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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Playful Poems, by Various, Edited by Henry Morley
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
+other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
+whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
+the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
+www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
+to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
+
+
+
+
+Title: Playful Poems
+
+
+Author: Various
+
+Editor: Henry Morley
+
+Release Date: March 29, 2015 [eBook #6332]
+[This file was first posted on November 27, 2002]
+
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PLAYFUL POEMS***
+
+
+This etext was produced by Les Bowler, St. Ives, Dorset.
+
+ Companion Poets
+
+
+
+
+
+ PLAYFUL POEMS
+
+
+ EDITED
+ _AND WITH AN INTRODUCTION_
+
+ BY
+
+ HENRY MORLEY.
+ EMERITUS PROFESSOR OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND
+ LITERATURE AT UNIVERSITY COLLEGE
+ LONDON
+
+ [Picture: Decorative graphic]
+
+ LONDON
+ GEORGE ROUTLEDGE & SONS, LIMITED
+ BROADWAY, LUDGATE HILL
+ GLASGOW, MANCHESTER, AND NEW YORK
+ 1891
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+ PAGES
+INTRODUCTION 7–15
+CHAUCER’S MANCIPLE’S TALE OF PHŒBUS AND THE CROW 17–27
+
+_Modernised by_ LEIGH HUNT.
+CHAUCER’S RIME OF SIR THOPAS 29–37
+
+_Modernised by_ Z. A. Z.
+CHAUCER’S FRIAR’S TALE; OR, THE SUMNER AND THE DEVIL 39–48
+
+_Modernised by_ LEIGH HUNT.
+CHAUCER’S REVE’S TALE 49–62
+
+_Modernised by_ R. H. HORNE.
+CHAUCER’S POEM OF THE CUCKOO AND THE NIGHTINGALE 63–73
+
+_Modernised by_ WILLIAM WORDSWORTH.
+GOWER’S TREASURE TROVE 75–80
+
+_Modernised from the fifth book of the_ CONFESSIO
+AMANTIS.
+LYDGATE’S LONDON LICKPENNY 81–84
+LYDGATE’S BICORN AND CHICHEVACHE 85–89
+DUNBAR’S BEST TO BE BLYTH 91, 92
+DRAYTON’S DOWSABELL 93–96
+DRAYTON’S NYMPHIDIA 97–116
+POPE’S RAPE OF THE LOCK 117–137
+COWPER’S JOHN GILPIN 139–146
+BURNS’S TAM O’SHANTER 147–153
+HOOD’S DEMON SHIP 155–158
+HOOD’S TALE OF A TRUMPET 159–180
+NOTE.—THE GAME OF OMBRE 181–187
+GLOSSARY 188–192
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+THE last volume of these “Companion Poets” contained some of Chaucer’s
+Tales as they were modernised by Dryden. This volume contains more of
+his Tales as they were modernised by later poets. In 1841 there was a
+volume published entitled, “The Poems of Geoffrey Chaucer Modernized.”
+Of this volume, when it was first projected, Wordsworth wrote to Moxon,
+his publisher, on the 24th of February 1840: “Mr. Powell, my friend, has
+some thought of preparing for publication some portion of Chaucer
+modernised, as far and no farther than is done in my treatment of ‘The
+Prioress’ Tale.’ That would, in fact, be his model. He will have
+coadjutors, among whom, I believe, will be Mr. Leigh Hunt, a man as
+capable of doing the work well as any living writer. I have placed at my
+friend Mr. Powell’s disposal three other pieces which I did long ago, but
+revised the other day. They are ‘The Manciple’s Tale,’ ‘The Cuckoo and
+the Nightingale,’ and twenty-four stanzas of ‘Troilus and Cressida.’
+This I have done mainly out of my love and reverence for Chaucer, in
+hopes that, whatever may be the merits of Mr. Powell’s attempt, the
+attention of other writers may be drawn to the subject; and a work
+hereafter produced, by different persons, which will place the treasures
+of one of the greatest of poets within the reach of the multitude, which
+now they are not. I mention all this to you because, though I have not
+given Mr. Powell the least encouragement to do so, he may sound you as to
+your disposition to undertake the publication. I have myself nothing
+further to do with it than I have stated. Had the thing been suggested
+to me by any number of competent persons twenty years ago, I would have
+undertaken the editorship and done much more myself, and endeavoured to
+improve the several contributions where they seemed to require it. But
+that is now out of the question.”
+
+Wordsworth had made his versions of Chaucer in the year 1801. “The
+Prioress’s Tale” had been published in 1820, so that only the three
+pieces he had revised for his friend’s use were available, and of these
+the Manciple’s Tale was withdrawn, the version by Leigh Hunt (which is
+among the pieces here reprinted) being used. The volume was published in
+1841, not by Moxon but by Whitaker. Wordsworth’s versions of “The Cuckoo
+and the Nightingale” (here reprinted), and of a passage taken from
+“Troilus and Cressida,” were included in it. Leigh Hunt contributed
+versions of the Manciple’s Tale and the Friar’s Tale (both here
+reprinted), and of the Squire’s Tale. Elizabeth A. Barrett, afterwards
+Mrs. Browning, contributed a version of “Queen Annelida and False
+Arcite.” Richard Hengist Horne entered heartily into the venture,
+modernised the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales, the Reve’s Tale, and the
+Franklin’s, and wrote an Introduction of more than a hundred pages, to
+which Professor Leonhard Schmitz added thirty-two pages of a Life of
+Chaucer. Robert Bell, to whom we were afterwards indebted for an
+“Annotated Edition of the English Poets,” modernised the Complaint of
+Mars and Venus. Thomas Powell, the editor, contributed his version of
+the Legends of Ariadne, Philomene, and Phillis, and of “The Flower and
+the Leaf,” and a friend, who signed only as Z. A. Z, dealt with “The Rime
+of Sir Thopas.”
+
+After the volume had appeared, Wordsworth thus wrote of it to Professor
+Henry Reed of Philadelphia: “There has recently been published in London
+a volume of some of Chaucer’s tales and poems modernised; this little
+specimen originated in what I attempted with ‘The Prioress’ Tale,’ and if
+the book should find its way to America you will see in it two further
+specimens from myself. I had no further connection with the publication
+than by making a present of these to one of the contributors. Let me,
+however, recommend to your notice the Prologue and the Franklin’s Tale.
+They are both by Mr. Horne, a gentleman unknown to me, but are—the latter
+in particular—very well done. Mr. Leigh Hunt has not failed in the
+Manciple’s Tale, which I myself modernised many years ago; but though I
+much admire the genius of Chaucer as displayed in this performance, I
+could not place my version at the disposal of the editor, as I deemed the
+subject somewhat too indelicate for pure taste to be offered to the world
+at this time of day. Mr. Horne has much hurt this publication by not
+abstaining from the Reve’s Tale. This, after making all allowance for
+the rude manners of Chaucer’s age, is intolerable; and by indispensably
+softening down the incidents, he has killed the spirit of that humour,
+gross and farcical, that pervades the original. When the work was first
+mentioned to me, I protested as strongly as possible against admitting
+any coarseness and indelicacy, so that my conscience is clear of
+countenancing aught of that kind. So great is my admiration of Chaucer’s
+genius, and so profound my reverence for him. . . for spreading the light
+of Literature through his native land, that, notwithstanding the defects
+and faults in this publication, I am glad of it, as a means for making
+many acquainted with the original, who would otherwise be ignorant of
+everything about him but his name.”
+
+Wordsworth’s objection to the Manciple’s Tale from Ovid’s Metamorphoses
+was an afterthought. He had begun by offering his version of it for
+publication in this volume. His objection to Horne’s treatment of the
+Reve’s Tale was reasonable enough. The original tale was the sixth novel
+in the ninth day of the Decameron, and probably was taken by Chaucer from
+a Fabliau by Jean de Boves, “De Gombert et des Deux Clercs.” The same
+story has been imitated in the “Cent Nouvelles Nouvelles,” and in the
+“Berceau” of La Fontaine. Horne’s removal from the tale of everything
+that would offend a modern reader was designed to enable thousands to
+find pleasure in an old farcical piece that would otherwise be left
+unread.
+
+Chaucer’s “Rime of Sir Thopas” was a playful jest on the long-winded
+story-telling of the old romances, and had specially in mind Thomas
+Chestre’s version of Launfal from Marie of France, and the same rhymer’s
+romance of “Ly Beaus Disconus,” who was Gingelein, a son of Gawain,
+called by his mother, for his beauty, only Beaufis (handsome son); but
+when he offered himself in that name to be knighted by King Arthur, he
+was knighted and named by him Li Beaus Disconus (the fair unknown). This
+is the method of the tediousness, in which it showed itself akin to many
+a rhyming tale.
+
+ “And for love of his fair vis
+ His mother clepéd him Beaufis,
+ And none other name;
+ And himselvé was full nis,
+ He ne axéd nought y-wis
+ What he hight at his dame.
+
+ “As it befel upon a day,
+ To wood he went on his play
+ Of deer to have his game;
+ He found a knight, where he lay
+ In armés that were stout and gay,
+ Y-slain and made full tame.
+
+ “That child did off the knightés wede,
+ And anon he gan him schrede
+ In that rich armoúr.
+ When he haddé do that dede,
+ To Glasténburý he gede,
+ There lay the King Arthoúr.
+
+ “He knelde in the hall
+ Before the knightés all,
+ And grette hem with honoúr,
+ And said: ‘Arthoúr, my lord,
+ Grant me to speak a word,
+ I pray thee, par amour.
+
+ “‘I am a child uncouth,
+ And come out of the south,
+ And would be made a knight,
+ Lord, I pray thee nouthe,
+ With thy merry mouthe,
+ Grant me anon right.’
+
+ “Then said Arthoúr the king,
+ ‘Anon, without dwelling,
+ Tell me thy name aplight!
+ For sethen I was ybore,
+ Ne found I me before
+ None so fair of sight.’
+
+ “That child said, ‘By Saint Jame,
+ I not what is my name;
+ I am the moré nis;
+ But while I was at hame
+ My mother, in her game,
+ Clepéd me Beaufis.’
+
+ “Then said Arthoúr the king,
+ ‘This is a wonder thing
+ By God and Saint Denis!
+ When he that would be knight
+ Ne wot not what he hight,
+ And is so fair of vis.
+
+ “‘Now will I give him a name
+ Before you all in same,
+ For he is so fair and free,
+ By God and by Saint Jame,
+ So clepéd him ne’er his dame,
+ What woman so it be.
+
+ “‘Now clepéth him all of us,
+ Li Beaus Disconus,
+ For the love of me!
+ Then may ye wite a rowe,
+ ‘The Faire Unknowe,’
+ Certes, so hatté he.”
+
+John Gower’s “Confessio Amantis” was a story book, like the Canterbury
+Tales, with a contrivance of its own for stringing the tales together,
+and Gower was at work on it nearly about the time when his friend Chaucer
+was busy with his Pilgrims. The story here extracted was an old
+favourite. It appeared in Greek about the year 800, in the romance of
+Barlaam and Josaphat. It was told by Vincent of Beauvais in the year
+1290 in his “Speculum Historiale;” and it was used by Boccaccio for the
+first tale of the tenth day of his “Decameron.”
+
+Chaucer, Gower, Lydgate were the old poetical triumvirate, though
+Lydgate, who was about thirty years old when Chaucer died, has slipped
+much out of mind. His verses on the adventures of the Kentish rustic who
+came to London to get justice in the law courts, and his words set to the
+action of an old piece of rustic mumming, “Bicorn and Chichevache,” here
+represent his vein of playfulness. He was a monk who taught literature
+at Bury St. Edmunds, and was justly looked upon as the chief poet of the
+generation who lived after Chaucer’s death.
+
+Next follows in this volume a scrap of wise counsel to take life
+cheerfully, from the Scottish poet, William Dunbar. He lived at the
+Scottish Court of James the Fourth when Henry the Seventh reigned in
+England, and who was our greatest poet of the north country before Burns.
+
+Next we come to the poets “who so did please Eliza and our James,” and
+represent their playfulness by Drayton’s “Dowsabell,” and that most
+exquisite of fairy pieces, his “Nymphidia,” where Oberon figures as the
+mad Orlando writ small, and Drayton earned his claim to be the Fairies’
+Laureate, though Herrick, in the same vein, followed close upon him.
+Michael Drayton, nearly of an age with Shakespeare, was, like
+Shakespeare, a Warwickshire man. Empty tradition says that Shakespeare
+died of a too festive supper shared with his friend Drayton, who came to
+visit him.
+
+Then follows in this volume the playful treatment of a quarrel between
+friends, in Pope’s “Rape of the Lock.” Lord Petre, aged twenty,
+audaciously cut from the head of Miss Arabella Fermor, daughter of Mr.
+Fermor of Tusmore, a lock of her hair while she was playing cards in the
+Queen’s rooms at Hampton Court. Pope’s friend, Mr. Caryll, suggested to
+him that a mock heroic treatment of the resulting quarrel might restore
+peace, and Pope wrote a poem in two cantos, which was published in a
+Miscellany in 1712, Pope’s age then being twenty-four. But as epic poems
+required supernatural machinery, Pope added afterwards to his mock epic
+the machinery of sylphs and gnomes, suggested to him by the reading of a
+French story, “Le Comte de Gabalis,” by the Abbé Villars. Here there
+were sylphs of the air and gnomes of the earth, little spirits who would
+be in right proportion to the substance of his poem, which was
+refashioned into five cantos, and republished as we have it now in
+February 1714.
+
+“John Gilpin” was written by William Cowper in the year 1782, when Lady
+Austin was lodging in the Vicarage at Olney, and spent every evening with
+Cowper and Mrs. Unwin, cheering Cowper greatly by her liveliness. One
+evening she told the story of John Gilpin’s ride in a way that tickled
+the poet’s fancy, set him laughing when he woke up in the night, and
+obliged him to turn it next day into ballad rhyme. Mrs. Unwin’s son sent
+it to the _Public Advertiser_, for the poet’s corner. It was printed in
+that newspaper, and thought no more of until about three years later.
+Then it was suggested to a popular actor named Henderson, who gave
+entertainments of his own, that this piece would tell well among his
+recitations. He introduced it into his entertainments, and soon all the
+town was running after John Gilpin as madly as the six gentlemen and the
+post-boy.
+
+John Gilpin’s flight is followed in this volume by the flight of Tam o’
+Shanter. Burns wrote “Tam o’ Shanter” at Elliesland, and himself
+considered it the best of all his poems. He told the story to Captain
+Grose, as it was current among the people in his part of the country, its
+scene laid almost on the spot where he was born. Captain Grose, the
+antiquary, who was collecting materials for his “Antiquities of
+Scotland,” published in 1789–91, got Burns to versify it and give it to
+him. The poem made its first appearance, therefore, in Captain Grose’s
+book. Mrs. Burns told of it that it was the work of a day. Burns was
+most of the day on his favourite walk by the river, where his wife and
+some of the children joined him in the afternoon. Mrs. Burns saw that
+her husband was busily engaged “crooning to himsell,” and she loitered
+behind with the little ones among the broom. Presently she was attracted
+by the poet’s strange and wild gesticulations; he seemed agonised with an
+ungovernable joy. He was reciting very loud. Every circumstance
+suggested to heighten the impression of fear in the lines following,
+
+ “By this time he was ’cross the ford
+ Where in the snaw the chapman smoored,” etc.,
+
+was taken from local tradition. Shanter was the real name of a farm near
+Kirkoswald, then occupied by a Douglas Grahame, who was much of Tam’s
+character, and was well content to be called by his country neighbours
+Tam o’ Shanter for the rest of his life, after Burns had made the name of
+the farm immortal.
+
+Our selection ends with two pieces by Thomas Hood, whose “Tale of a
+Trumpet” is luxuriant with play of wit that has its earnest side. Hood
+died in 1845.
+
+A Note upon the Game of Ombre is added, which is founded upon the
+description of the game in a little book—“The Court Gamester”—which
+instructed card-players in the reigns of the first Georges. In the “Rape
+of the Lock” there is a game of ombre played through to the last trick.
+That note will enable any reader to follow Belinda’s play. It will also
+enable any one who may care to do so to restore to a place among our home
+amusements a game which carried all before it in Queen Anne’s day, and
+which is really, when cleared of its gambling details, as good a domestic
+game for three players as cribbage or piquet is for two. My “Court
+Gamester,” which was in its fifth edition in 1728, after devoting its
+best energies to ombre, contented its readers in fewer pages with the
+addition only of piquet and chess.
+
+Obsolete words and words of Scottish dialect, with a few more as to the
+meaning of which some readers might be uncertain, will be found explained
+in the Glossary that ends this volume.
+
+
+
+
+CHAUCER’S
+Manciple’s Tale of Phœbus and the Crow
+
+
+ MODERNISED BY LEIGH HUNT.
+
+
+
+NOTE.
+
+
+_The reader is to understand_, _that all the persons previously described
+in the_ “_Prologue to the Canterbury Tales_” _are now riding on their way
+to that city_, _and each of them telling his tale respectively_, _which
+is preceded by some little bit of incident or conversation on the road_.
+_The agreement_, _suggested by the Host of the Tabard_, _was_, _first_,
+_that each pilgrim should tell a couple of tales while going to
+Canterbury_, _and another couple during the return to London_;
+_secondly_, _that the narrator of the best one of all should sup at the
+expense of the whole party_; _and thirdly_, _that the Host himself should
+be gratuitous guide on the journey_, _and arbiter of all differences by
+the way_, _with power to inflict the payment of travelling expenses upon
+any one who should gainsay his judgment_. _During the intervals of the
+stories he is accordingly the most prominent person_.—LEIGH HUNT.
+
+
+
+_PROLOGUE TO THE MANCIPLE’S TALE_.
+
+
+ WOTTEST {17} thou, reader, of a little town,
+ Which thereabouts they call Bob-up-and-down,
+ Under the Blee, in Canterbury way?
+ Well, there our host began to jest and play,
+ And said, “Hush, hush now: Dun is in the mire.
+ What, sirs? will nobody, for prayer or hire,
+ Wake our good gossip, sleeping here behind?
+ Here were a bundle for a thief to find.
+ See, how he noddeth! by St. Peter, see!
+ He’ll tumble off his saddle presently.
+ Is that a cook of London, red flames take him!
+ He knoweth the agreement—wake him, wake him:
+ We’ll have his tale, to keep him from his nap,
+ Although the drink turn out not worth the tap.
+ Awake, thou cook,” quoth he; “God say thee nay;
+ What aileth thee to sleep thus in the day?
+ Hast thou had fleas all night? or art thou drunk?
+ Or didst thou sup with my good lord the monk,
+ And hast a jolly surfeit in thine head?”
+
+ This cook that was full pale, and nothing red,
+ Stared up, and said unto the host, “God bless
+ My soul, I feel such wondrous heaviness,
+ I know not why, that I would rather sleep
+ Than drink of the best gallon-wine in Cheap.”
+
+ “Well,” quoth the Manciple, “if it might ease
+ Thine head, Sir Cook, and also none displease
+ Of all here riding in this company,
+ And mine host grant it, I would pass thee by,
+ Till thou art better, and so tell _my_ tale;
+ For in good faith thy visage is full pale;
+ Thine eyes grow dull, methinks; and sure I am,
+ Thy breath resembleth not sweet marjoram,
+ Which showeth thou canst utter no good matter:
+ Nay, thou mayst frown forsooth, but I’ll not flatter.
+ See, how he gapeth, lo! this drunken wight;
+ He’ll swallow us all up before he’ll bite;
+ Hold close thy mouth, man, by thy father’s kin;
+ The fiend himself now set his foot therein,
+ And stop it up, for ’twill infect us all;
+ Fie, hog; fie, pigsty; foul thy grunt befall.
+ Ah—see, he bolteth! there, sirs, was a swing;
+ Take heed—he’s bent on tilting at the ring:
+ He’s the shape, isn’t he? to tilt and ride!
+ Eh, you mad fool! go to your straw, and hide.”
+
+ Now with this speech the cook for rage grew black,
+ And would have stormed, but could not speak, alack!
+ So mumbling something, from his horse fell he,
+ And where he fell, there lay he patiently,
+ Till pity on his shame his fellows took.
+ Here was a pretty horseman of a cook!
+ Alas! that he had held not by his ladle!
+ And ere again they got him on his saddle,
+ There was a mighty shoving to and fro
+ To lift him up, and muckle care and woe,
+ So heavy was this carcase of a ghost.
+ Then to the Manciple thus spake our host:—
+ “Since drink upon this man hath domination,
+ By nails! and as I reckon my salvation,
+ I trow he would have told a sorry tale;
+ For whether it be wine, or it be ale,
+ That he hath drank, he speaketh through the nose,
+ And sneezeth much, and he hath got the _pose_, {19}
+ And also hath given us business enow
+ To keep him on his horse, out of the slough;
+ He’ll fall again, if he be driven to speak,
+ And then, where are we, for a second week?
+ Why, lifting up his heavy drunken corse!
+ Tell on thy tale, and look we to his horse.
+ Yet, Manciple, in faith thou art too nice
+ Thus openly to chafe him for his vice.
+ Perchance some day he’ll do as much for thee,
+ And bring thy baker’s bills in jeopardy,
+ Thy black jacks also, and thy butcher’s matters,
+ And whether they square nicely with thy platters.”
+
+ “Mine,” quoth the Manciple, “were then the mire!
+ Much rather would I pay his horse’s hire,
+ And that will be no trifle, mud and all,
+ Than risk the peril of so sharp a fall.
+ I did but jest. Score not, ye’ll be not scored.
+ And guess ye what? I have here, in my gourd,
+ A draught of wine, better was never tasted,
+ And with this cook’s ladle will I be basted,
+ If he don’t drink of it, right lustily.
+ Upon my life he’ll not say nay. Now see.”
+
+ And true it was, the cook drank fast enough;
+ Down went the drink out of the gourd, _fluff_, _fluff_:
+ Alas! the man had had enough before:
+ And then, betwixt a trumpet and a snore,
+ His nose said something,—grace for what he had;
+ And of that drink the cook was wondrous glad.
+
+ Our host nigh burst with laughter at the sight,
+ And sighed and wiped his eyes for pure delight,
+ And said, “Well, I perceive it’s necessary,
+ Where’er we go, good wine with us to carry.
+ What needeth in this world more strifes befall?
+ Good wine’s the doctor to appease them all.
+ O, Bacchus, Bacchus! blessed be thy name,
+ That thus canst turn our earnest into game.
+ Worship and thanks be to thy deity.
+ So on this head ye get no more from me.
+ Tell on thy tale, Manciple, I thee pray.”
+
+ “Well, sire,” quoth he, “now hark to what I say.”
+
+
+
+
+The Manciple’s Tale of Phœbus and the Crow.
+
+
+ WHEN Phœbus dwelt with men, in days of yore,
+ He was the very lustiest bachelor
+ Of all the world; and shot in the best bow.
+ ’Twas he, as the old books of stories show,
+ That shot the serpent Python, as he lay
+ Sleeping against the sun, upon a day:
+ And many another noble worthy deed
+ He did with that same bow, as men may read.
+
+ He played all kinds of music: and so clear
+ His singing was, and such a heaven to hear,
+ Men might not speak during his madrigal.
+ Amphion, king of Thebes, that put a wall
+ About the city with his melody,
+ Certainly sang not half so well as he.
+ And add to this, he was the seemliest man
+ That is, or has been, since the world began.
+ What needs describe his beauty? since there’s none
+ With which to make the least comparison.
+ In brief, he was the flower of _gentilesse_, {21}
+ Of honour, and of perfect worthiness:
+ And yet, take note, for all this mastery,
+ This Phœbus was of cheer so frank and free,
+ That for his sport, and to commend the glory
+ He gat him o’er the snake (so runs the story),
+ He used to carry in his hand a bow.
+
+ Now this same god had in his house a crow,
+ Which in a cage he fostered many a day,
+ And taught to speak, as folks will teach a jay.
+ White was the crow; as is a snow-white swan,
+ And could repeat a tale told by a man,
+ And sing. No nightingale, down in a dell,
+ Could sing one-hundred-thousandth part so well.
+
+ Now had this Phœbus in his house a wife
+ Which that he loved beyond his very life:
+ And night and day did all his diligence
+ To please her well, and do her reverence;
+ Save only, to speak truly, _inter nos_,
+ Jealous he was, and would have kept her close:
+ He wished not to be treated monstrously:
+ Neither does any man, no more than he;
+ Only to hinder wives, it serveth nought;—
+ A good wife, that is clean of work and thought,
+ No man would dream of hindering such a way.
+ And just as bootless is it, night or day,
+ Hindering a shrew; for it will never be.
+ I hold it for a very foppery,
+ Labour in vain, this toil to hinder wives,
+ Old writers always say so, in their Lives.
+
+ But to my story, as it first began.
+ This worthy Phœbus doeth all he can
+ To please his wife, in hope, so pleasing her,
+ That she, for her part, would herself bestir
+ Discreetly, so as not to lose his grace;
+ But, Lord he knows, there’s no man shall embrace
+ A thing so close, as to restrain what Nature
+ Hath naturally set in any creature.
+
+ Take any bird, and put it in a cage,
+ And do thy best and utmost to engage
+ The bird to love it; give it meat and drink,
+ And every dainty housewives can bethink,
+ And keep the cage as cleanly as you may,
+ And let it be with gilt never so gay,
+ Yet had this bird, by twenty-thousand-fold,
+ Rather be in a forest wild and cold,
+ And feed on worms and suchlike wretchedness;
+ Yea, ever will he tax his whole address
+ To get out of the cage when that he may:—
+ His liberty the bird desireth aye.
+
+ So, take a cat, and foster her with milk
+ And tender meat, and make her bed of silk,
+ Yet let her see a mouse go by the wall,
+ The devil may take, for her, silk, milk, and all,
+ And every dainty that is in the house;
+ Such appetite hath she to eat the mouse.
+ Lo, here hath Nature plainly domination,
+ And appetite renounceth education.
+
+ A she-wolf likewise hath a villain’s kind:
+ The worst and roughest wolf that she can find,
+ Or least of reputation, will she wed,
+ When the time comes to make her marriage-bed.
+
+ But misinterpret not my speech, I pray;
+ All this of men, not women, do I say;
+ For men it is, that come and spoil the lives
+ Of such, as but for them, would make good wives.
+ They leave their own wives, be they never so fair,
+ Never so true, never so debonair,
+ And take the lowest they may find, for change.
+ Flesh, the fiend take it, is so given to range,
+ It never will continue, long together,
+ Contented with good, steady, virtuous weather.
+
+ This Phœbus, while on nothing ill thought he,
+ Jilted he was, for all his jollity;
+ For under him, his wife, at her heart’s-root,
+ Another had, a man of small repute,
+ Not worth a blink of Phœbus; more’s the pity;
+ Too oft it falleth so, in court and city.
+ This wife, when Phœbus was from home one day,
+ Sent for her lemman then, without delay.
+ Her lemman!—a plain word, I needs must own;
+ Forgive it me; for Plato hath laid down,
+ The word must suit according with the deed;
+ Word is work’s cousin-german, ye may read:
+ I’m a plain man, and what I say is this:
+ Wife high, wife low, if bad, both do amiss:
+ But because one man’s wench sitteth above,
+ She shall be called his Lady and his Love;
+ And because t’other’s sitteth low and poor,
+ She shall be called,—Well, well, I say no more;
+ Only God knoweth, man, mine own dear brother,
+ One wife is laid as low, just, as the other.
+
+ Right so betwixt a lawless, mighty chief
+ And a rude outlaw, or an arrant thief,
+ Knight arrant or thief arrant, all is one;
+ Difference, as Alexander learnt, there’s none;
+ But for the chief is of the greater might,
+ By force of numbers, to slay all outright,
+ And burn, and waste, and make as flat as floor,
+ Lo, therefore is he clept a conqueror;
+ And for the other hath his numbers less,
+ And cannot work such mischief and distress,
+ Nor be by half so wicked as the chief,
+ Men clepen him an outlaw and a thief.
+
+ However, I am no text-spinning man;
+ So to my tale I go, as I began.
+
+ Now with her lemman is this Phœbus’ wife;
+ The crow he sayeth nothing, for his life;
+ Caged hangeth he, and sayeth not a word;
+ But when that home was come Phœbus the lord,
+ He singeth out, and saith,—“Cuckoo! cuckoo!”
+ “Hey!” crieth Phœbus, “here be something new;
+ Thy song was wont to cheer me. What is this?”
+ “By Jove!” quoth Corvus, “I sing not amiss.
+ Phœbus,” quoth he; “for all thy worthiness,
+ For all thy beauty and all thy gentilesse,
+ For all thy song and all thy minstrelsy,
+ And all thy watching, blearéd is thine eye;
+ Yea, and by one no worthier than a gnat,
+ Compared with him should boast to wear thine hat.”
+
+ What would you more? the crow hath told him all;
+ This woful god hath turned him to the wall
+ To hide his tears: he thought ’twould burst his heart;
+ He bent his bow, and set therein a dart,
+ And in his ire he hath his wife yslain;
+ He hath; he felt such anger and such pain;
+ For sorrow of which he brake his minstrelsy,
+ Both harp and lute, gittern and psaltery,
+ And then he brake his arrows and his bow,
+ And after that, thus spake he to the crow:—
+
+ “Traitor,” quoth he, “behold what thou hast done;
+ Made me the saddest wretch beneath the sun:
+ Alas! why was I born! O dearest wife,
+ Jewel of love and joy, my only life,
+ That wert to me so steadfast and so true,
+ There liest thou dead; why am not I so too?
+ Full innocent thou wert, that durst I swear;
+ O hasty hand, to bring me to despair!
+ O troubled wit, O anger without thought,
+ That unadviséd smitest, and for nought:
+ O heart of little faith, full of suspicion,
+ Where was thy handsomeness and thy discretion?
+ O every man, hold hastiness in loathing;
+ Believe, without strong testimony, nothing;
+ Smite not too soon, before ye well know why;
+ And be adviséd well and soberly
+ Before ye trust yourselves to the commission
+ Of any ireful deed upon suspicion.
+ Alas! a thousand folk hath hasty ire
+ Foully foredone, and brought into the mire.
+ Alas! I’ll kill myself for misery.”
+
+ And to the crow, “O thou false thief!” said he,
+ “I’ll quit thee, all thy life, for thy false tale;
+ Thou shalt no more sing like the nightingale,
+ Nor shalt thou in those fair white feathers go,
+ Thou silly thief, thou false, black-hearted crow;
+ Nor shalt thou ever speak like man again;
+ Thou shalt not have the power to give such pain;
+ Nor shall thy race wear any coat but black,
+ And ever shall their voices crone and crack
+ And be a warning against wind and rain,
+ In token that by thee my wife was slain.”
+
+ So to the crow he started, like one mad,
+ And tore out every feather that he had,
+ And made him black, and reft him of his stores
+ Of song and speech, and flung him out of doors
+ Unto the devil; whence never come he back,
+ Say I. Amen. And hence all crows are black.
+
+ Lordings, by this example I you pray
+ Take heed, and be discreet in what you say;
+ And above all, tell no man, for your life,
+ How that another man hath kissed his wife.
+ He’ll hate you mortally; be sure of that;
+ Dan Solomon, in teacher’s chair that sat,
+ Bade us keep all our tongues close as we can;
+ But, as I said, I’m no text-spinning man,
+ Only, I must say, thus taught me my dame; {26}
+ My son, think on the crow in God his name;
+ My son, keep well thy tongue, and keep thy friend;
+ A wicked tongue is worse than any fiend;
+ My son, a fiend’s a thing for to keep down;
+ My son, God in his great discretion
+ Walléd a tongue with teeth, and eke with lips,
+ That man may think, before his speech out slips.
+ A little speech spoken advisedly
+ Brings none in trouble, speaking generally.
+ My son, thy tongue thou always shouldst restrain,
+ Save only at such times thou dost thy pain
+ To speak of God in honour and in prayer;
+ The chiefest virtue, son, is to beware
+ How thou lett’st loose that endless thing, thy tongue;
+ This every soul is taught, when he is young:
+ My son, of muckle speaking ill-advised,
+ And where a little speaking had sufficed,
+ Com’th muckle harm. This was me told and taught,—
+ In muckle speaking, sinning wanteth nought.
+ Know’st thou for what a tongue that’s hasty serveth?
+ Right as a sword forecutteth and forecarveth
+ An arm in two, my dear son, even so
+ A tongue clean-cutteth friendship at a blow.
+ A jangler is to God abominable:
+ Read Solomon, so wise and honourable;
+ Read David in his Psalms, read Seneca;
+ My son, a nod is better than a say;
+ Be deaf, when folk speak matter perilous;
+ Small prate, sound pate,—guardeth the Fleming’s house.
+ My son, if thou no wicked word hast spoken,
+ Thou never needest fear a pate ybroken;
+ But he that hath missaid, I dare well say,
+ His fingers shall find blood thereon, some day.
+ Thing that is said, is said; it may not back
+ Be called, for all your “Las!” and your “Alack!”
+ And he is that man’s thrall to whom ’twas said;
+ Cometh the bond some day, and will be paid.
+ My son, beware, and be no author new
+ Of tidings, whether they be false or true:
+ Go wheresoe’er thou wilt, ’mongst high or low,
+ Keep well thy tongue, and think upon the crow.
+
+
+
+
+CHAUCER’S
+Rime of Sir Thopas
+
+
+ MODERNISED BY Z. A. Z.
+
+
+
+_PROLOGUE TO SIR THOPAS_.
+
+
+ 1.
+
+ NOW when the Prioress had done, each man
+ So serious looked, ’twas wonderful to see!
+ Till our good host to banter us began,
+ And then at last he cast his eyes on me,
+ And jeering said, “What man art thou?” quoth he,
+ “That lookest down as thou wouldst find a hare,
+ For ever upon the ground I see thee stare.
+
+ 2.
+
+ “Approach me near, and look up merrily!
+ Now make way, sirs! and let this man have place.
+ He in the waist is shaped as well as I:
+ This were a poppet in an arm’s embrace,
+ For any woman, small and fair of face.
+ He seemeth elf-like by his countenance,
+ For with no wight holdeth he dalliance.
+
+ 3.
+
+ “Say somewhat now, since other folks have said;
+ Tell us a tale o’ mirth, and that anon.”
+ “Host,” quoth I then, “be not so far misled,
+ For other tales except this know I none;
+ A little rime I learned in years agone.”
+ “Ah! that is well,” quoth he; “now we shall hear
+ Some dainty thing, methinketh, by thy cheer.”
+
+
+
+The Rime of Sir Thopas.
+
+
+FYTTE THE FIRST. {30}
+
+
+ 1.
+
+ LISTEN, lordlings, in good intent,
+ And I will tell you _verament_
+ Of mirth and chivalry,
+ About a knight on glory bent,
+ In battle and in tournament;
+ Sir Thopas named was he.
+
+ 2.
+
+ And he was born in a far countréy,
+ In Flanders, all beyond the sea,
+ At Popering in the place;
+ His father was a man full free,
+ And of that country lord was he,
+ Enjoyed by holy grace.
+
+ 3.
+
+ Sir Thopas was a doughty swain,
+ Fair was his face as _pain de Maine_,
+ His lips were red as rose;
+ His ruddy cheeks like scarlet grain;
+ And I tell you in good certaine,
+ He had a seemly nose.
+
+ 4.
+
+ His hair and beard like saffron shone,
+ And to his girdle fell adown;
+ His shoes of leather bright;
+ Of Bruges were his hose so brown,
+ His robe it was of ciclatoun—
+ He was a costly wight:
+
+ 5.
+
+ Well could he hunt the strong wild deer,
+ And ride a hawking for his cheer
+ With grey goshawk on hand;
+ His archery filled the woods with fear,
+ In wrestling eke he had no peer,—
+ No man ’gainst him could stand.
+
+ 6.
+
+ Full many a maiden bright in bower
+ Was sighing for him _par amour_
+ Between her prayers and sleep,
+ But he was chaste, beyond their power,
+ And sweet as is the bramble flower
+ That beareth the red hip.
+
+ 7.
+
+ And so it fell upon a day,
+ Forsooth, as I now sing and say,
+ Sir Thopas went to ride;
+ He rode upon his courser grey,
+ And in his hand a lance so gay,
+ A long sword by his side.
+
+ 8.
+
+ He rode along a forest fair,
+ Many a wild beast dwelling there;
+ (Mercy in heaven defend!)
+ And there was also buck and hare;
+ And as he went, he very near
+ Met with a sorry end.
+
+ 9.
+
+ And herbs sprang up, or creeping ran;
+ The liquorice, and valerian,
+ Clove-gillyflowers, sun-dressed;
+ And nutmeg, good to put in ale,
+ Whether it be moist or stale,—
+ Or to lay sweet in chest,
+
+ 10.
+
+ The birds all sang, as tho’ ’twere May;
+ The spearhawk, {32} and the popinjay,
+ It was a joy to hear;
+ The throstle cock made eke his lay,
+ The wood-dove sung upon the spray,
+ With note full loud and clear.
+
+ 11.
+
+ Sir Thopas fell in love-longing
+ All when he heard the throstle sing,
+ And spurred his horse like mad,
+ So that all o’er the blood did spring,
+ And eke the white foam you might wring:
+ The steed in foam seemed clad.
+
+ 12.
+
+ Sir Thopas eke so weary was
+ Of riding on the fine soft grass,
+ While love burnt in his breast,
+ That down he laid him in that place
+ To give his courser some soláce,
+ Some forage and some rest.
+
+ 13.
+
+ Saint Mary! benedicite!
+ What meaneth all this love in me,
+ That haunts me in the wood?
+ This night, in dreaming, did I see
+ An elf queen shall my true love be,
+ And sleep beneath my hood.
+
+ 14.
+
+ An elf queen will I love, I wis,
+ For in this world no woman is
+ Worthy to be my bride;
+ All other damsels I forsake,
+ And to an elf queen will I take,
+ By grove and streamlet’s side.
+
+ 15.
+
+ Into his saddle be clomb anon,
+ And pricketh over stile and stone,
+ An elf queen to espy;
+ Till he so long had ridden and gone,
+ That he at last upon a morn
+ The fairy land came nigh.
+
+ 16.
+
+ Therein he sought both far and near,
+ And oft he spied in daylight clear
+ Through many a forest wild;
+ But in that wondrous land I ween,
+ No living wight by him was seen,
+ Nor woman, man, nor child.
+
+ 17.
+
+ At last there came a giant gaunt,
+ And he was named Sir Oliphaunt,
+ A perilous man of deed:
+ And he said, “Childe, by Termagaunt,
+ If thou ride not from this my haunt,
+ Soon will I slay thy steed
+ With this victorious mace;
+ For here’s the lovely Queen of Faery,
+ With harp and pipe and symphony,
+ A-dwelling in this place.”
+
+ 18.
+
+ Childe Thopas said right haughtily,
+ “To-morrow will I combat thee
+ In armour bright as flower;
+ And then I promise ‘_par ma fay_’
+ That thou shalt feel this javelin gay,
+ And dread its wondrous power.
+ To-morrow we shall meet again,
+ And I will pierce thee, if I may,
+ Upon the golden prime of day;—
+ And here you shall be slain.”
+
+ 19.
+
+ Sir Thopas drew aback full fast;
+ The giant at him huge stones cast,
+ Which from a staff-sling fly;
+ But well escaped the Childe Thopás,
+ And it was all through God’s good grace,
+ And through his bearing high.
+
+ 20.
+
+ Still listen, gentles, to my tale,
+ Merrier than the nightingale;—
+ For now I must relate,
+ How that Sir Thopas rideth o’er
+ Hill and dale and bright sea-shore,
+ E’en to his own estate.
+
+ 21.
+
+ His merry men commandeth he
+ To make for him the game and glee;
+ For needs he must soon fight
+ With a giant fierce, with strong heads three,
+ For paramour and jollity,
+ And chivalry so bright.
+
+ 22.
+
+ “Come forth,” said he, “my minstrels fair,
+ And tell me tales right debonair,
+ While I am clad and armed;
+ Romances, full of real tales,
+ Of dames, and popes, and cardinals,
+ And maids by wizards charmed.”
+
+ 23.
+
+ They bore to him the sweetest wine
+ In silver cup; the muscadine,
+ With spices rare of Ind;
+ Fine gingerbread, in many a slice,
+ With cummin seed, and liquorice,
+ And sugar thrice refined.
+
+ 24.
+
+ Then next to his white skin he ware
+ A cloth of fleecy wool, as fair,
+ Woven into a shirt;
+ Next that he put a cassock on,
+ And over that an habergeon, {35}
+ To guard right well his heart.
+
+ 25.
+
+ And over that a hauberk went
+ Of Jews’ work, and most excellent;
+ Full strong was every plate;
+ And over that his coat armoúre,
+ As white as is the lily flower,
+ In which he would debate.
+
+ 26.
+
+ His shield was all of gold so red,
+ And thereon was a wild boar’s head,
+ A carbuncle beside;
+ And then he swore on ale and bread,
+ How that the giant should be dead,
+ Whatever should betide!
+
+ 27.
+
+ His boots were glazed right curiously,
+ His sword-sheath was of ivory,
+ His helm all brassy bright;
+ His saddle was of jet-black bone,
+ His bridle like the bright sun shone,
+ Or like the clear moons light,
+
+ 28.
+
+ His spear was of the cypress tree,
+ That bodeth battle right and free;
+ The point full sharp was ground;
+ His steed it was a dapple grey,
+ That goeth an amble on the way,
+ Full softly and full round.
+
+ 29.
+
+ Lo! lordlings mine, here ends one fytte
+ Of this my tale, a gallant strain;
+ And if ye will hear more of it,
+ I’ll soon begin again.
+
+
+FYTTE THE SECOND.
+
+
+ 1.
+
+ Now hold your speech for charity,
+ Both gallant knight and lady free,
+ And hearken to my song
+ Of battle and of chivalry,
+ Of ladies’ love and minstrelsy,
+ All ambling thus along.
+
+ 2.
+
+ Men speak much of old tales, I know;
+ Of Hornchild, Ipotis, alsó
+ Of Bevis and Sir Guy;
+ Of Sire Libeaux, and Pleindamour;
+ But Sire Thopas, he is the flower
+ Of real chivalry.
+
+ 3.
+
+ Now was his gallant steed bestrode,
+ And forth upon his way he rode,
+ As spark flies from a brand;
+ Upon his crest he bare a tower,
+ And therein stuck a lily flower:
+ Save him from giant hand.
+
+ 4.
+
+ He was a knight in battle bred,
+ And in no house would seek his bed,
+ But laid him in the wood;
+ His pillow was his helmet bright,—
+ His horse grazed by him all the night
+ On herbs both fine and good.
+
+ 5.
+
+ And he drank water from the well,
+ As did the knight Sir Percival,
+ So worthy under weed;
+ Till on a day—
+
+ [_Here Chaucer is interrupted in his Rime_.]
+
+
+
+_EPILOGUE TO RIME_.
+
+
+ “No more of this, for Heaven’s high dignity!”
+ Quoth then our Host, “for, lo! thou makest me
+ So weary of thy very simpleness,
+ That all so wisely may the Lord me bless,
+ My very ears, with thy dull rubbish, ache.
+ Now such a rime at once let Satan take.
+ This may be well called ‘doggrel rime,’” quoth he.
+ “Why so?” quoth I; “why wilt thou not let me
+ Tell all my tale, like any other man,
+ Since that it is the best rime that I can?”
+ “Mass!” quoth our Host, “if that I hear aright,
+ Thy scraps of rhyming are not worth a mite;
+ Thou dost nought else but waste away our time:—
+ Sir, at one word, thou shalt no longer rhyme.”
+
+
+
+
+CHAUCER’S
+Friar’s Tale; Or, The Sumner And The Devil.
+
+
+ MODERNISED BY LEIGH HUNT.
+
+ THERE lived, sirs, in my country, formerly,
+ A wondrous great archdeacon,—who but he?
+ Who boldly did the work of his high station
+ In punishing improper conversation,
+ And all the slidings thereunto belonging;
+ Witchcraft, and scandal also, and the wronging
+ Of holy Church, by blinking of her dues
+ In sacraments and contracts, wills and pews;
+ Usury furthermore, and simony;
+ But people of ill lives most loathéd he:
+ Lord! how he made them sing if they were caught.
+ And tithe-defaulters, ye may guess, were taught
+ Never to venture on the like again;
+ To the last farthing would he rack and strain.
+ For stinted tithes, or stinted offering,
+ He made the people piteously to sing.
+ He left no leg for the good bishop’s crook;
+ Down went the black sheep in his own black book;
+ For when the name gat there, such dereliction
+ Came, you must know, sirs, in his jurisdiction.
+
+ He had a Sumner ready to his hand;
+ A slyer bully filched not in the land;
+ For in all parts the villain had his spies
+ To let him know where profit might arise.
+ Well could he spare ill livers, three or four,
+ To help his net to four-and-twenty more.
+ ’Tis truth. Your Sumner may stare hard for me;
+ I shall not screen, not I, his villainy;
+ For heaven be thanked, _laudetur Dominus_,
+ They have no hold, these cursed thieves, on us;
+ Nor never shall have, let ’em thieve till doom.
+
+ [“No,” cried the Sumner, starting from his gloom,
+ “Nor have we any hold, Sir Shaven-crown,
+ On your fine flock, the ladies of the town.”
+ “Peace, with a vengeance,” quoth our Host, “and let
+ The tale be told. Say on, thou marmoset,
+ Thou lady’s friar, and let the Sumner sniff.”]
+
+ “Well,” quoth the Friar; “this Sumner, this false thief,
+ Had scouts in plenty ready to his hand,
+ Like any hawks, the sharpest in the land,
+ Watching their birds to pluck, each in his mew,
+ Who told him all the secrets that they knew,
+ And lured him game, and gat him wondrous profit;
+ Exceeding little knew his master of it.
+ Sirs, he would go, without a writ, and take
+ Poor wretches up, feigning it for Christ’s sake,
+ And threatening the poor people with his curse,
+ And all the while would let them fill his purse,
+ And to the alehouse bring him by degrees,
+ And then he’d drink with them, and slap his knees
+ For very mirth, and say ’twas some mistake.
+ Judas carried the bag, sirs, for Christ’s sake,
+ And was a thief; and such a thief was he;
+ His master got but sorry share, _pardie_.
+ To give due laud unto this Satan’s imp,
+ He was a thief, a Sumner, and a pimp.
+
+ Wenches themselves were in his retinue;
+ So whether ’twas Sir Robert, or Sir Hugh,
+ Or Jack, or Ralph, that held the damsel dear,
+ Come would she then, and tell it in his ear:
+ Thus were the wench and he of one accord;
+ And he would feign a mandate from his lord,
+ And summon them before the court, those two,
+ And pluck the man, and let the mawkin go.
+ Then would he say, “Friend, for thine honest look,
+ I save thy name, this once, from the black book;
+ Thou hear’st no further of this case.”—But, Lord!
+ I might not in two years his bribes record.
+ There’s not a dog alive, so speed my soul,
+ Knoweth a hurt deer better from a whole
+ Than this false Sumner knew a tainted sheep,
+ Or where this wretch would skulk, or that would sleep,
+ Or to fleece both was more devoutly bent;
+ And reason good; his faith was in his rent.
+
+ And so befell, that once upon a day,
+ This Sumner, prowling ever for his prey,
+ Rode forth to cheat a poor old widowed soul,
+ Feigning a cause for lack of protocol,
+ And as he went, he saw before him ride
+ A yeoman gay under the forest side.
+ A bow he bare, and arrows bright and keen;
+ And he was clad in a short cloak of green,
+ And wore a hat that had a fringe of black.
+
+ “Sir,” quoth this Sumner, shouting at his back,
+ “Hail, and well met.”—“Well met,” like shouteth he;
+ “Where ridest thou under the greenwood tree?
+ Goest thou far, thou jolly boy, to-day?”
+ This bully Sumner answered, and said, “Nay,
+ Only hard-by, to strain a rent.”—“Hoh! hoh!
+ Art thou a bailiff then?”—“Yea, even so.”
+ For he durst not, for very filth and shame,
+ Say that he was a Sumner, for the name.
+ “Well met, in God’s name,” quoth black fringe; “why, brother,
+ Thou art a bailiff then, and I’m another;
+ But I’m a stranger in these parts; so, prythee,
+ Lend me thine aid, and let me journey with thee.
+ I’ve gold and silver, plenty, where I dwell;
+ And if thou hap’st to come into our dell,
+ Lord! how we’ll do our best to give thee greeting!”
+ “Thanks,” quoth the Sumner; “merry be our meeting.”
+ So in each other’s hand their troths they lay,
+ And swear accord: and forth they ride and play.
+
+ This Sumner then, which was as full of stir,
+ And prate, and prying, as a woodpecker,
+ And ever inquiring upon everything,
+ Said, “Brother, where is thine inhabiting,
+ In case I come to find thee out some day?”
+
+ This yeoman dropped his speech in a soft way,
+ And said, “Far in the north. But ere we part, {42}
+ I trow thou shalt have learnt it so by heart,
+ Thou mayst not miss it, be it dark as pitch.”
+
+ “Good,” quoth the Sumner. “Now, as thou art rich,
+ Show me, dear brother, riding thus with me,
+ Since we are bailiffs both, some subtlety,
+ How I may play my game best, and may win:
+ And spare not, pray, for conscience or for sin,
+ But, as my brother, tell me how do ye.”
+
+ “Why, ’faith, to tell thee a plain tale,” quoth he,
+ “As to my wages, they be poor enough;
+ My lord’s a dangerous master, hard and chuff;
+ And since my labour bringeth but abortion,
+ I live, so please ye, brother, by extortion,
+ I take what I can get; that is my course;
+ By cunning, if I may; if not, by force;
+ So cometh, year by year, my salary.”
+ “Now certes,” quote the Sumner, “so fare I.
+ I lay my hands on everything, God wot,
+ Unless it be too heavy or too hot.
+ What I may get in counsel, privily,
+ I feel no sort of qualm thereon, not I.
+ Extortion or starvation;—that’s my creed.
+ Repent who list. The best of saints must feed.
+ That’s all the stomach that my conscience knoweth.
+ Curse on the ass that to confession goeth.
+ Well be we met, ’Od’s heart! and by my dame!
+ But tell me, brother dear, what is thy name?”
+
+ Now ye must know, that right in this meanwhile,
+ This yeoman ’gan a little for to smile.
+ “Brother,” quoth he, “my name, if I must tell—
+ I am a fiend: my dwelling is in hell:
+ And here I ride about my fortuning,
+ To wot if folk will give me anything.
+ To that sole end ride I, and ridest thou;
+ And, without pulling rein, will I ride now
+ To the world’s end, ere I will lose a prey.”
+
+ “God bless me,” quoth the Sumner, “what d’ye say?
+ I thought ye were a yeoman verily.
+ Ye have a man’s shape, sir, as well as I.
+ Have ye a shape then, pray, determinate
+ In hell, good sir, where ye have your estate?”
+
+ “Nay, certainly,” quoth he, “there have we none;
+ But whoso liketh it, he taketh one;
+ And so we make folk think us what we please.
+ Sometimes we go like apes, sometimes like bees,
+ Like man, or angel, black dog, or black crow:—
+ Nor is it wondrous that it should be so.
+ A sorry juggler can bewilder thee;
+ And ’faith, I think I know more craft than he.”
+
+ “But why,” inquired the Sumner, “must ye don
+ So many shapes, when ye might stick to one?”
+ “We suit the bait unto the fish,” quoth he.
+ “And why,” quoth t’other, “all this slavery?”
+ “For many a cause, Sir Sumner,” quoth the fiend;
+ “But time is brief—the day will have an end;
+ And here jog I, with nothing for my ride;
+ Catch we our fox, and let this theme abide:
+ For, brother mine, thy wit it is too small
+ To understand me, though I told thee all;
+ And yet, as toucheth that same slavery,
+ A devil must do God’s work, ’twixt you and me;
+ For without Him, albeit to our loathing,
+ Strong as we go, we devils can do nothing;
+ Though to our prayers, sometimes, He giveth leave
+ Only the body, not the soul, to grieve.
+ Witness good Job, whom nothing could make wrath;
+ And sometimes have we power to harass both;
+ And, then again, soul only is possest,
+ And body free; and all is for the best.
+ Full many a sinner would have no salvation,
+ Gat it he not by standing our temptation:
+ Though God He knows, ’twas far from our intent
+ To save the man:—his howl was what we meant.
+ Nay, sometimes we be servants to our foes:
+ Witness the saint that pulled my master’s nose;
+ And to the apostle servant eke was I.”
+ “Yet tell me,” quoth this Sumner, “faithfully,
+ Are the new shapes ye take for your intents
+ Fresh every time, and wrought of elements?”
+ “Nay,” quoth the fiend, “sometimes they be disguises;
+ And sometimes in a corpse a devil rises,
+ And speaks as sensibly, and fair, and well,
+ As did the Pythoness to Samuel:
+ And yet will some men say, it was not he!
+ Lord help, say I, this world’s divinity.
+ Of one thing make thee sure; that thou shalt know,
+ Before we part, the shapes we wear below.
+ Thou shalt—I jest thee not—the Lord forbid!
+ Thou shalt know more than ever Virgil did,
+ Or Dante’s self. So let us on, sweet brother,
+ And stick, like right warm souls, to one another:
+ I’ll never quit thee, till thou quittest me.”
+
+ “Nay,” quoth the Sumner, “that can never be;
+ I am a man well known, respectable;
+ And though thou wert the very lord of hell,
+ Hold thee I should as mine own plighted brother:
+ Doubt not we’ll stick right fast, each to the other:
+ And, as we think alike, so will we thrive:
+ We twain will be the merriest devils alive.
+ Take thou what’s given; for that’s thy mode, God wot;
+ And I will take, whether ’tis given or not.
+ And if that either winneth more than t’other,
+ Let him be true, and share it with his brother.”
+
+ “Done,” quoth the fiend, whose eyes in secret glowed;
+ And with that word they pricked along the road:
+ And soon it fell, that entering the town’s end,
+ To which this Sumner shaped him for to wend,
+ They saw a cart that loaded was with hay,
+ The which a carter drove forth on his way.
+ Deep was the mire, and sudden the cart stuck:
+ The carter, like a madman, smote and struck,
+ And cried, “Heit, Scot; heit, Brock! What! is’t the stones?
+ The devil clean fetch ye both, body and bones:
+ Must I do nought but bawl and swinge all day?
+ Devil take the whole—horse, harness, cart, and hay.”
+
+ The Sumner whispered to the fiend, “I’ faith,
+ We have it here. Hear’st thou not what he saith?
+ Take it anon, for he hath given it thee,
+ Live stock and dead, hay, cart, and horses three!”
+
+ “Nay,” quoth the fiend, “not so;—the deuce a bit.
+ He sayeth; but, alas! not meaneth it:
+ Ask him thyself, if thou believ’st not me;
+ Or else be still awhile, and thou shalt see.”
+
+ Thwacketh the man his horses on the croup,
+ And they begin to draw now, and to stoop.
+ “_Heit_ there,” quoth he; “_heit_, _heit_; ah, _matthywo_.
+ Lord love their hearts! how prettily they go!
+ That was well twitched, methinks, mine own grey boy:
+ I pray God save thy body, and Saint Eloy.
+ Now is my cart out of the slough, _pardie_.”
+
+ “There,” quoth the fiend unto the Sumner; “see,
+ I told thee how ’twould fall. Thou seest, dear brother,
+ The churl spoke one thing, but he thought another.
+ Let us prick on, for we take nothing here.”
+
+ And when from out the town they had got clear,
+ The Sumner said, “Here dwelleth an old witch,
+ That had as lief be tumbled in a ditch
+ And break her neck, as part with an old penny.
+ Nathless her twelve pence is as good as any,
+ And I will have it, though she lose her wits;
+ Or else I’ll cite her with a score of writs:
+ And yet, God wot, I know of her no vice.
+ So learn of me, Sir Fiend: thou art too nice.”
+
+ The Sumner clappeth at the widow’s gate.
+ “Come out,” he saith, “thou hag, thou quiver-pate:
+ I trow thou hast some friar or priest with thee.”
+ “Who clappeth?” said this wife; “ah, what say ye?
+ God save ye, masters: what is your sweet will?”
+ “I have,” said he, “of summons here a bill:
+ Take care, on pain of cursing, that thou be
+ To-morrow morn, before the Archdeacon’s knee,
+ To answer to the court of certain things.”
+
+ “Now, Lord,” quoth she, “sweet Jesu, King of kings,
+ So help me, as I cannot, sirs, nor may:
+ I have been sick, and that full many a day.
+ I may not walk such distance, nay, nor ride,
+ But I be dead, so pricketh it my side.
+ La! how I cough and quiver when I stir!—
+ May I not ask some worthy officer
+ To speak for me, to what the bill may say?”
+
+ “Yea, certainly,” this Sumner said, “ye may,
+ On paying—let me see—twelve pence anon.
+ Small profit cometh to myself thereon:
+ My master hath the profit, and not I.
+ Come—twelve pence, mother—count it speedily,
+ And let me ride: I may no longer tarry.”
+
+ “Twelve pence!” quoth she; “now may the sweet Saint Mary
+ So wisely help me out of care and sin,
+ As in this wide world, though I sold my skin,
+ I could not scrape up twelve pence, for my life.
+ Ye know too well I am a poor old wife:
+ Give alms, for the Lord’s sake, to me, poor wretch.”
+
+ “Nay, if I quit thee then,” quoth he, “devil fetch
+ Myself, although thou starve for it, and rot.”
+ “Alas!” quoth she, “the pence I have ’em not.”
+ “Pay me,” quoth he, “or by the sweet Saint Anne,
+ I’ll bear away thy staff and thy new pan
+ For the old debt thou ow’st me for that fee,
+ Which out of pocket I discharged for thee,
+ When thou didst make thy husband an old stag.”
+ “Thou liest,” quoth she; “so leave me never a rag,
+ As I was never yet, widow nor wife,
+ Summonsed before your court in all my life,
+ Nor never of my body was untrue.
+ Unto the devil, rough and black of hue,
+ Give I thy body, and the pan to boot.”
+
+ And when this devil heard her give the brute
+ Thus in his charge, he stooped into her ear,
+ And said, “Now, Mabily, my mother dear,
+ Is this your will in earnest that ye say?”
+ “The devil,” quoth she, “so fetch him cleanaway,
+ Soul, pan, and all, unless that he repent.”
+ “Repent!” the Sumner cried; “pay up your rent,
+ Old fool; and don’t stand preaching here to me.
+ I would I had thy whole inventory,
+ The smock from off thy back, and every cloth.”
+
+ “Now, brother,” quoth the devil, “be not wroth;
+ Thy body and this pan be mine by right,
+ And thou shalt straight to hell with me to-night,
+ Where thou shalt know what sort of folk we be,
+ Better than Oxford university.”
+
+ And with that word the fiend him swept below,
+ Body and soul. He went where Sumners go.
+
+
+
+
+CHAUCER’S
+Reve’s Tale.
+
+
+ MODERNISED BY R. H. HORNE.
+
+
+
+_THE REVE’S PROLOGUE_.
+
+
+ WHEN all had laughed at this right foolish case
+ Of Absalom and credulous Nicholas, {49}
+ Diverse folk diversely their comments made.
+ But, for the most part, they all laughed and played,
+ Nor at this tale did any man much grieve,
+ Unless indeed ’twas Oswald, our good Reve.
+ Because that he was of the carpenter craft,
+ In his heart still a little ire is left.
+ He gan to grudge it somewhat, as scarce right;
+ “So aid me!” quoth he; “I could such requite
+ By throwing dust in a proud millers eye,
+ If that I chose to speak of ribaldry.
+ But I am old; I cannot play for age;
+ Grass-time is done—my fodder is now forage;
+ This white top sadly writeth mine old years;
+ Mine heart is also mouldy’d as mine hairs:
+ And since I fare as doth the medlar tree,
+ That fruit which time grows ever the worse to be
+ Till it be rotten in rubbish and in straw.
+
+ “We old men, as I fear, the same lot draw;
+ Till we be rotten can we not be ripe.
+ We ever hop while that the world will pipe;
+ For in our will there sticketh ever a nail,
+ To have a hoary head and a green tail,
+ As hath a leek; for though our strength be lame,
+ Our will desireth folly ever the same;
+ For when our climbing’s done, our words aspire;
+ Still in our ashes old is reeking fire. {50}
+
+ “Four hot coals have we, which I will express:
+ Boasting, lying, anger, and covetousness.
+ These burning coals are common unto age,
+ Our old limbs well may stumble o’er the stage,
+ But will shall never fail us, that is sooth.
+ Still in my head was always a colt’s tooth,
+ As many a year as now is passed and done,
+ Since that my tap of life began to run.
+ For certainly when I was born, I trow,
+ Death drew the tap of life, and let it flow;
+ And ever since the tap so fast hath run,
+ That well-nigh empty now is all the tun.
+ The stream of life but drips from time to time;
+ The silly tongue may well ring out and chime
+ Of wretchedness, that passéd is of yore:
+ With aged folk, save dotage, there’s nought more.”
+
+ When that our Host had heard this sermoning,
+ He gan to speak as lordly as a king;
+ And said, “Why, what amounteth all this wit?
+ What! shall we speak all day of Holy Writ?
+ The devil can make a steward fit to preach,
+ Or of a cobbler a sailor, or a leech.
+ Say forth thy tale; and tarry not the time.
+ Lo Deptford! and the hour is half-way prime:
+ Lo Greenwich! there where many a shrew loves sin—
+ It were high time thy story to begin.”
+
+ “Now, fair sirs,” quoth this Oswald, the old Reve,
+ “I pray you all that you yourselves ne’er grieve,
+ Though my reply should somewhat fret his nose;
+ For lawful ’tis with force, force to oppose.
+ This drunken Miller hath informed us here
+ How that some folks beguiled a carpenter—
+ Perhaps in scorn that I of yore was one.
+ So, by your leave, him I’ll requite anon.
+ In his own churlish language will I speak,
+ And pray to Heaven besides his neck may break.
+ A small stalk in mine eye he sees, I deem,
+ But in his own he cannot see a beam.”
+
+
+
+_THE REVE’S TALE_.
+
+
+ At Trumpington, near Cambridge, if you look,
+ There goeth a bridge, and under that a brook,
+ Upon which brook there stood a flour-mill;
+ And this is a known fact that now I tell.
+ A Miller there had dwelt for many a day;
+ As any peacock he was proud and gay.
+ He could pipe well, and fish, mend nets, to boot,
+ Turn cups with a lathe, and wrestle well, and shoot.
+ A Norman dirk, as brown as is a spade,
+ Hung by his belt, and eke a trenchant blade.
+ A jolly dagger bare he in his pouch:
+ There was no man, for peril, durst him touch.
+ A Sheffield clasp-knife lay within his hose.
+ Round was his face, and broad and flat his nose.
+ High and retreating was his bald ape’s skull:
+ He swaggered when the market-place was full.
+ There durst no wight a hand lift to resent it,
+ But soon, this Miller swore, he should repent it.
+
+ A thief he was, forsooth, of corn and meal,
+ A sly one, too, and used long since to steal.
+ Disdainful Simkin was he called by name.
+ A wife he had; of noble kin she came:
+ The rector of the town her father was.
+ With her he gave full many a pan of brass,
+ That Simkin with his blood should thus ally.
+ She had been brought up in a nunnery;
+ For Simkin ne’er would take a wife, he said,
+ Unless she were well tutored and a maid,
+ To carry on his line of yeomanry:
+ And she was proud and pert as is a pie.
+ It was a pleasant thing to see these two:
+ On holidays before her he would go,
+ With his large tippet bound about his head;
+ While she came after in a gown of red,
+ And Simkin wore his long hose of the same.
+ There durst no wight address her but as dame:
+ None was so bold that passed along the way
+ Who with her durst once toy or jesting play,
+ Unless he wished the sudden loss of life
+ Before Disdainful Simkin’s sword or knife.
+ (For jealous folk most fierce and perilous grow;
+ And this they always wish their wives to know.)
+ But since that to broad jokes she’d no dislike
+ She was as pure as water in a dyke,
+ And with abuse all filled and froward air.
+ She thought that ladies should her temper bear,
+ Both for her kindred and the lessons high
+ That had been taught her in the nunnery.
+
+ These two a fair and buxom daughter had,
+ Of twenty years; no more since they were wed,
+ Saving a child, that was but six months old;
+ A little boy in cradle rocked and rolled.
+ This daughter was a stout and well-grown lass,
+ With broad flat nose, and eyes as grey as glass.
+ Broad were her hips; her bosom round and high;
+ But right fair was she here—I will not lie.
+
+ The rector of the town, as she was fair,
+ A purpose had to make her his sole heir,
+ Both of his cattle and his tenement;
+ But only if she married as he meant.
+ It was his purpose to bestow her high,
+ Into some worthy blood of ancestry:
+ For holy Church’s good must be expended
+ On holy Church’s blood that is descended;
+ Therefore he would his holy Church honour,
+ Although that holy Church he should devour.
+
+ Great toll and fee had Simkin, out of doubt,
+ With wheat and malt, of all the land about,
+ And in especial was the Soler Hall—
+ A college great at Cambridge thus they call—
+ Which at this mill both wheat and malt had ground.
+ And on a day it suddenly was found,
+ Sick lay the Manciple of a malady;
+ And men for certain thought that he must die.
+ Whereon this Miller both of corn and meal
+ An hundred times more than before did steal;
+ For, ere this chance, he stole but courteously,
+ But now he was a thief outrageously.
+ The Warden scolded with an angry air;
+ But this the Miller rated not a tare:
+ He sang high bass, and swore it was not so!
+
+ There were two scholars young, and poor, I trow,
+ That dwelt within the Hall of which I say.
+ Headstrong they were and lusty for to play;
+ And merely for their mirth and revelry,
+ Out to the Warden eagerly they cry,
+ That be should let them, for a merry round,
+ Go to the mill and see their own corn ground,
+ And each would fair and boldly lay his neck
+ The Miller should not steal them half a peck
+ Of corn by sleight, nor by main force bereave.
+
+ And at the last the Warden gave them leave:
+ One was called John, and Allen named the other;
+ From the same town they came, which was called Strauther,
+ Far in the North—I cannot tell you where.
+
+ This Allen maketh ready all his gear,
+ And on a horse the sack he cast anon:
+ Forth go these merry clerks, Allen and John,
+ With good sword and with buckler by their side.
+ John knew the way, and needed not a guide;
+ And at the mill the sack adown he layeth.
+
+ Allen spake first:—“Simon, all hail! in faith,
+ How fares thy daughter, and thy worthy wife?”
+ “Allen,” quoth Simkin, “welcome, by my life;
+ And also John:—how now! what do ye here?”
+ “Simon,” quoth John, “compulsion has no peer.
+ They who’ve nae lackeys must themselves bestir,
+ Or else they are but fools, as clerks aver.
+ Our Manciple, I think, will soon be dead,
+ Sae slowly work the grinders in his head;
+ And therefore am I come with Allen thus,
+ To grind our corn, and carry it hame with us:
+ I pray you speed us, that we may be gone.”
+
+ Quoth Simkin, “By my faith it shall be done;
+ What will ye do while that it is in hand?”
+ “Gude’s life! right by the hopper will I stand,”
+ (Quoth John), “and see how that the corn goes in.
+ I never yet saw, by my father’s kin,
+ How that the hopper waggles to and fro.”
+
+ Allen continued,—“John, and wilt thou so?
+ Then will I be beneath it, by my crown,
+ And see how that the meal comes running down
+ Into the trough—and that shall be my sport.
+ For, John, like you, I’m of the curious sort;
+ And quite as bad a miller—so let’s see!”
+
+ This Miller smiled at their ’cute nicety,
+ And thought,—all this is done but for a wile;
+ They fancy that no man can them beguile:
+ But, by my thrift, I’ll dust their searching eye,
+ For all the sleights in their philosophy.
+ The more quaint knacks and guarded plans they make,
+ The more corn will I steal when once I take:
+ Instead of flour, I’ll leave them nought but bran:
+ The greatest clerks are not the wisest men.
+ As whilom to the wolf thus spake the mare:
+ Of all their art I do not count a tare.
+
+ Out at the door he goeth full privily,
+ When that he saw his time, and noiselessly:
+ He looketh up and down, till he hath found
+ The clerks’ bay horse, where he was standing bound
+ Under an ivy wall, behind the mill:
+ And to the horse he goeth him fair and well,
+ And strippeth off the bridle in a trice.
+
+ And when the horse was loose he ’gan to race
+ Unto the wild mares wandering in the fen,
+ With _wehee_! _whinny_! right through thick and thin!
+ This Miller then returned; no word he said,
+ But doth his work, and with these clerks he played,
+ Till that their corn was well and fairly ground.
+ And when the meal is sacked and safely bound
+ John goeth out, and found his horse was gone,
+ And cried aloud with many a stamp and groan,
+ “Our horse is lost! Allen, ’od’s banes! I say,
+ Up on thy feet!—come off, man—up, away!
+ Alas! our Warden’s palfrey, it is gone!”
+
+ Allen at once forgot both meal and corn—
+ Out of his mind went all his husbandry—
+ “What! whilk way is he gone?” he ’gan to cry.
+
+ The Miller’s wife came laughing inwardly,
+ “Alas!” said she, “your horse i’ the fens doth fly
+ After wild mares as fast as he can go!
+ Ill-luck betide the man that bound him so,
+ And his that better should have knit the rein.”
+
+ “Alas!” quoth John, “good Allen, haste amain;
+ Lay down thy sword, as I will mine also;
+ Heaven knoweth I am as nimble as a roe;
+ He shall not ’scape us baith, or my saul’s dead!
+ Why didst not put the horse within the shed?
+ By the mass, Allen, thou’rt a fool, I say!”
+
+ Those silly clerks have scampered fast away
+ Unto the fen; Allen and nimble John:
+ And when the Miller saw that they were gone,
+ He half a bushel of their flour doth take,
+ And bade his wife go knead it in a cake.
+ He said, “I trow these clerks feared what they’ve found;
+ Yet can a miller turn a scholar round
+ For all his art. Yea, let them go their way!
+ See where they run! yea, let the children play:
+ They get him not so lightly, by my crown.”
+
+ The simple clerks go running up and down,
+ With “Soft, soft!—stand, stand!—hither!—back! take care!
+ Now whistle thou, and I shall keep him here!”
+ But, to be brief, until the very night
+ They could not, though they tried with all their might,
+ The palfrey catch; he always ran so fast:
+ Till in a ditch they caught him at the last.
+
+ Weary and wet as beasts amid the rain,
+ Allen and John come slowly back again.
+ “Alas,” quoth John, “that ever I was born!
+ Now are we turned into contempt and scorn.
+ Our corn is stolen; fools they will us call;
+ The Warden, and our college fellows all,
+ And ’specially the Miller—’las the day!”
+
+ Thus plaineth John while going by the way
+ Toward the mill, the bay nag in his hand.
+ The Miller sitting by the fire they found,
+ For it was night: no further could they move;
+ But they besought him, for Heaven’s holy love,
+ Lodgment and food to give them for their penny.
+
+ And Simkin answered, “If that there be any,
+ Such as it is, yet shall ye have your part.
+ My house is small, but ye have learnéd art;
+ Ye can, by arguments, well make a place
+ A mile broad, out of twenty foot of space!
+ Let’s see now if this place, as ’tis, suffice;
+ Or make more room with speech, as is your guise.”
+ “Now, Simon, by Saint Cuthbert,” said this John,
+ “Thou’rt ever merry, and that’s answered soon.
+ I’ve heard that man must needs choose o’ twa things;
+ Such as he finds, or else such as he brings.
+ But specially I pray thee, mine host dear,
+ Let us have meat and drink, and make us cheer,
+ And we shall pay you to the full, be sure:
+ With empty hand men may na’ hawks allure.
+ Lo! here’s our siller ready to be spent!”
+
+ The Miller to the town his daughter sent
+ For ale and bread, and roasted them a goose;
+ And bound their horse; he should no more get loose;
+ And in his own room made for them a bed,
+ With blankets, sheets, and coverlet well spread:
+ Not twelve feet from his own bed did it stand.
+ His daughter, by herself, as it was planned,
+ In a small passage closet, slept close by:
+ It might no better be, for reasons why,—
+ There was no wider chamber in the place.
+ They sup, and jest, and show a merry face,
+ And drink of ale, the strongest and the best.
+ It was just midnight when they went to rest.
+
+ Well hath this Simkin varnished his hot head;
+ Full pale he was with drinking, and nought red.
+ He hiccougheth, and speaketh through the nose,
+ As with the worst of colds, or quinsy’s throes.
+ To bed he goeth, and with him trips his wife;
+ Light as a jay, and jolly seemed her life,
+ So was her jolly whistle well ywet.
+ The cradle at her bed’s foot close she set
+ To rock, or nurse the infant in the night.
+ And when the jug of ale was emptied quite,
+ To bed, likewise, the daughter went anon:
+ To bed goes Allen; with him also John.
+ All’s said: they need no drugs from poppies pale,
+ This Miller hath so wisely bibbed of ale;
+ But as an horse he snorteth in his sleep,
+ And blurteth secrets which awake he’d keep.
+ His wife a burden bare him, and full strong:
+ Men might their routing hear a good furlóng.
+ The daughter routeth else, _par compagnie_.
+
+ Allen, the clerk, that heard this melody,
+ Now poketh John, and said, “Why sleepest thou?
+ Heardest thou ever sic a song ere now?
+ Lo, what a serenade’s among them all!
+ A wild-fire red upon their bodies fall!
+ Wha ever listened to sae strange a thing?
+ The flower of evil shall their ending bring.
+ This whole night there to me betides no rest.
+ But, courage yet, all shall be for the best;
+ For, John,” said he, “as I may ever thrive,
+ To pipe a merrier serenade I’ll strive
+ In the dark passage somewhere near to us;
+ For, John, there is a law which sayeth thus,—
+ That if a man in one point be aggrieved,
+ Right in another he shall be relieved:
+ Our corn is stolen—sad yet sooth to say—
+ And we have had an evil bout to-day;
+ But since the Miller no amends will make,
+ Against our loss we should some payment take.
+ His sonsie daughter will I seek to win,
+ And get our meal back—de’il reward his sin!
+ By hallow-mass it shall no otherwise be!”
+
+ But John replied, “Allen, well counsel thee:
+ The Miller is a perilous man,” he said,
+ “And if he wake and start up from his bed,
+ He may do both of us a villainy.”
+ “Nay,” Allen said, “I count him not a flie!”
+ And up he rose, and crept along the floor
+ Into the passage humming with their snore:
+ As narrow was it as a drum or tub.
+ And like a beetle doth he grope and grub,
+ Feeling his way with darkness in his hands,
+ Till at the passage-end he stooping stands.
+
+ John lieth still, and not far off, I trow,
+ And to himself he maketh ruth and woe.
+ “Alas,” quoth he, “this is a wicked jape!
+ Now may I say that I am but an ape.
+ Allen may somewhat quit him for his wrong:
+ Already can I hear his plaint and song;
+ So shall his ’venture happily be sped,
+ While like a rubbish-sack I lie in bed;
+ And when this jape is told another day,
+ I shall be called a fool, or a cokenáy!
+ I will adventure somewhat, too, in faith:
+ ‘Weak heart, worse fortune,’ as the proverb saith.”
+
+ And up he rose at once, and softly went
+ Unto the cradle, as ’twas his intent,
+ And to his bed’s foot bare it, with the brat.
+ The wife her routing ceased soon after that,
+ And woke, and left her bed; for she was pained
+ With nightmare dreams of skies that madly rained.
+ Eastern astrologers and clerks, I wis,
+ In time of Apis tell of storms like this.
+ Awhile she stayed, and waxeth calm in mind;
+ Returning then, no cradle doth she find,
+ And gropeth here and there—but she found none.
+ “Alas,” quoth she, “I had almost misgone!
+ I well-nigh stumbled on the clerks a-bed:
+ _Eh benedicite_! but I am safely sped.”
+ And on she went, till she the cradle found,
+ While through the dark still groping with her hand.
+
+ Meantime was heard the beating of a wing,
+ And then the third cock of the morn ’gan sing.
+ Allen stole back, and thought, “Ere that it dawn
+ I will creep in by John that lieth forlorn.”
+ He found the cradle in his hand, anon.
+ “Gude Lord!” thought Allen, “all wrong have I gone!
+ My head is dizzy with the ale last night,
+ And eke my piping, that I go not right.
+ Wrong am I, by the cradle well I know:
+ Here lieth Simkin, and his wife alsó.”
+ And, scrambling forthright on, he made his way
+ Unto the bed where Simkin snoring lay!
+ He thought to nestle by his fellow John,
+ And by the Miller in he crept, anon,
+ And caught him by the neck, and ’gan to shake,
+ And said, “Thou John! thou swine’s head dull, awake!
+ Wake, by the mass! and hear a noble game,
+ For, by St. Andrew! to thy ruth and shame,
+ I have been trolling roundelays this night,
+ And won the Miller’s daughter’s heart outright,
+ Who hath me told where hidden is our meal:
+ All this—and more—and how they always steal;
+ While thou hast as a coward lain aghast!”
+
+ “Thou slanderous ribald!” quoth the Miller, “hast?
+ A traitor false, false lying clerk!” quoth he,
+ “Thou shalt be slain by heaven’s dignity,
+ Who rudely dar’st disparage with foul lie
+ My daughter that is come of lineage high!”
+ And by the throat he Allen grasped amain;
+ And caught him, yet more furiously, again,
+ And on his nose he smote him with his fist!
+ Down ran the bloody stream upon his breast,
+ And on the floor they tumble, heel and crown,
+ And shake the house—it seemed all coming down.
+ And up they rise, and down again they roll;
+ Till that the Miller, stumbling o’er a coal,
+ Went plunging headlong like a bull at bait,
+ And met his wife, and both fell flat as slate.
+ “Help, holy cross of Bromeholm!” loud she cried,
+ “And all ye martyrs, fight upon my side!
+ _In manus tuas_—help!—on thee I call!
+ Simon, awake! the fiend on me doth fall:
+ He crusheth me—help!—I am well-nigh dead:
+ He lieth along my heart, and heels, and head.
+ Help, Simkin! for the false clerks rage and fight!”
+
+ Now sprang up John as fast as ever he might,
+ And graspeth by the dark walls to and fro
+ To find a staff: the wife starts up alsó.
+ She knew the place far better than this John,
+ And by the wall she caught a staff anon.
+ She saw a little shimmering of a light,
+ For at an hole in shone the moon all bright,
+ And by that gleam she saw the struggling two,
+ But knew not, as for certain, who was who,
+ Save that she saw a white thing in her eye.
+ And when that she this white thing ’gan espy,
+ She thought that Allen did a nightcap wear,
+ And with the staff she drew near, and more near,
+ And, thinking ’twas the clerk, she smote at full
+ Disdainful Simkin on his bald ape’s skull.
+ Down goes the Miller, crying, “Harow, I die!”
+ These clerks they beat him well, and let him lie.
+ They make them ready, and take their horse anon,
+ And eke their meal, and on their way are gone;
+ And from behind the mill-door took their cake,
+ Of half a bushel of flour—a right good bake.
+
+
+
+CHAUCER’S POEM OF
+The Cuckoo And The Nightingale.
+
+
+ MODERNISED BY WILLIAM WORDSWORTH.
+
+ 1.
+
+ THE God of Love—_ah_, _benedicite_!
+ How mighty and how great a Lord is he!
+ For he of low hearts can make high, of high
+ He can make low, and unto death bring nigh;
+ And hard hearts he can make them kind and free.
+
+ 2.
+
+ Within a little time, as hath been found,
+ He can make sick folk whole and fresh and sound;
+ Them who are whole in body and in mind
+ He can make sick,—bind can he and unbind
+ All that he will have bound, or have unbound.
+
+ 3.
+
+ To tell his might my wit may not suffice;
+ Foolish men he can make them out of wise;—
+ For he may do all that he will devise;
+ Loose livers he can make abate their vice,
+ And proud hearts can make tremble in a trice.
+
+ 4.
+
+ In brief, the whole of what he will, he may;
+ Against him dare not any wight say nay;
+ To humble or afflict whome’er he will,
+ To gladden or to grieve, he hath like skill;
+ But most his might he sheds on the eve of May.
+
+ 5.
+
+ For every true heart, gentle heart and free,
+ That with him is, or thinketh so to be,
+ Now against May shall have some stirring—whether
+ To joy, or be it to some mourning; never
+ At other time, methinks, in like degree.
+
+ 6.
+
+ For now when they may hear the small birds’ song,
+ And see the budding leaves the branches throng.
+ This unto their remembrance doth bring
+ All kinds of pleasure mixed with sorrowing,
+ And longing of sweet thoughts that ever long.
+
+ 7.
+
+ And of that longing heaviness doth come,
+ Whence oft great sickness grows of heart and home;
+ Sick are they all for lack of their desire;
+ And thus in May their hearts are set on fire,
+ So that they burn forth in great martyrdom.
+
+ 8.
+
+ In sooth, I speak from feeling, what though now
+ Old am I, and to genial pleasure slow;
+ Yet have I felt of sickness through the May,
+ Both hot and cold, and heart-aches every day,—
+ How hard, alas! to bear, I only know.
+
+ 9.
+
+ Such shaking doth the fever in me keep,
+ Through all this May that I have little sleep;
+ And also ’tis not likely unto me,
+ That any living heart should sleepy be
+ In which love’s dart its fiery point doth steep.
+
+ 10.
+
+ But tossing lately on a sleepless bed,
+ I of a token thought which lovers heed;
+ How among them it was a common tale,
+ That it was good to hear the nightingale,
+ Ere the vile cuckoo’s note be utteréd.
+
+ 11.
+
+ And then I thought anon as it was day,
+ I gladly would go somewhere to essay
+ If I perchance a nightingale might hear,
+ For yet had I heard none, of all that year,
+ And it was then the third night of the May.
+
+ 12.
+
+ And soon as I a glimpse of day espied,
+ No longer would I in my bed abide,
+ But straightway to a wood, that was hard by,
+ Forth did I go, alone and fearlessly,
+ And held the pathway down by a brook-side;
+
+ 13.
+
+ Till to a lawn I came all white and green,
+ I in so fair a one had never been.
+ The ground was green, with daisy powdered over;
+ Tall were the flowers, the grove a lofty cover,
+ All green and white; and nothing else was seen.
+
+ 14.
+
+ There sate I down among the fresh fair flowers,
+ And saw the birds come tripping from their bowers,
+ Where they had rested them all night; and they,
+ Who were so joyful at the light of day,
+ Began to honour May with all their powers.
+
+ 15.
+
+ Well did they know that service all by rote,
+ And there was many and many a lovely note;
+ Some singing loud, as if they had complained;
+ Some with their notes another manner feigned;
+ And some did sing all out with the full throat.
+
+ 16.
+
+ They pruned themselves, and made themselves right gay,
+ Dancing and leaping light upon the spray;
+ And ever two and two together were,
+ The same as they had chosen for the year,
+ Upon Saint Valentine’s returning day.
+
+ 17.
+
+ Meanwhile the stream, whose bank I sate upon,
+ Was making such a noise as it ran on
+ Accordant to the sweet birds’ harmony;
+ Methought that it was the best melody
+ Which ever to man’s ear a passage won.
+
+ 18.
+
+ And for delight, but how I never wot,
+ I in a slumber and a swoon was caught,
+ Not all asleep, and yet not waking wholly;
+ And as I lay, the Cuckoo bird unholy
+ Broke silence, or I heard him in my thought.
+
+ 19.
+
+ And that was right upon a tree fast by,
+ And who was then ill-satisfied but I?
+ “Now, God,” quoth I, “that died upon the rood,
+ From thee and thy base throat, keep all that’s good,
+ Full little joy have I now of thy cry.”
+
+ 20.
+
+ And, as I with the Cuckoo thus ’gan chide,
+ In the next bush that was me fast beside,
+ I heard the lusty Nightingale so sing,
+ That her clear voice made a loud rioting,
+ Echoing thorough all the green wood wide.
+
+ 21.
+
+ “Ah! good sweet Nightingale! for my heart’s cheer,
+ Hence hast thou stayed a little while too long;
+ For we have heard the sorry Cuckoo here,
+ And she hath been before thee with her song;
+ Evil light on her! she hath done me wrong.”
+
+ 22.
+
+ But hear you now a wondrous thing, I pray;
+ As long as in that swooning fit I lay,
+ Methought I wist right well what these birds meant,
+ And had good knowing both of their intent,
+ And of their speech, and all that they would say.
+
+ 23.
+
+ The Nightingale thus in my hearing spake:
+ “Good Cuckoo, seek some other bush or brake
+ And, prithee, let us that can sing dwell here;
+ For every wight eschews thy song to hear,
+ Such uncouth singing verily dost thou make.”
+
+ 24.
+
+ “What!” quoth she then, “what is’t that ails thee now?
+ It seems to me I sing as well as thou;
+ For mine’s a song that is both true and plain,—
+ Although I cannot quaver so in vain
+ As thou dost in thy throat, I wot not how.
+
+ 25.
+
+ “All men may understanding have of me,
+ But, Nightingale, so may they not of thee;
+ For thou hast many a foolish and quaint cry:—
+ Thou say’st OSEE, OSEE; then how may I
+ Have knowledge, I thee pray, what this may be?”
+
+ 26.
+
+ “Ah, fool!” quoth she, “wist thou not what it is?
+ Oft as I say OSEE, OSEE, I wis,
+ Then mean I, that I should be wondrous fain
+ That shamefully they one and all were slain,
+ Whoever against Love mean aught amiss.
+
+ 27.
+
+ “And also would I that they all were dead
+ Who do not think in love their life to lead;
+ For who is loth the God of Love to obey
+ Is only fit to die, I dare well say,
+ And for that cause OSEE I cry; take heed!”
+
+ 28.
+
+ “Ay,” quoth the Cuckoo, “that is a quaint law,
+ That all must love or die; but I withdraw,
+ And take my leave of all such company,
+ For mine intent it neither is to die,
+ Nor ever while I live Love’s yoke to draw.
+
+ 29.
+
+ “For lovers of all folk that be alive,
+ The most disquiet have and least do thrive;
+ Most feeling have of sorrow’s woe and care,
+ And the least welfare cometh to their share;
+ What need is there against the truth to strive?”
+
+ 30.
+
+ “What!” quoth she, “thou art all out of thy mind,
+ That in thy churlishness a cause canst find
+ To speak of Love’s true Servants in this mood;
+ For in this world no service is so good
+ To every wight that gentle is of kind.
+
+ 31.
+
+ “For thereof comes all goodness and all worth;
+ All gentleness and honour thence come forth;
+ Thence worship comes, content and true heart’s pleasure,
+ And full-assuréd trust, joy without measure,
+ And jollity, fresh cheerfulness, and mirth:
+
+ 32.
+
+ “And bounty, lowliness, and courtesy,
+ And seemliness, and faithful company,
+ And dread of shame that will not do amiss;
+ For he that faithfully Love’s servant is,
+ Rather than be disgraced, would choose to die.
+
+ 33.
+
+ “And that the very truth it is which I
+ Now say—in such belief I’ll live and die;
+ And Cuckoo, do thou so, by my advice.”
+ “Then,” quoth she, “let me never hope for bliss,
+ If with that counsel I do e’er comply.
+
+ 34.
+
+ “Good Nightingale! thou speakest wondrous fair,
+ Yet, for all that, the truth is found elsewhere;
+ For Love in young folk is but rage, I wis;
+ And Love in old folk a great dotage is;
+ Whom most it useth, him ’twill most impair.
+
+ 35.
+
+ “For thereof come all contraries to gladness;
+ Thence sickness comes, and overwhelming sadness,
+ Mistrust and jealousy, despite, debate,
+ Dishonour, shame, envy importunate,
+ Pride, anger, mischief, poverty and madness.
+
+ 36.
+
+ “Loving is aye an office of despair,
+ And one thing is therein which is not fair;
+ For whoso gets of love a little bliss,
+ Unless it alway stay with him, I wis
+ He may full soon go with an old man’s hair.
+
+ 37.
+
+ “And, therefore, Nightingale! do thou keep nigh,
+ For trust me well, in spite of thy quaint cry,
+ If long time from thy mate thou be, or far,
+ Thou’lt be as others that forsaken are;
+ Then shalt thou raise a clamour as do I.”
+
+ 38.
+
+ “Fie,” quoth she, “on thy name, Bird ill beseen!
+ The God of Love afflict thee with all teen,
+ For thou art worse than mad a thousandfold;
+ For many a one hath virtues manifold
+ Who had been nought, if Love had never been.
+
+ 39.
+
+ “For evermore his servants Love amendeth,
+ And he from every blemish them defendeth;
+ And maketh them to burn, as in a fire,
+ In loyalty and worshipful desire,
+ And when it likes him, joy enough them sendeth.”
+
+ 40.
+
+ “Thou Nightingale!” the Cuckoo said, “be still;
+ For Love no reason hath but his own will;—
+ For to th’ untrue he oft gives ease and joy;
+ True lovers doth so bitterly annoy,
+ He lets them perish through that grievous ill.
+
+ 41.
+
+ “With such a master would I never be,
+ For he, in sooth, is blind, and may not see,
+ And knows not when he hurts and when he heals;
+ Within this court full seldom truth avails,
+ So diverse in his wilfulness is he.”
+
+ 42.
+
+ Then of the Nightingale did I take note,
+ How from her inmost heart a sigh she brought,
+ And said, “Alas! that ever I was born,
+ Not one word have I now, I am so forlorn,”—
+ And with that word, she into tears burst out.
+
+ 43.
+
+ “Alas, alas! my very heart will break,”
+ Quoth she, “to hear this churlish bird thus speak
+ Of Love, and of his holy services;
+ Now, God of Love! thou help me in some wise,
+ That vengeance on this Cuckoo I may wreak.”
+
+ 44.
+
+ And so methought I started up anon,
+ And to the brook I ran, and got a stone,
+ Which at the Cuckoo hardily I cast,
+ And he for dread did fly away full fast;
+ And glad, in sooth, was I when he was gone.
+
+ 45.
+
+ And as he flew, the Cuckoo ever and aye
+ Kept crying, “Farewell!—farewell, popinjay!”
+ As if in scornful mockery of me;
+ And on I hunted him from tree to tree,
+ Till he was far, all out of sight, away.
+
+ 46.
+
+ Then straightway came the Nightingale to me,
+ And said, “Forsooth, my friend, do I thank thee,
+ That thou wert near to rescue me; and now,
+ Unto the God of Love I make a vow,
+ That all this May I will thy songstress be.”
+
+ 47.
+
+ Well satisfied, I thanked her, and she said,
+ “By this mishap no longer be dismayed,
+ Though thou the Cuckoo heard, ere thou heard’st me;
+ Yet if I live it shall amended be,
+ When next May comes, if I am not afraid.
+
+ 48.
+
+ “And one thing will I counsel thee alsó,
+ The Cuckoo trust not thou, nor his Love’s saw;
+ All that she said is an outrageous lie.”
+ “Nay, nothing shall me bring thereto,” quoth I,
+ “For Love, and it hath done me mighty woe.”
+
+ 49.
+
+ “Yea, hath it? Use,” quoth she, “this medicine,
+ This May-time, every day before thou dine,
+ Go look on the fresh daisy; then say I,
+ Although for pain thou may’st be like to die,
+ Thou wilt be eased, and less wilt droop and pine.
+
+ 50.
+
+ “And mind always that thou be good and true,
+ And I will sing one song, of many new,
+ For love of thee, as loud as I may cry;”
+ And then did she begin this song full high,
+ “Beshrew all them that are in love untrue.”
+
+ 51.
+
+ And soon as she had sung it to the end,
+ “Now farewell,” quoth she, “for I hence must wend;
+ And, God of Love, that can right well and may,
+ Send unto thee as mickle joy this day
+ As ever he to lover yet did send.”
+
+ 52.
+
+ Thus takes the Nightingale her leave of me;
+ I pray to God with her always to be,
+ And joy of love to send her evermore;
+ And shield us from the Cuckoo and her lore,
+ For there is not so false a bird as she.
+
+ 53.
+
+ Forth then she flew, the gentle Nightingale,
+ To all the birds that lodged within that dale,
+ And gathered each and all into one place;
+ And them besought to hear her doleful case,
+ And thus it was that she began her tale:—
+
+ 54.
+
+ “The Cuckoo—’tis not well that I should hide
+ How she and I did each the other chide,
+ And without ceasing, since it was daylight;
+ And now I pray you all to do me right
+ Of that false Bird whom Love can not abide.”
+
+ 55.
+
+ Then spake one Bird, and full assent all gave:
+ “This matter asketh counsel good as grave,
+ For birds we are—all here together brought;
+ And, in good sooth, the Cuckoo here is not;
+ And therefore we a parliament will have.
+
+ 56.
+
+ “And thereat shall the Eagle be our Lord,
+ And other Peers whose names are on record;
+ A summons to the Cuckoo shall be sent,
+ And judgment there be given; or that intent
+ Failing, we finally shall make accord.
+
+ 57.
+
+ “And all this shall be done, without a nay,
+ The morrow after Saint Valentine’s day,
+ Under a maple that is well beseen,
+ Before the chamber-window of the Queen,
+ At Woodstock, on the meadow green and gay.”
+
+ 58.
+
+ She thankéd them; and then her leave she took,
+ And flew into a hawthorn by that brook;
+ And there she sate and sung—upon that tree,—
+ “For term of life Love shall have hold of me!”
+ So loudly, that I with that song awoke.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+ Unlearned Book and rude, as well I know,
+ For beauty thou hast none, nor eloquence,
+ Who did on thee the hardiness bestow
+ To appear before my Lady? but a sense
+ Thou surely hast of her benevolence,
+ Whereof her hourly bearing proof doth give;
+ For of all good, she is the best alive.
+
+ Alas, poor Book! for thy unworthiness,
+ To show to her some pleasant meanings writ
+ In winning words, since through her gentleness,
+ Thee she accepts as for her service fit;
+ Oh! it repents me I have neither wit
+ Nor leisure unto thee more worth to give;
+ For of all good, she is the best alive.
+
+ Beseech her meekly with all lowliness,
+ Though I be far from her I reverence,
+ To think upon my truth and steadfastness,
+ And to abridge my sorrow’s violence,
+ Caused by the wish, as knows your sapience,
+ She of her liking, proof to me would give;
+ For of all good, she is the best alive.
+
+
+
+L’ENVOY.
+
+
+ PLEASURE’S Aurora, Day of gladsomeness!
+ Lucerne, by night, with heavenly influence
+ Illumined! root of beauty and goodness,
+ Write, and allay, by your beneficence,
+ My sighs breathed forth in silence,—comfort give!
+ Since of all good, you are the best alive.
+
+ EXPLICIT.
+
+
+
+Treasure Trove.
+
+
+ MODERNISED FROM THE FIFTH BOOK OF GOWER’S “CONFESSIO AMANTIS.”
+
+ IN ancient Chronicle I read:—
+ About a King, as it must need,
+ There was of Knights and of Squiërs
+ Great rout, and eke of Officers.
+ Some for a long time him had served,
+ And thought that they had well deserved
+ Advancement, but had gone without;
+ And some also were of the Rout
+ That only came the other day
+ And were advanced without delay.
+ Those Older Men upon this thing,
+ So as they durst, against the King
+ Among themselves would murmur oft.
+ But there is nothing said so soft
+ That it shall not come out at last,
+ The King soon knew what Words had passed.
+ A King he was of high Prudénce,
+ He shaped therefore an Evidence
+ Of them that plained them in that case,
+ To know of whose Default it was.
+ And all within his own intent,
+ That not a man knew what it meant,
+ He caused two Coffers to be made
+ Alike in Shape, and Size, and Shade,
+ So like that no man, by their Show,
+ The one may from the other know.
+ They were into his Chamber brought,
+ But no man knew why they were wrought;
+ Yet from the King Command hath come
+ That they be set in private Room,
+ For he was in his Wisdom keen.
+ When he thereto his time had seen,
+ Slily, away from all the rest,
+ With his own hands he filled one Chest,
+ Full of fine Gold and Jewelry
+ The which out of his Treasury
+ Was taken; after that he thrust
+ Into the other Straw and Dust,
+ And filled it up with Stones also;
+ Full Coffers are they, both the two.
+
+ And early then upon a day
+ He bade within doors where he lay
+ That there should be before his Bed
+ A Board set up and fairly spread.
+ The Coffers then he let men get,
+ And on the Board he had them set.
+ Full well he knew the Names of those
+ Whose Murmurings against him rose,
+ Both of his Chamber and his Hall,
+ And speedily sent for them all,
+ And said unto them in this wise:
+
+ “There shall no man his Hap despise;
+ I know well that ye long have served,
+ And God knows what ye have deserved.
+ Whether it is along of me
+ That ye still unadvancéd be,
+ Or whether it belong of you,
+ The Sooth is to be provéd now,
+ Wherewith to stop your Evil Word.
+ Lo here two Coffers on the Board,
+ Of both the two choose which you will,
+ And know that ye may have your fill
+ Of Treasure heaped and packed in one,
+ That if ye happen thereupon
+ Ye shall be made Rich Men for ever.
+ Now choose and take which you is liever.
+ But be well ware, ere that ye take,—
+ For of the one I undertake
+ There is no manner good therein
+ Whereof ye might a Profit win.
+ Now go together of one assent
+ And take your own Advisément.
+ Whether I you this day advance
+ Stands only on your Choice and Chance.
+ No question here of Royal Grace,
+ It shall be showéd in this place
+ Upon you all, and well and fine,
+ If Fortune fails by Fault of mine.”
+
+ They all kneel down, and with one voice
+ They thank the King for this free Choice;
+ And after this they up arise
+ And go aside and them advise,
+ And at the last they all accord;
+ Whereof their Finding to record
+ To what Issue their Voices fall,
+ A Knight shall answer for them all.
+
+ He kneeleth down unto the King
+ And saith, that they upon this thing
+ Or for to win or for to lose
+ Are all decided how to choose.
+ Then took this Knight a Rod in hand
+ And goes to where the Coffers stand,
+ And with the Assent of every one
+ He layeth his Rod upon one,
+ And tells the King they only want
+ Him that for their Reward to grant,
+ And pray him that they might it have.
+ The King, who would his Honour save,
+ When he hath heard the common Voice,
+ Hath granted them their own free Choice,
+ And gave them thereupon the Key.
+ But as he would that men might see
+ What Good they got, as they suppose,
+ He bade anon the Coffer unclose,—
+ Which was filled full with Straw and Stone;
+ Thus are they served, the Luck’s their own.
+
+ “Lo,” saith the King, “now may ye see
+ That there is no Default in me;
+ Therefore myself I will acquit,
+ Bear ye the Blame now, as is fit,
+ For that which Fortune you refused.”
+ Thus was this wise old King excused,
+ And they left off their evil Speech,
+ And Mercy of their King beseech.
+
+ Touching like matter to the quick,
+ I find a Tale how Frederick,
+ At that time Emperor of Rome,
+ Heard, as he went, a Clamour come
+ From two poor Beggars on the way.
+ The one of them began to say,
+ “Ha, Lord, the man is rich indeed
+ To whom a King’s Wealth brings his Speed!”
+ The other said, “It is not so,
+ But he is rich and well-to-do
+ To whom God pleases Wealth to send.”
+ And thus their Words went without end,
+ Whereto this Lord hath given ear
+ And caused both Beggars to appear
+ Straight at his Palace, there to eat;
+ And bade provide them for their Meat
+ Two Pasties which men were to make,
+ And in the one a Capon bake,
+ And in the other, Wealth to win,
+ Of Florins all that may within
+ He bade them put a great Richésse,
+ And just alike, as one may guess,
+ Outward they were, to Sight of Men.
+
+ This Beggar was commanded then,
+ He that had held him to the King,
+ That he first choose upon this thing.
+ He saw them, but he felt them not,
+ So that upon his single Thought
+ He chose the Capon, and forsook
+ That other, which his Fellow took.
+
+ But when he wist how that it fared,
+ He said aloud, that men it heard:
+ “Now have I certainly conceived
+ That he may lightly be deceived
+ Who puts his trust in Help of Man.
+ He’s rich whom God helps, for he can
+ Stand ever on the safer side
+ That else on Vain Hope had relied.
+ I see my Fellow well supplied,
+ And still a Poor Man I abide.”
+ Thus spake the Beggar his intent,
+ And poor he came, and poor he went;
+ Of all the Riches that he sought
+ His evil Fortune gave him nought.
+
+ And right as it with those men stood,
+ Of evil Hap in worldly Good,
+ As thou hast heard me tell above,
+ Right so, full oft, it stands by Love;
+ Though thou desire it evermore
+ Thou shalt not have a whit the more,
+ But only what is meant for thee,
+ Of all the rest not worth a Pea.
+ And yet a long and endless Row
+ There be of Men who covet so
+ That whereas they a Woman see,
+ To ten or twelve though there may be,
+ The Love is now so little wise
+ That where the Beauty takes his Eyes
+ Anon the Man’s whole Heart is there
+ And whispers Tales into her Ear,
+ And says on her his Love is set,
+ And thus he sets him to covet.
+ A hundred though he saw a day,
+ So would he have more than he may;
+ In each of them he finds somewhat
+ That pleaseth him, or this or that.
+ Some one, for she is white of skin,
+ Some one, for she is noble of kin,
+ Some one, for she hath a ruddy cheek,
+ Some one, for that she seemeth meek,
+ Some one, for that her eyes are gray,
+ Some one, for she can laugh and play,
+ Some one, for she is long and small,
+ Some one, for she is lithe and tall,
+ Some one, for she is pale and bleach,
+ Some one, for she is soft of speech,
+ Some one, for that her nose turns down,
+ Some one, for that she hath a frown,
+ Some one, for she can dance and sing;
+ So that of what he likes something
+ He finds, and though no more he feel
+ But that she hath a little heel,
+ It is enough that he therefore
+ Her love; and thus an hundred score
+ While they be new he would he had,
+ Whom he forsakes, she shall be bad.
+ So the Blind Man no Colour sees,
+ All’s one to take as he may please;
+ And his Desire is darkly minded
+ Whom Covetise of Love hath blinded.
+
+
+
+
+London Lickpenny.
+
+
+ BY JOHN LYDGATE.
+
+ TO London once my steps I bent,
+ Where truth in nowise should be faint;
+ To Westminster-ward I forthwith went,
+ To a man of law to make complaint,
+ I said, “For Mary’s love, that holy saint,
+ Pity the poor that would proceed!”
+ But for lack of Money I could not speed.
+
+ And as I thrust the press among,
+ By froward chance my hood was gone,
+ Yet for all that I stayed not long
+ Till to the King’s Bench I was come.
+ Before the judge I kneeled anon,
+ And prayed him for God’s sake to take heed.
+ But for lack of Money I might not speed.
+
+ Beneath them sat clerks a great rout,
+ Which fast did write by one assent,
+ There stood up one and cried about,
+ “Richard, Robert, and John of Kent!”
+ I wist not well what this man meant,
+ He cried so thickly there indeed.
+ But he that lacked Money might not speed
+
+ Unto the Common Pleas I yode {81} tho,
+ Where sat one with a silken hood;
+ I did him reverence, for I ought to do so,
+ And told my case as well as I could,
+ How my goods were defrauded me by falsehood.
+ I got not a mum of his mouth for my meed,
+ And for lack of Money I might not speed.
+
+ Unto the Rolls I gat me from thence,
+ Before the clerks of the Chancerie,
+ Where many I found earning of pence,
+ But none at all once regarded me.
+ I gave them my plaint upon my knee;
+ They liked it well when they had it read,
+ But lacking Money I could not be sped.
+
+ In Westminster Hall I found out one
+ Which went in a long gown of ray, {82a}
+ I crouched and kneeled before him anon,
+ For Mary’s love of help I him pray.
+ “I wot not what thou mean’st,” gan he say;
+ To get me thence he did me bede:
+ For lack of Money I could not speed.
+
+ Within this Hall, neither rich nor yet poor
+ Would do for me aught although I should die.
+ Which seeing, I got me out of the door
+ Where Flemings began on me for to cry,
+ “Master, what will you copen {82b} or buy?
+ Fine felt hats, or spectacles to read?
+ Lay down your silver, and here you may speed.”
+
+ Then to Westminster Gate I presently went,
+ When the sun was at highé prime;
+ Cooks to me they took good intent,
+ And proffered me bread with ale and wine,
+ Ribs of beef, both fat and full fine;
+ A fair cloth they gan for to sprede,
+ But wanting Money I might not then speed.
+
+ Then unto London I did me hie,
+ Of all the land it beareth the prize.
+ “Hot peascods!” one began to cry,
+ “Strawberry ripe!” and “Cherries in the rise!” {82c}
+ One bade me come near and buy some spice,
+ Pepper and saffron they gan me bede,
+ But for lack of Money I might not speed.
+
+ Then to the Cheap I began me drawn,
+ Where much people I saw for to stand;
+ One offered me velvet, silk, and lawn,
+ Another he taketh me by the hand,
+ “Here is Paris thread, the finest in the land!”
+ I never was used to such things indeed,
+ And wanting Money I might not speed.
+
+ Then went I forth by London Stone,
+ Throughout all Can’wick Street. {83}
+ Drapers much cloth me offered anon;
+ Then comes me one cried, “Hot sheep’s feet!”
+ One cried, “Mackerel!” “Rushes green!” another gan greet;
+ One bade me buy a hood to cover my head,
+ But for want of Money I might not be sped,
+
+ Then I hied me into East Cheap;
+ One cries “Ribs of beef,” and many a pie;
+ Pewter pots they clattered on a heap,
+ There was harp, pipe, and minstrelsie.
+ “Yea, by cock!” “Nay, by cock!” some began cry;
+ Some sung of Jenkin and Julian for their meed,
+ But for lack of Money I might not speed.
+
+ Then into Cornhill anon I yode,
+ Where was much stolen gear among;
+ I saw where hung mine owné hood
+ That I had lost among the throng:
+ To buy my own hood I thought it wrong;
+ I knew it well as I did my Creed,
+ But for lack of Money I could not speed.
+
+ The taverner took me by the sleeve,
+ “Sir,” saith he, “will you our wine assay?”
+ I answered, “That cannot much me grieve,
+ A penny can do no more than it may.”
+ I drank a pint, and for it I did pay.
+ Yet soon ahungered from thence I yede,
+ And wanting Money I could not speed.
+
+ Then hied I me to Billingsgate,
+ And one cried, “Hoo! Go we hence!”
+ I prayed a barge man, for God’s sake,
+ That he would spare me my expence.
+ “Thou scrap’st not here,” quoth he, “under two pence;
+ I list not yet bestow any alms deed.”
+ Thus lacking Money I could not speed.
+
+ Then I conveyed me into Kent;
+ For of the law would I meddle no more,
+ Because no man to me took intent,
+ I dight me to do as I did before.
+ Now Jesus, that in Bethlehem was bore,
+ Save London, and send true lawyers their meed!
+ For whoso wants Money with them shall not speed.
+
+
+
+
+Bicorn and Chichevache.
+
+
+ BY JOHN LYDGATE.
+
+_First there shall stand an image in Poet-wise_, _saying these verses_:—
+
+ O PRUDENT folkés, taketh heed,
+ And remembreth in your lives
+ How this story doth proceed
+ Of the husbands and their wives,
+ Of their áccord and their strives,
+ With life or death which to darrain {85a}
+ Is granted to these beastés twain.
+
+_Then shall be pourtrayed two beasts_, _one fat_; _another lean_.
+
+ For this Bicorn of his natúre
+ Will none other manner food,
+ But patient husbands his pastúre,
+ And Chichevache eat’th the women good;
+ And both these beastés, by the Rood,
+ Be fat or lean, it may not fail,
+ Like lack or plenty of their vitail.
+
+ Of Chichevache {85b} and of Bicorn,
+ Treateth wholly this matere,
+ Whose story hath taught us beforn
+ How these beastés both infere {85c}
+ Have their pastúre, as you shall hear,
+ Of men and women in senténce
+ Through suffrance or through impatiénce.
+
+_Then shall be pourtrayed a fat beast called Bicorn_, _of the country of
+Bicornis_, _and say these three verses following_:—
+
+ “Of Bicornis I am Bicorn,
+ Full fat and round here as I stand,
+ And in marriage bound and sworn
+ To Chichevache as her husbánd,
+ Which will not eat on sea nor land
+ But patient wivés debonair,
+ Which to their husbands be n’t contraire
+
+ “Full scarce, God wot, is her vitail,
+ Humble wives she finds so few,
+ For always at the contre tail
+ Their tongúe clappeth and doth hew.
+ Such meeké wivés I beshrew,
+ That neither can at bed ne board
+ Their husbands not forbear one word.
+
+ “But my food and my cherishing,
+ To tell plainly and not to vary,
+ Is of such folks which, their living,
+ Dare to their wives be not contrary,
+ Ne from their lustés dare not vary,
+ Nor with them hold no champarty, {86a}
+ All such my stomach will defy.” {86b}
+
+_Then shall be pourtrayed a company of men coming towards this beast
+Bicornis_, _and say these four ballads_:—
+
+ “Fellows, take heed and ye may see
+ How Bicorn casteth him to devour
+ All humble men, both you and me,
+ There is no gain may us succóur;
+ Wo be therefore in hall and bower
+ To all those husbands which, their lives,
+ Make mistrésses of their wives.
+
+ “Who that so doth, this is the law,
+ That this Bicorn will him oppress
+ And devouren in his maw
+ That of his wife makes his mistréss;
+ This will us bring in great distress,
+ For we, for our humility,
+ Of Bicorn shall devouréd be.
+
+ “We standen plainly in such case,
+ For they to us mistrésses be;
+ We may well sing and say, ‘Alas,
+ That we gave them the sovereigntie!
+ For we ben thrall and they be free.
+ Wherefore Bicorn, this cruel beast,
+ Will us devouren at the least.
+
+ “But who that can be sovereign,
+ And his wife teach and chastise,
+ That she dare not a word gainsain
+ Nor disobey in no manner wise,
+ Of such a man I can devise
+ He stands under protectión
+ From Bicornis jurisdictión.”
+
+_Then shall there be a woman devoured in the mouth of Chichevache_,
+_crying to all wives_, _and say this verse_:—
+
+ “O noble wivés, be well ware,
+ Take example now by me;
+ Or else affirmé well I dare
+ Ye shall be dead, ye shall not flee;
+ Be crabbéd, void humilitie,
+ Or Chichevache ne will not fail
+ You for to swallow in his entrail.”
+
+_Then shall there be pourtrayed a long-horned beast_, _slender and lean_,
+_with sharp teeth_, _and on her body nothing but skin and bone_.
+
+ “Chichevache, this is my name,
+ Hungry, meagre, slender, and lean,
+ To show my body I have great shame,
+ For hunger I feel so great teen; {88c}
+ On me no fatness will be seen,
+ Because that pasture I find none,
+ Therefore I am but skin and bone.
+
+ “For my feedíng in existénce
+ Is of women that be meek,
+ And like Grisield in patiénce
+ Or more their bounty for to eke;
+ But I full long may go and seek
+ Ere I can find a good repast,
+ A morrow to break with my fast.
+
+ “I trow there be a dear year
+ Of patient women now-a-days.
+ Who grieveth them with word or cheer
+ Let him beware of such assays;
+ For it is more than thirty Mays
+ That I have sought from lond to lond,
+ But yet one Grisield ne’er I fond.
+
+ “I found but one in all my live,
+ And she was dead ago full yore;
+ For more pastúre I will not strive
+ Nor seeké for my food no more.
+ Ne for vitail me to restore;
+ Women ben woxen {88a} so prudént
+ They will no more be patient.”
+
+_Then shall be pourtrayed_, _after Chichevache_, _an old man with a baton
+on his back_, _menacing the beast for devouring of his wife_.
+
+ “My wife, alas, devouréd is,
+ Most patiént and most pesíble!
+ She never said to me amiss,
+ Whom now hath slain this beast horrible!
+ And for it is an impossible
+ To find again e’er such a wife
+ I will live solé all my life.”
+
+ For now of newé, for their prow, {88b}
+ The wivés of full high prudénce
+ Have of assent made their avow
+ T’ exile for ever patiénce,
+ And cried wolfs-head obedience,
+ To maké Chichevaché fail
+ Of them to findé more vitail.
+
+ Now Chichevaché may fast long
+ And die for all her cruelty,
+ Women have made themselves so strong
+ For to outrage humility.
+ O silly husbands, wo ben ye!
+ Such as can have no patiénce
+ Against your wivés violence.
+
+ If that ye suffer, ye be but dead,
+ Bicorn awaiteth you so sore;
+ Eke of your wives go stand in dread,
+ If ye gainsay them any more!
+ And thus ye stand, and have done yore,
+ Of life and death betwixt coveyne {89}
+ Linkéd in a double chain.
+
+
+
+
+Best to be Blyth.
+
+
+ BY WILLIAM DUNBAR.
+
+ FULL oft I muse, and hes in thocht
+ How this fals Warld is ay on flocht,
+ Quhair {91a} no thing ferme is nor degest; {91d}
+ And when I haif my mynd all socht,
+ For to be blyth me think it best.
+
+ This warld ever dois flicht and wary, {91b}
+ Fortoun sa fast hir quheill dois cary,
+ Na tyme but {91e} turning can tak rest;
+ For quhois fats change suld none be sary,
+ For to be blyth me think it best.
+
+ Wald men considdir in mynd richt weill,
+ Or Fortoun on him turn hir quheill,
+ That erdly honour may nocht lest,
+ His fall less panefull he suld feill;
+ For to be blyth me think it best.
+
+ Quha with this warld dois warsill {91c} and stryfe,
+ And dois his dayis in dolour dryfe,
+ Thocht he in lordschip be possest,
+ He levis bot ane wrechit lyfe:
+ For to be blyth me think it best.
+
+ Off warldis gud and grit richess,
+ Quhat fruct hes man but merriness?
+ Thocht he this warld had eist and west,
+ All wer povertie but glaidness:
+ For to be blyth me think it best.
+
+ Quho suld for tynsall {92a} drowp or de,
+ For thyng that is bot vanitie;
+ Sen to the lyfe that evir dois lest,
+ Heir is bot twynkling of an ee:
+ For to be blyth me think it best.
+
+ Had I for warldis unkyndnéss
+ In hairt tane ony heviness,
+ Or fro my plesans bene opprest;
+ I had bene deid lang syne dowtless:
+ For to be blyth me think it best.
+
+ How evir this warld do change and vary,
+ Lat us in hairt nevir moir be sary,
+ But evir be reddy and addrest
+ To pass out of this frawfull fary: {92b}
+ For to be blyth me think it best.
+
+
+
+
+Dowsabell.
+
+
+ BY MICHAEL DRAYTON.
+
+ FAR in the country of Arden
+ There woned {93d} a knight, hight Cassamen,
+ As bold as Isenbras:
+ Fell was he and eager bent
+ In battle and in tournament
+ As was good Sir Topás.
+
+ He had, as antique stories tell,
+ A daughter clepéd Dowsabell,
+ A maiden fair and free.
+ And for she was her fathers heir,
+ Full well she was yconned {93a} the leir {93b}
+ Of mickle courtesie.
+
+ The silk well couth she twist and twine,
+ And make the finé marché pine, {93c}
+ And with the needle work;
+ And she couth help the priest to say
+ His matins on a holiday,
+ And sing a psalm in kirk.
+
+ She ware a frock of frolic green
+ Might well become a maiden queen,
+ Which seemly was to see;
+ A hood to that so neat and fine,
+ In colour like the columbine,
+ Inwrought full featously.
+
+ Her features all as fresh above
+ As is the grass that grows by Dove,
+ And lithe as lass of Kent.
+ Her skin as soft as Lemster {94a} wool,
+ And white as snow on Peakish hull, {94b}
+ Or swan that swims in Trent.
+
+ This maiden, in a morn betime,
+ Went forth, when May was in the prime,
+ To get sweet setiwall, {94c}
+ The honeysuckle, the harlock, {94d}
+ The lily and the lady-smock, {94k}
+ To deck her summer-hall. {94e}
+
+ Thus, as she wandered here and there,
+ And pickéd of the bloomy brere,
+ She chancéd to espy
+ A shepherd sitting on a bank,
+ Like chanticleer he crowéd crank, {94f}
+ And piped full merrily.
+
+ He learned his sheep {94g} as he him list,
+ When he would whistle in his fist,
+ To feed about him round,
+ Whilst he full many a carol sang,
+ Until the fields and meadows rang,
+ And that the woods did sound.
+
+ In favour this same shepherd swain
+ Was like the bedlam Tamburlaine
+ Which held proud kings in awe.
+ But meek as any lamb mought be,
+ And innocent of ill as he
+ Whom his lewd brother slaw.
+
+ This shepherd ware a sheep-gray cloke,
+ Which was of the finest loke
+ That could be cut with shear;
+ His mittens were of bauzon’s {94h} skin,
+ His cockers {94i} were of cordiwin, {94j}
+ His hood of minivere.
+
+ His awl and lingell {95a} in a thong;
+ His tarbox on his broadbelt hung,
+ His breech of Cointree blue.
+ Full crisp and curléd were his locks,
+ His brows as white as Albion rocks,
+ So like a lover true.
+
+ And piping still he spent the day
+ So merry as the popinjay,
+ Which likéd Dowsabell,
+ That would she ought, or would she nought,
+ This lad would never from her thought,
+ She in love-longing fell.
+
+ At length she tuckéd up her frock,
+ White as the lily was her smock;
+ She drew the shepherd nigh;
+ But then the shepherd piped a good,
+ That all the sheep forsook their food,
+ To hear his melodie.
+
+ “Thy sheep,” quoth she, “cannot be lean
+ That have a jolly shepherd swain
+ The which can pipe so well.”
+ “Yea, but,” saith he, “their shepherd may,
+ If piping thus he pine away
+ In love of Dowsabell.”
+
+ “Of love, fond boy, take then no keep,” {95b}
+ Quoth she; “Look well unto thy sheep,
+ Lest they should hap to stray.”
+ Quoth he, “So had I done full well,
+ Had I not seen fair Dowsabell
+ Come forth to gather may.”
+
+ With that she ’gan to vail her head,
+ Her cheeks were like the roses red,
+ But not a word she said.
+ With that the shepherd ’gan to frown,
+ He threw his pretty pipes adown,
+ And on the ground him laid.
+
+ Saith she, “I may not stay till night
+ And leave my summer-hall undight,
+ And all for love of thee.”
+ “My cote,” saith he, “nor yet my fold
+ Shall neither sheep nor shepherd hold,
+ Except thou favour me.”
+
+ Saith she, “Yet liever were I dead
+ Than I should [yield me to be wed],
+ And all for love of men.”
+ Saith he, “Yet are you too unkind
+ If in your heart you cannot find
+ To love us now and then.
+
+ “And I to thee will be as kind
+ As Colin was to Rosalind
+ Of courtesy the flower.”
+ “Then will I be as true,” quoth she,
+ “As ever maiden yet might be
+ Unto her paramour.”
+
+ With that she bent her snow-white knee
+ Down by the shepherd kneeléd she,
+ And him she sweetly kist.
+ With that the shepherd whooped for joy.
+ Quoth he, “There’s never shepherd’s boy
+ That ever was so blist.”
+
+
+
+
+Nymphidia, the Court of Fairy.
+
+
+ BY MICHAEL DRAYTON.
+
+ OLD Chaucer doth of Topas tell,
+ Mad Rabelais of Pantágruél,
+ A later third of Dowsabel
+ With such poor trifles playing;
+ Others the like have laboured at,
+ Some of this thing and some of that,
+ And many of they knew not what,
+ But what they may be saying.
+
+ Another sort there be, that will
+ Be talking of the Fairies still,
+ For never can they have their fill,
+ As they were wedded to them;
+ No tales of them their thirst can slake,
+ So much delight therein they take,
+ And some strange thing they fain would make,
+ Knew they the way to do them.
+
+ Then since no Muse hath been so bold,
+ Or of the later, or the old,
+ Those elvish secrets to unfold,
+ Which lie from others’ reading;
+ My active Muse to light shall bring
+ The court of that proud Fairy King,
+ And tell there of the revelling.
+ Jove prosper my proceeding!
+
+ And thou, Nymphidia, gentle Fay,
+ Which, meeting me upon the way,
+ These secrets didst to me bewray,
+ Which now I am in telling;
+ My pretty, light, fantastic maid,
+ I here invoke thee to my aid,
+ That I may speak what thou hast said,
+ In numbers smoothly swelling.
+
+ This palace standeth in the air,
+ By necromancy placéd there,
+ That it no tempest needs to fear,
+ Which way soe’er it blow it.
+ And somewhat southward tow’rds the noon,
+ Whence lies a way up to the moon,
+ And thence the Fairy can as soon
+ Pass to the earth below it.
+
+ The walls of spiders’ legs are made
+ Well mortiséd and finely laid;
+ It was the master of his trade
+ It curiously that builded;
+ The windows of the eyes of cats,
+ And for the roof, instead of slats,
+ Is covered with the skins of bats,
+ With moonshine that are gilded.
+
+ Hence Oberon him sport to make,
+ Their rest when weary mortals take,
+ And none but only fairies wake,
+ Descendeth for his pleasure;
+ And Mab, his merry Queen, by night
+ Bestrides young folks that lie upright,
+ (In elder times the mare that hight),
+ Which plagues them out of measure.
+
+ Hence shadows, seeming idle shapes,
+ Of little frisking elves and apes
+ To earth do make their wanton scapes,
+ As hope of pastime hastes them;
+ Which maids think on the hearth they see
+ When fires well-nigh consuméd be,
+ There dancing hays {98} by two and three,
+ Just as their fancy casts them.
+
+ These make our girls their sluttery rue,
+ By pinching them both black and blue,
+ And put a penny in their shoe
+ The house for cleanly sweeping;
+ And in their courses make that round
+ In meadows and in marshes found,
+ Of them so called the Fairy Ground,
+ Of which they have the keeping.
+
+ These when a child haps to be got
+ Which after proves an idiot
+ When folk perceive it thriveth not,
+ The fault therein to smother,
+ Some silly, doting, brainless calf
+ That understands things by the half,
+ Say that the Fairy left this oaf
+ And took away the other.
+
+ But listen, and I shall you tell
+ A chance in Faery that befell,
+ Which certainly may please some well,
+ In love and arms delighting,
+ Of Oberon that jealous grew
+ Of one of his own Fairy crew,
+ Too well, he feared, his Queen that knew,
+ His love but ill requiting.
+
+ Pigwiggin was this Fairy Knight,
+ One wondrous gracious in the sight
+ Of fair Queen Mab, which day and night
+ He amorously observéd;
+ Which made King Oberon suspect
+ His service took too good effect,
+ His sauciness had often checkt,
+ And could have wished him stervéd.
+
+ Pigwiggin gladly would commend
+ Some token to Queen Mab to send,
+ If sea or land him aught could lend
+ Were worthy of her wearing;
+ At length this lover doth devise
+ A bracelet made of emmets’ eyes,
+ A thing he thought that she would prize,
+ No whit her state impairing.
+
+ And to the Queen a letter writes,
+ Which he most curiously indites,
+ Conjuring her by all the rites
+ Of love, she would be pleaséd
+ To meet him, her true servant, where
+ They might, without suspect or fear,
+ Themselves to one another clear
+ And have their poor hearts easéd.
+
+ At midnight, the appointed hour;
+ “And for the Queen a fitting bower,”
+ Quoth he, “is that fair cowslip flower
+ On Hient Hill {100} that bloweth;
+ In all your train there’s not a fay
+ That ever went to gather may
+ But she hath made it, in her way,
+ The tallest there that groweth.”
+
+ When by Tom Thumb, a Fairy Page,
+ He sent it, and doth him engage
+ By promise of a mighty wage
+ It secretly to carry;
+ Which done, the Queen her maids doth call,
+ And bids them to be ready all:
+ She would go see her summer hall,
+ She could no longer tarry.
+
+ Her chariot ready straight is made,
+ Each thing therein is fitting laid,
+ That she by nothing might be stayed,
+ For nought must be her letting;
+ Four nimble gnats the horses were,
+ Their harnesses of gossamere,
+ Fly Cranion the charioteer
+ Upon the coach-box getting.
+
+ Her chariot of a snail’s fine shell,
+ Which for the colours did excel,
+ The fair Queen Mab becoming well,
+ So lively was the limning;
+ The seat the soft wool of the bee,
+ The cover, gallantly to see,
+ The wing of a pied butterfly;
+ I trow ’twas simple trimming.
+
+ The wheels composed of cricket’s bones,
+ And daintily made for the nonce,
+ For fear of rattling on the stones
+ With thistle-down they shod it;
+ For all her maidens much did fear
+ If Oberon had chanced to hear
+ That Mab his Queen should have been there,
+ He would not have abode it.
+
+ She mounts her chariot with a trice,
+ Nor would she stay, for no advice,
+ Until her maids that were so nice
+ To wait on her were fitted;
+ But ran herself away alone,
+ Which when they heard, there was not one
+ But hasted after to be gone,
+ As he had been diswitted.
+
+ Hop and Mop and Drop so clear,
+ Pip and Trip and Skip that were
+ To Mab, their sovereign, ever dear,
+ Her special maids of honour;
+ Fib and Tib and Pink and Pin,
+ Tick and Quick and Jill and Jin,
+ Tit and Nit and Wap and Win,
+ The train that wait upon her.
+
+ Upon a grasshopper they got
+ And, what with amble, what with trot,
+ For hedge and ditch they sparéd not,
+ But after her they hie them;
+ A cobweb over them they throw,
+ To shield the wind if it should blow,
+ Themselves they wisely could bestow
+ Lest any should espy them.
+
+ But let us leave Queen Mab awhile,
+ Through many a gate, o’er many a stile,
+ That now had gotten by this wile,
+ Her dear Pigwiggin kissing;
+ And tell how Oberon doth fare,
+ Who grew as mad as any hare
+ When he had sought each place with care,
+ And found his Queen was missing.
+
+ By grisly Pluto he doth swear,
+ He rent his clothes and tore his hair,
+ And as he runneth here and there
+ An acorn cup he greeteth,
+ Which soon he taketh by the stalk,
+ About his head he lets it walk,
+ Nor doth he any creature balk,
+ But lays on all he meeteth.
+
+ The Tuscan Poet doth advance,
+ The frantic Paladin of France,
+ And those more ancient do enhance
+ Alcides in his fury,
+ And others Aiax Telamon,
+ But to this time there hath been none
+ So Bedlam as our Oberon,
+ Of which I dare assure ye.
+
+ And first encountering with a Wasp,
+ He in his arms the fly doth clasp
+ As though his breath he forth would grasp,
+ Him for Pigwiggin taking:
+ “Where is my wife, thou rogue?” quoth be;
+ “Pigwiggin, she is come to thee;
+ Restore her, or thou diest by me!”
+ Whereat the poor Wasp quaking
+
+ Cries, “Oberon, great Fairy King,
+ Content thee, I am no such thing:
+ I am a Wasp, behold my sting!”
+ At which the Fairy started;
+ When soon away the Wasp doth go,
+ Poor wretch, was never frighted so;
+ He thought his wings were much too slow,
+ O’erjoyed they so were parted.
+
+ He next upon a Glow-worm light,
+ You must suppose it now was night,
+ Which, for her hinder part was bright,
+ He took to be a devil,
+ And furiously doth her assail
+ For carrying fire in her tail;
+ He thrashed her rough coat with his flail;
+ The mad King feared no evil.
+
+ “Oh!” quoth the Glow-worm, “hold thy hand,
+ Thou puissant King of Fairy-land!
+ Thy mighty strokes who may withstand?
+ Hold, or of life despair I!”
+ Together then herself doth roll,
+ And tumbling down into a hole
+ She seemed as black as any coal;
+ Which vext away the Fairy.
+
+ From thence he ran into a hive:
+ Amongst the bees he letteth drive,
+ And down their combs begins to rive,
+ All likely to have spoiléd,
+ Which with their wax his face besmeared,
+ And with their honey daubed his beard:
+ It would have made a man afeared
+ To see how he was moiléd.
+
+ A new adventure him betides;
+ He met an Ant, which he bestrides,
+ And post thereon away he rides,
+ Which with his haste doth stumble;
+ And came full over on her snout,
+ Her heels so threw the dirt about,
+ For she by no means could get out,
+ But over him doth tumble.
+
+ And being in this piteous case,
+ And all be-slurréd head and face,
+ On runs he in this wild-goose chase,
+ As here and there he rambles;
+ Half blind, against a mole-hill hit,
+ And for a mountain taking it,
+ For all he was out of his wit
+ Yet to the top he scrambles.
+
+ And being gotten to the top,
+ Yet there himself he could not stop,
+ But down on th’ other side doth chop,
+ And to the foot came rumbling;
+ So that the grubs, therein that bred,
+ Hearing such turmoil over head,
+ Thought surely they had all been dead;
+ So fearful was the jumbling.
+
+ And falling down into a lake,
+ Which him up to the neck doth take,
+ His fury somewhat it doth slake;
+ He calleth for a ferry;
+ Where you may some recovery note;
+ What was his club he made his boat,
+ And in his oaken cup doth float,
+ As safe as in a wherry.
+
+ Men talk of the adventures strange
+ Of Don Quixoit, and of their change
+ Through which he arméd oft did range,
+ Of Sancho Pancha’s travel;
+ But should a man tell every thing
+ Done by this frantic Fairy King,
+ And them in lofty numbers sing,
+ It well his wits might gravel.
+
+ Scarce set on shore, but therewithal
+ He meeteth Puck, which most men call
+ Hobgoblin, and on him doth fall,
+ With words from frenzy spoken:
+ “Oh, oh,” quoth Hob, “God save thy grace!
+ Who drest thee in this piteous case?
+ He thus that spoiled my sovereign’s face,
+ I would his neck were broken!”
+
+ This Puck seems but a dreaming dolt,
+ Still walking like a ragged colt,
+ And oft out of a bush doth bolt,
+ Of purpose to deceive us;
+ And leading us makes us to stray,
+ Long winter’s nights, out of the way;
+ And when we stick in mire and clay,
+ Hob doth with laughter leave us.
+
+ “Dear Puck,” quoth he, “my wife is gone:
+ As e’er thou lov’st King Oberon,
+ Let everything but this alone,
+ With vengeance and pursue her;
+ Bring her to me alive or dead,
+ Or that vile thief, Pigwiggin’s head,
+ That villain hath [my Queen misled];
+ He to this folly drew her.”
+
+ Quoth Puck, “My liege, I’ll never lin,
+ But I will thorough thick and thin,
+ Until at length I bring her in;
+ My dearest lord, ne’er doubt it.”
+ Thorough brake, thorough briar,
+ Thorough muck, thorough mire,
+ Thorough water, thorough fire;
+ And thus goes Puck about it.
+
+ This thing Nymphidia overheard,
+ That on this mad king had a guard,
+ Not doubting of a great reward,
+ For first this business broaching;
+ And through the air away doth go,
+ Swift as an arrow from the bow,
+ To let her sovereign Mab to know
+ What peril was approaching.
+
+ The Queen, bound with Love’s powerful charm,
+ Sate with Pigwiggin arm in arm;
+ Her merry maids, that thought no harm,
+ About the room were skipping;
+ A humble-bee, their minstrel, played
+ Upon his hautboy, every maid
+ Fit for this revel was arrayed,
+ The hornpipe neatly tripping.
+
+ In comes Nymphidia, and doth cry,
+ “My sovereign, for your safety fly,
+ For there is danger but too nigh;
+ I posted to forewarn you:
+ The King hath sent Hobgoblin out,
+ To seek you all the fields about,
+ And of your safety you may doubt,
+ If he but once discern you.”
+
+ When, like an uproar in a town,
+ Before them everything went down;
+ Some tore a ruff, and some a gown,
+ ’Gainst one another justling;
+ They flew about like chaff i’ th’ wind;
+ For haste some left their masks behind;
+ Some could not stay their gloves to find;
+ There never was such bustling.
+
+ Forth ran they, by a secret way,
+ Into a brake that near them lay;
+ Yet much they doubted there to stay,
+ Lest Hob should hap to find them;
+ He had a sharp and piercing sight,
+ All one to him the day and night;
+ And therefore were resolved, by flight,
+ To leave this place behind them.
+
+ At length one chanced to find a nut,
+ In th’ end of which a hole was cut,
+ Which lay upon a hazel root,
+ There scattered by a squirrel
+ Which out the kernel gotten had;
+ When quoth this Fay, “Dear Queen, be glad;
+ Let Oberon be ne’er so mad,
+ I’ll set you safe from peril.
+
+ “Come all into this nut,” quoth she,
+ “Come closely in; be ruled by me;
+ Each one may here a chooser be,
+ For room ye need not wrastle:
+ Nor need ye be together heaped;”
+ So one by one therein they crept,
+ And lying down they soundly slept,
+ And safe as in a castle.
+
+ Nymphidia, that this while doth watch,
+ Perceived if Puck the Queen should catch
+ That he should be her over-match,
+ Of which she well bethought her;
+ Found it must be some powerful charm,
+ The Queen against him that must arm,
+ Or surely he would do her harm,
+ For throughly he had sought her.
+
+ And listening if she aught could hear,
+ That her might hinder, or might fear;
+ But finding still the coast was clear;
+ Nor creature had descried her;
+ Each circumstance and having scanned,
+ She came thereby to understand,
+ Puck would be with them out of hand;
+ When to her charms she hied her.
+
+ And first her fern-seed doth bestow,
+ The kernel of the mistletoe;
+ And here and there as Puck should go,
+ With terror to affright him,
+ She night-shade strews to work him ill,
+ Therewith her vervain and her dill,
+ That hindreth witches of their will,
+ Of purpose to despite him.
+
+ Then sprinkles she the juice of rue,
+ That groweth underneath the yew;
+ With nine drops of the midnight dew,
+ From lunary distilling:
+ The molewarp’s {108a} brain mixed therewithal;
+ And with the same the pismire’s gall:
+ For she in nothing short would fall,
+ The Fairy was so willing.
+
+ Then thrice under a briar doth creep,
+ Which at both ends was rooted deep,
+ And over it three times she leap;
+ Her magic much availing:
+ Then on Prosérpina doth call,
+ And so upon her spell doth fall,
+ Which here to you repeat I shall,
+ Not in one tittle failing.
+
+ “By the croaking of a frog;
+ By the howling of the dog;
+ By the crying of the hog
+ Against the storm arising;
+ By the evening curfew bell,
+ By the doleful dying knell,
+ O let this my direful spell,
+ Hob, hinder thy surprising!
+
+ “By the mandrake’s {108b} dreadful groans;
+ By the lubrican’s {108c} sad moans;
+ By the noise of dead men’s bones
+ In charnel-houses rattling;
+ By the hissing of the snake,
+ The rustling of the fire-drake, {108d}
+ I charge thee thou this place forsake,
+ Nor of Queen Mab be prattling!
+
+ “By the whirlwind’s hollow sound,
+ By the thunder’s dreadful stound,
+ Yells of spirits underground,
+ I charge thee not to fear us;
+ By the screech-owl’s dismal note,
+ By the black night-raven’s throat,
+ I charge thee, Hob, to tear thy coat
+ With thorns, if thou come near us!”
+
+ Her spell thus spoke, she stept aside,
+ And in a chink herself doth hide,
+ To see thereof what would betide,
+ For she doth only mind him:
+ When presently she Puck espies,
+ And well she marked his gloating eyes,
+ How under every leaf he pries,
+ In seeking still to find them.
+
+ But once the circle got within,
+ The charms to work do straight begin,
+ And he was caught as in a gin;
+ For as he thus was busy,
+ A pain he in his head-piece feels,
+ Against a stubbéd tree he reels,
+ And up went poor Hobgoblin’s heels,
+ Alas! his brain was dizzy!
+
+ At length upon his feet he gets,
+ Hobgoblin fumes, Hobgoblin frets;
+ And as again he forward sets,
+ And through the bushes scrambles,
+ A stump doth trip him in his pace;
+ Down comes poor Hob upon his face,
+ And lamentably tore his case,
+ Amongst the briars and brambles.
+
+ “A plague upon Queen Mab!” quoth he,
+ “And all her maids where’er they be
+ I think the devil guided me,
+ To seek her so provokéd!”
+ Where stumbling at a piece of wood,
+ He fell into a ditch of mud,
+ Where to the very chin he stood,
+ In danger to be chokéd.
+
+ Now worse than e’er he was before,
+ Poor Puck doth yell, poor Puck doth roar,
+ That waked Queen Mab, who doubted sore
+ Some treason had been wrought her:
+ Until Nymphidia told the Queen
+ What she had done, what she had seen,
+ Who then had well-near cracked her spleen
+ With very extreme laughter.
+
+ But leave we Hob to clamber out,
+ Queen Mab and all her Fairy rout,
+ And come again to have a bout
+ With Oberon yet madding:
+ And with Pigwiggin now distraught,
+ Who much was troubled in his thought,
+ That he so long the Queen had sought,
+ And through the fields was gadding.
+
+ And as he runs he still doth cry,
+ “King Oberon, I thee defy,
+ And dare thee here in arms to try,
+ For my dear lady’s honour:
+ For that she is a Queen right good,
+ In whose defence I’ll shed my blood,
+ And that thou in this jealous mood
+ Hast laid this slander on her.”
+
+ And quickly arms him for the field,
+ A little cockle-shell his shield,
+ Which he could very bravely wield;
+ Yet could it not be piercéd:
+ His spear a bent both stiff and strong,
+ And well-near of two inches long:
+ The pile was of a horse-fly’s tongue,
+ Whose sharpness nought reverséd.
+
+ And puts him on a coat of mail,
+ Which was made of a fish’s scale,
+ That when his foe should him assail,
+ No point should be prevailing:
+ His rapier was a hornet’s sting,
+ It was a very dangerous thing,
+ For if he chanced to hurt the King,
+ It would be long in healing.
+
+ His helmet was a beetle’s head,
+ Most horrible and full of dread,
+ That able was to strike one dead,
+ Yet did it well become him;
+ And for a plume a horse’s hair,
+ Which, being tosséd with the air,
+ Had force to strike his foe with fear,
+ And turn his weapon from him.
+
+ Himself he on an earwig set,
+ Yet scarce he on his back could get,
+ So oft and high he did curvet,
+ Ere he himself could settle:
+ He made him turn, and stop, and bound,
+ To gallop, and to trot the round,
+ He scarce could stand on any ground,
+ He was so full of mettle.
+
+ When soon he met with Tomalin,
+ One that a valiant knight had been,
+ And to King Oberon of kin;
+ Quoth he, “Thou manly Fairy,
+ Tell Oberon I come prepared,
+ Then bid him stand upon his guard;
+ This hand his baseness shall reward,
+ Let him be ne’er so wary.
+
+ “Say to him thus, that I defy
+ His slanders and his infamy,
+ And as a mortal enemy
+ Do publicly proclaim him:
+ Withal that if I had mine own,
+ He should not wear the Fairy crown,
+ But with a vengeance should come down,
+ Nor we a king should name him.”
+
+ This Tomalin could not abide,
+ To hear his sovereign vilified;
+ But to the Fairy Court him hied,
+ (Full furiously he posted,)
+ With everything Pigwiggin said:
+ How title to the crown he laid,
+ And in what arms he was arrayed,
+ As how himself he boasted.
+
+ Twixt head and foot, from point to point,
+ He told the arming of each joint,
+ In every piece how neat and quoint,
+ For Tomalin could do it:
+ How fair he sat, how sure he rid,
+ As of the courser he bestrid,
+ How managed, and how well he did:
+ The King which listened to it,
+
+ Quoth he, “Go, Tomalin, with speed,
+ Provide me arms, provide my steed,
+ And everything that I shall need;
+ By thee I will be guided:
+ To straight account call thou thy wit;
+ See there be wanting not a whit,
+ In everything see thou me fit,
+ Just as my foe’s provided.”
+
+ Soon flew this news through Fairy-land,
+ Which gave Queen Mab to understand
+ The combat that was then in hand
+ Betwixt those men so mighty:
+ Which greatly she began to rue,
+ Perceiving that all Fairy knew
+ The first occasion from her grew
+ Of these affairs so weighty.
+
+ Wherefore attended with her maids,
+ Through fogs, and mists, and damps she wades,
+ To Proserpine the Queen of Shades,
+ To treat, that it would please her
+ The cause into her hands to take,
+ For ancient love and friendship’s sake,
+ And soon thereof an end to make,
+ Which of much care would ease her.
+
+ A while there let we Mab alone,
+ And come we to King Oberon,
+ Who, armed to meet his foe, is gone,
+ For proud Pigwiggin crying:
+ Who sought the Fairy King as fast,
+ And had so well his journeys cast,
+ That he arrivéd at the last,
+ His puissant foe espying.
+
+ Stout Tomalin came with the King,
+ Tom Thumb doth on Pigwiggin bring,
+ That perfect were in everything
+ To single fights belonging:
+ And therefore they themselves engage,
+ To see them exercise their rage,
+ With fair and comely equipage,
+ Not one the other wronging.
+
+ So like in arms these champions were,
+ As they had been a very pair,
+ So that a man would almost swear,
+ That either had been either;
+ Their furious steeds began to neigh,
+ That they were heard a mighty way;
+ Their staves upon their rests they lay;
+ Yet ere they flew together
+
+ Their seconds minister an oath,
+ Which was indifferent to them both,
+ That on their knightly faith and troth
+ No magic them suppliéd;
+ And sought them that they had no charms,
+ Wherewith to work each other harms,
+ But came with simple open arms
+ To have their causes triéd.
+
+ Together furiously they ran,
+ That to the ground came horse and man;
+ The blood out of their helmets span,
+ So sharp were their encounters;
+ And though they to the earth were thrown,
+ Yet quickly they regained their own,
+ Such nimbleness was never shown,
+ They were two gallant mounters.
+
+ When in a second course again
+ They forward came with might and main,
+ Yet which had better of the twain,
+ The seconds could not judge yet;
+ Their shields were into pieces cleft,
+ Their helmets from their heads were reft,
+ And to defend them nothing left,
+ These champions would not budge yet.
+
+ Away from them their staves they threw,
+ Their cruel swords they quickly drew,
+ And freshly they the fight renew,
+ They every stroke redoubled:
+ Which made Prosérpina take heed,
+ And make to them the greater speed,
+ For fear lest they too much should bleed,
+ Which wondrously her troubled.
+
+ When to th’ infernal Styx she goes,
+ She takes the fogs from thence that rose,
+ And {114} in a bag doth them enclose:
+ When well she had them blended,
+ She hies her then to Lethe spring,
+ A bottle and thereof doth bring,
+ Wherewith she meant to work the thing
+ Which only she intended.
+
+ Now Proserpine with Mab is gone,
+ Unto the place where Oberon
+ And proud Pigwiggin, one to one,
+ Both to be slain were likely:
+ And there themselves they closely hide,
+ Because they would not be espied;
+ For Proserpine meant to decide
+ The matter very quickly.
+
+ And suddenly unties the poke,
+ Which out of it sent such a smoke,
+ As ready was them all to choke,
+ So grievous was the pother;
+ So that the knights each other lost,
+ And stood as still as any post;
+ Tom Thumb nor Tomalin could boast
+ Themselves of any other.
+
+ But when the mist ’gan somewhat cease,
+ Prosérpina commandeth peace;
+ And that a while they should release
+ Each other of their peril:
+ “Which here,” quoth she, “I do proclaim
+ To all in dreadful Pluto’s name,
+ That as ye will eschew his blame,
+ You let me bear the quarrel:
+
+ “But here yourselves you must engage,
+ Somewhat to cool your spleenish rage;
+ Your grievous thirst and to assuage
+ That first you drink this liquor,
+ Which shall your understanding clear,
+ As plainly shall to you appear;
+ Those things from me that you shall hear,
+ Conceiving much the quicker.”
+
+ This Lethe water, you must know,
+ The memory destroyeth so,
+ That of our weal, or of our woe,
+ Is all remembrance blotted;
+ Of it nor can you ever think,
+ For they no sooner took this drink,
+ But nought into their brains could sink
+ Of what had them besotted.
+
+ King Oberon forgotten had,
+ That he for jealousy ran mad,
+ But of his Queen was wondrous glad,
+ And asked how they came thither:
+ Pigwiggin likewise doth forget
+ That he Queen Mab had ever met;
+ Or that they were so hard beset,
+ When they were found together.
+
+ Nor neither of them both had thought,
+ That e’er they each had other sought,
+ Much less that they a combat fought,
+ But such a dream were lothing.
+ Tom Thumb had got a little sup,
+ And Tomalin scarce kissed the cup,
+ Yet had their brains so sure locked up,
+ That they remembered nothing.
+
+ Queen Mab and her light maids, the while,
+ Amongst themselves do closely smile,
+ To see the King caught with this wile,
+ With one another jesting:
+ And to the Fairy Court they went,
+ With mickle joy and merriment,
+ Which thing was done with good intent,
+ And thus I left them feasting.
+
+
+
+
+POPE’S
+Rape of the Lock.
+
+
+ AN HEROI-COMICAL POEM.
+
+ _Nolueram_, _Belinda_, _tuos violare capillos_;
+ _Sed juvat_, _hoc precibus me tribuisse tuis_.
+
+ —MART., _Epigr._ xii. 84.
+
+
+
+CANTO I.
+
+
+ WHAT dire offence from amorous causes springs,
+ What mighty contests rise from trivial things,
+ I sing—This verse to Caryl, Muse! is due:
+ This, even Belinda may vouchsafe to view:
+ Slight is the subject, but not so the praise,
+ If she inspire, and he approve my lays.
+
+ Say what strange motive, Goddess! could compel
+ A well-bred lord to assault a gentle belle?
+ O say what stranger cause, yet unexplored,
+ Could make a gentle belle reject a lord?
+ In tasks so bold, can little men engage,
+ And in soft bosoms dwells such mighty rage?
+
+ Sol through white curtains shot a timorous ray,
+ And oped those eyes that must eclipse the day:
+ Now lap-dogs give themselves the rousing shake,
+ And sleepless lovers, just at twelve, awake:
+ Thrice rung the bell, the slipper knocked the ground,
+ And the pressed watch returned a silver sound.
+ Belinda still her downy pillow pressed,
+ Her guardian Sylph prolonged the balmy rest;
+ ’Twas he had summoned to her silent bed
+ The morning-dream that hovered o’er her head;
+ A youth more glittering than a birth-night beau,
+ (That even in slumber caused her cheek to glow)
+ Seemed to her ear his winning lips to lay,
+ And thus in whispers said, or seemed to say:
+
+ “Fairest of mortals, thou distinguished care
+ Of thousand bright inhabitants of air!
+ If e’er one vision touched thy infant thought,
+ Of all the nurse and all the priest have taught;
+ Of airy elves by moonlight shadows seen,
+ The silver token, and the circled green,
+ Or virgins visited by angel-powers,
+ With golden crowns and wreaths of heavenly flowers;
+ Hear and believe! thy own importance know,
+ Nor bound thy narrow views to things below.
+ Some secret truths, from learned pride concealed,
+ To maids alone and children are revealed:
+ What though no credit doubting wits may give?
+ The fair and innocent shall still believe.
+ Know, then, unnumbered spirits round thee fly,
+ The light militia of the lower sky:
+ These, though unseen, are ever on the wing,
+ Hang o’er the box, and hover round the ring.
+ Think what an equipage thou hast in air,
+ And view with scorn two pages and a chair.
+ As now your own, our beings were of old,
+ And once enclosed in woman’s beauteous mould;
+ Thence, by a soft transition, we repair
+ From earthly vehicles to these of air.
+ Think not, when woman’s transient breath is fled,
+ That all her vanities at once are dead;
+ Succeeding vanities she still regards,
+ And though she plays no more, o’erlooks the cards.
+ Her joy in gilded chariots, when alive,
+ And love of ombre, after death survive.
+ For when the fair in all their pride expire,
+ To their first elements their souls retire:
+ The sprites of fiery termagants in flame
+ Mount up, and take a Salamander’s name.
+ Soft yielding minds to water glide away,
+ And sip, with nymphs, their elemental tea.
+ The graver prude sinks downward to a gnome,
+ In search of mischief still on earth to roam,
+ The light coquettes in sylphs aloft repair,
+ And sport and flutter in the fields of air.
+
+ “Know further yet; whoever fair and chaste
+ Rejects mankind, is by some sylph embraced:
+ For spirits, freed from mortal laws, with ease
+ Assume what sexes and what shapes they please.
+ What guards the purity of melting maids,
+ In courtly balls and midnight masquerades,
+ Safe from the treacherous friend, the daring spark,
+ The glance by day, the whisper in the dark,
+ When kind occasion prompts their warm desires,
+ When music softens, and when dancing fires?
+ ’Tis but their sylph, the wise celestials know,
+ Though honour is the word with men below.
+
+ “Some nymphs there are, too conscious of their face,
+ For life predestined to the gnomes’ embrace.
+ These swell their prospects and exalt their pride,
+ When offers are disdained, and love denied:
+ Then gay ideas crowd the vacant brain,
+ While peers, and dukes, and all their sweeping train,
+ And garters, stars, and coronets appear,
+ And in soft sounds, Your Grace salutes their ear.
+ ’Tis these that early taint the female soul,
+ Instruct the eyes of young coquettes to roll,
+ Teach infant cheeks a hidden blush to know,
+ And little hearts to flutter at a beau.
+
+ “Oft, when the world imagine women stray,
+ The sylphs through mystic mazes guide their way,
+ Through all the giddy circle they pursue,
+ And old impertinence expel by new.
+ What tender maid but must a victim fall
+ To one man’s treat, but for another’s ball?
+ When Florio speaks what virgin could withstand,
+ If gentle Damon did not squeeze her hand?
+ With varying vanities, from every part,
+ They shift the moving toyshop of their heart;
+ Where wigs with wigs, with sword-knots sword-knots strive,
+ Beaux banish beaux, and coaches coaches drive.
+ This erring mortal’s levity may call;
+ Oh, blind to truth! the sylphs contrive it all.
+
+ “Of these am I, who thy protection claim,
+ A watchful sprite, and Ariel is my name.
+ Late, as I ranged the crystal wilds of air,
+ In the clear mirror of thy ruling star
+ I saw, alas! some dread event impend,
+ Ere to the main this morning sun descend,
+ But heaven reveals not what, or how, or where:
+ Warned by the sylph, oh pious maid, beware!
+ This to disclose is all thy guardian can:
+ Beware of all, but most beware of man!”
+
+ He said; when Shock, who thought she slept too long,
+ Leaped up, and waked his mistress with his tongue.
+ ’Twas then, Belinda, if report say true,
+ Thy eyes first opened on a billet-doux;
+ Wounds, charms, and ardours were no sooner read,
+ But all the vision vanished from thy head.
+
+ And now, unveiled, the toilet stands displayed,
+ Each silver vase in mystic order laid.
+ First, robed in white, the nymph intent adores,
+ With head uncovered, the cosmetic powers.
+ A heavenly image in the glass appears,
+ To that she bends, to that her eyes she rears;
+ The inferior priestess, at her altar’s side,
+ Trembling begins the sacred rites of pride.
+ Unnumbered treasures ope at once, and here
+ The various offerings of the world appear;
+ From each she nicely culls with curious toil,
+ And decks the goddess with the glittering spoil.
+ This casket India’s glowing gems unlocks,
+ And all Arabia breathes from yonder box.
+ The tortoise here and elephant unite,
+ Transformed to combs, the speckled, and the white.
+ Here files of pins extend their shining rows,
+ Puffs, powders, patches, Bibles, billet-doux.
+ Now awful beauty puts on all its arms;
+ The fair each moment rises in her charms,
+ Repairs her smiles, awakens every grace,
+ And calls forth all the wonders of her face;
+ Sees by degrees a purer blush arise,
+ And keener lightnings quicken in her eyes.
+ The busy sylphs surround their darling care,
+ These set the head, and those divide the hair,
+ Some fold the sleeve, whilst others plait the gown;
+ And Betty’s praised for labours not her own.
+
+
+
+CANTO II.
+
+
+ NOT with more glories, in the ethereal plain,
+ The sun first rises o’er the purpled main,
+ Than, issuing forth, the rival of his beams
+ Launched on the bosom of the silver Thames.
+ Fair nymphs, and well-dressed youths around her shone,
+ But every eye was fixed on her alone.
+ On her white breast a sparkling cross she wore,
+ Which Jews might kiss, and Infidels adore.
+ Her lively looks a sprightly mind disclose,
+ Quick as her eyes, and as unfixed as those:
+ Favours to none, to all she smiles extends;
+ Oft she rejects, but never once offends.
+ Bright as the sun, her eyes the gazers strike,
+ And, like the sun, they shine on all alike,
+ Yet graceful ease, and sweetness void of pride,
+ Might hide her faults, if belles had faults to hide:
+ If to her share some female errors fall,
+ Look on her face, and you’ll forget ’em all.
+
+ This nymph, to the destruction of mankind,
+ Nourished two locks, which graceful hung behind
+ In equal curls, and well conspired to deck
+ With shining ringlets the smooth ivory neck.
+ Love in these labyrinths his slaves detains,
+ And mighty hearts are held in slender chains.
+ With hairy springes we the birds betray,
+ Slight lines of hair surprise the finny prey,
+ Fair tresses man’s imperial race ensnare,
+ And beauty draws us with a single hair.
+
+ Th’ adventurous Baron the bright locks admired;
+ He saw, he wished, and to the prize aspired.
+ Resolved to win, he meditates the way,
+ By force to ravish, or by fraud betray;
+ For when success a lover’s toil attends,
+ Few ask, if fraud or force attained his ends.
+
+ For this, ere Phœbus rose, he had implored
+ Propitious heaven, and every power adored,
+ But chiefly Love—to Love an altar built,
+ Of twelve vast French romances, neatly gilt.
+ There lay three garters, half a pair of gloves;
+ And all the trophies of his former loves;
+ With tender billet-doux he lights the pyre,
+ And breathes three amorous sighs to raise the fire,
+ Then prostrate falls, and begs with ardent eyes
+ Soon to obtain, and long possess the prize:
+ The powers gave ear, and granted half his prayer,
+ The rest, the winds dispersed in empty air.
+
+ But now secure the painted vessel glides,
+ The sunbeams trembling on the floating tides:
+ While melting music steals upon the sky,
+ And softened sounds along the waters die;
+ Smooth flow the waves, the zephyrs gently play,
+ Belinda smiled, and all the world was gay.
+ All but the Sylph—with careful thoughts oppressed,
+ Th’ impending woe sat heavy on his breast.
+ He summons straight his denizens of air;
+ The lucid squadrons round the sails repair:
+ Soft o’er the shrouds aërial whispers breathe,
+ That seemed but zephyrs to the train beneath.
+ Some to the sun their insect wings unfold,
+ Waft on the breeze, or sink in clouds of gold;
+ Transparent forms, too fine for mortal sight,
+ Their fluid bodies half dissolved in light,
+ Loose to the wind their airy garments flew,
+ Thin glittering textures of the filmy dew,
+ Dipped in the richest tincture of the skies,
+ Where light disports in ever-mingling dyes,
+ While every beam new transient colours flings,
+ Colours that change whene’er they wave their wings.
+ Amid the circle, on the gilded mast,
+ Superior by the head, was Ariel placed;
+ His purple pinions opening to the sun,
+ He raised his azure wand, and thus begun:
+
+ “Ye Sylphs and Sylphids, to your chief give ear!
+ Fays, Fairies, Genii, Elves, and Dæmons, hear!
+ Ye know the spheres and various tasks assigned
+ By laws eternal to th’ aërial kind.
+ Some in the fields of purest æther play,
+ And bask and whiten in the blaze of day.
+ Some guide the course of wandering orbs on high,
+ Or roll the planets through the boundless sky.
+ Some less refined, beneath the moon’s pale light
+ Pursue the stars that shoot athwart the night,
+ Or suck the mists in grosser air below,
+ Or dip their pinions in the painted bow,
+ Or brew fierce tempests on the wintry main,
+ Or o’er the glebe distil the kindly rain.
+ Others on earth o’er human race preside,
+ Watch all their ways, and all their actions guide:
+ Of these the chief the care of nations own,
+ And guard with arms divine the British throne.
+
+ “Our humbler province is to tend the fair,
+ Not a less pleasing, though less glorious care;
+ To save the powder from too rude a gale,
+ Nor let the imprisoned essences exhale;
+ To draw fresh colours from the vernal flowers;
+ To steal from rainbows ere they drop in showers
+ A brighter wash; to curl their waving hairs,
+ Assist their blushes, and inspire their airs;
+ Nay oft, in dreams, invention we bestow,
+ To change a flounce or add a furbelow.
+
+ “This day black omens threat the brightest fair
+ That e’er deserved a watchful spirit’s care;
+ Some dire disaster, or by force or slight;
+ But what, or where, the fates have wrapt in night.
+ Whether the nymph shall break Diana’s law,
+ Or some frail china jar receive a flaw;
+ Or stain her honour or her new brocade;
+ Forget her prayers, or miss a masquerade;
+ Or lose her heart, or necklace, at a ball;
+ Or whether Heaven has doomed that Shock must fall,
+ Haste, then, ye spirits! to your charge repair:
+ The fluttering fan be Zephyretta’s care;
+ The drops to thee, Brillante, we consign;
+ And, Momentilla, let the watch be thine;
+ Do thou, Crispissa, tend her favourite lock;
+ Ariel himself shall be the guard of Shock.
+
+ “To fifty chosen sylphs, of special note,
+ We trust th’ important charge, the petticoat:
+ Oft have we known that sevenfold fence to fail,
+ Though stiff with hoops, and armed with ribs of whale;
+ Form a strong line about the silver bound,
+ And guard the wide circumference around.
+
+ “Whatever spirit, careless of his charge,
+ His post neglects, or leaves the fair at large,
+ Shall feel sharp vengeance soon o’ertake his sins,
+ Be stopped in vials, or transfixed with pins;
+ Or plunged in lakes of bitter washes lie,
+ Or wedged whole ages in a bodkin’s eye:
+ Gums and pomatums shall his flight restrain,
+ While clogged he beats his silken wings in vain;
+ Or alum styptics with contracting power
+ Shrink his thin essence like a rivelled flower;
+ Or, as Ixion fixed, the wretch shall feel
+ The giddy motion of the whirling mill,
+ In fumes of burning chocolate shall glow,
+ And tremble at the sea that froths below!”
+
+ He spoke; the spirits from the sails descend;
+ Some, orb in orb, around the nymph extend;
+ Some thrid the mazy ringlets of her hair;
+ Some hang upon the pendants of her ear:
+ With beating hearts the dire event they wait,
+ Anxious and trembling, for the birth of Fate.
+
+
+
+CANTO III.
+
+
+ CLOSE by those meads, for ever crowned with flowers,
+ Where Thames with pride surveys his rising towers,
+ There stands a structure of majestic frame,
+ Which from the neighbouring Hampton takes its name.
+ Here Britain’s statesmen oft the fall foredoom
+ Of foreign tyrants and of nymphs at home;
+ Here thou, great Anna! whom three realms obey,
+ Dost sometimes counsel take—and sometimes tea.
+
+ Hither the heroes and the nymphs resort,
+ To taste awhile the pleasures of a court;
+ In various talk the instructive hours they passed,
+ Who gave the ball, or paid the visit last;
+ One speaks the glory of the British Queen,
+ And one describes a charming Indian screen;
+ A third interprets motions, looks, and eyes;
+ At every word a reputation dies.
+ Snuff, or the fan, supply each pause of chat,
+ With singing, laughing, ogling, _and all that_.
+
+ Meanwhile, declining from the noon of day,
+ The sun obliquely shoots his burning ray;
+ The hungry judges soon the sentence sign,
+ And wretches hang that jurymen may dine;
+ The merchant from the Exchange returns in peace,
+ And the long labours of the toilet cease.
+ Belinda now whom thirst of fame invites,
+ Burns to encounter two adventurous knights,
+ At Ombre singly to decide their doom;
+ And swells her breast with conquests yet to come.
+ Straight the three bands prepare in arms to join,
+ Each band the number of the sacred nine.
+ Soon as she spreads her hand, the aerial guard
+ Descend, and sit on each important card:
+ First Ariel, perched upon a Matador,
+ Then each, according to the rank they bore;
+ For sylphs, yet mindful of their ancient race,
+ Are, as when women, wondrous fond of place.
+
+ Behold, four Kings in majesty revered,
+ With hoary whiskers and a forky beard;
+ And four fair Queens whose hands sustain a flower,
+ The expressive emblem of their softer power;
+ Four Knaves in garbs succinct, a trusty band,
+ Caps on their heads, and halberts in their hand;
+ And particoloured troops, a shining train,
+ Draw forth to combat on the velvet plain.
+
+ The skilful Nymph reviews her force with care:
+ “Let Spades be trumps!” she said, and trumps they were.
+
+ Now move to war her sable Matadores,
+ In show like leaders of the swarthy Moors.
+ Spadillio first, unconquerable lord,
+ Led off two captive trumps, and swept the board.
+ As many more Manillio forced to yield,
+ And marched a victor from the verdant field.
+ Him Basto followed, but his fate more hard
+ Gained but one trump and one plebeian card.
+ With his broad sabre next, a chief in years,
+ The hoary Majesty of Spades appears,
+ Puts forth one manly leg, to sight revealed,
+ The rest, his many-coloured robe concealed.
+ The rebel Knave, who dares his prince engage,
+ Proves the just victim of his royal rage.
+ Even mighty Pam, {126} that Kings and Queens o’erthrew
+ And mowed down armies in the fights of Lu,
+ Sad chance of war! now destitute of aid,
+ Falls undistinguished by the victor Spade!
+
+ Thus far both armies to Belinda yield;
+ Now to the Baron fate inclines the field.
+ His warlike Amazon her host invades,
+ Th’ imperial consort of the crown of Spades.
+ The Club’s black tyrant first her victim died,
+ Spite of his haughty mien, and barbarous pride;
+ What boots the regal circle on his head,
+ His giant limbs, in state unwieldy spread;
+ That long behind he trails his pompous robe,
+ And, of all monarchs, only grasps the globe?
+
+ The Baron now his Diamonds pours apace;
+ The embroidered King who shows but half his face,
+ And his refulgent Queen, with powers combined
+ Of broken troops an easy conquest find.
+ Clubs, Diamonds, Hearts, in wild disorder seen,
+ With throngs promiscuous strow the level green.
+ Thus when dispersed a routed army runs,
+ Of Asia’s troops, and Afric’s sable sons,
+ With like confusion different nations fly,
+ Of various habit, and of various dye,
+ The pierced battalions disunited fall,
+ In heaps on heaps; one fate o’erwhelms them all.
+
+ The Knave of Diamonds tries his wily arts,
+ And wins (oh shameful chance!) the Queen of Hearts.
+ At this, the blood the virgin’s cheek forsook,
+ A livid paleness spreads o’er all her look;
+ She sees, and trembles at th’ approaching ill,
+ Just in the jaws of ruin, and codille.
+ And now (as oft in some distempered State)
+ On one nice trick depends the general fate.
+ An Ace of Hearts steps forth: the King unseen
+ Lurked in her hand, and mourned his captive Queen:
+ He springs to vengeance with an eager pace,
+ And falls like thunder on the prostrate Ace.
+ The nymph exulting fills with shouts the sky;
+ The walls, the woods, and long canals reply.
+
+ Oh thoughtless mortals, ever blind to fate,
+ Too soon dejected, and too soon elate!
+ Sudden, these honours shall be snatched away,
+ And cursed for ever this victorious day.
+
+ For lo, the board with cups and spoons is crowned,
+ The berries crackle, and the mill turns round;
+ On shining altars of Japan they raise
+ The silver lamp; the fiery spirits blaze:
+ From silver spouts the grateful liquors glide,
+ While China’s earth receives the smoking tide:
+ At once they gratify their scent and taste,
+ And frequent cups prolong the rich repast.
+ Straight hover round the Fair her airy band;
+ Some, as she sipped, the fuming liquor fanned,
+ Some o’er her lap their careful plumes displayed,
+ Trembling, and conscious of the rich brocade.
+ Coffee (which makes the politician wise,
+ And see through all things with his half-shut eyes)
+ Sent up in vapours to the Baron’s brain
+ New stratagems the radiant Lock to gain.
+ Ah cease, rash youth! desist ere ’tis too late,
+ Fear the just Gods, and think of Scylla’s fate!
+ Changed to a bird, and sent to flit in air,
+ She dearly pays for Nisus’ injured hair!
+
+ But when to mischief mortals bend their will,
+ How soon they find fit instruments of ill!
+ Just then, Clarissa drew with tempting grace
+ A two-edged weapon from her shining case:
+ So ladies in romance assist their knight,
+ Present the spear, and arm him for the fight.
+ He takes the gift with reverence, and extends
+ The little engine on his fingers’ ends;
+ This just behind Belinda’s neck he spread,
+ As o’er the fragrant steams she bends her head.
+ Swift to the lock a thousand sprites repair,
+ A thousand wings, by turns, blow back the hair;
+ And thrice they twitched the diamond in her ear;
+ Thrice she looked back, and thrice the foe drew near.
+ Just in that instant, anxious Ariel sought
+ The close recesses of the virgin’s thought;
+ As on the nosegay in her breast reclined,
+ He watched the ideas rising in her mind,
+ Sudden he viewed, in spite of all her art,
+ An earthly lover lurking at her heart.
+ Amazed, confused, he found his power expired,
+ Resigned to fate, and with a sigh retired.
+
+ The peer now spreads the glittering forfex wide,
+ To inclose the lock; now joins it, to divide.
+ Even then, before the fatal engine closed,
+ A wretched sylph too fondly interposed;
+ Fate urged the shears, and cut the sylph in twain
+ (But airy substance soon unites again),
+ The meeting points the sacred hair dissever
+ From the fair head, for ever, and for ever!
+
+ Then flashed the living lightning from her eyes,
+ And screams of horror rend the affrighted skies.
+ Not louder shrieks to pitying heaven are cast,
+ When husbands or when lapdogs breathe their last;
+ Or when rich china vessels fallen from high,
+ In glittering dust and painted fragments lie!
+
+ “Let wreaths of triumph now my temples twine,”
+ The victor cried, “the glorious prize is mine!”
+ While fish in streams, or birds delight in air,
+ Or in a coach-and-six the British fair,
+ As long as Atalantis shall be read, {129}
+ Or the small pillow grace a lady’s bed,
+ While visits shall be paid on solemn days,
+ When numerous wax-lights in bright order blaze,
+ While nymphs take treats, or assignations give,
+ So long my honour, name, and praise shall live!
+ What time would spare, from steel receives its date,
+ And monuments, like men, submit to fate!
+ Steel could the labour of the gods destroy,
+ And strike to dust th’ imperial towers of Troy;
+ Steel could the works of mortal pride confound,
+ And hew triumphal arches to the ground.
+ What wonder then, fair nymph! thy hairs should feel
+ The conquering force of unresisting steel?
+
+
+
+CANTO IV.
+
+
+ BUT anxious cares the pensive nymph oppressed,
+ And secret passions laboured in her breast.
+ Not youthful kings in battle seized alive,
+ Not scornful virgins who their charms survive,
+ Not ardent lovers robbed of all their bliss,
+ Not ancient ladies when refused a kiss,
+ Not tyrants fierce that unrepenting die,
+ Not Cynthia when her manteau’s pinned awry,
+ E’er felt such rage, resentment, and despair,
+ As thou, sad virgin! for thy ravished hair.
+
+ For that sad moment when the sylphs withdrew.
+ And Ariel weeping from Belinda flew,
+ Umbriel, a dusky, melancholy sprite,
+ As ever sullied the fair face of light,
+ Down to the central earth, his proper scene,
+ Repaired to search the gloomy cave of Spleen.
+
+ Swift on his sooty pinions flits the gnome,
+ And in a vapour reached the dismal dome.
+ No cheerful breeze this sullen region knows,
+ The dreaded east is all the wind that blows.
+ Here in a grotto, sheltered close from air,
+ And screened in shades from day’s detested glare,
+ She sighs for ever on her pensive bed,
+ Pain at her side, and Megrim {130} at her head.
+
+ Two handmaids wait the throne: alike in place,
+ But differing far in figure and in face.
+ Here stood Ill-nature like an ancient maid,
+ Her wrinkled form in black and white arrayed;
+ With store of prayers, for mornings, nights, and noons,
+ Her hand is filled; her bosom with lampoons.
+
+ There Affectation, with a sickly mien,
+ Shows in her cheek the roses of eighteen,
+ Practised to lisp, and hang the head aside,
+ Faints into airs, and languishes with pride,
+ On the rich quilt sinks with becoming woe,
+ Wrapped in a gown, for sickness, and for show.
+ The fair ones feel such maladies as these,
+ When each new night-dress gives a new disease.
+ A constant vapour o’er the palace flies;
+ Strange phantoms rising as the mists arise;
+ Dreadful as hermit’s dreams in haunted shades,
+ Or bright as visions of expiring maids.
+ Now glaring fiends, and snakes on rolling spires,
+ Pale spectres, gaping tombs, and purple fires:
+ Now lakes of liquid gold, Elysian scenes,
+ And crystal domes and angels in machines.
+
+ Unnumbered throngs on every side are seen,
+ Of bodies changed to various forms by Spleen.
+ Here living tea-pots stand, one arm held out,
+ One bent; the handle this, and that the spout:
+ A pipkin there, like Homer’s tripod walks;
+ Here sighs a jar, and there a goose-pie talks;
+ Men prove with child, as powerful fancy works,
+ And maids turned bottles call aloud for corks.
+
+ Safe past the Gnome, through this fantastic band,
+ A branch of healing spleenwort in his hand.
+ Then thus addressed the power: “Hail, wayward Queen!
+ Who rule the sex to fifty from fifteen:
+ Parent of vapours and of female wit,
+ Who give the hysteric, or poetic fit,
+ On various tempers act by various ways,
+ Make some take physic, others scribble plays;
+ Who cause the proud their visits to delay,
+ And send the godly in a pet to pray.
+ A nymph there is, that all thy power disdains,
+ And thousands more in equal mirth maintains.
+ But oh! if e’er thy gnome could spoil a grace,
+ Or raise a pimple on a beauteous face,
+ Like citron-waters matrons’ cheeks inflame,
+ Or change complexions at a losing game;
+ If e’er with airy horns I planted heads,
+ Or rumpled petticoats, or tumbled beds,
+ Or caused suspicion when no soul was rude,
+ Or discomposed the head-dress of a prude,
+ Or e’er to costive lapdog gave disease,
+ Which not the tears of brightest eyes could ease:
+ Hear me, and touch Belinda with chagrin,
+ That single act gives half the world the spleen.”
+
+ The Goddess with a discontented air
+ Seems to reject him, though she grants his prayer.
+ A wondrous bag with both her hands she binds,
+ Like that where once Ulysses held the winds;
+ There she collects the force of female lungs,
+ Sighs, sobs, and passions, and the war of tongues.
+ A vial next she fills with fainting fears,
+ Soft sorrows, melting griefs, and flowing tears.
+ The gnome rejoicing bears her gifts away,
+ Spreads his black wings, and slowly mounts to day.
+
+ Sunk in Thalestris’ arms the nymph he found,
+ Her eyes dejected and her hair unbound.
+ Full o’er their heads the swelling bag he rent,
+ And all the Furies issued at the vent.
+ Belinda burns with more than mortal ire,
+ And fierce Thalestris fans the rising fire.
+ “O wretched maid!” she spread her hands, and cried,
+ (While Hampton’s echoes, “Wretched maid!” replied)
+ “Was it for this you took such constant care
+ The bodkin, comb, and essence to prepare?
+ For this your locks in paper durance bound,
+ For this with torturing irons wreathed around?
+ For this with fillets strained your tender head,
+ And bravely bore the double loads of lead?
+ Gods! shall the ravisher display your hair,
+ While the fops envy, and the ladies stare!
+ Honour forbid! at whose unrivalled shrine
+ Ease, pleasure, virtue, all our sex resign.
+ Methinks already I your tears survey,
+ Already hear the horrid things they say,
+ Already see you a degraded toast,
+ And all your honour in a whisper lost!
+ How shall I, then, your helpless fame defend?
+ ’Twill then be infamy to seem your friend!
+ And shall this prize, the inestimable prize,
+ Exposed through crystal to the gazing eyes,
+ And heightened by the diamond’s circling rays,
+ On that rapacious hand for ever blaze?
+ Sooner shall grass in Hyde Park Circus grow,
+ And wits take lodgings in the sound of Bow;
+ Sooner let earth, air, sea, to chaos fall,
+ Men, monkeys, lap-dogs, parrots, perish all!”
+
+ She said; then raging to Sir Plume repairs,
+ And bids her beau demand the precious hairs:
+ (Sir Plume of amber snuff-box justly vain,
+ And the nice conduct of a clouded cane)
+ With earnest eyes, and round unthinking face,
+ He first the snuff-box opened, then the case,
+ And thus broke out—“My Lord, why what the devil?
+ Zounds! damn the lock! ’fore Gad, you must be civil!
+ Plague on’t! ’tis past a jest—nay prithee, pox!
+ Give her the hair”—he spoke, and rapped his box.
+
+ “It grieves me much” (replied the Peer again)
+ “Who speaks so well should ever speak in vain.
+ But by this lock, this sacred lock, I swear,
+ (Which never more shall join its parted hair;
+ Which never more its honours shall renew,
+ Clipped from the lovely head where late it grew)
+ That while my nostrils draw the vital air,
+ This hand, which won it, shall for ever wear.”
+ He spoke, and speaking, in proud triumph spread
+ The long-contended honours of her head.
+
+ But Umbriel, hateful gnome! forbears not so;
+ He breaks the vial whence the sorrows flow.
+ Then see! the nymph in beauteous grief appears,
+ Her eyes half-languishing, half-drowned in tears;
+ On her heaved bosom hung her drooping head,
+ Which, with a sigh, she raised; and thus she said:
+
+ “For ever cursed be this detested day,
+ Which snatched my best, my favourite curl away!
+ Happy! ah, ten times happy had I been,
+ If Hampton Court these eyes had never seen!
+ Yet am not I the first mistaken maid,
+ By love of courts to numerous ills betrayed.
+ Oh had I rather unadmired remained
+ In some lone isle, or distant Northern land,
+ Where the gilt chariot never marks the way,
+ Where none learn ombre, none e’er taste Bohea;
+ There kept my charms concealed from mortal eye,
+ Like roses that in deserts bloom and die!
+ What moved my mind with youthful lords to roam?
+ Oh had I stayed, and said my prayers at home!
+ ’Twas this, the morning omens seemed to tell,
+ Thrice from my trembling hand the patch-box fell;
+ The tottering china shook without a wind,
+ Nay, Poll sat mute, and Shock was most unkind!
+ A sylph, too, warned me of the threats of fate,
+ In mystic visions, now believed too late!
+ See the poor remnants of these slighted hairs!
+ My hands shall rend what even thy rapine spares:
+ These in two sable ringlets taught to break,
+ Once gave new beauties to the snowy neck;
+ The sister-lock now sits uncouth, alone,
+ And in its fellow’s fate foresees its own;
+ Uncurled it hangs, the fatal shears demands,
+ And tempts once more thy sacrilegious hands.
+ Oh hadst thou, cruel! been content to seize
+ Hairs less in sight, or any hairs but these!”
+
+
+
+CANTO V.
+
+
+ SHE said: the pitying audience melt in tears.
+ But Fate and Jove had stopped the Baron’s ears.
+ In vain Thalestris with reproach assails,
+ For who can move when fair Belinda fails?
+ Not half so fixed the Trojan could remain,
+ While Anna begged and Dido raged in vain.
+ Then grave Clarissa graceful waved her fan;
+ Silence ensued, and thus the nymph began:
+
+ “Say why are beauties praised and honoured most,
+ The wise man’s passion, and the vain man’s toast?
+ Why decked with all that land and sea afford,
+ Why angels called, and angel-like adored?
+ Why round our coaches crowd the white-gloved beaux,
+ Why bows the side-box from its inmost rows;
+ How vain are all these glories, all our pains,
+ Unless good sense preserve what beauty gains:
+ That men may say, when we the front-box grace:
+ ‘Behold the first in virtue as in face!’
+ Oh! if to dance all night, and dress all day,
+ Charmed the smallpox, or chased old age away,
+ Who would not scorn what housewife’s cares produce,
+ Or who would learn one earthly thing of use?
+ To patch, nay ogle, might become a saint,
+ Nor could it sure be such a sin to paint.
+ But since, alas! frail beauty must decay;
+ Curled or uncurled, since locks will turn to grey;
+ Since painted, or not painted, all shall fade,
+ And she who scorns a man, must die a maid;
+ What then remains but well our power to use,
+ And keep good-humour still whate’er we lose?
+ And trust me, dear! good-humour can prevail,
+ When airs, and flights, and screams, and scolding fail.
+ Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll;
+ Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.”
+
+ So spoke the dame, but no applause ensued;
+ Belinda frowned, Thalestris called her Prude.
+ “To arms, to arms!” the fierce virago cries,
+ And swift as lightning to the combat flies.
+ All side in parties, and begin the attack;
+ Fans clap, silks rustle, and tough whalebones crack;
+ Heroes’ and heroines’ shouts confusedly rise,
+ And bass and treble voices strike the skies.
+ No common weapons in their hands are found,
+ Like gods they fight, nor dread a mortal wound.
+
+ So when bold Homer makes the gods engage,
+ And heavenly breasts with human passions rage;
+ ’Gainst Pallas, Mars; Latona, Hermes arms;
+ And all Olympus rings with loud alarms:
+ Jove’s thunder roars, heaven trembles all around,
+ Blue Neptune storms, the bellowing deeps resound,
+ Earth shakes her nodding towers, the ground gives way,
+ And the pale ghosts start at the flash of day!
+
+ Triumphant Umbriel on a sconce’s height
+ Clapped his glad wings, and sate to view the fight;
+ Propped on their bodkin spears, the sprites survey
+ The growing combat, or assist the fray.
+
+ While through the press enraged Thalestris flies,
+ And scatters death around from both her eyes,
+ A beau and witling perished in the throng,
+ One died in metaphor, and one in song.
+
+ “O cruel nymph! a living death I bear,”
+ Cried Dapperwit, and sunk beside his chair.
+ A mournful glance Sir Fopling upwards cast,
+ “Those eyes are made so killing”—was his last.
+ Thus on Mæander’s flowery margin lies
+ The expiring swan, and as he sings he dies.
+
+ When bold Sir Plume had drawn Clarissa down,
+ Chloe stepped in, and killed him with a frown;
+ She smiled to see the doughty hero slain,
+ But, at her smile, the beau revived again.
+
+ Now Jove suspends his golden scales in air,
+ Weighs the men’s wits against the ladies’ hair;
+ The doubtful beam long nods from side to side;
+ At length the wits mount up, the hairs subside.
+
+ See, fierce Belinda on the Baron flies,
+ With more than usual lightning in her eyes:
+ Nor feared the chief the unequal fight to try,
+ Who sought no more than on his foe to die.
+ But this bold lord with manly strength endued,
+ She with one finger and a thumb subdued:
+ Just where the breath of life his nostrils drew,
+ A charge of snuff the wily virgin threw;
+ The gnomes direct, to every atom just,
+ The pungent grains of titillating dust.
+ Sudden, with starting tears each eye o’erflows,
+ And the high dome re-echoes to his nose.
+
+ “Now meet thy fate,” incensed Belinda cried,
+ And drew a deadly bodkin from her side.
+ (The same, his ancient personage to deck,
+ Her great-great-grandsire wore about his neck,
+ In three seal-rings; which after, melted down,
+ Formed a vast buckle for his widow’s gown;
+ Her infant grandame’s whistle next it grew,
+ The bells she jingled, and the whistle blew;
+ Then in a bodkin graced her mother’s hairs,
+ Which long she wore, and now Belinda wears).
+
+ “Boast not my fall,” he cried, “insulting foe!
+ Thou by some other shalt be laid as low,
+ Nor think to die dejects my lofty mind:
+ All that I dread is leaving you behind!
+ Rather than so, ah! let me still survive,
+ And burn in Cupid’s flames—but burn alive.”
+
+ “Restore the lock!” she cries; and all around
+ “Restore the lock!” the vaulted roofs rebound.
+ Not fierce Othello in so loud a strain
+ Roared for the handkerchief that caused his pain.
+ But see how oft ambitious aims are crossed,
+ And chiefs contend till all the prize is lost!
+ The lock, obtained with guilt, and kept with pain,
+ In every place is sought, but sought in vain:
+ With such a prize no mortal must be blest,
+ So Heaven decrees: with Heaven who can contest?
+
+ Some thought it mounted to the lunar sphere,
+ Since all things lost on earth are treasured there,
+ There heroes’ wits are kept in ponderous vases,
+ And beaux’ in snuff-boxes and tweezer-cases.
+ There broken vows and death-bed alms are found,
+ And lovers’ hearts with ends of riband bound,
+ The courtiers promises, and sick man’s prayers,
+ The smiles of harlots, and the tears of heirs,
+ Cages for gnats, and chains to yoke a flea,
+ Dried butterflies and tomes of casuistry.
+
+ But trust the Muse—she saw it upward rise,
+ Though marked by none but quick, poetic eyes:
+ (So Rome’s great founder to the heavens withdrew,
+ To Proculus alone confessed in view)
+ A sudden star, it shot through liquid air,
+ And drew behind a radiant trail of hair.
+ Not Berenice’s locks first rose so bright,
+ The heavens bespangling with dishevelled light.
+ The sylphs behold it kindling as it flies,
+ And pleased pursue its progress through the skies.
+
+ This the beau-monde shall from the Mall survey,
+ And hail with music its propitious ray.
+ This the blest lover shall for Venus take,
+ And send up vows from Rosamonda’s lake.
+ This Partridge {137} soon shall view in cloudless skies,
+ When next he looks through Galileo’s eyes;
+ And hence the egregious wizard shall foredoom
+ The fate of Louis, and the fall of Rome.
+
+ Then cease, bright nymph! to mourn thy ravished hair,
+ Which adds new glory to the shining sphere!
+ Not all the tresses that fair head can boast,
+ Shall draw such envy as the lock you lost.
+ For, after all the murders of your eye,
+ When, after millions slain, yourself shall die:
+ When those fair suns shall set, as set they must,
+ And all those tresses shall be laid in dust,
+ This lock the Muse shall consecrate to fame,
+ And ’midst the stars inscribe Belinda’s name.
+
+
+
+
+THE DIVERTING HISTORY
+OF
+JOHN GILPIN:
+
+
+ SHOWING HOW HE WENT FARTHER THAN HE INTENDED AND CAME SAFE HOME AGAIN.
+
+ BY WILLIAM COWPER.
+
+ JOHN GILPIN was a citizen
+ Of credit and renown,
+ A train-band captain eke was he
+ Of famous London town.
+
+ John Gilpin’s spouse said to her dear,
+ “Though wedded we have been
+ These twice ten tedious years, yet we
+ No holiday have seen.
+
+ “To-morrow is our wedding-day,
+ And we will then repair
+ Unto the Bell at Edmonton,
+ All in a chaise and pair.
+
+ “My sister, and my sister’s child,
+ Myself, and children three,
+ Will fill the chaise; so you must ride
+ On horseback after we.”
+
+ He soon replied, “I do admire
+ Of womankind but one,
+ And you are she, my dearest dear,
+ Therefore it shall be done.
+
+ “I am a linen-draper bold,
+ As all the world doth know,
+ And my good friend the calender
+ Will lend his horse to go.”
+
+ Quoth Mrs. Gilpin, “That’s well said:
+ And for that wine is dear,
+ We will be furnished with our own,
+ Which is both bright and clear.”
+
+ John Gilpin kissed his loving wife;
+ O’erjoyed was he to find,
+ That though on pleasure she was bent,
+ She had a frugal mind.
+
+ The morning came, the chaise was brought,
+ But yet was not allowed
+ To drive up to the door, lest all
+ Should say that she was proud.
+
+ So three doors off the chaise was stayed,
+ Where they did all get in;
+ Six precious souls, and all agog
+ To dash through thick and thin.
+
+ Smack went the whip, round went the wheels,
+ Were never folk so glad,
+ The stones did rattle underneath,
+ As if Cheapside were mad.
+
+ John Gilpin at his horse’s side
+ Seized fast the flowing mane,
+ And up he got, in haste to ride,
+ But soon came down again;
+
+ For saddle-tree scarce reached had he,
+ His journey to begin,
+ When, turning round his head, he saw
+ Three customers come in.
+
+ So down he came; for loss of time,
+ Although it grieved him sore,
+ Yet loss of pence, full well he knew,
+ Would trouble him much more.
+
+ ’Twas long before the customers
+ Were suited to their mind,
+ When Betty screaming came downstairs,
+ “The wine is left behind!”
+
+ “Good lack!” quoth he—“yet bring it me,
+ My leathern belt likewise,
+ In which I bear my trusty sword,
+ When I do exercise.”
+
+ Now Mistress Gilpin (careful soul!)
+ Had two stone bottles found,
+ To hold the liquor that she loved,
+ And keep it safe and sound.
+
+ Each bottle had a curling ear,
+ Through which the belt he drew,
+ And hung a bottle on each side,
+ To make his balance true.
+
+ Then over all, that he might be
+ Equipped from top to toe,
+ His long red cloak, well brushed and neat,
+ He manfully did throw.
+
+ Now see him mounted once again
+ Upon his nimble steed,
+ Full slowly pacing o’er the stones,
+ With caution and good heed.
+
+ But finding soon a smoother road
+ Beneath his well-shod feet,
+ The snorting beast began to trot,
+ Which galled him in his seat.
+
+ So, “Fair and softly,” John he cried,
+ But John he cried in vain;
+ That trot became a gallop soon,
+ In spite of curb and rein.
+
+ So stooping down, as needs he must
+ Who cannot sit upright,
+ He grasped the mane with both his hands,
+ And eke with all his might.
+
+ His horse, who never in that sort
+ Had handled been before,
+ What thing upon his back had got
+ Did wonder more and more.
+
+ Away went Gilpin, neck or nought;
+ Away went hat and wig;
+ He little dreamt, when he set out,
+ Of running such a rig.
+
+ The wind did blow, the cloak did fly,
+ Like streamer long and gay,
+ Till, loop and button failing both,
+ At last it flew away.
+
+ Then might all people well discern
+ The bottles he had slung;
+ A bottle swinging at each side,
+ As hath been said or sung.
+
+ The dogs did bark, the children screamed,
+ Up flew the windows all;
+ And every soul cried out, “Well done!”
+ As loud as he could bawl.
+
+ Away went Gilpin—who but he?
+ His fame soon spread around;
+ “He carries weight!” “He rides a race!”
+ “’Tis for a thousand pound!”
+
+ And still, as fast as he drew near,
+ ’Twas wonderful to view,
+ How in a trice the turnpike-men
+ Their gates wide open threw.
+
+ And now, as he went bowing down
+ His reeking head full low,
+ The bottles twain behind his back
+ Were shattered at a blow.
+
+ Down ran the wine into the road,
+ Most piteous to be seen,
+ Which made his horse’s flanks to smoke
+ As they had basted been.
+
+ But still be seemed to carry weight,
+ With leathern girdle braced;
+ For all might see the bottle-necks
+ Still dangling at his waist.
+
+ Thus all through merry Islington
+ These gambols he did play,
+ Until he came unto the Wash
+ Of Edmonton so gay;
+
+ And there he threw the Wash about
+ On both sides of the way,
+ Just like unto a trundling mop,
+ Or a wild goose at play.
+
+ At Edmonton his loving wife
+ From the balcóny spied
+ Her tender husband, wondering much
+ To see how he did ride.
+
+ “Stop, stop, John Gilpin!—Here’s the house!”
+ They all at once did cry;
+ “The dinner waits, and we are tired;”
+ Said Gilpin—“So am I!”
+
+ But yet his horse was not a whit
+ Inclined to tarry there!
+ For why?—his owner had a house
+ Full ten miles off, at Ware.
+
+ So like an arrow swift he flew,
+ Shot by an archer strong;
+ So did he fly—which brings me to
+ The middle of my song.
+
+ Away went Gilpin, out of breath,
+ And sore against his will,
+ Till at his friend the calender’s
+ His horse at last stood still.
+
+ The calender, amazed to see
+ His neighbour in such trim,
+ Laid down his pipe, flew to the gate,
+ And thus accosted him:
+
+ “What news? what news? your tidings tell!
+ Tell me you must and shall—
+ Say why bareheaded you are come,
+ Or why you come at all?”
+
+ Now Gilpin had a pleasant wit,
+ And loved a timely joke;
+ And thus unto the calender
+ In merry guise he spoke:
+
+ “I came because your horse would come,
+ And, if I well forbode,
+ My hat and wig will soon be here—
+ They are upon the road.”
+
+ The calender, right glad to find
+ His friend in merry pin,
+ Returned him not a single word,
+ But to the house went in;
+
+ Whence straight he came with hat and wig;
+ A wig that flowed behind,
+ A hat not much the worse for wear,
+ Each comely in its kind.
+
+ He held them up, and in his turn
+ Thus showed his ready wit,
+ “My head is twice as big as yours,
+ They therefore needs must fit.
+
+ “But let me scrape the dirt away
+ That hangs upon your face;
+ And stop and eat, for well you may
+ Be in a hungry case.”
+
+ Said John, “It is my wedding-day,
+ And all the world would stare,
+ If wife should dine at Edmonton,
+ And I should dine at Ware.”
+
+ So turning to his horse, he said,
+ “I am in haste to dine;
+ ’Twas for your pleasure you came here,
+ You shall go back for mine.”
+
+ Ah, luckless speech, and bootless boast!
+ For which he paid full dear;
+ For, while he spake, a braying ass
+ Did sing most loud and clear;
+
+ Whereat his horse did snort, as he
+ Had heard a lion roar,
+ And galloped off with all his might,
+ As he had done before.
+
+ Away went Gilpin, and away
+ Went Gilpin’s hat and wig:
+ He lost them sooner than at first;
+ For why?—they were too big.
+
+ Now Mistress Gilpin, when she saw
+ Her husband posting down
+ Into the country far away,
+ She pulled out half-a-crown;
+
+ And thus unto the youth she said
+ That drove them to the Bell,
+ “This shall be yours, when you bring back
+ My husband safe and well.”
+
+ The youth did ride, and soon did meet
+ John coming back amain:
+ Whom in a trice he tried to stop,
+ By catching at his rein;
+
+ But not performing what he meant,
+ And gladly would have done,
+ The frighted steed he frighted more
+ And made him faster run.
+
+ Away went Gilpin, and away
+ Went postboy at his heels,
+ The postboy’s horse right glad to miss
+ The lumbering of the wheels.
+
+ Six gentlemen upon the road,
+ Thus seeing Gilpin fly,
+ With postboy scampering in the rear,
+ They raised the hue and cry:
+
+ “Stop thief! stop thief!—a highwayman!”
+ Not one of them was mute;
+ And all and each that passed that way
+ Did join in the pursuit.
+
+ And now the turnpike gates again
+ Flew open in short space;
+ The toll-men thinking, as before,
+ That Gilpin rode a race.
+
+ And so he did, and won it too,
+ For he got first to town;
+ Nor stopped till where he had got up
+ He did again get down.
+
+ Now let us sing, Long live the king!
+ And Gilpin, long live he!
+ And when he next doth ride abroad
+ May I be there to see!
+
+
+
+
+
+ TAM O’SHANTER:
+ A TALE.
+
+
+ BY ROBERT BURNS.
+
+ “_Of brownyis and of bogilis full is this buke_.”
+
+ —GAWIN DOUGLAS.
+
+ WHEN chapman billies {147a} leave the street,
+ And drouthy {147b} neibors neibors meet,
+ As market days are wearin’ late,
+ And folk begin to tak the gate; {147h}
+ While we sit bousing at the nappy,
+ And gettin’ fou and unco’ {147c} happy,
+ We think na on the lang Scots miles,
+ The mosses, waters, slaps, {147d} and stiles,
+ That lie between us and our hame,
+ Whare sits our sulky sullen dame,
+ Gathering her brows like gathering storm,
+ Nursing her wrath to keep it warm.
+
+ This truth fand honest Tam o’ Shanter,
+ As he frae Ayr ae night did canter,
+ (Auld Ayr, wham ne’er a town surpasses
+ For honest men and bonny lasses.)
+
+ O Tam! hadst thou but been sae wise
+ As ta’en thy ain wife Kate’s advice!
+ She tauld thee weel thou wast a skellum, {147e}
+ A blethering, blustering, drunken blellum; {147f}
+ That frae November till October,
+ Ae market day thou wasna sober;
+ That ilka {147g} melder, {147i} wi’ the miller
+ Thou sat as lang as thou hadst siller;
+ That every naig was ca’d a shoe on,
+ The smith and thee gat roaring fou on;
+ That at the Lord’s house, even on Sunday,
+ Thou drank wi’ Kirkton {148f} Jean till Monday.
+ She prophesied that, late or soon,
+ Thou wouldst be found deep drowned in Doon!
+ Or catched wi’ warlocks i’ the mirk, {148a}
+ By Alloway’s auld haunted kirk.
+
+ Ah, gentle dames! it gars {148b} me greet
+ To think how mony counsels sweet,
+ How mony lengthened, sage advices,
+ The husband frae the wife despises!
+
+ But to our tale:—Ae market night,
+ Tam had got planted unco right.
+ Fast by an ingle, {148c} bleezing finely,
+ Wi’ reaming swats, {148d} that drank divinely;
+ And at his elbow, Souter Johnny,
+ His ancient, trusty, drouthy crony;
+ Tam lo’ed him like a vera brither—
+ They had been fou for weeks thegither!
+ The night drave on wi’ sangs and clatter,
+ And aye the ale was growing better:
+ The landlady and Tam grew gracious,
+ Wi’ favours secret, sweet, and precious;
+ The Souter tauld his queerest stories,
+ The landlord’s laugh was ready chorus:
+ The storm without might rair and rustle—
+ Tam didna mind the storm a whistle.
+
+ Care, mad to see a man sae happy,
+ E’en drowned himsel among the nappy! {148e}
+ As bees flee hame wi’ lades o’ treasure,
+ The minutes winged their way wi’ pleasure:
+ Kings may be blest, but Tam was glorious,
+ O’er a’ the ills o’ life victorious!
+
+ But pleasures are like poppies spread,
+ You seize the flower, its bloom is shed!
+ Or like the snowfall in the river,
+ A moment white—then melts for ever;
+ Or like the borealis race,
+ That flit ere you can point their place;
+ Or like the rainbow’s lovely form,
+ Evanishing amid the storm.
+ Nae man can tether time or tide;
+ The hour approaches, Tam maun ride;
+ That hour, o’ night’s black arch the keystane,
+ That dreary hour he mounts his beast in;
+ And sic a night he taks the road in
+ As never poor sinner was abroad in.
+
+ The wind blew as ’twad blown its last;
+ The rattling showers rose on the blast;
+ The speedy gleams the darkness swallowed;
+ Loud, deep, and lang the thunder bellowed:
+ That night, a child might understand
+ The deil had business on his hand.
+
+ Weel mounted on his grey mare, Meg,
+ A better never lifted leg,
+ Tam skelpit {149a} on through dub and mire,
+ Despising wind, and rain, and fire;
+ Whiles holding fast his guid blue bonnet,
+ Whiles crooning o’er some auld Scots sonnet;
+ Whiles glowering round wi’ prudent cares,
+ Lest bogles catch him unawares:
+ Kirk-Alloway was drawing nigh,
+ Whare ghaists and houlets nightly cry.
+ By this time he was ’cross the foord,
+ Whare in the snow the chapman smoored, {149b}
+ And past the birks and meikle stane
+ Whare drunken Charlie brak’s neck-bane:
+ And through the whins, and by the cairn
+ Whare hunters fand the murdered bairn;
+ And near the thorn, aboon the well,
+ Where Mungo’s mither hanged hersel’.
+ Before him Doon pours a’ his floods;
+ The doubling storm roars through the woods;
+ The lightnings flash frae pole to pole;
+ Near and more near the thunders roll;
+ When glimmering through the groaning trees,
+ Kirk-Alloway seemed in a bleeze;
+ Through ilka {150h} bore the beams were glancing,
+ And loud resounded mirth and dancing.
+
+ Inspiring bold John Barleycorn!
+ What dangers thou canst mak us scorn!
+ Wi’ tippenny, we fear nae evil:
+ Wi’ usquebae, we’ll face the devil!—
+ The swats sae reamed in Tammie’s noddle,
+ Fair play, he cared na deils a boddle. {150a}
+ But Maggie stood right sair astonished,
+ Till, by the heel and hand admonished,
+ She ventured forward on the light;
+ And, wow! Tam saw an unco sight!
+ Warlocks and witches in a dance;
+ Nae cotillon brent-new frae France,
+ But hornpipes, jigs, strathspeys, and reels,
+ Put life and mettle i’ their heels:
+ At winnock-bunker, {150b} i’ the east,
+ There sat auld Nick, in shape o’ beast,
+ A towzie tyke, {150c} black, grim, and large,
+ To gie them music was his charge;
+ He screwed the pipes, and gart them skirl, {150d}
+ Till roof and rafters a’ did dirl. {150e}
+ Coffins stood round, like open presses,
+ That shaw’d the dead in their last dresses;
+ And by some devilish cantrip slight {150f}
+ Each in its cauld hand held a light,—
+ By which heroic Tam was able
+ To note upon the haly table,
+ A murderer’s banes in gibbet airns;
+ Twa span-lang, wee, unchristened bairns;
+ A thief, new-cutted frae a rape,
+ Wi’ his last gasp his gab {150g} did gape;
+ Five tomahawks, wi’ bluid red-rusted:
+ Five scimitars, wi’ murder crusted;
+ A garter, which a babe had strangled;
+ A knife, a father’s throat had mangled,
+ Whom his ain son o’ life bereft,
+ The grey hairs yet stack to the heft:
+ Wi’ mair o’ horrible and awfu’,
+ Which even to name wad be unlawfu’.
+
+ As Tammie glowered, amazed and curious,
+ The mirth and fun grew fast and furious:
+ The piper loud and louder blew,
+ The dancers quick and quicker flew;
+ They reeled, they set, they crossed, they cleekit,
+ Till ilka carlin swat and reekit,
+ And coost her duddies {151a} to the wark,
+ And linket {151h} at it in her sark. {151b}
+
+ Now Tam! O Tam! had they been queans,
+ A’ plump and strappin’ in their teens,
+ Their sarks, instead o’ creeshie flannen, {151c}
+ Been snaw-white seventeen hunder linnen!
+ Thir breeks o’ mine, my only pair,
+ That ance were plush, o’ guid blue hair,
+ I wad hae gien them aff my hurdies,
+ For ae blink o’ the bonny burdies!
+
+ But withered beldams, auld and droll,
+ Rigwoodie {151d} hags, wad spean {151j} a foal,
+ Lowpin’ and flingin’ on a cummock, {151e}
+ I wonder didna turn thy stomach.
+
+ But Tam kenned what was what fu’ brawlie,
+ “There was ae winsome wench and walie,” {151i}
+ That night enlisted in the core,
+ (Lang after kenned on Carrick shore;
+ For mony a beast to dead she shot,
+ And perished mony a bonny boat,
+ And shook baith meikle corn and bere,
+ And kept the country-side in fear.)
+ Her cutty sark, {151f} o’ Paisley harn,
+ That, while a lassie, she had worn,
+ In longitude though sorely scanty,
+ It was her best, and she was vauntie.
+
+ Ah! little kenn’d thy reverend grannie,
+ That sark she coft {151g} for her wee Nannie,
+ Wi’ twa pund Scots (’twas a’ her riches),
+ Wad ever graced a dance o’ witches!
+ But here my Muse her wing maun cour,
+ Sic flights are far beyond her power;
+ To sing how Nannie lap and flang,
+ (A souple jade she was, and strang,)
+ And how Tam stood like ane bewitched,
+ And thought his very een enriched;
+ Even Satan glowered, and fidged fu’ fain,
+ And hotch’d {152a} and blew wi’ might and main:
+ Till first ae caper, syne anither,
+ Tam tint {152b} his reason a’thegither,
+ And roars out, “Weel done, Cutty-sark!”
+ And in an instant a’ was dark:
+ And scarcely had he Maggie rallied,
+ When out the hellish legion sallied.
+ As bees bizz out wi’ angry fyke, {152c}
+ When plundering herds assail their byke; {152d}
+ As open pussie’s mortal foes,
+ When, pop! she starts before their nose;
+ As eager runs the market-crowd,
+ When “Catch the thief!” resounds aloud;
+ So Maggie runs, the witches follow,
+ Wi’ mony an eldritch {152e} screech and hollow.
+
+ Ah, Tam! ah, Tam! thou’lt get thy fairin’!
+ In hell they’ll roast thee like a herrin’!
+ In vain thy Kate awaits thy comin’!
+ Kate soon will be a woefu’ woman!
+ Now, do thy speedy utmost, Meg,
+ And win the keystane of the brig;
+ There at them thou thy tail may toss,
+ A running stream they darena cross;
+ But ere the keystane she could make,
+ The fient a tail she had to shake!
+ For Nannie, far before the rest,
+ Hard upon noble Maggie prest,
+ And flew at Tam wi’ furious ettle; {152f}
+ But little wist she Maggie’s mettle—
+ Ae spring brought off her master hale,
+ But left behind her ain grey tail:
+ The carlin claught her by the rump,
+ And left poor Maggie scarce a stump.
+
+ Now, wha this tale o’ truth shall read,
+ Ilk man and mother’s son, take heed:
+ Whane’er to drink you are inclined,
+ Or cutty-sarks run in your mind,
+ Think! ye may buy the joys owre dear—
+ Remember Tam o’ Shanter’s mare.
+
+
+
+
+The Demon Ship.
+
+
+ BY THOMAS HOOD.
+
+ ’TWAS off the Wash the sun went down—the sea looked black and grim,
+ For stormy clouds with murky fleece were mustering at the brim;
+ Titanic shades! enormous gloom!—as if the solid night
+ Of Erebus rose suddenly to seize upon the light!
+ It was a time for mariners to bear a wary eye,
+ With such a dark conspiracy between the sea and sky!
+
+ Down went my helm—close reefed—the tack held freely in my hand—
+ With ballast snug—I put about, and scudded for the land;
+ Loud hissed the sea beneath her lee—my little boat flew fast,
+ But faster still the rushing storm came borne upon the blast.
+
+ Lord! what a roaring hurricane beset the straining sail!
+ What furious sleet, with level drift, and fierce assaults of hail!
+ What darksome caverns yawned before! what jagged steeps behind!
+ Like battle-steeds, with foamy manes, wild tossing in the wind,
+ Each after each sank down astern, exhausted in the chase,
+ But where it sank another rose and galloped in its place;
+ As black as night—they turned to white, and cast against the cloud
+ A snowy sheet, as if each surge upturned a sailor’s shroud:—
+ Still flew my boat; alas! alas! her course was nearly run!
+ Behold yon fatal billow rise—ten billows heaped in one!
+ With fearful speed the dreary mass came rolling, rolling fast,
+ As if the scooping sea contained one only wave at last;
+ Still on it came, with horrid roar, a swift pursuing grave;
+ It seemed as though some cloud had turned its hugeness to a wave!
+ Its briny sleet began to beat beforehand in my face—
+ I felt the rearward keel begin to climb its swelling base!
+ I saw its alpine hoary head impending over mine!
+ Another pulse—and down it rushed—an avalanche of brine!
+ Brief pause had I on God to cry, or think of wife and home;
+ The waters closed—and when I shrieked, I shrieked below the foam!
+ Beyond that rush I have no hint of any after-deed—
+ For I was tossing on the waste, as senseless as a weed.
+
+ . . . . .
+
+ “Where am I? in the breathing world, or in the world of death?”
+ With sharp and sudden pang I drew another birth of breath;
+ My eyes drank in a doubtful light, my ears a doubtful sound—
+ And was that ship a _real_ ship whose tackle seemed around?
+ A moon, as if the earthly moon, was shining up aloft;
+ But were those beams the very beams that I have seen so oft?
+ A face that mocked the human face, before me watched alone;
+ But were those eyes the eyes of man that looked against my own?
+
+ Oh! never may the moon again disclose me such a sight
+ As met my gaze, when first I looked, on that accursed night!
+ I’ve seen a thousand horrid shapes begot of fierce extremes
+ Of fever; and most frightful things have haunted in my dreams—
+ Hyenas—cats—blood-loving bats—and apes with hateful stare—
+ Pernicious snakes, and shaggy bulls—the lion, and she-bear—
+ Strong enemies, with Judas looks, of treachery and spite—
+ Detested features, hardly dimmed and banished by the light!
+ Pale-sheeted ghosts, with gory locks, upstarting from their tombs—
+ All phantasies and images that flit in midnight glooms—
+ Hags, goblins, demons, lemures, have made me all aghast,—
+ But nothing like that GRIMLY ONE who stood beside the mast!
+
+ His cheek was black—his brow was black—his eyes and hair as dark;
+ His hand was black, and where it touched, it left a sable mark;
+ His throat was black, his vest the same, and when I looked beneath,
+ His breast was black—all, all was black, except his grinning teeth,
+ His sooty crew were like in hue, as black as Afric slaves!
+ Oh, horror! e’en the ship was black that ploughed the inky waves!
+ “Alas!” I cried, “for love of truth and blessed mercy’s sake,
+ Where am I? in what dreadful ship? upon what dreadful lake?
+ What shape is that, so very grim, and black as any coal?
+ It is Mahound, the Evil One, and he has gained my soul!
+ Oh, mother dear! my tender nurse: dear meadows that beguiled
+ My happy days, when I was yet a little sinless child—
+ My mother dear—my native fields I never more shall see:
+ I’m sailing in the Devil’s Ship, upon the Devil’s Sea!”
+
+ Loud laughed that SABLE MARINER, and loudly in return
+ His sooty crew sent forth a laugh that rang from stem to stern—
+ A dozen pair of grimly cheeks were crumpled on the nonce—
+ As many sets of grinning teeth came shining out at once:
+ A dozen gloomy shapes at once enjoyed the merry fit,
+ With shriek and yell, and oaths as well, like Demons of the Pit.
+ They crowed their fill, and then the Chief made answer for the whole:—
+ “Our skins,” said he, “are black, ye see, because we carry coal;
+ You’ll find your mother sure enough, and see your native fields—
+ For this here ship has picked you up—the _Mary Ann_ of Shields!”
+
+
+
+
+A Tale of a Trumpet.
+
+
+ BY THOMAS HOOD.
+
+ “Old woman, old woman, will you go a-shearing?
+ Speak a little louder, for I’m very hard of hearing.”
+
+ —_Old Ballad_.
+
+ OF all old women hard of hearing,
+ The deafest sure was Dame Eleanor Spearing!
+ On her head, it is true,
+ Two flaps there grew,
+ That served for a pair of gold rings to go through,
+ But for any purpose of ears in a parley,
+ They heard no more than ears of barley.
+
+ No hint was needed from D. E. F.,
+ You saw in her face that the woman was deaf:
+ From her twisted mouth to her eyes so peery,
+ Each queer feature asked a query;
+ A look that said in a silent way,
+ “Who? and What? and How? and Eh?
+ I’d give my ears to know what you say!”
+
+ And well she might! for each auricular
+ Was deaf as a post—and that post in particular
+ That stands at the corner of Dyott Street now,
+ And never hears a word of a row!
+ Ears that might serve her now and then
+ As extempore racks for an idle pen;
+ Or to hang with hoops from jewellers’ shops;
+ With coral; ruby, or garnet drops;
+ Or, provided the owner so inclined,
+ Ears to stick a blister behind;
+ But as for hearing wisdom, or wit,
+ Falsehood, or folly, or tell-tale-tit,
+ Or politics, whether of Fox or Pitt,
+ Sermon, lecture, or musical bit,
+ Harp, piano, fiddle, or kit,
+ They might as well, for any such wish,
+ Have been buttered, done brown, and laid in a dish!
+
+ She was deaf as a post,—as said before—
+ And as deaf as twenty similes more,
+ Including the adder, that deafest of snakes,
+ Which never hears the coil it makes.
+
+ She was deaf as a house—which modern tricks
+ Of language would call as deaf as bricks—
+ For her all human kind were dumb,
+ Her drum, indeed, was so muffled a drum,
+ That none could get a sound to come,
+ Unless the Devil, who had Two Sticks!
+ She was as deaf as a stone—say one of the stones
+ Demosthenes sucked to improve his tones;
+ And surely deafness no further could reach
+ Than to be in his mouth without hearing his speech!
+
+ She was deaf as a nut—for nuts, no doubt,
+ Are deaf to the grub that’s hollowing out—
+ As deaf, alas! as the dead and forgotten—
+ (Gray has noticed the waste of breath,
+ In addressing the “dull, cold ear of death”),
+ Or the felon’s ear that is stuffed with cotton—
+ Or Charles the First _in statue quo_;
+ Or the still-born figures of Madame Tussaud,
+ With their eyes of glass, and their hair of flax,
+ That only stare whatever you “ax,”
+ For their ears, you know, are nothing but wax.
+
+ She was deaf as the ducks that swam in the pond,
+ And wouldn’t listen to Mrs. Bond,—
+ As deaf as any Frenchman appears,
+ When he puts his shoulders into his ears:
+ And—whatever the citizen tells his son—
+ As deaf as Gog and Magog at one!
+ Or, still to be a simile-seeker,
+ As deaf as dogs’-ears to Enfield’s Speaker!
+
+ She was deaf as any tradesman’s dummy,
+ Or as Pharaoh’s mother’s mother’s mummy;
+ Whose organs, for fear of modern sceptics,
+ Were plugged with gums and antiseptics.
+
+ She was deaf as a nail—that you cannot hammer
+ A meaning into for all your clamour—
+ There never _was_ such a deaf old Gammer!
+ So formed to worry
+ Both Lindley and Murray,
+ By having no ear for Music or Grammar!
+
+ Deaf to sounds, as a ship out of soundings,
+ Deaf to verbs, and all their compoundings,
+ Adjective, noun, and adverb, and particle,
+ Deaf to even the definite article—
+ No verbal message was worth a pin,
+ Though you hired an earwig to carry it in!
+
+ In short, she was twice as deaf as Deaf Burke,
+ Or all the Deafness in Yearsley’s work,
+ Who in spite of his skill in hardness of hearing,
+ Boring, blasting, and pioneering,
+ To give the dunny organ a clearing,
+ Could never have cured Dame Eleanor Spearing.
+
+ Of course the loss was a great privation,
+ For one of her sex—whatever her station—
+ And none the less that the dame had a turn
+ For making all families one concern,
+ And learning whatever there was to learn
+ In the prattling, tattling village of Tringham—
+ As, who wore silk? and who wore gingham?
+ And what the Atkins’s shop might bring ’em?
+ How the Smiths contrived to live? and whether
+ The fourteen Murphys all pigged together?
+ The wages per week of the Weavers and Skinners,
+ And what they boiled for their Sunday dinners?
+ What plates the Bugsbys had on the shelf,
+ Crockery, china, wooden, or delf?
+ And if the parlour of Mrs. O’Grady
+ Had a wicked French print, or Death and the Lady?
+ Did Snip and his wife continue to jangle?
+ Had Mrs. Wilkinson sold her mangle?
+ What liquor was drunk by Jones and Brown?
+ And the weekly score they ran up at the Crown?
+ If the cobbler could read, and believed in the Pope?
+ And how the Grubbs were off for soap?
+ If the Snobbs had furnished their room upstairs,
+ And how they managed for tables and chairs,
+ Beds, and other household affairs,
+ Iron, wooden, and Staffordshire wares?
+ And if they could muster a whole pair of bellows?
+ In fact she had much of the spirit that lies
+ Perdu in a notable set of Paul Prys,
+ By courtesy called Statistical Fellows—
+ A prying, spying, inquisitive clan,
+ Who have gone upon much of the self-same plan,
+ Jotting the labouring class’s riches;
+ And after poking in pot and pan,
+ And routing garments in want of stitches,
+ Have ascertained that a working man
+ Wears a pair and a quarter of average breeches!
+
+ But this, alas! from her loss of hearing,
+ Was all a sealed book to Dame Eleanor Spearing;
+ And often her tears would rise to their founts—
+ Supposing a little scandal at play
+ ’Twixt Mrs. O’Fie and Mrs. Au Fait—
+ That she couldn’t audit the gossips’ accounts.
+ ’Tis true, to her cottage still they came,
+ And ate her muffins just the same,
+ And drank the tea of the widowed dame,
+ And never swallowed a thimble the less
+ Of something the reader is left to guess,
+ For all the deafness of Mrs. S.
+ Who _saw_ them talk, and chuckle, and cough,
+ But to _see_ and not share in the social flow,
+ She might as well have lived, you know,
+ In one of the houses in Owen’s Row,
+ Near the New River Head, with its water cut off!
+ And yet the almond oil she had tried,
+ And fifty infallible things beside,
+ Hot, and cold, and thick, and thin,
+ Dabbed, and dribbled, and squirted in:
+ But all remedies failed; and though some it was clear,
+ Like the brandy and salt
+ We now exalt,
+ Had made a noise in the public ear,
+ She was just as deaf as ever, poor dear!
+
+ At last—one very fine day in June—
+ Suppose her sitting,
+ Busily knitting,
+ And humming she didn’t quite know what tune;
+ For nothing she heard but a sort of whizz,
+ Which, unless the sound of circulation,
+ Or of thoughts in the process of fabrication,
+ By a spinning-jennyish operation,
+ It’s hard to say what buzzing it is.
+ However, except that ghost of a sound,
+ She sat in a silence most profound—
+ The cat was purring about the mat,
+ But her mistress heard no more of that
+ Than if it had been a boatswain’s cat;
+ And as for the clock the moments nicking,
+ The dame only gave it credit for ticking.
+ The bark of her dog she did not catch;
+ Nor yet the click of the lifted latch;
+ Nor yet the creak of the opening door;
+ Nor yet the fall of a foot on the floor—
+ But she saw the shadow that crept on her gown
+ And turned its skirt of a darker brown.
+
+ And lo! a man! a Pedlar! ay, marry,
+ With the little back-shop that such tradesmen carry,
+ Stocked with brooches, ribbons, and rings,
+ Spectacles, razors, and other odd things
+ For lad and lass, as Autolycus sings;
+ A chapman for goodness and cheapness of ware,
+ Held a fair dealer enough at a fair,
+ But deemed a piratical sort of invader
+ By him we dub the “regular trader,”
+ Who—luring the passengers in as they pass
+ By lamps, gay panels, and mouldings of brass,
+ And windows with only one huge pane of glass,
+ And his name in gilt characters, German or Roman—
+ If he isn’t a Pedlar, at least he’s a Showman!
+
+ However, in the stranger came,
+ And, the moment he met the eyes of the Dame,
+ Threw her as knowing a nod as though
+ He had known her fifty long years ago:
+ And presto! before she could utter “Jack”—
+ Much less “Robinson”—opened his pack—
+ And then from amongst his portable gear,
+ With even more than a Pedlar’s tact,—
+ (Slick himself might have envied the act)—
+ Before she had time to be deaf, in fact—
+ Popped a Trumpet into her ear.
+ “There, Ma’am! try it!
+ You needn’t buy it—
+ The last New Patent, and nothing comes nigh it
+ For affording the deaf, at a little expense,
+ The sense of hearing, and hearing of sense!
+ A Real Blessing—and no mistake,
+ Invented for poor Humanity’s sake:
+ For what can be a greater privation
+ Than playing Dumby to all creation,
+ And only looking at conversation—
+ Great philosophers talking like Platos,
+ And Members of Parliament moral as Catos,
+ And your ears as dull as waxy potatoes!
+ Not to name the mischievous quizzers,
+ Sharp as knives, but double as scissors,
+ Who get you to answer quite by guess
+ Yes for No, and No for Yes.”
+ (“That’s very true,” says Dame Eleanor S.)
+
+ “Try it again! No harm in trying—
+ I’m sure you’ll find it worth your buying.
+ A little practice—that is all—
+ And you’ll hear a whisper, however small,
+ Through an Act of Parliament party-wall,—
+ Every syllable clear as day,
+ And even what people are going to say—
+ I wouldn’t tell a lie, I wouldn’t,
+ But my Trumpets have heard what Solomon’s couldn’t;
+ And as for Scott he promises fine,
+ But can he warrant his horns like mine,
+ Never to hear what a lady shouldn’t—
+ Only a guinea—and can’t take less.”
+ (“That’s very dear,” said Dame Eleanor S.)
+
+ “Dear!—Oh dear, to call it dear!
+ Why, it isn’t a horn you buy, but an ear;
+ Only think, and you’ll find on reflection
+ You’re bargaining, ma’am, for the Voice of Affection;
+ For the language of Wisdom, and Virtue, and Truth,
+ And the sweet little innocent prattle of Youth:
+ Not to mention the striking of clocks—
+ Cackle of hens—crowing of cocks—
+ Lowing of cow, and bull, and ox—
+ Bleating of pretty pastoral flocks—
+ Murmur of waterfall over the rocks—
+ Every sound that Echo mocks—
+ Vocals, fiddles, and musical-box—
+ And zounds! to call such a concert dear!
+ But I mustn’t ‘swear with my horn in your ear.’
+ Why, in buying that Trumpet you buy all those
+ That Harper, or any Trumpeter, blows
+ At the Queen’s Levees or the Lord Mayor’s Shows,
+ At least as far as the music goes,
+ Including the wonderful lively sound,
+ Of the Guards’ key-bugles all the year round;
+ Come—suppose we call it a pound!
+ Come,” said the talkative Man of the Pack,
+ “Before I put my box on my back,
+ For this elegant, useful Conductor of Sound,
+ Come, suppose we call it a pound!
+
+ “Only a pound: it’s only the price
+ Of hearing a concert once or twice,
+ It’s only the fee
+ You might give Mr. C.
+ And after all not hear his advice,
+ But common prudence would bid you stump it;
+ For, not to enlarge,
+ It’s the regular charge
+ At a Fancy Fair for a penny trumpet.
+ Lord! what’s a pound to the blessing of hearing!”
+ (“A pound’s a pound,” said Dame Eleanor Spearing.)
+
+ “Try it again! no harm in trying!
+ A pound’s a pound, there’s no denying;
+ But think what thousands and thousands of pounds
+ We pay for nothing but hearing sounds:
+ Sounds of Equity, Justice, and Law,
+ Parliamentary jabber and jaw,
+ Pious cant, and moral saw,
+ Hocus-pocus, and Nong-tong-paw,
+ And empty sounds not worth a straw;
+ Why, it costs a guinea, as I’m a sinner,
+ To hear the sounds at a public dinner!
+ One pound one thrown into the puddle,
+ To listen to Fiddle, Faddle, and Fuddle!
+ Not to forget the sounds we buy
+ From those who sell their sounds so high,
+ That, unless the managers pitch it strong,
+ To get a signora to warble a song,
+ You must fork out the blunt with a haymaker’s prong!
+
+ “It’s not the thing for me—I know it,
+ To crack my own trumpet up and blow it;
+ But it is the best, and time will show it.
+ There was Mrs. F.
+ So very deaf,
+ That she might have worn a percussion cap,
+ And been knocked on the head without hearing it snap,
+ Well, I sold her a horn, and the very next day
+ She heard from her husband at Botany Bay!
+ Come—eighteen shillings—that’s very low,
+ You’ll save the money as shillings go,
+ And I never knew so bad a lot,
+ By hearing whether they ring or not!
+
+ “Eighteen shillings! it’s worth the price,
+ Supposing you’re delicate-minded and nice,
+ To have the medical man of your choice,
+ Instead of the one with the strongest voice—
+ Who comes and asks you, how’s your liver,
+ And where you ache, and whether you shiver,
+ And as to your nerves, so apt to quiver,
+ As if he was hailing a boat on the river!
+ And then, with a shout, like Pat in a riot,
+ Tells you to keep yourself perfectly quiet!
+
+ “Or a tradesman comes—as tradesmen will—
+ Short and crusty about his bill;
+ Of patience, indeed, a perfect scorner,
+ And because you’re deaf and unable to pay,
+ Shouts whatever he has to say,
+ In a vulgar voice, that goes over the way,
+ Down the street and round the corner!
+ Come—speak your mind—it’s ‘No’ or ‘Yes.’”
+ (“I’ve half a mind,” said Dame Eleanor S.)
+
+ “Try it again—no harm in trying,
+ Of course you hear me, as easy as lying;
+ No pain at all, like a surgical trick,
+ To make you squall, and struggle, and kick,
+ Like Juno, or Rose,
+ Whose ear undergoes
+ Such horrid tugs at membrane and gristle,
+ For being as deaf as yourself to a whistle!
+
+ “You may go to surgical chaps if you choose,
+ Who will blow up your tubes like copper flues,
+ Or cut your tonsils right away,
+ As you’d shell out your almonds for Christmas Day;
+ And after all a matter of doubt,
+ Whether you ever would hear the shout
+ Of the little blackguards that bawl about,
+ ‘There you go with your tonsils out!’
+ Why I knew a deaf Welshman, who came from Glamorgan
+ On purpose to try a surgical spell,
+ And paid a guinea, and might as well
+ Have called a monkey into his organ!
+ For the Aurist only took a mug,
+ And poured in his ear some acoustical drug,
+ That, instead of curing, deafened him rather,
+ As Hamlet’s uncle served Hamlet’s father!
+ That’s the way with your surgical gentry!
+ And happy your luck
+ If you don’t get stuck
+ Through your liver and lights at a royal entry,
+ Because you never answered the sentry!
+
+ “Try it again, dear madam, try it!
+ Many would sell their beds to buy it.
+ I warrant you often wake up in the night,
+ Ready to shake to a jelly with fright,
+ And up you must get to strike a light,
+ And down you go, in you know what,
+ Whether the weather is chilly or hot,—
+ That’s the way a cold is got,—
+ To see if you heard a noise or not.
+
+ “Why, bless you, a woman with organs like yours
+ Is hardly safe to step out of doors!
+ Just fancy a horse that comes full pelt,
+ But as quiet as if he was shod with felt,
+ Till he rushes against you with all his force,
+ And then I needn’t describe of course,
+ While he kicks you about without remorse,
+ How awkward it is to be groomed by a horse!
+ Or a bullock comes, as mad as King Lear,
+ And you never dream that the brute is near,
+ Till he pokes his horn right into your ear,
+ Whether you like the thing or lump it,—
+ And all for want of buying a trumpet!
+
+ “I’m not a female to fret and vex,
+ But if I belonged to the sensitive sex,
+ Exposed to all sorts of indelicate sounds,
+ I wouldn’t be deaf for a thousand pounds.
+ Lord! only think of chucking a copper
+ To Jack or Bob with a timber limb,
+ Who looks as if he was singing a hymn,
+ Instead of a song that’s very improper!
+ Or just suppose in a public place
+ You see a great fellow a-pulling a face,
+ With his staring eyes and his mouth like an O,—
+ And how is a poor deaf lady to know,—
+ The lower orders are up to such games—
+ If he’s calling ‘Green Peas,’ or calling her names?”
+ (“They’re tenpence a peck!” said the deafest of dames.)
+
+ “’Tis strange what very strong advising,
+ By word of mouth, or advertising,
+ By chalking on wall, or placarding on vans,
+ With fifty other different plans,
+ The very high pressure, in fact, of pressing,
+ It needs to persuade one to purchase a blessing!
+ Whether the soothing American Syrup,
+ A Safety Hat, or a Safety Stirrup,—
+ Infallible Pills for the human frame,
+ Or Rowland’s O-don’t-O (an ominous name)!
+ A Doudney’s suit which the shape so hits
+ That it beats all others into _fits_;
+ A Mechi’s razor for beards unshorn,
+ Or a Ghost-of-a-Whisper-Catching Horn!
+
+ “Try it again, ma’am, only try!”
+ Was still the voluble Pedlar’s cry;
+ “It’s a great privation, there’s no dispute,
+ To live like the dumb unsociable brute,
+ And to hear no more of the _pro_ and _con_,
+ And how Society’s going on,
+ Than Mumbo Jumbo or Prester John,
+ And all for want of this _sine quâ non_;
+ Whereas, with a horn that never offends,
+ You may join the genteelest party that is,
+ And enjoy all the scandal, and gossip, and quiz,
+ And be certain to hear of your absent friends;—
+ Not that elegant ladies, in fact,
+ In genteel society ever detract,
+ Or lend a brush when a friend is blacked,—
+ At least as a mere malicious act,—
+ But only talk scandal for fear some fool
+ Should think they were bred at _charity_ school.
+ Or, maybe, you like a little flirtation,
+ Which even the most Don Juanish rake
+ Would surely object to undertake
+ At the same high pitch as an altercation.
+ It’s not for me, of course, to judge
+ How much a deaf lady ought to begrudge;
+ But half-a-guinea seems no great matter—
+ Letting alone more rational patter—
+ Only to hear a parrot chatter:
+ Not to mention that feathered wit,
+ The starling, who speaks when his tongue is slit;
+ The pies and jays that utter words,
+ And other Dicky Gossips of birds,
+ That talk with as much good sense and decorum
+ As many _Beaks_ who belong to the Quorum.
+
+ “Try it—buy it—say ten and six,
+ The lowest price a miser could fix:
+ I don’t pretend with horns of mine,
+ Like some in the advertising line,
+ To ‘_magnify sounds_’ on such marvellous scales,
+ That the sounds of a cod seem as big as a whale’s;
+ But popular rumours, right or wrong,—
+ Charity sermons, short or long,—
+ Lecture, speech, concerto, or song,
+ All noises and voices, feeble or strong,
+ From the hum of a gnat to the clash of a gong,
+ This tube will deliver distinct and clear;
+ Or, supposing by chance
+ You wish to dance,
+ Why it’s putting a _Horn-pipe_ into your ear!
+ Try it—buy it!
+ Buy it—try it!
+ The last New Patent, and nothing comes nigh it,
+ For guiding sounds to their proper tunnel:
+ Only try till the end of June,
+ And if you and the trumpet are out of tune
+ I’ll turn it gratis into a funnel!”
+ In short, the pedlar so beset her,—
+ Lord Bacon couldn’t have gammoned her better,—
+ With flatteries plump and indirect,
+ And plied his tongue with such effect,—
+ A tongue that could almost have buttered a crumpet:
+ The deaf old woman bought the Trumpet.
+
+ . . . . .
+ . . . . .
+
+ The pedlar was gone. With the horn’s assistance,
+ She heard his steps die away in the distance;
+ And then she heard the tick of the clock,
+ The purring of puss, and the snoring of Shock;
+ And she purposely dropped a pin that was little,
+ And heard it fall as plain as a skittle!
+
+ ’Twas a wonderful horn, to be but just!
+ Nor meant to gather dust, must, and rust;
+ So in half a jiffy, or less than that,
+ In her scarlet cloak and her steeple-hat,
+ Like old Dame Trot, but without her cat,
+ The gossip was hunting all Tringham thorough,
+ As if she meant to canvass the borough,
+ Trumpet in hand, or up to the cavity;—
+ And, sure, had the horn been one of those
+ The wild rhinoceros wears on his nose,
+ It couldn’t have ripped up more depravity!
+
+ Depravity! mercy shield her ears!
+ ’Twas plain enough that her village peers
+ In the ways of vice were no raw beginners;
+ For whenever she raised the tube to her drum
+ Such sounds were transmitted as only come
+ From the very Brass Band of human sinners!
+ Ribald jest and blasphemous curse
+ (Bunyan never vented worse),
+ With all those weeds, not flowers, of speech
+ Which the Seven Dialecticians teach;
+ Filthy Conjunctions, and Dissolute Nouns,
+ And Particles picked from the kennels of towns,
+ With Irregular Verbs for irregular jobs,
+ Chiefly active in rows and mobs,
+ Picking Possessive Pronouns’ fobs,
+ And Interjections as bad as a blight,
+ Or an Eastern blast, to the blood and the sight:
+ Fanciful phrases for crime and sin,
+ And smacking of vulgar lips where Gin,
+ Garlic, Tobacco, and offals go in—
+ A jargon so truly adapted, in fact,
+ To each thievish, obscene, and ferocious act,
+ So fit for the brute with the human shape,
+ Savage Baboon, or libidinous Ape,
+ From their ugly mouths it will certainly come
+ Should they ever get weary of shamming dumb!
+
+ Alas! for the Voice of Virtue and Truth,
+ And the sweet little innocent prattle of Youth!
+ The smallest urchin whose tongue could tang,
+ Shocked the Dame with a volley of slang,
+ Fit for Fagin’s juvenile gang;
+ While the charity chap,
+ With his muffin cap,
+ His crimson coat, and his badge so garish,
+ Playing at dumps, or pitch in the hole,
+ Cursed his eyes, limbs, body and soul,
+ As if they did not belong to the Parish!
+
+ ’Twas awful to hear, as she went along,
+ The wicked words of the popular song;
+ Or supposing she listened—as gossips will—
+ At a door ajar, or a window agape,
+ To catch the sounds they allowed to escape.
+ Those sounds belonged to Depravity still!
+ The dark allusion, or bolder brag
+ Of the dexterous “dodge,” and the lots of “swag,”
+ The plundered house—or the stolen nag—
+ The blazing rick, or the darker crime,
+ That quenched the spark before its time—
+ The wanton speech of the wife immoral,
+ The noise of drunken or deadly quarrel,
+ With savage menace, which threatened the life,
+ Till the heart seemed merely a strop for the knife;
+ The human liver, no better than that
+ Which is sliced and thrown to an old woman’s cat;
+ And the head, so useful for shaking and nodding,
+ To be punched into holes, like a “shocking bad hat”
+ That is only fit to be punched into wadding!
+
+ In short, wherever she turned the horn,
+ To the highly bred, or the lowly born,
+ The working man, who looked over the hedge,
+ Or the mother nursing her infant pledge.
+ The sober Quaker, averse to quarrels,
+ Or the Governess pacing the village through,
+ With her twelve Young Ladies, two and two,
+ Looking, as such young ladies do,
+ Trussed by Decorum and stuffed with morals—
+ Whether she listened to Hob or Bob,
+ Nob or Snob,
+ The Squire on his cob,
+ Or Trudge and his ass at a tinkering job,
+ To the “Saint” who expounded at “Little Zion”—
+ Or the “Sinner” who kept the “Golden Lion”—
+ The man teetotally weaned from liquor—
+ The Beadle, the Clerk, or the Reverend Vicar—
+ Nay, the very Pie in its cage of wicker—
+ She gathered such meanings, double or single,
+ That like the bell,
+ With muffins to sell,
+ Her ear was kept in a constant tingle!
+
+ But this was nought to the tales of shame,
+ The constant runnings of evil fame,
+ Foul, and dirty, and black as ink,
+ That her ancient cronies, with nod and wink,
+ Poured in her horn like slops in a sink:
+ While sitting in conclave, as gossips do,
+ With their Hyson or Howqua, black or green,
+ And not a little of feline spleen,
+ Lapped up in “Catty packages,” too,
+ To give a zest to the sipping and supping;
+ For still by some invisible tether,
+ Scandal and Tea are linked together,
+ As surely as Scarification and Cupping;
+ Yet never since Scandal drank Bohea—
+ Or sloe, or whatever it happened to be,
+ For some grocerly thieves
+ Turn over new leaves,
+ Without much mending their lives or their tea—
+ No, never since cup was filled or stirred
+ Were such wild and horrible anecdotes heard,
+ As blackened their neighbours of either gender,
+ Especially that, which is called the Tender,
+ But instead of the softness we fancy therewith,
+ Was hardened in vice as the vice of a smith.
+
+ Women! the wretches! had soiled and marred
+ Whatever to womanly nature belongs;
+ For the marriage tie they had no regard,
+ Nay, sped their mates to the sexton’s yard,
+ (Like Madame Laffarge, who with poisonous pinches
+ Kept cutting off her L by inches)—
+ And as for drinking, they drank so hard
+ That they drank their flat-irons, pokers, and tongs!
+
+ The men—they fought and gambled at fairs;
+ And poached—and didn’t respect grey hairs—
+ Stole linen, money, plate, poultry, and corses;
+ And broke in houses as well as horses;
+ Unfolded folds to kill their own mutton,—
+ And would their own mothers and wives for a button:
+ But not to repeat the deeds they did,
+ Backsliding in spite of all moral skid,
+ If all were true that fell from the tongue,
+ There was not a villager, old or young,
+ But deserved to be whipped, imprisoned, or hung,
+ Or sent on those travels which nobody hurries,
+ To publish at Colburn’s, or Longmans’, or Murray’s.
+
+ Meanwhile the Trumpet, _con amore_,
+ Transmitted each vile diabolical story;
+ And gave the least whisper of slips and falls,
+ As that Gallery does in the Dome of St. Paul’s,
+ Which, as all the world knows, by practice or print,
+ Is famous for making the most of a hint.
+ Not a murmur of shame,
+ Or buzz of blame,
+ Not a flying report that flew at a name,
+ Not a plausible gloss, or significant note,
+ Not a word in the scandalous circles afloat,
+ Of a beam in the eye, or diminutive mote,
+ But vortex-like that tube of tin
+ Sucked the censorious particle in;
+ And, truth to tell, for as willing an organ
+ As ever listened to serpent’s hiss,
+ Nor took the viperous sound amiss,
+ On the snaky head of an ancient Gorgon!
+
+ The Dame, it is true, would mutter “shocking!”
+ And give her head a sorrowful rocking,
+ And make a clucking with palate and tongue,
+ Like the call of Partlet to gather her young,
+ A sound, when human, that always proclaims
+ At least a thousand pities and shames;
+ But still the darker the tale of sin,
+ Like certain folks, when calamities burst,
+ Who find a comfort in “hearing the worst,”
+ The farther she poked the Trumpet in.
+ Nay, worse, whatever she heard she spread
+ East and West, and North and South,
+ Like the ball which, according to Captain Z.,
+ Went in at his ear, and came out at his mouth.
+ What wonder between the Horn and the Dame,
+ Such mischief was made wherever they came,
+ That the parish of Tringham was all in a flame!
+
+ For although it required such loud discharges,
+ Such peals of thunder as rumbled at Lear,
+ To turn the smallest of table-beer,
+ A little whisper breathed into the ear
+ Will sour a temper “as sour as varges.”
+ In fact such very ill blood there grew,
+ From this private circulation of stories,
+ That the nearest neighbours the village through,
+ Looked at each other as yellow and blue,
+ As any electioneering crew
+ Wearing the colours of Whigs and Tories.
+ Ah! well the Poet said, in sooth,
+ That “whispering tongues can poison Truth,”—
+ Yes, like a dose of oxalic acid,
+ Wrench and convulse poor Peace, the placid,
+ And rack dear Love with internal fuel,
+ Like arsenic pastry, or what is as cruel,
+ Sugar of lead, that sweetens gruel,—
+ At least such torments began to wring ’em
+ From the very morn
+ When that mischievous Horn
+ Caught the whisper of tongues in Tringham.
+
+ The Social Clubs dissolved in huffs,
+ And the Sons of Harmony came to cuffs,
+ While feuds arose and family quarrels,
+ That discomposed the mechanics of morals,
+ For screws were loose between brother and brother,
+ While sisters fastened their nails on each other;
+ Such wrangles, and jangles, and miff, and tiff,
+ And spar, and jar—and breezes as stiff
+ As ever upset a friendship—or skiff!
+ The plighted lovers who used to walk,
+ Refused to meet, and declined to talk:
+ And wished for two moons to reflect the sun,
+ That they mightn’t look together on one:
+ While wedded affection ran so low,
+ That the oldest John Anderson snubbed his Jo—
+ And instead of the toddle adown the hill,
+ Hand in hand,
+ As the song has planned,
+ Scratched her, penniless, out of his will!
+ In short, to describe what came to pass
+ In a true, though somewhat theatrical way,
+ Instead of “Love in a Village”—alas!
+ The piece they performed was “The Devil to Pay!”
+
+ However, as secrets are brought to light,
+ And mischief comes home like chickens at night;
+ And rivers are tracked throughout their course,
+ And forgeries traced to their proper source;—
+ And the sow that ought
+ By the ear is caught,—
+ And the sin to the sinful door is brought;
+ And the cat at last escapes from the bag—
+ And the saddle is placed on the proper nag—
+ And the fog blows off, and the key is found—
+ And the faulty scent is picked out by the hound—
+ And the fact turns up like a worm from the ground—
+ And the matter gets wind to waft it about;
+ And a hint goes abroad, and the murder is out—
+ And a riddle is guessed—and the puzzle is known—
+ So the Truth was sniffed, and the Trumpet was blown!
+
+ . . . . .
+
+ ’Tis a day in November—a day of fog—
+ But the Tringham people are all agog!
+ Fathers, Mothers, and Mothers’ Sons,—
+ With sticks, and staves, and swords, and guns,—
+ As if in pursuit of a rabid dog;
+ But their voices—raised to the highest pitch—
+ Declare that the game is “a Witch!—a Witch!”
+
+ Over the Green and along by the George—
+ Past the Stocks and the Church, and the Forge,
+ And round the Pound, and skirting the Pond,
+ Till they come to the whitewashed cottage beyond,
+ And there at the door they muster and cluster,
+ And thump, and kick, and bellow, and bluster—
+ Enough to put Old Nick in a fluster!
+ A noise, indeed, so loud and long,
+ And mixed with expressions so very strong,
+ That supposing, according to popular fame,
+ “Wise Woman” and Witch to be the same,
+ No hag with a broom would unwisely stop,
+ But up and away through the chimney-top;
+ Whereas, the moment they burst the door,
+ Planted fast on her sanded floor,
+ With her trumpet up to her organ of hearing,
+ Lo and behold!—Dame Eleanor Spearing!
+
+ Oh! then rises the fearful shout—
+ Bawled and screamed, and bandied about—
+ “Seize her!—Drag the old Jezebel out!”
+ While the Beadle—the foremost of all the band,
+ Snatches the Horn from her trembling hand—
+ And after a pause of doubt and fear,
+ Puts it up to his sharpest ear.
+ “Now silence—silence—one and all!”
+ For the Clerk is quoting from Holy Paul!
+ But before he rehearses
+ A couple of verses,
+ The Beadle lets the Trumpet fall!
+ For instead of the words so pious and humble,
+ He hears a supernatural grumble.
+
+ Enough, enough! and more than enough;—
+ Twenty impatient hands and rough,
+ By arm and leg, and neck and scruff,
+ Apron, ’kerchief, gown of stuff—
+ Cap and pinner, sleeve and cuff—
+ Are clutching the Witch wherever they can,
+ With the spite of woman and fury of man;
+ And then—but first they kill her cat,
+ And murder her dog on the very mat—
+ And crush the infernal Trumpet flat;—
+ And then they hurry her through the door
+ She never, never will enter more!
+
+ Away! away! down the dusty lane
+ They pull her and haul her, with might and main;
+ And happy the hawbuck, Tom or Harry,
+ Dandy or Sandy, Jerry or Larry,
+ Who happens to get “a leg to carry!”
+ And happy the foot that can give her a kick,
+ And happy the hand that can find a brick—
+ And happy the fingers that hold a stick—
+ Knife to cut, or pin to prick—
+ And happy the boy who can lend her a lick;—
+ Nay, happy the urchin—Charity-bred,—
+ Who can shy very nigh to her wicked old head!
+
+ Alas! to think how people’s creeds
+ Are contradicted by people’s deeds!
+ But though the wishes that Witches utter
+ Can play the most diabolical rigs—
+ Send styes in the eye—and measle the pigs—
+ Grease horses’ heels—and spoil the butter;
+ Smut and mildew the corn on the stalk—
+ And turn new milk to water and chalk,—
+ Blight apples—and give the chickens the pip—
+ And cramp the stomach—and cripple the hip—
+ And waste the body—and addle the eggs—
+ And give a baby bandy legs;
+ Though in common belief a Witch’s curse
+ Involves all these horrible things and worse—
+ As ignorant bumpkins all profess,
+ No bumpkin makes a poke the less
+ At the back or ribs of old Eleanor S.!
+ As if she were only a sack of barley!
+ Or gives her credit for greater might
+ Than the Powers of Darkness confer at night
+ On that other old woman, the parish Charley!
+
+ Ay, now’s the time for a Witch to call
+ On her imps and sucklings one and all—
+ Newes, Pyewacket, or Peck in the Crown,
+ (As Matthew Hopkins has handed them down)
+ Dick, and Willet, and Sugar-and-Sack,
+ Greedy Grizel, Jarmara the Black,
+ Vinegar Tom, and the rest of the pack—
+ Ay, now’s the nick for her friend Old Harry
+ To come “with his tail,” like the bold Glengarry,
+ And drive her foes from their savage job
+ As a mad black bullock would scatter a mob:—
+ But no such matter is down in the bond;
+ And spite of her cries that never cease,
+ But scare the ducks and astonish the geese,
+ The dame is dragged to the fatal pond!
+
+ And now they come to the water’s brim—
+ And in they bundle her—sink or swim;
+ Though it’s twenty to one that the wretch must drown,
+ With twenty sticks to hold her down;
+ Including the help to the self-same end,
+ Which a travelling Pedlar stops to lend.
+ A Pedlar!—Yes!—The same!—the same!
+ Who sold the Horn to the drowning Dame!
+ And now is foremost amid the stir,
+ With a token only revealed to her;
+ A token that makes her shudder and shriek,
+ And point with her finger, and strive to speak—
+ But before she can utter the name of the Devil,
+ Her head is under the water level!
+
+ MORAL.
+
+ There are folks about town—to name no names—
+ Who much resemble the deafest of Dames!
+ And over their tea, and muffins, and crumpets,
+ Circulate many a scandalous word,
+ And whisper tales they could only have heard
+ Through some such Diabolical Trumpets!
+
+
+
+
+_NOTE_.
+THE GAME OF OMBRE
+
+
+was invented by the Spaniards, and called by them _El Hombre_, or THE
+MAN, _El Hombre_ being he (or she) who undertakes the game against the
+other players.
+
+There were variations in the way of playing, and there were sometimes
+four or even five players; but usually there were three players, as
+described by Pope in the third canto of _The Rape of the Lock_, where
+Belinda played as Ombre against the Baron and another, and the course of
+the game is faithfully described. It is the purpose of this note to
+enable any reader of _The Rape of the Lock_ to learn the game of Ombre,
+play it, and be able to follow Pope’s description of a game.
+
+The game of Ombre is played with a pack of cards from which the eights,
+nines, and tens of each of the four suits have been thrown out. The
+Ombre pack consists, therefore, of forty cards.
+
+The values of cards when they are not trumps are not arranged in the same
+order for each colour.
+
+For the two black suits, Spades and Clubs, the values, from highest to
+lowest, follow the natural order—King, Queen, Knave, seven, six, five,
+four, three, two. But the two black aces always rank as trumps, and are
+not reckoned as parts of the black suit. The Ace of Spades is named
+_Spadille_, the Ace of Clubs is _Basto_.
+
+For the two red suits, Hearts and Diamonds, only the King, Queen, and
+Knave keep their values in natural order; the other cards have their
+order of values reversed. The value from highest to lowest for each red
+suit is, therefore, King, Queen, Knave, ace, two, three, four, five, six,
+seven.
+
+The values of trump cards are thus arranged:—
+
+The first and best trump is the Ace of Spades, _Spadille_.
+
+The second best trump is the lowest card of the trump suit, the two of
+trumps in a black suit, or the seven of trumps if the trump suit be red.
+This second trump is called _Manille_.
+
+The third trump is the Ace of Clubs, _Basto_.
+
+When the trump suit is red, its Ace becomes the fourth trump. Thus if
+Diamonds be trumps the Ace of Diamonds can take the King of Diamonds; the
+Ace of Hearts can take the King of Hearts if Hearts be trumps, not
+otherwise. There is no addition to the value of the Ace of Diamonds when
+Hearts are trumps. The Ace of a red suit of trumps, having become in
+this way the fourth trump in order of value, is called _Punto_.
+
+In order of their value, counted from the highest to the lowest, I now
+place in parallel columns the trumps in black suits and the trumps in
+red:—
+
+ Black. Red.
+Spadille, Ace of Spades. Spadille, Ace of Spades.
+Manille, the Two of the Trump Manille, the Seven of the trump
+suit. suit.
+Basto, Ace of Clubs. Basto, Ace of Clubs.
+King. Punto, Ace of the trump suit.
+Queen. King.
+Knave. Queen.
+Seven. Knave.
+Six. Two.
+Five. Three.
+Four. Four.
+Three. Five.
+ Six.
+
+The three chief trumps, _Spadille_, _Manille_, and _Basto_, are called
+_Matadores_, and have powers which, together with their name, are passed
+to the trumps following them, so far as they are found in sequence in the
+Ombre’s hand. Thus, although _Spadille_, _Manille_, and _Basto_ are
+strictly speaking the only _Matadores_, if the Ombre can show also in his
+hand, say, in the red suit, Punto, King, Queen, Knave, he takes for seven
+_Matadores_; and if there should be joined to these the two and three,
+his trumps would be all in sequence, every card would be a _Matadore_,
+and he would be paid for nine, which is the whole number of cards in a
+hand.
+
+Counters having been distributed, among which a fish is worth ten round
+counters, each player lays down a fish before the deal. The cards having
+been shuffled by the dealer, and cut by the player who sits on the left
+hand of the dealer, are dealt three at a time, and first to the player
+who sits on the dealer’s right hand, which is contrary to the usual
+course. The cards are dealt three times round. Each of the three
+players then has nine, and the remaining thirteen cards are laid down at
+the right hand of the dealer. No card is turned up to determine trumps.
+
+Each player then looks at his hand. The eldest hand is that to the
+dealer’s right. He speaks first. If his cards are bad, and he will not
+venture to be Ombre, he says “Pass,” and lays a counter down at his left.
+If all three players say “Pass,” each laying a counter down, the cards
+are dealt again. When a player thinks his cards may win, and is willing
+to be Ombre, unless he be the third to speak, and the two other hands
+have passed, he says “Do you give me leave?” or “Do you play without
+taking in?” If the other players say “Pass,” each depositing his counter
+at his own left hand, the Ombre begins by discarding from his hand two,
+three, or more cards that he thinks unserviceable. He lays them down at
+his left hand. Then before he deals to himself from the pack of thirteen
+left undistributed the same number of cards that he has thrown out, he
+must name the trump suit. In doing this he chooses for himself,
+according to his hand, spades, clubs, hearts, diamonds, whichever suit he
+thinks will best help him to win. If he has a two of a black suit, or a
+seven of a red, he can secure to himself _Manille_ by making that suit
+trumps, or there may be reason why another suit should be preferred.
+
+If the player who proposes to be Ombre has a safe game in his hand—five
+_Matadores_, for example—he names the trump and elects to play
+_Sans-prendre_, that is to say, without discarding. Whoever plays
+_Sans-prendre_, if he win, receives three counters from each of the other
+players, and pays three counters to each if he should lose the game.
+
+When the Ombre plays _Sans-Prendre_, his opponents have more cards from
+which to draw, and the first who discards is even free to change all his
+nine cards; but he usually limits his discard to six or seven, and avoids
+encroachment on the share of the next player. The two who play against
+the Ombre are only half in the position of partners at whist, because one
+of them, when his hand is strong enough, can be the only winner.
+
+The hands having been thus settled, the game begins, from the hand on the
+right of the dealer. After a trick has been taken, the lead, as at other
+games, is with the winner of the trick, the order of play being still
+from left to right.
+
+As at whist, a suit led must be followed, and a player who cannot follow
+suit is not obliged to play a trump unless he please.
+
+If the first player who follows the Ombre’s lead with a better card, and
+has in his hand so good a game that he desires, by winning the trick, to
+obtain the lead, he declares that aloud by saying _Gano_, that is, “I
+win.” His partner then lets him win, if he can. Thus, Ombre has played
+a spade, which the next player wins with the Queen, saying _Gano_ when he
+does so. If the third player has the King in his hand he refrains from
+playing it, unless he have no spade in his hand of smaller value, in
+which case he is obliged to follow suit and win the trick against his
+partner. Where the lead is urgently desired, not for a personal gain of
+more tricks than the Ombre, which is called _Codille_, but to defend the
+stake, and the third player is seen to hesitate, _Gano_ may be pressed
+for, three times, “Gano, if possible.” When Ombre was played by gambling
+courtiers under Queen Anne and George I., all such words spoken in the
+game had to be given strictly in the Spanish form, which was, in this
+case, _Yo Gano_, _si se puede_.
+
+Ombre, to win the stake, must make five tricks; but he can win with four
+if the other five are so divided between his antagonists that one has
+only three of them, the other only two. If one of the two defenders of
+the stakes, playing against Ombre, does not feel almost sure that he can
+win at least three tricks, with a chance of the fourth, he should win
+one, and try to avoid winning more, but help whatever chance his partner
+seems to have of winning four, because Ombre wins with four when each of
+the other players has won less than four.
+
+If Ombre lose he is said to be Beasted. Whoever loses is said to be
+Beasted. Whoever is Beasted has to pay to the board counters of the
+value of what the Ombre takes up if he wins. When players were beasted
+for revokes and other oversights in play, the fines were heavy upon
+carelessness.
+
+At the end of the game tricks are counted. When Ombre wins he takes the
+stakes; when he loses the two opponents will divide the stakes between
+them, unless one of them should have taken more tricks than the Ombre, in
+which case that one is said to have won _Codille_. Whoever wins
+_Codille_ takes all the stake the Ombre played for. For this reason it
+was not thought creditable for any one to call _Gano_ who had four tricks
+in his hand, as by so doing he would only be inducing the other player
+against Ombre to give up to him his half of the winnings. Each player
+against the Ombre aims at _Codille_ when he thinks it within reach, but
+in that case it used to be held very bad manners to win by calling
+_Gano_. When one of the players against the Ombre must either give
+_Codille_ to the other or let the Ombre win, he gives the _Codille_. For
+if the Ombre be beasted he has to replace the stakes. But if the Ombre
+wins, both of the players against him have to stake again. If any one
+wins all the nine tricks he is said to have won the _Vole_, and clears
+all stakes upon the table.
+
+Belinda, in the _Rape of the Lock_, having looked at her hand, named
+trumps—
+
+ “‘Let spades be trumps,’ she said, and trumps they were.”
+
+She chose that suit because she had not only the King but also the two of
+Spades, and two of trumps, called _Manille_, is the second best trump
+after _Spadille_. Her hand contained also the Ace of Spades,
+“unconquerable lord” _Spadille_, and the third trump, _Basto_, Ace of
+Clubs. By making spades trumps she secured the addition of _Manille_.
+The three best trumps secured her the three best tricks. _Spadille_ and
+_Manille_ fetched small trumps out of the hands of her antagonists.
+_Basto_ brought a trump out of the Baron’s suit, that also held the Knave
+and Queen of trumps, and a small card from the other hand, which showed
+that it was out of trumps. Then came Belinda’s King of trumps, to win
+her fourth sure trick, and the Baron, who still had his best trumps in
+his hand, the Knave and Queen, lost the Knave to it.
+
+After this the Baron’s Queen of trumps was the best card, and Belinda,
+with no more trumps in her hand, or possibly the other player, sacrificed
+the King of Clubs to it.
+
+Trumps being exhausted, and the Baron having won a trick and the lead, it
+is his turn now to win three tricks in succession with the King, Queen,
+and Knave of Diamonds. At the third round of the Diamonds Belinda has
+left in her hand only the King and Queen of Hearts. She gives up the
+Queen.
+
+Each has now four tricks. It is the Baron’s lead. If his card be best
+he has more tricks than the Ombre, and will win _Codille_. If his card
+be a club or a diamond—spades are played out—Belinda’s King of Hearts
+will be unable to follow suit. He will be taken. Thus is she “between
+the jaws of ruin and codille.” But should his last card be a heart—she
+has the best heart—
+
+ “An Ace of Hearts steps forth: the King unseen
+ Lurked in her hand, and mourned his captive Queen.
+ He springs to vengeance with an eager pace,
+ And falls like thunder on the prostrate Ace.
+ The nymph exulting, fills with shouts the sky,
+ The walls, the woods, the long canals reply.”
+
+In addition to the stakes she won, Belinda was entitled also to the value
+of four counters from each of her antagonists for her sequence of four
+_Matadores_, _Spadille_, _Manille_, _Basto_, and the King of Spades.
+Furthermore, if she had been playing _Sans-prendre_, each of her
+opponents would have three counters to pay her.
+
+
+
+
+GLOSSARY
+
+
+{114} And, in old English could be placed like “also” in different parts
+of a sentence. Thus, in _Nymphidia_,
+
+ “She hies her then to Lethe spring,
+ A bottle and thereof doth bring.”
+
+{129} Atalantis, “As long as Atalantis shall be read.” Atalantis was a
+book of Court scandal by Mrs. De la Rivière Manley, in four volumes,
+entitled “Secret Memoirs and Manners of several Persons of Quality of
+both Sexes from the New Atalantis, an Island in the Mediterranean.” Mrs.
+Manley died in 1724.
+
+{94h} Bauzon, badger. French, _bausin_.
+
+{147a} Billies, fellows, used rather contemptuously.
+
+{147f} Blellum, idle talker.
+
+{150a} Boddle, a Scottish copper coin worth the third part of an English
+halfpenny; said to be named after the Mint-master who first coined it,
+Bothwell.
+
+{150h} Bore, hole in the wall.
+
+{91e} But, “without,” “but merriness,” without mirth.
+
+{152d} Byke, hive.
+
+{150f} Cantrip, charm, spell. Icelandic, _gandr_, enchantment;
+_gand-reithr_ was the witches’ ride.
+
+{83} Can’wick Street, Candlewick, where now there is Cannon Street.
+
+{86a} Champarty, Champartage, was a feudal levy of a share of profit
+from the ground (_campi pars_), based originally upon aid given to enable
+profit to be earned. Thus it became a law term for right of a stranger
+to fixed share in any profits that on such condition he helped a litigant
+to win.
+
+{85b} Chiche vache, lean cow. French _chiche_, Latin _ciccus_,
+wretched, worthless; from Greek kíkkos, the core of a pomegranate. Worth
+no more than a pomegranate seed.
+
+{94i} Cockers, rustic half-boots.
+
+{151g} Coft, bought. German, _kaufte_.
+
+{82b} Copen, buy. Dutch, _koopen_.
+
+{94j} Cordiwin, or cordewane, Cordovan leather.
+
+{89} Coueyn, coveyne convening or conspiring of two or more to defraud.
+
+{94f} Crank, lively. A boat was “crank” when frail, lightly and easily
+tossed on the waves, and liable to upset. Prof. Skeat thinks that the
+image of the tossed boat suggested lively movement.
+
+{151c} Creeshie flannen, greasy flannel.
+
+{151e} Cummock, a short staff with a crooked head.
+
+{151f} Cutty, short; so cutty pipe, short pipe.
+
+{85a} Darrain, decide. To “arraign” was to summon _ad rationes_ to the
+pleadings. To darraign was _derationare_, to bring them to a decision.
+
+{86b} Defy, digest. As in the Vision of Piers Plowman
+
+ “wyn of Ossye
+ Of Ruyn and of Rochel, the rost to defye.”
+
+Latin, _defio_ = _deficio_, to make one’s self to be removed from
+something, or something to be removed from one’s self. To defy in the
+sense of challenging is a word of different origin, _diffidere_, to
+separate from _fides_, faith, trust, allegiance to another.
+
+{91d} Degest, orderly. To “digest” is to separate and arrange in an
+orderly manner.
+
+{150e} Dirl, vibrate, echo.
+
+{147b} Drouthy, droughty, thirsty.
+
+{151a} Duddies, clothes.
+
+{152e} Eldritch, also elrische, alrische, alry, having relation to elves
+or evil spirits, supernatural, hideous, frightful.
+
+{152f} Ettle, endeavour, aim. Icelandic, _ætla_, to mean anything,
+design, have aim, is the Scottish _ettle_.
+
+{108d} Fire-drake, dragon breathing out fire.
+
+{91b} Flicht and wary, fluctuate and change.
+
+{92b} Frawfull fary, froward tumult.
+
+{152c} Fyke, fuss.
+
+{30} Fytte, a song, canto. First English, _fit_, a song.
+
+When Wisdom “_thas fitte asungen hæfde_” had sung this song. King
+Alfred’s Boëthius.
+
+{150g} Gab, mouth.
+
+{148b} Gars, makes; “gars me greet,” makes me weep.
+
+{147h} Gate, road. Icelandic, _gata_.
+
+{35} Habergeon, small hauberk, armour for the neck. Old High German,
+_hals_, the neck; _bergan_, to protect.
+
+{94d} Harlock, This plant-name occurs only here and in Shakespeare’s
+_Lear_, Act iv. sc. 4, where Lear is said to be crowned “with harlocks,
+hemlocks, nettles, cuckoo-flowers.” Probably it is charlock, _Sinapis
+arvensis_, the mustard-plant.
+
+{98} Hays, The hay was a French dance, with many turnings and windings.
+
+{100} Hient Hill, Ben Hiand, in Ardnamurchan, Argyleshire.
+
+{152a} Hotched, hitched.
+
+{147g} Ilka, each one, every.
+
+{85c} Infere, together.
+
+{148c} Ingle, fire. Gaelic, _aingeal_, allied to Latin _ignis_.
+
+{95b} Keep, “take thou no keep”—heed, “never mind.”
+
+{148f} Kirkton, familiar term for the village in which the country
+people had their church.
+
+{94k} Ladysmock, _Cardamine pratensis_.
+
+{93b} Leir, lore, doctrine.
+
+{94g} Learned his sheep, taught his sheep.
+
+{94a} Lemster, Leominster.
+
+{95a} Lingell, a shoemaker’s thong. Latin _lingula_.
+
+{151h} Linkit, tripped, moved briskly.
+
+{108c} Lubrican, the Irish leprechaun, a fairy in shape of an old man,
+discovered by the moan he makes. He brings wealth, and is fixed only as
+long as the finder keeps his eye upon him.
+
+{108b} Mandrake, the root of mandragora, rudely shaped like the forked
+animal man, and said to groan or shriek when pulled out of the earth.
+
+{93c} Marchpine, sweet biscuit of sugar and almonds. Marchpane paste
+was used by comfit-makers for shaping into letters, true-love knots,
+birds, beasts, etc.
+
+{130} Megrim, pain on one side of the head, headache. French
+_migraine_, from Gr. _eemikranía_.
+
+{147i} Melder, milling. The quantity of meal ground at once.
+
+{148a} Mirk, dark.
+
+{108a} Molewarp, mole. First English, _moldwearp_.
+
+{148e} Nappy, nap, strong beer.
+
+{126} Pam, Knave of Clubs, the highest card in the game of Loo, derived
+from “palm,” as “trump” from “triumph.”
+
+{137} Partridge, a maker of prophetic almanacs, who was ridiculed by
+Swift as type of his bad craft.
+
+{94b} Peakish hull, hill by the Peak of Derbyshire.
+
+{19} Pose, catarrh. First English, _gepósu_.
+
+ “By the pose in thy nose,
+ And the gout in thy toes.”
+
+ —_Beaumont and Fletcher_.
+
+{88b} Prow, profit. Old French, _prou_, _preu_—“_Oïl voir_, _sire_,
+_pour vostre preu i viens_.”—_Garin le Loharain_.
+
+{91a} Qu, Scottish = W. Quhair, where; quhois, whose; quheill, wheel;
+quha, quho, who; quhat, what.
+
+{82a} Ray, striped cloth.
+
+{151d} Rigwoodie, tough. Rigwiddie is the rope crossing the back of a
+horse yoked in a cart; _rig_, back, and _withy_, a twig. Applied to
+anything strong-backed.
+
+{82c} Rise, “cherries in the rise,” cherries on the twig. First English,
+_hris_, a twig, or thin branch. The old practice of selling cherries
+upon shoots cut from the tree ended in their sale by pennyworths with
+their stalks tied to a little stick of wood. So they were sold in London
+when I was a boy.
+
+{151b} Sark, shirt or shift. First English, _syrc_.
+
+{94c} Setiwall, garden valerian.
+
+{147e} Skellum, a worthless fellow. German, _schelm_.
+
+{149a} Skelpit, beat the ground with strong pulsation; rode quickly;
+pounded along.
+
+{150d} Skirl, sound shrill.
+
+{147d} Slaps, breaks in walls or hedges; also narrow passes.
+
+{149b} Smoored, smothered.
+
+{151j} Spean, wean.
+
+{32} Spear-hawk, sparrow-hawk. From the root _spar_, to quiver or
+flutter, comes the name of “sparrow” and a part of the name
+“sparrow-hawk.”
+
+{94e} Summerhall, Stubbs, in the “Anatomy of Abuses,” speaking of the
+maypole, tells how villagers, when they have reared it up, “with
+handkerchiefs and flags streaming on the top, they strew the ground
+about, bind green boughs about it, set up _summerhalls_, bowers, and
+arbours hard by it, and then fall they to banquet and feast, and leap and
+dance about it.”
+
+{148d} Swats, new ale, wort. First English, _swate_.
+
+{88c} Teen, vexation, grief.
+
+{152b} Tint, lost.
+
+{150c} Towsie tyke, a large rough cur.
+
+{92a} Tynsall, loss.
+
+{147c} Unco’, uncouth, more than was known usually.
+
+{151i} Wally, walie thriving. First English, _wælig_.
+
+{91c} Warsill, wrestle.
+
+{150b} Winnock-bunker, the window seat.
+
+{93d} Woned, dwelt.
+
+{17} Wottest, knowest.
+
+{88a} Woxen, grown.
+
+{93a} Yconned, taught.
+
+{81} Yode, went. First English, _eóde_, past of _gán_, to go.
+
+
+
+
+FOOTNOTES.
+
+
+{21} This old French and Anglo-Norman word, answering to the Italian
+_gentilezza_, and signifying the possession of every species of
+refinement, has been retained as supplying a want which there is no
+modern word to fill up.—_Leigh Hunt_.
+
+{26} The sententious sermon which here follows might have had a purely
+serious intention in Chaucer’s time, when books were rare, and moralities
+not such commonplaces as they are now; yet it is difficult to believe
+that the poet did not intend something of a covert satire upon at least
+the sermoniser’s own pretensions, especially as the latter had declared
+himself against text-spinning. The Host, it is to be observed, had
+already charged him with forgetting his own faults, while preaching
+against those of others. The _refashioner_ of the original lines has
+accordingly endeavoured to retain the kind of tabernacle, or old woman’s
+tone, into which he conceives the Manciple to have fallen, compared with
+that of his narrative style.—_Leigh Hunt_.
+
+{42} “We possess,” says Satan in _Paradise Lost_, “the quarters of the
+north.” The old legend that Milton followed placed Satan in the north
+parts of heaven, following the passage in Isaiah concerning Babylon on
+which that legend was constructed (Isa. xiv. 12–15), “Thou hast said in
+thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the
+stars of God; I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation _in the
+sides of the north_.”
+
+{49} Alluding to the “Millers Tale,” which has rather offended the Reve,
+by reason that it ridiculed a worthy carpenter.—R. H. H.
+
+{50} Or thus:—
+
+ For when our climbing’s done our speech aspires;
+ _E’en in our ashes live their wonted fires_.
+
+The original lines are:—
+
+ “For whanne we may not don than wol we speken,
+ Yet in our ashen olde is fyre yreken.”
+
+The coincidence of the last line with the one quoted from Gray’s Elegy
+will be remarked. Mr. Tyrwhit says he should certainly have considered
+the latter as an “imitation” (of Chaucer), “if Mr. Gray himself had not
+referred us to the 169 Sonnet of Petrarch as his original:—
+
+ Ch’ i’ veggio nel pensier, dolce mio foco,
+ Fredda una lingua, e duo begli occhi chiusi
+ Rimaner dopo noi pien’ di faville.
+
+The sentiment is different in all three; but the form of expression here
+adopted by Gray closely resembles that of the Father of English Poetry,
+although in Gray’s time it was no doubt far more elegant to quote
+Petrarch than Chaucer.—_R. H. Horne_.
+
+
+
+
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