer was seeking to prove that “the damnation
-of a large part of the human race directly subserved the general
-happiness of mankind and the glory of God.” That even if he had saved
-none of the sons of men, but “had left them to the endless torment they
-had so justly deserved,” and “had glorified himself in their eternal
-ruin, they would have had no cause to complain.” That the best of what
-were illusively known as “good works,” were “no more than splendid
-sins.” That no doubt, if any heathen could be found who was truly
-virtuous and holy, who loved God in the strictly evangelical sense, as
-infinitely great, wise, and holy, and who kept all his perfect law
-without infraction, such heathen might be saved. But as there was no
-evidence that any such heathen ever had existed, or ever could exist,
-there was no reason to believe that any had been saved. As the heathen
-still formed a vast proportion of the population of the globe, and as
-only a small fraction of those nations commonly known as Christian had
-actually and experimentally come under the law of grace, the only
-conclusion possible was, that a vast proportion of the human family
-throughout all ages and down to the present time “were serving the
-purposes of God’s infinite wisdom and benevolence in their creation in
-endless misery or torment.”
-
-The triumphant logic of the old divine, which Mrs. Mallison secretly
-found discomfiting but accepted calmly enough considering its terrific
-import, and which her husband read with the sad and solemn pathos of one
-to whom it was a mournful verity, had a curious effect upon little Anna.
-For the first time the real meaning of familiar words like these smote
-full and sharp upon her mind, and in the physical lassitude of the
-moment acted like a bodily injury upon her. She grew whiter and whiter,
-and she touched and grasped the soft blanket about her with powerless
-fingers, to convince herself that she could feel and find what was
-familiar, faintness being an absolutely unknown sensation.
-
-Suddenly, with an imperious impulse, and a singular effect of childish
-courage which dared to do an unheard-of thing, she rose and said with
-perfect apparent composure, breaking in upon the reading:—
-
-“I am too tired to stay here any longer, I am going upstairs now,” and
-so left the room. Her mother had watched the slight figure in its close
-drapery with anxious eyes until the door closed upon her, but had not
-thought of following. This reading was a solemn function not to be
-lightly interrupted.
-
-Upstairs, Anna had betaken herself hastily to bed, and lay there,
-motionless, somewhat alarmed at her own revolutionary action, and with
-little to say when questioned by her mother presently.
-
-But when the house was still, and the night advancing to its mid depth
-of darkness, the child, still lying with wide, wakeful eyes, cried
-silently with a piteous consciousness of desolation and sorrow. A sense
-of the bitterness of a world where millions of helpless human spirits
-were shut up to endless agony had overwhelmed her, and a spirit of
-rebellion against God who willed it so for his own glory had taken
-intense possession of her thought.
-
-In the passion of her childish resentment and grief and worn by the
-unwonted wakefulness, her breath came in long, quivering sobs which were
-heard in the next room, and brought her father to her side.
-
-She could answer nothing to his questions, but he found her hands cold,
-and her pulse weak and rapid.
-
-“You did not eat your supper to-night, little Anna,” he said gently,
-remembering her faint appetite for the frugal fare of the parsonage
-table.
-
-Anna only sobbed more convulsively. She had expected severity and blame,
-feeling verily guilty in spirit.
-
-Samuel Mallison said nothing more, but Anna, wondering, heard him go
-downstairs, heard doors open and shut, and then silence fell again. Ten
-minutes later her father stood again by the bedside in the icy chill of
-the winter midnight in the unwarmed chamber, and he had brought a bowl
-of broth, hot and smoking, bread, too, and, most unwonted pampering, a
-piece of the rare poundcake, kept for company and never given to
-children except on high holidays.
-
-Neither of them spoke, but Samuel Mallison, for all the cold, sat on the
-bed’s edge while Anna ate and drank, drawing her frail little body to
-rest against his own.
-
-The broth was salted for Anna by her tears, and the long-drawn sobs,
-coming at intervals, half choked her as she ate, but she was comforted
-at last and fortified against the woe of the world, and she pressed her
-cheek against her father’s arm with a sense of the infinite sweetness of
-fatherhood warm at her heart. As she finished the last crumb of cake,
-she thought:—
-
-“If only God had been kind like my father! I was naughty, and that only
-makes him good to me and pitiful.” But she said nothing, only looked
-with a world of wondering gratefulness in her large innocent eyes up
-into her father’s face, finding some perplexity that cake and broth
-should reconcile her to the everlasting torment of the majority of
-mankind, but wisely concluding to make the best of it since such seemed
-to be the effect, and, as it was now undoubtedly high time, to go to
-sleep.
-
-Finding her bright and well next morning, the Mallisons, father and
-mother, had thought little more of that Saturday night revolt, which
-they, indeed, had not known as such; but, as she looked back over her
-years to-night, in her gable window, Anna perceived that from that time
-there had always been in the secret place of her heart a sense of enmity
-against a God who was not kind like her father. To-night she knew
-herself, at last, reconciled; faith had triumphed and declared that even
-the darkest decree of God’s great will must be right, since he was the
-absolutely Good. But her heart yearned with mighty yearning for the
-subjects of his just wrath, and as she knelt in the darkness and silence
-she gave herself with simple, unreserved sincerity to the service of the
-lost among men.
-
-Rising from her knees, Anna felt a strange glow and exaltation of
-spirit. In her own personal life sin had been met and vanquished.
-Tremendous apostolic assertions buoyed her soul upward like strong
-wings: “free from the law of sin and of death,” “passed from death unto
-life,” “All things are yours, and ye are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s.”
-Thus she felt her finite linked to the infinite. Her spirit was suffused
-with thrilling and unspeakable joy; God was closer than breathing and
-nearer than hands and feet.
-
-But, as she stood rapt and absorbed, there came up through the hush of
-the night from the dim street below a strange sound, and she was caught
-back by it, and listened painfully. It was a little child crying
-piteously.
-
-Peering down through the clustering branches, below her window, Anna
-could discern by the dim light of the stars the shape of a woman,
-forlorn and spiritless, passing silently along the shadowed way. Behind
-her followed the crying child, with weary little feet stumbling at every
-stone. The woman carried something in her arms, hidden by an apron; she
-turned and looked at the child, and shook her head, but did not speak.
-
-This woman, who moved abroad only at night, was the village outcast, and
-the child was her child, born in sin.
-
-Vague and uncomprehended to Anna’s mind was the abyss into which this
-woman had fallen, but she felt it to be black and bottomless, and to
-place an everlasting separation between her and the good. She drew back
-from the window, a sharp pain, made of pity and horror, at her heart,
-sin embodied thus confronting her. She felt as Sir Launfal felt when he
-saw the leper.
-
-Lying down to rest at last, Anna slept, in spite of spiritual ecstasies
-and sufferings, the sound sleep of a healthy girl who is fortunate
-enough to forget the ultimate destinies of human souls, her own with the
-rest, for certain favoured hours.
-
-It was long before her sleep was disturbed by dreams, but an hour before
-sunrise she awoke with a pervading sense of exquisite happiness brought
-over with her from a dream just dreamed. It was a still dream of seeing,
-not of doing. She had seen the form of a man of heroic aspect, old
-rather than young, with a grey head, leonine and majestic, strong stern
-features, a glance mild and yet searching and subduing; a man imperial
-and lofty, and above his fellows, but whether as king or saint or
-soldier she could not guess. But here was made visible a power, a
-freedom, and a greatness for which her own nature, she felt in a swift
-flash of self-revelation, passionately cried out, which it had nowhere
-found, and to which it bowed in a curious delight hitherto unknown. This
-only happened: this mysterious personality, more than human, she
-thought, if less than divine, had looked kindly upon her, in her weak,
-childish abasement, and had shed into her eyes, and so into her heart,
-the impossible, inexplicable happiness with which she awoke. She did not
-sleep again. This waking consciousness enamoured her.
-
-What did it mean? Anna asked herself all day. Was it a dream sent from
-God at this solemn hour of dedication? If so, what did it prefigure?
-Even at the sacramental feast, her first communion, that majestic head,
-with the controlling sweetness of the eyes upon her, came before her
-vision, and made her heart beat fast.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IV
-
- The fiend that man harries
- Is love of the Best.
- —_The Sphynx_, R. W. EMERSON.
-
-
-Malvina Loveland, the girl whom Anna had found solace in forgiving for
-her childish offence, had “come out,” as Haran people said, at the same
-time with Anna.
-
-This fact, and the compunction in Anna’s heart toward her early foe, had
-drawn the two girls together, and they became friends. They talked of
-the interests of the cause of religion, and read biographies together,
-or rather, Anna read aloud while her friend diligently produced lace
-work with a small shuttle, or hemstitched linen ruffles; but both cared
-less for these several occupations than for the sense of mingling their
-young, unfolding perceptions.
-
-Anna had need of a friend; Lucia, her sister, was many years older, and
-had long ago married a farmer, and departed deeper into the hills, where
-she worked with the immoderate industry of New England women, bore many
-children, and lived a life into which Anna did not enter deeply. The
-Mallison boys were away from home, studying and working, and the
-parsonage was a silent place. Anna adored her father with the restrained
-ardour of her kind, and loved her mother with a great tenderness, but
-she was actively intimate with neither, and thus greatly alone.
-
-Mally was noticeably pretty, and Anna thought her beauty angelic. She
-was capable, clever, quick, and impulsive, one of the women who can do
-anything they see done, strongly imitative and impressionable. She
-developed rapidly, while Anna matured slowly. Anna had nobleness, Mally
-had facility. Anna, beside Mally, looked uncomfortably tall, with her
-angular thinness and her dark, grave face. She had masses of lustreless
-brown hair, a clear _brune_ skin like her father, and, like him,
-singularly fine hands. Her eyes were her mother’s, and her only
-beauty,—golden brown, and of limpid clearness.
-
-To both these girls their religion was a system of prohibition and of an
-abnormal development of conscience. The negative, not the positive, side
-was uppermost to them. “Thou shalt not” was written over every device
-and desire which did not minister directly to the furtherance of the
-local conception of religion. Both were eager to grasp the positive
-side, to convert the world, to see Satan chained, and themselves to
-contribute to this desirable consummation; but they were doubtful how to
-begin. Both were ardent controversialists after the manner of their day,
-and Anna read systematic theology with her father with extraordinary
-relish.
-
-They waited and wondered, each longing for her destiny to disclose
-itself decisively. But with Anna a hidden life budded beneath the
-surface, unknown even to Mally. The romantic and poetic impulses of her
-nature, no longer directly nourished by the poets whom she had put away
-from her by force, stirred in her heart, and fed themselves, in silence,
-on the life of nature, and on the delicate, evanescent imaginings of her
-awakening womanhood.
-
-Below the surface of her conscious thoughts a strange inarticulate
-passion for power and freedom beat and throbbed, and would not be
-stilled, despite her quiet, conscientious conformity to the narrow
-conditions of the world about her. She did not know what freedom was,
-but she felt that she was not free; neither did she clearly know what
-the power meant for which she longed, but she felt the absence of it in
-every one she had ever met. It was mysterious, indefinable—once only had
-she encountered it, and that was in a dream.
-
-Thus a nature simple and single, with all its forces apparently bent one
-way, and with few avenues, or none, by which to import conflicting
-influences, was, in fact, already incipiently subject to the
-complexities of instinct, of motive, and desire, which weave the
-bewildering network of human experience.
-
-When Anna was twenty, an event occurred of much importance in its
-bearing on her life. Under the direction of an old friend of Samuel
-Mallison, the Rev. Dr. Durham of Boston, a general secretary for Foreign
-Missions, a series of meetings was held in Haran for the promotion of an
-interest in this cause. Dr. Durham was entertained, during the time of
-the convention, at the parsonage; he was a genial and kindly man, and
-became in his way an especial friend of Anna, in whom he manifested a
-marked interest.
-
-From the country round about, during the week, men and women thronged to
-Haran; and at an evening meeting to be addressed by a woman who had been
-a missionary in India, the white meeting-house was filled. Many in the
-congregation had never seen a missionary; many more had never heard a
-woman speak in public. Curiosity ran high.
-
-The speaker was a little sallow woman, in a plain and unbecoming grey
-gown, who stepped timidly to the edge of the platform, laying a small
-hand which trembled visibly on the cold mahogany pulpit, as if to
-conciliate it for her intrusion and to crave its support.
-
-She spoke in a shrill crescendo, without the graces or arts of a skilled
-speaker, and she made no appeal to the emotions of the hearers. It was
-rather a dry and unimaginative account of the work done at an obscure
-mountain station, with statistics of no great impressiveness, and
-careful attention to accuracy of detail. But she had the advantage of
-sowing her seed on virgin soil. It was not important at that day and to
-those isolated and simple-minded people that the missionary should speak
-with enticing words, or attempt dramatic effect. She was herself there
-before them in flesh and blood, and no great time before she had been on
-heathen ground, had come into actual combat, face to face, with wild,
-savage men and strange, outlandish women, who knew not God, and who
-veritably and visibly bowed down to wood and stone.
-
-For the hour, that little woman of weak bodily presence and commonplace
-intellect became the incarnation of Christianity seeking a lost world,
-and she herself was far greater to their thought than anything she could
-have said.
-
-At the end of her report, for it was that rather than appeal or address,
-she told the story of a high-caste Hindu woman to whom she had sought to
-give the gospel message. This woman had turned upon her with grave
-wonder and had asked, “How long have you known this? about this Jesus?”
-
-“Oh, for many years, all my life in fact.”
-
-“Then,” said the woman, solemnly, “why did you not come to tell us
-before?”
-
-Without comment or enlargement, having told of this occurrence, the
-speaker turned and walked shyly from the platform, leaving an unusual
-hush in the assembly, as if an event, a result of some sort, were waited
-for.
-
-Toward the end of the church, where she was seated with her mother, Anna
-Mallison rose in her place, made her way out into the middle aisle, and
-then, with her head a little bent, but her face neither pale nor
-agitated, walked quietly to the foot of the platform. Samuel Mallison,
-who was seated with Dr. Durham behind the pulpit, rose and stood, just
-above, as if to receive her, looking down with solemn eyes. Some one who
-saw Anna’s face said that, as she looked up into that of her father thus
-bent above her, the smile which suddenly illuminated it was beyond
-earthly beauty. It was a look in which two human spirits, and those
-father and child, purged as far as might be of earthliness, met in
-angelic interchange, pure and high.
-
-Turning about, thus facing the great congregation, Anna, who had never
-before spoken in a public gathering of any sort, however small, said in
-a voice which was clear and distinct, though not loud:—
-
-“I wish to offer myself to this society to go, if they will send me, to
-some heathen people, to tell them that Christ has died to save them. I
-am ready to go at once, if it is thought best.”
-
-The gravity and simplicity, and absence of self-consciousness, of the
-girl’s words and bearing, and the profound sympathy of the people who
-saw and heard her, combined to produce an overpowering impression. As
-the meeting broke up, women were weeping all over the house, and sturdy
-unemotional men were deeply moved.
-
-Anna, seeing that many would surround her and speak their sympathy or
-give their praise, which she dreaded and feared to hear, turned with
-swift steps to the door nearest her, and so escaped into the outer
-darkness of the night, no one following.
-
-But, as she hurried with light steps across the village green and
-reached the parsonage gate, she found Mally waiting to waylay her.
-
-“Oh, Anna,” she cried, and her tears flowed fast, “you will go away from
-me, from all of us! How can you put this great distance between us?”
-
-“How can I do anything else, Mally?” Anna answered softly. “It is what I
-have been waiting for; I think I was never truly happy until to-night.
-All my life before I have been unsatisfied, and something has ached and
-hurt whenever I stopped to feel it.”
-
-“And to-night you are really happy?” cried her friend, half enviously,
-and yet by no means drawn to devote herself to the medley of crocodiles,
-dark-skinned babies, and cars of Juggernaut, which signified India to
-her mind.
-
-“Oh, at last!” Anna exclaimed, and with a long breath of relief. “Will
-it not bring peace, Mally, to know that I am surely doing His will? It
-will be like pure sunshine after living in a fog these past years.”
-
-“Then weren’t you really happy when you were converted and joined the
-church?” asked Mally, naïvely.
-
-“Partly. But just to be happy because you are saved yourself—why, it
-does not last. And you know, dear, we could never find anybody’s soul to
-work for here in Haran; at least, we didn’t know how,” and Anna became
-silent, the vision of one solitary outcast coming before her, with whom
-she had been forbidden even to speak. But Mally refused to be comforted
-thus, and went her way with many tears.
-
-There were more tears for Anna to encounter that night, for her mother
-came home broken-hearted. The Lord had answered her husband’s daily
-prayer, and had graciously chosen one of their own family to preach the
-gospel to the heathen, and the answered prayer was more than the loving
-soul could sustain. Like Jacob, she could get no farther than the wail,
-“If I am bereaved, I am bereaved.”
-
-Not so Samuel Mallison. Too long had he schooled himself to the
-sacrifice of his dearest human and earthly desires. The long discipline
-of his life stood him now in good stead. Coming into the room where Anna
-was vainly seeking to comfort her mother, he laid his hands in blessing
-on her head, and with a look upward which stilled the weeping woman, he
-pronounced the ancient words:—
-
- “Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy
- word;
- For mine eyes have seen thy salvation.”
-
-And yet Anna was the very apple of his eye. Of such fibre was the
-altruism of that rugged first growth.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER V
-
- Life! life! thou sea-fugue, writ from east to west,
- Love, Love alone can pore
- On thy dissolving score
- Of harsh half-phrasings,
- Blotted ere writ,
- And double erasings
- Of chords most fit.
- —SIDNEY LANIER.
-
-
-From the time of the missionary meeting and the announcement of his
-daughter’s determination to devote herself to the service of Christ in a
-heathen land, Samuel Mallison’s health declined rapidly. His _Nunc
-Dimittis_ was of literal import, and prophetic.
-
-Whether the death which all who loved him saw that he was soon to
-accomplish could be called dying of heart-break or dying of fulfilled
-desire, would have been hard to determine. Heart and flesh cried out
-against the separation from his best-beloved child, while the triumphant
-spirit blessed God for answered prayer, and for the fruition in that
-cherished life of his child of hopes and aspirations which had been but
-scantily fulfilled in his own.
-
-“I have not been a successful man, Anna,” he said to her one autumn day
-when they were alone in his study. He sat erect in his straight chair,
-but with an unmistakable languor in every line of face and frame, and
-with a feverish brightness in his prominent dark eyes.
-
-Anna laid her hand upon his with endless gentleness.
-
-“No man in Haran is so beloved, father. No man has done so much good.”
-
-“Perhaps,” he answered sadly, “and I am satisfied. It is the will of
-God. Anna, I have seemed, perhaps, cold and silent, and without feeling
-as you have seen me; but the fire within has burned unceasingly, and I
-am consumed.”
-
-The last words were spoken lower and with an unconscious pathos which
-moved Anna unspeakably.
-
-“I do not understand, father dear, not fully. Can you tell me all? I
-love you so.”
-
-They were the simplest words of the most natural affection, and yet it
-was the first time in her life that Anna had spoken after this sort to
-her father.
-
-“My girl,” he said simply, taking her hand within his own. Then, after a
-pause, he continued speaking.
-
-“It is after this manner that life has gone with me. I believe I ought
-to retrace my past with you—for perhaps there may be light upon your
-path, if you know all. When I entered the ministry it was with sincerely
-right purpose; all the influences of my life pointed me in that
-direction, but it was, perhaps, more as an intellectual and congenial
-profession than from deeper reasons. I began my ministry, in 1841, in
-Boston. I was considered to have certain gifts which were valued in that
-day, and all went well, on the surface. But it was the period of a
-literary awakening in our nation, of which Boston was the centre of
-influence. An American literature was just becoming a visible reality,
-and a new impulse was at work and stirring everywhere. Men of original
-force were suddenly multiplied before us, and the contagion of
-intellectual ambition was felt in an altogether new degree. To me it
-became all-controlling. Transcendental philosophy, Platonism, and
-classic learning acquired for me a supreme attraction, and I gave myself
-more and more to the study of them, and to the translation of Greek
-poetry. This had no unfavourable effect upon my preaching in the opinion
-of my congregation, rather the reverse, and I may say without vanity
-that I had reached comparatively early a certain eminence to which I was
-by no means indifferent.”
-
-Samuel Mallison paused a moment, while Anna silently reflected that this
-narrative would in the end explain the buried books of her dear old
-garret delight.
-
-“Learning was young among us in those days, Anna,” Samuel Mallison began
-again humbly, after a little space, “else this would not have happened;
-in the year 1848 I received a call to a professorship of the Greek
-language and literature in Harvard College.”
-
-Anna felt her own young blood rush to her cheeks in pride and wonder and
-amazement. To her little-village simplicity and scanty experience this
-seemed a surpassing distinction, and one which placed her father among
-the great men of the earth.
-
-“The day after the mind of the authorities had been made known to me,
-was the day of my life which I remember best,” Samuel Mallison
-continued.
-
-“I went to my study that morning with a programme of what would take
-place somewhat definitely before my mind. I was about to seek, humbly
-and devoutly, an interview with God, in which I would lay before him
-this new and momentous opening in my life, and seek to have his will for
-me made clear. What this will would be, or what I should take it to be,
-was, just below the surface of my mind, a foregone conclusion. In fact,
-my letter of acceptance was substantially framed in my mind already. I
-had never been favoured with voices and visions and revelations clear
-and conclusive in my religious experience, and I foresaw a decision
-based upon general reasonableness and preference, touched with a
-pleasant sense of the divine favour, which might naturally be expected
-to rest upon so congenial a course, and one so worthily justified by
-precedent. I read, as a preparatory exercise, with perfect satisfaction,
-the twelfth chapter of John’s Gospel, then closed my Bible and knelt in
-prayer. This was exactly as I had foreseen—an orderly series of
-exercises befitting my position. But, oh; how mechanical, how cold, how
-barren! With such perfunctory practices I could think to take leave of
-the sacred calling of the ministry, so dead had my spirit grown to the
-claims of the blessed gospel, and its mission of salvation to a lost and
-perishing world!
-
-“I knelt and thought to pray, but, like the king in ‘Hamlet’, my words
-flew up, my thoughts remained below. Between me and Him whom I would
-have approached, interposed, like a palpable barrier, a solemn
-reiterated echo of words just read: ‘Verily, verily, I say unto you,
-except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone;
-but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life
-shall lose it.’
-
-“I rose from my knees and walked up and down the room in great anxiety
-of spirit. This new work which I thought to undertake was educational,
-ennobling, necessary; in no way contrary to sound doctrine, in no way a
-betrayal of sacred responsibility; I was fitted for it by nature, by
-tastes, and attainments. Why was it opened to me? To mock me? to tempt?
-I could not believe it, I had welcomed it as coming in the providence of
-God.
-
-“But my heart-searching grew swift and deep, and it was given me to see
-the absoluteness, the finality, of the vows which I had assumed, from
-which I straightway realized that no argument of those with which I was
-equipped sufficed to release me. Feebly and imperfectly, yet sensibly, I
-began to grasp the import of what the apostle calls the fellowship of
-Christ’s sufferings, the being made conformable unto his death. Oh, the
-depth of the mystery hid in that saying! All these years I have sounded
-it—Anna, all these years I have died, in my own natural life—I have
-striven to give all I had to give, but the ‘much fruit’—where has it
-been?”
-
-An expression of pain, hardly less than agony, was impressed upon Samuel
-Mallison’s face, and Anna hid her eyes, finding it too bitter to bear to
-see him suffer thus.
-
-“I put it all away from me, then and there. Nothing was possible but for
-me to decline the invitation which had been given, you can see. Further,
-I saw that my studies had been my snare. My love of poetry and
-philosophy and learning, the prominence of my pulpit, the social and
-intellectual affinities I had formed, all had contributed to my
-spiritual deadness and decline. It was then that I put away in that box,
-now upstairs, the books which had particularly ministered to the tastes
-which had led me so far from the true conception of my life work. Never
-since that day have I allowed myself to follow the instinct for poetic
-expression. That longing had to be cut out, even if some life-blood
-flowed in the doing it. Henceforth, I wished to know nothing but Christ,
-and him—Anna, do not fail to grasp this—him, not triumphant, but
-_crucified_. The offence of the cross to the natural spirit, how hardly
-can it be overcome! No child’s play, no easy and harmonious growth in
-grace, has it been to me, but a conflict all the way. Your mother has a
-different type of religious life. Be thankful if her temperament shall
-prove to be yours.
-
-“That is the story. I left my church not very long after and sought this
-rugged, remote section, because it offered hard work and a needy field,
-which some men shunned. Some years before I had met your mother, and we
-were married. Twenty years of my life and its best activity have been
-spent here in Haran. Those first few years and what made life to me in
-them I have looked upon as a false start. From that day, I sought only
-this one gift: an especial enduement of the Holy Spirit to give me power
-with men unto salvation. I desired this gift supremely, but I have not
-received it in any signal manner. My ministry has not been wholly
-unfruitful, but it has been lacking in the results for which I hoped; I
-have not had power with God and men, as have some of my more favoured
-brethren. The end is near now, very near, but I come with almost empty
-hands and a humbled, contrite heart to meet my Judge. But, my child,
-whatever the conflicts of the past years, the last thing which I could
-wish for to-day would be to have reversed that early decision. My life,
-from the merely human point of view, might, perhaps, on the line of
-intellectual effort have been counted successful, while as a minister of
-Christ it has not been so to any marked degree: but what is success, and
-what failure, when the things of time fade before our eyes?”
-
-Samuel Mallison’s head drooped upon one supporting hand, and an
-expression of solemn musing rested on his face, while Anna’s tears
-flowed fast.
-
-“Just to do our own little day’s work faithfully, not knowing what its
-part may be in the great whole, just to hold fast to the word of God and
-the testimony of Jesus, and, having begun the race, to continue to the
-end—is not this enough?”
-
-There was silence between them for some moments, and then the father
-said, making a sign to Anna to rise:—
-
-“I want you to leave me now, dear child. I must rest. The one earthly
-hope to which I still cling is that to you may be given the reward of
-‘much fruit,’ which I have failed to win. Remember this, if all the
-other teaching I have given you shall be forgotten in the years which
-are to try you, of what stuff you are made: _with greatness we have
-nothing at all to do; faithfulness only is our part_.”
-
-Anna Mallison listened to these words with reverent sympathy and loving
-response, but the deeper meaning of them did not reveal itself to her,
-her time for perception being not yet fully come.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VI
-
- O Joy, hast thou a shape?
- Hast thou a breath?
- How fillest thou the soundless air?
- Tell me the pillars of thy house!
- What rest they on? Do they escape
- The victory of Death?
- —H. H.
-
-
-In the largest theatre of the New England city of Springfield on a night
-in December, an immense assembly of people was gathered. Every gallery
-was crowded to its utmost, and the house, from floor to roof, was a
-dense mass of human beings. On the stage were musical instruments, but
-the customary scenery was withdrawn, save that the background showed a
-Neapolitan villa situated on the slope of a Swiss mountain, at the base
-of which an ultramarine ocean heaved stormily. Against the incongruity
-of this unstable structure were massed several hundred men and women,
-and before them a musical leader, baton in hand. At an appointed signal
-the great chorus stood, and with them, at the gesture of a man, himself
-seated near the centre of the foreground of the stage, the whole
-audience, with a rushing sound like the sea or the wind, rose also.
-
-Then there was sung by the chorus, with trained perfection, an old hymn,
-the words of which, as well as the melody, were of quaint and almost
-childish simplicity:—
-
- “Alas, and did my Saviour bleed?
- And did my Sovereign die?
- Would he devote that sacred head
- For such a worm as I?
- Was it for crimes that I had done
- He groaned upon the tree?
- Amazing pity, grace unknown,
- And love beyond degree.”
-
-With a swift motion of his baton the leader indicated that the whole
-assembly was to join in singing the refrain, in lowered voices. There
-followed in a deep murmur of a pathos quite indescribable:—
-
- “Remember me, remember me,
- Oh, Lord, remember me!
- And when thou sittest on thy throne
- Dear Lord, remember me.”
-
-At the close of this hymn many people in all parts of the house were in
-tears, but the hush of motionless silence following was complete, and
-the eyes of all were riveted upon that central figure on the stage, the
-man who now rose and, advancing to the front, began to address them.
-
-This man was of majestic personal presence and his speech was with
-marked power. Thinly veiled under a manner of unusual restraint and
-quietness lay a genius for emotional appeal and for persuasion. There
-was in his manner and speech an utter absence of excitability, and yet a
-quality which excited; a capacity for impassioned eloquence, apparently
-controlled and held back by the speaker’s will. The congregation
-listened with absorbed attention.
-
-At the close of the address, which was designed to move all the
-impenitent or irresolute persons present to an immediate confession of
-their need of a Saviour, the speaker asked those of this class who were
-present and were so inclined to advance and take certain seats, directly
-in front of the stage, which had been reserved for them.
-
-A close observer would have been interested in watching the man as this
-part of the evening’s work was ushered in. The restrained intensity of
-his manner was noticeably augmented; his eyes moved slowly and
-searchingly from one part of the house to another with a gaze which no
-trifler and no awakened soul might escape. The expression of his face
-was sternly solemn, even tragical, as of one undergoing an actual
-travail of spirit. He stood absolutely motionless save for a single and
-significant gesture of his right hand, an upward gesture made with
-peculiar slowness and with dramatic effect. It was at once entreating,
-subduing, and commanding.
-
-At the first moment no person stirred; but presently, as if drawn by an
-irresistible magnetism, a stream of men and women could be seen
-advancing down the various aisles, with fixed look, pallid faces, and
-sometimes with tears. Upon such the speaker bent a look of gentleness
-and encouragement, in which his features would be momentarily relaxed,
-only to resume the profound solemnity already spoken of, as he lifted
-his eyes again to the unmoved masses still confronting him.
-
-The chorus, without rising, now chanted softly the words of vivid
-appeal:—
-
- “Why not to-night? Why not to-night?
- Thou wouldst be saved, why not to-night?”
-
-Many moments passed. The company of seekers now numbered a hundred.
-Beneath the absolute outward restraint which held all, an inner
-excitement grew steadily in intensity, and the subtle contagion of “the
-crowd” assumed an irresistible sway. It might have become alarming. It
-possessed elements of terror just below the surface. A climax was
-reached when a man of gigantic frame and brutalized features, in the
-upper gallery, stepped forward, and with a gesture rude and almost wild,
-flung out his arms toward the evangelist, and called through the silence
-of the place:—
-
-“I give in—you knew I’d have to. Yes, I’m comin’.” And then, turning,
-clattered down the bare gallery stairs, only to reappear presently
-below, with his coarse head bent and big tears flowing down his purple
-cheeks.
-
-Gradually the stream of seekers abated, and the aisles became empty.
-Thus far no word of appeal or warning had been added to the sermon; save
-for the restrained monotony of the music this extraordinary scene had
-taken place in complete silence.
-
-Then the speaker’s voice was heard again, and in it was a strange
-emotional quality which had been previously unnoticed, and before which
-the pride and will of many melted within them.
-
-“The people of this company are dismissed to their homes,” he said, in
-gentle, measured tones; “my work now is for those who have feared God
-rather than men. They will remain. Let all others go without unnecessary
-delay, or stopping for speech with one another. The Spirit is here.”
-
-The benediction followed, but as they broke up, scores hitherto
-irresolute turned and joined the company of seekers in the front of the
-house.
-
-When the speaker, the house being otherwise emptied, came down to the
-anxious and disquieted little company waiting for his guidance, he stood
-before them in silence for a little space, and then, turning to a group
-of clergymen who were associated with him, he said:—
-
-“Pardon me, but I believe I will leave these friends in your hands,
-brethren. I wish to return immediately to my lodging,” and saying
-nothing further in explanation or apology, he departed, with evident
-haste.
-
-When he reached the lobby of the theatre he found three men watching who
-hastened toward him, their spokesman, with outstretched hand,
-introducing himself and his companions and adding, with eager
-cordiality:—
-
-“This is so much better than we expected. We were prepared to wait for
-you some time.”
-
-The man received the greeting gravely, and, indeed, silently.
-
-“Will you come with us now to our hotel? We wish to confer with you. We
-have come from New York for that purpose.”
-
-“Will you not let me know what you wish here, at once?” was the
-rejoinder. “I am in some haste.”
-
-“Certainly, certainly, if you prefer it,” said the other, cheerfully,
-hiding a shade of discomfiture. Then, with a change to serious emphasis,
-he proceeded: “We want you to undertake a work in New York this winter,
-as soon as possible, in fact. A large group of prominent churches is
-ready to unite in the movement, and unlimited resources will be placed
-at your disposal. Your own compensation, pardon me for alluding to it,
-will be anything you will name—that is a matter of indifference to the
-committee, save that it be large enough. We are ready to build you a
-tabernacle two hundred feet square,—larger if you like.”
-
-The man addressed involuntarily laid his hand on his breast; a letter in
-the pocket under his hand, from Chicago, specified a tabernacle three
-hundred feet square. He smiled slightly; even religious zeal was a size
-larger in Chicago than elsewhere.
-
-Further details were mentioned, but the evangelist seemed to give them a
-forced and mechanical attention. Then, rather suddenly, he broke in with
-a word of apology.
-
-“I am fully sensible, gentlemen,” he went on, “of the confidence you
-have manifested in me, and I would, under other conditions, have
-accepted your proposition. But the very circumstance of your making it
-to-night hastens an action on my part which I have been approaching, but
-had not, until now, definitely determined upon. I am about to withdraw
-from this work, and can form no engagements, however promising. I shall
-close the meetings here as soon as I can honourably do so, and these
-meetings are, for the present certainly, my last.”
-
-The blank faces of the three men before him seemed to demand a word or
-two more.
-
-“My reasons?” he asked with curt and almost chilling brevity. “Pardon
-me. They are personal to myself. Good evening. No one can regret your
-disappointment more than I.” With these words the speaker turned
-abruptly from the little group and left the theatre. In great amazement
-and perplexity the committee of three presently followed his example.
-
-Here was an accredited and earnest man, no irresponsible religious
-tramp, who possessed, apparently in a superlative degree, the gift of
-winning souls for which Samuel Mallison had given his all, if in vain,
-and for lack of which he might fairly be said to be dying, being one who
-could have lived on spiritual joy, if such had ever been his portion.
-And this man, possessing this coveted and crowning religious endowment,
-was deliberately putting it aside, and refusing to use it. What did it
-signify?
-
- * * * * *
-
-Anna Mallison had left Haran, in its ice-bound valley, early that
-morning, and, by travelling through snowdrifts in a sleigh all the
-forenoon, had been favoured to get as far as Springfield on her journey,
-at nine o’clock of that same evening. She was bound for Boston, where
-she was to go before the missionary board to be examined as to her
-fitness and promise for a worker on the “foreign field.”
-
-At the Springfield station Anna had been met by the little missionary
-lady whom she had heard and met in Haran on her night of great decision.
-By her she had been conducted to a hotel, shown to a room,
-affectionately if reticently counselled, and then left to sleep and be
-ready for another early start on the following morning. It was the first
-time Anna had ever been in a city, and she was bewildered by the noise
-and lights in the streets through which she had been hurriedly driven.
-
-Left alone, she looked about her at the stiff order of the narrow hotel
-chamber, the first she had ever inhabited, the showy, shabby carpet, the
-cheap carvings of the furniture, the long mirror in which she herself
-stood, still and dreary, and a rushing wave of heart-sickness swept over
-her. Her anxiety for her father became suddenly poignant; a sense of the
-sadness of his life tore her heart with fierce pain: she realized now,
-as she had failed to before, how fast his strength declined. She longed
-to know how that moment fared with him, and how the next would. A wild
-purpose seized her to return the next morning to Haran, and let all
-other purposes go until some later time.
-
-However, in spite of all this anxiety and doubt, Anna’s physical
-weariness was sufficient to bring sleep apace, when once her head was on
-the pillow, and all the distant murmur of the city and the sudden,
-uncomprehended noises of the great house were soon lost to her. Thus she
-failed to hear a man who entered the room next to hers within the same
-hour, who closed the door with some emphasis and locked it fast; who,
-after that, walked up and down within the narrow limits of that room
-with uniform, slow step, and who continued to do this until the December
-dawn filtered through the dim windows. All was still in that next room
-when Anna awoke. The anxiety and homesickness of the night before were
-gone, and in their place was that mysterious joy which once before on a
-June night had strangely visited her. Again, in her dream, she had seen
-the face which ever since had dominated her; as before, it was majestic,
-free, and strong. As before, it had bent to her,—
-
- “Bent down and smiled.”
-
-She rose hastily, glad and awed and greatly wondering. At six o’clock
-she was ready and went down to the great dining-hall, dark save for the
-wan light of a single gas jet under which she sat down, silent and
-alone, and was served by a heavy-eyed, untidy man-servant, with an
-indifferent breakfast. She swallowed a few mouthfuls by force of will,
-then gathered up her humble belongings, and started out alone into the
-icy chill of the grey morning. It was too early for her friend from the
-Orient to brave the rigours of the unaccustomed winter. It was all
-comfortless, dreary, and inauspicious; small cheer for a young girl
-starting on such an errand, but there was no sinking now of her spirit.
-She walked to the Springfield station in the light and warmth of that
-inexplicable radiance of her dream, and so pursued her journey to
-Boston.
-
- FROM ANNA MALLISON’S NOTE-BOOK
-
- Do you believe in the mutual penetration of mind? Do you believe
- that, independent of word and voice, independent of distance, from
- one end of the world to the other, minds can influence and penetrate
- one another?... Do you not know a soul can feel within it another
- soul which touches it?
-
- —PÈRE GRATRY.
-
-_January 28, 1870._—A week to-day since my father was buried. It is late
-at night, and I have come up to my little roof room, but I cannot sleep.
-I have been with my mother, and we have cried together, until she sleeps
-at last, so tired, and her dear face changed so sadly that, as she
-slept, I was almost afraid. And yet she is greatly upheld, and as gentle
-and uncomplaining as it is possible to be.
-
-But for me, knowing my father, and trying to find the meaning of his
-life, these days give me less grief than wonder and perplexity. For a
-time after my father told me the story of his past, after I knew what he
-might have been, knew his great renunciation, his utter humility, his
-leaving all to seek one only thing, and that a gift for others, and even
-that being denied him, so that to himself his life seemed a failure, and
-its supreme sacrifice unsanctioned and unblessed—after this I could
-hardly bear the heart-break of it all. So pure, so blameless, so devoted
-a life, and yet, to his own thought, so unfruitful. Just a narrow little
-village church, with its narrow little victories and defeats, and its
-monotony of spiritual ebb and flow—this was the sum of his achievement.
-Was it not hard of God? This he would not have said, but my
-undisciplined heart has cried out in bitterness and rebellion. I have
-been in deep doubt and darkness.
-
-To-night it is given me to see it all in light, and I am reconciled. The
-word which changed my father’s life was that great word of the Master,
-“Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and _die_, it abideth
-alone.” That dying, the utterness of it, was what we did not comprehend.
-I think my father understood before he left us, although he could not
-express it. But all along he had felt that in dying in his own personal
-life to the world and to his ambition, he was meeting the condition, and
-that in his own personal life the fruits of that death were to be
-manifest, that he should be set for the salvation of many. But God sees
-not with our short vision. Days with him are years, and years days; and
-our whole life but a vapour, which appeareth for a little time, and then
-vanisheth away.
-
-This has come to me: My father’s sacrifice has borne in the life of one
-of his children, if not in all, the fruit of an especial dedication of
-that life to the service of God. If he had not been the man he was, if
-he had not laid down his life daily and hourly in humble self-surrender
-to the Divine Will, never, never should I have dreamed of giving myself
-to the work to which I am now pledged. His life, in its deepest working,
-had been wrought into mine, so that unconsciously I willed to be what he
-would have willed to have me. So, then, it is no more I alone, but the
-spirit, the will, the nature of my father that worketh in me.
-
-The God of my father—this phrase, so common, so almost commonplace
-before, has suddenly taken to itself an extraordinary significance. My
-father’s God, my God, who began in my father’s willing sacrifice of all
-the noblest powers of his manhood his purpose of grace, will now, in his
-good pleasure, carry on the one work, the same so begun, through me, all
-unworthy as I am, timid, trembling, but a child. A child, and yet called
-with this high calling; child of a saint, called solemnly, sacredly, in
-the very depths of my being, deeper than I feel, higher than I know, to
-be my father’s child, to be the continuance, the fulfilment of his dying
-life, to finish what he began, to bring to fruitage the seed he died to
-sow. How sublime, how sweet, how awful the vocation wherewith I am
-called!
-
-Then look upon me, O my God, my father’s God! Behold my weakness; raise
-it into power; turn my dull mind to light, my hard and narrow heart to a
-flame of love; make me thy minister, thy messenger, fulfil in me all thy
-great will.
-
-_February 20._—To-night I am alone in the old home, not _our_ home any
-more. It is stripped already of all that made it home, but, bare and
-grim as it is, I love it, and leave it with a sorrow my heart is yet too
-tired to realize. They have consented to let me sleep this one last
-night in my own little room. This poor bed is to be left, being not
-worth removing, and all that clothes it goes with me. So, like a
-pilgrim, under a tent roof for a single night, I lie alone, and look up
-beyond the dear old gable and see the winter stars.
-
-They shine upon his grave, and the snow already has drifted over it, and
-my heart bleeds. Why will they not let us pray for our dead as the
-Romish people do? Oh, kind little father, gone what dim, dazzling way I
-do not know, will they let you be happy at last? Will God let you _see
-why_?
-
-_February 21._—It was a strange night, and yet most beautiful.
-
-I hardly slept, but prayed until nearly dawn. Then I slept a short time,
-and woke to find my limbs racked with pain from the bitter chill of the
-room, and tears running down my face. Almost as if I were carrying out
-an order given me in my sleep, I hurried on my clothing, and, taking my
-candle, came down the stairs, both flights, through the empty, echoing
-house, to the rooms below. I was so cold that I shook from head to foot.
-Then I found in the kitchen wood left from our store, and I brought it
-into the east room, the parlour, where we laid my father after his
-death, and where I had sat beside his dear form each night. The great
-fireplace was bare and empty, like the room, but the andirons were left.
-
-I laid the wood across and started the fire, and it blazed and gave
-light, and threw strange shadows about the room, and I kneeled beside
-it, on the hearth, as I used sometimes when I was a little child, and
-warmed my hands, and still I cried, and there was no one to comfort me.
-
-Mally says she would have been afraid—in that room. I cannot understand.
-It is because her dearest have not died. What of him could have been
-anything but precious? To have felt his spirit near me! That would
-indeed have been holy consolation.
-
-But what if that were true? I do not know. While I so crouched in the
-chimney corner, my heart bleeding, and the tears bathing my poor face,
-there was a soft touch, lighter than the flight of a thistledown,
-passing over my head, as if the gentlest hand God himself could make
-gentle had smoothed my hair, and sought to comfort me.
-
-Then some one said: “I came here to be with you.” But I do not know
-whether it was I who so said in my own heart, or whether the words were
-spoken to my ear. I only know that I was comforted, and the fire warmed
-my aching limbs, and my head drooped against the wall, and I slept with
-long sobs, as I slept once when I was a child, and my dear father
-ministered to me.
-
-It was broad daylight when I awoke, and I felt soothed and strong. I
-rose to go and make ready to lock and leave the house. But first I knelt
-and prayed, and I am praying still.
-
-Live in me, O God, as my father lives in me, and as thou didst live in
-him. Let me live the life and die the death which he sought to live, to
-die, for thee. Give thou unto him through me abiding fruit in the
-salvation of souls; and grant us such grace as that we may humbly and
-worthily fulfil thy gracious will, I on earth, as he in heaven.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VII
-
- She [Dorothea] could not reconcile the anxieties of a spiritual life
- involving eternal consequences, with a keen interest in gimp, and
- artificial protrusions of drapery.—_Middlemarch_, GEORGE ELIOT.
-
-
-A small house in a small street of a small provincial city. A faded
-brown house with its front door directly on the street, the steps
-jutting into the sidewalk. A narrow strip of yard overlaid with grimy
-snow separated this house from others on either side, equally unnotable
-and uninteresting, the dwellings of mechanics and small tradesmen.
-
-It was the close of a rough March day, the wind had not died with
-sunsetting, and a thin, piercing rain, colder than snow, was driven
-before it into the very teeth of the few passers-by.
-
-A tall woman, in a straight black dress with a dyed black shawl drawn
-tightly around her shoulders, was making her way down the street dead
-against the wind, which beat her hair out into wet strands and bound her
-skirts hard about the slender long limbs. She made no useless attempt to
-hold an umbrella; in fact, she carried none, but was heavily burdened
-with four or five large books. She was girlish in figure after a severe
-sort, her step steady, her movement without impatience or fluttering, in
-spite of the struggle with the wind. Seeing her face, the absorbedness
-of sorrow in it was profound enough to explain indifference to sharper
-buffetings than those of the wind. It was Anna Mallison.
-
-When she reached the house she deposited her books on the icy step and
-drew from her pocket with stiffened, aching fingers a key with which she
-unlocked the door. The house was unlighted, and its close, airless
-precincts apparently empty.
-
-Stooping, Anna gathered her books again and closed the door, then groped
-her way to a steep staircase, a weary sigh escaping her as if in spite
-of herself. The room which she entered, silent and dark at her coming,
-showed itself, when she had lighted a lamp, a low but spacious living
-room, stiffly and even meagrely furnished. Opening beyond it was a
-smaller bedroom.
-
-Having laid aside shawl and bonnet, Anna made preparation for a simple
-evening meal for two persons. Not until these were made did she stop to
-realize that she was chilled and that her shoes were wet through.
-Characteristically it was of the shoes she took cognizance rather than
-of her feet—circumstances having thus far led her to regard health as an
-easier thing to acquire than food and raiment.
-
-There was a sudden outburst now, from below, of merry voices, both a
-man’s voice and a girl’s, in loud and cheerful banter, then the house
-door shut with a bang, there was a quick step on the stairs, and a gay,
-fluttering, wind-blown figure of a pretty girl appeared in the upper
-sitting room. It was Mally Loveland, Anna’s early Haran friend and
-companion.
-
-“Holloa, Anna!” she called lightly, “lucky for me you got in first! A
-fire is a good thing, I tell you, on a night like this.” Mally’s voice
-had acquired a new ring of self-confident vivacity.
-
-“You’re a little late, Mally,” remarked Anna, quietly, as she returned
-to the room. “Shall I make tea?”
-
-“Oh, yes, do; there’s a dear. Oh, such fun as we’ve been having at the
-Allens’! But I’m so chilly and damp, you know; and just look, Anna, at
-the ribbons on my hat.” Mally held up to view a pretentious structure of
-ribbon and velvet which had plainly suffered many things of the
-elements.
-
-“Too bad. I hope you won’t go out again to-night, your cold was so bad
-yesterday. It is a wretched night.”
-
-“Oh, I must go out, my dear—must indeed! Couldn’t disappoint the girls,
-you know.”
-
-“Nor even the boys?” asked Anna smiling.
-
-Mally laughed at this, evidently pleased. In a few moments she was ready
-and they took their places at the tea-table, Mally quieting herself with
-an effort, in order to ask a brief blessing upon the meal. It was her
-turn to-night. The two coöperated in their religious exercises of a
-general character, as well as in their housekeeping.
-
-Destiny, so eagerly challenged by these two village girls in the
-eventless isolation of their life in Haran, seemed at last to have
-declared itself decisively: both were to catch men,—Anna in the
-apostolic sense, Mally in a different one.
-
-Anna’s journey to Boston, three months earlier, had been successful. She
-had returned under appointment as a missionary to India; but being still
-too young to go out, the Board had advised her to spend the following
-two years in studies especially designed to develop her usefulness in
-work among the heathen. In January Samuel Mallison had died. The
-parsonage, where the children had been born and nurtured, could thus no
-longer be their home. It must be made ready now for a successor.
-
-It had been a sorrowful breaking up, and when the melancholy work was
-done, and the home effaced forever, the mother, patient and
-uncomplaining, departed with Lucia to the lonely farmhouse among the
-hills, to take on again, in her later years of life, the many cares of
-tending little children. It was then that Anna, accompanied by her
-friend Mally, had come to Burlington with the purpose of studying at a
-collegiate institute, which offered opportunity for more advanced study
-than could be had in Haran. Anna was hard at work every morning on
-Paley’s “Evidences” and Butler’s “Analogy,” while her afternoons were
-spent in the small hospital of the town, in an informal nurses’ class,
-as it was even then considered a useful thing for missionaries to go out
-with some equipment for healing the bodies of men as well as their
-souls. Mally, by her own account, was “taking” music, painting, and
-French.
-
-As they sat at their little table now, with its meagre and humble fare,
-but its indefinable expression of refinement, Anna and Mally were in
-striking contrast.
-
-It has been said before that Anna matured slowly. There was still in her
-face, despite its sadness, the grave wonder, the artless simplicity, and
-the sweet unconsciousness of a child. Her figure was angular and
-undeveloped; her black dress, absolutely, harshly plain, and of coarse
-stuff; her face, far too thin and colourless for beauty. She was,
-plainly, underfed and overworked; but there was, nevertheless, a dignity
-and a distinction in her aspect which emphasized Mally’s provincialness,
-notwithstanding the little fashionable touches about dress and coiffure
-which the latter had swiftly and instinctively adapted to her own use.
-
-Anna had the repose of a person who is not concerned at all as to the
-impression she makes, or desirous of making any personal impression
-whatever. Mally had the restlessness, the vivacity, the eagerness, of a
-woman who wishes everywhere and at every time to make herself felt, to
-be the central figure. She was born an egotist, and even “divine grace,”
-in the devotional phraseology of that time, had not been sufficient to
-overcome her natural bent. At the present time, in fact, egotism was
-having comparatively easy work with her, and an indefinite truce with
-the religious conflicts of earlier days had been tacitly declared. That
-spiritual experience had been sincere, and it had lasted several years.
-Fortunately, to Mally’s unspoken thought, she had been favoured during
-those years to work out her salvation, which was now, according to a
-prime doctrine of the church, secured to her against all accidents. This
-being so, no one need be concerned for her; and if she were herself
-satisfied with a low spiritual attainment, it was nobody’s business but
-her own.
-
-She had, to her own naïve surprise, met with a marked degree of social
-success in a certain middle-class stratum of the small town. She was
-pretty, clever, adaptive; the young men and women of her set said she
-was “such good company.” This was high praise. In Haran the natural
-order for a marriageable girl was to be soberly and decorously and
-protractedly wooed by one young man, to whom, in process of time, she
-was married. Here Mally found a far more stimulating social condition.
-Not one man, but many, might be the portion of a popular girl, and Mally
-found the strength of numbers very great. The sex instinct, the ruling
-desire to attract men, sprang into vigorous action, and became, for a
-time at least, predominant. Women of whom this is true are often very
-good women, with energy and common sense, but it is important for their
-friends, for various reasons, to hold the master key to their character.
-
-Anna Mallison, at this period of her life as sexless in her conscious
-life as a star, looked on at this rapid and unlooked-for development of
-Mally’s nature in infinite perplexity. She had always liked certain men,
-even outside her own kindred, but it was because they were wise or good
-or sincere, not because they were men. A thirst for admiration being
-thus far undeclared in her own life, Mally became inexplicable to her;
-she did not hold the key to her character, and involuntarily she
-withdrew more and more into herself, her only friend becoming thus
-uncomprehended. If she felt this in any degree, Mally, being closely
-occupied with more tangible consideration, paid small heed to it.
-
-While they were taking tea, Anna kept her eyes fixed on the mantel
-clock, and, having eaten hastily, rose from her place.
-
-“What is the matter?” asked Mally, looking up. “Oh, of course; but, dear
-me, Anna, I never would bother to get things ready for old Marm Wilson,
-after the way she grumbles at you. Sit down, do. You’ll never get any
-thanks, I can tell you that; and what’s the use?”
-
-Anna was at the door already. “I think it’s late enough now to be safe.
-She only grumbles, you know, if the oil and wood burn out awhile before
-she gets here. She was to work quite near on Hill Street, to-day, so she
-will surely be in early.”
-
-“Oh, well, go on if you’ve a mind to. I suppose it is forlorn on a night
-like this for the poor old creature to find her house all dark and
-cold,” Mally spoke carelessly, half to herself. Anna was already
-half-way downstairs.
-
-Mrs. Wilson was their houseowner, a seamstress of narrow means and
-narrower life whose upper rooms they rented.
-
-An hour later the upper sitting room was suddenly enlivened and almost
-filled, as far as seating capacity was concerned, by a group of Mally’s
-friends, who had come to escort her to an evening gathering. These young
-men and maidens, whom Anna had scarcely seen before, seemed to explain
-the new Mally to her, and to place her at a different angle, as one of a
-class, not one by herself. The girls all wore a profusion of ribbons and
-curls, and were all in an effervescence of noisy excitement regarding
-the effect of the dampness on their hair and their finery; they
-whispered and giggled together, and pouted at the young men, or tossed
-their heads and assumed exaggerated airs of being shocked at the
-personal remarks which these attendants volunteered, and with which they
-were, in fact, palpably delighted.
-
-Anna, who attempted some quiet civilities from time to time, was
-regarded with undisguised indifference, as not being “one of the set.”
-
-After the young people had left the house, however, Mally’s companion on
-their expedition, a young man somewhat above the others in intelligence,
-said to her:—
-
-“What an unusual girl that friend of yours, that Miss Mallison, is. I
-never met any one just like her. She strikes me as a girl who would keep
-a fellow at a mighty distance; but if she ever did care for him, he
-wouldn’t mind dying for her, you know, and all that sort of thing. But
-she isn’t one of the kind you like to play games with.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VIII
-
- She was a queen of noble Nature’s crowning,
- A smile of hers was like an act of grace;
- She had no winsome looks, no pretty frowning,
- Like daily beauties of the vulgar race;
- But, if she smiled, a light was on her face,
- A clear, cool kindliness, a lunar beam
- Of peaceful radiance.
- —HARTLEY COLERIDGE.
-
-
-To the surprise of both the friends, Anna, who had gone about her
-rigorous tasks unseen and unnoted hitherto, began about this time to
-come into a certain comparative prominence in the quiet little city.
-
-A day or two after the evening described in the last chapter, Anna
-received a note from Mrs. Ingraham, the wife of a distinguished citizen
-of the town, a man of great wealth, and a well-known senator. The
-Ingrahams were, perhaps, the most highly placed family in the little
-town, by right of distinguished antecedents, of wealth, and of habit of
-life. They belonged to that singularly privileged class, which Anna
-Mallison had not hitherto encountered, who have both will and power to
-appropriate the most select of all things which minister to the
-individual development, whether things material, things intellectual, or
-things spiritual. Thus Mrs. Ingraham and her daughters were women of
-fashion, prominent figures at the state functions of their own state,
-and well known in the inner circles of Washington society. They dressed
-superlatively well in clothes that came from Paris. At the same time
-they were as much at home among literary as among fashionable folk, and
-Mrs. Ingraham at least was understood to be devotedly religious, with an
-especial penchant for foreign missions. In fine, all things were theirs.
-
-Thus it was an event for Anna Mallison, in her dull, low-ceiled upper
-room, to open and read the note of Mrs. Senator Ingraham to herself,—a
-note written in graceful, flowing hand, on sumptuous, ivorylike paper,
-squarely folded, with a crest on the seal, and the faintest suggestion
-of violets escaping almost before perceived. The note was delicately
-courteous, a marvel of gracious tact. Mrs. Ingraham had heard through a
-friend that Miss Mallison was under appointment as a missionary to
-India, and had sincerely wished to meet her. On Friday evening a dear
-Christian worker from Boston, now her guest, was to hold a little
-parlour meeting at the house for the help and encouragement of friends
-who were interested in a higher Christian life. Would not Miss Mallison
-give them all the pleasure of making one of that number? Mrs. Ingraham
-would esteem it a personal favour; and if Miss Mallison felt that she
-could tell the little company something of the experience she had had in
-being led into this beautiful life work, it would be most acceptable.
-However, this was by no means urged, but merely suggested and left
-entirely to Miss Mallison’s preference.
-
-The man who had brought the note waited on the narrow walk below for
-Anna’s answer. He wore a sober but handsome livery.
-
-This was the first invitation of the kind which Anna had received, but
-she had now somewhat accustomed herself, by the advice of the Board, to
-speaking in women’s missionary meetings, and it seemed to her right to
-say yes. Accordingly, on untinted note-paper of a very common grade, she
-said yes in a natural and simple way, and made haste to give the note to
-the man at the door below, whom she felt distressed to keep waiting.
-
-This man removed his shining hat in respectful acknowledgment as he took
-the note, and told Anna that Mrs. Ingraham had asked him to say, having
-forgotten to mention it in her note, that in case Miss Mallison would be
-so kind as to come, Mrs. Ingraham would send the carriage for her at
-half-past seven on Friday evening.
-
-Anna felt that she ought to deprecate so much attention, and timidly
-attempted to do so; but the man plainly was not further empowered to
-treat in the matter, and, bowing respectfully, departed with Anna’s
-pallid, long and narrow envelope in his well-gloved hand.
-
-When Mally came in, Anna handed her Mrs. Ingraham’s note. Mally’s face
-flushed noticeably as she read it. It was not easy for her to have her
-quiet friend thus preferred.
-
-“You’ll go, of course?” she commented rather coldly, as she handed it
-back.
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“I should think you would by all means. Who wouldn’t? I’ve heard lots
-about Mrs. Ingraham; she believes in a very high religious life, you
-know, and those rich higher-life people live high, I can tell you.
-There’ll be a supper, depend on that, and it will be a fine one.”
-
-“Oh, I don’t think there will be anything of that kind,” interposed
-Anna, hastily.
-
-“You see!” cried Mally, with an air of superior wisdom and wide social
-experience. “Oh my! if I should tell you all I’ve heard about those
-Ingrahams, you’d be surprised. One night they have a prayer-meeting and
-the next night a dance. It’s all right, I suppose. Kind of new, that’s
-all.”
-
-On the following evening, when the luxurious Ingraham carriage was
-driven up before Mrs. Wilson’s poor little house, many eyes peered
-narrowly from neighbours’ windows to catch the unwonted sight; and Anna,
-slipping hastily out of the Wilson door, felt an access of humility in
-this exaltation of herself, for such she knew it seemed to her
-neighbours, transient though it was. She had suffered a guilty and
-apologetic consciousness all day toward Mally, who had treated her with
-a slight coolness and indifference, which afflicted Anna keenly.
-
-When Anna entered the hall of the Ingraham house, a small, stout woman,
-in a brown dress and smooth hair, came out to greet her, and took her
-hand between both her own, which were white and soft and heavily
-weighted with diamonds. Anna found the diamonds confusing, but she knew
-the hands were kind. Mrs. Ingraham’s manner, of sincere kindliness and
-dignity, put Anna wholly at her ease, and she looked about her,
-presently, at the subdued luxury and elegance of her surroundings with a
-frank, childlike pleasure. Her absolute unconsciousness of herself saved
-Anna from the awkwardness which her unusual height, her angular
-thinness, and her unaccustomedness to social contact might otherwise
-have produced. She wore her “other dress,” which was of plain black
-poplin, but quite new, and not ungraceful in its straight untortured
-lines; and as she entered the great drawing-room, with its splendours of
-costly art, and met the eyes of many people who were watching her
-entrance, the quiet gravity and simplicity of her bearing were hardly
-less than grace.
-
-Two women, dressed with elegance and apparently not deeply touched with
-religiousness, commented apart a little later, having met and spoken in
-turn with the lady from Boston and the young missionary elect.
-
-“What do you think of Mrs. Ingraham’s new saints?” asked one, whose
-black dress was heavily studded with jet ornaments.
-
-“I like the young missionary better than the Bostonian, myself,” was the
-reply. The speaker had red hair and an exquisite figure. “Isn’t she
-curious, though?” she continued. “Manners, you know, but absolutely no
-manner! I never encountered a woman before, even at her age, who
-positively had _none_.”
-
-“That is what ails her, isn’t it?” returned her beaded friend. “You’ve
-just hit it. And you can see that tremendously developed missionary
-conscience of hers in every line of her face and figure, don’t you know
-you can?”
-
-“Figure, my dear? She has none. I never saw such an utter absence of the
-superfluous!”
-
-Here they both laughed clandestinely behind their laced handkerchiefs.
-
-“Do you know how I should describe that girl?” challenged the Titian
-beauty, recovering.
-
-“Cleverly, without doubt.”
-
-“I should call her a scaffolding over a conscience.”
-
-“That is really very good, Evelyn. You can see that she is not even
-consciously a woman yet. She knows nothing of life or of herself or of
-this goodly frame, the earth, save what that New England conscience of
-hers has interpreted to her. Her horizon is as narrow as her chest.”
-
-“Poor thing. How will she bear life, I wonder!” and the words died into
-a whisper, for at that moment the little talking, moving groups of men
-and women were called to take the chairs, which had been arranged in
-comfortable order, and give attention to what was to follow.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IX
-
- When the soul, growing clearer,
- Sees God no nearer;
- When the soul, mounting higher,
- To God comes no nigher;
- But the arch-fiend Pride
- Mounts at her side,
- And, when she fain would soar,
- Makes idols to adore,
- Changing the pure emotion
- Of her high devotion
- To a skin-deep sense
- Of her own eloquence;
- Strong to deceive, strong to enslave—
- Save, oh! save.
- —MATTHEW ARNOLD.
-
-
-Anna was the first to speak. When she rose and faced the little
-audience, made up of fashionable women, professional men, and a
-sprinkling of the more clearly defined religious “workers”, she did not
-feel the coldness underlying their courteous attention. The Titian
-beauty fixed upon her eyes full of unconsciously patronizing kindness,
-and Mrs. Ingraham smiled at her with sympathetic encouragement, but they
-might have spared themselves the effort. Anna did not perceive or
-consider these things. She was not thinking of them at all, nor of
-herself.
-
-The peculiar twofold consecration which rested upon her spirit in regard
-to her missionary vocation, as a call to fulfil at once the Divine Will
-and the will of her father, was so profound and so solemn as to remove
-her from personal and passing cares. She would not herself have chosen
-to appear before these people and to speak to them of her supreme
-interest; but to do so had been laid upon her as duty, and Anna’s
-conception of duty, by reason of the “tremendously developed conscience”
-which the worldly-wise women had discerned in her, was of something to
-be done. She did this duty with the simple directness of a soldier under
-command. She stood erect and motionless, with no nervous working of
-hands or trembling of lips, and spoke in a clear, low voice, in which
-alone, by reason of a peculiar vibrant pathos, the profound, undeclared
-passion of her nature was suggested.
-
-Her critics of the early evening had been right in finding her destitute
-of manner. There was no slightest evidence as she spoke of the orator’s
-instinct—the magnetism of kindling eye and changing expression, of the
-conciliation and subtle flattery of her hearers. Neither had she fervid
-personal raptures nor spiritual triumphs to communicate. Of the
-picturesque and pathetic elements of the situation she made no use
-whatever. She had simply an absolute, dominating conviction that the
-heathen were lost; that they could only be saved by the knowledge of
-Christ; that this knowledge must be conveyed to them by the disciples of
-Christ at his command; and that she, Anna Mallison, was humbly grateful
-that she was permitted to devote herself to a service so obviously
-necessary. Of these things she spoke; of the sacred sense of living out
-her father’s disappointed life she naturally could not speak.
-
-It was not the speech which Mrs. Ingraham and her guests had expected.
-They had looked to have their sympathies aroused by a pathetic recital
-of sacrifice and exalted self-devotion. Anna, on the contrary, was
-unconscious of sacrifice, and felt herself simply grateful for the
-privilege of carrying out her innermost desires.
-
-The people who heard her felt that to give up “the world” was a mighty
-thing. Anna did not yet know what “the world” was. To their
-anticipation, she had been a figure almost as romantic and moving as a
-young novitiate about to take conventual vows; to herself, she was an
-enlisted soldier who has received marching orders, and whose heart
-exults soberly, since there are ties which may be broken, and death,
-perhaps, awaiting, but even so exults with joyful response.
-
-Thus, to most of those who heard her, Anna’s little speech was a
-distinct disappointment; the very loftiness of her conception of her
-calling made it featureless, and robbed it of adaptation to easy
-emotional effect. The ladies who had discussed her before her speech
-found, after it, that it was, after all, exactly what might have been
-expected—altogether of a piece with the austerity of her figure, and her
-sad, colourless face, no warmth, no emotion—just the hard Puritan
-conscience at its hardest.
-
-There were two or three only who felt the spiritual elevation belonging
-to the girl and to what she said, and the underlying pathos of her high
-restraint, as too great to put into the conventional phrases of sympathy
-and praise, and so kept silence.
-
-There was a brief pause after Anna returned to her seat, during which
-people stirred and spoke in low tones, and the beaded lady leaned over
-and thanked Anna for her “charming little talk”. Then Mrs. Westervelt,
-the guest from Boston came forward and began speaking with a winning
-smile, a gentle, soothing voice, and an affectionate reference to “the
-dear, sweet young sister.” She had the ease and flexibility of the
-practised public speaker; the winning and dimpled smile with which she
-won the company at the start was in frequent use, and she made constant
-motions with a pair of very white hands. She was quietly dressed, and
-yet, after the straightness of Anna’s poor best gown, her attire had its
-own air of handsome comfort. The perfect command of her voice and of
-herself established instantaneously a _rapport_ with her audience, of
-which Anna, in her inexperience, had never dreamed.
-
-Her beloved Mrs. Ingraham, she said, had asked her to tell the dear
-friends of some wonderful answers to prayer which she had recently
-experienced, but before doing this she craved the privilege of reading a
-few verses of Scripture.
-
-She then read certain passages from the prophecy of Zechariah, detached
-from one another, taken entirely from their historic setting, but fitted
-together with some care. The speaker explained that she had, in her
-earlier Christian life, found some difficulty in interpreting this
-rather obscure passage, but in the new life of complete sanctification,
-into which it had been her glorious privilege to enter, she had come to
-see all Scripture by a new and marvellous light. No longer did she trust
-to the dry and formal explanations of scholars, many of whom, it was but
-too well known, had never had the deep things of God revealed to them,
-and who had been led into many errors by their pride of learning. All
-that kind of study was past for her, for the dear Lord himself showed
-her, when she lifted her heart to him, just what he meant in his blessed
-word. This had been her experience in regard to the passage just read.
-To the natural mind there were difficulties in it, but just below the
-surface was the great precious truth which God would have all his
-children receive. It had been given her that when she came to the
-beautiful home of Mrs. Ingraham, and should be called upon to speak to
-these friends, she must bring them this particular passage. But it had
-looked dark to her, and she was in doubt how to interpret it. But as she
-had been in the cars, coming up from Boston, she had said: “Now, Lord,
-those dear friends in Burlington will want to know just what you meant
-by that sweet portion of your word, and I do not feel that I can tell
-them unless you enlighten me. What is it that is intended by the two
-staves in the hand of the prophet, one called Beauty and one called
-Bands?”
-
-Then the dear Lord had sweetly spoken in the secret place of her heart,
-as distinctly as if with an audible voice: “My child, the old life of
-formalism, of coldness, and of worldly pleasure in which many Christians
-live is the staff called Bands. The higher life, the life of answered
-prayer, the life of perfect sanctification and fulness of blessing, is
-Beauty. Take this message to my dear children in Burlington.”
-
-Oh, how simple! Oh, how sweet! Who would weary heart and brain over the
-interpretations of rationalistic German commentators, when we could thus
-have the direct interpretation of his own word by the Lord himself?
-
-Thus Mrs. Westervelt proceeded at some length on this line, and then,
-with tearful eyes and an added intensity of the personal element, she
-rehearsed the answers to prayer which her friend, Mrs. Ingraham, had
-rightly called wonderful. Thus, in carrying on the work of preaching
-perfect sanctification in Boston, a room had been needed for meetings.
-Two or three of the little band had prayed, and within a week they had
-had a most suitable room offered them by a precious sister, but it was
-unfurnished. The details of securing the equipment of this room were now
-described. Each piece of furniture, the speaker declared, had been
-directly given in answer to special prayer and by a marvellous
-interposition. If any natural means had been at work by which persons in
-sympathy with their efforts were led to supply their obvious needs,
-these were not mentioned. Plainly it was Mrs. Westervelt’s conception of
-a perfect relation to God that the one sustaining it should receive
-constant miraculous testimony of the divine favour. The privilege of
-attaining this condition was presented with fervid emphasis. It was the
-high and perfect life! Who would live on the old plane when this was
-what God had for them? Oh, how beautiful it was to trust! Why should we
-ever doubt, when we were so plainly told that _whatsoever_ we ask we
-shall receive?
-
-As Mrs. Westervelt went on, many of her hearers were moved to tears, and
-a continuous response of sympathetic looks and subdued exclamations
-followed her recital of her surprising experiences. The wealthy women
-present felt that this was certainly a fine thing for those who could
-not get what they wanted by ordinary business methods, but were,
-perhaps, secretly glad that they were not themselves called upon to test
-their relation to God quite so pointedly. The poorer and humbler guests
-wept profusely, thinking how long they had stumbled on in the dull and
-inferior practice of working painfully for many needed things, which
-might all have been miraculously given them, if they had only been
-favourites of God, like Mrs. Westervelt, or, as she would have said,
-“had only just stepped out into the fulness.”
-
-Anna Mallison sat and listened in unspeakable astonishment.
-
-This was as absolutely new a gospel to her as the gospel of Christ to a
-disciple of Buddha. It was her first contact with sentimental religion.
-
-The God of her father had been the immutable and eternal Creator, the
-high and holy One inhabiting eternity, the Judge of all the earth.
-Through the Incarnation the just anger of this Holy Being toward sinful
-men had been appeased. But although in Christ there had been found
-access to God and an Intercessor, never had it entered into the heart of
-Samuel Mallison or those whom he led to regard themselves as occupying a
-position other than of deepest humility, self-distrust, awe, and
-reverence.
-
-Mrs. Westervelt’s phraseology was almost like a foreign tongue to Anna.
-The constant use of terms of familiar endearment in speaking of the
-Almighty; the application of affectionate and flattering adjectives on
-all sides; the sense of a peculiar and intimate relation established
-between herself and God; and the free-and-easy conversational, in fact,
-rather colloquial, style in which she held herself privileged to
-communicate with him,—were almost amazing to her. And beneath all these
-superficial marks of a new cult, lay the deeper sense of the inherent
-disparity. Religion to Anna had been, it has been said earlier, a system
-of prohibitions, of self-denials, of self-abasement, with only at rare
-intervals the illumination of a profound sense of the love of God. Here
-was a religion which held up a species of luxurious spiritual enjoyment,
-of unrestrained freedom in approaching God, of an indubitable sense of
-being personally on the best of terms with him, as the privilege of all
-true believers.
-
-The conception of prayer which Mrs. Westervelt had demonstrated was not
-less surprising to Anna. She knew that there were wide and sweeping
-scriptural promises with regard to prayer, but she had always felt a
-deep mystery attaching itself to them. For herself, she had never
-ventured to intrude her temporal gratifications and designs upon the
-attention of her God, but had rather felt a sober silence regarding
-these things to best befit a sinful creature coming before a holy
-Creator. Half revolting, but half smitten with compunction, the thought
-now flashed through her mind that, if she had only prayed after this new
-sort, her father might have received the oranges for which he had sorely
-longed in the months before his death. This luxury was not to be
-obtained in Haran, and had therefore been patiently foregone, heaven and
-Burlington having seemed equally inaccessible at the time.
-
-Mrs. Westervelt sat down, and the meeting broke up, a swarm of
-enthusiastic, tearful women rushing to surround her and pour out their
-effusive appreciation of her wonderful address. Anna stood bewildered
-and alone, doubting within herself. Had it all been the highest
-consecration, as it undoubtedly desired to be? or had it been the
-highest presumption, the old temptation of spiritual pride, assuming a
-new guise?
-
-Two clergymen of the city, who had been attentive listeners during the
-whole evening, not being moved to pour out their admiration upon either
-speaker, quietly strayed across the hall into Mr. Ingraham’s library.
-The senator himself was absent.
-
-“Well, Nichols,” said Dr. Harvey, the older man, who had a shrewd,
-kindly, smooth-shaven face, “what do you think of that for Old Testament
-exegesis?”
-
-“It was pretty stiff to have the responsibility for it given to the
-Lord,” returned his friend. “I almost felt like interrupting her to say
-that, with all due respect, the Lord never told her any such thing, her
-interpretation being monstrously untrue.”
-
-“It was awful, simply awful,” said the other, with slow emphasis. “Such
-fantastic tricks before high heaven might make men, as well as angels,
-weep. And then her familiarity with the Lord, Nichols,—why, man, she
-positively patronized the Almighty!”
-
-“It is true, and yet, do you know, Doctor, that woman has some
-extraordinary elements for success in such work?”
-
-“If she hadn’t, she would be of no importance, my dear fellow. She has a
-fine homiletic instinct. That is just where the danger lies. But, after
-all, she represents only one danger—there are others. She is simply the
-modern mystic—a kind of latter-day, diluted Madame Guyon. Too much of
-the thing is a trifle nauseous, perhaps, but it represents the revolt of
-devout souls, in every age, from formalism, and is inevitably an excess,
-like all revolt. Doubtless there will be such revolt, world without end,
-and it will have its uses.”
-
-“It was fairly pathetic to see how eagerly those women rushed forward to
-receive her; evidently that’s the message they are pining for. They
-don’t go for us that way, Doctor.”
-
-“No; and they didn’t for that first speaker, Mallison’s daughter. I knew
-him. Poor man, what a mystic he might have made, if he had let himself
-go! This girl is much like him—the old New England type; religion with
-all colour and sentiment clean purged out of it. Cold as ice, chaste as
-snow, the antipodes of the Guyon-Westervelt danger. Talk of
-holiness,—poor Mallison,—he was the holiest man I ever knew, and in this
-life the least rewarded,” and the old clergyman shook his head with a
-mournful smile.
-
-“I fancied, when I heard her speak, although I had no idea who she was,
-that this daughter of his had not exactly revelled in the luxury of
-religion.”
-
-“No; but I tell you, Nichols, she is none the worse for that, at her
-age. There is a hardihood, an unconscious, sturdy fortitude in that
-earlier type, which we mightily need in the world to-day. To me, that
-girl was positively beautiful, because—notice what I say, Nichols—she is
-absolutely true.”
-
-“Very likely.”
-
-“Yes; but when you have thought it over, tell me, some day, how many men
-and women you know of whom you can say that. If you know one, you will
-do well.”
-
-Dr. Harvey, as he said these words, rose to leave the library, but
-stopped and stood, as there appeared at that moment at the hall door the
-figure of a man who was apparently passing through the hall. So silent
-and so sudden was his coming, and so singular his aspect, that the
-younger of the two men, perceiving him, started violently in involuntary
-surprise, and was conscious of a disagreeable sensation along the course
-of his veins.
-
-This man, who had approached the door with noiseless steps, might have
-been young, or might have been old. He was of unusual height, with
-narrow shoulders, short body, and disproportionate length of limb. His
-face, an elongated oval, was of as smooth surface as that of a woman,
-and of the shape and pale even colour of an egg. The enormous forehead,
-the eyes, small and narrow, set wide apart and obliquely, the flattened
-nose, the straight, wide, almost lipless mouth, combined with an
-expression of crafty complacence to give the man a singularly alien
-semblance. As he stood, he smiled slowly, a smile which emphasized both
-the craftiness and the complacency of his expression, and remarked in a
-high, thin voice:—
-
-“Just going, Doctor? Make yourself at home here, that’s all right.”
-
-He carried a rather large, morocco-bound note-book in one hand, and a
-silver pencil-case in the other. His hands were extremely delicate and
-white, with sinuous, flexible fingers, of such phenomenal length as to
-suggest an extra, simian joint. They conveyed to the young clergyman a
-sense of expressing the same craft as the face, and a yet more palpable
-cruelty. The unpleasant impression became more pronounced, for, seeing
-the hands, young Nichols involuntarily shivered.
-
-Probably this fact was not noticed by the newcomer, but, having thus
-spoken and smiling one more chilling smile, he passed on to the other
-end of the hall.
-
-Eyes rather than voice asked in astonishment, “Who is that?”
-
-“Oliver Ingraham, the senator’s son,” was the elder clergyman’s reply,
-as they left the library together, “the son of his first wife.” Dr.
-Harvey was Mrs. Ingraham’s pastor.
-
-“Incredible!” cried the other, under his breath. “I never saw him, never
-heard of his existence.”
-
-The other shook his head with gravely troubled look.
-
-“He is only here when it becomes impossible to keep him elsewhere.”
-
-“Is he insane? imbecile? what is he?”
-
-“Not the first, not the second. I cannot answer the third question.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER X
-
- She sitteth in a silence of her own;
- Behind her, on the ground, a red rose lies;
- Her thinking brow is bent, nor doth arise
- Her gaze from that shut book whose word unknown
- Her firm hands hide from her; there all alone
- She sitteth in thought trouble, maidenwise.
- —R. W. GILDER.
-
-
-An October morning, and breakfast-time in the Ingraham household. Great
-doors stood open into the dining room, where the vast round table could
-be seen with its glittering array of silver, and the grace and colour of
-exquisite flowers.
-
-A slender girl, as graceful and charming in her simple morning dress as
-the flowers she had just placed on the table, stood in the doorway,
-waiting, a shade of impatience on her face. Behind her, at one of the
-dining-room windows, stood Oliver Ingraham, her half-brother. Mrs.
-Ingraham, with her other daughters, one older, one younger, were in the
-adjoining library. Outside, in the hall, a man paced up and down with
-impatience which he did not attempt to conceal. This was Mr. Ingraham
-himself, a man of good height, fine, erect figure, and youthful energy
-of motion and bearing. His hair was grey, as also his heavy mustache and
-imperial; his eyes grey also, keen, clear, but inclined to wander with
-disconcerting swiftness; he had a high, beaklike nose, and a fine,
-carefully kept skin, in which a network of dark red veins betrayed the
-high liver. He was at once peremptory and gracious, military and
-courtly, a man of the world and of affairs on a large scale.
-
-With watch in hand he entered the library and approached his wife.
-
-“Cornelia,” he said, smiling with good-tempered sarcasm, “does it strike
-you that the show is a little late in opening? I dislike to mention it,
-but it is already ten minutes past eight. I am not familiar with the
-social customs of Abyssinia, nor even of Macedonia, but in the United
-States it is considered good form for guests, albeit lions, to come to
-breakfast on time. Even the Hyrcan tiger, I understand, is usually
-prompt in his attendance on that function—”
-
-“Papa!” cried his youngest daughter, Louise, “you are perfectly
-dreadful.”
-
-Mrs. Ingraham looked up into her husband’s face with her mild,
-conciliating smile.
-
-“I am so sorry, Justin,” she said softly, “but I suppose the poor dear
-creatures are very tired after the meeting last night, and their
-journey, and all—”
-
-There was a slight noise on the stairs as she spoke, and Mr. Ingraham
-faced about with military precision to receive in succession a number of
-ladies, who filed into the room, and were warmly greeted and promptly
-presented to him by his wife. Two were visitors from New York,
-substantial “Board women”; other two, returned missionaries from Japan;
-the last to enter was a shy, brown little person with soft dark eyes, a
-native Hindu, who could only communicate with her host by a gentle,
-pleading smile. All were in attendance on a great missionary conference
-held in Burlington that week, drawing its supporters from all New
-England and New York.
-
-“Shall we go to breakfast, Cornelia?” Mr. Ingraham asked, having infused
-sudden courage into the trembling breast of the little native by his
-gallant attention. “Are we all here?”
-
-“Why, no, papa,” interposed his youngest daughter; “we must wait for Mr.
-Burgess.”
-
-“Mr. Burgess?” repeated her father, in a musing tone. “I do not recall
-that I have met him. Is the gentleman an invalid?”
-
-“At least the gentleman is here, papa,” murmured Louise, directing his
-attention to a young man who at the moment entered the room, and
-approached Mrs. Ingraham with a few words of courteous apology.
-
-Meeting him, Mr. Ingraham saw a slender, youthful figure, somewhat below
-the average of masculine height, a man of delicate physique, perhaps
-five and twenty years old, with a serious, sensitive face, and earnest
-blue eyes looking out through glasses; a young man who presented himself
-with quiet self-possession, and bore the unmistakable marks of good
-breeding.
-
-As they took their places around the breakfast table, Keith Burgess, for
-this was the young man’s name, found himself seated opposite Oliver,
-with whom he was not drawn to converse, and between the second Miss
-Ingraham and the little Aroona-bia. Conversation with the latter being
-necessarily of an extremely limited nature, her gentle lisping of “yes”
-and “thank you” being somewhat indiscriminate, the guest found himself
-shortly occupied exclusively with his very pretty neighbour.
-
-“You know, Mr. Burgess,” she was presently saying, “I almost feel that I
-know you already.”
-
-“How so?” asked Keith, simply. It was plain that, although accustomed to
-the refinements of life, this was not a man accomplished in social
-subtleties. There was, in fact, a curiously unworldly expression in the
-young fellow’s eyes, and somewhat of thoughtful introspection.
-
-“Why, you see mamma and some of her friends who heard you speak last
-spring have told us so much about you.”
-
-Keith bowed slightly, without reply.
-
-“And you can’t think, Mr. Burgess, how delighted we are to have you come
-to Burlington. We were so afraid you would leave for the East before we
-could hear you, and I assure you that would have been a great
-disappointment. I think you sail in the spring, do you not?”
-
-“Yes, in May, as soon as I graduate.”
-
-“And it is for India?”
-
-“I suppose so. It is not fully determined, but that would be my choice,
-and I believe the Board incline that way.”
-
-The pretty Miss Ingraham, whose name was Gertrude, sighed a very little.
-
-“It is all so wonderful, so almost incredible, to me that any one young
-and like other people, don’t you know? can really go,” she said gently.
-“There _are_ people to whom it seems perfectly natural. Mamma has a new
-protégée who is to go out as a missionary teacher a year from this fall.
-She is very young, only twenty-one, and we all think she is lovely; but
-still, for her it seems really the only thing to be expected. She has
-the genuine missionary air already, and you would know she could not be
-anything else, somehow.”
-
-Keith looked civilly, but not keenly, interested.
-
-“I wonder if it is any one I have heard of,” he remarked. “It is our
-Board that sends her?”
-
-“Yes. Her name is Mallison, Anna Mallison. Her father was a country
-minister up in the mountainous part of the state. Poor thing! She will
-find India quite a change after Vermont winters, I should think.”
-
-“An improvement, perhaps,” said Keith, smiling. “But really, Miss
-Ingraham, going back to what you said a moment ago, why should it seem
-so incredible for a man who has devoted himself to the service of God,
-truly and unreservedly, to be willing to go where what little he can do
-is most needed? Many men go to foreign countries and remain the better
-part of their lives for business purposes: men in the navy; Englishmen,
-of course, of social and political ambitions, by hundreds. Do you ever
-feel that there is anything extraordinary or superhuman in what they
-do?”
-
-Gertrude Ingraham was looking at the young man with almost devout
-attention.
-
-“No,” she answered, shaking her head with pretty humility, seeing which
-way he led.
-
-“Then why,” pursued Keith Burgess, leaning over to look steadily in her
-face with his earnest eyes, and lowering his voice to a deeper emphasis,
-“why do you wonder that now and then a man should be willing to do for
-the Lord Jesus Christ and the salvation of souls what a hundred men do
-as a matter of course for their own selfish ambition and the gaining of
-money?”
-
-The girl looked down, the brightness of her face softened by serious
-feeling.
-
-“The only wonder, Miss Ingraham, is that so few do it. For my own part I
-do not see how a fellow who goes into the ministry, as things are now,
-can do anything else,” and Keith turned back to his neglected breakfast.
-Thereafter he was drawn into conversation, across the mute languor of
-the little Hindu, with his host, who had questions to ask regarding
-Fulham, which had been his college.
-
-At four o’clock that afternoon, Keith Burgess, sitting in a large
-congregation in Dr. Harvey’s stately church, listening with consciously
-declining interest to a long statistical report which was being read
-from the pulpit, felt himself touched on the shoulder. Looking up he saw
-the Rev. Frank Nichols, pastor of a mission church in the city. He had
-known him well in college, a clear-eyed, well set-up young cleric.
-Nichols invited him by a word and look to follow him, and together they
-quietly left the assembly.
-
-When they had reached the street and the crisp autumn air, Keith shook
-himself with a motion of relief.
-
-“Is there anything more tiresome than such a succession of meetings?” he
-exclaimed. “Shall we walk? I am in a hurry to climb one of these hills.”
-
-“We must do it later,” returned Nichols; “but if you are not too tired I
-want to take you down this street and on a block or two to my church.
-The women are having a meeting there this afternoon.”
-
-“Oh, yes, I remember; but will it be in order for us to intrude?”
-
-“Yes, that will be all right. The brethren drop in quietly now and then,
-and are welcome. You needn’t stay long, for you are tired, I know by
-your face; but I tell you what it is, Burgess, I want you to hear Anna
-Mallison.”
-
-Anna Mallison! again that name which he had heard in the morning. It
-began to have a strangely musical quality to Keith’s ears.
-
-“I have heard her name. She is under appointment, I believe. A good
-speaker?”
-
-“No, not a particularly good speaker, but, as Dr. Harvey once said to
-me, an absolutely true nature. She is a young woman of strong
-personality, but singularly destitute of the desire to impress herself,
-and with a certain touch of the unconsciously heroic about her which you
-feel but cannot describe. I have never met a girl of precisely her type
-before, myself, and I am curious to know what you will think of her.”
-
-Entering the small, unpretentious church, Nichols and his friend sat
-down in the first row of seats, next to the central aisle. The room was
-nearly full; several women were upon the platform, from which the pulpit
-had been removed. One woman was speaking in a high-keyed, plaintive
-voice.
-
-It was not a stable or quiet audience; some were leaving their seats,
-others coming in, many turning their heads to catch glimpses of expected
-friends. Behind the young men came in two girls who remained standing
-close beside them in the aisle for a little space. One of these girls
-had pretty, fair hair and peachy cheeks; she was dressed in deep blue
-with touches of gilt cord and buttons, giving a kind of coquettish
-military jauntiness to her appearance. She wore a small round hat, of
-dark blue, which set off her pretty hair charmingly. Her manner was full
-of quick, eager animation; she smiled much and whispered to her
-companion continually. This companion stood motionless and unresponsive
-to the frequent appeals made to her, a quiet face and figure, a dress
-and bonnet of plain and unadorned black, ill suited to her youth; but it
-was her face and figure rather than the other to which Keith Burgess
-found his attention riveted. He knew intuitively, before Nichols told
-him, that this was Anna Mallison; but without this knowledge he felt
-that he must still have kept his eyes upon her face. The repose of it,
-the purity and elevation of the look, the serene, serious sweetness,
-were what he had seen in the faces of angels men have dreamed of rather
-than of women they have loved. But that she was after all a woman, with
-a woman’s sensitiveness and impressibility, he fancied was manifest
-when, having perhaps felt his look resting thus intently on her face,
-Anna turned and their eyes met in an instant’s direct, uninterrupted
-gaze, whereupon a deep flush rose and spread over the clear brown pallor
-of her face, and she turned, and bent to speak to her friend, as if to
-cover a slight confusion.
-
-The friend was Mally Loveland, and she was finding her position a
-particularly satisfactory one at the moment, being aware that Mr.
-Nichols was so placed as to take in the best points of her new fall
-costume in a side view. It was for him, not for Anna, that she had been
-using so much of nervous energy in the last few minutes.
-
-A lady who had left the platform for the purpose now came down the
-aisle, and, taking Anna Mallison by the hand with a word of welcome,
-conducted her to the front of the church. Mally, thus left alone,
-fluttered into a place made for her, seeming to discover Mr. Nichols as
-she turned, and smiling surprise and pleasure upon him.
-
-Just before Anna began to address the gathering, while a hymn was sung,
-Keith Burgess quietly made his way to a seat near the front of the
-church, at the side of the platform. He had excused himself to Nichols,
-who had then asked and obtained permission to sit beside Mally, an
-incident productive of a vast amount of conscious and fluttering delight
-on the part of that young lady.
-
-The austerity of Anna Mallison’s religious life had, under the influence
-of Mrs. Westervelt and her disciple, Mrs. Ingraham, relaxed within a few
-months to a marked degree. New conceptions of a relation of joyful
-assurance, of conscious acceptance with God, had risen within her, with
-the perception that religion was not exclusively prohibition, and
-conscience its only energy. Something of warmth and brightness had been
-infused into her chill, colourless, outward life, furthermore, by the
-intercourse with the Ingrahams which had followed her first visit. She
-was still in a manner ice-bound in her interior life and in her capacity
-for expression, but the ice was beginning to yield and here and there to
-break up a little.
-
-Thus, in the manner with which she spoke on this occasion, there was
-something of gentleness, and a less uncompromising self-restraint than
-when she had first spoken before an audience. She was still noticeably
-reserved, still innocent of the orator’s arts, or of conscious seeking
-to produce an effect; she still delivered herself of her simple message
-as if it were a duty to be discharged rather than an opportunity to be
-grasped. But through the coldness of all this neutrality there pierced
-now and then a ray of the radiant purity and loftiness of the girl’s
-inner nature, and this time those who heard her did not pity or
-patronize her in their thoughts.
-
-Keith Burgess watched her from the place he had chosen. Her tall, meagre
-figure in its nunlike dress was sharply outlined against a palely tinted
-window opposite, through which the October sun shone. She stood without
-support of table or desk, her hands falling straight at her sides, and
-looked directly at the people she addressed, fearless, since burdened
-with the sense of immortal destinies, not with a consciousness of
-herself. Keith noted the hand which fell against the straight black
-folds of her dress; its fine shape and delicate texture alone expressed
-her ladyhood. She could not have been called pretty, but her face thus
-seen in profile was almost beautiful, the hollowness of the cheeks and
-the stringent thinness of all the contours being less obvious.
-
-But Keith Burgess was not occupied with Anna’s face and figure to any
-serious degree. He knew instinctively that she was of good birth and
-breeding; he saw that, though severe and angular in person and manner,
-she was womanly, noble, refined. He divined, as no one could have failed
-to divine, the essential truth and purity of her nature. From her
-simple, unfeigned utterance he perceived the high earnestness and
-consecration with which she was entering upon missionary labour.
-Perceiving all those things, the young man looked and listened with a
-sudden, momentous question taking swift shape in his mind.
-
-He remained until the close of the meeting and met Anna, introducing
-himself, as he preferred doing. She received his few expressions of
-satisfaction in hearing her with scant response, and apparently with
-neither surprise or gratification. He did not like her the less for
-that.
-
-The Ingrahams found Keith sober and preoccupied at dinner that night,
-but, as he was to be chief speaker at the evening session of the
-convention, they thought this natural and in order. He was liked and was
-treated with especial consideration by them all, and even Mr. Ingraham
-did him the honour of going to the church to hear him speak. He had no
-sympathy with his wife’s penchant for missions, but he thought Burgess
-was “a nice little fellow,” and he wanted to see what kind of a speech
-he could make.
-
-The different members of the family and their guests came home one after
-another late in the evening, and, as they met, exchanged enthusiastic
-expressions concerning the eloquence of Keith Burgess. Mrs. Ingraham and
-the Board ladies thought the dear young man had a wonderful gift;
-Aroona-bia smiled tenderly in assent; the girls said he was simply
-perfect; and Mr. Ingraham admitted that, when he had worked off some of
-his “sophomoric effervescence,” he might make a good deal of an orator,
-and added, under his breath, it was nothing less than a crime to send a
-delicate, talented boy like that to make food for those barbarians,
-whose souls weren’t worth the sacrifice, even if he could save them,
-which he couldn’t.
-
-“Very true, dear,” rejoined his wife; “no man can save another’s soul;
-he can only lead him to the dear Lord’s feet.”
-
-The senator bit short a sharp reply, and just then Keith himself
-appeared, looking pale and exhausted, deprecating wearily the praise
-they were eager to bestow upon him, and begging to be excused if he
-withdrew at once to his room.
-
-As the sound of his footsteps was lost in the hall above, Mrs. Ingraham
-said:—
-
-“I am sorry Mr. Burgess was so tired. I invited Anna Mallison to come
-here for the night, and I wanted him to meet her. Mrs. Churchill has
-asked the opportunity for a little talk with Anna in the morning, and it
-will be convenient for her to be here. It is so far to her rooms, you
-know.”
-
-“I should think the house was full already, mamma,” remarked Gertrude
-Ingraham. “Where can we put her?”
-
-“Oh, she will not mind going up to the south room in the third story, my
-dear. I told Jane to have it in order.”
-
-Just then Miss Ingraham came into the house and Anna Mallison was with
-her.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XI
-
- The Moving Finger writes; and having writ,
- Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
- Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
- Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.
- —THE RUBAIYAT.
-
-
-In a few moments after he had reached his room Keith Burgess heard a
-knock at his door. Opening it, he found a neat, white-capped maid who
-bore a tray; entering demurely, she placed it upon a small table,
-remarking that Mrs. Ingraham thought he would need refreshment. The tray
-held an exquisite china service for one person, a pot of chocolate, and
-delicate rolls and cakes.
-
-“Miss Gertrude said I was to light your fire,” the maid said, proceeding
-to remove the fender and strike a match for the purpose.
-
-“Very well,” replied Keith, walking to the other side of the room. The
-night air was sharp, and he liked the notion.
-
-A moment later the maid withdrew, with the noiseless, unobtrusive step
-and movement of the well-trained servant, and Keith, when he turned,
-found the room already enlivened by the firelight. The table was drawn
-to a cosey corner on the hearth-rug, a deep cushioned easy-chair beside
-it. The fragrant steam of the hot chocolate rose invitingly, and as
-Keith threw himself with a long sigh of comfort into the chair, he
-detected another fragrance, and perceived, lying upon the plate, a
-single rose, and around the stem a slip of white paper. On the paper,
-Keith found a few words written: “You must let me thank you for the
-great uplift you have given me to-night. GERTRUDE INGRAHAM.”
-
-The young man, rising, put the flower in a clean glass vase on his
-mantle, and the note in the inner compartment of his writing-case,
-touching both with careful gentleness. Then, returning to the fireside,
-he fell to drinking and eating with cordial satisfaction in all this
-creature comfort; but as he ate and drank and grew warm, he was thinking
-steadily.
-
-He was not minded to flatter himself unduly, but what was he justified
-in inferring from Gertrude’s action and from other small signs which he
-had seen? Simply, that she liked him; honoured him above his due;
-probably idealized him; possibly, if he sought her deeper regard, might
-respond.
-
-He liked her thoroughly. What man would not? She was very pretty, and
-her beauty was enhanced by faultless dress,—no small thing in itself.
-Her manners were charming, with the charm of a sweet nature, aided by
-the polish of high social intercourse; she had the thousand little
-nameless, flattering graces of the woman, who, old or young,
-instinctively knows how to put a man at his best. Furthermore, Keith was
-not insensible to the background against which this girl was set. The
-aristocratic, powerful family connection, the magnificent home, the
-wealth and grace and ease of life, the fine manners and habits of
-thought and conduct belonging to the Ingrahams, were not matters of
-naught to him. He liked all these things. What was more, he knew
-perfectly that there was no element of temptation in them to lead him
-from his chosen path of altruism; Mrs. Ingraham’s well-known missionary
-ardour and Gertrude’s delicate sympathy were guarantee for that. They
-understood perfectly that within six months he would depart for an exile
-of perhaps a lifetime, in an alien and uncongenial land, where he would
-work under conditions of life repulsive and depressing to the last
-degree. Nevertheless, he believed without vanity that Gertrude Ingraham,
-knowing all, foreseeing all, could care for him.
-
-Keith Burgess had come, suddenly perhaps, but definitely, to the
-conclusion that he wanted a wife; and, furthermore, that he wanted a
-wife who would go out with him to India six months hence. Consequently,
-as he sat by the fire which Gertrude Ingraham had lighted for him, he
-pursued this line of thought with significant persistence.
-
-A curious condition, however, attended his reflections. While he sat by
-Gertrude’s fire, tasted her dainty food, inhaled the fragrance of the
-rose she had sent him, and thought of her in all her beauty and grace,
-he did not _see_ her. Instead of her figure, there stood constantly
-before the eye of his mind the tall, austere form of Anna Mallison, in
-the unsoftened simplicity of her manner and apparel, and in her
-passionless, unresponding repose. He thought of Gertrude Ingraham, but
-he saw Anna Mallison.
-
-She had travelled the way that he had come. Outwardly there might be
-coldness between them, but inwardly there must be the profoundest basis
-of sympathy. The same master conviction had won and held their two
-souls. He could not have known her better, it seemed to him, had he
-known her all his life. The things which would have repelled another man
-were what drew him all the more to her. It was not the passion of love
-which had so suddenly awakened within him, but a mighty longing for what
-Keith Burgess had thus far gone through life without,—a true and
-satisfying sympathy with his religious life and its aspirations. A girl
-like Gertrude Ingraham might accept his religion and the shape it took,
-but it would be because she cared for him; a girl like Anna Mallison
-might, perhaps, accept him, but it would be because of his religion and
-the shape it had taken. At this crisis of his life the enthusiasm for
-his calling ruled him as no human love could, and by it all the issues
-of life must stand or fall.
-
-Hours passed. The fire died out to a core of dull red embers, the single
-rose drooped on its stem, the tray of food stood despoiled and
-indifferent; the words of the small white paper were forgotten, and
-Keith Burgess, throwing himself upon his knees, prayed thus to God:—
-
-“Oh, my Lord, if thou wilt grant me so great a good as to win her for my
-wife, if thou wilt bless me in seeking her, if it is according to thy
-will that our lives should be united, and that together we should carry
-the cross of Christ to the lost, grant me, O Lord, a sign. But if it be
-not thy will, make this, too, known to me. Thy will I seek, O my God, in
-this, in all things.”
-
-Then, being wearied in brain and body, he slept heavily until morning.
-
-When, just before the breakfast hour, Keith stepped into the hall, he
-paused a moment, hearing a step on the stairs above him leading from the
-third story rooms. He advanced slowly to the head of the next staircase,
-and not until he reached it did he see who it was descending from above.
-Then, lifting his eyes, he saw Anna Mallison.
-
-Her presence in this house, at this hour, so surprising, so
-unlooked-for, so almost unnatural, since her home was elsewhere in the
-city—what did it mean? It was the sign he had craved. How else could he
-interpret it?
-
-The blood rushed in sudden flow to his heart, leaving his face
-colourless.
-
-Anna, not being surprised to meet him thus, was simply saying “Good
-morning,” and passing down the stairs. Keith put out his hand and
-stopped her going.
-
-So marvellous did her presence seem to him that he forthwith spoke out
-with unconventional directness the thought in his mind.
-
-“I think you do not know just what it means that you are here, in this
-house, this morning.”
-
-Mally Loveland would have flashed some pert rejoinder to a comment like
-this; Gertrude Ingraham, in a similar situation, would have looked at
-Keith Burgess with pretty wonder and smiling question.
-
-Anna Mallison, seeing the pallor and emotion of his face, and having
-become wonted to the supernatural interpretation of the small events of
-human life, only said gravely and without obvious surprise:—
-
-“I do not, perhaps, know all that it means. I trust it means no trouble
-to any one—to you.”
-
-“No,” he answered, a slight tremor in his voice; “I cannot believe that
-it does. You came under the divine leading, no matter how or why you
-seemed to yourself to come. You came as a sign. I had asked a sign of
-God. I did not dream of your presence in this house. Seeing you now, so
-unexpectedly, how can I doubt any further? It is the will of God.”
-
-Anna looked straight into Keith’s face, a deep shadow of perplexity on
-her own, but she did not speak.
-
-He smiled slightly.
-
-“You cannot understand, and no wonder, I am speaking to you as I have no
-right to—in the dark. It is for you to say whether, by and by, before I
-go to-morrow morning, I may explain my meaning and try to make clear to
-you what is so clear to me.”
-
-It was Anna now who grew perturbed, for the significance of his words,
-although veiled, was manifest. She turned and descended the stairs
-without speaking, Keith Burgess following her in silence. She did not
-herself understand her own sharp recoil and dismay, but all the maiden
-instinct of defence was in alarm within her.
-
-At the foot of the stairs they both paused for an instant, and Keith
-asked in a low voice:—
-
-“Will you walk with me on these hills somewhere, alone, this afternoon
-at four o’clock?”
-
-A sudden great sense of revolt arose in the girl’s heart, and broke in a
-faint sob upon her lips. She did not want to walk on the hills with
-him—with any man. She did not want to hear what he had to say. But he
-had said it was the will of God, their thus meeting. He had sought that
-awful, irrefragable will, and she had acted, it seemed, in obedience to
-it in coming to this house. What was she, to be found fighting against
-God?
-
-She felt herself constrained to say yes.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XII
-
- ... I made answer to my friend: “Of a surety I have now set my feet
- on that point of life beyond the which he must not pass who would
- return.”
-
- —_The New Life_, DANTE.
-
-
-“I ask you, Anna Mallison, to go out with me to my work in India in May,
-as my wife.”
-
-Thus Keith Burgess, having recounted the story of the lights and
-leadings of the past twenty-four hours.
-
-They were standing, and faced one another in a yellow beech wood where
-the sky above their heads was shut out by the sun-lightened paving of
-the clustering leaves.
-
-As she came down the woodland path Anna had broken off a long stem of
-goldenrod, and she held it hung like an inverted torch at her side, like
-a sad vestal virgin at some ancient funeral rites.
-
-“Forgive me for bringing this to you so swiftly. I know it seems hasty,
-perhaps unreasonably so. But to me no time or acquaintance, however
-extended, could change my wish. And, you see, my time is so very short,
-now!”
-
-Keith Burgess looked with his whole soul’s sincerity into Anna’s face,
-and the integrity of his purpose, of his whole nature, could not be
-mistaken.
-
-“It is not the suddenness, I think,” she replied slowly, with
-unconscious coldness; “like you, I feel that the great facts of God’s
-will and providence may be made clear to us instantly.”
-
-Then she hesitated and paused.
-
-“Please go on,” the young man said gently.
-
-“It is only,” she answered, with a pathos which a woman would have
-understood, “that I did not want to be married at all. I had never
-thought of it as being a thing I needed to be troubled about.”
-
-Keith Burgess smiled faintly at her frankness, which was not cruel of
-intention, he knew, but his smile touched Anna’s heart.
-
-“I did not wish to trouble you,” he said quietly.
-
-“Please do not misunderstand me. It was not the way to express it—my
-words sounded unkind, I am afraid. I should learn better ways of gentler
-speaking. Other women seem to have them naturally.”
-
-“I like it that you are honest, even if it hurts,” said Keith, steadily.
-
-“I did not mean that you trouble me—not exactly. Only that my life
-looked so plain and clear to me, and this is so surprising—it seems to
-change things so.”
-
-“Only by a little outward difference. I should not dare to ask you to go
-as my wife if I did not believe that you could work more effectively so,
-perhaps,” he added timidly, “even more happily, if I had strength and
-protection to give you, and a home of some sort, however poor, in that
-strange land.”
-
-Something in the quality of his voice brought swift tears to Anna’s
-eyes. It was so new to have some one thinking and caring for her ease
-and happiness. It had so long been her part to do this for others, to
-forget herself, and take it quite for granted that others should forget
-her.
-
-He saw his advantage, and sought to follow it.
-
-“The thought of marriage is unwelcome to you,” he said earnestly,
-“because it is foreign and unfamiliar. I think you are very different
-from most girls of your age, and have lived a different inward life,
-higher and purer, and free from personal aims in a wonderful way. But
-even so, regarding marriage I believe you are wrong. You think of it as
-an interruption, almost as a decline from the life you had meant to
-live. On the contrary, God has made it to be the very best life, the
-normal and fulfilled life, in which each is at the strongest and best.
-Where my work for God and men might fall utterly to the ground, you, by
-your purer insight, might help me to make it availing; and perhaps the
-poor service I could give might help a little to carry forward your
-work.”
-
-Anna lifted her hand in a slight, expressive gesture.
-
-“Look at the whole thing a moment,” cried Keith, with sudden boldness,
-“as if you were not you and I not I. Here are two persons, man and
-woman, of the same age within two or three years, led of the same Spirit
-to the same purpose and consecration and calling; both ready to go out
-to the same unknown land, lonely and apart, and there to work as best
-they may far from any human being they have ever seen or known. Such
-were we. And now God, looking upon us, sees that each needs the other,
-and in his good providence he leads us here to this place. I see you,
-and instantly my heart goes out to you as the companion, the other self,
-I need. My soul recognizes in you its counterpart. God, in answer to my
-prayer that he will make known his will, suddenly, most unexpectedly, as
-I start on the new day, brings you before me before I have spoken or met
-with man or woman, as the first, best light of morning. What does God
-mean? Ask yourself, Anna Mallison, ask him. For my own part, I cannot
-doubt his will. I have no right to thrust my conviction upon you
-forcibly, but to me this is as clearly the call of God as my call to the
-foreign field or to the divine service.”
-
-They were still standing face to face, and while Keith spoke Anna looked
-into his eyes with the serious directness of one listening to an
-argument of weighty but impersonal import. With all his conviction and
-earnestness, he was as passionless as she, save for his religious
-passion. A strange wooing!
-
-Anna turned now and walked on along the mossy path in silence.
-
-“Take time to consider,—all the time you need. Do not try to decide
-now,” said Keith, walking at her side. She made no reply; in fact, she
-did not realize that he spoke. Her mind was working in intense
-concentration.
-
-Keith Burgess alone she would have turned away without a moment’s doubt,
-but he had, or seemed to have, a mighty Ally. She did not fear him in
-rejecting nor desire him in accepting, but to reject God!—that she
-feared; to accept God in every manifestation of his will was her deepest
-desire.
-
-But what if Keith were wrong in his conviction? Her pale face flushed
-with a flame of indignation as she thought of it, that a man, whom she
-had never met or known, sought or desired, could suddenly invade the
-very citadel of her will, and summon her to surrender her very life into
-his keeping, in the great Name, when, perhaps, he was self-deceived, was
-coming in his own name, to do his own will. She looked aside at Keith’s
-face as he walked by her, in sudden distrust. It wore no flush of
-passion, and in the blue eyes was the light less of earthly love than of
-heavenly. It was a look pure and high, such as a man might fitly wear as
-he approached the sacrament. A sudden awe fell upon Anna, as if she were
-looking upon one who had talked with God, and her eyes fell, the lashes
-weighted with heavy, unshed tears.
-
-“He is better than I,” she thought; “a man like this could not lead me
-wrong.”
-
-White and cold, and with a strange sinking at her heart, she turned to
-him soon, and stopped where she stood.
-
-He looked into her face, his own suffused with emotion. She held out
-both her hands, the goldenrod, which she had held until now, falling to
-the ground. Keith Burgess took them in both his, and Anna felt that his
-hands trembled far more than did her own.
-
-“I believe you were right,” she said simply. “It is the will of God.”
-
-He kissed her then on her brow and on her lips, the salutation
-disturbing her no more than if he had been her brother.
-
-“Please, will you let me go home now, alone, Mr. Burgess?” she asked
-humbly, like a child.
-
-Keith was disappointed, but consented at once.
-
-“Only,” he said, “you should not call me Mr. Burgess. My name for you is
-Keith.”
-
-“Not yet,” she answered. “In outward things and ways remember, please,
-that we are perfect strangers. It is only in the spirit that we have
-met.”
-
-Then she left him, and Keith Burgess stood watching the tall, dark
-figure swiftly receding down the wood walk in the yellow light. His look
-was wistful. He longed to go after her, but he forebore.
-
-Anna hastened down into the city streets and to the hospital where she
-was on duty every afternoon. There was plenty of work awaiting her, and
-not for a moment was she free or left alone to think her own thoughts.
-Six o’clock found her back in her own rooms at Mrs. Wilson’s. They were
-low and dull after the fine spaciousness of the Ingraham house, but that
-was a matter of little note to Anna.
-
-Mally was there with a friend whom she had brought home with her to tea.
-Anna washed the dishes while these two diligently revised the trimming
-of their hats which in some particular, wholly imperceptible to Anna’s
-untrained eye, fell below the standard of latest fashion.
-
-It was not until the girls left the house, at seven o’clock, and all her
-duties, trivial and homely and wearying, were done, that Anna, alone at
-last, could yield to the overpowering weariness which was upon her.
-
-She carried the lamp, whose flame seemed to pierce her aching eyes, into
-the next room, and then, lying on the hard haircloth sofa with her head
-propped on one hand, she closed her eyes, thankful at last to be where
-she could let a few tears fall with no one to wonder or question. The
-quiet patience inbred in the constitution of the girl’s nature
-controlled her mood; there was no struggle of revolt from the vow she
-had taken and the future to which she had pledged herself, but an
-unspeakable homesickness had taken possession of her. She liked and
-reverenced Keith Burgess, no doubt she would love him very truly by and
-by, but just now he seemed to have turned her out of her own life and to
-have taken control where she had hitherto, with God, been supreme. It
-all gave her the same feeling she had suffered when, after her father’s
-death, they had been obliged to give up their home for the coming in of
-a new leader for the little flock her father had led so long. She knew
-there was no real analogy between the two experiences, she could reason
-clearly against herself, but she could not control the piteous
-heart-sickness which settled down upon her in the dim room, in the
-silent, empty house.
-
-Many women have suffered a reaction like this in the hour of committing
-themselves, from the fear that this is not the supreme love, the love of
-the lifetime; the misgiving lest this man is not, after all, the man for
-whom they can forsake all others and unto whom they can cleave with a
-perfect heart to the end. These were not, however, the considerations
-which weighed upon Anna Mallison. It was, as she had herself expressed
-it, very simply, that she had not thought about marriage at all. She had
-no ideal of manhood in her mind from this point of view. It was not that
-she craved the love of a stronger man or a man abler or better in any
-way than Keith Burgess; she merely preferred no man. She had not
-awakened to love; the deeper forces of her woman’s nature were sleeping
-still.
-
-But there was not for an instant, in Anna’s mind, the thought of
-withdrawing from her plighted word to Keith. She believed that he had
-come to her, as he believed, under the divine light and leading. She
-turned to walk in the new path marked out for her, faithfully and
-obediently, but pausing a moment to look with aching eyes and heart down
-the dear, familiar path which she was leaving. But Anna was too tired to
-think long, or even to feel, and so fell asleep shortly, in the stiff,
-angular position in which she lay, the tears undried upon her cheeks.
-The sound of the knocker on the house door, hard, metallic, but without
-resonance, suddenly roused her, and she sprang up hastily, remembering
-that Mrs. Wilson had gone to the great missionary meeting, and that she
-was alone in the house.
-
-She took her lamp and went down the narrow stairs into the bit of entry.
-When she opened the door, Keith Burgess himself was standing there.
-
-He looked at her, smiling half mischievously, and she felt a sudden
-warmth at her heart as she met the sweet, true look of his eyes.
-
-“Didn’t you ever expect to see me again?” he said, and laughed as he
-stepped into the house and closed the door.
-
-She smiled, too, and held out her hand. He took it and kissed it in a
-gallant way, which she found wholly wonderful, being quite unused to
-such feats, and unread in romances.
-
-“It will be a bore, won’t it,” he went on quaintly, “this having a man
-around to bother you? Perhaps I ought not to have come, but, you see, I
-go in the morning, and I thought you might have something to say to me
-before I left.”
-
-“Yes,” Anna said; adding naïvely, “but where shall I take you? It is so
-new. I have not had a call like this before.” She felt shy about
-inviting him up to her own sitting room.
-
-“In there?” he queried, pointing to the door of Mrs. Wilson’s drear
-little closed parlour.
-
-“Oh, no,” replied Anna, “Mrs. Wilson never lets us go in there. It is
-too fine for anything but funerals and—” she was about to say weddings,
-but broke off confused, and they both laughed, looking at each other
-like two children with their innocent eyes.
-
-“I can sit here,” said Keith, pointing, as he spoke, to the steep,
-narrow stairs. There was a red and green striped carpet on them, and a
-strip of grey linen over for protection. The little entry was bare of
-furniture, save for the small uncovered table on which Anna had placed
-her lamp.
-
-“Very well,” she said, “I will borrow a chair from Mrs. Wilson’s
-kitchen;” and she forthwith brought out a clean wooden chair painted a
-light yellow, and placed it at the side of the stairway for herself,
-there being no room at the foot.
-
-“I was going to say,” remarked Keith, musingly, as Anna sat down, “that
-these stairs are rather wide, and if Mrs. Wilson is particular about
-lending her chairs, I could make room for you here,” and he looked at
-her soberly between the stair-rails. Anna shook her head, but suddenly
-there came over them both a sense of the ludicrousness of the little
-scene they would have presented, had any one been able to look in upon
-them, and they laughed again, as Anna had not laughed since she was a
-child, something of exhaustion aiding to break down her wonted
-restraint.
-
-“It is so funny, oh, it is so funny!” she cried, “to see you looking out
-between those bars as if you were a lion in a cage. Just think of the
-people at the meeting! What if they were to see us two. Wouldn’t they
-think it was dreadful?”
-
-“Would you mind putting your hand into the cage?” asked Keith. “I assure
-you it is perfectly safe. This is not the man-eating variety.”
-
-“You are sure?” Anna asked, with a woman’s instinctive coquetry swiftly
-developed, but giving her hand.
-
-“It is such a beautiful hand,” he said, laying it very gently on his own
-right hand, which he had placed on the stair beside him, and at this,
-the first word of flattery which any man had ever spoken to her face,
-Anna blushed and grew positively pretty, as he looked at her.
-
-All this laughing and light nonsense between them, did for her what a
-season of prayer and serious discussion of their situation could not
-have accomplished. Anna felt, with a sudden sense of comfort and
-release, that this new relation was not exclusively a solemn religious
-ordinance, but a dear human companionship, the joyousness of simple,
-upright hearts, and the sympathy of kindred minds.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIII
-
- Now die the dream, or come the wife,
- The past is not in vain,
- For wholly as it was your life
- Can never be again,
- My dear,
- Can never be again.
- —W. E. HENLEY.
-
-
-At Anna’s earnest request, Keith Burgess consented that their engagement
-should be announced to no one save his mother until spring. Mally
-observed the regularity of Keith’s weekly letters, and attempted to
-tease Anna into acknowledging that there was “something in it”; but
-Anna’s dignity, which on occasion had its effect even upon Mally’s
-vivacious self-confidence, ended this line of attack in short order. A
-few weeks after Keith left Burlington Anna received the following note:—
-
- MY DEAR MISS MALLISON: My son, Keith Burgess, has confided in me the
- fact that you have consented to enter into an understanding with him
- which, if Providence should favour, will doubtless eventually
- terminate in marriage. Your name has been mentioned to me by members
- of our Woman’s Foreign Missionary Board, and I am led to believe
- that my dear son has been graciously led of the Lord in his choice
- of a companion in the path of duty upon which he has entered. That
- my son is a godly young man and of an amiable disposition, I need
- hardly take this occasion to tell you. Similarity of views and of
- religious experience would seem to furnish a satisfactory basis for
- a union productive of mutual good and the glory of God.
-
- Trusting for further acquaintance before you depart for foreign
- shores,
-
- I am yours very truly,
- SARAH KEITH BURGESS.
-
-
-If this letter were stiff or cold, Anna, not looking for warmth and
-freedom, did not miss them. She knew that Keith was the only son of his
-mother, and she a widow. She took it for granted that they were poor
-like herself; she had not known many people who were other than poor,
-none who were in the ranks of missionary candidates. Such a thing would
-have seemed singularly incongruous because unfamiliar. She had a
-distinct picture of Mrs. Burgess, whom she knew to be in delicate
-health, as a woman of sweet, saintly face and subdued manner, living in
-a small white cottage in an obscure street of Fulham, perhaps not unlike
-the Burlington street in which Mrs. Wilson’s house stood. She fancied
-her living alone—indeed, Keith had told her that this was so—in a plain
-and humble fashion, a quiet, devoted, Christian life, a type with which
-her experience both in Haran and Burlington church circles had made her
-familiar. There were some geraniums in the little sitting room window,
-she thought, and it was a sunny room with braided mats over the carpet,
-and a comfortable cat asleep on a patchwork cushion near the stove.
-There would be a small stand beside Mrs. Burgess’s rocking-chair with a
-large Bible and a volume or two of Barnes’s “Notes,” a spectacle case
-and a box of cough medicine; perhaps it was a bottle, Anna was not sure,
-but she inclined to the hoarhound drops, and almost smelt them when she
-thought of the room. She imagined the dear old lady carefully and
-prayerfully inditing the epistle to herself, and thought it most kind of
-her, and wrote thus to Keith.
-
-The winter passed for Anna in hard and unintermitting work. Mally
-allowed herself lighter labours, and, having raised her eyes with
-admiration to the Rev. Frank Nichols, now shook herself free as far as
-she could conveniently from her more frivolous Burlington friends, and
-renewed her earlier interest in religion with extraordinary zeal. She
-felt that Dr. Harvey’s church was too worldly for her ideals, and that
-Mr. Nichols’s beautiful work among the humbler classes offered far more
-opportunity for religious devotion. Her regular attendance at all the
-meetings of the church was a great satisfaction to Anna, who looked on
-with characteristic blindness, glad to see her friend returning to a
-more consistent walk and conversation.
-
-The letters which passed between Anna and Keith would hardly have been
-called love-letters. They dealt with religious experience and views of
-“divine truth,” for the most part. Not even at start or finish of any
-letter was place found for the endearing trifling common to lovers. This
-correspondence might all have been published, omitting nothing—without
-dashes or asterisks, even in that day when it was thought unseemly to
-reveal the innermost secrets of hearts, and to speak upon the housetops
-that which had been whispered in the ear. There were few personal
-allusions on the part of either, beyond Keith’s occasional mention of
-his health being below the mark. At Christmas Keith sent Anna a volume
-of “Sacred Poetry”; on the fly-leaf he had written:—
-
- ANNA MALLISON,
- From her sincere friend and well-wisher,
- KEITH BURGESS.
-
-He had abstained from warmer terms on account of Anna’s wish to withhold
-the knowledge of their engagement for the present.
-
-Poor Anna, having nothing wherewith to provide a gift for her lover, the
-small savings for her education being now nearly exhausted, made shift
-to sew together sheets of note-paper, on which she copied her favourite
-passages from Paley and Butler and various theologians. This humble
-offering was sent to Keith, who was highly gratified, and treasured the
-little gift affectionately.
-
-For two weeks following Christmas Anna received no letter, but she was
-not greatly surprised, as she knew Keith was to start early in January
-for a tour of various New England towns, where he was expected to
-present the cause of Foreign Missions. He was now completing his last
-year in the theological seminary near Boston, and his unusual gifts in
-public speech induced the faculty to send him out frequently on such
-missions.
-
-At half-past eight of a zero morning in the second week of January,
-Anna, with her threadbare black jacket buttoned tight to her throat, her
-arm full of books, was leaving Mrs. Wilson’s door on her way to school,
-when she saw a boy stop in front of the house with a telegram in his
-hand. Taking it, she found, greatly amazed, that it was for herself—the
-first telegram she had ever received.
-
-The boy, accustomed to see people receive his messages with changing
-colour and nervous hands, glanced at her coolly, then turned and went
-his way back, plunging his hands into his pockets against the biting
-cold. In the little entry Anna opened the despatch. It was dated
-Portland, Maine, and signed by Keith Burgess. It told her that he was
-very ill; that he was alone, it being impossible for his mother to go to
-him. It asked her to come to him at once.
-
-Anna’s mind, in the half-hour which followed, worked with intense
-rapidity. She found from a newspaper that by a ten o’clock train she
-could reach Boston that evening, and she decided to take that train, and
-go on to Portland by night. She wrote a note to Mally, in which she told
-her of her engagement to Keith and of what had occurred. She packed a
-satchel with what was necessary, and last of all drew out of her little
-square writing-desk, where she kept it carefully locked away, an
-envelope containing all the ready money she possessed. She found that
-there remained exactly twelve dollars. This, to Anna, was a large amount
-of money, and, although her heart sank a little at the thought of
-spending so much at once, the prospect for the weeks to come before she
-could draw upon her mother again being blank enough, she knew that this
-was justified by the emergency.
-
-Soon after nine Anna again departed from the house, the books replaced
-by the satchel, the worn and faded black gown and jacket unchanged,
-starting alone and unsped upon her long and anxious journey.
-
-She went first to the Ingrahams, walking the long mile in the sharp
-cold, carrying her heavy bag with a benumbed hand, since the reckless
-extravagance of a carriage might not for a moment be considered.
-
-Mrs. Ingraham was ill and could not see Anna, but her daughter Gertrude
-came into the parlour and greeted her cordially. The issues of the hour
-were too strong upon Anna to permit any trace of embarrassment or
-personal feeling in her manner, although she felt that it would have
-been easier to say what she felt must be said, to Mrs. Ingraham.
-
-“Will you be so good as to tell your mother,” she began, “that I could
-not go away on this journey, which I must take, without explaining it to
-her? She has been so very kind. We did not mean to announce it quite so
-soon, but Mr. Burgess, whom I met here in the fall, and I are engaged to
-be married.” Anna was too preoccupied to perceive the flush which slowly
-and steadily rose in Gertrude Ingraham’s face.
-
-“We expect to go out together in May,” Anna proceeded. “Mr. Burgess has
-not been strong for several months, perhaps he is never very strong; but
-this morning I have a telegram from him asking me to come to Portland,
-as he is very ill, and his mother cannot be with him.”
-
-“Shall you go, Miss Mallison?” asked Gertrude, with visible constraint.
-
-Anna looked at her then, surprised, and instantly felt the indefinable
-coldness of her reception of her little story.
-
-“I am on my way to take the ten o’clock train east,” she said simply,
-her voice faltering slightly. For all her courage and steadiness, her
-heart was crying out for a little touch of another woman’s gentleness;
-the way before her was not easy, and there was a sense of loneliness
-upon her which began to make itself acutely felt.
-
-Gertrude Ingraham rose and said:—
-
-“I am so very sorry for Mr. Burgess. We liked him very much. You must
-let me go and speak to mamma a moment, for I know she would wish to give
-you some message. I will not keep you long.” And she hurried from the
-room.
-
-Anna sat alone and watched the minute-hand of a French clock on the
-mantel moving slowly along the gilded dial, a heavy oppression on her
-spirit. She had not consciously expected sympathy, but Gertrude’s
-aloofness hurt her strangely.
-
-Some one came softly into the room behind her just then, so softly that
-she turned rather because she felt a presence than because she heard a
-step. It was Oliver Ingraham.
-
-The peculiar personality of this mysterious man inspired Anna always
-with an aversion hardly less than terror, and although she had become
-familiar with his presence in her frequent visits, it had never become
-less painful to her. Indeed, latterly, a new element of discomfort had
-been added to her feeling toward him, since he had shown a marked
-disposition to follow her about, and intrude a manner of unpleasant
-gallantry upon her.
-
-He greeted her now almost effusively, and, perceiving that she was
-prepared as if for a journey, asked at once:—
-
-“Not going away? The painful hour of parting is not here yet, surely?”
-
-Anna made a vague and hurried reply.
-
-“Because, you know,” pursued Oliver, lowering his voice to an offensive
-tone of familiarity, and maliciously mimicking the phraseology of his
-stepmother’s friends, “we could hardly spare our dear young sister yet;
-she is becoming really indispensable to us,” and he held out one long
-hand as if to clasp that of Anna, leering at her repulsively.
-
-Anna rose hurriedly and moved away from him, her heart beating hard with
-fear and antipathy. To her great relief she heard Gertrude Ingraham’s
-step in the hall, and Anna, with her face paler than it had been, met
-her at the door, while Oliver slunk away to a little distance, and
-appeared to be looking out of a window unconcernedly.
-
-Gertrude Ingraham carried a pocket-book open in her hand, and as she
-spoke she looked at it, and not at Anna.
-
-“Mamma is so very sorry, and sends her best wishes and hopes for Mr.
-Burgess’s quick recovery. She hopes you will let her know; and, Miss
-Mallison,” Gertrude was evidently embarrassed, “mamma says it is such a
-long and expensive journey, and she wishes you would just take this with
-you to make everything as comfortable as may be.” And she drew out a
-crisp twenty-dollar note, which she essayed to put in Anna’s hand.
-
-Anna had not known before that she was proud. She did not know it now,
-but Gertrude Ingraham did, and was touched with keen compunction. She
-understood that her mother would have been more successful.
-
-It was only the swift, unconscious protest of Anna’s hand, the pose of
-her head as she turned to go, and the quiet finality with which she
-said:—
-
-“Will you thank Mrs. Ingraham for me, and say I did not need it? She is
-always kind. Good-by.”
-
-A moment later Gertrude watched from the window the slender figure in
-its faded, scanty black, with the heavy, old-fashioned satchel, passing
-down the windswept lawn, under the grey and bitter sky.
-
-Within was warmth and luxury and protection, and yet Gertrude’s heart
-leaped with a strong passion of desire to forego all this and take Anna
-Mallison’s place, that so she might start on that long journey which
-should bring her, at its end, to the side of Keith Burgess.
-
-Small, unseen tragedies in women’s lives such as this, never once,
-perhaps, expressed, and never forgotten, work out the heroic hypocrisies
-which women learn, since such is their allotted part.
-
-“You might have known better than to offer money to that girl,” Oliver’s
-high, shrill voice behind Gertrude said. “She’s as confoundedly proud as
-all the other saints. But she’ll have to come down yet. We shall see
-some day.”
-
-Thus unpleasantly interrupted in her reverie, Gertrude rose impatiently,
-and left the room.
-
-It was eight o’clock that evening when Anna reached Boston. Dismayed by
-the small remainder of money left her after her railway ticket was
-bought, she had not dared to spend anything for food through all the
-day, and had tried to think the cold, dry bread, a few slices of which
-she had put into her satchel, was sufficient for her needs.
-
-In Boston a change of stations made a cab a necessity if she would not
-lose the Portland train, and this she must not do, since she had
-telegraphed Keith from Burlington that she would be with him in the
-morning. Anna alighted at the station of the Maine Railroad and heard
-the cabman say that his fee was two dollars with a sensation hardly less
-than terror. She paid him without a word, then entering the station, sat
-down in the glare of light amid the confusion of the moving crowd, and
-looked into her poor little purse, a sharp contraction at her throat as
-she counted, and found less than three dollars left.
-
-The train would leave in fifteen minutes. Anna went with as brave a face
-as she could manage, to the office, and asked what was the fare to
-Portland. The curt reply of the agent proved the glaring insufficiency
-of her small remaining store. Trembling with weakness and dismay, Anna
-turned back to her place and sat down, closing her eyes while she
-prayed. She had friends in missionary circles in Boston, who would
-gladly have lent her money, but time failed to seek them out. She
-thought, as she prayed, of the money which Gertrude Ingraham had
-proffered in the morning, and, humbled, asked forgiveness for the
-ignorance and pride which had led her to reject it. The thought of Keith
-watching, perhaps in vain, for her coming in his loneliness and great
-need, perhaps in his extremity, overwhelmed her with pity and penitence.
-Having prayed for forgiveness and for guidance, and for a way out, and a
-way to Keith that night, she opened her eyes, astonished for the moment
-at the harsh light and the motley scene about her, her actual
-surroundings having been for the time forgotten in the complete
-abstraction of her mind. She gazed for a few moments languidly before
-her, her face so colourless and sorrowful that many persons who passed
-her looked back at her in curiosity and concern. Presently the space
-before her became clear; there was a pause in the fluctuating course of
-passers-by, and nothing interposed, for the instant, between her and the
-window of the ticket office.
-
-An elderly gentleman in a long travelling cloak and silk hat, carrying a
-snug and shiny travelling bag, came up to the window with the confident
-and assured bearing of the experienced traveller. Anna heard him ask for
-a ticket to Portland. She recognized him at once, for it was Dr. Durham,
-the missionary secretary who had once been her father’s guest.
-
-When he turned from the window, the doctor found the pale, quiet girl in
-black standing just behind him; she spoke to him with a radiant light in
-her face, such as he had never met before. To herself, Anna was saying
-with a sense of exquisite joy in her heart, “God is near,” feeling
-herself close touched by the Almightiness. To her father’s friend she
-told her story and her need in few words, without hesitation or doubt,
-declaring, necessarily, her engagement to Keith Burgess, and the fact
-that she was hastening to reach him on account of his serious illness.
-
-“Amazing, my dear,” exclaimed Dr. Durham, taking off his hat and wiping
-the large shining baldness of his head, “amazing indeed! I am myself on
-my way to Burgess, and we can make the journey together. Poor fellow! It
-is a sad case. I had a telegram yesterday, but it was impossible to
-start until to-night. It seems he has had a hemorrhage. But we will talk
-all this over on the way,” and the good old gentleman made haste to buy
-Anna’s ticket, which he said it was only the part of the Society to do,
-and she must never mention it again. This done, they hastened on
-together to the train.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIV
-
- How true it is that our destinies are decided by nothings, and that
- a small imprudence helped by some insignificant accident, as an
- acorn is fertilized by a drop of rain, may raise the tree on which
- perhaps we and others shall be crucified....
-
- Poor, sorely tried Faith! She has but one way out of the
- difficulty—the word Mystery. It is in the origins of things that the
- great secret of destiny lies hidden, although the breathless
- sequence of after events has often many surprises for us too.—AMIEL.
-
-
-The incredible luxury of her breakfast the next morning in the hotel in
-Portland made an impression upon Anna which she could never forget,
-since she was, in fact, very nearly starved. The rich coffee, the
-delicate and sumptuous food, the noiseless assiduity of the sleek black
-waiters, the great glittering room, all partook of the marvellous to her
-exhausted senses.
-
-Then she was conducted through endless passages where her feet trod in
-baffling silence upon the lanes of thick crimson carpet, for a few
-moments she was alone in a room to bathe and prepare herself, and then a
-low-voiced woman, stout and motherly, met her at the door, and she was
-led to Keith.
-
-He was lying, fully dressed, on a broad velvet sofa, in a richly
-furnished room, which was full of flowers, and bright with the light of
-the snowy winter morning and a blazing wood fire. His eyes were
-luminous, his colour better than she had known it, and he did not look
-ill. The nurse left them alone, and they met with unfeigned but quiet
-happiness.
-
-“Was I selfish to ask you to come this long journey, just for me?” Keith
-asked anxiously, holding her hands. Anna found his hot and tremulous,
-and soothed them with a slow, strong motion of her own.
-
-“No, not selfish,” she said.
-
-“You see, I am not very ill; in fact, I am sure the worst is over now,
-and I shall be just as well as ever in a few weeks; but I had a terrible
-cold and coughing so there was a little hemorrhage,—simply from the
-throat, we understand it now,—but at the time the doctor himself was
-alarmed, and so was I. If I had known how slight an affair it really
-was, I should not have asked so much of you, but I cannot be sorry,
-Anna. I shall have to stay right here for several weeks, they say, and
-it will be everything to have you near me, don’t you see?”
-
-“I am most grateful to be with you, Keith.”
-
-“And will you talk to me about India, and about our home there? I have
-thought of it so continually since I have been sick. It almost seems as
-if I had seen it, and you in it. I love it already, Anna. Please say
-that you do too, just a little.”
-
-“Tell me about it. Of course I shall love it.”
-
-“It is all made of bamboo, you know, the house, and perched up in the
-air, and there are great, wide rooms, with cool shade, and a sound of
-water flowing; there are broad bamboo lattices at the windows, and it is
-still and peaceful, and the servants go about softly, and you are there
-in a white dress, Anna,—oh, how I want to see you in that white dress!
-It has tiny borders of gilt and coloured embroidery, and it suits you so
-much better than this hard black gown. Will you have a dress made soon
-like that?”
-
-Anna smiled and pressed her hand over Keith’s eyes, which were full of
-childish imploring. She was beginning to see his weakness with a new
-pain at her heart.
-
-She sat with him an hour, and then, the doctor coming in, she was sent
-to her room to sleep until noon, while Keith should rest, and have an
-interview with Dr. Durham, their fatherly friend.
-
-When Anna reached her room, she found on a table a large jar of roses,
-rich in colour and fragrance, and a basket of hothouse grapes. The day
-was bitterly cold, and it was snowing hard, the thick snowflakes melting
-against the broad, thick glass of her window.
-
-The extravagant luxury of such fruit and flowers in this depth of
-midwinter astonished and disturbed her. There was no one of whom she
-could ask questions, but how could it be right for Keith to spend so
-much money? To remain for weeks in such a hotel as this seemed to Anna
-to involve an impossible expenditure, and she lay down on the great
-luxurious bed with a bewildering confusion of questions to which no
-answers were forthcoming. From the pinching cold and hunger of yesterday
-to the luxurious ease of to-day was like the transformation of a fairy
-tale; and Keith, with his weak hands, and his bright eyes, and his
-wistful eagerness was formidable in his appeal to her. She did not know
-what might be coming, but she felt anew that she had surrendered herself
-and was pledged now to do another’s will.
-
-At noon Anna had a moment’s conference with Keith’s physician. He
-assured her that there was a remarkable change for the better in his
-patient,—in fact, that he looked now for a speedy convalescence, adding
-that her coming had produced a most favourable effect.
-
-The whole afternoon of that January day, Keith and Anna were left alone
-together. The nurse, glad of a brief release, took her “afternoon out”;
-the various doctors of medicine and divinity betook themselves to other
-places; and word was given the page that Mr. Burgess could not receive
-visitors, so that flowers and cards accumulated, and interruptions were
-postponed. There was justice in what Keith said, that they had never yet
-had a chance to get acquainted, and now the afternoon was turned to good
-account.
-
-Experience and instinct made Anna a nurse. Keith was sure he had never
-been so wholly comfortable as she made him, and the effect of her
-personal presence was like health and healing to him.
-
-“How dear you are, Anna, and how absolutely necessary to me,” he said
-fondly, as he watched her quiet way of preparing his food and medicine.
-“I foresee plainly that I can never let you leave me.”
-
-When twilight gathered and the room grew dusky, they had no lights, but
-sat by the fire, Anna on a low seat beside the sofa, and silence fell.
-When Keith spoke again, his voice betrayed a rising emotion, and an
-appeal before which she trembled within herself.
-
-“Anna,” he said, “why should you leave me again? Why need we be
-separated any more? I need you. I can get strong far faster with you
-beside me, for you inspire me with a new life. Everything seems sure and
-strong when you are with me. But I want you wholly mine without fear or
-favour. Marry me, dear, to-night, to-morrow! What have we to wait for?
-It is only three months before our marriage was to be, you know.”
-
-Concealing her agitation, and speaking quite steadily and soothingly,
-Anna answered:—
-
-“But you know, Keith, I must go back in a few weeks, and finish my work
-in the school and hospital. I have still so much to learn before I can
-make a really useful missionary, and so little time before May to learn
-it in. You know I have cut my preparation short a year, now, so that we
-may go out together. I am sure we ought to wait until May.”
-
-“Oh, Anna!”
-
-The words, so spoken, had all the force of an inarticulate cry from the
-man’s heart. They told what hours of argument and pleading could not
-have conveyed,—the yearning need for her presence and her upholding.
-Anna lifted her eyes to Keith’s, and saw that they were dim with tears.
-She did not feel them to be unmanly tears, knowing his physical
-exhaustion, and they moved her profoundly. She rose and walked to the
-window, looking out into the snowy street. Again that sense that her
-life was taken out of her own hands came upon her; she felt like those
-of old who feared as they entered into the cloud. She feared, but,
-nevertheless, she went back to Keith, and said, very gently, but without
-hesitation:—
-
-“If we should be married to-morrow night, would that please you, Keith?”
-
-He caught her hand and pressed it to his cheek with pathetic eagerness.
-
-“Oh, my girl, am I wrong to move you to do this for my sake? Forgive me,
-leave me, if I am leading you faster, farther, than you wish to go.”
-
-“I will not leave you, Keith,” Anna replied, taking her low seat again
-at his side, “never, any more. It is the will of God.”
-
-The next day Keith was much stronger. He was able to walk about the
-room, to sit up for an hour at a time, and to talk and plan to his
-heart’s desire. His spirits were high, and he was full of irrepressible
-happiness, and yet a wistful, grateful question always rose in his eyes
-when they rested upon Anna. The marriage was arranged to take place in
-Keith’s room at six o’clock. Dr. Durham had consented to remain and
-perform the ceremony, returning to Boston that night. Keith’s physician
-had interposed no objection to the plan, and even regarded the
-inevitable excitement as likely to be a benefit rather than an injury to
-his patient.
-
-“He needs you, Miss Mallison,” he remarked with an emphasis which Anna
-felt to be peculiarly significant, finding him a man of few words.
-
-It was five o’clock, and Anna had gone to her room to make ready for the
-ceremony. At Keith’s urgent desire, and by the aid of one of the many
-efficient friends whom the circumstances of his illness had gathered
-around him, a white dress had been ordered for her. She found it now,
-lying in delicate tissue wrappings upon her bed, and beside it a box of
-orange flowers whose fragrance filled the room.
-
-She was becoming a little inured to luxury; colour, warmth, perfume,
-delight to sense, seemed here to be the natural order. A vague
-perplexity lay below it all, but she had ceased now to ask questions.
-
-As she bent to take her wedding-gown from its wrappings, some one
-knocked at her door. It was Dr. Durham. There was a shade of anxiety
-upon his kind old face, and he asked her to come with him into an alcove
-at the end of the hall. With an uneasy stirring at her heart, Anna
-followed him. Keith’s physician was standing by a table in the alcove,
-evidently awaiting them.
-
-Anna looked into his face, waiting without speaking for what he might
-have to say. Surely it was impossible that Keith could be worse; it was
-not ten minutes since she left him.
-
-“Miss Mallison,” said the doctor, gravely, “I have been having a little
-conference with your friend, Dr. Durham, and we find that there is a
-chance that you may be under some misapprehension of the actual
-conditions under which—under which you are about to take an important
-step.”
-
-“I did not understand it myself, my dear girl, until within the last
-hour,” interposed Dr. Durham; “and I really don’t know now what we ought
-to do. Still, perfect frankness, perfect understanding, you know, may be
-better for all parties.”
-
-The good old man was visibly oppressed with the burden of the part he
-had to bear in the interview. Motionless Anna stood, only turning her
-eyes from one man to the other in troubled wonder.
-
-“The facts are simply these,” the physician took up the word again, “and
-I am greatly surprised, and I may add greatly pained, that they have not
-apparently been understood before. Mr. Burgess will recover from this
-attack, and may have years yet of moderate health, but as for carrying
-out his purpose to go out as a foreign missionary, it is absolutely
-impossible. Such a course would simply be suicidal, and must not be
-considered for a moment.”
-
-“Not now, perhaps,” Anna spoke very low, in a strange, muffled tone;
-“but it may be—later—?” and she turned her imploring eyes from the face
-of one man to the other.
-
-“To be perfectly frank, my dear,” said Dr. Durham, pressing his hands
-nervously together, “after what the doctor has told me of the condition
-of our dear friend, the organic difficulty, and all that, you see—I fear
-that I can only, in justice to all concerned, state plainly that our
-Board would not be justified in sending him. I assure you the blow is a
-severe one to me in my capacity as secretary; for we regard Keith
-Burgess as, perhaps, the most promising candidate who has ever come
-before us. It is a dark Providence, and you will believe me that only a
-sense of our duty in the matter has led us to put the case so plainly
-before you.”
-
-Anna did not speak.
-
-“I was not aware, Miss Mallison,” said the physician, “until an hour
-ago, that you were yourself under appointment as a missionary. When I
-learned this fact, it seemed to me that you should not enter upon the
-proposed line of action without knowing clearly that it involves giving
-up your chosen career,” and with these words the doctor bowed and turned
-to withdraw.
-
-Anna turned to Dr. Durham.
-
-“Mr. Burgess does not know that he must give up—?” she asked.
-
-“No, oh, no,” was the reply; “the doctor says that he must on no account
-be allowed to learn it until he is stronger. His heart is so entirely
-bound up in this noble purpose, that the blow will be a terrible one
-when it comes.”
-
-“We must wait, Miss Mallison, until he is as far as may be recovered,
-before we allow him to even suspect the actual state of the case;” the
-doctor added this, looking at Anna’s face with surprise and concern. “If
-I can serve you in any way, do not fail to call upon me. For the present
-I must say good evening,” and he hastened away.
-
-Dr. Durham followed, walking along the hall by his side. The look in
-Anna’s face awed him. He felt that it was not his right to share in an
-hour of such conflict as this bade fair to be to her, for he perceived
-already something of what her missionary vocation meant to her. Anna,
-however, did not notice that he had gone; the crisis was too great to
-permit her paying heed to the accidental circumstances around her. A
-voice in her heart seemed crying with constant iteration, “Father!
-Father! What does God mean?”
-
-For ten minutes Anna stood alone in the alcove, looking steadily before
-her, but in her bewildered pain seeing no outward thing, while in the
-far dim reaches of the hall the good old clergyman paced noiselessly to
-and fro.
-
-On one side Anna saw her father’s life, with all its deep renunciation,
-its pure aims, its defeat, and its one final hope of fulfilment in
-herself; she saw the look in his eyes as he bent above her in the little
-church that night, when she declared her purpose to become a missionary;
-she remembered his _Nunc Dimittis_ as he blessed her with dying eyes;
-she lived again through the solemn hour of dedication, just after her
-father’s death, when the sense came upon her that she was called of God
-to carry on what her father began, to be in herself the continuance, and
-through divine grace the fruition, of his life. Since that hour life had
-meant only one thing to Anna; no other purpose or desire had ever
-entered to divide or diminish its control over her: she was set apart to
-carry the gospel of Christ to the heathen; this one thing only would she
-do.
-
-This on the one side, strong as life itself, inwoven into the very
-texture of her soul and her consciousness.
-
-On the other side Keith Burgess, even now scarcely better than a
-stranger, and yet, by the will of God as she believed, bound to her by
-sacred and indissoluble vows. To be faithful to those vows, to save him
-from despair, perhaps from death, she must cut off all her past, must
-read her life all backward, must annul and declare vain and void the
-most solemn purposes of her soul.
-
-From his retreat, watching, Dr. Durham at length saw Anna advancing down
-the hall toward the door of her room. He met her there, a question he
-did not dare to speak in his tired, kind old eyes. Her face was as the
-face of one who has even in the moment received a spiritual death-blow.
-
-He held his watch in his hand. Without speaking, Anna motioned to him,
-and he replied:—
-
-“It is nearly half-past five, my dear.”
-
-“Very well,” she said, her voice dull and toneless; “I will be ready at
-six o’clock.”
-
-As if in a dream she prepared herself for her marriage. She moved as if
-in response to another will than her own; her own will seemed to lie
-dead before her, a visible, tangible thing, done to death by her own
-hand. The white gown, Keith’s gift, seemed less a wedding-garment than a
-burial robe, and a strange smile crossed her face when she caught her
-reflection in the glass, and saw that, save for her eyes, her face was
-wholly colourless, the pale flowers on her breast hardly paler, hardly
-colder.
-
-At the clock-striking of the appointed hour, Anna entered the room, and,
-taking her place beside Keith, whose face was full of tender gladness,
-she lifted her eyes steadily to the old clergyman’s face, listening as
-for life and death to his words.
-
-“In sickness and in health, ... for richer for poorer, ... and forsaking
-all others, keep thee only unto him.” Yes, all others. God only knew the
-significance of those words, for they seemed to mean God himself just
-then; but God would pity. He would help. Her response came low but
-unfaltering, and then, with bowed heads, standing side by side in their
-youth, their innocence, their patience of hope, they two listened
-solemnly to the last irrevocable words.
-
-So steadfastly Anna held herself until the end, but hardly had the final
-word of blessing been pronounced, when, with a low cry for help, she
-wavered as she stood, and fell fainting.
-
-
-
-
- BOOK II
- AFTERNOON
-
- Hear now our cry for strength to bear the weight of prayers unanswered.
- —MAARTEN MAARTENS.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XV
-
-The evil base of our society eats right through; that our wealthy homes
-are founded on the spoliation of the poor vitiates all the life that
-goes on within them. Somehow or other, it searches through and degrades
-the art, manners, dress, good taste of the inmates.—EDWARD CARPENTER.
-
-
-It was a month later, when a train from the east, entering the Fulham
-station at five o’clock of the February afternoon, brought Keith Burgess
-and his wife home.
-
-Keith was apparently in fairly good physical condition, and looked and
-carried himself much as he had when Anna first knew him, although she
-could now detect the underlying weakness which he strove hard to
-conceal. He had been told in due time of what was involved in his
-illness. The shock had been severe both to mind and body, and for a
-while a serious relapse had seemed imminent. Those days had brought the
-young wife and husband into a new union of sympathy and suffering, as
-each strove to bear the burden of their thwarted lives bravely for the
-other’s sake. Not at that time nor at any later period was it possible
-for Anna to let Keith know to the full the meaning of this renunciation
-to her. He knew that to her, as to him, the abandonment of the
-missionary purpose was a profound and poignant sorrow; he did not know
-that it was the overthrow of all that had made her life hitherto, and
-that, whatever new forces and motives might produce out of the elements
-of her character, the old life, the first Anna Mallison, was slain.
-
-Keith had told her little of what lay before them in his mother’s home,
-which was now to be theirs; they had been too deeply absorbed in the
-present emergency to take much thought for the future. This much,
-however, had been accomplished in a week’s sojourn in Boston: Keith
-would shortly be appointed to fill a missionary secretaryship, which
-involved much travel and speaking in the interests of the cause, but
-permitted him to make his residence in Fulham. The strong hope which
-Anna clung to silently for herself, as the last pitiful substitute for
-the calling now denied her, was that she, too, might still accomplish
-something for the work so urgent in its claims upon her, by presenting
-it, as occasion offered, among Christian women in her own land. But she
-knew that her life was no longer in her own hands to shape and direct as
-she might will; not only was Keith now to be her care, her chief concern
-and interest, but she looked forward to daughterly duties toward his
-invalid mother, to whom it was in her mind to minister with loving and
-faithful devotion.
-
-As the train now drew into the Fulham station, Keith remarked,
-casually:—
-
-“There’s Foster, all right. I knew he would be on hand.” And, looking
-from the car platform, Anna saw a grey-haired man-servant in plain
-livery, who saluted Keith respectfully as he hastened to the spot, and
-wore an expression of solicitude and responsibility which stamped him at
-once as an old family servant. As they gave over their hand luggage to
-this man, and followed him out to the street where a plain closed
-carriage stood in waiting, an unostentatious “B” on the door showing it
-to be private, a deep perplexity and confusion began to rise in Anna’s
-mind. She had gradually become accustomed to the luxuries of the life in
-the Portland hotel, and had regarded them as incident to the passage of
-a grave crisis, and justified, perhaps, by the necessities of the case;
-but she had not been interested in thinking farther along the line of
-the Burgesses’ worldly status, least of all minded to make it a matter
-of inquiry, consequently the sight of the man-servant and the family
-carriage smote her with a sharp sense of entering a new and undreamed-of
-outward life. In them was the first obvious token which had ever been
-given her of her husband’s home surroundings and worldly position. A
-vague anxiety and dread were awakened in Anna by these small signs of a
-life and habit so widely at variance with her own past of austere
-privation. She saw the low white cottage figured heretofore in her
-thought, in the narrow street, fading before her; the geraniums in the
-window, the cat on the cushion, the braided mats, the wooden
-rocking-chair, the little table with the Bible and cough-drops, wavered
-in all their outlines, and fell like a house of cards. How would it be
-with the figure of the sweet, saintly, patient invalid to whom she was
-to minister? Must that go too? Anna ceased to speculate, but she sat
-silent beside her husband, and her heart beat hard.
-
-When the carriage stopped, it was in a fine old quiet street lined with
-substantial dwellings, and before a large brick house painted a dull
-drab. The house stood with its broad, low front close to the street;
-there were many small-paned, shining windows, and a brass knocker on the
-panelled black front door. Nothing could have been plainer or less
-pretentious, and yet the house bore, to Anna’s first intuitive
-perception, its own unmistakable expression of decorous and inflexible
-dignity and quietly cherished family pride.
-
-As they entered the wide, low-ceiled, oak-wainscoted hall, a neatly
-dressed middle-aged woman advanced and, speaking in a low voice to Anna,
-asked if she would follow her up to her rooms, Keith introducing her
-pleasantly as his mother’s indispensable Jane. No one else was in sight;
-but Mrs. Burgess’s invalid condition seemed to account sufficiently for
-this, although Anna had supposed her able to move about the house, and
-even to go out under favouring conditions.
-
-Keith joined Anna on the stairs, taking her hand in his. He smiled
-tenderly as he looked into her face, but there was a nervous eagerness
-upon him which he could not conceal. Was he thinking that he had chosen
-his wife for far other scenes and a widely different life? She could not
-tell.
-
-“This was my old room, Anna,” Keith was saying now, as they stood in the
-doorway of a spacious bedroom with old-fashioned mahogany furniture and
-handsome but faded chintz hangings. There was a marble chimney-piece,
-over which hung a large picture of Keith, with a boyish, eager face.
-
-Jane now threw open a door from this room into another of equal size.
-
-“If you please, I was to tell you this is to be Mrs. Burgess’s own
-sitting room,” she said respectfully, “and the dressing room and bath
-beyond the bedroom will be for your own use entirely after this,” and
-she crossed to open another door.
-
-Keith drew Anna on into the sitting room.
-
-“Well, now, this is certainly very kind of my mother,” he said, a flush
-of grateful pleasure rising in his sensitive face. “See, Anna, this has
-always been the state apartment, the guest-chamber of the house, and she
-has had it refitted for our use.”
-
-“How very kind,” said Anna, warmly.
-
-The room was, indeed, in its own manner, grave and subdued, a luxurious
-parlour, with good pictures, handsome hangings, and soft, pale-tinted
-carpet.
-
-“I must go down at once and tell the dear mother how we thank her,” said
-Keith, and Anna, left alone, returned to the bedroom and began to remove
-her travelling hat.
-
-Jane was beside her at once, giving unneeded assistance.
-
-“Shall I unpack for you directly?” she asked, looking at Keith’s small
-trunk, which was quite adequate to Anna’s few belongings, added to her
-husband’s. Anna felt her colour deepen as she declined the offered help,
-and sat down with a little sigh in a great easy-chair. But she submitted
-perforce when the maid knelt at her feet, and, quite as a matter of
-course, removed her shoes. It was the first time since babyhood that
-this office had been performed for Anna by other hands than her own, and
-she felt all her veins tingle with a shy reluctance, but sat motionless.
-
-Rising, Jane looked about, Anna thought with a shade of dissatisfaction
-that there was thus far so little to be done, so scanty a display of the
-small belongings of luxury.
-
-“When you are ready to dress for dinner,” she said, with a touch of
-coldness, “I will come if you will just ring the bell. The bell is
-here,” and she indicated the green twisted cord and heavy silk tassel at
-the head of the bed. “Mrs. Burgess said she could spare me to wait on
-you for what you needed to-night,” she added.
-
-“Thank you,” said Anna, gently, but with the quiet unconscious loftiness
-of her own reserve. “Mrs. Burgess is very good to think of it, but I am
-accustomed to caring for myself, and so I shall not need to trouble
-you.”
-
-“Very well, that will be just as suits you, ma’am. I should be pleased
-to wait on you any time Mrs. Burgess doesn’t need me. Dinner will be at
-six o’clock, then, if you please.” Thus saying the maid withdrew.
-
-“Keith,” said Anna, with a perplexed countenance, when a few moments
-later he joined her, “I find I ought to dress for dinner, but I have
-nothing better to wear than this black gown. You ought to have told me,
-dear.”
-
-Keith looked down at the straight fashionlessness of Anna’s black figure
-with unconcealed concern.
-
-“I ought to have thought,” he said, “but it never occurred to me about
-your clothes. We must get you a whole lot of new things straight away,
-dear. We will do it together, and have a great time over it, won’t we?
-And you will put off the black now for my sake? I want to see you in
-wine-red silk and good lace.”
-
-“Oh, Keith!” cried Anna, “I cannot imagine myself masquerading like
-that. It would never do. But for to-night—that is the trouble now.”
-
-“Why, wear your wedding-gown, sweetheart; that is just the thing. What
-luck that we did get that!” and Keith was down on his knees before the
-trunk on the instant, and soon produced the dress which, being of fine
-white cashmere, with a little lace about the neck, was, in fact,
-altogether appropriate.
-
-Anna looked puzzled. It seemed to her almost sacrilegious to put on that
-dress for everyday use, and the association with it made her shiver,
-even now, but she did not dispute the matter.
-
-Just before six o’clock Keith ushered his wife into the library
-downstairs, where his mother sat waiting to receive them. It was the
-sort of a library which Anna had read of but had not seen—lined with
-books, furnished with massive leather-covered chairs and darkly gleaming
-mahogany, a dim old India carpet on the floor.
-
-Anna saw by the shaded drop-light the form of a small woman of fragile
-figure, dressed in silver-grey silk, with a white shawl of cobweb
-fineness of texture about her shoulders. There were several good
-diamonds at her throat and on her hands, her grey hair was beautifully
-dressed in soft waves and fastened with a quaint silver comb of fine
-workmanship. Her face was pale and the features delicately cut; her
-movement as she advanced to meet Anna was slow, and, in spite of her
-diminutive size, stately, and there was a crisp, frosty rustle of her
-grey gown.
-
-She took both Anna’s hands in hers with a cold, kind smile, and kissed
-her twice on her forehead, Anna bending low for the purpose. She seemed
-to be at an incalculable height above the fine little lady, and
-singularly young and immature. At twenty-two she had felt herself a
-woman for long years, with her sober cares and grave purposes; but
-to-night, before Keith’s mother, she suddenly seemed to become a shy,
-undeveloped girl again.
-
-While they spoke a little of the journey and the night, Keith Burgess
-turned on his heel and affected to be examining, with critical interest,
-an engraving above the fireplace, which he had seen in the same spot all
-his life; but he was watching them both aside narrowly as he stood. He
-was perfectly satisfied.
-
-If Anna had been never so much prettier, and possessed of all of Mally
-Loveland’s confident social facility; if she had met his mother as the
-country girl of this type would have done, with eager and affectionate
-appeal that she should at once stand and deliver motherly sympathy and
-affection in copious measure,—there would have been only disappointment
-and chagrin. But Mrs. Burgess’s bearing was not more reserved than that
-of her daughter-in-law. At twenty-two Anna’s grave repose of manner was
-in itself a distinction, and one which had its full weight with the
-elder woman. Plainly, she had not a gushing provincial beauty on her
-hands to curb and fashion into form. As for good looks, there was a
-certain angular grace already in figure, an unconscious dignity of
-attitude and bearing which suited Keith’s mother, while for her face,
-the eyes were good, the brow very noble, and the expression peculiarly
-lofty. The succession of strong and sudden emotional experiences through
-which Anna had recently passed had wrought a subtle change already in
-her face; there was less severity, less of hard, conscientious rigour in
-its lines; a certain transparent, spiritual illumination softened the
-profound sadness which was her habitual expression.
-
-At dinner, a delicately sumptuous meal, served with some state, Anna
-acquitted herself perfectly, having the instincts of good breeding, the
-habit of delicate refinement, and having learned at Mrs. Ingraham’s
-table many of the small niceties which she could hardly have acquired in
-Haran.
-
-Already, within the first hour, while seeing that her mother-in-law had
-been physically entirely able to meet her children at her door at their
-home-coming, Anna perceived the inevitable consistency of her waiting to
-receive them in due form and order. Formality and form were essentials
-of life in this house. This did not oppress Anna particularly, and she
-liked to look at the cameo-cut delicacy of Mrs. Burgess’s face. Still,
-perhaps never in her life, never in the cheerless chambers of Mrs.
-Wilson’s poor house, had Anna known the homesickness with which she ate
-and drank—that night at her husband’s table.
-
-Poverty and obscurity were old and tried friends to Anna; among them she
-would have been at home. From wealth and social prominence she shrank
-with instinctive dread and ingrained disfavour. The familiar austerities
-of poverty were, to her, denotements of mental elevation, while the
-indulgences of wealth bore to her thought an almost vulgar pampering of
-appetite and ministering to sense. The trained perfection of the silent
-attentive service in itself was an offence to her. Why should those
-people be turned into speechless automatons to watch every wish and wait
-upon every need of three other people no more deserving than themselves?
-Could it ever seem right to her?
-
-She excused herself early. Left alone with him, Mrs. Burgess laid her
-small hand on Keith’s, saying without warmth but with significant
-emphasis:—
-
-“You have done very well, Keith, in marrying Miss Mallison. I confess I
-was not without some apprehension lest the wife who would have been a
-perfect helpmeet and companion for you in the foreign field might appear
-at some disadvantage in the life now before you in the ordering of
-Providence.”
-
-“Anna is so absolutely true, mother, that she cannot be a misfit
-anywhere, except among false conditions.”
-
-Mrs. Burgess bowed her head.
-
-“I can see that she is a thoroughly exemplary young woman, and while she
-may have much to learn of social conditions in a place like Fulham, the
-foundation is all right.” She paused a little, and added reflectively:
-“Her eyes and hands are extremely good. Her figure will improve. I
-understand that her father belonged to the Andover Mallisons.”
-
-There was a little flicker of Keith’s eyelids, but he made no reply,
-taking up casually from the table a book at which he looked with
-mechanical indifference. It was a volume of Barnes’s “Notes.” This much
-only of Anna’s vision had had foundation.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVI
-
- For the most part people do not think at all. They have little
- phrases and formulas which stand in their minds for thoughts and
- opinions, and they repeat them parrotlike. Most of their notions and
- ideas and prejudices are mere extraneous accretions, barnacled on to
- them by men and books in their passage through life, as shells are
- on a vessel, but not growing out of them or really belonging to
- them.—ANON.
-
- Life in her creaking shoes
- Goes, and more formal grows,
- A round of calls and cues.
- —W. E. HENLEY.
-
-
-At the end of the week, on Saturday morning, Anna Burgess was sitting on
-a low stool in the middle of her bedroom, surrounded by a curious
-confusion and medley of miscellaneous things. Before her was an open
-cedar chest of large proportions; its pungent odour was mingled with the
-spicy smell of winter apples, dried fruits, and maple sugar. From the
-half unpacked chest, quilts of calico patchwork and soft home-woven
-blankets were overflowing; piles of snowy linen sheets and pillowcases,
-finely hemstitched and bordered with delicate thread-work, lay about the
-floor, together with body linen of equal daintiness, and books in dull
-and faded binding, while the red apples, rolled everywhere, studded the
-confused array as commas do a printer’s page.
-
-In the chest still lay some old-fashioned furs and other clothing. Anna,
-as she sat, had her lap heaped with a quantity of yellowed lace, and a
-number of small, thin silver spoons. She was reading a letter, and, as
-she read, unconsciously tears were running down her cheeks.
-
-“You must have known,” wrote Gulielma Mallison, “that I could not let my
-dear daughter go empty-handed to her new home. The box has been long,
-however, in being made ready, but I know your husband and his mother
-will make excuses, the marriage having been so sudden. Lucia and I have
-taken comfort in sorting out and preparing the things. The linen is,
-much of it, what was left of my own bridal outfit, but we have bleached
-it on the snow, and it is still strong. The silver I have tried to
-divide equally among you all. This is your portion. The little
-porringer, you know, came over from Germany with my mother, then the
-Jungfrau Benigna von Brosius.
-
-“I regret that I am unable to provide you with more dresses, etc., but
-there is little to do with and little to choose from in Haran. Indeed, I
-hardly ever get to Haran any more, my rheumatism is so bad, and the
-going has been terrible this winter. We got Lucia’s husband’s sister to
-buy the white cotton cloth, and sent it back by Joseph when he went down
-with a load of wood. The brown cloak I shall not be likely to need any
-more, going out so seldom, and Lucia says she doesn’t begrudge it to you
-at all, being much too long for her, and it would be a shame to cut off
-any of that material to waste. You know it is the best of camlet cloth,
-and there is no wear out to it. I have given Lucia the melodeon, and she
-says it is only fair that you should have the cloak and the brown silk
-dress. We got Amanda Turner to make that over for you by an old waist we
-had of yours. She was here three days, right through the worst snowstorm
-we have had all winter, and there was nothing to interrupt us. We turned
-the silk and made it all over. I think we succeeded pretty well. I
-thought you really ought to have one silk dress, now you are going to
-live in this country. Of course you’ll be invited out to tea some, there
-in Fulham. The grey merino will do for afternoons. I made you four
-aprons, two white, and two check to wear about your work, and you’ll
-need them afternoons for taking care of your husband’s mother. Please
-give her my best respects. I send the dried fruit to her,—maybe it will
-tempt her appetite a little,—and part of the maple sugar, that in the
-little cakes. Lucia ran it for her especially. We thought maybe they
-wouldn’t have it down there in Fulham, that was pure.
-
-“I am sorry we haven’t anything better to send Mr. Burgess, but I put in
-your dear father’s quilted dressing-gown as my particular present; his
-health being so poor, Lucia and I thought it might be acceptable. The
-books are for him, from your father’s library....”
-
-The letter dropped in Anna’s lap, and covering her face with both hands,
-she burst into passionate tears. Her old life, in all its homely, simple
-sweetness called her mightily, and the sharp sense of her own separation
-from it now and forever tore her heart. Her mother’s inability to
-comprehend the new conditions, the eager self-sacrifice which had gladly
-shorn her own poor life bare of every lingering superfluity of
-possession that she might equip her child with such small dower as was
-attainable, had to Anna a pathos which seemed almost too poignant to
-endure. How well, oh, how well she understood the planning and
-contriving, the simple joy in each small new object gained; the delight
-which her mother and Lucia had shared in picturing to themselves her own
-grateful surprise in the manifold treasures stored in the dear old
-chest, itself an heirloom of impressive value in the Mallison family.
-And she was grateful beyond words to tell, and pleased and proud to come
-thus set out to her husband; and yet, these possessions, so unspeakably
-precious to her, would, she knew only too well, wear a rustic and
-incongruous aspect in the Burgess household. She knew that Keith and his
-mother would be gentle and respectful in thought as in word, but she
-knew the faint embarrassment which they would try to conceal in
-receiving gifts for which they would have no use; she knew the delicate,
-half-pitying, well-meaning sympathy, which could never understand, try
-as it would.
-
-On Sunday morning, Anna attended church with her husband and his mother
-for the first time, the latter making a great effort, since church-going
-was far beyond her usual invalid routine. When Anna presented herself in
-the hall ready to start, Mrs. Burgess, or Madam Burgess as she was
-generally styled after this time, had bit her lip and almost gasped,
-such was her amazement and dismay. However, she had said nothing, the
-situation being plainly hopeless, and she sat in the carriage in
-speechless anxiety, while Keith’s face reflected the same emotion. He
-had felt it impossible to interfere with Anna’s arraying herself as she
-had for church, seeing with his sensitive perception that the garments
-fashioned and sent her from her home by the hands of her mother and
-sister, for such a time as this, were in her eyes sacredly beyond
-criticism or cavil.
-
-Anna now preceded him, following his mother, down the broad aisle of the
-stately and well-filled church, drawing to herself unconsciously the
-attention of many eyes. She wore over the soft overshot silk gown the
-brown camlet cloak which had formed in her mother’s eyes the chief glory
-of her simple trousseau. It was a long, circular cape, falling to the
-hem of her dress, drawn up about the throat and shoulders with quaint
-smocking after a forgotten art, and tied with a long, loose bow of
-changeable brown ribbon. The outlines of this garment were so simple and
-so natural that it could never, at any period or by any shift of
-fashion, become awkward, but it had at that time an effect of
-Puritan-like quaintness. She wore a dark, broad-brimmed hat with falling
-plumes, according well in simplicity as in colour with her cloak.
-
-As she passed down to the Burgess pew, her height and bearing, the
-flowing outline of her costume, the purity and unconscious, childlike
-seriousness of her face with its clear brune pallor, the steady light of
-her hazel eyes, the lustreless masses of her dark hair, all combined to
-make a singular impression of mediæval loveliness, of something rare and
-fine and wholly distinct from the prevalent type of women in the
-ambitious little city. There were some who, seeing her, smiled and
-whispered at the quaintness of her dress; there were others who found
-their eyes irresistibly drawn again and again by the picturesque harmony
-of her figure; there were one or two persons who, watching the proud,
-pure severity of her face as she sat with her soul lifted to God and
-heedless of outward things, saw in her a woman fit for reverence and
-wonder, one whose spirit had been most evidently nourished on the
-greatness and simplicity of spiritual realities, and who was yet
-untouched by “the world’s slow stain.”
-
-And so it came about that Keith Burgess and his mother, who had been
-dismayed at the lack of conformity to fashion in Anna’s dress at this
-first appearance in their world, found themselves met, the service over,
-by men and women who had admiration and interest, sober and sincere, to
-express, and much to say aside of the singular distinction, the
-aristocratic dignity and charm, of the bride. Madam Burgess was not slow
-to produce the good points of Anna’s ancestry of which she had quickly
-possessed herself, thus enhancing the favourable impression, and she was
-ready to accept Anna, cloak and all, herself, when the son of one of
-Fulham’s leading men, Pierce Everett, an artist newly returned from
-Paris, came to her with a respectful but eager wish that Mrs. Keith
-Burgess would at some future day grant him the notable favour of sitting
-to him for some saint’s face and figure.
-
-There was a little crowd about them as they passed out to their
-carriage, and much kind and deferential courtesy pressing upon Anna’s
-notice. A group of young girls on the church steps watched her with shy,
-awed glances, and murmured to each other that they adored her, she was
-so different from any bride they had ever seen; she was grave and quiet,
-and something of pathos and mystery seemed to remove her far from the
-conscious, fluttering pink-and-white brides of their experience.
-
-The young artist, Pierce Everett, joined a friend, a professor of
-literature in the local university, Nathan Ward, as he walked away from
-the church.
-
-“What a study for a saint!” he exclaimed, with enthusiasm. “I did not
-suppose there was such a woman left in the world. Where can she have
-been saved up to keep that super-earthly look?”
-
-Professor Ward smiled. After a silence he said,—
-
-“Here’s a conundrum, if it is Sunday: Why is Keith Burgess like St.
-Francis of Assisi?”
-
-The answer not being forthcoming, Professor Ward presently volunteered
-it.
-
-“Because he has espoused Poverty, Chastity, and Obedience. In Mrs. Keith
-these three are one.”
-
-
-Fulham was a small city with a college of no great reputation, which
-called itself a university by reason of having a divinity school
-affiliated. Furthermore it was a seaboard town and had had a large
-shipping trade in former years, now slowly dying a natural death. The
-aristocratic circle of Fulham—there was but one—was as definitely marked
-and as strongly defended from invasion as it is possible for such a
-circle to be, even in an old New England town. In fact, it existed more
-obviously for its own defence and preservation from the ineligible than
-for any other reason; and only two classes of citizens were
-eligible,—namely, those who had some connection with “the university,”
-and those who inherited either poverty or riches from ancestors engaged
-in foreign commerce. These two agreed in one, and agreed to rule out all
-others. Thus the aristocratic circle was necessarily small and its
-social functions painfully mechanical and monotonous; its maidens were
-proverbially lacking in personal charms, and its young men, with rare
-exceptions, fled, escaping to more interesting and varied scenes; but it
-was supremely satisfied, rejoiced in the distinction of its unattainable
-exclusiveness, and looked with cold and unrelenting disfavour upon all
-strangers, newcomers, or fellow-citizens, however meritorious, who
-failed to possess the sole claims to its ranks.
-
-Madam Burgess enjoyed a double title to membership in this exclusive
-circle. Her fathers before her, for several generations, had been
-shipowners residing in the house now her own, to which her husband, the
-Reverend Elon Burgess, had come, as an eminently suitable adjunct upon
-their marriage. Mr. Burgess had filled a minor chair in the divinity
-school for the ten years of their married life; he had not filled even
-this particularly well, being a man of small calibre, lacking in any
-trace of original power or talent, but his name was in the university
-catalogue, and hence his place in the ranks of Fulham’s high social
-circle safe forever. But, although of limited ability, Professor Burgess
-was fine of grain and fine of habit, and sincerely pious in a day when
-to be called pious did not awaken a smile. In the fear and faith of God
-and in true humility he had lived and died, leaving perhaps no very
-large and irreparable vacancy, and no overwhelming sense of loss or
-desolation even to his wife and son, and still having borne—
-
- “without reproach
- The fine old name of gentleman.”
-
-As a girl Sarah Keith had given satisfactory evidence of a “change of
-heart,” and in a time of profound missionary awakening she had declared
-herself strongly in sympathy with foreign missions. To the position thus
-taken she had consistently adhered. All boards and auxiliaries to which
-she was available claimed her name on their lists. Missionary literature
-was always scattered abundantly in her library, her gifts were large,
-and her allegiance to religious interests was so completely taken for
-granted that it would no more have been questioned in Fulham than her
-place in its aristocracy. Certainly she never doubted herself that she
-was essentially a religious woman. Nevertheless, religion, whether
-personal or in its outreaching toward a world which she would have
-unhesitatingly called “lost,” consisted for her now in a series of
-mechanical observances, and in tenacious orthodoxy of opinion it had
-become a dry husk enclosing a dead seed. The brief blossoming of the
-religious impulse of her young years over, she had fixed her affections
-on the small adventitious trappings of “this transitory life,” and
-denied unconsciously the power of that other life, the form of which she
-so punctiliously maintained.
-
-Her invalidism was becoming, not inconvenient on the whole, and not
-wholly imaginary. Such was the woman who was now by the ordering of
-Providence to rule and direct the unfoldings of Anna’s early womanhood,
-since Keith Burgess cherished a respect and submission to his mother
-which would have found something akin in Chinese ancestor-worship. He
-had reproduced in his own young life his mother’s early missionary
-fervour; that it was long dead in her case he did not suspect. With
-Keith this experience had received a strong accent from the temper of
-his college life, and from the possibility of an actual dedication of
-himself to the missionary vocation. It had thus become, as we have seen,
-for a time nobly and completely dominant with him, the strongest passion
-his life had known. He was himself surprised to find, on his reaction
-from the crisis of loss and disappointment connected with his illness
-and the abandonment of a missionary career, how natural and, on the
-whole, how satisfactory it was to settle back into his own place in his
-old home, to fall back into the small, comfortable interests of Fulham,
-and to find full soon an aspect of unreality and even of incongruity
-clothing his former ardent dream.
-
-Not so Anna.
-
-The ordered precision, the formal, stiff monotony, repeated day after
-day in her husband’s home, the cold, conventional courtesies, the
-absence of any purpose save to maintain things in existing form without
-progress or alteration, for a time exerted upon her an almost paralyzing
-effect. A torpid dulness, a physical oppression, came upon her when shut
-up alone to the companionship of Madam Burgess, against which she found
-it impossible to struggle successfully. Accustomed to serious mental
-work, to much strenuous bodily labour, to the wholesome severity of long
-walks in all weathers, and more than all to the stimulus of a great,
-immediate purpose ennobling every homeliest task and smallest
-service,—the present life of inaction, of sluggish ease, of absence of
-responsibility of motive or purpose, was like the life of a prison. A
-heavy, spiritless apathy overbore every motion to fresh endeavour or to
-new hopes and incitements. She “fluttered and failed for breath,” and at
-times her heart seemed bursting with its longing, the old wild, girlish
-longing, grown still and deep, for freedom and for power.
-
-With mechanical indifference she accompanied Madam Burgess on her daily
-drives, paid and received visits, shopped, and attended the various
-prescribed social functions, read aloud to Keith, and made a feint of
-embroidering the great ottoman cover which her mother-in-law had
-contrived for her leisure. It was a stag’s head with impossible square
-eyes, the head partially surrounded by a half-wreath of oak leaves and
-acorns, staring out of an illimitable field of small red stitches,
-numberless as the sands of the seashore, and significant, Anna thought
-wearily, of her endless, monotonous hours.
-
-All the while, just below the surface, repeated through the long days,
-was the bitter conflict of her spirit, her perpetual, unanswered
-questioning, Why had God thus dealt with her? Why, with all power to
-save or heal, had he permitted the illness to come upon Keith which had
-thus brought to naught what she had supposed was the very and sacred
-purpose of her creation.
-
-Upon the intensity of youth and a nature of profound and passionate
-earnestness this thwarting of her dedicated purpose, this apparent
-rejection of herself from the service of God, worked piteous havoc. Anna
-did not grow sullen or rebellious, but she felt her whole interior life
-to be in hopeless confusion. Her sense of an immediate and personal
-relation to a fatherly God had suffered something like an earthquake
-shock. All the high faith, the sacred and filial purpose, the profound
-self-dedication of her girlhood, seemed to have been flung aside by the
-God whom she had sought to know and serve, with cold, blank
-indifference, without sign or suggestion of pity, of love, or of amends.
-The God of whom Mrs. Westervelt had taught her, a conception which she
-had gradually absorbed and assimilated as her own, a God closer than
-breathing, nearer than hands and feet, to whom the heart was never
-lifted in vain, whose presence could be indubitably felt and known, who
-answered every holy and devout prayer of his children, and who led them
-immediately in every thought and action—where was he? Either he existed
-only in imagination, or she was herself rejected by him as unworthy;
-and, in a depth below the depth of burning grief, she saw her father
-likewise despised and rejected.
-
-A great protest, honest and indignant, rose up in Anna’s heart. She knew
-that, as far as mortal man could be holy and harmless in the eyes of his
-God, her father had been; and she knew that her own purposes had been
-blameless and sincere. She refused to quibble with herself in regard to
-these facts; something staunch and sturdy in her mental constitution—not
-obstinacy, not pride, but sheer inward honesty—refused to seek
-accommodation in any forced paroxysm of humility or blind submission.
-With a sorrow which a lighter nature could not have comprehended, but
-with characteristic conclusiveness, she said to herself, the stress of
-her inward conflict spent, “I do not know God,” and composed her spirit
-in silence to wait.
-
-At the end of a month Keith returned to his class in the Massachusetts
-Divinity School, with which he was to graduate in June. Immediately
-thereafter he expected to enter upon the duties of his missionary
-secretaryship, and make his home in Fulham with his wife and mother.
-
-Thrown thus upon the sole companionship of Madam Burgess, and forced
-either to make the best of the situation or to appear the crude,
-undisciplined provincial who sullenly refuses to adapt herself to new
-conditions, Anna’s native good sense came to her rescue. With strong
-will she crowded down her mental conflict, while with conscientious
-earnestness she addressed herself to the duty of making herself a
-cheerful and sympathetic companion to her husband’s mother, and of
-filling the social position in which she was undeniably placed, however
-inscrutable the reasons therefor. New influences came out to meet and
-win her on every side, and she responded with a social grace, and even
-facility, which amazed all who had seen her first as the cold, pale,
-silent girl whose marriage altar had seemed rather an altar of
-sacrifice.
-
-An effect of singular charm was produced by this new mental attitude,
-the opening out of a nature until now so closely sealed. The native
-seriousness, the fine, direct simplicity, of Anna’s girlhood remained;
-but they seemed flooded with a new and warmer light, welcome as daily
-sunshine while the hardness, the rigour, and the severity melted away.
-She submitted without further protest to the comparative luxury of her
-surroundings, found it surprisingly agreeable, and discovered a fresh,
-forgotten joy in simple physical existence, which carried her bravely
-through the long, dull days of the Burgess order of life.
-
-Notwithstanding all these things, below the surface of her life, often
-below the surface of her thought, lay an unplumbed depth of spiritual
-loneliness, a sense of double orphanhood, a voice which cried and would
-not be stilled; for while men and women had come near, of God she had
-become shy, feeling toward him as toward a dearest friend grown cold.
-
-But one night, as she lay alone and wakeful, tears painful, not easily
-flowing, wetting her pillow, a sudden thought stung her by its throbbing
-wonder and delight, seeming great enough to reconcile all things, even
-God, who had filled her with bitterness, and hedged her about in all her
-ways.
-
-She said to herself, “It may be I shall have a child,” and the deep
-places of her nature called to each other in joy and exultation; and she
-knew that, if this grace should be given her, all would yet be clear,
-and she could still believe in God’s love, and in his purpose in her
-life.
-
-So, blindly groping through the rough and thorny way by which humanity
-has sought God through many ages, this human soul, sincere and humble,
-perpetuated the heart-breaking fallacy of conditioning the Divine Love,
-the Eternal Power and Godhead, on the small mutations of her own life,
-seen at short range.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVII
-
- Affections, Instincts, Principles, and Powers,
- Impulse and Reason, Freedom and Control—
- So men, unravelling God’s harmonious whole,
- Rend in a thousand shreds this life of ours.
- Vain labour! Deep and broad, where none may see,
- Spring the foundations of that shadowy throne
- Where man’s one nature, queen-like, sits alone,
- Centred in a majestic unity.
- —MATTHEW ARNOLD.
-
-
-To some minds there is nothing more pathetic in human experience than
-the patient resignation with which average men and women accommodate
-themselves to the most disastrous and distorting of griefs and
-disappointments, nothing more amazing than their power to endure. If
-something of the brute nature is in us all, it is not always and
-altogether the animalhood of greed or of ferocity, but far more commonly
-the mute, uncomprehending submission of sheep and oxen. Though the
-futility of revolt is so apparent, the infrequency of it in human lives
-does not cease to surprise. The modern Rachel mourns for her children,
-and will not be comforted, but she goes about the streets in
-conventional mourning, orders her house with decent regularity, and
-probably, in the end, goes abroad for a time, and returning, enters with
-apparent cheerfulness into the social round. The modern Guelph or
-Ghibelline, banished from the political or intellectual activities which
-made life to him, finds readily that raving against time and fate is no
-longer good form, reads his daily paper with unabated interest, and
-enjoys a good dinner with appetite unimpaired. Very probably the man’s
-and the woman’s heart is broken in each instance, but what then? Life
-goes on, and the resiliency of the mainspring in a well-adjusted piece
-of human mechanism may be usually guaranteed, with safety, to last a
-lifetime.
-
-In a year after her marriage Anna Burgess was diligently at work along
-the conventional lines of activity of her day for religious young women
-at home,—writing missionary reports, distributing literature, collecting
-dues. She saw nothing better to do. Her own private and innermost
-relation to God, it was true, had been dislocated, but the heathen
-remained to be saved.
-
-One morning, Keith being away from home, Anna came into Madam Burgess’s
-sitting room, her cheeks slightly flushed, her eyes shining, a letter in
-hand.
-
-“May I read you this?” she asked eagerly; “I have been invited to give
-an address at the foreign missionary conference next month in H——. What
-if I could! I should be so glad.” Her eyes told the new and eager hope
-which this summons had stirred within her.
-
-An added degree of frost settled upon her mother-in-law’s face.
-
-“You can hardly mean, Anna,” she said, “that you would be willing to
-speak in public?”
-
-“But our missionaries do, and sometimes others,” Anna replied anxiously.
-
-“The case of missionaries is, of course, entirely exceptional; and they
-should never be heard, in my opinion, before mixed audiences. As for
-other women making spectacles of themselves, it would seem to be enough
-to remind you, Anna, of the words of the Apostle Paul on that subject.
-You would hardly attempt, I think, to explain them away.”
-
-Anna was silent.
-
-“A woman who has a noble Christian husband, my dear,” continued Madam
-Burgess, more gently, feeling her case now won, “as you have, who is
-already at work in this very field of labour, has no occasion to leave
-the sacred shelter of her own home, and lift up her voice and exhibit
-her person in public gatherings.”
-
-“Keith always said that I might still have a chance to do a little work
-in this way; I am sure he approved,” and Anna’s low voice faltered, her
-heart full just then of the memory of those first days of their common
-sorrow.
-
-“You have a very indulgent husband, and it is not strange if, in the
-first fond days of your married life, he may have unwisely yielded to
-some mistaken sense of duty on your part, and apparently committed
-himself to a purpose which he would later realize to be impracticable.
-Understand me clearly, my dear,” and the term of endearment sounded,
-from Madam Burgess’s lips, as sharp as the point of an icicle, “my son’s
-wife can never, without flying in the face of all her holiest
-obligations, both to God and man, present herself before an audience of
-people as a public speaker. A woman who does this violates the very law
-of her being, she ceases to be womanly, ceases to be modest, and loses
-all that feminine delicacy which is woman’s chief ornament.”
-
-The finality of these remarks clearly perceived, Anna rose from her
-chair, and left the room in silence. She never returned to the subject,
-but simply buried in her heart one more high hope of service.
-
-This was the first time that Anna’s inexperience and young ardour had
-joined direct issue with Madam Burgess’s social creed. For a while
-everything had gone so smoothly that Anna’s first sense of disparity had
-been soothed to rest; all things being new, she had failed to see the
-full significance of certain limitations which hedged her in. Little by
-little she learned this, and learned the inevitable submission. She
-never appealed to Keith from his mother, controlled by a sense of the
-essential ugliness and vulgarity of a domestic situation in which the
-different elements are working and interworking at variance with each
-other. Furthermore, she learned very soon that, however sympathetic and
-gentle Keith might show himself toward her, he would, in the end, range
-himself on his mother’s side of every question.
-
-Stratagem and indirection were alike alien to Anna’s nature and habit,
-but she inevitably learned, in process of time and experience, to avoid
-leading Madam Burgess to a declaration of definite positions, while she
-sought to enlist her husband’s sympathies in her own undertakings before
-his mother was made acquainted with them. Any plan which was brought
-before her by her son was comparatively acceptable to the elder woman.
-Thus wisely ordering her goings as women learn to do, Anna succeeded in
-reaching a fair degree of independence and at the same time a harmonious
-outward order. Her sacrifices and disappointments, the gradual paring
-down of her larger hopes and the dimming of her finer aspirations, she
-kept to herself.
-
-Pierce Everett, the young artist who had spoken of Anna’s fitness for a
-model of a saint, had carried out his purpose, and had formally
-requested her to pose for him. With the cordial approval of both Madam
-Burgess and Keith, Anna had consented, and late in the winter the
-sittings began in Everett’s studio, which was in his father’s house.
-Madam Burgess brought Anna to the house for the first sitting. They were
-received by the mother of the artist, an intimate friend of Madam
-Burgess, and the older ladies then laughingly gave Anna over into
-Everett’s hands while they enjoyed a discussion of certain benevolent
-committee matters.
-
-In the studio a little talk ensued regarding the projected sittings, and
-various considerations involved in them. These matters understood, Anna
-said composedly:—
-
-“I am ready, Mr. Everett, if you will tell me just what you wish. I do
-not even know for what I am to be painted.”
-
-“And you will not object, Mrs. Burgess,” said Everett, quickly, “if I do
-not tell you now? It is in a character which could not, I am sure,
-displease you, but I think it would be decidedly better that we should
-not discuss it, and that you should have no definite thought of it. Is
-this satisfactory to you?”
-
-“Entirely so.”
-
-“Very well.”
-
-Immediately upon this Everett took his place at the easel and began a
-first rapid sketch of Anna’s head. He was a slight fellow, below the
-medium height, with a delicate, almost transparent face, a red Vandyke
-beard, and large and brilliant brown eyes. Quick and nervous in speech
-and gesture, he had the clear-cut precision of a man who knows both his
-means and his end.
-
-Anna thought him very interesting.
-
-At the second sitting their talk chanced to turn upon the relation of
-the ideals of men and women to their practical lives, and Everett told
-Anna the old story of Carcassonne, which was new to her. The train of
-thought thus suggested soon absorbed her, so that she forgot him and
-what he was doing. The sacred hope of her own life, yet unfulfilled,
-still centring in the hope of her father, the ever receding purpose of
-which she never spoke, cast its powerful influence upon her.
-
-For half an hour neither spoke. Then Everett’s friend, Professor Ward,
-came into the room in familiar fashion, and the two men talked of many
-things.
-
-When Anna left Nathan Ward said, looking over his friend’s shoulder:—
-
-“If you can keep that look, you will make a great picture.” Then he
-added, “But don’t fail to get her hands. They have the same expression.”
-
-After that it became an habitual thing for Ward to drop into the studio
-at these sittings. It never occurred to Anna that her presence had
-anything to do with his coming. She supposed he had always come. He
-talked very little with her, but she liked to listen to his talk with
-Everett. It was distinctly novel to her—light, rambling, touch-and-go,
-and yet full of underlying thought and suggestion. Anna had known few
-men at best, none of the order to which these two belonged, men
-conversant with art and literature, music and poetry, and modern life on
-all its sides. Much that they said puzzled and perplexed her, but she
-found an eager enjoyment in it.
-
-Then one day Professor Ward said to her, apropos of Shelley, of whom
-they had been speaking:—
-
-“You do not join in this discussion, Mrs. Burgess. I am quite sure you
-could give us opinions much wiser than ours.”
-
-Anna’s colour deepened as she answered:—
-
-“I have not read Shelley in a great many years. Indeed, I know nothing
-of literature.”
-
-There was a little silence; Anna hesitated, half inclined to say a word
-in explanation of a fact which she plainly saw the two men found very
-surprising, but finally, finding the explanation too personal and too
-serious, remained silent.
-
-As she started to walk home from the Everett’s, Professor Ward joined
-her, asking to walk with her. He was a man of forty, with a wife and a
-flock of little children. Anna knew the family slightly, but pleasantly.
-
-“Mrs. Burgess,” the professor began, as they walked down the quiet
-street, “I do not want to intrude or to be found inquisitive, but I am
-so puzzled by what you said a little while ago that I really wish you
-felt inclined to enlighten me. I know you never speak with the
-exaggeration and inaccuracy which is so much the habit of young ladies,
-and so I accept what you said as to your ignorance of literature as
-sober truth. But you are a well-educated woman. How can it be?”
-
-Anna was almost glad of a chance to explain. She was facing many new
-questions in these days, and she felt the need of light. She answered
-therefore at once, with frankness:—
-
-“I deliberately gave up study on all these lines when I became a
-Christian. I supposed them to be contrary to the absolute consecration
-of my life to God.”
-
-Professor Ward looked perplexed.
-
-“You cannot understand,” Anna said timidly. “I have felt since I have
-been in Fulham as if the language of my religious life in those days
-would be an unknown tongue here. I see that I am right. To you,
-Professor Ward, I am sure such a sense of duty as I speak of is
-unintelligible, but I can still say it was sincere. And it was not an
-easy sacrifice to make, for I had already grown fond of poetry, and
-longed to know more in a way I could never express.”
-
-“I see,” said her companion, gravely; “you felt that the study of the
-work of men like most of our poets, whose religious positions were vague
-and not formulated according to our creeds, was likely to act
-unfavourably upon your spiritual life and experience.”
-
-“Yes. To divide my heart, to dim my sense of a one, single aim in life.”
-
-“And that aim?”
-
-“To serve God directly in every thought and word. That, and to try to
-save the souls of the lost.”
-
-Professor Ward had no key to the profound sadness with which Anna spoke,
-but he watched her face with earnest interest. She spoke with the
-unconsciousness of absolute sincerity. He was reflecting, however, on
-how much easier life might be if one could sustain, undisturbed, such
-bare simplicity of conception of human relations.
-
-“And so,” he said slowly, “you were going to prune away every instinct,
-every faculty of your nature which did not serve the immediate purpose
-of furthering what men call sometimes ‘the cause of religion,’ and know
-and feel and be one thing only?”
-
-Anna bent her head in assent.
-
-“That is precisely what men and women do who seek monastic life.”
-
-Anna looked up at Professor Ward in quick surprise and instinctive
-protest.
-
-“Yes,” he said, with emphasis, “it was just as noble and just as
-cowardly, just as weak and just as strong, as the impulses which make
-monks and nuns. It is what people do who are afraid of life, who do not
-dare to encounter the whole of it, who have not reached the highest
-faith in either God or man.”
-
-“Then you think such a resolution, such a scheme of life, produces weak
-natures, not strong ones?” asked Anna, looking up with her honest,
-steadfast gaze into his eyes.
-
-“I should say narrow natures, and yet I fear I ought to say weak ones
-too. Mrs. Burgess, do you not see yourself the weakness, the narrowness,
-of the position? It is what might be called the department system of
-human life,” and Professor Ward, with rapid gestures, indicated the
-drawing of sharp lines. “It is as if you said to your ego, your
-soul—yourself—whatever,—Go to now, this department of your life is
-religious; it sings hymns, reads a collection of sacred writings at
-regular hours, prays, gives away money to build churches, and performs
-various other exercises definitely stamped as godly. This other
-department loves nature, exults in beauty, pours itself into poetic
-thought, rejoices in music, expresses itself in art: but all this is
-secular, pagan—all men may have this in common who have not accepted my
-particular conception of the divine nature and its dealings with men;
-consequently all this is to be cut off—effaced, fought with to the
-death. Am I right?”
-
-Anna nodded, her face very grave, her breath quickened.
-
-“Does that seem to you a reasonable or even a noble conception? There
-was nobleness, I grant you, in the struggle, just as there was in the
-fortitude of the Spartans; but who feels now a desire to imitate that
-sheer, barbaric effacing of human feeling? No, no. That day has passed.
-We can begin to see life whole to-day; we can see God in nature, in
-poetry, in beauty, in ugliness even. He is all and in all. All things
-are ours and we are God’s! I wish I could make this clear to you.”
-
-“You have, in part,” said Anna, simply.
-
-“No way, however tortuous, by which men have groped after God can be
-indifferent to us, if we have the right sense of humanity. Trust
-yourself, Mrs. Burgess; trust the human heart throughout the ages.
-Believe me, with all the drawbacks, all the falls, and all the blunders,
-it has been an honest heart and is worthy of reverence and devout study.
-‘Trust God: see all, nor be afraid.’”
-
-“I have seen only one side of life, one conception of human nature.”
-
-“That, at least, was a high and lofty one. For stern heroism of thought,
-commend me to that old New England Calvinism in which I see you were
-nurtured. It was fine; I glory in it, just as I glory in heroism
-everywhere, builded up on however mistaken a foundation. The worst of
-it, however, is that it completely deceives the human heart as to
-itself. It is terrible in its power to mislead. The elect are not as
-elect by half as they suppose. Calvin himself helped to burn Servetus,
-which was not really fine of him, you know. But I have said enough. I
-hope I have not wounded you?”
-
-“I do not think so,” said Anna, smiling faintly, “but I am amazed beyond
-everything. All that you say is so new.”
-
-They had reached Professor Ward’s house, which was very near that of
-Madam Burgess.
-
-“I wish you would come in a moment,” said Ward, very gently; “you know
-my wife always likes to see you, and I want to show you some books in
-which I think you would be interested.”
-
-Without reply, Anna passed through the gate which he held open for her,
-and they entered the house together. Mrs. Ward met them, and they all
-went into the professor’s study.
-
-In a few moments Anna was lost in the realm of books so long self-closed
-to her experience. She sat at his desk, and Ward handed her and heaped
-about her rare and beautiful volumes until she became bewildered with
-the sense of intellectual richness and complexity. She looked up at
-last, as he bent over her, turning the leaves of a beautiful old Italian
-edition of Dante’s “Commedia,” and, with a smile beneath which her lips
-trembled, she asked, like a child:—
-
-“Tell me truly, is all this for me, righteously, safely?”
-
-“Did I not tell you?” he asked gently. “‘All things are yours, and you
-are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s.’”
-
-With that day Anna returned to the long-sealed books of her father’s
-love and her own. She read and studied under Professor Ward’s guidance
-and direction, steadily and with eager delight. She did this with no
-further misgiving or doubt. He had succeeded in satisfying her
-conscience, and she moved joyfully along the clear lines of her
-inherited intellectual choice.
-
-As for her father and the example of renunciation he had given her, her
-heart was at rest. That which was perfect being come for him, was not
-that which had been in part done away?
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVIII
-
- Are you the new person drawn toward me?
- To begin with take warning, I am surely far different from what you
- suppose;
- Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal?
-
- · · · · ·
-
- Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloyed satisfaction?
-
- · · · · ·
-
- Do you see no further than this façade, this smooth and tolerant manner
- of me?
- Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic
- man?
- Have you no thought, O dreamer, that it may be all maya, illusion?
- —WALT WHITMAN.
-
-
-In her sittings in the studio of Pierce Everett, Anna had found from
-time to time numbers of an English magazine devoted to social reform.
-Some of these, at Everett’s suggestion, she had taken home with her and
-read with care. Coming to the studio one May afternoon, for the work had
-been laid aside for a time for various reasons, and only resumed with
-the spring, Anna laid down on a table three or four of these magazines
-with the remark:—
-
-“I wish I knew who John Gregory is.”
-
-Everett glanced up quickly.
-
-“I mean the man who wrote those articles on the ‘Social Ideals of
-Jesus,’” added Anna.
-
-“Do you like them?” asked Everett.
-
-“I do not know how to answer that question,” said Anna, musingly;
-“perhaps you hardly can say you like what makes you thoroughly
-uncomfortable. What he says of the immorality of a life of selfish ease
-appeals to me powerfully.”
-
-“It is a great arraignment,” said Everett, working on in apparent
-absorbedness.
-
-“What stirs me so deeply,” continued Anna, “is that this writer not only
-says what I believe to be true, but that he makes you feel a sense of
-power, authority, finality almost, in the way he says it. And by that,
-you know, I do not mean that he is authoritative or autocratic; it is
-simply that he writes as one who sees, who knows, who has gone beyond
-the mists of doubt and has a clear vision.”
-
-“You are quite right, Mrs. Burgess,” said Everett, quietly, looking up
-from his work, his eyes kindling with unwonted light. “John Gregory is a
-man of his generation—a seer; as you say, one who sees. He is my master.
-You did not know, perhaps, that I am a socialist?”
-
-“No,” Anna said simply; “I do not even rightly know what a socialist
-is.”
-
-“It is, as far as my personal definition is concerned,—there are a dozen
-others,—a man who believes that the aim of individual and private gain
-and advantage, to the ignoring of the interests of his fellow-men, is
-immoral; this, whether it is the struggle for the man’s salvation in a
-future life, or his social or material advancement in this.”
-
-Anna looked very sober. In a moment of silence, she was asking herself,
-“I wonder what becomes of people who are forced into lives of selfish
-inaction; who have to live luxuriously when they don’t want to; who are
-obliged to go in carriages when they far prefer walking; and who find
-their hands tied whenever they seek any line of effort not absolutely
-conventional?”
-
-Looking up then with a sudden smile, she exclaimed, “I should like to
-ask this Mr. Gregory a few questions!”
-
-“Perhaps you may be able to some time. He is in this country now, and he
-is so good as to honour me with his personal friendship. However, he
-passes like night from land to land; one can never count upon his
-coming, or plan for his staying an hour. But if I can bring it about,
-Mrs. Burgess, you shall meet some time.”
-
-“Thank you. What is he? A clergyman, a teacher, or what?”
-
-“You found something a little sermonic in his articles?” and Everett
-smiled. “I believe he can never throw it off entirely. He is an Oxford
-man, a scholar, and a writer on sociology. He is first and last and
-always, however, a Christian in the purest and most practical sense.”
-
-“That seemed to me unmistakable.”
-
-“He used to be a preacher; in fact, he was for a number of years a
-famous evangelist in England, and also in this country. He was led into
-that work by a sense of obligation. I should almost think you must have
-heard of his wonderful success. John Gregory—his name was in everybody’s
-mouth a few years ago.”
-
-Anna tried to recall some vague sense of association with the name,
-which failed to declare itself plainly.
-
-“He was holding great revival meetings somewhere in New England, simply
-sweeping everything before him; all the great cities were seeking him,
-you know his income could have been almost anything he would have made
-it. All this I know, but I never heard a word of it from Gregory
-himself.”
-
-“He is not doing this still?”
-
-“I will tell you. Really to understand, you must try to imagine
-something of the man’s personality. He has in the highest degree that
-indefinable quality which we usually call magnetism. He has an almost
-irresistible personal influence with many people. Well, on a certain
-night, four or five years ago, I should think, during the course of a
-most successful meeting, it suddenly became clear to him that he was
-bringing the people in that audience to a religious crisis, and to a
-committal of themselves to a profession of a knowledge of God, by
-doubtful means. I cannot tell you the details, I have forgotten them;
-but I know that he went through something like agony in that meeting,
-and that in saying the words ‘The Spirit is here,’ he had an
-overwhelming sense of presumption and even of blasphemy. He did not know
-that the Spirit was present. He was not sure but the influence at work
-was the product of music, of oratory, of his own will and personality,
-of the contagion of an excited crowd—in short, was purely human. If this
-were so, what could the results be but confusion and dismay when the
-hour of reaction should come? He was borne down by a sense of pity and
-remorse even for the coming spiritual doubts and struggles of the people
-who were at that hour placed almost helplessly in his hands, and
-abruptly he left the place—hall, whatever it was. That night in his
-hotel he made no attempt to sleep, but studied the situation, its
-dangers, its losses, its benefits, with the result that he never again
-held that order of revival meetings. Whatever good other men might do
-with the forces at work and put into their hands to wield at such
-crises, for himself he was convinced that the human had usurped the
-divine, and made of him, not only an unauthorized experimenter with
-souls, but a violator of their sacred rights, albeit hitherto
-unconsciously to himself.”
-
-“What has he been doing since?”
-
-“Studying. He has gone deeply into social and religious problems, has
-travelled largely, has seen and talked with many of the most famous
-leaders of modern thought, and I think he has now some large plans which
-are maturing slowly. Meanwhile he writes such things as you have read.”
-
-The following week Anna was again in Everett’s studio. This sitting, he
-promised her as it drew to a close, should be the last, as he could
-finish the picture without her.
-
-“Am I to see it now?” asked Anna, timidly.
-
-“Not quite yet, if you can be patient still after such long
-forbearance,” was the answer, given with a bright but half-pleading
-smile. “I want you to like the thing if you can, Mrs. Burgess, and I
-know my chances are better if you see it when the final touches are on.”
-
-“Very well. I am not in a hurry.”
-
-When Anna left the studio the sun was low and the room fast growing
-shadowy. Seeing how hard and intensely Everett was working to use the
-last light of the day, she insisted that he should not come down the
-three long flights of stairs with her. The studio was at the top of the
-house. They parted, therefore, with a brief, cordial good-by, and
-earnest thanks from the young artist, whose admiration and reverence for
-his model had grown with every hour spent in her presence.
-
-On the second flight of stairs Anna encountered the housemaid coming up,
-a tray with a card in her hand. Otherwise the house seemed strangely
-still and deserted that evening. As she descended slowly from the broad
-landing of the main staircase, where a window of stained glass threw a
-deep radiance from the western sky like a shaft of colour down into the
-dim hall below, Anna perceived that some one stood there, waiting.
-
-As she looked, amazement and a strange, deep joy took hold on her. The
-man who stood with arms crossed upon his breast where the shaft of light
-fell full upon him in the gathering shadow was of heroic height and
-stature, with a large leonine head, grey hair thrown carelessly from his
-forehead, strong features, and eyes stern and grave in their fixed look
-straight before him as he stood.
-
-It was not the first time that Anna Mallison had confronted this face.
-Twice in her girlhood she had seen it as she saw it now. It was the face
-of her dream, the dream which for years secretly dominated her inner
-life as a vision of human power and greatness touched with supernatural
-light. Even in later time, in this year of her Fulham life, she had at
-intervals recalled that presence and influence distinctly, and never
-without quickened pulses and mysterious longing. And now she saw bodily
-before her the very shape and substance of her dream.
-
-With her heart beating violently and her breath painfully quickened, she
-proceeded down the stairs, through the hall, and so past the place where
-the stranger stood. When she reached him he became aware of her presence
-for the first time. Throwing back his head slightly with the action of
-one surprised, he met Anna’s eyes lifted with timid joy and dreamlike
-appeal to his face, and smiled, bending slightly as if in spiritual
-bestowment, and shedding into her heart the inexplicable delight which
-she had known before only as the effluence of a dream.
-
-Neither spoke. The house door opened and closed, and Anna hastened down
-the street alone under the pale, clear sky, with a sense that the
-greatest event of her life had befallen her, but she knew not what it
-was. As she went on her homeward way she seemed to herself to be
-palpably taken up and borne onward by a power beyond herself, as of some
-rushing, mighty “wind of destiny.”
-
-She found her husband at home, alone in the dusky library by an
-oppressive fire. She wanted to tell him what had happened; but when she
-sought to do this she found that nothing had happened; there was nothing
-to tell unless she should seek to put into words that mysterious dream
-of her past, and this she found impossible. The dream was her own. No
-one else could understand.
-
-Keith had returned from a long and tiresome journey in her absence, and
-Anna was filled with penitence that she had not been in the house to
-receive him and make him comfortable. He looked worn and dispirited, and
-complained of the weather, which she had thought celestial, but which
-prostrated his strength.
-
-In her quiet, skilful way she ministered to him, hiding in her heart the
-deep happiness in which no one could share, and as she bathed his head
-he caught her hand and kissed it.
-
-“Oh, my wife,” he said, so low that she could hardly hear, “you are too
-beautiful, too wonderful for a miserable weakling of a man like me; but
-how I love you, Anna! Tell me that I do not spoil your life.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIX
-
- I am holy while I stand
- Circumcrossed by thy pure hand;
- But when that is gone again,
- I, as others, am profane.
- —ROBERT HERRICK.
-
-
-John Gregory stood in the studio with his friend, the first greetings
-over.
-
-“May I look at your work?” he asked, approaching Everett’s easel. The
-younger man stood behind him with sensitive, changing colour, and
-something almost like trepidation in the expression of his face.
-
-There was a certain quality of command in John Gregory, of which he was
-himself, perhaps, usually unconscious, which produced in many minds a
-disproportionate anxiety to win his approval. As he stood now before
-Everett’s easel, however, he was not the awe-inspiring figure of Anna’s
-dream, or even of its sudden fulfilment, but simply an English gentleman
-in his rough travelling tweeds, a man of fifty or thereabout, noticeable
-for his height and splendid proportion, for a kind of rugged harmony of
-feature, and for the peculiarly piercing quality of his glance. His
-manner was characterized by repose which might have appeared stolidity
-had not the fire in his eyes denied the suggestion; his voice was deep
-and full, and he spoke with the roll and rhythm of accent common to
-educated Englishmen. The aspect of the man produced, altogether, an
-effect of almost careless freedom from form, the sense that here was one
-who had to do with what was actual and imperative, not with the
-adventitious and artificial; in fine, an essentially masculine and
-virile individuality,—a man born to lead, not to follow.
-
-Beside him, Pierce Everett, with his delicate mobility of face and the
-slender grace of his frame, looked boyish and even effeminate, but there
-was nothing of superiority or patronage in Gregory’s bearing toward the
-young artist, but rather a kind of affectionate comradery peculiarly
-winning, and he entered into the study of the young man’s work with
-cordial and sympathetic interest.
-
-The canvas before them was not a large one; the composition extremely
-simple; the single figure it presented was set in against a background
-of cold, low tones of yellow. A crumbling tomb of hewn stone, with tufts
-of dry grass growing in the crevices, hoary with age, stained with
-decay, was set against a steep hillside of sterile limestone. Leaning
-upon a broken pillar of this tomb stood the figure of a young girl, her
-hands dropped carelessly upon the rough stone before her, her head
-lifted and encircled by a faint nimbus, the eyes fixed in absorbed
-contemplation, and yet with a child’s passionless calm. The outlines of
-the figure, in white Oriental dress, were those of extreme youth,
-undeveloped and severe, the attitude had an unconscious childlike grace,
-the expression of the face was that of awe and wonder, with a curious
-mingling of joy and dread. The subject, easily guessed, was the Virgin
-in Contemplation in early girlhood.
-
-The picture was nearly finished, only the detail of the foreground
-remained incomplete.
-
-John Gregory stood for some time in silence. The face and figure before
-him possessed the expression of high, spiritual quality common to the
-early Florentines; there was little of fleshly or earthly beauty, but an
-aura of celestial purity, of virginal innocence and devout aspiration,
-was the more perceived.
-
-“You have painted, like Fra Angelico, Everett, with heaven in your
-heart.”
-
-Gregory spoke at last. The artist drew a long breath and turned away,
-satisfied. They both found chairs then, and settled down for an hour of
-talk.
-
-“Where could you find a model for such a conception? It would be most
-difficult, I should think, in our self-conscious, sophisticated, modern
-life.”
-
-“It was my model who created my picture,” replied Everett. “Mrs. Keith
-Burgess is the lady’s name. Seeing her at church, when she came here a
-bride, gave me my first thought of the thing.”
-
-Gregory looked at him meditatively.
-
-“It is most remarkable that a woman who was married could have suggested
-your little Mary there, with that child’s unconsciousness in her eyes,
-that obviously virginal soul. When a woman has loved a man, she has
-another look.”
-
-Everett was surprised at this comment from Gregory, who had never
-married, and who was peculiarly silent and indifferent commonly when the
-subject of love or marriage was touched in conversation. He answered
-presently:
-
-“When Mrs. Burgess was married and came here, she was in a sense a
-child. She was thoughtful and serious beyond her years in religious
-concerns, but quite undeveloped on all other lines, and as inexperienced
-in the motives and energies of the modern world as a child—I think one
-might have described her then as a very religious child.”
-
-“Has she changed greatly?”
-
-“Not so much, and yet somewhat. She has begun to read, you see, which
-she never had done except on certain scholastic and religious lines; she
-has begun to think for herself somewhat, and in a sense, one could say,
-she has begun to live.”
-
-John Gregory did not reply, but he said to himself that if she had begun
-to love she could not have furnished his friend with the inspiration and
-the model for just that picture.
-
-He had come to Fulham only for the evening, being on his way to take a
-steamer from Montreal back to England. The two men had dinner together,
-and then, returning to the studio, conversed long and earnestly. Gregory
-spoke freely but not fully of plans which absorbed him, but which were
-not yet matured. Some theory of social coöperation was in full
-possession of his mind, and he had small consideration for things
-outside. Everett listened with serious attention to all that he said,
-and when he rose to make ready for departure he remarked:—
-
-“Mr. Gregory, when the time comes that you are ready to carry into
-execution any plan embodying this principle of brotherhood, count on me,
-if you think me worthy. I am ready to follow you—anywhere.”
-
-Gregory looked down upon the young man with his grave and winning smile.
-
-“Thank you, Everett; I shall remember. But do you know, my dear fellow,
-I want to ask a tremendous favour of you now, this very night?”
-
-“Say on,” returned the other.
-
-Gregory had crossed the room to the easel, and now stood with a look
-intent on the picture of the young Virgin.
-
-“It is a bold request, but I want to buy this picture of you now—before
-you have a chance to touch it again. Who knows but you may spoil it? It
-interests me unusually, and I want to take it with me to England,—to do
-that it must go with me to-night. I will pay you any price you have in
-mind. I want it for a purpose, Everett.”
-
-“What! you mean that I should let it go to-night, before I have finished
-it, or shown it to Mrs. Burgess herself even?” and Everett looked almost
-aghast. “She has never seen it, even once, you know.”
-
-“Yes,” said the other, looking fully into the artist’s excited face with
-undisturbed quietness; “that is exactly what I ask of you. I will
-promise to return the painting to you at some future date if that should
-be your wish. I shall be over here again in a year.”
-
-Everett stood for a moment, reflecting.
-
-“I am very fond of the picture,” he said slowly.
-
-“So am I,” said the other, smiling.
-
-Everett glanced up, and caught the smile, and felt a strange control in
-it.
-
-“You will have to take it,” he said, with a nervous laugh. “There is no
-other way.”
-
-“Then, put a good price on it, my boy,” said Gregory, with
-matter-of-fact brevity.
-
-“You will agree not to exhibit it anywhere, publicly?”
-
-“Certainly. I could not do that without Mrs. Burgess’s consent.”
-
-“How I shall make my peace with her, I am sure I cannot imagine,”
-murmured Everett, as he took the painting from its place, and laid it on
-the table preparatory to packing it.
-
-“Will you tell her, please,” said Gregory, quite unmoved, “that I wanted
-the picture, and will agree to make good use of it?”
-
-A sudden clearing passed over Everett’s clouded face.
-
-“Oh, to be sure, to be sure!” he cried; “Mrs. Burgess has read your
-recent articles in the _Economist_, and she is quite enthusiastic over
-them. It will be all right.”
-
-“I am sure it will,” said John Gregory. He was thinking of Anna’s face
-as she had passed him in the hall below, but he did not mention the fact
-that they had met to Everett.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XX
-
- That which has caused the miserable failure of all the efforts of
- natural religion is that its founders have not had the courage to
- lay hold upon the hearts of men, consenting to no partition. They
- have not understood the imperious desire for immolation which lies
- in the depths of every soul, and souls have taken their revenge in
- not heeding those too lukewarm lovers.
-
- —_Life of St. Francis._ SABATIER.
-
- To be content to have while others have not, to be content to be
- right while others are bound and crushed with wrong, to be content
- to be saved apart from the common life, to seek heaven while our
- brothers are in hell, is deepest perdition and not salvation; it is
- the mark of Cain in a new form.—G. D. HERRON.
-
-
-In the few years which followed her early married life, the cords of
-convention, slender, and strong as threads of silk, were wound closer
-and closer about Anna Burgess outwardly. As she grew older, Keith’s
-mother grew more immovable in her social creed, and ruled her family
-more rigidly. Anna might read and study, but if she would please her
-mother-in-law, it must be in the mildest of manners, and on strictly
-suitable and ladylike lines; religious biography was recommended, while
-all literature which conveyed a touch of freedom in thought, or a
-suggestion of a change in social conditions, was viewed with horror.
-
-Anna might also be charitable, but this too must be on strictly
-conventional lines. There were numerous benevolent organizations upheld
-by Fulham’s fashionable women; the name of Mrs. Keith Burgess might
-figure frequently on these,—to this there would be no opposition, but
-individual and sporadic work among the poor was uniformly discouraged.
-The family carriage was often sent into the slums of the city on errands
-of bestowal as from the wealthy to those “less favoured,” but when Anna
-would have liked the carriage to take her on social calls on equal
-terms, in respectable but unfashionable regions, she met with a cold
-disfavour and unyielding lack of compliance.
-
-Malvina Loveland, who had been married to the Rev. Frank Nichols, not
-long after Anna’s marriage, had come again within Anna’s horizon.
-Through Keith’s personal influence, exerted at Mr. Nichols’s request, a
-call had been extended to him to the pastorate of a church in Fulham.
-This church was not very large and not particularly prominent;
-furthermore, it was not in the “right” part of Fulham geographically,
-which was as distinctly limited as the social circle.
-
-The Nicholses, delighted to come to Fulham as a university town of some
-importance, and to a church far more promising of obvious success than
-the mission enterprise in which they had worked in Burlington,
-innocently rented a cosey modern house on a pleasant street which, had
-they but known it, distinctly stamped them as socially ineligible from
-the day of their arrival.
-
-Mally, dreaming of nothing of the kind, entered upon what she expected
-to be a somewhat brilliant life socially, into which she saw her husband
-and herself conducted easily and naturally by the Keith Burgesses.
-
-Anna had received her old friend with most affectionate cordiality, and
-had spent days of hard work in helping her to order her house, which, as
-there was a baby and but one servant, was not a small undertaking. Madam
-Burgess had submitted with patience to the long absences and the
-preoccupation of her daughter-in-law thus involved, and had even
-responded without demur to Anna’s timid request that they might have her
-old friends to dinner.
-
-This dinner closed the Nichols episode from the social point of view.
-The guests were full of cheerful and unfeigned admiration, eager to
-please, easy to be pleased, but their good will availed them nothing.
-Even Anna could not fail now to perceive poor Mally’s inherent
-provincialness, but had she been apparently to the manner born, it would
-have made no difference with Madam Burgess. The essential qualifications
-to entrance into her world being lacking, her punctilious and attentive
-courtesy for the occasion simply covered the inevitable and absolute
-finality of it.
-
-The Nicholses themselves, while by no means perceiving that the social
-career to which they had looked forward in Fulham was ended with this
-visit instead of begun, departed from the Burgess mansion with a vague
-sense of chill which all Anna’s efforts could not counteract. They were
-never invited there again. Madam Burgess had done her duty by her son’s
-wife’s early friends, and the incident, as far as she was concerned, was
-closed.
-
-Anna, burning with a desire to make up to Mally for the inevitable
-disappointment which she foresaw, and hotly, although silently,
-resenting the social narrowness which excluded all men and women whose
-lives had not been run in the one fixed mould, devoted herself
-personally to her old friend with double ardour. More than this she
-could not do. Mally wondered, as the months passed and they settled down
-to the undivided intercourse of their own obscure church and
-neighbourhood, that Anna made no attempt to introduce her into her own
-aristocratic circle. Over and over she bit back the question which would
-reach her lips, “Why?” Her heart fermented with bitterness and
-resentment, and her husband was taxed to the utmost to subdue and
-sweeten the tumult of her wounded feeling.
-
-Another year brought Mally another baby, greatly to her own
-dissatisfaction. Poor Anna, the great passion of motherhood within her
-still baffled and unfulfilled, poured out her soul upon mother and child
-in vicarious ecstasy, and went home to lie awake for many nights with
-her ceaseless, thwarted yearning for a child; and thus these two women
-each longed passionately for what the other, possessing, found a burden
-rather than a joy.
-
-As time went on, Anna, bound to a certain outward course of life alien
-to her natural bent, lived her own life just below the surface, a life
-like a flame burning beneath ice. All the master motives of her nature
-unapplied; all the initial motives with which life had begun,
-neutralized and made ineffective, she reached, five years of married
-life over, the point which in any human development is one of
-danger,—the point when great personal forces are dammed up by barriers
-of external circumstance, when the prime powers and passions are without
-adequate expression.
-
-Meanwhile Keith Burgess, his young enthusiasms having lost their first
-freshness, the limitations of physical weakness and suffering making
-themselves more and more felt, settled into a narrow routine of life and
-thought. As his physique gradually seemed to shrivel and his delicacy of
-form and feature to increase, a resemblance to his mother, scarcely
-observable in his younger manhood, became at times striking. His
-missionary activity passed from its original fresh ardour into a system
-of petty details, increasingly formal and perfunctory, even to Anna’s
-reluctant perception.
-
-Perhaps it was due to Keith’s protracted absences from home, perhaps
-partly to his physical exhaustion, which made him dull and unresponsive
-when with her, but Anna felt, against her own will, a growing divergence
-in thought and interest between them. He was delicately sympathetic,
-chivalrously attentive, to her in all outward ways; but when she longed
-with eager craving for his participation in the life of thought and
-purpose which was stirring the depths of her nature in secret, she found
-scant response.
-
-Driven inward thus at every point, Anna’s essential life centred itself
-more and more upon the new message of social brotherhood which she had
-found in the writings of John Gregory; and, unconsciously to herself,
-the ruling figure in her mind, as the symbol of the human power and
-freedom for which she longed, was his. The “counterfeit presentment” of
-this man in her dream had ruled her girlish imagination; and now his
-actual presence, though but once encountered, exercised an influence
-over her maturer life no less mysterious and no less profound. To this
-influence fresh strength was given by the relation, never-so-slight,
-which existed between them by reason of Gregory’s possession of the
-picture painted by Everett. How she was represented was still all
-unknown to her, still unasked; but must it not be that, owning this
-mysterious image of her face, his thoughts would sometimes turn to her?
-This thought stirred Anna with a thrill, half of joy, half of fear.
-
-An interruption in the routine of their Fulham life occurred after Keith
-had served the missionary society for a period of five years. An illness
-which manifested, as well as increased, his physical inability to
-continue in his difficult duties brought Keith and Anna to a sudden
-course of action. Keith resigned his official position, and, as soon as
-he was able to travel, they sailed for Europe for a year’s absence.
-
-This was a year of rapid development and of abounding happiness to Anna.
-Alone and unguarded in their life together for the first time since
-their marriage, the husband and wife grew together in new sympathy, and
-fed their spirits on the beauty and wonder of art and the majesty of
-nature in fond accord. The fulness and richness and complexity of the
-working of the human spirit throughout the ages were revealed to Anna;
-the grandeur and purity of dedicated lives of creeds unlike and even
-hostile to her own opened her eyes to a new and broader view of human
-and divine relations. Reverence, love, and sympathy began to usurp the
-place of dogma, division, and exclusion in her mental energies. She
-began to perceive that the righteous were not wholly righteous, nor the
-wicked wholly wicked. The old ground plan of the moral universe with
-which she had started in life looked now a mean and narrow thing. Larger
-hopes and a bolder faith awoke in her.
-
-And so in mind, and also in body, Anna grew joyously and freely; even
-her attitudes and motions expressed a new harmony, while suavity and
-grace of outline succeeded to the meagre and angular proportions of her
-youth.
-
-The return to Fulham came, when it could no longer be postponed, as an
-unwelcome period to their best year of life. Madam Burgess received her
-children with affectionate, albeit restrained, cordiality, and watched
-Anna with keen eyes on which no change, however slight, was lost.
-
-When mother and son were left alone on the night of the return, as on
-the night when Keith brought his wife home a bride, Madam Burgess spoke
-plainly and directly of Anna. She had never discussed her
-characteristics from that night until the present, but she felt that
-another epoch was reached, and a few remarks would be appropriate.
-
-“My son,” she said, “do you remember the night when you brought Anna
-home to this house as a bride?”
-
-“Perfectly, mother.”
-
-“So do I. I have been going back continually in thought to-night to that
-time. Without undue partiality, Keith, I think we are justified in a
-little self-congratulation. Anna has developed slowly, but she has now
-reached the first and best bloom of her maturity. You brought her here a
-shy, angular, country-bred, undeveloped girl, although I will not deny
-that she had distinction, even then; to-night you bring her again not
-only a _distingué_ but a beautiful woman,—yes, Keith, I really mean
-it,—a beautiful woman, and with a certain charm about her which makes
-her capable of being a social leader, if she chooses to exert her power.
-I understand she has purchased some good gowns in Paris. I have about
-concluded to give a reception next month in honour of your return, if my
-health permits.”
-
-The reception, which Madam Burgess’s health was favoured to permit,
-proved to be as brilliant an event as social conditions in Fulham
-rendered possible. The fine old house was radiant with flowers and
-wax-lights, and the company which was gathered was the most
-distinguished which the little city could muster. In the midst of all
-the gay array stood Keith and Anna,—he with his small, slight figure,
-his scrupulously gentlemanly air, his thin, worn face and nervous
-manner; she tall and stately, with her characteristic repose illuminated
-by new springs of thought, perception, and feeling, full of swift and
-radiant response to each newcomer’s word, overflowing with the first
-fresh joy of her awakened social instinct.
-
-Professor Ward stood with Pierce Everett aside, and, watching Anna, said
-in a lowered voice:—
-
-“Mrs. Burgess is a woman now, through and through. Would you know her
-for the girl whom Keith brought here half a dozen years ago?”
-
-“I could not find my little maiden Mary in that queenly creature!”
-exclaimed Everett.
-
-“No; you were just in time with that mysterious disappearance of yours,
-bad luck to you that you made way with it, however you did!”
-
-“It has taken her a good while to accept the world’s standards and fit
-herself to the world’s groove, but Madam Burgess has been patient and
-diligent, and I think she has succeeded at last,” said Everett gravely;
-“she will run along all right after this.”
-
-“You think Mrs. Keith will live to sustain the family traditions
-hereafter, do you? And Keith, what is to become of him? He seems to have
-dropped off his missionary enthusiasm with singular facility.”
-
-“Precisely. You will have to create a nice little chair for him in the
-university now, to keep him in the correct line of his descent. By and
-by, you know, he will have the estate to administer. That will be
-something of an occupation.”
-
-“Then he probably will take to collecting things,” Ward added, “coins or
-autographs—”
-
-“Oh, come, Ward, you’re too bad,” laughed Everett. “You don’t know Keith
-Burgess as well as I do.”
-
-Later in the evening Anna was summoned from her guests to speak with
-some one who had called on an urgent matter which could not be put by
-until another time.
-
-The fine hall, as she passed along it, was alive with lights, fragrance,
-music, and airy gayety; her own elastic step, her exquisite dress, her
-joyous excitement in the first taste of social triumph which the evening
-was bringing to her, accorded well with the environment. For the first
-time in her life, Anna had seen that she was beautiful; had felt the
-potent charm of her own personality; had found that she could draw to
-herself the homage and admiration of her social world. These perceptions
-had not excited her unduly, but they had given her a new sense of
-herself, a strong exhilaration which expressed itself in the lustre of
-her eyes, the brightness of every tone and tint of her face, in the way
-she held her head, in the clear, thrilling cadence of her voice.
-
-Once again, after long dimness and confusion, life seemed about to
-declare itself to her, and the energies of her nature to find a free
-channel. At last she might move in the line of least resistance, and
-fill the place she was expected to fill, without further conflict or
-question.
-
-It looked a pleasant path that night, and submission a sweet and
-gracious thing.
-
-With a half smile still on her lips, and the spirit of the hour full
-upon her, Anna came to the house door and opened it upon the outer
-vestibule, where she had been told the messenger would await her.
-
-The man who stood there was John Gregory.
-
-Anna softly closed the door behind her, and looked up into his face. It
-wore a different aspect from that which she remembered, for it was stern
-and unsmiling, and more deeply grave and worn than she had seen it. But
-even more than before the person of the man seemed to overawe her with a
-sense of power and command.
-
-“Do you remember me, Mrs. Burgess?” he asked simply.
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“And I know you through my friend, through the picture he painted once
-of you. You must pardon my intruding upon you to-night. I could not do
-otherwise. I have a message for you, and I am here only for to-night.”
-
-Anna did not speak, but her eyes were fixed upon his in earnest
-question, as if in some mysterious way he held destiny in his hands.
-
-“No man could paint that picture from you now,” he proceeded slowly,
-gently, and yet with a kind of unflinching severity; “you had the vision
-then. You have lost it now. You saw God once. To-night you see the
-world. Once your heart ached for the sorrows of others; now it thrills
-with your own joys. You have given up great purposes, and are accepting
-small ones. I have been sent to say to you: keep the word of the kingdom
-and patience of Christ steadfast to the end, and hold that fast which
-was given that no man take your crown.”
-
-These words, spoken with the solemnity of a prophetic admonition,
-pierced Anna’s consciousness.
-
-A faint cry, as if in remonstrance, broke from her lips, but already
-Gregory had turned, and before she could speak she found herself alone.
-
-With strong control Anna returned, and mingled with her guests without
-perceptible change of manner. When, however, the last carriage had
-rolled down the street, and the house itself was dark and still, she
-escaped alone to her own room to live over and over again that strange
-summons and challenge of John Gregory.
-
-Now the sense of what he had said roused her to burning indignation and
-protest, and again to contrition. She knew that she was blameless and
-approved if tried by the standards of the people now about her, and they
-were the irreproachable, church-going people of Fulham. She was simply
-conforming to the demands of an orderly and balanced social life, and
-pleasing those most interested in her. But she also knew that, as tried
-by the standards of her father, and her own early convictions, in the
-social and intellectual ambitions which now animated her, she was
-learning to love “the world and the things of the world,” to know “the
-lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.” The
-voice of her past spoke clearly through the voice of John Gregory and
-must be heard. The things which she had thought to put away forever in
-the solemn dedication of her girlhood had gradually returned, and
-silently established themselves in her life in the guise of duties,
-necessities, conformities to the wishes of others.
-
-But of late she had come to regard those early scruples almost as
-superstitious. Where lay the absolute right—the truth? the will of God
-concerning her? Why was life so hard? Why was it impossible to even know
-the good? What right had John Gregory to spoil, as he had spoiled, this
-latest development of life for her, and give her nothing in its place?
-She resented his interference, and yet felt that she should inevitably
-yield herself to its influence.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXI
-
- My thwarted woman-thoughts have inward turned,
- And that vain milk like acid in me eats.
- Have I not in my thought trained little feet
- To venture, and taught little lips to move
- Until they shaped the wonder of a word?
- I am long practised. O those children, mine!
- Mine, doubly mine: and yet I cannot touch them,
- I cannot see them, hear them—Does great God
- Expect I shall clasp air and kiss the wind
- For ever? And the budding cometh on,
- The burgeoning, the cruel flowering:
- At night the quickening splash of rain, at dawn
- That muffled call of birds how like to babes;
- And I amid these sights and sounds must starve—
- I, with so much to give, perish of thrift!
- Omitted by his casual dew!
- —STEPHEN PHILLIPS.
-
-
-The next morning Anna was sent for to go to Mrs. Nichols, whom she had
-hardly seen since her return from Europe.
-
-She found her sitting in her nursery with her two little children
-playing about her feet. She was near her third confinement, and in the
-shadow of her imminent peril and the heavy repose laid upon body and
-spirit by her condition there was an indescribable dignity about her
-which Anna had never felt until now.
-
-Before she left, Mally, with wistful eyes, looked up to her, and said,
-timidly:—
-
-“Anna, you love little children. No one that I ever saw takes mine in
-her arms as you do—not even I who am their mother.”
-
-“Oh, Mally!” Anna cried, sharp tears piercing their way. “If that is
-true, it must be because my heart never stops aching for a child of my
-own. I know now that we shall never have children, and I try to be
-reconciled; but you can never know, dear, how I envy you.”
-
-“Do not envy me,” Mally answered, her lips trembling. “You do not know
-what it means to sit here to-day and see the shining of the sun on the
-children’s hair, and touch their little heads with my hand, and smell
-those roses you brought, and yet think that to-morrow at this time I may
-be gone beyond breath, sight, the sun, the children—”
-
-“Dear, don’t, don’t,” Anna pleaded; “you must not think so. You have
-been helped through safely before; you will be again. People always have
-these times of dread.”
-
-Mally shook her head, but answered quietly:—
-
-“I have never felt before like this, but only God knows. But this is why
-I sent for you: If my little baby lives, and is a perfect child, and I
-am taken away, would you, Anna, do you think you could—take my baby for
-your own, for always?”
-
-“Oh, if I could!” and all Anna’s heart went out in the cry, and Mally
-saw the love which shone in her eyes and wondered at her strange beauty.
-
-“I am sure you will come through safely as you have before,” she said,
-“but this I promise you, Mally,” taking her friend’s hand and holding it
-fast, “if you should be taken from your children, and they will let
-me,—I mean if my husband and his mother should consent, for I am not
-quite free, you see,—I will take your little baby and it shall be my
-very own, and I will be its mother while we both live, God helping me.”
-
-A look of deep joy and relief in Mally’s poor pale face was full
-response, and the two parted with a sense of a deeper union of spirit
-than they had ever known before.
-
-Early on the following morning, after a wakeful and anxious night, Anna
-hastened to the Nicholses’ home.
-
-Mally’s husband met her with a stricken face, for a swift and sudden
-blow had fallen; her trial had come and his wife had died, hardly an
-hour before. There had been no time to send for Anna, although Mally had
-spoken her name almost at the last.
-
-They stood together in the poor, gay little parlour which Mally had
-adorned with high hopes of the abundant life into which she fancied
-herself entering,—the young husband with his grief-wrung, ashy face,
-Anna with her heart melted in sorrow and compassion. While neither could
-speak for their tears, the faint wail of a little child smote upon the
-silence from a room within.
-
-“The baby?” Anna asked under her breath.
-
-A deeper darkness seemed to settle upon Nichols’s face.
-
-“Yes, a boy. A fine little fellow, they say; but I feel as if I could
-not look at him. I have not seen him.”
-
-Anna turned and left the room, and in another moment, in the dark inner
-room where she had sat with Mally in the sunshine the day before, she
-took Mally’s baby into her arms, and bent her head above it with a great
-sense of motherhood breaking over her spirit like a wave from an
-infinite sea.
-
-She stood and held the tiny creature for many moments, alone and in
-silence, while joy and sorrow, life and death, passed by her and
-revealed themselves. Then she laid the baby down and went up to the room
-where Mally lay, white and still, with something of the beauty of her
-girlhood in her face, and the great added majesty of motherhood and
-death. On her knees Anna bent over the unanswering hand which yesterday
-she had seen laid warmly on the fair curls of her little children, and,
-in the hush and awe of the place, spoke again her solemn promise of
-yesterday.
-
-After that she came down to the children and their father, and took
-quietly into her own hands the many cares which the day had brought.
-
-It was late in the evening when Anna, exhausted and unnerved, returned
-home. She found Keith and his mother waiting for her in the
-library,—Keith hastening to welcome her with tender sympathy, Madam
-Burgess a shade colder than usual beneath a surface of suitable phrases
-of solicitude and condolence. She had been absolutely indifferent to
-Mrs. Nichols in life, and did not find her deeply interesting even in
-death. Furthermore, she always resented Anna’s spending herself upon
-that family, and in the present affliction she felt that flowers and a
-ten-minute call would have answered every demand.
-
-If Anna had been steadier and less under the influence of the piteous
-desolation of the home she had left, less absorbed in her own ardent
-purpose, she would have realized that this was not the time or place in
-which to make that purpose known. If she had waited, if she had talked
-with her husband alone, the future of all their lives might have taken a
-different shape. But with the one controlling thought in her mind,
-forgetting how impossible it was for these two, not highly gifted with
-imaginative sympathy, to enter into her own deep emotion, she spoke at
-once of Mally’s request that in the event of her death she should take
-her baby; of her own conditional promise, and of her deep desire to
-fulfil it.
-
-There was a little silence, chill and bleak, and then Keith said, in a
-half-soothing tone as if she had been an excited child, hurrying in with
-a manifestly impossible petition:—
-
-“It was a very sweet and generous wish on your part, Anna; so like you,
-dear.”
-
-Anna looked at him in silence, her lips parted.
-
-Madam Burgess gave a dry cough, and partook of a troche from a small
-silver box which she carried in a lace-trimmed bag.
-
-“Yes, as Keith says, my dear, it was a kind impulse on your part, but it
-certainly was a very singular action on that of your friend. She was
-probably too ill, poor thing, at the time to realize just what she was
-asking. I have no doubt you were quite excusable for giving her some
-sort of a conditional promise, considering all the circumstances. But
-you need have no sense of responsibility in the matter; infants left
-like that never live. It will only be a question of a few weeks’ care
-for any one.”
-
-Anna turned her eyes from her mother-in-law back to her husband in mute
-amazement and appeal. They could not mean to deny her this sacred right!
-It was impossible. And yet a sudden sense of the incongruity of poor
-Mally’s baby in that house smote sharply upon her for the first time.
-
-“If it had been God’s will that we should have had children of our own,
-Anna,” said Keith, in answer to her look, “we should have learned to fit
-ourselves to the many cares and responsibilities involved, I do not
-doubt, as others do; but it is very different to go out of our way to
-assume such cares, not ours in any legitimate sense. I think the
-question is more serious than you realize in the very natural and proper
-emotion which you are passing through in the death of your friend. We
-certainly could not ask mother to take this strange child, and all that
-would be involved in such a relation, into her house; and we are, I am
-sure, as little prepared to leave mother and break up our natural order
-of life,” and Keith smiled with kind conviction into Anna’s face. She
-rose slowly and stood with eyes fixed before her, and a strange light
-was in them, which her husband had never seen before.
-
-“That is all perfectly true, Keith,” said Madam Burgess, as if to finish
-up the case against poor Anna; “and even if all this were not so, there
-would remain one insuperable obstacle to adopting this infant—an
-absolutely insuperable obstacle.”
-
-“What is it?” asked Anna, very low.
-
-“Blood, my dear. I believe in blood, and never, with his mother’s
-consent or approval, could my son give his name, and all that that
-means, to a child of alien stock. Never.” And Madam Burgess closed her
-lips firmly and folded her hands peacefully upon her grey silk gown with
-the consciousness of occupying a perfectly unassailable position.
-
-Anna moved toward the door, a curious effect in her step and bearing as
-of one physically wounded, her head drooped slightly as if in
-submission, her eyes downcast.
-
-When she reached the door, however, a swift change passed over her; a
-sudden energy and power awoke in her, and she turned, and, looking back
-at mother and son, her eyes flashing light, and a smile they had never
-seen before upon her lips, said quietly, but with slow emphasis:—
-
-“You have decided this matter. You have each other; you are satisfied. I
-shall submit, as you know. Once more you have taken my life—its most
-sacred promise and its highest purpose—out of my hands. This time
-another life, too, is involved. One thing only you must let me say, _I
-wonder how you dare_!”
-
-Facing them for an instant in silence, she turned, and went alone to her
-room.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXII
-
- One by one thou dost gather the scattered families out of the
- earthly light into the heavenly glory, from the distractions and
- strife and weariness of time to the peace of eternity. We thank thee
- for the labours and the joys of these mortal years. We thank thee
- for our deep sense of the mysteries that lie beyond our dust.—RUFUS
- ELLIS.
-
- By Thy Rod and Thy Staff comfort us.
- —CHRISTINA ROSSETTI.
-
-
-Two days later, in response to a note from Pierce Everett, Anna went to
-the studio. He wrote that John Gregory had passed through Fulham and had
-left the picture, in which she might still feel some lingering interest.
-
-Anna left Keith and his mother diligently occupied in their daily task
-of arranging and copying Keith’s European letters and journals,
-interspersing them with careful and copious notes from Baedeker. From
-this laborious undertaking, which absorbed mother and son in mutual and
-sympathetic devotion, Anna was self-excluded, simply because she found
-the letters of merely passing interest, but not of marked or lasting
-value and concern. Madam Burgess confessed that she could think of no
-occupation more graceful or becoming a young wife than this of putting
-in permanent form the beautiful and instructive correspondence of her
-beloved husband, and she found a new cause for disapproval in Anna’s
-indifference to the work. In her own heart Anna hid a great protest
-against the substitution of puerile and unproductive work like this, for
-the serious altruistic endeavour to which she still felt that she and
-Keith were both inwardly pledged. But this was an old issue, and one,
-indeed, to-day almost forgotten before her passionate grief concerning
-Mally, buried yesterday, and the promise to her which might not be
-fulfilled. The pitiful cry of Mally’s baby seemed to sound continually
-in her ears.
-
-But another, even deeper, consciousness was that of the condemnation,
-brief, sharp, conclusive, of herself by John Gregory. She believed now
-that his judgment of her and of the line along which she was developing
-was in a measure just—but what then? It had suddenly become definitely
-declared in Anna’s thought, with no further shading or disguise, that a
-life of worldly ease, of self and sense-pleasing, of fashionable charity
-and conventional religion and of intellectual stagnation, was the only
-life which could be lived in harmony with the spirit of her home. Her
-soul lay that day in the calm which often falls upon strong natures when
-profound passions and powers are gathering in upheaval just below the
-surface. To conform, or to revolt, or to lead the wretched life of
-spiritual discord which seeks to avoid alike conformity and freedom,
-were the hard alternatives before Anna, as she thought, that day.
-
-Pierce Everett, meeting her at the door of his studio, was startled by
-the pallor and sadness of her face, like that of her earlier years, but
-forebore to question her. He had expected to see her in the joyous bloom
-of his last view of her; he had looked for her to fulfil his prophecy.
-
-The light tone of badinage and compliment with which he had
-involuntarily started to receive her fell from him now as impossible,
-seeing her face, and in almost utter silence he led her across the room
-and pointed to the picture of the Girlhood of Mary.
-
-After a few moments Anna said simply, without turning to Everett, her
-eyes still on the picture:—
-
-“Did _I_ once look like that?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Mr. Gregory said no one could paint this from me now,” Anna said
-slowly, as if to herself, not knowing that tears were falling down her
-cheeks.
-
-“You are older, that is all,” said Everett, gently.
-
-“No, that is not all. I have lost something which I had then.”
-
-“We all lose something with our child-soul, Mrs. Burgess,” cried
-Everett, earnestly; “but you have gained more than you have lost. John
-Gregory was not fair to you to leave you with a word like that. You were
-a child then; now you are a woman. That face in my picture is not the
-face of a Madonna, yet. It did not seek to be, but we do not blame it
-for that. Should we blame the Mater Dolorosa that she has no longer the
-face of a child?”
-
-“Thank you,” Anna said humbly, and held out her hand, which the young
-man caught in his and held with reverence.
-
-She left the studio hastily, not daring to say more, a childless mother
-of sorrows. The very emptiness of her grief, since no sweet substitution
-of motherhood could be granted her, made it the more intolerable.
-
-Instinctively she went from the Everett’s straight across the city to
-the unfashionable new quarter and to the Nicholses’ home. She found
-Mally’s baby properly cared for, but coldly, by hired and unloving
-hands, and took it into her own arms with yearning motherliness and
-cried over it, easing her heart and murmuring the tender nonsense, the
-artless art which mothers always know, but seldom women who have not
-known motherhood.
-
-Mr. Nichols came in and she told him,—leaving the baby that she might
-surely control herself,—that on account of Madam Burgess’s feeble health
-it had been found impossible for her to carry out Mally’s wish and her
-own. The disappointment of the poor fellow, with his almost impossible
-burden and scanty income, was evident; but he rallied well, and showed a
-simple dignity in the matter which made Anna like him even better than
-she had before.
-
-“I shall watch over the baby, you may depend, and come as often as I
-can,” she said in leaving.
-
-He thanked her, and she made him promise to send for her without delay
-or hesitation if there were illness among the children or other
-emergency, and so came away.
-
-The frail little life, unwarmed and unwelcomed by the love which had
-been bestowed on the other children, seemed to feel itself in an alien
-air, and failed from week to week. Anna spent every moment she could
-with the child, and sought to cherish and shield the tiny, flickering
-flame of life, but in vain. The baby lingered for a month, and then, on
-a bleak March evening, Anna was sent for, to speed its spirit back into
-the unknown from which it had scarcely emerged. She sat all night with
-the child upon her knees, the young father asleep in the leaden sleep of
-unutterable weariness on a sofa in the room adjoining. It is not given
-to a man to know the absolute annihilation of the body by love which
-makes the endurance of long night watches and the supreme skill in
-nursing the prerogative of women.
-
-The nurse came and went at decent intervals with offers of help and of
-food, but Anna quietly declined both. She knew that she was about to
-partake of the sacrament of death, and she wished to receive it fasting,
-and, if it might be, alone. She knew that she only on earth loved the
-little child and longed to keep it, and she meant that it should die in
-loving arms, if they had been denied it for living.
-
-In the slow hours which were yet too swift, as she bent over the small
-pinched face, brooding tenderly over the strange perfection of this
-miniature of humanity, the delicately pencilled eyebrows, the fine
-moulding of the forehead, the exquisite ear with soft fair hair curling
-about it, the little, flower-like hands, Anna wondered, as she never had
-thought to wonder before, at the wastefulness of nature. All this
-exquisite organism made perfect by months of silent upbuilding, a life
-of full strength paid for its faint breath, and then, this too cut off
-before the dawn of consciousness!
-
-Harder to bear was the thought, which would not leave her, that if she
-could have taken the child for her own its life could have been saved. A
-photograph of Mally on the bedroom wall in her wedding-gown looked down
-upon her through the yellow gloom of the night lamp, and the eyes seemed
-to Anna full of sad upbraiding.
-
-In bitterness of soul she groaned aloud:—
-
-“Oh, Mally, Mally, I wanted to keep your baby, but they would not let
-me! He is going back to you, dear. Oh, if I knew that you were glad,
-that you forgive me!”
-
-At the sound of her voice the child on her knees, which had been asleep
-or in a stupor, opened its eyes, and lifted them to hers. They were
-large blue eyes like Mally’s, and for a moment their look was fixed upon
-her own,—a clear, direct look, and, with a thrill of awe, Anna felt a
-_conscious_ look. The instant of that mutual glance with all of mystery,
-of joy, and of wonder which it held, passed; the waxen whiteness of the
-lids fell again, but, as it passed, a sense of great peace fell upon
-Anna’s spirit. The last look of that newborn soul, pure and undefiled,
-had searched her heart, had found her love, had shed the glory of its
-passing into her bruised and cabined spirit.
-
-“Now go, little child, go to God and be at rest; we have known each
-other, and you are mine after all,” she whispered fondly, her tears
-falling like spring rains upon white blossoms.
-
-The dawn-light came into the room, dimming the lamp-light with which it
-could not blend; a tremor passed through the tiny frame, the breath
-fluttered once or twice upon the lips, and the baby died. Anna had
-called the father, and he stood by, watching in heavy oppression.
-
-Quietly, with the great submission of spirit which death brings, Anna
-washed and dressed the little body, putting on the garments of fairylike
-texture and proportion which she had seen Mally making with warm,
-dexterous fingers, a few weeks before. Then, having prayed, she left the
-place and walked home alone through the silent streets, with the
-consecration of the hour full upon her.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIII
-
- He who professeth to believe in one Almighty Creator, and in his Son
- Jesus Christ, and is yet more intent on the honours, profits, and
- friendships of the world than he is, in singleness of heart, to
- stand faithful to the Christian religion, is in the channel of
- idolatry; while the Gentile, who, notwithstanding some mistaken
- opinions, is established in the true principle of virtue, and humbly
- adores an Almighty Power, may be of the number that fear God and
- work righteousness.—JOHN WOOLMAN.
-
-
-A physician’s carriage stood before the house when Anna reached it, and
-within there was a stir unusual for that early hour. Jane met her on the
-landing, and answered her questions.
-
-“Yes, ma’am; Mrs. Burgess, she was all right as far as I could see when
-I helped her get to bed, but I hadn’t got her light out when I heard her
-give a queer kind of groan, and when I got to her, her face was that
-twisted all to one side, that it would make your heart ache to see her.
-But that isn’t so bad now; you’d hardly notice it. And she don’t seem
-paralyzed; she moves ’most any way.”
-
-“Then she is better?”
-
-“Well, ma’am, I don’t know as you could say so much better. The worst of
-it is, her mind ain’t right. She looks sort of blank, and when she talks
-it ain’t natural, but all confused like, and it’s hard, poor lady, for
-her to get anything out; she talks thick and slow, so different from
-herself.”
-
-A moment later Anna saw Keith, and heard the verdict of the physician.
-Madam Burgess had suffered a paralytic seizure of a somewhat unusual
-character. He should watch the case with great interest. There was
-evidently a small clot on the left side of the brain which affected the
-mental equilibrium, and produced something like delirium. The ultimate
-result could only be fatal, and it was doubtful whether full
-consciousness would return before death.
-
-That afternoon Anna was permitted to go to her mother-in-law’s bedside.
-Keith followed her, full of eager hope that for her there might be the
-clear and unquestionable recognition which had thus far been denied him.
-It was a strangely painful thing to Anna to see the familiar figure of a
-woman so graceful, so precise, so secure in her high-bred
-self-possession, so decided in her conscious self-direction, prostrate,
-dull, lethargic; to hear in place of the cold, clear modulations of her
-voice a meaningless, half-articulate muttering. She stood for a moment
-beside the bed, her heart sinking with the piteousness of the sight,
-herself apparently unnoticed by the stricken woman.
-
-At the foot of the bed Keith, standing, cried out as if in
-uncontrollable pain:—
-
-“Mother, do you see Anna? She wants to speak with you.”
-
-Slowly his mother turned her eyes, which had been fixed straight before
-her, until they rested full upon Anna in a curious, disconcerting stare.
-This continued in silence for some throbbing seconds, and then, with
-thick utterance and unaccented monotony of modulation, she said, very
-slowly:—
-
-“If you had married differently you might have had children of your
-own.”
-
-This laboured sentence, in its violent discordance with the filial
-tenderness and sympathy which alone filled the hearts of Keith and Anna
-at the moment, smote them both as if with a harsh and incredible buffet.
-Anna turned away from the bed white and appalled, and left the room at
-the motion of the nurse while Keith, bowing his head upon the bed-rail,
-groaned aloud. Even in the moment their mother had fallen back into
-unintelligible confusion of speech. To them both this sinister and
-unlooked-for expression revealed something of the weary ways in which
-the clouded mind was straying. Some haunting sense of remorse and
-accountability, vaguely felt and deviously followed, was torturing the
-dimness of mental twilight. Again and again during the days following,
-Anna, sitting just outside the bedroom door, heard the question
-reiterated in the harsh, toneless voice:—
-
-“Did that baby die?” And always, when answered, there came the same
-response, “I said it would, I said it would that night.”
-
-Filled with pity and compunction as she recalled the severity of her own
-utterance in that interview, the memory of which with the sick woman had
-plainly outlived all other, Anna went once more on the third night into
-the sick-room, knelt by the bed, and took the hand of the sufferer in
-both her own.
-
-“Mother,” she said, in a strong, comforting voice, “mother dear, this is
-Anna. Will you forgive me for my unkindness that night?”
-
-There was no reply.
-
-“Dear mother,” Anna went on, with gentlest kindness, “I wanted to tell
-you that the little baby has gone to its own mother. It is all right,
-and I am satisfied.”
-
-There was a faint response as of relief and acquiescence.
-
-Then, as Anna still held the limp, unresisting, unresponding hand and
-looked tenderly in the grey, changed face, Sarah Burgess spoke once
-more. Broken and falteringly came the words:—
-
-“I am ... sorry ... you have ... no child,” and, as she spoke, large,
-slow tears rolled down her face.
-
-It was the first time in all their intercourse that she had opened her
-heart to Anna in motherly pity. Perhaps she could not before, the
-defences of pride and reserve were sunk too deep. But the few words, the
-tears, the glimpse of a heart which, whatever its hardness, itself knew
-the passion of motherhood and could understand her pain, broke down for
-the younger woman the last remaining barriers which had stood between
-these two who had lived together so coldly. Anna laid her head on the
-pillow and kissed the face of the dying woman again and again, their
-tears mingling, while pity and tenderness overflowed the coldness and
-all the silent resentments of the past.
-
-Two days later Madam Burgess died, not having spoken again, although she
-had plainly recognized Keith and watched him with wistful eyes.
-
-The burial and the various incidents connected with the close of a long
-life, and one of social eminence, over, Keith and Anna turned back to
-the home, now wholly their own, and looked about them wondering what was
-in the future. Like all men and women of gentle will, they blotted out,
-at once and forever, every impression of unworthiness or selfishness
-which their dead had ever made upon them. They idealized her narrow
-character, and loved her better than they ever had, perhaps, in life;
-but underneath all this dutiful loyalty Anna found in her own heart a
-recognition of great release, and at times, in spite of her will, her
-pulses would bound and leap with the sense of new possibilities in life
-for them both.
-
-Just what these possibilities might be was by no means clear to Anna,
-nor how far Keith would sympathize with her own vague but dominant
-desires for a return in some sort to the working motives which had
-swayed their earlier lives. She was greatly encouraged by the response
-which she received to her timid approach to the subject of some slight
-changes in their outward method of life in favour of simpler and more
-democratic habits. The horses and carriage and liveried servants had
-long been a source of distress to Anna’s conscience, as marks of a
-privileged and separate class. She had always avoided employing them as
-far as was possible. She had never, since she had begun reading the
-social essays of Gregory, driven in the family carriage without longing
-to apologize to every working man and woman whose glance rested upon
-her, for a luxury which she felt to be in their eyes divisive, while all
-the time her heart was crying out for brotherhood and burden-sharing
-with the lowliest and most oppressed among them.
-
-Somewhat to her surprise she found that Keith was not without a similar
-consciousness, any expression of which, even to Anna, he had
-scrupulously avoided in his mother’s lifetime. Finding herself met here,
-and thus emboldened, Anna came to her husband one evening with a
-question which involved serious doubt and difficulty for her. It was two
-months since the death of Madam Burgess, and Anna was to start the
-following morning for Vermont for a visit of several weeks to her mother
-and Lucia. Keith was too busy with the details of settling his mother’s
-estate to accompany her, but it had been planned that he should meet her
-in Burlington on her return, late in May, and together with her make a
-visit, long-promised and long-postponed, at the Ingrahams’, whose
-friendship for them both had remained unchanged by the years.
-
-And now the postman had brought Anna a note from Mrs. Ingraham which
-took her back strangely to her girlhood, and to one March night when she
-had first received a like request from the same source. This note asked
-her to come, when she came for the promised visit, prepared to give a
-missionary address at a meeting which would take place at that time in
-Burlington.
-
-Anna handed the note to her husband, and, as he finished the perusal of
-it, she said hesitatingly:—
-
-“Keith, I don’t know what to do.”
-
-“Why, dear? Why not simply do as Mrs. Ingraham asks? You would like to,
-would you not?”
-
-“Once I would have, only too gladly,” and Anna paused a moment,
-recalling the opposition to which she had yielded so unwillingly in the
-time past. That outward and forcible opposition was now wholly removed,
-but another restraint, subtle and subjective, had gradually taken its
-place, although Anna had until now scarcely recognized the existence of
-it.
-
-“I am afraid, if I tell you,” she resumed, “you will be shocked and
-pained. Perhaps I cannot even put it into words, and not overstate what
-is in my mind; but the trouble is, Keith, I am afraid I don’t believe
-everything just as I used to.”
-
-Keith Burgess looked at her with his gentle smile.
-
-“Go on,” he said quietly.
-
-“Dear, it is very strange,” and Anna spoke with sudden impetuousness;
-“but I suppose I have not really a right to speak for missions, for I
-cannot, any more, believe that God will condemn to everlasting torment
-all the heathen who do not believe in a means of salvation of which they
-have never heard.”
-
-“Neither can I.”
-
-“Keith!” Anna felt her breath almost taken away by this sudden admission
-of what, in the seventies, was rank heresy in strictly orthodox circles.
-“Why have you never let me suspect such a change in your views? Has this
-had something to do with your giving up the secretaryship? Was it not
-then quite all your health? Oh, Keith, if you knew how I have been
-troubled!”
-
-The tumult of Anna’s surprise broke out in this swift volley of
-questions, for which she could not wait for answers.
-
-“How have you been troubled? Tell me that first, Anna.”
-
-Anna’s colour came and went. It was not easy to speak, but honesty and
-frankness were the law of speech with her. Very seriously she said:—
-
-“It seemed so strange to me that you grew, after the first few years,
-into what often appeared a kind of official and perfunctory way of
-working—letting the details cover the great purposes. It seemed little,
-and different from what I had expected. Tables and figures and endless
-reports—it was all business, and almost like other business.”
-
-Keith Burgess nodded gravely. “Go on,” he said, as before.
-
-“And then, you see, all at once you dropped it. Of course you had that
-illness, and I could see how tiresome and troubling the work had come to
-be; but I used to think—forgive me, Keith; I hated myself that I
-did—that you dropped the whole missionary endeavour and purpose and
-point of view as easily as you might have dropped a coat that you had
-worn out—”
-
-“In short, that it was all officialism.”
-
-“Yes, even that—that it had come to be. And you know how different it
-was at first, when it was your only life.”
-
-“Yes, Anna,” and the delicate, sensitive face of the man showed
-something of the profound pain which he could not speak; “it has been a
-hard experience. I have kept it to myself because I did not think it was
-fair to lay upon you the same burden of doubt and conflict. I see how
-naturally you came to look upon the change in me as you have described.
-Perhaps your view is in a measure just, too, but I think not
-altogether.”
-
-“Tell me, Keith.” Anna was waiting for him to go on with sympathetic
-eagerness.
-
-“It was simply that, some way, I hardly know how,—perhaps it was in part
-worldliness and selfishness, but I think not altogether,—my views
-gradually have changed. Perhaps it was in the air, perhaps I took it in
-unconsciously from what I read, and from my deeper thought of God and
-his grace. What I learned of the various forms of heathen religions
-influenced me somewhat, and also observation of the workings of our own
-system in our own country even under most favouring conditions. I cannot
-tell, only I came definitely at last to the point where I could no
-longer go before the churches and plead with them to send their money to
-foreign missions to save the heathen from immediate eternal perdition
-and torment, because they did not believe in the plan of salvation by a
-Saviour of whom, as you say, they had never heard.”
-
-“What did you do?”
-
-“You see,” Keith went on, not noticing her question, “according to our
-confession there is no salvation even in any ordinary knowledge of
-Christ, but only for the elect few who experience personal regeneration
-by conscious acceptance according to the line laid by such men as Calvin
-and Edwards. Now we know that judged by this test a very large
-percentage of any so-called Christian community is doomed to eternal
-punishment, and when you come to the heathen, it grows unthinkable—do
-you see?”
-
-“Yes, I _feel_.”
-
-“I went very soon to Dr. Durham, and poured out a full confession of my
-‘unsoundness.’”
-
-“What did he say?”
-
-“Anna, that was what settled me. I almost think that if he had said,
-‘Stop where you are, and wait until you can see it differently,’ I might
-have come back to my early convictions in some sort, at least
-sufficiently to give me a motive for working on. What he did say, in his
-large, hearty way, was: ‘Oh, my dear fellow, there is nothing more
-common than such doubts and questions! They naturally arise from time to
-time with us all. Probably not half the men who are at work in this
-cause actually believe literally in the common conception that the
-heathen who do not know of Christ are all condemned. Oh, no, I ceased to
-hold any such opinion long ago.’ ‘Then why don’t you say so openly?’ I
-asked; to which he replied impressively: ‘Don’t you see, Burgess, that
-if we told our change of views to the churches at large we should _cut
-the very nerve_ of the missionary motive? We may hold these slightly
-modified views on eschatology ourselves without detriment, perhaps, or
-danger, although of course they must be held well in hand; but if we
-should speak them out to the rank and file, the result would be an
-instant falling off in the receipts of our treasury, and the Lord knows
-they are small enough and inadequate enough as it is. The average man
-would reason, if the heathen can be saved after all in some other way,
-it is not necessary for me to deny myself in order to send them the
-gospel. So keep still, my dear Burgess, just keep your views to yourself
-as some of the rest of us do. Go right along as you have been doing, and
-there will be no harm done.’”
-
-“Keith, dear Dr. Durham did not know it, but that is Jesuitism!”
-exclaimed Anna, with flashing eyes.
-
-“I thought it was,” he replied quietly, “and the result was I gave up my
-office, partly on account of my health, partly because I could not
-continue what would actually have been, for me, getting money under
-false pretences.”
-
-“Still, Keith, it is not only to save the heathen from everlasting
-punishment that we want to send the gospel, but to give them the present
-salvation from sin.”
-
-“Certainly. There are other motives left. I think they may be sufficient
-to energize our work far beyond what the Gospel of Fear could do, but
-they are not at present the popular motives to which I am expected to
-appeal. The future of the cause is not clear to me. If Durham is right,
-and the nerve of missions will be cut when people cease to believe that
-the heathen are necessarily damned because they have not accepted
-Christ, why then I have little hope, because it seems to me impossible
-for thinking people to hold this view much longer. But I must admit that
-it is hard enough to get them to give money when they believe implicitly
-in the immediate and hopeless doom of every heathen soul departing to
-judgment.”
-
-“Keith, they _don’t_ believe it! Nobody _believes_ it! It is monstrous.
-If we really believed such things as practically taking place, we should
-all lose our reason. Our only escape from insanity, I believe, is that,
-while with our mouths and with our opinions we have declared such
-things, in our hearts and in our deeper conviction we have denied them,
-knowing that they would be treason to God. What misleads us all, Keith,
-I am beginning to believe, is that we have felt bound to accept a system
-which theologians have worked out, and which has involved a paring down
-of both God and man to make them fit into the narrow grooves they have
-assigned them in the hard logic of their formulas.”
-
-“Well, let us make this question concrete; illustrate it from life,”
-said Keith, leaning back languidly in his arm-chair. “How is it with
-yourself? You have been taught, and have believed until very recently,
-this doctrine of universal condemnation of all heathen ‘out of Christ,’
-and now, it seems, you have begun to question it. What is the effect on
-the missionary motive in your case? Would you feel as eager as ever to
-go as a missionary? Does the subject appeal to your conscience as
-powerfully as before?”
-
-Anna looked at Keith for a moment in thoughtful silence, and then shook
-her head.
-
-“No.”
-
-“You see Dr. Durham was right,” said Keith, sadly. “If this is true of
-you, who have all your life been pledged to this work,—and I admit that
-it is true of myself,—what can be expected of the careless crowd,
-indifferent at best?”
-
-Anna had been walking restlessly up and down the library. Now she came
-back to the heavy black oak table at which her husband was sitting, sat
-down, and, resting her elbows on the table, propped her chin in both
-hands, and so sat silently for many moments. Then she began to speak,
-but very slowly, rather as if thinking aloud:—
-
-“I have been accustomed, and so have you, all our lives, to the
-stimulus, the spur, of a piercingly powerful motive, the most powerful
-possible, I should think.—To save somebody from immediate death when the
-means of rescue is in your hands is a motive to which every human being
-must respond, instinctively. Suppose this motive is shown to be, in some
-degree at least, based upon a misunderstanding, and we find that we are
-asked to alleviate suffering instead of to save life, why would it not
-be perfectly natural, almost inevitable, that at first there should be a
-reaction? Accustomed to the stronger stimulus, just at first our motives
-and purposes would languish, I think. Mine _do_. I can’t help owning it,
-Keith. But I can imagine that deeper knowledge of God, higher
-conceptions of human brotherhood, of what they call the solidarity of
-the race—things like that—which I only dimly realize yet, might
-reënforce our poor wills, and knit again the nerve if it has been cut.
-Don’t you think so?”
-
-Keith watched his wife as she sat thus speaking, and a great tenderness
-was in his eyes.
-
-“You are a very wonderful woman, Anna,” he said; “your thought always
-goes beyond mine.”
-
-She did not seem to hear what he said, for she went on in the same
-musing tone:—
-
-“In a way, it seems to me, sometimes, as if every hope, every purpose,
-every controlling motive with which I started out in life, had slipped
-away from me, this of missionary work with the rest. All that I thought
-I could do or become has been rendered impossible in one way or another,
-and whatever capacity or force there is in me is unapplied. I can’t even
-be a comfortable society woman; other people won’t let me, even if I can
-let myself, and you know how I find it impossible to fit into
-conventional charities. Everywhere I seem to be superfluous, out of
-harmony with my environment. I thought once, I was vain enough to think,
-that God wanted me for some special service,—that he would give me a
-work for him and for his children; but I am thirty years old now, Keith,
-and what have I done?”
-
-“You have been a dear wife and a faithful child,—a true Christian
-woman,—is that not enough?”
-
-Anna smiled wistfully.
-
-“It is not good for any one to simply _be_, and bring nothing to pass.
-But to-night I feel that whatever new wine life is to bring me will have
-to be put into new bottles. The old motives and forces have spent
-themselves, and the old hopes; and the forms which held them, have gone
-with them, for me.”
-
-
-
-
- BOOK III
- NIGHT
-
- O Holiest Truth! how have I lied to thee!
- I vow’d this day thy sacrifice to be;
- But I am dim ere night.
- Surely I made my prayer, and I did deem
- That I could keep in me thy morning beam,
- Immaculate and bright.
- But my foot slipp’d; and, as I lay, he came,
- My gloomy foe, and robb’d me of heaven’s flame.
- Help thou my darkness, Lord, till I am light.
- —JOHN HENRY NEWMAN.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIV
-
- Christianity has hitherto only partially, feebly, and waveringly
- taught its great doctrine. Christendom has not believed its own
- gospel. Forsaking the vital religion of Jesus, and of all the heroes
- and saints as impracticable, men have put up with a sort of
- conventional Christianity, from which the great essential ideas of
- the Golden Rule and the real presence of God were dropped out.
-
- —C. F. DOLE.
-
-
-“I have spoken for three nights in this place, and for three nights you
-have heard me patiently. I have not regarded the favour of any man, but
-neither have I wished to bruise or wound. And yet, as I stand here now
-for the last time, I must declare the whole truth as it has been given
-to me. I have charged upon our present social and industrial conditions
-grave responsibility. To-night I declare plainly that you who calmly
-accept and profit by them, whether you know it or whether you know it
-not, are rejecting Jesus of Nazareth and his kingdom.”
-
-The speaker was John Gregory, the place a large hall in the city of
-Burlington, crowded to its utmost with eager listeners, for the theories
-which he proclaimed were new and startling in that day.
-
-As in his earlier revival preaching, so now, Gregory’s utterance was
-attended with peculiar power. There was this difference, however,
-between his relation to his audience now and in that other time: then a
-familiar appeal was reënforced, even though involuntarily and
-unconsciously, by the full weight of his personal and psychic influence;
-now he relied wholly, it appeared, upon the dynamic of his message. His
-manner was more impassioned than in that earlier time, but less
-exciting.
-
-Keith and Anna Burgess, from their places in the audience with Mrs.
-Ingraham, whose guests they were, watched and listened with almost
-breathless intensity of interest. They had not heard it on this wise
-before.
-
-“Do you remember,” continued Gregory, with searching emphasis, “that on
-a certain day the Master said, ‘Verily I say unto you, That a rich man
-shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven’? Do you remember how the
-twelve men who followed him were said to have been ‘exceedingly amazed’?
-From the fourth century, when the Church and the world formed their
-unhallowed union, down to the present day, men have continued to be
-‘exceedingly amazed’ at a saying so inconvenient and so revolutionary,
-and have set themselves to blunt its sharp edge or to explain it away
-altogether.
-
-“To-night I am here to say to you plainly, This is a faithful saying,
-worthy of all acceptation, and woe unto him who seeks to take it away
-from the words of Christ. Put with it, if you will, other like words
-from the lips of Christ and his Apostles, rather than seek to abate the
-force of these. But why are the rich condemned? Surely they are the most
-law-abiding, most influential class in every community! Because the
-riches of the rich man are founded upon a lie! This is the lie: _that a
-man has the right to build up his own prosperity and enjoyment upon the
-suffering and privation of his fellow-men_.
-
-“Ask yourselves, men who listen to me now, do I tell the truth?
-
-“You made your money in trade; very well—is trade just? Could you, under
-present conditions, have made money, had you dealt justly and loved
-mercy? had you lived the truth, shown the truth? Could your trade have
-prospered if you had followed the simplest rule of Christ, ‘Do unto
-others as ye would have them do unto you?’
-
-“Is not the very basis of your trade and of your gains that you force
-other men into failure, dejection, and poverty, and rise upon the wreck
-of them? Well has it been said, ‘A rich man’s happiness is built up of a
-thousand poor men’s sorrows.’
-
-“Many men make their money in manufacture, perhaps not largely so in
-this city; but the conditions are familiar to us all. Very well, is
-manufacture true to God, true to men?
-
-“The profits, we will say of a given manufacture, were not great enough
-last year; the owners had a large income, but not as large as they
-wanted; some of the rich stockholders grumbled. What did they do? They
-reduced the beggarly wages of the toilers in their iron prisons, sent
-them home to their wives and children with less than sufficed to give
-them daily bread and shelter, and they knew it. They sent pure girls to
-the life of shame, and honest men to the black refuge of despair. Thus
-they declared their dividend, and their rich neighbours praised their
-business genius and pocketed their share of the gains complacently; and
-the rich grew richer, and the poor, poorer. This done, they come before
-God with pious words; they pass boxes in the churches to gather the
-widows’ and the orphans’ mites whose burdens they do not lift, no, not
-with one finger; they build a hospital now and then; they found a
-university, and their names are exalted; they sit in their homes with
-all their treasures of art, of intellect, and of refinement about them,
-and thank the Lord that they are not as other men are, or even as that
-poor fellow they hear reeling, profane and drunken, down the street,
-because _no_ home is his, no hope, no God.
-
-“Hear the words which God hath sworn by his holy prophets:
-
-“‘Forasmuch, therefore, _as your treading is upon the poor_, and ye take
-from him burdens of wheat; ye have built houses of hewn stone, but ye
-shall not dwell in them; ye have planted pleasant vineyards, but ye
-shall not drink wine of them.
-
-“‘For I know your manifold transgressions and your mighty sins; they
-afflict the just, they take a bribe, and they turn aside the poor in the
-gate from their right.
-
-“‘Woe to the City of Blood!
-
-“‘Woe unto them that join house to house, that lay field to field, till
-there be no place, that they may be placed alone in the midst of the
-earth!
-
-“‘Woe to them that are at ease in Zion!... that lie upon beds of ivory
-and stretch themselves upon their couches, and eat the lambs out of the
-flock, and the calves out of the midst of the stall, that chant to the
-sound of the viol and invent to themselves instruments of music, ...
-that drink wine in bowls and anoint themselves with the chief ointments;
-but they are not grieved for the affliction of Joseph!
-
-“‘Woe to him that buildeth a town with blood, and establisheth a city by
-iniquity!
-
-“‘Neither their silver nor their gold shall be able to deliver them in
-the day of the Lord’s wrath.
-
-“‘For, behold, the Lord said unto me, What seest thou? And I said, A
-plumb-line. Then said the Lord, Behold, I will set a plumb-line in the
-midst of my people Israel: I will not again pass by them any more.
-
-“‘For judgment will I lay to the line and righteousness to the
-plumb-line: and the hail shall sweep away the refuge of lies, and the
-waters shall overflow the hiding-place.
-
-“‘For ye have said, We have made a covenant with death, and with hell
-are we at agreement; we have made lies our refuge, and under falsehood
-have we hid ourselves.
-
-“‘But your covenant with death shall be disannulled and your agreement
-with hell shall not stand.’”
-
-As the speaker went on marshalling and massing with stern conviction the
-tremendous indictments and declarations of the Hebrew prophets, which
-the people before him had never heard thus definitely applied to their
-own social conditions, the dramatic effect became irresistible. A mighty
-blast of wind seemed to bow their heads, and many trembled and grew
-pale.
-
-Suddenly John Gregory, whose whole face and figure had been rigid and
-set with the awe of what he spoke, stepped out to the very edge of the
-platform, and, with a gesture of gentleness and reconcilement, and a
-smile which relaxed the tense mood of his hearers, cried:—
-
-“But this is not all! Never did the prophets leave the people without a
-ray of hope—never did they withhold
-
- “‘Belief in plan of God enclosed in time and space,
- Health, peace, salvation.’
-
- “‘Is it a dream?
- Nay, but the lack of it a dream,
- And failing it life’s love and wealth a dream,
- And all the world a dream.’”
-
-These words were spoken with no less conviction than those which had
-gone before, but the change of voice, of expression, of attitude and
-gesture, were those which only a master of oratory could have so swiftly
-effected. The audience, now wholly under his control, felt a new thrill
-of comfort, of hope, even of exultation.
-
-“The Spirit of God is brooding in the bosom of all this chaos, and a new
-day dawns. Fear not, but look within. Your own heart confesses the bond
-of brotherhood which unites you to all the race. Let your heart speak.
-
-“Men everywhere see the new light, and confess and deny not that it is
-the true light, the light which lighteth every man coming into the
-world, until sin and selfishness quench it.
-
-“The day is come when men shall no longer greedily seek their own
-salvation; the straitened individualism of the fathers has had its day;
-even the passion for personal perfection is refined selfishness from the
-new point of view. Many Christian souls have been misled in the past by
-the mistaken idea of self-sacrifice and renunciation, not for their
-results to humanity, but for the perfecting of self, a fruitless,
-joyless, Christless thing. The continual seeking for the safety here and
-hereafter of the individual—the man’s own advantage, what if
-spiritual?—held up always as his chief and noblest aim, have resulted in
-Christianity becoming a symbol for sublimated selfishness.
-
-“A greater, nobler motive is ours to-day—no new gospel, but a right
-reading of the old, a deeper insight into his purpose who said, ‘If any
-man serve me, let him follow me.’
-
-“Here may we, at last, and perhaps for the first time in long years of
-blind and baffled longing for the fellowship of Christ our Sacrifice,
-learn the awful joy of dying in our own lives that so we may not live
-alone.
-
-“Your soul cannot rise toward God, my brother, while you are treading
-down other souls beneath your feet. Cease the hopeless effort. Take the
-world’s burden on your heart, and you shall know Christ. Refuse the joys
-which can only be for the few and the rich. Take nothing but what you
-can share. Learn poverty and simplicity and hardihood; unlearn luxury,
-exclusiveness, epicureanism. Be pioneers in the new state, apostles of
-the new-old gospel—the Gospel of Brotherhood, of Fellowship, of
-Sacrifice.”
-
-As Anna Mallison, in her early girlhood, had responded with swift,
-unquestioning response to the simple appeal of the missionary, and had
-offered herself unreservedly to the work of seeking lost souls in the
-heathen world, so now, in the maturity of her womanhood, her inmost soul
-confessed that her hour had come. The message of John Gregory, heard
-vaguely and partially before, had now reached her fully, and she found
-its claim upon her irresistible.
-
-“Where this leads, I follow,” a voice said in her heart; “I follow
-though I die! It is for this I have waited.”
-
-Turning, she looked into her husband’s face, and their eyes met. Keith
-Burgess read what he intuitively expected in the deep awe of Anna’s
-eyes; while she read in his a sympathy and response, real, and yet
-strangely sad.
-
-Gregory had been about to leave the platform, his address ended; but the
-audience sat unmoving, as if they would hear more. A man rose up then,
-in the middle of the hall, and spoke.
-
-“Mr. Gregory,” he said, “some of the people are saying that, having told
-us so much, you ought to tell us more. If it is true that you have some
-scheme or system by which people like us could live such a life as you
-describe, we want to hear about it.”
-
-Having so said, he sat down.
-
-John Gregory turned about and came slowly back to his former place. Here
-he stood, confronting the people with a gravely musing smile. Again, as
-she saw him, there swept over Anna’s memory the sense that this was the
-presence of her girlish dream, and the old indefinable sense of joy in
-the power of this man was shed into her heart.
-
-“You want to hear me say something about Fraternia, I suppose,” said
-Gregory, slowly.
-
-“I am not here for that purpose. I covet no man’s silver or gold for my
-project, let that be distinctly understood first of all. Fraternia has
-not had to beg for support, thus far. Men and women who are like-minded
-with ourselves are welcome to join themselves to us. No others need
-apply,” and he smiled a peculiar, humorous smile of singular charm.
-
-“Fraternia,” he continued, “is an experiment. It is only a year old. Is
-is what may be called a coöperative colony, I should think; that is, a
-little community of people who believe that no one ought to be idle and
-no one ought to overwork, and accordingly all work a reasonable number
-of hours a day. We also believe that an aristocratic, privileged class
-is not a good thing, not even a necessary evil, but a mere gross product
-of human selfishness. We have none, accordingly, in Fraternia, nor
-anything corresponding to it. We are all on a precisely equal footing.
-That bitterest and tightest of all class distinctions, the aristocracy
-of money, is unknown among us. Those who have joined us have thus far
-put their property into the common treasury, and all fare alike. We
-propose to work out this social problem on actual and practical lines.
-We all work and all share alike in the results of our work.
-
-“You will ask what we do. Fraternia lies in a valley among the foothills
-of southwestern North Carolina. We raise all kinds of fruit, some grain,
-and some cotton. We have water-power, a mountain stream as beautiful as
-it is useful, and so we have built a cotton mill. We have made it as
-pretty as we could, this mill,—better than any man’s house, since the
-house is for the individual, and the mill for the use of all. By the
-same token our church and our library are to be finer than our houses
-when we advance so far as to build them. We have nothing costly or
-luxurious in Fraternia, but our mill is really very attractive. We all
-like to work in it. You know it is natural to like to work under human
-and decent conditions. I believe no man ever liked absolute idleness. It
-is overwork and work under hideous and unwholesome conditions against
-which men revolt.
-
-“In our personal and home life, simplicity and hardihood are the
-key-notes. No servants are employed, for all serve. Our luxuries are the
-mountain laurel and pine, the exquisite sky and air, the voices of the
-forest, the crystal clearness of the brook. In these we all share. So do
-we in the books and the few good pictures which we are so happy as to
-own; in the best music we can muster and in the service of divine
-worship. Life is natural, homely, simple, joyous. Its motive: By love,
-serve one another. From no one is the privilege of service withheld.
-Thank God, we have no forlorn leisure class.
-
-“Our mission, however, is not to ourselves alone, but to the world
-outside. We are holding up, by our daily living, a constant
-object-lesson. We are preaching coöperation and social brotherhood
-louder than any voice can ever preach it, and the small child and the
-simple girl can preach as well as the cultured woman and the strong man.
-
-“Who are we? We are mostly from England, many from the slums of London,
-others from its higher circles, some Germans and Scandinavians, and thus
-far not more than a dozen American families. Some of us had nothing to
-begin with, and some had large property; some were so unfortunate as to
-belong to the number of those who oppress the poor in mills and mines,
-while others were simple peasants. We have no difficulty in living
-happily together on the broad basis of a common human nature, a common
-purpose, and a common hope.
-
-“But there is another side to this adventure, friends,” and Gregory
-spoke with deeper seriousness. “Fraternia is nothing unless it is
-builded on the immutable laws of God and of righteousness. Never, never
-can we succeed if sin grows little to us and self large. Our message
-will be taken from us, our arm will be paralyzed, if the day shall ever
-come when the lust of gold, the lust of power, the lust of pride, shall
-taint the free air of our high valley.
-
-“So then, if any among you would join our ranks, see that you shrive
-your souls and come to us seeking only the Kingdom of God and his
-righteousness.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXV
-
- Sin and hedgehogs are born without spikes, but how they wound and
- prick after their birth we all know. The most unhappy being is he
- who feels remorse before the deed, and brings forth a sin already
- furnished with teeth in its birth, the bite of which is soon
- prolonged into an incurable wound of conscience.
-
- —RICHTER.
-
-
-On the steps of the rostrum, as he descended them, John Gregory was met
-by a man of singular aspect, a man who has been encountered by us
-before, in the house of Senator Ingraham,—his son, Oliver.
-
-As the two clergymen whom he had then addressed had been disturbed, and
-even dismayed, by this strange face and figure, the smooth, egglike face
-with its enormous forehead, narrow eyes, and wide, thin-lipped mouth, so
-now Gregory drew back instinctively, finding the singular apparition
-thus suddenly before him.
-
-Mr. Oliver Ingraham did not appear to notice the movement, but, smiling
-his peculiarly complacent smile, held out one long, sinuous hand, and as
-Gregory took it, not over eagerly, he remarked in his high, feminine
-voice:—
-
-“I liked your line very much, Mr. Gregory. Nothing would suit me better
-than to see these rich men brought to book. They’ll get their
-come-uppance in the next world, anyway; but I sometimes get tired of
-waiting. It would be a satisfaction to see Dives, Esquire, taking his
-torments here once in a while, don’t you think so?” and the malevolent
-leer with which the question was accompanied gave Gregory a chill of
-disgust.
-
-Oliver held in his left hand a handsomely bound note-book and silver
-pencil-case which it was his custom to carry everywhere. Gregory, now
-about to pass on, and greet the crowds who were waiting to speak with
-him just below, was again stopped.
-
-“Just a moment, Mr. Gregory,” said the other, slipping off the elastic,
-and opening the note-book with the dexterity of constant habit; “I want
-you to help me a little in gathering some very valuable statistics. It’s
-rather in your line, I take it. I have been engaged in this work for
-several years, and find it extremely interesting.”
-
-Gregory noted the long, white, flexible fingers of the man, and the
-look, half of deficient intellect and half of cunning, in his face.
-
-“Please make haste, Mr. Ingraham,” he said shortly, “there are others
-waiting.”
-
-“I am making a computation,” Oliver continued imperturbably, “in fact, a
-carefully tabulated record, according to nations, of the probable number
-of souls from each nation now in Sheol—it is considered polite now to
-call it Sheol, I believe. We used to say hell when we were boys, didn’t
-we, Mr. Gregory?” and Oliver laughed his low, cruel laugh.
-
-“Excuse me,” exclaimed Gregory, impatiently; “I could not give you any
-information on that subject. I have never been there. Allow me to pass
-on, if you please.”
-
-Oliver closed his book as if not unaccustomed to rebuffs; but, as
-Gregory’s forward movement obliged him to retreat down the steps, he
-remarked slyly:—
-
-“I had a message to you from the senator, if you only weren’t in such a
-hurry. He is one of the fellows that will have to go to now, weep and
-howl. He has the shekels, I can tell you! What he wants of you is more
-than I can figure out. I should suppose Ahab would as soon have sent for
-Elijah.”
-
-“Did your father send for me?” asked Gregory, surprised. They were now
-at the foot of the steps, and the crowd was gathering about them.
-
-“Yes; he would like to see you in his office on this same block, next
-building, as soon as you can get away from here. You work him right, and
-you can get something out of him for your Utopia.” The last words were
-called back aloud with a series of confidential nods, as Oliver turned
-and plunged into the crowd, who seemed to make a way for him with
-especial facility. Gregory saw him go with a keen sense of heat and
-discomfort.
-
-Half an hour later, Gregory found himself in the office of Senator
-Ingraham, seated in a substantial office-chair by the well-appointed
-desk, while Mr. Ingraham, himself in evident and most unusual mental
-disturbance, walked up and down the room. Suddenly he wheeled, and
-confronted Gregory, as if with sudden, though difficult, resolution.
-
-“Mr. Gregory,” he said, low, and with the stern, terse brevity of a man
-who finds himself forced to speak what he would rather leave unsaid,
-“for over thirty years I have carried certain facts in my personal
-history shut up in my own memory. Not one other being, to the best of my
-belief, has shared my knowledge. To-night, I cannot tell how, I do not
-know why, I feel that I must break silence, and before you—stranger as
-you are—unload my burden. A strange compulsion seems upon me to disclose
-the things I have hitherto lived to conceal. What there is in you or in
-what I have heard you say, to bring me to this point, I cannot
-understand; but I feel in you something which makes you alone, of all
-men I have ever met, the one to whom I can speaks—and must. Are you
-willing to hear me?”
-
-John Gregory noted the set, hard lines in the lawyer’s face, the knotted
-cords in his hands, and the tone, half of defiance, half of
-self-abasement, with which he threw out this abrupt question. Accustomed
-to encounters with men in their innermost spiritual struggles, Gregory
-was in no way astonished or excited by this surprising beginning of
-their interview, and simply nodded gravely in token that Ingraham should
-proceed.
-
-“I will not affront you by demanding secrecy on your part,” the latter
-began haughtily; “if it were possible for you to betray my confidence,
-it would have been impossible for me to give it to you. I understand
-men.”
-
-He paused. Gregory made no remark in confirmation of this assertion, but
-the direct, unflinching look with which he met the appeal in the eyes of
-the speaker was full guarantee of good faith. There was promise of
-profound and sympathetic attention in Gregory’s look, there was also
-judicial calmness and reserve; in fine, the characteristics of the
-priest and the judge were singularly united in him, and it was to the
-perception of this fact that he owed the present interview.
-
-“I do not know whether I am a respectable citizen or a murderer,”
-Ingraham now began, turning again to walk the floor, while an
-uncontrollable groan as of physical anguish accompanied this unexpected
-declaration. “Imagine, if you will, what thirty years have been inwardly
-with this uncertainty as food for thought, served to me by conscience,
-or some fiend, morning and night. If I could have forgotten for one
-blessed day, it has been ingeniously rendered impossible, for sin in
-bodily form is ever before me. You have seen my son.”
-
-With this sentence, harsh and curt, Ingraham paused, glanced aside at
-Gregory, who assented, and then continued to walk and speak. His voice
-and manner alike showed that he was holding himself in control by the
-effort of all his will. Strange distorting lines appeared in his face,
-and there was heavy sweat on his forehead.
-
-“I was twenty-five years old when I was married, and was alone in the
-world save for one brother,—Jim, we always called him,—two years younger
-than I. We had inherited a good name, strong physique, and some little
-property from our parents, and started in life shoulder to shoulder. In
-Burlington, where we first began business life together, we became
-intimately acquainted with a family in which there were two daughters.
-The elder, Cornelia, was very pretty and singularly attractive. Men
-always fell in love with her. I did, desperately. The younger sister was
-a commonplace, uninteresting girl, rather sentimental perhaps, not
-otherwise remarkable.
-
-“I shall make this story as short as possible. I offered myself to
-Cornelia after long wooing, and was refused. I was bitterly wounded,
-angry, defiant. While I was in that state of mind, it became apparent to
-me that I was secretly an object of peculiar interest to the younger
-sister. Like many another fool, half in spite and half in
-heart-sickness, I sought her hand, and was at once accepted, and our
-marriage followed quickly. Within the year Cornelia and Jim became
-engaged. There was a hard, silent grudge against Jim in my heart from
-the day I first suspected that it was he who had stood between Cornelia
-and me, and their engagement increased the grudge to hate.
-
-“We had, before this, put the whole of our inheritance into mining
-fields in what was then the far West, buying up a large tract of land,
-divided equally between us. The year after my marriage we moved West for
-a time, and I started out on a prospecting tour of our land; Jim to
-follow me when he had finished establishing a kind of business office in
-pioneer quarters, in a small town as near the base of our operations as
-was feasible. My wife remained in this town.
-
-“On horseback, with two engineers and a copper expert and an Indian
-guide, I rode through our possessions. Miners were already at work, and
-had pursued the lead far enough to prove pretty distinctly that, while
-Jim’s part of the tract was likely to be fairly productive, the vein
-stopped short of mine, which was thus practically worthless.
-
-“I rode back to our camp in a black mood. Jim, it seemed, was to succeed
-in everything; all that he sought was his, and for me there was nothing
-but failure and defeat. All the way back I brooded bitterly on the
-contrast between us, until I was in a still frenzy of jealousy when I
-reached the camp. The contrast between Cornelia, for whom I still had a
-wild, hopeless passion, and my wife, sickly, dull, indeed disagreeable
-to me already, was maddening, and had been sufficiently so before. But
-now, when I thought of Jim, with Cornelia for his wife and the certain
-prospect of large wealth to add to his elation, while I was without a
-penny or a prospect of any sort, the rage and fury in my mind became
-almost intoxicating.
-
-“We had encountered hostile Indians on the trail as we returned, but our
-bold, dare-devil dash through this danger made slight impression on me.
-I think death would have been welcome to me that night. God knows I wish
-I had met it then. My heart was evil enough, but at least it had not the
-guilt that came later.
-
-“I suppose, Mr. Gregory, that I am answerable for my brother’s death—not
-in the eye of the law, but before God. And yet—if you could tell me that
-I am mistaken, that I exaggerate, that other men would have done the
-same and held themselves guiltless—if that could be—” Ingraham broke off
-and fixed his eyes on Gregory’s face once more, as if in appeal for his
-life.
-
-“Please go on,” was Gregory’s response, but the words were gently
-spoken, as the words of a physician when he is diagnosing a manifestly
-mortal disease.
-
-“Very well,” said Ingraham, harshly. “Jim was at the camp, and was boy
-enough to parade a letter from Cornelia before me. We quarrelled
-fiercely, about what I cannot remember, but I could not restrain the
-storm of rage and jealousy in me. It had to break loose somewhere. I
-refused to tell Jim what I had discovered regarding the lead, and he
-declared he would go and find out for himself. I said he would be a fool
-if he did, but gave him no hint of the fact that there were hostile
-Indians on the way. He knew nothing of the conditions, nor the character
-of the people about us, having never been in the country before. It was
-early in the morning. We had ridden all night, and the men had gone to
-their tents and were sleeping off the effects of our struggle. I told
-Jim he could not get a guide. He merely whistled in a light-hearted,
-careless way he had, and started off to a neighbouring camp, in search,
-as I inferred, of some escort. I saw him no more, and made no attempt to
-govern his actions, and did not even know whether he had started. Who
-and what the guide was whom he obtained, I learned later.
-
-“I slept most of that day, after Jim disappeared, exhausted in body and
-mind, and continued to sleep far into the night, keeping my tent door
-securely closed, as I wished to see and speak to no one. It was,
-perhaps, three o’clock of the morning following when I was roused by a
-strange noise at my tent door. Starting up from my bed on the ground, I
-saw that some one had cut open the fastenings, and that the flap was
-drawn back. In the opening thus formed stood the shape of an Indian
-rider on horseback, perfectly motionless. The moonlight, which was
-unusually brilliant, fell full upon the face of this man, and I
-recognized him at once, with a horrible chill of foreboding, as a
-half-witted Indian who sometimes acted as guide, but only to those who
-knew no better than to accept his services, which were worthless and
-treacherous. He was a half-breed, an odious, repulsive being, with only
-wit enough to be malicious, and of abnormal treachery and cruelty even
-for his kind. Never can I forget that face of his in the moonlight. He
-spoke not one word, but simply sat his horse and looked at me with his
-narrow, gleaming eyes, a malignant grin making his ugliness fairly
-fiendish. If you want to get a faint idea of his look, recall the face
-of Oliver—my son;” Ingraham’s voice sunk to a whisper, and he added, “I
-can never escape it.”
-
-Gregory’s brows knit heavily, and his face reflected something of the
-tortured misery of the man before him.
-
-“It was not,” said Ingraham, “until I had staggered to my feet that I
-saw that across his saddle-bow this creature carried a dead body—Jim.
-There was an Indian arrow in his side.”
-
-“No matter, no matter for the rest; I understand,” said Gregory,
-hastily.
-
-There was silence for a moment, and then Ingraham, with a strong effort,
-rallied himself to conclude his story.
-
-“I was Jim’s heir.” These words were spoken with hard and scornful
-emphasis. “That was a feature of the case which presents complications
-to a man in forming a judgment. Perhaps you will believe me when I say
-that this issue had not entered my mind in letting the boy go to his
-death. Indeed, the whole series of events was without deliberation, but
-under the influence of blind, sullen anger.”
-
-“I believe you,” said Gregory.
-
-“All the same, I profited by his death. The mines proved immensely
-valuable, and are even to-day. They have made me rich—and incomparably
-wretched. A word or two more, and you will know the whole story. Jim was
-brought home, here, for burial, my wife and I returning with his body.
-All through that journey, and continually, for many months, I saw before
-me, waking or sleeping, that face of cruelty incarnate, the half-witted
-Indian guide, as I had seen him on that awful night. That face was my
-Nemesis. It is still.
-
-“Within the year my wife gave birth to a son, Oliver,—a strange
-perversion, made up of moral obliquity, mental distortion, and physical
-deformity, like an embodiment of sin. On his face was stamped by some
-strange trick of nature the image which had haunted me—as if the Fates,
-or the Fiends, or God himself, had feared I might forget, and know a day
-of respite.
-
-“My wife died when Oliver was a few months old,—died of cold, I believe,
-the chill of our loveless marriage. Two years later Cornelia and I were
-married. I believe she has been happy. I have been prospered, and have
-risen to a position of some influence, and we have all that could be
-desired in our home, in our three daughters. But when, to-night, I heard
-you pronounce the judgments of God on men who had built up prosperity
-upon a lie, I was like a man struck in his very heart. I felt that I
-could no longer endure my hidden load, and must confess to one human
-being my past, and make restitution, if by any means it is yet possible.
-The Romish Church is merciful, when it provides the possibility of
-confession to sinful men.
-
-“What have you to say to me? Have you healing for such a sore as mine?”
-
-With these abrupt words Ingraham threw himself into a leather-covered
-arm-chair with the action of complete exhaustion. His aspect was changed
-from that of the alert, confident man of the world and of affairs, to
-that of a broken down and shattered age.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXVI
-
- Sin is not a monster to be mused on, but an impotence to be got rid
- of.
-
- —MATTHEW ARNOLD.
-
- Use sin as it will use you; spare it not, for it will not spare you;
- it is your murderer and the murderer of the world: use it,
- therefore, as a murderer should be used. Kill it before it kills
- you; and though it kill your bodies, it shall not be able to kill
- your souls: and though it bring you to the grave, as it did your
- Head, it shall not be able to keep you there.—BAXTER.
-
-
-John Gregory met the demand thus made upon him with all the moral and
-spiritual resources of which he was master, for all were needed. The
-full strength of the man’s personality was brought into action, the
-lofty severity, the unflinching hate of sin, and yet the clear vision
-which could see beyond the torture and taint of it, and sound the depth
-of a nature which thus agonized for redemption and for righteousness.
-
-“The only sin,” he said, in the words of another, “which is unforgiven
-is the sin which is unrepented of. That early yielding to a paroxysm of
-jealousy and rage had a fearful, and yet it may even be a merciful,
-result. There are those who have given way to worse, and, no result
-following, have lived on in hardness of heart and contempt of God’s law.
-Christ’s inflexible law, far more rigorous than the old law of Moses,
-says he that hateth his brother is a murderer. Murder, then, is the
-commonest of social sins, rather than the rarest. Christ also says that
-it was for sinners that he came to die, not for the righteous. His love
-overflows all our sin, and finds no halt at the degrees of guilt which
-men emphasize in their shallow judgment. Men judge by consequences, by
-outward events; God looks upon the heart.
-
-“Looking upon the heart, as far as we may, with God, I say then, you
-have been guilty of murder, but so have other men. Many a man has
-cherished a spirit of bitter revenge and hatred against one who had
-injured him, who has not suffered what you have, not having caused or
-profited by the death of that person, directly or indirectly; but before
-God you are perhaps equally guilty.
-
-“I do not count your sin slight. I would not seek to make it small in
-your own eyes, but I believe that you are released from the guilt and
-burden borne so long, and should no longer stagger under it. Has not
-Almighty God given to his servants power and commandment to declare to
-those who are penitent the absolution and remission of their sins?
-
-“What did our Lord say to the leper who sought his cleansing? ‘I will,
-be thou clean.’ Even this he says to you. Throw off that old yoke of
-bondage. It is your right. Go free in the liberty of the sons of God,
-but go to sin no more.”
-
-These words, spoken with the authority of a priest, and with the
-solemnity of absolute conviction, brought something of light and release
-to the troubled heart of Ingraham.
-
-The hour was late, indeed, morning was at hand, when, lifting his face
-upon which a certain calmness had settled, he said to Gregory,
-earnestly:—
-
-“I believe I grasp the truth of what you say, and that there is for me a
-certain peace, a partial release, although forgetfulness never. But this
-is not enough; the cry of my whole soul is to make restitution in some
-sort, somewhere, although how and to whom I cannot see. I still have the
-stain that I profit by my sin. What can you tell me? Do you see a way
-for me?”
-
-John Gregory looked at Ingraham steadily for a moment before speaking,
-and then said very slowly:—
-
-“Do you remember what the Master said to a certain ruler, ‘Sell all that
-thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and come, follow me’? If you
-are in earnest, Mr. Ingraham, and if you feel that, as your experience
-of sin has been in no light and common form, but in a depth of agony
-which few men ever know, so your repentance should be along no mild and
-easy lines, but should reach to the foundations of your life—if, I say,
-you see things thus, and can bear so strong a prescription, I should
-repeat to you _literally_ what Christ said to the rich ruler. It is a
-hard saying; not every man can receive it.”
-
-The two men faced each other in silence for a moment, and Gregory saw
-the leap of a sudden question in the other’s eyes.
-
-“No,” he said sternly, as if in answer to a spoken inquiry, “I am not
-advising you with an eye on my own advantage. My thought was not of my
-own cause, but of the cause of humanity anywhere. Pardon me if I speak
-plainly; I could not use a farthing of your money, were it all at my
-disposal, for building up the work I am seeking to establish in
-Fraternia. Recall what you heard me say to-night of the true Kingdom of
-God. I could not use your money, Mr. Ingraham, in seeking to show forth
-that kingdom; but I could use you, should you wish to come with us, if
-you came empty-handed.”
-
-The lawyer felt the pitiless severity of Gregory’s moral standard and
-all that this dictum implied, but he did not resist it. His humiliation
-and submission were sincere, and, for the time at least, controlling;
-but doubt and conflict were plainly read in his face.
-
-“Is it a hard saying?” John Gregory asked, with a slight smile.
-
-“Yes, harder than you know. I could do what you say, were I alone to be
-considered; but to reduce my family to beggary, to cut short my career
-and stain my reputation by the cloud which would inevitably rest upon it
-in the community by such an unheard-of course of action, to take my wife
-and daughters from their social world to follow me, sent like a
-scapegoat into some wilderness—really, Mr. Gregory, what you name is
-beyond reason!”
-
-Gregory made absolutely no response. After a long silence, Ingraham said
-thoughtfully:—
-
-“This is about the way I see for myself: from this time on I shall seek
-to live a humbler and a sincerely Christian life, and shall strive in
-every way open to me to aid and further the cause of righteousness, with
-my money and with my influence. In this way I shall bring happiness and
-satisfaction to my wife, to whom I owe the highest obligation, next to
-God, instead of destroying her comfort by dragging her with me into some
-late missionary endeavour or eccentric experiment. Pardon me, Mr.
-Gregory, if I too speak plainly.
-
-“But this is not all. Although I feel no individual call in the
-direction of your coöperative colony, and am not over sanguine of its
-success, I do believe profoundly in you, personally, as I must have
-shown you. Now I want you to reconsider what you said a little while
-ago. Frankly, this discriminating between money made in one way or
-another savours to me of superstition. This money, which is mine, cannot
-be destroyed; even you would hardly advise that. Why not put it to a
-good use, the best possible from your point of view? I have never given
-away money largely, but I am able to, and I want to seal our interview
-to-night with a substantial gift.”
-
-As he spoke, Ingraham turned to his desk and touched a check-book which
-lay upon it.
-
-“Mr. Gregory, I want to write my check for fifty thousand dollars to be
-placed unconditionally in your hands. You want a little church down
-there in your settlement, and you want it beautiful, worthy of its
-purpose; you want a library—both are necessary to carry on the kind of
-work you project. Here they are,” and again he touched the little
-leather book with his forefinger; “let me do that much as a memorial of
-this night and what you have done for me.”
-
-John Gregory met the look of sincere and even anxious appeal with which
-these words were spoken with unyielding, although not unkindly,
-firmness.
-
-“This is a generous impulse on your part, Mr. Ingraham. Do not for a
-moment think I fail to appreciate it. You are right; the money must be
-used, and will be, I hope, promptly and wisely. You must pardon me a
-certain over nicety perhaps in preferring not to build my church in
-Fraternia, or even my library, with it. You will find plenty of men less
-fastidious, and no one but myself will, I suppose, have reason to
-entertain such scruples.”
-
-Gregory had risen, and was ready now to go. It was four o’clock, he
-found, by his watch, and it had been a long vigil; but, while Ingraham’s
-face was haggard and even ghastly, that of Gregory was unchanged in its
-massive firmness and its strong, fine lines.
-
-Ingraham stood at his desk plainly chagrined and ill at ease.
-
-“In your eyes, I see,” he said ruefully, “I am still in the place of the
-man who went away sorrowful because he had great possessions.”
-
-“Perhaps,” said Gregory; “it is too soon to tell.”
-
-“Every man must judge for himself, Mr. Gregory, when it comes to the
-supreme acts of his life.”
-
-“Yes,” said the other, sadly; “to the supreme acts or to the supreme
-compromises. Will you excuse me now? I believe that I must go.” Gregory
-held out his hand, which Ingraham grasped with eagerness. “You have
-honoured me by your confidence and your generosity. Count me your friend
-if you will. Good night.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXVII
-
- I tire of shams, I rush to be.—EMERSON.
-
-
-Gertrude Ingraham was still unmarried, still pretty, still charming in
-her dainty, high-bred way.
-
-Perhaps the thought crossed Keith Burgess’s mind as he joined her in her
-father’s library that evening, after their return from Gregory’s
-lecture, that she would have been, as a wife, a shade less _exigeante_
-than Anna.
-
-Anna, shrinking from the small coin of discussion of so great themes,
-had gone directly to their room,—the room which had been Keith’s on his
-first visit to Burlington. Keith remained in the library to accept the
-refreshment which Gertrude had prepared for their return, and found the
-situation altogether pleasing. It was a rest to a sensitive, nervous man
-like himself to sit down with a pretty woman who had no startling
-theories of life and conduct; one who had always moved, and who would
-always choose to move, on the comfortable lines of convention, instead
-of seeking some other path for herself, rough and lonely.
-
-Perhaps Keith lingered all the more willingly to-night because he
-perceived a rough and lonely path opening visibly before him, into which
-he must in all probability turn full soon.
-
-“What did you think of Mr. Gregory?” asked Gertrude Ingraham over her
-tea-cups.
-
-“He is a tremendous speaker,” said Keith, soberly; “I never heard a man
-who could mould an audience to his will as he does. You were not there
-to-night.”
-
-“No, but I heard him before you and Mrs. Burgess came, night before
-last. I think he has the finest physique of any orator I ever heard.
-Don’t you think that is one source of his power? There is something
-absolutely majestic about him when he is speaking. He seems to overpower
-you—you _must_ agree with him, whether you do or not.”
-
-“Then do you accept this new doctrine of his, Miss Ingraham?”
-
-“You mean that there should be no social distinctions, no aristocratic
-and privileged class, no wealth and no poverty, and all that? I do not
-know what he said to-night, you see, but that is the line on which he
-has been speaking.”
-
-“Yes, that is what it all comes to.”
-
-“Why, no, of course I don’t believe in it, when I get away from Mr.
-Gregory,” said Gertrude, laughing prettily; “because I really think he
-is going against the fundamental laws of God. There have always been
-rich people and poor people, and it was intended that there always
-should be, I think.”
-
-“It does seem absolutely impracticable to carry out any such theory in
-actual life. Certainly it would be under existing conditions. It can
-only be done by radical, by revolutionary methods. Have you heard what
-Mr. Gregory is actually doing to illustrate his theory? Have you heard
-of Fraternia?”
-
-Gertrude Ingraham lifted her chin with a roguish little movement and
-nodded with a charming smile.
-
-“Yes, I have heard of Fraternia too! Isn’t it droll? That is why I
-didn’t go to-night, you see. I was afraid Mr. Gregory would get hold of
-me with that irresistible power of his, and then I should have to go and
-work in a cotton mill!” and with this Gertrude lifted her eyebrows with
-an expression of plaintive self-pity which Keith found very taking. “I’m
-afraid I shouldn’t like it,” she added archly; “it would be so new, and
-one’s hands would get so horrid!”
-
-They laughed together, Keith naturally noting the delicacy of the small
-white hands which were manipulating the transparent china on the low
-table between them. Then Mrs. Ingraham and others coming into the room
-after them, Keith rose with graceful courtesy to serve them and to draw
-them into the conversation. But all the while Keith had a sense that he
-was turning against himself the sharpest weapons which could have been
-found, nothing being so instinctively dreaded by him as to put himself
-in an absurd situation, to awaken ridicule, even his own.
-
-Just below the surface of his thought there lay two formidable facts,
-like sunk, threatening rocks seen darkly under smooth water. He knew
-that Anna would propose to him that they should throw themselves into
-Gregory’s enterprise, and become disciples of the new school; and he
-knew that having cut off hitherto, involuntarily or otherwise, each
-deepest desire of her soul for the service of others, he should not dare
-to thwart her in this. If she wished to do this thing, he must join her
-in it.
-
-Keith had himself been deeply moved by Gregory. The old passion for
-sacrifice and self-devotion had stirred again within him. He felt the
-high courage, the generosity, the strong initiative of Gregory; he was
-thrilled at the sight of a man who could throw himself unreservedly into
-a difficult and dangerous crusade, simply for an ideal, with all to lose
-and nothing to gain. He too had once marched to that same music; his
-blood was stirred, and he felt something of the enthusiasm of his
-student years, rising warm within him. He perfectly understood the
-motions of Anna’s spirit, and shared in them, up to a certain point.
-This point was reached when he touched the limit set by his inborn and
-inherited conservatism, his constitutional preference for things as they
-were, and his quick dread of making himself absurd. And now, Gertrude
-Ingraham with her pretty mocking had suddenly put the whole thing before
-him in the light he dreaded most.
-
-Anna was not thus divided in her mind, and could not have been.
-Something of the steadfast simplicity of her ancient German ancestry
-preserved her from this characteristically American form of
-sensitiveness. She could have adopted without hesitation, any outward
-forms, however out of conformity to usage, however grotesque in the eyes
-of others, if she had felt the inward call. Gregory’s stern and lofty
-utterances had come to her with full prophetic weight, and had left
-nothing in her to rise up in doubt or gainsaying.
-
-In this mood Keith found her. She was standing, still fully dressed,
-before the chimney-piece, where he had sat one night and dreamed at once
-of her and Gertrude Ingraham. Her hands were clasped and hanging before
-her; her face was slightly pale, and her eyes strangely large and
-luminous. Standing before her, Keith took her clasped hands between his,
-and looked at her with a questioning smile.
-
-“Well, dear,” he said, “what is it?”
-
-“You know,” she answered softly. “Was it not to you what it was to me?
-Is it not the very chance we wish, to redeem our poor lost hopes of
-service?—to leave all the luxuries and privileges and advantages, and
-share the world’s sorrows? to become poor and humble as our Master was?
-to give what we have received? Oh, Keith, is it to be, or must another
-hope go by?”
-
-As Anna thus cried out, the solemn appeal of her nature, austere, and
-yet full-charged with noble passion, breaking at last through the
-barriers which had long held it back, gave her an extraordinary
-spiritual grandeur. There was something of awe in the look with which
-her husband regarded her. Weapons of fear and doubt and cavil fell
-before that celestial sternness in her eyes,—a look we see sometimes in
-the innocent eyes of young children.
-
-“It is to be, Anna. You shall have your way this time, my wife.”
-
-The words were spoken reverently, with grave gentleness, and Keith’s own
-sweet courtesy. Was it Anna’s fault that she failed, in the exaltation
-of her mood, to catch the sadness in them?
-
-Keith was hardly conscious of it himself. He was thinking, on an
-unspoken parallel, that he would rather be privileged to adore Anna
-Mallison in a moment like this, even though she led him in a rough and
-lonely path, than to dally with another woman in smoothness and ease.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXVIII
-
- I took the power in my hand
- And went against the world;
- ’Twas not so much as David had,
- But I was twice as bold.
-
- I aimed my pebble, but myself
- Was all the one that fell.
- Was it Goliath was too large,
- Or only I too small?
- —EMILY DICKINSON.
-
- We all have need of that prayer of the Breton mariner, “Save us, O
- God! Thine ocean is so large and our little boats are so
- small.”—FARRAR.
-
-
-“Trunks checked for Utopia! Direct passenger route without change of
-cars! Ye gods, it doth amaze me!”
-
-Thus Professor Ward, with a sardonic and yet discomfited smile, standing
-in the studio of his friend Pierce Everett, in Fulham. The room was in
-the disorder of a radical breaking up; packing boxes standing about and
-litter strewn everywhere.
-
-Everett in his shirt sleeves was piling on a table a mass of draperies
-which he had taken from the wall. He was covered with dust, but his face
-was full of joyous excitement.
-
-“Yes, my good friend—straight for Utopia now!
-
- “‘Get on board, chil’en,
- Get on board, chil’en,
- For there’s room for many a more.’”
-
-Everett trolled out the old negro chorus with hilarious enjoyment.
-
-“_Quos Deus vult perdere_—” began Ward, grimly.
-
-“Oh, we’re all mad, you know. We are simply not so mad as the rest of
-you,” interrupted Everett, gayly. “We have intervals of sanity, and are
-taking advantage of one of them to get out of the mad-house, leaving you
-other fellows to keep up your unprofitable strife with phantoms by
-yourselves, while we actually—yes, we even dare to believe it—_live_.
-Think of that, Ward, if you have the imagination!” Ward shook his head.
-“No, you haven’t; that is so. If you had, you could not have listened to
-Gregory unmoved.”
-
-“Confound Gregory,” muttered Ward. “What did you ever get the man here
-for, turning our world upside down!”
-
-“That has been the occupation of seers and prophets from the beginning,
-I believe,” retorted Everett, carelessly.
-
-“Seers and prophets!” cried Ward, angrily, “that is what I can stand
-least of all. This posing as a kind of nineteenth century John the
-Baptist strikes me as exquisitely ridiculous.”
-
-Everett’s eyes flashed dangerously, but he made no rejoinder.
-
-“I saw your John the Baptist this morning in the Central Station buying
-his railway ticket and morning paper like any other average man. The
-locusts and wild honey were not in evidence.”
-
-“No, he doesn’t take nourishment habitually in railway stations,” put in
-Everett, coolly.
-
-“I didn’t see any leathern girdle about his loins, either, although of
-course he may wear it next the skin for penitential purposes. His
-clothing appeared to be a species of camel’s hair—”
-
-“Falsely so called,” put in Everett; “it is really English tweed. Very
-good quality.”
-
-“Yes, I’ll venture to say that is true. Your prophet of the wilderness
-strikes me as knowing a good thing when he sees it. Plague take the
-fellow! He has just that sort of brute force and sheer overbearing
-personal dominance, which you idealists and credulous take for spiritual
-authority.”
-
-“Come now, Ward, we may as well keep our tempers and treat this matter
-decently. Nothing is gained by calling names. You are naturally
-prejudiced against a man who attacks the existing social order, and
-suggests that even the rulers of the synagogue and the great teachers of
-the schools have something yet to learn. Gregory is radical,
-revolutionary perhaps, but not a whit more so than the New Testament
-makes him. He is an absolutely conscientious man; he has given up every
-personal ambition, wealth, position, all that most men cling to—”
-
-“In order to become a Dictator, in a field where there is very little
-competition.”
-
-Everett suppressed the irritation which this interposition aroused, and
-continued in a lighter tone,—
-
-“You are enough of a dictator yourself to see this point, which had
-escaped the rest of us. I can see that it is a little bitter to you to
-have Mrs. Burgess seeking another spiritual and intellectual
-adviser,—going after other gods, as it were.”
-
-“Yes,” said Ward, gravely; “it makes me sick at heart to see a woman
-like Mrs. Burgess, with all that glorious power of self-devotion of
-hers, throwing herself blindly into this wild, Quixotic experiment—sure
-to end in disappointment and defeat. It is mournful, most mournful,” and
-Ward shook his head in melancholy fashion. “And when it comes to Keith,”
-he resumed, “alas! our brother! Poor Keith, with his lifelong habits of
-luxurious ease, his conventional views of duty, his yardstick
-imagination, and his wretched health—to think of such a man being torn
-from all the amenities of a refined Christian home, and carted across
-lots, Government bonds and all, to be set down in some malarial swamp to
-dig ditches with a set of ploughmen, to prove, forsooth! that all men
-are created free and equal,” and Ward groaned and bent his head as if
-overcome by the picture he had called up.
-
-Lifting his head suddenly, he added in a tone of pensive rumination.
-
-“He is one of those men Thoreau tells of, who would not go
-a-huckleberrying without a medicine chest; and he would perish, I am
-convinced, if deprived of improved sanitary plumbing.”
-
-“All very clever,” said Everett, “but I will take the liberty of
-mentioning the fact that the Burgess’s physician hails the North
-Carolina project as the very best thing which could happen for Keith’s
-health.”
-
-Hardly had he finished the sentence when a light knock was heard on the
-half-open door of the studio, and Anna Burgess, at Everett’s word,
-stepped into the room.
-
-She wore a thin black gown, for the day was warm, and a broad-brimmed
-hat of some transparent black substance threw the fine shape of her head
-and the pure tints of her face into striking relief. A handful of white
-jonquils was fastened into the front of her gown, and the freshness of
-the June day seemed to enter the dusty, despoiled studio with her.
-
-Both men stood at gaze before her with deference and admiration in every
-line and look. With a delicate flush rising in her cheeks, Anna gave her
-hand to each, and spoke a word of greeting in which her natural shyness
-and her acquired social grace were mingled to a manner of peculiar
-charm.
-
-“I ran up to hand you these papers for Mr. Gregory,” she said to
-Everett, a vibration of suppressed joy in her full, low voice which he
-had never heard before. “You know he said he would like it if you would
-bring them,” and she placed a long envelope in his hand. “No, I cannot
-stop a moment, Keith is waiting for me in the carriage. I did not give
-the papers to the maid because I wanted to say to you, Mr. Everett, that
-Keith does not see it any differently,—about the estate, you know. He
-pledges the income, freely, altogether, but he feels that the estate
-itself should be kept intact.”
-
-“Thank Heaven, he has a spark of reason left!” exclaimed Ward under his
-breath, adding quickly,—
-
-“Pardon me, Mrs. Burgess, but you know I am not a Gregorian psalm
-myself, yet.”
-
-Anna turned to him with her rare smile, less brilliant than clear and
-luminous.
-
-“But I was so glad you came to the house, Professor Ward, and heard Mr.
-Gregory,” she said with gracious courtesy; “we cannot expect every one
-to follow out these new theories practically as we hope to do, but at
-least we want every one we care about to know really what they are.”
-
-“Do you think that many of those present at your house that afternoon
-were inclined to accept Mr. Gregory’s gospel, if I may so call it?”
-asked Ward, respectfully.
-
-“Of course not,” interjected Everett, “there was no one there but cranks
-and critics.”
-
-Anna’s face clouded a little. “No,” she said simply. “Fulham is not a
-good field for such a message; it was quite different in Burlington.
-Most of them went away saying it would be very fine if it were not
-wholly impossible.”
-
-“And it does not occur to you, does it, Mrs. Burgess,” Ward pressed the
-question with undisguised earnestness, “that perhaps they were right?
-that there is something to be said for the old order, as old as the
-race? that possibly certain distinctions are inherent in the nature of
-things? Such distinctions, for instance, as separate you,” and Ward gave
-the pronoun a freight of significance to carry, “from that man,” and he
-indicated a labourer who had just left the room with an immense box of
-merchandise on his broad, bent shoulders, and whose slow, heavy steps
-could now be heard on the stairs below.
-
-He had struck the wrong chord.
-
-“Professor Ward,” cried Anna, her voice even lower than its wont, but
-her emphasis the more intense, “did that man choose to be reduced to the
-life and little more than the faculties of a beast of burden, to be a
-brother to the ox, to live a blind, brutalized, animal existence, with
-neither joy nor star?”
-
-She paused a moment, and then added, with indescribable pathos dimming
-the kindling light in her eyes:—
-
-“It is that man, Professor Ward, and what he stands for, that sends me
-to Fraternia, if perhaps I can yet atone. It is I that have made that
-man what he is, and you, and all of us who have clung gladly to our
-powers and privileges, and dared to believe that we were made for the
-heights of life, and men like him for the abyss. If we could read our
-New Testament once as if it were not an old story! If we, for one
-moment, could lay our social cruelties beside that pattern shown us in
-the mount!”
-
-The deep heart of her and the innermost motive power broke forth from
-Anna’s usual quiet and reserve in these last words with thrilling
-influence upon both men. She was beautiful as she spoke, but with the
-beauty of some Miriam or Cassandra,—a woman, as had been said of her
-long before, “to die for, not to play games with.”
-
-Professor Ward, the irritation of his earlier mood quite gone, stood
-regarding Anna as she spoke with a sadness as profound as it was wholly
-unaffected. Having spoken, she turned to go.
-
-“Let me say one word, Mrs. Burgess,” he said, extending his hand to
-detain her a moment. “I sympathize deeply with your purposes, and I am
-not wholly incapable of appreciating your motives. From my heart I shall
-bid you God-speed on your way when your time comes to go out into this
-new spiritual adventure. It will be none the less noble because it is
-impossible.”
-
-“Good-by,” she said, and smiled.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIX
-
- Canst drink the waters of the crispèd spring?
- O sweet Content!
- Swim’st thou in wealth, yet sink’st in thine own tears?
- O Punishment!
- Then he that patiently Want’s burden bears
- No burden bears, but is a king, a king.
- O sweet Content, O sweet, O sweet Content!
- Work apace, apace, apace, apace,
- Honest labour bears a lovely face.
- —THOMAS DEKKER, 1600.
-
-
-A valley, two thousand feet above the sea level, narrowing at its upper
-or northern end to a ravine piercing thickly wooded hills, but widening
-gradually southward, until, a mile lower down the mountain stream which
-issues from the gorge, it becomes a broad sunny meadow land.
-
-On a day in the middle of March, when the sun shone warm and a turquoise
-sky arched smiling over this valley, signs of human activity and energy
-prevailed on every side. In the bottom lands men were ploughing the
-broad level fields; here the river had been dammed, forming a pond, on
-the bank of which stood a large picturesque building sheathed with
-dark-green shingles. From the wide and open windows of this building the
-sound of whirring spindles and the joyous laughter of girls and men
-issued.
-
-Higher up the valley men were at work building a light bridge of plank
-across the creek, while others were carting newly sawed lumber, with its
-strong pungent smell, from the sawmill below. On the eastern side of the
-valley, between this bridge and the mills half a mile south, were
-scattered or grouped at irregular intervals, forty or fifty small
-cabins, some of log, others of unplaned boards; thatched, or covered in
-red tile. Men and women were at work in the damp mould of the gardens by
-which these cabins were surrounded, and fresh green things were shooting
-up. On the opposite side of the stream, on a wooded knoll, stood a
-large, low, barrack-like building with a red roof, and near it a few
-cabins. It was opposite this group of buildings that the foot-bridge was
-in process of making, to supersede a single plank and rail which had
-hitherto connected the banks of the stream. Down the valley from this
-small and separate settlement stretched fields already under
-cultivation, for corn, potatoes, and cotton.
-
-There were no streets in this rustic settlement. Footpaths led to the
-cottage doors through the thin, coarse grass, and along the eastern side
-of the little river; and between its bank and the houses ran a rough
-wagon road, deeply rutted now by the wheels of the lumber wagons in the
-soft, red soil. To the north and east the hills rose abruptly, covered
-with oak and pine, and the aromatic fragrance of the latter was in the
-air, mingling with the scent of the soil. Beyond the lower hills to the
-west loomed the shoulders of dim, blue mountains, while looking south,
-down the shining river, beyond a belt of woodland, the valley broadened
-out to the sunny plain stretching to the horizon line.
-
-The limpid clearness of the air, the fragrance of the forest and the
-earth, the musical flow of the little river, the wonderful brilliancy of
-the sky, with the vast uplift of the mountains, gave a sense of wild
-perfection to the _ensemble_. Such was Fraternia in the morning of its
-second spring.
-
-It was during that decade which saw the sudden springing into life of so
-large a number of communistic organizations and settlements throughout
-the country, mainly in the south and west. Many of these experiments
-were crude and obscure; most of them were shortlived. They were founded
-on widely different social conceptions, ranging from those of unlimited
-license and rank anarchism up to the high ideals of the life of
-Christian brotherhood set forth in the early church.
-
-The latter was the foundation of John Gregory’s colony in Fraternia.
-Inflexible morality and blamelessness of Christian living were his
-cardinal laws. Built upon them was the superstructure of economic and
-social equality, of labour sharing, and of domestic simplicity.
-
-Thus far unusual promise attended the adventure, and peace and good will
-reigned in the little community.
-
-Toward the upper end of the village half a dozen men were at work around
-a circular excavation not more than five or six feet in diameter, which
-had been lined with irregular slabs and blocks of stone patched together
-with clay. In blue overalls thickly bespattered with red mud and the
-sticky clay, a man was working on his knees at the edge of this basin.
-It was Keith Burgess. Near him, measuring with rule and line and marking
-out the width of the coping, stood the artist, Pierce Everett. Their
-fellow-workmen were two Irishmen—big, active fellows, with honest
-eyes—and a wiry little black-a-vised Jew, a quondam foreman in a New
-York sweat-shop. He was mixing clay and laying the stone of the coping,
-while the Irishmen were at work in an open trench through which ran the
-pipe which was to conduct the water from a spring in the ravine above
-into the new reservoir.
-
-Emerging from the woods below the dam a little crowd of children came
-straying up the valley, laughing and shouting, and jumping gayly over
-the pools of red mud in the road. Their hands were full of wild
-flowers,—bloodroot, and anemones, and arbutus; their hair was blown
-about in the wind; their eyes were shining. Among them, giving her hand
-to a little girl who walked with a crutch, walked Anna Burgess, her face
-as joyous as theirs, and a free, unhampered vigour and grace in every
-line of her figure. She was the head teacher in the village school, and
-was known to her scholars, and, indeed, quite generally in the little
-community, as “Sister Benigna.”
-
-This name, “Benigna,” which had come down in Anna’s family for
-generations, and had been given her as a second name, had not been used
-for many years, save by her mother, who still clung loyally to the full
-“Anna Benigna.” Who it was in Fraternia who had revived the beautiful
-old Moravian name was not known, but the use of it had been quickly
-established, especially among the children and the foreign folk.
-
-The habit of using “Brother” and “Sister” with the given name in
-ordinary social intercourse was common, although not universal, in
-Fraternia. Anna’s assistants in the school—a pale, little English
-governess, who had apparently never known stronger food than tea and
-bread until she came to Fraternia, and a rosy-cheeked German
-kindergartner—were among the little flock, their hands overflowing with
-wild flowers, and their faces with the high delight the spring day
-brought them. It was Saturday morning, and a holiday.
-
-Suddenly there was a shout from some boys who were foremost in the
-company, and they came scampering back to Anna exclaiming that the
-“fountain” was almost finished, and, perhaps, the water would soon be
-turned into it. By common consent the whole party hastened on and soon
-encircled the workmen at the basin with noisy questions and merry
-chatter. It was to be so fine not to have to go up to the spring in the
-ravine with pails and pitchers any more. Could they surely have the
-water here for Sunday? Then Fräulein Frieda told them how the girls in
-her country came to such fountains with their jugs, and carried them
-away full on their heads. She showed them with a tin pail, found lying
-in the clay, just how it was done, walking away with firm, balanced
-step, the pail unsupported on her pretty flaxen-haired head, on which
-the sun shone dazzlingly. The little girls were greatly delighted, and
-all declared they should learn to carry their water pots home on their
-heads from the _Quelle_, as Fräulein Frieda called it.
-
-Anna stood at the edge of the basin, Keith at her feet, on his knees,
-with the trowel in his hands, smiling up at her, the little lame girl
-still at her side, a trace of wistfulness in her eyes as she watched the
-others.
-
-“We will not carry our water pails on our heads, you and I, will we,
-little Judith?” Anna asked, kind and motherly. “_We_ want our brains to
-grow, and it might crowd them down; don’t you think so?”
-
-The swarthy Jew looked up from the clay he was mixing with quick,
-instinctive gratitude. Judith was his child. He grinned a broad and
-rather hideous grin, and exclaimed in a broken dialect:—
-
-“Das ist so, Kleine; shust listen to our lady! She knows. She says it
-right.”
-
-Pierce Everett’s dark eyes flashed with sudden enthusiasm. Turning to
-Anna he bowed profoundly and said low to Keith, as well as to her:—
-
-“There you have it! Barnabas has found your title—‘our lady’!”
-
-Anna looked into Everett’s dark eager eyes with her quiet smile, and was
-about to speak, when a sudden noise of grating and rattling and horses’
-hoofs behind them caused them all three to turn and look down the river.
-A horse and stone drag were approaching rapidly, driven by John Gregory,
-who stood on the drag, which was loaded with big clean pebbles from the
-river-bed. He wore a coarse grey flannel shirt, the collar turned off a
-little at the throat, and rough grey trousers tucked into high rubber
-boots, which reached to the thighs. The cloth cap on his head with its
-vizor bore a certain resemblance to a helmet, and altogether the
-likeness of the whole appearance to that of a Roman warrior in his
-chariot did not escape the three friends who watched its approach in the
-motley crowd around the basin.
-
-Gregory drove his drag close up to the edge of the coping, now nearly
-laid, greeted the company with a courteous removal of his hat and a
-cordial Good-morning, then discharged the load of pebbles in a glinting
-heap on the soft red earth.
-
-There was no conscious assumption of mastery or direction in Gregory’s
-manner, nothing could have been simpler or more democratic than the
-impartial comradery with which he joined the others, nevertheless the
-sense that the master was among them was instantly communicated
-throughout the little group. Up in the trench, nearly to the base of the
-cliffs which marked the entrance to the ravine, one Irishman said to the
-other, in a tone of satisfaction not unmixed with good-natured sarcasm:—
-
-“Himsilf’s come now. The gintlemin masons will git to rights or they’ll
-lose their job, d’ye mind, Patrick?”
-
-“Oh, ay,” said the other, “an’ the same to yersilf, if ye ivir noticed
-it.”
-
-There was a little silence even among the chattering children as Gregory
-stooped by Everett’s side, pulled up with the ease of mighty muscle two
-or three stones, took the trowel from Keith’s hand and a hod of mortar
-from the waiting Barnabas, and set the stones over on a truer line,
-laughing the while with the men and turning aside the edge of criticism
-with frank self-disparagement, as being himself but a tyro.
-
-A curious consequence of Gregory’s appearance on the scene after this
-sort, was the dwarfed effect of the men around him, who suddenly seemed
-to have shrunk in stature and proportions, and whose motions, beside the
-virile force and confident freedom of his, appeared incompetent and
-weak.
-
-Anna had drawn back from her place near the basin’s edge. Gregory had
-not looked at her nor she at him directly. In fact, they habitually, for
-some reason they themselves could not define, avoided each other, and
-yet could not avoid a piercing consciousness, when together, of every
-look and word of the other. A sudden shyness and subduing had fallen
-instantly upon Anna’s bright mood, and, while the others watched every
-look and motion of Gregory with almost breathless interest, she stood
-apart and arranged little Judith’s flowers with apparent preoccupation.
-
-Tossing the trowel back to Keith, with whom he exchanged a few words of
-question, Gregory next hastened with long strides up the line of the
-trench to the place where the Irishmen were at work. Here was a
-primitive moss-grown trough, into which the water of the spring had
-hitherto been conducted, and to which all the people had been obliged to
-come for their supply of drinking water. The new iron pipe already
-replaced the rude wooden conduit which had done duty until now, but the
-water still flowed into the trough, and would do so until, the basin
-completed, the connection might be made between the two sections of
-pipe.
-
-Under Gregory’s direction this was now effected, and the water of the
-spring, if there was no flaw, should now flow unimpeded into the basin
-below. To test the basin, it was Gregory’s purpose to make the
-experiment at once.
-
-Presently there was a shout, exulting and joyous, from the company
-below.
-
-“The water is here! The water! The water!” rose the cry into the
-stillness of the valley. The men at work upon the bridge left their
-work, and hastened to join the little crowd.
-
-With strides even longer than before, Gregory came down again, the
-Irishmen following him in a scramble to keep up. Joy was in all their
-faces, and the deepest joy of all in that of Gregory. They stood
-together and watched the jet of water as it sprang from the mouth of the
-pipe, turbid at first, but gradually becoming clear and sparkling, and
-fell with a gentle, musical plashing into the stone fountain. There was
-complete silence for a little space, as they looked intently at the
-increasing depth of the gathering pool, and then, bringing down his
-hands with a will on the shoulders of Keith and Everett, Gregory
-exclaimed:—
-
-“Men, you have done well, all of you! It holds, do you see? It is tight
-as a ship. Hurrah!”
-
-They all joined in a great cheer, and then, swiftly finding where she
-stood, or knowing, as he always seemed to know, instinctively, Gregory’s
-eyes sought Anna Burgess.
-
-“Will Sister Benigna come up here?” he asked quietly, with the
-unhesitating steadiness of the man who knows just what he means to do.
-
-Anna came slowly forward, and stood on the new-laid coping, by the side
-of Gregory, greatly wondering. Just beyond her was Keith, side by side
-with Barnabas Rosenblatt. Meanwhile, Gregory had taken from his pocket a
-small folding drinking cup of shining metal, which he had held in the
-flow of the spring water until it was thoroughly purified. Turning now
-to look at all those who stood round about, he said:—
-
-“Brothers, sisters, little children, this water is the good gift of God.
-Let this fountain be now consecrated to all pure and holy uses. By the
-wish which I believe to be in every one of you, let the first who shall
-drink of this living water from the new fountain be our Sister Benigna.”
-
-With these words Gregory filled the cup from the sparkling outgush of
-the spring, the water so cold that the polished cup was covered with
-frosty dimness, and with simple seriousness handed it to Anna. Affection
-and reverence were in the eyes of all the people as they watched her
-while with uncovered head, calm brow, and the fine simplicity of
-unconsciousness she took the cup and drank. But with the first touch of
-her lips to the cup the hand in which she held it trembled; and when she
-drained the last drop, it trembled still. As Anna stepped back, having
-drunk, into the ranks, Gregory lifted his hand, and with the gesture
-which commands devotion repeated the ancient words,—
-
-“‘O most high, almighty, good Lord God, to thee belong praise, glory,
-honour, and all blessing!
-
-“‘Praised be my Lord for our brother the wind, and for air and cloud,
-calms and all weather, by the which thou upholdest in life all
-creatures.
-
-“‘Praised be my Lord for our sister, water, who is very serviceable unto
-us, and humble, and precious, and clear.’”
-
-Then with a deeper solemnity and significance in face and voice, he
-continued:—
-
-“‘If thou knewest the gift of God and who it is that saith to thee, Give
-me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him and he would have given
-thee living water.’
-
-“‘Jesus said, If any man thirst, let him come to me and drink.’”
-
-It was noon, and turning they all dispersed, each to his own place, a
-deepened gladness in their faces. But as for Anna Burgess, a dimness was
-upon her joy, a thrilling undercurrent of dread and wonder which she
-could not understand; for she had drunk of the Cup of Trembling—and knew
-it not.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXX
-
- We’ve toiled and failed; we spake the word;
- None hearkened; dumb we lie;
- Our Hope is dead, the seed we spread
- Fell o’er the earth to die.
-
- What’s this? For joy our hearts stand still,
- And life is loved and dear,
- The lost and found the cause hath crowned,
- The Day of Days is here.
- —WILLIAM MORRIS.
-
-
-The Burgesses had come to Fraternia in the preceding December, although
-Keith had soon left again, having still many business concerns to recall
-him to Fulham. The house there was now closed, and the life there for
-them presumably ended, and, late in February, Keith had returned to
-Fraternia.
-
-Anna had employed the months between their decision to join the
-coöperative colony and their actual journey to the South, in taking a
-short course in nursing in a Fulham hospital, reviving her old knowledge
-of the subject, gained in her girlhood in Burlington. She had it in mind
-to fit herself thus as thoroughly as the brief interval allowed, for the
-duties of a trained nurse to the little community, this being an
-occupation at once congenial to herself and important for the general
-good. For uniformity of service was by no means according to John
-Gregory’s plan, and Gertrude Ingraham might not have found herself shut
-up to the cotton mill even if she had done so incredible a thing as to
-throw in her fortunes with Fraternia. All must labour, and all must
-labour for the general good,—one of Gregory’s prime maxims being, If a
-man will not work, neither shall he eat; but as far as practicable that
-labour was to be on the line of each person’s best capacity, choice, and
-development. Thus Keith Burgess’s feat of stonelaying had not been
-enforced, but self-chosen, as an expression of his good will in the
-sharing the coarser labours of the people. The work to which he had been
-assigned by Gregory was clerical, not manual, being that of secretary to
-the colony.
-
-Anna, thus far, had had no opportunity for any especial use of her
-vocation as nurse, the families of Fraternia being remarkably healthy
-under the simple and wholesome conditions of their life, and serious
-illness unknown during that winter. Her trained and well-equipped mind
-obviously fitted her for a work of intellectual rather than industrial
-character, and the duties of teaching the children of the colony five
-hours a day—the required time of service for the women—were given to her
-by common consent.
-
-Neither at the time when she was chosen to this service, nor at any
-other, had John Gregory directly communicated his wishes to Anna or
-discussed his plans with her; and yet, from the day of her arrival in
-Fraternia he had perhaps never formed a plan which was not in some
-subtle manner shaped by unconscious reference to her. In her own way,
-Anna’s personality was hardly less conspicuous than his; and these two
-invisibly and involuntarily modified each the other’s action and
-deliberation as the orbits of two stars are influenced by their mutual
-attraction and repulsion.
-
-By the whole habit and choice of his life John Gregory was a purist in
-morals and in his personal practice of simplicity. The most frugal fare
-and the simplest domestic appliances served his turn by preference,
-although he had been born and bred in comparative luxury. He was free
-and fraternal with men; gently respectful to women, whom he yet never
-treated as if they were superior to men by force of their weakness, but
-rather as being on a basis of accepted equality; while to little
-children he always showed winning tenderness. Socially, however, he
-scrupulously avoided intercourse with women, with a curious, undeviating
-persistency which almost suggested ascetic withdrawal. The other men of
-the colony, several of whom were men of some social rank and mental
-culture, found it pleasant to stop on the woodland paths or by the
-stream, all the more in these soft spring days, and exchange thought and
-word, light or grave, with the girls and women, but never once had
-Gregory been seen to do this, or to visit the households presided over
-by women on any errand whatever. Whether a line of action which thus
-inevitably separated him more and more from the domestic life of the
-people, was pursued by deliberate purpose or by the accident of personal
-inclination was not clear, but certain it was that the fact contributed
-to the distinction and separation which seemed inevitably to belong to
-Gregory. With all his simplicity of life and democratic brotherliness of
-conversation, he lived and moved in Fraternia with an effect of one on a
-wholly different plane from the others, and with the full practical
-exercise of a dictatorship which no one resented because all regarded
-him with a species of hero-worship as manifestly the master of the
-situation.
-
-His residence was in one of the small cabins on the western side of the
-river, to which the bridge gave convenient access. The other cabins
-served, one as a rude, temporary library, the other as storehouse, while
-the large barrack-like building furnished bachelor quarters for the
-unmarried men. Gregory, since Everett’s arrival, had shared his house
-with the artist. Their meals were taken in common with the other men. No
-one was in the habit of entering the house, Gregory having a kind of
-office, agreeably furnished, at the cotton mill, where he was usually to
-be found when not at work in field or wood. This was, however, often the
-case, for he never failed to discharge the daily quota of manual labour
-which he had assigned himself; and it was noticeable to all that if any
-task were of an offensive or difficult nature, he was the one to assume
-it first and as a matter of course. It was owing to this characteristic,
-perhaps more than to any other, save his singular personal ascendency,
-that the silent dictatorship of Gregory in the little community was so
-cheerfully accepted. Nominally the government of the village was in the
-hands of a board of directors, with an inner executive committee, and of
-which Gregory was chairman. Several women served on the larger board.
-Keith Burgess was a director; Anna’s name had not been proposed for the
-office. There had been but one vacancy in the board on their arrival,
-which was sufficient reason. The councils of the directors were held
-weekly in Gregory’s office, and thus far a good degree of harmony
-prevailed.
-
-Again it was Saturday morning. A week had passed which had brought many
-days of heavy rain. The river, swollen and yellow, dashed noisily down
-from the gorge and filled its channel below with deep and urgent
-current. On its turbid flood appeared from time to time newly felled
-logs, floated down from the regions above, where Fraternia men were at
-work, taking advantage of the swollen river for conveying their lumber
-to the sawmill. A west wind, the night before, had blown the clouds
-before it, and this morning the sun shone from an effulgent sky; the
-wind had died to a soft breeze laden with manifold fragrance; and in
-place of the chill of the north, the air possessed the indescribable
-softness and balm of the southern spring.
-
-It was again a busy morning in Fraternia, and everywhere, and in all the
-homely tasks, thrilled the unchecked joy in simple existence of innocent
-hearts living out their normal bent for mutual help and burden-sharing.
-In the garden ground around their house, which was high up the valley in
-a group of three others, one of which contained the common kitchen and
-dining room for the inmates of all, Anna Burgess was at work in her
-garden, sowing and planting in the damp soil. Glancing down the valley,
-she could see Everett hard at work with another man, who had been an
-architect in Burlington, erecting a little thatched pavilion, of
-original design, graceful and rustic, to protect the new and precious
-fountain from the sun, and keep its water clean and serviceable. Across
-the river, in the library, Keith, she knew, was at work at his
-bookkeeping, and also at the task of collecting excerpts from the
-writings of social economists for use in an address which he was
-preparing. A new mental activity had been stimulated in Keith by the
-change of climate and conditions, and the influx of new ideas; and the
-ease and cheerfulness with which he had adapted himself to the primitive
-habits of pioneer life, would have amazed his friend Ward.
-
-Barnabas had been gathering one or two sizable slabs of stone which had
-been left from the lining and coping of the fountain, and Anna watched
-him a moment as, having loaded them into a wheelbarrow, he proceeded to
-carry them down to the new bridge, and so across to the west side of the
-river. She hardly cared to wonder what he was about to do, being
-otherwise absorbed, and her eyes did not follow him as he wheeled his
-burden on up the knoll on which were the library and the house of
-Gregory, set in their bit of pine wood.
-
-The door of Gregory’s cabin stood open, as was customary in Fraternia in
-mild weather. Barnabas dropped the burden from his barrow just before
-the open door, stood to wipe the sweat from his forehead, and then,
-kneeling, began the self-imposed effort of placing the stones together
-for a low step, which was yet lacking to the rudely finished house. As
-he worked, he now and then lifted his eyes and glanced into the interior
-of the house which he had never entered. It had the walls and ceiling of
-unplaned, uncovered boards of all the Fraternia houses; the floor was
-absolutely bare and absolutely clean, damp in spots and redolent of soap
-from recent scrubbing. The open windows let in the sun-warmed, piney
-air, but the light was obscured, the trees growing close to the house,
-and a dim gold-green twilight reigned in the silent room. A door stood
-open into the second room where two narrow iron beds came within the
-field of vision. There was the ordinary chimney, built of brick, of
-ample proportions, with a pine shelf running across, and in the
-fireplace logs of fat pine laid for a blaze in the evening, which was
-still sure to be cool. Plain wooden arm-chairs stood near the hearth; an
-uncovered table of home manufacture, clumsy and heavy, in the middle of
-the room, was thickly strewn with books and papers and writing
-materials. It was the typical Fraternia interior,—bare, and yet not
-comfortless, and with its own effect of simple distinction, conveyed by
-absolute cleanness, order, and the absence of the superfluous.
-
-But it was none of these details which caught the eye of Barnabas. Above
-the chimney there was fastened by hidden screws close against the wall,
-so that it had the effect of a panel, a picture, unframed, showing the
-figure of a slender girl with uplifted head and solemn eyes, set against
-an Oriental background. It was Everett’s study of the Girlhood of the
-Virgin, and besides it there was no picture nor decoration of any sort
-in the place.
-
-Each time he lifted his eyes from the stones before him to the picture
-whose high lights gleamed strangely through the dimness of the room
-within, Barnabas was more impressed with some elusive resemblance in the
-face; and at last, striking the stone with his hand, he murmured to
-himself in his native tongue, “Now I have it! The damsel there is like
-our lady when she prays.”
-
-Meanwhile the river ran between and thundered over the dam below; the
-red roofs gleamed warm in the sun, and Anna, down on her knees like
-Barnabas, on a bit of board, was tending her bulbs with loving hands,
-while within her was springing a very rapture of poetic joy. Almost for
-the first time in her life she was conscious of unalloyed happiness. Was
-it because the sky was blue? or because the vital flood of spring beat
-and surged about her in the river, in the forest, in the air? Not
-wholly; nor even because under these kindly influences all the dormant
-poetic and creative instincts of her nature were stirring into luxuriant
-blossoming, although all these things filled her with throbbing delight.
-The deeper root of her joy was in the satisfaction, so long delayed, of
-her passion for brotherhood with lowly men and poor; the release from
-the constraint of artificial conventions, and from the painful sense,
-which she could never escape in the years of her Fulham life, that she
-owed to every weary toiler who passed her on the street an apology for
-her own leisure, her luxury and ease.
-
-Suddenly Anna rose, and stood facing the west, her eyes full of light. A
-voice within her had called and said:—
-
-“I can write poetry now, and I will!” The fulness of energy of joy and
-fulfilment in her spirit sought expression as naturally as the mountain
-spring sought its outlet in the fountain below.
-
-Just then her neighbour, in the house on the left,—it was the
-dining-house,—put her head out of the window and said, reflectively:—
-
-“Say, Sister Benigna, I wish I knew how to get the dinner up into the
-woods to the men-folks. It’s half-past eleven and time it went this
-minute, and Charley has gone down to Spalding after the mail; but I
-suppose it’s late or something. Anyway he ain’t here, and I’ve got the
-rest to wait on.”
-
-“Why, I could take the dinner pails up to them, Sister Amanda,” answered
-Anna, obligingly. The “men-folks” alluded to were of her own group of
-families and were felling lumber in the woods north of the valley.
-
-“You couldn’t do it alone, but Fräulein Frieda, she’d be tickled to
-death to go with you. There she is now,” and Sister Amanda flew to the
-cabin door through which a neatly ordered dinner table could be seen,
-and shouted down the slope to the young German teacher who had just come
-over the bridge with some books on her arm from the library.
-
-A few moments later Anna sallied out from the house with Frieda, both
-carrying well-stored dinner pails.
-
-“No matter,” said Anna, smiling at the sudden diversion from her poetic
-inspiration; “it is better to live brotherhood than to sing brotherhood.
-But some day, maybe, yet, I shall sing.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXXI
-
- Heaven’s gift takes earth’s abatement!
- He who smites the rock and spreads the water,
- Bidding drink and live a crowd beneath him,
- Even he, the minute makes immortal,
- Proves, perchance, but mortal in the minute,
- Desecrates, belike, the deed in doing.
- —ROBERT BROWNING.
-
-
-Relays of men had been at work in the woods clothing the steep banks of
-the ravine above Fraternia for three days, even while the rain was
-falling in torrents. It was absolutely necessary to secure the lumber
-while the river was of a depth to carry it down stream, and for a time
-all other work was in abeyance.
-
-Gregory had worked steadily with the rest at the wood cutting, but Keith
-had told Anna the night before that on Saturday morning he would be
-obliged to go down to Spalding, the small town in the plain below the
-valley, on urgent business concerning notes which were coming due and
-must be extended if possible.
-
-It was therefore with great surprise that Anna, as they approached the
-spot where the men were at work, heard Frieda exclaim:—
-
-“There is the master himself; see, Sister Benigna!”
-
-They had had a merry scramble up the gorge, but a hard one. The swollen
-stream had submerged the narrow path by which the ascent was commonly
-made, and it was only by finding the footholds cut out by the men with
-their axes in the earth of the dripping, slippery bank above, that Anna
-and her companion had been able to make their way on. Holding their
-pails with one hand and clinging to overhanging branches or roots of
-ferns and laurel with the other, shaking the splashes of rain from the
-dripping leaves as they struck their faces, the two had scrambled
-breathlessly forward; and now, at length, the welcome sound of the axe
-greeted their ears, and they saw a little beyond, strewing the
-underbrush, the new chips and shining splinters of stripped bark which
-told that trees had recently been felled.
-
-Anna had just stopped to exclaim:—
-
-“How good it smells, Frieda,—such a wild, pure smell!” and was laughing
-at her own choice of adjectives, when Frieda had called her attention to
-John Gregory. He was standing at no great distance from them in the
-midst of the rapid, roaring creek where the water reached nearly to the
-tops of his high boots, and, with a strong pole in both hands, was
-directing the course of the logs, which were eddying wildly about him on
-the surface of the torrent, into the proper channel which should carry
-them down stream.
-
-Frieda’s voice attracted his attention to their approach, and without
-pause he strode through the water, leaped up the bank and was promptly
-in the path, if it could be called such, before them, holding out both
-hands to relieve them of their burdens, and smiling a cordial greeting.
-
-Anna’s cheeks wore a vivid flush.
-
-“Then you did not go to Spalding?” she asked, seeking to quiet the
-confusion of her surprise and the immoderate beating of her heart.
-Frieda, she saw gratefully, was quite as excited; it was so unusual for
-Mr. Gregory to bestow attentions of this sort upon them; it was not
-strange that one should be a little stirred.
-
-“No,” he said, leading on in the now broadening path, “I found I could
-send a letter by Charley, and the men rather needed a long-legged fellow
-like myself up here this morning. But I see that my doing this has
-reacted unexpectedly upon you. Charley not being on hand to bring the
-dinner, our ladies have had to take his place,” and Gregory turned
-toward them as he spoke with regret and apology which were evidently
-sincere.
-
-“Are you very tired?” he asked simply, looking at Frieda but speaking to
-Anna.
-
-They both declared that it had been great fun and they were not in the
-least tired; and indeed the bright bloom of their cheeks, and the
-laughter in their eyes, and the elastic firmness of their steps were
-sufficient reassurance.
-
-“I think, Mr. Gregory,” said Anna, quite at her ease now, “that
-Fraternia women can never know anything of that disease of civilization,
-nervous prostration. It will become extinct in one spot at least.”
-
-“‘More honoured in the breach than the observance,’” quoted Gregory, “we
-shall hail its loss.”
-
-Soon they reached a little clearing, where, the underbrush trampled
-down, the rugged steepness of the bank declining to a gentler slope, and
-the sun having found full entrance by reason of the removal of the
-larger trees, there was a possibility of finding a dry place to rest.
-Here they were soon joined by half a dozen men, several of whom had
-brought their dinner with them, and preparations were made for a fire to
-heat the coffee which filled one of the pails brought by Anna and
-Frieda. The other was solidly packed with sweet, wholesome brown bread
-and butter and thick slices of meat.
-
-The fat pine chips and splinters burned readily in spite of the
-all-pervading dampness, and the coffee-pail, suspended over this small
-camp-fire from a hastily improvised tripod, was soon sending up a
-deliciously fragrant steam.
-
-The men treated the two women as if they had been foreign princesses,
-covering a great tree-trunk with their coats for a kind of throne for
-them, and serving them with coffee in tin cups with much flourish of
-mock ceremony. This part of the proceedings John Gregory watched from a
-little distance, leaning against a tree, a smile of quiet pleasure in
-his eyes. He refused the coffee for himself, drinking always and only
-water, but ate the bread and meat they handed him with hearty relish and
-a vast appetite.
-
-By a sort of inevitable gravitation, almost before the meal was
-concluded, Frieda had strayed off into the woods with Matt Taylor, son
-of Anna’s neighbour, whose devotion to her was one of the especial
-interests for Fraternia folk that spring. A certain view from the crest
-of the hill beyond the little clearing was by no means to be missed.
-Then, one after the other, the men took up their axes and returned to
-their work; but John Gregory kept his place, and still stood leaning
-against the tree, facing Anna, the smouldering embers of the fire
-between.
-
-He had been speaking on a subject in which all had been interested,—the
-prayer test advocated by Mr. Tyndall, which had attracted the attention
-of the scientific and religious world of that time. The men had gone
-away reluctantly, leaving the conversation to these two. Heretofore Anna
-had hardly spoken, but now with deepening seriousness she said:—
-
-“I feel the crude, incredible impertinence of such a test as this which
-Mr. Tyndall has proposed, and yet it brings up very keenly to me my own
-attitude for many years.”
-
-Gregory looked a question, but did not speak, and Anna went on:—
-
-“A good woman whom I once heard speak at Mrs. Ingraham’s in Burlington
-gave me an idea of prayer, quite new to me then, but which I at least
-partially accepted, and which has had its effect on my inner life ever
-since.”
-
-“It was—?”
-
-“That we were to pray to God for every small material interest of life,
-and were to expect definite, concrete, physical return. That if such was
-not our experience it was because we were not dwelling near God, and
-were out of harmony with him. This life of answered prayer and perfect
-demonstrable union which she described was called the ‘higher life.’”
-
-“What was your own experience?”
-
-“It has been a long experience of spiritual defeat. I prayed for years
-for every temporal need, asked for whatever I deeply desired,
-and—never—perhaps there was one exception, but hardly more—received an
-answer to my praying which I could fairly assume to be such.”
-
-Anna’s face was profoundly sad, as she spoke, with the sense of the
-baffling disappointments of years.
-
-“In the end what has been the effect on you?”
-
-“I have ceased to pray at all, Mr. Gregory. I know that sounds very
-harsh, perhaps very wrong, but I lost the expectation of a response, and
-the constant defeat and failure made me bitter and unbelieving. God
-seemed only to mock my prayers, not to fulfil. It seemed to me at last
-that I was dishonouring him by praying, and that waiting in silence and
-patience was shown to be my portion. Do you think that was sinful?”
-
-Anna raised her eyes timidly to Gregory’s face with this question, and
-met the repose and steady confidence of it with a swift presentiment of
-comfort.
-
-“No,” he answered; “I think you were simply struggling to release
-yourself from the meshes of the net which a mercenary conception of
-prayer cannot fail to throw over the soul. It was said of John Woolman,
-and a holier man never lived, that he offered no prayers for special
-personal favours. I believe the theory of prayer of your Burlington
-friend not only mistaken, but dangerous and misleading. Instead of such
-a habit of mind as she described being a ‘higher life,’ I should call it
-a lower one. The nearer the man comes to God, the less he prays, not the
-more, for definite objective things and externals; the more he rests on
-the great good will of God. Prayer was not designed for man to use to
-conform a reluctant God to his will, to get things given him, but to
-conform the man’s own blind and erring will to the divine. By this I do
-not mean to say that no prayers for temporal objects are granted. Many
-have been, but the soul that feeds itself on this conception of prayer
-as a system of practical demand and supply lives on husks.”
-
-“But there are many promises?” Anna said with hesitation.
-
-“Yes,” said Gregory, with the emphasis of sure conviction, crossing the
-space between them to stand directly before her, forgetting all his
-usual scruples; “but you must interpret Scripture by Scripture, by the
-whole tendency and purpose, not by isolated mottoes which men like to
-drag out for spiritual decoration, breaking off short all their roots
-which reach down into the solid rock of universal Truth! Look at our
-Lord himself—did he ask for ‘ease and rest and joys’? It is only as we
-enter into his spirit that our prayers are answered, and that almost
-means that we shall cease to pray at all for personal benefits. He
-prayed, often, whole nights together, but was it that he might win his
-own cause with the people about him? Was it not rather for the
-multitudes upon whom he had compassion, and that God the Father should
-be made manifest in himself? Ah, Sister Benigna, few of us have sounded
-the depths of this great subject of prayer. It is one of the deepest
-things of God; and, believe me, it is not until we have cast out utterly
-the last shred of the notion of childish coaxing of God to do what will
-please us, that we can catch some small perception of its meaning. But
-let me say just one thing more: you are too young to count any prayer
-unanswered. At present you see in part and interpret God’s dealings only
-in part. At the end of life your interpretation will be larger, calmer
-than it is now. We ‘change the cruel prayers we made,’ and even here
-live to praise God that they are broken away ‘in his broad, loving
-will.’”
-
-Anna sat in silence, her eyes downcast, slowly passing in review the
-nature of her own most ardent prayers and the deep anguish and doubt of
-their non-fulfilment. Not one, she saw, could bear the high test of
-likeness to the mind of Christ, not one but had its admixture of
-selfishness, not one but seemed poor and vain in this new light. A
-nobler conception of the relation of her soul to God seemed to dawn
-within her. She looked up then, and saw upon Gregory’s face that inner
-illumination which belongs to the religious genius. The look of it smote
-her eyes as if with white and dazzling light, and they fell as if it
-were impossible to bear it. Then she rose, and they stood for a moment
-alone and in silence, while a sense of measureless content overflowed
-Anna’s spirit, and for an instant made time and space and human
-relations as if they were not. So strong upon her was the sense of
-uplift from the contact with the spirit of Gregory. She hardly knew at
-first that the incredible had happened. John Gregory had taken her hand
-in his, with reverent gentleness, for some seconds. He was asking her if
-he had been able to help her in any wise, and asking it as if he cared
-very much. She said “yes,” quite simply, and turned to go. Frieda was
-coming back, and they were lingering over long. Slowly they descended
-the rugged path before them, for a strange trepidation had come over
-Anna,—a vague, new, disturbing joy.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXXII
-
- What went ye out into the wilderness for to see?... A man clothed in
- soft raiment? Behold, they which are gorgeously apparelled, and live
- delicately, are in kings’ courts.—_St. Luke’s Gospel._
-
- Instead of the masterly good humour, and sense of power, and
- fertility of resource in himself; instead of those strong and
- learned hands, those piercing and learned eyes, that supple body,
- and that mighty and prevailing heart, which the father had, whom
- nature loved and feared, whom snow and rain, water and land, beast
- and fish, seemed all to know and to serve, we have now a puny,
- protected person, guarded by walls and curtains, stoves and
- down-beds, coaches, and menservants and women-servants from the
- earth and the sky.—R. W. EMERSON.
-
-
-The spring passed in Fraternia, and the summer. Not again did John
-Gregory and Anna come into direct personal communication. They went
-indeed their several ways with a steadier avoidance of this than before,
-from an undefined, but instinctive, sense of danger. Nevertheless, the
-fact that they breathed the same air and shared the same lot in life
-sufficed to yield in the heart of each an unfailing spring of
-contentment; while now and again it would happen that Anna, in her
-schoolroom or cottage, and Gregory, at his work, lifting their eyes at a
-footstep or a shadow, would be aware that the other had drawn near and
-passed by, and contentment would give place to nameless joy.
-
-The poetic impulse which Anna had inherited from both parents, but the
-expression of which had been stifled by the deadening of her high
-desires which life in Fulham had brought, now developed unchecked. Many
-influences promoted this development: her clear child-delight in the
-rich life of nature about her, the release of her long-cabined spiritual
-energy, and the stimulation of her powers of discernment and
-interpretation by contact with the strong intellectual power of Gregory.
-
-Gregory was, in the simple system of life in Fraternia, at once prophet,
-priest, and king; and his most potent influence over the people was
-manifest in the Sunday services and in the evening lectures which, for
-lack of a church, were held in a large empty room on the upper floor of
-the cotton mill. Anna found in these sermons and lectures the strongest
-intellectual and spiritual food upon which she had ever fared, and
-throve apace, having good faculty of assimilation. The verses which she
-wrote at intervals from a sudden and almost irresistible impulsion were
-always, when completed, turned over to her husband. Proud and pleased at
-this new gift of Anna’s, it was Keith’s habit to take them straightway
-to Gregory. Anna never knew this. She knew, however, that her poetry
-found its way into print, and now and then, she found, into the hearts
-of sincere people. This was new food for unaffected gladness, and she
-was glad.
-
-The summer, although its fierce continuous heat had been hard to bear,
-was yet the season _par excellence_ for Fraternia, and peace and plenty
-reigned in the valley. But with the autumn came a change, gradual at
-first, but later strongly accented. The wholesome occupations of the
-spring and summer came, of necessity, to a standstill. There was now
-little vent for the energy and working force of the people, while the
-scant resources of the narrow valley offered nothing to counteract a
-dull ennui which settled like a palpable cloud upon them. It had been a
-bad year for all their crops; the cotton crop had been a total failure,
-and the mill was shut down. This threw nearly fifty of the little
-community into enforced idleness, and a smouldering resentment was bred
-by the discovery that there had never been a profit, but rather a
-sustained loss, on the output of the mill by reason of Gregory’s scruple
-against selling at any advance beyond the bare cost of production. This
-principle might have a fine and lofty sound from the lips of an orator,
-speaking on broad, general lines; but the hard business sense of average
-men and women rebelled against the concrete results of its application
-to their own isolated case.
-
-“If other people did the same, it might work. For one manufactory alone
-to attempt it is simply commercial suicide,” they said to each other,
-and with justice.
-
-It became known, moreover, throughout the community, that a heavy
-mortgage had been placed on the land, held by a rich cotton planter in
-South Carolina, and that a wide chasm yet intervened between their
-present condition and that of self-support. A more serious
-disappointment and a more immediate difficulty, however, lay in the
-inadequacy of their food products to the needs of the people, and the
-consequent demand for ready money wherewith to buy the necessities of
-life.
-
-The fare, hitherto of the simplest, was gradually made coarser and less
-palatable, since better could not be. Winter was coming on; open-air
-life had become impossible; fierce winds coming down through the gorge
-swept the valley, and scattered the foliage of the forest, while a grey
-and sullen sky hung over, and every day brought chilly rains. There was
-some sickness, of a mild nature, but it emphasized the discomfort and
-inconveniences of the homes. The prospect for the coming months in
-Fraternia grew grim. The enthusiasm of novelty had tided the little
-community over the two preceding winters, but some stronger upholding
-must evidently now be interposed; for the people openly murmured, and
-began to say to each other sullenly, as once another company, “Were we
-brought out into this wilderness to die? As for this food, our soul
-loathes it.”
-
-Keenly conscious of the criticism of which he was now the subject,
-Gregory withdrew proudly more and more within himself, and touched less
-and less familiarly the life of those about him. It was well known that
-he deprived himself of all better fare than coarse bread and the water
-from the spring, that he had unhesitatingly devoted his last dollar to
-the enterprise so near his heart, and the patience and courage of the
-man were unfailing. But what of that? It was his own enterprise, with
-which he must stand or fall. Why should he not risk everything and bear
-everything? For the rest it was different. They, too, had given their
-money, and they had left their ceiled houses and their goodly fleshpots
-and their pleasant social commerce to further his project! They at least
-expected Christian food!
-
-Crossing the bridge from the library, on a raw afternoon late in
-November, Anna Burgess met a woman of her own age, a woman of cheerful,
-sensible temperament and habit, the wife of the architect, whom she had
-known in Burlington. The husband, George Hanson, had surrendered with
-unconditional devotion to Gregory’s teaching, and the wife, in loyal
-sympathy, although herself by no means an idealist, had gathered her
-little brood of children and a few household treasures together, and had
-come to Fraternia with him.
-
-As she approached the bridge, Mrs. Hanson, holding up her wet skirts
-with both hands, cried to Anna:—
-
-“Oh, how I hate this red mud! Don’t you? It seems to me I could stand it
-better if it were not this horrid colour. One can never get away from
-it, or lose sight of it.”
-
-Anna, who thus far, with only a few others, still kept heart and courage
-unbroken through this gloomy season, replied cheerfully that she rather
-liked the colour.
-
-Mrs. Hanson gave a mournful sigh.
-
-“You like Fraternia anyway, don’t you, Sister Benigna? You always did?”
-
-Anna smiled at the _naïveté_ of the question, and assented.
-
-“I must like what I have chosen above all other things.”
-
-“Well, I confess I never did like it, and I never shall. Oh, it will do
-very well for a summer vacation if one could be sure of getting safe
-home at the end. But as for a life like this! and when it comes to
-bringing up children here!—” and Mrs. Hanson’s voice broke into a
-suppressed sob.
-
-“I am sorry,” said Anna, gently.
-
-“Oh, Sister Benigna!” cried the other, letting loose the floodgates of
-her tears, while they still stood on the bridge in the piercing rain, “I
-never was so homesick in my life! When I hear my children asking if they
-are not going home to see grandma pretty soon, it just breaks my heart.
-They have no appetite for this hard meat and coarse bread, and they look
-so white and thin, and plead so for a good old-fashioned turkey dinner!
-I have a little money of my own, and I would spend every cent of it for
-better food for them, but Mr. Hanson, he says that would be unjust to
-the rest who cannot have such things, and that all must share alike. He
-says it would cost a hundred dollars to give one such dinner as the
-children want to the whole village.”
-
-“I suppose that is true,” said Anna, seriously; “and then it would only
-be harder to come back—”
-
-“To prison fare,” Mrs. Hanson interjected with unconcealed bitterness.
-“Well, all I have to say is that, if this is coöperation, I’ve had all I
-want of it. As for ‘the brotherhood of man,’ I wish I may never hear of
-it again as long as I live! I believe we have some duties to ourselves.”
-
-With this she passed slowly on, and Anna hastened homeward, a deep pang
-in her heart.
-
-Entering her own house, she found Keith, pale and dispirited, leaning
-with outstretched hands over the fire in an attitude unpleasantly
-suggestive of decrepitude and want. He looked up as Anna came in, and
-smiled faintly.
-
-“I think I have taken a fresh cold,” he said hoarsely; “this climate is
-lovely half the year, but the other half—” and he left the sentence
-unfinished, coughing sharply.
-
-Anna sat down by the hearth and removed her mud-sodden shoes, afterward
-hastening to prepare such scanty remedies for Keith as the cabin
-afforded. There was a dispensary down at the mill. She would go down for
-medicine as soon as she had made him comfortable. On the surface of her
-mind lay the habit of sympathy and care for her husband’s fragile
-health, but in the depth below was a sense she could not have formulated
-to herself of resentment at his lack of courage and fortitude. For
-Keith, although too finely courteous to share in the open murmuring of
-the people, was himself in the full swing of reaction from the
-comparative enthusiasm which he had felt six months ago. The fall
-weather had brought on ague, which, added to his chronic physical
-weakness, made him altogether wretched; and while he punctiliously
-avoided contributing to the public discontent, Anna perceived and
-understood perfectly his weariness with the enterprise. For the first
-time in their married life his patience and sweetness of temper failed;
-he had grown irritable, and fretted at small inconveniences in a way
-which chafed Anna’s hardier spirit indescribably.
-
-“I am very sorry, Keith, you are so miserable to-day,” Anna said now,
-with half-mechanical commiseration. It chanced that, as she had come on
-her way home from the little conversation with Mrs. Hanson, a new
-sympathy had taken possession of her for the lonely man upon whom fell
-the full burden of all this reaction, but who bore it with such
-unflinching patience, albeit so silently. Almost inevitably, her mind
-being thus absorbed, the sympathy with Keith in his familiar ailments
-and complaints was rendered perfunctory for the time, and by comparison
-his weakness wore to her some complexion of unmanliness.
-
-Perhaps Keith discerned a shade of coldness in her tone, and was stirred
-by it.
-
-“I am sure I do not know,” he said with significant emphasis, “how long
-I can stand this condition of things. You must see, Anna, that I am
-losing ground from day to day. Look at my hands!” and he held out his
-left hand to her, clammy and cold, for all the yellow blaze, wasted and
-thin even to emaciation.
-
-Anna took the hand in hers, and caressed it with womanly gentleness,
-murmuring that it was too bad, and something must be done; he certainly
-was not properly nourished.
-
-“Why, Anna,” the poor fellow cried, warmed by her compassion, “I would
-give all my ‘incomes from dreamland,’ all the fine-spun theories of
-economic religion and social salvation that Gregory or any other
-idealist ever dreamed of, to be for just one day in our own dear old
-library, warmed all through, floor warm, walls warm—everything, you
-know; to see you, beautifully dressed again, at your own table, with its
-silver and damask; to have the service we always had; and once, just
-once, Anna—to have all the hot water I want for a bath!”
-
-Anna smiled, but forebore to speak. The echo of Mrs. Hanson’s wail was
-almost too much for her, and yet she pitied and understood. Pioneers
-must be made of sterner stuff, that was all; men who, like Emerson’s
-genius, should “learn to eat their meals standing, and to relish the
-taste of fair water and black bread.” Were there such men? She knew one.
-She almost began to doubt if there were any more. A few moments later
-she brought Keith a tray containing tea and toast, served with such
-little elegance as was possible, and with the daintiness of shining
-linen and silver.
-
-“We must find a way for you to spend the winter in a different climate,”
-she said, as she stood beside him. She spoke very kindly, but with the
-inward sense of concession as of the stronger to the weaker. “You
-certainly cannot remain here if this ague continues.”
-
-Keith watched her gratefully, as she prepared to go out again, sure of
-some effective help when her strong determination was enlisted. The last
-six months had revealed his wife to him as six years had not done
-before. As she was about leaving, he said thoughtfully:—
-
-“Anna, I am not the only one to be anxious about. Perhaps you do not
-know it fully, but the whole scheme of Fraternia is on the edge of
-collapse.”
-
-“How do you mean, dear?” she asked, alarmed.
-
-“Through lack of funds. He says very little, but I can see that Gregory
-has practically reached the end of his resources and expectations.”
-
-Anna’s face showed her great concern.
-
-“I did not know it was so bad,” she answered. “Oh, Keith, would you not
-be willing to help out a little more? I know you have been wonderfully
-generous, but some one must come up to the point of real sacrifice and
-save the day. You could sell the Mill Street property, you know?” and
-the timid tone of her final question contrasted strangely with that in
-which she had begun speaking.
-
-It was the expression of Keith’s face which had dashed Anna’s
-confidence. She had never seen him look so much like his mother as when
-he replied.
-
-“No, my dear, I shall have to stand my ground,” he said, “and abide by
-the terms I first proposed. My mother’s estate is not to be sacrificed
-for this doubtful experiment. More than ever before I feel the
-problematic nature of Gregory’s scheme. We must provide for our own
-future as well as for his present crisis.”
-
-It was hard, Anna felt, as she started out again alone into the wind and
-rain, not to reflect that, perhaps, the sooner the experiment proved a
-failure the better Keith would be satisfied. She struggled against a
-rising sense of anger which the separation of their interest from
-Gregory’s gave her, at the characteristic caution, the irritating
-prudence, the old familiar inflexibility, so like his mother. Keith’s
-decision chafed her all the more because something warned her, in her
-own despite, that he was after all justified in it. But the contrast
-between his softness of yielding toward his own desires for luxury, and
-the hardness of his withholding from the bare needs of another, came
-just then into unfortunate juxtaposition.
-
-The attitude of Keith toward Gregory was complex and peculiar. When in
-the immediate presence of this man he was brought under his personal
-influence to a degree which even Anna often found surprising. Gregory’s
-intensely masculine and forceful nature appeared to exert an almost
-irresistible control over the younger man so long as they were together.
-As soon, however, as Keith was removed from that immediate influence, he
-reverted at once to an attitude not only critical toward Gregory, but at
-times, and as if instinctively, antagonistic.
-
-Anna went on her way down the valley to the cotton mill with a sore and
-heavy heart. On other days she could rejoice even in a leaden sky, in
-the muddy, sullen stream, in the stripped branches of the forest; but
-to-night, for twilight was falling now, all seemed clothed in that
-oppressive ugliness of Tennyson’s picture:—
-
- “When the rotten woodland drips,
- And the leaf is stamped in clay.”
-
-Reaching the mill, dark and silent otherwise, she noted a light in
-Gregory’s office and the sound of voices, but the door was closed. She
-passed through the corridor to the small room beyond which was used as a
-dispensary. Pushing open the door she found the room empty; the young
-man whose charge it was seemed to have betaken himself otherwhere over
-early. However, Anna’s knowledge of drugs was not inconsiderable, and in
-this case she knew precisely what Keith needed and where to find it. So
-she proceeded without delay to place on the small polished counter which
-stretched across the narrow room, the necessary ingredients for a
-certain powder, and then carefully mixed these in the proportion called
-for by her simple prescription. While she was thus occupied she noticed
-with a sense of discomfort that the voices in the office, only divided
-from her now by a thin partition, grew louder and took on a disagreeable
-quality. Presently the door of the office was opened, and some one
-hastened from the building in evident impatience, leaving the door wide
-open. There was complete silence for a moment, and then Anna heard John
-Gregory speak. She could not fail to hear every word, although his voice
-was not raised, and its wonted quietness and courtesy were unchanged.
-
-“You will bear me witness, nevertheless, Mr. Hanson,” he said, “that I
-never promised an easy life for those who came with me to Fraternia. I
-declared plainly that simplicity and poverty and roughness were to be
-accepted as necessary conditions.”
-
-“That is all very well,” a voice replied, which Anna recognized as that
-of the Burlington architect, whose wife had evidently been working upon
-him; “but when simplicity means starvation for delicate women and
-children, and poverty begins to look like bankruptcy, the situation
-strikes me as pretty serious. All I have to say is,” and the man’s voice
-rose to a pitch of high excitement, “you are the dictator here, and you
-are responsible; you’ve got us into this scrape, Mr. Gregory, by working
-upon our emotions, and all that, and now you’ve got to get us out of it,
-somehow!” and with these words Anna heard the speaker leave the office
-with rapid steps, and a moment after the outer door of the mill closed
-upon him.
-
-Anna had dropped the powders which she was dividing now into their
-papers, and had started to go to the door and close it that she might
-hear no more; but before she could do this a step in the corridor which
-she knew sent her back to her place with a beating heart, and in another
-instant John Gregory stood in the doorway.
-
-Anna had never seen his face changed by any mental agitation, nor was it
-now, save for a touch of weariness and an unwonted pallor. There was a
-deep, sunk glow in his eyes, which, together with the careless sweep of
-the grey hair flung off his forehead, recalled with peculiar emphasis
-the leonine effect Anna had often noticed. The habitual grave composure
-of his manner was in no way disturbed; and although he could not have
-known of her presence in the dispensary, it did not seem to cause him
-surprise.
-
-“Is some one ill at your house?” he asked with evident concern but
-characteristic abruptness. He was one of those few persons who do not
-find it necessary to explain what is self-evident.
-
-“Mr. Burgess is not very well,” Anna replied, hesitating somewhat,
-unwilling to strike another dart into the soreness of his spirit, which
-she felt distinctly, for all his outward firmness.
-
-“I fear,” Gregory said thoughtfully, “that Mr. Burgess ought not to
-remain in Fraternia this winter. I am very much afraid that his health
-will suffer. Both of you deserve a little change,” he continued, with a
-slight smile, the pathos of which Anna felt sharply. “Fraternia is not
-so pleasant at this time of year. Why do you not go North for a few
-months? You would come back to us in the spring—perhaps?”
-
-The apparent carelessness which he wished to convey to this question
-contrasted strangely with the piercing anxiety of the look with which
-Gregory’s eyes searched Anna’s face. She understood the instinctive
-desire to forestall another attack, to take for granted an impending
-blow.
-
-Quietly working at her powders, laughing a little, by sheer effort of
-will, since tears were near the surface, she replied:—
-
-“I could not be spared, Mr. Gregory, this winter. I see you are a little
-disposed to undervalue my services. There are several cases of sickness
-now, and I am vain enough to think I am needed. Besides, you know, I
-love Fraternia. I do not want to go away from home.”
-
-The minor arts of coquetry were all unknown and foreign to Anna, but the
-genius of her woman’s nature and intuition was thrown into the last
-sentence with full effect.
-
-The strong spirit of Gregory, which could meet the assaults and buffets
-of reproach and detraction without shrinking, and which would have
-rejected express sympathy, was mastered for a minute by the delicate
-comprehension and implied fidelity of Anna’s words.
-
-She knew better than to see the momentary suspicion of dimness in his
-eyes, or to note the silence which for a little space he did not care to
-break. When at last he spoke, it was to ask, in a wholly matter-of-fact
-manner:—
-
-“Have I not heard that Mr. Burgess was a particularly successful public
-speaker?” Anna looked up quickly then.
-
-“You may have heard it, for I am sure it is true,” she said. Another
-pause for reflection, and then Gregory said:—
-
-“It is becoming urgently necessary that the purpose and future of
-Fraternia should be promoted by some one capable of going about,
-particularly in the cities, and presenting our aims publicly—before
-audiences of people.”
-
-Anna had gathered up her powders now and put them in her pocket and
-stood ready to go but she stopped, and her face kindled with swift
-recognition and welcome of the thought in Gregory’s mind.
-
-“And you have thought that Mr. Burgess might do this, and so still serve
-the cause and yet do it for a while under easier conditions?” she
-exclaimed. “Mr. Gregory, I cannot tell you how glad I should be if this
-plan could be carried out. I am really a little anxious about my
-husband. I am sure this would work well for every one, and it might
-solve several problems at once.”
-
-He smiled, a little sadly, at her confident eagerness, said they must
-consider it seriously, and then stood aside to let her pass out and go
-home. It was not necessary for him to say, as he bade her good night,
-that he wished it were expedient for him to walk home with her. She
-understood his theory of what was wise for himself in such matters. She
-approved it. Nevertheless, she found it hard to leave him alone just
-then in the deserted mill. Half-way back she met Everett, plodding
-through the mud, with his hands in his pockets, and whistling, to keep
-his spirits up, she fancied.
-
-“Be extra good to Mr. Gregory to-night,” she said, womanlike, unable to
-resist the longing to help, as he paused a moment.
-
-“Why?” he asked, frowning; “have they been at him again?”
-
-Anna nodded and passed on, afraid to say more.
-
-“Fools!” he murmured between his teeth, and plunged on against the wind.
-
-But Anna went home with a beatific vision to soothe her spirit, of Keith
-comfortable at last in a good hotel, with menus and waiters, bells and
-bathrooms, in an infinite series.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXXIII
-
- “Lo, fool,” he said, “ye talk
- Fool’s treason; is the king thy brother fool?”
- Then little Dagonet clapt his hands and shrill’d,
- “Ay, ay, my brother fool, the king of fools!
- Conceits himself as God that he can make
- Figs out of thistles, silk from bristles, milk
- From burning spurge, honey from hornet combs,
- And men from beasts—Long live the King of fools!”
- —TENNYSON.
-
- But yours the cold heart and the murderous tongue,
- The wintry soul that hates to hear a song,
- The close-shut fist, the mean and measuring eye,
- And all the little poisoned ways of wrong.
- —THE RUBAIYAT.
-
-
-Everett had improvised a studio in a low loft over the bachelors’
-quarters, contiguous to the cabin which he and Gregory shared.
-
-It was necessary, he said, for him to get down to hard work now. That
-hedging and ditching nonsense was great sport for a man’s holidays, but
-he had no more time to play; he must paint. The work he had produced in
-Fulham had not been, often, especially salable or popular in its
-character, a certain mystic quality pervading it not readily understood
-by casual observers. All that, he declared, was now to be rigidly
-excluded from his painting; he should paint to sell—cheap, pretty
-things, picturesque, palpable. With this purpose he had set to work with
-a will, and by February had a few hundred dollars to turn over to the
-treasury as the fruit of his industry. His pictures were sold in the
-North through Keith Burgess as intermediary.
-
-He was hard at work in the studio at nine o’clock on a night in
-February, laying in the outline for a bit of the valley which he
-declared he could paint now with his eyes shut, he had done it so often,
-having found it “a good seller,” when he heard Gregory’s step on the
-stairs. That the boy had just brought the mail up from Spalding Everett
-knew, having heard the horse galloping over the bridge, and stopping
-before the house.
-
-Gregory came in now with several letters in his hand, one open. He did
-not speak at first, and Everett let him walk up and down the place
-undisturbed, seeing that he was peculiarly perplexed, probably by the
-open letter, which Everett noticed was in Keith Burgess’s handwriting.
-After a few moments he remarked slowly, but with an unusually incisive
-quality in his tone:—
-
-“Burgess is a singularly prudent little man. Did it ever strike you so?”
-
-“He has some capacity, however, for the opposite quality.” Everett threw
-out this remark with no manifestation of especial interest, and it
-seemed to pass unnoticed.
-
-“Having it in his power,” Gregory continued, with the same incisive
-deliberation, “to extricate us from our whole present difficulty
-himself, with the utmost ease, he yet jogs about the country after a
-comfortable fashion, presenting the subject publicly as occasion offers,
-and sends me back such letters as this.”
-
-Lifting the sheet in his hand, Gregory read from it:—
-
-“I held a meeting last night in Grand Rapids, to which I have been
-working up carefully for over a week through the press, etc. The
-attendance was fair, and the people listened well. I regret, however, to
-be obliged to report that the practical results of the meeting were not
-all that we could have wished—” and dropping the letter, Gregory added:—
-
-“And so on, copiously, through nearly four pages of matchless ambiguity
-and polite phrases, which could all have been condensed to the usual sum
-total of his reports; thus far, nothing!”
-
-“Still, Mr. Gregory, we must remember that he did pretty well for the
-first few weeks.”
-
-“Yes,” said Gregory, nodding a short assent, “while he was covering the
-field which was ready for harvest—seeing the men already committed to
-the cause. We can evidently expect nothing more from him. What kind of a
-speaker is he, Everett?”
-
-“Good, really very good as a special pleader. He had very fair success
-when he was missionary secretary.”
-
-“I wonder at it,” murmured Gregory,—“a mild, prudent little man like
-that with his perpetual fears and scruples; I cannot fancy his ever
-letting himself go.”
-
-Everett, unwontedly sober and silent, worked on. Gregory paced the room
-for a little while. He wanted to ask Everett how Keith’s marriage with a
-woman like Anna could ever have come about, but he could not bring
-himself to frame the question, and presently left the studio.
-
-Hanging about the door below, Gregory found Barnabas Rosenblatt,
-apparently waiting to speak with him.
-
-“Hello!” said Gregory, not unkindly, but shortly. “Do you want me?”
-
-“Well, shust a minit, if Herr Gregory vas not too busy,” and the little
-Jew shuffled along by Gregory’s side until they reached the door of the
-cabin.
-
-Gregory brought his visitor in and gave him a chair, then stirred up a
-smouldering fire and threw on a piece of pine, which, flaring up into a
-sudden blaze, made other light unnecessary. The reflection of the yellow
-flames played weirdly over the walls, and Barnabas seemed unable to
-withdraw his eyes from the picture above the chimney.
-
-“Our lady,” he said simply, nodding across at Gregory, and closing his
-eyes impressively.
-
-“Well, Barnabas, what is it you want?” asked his host.
-
-“It’s our lady,” said Barnabas, sniffing quite vigorously; “das is it.
-How she fall off!” and he shook his head with a slow, mournful motion.
-
-“Fall off what? I do not understand, Barnabas. You are speaking of
-Sister Benigna?” Gregory’s face changed.
-
-“So—so—” and the little man nodded emphatically. “She’s got awful poor!
-Oh, my! Her bones comes right through zu next. My Kleine, she say our
-lady don’t eat notin’s, shust only leetle, leetle milk, an’ work, work,
-work, like a holy angel everywheres at one time, up an’ down the valley;
-sick folks an’ well folks, all derselbe. Light come all place she come!”
-and Barnabas relapsed into meditative silence, having found his
-vocabulary hard tested by this prolonged statement.
-
-“Do you mean that Sister Benigna is sick?” asked Gregory, with slight
-sharpness.
-
-“Ja, ja, Herr Gregory; she has went home sick heut’ abend from the sew
-class down to der mill. When she go, all go. Fraternia ohne Sister
-Benigna,” and the little man drew his shoulders quite up to his ears in
-a characteristic shrug strongly expressive of a thing unthinkable.
-
-Gregory rose, Barnabas following his example.
-
-“I will go over and inquire,” he said, taking his hat, and they left the
-house at once.
-
-The night was cold, a light fall of snow lay over the valley, and the
-stars glittered from a frosty sky.
-
-When they reached the neighbourhood of Anna’s cottage Gregory sent
-Barnabas up to the door, while he waited at a little distance. In a few
-moments Frieda, who now shared Anna’s cabin, joined him, while Barnabas,
-with the action of a waiting watch-dog, humble, and yet with a due sense
-of responsibility, hung about near by. Frieda’s account was reassuring,
-as far as immediate solicitude for Anna was concerned; she had come home
-ill from the afternoon sewing class, and had a chill, headache, and
-fever. She was resting now, and would doubtless be up again in a day or
-two.
-
-“Nothing can keep her down, Mr. Gregory,” Frieda said in conclusion. “I
-am not frightened just now, but we all see plainly that Sister Benigna
-is killing herself by inches. She eats hardly anything, and yet works as
-if there were no limit to her strength. Sometimes I think she is just
-laying down her very life for us here in Fraternia, and we’re not worth
-it,” and with this Frieda’s voice broke a little, and without stopping
-to say more she hurried back.
-
-Gregory bade Barnabas good night hastily, and then, instead of going
-home, he walked rapidly down the rough road to the mill, unlocked the
-door, and went into his office and sat down at his desk. His face had
-changed strangely; it had grown grey and his lips were tightly
-compressed. He sat long in motionless silence, thinking intensely.
-Although he had himself watched Anna with growing uneasiness, the
-suggestions of Frieda and Barnabas came upon him with startling effect.
-He asked himself now with unsparing definiteness whether this was indeed
-the final turn of the wheel of torture on which he was bound, or whether
-he could wait for another. The conviction was upon him, stark and stern,
-that in the end he should yield and seek the one means of escape which
-was still open to him, and which he had been holding off with almost
-dogged resolution. He recalled the shaping of events in Anna’s life
-during the last few months, and his face softened.
-
-Late in November, when Keith went North, she had accompanied him, having
-been sent for by her sister Lucia. Their mother, Gulielma Mallison, upon
-whom age and infirmity had increased heavily, had conceived a
-controlling desire to return to her childhood home, the Moravian town of
-Bethlehem, to end her days. Anna had visited Haran therefore, and had
-brought her mother back to her early home, establishing her there in the
-quiet Widows’ House in peace and satisfaction.
-
-At Christmas, when she returned alone to Fraternia, Anna had seemed to
-bring with her a new infusion of active and aggressive force. Relieved
-of anxiety for Keith, whom she had left in good spirits, and from the
-constant ministration to his comfort, she was now wholly free to devote
-herself to the common good. With new and contagious ardour she had
-thrown herself therefore into the life of the discouraged little
-community, cheering the faint-hearted and rekindling the flagging
-purposes of the fickle. She taught the girls and women quaint fashions
-of embroidery and work on linen which she had learned from her mother,
-and inspired them with the ambition to earn something with their
-needles, thus dispelling their listlessness. She seemed at times to
-possess in her own enthusiasm and courage sufficient motive power to
-energize them all; she worked and moved among them as if no less a task
-had been given her, and with a sweetness and sympathy that never failed.
-
-All who watched her wondered at the power in her, and many who had
-murmured hitherto now declared themselves ashamed, and responded
-willingly. John Gregory marvelled more and more at the qualities of
-brilliant leadership which she now developed. Within him a voice, which
-he could not always silence, sometimes whispered that if such a nature
-as that which had been gradually revealed to him in Anna Burgess, in its
-plenitude of power and its greatness of purpose, could have been allied
-to his own, a movement far beyond what he had even dreamed of in
-Fraternia might have been possible.
-
-But while a certain reënforcement of courage had followed Anna’s strong
-initiative, and while in some respects the domestic conditions of the
-people had been improved and their murmurings for the time partially
-silenced, the gravity of the situation and of the prospects for the
-future as Gregory saw them remained unchanged. Keith’s mission had
-proved unproductive, as the letter just received emphasized afresh.
-Gregory himself could not leave Fraternia at this juncture without
-manifest peril. Only his personal influence now availed to hold together
-many discordant elements which were very actively at work and arrayed
-against each other. From no quarter could he discern any hope of
-substantial support.
-
-And now, last of all, she was laid low; worse, they told him she was
-laying down her life in her devotion to his cause—she, his one
-high-hearted, intrepid, dauntless ally! Bitterly Gregory said to himself
-that she who had freely left wealth and station was starving and working
-to her death to save him from defeat, and all in vain, unless—Should he
-calmly sit by and permit the sacrifice? Great of heart as she was, all
-her work could not avail, nor his, unless aid of another kind could be
-found, and that at once.
-
-And it could be found; of that he had little doubt. To find it he must,
-indeed, make a certain compromise, but it was one which involved only
-himself, his own position,—perhaps, after all, only his own pride. Had
-he not himself preached against the subtle selfishness which underlies
-the passion for individual perfection? Did not the common good and the
-larger interests of his cause call for the sacrifice?
-
-Gregory rose at last and went to the outer door of the mill. It was five
-o’clock of the February morning, and off to the east a faint yellowish
-light was climbing up the sky. The mill pond lay dead in its stillness
-below him; the water fell quietly, stilled with ice, over the dam; the
-valley stretched out white and cold; a mile below was the black belt of
-the forest, and beyond, the dim plain, with the stars shining over. It
-was pure and cold and pitiless. In sky or earth no sign of relenting, no
-suggestion of a gentler day. But Gregory was not looking for signs, or
-reckoning with omens, save the omen which had come unasked and taken up
-its abode in his mind. He was thinking, not of the scene before him, nor
-of the sleeping village behind, nor even of the outline of the future,
-nor of Anna in her pain and patience.
-
-An old story was repeating itself within him of the ancient king to whom
-the sibyl came bringing nine books, which, being offered, he rejected;
-and of how, in the end, it had been the fate of the king to desire the
-three which alone were left, and to obtain them at a threefold price.
-
-Presently the door of the mill was closed, and Gregory returned to his
-desk. There was sternness in his face as he set about writing a letter,
-and self-disdain and humiliation; but he wrote on, and finished the
-letter, which he signed and sealed. Then, without further hesitation or
-pause, he crossed the road to the mill stables, brought out and saddled
-his own horse, a tall roan, fit to carry a man of his proportions,
-mounted it, and rode away down the valley toward Spalding. The letter
-which he chose to mail with his own hand was addressed to Senator
-Ingraham, and it stated briefly that the writer had come to the
-conclusion that his rejection of the generous gift offered him on a
-certain night known to them both was ill advised, and that if the same
-or any part of it were offered him now for the furtherance of his
-coöperative work, it would not be refused.
-
-A week passed, and Anna, protesting that she was as well as ever, had
-returned to her regular round of cares. The only change in her
-appearance was a peculiar whiteness of the tints of her skin, such that
-her face at times seemed actually to emit light. The contrast of this
-whiteness of tint with the masses of her dull, dark hair and the large,
-clear eyes, full of the changing lights which lurk in hazel eyes, gave
-her at this time a startling beauty, startling because it suggested
-evanescence. Most marked, Fraternia people said, was this phase of
-Anna’s appearance on a night near the end of another week, when a large
-company was gathered in the hall over the mill for an entertainment.
-Anna had been much interested through the winter in a series of author’s
-evenings, and this chanced to be the occasion for the closing programme
-of the series. The subject was Lowell, and prose had been read and
-poetry declaimed; the changes rung on all,—humorous, pathetic, and
-patriotic. The little hall was full and the audience eager for the
-closing number, because it was to be given by Anna herself, who had a
-charming gift in rendering poetry.
-
-She had chosen a number of passages from the “Commemoration Ode,” and as
-she stood on the platform with its dark crimson background and drapery,
-dressed, as she was habitually when indoors, in white, her eyes kindling
-as she spoke the noble words of the noblest American poem, the audience
-watched her face with an attention even closer than that with which they
-listened to her voice. This, indeed, showed a slight weakness, but the
-eloquence and energy of her spirit subdued it to a deeper pathos, while
-its impressiveness was most marked when she reached the close of the
-fifth strophe, every word of which to her meant John Gregory:—
-
- “But then to stand beside her,
- When craven churls deride her,
- To front a lie in arms and never yield,
- This shows, methinks, God’s plan
- And measure of a stalwart man,
- Limbed like the old, heroic breeds,
-
- · · · · ·
-
- Fed from within with all the strength he needs.”
-
-She was half-way through the lines when a striking and incomprehensible
-change passed over her. Her eyes dilated, then drooped, her breath
-almost forsook her, and her quiet hands clasped each other hard. She
-continued to speak, but her voice had lost its tone and timbre. Almost
-mechanically she kept on to the close of the part she had selected, but
-those who loved her feared to see her fall before the end. When she
-reached the room behind the stage, the faithful Frieda was waiting to
-receive her.
-
-What had happened? Was it merely that Sister Benigna was still weak from
-her illness? As they broke up, these questions were repeatedly asked
-among the people. Some of them called attention to the fact that while
-she was speaking a stranger had tiptoed into the hall so noiselessly
-that only a few persons had been aware of his coming, but he was a man
-of so singular a physiognomy and an expression so repellent that a vague
-connection was felt to link Anna’s agitation with his appearance.
-
-This man was Oliver Ingraham.
-
-Anna, with Frieda, hurrying out of the mill alone into the blackness of
-the starless and stormy night, and turning homeward, heard steps
-approaching, heavy and hard. Some one passed them. Anna knew only by the
-great height and breadth of shoulder, dimly discerned through the dark,
-that it was Gregory. She stopped, and he turned, catching a glimpse of
-her white face.
-
-“Mr. Gregory,” she said, “Oliver Ingraham is here. What can it mean?”
-
-“Here already!” he cried almost harshly. “I have only this moment
-received a despatch!” and he hastened forward, as if he might yet
-interpose some obstacle to this most unwelcome arrival.
-
-The words in the despatch, crumpled fiercely and thrust into Gregory’s
-pocket, were these:—
-
- “My son will be the bearer of the funds required. Trust you will
- give him the opportunity he desires for study of social problems.
-
- “INGRAHAM.”
-
-It was the first word of reply to his letter which Gregory had received,
-and it was a word which made him set hard his teeth and groan like a
-wounded lion.
-
-“Perhaps it is fair,” he said to himself, as he crossed the bridge; “but
-Ingraham’s Nemesis as the price is a higher one than even I expected.”
-
-Above, in the mill hall, Oliver was mingling with the people who were in
-the habit of remaining together for an hour of social interchange after
-the programme, on these occasions. He quickly found his old townsman,
-Mr. Hanson, who seemed more amazed than rejoiced to greet him in
-Fraternia.
-
-“Stopped over, eh, to see our village?” he asked. “On your way North, I
-suppose?”
-
-“Oh, no,” said Oliver, smiling complacently; “I have come straight from
-home. I have a commission for your czar from my father, and I rather
-look to throwing in my fortunes with you folks. I want to see how this
-experiment works; study it, you know, on all sides. If I like it, I
-guess I shall stay.”
-
-“Oh, really,” said Hanson, a little aghast.
-
-“How are you getting on, anyway?” proceeded Oliver, craftily.
-“Rose-colour washed off yet? Has it been pretty idyllic this winter?
-Say, I should think catering for a crowd up in this valley would be
-quite a job. Don’t get salads and ices every day, I take it.”
-
-Hanson shook his head impatiently, longing to get away from the
-questioner.
-
-“Well,” said Oliver, “I suppose by this time Gregory the Great has
-issued his edicts and made all the poor people rich, hasn’t he? and all
-the rich people poor? That seems to be the method of evening up. I don’t
-wonder the poor fellows like it. Should think they would.”
-
-“You will know better about us when you have been here awhile, Mr.
-Ingraham.”
-
-Oliver nodded cheerfully. “Oh, yes, of course. I am going to take notes,
-you see. Perhaps I’ll write it up by and by,” and he tapped the neat
-note-book which protruded from a pocket of his coat. “Are all the
-sinners saints by this time?” he added.
-
-“Hardly.”
-
-“Well, then, we’ll put it the other way,” said Oliver, with a peculiar
-significance in his high voice, “are the saints all sinners yet?” The
-malicious leer with which this question was accompanied seemed to turn
-it into a hateful insinuation, which Hanson, with all his
-half-suppressed discontent, resented hotly. He was about to make a hasty
-reply when Gregory came up and spoke to Oliver, to whom he held out his
-hand. His manner was as cold as could be with decent courtesy, and when
-Oliver had shaken his hand he passed his handkerchief over it with the
-impulse a man has after touching a slug or a snake.
-
-Oliver noticed the gesture, and rubbed his long white hands together
-reflectively.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXXIV
-
- Look in my face; my name is Might-have-been;
- I am also called No-more, Too-late, Farewell;
- Unto thine ear I hold the dead sea-shell
- Cast up thy Life’s foam-fretted feet between;
- Unto thine eyes the glass where that is seen
- Which had Life’s form and Love’s, but by my spell
- Is now a shaken shadow intolerable,
- Of ultimate things unuttered, the frail screen.
- Mark me, how still I am!
- —D. G. ROSSETTI.
-
-
-It was mid-April and the afternoon of a day of perfect weather, of
-summer rather than spring.
-
-The hills around Fraternia were covered now in sheets of flame-colour,
-white and rose, from the blossoming of the wild azalea and laurel. The
-air was laden with perfume and flooded with sunshine.
-
-It was at the close of the afternoon school when Anna, a company of the
-children with her, started to climb the eastern hill which rose a little
-beyond the mill pond, to gather flowers.
-
-Gregory, from the open window of his office in the mill, watched the
-pretty troop as they threaded their way up the steep path and were soon
-lost to sight in the woods. He heard them speak of Eagle Rock as the
-goal of their expedition,—a favourite point of view, less than a mile to
-walk, and nearly on the crest of the hills.
-
-Anna was dressed in the coarse white cotton of Fraternia manufacture
-which was the usual dress of the girls and women of the village in the
-house and out in dry, warm weather, simply made, easily laundered,
-cleanly, and becoming. Her tall figure, the last to disappear up the
-woodland path, had attracted the eyes of another, as well as of John
-Gregory.
-
-Oliver Ingraham, in these two months grown an all-too-familiar figure in
-Fraternia, finding his way stealthily and untiringly to every favourite
-nook and corner of the valley, had also watched the start from some
-lurking-place. It was half an hour later when Gregory noticed him
-sauntering casually along the foot of the hill, and with an air of
-indifference striking into the same path which Anna and the children had
-taken. Gregory watched him a moment fixedly, his eyebrows knit together,
-and he bit his lip with impatience and disgust. Of late Oliver had shown
-an ominous propensity to haunt Anna, whose dislike of his presence
-amounted well-nigh to terror. More than once Gregory’s watchful eyes,
-which never left Oliver’s movements long unnoted, had observed attempts
-on his part to follow or to overtake her, to seek her out and attach
-himself to her. Invariably Oliver found himself foiled in these
-attempts, although he had no means of attributing the interference to
-Gregory. Thus far the intervention had been accomplished almost
-unnoticeably, but none the less effectively.
-
-The afternoon was a busy one for Gregory. The mill, no longer silent and
-deserted, was running now on full time; and, to the great satisfaction
-of a majority of the colonists, Gregory had withdrawn his scruples
-against selling the products of their manufacture at a reasonable
-profit. He was finding it easier and easier to compromise with his
-initial scruples. It had also become more imperative to try to meet, in
-so far as was reasonable, the demands of the people, since already
-Fraternia had suffered serious defections. A number of substantial
-families had withdrawn earlier in the spring, among them the Hansons and
-the Taylors, who had taken the pretty Fräulein Frieda with them, to
-Anna’s great regret. Others talked of leaving, and, in spite of the
-greater financial easiness, criticism and jealousy were at work in the
-little company at first so united. The almost insuperable difficulties
-attending the experiment had now fully declared themselves.
-
-However, there was plenty of work to do, which was a material relief.
-Gregory glanced now at the pile of papers before him on his desk, and
-then once more through the window at the figure of Oliver, receding up
-the hill. No, he could not run the risk of allowing him to overtake and
-annoy Anna. The work must wait. Taking his hat, he left the mill
-hastily; but, instead of choosing the path behind Oliver, Gregory turned
-and went up the valley a little distance, struck through behind the
-houses, crossed a bit of boggy ground which lay at the foot of the hill
-in this part of the valley, and so mounted the hill below Eagle Rock in
-a line to intercept Oliver before he could overtake Anna, if such were
-his purpose.
-
-There was no path up this side of the hill, but Gregory found no trouble
-in striding through the deep underbrush which would have swamped the
-women and children completely. Soon he reached a point from which he
-commanded a sight of Eagle Rock, and a glance showed him the fluttering
-dresses of the children already on its summit. In another moment he
-dashed up on a sharp climb, for the hill was very steep at this point,
-and reached the path only a short distance from the base of the rock. He
-looked up, but no one was in sight; then down the path, and in a moment
-Oliver came into view walking much more rapidly than fifteen minutes
-before, when he had entered the woods. He slackened his pace as he
-caught sight of Gregory slowly approaching down the path, and sought to
-hide a very evident discomfiture with his evil smile.
-
-“You got up here in pretty good time, didn’t you, Mr. Gregory?” he
-asked, as he reached him. “I saw you, seems to me, in your office when I
-came along. I’ve taken my time, you see. A beautiful day for a walk.”
-
-Oliver’s small green-grey eyes twinkled wickedly as he spoke these
-apparently harmless words, for he saw, or felt, that beneath every one
-of them Gregory’s anger, roused at last, reached a higher pitch. Oliver
-perfectly understood what he was here for.
-
-“I have a word to say to you,” said Gregory, stormily. “You will have to
-stop haunting the women and children, and annoying them with your
-attentions. I speak perfectly plainly, Mr. Ingraham; they are not
-agreeable and they must be stopped.”
-
-“You rule with a rod of iron here, Gregory,” said Oliver, his long
-fingers twining together; “what you say goes. Still, you know, you might
-go a little too far.”
-
-Gregory did not reply, but stood watching him as a lion might watch a
-reptile.
-
-“I am willing to stay in Fraternia, under favourable conditions,” Oliver
-proceeded, with hideous cunning; “but I should think, as I am paying
-pretty well for my accommodations, I ought, at least, to get the liberty
-of the grounds. What do you say?”
-
-“I say, Go, this minute, or I’ll throw you neck and crop down that
-bank,” said Gregory, with unmistakable sincerity, at which Oliver,
-suddenly cowed, and his weak legs trembling under him, faced about
-promptly and retreated down the path. He paused at a safe distance,
-while Gregory’s hands tingled to collar him, and called back, in a loud,
-confidential whisper:—
-
-“You can have her all to yourself this time. That’s all right,” and with
-this he hurried off, his thin lips writhing in a malicious smile, and
-his hands clenched tightly and cruelly.
-
-For a moment Gregory stood still in the path. A dark flush had mounted
-slowly even to his forehead. He was irresolute whether to follow and
-find Anna, or to return directly to the valley. Something in Oliver’s
-ugly taunt acted like a challenge upon him, it seemed, for, turning, and
-catching through the trees the glimmer of Anna’s white dress, he
-hastened on up the path.
-
-He found her sitting on a mossy rock at the foot of the cliff, where
-there were trees and shade and a fair view of the valley, and the blue
-billowing sea of the mountain ranges beyond. Her strength and colour had
-returned with the out-door life of the spring, and she looked to-day the
-embodiment of radiant health. Greatly astonished at Gregory’s
-appearance, she yet welcomed it with unaffected gladness, starting to
-rise from her low seat with the impulses of social observance which she
-could not quite outgrow even in the wilderness; but he motioned to her
-to sit still. All around her the children had flung their branches of
-laurel and azalea, running off to gather more and bring her, and the
-delicate suffusion of colour made an exquisite background to the
-picture. The picture itself, Gregory thought, Everett ought to have
-painted for a Madonna; for in Anna’s lap leaned a sturdy, fair-haired
-boy, with a cherub face, a child of less than four years, his head
-thrust back against her shoulder as he looked out from that vantage
-ground with serene eyes at Gregory, while Anna held one round little
-hand in hers and looked down upon the child with all the wistful
-fondness of unfulfilled maternal love.
-
-“Do not smile,” said Gregory, with affected sternness at last, as she
-glanced up from the child to him with a questioning smile, expecting
-some explanation for his presence here; “I have come this time to scold
-you.”
-
-“O dear!” said Anna, with a gay little laugh of surprise. “My turn has
-come!”
-
-“Yes, your turn has come,” he continued gravely. “Do you not know that
-when you come away on such long, lonely climbs as this, even with the
-children, you give us anxiety for you, and trouble? I have had to come
-all this distance to take care of you.”
-
-Anna shook her head, much more puzzled than penitent.
-
-“What is there to be troubled about?” she cried.
-
-Gregory did not answer at once. He found it impossible to make mention
-of Oliver in her presence. He fixed his eyes on the little child, who
-was on his knees now, by Anna’s side, pouring out into her white dress a
-small handful of scarlet berries, and letting them run like jewels
-through his fingers, laughing to see them roll.
-
-“Do you not know,” he began again, very slowly, “that we fear for your
-strength, for your endurance, upon which you will never, yourself, have
-mercy?”
-
-Anna began to protest a little, her colour deepening at some vague
-change in his tone and manner.
-
-“Do you not know,” he continued, not heeding her interruption, “that you
-are the very heart of our life, here in Fraternia? that we all turn to
-you for our inspiration, our hope, our ideal? Should we not guard you,
-since without you we all should fade and fail?”
-
-Never before had Anna heard this cadence of tenderness in Gregory’s
-voice, nor in the voice of man or woman; the whole strength of his
-protecting manhood, of his high reverence and his strong heart, was in
-it, but there was something more. What was it? A tremor ran through
-Anna’s heart. Could she dare to know? She lifted her eyes at last to
-meet his look, and what she read was what she had never dreamed of,
-never feared nor hoped—the supreme human love which a man can know.
-Reading this, she did not fear nor faint nor draw her own look away, but
-rather her eyes met his, full of awe and solemn joy; for at last, in
-that moment, her own heart was revealed to itself.
-
-“O Anna!—O Benigna!”
-
-Gregory spoke at last, or rather it seemed as if the whole deep heart of
-the man breathed out its life on the syllables of those two names.
-
-In the silence which followed Anna sat quite quiet in her place, the sun
-and the soft shadows of the young oak leaves playing over her face and
-figure. The child still tossed his red berries with ripples of gleeful
-laughter over the whiteness of her dress, and not far away could be
-heard the busy voices of the older children as they ruthlessly broke
-away the blossoms from their stems. And in the sun and shade and the
-stillness Anna sat, while wave after wave of incredible joy broke over
-her spirit. For the first time in her life she knew love, knowing it for
-what it was. She had not asked to know it, nor mourned that she had
-missed its full measure, nor dreamed that it could yet be hers; but it
-had come, not stayed by bonds nor stopped by vows. It was here! The man
-whose strong spirit, in its freedom and power, had cast its spell upon
-her mysteriously even before she had seen his face save in a dream,
-loved her, with eyes to look like that upon her and that mighty
-tenderness! Life was fulfilled. Let death come now. It was enough!
-
-The moment, being supreme in its way, was not one to leave room for
-outward excitement, for flutter and trepidation. Anna rose now from her
-place with perfect calmness, and bent to take the little, laughing child
-by the hand, while she went to call the others together. Gregory had
-turned away slightly, and with his arms crossed over his breast was
-leaning hard against the rugged wall of the cliff, his head thrown back
-against it, his face set, his whole aspect as of some granite figure of
-heroic mould, carved there in relief. Anna heard a sound like a groan
-break from his lips, and turning back, with an irresistible impulse,
-laid her hand, light as a leaf, upon his arm.
-
-From head to foot Gregory trembled then.
-
-“Don’t,” he said sternly, under his breath.
-
-“What is it?” asked Anna, confused at his sudden harshness.
-
-“It is the end,” he said, with low distinctness and the emphasis of
-finality.
-
-Then, only then, did Anna waken to perceive that what in that brief
-moment of joy she had taken for glory, was only shame and loss and
-undoing, unless smothered at the birth.
-
-An inarticulate cry broke from her then, so poignant, although low, that
-the little child, pulling at her dress, began to cry piteously. She
-stooped to comfort him, gave him again the hand which she had laid on
-Gregory’s arm, then, turning, walked slowly away.
-
-Gregory made no motion to detain her or to follow, but stood as she left
-him, braced against the rock. Anna gathered her little flock, and they
-hastened down the hill in a gay procession, with the waving branches of
-April bloom, and the merry voices of the children. Only Sister Benigna,
-as she walked among them, little Judith noticed, was white and still.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXXV
-
- Then fell thick rain, plume droopt and mantle clung,
- And pettish cries awoke, and the wan day
- Went glooming down in wet and weariness;
- But under her black brows a swarthy one
- Laugh’d shrilly, crying: “Praise the patient saints,
- Our one white day of Innocence hath past,
- Though somewhat draggled at the skirt. So be it.”
- —TENNYSON.
-
-
-At nine o’clock that evening Barnabas Rosenblatt, working around the
-mill stables, was startled at the sudden appearance of Gregory, who
-passed him without speaking, as he went hurriedly into the stall and
-brought out his horse. The day had been followed by a night of brilliant
-moonlight, and Barnabas saw, as distinctly as if it had been day, that
-his face, usually firm and composed, was drawn and haggard to a degree.
-He started to speak to him, but an imperious gesture of Gregory silenced
-him. Without a word Barnabas therefore assisted him in saddling the
-horse, and then stood perplexed as he watched him gallop away down the
-valley in the moonlight.
-
-Straight on through a narrow bridle-path which led by a short cut
-through the stretch of oak wood to the little hamlet of Spalding,
-Gregory galloped. He had reached the outskirts of the woods, and was in
-sight of the level meadows and the cluster of lights of the village
-beyond, when he suddenly perceived the figure of a man on foot
-approaching him from the direction of Spalding. A few steps more, and
-Gregory saw, with surprise and strange perturbation, that it was Keith
-Burgess. He reined up his horse and stood motionless, until Keith had
-reached him, and called out a greeting as he stood in the path, looking
-a pigmy beside the Titanic proportions of the horse and rider. The
-moonlight showed Keith more thin and wan than ever. He had returned to
-Fraternia once before this spring, in March, but, after a week, had been
-glad to go back to Baltimore, with some rather vague commission. His
-return at this time was wholly unexpected, even by Anna.
-
-Keith had long since come to stand to Gregory for something like a
-concrete embodiment of his many disappointments and vexations, by reason
-of his lukewarm participation in his own purposes, his ineffective
-labours, and his continual draft upon Anna’s sympathies. As Gregory
-looked down upon him, thrown at this moment so unexpectedly in his path,
-a singular hardness toward the man came upon him, for he was hard beset
-by passion; and while he meant to have no mercy upon himself, he was not
-in the mood to have mercy upon another man, least of all, perhaps, upon
-Keith.
-
-“You are going back to Fraternia?” he asked coldly, his tone striking
-Keith with chill surprise. The latter assented as a matter of course.
-
-There was a moment of silence; Keith felt something sinister in the
-nature of it.
-
-“Why should you go back there?” Gregory asked now, with the same
-careless coldness; “you have no heart in Fraternia or its purposes.”
-
-Keith was stirred, and answered pointedly:—
-
-“I have at least a wife in Fraternia, Mr. Gregory.”
-
-Gregory looked at him a moment with a measuring glance, noting his
-wasted and feeble appearance.
-
-“I suppose you do need nursing,” he said slowly.
-
-Keith Burgess turned ashy pale. Was this wanton injury? Did Gregory wish
-to insult him? What did it mean? Gregory did not know himself. He knew
-only that, in the agony of that night, for he had fully resolved himself
-to see Anna no more, the sight of Keith Burgess worked like madness in
-his brain.
-
-“Mrs. Burgess,” he said now, with the deliberation of strongly
-suppressed excitement, “is more highly endowed for great issues than any
-person I have ever known. It is almost a pity that she should not have
-freedom to use her powers in the greater activities to which she is
-fitted.”
-
-Each sentence, cruel with all the cruelty which the climax of pride and
-passion could inspire, pierced the heart of Keith like a shaft barbed
-with steel. He stepped backward and leaned against a tree, breathing
-hard. The occult, mysterious quality of the moment’s experience to him
-was that he saw himself, distinctly and as if by an inexorable
-necessity, turning away from Fraternia, and going back by the way which
-he had come.
-
-Without another word, Gregory tightened his rein and galloped on, out
-through the wood’s edge and so down to the plain. He did not see, in the
-high excitement of the moment, the figure of a man lurking stealthily
-among the trees at no great distance from where Keith stood. When the
-sound of the horse’s hoofs had died away, this figure stepped softly out
-from its shelter and passed along the bridle-path, peering inquisitively
-in the face of Keith as he still stood where Gregory had left him. But
-neither did Keith observe him, nor care who he was, and so he went on
-his way toward Fraternia. He looked back once or twice. His last look
-showed him that Keith had gathered himself together and was walking
-slowly away, in the direction from which he had come.
-
-Keith walked blindly on, not knowing why he went, nor where he went,
-like a man who has suffered a heavy blow upon his brain, and moves only
-automatically without thought or will. On the outskirts of the village,
-near the railroad, he passed a barn, rickety and disused, but there was
-old hay in a heap on the floor of it, it offered shelter, and shelter
-without the contact with others from which he shrunk as if he were in
-disgrace, and fleeing for his life. Accordingly Keith went into this
-place, drawing the broken door together as far as he could move it on
-its rusty hinges, threw himself on the heap of hay, and slept until five
-o’clock in the morning. The one passenger train of the day passing
-through Spalding eastward was due at five o’clock. Keith was wakened by
-the long whistle announcing its approach, and came dizzily out into the
-chill and wet of a miserable morning.
-
-The train slowed down as it neared the place where he stood. He swung
-himself upon it with the brief but tense nervous energy of great
-exhaustion, sank into a vacant seat in the foul, unventilated car, and
-was carried on, whither he did not know or care.
-
-Anna, coming back from the walk to Eagle Rock, had gone to her own house
-alone. Here she spent the earlier hours of the evening in the deepest
-travail of soul she had ever known. The purity and unworldliness of all
-her life, both the life of her girlhood and that with Keith, had served
-to keep far from her familiarity with possibilities of moral danger. She
-was as innocent of certain kinds of evil as a child, and the thought
-that a temptation to a guilty love could assault her would, until this
-day, have appeared to her incredible. And now, in the fierce struggle of
-this passion, the only one she had ever known, she knew herself not only
-capable of sin, but caught at last in its power.
-
-Not that for a moment she dreamed of any compromise of outward fidelity;
-such a thought she rejected with horror as inconceivable either to
-herself or to Gregory, whom she firmly believed to be far stronger than
-she. But the flaw in faithfulness had come already, beyond recall,
-beyond repair. Her whole soul moved toward this man, who had so long
-secretly dominated her inner life, with a mighty and overwhelming tide.
-
-Her relation to Keith had been that of gentlest consideration,
-kindliness, and affection. More it had never been; and to-night it
-seemed as powerless to stay the flood of passion as a wall of sand built
-on the shore of an infinite sea by the hands of a child.
-
-So Anna thought, so she felt. She went to the door of her cabin with
-this thought mastering her, driven by restlessness, and longing to feel
-the coolness of the night air on her face. For a moment she stood in her
-open door, and saw mechanically that the moonlight was shed abroad in
-the valley; she heard the voices of the men across the river singing in
-a strong, sweet chorus.
-
-Then, suddenly, as if the words had been spoken in her ear, the thought
-came to her, “But Keith needs me; he needs me now!”
-
-What was it? She did not know. She never understood. The sense was
-strong upon her that Keith was near her; that he was in some danger, and
-needed her.
-
-Without pause to consider what she did, Anna flew down the river path
-and reached the mill breathless. The pond lay in the moonlight,
-motionless. The air did not stir. The mill was still and dark and
-deserted. The woods were dim with their night mystery. She looked down
-the valley, and up, and across the river, and everywhere was perfect
-peace, save in her own heart. Then in the silence she heard a step
-approaching from the direction of the woods below. She drew back hastily
-into the protection of the mill porch and waited for the steps to pass.
-Whoever it was paused for a little time above the mill, and Anna’s heart
-beat hard with a sense of dread and danger. Finally she heard the steps
-pass on, and when she returned to the road she recognized the
-unmistakable figure of the man now moving on in the unshadowed moonlight
-to the bridge above. It was Oliver Ingraham.
-
-Slowly Anna returned to her own cottage, not daring to do otherwise, a
-heavy oppression on her heart.
-
-Early in the morning, which was cold and rainy, Oliver was at her door,
-and she answered his summons herself, full of a vague, trembling
-anxiety. He scanned her face narrowly; it was careworn and hollow-eyed,
-for she had slept not at all.
-
-In silence he handed her a letter, broken at the edges, and soiled with
-long carrying about. She glanced at the address. It was Keith’s, written
-by herself perhaps a month before; not a recent letter. She looked at
-Oliver in speechless perplexity.
-
-“I found that lying on the ground down near Spalding last night,” he
-said, still eying her craftily, and with that hurried off, giving her
-not another word.
-
-Anna went in, closed the door, and drew out the letter. It was
-unimportant, insignificant, simply an ordinary letter of wifely
-affection and solicitude, but one which had evidently been much read,
-being worn on the folds. Who could have carried it save Keith himself?
-Had he, then, been really near her the night before? Was he really
-coming?
-
-Anna knew already that it was for this she longed supremely.
-
-Noon brought to Everett a special messenger with a letter from Gregory,
-who brought with him also the roan horse ridden the night before to the
-county town, C——, and evidently ridden fiercely. At C—— was the bank
-where Gregory transacted all his business. This letter stated, first of
-all, that he had suddenly reached the conclusion that it was important
-and imperative that he should go at once to England in the interests of
-the colony. He should not return to Fraternia before sailing. He wished
-to empower Everett to act in his place during his absence, which would
-not be for more than three months.
-
-Various items of business were enumerated, and the letter closed with
-this remarkable statement: “The funds furnished by Mr. Ingraham of
-Burlington have been returned to him with the exception of the five
-thousand dollars already used, which I shall restore at my earliest
-opportunity. This removes the obligation from us of counting Mr. Oliver
-Ingraham as one of our number, and I beg that you will signify to him my
-conviction that his continued presence in Fraternia is impossible. Do
-not allow him to stay a day if you can help yourself, and keep him under
-your eye while he remains.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXXVI
-
- I said farewell;
- I stepped across the cracking earth and knew
- ’Twould yawn behind me. I must walk right on,
- ... Fate has carried me
- ’Mid the thick arrows; I will keep my stand,
- Not shrink and let the shaft pass by my breast
- To pierce another: oh, ’tis written large
- The thing I have to do.
- —GEORGE ELIOT.
-
-
-The following morning Anna sent for Oliver. Word had reached her that he
-was about to leave Fraternia. In the depth of her present distress and
-perplexity a thought which “had no form, a suffering which had no
-tongue” had arisen. Gregory, she knew, had left the village hastily that
-night under stress of powerful emotion, perhaps in a condition of mental
-excitement exceeding his own control. It seemed to her possible that
-somewhere on the way from Fraternia to Spalding he might have
-encountered Keith. The letter brought by Oliver indicated, she was more
-and more convinced, that he had really been on his way to her. If this
-were true, some event had interposed, something had occurred to hinder
-his coming. What could it have been, supposing him to have been but two
-miles away, save some mysterious, unthinkable effect of an interview
-with Gregory, if such there had been? It was no longer possible, no
-longer justifiable, to await events. She must herself discover all that
-Oliver knew, even if the discovery were to mean despair.
-
-Alone, in her own cabin, she received Oliver. If Keith had been in
-Fraternia, or John Gregory, it would not have been permitted; but her
-intense anxiety and suspense overbore her usual shrinking from contact
-with the man, and Everett yielded to her wish to see him alone.
-
-Oliver entered the cabin, noting its simple appointments with his
-characteristic curiosity. Anna pointed to a chair which he took,
-although she herself remained standing. Her face was as white as her
-dress, her eyes deeply sunken, her manner sternly imperious.
-
-“You are going away from Fraternia to-day?” she asked, with swift
-directness.
-
-“Yes,” said Oliver, nodding with his peculiar smile; “this precious
-demigod or demagogue—whichever you please—of yours, your imperial
-Gregory, has issued a ukase against me, in short, has done me the honour
-to banish me from the matchless delights and privileges of Fraternia!”
-The last word was spoken with a slow emphasis of condensed contempt.
-
-“There is something really a little queer about it,” Oliver continued,
-in a different tone. “I am on to most of what happened between my father
-and Gregory, but I’ve missed a link now somewhere. You see, the
-governor, in a fit of temporary aberration, offered Gregory a
-magnificent contribution for his socialist scheme down here; but Gregory
-was pretty high and lofty just then, and, ‘No, sir,’ said he—I heard
-him, though he and the governor don’t know it—‘No, sir, I couldn’t touch
-your money. I am just that fastidious.’ The governor had been confessing
-his sins to Gregory, the worse fool he! It seemed that his money had
-come to him in a way that might make some men squeamish, and Gregory,
-oh, dear, no! he wouldn’t have touched those ill-gotten gains as he was
-feeling then—not with the tip of one finger.
-
-“But the joke is,” Oliver went on, “that he had to come to it. Oh, yes;
-he got down on his marrow bones to the governor here about three months
-ago, and wrote to him that he had reconsidered the matter, and saw his
-mistake,” and Oliver gave a low chuckle; “so the governor had to come
-down with the lucre, more or less filthy as it was, and I don’t think he
-was quite so much in the mood for it either as he was at the first, to
-tell the truth. But he sent it all the same, and sent me with it, don’t
-you see? I came as the saviour of Fraternia, although I have never been
-so recognized. The whole town has been run the last month or two on
-Ingraham money, and it seems to have greased the wheels about as well as
-any other money, for all I see. But now comes the unexpected! Off goes
-Gregory to England, sends back the governor’s check, so I hear from
-Everett, and kindly writes me to take myself off. What brought him to
-that is what I don’t quite see through yet.”
-
-“I have no doubt,” said Anna, concealing her dismay at Oliver’s malign
-disclosure with a manner of cold indifference, “that Mr. Gregory had
-good reasons for thinking it better for you to return to Burlington.”
-
-“You’re right there,” retorted Oliver, quickly; “oh, yes, he had
-excellent reasons, the best of reasons. A man who knows too much is
-often inconvenient, you know.”
-
-“Mr. Ingraham,” Anna asked hastily, apparently ignoring this insinuation
-although she trembled now from head to foot, “I am not interested in the
-business relations of your father and Mr. Gregory. It was not to hear of
-them I sent for you. You brought me a letter yesterday which I think
-must have been not long ago in my husband’s possession. I wish you to
-tell me if, on the night when you found this letter, that is the night
-before last, you saw my husband in the neighbourhood of Fraternia?”
-
-“Oh, yes,” replied Oliver, as if it were quite a matter of course; “were
-you not expecting him?”
-
-“Where did you see him?” The question came quick and sharp.
-
-“Well,” said Oliver, reflectively, “you would like me to be exact, I
-suppose. Let me see, how shall I describe the place so that you will
-recall it—distinctly.”
-
-There was a certain cold deliberation in the articulation of these words
-which gave them a sickening cruelty. They called up strange visions of
-dread and dismay to Anna’s tortured imagination.
-
-“Speak more quickly,” she commanded, rather than asked, “the precise
-spot makes no difference.”
-
-“It was near the edge of the woods, on the Spalding side, that I saw him
-first. The night was quite bright with moonlight, if you remember. I had
-taken a stroll down to Spalding myself for some of those little luxuries
-which Fraternia doesn’t furnish, and was on my way back when I first
-noticed Mr. Burgess. He was just striking into the path, there by that
-dead oak tree; you may remember it. I noticed it because it stood out so
-white in the moonlight, and it was just at the foot of it that I picked
-up that letter. I did not know that he had dropped it, nor whose it was
-until after I got home.”
-
-“Undoubtedly false,” thought Anna; “you had not had the chance to read
-it, that was all,” but she did not speak. Oliver too was silent, as if
-he had answered her question, and was done.
-
-“Please go on.” Anna kept her patience and control still.
-
-“Oh!” exclaimed Oliver, as if surprised, “you want to hear more, do you?
-All right. I guess likely I’m the only man that can tell you, being the
-only witness, in fact.”
-
-“Witness of what?” Anna cried importunately.
-
-“Well, that’s it. That’s what I’ve asked myself more than once since
-that night, and I rather guess as good a description as I could give
-would be to call it a kind of moral murder; a moral murder,” and Oliver
-repeated the phrase as if gratified by the acuteness of his perception
-in forming it.
-
-He watched her face closely, and beginning to fear from the bluish shade
-which tinged her pallor that Anna would soon be released from his power
-to torture by unconsciousness, hastily took another line.
-
-“Oh, you’ve nothing to worry about, Mrs. Burgess, nothing at all. That
-was just a little fancy of mine, just my metaphorical way of stating
-things. It was a very simple little incident, nothing which need affect
-a man unpleasantly in the least. It just happened, you see, that Gregory
-was galloping down the path toward Spalding, and he met your husband,
-and they had a little talk together,—a mere quiet conversation for a few
-moments,—and Mr. Burgess seemed to change his mind about going to
-Fraternia just then, and turned back toward the village. That was all. I
-watched him a little, to be sure he didn’t need any help, you know,
-afterward. Gregory galloped right along; he was going to catch a train,
-I suppose, at C——, and that made him in something of a hurry, of
-course.”
-
-“Why should my husband have needed help, Mr. Ingraham? Will you be good
-enough to explain yourself clearly, and in as few words as possible?”
-Anna spoke more calmly now, but her eyes were like coals of fire.
-
-“Certainly, certainly. I cannot repeat Gregory’s language, not
-literally, but it seemed to cut Mr. Burgess up a good deal at the
-time,—at least I fancied so. That is what I meant by that little simile
-of mine awhile ago. He’s all over it now, of course. It was only a few
-words anyway. Just that Gregory said, in that short way he has once in
-awhile—Probably you’ve never heard him; he wouldn’t be apt to speak so
-to you,” and Oliver decorated the sentence with one of his most
-insinuating smiles.
-
-“Mr. Gregory said—?” Anna asked, looking into his face with an
-unflinching directness, before which Oliver’s eyes wandered nervously.
-
-“Why, he seemed surprised that Mr. Burgess should be coming back so
-soon, and he gave him to understand that a man like him, who was sick
-all the time, and not much of a Fraternian, either, was rather a drag on
-such a woman as you, don’t you see? and it might be fully as well if he
-should keep away and give you your freedom most of the time.”
-
-“Did my husband make any reply that you heard?” asked Anna, huskily,
-this hideous distortion of unformulated traitor thoughts which had
-lurked in the background of her own consciousness confronting her now to
-her terror, and her heart doubly sick with the loathing of being forced
-to ask such information from such a source.
-
-“He said you were at least his wife, I remember that. I guess that was
-about all. It struck me at the time that there was something in what he
-said, with all due respect for Gregory. He rules everything here, of
-course, though, I suppose,—even to the relations between husbands and
-wives.”
-
-The last words were lost upon Anna.
-
-“You may go now, if you please, Mr. Ingraham,” she said calmly. Her look
-and an unconscious gesture of dismissal were imperative, and Oliver, not
-daring to disobey, left the place without another word.
-
-For two days Anna sat alone and in silence, waiting for the summons
-which she knew by a sure intuition must come.
-
-Oliver’s story had been confirmed in so far that it had been learned
-that Keith had been seen in Spalding on the night of Gregory’s
-departure, and had been known to take an east-bound train on the
-following morning. Nothing further was discovered regarding his
-movements, and it was useless to try to follow and find him. Anna could
-only wait.
-
-When the message came it was, as she had known it would be, urgent and
-ominous. Keith was in Raleigh; he was very ill; she must go at once.
-
-Everything was ready, and with a strange composure and quietness as of
-one carrying out a line of action fully foreseen, Anna went on her
-journey, so like and yet so unlike that other journey to Keith which she
-had taken in her girlhood, ten years before. That had ended in their
-marriage. How would this end?
-
-Reaching the city in the afternoon, Anna was driven with the haste she
-demanded to the address named in the message which had come, not from
-Keith himself, but from a physician. It was not that of a hotel, as she
-had expected, but of a boarding-house of very moderate pretensions in a
-quiet street. Even the small details of the place, in their cheap
-commonness, smote her heart. Was it in places like this that Keith had,
-after all, been living, instead of in the well-appointed hotels in which
-she had always fancied him?
-
-The landlady, a kindly, careworn woman, plain of dress and of speech,
-received Anna with a mournful face, but forebore explanations, seeing
-that it was time rather for silence, and led her down a long corridor to
-the door of a dim and silent room.
-
-There was a little stir as Anna stood in the open door; the physician
-came out and spoke to her, and she saw a nurse sitting quietly by a
-window. But Anna did not know that she saw or heard them; her sense took
-in only her husband, with eyes closed and the shadow of death upon his
-face, lying upon the strange bed in this place of strangers.
-
-She was by his side and his hands were in hers, when presently he opened
-his eyes. Seeing her, a sudden light of clear recognition illuminated
-his face, a triumphant ray of joy and satisfaction. He tried to speak,
-but could not, but Anna felt the faint pressure of his hand.
-
-Once more his lips moved, and Anna saw rather than heard the words:—
-
-“Good-by, darling,” and with them the same look of ineffable love and
-peace. Then his eyes closed and he sank again into unconsciousness.
-
-The physician, leaning over, said softly, “He will not rouse again. This
-was most unexpected. He has been unconscious since morning.”
-
-The end came soon after midnight, unconsciousness falling into death
-without pain or struggle.
-
-Of the days which followed Anna could never recall a distinct or
-coherent impression. Detached scenes and moments alone lived in her
-memory.
-
-She knew that Everett was there and that they started for Fulham.
-Somewhere on the way Professor Ward met them, and Foster, the old family
-servant. Nothing seemed strange and nothing seemed natural; all passed
-to her as in a dream.
-
-She was at Fulham; she remembered afterward that she sat in the library
-which Keith had longed for so, and his body lay beside her, below the
-mantelpiece where she had so often seen him lean. The old servants,
-hastily summoned for the occasion, went and came, and looked at her, she
-thought, with eyes of cold respect and mute reproach. Then Everett stood
-there, and she saw that tears were on his face as he looked upon his old
-friend, but she did not cry. Only when Everett turned toward her she
-said, very simply, with a motion of her hand which signified all that
-the place meant:—
-
-“Keith gave his life—for me.” Then Everett had looked at her as if
-alarmed at what he saw in her face, and had gone out hastily and sent
-some woman to her, whom she did not want.
-
-The incidents of the funeral seemed to pass by unnoticed. She remembered
-the moment at the grave when at last she fully realized that this was
-the end. Then she was at the Fulham railroad station, and Professor Ward
-had come to her on the train and had held her hands strongly in his, and
-had said with urgent emphasis:—
-
-“You must always remember that Keith’s physician and all his old friends
-believe that his life was prolonged rather than shortened by your living
-in the South. Do not for a moment dwell on the opposite thought.”
-
-She had felt her dry lips tremble then and her eyes grew dim, but she
-did not speak. The train had moved out soon, and she knew that kind eyes
-watched her, but she could not meet their look.
-
-Of the journey down into the West to her mother that night she
-remembered nothing, save that the incessant jar of the train seemed to
-follow in a rhythmic endless repetition the familiar refrain of the old
-passion hymn,—
-
- “Was ever grief like mine?”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXXVII
-
- From the unhappy desire of becoming great;
- _Preserve us, gracious Lord and God._
- —_Old Moravian Liturgy._
-
- There is a time when religion is only felt as a bridle that checks
- us, and then comes another time when it is a sweet and penetrating
- life-blood, which sets in motion every fibre of the soul, expands
- the understanding, gives us the Infinite for our horizon, and makes
- all things clear to us.—LACORDAIRE.
-
-
-On the quiet street of the hill town of Bethlehem stands the quaint and
-ancient building set apart in the Moravian economy as the Widows’ House.
-
-In the interior of the old stone house, with its massive walls and rows
-of dormer windows, are wide, low-ceiled halls, and sunny, sweet-smelling
-chambers, clean and orderly, chaste and simple, as those of a convent.
-Here in mild monotony and peace the women of the “Widows’ Choir” live
-their quiet life, and here in September we find Anna Burgess, who had
-fled to this haven of her mother’s abiding-place, as to a sanctuary.
-
-The evening was warm, and the windows of Gulielma Mallison’s room were
-open to the sunshine and the sweet air. Flowers blossomed in the deep
-window-sills; the bare floor was as white as scrubbing could make it;
-the appointments of the room were cheerful and refined, albeit homely,
-and the atmosphere was that of still repose. By the window Gulielma
-Mallison sat knitting, her face beneath its widow’s cap calm and strong
-in its submissive sadness. Opposite her on the sofa lay Anna, each line
-of her face and figure expressing the suffering of a stricken heart.
-There had been months of slow, wearisome illness and of grievous mental
-suffering, in which her days had been a Purgatorio and her nights an
-Inferno; and now weeks of convalescence, which were bringing life back
-into her wasted frame, still failed to bring healing to her mind.
-
-The mother’s fond eyes, glancing unperceived across her knitting, noted
-the listless droop of the long white hands upon the white dress, the
-marblelike pallor of the forehead from which the hair was so closely
-drawn, the hollow cheeks, the piteous sadness of the mouth, the glassy
-brightness of the eyes, fixed in the long, still gaze of habitual
-introspection.
-
-“Surely,” sighed Gulielma Mallison to herself, as she had before a
-hundred times, “there is more than the bitterness of death in her face;
-widowhood alone to the Christian brings not such havoc as this. It is in
-some place of danger that her thoughts are dwelling. I should fear less
-for her if she could only speak!”
-
-But Anna’s grief could not find its way to words. How could her mother,
-in her sober, ordered existence, her decorous and righteous experiences
-of life and love and death, comprehend what it was to live with shadows
-of faithlessness, even of blood-guiltiness, for perpetual company? For
-to Anna’s thought Keith had been driven to his lonely death by the
-hardness of Gregory, by words which had issued from the white heat of
-his passion for her, a passion unrebuked by her,—nay, rather, shared to
-the full. Was she then guiltless of her husband’s death?
-
-Not for a moment could Anna divide herself from Gregory in
-responsibility for the action which Oliver had characterized as “moral
-murder.” Unsparingly just to herself, she bore to the very limit of
-reason all the fellowship which was imposed upon her by the mastery of a
-love so long lived in its unconsciousness and silence, so soon cut off,
-once perceived and acknowledged. It has been said that “all great loves
-that have ever died, dropped dead.” Anna’s mighty passion had been
-stillborn, slain by the words which had sent Keith on his dim way to
-death. For she had never doubted that Oliver’s rehearsal of the scene in
-the woods between Gregory and Keith had been substantially true. She
-knew there had been spiritual violence done, and her soul recoiled from
-the very strength and power which had once enchained her. Something of
-diabolical pride seemed to her now to invest even the austere morality
-of Gregory. He would have spurned a yielding to the weakness of the
-flesh, his moral fastidiousness would have made it impossible; but he
-fought the fire of love fiercely with the fire of pride, not humbly with
-the weapons of prayer. No shield of faith nor sword of the spirit had
-been his in the hour of temptation, for all his high ideals, but the
-sheer, elemental force of human will. He had conquered, or rather had
-grappled with, the one passion; but the very force by which he had
-conquered turned again and conquered him, and his very power became his
-undoing.
-
-Beside this conception of Gregory which had now taken possession of
-Anna’s mind, Keith’s gentleness, his faithful, patient life, above all,
-the greatness of the silent sacrifice which he had made for her sake
-when he embarked on the Fraternia adventure, became sacred and heroic.
-She saw at last what his leaving his normal life had been; she believed,
-as she had said to Everett, that he had literally given his life for
-her, and the sense of his devotion, so little understood, so scantily
-recognized, wore ceaselessly at her heart. Her one drop of balm was the
-memory of Keith’s last smile of triumphant love and faith; the bitterest
-drop in her Cup of Trembling that not one last word had been given her
-to show her by what paths his soul had fared, and whether thoughts of
-peace had lightened his sufferings. Having loved her, he had loved her
-to the end,—this only she knew. His faithfulness had not failed.
-
-Words which her father had spoken to her shortly before his death,
-vaguely comprehended at the time, haunted her now, “_With greatness we
-have nothing at all to do; faithfulness only is our part._”
-
-If only she had earlier discerned their meaning!
-
-Such shape did these two men take to Anna now; the one who had moulded
-all her outward life and touched her inner life hitherto so faintly, the
-other who had mastered her in her innate longing for power and freedom,
-and controlled her inner life for many years: Keith seemed to her now
-like some spirit of gentle ministration, humble, faithful, undefiled;
-Gregory, like some proud spirit, even as Lucifer, son of the morning,
-who had said, ‘I will ascend into heaven,’ but who had been brought down
-to hell, dragging with him all that was highest and holiest. And she had
-thought him so different! Like another, her heart would cry out:—
-
- “I thought that he was gentle, being great;
- O God, that I had loved a smaller man!
- I should have found in him a greater heart.”
-
-Once, some weeks earlier, there had come to her a brief note from
-Gregory, written soon after his return to Fraternia. It said only:—
-
-“I have sinned deeply, against God; against him; most of all against
-you. I cannot even venture to ask you to forgive. I can only say to you,
-the penalty is wholly mine to bear. You are blameless.”
-
-Having read the note, Anna threw it into the fire, and wrote no word in
-return.
-
-And for herself—?
-
-There was no softness of self-pity in Anna’s remorse. Dry and tearless
-and despairing, she saw herself, after long years of spiritual
-assurance, of established and unquestioned righteousness, overwhelmed at
-last by sin; not by the delicate and dainty and inconclusive discords
-which religious experts love to examine and analyze, but by a gross
-ground-swell of primitive passion, linking her with men of violence and
-women of shame.
-
-Looking back upon her girlhood, Anna thought with sad self-scorning of
-her young desire for “a deeper sense of sin.” It had come now, not as
-the initial stage in a knowledge of God, and of her relation to him, but
-as a tardy revelation of the possibility of her nature, undreamed of in
-her long security. The cherished formulas of the old system, its measure
-of rule and line applied to the incalculable forces of the human spirit;
-its hard, inflexible mould into which the great tides of personal
-experience must be poured, seemed to lie in fragments about her now,
-like wreckage after a storm. She remembered that Professor Ward had once
-spoken to her of her inherited religious conceptions as terrible in
-their power to mislead, to deceive the heart as to itself; she saw the
-danger of a belief founded not on infinite verities, but on a narrow
-mediæval logic. She knew sin at last, and knew that it was not slain in
-the hour of spiritual awakening.
-
-She thought of the night preceding her union with her father’s church,
-and the recoil of nameless dread with which she had seen passing under
-her window the village outcast whom she supposed to be incredibly guilty
-and cut off from fellowship with all who, like herself, were seeking
-God. And it was that very night that she had first dreamed of the mighty
-personality, the embodiment of power and greatness, which she had
-thought to find in Gregory. Though late, she now clearly perceived that
-in no human being could that ideal of her dream find full manifestation.
-
-Such thoughts as these were passing behind the pale mask of Anna’s
-pain-worn face, which her mother’s eyes were watching. The impress of
-suffering which they gave was hard to see, and a long involuntary sigh
-escaped Gulielma Mallison’s lips.
-
-Anna looked up with eyes as sad as those of Michel Angelo’s Fates.
-
-“Mother dear,” she said, her voice strangely dulled from its former
-clear cadence, “why do you sigh? Do I make you unhappy?”
-
-“I cannot comfort you, Anna Benigna,” said the mother, sorrowfully. “It
-is for that I sigh.”
-
-“No,” Anna said slowly, her eyes falling again from her mother’s face;
-“you cannot do that, no one can. No one lives who can comfort your
-child, mother.”
-
-“I have often thought, Anna, that you may have suffered,” the mother
-ventured almost timidly, “as many others have, from the sad mistakes so
-common to people who regard the Christian life and the married life as
-ends, instead of beginnings.”
-
-Gulielma noticed a slight quickening of interest in Anna’s eyes, and
-went on thoughtfully, with her simple philosophy of life:—
-
-“To read the books that are written, and to hear the things that are
-said, young people can hardly help supposing that when they become
-Christians they will know no more of sin, and when they are married they
-will have only joy and perfect union. To my way of thinking, these wrong
-ideas are responsible for a great deal of needless unhappiness. The
-Christian life is really a school, with hard discipline and harder
-lessons. As for marriage—”
-
-“Well,” said Anna, as her mother paused, “as to marriage?”
-
-“It may be a crown,” said Gulielma, slowly, “but it is sure to be in
-some measure a cross. It is a testing, a trial, a discipline, like the
-rest of life. Only, whether it happens to be happy, or happens to be
-hard, it is equally to be borne faithfully and in the fear of God.”
-
-There was silence for a little space, and then a laughing voice in the
-street outside, called:—
-
-“Mrs. Mallison!”
-
-Gulielma rose and stepped to the window, looking out over the crimson
-and purple asters into the street. A young girl who stood there handed
-her up a letter.
-
-“I don’t know whether it belongs to Mrs. Burgess or not. The address has
-been changed so many times, but the postmaster said I was to ask you.”
-
-“Very well,” was the answer, and as Gulielma turned back, a letter in
-her hand, she found Anna sitting up, leaning upon her elbow, her eyes
-strangely eager. She held out her hand, not speaking, and received the
-letter. The upper line, which struck her eyes instantly, was her own
-name, and it had been written by Keith. She could not be mistaken. The
-mother’s anxious eyes saw every trace of colour ebb away from Anna’s
-face and lips, and then stream back until the faint flush rose to her
-forehead. She had not stopped to decipher the many addresses written
-below, crossed and recrossed by many pens, but, seeing her own name
-written by the dear dead hand, she pressed the letter hard against her
-heart and so lay a moment, silent.
-
-Soon she looked up and met her mother’s eyes. A wistful, heart-breaking
-request was in her own, which she hardly dared to speak.
-
-“May I be all alone, mother?” she asked faintly; “my letter is from
-_him_. It has gone wrong, but it has come to me, you see, at last. In
-the morning I will see you. I will tell you then—all.”
-
-In another minute, the door quietly closing, Anna found herself alone.
-Breaking the seal, she saw that the letter had been written three days
-before Keith’s death. An error in the original address, doubtless due to
-his exhaustion, had sent it far astray. The letter said:—
-
- MY OWN ANNA,—I am here in Raleigh in a comfortable house, and with
- kind people, but I fear that I am very ill, and that the end is now
- not far away, and I want you as soon as you can come to me. I hope
- there will be no need of alarming you with a telegram, for I know
- that you will start as soon as this reaches you, and that will be in
- good time.
-
- Do not think that this crisis is sudden and unforeseen. The
- physician in Baltimore told me plainly that I could have but a short
- time to live, and when I knew that I hastened to reach you as
- quickly as I might. It was for you only, Anna, in all the world that
- I longed. I believed that a few weeks of quietness were for us, not
- harder than we could bear, being together.
-
- I think you will know that something turned me back almost at my
- journey’s end. John Gregory is honest, and he will tell you, if
- indeed he knows himself.
-
- I do not know now what he said to me, I do not care to remember.
- Whatever it was it should have had no weight, being spoken, I know,
- under some strong excitement, but with it there went that strange,
- irresistible influence which Gregory exerts over me, and before
- which I was, or seemed to myself, powerless. I felt his will was for
- me to go back, not onward to you, and I yielded as if unable to do
- otherwise. I do not know, I cannot understand. I wish it had not
- been so, but rather for him than for myself, for I know that in his
- higher mood the thought of that night must be hateful to him.
-
- I want to say now while I can that neither you nor he must look upon
- these events in a way to exaggerate or overemphasize their
- importance. I can see that you with your sensitive conscience and he
- with his great moral severity may judge over hardly. The difference
- to me has not been great. The end was very near, and is not
- hastened, and I shall see you yet before it comes. If I had not been
- weak I should have kept on my way. It was my weakness that sent me
- back rather than the outward compulsion.
-
- I shall not want to talk of this when I see you, Anna, and so I will
- write to-day some things which have come to my mind this winter, for
- I have come to see many things in a new light.
-
- John Gregory loves you. I do not blame him for that, nor wonder. “We
- needs must love the highest when we see it.” He is a man of great
- power and of the highest spiritual ambition. He is far nearer to you
- in ability than I; he could enter more deeply into your purposes and
- sympathize in fuller measure with your intellectual life. I believe
- you could have loved him, if you had been free, and that the union
- of two such natures would have been nobly effective for good. But I
- found you first, and with my fond dream that a sign was given me,
- won you for my wife. What then?
-
- It fell to my part, although not of my own will, to give your life
- the shape it has taken. Sometimes I see plainly that I, a poor,
- pale, colourless fellow, wholly beneath both you and John Gregory,
- have maimed both your lives, so much stronger and more potential
- than mine could ever be.
-
- And yet, Anna, for all this I cannot wish the past undone. I claim
- you wholly, heartily, for my own, and whatever the future may hold
- for you, and however the past has tried you, I believe in your love
- for me, and in the union of our spirits. My heart is at rest. My
- trust in you is absolute and beyond hurt or harm, and all the joy my
- life has known has come through you, my true and faithful wife.
- Never doubt this if you love me and would honour my name.
-
- I wish to lay no hint of limitation or direction upon your future.
- Wherever you go, the dear Lord will go with you, and you will bring
- peace and consolation. You cannot go astray, nor your work be
- brought to naught, for God is with you. All that I have is yours
- without reserve or condition, beyond the few legacies I have named
- in a letter to my lawyer in Fulham. Use what was ours together
- freely wherever you will, whether to establish Fraternia, or in any
- line of effort which appeals to you. My keenest regret is that
- heretofore I have withheld from you what you desired. Forgive me.
- Those scruples look small and mean to me to-day.
-
- Good night, my Anna—my Benigna, my highest grace and blessing.
-
- Do not think of me as left comfortless. I am not alone. The King is
- at the door, and I hear his voice. He has even come in and will sup
- with me and I with him.
-
- Let his peace be upon us both.
-
- KEITH.
-
- * * * * *
-
-It was morning.
-
-Entering her room, Gulielma Mallison found Anna fully dressed, standing
-in a stream of sunshine, with a brighter light than that of the sun upon
-her face.
-
-“Oh, mother!” she cried, stretching out both her hands, “I can live. I
-can sleep. I can even cry now. Oh, these tears! how they have fallen
-like rain on a thirsty ground. See, mother; after all I am young still
-and strong. Feel my pulse, how full it is this morning, how strong and
-steady! I am at peace. The peace of God has come to me at last. Keith
-has comforted me.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXXVIII
-
- Tolerant plains, that suffer the sea and the rains and the sun,
- To spread and span like the catholic man who hath mightily won
- God out of knowledge and good out of infinite pain
- And sight out of blindness and purity out of a stain.
- —SIDNEY LANIER.
-
- While we are not to forget that we have fallen, we are not always to
- carry the mud with us; the slough is behind, but the clean, clearly
- defined road stretches ahead of us; skies are clear, and God is
- beyond. We were made for purity, truth, and fidelity, and the very
- abhorrence of the opposite of these qualities bears testimony that
- our aspirations are becoming our attainments. The really noble thing
- about any man or woman is not freedom from all the stains of the
- lower life, but the deathless aspirations which forever drive us
- forward.... Better a thousand times the eager and passionate fleeing
- to God from a past of faults and weaknesses, with an irresistible
- longing to rest in the everlasting verities, than the most
- respectable career which misses this profound impulse.
-
- —ANON.
-
-
-It was Easter morning in Bethlehem. The stars still shone in the sky,
-and the little town lay in the hush and stillness which precede the
-earliest dawn, when suddenly, far off, like a whisper from the sky, the
-tones of the trumpets could be heard announcing the risen Christ.
-
-Down through the quiet streets passed the solemn choir, the trombones
-blowing their deep-breathing melody in full and thrilling power. They
-stopped for a little space upon the bridge, and as their herald choral
-swelled and grew and filled the air, lights came out in visible response
-here and there throughout the sleeping town; and as they passed on down
-the streets, under the starlit sky, groups of men and women joined them
-in quiet fashion until the procession grew to a great though silent
-throng.
-
-From the Widows’ House Gulielma Mallison and Anna came out and stood
-together for a moment in the dusk, watching the approaching stream of
-people as it moved forward in the gloom, and listening to the strains of
-music which called to their ears:—
-
-“Rise, heart; thy Lord is risen!”
-
-Soon the procession had reached their door, and, joining it with humble
-gladness, mother and daughter followed with the rest, greeting their
-friends and neighbours in simple, heartfelt kindliness.
-
-The church was reached, and within it a solemn service was begun, and
-continued until the brightening of the eastern sky gave token of the
-sunrise. Then, as with one accord, and with the quietness of dear and
-familiar custom, the great congregation streamed out into the twilight
-of the early dawn, and, again forming in procession, moved forward up
-the winding hill to the cemetery, the choir with the pastor leading the
-way.
-
-It was an early spring, and on the air was the thrill of awakening life.
-As she stood in the midst of the reverent throng now waiting, as if
-expectant, in the still churchyard, Anna felt the deep significance of
-the time as it had never been given her to feel it before.
-
-Again the trombones poured forth their deep, yearning music in the
-ancient Easter hymn, the people singing in full chorus:—
-
- “Amen! Come, Lord Jesus! Come, we implore thee;
- With longing hearts we now are waiting for thee;
- Come soon, O come!”
-
-Then followed, in slow, rhythmic chant, the noble words of the old
-Moravian liturgy:—
-
- “This is my Lord, who redeemed me, a lost and undone human creature,
- purchased and gained me from all sin, from death and from the power
- of the devil;
-
- “Not with gold or silver, but with his holy, precious blood, and
- with his innocent suffering and dying;
-
- “To the end that I should be his own, and in his kingdom live under
- him and serve him in eternal righteousness, innocence, and
- happiness;
-
- “So as he, being risen from the dead, liveth and reigneth world
- without end.”
-
-With awe and joy came back the great volume of the response:—
-
- “_This I most certainly believe._”
-
-“Keep us, oh Lord,” came then the prayer, “in everlasting fellowship
-with those of our brethren who since Easter Day have entered into the
-joy of their Lord and with the whole Church triumphant, and let us rest
-together in thy presence from our labours.”
-
-The sun rose. The quiet God’s Acre was gilded with its misty beams, and
-the pale opal tints of the morning clouds reflected its glory. From the
-whole assembly burst forth the mighty hallelujahs of the hymn of praise,
-borne up by the deep diapason of the trumpets:—
-
-“The Lord is risen. He is indeed risen.”
-
-As Anna came out of the churchyard in the sunrise light, the peace of
-God was in her look, and the victory of the Resurrection morning shone
-in her eyes.
-
-Hardly had she reached the street, when some one who had stood, awaiting
-her coming, put out his hand and greeted her. It was Pierce Everett.
-
-“I saw you in the churchyard,” he said. “I wish to speak to you now, if
-I may.”
-
-Anna welcomed him with quiet gladness, and they walked on together
-through the street, until they were beyond the crowd. Then Anna asked:—
-
-“Do you come from Fulham?”
-
-“Oh, no,” was the answer, “from Fraternia, or from what was Fraternia.
-My home is there now, and will be.”
-
-“I did not know,” Anna said simply, not finding it easy to say more.
-
-“There is little left there now of the old village or of the old life.
-Even the name is gone. They call it Gregory’s now.”
-
-“I heard that the land had gone into the hands of the man who held the
-mortgage.”
-
-“Yes, it is all gone now; all except the bit of ground that Mr.
-Gregory’s house stands on. The house and land we have kept for our own.”
-
-“And there you live alone? Are all the others gone?”
-
-“Nearly all. Some stay and work in the cotton mill, which has been
-enlarged, but the cabins are mostly used now by the coloured people who
-work the land, and are employed also in the mill.”
-
-They were silent for a moment, and then Everett said:—
-
-“We have heard that you are going soon to India. Is it true?”
-
-“Yes, I go next month.”
-
-“As a teacher?”
-
-“Yes, partly, but I am also to be connected with a hospital. You know
-that is work which I have always liked, and this is to be a new
-hospital, bearing my husband’s name.”
-
-Everett was silent, and Anna noted as she had not before the profound
-sadness of his face. Presently he looked at her with undisguised anxiety
-and asked a question which she had already begun to dread.
-
-“Would you be willing to see Mr. Gregory before you go?”
-
-A painful change passed over Anna’s face.
-
-“I cannot,” she replied quickly; “it is not necessary. Is he here, Mr.
-Everett? Did he come with you?” and he noticed that she trembled and
-lost colour.
-
-“No,” he answered very gently; “do not be troubled. He is not here. He
-will not seek to find or follow you. He will never leave Fraternia
-again.”
-
-Her eyes questioned his face, for it was impossible not to detect some
-melancholy significance in his words.
-
-“Mr. Gregory has received a severe injury,” Everett went on, as if in
-answer to her look. “It was a month ago. He was at work with the
-lumbermen up in the ravine. He was working midway of the river, which
-was unusually high, and he slipped and fell. Before he could get to his
-feet, a heavy log which was carried forward very swiftly by the current
-struck him with tremendous force and stunned him. We were near enough to
-reach him almost immediately, but the blow was on the spine, and it
-produced instantaneous paralysis. He will never walk again.”
-
-Swift changes had passed over Anna’s face. In a softened voice she
-said:—
-
-“How strange, how very terrible. Is he himself in other ways?”
-
-“Perfectly. His mind was never clearer nor more active. I think he was
-never stronger in spirit. His body is a magnificent wreck, that is all.”
-
-“And he does not wish to leave Fraternia?”
-
-“No, I think nothing could suit him so well as our little stronghold in
-the solitude there. He does not mind the changes even, as one would
-expect. There is no bitterness. He is too large-minded for that. He
-acknowledges himself defeated, but his faith is still strong in his
-cause.”
-
-“And how about yourself?”
-
-“I am with him, heart and soul,” Everett answered, with strong emphasis;
-“nothing could take me from him now,—unless my presence ceased to be
-acceptable to him. He is, in spite of all that has passed of failure and
-defeat, my leader, and will be to the end. He is imperfect, being human;
-perhaps there are men least in the kingdom of heaven who are greater
-than he. Nevertheless, he is the bravest man I have ever known and the
-most sincere,—I would almost add, the humblest. So we live on together.
-He writes, I paint. Barnabas takes care of the house for us, and little
-Judith gives us the touch of womanhood we need to humanize us. An oddly
-assorted family perhaps, but we are satisfied.”
-
-Anna listened with intense eagerness to every word, and found sincere
-satisfaction in the simple picture which Everett had thus drawn for her.
-
-“And you have come to Bethlehem—” Anna hesitated, and Everett took up
-the word quickly.
-
-“I have come all the way from Fraternia to ask you to go back with me
-and see John Gregory once more. He may live for a number of years, but
-it is hardly probable that you ever will see him again. He asks this as
-the greatest kindness you can do him, but he told me to say that, if you
-do not feel that you can go, he will still be perfectly sure that you
-are doing right.”
-
-Something in the new note of humility, of submission, in the implied
-finality of the request, most of all the vision of the strong man in his
-present helplessness and acknowledged defeat, wrought powerfully upon
-Anna’s resolution.
-
-They walked on silently for some moments, and then, turning abruptly to
-retrace her steps into the town, Anna said:—
-
-“Yes, I will go with you. We will start to-morrow morning.”
-
-It was late on Tuesday afternoon when they reached the valley. As they
-drove past the mill Anna gave a sudden exclamation of dismay as she
-caught a passing glimpse of a well-remembered figure which she least
-expected to see again in Fraternia.
-
-“That could not be Oliver Ingraham,” she cried, “and yet no other man
-could look like him.”
-
-“It was Oliver himself,” said Everett, smiling a little.
-
-“How can it be? What has happened?”
-
-“To begin with, I should tell you that Mr. Gregory succeeded in paying
-back, even to the last dollar, Mr. Ingraham’s contribution.”
-
-Anna’s face grew brighter.
-
-“I am glad,” she said.
-
-“Yes, it was better, I am sure. But when this was accomplished a sense
-of compunction seized him toward Oliver for some fancied harshness in
-the past. Six months ago he sent for him to come if he would, and he
-appeared promptly. Mr. Gregory had conceived the idea that something
-better could be made of the man under right influences, and he
-determined to make the attempt.”
-
-“Can you see any change?” asked Anna, still incredulous.
-
-“It was rather hopeless for a time, only that he so evidently, for all
-his former spleen and spite, came to have a regard for Mr. Gregory,
-himself, approaching worship. But when the accident happened up in the
-woods and he saw Mr. Gregory helpless as he is now, it seemed to produce
-an extraordinary change in the fellow. He is softened and humanized in a
-marvellous degree. He can never be wholesome exactly to ordinary
-mortals. I sometimes think he is a snake still, but a snake with its
-poisonous fangs drawn. Yes, Mr. Gregory has made it possible to hope for
-good even from Oliver.”
-
-“Only a great nature could have made that possible,” said Anna,
-musingly.
-
-“Yes,” responded Everett, “and only then a great nature which had
-learned obedience by the things which it suffered.”
-
-Anna was silent. This action of Gregory’s seemed very great to her, so
-wholly was it in opposition to his deep, instinctive antipathy toward
-Oliver. This man had seemed to embody in himself the evil forces which
-had entered Fraternia to destroy all of highest hope and purpose with
-which it had been established. And now Gregory had stooped to lift up,
-even to draw to himself, the man in all his hideous moral ugliness.
-Idealist as Anna had ever been, she saw in the nature thus revealed to
-her, in spite of failures and falls, a more robust virtue, a higher
-spiritual efficacy, than any of which she had known or dreamed. Again
-she found herself convicted of a too narrow and partial view of the
-working of the human spirit in her passionate withdrawal from Gregory in
-his time of temptation.
-
-They had crossed the bridge now, and up the wooded slope Anna saw
-Barnabas and little Judith standing before the door of Gregory’s cabin.
-With simple and unaffected delight they welcomed her, and then suffered
-her to enter the house alone.
-
-When the door had closed behind her, Barnabas came up quietly and took
-his place upon the rude steps which his hands had laid, and so sat,
-throughout the interview, as one self-stationed, to keep guard.
-
-The interior of the cabin was as it had always been, with its rude
-furniture and its one picture, save that a broad and capacious couch
-covered with leather stood with its head just below the south window. On
-this couch, with a rug of grey foxskin thrown over his limbs, lay John
-Gregory, his head and shoulders propped high, his powerful hands lying
-by his sides with their own expression of enforced idleness.
-
-He lifted his head as Anna entered, and leaned forward, raising his
-right hand in a pathetic salutation of reverence and gratitude.
-
-Overcome by the new and more august repose of his face and by the pathos
-of his look and gesture, Anna crossed to where Gregory lay, and fell
-upon her knees by his side, her tears bathing his hand, although this
-she did not know.
-
-For a space neither spoke nor moved. Then, as she rose from her knees,
-Anna said under her breath:—
-
-“Life is greater than I thought.”
-
-“Life is great,” returned Gregory, “because we live in God.” Then he
-asked humbly, all the fire of his earlier habit of speech quenched,—
-
-“Do you then forgive me?”
-
-“Yes, I have forgiven you,” she said softly. “I could not until, months
-after my husband’s death, a letter came to me from him, which had been
-lost long in reaching me. It was so noble, so great, so reconciling,
-that it sufficed for all—even that,” she added, with unsparing
-truthfulness. Then, even more gently:—
-
-“It is altogether from him that I am here to-day. I could never have
-seen you again if it had not been for that letter.”
-
-“Then I owe to him the greatest mercy of my life,” said John Gregory,
-solemnly, “and it is fitting that I should. He was a gentler man than I,
-a better man. I did not rightly appreciate him when he was among us.”
-
-“He had no noisy virtues,” Anna said. “I think none of us perceived
-fully what he was until he was gone.”
-
-Then with great delicacy she told Gregory all that the letter had
-brought of reconcilement, and especially the word to him. He heard it in
-brooding silence, and his face grew very calm.
-
-“I wanted you to know,” Gregory began after a long pause, “that my
-feeling toward you has not been evil or base or wholly selfish. From the
-time I first saw that picture,” and he pointed to that above the
-fireplace, “you became to me a kind of religion. You stood to me for the
-absolute purity of my ideal, untainted by self and sin and even sorrow.
-That picture gave you to me as a virgin soul in the first dawning of a
-great and noble expectation. It was a picture which a Galahad might have
-worshipped. But alas! I was no Galahad.
-
-“I was bringing the picture back to this country, and it happened,
-although you never knew it, that I crossed on the same ship with you.”
-
-“How could it have been,” cried Anna, “that I never saw you?”
-
-“I was with my East London people in the other part of the ship. But I
-used often to see you with your husband and with the many friends who
-always made a circle about you, and I fancied I saw a change in your
-look,—a change which betokened a gradual dimming of your higher vision,
-a fading of your ideal. I thought the people about you were changing you
-to their own likeness in some degree, and the thought haunted and
-disturbed me more than I had a right to let it.
-
-“I came to Fulham with the picture, which I had promised to return to
-Everett. When I reached his house late in the evening, his mother
-received me and told me that he and ‘all the world’ were at a great
-reception at your house. She further told me that your husband’s mother
-had confided in her her hopes and her confidence that a new era of
-social leadership was now before you, and added that you were indeed
-already quite ‘the fashion’ in Fulham’s aristocratic circle.
-
-“I had hardly an hour in Fulham—hardly a moment to reflect. I acted on
-my impulse and sought you and called you out from your brilliant
-company. You know what I said. My motive was pure, I think, whether the
-action were well judged or ill. When I saw you before me in that brief
-interview, in your loveliness, and in the docility which underlay your
-frank and candid joy, a strange impulse arose in me to gain some
-spiritual control over you, to have an essential influence over your
-thinking and to direct your development and your activity as I believed
-would be noblest and best.
-
-“Naturally I had no opportunity to carry out such an impulse for a long
-period, but I think it never left me. When I saw you that night in the
-audience at Burlington, I knew that you would go to Fraternia. I
-determined in my own heart that if it could be right, you should. There
-was no thought then or for many months that anything could arise between
-us which could impair our faith and duty. Indeed, I never knew myself
-that it was you who had wholly mastered me rather than I you, until that
-day on Eagle Rock. When I left Fraternia that night, I knew all—to the
-very depth. I understood the blindness and tyranny of my passion, and I
-left, meaning never to see you again. Benigna, I did not have it in my
-heart to do you wrong, least of all to do wrong to your husband. It was
-the suddenness of his coming before me, and the struggle I was myself
-undergoing, which threw me at the moment into a kind of still frenzy of
-evil impulse. Gladly would I have died to atone for it.
-
-“Now, looking back, I almost think I can see that I was permitted, so
-far as my individual life was concerned, to reach some climax of pride
-and passion, that I might be brought low in my humiliation. Perhaps in
-no other way could I have learned the way of the Cross than through
-seeing the failure of my own strength, in which God knew, I see now, I
-had taken an unconscious pride.
-
-“There is nothing left of it. No drop of the wormwood and gall has gone
-untasted. But I believe solemnly to-day in the forgiveness of sins, and
-rest in a good hope of salvation through our Master, Christ.”
-
-Again silence came between them, a silence which was full of peace, and
-then, with something of his old abruptness, Gregory said:—
-
-“And now you will tell me about your going to India. You are glad to go;
-so much I understand.”
-
-“Yes,” Anna replied, “it is a great fulfilment. I have lived a whole
-round of life since I first felt the call to this service, and now I
-come back to it with a purpose and conviction even deeper than those
-which first inspired me.”
-
-“Then the larger hopes of final destiny do not, in the end, weaken the
-missionary motive, you think?”
-
-“Oh, no. That fear belonged only to the time of transition. The message
-I have now is a far mightier and a more imperative one than I had at
-first. I know something now of the reality of sin and its terrible
-fellowship, and at least far more than in those old days, both of law
-and of love. I have learned also a greater reverence for man as well as
-for God.”
-
-“Yes,” he said quietly; “it is true. You have been in training for your
-work.”
-
-“I am gladder than I can tell you,” continued Anna, “that I was withheld
-from going out on such a mission with the hard and narrow message which
-was all I had then to give. It was you, Mr. Gregory, who opened to me
-the great truth of the unity of the race, you who taught me to see that
-‘redemption is the movement of the whole to save the part.’ I share the
-burden of sin and suffering with all my fellow-men, and I simply seek to
-lift that burden so far as I may where it presses most sorely. Can there
-be any doubt that this is where Christ is not known,—among pagan
-nations?”
-
-John Gregory thought for a moment before he replied. “I believe you are
-right,” he said finally. “The needs there are grosser than here, and
-they are actual and intolerable; inherent in the system, not artificial.
-You have the gift of high ministry. You used it without stint for our
-people here in Fraternia, but the issues were inadequate to your powers;
-for the conditions were, after all, abnormal, being produced voluntarily
-rather than by necessity.”
-
-“Then do you feel, Mr. Gregory, that the message of brotherhood, of
-equality, cannot be spread by such means as we tried in Fraternia?” Anna
-asked timidly, and yet without fear.
-
-“I believe that such isolated, social experiments, for many years at
-least, will be as ours has been, premature and ineffective. They are
-symptoms rather than formative agencies. They have significance as such,
-but are otherwise unproductive.
-
-“I have not learned this lesson easily,” he added with a faint return of
-his rare smile, and the swift, strong gesture with which he had always
-been wont to dash the hair from his forehead. Anna knew without words
-that in the fall of Fraternia his dearest hopes, his most cherished
-plans, and highest pledges had fallen too. It was not necessary to open
-the old wound that she should know his pain.
-
-“There are more steps between the clear perception of a condition and
-the application of remedial measures than I supposed before I started
-our colony here. I was in a hurry, but God seems to have plenty of time.
-There must be years, generations, perhaps—I sometimes fear it—centuries
-still of education and training before men understand that they are not
-created oppressors by the grace of God, nor oppressed by the will of
-God. I read this the other day,” he continued, taking a book from the
-table beside him; “it will show you what I mean: ‘When a man feels in
-himself the upheaval of a new moral fact, he sees plainly enough that
-that fact cannot come into the actual world all at once—not without
-first a destruction of the existing order of society—such a destruction
-as makes him feel satanic; then an intellectual revolution; and lastly
-only a new order embodying the new impulse.’
-
-“That is good,” he commented, laying the book down, “but what is said
-there in a few sentences may, in actual fulfilment, require several
-centuries.”
-
-“It is hard to wait,” said Anna.
-
-“Yes, it is hard,” Gregory repeated, his eyes resting on her face with
-that sympathetic response to her thought which, she was startled to
-find, could still stir the old warm tremor in her heart; “but I can
-wait, can’t you? You can if you believe, as we are bound to believe, in
-a ‘divine event toward which the whole creation moves.’ I believe, I
-thank God, also, that, unworthy and powerless as I am in this marred
-soul and destroyed body of me, I can still hope, still work, still greet
-the unseen and expect the impossible.”
-
-They talked long, and Anna rose at last to go.
-
-“Oh, you will be leaving now!” John Gregory cried, as if he had
-forgotten that she did not belong to Fraternia.
-
-“Yes,” Anna said gently, “I am to return to Spalding in an hour for the
-night, and I start home from there in the morning.”
-
-“Yes,” he said, “that is right. You must go;” but with the thought all
-colour left his face, and his breath came hard and fast. She saw the
-physical change in him then. She had hardly seen it before.
-
-“Can I help you? Can I bring you anything you need?” she asked quickly.
-
-He pointed to a glass on the mantel, and said, smiling faintly:—
-
-“It is so new to make others wait on me. It is not quite easy to lie
-here and submit to be served,—even by you, Benigna.”
-
-As she brought him the glass, the simple act of service bore with it a
-peculiar power of suggestion and produced upon Anna herself an effect
-far beyond its apparent importance; for, as she thus served Gregory in
-his helplessness, a wave of yearning compassion and pure womanly
-tenderness broke over her heart. He would lie here for years, perhaps,
-prostrate, defeated, suffering, and she who had so loved him would go
-her way and leave him alone and uncomforted! Could it be right?
-
-Before the imperious power of this question all other motives lost their
-significance.
-
-Gregory had recovered from the sharpest effect of his agitation, and
-raised his eyes again, full of patient and quiet sorrow.
-
-“Tell me,” she cried low and breathlessly, “shall I stay? I said I
-wished only to go where was most need of me. Is it here? Oh, I trust you
-wholly now, John Gregory! If you need my service, I will serve you while
-we both live.”
-
-Then, as they faced each other with looks of solemn question, Anna saw
-into the depth of the man’s strong spirit, and she was prepared for what
-would follow.
-
-“That might have been,” he said very slowly, and as if he were
-pronouncing his own doom, “even that unspeakable joy; but I myself, my
-child, made it impossible. Do you no longer see the great gulf fixed
-between you and me?”
-
-He was holding both her hands now, and his own were firm and steady, but
-his face reflected the stern agony of the moment, while that of Anna was
-white as death. A throbbing silence filled the room, and all the air
-seemed to vibrate with the fierce pulsations of their hearts, for in
-both the cry arose that their punishment, self-inflicted, was greater
-than they could bear.
-
-Then calmness fell, for as with one consent their eyes met again, and
-each perceived the light of a final spiritual conquest, and the shadow
-of an ultimate renunciation.
-
-Again, as once before, John Gregory said, “It is the end,” and thus,
-most quietly, they parted.
-
- * * * * *
-
-It was evening when Anna left Fraternia. As the road entered the woods
-where the valley widened to the plain, she turned and caught a last
-glimpse of the solitary light which shone from the lowly house on the
-river’s farther side.
-
-Through all the years and changes which remained to her, never did Anna
-lose the vision of that light, shining apart in the high valley. But
-John Gregory she never saw again.
-
-
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber’s note:
-
- 1. Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling.
-
- 2. Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed.
-
-
-
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-<h1 class="pgx" title="">The Project Gutenberg eBook, A Woman of Yesterday, by Caroline Atwater
-Mason</h1>
-<p>This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States
-and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no
-restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it
-under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
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-located in the United States, you'll have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this ebook.</p>
-<p>Title: A Woman of Yesterday</p>
-<p>Author: Caroline Atwater Mason</p>
-<p>Release Date: October 22, 2020 [eBook #63526]</p>
-<p>Language: English</p>
-<p>Character set encoding: UTF-8</p>
-<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WOMAN OF YESTERDAY***</p>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<h4 class="pgx" title="">E-text prepared by Richard Tonsing<br />
- and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br />
- (<a href="http://www.pgdp.net">http://www.pgdp.net</a>)<br />
- from page images generously made available by<br />
- Internet Archive<br />
- (<a href="https://archive.org">https://archive.org</a>)</h4>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<table border="0" style="background-color: #ccccff;margin: 0 auto;" cellpadding="10">
- <tr>
- <td valign="top">
- Note:
- </td>
- <td>
- Images of the original pages are available through
- Internet Archive. See
- <a href="https://archive.org/details/womanofyesterday00masoiala">
- https://archive.org/details/womanofyesterday00masoiala</a>
- </td>
- </tr>
-</table>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<hr class="pgx" />
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<div class='titlepage box'>
-
-<div class='box'>
-
-<div>
- <h1 class='c001'>A Woman of Yesterday</h1>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-<div class='box'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div>BY</div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='xlarge'>CAROLINE A. MASON</span></div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='small'>AUTHOR OF “A MINISTER OF THE WORLD,” “THE MINISTER OF CARTHAGE,” “A WIND FLOWER,” ETC.</span></div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='small'>“<em>There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification.</em>”</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='box'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
- <div class='nf-center'>
- <div>NEW YORK</div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='large'>DOUBLEDAY, PAGE &amp; CO.</span></div>
- <div class='c003'>1900</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c004'>
- <div><span class='small'><span class='sc'>Copyright, 1900, by</span></span></div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='small'>DOUBLEDAY, PAGE &amp; COMPANY</span></div>
- <div class='c002'><span class='small'><em>Norwood Press</em></span></div>
- <div><span class='small'><em>J. S. Cushing &amp; Co.—Berwick &amp; Smith</em></span></div>
- <div><span class='small'><em>Norwood Mass. U.S.A.</em></span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c005'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Our share of night to bear,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Our share of morning,</div>
- <div class='line'>Our blank in bliss to fill,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Our blank in scorning.</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Here a star, and there a star,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Some lose their way.</div>
- <div class='line'>Here a mist, and there a mist,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Afterwards—day!</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line in14'><span class='sc'>Emily Dickinson.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c003' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_vii'>vii</span>
- <h2 class='c006'>Contents</h2>
-</div>
-
-<table class='table0' summary='Contents'>
- <tr>
- <th class='c007'></th>
- <th class='c007'>&nbsp;</th>
- <th class='c008'><span class='small'>Page</span></th>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c007'><span class='sc'>Book &nbsp;&nbsp;I.</span></td>
- <td class='c007'><span class='sc'>Morning</span></td>
- <td class='c008'><a href='#Page_1'>1</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr><td>&nbsp;</td></tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c007'><span class='sc'>Book &nbsp;II.</span></td>
- <td class='c007'><span class='sc'>Afternoon</span></td>
- <td class='c008'><a href='#Page_131'>131</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr><td>&nbsp;</td></tr>
- <tr>
- <td class='c007'><span class='sc'>Book III.</span></td>
- <td class='c007'><span class='sc'>Night</span></td>
- <td class='c008'><a href='#Page_219'>219</a></td>
- </tr>
-</table>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_1'>1</span>
- <h2 class='c006'>BOOK I<br /> <span class='large'>MORNING</span></h2>
-</div>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_3'>3</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER I</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>I rise and raise my claspèd hands to Thee!</div>
- <div class='line'>Henceforth, the darkness hath no part in me,</div>
- <div class='line in6'>Thy sacrifice this day,—</div>
- <div class='line'>Abiding firm, and with a freeman’s might</div>
- <div class='line'>Stemming the waves of passion in the fight.</div>
- <div class='line in34'>—<span class='sc'>John Henry Newman.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>Where the Monk River makes its way through the
-mountain wall in one of the northern counties of Vermont,
-lies the small, white village of Haran. Although
-isolated and remote from the world, unknown and unconsidered
-beyond certain narrow limits, this village possessed,
-forty years ago, a local importance as being the
-county town, the seat also of a Young Ladies’ Seminary
-of some reputation, and an Orthodox church which
-boasted a line of ministers of exalted piety and scholarly
-attainment.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The incumbent in the year 1869 was the Rev. Samuel
-Mallison. His pastorate had now extended over twenty
-years, and he was reverenced far beyond the bounds of
-his parish for learning and godliness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was a June Saturday night in that year, and the
-hour was late. In the low-roofed garret of the parsonage
-of Haran the figure of a tall, thin girl with a candle in
-her hand moved swiftly and softly to the head of a steep
-flight of stairs, which gave access to the garret from the
-floor below. Some one had called her name.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, father,” she returned, and a certain vibration
-of restrained feeling was perceptible in her voice, “it
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_4'>4</span>was I. I am sorry I disturbed you. Were you
-asleep?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>All was dark below, and no person could be seen, but
-again came the man’s voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What were you doing, Anna?” was the question.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Only putting away—” here the girl faltered and
-stopped speaking. The candle in her hand shook, and
-threw a strange, wavering shadow of her shape upon the
-long, rough timbers of the wall. The roof was so low
-where she stood that of necessity her head was bent
-sharply forward. The outline of her shoulders was
-meagre and angular; her arms and body had neither the
-grace of a girl nor the curves of a woman; they were
-simply lean and long. There was something of loftiness,
-and even of beauty, in the face, but the cheeks were
-hollow, the lines all lacking in softness. The <em>ensemble</em>
-was grave and strenuous for a girl of eighteen.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She began again.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I was nailing up that box of books, you remember.
-I thought now, you know, I ought to do it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Something like a groan seemed to float up from the
-darkness below. There was no other reply for a moment,
-and then the father’s voice said slowly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“To take back later such an action is a greater violation
-of the moral nature than to avoid performing it.
-If it has been given you as duty, it is well done, but be
-very sure.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A smile, brooding, and even sad, altered the girl’s
-face as she reflected for a little.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am very sure,” she said softly, but without
-hesitation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then, good night. Sleep, now. Let to-morrow
-take thought for the things of itself, Anna.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span>“Good night, father.” The little lingering of her
-voice on the last word gave to it the force of a term of
-endearment, which it would not have occurred to Anna
-Mallison at that time to add.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A door closed below, presently, and the house was
-still.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The garret extended over the entire house, and its
-unlighted spaces seemed to stretch indefinitely on all
-sides from the little circle of light shed by the one
-candle. The place was wholly open, save that at the
-front gable, below the highest point in the peak of
-the roof, a partition of planed but unpainted boards
-enclosed a small chamber. The narrow door of it stood
-open.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As Anna approached this door she cast her glance to a
-far, dim corner, where in stiff order a wooden box of moderate
-size stood upon a chest. She crossed to the place,
-passed her hand over the lid of this box, satisfied herself
-that it was firmly and evenly fastened, and then gathered
-up some nails and a hammer, which she put away
-on the ledge formed by a square, projecting rafter. This
-accomplished, she came back and entered the chamber,
-which was sparely enough furnished, undressed, put out
-her candle, and sat down in the open gable window.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Even if to-morrow were left to take thought for the
-things of itself, there were many yesterdays which she
-wished to meet to-night. And for that to-morrow,—she
-was hardly ready to leave all thought of it yet, for
-she regarded it as the most solemn and important crisis
-in her eighteen years of life. On the Sabbath, which a
-few hours would bring, she was to be received into the
-village church of which her father was pastor, and this
-event would signify that all her previous existence, the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span>time past of her life, was a closed and finished chapter,
-and that henceforth all things were to become new.
-Life was to be furnished now with new pleasures, new
-pains, new motives, new mental occupations. A somewhat
-sterner and sadder life she fancied it, full of self-examination,
-sacrifice, and high endeavour, for she felt
-it must suffice her to have wrought her own will in the
-past, “the will of the flesh,” as her father and the Apostle
-Paul termed it; a phrase which had but a vague import
-to her own understanding, and yet exerted a powerful
-influence upon her conscience.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>To her mind there was an intimate connection between
-that now sealed box and “the will of the flesh.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was when she was fifteen years old that Anna had
-discovered one day among the ranks of chests and trunks
-which lined the outer stretches of the garret, this small box
-of books, thickly covered with dust. At first she had been
-greatly surprised, since books were the things her father
-most earnestly desired and needed, his scanty collection
-being quite insufficient for his use, and being helped out
-by no village library. Every book in the house had
-borne to Anna’s imagination a potent dignity and value,
-for each one embodied a persistent need, and represented
-an almost severe economy before its possession had been
-achieved.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>And here were nearly thirty respectably bound volumes
-packed away for moth and dust alone to live upon—what
-could it mean? Had they been forgotten? Anna
-had devoured their titles with consuming wonder and
-curiosity, and with the ardour of the instinctive book-lover.
-Like Aurora Leigh, she had “found the secret
-of a garret room.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a volume of Ossian,—heroic, sounding
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span>words caught her eye as she turned the rough, yellow
-leaves; Landor’s “Hellenics and Idylls”; a copy bound
-in marred, brown leather of Pope’s translation of the
-“Iliad,” published, she noted, in 1806, almost fifty years
-before she was born; the poems of Byron, Shelley,
-Keats, and Coleridge, and of the earlier American poets;
-and a thin gilded volume of Blake’s “Songs of Innocence.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Besides these were worn volumes of Plato, of Greek
-and Latin poets, and German editions of Faust and
-Nathan der Weise. At the bottom of the box Anna
-found a faded commonplace book with her father’s
-name inscribed on the first page, and the date 1840. It
-contained translations of Greek poetry which she supposed
-to have been made by her father, although of this
-she was not sure. She did not read them, for she felt
-that she had no right to explore anything so personal
-without his permission. This scruple, however, did not
-extend to the books which filled the box, although Anna
-felt rather than understood that they had not been packed
-away together thus by accident, or left by forgetfulness.
-She perceived that they denoted some decisive experience
-in her father’s inner life, that spiritual personality of the
-man, which possessed to the young girl’s thought an
-august and even mysterious sacredness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Whatever these books had meant to him, and for whatever
-reason they had been exiled from his meagre library,
-they became to his daughter the most brilliant and alluring
-feature of a somewhat colourless girlhood, the charm
-of them enhanced by secrecy; for, with the reticence
-characteristic of the family life, Anna never alluded to
-her discovery. Neither did she ever remove these literary
-remains from their seclusion in the garret; this
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_8'>8</span>would have seemed an act of violence, but around the
-box which held them she formed a kind of enclosing
-barricade of chests and old furniture. The little nook
-thus formed she regarded as her place of refuge, of
-private and unguessed delight. A candle at night, and
-rays of light piercing the wide cracks under the eaves by
-day, made reading easy to her clear young eyes, even in
-the dust and dusk of the dim place. And so for two
-years, through biting cold and searing heat, Anna fed her
-mind and heart on the poetry which had ruled her
-father’s generation, unknown and unsanctioned by any
-one. Then one day came a strange event; she never
-recalled it without a sense of unshed tears.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was late one August afternoon, and, her day’s work
-faithfully performed, Anna had gone up to her garret
-room to make her simple toilet for the evening meal.
-There were a few moments to spare, and, as usual, she
-hastened to her nook, and was soon deep in Prometheus,
-for Shelley just then controlled her imagination. Her
-father came into the garret behind her, a very unwonted
-thing, and Anna heard the sharp, scraping sound as he
-drew out from the recesses where it had stood for years,
-a small, brown, hair-covered trunk, studded with brass
-nails, forming the initials S. D. M. It had been his own
-during his college days, and had seen but little service
-since. One of Anna’s brothers was to start for college
-in a day or two, and the old trunk was to serve a second
-generation in its quest for learning.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Startled by the unusual noise, Anna rose in her place,
-and, seeing her father, spoke to him, whereupon he
-crossed the garret to where she stood; a small, thin man,
-bent a little, with a pale brown skin, prominent eyes,
-and a dome-shaped head, the hair thin on the crown
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span>even to baldness, but soft and silken and long enough
-behind the ears to show its tendency to curl.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What have you there, Anna?” Samuel Mallison
-had asked, peering with short-sighted, searching eyes
-between the bars of a battered crib which Anna had
-used as a part of her wall of partition.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Poetry, father,” she had replied, handing him the
-book with eager, innocent enthusiasm; “oh, it is very
-beautiful! I love it so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Her father, looking at the book, flushed strangely,
-and a sudden, indescribable change passed over his face.
-Pushing aside the rubbish which separated him from
-Anna, he was immediately at her side, and in silence had
-bent over the box. He had drawn it nearer the light,
-and seemed looking on the side for some sign or inscription.
-There was a piercing eagerness in his eyes.
-Then Anna had noticed what had escaped her hitherto,
-the initials, S. D. M., followed by the reference, Matthew
-v. 29, and the date, 1848, written in ink on the
-lower corner, dim with dust stains and faded with the
-processes of time.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Still her father had not spoken, but, sitting down on a
-chest, he had bent over the box, and had drawn from it
-one after the other the buried books, with a hand as
-gentle as if he were touching the tokens of a dead love.
-Anna had stood aside, silent and abashed, a strange
-tightening sensation in her throat. Her father seemed
-to have forgotten her. At last he had reached the old
-commonplace book underneath all. The flush on his
-face had deepened, and Anna had thought there were
-tears in his eyes as he glanced rapidly over its yellowed
-pages, with the verses in fine, stiff writing and faded ink.
-Then he had closed the book with a long sigh, had laid
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>it carefully back in its place, and rising, had walked up
-and down in the low garret for many minutes in some
-evident agitation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A sense of guilt and apprehension had fallen upon
-Anna in her perplexity, but when, in the end, he had
-come and stood beside her, there was a great gentleness
-on his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And so you love those books, my child?” he had
-asked her briefly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, father.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I understand. I loved them, but I gave them up—twenty
-years ago, almost. They became a snare.” He
-had been, then, silent a moment, while a peculiar conflict
-of thought was reflected in his face. “Yes,” he continued,
-as if convinced of something called in doubt,
-“they became a snare—to me—but for you I cannot
-decide. It may not be for you to drink of my cup.
-Who knows?” and with that he had turned and left her,
-and left the garret, the trunk forgotten; and Anna had
-laid the books back, soberly and with a great heartache,
-almost as if she were laying dust dear and sacred in its
-coffin.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The matter had never been alluded to again between
-the father and daughter, but Anna knew that she was
-free to read, and so read on. And still her unalloyed
-happiness in her hidden treasure was gone. A question,
-a suspicion, a disturbing doubt, was now attached to it.
-It was not wrong to read this poetry, but plainly there
-was a more excellent way, a higher ground which her
-father had reached, and which, with her inborn passion
-for perfection, she, too, must some day attain. Slowly
-and silently this conviction matured within her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>And so to-night, on the eve of her day of supreme
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span>consecration, Anna, in her turn, had buried out of her
-sight, as her father had before her, the poetry into which
-she had been pouring her young awakening life, silently
-and secretly, but with a fervour which the reader of many
-books can never know. They had spoken to her in
-mighty voices, these great spirits, so free, joyous, and
-mysterious in their power; but they were not the voice
-<em>of God</em>, and therefore she must listen to them no more.
-This had been a tree of life to her, but its fruit was forbidden.
-The axe must thenceforth be laid unflinchingly
-at the root of the tree. Such was the initial impulse,
-single, stern, and absolute, of Anna’s awakening religious
-nature.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Theologians in the sixties did not talk of the immanence
-of God.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER II</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Children of men! the unseen Power whose eye</div>
- <div class='line'>Forever doth accompany mankind,</div>
- <div class='line'>Hath looked on no religion scornfully</div>
- <div class='line in8'>That man did ever find.</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Which has not taught weak wills how much they can?</div>
- <div class='line'>Which has not fall’n on the dry heart like rain?</div>
- <div class='line'>Which has not cried to sunk, self-weary man:</div>
- <div class='line in8'><em>Thou must be born again!</em></div>
- <div class='line in38'>—<span class='sc'>Matthew Arnold.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>Anna Mallison’s working theory of the human family
-in its moral and religious relations (and she recognized
-no other as of importance) was as destitute of shading
-as a carpenter’s house plan. Indeed, her hypothesis unconsciously
-bore a certain pictorial resemblance to the
-ground plan of a colonial house—a hall running through
-the middle with two rooms on each side! There was,
-straight through the centre of her moral universe, a wide,
-divisive, neutral passage in which dwelt uneasily all people
-who had not been regenerated, but who had not rejected
-salvation formally and forever. Here were such
-heathen and young children, and such thoughtless and
-unhardened impenitent as might yet listen to the divine
-call. At the right of this central hall, following Anna’s
-scheme of the race, were two wide rooms: the first bright
-with a subdued and varied light; the second, opening
-beyond the first, overflowing with undimmed and celestial
-radiance. The first was the Church, the place of
-saints on earth, the second was heaven, easily reached
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>from the first. But the entrance to the first room from
-the central space was obscure, difficult, and mysterious,
-and few were they who found it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the left of the great hall were likewise two vast
-connecting chambers. A wide door stood ever open
-into the first, through which a throng continually passed.
-Here were dimness and dread, lighted only by false and
-baleful gleams; and in the room beyond, the blackness
-of darkness, and that forever.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This first room was the abode of those who deliberately
-chose the world and turned away from God, whose
-fitting end was in the awful gloom of that place of torment
-and wailing beyond.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Above the right-hand division, high and lifted up,
-dwelt in unthinkable glory the God of her fathers, holy,
-but to her subconscious sense, ineffective, else why
-were earthquakes, murders, prisons, insanities? and why,
-indeed, those populous chambers on the left?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Over them presided a rapid, hurtling Spirit, always
-engaged in her imagination in falling like lightning from
-heaven. He was Miltonic necessarily, but also much
-like one of Ossian’s heroes, and, on the whole, a more
-imposing force than the Creator whose power he seemed
-so successfully to have usurped.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In fine, Anna believed in two gods, an infinite spirit
-of good, and an infinite spirit of evil, although she would
-have called herself strictly monotheistic.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The neutral space between the realms of the Good
-and Evil was the battleground of these two mighty spirits.
-Here prophets, apostles, and preachers were calling
-loudly and untiringly upon all men to repent, and to
-find the entrance to the company of the redeemed.
-From time to time some swift and valorous spirit of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>man or angel would even make excursion into the dim
-outer room on the left, and bring thence a scorched and
-spotted soul, saved, but so as by fire. But such events
-were rare and not to be presumed upon or expected.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was all perfectly clear to Anna, the classification
-and grouping precise, exact, and satisfactory. Black
-was very black; and white, very white. She had herself
-until very recently belonged in the neutral hall, but she
-now believed herself to be “experiencing religion,” a
-fine old phrase, which was in effect to be pressing successfully
-through that obscure opening which led into
-the outer court of heaven.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But just here there was a weakness in the system.
-Theologians and preachers like her father boldly declared
-the contrary, and asserted that the processes of entering
-the kingdom of heaven were as marked and unmistakable
-as the great general divisions of saints and sinners.
-The conversion of Saul of Tarsus was always depicted
-as norm and type. To be sure, all the processes were
-not in each case marked by equal distinctness, but the
-logical order was the same. In the first stage of the
-progress the sinner was said to be “under conviction”
-or “experiencing a sense of sin”; and the more bitter
-and overwhelming was this first phase, the better was
-the diagnosis from the professional point of view. At
-this point the penitent was to realize that, whatever his
-former life had been, even if a life of prayer and unselfish
-devotion, it had been wholly displeasing to God, and
-that, as tending to self-righteousness, such a life was
-peculiarly dangerous. By nature, there could not be in
-the human character any real moral excellence, or what
-was more technically known as “evangelical virtue.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>All this Samuel Mallison had recently set forth in a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span>series of sermons on “Human Depravity; its Degree,
-its Extent, its Derivation, and its Punishment,” which
-had been considered of extraordinary value and merit.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But it was just here that his daughter, for all the
-logic and learning to which she was privileged to listen,
-stumbled and stood still. For weeks her spiritual development
-appeared to be arrested. She was silent,
-uncommunicative, and disappointing to all the older
-members and office-bearers in her father’s church.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What is the matter with Anna?” was the frequent
-question put to Mrs. Mallison in the parish. “Why
-don’t she <em>come out</em>?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, she is under conviction all the time,” would be
-the reply, with a somewhat decided shake of the head.
-“We let her alone pretty much, Mr. Mallison and I.
-It isn’t best to say too much, you know, when anybody
-has reached that point. We can see that conscience is
-working with her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The questioner would depart with the belief that Anna’s
-conviction was of an unusually profound and interesting
-nature, like a disease with a complication; but if
-they had asked Anna herself, she might have told them
-that it was from the absence of this conviction, rather
-than from its intensity, that she was suffering. She was
-too honest to assume a virtue, or even a vice, if she had
-it not, and seek it as she would, a poignant sense of sin
-did not visit her. She had cast about her, and searched
-her own heart and life in a distinct embarrassment at
-finding so few clearly defined and indubitable sins of
-which to plead guilty; she had even secretly reproached
-her parents in her heart for having insisted upon an
-almost faultless standard of daily living, since conformity
-to their will seemed to be in itself a snare, and to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span>place her at a distinct disadvantage now as compared
-with the flagrant sinner. Why had they taught her to
-pray, since she was now told that the prayers of the
-unregenerate were displeasing to God?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She used to sit during the Sunday morning service
-and look at the neighbours in their pews around her, at
-their children and grandchildren, and at the members of
-her own family, seeking to find a person whom she was
-conscious of having wronged, or toward whom she cherished
-a feeling of enmity or envy. The only result of
-this species of self-examination had been to bring to her
-remembrance a childish, half-forgotten grudge against a
-girl with fair curls, Malvina Loveland by name, who had
-once ridiculed her at school, for wearing one of Lucia’s
-dresses made over. Anna drew this dim and fading fault
-remorselessly up to the light, and formally and forever
-forgave the unconscious “Mally.” But the longing for
-a deep experience of the “exceeding sinfulness of sin”
-remained unsatisfied. Like many another sincere and
-seeking soul of that day, she yearned in vain to fill out
-in its rigid precision of sequence that spiritual programme
-which the theologians prescribed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Her father gave her free access to the precious, if narrow,
-resources of his library, and she read the Edwards,
-both elder and younger, the elder Dwight, Bunyan, Baxter,
-and the rest, in place of her dear pagans whose end
-she now clearly foresaw. She read of the “depraved
-moral conduct of every infant who lives so long as to
-be capable of moral action”; she read that “the heart
-of Man, after all abatements are made for certain innocent
-and amiable characteristics, is set to do evil in a
-most affecting and dreadful manner”; and that “the
-darling and customary pleasures of men furnish an
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>advantageous proof of the extreme depravity of our
-nature.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Was I a very wicked little child?” she asked her
-mother one day.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Wicked!” cried her mother, artlessly, resenting
-the thought. “You were like a little angel, Benigna,
-even from the very first. So was it that I gave you my
-sainted mother’s name. Even your looks were all love;
-all saw it, and strangers too. You a bad child, indeed
-who never gave your mother a harsh word or a heartache
-since you were born!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna Benigna, for so her mother called her, bent and
-kissed her mother, a rare caress in that family.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am glad I pleased you,” she whispered. There
-were tears in her eyes, and as she walked without further
-word from the room, her mother perceived the significance
-of question and reply, and pondered long.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then suddenly, as ice breaks up in the spring, and
-the freshet bears down everything before it, a moment
-of crisis and perception came, one of those moments
-which, albeit varying with each human experience,
-remains in each supreme.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Under all her outward conformity to law and love,
-Anna realized now that there had lain for years a deep,
-half-conscious resentment toward the Creator, a cold dislike
-of God. How could he look upon her with approval
-while such a disposition remained in her heart? She
-had loved the human; she had not loved the divine.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A sense of the absolute and eternal Good from which
-she was alienated, to which she was antagonistic, smote
-her with force. She now seemed to herself in the presence
-of God as a speck of dust against a dazzling
-mountain of snow—incalculably small, hatefully impure.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>A passion of contrition and surrender mastered
-her; vague regenerating fires tried her soul; and then
-came an exhaustion of spirit, as of a child whom its
-Father has chastened, and who is reconciled and at
-peace. This succession of emotions she was able to
-recall distinctly as long as she lived.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This had been a month ago. Anna had recounted
-these spiritual exercises to her father, and he had told her
-that they denoted conversion, and advised her presenting
-herself to the church for admission. This she had
-done, but when he asked her, further, to what cause, if
-any, she ascribed this past sense of enmity against God,
-she had been silent.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>However, her father was fully satisfied. Like a
-physician with a well-declared fever of a certain type,
-he felt it to be a clear case. Considering his child’s
-blameless innocence of life, it was an unexpectedly satisfactory
-one from the theologian’s point of view.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As she sat now in the warm gloom of the June night,
-with the dark trees murmuring softly under the wind,
-and the sky with many stars bending near, only the
-gable jutting above her head to keep its splendours off,
-Anna travelled back in thought to her childish days and
-found there the answer to her father’s question.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER III</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Nay, but I think the whisper crept</div>
- <div class='line'>Like growth through childhood. Work and play,</div>
- <div class='line'>Things common to the course of day,</div>
- <div class='line'>Awed thee with meanings unfulfill’d;</div>
- <div class='line'>And all through girlhood, something still’d</div>
- <div class='line'>Thy senses like the birth of light,</div>
- <div class='line'>When thou hast trimmed thy lamp at night</div>
- <div class='line'>Or washed thy garments in the stream.</div>
- <div class='line in32'>—<span class='sc'>Dante Gabriel Rossetti.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>Until her twelfth year Anna had not encountered the
-severities of Calvinistic theology, Samuel Mallison having
-intrusted the spiritual guidance of his children, during
-their earlier years, to their mother. Anna was the
-youngest child. Mrs. Mallison was of a German Moravian
-family who, coming from Pennsylvania, had settled
-on the eastern boundary of New York early in the century.
-She possessed the serene and trustful temperament
-of her people. The subtleties of her husband’s religious
-system were beyond her simple ken; she loved to sing
-the hymns of Zinzendorf, as she sewed and spun and
-ordered her household in true German <i><span lang="de" xml:lang="de">Hausfräulichkeit</span></i>,
-a sincere, devout, affectionate soul who had found the
-tone of the frigid little north New England community
-more chilling than she dared to own.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>From her Anna inherited her warm impulses, her
-abounding delight in nature, her susceptibility to the
-simplest impressions of sweet and common things.
-Gulielma Mallison understood the child when she
-came running to her one early spring morning from
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>the parsonage garden, where the dark brown earth was
-freshly upturned and young green things were springing,
-and had tears in her eyes, veiling wonder, and a shy
-thrill of joy in all her small birdlike frame, and had
-asked, her hands clasped upon her breast:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why am I so happy, mother, that I can’t bear it?
-Why does something ache so here?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is because thou art in God’s beautiful world, little
-Benigna,” the mother had said, “and thou art God’s
-child. He is near thee, and thy heart yearns to him.
-Be glad in God.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In his study, through the open door, Samuel Mallison
-heard these words, and, whatever his perplexity as to
-their doctrinal inconsistency, he did not gainsay them.
-From his point of view at this time little Anna was
-entirely out of relation to God and out of harmony with
-his being, and it would have been impossible for her to
-please him. But just then an old question, which would
-not always down, had forced its way to his mind—What
-if there were a wrong link somewhere in the logic?
-What if the love of God were something greater than
-the schoolmen guessed?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But on a certain winter night Anna’s childhood died,
-and the battle of her life began.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Well she remembered every physical sensation even,
-accompanying that experience.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It had been a snowy Saturday night, and she had come
-in from the warm kitchen where, in a round washing-day
-tub, drawn close to the hot stove, she had taken a
-merry, splashing bath, after the regular order of exercises
-for Saturday night at the parsonage. Her older sister,
-Lucia, had presided over the function, and when it was
-accomplished she had been closely wrapped in a pale
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>straw-hued, homespun flannel sheet, over her nightclothes,
-preparatory to facing the rigours of the bitterly cold hall
-and stairs, and the little bedroom above.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>So she had trailed into the living-room, where the
-boys and her parents were gathered around a large table.
-The room was not very brightly lighted by the single oil
-lamp, but a great fire crackled loudly in the stove, and
-the rattle of the hard snowflakes on the window panes
-and the whistling of the wind outside gave keen emphasis
-to the sense of cheerful safety and comfort.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Warm and languid from the heat of her bath, Anna
-had sat down on a low seat and dropped her head on her
-mother’s knees, feeling an indescribable sensation of
-happy lassitude and physical well-being. She recalled
-how interested she had been in the shrivelled whiteness
-of her own long, little fingers, and how soft and woolly
-that dear old blanket had felt; it was on her bed now,
-with her mother’s maiden name worked in cross-stitch
-in one corner, in pale pink crewel.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They had been waiting for her, to proceed with the
-evening devotions, and her father had at once begun to
-read a part of a sermon from one of the standard divines
-who, though somewhat out of fashion in the centres of
-progressive thought, were still held infallible in these
-remoter regions.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The subject was “The Benevolence of God in Inflicting
-Punishment,” from a work entitled “The Effects of
-the Fall.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna did not listen very closely for a time, but presently
-her attention was caught and held. The writer
-was seeking to prove that “the damnation of a large
-part of the human race directly subserved the general
-happiness of mankind and the glory of God.” That
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>even if he had saved none of the sons of men, but “had
-left them to the endless torment they had so justly deserved,”
-and “had glorified himself in their eternal ruin,
-they would have had no cause to complain.” That the
-best of what were illusively known as “good works,”
-were “no more than splendid sins.” That no doubt,
-if any heathen could be found who was truly virtuous
-and holy, who loved God in the strictly evangelical
-sense, as infinitely great, wise, and holy, and who kept all
-his perfect law without infraction, such heathen might
-be saved. But as there was no evidence that any such
-heathen ever had existed, or ever could exist, there was
-no reason to believe that any had been saved. As the
-heathen still formed a vast proportion of the population
-of the globe, and as only a small fraction of those nations
-commonly known as Christian had actually and experimentally
-come under the law of grace, the only conclusion
-possible was, that a vast proportion of the human
-family throughout all ages and down to the present time
-“were serving the purposes of God’s infinite wisdom
-and benevolence in their creation in endless misery or
-torment.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The triumphant logic of the old divine, which Mrs.
-Mallison secretly found discomfiting but accepted calmly
-enough considering its terrific import, and which her
-husband read with the sad and solemn pathos of one to
-whom it was a mournful verity, had a curious effect
-upon little Anna. For the first time the real meaning
-of familiar words like these smote full and sharp upon
-her mind, and in the physical lassitude of the moment
-acted like a bodily injury upon her. She grew whiter
-and whiter, and she touched and grasped the soft blanket
-about her with powerless fingers, to convince herself
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>that she could feel and find what was familiar, faintness
-being an absolutely unknown sensation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Suddenly, with an imperious impulse, and a singular
-effect of childish courage which dared to do an unheard-of
-thing, she rose and said with perfect apparent composure,
-breaking in upon the reading:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am too tired to stay here any longer, I am going
-upstairs now,” and so left the room. Her mother had
-watched the slight figure in its close drapery with anxious
-eyes until the door closed upon her, but had not thought
-of following. This reading was a solemn function not
-to be lightly interrupted.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Upstairs, Anna had betaken herself hastily to bed, and
-lay there, motionless, somewhat alarmed at her own revolutionary
-action, and with little to say when questioned
-by her mother presently.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But when the house was still, and the night advancing
-to its mid depth of darkness, the child, still lying with
-wide, wakeful eyes, cried silently with a piteous consciousness
-of desolation and sorrow. A sense of the bitterness
-of a world where millions of helpless human spirits
-were shut up to endless agony had overwhelmed her, and
-a spirit of rebellion against God who willed it so for his
-own glory had taken intense possession of her thought.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In the passion of her childish resentment and grief
-and worn by the unwonted wakefulness, her breath came
-in long, quivering sobs which were heard in the next
-room, and brought her father to her side.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She could answer nothing to his questions, but he
-found her hands cold, and her pulse weak and rapid.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You did not eat your supper to-night, little Anna,”
-he said gently, remembering her faint appetite for the
-frugal fare of the parsonage table.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>Anna only sobbed more convulsively. She had expected
-severity and blame, feeling verily guilty in spirit.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Samuel Mallison said nothing more, but Anna, wondering,
-heard him go downstairs, heard doors open and
-shut, and then silence fell again. Ten minutes later her
-father stood again by the bedside in the icy chill of the
-winter midnight in the unwarmed chamber, and he had
-brought a bowl of broth, hot and smoking, bread, too,
-and, most unwonted pampering, a piece of the rare poundcake,
-kept for company and never given to children
-except on high holidays.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Neither of them spoke, but Samuel Mallison, for all
-the cold, sat on the bed’s edge while Anna ate and
-drank, drawing her frail little body to rest against his
-own.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The broth was salted for Anna by her tears, and the
-long-drawn sobs, coming at intervals, half choked her as
-she ate, but she was comforted at last and fortified against
-the woe of the world, and she pressed her cheek against
-her father’s arm with a sense of the infinite sweetness of
-fatherhood warm at her heart. As she finished the last
-crumb of cake, she thought:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“If only God had been kind like my father! I was
-naughty, and that only makes him good to me and pitiful.”
-But she said nothing, only looked with a world
-of wondering gratefulness in her large innocent eyes up
-into her father’s face, finding some perplexity that cake
-and broth should reconcile her to the everlasting torment
-of the majority of mankind, but wisely concluding to
-make the best of it since such seemed to be the effect,
-and, as it was now undoubtedly high time, to go to sleep.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Finding her bright and well next morning, the Mallisons,
-father and mother, had thought little more of that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>Saturday night revolt, which they, indeed, had not known
-as such; but, as she looked back over her years to-night,
-in her gable window, Anna perceived that from that time
-there had always been in the secret place of her heart a
-sense of enmity against a God who was not kind like her
-father. To-night she knew herself, at last, reconciled;
-faith had triumphed and declared that even the darkest
-decree of God’s great will must be right, since he was
-the absolutely Good. But her heart yearned with mighty
-yearning for the subjects of his just wrath, and as she
-knelt in the darkness and silence she gave herself with
-simple, unreserved sincerity to the service of the lost
-among men.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Rising from her knees, Anna felt a strange glow and
-exaltation of spirit. In her own personal life sin had
-been met and vanquished. Tremendous apostolic assertions
-buoyed her soul upward like strong wings: “free
-from the law of sin and of death,” “passed from death
-unto life,” “All things are yours, and ye are Christ’s,
-and Christ is God’s.” Thus she felt her finite linked to
-the infinite. Her spirit was suffused with thrilling and
-unspeakable joy; God was closer than breathing and
-nearer than hands and feet.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But, as she stood rapt and absorbed, there came up
-through the hush of the night from the dim street below
-a strange sound, and she was caught back by it, and
-listened painfully. It was a little child crying piteously.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Peering down through the clustering branches, below
-her window, Anna could discern by the dim light of the
-stars the shape of a woman, forlorn and spiritless, passing
-silently along the shadowed way. Behind her followed
-the crying child, with weary little feet stumbling
-at every stone. The woman carried something in her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>arms, hidden by an apron; she turned and looked at the
-child, and shook her head, but did not speak.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This woman, who moved abroad only at night, was
-the village outcast, and the child was her child, born in
-sin.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Vague and uncomprehended to Anna’s mind was the
-abyss into which this woman had fallen, but she felt it
-to be black and bottomless, and to place an everlasting
-separation between her and the good. She drew back
-from the window, a sharp pain, made of pity and horror,
-at her heart, sin embodied thus confronting her. She
-felt as Sir Launfal felt when he saw the leper.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Lying down to rest at last, Anna slept, in spite of
-spiritual ecstasies and sufferings, the sound sleep of a
-healthy girl who is fortunate enough to forget the ultimate
-destinies of human souls, her own with the rest,
-for certain favoured hours.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was long before her sleep was disturbed by dreams,
-but an hour before sunrise she awoke with a pervading
-sense of exquisite happiness brought over with her from
-a dream just dreamed. It was a still dream of seeing,
-not of doing. She had seen the form of a man of
-heroic aspect, old rather than young, with a grey head,
-leonine and majestic, strong stern features, a glance
-mild and yet searching and subduing; a man imperial
-and lofty, and above his fellows, but whether as king
-or saint or soldier she could not guess. But here was
-made visible a power, a freedom, and a greatness for
-which her own nature, she felt in a swift flash of self-revelation,
-passionately cried out, which it had nowhere
-found, and to which it bowed in a curious delight
-hitherto unknown. This only happened: this mysterious
-personality, more than human, she thought, if less
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span>than divine, had looked kindly upon her, in her weak,
-childish abasement, and had shed into her eyes, and so
-into her heart, the impossible, inexplicable happiness with
-which she awoke. She did not sleep again. This waking
-consciousness enamoured her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>What did it mean? Anna asked herself all day. Was
-it a dream sent from God at this solemn hour of dedication?
-If so, what did it prefigure? Even at the sacramental
-feast, her first communion, that majestic head,
-with the controlling sweetness of the eyes upon her,
-came before her vision, and made her heart beat fast.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER IV</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>The fiend that man harries</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Is love of the Best.</div>
- <div class='line in18'>—<cite>The Sphynx</cite>, <span class='sc'>R. W. Emerson</span>.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>Malvina Loveland, the girl whom Anna had found
-solace in forgiving for her childish offence, had “come
-out,” as Haran people said, at the same time with
-Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This fact, and the compunction in Anna’s heart toward
-her early foe, had drawn the two girls together,
-and they became friends. They talked of the interests
-of the cause of religion, and read biographies together,
-or rather, Anna read aloud while her friend diligently
-produced lace work with a small shuttle, or hemstitched
-linen ruffles; but both cared less for these several occupations
-than for the sense of mingling their young,
-unfolding perceptions.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had need of a friend; Lucia, her sister, was
-many years older, and had long ago married a farmer,
-and departed deeper into the hills, where she worked
-with the immoderate industry of New England women,
-bore many children, and lived a life into which Anna
-did not enter deeply. The Mallison boys were away
-from home, studying and working, and the parsonage
-was a silent place. Anna adored her father with the
-restrained ardour of her kind, and loved her mother with
-a great tenderness, but she was actively intimate with
-neither, and thus greatly alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mally was noticeably pretty, and Anna thought her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>beauty angelic. She was capable, clever, quick, and
-impulsive, one of the women who can do anything they
-see done, strongly imitative and impressionable. She
-developed rapidly, while Anna matured slowly. Anna
-had nobleness, Mally had facility. Anna, beside Mally,
-looked uncomfortably tall, with her angular thinness and
-her dark, grave face. She had masses of lustreless brown
-hair, a clear <em>brune</em> skin like her father, and, like him,
-singularly fine hands. Her eyes were her mother’s,
-and her only beauty,—golden brown, and of limpid
-clearness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>To both these girls their religion was a system of
-prohibition and of an abnormal development of conscience.
-The negative, not the positive, side was uppermost
-to them. “Thou shalt not” was written over
-every device and desire which did not minister directly
-to the furtherance of the local conception of religion.
-Both were eager to grasp the positive side, to convert
-the world, to see Satan chained, and themselves to contribute
-to this desirable consummation; but they were
-doubtful how to begin. Both were ardent controversialists
-after the manner of their day, and Anna read systematic
-theology with her father with extraordinary
-relish.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They waited and wondered, each longing for her destiny
-to disclose itself decisively. But with Anna a hidden
-life budded beneath the surface, unknown even to
-Mally. The romantic and poetic impulses of her nature,
-no longer directly nourished by the poets whom
-she had put away from her by force, stirred in her heart,
-and fed themselves, in silence, on the life of nature, and
-on the delicate, evanescent imaginings of her awakening
-womanhood.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>Below the surface of her conscious thoughts a strange
-inarticulate passion for power and freedom beat and
-throbbed, and would not be stilled, despite her quiet,
-conscientious conformity to the narrow conditions of the
-world about her. She did not know what freedom was,
-but she felt that she was not free; neither did she clearly
-know what the power meant for which she longed, but
-she felt the absence of it in every one she had ever met.
-It was mysterious, indefinable—once only had she encountered
-it, and that was in a dream.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thus a nature simple and single, with all its forces
-apparently bent one way, and with few avenues, or none,
-by which to import conflicting influences, was, in fact,
-already incipiently subject to the complexities of instinct,
-of motive, and desire, which weave the bewildering network
-of human experience.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When Anna was twenty, an event occurred of much
-importance in its bearing on her life. Under the direction
-of an old friend of Samuel Mallison, the Rev.
-Dr. Durham of Boston, a general secretary for Foreign
-Missions, a series of meetings was held in Haran for the
-promotion of an interest in this cause. Dr. Durham
-was entertained, during the time of the convention, at
-the parsonage; he was a genial and kindly man, and became
-in his way an especial friend of Anna, in whom
-he manifested a marked interest.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>From the country round about, during the week, men
-and women thronged to Haran; and at an evening meeting
-to be addressed by a woman who had been a missionary
-in India, the white meeting-house was filled.
-Many in the congregation had never seen a missionary;
-many more had never heard a woman speak in public.
-Curiosity ran high.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>The speaker was a little sallow woman, in a plain and
-unbecoming grey gown, who stepped timidly to the edge
-of the platform, laying a small hand which trembled visibly
-on the cold mahogany pulpit, as if to conciliate it
-for her intrusion and to crave its support.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She spoke in a shrill crescendo, without the graces or
-arts of a skilled speaker, and she made no appeal to the
-emotions of the hearers. It was rather a dry and unimaginative
-account of the work done at an obscure mountain
-station, with statistics of no great impressiveness,
-and careful attention to accuracy of detail. But she
-had the advantage of sowing her seed on virgin soil. It
-was not important at that day and to those isolated and
-simple-minded people that the missionary should speak
-with enticing words, or attempt dramatic effect. She
-was herself there before them in flesh and blood, and no
-great time before she had been on heathen ground, had
-come into actual combat, face to face, with wild, savage
-men and strange, outlandish women, who knew not God,
-and who veritably and visibly bowed down to wood and
-stone.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>For the hour, that little woman of weak bodily presence
-and commonplace intellect became the incarnation
-of Christianity seeking a lost world, and she herself was
-far greater to their thought than anything she could have
-said.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the end of her report, for it was that rather than
-appeal or address, she told the story of a high-caste
-Hindu woman to whom she had sought to give the gospel
-message. This woman had turned upon her with
-grave wonder and had asked, “How long have you
-known this? about this Jesus?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, for many years, all my life in fact.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>“Then,” said the woman, solemnly, “why did you not
-come to tell us before?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Without comment or enlargement, having told of this
-occurrence, the speaker turned and walked shyly from
-the platform, leaving an unusual hush in the assembly, as
-if an event, a result of some sort, were waited for.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Toward the end of the church, where she was seated
-with her mother, Anna Mallison rose in her place, made
-her way out into the middle aisle, and then, with her head
-a little bent, but her face neither pale nor agitated, walked
-quietly to the foot of the platform. Samuel Mallison,
-who was seated with Dr. Durham behind the pulpit,
-rose and stood, just above, as if to receive her, looking
-down with solemn eyes. Some one who saw Anna’s
-face said that, as she looked up into that of her father
-thus bent above her, the smile which suddenly illuminated
-it was beyond earthly beauty. It was a look in
-which two human spirits, and those father and child,
-purged as far as might be of earthliness, met in angelic
-interchange, pure and high.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Turning about, thus facing the great congregation,
-Anna, who had never before spoken in a public gathering
-of any sort, however small, said in a voice which
-was clear and distinct, though not loud:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I wish to offer myself to this society to go, if they
-will send me, to some heathen people, to tell them that
-Christ has died to save them. I am ready to go at once,
-if it is thought best.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The gravity and simplicity, and absence of self-consciousness,
-of the girl’s words and bearing, and the profound
-sympathy of the people who saw and heard her,
-combined to produce an overpowering impression. As
-the meeting broke up, women were weeping all over
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>the house, and sturdy unemotional men were deeply
-moved.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna, seeing that many would surround her and
-speak their sympathy or give their praise, which she
-dreaded and feared to hear, turned with swift steps to
-the door nearest her, and so escaped into the outer darkness
-of the night, no one following.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But, as she hurried with light steps across the village
-green and reached the parsonage gate, she found Mally
-waiting to waylay her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, Anna,” she cried, and her tears flowed fast,
-“you will go away from me, from all of us! How can
-you put this great distance between us?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How can I do anything else, Mally?” Anna answered
-softly. “It is what I have been waiting for; I
-think I was never truly happy until to-night. All my
-life before I have been unsatisfied, and something has
-ached and hurt whenever I stopped to feel it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And to-night you are really happy?” cried her
-friend, half enviously, and yet by no means drawn to
-devote herself to the medley of crocodiles, dark-skinned
-babies, and cars of Juggernaut, which signified India to
-her mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, at last!” Anna exclaimed, and with a long
-breath of relief. “Will it not bring peace, Mally, to
-know that I am surely doing His will? It will be like
-pure sunshine after living in a fog these past years.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then weren’t you really happy when you were converted
-and joined the church?” asked Mally, naïvely.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Partly. But just to be happy because you are saved
-yourself—why, it does not last. And you know, dear,
-we could never find anybody’s soul to work for here in
-Haran; at least, we didn’t know how,” and Anna became
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>silent, the vision of one solitary outcast coming
-before her, with whom she had been forbidden even to
-speak. But Mally refused to be comforted thus, and
-went her way with many tears.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There were more tears for Anna to encounter that
-night, for her mother came home broken-hearted. The
-Lord had answered her husband’s daily prayer, and had
-graciously chosen one of their own family to preach the
-gospel to the heathen, and the answered prayer was more
-than the loving soul could sustain. Like Jacob, she
-could get no farther than the wail, “If I am bereaved,
-I am bereaved.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Not so Samuel Mallison. Too long had he schooled
-himself to the sacrifice of his dearest human and earthly
-desires. The long discipline of his life stood him now
-in good stead. Coming into the room where Anna was
-vainly seeking to comfort her mother, he laid his hands
-in blessing on her head, and with a look upward which
-stilled the weeping woman, he pronounced the ancient
-words:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy word;</div>
- <div class='line'>For mine eyes have seen thy salvation.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>And yet Anna was the very apple of his eye. Of
-such fibre was the altruism of that rugged first growth.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER V</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Life! life! thou sea-fugue, writ from east to west,</div>
- <div class='line in10'>Love, Love alone can pore</div>
- <div class='line in10'>On thy dissolving score</div>
- <div class='line in10'>Of harsh half-phrasings,</div>
- <div class='line in12'>Blotted ere writ,</div>
- <div class='line in10'>And double erasings</div>
- <div class='line in12'>Of chords most fit.</div>
- <div class='line in42'>—<span class='sc'>Sidney Lanier.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>From the time of the missionary meeting and the
-announcement of his daughter’s determination to devote
-herself to the service of Christ in a heathen land, Samuel
-Mallison’s health declined rapidly. His <i><span lang="la" xml:lang="la">Nunc Dimittis</span></i>
-was of literal import, and prophetic.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Whether the death which all who loved him saw that
-he was soon to accomplish could be called dying of
-heart-break or dying of fulfilled desire, would have been
-hard to determine. Heart and flesh cried out against
-the separation from his best-beloved child, while the
-triumphant spirit blessed God for answered prayer, and
-for the fruition in that cherished life of his child of
-hopes and aspirations which had been but scantily fulfilled
-in his own.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have not been a successful man, Anna,” he said
-to her one autumn day when they were alone in his
-study. He sat erect in his straight chair, but with an
-unmistakable languor in every line of face and frame,
-and with a feverish brightness in his prominent dark
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna laid her hand upon his with endless gentleness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span>“No man in Haran is so beloved, father. No man
-has done so much good.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Perhaps,” he answered sadly, “and I am satisfied.
-It is the will of God. Anna, I have seemed, perhaps,
-cold and silent, and without feeling as you have seen me;
-but the fire within has burned unceasingly, and I am
-consumed.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The last words were spoken lower and with an unconscious
-pathos which moved Anna unspeakably.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I do not understand, father dear, not fully. Can
-you tell me all? I love you so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They were the simplest words of the most natural
-affection, and yet it was the first time in her life that
-Anna had spoken after this sort to her father.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“My girl,” he said simply, taking her hand within
-his own. Then, after a pause, he continued speaking.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is after this manner that life has gone with me.
-I believe I ought to retrace my past with you—for perhaps
-there may be light upon your path, if you know all.
-When I entered the ministry it was with sincerely right
-purpose; all the influences of my life pointed me in that
-direction, but it was, perhaps, more as an intellectual and
-congenial profession than from deeper reasons. I began
-my ministry, in 1841, in Boston. I was considered to
-have certain gifts which were valued in that day, and all
-went well, on the surface. But it was the period of a
-literary awakening in our nation, of which Boston was
-the centre of influence. An American literature was
-just becoming a visible reality, and a new impulse was at
-work and stirring everywhere. Men of original force
-were suddenly multiplied before us, and the contagion of
-intellectual ambition was felt in an altogether new degree.
-To me it became all-controlling. Transcendental philosophy,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>Platonism, and classic learning acquired for me
-a supreme attraction, and I gave myself more and more
-to the study of them, and to the translation of Greek
-poetry. This had no unfavourable effect upon my preaching
-in the opinion of my congregation, rather the reverse,
-and I may say without vanity that I had reached comparatively
-early a certain eminence to which I was by no
-means indifferent.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Samuel Mallison paused a moment, while Anna
-silently reflected that this narrative would in the end
-explain the buried books of her dear old garret delight.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Learning was young among us in those days,
-Anna,” Samuel Mallison began again humbly, after a
-little space, “else this would not have happened; in
-the year 1848 I received a call to a professorship of the
-Greek language and literature in Harvard College.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna felt her own young blood rush to her cheeks in
-pride and wonder and amazement. To her little-village
-simplicity and scanty experience this seemed a surpassing
-distinction, and one which placed her father among the
-great men of the earth.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The day after the mind of the authorities had been
-made known to me, was the day of my life which I
-remember best,” Samuel Mallison continued.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I went to my study that morning with a programme
-of what would take place somewhat definitely before
-my mind. I was about to seek, humbly and devoutly,
-an interview with God, in which I would lay before
-him this new and momentous opening in my life, and
-seek to have his will for me made clear. What this
-will would be, or what I should take it to be, was, just
-below the surface of my mind, a foregone conclusion.
-In fact, my letter of acceptance was substantially framed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span>in my mind already. I had never been favoured with
-voices and visions and revelations clear and conclusive
-in my religious experience, and I foresaw a decision
-based upon general reasonableness and preference,
-touched with a pleasant sense of the divine favour,
-which might naturally be expected to rest upon so
-congenial a course, and one so worthily justified by
-precedent. I read, as a preparatory exercise, with perfect
-satisfaction, the twelfth chapter of John’s Gospel,
-then closed my Bible and knelt in prayer. This was
-exactly as I had foreseen—an orderly series of exercises
-befitting my position. But, oh; how mechanical,
-how cold, how barren! With such perfunctory practices
-I could think to take leave of the sacred calling
-of the ministry, so dead had my spirit grown to the
-claims of the blessed gospel, and its mission of salvation
-to a lost and perishing world!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I knelt and thought to pray, but, like the king in
-‘Hamlet’, my words flew up, my thoughts remained
-below. Between me and Him whom I would have
-approached, interposed, like a palpable barrier, a solemn
-reiterated echo of words just read: ‘Verily, verily, I
-say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the
-ground and die, it abideth alone; but if it die, it bringeth
-forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall
-lose it.’</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I rose from my knees and walked up and down the
-room in great anxiety of spirit. This new work which
-I thought to undertake was educational, ennobling, necessary;
-in no way contrary to sound doctrine, in no
-way a betrayal of sacred responsibility; I was fitted for
-it by nature, by tastes, and attainments. Why was it
-opened to me? To mock me? to tempt? I could
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>not believe it, I had welcomed it as coming in the providence
-of God.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“But my heart-searching grew swift and deep, and
-it was given me to see the absoluteness, the finality, of
-the vows which I had assumed, from which I straightway
-realized that no argument of those with which I
-was equipped sufficed to release me. Feebly and imperfectly,
-yet sensibly, I began to grasp the import of
-what the apostle calls the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings,
-the being made conformable unto his death. Oh,
-the depth of the mystery hid in that saying! All these
-years I have sounded it—Anna, all these years I have
-died, in my own natural life—I have striven to give all
-I had to give, but the ‘much fruit’—where has it
-been?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>An expression of pain, hardly less than agony, was
-impressed upon Samuel Mallison’s face, and Anna hid
-her eyes, finding it too bitter to bear to see him suffer
-thus.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I put it all away from me, then and there. Nothing
-was possible but for me to decline the invitation which
-had been given, you can see. Further, I saw that my
-studies had been my snare. My love of poetry and
-philosophy and learning, the prominence of my pulpit,
-the social and intellectual affinities I had formed, all had
-contributed to my spiritual deadness and decline. It
-was then that I put away in that box, now upstairs, the
-books which had particularly ministered to the tastes
-which had led me so far from the true conception of my
-life work. Never since that day have I allowed myself
-to follow the instinct for poetic expression. That longing
-had to be cut out, even if some life-blood flowed in
-the doing it. Henceforth, I wished to know nothing
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span>but Christ, and him—Anna, do not fail to grasp this—him,
-not triumphant, but <em>crucified</em>. The offence of
-the cross to the natural spirit, how hardly can it be overcome!
-No child’s play, no easy and harmonious growth
-in grace, has it been to me, but a conflict all the way.
-Your mother has a different type of religious life. Be
-thankful if her temperament shall prove to be yours.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That is the story. I left my church not very long
-after and sought this rugged, remote section, because it
-offered hard work and a needy field, which some men
-shunned. Some years before I had met your mother, and
-we were married. Twenty years of my life and its best
-activity have been spent here in Haran. Those first
-few years and what made life to me in them I have looked
-upon as a false start. From that day, I sought only this
-one gift: an especial enduement of the Holy Spirit to
-give me power with men unto salvation. I desired this
-gift supremely, but I have not received it in any signal
-manner. My ministry has not been wholly unfruitful,
-but it has been lacking in the results for which I hoped;
-I have not had power with God and men, as have some
-of my more favoured brethren. The end is near now,
-very near, but I come with almost empty hands and a
-humbled, contrite heart to meet my Judge. But, my
-child, whatever the conflicts of the past years, the last
-thing which I could wish for to-day would be to have
-reversed that early decision. My life, from the merely
-human point of view, might, perhaps, on the line of intellectual
-effort have been counted successful, while as a
-minister of Christ it has not been so to any marked degree:
-but what is success, and what failure, when the
-things of time fade before our eyes?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Samuel Mallison’s head drooped upon one supporting
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>hand, and an expression of solemn musing rested on his
-face, while Anna’s tears flowed fast.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Just to do our own little day’s work faithfully, not
-knowing what its part may be in the great whole, just
-to hold fast to the word of God and the testimony of
-Jesus, and, having begun the race, to continue to the end—is
-not this enough?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was silence between them for some moments,
-and then the father said, making a sign to Anna to
-rise:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I want you to leave me now, dear child. I must
-rest. The one earthly hope to which I still cling is that
-to you may be given the reward of ‘much fruit,’ which
-I have failed to win. Remember this, if all the other
-teaching I have given you shall be forgotten in the years
-which are to try you, of what stuff you are made: <em>with
-greatness we have nothing at all to do; faithfulness only is
-our part</em>.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna Mallison listened to these words with reverent
-sympathy and loving response, but the deeper meaning
-of them did not reveal itself to her, her time for perception
-being not yet fully come.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER VI</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>O Joy, hast thou a shape?</div>
- <div class='line'>Hast thou a breath?</div>
- <div class='line'>How fillest thou the soundless air?</div>
- <div class='line'>Tell me the pillars of thy house!</div>
- <div class='line'>What rest they on? Do they escape</div>
- <div class='line'>The victory of Death?</div>
- <div class='line in30'>—H. H.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>In the largest theatre of the New England city of
-Springfield on a night in December, an immense assembly
-of people was gathered. Every gallery was crowded
-to its utmost, and the house, from floor to roof, was a
-dense mass of human beings. On the stage were musical
-instruments, but the customary scenery was withdrawn,
-save that the background showed a Neapolitan
-villa situated on the slope of a Swiss mountain, at the
-base of which an ultramarine ocean heaved stormily.
-Against the incongruity of this unstable structure were
-massed several hundred men and women, and before
-them a musical leader, baton in hand. At an appointed
-signal the great chorus stood, and with them, at the gesture
-of a man, himself seated near the centre of the foreground
-of the stage, the whole audience, with a rushing
-sound like the sea or the wind, rose also.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then there was sung by the chorus, with trained perfection,
-an old hymn, the words of which, as well as the
-melody, were of quaint and almost childish simplicity:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Alas, and did my Saviour bleed?</div>
- <div class='line in2'>And did my Sovereign die?</div>
- <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span>Would he devote that sacred head</div>
- <div class='line in2'>For such a worm as I?</div>
- <div class='line'>Was it for crimes that I had done</div>
- <div class='line in2'>He groaned upon the tree?</div>
- <div class='line'>Amazing pity, grace unknown,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>And love beyond degree.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>With a swift motion of his baton the leader indicated
-that the whole assembly was to join in singing the refrain,
-in lowered voices. There followed in a deep murmur
-of a pathos quite indescribable:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Remember me, remember me,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Oh, Lord, remember me!</div>
- <div class='line'>And when thou sittest on thy throne</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Dear Lord, remember me.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the close of this hymn many people in all parts of
-the house were in tears, but the hush of motionless silence
-following was complete, and the eyes of all were riveted
-upon that central figure on the stage, the man who now
-rose and, advancing to the front, began to address them.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This man was of majestic personal presence and his
-speech was with marked power. Thinly veiled under a
-manner of unusual restraint and quietness lay a genius
-for emotional appeal and for persuasion. There was in
-his manner and speech an utter absence of excitability,
-and yet a quality which excited; a capacity for impassioned
-eloquence, apparently controlled and held back
-by the speaker’s will. The congregation listened with
-absorbed attention.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the close of the address, which was designed to
-move all the impenitent or irresolute persons present to
-an immediate confession of their need of a Saviour, the
-speaker asked those of this class who were present and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>were so inclined to advance and take certain seats,
-directly in front of the stage, which had been reserved
-for them.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A close observer would have been interested in watching
-the man as this part of the evening’s work was
-ushered in. The restrained intensity of his manner was
-noticeably augmented; his eyes moved slowly and searchingly
-from one part of the house to another with a gaze
-which no trifler and no awakened soul might escape.
-The expression of his face was sternly solemn, even
-tragical, as of one undergoing an actual travail of spirit.
-He stood absolutely motionless save for a single and
-significant gesture of his right hand, an upward gesture
-made with peculiar slowness and with dramatic effect.
-It was at once entreating, subduing, and commanding.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the first moment no person stirred; but presently,
-as if drawn by an irresistible magnetism, a stream of
-men and women could be seen advancing down the various
-aisles, with fixed look, pallid faces, and sometimes
-with tears. Upon such the speaker bent a look of gentleness
-and encouragement, in which his features would
-be momentarily relaxed, only to resume the profound
-solemnity already spoken of, as he lifted his eyes again
-to the unmoved masses still confronting him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The chorus, without rising, now chanted softly the
-words of vivid appeal:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Why not to-night? Why not to-night?</div>
- <div class='line'>Thou wouldst be saved, why not to-night?”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>Many moments passed. The company of seekers
-now numbered a hundred. Beneath the absolute outward
-restraint which held all, an inner excitement grew
-steadily in intensity, and the subtle contagion of “the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>crowd” assumed an irresistible sway. It might have
-become alarming. It possessed elements of terror just
-below the surface. A climax was reached when a man
-of gigantic frame and brutalized features, in the upper
-gallery, stepped forward, and with a gesture rude and
-almost wild, flung out his arms toward the evangelist,
-and called through the silence of the place:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I give in—you knew I’d have to. Yes, I’m
-comin’.” And then, turning, clattered down the bare
-gallery stairs, only to reappear presently below, with his
-coarse head bent and big tears flowing down his purple
-cheeks.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gradually the stream of seekers abated, and the aisles
-became empty. Thus far no word of appeal or warning
-had been added to the sermon; save for the restrained
-monotony of the music this extraordinary scene
-had taken place in complete silence.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then the speaker’s voice was heard again, and in it
-was a strange emotional quality which had been previously
-unnoticed, and before which the pride and will of
-many melted within them.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The people of this company are dismissed to their
-homes,” he said, in gentle, measured tones; “my work
-now is for those who have feared God rather than men.
-They will remain. Let all others go without unnecessary
-delay, or stopping for speech with one another.
-The Spirit is here.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The benediction followed, but as they broke up, scores
-hitherto irresolute turned and joined the company of
-seekers in the front of the house.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When the speaker, the house being otherwise emptied,
-came down to the anxious and disquieted little
-company waiting for his guidance, he stood before them
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>in silence for a little space, and then, turning to a group
-of clergymen who were associated with him, he said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Pardon me, but I believe I will leave these friends
-in your hands, brethren. I wish to return immediately
-to my lodging,” and saying nothing further in explanation
-or apology, he departed, with evident haste.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When he reached the lobby of the theatre he found
-three men watching who hastened toward him, their
-spokesman, with outstretched hand, introducing himself
-and his companions and adding, with eager cordiality:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“This is so much better than we expected. We
-were prepared to wait for you some time.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The man received the greeting gravely, and, indeed,
-silently.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Will you come with us now to our hotel? We
-wish to confer with you. We have come from New
-York for that purpose.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Will you not let me know what you wish here, at
-once?” was the rejoinder. “I am in some haste.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Certainly, certainly, if you prefer it,” said the other,
-cheerfully, hiding a shade of discomfiture. Then, with
-a change to serious emphasis, he proceeded: “We
-want you to undertake a work in New York this winter,
-as soon as possible, in fact. A large group of prominent
-churches is ready to unite in the movement, and unlimited
-resources will be placed at your disposal. Your own
-compensation, pardon me for alluding to it, will be anything
-you will name—that is a matter of indifference to
-the committee, save that it be large enough. We are
-ready to build you a tabernacle two hundred feet square,—larger
-if you like.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The man addressed involuntarily laid his hand on his
-breast; a letter in the pocket under his hand, from Chicago,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>specified a tabernacle three hundred feet square.
-He smiled slightly; even religious zeal was a size larger
-in Chicago than elsewhere.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Further details were mentioned, but the evangelist
-seemed to give them a forced and mechanical attention.
-Then, rather suddenly, he broke in with a word of
-apology.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am fully sensible, gentlemen,” he went on, “of
-the confidence you have manifested in me, and I would,
-under other conditions, have accepted your proposition.
-But the very circumstance of your making it to-night
-hastens an action on my part which I have been approaching,
-but had not, until now, definitely determined
-upon. I am about to withdraw from this work, and can
-form no engagements, however promising. I shall close
-the meetings here as soon as I can honourably do so, and
-these meetings are, for the present certainly, my last.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The blank faces of the three men before him seemed
-to demand a word or two more.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“My reasons?” he asked with curt and almost chilling
-brevity. “Pardon me. They are personal to
-myself. Good evening. No one can regret your disappointment
-more than I.” With these words the
-speaker turned abruptly from the little group and left
-the theatre. In great amazement and perplexity the
-committee of three presently followed his example.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Here was an accredited and earnest man, no irresponsible
-religious tramp, who possessed, apparently in a
-superlative degree, the gift of winning souls for which
-Samuel Mallison had given his all, if in vain, and for
-lack of which he might fairly be said to be dying, being
-one who could have lived on spiritual joy, if such had
-ever been his portion. And this man, possessing this
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>coveted and crowning religious endowment, was deliberately
-putting it aside, and refusing to use it. What
-did it signify?</p>
-
-<hr class='c012' />
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna Mallison had left Haran, in its ice-bound valley,
-early that morning, and, by travelling through snowdrifts
-in a sleigh all the forenoon, had been favoured to get
-as far as Springfield on her journey, at nine o’clock of
-that same evening. She was bound for Boston, where she
-was to go before the missionary board to be examined as
-to her fitness and promise for a worker on the “foreign
-field.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the Springfield station Anna had been met by the
-little missionary lady whom she had heard and met in
-Haran on her night of great decision. By her she had
-been conducted to a hotel, shown to a room, affectionately
-if reticently counselled, and then left to sleep and
-be ready for another early start on the following morning.
-It was the first time Anna had ever been in a city,
-and she was bewildered by the noise and lights in the
-streets through which she had been hurriedly driven.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Left alone, she looked about her at the stiff order of
-the narrow hotel chamber, the first she had ever inhabited,
-the showy, shabby carpet, the cheap carvings of
-the furniture, the long mirror in which she herself stood,
-still and dreary, and a rushing wave of heart-sickness
-swept over her. Her anxiety for her father became
-suddenly poignant; a sense of the sadness of his life
-tore her heart with fierce pain: she realized now, as
-she had failed to before, how fast his strength declined.
-She longed to know how that moment fared with him,
-and how the next would. A wild purpose seized her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>to return the next morning to Haran, and let all other
-purposes go until some later time.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>However, in spite of all this anxiety and doubt,
-Anna’s physical weariness was sufficient to bring sleep
-apace, when once her head was on the pillow, and all
-the distant murmur of the city and the sudden, uncomprehended
-noises of the great house were soon lost to
-her. Thus she failed to hear a man who entered the
-room next to hers within the same hour, who closed the
-door with some emphasis and locked it fast; who, after
-that, walked up and down within the narrow limits of
-that room with uniform, slow step, and who continued
-to do this until the December dawn filtered through the
-dim windows. All was still in that next room when
-Anna awoke. The anxiety and homesickness of the
-night before were gone, and in their place was that
-mysterious joy which once before on a June night had
-strangely visited her. Again, in her dream, she had
-seen the face which ever since had dominated her; as
-before, it was majestic, free, and strong. As before, it
-had bent to her,—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Bent down and smiled.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>She rose hastily, glad and awed and greatly wondering.
-At six o’clock she was ready and went down to
-the great dining-hall, dark save for the wan light of a
-single gas jet under which she sat down, silent and
-alone, and was served by a heavy-eyed, untidy man-servant,
-with an indifferent breakfast. She swallowed
-a few mouthfuls by force of will, then gathered up her
-humble belongings, and started out alone into the icy
-chill of the grey morning. It was too early for her
-friend from the Orient to brave the rigours of the unaccustomed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>winter. It was all comfortless, dreary, and
-inauspicious; small cheer for a young girl starting on
-such an errand, but there was no sinking now of her
-spirit. She walked to the Springfield station in the light
-and warmth of that inexplicable radiance of her dream,
-and so pursued her journey to Boston.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c013'>
- <div>FROM ANNA MALLISON’S NOTE-BOOK</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c014'>Do you believe in the mutual penetration of mind? Do you
-believe that, independent of word and voice, independent of
-distance, from one end of the world to the other, minds can influence
-and penetrate one another?... Do you not know a
-soul can feel within it another soul which touches it?</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r c013'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>—<span class='sc'>Père Gratry.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'><em>January 28, 1870.</em>—A week to-day since my father
-was buried. It is late at night, and I have come up to
-my little roof room, but I cannot sleep. I have been
-with my mother, and we have cried together, until she
-sleeps at last, so tired, and her dear face changed so
-sadly that, as she slept, I was almost afraid. And yet
-she is greatly upheld, and as gentle and uncomplaining
-as it is possible to be.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But for me, knowing my father, and trying to find
-the meaning of his life, these days give me less grief
-than wonder and perplexity. For a time after my
-father told me the story of his past, after I knew what
-he might have been, knew his great renunciation, his
-utter humility, his leaving all to seek one only thing,
-and that a gift for others, and even that being denied
-him, so that to himself his life seemed a failure, and
-its supreme sacrifice unsanctioned and unblessed—after
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>this I could hardly bear the heart-break of it all. So
-pure, so blameless, so devoted a life, and yet, to his own
-thought, so unfruitful. Just a narrow little village
-church, with its narrow little victories and defeats, and
-its monotony of spiritual ebb and flow—this was the
-sum of his achievement. Was it not hard of God?
-This he would not have said, but my undisciplined heart
-has cried out in bitterness and rebellion. I have been
-in deep doubt and darkness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>To-night it is given me to see it all in light, and I am
-reconciled. The word which changed my father’s life
-was that great word of the Master, “Except a corn of
-wheat fall into the ground and <em>die</em>, it abideth alone.”
-That dying, the utterness of it, was what we did not
-comprehend. I think my father understood before he
-left us, although he could not express it. But all along
-he had felt that in dying in his own personal life to the
-world and to his ambition, he was meeting the condition,
-and that in his own personal life the fruits of that
-death were to be manifest, that he should be set for the
-salvation of many. But God sees not with our short
-vision. Days with him are years, and years days; and
-our whole life but a vapour, which appeareth for a little
-time, and then vanisheth away.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This has come to me: My father’s sacrifice has borne
-in the life of one of his children, if not in all, the fruit
-of an especial dedication of that life to the service of
-God. If he had not been the man he was, if he had
-not laid down his life daily and hourly in humble self-surrender
-to the Divine Will, never, never should I have
-dreamed of giving myself to the work to which I am
-now pledged. His life, in its deepest working, had been
-wrought into mine, so that unconsciously I willed to be
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>what he would have willed to have me. So, then, it is
-no more I alone, but the spirit, the will, the nature of
-my father that worketh in me.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The God of my father—this phrase, so common, so
-almost commonplace before, has suddenly taken to itself
-an extraordinary significance. My father’s God, my
-God, who began in my father’s willing sacrifice of all
-the noblest powers of his manhood his purpose of grace,
-will now, in his good pleasure, carry on the one work,
-the same so begun, through me, all unworthy as I am,
-timid, trembling, but a child. A child, and yet called
-with this high calling; child of a saint, called solemnly,
-sacredly, in the very depths of my being, deeper than I
-feel, higher than I know, to be my father’s child, to be
-the continuance, the fulfilment of his dying life, to finish
-what he began, to bring to fruitage the seed he died
-to sow. How sublime, how sweet, how awful the vocation
-wherewith I am called!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then look upon me, O my God, my father’s God!
-Behold my weakness; raise it into power; turn my dull
-mind to light, my hard and narrow heart to a flame of
-love; make me thy minister, thy messenger, fulfil in me
-all thy great will.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><em>February 20.</em>—To-night I am alone in the old home,
-not <em>our</em> home any more. It is stripped already of all that
-made it home, but, bare and grim as it is, I love it, and
-leave it with a sorrow my heart is yet too tired to realize.
-They have consented to let me sleep this one last night
-in my own little room. This poor bed is to be left,
-being not worth removing, and all that clothes it goes
-with me. So, like a pilgrim, under a tent roof for a
-single night, I lie alone, and look up beyond the dear old
-gable and see the winter stars.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>They shine upon his grave, and the snow already has
-drifted over it, and my heart bleeds. Why will they not
-let us pray for our dead as the Romish people do? Oh,
-kind little father, gone what dim, dazzling way I do not
-know, will they let you be happy at last? Will God let
-you <em>see why</em>?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><em>February 21.</em>—It was a strange night, and yet most
-beautiful.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>I hardly slept, but prayed until nearly dawn. Then
-I slept a short time, and woke to find my limbs racked
-with pain from the bitter chill of the room, and tears
-running down my face. Almost as if I were carrying
-out an order given me in my sleep, I hurried on my
-clothing, and, taking my candle, came down the stairs,
-both flights, through the empty, echoing house, to the
-rooms below. I was so cold that I shook from head to
-foot. Then I found in the kitchen wood left from our
-store, and I brought it into the east room, the parlour,
-where we laid my father after his death, and where I had
-sat beside his dear form each night. The great fireplace
-was bare and empty, like the room, but the andirons
-were left.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>I laid the wood across and started the fire, and it
-blazed and gave light, and threw strange shadows about
-the room, and I kneeled beside it, on the hearth, as I
-used sometimes when I was a little child, and warmed
-my hands, and still I cried, and there was no one to
-comfort me.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mally says she would have been afraid—in that
-room. I cannot understand. It is because her dearest
-have not died. What of him could have been anything
-but precious? To have felt his spirit near me!
-That would indeed have been holy consolation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>But what if that were true? I do not know. While
-I so crouched in the chimney corner, my heart bleeding,
-and the tears bathing my poor face, there was a soft
-touch, lighter than the flight of a thistledown, passing
-over my head, as if the gentlest hand God himself could
-make gentle had smoothed my hair, and sought to comfort
-me.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then some one said: “I came here to be with you.”
-But I do not know whether it was I who so said in my
-own heart, or whether the words were spoken to my ear.
-I only know that I was comforted, and the fire warmed
-my aching limbs, and my head drooped against the wall,
-and I slept with long sobs, as I slept once when I was
-a child, and my dear father ministered to me.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was broad daylight when I awoke, and I felt soothed
-and strong. I rose to go and make ready to lock and
-leave the house. But first I knelt and prayed, and I am
-praying still.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Live in me, O God, as my father lives in me, and as
-thou didst live in him. Let me live the life and die
-the death which he sought to live, to die, for thee.
-Give thou unto him through me abiding fruit in the
-salvation of souls; and grant us such grace as that we
-may humbly and worthily fulfil thy gracious will, I
-on earth, as he in heaven.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER VII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>She [Dorothea] could not reconcile the anxieties of a spiritual life involving
-eternal consequences, with a keen interest in gimp, and artificial protrusions of
-drapery.—<cite>Middlemarch</cite>, <span class='sc'>George Eliot</span>.</p>
-
-<p class='c010'>A small house in a small street of a small provincial
-city. A faded brown house with its front door directly
-on the street, the steps jutting into the sidewalk. A
-narrow strip of yard overlaid with grimy snow separated
-this house from others on either side, equally unnotable
-and uninteresting, the dwellings of mechanics and small
-tradesmen.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was the close of a rough March day, the wind had
-not died with sunsetting, and a thin, piercing rain, colder
-than snow, was driven before it into the very teeth of
-the few passers-by.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A tall woman, in a straight black dress with a dyed
-black shawl drawn tightly around her shoulders, was
-making her way down the street dead against the wind,
-which beat her hair out into wet strands and bound her
-skirts hard about the slender long limbs. She made no
-useless attempt to hold an umbrella; in fact, she carried
-none, but was heavily burdened with four or five large
-books. She was girlish in figure after a severe sort, her
-step steady, her movement without impatience or fluttering,
-in spite of the struggle with the wind. Seeing her
-face, the absorbedness of sorrow in it was profound
-enough to explain indifference to sharper buffetings than
-those of the wind. It was Anna Mallison.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span>When she reached the house she deposited her books
-on the icy step and drew from her pocket with stiffened,
-aching fingers a key with which she unlocked the door.
-The house was unlighted, and its close, airless precincts
-apparently empty.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Stooping, Anna gathered her books again and closed
-the door, then groped her way to a steep staircase, a
-weary sigh escaping her as if in spite of herself. The
-room which she entered, silent and dark at her coming,
-showed itself, when she had lighted a lamp, a low but
-spacious living room, stiffly and even meagrely furnished.
-Opening beyond it was a smaller bedroom.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Having laid aside shawl and bonnet, Anna made preparation
-for a simple evening meal for two persons. Not
-until these were made did she stop to realize that she
-was chilled and that her shoes were wet through. Characteristically
-it was of the shoes she took cognizance
-rather than of her feet—circumstances having thus far
-led her to regard health as an easier thing to acquire than
-food and raiment.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a sudden outburst now, from below, of
-merry voices, both a man’s voice and a girl’s, in loud
-and cheerful banter, then the house door shut with a
-bang, there was a quick step on the stairs, and a gay,
-fluttering, wind-blown figure of a pretty girl appeared in
-the upper sitting room. It was Mally Loveland, Anna’s
-early Haran friend and companion.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Holloa, Anna!” she called lightly, “lucky for me
-you got in first! A fire is a good thing, I tell you, on a
-night like this.” Mally’s voice had acquired a new ring
-of self-confident vivacity.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You’re a little late, Mally,” remarked Anna, quietly,
-as she returned to the room. “Shall I make tea?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_57'>57</span>“Oh, yes, do; there’s a dear. Oh, such fun as we’ve
-been having at the Allens’! But I’m so chilly and damp,
-you know; and just look, Anna, at the ribbons on my
-hat.” Mally held up to view a pretentious structure of
-ribbon and velvet which had plainly suffered many things
-of the elements.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Too bad. I hope you won’t go out again to-night,
-your cold was so bad yesterday. It is a wretched night.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, I must go out, my dear—must indeed!
-Couldn’t disappoint the girls, you know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Nor even the boys?” asked Anna smiling.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mally laughed at this, evidently pleased. In a few
-moments she was ready and they took their places at
-the tea-table, Mally quieting herself with an effort, in
-order to ask a brief blessing upon the meal. It was
-her turn to-night. The two coöperated in their religious
-exercises of a general character, as well as in their
-housekeeping.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Destiny, so eagerly challenged by these two village
-girls in the eventless isolation of their life in Haran,
-seemed at last to have declared itself decisively: both
-were to catch men,—Anna in the apostolic sense, Mally
-in a different one.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna’s journey to Boston, three months earlier, had
-been successful. She had returned under appointment
-as a missionary to India; but being still too young to go
-out, the Board had advised her to spend the following
-two years in studies especially designed to develop her
-usefulness in work among the heathen. In January
-Samuel Mallison had died. The parsonage, where the
-children had been born and nurtured, could thus no
-longer be their home. It must be made ready now for a
-successor.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_58'>58</span>It had been a sorrowful breaking up, and when the
-melancholy work was done, and the home effaced forever,
-the mother, patient and uncomplaining, departed
-with Lucia to the lonely farmhouse among the hills, to
-take on again, in her later years of life, the many cares
-of tending little children. It was then that Anna,
-accompanied by her friend Mally, had come to Burlington
-with the purpose of studying at a collegiate institute,
-which offered opportunity for more advanced study than
-could be had in Haran. Anna was hard at work every
-morning on Paley’s “Evidences” and Butler’s “Analogy,”
-while her afternoons were spent in the small hospital of
-the town, in an informal nurses’ class, as it was even
-then considered a useful thing for missionaries to go out
-with some equipment for healing the bodies of men as
-well as their souls. Mally, by her own account, was
-“taking” music, painting, and French.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As they sat at their little table now, with its meagre
-and humble fare, but its indefinable expression of refinement,
-Anna and Mally were in striking contrast.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It has been said before that Anna matured slowly.
-There was still in her face, despite its sadness, the grave
-wonder, the artless simplicity, and the sweet unconsciousness
-of a child. Her figure was angular and undeveloped;
-her black dress, absolutely, harshly plain, and of coarse
-stuff; her face, far too thin and colourless for beauty.
-She was, plainly, underfed and overworked; but there
-was, nevertheless, a dignity and a distinction in her
-aspect which emphasized Mally’s provincialness, notwithstanding
-the little fashionable touches about dress
-and coiffure which the latter had swiftly and instinctively
-adapted to her own use.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had the repose of a person who is not concerned
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_59'>59</span>at all as to the impression she makes, or desirous
-of making any personal impression whatever. Mally
-had the restlessness, the vivacity, the eagerness, of a
-woman who wishes everywhere and at every time to
-make herself felt, to be the central figure. She was
-born an egotist, and even “divine grace,” in the devotional
-phraseology of that time, had not been sufficient to
-overcome her natural bent. At the present time, in fact,
-egotism was having comparatively easy work with her,
-and an indefinite truce with the religious conflicts of earlier
-days had been tacitly declared. That spiritual experience
-had been sincere, and it had lasted several years.
-Fortunately, to Mally’s unspoken thought, she had been
-favoured during those years to work out her salvation,
-which was now, according to a prime doctrine of the
-church, secured to her against all accidents. This being
-so, no one need be concerned for her; and if she were
-herself satisfied with a low spiritual attainment, it was
-nobody’s business but her own.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She had, to her own naïve surprise, met with a marked
-degree of social success in a certain middle-class stratum
-of the small town. She was pretty, clever, adaptive; the
-young men and women of her set said she was “such
-good company.” This was high praise. In Haran the
-natural order for a marriageable girl was to be soberly
-and decorously and protractedly wooed by one young
-man, to whom, in process of time, she was married.
-Here Mally found a far more stimulating social condition.
-Not one man, but many, might be the portion of
-a popular girl, and Mally found the strength of numbers
-very great. The sex instinct, the ruling desire to attract
-men, sprang into vigorous action, and became, for a time
-at least, predominant. Women of whom this is true
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_60'>60</span>are often very good women, with energy and common
-sense, but it is important for their friends, for various
-reasons, to hold the master key to their character.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna Mallison, at this period of her life as sexless in
-her conscious life as a star, looked on at this rapid and
-unlooked-for development of Mally’s nature in infinite
-perplexity. She had always liked certain men, even outside
-her own kindred, but it was because they were wise
-or good or sincere, not because they were men. A thirst
-for admiration being thus far undeclared in her own life,
-Mally became inexplicable to her; she did not hold the
-key to her character, and involuntarily she withdrew
-more and more into herself, her only friend becoming
-thus uncomprehended. If she felt this in any degree,
-Mally, being closely occupied with more tangible consideration,
-paid small heed to it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>While they were taking tea, Anna kept her eyes fixed
-on the mantel clock, and, having eaten hastily, rose from
-her place.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What is the matter?” asked Mally, looking up.
-“Oh, of course; but, dear me, Anna, I never would bother
-to get things ready for old Marm Wilson, after the way
-she grumbles at you. Sit down, do. You’ll never get
-any thanks, I can tell you that; and what’s the use?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna was at the door already. “I think it’s late
-enough now to be safe. She only grumbles, you know,
-if the oil and wood burn out awhile before she gets here.
-She was to work quite near on Hill Street, to-day, so she
-will surely be in early.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, well, go on if you’ve a mind to. I suppose it
-is forlorn on a night like this for the poor old creature to
-find her house all dark and cold,” Mally spoke carelessly,
-half to herself. Anna was already half-way downstairs.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_61'>61</span>Mrs. Wilson was their houseowner, a seamstress of
-narrow means and narrower life whose upper rooms they
-rented.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>An hour later the upper sitting room was suddenly
-enlivened and almost filled, as far as seating capacity was
-concerned, by a group of Mally’s friends, who had come
-to escort her to an evening gathering. These young
-men and maidens, whom Anna had scarcely seen before,
-seemed to explain the new Mally to her, and to place
-her at a different angle, as one of a class, not one by herself.
-The girls all wore a profusion of ribbons and
-curls, and were all in an effervescence of noisy excitement
-regarding the effect of the dampness on their hair
-and their finery; they whispered and giggled together,
-and pouted at the young men, or tossed their heads and
-assumed exaggerated airs of being shocked at the personal
-remarks which these attendants volunteered, and
-with which they were, in fact, palpably delighted.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna, who attempted some quiet civilities from time
-to time, was regarded with undisguised indifference, as
-not being “one of the set.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>After the young people had left the house, however,
-Mally’s companion on their expedition, a young man
-somewhat above the others in intelligence, said to her:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What an unusual girl that friend of yours, that Miss
-Mallison, is. I never met any one just like her. She
-strikes me as a girl who would keep a fellow at a mighty
-distance; but if she ever did care for him, he wouldn’t
-mind dying for her, you know, and all that sort of thing.
-But she isn’t one of the kind you like to play games
-with.”</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_62'>62</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER VIII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>She was a queen of noble Nature’s crowning,</div>
- <div class='line'>A smile of hers was like an act of grace;</div>
- <div class='line'>She had no winsome looks, no pretty frowning,</div>
- <div class='line'>Like daily beauties of the vulgar race;</div>
- <div class='line'>But, if she smiled, a light was on her face,</div>
- <div class='line'>A clear, cool kindliness, a lunar beam</div>
- <div class='line'>Of peaceful radiance.</div>
- <div class='line in36'>—<span class='sc'>Hartley Coleridge.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>To the surprise of both the friends, Anna, who had
-gone about her rigorous tasks unseen and unnoted hitherto,
-began about this time to come into a certain comparative
-prominence in the quiet little city.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A day or two after the evening described in the last
-chapter, Anna received a note from Mrs. Ingraham, the
-wife of a distinguished citizen of the town, a man of
-great wealth, and a well-known senator. The Ingrahams
-were, perhaps, the most highly placed family in
-the little town, by right of distinguished antecedents, of
-wealth, and of habit of life. They belonged to that
-singularly privileged class, which Anna Mallison had
-not hitherto encountered, who have both will and
-power to appropriate the most select of all things which
-minister to the individual development, whether things
-material, things intellectual, or things spiritual. Thus
-Mrs. Ingraham and her daughters were women of fashion,
-prominent figures at the state functions of their
-own state, and well known in the inner circles of
-Washington society. They dressed superlatively well
-in clothes that came from Paris. At the same time
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_63'>63</span>they were as much at home among literary as among
-fashionable folk, and Mrs. Ingraham at least was understood
-to be devotedly religious, with an especial penchant
-for foreign missions. In fine, all things were
-theirs.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thus it was an event for Anna Mallison, in her dull,
-low-ceiled upper room, to open and read the note of
-Mrs. Senator Ingraham to herself,—a note written in
-graceful, flowing hand, on sumptuous, ivorylike paper,
-squarely folded, with a crest on the seal, and the faintest
-suggestion of violets escaping almost before perceived.
-The note was delicately courteous, a marvel of gracious
-tact. Mrs. Ingraham had heard through a friend that
-Miss Mallison was under appointment as a missionary to
-India, and had sincerely wished to meet her. On Friday
-evening a dear Christian worker from Boston, now
-her guest, was to hold a little parlour meeting at the
-house for the help and encouragement of friends who
-were interested in a higher Christian life. Would not
-Miss Mallison give them all the pleasure of making one
-of that number? Mrs. Ingraham would esteem it a
-personal favour; and if Miss Mallison felt that she
-could tell the little company something of the experience
-she had had in being led into this beautiful life work,
-it would be most acceptable. However, this
-was by no means urged, but merely suggested and left
-entirely to Miss Mallison’s preference.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The man who had brought the note waited on the
-narrow walk below for Anna’s answer. He wore a
-sober but handsome livery.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This was the first invitation of the kind which Anna
-had received, but she had now somewhat accustomed
-herself, by the advice of the Board, to speaking in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_64'>64</span>women’s missionary meetings, and it seemed to her
-right to say yes. Accordingly, on untinted note-paper
-of a very common grade, she said yes in a natural and
-simple way, and made haste to give the note to the
-man at the door below, whom she felt distressed to keep
-waiting.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This man removed his shining hat in respectful
-acknowledgment as he took the note, and told Anna
-that Mrs. Ingraham had asked him to say, having forgotten
-to mention it in her note, that in case Miss
-Mallison would be so kind as to come, Mrs. Ingraham
-would send the carriage for her at half-past seven on
-Friday evening.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna felt that she ought to deprecate so much attention,
-and timidly attempted to do so; but the man plainly
-was not further empowered to treat in the matter, and,
-bowing respectfully, departed with Anna’s pallid, long
-and narrow envelope in his well-gloved hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When Mally came in, Anna handed her Mrs. Ingraham’s
-note. Mally’s face flushed noticeably as she read
-it. It was not easy for her to have her quiet friend thus
-preferred.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You’ll go, of course?” she commented rather coldly,
-as she handed it back.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I should think you would by all means. Who
-wouldn’t? I’ve heard lots about Mrs. Ingraham; she
-believes in a very high religious life, you know, and those
-rich higher-life people live high, I can tell you. There’ll
-be a supper, depend on that, and it will be a fine one.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, I don’t think there will be anything of that
-kind,” interposed Anna, hastily.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You see!” cried Mally, with an air of superior
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_65'>65</span>wisdom and wide social experience. “Oh my! if I
-should tell you all I’ve heard about those Ingrahams,
-you’d be surprised. One night they have a prayer-meeting
-and the next night a dance. It’s all right, I
-suppose. Kind of new, that’s all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>On the following evening, when the luxurious Ingraham
-carriage was driven up before Mrs. Wilson’s poor
-little house, many eyes peered narrowly from neighbours’
-windows to catch the unwonted sight; and Anna, slipping
-hastily out of the Wilson door, felt an access of
-humility in this exaltation of herself, for such she knew
-it seemed to her neighbours, transient though it was.
-She had suffered a guilty and apologetic consciousness
-all day toward Mally, who had treated her with a
-slight coolness and indifference, which afflicted Anna
-keenly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When Anna entered the hall of the Ingraham house,
-a small, stout woman, in a brown dress and smooth hair,
-came out to greet her, and took her hand between both
-her own, which were white and soft and heavily weighted
-with diamonds. Anna found the diamonds confusing,
-but she knew the hands were kind. Mrs. Ingraham’s
-manner, of sincere kindliness and dignity, put Anna
-wholly at her ease, and she looked about her, presently,
-at the subdued luxury and elegance of her surroundings
-with a frank, childlike pleasure. Her absolute unconsciousness
-of herself saved Anna from the awkwardness
-which her unusual height, her angular thinness, and her
-unaccustomedness to social contact might otherwise have
-produced. She wore her “other dress,” which was of
-plain black poplin, but quite new, and not ungraceful in
-its straight untortured lines; and as she entered the great
-drawing-room, with its splendours of costly art, and met
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_66'>66</span>the eyes of many people who were watching her entrance,
-the quiet gravity and simplicity of her bearing were hardly
-less than grace.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Two women, dressed with elegance and apparently
-not deeply touched with religiousness, commented apart
-a little later, having met and spoken in turn with the
-lady from Boston and the young missionary elect.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What do you think of Mrs. Ingraham’s new saints?”
-asked one, whose black dress was heavily studded with
-jet ornaments.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I like the young missionary better than the Bostonian,
-myself,” was the reply. The speaker had red
-hair and an exquisite figure. “Isn’t she curious, though?”
-she continued. “Manners, you know, but absolutely no
-manner! I never encountered a woman before, even at
-her age, who positively had <em>none</em>.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That is what ails her, isn’t it?” returned her beaded
-friend. “You’ve just hit it. And you can see that
-tremendously developed missionary conscience of hers
-in every line of her face and figure, don’t you know you
-can?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Figure, my dear? She has none. I never saw
-such an utter absence of the superfluous!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Here they both laughed clandestinely behind their
-laced handkerchiefs.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you know how I should describe that girl?”
-challenged the Titian beauty, recovering.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Cleverly, without doubt.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I should call her a scaffolding over a conscience.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That is really very good, Evelyn. You can see
-that she is not even consciously a woman yet. She
-knows nothing of life or of herself or of this goodly
-frame, the earth, save what that New England conscience
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_67'>67</span>of hers has interpreted to her. Her horizon is
-as narrow as her chest.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Poor thing. How will she bear life, I wonder!”
-and the words died into a whisper, for at that moment
-the little talking, moving groups of men and women
-were called to take the chairs, which had been arranged
-in comfortable order, and give attention to what was to
-follow.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_68'>68</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER IX</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>When the soul, growing clearer,</div>
- <div class='line'>Sees God no nearer;</div>
- <div class='line'>When the soul, mounting higher,</div>
- <div class='line'>To God comes no nigher;</div>
- <div class='line'>But the arch-fiend Pride</div>
- <div class='line'>Mounts at her side,</div>
- <div class='line'>And, when she fain would soar,</div>
- <div class='line'>Makes idols to adore,</div>
- <div class='line'>Changing the pure emotion</div>
- <div class='line'>Of her high devotion</div>
- <div class='line'>To a skin-deep sense</div>
- <div class='line'>Of her own eloquence;</div>
- <div class='line'>Strong to deceive, strong to enslave—</div>
- <div class='line'>Save, oh! save.</div>
- <div class='line in32'>—<span class='sc'>Matthew Arnold.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>Anna was the first to speak. When she rose and
-faced the little audience, made up of fashionable women,
-professional men, and a sprinkling of the more clearly
-defined religious “workers”, she did not feel the coldness
-underlying their courteous attention. The Titian beauty
-fixed upon her eyes full of unconsciously patronizing
-kindness, and Mrs. Ingraham smiled at her with sympathetic
-encouragement, but they might have spared themselves
-the effort. Anna did not perceive or consider
-these things. She was not thinking of them at all, nor
-of herself.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The peculiar twofold consecration which rested upon
-her spirit in regard to her missionary vocation, as a call
-to fulfil at once the Divine Will and the will of her
-father, was so profound and so solemn as to remove
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_69'>69</span>her from personal and passing cares. She would not
-herself have chosen to appear before these people and to
-speak to them of her supreme interest; but to do so had
-been laid upon her as duty, and Anna’s conception of
-duty, by reason of the “tremendously developed conscience”
-which the worldly-wise women had discerned
-in her, was of something to be done. She did this duty
-with the simple directness of a soldier under command.
-She stood erect and motionless, with no nervous working
-of hands or trembling of lips, and spoke in a clear,
-low voice, in which alone, by reason of a peculiar vibrant
-pathos, the profound, undeclared passion of her nature
-was suggested.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Her critics of the early evening had been right in finding
-her destitute of manner. There was no slightest
-evidence as she spoke of the orator’s instinct—the
-magnetism of kindling eye and changing expression, of
-the conciliation and subtle flattery of her hearers. Neither
-had she fervid personal raptures nor spiritual triumphs
-to communicate. Of the picturesque and pathetic
-elements of the situation she made no use whatever.
-She had simply an absolute, dominating conviction that
-the heathen were lost; that they could only be saved by
-the knowledge of Christ; that this knowledge must be
-conveyed to them by the disciples of Christ at his command;
-and that she, Anna Mallison, was humbly grateful
-that she was permitted to devote herself to a service so
-obviously necessary. Of these things she spoke; of the
-sacred sense of living out her father’s disappointed life
-she naturally could not speak.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was not the speech which Mrs. Ingraham and her
-guests had expected. They had looked to have their
-sympathies aroused by a pathetic recital of sacrifice and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_70'>70</span>exalted self-devotion. Anna, on the contrary, was unconscious
-of sacrifice, and felt herself simply grateful for
-the privilege of carrying out her innermost desires.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The people who heard her felt that to give up “the
-world” was a mighty thing. Anna did not yet know
-what “the world” was. To their anticipation, she had
-been a figure almost as romantic and moving as a young
-novitiate about to take conventual vows; to herself, she
-was an enlisted soldier who has received marching orders,
-and whose heart exults soberly, since there are ties which
-may be broken, and death, perhaps, awaiting, but even
-so exults with joyful response.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thus, to most of those who heard her, Anna’s little
-speech was a distinct disappointment; the very loftiness
-of her conception of her calling made it featureless, and
-robbed it of adaptation to easy emotional effect. The
-ladies who had discussed her before her speech found,
-after it, that it was, after all, exactly what might have
-been expected—altogether of a piece with the austerity
-of her figure, and her sad, colourless face, no warmth,
-no emotion—just the hard Puritan conscience at its
-hardest.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There were two or three only who felt the spiritual
-elevation belonging to the girl and to what she said, and
-the underlying pathos of her high restraint, as too great
-to put into the conventional phrases of sympathy and
-praise, and so kept silence.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a brief pause after Anna returned to her
-seat, during which people stirred and spoke in low tones,
-and the beaded lady leaned over and thanked Anna for
-her “charming little talk”. Then Mrs. Westervelt, the
-guest from Boston came forward and began speaking
-with a winning smile, a gentle, soothing voice, and an
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_71'>71</span>affectionate reference to “the dear, sweet young sister.”
-She had the ease and flexibility of the practised public
-speaker; the winning and dimpled smile with which she
-won the company at the start was in frequent use, and
-she made constant motions with a pair of very white
-hands. She was quietly dressed, and yet, after the
-straightness of Anna’s poor best gown, her attire had
-its own air of handsome comfort. The perfect command
-of her voice and of herself established instantaneously
-a <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">rapport</span></i> with her audience, of which Anna, in her
-inexperience, had never dreamed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Her beloved Mrs. Ingraham, she said, had asked her
-to tell the dear friends of some wonderful answers to
-prayer which she had recently experienced, but before
-doing this she craved the privilege of reading a few
-verses of Scripture.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She then read certain passages from the prophecy of
-Zechariah, detached from one another, taken entirely
-from their historic setting, but fitted together with some
-care. The speaker explained that she had, in her earlier
-Christian life, found some difficulty in interpreting this
-rather obscure passage, but in the new life of complete
-sanctification, into which it had been her glorious privilege
-to enter, she had come to see all Scripture by a
-new and marvellous light. No longer did she trust to
-the dry and formal explanations of scholars, many of
-whom, it was but too well known, had never had the
-deep things of God revealed to them, and who had been
-led into many errors by their pride of learning. All
-that kind of study was past for her, for the dear Lord
-himself showed her, when she lifted her heart to him,
-just what he meant in his blessed word. This had been
-her experience in regard to the passage just read. To
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_72'>72</span>the natural mind there were difficulties in it, but just
-below the surface was the great precious truth which
-God would have all his children receive. It had been
-given her that when she came to the beautiful home of
-Mrs. Ingraham, and should be called upon to speak to
-these friends, she must bring them this particular passage.
-But it had looked dark to her, and she was in
-doubt how to interpret it. But as she had been in the
-cars, coming up from Boston, she had said: “Now, Lord,
-those dear friends in Burlington will want to know just
-what you meant by that sweet portion of your word,
-and I do not feel that I can tell them unless you enlighten
-me. What is it that is intended by the two
-staves in the hand of the prophet, one called Beauty and
-one called Bands?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then the dear Lord had sweetly spoken in the secret
-place of her heart, as distinctly as if with an audible
-voice: “My child, the old life of formalism, of coldness,
-and of worldly pleasure in which many Christians
-live is the staff called Bands. The higher life, the life
-of answered prayer, the life of perfect sanctification and
-fulness of blessing, is Beauty. Take this message to
-my dear children in Burlington.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Oh, how simple! Oh, how sweet! Who would weary
-heart and brain over the interpretations of rationalistic
-German commentators, when we could thus have the
-direct interpretation of his own word by the Lord himself?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thus Mrs. Westervelt proceeded at some length on
-this line, and then, with tearful eyes and an added intensity
-of the personal element, she rehearsed the answers
-to prayer which her friend, Mrs. Ingraham, had rightly
-called wonderful. Thus, in carrying on the work of
-preaching perfect sanctification in Boston, a room had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_73'>73</span>been needed for meetings. Two or three of the little
-band had prayed, and within a week they had had a most
-suitable room offered them by a precious sister, but it was
-unfurnished. The details of securing the equipment of
-this room were now described. Each piece of furniture,
-the speaker declared, had been directly given in answer
-to special prayer and by a marvellous interposition. If
-any natural means had been at work by which persons
-in sympathy with their efforts were led to supply their
-obvious needs, these were not mentioned. Plainly it
-was Mrs. Westervelt’s conception of a perfect relation
-to God that the one sustaining it should receive constant
-miraculous testimony of the divine favour. The privilege
-of attaining this condition was presented with fervid
-emphasis. It was the high and perfect life! Who
-would live on the old plane when this was what God
-had for them? Oh, how beautiful it was to trust!
-Why should we ever doubt, when we were so plainly
-told that <em>whatsoever</em> we ask we shall receive?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As Mrs. Westervelt went on, many of her hearers
-were moved to tears, and a continuous response of sympathetic
-looks and subdued exclamations followed her
-recital of her surprising experiences. The wealthy
-women present felt that this was certainly a fine thing
-for those who could not get what they wanted by ordinary
-business methods, but were, perhaps, secretly glad
-that they were not themselves called upon to test their
-relation to God quite so pointedly. The poorer and
-humbler guests wept profusely, thinking how long they
-had stumbled on in the dull and inferior practice of
-working painfully for many needed things, which might
-all have been miraculously given them, if they had only
-been favourites of God, like Mrs. Westervelt, or, as she
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_74'>74</span>would have said, “had only just stepped out into the
-fulness.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna Mallison sat and listened in unspeakable astonishment.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This was as absolutely new a gospel to her as the
-gospel of Christ to a disciple of Buddha. It was her
-first contact with sentimental religion.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The God of her father had been the immutable and
-eternal Creator, the high and holy One inhabiting eternity,
-the Judge of all the earth. Through the Incarnation
-the just anger of this Holy Being toward sinful men
-had been appeased. But although in Christ there had
-been found access to God and an Intercessor, never had
-it entered into the heart of Samuel Mallison or those
-whom he led to regard themselves as occupying a position
-other than of deepest humility, self-distrust, awe,
-and reverence.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mrs. Westervelt’s phraseology was almost like a foreign
-tongue to Anna. The constant use of terms of
-familiar endearment in speaking of the Almighty; the
-application of affectionate and flattering adjectives on all
-sides; the sense of a peculiar and intimate relation established
-between herself and God; and the free-and-easy
-conversational, in fact, rather colloquial, style in which
-she held herself privileged to communicate with him,—were
-almost amazing to her. And beneath all these
-superficial marks of a new cult, lay the deeper sense
-of the inherent disparity. Religion to Anna had been,
-it has been said earlier, a system of prohibitions, of self-denials,
-of self-abasement, with only at rare intervals the
-illumination of a profound sense of the love of God.
-Here was a religion which held up a species of luxurious
-spiritual enjoyment, of unrestrained freedom in approaching
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_75'>75</span>God, of an indubitable sense of being personally on
-the best of terms with him, as the privilege of all true
-believers.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The conception of prayer which Mrs. Westervelt had
-demonstrated was not less surprising to Anna. She knew
-that there were wide and sweeping scriptural promises
-with regard to prayer, but she had always felt a deep
-mystery attaching itself to them. For herself, she had
-never ventured to intrude her temporal gratifications and
-designs upon the attention of her God, but had rather
-felt a sober silence regarding these things to best befit a
-sinful creature coming before a holy Creator. Half revolting,
-but half smitten with compunction, the thought
-now flashed through her mind that, if she had only prayed
-after this new sort, her father might have received the
-oranges for which he had sorely longed in the months
-before his death. This luxury was not to be obtained
-in Haran, and had therefore been patiently foregone,
-heaven and Burlington having seemed equally inaccessible
-at the time.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mrs. Westervelt sat down, and the meeting broke up,
-a swarm of enthusiastic, tearful women rushing to surround
-her and pour out their effusive appreciation of her
-wonderful address. Anna stood bewildered and alone,
-doubting within herself. Had it all been the highest
-consecration, as it undoubtedly desired to be? or had it
-been the highest presumption, the old temptation of
-spiritual pride, assuming a new guise?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Two clergymen of the city, who had been attentive
-listeners during the whole evening, not being moved to
-pour out their admiration upon either speaker, quietly
-strayed across the hall into Mr. Ingraham’s library.
-The senator himself was absent.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_76'>76</span>“Well, Nichols,” said Dr. Harvey, the older man,
-who had a shrewd, kindly, smooth-shaven face, “what
-do you think of that for Old Testament exegesis?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was pretty stiff to have the responsibility for it
-given to the Lord,” returned his friend. “I almost felt
-like interrupting her to say that, with all due respect, the
-Lord never told her any such thing, her interpretation
-being monstrously untrue.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was awful, simply awful,” said the other, with slow
-emphasis. “Such fantastic tricks before high heaven
-might make men, as well as angels, weep. And then
-her familiarity with the Lord, Nichols,—why, man, she
-positively patronized the Almighty!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is true, and yet, do you know, Doctor, that woman
-has some extraordinary elements for success in such
-work?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“If she hadn’t, she would be of no importance, my
-dear fellow. She has a fine homiletic instinct. That is
-just where the danger lies. But, after all, she represents
-only one danger—there are others. She is simply the
-modern mystic—a kind of latter-day, diluted Madame
-Guyon. Too much of the thing is a trifle nauseous,
-perhaps, but it represents the revolt of devout souls, in
-every age, from formalism, and is inevitably an excess,
-like all revolt. Doubtless there will be such revolt,
-world without end, and it will have its uses.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was fairly pathetic to see how eagerly those
-women rushed forward to receive her; evidently that’s
-the message they are pining for. They don’t go for us
-that way, Doctor.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No; and they didn’t for that first speaker, Mallison’s
-daughter. I knew him. Poor man, what a mystic he
-might have made, if he had let himself go! This girl is
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_77'>77</span>much like him—the old New England type; religion
-with all colour and sentiment clean purged out of it.
-Cold as ice, chaste as snow, the antipodes of the
-Guyon-Westervelt danger. Talk of holiness,—poor
-Mallison,—he was the holiest man I ever knew, and in
-this life the least rewarded,” and the old clergyman
-shook his head with a mournful smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I fancied, when I heard her speak, although I had
-no idea who she was, that this daughter of his had not
-exactly revelled in the luxury of religion.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No; but I tell you, Nichols, she is none the worse
-for that, at her age. There is a hardihood, an unconscious,
-sturdy fortitude in that earlier type, which we
-mightily need in the world to-day. To me, that girl
-was positively beautiful, because—notice what I say,
-Nichols—she is absolutely true.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very likely.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes; but when you have thought it over, tell me,
-some day, how many men and women you know of
-whom you can say that. If you know one, you will do
-well.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Dr. Harvey, as he said these words, rose to leave the
-library, but stopped and stood, as there appeared at that
-moment at the hall door the figure of a man who was
-apparently passing through the hall. So silent and so
-sudden was his coming, and so singular his aspect, that
-the younger of the two men, perceiving him, started violently
-in involuntary surprise, and was conscious of a
-disagreeable sensation along the course of his veins.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This man, who had approached the door with noiseless
-steps, might have been young, or might have been
-old. He was of unusual height, with narrow shoulders,
-short body, and disproportionate length of limb. His
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_78'>78</span>face, an elongated oval, was of as smooth surface as that
-of a woman, and of the shape and pale even colour of an
-egg. The enormous forehead, the eyes, small and narrow,
-set wide apart and obliquely, the flattened nose, the
-straight, wide, almost lipless mouth, combined with an
-expression of crafty complacence to give the man a singularly
-alien semblance. As he stood, he smiled slowly,
-a smile which emphasized both the craftiness and the
-complacency of his expression, and remarked in a high,
-thin voice:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Just going, Doctor? Make yourself at home here,
-that’s all right.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He carried a rather large, morocco-bound note-book
-in one hand, and a silver pencil-case in the other. His
-hands were extremely delicate and white, with sinuous,
-flexible fingers, of such phenomenal length as to suggest
-an extra, simian joint. They conveyed to the young
-clergyman a sense of expressing the same craft as the
-face, and a yet more palpable cruelty. The unpleasant
-impression became more pronounced, for, seeing the
-hands, young Nichols involuntarily shivered.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Probably this fact was not noticed by the newcomer,
-but, having thus spoken and smiling one more chilling
-smile, he passed on to the other end of the hall.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Eyes rather than voice asked in astonishment, “Who
-is that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oliver Ingraham, the senator’s son,” was the elder
-clergyman’s reply, as they left the library together, “the
-son of his first wife.” Dr. Harvey was Mrs. Ingraham’s
-pastor.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Incredible!” cried the other, under his breath. “I
-never saw him, never heard of his existence.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The other shook his head with gravely troubled look.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_79'>79</span>“He is only here when it becomes impossible to keep
-him elsewhere.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Is he insane? imbecile? what is he?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Not the first, not the second. I cannot answer the
-third question.”</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_80'>80</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER X</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>She sitteth in a silence of her own;</div>
- <div class='line'>Behind her, on the ground, a red rose lies;</div>
- <div class='line'>Her thinking brow is bent, nor doth arise</div>
- <div class='line'>Her gaze from that shut book whose word unknown</div>
- <div class='line'>Her firm hands hide from her; there all alone</div>
- <div class='line'>She sitteth in thought trouble, maidenwise.</div>
- <div class='line in38'>—<span class='sc'>R. W. Gilder.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>An October morning, and breakfast-time in the Ingraham
-household. Great doors stood open into the
-dining room, where the vast round table could be seen
-with its glittering array of silver, and the grace and
-colour of exquisite flowers.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A slender girl, as graceful and charming in her simple
-morning dress as the flowers she had just placed on the
-table, stood in the doorway, waiting, a shade of impatience
-on her face. Behind her, at one of the dining-room
-windows, stood Oliver Ingraham, her half-brother.
-Mrs. Ingraham, with her other daughters, one older, one
-younger, were in the adjoining library. Outside, in the
-hall, a man paced up and down with impatience which
-he did not attempt to conceal. This was Mr. Ingraham
-himself, a man of good height, fine, erect figure,
-and youthful energy of motion and bearing. His hair
-was grey, as also his heavy mustache and imperial;
-his eyes grey also, keen, clear, but inclined to wander
-with disconcerting swiftness; he had a high, beaklike
-nose, and a fine, carefully kept skin, in which a network
-of dark red veins betrayed the high liver. He was at
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_81'>81</span>once peremptory and gracious, military and courtly, a
-man of the world and of affairs on a large scale.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With watch in hand he entered the library and approached
-his wife.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Cornelia,” he said, smiling with good-tempered sarcasm,
-“does it strike you that the show is a little late in
-opening? I dislike to mention it, but it is already ten
-minutes past eight. I am not familiar with the social
-customs of Abyssinia, nor even of Macedonia, but in
-the United States it is considered good form for guests,
-albeit lions, to come to breakfast on time. Even the
-Hyrcan tiger, I understand, is usually prompt in his
-attendance on that function—”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Papa!” cried his youngest daughter, Louise, “you
-are perfectly dreadful.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mrs. Ingraham looked up into her husband’s face
-with her mild, conciliating smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am so sorry, Justin,” she said softly, “but I suppose
-the poor dear creatures are very tired after the
-meeting last night, and their journey, and all—”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a slight noise on the stairs as she spoke,
-and Mr. Ingraham faced about with military precision to
-receive in succession a number of ladies, who filed into
-the room, and were warmly greeted and promptly presented
-to him by his wife. Two were visitors from
-New York, substantial “Board women”; other two,
-returned missionaries from Japan; the last to enter was
-a shy, brown little person with soft dark eyes, a native
-Hindu, who could only communicate with her host by
-a gentle, pleading smile. All were in attendance on
-a great missionary conference held in Burlington that
-week, drawing its supporters from all New England
-and New York.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_82'>82</span>“Shall we go to breakfast, Cornelia?” Mr. Ingraham
-asked, having infused sudden courage into the trembling
-breast of the little native by his gallant attention. “Are
-we all here?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why, no, papa,” interposed his youngest daughter;
-“we must wait for Mr. Burgess.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Burgess?” repeated her father, in a musing
-tone. “I do not recall that I have met him. Is the
-gentleman an invalid?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“At least the gentleman is here, papa,” murmured
-Louise, directing his attention to a young man who at
-the moment entered the room, and approached Mrs.
-Ingraham with a few words of courteous apology.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Meeting him, Mr. Ingraham saw a slender, youthful
-figure, somewhat below the average of masculine height,
-a man of delicate physique, perhaps five and twenty
-years old, with a serious, sensitive face, and earnest blue
-eyes looking out through glasses; a young man who
-presented himself with quiet self-possession, and bore
-the unmistakable marks of good breeding.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As they took their places around the breakfast table,
-Keith Burgess, for this was the young man’s name,
-found himself seated opposite Oliver, with whom he
-was not drawn to converse, and between the second
-Miss Ingraham and the little Aroona-bia. Conversation
-with the latter being necessarily of an extremely limited
-nature, her gentle lisping of “yes” and “thank you”
-being somewhat indiscriminate, the guest found himself
-shortly occupied exclusively with his very pretty neighbour.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You know, Mr. Burgess,” she was presently saying,
-“I almost feel that I know you already.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How so?” asked Keith, simply. It was plain that,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_83'>83</span>although accustomed to the refinements of life, this was
-not a man accomplished in social subtleties. There
-was, in fact, a curiously unworldly expression in the
-young fellow’s eyes, and somewhat of thoughtful introspection.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why, you see mamma and some of her friends who
-heard you speak last spring have told us so much about
-you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith bowed slightly, without reply.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And you can’t think, Mr. Burgess, how delighted
-we are to have you come to Burlington. We were so
-afraid you would leave for the East before we could
-hear you, and I assure you that would have been a great
-disappointment. I think you sail in the spring, do you
-not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, in May, as soon as I graduate.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And it is for India?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I suppose so. It is not fully determined, but that
-would be my choice, and I believe the Board incline
-that way.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The pretty Miss Ingraham, whose name was Gertrude,
-sighed a very little.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is all so wonderful, so almost incredible, to me
-that any one young and like other people, don’t you
-know? can really go,” she said gently. “There <em>are</em>
-people to whom it seems perfectly natural. Mamma
-has a new protégée who is to go out as a missionary
-teacher a year from this fall. She is very young, only
-twenty-one, and we all think she is lovely; but still, for
-her it seems really the only thing to be expected. She
-has the genuine missionary air already, and you would
-know she could not be anything else, somehow.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith looked civilly, but not keenly, interested.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_84'>84</span>“I wonder if it is any one I have heard of,” he remarked.
-“It is our Board that sends her?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes. Her name is Mallison, Anna Mallison. Her
-father was a country minister up in the mountainous
-part of the state. Poor thing! She will find India
-quite a change after Vermont winters, I should think.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“An improvement, perhaps,” said Keith, smiling.
-“But really, Miss Ingraham, going back to what you
-said a moment ago, why should it seem so incredible for
-a man who has devoted himself to the service of God,
-truly and unreservedly, to be willing to go where what
-little he can do is most needed? Many men go to foreign
-countries and remain the better part of their lives
-for business purposes: men in the navy; Englishmen,
-of course, of social and political ambitions, by hundreds.
-Do you ever feel that there is anything extraordinary or
-superhuman in what they do?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gertrude Ingraham was looking at the young man
-with almost devout attention.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No,” she answered, shaking her head with pretty
-humility, seeing which way he led.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then why,” pursued Keith Burgess, leaning over to
-look steadily in her face with his earnest eyes, and lowering
-his voice to a deeper emphasis, “why do you
-wonder that now and then a man should be willing to
-do for the Lord Jesus Christ and the salvation of souls
-what a hundred men do as a matter of course for their
-own selfish ambition and the gaining of money?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The girl looked down, the brightness of her face softened
-by serious feeling.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The only wonder, Miss Ingraham, is that so few
-do it. For my own part I do not see how a fellow
-who goes into the ministry, as things are now, can do
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_85'>85</span>anything else,” and Keith turned back to his neglected
-breakfast. Thereafter he was drawn into conversation,
-across the mute languor of the little Hindu, with his
-host, who had questions to ask regarding Fulham, which
-had been his college.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At four o’clock that afternoon, Keith Burgess, sitting
-in a large congregation in Dr. Harvey’s stately church,
-listening with consciously declining interest to a long
-statistical report which was being read from the pulpit,
-felt himself touched on the shoulder. Looking up he
-saw the Rev. Frank Nichols, pastor of a mission church
-in the city. He had known him well in college, a clear-eyed,
-well set-up young cleric. Nichols invited him by
-a word and look to follow him, and together they quietly
-left the assembly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When they had reached the street and the crisp
-autumn air, Keith shook himself with a motion of
-relief.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Is there anything more tiresome than such a succession
-of meetings?” he exclaimed. “Shall we walk?
-I am in a hurry to climb one of these hills.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“We must do it later,” returned Nichols; “but if
-you are not too tired I want to take you down this
-street and on a block or two to my church. The
-women are having a meeting there this afternoon.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, yes, I remember; but will it be in order for
-us to intrude?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, that will be all right. The brethren drop in
-quietly now and then, and are welcome. You needn’t
-stay long, for you are tired, I know by your face; but I
-tell you what it is, Burgess, I want you to hear Anna
-Mallison.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna Mallison! again that name which he had heard
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_86'>86</span>in the morning. It began to have a strangely musical
-quality to Keith’s ears.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have heard her name. She is under appointment,
-I believe. A good speaker?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No, not a particularly good speaker, but, as Dr.
-Harvey once said to me, an absolutely true nature. She
-is a young woman of strong personality, but singularly
-destitute of the desire to impress herself, and with a certain
-touch of the unconsciously heroic about her which
-you feel but cannot describe. I have never met a girl
-of precisely her type before, myself, and I am curious to
-know what you will think of her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Entering the small, unpretentious church, Nichols and
-his friend sat down in the first row of seats, next to the
-central aisle. The room was nearly full; several women
-were upon the platform, from which the pulpit had been
-removed. One woman was speaking in a high-keyed,
-plaintive voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was not a stable or quiet audience; some were
-leaving their seats, others coming in, many turning
-their heads to catch glimpses of expected friends. Behind
-the young men came in two girls who remained
-standing close beside them in the aisle for a little space.
-One of these girls had pretty, fair hair and peachy cheeks;
-she was dressed in deep blue with touches of gilt cord
-and buttons, giving a kind of coquettish military jauntiness
-to her appearance. She wore a small round hat, of
-dark blue, which set off her pretty hair charmingly. Her
-manner was full of quick, eager animation; she smiled
-much and whispered to her companion continually. This
-companion stood motionless and unresponsive to the frequent
-appeals made to her, a quiet face and figure, a dress
-and bonnet of plain and unadorned black, ill suited to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_87'>87</span>her youth; but it was her face and figure rather than
-the other to which Keith Burgess found his attention
-riveted. He knew intuitively, before Nichols told him,
-that this was Anna Mallison; but without this knowledge
-he felt that he must still have kept his eyes upon her
-face. The repose of it, the purity and elevation of the
-look, the serene, serious sweetness, were what he had
-seen in the faces of angels men have dreamed of rather
-than of women they have loved. But that she was
-after all a woman, with a woman’s sensitiveness and
-impressibility, he fancied was manifest when, having
-perhaps felt his look resting thus intently on her face,
-Anna turned and their eyes met in an instant’s direct,
-uninterrupted gaze, whereupon a deep flush rose and
-spread over the clear brown pallor of her face, and she
-turned, and bent to speak to her friend, as if to cover a
-slight confusion.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The friend was Mally Loveland, and she was finding
-her position a particularly satisfactory one at the moment,
-being aware that Mr. Nichols was so placed as to take
-in the best points of her new fall costume in a side view.
-It was for him, not for Anna, that she had been using so
-much of nervous energy in the last few minutes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A lady who had left the platform for the purpose now
-came down the aisle, and, taking Anna Mallison by the
-hand with a word of welcome, conducted her to the front
-of the church. Mally, thus left alone, fluttered into a
-place made for her, seeming to discover Mr. Nichols as
-she turned, and smiling surprise and pleasure upon him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Just before Anna began to address the gathering, while
-a hymn was sung, Keith Burgess quietly made his way
-to a seat near the front of the church, at the side of the
-platform. He had excused himself to Nichols, who had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_88'>88</span>then asked and obtained permission to sit beside Mally,
-an incident productive of a vast amount of conscious and
-fluttering delight on the part of that young lady.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The austerity of Anna Mallison’s religious life had,
-under the influence of Mrs. Westervelt and her disciple,
-Mrs. Ingraham, relaxed within a few months to a marked
-degree. New conceptions of a relation of joyful assurance,
-of conscious acceptance with God, had risen within
-her, with the perception that religion was not exclusively
-prohibition, and conscience its only energy. Something
-of warmth and brightness had been infused into her chill,
-colourless, outward life, furthermore, by the intercourse
-with the Ingrahams which had followed her first visit.
-She was still in a manner ice-bound in her interior life
-and in her capacity for expression, but the ice was
-beginning to yield and here and there to break up a
-little.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thus, in the manner with which she spoke on this
-occasion, there was something of gentleness, and a less
-uncompromising self-restraint than when she had first
-spoken before an audience. She was still noticeably
-reserved, still innocent of the orator’s arts, or of conscious
-seeking to produce an effect; she still delivered
-herself of her simple message as if it were a duty to be
-discharged rather than an opportunity to be grasped.
-But through the coldness of all this neutrality there
-pierced now and then a ray of the radiant purity and
-loftiness of the girl’s inner nature, and this time those
-who heard her did not pity or patronize her in their
-thoughts.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith Burgess watched her from the place he had
-chosen. Her tall, meagre figure in its nunlike dress was
-sharply outlined against a palely tinted window opposite,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_89'>89</span>through which the October sun shone. She stood without
-support of table or desk, her hands falling straight at
-her sides, and looked directly at the people she addressed,
-fearless, since burdened with the sense of immortal
-destinies, not with a consciousness of herself. Keith
-noted the hand which fell against the straight black folds
-of her dress; its fine shape and delicate texture alone
-expressed her ladyhood. She could not have been called
-pretty, but her face thus seen in profile was almost beautiful,
-the hollowness of the cheeks and the stringent
-thinness of all the contours being less obvious.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But Keith Burgess was not occupied with Anna’s face
-and figure to any serious degree. He knew instinctively
-that she was of good birth and breeding; he saw that,
-though severe and angular in person and manner, she
-was womanly, noble, refined. He divined, as no one
-could have failed to divine, the essential truth and purity
-of her nature. From her simple, unfeigned utterance
-he perceived the high earnestness and consecration with
-which she was entering upon missionary labour. Perceiving
-all those things, the young man looked and listened
-with a sudden, momentous question taking swift shape
-in his mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He remained until the close of the meeting and met
-Anna, introducing himself, as he preferred doing. She
-received his few expressions of satisfaction in hearing her
-with scant response, and apparently with neither surprise
-or gratification. He did not like her the less for
-that.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The Ingrahams found Keith sober and preoccupied at
-dinner that night, but, as he was to be chief speaker at
-the evening session of the convention, they thought this
-natural and in order. He was liked and was treated with
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_90'>90</span>especial consideration by them all, and even Mr. Ingraham
-did him the honour of going to the church to hear
-him speak. He had no sympathy with his wife’s penchant
-for missions, but he thought Burgess was “a
-nice little fellow,” and he wanted to see what kind of
-a speech he could make.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The different members of the family and their guests
-came home one after another late in the evening, and,
-as they met, exchanged enthusiastic expressions concerning
-the eloquence of Keith Burgess. Mrs. Ingraham and
-the Board ladies thought the dear young man had a
-wonderful gift; Aroona-bia smiled tenderly in assent;
-the girls said he was simply perfect; and Mr. Ingraham
-admitted that, when he had worked off some of his
-“sophomoric effervescence,” he might make a good deal
-of an orator, and added, under his breath, it was nothing
-less than a crime to send a delicate, talented boy like that
-to make food for those barbarians, whose souls weren’t
-worth the sacrifice, even if he could save them, which he
-couldn’t.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very true, dear,” rejoined his wife; “no man can
-save another’s soul; he can only lead him to the dear
-Lord’s feet.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The senator bit short a sharp reply, and just then
-Keith himself appeared, looking pale and exhausted,
-deprecating wearily the praise they were eager to bestow
-upon him, and begging to be excused if he withdrew at
-once to his room.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As the sound of his footsteps was lost in the hall
-above, Mrs. Ingraham said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am sorry Mr. Burgess was so tired. I invited
-Anna Mallison to come here for the night, and I wanted
-him to meet her. Mrs. Churchill has asked the opportunity
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_91'>91</span>for a little talk with Anna in the morning, and it
-will be convenient for her to be here. It is so far to her
-rooms, you know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I should think the house was full already, mamma,”
-remarked Gertrude Ingraham. “Where can we put
-her?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, she will not mind going up to the south room
-in the third story, my dear. I told Jane to have it in
-order.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Just then Miss Ingraham came into the house and
-Anna Mallison was with her.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_92'>92</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XI</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>The Moving Finger writes; and having writ,</div>
- <div class='line'>Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,</div>
- <div class='line'>Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.</div>
- <div class='line in38'>—<span class='sc'>The Rubaiyat.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>In a few moments after he had reached his room
-Keith Burgess heard a knock at his door. Opening it,
-he found a neat, white-capped maid who bore a tray;
-entering demurely, she placed it upon a small table, remarking
-that Mrs. Ingraham thought he would need
-refreshment. The tray held an exquisite china service
-for one person, a pot of chocolate, and delicate rolls and
-cakes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Miss Gertrude said I was to light your fire,” the
-maid said, proceeding to remove the fender and strike a
-match for the purpose.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very well,” replied Keith, walking to the other side
-of the room. The night air was sharp, and he liked the
-notion.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A moment later the maid withdrew, with the noiseless,
-unobtrusive step and movement of the well-trained servant,
-and Keith, when he turned, found the room already
-enlivened by the firelight. The table was drawn
-to a cosey corner on the hearth-rug, a deep cushioned
-easy-chair beside it. The fragrant steam of the hot
-chocolate rose invitingly, and as Keith threw himself
-with a long sigh of comfort into the chair, he detected
-another fragrance, and perceived, lying upon the plate,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_93'>93</span>a single rose, and around the stem a slip of white paper.
-On the paper, Keith found a few words written: “You
-must let me thank you for the great uplift you have
-given me to-night. <span class='sc'>Gertrude Ingraham.”</span></p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The young man, rising, put the flower in a clean
-glass vase on his mantle, and the note in the inner compartment
-of his writing-case, touching both with careful
-gentleness. Then, returning to the fireside, he fell to
-drinking and eating with cordial satisfaction in all this
-creature comfort; but as he ate and drank and grew
-warm, he was thinking steadily.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He was not minded to flatter himself unduly, but
-what was he justified in inferring from Gertrude’s action
-and from other small signs which he had seen? Simply,
-that she liked him; honoured him above his due; probably
-idealized him; possibly, if he sought her deeper
-regard, might respond.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He liked her thoroughly. What man would not?
-She was very pretty, and her beauty was enhanced by
-faultless dress,—no small thing in itself. Her manners
-were charming, with the charm of a sweet nature, aided
-by the polish of high social intercourse; she had the
-thousand little nameless, flattering graces of the woman,
-who, old or young, instinctively knows how to put a
-man at his best. Furthermore, Keith was not insensible
-to the background against which this girl was set. The
-aristocratic, powerful family connection, the magnificent
-home, the wealth and grace and ease of life, the fine
-manners and habits of thought and conduct belonging to
-the Ingrahams, were not matters of naught to him. He
-liked all these things. What was more, he knew perfectly
-that there was no element of temptation in them
-to lead him from his chosen path of altruism; Mrs. Ingraham’s
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_94'>94</span>well-known missionary ardour and Gertrude’s
-delicate sympathy were guarantee for that. They understood
-perfectly that within six months he would depart
-for an exile of perhaps a lifetime, in an alien and
-uncongenial land, where he would work under conditions
-of life repulsive and depressing to the last degree.
-Nevertheless, he believed without vanity that Gertrude
-Ingraham, knowing all, foreseeing all, could care for him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith Burgess had come, suddenly perhaps, but definitely,
-to the conclusion that he wanted a wife; and,
-furthermore, that he wanted a wife who would go out
-with him to India six months hence. Consequently, as
-he sat by the fire which Gertrude Ingraham had lighted
-for him, he pursued this line of thought with significant
-persistence.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A curious condition, however, attended his reflections.
-While he sat by Gertrude’s fire, tasted her dainty food,
-inhaled the fragrance of the rose she had sent him, and
-thought of her in all her beauty and grace, he did not <em>see</em>
-her. Instead of her figure, there stood constantly before
-the eye of his mind the tall, austere form of Anna Mallison,
-in the unsoftened simplicity of her manner and
-apparel, and in her passionless, unresponding repose.
-He thought of Gertrude Ingraham, but he saw Anna
-Mallison.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She had travelled the way that he had come. Outwardly
-there might be coldness between them, but inwardly
-there must be the profoundest basis of sympathy.
-The same master conviction had won and held their two
-souls. He could not have known her better, it seemed
-to him, had he known her all his life. The things
-which would have repelled another man were what
-drew him all the more to her. It was not the passion
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_95'>95</span>of love which had so suddenly awakened within him,
-but a mighty longing for what Keith Burgess had thus
-far gone through life without,—a true and satisfying
-sympathy with his religious life and its aspirations. A
-girl like Gertrude Ingraham might accept his religion
-and the shape it took, but it would be because she cared
-for him; a girl like Anna Mallison might, perhaps,
-accept him, but it would be because of his religion and
-the shape it had taken. At this crisis of his life the
-enthusiasm for his calling ruled him as no human love
-could, and by it all the issues of life must stand or fall.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Hours passed. The fire died out to a core of dull
-red embers, the single rose drooped on its stem, the tray
-of food stood despoiled and indifferent; the words of the
-small white paper were forgotten, and Keith Burgess,
-throwing himself upon his knees, prayed thus to God:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, my Lord, if thou wilt grant me so great a good
-as to win her for my wife, if thou wilt bless me in seeking
-her, if it is according to thy will that our lives should
-be united, and that together we should carry the cross
-of Christ to the lost, grant me, O Lord, a sign. But if
-it be not thy will, make this, too, known to me. Thy
-will I seek, O my God, in this, in all things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then, being wearied in brain and body, he slept heavily
-until morning.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When, just before the breakfast hour, Keith stepped
-into the hall, he paused a moment, hearing a step on the
-stairs above him leading from the third story rooms.
-He advanced slowly to the head of the next staircase,
-and not until he reached it did he see who it was descending
-from above. Then, lifting his eyes, he saw
-Anna Mallison.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Her presence in this house, at this hour, so surprising,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_96'>96</span>so unlooked-for, so almost unnatural, since her
-home was elsewhere in the city—what did it mean?
-It was the sign he had craved. How else could he
-interpret it?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The blood rushed in sudden flow to his heart, leaving
-his face colourless.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna, not being surprised to meet him thus, was
-simply saying “Good morning,” and passing down the
-stairs. Keith put out his hand and stopped her going.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>So marvellous did her presence seem to him that he
-forthwith spoke out with unconventional directness the
-thought in his mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I think you do not know just what it means that
-you are here, in this house, this morning.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mally Loveland would have flashed some pert rejoinder
-to a comment like this; Gertrude Ingraham, in
-a similar situation, would have looked at Keith Burgess
-with pretty wonder and smiling question.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna Mallison, seeing the pallor and emotion of his
-face, and having become wonted to the supernatural
-interpretation of the small events of human life, only
-said gravely and without obvious surprise:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I do not, perhaps, know all that it means. I trust
-it means no trouble to any one—to you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No,” he answered, a slight tremor in his voice; “I
-cannot believe that it does. You came under the divine
-leading, no matter how or why you seemed to yourself
-to come. You came as a sign. I had asked a sign of
-God. I did not dream of your presence in this house.
-Seeing you now, so unexpectedly, how can I doubt any
-further? It is the will of God.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked straight into Keith’s face, a deep shadow
-of perplexity on her own, but she did not speak.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_97'>97</span>He smiled slightly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You cannot understand, and no wonder, I am
-speaking to you as I have no right to—in the dark.
-It is for you to say whether, by and by, before I go
-to-morrow morning, I may explain my meaning and try
-to make clear to you what is so clear to me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was Anna now who grew perturbed, for the significance
-of his words, although veiled, was manifest. She
-turned and descended the stairs without speaking, Keith
-Burgess following her in silence. She did not herself
-understand her own sharp recoil and dismay, but all the
-maiden instinct of defence was in alarm within her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the foot of the stairs they both paused for an
-instant, and Keith asked in a low voice:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Will you walk with me on these hills somewhere,
-alone, this afternoon at four o’clock?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A sudden great sense of revolt arose in the girl’s
-heart, and broke in a faint sob upon her lips. She did
-not want to walk on the hills with him—with any man.
-She did not want to hear what he had to say. But he
-had said it was the will of God, their thus meeting. He
-had sought that awful, irrefragable will, and she had acted,
-it seemed, in obedience to it in coming to this house.
-What was she, to be found fighting against God?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She felt herself constrained to say yes.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_98'>98</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>... I made answer to my friend: “Of a surety I have now set my feet
-on that point of life beyond the which he must not pass who would return.”</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r c013'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>—<cite>The New Life</cite>, <span class='sc'>Dante</span>.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>“I ask you, Anna Mallison, to go out with me to
-my work in India in May, as my wife.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thus Keith Burgess, having recounted the story of
-the lights and leadings of the past twenty-four hours.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They were standing, and faced one another in a yellow
-beech wood where the sky above their heads was
-shut out by the sun-lightened paving of the clustering
-leaves.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As she came down the woodland path Anna had
-broken off a long stem of goldenrod, and she held it
-hung like an inverted torch at her side, like a sad vestal
-virgin at some ancient funeral rites.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Forgive me for bringing this to you so swiftly. I
-know it seems hasty, perhaps unreasonably so. But to
-me no time or acquaintance, however extended, could
-change my wish. And, you see, my time is so very
-short, now!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith Burgess looked with his whole soul’s sincerity
-into Anna’s face, and the integrity of his purpose, of
-his whole nature, could not be mistaken.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is not the suddenness, I think,” she replied slowly,
-with unconscious coldness; “like you, I feel that the
-great facts of God’s will and providence may be made
-clear to us instantly.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then she hesitated and paused.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_99'>99</span>“Please go on,” the young man said gently.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is only,” she answered, with a pathos which a
-woman would have understood, “that I did not want to
-be married at all. I had never thought of it as being a
-thing I needed to be troubled about.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith Burgess smiled faintly at her frankness, which
-was not cruel of intention, he knew, but his smile touched
-Anna’s heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I did not wish to trouble you,” he said quietly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Please do not misunderstand me. It was not the
-way to express it—my words sounded unkind, I am
-afraid. I should learn better ways of gentler speaking.
-Other women seem to have them naturally.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I like it that you are honest, even if it hurts,” said
-Keith, steadily.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I did not mean that you trouble me—not exactly.
-Only that my life looked so plain and clear to me, and
-this is so surprising—it seems to change things so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Only by a little outward difference. I should not
-dare to ask you to go as my wife if I did not believe
-that you could work more effectively so, perhaps,” he
-added timidly, “even more happily, if I had strength
-and protection to give you, and a home of some sort,
-however poor, in that strange land.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Something in the quality of his voice brought swift
-tears to Anna’s eyes. It was so new to have some one
-thinking and caring for her ease and happiness. It had
-so long been her part to do this for others, to forget
-herself, and take it quite for granted that others should
-forget her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He saw his advantage, and sought to follow it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The thought of marriage is unwelcome to you,” he
-said earnestly, “because it is foreign and unfamiliar. I
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_100'>100</span>think you are very different from most girls of your age,
-and have lived a different inward life, higher and purer,
-and free from personal aims in a wonderful way. But
-even so, regarding marriage I believe you are wrong.
-You think of it as an interruption, almost as a decline
-from the life you had meant to live. On the contrary,
-God has made it to be the very best life, the normal and
-fulfilled life, in which each is at the strongest and best.
-Where my work for God and men might fall utterly to
-the ground, you, by your purer insight, might help me
-to make it availing; and perhaps the poor service I could
-give might help a little to carry forward your work.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna lifted her hand in a slight, expressive gesture.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Look at the whole thing a moment,” cried Keith,
-with sudden boldness, “as if you were not you and I
-not I. Here are two persons, man and woman, of the
-same age within two or three years, led of the same
-Spirit to the same purpose and consecration and calling;
-both ready to go out to the same unknown land, lonely
-and apart, and there to work as best they may far from
-any human being they have ever seen or known. Such
-were we. And now God, looking upon us, sees that
-each needs the other, and in his good providence he
-leads us here to this place. I see you, and instantly my
-heart goes out to you as the companion, the other self,
-I need. My soul recognizes in you its counterpart.
-God, in answer to my prayer that he will make known
-his will, suddenly, most unexpectedly, as I start on the
-new day, brings you before me before I have spoken or
-met with man or woman, as the first, best light of morning.
-What does God mean? Ask yourself, Anna Mallison,
-ask him. For my own part, I cannot doubt his
-will. I have no right to thrust my conviction upon
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_101'>101</span>you forcibly, but to me this is as clearly the call of God
-as my call to the foreign field or to the divine service.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They were still standing face to face, and while Keith
-spoke Anna looked into his eyes with the serious directness
-of one listening to an argument of weighty but
-impersonal import. With all his conviction and earnestness,
-he was as passionless as she, save for his religious
-passion. A strange wooing!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna turned now and walked on along the mossy path
-in silence.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Take time to consider,—all the time you need. Do
-not try to decide now,” said Keith, walking at her side.
-She made no reply; in fact, she did not realize that he
-spoke. Her mind was working in intense concentration.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith Burgess alone she would have turned away
-without a moment’s doubt, but he had, or seemed to
-have, a mighty Ally. She did not fear him in rejecting
-nor desire him in accepting, but to reject God!—that
-she feared; to accept God in every manifestation of
-his will was her deepest desire.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But what if Keith were wrong in his conviction?
-Her pale face flushed with a flame of indignation as she
-thought of it, that a man, whom she had never met or
-known, sought or desired, could suddenly invade the
-very citadel of her will, and summon her to surrender
-her very life into his keeping, in the great Name, when,
-perhaps, he was self-deceived, was coming in his own
-name, to do his own will. She looked aside at Keith’s
-face as he walked by her, in sudden distrust. It wore
-no flush of passion, and in the blue eyes was the light
-less of earthly love than of heavenly. It was a look
-pure and high, such as a man might fitly wear as he
-approached the sacrament. A sudden awe fell upon
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_102'>102</span>Anna, as if she were looking upon one who had talked
-with God, and her eyes fell, the lashes weighted with
-heavy, unshed tears.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“He is better than I,” she thought; “a man like this
-could not lead me wrong.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>White and cold, and with a strange sinking at her
-heart, she turned to him soon, and stopped where she
-stood.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He looked into her face, his own suffused with emotion.
-She held out both her hands, the goldenrod,
-which she had held until now, falling to the ground.
-Keith Burgess took them in both his, and Anna felt
-that his hands trembled far more than did her own.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I believe you were right,” she said simply. “It is
-the will of God.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He kissed her then on her brow and on her lips, the
-salutation disturbing her no more than if he had been
-her brother.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Please, will you let me go home now, alone, Mr.
-Burgess?” she asked humbly, like a child.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith was disappointed, but consented at once.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Only,” he said, “you should not call me Mr. Burgess.
-My name for you is Keith.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Not yet,” she answered. “In outward things and
-ways remember, please, that we are perfect strangers. It
-is only in the spirit that we have met.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then she left him, and Keith Burgess stood watching
-the tall, dark figure swiftly receding down the wood walk
-in the yellow light. His look was wistful. He longed
-to go after her, but he forebore.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna hastened down into the city streets and to the
-hospital where she was on duty every afternoon. There
-was plenty of work awaiting her, and not for a moment
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_103'>103</span>was she free or left alone to think her own thoughts.
-Six o’clock found her back in her own rooms at Mrs.
-Wilson’s. They were low and dull after the fine spaciousness
-of the Ingraham house, but that was a matter
-of little note to Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mally was there with a friend whom she had brought
-home with her to tea. Anna washed the dishes while
-these two diligently revised the trimming of their hats
-which in some particular, wholly imperceptible to Anna’s
-untrained eye, fell below the standard of latest fashion.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was not until the girls left the house, at seven
-o’clock, and all her duties, trivial and homely and wearying,
-were done, that Anna, alone at last, could yield to
-the overpowering weariness which was upon her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She carried the lamp, whose flame seemed to pierce
-her aching eyes, into the next room, and then, lying on
-the hard haircloth sofa with her head propped on one
-hand, she closed her eyes, thankful at last to be where
-she could let a few tears fall with no one to wonder or
-question. The quiet patience inbred in the constitution
-of the girl’s nature controlled her mood; there was no
-struggle of revolt from the vow she had taken and the
-future to which she had pledged herself, but an unspeakable
-homesickness had taken possession of her. She
-liked and reverenced Keith Burgess, no doubt she would
-love him very truly by and by, but just now he seemed
-to have turned her out of her own life and to have taken
-control where she had hitherto, with God, been supreme.
-It all gave her the same feeling she had suffered when,
-after her father’s death, they had been obliged to give
-up their home for the coming in of a new leader for the
-little flock her father had led so long. She knew there
-was no real analogy between the two experiences, she
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_104'>104</span>could reason clearly against herself, but she could not
-control the piteous heart-sickness which settled down
-upon her in the dim room, in the silent, empty house.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Many women have suffered a reaction like this in the
-hour of committing themselves, from the fear that this is
-not the supreme love, the love of the lifetime; the misgiving
-lest this man is not, after all, the man for whom
-they can forsake all others and unto whom they can
-cleave with a perfect heart to the end. These were not,
-however, the considerations which weighed upon Anna
-Mallison. It was, as she had herself expressed it, very
-simply, that she had not thought about marriage at all.
-She had no ideal of manhood in her mind from this
-point of view. It was not that she craved the love of a
-stronger man or a man abler or better in any way than
-Keith Burgess; she merely preferred no man. She had
-not awakened to love; the deeper forces of her woman’s
-nature were sleeping still.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But there was not for an instant, in Anna’s mind, the
-thought of withdrawing from her plighted word to Keith.
-She believed that he had come to her, as he believed,
-under the divine light and leading. She turned to walk
-in the new path marked out for her, faithfully and obediently,
-but pausing a moment to look with aching eyes
-and heart down the dear, familiar path which she was
-leaving. But Anna was too tired to think long, or even
-to feel, and so fell asleep shortly, in the stiff, angular
-position in which she lay, the tears undried upon her
-cheeks. The sound of the knocker on the house door,
-hard, metallic, but without resonance, suddenly roused
-her, and she sprang up hastily, remembering that Mrs.
-Wilson had gone to the great missionary meeting, and
-that she was alone in the house.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_105'>105</span>She took her lamp and went down the narrow stairs
-into the bit of entry. When she opened the door,
-Keith Burgess himself was standing there.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He looked at her, smiling half mischievously, and she
-felt a sudden warmth at her heart as she met the sweet,
-true look of his eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Didn’t you ever expect to see me again?” he said,
-and laughed as he stepped into the house and closed the
-door.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She smiled, too, and held out her hand. He took it
-and kissed it in a gallant way, which she found wholly
-wonderful, being quite unused to such feats, and unread
-in romances.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It will be a bore, won’t it,” he went on quaintly,
-“this having a man around to bother you? Perhaps I
-ought not to have come, but, you see, I go in the morning,
-and I thought you might have something to say to
-me before I left.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” Anna said; adding naïvely, “but where shall
-I take you? It is so new. I have not had a call like
-this before.” She felt shy about inviting him up to her
-own sitting room.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“In there?” he queried, pointing to the door of Mrs.
-Wilson’s drear little closed parlour.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, no,” replied Anna, “Mrs. Wilson never lets us go
-in there. It is too fine for anything but funerals and—”
-she was about to say weddings, but broke off confused,
-and they both laughed, looking at each other like two
-children with their innocent eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I can sit here,” said Keith, pointing, as he spoke, to
-the steep, narrow stairs. There was a red and green
-striped carpet on them, and a strip of grey linen over for
-protection. The little entry was bare of furniture, save
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_106'>106</span>for the small uncovered table on which Anna had placed
-her lamp.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very well,” she said, “I will borrow a chair from
-Mrs. Wilson’s kitchen;” and she forthwith brought out
-a clean wooden chair painted a light yellow, and placed
-it at the side of the stairway for herself, there being no
-room at the foot.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I was going to say,” remarked Keith, musingly, as
-Anna sat down, “that these stairs are rather wide, and
-if Mrs. Wilson is particular about lending her chairs, I
-could make room for you here,” and he looked at her
-soberly between the stair-rails. Anna shook her head, but
-suddenly there came over them both a sense of the ludicrousness
-of the little scene they would have presented,
-had any one been able to look in upon them, and they
-laughed again, as Anna had not laughed since she was a
-child, something of exhaustion aiding to break down her
-wonted restraint.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is so funny, oh, it is so funny!” she cried, “to
-see you looking out between those bars as if you were
-a lion in a cage. Just think of the people at the meeting!
-What if they were to see us two. Wouldn’t they
-think it was dreadful?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Would you mind putting your hand into the
-cage?” asked Keith. “I assure you it is perfectly safe.
-This is not the man-eating variety.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You are sure?” Anna asked, with a woman’s instinctive
-coquetry swiftly developed, but giving her hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is such a beautiful hand,” he said, laying it very
-gently on his own right hand, which he had placed on
-the stair beside him, and at this, the first word of flattery
-which any man had ever spoken to her face, Anna blushed
-and grew positively pretty, as he looked at her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_107'>107</span>All this laughing and light nonsense between them,
-did for her what a season of prayer and serious discussion
-of their situation could not have accomplished.
-Anna felt, with a sudden sense of comfort and release,
-that this new relation was not exclusively a solemn
-religious ordinance, but a dear human companionship,
-the joyousness of simple, upright hearts, and the sympathy
-of kindred minds.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_108'>108</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XIII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Now die the dream, or come the wife,</div>
- <div class='line in4'>The past is not in vain,</div>
- <div class='line'>For wholly as it was your life</div>
- <div class='line in4'>Can never be again,</div>
- <div class='line in6'>My dear,</div>
- <div class='line in4'>Can never be again.</div>
- <div class='line in32'>—<span class='sc'>W. E. Henley.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>At Anna’s earnest request, Keith Burgess consented
-that their engagement should be announced to no one
-save his mother until spring. Mally observed the
-regularity of Keith’s weekly letters, and attempted to
-tease Anna into acknowledging that there was “something
-in it”; but Anna’s dignity, which on occasion had
-its effect even upon Mally’s vivacious self-confidence,
-ended this line of attack in short order. A few weeks
-after Keith left Burlington Anna received the following
-note:—</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='sc'>My Dear Miss Mallison</span>: My son, Keith Burgess,
-has confided in me the fact that you have
-consented to enter into an understanding with him
-which, if Providence should favour, will doubtless eventually
-terminate in marriage. Your name has been
-mentioned to me by members of our Woman’s Foreign
-Missionary Board, and I am led to believe that
-my dear son has been graciously led of the Lord in
-his choice of a companion in the path of duty upon
-which he has entered. That my son is a godly young
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_109'>109</span>man and of an amiable disposition, I need hardly take
-this occasion to tell you. Similarity of views and of
-religious experience would seem to furnish a satisfactory
-basis for a union productive of mutual good and the
-glory of God.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Trusting for further acquaintance before you depart
-for foreign shores,</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r c013'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>I am yours very truly,</div>
- <div class='line in10'><span class='sc'>Sarah Keith Burgess.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>If this letter were stiff or cold, Anna, not looking for
-warmth and freedom, did not miss them. She knew that
-Keith was the only son of his mother, and she a widow.
-She took it for granted that they were poor like herself;
-she had not known many people who were other than
-poor, none who were in the ranks of missionary candidates.
-Such a thing would have seemed singularly incongruous
-because unfamiliar. She had a distinct picture of
-Mrs. Burgess, whom she knew to be in delicate health, as a
-woman of sweet, saintly face and subdued manner, living
-in a small white cottage in an obscure street of Fulham,
-perhaps not unlike the Burlington street in which Mrs.
-Wilson’s house stood. She fancied her living alone—indeed,
-Keith had told her that this was so—in a plain
-and humble fashion, a quiet, devoted, Christian life, a
-type with which her experience both in Haran and Burlington
-church circles had made her familiar. There
-were some geraniums in the little sitting room window,
-she thought, and it was a sunny room with braided mats
-over the carpet, and a comfortable cat asleep on a patchwork
-cushion near the stove. There would be a small
-stand beside Mrs. Burgess’s rocking-chair with a large
-Bible and a volume or two of Barnes’s “Notes,” a spectacle
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_110'>110</span>case and a box of cough medicine; perhaps it was a
-bottle, Anna was not sure, but she inclined to the hoarhound
-drops, and almost smelt them when she thought
-of the room. She imagined the dear old lady carefully
-and prayerfully inditing the epistle to herself, and thought
-it most kind of her, and wrote thus to Keith.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The winter passed for Anna in hard and unintermitting
-work. Mally allowed herself lighter labours, and, having
-raised her eyes with admiration to the Rev. Frank
-Nichols, now shook herself free as far as she could conveniently
-from her more frivolous Burlington friends, and
-renewed her earlier interest in religion with extraordinary
-zeal. She felt that Dr. Harvey’s church was too worldly
-for her ideals, and that Mr. Nichols’s beautiful work
-among the humbler classes offered far more opportunity
-for religious devotion. Her regular attendance at all the
-meetings of the church was a great satisfaction to Anna,
-who looked on with characteristic blindness, glad to see
-her friend returning to a more consistent walk and
-conversation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The letters which passed between Anna and Keith
-would hardly have been called love-letters. They dealt
-with religious experience and views of “divine truth,”
-for the most part. Not even at start or finish of any
-letter was place found for the endearing trifling common
-to lovers. This correspondence might all have been
-published, omitting nothing—without dashes or asterisks,
-even in that day when it was thought unseemly to reveal
-the innermost secrets of hearts, and to speak upon the
-housetops that which had been whispered in the ear.
-There were few personal allusions on the part of either,
-beyond Keith’s occasional mention of his health being
-below the mark. At Christmas Keith sent Anna a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_111'>111</span>volume of “Sacred Poetry”; on the fly-leaf he had
-written:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Anna Mallison</span>,</div>
- <div class='line in4'>From her sincere friend and well-wisher,</div>
- <div class='line in24'><span class='sc'>Keith Burgess</span>.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>He had abstained from warmer terms on account of
-Anna’s wish to withhold the knowledge of their engagement
-for the present.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Poor Anna, having nothing wherewith to provide a
-gift for her lover, the small savings for her education
-being now nearly exhausted, made shift to sew together
-sheets of note-paper, on which she copied her favourite
-passages from Paley and Butler and various theologians.
-This humble offering was sent to Keith, who was highly
-gratified, and treasured the little gift affectionately.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>For two weeks following Christmas Anna received no
-letter, but she was not greatly surprised, as she knew
-Keith was to start early in January for a tour of various
-New England towns, where he was expected to present
-the cause of Foreign Missions. He was now completing
-his last year in the theological seminary near Boston, and
-his unusual gifts in public speech induced the faculty to
-send him out frequently on such missions.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At half-past eight of a zero morning in the second
-week of January, Anna, with her threadbare black jacket
-buttoned tight to her throat, her arm full of books, was
-leaving Mrs. Wilson’s door on her way to school, when
-she saw a boy stop in front of the house with a telegram
-in his hand. Taking it, she found, greatly amazed, that
-it was for herself—the first telegram she had ever
-received.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The boy, accustomed to see people receive his messages
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_112'>112</span>with changing colour and nervous hands, glanced at
-her coolly, then turned and went his way back, plunging
-his hands into his pockets against the biting cold. In
-the little entry Anna opened the despatch. It was
-dated Portland, Maine, and signed by Keith Burgess.
-It told her that he was very ill; that he was alone, it
-being impossible for his mother to go to him. It asked
-her to come to him at once.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna’s mind, in the half-hour which followed, worked
-with intense rapidity. She found from a newspaper that
-by a ten o’clock train she could reach Boston that evening,
-and she decided to take that train, and go on to Portland
-by night. She wrote a note to Mally, in which
-she told her of her engagement to Keith and of what
-had occurred. She packed a satchel with what was
-necessary, and last of all drew out of her little square
-writing-desk, where she kept it carefully locked away, an
-envelope containing all the ready money she possessed.
-She found that there remained exactly twelve dollars.
-This, to Anna, was a large amount of money, and,
-although her heart sank a little at the thought of spending
-so much at once, the prospect for the weeks to come
-before she could draw upon her mother again being
-blank enough, she knew that this was justified by the
-emergency.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Soon after nine Anna again departed from the house,
-the books replaced by the satchel, the worn and faded
-black gown and jacket unchanged, starting alone and
-unsped upon her long and anxious journey.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She went first to the Ingrahams, walking the long mile
-in the sharp cold, carrying her heavy bag with a benumbed
-hand, since the reckless extravagance of a carriage might
-not for a moment be considered.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_113'>113</span>Mrs. Ingraham was ill and could not see Anna, but
-her daughter Gertrude came into the parlour and greeted
-her cordially. The issues of the hour were too strong
-upon Anna to permit any trace of embarrassment or
-personal feeling in her manner, although she felt that it
-would have been easier to say what she felt must be said,
-to Mrs. Ingraham.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Will you be so good as to tell your mother,” she
-began, “that I could not go away on this journey, which
-I must take, without explaining it to her? She has been
-so very kind. We did not mean to announce it quite
-so soon, but Mr. Burgess, whom I met here in the fall,
-and I are engaged to be married.” Anna was too preoccupied
-to perceive the flush which slowly and steadily
-rose in Gertrude Ingraham’s face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“We expect to go out together in May,” Anna proceeded.
-“Mr. Burgess has not been strong for several
-months, perhaps he is never very strong; but this morning
-I have a telegram from him asking me to come to
-Portland, as he is very ill, and his mother cannot be with
-him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Shall you go, Miss Mallison?” asked Gertrude,
-with visible constraint.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked at her then, surprised, and instantly felt
-the indefinable coldness of her reception of her little story.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am on my way to take the ten o’clock train east,”
-she said simply, her voice faltering slightly. For all her
-courage and steadiness, her heart was crying out for a
-little touch of another woman’s gentleness; the way
-before her was not easy, and there was a sense of loneliness
-upon her which began to make itself acutely felt.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gertrude Ingraham rose and said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am so very sorry for Mr. Burgess. We liked him
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_114'>114</span>very much. You must let me go and speak to mamma
-a moment, for I know she would wish to give you some
-message. I will not keep you long.” And she hurried
-from the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna sat alone and watched the minute-hand of a
-French clock on the mantel moving slowly along the
-gilded dial, a heavy oppression on her spirit. She had
-not consciously expected sympathy, but Gertrude’s aloofness
-hurt her strangely.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Some one came softly into the room behind her just
-then, so softly that she turned rather because she felt a
-presence than because she heard a step. It was Oliver
-Ingraham.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The peculiar personality of this mysterious man inspired
-Anna always with an aversion hardly less than
-terror, and although she had become familiar with his
-presence in her frequent visits, it had never become less
-painful to her. Indeed, latterly, a new element of discomfort
-had been added to her feeling toward him, since
-he had shown a marked disposition to follow her about,
-and intrude a manner of unpleasant gallantry upon her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He greeted her now almost effusively, and, perceiving
-that she was prepared as if for a journey, asked at once:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Not going away? The painful hour of parting is
-not here yet, surely?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna made a vague and hurried reply.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Because, you know,” pursued Oliver, lowering his
-voice to an offensive tone of familiarity, and maliciously
-mimicking the phraseology of his stepmother’s friends,
-“we could hardly spare our dear young sister yet; she
-is becoming really indispensable to us,” and he held out
-one long hand as if to clasp that of Anna, leering at her
-repulsively.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_115'>115</span>Anna rose hurriedly and moved away from him, her
-heart beating hard with fear and antipathy. To her
-great relief she heard Gertrude Ingraham’s step in the
-hall, and Anna, with her face paler than it had been,
-met her at the door, while Oliver slunk away to a little
-distance, and appeared to be looking out of a window
-unconcernedly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gertrude Ingraham carried a pocket-book open in her
-hand, and as she spoke she looked at it, and not at
-Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mamma is so very sorry, and sends her best wishes
-and hopes for Mr. Burgess’s quick recovery. She hopes
-you will let her know; and, Miss Mallison,” Gertrude
-was evidently embarrassed, “mamma says it is such a
-long and expensive journey, and she wishes you would
-just take this with you to make everything as comfortable
-as may be.” And she drew out a crisp twenty-dollar
-note, which she essayed to put in Anna’s hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had not known before that she was proud. She
-did not know it now, but Gertrude Ingraham did, and
-was touched with keen compunction. She understood
-that her mother would have been more successful.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was only the swift, unconscious protest of Anna’s
-hand, the pose of her head as she turned to go, and the
-quiet finality with which she said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Will you thank Mrs. Ingraham for me, and say I
-did not need it? She is always kind. Good-by.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A moment later Gertrude watched from the window
-the slender figure in its faded, scanty black, with the
-heavy, old-fashioned satchel, passing down the windswept
-lawn, under the grey and bitter sky.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Within was warmth and luxury and protection, and
-yet Gertrude’s heart leaped with a strong passion of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_116'>116</span>desire to forego all this and take Anna Mallison’s place,
-that so she might start on that long journey which should
-bring her, at its end, to the side of Keith Burgess.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Small, unseen tragedies in women’s lives such as this,
-never once, perhaps, expressed, and never forgotten,
-work out the heroic hypocrisies which women learn,
-since such is their allotted part.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You might have known better than to offer money
-to that girl,” Oliver’s high, shrill voice behind Gertrude
-said. “She’s as confoundedly proud as all the other
-saints. But she’ll have to come down yet. We shall
-see some day.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thus unpleasantly interrupted in her reverie, Gertrude
-rose impatiently, and left the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was eight o’clock that evening when Anna reached
-Boston. Dismayed by the small remainder of money
-left her after her railway ticket was bought, she had not
-dared to spend anything for food through all the day,
-and had tried to think the cold, dry bread, a few slices
-of which she had put into her satchel, was sufficient for
-her needs.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In Boston a change of stations made a cab a necessity
-if she would not lose the Portland train, and this
-she must not do, since she had telegraphed Keith from
-Burlington that she would be with him in the morning.
-Anna alighted at the station of the Maine Railroad and
-heard the cabman say that his fee was two dollars with
-a sensation hardly less than terror. She paid him without
-a word, then entering the station, sat down in the
-glare of light amid the confusion of the moving crowd,
-and looked into her poor little purse, a sharp contraction
-at her throat as she counted, and found less than three
-dollars left.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_117'>117</span>The train would leave in fifteen minutes. Anna went
-with as brave a face as she could manage, to the office,
-and asked what was the fare to Portland. The curt
-reply of the agent proved the glaring insufficiency of her
-small remaining store. Trembling with weakness and
-dismay, Anna turned back to her place and sat down,
-closing her eyes while she prayed. She had friends in
-missionary circles in Boston, who would gladly have lent
-her money, but time failed to seek them out. She
-thought, as she prayed, of the money which Gertrude
-Ingraham had proffered in the morning, and, humbled,
-asked forgiveness for the ignorance and pride which had
-led her to reject it. The thought of Keith watching,
-perhaps in vain, for her coming in his loneliness and
-great need, perhaps in his extremity, overwhelmed her
-with pity and penitence. Having prayed for forgiveness
-and for guidance, and for a way out, and a way to Keith
-that night, she opened her eyes, astonished for the moment
-at the harsh light and the motley scene about her,
-her actual surroundings having been for the time forgotten
-in the complete abstraction of her mind. She gazed
-for a few moments languidly before her, her face so
-colourless and sorrowful that many persons who passed
-her looked back at her in curiosity and concern. Presently
-the space before her became clear; there was a
-pause in the fluctuating course of passers-by, and nothing
-interposed, for the instant, between her and the window
-of the ticket office.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>An elderly gentleman in a long travelling cloak and
-silk hat, carrying a snug and shiny travelling bag, came
-up to the window with the confident and assured bearing
-of the experienced traveller. Anna heard him ask for a
-ticket to Portland. She recognized him at once, for it
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_118'>118</span>was Dr. Durham, the missionary secretary who had once
-been her father’s guest.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When he turned from the window, the doctor found
-the pale, quiet girl in black standing just behind him;
-she spoke to him with a radiant light in her face, such as
-he had never met before. To herself, Anna was saying
-with a sense of exquisite joy in her heart, “God is near,”
-feeling herself close touched by the Almightiness. To
-her father’s friend she told her story and her need in few
-words, without hesitation or doubt, declaring, necessarily,
-her engagement to Keith Burgess, and the fact that she
-was hastening to reach him on account of his serious
-illness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Amazing, my dear,” exclaimed Dr. Durham, taking
-off his hat and wiping the large shining baldness of his
-head, “amazing indeed! I am myself on my way to
-Burgess, and we can make the journey together. Poor
-fellow! It is a sad case. I had a telegram yesterday,
-but it was impossible to start until to-night. It seems
-he has had a hemorrhage. But we will talk all this over
-on the way,” and the good old gentleman made haste to
-buy Anna’s ticket, which he said it was only the part of
-the Society to do, and she must never mention it again.
-This done, they hastened on together to the train.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_119'>119</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XIV</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>How true it is that our destinies are decided by nothings, and that a small
-imprudence helped by some insignificant accident, as an acorn is fertilized by a
-drop of rain, may raise the tree on which perhaps we and others shall be
-crucified....</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Poor, sorely tried Faith! She has but one way out of the difficulty—the
-word Mystery. It is in the origins of things that the great secret of destiny lies
-hidden, although the breathless sequence of after events has often many surprises
-for us too.—<span class='sc'>Amiel.</span></p>
-
-<p class='c010'>The incredible luxury of her breakfast the next
-morning in the hotel in Portland made an impression
-upon Anna which she could never forget, since she was,
-in fact, very nearly starved. The rich coffee, the delicate
-and sumptuous food, the noiseless assiduity of the
-sleek black waiters, the great glittering room, all partook
-of the marvellous to her exhausted senses.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then she was conducted through endless passages
-where her feet trod in baffling silence upon the lanes of
-thick crimson carpet, for a few moments she was alone
-in a room to bathe and prepare herself, and then a low-voiced
-woman, stout and motherly, met her at the door,
-and she was led to Keith.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He was lying, fully dressed, on a broad velvet sofa, in
-a richly furnished room, which was full of flowers, and
-bright with the light of the snowy winter morning and
-a blazing wood fire. His eyes were luminous, his colour
-better than she had known it, and he did not look ill.
-The nurse left them alone, and they met with unfeigned
-but quiet happiness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Was I selfish to ask you to come this long journey,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_120'>120</span>just for me?” Keith asked anxiously, holding her hands.
-Anna found his hot and tremulous, and soothed them
-with a slow, strong motion of her own.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No, not selfish,” she said.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You see, I am not very ill; in fact, I am sure the
-worst is over now, and I shall be just as well as ever in a
-few weeks; but I had a terrible cold and coughing so
-there was a little hemorrhage,—simply from the throat,
-we understand it now,—but at the time the doctor himself
-was alarmed, and so was I. If I had known how
-slight an affair it really was, I should not have asked so
-much of you, but I cannot be sorry, Anna. I shall
-have to stay right here for several weeks, they say, and
-it will be everything to have you near me, don’t you
-see?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am most grateful to be with you, Keith.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And will you talk to me about India, and about
-our home there? I have thought of it so continually
-since I have been sick. It almost seems as if I had
-seen it, and you in it. I love it already, Anna. Please
-say that you do too, just a little.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Tell me about it. Of course I shall love it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is all made of bamboo, you know, the house, and
-perched up in the air, and there are great, wide rooms,
-with cool shade, and a sound of water flowing; there
-are broad bamboo lattices at the windows, and it
-is still and peaceful, and the servants go about softly,
-and you are there in a white dress, Anna,—oh, how I
-want to see you in that white dress! It has tiny
-borders of gilt and coloured embroidery, and it suits you
-so much better than this hard black gown. Will you
-have a dress made soon like that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna smiled and pressed her hand over Keith’s eyes,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_121'>121</span>which were full of childish imploring. She was beginning
-to see his weakness with a new pain at her heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She sat with him an hour, and then, the doctor coming
-in, she was sent to her room to sleep until noon,
-while Keith should rest, and have an interview with
-Dr. Durham, their fatherly friend.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When Anna reached her room, she found on a table
-a large jar of roses, rich in colour and fragrance, and
-a basket of hothouse grapes. The day was bitterly
-cold, and it was snowing hard, the thick snowflakes
-melting against the broad, thick glass of her window.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The extravagant luxury of such fruit and flowers in
-this depth of midwinter astonished and disturbed her.
-There was no one of whom she could ask questions,
-but how could it be right for Keith to spend so much
-money? To remain for weeks in such a hotel as this
-seemed to Anna to involve an impossible expenditure,
-and she lay down on the great luxurious bed with a
-bewildering confusion of questions to which no answers
-were forthcoming. From the pinching cold and hunger
-of yesterday to the luxurious ease of to-day was
-like the transformation of a fairy tale; and Keith, with
-his weak hands, and his bright eyes, and his wistful
-eagerness was formidable in his appeal to her. She did
-not know what might be coming, but she felt anew that
-she had surrendered herself and was pledged now to do
-another’s will.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At noon Anna had a moment’s conference with
-Keith’s physician. He assured her that there was a remarkable
-change for the better in his patient,—in fact,
-that he looked now for a speedy convalescence, adding
-that her coming had produced a most favourable effect.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The whole afternoon of that January day, Keith and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_122'>122</span>Anna were left alone together. The nurse, glad of a
-brief release, took her “afternoon out”; the various
-doctors of medicine and divinity betook themselves to
-other places; and word was given the page that Mr.
-Burgess could not receive visitors, so that flowers and
-cards accumulated, and interruptions were postponed.
-There was justice in what Keith said, that they had
-never yet had a chance to get acquainted, and now the
-afternoon was turned to good account.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Experience and instinct made Anna a nurse. Keith
-was sure he had never been so wholly comfortable as
-she made him, and the effect of her personal presence
-was like health and healing to him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How dear you are, Anna, and how absolutely necessary
-to me,” he said fondly, as he watched her quiet
-way of preparing his food and medicine. “I foresee
-plainly that I can never let you leave me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When twilight gathered and the room grew dusky,
-they had no lights, but sat by the fire, Anna on a low
-seat beside the sofa, and silence fell. When Keith spoke
-again, his voice betrayed a rising emotion, and an appeal
-before which she trembled within herself.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Anna,” he said, “why should you leave me again?
-Why need we be separated any more? I need you. I
-can get strong far faster with you beside me, for you
-inspire me with a new life. Everything seems sure and
-strong when you are with me. But I want you wholly
-mine without fear or favour. Marry me, dear, to-night,
-to-morrow! What have we to wait for? It is only
-three months before our marriage was to be, you know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Concealing her agitation, and speaking quite steadily
-and soothingly, Anna answered:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“But you know, Keith, I must go back in a few
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_123'>123</span>weeks, and finish my work in the school and hospital.
-I have still so much to learn before I can make a really
-useful missionary, and so little time before May to learn
-it in. You know I have cut my preparation short a
-year, now, so that we may go out together. I am sure
-we ought to wait until May.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, Anna!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The words, so spoken, had all the force of an inarticulate
-cry from the man’s heart. They told what hours
-of argument and pleading could not have conveyed,—the
-yearning need for her presence and her upholding.
-Anna lifted her eyes to Keith’s, and saw that they were
-dim with tears. She did not feel them to be unmanly
-tears, knowing his physical exhaustion, and they moved
-her profoundly. She rose and walked to the window,
-looking out into the snowy street. Again that sense
-that her life was taken out of her own hands came upon
-her; she felt like those of old who feared as they entered
-into the cloud. She feared, but, nevertheless, she
-went back to Keith, and said, very gently, but without
-hesitation:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“If we should be married to-morrow night, would
-that please you, Keith?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He caught her hand and pressed it to his cheek with
-pathetic eagerness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, my girl, am I wrong to move you to do this
-for my sake? Forgive me, leave me, if I am leading
-you faster, farther, than you wish to go.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I will not leave you, Keith,” Anna replied, taking
-her low seat again at his side, “never, any more. It is
-the will of God.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The next day Keith was much stronger. He was
-able to walk about the room, to sit up for an hour at a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_124'>124</span>time, and to talk and plan to his heart’s desire. His
-spirits were high, and he was full of irrepressible happiness,
-and yet a wistful, grateful question always rose in
-his eyes when they rested upon Anna. The marriage
-was arranged to take place in Keith’s room at six o’clock.
-Dr. Durham had consented to remain and perform the
-ceremony, returning to Boston that night. Keith’s physician
-had interposed no objection to the plan, and even
-regarded the inevitable excitement as likely to be a benefit
-rather than an injury to his patient.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“He needs you, Miss Mallison,” he remarked with an
-emphasis which Anna felt to be peculiarly significant,
-finding him a man of few words.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was five o’clock, and Anna had gone to her room
-to make ready for the ceremony. At Keith’s urgent
-desire, and by the aid of one of the many efficient
-friends whom the circumstances of his illness had gathered
-around him, a white dress had been ordered for her.
-She found it now, lying in delicate tissue wrappings
-upon her bed, and beside it a box of orange flowers whose
-fragrance filled the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She was becoming a little inured to luxury; colour,
-warmth, perfume, delight to sense, seemed here to be
-the natural order. A vague perplexity lay below it all,
-but she had ceased now to ask questions.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As she bent to take her wedding-gown from its wrappings,
-some one knocked at her door. It was Dr. Durham.
-There was a shade of anxiety upon his kind old
-face, and he asked her to come with him into an alcove
-at the end of the hall. With an uneasy stirring at her
-heart, Anna followed him. Keith’s physician was standing
-by a table in the alcove, evidently awaiting them.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked into his face, waiting without speaking
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_125'>125</span>for what he might have to say. Surely it was impossible
-that Keith could be worse; it was not ten minutes
-since she left him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Miss Mallison,” said the doctor, gravely, “I have
-been having a little conference with your friend, Dr.
-Durham, and we find that there is a chance that you
-may be under some misapprehension of the actual conditions
-under which—under which you are about to
-take an important step.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I did not understand it myself, my dear girl, until
-within the last hour,” interposed Dr. Durham; “and
-I really don’t know now what we ought to do. Still,
-perfect frankness, perfect understanding, you know, may
-be better for all parties.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The good old man was visibly oppressed with the
-burden of the part he had to bear in the interview.
-Motionless Anna stood, only turning her eyes from one
-man to the other in troubled wonder.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The facts are simply these,” the physician took up
-the word again, “and I am greatly surprised, and I may
-add greatly pained, that they have not apparently been
-understood before. Mr. Burgess will recover from this
-attack, and may have years yet of moderate health, but
-as for carrying out his purpose to go out as a foreign
-missionary, it is absolutely impossible. Such a course
-would simply be suicidal, and must not be considered
-for a moment.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Not now, perhaps,” Anna spoke very low, in a
-strange, muffled tone; “but it may be—later—?” and
-she turned her imploring eyes from the face of one man
-to the other.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“To be perfectly frank, my dear,” said Dr. Durham,
-pressing his hands nervously together, “after what the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_126'>126</span>doctor has told me of the condition of our dear friend,
-the organic difficulty, and all that, you see—I fear that
-I can only, in justice to all concerned, state plainly that
-our Board would not be justified in sending him. I assure
-you the blow is a severe one to me in my capacity
-as secretary; for we regard Keith Burgess as, perhaps,
-the most promising candidate who has ever come before
-us. It is a dark Providence, and you will believe me
-that only a sense of our duty in the matter has led us to
-put the case so plainly before you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna did not speak.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I was not aware, Miss Mallison,” said the physician,
-“until an hour ago, that you were yourself under
-appointment as a missionary. When I learned this fact,
-it seemed to me that you should not enter upon the
-proposed line of action without knowing clearly that it
-involves giving up your chosen career,” and with these
-words the doctor bowed and turned to withdraw.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna turned to Dr. Durham.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Burgess does not know that he must give
-up—?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No, oh, no,” was the reply; “the doctor says that
-he must on no account be allowed to learn it until he is
-stronger. His heart is so entirely bound up in this
-noble purpose, that the blow will be a terrible one when
-it comes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“We must wait, Miss Mallison, until he is as far as
-may be recovered, before we allow him to even suspect
-the actual state of the case;” the doctor added this,
-looking at Anna’s face with surprise and concern. “If
-I can serve you in any way, do not fail to call upon me.
-For the present I must say good evening,” and he
-hastened away.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_127'>127</span>Dr. Durham followed, walking along the hall by his
-side. The look in Anna’s face awed him. He felt
-that it was not his right to share in an hour of such
-conflict as this bade fair to be to her, for he perceived
-already something of what her missionary vocation
-meant to her. Anna, however, did not notice that he
-had gone; the crisis was too great to permit her paying
-heed to the accidental circumstances around her. A
-voice in her heart seemed crying with constant iteration,
-“Father! Father! What does God mean?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>For ten minutes Anna stood alone in the alcove,
-looking steadily before her, but in her bewildered pain
-seeing no outward thing, while in the far dim reaches
-of the hall the good old clergyman paced noiselessly to
-and fro.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>On one side Anna saw her father’s life, with all its
-deep renunciation, its pure aims, its defeat, and its one
-final hope of fulfilment in herself; she saw the look in
-his eyes as he bent above her in the little church that
-night, when she declared her purpose to become a missionary;
-she remembered his <i><span lang="la" xml:lang="la">Nunc Dimittis</span></i> as he blessed
-her with dying eyes; she lived again through the solemn
-hour of dedication, just after her father’s death, when
-the sense came upon her that she was called of God to
-carry on what her father began, to be in herself the
-continuance, and through divine grace the fruition, of
-his life. Since that hour life had meant only one thing
-to Anna; no other purpose or desire had ever entered to
-divide or diminish its control over her: she was set
-apart to carry the gospel of Christ to the heathen; this
-one thing only would she do.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This on the one side, strong as life itself, inwoven
-into the very texture of her soul and her consciousness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_128'>128</span>On the other side Keith Burgess, even now scarcely
-better than a stranger, and yet, by the will of God as
-she believed, bound to her by sacred and indissoluble
-vows. To be faithful to those vows, to save him from
-despair, perhaps from death, she must cut off all her
-past, must read her life all backward, must annul and
-declare vain and void the most solemn purposes of her
-soul.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>From his retreat, watching, Dr. Durham at length
-saw Anna advancing down the hall toward the door
-of her room. He met her there, a question he did not
-dare to speak in his tired, kind old eyes. Her face was
-as the face of one who has even in the moment received
-a spiritual death-blow.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He held his watch in his hand. Without speaking,
-Anna motioned to him, and he replied:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is nearly half-past five, my dear.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very well,” she said, her voice dull and toneless;
-“I will be ready at six o’clock.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As if in a dream she prepared herself for her marriage.
-She moved as if in response to another will than her
-own; her own will seemed to lie dead before her, a
-visible, tangible thing, done to death by her own hand.
-The white gown, Keith’s gift, seemed less a wedding-garment
-than a burial robe, and a strange smile crossed
-her face when she caught her reflection in the glass, and
-saw that, save for her eyes, her face was wholly colourless,
-the pale flowers on her breast hardly paler, hardly colder.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the clock-striking of the appointed hour, Anna
-entered the room, and, taking her place beside Keith,
-whose face was full of tender gladness, she lifted her
-eyes steadily to the old clergyman’s face, listening as
-for life and death to his words.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_129'>129</span>“In sickness and in health, ... for richer for poorer,
-... and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him.”
-Yes, all others. God only knew the significance of
-those words, for they seemed to mean God himself just
-then; but God would pity. He would help. Her
-response came low but unfaltering, and then, with bowed
-heads, standing side by side in their youth, their innocence,
-their patience of hope, they two listened solemnly
-to the last irrevocable words.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>So steadfastly Anna held herself until the end, but
-hardly had the final word of blessing been pronounced,
-when, with a low cry for help, she wavered as she stood,
-and fell fainting.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_131'>131</span>
- <h2 class='c006'>BOOK II<br /> <span class='large'>AFTERNOON</span></h2>
-</div>
-<div class='lg-container-b c016'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Hear now our cry for strength to bear the weight of prayers unanswered.</div>
- <div class='line in48'>—<span class='sc'>Maarten Maartens.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_133'>133</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XV</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c017'>The evil base of our society eats right through; that our wealthy homes
-are founded on the spoliation of the poor vitiates all the life that goes on within
-them. Somehow or other, it searches through and degrades the art, manners,
-dress, good taste of the inmates.—<span class='sc'>Edward Carpenter.</span></p>
-
-<p class='c010'>It was a month later, when a train from the east,
-entering the Fulham station at five o’clock of the February
-afternoon, brought Keith Burgess and his wife
-home.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith was apparently in fairly good physical condition,
-and looked and carried himself much as he had when
-Anna first knew him, although she could now detect
-the underlying weakness which he strove hard to conceal.
-He had been told in due time of what was
-involved in his illness. The shock had been severe
-both to mind and body, and for a while a serious relapse
-had seemed imminent. Those days had brought the
-young wife and husband into a new union of sympathy
-and suffering, as each strove to bear the burden of their
-thwarted lives bravely for the other’s sake. Not at that
-time nor at any later period was it possible for Anna to
-let Keith know to the full the meaning of this renunciation
-to her. He knew that to her, as to him, the abandonment
-of the missionary purpose was a profound and
-poignant sorrow; he did not know that it was the overthrow
-of all that had made her life hitherto, and that,
-whatever new forces and motives might produce out of
-the elements of her character, the old life, the first Anna
-Mallison, was slain.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_134'>134</span>Keith had told her little of what lay before them in
-his mother’s home, which was now to be theirs; they
-had been too deeply absorbed in the present emergency
-to take much thought for the future. This much, however,
-had been accomplished in a week’s sojourn in
-Boston: Keith would shortly be appointed to fill a missionary
-secretaryship, which involved much travel and
-speaking in the interests of the cause, but permitted him
-to make his residence in Fulham. The strong hope
-which Anna clung to silently for herself, as the last
-pitiful substitute for the calling now denied her, was
-that she, too, might still accomplish something for the
-work so urgent in its claims upon her, by presenting it,
-as occasion offered, among Christian women in her own
-land. But she knew that her life was no longer in her
-own hands to shape and direct as she might will; not
-only was Keith now to be her care, her chief concern
-and interest, but she looked forward to daughterly duties
-toward his invalid mother, to whom it was in her mind
-to minister with loving and faithful devotion.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As the train now drew into the Fulham station, Keith
-remarked, casually:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“There’s Foster, all right. I knew he would be on
-hand.” And, looking from the car platform, Anna saw
-a grey-haired man-servant in plain livery, who saluted
-Keith respectfully as he hastened to the spot, and wore
-an expression of solicitude and responsibility which
-stamped him at once as an old family servant. As they
-gave over their hand luggage to this man, and followed
-him out to the street where a plain closed carriage stood
-in waiting, an unostentatious “B” on the door showing
-it to be private, a deep perplexity and confusion began to
-rise in Anna’s mind. She had gradually become accustomed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_135'>135</span>to the luxuries of the life in the Portland hotel,
-and had regarded them as incident to the passage of a
-grave crisis, and justified, perhaps, by the necessities of
-the case; but she had not been interested in thinking
-farther along the line of the Burgesses’ worldly status,
-least of all minded to make it a matter of inquiry, consequently
-the sight of the man-servant and the family
-carriage smote her with a sharp sense of entering a new
-and undreamed-of outward life. In them was the first
-obvious token which had ever been given her of her
-husband’s home surroundings and worldly position. A
-vague anxiety and dread were awakened in Anna by
-these small signs of a life and habit so widely at variance
-with her own past of austere privation. She saw the
-low white cottage figured heretofore in her thought, in
-the narrow street, fading before her; the geraniums in
-the window, the cat on the cushion, the braided mats, the
-wooden rocking-chair, the little table with the Bible and
-cough-drops, wavered in all their outlines, and fell like a
-house of cards. How would it be with the figure of the
-sweet, saintly, patient invalid to whom she was to minister?
-Must that go too? Anna ceased to speculate, but
-she sat silent beside her husband, and her heart beat hard.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When the carriage stopped, it was in a fine old quiet
-street lined with substantial dwellings, and before a large
-brick house painted a dull drab. The house stood with
-its broad, low front close to the street; there were many
-small-paned, shining windows, and a brass knocker on
-the panelled black front door. Nothing could have been
-plainer or less pretentious, and yet the house bore, to
-Anna’s first intuitive perception, its own unmistakable
-expression of decorous and inflexible dignity and quietly
-cherished family pride.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_136'>136</span>As they entered the wide, low-ceiled, oak-wainscoted
-hall, a neatly dressed middle-aged woman advanced
-and, speaking in a low voice to Anna, asked if she
-would follow her up to her rooms, Keith introducing
-her pleasantly as his mother’s indispensable Jane.
-No one else was in sight; but Mrs. Burgess’s invalid
-condition seemed to account sufficiently for this,
-although Anna had supposed her able to move about
-the house, and even to go out under favouring conditions.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith joined Anna on the stairs, taking her hand in
-his. He smiled tenderly as he looked into her face, but
-there was a nervous eagerness upon him which he could
-not conceal. Was he thinking that he had chosen his
-wife for far other scenes and a widely different life?
-She could not tell.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“This was my old room, Anna,” Keith was saying
-now, as they stood in the doorway of a spacious bedroom
-with old-fashioned mahogany furniture and handsome but
-faded chintz hangings. There was a marble chimney-piece,
-over which hung a large picture of Keith, with a
-boyish, eager face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Jane now threw open a door from this room into
-another of equal size.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“If you please, I was to tell you this is to be Mrs.
-Burgess’s own sitting room,” she said respectfully, “and
-the dressing room and bath beyond the bedroom will be
-for your own use entirely after this,” and she crossed to
-open another door.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith drew Anna on into the sitting room.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well, now, this is certainly very kind of my mother,”
-he said, a flush of grateful pleasure rising in his sensitive
-face. “See, Anna, this has always been the state apartment,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_137'>137</span>the guest-chamber of the house, and she has had
-it refitted for our use.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How very kind,” said Anna, warmly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The room was, indeed, in its own manner, grave and
-subdued, a luxurious parlour, with good pictures, handsome
-hangings, and soft, pale-tinted carpet.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I must go down at once and tell the dear mother
-how we thank her,” said Keith, and Anna, left alone,
-returned to the bedroom and began to remove her travelling
-hat.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Jane was beside her at once, giving unneeded assistance.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Shall I unpack for you directly?” she asked, looking
-at Keith’s small trunk, which was quite adequate to
-Anna’s few belongings, added to her husband’s. Anna
-felt her colour deepen as she declined the offered help,
-and sat down with a little sigh in a great easy-chair.
-But she submitted perforce when the maid knelt at her
-feet, and, quite as a matter of course, removed her shoes.
-It was the first time since babyhood that this office had
-been performed for Anna by other hands than her own,
-and she felt all her veins tingle with a shy reluctance,
-but sat motionless.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Rising, Jane looked about, Anna thought with a
-shade of dissatisfaction that there was thus far so little
-to be done, so scanty a display of the small belongings
-of luxury.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“When you are ready to dress for dinner,” she said,
-with a touch of coldness, “I will come if you will just
-ring the bell. The bell is here,” and she indicated the
-green twisted cord and heavy silk tassel at the head of
-the bed. “Mrs. Burgess said she could spare me to
-wait on you for what you needed to-night,” she added.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_138'>138</span>“Thank you,” said Anna, gently, but with the quiet
-unconscious loftiness of her own reserve. “Mrs. Burgess
-is very good to think of it, but I am accustomed to
-caring for myself, and so I shall not need to trouble
-you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very well, that will be just as suits you, ma’am. I
-should be pleased to wait on you any time Mrs. Burgess
-doesn’t need me. Dinner will be at six o’clock, then,
-if you please.” Thus saying the maid withdrew.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Keith,” said Anna, with a perplexed countenance,
-when a few moments later he joined her, “I find I
-ought to dress for dinner, but I have nothing better to
-wear than this black gown. You ought to have told me,
-dear.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith looked down at the straight fashionlessness of
-Anna’s black figure with unconcealed concern.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I ought to have thought,” he said, “but it never
-occurred to me about your clothes. We must get you
-a whole lot of new things straight away, dear. We will
-do it together, and have a great time over it, won’t we?
-And you will put off the black now for my sake? I
-want to see you in wine-red silk and good lace.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, Keith!” cried Anna, “I cannot imagine myself
-masquerading like that. It would never do. But for
-to-night—that is the trouble now.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why, wear your wedding-gown, sweetheart; that is
-just the thing. What luck that we did get that!” and
-Keith was down on his knees before the trunk on the
-instant, and soon produced the dress which, being of
-fine white cashmere, with a little lace about the neck,
-was, in fact, altogether appropriate.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked puzzled. It seemed to her almost
-sacrilegious to put on that dress for everyday use, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_139'>139</span>the association with it made her shiver, even now, but
-she did not dispute the matter.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Just before six o’clock Keith ushered his wife into
-the library downstairs, where his mother sat waiting to
-receive them. It was the sort of a library which Anna
-had read of but had not seen—lined with books, furnished
-with massive leather-covered chairs and darkly
-gleaming mahogany, a dim old India carpet on the floor.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna saw by the shaded drop-light the form of a small
-woman of fragile figure, dressed in silver-grey silk, with
-a white shawl of cobweb fineness of texture about her
-shoulders. There were several good diamonds at her
-throat and on her hands, her grey hair was beautifully
-dressed in soft waves and fastened with a quaint silver
-comb of fine workmanship. Her face was pale and the
-features delicately cut; her movement as she advanced
-to meet Anna was slow, and, in spite of her diminutive
-size, stately, and there was a crisp, frosty rustle of her
-grey gown.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She took both Anna’s hands in hers with a cold, kind
-smile, and kissed her twice on her forehead, Anna bending
-low for the purpose. She seemed to be at an incalculable
-height above the fine little lady, and singularly
-young and immature. At twenty-two she had felt herself
-a woman for long years, with her sober cares and
-grave purposes; but to-night, before Keith’s mother, she
-suddenly seemed to become a shy, undeveloped girl again.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>While they spoke a little of the journey and the night,
-Keith Burgess turned on his heel and affected to be examining,
-with critical interest, an engraving above the
-fireplace, which he had seen in the same spot all his life;
-but he was watching them both aside narrowly as he
-stood. He was perfectly satisfied.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_140'>140</span>If Anna had been never so much prettier, and possessed
-of all of Mally Loveland’s confident social facility; if
-she had met his mother as the country girl of this type
-would have done, with eager and affectionate appeal that
-she should at once stand and deliver motherly sympathy
-and affection in copious measure,—there would have been
-only disappointment and chagrin. But Mrs. Burgess’s
-bearing was not more reserved than that of her daughter-in-law.
-At twenty-two Anna’s grave repose of manner
-was in itself a distinction, and one which had its full
-weight with the elder woman. Plainly, she had not a
-gushing provincial beauty on her hands to curb and fashion
-into form. As for good looks, there was a certain
-angular grace already in figure, an unconscious dignity of
-attitude and bearing which suited Keith’s mother, while
-for her face, the eyes were good, the brow very noble,
-and the expression peculiarly lofty. The succession of
-strong and sudden emotional experiences through which
-Anna had recently passed had wrought a subtle change
-already in her face; there was less severity, less of hard,
-conscientious rigour in its lines; a certain transparent,
-spiritual illumination softened the profound sadness
-which was her habitual expression.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At dinner, a delicately sumptuous meal, served with
-some state, Anna acquitted herself perfectly, having the
-instincts of good breeding, the habit of delicate refinement,
-and having learned at Mrs. Ingraham’s table many
-of the small niceties which she could hardly have acquired
-in Haran.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Already, within the first hour, while seeing that her
-mother-in-law had been physically entirely able to meet
-her children at her door at their home-coming, Anna
-perceived the inevitable consistency of her waiting to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_141'>141</span>receive them in due form and order. Formality and
-form were essentials of life in this house. This did not
-oppress Anna particularly, and she liked to look at the
-cameo-cut delicacy of Mrs. Burgess’s face. Still, perhaps
-never in her life, never in the cheerless chambers
-of Mrs. Wilson’s poor house, had Anna known the
-homesickness with which she ate and drank—that
-night at her husband’s table.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Poverty and obscurity were old and tried friends to
-Anna; among them she would have been at home.
-From wealth and social prominence she shrank with
-instinctive dread and ingrained disfavour. The familiar
-austerities of poverty were, to her, denotements of mental
-elevation, while the indulgences of wealth bore to her
-thought an almost vulgar pampering of appetite and
-ministering to sense. The trained perfection of the
-silent attentive service in itself was an offence to her.
-Why should those people be turned into speechless automatons
-to watch every wish and wait upon every need
-of three other people no more deserving than themselves?
-Could it ever seem right to her?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She excused herself early. Left alone with him, Mrs.
-Burgess laid her small hand on Keith’s, saying without
-warmth but with significant emphasis:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You have done very well, Keith, in marrying Miss
-Mallison. I confess I was not without some apprehension
-lest the wife who would have been a perfect helpmeet
-and companion for you in the foreign field might
-appear at some disadvantage in the life now before you
-in the ordering of Providence.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Anna is so absolutely true, mother, that she cannot
-be a misfit anywhere, except among false conditions.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mrs. Burgess bowed her head.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_142'>142</span>“I can see that she is a thoroughly exemplary young
-woman, and while she may have much to learn of social
-conditions in a place like Fulham, the foundation is all
-right.” She paused a little, and added reflectively: “Her
-eyes and hands are extremely good. Her figure will
-improve. I understand that her father belonged to the
-Andover Mallisons.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a little flicker of Keith’s eyelids, but he
-made no reply, taking up casually from the table a book
-at which he looked with mechanical indifference. It
-was a volume of Barnes’s “Notes.” This much only
-of Anna’s vision had had foundation.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_143'>143</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XVI</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>For the most part people do not think at all. They have little phrases
-and formulas which stand in their minds for thoughts and opinions, and they
-repeat them parrotlike. Most of their notions and ideas and prejudices are
-mere extraneous accretions, barnacled on to them by men and books in their
-passage through life, as shells are on a vessel, but not growing out of them or
-really belonging to them.—<span class='sc'>Anon.</span></p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Life in her creaking shoes</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Goes, and more formal grows,</div>
- <div class='line'>A round of calls and cues.</div>
- <div class='line in30'>—<span class='sc'>W. E. Henley.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>At the end of the week, on Saturday morning, Anna
-Burgess was sitting on a low stool in the middle of her
-bedroom, surrounded by a curious confusion and medley
-of miscellaneous things. Before her was an open cedar
-chest of large proportions; its pungent odour was mingled
-with the spicy smell of winter apples, dried fruits, and
-maple sugar. From the half unpacked chest, quilts of
-calico patchwork and soft home-woven blankets were
-overflowing; piles of snowy linen sheets and pillowcases,
-finely hemstitched and bordered with delicate
-thread-work, lay about the floor, together with body
-linen of equal daintiness, and books in dull and faded
-binding, while the red apples, rolled everywhere, studded
-the confused array as commas do a printer’s page.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In the chest still lay some old-fashioned furs and
-other clothing. Anna, as she sat, had her lap heaped
-with a quantity of yellowed lace, and a number of small,
-thin silver spoons. She was reading a letter, and, as she
-read, unconsciously tears were running down her cheeks.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_144'>144</span>“You must have known,” wrote Gulielma Mallison,
-“that I could not let my dear daughter go empty-handed
-to her new home. The box has been long,
-however, in being made ready, but I know your husband
-and his mother will make excuses, the marriage having
-been so sudden. Lucia and I have taken comfort in
-sorting out and preparing the things. The linen is,
-much of it, what was left of my own bridal outfit,
-but we have bleached it on the snow, and it is still
-strong. The silver I have tried to divide equally among
-you all. This is your portion. The little porringer, you
-know, came over from Germany with my mother, then
-the Jungfrau Benigna von Brosius.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I regret that I am unable to provide you with more
-dresses, etc., but there is little to do with and little to
-choose from in Haran. Indeed, I hardly ever get to
-Haran any more, my rheumatism is so bad, and the
-going has been terrible this winter. We got Lucia’s
-husband’s sister to buy the white cotton cloth, and sent
-it back by Joseph when he went down with a load of
-wood. The brown cloak I shall not be likely to need
-any more, going out so seldom, and Lucia says she
-doesn’t begrudge it to you at all, being much too long
-for her, and it would be a shame to cut off any of that
-material to waste. You know it is the best of camlet
-cloth, and there is no wear out to it. I have given Lucia
-the melodeon, and she says it is only fair that you should
-have the cloak and the brown silk dress. We got
-Amanda Turner to make that over for you by an old waist
-we had of yours. She was here three days, right through
-the worst snowstorm we have had all winter, and there
-was nothing to interrupt us. We turned the silk and
-made it all over. I think we succeeded pretty well.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_145'>145</span>I thought you really ought to have one silk dress, now
-you are going to live in this country. Of course you’ll
-be invited out to tea some, there in Fulham. The
-grey merino will do for afternoons. I made you four
-aprons, two white, and two check to wear about your
-work, and you’ll need them afternoons for taking care
-of your husband’s mother. Please give her my best
-respects. I send the dried fruit to her,—maybe it will
-tempt her appetite a little,—and part of the maple sugar,
-that in the little cakes. Lucia ran it for her especially.
-We thought maybe they wouldn’t have it down there
-in Fulham, that was pure.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am sorry we haven’t anything better to send Mr.
-Burgess, but I put in your dear father’s quilted dressing-gown
-as my particular present; his health being so poor,
-Lucia and I thought it might be acceptable. The books
-are for him, from your father’s library....”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The letter dropped in Anna’s lap, and covering her
-face with both hands, she burst into passionate tears.
-Her old life, in all its homely, simple sweetness called
-her mightily, and the sharp sense of her own separation
-from it now and forever tore her heart. Her mother’s
-inability to comprehend the new conditions, the eager
-self-sacrifice which had gladly shorn her own poor life
-bare of every lingering superfluity of possession that she
-might equip her child with such small dower as was
-attainable, had to Anna a pathos which seemed almost
-too poignant to endure. How well, oh, how well she
-understood the planning and contriving, the simple joy
-in each small new object gained; the delight which her
-mother and Lucia had shared in picturing to themselves
-her own grateful surprise in the manifold treasures stored
-in the dear old chest, itself an heirloom of impressive
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_146'>146</span>value in the Mallison family. And she was grateful
-beyond words to tell, and pleased and proud to come
-thus set out to her husband; and yet, these possessions,
-so unspeakably precious to her, would, she knew only
-too well, wear a rustic and incongruous aspect in the
-Burgess household. She knew that Keith and his mother
-would be gentle and respectful in thought as in word,
-but she knew the faint embarrassment which they would
-try to conceal in receiving gifts for which they would
-have no use; she knew the delicate, half-pitying, well-meaning
-sympathy, which could never understand, try
-as it would.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>On Sunday morning, Anna attended church with her
-husband and his mother for the first time, the latter
-making a great effort, since church-going was far beyond
-her usual invalid routine. When Anna presented herself
-in the hall ready to start, Mrs. Burgess, or Madam
-Burgess as she was generally styled after this time, had
-bit her lip and almost gasped, such was her amazement
-and dismay. However, she had said nothing, the situation
-being plainly hopeless, and she sat in the carriage
-in speechless anxiety, while Keith’s face reflected the
-same emotion. He had felt it impossible to interfere
-with Anna’s arraying herself as she had for church, seeing
-with his sensitive perception that the garments fashioned
-and sent her from her home by the hands of her
-mother and sister, for such a time as this, were in her
-eyes sacredly beyond criticism or cavil.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna now preceded him, following his mother, down
-the broad aisle of the stately and well-filled church,
-drawing to herself unconsciously the attention of many
-eyes. She wore over the soft overshot silk gown the
-brown camlet cloak which had formed in her mother’s
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_147'>147</span>eyes the chief glory of her simple trousseau. It was a
-long, circular cape, falling to the hem of her dress,
-drawn up about the throat and shoulders with quaint
-smocking after a forgotten art, and tied with a long,
-loose bow of changeable brown ribbon. The outlines
-of this garment were so simple and so natural that it
-could never, at any period or by any shift of fashion,
-become awkward, but it had at that time an effect of
-Puritan-like quaintness. She wore a dark, broad-brimmed
-hat with falling plumes, according well in simplicity as
-in colour with her cloak.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As she passed down to the Burgess pew, her height
-and bearing, the flowing outline of her costume, the
-purity and unconscious, childlike seriousness of her face
-with its clear brune pallor, the steady light of her hazel
-eyes, the lustreless masses of her dark hair, all combined
-to make a singular impression of mediæval loveliness, of
-something rare and fine and wholly distinct from the
-prevalent type of women in the ambitious little city.
-There were some who, seeing her, smiled and whispered
-at the quaintness of her dress; there were others who
-found their eyes irresistibly drawn again and again by
-the picturesque harmony of her figure; there were one
-or two persons who, watching the proud, pure severity
-of her face as she sat with her soul lifted to God and
-heedless of outward things, saw in her a woman fit for
-reverence and wonder, one whose spirit had been most
-evidently nourished on the greatness and simplicity of
-spiritual realities, and who was yet untouched by “the
-world’s slow stain.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>And so it came about that Keith Burgess and his
-mother, who had been dismayed at the lack of conformity
-to fashion in Anna’s dress at this first appearance in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_148'>148</span>their world, found themselves met, the service over, by
-men and women who had admiration and interest, sober
-and sincere, to express, and much to say aside of the
-singular distinction, the aristocratic dignity and charm,
-of the bride. Madam Burgess was not slow to produce
-the good points of Anna’s ancestry of which she had
-quickly possessed herself, thus enhancing the favourable
-impression, and she was ready to accept Anna, cloak
-and all, herself, when the son of one of Fulham’s leading
-men, Pierce Everett, an artist newly returned from Paris,
-came to her with a respectful but eager wish that Mrs.
-Keith Burgess would at some future day grant him the
-notable favour of sitting to him for some saint’s face and
-figure.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a little crowd about them as they passed
-out to their carriage, and much kind and deferential courtesy
-pressing upon Anna’s notice. A group of young
-girls on the church steps watched her with shy, awed
-glances, and murmured to each other that they adored
-her, she was so different from any bride they had ever
-seen; she was grave and quiet, and something of pathos
-and mystery seemed to remove her far from the conscious,
-fluttering pink-and-white brides of their experience.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The young artist, Pierce Everett, joined a friend, a
-professor of literature in the local university, Nathan
-Ward, as he walked away from the church.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What a study for a saint!” he exclaimed, with
-enthusiasm. “I did not suppose there was such a
-woman left in the world. Where can she have been
-saved up to keep that super-earthly look?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Professor Ward smiled. After a silence he said,—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Here’s a conundrum, if it is Sunday: Why is Keith
-Burgess like St. Francis of Assisi?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_149'>149</span>The answer not being forthcoming, Professor Ward
-presently volunteered it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Because he has espoused Poverty, Chastity, and
-Obedience. In Mrs. Keith these three are one.”</p>
-
-<p class='c010'>Fulham was a small city with a college of no great
-reputation, which called itself a university by reason of
-having a divinity school affiliated. Furthermore it was
-a seaboard town and had had a large shipping trade in
-former years, now slowly dying a natural death. The
-aristocratic circle of Fulham—there was but one—was
-as definitely marked and as strongly defended from
-invasion as it is possible for such a circle to be, even
-in an old New England town. In fact, it existed more
-obviously for its own defence and preservation from the
-ineligible than for any other reason; and only two classes
-of citizens were eligible,—namely, those who had some
-connection with “the university,” and those who inherited
-either poverty or riches from ancestors engaged
-in foreign commerce. These two agreed in one, and
-agreed to rule out all others. Thus the aristocratic
-circle was necessarily small and its social functions
-painfully mechanical and monotonous; its maidens
-were proverbially lacking in personal charms, and its
-young men, with rare exceptions, fled, escaping to more
-interesting and varied scenes; but it was supremely satisfied,
-rejoiced in the distinction of its unattainable exclusiveness,
-and looked with cold and unrelenting disfavour
-upon all strangers, newcomers, or fellow-citizens, however
-meritorious, who failed to possess the sole claims to its
-ranks.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Madam Burgess enjoyed a double title to membership
-in this exclusive circle. Her fathers before her, for several
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_150'>150</span>generations, had been shipowners residing in the
-house now her own, to which her husband, the Reverend
-Elon Burgess, had come, as an eminently suitable
-adjunct upon their marriage. Mr. Burgess had filled a
-minor chair in the divinity school for the ten years of
-their married life; he had not filled even this particularly
-well, being a man of small calibre, lacking in any trace
-of original power or talent, but his name was in the
-university catalogue, and hence his place in the ranks
-of Fulham’s high social circle safe forever. But, although
-of limited ability, Professor Burgess was fine of grain and
-fine of habit, and sincerely pious in a day when to be
-called pious did not awaken a smile. In the fear and
-faith of God and in true humility he had lived and
-died, leaving perhaps no very large and irreparable
-vacancy, and no overwhelming sense of loss or desolation
-even to his wife and son, and still having borne—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line in8'>“without reproach</div>
- <div class='line'>The fine old name of gentleman.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>As a girl Sarah Keith had given satisfactory evidence
-of a “change of heart,” and in a time of profound missionary
-awakening she had declared herself strongly in
-sympathy with foreign missions. To the position thus
-taken she had consistently adhered. All boards and auxiliaries
-to which she was available claimed her name on
-their lists. Missionary literature was always scattered
-abundantly in her library, her gifts were large, and her
-allegiance to religious interests was so completely taken
-for granted that it would no more have been questioned
-in Fulham than her place in its aristocracy. Certainly
-she never doubted herself that she was essentially a
-religious woman. Nevertheless, religion, whether personal
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_151'>151</span>or in its outreaching toward a world which she
-would have unhesitatingly called “lost,” consisted for
-her now in a series of mechanical observances, and in
-tenacious orthodoxy of opinion it had become a dry
-husk enclosing a dead seed. The brief blossoming of
-the religious impulse of her young years over, she had
-fixed her affections on the small adventitious trappings
-of “this transitory life,” and denied unconsciously the
-power of that other life, the form of which she so punctiliously
-maintained.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Her invalidism was becoming, not inconvenient on
-the whole, and not wholly imaginary. Such was the
-woman who was now by the ordering of Providence to
-rule and direct the unfoldings of Anna’s early womanhood,
-since Keith Burgess cherished a respect and
-submission to his mother which would have found
-something akin in Chinese ancestor-worship. He had
-reproduced in his own young life his mother’s early
-missionary fervour; that it was long dead in her case
-he did not suspect. With Keith this experience had received
-a strong accent from the temper of his college
-life, and from the possibility of an actual dedication of
-himself to the missionary vocation. It had thus become,
-as we have seen, for a time nobly and completely dominant
-with him, the strongest passion his life had known.
-He was himself surprised to find, on his reaction from
-the crisis of loss and disappointment connected with his
-illness and the abandonment of a missionary career, how
-natural and, on the whole, how satisfactory it was to
-settle back into his own place in his old home, to fall
-back into the small, comfortable interests of Fulham,
-and to find full soon an aspect of unreality and even of
-incongruity clothing his former ardent dream.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_152'>152</span>Not so Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The ordered precision, the formal, stiff monotony,
-repeated day after day in her husband’s home, the cold,
-conventional courtesies, the absence of any purpose save
-to maintain things in existing form without progress or
-alteration, for a time exerted upon her an almost paralyzing
-effect. A torpid dulness, a physical oppression,
-came upon her when shut up alone to the companionship
-of Madam Burgess, against which she found it
-impossible to struggle successfully. Accustomed to
-serious mental work, to much strenuous bodily labour,
-to the wholesome severity of long walks in all weathers,
-and more than all to the stimulus of a great, immediate
-purpose ennobling every homeliest task and smallest service,—the
-present life of inaction, of sluggish ease, of
-absence of responsibility of motive or purpose, was like
-the life of a prison. A heavy, spiritless apathy overbore
-every motion to fresh endeavour or to new hopes and
-incitements. She “fluttered and failed for breath,” and
-at times her heart seemed bursting with its longing, the
-old wild, girlish longing, grown still and deep, for freedom
-and for power.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With mechanical indifference she accompanied Madam
-Burgess on her daily drives, paid and received visits,
-shopped, and attended the various prescribed social
-functions, read aloud to Keith, and made a feint of embroidering
-the great ottoman cover which her mother-in-law
-had contrived for her leisure. It was a stag’s
-head with impossible square eyes, the head partially
-surrounded by a half-wreath of oak leaves and acorns,
-staring out of an illimitable field of small red stitches,
-numberless as the sands of the seashore, and significant,
-Anna thought wearily, of her endless, monotonous hours.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_153'>153</span>All the while, just below the surface, repeated
-through the long days, was the bitter conflict of her
-spirit, her perpetual, unanswered questioning, Why had
-God thus dealt with her? Why, with all power
-to save or heal, had he permitted the illness to come
-upon Keith which had thus brought to naught what
-she had supposed was the very and sacred purpose of
-her creation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Upon the intensity of youth and a nature of profound
-and passionate earnestness this thwarting of her dedicated
-purpose, this apparent rejection of herself from the service
-of God, worked piteous havoc. Anna did not grow
-sullen or rebellious, but she felt her whole interior life
-to be in hopeless confusion. Her sense of an immediate
-and personal relation to a fatherly God had suffered something
-like an earthquake shock. All the high faith, the
-sacred and filial purpose, the profound self-dedication of
-her girlhood, seemed to have been flung aside by the God
-whom she had sought to know and serve, with cold, blank
-indifference, without sign or suggestion of pity, of love,
-or of amends. The God of whom Mrs. Westervelt had
-taught her, a conception which she had gradually absorbed
-and assimilated as her own, a God closer than
-breathing, nearer than hands and feet, to whom the heart
-was never lifted in vain, whose presence could be indubitably
-felt and known, who answered every holy and
-devout prayer of his children, and who led them immediately
-in every thought and action—where was he?
-Either he existed only in imagination, or she was herself
-rejected by him as unworthy; and, in a depth below
-the depth of burning grief, she saw her father likewise
-despised and rejected.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A great protest, honest and indignant, rose up in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_154'>154</span>Anna’s heart. She knew that, as far as mortal man
-could be holy and harmless in the eyes of his God, her
-father had been; and she knew that her own purposes
-had been blameless and sincere. She refused to quibble
-with herself in regard to these facts; something staunch
-and sturdy in her mental constitution—not obstinacy,
-not pride, but sheer inward honesty—refused to seek
-accommodation in any forced paroxysm of humility or
-blind submission. With a sorrow which a lighter nature
-could not have comprehended, but with characteristic
-conclusiveness, she said to herself, the stress of her
-inward conflict spent, “I do not know God,” and
-composed her spirit in silence to wait.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the end of a month Keith returned to his class in
-the Massachusetts Divinity School, with which he was
-to graduate in June. Immediately thereafter he expected
-to enter upon the duties of his missionary secretaryship,
-and make his home in Fulham with his wife and
-mother.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thrown thus upon the sole companionship of Madam
-Burgess, and forced either to make the best of the situation
-or to appear the crude, undisciplined provincial
-who sullenly refuses to adapt herself to new conditions,
-Anna’s native good sense came to her rescue. With
-strong will she crowded down her mental conflict, while
-with conscientious earnestness she addressed herself to
-the duty of making herself a cheerful and sympathetic
-companion to her husband’s mother, and of filling the
-social position in which she was undeniably placed, however
-inscrutable the reasons therefor. New influences
-came out to meet and win her on every side, and she
-responded with a social grace, and even facility, which
-amazed all who had seen her first as the cold, pale, silent
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_155'>155</span>girl whose marriage altar had seemed rather an altar of
-sacrifice.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>An effect of singular charm was produced by this
-new mental attitude, the opening out of a nature until
-now so closely sealed. The native seriousness, the fine,
-direct simplicity, of Anna’s girlhood remained; but they
-seemed flooded with a new and warmer light, welcome
-as daily sunshine while the hardness, the rigour, and the
-severity melted away. She submitted without further
-protest to the comparative luxury of her surroundings,
-found it surprisingly agreeable, and discovered a fresh,
-forgotten joy in simple physical existence, which carried
-her bravely through the long, dull days of the Burgess
-order of life.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Notwithstanding all these things, below the surface of
-her life, often below the surface of her thought, lay an
-unplumbed depth of spiritual loneliness, a sense of double
-orphanhood, a voice which cried and would not be
-stilled; for while men and women had come near, of
-God she had become shy, feeling toward him as toward
-a dearest friend grown cold.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But one night, as she lay alone and wakeful, tears
-painful, not easily flowing, wetting her pillow, a sudden
-thought stung her by its throbbing wonder and delight,
-seeming great enough to reconcile all things, even God,
-who had filled her with bitterness, and hedged her about
-in all her ways.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She said to herself, “It may be I shall have a child,”
-and the deep places of her nature called to each other in
-joy and exultation; and she knew that, if this grace
-should be given her, all would yet be clear, and she could
-still believe in God’s love, and in his purpose in her
-life.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_156'>156</span>So, blindly groping through the rough and thorny
-way by which humanity has sought God through many
-ages, this human soul, sincere and humble, perpetuated
-the heart-breaking fallacy of conditioning the Divine
-Love, the Eternal Power and Godhead, on the small
-mutations of her own life, seen at short range.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_157'>157</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XVII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Affections, Instincts, Principles, and Powers,</div>
- <div class='line'>Impulse and Reason, Freedom and Control—</div>
- <div class='line'>So men, unravelling God’s harmonious whole,</div>
- <div class='line'>Rend in a thousand shreds this life of ours.</div>
- <div class='line'>Vain labour! Deep and broad, where none may see,</div>
- <div class='line'>Spring the foundations of that shadowy throne</div>
- <div class='line'>Where man’s one nature, queen-like, sits alone,</div>
- <div class='line'>Centred in a majestic unity.</div>
- <div class='line in34'>—<span class='sc'>Matthew Arnold.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>To some minds there is nothing more pathetic in
-human experience than the patient resignation with
-which average men and women accommodate themselves
-to the most disastrous and distorting of griefs
-and disappointments, nothing more amazing than their
-power to endure. If something of the brute nature is
-in us all, it is not always and altogether the animalhood
-of greed or of ferocity, but far more commonly the
-mute, uncomprehending submission of sheep and oxen.
-Though the futility of revolt is so apparent, the infrequency
-of it in human lives does not cease to surprise.
-The modern Rachel mourns for her children, and will
-not be comforted, but she goes about the streets in conventional
-mourning, orders her house with decent regularity,
-and probably, in the end, goes abroad for a time,
-and returning, enters with apparent cheerfulness into the
-social round. The modern Guelph or Ghibelline, banished
-from the political or intellectual activities which
-made life to him, finds readily that raving against time
-and fate is no longer good form, reads his daily paper
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_158'>158</span>with unabated interest, and enjoys a good dinner with
-appetite unimpaired. Very probably the man’s and the
-woman’s heart is broken in each instance, but what
-then? Life goes on, and the resiliency of the mainspring
-in a well-adjusted piece of human mechanism
-may be usually guaranteed, with safety, to last a lifetime.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In a year after her marriage Anna Burgess was diligently
-at work along the conventional lines of activity of
-her day for religious young women at home,—writing
-missionary reports, distributing literature, collecting dues.
-She saw nothing better to do. Her own private and
-innermost relation to God, it was true, had been dislocated,
-but the heathen remained to be saved.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>One morning, Keith being away from home, Anna
-came into Madam Burgess’s sitting room, her cheeks
-slightly flushed, her eyes shining, a letter in hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“May I read you this?” she asked eagerly; “I have
-been invited to give an address at the foreign missionary
-conference next month in H——. What if I could!
-I should be so glad.” Her eyes told the new and eager
-hope which this summons had stirred within her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>An added degree of frost settled upon her mother-in-law’s
-face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You can hardly mean, Anna,” she said, “that you
-would be willing to speak in public?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“But our missionaries do, and sometimes others,”
-Anna replied anxiously.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The case of missionaries is, of course, entirely exceptional;
-and they should never be heard, in my opinion,
-before mixed audiences. As for other women making
-spectacles of themselves, it would seem to be enough to
-remind you, Anna, of the words of the Apostle Paul on
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_159'>159</span>that subject. You would hardly attempt, I think, to
-explain them away.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna was silent.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“A woman who has a noble Christian husband, my
-dear,” continued Madam Burgess, more gently, feeling
-her case now won, “as you have, who is already at work
-in this very field of labour, has no occasion to leave the
-sacred shelter of her own home, and lift up her voice
-and exhibit her person in public gatherings.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Keith always said that I might still have a chance
-to do a little work in this way; I am sure he approved,”
-and Anna’s low voice faltered, her heart full just then of
-the memory of those first days of their common sorrow.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You have a very indulgent husband, and it is not
-strange if, in the first fond days of your married life, he
-may have unwisely yielded to some mistaken sense of
-duty on your part, and apparently committed himself to
-a purpose which he would later realize to be impracticable.
-Understand me clearly, my dear,” and the term
-of endearment sounded, from Madam Burgess’s lips, as
-sharp as the point of an icicle, “my son’s wife can never,
-without flying in the face of all her holiest obligations,
-both to God and man, present herself before an audience
-of people as a public speaker. A woman who does this
-violates the very law of her being, she ceases to be
-womanly, ceases to be modest, and loses all that feminine
-delicacy which is woman’s chief ornament.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The finality of these remarks clearly perceived, Anna
-rose from her chair, and left the room in silence. She
-never returned to the subject, but simply buried in her
-heart one more high hope of service.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This was the first time that Anna’s inexperience and
-young ardour had joined direct issue with Madam Burgess’s
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_160'>160</span>social creed. For a while everything had gone so
-smoothly that Anna’s first sense of disparity had been
-soothed to rest; all things being new, she had failed to
-see the full significance of certain limitations which
-hedged her in. Little by little she learned this, and
-learned the inevitable submission. She never appealed
-to Keith from his mother, controlled by a sense of the
-essential ugliness and vulgarity of a domestic situation
-in which the different elements are working and interworking
-at variance with each other. Furthermore, she
-learned very soon that, however sympathetic and gentle
-Keith might show himself toward her, he would, in
-the end, range himself on his mother’s side of every
-question.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Stratagem and indirection were alike alien to Anna’s
-nature and habit, but she inevitably learned, in process
-of time and experience, to avoid leading Madam Burgess
-to a declaration of definite positions, while she sought to
-enlist her husband’s sympathies in her own undertakings
-before his mother was made acquainted with them. Any
-plan which was brought before her by her son was comparatively
-acceptable to the elder woman. Thus wisely
-ordering her goings as women learn to do, Anna succeeded
-in reaching a fair degree of independence and at the same
-time a harmonious outward order. Her sacrifices and
-disappointments, the gradual paring down of her larger
-hopes and the dimming of her finer aspirations, she kept
-to herself.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Pierce Everett, the young artist who had spoken of
-Anna’s fitness for a model of a saint, had carried out
-his purpose, and had formally requested her to pose for
-him. With the cordial approval of both Madam Burgess
-and Keith, Anna had consented, and late in the winter
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_161'>161</span>the sittings began in Everett’s studio, which was in his
-father’s house. Madam Burgess brought Anna to the
-house for the first sitting. They were received by the
-mother of the artist, an intimate friend of Madam Burgess,
-and the older ladies then laughingly gave Anna over into
-Everett’s hands while they enjoyed a discussion of certain
-benevolent committee matters.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In the studio a little talk ensued regarding the projected
-sittings, and various considerations involved in
-them. These matters understood, Anna said composedly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am ready, Mr. Everett, if you will tell me just
-what you wish. I do not even know for what I am to
-be painted.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And you will not object, Mrs. Burgess,” said
-Everett, quickly, “if I do not tell you now? It is in
-a character which could not, I am sure, displease you,
-but I think it would be decidedly better that we should
-not discuss it, and that you should have no definite
-thought of it. Is this satisfactory to you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Entirely so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very well.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Immediately upon this Everett took his place at the
-easel and began a first rapid sketch of Anna’s head. He
-was a slight fellow, below the medium height, with a
-delicate, almost transparent face, a red Vandyke beard,
-and large and brilliant brown eyes. Quick and nervous
-in speech and gesture, he had the clear-cut precision of a
-man who knows both his means and his end.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna thought him very interesting.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the second sitting their talk chanced to turn upon
-the relation of the ideals of men and women to their
-practical lives, and Everett told Anna the old story of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_162'>162</span>Carcassonne, which was new to her. The train of
-thought thus suggested soon absorbed her, so that she
-forgot him and what he was doing. The sacred hope
-of her own life, yet unfulfilled, still centring in the hope
-of her father, the ever receding purpose of which she
-never spoke, cast its powerful influence upon her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>For half an hour neither spoke. Then Everett’s
-friend, Professor Ward, came into the room in familiar
-fashion, and the two men talked of many things.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When Anna left Nathan Ward said, looking over his
-friend’s shoulder:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“If you can keep that look, you will make a great
-picture.” Then he added, “But don’t fail to get her
-hands. They have the same expression.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>After that it became an habitual thing for Ward to
-drop into the studio at these sittings. It never occurred
-to Anna that her presence had anything to do with his
-coming. She supposed he had always come. He talked
-very little with her, but she liked to listen to his talk
-with Everett. It was distinctly novel to her—light,
-rambling, touch-and-go, and yet full of underlying
-thought and suggestion. Anna had known few men
-at best, none of the order to which these two belonged,
-men conversant with art and literature, music and
-poetry, and modern life on all its sides. Much that
-they said puzzled and perplexed her, but she found an
-eager enjoyment in it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then one day Professor Ward said to her, apropos of
-Shelley, of whom they had been speaking:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You do not join in this discussion, Mrs. Burgess.
-I am quite sure you could give us opinions much wiser
-than ours.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna’s colour deepened as she answered:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_163'>163</span>“I have not read Shelley in a great many years. Indeed,
-I know nothing of literature.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a little silence; Anna hesitated, half
-inclined to say a word in explanation of a fact which
-she plainly saw the two men found very surprising, but
-finally, finding the explanation too personal and too serious,
-remained silent.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As she started to walk home from the Everett’s, Professor
-Ward joined her, asking to walk with her. He
-was a man of forty, with a wife and a flock of little
-children. Anna knew the family slightly, but pleasantly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mrs. Burgess,” the professor began, as they walked
-down the quiet street, “I do not want to intrude or to
-be found inquisitive, but I am so puzzled by what you
-said a little while ago that I really wish you felt inclined
-to enlighten me. I know you never speak with the
-exaggeration and inaccuracy which is so much the habit
-of young ladies, and so I accept what you said as to your
-ignorance of literature as sober truth. But you are a
-well-educated woman. How can it be?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna was almost glad of a chance to explain. She
-was facing many new questions in these days, and she
-felt the need of light. She answered therefore at once,
-with frankness:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I deliberately gave up study on all these lines when
-I became a Christian. I supposed them to be contrary
-to the absolute consecration of my life to God.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Professor Ward looked perplexed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You cannot understand,” Anna said timidly. “I
-have felt since I have been in Fulham as if the language
-of my religious life in those days would be an unknown
-tongue here. I see that I am right. To you, Professor
-Ward, I am sure such a sense of duty as I speak of is
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_164'>164</span>unintelligible, but I can still say it was sincere. And it
-was not an easy sacrifice to make, for I had already
-grown fond of poetry, and longed to know more in a
-way I could never express.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I see,” said her companion, gravely; “you felt that
-the study of the work of men like most of our poets,
-whose religious positions were vague and not formulated
-according to our creeds, was likely to act unfavourably
-upon your spiritual life and experience.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes. To divide my heart, to dim my sense of a
-one, single aim in life.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And that aim?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“To serve God directly in every thought and word.
-That, and to try to save the souls of the lost.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Professor Ward had no key to the profound sadness
-with which Anna spoke, but he watched her face with
-earnest interest. She spoke with the unconsciousness
-of absolute sincerity. He was reflecting, however, on
-how much easier life might be if one could sustain, undisturbed,
-such bare simplicity of conception of human
-relations.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And so,” he said slowly, “you were going to
-prune away every instinct, every faculty of your nature
-which did not serve the immediate purpose of
-furthering what men call sometimes ‘the cause of religion,’
-and know and feel and be one thing only?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna bent her head in assent.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That is precisely what men and women do who
-seek monastic life.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked up at Professor Ward in quick surprise
-and instinctive protest.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” he said, with emphasis, “it was just as noble
-and just as cowardly, just as weak and just as strong, as
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_165'>165</span>the impulses which make monks and nuns. It is what
-people do who are afraid of life, who do not dare to
-encounter the whole of it, who have not reached the
-highest faith in either God or man.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then you think such a resolution, such a scheme
-of life, produces weak natures, not strong ones?” asked
-Anna, looking up with her honest, steadfast gaze into
-his eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I should say narrow natures, and yet I fear I ought
-to say weak ones too. Mrs. Burgess, do you not see
-yourself the weakness, the narrowness, of the position?
-It is what might be called the department system of
-human life,” and Professor Ward, with rapid gestures,
-indicated the drawing of sharp lines. “It is as if you
-said to your ego, your soul—yourself—whatever,—Go
-to now, this department of your life is religious; it
-sings hymns, reads a collection of sacred writings at regular
-hours, prays, gives away money to build churches,
-and performs various other exercises definitely stamped
-as godly. This other department loves nature, exults in
-beauty, pours itself into poetic thought, rejoices in music,
-expresses itself in art: but all this is secular, pagan—all
-men may have this in common who have not accepted
-my particular conception of the divine nature and its
-dealings with men; consequently all this is to be cut off—effaced,
-fought with to the death. Am I right?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna nodded, her face very grave, her breath quickened.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Does that seem to you a reasonable or even a noble
-conception? There was nobleness, I grant you, in the
-struggle, just as there was in the fortitude of the Spartans;
-but who feels now a desire to imitate that sheer,
-barbaric effacing of human feeling? No, no. That
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_166'>166</span>day has passed. We can begin to see life whole to-day;
-we can see God in nature, in poetry, in beauty, in ugliness
-even. He is all and in all. All things are ours
-and we are God’s! I wish I could make this clear to
-you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You have, in part,” said Anna, simply.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No way, however tortuous, by which men have
-groped after God can be indifferent to us, if we have the
-right sense of humanity. Trust yourself, Mrs. Burgess;
-trust the human heart throughout the ages. Believe me,
-with all the drawbacks, all the falls, and all the blunders,
-it has been an honest heart and is worthy of reverence
-and devout study. ‘Trust God: see all, nor be
-afraid.’”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have seen only one side of life, one conception of
-human nature.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That, at least, was a high and lofty one. For stern
-heroism of thought, commend me to that old New England
-Calvinism in which I see you were nurtured. It
-was fine; I glory in it, just as I glory in heroism everywhere,
-builded up on however mistaken a foundation.
-The worst of it, however, is that it completely deceives
-the human heart as to itself. It is terrible in its power
-to mislead. The elect are not as elect by half as they
-suppose. Calvin himself helped to burn Servetus, which
-was not really fine of him, you know. But I have said
-enough. I hope I have not wounded you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I do not think so,” said Anna, smiling faintly, “but
-I am amazed beyond everything. All that you say is
-so new.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They had reached Professor Ward’s house, which
-was very near that of Madam Burgess.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I wish you would come in a moment,” said Ward,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_167'>167</span>very gently; “you know my wife always likes to see
-you, and I want to show you some books in which I
-think you would be interested.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Without reply, Anna passed through the gate which
-he held open for her, and they entered the house together.
-Mrs. Ward met them, and they all went into
-the professor’s study.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In a few moments Anna was lost in the realm of
-books so long self-closed to her experience. She sat at
-his desk, and Ward handed her and heaped about her
-rare and beautiful volumes until she became bewildered
-with the sense of intellectual richness and complexity.
-She looked up at last, as he bent over her, turning the
-leaves of a beautiful old Italian edition of Dante’s
-“Commedia,” and, with a smile beneath which her lips
-trembled, she asked, like a child:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Tell me truly, is all this for me, righteously,
-safely?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Did I not tell you?” he asked gently. “‘All things
-are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s.’”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With that day Anna returned to the long-sealed books
-of her father’s love and her own. She read and studied
-under Professor Ward’s guidance and direction, steadily
-and with eager delight. She did this with no further
-misgiving or doubt. He had succeeded in satisfying her
-conscience, and she moved joyfully along the clear lines
-of her inherited intellectual choice.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As for her father and the example of renunciation he
-had given her, her heart was at rest. That which was
-perfect being come for him, was not that which had
-been in part done away?</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_168'>168</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XVIII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Are you the new person drawn toward me?</div>
- <div class='line'>To begin with take warning, I am surely far different from what you suppose;</div>
- <div class='line'>Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal?</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>       ·       ·       ·       ·       ·</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloyed satisfaction?</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>       ·       ·       ·       ·       ·</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Do you see no further than this façade, this smooth and tolerant manner of me?</div>
- <div class='line'>Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man?</div>
- <div class='line'>Have you no thought, O dreamer, that it may be all maya, illusion?</div>
- <div class='line in54'>—<span class='sc'>Walt Whitman.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>In her sittings in the studio of Pierce Everett, Anna
-had found from time to time numbers of an English
-magazine devoted to social reform. Some of these, at
-Everett’s suggestion, she had taken home with her and
-read with care. Coming to the studio one May afternoon,
-for the work had been laid aside for a time for
-various reasons, and only resumed with the spring, Anna
-laid down on a table three or four of these magazines
-with the remark:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I wish I knew who John Gregory is.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everett glanced up quickly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I mean the man who wrote those articles on the
-‘Social Ideals of Jesus,’” added Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you like them?” asked Everett.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I do not know how to answer that question,” said
-Anna, musingly; “perhaps you hardly can say you like
-what makes you thoroughly uncomfortable. What he
-says of the immorality of a life of selfish ease appeals to
-me powerfully.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_169'>169</span>“It is a great arraignment,” said Everett, working on
-in apparent absorbedness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What stirs me so deeply,” continued Anna, “is
-that this writer not only says what I believe to be true,
-but that he makes you feel a sense of power, authority,
-finality almost, in the way he says it. And by that, you
-know, I do not mean that he is authoritative or autocratic;
-it is simply that he writes as one who sees, who
-knows, who has gone beyond the mists of doubt and has
-a clear vision.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You are quite right, Mrs. Burgess,” said Everett,
-quietly, looking up from his work, his eyes kindling
-with unwonted light. “John Gregory is a man of his
-generation—a seer; as you say, one who sees. He is
-my master. You did not know, perhaps, that I am a
-socialist?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No,” Anna said simply; “I do not even rightly
-know what a socialist is.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is, as far as my personal definition is concerned,—there
-are a dozen others,—a man who believes that
-the aim of individual and private gain and advantage,
-to the ignoring of the interests of his fellow-men, is
-immoral; this, whether it is the struggle for the man’s
-salvation in a future life, or his social or material advancement
-in this.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked very sober. In a moment of silence,
-she was asking herself, “I wonder what becomes of
-people who are forced into lives of selfish inaction;
-who have to live luxuriously when they don’t want to;
-who are obliged to go in carriages when they far prefer
-walking; and who find their hands tied whenever they
-seek any line of effort not absolutely conventional?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Looking up then with a sudden smile, she exclaimed,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_170'>170</span>“I should like to ask this Mr. Gregory a few questions!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Perhaps you may be able to some time. He is in
-this country now, and he is so good as to honour me
-with his personal friendship. However, he passes like
-night from land to land; one can never count upon his
-coming, or plan for his staying an hour. But if I
-can bring it about, Mrs. Burgess, you shall meet some
-time.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Thank you. What is he? A clergyman, a teacher,
-or what?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You found something a little sermonic in his articles?”
-and Everett smiled. “I believe he can never
-throw it off entirely. He is an Oxford man, a scholar,
-and a writer on sociology. He is first and last and
-always, however, a Christian in the purest and most
-practical sense.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That seemed to me unmistakable.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“He used to be a preacher; in fact, he was for a number
-of years a famous evangelist in England, and also
-in this country. He was led into that work by a sense
-of obligation. I should almost think you must have
-heard of his wonderful success. John Gregory—his
-name was in everybody’s mouth a few years ago.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna tried to recall some vague sense of association
-with the name, which failed to declare itself plainly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“He was holding great revival meetings somewhere
-in New England, simply sweeping everything before
-him; all the great cities were seeking him, you know
-his income could have been almost anything he would
-have made it. All this I know, but I never heard a
-word of it from Gregory himself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“He is not doing this still?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_171'>171</span>“I will tell you. Really to understand, you must try
-to imagine something of the man’s personality. He has
-in the highest degree that indefinable quality which we
-usually call magnetism. He has an almost irresistible personal
-influence with many people. Well, on a certain
-night, four or five years ago, I should think, during the
-course of a most successful meeting, it suddenly became
-clear to him that he was bringing the people in that audience
-to a religious crisis, and to a committal of themselves
-to a profession of a knowledge of God, by doubtful means.
-I cannot tell you the details, I have forgotten them; but
-I know that he went through something like agony in
-that meeting, and that in saying the words ‘The Spirit
-is here,’ he had an overwhelming sense of presumption
-and even of blasphemy. He did not know that the
-Spirit was present. He was not sure but the influence
-at work was the product of music, of oratory, of his
-own will and personality, of the contagion of an excited
-crowd—in short, was purely human. If this were so,
-what could the results be but confusion and dismay
-when the hour of reaction should come? He was
-borne down by a sense of pity and remorse even for
-the coming spiritual doubts and struggles of the people
-who were at that hour placed almost helplessly in his
-hands, and abruptly he left the place—hall, whatever
-it was. That night in his hotel he made no attempt
-to sleep, but studied the situation, its dangers, its losses,
-its benefits, with the result that he never again held that
-order of revival meetings. Whatever good other men
-might do with the forces at work and put into their
-hands to wield at such crises, for himself he was convinced
-that the human had usurped the divine, and made
-of him, not only an unauthorized experimenter with
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_172'>172</span>souls, but a violator of their sacred rights, albeit hitherto
-unconsciously to himself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What has he been doing since?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Studying. He has gone deeply into social and religious
-problems, has travelled largely, has seen and talked
-with many of the most famous leaders of modern thought,
-and I think he has now some large plans which are
-maturing slowly. Meanwhile he writes such things as
-you have read.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The following week Anna was again in Everett’s
-studio. This sitting, he promised her as it drew to a
-close, should be the last, as he could finish the picture
-without her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Am I to see it now?” asked Anna, timidly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Not quite yet, if you can be patient still after such
-long forbearance,” was the answer, given with a bright
-but half-pleading smile. “I want you to like the thing
-if you can, Mrs. Burgess, and I know my chances are
-better if you see it when the final touches are on.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very well. I am not in a hurry.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When Anna left the studio the sun was low and the
-room fast growing shadowy. Seeing how hard and intensely
-Everett was working to use the last light of the
-day, she insisted that he should not come down the three
-long flights of stairs with her. The studio was at the
-top of the house. They parted, therefore, with a brief,
-cordial good-by, and earnest thanks from the young
-artist, whose admiration and reverence for his model had
-grown with every hour spent in her presence.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>On the second flight of stairs Anna encountered the
-housemaid coming up, a tray with a card in her hand.
-Otherwise the house seemed strangely still and deserted
-that evening. As she descended slowly from the broad
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_173'>173</span>landing of the main staircase, where a window of stained
-glass threw a deep radiance from the western sky like a
-shaft of colour down into the dim hall below, Anna perceived
-that some one stood there, waiting.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As she looked, amazement and a strange, deep joy took
-hold on her. The man who stood with arms crossed
-upon his breast where the shaft of light fell full upon
-him in the gathering shadow was of heroic height and
-stature, with a large leonine head, grey hair thrown carelessly
-from his forehead, strong features, and eyes stern
-and grave in their fixed look straight before him as he
-stood.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was not the first time that Anna Mallison had confronted
-this face. Twice in her girlhood she had seen
-it as she saw it now. It was the face of her dream, the
-dream which for years secretly dominated her inner life
-as a vision of human power and greatness touched with
-supernatural light. Even in later time, in this year of
-her Fulham life, she had at intervals recalled that presence
-and influence distinctly, and never without quickened
-pulses and mysterious longing. And now she saw
-bodily before her the very shape and substance of her
-dream.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With her heart beating violently and her breath painfully
-quickened, she proceeded down the stairs, through
-the hall, and so past the place where the stranger stood.
-When she reached him he became aware of her presence
-for the first time. Throwing back his head slightly with
-the action of one surprised, he met Anna’s eyes lifted
-with timid joy and dreamlike appeal to his face, and
-smiled, bending slightly as if in spiritual bestowment, and
-shedding into her heart the inexplicable delight which
-she had known before only as the effluence of a dream.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_174'>174</span>Neither spoke. The house door opened and closed,
-and Anna hastened down the street alone under the
-pale, clear sky, with a sense that the greatest event of
-her life had befallen her, but she knew not what it was.
-As she went on her homeward way she seemed to herself
-to be palpably taken up and borne onward by a power
-beyond herself, as of some rushing, mighty “wind of
-destiny.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She found her husband at home, alone in the dusky
-library by an oppressive fire. She wanted to tell him
-what had happened; but when she sought to do this she
-found that nothing had happened; there was nothing to
-tell unless she should seek to put into words that mysterious
-dream of her past, and this she found impossible.
-The dream was her own. No one else could understand.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith had returned from a long and tiresome journey
-in her absence, and Anna was filled with penitence that
-she had not been in the house to receive him and make
-him comfortable. He looked worn and dispirited, and
-complained of the weather, which she had thought celestial,
-but which prostrated his strength.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In her quiet, skilful way she ministered to him, hiding
-in her heart the deep happiness in which no one
-could share, and as she bathed his head he caught her
-hand and kissed it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, my wife,” he said, so low that she could hardly
-hear, “you are too beautiful, too wonderful for a miserable
-weakling of a man like me; but how I love you,
-Anna! Tell me that I do not spoil your life.”</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_175'>175</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XIX</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>I am holy while I stand</div>
- <div class='line'>Circumcrossed by thy pure hand;</div>
- <div class='line'>But when that is gone again,</div>
- <div class='line'>I, as others, am profane.</div>
- <div class='line in28'>—<span class='sc'>Robert Herrick.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>John Gregory stood in the studio with his friend,
-the first greetings over.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“May I look at your work?” he asked, approaching
-Everett’s easel. The younger man stood behind him
-with sensitive, changing colour, and something almost
-like trepidation in the expression of his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a certain quality of command in John
-Gregory, of which he was himself, perhaps, usually
-unconscious, which produced in many minds a disproportionate
-anxiety to win his approval. As he stood
-now before Everett’s easel, however, he was not the
-awe-inspiring figure of Anna’s dream, or even of its
-sudden fulfilment, but simply an English gentleman in
-his rough travelling tweeds, a man of fifty or thereabout,
-noticeable for his height and splendid proportion,
-for a kind of rugged harmony of feature, and for the
-peculiarly piercing quality of his glance. His manner
-was characterized by repose which might have appeared
-stolidity had not the fire in his eyes denied the suggestion;
-his voice was deep and full, and he spoke with
-the roll and rhythm of accent common to educated Englishmen.
-The aspect of the man produced, altogether,
-an effect of almost careless freedom from form, the sense
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_176'>176</span>that here was one who had to do with what was actual
-and imperative, not with the adventitious and artificial;
-in fine, an essentially masculine and virile individuality,—a
-man born to lead, not to follow.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Beside him, Pierce Everett, with his delicate mobility
-of face and the slender grace of his frame, looked boyish
-and even effeminate, but there was nothing of superiority
-or patronage in Gregory’s bearing toward the young
-artist, but rather a kind of affectionate comradery peculiarly
-winning, and he entered into the study of the
-young man’s work with cordial and sympathetic interest.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The canvas before them was not a large one; the
-composition extremely simple; the single figure it presented
-was set in against a background of cold, low tones
-of yellow. A crumbling tomb of hewn stone, with tufts
-of dry grass growing in the crevices, hoary with age,
-stained with decay, was set against a steep hillside of
-sterile limestone. Leaning upon a broken pillar of this
-tomb stood the figure of a young girl, her hands dropped
-carelessly upon the rough stone before her, her head
-lifted and encircled by a faint nimbus, the eyes fixed in
-absorbed contemplation, and yet with a child’s passionless
-calm. The outlines of the figure, in white Oriental
-dress, were those of extreme youth, undeveloped and
-severe, the attitude had an unconscious childlike grace,
-the expression of the face was that of awe and wonder,
-with a curious mingling of joy and dread. The subject,
-easily guessed, was the Virgin in Contemplation in early
-girlhood.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The picture was nearly finished, only the detail of the
-foreground remained incomplete.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>John Gregory stood for some time in silence. The
-face and figure before him possessed the expression of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_177'>177</span>high, spiritual quality common to the early Florentines;
-there was little of fleshly or earthly beauty, but an aura
-of celestial purity, of virginal innocence and devout aspiration,
-was the more perceived.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You have painted, like Fra Angelico, Everett, with
-heaven in your heart.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory spoke at last. The artist drew a long breath
-and turned away, satisfied. They both found chairs
-then, and settled down for an hour of talk.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Where could you find a model for such a conception?
-It would be most difficult, I should think, in our self-conscious,
-sophisticated, modern life.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was my model who created my picture,” replied
-Everett. “Mrs. Keith Burgess is the lady’s name.
-Seeing her at church, when she came here a bride, gave
-me my first thought of the thing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory looked at him meditatively.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is most remarkable that a woman who was married
-could have suggested your little Mary there, with
-that child’s unconsciousness in her eyes, that obviously
-virginal soul. When a woman has loved a man, she has
-another look.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everett was surprised at this comment from Gregory,
-who had never married, and who was peculiarly silent and
-indifferent commonly when the subject of love or marriage
-was touched in conversation. He answered presently:</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“When Mrs. Burgess was married and came here, she
-was in a sense a child. She was thoughtful and serious
-beyond her years in religious concerns, but quite undeveloped
-on all other lines, and as inexperienced in the motives
-and energies of the modern world as a child—I think one
-might have described her then as a very religious child.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Has she changed greatly?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_178'>178</span>“Not so much, and yet somewhat. She has begun to
-read, you see, which she never had done except on certain
-scholastic and religious lines; she has begun to think
-for herself somewhat, and in a sense, one could say, she
-has begun to live.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>John Gregory did not reply, but he said to himself
-that if she had begun to love she could not have furnished
-his friend with the inspiration and the model for
-just that picture.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He had come to Fulham only for the evening, being
-on his way to take a steamer from Montreal back to
-England. The two men had dinner together, and then,
-returning to the studio, conversed long and earnestly.
-Gregory spoke freely but not fully of plans which
-absorbed him, but which were not yet matured. Some
-theory of social coöperation was in full possession of
-his mind, and he had small consideration for things outside.
-Everett listened with serious attention to all that
-he said, and when he rose to make ready for departure
-he remarked:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Gregory, when the time comes that you are
-ready to carry into execution any plan embodying this
-principle of brotherhood, count on me, if you think me
-worthy. I am ready to follow you—anywhere.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory looked down upon the young man with his
-grave and winning smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Thank you, Everett; I shall remember. But do you
-know, my dear fellow, I want to ask a tremendous favour
-of you now, this very night?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Say on,” returned the other.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory had crossed the room to the easel, and now
-stood with a look intent on the picture of the young
-Virgin.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_179'>179</span>“It is a bold request, but I want to buy this picture
-of you now—before you have a chance to touch it
-again. Who knows but you may spoil it? It interests
-me unusually, and I want to take it with me to England,—to
-do that it must go with me to-night. I will pay
-you any price you have in mind. I want it for a purpose,
-Everett.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What! you mean that I should let it go to-night,
-before I have finished it, or shown it to Mrs. Burgess
-herself even?” and Everett looked almost aghast. “She
-has never seen it, even once, you know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” said the other, looking fully into the artist’s
-excited face with undisturbed quietness; “that is exactly
-what I ask of you. I will promise to return the painting
-to you at some future date if that should be your wish. I
-shall be over here again in a year.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everett stood for a moment, reflecting.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am very fond of the picture,” he said slowly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“So am I,” said the other, smiling.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everett glanced up, and caught the smile, and felt a
-strange control in it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You will have to take it,” he said, with a nervous
-laugh. “There is no other way.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then, put a good price on it, my boy,” said
-Gregory, with matter-of-fact brevity.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You will agree not to exhibit it anywhere, publicly?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Certainly. I could not do that without Mrs.
-Burgess’s consent.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How I shall make my peace with her, I am sure
-I cannot imagine,” murmured Everett, as he took the
-painting from its place, and laid it on the table preparatory
-to packing it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Will you tell her, please,” said Gregory, quite
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_180'>180</span>unmoved, “that I wanted the picture, and will agree to
-make good use of it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A sudden clearing passed over Everett’s clouded face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, to be sure, to be sure!” he cried; “Mrs.
-Burgess has read your recent articles in the <cite>Economist</cite>,
-and she is quite enthusiastic over them. It will be all
-right.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am sure it will,” said John Gregory. He was
-thinking of Anna’s face as she had passed him in the
-hall below, but he did not mention the fact that they
-had met to Everett.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_181'>181</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XX</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>That which has caused the miserable failure of all the efforts of natural
-religion is that its founders have not had the courage to lay hold upon the hearts
-of men, consenting to no partition. They have not understood the imperious
-desire for immolation which lies in the depths of every soul, and souls have taken
-their revenge in not heeding those too lukewarm lovers.</p>
-<div class='c018'>—<cite>Life of St. Francis.</cite> <span class='sc'>Sabatier.</span></div>
-
-<p class='c014'>To be content to have while others have not, to be content to be right while
-others are bound and crushed with wrong, to be content to be saved apart from
-the common life, to seek heaven while our brothers are in hell, is deepest perdition
-and not salvation; it is the mark of Cain in a new form.—<span class='sc'>G. D. Herron.</span></p>
-
-<p class='c010'>In the few years which followed her early married
-life, the cords of convention, slender, and strong as
-threads of silk, were wound closer and closer about
-Anna Burgess outwardly. As she grew older, Keith’s
-mother grew more immovable in her social creed, and
-ruled her family more rigidly. Anna might read and
-study, but if she would please her mother-in-law, it must
-be in the mildest of manners, and on strictly suitable
-and ladylike lines; religious biography was recommended,
-while all literature which conveyed a touch of
-freedom in thought, or a suggestion of a change in social
-conditions, was viewed with horror.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna might also be charitable, but this too must be
-on strictly conventional lines. There were numerous
-benevolent organizations upheld by Fulham’s fashionable
-women; the name of Mrs. Keith Burgess might
-figure frequently on these,—to this there would be no
-opposition, but individual and sporadic work among the
-poor was uniformly discouraged. The family carriage
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_182'>182</span>was often sent into the slums of the city on errands of
-bestowal as from the wealthy to those “less favoured,”
-but when Anna would have liked the carriage to take
-her on social calls on equal terms, in respectable but
-unfashionable regions, she met with a cold disfavour and
-unyielding lack of compliance.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Malvina Loveland, who had been married to the
-Rev. Frank Nichols, not long after Anna’s marriage,
-had come again within Anna’s horizon. Through
-Keith’s personal influence, exerted at Mr. Nichols’s
-request, a call had been extended to him to the pastorate
-of a church in Fulham. This church was not very
-large and not particularly prominent; furthermore, it was
-not in the “right” part of Fulham geographically, which
-was as distinctly limited as the social circle.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The Nicholses, delighted to come to Fulham as a
-university town of some importance, and to a church
-far more promising of obvious success than the mission
-enterprise in which they had worked in Burlington,
-innocently rented a cosey modern house on a pleasant
-street which, had they but known it, distinctly stamped
-them as socially ineligible from the day of their arrival.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mally, dreaming of nothing of the kind, entered upon
-what she expected to be a somewhat brilliant life socially,
-into which she saw her husband and herself conducted
-easily and naturally by the Keith Burgesses.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had received her old friend with most affectionate
-cordiality, and had spent days of hard work in helping
-her to order her house, which, as there was a baby
-and but one servant, was not a small undertaking.
-Madam Burgess had submitted with patience to the long
-absences and the preoccupation of her daughter-in-law
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_183'>183</span>thus involved, and had even responded without demur
-to Anna’s timid request that they might have her old
-friends to dinner.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This dinner closed the Nichols episode from the
-social point of view. The guests were full of cheerful
-and unfeigned admiration, eager to please, easy to be
-pleased, but their good will availed them nothing. Even
-Anna could not fail now to perceive poor Mally’s
-inherent provincialness, but had she been apparently to
-the manner born, it would have made no difference with
-Madam Burgess. The essential qualifications to entrance
-into her world being lacking, her punctilious and attentive
-courtesy for the occasion simply covered the inevitable
-and absolute finality of it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The Nicholses themselves, while by no means perceiving
-that the social career to which they had looked
-forward in Fulham was ended with this visit instead of
-begun, departed from the Burgess mansion with a vague
-sense of chill which all Anna’s efforts could not counteract.
-They were never invited there again. Madam
-Burgess had done her duty by her son’s wife’s early
-friends, and the incident, as far as she was concerned,
-was closed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna, burning with a desire to make up to Mally for
-the inevitable disappointment which she foresaw, and
-hotly, although silently, resenting the social narrowness
-which excluded all men and women whose lives had not
-been run in the one fixed mould, devoted herself personally
-to her old friend with double ardour. More than this she
-could not do. Mally wondered, as the months passed
-and they settled down to the undivided intercourse of
-their own obscure church and neighbourhood, that Anna
-made no attempt to introduce her into her own aristocratic
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_184'>184</span>circle. Over and over she bit back the question
-which would reach her lips, “Why?” Her heart fermented
-with bitterness and resentment, and her husband
-was taxed to the utmost to subdue and sweeten the tumult
-of her wounded feeling.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Another year brought Mally another baby, greatly to
-her own dissatisfaction. Poor Anna, the great passion of
-motherhood within her still baffled and unfulfilled, poured
-out her soul upon mother and child in vicarious ecstasy,
-and went home to lie awake for many nights with her
-ceaseless, thwarted yearning for a child; and thus these
-two women each longed passionately for what the other,
-possessing, found a burden rather than a joy.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As time went on, Anna, bound to a certain outward
-course of life alien to her natural bent, lived her own
-life just below the surface, a life like a flame burning
-beneath ice. All the master motives of her nature
-unapplied; all the initial motives with which life had
-begun, neutralized and made ineffective, she reached, five
-years of married life over, the point which in any human
-development is one of danger,—the point when great
-personal forces are dammed up by barriers of external
-circumstance, when the prime powers and passions are
-without adequate expression.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Meanwhile Keith Burgess, his young enthusiasms
-having lost their first freshness, the limitations of
-physical weakness and suffering making themselves
-more and more felt, settled into a narrow routine of
-life and thought. As his physique gradually seemed to
-shrivel and his delicacy of form and feature to increase,
-a resemblance to his mother, scarcely observable in his
-younger manhood, became at times striking. His missionary
-activity passed from its original fresh ardour into a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_185'>185</span>system of petty details, increasingly formal and perfunctory,
-even to Anna’s reluctant perception.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Perhaps it was due to Keith’s protracted absences
-from home, perhaps partly to his physical exhaustion,
-which made him dull and unresponsive when with her,
-but Anna felt, against her own will, a growing divergence
-in thought and interest between them. He was delicately
-sympathetic, chivalrously attentive, to her in all outward
-ways; but when she longed with eager craving for his
-participation in the life of thought and purpose which
-was stirring the depths of her nature in secret, she found
-scant response.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Driven inward thus at every point, Anna’s essential
-life centred itself more and more upon the new message
-of social brotherhood which she had found in the writings
-of John Gregory; and, unconsciously to herself, the
-ruling figure in her mind, as the symbol of the human
-power and freedom for which she longed, was his. The
-“counterfeit presentment” of this man in her dream had
-ruled her girlish imagination; and now his actual presence,
-though but once encountered, exercised an influence
-over her maturer life no less mysterious and no less
-profound. To this influence fresh strength was given by
-the relation, never-so-slight, which existed between them
-by reason of Gregory’s possession of the picture painted
-by Everett. How she was represented was still all unknown
-to her, still unasked; but must it not be that,
-owning this mysterious image of her face, his thoughts
-would sometimes turn to her? This thought stirred
-Anna with a thrill, half of joy, half of fear.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>An interruption in the routine of their Fulham life
-occurred after Keith had served the missionary society
-for a period of five years. An illness which manifested,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_186'>186</span>as well as increased, his physical inability to continue in
-his difficult duties brought Keith and Anna to a sudden
-course of action. Keith resigned his official position,
-and, as soon as he was able to travel, they sailed for
-Europe for a year’s absence.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This was a year of rapid development and of abounding
-happiness to Anna. Alone and unguarded in their
-life together for the first time since their marriage, the
-husband and wife grew together in new sympathy, and
-fed their spirits on the beauty and wonder of art and the
-majesty of nature in fond accord. The fulness and richness
-and complexity of the working of the human spirit
-throughout the ages were revealed to Anna; the grandeur
-and purity of dedicated lives of creeds unlike and
-even hostile to her own opened her eyes to a new and
-broader view of human and divine relations. Reverence,
-love, and sympathy began to usurp the place of dogma,
-division, and exclusion in her mental energies. She
-began to perceive that the righteous were not wholly
-righteous, nor the wicked wholly wicked. The old
-ground plan of the moral universe with which she had
-started in life looked now a mean and narrow thing.
-Larger hopes and a bolder faith awoke in her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>And so in mind, and also in body, Anna grew joyously
-and freely; even her attitudes and motions expressed a new
-harmony, while suavity and grace of outline succeeded to
-the meagre and angular proportions of her youth.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The return to Fulham came, when it could no longer
-be postponed, as an unwelcome period to their best year
-of life. Madam Burgess received her children with
-affectionate, albeit restrained, cordiality, and watched
-Anna with keen eyes on which no change, however
-slight, was lost.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_187'>187</span>When mother and son were left alone on the night
-of the return, as on the night when Keith brought his
-wife home a bride, Madam Burgess spoke plainly and
-directly of Anna. She had never discussed her characteristics
-from that night until the present, but she felt
-that another epoch was reached, and a few remarks
-would be appropriate.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“My son,” she said, “do you remember the night
-when you brought Anna home to this house as a
-bride?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Perfectly, mother.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“So do I. I have been going back continually in
-thought to-night to that time. Without undue partiality,
-Keith, I think we are justified in a little self-congratulation.
-Anna has developed slowly, but she has now
-reached the first and best bloom of her maturity. You
-brought her here a shy, angular, country-bred, undeveloped
-girl, although I will not deny that she had distinction,
-even then; to-night you bring her again not only
-a <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">distingué</span></i> but a beautiful woman,—yes, Keith, I really
-mean it,—a beautiful woman, and with a certain charm
-about her which makes her capable of being a social
-leader, if she chooses to exert her power. I understand
-she has purchased some good gowns in Paris. I have
-about concluded to give a reception next month in
-honour of your return, if my health permits.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The reception, which Madam Burgess’s health was
-favoured to permit, proved to be as brilliant an event
-as social conditions in Fulham rendered possible. The
-fine old house was radiant with flowers and wax-lights,
-and the company which was gathered was the most distinguished
-which the little city could muster. In the
-midst of all the gay array stood Keith and Anna,—he
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_188'>188</span>with his small, slight figure, his scrupulously gentlemanly
-air, his thin, worn face and nervous manner; she
-tall and stately, with her characteristic repose illuminated
-by new springs of thought, perception, and feeling, full
-of swift and radiant response to each newcomer’s word,
-overflowing with the first fresh joy of her awakened
-social instinct.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Professor Ward stood with Pierce Everett aside, and,
-watching Anna, said in a lowered voice:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mrs. Burgess is a woman now, through and through.
-Would you know her for the girl whom Keith brought
-here half a dozen years ago?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I could not find my little maiden Mary in that
-queenly creature!” exclaimed Everett.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No; you were just in time with that mysterious disappearance
-of yours, bad luck to you that you made
-way with it, however you did!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It has taken her a good while to accept the world’s
-standards and fit herself to the world’s groove, but
-Madam Burgess has been patient and diligent, and I
-think she has succeeded at last,” said Everett gravely;
-“she will run along all right after this.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You think Mrs. Keith will live to sustain the family
-traditions hereafter, do you? And Keith, what is to
-become of him? He seems to have dropped off his
-missionary enthusiasm with singular facility.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Precisely. You will have to create a nice little
-chair for him in the university now, to keep him in the
-correct line of his descent. By and by, you know, he
-will have the estate to administer. That will be something
-of an occupation.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then he probably will take to collecting things,”
-Ward added, “coins or autographs—”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_189'>189</span>“Oh, come, Ward, you’re too bad,” laughed Everett.
-“You don’t know Keith Burgess as well as I do.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Later in the evening Anna was summoned from her
-guests to speak with some one who had called on an
-urgent matter which could not be put by until another
-time.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The fine hall, as she passed along it, was alive
-with lights, fragrance, music, and airy gayety; her own
-elastic step, her exquisite dress, her joyous excitement
-in the first taste of social triumph which the evening
-was bringing to her, accorded well with the environment.
-For the first time in her life, Anna had seen that
-she was beautiful; had felt the potent charm of her own
-personality; had found that she could draw to herself the
-homage and admiration of her social world. These
-perceptions had not excited her unduly, but they had
-given her a new sense of herself, a strong exhilaration
-which expressed itself in the lustre of her eyes, the
-brightness of every tone and tint of her face, in the way
-she held her head, in the clear, thrilling cadence of her
-voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Once again, after long dimness and confusion, life
-seemed about to declare itself to her, and the energies of
-her nature to find a free channel. At last she might
-move in the line of least resistance, and fill the place she
-was expected to fill, without further conflict or question.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It looked a pleasant path that night, and submission a
-sweet and gracious thing.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With a half smile still on her lips, and the spirit of
-the hour full upon her, Anna came to the house door and
-opened it upon the outer vestibule, where she had been
-told the messenger would await her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The man who stood there was John Gregory.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_190'>190</span>Anna softly closed the door behind her, and looked up
-into his face. It wore a different aspect from that which
-she remembered, for it was stern and unsmiling, and
-more deeply grave and worn than she had seen it. But
-even more than before the person of the man seemed to
-overawe her with a sense of power and command.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you remember me, Mrs. Burgess?” he asked
-simply.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And I know you through my friend, through the
-picture he painted once of you. You must pardon my
-intruding upon you to-night. I could not do otherwise. I
-have a message for you, and I am here only for to-night.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna did not speak, but her eyes were fixed upon his
-in earnest question, as if in some mysterious way he
-held destiny in his hands.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No man could paint that picture from you now,”
-he proceeded slowly, gently, and yet with a kind of
-unflinching severity; “you had the vision then. You
-have lost it now. You saw God once. To-night you
-see the world. Once your heart ached for the sorrows
-of others; now it thrills with your own joys. You
-have given up great purposes, and are accepting small
-ones. I have been sent to say to you: keep the word
-of the kingdom and patience of Christ steadfast to the
-end, and hold that fast which was given that no man
-take your crown.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>These words, spoken with the solemnity of a prophetic
-admonition, pierced Anna’s consciousness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A faint cry, as if in remonstrance, broke from her
-lips, but already Gregory had turned, and before she
-could speak she found herself alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With strong control Anna returned, and mingled with
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_191'>191</span>her guests without perceptible change of manner. When,
-however, the last carriage had rolled down the street,
-and the house itself was dark and still, she escaped
-alone to her own room to live over and over again that
-strange summons and challenge of John Gregory.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Now the sense of what he had said roused her to
-burning indignation and protest, and again to contrition.
-She knew that she was blameless and approved if tried
-by the standards of the people now about her, and they
-were the irreproachable, church-going people of Fulham.
-She was simply conforming to the demands of an orderly
-and balanced social life, and pleasing those most interested
-in her. But she also knew that, as tried by the
-standards of her father, and her own early convictions,
-in the social and intellectual ambitions which now
-animated her, she was learning to love “the world and
-the things of the world,” to know “the lust of the
-flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.”
-The voice of her past spoke clearly through the voice
-of John Gregory and must be heard. The things which
-she had thought to put away forever in the solemn
-dedication of her girlhood had gradually returned, and
-silently established themselves in her life in the guise of
-duties, necessities, conformities to the wishes of others.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But of late she had come to regard those early scruples
-almost as superstitious. Where lay the absolute right—the
-truth? the will of God concerning her? Why
-was life so hard? Why was it impossible to even know
-the good? What right had John Gregory to spoil, as
-he had spoiled, this latest development of life for her,
-and give her nothing in its place? She resented his
-interference, and yet felt that she should inevitably yield
-herself to its influence.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_192'>192</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXI</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>My thwarted woman-thoughts have inward turned,</div>
- <div class='line'>And that vain milk like acid in me eats.</div>
- <div class='line'>Have I not in my thought trained little feet</div>
- <div class='line'>To venture, and taught little lips to move</div>
- <div class='line'>Until they shaped the wonder of a word?</div>
- <div class='line'>I am long practised. O those children, mine!</div>
- <div class='line'>Mine, doubly mine: and yet I cannot touch them,</div>
- <div class='line'>I cannot see them, hear them—Does great God</div>
- <div class='line'>Expect I shall clasp air and kiss the wind</div>
- <div class='line'>For ever? And the budding cometh on,</div>
- <div class='line'>The burgeoning, the cruel flowering:</div>
- <div class='line'>At night the quickening splash of rain, at dawn</div>
- <div class='line'>That muffled call of birds how like to babes;</div>
- <div class='line'>And I amid these sights and sounds must starve—</div>
- <div class='line'>I, with so much to give, perish of thrift!</div>
- <div class='line'>Omitted by his casual dew!</div>
- <div class='line in38'>—<span class='sc'>Stephen Phillips.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>The next morning Anna was sent for to go to Mrs.
-Nichols, whom she had hardly seen since her return
-from Europe.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She found her sitting in her nursery with her two
-little children playing about her feet. She was near her
-third confinement, and in the shadow of her imminent
-peril and the heavy repose laid upon body and spirit by
-her condition there was an indescribable dignity about
-her which Anna had never felt until now.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Before she left, Mally, with wistful eyes, looked up to
-her, and said, timidly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Anna, you love little children. No one that I ever
-saw takes mine in her arms as you do—not even I who
-am their mother.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_193'>193</span>“Oh, Mally!” Anna cried, sharp tears piercing their
-way. “If that is true, it must be because my heart
-never stops aching for a child of my own. I know now
-that we shall never have children, and I try to be reconciled;
-but you can never know, dear, how I envy you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do not envy me,” Mally answered, her lips trembling.
-“You do not know what it means to sit here
-to-day and see the shining of the sun on the children’s
-hair, and touch their little heads with my hand, and
-smell those roses you brought, and yet think that to-morrow
-at this time I may be gone beyond breath, sight,
-the sun, the children—”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Dear, don’t, don’t,” Anna pleaded; “you must not
-think so. You have been helped through safely before;
-you will be again. People always have these times of
-dread.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mally shook her head, but answered quietly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have never felt before like this, but only God
-knows. But this is why I sent for you: If my little
-baby lives, and is a perfect child, and I am taken away,
-would you, Anna, do you think you could—take my
-baby for your own, for always?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, if I could!” and all Anna’s heart went out in
-the cry, and Mally saw the love which shone in her
-eyes and wondered at her strange beauty.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am sure you will come through safely as you have
-before,” she said, “but this I promise you, Mally,”
-taking her friend’s hand and holding it fast, “if you
-should be taken from your children, and they will let
-me,—I mean if my husband and his mother should
-consent, for I am not quite free, you see,—I will take
-your little baby and it shall be my very own, and I will
-be its mother while we both live, God helping me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_194'>194</span>A look of deep joy and relief in Mally’s poor pale
-face was full response, and the two parted with a sense
-of a deeper union of spirit than they had ever known
-before.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Early on the following morning, after a wakeful and
-anxious night, Anna hastened to the Nicholses’ home.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mally’s husband met her with a stricken face, for a
-swift and sudden blow had fallen; her trial had come
-and his wife had died, hardly an hour before. There
-had been no time to send for Anna, although Mally had
-spoken her name almost at the last.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They stood together in the poor, gay little parlour
-which Mally had adorned with high hopes of the
-abundant life into which she fancied herself entering,—the
-young husband with his grief-wrung, ashy face,
-Anna with her heart melted in sorrow and compassion.
-While neither could speak for their tears, the faint wail
-of a little child smote upon the silence from a room
-within.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The baby?” Anna asked under her breath.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A deeper darkness seemed to settle upon Nichols’s
-face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, a boy. A fine little fellow, they say; but I feel
-as if I could not look at him. I have not seen him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna turned and left the room, and in another moment,
-in the dark inner room where she had sat with
-Mally in the sunshine the day before, she took Mally’s
-baby into her arms, and bent her head above it with a
-great sense of motherhood breaking over her spirit like
-a wave from an infinite sea.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She stood and held the tiny creature for many moments,
-alone and in silence, while joy and sorrow, life and death,
-passed by her and revealed themselves. Then she laid
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_195'>195</span>the baby down and went up to the room where Mally
-lay, white and still, with something of the beauty of her
-girlhood in her face, and the great added majesty of
-motherhood and death. On her knees Anna bent over
-the unanswering hand which yesterday she had seen laid
-warmly on the fair curls of her little children, and, in the
-hush and awe of the place, spoke again her solemn promise
-of yesterday.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>After that she came down to the children and their
-father, and took quietly into her own hands the many
-cares which the day had brought.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was late in the evening when Anna, exhausted and
-unnerved, returned home. She found Keith and his
-mother waiting for her in the library,—Keith hastening
-to welcome her with tender sympathy, Madam Burgess
-a shade colder than usual beneath a surface of suitable
-phrases of solicitude and condolence. She had been
-absolutely indifferent to Mrs. Nichols in life, and did
-not find her deeply interesting even in death. Furthermore,
-she always resented Anna’s spending herself upon
-that family, and in the present affliction she felt that
-flowers and a ten-minute call would have answered every
-demand.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>If Anna had been steadier and less under the influence
-of the piteous desolation of the home she had left, less
-absorbed in her own ardent purpose, she would have
-realized that this was not the time or place in which
-to make that purpose known. If she had waited, if
-she had talked with her husband alone, the future of
-all their lives might have taken a different shape. But
-with the one controlling thought in her mind, forgetting
-how impossible it was for these two, not highly gifted
-with imaginative sympathy, to enter into her own deep
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_196'>196</span>emotion, she spoke at once of Mally’s request that in the
-event of her death she should take her baby; of her own
-conditional promise, and of her deep desire to fulfil it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a little silence, chill and bleak, and then
-Keith said, in a half-soothing tone as if she had been an
-excited child, hurrying in with a manifestly impossible
-petition:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was a very sweet and generous wish on your part,
-Anna; so like you, dear.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked at him in silence, her lips parted.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Madam Burgess gave a dry cough, and partook of a
-troche from a small silver box which she carried in a
-lace-trimmed bag.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, as Keith says, my dear, it was a kind impulse
-on your part, but it certainly was a very singular action
-on that of your friend. She was probably too ill, poor
-thing, at the time to realize just what she was asking.
-I have no doubt you were quite excusable for giving her
-some sort of a conditional promise, considering all the
-circumstances. But you need have no sense of responsibility
-in the matter; infants left like that never live. It
-will only be a question of a few weeks’ care for any
-one.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna turned her eyes from her mother-in-law back to
-her husband in mute amazement and appeal. They could
-not mean to deny her this sacred right! It was impossible.
-And yet a sudden sense of the incongruity of poor
-Mally’s baby in that house smote sharply upon her for
-the first time.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“If it had been God’s will that we should have had
-children of our own, Anna,” said Keith, in answer to
-her look, “we should have learned to fit ourselves to
-the many cares and responsibilities involved, I do not
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_197'>197</span>doubt, as others do; but it is very different to go out
-of our way to assume such cares, not ours in any legitimate
-sense. I think the question is more serious than
-you realize in the very natural and proper emotion which
-you are passing through in the death of your friend. We
-certainly could not ask mother to take this strange child,
-and all that would be involved in such a relation, into
-her house; and we are, I am sure, as little prepared to
-leave mother and break up our natural order of life,”
-and Keith smiled with kind conviction into Anna’s face.
-She rose slowly and stood with eyes fixed before her,
-and a strange light was in them, which her husband had
-never seen before.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That is all perfectly true, Keith,” said Madam Burgess,
-as if to finish up the case against poor Anna; “and
-even if all this were not so, there would remain one insuperable
-obstacle to adopting this infant—an absolutely
-insuperable obstacle.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What is it?” asked Anna, very low.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Blood, my dear. I believe in blood, and never, with
-his mother’s consent or approval, could my son give his
-name, and all that that means, to a child of alien stock.
-Never.” And Madam Burgess closed her lips firmly
-and folded her hands peacefully upon her grey silk gown
-with the consciousness of occupying a perfectly unassailable
-position.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna moved toward the door, a curious effect in her
-step and bearing as of one physically wounded, her head
-drooped slightly as if in submission, her eyes downcast.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When she reached the door, however, a swift change
-passed over her; a sudden energy and power awoke in
-her, and she turned, and, looking back at mother and
-son, her eyes flashing light, and a smile they had never
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_198'>198</span>seen before upon her lips, said quietly, but with slow
-emphasis:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You have decided this matter. You have each
-other; you are satisfied. I shall submit, as you know.
-Once more you have taken my life—its most sacred
-promise and its highest purpose—out of my hands.
-This time another life, too, is involved. One thing
-only you must let me say, <em>I wonder how you dare</em>!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Facing them for an instant in silence, she turned, and
-went alone to her room.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_199'>199</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>One by one thou dost gather the scattered families out of the earthly light into
-the heavenly glory, from the distractions and strife and weariness of time to the
-peace of eternity. We thank thee for the labours and the joys of these mortal
-years. We thank thee for our deep sense of the mysteries that lie beyond our
-dust.—<span class='sc'>Rufus Ellis.</span></p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>By Thy Rod and Thy Staff comfort us.</div>
- <div class='line in28'>—<span class='sc'>Christina Rossetti.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>Two days later, in response to a note from Pierce
-Everett, Anna went to the studio. He wrote that John
-Gregory had passed through Fulham and had left the
-picture, in which she might still feel some lingering
-interest.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna left Keith and his mother diligently occupied in
-their daily task of arranging and copying Keith’s European
-letters and journals, interspersing them with careful
-and copious notes from Baedeker. From this laborious
-undertaking, which absorbed mother and son in mutual
-and sympathetic devotion, Anna was self-excluded,
-simply because she found the letters of merely passing
-interest, but not of marked or lasting value and concern.
-Madam Burgess confessed that she could think of no
-occupation more graceful or becoming a young wife
-than this of putting in permanent form the beautiful
-and instructive correspondence of her beloved husband,
-and she found a new cause for disapproval in Anna’s
-indifference to the work. In her own heart Anna hid
-a great protest against the substitution of puerile and
-unproductive work like this, for the serious altruistic
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_200'>200</span>endeavour to which she still felt that she and Keith were
-both inwardly pledged. But this was an old issue, and
-one, indeed, to-day almost forgotten before her passionate
-grief concerning Mally, buried yesterday, and the
-promise to her which might not be fulfilled. The pitiful
-cry of Mally’s baby seemed to sound continually in her
-ears.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But another, even deeper, consciousness was that of
-the condemnation, brief, sharp, conclusive, of herself by
-John Gregory. She believed now that his judgment of
-her and of the line along which she was developing was
-in a measure just—but what then? It had suddenly
-become definitely declared in Anna’s thought, with no
-further shading or disguise, that a life of worldly ease,
-of self and sense-pleasing, of fashionable charity and
-conventional religion and of intellectual stagnation, was
-the only life which could be lived in harmony with the
-spirit of her home. Her soul lay that day in the calm
-which often falls upon strong natures when profound
-passions and powers are gathering in upheaval just below
-the surface. To conform, or to revolt, or to lead the
-wretched life of spiritual discord which seeks to avoid
-alike conformity and freedom, were the hard alternatives
-before Anna, as she thought, that day.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Pierce Everett, meeting her at the door of his studio,
-was startled by the pallor and sadness of her face, like
-that of her earlier years, but forebore to question her.
-He had expected to see her in the joyous bloom of his
-last view of her; he had looked for her to fulfil his
-prophecy.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The light tone of badinage and compliment with
-which he had involuntarily started to receive her fell
-from him now as impossible, seeing her face, and in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_201'>201</span>almost utter silence he led her across the room and
-pointed to the picture of the Girlhood of Mary.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>After a few moments Anna said simply, without
-turning to Everett, her eyes still on the picture:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Did <em>I</em> once look like that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Gregory said no one could paint this from me
-now,” Anna said slowly, as if to herself, not knowing
-that tears were falling down her cheeks.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You are older, that is all,” said Everett, gently.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No, that is not all. I have lost something which I
-had then.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“We all lose something with our child-soul, Mrs.
-Burgess,” cried Everett, earnestly; “but you have gained
-more than you have lost. John Gregory was not fair
-to you to leave you with a word like that. You were a
-child then; now you are a woman. That face in my
-picture is not the face of a Madonna, yet. It did not
-seek to be, but we do not blame it for that. Should we
-blame the Mater Dolorosa that she has no longer the
-face of a child?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Thank you,” Anna said humbly, and held out her
-hand, which the young man caught in his and held with
-reverence.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She left the studio hastily, not daring to say more, a
-childless mother of sorrows. The very emptiness of her
-grief, since no sweet substitution of motherhood could
-be granted her, made it the more intolerable.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Instinctively she went from the Everett’s straight
-across the city to the unfashionable new quarter and to
-the Nicholses’ home. She found Mally’s baby properly
-cared for, but coldly, by hired and unloving hands, and
-took it into her own arms with yearning motherliness and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_202'>202</span>cried over it, easing her heart and murmuring the tender
-nonsense, the artless art which mothers always know,
-but seldom women who have not known motherhood.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mr. Nichols came in and she told him,—leaving the
-baby that she might surely control herself,—that on
-account of Madam Burgess’s feeble health it had been
-found impossible for her to carry out Mally’s wish and
-her own. The disappointment of the poor fellow, with
-his almost impossible burden and scanty income, was
-evident; but he rallied well, and showed a simple dignity
-in the matter which made Anna like him even better
-than she had before.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I shall watch over the baby, you may depend, and
-come as often as I can,” she said in leaving.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He thanked her, and she made him promise to send
-for her without delay or hesitation if there were illness
-among the children or other emergency, and so came
-away.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The frail little life, unwarmed and unwelcomed by
-the love which had been bestowed on the other children,
-seemed to feel itself in an alien air, and failed from
-week to week. Anna spent every moment she could
-with the child, and sought to cherish and shield the tiny,
-flickering flame of life, but in vain. The baby lingered
-for a month, and then, on a bleak March evening, Anna
-was sent for, to speed its spirit back into the unknown
-from which it had scarcely emerged. She sat all night
-with the child upon her knees, the young father asleep
-in the leaden sleep of unutterable weariness on a sofa in
-the room adjoining. It is not given to a man to know
-the absolute annihilation of the body by love which
-makes the endurance of long night watches and the
-supreme skill in nursing the prerogative of women.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_203'>203</span>The nurse came and went at decent intervals with
-offers of help and of food, but Anna quietly declined
-both. She knew that she was about to partake of the
-sacrament of death, and she wished to receive it fasting,
-and, if it might be, alone. She knew that she only on
-earth loved the little child and longed to keep it, and
-she meant that it should die in loving arms, if they had
-been denied it for living.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In the slow hours which were yet too swift, as she
-bent over the small pinched face, brooding tenderly over
-the strange perfection of this miniature of humanity, the
-delicately pencilled eyebrows, the fine moulding of the
-forehead, the exquisite ear with soft fair hair curling
-about it, the little, flower-like hands, Anna wondered,
-as she never had thought to wonder before, at the
-wastefulness of nature. All this exquisite organism
-made perfect by months of silent upbuilding, a life of
-full strength paid for its faint breath, and then, this too
-cut off before the dawn of consciousness!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Harder to bear was the thought, which would not
-leave her, that if she could have taken the child for her
-own its life could have been saved. A photograph of
-Mally on the bedroom wall in her wedding-gown
-looked down upon her through the yellow gloom of the
-night lamp, and the eyes seemed to Anna full of sad
-upbraiding.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In bitterness of soul she groaned aloud:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, Mally, Mally, I wanted to keep your baby, but
-they would not let me! He is going back to you, dear.
-Oh, if I knew that you were glad, that you forgive me!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the sound of her voice the child on her knees,
-which had been asleep or in a stupor, opened its eyes,
-and lifted them to hers. They were large blue eyes like
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_204'>204</span>Mally’s, and for a moment their look was fixed upon her
-own,—a clear, direct look, and, with a thrill of awe, Anna
-felt a <em>conscious</em> look. The instant of that mutual glance
-with all of mystery, of joy, and of wonder which it held,
-passed; the waxen whiteness of the lids fell again, but,
-as it passed, a sense of great peace fell upon Anna’s spirit.
-The last look of that newborn soul, pure and undefiled,
-had searched her heart, had found her love, had shed the
-glory of its passing into her bruised and cabined spirit.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Now go, little child, go to God and be at rest; we
-have known each other, and you are mine after all,” she
-whispered fondly, her tears falling like spring rains upon
-white blossoms.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The dawn-light came into the room, dimming the
-lamp-light with which it could not blend; a tremor
-passed through the tiny frame, the breath fluttered once
-or twice upon the lips, and the baby died. Anna had
-called the father, and he stood by, watching in heavy
-oppression.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Quietly, with the great submission of spirit which
-death brings, Anna washed and dressed the little body,
-putting on the garments of fairylike texture and proportion
-which she had seen Mally making with warm, dexterous
-fingers, a few weeks before. Then, having prayed,
-she left the place and walked home alone through the
-silent streets, with the consecration of the hour full upon
-her.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_205'>205</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXIII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>He who professeth to believe in one Almighty Creator, and in his Son Jesus
-Christ, and is yet more intent on the honours, profits, and friendships of the
-world than he is, in singleness of heart, to stand faithful to the Christian religion,
-is in the channel of idolatry; while the Gentile, who, notwithstanding
-some mistaken opinions, is established in the true principle of virtue, and humbly
-adores an Almighty Power, may be of the number that fear God and work
-righteousness.—<span class='sc'>John Woolman.</span></p>
-
-<p class='c010'>A physician’s carriage stood before the house when
-Anna reached it, and within there was a stir unusual for
-that early hour. Jane met her on the landing, and answered
-her questions.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, ma’am; Mrs. Burgess, she was all right as far
-as I could see when I helped her get to bed, but I hadn’t
-got her light out when I heard her give a queer kind of
-groan, and when I got to her, her face was that twisted
-all to one side, that it would make your heart ache to see
-her. But that isn’t so bad now; you’d hardly notice it.
-And she don’t seem paralyzed; she moves ’most any way.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then she is better?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well, ma’am, I don’t know as you could say so
-much better. The worst of it is, her mind ain’t right.
-She looks sort of blank, and when she talks it ain’t natural,
-but all confused like, and it’s hard, poor lady, for her
-to get anything out; she talks thick and slow, so different
-from herself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A moment later Anna saw Keith, and heard the verdict
-of the physician. Madam Burgess had suffered a
-paralytic seizure of a somewhat unusual character. He
-should watch the case with great interest. There was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_206'>206</span>evidently a small clot on the left side of the brain which
-affected the mental equilibrium, and produced something
-like delirium. The ultimate result could only be fatal,
-and it was doubtful whether full consciousness would
-return before death.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>That afternoon Anna was permitted to go to her
-mother-in-law’s bedside. Keith followed her, full of
-eager hope that for her there might be the clear and
-unquestionable recognition which had thus far been
-denied him. It was a strangely painful thing to Anna
-to see the familiar figure of a woman so graceful,
-so precise, so secure in her high-bred self-possession, so
-decided in her conscious self-direction, prostrate, dull,
-lethargic; to hear in place of the cold, clear modulations
-of her voice a meaningless, half-articulate muttering.
-She stood for a moment beside the bed, her heart sinking
-with the piteousness of the sight, herself apparently
-unnoticed by the stricken woman.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At the foot of the bed Keith, standing, cried out as if
-in uncontrollable pain:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mother, do you see Anna? She wants to speak with
-you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Slowly his mother turned her eyes, which had been
-fixed straight before her, until they rested full upon
-Anna in a curious, disconcerting stare. This continued
-in silence for some throbbing seconds, and then, with thick
-utterance and unaccented monotony of modulation, she
-said, very slowly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“If you had married differently you might have had
-children of your own.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This laboured sentence, in its violent discordance with
-the filial tenderness and sympathy which alone filled the
-hearts of Keith and Anna at the moment, smote them
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_207'>207</span>both as if with a harsh and incredible buffet. Anna
-turned away from the bed white and appalled, and left
-the room at the motion of the nurse while Keith, bowing
-his head upon the bed-rail, groaned aloud. Even in
-the moment their mother had fallen back into unintelligible
-confusion of speech. To them both this sinister and
-unlooked-for expression revealed something of the weary
-ways in which the clouded mind was straying. Some
-haunting sense of remorse and accountability, vaguely
-felt and deviously followed, was torturing the dimness
-of mental twilight. Again and again during the days
-following, Anna, sitting just outside the bedroom door,
-heard the question reiterated in the harsh, toneless
-voice:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Did that baby die?” And always, when answered,
-there came the same response, “I said it would, I said
-it would that night.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Filled with pity and compunction as she recalled the
-severity of her own utterance in that interview, the memory
-of which with the sick woman had plainly outlived all
-other, Anna went once more on the third night into
-the sick-room, knelt by the bed, and took the hand of
-the sufferer in both her own.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mother,” she said, in a strong, comforting voice,
-“mother dear, this is Anna. Will you forgive me for
-my unkindness that night?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was no reply.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Dear mother,” Anna went on, with gentlest kindness,
-“I wanted to tell you that the little baby has gone
-to its own mother. It is all right, and I am satisfied.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a faint response as of relief and acquiescence.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then, as Anna still held the limp, unresisting, unresponding
-hand and looked tenderly in the grey, changed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_208'>208</span>face, Sarah Burgess spoke once more. Broken and falteringly
-came the words:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am ... sorry ... you have ... no child,”
-and, as she spoke, large, slow tears rolled down her
-face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was the first time in all their intercourse that she
-had opened her heart to Anna in motherly pity. Perhaps
-she could not before, the defences of pride and reserve
-were sunk too deep. But the few words, the tears, the
-glimpse of a heart which, whatever its hardness, itself
-knew the passion of motherhood and could understand
-her pain, broke down for the younger woman the last
-remaining barriers which had stood between these two
-who had lived together so coldly. Anna laid her head
-on the pillow and kissed the face of the dying woman
-again and again, their tears mingling, while pity and
-tenderness overflowed the coldness and all the silent
-resentments of the past.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Two days later Madam Burgess died, not having
-spoken again, although she had plainly recognized
-Keith and watched him with wistful eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The burial and the various incidents connected with
-the close of a long life, and one of social eminence, over,
-Keith and Anna turned back to the home, now wholly
-their own, and looked about them wondering what was
-in the future. Like all men and women of gentle will,
-they blotted out, at once and forever, every impression
-of unworthiness or selfishness which their dead had ever
-made upon them. They idealized her narrow character,
-and loved her better than they ever had, perhaps, in life;
-but underneath all this dutiful loyalty Anna found in
-her own heart a recognition of great release, and at
-times, in spite of her will, her pulses would bound and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_209'>209</span>leap with the sense of new possibilities in life for them
-both.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Just what these possibilities might be was by no
-means clear to Anna, nor how far Keith would sympathize
-with her own vague but dominant desires for a
-return in some sort to the working motives which had
-swayed their earlier lives. She was greatly encouraged
-by the response which she received to her timid approach
-to the subject of some slight changes in their outward
-method of life in favour of simpler and more democratic
-habits. The horses and carriage and liveried servants
-had long been a source of distress to Anna’s conscience,
-as marks of a privileged and separate class. She had
-always avoided employing them as far as was possible.
-She had never, since she had begun reading the social
-essays of Gregory, driven in the family carriage without
-longing to apologize to every working man and woman
-whose glance rested upon her, for a luxury which she
-felt to be in their eyes divisive, while all the time her
-heart was crying out for brotherhood and burden-sharing
-with the lowliest and most oppressed among them.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Somewhat to her surprise she found that Keith was
-not without a similar consciousness, any expression of
-which, even to Anna, he had scrupulously avoided in
-his mother’s lifetime. Finding herself met here, and
-thus emboldened, Anna came to her husband one evening
-with a question which involved serious doubt and
-difficulty for her. It was two months since the death
-of Madam Burgess, and Anna was to start the following
-morning for Vermont for a visit of several weeks to her
-mother and Lucia. Keith was too busy with the details
-of settling his mother’s estate to accompany her, but it
-had been planned that he should meet her in Burlington
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_210'>210</span>on her return, late in May, and together with her make
-a visit, long-promised and long-postponed, at the Ingrahams’,
-whose friendship for them both had remained
-unchanged by the years.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>And now the postman had brought Anna a note from
-Mrs. Ingraham which took her back strangely to her
-girlhood, and to one March night when she had first
-received a like request from the same source. This
-note asked her to come, when she came for the promised
-visit, prepared to give a missionary address at a
-meeting which would take place at that time in Burlington.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna handed the note to her husband, and, as he finished
-the perusal of it, she said hesitatingly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Keith, I don’t know what to do.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why, dear? Why not simply do as Mrs. Ingraham
-asks? You would like to, would you not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Once I would have, only too gladly,” and Anna
-paused a moment, recalling the opposition to which she
-had yielded so unwillingly in the time past. That outward
-and forcible opposition was now wholly removed,
-but another restraint, subtle and subjective, had gradually
-taken its place, although Anna had until now
-scarcely recognized the existence of it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am afraid, if I tell you,” she resumed, “you will
-be shocked and pained. Perhaps I cannot even put it
-into words, and not overstate what is in my mind; but
-the trouble is, Keith, I am afraid I don’t believe everything
-just as I used to.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith Burgess looked at her with his gentle smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Go on,” he said quietly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Dear, it is very strange,” and Anna spoke with
-sudden impetuousness; “but I suppose I have not
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_211'>211</span>really a right to speak for missions, for I cannot, any
-more, believe that God will condemn to everlasting
-torment all the heathen who do not believe in a means
-of salvation of which they have never heard.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Neither can I.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Keith!” Anna felt her breath almost taken away
-by this sudden admission of what, in the seventies,
-was rank heresy in strictly orthodox circles. “Why
-have you never let me suspect such a change in your
-views? Has this had something to do with your giving
-up the secretaryship? Was it not then quite all
-your health? Oh, Keith, if you knew how I have been
-troubled!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The tumult of Anna’s surprise broke out in this swift
-volley of questions, for which she could not wait for
-answers.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How have you been troubled? Tell me that first,
-Anna.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna’s colour came and went. It was not easy to
-speak, but honesty and frankness were the law of
-speech with her. Very seriously she said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It seemed so strange to me that you grew, after the
-first few years, into what often appeared a kind of
-official and perfunctory way of working—letting the
-details cover the great purposes. It seemed little, and
-different from what I had expected. Tables and figures
-and endless reports—it was all business, and almost
-like other business.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith Burgess nodded gravely. “Go on,” he said,
-as before.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And then, you see, all at once you dropped it.
-Of course you had that illness, and I could see how
-tiresome and troubling the work had come to be; but
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_212'>212</span>I used to think—forgive me, Keith; I hated myself that
-I did—that you dropped the whole missionary endeavour
-and purpose and point of view as easily as you might
-have dropped a coat that you had worn out—”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“In short, that it was all officialism.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, even that—that it had come to be. And you
-know how different it was at first, when it was your
-only life.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, Anna,” and the delicate, sensitive face of the
-man showed something of the profound pain which he
-could not speak; “it has been a hard experience. I
-have kept it to myself because I did not think it was
-fair to lay upon you the same burden of doubt and
-conflict. I see how naturally you came to look upon
-the change in me as you have described. Perhaps
-your view is in a measure just, too, but I think not
-altogether.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Tell me, Keith.” Anna was waiting for him to go
-on with sympathetic eagerness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was simply that, some way, I hardly know how,—perhaps
-it was in part worldliness and selfishness, but I
-think not altogether,—my views gradually have changed.
-Perhaps it was in the air, perhaps I took it in unconsciously
-from what I read, and from my deeper thought
-of God and his grace. What I learned of the various
-forms of heathen religions influenced me somewhat, and
-also observation of the workings of our own system in
-our own country even under most favouring conditions.
-I cannot tell, only I came definitely at last to the point
-where I could no longer go before the churches and
-plead with them to send their money to foreign missions
-to save the heathen from immediate eternal perdition
-and torment, because they did not believe in the plan of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_213'>213</span>salvation by a Saviour of whom, as you say, they had
-never heard.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What did you do?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You see,” Keith went on, not noticing her question,
-“according to our confession there is no salvation
-even in any ordinary knowledge of Christ, but only for
-the elect few who experience personal regeneration by
-conscious acceptance according to the line laid by such
-men as Calvin and Edwards. Now we know that judged
-by this test a very large percentage of any so-called
-Christian community is doomed to eternal punishment,
-and when you come to the heathen, it grows unthinkable—do
-you see?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, I <em>feel</em>.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I went very soon to Dr. Durham, and poured out a
-full confession of my ‘unsoundness.’”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What did he say?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Anna, that was what settled me. I almost think
-that if he had said, ‘Stop where you are, and wait until
-you can see it differently,’ I might have come back to
-my early convictions in some sort, at least sufficiently
-to give me a motive for working on. What he did say,
-in his large, hearty way, was: ‘Oh, my dear fellow, there
-is nothing more common than such doubts and questions!
-They naturally arise from time to time with us all.
-Probably not half the men who are at work in this
-cause actually believe literally in the common conception
-that the heathen who do not know of Christ are
-all condemned. Oh, no, I ceased to hold any such
-opinion long ago.’ ‘Then why don’t you say so openly?’
-I asked; to which he replied impressively: ‘Don’t you
-see, Burgess, that if we told our change of views to the
-churches at large we should <em>cut the very nerve</em> of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_214'>214</span>missionary motive? We may hold these slightly modified
-views on eschatology ourselves without detriment,
-perhaps, or danger, although of course they must be held
-well in hand; but if we should speak them out to the
-rank and file, the result would be an instant falling off
-in the receipts of our treasury, and the Lord knows they
-are small enough and inadequate enough as it is. The
-average man would reason, if the heathen can be saved
-after all in some other way, it is not necessary for me to
-deny myself in order to send them the gospel. So keep
-still, my dear Burgess, just keep your views to yourself
-as some of the rest of us do. Go right along as you
-have been doing, and there will be no harm done.’”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Keith, dear Dr. Durham did not know it, but that
-is Jesuitism!” exclaimed Anna, with flashing eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I thought it was,” he replied quietly, “and the result
-was I gave up my office, partly on account of my health,
-partly because I could not continue what would actually
-have been, for me, getting money under false pretences.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Still, Keith, it is not only to save the heathen from
-everlasting punishment that we want to send the gospel,
-but to give them the present salvation from sin.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Certainly. There are other motives left. I think
-they may be sufficient to energize our work far beyond
-what the Gospel of Fear could do, but they are not at
-present the popular motives to which I am expected to
-appeal. The future of the cause is not clear to me. If
-Durham is right, and the nerve of missions will be cut
-when people cease to believe that the heathen are necessarily
-damned because they have not accepted Christ,
-why then I have little hope, because it seems to me impossible
-for thinking people to hold this view much
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_215'>215</span>longer. But I must admit that it is hard enough to get
-them to give money when they believe implicitly in the
-immediate and hopeless doom of every heathen soul
-departing to judgment.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Keith, they <em>don’t</em> believe it! Nobody <em>believes</em> it! It
-is monstrous. If we really believed such things as practically
-taking place, we should all lose our reason. Our
-only escape from insanity, I believe, is that, while with
-our mouths and with our opinions we have declared such
-things, in our hearts and in our deeper conviction we
-have denied them, knowing that they would be treason
-to God. What misleads us all, Keith, I am beginning
-to believe, is that we have felt bound to accept a system
-which theologians have worked out, and which has involved
-a paring down of both God and man to make
-them fit into the narrow grooves they have assigned
-them in the hard logic of their formulas.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well, let us make this question concrete; illustrate
-it from life,” said Keith, leaning back languidly in his
-arm-chair. “How is it with yourself? You have been
-taught, and have believed until very recently, this doctrine
-of universal condemnation of all heathen ‘out of
-Christ,’ and now, it seems, you have begun to question
-it. What is the effect on the missionary motive in your
-case? Would you feel as eager as ever to go as a missionary?
-Does the subject appeal to your conscience
-as powerfully as before?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked at Keith for a moment in thoughtful
-silence, and then shook her head.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You see Dr. Durham was right,” said Keith, sadly.
-“If this is true of you, who have all your life been
-pledged to this work,—and I admit that it is true of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_216'>216</span>myself,—what can be expected of the careless crowd,
-indifferent at best?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had been walking restlessly up and down the
-library. Now she came back to the heavy black oak table
-at which her husband was sitting, sat down, and, resting
-her elbows on the table, propped her chin in both hands,
-and so sat silently for many moments. Then she began
-to speak, but very slowly, rather as if thinking aloud:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have been accustomed, and so have you, all our
-lives, to the stimulus, the spur, of a piercingly powerful
-motive, the most powerful possible, I should think.—To
-save somebody from immediate death when the means
-of rescue is in your hands is a motive to which every
-human being must respond, instinctively. Suppose this
-motive is shown to be, in some degree at least, based
-upon a misunderstanding, and we find that we are asked
-to alleviate suffering instead of to save life, why would
-it not be perfectly natural, almost inevitable, that at first
-there should be a reaction? Accustomed to the stronger
-stimulus, just at first our motives and purposes would
-languish, I think. Mine <em>do</em>. I can’t help owning it,
-Keith. But I can imagine that deeper knowledge of
-God, higher conceptions of human brotherhood, of what
-they call the solidarity of the race—things like that—which
-I only dimly realize yet, might reënforce our poor
-wills, and knit again the nerve if it has been cut. Don’t
-you think so?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith watched his wife as she sat thus speaking, and
-a great tenderness was in his eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You are a very wonderful woman, Anna,” he said;
-“your thought always goes beyond mine.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She did not seem to hear what he said, for she went
-on in the same musing tone:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_217'>217</span>“In a way, it seems to me, sometimes, as if every
-hope, every purpose, every controlling motive with which
-I started out in life, had slipped away from me, this of
-missionary work with the rest. All that I thought I
-could do or become has been rendered impossible in one
-way or another, and whatever capacity or force there is
-in me is unapplied. I can’t even be a comfortable society
-woman; other people won’t let me, even if I can
-let myself, and you know how I find it impossible to fit
-into conventional charities. Everywhere I seem to be
-superfluous, out of harmony with my environment. I
-thought once, I was vain enough to think, that God
-wanted me for some special service,—that he would give
-me a work for him and for his children; but I am thirty
-years old now, Keith, and what have I done?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You have been a dear wife and a faithful child,—a
-true Christian woman,—is that not enough?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna smiled wistfully.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is not good for any one to simply <em>be</em>, and bring
-nothing to pass. But to-night I feel that whatever new
-wine life is to bring me will have to be put into new
-bottles. The old motives and forces have spent themselves,
-and the old hopes; and the forms which held
-them, have gone with them, for me.”</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_219'>219</span>
- <h2 class='c006'>BOOK III<br /> <span class='large'>NIGHT</span></h2>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c016'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>O Holiest Truth! how have I lied to thee!</div>
- <div class='line'>I vow’d this day thy sacrifice to be;</div>
- <div class='line in4'>But I am dim ere night.</div>
- <div class='line'>Surely I made my prayer, and I did deem</div>
- <div class='line'>That I could keep in me thy morning beam,</div>
- <div class='line in4'>Immaculate and bright.</div>
- <div class='line'>But my foot slipp’d; and, as I lay, he came,</div>
- <div class='line'>My gloomy foe, and robb’d me of heaven’s flame.</div>
- <div class='line'>Help thou my darkness, Lord, till I am light.</div>
- <div class='line in34'>—<span class='sc'>John Henry Newman.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_221'>221</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXIV</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>Christianity has hitherto only partially, feebly, and waveringly taught its
-great doctrine. Christendom has not believed its own gospel. Forsaking the
-vital religion of Jesus, and of all the heroes and saints as impracticable, men have
-put up with a sort of conventional Christianity, from which the great essential
-ideas of the Golden Rule and the real presence of God were dropped out.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r c013'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>—<span class='sc'>C. F. Dole.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>“I have spoken for three nights in this place, and for
-three nights you have heard me patiently. I have not
-regarded the favour of any man, but neither have I
-wished to bruise or wound. And yet, as I stand here
-now for the last time, I must declare the whole truth as
-it has been given to me. I have charged upon our
-present social and industrial conditions grave responsibility.
-To-night I declare plainly that you who calmly
-accept and profit by them, whether you know it or
-whether you know it not, are rejecting Jesus of Nazareth
-and his kingdom.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The speaker was John Gregory, the place a large hall
-in the city of Burlington, crowded to its utmost with
-eager listeners, for the theories which he proclaimed
-were new and startling in that day.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As in his earlier revival preaching, so now, Gregory’s
-utterance was attended with peculiar power. There was
-this difference, however, between his relation to his
-audience now and in that other time: then a familiar
-appeal was reënforced, even though involuntarily and
-unconsciously, by the full weight of his personal and
-psychic influence; now he relied wholly, it appeared,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_222'>222</span>upon the dynamic of his message. His manner was
-more impassioned than in that earlier time, but less
-exciting.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith and Anna Burgess, from their places in the
-audience with Mrs. Ingraham, whose guests they were,
-watched and listened with almost breathless intensity of
-interest. They had not heard it on this wise before.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you remember,” continued Gregory, with searching
-emphasis, “that on a certain day the Master said,
-‘Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter
-into the kingdom of heaven’? Do you remember how
-the twelve men who followed him were said to have been
-‘exceedingly amazed’? From the fourth century, when
-the Church and the world formed their unhallowed union,
-down to the present day, men have continued to be
-‘exceedingly amazed’ at a saying so inconvenient and
-so revolutionary, and have set themselves to blunt its
-sharp edge or to explain it away altogether.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“To-night I am here to say to you plainly, This is a
-faithful saying, worthy of all acceptation, and woe unto
-him who seeks to take it away from the words of Christ.
-Put with it, if you will, other like words from the lips
-of Christ and his Apostles, rather than seek to abate the
-force of these. But why are the rich condemned?
-Surely they are the most law-abiding, most influential
-class in every community! Because the riches of the
-rich man are founded upon a lie! This is the lie: <em>that
-a man has the right to build up his own prosperity and enjoyment
-upon the suffering and privation of his fellow-men</em>.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Ask yourselves, men who listen to me now, do I
-tell the truth?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You made your money in trade; very well—is trade
-just? Could you, under present conditions, have made
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_223'>223</span>money, had you dealt justly and loved mercy? had you
-lived the truth, shown the truth? Could your trade
-have prospered if you had followed the simplest rule
-of Christ, ‘Do unto others as ye would have them do
-unto you?’</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Is not the very basis of your trade and of your gains
-that you force other men into failure, dejection, and
-poverty, and rise upon the wreck of them? Well has
-it been said, ‘A rich man’s happiness is built up of a
-thousand poor men’s sorrows.’</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Many men make their money in manufacture, perhaps
-not largely so in this city; but the conditions are
-familiar to us all. Very well, is manufacture true to
-God, true to men?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The profits, we will say of a given manufacture,
-were not great enough last year; the owners had a large
-income, but not as large as they wanted; some of the
-rich stockholders grumbled. What did they do? They
-reduced the beggarly wages of the toilers in their iron
-prisons, sent them home to their wives and children
-with less than sufficed to give them daily bread and
-shelter, and they knew it. They sent pure girls to the
-life of shame, and honest men to the black refuge of
-despair. Thus they declared their dividend, and their
-rich neighbours praised their business genius and pocketed
-their share of the gains complacently; and the rich grew
-richer, and the poor, poorer. This done, they come
-before God with pious words; they pass boxes in the
-churches to gather the widows’ and the orphans’ mites
-whose burdens they do not lift, no, not with one finger;
-they build a hospital now and then; they found a university,
-and their names are exalted; they sit in their
-homes with all their treasures of art, of intellect, and of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_224'>224</span>refinement about them, and thank the Lord that they
-are not as other men are, or even as that poor fellow
-they hear reeling, profane and drunken, down the street,
-because <em>no</em> home is his, no hope, no God.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Hear the words which God hath sworn by his holy
-prophets:</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘Forasmuch, therefore, <em>as your treading is upon the
-poor</em>, and ye take from him burdens of wheat; ye have
-built houses of hewn stone, but ye shall not dwell in
-them; ye have planted pleasant vineyards, but ye shall
-not drink wine of them.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘For I know your manifold transgressions and your
-mighty sins; they afflict the just, they take a bribe, and
-they turn aside the poor in the gate from their right.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘Woe to the City of Blood!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘Woe unto them that join house to house, that lay
-field to field, till there be no place, that they may be
-placed alone in the midst of the earth!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘Woe to them that are at ease in Zion!... that
-lie upon beds of ivory and stretch themselves upon their
-couches, and eat the lambs out of the flock, and the
-calves out of the midst of the stall, that chant to the
-sound of the viol and invent to themselves instruments
-of music, ... that drink wine in bowls and anoint
-themselves with the chief ointments; but they are not
-grieved for the affliction of Joseph!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘Woe to him that buildeth a town with blood, and
-establisheth a city by iniquity!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘Neither their silver nor their gold shall be able to
-deliver them in the day of the Lord’s wrath.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘For, behold, the Lord said unto me, What seest
-thou? And I said, A plumb-line. Then said the
-Lord, Behold, I will set a plumb-line in the midst of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_225'>225</span>my people Israel: I will not again pass by them any
-more.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘For judgment will I lay to the line and righteousness
-to the plumb-line: and the hail shall sweep away
-the refuge of lies, and the waters shall overflow the
-hiding-place.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘For ye have said, We have made a covenant with
-death, and with hell are we at agreement; we have made
-lies our refuge, and under falsehood have we hid ourselves.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘But your covenant with death shall be disannulled
-and your agreement with hell shall not stand.’”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As the speaker went on marshalling and massing with
-stern conviction the tremendous indictments and declarations
-of the Hebrew prophets, which the people before
-him had never heard thus definitely applied to their own
-social conditions, the dramatic effect became irresistible.
-A mighty blast of wind seemed to bow their heads, and
-many trembled and grew pale.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Suddenly John Gregory, whose whole face and figure
-had been rigid and set with the awe of what he spoke,
-stepped out to the very edge of the platform, and, with
-a gesture of gentleness and reconcilement, and a smile
-which relaxed the tense mood of his hearers, cried:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“But this is not all! Never did the prophets leave
-the people without a ray of hope—never did they withhold</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“‘Belief in plan of God enclosed in time and space,</div>
- <div class='line'>Health, peace, salvation.’</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“‘Is it a dream?</div>
- <div class='line'>Nay, but the lack of it a dream,</div>
- <div class='line'>And failing it life’s love and wealth a dream,</div>
- <div class='line'>And all the world a dream.’”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_226'>226</span>These words were spoken with no less conviction
-than those which had gone before, but the change of
-voice, of expression, of attitude and gesture, were those
-which only a master of oratory could have so swiftly
-effected. The audience, now wholly under his control,
-felt a new thrill of comfort, of hope, even of exultation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The Spirit of God is brooding in the bosom of all
-this chaos, and a new day dawns. Fear not, but look
-within. Your own heart confesses the bond of brotherhood
-which unites you to all the race. Let your heart
-speak.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Men everywhere see the new light, and confess and
-deny not that it is the true light, the light which lighteth
-every man coming into the world, until sin and selfishness
-quench it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The day is come when men shall no longer greedily
-seek their own salvation; the straitened individualism
-of the fathers has had its day; even the passion for personal
-perfection is refined selfishness from the new point
-of view. Many Christian souls have been misled in the
-past by the mistaken idea of self-sacrifice and renunciation,
-not for their results to humanity, but for the perfecting
-of self, a fruitless, joyless, Christless thing. The
-continual seeking for the safety here and hereafter of the
-individual—the man’s own advantage, what if spiritual?—held
-up always as his chief and noblest aim,
-have resulted in Christianity becoming a symbol for sublimated
-selfishness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“A greater, nobler motive is ours to-day—no new
-gospel, but a right reading of the old, a deeper insight
-into his purpose who said, ‘If any man serve me, let him
-follow me.’</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Here may we, at last, and perhaps for the first time
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_227'>227</span>in long years of blind and baffled longing for the fellowship
-of Christ our Sacrifice, learn the awful joy of dying
-in our own lives that so we may not live alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Your soul cannot rise toward God, my brother,
-while you are treading down other souls beneath your
-feet. Cease the hopeless effort. Take the world’s burden
-on your heart, and you shall know Christ. Refuse
-the joys which can only be for the few and the rich.
-Take nothing but what you can share. Learn poverty
-and simplicity and hardihood; unlearn luxury, exclusiveness,
-epicureanism. Be pioneers in the new state, apostles
-of the new-old gospel—the Gospel of Brotherhood,
-of Fellowship, of Sacrifice.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As Anna Mallison, in her early girlhood, had responded
-with swift, unquestioning response to the simple
-appeal of the missionary, and had offered herself unreservedly
-to the work of seeking lost souls in the heathen
-world, so now, in the maturity of her womanhood, her
-inmost soul confessed that her hour had come. The
-message of John Gregory, heard vaguely and partially
-before, had now reached her fully, and she found its
-claim upon her irresistible.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Where this leads, I follow,” a voice said in her heart;
-“I follow though I die! It is for this I have waited.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Turning, she looked into her husband’s face, and their
-eyes met. Keith Burgess read what he intuitively expected
-in the deep awe of Anna’s eyes; while she read in
-his a sympathy and response, real, and yet strangely sad.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory had been about to leave the platform, his
-address ended; but the audience sat unmoving, as if they
-would hear more. A man rose up then, in the middle
-of the hall, and spoke.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Gregory,” he said, “some of the people are
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_228'>228</span>saying that, having told us so much, you ought to tell us
-more. If it is true that you have some scheme or system
-by which people like us could live such a life as you
-describe, we want to hear about it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Having so said, he sat down.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>John Gregory turned about and came slowly back to
-his former place. Here he stood, confronting the people
-with a gravely musing smile. Again, as she saw him,
-there swept over Anna’s memory the sense that this was
-the presence of her girlish dream, and the old indefinable
-sense of joy in the power of this man was shed into her
-heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You want to hear me say something about Fraternia,
-I suppose,” said Gregory, slowly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am not here for that purpose. I covet no man’s
-silver or gold for my project, let that be distinctly understood
-first of all. Fraternia has not had to beg for support,
-thus far. Men and women who are like-minded
-with ourselves are welcome to join themselves to us.
-No others need apply,” and he smiled a peculiar,
-humorous smile of singular charm.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Fraternia,” he continued, “is an experiment. It is
-only a year old. Is is what may be called a coöperative
-colony, I should think; that is, a little community of
-people who believe that no one ought to be idle and
-no one ought to overwork, and accordingly all work a
-reasonable number of hours a day. We also believe
-that an aristocratic, privileged class is not a good thing,
-not even a necessary evil, but a mere gross product of
-human selfishness. We have none, accordingly, in
-Fraternia, nor anything corresponding to it. We are
-all on a precisely equal footing. That bitterest and
-tightest of all class distinctions, the aristocracy of money,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_229'>229</span>is unknown among us. Those who have joined us have
-thus far put their property into the common treasury, and
-all fare alike. We propose to work out this social problem
-on actual and practical lines. We all work and all
-share alike in the results of our work.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You will ask what we do. Fraternia lies in a valley
-among the foothills of southwestern North Carolina. We
-raise all kinds of fruit, some grain, and some cotton. We
-have water-power, a mountain stream as beautiful as it is
-useful, and so we have built a cotton mill. We have
-made it as pretty as we could, this mill,—better than
-any man’s house, since the house is for the individual,
-and the mill for the use of all. By the same token our
-church and our library are to be finer than our houses
-when we advance so far as to build them. We have
-nothing costly or luxurious in Fraternia, but our mill is
-really very attractive. We all like to work in it. You
-know it is natural to like to work under human and
-decent conditions. I believe no man ever liked absolute
-idleness. It is overwork and work under hideous and
-unwholesome conditions against which men revolt.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“In our personal and home life, simplicity and hardihood
-are the key-notes. No servants are employed, for
-all serve. Our luxuries are the mountain laurel and pine,
-the exquisite sky and air, the voices of the forest, the
-crystal clearness of the brook. In these we all share.
-So do we in the books and the few good pictures which
-we are so happy as to own; in the best music we can
-muster and in the service of divine worship. Life is
-natural, homely, simple, joyous. Its motive: By love,
-serve one another. From no one is the privilege of service
-withheld. Thank God, we have no forlorn leisure
-class.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_230'>230</span>“Our mission, however, is not to ourselves alone, but
-to the world outside. We are holding up, by our daily
-living, a constant object-lesson. We are preaching coöperation
-and social brotherhood louder than any voice
-can ever preach it, and the small child and the simple
-girl can preach as well as the cultured woman and the
-strong man.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Who are we? We are mostly from England, many
-from the slums of London, others from its higher circles,
-some Germans and Scandinavians, and thus far not more
-than a dozen American families. Some of us had nothing
-to begin with, and some had large property; some were
-so unfortunate as to belong to the number of those who
-oppress the poor in mills and mines, while others were
-simple peasants. We have no difficulty in living happily
-together on the broad basis of a common human nature,
-a common purpose, and a common hope.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“But there is another side to this adventure, friends,”
-and Gregory spoke with deeper seriousness. “Fraternia
-is nothing unless it is builded on the immutable laws of
-God and of righteousness. Never, never can we succeed
-if sin grows little to us and self large. Our message will
-be taken from us, our arm will be paralyzed, if the day
-shall ever come when the lust of gold, the lust of power,
-the lust of pride, shall taint the free air of our high valley.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“So then, if any among you would join our ranks, see
-that you shrive your souls and come to us seeking only
-the Kingdom of God and his righteousness.”</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_231'>231</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXV</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>Sin and hedgehogs are born without spikes, but how they wound and prick
-after their birth we all know. The most unhappy being is he who feels remorse
-before the deed, and brings forth a sin already furnished with teeth in its birth,
-the bite of which is soon prolonged into an incurable wound of conscience.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r c013'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>—<span class='sc'>Richter.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>On the steps of the rostrum, as he descended them,
-John Gregory was met by a man of singular aspect, a
-man who has been encountered by us before, in the
-house of Senator Ingraham,—his son, Oliver.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As the two clergymen whom he had then addressed
-had been disturbed, and even dismayed, by this strange
-face and figure, the smooth, egglike face with its enormous
-forehead, narrow eyes, and wide, thin-lipped
-mouth, so now Gregory drew back instinctively, finding
-the singular apparition thus suddenly before him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mr. Oliver Ingraham did not appear to notice the
-movement, but, smiling his peculiarly complacent smile,
-held out one long, sinuous hand, and as Gregory took
-it, not over eagerly, he remarked in his high, feminine
-voice:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I liked your line very much, Mr. Gregory. Nothing
-would suit me better than to see these rich men
-brought to book. They’ll get their come-uppance in the
-next world, anyway; but I sometimes get tired of waiting.
-It would be a satisfaction to see Dives, Esquire,
-taking his torments here once in a while, don’t you
-think so?” and the malevolent leer with which the question
-was accompanied gave Gregory a chill of disgust.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_232'>232</span>Oliver held in his left hand a handsomely bound
-note-book and silver pencil-case which it was his custom
-to carry everywhere. Gregory, now about to pass on,
-and greet the crowds who were waiting to speak with
-him just below, was again stopped.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Just a moment, Mr. Gregory,” said the other, slipping
-off the elastic, and opening the note-book with the
-dexterity of constant habit; “I want you to help me a
-little in gathering some very valuable statistics. It’s
-rather in your line, I take it. I have been engaged in
-this work for several years, and find it extremely interesting.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory noted the long, white, flexible fingers of the
-man, and the look, half of deficient intellect and half of
-cunning, in his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Please make haste, Mr. Ingraham,” he said shortly,
-“there are others waiting.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am making a computation,” Oliver continued
-imperturbably, “in fact, a carefully tabulated record, according
-to nations, of the probable number of souls from
-each nation now in Sheol—it is considered polite now
-to call it Sheol, I believe. We used to say hell when
-we were boys, didn’t we, Mr. Gregory?” and Oliver
-laughed his low, cruel laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Excuse me,” exclaimed Gregory, impatiently; “I
-could not give you any information on that subject. I
-have never been there. Allow me to pass on, if you
-please.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Oliver closed his book as if not unaccustomed to
-rebuffs; but, as Gregory’s forward movement obliged him
-to retreat down the steps, he remarked slyly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I had a message to you from the senator, if you only
-weren’t in such a hurry. He is one of the fellows that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_233'>233</span>will have to go to now, weep and howl. He has the
-shekels, I can tell you! What he wants of you is more
-than I can figure out. I should suppose Ahab would
-as soon have sent for Elijah.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Did your father send for me?” asked Gregory,
-surprised. They were now at the foot of the steps, and
-the crowd was gathering about them.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes; he would like to see you in his office on this
-same block, next building, as soon as you can get away
-from here. You work him right, and you can get something
-out of him for your Utopia.” The last words were
-called back aloud with a series of confidential nods, as
-Oliver turned and plunged into the crowd, who seemed
-to make a way for him with especial facility. Gregory
-saw him go with a keen sense of heat and discomfort.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Half an hour later, Gregory found himself in the
-office of Senator Ingraham, seated in a substantial office-chair
-by the well-appointed desk, while Mr. Ingraham,
-himself in evident and most unusual mental disturbance,
-walked up and down the room. Suddenly he wheeled,
-and confronted Gregory, as if with sudden, though difficult,
-resolution.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Gregory,” he said, low, and with the stern,
-terse brevity of a man who finds himself forced to
-speak what he would rather leave unsaid, “for over
-thirty years I have carried certain facts in my personal
-history shut up in my own memory. Not one other
-being, to the best of my belief, has shared my knowledge.
-To-night, I cannot tell how, I do not know why, I feel
-that I must break silence, and before you—stranger as
-you are—unload my burden. A strange compulsion
-seems upon me to disclose the things I have hitherto
-lived to conceal. What there is in you or in what I
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_234'>234</span>have heard you say, to bring me to this point, I cannot
-understand; but I feel in you something which makes
-you alone, of all men I have ever met, the one to whom
-I can speaks—and must. Are you willing to hear
-me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>John Gregory noted the set, hard lines in the lawyer’s
-face, the knotted cords in his hands, and the tone,
-half of defiance, half of self-abasement, with which he
-threw out this abrupt question. Accustomed to encounters
-with men in their innermost spiritual struggles,
-Gregory was in no way astonished or excited by this
-surprising beginning of their interview, and simply nodded
-gravely in token that Ingraham should proceed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I will not affront you by demanding secrecy on
-your part,” the latter began haughtily; “if it were
-possible for you to betray my confidence, it would have
-been impossible for me to give it to you. I understand
-men.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He paused. Gregory made no remark in confirmation
-of this assertion, but the direct, unflinching look with
-which he met the appeal in the eyes of the speaker was
-full guarantee of good faith. There was promise of
-profound and sympathetic attention in Gregory’s look,
-there was also judicial calmness and reserve; in fine, the
-characteristics of the priest and the judge were singularly
-united in him, and it was to the perception of this fact
-that he owed the present interview.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I do not know whether I am a respectable citizen
-or a murderer,” Ingraham now began, turning again to
-walk the floor, while an uncontrollable groan as of
-physical anguish accompanied this unexpected declaration.
-“Imagine, if you will, what thirty years have been
-inwardly with this uncertainty as food for thought, served
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_235'>235</span>to me by conscience, or some fiend, morning and night.
-If I could have forgotten for one blessed day, it has
-been ingeniously rendered impossible, for sin in bodily
-form is ever before me. You have seen my son.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With this sentence, harsh and curt, Ingraham paused,
-glanced aside at Gregory, who assented, and then continued
-to walk and speak. His voice and manner alike
-showed that he was holding himself in control by the
-effort of all his will. Strange distorting lines appeared
-in his face, and there was heavy sweat on his forehead.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I was twenty-five years old when I was married,
-and was alone in the world save for one brother,—Jim, we
-always called him,—two years younger than I. We had
-inherited a good name, strong physique, and some little
-property from our parents, and started in life shoulder to
-shoulder. In Burlington, where we first began business
-life together, we became intimately acquainted with a
-family in which there were two daughters. The elder,
-Cornelia, was very pretty and singularly attractive. Men
-always fell in love with her. I did, desperately. The
-younger sister was a commonplace, uninteresting girl,
-rather sentimental perhaps, not otherwise remarkable.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I shall make this story as short as possible. I offered
-myself to Cornelia after long wooing, and was refused.
-I was bitterly wounded, angry, defiant. While I was in
-that state of mind, it became apparent to me that I was
-secretly an object of peculiar interest to the younger sister.
-Like many another fool, half in spite and half in heart-sickness,
-I sought her hand, and was at once accepted,
-and our marriage followed quickly. Within the year
-Cornelia and Jim became engaged. There was a hard,
-silent grudge against Jim in my heart from the day I first
-suspected that it was he who had stood between Cornelia
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_236'>236</span>and me, and their engagement increased the grudge to
-hate.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“We had, before this, put the whole of our inheritance
-into mining fields in what was then the far West, buying
-up a large tract of land, divided equally between us. The
-year after my marriage we moved West for a time, and I
-started out on a prospecting tour of our land; Jim to follow
-me when he had finished establishing a kind of business
-office in pioneer quarters, in a small town as near the base
-of our operations as was feasible. My wife remained in
-this town.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“On horseback, with two engineers and a copper
-expert and an Indian guide, I rode through our possessions.
-Miners were already at work, and had pursued
-the lead far enough to prove pretty distinctly that,
-while Jim’s part of the tract was likely to be fairly productive,
-the vein stopped short of mine, which was thus
-practically worthless.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I rode back to our camp in a black mood. Jim, it
-seemed, was to succeed in everything; all that he sought
-was his, and for me there was nothing but failure and
-defeat. All the way back I brooded bitterly on the
-contrast between us, until I was in a still frenzy of
-jealousy when I reached the camp. The contrast
-between Cornelia, for whom I still had a wild, hopeless
-passion, and my wife, sickly, dull, indeed disagreeable
-to me already, was maddening, and had been
-sufficiently so before. But now, when I thought of
-Jim, with Cornelia for his wife and the certain prospect
-of large wealth to add to his elation, while I was without
-a penny or a prospect of any sort, the rage and fury in
-my mind became almost intoxicating.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“We had encountered hostile Indians on the trail as
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_237'>237</span>we returned, but our bold, dare-devil dash through this
-danger made slight impression on me. I think death
-would have been welcome to me that night. God
-knows I wish I had met it then. My heart was evil
-enough, but at least it had not the guilt that came later.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I suppose, Mr. Gregory, that I am answerable for
-my brother’s death—not in the eye of the law, but
-before God. And yet—if you could tell me that I
-am mistaken, that I exaggerate, that other men would
-have done the same and held themselves guiltless—if
-that could be—” Ingraham broke off and fixed his eyes
-on Gregory’s face once more, as if in appeal for his life.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Please go on,” was Gregory’s response, but the
-words were gently spoken, as the words of a physician
-when he is diagnosing a manifestly mortal disease.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very well,” said Ingraham, harshly. “Jim was at
-the camp, and was boy enough to parade a letter from
-Cornelia before me. We quarrelled fiercely, about what
-I cannot remember, but I could not restrain the storm
-of rage and jealousy in me. It had to break loose somewhere.
-I refused to tell Jim what I had discovered
-regarding the lead, and he declared he would go and find
-out for himself. I said he would be a fool if he did,
-but gave him no hint of the fact that there were hostile
-Indians on the way. He knew nothing of the conditions,
-nor the character of the people about us, having
-never been in the country before. It was early in the
-morning. We had ridden all night, and the men had
-gone to their tents and were sleeping off the effects of
-our struggle. I told Jim he could not get a guide. He
-merely whistled in a light-hearted, careless way he had,
-and started off to a neighbouring camp, in search, as I
-inferred, of some escort. I saw him no more, and made
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_238'>238</span>no attempt to govern his actions, and did not even know
-whether he had started. Who and what the guide was
-whom he obtained, I learned later.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I slept most of that day, after Jim disappeared, exhausted
-in body and mind, and continued to sleep far
-into the night, keeping my tent door securely closed, as
-I wished to see and speak to no one. It was, perhaps,
-three o’clock of the morning following when I was
-roused by a strange noise at my tent door. Starting up
-from my bed on the ground, I saw that some one had
-cut open the fastenings, and that the flap was drawn
-back. In the opening thus formed stood the shape
-of an Indian rider on horseback, perfectly motionless.
-The moonlight, which was unusually brilliant, fell full
-upon the face of this man, and I recognized him at
-once, with a horrible chill of foreboding, as a half-witted
-Indian who sometimes acted as guide, but only to those
-who knew no better than to accept his services, which
-were worthless and treacherous. He was a half-breed,
-an odious, repulsive being, with only wit enough to be
-malicious, and of abnormal treachery and cruelty even
-for his kind. Never can I forget that face of his in the
-moonlight. He spoke not one word, but simply sat
-his horse and looked at me with his narrow, gleaming
-eyes, a malignant grin making his ugliness fairly fiendish.
-If you want to get a faint idea of his look, recall
-the face of Oliver—my son;” Ingraham’s voice sunk
-to a whisper, and he added, “I can never escape it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory’s brows knit heavily, and his face reflected
-something of the tortured misery of the man before
-him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was not,” said Ingraham, “until I had staggered
-to my feet that I saw that across his saddle-bow this
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_239'>239</span>creature carried a dead body—Jim. There was an
-Indian arrow in his side.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No matter, no matter for the rest; I understand,”
-said Gregory, hastily.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was silence for a moment, and then Ingraham,
-with a strong effort, rallied himself to conclude his story.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I was Jim’s heir.” These words were spoken with
-hard and scornful emphasis. “That was a feature of
-the case which presents complications to a man in forming
-a judgment. Perhaps you will believe me when I
-say that this issue had not entered my mind in letting
-the boy go to his death. Indeed, the whole series of
-events was without deliberation, but under the influence
-of blind, sullen anger.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I believe you,” said Gregory.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“All the same, I profited by his death. The mines
-proved immensely valuable, and are even to-day. They
-have made me rich—and incomparably wretched. A
-word or two more, and you will know the whole story.
-Jim was brought home, here, for burial, my wife and I
-returning with his body. All through that journey, and
-continually, for many months, I saw before me, waking
-or sleeping, that face of cruelty incarnate, the half-witted
-Indian guide, as I had seen him on that awful night.
-That face was my Nemesis. It is still.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Within the year my wife gave birth to a son,
-Oliver,—a strange perversion, made up of moral obliquity,
-mental distortion, and physical deformity, like an
-embodiment of sin. On his face was stamped by some
-strange trick of nature the image which had haunted
-me—as if the Fates, or the Fiends, or God himself, had
-feared I might forget, and know a day of respite.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“My wife died when Oliver was a few months old,—died
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_240'>240</span>of cold, I believe, the chill of our loveless marriage.
-Two years later Cornelia and I were married. I
-believe she has been happy. I have been prospered,
-and have risen to a position of some influence, and we
-have all that could be desired in our home, in our three
-daughters. But when, to-night, I heard you pronounce
-the judgments of God on men who had built up prosperity
-upon a lie, I was like a man struck in his very
-heart. I felt that I could no longer endure my hidden
-load, and must confess to one human being my past, and
-make restitution, if by any means it is yet possible.
-The Romish Church is merciful, when it provides the
-possibility of confession to sinful men.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What have you to say to me? Have you healing
-for such a sore as mine?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With these abrupt words Ingraham threw himself
-into a leather-covered arm-chair with the action of complete
-exhaustion. His aspect was changed from that of
-the alert, confident man of the world and of affairs, to
-that of a broken down and shattered age.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_241'>241</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXVI</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>Sin is not a monster to be mused on, but an impotence to be got rid of.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r c013'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>—<span class='sc'>Matthew Arnold.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c014'>Use sin as it will use you; spare it not, for it will not spare you; it is your
-murderer and the murderer of the world: use it, therefore, as a murderer should
-be used. Kill it before it kills you; and though it kill your bodies, it shall not
-be able to kill your souls: and though it bring you to the grave, as it did your
-Head, it shall not be able to keep you there.—<span class='sc'>Baxter.</span></p>
-
-<p class='c010'>John Gregory met the demand thus made upon him
-with all the moral and spiritual resources of which he
-was master, for all were needed. The full strength of
-the man’s personality was brought into action, the lofty
-severity, the unflinching hate of sin, and yet the clear
-vision which could see beyond the torture and taint of it,
-and sound the depth of a nature which thus agonized for
-redemption and for righteousness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The only sin,” he said, in the words of another,
-“which is unforgiven is the sin which is unrepented of.
-That early yielding to a paroxysm of jealousy and rage
-had a fearful, and yet it may even be a merciful, result.
-There are those who have given way to worse, and, no
-result following, have lived on in hardness of heart and
-contempt of God’s law. Christ’s inflexible law, far
-more rigorous than the old law of Moses, says he that
-hateth his brother is a murderer. Murder, then, is the
-commonest of social sins, rather than the rarest. Christ
-also says that it was for sinners that he came to die, not
-for the righteous. His love overflows all our sin, and
-finds no halt at the degrees of guilt which men emphasize
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_242'>242</span>in their shallow judgment. Men judge by consequences,
-by outward events; God looks upon the heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Looking upon the heart, as far as we may, with
-God, I say then, you have been guilty of murder, but so
-have other men. Many a man has cherished a spirit of
-bitter revenge and hatred against one who had injured
-him, who has not suffered what you have, not having
-caused or profited by the death of that person, directly
-or indirectly; but before God you are perhaps equally
-guilty.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I do not count your sin slight. I would not seek to
-make it small in your own eyes, but I believe that you
-are released from the guilt and burden borne so long, and
-should no longer stagger under it. Has not Almighty
-God given to his servants power and commandment to
-declare to those who are penitent the absolution and
-remission of their sins?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What did our Lord say to the leper who sought his
-cleansing? ‘I will, be thou clean.’ Even this he says
-to you. Throw off that old yoke of bondage. It is
-your right. Go free in the liberty of the sons of God,
-but go to sin no more.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>These words, spoken with the authority of a priest,
-and with the solemnity of absolute conviction, brought
-something of light and release to the troubled heart of
-Ingraham.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The hour was late, indeed, morning was at hand,
-when, lifting his face upon which a certain calmness had
-settled, he said to Gregory, earnestly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I believe I grasp the truth of what you say, and
-that there is for me a certain peace, a partial release,
-although forgetfulness never. But this is not enough;
-the cry of my whole soul is to make restitution in some
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_243'>243</span>sort, somewhere, although how and to whom I cannot
-see. I still have the stain that I profit by my sin.
-What can you tell me? Do you see a way for me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>John Gregory looked at Ingraham steadily for a
-moment before speaking, and then said very slowly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you remember what the Master said to a certain
-ruler, ‘Sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the
-poor, and come, follow me’? If you are in earnest, Mr.
-Ingraham, and if you feel that, as your experience of sin
-has been in no light and common form, but in a depth
-of agony which few men ever know, so your repentance
-should be along no mild and easy lines, but should reach
-to the foundations of your life—if, I say, you see things
-thus, and can bear so strong a prescription, I should repeat
-to you <em>literally</em> what Christ said to the rich ruler.
-It is a hard saying; not every man can receive it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The two men faced each other in silence for a moment,
-and Gregory saw the leap of a sudden question in
-the other’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No,” he said sternly, as if in answer to a spoken
-inquiry, “I am not advising you with an eye on my
-own advantage. My thought was not of my own cause,
-but of the cause of humanity anywhere. Pardon me if
-I speak plainly; I could not use a farthing of your
-money, were it all at my disposal, for building up the
-work I am seeking to establish in Fraternia. Recall
-what you heard me say to-night of the true Kingdom
-of God. I could not use your money, Mr. Ingraham,
-in seeking to show forth that kingdom; but I could use
-you, should you wish to come with us, if you came
-empty-handed.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The lawyer felt the pitiless severity of Gregory’s
-moral standard and all that this dictum implied, but he
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_244'>244</span>did not resist it. His humiliation and submission were
-sincere, and, for the time at least, controlling; but doubt
-and conflict were plainly read in his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Is it a hard saying?” John Gregory asked, with a
-slight smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, harder than you know. I could do what you
-say, were I alone to be considered; but to reduce my
-family to beggary, to cut short my career and stain my
-reputation by the cloud which would inevitably rest
-upon it in the community by such an unheard-of course
-of action, to take my wife and daughters from their
-social world to follow me, sent like a scapegoat into
-some wilderness—really, Mr. Gregory, what you name
-is beyond reason!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory made absolutely no response. After a long
-silence, Ingraham said thoughtfully:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“This is about the way I see for myself: from this
-time on I shall seek to live a humbler and a sincerely
-Christian life, and shall strive in every way open to me
-to aid and further the cause of righteousness, with my
-money and with my influence. In this way I shall
-bring happiness and satisfaction to my wife, to whom
-I owe the highest obligation, next to God, instead of
-destroying her comfort by dragging her with me into
-some late missionary endeavour or eccentric experiment.
-Pardon me, Mr. Gregory, if I too speak plainly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“But this is not all. Although I feel no individual
-call in the direction of your coöperative colony, and am
-not over sanguine of its success, I do believe profoundly
-in you, personally, as I must have shown you. Now I
-want you to reconsider what you said a little while ago.
-Frankly, this discriminating between money made in
-one way or another savours to me of superstition. This
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_245'>245</span>money, which is mine, cannot be destroyed; even you
-would hardly advise that. Why not put it to a good use,
-the best possible from your point of view? I have never
-given away money largely, but I am able to, and I want
-to seal our interview to-night with a substantial gift.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As he spoke, Ingraham turned to his desk and
-touched a check-book which lay upon it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Gregory, I want to write my check for fifty
-thousand dollars to be placed unconditionally in your
-hands. You want a little church down there in your
-settlement, and you want it beautiful, worthy of its
-purpose; you want a library—both are necessary to
-carry on the kind of work you project. Here they are,”
-and again he touched the little leather book with his
-forefinger; “let me do that much as a memorial of this
-night and what you have done for me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>John Gregory met the look of sincere and even
-anxious appeal with which these words were spoken
-with unyielding, although not unkindly, firmness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“This is a generous impulse on your part, Mr. Ingraham.
-Do not for a moment think I fail to appreciate
-it. You are right; the money must be used, and will
-be, I hope, promptly and wisely. You must pardon me
-a certain over nicety perhaps in preferring not to build
-my church in Fraternia, or even my library, with it.
-You will find plenty of men less fastidious, and no one
-but myself will, I suppose, have reason to entertain such
-scruples.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory had risen, and was ready now to go. It was
-four o’clock, he found, by his watch, and it had been a
-long vigil; but, while Ingraham’s face was haggard and
-even ghastly, that of Gregory was unchanged in its massive
-firmness and its strong, fine lines.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_246'>246</span>Ingraham stood at his desk plainly chagrined and ill at ease.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“In your eyes, I see,” he said ruefully, “I am still
-in the place of the man who went away sorrowful because
-he had great possessions.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Perhaps,” said Gregory; “it is too soon to tell.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Every man must judge for himself, Mr. Gregory,
-when it comes to the supreme acts of his life.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” said the other, sadly; “to the supreme acts
-or to the supreme compromises. Will you excuse me
-now? I believe that I must go.” Gregory held out
-his hand, which Ingraham grasped with eagerness.
-“You have honoured me by your confidence and your
-generosity. Count me your friend if you will. Good
-night.”</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_247'>247</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXVII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>I tire of shams, I rush to be.—<span class='sc'>Emerson.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>Gertrude Ingraham was still unmarried, still
-pretty, still charming in her dainty, high-bred way.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Perhaps the thought crossed Keith Burgess’s mind
-as he joined her in her father’s library that evening,
-after their return from Gregory’s lecture, that she
-would have been, as a wife, a shade less <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">exigeante</span></i> than
-Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna, shrinking from the small coin of discussion of
-so great themes, had gone directly to their room,—the
-room which had been Keith’s on his first visit to Burlington.
-Keith remained in the library to accept the
-refreshment which Gertrude had prepared for their return,
-and found the situation altogether pleasing. It
-was a rest to a sensitive, nervous man like himself to
-sit down with a pretty woman who had no startling
-theories of life and conduct; one who had always
-moved, and who would always choose to move, on the
-comfortable lines of convention, instead of seeking some
-other path for herself, rough and lonely.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Perhaps Keith lingered all the more willingly to-night
-because he perceived a rough and lonely path opening
-visibly before him, into which he must in all probability
-turn full soon.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What did you think of Mr. Gregory?” asked
-Gertrude Ingraham over her tea-cups.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“He is a tremendous speaker,” said Keith, soberly;
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_248'>248</span>“I never heard a man who could mould an audience to
-his will as he does. You were not there to-night.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No, but I heard him before you and Mrs. Burgess
-came, night before last. I think he has the finest physique
-of any orator I ever heard. Don’t you think that is
-one source of his power? There is something absolutely
-majestic about him when he is speaking. He seems to
-overpower you—you <em>must</em> agree with him, whether you
-do or not.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then do you accept this new doctrine of his, Miss
-Ingraham?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You mean that there should be no social distinctions,
-no aristocratic and privileged class, no wealth and no
-poverty, and all that? I do not know what he said
-to-night, you see, but that is the line on which he has
-been speaking.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, that is what it all comes to.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why, no, of course I don’t believe in it, when I get
-away from Mr. Gregory,” said Gertrude, laughing prettily;
-“because I really think he is going against the fundamental
-laws of God. There have always been rich
-people and poor people, and it was intended that there
-always should be, I think.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It does seem absolutely impracticable to carry out
-any such theory in actual life. Certainly it would be
-under existing conditions. It can only be done by
-radical, by revolutionary methods. Have you heard
-what Mr. Gregory is actually doing to illustrate his
-theory? Have you heard of Fraternia?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gertrude Ingraham lifted her chin with a roguish little
-movement and nodded with a charming smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, I have heard of Fraternia too! Isn’t it droll?
-That is why I didn’t go to-night, you see. I was afraid
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_249'>249</span>Mr. Gregory would get hold of me with that irresistible
-power of his, and then I should have to go and work in
-a cotton mill!” and with this Gertrude lifted her eyebrows
-with an expression of plaintive self-pity which
-Keith found very taking. “I’m afraid I shouldn’t like
-it,” she added archly; “it would be so new, and one’s
-hands would get so horrid!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They laughed together, Keith naturally noting the
-delicacy of the small white hands which were manipulating
-the transparent china on the low table between
-them. Then Mrs. Ingraham and others coming into
-the room after them, Keith rose with graceful courtesy
-to serve them and to draw them into the conversation.
-But all the while Keith had a sense that he was
-turning against himself the sharpest weapons which
-could have been found, nothing being so instinctively
-dreaded by him as to put himself in an absurd situation,
-to awaken ridicule, even his own.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Just below the surface of his thought there lay two
-formidable facts, like sunk, threatening rocks seen darkly
-under smooth water. He knew that Anna would propose
-to him that they should throw themselves into Gregory’s
-enterprise, and become disciples of the new school;
-and he knew that having cut off hitherto, involuntarily or
-otherwise, each deepest desire of her soul for the service
-of others, he should not dare to thwart her in this. If
-she wished to do this thing, he must join her in it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith had himself been deeply moved by Gregory.
-The old passion for sacrifice and self-devotion had stirred
-again within him. He felt the high courage, the generosity,
-the strong initiative of Gregory; he was thrilled
-at the sight of a man who could throw himself unreservedly
-into a difficult and dangerous crusade, simply
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_250'>250</span>for an ideal, with all to lose and nothing to gain. He
-too had once marched to that same music; his blood was
-stirred, and he felt something of the enthusiasm of his
-student years, rising warm within him. He perfectly
-understood the motions of Anna’s spirit, and shared in
-them, up to a certain point. This point was reached
-when he touched the limit set by his inborn and inherited
-conservatism, his constitutional preference for things as
-they were, and his quick dread of making himself absurd.
-And now, Gertrude Ingraham with her pretty mocking had
-suddenly put the whole thing before him in the light he
-dreaded most.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna was not thus divided in her mind, and could not
-have been. Something of the steadfast simplicity of her
-ancient German ancestry preserved her from this characteristically
-American form of sensitiveness. She could
-have adopted without hesitation, any outward forms,
-however out of conformity to usage, however grotesque
-in the eyes of others, if she had felt the inward call.
-Gregory’s stern and lofty utterances had come to her
-with full prophetic weight, and had left nothing in her
-to rise up in doubt or gainsaying.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In this mood Keith found her. She was standing,
-still fully dressed, before the chimney-piece, where he
-had sat one night and dreamed at once of her and Gertrude
-Ingraham. Her hands were clasped and hanging
-before her; her face was slightly pale, and her eyes
-strangely large and luminous. Standing before her,
-Keith took her clasped hands between his, and looked
-at her with a questioning smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well, dear,” he said, “what is it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You know,” she answered softly. “Was it not to
-you what it was to me? Is it not the very chance we
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_251'>251</span>wish, to redeem our poor lost hopes of service?—to
-leave all the luxuries and privileges and advantages,
-and share the world’s sorrows? to become poor and
-humble as our Master was? to give what we have
-received? Oh, Keith, is it to be, or must another hope
-go by?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As Anna thus cried out, the solemn appeal of her
-nature, austere, and yet full-charged with noble passion,
-breaking at last through the barriers which had long
-held it back, gave her an extraordinary spiritual grandeur.
-There was something of awe in the look with which
-her husband regarded her. Weapons of fear and doubt
-and cavil fell before that celestial sternness in her eyes,—a
-look we see sometimes in the innocent eyes of
-young children.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is to be, Anna. You shall have your way this
-time, my wife.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The words were spoken reverently, with grave gentleness,
-and Keith’s own sweet courtesy. Was it Anna’s
-fault that she failed, in the exaltation of her mood, to
-catch the sadness in them?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith was hardly conscious of it himself. He was
-thinking, on an unspoken parallel, that he would rather
-be privileged to adore Anna Mallison in a moment like
-this, even though she led him in a rough and lonely
-path, than to dally with another woman in smoothness
-and ease.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_252'>252</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXVIII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>I took the power in my hand</div>
- <div class='line'>And went against the world;</div>
- <div class='line'>’Twas not so much as David had,</div>
- <div class='line'>But I was twice as bold.</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>I aimed my pebble, but myself</div>
- <div class='line'>Was all the one that fell.</div>
- <div class='line'>Was it Goliath was too large,</div>
- <div class='line'>Or only I too small?</div>
- <div class='line in30'>—<span class='sc'>Emily Dickinson.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c014'>We all have need of that prayer of the Breton mariner, “Save us, O God!
-Thine ocean is so large and our little boats are so small.”—<span class='sc'>Farrar.</span></p>
-
-<p class='c010'>“Trunks checked for Utopia! Direct passenger
-route without change of cars! Ye gods, it doth amaze
-me!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thus Professor Ward, with a sardonic and yet discomfited
-smile, standing in the studio of his friend
-Pierce Everett, in Fulham. The room was in the disorder
-of a radical breaking up; packing boxes standing
-about and litter strewn everywhere.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everett in his shirt sleeves was piling on a table a
-mass of draperies which he had taken from the wall.
-He was covered with dust, but his face was full of
-joyous excitement.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, my good friend—straight for Utopia now!</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“‘Get on board, chil’en,</div>
- <div class='line'>Get on board, chil’en,</div>
- <div class='line'>For there’s room for many a more.’”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_253'>253</span>Everett trolled out the old negro chorus with hilarious
-enjoyment.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“<i><span lang="la" xml:lang="la">Quos Deus vult perdere</span></i>—” began Ward, grimly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, we’re all mad, you know. We are simply not
-so mad as the rest of you,” interrupted Everett, gayly.
-“We have intervals of sanity, and are taking advantage
-of one of them to get out of the mad-house, leaving
-you other fellows to keep up your unprofitable strife
-with phantoms by yourselves, while we actually—yes,
-we even dare to believe it—<em>live</em>. Think of that,
-Ward, if you have the imagination!” Ward shook his
-head. “No, you haven’t; that is so. If you had, you
-could not have listened to Gregory unmoved.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Confound Gregory,” muttered Ward. “What did
-you ever get the man here for, turning our world upside
-down!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That has been the occupation of seers and prophets
-from the beginning, I believe,” retorted Everett, carelessly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Seers and prophets!” cried Ward, angrily, “that is
-what I can stand least of all. This posing as a kind
-of nineteenth century John the Baptist strikes me as
-exquisitely ridiculous.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everett’s eyes flashed dangerously, but he made no
-rejoinder.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I saw your John the Baptist this morning in the
-Central Station buying his railway ticket and morning
-paper like any other average man. The locusts and
-wild honey were not in evidence.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No, he doesn’t take nourishment habitually in railway
-stations,” put in Everett, coolly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I didn’t see any leathern girdle about his loins,
-either, although of course he may wear it next the skin
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_254'>254</span>for penitential purposes. His clothing appeared to be a
-species of camel’s hair—”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Falsely so called,” put in Everett; “it is really
-English tweed. Very good quality.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, I’ll venture to say that is true. Your prophet
-of the wilderness strikes me as knowing a good thing
-when he sees it. Plague take the fellow! He has
-just that sort of brute force and sheer overbearing personal
-dominance, which you idealists and credulous take
-for spiritual authority.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Come now, Ward, we may as well keep our tempers
-and treat this matter decently. Nothing is gained by
-calling names. You are naturally prejudiced against a
-man who attacks the existing social order, and suggests
-that even the rulers of the synagogue and the great
-teachers of the schools have something yet to learn.
-Gregory is radical, revolutionary perhaps, but not a
-whit more so than the New Testament makes him. He
-is an absolutely conscientious man; he has given up
-every personal ambition, wealth, position, all that most
-men cling to—”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“In order to become a Dictator, in a field where
-there is very little competition.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everett suppressed the irritation which this interposition
-aroused, and continued in a lighter tone,—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You are enough of a dictator yourself to see this
-point, which had escaped the rest of us. I can see that
-it is a little bitter to you to have Mrs. Burgess seeking
-another spiritual and intellectual adviser,—going after
-other gods, as it were.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” said Ward, gravely; “it makes me sick at
-heart to see a woman like Mrs. Burgess, with all that
-glorious power of self-devotion of hers, throwing herself
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_255'>255</span>blindly into this wild, Quixotic experiment—sure to
-end in disappointment and defeat. It is mournful,
-most mournful,” and Ward shook his head in melancholy
-fashion. “And when it comes to Keith,” he
-resumed, “alas! our brother! Poor Keith, with his lifelong
-habits of luxurious ease, his conventional views
-of duty, his yardstick imagination, and his wretched
-health—to think of such a man being torn from all
-the amenities of a refined Christian home, and carted
-across lots, Government bonds and all, to be set down
-in some malarial swamp to dig ditches with a set of
-ploughmen, to prove, forsooth! that all men are created
-free and equal,” and Ward groaned and bent his head
-as if overcome by the picture he had called up.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Lifting his head suddenly, he added in a tone of pensive
-rumination.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“He is one of those men Thoreau tells of, who would
-not go a-huckleberrying without a medicine chest; and
-he would perish, I am convinced, if deprived of improved
-sanitary plumbing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“All very clever,” said Everett, “but I will take the
-liberty of mentioning the fact that the Burgess’s physician
-hails the North Carolina project as the very best
-thing which could happen for Keith’s health.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Hardly had he finished the sentence when a light
-knock was heard on the half-open door of the studio,
-and Anna Burgess, at Everett’s word, stepped into the
-room.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She wore a thin black gown, for the day was warm,
-and a broad-brimmed hat of some transparent black substance
-threw the fine shape of her head and the pure
-tints of her face into striking relief. A handful of white
-jonquils was fastened into the front of her gown, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_256'>256</span>the freshness of the June day seemed to enter the dusty,
-despoiled studio with her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Both men stood at gaze before her with deference and
-admiration in every line and look. With a delicate flush
-rising in her cheeks, Anna gave her hand to each, and
-spoke a word of greeting in which her natural shyness
-and her acquired social grace were mingled to a manner
-of peculiar charm.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I ran up to hand you these papers for Mr. Gregory,”
-she said to Everett, a vibration of suppressed joy in her
-full, low voice which he had never heard before. “You
-know he said he would like it if you would bring them,”
-and she placed a long envelope in his hand. “No, I
-cannot stop a moment, Keith is waiting for me in the
-carriage. I did not give the papers to the maid because
-I wanted to say to you, Mr. Everett, that Keith does not
-see it any differently,—about the estate, you know. He
-pledges the income, freely, altogether, but he feels that
-the estate itself should be kept intact.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Thank Heaven, he has a spark of reason left!”
-exclaimed Ward under his breath, adding quickly,—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Pardon me, Mrs. Burgess, but you know I am not
-a Gregorian psalm myself, yet.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna turned to him with her rare smile, less brilliant
-than clear and luminous.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“But I was so glad you came to the house, Professor
-Ward, and heard Mr. Gregory,” she said with gracious
-courtesy; “we cannot expect every one to follow out
-these new theories practically as we hope to do, but at
-least we want every one we care about to know really
-what they are.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you think that many of those present at your
-house that afternoon were inclined to accept Mr.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_257'>257</span>Gregory’s gospel, if I may so call it?” asked Ward,
-respectfully.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Of course not,” interjected Everett, “there was no
-one there but cranks and critics.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna’s face clouded a little. “No,” she said simply.
-“Fulham is not a good field for such a message; it was
-quite different in Burlington. Most of them went away
-saying it would be very fine if it were not wholly impossible.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And it does not occur to you, does it, Mrs. Burgess,”
-Ward pressed the question with undisguised earnestness,
-“that perhaps they were right? that there is something
-to be said for the old order, as old as the race? that
-possibly certain distinctions are inherent in the nature of
-things? Such distinctions, for instance, as separate
-you,” and Ward gave the pronoun a freight of significance
-to carry, “from that man,” and he indicated a
-labourer who had just left the room with an immense box
-of merchandise on his broad, bent shoulders, and whose
-slow, heavy steps could now be heard on the stairs
-below.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He had struck the wrong chord.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Professor Ward,” cried Anna, her voice even lower
-than its wont, but her emphasis the more intense, “did
-that man choose to be reduced to the life and little more
-than the faculties of a beast of burden, to be a brother
-to the ox, to live a blind, brutalized, animal existence,
-with neither joy nor star?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She paused a moment, and then added, with indescribable
-pathos dimming the kindling light in her eyes:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is that man, Professor Ward, and what he stands
-for, that sends me to Fraternia, if perhaps I can yet
-atone. It is I that have made that man what he is, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_258'>258</span>you, and all of us who have clung gladly to our powers
-and privileges, and dared to believe that we were made
-for the heights of life, and men like him for the abyss.
-If we could read our New Testament once as if it were
-not an old story! If we, for one moment, could lay our
-social cruelties beside that pattern shown us in the
-mount!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The deep heart of her and the innermost motive
-power broke forth from Anna’s usual quiet and reserve
-in these last words with thrilling influence upon both
-men. She was beautiful as she spoke, but with the
-beauty of some Miriam or Cassandra,—a woman, as
-had been said of her long before, “to die for, not to
-play games with.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Professor Ward, the irritation of his earlier mood
-quite gone, stood regarding Anna as she spoke with
-a sadness as profound as it was wholly unaffected.
-Having spoken, she turned to go.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Let me say one word, Mrs. Burgess,” he said, extending
-his hand to detain her a moment. “I sympathize
-deeply with your purposes, and I am not wholly
-incapable of appreciating your motives. From my
-heart I shall bid you God-speed on your way when your
-time comes to go out into this new spiritual adventure.
-It will be none the less noble because it is impossible.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Good-by,” she said, and smiled.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_259'>259</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXIX</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Canst drink the waters of the crispèd spring?</div>
- <div class='line in6'>O sweet Content!</div>
- <div class='line'>Swim’st thou in wealth, yet sink’st in thine own tears?</div>
- <div class='line in6'>O Punishment!</div>
- <div class='line'>Then he that patiently Want’s burden bears</div>
- <div class='line'>No burden bears, but is a king, a king.</div>
- <div class='line in6'>O sweet Content, O sweet, O sweet Content!</div>
- <div class='line'>Work apace, apace, apace, apace,</div>
- <div class='line'>Honest labour bears a lovely face.</div>
- <div class='line in34'>—<span class='sc'>Thomas Dekker</span>, 1600.</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>A valley, two thousand feet above the sea level,
-narrowing at its upper or northern end to a ravine
-piercing thickly wooded hills, but widening gradually
-southward, until, a mile lower down the mountain
-stream which issues from the gorge, it becomes a broad
-sunny meadow land.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>On a day in the middle of March, when the sun
-shone warm and a turquoise sky arched smiling over
-this valley, signs of human activity and energy prevailed
-on every side. In the bottom lands men were ploughing
-the broad level fields; here the river had been dammed,
-forming a pond, on the bank of which stood a large
-picturesque building sheathed with dark-green shingles.
-From the wide and open windows of this building the
-sound of whirring spindles and the joyous laughter of
-girls and men issued.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Higher up the valley men were at work building a
-light bridge of plank across the creek, while others were
-carting newly sawed lumber, with its strong pungent
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_260'>260</span>smell, from the sawmill below. On the eastern side
-of the valley, between this bridge and the mills half a
-mile south, were scattered or grouped at irregular intervals,
-forty or fifty small cabins, some of log, others of
-unplaned boards; thatched, or covered in red tile. Men
-and women were at work in the damp mould of the
-gardens by which these cabins were surrounded, and
-fresh green things were shooting up. On the opposite
-side of the stream, on a wooded knoll, stood a large,
-low, barrack-like building with a red roof, and near it
-a few cabins. It was opposite this group of buildings
-that the foot-bridge was in process of making, to supersede
-a single plank and rail which had hitherto connected
-the banks of the stream. Down the valley from
-this small and separate settlement stretched fields already
-under cultivation, for corn, potatoes, and cotton.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There were no streets in this rustic settlement. Footpaths
-led to the cottage doors through the thin, coarse
-grass, and along the eastern side of the little river; and
-between its bank and the houses ran a rough wagon
-road, deeply rutted now by the wheels of the lumber
-wagons in the soft, red soil. To the north and east the
-hills rose abruptly, covered with oak and pine, and the
-aromatic fragrance of the latter was in the air, mingling
-with the scent of the soil. Beyond the lower hills to
-the west loomed the shoulders of dim, blue mountains,
-while looking south, down the shining river, beyond a
-belt of woodland, the valley broadened out to the sunny
-plain stretching to the horizon line.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The limpid clearness of the air, the fragrance of the
-forest and the earth, the musical flow of the little river,
-the wonderful brilliancy of the sky, with the vast uplift
-of the mountains, gave a sense of wild perfection to the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_261'>261</span><em>ensemble</em>. Such was Fraternia in the morning of its
-second spring.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was during that decade which saw the sudden
-springing into life of so large a number of communistic
-organizations and settlements throughout the country,
-mainly in the south and west. Many of these experiments
-were crude and obscure; most of them were
-shortlived. They were founded on widely different
-social conceptions, ranging from those of unlimited
-license and rank anarchism up to the high ideals of the
-life of Christian brotherhood set forth in the early
-church.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The latter was the foundation of John Gregory’s
-colony in Fraternia. Inflexible morality and blamelessness
-of Christian living were his cardinal laws. Built
-upon them was the superstructure of economic and
-social equality, of labour sharing, and of domestic simplicity.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Thus far unusual promise attended the adventure,
-and peace and good will reigned in the little community.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Toward the upper end of the village half a dozen
-men were at work around a circular excavation not
-more than five or six feet in diameter, which had been
-lined with irregular slabs and blocks of stone patched
-together with clay. In blue overalls thickly bespattered
-with red mud and the sticky clay, a man was working
-on his knees at the edge of this basin. It was Keith
-Burgess. Near him, measuring with rule and line and
-marking out the width of the coping, stood the artist,
-Pierce Everett. Their fellow-workmen were two Irishmen—big, active fellows, with honest eyes—and a wiry
-little black-a-vised Jew, a quondam foreman in a New
-York sweat-shop. He was mixing clay and laying the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_262'>262</span>stone of the coping, while the Irishmen were at work
-in an open trench through which ran the pipe which
-was to conduct the water from a spring in the ravine
-above into the new reservoir.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Emerging from the woods below the dam a little
-crowd of children came straying up the valley, laughing
-and shouting, and jumping gayly over the pools of red
-mud in the road. Their hands were full of wild flowers,—bloodroot,
-and anemones, and arbutus; their hair
-was blown about in the wind; their eyes were shining.
-Among them, giving her hand to a little girl who
-walked with a crutch, walked Anna Burgess, her face
-as joyous as theirs, and a free, unhampered vigour and
-grace in every line of her figure. She was the head
-teacher in the village school, and was known to her
-scholars, and, indeed, quite generally in the little community,
-as “Sister Benigna.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This name, “Benigna,” which had come down in
-Anna’s family for generations, and had been given her
-as a second name, had not been used for many years,
-save by her mother, who still clung loyally to the full
-“Anna Benigna.” Who it was in Fraternia who had
-revived the beautiful old Moravian name was not
-known, but the use of it had been quickly established,
-especially among the children and the foreign folk.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The habit of using “Brother” and “Sister” with the
-given name in ordinary social intercourse was common,
-although not universal, in Fraternia. Anna’s assistants
-in the school—a pale, little English governess, who had
-apparently never known stronger food than tea and
-bread until she came to Fraternia, and a rosy-cheeked
-German kindergartner—were among the little flock, their
-hands overflowing with wild flowers, and their faces
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_263'>263</span>with the high delight the spring day brought them. It
-was Saturday morning, and a holiday.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Suddenly there was a shout from some boys who
-were foremost in the company, and they came scampering
-back to Anna exclaiming that the “fountain” was
-almost finished, and, perhaps, the water would soon be
-turned into it. By common consent the whole party
-hastened on and soon encircled the workmen at the
-basin with noisy questions and merry chatter. It was
-to be so fine not to have to go up to the spring in the
-ravine with pails and pitchers any more. Could they
-surely have the water here for Sunday? Then Fräulein
-Frieda told them how the girls in her country came to
-such fountains with their jugs, and carried them away
-full on their heads. She showed them with a tin pail,
-found lying in the clay, just how it was done, walking
-away with firm, balanced step, the pail unsupported on
-her pretty flaxen-haired head, on which the sun shone
-dazzlingly. The little girls were greatly delighted, and
-all declared they should learn to carry their water pots
-home on their heads from the <i><span lang="de" xml:lang="de">Quelle</span></i>, as Fräulein Frieda
-called it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna stood at the edge of the basin, Keith at her
-feet, on his knees, with the trowel in his hands,
-smiling up at her, the little lame girl still at her side,
-a trace of wistfulness in her eyes as she watched the
-others.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“We will not carry our water pails on our heads, you
-and I, will we, little Judith?” Anna asked, kind and
-motherly. “<em>We</em> want our brains to grow, and it might
-crowd them down; don’t you think so?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The swarthy Jew looked up from the clay he was
-mixing with quick, instinctive gratitude. Judith was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_264'>264</span>his child. He grinned a broad and rather hideous grin,
-and exclaimed in a broken dialect:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Das ist so, Kleine; shust listen to our lady! She
-knows. She says it right.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Pierce Everett’s dark eyes flashed with sudden enthusiasm.
-Turning to Anna he bowed profoundly and said
-low to Keith, as well as to her:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“There you have it! Barnabas has found your title—‘our
-lady’!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked into Everett’s dark eager eyes with her
-quiet smile, and was about to speak, when a sudden
-noise of grating and rattling and horses’ hoofs behind
-them caused them all three to turn and look down the
-river. A horse and stone drag were approaching rapidly,
-driven by John Gregory, who stood on the drag, which
-was loaded with big clean pebbles from the river-bed.
-He wore a coarse grey flannel shirt, the collar turned
-off a little at the throat, and rough grey trousers
-tucked into high rubber boots, which reached to the
-thighs. The cloth cap on his head with its vizor bore
-a certain resemblance to a helmet, and altogether the
-likeness of the whole appearance to that of a Roman
-warrior in his chariot did not escape the three friends
-who watched its approach in the motley crowd around
-the basin.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory drove his drag close up to the edge of the
-coping, now nearly laid, greeted the company with a
-courteous removal of his hat and a cordial Good-morning,
-then discharged the load of pebbles in a glinting
-heap on the soft red earth.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was no conscious assumption of mastery or
-direction in Gregory’s manner, nothing could have been
-simpler or more democratic than the impartial comradery
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_265'>265</span>with which he joined the others, nevertheless the sense
-that the master was among them was instantly communicated
-throughout the little group. Up in the trench,
-nearly to the base of the cliffs which marked the entrance
-to the ravine, one Irishman said to the other, in
-a tone of satisfaction not unmixed with good-natured
-sarcasm:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Himsilf’s come now. The gintlemin masons will git
-to rights or they’ll lose their job, d’ye mind, Patrick?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, ay,” said the other, “an’ the same to yersilf, if
-ye ivir noticed it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a little silence even among the chattering
-children as Gregory stooped by Everett’s side, pulled up
-with the ease of mighty muscle two or three stones,
-took the trowel from Keith’s hand and a hod of mortar
-from the waiting Barnabas, and set the stones over on a
-truer line, laughing the while with the men and turning
-aside the edge of criticism with frank self-disparagement,
-as being himself but a tyro.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A curious consequence of Gregory’s appearance on
-the scene after this sort, was the dwarfed effect of the
-men around him, who suddenly seemed to have shrunk
-in stature and proportions, and whose motions, beside
-the virile force and confident freedom of his, appeared
-incompetent and weak.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had drawn back from her place near the basin’s
-edge. Gregory had not looked at her nor she at him
-directly. In fact, they habitually, for some reason they
-themselves could not define, avoided each other, and yet
-could not avoid a piercing consciousness, when together,
-of every look and word of the other. A sudden shyness
-and subduing had fallen instantly upon Anna’s bright
-mood, and, while the others watched every look and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_266'>266</span>motion of Gregory with almost breathless interest, she
-stood apart and arranged little Judith’s flowers with apparent
-preoccupation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Tossing the trowel back to Keith, with whom he
-exchanged a few words of question, Gregory next hastened
-with long strides up the line of the trench to the
-place where the Irishmen were at work. Here was a
-primitive moss-grown trough, into which the water of
-the spring had hitherto been conducted, and to which
-all the people had been obliged to come for their supply
-of drinking water. The new iron pipe already replaced
-the rude wooden conduit which had done duty until
-now, but the water still flowed into the trough, and
-would do so until, the basin completed, the connection
-might be made between the two sections of pipe.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Under Gregory’s direction this was now effected, and
-the water of the spring, if there was no flaw, should
-now flow unimpeded into the basin below. To test the
-basin, it was Gregory’s purpose to make the experiment
-at once.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Presently there was a shout, exulting and joyous, from
-the company below.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The water is here! The water! The water!”
-rose the cry into the stillness of the valley. The men
-at work upon the bridge left their work, and hastened
-to join the little crowd.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With strides even longer than before, Gregory came
-down again, the Irishmen following him in a scramble
-to keep up. Joy was in all their faces, and the
-deepest joy of all in that of Gregory. They stood
-together and watched the jet of water as it sprang from
-the mouth of the pipe, turbid at first, but gradually
-becoming clear and sparkling, and fell with a gentle,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_267'>267</span>musical plashing into the stone fountain. There was
-complete silence for a little space, as they looked
-intently at the increasing depth of the gathering pool,
-and then, bringing down his hands with a will on the
-shoulders of Keith and Everett, Gregory exclaimed:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Men, you have done well, all of you! It holds, do
-you see? It is tight as a ship. Hurrah!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They all joined in a great cheer, and then, swiftly
-finding where she stood, or knowing, as he always
-seemed to know, instinctively, Gregory’s eyes sought
-Anna Burgess.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Will Sister Benigna come up here?” he asked
-quietly, with the unhesitating steadiness of the man who
-knows just what he means to do.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna came slowly forward, and stood on the new-laid
-coping, by the side of Gregory, greatly wondering.
-Just beyond her was Keith, side by side with Barnabas
-Rosenblatt. Meanwhile, Gregory had taken from his
-pocket a small folding drinking cup of shining metal,
-which he had held in the flow of the spring water until
-it was thoroughly purified. Turning now to look at all
-those who stood round about, he said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Brothers, sisters, little children, this water is the
-good gift of God. Let this fountain be now consecrated
-to all pure and holy uses. By the wish which I
-believe to be in every one of you, let the first who shall
-drink of this living water from the new fountain be our
-Sister Benigna.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With these words Gregory filled the cup from the
-sparkling outgush of the spring, the water so cold that
-the polished cup was covered with frosty dimness, and
-with simple seriousness handed it to Anna. Affection and
-reverence were in the eyes of all the people as they
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_268'>268</span>watched her while with uncovered head, calm brow,
-and the fine simplicity of unconsciousness she took the
-cup and drank. But with the first touch of her lips to
-the cup the hand in which she held it trembled; and
-when she drained the last drop, it trembled still. As
-Anna stepped back, having drunk, into the ranks, Gregory
-lifted his hand, and with the gesture which commands
-devotion repeated the ancient words,—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘O most high, almighty, good Lord God, to thee
-belong praise, glory, honour, and all blessing!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘Praised be my Lord for our brother the wind, and
-for air and cloud, calms and all weather, by the which
-thou upholdest in life all creatures.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘Praised be my Lord for our sister, water, who is
-very serviceable unto us, and humble, and precious, and
-clear.’”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then with a deeper solemnity and significance in
-face and voice, he continued:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘If thou knewest the gift of God and who it is
-that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have
-asked of him and he would have given thee living water.’</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘Jesus said, If any man thirst, let him come to me
-and drink.’”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was noon, and turning they all dispersed, each to
-his own place, a deepened gladness in their faces. But
-as for Anna Burgess, a dimness was upon her joy, a
-thrilling undercurrent of dread and wonder which she
-could not understand; for she had drunk of the Cup
-of Trembling—and knew it not.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_269'>269</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXX</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>We’ve toiled and failed; we spake the word;</div>
- <div class='line in2'>None hearkened; dumb we lie;</div>
- <div class='line'>Our Hope is dead, the seed we spread</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Fell o’er the earth to die.</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>What’s this? For joy our hearts stand still,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>And life is loved and dear,</div>
- <div class='line'>The lost and found the cause hath crowned,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>The Day of Days is here.</div>
- <div class='line in34'>—<span class='sc'>William Morris.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>The Burgesses had come to Fraternia in the preceding
-December, although Keith had soon left again,
-having still many business concerns to recall him to
-Fulham. The house there was now closed, and the
-life there for them presumably ended, and, late in February,
-Keith had returned to Fraternia.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had employed the months between their decision
-to join the coöperative colony and their actual
-journey to the South, in taking a short course in nursing
-in a Fulham hospital, reviving her old knowledge of the
-subject, gained in her girlhood in Burlington. She had
-it in mind to fit herself thus as thoroughly as the brief
-interval allowed, for the duties of a trained nurse to the
-little community, this being an occupation at once congenial
-to herself and important for the general good.
-For uniformity of service was by no means according
-to John Gregory’s plan, and Gertrude Ingraham might
-not have found herself shut up to the cotton mill even
-if she had done so incredible a thing as to throw in her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_270'>270</span>fortunes with Fraternia. All must labour, and all must
-labour for the general good,—one of Gregory’s prime
-maxims being, If a man will not work, neither shall
-he eat; but as far as practicable that labour was to be
-on the line of each person’s best capacity, choice, and
-development. Thus Keith Burgess’s feat of stonelaying
-had not been enforced, but self-chosen, as an expression
-of his good will in the sharing the coarser labours of
-the people. The work to which he had been assigned
-by Gregory was clerical, not manual, being that of
-secretary to the colony.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna, thus far, had had no opportunity for any especial
-use of her vocation as nurse, the families of Fraternia
-being remarkably healthy under the simple and wholesome
-conditions of their life, and serious illness unknown
-during that winter. Her trained and well-equipped
-mind obviously fitted her for a work of intellectual rather
-than industrial character, and the duties of teaching
-the children of the colony five hours a day—the required
-time of service for the women—were given to her by
-common consent.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Neither at the time when she was chosen to this
-service, nor at any other, had John Gregory directly
-communicated his wishes to Anna or discussed his plans
-with her; and yet, from the day of her arrival in Fraternia
-he had perhaps never formed a plan which was not
-in some subtle manner shaped by unconscious reference
-to her. In her own way, Anna’s personality was hardly
-less conspicuous than his; and these two invisibly and
-involuntarily modified each the other’s action and deliberation
-as the orbits of two stars are influenced by
-their mutual attraction and repulsion.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>By the whole habit and choice of his life John Gregory
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_271'>271</span>was a purist in morals and in his personal practice
-of simplicity. The most frugal fare and the simplest
-domestic appliances served his turn by preference, although
-he had been born and bred in comparative luxury.
-He was free and fraternal with men; gently
-respectful to women, whom he yet never treated as if
-they were superior to men by force of their weakness,
-but rather as being on a basis of accepted equality;
-while to little children he always showed winning tenderness.
-Socially, however, he scrupulously avoided
-intercourse with women, with a curious, undeviating
-persistency which almost suggested ascetic withdrawal.
-The other men of the colony, several of whom were
-men of some social rank and mental culture, found it
-pleasant to stop on the woodland paths or by the stream,
-all the more in these soft spring days, and exchange
-thought and word, light or grave, with the girls and
-women, but never once had Gregory been seen to do
-this, or to visit the households presided over by women
-on any errand whatever. Whether a line of action
-which thus inevitably separated him more and more
-from the domestic life of the people, was pursued by
-deliberate purpose or by the accident of personal inclination
-was not clear, but certain it was that the fact
-contributed to the distinction and separation which
-seemed inevitably to belong to Gregory. With all
-his simplicity of life and democratic brotherliness of
-conversation, he lived and moved in Fraternia with
-an effect of one on a wholly different plane from the
-others, and with the full practical exercise of a dictatorship
-which no one resented because all regarded him
-with a species of hero-worship as manifestly the master
-of the situation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_272'>272</span>His residence was in one of the small cabins on the
-western side of the river, to which the bridge gave convenient
-access. The other cabins served, one as a
-rude, temporary library, the other as storehouse, while
-the large barrack-like building furnished bachelor quarters
-for the unmarried men. Gregory, since Everett’s arrival,
-had shared his house with the artist. Their meals
-were taken in common with the other men. No one
-was in the habit of entering the house, Gregory having
-a kind of office, agreeably furnished, at the cotton mill,
-where he was usually to be found when not at work in
-field or wood. This was, however, often the case, for
-he never failed to discharge the daily quota of manual
-labour which he had assigned himself; and it was noticeable
-to all that if any task were of an offensive or difficult
-nature, he was the one to assume it first and as a matter
-of course. It was owing to this characteristic, perhaps
-more than to any other, save his singular personal
-ascendency, that the silent dictatorship of Gregory in
-the little community was so cheerfully accepted. Nominally
-the government of the village was in the hands
-of a board of directors, with an inner executive committee,
-and of which Gregory was chairman. Several
-women served on the larger board. Keith Burgess was
-a director; Anna’s name had not been proposed for the
-office. There had been but one vacancy in the board
-on their arrival, which was sufficient reason. The
-councils of the directors were held weekly in Gregory’s
-office, and thus far a good degree of harmony prevailed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Again it was Saturday morning. A week had passed
-which had brought many days of heavy rain. The
-river, swollen and yellow, dashed noisily down from the
-gorge and filled its channel below with deep and urgent
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_273'>273</span>current. On its turbid flood appeared from time to
-time newly felled logs, floated down from the regions
-above, where Fraternia men were at work, taking advantage
-of the swollen river for conveying their lumber to
-the sawmill. A west wind, the night before, had
-blown the clouds before it, and this morning the sun
-shone from an effulgent sky; the wind had died to a
-soft breeze laden with manifold fragrance; and in place
-of the chill of the north, the air possessed the indescribable
-softness and balm of the southern spring.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was again a busy morning in Fraternia, and everywhere,
-and in all the homely tasks, thrilled the unchecked
-joy in simple existence of innocent hearts living out their
-normal bent for mutual help and burden-sharing. In
-the garden ground around their house, which was high
-up the valley in a group of three others, one of which
-contained the common kitchen and dining room for the
-inmates of all, Anna Burgess was at work in her garden,
-sowing and planting in the damp soil. Glancing down
-the valley, she could see Everett hard at work with another
-man, who had been an architect in Burlington,
-erecting a little thatched pavilion, of original design,
-graceful and rustic, to protect the new and precious
-fountain from the sun, and keep its water clean and serviceable.
-Across the river, in the library, Keith, she
-knew, was at work at his bookkeeping, and also at the
-task of collecting excerpts from the writings of social
-economists for use in an address which he was preparing.
-A new mental activity had been stimulated in
-Keith by the change of climate and conditions, and the
-influx of new ideas; and the ease and cheerfulness with
-which he had adapted himself to the primitive habits of
-pioneer life, would have amazed his friend Ward.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_274'>274</span>Barnabas had been gathering one or two sizable
-slabs of stone which had been left from the lining and
-coping of the fountain, and Anna watched him a moment
-as, having loaded them into a wheelbarrow, he
-proceeded to carry them down to the new bridge, and
-so across to the west side of the river. She hardly
-cared to wonder what he was about to do, being otherwise
-absorbed, and her eyes did not follow him as he
-wheeled his burden on up the knoll on which were the
-library and the house of Gregory, set in their bit of pine
-wood.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The door of Gregory’s cabin stood open, as was customary
-in Fraternia in mild weather. Barnabas dropped
-the burden from his barrow just before the open door,
-stood to wipe the sweat from his forehead, and then,
-kneeling, began the self-imposed effort of placing the
-stones together for a low step, which was yet lacking to
-the rudely finished house. As he worked, he now and
-then lifted his eyes and glanced into the interior of the
-house which he had never entered. It had the walls
-and ceiling of unplaned, uncovered boards of all the
-Fraternia houses; the floor was absolutely bare and
-absolutely clean, damp in spots and redolent of soap
-from recent scrubbing. The open windows let in the
-sun-warmed, piney air, but the light was obscured, the
-trees growing close to the house, and a dim gold-green
-twilight reigned in the silent room. A door stood open
-into the second room where two narrow iron beds came
-within the field of vision. There was the ordinary
-chimney, built of brick, of ample proportions, with a
-pine shelf running across, and in the fireplace logs of fat
-pine laid for a blaze in the evening, which was still sure
-to be cool. Plain wooden arm-chairs stood near the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_275'>275</span>hearth; an uncovered table of home manufacture,
-clumsy and heavy, in the middle of the room, was
-thickly strewn with books and papers and writing materials.
-It was the typical Fraternia interior,—bare, and
-yet not comfortless, and with its own effect of simple
-distinction, conveyed by absolute cleanness, order, and
-the absence of the superfluous.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But it was none of these details which caught the eye
-of Barnabas. Above the chimney there was fastened
-by hidden screws close against the wall, so that it had
-the effect of a panel, a picture, unframed, showing the
-figure of a slender girl with uplifted head and solemn
-eyes, set against an Oriental background. It was
-Everett’s study of the Girlhood of the Virgin, and
-besides it there was no picture nor decoration of any
-sort in the place.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Each time he lifted his eyes from the stones before
-him to the picture whose high lights gleamed strangely
-through the dimness of the room within, Barnabas was
-more impressed with some elusive resemblance in the
-face; and at last, striking the stone with his hand, he
-murmured to himself in his native tongue, “Now I
-have it! The damsel there is like our lady when she
-prays.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Meanwhile the river ran between and thundered over
-the dam below; the red roofs gleamed warm in the sun,
-and Anna, down on her knees like Barnabas, on a bit
-of board, was tending her bulbs with loving hands,
-while within her was springing a very rapture of poetic
-joy. Almost for the first time in her life she was conscious
-of unalloyed happiness. Was it because the sky
-was blue? or because the vital flood of spring beat and
-surged about her in the river, in the forest, in the air?
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_276'>276</span>Not wholly; nor even because under these kindly influences
-all the dormant poetic and creative instincts of her
-nature were stirring into luxuriant blossoming, although
-all these things filled her with throbbing delight. The
-deeper root of her joy was in the satisfaction, so long
-delayed, of her passion for brotherhood with lowly men
-and poor; the release from the constraint of artificial
-conventions, and from the painful sense, which she could
-never escape in the years of her Fulham life, that she
-owed to every weary toiler who passed her on the street
-an apology for her own leisure, her luxury and ease.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Suddenly Anna rose, and stood facing the west, her
-eyes full of light. A voice within her had called and
-said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I can write poetry now, and I will!” The fulness
-of energy of joy and fulfilment in her spirit sought expression
-as naturally as the mountain spring sought its
-outlet in the fountain below.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Just then her neighbour, in the house on the left,—it
-was the dining-house,—put her head out of the window
-and said, reflectively:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Say, Sister Benigna, I wish I knew how to get the
-dinner up into the woods to the men-folks. It’s half-past
-eleven and time it went this minute, and Charley
-has gone down to Spalding after the mail; but I suppose
-it’s late or something. Anyway he ain’t here, and
-I’ve got the rest to wait on.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why, I could take the dinner pails up to them,
-Sister Amanda,” answered Anna, obligingly. The
-“men-folks” alluded to were of her own group of families
-and were felling lumber in the woods north of the
-valley.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You couldn’t do it alone, but Fräulein Frieda,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_277'>277</span>she’d be tickled to death to go with you. There she
-is now,” and Sister Amanda flew to the cabin door
-through which a neatly ordered dinner table could be
-seen, and shouted down the slope to the young German
-teacher who had just come over the bridge with some
-books on her arm from the library.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A few moments later Anna sallied out from the house
-with Frieda, both carrying well-stored dinner pails.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No matter,” said Anna, smiling at the sudden diversion
-from her poetic inspiration; “it is better to live
-brotherhood than to sing brotherhood. But some day,
-maybe, yet, I shall sing.”</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_278'>278</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXXI</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line in8'>Heaven’s gift takes earth’s abatement!</div>
- <div class='line'>He who smites the rock and spreads the water,</div>
- <div class='line'>Bidding drink and live a crowd beneath him,</div>
- <div class='line'>Even he, the minute makes immortal,</div>
- <div class='line'>Proves, perchance, but mortal in the minute,</div>
- <div class='line'>Desecrates, belike, the deed in doing.</div>
- <div class='line in38'>—<span class='sc'>Robert Browning.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>Relays of men had been at work in the woods clothing
-the steep banks of the ravine above Fraternia for
-three days, even while the rain was falling in torrents.
-It was absolutely necessary to secure the lumber while
-the river was of a depth to carry it down stream, and for
-a time all other work was in abeyance.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory had worked steadily with the rest at the
-wood cutting, but Keith had told Anna the night before
-that on Saturday morning he would be obliged to
-go down to Spalding, the small town in the plain below
-the valley, on urgent business concerning notes which
-were coming due and must be extended if possible.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was therefore with great surprise that Anna, as
-they approached the spot where the men were at work,
-heard Frieda exclaim:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“There is the master himself; see, Sister Benigna!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They had had a merry scramble up the gorge, but a
-hard one. The swollen stream had submerged the narrow
-path by which the ascent was commonly made,
-and it was only by finding the footholds cut out by the
-men with their axes in the earth of the dripping, slippery
-bank above, that Anna and her companion had been
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_279'>279</span>able to make their way on. Holding their pails with
-one hand and clinging to overhanging branches or roots
-of ferns and laurel with the other, shaking the splashes
-of rain from the dripping leaves as they struck their
-faces, the two had scrambled breathlessly forward; and
-now, at length, the welcome sound of the axe greeted
-their ears, and they saw a little beyond, strewing the
-underbrush, the new chips and shining splinters of
-stripped bark which told that trees had recently been
-felled.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had just stopped to exclaim:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How good it smells, Frieda,—such a wild, pure
-smell!” and was laughing at her own choice of adjectives,
-when Frieda had called her attention to John
-Gregory. He was standing at no great distance from
-them in the midst of the rapid, roaring creek where the
-water reached nearly to the tops of his high boots, and,
-with a strong pole in both hands, was directing the
-course of the logs, which were eddying wildly about him
-on the surface of the torrent, into the proper channel
-which should carry them down stream.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Frieda’s voice attracted his attention to their approach,
-and without pause he strode through the water, leaped
-up the bank and was promptly in the path, if it could be
-called such, before them, holding out both hands to
-relieve them of their burdens, and smiling a cordial
-greeting.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna’s cheeks wore a vivid flush.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then you did not go to Spalding?” she asked,
-seeking to quiet the confusion of her surprise and
-the immoderate beating of her heart. Frieda, she
-saw gratefully, was quite as excited; it was so unusual
-for Mr. Gregory to bestow attentions of this sort upon
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_280'>280</span>them; it was not strange that one should be a little
-stirred.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No,” he said, leading on in the now broadening
-path, “I found I could send a letter by Charley, and
-the men rather needed a long-legged fellow like myself
-up here this morning. But I see that my doing this has
-reacted unexpectedly upon you. Charley not being on
-hand to bring the dinner, our ladies have had to take
-his place,” and Gregory turned toward them as he
-spoke with regret and apology which were evidently
-sincere.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Are you very tired?” he asked simply, looking at
-Frieda but speaking to Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They both declared that it had been great fun and
-they were not in the least tired; and indeed the bright
-bloom of their cheeks, and the laughter in their eyes,
-and the elastic firmness of their steps were sufficient
-reassurance.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I think, Mr. Gregory,” said Anna, quite at her ease
-now, “that Fraternia women can never know anything
-of that disease of civilization, nervous prostration. It
-will become extinct in one spot at least.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“‘More honoured in the breach than the observance,’”
-quoted Gregory, “we shall hail its loss.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Soon they reached a little clearing, where, the underbrush
-trampled down, the rugged steepness of the bank
-declining to a gentler slope, and the sun having found
-full entrance by reason of the removal of the larger trees,
-there was a possibility of finding a dry place to rest.
-Here they were soon joined by half a dozen men, several
-of whom had brought their dinner with them, and preparations
-were made for a fire to heat the coffee which
-filled one of the pails brought by Anna and Frieda. The
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_281'>281</span>other was solidly packed with sweet, wholesome brown
-bread and butter and thick slices of meat.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The fat pine chips and splinters burned readily in
-spite of the all-pervading dampness, and the coffee-pail,
-suspended over this small camp-fire from a hastily improvised
-tripod, was soon sending up a deliciously fragrant
-steam.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The men treated the two women as if they had been
-foreign princesses, covering a great tree-trunk with
-their coats for a kind of throne for them, and serving
-them with coffee in tin cups with much flourish of mock
-ceremony. This part of the proceedings John Gregory
-watched from a little distance, leaning against a tree,
-a smile of quiet pleasure in his eyes. He refused the
-coffee for himself, drinking always and only water, but
-ate the bread and meat they handed him with hearty
-relish and a vast appetite.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>By a sort of inevitable gravitation, almost before the
-meal was concluded, Frieda had strayed off into the
-woods with Matt Taylor, son of Anna’s neighbour,
-whose devotion to her was one of the especial interests
-for Fraternia folk that spring. A certain view from the
-crest of the hill beyond the little clearing was by no
-means to be missed. Then, one after the other, the men
-took up their axes and returned to their work; but John
-Gregory kept his place, and still stood leaning against the
-tree, facing Anna, the smouldering embers of the fire
-between.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He had been speaking on a subject in which all had
-been interested,—the prayer test advocated by Mr.
-Tyndall, which had attracted the attention of the
-scientific and religious world of that time. The men
-had gone away reluctantly, leaving the conversation to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_282'>282</span>these two. Heretofore Anna had hardly spoken, but
-now with deepening seriousness she said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I feel the crude, incredible impertinence of such a
-test as this which Mr. Tyndall has proposed, and yet
-it brings up very keenly to me my own attitude for
-many years.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory looked a question, but did not speak, and
-Anna went on:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“A good woman whom I once heard speak at Mrs.
-Ingraham’s in Burlington gave me an idea of prayer,
-quite new to me then, but which I at least partially
-accepted, and which has had its effect on my inner life
-ever since.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was—?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That we were to pray to God for every small
-material interest of life, and were to expect definite,
-concrete, physical return. That if such was not our
-experience it was because we were not dwelling near
-God, and were out of harmony with him. This life of
-answered prayer and perfect demonstrable union which
-she described was called the ‘higher life.’”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What was your own experience?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It has been a long experience of spiritual defeat.
-I prayed for years for every temporal need, asked for
-whatever I deeply desired, and—never—perhaps there
-was one exception, but hardly more—received an
-answer to my praying which I could fairly assume to be
-such.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna’s face was profoundly sad, as she spoke, with
-the sense of the baffling disappointments of years.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“In the end what has been the effect on you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have ceased to pray at all, Mr. Gregory. I know
-that sounds very harsh, perhaps very wrong, but I lost
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_283'>283</span>the expectation of a response, and the constant defeat
-and failure made me bitter and unbelieving. God seemed
-only to mock my prayers, not to fulfil. It seemed to
-me at last that I was dishonouring him by praying, and
-that waiting in silence and patience was shown to be my
-portion. Do you think that was sinful?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna raised her eyes timidly to Gregory’s face with
-this question, and met the repose and steady confidence
-of it with a swift presentiment of comfort.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No,” he answered; “I think you were simply struggling
-to release yourself from the meshes of the net
-which a mercenary conception of prayer cannot fail to
-throw over the soul. It was said of John Woolman,
-and a holier man never lived, that he offered no prayers
-for special personal favours. I believe the theory of
-prayer of your Burlington friend not only mistaken,
-but dangerous and misleading. Instead of such a habit
-of mind as she described being a ‘higher life,’ I should
-call it a lower one. The nearer the man comes to God,
-the less he prays, not the more, for definite objective
-things and externals; the more he rests on the great
-good will of God. Prayer was not designed for man to
-use to conform a reluctant God to his will, to get things
-given him, but to conform the man’s own blind and
-erring will to the divine. By this I do not mean to
-say that no prayers for temporal objects are granted.
-Many have been, but the soul that feeds itself on this
-conception of prayer as a system of practical demand
-and supply lives on husks.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“But there are many promises?” Anna said with
-hesitation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” said Gregory, with the emphasis of sure conviction,
-crossing the space between them to stand
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_284'>284</span>directly before her, forgetting all his usual scruples;
-“but you must interpret Scripture by Scripture, by the
-whole tendency and purpose, not by isolated mottoes
-which men like to drag out for spiritual decoration,
-breaking off short all their roots which reach down into
-the solid rock of universal Truth! Look at our Lord
-himself—did he ask for ‘ease and rest and joys’?
-It is only as we enter into his spirit that our prayers are
-answered, and that almost means that we shall cease to
-pray at all for personal benefits. He prayed, often,
-whole nights together, but was it that he might win his
-own cause with the people about him? Was it not
-rather for the multitudes upon whom he had compassion,
-and that God the Father should be made manifest in
-himself? Ah, Sister Benigna, few of us have sounded
-the depths of this great subject of prayer. It is one of
-the deepest things of God; and, believe me, it is not
-until we have cast out utterly the last shred of the notion
-of childish coaxing of God to do what will please us,
-that we can catch some small perception of its meaning.
-But let me say just one thing more: you are too young
-to count any prayer unanswered. At present you see
-in part and interpret God’s dealings only in part. At
-the end of life your interpretation will be larger, calmer
-than it is now. We ‘change the cruel prayers we made,’
-and even here live to praise God that they are broken
-away ‘in his broad, loving will.’”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna sat in silence, her eyes downcast, slowly passing
-in review the nature of her own most ardent prayers and
-the deep anguish and doubt of their non-fulfilment.
-Not one, she saw, could bear the high test of likeness to
-the mind of Christ, not one but had its admixture of
-selfishness, not one but seemed poor and vain in this
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_285'>285</span>new light. A nobler conception of the relation of her
-soul to God seemed to dawn within her. She looked up
-then, and saw upon Gregory’s face that inner illumination
-which belongs to the religious genius. The look
-of it smote her eyes as if with white and dazzling
-light, and they fell as if it were impossible to bear it.
-Then she rose, and they stood for a moment alone and
-in silence, while a sense of measureless content overflowed
-Anna’s spirit, and for an instant made time and
-space and human relations as if they were not. So strong
-upon her was the sense of uplift from the contact with
-the spirit of Gregory. She hardly knew at first that the
-incredible had happened. John Gregory had taken her
-hand in his, with reverent gentleness, for some seconds.
-He was asking her if he had been able to help her in
-any wise, and asking it as if he cared very much. She
-said “yes,” quite simply, and turned to go. Frieda
-was coming back, and they were lingering over long.
-Slowly they descended the rugged path before them, for
-a strange trepidation had come over Anna,—a vague,
-new, disturbing joy.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_286'>286</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXXII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c015'>What went ye out into the wilderness for to see?... A man clothed in
-soft raiment? Behold, they which are gorgeously apparelled, and live delicately,
-are in kings’ courts.—<cite>St. Luke’s Gospel.</cite></p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Instead of the masterly good humour, and sense of power, and fertility of resource
-in himself; instead of those strong and learned hands, those piercing and
-learned eyes, that supple body, and that mighty and prevailing heart, which the
-father had, whom nature loved and feared, whom snow and rain, water and land,
-beast and fish, seemed all to know and to serve, we have now a puny, protected
-person, guarded by walls and curtains, stoves and down-beds, coaches, and menservants
-and women-servants from the earth and the sky.—<span class='sc'>R. W. Emerson.</span></p>
-
-<p class='c010'>The spring passed in Fraternia, and the summer.
-Not again did John Gregory and Anna come into direct
-personal communication. They went indeed their several
-ways with a steadier avoidance of this than before,
-from an undefined, but instinctive, sense of danger.
-Nevertheless, the fact that they breathed the same air
-and shared the same lot in life sufficed to yield in the
-heart of each an unfailing spring of contentment; while
-now and again it would happen that Anna, in her schoolroom
-or cottage, and Gregory, at his work, lifting their
-eyes at a footstep or a shadow, would be aware that the
-other had drawn near and passed by, and contentment
-would give place to nameless joy.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The poetic impulse which Anna had inherited from
-both parents, but the expression of which had been
-stifled by the deadening of her high desires which life in
-Fulham had brought, now developed unchecked. Many
-influences promoted this development: her clear child-delight
-in the rich life of nature about her, the release
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_287'>287</span>of her long-cabined spiritual energy, and the stimulation
-of her powers of discernment and interpretation by contact
-with the strong intellectual power of Gregory.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory was, in the simple system of life in Fraternia,
-at once prophet, priest, and king; and his most potent
-influence over the people was manifest in the Sunday
-services and in the evening lectures which, for lack of
-a church, were held in a large empty room on the upper
-floor of the cotton mill. Anna found in these sermons
-and lectures the strongest intellectual and spiritual food
-upon which she had ever fared, and throve apace, having
-good faculty of assimilation. The verses which she
-wrote at intervals from a sudden and almost irresistible
-impulsion were always, when completed, turned over to
-her husband. Proud and pleased at this new gift of
-Anna’s, it was Keith’s habit to take them straightway to
-Gregory. Anna never knew this. She knew, however,
-that her poetry found its way into print, and now and
-then, she found, into the hearts of sincere people. This
-was new food for unaffected gladness, and she was
-glad.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The summer, although its fierce continuous heat had
-been hard to bear, was yet the season <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">par excellence</span></i> for
-Fraternia, and peace and plenty reigned in the valley.
-But with the autumn came a change, gradual at first, but
-later strongly accented. The wholesome occupations of
-the spring and summer came, of necessity, to a standstill.
-There was now little vent for the energy and
-working force of the people, while the scant resources
-of the narrow valley offered nothing to counteract a dull
-ennui which settled like a palpable cloud upon them. It
-had been a bad year for all their crops; the cotton crop
-had been a total failure, and the mill was shut down.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_288'>288</span>This threw nearly fifty of the little community into enforced
-idleness, and a smouldering resentment was bred
-by the discovery that there had never been a profit, but
-rather a sustained loss, on the output of the mill by reason
-of Gregory’s scruple against selling at any advance
-beyond the bare cost of production. This principle
-might have a fine and lofty sound from the lips of an
-orator, speaking on broad, general lines; but the hard
-business sense of average men and women rebelled
-against the concrete results of its application to their
-own isolated case.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“If other people did the same, it might work. For
-one manufactory alone to attempt it is simply commercial
-suicide,” they said to each other, and with justice.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It became known, moreover, throughout the community,
-that a heavy mortgage had been placed on the
-land, held by a rich cotton planter in South Carolina,
-and that a wide chasm yet intervened between their
-present condition and that of self-support. A more
-serious disappointment and a more immediate difficulty,
-however, lay in the inadequacy of their food products
-to the needs of the people, and the consequent demand
-for ready money wherewith to buy the necessities of life.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The fare, hitherto of the simplest, was gradually made
-coarser and less palatable, since better could not be.
-Winter was coming on; open-air life had become impossible;
-fierce winds coming down through the gorge
-swept the valley, and scattered the foliage of the forest,
-while a grey and sullen sky hung over, and every day
-brought chilly rains. There was some sickness, of a
-mild nature, but it emphasized the discomfort and inconveniences
-of the homes. The prospect for the coming
-months in Fraternia grew grim. The enthusiasm
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_289'>289</span>of novelty had tided the little community over the two
-preceding winters, but some stronger upholding must
-evidently now be interposed; for the people openly murmured,
-and began to say to each other sullenly, as once
-another company, “Were we brought out into this wilderness
-to die? As for this food, our soul loathes it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keenly conscious of the criticism of which he was
-now the subject, Gregory withdrew proudly more and
-more within himself, and touched less and less familiarly
-the life of those about him. It was well known that he
-deprived himself of all better fare than coarse bread and
-the water from the spring, that he had unhesitatingly
-devoted his last dollar to the enterprise so near his heart,
-and the patience and courage of the man were unfailing.
-But what of that? It was his own enterprise, with
-which he must stand or fall. Why should he not risk
-everything and bear everything? For the rest it was
-different. They, too, had given their money, and
-they had left their ceiled houses and their goodly fleshpots
-and their pleasant social commerce to further his
-project! They at least expected Christian food!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Crossing the bridge from the library, on a raw afternoon
-late in November, Anna Burgess met a woman of
-her own age, a woman of cheerful, sensible temperament
-and habit, the wife of the architect, whom she had
-known in Burlington. The husband, George Hanson,
-had surrendered with unconditional devotion to Gregory’s
-teaching, and the wife, in loyal sympathy, although
-herself by no means an idealist, had gathered her little
-brood of children and a few household treasures together,
-and had come to Fraternia with him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As she approached the bridge, Mrs. Hanson, holding
-up her wet skirts with both hands, cried to Anna:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_290'>290</span>“Oh, how I hate this red mud! Don’t you? It
-seems to me I could stand it better if it were not this
-horrid colour. One can never get away from it, or lose
-sight of it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna, who thus far, with only a few others, still kept
-heart and courage unbroken through this gloomy season,
-replied cheerfully that she rather liked the colour.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Mrs. Hanson gave a mournful sigh.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You like Fraternia anyway, don’t you, Sister Benigna?
-You always did?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna smiled at the <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">naïveté</span></i> of the question, and assented.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I must like what I have chosen above all other
-things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well, I confess I never did like it, and I never shall.
-Oh, it will do very well for a summer vacation if one
-could be sure of getting safe home at the end. But as
-for a life like this! and when it comes to bringing up
-children here!—” and Mrs. Hanson’s voice broke into
-a suppressed sob.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am sorry,” said Anna, gently.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, Sister Benigna!” cried the other, letting loose
-the floodgates of her tears, while they still stood on the
-bridge in the piercing rain, “I never was so homesick
-in my life! When I hear my children asking if they
-are not going home to see grandma pretty soon, it just
-breaks my heart. They have no appetite for this hard
-meat and coarse bread, and they look so white and thin,
-and plead so for a good old-fashioned turkey dinner!
-I have a little money of my own, and I would spend
-every cent of it for better food for them, but Mr. Hanson,
-he says that would be unjust to the rest who cannot
-have such things, and that all must share alike. He
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_291'>291</span>says it would cost a hundred dollars to give one such
-dinner as the children want to the whole village.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I suppose that is true,” said Anna, seriously; “and
-then it would only be harder to come back—”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“To prison fare,” Mrs. Hanson interjected with
-unconcealed bitterness. “Well, all I have to say is
-that, if this is coöperation, I’ve had all I want of it. As
-for ‘the brotherhood of man,’ I wish I may never hear
-of it again as long as I live! I believe we have some
-duties to ourselves.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With this she passed slowly on, and Anna hastened
-homeward, a deep pang in her heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Entering her own house, she found Keith, pale and
-dispirited, leaning with outstretched hands over the fire
-in an attitude unpleasantly suggestive of decrepitude and
-want. He looked up as Anna came in, and smiled
-faintly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I think I have taken a fresh cold,” he said hoarsely;
-“this climate is lovely half the year, but the other half—”
-and he left the sentence unfinished, coughing sharply.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna sat down by the hearth and removed her mud-sodden
-shoes, afterward hastening to prepare such scanty
-remedies for Keith as the cabin afforded. There was a
-dispensary down at the mill. She would go down for
-medicine as soon as she had made him comfortable.
-On the surface of her mind lay the habit of sympathy
-and care for her husband’s fragile health, but in the
-depth below was a sense she could not have formulated
-to herself of resentment at his lack of courage and fortitude.
-For Keith, although too finely courteous to share
-in the open murmuring of the people, was himself in
-the full swing of reaction from the comparative enthusiasm
-which he had felt six months ago. The fall weather
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_292'>292</span>had brought on ague, which, added to his chronic physical
-weakness, made him altogether wretched; and while
-he punctiliously avoided contributing to the public discontent,
-Anna perceived and understood perfectly his
-weariness with the enterprise. For the first time in
-their married life his patience and sweetness of temper
-failed; he had grown irritable, and fretted at small inconveniences
-in a way which chafed Anna’s hardier
-spirit indescribably.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am very sorry, Keith, you are so miserable to-day,”
-Anna said now, with half-mechanical commiseration.
-It chanced that, as she had come on her way
-home from the little conversation with Mrs. Hanson,
-a new sympathy had taken possession of her for the
-lonely man upon whom fell the full burden of all this
-reaction, but who bore it with such unflinching patience,
-albeit so silently. Almost inevitably, her mind being
-thus absorbed, the sympathy with Keith in his familiar
-ailments and complaints was rendered perfunctory for the
-time, and by comparison his weakness wore to her some
-complexion of unmanliness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Perhaps Keith discerned a shade of coldness in her
-tone, and was stirred by it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am sure I do not know,” he said with significant
-emphasis, “how long I can stand this condition of
-things. You must see, Anna, that I am losing ground
-from day to day. Look at my hands!” and he held
-out his left hand to her, clammy and cold, for all the
-yellow blaze, wasted and thin even to emaciation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna took the hand in hers, and caressed it with
-womanly gentleness, murmuring that it was too bad,
-and something must be done; he certainly was not properly
-nourished.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_293'>293</span>“Why, Anna,” the poor fellow cried, warmed by her
-compassion, “I would give all my ‘incomes from dreamland,’
-all the fine-spun theories of economic religion and
-social salvation that Gregory or any other idealist ever
-dreamed of, to be for just one day in our own dear old
-library, warmed all through, floor warm, walls warm—everything,
-you know; to see you, beautifully dressed
-again, at your own table, with its silver and damask; to
-have the service we always had; and once, just once,
-Anna—to have all the hot water I want for a bath!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna smiled, but forebore to speak. The echo of
-Mrs. Hanson’s wail was almost too much for her, and
-yet she pitied and understood. Pioneers must be made
-of sterner stuff, that was all; men who, like Emerson’s
-genius, should “learn to eat their meals standing, and to
-relish the taste of fair water and black bread.” Were
-there such men? She knew one. She almost began to
-doubt if there were any more. A few moments later
-she brought Keith a tray containing tea and toast, served
-with such little elegance as was possible, and with the
-daintiness of shining linen and silver.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“We must find a way for you to spend the winter
-in a different climate,” she said, as she stood beside him.
-She spoke very kindly, but with the inward sense of concession
-as of the stronger to the weaker. “You certainly
-cannot remain here if this ague continues.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith watched her gratefully, as she prepared to go
-out again, sure of some effective help when her strong
-determination was enlisted. The last six months had
-revealed his wife to him as six years had not done
-before. As she was about leaving, he said thoughtfully:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Anna, I am not the only one to be anxious about.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_294'>294</span>Perhaps you do not know it fully, but the whole scheme
-of Fraternia is on the edge of collapse.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How do you mean, dear?” she asked, alarmed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Through lack of funds. He says very little, but I
-can see that Gregory has practically reached the end of
-his resources and expectations.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna’s face showed her great concern.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I did not know it was so bad,” she answered.
-“Oh, Keith, would you not be willing to help out a
-little more? I know you have been wonderfully generous,
-but some one must come up to the point of real
-sacrifice and save the day. You could sell the Mill
-Street property, you know?” and the timid tone of her
-final question contrasted strangely with that in which
-she had begun speaking.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was the expression of Keith’s face which had
-dashed Anna’s confidence. She had never seen him
-look so much like his mother as when he replied.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No, my dear, I shall have to stand my ground,” he
-said, “and abide by the terms I first proposed. My
-mother’s estate is not to be sacrificed for this doubtful
-experiment. More than ever before I feel the problematic
-nature of Gregory’s scheme. We must provide
-for our own future as well as for his present crisis.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was hard, Anna felt, as she started out again alone
-into the wind and rain, not to reflect that, perhaps, the
-sooner the experiment proved a failure the better Keith
-would be satisfied. She struggled against a rising sense
-of anger which the separation of their interest from
-Gregory’s gave her, at the characteristic caution, the
-irritating prudence, the old familiar inflexibility, so like
-his mother. Keith’s decision chafed her all the more
-because something warned her, in her own despite, that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_295'>295</span>he was after all justified in it. But the contrast between
-his softness of yielding toward his own desires for luxury,
-and the hardness of his withholding from the bare
-needs of another, came just then into unfortunate juxtaposition.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The attitude of Keith toward Gregory was complex
-and peculiar. When in the immediate presence of this
-man he was brought under his personal influence to a
-degree which even Anna often found surprising. Gregory’s
-intensely masculine and forceful nature appeared
-to exert an almost irresistible control over the younger
-man so long as they were together. As soon, however,
-as Keith was removed from that immediate influence,
-he reverted at once to an attitude not only critical
-toward Gregory, but at times, and as if instinctively,
-antagonistic.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna went on her way down the valley to the cotton
-mill with a sore and heavy heart. On other days
-she could rejoice even in a leaden sky, in the muddy,
-sullen stream, in the stripped branches of the forest; but
-to-night, for twilight was falling now, all seemed clothed
-in that oppressive ugliness of Tennyson’s picture:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“When the rotten woodland drips,</div>
- <div class='line'>And the leaf is stamped in clay.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>Reaching the mill, dark and silent otherwise, she noted
-a light in Gregory’s office and the sound of voices, but
-the door was closed. She passed through the corridor
-to the small room beyond which was used as a dispensary.
-Pushing open the door she found the room empty;
-the young man whose charge it was seemed to have
-betaken himself otherwhere over early. However,
-Anna’s knowledge of drugs was not inconsiderable, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_296'>296</span>in this case she knew precisely what Keith needed
-and where to find it. So she proceeded without delay
-to place on the small polished counter which stretched
-across the narrow room, the necessary ingredients for
-a certain powder, and then carefully mixed these in the
-proportion called for by her simple prescription. While
-she was thus occupied she noticed with a sense of discomfort
-that the voices in the office, only divided from
-her now by a thin partition, grew louder and took on a
-disagreeable quality. Presently the door of the office
-was opened, and some one hastened from the building
-in evident impatience, leaving the door wide open.
-There was complete silence for a moment, and then
-Anna heard John Gregory speak. She could not fail
-to hear every word, although his voice was not raised,
-and its wonted quietness and courtesy were unchanged.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You will bear me witness, nevertheless, Mr. Hanson,”
-he said, “that I never promised an easy life for
-those who came with me to Fraternia. I declared
-plainly that simplicity and poverty and roughness were
-to be accepted as necessary conditions.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That is all very well,” a voice replied, which Anna
-recognized as that of the Burlington architect, whose
-wife had evidently been working upon him; “but
-when simplicity means starvation for delicate women
-and children, and poverty begins to look like bankruptcy,
-the situation strikes me as pretty serious. All
-I have to say is,” and the man’s voice rose to a pitch
-of high excitement, “you are the dictator here, and
-you are responsible; you’ve got us into this scrape, Mr.
-Gregory, by working upon our emotions, and all that,
-and now you’ve got to get us out of it, somehow!” and
-with these words Anna heard the speaker leave the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_297'>297</span>office with rapid steps, and a moment after the outer
-door of the mill closed upon him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had dropped the powders which she was dividing
-now into their papers, and had started to go to the
-door and close it that she might hear no more; but
-before she could do this a step in the corridor which
-she knew sent her back to her place with a beating
-heart, and in another instant John Gregory stood in
-the doorway.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had never seen his face changed by any mental
-agitation, nor was it now, save for a touch of weariness
-and an unwonted pallor. There was a deep, sunk glow
-in his eyes, which, together with the careless sweep of
-the grey hair flung off his forehead, recalled with peculiar
-emphasis the leonine effect Anna had often noticed.
-The habitual grave composure of his manner was in no
-way disturbed; and although he could not have known
-of her presence in the dispensary, it did not seem to
-cause him surprise.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Is some one ill at your house?” he asked with
-evident concern but characteristic abruptness. He was
-one of those few persons who do not find it necessary
-to explain what is self-evident.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Burgess is not very well,” Anna replied, hesitating
-somewhat, unwilling to strike another dart into
-the soreness of his spirit, which she felt distinctly, for
-all his outward firmness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I fear,” Gregory said thoughtfully, “that Mr. Burgess
-ought not to remain in Fraternia this winter. I am
-very much afraid that his health will suffer. Both of
-you deserve a little change,” he continued, with a slight
-smile, the pathos of which Anna felt sharply. “Fraternia
-is not so pleasant at this time of year. Why do you
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_298'>298</span>not go North for a few months? You would come back
-to us in the spring—perhaps?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The apparent carelessness which he wished to convey
-to this question contrasted strangely with the piercing
-anxiety of the look with which Gregory’s eyes searched
-Anna’s face. She understood the instinctive desire to
-forestall another attack, to take for granted an impending
-blow.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Quietly working at her powders, laughing a little, by
-sheer effort of will, since tears were near the surface, she
-replied:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I could not be spared, Mr. Gregory, this winter. I
-see you are a little disposed to undervalue my services.
-There are several cases of sickness now, and I am vain
-enough to think I am needed. Besides, you know, I
-love Fraternia. I do not want to go away from home.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The minor arts of coquetry were all unknown and
-foreign to Anna, but the genius of her woman’s nature
-and intuition was thrown into the last sentence with
-full effect.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The strong spirit of Gregory, which could meet the
-assaults and buffets of reproach and detraction without
-shrinking, and which would have rejected express sympathy,
-was mastered for a minute by the delicate comprehension
-and implied fidelity of Anna’s words.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She knew better than to see the momentary suspicion
-of dimness in his eyes, or to note the silence which for
-a little space he did not care to break. When at last
-he spoke, it was to ask, in a wholly matter-of-fact
-manner:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Have I not heard that Mr. Burgess was a particularly
-successful public speaker?” Anna looked up
-quickly then.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_299'>299</span>“You may have heard it, for I am sure it is true,”
-she said. Another pause for reflection, and then Gregory
-said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is becoming urgently necessary that the purpose
-and future of Fraternia should be promoted by some
-one capable of going about, particularly in the cities,
-and presenting our aims publicly—before audiences of
-people.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna had gathered up her powders now and put
-them in her pocket and stood ready to go but she
-stopped, and her face kindled with swift recognition
-and welcome of the thought in Gregory’s mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And you have thought that Mr. Burgess might do
-this, and so still serve the cause and yet do it for a
-while under easier conditions?” she exclaimed. “Mr.
-Gregory, I cannot tell you how glad I should be if this
-plan could be carried out. I am really a little anxious
-about my husband. I am sure this would work well for
-every one, and it might solve several problems at once.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He smiled, a little sadly, at her confident eagerness,
-said they must consider it seriously, and then stood
-aside to let her pass out and go home. It was not
-necessary for him to say, as he bade her good night, that
-he wished it were expedient for him to walk home with
-her. She understood his theory of what was wise for
-himself in such matters. She approved it. Nevertheless,
-she found it hard to leave him alone just then in
-the deserted mill. Half-way back she met Everett,
-plodding through the mud, with his hands in his pockets,
-and whistling, to keep his spirits up, she fancied.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Be extra good to Mr. Gregory to-night,” she said,
-womanlike, unable to resist the longing to help, as he
-paused a moment.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_300'>300</span>“Why?” he asked, frowning; “have they been at
-him again?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna nodded and passed on, afraid to say more.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Fools!” he murmured between his teeth, and
-plunged on against the wind.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But Anna went home with a beatific vision to soothe
-her spirit, of Keith comfortable at last in a good hotel,
-with menus and waiters, bells and bathrooms, in an
-infinite series.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_301'>301</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXXIII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line in20'>“Lo, fool,” he said, “ye talk</div>
- <div class='line'>Fool’s treason; is the king thy brother fool?”</div>
- <div class='line'>Then little Dagonet clapt his hands and shrill’d,</div>
- <div class='line'>“Ay, ay, my brother fool, the king of fools!</div>
- <div class='line'>Conceits himself as God that he can make</div>
- <div class='line'>Figs out of thistles, silk from bristles, milk</div>
- <div class='line'>From burning spurge, honey from hornet combs,</div>
- <div class='line'>And men from beasts—Long live the King of fools!”</div>
- <div class='line in44'>—<span class='sc'>Tennyson.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>But yours the cold heart and the murderous tongue,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>The wintry soul that hates to hear a song,</div>
- <div class='line in2'>The close-shut fist, the mean and measuring eye,</div>
- <div class='line'>And all the little poisoned ways of wrong.</div>
- <div class='line in42'>—<span class='sc'>The Rubaiyat.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>Everett had improvised a studio in a low loft over
-the bachelors’ quarters, contiguous to the cabin which he
-and Gregory shared.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was necessary, he said, for him to get down to
-hard work now. That hedging and ditching nonsense
-was great sport for a man’s holidays, but he had no
-more time to play; he must paint. The work he had
-produced in Fulham had not been, often, especially salable
-or popular in its character, a certain mystic quality
-pervading it not readily understood by casual observers.
-All that, he declared, was now to be rigidly excluded
-from his painting; he should paint to sell—cheap, pretty
-things, picturesque, palpable. With this purpose he
-had set to work with a will, and by February had a few
-hundred dollars to turn over to the treasury as the fruit
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_302'>302</span>of his industry. His pictures were sold in the North
-through Keith Burgess as intermediary.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He was hard at work in the studio at nine o’clock on
-a night in February, laying in the outline for a bit of the
-valley which he declared he could paint now with his
-eyes shut, he had done it so often, having found it “a
-good seller,” when he heard Gregory’s step on the stairs.
-That the boy had just brought the mail up from Spalding
-Everett knew, having heard the horse galloping over
-the bridge, and stopping before the house.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory came in now with several letters in his hand,
-one open. He did not speak at first, and Everett let
-him walk up and down the place undisturbed, seeing
-that he was peculiarly perplexed, probably by the open
-letter, which Everett noticed was in Keith Burgess’s
-handwriting. After a few moments he remarked slowly,
-but with an unusually incisive quality in his tone:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Burgess is a singularly prudent little man. Did it
-ever strike you so?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“He has some capacity, however, for the opposite
-quality.” Everett threw out this remark with no manifestation
-of especial interest, and it seemed to pass unnoticed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Having it in his power,” Gregory continued, with
-the same incisive deliberation, “to extricate us from our
-whole present difficulty himself, with the utmost ease,
-he yet jogs about the country after a comfortable fashion,
-presenting the subject publicly as occasion offers,
-and sends me back such letters as this.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Lifting the sheet in his hand, Gregory read from it:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I held a meeting last night in Grand Rapids, to
-which I have been working up carefully for over a week
-through the press, etc. The attendance was fair, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_303'>303</span>the people listened well. I regret, however, to be
-obliged to report that the practical results of the meeting
-were not all that we could have wished—” and
-dropping the letter, Gregory added:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And so on, copiously, through nearly four pages of
-matchless ambiguity and polite phrases, which could all
-have been condensed to the usual sum total of his reports;
-thus far, nothing!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Still, Mr. Gregory, we must remember that he did
-pretty well for the first few weeks.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” said Gregory, nodding a short assent, “while
-he was covering the field which was ready for harvest—seeing
-the men already committed to the cause. We
-can evidently expect nothing more from him. What
-kind of a speaker is he, Everett?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Good, really very good as a special pleader. He
-had very fair success when he was missionary secretary.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I wonder at it,” murmured Gregory,—“a mild,
-prudent little man like that with his perpetual fears and
-scruples; I cannot fancy his ever letting himself go.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everett, unwontedly sober and silent, worked on.
-Gregory paced the room for a little while. He wanted
-to ask Everett how Keith’s marriage with a woman like
-Anna could ever have come about, but he could not
-bring himself to frame the question, and presently left
-the studio.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Hanging about the door below, Gregory found Barnabas
-Rosenblatt, apparently waiting to speak with him.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Hello!” said Gregory, not unkindly, but shortly.
-“Do you want me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well, shust a minit, if Herr Gregory vas not too
-busy,” and the little Jew shuffled along by Gregory’s
-side until they reached the door of the cabin.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_304'>304</span>Gregory brought his visitor in and gave him a chair,
-then stirred up a smouldering fire and threw on a piece
-of pine, which, flaring up into a sudden blaze, made
-other light unnecessary. The reflection of the yellow
-flames played weirdly over the walls, and Barnabas
-seemed unable to withdraw his eyes from the picture
-above the chimney.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Our lady,” he said simply, nodding across at Gregory,
-and closing his eyes impressively.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well, Barnabas, what is it you want?” asked his host.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It’s our lady,” said Barnabas, sniffing quite vigorously;
-“das is it. How she fall off!” and he shook
-his head with a slow, mournful motion.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Fall off what? I do not understand, Barnabas.
-You are speaking of Sister Benigna?” Gregory’s face
-changed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“So—so—” and the little man nodded emphatically.
-“She’s got awful poor! Oh, my! Her bones
-comes right through zu next. My Kleine, she say our
-lady don’t eat notin’s, shust only leetle, leetle milk, an’
-work, work, work, like a holy angel everywheres at one
-time, up an’ down the valley; sick folks an’ well folks,
-all derselbe. Light come all place she come!” and
-Barnabas relapsed into meditative silence, having found
-his vocabulary hard tested by this prolonged statement.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you mean that Sister Benigna is sick?” asked
-Gregory, with slight sharpness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Ja, ja, Herr Gregory; she has went home sick
-heut’ abend from the sew class down to der mill.
-When she go, all go. Fraternia ohne Sister Benigna,”
-and the little man drew his shoulders quite up to his
-ears in a characteristic shrug strongly expressive of a
-thing unthinkable.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_305'>305</span>Gregory rose, Barnabas following his example.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I will go over and inquire,” he said, taking his hat,
-and they left the house at once.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The night was cold, a light fall of snow lay over the
-valley, and the stars glittered from a frosty sky.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When they reached the neighbourhood of Anna’s cottage
-Gregory sent Barnabas up to the door, while he
-waited at a little distance. In a few moments Frieda,
-who now shared Anna’s cabin, joined him, while Barnabas,
-with the action of a waiting watch-dog, humble,
-and yet with a due sense of responsibility, hung about
-near by. Frieda’s account was reassuring, as far as
-immediate solicitude for Anna was concerned; she had
-come home ill from the afternoon sewing class, and had
-a chill, headache, and fever. She was resting now, and
-would doubtless be up again in a day or two.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Nothing can keep her down, Mr. Gregory,” Frieda
-said in conclusion. “I am not frightened just now, but
-we all see plainly that Sister Benigna is killing herself
-by inches. She eats hardly anything, and yet works as
-if there were no limit to her strength. Sometimes I
-think she is just laying down her very life for us here in
-Fraternia, and we’re not worth it,” and with this Frieda’s
-voice broke a little, and without stopping to say more
-she hurried back.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory bade Barnabas good night hastily, and then,
-instead of going home, he walked rapidly down the
-rough road to the mill, unlocked the door, and went into
-his office and sat down at his desk. His face had
-changed strangely; it had grown grey and his lips were
-tightly compressed. He sat long in motionless silence,
-thinking intensely. Although he had himself watched
-Anna with growing uneasiness, the suggestions of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_306'>306</span>Frieda and Barnabas came upon him with startling effect.
-He asked himself now with unsparing definiteness
-whether this was indeed the final turn of the wheel of
-torture on which he was bound, or whether he could
-wait for another. The conviction was upon him, stark
-and stern, that in the end he should yield and seek the
-one means of escape which was still open to him, and
-which he had been holding off with almost dogged resolution.
-He recalled the shaping of events in Anna’s
-life during the last few months, and his face softened.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Late in November, when Keith went North, she had
-accompanied him, having been sent for by her sister
-Lucia. Their mother, Gulielma Mallison, upon whom
-age and infirmity had increased heavily, had conceived
-a controlling desire to return to her childhood home,
-the Moravian town of Bethlehem, to end her days.
-Anna had visited Haran therefore, and had brought her
-mother back to her early home, establishing her there in
-the quiet Widows’ House in peace and satisfaction.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>At Christmas, when she returned alone to Fraternia,
-Anna had seemed to bring with her a new infusion of
-active and aggressive force. Relieved of anxiety for
-Keith, whom she had left in good spirits, and from the
-constant ministration to his comfort, she was now wholly
-free to devote herself to the common good. With new
-and contagious ardour she had thrown herself therefore
-into the life of the discouraged little community, cheering
-the faint-hearted and rekindling the flagging purposes
-of the fickle. She taught the girls and women
-quaint fashions of embroidery and work on linen which
-she had learned from her mother, and inspired them
-with the ambition to earn something with their needles,
-thus dispelling their listlessness. She seemed at times
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_307'>307</span>to possess in her own enthusiasm and courage sufficient
-motive power to energize them all; she worked and
-moved among them as if no less a task had been given
-her, and with a sweetness and sympathy that never
-failed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>All who watched her wondered at the power in her,
-and many who had murmured hitherto now declared
-themselves ashamed, and responded willingly. John
-Gregory marvelled more and more at the qualities of brilliant
-leadership which she now developed. Within him
-a voice, which he could not always silence, sometimes
-whispered that if such a nature as that which had been
-gradually revealed to him in Anna Burgess, in its plenitude
-of power and its greatness of purpose, could have
-been allied to his own, a movement far beyond what he
-had even dreamed of in Fraternia might have been
-possible.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But while a certain reënforcement of courage had
-followed Anna’s strong initiative, and while in some
-respects the domestic conditions of the people had been
-improved and their murmurings for the time partially
-silenced, the gravity of the situation and of the prospects
-for the future as Gregory saw them remained unchanged.
-Keith’s mission had proved unproductive, as the letter
-just received emphasized afresh. Gregory himself could
-not leave Fraternia at this juncture without manifest
-peril. Only his personal influence now availed to hold
-together many discordant elements which were very
-actively at work and arrayed against each other. From
-no quarter could he discern any hope of substantial
-support.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>And now, last of all, she was laid low; worse, they
-told him she was laying down her life in her devotion
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_308'>308</span>to his cause—she, his one high-hearted, intrepid,
-dauntless ally! Bitterly Gregory said to himself that
-she who had freely left wealth and station was starving
-and working to her death to save him from defeat, and
-all in vain, unless—Should he calmly sit by and
-permit the sacrifice? Great of heart as she was, all her
-work could not avail, nor his, unless aid of another
-kind could be found, and that at once.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>And it could be found; of that he had little doubt.
-To find it he must, indeed, make a certain compromise,
-but it was one which involved only himself, his own position,—perhaps,
-after all, only his own pride. Had he
-not himself preached against the subtle selfishness which
-underlies the passion for individual perfection? Did not
-the common good and the larger interests of his cause
-call for the sacrifice?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory rose at last and went to the outer door of
-the mill. It was five o’clock of the February morning,
-and off to the east a faint yellowish light was climbing
-up the sky. The mill pond lay dead in its stillness
-below him; the water fell quietly, stilled with ice, over
-the dam; the valley stretched out white and cold; a
-mile below was the black belt of the forest, and beyond,
-the dim plain, with the stars shining over. It was pure
-and cold and pitiless. In sky or earth no sign of relenting,
-no suggestion of a gentler day. But Gregory was
-not looking for signs, or reckoning with omens, save
-the omen which had come unasked and taken up its
-abode in his mind. He was thinking, not of the scene
-before him, nor of the sleeping village behind, nor even
-of the outline of the future, nor of Anna in her pain
-and patience.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>An old story was repeating itself within him of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_309'>309</span>ancient king to whom the sibyl came bringing nine
-books, which, being offered, he rejected; and of how, in
-the end, it had been the fate of the king to desire the
-three which alone were left, and to obtain them at a
-threefold price.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Presently the door of the mill was closed, and Gregory
-returned to his desk. There was sternness in his
-face as he set about writing a letter, and self-disdain
-and humiliation; but he wrote on, and finished the letter,
-which he signed and sealed. Then, without further
-hesitation or pause, he crossed the road to the mill
-stables, brought out and saddled his own horse, a tall
-roan, fit to carry a man of his proportions, mounted it,
-and rode away down the valley toward Spalding. The
-letter which he chose to mail with his own hand was
-addressed to Senator Ingraham, and it stated briefly that
-the writer had come to the conclusion that his rejection
-of the generous gift offered him on a certain night known
-to them both was ill advised, and that if the same or
-any part of it were offered him now for the furtherance
-of his coöperative work, it would not be refused.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A week passed, and Anna, protesting that she was as
-well as ever, had returned to her regular round of cares.
-The only change in her appearance was a peculiar
-whiteness of the tints of her skin, such that her face at
-times seemed actually to emit light. The contrast of
-this whiteness of tint with the masses of her dull, dark
-hair and the large, clear eyes, full of the changing lights
-which lurk in hazel eyes, gave her at this time a startling
-beauty, startling because it suggested evanescence.
-Most marked, Fraternia people said, was this phase of
-Anna’s appearance on a night near the end of another
-week, when a large company was gathered in the hall
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_310'>310</span>over the mill for an entertainment. Anna had been
-much interested through the winter in a series of
-author’s evenings, and this chanced to be the occasion
-for the closing programme of the series. The subject
-was Lowell, and prose had been read and poetry declaimed;
-the changes rung on all,—humorous, pathetic,
-and patriotic. The little hall was full and the audience
-eager for the closing number, because it was to be given
-by Anna herself, who had a charming gift in rendering
-poetry.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She had chosen a number of passages from the “Commemoration
-Ode,” and as she stood on the platform with
-its dark crimson background and drapery, dressed, as
-she was habitually when indoors, in white, her eyes
-kindling as she spoke the noble words of the noblest
-American poem, the audience watched her face with an
-attention even closer than that with which they listened
-to her voice. This, indeed, showed a slight weakness,
-but the eloquence and energy of her spirit subdued it to
-a deeper pathos, while its impressiveness was most
-marked when she reached the close of the fifth strophe,
-every word of which to her meant John Gregory:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line in8'>“But then to stand beside her,</div>
- <div class='line in8'>When craven churls deride her,</div>
- <div class='line'>To front a lie in arms and never yield,</div>
- <div class='line in8'>This shows, methinks, God’s plan</div>
- <div class='line in8'>And measure of a stalwart man,</div>
- <div class='line in8'>Limbed like the old, heroic breeds,</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>       ·       ·       ·       ·       ·</div>
- </div>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Fed from within with all the strength he needs.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>She was half-way through the lines when a striking
-and incomprehensible change passed over her. Her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_311'>311</span>eyes dilated, then drooped, her breath almost forsook
-her, and her quiet hands clasped each other hard. She
-continued to speak, but her voice had lost its tone and
-timbre. Almost mechanically she kept on to the close
-of the part she had selected, but those who loved her
-feared to see her fall before the end. When she reached
-the room behind the stage, the faithful Frieda was waiting
-to receive her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>What had happened? Was it merely that Sister
-Benigna was still weak from her illness? As they
-broke up, these questions were repeatedly asked among
-the people. Some of them called attention to the fact
-that while she was speaking a stranger had tiptoed into
-the hall so noiselessly that only a few persons had been
-aware of his coming, but he was a man of so singular
-a physiognomy and an expression so repellent that a
-vague connection was felt to link Anna’s agitation with
-his appearance.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>This man was Oliver Ingraham.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna, with Frieda, hurrying out of the mill alone
-into the blackness of the starless and stormy night,
-and turning homeward, heard steps approaching, heavy
-and hard. Some one passed them. Anna knew only
-by the great height and breadth of shoulder, dimly
-discerned through the dark, that it was Gregory. She
-stopped, and he turned, catching a glimpse of her white
-face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Gregory,” she said, “Oliver Ingraham is here.
-What can it mean?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Here already!” he cried almost harshly. “I have
-only this moment received a despatch!” and he hastened
-forward, as if he might yet interpose some obstacle to
-this most unwelcome arrival.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_312'>312</span>The words in the despatch, crumpled fiercely and
-thrust into Gregory’s pocket, were these:—</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>“My son will be the bearer of the funds required.
-Trust you will give him the opportunity he desires for
-study of social problems.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r c013'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“<span class='sc'>Ingraham.</span>”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was the first word of reply to his letter which Gregory
-had received, and it was a word which made him
-set hard his teeth and groan like a wounded lion.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Perhaps it is fair,” he said to himself, as he crossed
-the bridge; “but Ingraham’s Nemesis as the price is a
-higher one than even I expected.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Above, in the mill hall, Oliver was mingling with the
-people who were in the habit of remaining together for
-an hour of social interchange after the programme, on
-these occasions. He quickly found his old townsman,
-Mr. Hanson, who seemed more amazed than rejoiced to
-greet him in Fraternia.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Stopped over, eh, to see our village?” he asked.
-“On your way North, I suppose?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, no,” said Oliver, smiling complacently; “I
-have come straight from home. I have a commission
-for your czar from my father, and I rather look to throwing
-in my fortunes with you folks. I want to see how
-this experiment works; study it, you know, on all
-sides. If I like it, I guess I shall stay.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, really,” said Hanson, a little aghast.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How are you getting on, anyway?” proceeded
-Oliver, craftily. “Rose-colour washed off yet? Has it
-been pretty idyllic this winter? Say, I should think
-catering for a crowd up in this valley would be quite a
-job. Don’t get salads and ices every day, I take it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_313'>313</span>Hanson shook his head impatiently, longing to get
-away from the questioner.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well,” said Oliver, “I suppose by this time Gregory
-the Great has issued his edicts and made all the
-poor people rich, hasn’t he? and all the rich people
-poor? That seems to be the method of evening up. I
-don’t wonder the poor fellows like it. Should think
-they would.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You will know better about us when you have been
-here awhile, Mr. Ingraham.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Oliver nodded cheerfully. “Oh, yes, of course. I am
-going to take notes, you see. Perhaps I’ll write it up
-by and by,” and he tapped the neat note-book which
-protruded from a pocket of his coat. “Are all the
-sinners saints by this time?” he added.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Hardly.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well, then, we’ll put it the other way,” said Oliver,
-with a peculiar significance in his high voice, “are the
-saints all sinners yet?” The malicious leer with which
-this question was accompanied seemed to turn it into
-a hateful insinuation, which Hanson, with all his half-suppressed
-discontent, resented hotly. He was about to
-make a hasty reply when Gregory came up and spoke
-to Oliver, to whom he held out his hand. His manner
-was as cold as could be with decent courtesy, and when
-Oliver had shaken his hand he passed his handkerchief
-over it with the impulse a man has after touching a slug
-or a snake.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Oliver noticed the gesture, and rubbed his long white
-hands together reflectively.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_314'>314</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXXIV</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Look in my face; my name is Might-have-been;</div>
- <div class='line in2'>I am also called No-more, Too-late, Farewell;</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Unto thine ear I hold the dead sea-shell</div>
- <div class='line'>Cast up thy Life’s foam-fretted feet between;</div>
- <div class='line'>Unto thine eyes the glass where that is seen</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Which had Life’s form and Love’s, but by my spell</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Is now a shaken shadow intolerable,</div>
- <div class='line'>Of ultimate things unuttered, the frail screen.</div>
- <div class='line in2'>Mark me, how still I am!</div>
- <div class='line in40'>—<span class='sc'>D. G. Rossetti.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>It was mid-April and the afternoon of a day of perfect
-weather, of summer rather than spring.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The hills around Fraternia were covered now in sheets
-of flame-colour, white and rose, from the blossoming of
-the wild azalea and laurel. The air was laden with
-perfume and flooded with sunshine.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was at the close of the afternoon school when
-Anna, a company of the children with her, started to
-climb the eastern hill which rose a little beyond the
-mill pond, to gather flowers.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory, from the open window of his office in the
-mill, watched the pretty troop as they threaded their
-way up the steep path and were soon lost to sight in the
-woods. He heard them speak of Eagle Rock as the goal
-of their expedition,—a favourite point of view, less than
-a mile to walk, and nearly on the crest of the hills.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna was dressed in the coarse white cotton of Fraternia
-manufacture which was the usual dress of the girls
-and women of the village in the house and out in dry,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_315'>315</span>warm weather, simply made, easily laundered, cleanly,
-and becoming. Her tall figure, the last to disappear up
-the woodland path, had attracted the eyes of another, as
-well as of John Gregory.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Oliver Ingraham, in these two months grown an all-too-familiar
-figure in Fraternia, finding his way stealthily
-and untiringly to every favourite nook and corner of the
-valley, had also watched the start from some lurking-place.
-It was half an hour later when Gregory noticed
-him sauntering casually along the foot of the hill, and
-with an air of indifference striking into the same path
-which Anna and the children had taken. Gregory
-watched him a moment fixedly, his eyebrows knit together,
-and he bit his lip with impatience and disgust.
-Of late Oliver had shown an ominous propensity to
-haunt Anna, whose dislike of his presence amounted
-well-nigh to terror. More than once Gregory’s watchful
-eyes, which never left Oliver’s movements long unnoted,
-had observed attempts on his part to follow or to
-overtake her, to seek her out and attach himself to her.
-Invariably Oliver found himself foiled in these attempts,
-although he had no means of attributing the interference
-to Gregory. Thus far the intervention had been
-accomplished almost unnoticeably, but none the less
-effectively.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The afternoon was a busy one for Gregory. The
-mill, no longer silent and deserted, was running now on
-full time; and, to the great satisfaction of a majority
-of the colonists, Gregory had withdrawn his scruples
-against selling the products of their manufacture at a
-reasonable profit. He was finding it easier and easier
-to compromise with his initial scruples. It had also
-become more imperative to try to meet, in so far as
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_316'>316</span>was reasonable, the demands of the people, since already
-Fraternia had suffered serious defections. A number of
-substantial families had withdrawn earlier in the spring,
-among them the Hansons and the Taylors, who had
-taken the pretty Fräulein Frieda with them, to Anna’s
-great regret. Others talked of leaving, and, in spite of
-the greater financial easiness, criticism and jealousy were
-at work in the little company at first so united. The
-almost insuperable difficulties attending the experiment
-had now fully declared themselves.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>However, there was plenty of work to do, which was
-a material relief. Gregory glanced now at the pile of
-papers before him on his desk, and then once more
-through the window at the figure of Oliver, receding up
-the hill. No, he could not run the risk of allowing
-him to overtake and annoy Anna. The work must
-wait. Taking his hat, he left the mill hastily; but, instead
-of choosing the path behind Oliver, Gregory
-turned and went up the valley a little distance, struck
-through behind the houses, crossed a bit of boggy ground
-which lay at the foot of the hill in this part of the valley,
-and so mounted the hill below Eagle Rock in a line to
-intercept Oliver before he could overtake Anna, if such
-were his purpose.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was no path up this side of the hill, but Gregory
-found no trouble in striding through the deep underbrush
-which would have swamped the women and
-children completely. Soon he reached a point from
-which he commanded a sight of Eagle Rock, and a
-glance showed him the fluttering dresses of the children
-already on its summit. In another moment he dashed
-up on a sharp climb, for the hill was very steep at this
-point, and reached the path only a short distance from
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_317'>317</span>the base of the rock. He looked up, but no one was in
-sight; then down the path, and in a moment Oliver
-came into view walking much more rapidly than fifteen
-minutes before, when he had entered the woods. He
-slackened his pace as he caught sight of Gregory slowly
-approaching down the path, and sought to hide a very
-evident discomfiture with his evil smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You got up here in pretty good time, didn’t you,
-Mr. Gregory?” he asked, as he reached him. “I saw
-you, seems to me, in your office when I came along.
-I’ve taken my time, you see. A beautiful day for a
-walk.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Oliver’s small green-grey eyes twinkled wickedly as
-he spoke these apparently harmless words, for he saw,
-or felt, that beneath every one of them Gregory’s anger,
-roused at last, reached a higher pitch. Oliver perfectly
-understood what he was here for.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have a word to say to you,” said Gregory, stormily.
-“You will have to stop haunting the women and children,
-and annoying them with your attentions. I speak
-perfectly plainly, Mr. Ingraham; they are not agreeable
-and they must be stopped.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You rule with a rod of iron here, Gregory,” said
-Oliver, his long fingers twining together; “what you
-say goes. Still, you know, you might go a little too
-far.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory did not reply, but stood watching him as a
-lion might watch a reptile.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am willing to stay in Fraternia, under favourable
-conditions,” Oliver proceeded, with hideous cunning;
-“but I should think, as I am paying pretty well for my
-accommodations, I ought, at least, to get the liberty of
-the grounds. What do you say?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_318'>318</span>“I say, Go, this minute, or I’ll throw you neck
-and crop down that bank,” said Gregory, with unmistakable
-sincerity, at which Oliver, suddenly cowed, and his
-weak legs trembling under him, faced about promptly
-and retreated down the path. He paused at a safe distance,
-while Gregory’s hands tingled to collar him, and
-called back, in a loud, confidential whisper:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You can have her all to yourself this time. That’s
-all right,” and with this he hurried off, his thin lips
-writhing in a malicious smile, and his hands clenched
-tightly and cruelly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>For a moment Gregory stood still in the path. A
-dark flush had mounted slowly even to his forehead.
-He was irresolute whether to follow and find Anna, or
-to return directly to the valley. Something in Oliver’s
-ugly taunt acted like a challenge upon him, it seemed,
-for, turning, and catching through the trees the glimmer
-of Anna’s white dress, he hastened on up the path.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He found her sitting on a mossy rock at the foot of
-the cliff, where there were trees and shade and a fair
-view of the valley, and the blue billowing sea of the
-mountain ranges beyond. Her strength and colour had
-returned with the out-door life of the spring, and she
-looked to-day the embodiment of radiant health.
-Greatly astonished at Gregory’s appearance, she yet
-welcomed it with unaffected gladness, starting to rise
-from her low seat with the impulses of social observance
-which she could not quite outgrow even in the wilderness;
-but he motioned to her to sit still. All around
-her the children had flung their branches of laurel and
-azalea, running off to gather more and bring her, and the
-delicate suffusion of colour made an exquisite background
-to the picture. The picture itself, Gregory thought,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_319'>319</span>Everett ought to have painted for a Madonna; for in
-Anna’s lap leaned a sturdy, fair-haired boy, with a cherub
-face, a child of less than four years, his head thrust back
-against her shoulder as he looked out from that vantage
-ground with serene eyes at Gregory, while Anna held
-one round little hand in hers and looked down upon the
-child with all the wistful fondness of unfulfilled maternal
-love.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do not smile,” said Gregory, with affected sternness
-at last, as she glanced up from the child to him
-with a questioning smile, expecting some explanation
-for his presence here; “I have come this time to scold
-you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“O dear!” said Anna, with a gay little laugh of surprise.
-“My turn has come!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, your turn has come,” he continued gravely.
-“Do you not know that when you come away on such
-long, lonely climbs as this, even with the children, you
-give us anxiety for you, and trouble? I have had to
-come all this distance to take care of you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna shook her head, much more puzzled than
-penitent.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What is there to be troubled about?” she cried.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory did not answer at once. He found it impossible
-to make mention of Oliver in her presence.
-He fixed his eyes on the little child, who was on his
-knees now, by Anna’s side, pouring out into her white
-dress a small handful of scarlet berries, and letting
-them run like jewels through his fingers, laughing to
-see them roll.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you not know,” he began again, very slowly,
-“that we fear for your strength, for your endurance,
-upon which you will never, yourself, have mercy?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_320'>320</span>Anna began to protest a little, her colour deepening at
-some vague change in his tone and manner.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you not know,” he continued, not heeding her
-interruption, “that you are the very heart of our life,
-here in Fraternia? that we all turn to you for our
-inspiration, our hope, our ideal? Should we not
-guard you, since without you we all should fade and
-fail?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Never before had Anna heard this cadence of tenderness
-in Gregory’s voice, nor in the voice of man or
-woman; the whole strength of his protecting manhood,
-of his high reverence and his strong heart, was in it,
-but there was something more. What was it? A
-tremor ran through Anna’s heart. Could she dare to
-know? She lifted her eyes at last to meet his look, and
-what she read was what she had never dreamed of,
-never feared nor hoped—the supreme human love which
-a man can know. Reading this, she did not fear nor
-faint nor draw her own look away, but rather her eyes
-met his, full of awe and solemn joy; for at last, in that
-moment, her own heart was revealed to itself.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“O Anna!—O Benigna!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory spoke at last, or rather it seemed as if the
-whole deep heart of the man breathed out its life on
-the syllables of those two names.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In the silence which followed Anna sat quite quiet
-in her place, the sun and the soft shadows of the young
-oak leaves playing over her face and figure. The child
-still tossed his red berries with ripples of gleeful laughter
-over the whiteness of her dress, and not far away could
-be heard the busy voices of the older children as they
-ruthlessly broke away the blossoms from their stems.
-And in the sun and shade and the stillness Anna sat,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_321'>321</span>while wave after wave of incredible joy broke over her
-spirit. For the first time in her life she knew love,
-knowing it for what it was. She had not asked to
-know it, nor mourned that she had missed its full
-measure, nor dreamed that it could yet be hers; but
-it had come, not stayed by bonds nor stopped by vows.
-It was here! The man whose strong spirit, in its
-freedom and power, had cast its spell upon her mysteriously
-even before she had seen his face save in a dream,
-loved her, with eyes to look like that upon her and that
-mighty tenderness! Life was fulfilled. Let death come
-now. It was enough!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The moment, being supreme in its way, was not one
-to leave room for outward excitement, for flutter and
-trepidation. Anna rose now from her place with perfect
-calmness, and bent to take the little, laughing child
-by the hand, while she went to call the others together.
-Gregory had turned away slightly, and with his arms
-crossed over his breast was leaning hard against the
-rugged wall of the cliff, his head thrown back against
-it, his face set, his whole aspect as of some granite
-figure of heroic mould, carved there in relief. Anna
-heard a sound like a groan break from his lips, and
-turning back, with an irresistible impulse, laid her hand,
-light as a leaf, upon his arm.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>From head to foot Gregory trembled then.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Don’t,” he said sternly, under his breath.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“What is it?” asked Anna, confused at his sudden
-harshness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is the end,” he said, with low distinctness and the
-emphasis of finality.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then, only then, did Anna waken to perceive that
-what in that brief moment of joy she had taken for
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_322'>322</span>glory, was only shame and loss and undoing, unless
-smothered at the birth.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>An inarticulate cry broke from her then, so poignant,
-although low, that the little child, pulling at her dress,
-began to cry piteously. She stooped to comfort him,
-gave him again the hand which she had laid on Gregory’s
-arm, then, turning, walked slowly away.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory made no motion to detain her or to follow,
-but stood as she left him, braced against the rock. Anna
-gathered her little flock, and they hastened down the hill
-in a gay procession, with the waving branches of April
-bloom, and the merry voices of the children. Only
-Sister Benigna, as she walked among them, little Judith
-noticed, was white and still.</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_323'>323</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXXV</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Then fell thick rain, plume droopt and mantle clung,</div>
- <div class='line'>And pettish cries awoke, and the wan day</div>
- <div class='line'>Went glooming down in wet and weariness;</div>
- <div class='line'>But under her black brows a swarthy one</div>
- <div class='line'>Laugh’d shrilly, crying: “Praise the patient saints,</div>
- <div class='line'>Our one white day of Innocence hath past,</div>
- <div class='line'>Though somewhat draggled at the skirt. So be it.”</div>
- <div class='line in46'>—<span class='sc'>Tennyson.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>At nine o’clock that evening Barnabas Rosenblatt,
-working around the mill stables, was startled at the sudden
-appearance of Gregory, who passed him without
-speaking, as he went hurriedly into the stall and brought
-out his horse. The day had been followed by a night
-of brilliant moonlight, and Barnabas saw, as distinctly as
-if it had been day, that his face, usually firm and composed,
-was drawn and haggard to a degree. He started
-to speak to him, but an imperious gesture of Gregory
-silenced him. Without a word Barnabas therefore assisted
-him in saddling the horse, and then stood perplexed
-as he watched him gallop away down the valley in the
-moonlight.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Straight on through a narrow bridle-path which led
-by a short cut through the stretch of oak wood to the
-little hamlet of Spalding, Gregory galloped. He had
-reached the outskirts of the woods, and was in sight of
-the level meadows and the cluster of lights of the village
-beyond, when he suddenly perceived the figure of a man
-on foot approaching him from the direction of Spalding.
-A few steps more, and Gregory saw, with surprise and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_324'>324</span>strange perturbation, that it was Keith Burgess. He
-reined up his horse and stood motionless, until Keith had
-reached him, and called out a greeting as he stood in the
-path, looking a pigmy beside the Titanic proportions of
-the horse and rider. The moonlight showed Keith more
-thin and wan than ever. He had returned to Fraternia
-once before this spring, in March, but, after a week, had
-been glad to go back to Baltimore, with some rather
-vague commission. His return at this time was wholly
-unexpected, even by Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith had long since come to stand to Gregory for
-something like a concrete embodiment of his many
-disappointments and vexations, by reason of his lukewarm
-participation in his own purposes, his ineffective
-labours, and his continual draft upon Anna’s sympathies.
-As Gregory looked down upon him, thrown at this
-moment so unexpectedly in his path, a singular hardness
-toward the man came upon him, for he was hard beset by
-passion; and while he meant to have no mercy upon
-himself, he was not in the mood to have mercy upon
-another man, least of all, perhaps, upon Keith.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You are going back to Fraternia?” he asked coldly,
-his tone striking Keith with chill surprise. The latter
-assented as a matter of course.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a moment of silence; Keith felt something
-sinister in the nature of it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why should you go back there?” Gregory asked
-now, with the same careless coldness; “you have no
-heart in Fraternia or its purposes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith was stirred, and answered pointedly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have at least a wife in Fraternia, Mr. Gregory.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory looked at him a moment with a measuring
-glance, noting his wasted and feeble appearance.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_325'>325</span>“I suppose you do need nursing,” he said slowly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith Burgess turned ashy pale. Was this wanton
-injury? Did Gregory wish to insult him? What did
-it mean? Gregory did not know himself. He knew
-only that, in the agony of that night, for he had fully
-resolved himself to see Anna no more, the sight of
-Keith Burgess worked like madness in his brain.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mrs. Burgess,” he said now, with the deliberation
-of strongly suppressed excitement, “is more highly endowed
-for great issues than any person I have ever
-known. It is almost a pity that she should not have
-freedom to use her powers in the greater activities to
-which she is fitted.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Each sentence, cruel with all the cruelty which the
-climax of pride and passion could inspire, pierced the
-heart of Keith like a shaft barbed with steel. He stepped
-backward and leaned against a tree, breathing hard.
-The occult, mysterious quality of the moment’s experience
-to him was that he saw himself, distinctly and as if
-by an inexorable necessity, turning away from Fraternia,
-and going back by the way which he had come.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Without another word, Gregory tightened his rein
-and galloped on, out through the wood’s edge and so
-down to the plain. He did not see, in the high excitement
-of the moment, the figure of a man lurking stealthily
-among the trees at no great distance from where
-Keith stood. When the sound of the horse’s hoofs had
-died away, this figure stepped softly out from its shelter
-and passed along the bridle-path, peering inquisitively in
-the face of Keith as he still stood where Gregory had
-left him. But neither did Keith observe him, nor
-care who he was, and so he went on his way toward
-Fraternia. He looked back once or twice. His last
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_326'>326</span>look showed him that Keith had gathered himself together
-and was walking slowly away, in the direction
-from which he had come.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Keith walked blindly on, not knowing why he went,
-nor where he went, like a man who has suffered a heavy
-blow upon his brain, and moves only automatically without
-thought or will. On the outskirts of the village,
-near the railroad, he passed a barn, rickety and disused,
-but there was old hay in a heap on the floor of it, it
-offered shelter, and shelter without the contact with
-others from which he shrunk as if he were in disgrace,
-and fleeing for his life. Accordingly Keith went
-into this place, drawing the broken door together as far
-as he could move it on its rusty hinges, threw himself
-on the heap of hay, and slept until five o’clock in the
-morning. The one passenger train of the day passing
-through Spalding eastward was due at five o’clock.
-Keith was wakened by the long whistle announcing
-its approach, and came dizzily out into the chill and
-wet of a miserable morning.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The train slowed down as it neared the place where
-he stood. He swung himself upon it with the brief but
-tense nervous energy of great exhaustion, sank into a
-vacant seat in the foul, unventilated car, and was carried
-on, whither he did not know or care.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna, coming back from the walk to Eagle Rock,
-had gone to her own house alone. Here she spent the
-earlier hours of the evening in the deepest travail of soul
-she had ever known. The purity and unworldliness of
-all her life, both the life of her girlhood and that with
-Keith, had served to keep far from her familiarity with
-possibilities of moral danger. She was as innocent of
-certain kinds of evil as a child, and the thought that a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_327'>327</span>temptation to a guilty love could assault her would,
-until this day, have appeared to her incredible. And
-now, in the fierce struggle of this passion, the only one
-she had ever known, she knew herself not only capable
-of sin, but caught at last in its power.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Not that for a moment she dreamed of any compromise
-of outward fidelity; such a thought she rejected
-with horror as inconceivable either to herself or to
-Gregory, whom she firmly believed to be far stronger
-than she. But the flaw in faithfulness had come
-already, beyond recall, beyond repair. Her whole soul
-moved toward this man, who had so long secretly dominated
-her inner life, with a mighty and overwhelming
-tide.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Her relation to Keith had been that of gentlest consideration,
-kindliness, and affection. More it had never
-been; and to-night it seemed as powerless to stay the
-flood of passion as a wall of sand built on the shore of
-an infinite sea by the hands of a child.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>So Anna thought, so she felt. She went to the door
-of her cabin with this thought mastering her, driven by
-restlessness, and longing to feel the coolness of the night
-air on her face. For a moment she stood in her open
-door, and saw mechanically that the moonlight was shed
-abroad in the valley; she heard the voices of the men
-across the river singing in a strong, sweet chorus.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then, suddenly, as if the words had been spoken in
-her ear, the thought came to her, “But Keith needs me;
-he needs me now!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>What was it? She did not know. She never understood.
-The sense was strong upon her that Keith was
-near her; that he was in some danger, and needed her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Without pause to consider what she did, Anna flew
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_328'>328</span>down the river path and reached the mill breathless.
-The pond lay in the moonlight, motionless. The air
-did not stir. The mill was still and dark and deserted.
-The woods were dim with their night mystery. She
-looked down the valley, and up, and across the river,
-and everywhere was perfect peace, save in her own
-heart. Then in the silence she heard a step approaching
-from the direction of the woods below. She drew
-back hastily into the protection of the mill porch and
-waited for the steps to pass. Whoever it was paused
-for a little time above the mill, and Anna’s heart beat
-hard with a sense of dread and danger. Finally she
-heard the steps pass on, and when she returned to the
-road she recognized the unmistakable figure of the man
-now moving on in the unshadowed moonlight to the
-bridge above. It was Oliver Ingraham.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Slowly Anna returned to her own cottage, not daring
-to do otherwise, a heavy oppression on her heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Early in the morning, which was cold and rainy,
-Oliver was at her door, and she answered his summons
-herself, full of a vague, trembling anxiety. He scanned
-her face narrowly; it was careworn and hollow-eyed,
-for she had slept not at all.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In silence he handed her a letter, broken at the edges,
-and soiled with long carrying about. She glanced at
-the address. It was Keith’s, written by herself perhaps
-a month before; not a recent letter. She looked at
-Oliver in speechless perplexity.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I found that lying on the ground down near Spalding
-last night,” he said, still eying her craftily, and with
-that hurried off, giving her not another word.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna went in, closed the door, and drew out the
-letter. It was unimportant, insignificant, simply an
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_329'>329</span>ordinary letter of wifely affection and solicitude, but one
-which had evidently been much read, being worn on the
-folds. Who could have carried it save Keith himself?
-Had he, then, been really near her the night before?
-Was he really coming?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna knew already that it was for this she longed
-supremely.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Noon brought to Everett a special messenger with
-a letter from Gregory, who brought with him also the
-roan horse ridden the night before to the county
-town, C——, and evidently ridden fiercely. At C——
-was the bank where Gregory transacted all his business.
-This letter stated, first of all, that he had suddenly
-reached the conclusion that it was important and imperative
-that he should go at once to England in the
-interests of the colony. He should not return to Fraternia
-before sailing. He wished to empower Everett
-to act in his place during his absence, which would not
-be for more than three months.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Various items of business were enumerated, and the
-letter closed with this remarkable statement: “The
-funds furnished by Mr. Ingraham of Burlington have
-been returned to him with the exception of the five
-thousand dollars already used, which I shall restore at
-my earliest opportunity. This removes the obligation
-from us of counting Mr. Oliver Ingraham as one of our
-number, and I beg that you will signify to him my
-conviction that his continued presence in Fraternia is
-impossible. Do not allow him to stay a day if you can
-help yourself, and keep him under your eye while he
-remains.”</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_330'>330</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXXVI</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line in18'>I said farewell;</div>
- <div class='line'>I stepped across the cracking earth and knew</div>
- <div class='line'>’Twould yawn behind me. I must walk right on,</div>
- <div class='line in10'>... Fate has carried me</div>
- <div class='line'>’Mid the thick arrows; I will keep my stand,</div>
- <div class='line'>Not shrink and let the shaft pass by my breast</div>
- <div class='line'>To pierce another: oh, ’tis written large</div>
- <div class='line in10'>The thing I have to do.</div>
- <div class='line in34'>—<span class='sc'>George Eliot.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>The following morning Anna sent for Oliver.
-Word had reached her that he was about to leave
-Fraternia. In the depth of her present distress and
-perplexity a thought which “had no form, a suffering
-which had no tongue” had arisen. Gregory, she
-knew, had left the village hastily that night under stress
-of powerful emotion, perhaps in a condition of mental
-excitement exceeding his own control. It seemed to
-her possible that somewhere on the way from Fraternia
-to Spalding he might have encountered Keith. The
-letter brought by Oliver indicated, she was more and
-more convinced, that he had really been on his way
-to her. If this were true, some event had interposed,
-something had occurred to hinder his coming. What
-could it have been, supposing him to have been but two
-miles away, save some mysterious, unthinkable effect
-of an interview with Gregory, if such there had been?
-It was no longer possible, no longer justifiable, to await
-events. She must herself discover all that Oliver knew,
-even if the discovery were to mean despair.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_331'>331</span>Alone, in her own cabin, she received Oliver. If
-Keith had been in Fraternia, or John Gregory, it would
-not have been permitted; but her intense anxiety and
-suspense overbore her usual shrinking from contact with
-the man, and Everett yielded to her wish to see him
-alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Oliver entered the cabin, noting its simple appointments
-with his characteristic curiosity. Anna pointed
-to a chair which he took, although she herself remained
-standing. Her face was as white as her dress, her eyes
-deeply sunken, her manner sternly imperious.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You are going away from Fraternia to-day?” she
-asked, with swift directness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” said Oliver, nodding with his peculiar smile;
-“this precious demigod or demagogue—whichever you
-please—of yours, your imperial Gregory, has issued a
-ukase against me, in short, has done me the honour to
-banish me from the matchless delights and privileges
-of Fraternia!” The last word was spoken with a slow
-emphasis of condensed contempt.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“There is something really a little queer about it,”
-Oliver continued, in a different tone. “I am on to
-most of what happened between my father and Gregory,
-but I’ve missed a link now somewhere. You see, the
-governor, in a fit of temporary aberration, offered Gregory
-a magnificent contribution for his socialist scheme
-down here; but Gregory was pretty high and lofty just
-then, and, ‘No, sir,’ said he—I heard him, though he
-and the governor don’t know it—‘No, sir, I couldn’t
-touch your money. I am just that fastidious.’ The
-governor had been confessing his sins to Gregory, the
-worse fool he! It seemed that his money had come to
-him in a way that might make some men squeamish, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_332'>332</span>Gregory, oh, dear, no! he wouldn’t have touched those
-ill-gotten gains as he was feeling then—not with the
-tip of one finger.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“But the joke is,” Oliver went on, “that he had to
-come to it. Oh, yes; he got down on his marrow bones
-to the governor here about three months ago, and wrote
-to him that he had reconsidered the matter, and saw his
-mistake,” and Oliver gave a low chuckle; “so the
-governor had to come down with the lucre, more or
-less filthy as it was, and I don’t think he was quite so
-much in the mood for it either as he was at the first, to
-tell the truth. But he sent it all the same, and sent
-me with it, don’t you see? I came as the saviour of
-Fraternia, although I have never been so recognized. The
-whole town has been run the last month or two on
-Ingraham money, and it seems to have greased the
-wheels about as well as any other money, for all I see.
-But now comes the unexpected! Off goes Gregory to
-England, sends back the governor’s check, so I hear
-from Everett, and kindly writes me to take myself off.
-What brought him to that is what I don’t quite see
-through yet.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have no doubt,” said Anna, concealing her dismay
-at Oliver’s malign disclosure with a manner of cold
-indifference, “that Mr. Gregory had good reasons for
-thinking it better for you to return to Burlington.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You’re right there,” retorted Oliver, quickly; “oh,
-yes, he had excellent reasons, the best of reasons. A
-man who knows too much is often inconvenient, you
-know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Ingraham,” Anna asked hastily, apparently
-ignoring this insinuation although she trembled now
-from head to foot, “I am not interested in the business
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_333'>333</span>relations of your father and Mr. Gregory. It was
-not to hear of them I sent for you. You brought me a
-letter yesterday which I think must have been not long
-ago in my husband’s possession. I wish you to tell me
-if, on the night when you found this letter, that is the
-night before last, you saw my husband in the neighbourhood
-of Fraternia?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, yes,” replied Oliver, as if it were quite a matter
-of course; “were you not expecting him?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Where did you see him?” The question came quick
-and sharp.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well,” said Oliver, reflectively, “you would like me
-to be exact, I suppose. Let me see, how shall I describe
-the place so that you will recall it—distinctly.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a certain cold deliberation in the articulation
-of these words which gave them a sickening cruelty.
-They called up strange visions of dread and dismay to
-Anna’s tortured imagination.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Speak more quickly,” she commanded, rather than
-asked, “the precise spot makes no difference.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was near the edge of the woods, on the Spalding
-side, that I saw him first. The night was quite bright
-with moonlight, if you remember. I had taken a stroll
-down to Spalding myself for some of those little luxuries
-which Fraternia doesn’t furnish, and was on my way
-back when I first noticed Mr. Burgess. He was just
-striking into the path, there by that dead oak tree; you
-may remember it. I noticed it because it stood out so
-white in the moonlight, and it was just at the foot of it
-that I picked up that letter. I did not know that he
-had dropped it, nor whose it was until after I got
-home.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Undoubtedly false,” thought Anna; “you had not
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_334'>334</span>had the chance to read it, that was all,” but she did not
-speak. Oliver too was silent, as if he had answered her
-question, and was done.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Please go on.” Anna kept her patience and control
-still.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh!” exclaimed Oliver, as if surprised, “you want
-to hear more, do you? All right. I guess likely I’m
-the only man that can tell you, being the only witness,
-in fact.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Witness of what?” Anna cried importunately.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well, that’s it. That’s what I’ve asked myself
-more than once since that night, and I rather guess as
-good a description as I could give would be to call it
-a kind of moral murder; a moral murder,” and Oliver
-repeated the phrase as if gratified by the acuteness of
-his perception in forming it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He watched her face closely, and beginning to fear
-from the bluish shade which tinged her pallor that Anna
-would soon be released from his power to torture by
-unconsciousness, hastily took another line.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, you’ve nothing to worry about, Mrs. Burgess,
-nothing at all. That was just a little fancy of mine,
-just my metaphorical way of stating things. It was a
-very simple little incident, nothing which need affect a
-man unpleasantly in the least. It just happened, you
-see, that Gregory was galloping down the path toward
-Spalding, and he met your husband, and they had a little
-talk together,—a mere quiet conversation for a few moments,—and
-Mr. Burgess seemed to change his mind
-about going to Fraternia just then, and turned back
-toward the village. That was all. I watched him a
-little, to be sure he didn’t need any help, you know,
-afterward. Gregory galloped right along; he was going
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_335'>335</span>to catch a train, I suppose, at C——, and that made him
-in something of a hurry, of course.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why should my husband have needed help, Mr.
-Ingraham? Will you be good enough to explain yourself
-clearly, and in as few words as possible?” Anna
-spoke more calmly now, but her eyes were like coals of
-fire.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Certainly, certainly. I cannot repeat Gregory’s
-language, not literally, but it seemed to cut Mr. Burgess
-up a good deal at the time,—at least I fancied so.
-That is what I meant by that little simile of mine
-awhile ago. He’s all over it now, of course. It was
-only a few words anyway. Just that Gregory said, in
-that short way he has once in awhile—Probably
-you’ve never heard him; he wouldn’t be apt to speak
-so to you,” and Oliver decorated the sentence with one
-of his most insinuating smiles.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Gregory said—?” Anna asked, looking into
-his face with an unflinching directness, before which
-Oliver’s eyes wandered nervously.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Why, he seemed surprised that Mr. Burgess should
-be coming back so soon, and he gave him to understand
-that a man like him, who was sick all the time, and not
-much of a Fraternian, either, was rather a drag on such
-a woman as you, don’t you see? and it might be fully
-as well if he should keep away and give you your freedom
-most of the time.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Did my husband make any reply that you heard?”
-asked Anna, huskily, this hideous distortion of unformulated
-traitor thoughts which had lurked in the background
-of her own consciousness confronting her now to
-her terror, and her heart doubly sick with the loathing of
-being forced to ask such information from such a source.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_336'>336</span>“He said you were at least his wife, I remember that.
-I guess that was about all. It struck me at the time
-that there was something in what he said, with all due
-respect for Gregory. He rules everything here, of
-course, though, I suppose,—even to the relations between
-husbands and wives.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The last words were lost upon Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“You may go now, if you please, Mr. Ingraham,”
-she said calmly. Her look and an unconscious gesture
-of dismissal were imperative, and Oliver, not daring to
-disobey, left the place without another word.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>For two days Anna sat alone and in silence, waiting
-for the summons which she knew by a sure intuition
-must come.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Oliver’s story had been confirmed in so far that it
-had been learned that Keith had been seen in Spalding
-on the night of Gregory’s departure, and had been known
-to take an east-bound train on the following morning.
-Nothing further was discovered regarding his movements,
-and it was useless to try to follow and find him. Anna
-could only wait.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When the message came it was, as she had known it
-would be, urgent and ominous. Keith was in Raleigh;
-he was very ill; she must go at once.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everything was ready, and with a strange composure
-and quietness as of one carrying out a line of action
-fully foreseen, Anna went on her journey, so like and
-yet so unlike that other journey to Keith which she had
-taken in her girlhood, ten years before. That had ended
-in their marriage. How would this end?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Reaching the city in the afternoon, Anna was driven
-with the haste she demanded to the address named in
-the message which had come, not from Keith himself,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_337'>337</span>but from a physician. It was not that of a hotel, as she
-had expected, but of a boarding-house of very moderate
-pretensions in a quiet street. Even the small details of
-the place, in their cheap commonness, smote her heart.
-Was it in places like this that Keith had, after all, been
-living, instead of in the well-appointed hotels in which
-she had always fancied him?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The landlady, a kindly, careworn woman, plain of
-dress and of speech, received Anna with a mournful
-face, but forebore explanations, seeing that it was time
-rather for silence, and led her down a long corridor to
-the door of a dim and silent room.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was a little stir as Anna stood in the open
-door; the physician came out and spoke to her, and
-she saw a nurse sitting quietly by a window. But Anna
-did not know that she saw or heard them; her sense
-took in only her husband, with eyes closed and the
-shadow of death upon his face, lying upon the strange
-bed in this place of strangers.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She was by his side and his hands were in hers, when
-presently he opened his eyes. Seeing her, a sudden
-light of clear recognition illuminated his face, a triumphant
-ray of joy and satisfaction. He tried to speak,
-but could not, but Anna felt the faint pressure of his
-hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Once more his lips moved, and Anna saw rather
-than heard the words:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Good-by, darling,” and with them the same look
-of ineffable love and peace. Then his eyes closed and
-he sank again into unconsciousness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The physician, leaning over, said softly, “He will not
-rouse again. This was most unexpected. He has been
-unconscious since morning.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_338'>338</span>The end came soon after midnight, unconsciousness
-falling into death without pain or struggle.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Of the days which followed Anna could never recall
-a distinct or coherent impression. Detached scenes and
-moments alone lived in her memory.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She knew that Everett was there and that they started
-for Fulham. Somewhere on the way Professor Ward
-met them, and Foster, the old family servant. Nothing
-seemed strange and nothing seemed natural; all passed
-to her as in a dream.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She was at Fulham; she remembered afterward that
-she sat in the library which Keith had longed for so,
-and his body lay beside her, below the mantelpiece
-where she had so often seen him lean. The old servants,
-hastily summoned for the occasion, went and
-came, and looked at her, she thought, with eyes of cold
-respect and mute reproach. Then Everett stood there,
-and she saw that tears were on his face as he looked
-upon his old friend, but she did not cry. Only when
-Everett turned toward her she said, very simply, with a
-motion of her hand which signified all that the place
-meant:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Keith gave his life—for me.” Then Everett had
-looked at her as if alarmed at what he saw in her face,
-and had gone out hastily and sent some woman to her,
-whom she did not want.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The incidents of the funeral seemed to pass by unnoticed.
-She remembered the moment at the grave when
-at last she fully realized that this was the end. Then
-she was at the Fulham railroad station, and Professor
-Ward had come to her on the train and had held her
-hands strongly in his, and had said with urgent emphasis:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_339'>339</span>“You must always remember that Keith’s physician
-and all his old friends believe that his life was prolonged
-rather than shortened by your living in the South. Do
-not for a moment dwell on the opposite thought.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She had felt her dry lips tremble then and her eyes
-grew dim, but she did not speak. The train had moved
-out soon, and she knew that kind eyes watched her,
-but she could not meet their look.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Of the journey down into the West to her mother
-that night she remembered nothing, save that the incessant
-jar of the train seemed to follow in a rhythmic endless
-repetition the familiar refrain of the old passion hymn,—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Was ever grief like mine?”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_340'>340</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXXVII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>From the unhappy desire of becoming great;</div>
- <div class='line'><em>Preserve us, gracious Lord and God.</em></div>
- <div class='line in30'>—<cite>Old Moravian Liturgy.</cite></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c014'>There is a time when religion is only felt as a bridle that checks us, and
-then comes another time when it is a sweet and penetrating life-blood, which
-sets in motion every fibre of the soul, expands the understanding, gives us the
-Infinite for our horizon, and makes all things clear to us.—<span class='sc'>Lacordaire.</span></p>
-
-<p class='c010'>On the quiet street of the hill town of Bethlehem
-stands the quaint and ancient building set apart in the
-Moravian economy as the Widows’ House.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In the interior of the old stone house, with its massive
-walls and rows of dormer windows, are wide, low-ceiled
-halls, and sunny, sweet-smelling chambers, clean
-and orderly, chaste and simple, as those of a convent.
-Here in mild monotony and peace the women of the
-“Widows’ Choir” live their quiet life, and here in
-September we find Anna Burgess, who had fled to this
-haven of her mother’s abiding-place, as to a sanctuary.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The evening was warm, and the windows of Gulielma
-Mallison’s room were open to the sunshine and the sweet
-air. Flowers blossomed in the deep window-sills; the
-bare floor was as white as scrubbing could make it; the
-appointments of the room were cheerful and refined, albeit
-homely, and the atmosphere was that of still repose.
-By the window Gulielma Mallison sat knitting, her face
-beneath its widow’s cap calm and strong in its submissive
-sadness. Opposite her on the sofa lay Anna, each line
-of her face and figure expressing the suffering of a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_341'>341</span>stricken heart. There had been months of slow, wearisome
-illness and of grievous mental suffering, in which
-her days had been a Purgatorio and her nights an
-Inferno; and now weeks of convalescence, which were
-bringing life back into her wasted frame, still failed to
-bring healing to her mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The mother’s fond eyes, glancing unperceived across
-her knitting, noted the listless droop of the long white
-hands upon the white dress, the marblelike pallor of the
-forehead from which the hair was so closely drawn, the
-hollow cheeks, the piteous sadness of the mouth,
-the glassy brightness of the eyes, fixed in the long, still
-gaze of habitual introspection.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Surely,” sighed Gulielma Mallison to herself, as she
-had before a hundred times, “there is more than the
-bitterness of death in her face; widowhood alone to
-the Christian brings not such havoc as this. It is in
-some place of danger that her thoughts are dwelling. I
-should fear less for her if she could only speak!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>But Anna’s grief could not find its way to words.
-How could her mother, in her sober, ordered existence,
-her decorous and righteous experiences of life and love
-and death, comprehend what it was to live with shadows
-of faithlessness, even of blood-guiltiness, for perpetual
-company? For to Anna’s thought Keith had been
-driven to his lonely death by the hardness of Gregory,
-by words which had issued from the white heat of his
-passion for her, a passion unrebuked by her,—nay,
-rather, shared to the full. Was she then guiltless of
-her husband’s death?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Not for a moment could Anna divide herself from
-Gregory in responsibility for the action which Oliver
-had characterized as “moral murder.” Unsparingly
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_342'>342</span>just to herself, she bore to the very limit of reason all
-the fellowship which was imposed upon her by the
-mastery of a love so long lived in its unconsciousness
-and silence, so soon cut off, once perceived and acknowledged.
-It has been said that “all great loves that have
-ever died, dropped dead.” Anna’s mighty passion had
-been stillborn, slain by the words which had sent Keith
-on his dim way to death. For she had never doubted
-that Oliver’s rehearsal of the scene in the woods between
-Gregory and Keith had been substantially true. She
-knew there had been spiritual violence done, and her
-soul recoiled from the very strength and power which
-had once enchained her. Something of diabolical pride
-seemed to her now to invest even the austere morality
-of Gregory. He would have spurned a yielding to the
-weakness of the flesh, his moral fastidiousness would
-have made it impossible; but he fought the fire of love
-fiercely with the fire of pride, not humbly with the
-weapons of prayer. No shield of faith nor sword of the
-spirit had been his in the hour of temptation, for all his
-high ideals, but the sheer, elemental force of human will.
-He had conquered, or rather had grappled with, the one
-passion; but the very force by which he had conquered
-turned again and conquered him, and his very power
-became his undoing.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Beside this conception of Gregory which had now
-taken possession of Anna’s mind, Keith’s gentleness,
-his faithful, patient life, above all, the greatness of the
-silent sacrifice which he had made for her sake when he
-embarked on the Fraternia adventure, became sacred
-and heroic. She saw at last what his leaving his normal
-life had been; she believed, as she had said to Everett,
-that he had literally given his life for her, and the sense
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_343'>343</span>of his devotion, so little understood, so scantily recognized,
-wore ceaselessly at her heart. Her one drop of
-balm was the memory of Keith’s last smile of triumphant
-love and faith; the bitterest drop in her Cup of
-Trembling that not one last word had been given her to
-show her by what paths his soul had fared, and whether
-thoughts of peace had lightened his sufferings. Having
-loved her, he had loved her to the end,—this only she
-knew. His faithfulness had not failed.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Words which her father had spoken to her shortly
-before his death, vaguely comprehended at the time,
-haunted her now, “<em>With greatness we have nothing at
-all to do; faithfulness only is our part.</em>”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>If only she had earlier discerned their meaning!</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Such shape did these two men take to Anna now;
-the one who had moulded all her outward life and touched
-her inner life hitherto so faintly, the other who had
-mastered her in her innate longing for power and freedom,
-and controlled her inner life for many years: Keith
-seemed to her now like some spirit of gentle ministration,
-humble, faithful, undefiled; Gregory, like some proud spirit,
-even as Lucifer, son of the morning, who had said, ‘I will
-ascend into heaven,’ but who had been brought down to
-hell, dragging with him all that was highest and holiest.
-And she had thought him so different! Like another,
-her heart would cry out:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“I thought that he was gentle, being great;</div>
- <div class='line'>O God, that I had loved a smaller man!</div>
- <div class='line'>I should have found in him a greater heart.”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'>Once, some weeks earlier, there had come to her a
-brief note from Gregory, written soon after his return to
-Fraternia. It said only:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_344'>344</span>“I have sinned deeply, against God; against him;
-most of all against you. I cannot even venture to ask
-you to forgive. I can only say to you, the penalty is
-wholly mine to bear. You are blameless.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Having read the note, Anna threw it into the fire, and
-wrote no word in return.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>And for herself—?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was no softness of self-pity in Anna’s remorse.
-Dry and tearless and despairing, she saw herself, after
-long years of spiritual assurance, of established and unquestioned
-righteousness, overwhelmed at last by sin; not
-by the delicate and dainty and inconclusive discords
-which religious experts love to examine and analyze, but
-by a gross ground-swell of primitive passion, linking her
-with men of violence and women of shame.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Looking back upon her girlhood, Anna thought with
-sad self-scorning of her young desire for “a deeper
-sense of sin.” It had come now, not as the initial stage
-in a knowledge of God, and of her relation to him, but
-as a tardy revelation of the possibility of her nature, undreamed
-of in her long security. The cherished formulas
-of the old system, its measure of rule and line applied
-to the incalculable forces of the human spirit; its hard,
-inflexible mould into which the great tides of personal
-experience must be poured, seemed to lie in fragments
-about her now, like wreckage after a storm. She remembered
-that Professor Ward had once spoken to her of her
-inherited religious conceptions as terrible in their power
-to mislead, to deceive the heart as to itself; she saw the
-danger of a belief founded not on infinite verities, but on a
-narrow mediæval logic. She knew sin at last, and knew
-that it was not slain in the hour of spiritual awakening.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>She thought of the night preceding her union with
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_345'>345</span>her father’s church, and the recoil of nameless dread
-with which she had seen passing under her window the
-village outcast whom she supposed to be incredibly
-guilty and cut off from fellowship with all who, like
-herself, were seeking God. And it was that very night
-that she had first dreamed of the mighty personality,
-the embodiment of power and greatness, which she had
-thought to find in Gregory. Though late, she now
-clearly perceived that in no human being could that ideal
-of her dream find full manifestation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Such thoughts as these were passing behind the pale
-mask of Anna’s pain-worn face, which her mother’s
-eyes were watching. The impress of suffering which
-they gave was hard to see, and a long involuntary sigh
-escaped Gulielma Mallison’s lips.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna looked up with eyes as sad as those of Michel
-Angelo’s Fates.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mother dear,” she said, her voice strangely dulled
-from its former clear cadence, “why do you sigh? Do I
-make you unhappy?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I cannot comfort you, Anna Benigna,” said the
-mother, sorrowfully. “It is for that I sigh.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No,” Anna said slowly, her eyes falling again from
-her mother’s face; “you cannot do that, no one can.
-No one lives who can comfort your child, mother.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have often thought, Anna, that you may have
-suffered,” the mother ventured almost timidly, “as many
-others have, from the sad mistakes so common to people
-who regard the Christian life and the married life as
-ends, instead of beginnings.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gulielma noticed a slight quickening of interest in
-Anna’s eyes, and went on thoughtfully, with her simple
-philosophy of life:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_346'>346</span>“To read the books that are written, and to hear the
-things that are said, young people can hardly help supposing
-that when they become Christians they will
-know no more of sin, and when they are married they
-will have only joy and perfect union. To my way of
-thinking, these wrong ideas are responsible for a great
-deal of needless unhappiness. The Christian life is
-really a school, with hard discipline and harder lessons.
-As for marriage—”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Well,” said Anna, as her mother paused, “as to
-marriage?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It may be a crown,” said Gulielma, slowly, “but it
-is sure to be in some measure a cross. It is a testing,
-a trial, a discipline, like the rest of life. Only, whether
-it happens to be happy, or happens to be hard, it is
-equally to be borne faithfully and in the fear of God.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>There was silence for a little space, and then a laughing
-voice in the street outside, called:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mrs. Mallison!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gulielma rose and stepped to the window, looking
-out over the crimson and purple asters into the street.
-A young girl who stood there handed her up a letter.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I don’t know whether it belongs to Mrs. Burgess or
-not. The address has been changed so many times,
-but the postmaster said I was to ask you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Very well,” was the answer, and as Gulielma
-turned back, a letter in her hand, she found Anna sitting
-up, leaning upon her elbow, her eyes strangely
-eager. She held out her hand, not speaking, and
-received the letter. The upper line, which struck her
-eyes instantly, was her own name, and it had been
-written by Keith. She could not be mistaken. The
-mother’s anxious eyes saw every trace of colour ebb away
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_347'>347</span>from Anna’s face and lips, and then stream back until
-the faint flush rose to her forehead. She had not
-stopped to decipher the many addresses written below,
-crossed and recrossed by many pens, but, seeing her own
-name written by the dear dead hand, she pressed the
-letter hard against her heart and so lay a moment, silent.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Soon she looked up and met her mother’s eyes. A
-wistful, heart-breaking request was in her own, which
-she hardly dared to speak.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“May I be all alone, mother?” she asked faintly;
-“my letter is from <em>him</em>. It has gone wrong, but it has
-come to me, you see, at last. In the morning I will see
-you. I will tell you then—all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>In another minute, the door quietly closing, Anna
-found herself alone. Breaking the seal, she saw that the
-letter had been written three days before Keith’s death.
-An error in the original address, doubtless due to his
-exhaustion, had sent it far astray. The letter said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='sc'>My own Anna</span>,—I am here in Raleigh in a comfortable
-house, and with kind people, but I fear that
-I am very ill, and that the end is now not far away,
-and I want you as soon as you can come to me. I
-hope there will be no need of alarming you with a telegram,
-for I know that you will start as soon as this
-reaches you, and that will be in good time.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Do not think that this crisis is sudden and unforeseen.
-The physician in Baltimore told me plainly that I
-could have but a short time to live, and when I knew
-that I hastened to reach you as quickly as I might. It
-was for you only, Anna, in all the world that I longed.
-I believed that a few weeks of quietness were for us,
-not harder than we could bear, being together.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'><span class='pageno' id='Page_348'>348</span>I think you will know that something turned me
-back almost at my journey’s end. John Gregory is
-honest, and he will tell you, if indeed he knows himself.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>I do not know now what he said to me, I do not
-care to remember. Whatever it was it should have had
-no weight, being spoken, I know, under some strong excitement,
-but with it there went that strange, irresistible
-influence which Gregory exerts over me, and before
-which I was, or seemed to myself, powerless. I felt
-his will was for me to go back, not onward to you, and
-I yielded as if unable to do otherwise. I do not know,
-I cannot understand. I wish it had not been so, but
-rather for him than for myself, for I know that in his
-higher mood the thought of that night must be hateful
-to him.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>I want to say now while I can that neither you nor
-he must look upon these events in a way to exaggerate
-or overemphasize their importance. I can see that you
-with your sensitive conscience and he with his great
-moral severity may judge over hardly. The difference
-to me has not been great. The end was very near, and
-is not hastened, and I shall see you yet before it comes.
-If I had not been weak I should have kept on my way.
-It was my weakness that sent me back rather than the
-outward compulsion.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>I shall not want to talk of this when I see you,
-Anna, and so I will write to-day some things which have
-come to my mind this winter, for I have come to see
-many things in a new light.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>John Gregory loves you. I do not blame him for
-that, nor wonder. “We needs must love the highest
-when we see it.” He is a man of great power and of
-the highest spiritual ambition. He is far nearer to you
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_349'>349</span>in ability than I; he could enter more deeply into your
-purposes and sympathize in fuller measure with your
-intellectual life. I believe you could have loved him, if
-you had been free, and that the union of two such
-natures would have been nobly effective for good. But
-I found you first, and with my fond dream that a sign
-was given me, won you for my wife. What then?</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>It fell to my part, although not of my own will, to
-give your life the shape it has taken. Sometimes I see
-plainly that I, a poor, pale, colourless fellow, wholly
-beneath both you and John Gregory, have maimed both
-your lives, so much stronger and more potential than
-mine could ever be.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>And yet, Anna, for all this I cannot wish the past
-undone. I claim you wholly, heartily, for my own, and
-whatever the future may hold for you, and however the
-past has tried you, I believe in your love for me, and in
-the union of our spirits. My heart is at rest. My trust
-in you is absolute and beyond hurt or harm, and all the
-joy my life has known has come through you, my true
-and faithful wife. Never doubt this if you love me
-and would honour my name.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>I wish to lay no hint of limitation or direction upon
-your future. Wherever you go, the dear Lord will go
-with you, and you will bring peace and consolation.
-You cannot go astray, nor your work be brought to
-naught, for God is with you. All that I have is yours
-without reserve or condition, beyond the few legacies I
-have named in a letter to my lawyer in Fulham. Use
-what was ours together freely wherever you will,
-whether to establish Fraternia, or in any line of effort
-which appeals to you. My keenest regret is that heretofore
-I have withheld from you what you desired. Forgive
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_350'>350</span>me. Those scruples look small and mean to me
-to-day.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Good night, my Anna—my Benigna, my highest
-grace and blessing.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Do not think of me as left comfortless. I am not
-alone. The King is at the door, and I hear his voice.
-He has even come in and will sup with me and I with
-him.</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>Let his peace be upon us both.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r c013'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Keith.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<hr class='c012' />
-
-<p class='c011'>It was morning.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Entering her room, Gulielma Mallison found Anna
-fully dressed, standing in a stream of sunshine, with a
-brighter light than that of the sun upon her face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, mother!” she cried, stretching out both her
-hands, “I can live. I can sleep. I can even cry now.
-Oh, these tears! how they have fallen like rain on a
-thirsty ground. See, mother; after all I am young still
-and strong. Feel my pulse, how full it is this morning,
-how strong and steady! I am at peace. The peace
-of God has come to me at last. Keith has comforted
-me.”</p>
-
-<div>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_351'>351</span>
- <h3 class='c001'>CHAPTER XXXVIII</h3>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>Tolerant plains, that suffer the sea and the rains and the sun,</div>
- <div class='line'>To spread and span like the catholic man who hath mightily won</div>
- <div class='line'>God out of knowledge and good out of infinite pain</div>
- <div class='line'>And sight out of blindness and purity out of a stain.</div>
- <div class='line in48'>—<span class='sc'>Sidney Lanier.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c014'>While we are not to forget that we have fallen, we are not always to carry
-the mud with us; the slough is behind, but the clean, clearly defined road
-stretches ahead of us; skies are clear, and God is beyond. We were made for
-purity, truth, and fidelity, and the very abhorrence of the opposite of these
-qualities bears testimony that our aspirations are becoming our attainments. The
-really noble thing about any man or woman is not freedom from all the stains
-of the lower life, but the deathless aspirations which forever drive us forward....
-Better a thousand times the eager and passionate fleeing to God from a
-past of faults and weaknesses, with an irresistible longing to rest in the everlasting
-verities, than the most respectable career which misses this profound impulse.</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-r c013'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>—<span class='sc'>Anon.</span></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c010'>It was Easter morning in Bethlehem. The stars
-still shone in the sky, and the little town lay in the hush
-and stillness which precede the earliest dawn, when suddenly,
-far off, like a whisper from the sky, the tones of
-the trumpets could be heard announcing the risen
-Christ.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Down through the quiet streets passed the solemn
-choir, the trombones blowing their deep-breathing melody
-in full and thrilling power. They stopped for a
-little space upon the bridge, and as their herald choral
-swelled and grew and filled the air, lights came out in
-visible response here and there throughout the sleeping
-town; and as they passed on down the streets, under
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_352'>352</span>the starlit sky, groups of men and women joined them
-in quiet fashion until the procession grew to a great
-though silent throng.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>From the Widows’ House Gulielma Mallison and
-Anna came out and stood together for a moment in the
-dusk, watching the approaching stream of people as it
-moved forward in the gloom, and listening to the strains
-of music which called to their ears:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Rise, heart; thy Lord is risen!”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Soon the procession had reached their door, and, joining
-it with humble gladness, mother and daughter followed
-with the rest, greeting their friends and neighbours
-in simple, heartfelt kindliness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The church was reached, and within it a solemn service
-was begun, and continued until the brightening of the
-eastern sky gave token of the sunrise. Then, as with
-one accord, and with the quietness of dear and familiar
-custom, the great congregation streamed out into the
-twilight of the early dawn, and, again forming in procession,
-moved forward up the winding hill to the cemetery,
-the choir with the pastor leading the way.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was an early spring, and on the air was the thrill
-of awakening life. As she stood in the midst of the
-reverent throng now waiting, as if expectant, in the still
-churchyard, Anna felt the deep significance of the time
-as it had never been given her to feel it before.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Again the trombones poured forth their deep, yearning
-music in the ancient Easter hymn, the people singing
-in full chorus:—</p>
-
-<div class='lg-container-b c009'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'>“Amen! Come, Lord Jesus! Come, we implore thee;</div>
- <div class='line'>With longing hearts we now are waiting for thee;</div>
- <div class='line in14'>Come soon, O come!”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_353'>353</span>Then followed, in slow, rhythmic chant, the noble
-words of the old Moravian liturgy:—</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>“This is my Lord, who redeemed me, a lost and undone
-human creature, purchased and gained me from all sin, from
-death and from the power of the devil;</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>“Not with gold or silver, but with his holy, precious blood,
-and with his innocent suffering and dying;</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>“To the end that I should be his own, and in his kingdom
-live under him and serve him in eternal righteousness, innocence,
-and happiness;</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>“So as he, being risen from the dead, liveth and reigneth
-world without end.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>With awe and joy came back the great volume of
-the response:—</p>
-
-<p class='c014'>“<em>This I most certainly believe.</em>”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Keep us, oh Lord,” came then the prayer, “in everlasting
-fellowship with those of our brethren who since
-Easter Day have entered into the joy of their Lord and
-with the whole Church triumphant, and let us rest
-together in thy presence from our labours.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The sun rose. The quiet God’s Acre was gilded
-with its misty beams, and the pale opal tints of the
-morning clouds reflected its glory. From the whole
-assembly burst forth the mighty hallelujahs of the hymn
-of praise, borne up by the deep diapason of the trumpets:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“The Lord is risen. He is indeed risen.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As Anna came out of the churchyard in the sunrise
-light, the peace of God was in her look, and the victory
-of the Resurrection morning shone in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Hardly had she reached the street, when some one
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_354'>354</span>who had stood, awaiting her coming, put out his hand
-and greeted her. It was Pierce Everett.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I saw you in the churchyard,” he said. “I wish
-to speak to you now, if I may.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna welcomed him with quiet gladness, and they
-walked on together through the street, until they were
-beyond the crowd. Then Anna asked:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Do you come from Fulham?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, no,” was the answer, “from Fraternia, or from
-what was Fraternia. My home is there now, and will
-be.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I did not know,” Anna said simply, not finding it
-easy to say more.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“There is little left there now of the old village or
-of the old life. Even the name is gone. They call it
-Gregory’s now.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I heard that the land had gone into the hands of
-the man who held the mortgage.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, it is all gone now; all except the bit of ground
-that Mr. Gregory’s house stands on. The house and
-land we have kept for our own.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And there you live alone? Are all the others gone?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Nearly all. Some stay and work in the cotton mill,
-which has been enlarged, but the cabins are mostly used
-now by the coloured people who work the land, and are
-employed also in the mill.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They were silent for a moment, and then Everett
-said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“We have heard that you are going soon to India.
-Is it true?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, I go next month.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“As a teacher?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, partly, but I am also to be connected with a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_355'>355</span>hospital. You know that is work which I have always
-liked, and this is to be a new hospital, bearing my husband’s
-name.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Everett was silent, and Anna noted as she had not
-before the profound sadness of his face. Presently he
-looked at her with undisguised anxiety and asked a question
-which she had already begun to dread.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Would you be willing to see Mr. Gregory before
-you go?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>A painful change passed over Anna’s face.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I cannot,” she replied quickly; “it is not necessary.
-Is he here, Mr. Everett? Did he come with you?”
-and he noticed that she trembled and lost colour.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No,” he answered very gently; “do not be troubled.
-He is not here. He will not seek to find or follow you.
-He will never leave Fraternia again.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Her eyes questioned his face, for it was impossible not
-to detect some melancholy significance in his words.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Mr. Gregory has received a severe injury,” Everett
-went on, as if in answer to her look. “It was a month
-ago. He was at work with the lumbermen up in the
-ravine. He was working midway of the river, which
-was unusually high, and he slipped and fell. Before he
-could get to his feet, a heavy log which was carried forward
-very swiftly by the current struck him with tremendous
-force and stunned him. We were near enough
-to reach him almost immediately, but the blow was on
-the spine, and it produced instantaneous paralysis. He
-will never walk again.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Swift changes had passed over Anna’s face. In a
-softened voice she said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How strange, how very terrible. Is he himself in
-other ways?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_356'>356</span>“Perfectly. His mind was never clearer nor more
-active. I think he was never stronger in spirit. His
-body is a magnificent wreck, that is all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And he does not wish to leave Fraternia?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“No, I think nothing could suit him so well as our
-little stronghold in the solitude there. He does not
-mind the changes even, as one would expect. There
-is no bitterness. He is too large-minded for that. He
-acknowledges himself defeated, but his faith is still
-strong in his cause.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And how about yourself?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am with him, heart and soul,” Everett answered,
-with strong emphasis; “nothing could take me from
-him now,—unless my presence ceased to be acceptable
-to him. He is, in spite of all that has passed of failure
-and defeat, my leader, and will be to the end. He is
-imperfect, being human; perhaps there are men least
-in the kingdom of heaven who are greater than he.
-Nevertheless, he is the bravest man I have ever known
-and the most sincere,—I would almost add, the humblest.
-So we live on together. He writes, I paint. Barnabas
-takes care of the house for us, and little Judith gives us
-the touch of womanhood we need to humanize us. An
-oddly assorted family perhaps, but we are satisfied.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna listened with intense eagerness to every word,
-and found sincere satisfaction in the simple picture
-which Everett had thus drawn for her.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And you have come to Bethlehem—” Anna hesitated,
-and Everett took up the word quickly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have come all the way from Fraternia to ask you
-to go back with me and see John Gregory once more.
-He may live for a number of years, but it is hardly
-probable that you ever will see him again. He asks this
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_357'>357</span>as the greatest kindness you can do him, but he told
-me to say that, if you do not feel that you can go, he
-will still be perfectly sure that you are doing right.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Something in the new note of humility, of submission,
-in the implied finality of the request, most of all the
-vision of the strong man in his present helplessness and
-acknowledged defeat, wrought powerfully upon Anna’s
-resolution.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They walked on silently for some moments, and then,
-turning abruptly to retrace her steps into the town,
-Anna said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, I will go with you. We will start to-morrow
-morning.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>It was late on Tuesday afternoon when they reached
-the valley. As they drove past the mill Anna gave a
-sudden exclamation of dismay as she caught a passing
-glimpse of a well-remembered figure which she least
-expected to see again in Fraternia.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That could not be Oliver Ingraham,” she cried,
-“and yet no other man could look like him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was Oliver himself,” said Everett, smiling a little.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How can it be? What has happened?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“To begin with, I should tell you that Mr. Gregory
-succeeded in paying back, even to the last dollar, Mr.
-Ingraham’s contribution.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna’s face grew brighter.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am glad,” she said.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, it was better, I am sure. But when this was
-accomplished a sense of compunction seized him toward
-Oliver for some fancied harshness in the past. Six
-months ago he sent for him to come if he would, and he
-appeared promptly. Mr. Gregory had conceived the
-idea that something better could be made of the man
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_358'>358</span>under right influences, and he determined to make the
-attempt.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Can you see any change?” asked Anna, still incredulous.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It was rather hopeless for a time, only that he so
-evidently, for all his former spleen and spite, came to
-have a regard for Mr. Gregory, himself, approaching
-worship. But when the accident happened up in the
-woods and he saw Mr. Gregory helpless as he is now,
-it seemed to produce an extraordinary change in the fellow.
-He is softened and humanized in a marvellous degree.
-He can never be wholesome exactly to ordinary
-mortals. I sometimes think he is a snake still, but a snake
-with its poisonous fangs drawn. Yes, Mr. Gregory has
-made it possible to hope for good even from Oliver.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Only a great nature could have made that possible,”
-said Anna, musingly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” responded Everett, “and only then a great
-nature which had learned obedience by the things which
-it suffered.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Anna was silent. This action of Gregory’s seemed
-very great to her, so wholly was it in opposition to his
-deep, instinctive antipathy toward Oliver. This man
-had seemed to embody in himself the evil forces which
-had entered Fraternia to destroy all of highest hope and
-purpose with which it had been established. And now
-Gregory had stooped to lift up, even to draw to himself,
-the man in all his hideous moral ugliness. Idealist as
-Anna had ever been, she saw in the nature thus revealed
-to her, in spite of failures and falls, a more robust virtue,
-a higher spiritual efficacy, than any of which she had
-known or dreamed. Again she found herself convicted
-of a too narrow and partial view of the working of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_359'>359</span>human spirit in her passionate withdrawal from Gregory
-in his time of temptation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They had crossed the bridge now, and up the wooded
-slope Anna saw Barnabas and little Judith standing
-before the door of Gregory’s cabin. With simple and
-unaffected delight they welcomed her, and then suffered
-her to enter the house alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>When the door had closed behind her, Barnabas came
-up quietly and took his place upon the rude steps which
-his hands had laid, and so sat, throughout the interview,
-as one self-stationed, to keep guard.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>The interior of the cabin was as it had always been,
-with its rude furniture and its one picture, save that
-a broad and capacious couch covered with leather stood
-with its head just below the south window. On this
-couch, with a rug of grey foxskin thrown over his
-limbs, lay John Gregory, his head and shoulders
-propped high, his powerful hands lying by his sides with
-their own expression of enforced idleness.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He lifted his head as Anna entered, and leaned forward,
-raising his right hand in a pathetic salutation of reverence
-and gratitude.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Overcome by the new and more august repose of his
-face and by the pathos of his look and gesture, Anna
-crossed to where Gregory lay, and fell upon her knees
-by his side, her tears bathing his hand, although this she
-did not know.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>For a space neither spoke nor moved. Then, as she
-rose from her knees, Anna said under her breath:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Life is greater than I thought.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Life is great,” returned Gregory, “because we live
-in God.” Then he asked humbly, all the fire of his
-earlier habit of speech quenched,—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_360'>360</span>“Do you then forgive me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, I have forgiven you,” she said softly. “I
-could not until, months after my husband’s death, a
-letter came to me from him, which had been lost long
-in reaching me. It was so noble, so great, so reconciling,
-that it sufficed for all—even that,” she added, with
-unsparing truthfulness. Then, even more gently:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is altogether from him that I am here to-day.
-I could never have seen you again if it had not been for
-that letter.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then I owe to him the greatest mercy of my life,”
-said John Gregory, solemnly, “and it is fitting that I
-should. He was a gentler man than I, a better man. I
-did not rightly appreciate him when he was among us.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“He had no noisy virtues,” Anna said. “I think
-none of us perceived fully what he was until he was
-gone.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then with great delicacy she told Gregory all that
-the letter had brought of reconcilement, and especially
-the word to him. He heard it in brooding silence, and
-his face grew very calm.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I wanted you to know,” Gregory began after a
-long pause, “that my feeling toward you has not been
-evil or base or wholly selfish. From the time I first
-saw that picture,” and he pointed to that above the fireplace,
-“you became to me a kind of religion. You
-stood to me for the absolute purity of my ideal, untainted
-by self and sin and even sorrow. That picture
-gave you to me as a virgin soul in the first dawning of
-a great and noble expectation. It was a picture which
-a Galahad might have worshipped. But alas! I was no
-Galahad.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I was bringing the picture back to this country, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_361'>361</span>it happened, although you never knew it, that I crossed
-on the same ship with you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“How could it have been,” cried Anna, “that I never
-saw you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I was with my East London people in the other
-part of the ship. But I used often to see you with your
-husband and with the many friends who always made a
-circle about you, and I fancied I saw a change in your
-look,—a change which betokened a gradual dimming of
-your higher vision, a fading of your ideal. I thought the
-people about you were changing you to their own likeness
-in some degree, and the thought haunted and disturbed
-me more than I had a right to let it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I came to Fulham with the picture, which I had
-promised to return to Everett. When I reached his
-house late in the evening, his mother received me and
-told me that he and ‘all the world’ were at a great reception
-at your house. She further told me that your
-husband’s mother had confided in her her hopes and
-her confidence that a new era of social leadership was
-now before you, and added that you were indeed already
-quite ‘the fashion’ in Fulham’s aristocratic circle.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I had hardly an hour in Fulham—hardly a moment
-to reflect. I acted on my impulse and sought you and
-called you out from your brilliant company. You know
-what I said. My motive was pure, I think, whether the
-action were well judged or ill. When I saw you before
-me in that brief interview, in your loveliness, and in the
-docility which underlay your frank and candid joy, a
-strange impulse arose in me to gain some spiritual control
-over you, to have an essential influence over your
-thinking and to direct your development and your activity
-as I believed would be noblest and best.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_362'>362</span>“Naturally I had no opportunity to carry out such an
-impulse for a long period, but I think it never left me.
-When I saw you that night in the audience at Burlington,
-I knew that you would go to Fraternia. I determined
-in my own heart that if it could be right, you should.
-There was no thought then or for many months that
-anything could arise between us which could impair our
-faith and duty. Indeed, I never knew myself that it
-was you who had wholly mastered me rather than I you,
-until that day on Eagle Rock. When I left Fraternia
-that night, I knew all—to the very depth. I understood
-the blindness and tyranny of my passion, and I left,
-meaning never to see you again. Benigna, I did not have
-it in my heart to do you wrong, least of all to do wrong
-to your husband. It was the suddenness of his coming
-before me, and the struggle I was myself undergoing,
-which threw me at the moment into a kind of still
-frenzy of evil impulse. Gladly would I have died to
-atone for it.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Now, looking back, I almost think I can see that
-I was permitted, so far as my individual life was concerned,
-to reach some climax of pride and passion, that I
-might be brought low in my humiliation. Perhaps in no
-other way could I have learned the way of the Cross
-than through seeing the failure of my own strength, in
-which God knew, I see now, I had taken an unconscious
-pride.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“There is nothing left of it. No drop of the wormwood
-and gall has gone untasted. But I believe
-solemnly to-day in the forgiveness of sins, and rest
-in a good hope of salvation through our Master,
-Christ.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Again silence came between them, a silence which
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_363'>363</span>was full of peace, and then, with something of his old
-abruptness, Gregory said:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“And now you will tell me about your going to India.
-You are glad to go; so much I understand.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” Anna replied, “it is a great fulfilment. I
-have lived a whole round of life since I first felt the call
-to this service, and now I come back to it with a purpose
-and conviction even deeper than those which first
-inspired me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then the larger hopes of final destiny do not, in the
-end, weaken the missionary motive, you think?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, no. That fear belonged only to the time of
-transition. The message I have now is a far mightier
-and a more imperative one than I had at first. I know
-something now of the reality of sin and its terrible
-fellowship, and at least far more than in those old days,
-both of law and of love. I have learned also a greater
-reverence for man as well as for God.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” he said quietly; “it is true. You have been
-in training for your work.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I am gladder than I can tell you,” continued Anna,
-“that I was withheld from going out on such a mission
-with the hard and narrow message which was all I had
-then to give. It was you, Mr. Gregory, who opened
-to me the great truth of the unity of the race, you who
-taught me to see that ‘redemption is the movement of
-the whole to save the part.’ I share the burden of sin
-and suffering with all my fellow-men, and I simply seek
-to lift that burden so far as I may where it presses most
-sorely. Can there be any doubt that this is where Christ
-is not known,—among pagan nations?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>John Gregory thought for a moment before he replied.
-“I believe you are right,” he said finally. “The
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_364'>364</span>needs there are grosser than here, and they are actual
-and intolerable; inherent in the system, not artificial.
-You have the gift of high ministry. You used it without
-stint for our people here in Fraternia, but the
-issues were inadequate to your powers; for the conditions
-were, after all, abnormal, being produced voluntarily
-rather than by necessity.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Then do you feel, Mr. Gregory, that the message
-of brotherhood, of equality, cannot be spread by such
-means as we tried in Fraternia?” Anna asked timidly,
-and yet without fear.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I believe that such isolated, social experiments, for
-many years at least, will be as ours has been, premature
-and ineffective. They are symptoms rather than
-formative agencies. They have significance as such,
-but are otherwise unproductive.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“I have not learned this lesson easily,” he added
-with a faint return of his rare smile, and the swift,
-strong gesture with which he had always been wont to
-dash the hair from his forehead. Anna knew without
-words that in the fall of Fraternia his dearest hopes, his
-most cherished plans, and highest pledges had fallen too.
-It was not necessary to open the old wound that she
-should know his pain.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“There are more steps between the clear perception
-of a condition and the application of remedial measures
-than I supposed before I started our colony here. I was
-in a hurry, but God seems to have plenty of time.
-There must be years, generations, perhaps—I sometimes
-fear it—centuries still of education and training
-before men understand that they are not created oppressors
-by the grace of God, nor oppressed by the will of
-God. I read this the other day,” he continued, taking
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_365'>365</span>a book from the table beside him; “it will show you
-what I mean: ‘When a man feels in himself the upheaval
-of a new moral fact, he sees plainly enough that
-that fact cannot come into the actual world all at once—not
-without first a destruction of the existing order of society—such
-a destruction as makes him feel satanic;
-then an intellectual revolution; and lastly only a new
-order embodying the new impulse.’</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That is good,” he commented, laying the book
-down, “but what is said there in a few sentences may,
-in actual fulfilment, require several centuries.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is hard to wait,” said Anna.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes, it is hard,” Gregory repeated, his eyes resting
-on her face with that sympathetic response to her
-thought which, she was startled to find, could still stir
-the old warm tremor in her heart; “but I can wait, can’t
-you? You can if you believe, as we are bound to believe,
-in a ‘divine event toward which the whole creation
-moves.’ I believe, I thank God, also, that, unworthy and
-powerless as I am in this marred soul and destroyed body
-of me, I can still hope, still work, still greet the unseen
-and expect the impossible.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>They talked long, and Anna rose at last to go.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Oh, you will be leaving now!” John Gregory cried,
-as if he had forgotten that she did not belong to Fraternia.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” Anna said gently, “I am to return to Spalding
-in an hour for the night, and I start home from
-there in the morning.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Yes,” he said, “that is right. You must go;”
-but with the thought all colour left his face, and his
-breath came hard and fast. She saw the physical
-change in him then. She had hardly seen it before.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'><span class='pageno' id='Page_366'>366</span>“Can I help you? Can I bring you anything you
-need?” she asked quickly.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He pointed to a glass on the mantel, and said, smiling
-faintly:—</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“It is so new to make others wait on me. It is not
-quite easy to lie here and submit to be served,—even
-by you, Benigna.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>As she brought him the glass, the simple act of service
-bore with it a peculiar power of suggestion and
-produced upon Anna herself an effect far beyond its
-apparent importance; for, as she thus served Gregory
-in his helplessness, a wave of yearning compassion and
-pure womanly tenderness broke over her heart. He
-would lie here for years, perhaps, prostrate, defeated,
-suffering, and she who had so loved him would go her
-way and leave him alone and uncomforted! Could it
-be right?</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Before the imperious power of this question all other
-motives lost their significance.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Gregory had recovered from the sharpest effect of his
-agitation, and raised his eyes again, full of patient and
-quiet sorrow.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“Tell me,” she cried low and breathlessly, “shall I
-stay? I said I wished only to go where was most need
-of me. Is it here? Oh, I trust you wholly now, John
-Gregory! If you need my service, I will serve you
-while we both live.”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then, as they faced each other with looks of solemn
-question, Anna saw into the depth of the man’s strong
-spirit, and she was prepared for what would follow.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>“That might have been,” he said very slowly, and as
-if he were pronouncing his own doom, “even that
-unspeakable joy; but I myself, my child, made it impossible.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_367'>367</span>Do you no longer see the great gulf fixed between
-you and me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>He was holding both her hands now, and his own
-were firm and steady, but his face reflected the stern
-agony of the moment, while that of Anna was white as
-death. A throbbing silence filled the room, and all the
-air seemed to vibrate with the fierce pulsations of their
-hearts, for in both the cry arose that their punishment,
-self-inflicted, was greater than they could bear.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Then calmness fell, for as with one consent their eyes
-met again, and each perceived the light of a final spiritual
-conquest, and the shadow of an ultimate renunciation.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Again, as once before, John Gregory said, “It is the
-end,” and thus, most quietly, they parted.</p>
-
-<hr class='c012' />
-
-<p class='c011'>It was evening when Anna left Fraternia. As the
-road entered the woods where the valley widened to the
-plain, she turned and caught a last glimpse of the solitary
-light which shone from the lowly house on the
-river’s farther side.</p>
-
-<p class='c011'>Through all the years and changes which remained to
-her, never did Anna lose the vision of that light, shining
-apart in the high valley. But John Gregory she never
-saw again.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
- <hr class='pb c003' />
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-</div>
-<div class='tnotes'>
-
-<div class='section ph2'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c0'>
-<div class='nf-center c004'>
- <div>TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
- <ol class='ol_1 c002'>
- <li>Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling.
-
- </li>
- <li>Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed.
- </li>
- </ol>
-
-</div>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
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