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+Project Gutenberg's A Knight Of The Nineteenth Century, by E. P. Roe
+#13 in our series by E. P. Roe
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+Title: A Knight Of The Nineteenth Century
+
+Author: E. P. Roe
+
+Release Date: August, 2004 [EBook #6311]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on November 25, 2002]
+
+Edition: 10
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A KNIGHT OF THE 19TH C ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Tom Allen, Juliet Sutherland, Charles Franks
+and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+THE WORKS OF E. P. ROE
+
+VOLUME THREE
+
+A KNIGHT OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: "WOULD HE NEVER LOOK UP?"
+Knight XIX Century _Frontispiece_]
+
+
+
+
+THIS BOOK IS REVERENTLY
+DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY
+OF MY HONORED FATHER
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE
+
+  He best deserves a knightly crest,
+  Who slays the evils that infest
+  His soul within. If victor here,
+  He soon will find a wider sphere.
+  The world is cold to him who pleads;
+  The world bows low to knightly deeds.
+
+CORNWALL ON THE HUDSON, N.Y.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+CHAPTER I
+BAD TRAINING FOR A KNIGHT
+
+CHAPTER II
+BOTH APOLOGIZE
+
+CHAPTER III
+CHAINED TO AN ICEBERG
+
+CHAPTER IV
+IMMATURE
+
+CHAPTER V
+PASSION'S CLAMOR
+
+CHAPTER VI
+"GLOOMY GRANDEUR"
+
+CHAPTER VII
+BIRDS OF PREY
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+THEIR VICTIM
+
+CHAPTER IX
+PAT AND THE PRESS
+
+CHAPTER X
+RETURNING CONSCIOUSNESS
+
+CHAPTER XI
+HALDANE IS ARRESTED
+
+CHAPTER XII
+A MEMORABLE MEETING
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+OUR KNIGHT IN JAIL
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+MR. ARNOT'S SYSTEM WORKS BADLY
+
+CHAPTER XV
+HALDANE'S RESOLVE
+
+CHAPTER XVI
+THE IMPULSES OF WOUNDED PRIDE
+
+CHAPTER XVII
+AT ODDS WITH THE WORLD
+
+CHAPTER XVIII
+THE WORLD'S VERDICT--OUR KNIGHT A CRIMINAL
+
+CHAPTER XIX
+THE WORLD'S BEST OFFER--A PRISON
+
+CHAPTER XX
+MAIDEN AND WOOD-SAWYER
+
+CHAPTER XXI
+MAGNANIMOUS MR. SHRUMPF
+
+CHAPTER XXII
+A MAN WHO HATED HIMSELF
+
+CHAPTER XXIII
+MR. GROWTHER BECOMES GIGANTIC
+
+CHAPTER XXIV
+HOW PUBLIC OPINION IS OFTEN MADE
+
+CHAPTER XXV
+A PAPER PONIARD
+
+CHAPTER XXVI
+A SORRY KNIGHT
+
+CHAPTER XXVII
+GOD SENT HIS ANGEL
+
+CHAPTER XXVIII
+FACING THE CONSEQUENCES
+
+CHAPTER XXIX
+HOW EVIL ISOLATES
+
+CHAPTER XXX
+IDEAL KNIGHTHOOD
+
+CHAPTER XXXI
+THE LOW STARTING-POINT
+
+CHAPTER XXXII
+A SACRED REFRIGERATOR
+
+CHAPTER XXXIII
+A DOUBTFUL BATTLE IN PROSPECT
+
+CHAPTER XXXIV
+A FOOT-HOLD
+
+CHAPTER XXXV
+THAT SERMON WAS A BOMB-SHELL
+
+CHAPTER XXXVI
+MR. GROWTHER FEEDS AN ANCIENT GRUDGE
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII
+HOPING FOR A MIRACLE
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII
+THE MIRACLE TAKES PLACE
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX
+VOTARIES OF THE WORLD
+
+CHAPTER XL
+HUMAN NATURE
+
+CHAPTER XLI
+MRS. ARNOT'S CREED
+
+CHAPTER XLII
+THE LEVER THAT MOVES THE WORLD
+
+CHAPTER XLIII
+MR. GROWTHER "STUMPED"
+
+CHAPTER XLIV
+GROWTH
+
+CHAPTER XLV
+LAURA ROMEYN
+
+CHAPTER XLVI
+MISJUDGED
+
+CHAPTER XLVII
+LAURA CHOOSES HER KNIGHT
+
+CHAPTER XLVIII
+MRS. ARNOT'S KNIGHT
+
+CHAPTER XLIX
+A KNIGHTLY DEED
+
+CHAPTER L
+"O DREADED DEATH!"
+
+CHAPTER LI
+"O PRICELESS LIFE!"
+
+CHAPTER LII
+A MAN VERSUS A CONNOISSEUR
+
+CHAPTER LIII
+EXIT OF LAURA'S FIRST KNIGHT
+
+CHAPTER LIV
+ANOTHER KNIGHT APPEARS
+
+
+
+
+A KNIGHT OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+BAD TRAINING FOR A KNIGHT
+
+
+Egbert Haldane had an enemy who loved him very dearly, and he sincerely
+returned her affection, as he was in duty bound, since she was his
+mother. If, inspired by hate and malice, Mrs. Haldane had brooded over
+but one question at the cradle of her child, How can I most surely
+destroy this boy? she could scarcely have set about the task more
+skilfully and successfully.
+
+But so far from having any such malign and unnatural intention, Mrs.
+Haldane idolized her son. To make the paradox more striking, she was
+actually seeking to give him a Christian training and character. As he
+leaned against her knee Bible tales were told him, not merely for the
+sake of the marvellous interest which they ever have for children, but
+in the hope, also, that the moral they carry with them might remain as
+germinating seed. At an early age the mother had commenced taking him to
+church, and often gave him an admonitory nudge as his restless eyes
+wandered from the venerable face in the pulpit. In brief, the apparent
+influences of his early life were similar to those existing in
+multitudes of Christian homes. On general principles, it might be hoped
+that the boy's future would be all that his friends could desire; nor
+did he himself in early youth promise so badly to superficial observers;
+and the son of the wealthy Mrs. Haldane was, on the part of the world,
+more the object of envy than of censure. But a close observer, who
+judged of characteristic tendencies and their results by the light of
+experience, might justly fear that the mother had unwittingly done her
+child irreparable wrong.
+
+She had made him a tyrant and a relentless task-master even in his
+infancy. As his baby-will developed he found it supreme. His nurse was
+obliged to be a slave who must patiently humor every whim. He was petted
+and coaxed out of his frequent fits of passion, and beguiled from his
+obstinate and sulky moods by bribes. He was the eldest child and only
+son, and his little sisters were taught to yield to him, right or wrong,
+he lording it over them with the capricious lawlessness of an Eastern
+despot. Chivalric deference to woman, and a disposition to protect and
+honor her, is a necessary element of a manly character in our Western
+civilization; but young Haldane was as truly an Oriental as if he had
+been permitted to bluster around a Turkish harem; and those whom he
+should have learned to wait upon with delicacy and tact became
+subservient to his varying moods, developing that essential brutality
+which mars the nature of every man who looks upon woman as an inferior
+and a servant. He loved his mother, but he did not reverence and honor
+her. The thought ever uppermost in his mind was, "What ought she to do
+for me?" not, "What ought I to do for her?" and any effort to curb or
+guide on her part was met and thwarted by passionate or obstinate
+opposition from him. He loved his sisters after a fashion, because they
+were his sisters; but so far from learning to think of them as those
+whom it would be his natural task to cherish and protect, they were, in
+his estimation, "nothing but girls," and of no account whatever where
+his interests were concerned.
+
+In the most receptive period of life the poison of selfishness and
+self-love was steadily instilled into his nature. Before he had left the
+nursery he had formed the habit of disregarding the wills and wishes of
+others, even when his childish conscience told him that he was decidedly
+in the wrong. When he snatched his sisters' playthings they cried in
+vain, and found no redress. The mother made peace by smoothing over
+matters, and promising the little girls something else.
+
+Of course, the boy sought to carry into his school life the same
+tendencies and habits which he had learned at home, and he ever found a
+faithful ally in his blind, fond mother. She took his side against his
+teachers; she could not believe in his oppressions of his younger
+playmates; she was absurdly indignant and resentful when some sturdy boy
+stood up for his own rights, or championed another's, and sent the
+incipient bully back to her, crying, and with a bloody nose. When the
+pampered youth was a little indisposed, or imagined himself so, he was
+coddled at home, and had bonbons and fairy tales in the place of
+lessons.
+
+Judicious friends shook their heads ominously, and some even ventured to
+counsel the mother to a wiser course; but she ever resented such advice.
+The son was the image of his lost father, and her one impulse was to
+lavish upon him everything that his heart craved.
+
+As if all this were not enough, she placed in the boy's way another
+snare, which seldom fails of proving fatal. He had only to ask for money
+to obtain it, no knowledge of its value being imparted to him. Even when
+he took it from his mother's drawer without asking, her chidings were
+feeble and irresolute. He would silence and half satisfy her by saying:
+
+"You can take anything of mine that you want. It's all in the family;
+what difference does it make?"
+
+Thus every avenue of temptation in the city which could be entered by
+money was open to him, and he was not slow in choosing those naturally
+attractive to a boy.
+
+But while his mother was blind to the evil traits and tendencies which
+she was fostering with such ominous success, there were certain overt
+acts naturally growing out of her indulgences which would shock her
+inexpressibly, and evoke even from her the strongest expressions of
+indignation and rebuke. She was pre-eminently respectable, and fond of
+respect. She was a member "in good and regular standing" not only of her
+church, but also of the best society in the small inland city where she
+resided, and few greater misfortunes in her estimation could occur than
+to lose this status. She never hesitated to humor any of her son's whims
+and wishes which did not threaten their respectability, but the
+quick-witted boy was not long in discovering that she would not tolerate
+any of those vices and associations which society condemns.
+
+There could scarcely have been any other result save that which
+followed. She had never taught him self-restraint; his own inclinations
+furnished the laws of his action, and the wish to curb his desires
+because they were wrong scarcely ever crossed his mind. To avoid trouble
+with his mother, therefore, he began slyly and secretly to taste the
+forbidden fruits which her lavish supplies of money always kept within
+his reach. In this manner that most hopeless and vitiating of elements,
+deceitfulness, entered into his character. He denied to his mother, and
+sought to conceal from her, the truth that while still in his teens he
+was learning the gambler's infatuation and forming the inebriate's
+appetite. He tried to prevent her from knowing that many of his most
+intimate associates were such as he would not introduce to her or to his
+sisters.
+
+He had received, however, a few counter-balancing advantages in his
+early life. With all her weaknesses, his mother was a lady, and order,
+refinement, and elegance characterized his home. Though not a gentleman
+at heart, on approaching manhood he habitually maintained the outward
+bearing that society demands. The report that he was a little fast was
+more than neutralized by the fact of his wealth. Indeed, society
+concluded that it had much more occasion to smile than to frown upon
+him, and his increasing fondness for society and its approval in some
+degree curbed his tendencies to dissipation.
+
+It might also prove to his advantage that so much Christian and ethical
+truth had been lodged in his memory during early years. His mother had
+really taken pains to acquaint him with the Divine Man who "pleased not
+himself," even while she was practically teaching him to reverse this
+trait in his own character. Thus, while the youth's heart was sadly
+erratic, his head was tolerably orthodox, and he knew theoreticaly the
+chief principles of right action. Though his conscience had never been
+truly awakened, it often told him that his action was unmanly, to say
+the least; and that was as far as any self-censure could reach at this
+time. But it might prove a fortunate thing that although thorns and
+thistles had been planted chiefly, some good seed had been scattered
+also, and that he had received some idea of a life the reverse of that
+which he was leading.
+
+But thus far it might be said with almost literal truth, that young
+Haldane's acquaintance with Christian ethics had had no more practical
+effect upon his habitual action and thought than his knowledge of
+algebra. When his mother permitted him to snatch his sisters' playthings
+and keep them, when she took him from the school where he had received
+well-merited punishment, when she enslaved herself and her household to
+him instead of teaching considerate and loyal devotion to her, she
+nullified all the Christian instruction that she or any one else had
+given.
+
+The boy had one very marked trait, which might promise well for the
+future, or otherwise, according to circumstances, and that was a certain
+wilful persistence, which often degenerated into downright obstinacy.
+Frequently, when his mother thought that she had coaxed or wheedled him
+into giving up something of which she did not approve, he would quietly
+approach his object in some other way, and gain his point, or sulk till
+he did. When he set his heart upon anything he was not as "unstable as
+water." While but an indifferent and superficial student, who had
+habitually escaped lessons and skipped difficulties, he occasionally
+became nettled by a perplexing problem or task, and would work at it
+with a sort of vindictive, unrelenting earnestness, as if he were
+subduing an enemy. Having put his foot on the obstacle, and mastered the
+difficulty that piqued him, he would cast the book aside, indifferent to
+the study or science of which it formed but a small fraction.
+
+After all, perhaps the best that could be said of him was that he
+possessed fair abilities, and was still subject to the good and generous
+impulses of youth. His traits and tendencies were, in the main, all
+wrong; but he had not as yet become confirmed and hardened in them.
+Contact with the world, which sooner or later tells a man the truth
+about himself, however unwelcome, might dissipate the illusion, gained
+from his mother's idolatry, that in some indefinite way he was
+remarkable in himself, and that he was destined to great things from a
+vague and innate superiority, which it had never occurred to him to
+analyze.
+
+But as the young man approached his majority his growing habits of
+dissipation became so pronounced that even his willingly blind mother
+was compelled to recognize them. Rumor of his fast and foolish behavior
+took such definite shape as to penetrate the widow's aristocratic
+retirement, and to pass the barriers created by the reserve which she
+ever maintained in regard to personal and family matters. More than once
+her son came home in a condition so nearly resembling intoxication that
+she was compelled to recognize the cause, and she was greatly shocked
+and alarmed. Again and again she said to herself:
+
+"I cannot understand how a boy brought up in the careful Christian
+manner that he has been can show such unnatural depravity. It is a dark,
+mysterious providence, to which I feel I cannot submit."
+
+Though young Haldane was aware of his mother's intolerance of
+disreputable vices and follies, he was not prepared for her strong and
+even bitter condemnation of his action. Having never been taught to
+endure from her nor from any one the language of rebuke, he retorted as
+a son never should do in any circumstances, and stormy scenes followed.
+
+Thus the mother was at last rudely awakened to the fact that her son was
+not a model youth, and that something must be done speedily, or else he
+might go to destruction, and in the meantime disgrace both himself and
+her--an event almost equally to be dreaded.
+
+In her distress and perplexity she summoned her pastor, and took counsel
+with him. At her request the venerable man readily agreed to "talk to"
+the wayward subject, and thought that his folly and its consequences
+could be placed before the young man in such a strong and logical
+statement that it would convince him at once that he must "repent and
+walk in the ways of righteousness." If Haldane's errors had been those
+of doctrine, Dr. Marks would have been an admirable guide; but the
+trouble was that, while the good doctor was familiar with all the
+readings of obscure Greek and Hebrew texts, and all the shades of
+opinions resulting, he was unacquainted with even the alphabet of human
+nature. In approaching "a sinner," he had one formal and unvarying
+method, and he chose his course not from the bearing of the subject
+himself, but from certain general theological truths which he believed
+applied to the "unrenewed heart of man as a fallen race." He rather
+prided himself upon calling a sinner a sinner, and all things else by
+their right names; and thus it is evident that he often had but little
+of the Pauline guile, which enabled the great apostle to entangle the
+wayward feet of Jew, Greek and Roman, bond and free, in heavenly snares.
+
+The youth whom he was to convince and convert by a single broadside of
+truth, as it were, moved in such an eccentric orbit, that the doctor
+could never bring his heavy artillery to bear upon him. Neither coaxing
+nor scolding on the part of the mother could bring about the formal
+interview. At last, however, it was secured by an accident, and his
+mother felt thereafter, with a certain sense of consolation, that "all
+had been done that could be done."
+
+Entering the parlor unexpectedly one afternoon, Haldane stumbled
+directly upon Dr. Marks, who opened fire at once, by saying:
+
+"My young friend, this is quite providential, as I have long been
+wishing for an interview. Please be seated, for I have certain things to
+say which relate to your spiritual and temporal well-being, although the
+latter is a very secondary matter."
+
+Haldane was too well bred to break rudely and abruptly away, and yet it
+must be admitted that he complied with very much the feeling and grace
+with which he would take a dentist's chair.
+
+"My young friend, if you ever wish to be a saint you must first have a
+profound conviction that you are a sinner. I hope that you realize that
+you are a sinner."
+
+"I am quite content to be a gentleman," was the brusque reply.
+
+"But as long as you remain an impenitent sinner you can never be even a
+true gentleman," responded the clergyman somewhat warmly.
+
+Haldane had caught a shocked and warning look from his mother, and so
+did not reply. He saw that he was "in for it," as he would express
+himself, and surmised that the less he said the sooner the ordeal would
+be over. He therefore took refuge in a silence that was both sullen and
+resentful. He was too young and uncurbed to maintain a cold and
+impassive face, and his dark eyes occasionally shot vindictive gleams at
+both his mother and her ally, who had so unexpectedly caged him against
+his will. Fortunately the doctor was content, after he had got under
+way, to talk at, instead of to, his listener, and thus was saved the
+mortification of asking questions of one who would not have answered.
+
+After the last sonorous period had been rounded, the youth arose, bowed
+stiffly, and withdrew, but with a heart overflowing with a malicious
+desire to retaliate. At the angle of the house stood the clergyman's
+steady-going mare, and his low, old-fashioned buggy. It was but the work
+of a moment to slip part of the shuck of a horse-chestnut, with its
+sharp spines, under the collar, so that when the traces drew upon it the
+spines would be driven into the poor beast's neck. Then, going down to
+the main street of the town, through which he knew the doctor must pass
+on his way home, he took his post of observation.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+BOTH APOLOGIZE
+
+
+Haldane's hopes were realized beyond his anticipations, for the doctor's
+old mare--at first surprised and restless from the wounds made by the
+sharp spines--speedily became indignant and fractious, and at last, half
+frantic with pain, started on a gallop down the street, setting all the
+town agog with excitement and alarm.
+
+With grim satisfaction Haldane saw the doctor's immaculate silk hat fly
+into the mud, his wig, blown comically awry, fall over his eyes, and his
+spectacles joggle down until they sat astride the tip of a rather
+prominent nose.
+
+Having had his revenge he at once relented, and rushing out in advance
+of some others who were coming to the rescue, he caught the poor beast,
+and stopped her so suddenly that the doctor was nearly precipitated over
+the dashboard. Then, pretending to examine the harness to see that
+nothing was broken, he quietly removed the cause of irritation, and the
+naturally sedate beast at once became far more composed than her master,
+for, as a bystander remarked, the venerable doctor was "dreadfully shuck
+up." It was quite in keeping with Haldane's disingenuous nature to
+accept the old gentleman's profuse thanks for the rescue. The impulse to
+carry his mischief still further was at once acted upon, and he offered
+to see the doctor safely home.
+
+His services were eagerly accepted, for the poor man was much too
+unnerved to take the reins again, though, had he known it, the mare
+would now have gone to the parsonage quietly, and of her own accord.
+
+The doctor was gradually righted up and composed. His wig, which had
+covered his left eye, was arranged decorously in its proper place, and
+the gold-rimmed spectacles pressed back so that the good man could beam
+mildly and gratefully upon his supposed preserver. The clerical hat,
+however, had lost its character beyond recovery, and though its owner
+was obliged to wear it home, it must be confessed that it did not at all
+comport with the doctor's dignity and calling.
+
+Young Haldane took the reins with a great show of solicitude and
+vigilance, appearing to dread another display of viciousness from the
+mare, that was now most sheeplike in her docility; and thus, with his
+confiding victim, he jogged along through the crowded street, the object
+of general approval and outspoken commendation.
+
+"My dear young friend," began the doctor fervently, "I feel that you
+have already repaid me amply for my labors in your behalf."
+
+"Thank you," said Haldane demurely; "I think we are getting even."
+
+"This has been a very mysterious affair," continued the doctor musingly;
+"surely 'a horse is a vain thing for safety.' One is almost tempted to
+believe that demoniacal possession is not wholly a thing of the past.
+Indeed, I could not think of anything else while Dolly was acting so
+viciously and unaccountably."
+
+"I agree with you," responded Haldane gravely, "she certainly did come
+down the street like the devil."
+
+The doctor was a little shocked at this putting of his thoughts into
+plain English, for it sounded somewhat profanely. But he was in no mood
+to find fault with his companion, and they got on very well together to
+the end of their brief journey. The young scapegrace was glad, indeed,
+that it was brief, for his self-control was fast leaving him, and having
+bowed a rather abrupt farewell to the doctor, he was not long in
+reaching one of his haunts, from which during the evening, and quite
+late into the night, came repeated peals of laughter, that grew more
+boisterous and discordant as that synonyme of mental and moral anarchy,
+the "spirit of wine," gained the mastery.
+
+The tidings of her son's exploit in rescuing the doctor were not long in
+reaching Mrs. Haldane, and she felt that the good seed sown that day had
+borne immediate fruit. She longed to fold him in her arms and commend
+his courage, while she poured out thanksgiving that he himself had
+escaped uninjured, which immunity, she believed, must have resulted from
+the goodness and piety of the deed. But when he at last appeared with
+step so unsteady and utterance so thick that even she could not mistake
+the cause, she was bewildered and bitterly disappointed by the apparent
+contradictoriness of his action; and when he, too far gone for
+dissimulation, described and acted out in pantomime the doctor's plight
+and appearance, she became half hysterical from her desire to laugh, to
+cry, and to give vent to her kindling indignation.
+
+This anger was raised almost to the point of white heat on the morrow.
+The cause of the old mare's behavior, and the interview which had led to
+the practical joke, soon became an open secret, and while it convulsed
+the town with laughter, it also gave the impression that young Haldane
+was in a "bad way."
+
+It was not long before Mrs. Haldane received a note from an indignant
+fellow church-member, in which, with some disagreeable comment, her
+son's conduct was plainly stated. She was also informed that the doctor
+had become aware of the rude jest of which he had been the subject. Mrs.
+Haldane was almost furious; but her son grew sullen and obstinate as the
+storm which he had raised increased. The only thing he would say as an
+apology or excuse amounted to this:
+
+"What else could he expect from one who he so emphatically asserted was
+a sinner?"
+
+The mother wrote at once to the doctor, and was profuse in her apologies
+and regrets, but was obliged to admit to him that her son was beyond her
+control.
+
+When the doctor first learned the truth his equanimity was almost as
+greatly disturbed as it had been on the previous day, and his first
+emotions were obviously those of wrath. But a little thought brought him
+to a better mood.
+
+He was naturally deficient in tact, and his long habit of dwelling upon
+abstract and systematic truth had diminished his power of observantly
+and intuitively gauging the character of the one with whom he was
+dealing. He therefore often failed wofully in adaptation, and his
+sermons occasionally went off into rarefied realms of moral space, where
+nothing human existed. But his heart was true and warm, and his Master's
+cause of far more consequence to him than his own dignity.
+
+As he considered the matter maturely he came to the conclusion that
+there must have been something wrong on both sides. If he had presented
+the truth properly the young man could not have acted so improperly.
+After recalling the whole affair, he became satisfied that he had relied
+far too much on his own strong logic, and it had seemed to him that it
+must convince. He had forgotten for the moment that those who would do
+good should be very humble, and that, in a certain sense, they must take
+the hand of God, and place it upon the one whom they would save.
+
+Thus the honest old clergyman tried to search out the error and weakness
+which had led to such a lamentable failure in his efforts; and when at
+last Mrs. Haldane's note of sorrowful apology and motherly distress
+reached him, his anger was not only gone, but his heart was full of
+commiseration for both herself and her son. He at once sat down, and
+wrote her a kind and consolatory letter, in which he charged her
+hereafter to trust less to the "arm of flesh" and more to the "power of
+God." He also inclosed a note to the young man, which his mother handed
+to him with a darkly reproachful glance. He opened it with a
+contemptuous frown, expecting to find within only indignant upbraidings;
+but his face changed rapidly as he read the following words:
+
+
+"MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND--I hardly know which of us should apologize. I
+now perceive and frankly admit that there was wrong on my side. I
+could not have approached you and spoken to you in the right spirit,
+for if I had, what followed could not have occurred. I fear there
+was a self-sufficiency in my words and mariner yesterday, which made
+you conscious of Dr. Marks only, and you had no scruples in dealing
+with Dr. Marks as you did. If my words and bearing had brought you
+face to face with my august yet merciful Master, you would have
+respected Him, and also me, His servant. I confess that I was very
+angry this morning, for I am human. But now I am more concerned lest
+I have prejudiced you against Him by whom alone we all are saved.
+Yours faithfully,
+
+"ZEBULON MARKS."
+
+
+The moment Haldane finished reading the note he left the room, and his
+mother heard him at the hat-rack in the hall, preparing to go out. She,
+supposing that he was again about to seek some of his evil haunts,
+remonstrated sharply; but, without paying the slightest attention to her
+words, he departed, and within less than half an hour rang the bell at
+the parsonage.
+
+Dr. Marks could scarcely believe his eyes as the young man was shown
+into his study, but he welcomed him as cordially as though nothing
+unpleasant had occurred between them.
+
+After a moment's hesitation and embarrassment Haldane began:
+
+"When I read your note this evening I had not the slightest doubt that I
+was the one to apologize, and I sincerely ask your pardon."
+
+The old gentleman's eyes grew moist, and he blew his nose in a rather
+unusual manner. But he said promptly:
+
+"Thank you, my young friend, thank you. I appreciate this. But no matter
+about me. How about my Master? won't you become reconciled to Him?"
+
+"I suppose by that you mean, won't you be a Christian?"
+
+"That is just what I mean and most desire. I should be willing to risk
+broken bones any day to accomplish that."
+
+Haldane smiled, shook his head, and after a moment said:
+
+"I must confess that I have not the slightest wish to become a
+Christian."
+
+The old gentleman's eager and interested expression changed instantly to
+one of the deepest sorrow and commiseration. At the same time he
+appeared bewildered and perplexed, but murmured, more in soliloquy than
+as an address to the young man:
+
+"O Ephraim! how shall I give thee up?"
+
+Haldane was touched by the venerable man's tone and manner, more than he
+would have thought possible, and, feeling that he could not trust
+himself any longer, determined to make his escape as soon as
+practicable. But as he rose to take his leave he said, a little
+impulsively:
+
+"I feel sure, sir, that if you had spoken and looked yesterday as you do
+this evening I would not have--I would not have--"
+
+"I understand, my young friend; I now feel sure that I was more to blame
+than yourself, and your part is already forgiven and forgotten. I am now
+only solicitous about _you_."
+
+"You are very kind to feel so after what has happened, and I will say
+this much--If I ever do wish to become a Christian, there is no one
+living to whom I will come for counsel more quickly than yourself.
+Good-night, sir."
+
+"Give me your hand before you go."
+
+It was a strong, warm, lingering grasp that the old man gave, and in the
+dark days of temptation that followed, Haldane often felt that it had a
+helping and sustaining influence.
+
+"I wish I could hold on to you," said the doctor huskily; "I wish I
+could lead you by loving force into the paths of pleasantness and peace.
+But what I can't do, God can. Good-by, and God bless you."
+
+Haldane fled rather precipitously, for he felt that he was becoming
+constrained by a loving violence that was as mysterious as it was
+powerful. Before he had passed through the main street of the town,
+however, a reckless companion placed an arm in his, and led him to one
+of their haunts, where he drank deeper than usual, that he might get rid
+of the compunctions which the recent interview had occasioned.
+
+His mother was almost in despair when he returned. He had, indeed,
+become to her a terrible and perplexing problem. As she considered the
+legitimate results of her own weak indulgence she would sigh again and
+again:
+
+"Never was there a darker and more mysterious providence. I feel that I
+can neither understand it nor submit."
+
+A sense of helplessness in dealing with this stubborn and perverse will
+overwhelmed her, and, while feeling that something must be done, she was
+at a loss what to do. Her spiritual adviser having failed to meet the
+case, she next summoned her legal counsellor, who managed her property.
+
+He was a man of few words, and an adept in worldly wisdom.
+
+"Your son should have employment," he said;
+
+  "'Satan finds some mischief still
+  For idle hands,'
+
+"etc., is a sound maxim, if not first-class poetry. If Mr. Arnot, the
+husband of your old friend, is willing to take him, you cannot do better
+than place your son in his charge, for he is one of the most methodical
+and successful business men of my acquaintance."
+
+Mrs. Arnot, in response to her friend's letter, induced her husband to
+make a position in his counting-house for young Haldane, who, from a
+natural desire to see more of the world, entered into the arrangement
+very willingly.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+CHAINED TO AN ICEBERG
+
+
+Hillaton, the suburban city in which the Arnots resided, was not very
+distant from New York, and drew much of its prosperity from its
+relations with the metropolis. It prided itself much on being a
+university town, but more because many old families of extremely blue
+blood and large wealth gave tone and color to its society. It is true
+that this highest social circle was very exclusive, and formed but a
+small fraction of the population; but the people in general had come to
+speak of "our society," as being "unusually good," just as they
+commended to strangers the architecture of "our college buildings,"
+though they had little to do with either.
+
+Mrs. Arnot's blood, however, was as blue as that of the most ancient and
+aristocratic of her neighbors, while in character and culture she had
+few equals. But with the majority of those most cerulean in their vital
+fluid the fact that she possessed large wealth in her own name, and was
+the wife of a man engaged in a colossal business, weighed more than all
+her graces and ancestral honors.
+
+Young Haldane's employer, Mr. Arnot, was, indeed, a man of business and
+method, for the one absorbed his very soul, and the other divided his
+life into cubes and right angles of manner and habit. It could scarcely
+be said that he had settled down into ruts, for this would presuppose
+the passiveness of a nature controlled largely by circumstances. People
+who travel in ruts drop more often into those made by others than such
+as are worn by themselves. Mr. Arnot moved rather in his own
+well-defined grooves, which he had deliberately furrowed out with his
+own steely will. In these he went through the day with the same strong,
+relentless precision which characterized the machinery in his several
+manufacturing establishments.
+
+He was a man, too, who had always had his own way, and, as is usually
+true in such instances, the forces of his life had become wholly
+centripetal.
+
+The cosmos of the selfish man or woman is practically this--Myself the
+centre of the universe, and all things else are near or remote, of value
+or otherwise, in accordance with their value and interest to me.
+
+Measuring by this scale of distances (which was the only correct one in
+the case of Mr. Arnot) the wife of his bosom was quite a remote object.
+She formed no part of his business, and he, in his hard, narrow
+worldliness, could not even understand the principles and motives of her
+action. She was a true and dutiful wife, and presided over his household
+with elegance and refinement; but he regarded all this as a matter of
+course. He could not conceive of anything else in _his_ wife. All
+his "subordinates" in their several spheres, "must" perform their duties
+with becoming propriety. Everything "must be regular and systematic" in
+his house, as truly as in his factories and counting-room.
+
+Mrs. Arnot endeavored to conform to his peculiarities in this respect,
+and kept open the domestic grooves in which it was necessary to his
+peace that he should move regularly and methodically. He had his meals
+at the hour he chose, to the moment, and when he retired to his
+library--or, rather, the business office at his house--not the
+throne-room of King Ahasuerus was more sacred from intrusion; and seldom
+to his wife, even, was the sceptre of favor and welcome held out, should
+she venture to enter.
+
+For a long time she had tried to be an affectionate as well as a
+faithful wife, for she had married this man from love. She had mistaken
+his cool self-poise for the calmness and steadiness of strength; and
+women are captivated by strength, and sometimes by its semblance. He was
+strong; but so also are the driving-wheels of an engine.
+
+There is an undefined, half-recognized force in nature which leads many
+to seek to balance themselves by marrying their opposites in
+temperament. While the general working of this tendency is, no doubt,
+beneficent, it not unfrequently brings together those who are so
+radically different, that they cannot supplement each other, but must
+ever remain two distinct, unblended lives, that are in duty bound to
+obey the letter of the law of marriage, but who cannot fulfil its
+spirit.
+
+For years Mrs. Arnot had sought with all a woman's tact to consummate
+their marriage, so that the mystical words of God, "And they twain shall
+be one flesh," should describe their union; but as time passed she had
+seen her task grow more and more hopeless. The controlling principles of
+each life were utterly different. He was hardening into stone, while the
+dross and materiality of her nature were being daily refined away. A
+strong but wholly selfish character cannot blend by giving and taking,
+and thus becoming modified into something different and better. It can
+only absorb, and thus drag down to its own condition. Before there can
+be unity the weaker one must give up and yield personal will and
+independence to such a degree that it is almost equivalent to being
+devoured and assimilated.
+
+But Mr. Arnot seemed to grow too narrow and self-sufficient in his
+nature for such spiritual cannibalism, even had his wife been a weak,
+neutral character, with no decided and persistent individuality of her
+own. He was not slow in exacting outward and mechanical service, but he
+had no time to "bother" with her thoughts, feelings, and opinions; nor
+did he think it worth while, to any extent, to lead her to reflect only
+his feelings and opinions. Neither she nor any one else was very
+essential to him. His business _was_ necessary, and he valued it even
+more than the wealth which resulted from it. He grew somewhat like his
+machinery, which needed attention, but which cherished no sentiments
+toward those who waited on it during its hours of motion.
+
+Thus, though not deliberately intending it, his manner toward his wife
+had come to be more and more the equivalent of a steady black frost, and
+she at last feared that the man had congealed or petrified to his very
+heart's core.
+
+While the only love in Mr. Arnot's heart was self-love, even in this
+there existed no trace of weak indulgence and tenderness. His life
+consisted in making his vast and complicated business go forward
+steadily, systematically, and successfully; and he would not permit that
+entity known as Thomas Arnot to thwart him any more than he would brook
+opposition or neglect in his office-boy. All things, even himself, must
+bend to the furtherance of his cherished objects.
+
+But, whatever else was lacking, Mr. Arnot had a profound respect for his
+wife. First and chiefly, she was wealthy, and he, having control of her
+property, made it subservient to his business. He had chafed at first
+against what he termed her "sentimental ways of doing good" and her
+"ridiculous theories," but in these matters he had ever found her as
+gentle as a woman, but as unyielding as granite. She told him plainly
+that her religious life and its expression were matters between herself
+and God--that it was a province into which his cast-iron system and
+material philosophy could not enter. He grumbled at her large charities,
+and declared that she "turned their dwelling into a club-house for young
+men"; but she followed her conscience with such a quiet, unswerving
+dignity that he found no pretext for interference. The money she gave
+away was her own, and fortunately, the house to which it was her delight
+to draw young men from questionable and disreputable places of resort
+had been left to her by her father. Though she did not continually
+remind her husband of these facts, as an under-bred woman might have
+done, her manner was so assured and unhesitating that he was compelled
+to recognize her rights, and to see that she was fully aware of them
+also. Since she yielded so gracefully and considerately all and more
+than he could justly claim, he finally concluded to ignore what he
+regarded as her "peculiarities." As for himself, he had no
+peculiarities. He was a "practical, sensible man, with no nonsense about
+him."
+
+Mrs. Haldane had been in such sore straits and perplexity about her son
+that she overcame her habitual reserve upon family and personal matters,
+and wrote to her friend a long and confidential letter, in which she
+fully described the "mysterious providence" which was clouding her life.
+
+Mrs. Arnot had long been aware of her friend's infirmity, and more than
+once had sought with delicacy and yet with faithfulness to open her eyes
+to the consequences of her indulgence. But Mrs. Haldane, unfortunately,
+was incapable of taking a broad, and therefore correct, view of
+anything. She was governed far more by her prejudices and feelings than
+by reason or experience, and the emotion or prejudice uppermost absorbed
+her mind so completely as to exclude all other considerations. Her
+friendship for Mrs. Arnot had commenced at school, but the two ladies
+had developed so differently that the relation had become more a
+cherished memory of the happy past than a congenial intimacy of their
+maturer life.
+
+The "mysterious providence" of which Mrs. Haldane wrote was to Mrs.
+Arnot a legitimate and almost inevitable result. But, now that the
+mischief had been accomplished, she was the last one in the world to say
+to her friend, "I told you so." To her mind the providential feature in
+the matter was the chance that had come to her of counteracting the evil
+which the mother had unconsciously developed. This opportunity was in
+the line of her most cherished plan and hope of usefulness, as will be
+hereafter seen, and she had lost no time in persuading her husband to
+give Haldane employment in his counting-room. She also secured his
+consent that the youth should become a member of the family, for a time
+at least. Mr. Arnot yielded these points reluctantly, for it was a part
+of his policy to have no more personal relations with his _employes_
+than with his machinery. He wished them to feel that they were merely a
+part of his system, and that the moment any one did not work regularly
+and accurately he must be cast aside as certainly as a broken or
+defective wheel. But as his wife's health made her practically a silent
+partner in his vast business, he yielded--though with rather ill grace,
+and with a prediction that it "would not work well."
+
+Haldane was aware that his mother had written a long letter to Mrs.
+Arnot, and he supposed that his employer and his wife had thus become
+acquainted with all his misdeeds. He, therefore, rather dreaded to meet
+those who must, from the first, regard him as a graceless and difficult
+subject, that could not be managed at home. But, with the characteristic
+recklessness of young men who have wealth to fall back upon, he had
+fortified himself by thoughts like the following:
+
+"If they do not treat me well, or try to put me into a straight-jacket,
+or if I find the counting-house too dull, I can bid them good-morning
+whenever I choose."
+
+But Mrs. Arnot's frank and cordial reception was an agreeable surprise.
+He arrived quite late in the evening, and she had a delightful little
+lunch brought to him in her private parlor. By the time it was eaten her
+graceful tact had banished all stiffness and sense of strangeness, and
+he found himself warming into friendliness toward one whom he had
+especially dreaded as a "remarkably pious lady"--for thus his mother had
+always spoken of her.
+
+It was scarcely strange that he should be rapidly disarmed by this lady,
+who cannot be described in a paragraph. Though her face was rather
+plain, it was so expressive of herself that it seldom failed to
+fascinate. Nature can do much to render a countenance attractive, but
+character accomplishes far more. The beauty which is of feature merely
+catches the careless, wandering eye. The beauty which is the reflex of
+character _holds_ the eye, and eventually wins the heart. Those who
+knew Mrs. Arnot best declared that, instead of growing old and homely,
+she was growing more lovely every year. Her dark hair had turned gray
+early, and was fast becoming snowy white. For some years after her
+marriage she had grown old very fast. She had dwelt, as it were, on the
+northern side of an iceberg, and in her vain attempt to melt and
+humanize it, had almost perished herself. As the earthly streams and
+rills that fed her life congealed, she was led to accept of the love of
+God, and the long arctic winter of her despair passed gradually away.
+She was now growing young again. A faint bloom was dawning in her
+cheeks, and her form was gaming that fulness which is associated with
+the maturity of middle age. Her bright black eyes were the most
+attractive and expressive feature which she possessed, and they often
+seemed gifted with peculiar powers.
+
+As they beamed upon the young man they had much the same effect as the
+anthracite coals which glowed in the grate, and he began to be conscious
+of some disposition to give her his confidence.
+
+Having dismissed the servant with the lunch tray, she caused him to draw
+his chair sociably up to the fire, and said, without any circumlocution:
+
+"Mr. Haldane, perhaps this is the best time for us to have a frank talk
+in regard to the future."
+
+The young man thought that this was the preface for some decided
+criticism of the past, and his face became a little hard and defiant.
+But in this he was mistaken, for the lady made no reference to his
+faults, of which she had been informed by his mother. She spoke in a
+kindly but almost in a business-like way of his duties in the
+counting-room, and of the domestic rules of the household, to which he
+would be expected to conform. She also spoke plainly of her husband's
+inexorable requirement of system, regularity, and order, and dwelt upon
+the fact that all in his employ conformed to this demand, and that it
+was the business-like and manly thing to do.
+
+"This is your first venture out into the world, I understand," she said,
+rising to intimate that their interview was over, "and I greatly wish
+that it may lead toward a useful and successful career. I have spoken
+plainly because I wished you to realize just what you have undertaken,
+and thus meet with no unpleasant surprises or unexpected experiences.
+When one enters upon a course with his eyes open, he in a certain sense
+pledges himself to do the best he can in that line of duty, and our
+acquaintance, though so brief, has convinced me that you _can_ do very
+well indeed."
+
+"I was under the impression," said the young man, coloring deeply, "that
+my mother's letter had led you to suppose--to expect just the contrary."
+
+"Mr. Haldane," said Mrs. Arnot, giving him her hand with graceful tact,
+"I shall form my opinion of you solely on the ground of your own action,
+and I wish you to think of me as a friend who takes a genuine interest
+in your success. Good-night."
+
+He went to his room in quite a heroic and virtuous mood.
+
+"She does not treat me a bit like a 'bad boy,' as I supposed she would,"
+he thought; "but appears to take it for granted that I shall be a
+gentleman in this her house, and a sensible fellow in her husband's
+office. Blow me if I disappoint her!"
+
+Nor did he for several weeks. Even Mr. Arnot was compelled to admit that
+it did "work rather better than he expected," and that he "supposed the
+young fellow did as well as he could."
+
+As the novelty of Haldane's new relations wore off, however, and as his
+duties became so familiar as to be chiefly a matter of routine, the
+grave defects of his character and training began to show themselves.
+The restraint of the counting-room grew irksome. Associations were
+formed in the city which tended toward his old evil habits. As a piece
+of Mr. Arnot's machinery he did not move with the increasing precision
+that his employer required and expected on his becoming better
+acquainted with his duties.
+
+Mrs. Arnot had expected this, and knew that her husband would tolerate
+carelessness and friction only up to a certain point. She had gained
+more influence over the young man than any one else had ever possessed,
+and by means of it kept him within bounds for some time; but she saw
+from her husband's manner that things were fast approaching a crisis.
+
+One evening she kindly, but frankly, told him of the danger in which he
+stood of an abrupt, stern dismissal.
+
+He was more angry than alarmed, and during the following day about
+concluded that he would save himself any such mortification by leaving
+of his own accord. He quite persuaded himself that he had a soul above
+plodding business, and that, after enjoying himself at home for a time,
+he could enter upon some other career, that promised more congeniality
+and renown.
+
+In order that his employer might not anticipate him, he performed his
+duties very accurately that day, but left the office with the
+expectation of never returning.
+
+He had very decided compunctions in thus requiting Mrs. Arnot's
+kindness, but muttered recklessly:
+
+"I'm tired of this humdrum, treadmill life, and believe I'm destined to
+better things. If I could only get a good position in the army or navy,
+the world would hear from me. They say money opens every door, and
+mother must open some good wide door for me."
+
+Regardless now of his employer's good or bad opinion, he came down late
+to supper; but, instead of observing with careless defiance the frown
+which he knew lowered toward him, his eyes were drawn to a fair young
+face on the opposite side of the table.
+
+Mrs. Arnot, in her pleasant, cordial voice, which made the simplest
+thing she said seem real and hearty, rather than conventional,
+introduced him:
+
+"Mr. Haldane, my niece, Miss Laura Romeyn. Laura, no doubt, can do far
+more than an old lady to make your evenings pass brightly."
+
+After a second glance of scrutiny, Haldane was so ungratefully forgetful
+of all Mrs. Arnot's kindness as to be inclined to agree with her remark.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+IMMATURE
+
+
+"Is she a young lady, or merely a school-girl?" was Haldane's query
+concerning the stranger sitting opposite to him; and he addressed to her
+a few commonplace but exploring remarks. Regarding himself as well
+acquainted with society in general, and young ladies in particular, he
+expected to solve the question at once, and was perplexed that he could
+not. He had flirted with several misses as immature as himself, and so
+thought that he was profoundly versed in the mysteries of the sex. "They
+naturally lean toward and look up to men, and one is a fool, or else
+lacking in personal appearance, who does not have his own way with
+them," was his opinion, substantially.
+
+Modesty is a grace which fine-looking young men of large wealth are
+often taught by some severe experiences, if it is ever learned. Haldane,
+as yet, had not received such wholesome depletion. His self-approval and
+assurance, moreover, were quite natural, since his mother and sisters
+had seldom lost an opportunity of developing and confirming these
+traits. The yielding of women to his will and wishes had been one of the
+most uniform experiences of his life, and he had come to regard it as
+the natural order of things. Without formulating the thought in plain
+words, he nevertheless regarded Mrs. Arnot's kindness, by which she
+sought to gain a helpful influence over him, as largely due to some
+peculiar fascination of his own, which made him a favorite wherever he
+chose to be. Of course, the young stranger on the opposite side of the
+table would prove no exception to the rule, and all he had to do was to
+satisfy himself that she was sufficiently pretty and interesting to make
+it worth while to pay her a little attention.
+
+But for some reason she did not seem greatly impressed by his
+commonplace and rather patronizing remarks. Was it pride or dignity on
+her part, or was it mere girlish shyness? It must be the latter, for
+there was no occasion for pride and dignity in her manner toward him.
+
+Then came the thought that possibly Mrs. Arnot had not told her who he
+was, and that she looked upon him as a mere clerk of low degree. To
+remove from her mind any such error, his tones and manner became still
+more self-asserting and patronizing.
+
+"If she has any sense at all," he thought, "she shall see that I have
+peculiar claims to her respect."
+
+As he proceeded in these tactics, there was a growing expression of
+surprise and a trace of indignation upon the young girl's face. Mrs.
+Arnot watched the by-play with an amused expression. There was not much
+cynicism in her nature. She believed that experience would soon prick
+the bubble of his vanity, and it was her disposition to smile rather
+than to sneer at absurdity in others. Besides, she was just. She never
+applied to a young man of twenty the standard by which she would measure
+those of her own age, and she remembered Haldane's antecedents. But Mr.
+Arnot went to his library muttering:
+
+"The ridiculous fool!"
+
+When Miss Romeyn rose from the table, Haldane saw that she was certainly
+tall enough to be a young lady, for she was slightly above medium
+height. He still believed that she was very young, however, for her
+figure was slight and girlish, and while her bearing was graceful it had
+not that assured and pronounced character to which he had been
+accustomed.
+
+"She evidently has not seen much of society. Well, since she is not
+gawky, I like her better than if she were blase. Anything but your blase
+girls," he observed to himself, with a consciousness that he was an
+experienced man of the world.
+
+The piano stood open in the drawing-room, and this suggested music.
+Haldane had at his tongue's end the names of half a dozen musicians
+whose professional titles had been prominent in the newspapers for a few
+months previous, and whose merits had formed a part of the current
+chit-chat of the day. Some he had heard, and others he had not, but he
+could talk volubly of all, and he asked Miss Romeyn for her opinion of
+one and another in a manner which implied that of course she knew about
+them, and that ignorance in regard to such persons was not to be
+expected.
+
+Her face colored with annoyance, but she said quietly and a trifle
+coldly that she had not heard them.
+
+Mrs. Arnot again smiled as she watched the young people, but she now
+came to her niece's rescue, thinking also it would be well to disturb
+Haldane's sense of superiority somewhat. So she said:
+
+"Laura, since we cannot hear this evening the celebrated artists that
+Mr. Haldane has mentioned, we must content ourselves with simple home
+music. Won't you play for us that last selection of which you wrote to
+me?"
+
+"I hardly dare, auntie, since Mr. Haldane is such a critical judge, and
+has heard so much music from those who make it a business to be perfect.
+He must have listened to the selection you name a hundred times, for it
+is familiar to most lovers of good music."
+
+Haldane had sudden misgivings. Suppose he had not heard it? This would
+be awkward, after his assumed acquaintance with such matters.
+
+"Even if Mr. Haldane is familiar with it," Mrs. Arnot replied,
+"Steibelt's Storm Rondo will bear repetition. Besides, his criticism may
+be helpful, since he can tell you wherein you come short of the skilled
+professionals."
+
+Laura caught the twinkle in her aunt's eye, and went to the piano.
+
+The young man saw at once that he had been caught in his own trap, for
+the music was utterly unfamiliar. The rondo was no wonderful piece of
+intricacy, such as a professional might choose. On the contrary, it was
+simple, and quite within the capabilities of a young and well-taught
+girl. But it was full of rich melody which even he, in his ignorance,
+could understand and appreciate, and yet, for aught that he knew it was
+difficult in the extreme.
+
+At first he had a decided sense of humiliation, and a consciousness that
+it was deserved. He had been talking largely and confidently of an art
+concerning which he knew little, and in which he began to think that his
+listener was quite well versed.
+
+But as the thought of the composer grew in power and beauty he forgot
+himself and his dilemma in his enjoyment. Two senses were finding
+abundant gratification at the same time, for it was a delight to listen,
+and it was even a greater pleasure to look at the performer.
+
+She gave him a quick, shy glance of observation, fearing somewhat that
+she might see severe judgment or else cool indifference in the
+expression of his face, and she was naturally pleased and encouraged
+when she saw, instead, undisguised admiration. His previous manner had
+annoyed her, and she determined to show him that his superior airs were
+quite uncalled for. Thus the diffident girl was led to surpass herself,
+and infuse so much spirit and grace into her playing as to surprise even
+her aunt.
+
+Haldane was soon satisfied that she was more than pretty--that she was
+beautiful. Her features, that had seemed too thin and colorless, flushed
+with excitement, and her blue eyes, which he had thought cold and
+expressionless, kindled until they became lustrous. He felt, in a way
+that he could not define to himself, that her face was full of power and
+mind, and that she was different from the pretty girls who had hitherto
+been his favorites.
+
+As she rose from the piano he was mastered by one of those impulses
+which often served him in the place of something better, and he said
+impetuously:
+
+"Miss Romeyn, I beg your pardon. You know a hundred-fold more about
+music than I do, and I have been talking as if the reverse were true. I
+never heard anything so fine in my life, and I also confess that I never
+heard that piece before."
+
+The young girl blushed with pleasure on having thus speedily vanquished
+this superior being, whom she had been learning both to dread and
+dislike. At the same time his frank, impulsive words of compliment did
+much to remove the prejudice which she was naturally forming against
+him. Mrs. Arnot said, with her mellow laugh, that often accomplished
+more than long homilies:
+
+"That is a manly speech, Egbert, and much to your credit. 'Honest
+confession is good for the soul.'"
+
+Haldane did not get on his stilts again that evening, and before it was
+over he concluded that Miss Romeyn was the most charming young lady he
+had ever met, though, for some reason, she still permitted him to do
+nearly all the talking. She bade him good-night, however, with a smile
+that was not unkindly, and which was interpreted by him as being
+singularly gracious.
+
+By this time he had concluded that Miss Romeyn was a "young lady _par
+excellence_"; but it has already been shown that his judgment in most
+matters was not to be trusted. Whether she was a school-girl or a fully
+fledged young lady, a child or a woman, might have kept a closer
+observer than himself much longer in doubt. In truth, she was scarcely
+the one or the other, and had many of the characteristics of both. His
+opinion of her was as incorrect as that of himself. He was not a man,
+though he considered himself a superior one, and had attained to manly
+proportions.
+
+But there were wide differences in their immaturity. She was forming
+under the guidance of a mother who blended firmness and judgment equally
+with love. Gentle blood was in her veins, and she had inherited many of
+her mother's traits with her beauty. Her parents, however, believed
+that, even as the garden of Eden needed to be "dressed and kept," so the
+nature of their child required careful pruning, with repression here and
+development there. While the young girl was far from being faultless,
+fine traits and tendencies dominated, and, though as yet undeveloped,
+they were unfolding with the naturalness and beauty of a budding flower.
+
+In Haldane's case evil traits were in the ascendant, and the best hope
+for him was that they as yet had not become confirmed.
+
+"Who is this Mr. Haldane, auntie?" Laura asked on reaching her room.
+There was a slight trace of vexation in her tone.
+
+"He is the son of an old friend of mine. I have induced my husband to
+try to give him a business education. You do not like him."
+
+"I did not like him at all at first, but he improves a little on
+acquaintance. Is he a fair sample of your young men proteges?"
+
+"He is the least promising of any of them," replied Mrs. Arnot, sitting
+down before the fire. Laura saw that her face had become shadowed with
+sadness and anxiety.
+
+"You look troubled, auntie. Is he the cause?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Are you very much interested in him?"
+
+"I am, Laura; very much, indeed. I cannot bear to give him up, and yet I
+fear I must."
+
+"Is he a very interesting 'case'?" asked the young girl in some
+surprise. "Mother often laughingly calls the young men you are trying to
+coax to be good by your winning ways, 'cases.' I don't know much about
+young men, but should suppose that you had many under treatment much
+more interesting than he is."
+
+"Sister Fanny is always laughing at my hobby, and saying that, since I
+have no children of my own, I try to adopt every young man who will give
+me a chance. Perhaps if I try to carry out your mother's figure, you
+will understand why I am so interested in this 'case.' If I were a
+physician and had charge of a good many patients, ought I not to be
+chiefly interested in those who were in the most critical and dangerous
+condition?"
+
+"It would be just like you to be so, auntie, and I would not mind being
+quite ill myself if I could have you to take care of me. I hope the
+young men whom you 'adopt' appreciate their privileges."
+
+"The trouble with most of us, Laura, is that we become wise too late in
+life. Young people are often their own worst enemies, and if you wish to
+do them good, you must do it, as it were, on the sly. If one tries
+openly to reform and guide them--if I should say plainly, Such and such
+are your faults; such and such places and associations are full of
+danger--they would be angry or disgusted, or they would say I was blue
+and strait-laced, and had an old woman's notions of what a man should
+be. I must coax them, as you say; I must disguise my medicines, and
+apply my remedies almost without their knowing it. I also find it true
+in my practice that tonics and good wholesome diet are better than all
+moral drugs. It seems to me that if I can bring around these giddy young
+fellows refining, steadying, purifying influences, I can do them more
+good than if I lectured them. The latter is the easier way, and many
+take it. It would require but a few minutes to tell this young Haldane
+what his wise safe course must be if he would avoid shipwreck; but I can
+see his face flush and lip curl at my homily. And yet for weeks I have
+been angling for him, and I fear to no purpose. Your uncle may discharge
+him any day. It makes me very sad to say it, but if he goes home I think
+he will also go to ruin. Thank God for your good, wise mother, Laura. It
+is a great thing to be started right in life."
+
+"Then this young man has been started wrong?
+
+"Yes, wrong indeed."
+
+"Is he so very bad, auntie?" Laura asked with a face full of serious
+concern.
+
+Mrs. Arnot smiled as she said, "If you were a young society chit, you
+might think him 'very nice,' as their slang goes. He is good-looking and
+rich, and his inclination to be fast would be a piquant fact in his
+favor. He has done things which would seem to you very wrong indeed. But
+he is foolish and ill-trained rather than bad. He is a spoiled boy, and
+spoiled boys are apt to become spoiled men. I have told you all this
+partly because, having been your mother's companion all your life, you
+are so old-fashioned that I can talk to you almost as I would to sister
+Fanny, and partly because I like to talk about my hobby."
+
+A young girl naturally has quick sympathies, and all the influences of
+Laura's life had been gentle and humane. Her aunt's words speedily led
+her to regard Haldane as an "interesting case," a sort of fever patient
+who was approaching the crisis of his disease. Curling down on the
+floor, and leaning her arms on her aunt's lap, she looked up with a face
+full of solicitude as she asked:
+
+"And don't you think you can save him? Please don't give up trying."
+
+"I like the expression of your face now," said Mrs. Arnot, stroking the
+abundant tresses, that were falling loosely from the girl's head, "for
+in it I catch a glimpse of the divine image. Many think of God as
+looking down angrily and frowningly upon the foolish and wayward; but I
+see in the solicitude of your face a faint reflection of the 'Not
+willing that any should perish' which it ever seems to me is the
+expression of His."
+
+"Laura," said she abruptly, after a moment, "did any one ever tell you
+that you were growing up very pretty?"
+
+"No, auntie," said the girl, blushing and laughing.
+
+"Mr. Haldane told you so this evening."
+
+"O auntie, you are mistaken; he could not have been so rude."
+
+"He did not make a set speech to that effect, my dear, but he told you
+so by his eyes and manner, only you are such an innocent home child that
+you did not notice. But when you go into society you will be told this
+fact so often that you will be compelled to heed it, and will soon learn
+the whole language of flattery, spoken and unspoken. Perhaps I had,
+better forewarn you a little, and so forearm you. What are you going to
+do with your beauty?"
+
+"Why, auntie, how funny you talk! What should I do with it, granting
+that it has any existence save in your fond eyes?"
+
+"Suppose you use it to make men better, instead of to make them merely
+admire you. One can't be a belle very long at best, and of all the
+querulous, discontented, and disagreeable people that I have met,
+superannuated belles, who could no longer obtain their revenue of
+flattery, were the worst. They were impoverished, indeed. If you do as I
+suggest, you will have much that is pleasant to think about when you
+come to be as old as I am. Perhaps you can do more for young Haldane
+than I can."
+
+"Now, auntie, what can I do?"
+
+"That which nearly all women can do: be kind and winning; make our safe,
+cosey parlor so attractive that he will not go out evenings to places
+which tend to destroy him. You feel an interest in him; show it. Ask him
+about his business, and get him to explain it to you. Suggest that if
+you were a man you would like to master your work, and become eminent in
+it. Show by your manner and by words, if occasion offers, that you love
+and revere all that is sacred, pure, and Christian. Laura, innocent dove
+as you are, you know that many women beguile men to ruin with smiles.
+Men can be beguiled from ruin with smiles. Indeed, I think multitudes
+are permitted to go to destruction because women are so unattractive, so
+absorbed in themselves and their nerves. If mothers and wives, maidens
+and old maids, would all commence playing the agreeable to the men of
+their household and circle, not for the sake of a few compliments, but
+for the purpose of luring them from evil and making them better, the
+world would improve at once."
+
+"I see, auntie," said Laura, laughing; "you wish to administer me as a
+sugar-coated pill to your 'difficult case.'"
+
+A deep sigh was the only answer, and, looking up, Laura saw that her
+words had not been heeded. Tears were in her aunt's eyes, and after a
+moment she said brokenly:
+
+"My theories seem true enough, and yet how signally I have failed in
+carrying them out! Perhaps it is my fault; perhaps it is my fault; but
+I've tried--oh! how I have tried! Laura, dear, you know that I am a
+lonely woman; but do not let this prejudice you against what I have
+said. Good-night, dear; I have kept you up too long after your journey."
+
+Her niece understood her allusion to the cold, unloving man who sat
+alone every evening in his dim library, thinking rarely of his wife, but
+often of her wealth, and how it might increase his leverage in his
+herculean labors. The young girl had the tact to reply only by a warm,
+lingering embrace. It was an old sorrow, of which she had long been
+aware; but it seemed without remedy, and was rarely touched upon.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+PASSION'S CLAMOR
+
+
+Laura had a strong affection for her aunt, and would naturally be
+inclined to gratify any wishes that she might express, even had they
+involved tasks uncongenial and unattractive. But the proposal that she
+should become an ally in the effort to lure young Haldane from his evil
+associations, and awaken within him pure and refined tastes, was
+decidedly attractive. She was peculiarly romantic in her disposition,
+and no rude contact with the commonplace, common-sense world had
+chastened her innocent fancies by harsh and disagreeable experience. Her
+Christian training and girlish simplicity lifted her above the ordinary
+romanticism of imagining herself the heroine in every instance, and the
+object and end of all masculine aspirations. On this occasion she simply
+desired to act the part of a humble assistant of Mrs. Arnot, whom she
+regarded as Haldane's good angel; and she was quite as disinterested in
+her hope for the young man's moral improvement as her aunt herself.
+
+The task, moreover, was doubly pleasing since she could perform it in a
+way that was so womanly and agreeable. She could scarcely have given
+Haldane a plain talk on the evils of fast living to save her life, but
+if she could keep young men from going to destruction by smiling upon
+them, by games of backgammon and by music, she felt in the mood to be a
+missionary all her life, especially if she could have so safe and
+attractive a field of labor as her aunt's back parlor.
+
+But the poor child would soon learn that perverse human nature is much
+the same in a drawing-room and a tenement-house, and that all who seek
+to improve it are doomed to meet much that is excessively annoying and
+discouraging.
+
+The simple-hearted girl no more foresaw what might result from her
+smiles than an ignorant child would anticipate the consequences of fire
+falling on grains of harmless-looking black sand. She had never seen
+passion kindling and flaming till it seemed like a scorching fire, and
+had not learned by experience that in some circumstances her smiles
+might be like incendiary sparks to powder.
+
+In seeking to manage her "difficult case," Mrs. Arnot should have
+foreseen the danger of employing such a fascinating young creature as
+her assistant; but in these matters the wisest often err, and only
+comprehend the evil after it has occurred. Laura was but a child in
+years, having passed her fifteenth birthday only a few months previous,
+and Haldane seemed to the lady scarcely more than a boy. She did not
+intend that her niece should manifest anything more than a little
+winning kindness and interest, barely enough to keep the young fellow
+from spending his evenings out she knew not where. He was at just the
+age when the glitter and tinsel of public amusements are most
+attractive. She believed that if she could familiarize his mind with the
+real gold and clear diamond flash of pure home pleasures, and those
+which are enjoyed in good society, he would eventually become disgusted
+with gilt, varnish, and paste. If Laura had been a very plain girl, she
+might have seconded Mrs. Arnot's efforts to the utmost without any
+unpleasant results, even if no good ones had followed; and it may well
+be doubted whether any of the latter would have ensued. Haldane's
+disease was too deeply rooted, and his tastes vitiated to such a degree
+that he had lost the power to relish long the simple enjoyments of Mrs.
+Arnot's parlor. He already craved the pleasures which first kindle and
+excite and then consume.
+
+Laura, however, was not plain and ordinary, and the smiles which were
+intended as innocent lures from snares, instead of into them, might make
+trouble for all concerned. Haldane was naturally combustible, to begin
+with, and was now at the most inflammable period of his life.
+
+The profoundest master of human nature portrayed to the world a Romeo
+and a Juliet, both mastered by a passion which but a few words and
+glances had kindled. There are many Romeos who do not find their Juliets
+so sympathetic and responsive, and they usually develop at about the age
+of Haldane. Indeed, nearly all young men of sanguine temperaments go
+through the Romeo stage, and they are fortunate if they pass it without
+doing anything especially ridiculous or disastrous. These sudden attacks
+are exceedingly absurd to older and cooler friends, but to the victims
+themselves they are tremendously real and tragic for the time being.
+More hearts are broken into indefinite fragments before twenty than ever
+after; but, like the broken bones of the young, they usually knit
+readily together again, and are just as good for all practical purposes.
+
+There was nothing unusual in the fact, therefore, that Haldane was soon
+deeply enamored with his new acquaintance. It was true that Laura had
+given him the mildest and most innocent kind of encouragement--and the
+result would probably have been the same if she had given him none at
+all--but his vanity, and what he chose to regard as his "undying love,"
+interpreted all her actions, and gave volumes of meaning to a kindly
+glance or a pleasant word. Indeed, before there had been time to carry
+out, to any extent, the tactics her aunt had proposed, symptoms of his
+malady appeared. While she was regarding him merely as one of her aunt's
+"cases," and a very hard one at best, and thought of herself as trying
+to help a little, as a child might hold a bandage or a medicine phial
+for experienced hands, he, on the contrary, had begun to mutter to
+himself that she was "the divinest woman God ever fashioned."
+
+There was now no trouble about his spending evenings elsewhere, and the
+maiden was perplexed and annoyed at finding her winning ways far too
+successful, and that the one she barely hoped to keep from the
+vague--and to her mind, horrible--places of temptation, was becoming as
+adhesive as sticking-plaster. If she smiled, he smiled and ogled far too
+much in return. If she chatted with one and another of the young men who
+found Mrs. Arnot's parlor the most attractive place open to them in the
+town, he would assume a manner designed to be darkly tragical, but which
+to the young girl had more the appearance of sulking.
+
+She was not so much of a child as to be unable to comprehend Haldane's
+symptoms, and she was sufficiently a woman not to be excessively angry.
+And yet she was greatly annoyed and perplexed. At times his action
+seemed so absurd that she was glad to escape to her room, that she might
+give way to her merriment; and again he would appear so much in earnest
+that she was quite as inclined to cry and to think seriously of bringing
+her visit to an abrupt termination.
+
+While under Mrs. Arnot's eye Haldane was distant and circumspect, but
+the moment he was alone with Laura his manner became unmistakably
+demonstrative.
+
+At first she was disposed to tell her aunt all about the young man's
+sentimental manner, but the fact that it seemed so ridiculous deterred
+her. She still regarded herself as a child, and that any one should be
+seriously in love with her after but a few days' acquaintance seemed
+absurdity itself. Her aunt might think her very vain for even imagining
+such a thing, and, perhaps, after all it was only her own imagination.
+
+"Mr. Haldane has acted queerly from the first," she concluded, "and the
+best thing I can do is to think no more about him, and let auntie manage
+her 'difficult case' without me. If I am to help in these matters, I had
+better commence with a 'case' that is not so 'difficult.'"
+
+She therefore sought to avoid the young man, and prove by her manner
+that she was utterly indifferent to him, hoping that this course would
+speedily cure him of his folly. She would venture into the parlor only
+when her aunt or guests were there, and would then try to make herself
+generally agreeable, without an apparent thought for him.
+
+While she assured herself that she did not like him, and that he was in
+no respect a person to be admired and liked, she still found herself
+thinking about him quite often. He was her first recognized lover.
+Indeed, few had found opportunity to give more than admiring glances to
+the little nun, who thus far had been secluded almost continuously in
+the safest of all cloisters--a country home. It was a decided novelty
+that a young man, almost six feet in height, should be looking
+unutterable things in her direction whenever she was present. She wished
+he wouldn't, but since he would, she could not help thinking about him,
+and how she could manage to make him "behave sensibly."
+
+She did not maintain her air of indifference very perfectly, however,
+for she had never been schooled by experience, and was acting solely on
+the intuitions of her sex. She could not forbear giving a quick glance
+occasionally to see how he was taking his lesson. At times he was
+scowling and angry, and then she could maintain her part without
+difficulty; again he would look so miserable that, out of pity, she
+would relent into a half smile, but immediately reproach herself for
+being "so foolish."
+
+Haldane's manner soon attracted Mrs. Arnot's attention, notwithstanding
+his effort to disguise from her his feeling and a little observation on
+the part of the experienced matron enabled her to guess how matters
+stood. While Mrs. Arnot was perplexed and provoked by this new
+complication in Haldane's case, she was too kindly in her nature not to
+feel sorry for him. She was also so well versed in human nature as to be
+aware that she could not sit down and coolly talk him out of his folly.
+
+Besides it was not necessarily folly. The youth was but following a law
+of nature, and following it, too, in much the same manner as had his
+fathers before him since the beginning of time. There would not be any
+thing essentially wrong in an attachment between these young people, if
+it sprang up naturally; only it would be necessary to impress upon them
+the fact that they were _young_, and that for years to come their
+minds should be largely occupied with other matters. Haldane certainly
+would not have been her choice for Laura, but if a strong attachment
+became the means of steadying him and of inciting to the formation of a
+fine character, all might be well in the end. She was morbidly anxious,
+however, that her niece should not meet with any such disappointment in
+life as had fallen to her lot, and should the current of the young
+girl's affection tend steadily in his direction she would deeply regret
+the fact.
+
+She would regret exceedingly, also, to have the young girl's mind
+occupied by thoughts of such a nature for years to come. Her education
+was unfinished; she was very immature, and should not make so important
+a choice until she had seen much more of society, and time had been
+given for the formation of her tastes and character.
+
+Mrs. Arnot soon concluded that it would be wiser to prevent trouble than
+to remedy it, and that Laura had better return speedily to the safe
+asylum of her own home. She could then suggest to Haldane that if he
+hoped to win the maiden in after years he must form a character worthy
+of her.
+
+Had she carried out her plan that day all might have turned out
+differently, but the advanced in life are prone to forget the
+impetuosity of youth. Haldane was already ripe for a declaration, or,
+more properly, an explosion of his pent-up feelings, and was only
+awaiting an opportunity to insist upon his own acceptance. He was so
+possessed and absorbed by his emotions that he felt sure they would
+sweep away all obstacles. He imagined himself pleading his cause in a
+way that would melt a marble heart; and both vanity and hope had
+whispered that Laura was a shy maiden, secretly responsive to his
+passion, and only awaiting his frank avowal before showing her own
+heart. Else why had she been so kind at first? Having won his love, was
+she not seeking now to goad him on to its utterance by a sudden change
+of manner?
+
+Thus he reasoned, as have many others equally blind.
+
+On becoming aware of Haldane's passion, Mrs. Arnot resolved to
+sedulously guard her niece, and prevent any premature and disagreeable
+scenes. She was not long in discovering that the feeling, as yet, was
+all on the young man's side, and believed that by a little adroitness
+she could manage the affair so that no harm would result to either
+party.
+
+But on the day following the one during which she had arrived at the
+above conclusions she felt quite indisposed, and while at dinner was
+obliged to succumb to one of her nervous headaches. Before retiring to
+her private room she directed the waitress to say to such of her young
+friends as might call that she was too ill to see them.
+
+Haldane's expressions of sympathy were hollow, indeed, for he hoped
+that, as a result of her indisposition, he would have Laura all to
+himself that evening. With an insinuating smile he said to the young
+girl, after her aunt had left the table:
+
+"I shall expect you to be very agreeable this evening, to compensate me
+for Mrs. Arnot's absence."
+
+Laura blushed vividly, and was provoked with herself that she did so,
+but she replied quietly:
+
+"You must excuse me this evening, Mr. Haldane; I am sure my aunt will
+need me."
+
+His smile was succeeded by a sudden frown; but, as Mr. Arnot was at the
+table, he said, with assumed carelessness:
+
+"Then I will go out and try to find amusement elsewhere."
+
+"It might be well, young man," said Mr. Arnot austerely, "to seek for
+something else than amusement. When I was at your age I so invested my
+evenings that they now tell in my business."
+
+"I am willing to invest this evening in a way to make it tell upon my
+future," replied Haldane, with a meaning glance at Laura.
+
+Mr. Arnot observed this glance and the blushing face of his niece, and
+drew his own conclusions; but he only said dryly:
+
+"That remark is about as inexplicable as some of your performances at
+the office of late."
+
+Laura soon after excused herself and sought a refuge in her aunt's room,
+which, being darkened, prevented the lady from seeing her burning cheeks
+and general air of vexation and disquiet. Were it not for Mrs. Arnot's
+suffering condition and need of rest, Laura would then have told her of
+her trouble and asked permission to return home, and she determined to
+do this at the first opportunity. Now, however, she unselfishly forgot
+herself in her effort to alleviate her aunt's distress. With a strong
+sense of relief she heard Haldane go out, slamming the front door after
+him.
+
+"Was there ever such an absurd fellow!" thought she; "he has made
+himself disagreeable ever since I came, with his superior airs, as if he
+knew everything, when, in fact, he doesn't know anything well, not even
+good manners. He acts as if I belonged to him and had no right to any
+will or wishes of my own. If he can't take the hints that I have given
+he must be as stupid and blind as an owl. In spite of all that I can do
+or say he seems to think that I only want an opportunity to show the
+same ridiculous feeling that makes him appear like a simpleton. If I
+were a young lady in society I should detest a man who took it for
+granted that I would fall in love with him."
+
+With like indignant musings she beguiled the time, wondering
+occasionally why her aunt did not ask her to go down and entertain the
+object of her dread, but secretly thankful that she did not.
+
+At last Mrs. Arnot said:
+
+"Mr. Haldane went out, did he not?"
+
+"Yes, auntie, some time ago."
+
+"I left my other bottle of smelling-salts in the parlor. I think it is
+stronger than this. Would you mind getting it for me? It's on the
+mantel."
+
+Laura had no difficulty in finding it in the somewhat dimly-lighted
+drawing-room, but as she turned to leave the apartment she saw Haldane
+between her and the door.
+
+Before he had reached any of his garish haunts he had felt such an utter
+distaste for them in his present mood that he returned. He was conscious
+of the impulse merely to be near the object of his thoughts, and also
+hoped that by some fortunate chance he might still be able to find her
+alone. That his return might be unnoted, he had quietly entered a side
+door, and was waiting and watching for just such an opportunity as Mrs.
+Arnot had unwittingly occasioned.
+
+Laura tried to brush past, but he intercepted her, and said:
+
+"No, Miss Laura, not till you hear me. You have my destiny in your
+hands."
+
+"I haven't anything of the kind," she answered, in tones of strong
+vexation. Guided by instinct, she resolved to be as prosaic and
+matter-of-fact as possible; so she added: "I have only aunt's
+smelling-salts in my hands, and she needs them."
+
+"I need _you_ far more than Mrs. Arnot needs her smelling-salts,"
+he said tragically.
+
+"Mr. Haldane, such talk is very absurd," she replied, half ready to cry
+from nervousness and annoyance.
+
+"It is not absurd. How can you trifle with the deepest and holiest
+feelings that a man--of which a man--feels?" he retorted passionately,
+and growing a little incoherent.
+
+"I don't know anything about such feelings, and therefore cannot trifle
+with them."
+
+"What did your blushes mean this evening? You cannot deceive me; I have
+seen the world and know it."
+
+"I am not the world. I am only a school-girl, and if you had good sense
+you would not talk so to me. You appear to think that I must feel and do
+as you wish. What right have you to act so?"
+
+"The truest and strongest right. You know well that I love you with my
+whole soul. I have given you my heart--all there is of me. Have I not a
+right to ask your love in return?"
+
+Laura was conscious of a strange thrill as she heard these passionate
+words, for they appeared to echo in a depth of her nature of which she
+had not been conscious before.
+
+The strong and undoubting assurance which possessed him carried for a
+moment a strange mastery over her mind. As he so vehemently asserted the
+only claim which a man can urge, her woman's soul trembled, and for a
+moment she felt almost powerless to resist. His unreserved giving
+appeared to require that he should receive also. She would have soon
+realized, however, that Haldane's attitude was essentially that of an
+Oriental lover, who, in his strongest attachments, is ever prone to
+maintain the imperative mood, and to consult his own heart rather than
+that of the woman he loves. While in Laura's nature there was unusual
+gentleness and a tendency to respect and admire virile force, she was
+too highly bred in our Western civilization not to resent as an insult
+any such manifestation of this force as would make the quest of her love
+a demand rather than a suit, after once recognizing such a spirit. She
+was now confused, however, and after an awkward moment said:
+
+"I have not asked or wished you to give me so much. I don't think you
+realize what you are saying. If you would only remember that I am
+scarcely more than a child you would not talk so foolishly. Please let
+me go to my aunt."
+
+"No, not till you give me some hope. Your blushes prove that you are a
+woman."
+
+"They prove that I am excessively annoyed and vexed."
+
+"Oh, Laura, after raising so many hopes you cannot--you cannot----"
+
+"I haven't meant to raise any hopes."
+
+"Why were you so kind to me at first?"
+
+"Well, if you must know, my aunt wished me to be. If I had dreamed you
+would act so I would not have spoken to you."
+
+"What motive could Mrs. Arnot have had for such a request?"
+
+"I will tell you, and when you know the whole truth you will see how
+mistaken you are, and how greatly you wrong me. Aunt wanted me to help
+her keep you home evenings, and away from all sorts of horrid places to
+which you were fond of going."
+
+These words gave Haldane a cue which he at once followed, and he said
+eagerly:
+
+"If you will be my wife, I will do anything you wish. I will make myself
+good, great, and renowned for your sake. Your smiles will keep me from
+every temptation. But I warn you that if you cast me off--if you trifle
+with me--I shall become a reckless man. I shall be ruined. My only
+impulse will be self-destruction."
+
+Laura was now thoroughly incensed, and she said indignantly:
+
+"Mr. Haldane, I should think you would be ashamed to talk in that
+manner. It's the same as if a spoiled boy should say: If you don't give
+me what I wish, right or wrong, I will do something dreadful. If I ever
+do love a man, it will be one that I can look up to and respect, and not
+one who must be coaxed and bribed to give up disgusting vices. If you do
+not open that door I will call uncle."
+
+The door opened, and Mr. Arnot entered with a heavy frown upon his brow.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+"GLOOMY GRANDEUR"
+
+
+Mr. Arnot's library was on the side of the hall opposite to the
+drawing-room. Though he had been deeply intent upon his writing, he at
+last became conscious that there were some persons in the parlor who
+were talking in an unusual manner, and he soon distinguished the voice
+of his niece. Haldane's words, manner, and glances at the dinner-table
+at once recurred to him, and stepping silently to the drawing-room door,
+he heard the latter part of the colloquy narrated in the previous
+chapter. He was both amused and angry, and while relieved to find that
+his niece was indulging in no "sentimental nonsense," he had not a
+particle of sympathy or charity for Haldane, and he determined to give
+the young man a "lesson that would not soon be forgotten."
+
+"What is the meaning of this ridiculous scene?" he demanded sternly.
+"What have you been saying to this child?"
+
+Haldane at first had been much abashed by the entrance of his employer;
+but his tone and manner stung the young fellow into instant anger, and
+he replied haughtily:
+
+"She is not a child, and what I have said concerns Miss Romeyn only."
+
+"Ah, indeed! I have no right to protect my niece in my own house!"
+
+"My intentions toward Miss Romeyn are entirely honorable, and there is
+no occasion for protection."
+
+Reassured by her uncle's presence, Laura's nervous apprehension began to
+give place to something like pity for the youth, who had assumed an
+attitude befitting high tragedy, and toward whom she felt that she had
+been a little harsh. Now that he was confronted by one who was disposed
+to be still more harsh, womanlike, she was inclined to take his part.
+She would be sorry to have him come to an open rupture with his employer
+on her account, so she said eagerly:
+
+"Please, uncle, do me the favor of letting the whole matter drop. Mr.
+Haldane has seen his mistake by this time. I am going home to-morrow,
+and the affair is too absurd to make any one any more trouble."
+
+Before he could answer, Mrs. Arnot, hearing their voices, and surmising
+the trouble which she had hoped to prevent, now appeared also, and by
+her good sense and tact brought the disagreeable scene to a speedy
+close.
+
+"Laura, my dear," she said quietly, "go up to my room, and I will join
+you there soon." The young girl gladly obeyed.
+
+There were times when Mrs. Arnot controlled her strong-willed husband in
+a manner that seemed scarcely to be reconciled with his dictatorial
+habits. This fact might be explained in part by her wealth, of which he
+had the use, but which she still controlled, but more truly by her
+innate superiority, which ever gives supremacy to the nobler and
+stronger mind when aroused.
+
+Mr. Arnot had become suddenly and vindictively angry with his clerk,
+who, instead of being overwhelmed with awe and shame at his unexpected
+appearance, was haughty and even defiant. One of the strongest impulses
+of this man was to crush out of those in his employ a spirit of
+independence and individual self-assertion. The idea of a part of his
+business machinery making such a jarring tumult in his own house! He
+proposed to instantly cast away the cause of friction, and insert a more
+stolid human cog-wheel in Haldane's place.
+
+But when his wife said, in a tone which she rarely used:
+
+"Mr. Arnot, before anything further is said upon this matter, I would
+like to see you in your library"--he followed her without a word.
+
+Before the library door closed, however, he could not forbear snarling.
+
+"I told you that your having this big spoiled boy as an inmate of the
+house would not work well."
+
+"He has been offering himself to Laura, has he not?" she said quietly.
+
+"I suppose that is the way in which you would explain his absurd,
+maudlin words. A pitiful offer it was, which she, like a sensible girl,
+declined without thanks."
+
+"What course do you propose to take toward Haldane?"
+
+"I was on the point of sending him home to his mother, and of suggesting
+that he remain with her till he becomes something more than a fast,
+foolish boy. As yet I see no reason for acting differently."
+
+"On just what grounds do you propose to discharge him?"
+
+"Has he not given sufficient cause this evening in his persecution of
+Laura and his impudence to me?"
+
+"Thomas, you forget that while young Haldane is your clerk, he enjoys a
+social position quite equal to that which a son of ours would possess,
+did we have one. Though his course toward Laura has been crude and
+boyish, I have yet to learn that there has been anything dishonorable.
+Laura is to us a child; to him she seems a very pretty and attractive
+girl, and his sudden passion for her is, perhaps, one of the most
+natural things in the world. Besides, an affair of this kind should be
+managed quietly and wisely, and not with answering passion. You are
+angry now; you will see that I am right in the morning. At all events,
+the name of this innocent girl, my sister's child, must not be bandied
+about in the gossip of the town. Among young men Haldane passes for a
+young man. Do you wish to have it the town talk that he has been
+discharged because he ventured to compliment your niece with the offer
+of his hand? That he has been premature and rash is chiefly the fault of
+his years and temperament; but no serious trouble need follow unless we
+make it ourselves. Laura will return home in a day or two, and if the
+young fellow is dealt with wisely and kindly, this episode may do much
+toward making a sensible man of him. If you abruptly discharge him,
+people will imagine tenfold more than has occurred, and they may surmise
+positive evil."
+
+"Well, well, have it your own way," said her husband impatiently. "Of
+course, I do not wish that Laura should become the theme of scandal. But
+as for this young firebrand of a Haldane, there must be a decided change
+in him. I cannot bother with him much longer."
+
+"I think I can manage him. At any rate, please make no change that can
+seem connected with this affair. If you would also exercise a little
+kindness and forbearance, I do not think you would ever have cause to
+regret it."
+
+"My office is not an asylum for incapables, lovesick swains, and fast
+boys. It's a place of business, and if young Haldane can't realize this,
+there are plenty who can."
+
+"As a favor to me, I will ask you to bear with him as long as possible.
+Can you not send him to your factory near New York on some errand? New
+scenes will divert his thoughts, and sudden and acute attacks, like his,
+usually do not last very long."
+
+"Well, well, I'll see."
+
+Mrs. Arnot returned to the parlor, but Haldane was no longer there. She
+went to his room, but, though he was within, she could obtain no
+response to her knocking, or to the kind tone in which she spoke his
+name. She sighed, but thought that perhaps he would be calmer and more
+open to reason on the morrow, and, therefore, returned to her own
+apartment. Indeed, she was glad to do so, for in her ill and suffering
+condition the strain had already been too great.
+
+She found Laura tearful and troubled, and could not do less than listen
+to her story.
+
+"Do you think I have done anything wrong, auntie?" asked the girl in
+deep anxiety.
+
+"No, dear, I think you have acted very sensibly. I wish I could have
+foreseen the trouble sooner, and saved you both from a disagreeable
+experience."
+
+"But uncle won't discharge Mr. Haldane on my account, will he?" she
+continued with almost equal solicitude.
+
+"Certainly not. Egbert has not done anything that should cause his
+dismissal. I think that the only result will be to teach you both that
+these are matters which should be left to future years."
+
+"I'm glad they are distant, for I had no idea that love affairs were so
+intensely disagreeable."
+
+Her aunt smiled, and after a little time the young girl departed to her
+rest quite comforted and reassured.
+
+The next morning Mrs. Arnot was too ill to appear at breakfast, and her
+niece would not venture down alone. Haldane and his employer sat down
+together in grim silence, and, after a cup of coffee only, the former
+abruptly excused himself and went to the office.
+
+As might have been expected, the young man had passed a restless night,
+during which all sorts of rash, wild purposes surged through his mind.
+At first he meditated hiding his grief and humiliation in some "far
+distant clime"; but the thought occurred to him after a little time that
+this would be spiting himself more than any one else. His next impulse
+was to leave the house of his "insulting employer" forever; but as he
+was about to depart, he remembered that he happened to have scarcely a
+dollar in his pocket, and therefore concluded to wait till he had drawn
+his pay, or could write to his mother for funds. Then, as his anger
+subsided, a sense of loss and disappointment overwhelmed him, and for a
+long time he sobbed like a brokenhearted child. After this natural
+expression of grief he felt better, and became able to think
+connectedly. He finally resolved that he would become "famous," and rise
+in "gloomy grandeur" till he towered far above his fellow men. He would
+pierce this obdurate maiden's heart with poignant but unavailing regret
+that she had missed the one great opportunity of her life. He gave but
+slight and vague consideration to the methods by which he would achieve
+the renown which would overshadow Laura's life; but, having resolutely
+adopted the purpose with a few tragic gestures and some obscure
+fragmentary utterances, he felt consoled and was able to obtain a little
+sleep.
+
+The routine duties at the office on the following day did not promise
+very much, but he went through them in a kind of grim, vindictive
+manner, as if resolving to set his foot on all obstacles. He would
+"suffer in silence and give no sign" till the hour came when he could
+flash out upon the world. But as the day declined, he found the _role_
+of "gloomy grandeur" rather heavy, and he became conscious of the fact
+that he had scarcely eaten anything for nearly twenty-four hours.
+Another impulse began to make itself felt--that of fulfilling his
+threat and torturing Miss Romeyn by going to ruin. With alluring
+seductiveness the thought insinuated itself into his mind that one of
+the first steps in the tragedy might be a game and wine supper, and his
+growing hunger made this mode of revenge more attractive than cold and
+austere ambition.
+
+But Laura's words concerning "disgusting vices" recurred to him with all
+and more than their first stinging plainness, and he put the impulse
+away with a gesture and tragic expression of face that struck a sere and
+withered bookkeeper, who happened at that moment to look up, as so queer
+that he feared the young man was becoming demented.
+
+Haldane concluded--and with some reason in view of Laura's romantic
+nature--that only a career of gloomy grandeur and high renown would
+impress the maiden whom yesterday he proposed to make happy forever, but
+to-day to blight with regret like a "worm i' the bud." He already had a
+vague presentiment that such a _role_ would often mortify his tastes and
+inclinations most dismally; and yet, what had he henceforth to do with
+pleasure? But if, after he had practiced the austerity of an anchorite,
+she should forget him, marry another, and be happy! The thought was
+excruciating. O, that awful "another"! He is the fiend that drags
+disappointed lovers down to the lowest depth of their tortures. If Laura
+had had a previous favorite, Haldane would have been most happy to have
+her meet "another" in himself; but now this vague but surely coming
+rival of the future sent alternately cold chills and molten fire through
+his veins.
+
+He was awakened from such painful reveries by a summons to his
+employer's private office.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+BIRDS OF PREY
+
+
+Mr. Arnot in his widely extended business owned several factories, and
+in the vicinity of one, located at a suburb of New York, there were no
+banking facilities. It was, therefore, his custom at stated times to
+draw from his bank at Hillaton such amounts in currency as were needed
+to pay those in his employ at the place indicated, and send the money
+thither by one of his clerks. Upon the present occasion, in compliance
+with his wife's request, he decided to send Haldane. He had no
+hesitation in doing this, as the errand was one that required nothing
+more than honesty and a little prudence.
+
+"Mr. Haldane," said his employer, in tones somewhat less cold and formal
+than those habitual with him, "we will let bygones be bygones. I am
+inclined to think that hereafter you will be disposed to give your
+thoughts more fully to business, as a man should who proposes to amount
+to anything in the world. In these envelopes are one thousand dollars in
+currency. I wish you to place them securely in your breast-pockets, and
+take the five-thirty train to New York, and from thence early to-morrow
+go out on the Long Island road to a little station called Arnotville,
+and give these packages to Mr. Black, the agent in charge of my factory
+there. Take his receipt, and report to me to-morrow evening. With that
+amount of money upon your person you will perceive the necessity of
+prudence and care. Here is a check paying your salary for the past
+month. The cashier will give you currency for it. Report your expenses
+on your return, and they will be paid. As the time is limited, perhaps
+you can get some lunch at or near the depot."
+
+"I prefer to do so," said Haldane, promptly, "and will try to perform
+the business to your satisfaction."
+
+Mr. Arnot nodded a cool dismissal, and Haldane started for a
+hotel-restaurant near the depot with a step entirely too quick and
+elastic for one who must walk henceforth in the shadow of "bitter
+memories and dark disappointment." The exercise brought color to his
+cheek, and there certainly was a sparkle in his dark eyes. It could not
+be hope, for he had assured himself again and again that "hope was dead
+in his heart." It might have been caused after his long fast by the
+anticipation of a lunch at the depot and a _petit souper_ in the
+city, and the thought of washing both down with a glass of wine, or
+possibly with several. The relish and complacency with which his mind
+dwelt on this prospect struck Haldane as rather incongruous in a being
+as blighted as he supposed himself to be. With his youth, health, and
+unusually good digestion he would find no little difficulty in carrying
+out the "gloomy grandeur" scheme, and he began to grow conscious of the
+fact.
+
+Indeed, in response to a law of nature, he was already inclined to react
+from his unwonted depression into reckless hilarity. Impulse and
+inclination were his controlling forces, and he was accustomed to give
+himself up to them without much effort at self-restraint. And yet he
+sought to imagine himself consistent, so that he could maintain his
+self-approval.
+
+"I will hide my despair with laughter," he muttered; "the world cannot
+know that it is hollow, and but a mask against its vulgar curiosity."
+
+A good cold lunch and a cup of coffee--which he could have obtained at
+once at the hotel near the depot--would not answer for this victim of
+despair. Some extra delicacies, which required time for preparation,
+were ordered. In the meantime he went to the bar for an "appetizer," as
+he termed it. Here he met an acquaintance among the loungers present,
+and, of course, asked him to take a social glass also. This personage
+complied in a manner peculiarly felicitous, and in such a way as to give
+the impression that his acceptance of the courtesy was a compliment to
+Haldane. Much practice had made him perfect in this art, and the number
+of drinks that he was able to secure gratis in the course of a year by
+being always on hand and by maintaining an air of slight superiority,
+combined with an appearance of _bonhomie_ and readiness to be social,
+would have made a remarkable sum total.
+
+Before their glasses clinked together he said, with the off-handed
+courtesy indigenous to bar-rooms, where acquaintances are made with so
+little trouble and ceremony:
+
+"Mr. Haldane, my friends from New York, Mr. Van Wink and Mr. Ketchem."
+
+Haldane turned and saw two young men standing conveniently near, who
+were dressed faultlessly in the style of the day. There was nothing in
+their appearance to indicate that they did not reside on Fifth Avenue,
+and, indeed, they may have had rooms on that fashionable street.
+
+Messrs. Van Wink and Ketchem had also a certain air of superiority, and
+they shook hands with Haldane in a way that implied:
+
+"While we are metropolitan men, we recognize in you an extraordinarily
+fine specimen of the provincial." And the young man was not indifferent
+to their unspoken flattery. He at once invited them also to state to the
+smirking bartender their preferences among the liquid compounds before
+them, and soon four glasses clinked together.
+
+With fine and thoughtful courtesy they had chosen the same mixture that
+he had ordered for himself, and surely some of the milk of human
+kindness must have been infused in the punches which they imbibed, for
+Messrs. Van Wink and Ketchem seemed to grow very friendly toward
+Haldane. Perhaps taking a drink with a man inspired these worthies with
+a regard for him similar to that which the social eating of bread
+creates within the breasts of Bedouins, who, as travellers assert, will
+protect with their lives a stranger that has sat at their board; but rob
+and murder, as a matter of course, all who have not enjoyed that
+distinction. Whatever may have been the cause, the stylish men from the
+city were evidently pleased with Haldane, and they delicately suggested
+that he was such an unusually clever fellow that they were willing to
+know him better.
+
+"I assure you, Mr. Haldane," protested Mr. Van Wink, "our meeting is an
+unexpected pleasure. Having completed our business in town, time was
+hanging heavily on our hands, and it is still a full half-hour before
+the train leaves."
+
+"Let us drink again to further acquaintance," said Mr. Ketchem
+cordially, evincing a decided disposition to be friendly; "Mr. Haldane
+is in New York occasionally, and we would be glad to meet him and help
+him pass a pleasant hour there, as he is enlivening the present hour for
+us."
+
+Haldane was not cautious by nature, and had been predisposed by training
+to regard all flattering attention and interest as due to the favorable
+impression which he supposed himself to make invariably upon those whose
+judgment was worth anything. It is true there had been one marked and
+humiliating exception. But the consoling thought now flashed into his
+mind that, perhaps, Miss Romeyn was, as she asserted, but a mere
+"child," and incapable of appreciating him. The influence of the punch
+he had drank and the immediate and friendly interest manifested by these
+gentlemen who knew the world, gave a plausible coloring to this
+explanation of her conduct. After all, was he not judging her too
+harshly? She had not realized whom she had refused, and when she grew up
+in mind as well as in form she might be glad to act very differently.
+"But I may choose to act differently also," was his haughty mental
+conclusion.
+
+This self-communion took place while the still smirking bartender was
+mixing the decoctions ordered by the cordial and generous Mr. Ketchem. A
+moment later four glasses clinked together, and Haldane's first
+acquaintance--the young man with the air of slight but urbane
+superiority--felicitated himself that he had "made two free drinks"
+within a brief space of time.
+
+The effect of the liquor upon Haldane after his long fast was far
+greater than if it had been taken after a hearty meal, and he began to
+reciprocate the friendliness of the strangers with increasing interest.
+
+"Gentlemen," said he, "our meeting is one of those fortunate incidents
+which promise much more pleasure to come. I have ordered a little lunch
+in the dining-room. It will take but a moment for the waiters to add
+enough for three more, and then we will ride into the city together, for
+my business takes me there this evening also."
+
+"I declare," exclaimed Mr. Van Wink in a tone of self-gratulation, "were
+I piously inclined I should be tempted to call our meeting quite
+providential. But if we lunch with you it must be on condition that you
+take a little supper with us at the Brunswick after we arrive in town."
+
+"No one could object to such agreeable terms," cried Haldane; "come, let
+us adjourn to the dining-room. By the way, Mr. Bartender, send us a
+bottle of your best claret."
+
+The young man who an hour before had regarded himself as cruelly
+blighted for life, was quite successful in "hiding his despair with
+laughter." Indeed, from its loudness and frequency, undue exhilaration
+was suggested rather than a "secret sorrow." It gave him a fine sense of
+power and of his manly estate to see the waiters bustling around at his
+bidding, and to remember that he was the host of three gentlemen, who,
+while very superior in style, and evidently possessed of wealth, still
+recognized in him an equal with whom they were glad to spend a social
+hour.
+
+Scarcely ever before had he met any one who appreciated him as fully as
+did Messrs. Van Wink and Ketchem, and their courteous deference
+confirmed a view which he had long held, that only in the large sphere
+of the metropolis could he find his true level and most congenial
+companionships. These young men had a style about them which provincials
+could not imitate. Even the superior gentleman who introduced them to
+him had a slightly dimmed and tarnished appearance as he sat beside his
+friends. There was an immaculate finish and newness about all their
+appointments--not a speck upon their linen, nor a grain of dust upon
+their broadcloth and polished boots. If the theory be true that
+character is shown in dress, these men, outwardly so spotless, must be
+worthy of the confidence with which they had inspired their new
+acquaintance. They suggested two bright coins just struck from the mint,
+and "They have the ring of true metal," thought Haldane.
+
+It seemed to the young men that they had just fairly commenced to enjoy
+their lunch, when a prolonged shriek of a locomotive, dying away in the
+distance, awakened them to a sense of the flight of time. Hastily
+pulling out his watch, Haldane exclaimed with an oath:
+
+"There goes our train."
+
+Messrs. Van Wink and Ketchem were apparently much concerned.
+
+"Haldane," they exclaimed, "you are much too entertaining a fellow for
+one to meet when there's a train to be caught."
+
+"This is a serious matter for me," said Haldane, somewhat sobered by the
+thought of Mr. Arnot's wrath; "I had important business in town."
+
+"Can it not be arranged by telegraph?" asked Mr. Van Wink in a tone of
+kindly solicitude.
+
+"One can't send money by telegraph. No; I must go myself."
+
+The eyes of Haldane's three guests met for a second in a way that
+indicated the confirmnation of something in their minds, and yet so
+evanescent was this glance of intelligence that a cool, close observer
+would scarcely have detected it, much less their flushed and excited
+host.
+
+"Don't worry, Haldane," said his first acquaintance; "there is an
+owl-train along at eleven to-night, and you can mail your check or draft
+on that if you do not care to travel at such an unearthly hour."
+
+"Oh, there is a late train!" cried the young man, much relieved. "Then
+I'm all right. I am obliged to go myself, as the funds I carry are in
+such a shape that I cannot mail them."
+
+Again the eyes of his guests met with a furtive gleam of satisfaction.
+
+Now that Haldane felt himself safely out of his dilemma, he began to be
+solicitous about his companions.
+
+"I fear," he said, "that my poor courtesy can make but small amends for
+the loss of your train."
+
+"Well, Haldane," said Mr. Ketchem, with great apparent candor, "I speak
+for myself when I say that I would regret losing this train under most
+circumstances, but with the prospect of a social evening together I can
+scarcely say that I do."
+
+"I, too," cried Mr. Van Wink, "am inclined to regard our loss of the
+train as a happy freak of fortune. Let us take the owl-train, also,
+Ketchem, and make a jovial night of it with Mr. Haldane."
+
+"Fill up your glasses, and we'll drink to a jolly night," cried Haldane,
+and all complied with wonderful zest and unanimity. The host, however,
+was too excited and preoccupied to note that while Mr. Van Wink and Mr.
+Ketchem were always ready to have their glasses filled, they never
+drained them very low; and thus it happened that he and the slightly
+superior gentleman who made free drinks one of the chief objects of
+existence shared most of the bottle of wine between them.
+
+As the young men rose from the lunch table Haldane called this
+individual aside, and said:
+
+"Harker, I want you to help a fellow out of a scrape. You must know that
+I was expected to leave town on the five-thirty train. I do not care to
+be seen in the public rooms, for old cast-iron Arnot might make a row
+about my delay, even though it will make no difference in his business.
+Please engage a private room, where we can have a bottle of wine and a
+quiet game of cards, and no one be the wiser."
+
+"Certainly--nothing easier in the world--I know just the
+room--cosey--off one side--wait a moment, gentlemen."
+
+It seemed but a moment before he returned and led them, preceded by a
+bell-boy, to just such an apartment as he had described. Though the
+evening was mild, a fire was lighted in the grate, and as it kindled it
+combined with the other appointments to give the apartment an air of
+luxurious comfort.
+
+"Bring us a bottle of sherry," said Haldane to the bell-boy.
+
+"Also a pack of cards, some fine old brandy and cigars, and charge to
+me," said Mr. Ketchem; "I wish to have my part in this entertainment.
+Come, Harker, take a seat."
+
+"Desperately sorry I can't spend the evening with you," said this
+sagacious personage, who realized with extreme regret that not even for
+the prospect of unlimited free potations could he afford to risk the
+loss of his eminent respectability, which he regarded as a capitalist
+does his principal, something that must be drawn upon charily. Mr.
+Harker knew that his mission was ended, and, in spite of the order for
+the sherry and brandy, he had sufficient strength of mind to retire. In
+delicate business transactions like the one under consideration he made
+it a point to have another engagement when matters got about as far
+along as they now were in Haldane's case. If anything unpleasant
+occurred between parties whom he introduced to each other, and he was
+summoned as a witness, he grew so exceedingly dignified and superior in
+his bearing that every one felt like asking his pardon for their
+suspicions. He always proved an _alibi_, and left the court-room
+with the air of an injured man. As people, however, became familiar with
+his haunts and habits, there was an increasing number who regarded his
+virtuous assumptions and professions of ignorance in respect to certain
+cases of swindling with incredulous smiles.
+
+Mr. Barker, however, could not tear himself away till the brandy and
+sherry appeared, and, after paying his respects to both, went to keep
+his engagement, which consisted in lounging about another hotel on the
+other side of the depot.
+
+Messrs. Van Wink and Ketchem, of course, both knew how to deal the
+cards, and with apologetic laughter the young men put up small stakes at
+first, just to give zest to the amusement. Haldane lost the first game,
+won the second and third, lost again, had streaks of good and bad luck
+so skilfully intermingled that the thought often occurred to him:
+
+"These fellows play as fair a game as I ever saw and know how to win and
+lose money like gentlemen."
+
+But these high-toned "gentlemen" always managed to keep the bottle of
+sherry near him, and when they lost they would good-naturedly and
+hilariously propose that they take a drink. Haldane always complied, but
+while he drank they only sipped.
+
+As the evening waned the excitement of the infatuated youth deepened.
+The heat of the room and the fumes of tobacco combined with the liquor
+to unman him and intensify the natural recklessness of his character.
+
+There is, probably, no abnormal passion that so completely masters its
+victims as that for gambling; and as Haldane won, lost, and won again,
+he became so absorbed as to be unconscious of the flight of time and all
+things else. But as he lost self-control, as he half-unconsciously put
+his glass to his lips with increasing frequency, his companions grew
+cooler and more wary. Their eyes no longer beamed good-naturedly upon
+their victim, but began to emit the eager, cruel gleams of some bird of
+prey.
+
+But they still managed the affair with consummate skill. Their aim was
+to excite Haldane to the last degree of recklessness, and yet keep him
+sufficiently sober for further playing. From Harker they had learned
+that Mr. Arnot had probably sent him in the place of the clerk usually
+employed; and, if so, it was quite certain that he had a large sum of
+money upon his person. Haldane's words on becoming aware that he had
+missed his train confirmed their surmises, and it was now their object
+to beguile him into a condition which would make him capable of risking
+his employer's funds. They also wished that he should remain
+sufficiently sober to be responsible for this act, and to remember, as
+he recalled the circumstances, that it was his own act. Therefore they
+kept the brandy beyond his reach; that was not yet needed.
+
+By the time the evening was half over, Haldane found that, although he
+had apparently won considerable money, he had lost more, and that not a
+penny of his own funds remained. With an angry oath he stated the fact
+to his companions.
+
+"That's unfortunate," said Mr. Ketchem, sympathetically. "There are
+nearly two hours yet before the train leaves, and with your disposition
+toward good luck tonight you could clean us out by that time, and would
+have to lend us enough to pay our fares to New York."
+
+"It's a pity to give up our sport now that we have just got warmed up to
+it," added Mr. Van Wink, suggestively. "Haven't you some funds about you
+that you can borrow for the evening--just enough to keep the game going,
+you know?"
+
+Haldane hesitated. He was not so far gone but that conscience entered an
+emphatic protest. The trouble was, however, that he had never formed the
+habit of obeying conscience, even when perfectly sober. Another
+influence of the past also proved most disastrous. His mother's weakness
+now made him weak. In permitting him to take her money without asking,
+she had undermined the instinct of integrity which in this giddy moment
+of temptation might have saved him. If he from childhood had been taught
+that the property of others was sacred, the very gravity of the crime to
+which he now was urged would have sobered and awakened him to his
+danger. But his sense of wrong in this had been blunted, and there was
+no very strong repugnance toward the suggestion.
+
+Moreover, his brain was confused and excited to the last degree possible
+in one who still continued sane and responsible. Indeed, it would be
+difficult to say how far he was responsible at this supreme moment of
+danger. He certainly had drank so much as to be unable to realize the
+consequences of his action.
+
+After a moment's hesitation, like one who feebly tries to brace himself
+in a swift torrent, the gambler's passion surged up against and over his
+feeble will--then swept him down.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+THEIR VICTIM
+
+
+Haldane drew an envelope from his breast-pocket, and laid it on the
+table, saying with a reckless laugh:
+
+"Well, well, as you say, there is no great harm in borrowing a little of
+this money, and returning it again before the evening is over. The only
+question is how to open this package, for if torn it may require
+explanations that I do not care to make."
+
+"We can easily manage that," laughed Ketchem; "put the package in your
+pocket a few moments," and he rang the bell.
+
+To the boy who appeared he said, "Bring us three hot whiskey
+punches--hot, remember; steaming hot."
+
+He soon reappeared with the punch, and the door was locked again.
+
+"Hold your package over the steam of your punch, and the gum will
+dissolve so that you can open and close it in a way that will defy
+detection."
+
+The suggestion was speedily carried out.
+
+"Now," continued Mr. Ketchem, "the punch having already served so
+excellent a turn, we will finish it by drinking to your good luck."
+
+Haldane won the first two games. This success, together with the liquor,
+which was strong, almost wholly dethroned his reason, and in his mad,
+drunken excitement he began to stake large sums. The eyes of his
+companions grew more wolfish than ever, and, after a significant flash
+toward each other, the gamblers turned fortune against their victim
+finally. The brandy was now placed within his reach, and under its
+influence Haldane threw down money at random. The first package was soon
+emptied. He snatched the other from his pocket and tore it open, but
+before its contents had likewise disappeared his head drooped upon his
+breast, and he became insensible.
+
+They watched him a moment, smiled grimly at each other, drew a long
+breath of relief, and, rising, stretched themselves like men who had
+been under a strain that had taxed them severely.
+
+"Half an hour yet," said Mr. Van Wink; "wish the time was up."
+
+"This is a heavy swag if we get off safely with it. I say, Haldane, wake
+up."
+
+But Haldane was sunk in the deepest stupor.
+
+"I guess it's safe enough," said Van Wink, answering Ketchem's
+questioning eyes.
+
+The latter thereupon completely emptied the remaining package of money,
+and replaced the two empty envelopes in Haldane's breast-pocket, and
+buttoned up his coat.
+
+With mutual glances of exultation at the largeness of the sum, they
+swiftly divided the spoil between them. It was agreed that after leaving
+the hotel they should separate, that one should go to Boston, the other
+to Baltimore, and that they should return to their old haunts in New
+York after the interest caused by the affair had died out. Then,
+lighting cigars, they coolly sat down to wait for the train, having
+first opened a window and placed Haldane where the fresh air would blow
+upon him.
+
+When the time of departure approached, Mr. Van Wink went to the bar and
+paid both their own and Haldane's bill, saying that they would now
+vacate the room. On his return Ketchem had so far aroused Haldane that
+he was able to leave the house with their assistance, and yet so
+intoxicated as to be incapable of thinking and acting for himself. They
+took him down a side street, now utterly deserted, and left him on the
+steps of a low groggery, from whence still issued the voices of some
+late revellers. Five minutes later the "owl train" bore from the town
+Messrs. Van Wink and Ketchem, who might be called with a certain aptness
+birds of the night and of prey.
+
+Haldane remained upon the saloon steps, where he had been left, blinking
+stupidly at a distant street lamp. He had a vague impression that
+something was wrong--that a misfortune of some kind had befallen him,
+but all was confused and blurred. He would have soon gone to sleep again
+had not the door opened, and a man emerged, who exclaimed:
+
+"Faix, an who have we here, noddin' to himself as if he knew more'n
+other folk? Are ye waitin' for some un to ax ye within for a comfortin'
+dhrop?"
+
+"Take me 'ome," mumbled Haldane.
+
+"Where's yer home?"
+
+"Mrs. Haldane's," answered the youth, thinking himself in his native
+town.
+
+"By me sowl, if it isn't Boss Arnot's new clerk. Sure's me name is Pat
+M'Cabe 'tis Misther Haldane. I say, are ye sick?"
+
+"Take me 'ome."
+
+"Faix, I see," winking at two or three of his cronies who had gathered
+at the open door; "it's a disase I'm taken wid meself at odd spells,
+though I takes moighty good care to kape out o' the way of ould man
+Arnot when I'm so afflicted. He has a quare way o' thinkin' that ivery
+man about him can go as rigaler as if made in a mash-shine shop, bad
+luck till 'im."
+
+Perhaps all in Mr. Arnot's employ would have echoed this sentiment,
+could the ill luck have blighted him without reaching them. In working
+his employes as he did his machinery, Mr. Arnot forgot that the latter
+was often oiled, but that he entirely neglected to lubricate the wills
+of the former with occasional expressions of kindness and interest in
+their welfare. Thus it came to pass that even down to poor Pat M'Cabe,
+man of all work around the office building, all felt that their employer
+was a hard, driving taskmaster, who ever looked beyond them and their
+interests to what they accomplished for him. The spirit of the master
+infused itself among the men, and the tendency of each one to look out
+for himself without regard to others was increased. If Pat had served a
+kinder and more considerate man, he might have been inclined to show
+greater consideration for the intoxicated youth; but Pat's favorite
+phrase, "Divil take the hindmost," was but a fair expression of the
+spirit which animated his master, and the majority in his employ. When,
+therefore, Haldane, in his thick, imperfect utterance, again said, "Take
+me 'ome," Pat concluded that it would be the best and safest course for
+himself. Helping the young man to his feet he said:
+
+"Can ye walk? Mighty onstiddy on yer pins; but I'm athinkin' I can get
+ye to the big house afore mornin'. Should I kape ye out o' the way till
+ye get sober, and ould man Arnot find it out, I'd be in the street
+meself widout a job 'fore he ate his dinner. Stiddy now; lean aginst me,
+and don't wabble yer legs so."
+
+With like exhortations the elder and more wary disciple of Bacchus
+disappeared with his charge in the gloom of the night.
+
+It chanced that the light burned late, on this evening, in Mrs. Arnot's
+parlor. The lady's indisposition had confined her to her room and couch
+during the greater part of the day; but as the sun declined, the
+distress in her head had gradually ceased, and she had found her airy
+drawing-room a welcome change from the apartment heavy with the odor of
+anaesthetics. Two students from the university had aided in beguiling
+the early part of the evening, and then Laura had commenced reading
+aloud an interesting tale, which had suspended the consciousness of
+time. But as the marble clock on the mantel chimed out the hour of
+twelve, Mrs. Arnot rose hastily from the sofa, exclaiming:
+
+"What am I thinking of, to keep you up so late! If your mother knew that
+you were out of your bed she would hesitate to trust you with me again."
+
+"One more chapter, dear auntie, please?"
+
+"Yes, dear, several more--to-morrow; but to bed now, _instanter_.
+Come, kiss your remorseful aunt good-night. I'll remain here a while
+longer, for either your foolish story or the after effects of my
+wretched headache make me a trifle morbid and wakeful to-night. Oh, how
+that bell startles me! what can it mean so late?"
+
+The loud ring at the door remained unanswered a few moments, for the
+servants had all retired. But the applicant without did not wait long
+before repeating the summons still more emphatically.
+
+Then they heard the library door open, and Mr. Arnot's heavy step in the
+hall, as he went himself to learn the nature of the untimely call. His
+wife's nervous timidity vanished at once, and she stepped forward to
+join her husband, while Laura stood looking out from the parlor entrance
+with a pale and frightened face. "Can it be bad news from home?" she
+thought.
+
+"Who is there?" demanded Mr. Arnot, sternly.
+
+"Me and Misther Haldane," answered a voice without in broadest brogue.
+
+"Mr. Haldane!" exclaimed Mr. Arnot excitedly; "what can this mean? Who
+is _me?_" he next asked loudly.
+
+"Me is Pat M'Cabe, sure; the same as tidies up the office and does yer
+irrinds. Mr. Haldane's had a bad turn, and I've brought him home."
+
+As Mr. Arnot swung open the door, a man, who seemingly had been leaning
+against it, fell prone within the hall. Laura gave a slight scream, and
+Mrs. Arnot was much alarmed, thinking that Haldane was suffering from
+some sudden and alarming attack. Thoughts of at once telegraphing to his
+mother were entering her mind, when the object of her solicitude tried
+to rise, and mumbled in the thick utterance of intoxication:
+
+"This isn't home. Take me to mother's."
+
+Mrs. Arnot's eyes turned questioningly to her husband, and she saw that
+his face was dark with anger and disgust.
+
+"He is drunk," he said, turning to Pat, who stood in the door, cap in
+hand.
+
+"Faix, sur, it looks moighty loike it. But it's not for a dacent sober
+man loike meself to spake sartainly o' sich matters."
+
+"Few words and to the point, sir," said Mr. Arnot harshly; "your breath
+tells where you have been. But where did you find this--and how came you
+to find him?"
+
+Either Mr. Arnot was at a loss for a term which would express his
+estimation of the young man, who had slowly and unsteadily risen, and
+was supporting himself by holding fast the hatrack, or he was restrained
+in his utterance by the presence of his wife.
+
+"Well, sur," said Pat, with as ingenuous and candid an air as if he were
+telling the truth, "the wife o' a neighbor o' mine was taken on a
+suddint, and I went for the docther, and as I was a comin' home, who
+shud I see sittin' on a doorsthep but Misther Haldane, and I thought it
+me duty to bring him home to yees."
+
+"You have done right. Was it on the doorstep of a drinking-place you
+found him?"
+
+"I'm athinkin' it was, sur; it had that sort o' look."
+
+Mr. Arnot turned to his wife and said coldly, "You now see how it works.
+But this is not a fit object for you and Laura to look upon; so please
+retire. I will see that he gets safely to his room. I suppose he must go
+there, though the station-house is the more proper place for him."
+
+"He certainly must go to his own room," said Mrs. Arnot, firmly but
+quietly.
+
+"Well, then, steady him along up the stairs, Pat. I will show you where
+to put the--" and Mr. Arnot again seemed to hesitate for a term, but the
+blank was more expressive of his contempt than any epithet could be,
+since his tone and manner suggested the worst.
+
+Returning to the parlor, Mrs. Arnot found Laura's face expressive of the
+deepest alarm and distress.
+
+"O auntie, what does all this mean? Am I in any way to blame? He said he
+would go to ruin if I didn't--but how could I?"
+
+"No, my dear, you are not in the slightest degree to blame. Mr. Haldane
+seems both bad and foolish. I feel to-night that he is not worthy to
+speak to you; much less is he fit to be intrusted with that which you
+will eventually give, I hope, only to one who is pre-eminently noble and
+good. Come with me to your room, my child. I am very sorry I permitted
+you to stay up to-night."
+
+But Laura was sleepless and deeply troubled; she had never seen a
+laborer--much less one of her own acquaintances--in Haldane's condition
+before; and to her young, innocent mind the event had almost the
+character of a tragedy. Although conscious of entire blamelessness, she
+supposed that she was more directly the cause of Haldane's behavior than
+was true, and that he was carrying out his threat to destroy himself by
+reckless dissipation. She did not know that he had been beguiled into
+his miserable condition through bad habits of long standing, and that he
+had fallen into the clutches of those who always infest public haunts,
+and live by preying upon the fast, foolish, and unwary. Haldane, from
+his character and associations, was liable to such an experience
+whenever circumstances combined to make it possible. Young men with no
+more principle than he possessed are never safe from disaster, and they
+who trust them trust rather to the chances of their not meeting the
+peculiar temptations and tests to which they would prove unequal. Laura
+could not then know how little she had to do with the tremendous
+downfall of her premature lover. The same conditions given, he would
+probably have met with the same experience upon any occasion. After his
+first glass of punch the small degree of discretion that he had learned
+thus far in life began to desert him; and every man as he becomes
+intoxicated is first a fool, and then the victim of every one who
+chooses to take advantage of his voluntary helplessness and degradation.
+
+But innocent Laura saw a romantic and tragic element in the painful
+event, and she fell asleep with some vague womanly thoughts about saving
+a fellow-creature by the sacrifice of herself. However, the morning
+light, the truth concerning Haldane, and her own good sense, would
+banish such morbid fancies. Indeed the worst possible way in which a
+young woman can set about reforming a bad man is to marry him. The usual
+result is greatly increased guilt on the part of the husband, and
+lifelong, hopeless wretchedness for the wife.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+PAT AND THE PRESS
+
+
+Pat having steadied and half carried Haldane to his room, Mr. Arnot
+demanded of his clerk what had become of the money intrusted to his
+care; but his only answer was a stupid, uncomprehending stare.
+
+"Hold his hands," said Mr. Arnot impatiently.
+
+M'Cabe having obeyed, the man of business, whose solicitude in the
+affair had no concern with the young man's immeasurable loss, but
+related only to his own money, immediately felt in Haldane's pockets for
+the envelopes which had contained the thousand dollars in currency. The
+envelopes were safe enough--one evidently opened with the utmost care,
+and the other torn recklessly--but the money was gone.
+
+When Haldane saw the envelopes, there was a momentary expression of
+trouble and perplexity upon his face, and he tried to speak; but his
+thick utterance was unintelligible. This gleam of intelligence passed
+quickly, however, and the stupor of intoxication reasserted itself. His
+heavy eyelids drooped, and Pat with difficulty could keep him on his
+feet.
+
+"Toss him there on the lounge; take off his muddy boots. Nothing further
+can be done while he is in this beastly condition," said Mr. Arnot, in a
+voice that was as harsh as the expression of his face.
+
+The empty envelopes and Mr. Arnot's dark looks suggested a great deal to
+Pat, and he saw that one of his "sprees" was an innocent matter compared
+with this affair.
+
+"Now, go down to my study and wait there for me."
+
+Pat obeyed in a very steady and decorous manner, for the matter was
+assuming such gravity as to sober him completely.
+
+Mr. Arnot satisfied himself that there was no chance of escape from the
+windows, and then, after another look of disgust and anger at Haldane,
+who was now sleeping heavily, he took the key from the door, and locked
+it on the outside.
+
+Descending to his study, the irate gentleman next wrote a note, and gave
+it to his porter, saying:
+
+"Take that to the police-headquarters, and ask that it be sent to the
+superintendent at once. No mistake, now, as you value your place; and
+mind, not a word of all this to any one."
+
+"Faix, sir, I'll be as dumb as an oyster, and do yer biddin' in a
+jiffy," said Pat, backing out of the room, and glad to escape from one
+whose threatening aspect seemed to forebode evil to any one within his
+reach.
+
+"He looks black enough to murther the poor young spalpeen," muttered the
+Irishman, as he hastened to do his errand, remembering now with
+trepidation that, though he had escaped from his master, the big,
+red-faced, stout-armed wife of his bosom was still to be propitiated
+after his late prowlings.
+
+When he entered the main street, a light that glimmered from the top of
+a tall building suggested how he might obtain that kind of oil which,
+cast upon the domestic billows that so often raged in his fourth-floor
+back room, was most effective in producing a little temporary
+smoothness.
+
+Since the weather was always fouler within his domestic haven than
+without, and on this occasion threatened to be at its worst, Pat at one
+time half decided not to run into port at all; but the glimmer of the
+light already mentioned suggested another course.
+
+Although the night was far spent, Pat still longed for a "wink o' slape"
+before going to his work, and, in order to enjoy it, knew that he must
+obtain the means of allaying the storm, which was not merely brewing,
+but which, from the lateness of the hour, had long been brewed. In his
+own opinion, the greenness of his native isle had long ago faded from
+his mental and moral complexion, and he did not propose that any stray
+dollars, which by any shrewdness or artifice could be diverted into his
+pocket, should get by him.
+
+Since his wife had developed into a huge, female divinity, at whose
+shrine it seemed probable that he would eventually become a human
+sacrifice, and whose wrath, in the meantime, it was his daily task to
+appease, Pat had gradually formed the habit of making a sort of
+companion of himself. In accordance with his custom, therefore, he
+stopped under the high window from whence gleamed the light, for the
+sake of a little personal counsel.
+
+"Now, Pat," he muttered, "if yees had gone home at nine o'clock, yees
+wudn't be afeared to go home now; and if yees go home now widout a
+dollar more or less, the ould 'ooman will make yer wish yees had set on
+the curbstone the rest o' the night. They sez some men has no bowels o'
+marcies; and after what I've seen the night, and afore the night, too, I
+kin belave that Boss Arnot's in'ards were cast at the same foundry where
+he gets his mash-shines. He told me that I must spake nary a word about
+what I've seen and heard, and if I should thry to turn an honest penny
+by givin' a knowin' wink or two where they wud pay for the same, that
+'ud be the ind of Pat M'Cabe at the big office. And yet they sez that
+them as buys news is loike them that takes stolen goods--moighty willin'
+to kape dark about where they got it, so that they kin get more next
+time. That's the iditor of the 'Currier' in yon high room, and p'raps
+he'll pay me as much for a wink and a hint the night as I'll get for me
+day's work termorrow. Bust me if I don't thry him, if he'll fust promise
+me to say it any one axes him that he niver saw Pat M'Cabe in his
+loife," and the suddenly improvised reporter climbed the long stairways
+to where the night editor sat at his desk.
+
+Pat gave a hearty rap for manners, but as the night was waning he walked
+in without waiting for an answer, and addressed the startled newspaper
+man with a business-like directness, which might often be advantageously
+imitated:
+
+"Is this the shop where yer pays a dacent price for news?"
+
+"It depends on the importance of the news, and its truthfulness,"
+answered the editor, after eying the intruder suspiciously for a moment.
+
+"Thin I've got ye on both counts, though I didn't think ye'd bear down
+so heavy on its being thrue," said Pat, advancing confidently.
+
+As the door of the press-room, in which men were at work, stood open,
+the editor felt no alarm from the sudden appearance of the burly figure
+before him, but, supposing the man had been drinking, he said
+impatiently:
+
+"Please state your business briefly, as my time is valuable."
+
+"If yer time is worth mor'n news, I'll go to another shop," said Pat
+stiffly, making a feint of departure.
+
+"That's a good fellow, go along," chimed in the editor, bending down to
+his writing again.
+
+Such disastrous acquiescence puzzled Pat for a moment, and he growled,
+"No wonder yer prints a paper that's loike a lump o' lead, when 'stead
+o' lookin' for news yer turns it away from yer doors."
+
+"Now, look here, my man," said the editor rising, "if you have anything
+to say, say it. If you have been drinking, you will not be permitted to
+make a row in this office."
+
+"It's not me, but another man that's been dhrinkin'."
+
+"Well," snarled the editor, "if the other man had the drink, you have
+the 'drunk,' and if you don't take yourself off, I'll call some men from
+the press-room who may put you downstairs uncomfortably fast."
+
+"Hould on a bit," remonstrated Pat, "before yer ruffle yer feathers
+clane over yer head and blinds yer eyes. Wud a man loike Boss Arnot send
+me, if I was dhrunk, wid a letther at this toime o' night? and wud he
+send a letther to the superintindent o' the perlice at this toime o' the
+night to ax him the toime o' day! Afore yer calls yer spalpeens out o'
+the press-room squint at that."
+
+The moment the editor caught sight of the business stamp on Mr. Arnot's
+letter and the formal handwriting, his manner changed, and he said
+suavely:
+
+"I beg your pardon--we have misunderstood one another--take a chair."
+
+"There's been no misunderstandin' on my part," retorted Pat, with an
+injured air; "I've got as dainty a bit o' scandal jist under me tongue
+as iver ye spiced yer paper wid, and yees thrates me as if I was the
+inimy o' yer sowl."
+
+"Well, you see," said the editor apologetically, "your not being in our
+regular employ, Mr.--I beg your pardon--and your coming in this unusual
+way and hour--"
+
+"But, begorry, somethin' unusual's happened."
+
+"So I understand; it was very good of you to come to us first; just give
+me the points, and I will jot them down."
+
+"But what are yees goin' to give me for the pints?"
+
+"That depends upon what they are worth. News cannot be paid for till we
+learn its value."
+
+"Och! here I'm rinnin' a grate risk in tellin' ye at all, and whin I've
+spilt it all out, and can't pick it up agin, ye may show me the door,
+and tell me to go 'long wid me rubbish."
+
+"If you find what you have to report in the paper, you may know it is
+worth something. So if you will look at the paper to-morrow you can see
+whether it will be worth your while to call again," said the editor,
+becoming impatient at Pat's hesitancy to open his budget.
+
+"But I'm in sore need of a dollar or two to-night. Dade, it's as much as
+my loife's worth to go home widout 'em."
+
+"See here, my good friend," said the editor, rising again and speaking
+very energetically, "my time is very valuable, and you have taken
+considerable of it. Whatever may be the nature of your news, it will not
+be worth anything to me if you do not tell it at once."
+
+"Well, you see the biggest part o' the news is goin' to happen
+to-morrow."
+
+"Well, well, what has happened to-night?"
+
+"Will ye promise not to mention me name?"
+
+"How can I mention it when I don't know it?"
+
+"That's thrue, that's thrue. Now me mind's aisy on that pint, for ye
+must know that Boss Arnot's in'ards are made o' cast-iron, and he'd have
+no marcy on a feller. You'll surely give me a dollar, at laste."
+
+"Yes, if your story is worth printing, and I give you just three minutes
+in which to tell it."
+
+Thus pinned down, Pat related all he knew and surmised concerning
+Haldane's woful predicament, saying in conclusion:
+
+"Ye must know that this Haldane is not a poor spalpeen uv a clerk, but a
+gintleman's son. They sez that his folks is as stylish and rich as the
+Arnots themselves. If ye'll have a reporther up at the office in the
+mornin', ye'll git the balance o' the tale."
+
+Having received his dollar, Pat went chuckling on his way to deliver his
+employer's letter to the superintendent of the city police.
+
+"Faix! I was as wise as a sarpent in not tellin' me name, for ye niver
+can thrust these iditors. It's no green Irishman that can make a dollar
+after twelve o' the night."
+
+A sleepy reporter was aroused and despatched after Pat, in order to
+learn, if possible, the contents of Mr. Arnot's note.
+
+In the meantime heavily leaded lines--vague and mysterious--concerning
+"Crime in High Life," were set up, accompanied on the editorial page by
+a paragraph to the following effect:
+
+
+"With our usual enterprise and keen scent for news, we discovered at a
+late hour last night that an intelligent Irishman in the employ of Mr.
+Arnot had been intrusted by that gentleman with a letter written after
+the hour of midnight to the superintendent of the police. The guilty
+party appears to be a Mr. Haldane--a young man of aristocratic and
+wealthy connections--who is at present in Mr. Arnot's employ, and a
+member of his family. We think we are aware of the nature of his grave
+offence, but in justice to all concerned we refer our readers to our
+next issue, wherein they will find full particulars of the painful
+affair, since we have obtained peculiar facilities for learning them. No
+arrests have yet been made."
+
+
+"That will pique all the gossips in town, and nearly double our next
+issue," complacently muttered the local editor, as he carried the scrawl
+at the last moment into the composing-room.
+
+In the meantime the hero of our story--if such a term by any latitude of
+meaning can be applied to one whose folly had brought him into such a
+prosaic and miserable plight--still lay in a heavy stupor on the lounge
+where Pat had thrown his form, that had been as limp and helpless as if
+it had become a mere body without a soul. But the consequences of his
+action did not cease with his paralysis, any more than do the influences
+of evil deeds perish with a dying man.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+RETURNING CONSCIOUSNESS
+
+
+Mr. Arnot did not leave his library that night. His wife came to the
+door and found it locked. To her appeal he replied coldly, but
+decisively, that he was engaged.
+
+She sighed deeply, feeling that the sojourn of young Haldane under her
+roof was destined to end in a manner most painful to herself and to her
+friend, his mother. She feared that the latter would blame her somewhat
+for his miserable fiasco, and she fully believed that if her husband
+permitted the young man to suffer open disgrace, she would never be
+forgiven by the proud and aristocratic lady.
+
+And yet she felt that it was almost useless to speak to her husband in
+his present mood, or to hope that he could be induced to show much
+consideration for so grave an offense.
+
+Of the worst feature in Haldane's conduct, however, she had no
+knowledge. Mr. Arnot rarely spoke to his wife concerning his business,
+and she had merely learned, the previous evening, that Haldane had been
+sent to New York upon some errand. Acting upon the supposition that her
+husband had remembered and complied with her request, she graciously
+thanked him for giving the young man a little change and diverting
+novelty of scene.
+
+Mr. Arnot, who happened to verge somewhat toward a complacent mood upon
+this occasion, smiled grimly at his wife's commendation, and even unbent
+so far as to indulge in some ponderous attempts at wit with Laura
+concerning her "magnificent offer," and asserted that if she had been
+"like his wife, she would have jumped at the chance of getting hold of
+such a crude, unreformed specimen of humanity. Indeed," concluded he, "I
+did not know but that Mrs. Arnot was bringing about the match, so that
+she might have a little of the raw material for reformatory purposes
+continually on hand."
+
+Mrs. Arnot smiled, as she ever did, at her husband's attempted
+witticisms; but what he regarded as light, delicate shafts, winged
+sportively and carelessly, had rather the character of any heavy object
+that came to hand thrown at her with heedless, inconsiderate force. It
+is due Mr. Arnot to say that he gave so little thought and attention to
+the wounds and bruises he caused, as to be unaware that any had been
+made. He had no hair-springs and jewel-tipped machinery in his massive,
+angular organization, and he acted practically as if the rest of
+humanity had been cast in the same mold with himself.
+
+But Haldane's act touched him at his most vulnerable point. Not only had
+a large sum of his money been made away with, but, what was far worse,
+there had been a most serious irregularity in the business routine.
+While, therefore, he resolved that Haldane should receive full
+punishment, the ulterior thought of giving the rest of his employes a
+warning and intimidating lesson chiefly occupied his mind.
+
+Aware of his wife's "unbusinesslike weakness and sentimental notions,"
+as he characterized her traits, he determined not to see her until he
+had carried out his plan of securing repayment of the money, and of
+striking a salutary sentiment of fear into the hearts of all who were
+engaged in carrying out his methodical will.
+
+Therefore, with the key of Haldane's room in his pocket, he kept watch
+and guard during the remainder of the night, taking only such rest as
+could be obtained on the lounge in his library.
+
+At about sunrise two men appeared, and rapped lightly on the library
+window. Mr. Arnot immediately went out to them, and placed one within a
+summer-house in the spacious garden at the rear of the house, and the
+other in front, where he would be partially concealed by evergreens. By
+this arrangement the windows of Haldane's apartment and every entrance
+of the house were under the surveillance of police officers in citizen's
+dress. Mr. Arnot's own personal pride, as well as some regard for his
+wife's feelings, led him to arrange that the arrest should not be made
+at their residence, for he wished that all the events occurring at the
+house should be excluded as far as possible from the inevitable talk
+which the affair would occasion. At the same time he proposed to guard
+against the possibility of Haldane's escape, should fear or shame prompt
+his flight.
+
+Having now two assistant watchers, he threw himself on the sofa, and
+took an hour or more of unbroken sleep. On awaking, he went with silent
+tread to the door of Haldane's room, and, afer listening a moment, was
+satisfied from the heavy breathing within that its occupant was still
+under the influence of stupor. He now returned the key to the door, and
+unlocked it so that Haldane could pass out as soon as he was able. Then,
+after taking a little refreshment in the dining-room, he went directly
+to the residence of a police justice of his acquaintance, who, on
+hearing the facts as far as then known concerning Haldane, made out a
+warrant for his arrest, and promised that the officer to whom it would
+be given should be sent forthwith to Mr. Arnot's office--for thither the
+young man would first come, or be brought, on recovering from his heavy
+sleep.
+
+Believing that he had now made all the arrangements necessary to secure
+himself from loss, and to impress the small army in his service that
+honesty was the "best policy" in their relations with him, Mr. Arnot
+walked leisurely to one of his factories in the suburbs, partly to see
+that all was right, and partly to remind his agents there that they were
+in the employ of one whose untiring vigilance would not permit any
+neglect of duty to escape undetected.
+
+Having noted that the routine of work was going forward as regularly as
+the monotonous clank of the machinery, he finally wended his way to his
+city office, and was the first arrival thither save Pat M'Cabe, who had
+just finished putting the place in order for the business of the day.
+His factotum was in mortal trepidation, for in coming across town he had
+eagerly bought the morning "Courier," and his complacent sense of
+security at having withheld his name from the "oncivil iditer" vanished
+utterly as he read the words, "an intelligent Irishman in Mr. Arnot's
+employ."
+
+"Och! bloody blazes! that manes me," he had exclaimed; "and ould Boss
+Arnot will know it jist as well as if they had printed me name all over
+the paper. Bad luck to the spalpeen, and worse luck to meself!
+'Intilligent Irishman,' am I? Then what kind o' a crather would one be
+as had no sinse a' tall? Here I've bin throwin' away fotry dollars the
+month for the sake o' one! Whin I gets me discharge I'd better go round
+to the tother side o' the airth' than go home to me woife."
+
+Nor were his apprehensions allayed as he saw Mr. Arnot reading the paper
+with a darkening scowl; but for the present Pat was left in suspense as
+to his fate.
+
+Clerks and book-keepers soon appeared, and among them a policeman, who
+was summoned to the inner office, and given a seat somewhat out of sight
+behind the door.
+
+Upon every face there was an expression of suppressed excitement and
+expectation, for the attention of those who had not seen the morning
+paper was speedily called to the ominous paragraph. But the routine and
+discipline of the office prevailed, and in a few minutes all heads were
+bending over bulky journals and ledgers, but with many a furtive glance
+at the door.
+
+As for Pat, he had the impression that the policeman within would collar
+him before the morning was over, and march him off, with Haldane, to
+jail; and he was in such a state of nervous apprehension that almost any
+event short of an earthquake would be a relief if it could only happen
+at once.
+
+The April sun shone brightly and genially into the apartment in which
+Haldane had been left to sleep off his drunken stupor. In all its
+appointments it appeared as fresh, inviting, and cleanly as the
+wholesome light without. The spirit of the housekeeper pervaded every
+part of the mansion, and in both furniture and decoration it would seem
+that she had studiously excluded everything which would suggest morbid
+or gloomy thoughts. It was Mrs. Arnot's philosophy that outward
+surroundings impart their coloring to the mind, and are a help or a
+hindrance. She was a disciple of the light, and was well aware that she
+must resolutely dwell in its full effulgence in order to escape from the
+blighting shadow of a life-long disappointment. Thus she sought to make
+her home, not gay or gaudy--not a brilliant mockery of her sorrow, which
+she had learned to calmly recognize as one might a village cemetery in a
+sunny landscape--but cheerful and lightsome like this April morning,
+which looked in through the curtained windows of Haldane's apartment,
+and found everything in harmony with itself save the occupant.
+
+And yet he was young and in his spring-time. Why should he make discord
+with the bright fresh morning? Because the shadow of evil--which is
+darker than the shadow of night, age, or sorrow--rested upon him. His
+hair hung in disorder over a brow which was contracted into a frown. His
+naturally fine features had a heavy, bloated, sensual aspect; and yet,
+even while he slept, you caught a glimpse in this face--as through a
+veil--of the anguish of a spirit that was suffering brutal wrong and
+violence.
+
+His insensibility was passing away. His mind appeared to be struggling
+to cast off the weight of a stupefied body, but for a time its
+throes--which were manifested by starts, strong shudderings, and
+muttered words--were ineffectual. At last, in desperation, as it were,
+the tortured soul, poisoned even in its imaginings by the impurity of
+the lower nature, conjured up such a horrid vision that in its anguish
+it broke its chains, threw off the crushing weight, and the young man
+started up.
+
+This returning consciousness had not been, like the dawn stealing in at
+his window, followed by a burst of sunlight. As the morning enters the
+stained, foul, dingy places of dissipation, which early in the evening
+had been the gas-lighted, garish scenes of riot and senseless laughter,
+and later the fighting ground of all the vile vermin of the night with
+their uncanny noises--as when, the doors and windows having been at last
+opened, the light struggles in through stale tobacco-smoke, revealing
+dimly a discolored, reeking place, whose sights and odors are more in
+harmony with the sewer than the sweet April sunshine and the violets
+opening on southern slopes--so when reason and memory, the janitors of
+the mind, first admitted the light of consciousness, only the obscure
+outline of miserable feelings and repulsive events were manifest to
+Haldane's introspection.
+
+There was a momentary relief at finding that the horrible dream which
+had awakened him was only a dream, but while his waking banished the
+uncouth shapes of the imagination, his sane, will-guided vision saw
+revealed that from which he shrank with far greater dread.
+
+For a few moments, as he stared vacantly around the room, he could
+realize nothing save a dull, leaden weight of pain. In this dreary
+obscurity of suffering, distinct causes of trouble and fear began to
+shape themselves. There was a mingled sense of misfortune and guilt. He
+had a confused memory of a great disappointment, and he knew from his
+condition that he had been drinking.
+
+He looked at himself--he was dressed. There stood his muddy boots--two
+foul blots on the beauty and cleanliness of the room. So then he had
+come, or had been brought, at some hour during the night, to the house
+of his stern and exacting employer. Haldane dismissed the thought of him
+with a reckless oath; but his face darkened with anguish as he
+remembered that this was also the home of Mrs. Arnot, who had been so
+kind, and, at the present time, the home of Laura Romeyn also.
+
+They may have seen, or, at least, must know of, his degradation.
+
+He staggered to the ewer, and, with a trembling hand, poured out a
+little water. Having bathed his hot, feverish face, he again sat down,
+and tried to recall what had happened.
+
+In bitterness of heart he remembered his last interview with Laura, and
+her repugnance toward both himself and what she regarded as "his
+disgusting vices," and so disgusting did his evil courses now seem that,
+for the first time in his life, he thought of himself with loathing.
+
+Then, as memory rapidly duplicated subsequent events, he gave a
+contemptuous smile to his "gloomy grandeur" schemes in passing, and saw
+himself on the way to New York, with one thousand dollars of his
+employer's funds intrusted to his care. He remembered that he was
+introduced to two fascinating strangers, that they drank and lunched
+together, that they missed the train, that they were gambling, that,
+having lost all his own money, he was tempted to open a package
+belonging to Mr. Arnot; did he not open the other also? At this point
+all became confused and blurred.
+
+What had become of that money?
+
+With nervous, trembling haste he searched his pockets. Both the money
+and the envelopes were gone.
+
+His face blanched; his heart sank with a certain foreboding of evil. He
+found himself on the brink of an abyss, and felt the ground crumbling
+beneath him. First came a mad impulse to fly, to escape and hide
+himself; and he had almost carried it out. His hand was on the door, but
+he hesitated, turned back, and walked the floor in agony.
+
+Then came the better impulse of one as yet unhardened in the ways of
+evil, to go at once to his employer, tell the whole truth, and make such
+reparation as was within his power. He knew that his mother was
+abundantly able to pay back the money, and he believed she would do so.
+
+This he conceded was his best, and, indeed, only safe course, and he
+hoped that the wretched affair might be so arranged as to be kept hidden
+from the world. As for Mrs. Arnot and Laura, he felt that he could never
+look them in the face again.
+
+Suppose he should meet them going out. The very thought was dreadful,
+and it seemed to him that he would sink to the floor from shame under
+their reproachful eyes. Would they be up yet? He looked at his watch; it
+had run down, and its motionless hands pointed at the vile, helpless
+condition in which he must have been at the time when he usually wound
+it up.
+
+He glanced from the window, with the hope of escaping the two human
+beings whom he dreaded more than the whole mocking world; but it was too
+lofty to admit of a leap to the ground.
+
+"Who is yonder strange man that seems to be watching the house?" he
+queried.
+
+Was it his shaken nerves and sense of guilt which led him to suspect
+danger and trouble on every side?
+
+"There is no help for it," he exclaimed, grinding his teeth; and,
+opening the door, he hastened from the house, looking neither to the
+right hand nor to the left.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+HALDANE IS ARRESTED
+
+
+As Haldane strode rapidly along the winding, gravelled path that led
+from Mrs. Arnot's beautiful suburban villa to the street, he started
+violently as he encountered a stranger, who appeared to be coming toward
+the mansion; and he was greatly relieved when he was permitted to pass
+unmolested. And yet the cool glance of scrutiny which he received left a
+very unpleasant impression. Nor was this uneasiness diminished when, on
+reaching the street, he found that the stranger had apparently
+accomplished his errand to the house so speedily that he was already
+returning, and accompanied by another man.
+
+Were not their eyes fixed on him, or was he misled by his fears? After a
+little time he looked around again. One of the men had disappeared, and
+he breathed more fully. No; there he was on the opposite side of the
+street, and walking steadily abreast with him, while his companion
+continued following about the same distance away.
+
+Was he "shadowed"? He was, indeed, literally and figuratively. Although
+the sun was shining bright and warm, never before had he been conscious
+of such a horror of great darkness. The light which can banish the
+oppressive, disheartening shadow of guilt must come from beyond the sun.
+
+As he entered the busier streets in the vicinity of the office, he saw a
+few persons whom he knew. Was he again misled by his overwrought and
+nervous condition? or did these persons try to shun him by turning
+corners, entering shops, or by crossing the street, and looking
+resolutely the other way.
+
+Could that awful entity, the world, already know the events of the past
+night?
+
+A newsboy was vociferating down a side street. The word "Crime" only
+caught Haldane's ear, but the effect was as cold and as chilling as the
+drip of an icicle.
+
+As he hastened up the office steps, Pat M'Cabe scowled upon him, and
+muttered audibly:
+
+"Bad luck till yees! I wish I'd lift ye ablinkin' like an owl where I
+found ye."
+
+"An' back luck till yees, too," added Pat in his surly growl, as a
+reporter, note-book in hand, stepped nimbly in after Haldane; "it's
+meself that wishes iviry iditer o' the land was burned up wid his own
+lyin' papers."
+
+Even the most machine-like of the sere and withered book-keepers held
+their pens in suspense as Haldane passed hastily toward Mr. Arnot's
+private office, followed by the reporter, whose alert manner and
+observant, questioning eye suggested an animated symbol of
+interrogation.
+
+The manner of his fellow clerks did not escape Haldane's notice even in
+that confused and hurried moment, and it increased his sense of an
+impending blow; but when, on entering the private office, Mr. Arnot
+turned toward him his grim, rigid face, and when a man in the uniform of
+an officer of the law rose and stepped forward as if the one expected
+had now arrived, his heart misgave him utterly, and for a moment he
+found no words, but stood before his employer, pallid and trembling, his
+very attitude and appearance making as full a confession of guilt as
+could the statement he proposed to give.
+
+If Pat's opinion concerning Mr. Arnot's "in'ards" had not been
+substantially correct, that inexorable man would have seen that this was
+not an old offender who stood before him. The fact that Haldane was
+overwhelmed with shame and fear, should have tempered his course with
+healing and saving kindness. But Mr. Arnot had already decided upon his
+plan, and no other thought would occur to him save that of carrying it
+out with machine-like precision. His frown deepened as he saw the
+reporter, but after a second's thought he made no objection to his
+presence, as the increasing publicity that would result would add to the
+punishment which was designed to be a signal warning to all in his
+employ.
+
+After a moment's lowering scrutiny of the trembling youth, during which
+his confidential clerk, by previous arrangement, appeared, that he might
+be a witness of all that occurred, Mr. Arnot said coldly:
+
+"Well, sir, perhaps you can now tell me what has become of the funds
+which I intrusted to your care last evening."
+
+"That is my purpose--object," stammered Haldane; "if you will only give
+me a chance I will tell you everything."
+
+"I am ready to hear, sir. Be brief; business has suffered too great an
+interruption already."
+
+"Please have a little consideration for me," said Haldane, eagerly,
+great beaded drops of perspiration starting from his brow; "I do not
+wish to speak before all these witnesses. Give me a private interview,
+and I will explain everything, and can promise that the money shall be
+refunded."
+
+"I shall make certain of that, rest assured," replied Mr. Arnot, in the
+same cold, relentless tone. "The money was intrusted to your care last
+evening, in the presence of witnesses. Here are the empty envelopes. If
+you have any explanations to make concerning what you did with the
+money, speak here and now."
+
+"I must warn the young man," said the policeman, interposing, "not to
+say anything which will tend to criminate himself. He must remember that
+whatever he says will appear against him in evidence."
+
+"But there is no need that this affair should have any such publicity,"
+Haldane urged in great agitation. "If Mr. Arnot will only show a little
+humanity toward me I will arrange the matter so that he will not lose a
+penny. Indeed, my mother will pay twice the sum rather than have the
+affair get abroad."
+
+The reporter just behind him grinned and lifted his eyebrows as he took
+down these words _verbatim_.
+
+"For your mother's sake I deeply regret that 'the affair' as you mildly
+term it, must and has become known. As far as you are concerned, I have
+no compunctions. When a seeming man can commit a grave crime in the hope
+that a widowed mother--whose stay and pride he ought to be--will come
+to his rescue, and buy immunity from deserved punishment, he neither
+deserves, nor shall he receive, mercy at my hands. But were I capable of
+a maudlin sentiment of pity in the circumstances, the duty I owe my
+business would prevent any such expression as you desire. When any one
+in my employ takes advantage of my confidence, he must also, and with
+absolute certainty, take the consequences."
+
+"Bad luck ter yez!" mentally ejaculated Pat, whom curiosity and the
+fascination of his own impending fate had drawn within earshot.
+
+"What do you intend to do with me?" asked Haldane, his brow contracting,
+and his face growing sullen under Mr. Arnot's harsh, bitter words.
+
+"Do! What is done with clerks who steal their employers' money?"
+
+"I did not steal your money," said Haldane impetuously.
+
+"Where is it, then?" asked Mr. Arnot, with a cold sneer.
+
+"Be careful, now," said the policeman; "you are getting excited, and you
+may say what you'll wish you hadn't."
+
+"Mr. Arnot, do you mean to have it go abroad to all the world that I
+have deliberately stolen that thousand dollars?" asked the young man
+desperately.
+
+"Here are the empty envelopes. Where is the money?" said his employer,
+in the same cool, inexorable tone.
+
+"I met two sharpers from New York, who made a fool of me--"
+
+"Made a fool of you! that was impossible," interrupted Mr. Arnot with a
+harsh laugh.
+
+"Dastard that you are, to strike a man when he is down," thundered
+Haldane wrathfully. "Since everything must go abroad, the truth shall
+go, and not foul slander. I got to drinking with these men from New
+York, and missed the train--"
+
+"Be careful, now; think what you are saying," interrupted the policeman.
+
+"He charges me with what amounts to a bald theft, and in a way that all
+will hear of the charge, and shall I not defend my self?"
+
+"O, certainly, if you can prove that you did not take the money--only
+remember, what you say will appear in the evidence."
+
+"What evidence?" cried the bewildered and excited youth with an oath.
+"If you will only give me a chance, you shall have all the evidence
+there is in a sentence. These blacklegs from New York appeared like
+gentlemen. A friend in town introduced them to me, and, after losing the
+train, we agreed to spend the evening together. They called for cards,
+and they won the money."
+
+Mr. Arnot's dark cheek had grown more swarthy at the epithet of
+"dastard," but he coolly waited until Haldane had finished, and then
+asked in his former tone:
+
+"Did they take the money from your person and open the envelopes, one
+carefully, the other recklessly, before they won it?"
+
+Guided by this keen questioning, memory flashed back its light on the
+events of the past night, and Haldane saw himself opening the first
+package, certainly, and he remembered how it was done. He trembled, and
+his face, that had been so flushed, grew very pale. For a moment he was
+so overwhelmed by a realization of his act, and its threatening
+consequences, that his tongue refused to plead in his behalf. At last he
+stammered:
+
+"I did not mean to take the money--only to borrow a little of it, and
+return it that same night They got me drunk--I was not myself. But I
+assure you it will all be returned. I can--"
+
+"Officer, do your duty," interrupted Mr. Arnot sternly. "Too much time
+has been wasted over the affair already, but out of regard for his
+mother I wished to give this young man an opportunity to make an
+exculpating explanation or excuse, if it were in his power. Since,
+according to his own statement, he is guilty, the law must take its
+course."
+
+"You don't mean to send me to prison?" asked Haldane excitedly.
+
+"I could never send you to prison," replied Mr. Arnot coldly; "your own
+act may bring you there. But I do mean to send you before the justice
+who issued the warrant for your arrest, held by this officer. Unless you
+can find some one who will give bail in your behalf, I do not see why he
+should treat you differently from other offenders."
+
+"Mr. Arnot," cried Haldane passionately, "this is my first and only
+offence. You surely cannot be so cold-blooded as to inflict upon me this
+irreparable disgrace? It will kill my mother."
+
+"You should have thought of all this last evening," said Mr. Arnot. "If
+you persist in ignoring the fact, that it is your own deed that wounds
+your mother and inflicts disgrace upon yourself, the world will not.
+Come, Mr. Officer, serve your warrant, and remove your prisoner."
+
+"Is it your purpose that I shall be dragged through these streets in the
+broad light of day to a police court, and thence to jail?" demanded
+Haldane, a dark menace coming into his eyes, and finding expression in
+his livid face.
+
+"Yes, sir," said the man of business, rising and speaking in loud, stern
+tones, so that all in the office could hear; "I mean that you or any one
+else in my employ who abuses my trust and breaks the laws shall suffer
+their full penalty."
+
+"You are a hard-hearted wretch!" thundered Haldane; "you are a pagan
+idolater, and gold is your god. You crush your wife and servants at
+home; you crush the spirit and manhood of your clerks here by your
+cast-iron system and rules. If you had shown a little consideration for
+me you would have lost nothing, and I might have had a chance for a
+better life. But you tread me down into the mire of the streets; you
+make it impossible for me to appear among decent men again; you strike
+my mother and sisters as with a dagger. Curse you! if I go to jail, it
+will require you and all your clerks to take me there!" and he whirled
+on his heel, and struck out recklessly toward the door.
+
+The busy reporter was capsized by the first blow, and his nose long bore
+evidence that it is a serious matter to put that member into other
+people's affairs, even in a professional way.
+
+Before Haldane could pass from the inner office two strangers, who had
+been standing quietly at the door, each dexterously seized one of his
+hands with such an iron grasp that, after a momentary struggle, he gave
+up, conscious of the hopelessness of resistance.
+
+"If you will go quietly with us we will employ no force," said the man
+in uniform; "otherwise we must use these;" and Haldane shuddered as
+light steel manacles were produced. "These men are officers like myself,
+and you see that you stand no chance with three of us."
+
+"Well, lead on, then," was the sullen answer. "I will go quietly if you
+don't use those, but if you do, I will not yield while there is a breath
+of life in me."
+
+"A most desperate and hardened wretch!" ejaculated the reporter, sopping
+his streaming nose.
+
+With a dark look and deep malediction upon his employer, Haldane was led
+away.
+
+Mr. Arnot was in no gentle mood, for, while he had carried out his
+programme, the machinery of the legal process had not worked smoothly.
+Very disagreeable things had been said to him in the hearing of his
+clerks and others. "Of course, they are not true," thought the
+gentleman; "but his insolent words will go out in the accounts of the
+affair as surely as my own."
+
+If Haldane had been utterly overwhelmed and broken down, and had shown
+only the cringing spirit of a detected and whipped cur, Mr. Arnot's
+complacency would have been perfect. But as it was, the affair had gone
+forward in a jarring, uncomfortable manner, which annoyed and irritated
+him as would a defective, creaking piece of mechanism in one of his
+factories. Opposition, friction of any kind, only made his imperious
+will more intolerant of disobedience or neglect; therefore he summoned
+Pat in a tone whose very accent foretold the doom of the "intelligent
+Irishman."
+
+"Did I not order you to give no information to any one concerning what
+occurred last night?" he demanded in his sternest tone.
+
+Pat hitched and wriggled, for giving up his forty dollars a month was
+like a surgical operation. He saw that his master was incensed, and in
+no mood for extenuation; so he pleaded--
+
+"Misther Arnot, won't ye plaze slape on it afore ye gives me me
+discharge. If ye'll only think a bit about them newspaper men, ye'll
+know it could not be helped a' tall. If they suspicion that a man has
+anything in him that they're wantin' to know, they the same as put a
+corkscrew intil him, and pull till somethin' comes, and thin they make
+up the rest. Faix, sur, I niver could o' got by 'em aloive wid me
+letther onless a little o' the news had gone intil their rav'nous maws."
+
+"Then I'll find a man who can get by them, and who is able to obey my
+orders to the letter. The cashier will pay you up to date; then leave
+the premises."
+
+"Och, Misther Arnot, me woife'll be the death o' me, and thin ye'll have
+me bluid on yer sowl. Give me one more--"
+
+"Begone!" said his employer harshly; "too much time has been wasted
+already."
+
+Pat found that his case was so desperate that he became reckless, and,
+instead of slinking off, he, too showed the same insubordination and
+disregard for Mr. Arnot's power and dignity that had been so irritating
+in Haldane. Clapping his hat on one side of his head, and with such an
+insolent cant forward that it quite obscured his left eye, Pat rested
+his hands on his hips, and with one foot thrust out sidewise, he fixed
+his right eye on his employer with the expression of sardonic
+contemplation, and then delivered himself as follows:
+
+"The takin' up a few minits o' yer toime is a moighty tirrible waste,
+but the sindin' of a human bain to the divil is no waste a' tall a'
+tall: that's the way ye rason, is it? I allers heerd that yer in'ards
+were made o' cast-iron, and I can belave--"
+
+"Leave this office," thundered Mr. Arnot.
+
+"Begorry, ye can't put a man in jail for spakin' his moind, nor for
+spakin' the truth. If ye had given me a chance I'd been civil and
+obadient the rist o' me days. But whin ye act to'ard a man as if he was
+a lump o' dirt that ye can kick out o' the way, and go on, ye'll foind
+that the lump o' dirt will lave some marks on yer nice clothes. I tell
+ye till yer flinty ould face that ye'r a hard-hearted riprobate that 'ud
+grind a poor divil to paces as soon as any mash-shine in all yer big
+factories. Ye'll see the day whin ye'll be under somebody's heel
+yerself, bad luck to yez!"
+
+Pat's irate volubility flowed in such a torrent that even Mr. Arnot
+could not check it until he saw fit to drop the sluice-gates himself,
+which, with a contemptuous sniff, and an expression of concentrated
+wormwood and gall, he now did. Lifting his battered hat a little more
+toward the perpendicular, he went to the cashier's desk, obtained his
+money, and then jogged slowly and aimlessly down the street, leaving a
+wake of strange oaths behind him.
+
+Thus Mr. Arnot's system again ground out the expected result; but the
+plague of humanity was that it would not endure the grinding process
+with the same stolid, inert helplessness of other raw material. Though
+he had had his way in each instance, he grew more and more dissatisfied
+and out of sorts. This vituperation of himself would not tend to impress
+his employes with awe, and strike a wholesome fear in their hearts. The
+culprits, instead of slinking away overwhelmed with guilt and the weight
+of his displeasure, had acted and spoken as if he were a grim old
+tyrant; and he had a vague, uncomfortable feeling that his clerks in
+their hearts sided with them and against him. It even occurred to him
+that he was creating a relation between himself and those in his service
+similar to that existing between master and slaves; and that, instead of
+forming a community with identical interests, he was on one side and
+they on the other. But, with the infatuation of a selfish nature and
+imperious will, he muttered:
+
+"Curse them! I'll make them move in my grooves, or toss them out of the
+way!" Then, summoning his confidential clerk, he said:
+
+"You know all about the affair. You will oblige me by going to the
+office of the justice, and stating the case, with the prisoner's
+admissions. I do not care to appear further in the matter, except by
+proxy, unless it is necessary."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+A MEMORABLE MEETING
+
+
+Mrs. Arnot had looked upon Haldane's degradation with feelings akin to
+disgust and anger, but as long, sleepless hours passed, her thoughts
+grew more gentle and compassionate. She was by nature an advocate rather
+than a judge. Not the spirit of the disciples, that would call down fire
+from heaven, but the spirit of the Master, who sought to lay his
+healing, rescuing hand on every lost creature, always controlled her
+eventually. Human desert did not count as much with her as human need,
+and her own sorrows had made her heart tender toward the sufferings of
+others, even though well merited.
+
+The prospect that the handsome youth, the son of her old friend, would
+cast himself down to perish in the slough of dissipation, was a tragedy
+that wrung her heart with grief; and when at last she fell asleep it was
+with tears upon her face.
+
+Forebodings had followed Laura also, even into her dreams, and at last,
+in a frightful vision, she saw her uncle placing a giant on guard over
+the house. Her uncle had scarcely disappeared before Haldane tried to
+escape, but the giant raised his mighty club, as large and heavy as the
+mast of a ship, and was about to strike when she awoke with a violent
+start.
+
+In strange unison with her dream she still heard her uncle's voice in
+the garden below. She sprang to the window, half expecting to see the
+giant also, nor was she greatly reassured on observing an unknown man
+posted in the summer-house and left there. Mr. Arnot's mysterious
+action, and the fact that he was out at that early hour, added to the
+disquiet of mind which the events of the preceding night had created.
+
+Her simple home-life had hitherto flowed like a placid stream in sunny
+meadows, but now it seemed as if the stream were entering a forest where
+dark and ominous shadows were thrown across its surface. She was too
+womanly to be indifferent to the fate of any human being. At the same
+time she was still so much of a child, and so ignorant of the world,
+that Haldane's action, even as she understood it, loomed up before her
+imagination as something awful and portentous of unknown evils. She was
+oppressed with a feeling that a crushing blow impended over him. Now,
+almost as vividly as in her dream, she still saw the giant's club raised
+high to strike. If it were only in a fairy tale, her sensitive spirit
+would tremble at such a stroke, but inasmuch as it was falling on one
+who had avowed passionate love for her, she felt almost as if she must
+share in its weight. The idea of reciprocating any feeling that
+resembled his passion had at first been absurd, and now, in view of what
+he had shown himself capable, seemed impossible; and yet his strongly
+expressed regard for her created a sort of bond between them in spite of
+herself. She had realized the night before that he would be immediately
+dismissed and sent home in disgrace; but her dream, and the glimpse she
+had caught of her uncle and the observant stranger, who, as she saw,
+still maintained his position, suggested worse consequences, whose very
+vagueness made them all the more dreadful.
+
+As it was still a long time before the breakfast hour, she again sought
+her couch, and after a while fell into a troubled sleep, from which she
+was awakened by her aunt. Hastily dressing, she joined Mrs. Arnot at a
+late breakfast, and soon discovered that she was worried and anxious as
+well as herself.
+
+"Has Mr. Haldane gone out?" she asked.
+
+"Yes; and what perplexes me is that two strangers followed him to the
+street so rapidly that they almost seemed in pursuit."
+
+Then Laura related what she had seen, and her aunt's face grew pale and
+somewhat rigid as she recognized the fact that her husband was carrying
+out some plan, unknown to her, which might involve a cruel blow to her
+friend, Mrs. Haldane, and an overwhelming disgrace to Egbert Haldane. At
+the same time the thought flashed upon her that the young man's offence
+might be graver than she had supposed. But she only remarked quietly:
+
+"I will go down to the office and see your uncle after breakfast."
+
+"Oh, auntie, please let me go with you," said Laura nervously.
+
+"I may wish to see my husband alone," replied Mrs. Arnot doubtfully,
+foreseeing a possible interview which she would prefer her niece should
+not witness.
+
+"I will wait for you in the outer office, auntie, if you will only let
+me go. I am so unstrung that I cannot bear to be left in the house
+alone."
+
+"Very well, then; we'll go together, and a walk in the open air will do
+us both good."
+
+As Mrs. Arnot was finishing her breakfast she listlessly took up the
+morning "Courier," and with a sudden start read the heavy head-lines and
+paragraph which Pat's unlucky venture as a reporter had occasioned.
+
+"Come, Laura, let us go at once," said she, rising hastily; and as soon
+as they could prepare themselves for the street they started toward the
+central part of the city, each too busy with her own thoughts to speak
+often, and yet each having a grateful consciousness of unspoken sympathy
+and companionship.
+
+As they passed down the main street they saw a noisy crowd coming up the
+sidewalk toward them, and they crossed over to avoid it. But the
+approaching throng grew so large and boisterous that they deemed it
+prudent to enter the open door of a shop until it passed. Their somewhat
+elevated position gave them a commanding view, and a policeman's uniform
+at once indicated that it was an arrest that had drawn together the
+loose human atoms that are always drifting about the streets. The
+prisoner was followed by a retinue that might have bowed the head of an
+old and hardened offender with shame--rude, idle, half-grown boys, with
+their morbid interest in every thing tending to excitement and crime,
+seedy loungers drawn away from saloon doors where they are as surely to
+be found as certain coarse weeds in foul, neglected corners--a ragged,
+unkempt, repulsive jumble of humanity, that filled the street with
+gibes, slang, and profanity. Laura was about to retreat into the shop in
+utter disgust, when her aunt exclaimed in a tone of sharp distress:
+
+"Merciful Heaven! there is Egbert Haldane!"
+
+With something like a shock of terror she recognized her quondam lover,
+the youth who had stood at her side and turned her music. But as she saw
+him now there appeared an immeasurable gulf between them; while her pity
+for him was profound, it seemed as helpless and hopeless in his behalf
+as if he were a guilty spirit that was being dragged away to final doom.
+
+Her aunt's startled exclamation caught the young man's attention, for it
+was a voice that he would detect among a thousand, and he turned his
+livid face, with its agonized, hunted look, directly toward them.
+
+As their eyes met--as he saw the one of all the world that he then most
+dreaded to meet, Laura Romeyn, regarding him with a pale, frightened
+face, as if he were a monster, a wild beast, nay, worse, a common thief
+on his way to jail--he stopped abruptly, and for a second seemed to
+meditate some desperate act. But when he saw the rabble closing on him,
+and heard the officers growl in surly tones, "Move on," a sense of
+helplessness as well as of shame overwhelmed him. He shivered visibly,
+dashed his hat down over his eyes, and strode on, feeling at last that
+the obscurity of a prison cell would prove a welcome refuge.
+
+But Mrs. Arnot had recognized the intolerable suffering and humiliation
+stamped on the young man's features; she had seen the fearful, shrinking
+gaze at herself and Laura, the lurid gleam of desperation, and read
+correctly the despairing gesture by which he sought to hide from them,
+the rabble, and all the world, a countenance from which he already felt
+that shame had blotted all trace of manhood.
+
+Her face again wore a gray, rigid aspect, as if she had received a wound
+that touched her heart; and, scarcely waiting for the miscellaneous
+horde to pass, she took Laura's arm, and said briefly and almost
+sternly:
+
+"Come."
+
+Mr. Arnot's equanimity was again destined to be disturbed. Until he had
+commenced to carry out his scheme of striking fear into the hearts of
+his employes, he had derived much grim satisfaction from its
+contemplation. But never had a severe and unrelenting policy failed more
+signally, and a partial consciousness of the fact annoyed him like a
+constant stinging of nettles which he could not brush aside. When,
+therefore, his wife entered, he greeted her with his heaviest frown, and
+a certain twitching of his hands as he fumbled among his papers, which
+showed that the man who at times seemed composed of equal parts of iron
+and lead had at last reached a condition of nervous irritability which
+might result in an explosion of wrath; and yet he made a desperate
+effort at self-control, for he saw that his wife was in one of those
+moods which he had learned to regard with a wholesome respect.
+
+"You have sent Haldane to prison," she said calmly. Though her tone was
+so quiet, there was in it a certain depth and tremble which her husband
+well understood, but he only answered briefly:
+
+"Yes; he must go there if he finds no bail."
+
+"May I ask why?"
+
+"He robbed me of a thousand dollars."
+
+"Were there no extenuating circumstances?" Mrs. Arnot asked, after a
+slight start.
+
+"No, but many aggravating ones."
+
+"Did he not come here of his own accord?"
+
+"He could not have done otherwise. I had detectives watching him."
+
+"He could have tried to do otherwise. Did he not offer some
+explanation?"
+
+"What he said amounted to a confession of the crime."
+
+"What did he say?"
+
+"I have not charged my mind with all the rash, foolish words of the
+young scapegrace. It is sufficient for me that he and all in my employ
+received a lesson which they will not soon forget. I wish you would
+excuse me from further consideration of the subject at present. It has
+cost me too much time already."
+
+"You are correct," said Mrs. Arnot very quietly. "It is likely to prove
+a very costly affair. I tremble to think what your lesson may cost this
+young man, whom you have rendered reckless and desperate by this public
+disgrace; I tremble to think what this event may cost my friend, his
+mother. Of the pain it has cost me I will not speak--"
+
+"Madam," interrupted Mr. Arnot harshly, "permit me to say that this is
+an affair concerning which a sentimental woman can have no correct
+understanding. I propose to carry on my business in the way which
+experience has taught me is wise, and, with all respect to yourself, I
+would suggest that in these matters of business I am in my own
+province."
+
+The ashen hue deepened upon Mrs. Arnot's face, but she answered quietly:
+
+"I do not wish to overstep the bounds which should justly limit my
+action and my interest in this matter. You will also do me the justice
+to remember that I have never interfered in your business, and have
+rarely asked you about it, though in the world's estimation I would have
+some right to do so. But if such harshness, if such disastrous cruelty,
+is necessary to your business, I must withdraw my means from it, for I
+could not receive money stained, as it were, with blood. But of this
+hereafter. I will now telegraph Mrs. Haldane to come directly to our
+house--"
+
+"To our house!" cried Mr. Arnot, perfectly aghast.
+
+"Certainly. Can you suppose that, burdened with this intolerable
+disgrace, she could endure the publicity of a hotel? I shall next visit
+Haldane, for as I saw him in the street, with the rabble following, he
+looked desperate enough to destroy himself."
+
+"Now, I protest against all this weak sentimentality," said Mr. Arnot,
+rising. "You take sides with a robber against your husband."
+
+"I do not make light of Haldane's offence to you, and certainly shall
+not to him. But it is his first offence, as far as we know, and, though
+you have not seen fit to inform me of the circumstances, I cannot
+believe that he committed a cool, deliberate theft. He could have been
+made to feel his guilt without being crushed. The very gravity of his
+wrong action might have awakened him to his danger, and have been the
+turning-point of his life. He should have had at least one chance--God
+gives us many."
+
+"Well, well," said Mr. Arnot impatiently, "let his mother return the
+money, and I will not prosecute. But why need Mrs. Haldane come to
+Hillaton? All can be arranged by her lawyer."
+
+"You know little of a mother's feelings if you can suppose she will not
+come instantly."
+
+"Well, then, when the money is paid she can take him home, that is,
+after the forms of law are complied with."
+
+"But he must remain in prison till the money is paid?"
+
+"Certainly."
+
+"You intimated that if any one went bail for him he need not go to
+prison. I will become his security."
+
+"O nonsense! I might as well give bail myself."
+
+"Has he reached the prison yet?"
+
+"I suppose he has," replied Mr. Arnot, taking care to give no hint of
+the preliminary examination, for it would have annoyed him excessively
+to have his wife appear at a police court almost in the light of an
+antagonist to himself. And yet his stubborn pride would not permit him
+to yield, and carry out with considerate delicacy the merciful policy
+upon which he saw she was bent.
+
+"Good-morning," said his wife very quietly, and she at once left her
+husband's private room. Laura rose from her chair in the outer office
+and welcomed her gladly, for, in her nervous trepidation, the minutes
+had seemed like hours. Mrs. Arnot went to a telegraph office, and sent
+the following despatch to Mrs. Haldane:
+
+"Come to my house at once. Your son is well, but has met with
+misfortune."
+
+She then, with Laura, returned immediately home and ordered her carriage
+for a visit to the prison. She also remembered with provident care that
+the young man could not have tasted food that morning.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+OUR KNIGHT IN JAIL
+
+
+As Haldane emerged from the office into the open glare of the street, he
+was oppressed with such an intolerable sense of shame that he became
+sick and faint, and tottered against the policeman, who took no other
+notice of his condition than the utterance of a jocular remark:
+
+"You haven't got over your drunk yet, I'm athinking."
+
+Haldane made no reply, and the physical weakness gradually passed away.
+As his stunned and bewildered mind regained the power to act, he became
+conscious of a morbid curiosity to see how he was regarded by those whom
+he met. He knew that their manner would pierce like sword-thrusts, and
+yet every scornful or averted face had a cruel fascination.
+
+With a bitterness of which his young heart had never before had even a
+faint conception, he remembered that this cold and contemptuous, this
+scoffing and jeering world was the same in which only yesterday he
+proposed to tower in such lofty grandeur that the maiden who had
+slighted him should be consumed with vain regret in memory of her lost
+opportunity. He had, indeed, gained eminence speedily. All the town was
+hearing of him; but the pedestal which lifted him so high was composed
+equally of crime and folly, and he felt as if he might stand as a
+monument of shame.
+
+But his grim and legal guardians tramped along in the most stolid and
+indifferent manner. The gathering rabble at their heels had no terror
+for them. Indeed, they rather enjoyed parading before respectable
+citizens this dangerous substratum of society. It was a delicate way of
+saying, "Behold in these your peril, and in us your defence. We are
+necessary to your peace and security. Respect us and pay us well."
+
+They represented the majesty of the law, which could lay its strong hand
+on high and low alike, and the publicity which was like a scorching fire
+to Haldane brought honor to them.
+
+Although the journey seemed interminable to the culprit, they were not
+long in reaching the police court, where the magistrate presiding had
+already entered on his duties. All night long, and throughout the entire
+city, the scavengers of the law had been at work, and now, as a result,
+every miserable atom of humanity that had made itself a pestilential
+offence to society was gathered here to be disposed of according to
+sanatory moral rules.
+
+Hillaton was a comparatively well-behaved and decorous city; but in
+every large community there is always a certain amount of human
+sediment, and Haldane felt that he had fallen low indeed, when he found
+himself classed and huddled with miserable objects whose existence he
+had never before realized. Near him stood men who apparently had barely
+enough humanity left to make their dominating animal natures more
+dangerous and difficult to control. To the instincts of a beast was
+added something of a man's intelligence, but so developed that it was
+often little more than cunning. If, when throwing away his manhood, man
+becomes a creature more to be dreaded than a beast or venomous reptile,
+whichever he happens most to resemble, woman, parting with her
+womanhood, scarcely finds her counterpart even in the most noxious forms
+of earthly existence. She becomes, in her perversion, something that is
+unnatural and monstrous; something, so opposite to the Creator's design,
+as to suggest it only in caricature, or, more often, in fiendish
+mockery. The Gorgons, Sirens, and Harpies of the ancients are scarcely
+myths, for their fabled forms only too accurately portray, not the
+superficial and transient outward appearance, but the enduring character
+within.
+
+Side by side with Haldane stood a creature whose dishevelled, rusty
+hair, blotched and bloated features, wanton, cunning, restless eyes,
+combined perfectly to form the head of the mythological Harpy. It
+required little effort of the imagination to believe that her foul,
+bedraggled dress concealed the "wings and talons of the vulture." Being
+still unsteady from her night's debauch, she leaned against the young
+man, and when he shrank in loathing away, she, to annoy him, clasped him
+in her arms, to the uproarious merriment of the miscellaneous crowd that
+is ever present at a police court. Haldane broke away from her grasp
+with such force as to make quite a commotion, and at the same time said
+loudly and fiercely to the officer who had arrested him:
+
+"You may have power to take me to jail, but you have not, and shall not
+have, the right nor the power to subject me to such indignities."
+
+"Silence there! Keep order in the court!" commanded the judge.
+
+The officer removed his prisoner a little further apart from the others,
+growling as he did so:
+
+"If you don't like your company, you should have kept out of it."
+
+Even in his overwhelming anxiety and distress Haldane could not forbear
+giving a few curious glances at his companions. He had dropped out of
+his old world into a new one, and these were its inhabitants. In their
+degradation and misery he seemed to see himself and his future
+reflected. What had the policeman said?--"Your company," and with a
+keener pang than he had yet experienced he realized that this was his
+company, that he now belonged to the criminal classes. He who yesterday
+had the right to speak to Laura Romeyn, was now herded with drunkards,
+thieves, and prostitutes; he who yesterday could enter Mrs. Arnot's
+parlor, might now as easily enter heaven. As the truth of his situation
+gradually dawned upon him, he felt as if an icy hand were closing upon
+his heart.
+
+But little time, however, was given him for observation or bitter
+revery. With the rapid and routine-like manner of one made both callous
+and expert by long experience, the magistrate was sorting and disposing
+of the miserable waifs. Now he has before him the inmates of a
+"disorderly house," upon which a "raid" had been made the previous
+night. What is that fair young girl with blue eyes doing among those
+coarse-featured human dregs, her companions? She looks like a white lily
+that has been dropped into a puddle. Perhaps that delicate and
+attractive form is but a disguise for the Harpy's wings and claws.
+Perhaps a gross, bestial spirit is masked by her oval Madonna-like face.
+Perhaps she is the victim of one upon whom God will wreak his vengeance
+forever, though society has for him scarcely a frown.
+
+The puddle is suddenly drained off into some law-ordained receptacle,
+and the white lily is swept away with it. She will not long suggest a
+flower that has been dropped into the gutter. The stains upon her soul
+will creep up into her face, and make her hideous like the rest.
+
+The case of Egbert Haldane was next called. As the policeman had said,
+his own admissions were now used against him, for the confidential
+clerk, and, if there was need, the broken-nosed reporter, were on hand
+to testify to all that had been said. The young man made no attempt to
+conceal, but tried to explain more fully the circumstances which led to
+the act, hoping that in them the justice would find such extenuating
+elements as would prevent a committal to prison.
+
+The judge recognized and openly acknowledged the fact that it was not a
+case of deliberate wrongdoing, and he ordered the arrest of the superior
+young gentleman who had introduced the New York gamblers to their
+victim; and yet in the eye of the law it was a clear case of
+embezzlement; and, as Mr. Arnot's friend, the magistrate felt little
+disposition to prevent things from taking their usual course. The
+prisoner must either furnish bail at once, or be committed until he
+could do so, or until the case could be properly tried. As Haldane was a
+comparative stranger in Hillaton there was no one to whom he felt he
+could apply, and he supposed it would require some little time for his
+mother to arrange the matter. Upon his signifying that he could not
+furnish bail immediately, the judge promptly ordered his committal to
+the common jail of the city, which happened to be at some distance from
+the building then employed for the preliminary examinations.
+
+It was while on his way to this place of detention that he heard Mrs.
+Arnot's voice, and encountered her eyes and those of Laura Romeyn. His
+first impulse was to end both his suffering and himself by some
+desperate act, but he was powerless even to harm himself.
+
+The limit of endurance, however had been reached. The very worst that he
+could imagine had befallen him. Laura Romeyn had looked upon his
+unutterable shame and disgrace. From a quivering and almost agonizing
+sensibility to his situation he reacted into sullen indifference. He no
+longer saw the sun shining in the sky, nor the familiar sights of the
+street; he no longer heard nor heeded the jeering rabble that came
+tramping after. He became for the time scarcely more than a piece of
+mechanism, that barely retained the power of voluntary motion, but had
+lost ability to feel and think. When, at last, he entered his narrow
+cell, eight feet by eight, the wish half formed itself in his mind that
+it was six feet by two, and that he might hide in it forever.
+
+He sat down on the rough wooden couch which formed the only furniture of
+the room, and buried his face in his hands, conscious only of a dull,
+leaden weight of pain. He made no effort to obtain legal counsel or to
+communicate his situation to his mother. Indeed, he dreaded to see her,
+and he felt that he could not look his sisters in the face again. The
+prison cell seemed a refuge from the terrible scorn of the world, and
+his present impulse was to cower behind its thick walls for the rest of
+his life.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+MR. ARNOT'S SYSTEM WORKS BADLY
+
+
+Mr. Arnot was so disturbed by his wife's visit that he found it
+impossible to return to the routine of business, and, instead of
+maintaining the cold, lofty bearing of a man whose imperious will awed
+and controlled all within its sphere, he fumed up and down his office
+like one who had been caught in the toils himself. In the morning it had
+seemed that there could not have been a fairer opportunity to vindicate
+his iron system, and make it irresistible. The offending subject in his
+business realm should receive due punishment, and all the rest be taught
+that they were governed by inexorable laws, which would be executed with
+the certainty and precision with which the wheels moved in a great
+factory under the steady impulse of the motor power. But the whole
+matter now bade fair to end in a tangled snarl, whose final issue no one
+could foretell.
+
+He was sensitive to public opinion, and had supposed that his course
+would be upheld and applauded, and he be commended as a conservator of
+public morals. He now feared, however, that he would be portrayed as
+harsh, grasping, and unfeeling. It did not trouble him that he was so,
+but that he would be made to appear so.
+
+But his wife's words in reference to the withdrawal of her large
+property from his business was a far more serious consideration. He had
+learned how resolute and unswerving she could be in matters of
+conscience, and he knew that she was not in the habit of making idle
+threats in moments of irritation. If, just at this time, when he was
+widely extending his business, she should demand a separate investment
+of her means, it would embarrass and cripple him in no slight degree. If
+this should be one of the results of his master-stroke, he would have
+reason to curse his brilliant policy all his days. He would now be only
+too glad to get rid of the Haldane affair on any terms, for thus far it
+had proved only a source of annoyance and mortification. He was somewhat
+consoled, however, when his confidential clerk returned and intimated
+that the examination before the justice had been brief; that Haldane had
+eagerly stated his case to the justice, but when that dignitary remarked
+that it was a clear case of embezzlement, and that he would have to
+commit the prisoner unless some one went security for his future
+appearance, the young fellow had grown sullen and answered, "Send me to
+jail then; I have no friends in this accursed city."
+
+To men of the law and of sense the case was as clear as daylight.
+
+But Mr. Arnot was not by any means through with his disagreeable
+experiences. He had been a manufacturer sufficiently long to know that
+when a piece of machinery is set in motion, not merely the wheels
+nearest to one will move, but also others that for the moment may be out
+of sight. He who proposes to have a decided influence upon a
+fellow-creature's destiny should remember our complicated relations, for
+he cannot lay his strong grasp upon one life without becoming entangled
+in the interests of many others.
+
+Mr. Arnot was finding this out to his cost, for he had hardly composed
+himself to his writing again before there was a rustle of a lady's
+garments in the outer office, and a hasty step across the threshold of
+his private _sanctum_. Looking up, he saw, to his dismay, the pale,
+frightened face of Mrs. Haldane.
+
+"Where is Egbert?--where is my son?" she asked abruptly.
+
+At that moment Mr. Arnot admitted to himself that he had never been
+asked so embarrassing a question in all his life. Before him was his
+wife's friend, a lady of the highest social rank, and she was so
+unmistakably a lady that he could treat her with only the utmost
+deference. He saw with alarm himself the mother's nervous and trembling
+apprehension, for there was scarcely anything under heaven that he would
+not rather face than a scene with a hysterical woman. If this was to be
+the climax of his policy he would rather have lost the thousand dollars
+than have had it occur. Rising from his seat, he said awkwardly:
+
+"Really, madam, I did not expect you here this morning."
+
+"I was on my way to New York, and decided to stop and give my son a
+surprise. But this paper--this dreadful report--what does it mean?"
+
+"I am sorry to say, madam, it is all too true," replied Mr. Arnot
+uneasily. "Please take a chair, or perhaps it would be better for you to
+go at once to our house and see Mrs. Arnot," he added, now glad to
+escape the interview on any terms.
+
+"What is too true?" she gasped.
+
+"I think you had better see Mrs. Arnot; she will explain," said the
+unhappy man, who felt that his system was tumbling in chaos about his
+ears. "Let me assist you to your carriage."
+
+"Do you think I can endure the suspense of another moment? In mercy
+speak--tell me the worst!"
+
+"Well," said Mr. Arnot, with a shiver like that of one about to plunge
+into a cold bath, "I suppose you will learn sooner or later that your
+son has committed a very wrong act. But," he added hastily, on seeing
+Mrs. Haldane's increasing pallor, "there are extenuating
+circumstances--at least, I shall act as if there were."
+
+"But what has he done--where is he?" cried the mother in agony. Then she
+added in a frightened whisper, "But the matter can be hushed up--there
+need be no publicity--oh, that would kill me! Please take steps--"
+
+"Mr. Arnot," said a young man just entering, and speaking in a piping,
+penetrating voice," I represent the 'Evening Spy.' I wish to obtain from
+you for publication the particulars of this disgraceful affair" Then,
+seeing Mrs. Haldane, who had dropped her veil, and was trembling
+violently, he added, "I hope I am not intruding; I--"
+
+"Yes, sir, you are intruding," said Mr. Arnot harshly.
+
+"Then, perhaps, sir, you will be so kind as to step outside for a
+moment. I can take down your words rapidly, and--"
+
+"Step outside yourself, sir. I have nothing whatever to say to you."
+
+"I beg you to reconsider that decision, sir. Of course, a full account
+of the affair must appear in this evening's 'Spy.' It will be your own
+fault if it is not true in all respects. It is said that you have acted
+harshly in the matter--that it was young Haldane's first offence,
+and--"
+
+"Leave my office!" thundered Mr. Arnot.
+
+The lynx-eyed reporter, while speaking thus rapidly, had been
+scrutinizing the veiled and trembling lady, and he was scarcely
+disappointed that she now rose hastily, and threw back her veil as she
+said eagerly:
+
+"Why must the whole affair be published? You say truly that his offence,
+whatever it is, is his first. Surely the editor of your paper will not
+be so cruel as to blast a young man forever with disgrace!"
+
+"Mrs. Haldane, I presume," said the reporter, tracing a few
+hieroglyphics in his note-book.
+
+"Yes," continued the lady, speaking from the impulse of her heart,
+rather than from any correct knowledge of the world, "and I will pay
+willingly any amount to have the whole matter quietly dropped. I could
+not endure anything of this kind, for I have no husband to shelter me,
+and the boy has no father to protect him."
+
+Mr. Arnot groaned in spirit that he had not considered this case in any
+of its aspects save those which related to his business. He had formed
+the habit of regarding all other considerations as unworthy of
+attention, but here, certainly, was a most disagreeable exception.
+
+"You touch my feelings deeply," said the reporter, in a tone that never
+for a second lost its professional cadence, "but I much regret that your
+hopes cannot be realized. Your son's act could scarcely be kept a secret
+after the fact--known to all--that he has been openly dragged to prison
+through the streets," and the gatherer of news and sensations kept an
+eye on each of his victims as he made this statement. A cabalistic sign
+in his note-book indicated the visible wincing of the enraged and
+half-distracted manufacturer, whose system was like an engine off the
+track, hissing and helpless; and a few other equally obscure marks
+suggested to the initiated the lady's words as she half shrieked:
+
+"My son dragged through the streets to prison! By whom--who could do so
+dreadful?"--and she sank shudderingly into a chair, and covered her face
+with her hands, as if to shut out a harrowing vision.
+
+"I regret to say, madam, that it was by a policeman," added the
+reporter.
+
+"And thither a policeman shall drag you, if you do not instantly vacate
+these premises!" said Mr. Arnot, hoarse with rage.
+
+"Thank you for your courtesy," answered the reporter, shutting his book
+with a snap like that of a steel trap. "I have now about all the points
+I wish to get here. I understand that Mr. Patrick M'Cabe is no longer
+under any obligations to you, and from him I can learn additional
+particulars. Good-morning."
+
+"Yes, go to that unsullied source of truth, whom I have just discharged
+for lying and disobedience. Go to perdition, also, if you please; but
+take yourself out of my office," said Mr. Arnot recklessly, for he was
+growing desperate from the unexpected complications of the case. Then he
+summoned one of his clerks, and said in a tone of authority, "Take this
+lady to my residence, and leave her in the care of Mrs. Arnot."
+
+Mrs. Haldane rose unsteadily, and tottered toward the door.
+
+"No," said she bitterly; "I may faint in the street, but I will not go
+to
+your house."
+
+"Then assist the lady to her carriage;" and Mr. Arnot turned the key of
+his private office with muttered imprecations upon the whole wretched
+affair.
+
+"Whither shall I tell the man to drive?" asked the clerk, after Mrs.
+Haldane had sunk back exhausted on the seat.
+
+The lady put her hand to her brow, and tried to collect her distracted
+thoughts, and, after a moment's hesitation, said:
+
+"To the prison."
+
+The carriage containing Mrs. Haldane stopped at last before the gloomy
+massive building, the upper part of which was used as a court-room and
+offices for city and county officials, while in the basement were
+constructed the cells of the prison. It required a desperate effort on
+the part of the timid and delicate lady, who for years had almost been a
+recluse from the world, to summon courage to alight and approach a place
+that to her abounded in many and indefinite horrors. She was too
+preoccupied to observe that another carriage had drawn up to the
+entrance, and the first intimation that she had of Mrs. Arnot's presence
+occurred when that lady took her hand in the shadow of the porch, and
+said:
+
+"Mrs. Haldane, I am greatly surprised to see you here; but you can rely
+upon me as a true friend throughout this trial. I shall do all in my
+power to--"
+
+After the first violent start caused by her disturbed nervous condition,
+Mrs. Haldane asked, in a reproachful and almost passionate tone:
+
+"Why did you not prevent--" and then she hesitated, as if she could not
+bring herself to utter the concluding words.
+
+"I could not; I did not know; but since I heard I have been doing
+everything in my power."
+
+"It was your husband who--"
+
+"Yes," replied Mrs. Arnot, sadly, completing in thought her friend's
+unfinished sentence. "But I had no part in the act, and no knowledge of
+it until a short time since. I am now doing all I can to procure your
+son's speedy release. My husband's action has been perfectly legal, and
+we, who would temper justice with mercy, must do so in a legal way.
+Permit me to introduce you to my friend, Mr. Melville. He can both
+advise us and carry out such arrangements as are necessary;" and Mrs.
+Haldane saw that Mrs. Arnot was accompanied by a gentleman, whom in her
+distress she had not hitherto noticed.
+
+The janitor now opened the door, and ushered them into a very plain
+apartment, used both as an office and reception-room. Mrs. Haldane was
+so overcome by her emotion that her friend led her to a chair, and
+continued her reassuring words in a low voice designed for her ears
+alone:
+
+"Mr. Melville is a lawyer, and knows how to manage these matters. You
+may trust him implicitly. I will give security for your son's future
+appearance, should it be necessary, and I am quite satisfied it will not
+be, as my husband has promised me that he will not prosecute if the
+money is refunded."
+
+"I would have paid ten times the amount--anything rather than have
+suffered this public disgrace," sobbed the poor woman, who, true to her
+instincts and life-long habit of thought, dwelt more upon the consequent
+shame of her son's act than its moral character.
+
+"Mr. Melville says he will give bail in his own name for me," resumed
+Mrs. Arnot, "as, of course, I do not wish to appear to be acting in
+opposition to my husband. Indeed, I am not, for he is willing that some
+such an arrangement should be made. He has very many in his employ, and
+feels that he must be governed by rigid rules. Mr. Melville assures me
+that he can speedily effect Egbert's release. Perhaps it will save you
+pain to go at once to our house and meet your son there."
+
+"No," replied the mother, rising, "I wish to see him at once. I _do_
+appreciate _your_ kindness, but I cannot go to the place which shelters
+your husband. I can never forgive him. Nor can I go to a hotel. I would
+rather stay in this prison until I can hide myself and my miserable son
+in our own home. Oh, how dark and dreadful are God's ways! To think that
+the boy that I had brought up in the Church, as it were, should show
+such unnatural depravity!" Then, stepping to the door, she said to the
+under-sheriff in waiting, "Please take me to my son at once, if
+possible."
+
+"Would you like me to go with you?" asked Mrs. Arnot, gently.
+
+"Yes, yes! for I may faint on the way. Oh, how differently this day is
+turning out from what I expected! I was in hopes that Egbert could meet
+me in a little trip to New York, and I find him in prison!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV
+
+HALDANE'S RESOLVE
+
+
+It was not in accordance with nature nor with Haldane's peculiar
+temperament that he should remain long under a stony paralysis of shame
+and despair. Though tall and manlike in appearance, he was not a man.
+Boyish traits and impulses still lingered; indeed, they had been
+fostered and maintained longer than usual by a fond and indulgent
+mother. It was not an evidence of weakness, but rather a wholesome
+instinct of nature, that his thoughts should gradually find courage to
+go to that mother as his only source of comfort and help. She, at least,
+would not scorn him, and with her he might find a less dismal refuge
+than his narrow cell, should it be possible to escape imprisonment. If
+it were not, he was too young and unacquainted with misfortune not to
+long for a few kind words of comfort.
+
+He did not even imagine that Mrs. Arnot, the wife of his employer, would
+come near him in his deep disgrace. Even the thought of her kindness and
+his requital of it now stung him to the quick, and he fairly writhed as
+he pictured to himself the scorn that must have been on Laura's face as
+she saw him on his way to prison like a common thief.
+
+As he remembered how full of rich promise life was but a few days since,
+and how all had changed even more swiftly and unexpectedly than the
+grotesque events of a horrid dream, he bowed his head in his hands and
+sobbed like a grief-stricken child.
+
+"O mother, mother," he groaned, "if I could only hear your voice and
+feel your touch, a little of this crushing weight might be lifted off my
+heart!"
+
+Growing calmer after a time, he was able to consider his situation more
+connectedly, and he was about to summon the sheriff in charge of the
+prison, that he might telegraph his mother, when he heard her voice as,
+in the company of that official, she was seeking her way to him.
+
+He shrank back in his cell. His heart beat violently as he heard the
+rustle of her dress. The sheriff unlocked the grated iron door which led
+to the long, narrow corridor into which the cells opened, and to which
+prisoners had access during the day.
+
+"He's in that cell, ladies," said the officer's voice, and then, with
+commendable delicacy, withdrew, having first ordered the prisoners in
+his charge to their cells.
+
+"Lean upon my arm," urged a gentle voice, which Haldane recognized as
+that of Mrs. Arnot.
+
+"O, this is awful!" moaned the stricken woman; "this is more than
+_I_ can endure."
+
+The pronoun she used threw a chill on the heart of her son, but when she
+tottered to the door of his cell he sprang forward with the low,
+appealing cry:
+
+"Mother!"
+
+But the poor gentlewoman was so overcome that she sank down on a bench
+by the door, and, with her face buried in her hands, as if to shut out a
+vision that would blast her, she rocked back and forth in anguish, as
+she groaned:
+
+"O Egbert, Egbert! you have disgraced me, you have disgraced your
+sisters, you have disgraced yourself beyond remedy. O God! what have I
+done to merit this awful, this overwhelming disaster?"
+
+With deep pain and solicitude Mrs. Arnot watched the young man's face as
+the light from the grated window fell upon it. The appeal that trembled
+in his voice had been more plainly manifest in his face, which had worn
+an eager and hopeful expression, and even suggested the spirit of the
+little child when in some painful emergency it turns to its first and
+natural protector.
+
+But most marked was the change caused by the mother's lamentable want of
+tact and self-control, for that same face became stony and sullen.
+Instead of showing a spirit which deep distress and crushing disaster
+had made almost childlike in its readiness to receive a mother's comfort
+once more, he suddenly became, in appearance, a hardened criminal.
+
+Mrs. Arnot longed to undo by her kindness the evil which her friend was
+unwittingly causing, but could not come between mother and son. She
+stooped down, however, and whispered:
+
+"Mrs. Haldane, speak kindly to your boy. He looked to you for sympathy.
+Do not let him feel that you, like the world, are against him."
+
+"O no," said Mrs. Haldane, her sobs ceasing somewhat, "I mean to do my
+duty by him. He shall always have a good home, but oh! what a blight and
+a shadow he has brought to that home! That I should have ever lived to
+see this day! O Egbert, Egbert! your sisters will have to live like
+nuns, for they can never even go out upon the street again; and to think
+that the finger of scorn should be pointed after you in the city where
+your father made our name so honorable!"
+
+"It never shall be," said Haldane coldly. "You have only to leave me in
+prison to be rid of me a long time."
+
+"Leave you, in prison!" exclaimed his mother; "I would as soon stay here
+myself. No; through Mrs. Arnot's kindness, arrangements are made for
+your release. I shall then take you to our miserable home as soon as
+possible."
+
+"I am not going home."
+
+"Now, this is too much! What will you do?"
+
+"I shall remain in this city," he replied, speaking from an angry
+impulse. "It was here I fell and covered myself with shame, and I shall
+here fight my way back to the position I lost. The time shall come when
+you will no longer say I'm a disgrace to you and my sisters. My heart
+was breaking, and the first word you greet me with is 'disgrace'; and if
+I went home, disgrace would always be in your mind, if not upon your
+tongue. I should have the word and thought kept before me till I went
+mad. If I go home all my old acquaintances would sneer at me as a
+mean-spirited cur, whose best exploit was to get in jail, and when his
+mother obtained his release he could do nothing more manly than hide
+behind her apron the rest of his days. As far as I can judge, you and my
+sisters would have no better opinion of me. I have been a wicked fool, I
+admit, but I was not a deliberate thief. I did hope for a little comfort
+from you. But since all the world is against me, I'll face and fight the
+world. I have been dragged through these streets, the scorn of every
+one, and I will remain in this city until I compel the respect of its
+proudest citizen."
+
+The moment he ceased his passionate utterance, Mrs. Arnot said kindly
+and gravely:
+
+"Egbert, you are mistaken. There was no scorn in my eyes, but rather
+deep pity and sorrow. While your course has been very wrong, you have no
+occasion to despair, and as long as you will try to become a true man
+you shall have my sympathy and friendship. You do not understand your
+mother. She loves you as truly as ever, and is willing to make any
+sacrifice for you. Only, her fuller knowledge of the world makes her
+realize more truly than you yet can the consequences of your act. The
+sudden shock has overwhelmed her. Her distress shows how deeply she is
+wounded, and you should try to comfort her by a lifetime of kindness."
+
+"The best way I can comfort her is by deeds that will wipe out the
+memory of my disgrace; and," he continued, his impulsive, sanguine
+spirit kindling with the thought and prospect, "I will regain all and
+more than I have lost. The time shall come when neither she nor my
+sisters will have occasion to blush for me, nor to seclude themselves
+from the world because of their relation to me."
+
+"I should think my heart was sufficiently crushed and broken already,"
+Mrs. Haldane sobbed, "without your adding to its burden by charging me
+with being an unnatural mother. I cannot understand how a boy brought up
+as religiously as you have been can show such strange depravity. The
+idea that a child of mine could do anything which would bring him to
+such a place as this!"
+
+His mother's words and manner seemed to exasperate her son beyond
+endurance, and he exclaimed passionately:
+
+"Well, curse it all! I am here. What's the use of harping on that any
+longer? Can't you listen when I say I want to retrieve myself? As to my
+religious bringing up, it never did me a particle of good. If you had
+whipped my infernal nonsense out of me, and made me mind when I was
+little--There, there, mother," he concluded more considerately, as she
+began to grow hysterical under his words, "do, for God's sake, be more
+composed! We can't help what has happened now. I'll either change the
+world's opinion of me, or else get out of it."
+
+"How can I be composed when you talk in so dreadful a manner? You can't
+change the world's opinion. It never forgives and never forgets. It's
+the same as if you had said, I'll either do what is impossible or throw
+away my life!"
+
+"My dear Mrs. Haldane," said Mrs. Arnot, gently but firmly, "your just
+and natural grief is such that you cannot now judge correctly and wisely
+concerning this matter. The emergency is so unexpected and so grave that
+neither you nor your son should form opinions or make resolves until
+there has been time for calmer thought. Let me take you home with me
+now, and as soon as Egbert is released he can join you there."
+
+"No, Mrs. Arnot," said Haldane decidedly; "I shall never enter your
+parlor again until I can enter it as a gentleman--as one whom your
+other guests, should I meet them, would recognize as a gentleman. Your
+kindness is as great as it is unexpected, but I shall take no mean
+advantage of it."
+
+"Well, then," said Mrs. Arnot with a sigh, "nothing can be gained by
+prolonging this painful interview. We are detaining Mr. Melville, and
+delaying Egbert's release. Come, Mrs. Haldane; I can take you to the
+private entrance of a quiet hotel, where you can be entirely secluded
+until you are ready to return home. Egbert can come there as soon as the
+needful legal forms are complied with."
+
+"No," said the young man with his former decision, "mother and I must
+take leave of each other here. Mother wants no jail-birds calling on her
+at the hotel. When I have regained my social footing--when she is ready
+to take my arm and walk up Main street of this city--then she shall see
+me as often as she wishes. It was my own cursed folly that brought me to
+the gutter, and if mother will pay the price of my freedom, I will alone
+and unaided make my way back among the highest and proudest."
+
+"I sincerely hope you may win such a position," said Mrs. Arnot gravely,
+"and it is not impossible for you to do so, though I wish you would make
+the attempt in a different spirit; but please remember that these
+considerations do not satisfy and comfort a mother's heart. You should
+think of all her past kindness; you should realize how deeply you have
+now wounded her, and strive with tenderness and patience to mitigate the
+blow."
+
+"Mother, I am sorry, more sorry than you can ever know," he said,
+advancing to her side and taking her hand, "and I have been bitterly
+punished; but I did not mean to do what I did; I was drunk--"
+
+"Drunk!" gasped the mother, "merciful Heaven!"
+
+"Yes, drunk--may the next drop of wine I take choke me!--and I did not
+know what I was doing. But do not despair of me. I feel that I have it
+in me to make a man yet. Go now with Mrs. Arnot, and aid in her kind
+efforts to procure my release. When you have succeeded, return home, and
+think of me as well as you can until I make you think better," and he
+raised and kissed her with something like tenderness, and then placed
+within Mrs. Arnot's arm the hand of the poor weak woman, who had become
+so faint and exhausted from her conflicting emotions that she submitted
+to be led away after a feeble remonstrance.
+
+Mrs. Arnot sent Mr. Melville to the prisoner, and also the food she had
+brought. She then took Mrs. Haldane to a hotel, where, in the seclusion
+of her room, she could have every attention and comfort. With many
+reassuring words she promised to call later in the day, and if possible
+bring with her the unhappy cause of the poor gentlewoman's distress.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI
+
+THE IMPULSES OF WOUNDED PRIDE
+
+
+That which at first was little more than an impulse, caused by wounded
+pride, speedily developed into a settled purpose, and Haldane would
+leave his prison cell fully bent on achieving great things. In
+accordance with a tendency in impulsive natures, he reacted from
+something like despair into quite a sanguine and heroic mood. He would
+"face and fight the world, ay, and conquer it, too." He would go out
+into the streets which had witnessed his disgrace, and, penniless,
+empty-handed, dowered only with shame, he would prove his manhood by
+winning a position that would compel respect and more than respect.
+
+Mrs. Arnot, who returned immediately to the prison, was puzzled to know
+how to deal with him. She approved of his resolution to remain in
+Hillaton, and of his purpose to regain respect and position on the very
+spot, as it were, where, by his crime and folly, he had lost both. She
+was satisfied that such a course promised far better for the future than
+a return to his mother's luxurious home. With all its beauty and comfort
+it would become to him almost inevitably a slough, both of "despond" and
+of dissipation--dissipation of the worst and most hopeless kind,
+wherein the victim's ruling motive is to get rid of self. The fact that
+the young man was capable of turning upon and facing a scornful and
+hostile world was a good and hopeful sign. If he had been willing to
+slink away with his mother, bent only on escape from punishment and on
+the continuance of animal enjoyment, Mrs. Arnot would have felt that his
+nature was not sufficiently leavened with manhood to give hope of
+reform.
+
+But while his action did suggest hope, it also contained elements of
+discouragement. She did not find fault with what he proposed to do, but
+with the spirit in which he was entering on his most difficult task. His
+knowledge of the world was so crude and partial that he did not at all
+realize the herculean labor that he now became eager to attempt; and he
+was bent on accomplishing everything in a way that would minister to his
+own pride, and proposed to be under obligations to no one.
+
+Mrs. Arnot, with her deep and long experience, knew how vitally
+important it is that human endeavor should be supplemented by divine
+aid, and she sighed deeply as she saw that the young man not only
+ignored this need, but did not even seem conscious of it. Religion was
+to him a matter of form and profession, to which he was utterly
+indifferent. The truth that God helps the distressed as a father helps
+and comforts his child, was a thought that then made no impression on
+him whatever. God and all relating to him were abstractions, and he felt
+that the emergency was too pressing, too imperative, for considerations
+that had no practical and immediate bearing upon his present success.
+
+Indeed, such was his pride and self-confidence, that he refused to
+receive from Mrs. Arnot, and even from his mother, anything more than
+the privilege of going out empty-handed into the city which was to
+become the arena of his future exploits.
+
+He told Mrs. Arnot the whole story, and she had hoped that she could
+place his folly and crime before him in its true moral aspects, and by
+dealing faithfully, yet kindly, with him, awaken his conscience. But she
+had the tact to discover very soon that such effort was now worse than
+useless. It was not his conscience, but his pride, that had been chiefly
+wounded. He felt his disgrace, his humiliation, in the eyes of men
+almost too keenly, and he was consumed with desire to regain society's
+favor. But he did not feel his sin. To God's opinion of him he scarcely
+gave a thought. He regarded his wrong act in the light of a sudden and
+grave misfortune rather than as the manifestation of a foul and inherent
+disease of his soul. He had lost his good name as a man loses his
+property, and believed that he, in his own strength, and without any
+moral change, could regain it.
+
+When parting at the prison, Mrs. Arnot gave him her hand, and said:
+
+"I trust that your hopes may be realized, and your efforts meet with
+success; but I cannot help warning you that I fear you do not realize
+what you are attempting. The world is not only very cold, but also
+suspicious and wary in its disposition toward those who have forfeited
+its confidence. I cannot learn that you have any definite plans or
+prospects. I have never been able to accomplish much without God's help.
+You not only seem to forget your need of Him, but you are not even
+willing to receive aid from me or your own mother. I honor and respect
+you for making the attempt upon which you are bent, but I fear that
+pride rather than wisdom is your counsellor in carrying out your
+resolution; and both God's word and human experience prove that pride
+goes but a little way before a fall."
+
+"I have reached a depth," replied Haldane, bitterly, "from whence I
+cannot fall; and it will be hereafter some consolation to remember that
+I was not lifted out of the mire, but that I got out. If I cannot climb
+up again it were better I perished in the gutter of my shame."
+
+"I am sorry, Egbert, that you cut yourself off from the most hopeful and
+helpful relations which you can ever sustain. A father helps his
+children through their troubles, and so God is desirous of helping us.
+There are some things which we cannot do alone--it is not meant that we
+should. God is ever willing to help those who are down, and Christians
+are not worthy of the name unless they are also willing. It is our duty
+to make every effort of which we ourselves are capable; but this is only
+half our duty. Since our tasks are beyond our strength and ability, we
+are equally bound to receive such human aid as God sends us, and, chief
+of all, to ask daily, and sometimes hourly, that His strength be made
+perfect in our weakness. But there are some lessons which are only
+learned by experience. I shall feel deeply grieved if you do not come or
+send for me in any emergency or time of special need. In parting, I have
+one favor to ask, and I think I have a right to ask it. I wish you to go
+and see your mother, and spend at least an hour with her before she
+returns home. As a matter of manly duty, be kind and gentle. Remember
+how deeply you have wounded her, and that you are under the most sacred
+obligations to endure patiently all reproaches and expressions of grief.
+If you will do this you will do much to regain my respect, and it will
+be a most excellent step toward a better life. You can gain society's
+respect again only by doing your duty, and nothing can be duty more
+plainly than this."
+
+After a moment's hesitation he said, "I do not think an interview with
+mother now will do either of us any good; but, as you say, you have a
+right to ask this, and much more, of me. I will go to her hotel and do
+the best I can; but somehow mother don't understand human nature--or, at
+least, my nature--and when I have been doing wrong she always makes me
+feel like doing worse."
+
+"If you are to succeed in your endeavor you are not to act as you feel.
+_You are to do right._ Remember that in your effort to win the position
+you wish in this city, you start with at least one friend to whom you
+can always come. Good-by," and Mrs. Arnot returned home weary and sad
+from the day's unforeseen experiences.
+
+In answer to Laura's eager questioning, she related what had happened
+quite fully, veiling only that which a delicate regard for others would
+lead her to pass in silence. She made the young girl womanly by treating
+her more as a woman and a companion than as a child. In Mrs. Arnot's
+estimation her niece had reached an age when her innocence and
+simplicity could not be maintained by efforts to keep her shallow and
+ignorant, but by revealing to her life in its reality, so that she might
+wisely and gladly choose the good from its happy contrast with evil and
+its inevitable suffering.
+
+The innocence that walks blindly on amid earth's snares and pitfalls is
+an uncertain possession; the innocence that recognizes evil, but turns
+from it with dread and aversion, is priceless.
+
+Mrs. Arnot told Laura the story of the young man's folly substantially
+as he had related it to her, but she skilfully showed how one
+comparatively venial thing had led to another, until an act had been
+committed which might have resulted in years of imprisonment.
+
+"Let this sad and miserable affair teach you," said she, "that we are
+never safe when we commence to do wrong or act foolishly. We can never
+tell to what disastrous lengths we may go when we leave the path of
+simple duty."
+
+While she mentioned Haldane's resolution to regain, if possible, his
+good name and position, she skilfully removed from the maiden's mind all
+romantic notions concerning the young man and her relation to his
+conduct.
+
+Laura's romantic nature would always be a source both of strength and
+weakness. While, on the one hand, it rendered her incapable of a sordid
+and calculating scheme of life, on the other, it might lead to feeling
+and action prejudicial to her happiness. Mrs. Arnot did not intend that
+she should brood over Haldane until her vivid imagination should weave a
+net out of his misfortunes which might insnare her heart. It was best
+for Laura that she should receive her explanations of life in very plain
+prose, and the picture that her aunt presented of Haldane and his
+prospects was prosaic indeed. He was shown to be but an ordinary young
+man, with more than ordinarily bad tendencies. While she commended his
+effort in itself, she plainly stated how wanting it was in the true
+elements of success, and how great were her fears that it would meet
+with utter failure. Thus the affair ended, as far as Laura was
+concerned, in a sincere pity for her premature lover, and a mild and
+natural interest in his future welfare--but nothing more.
+
+Mr. Arnot uttered an imprecation on learning that his wife had gone
+security for Haldane. But when he found that she had acted through Mr.
+Melville, in such a way that the fact need not become known, he
+concluded to remain silent concerning the matter. He and his wife met at
+the dinner-table that evening as if nothing unusual had occurred, both
+having concluded to ignore all that had transpired, if possible. Mrs.
+Arnot saw that her husband had only acted characteristically, and, from
+his point of view, correctly. Perhaps his recent experience would
+prevent him from being unduly harsh again should there ever be similar
+cause, which was quite improbable. Since it appeared that she could
+minister to his happiness in no other way save through her property, she
+decided to leave him the one meagre gratification of which he was
+capable.
+
+The future in its general aspects may here be anticipated by briefly
+stating that the echoes of the affair gradually died away. Mr. Arnot, on
+the receipt of a check for one thousand dollars from Mrs. Haldane's
+lawyer, was glad to procure Mr. Melville's release from the bond for
+which his wife was pledged, by assuring the legal authorities that he
+would not prosecute. The superior young man, who made free drinks the
+ambition of his life, had kept himself well informed, and on learning of
+the order for his arrest left town temporarily for parts unknown. The
+papers made the most of the sensation, to the disgust of all concerned,
+but reference to the affair soon dwindled down to an occasional
+paragraph. The city press concluded editorially that the great
+manufacturer had been harsh only seemingly, for the sake of effect, and
+with the understanding that his wife would show a little balancing
+kindness to the culprit and his aristocratic mother. That Haldane should
+still remain in the city was explained on the ground that he was ashamed
+to go home, or that he was not wanted there.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII
+
+AT ODDS WITH THE WORLD
+
+
+Haldane kept his promise to spend an hour with his mother. While he told
+her the truth concerning his folly, he naturally tried to place his
+action in the best light possible. After inducing her to take some
+slight refreshment, he obtained a close carriage, and saw her safely on
+the train which would convey her to the city wherein she resided. During
+the interview she grew much more composed, and quite remorseful that she
+had not shown greater consideration for her son's feelings, and she
+urged and even entreated him to return home with her. He remained firm,
+however, in his resolution, and would receive from her only a very small
+sum of money, barely enough to sustain him until he could look around
+for employment.
+
+His mother shared Mrs. Arnot's distrust, greatly doubting the issue of
+his large hopes and vague plans; but she could only assure him that her
+home, to which she returned crushed and disconsolate, was also his.
+
+But he felt that return was impossible. He would rather wander to the
+ends of the earth than shut himself up with his mother and sisters, for
+he foresaw that their daily moans and repinings would be daily torture.
+It would be even worse to appear among his old acquaintances and
+companions, and be taunted with the fact that his first venture from
+home ended in a common jail. The plan of drifting away to parts unknown,
+and of partially losing his identity by changing his name, made a cold,
+dreary impression upon him, like the thought of annihilation, and thus
+his purpose of remaining in Hillaton, and winning victory on the very
+ground of his defeat, grew more satisfactory.
+
+But he soon began to learn how serious, how disheartening, is the
+condition of one who finds society arrayed against him.
+
+It is the fashion to inveigh against the "cold and pitiless world"; but
+the world has often much excuse for maintaining this character. As
+society is now constituted, the consequences of wrong-doing are usually
+terrible and greatly to be dreaded; and all who have unhealthful
+cravings for forbidden things should be made to realize this. Society
+very naturally treats harshly those who permit their pleasures and
+passions to endanger its very existence. People who have toilsomely and
+patiently erected their homes and placed therein their treasures do not
+tolerate with much equanimity those who appear to have no other calling
+than that of recklessly playing with fire. The well-to-do, conservative
+world has no inclination to make things pleasant for those who propose
+to gratify themselves at any and every cost; and if the culprit pleads,
+"I did not realize--I meant no great harm," the retort comes back, "But
+you do the harm; you endanger everything. If you have not sense or
+principle enough to act wisely and well, do not expect us to risk our
+fortunes with either fools or knaves." And the man or the woman who has
+preferred pleasure or passing gratification or transient advantage to
+that priceless possession, a good name, has little ground for complaint.
+If society readily condoned those grave offences which threaten chaos,
+thousands who are now restrained by salutary fear would act out
+disastrously the evil lurking in their hearts. As long as the instinct
+of self-preservation remains, the world will seem cold and pitiless.
+
+But it often is so to a degree that cannot be too severely condemned.
+The world is the most soulless of all corporations. In dealing with the
+criminal or unfortunate classes it generalizes to such an extent that
+exceptional cases have little chance of a special hearing. If by any
+means, however, such a hearing can be obtained, the world is usually
+just, and often quite generous. But in the main it says to all: "Keep
+your proper places in the ranks. If you fall out, we must leave you
+behind; if you make trouble, we must abate you as a nuisance." This
+certainty has the effect of keeping many in their places who otherwise
+would drop out and make trouble, and is, so far, wholesome. And yet, in
+spite of this warning truth, the wayside of life is lined with those
+who, for some reason, have become disabled and have fallen out of their
+places; and miserably would many of them perish did not the Spirit of
+Him who came "to seek and save the lost" animate true followers like
+Mrs. Arnot, leading them likewise to go out after the lame, the wounded,
+and the morally leprous.
+
+Haldane was sorely wounded, but he chose to make his appeal wholly to
+the world. Ignoring Heaven, and those on earth representing Heaven's
+forgiving and saving mercy, he went out alone, in the spirit of pride
+and self-confidence, to deal with those who would meet him solely on the
+ground of self-interest. How this law works against such as have shown
+themselves unworthy of trust, he at once began to receive abundant
+proof.
+
+He returned to the hotel whence he had just taken his mother, but the
+proprietor declined to give him lodgings. It was a house that cherished
+its character for quietness and eminent respectability, and a young
+gambler and embezzler just out of prison would prove an ill-omened
+guest. On receiving a cold and peremptory refusal to his application,
+and in the presence of several others, Haldane stalked haughtily away;
+but there was misgiving and faintness at his heart. Such a public rebuff
+was a new and strange experience.
+
+With set teeth and lips compressed he next resolved to go to the very
+hotel where he had committed his crime, and from that starting-point
+fight his way up. He found the public room more than usually well filled
+with loungers, and could not help discovering, as he entered, that he
+was the subject of their loud and unsavory conversation. The "Evening
+Spy" had just been read, and all were very busy discussing the scandal.
+As the knowledge of his presence and identity was speedily conveyed to
+one and another in loud whispers, the noisy tongues ceased, and the
+young man found himself the centre of an embarrassing amount of
+observation. But he endeavored to give the idlers a defiant and careless
+glance as he walked up to the proprietor and asked for a room.
+
+"No, sir!" replied that virtuous individual, with sharp emphasis; "you
+have had a room of me once too often. It's not my way to have gamblers,
+bloats, and jail-birds hanging around my place--'not if the court knows
+herself; and she thinks she does.' You've done all you could to give my
+respectable, first-class house the name of a low gambling hell. The
+evening paper even hints that someone connected with the house had a
+hand in your being plucked. You've damaged me hundreds of dollars, and
+if you ever show your face within my doors again I'll have you
+arrested."
+
+Haldane was stung to the quick, and retorted vengefully:
+
+"Perhaps the paper is right. I was introduced to the blacklegs in your
+bar-room, and by a scamp who was a habitual lounger here. They got their
+cards of you, and, having made me drunk, and robbed me in one of your
+rooms, they had no trouble in getting away."
+
+"Do you make any such charge against me?" bellowed the landlord,
+starting savagely forward.
+
+"I say, as the paper says, _perhaps_," replied Haldane, standing
+his ground, but quivering with rage. "I shall give you no ground for a
+libel suit; but if you will come out in the street you shall have all
+the satisfaction you want; and if you lay the weight of your finger on
+me here. I'll damage you worse than I did last night."
+
+"How dare you come here to insult me?" said the landlord, but keeping
+now at a safe distance from the incensed youth. "Some one, go for a
+policeman, for the fellow is out of jail years too soon."
+
+"I did not come here to insult you, I came, as every one has a right to
+come, to ask for a room, for which I meant to pay your price, and you
+insulted me."
+
+"Well, you can't have a room."
+
+"If you had quietly said that and no more in the first place, there
+would have been no trouble. But I want you and every one else to
+understand that I won't be struck, if I am down;" and he turned on his
+heel and strode out of the house, followed by a volley of curses from
+the enraged landlord and the bartender, who had smirked so agreeably the
+evening before.
+
+A distorted account of this scene--published in the "Courier" the
+following day, in connection with a detailed account of the whole
+miserable affair--added considerably to the ill repute that already
+burdened Haldane; for it was intimated that he was as ready for a street
+brawl as for any other species of lawlessness.
+
+The "Courier," having had the nose of its representative demolished by
+Haldane, was naturally prejudiced against him; and, influenced by its
+darkly-colored narrative, the citizens shook their heads over the young
+man, and concluded that he was a dangerous character, who had become
+unnaturally and precociously depraved; and there was quite a general
+hope that Mr. Arnot would not fail to prosecute, so that the town might
+be rid of one who promised to continue a source of trouble.
+
+The "Spy" a rival paper, showed a tendency to dwell on the extenuating
+circumstances. But it is so much easier for a community to believe evil
+rather than good of a person, that mere excuses and apologies, and the
+suggestion that the youth had been victimized, had little weight.
+Besides, the world shows a tendency to detest weak fools even more than
+knaves.
+
+After his last bitter experience Haldane felt unwilling to venture to
+another hotel, and he endeavored to find a quiet boarding-place; but as
+soon as he mentioned his name, the keepers, male and female, suddenly
+discovered that they had no rooms. Night was near, and his courage was
+beginning to fail him, when he at last found a thrifty gentlewoman who
+gave far more attention to her housewifely cares than to the current
+news. She readily received the well-dressed stranger, and showed him to
+his room. Haldane did not hide his name from her, for he resolved to
+spend the night in the street before dropping a name which now seemed to
+turn people from him as if contagion lurked in it, and he was relieved
+to find that, as yet, it had to her no disgraceful associations. He was
+bent on securing one good night's rest, and so excused himself from
+going down to supper, lest he should meet some one that knew him. After
+nightfall he slipped out to an obscure restaurant for his supper.
+
+His precaution, however, was vain, for on his return to his room he
+encountered in a hallway one of the loungers who had witnessed the
+recent scene at the hotel. After a second's stare the man passed on down
+to the shabby-genteel parlor, and soon whist, novels, and papers were
+dropped, as the immaculate little community learned of the contaminating
+presence beneath the same roof with themselves.
+
+"A man just out of prison! A man merely released on bail, and who would
+certainly be convicted and tried!"
+
+With a virtue which might have put "Caesar's wife" to the blush, sere
+and withered gentlewomen pursed up their mouths, and declared that they
+could not sleep in the same house with such a disreputable person. The
+thrifty landlady, whose principle of success was the concentration of
+all her faculties on the task of satisfying the digestive organs of her
+patrons, found herself for once at fault, and she was quite surprised to
+learn what a high-toned class of people she was entertaining.
+
+But, then, "business is business." Poor Haldane was but one uncertain
+lodger, and here were a dozen or more "regulars" arrayed against him.
+The sagacious woman was not long in climbing to the door of the
+obnoxious guest, and her very knock said, "What are you doing here?"
+
+Haldane's first thought was, "She is a woman; she will not have the
+heart to turn me away." He had become so weary and disheartened that his
+pride was failing him, and he was ready to plead for the chance of a
+little rest. Therefore he opened the door, and invited the landlady to
+enter in the most conciliating manner. But no such poor chaff would be
+of any avail with one of Mrs. Gruppins' experience, and looking straight
+before her, as if addressing no one in particular, she said
+sententiously:
+
+"I wish this room vacated within a half-hour."
+
+"If you have the heart of a woman you will not send me out this rainy
+night. I am weary and sick in body and mind. I wouldn't turn a dog out
+in the night and storm."
+
+"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, sir," said Mrs. Gruppins, turning
+on him indignantly; "to think that you should take advantage of a poor
+and defenceless widow, and me so inexperienced and ignorant of the
+wicked world."
+
+"I did not take advantage of your ignorance: I told you who I was, and
+am able to pay for the room. In the morning I will leave your house, if
+you have so much objection to my remaining."
+
+"Why shouldn't I object? I never had such as you here before. All my
+boarders"--she added in a louder tone, for the benefit of those who were
+listening at the foot of the stairs--"all my boarders are peculiarly
+respectable people, and I would not have them scandalized by your
+presence here another minute if I could help it."
+
+"How much do I owe you?" asked Haldane, in a tone that was harsh from
+its suppressed emotion.
+
+"I don't want any of your money--I don't want anything to do with people
+who are lodged at the expense of the State. If you took money last
+night, there is no telling what you will take to-night."
+
+Haldane snatched his hat and rushed from the house, overwhelmed with a
+deeper and more terrible sense of shame and degradation than he had ever
+imagined possible. He had become a pariah, and in bitterness of heart
+was realizing the truth.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII
+
+THE WORLD'S VERDICT--OUR KNIGHT A CRIMINAL
+
+
+A few moments before his interview with the thrifty and respectable Mrs.
+Gruppins, Haldane had supposed himself too weary to drag one foot after
+the other in search of another resting-place; and therefore his eager
+hope that that obdurate female might not be gifted with the same quality
+of "in'ards" which Pat M'Cabe ascribed to Mr. Arnot. He had, indeed,
+nearly reached the limit of endurance, for had he been in his best and
+most vigorous condition, a day which taxed so terribly both body and
+mind would have drained his vitality to the point of exhaustion. As it
+was, the previous night's debauch told against him like a term of
+illness. He had since taken food insufficiently and irregularly, and
+was, therefore, in no condition to meet the extraordinary demands of the
+ordeal through which he was passing. Mental distress, moreover, is far
+more wearing than physical effort, and his anguish of mind had risen
+several times during the day almost to frenzy.
+
+In spite of all this, the sharp and pitiless tongue of Mrs. Gruppins
+goaded him again to the verge of desperation, and he strode rapidly and
+aimlessly away, through the night and storm, with a wilder tempest
+raging in his breast. But the gust of feeling died away as suddenly as
+it had arisen, and left him ill and faint. A telegraph pole was near,
+and he leaned against it for support.
+
+"Move on," growled a passing policeman.
+
+"Will you do me a kindness?" asked Haldane; "I am poor and sick--a
+stranger. Tell me where I can hire a bed for a small sum."
+
+The policeman directed him down a side street, saying, "You can get a
+bed at No. 13, and no questions asked."
+
+There was unspeakable comfort in the last assurance, for it now seemed
+that he could hope to find a refuge only in places where "no questions
+were asked."
+
+With difficulty the weary youth reached the house, and by paying a small
+extra sum was able to obtain a wretched little room to himself; but
+never did storm-tossed and endangered sailors enter a harbor's quiet
+waters with a greater sense of relief than did Haldane as he crept up
+into this squalid nook, which would at least give him a little respite
+from the world's terrible scorn.
+
+What a priceless gift for the unhappy, the unfortunate--yes, and for
+the guilty--is sleep! Many seem to think of the body only as a clog,
+impeding mental action--as a weight, chaining the spirit down. Were the
+mind, in its activity, independent of the body--were the wounded spirit
+unable to forget its pain--could the guilty conscience sting
+incessantly--then the chief human industry would come to be the erection
+of asylums for the insane. But by an unfathomable mystery the tireless
+regal spirit has been blended with the flesh and blood of its servant,
+the body. In heaven, where there is neither sin nor pain, even the body
+becomes spiritual; but on earth, where it so often happens, as in the
+case of poor Haldane, that to think and to remember is torture, it is a
+blessed thing that the body, formed from the earth, often becomes heavy
+as earth, and rests upon the spirit for a few hours at least, like the
+clods with which we fill the grave.
+
+The morning of the following day was quite well advanced when Haldane
+awoke from his long oblivion, and, after regaining consciousness, he lay
+a full hour longer trying to realize his situation, and to think of some
+plan by which he might best recover his lost position. As he recalled
+all that had occurred he began to understand the extreme difficulty of
+his task, and he even queried whether it were possible for him to
+succeed. If the respectable would not even give him shelter, how could
+he hope that they would employ and trust him?
+
+After he had partaken of quite a hearty breakfast, however, his fortunes
+began to wear a less forbidding aspect. Endowed with youth, health, and,
+as he believed, with more than usual ability, he felt that there was
+scarcely occasion for despair. Some one would employ him--some one would
+give him another chance. He would take any respectable work that would
+give him a foothold, and by some vague, fortunate means, which the
+imagination of the young always supplies, he would achieve success that
+would obliterate the memory of the past. Therefore, with flashes of hope
+in his heart, he started out to seek his fortune, and commenced applying
+at the various stores and offices of the city.
+
+So far from giving any encouragement, people were much surprised that he
+had the assurance to ask to be employed and trusted again. The majority
+dismissed him coldly and curtly. A few mongrel natures, true to
+themselves, gave a snarling refusal. Then there were jovial spirits who
+must have their jest, even though the sensitive subject of it was
+tortured thereby--men who enjoyed quizzing Haldane before sending him
+on, as much as the old inquisitors relished a little recreation with hot
+pincers and thumb-screws. There were also conscientious people, whose
+worldly prudence prevented them from giving employment to one so damaged
+in character, and yet who felt constrained to give some good advice. To
+this, it must be confessed, Haldane listened with very poor grace, thus
+extending the impression that he was a rather hopeless subject.
+
+"Good God!" he exclaimed, interrupting an old gentleman who was
+indulging in some platitudes to the effect that the "way of the
+transgressor is hard"--"I would rather black your boots than listen to
+such talk. What I want is work--a chance to live honestly. What's the
+use of telling a fellow not to go to the devil, and then practically
+send him to the devil?"
+
+The old gentleman was somewhat shocked and offended, and coldly
+intimated that he had no need of the young man's services.
+
+A few spoke kindly and seemed truly sorry for him, but they either had
+no employment to give, or, on business principles, felt that they could
+not introduce among their other assistants one under bonds to appear and
+be tried for a State-prison offence that was already the same as proved.
+
+After receiving rebuffs, and often what he regarded as insults, for
+hours, the young man's hope began to fail him utterly. His face grew
+pale and haggard, not only from fatigue, but from that which tells
+disastrously almost as soon upon the body as upon the mind--discouragement.
+He saw that he had not yet fully realized the consequences of his folly.
+The deep and seemingly implacable resentment of society was a continued
+surprise. He was not conscious of being a monster of wickedness, and it
+seemed to him that after his bitter experience he would rather starve
+than again touch what was not his own.
+
+But the trouble is, the world does not give us much credit for what we
+think, feel, and imagine, even if aware of our thoughts. It is what we
+_do_ that forms public opinion; and it was both natural and just that
+the public should have a very decided opinion of one who had recently
+shown himself capable of gambling, drunkenness, and practical theft.
+
+And yet the probabilities were that if some kind, just man had bestowed
+upon Haldane both employment and trust, with a chance to rise, his
+bitter lesson would have made him scrupulously careful to shun his
+peculiar temptations from that time forward. But the world usually
+regards one who has committed a crime as a criminal, and treats him as
+such. It cannot, if it would, nicely calculate the hidden moral state
+and future chances. It acts on sound generalities, regardless of the
+exceptions; and thus it often happens that men and women who at first
+can scarcely understand the world's adverse opinion, are disheartened by
+it, and at last come to merit the worst that can be said or thought.
+
+As, at the time of his first arrest, Haldane had found his eyes drawn by
+a strange, cruel fascination to every scornful or curious face upon the
+street, so now he began to feel a morbid desire to know just what people
+were saying and thinking of him. He purchased both that day's papers and
+those of the previous day, and, finding a little out-of-the-way
+restaurant kept by a foreigner, he "supped full with"--what were to him
+emphatically--"horrors"; the dinner and supper combined, which he had
+ordered, growing cold, in the meantime, and as uninviting as the place
+in which it was served.
+
+His eyes dwelt longest upon those sentences which were the most
+unmercifully severe, and they seemed to burn their way into his very
+soul. Was he in truth such a miscreant as the "Courier" described? Mrs.
+Arnot had not shrunk from him as from contamination; but she was
+different from all other people that he had known; and he now
+remembered, also, that even she always referred to his act in a grave,
+troubled way, as if both its character and consequences were serious
+indeed.
+
+There was such a cold, leaden despondency burdening his heart that he
+felt that he must have relief of some kind. Although remembering his
+rash invocation of fatal consequences to himself should he touch again
+that which had brought him so much evil, he now, with a reckless oath,
+muttered that he "needed some liquor, and would have it."
+
+Having finished a repast from which he would have turned in disgust
+before his fortunes had so greatly altered, and having gained a little
+temporary courage from the more than doubtful brandy served in such a
+place, he obtained permission to sit by the fire and smoke away the
+blustering evening, for he felt no disposition to face the world again
+that day. The German proprietor and his beer-drinking patrons paid no
+attention to the stranger, and as he sat off on one side by himself at a
+table, with a mug of lager before him, he was practically as much alone,
+and as lonely, as if in a desert.
+
+In a dull, vague way it occurred to him that it was very fitting that
+those present should speak in a foreign and unknown tongue, and act and
+look differently from all classes of people formerly known to him. He
+was in a different world, and it was appropriate that everything should
+appear strange and unfamiliar.
+
+Finding that he could have a room in this same little, dingy
+restaurant-hotel, where he had obtained his supper, he resolved that he
+would torture himself no more that night with thoughts of the past or
+future, but slowly stupefy himself into sleep.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIX
+
+THE WORLD'S BEST OFFER--A PRISON
+
+
+After a walk in the sweet April sunshine the following morning, a hearty
+breakfast, and a general rallying of the elastic forces of youth,
+Haldane felt that he had not yet reached the "brink of dark despair."
+
+Indeed, he had an odd sense of pride that he had survived the ordeal of
+the last two days, and still felt as well as he did. Although it was but
+an Arab's life, in which every man's hand seemed against him, yet he
+still lived, and concluded that he could continue to live indefinitely.
+
+He did not go out again, as on the previous day, to seek employment, but
+sat down and tried to think his way into the future somewhat.
+
+The first question that presented itself was, Should he in any
+contingency return home to his mother?
+
+He was not long in deciding adversely, for it seemed to him to involve
+such a bitter mortification that he felt he would rather starve.
+
+Should he send to her for money?
+
+That would be scarcely less humiliating, for it was equivalent to a
+confession that he could not even take care of himself, much less
+achieve all the brave things he had intimated. He was still more averse
+to going to Mrs. Arnot for what would seem charity to her husband and to
+every one else who might hear of it. The probability, also, that Laura
+would learn of such an appeal for aid made him scout the very thought.
+
+Should he go away among strangers, change his name, and commence life
+anew, unburdened by the weight which now dragged him down?
+
+The thought of cutting himself off utterly from all whom he knew, or who
+cared for him, caused a cold, shivering sense of dread. It would, also,
+be a confession of defeat, an acknowledgment that he could not
+accomplish what he had promised to himself and to others. He had,
+moreover, sufficient forethought to perceive that any success which he
+might achieve elsewhere, and under another name, would be such a slight
+and baseless fabric that a breath from one who now knew him could
+overturn it. He might lead an honorable life for years, and yet no one
+would believe him honorable after discovering that he was living under
+an _alias_ and concealing a crime. If he could build himself up in
+Hillaton he would be founded on the rock of truth, and need fear no
+disastrous reverses from causes against which he could not guard.
+
+Few can be more miserable than those who hold their fortunes and good
+name on sufferance--safe only in the power and disposition of others to
+keep some wretched secret; and he is but little better off who fears
+that every stranger arriving in town may recognize in his face the
+features of one that, years before, by reason of some disgraceful act,
+fled from himself and all who knew him. The more Haldane thought upon
+the scheme of losing his identity, and of becoming that vague, and, as
+yet, unnamed stranger, who after years of exile would still be himself,
+though to the world not himself, the less attractive it became.
+
+He finally concluded that, as he had resolved to remain in Hillaton, he
+would keep his resolution, and that, as he had plainly stated his
+purpose to lift himself up by his own unaided efforts, he would do so if
+it were possible; and if it were not, he would live the life of a
+laborer--a tramp, even--rather than "skulk back," as he expressed it, to
+those who were once kindred and companions.
+
+"If I cannot walk erect to their front doors, I will never crawl around
+to the back entrances. If I ever must take to keep from starving, it
+will be from strangers. I shall never inflict myself as a dead weight
+and a painfully tolerated infamy on any one. I was able to get myself
+into this disgusting slough, and if I haven't brains and pluck enough to
+get myself out, I will remain at this, my level, to which I have
+fallen."
+
+Thus pride still counselled and controlled, and yet it was a kind of
+pride that inspires something like respect. It proved that there was
+much good metal in the crude, misshapen ore of his nature.
+
+But the necessity of doing something was urgent, for the sum he had been
+willing to receive from his mother was small, and rapidly diminishing.
+
+Among the possible activities in which he might engage, that of writing
+for papers and magazines occurred to him, and the thought at once caught
+and fired his imagination. The mysteries of the literary world were the
+least known to him, and therefore it offered the greatest amount of
+vague promise and indefinite hope. Here a path might open to both fame
+and fortune. The more he dwelt on the possibility the more it seemed to
+take the aspect of probability. Under the signature of E. H. he would
+write thrilling tales, until the public insisted upon knowing the great
+unknown. Then he could reverse present experience by scorning those who
+had scorned him. He recalled all that he had ever read about genius
+toiling in its attic until the world was compelled to recognize and do
+homage to the regal mind. He would remain in seclusion also; he would
+burn midnight oil until he should come to be known as Haldane the
+brilliant writer instead of Haldane the gambler, drunkard, and thief.
+
+All on fire with his new project, he sallied forth to the nearest
+news-stand, and selected two or three papers and magazines, whose
+previous interest to him and known popularity suggested that they were
+the best mediums in which he could rise upon the public as a literary
+star, all the more attractive because unnamed and unknown.
+
+His next proceeding indicated a commendable amount of shrewdness, and
+proved that his roseate visions resulted more from ignorance and
+inexperience than from innate foolishness. He carefully read the
+periodicals he had bought, in the hope of obtaining hints and
+suggestions from their contents which would aid him in producing
+acceptable manuscripts. Some of the sketches and stories appeared very
+simple, the style flowing along as smoothly and limpidly as a summer
+brook through the meadows. He did not see why he could not write in a
+similar vein, perhaps more excitingly and interestingly. In his partial
+and neglected course of study he had not given much attention to
+_belles-lettres_, and was not aware that the simplicity and lucid
+purity of thought which made certain pages so easily read were produced
+by the best trained and most cultured talent existing among the regular
+contributors.
+
+He spent the evening and the greater part of a sleepless night in
+constructing a crude plot of a story, and, having procured writing
+materials, hastened through an early breakfast, the following morning,
+in his eagerness to enter on what now seemed a shining path to fame.
+
+He sat down and dipped his pen in ink. The blank, white page was before
+him, awaiting his brilliant and burning thoughts; but for some reason
+they did not and would not come. This puzzled him. He could dash off a
+letter, and write with ease a plain business statement. Why could he not
+commence and go on with his story?
+
+"How do those other fellows commence?" he mentally queried, and he again
+carefully read and examined the opening paragraphs of two or three tales
+that had pleased him. They seemed to commence and go forward very easily
+and naturally. Why could not he do the same?
+
+To his dismay he found that he could not. He might as well have sat down
+and hoped to have deftly and skilfully constructed a watch as to have
+imitated the style of the stories that most interested him, for he had
+never formed even the power, much less the habit, of composition.
+
+After a few labored and inconsequential sentences, which seemed like
+crude ore instead of the molten, burning metal of thought left to cool
+in graceful molds, he threw aside his pen in despair.
+
+After staring despondently for a time at the blank page, which now
+promised to remain as blank as the future then seemed, the fact suddenly
+occurred to him that even genius often spurred its flagging or dormant
+powers by stimulants. Surely, then, he, in his pressing emergency, had a
+right to avail himself of this aid. A little brandy might awaken his
+imagination, which would then kindle with his theme.
+
+At any rate, he had no objection to the brandy, and with this
+inspiration he again resumed his pen. He was soon astonished and
+delighted with the result, for he found himself writing with ease and
+fluency. His thoughts seemed to become vivid and powerful, and his story
+grew rapidly. As body and mind flagged, the potent genii in the black
+bottle again lifted and soared on with him until the marvellous tale was
+completed.
+
+He decided to correct the manuscript on the following day, and was so
+complacent and hopeful over his performance that he scarcely noted that
+he was beginning to feel wretchedly from the inevitable reaction. The
+next day, with dull and aching head he tried to read what he had
+written, but found it dreary and disappointing work. His sentences and
+paragraphs appeared like clouds from which the light had faded; but he
+explained this fact to himself on the ground of his depressed physical
+state, and he went through his task with dogged persistence.
+
+He felt better on the following day, and with the aid of the bottle he
+resolved to give his inventive genius another flight. On this occasion
+he would attempt a longer story--one that would occupy him several
+days--and he again stimulated himself up to a condition in which he
+found at least no lack of words. When he attained what he supposed was
+his best mood, he read over again the work of the preceding day, and was
+delighted to find that it now glowed with prismatic hues. In his
+complacence he at once despatched it to the paper for which it was
+designed.
+
+Three or four days of alternate work and brooding passed, and if various
+and peculiar moods prove the possession of genius, Haldane certainly
+might claim it. Between his sense of misfortune and disgrace, and the
+fact that his funds were becoming low, on one hand, and his towering
+hopes and shivering fears concerning his literary ventures, on the
+other, he was emphatically in what is termed "a state of mind"
+continuously. These causes alone were sufficient to make mental serenity
+impossible; but the after-effects of the decoction from which he
+obtained his inspiration were even worse, and after a week's work the
+thought occurred to him more than once that if he pursued a literary
+life, either his genius or that which he imbibed as its spur would
+consume him utterly.
+
+By the time the first two stories were finished he found that it would
+be necessary to supplement the labors of his pen. He would have to wait
+at least a few days before he could hope for any returns, even though he
+had urged in his accompanying notes prompt acceptance and remittance for
+their value.
+
+He went to the office of the "Evening Spy," the paper which had shown
+some lenience toward him, and offered his services as writer, or
+reporter; and, although taught by harsh experience not to hope for very
+much, he was a little surprised at the peremptory manner in which his
+services were declined. His face seemed to ask an explanation, and the
+editor said briefly:
+
+"We did not bear down very hard on you--it's not our custom; but both
+inclination and necessity lead us to require that every one and
+everything connected with this paper should be eminently respectable and
+deserving of respect. Good-morning, sir."
+
+Haldane's pre-eminence consisted only in his lack of respectability; and
+after the brave visions of the past week, based on his literary toil,
+this cool, sharp-cut statement of society's opinion quenched about all
+hope of ever rising by first gaining recognition and employment among
+those whose position was similar to what his own had been. As he plodded
+his way back to the miserable little foreign restaurant, his mind began
+to dwell on this question:
+
+"Is there any place in the world for one who has committed a crime, save
+a prison?"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XX
+
+MAIDEN AND WOOD-SAWYER
+
+
+Before utterly abandoning all hope of finding employment that should in
+some small degree preserve an air of respectability, Haldane resolved to
+give up one more day to the search, and on the following morning he
+started out and walked until nightfall. He even offered to take the
+humblest positions that would insure him a support and some recognition;
+but the record of his action while in Mr. Arnot's employ followed him
+everywhere, creating sufficient prejudice in every case to lead to a
+refusal of his application. Some said "No" reluctantly and hesitatingly,
+as if kindly feelings within took the young man's part; but they said
+it, nevertheless.
+
+For the patient resolution with which he continued to apply to all kinds
+of people and places, hour after hour, in spite of such disheartening
+treatment, he deserved much praise; but he did not receive any; and at
+last, weary and despondent, he returned to his miserable lodgings. He
+was so desperately depressed in body and mind that the contents of the
+black bottle seemed his only resource.
+
+Such a small sum now remained that he felt that something must be done
+instantly. He concluded that his only course now was to go out and pick
+up any odd bits of work that he could find. He hoped that by working
+half the time he might make enough to pay for his board at his present
+cheap lodging-place. This would leave him time to continue his writing,
+and in the course of a week more he would certainly hear from the
+manuscripts already forwarded. On these he now built nearly all his
+hope. If they were well received and paid for, he considered his
+fortunes substantially restored, and fame almost a certainty in the
+future. If he could only produce a few more manuscripts, and bridge over
+the intervening time until he could hear from them, he felt that his
+chief difficulties would be past.
+
+Having decided to do a laborer's work, he at once resolved to exchange
+his elegant broadcloth for a laborer's suit, and he managed this
+transfer so shrewdly that he obtained quite a little sum of money in
+addition.
+
+It was well that he did replenish his finances somewhat, for his
+apparently phlegmatic landlord was as wary as a veteran mouser in
+looking after his small interests. He had just obtained an inkling as to
+Haldane's identity, and, while he was not at all chary concerning the
+social and moral standing of his few uncertain lodgers, he proposed
+henceforth that all transactions with the suspicious stranger should be
+on a strictly cash basis.
+
+It was the busy spring-time, and labor was in great demand. Haldane
+wandered off to the suburbs, and, as an ordinary laborer, offered his
+services in cleaning up yards, cutting wood, or forking over a space of
+garden ground. His stalwart form and prepossessing appearance generally
+secured him a favorable answer, but before he was through with his task
+he often received a sound scolding for his unskilful and bungling style
+of work. But he in part made up by main strength what he lacked in
+skill, and after two or three days he acquired considerable deftness in
+his unwonted labors, and felt the better for them. They counteracted the
+effects of his literary efforts, or, more correctly, his means of
+inspiration in them.
+
+Thus another week passed, of which he gave three days to the production
+of two or three more brief manuscripts, and during the following week he
+felt sure that he would hear from those first sent.
+
+He wrote throughout the hours of daylight on Sunday, scarcely leaving
+his chair, and drank more deeply than usual. In consequence, he felt
+wretchedly on Monday, and, therefore, strolled off to look for some
+employment that would not tax his aching head. Hitherto he had avoided
+all localities where he would be apt to meet those who knew him; and by
+reason of his brief residence in town there were comparatively few who
+were familiar with his features. He now recalled the fact that he had
+often seen from his window, while an inmate of Mrs. Arnot's home, quite
+a collection of cottages across a small ravine that ran a little back of
+that lady's residence. He might find some work among them, and he
+yielded to the impulse to look again upon the place where such rich and
+abundant happiness had once seemed within his grasp.
+
+For several days he had been conscious of a growing desire to hear from
+his mother and Mrs. Arnot, and often found himself wondering how they
+regarded his mysterious disappearance, or whether reports of his vain
+inquiry for work had reached them.
+
+With a pride and resolution that grew obstinate with time and failure,
+he resolved that he would not communicate with them until he had
+something favorable to tell; and he hoped, and almost believed, that
+before many days passed, he could address to them a literary weekly
+paper in which they would find, in prominent position, the underscored
+initials of E. H. Until he could be preceded by the first flashes of
+fame he would remain in obscurity. He would not even let Mrs. Arnot know
+where he was hiding, so that she might send to him his personal effects
+left at her house. Indeed, he had no place for them now, and was,
+besides, more morbidly bent than ever on making good the proud words he
+had spoken. If, in the face of such tremendous odds he could, alone and
+unaided, with nothing but his hands and brain, win again all and more
+than he had lost, he could compel the respect and admiration of those
+who had witnessed his downfall and consequent victorious struggle.
+
+Was the girl who had inspired his sudden, and, as he had supposed,
+"undying" passion, forgotten during these trying days? Yes, to a great
+extent. His self-love was greater than his love for Laura Romeyn. He
+craved intensely to prove that he was no longer a proper object of her
+scorn. She had rejected him as a slave to "disgusting vices," and such
+he had apparently shown himself to be; but now he would have been
+willing to have dipped his pen in his own blood, and have written away
+his life, if thereby he could have filled her with admiration and
+regret. Although he scarcely acknowledged it to himself, perhaps the
+subtlest and strongest impulse to his present course was the hope of
+teaching her that he was not what she now regarded him. But he was not
+at that time capable of a strong, true affection for any one, and
+thoughts of the pretty maiden wounded his pride more than his heart.
+
+After arriving at the further bank of the ravine, back of Mrs. Arnot's
+residence, he sat down for a while, and gave himself up to a very bitter
+revery. There, in the bright spring sunshine, was the beautiful villa
+which might have been a second home to him. The gardener was at work
+among the shrubbery, and the sweet breath of crocuses and hyacinths was
+floated to him on the morning breeze. There were the windows of his
+airy, lovely room, in comparison with which the place in which he now
+slept was a kennel. If he had controlled and hidden his passion, if he
+had waited and wooed patiently, skilfully, winning first esteem and
+friendship, and then affection, yonder garden paths might have witnessed
+many happy hours spent with the one whom he loved as well as he could
+love any one save himself. But now--and he cursed himself and his folly.
+
+Poor fellow! He might as well have said, "If I had not been myself, all
+this might have been as I have imagined." He had acted naturally, and in
+accordance with his defective character; he had been himself, and that
+was the secret of all his troubles. He sprang up, exclaiming in anger:
+
+"Mother made a weak fool of me, and I was willing to be a fool. Now we
+are bothing reaping our reward."
+
+He went off among the cottages looking for employment, but found little
+encouragement. The people were, as a general thing, in humble
+circumstances, and did their work among themselves. But at last he
+found, near the ravine, a small dwelling standing quite apart from any
+others, before which a load of wood had been thrown. The poor woman
+whose gateway it obstructed was anxious to have it sawed up and carried
+to her little wood-shed, but was disposed to haggle about the price.
+
+"Give me what you please," said Haldane, throwing off his coat; "I take
+the job;" and in a few moments the youth who had meditated indefinite
+heights of "gloomy grandeur" appeared--save to the initiated--as if he
+had been born a wood-sawyer.
+
+He was driving his saw in the usual strong, dogged manner in which he
+performed such tasks, when a light step caused him to look up suddenly,
+and he found himself almost face to face with Laura Romeyn. He started
+violently; the blood first receded from his face, and then rushed
+tumultuously back. She, too, seemed much surprised and startled, and
+stopped hesitatingly, as if she did not know what to do. But Haldane had
+no doubt as to his course. He felt that he had no right to speak to her,
+and that she might regard it as an insult if he did; therefore he bent
+down to his work again with a certain proud humility which Laura, even
+in her perturbation, did not fail to notice.
+
+In her diffidence and confusion she continued past him a few steps, and,
+although he expected nothing less, the fact that she did not recognize
+or speak to him cut to his heart with a deeper pain than he had yet
+suffered. With a gesture similar to that which he made when she saw him
+on the way to prison, he dashed his hat down over his eyes, and drove
+his saw through the wood with savage energy.
+
+She looked at him doubtfully for a moment, then yielding to her impulse,
+came to his side. His first intimation of her presence was the scarcely
+heard tones of her voice mingling with the harsh rasping of the saw.
+
+"Will you not speak to me, Mr. Haldane?" she asked.
+
+He dropped his saw, stood erect, trembled slightly, but did not answer
+or even raise his eyes to her face. His pain was so great he was not
+sure of his self-control.
+
+"Perhaps," she added timidly, "you do not wish me to speak to you."
+
+"I now have no right to speak to you, Miss Romeyn," he answered in a
+tone which his suppressed feelings rendered constrained and almost
+harsh.
+
+"But I feel sorry for you," said she quickly, "and so does my aunt, and
+she greatly--"
+
+"I have not asked for your pity," interrupted Haldane, growing more
+erect and almost haughty in his bearing, quite oblivious for a moment of
+his shirt-sleeves and bucksaw. What is more, he made Laura forget them
+also, and his manner embarrassed her greatly. She was naturally gentle
+and timid, and she deferred so far to his mood that one would have
+thought that she was seeking to obtain kindness rather than to confer
+it.
+
+"You misunderstand me," said she: "I do respect you for the brave effort
+you are making. I respect you for doing this work. You cannot think it
+strange, though, that I am sorry for all that has happened. But I did
+not intend to speak of myself at all--of Mrs. Arnot rather, and your
+mother. They do not know where to find you, and wish to see and hear
+from you very much. Mrs. Arnot has letters to you from your mother."
+
+"The time shall come--it may not be so very far distant, Miss
+Romeyn--when it will be no condescension on your part to speak to me,"
+said Haldane loftily, ignoring all that related to Mrs. Arnot and his
+mother, even if he heard it.
+
+"I do not feel it to be condescension now," replied Laura, with almost
+the frank simplicity of a child. "I cannot help feeling sympathy for
+you, even though you are too proud to receive it." Then she added, with
+a trace of dignity and maidenly pride, "Perhaps when you have realized
+your hopes, and have become rich or famous, I may not choose to speak to
+you. But it is not my nature to turn from any one in misfortune, much
+less any one whom I have known well."
+
+He looked at her steadily for a moment, and his lip quivered slightly
+with his softening feeling.
+
+"You do not scorn me, then, like the rest of the world," said he in a
+low tone.
+
+Tears stood in the young girl's eyes as she answered, "Mr. Haldane, I do
+feel deeply for you; I know you have done very wrong, but that only
+makes you suffer more."
+
+"How can you overlook the wrong of my action? Others think I am not fit
+to be spoken to," he asked, in a still lower tone.
+
+"I do not overlook the wrong," said she, gravely; "it seems strange and
+terrible to me; and yet I do feel sorry for you, from the depths of my
+heart, and I wish I could help you."
+
+"You have helped me," said he, impetuously; "you have spoken the first
+truly kind word that has blessed me since I bade mother good-by. I was
+beginning to hate the hard-hearted animals known as men and women. They
+trample me down like a herd of buffaloes."
+
+"Won't you go with me and see Mrs. Arnot? She has letters for you, and
+she greatly wishes to see you."
+
+He shook his head.
+
+"Why not?"
+
+"I have the same as made a vow that I will never approach any one to
+whom I held my old relations until I regain at least as good a name and
+position as I lost. I little thought we should meet soon again, if ever,
+and still less that you would speak to me as you have done."
+
+"I had been taking some delicacies from auntie to a poor sick woman, and
+was just returning," said Laura, blushing slightly. "I think your vow is
+very wrong. Your pride brings grief to your mother, and pain to your
+good friend, Mrs. Arnot."
+
+"I cannot help it," said he, in a manner that was gloomy and almost
+sullen; "I got myself into this slough, and I intend to get myself out
+of it. I shall not take alms from any one."
+
+"A mother cannot give her son alms," said Laura simply.
+
+"The first words my mother said to me when my heart was breaking were,
+'You have disgraced me.' When I have accomplished that which will honor
+her I will return."
+
+"I know from what auntie said that your mother did not mean any
+unkindness, and you surely know that you have a friend in Mrs. Arnot."
+
+"Mrs. Arnot _has_ been a true friend, and no small part of my punishment
+is the thought of how I have requited her kindness. I reverence and
+honor her more than any other woman, and I did not know that you were so
+much like her. You both seem different from all the rest of the world.
+But I shall take no advantage of her kindness or yours."
+
+"Mr. Haldane," said Laura gravely, but with rising color, "I am not a
+woman. In years and feelings I am scarcely more than a child. It may not
+be proper or conventional for me to stop and talk so long to you, but I
+have acted from the natural impulse of a young girl brought up in a
+secluded country home. I shall return thither tomorrow, and I am glad I
+have seen you once more, for I wished you to know that I did feel sorry
+for you, and that I hoped you might succeed. I greatly wish you would
+see Mrs. Arnot, or let me tell her where she can see you, and send to
+you what she wishes. She has heard of you once or twice, but does not
+know where to find you. Will you not let me tell her?"
+
+He shook his head decidedly.
+
+"Well, then, good-by," said she kindly, and was about to depart.
+
+"Wait," he said hastily; "will you do me one small favor?"
+
+"Yes, if I ought."
+
+"This is my father's watch and chain," he continued, taking them off.
+"They are not safe with me in my present life. I do not wish to have it
+in my power to take them to a pawnshop. I would rather starve first, and
+yet I would rather not be tempted. I can't explain. You cannot and
+should not know anything about the world in which I am living. Please
+give these to Mrs. Arnot, and ask her to keep them till I come for them;
+or she can send them, with the rest of my effects, to my mother. I have
+detained you too long already. Whatever may be my fate, I shall always
+remember you with the deepest gratitude and respect."
+
+There was distress in Laura's face as he spoke; but she took the watch
+and chain without a word, for she saw that he was fully resolved upon
+his course.
+
+"I know that Mrs. Arnot will respect my wish to remain in obscurity
+until I can come with a character differing from that which I now bear.
+Your life would be a very happy one, Miss Romeyn, if my wishes could
+make it so;" and the wood-sawyer bowed his farewell with the grace and
+dignity of a gentleman, in spite of his coarse laborer's garb. He then
+resumed his work, to the great relief of the woman, who had caught
+glimpses of the interview from her window, wondering and surmising why
+the "young leddy from the big house" should have so much to say to a
+wood-sawyer.
+
+"If she had a-given him a tract upon leavin', it would a-seemed more
+nateral like," she explained to a crony the latter part of the day.
+
+Mrs. Arnot did respect Haldane's desire to be left to himself until he
+came in the manner that his pride dictated; but, after hearing Laura's
+story, she cast many a wistful glance toward the one who, in spite of
+his grave faults and weaknesses, deeply interested her, and she sighed:
+
+"He must learn by hard experience."
+
+"Did I do wrong in speaking to him, auntie?" Laura asked.
+
+"I do not think so. Your motive was natural and kindly; and yet I would
+not like you to meet him again until he is wholly different in
+character, if that time ever comes."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXI
+
+MAGNANIMOUS MR. SHRUMPF
+
+
+After the excitement caused by his unexpected interview with Laura
+subsided, and Haldane was able to think it over quietly, it seemed to
+him that he had burned his ships behind him. He must now make good his
+proud words, for to go "crawling back" after what he had said to-day,
+and, of all persons, to the one whose opinion he most valued--this would
+be a humiliation the thought of which even he could not endure.
+
+Having finished his task, he scarcely glanced at the pittance which the
+woman reluctantly gave him, and went straight to the city post-office.
+He was so agitated with conflicting hopes and fears that his voice
+trembled as he asked if there were any letters addressed to E. H., and
+he was so deeply disappointed that he was scarcely willing to take the
+careless negative given. He even went to the express office, in the
+vague hope that the wary editors had remitted through them; and the
+leaden weight of despondency grew heavier at each brisk statement:
+
+"Nothing for E. H."
+
+He was so weary and low-spirited when he reached his dismal lodgings
+that he felt no disposition either to eat or drink, but sat down in the
+back part of the wretched, musty saloon, and, drawing his hat over his
+eyes, he gave himself up to bitter thoughts. With mental imprecations he
+cursed himself that he had not better understood the young girl who once
+had been his companion. Never before had she seemed so beautiful as
+to-day, and she had revealed a forming character as lovely as her
+person. She _was_ like Mrs. Arnot--the woman who seemed to him
+perfect--and what more could he say in her praise? And yet his folly had
+placed between them an impassable gulf. He was not misled by her
+kindness, for he remembered her words, and now believed them, "If I ever
+love a man he will be one that I can look up to and respect." If he
+could only have recognized her noble tendencies he might have resolutely
+set about becoming such a man. If his character had been pleasing to
+her, his social position would have given him the right to have aspired
+to her hand. Why had he not had sufficient sense to have realized that
+she was young--much too young to understand his rash, hasty passion? Why
+could he not have learned from her pure, delicate face that she might
+possibly be won by patient and manly devotion, but would be forever
+repelled from the man who wooed her like a Turk?
+
+In the light of experience he saw his mistakes. From his present depth
+he looked up, and saw the inestimable vantage ground which he once
+possessed. In his deep despondency he feared he never would regain it,
+and that his hopes of literary success would prove delusive.
+
+Regret like a cold, November wind, swept through all his thoughts and
+memories, and there seemed nothing before him but a chill winter of
+blight and failure that would have no spring.
+
+But he was not left to indulge his miserable mood very long, for his
+mousing landlord--having finally learned who Haldane was, and all the
+unfavorable facts and comments with which the press had abounded--now
+concluded that he could pounce upon him in such a way that something
+would be left in his claws before the victim could escape.
+
+That very morning Haldane had paid for his board to date, but had
+thoughtlessly neglected to have a witness or take a receipt. The
+grizzled grimalkin who kept the den, and thrived as much by his small
+filchings as from his small profits, had purred to himself, "Very goot,
+very goot," on learning that Haldane's word would not be worth much with
+the public or in court; and no yellow-eyed cat ever waited and watched
+for his prey with a quieter and cooler deliberation than did Weitzel
+Shrumpf, the host of the dingy little hotel.
+
+After Haldane appeared he delayed until a few cronies whom he could
+depend upon had dropped in, and then, in an off-hand way, stepped up to
+the despondent youth, and said:
+
+"I zay, mister, you been here zwei week; I want you bay me now."
+
+"What do you mean?" asked Haldane, looking up with an uncomprehending
+stare.
+
+"Dis is vot I mean; you buts me off long nuff. I vants zwei weeks'
+bort."
+
+"I paid you for everything up to this morning, and I have had nothing
+since."
+
+"O, you have baid me--strange I did not know. Vill you bays now ven I
+does know?"
+
+"I tell you I have paid you!" said Haldane, starting up.
+
+"Vel, vell, show me der receipt, an I says not von vort against him."
+
+"You did not give me a receipt."
+
+"No, I thinks not--not my vay to give him till I gits de moneys."
+
+"You are an unmitigated scoundrel. I won't pay you another cent."
+
+"Lock dat door, Carl," said the landlord, coolly, to one of his
+satellites. "Now, Mister Haldane, you bays, or you goes to jail. You has
+been dare vonce, and I'll but you dare dis night if you no bays me."
+
+"Gentlemen, I appeal to you to prevent this downright villany," cried
+Haldane.
+
+"I sees no villany," said one of the lookers-on, stolidly. "You shows
+your receipt, and he no touch you."
+
+"I neglected to take a receipt. I did not know I was dealing with a
+thief."
+
+"Ho, ho, ho!" laughed the landlord; "he tinks I vas honest like himself,
+who vas jus' out of jail!"
+
+"I won't pay you twice," said Haldane doggedly.
+
+"Carl, call de policeman, den."
+
+"Wait a moment; your rascality will do you no good, and may get you into
+trouble. I have very little money left."
+
+"Den you can leave your vatch till you brings de money."
+
+"Ah, thank Heaven! that is safe, and beyond your clutches."
+
+"In a pawnshop? or vas he stolen, like de tousand dollar, and you been
+made give him up?"
+
+Haldane had now recovered himself sufficiently to realize that he was in
+an ugly predicament. He was not sufficiently familiar with the law to
+know how much power his persecutor had, but feared, with good reason,
+that some kind of a charge could be trumped up which would lead to his
+being locked up for the night. Then would follow inevitably another
+series of paragraphs in the papers, deepening the dark hues in which
+they had already portrayed his character. He could not endure the
+thought that the last knowledge of him that Laura carried away with her
+from Hillaton should be that he was again in jail, charged with trying
+to steal his board and lodging from a poor and ignorant foreigner; for
+he foresaw that the astute Shrumpf, his German landlord, would appear in
+the police court in the character of an injured innocent. He pictured
+the disgust upon her face as she saw his name in the vile connection
+which this new arraignment would occasion, and he felt that he must
+escape it if possible. Although enraged at Shrumpf's false charge, he
+was cool enough to remember that he had nothing to oppose to it save his
+own unsupported word; and what was that worth in Hillaton? The public
+would even be inclined to believe the opposite of what he affirmed.
+Therefore, by a great effort, he regained his self-control, and said
+firmly and quietly:
+
+"Shrumpf, although you know I have paid you, I am yet in a certain sense
+within your power, since I did not take your receipt. I have not much
+money left, but after I have taken out fifty cents for my supper and bed
+you can take all the rest. My watch is in the hands of a friend, and you
+can't get that, and you can't get any more than I have by procuring my
+arrest; so take your choice. I don't want to have trouble with you, but
+I won't go out penniless and spend the night in the street, and if you
+send for a policeman I will make you all the trouble I can, and I
+promise you it will not be a little."
+
+Herr Shrumpf, conscious that he was on rather delicate ground, and
+remembering that he was already in bad odor with the police authorities,
+assumed a great show of generosity.
+
+"I vill not be tough," he said, "ven a man's boor and does all vat he
+can; I knows my rights, and I stands up for him, but ven I gits him den
+I be like von leetle lamb. I vill leave you tree quarter dollar, and you
+bays der rest vat you have, and we says nothing more 'bout him."
+
+"You are right--the least said the better about this transaction. I've
+been a fool, and you are a knave, and that is all there is to say. Here
+are seventy-five cents, which I keep, and there are four dollars, which
+is all I have--every cent. Now unlock your door and let me out."
+
+"I tinks you has more."
+
+"You can search my pockets if you wish. If you do, I call upon these men
+present to witness the act, for, as I have said, if you go beyond a
+certain point I will make you trouble, and justly, too."
+
+"Nah, nah! vat for I do so mean a ting? You but your hand in my bocket
+ven you takes my dinners, my lagers, and my brandies, but I no do vat no
+shentlemens does. You can go, and ven you brings de full moneys for zwei
+weeks' bort I gives you receipt for him."
+
+Haldane vouchsafed no reply, but hastened away, as a fly would escape
+from a spider's web. The episode, intensely disagreeable as it was, had
+the good effect of arousing him out of the paralysis of his deep
+despondency. Besides, he could not help congratulating himself that he
+had avoided another arrest and all the wretched experience which must
+have followed.
+
+He concluded that there was no other resource for him that night save
+"No. 13," the lodging-house in the side street where "no questions were
+asked"; and, having stolen into another obscure restaurant, he obtained
+such a supper as could be had for twenty-five cents. He then sought his
+former miserable refuge, and, as he could not pay extra for a private
+room on this occasion--for he must keep a little money for his
+breakfast--there was nothing for him, therefore, but to obtain what rest
+he could in a large, stifling room, half filled with miserable waifs
+like himself. He managed to get a bed near a window, which he raised
+slightly, and fatigue soon brought oblivion.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXII
+
+A MAN WHO HATED HIMSELF
+
+
+The light of the following day brought little hope or courage; but
+Haldane started out, after a meagre breakfast, to find some means of
+obtaining a dinner and a place to sleep. He was not as successful as
+usual, and noon had passed before he found anything to do.
+
+As he was plodding wearily along through a suburb he heard some one
+behind a high board fence speaking so loudly and angrily that he stopped
+to listen, and was not a little surprised to find that the man was
+talking to himself. For a few moments there was a sound of a saw, and
+when it ceased, a harsh, querulous voice commenced again:
+
+"A-a-h"--it would seem that the man thus given to soliloquy often began
+and finished his sentences with a vindictive and prolonged guttural
+sound like that here indicated--"Miserable hand at sawin' wood! Why
+don't you let some one saw it that knows how? Tryin' to save a half
+dollar; when you know it'll give you the rheumatiz, and cost ten in
+doctor bills! 'Nother thing; it's mean--mean as dirt. You know there's
+poor devils who need the work, and you're cheatin' 'em out of it. But
+it's just like yer! A-a-h!" and then the saw began again.
+
+Haldane was inclined to believe that this irascible stranger was as
+providential as the croaking ravens that fed the prophet, and he
+promptly sought the gate and entered. An old man looked up in some
+surprise. He was short in stature and had the stoop of one who is
+bending under the weight of years and infirmities. His features were as
+withered and brown as a russet apple that had been kept long past its
+season, and his head was surmounted by a shock of white locks that
+bristled out in all directions, as if each particular hair was on bad
+terms with its neighbors. Curious seams and wrinkles gave the continuous
+impression that the old gentleman had just swallowed something very
+bitter, and was making a wry face over it. But Haldane was in no mood
+for the study of physiognomy and character, however interesting a
+subject he might stumble upon, and he said:
+
+"I am looking for a little work, and with your permission I will saw
+that wood for whatever you are willing to pay."
+
+"That won't be much."
+
+"It will be enough to get a hungry man a dinner."
+
+"Haven't you had any dinner?"
+
+"No."
+
+"Why didn't you ask for one, then?"
+
+"Why should I ask you for a dinner?"
+
+"Why shouldn't you? If I be a tight-fisted man, I'm not mean enough to
+refuse a hungry man."
+
+"Give me some work, and I can buy my dinner."
+
+"What's your name?"
+
+"Egbert Haldane."
+
+"Ah ha! That name's been in the papers lately."
+
+"Yes, and _I_ have been in jail."
+
+"And do you expect me to have a man around that's been in jail?"
+
+"No; I don't expect any humanity from any human being that knows
+anything about me. I am treated as if I were the devil himself, and
+hadn't the power or wish to do anything save rob and murder. The public
+should keep such as I am in prison the rest of our lives, or else cut
+our throats. But this sending us out in the world to starve, and to be
+kicked and cuffed during the process, is scarcely in keeping with the
+Bible civilization they are always boasting of."
+
+He spoke recklessly and bitterly, and his experience made his words
+appear to him only too true. But his shrivelled and shrunken auditor
+grinned appreciatively, and said, with more than his usual vindictive
+emphasis:
+
+"A-a-h! that's the right kind of talk. Now you're gittin' past all this
+make-believin' to the truth. We're a cussed mean set--we folk who go to
+church and read the Bible, and then do just what the devil tells us,
+a-helpin him along all the time. Satan's got a strong grip on you, from
+all I hear, and we're all a-helpin' him keep it. You've gone half way to
+the devil, and all the good people tell you to go the rest of the way,
+for they won't have anything to do with you. Hain't that the way?"
+
+"Oh, no," said Haldane with a bitter sneer; "some of the good people to
+whom you refer put themselves out so far as to give me a little advice."
+
+"What was it wuth to you? Which would you ruther--some good advice from
+me, or the job of sawin' the wood there?"
+
+"Give me the saw--no matter about the advice," said Haldane, throwing
+off his coat.
+
+"A-a-h! wasn't I a fool to ask that question? Well, I don't belong to
+the good people, so go ahead--I don't s'pose you know much about sawin'
+wood, bro't up as you've been; but you can't do it wuss than me. I don't
+belong to any one. What I was made for I can't see, unless it is to be a
+torment to myself. Nobody can stand me. I can't stand myself. I've got a
+cat and dog that will stay with me, and sometimes I'll git up and kick
+'em jest for the chance of cussin' myself for doin' it."
+
+"And yet you are the first man in town that has shown me any practical
+kindness," said Haldane, placing another stick on his saw-buck.
+
+"Well, I kinder do it out o' spite to myself. There's somethin' inside
+of me sayin' all the time, 'Why are you spendin' time and money on this
+young scapegrace? It'll end in your havin' to give him a dinner, for you
+can't be so blasted mean as to let him go without it, and yet all the
+time you're wishin' that you needn't do it.'"
+
+"Well, you need not," said Haldane.
+
+"Yes, I must, too."
+
+"All I ask of you is what you think that work is worth."
+
+"Well, that ain't all I ask of my confounded old self. Here, you're
+hungry you say--s'pose you tell the truth sometimes; here you're down,
+and all the respectable people sittin' down hard on you; here you are in
+the devil's clutches, and he's got you half way toward the brimstone,
+and I'm grudgin' you a dinner, even when I know I've got to give it to
+you. That's what I call bein' mean and a fool both. A-a-h!"
+
+Haldane stopped a moment to indulge in the first laugh he had enjoyed
+since his arrest.
+
+"I hope you will pardon me, my venerable friend," said he; "but you have
+a rather strangely honest way of talking."
+
+"I'm old, but I ain't venerable. My name is Jeremiah Growther," was the
+snarling reply.
+
+"I'm fraid you have too much conscience, Mr. Growther. It won't let you
+do comfortably what others do as a matter of course."
+
+"I've nothin' to do with other people. I know what's right, and I'm all
+the time hatin' to do it. That's the mean thing about me which I can't
+stand. A-a-h!"
+
+"I'm sorry my coming has made you so out of sorts with yourself."
+
+"If it ain't you it's somethin' else. I ain't more out of sorts than
+usual."
+
+"Well, you'll soon be rid of me--I'll be through in an hour."
+
+"Yes, and here it is the middle of the afternoon, and you haven't had
+your dinner yet, and for all I know, no breakfast nuther. I was precious
+careful to have both of mine, and find it very comfortable standin' here
+a-growlin' while you're workin' on an empty stomach. But it's just like
+me. A-a-h! I'll call you in a few minutes, and I won't pay you a cent
+unless you come in;" and the old man started for the small dilapidated
+cottage which he shared with the cat and dog that, as he stated, managed
+to worry along with him.
+
+But he had not taken many steps before he stumbled slightly against a
+loose stone, and he stopped for a moment, as if he could find no
+language equal to the occasion, and then commenced such a tirade of
+abuse with his poor weazened little self as its object, that one would
+naturally feel like taking sides with the decrepit body against the
+vindictive spirit. Haldane would have knocked a stranger down had he
+said half as much to the old gentleman, who seemed bent on befriending
+him after his own odd fashion. But the irate old man finished his
+objurgation with the words:
+
+"What's one doin' above ground who can't lift his foot over a stone only
+an inch high? A-a-h!" and then he went on, and disappeared in the house,
+from the open door of which not long after came the savory odor of
+coffee.
+
+Partly to forget his miserable self in his employer's strange manner,
+and partly because he was almost faint from hunger, Haldane concluded to
+accept this first invitation to dine out in Hillaton, resolving that he
+would do his queer host some favor to make things even.
+
+"Come in," shouted Mr. Growther a few minutes later.
+
+Haldane entered quite a large room, which presented an odd aspect of
+comfort and disorder.
+
+"There's a place to wash your hands, if you think it's wuth while. I
+don't often, but I hope there's few like me," said the busy host,
+lifting the frying-pan from some coals, and emptying from it a generous
+slice of ham and three or four eggs on a platter.
+
+"I like your open fire-place," said Haldane, looking curiously around
+the hermitage as he performed his ablutions.
+
+"That's a nuther of my weaknesses. I know a stove would be more
+convenient and economical, but I hate all improvements."
+
+"One would think, from what you said, your cat and dog had a hard time
+of it; but two more sleek, fat, and lazy animals I never saw."
+
+"No thanks to me. I s'pose they've got clear consciences."
+
+As the table began to fairly groan with good things, Haldane said:
+
+"Look here, Mr. Growther, are you in the habit of giving disreputable
+people such a dinner as that?"
+
+"If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for you," was the tart
+reply.
+
+"O, I'm not finding fault; I only wanted you to know that I would be
+grateful for much less."
+
+"I'm not doin' it to please you, but to spite myself."
+
+"Have your own way, of course," said Haldane, laughing: "it's a little
+odd, though, that your spite against yourself should mean so much
+practical kindness to me."
+
+"Hold on!" cried his host, as Haldane was about to attack the viands;
+"ain't you goin' to say grace?"
+
+"Well," said the young man, somewhat embarrassed, "I would rather you
+would say it for me."
+
+"I might as well eat your dinner for you."
+
+"Mr. Growther, you are an unusually honest man, and I think a kind one;
+so I am not going to act out any lies before you. Although your dinner
+is the best one I have seen for many a long day, or am likely to see,
+yet, to tell you the truth, I could swear over it easier than I could
+pray over it."
+
+"A-a-h! that's the right spirit; that's the way I ought to feel. Now you
+see what a mean hypocrite I am. I'm no Christian--far from it--and yet I
+always have a sneakin' wish to say grace over my victuals. As if it
+would do anybody any good! If I'd jest swear over 'em, as you say, then
+I would be consistent."
+
+"Are you in earnest in all this strange talk?"
+
+"Yes, I am; I hate myself."
+
+"Why?"
+
+"Because I know all about myself. A-a-h!"
+
+"How many poor, hungry people have you fed since the year opened?"
+
+"Your question shows me jest what I am. I could tell you within three or
+four. I found myself a-countin' of 'em up and a-gloryin' in it all the
+tother night, takin' credit to myself for givin' away a few victuals
+after I had had plenty myself. Think of a man gittin' self-righteous
+over givin' to some poor fellow-critters what he couldn't eat himself!
+If that ain't meanness, what is it? A-a-h!"
+
+"But you haven't told me how many you have fed."
+
+"No, and I ain't a-goin' to--jest to spite myself. I want to tell you,
+and to take credit for it, but I'll head myself off this time."
+
+"But you could eat these things which you are serving to me--if not
+to-day, why, then to-morrow."
+
+"To-morrow's income will provide for to-morrow. The Lord shows he's down
+on this savin' and hoardin' up of things, for he makes 'em get musty
+right away; and if anything spiles on my hands I'm mad enough to bite
+myself in two."
+
+"But if you treat all stragglers as you do me, you do not give away odds
+and ends and what's left over. This coffee is fine old Java, and a more
+delicate ham I never tasted."
+
+"Now you hit me twice. I will have the best for myself, instead of
+practicin' self-denial and economy. Then I'm always wantin' to get some
+second-hand victuals to give away, but I daresn't. You see I read the
+Bible sometimes, and it's the most awfully oncomfortable book that ever
+was written. You know what the Lord says in it--or you ought to--about
+what we do for the least of these his brethren; that means such as you,
+only you're a sort of black sheep in the family; and if words have any
+sense at all, the Lord takes my givin' you a dinner the same as if I
+gave it to him. Now s'pose the Lord came to my house, as he did to Mary
+and Martha's, and I should git him up a slimpsy dinner of second-hand
+victuals, and stand by a-chucklin' that I had saved twenty-five cents on
+it, wouldn't that be meanness itself? Some time ago I had a ham that I
+couldn't and wouldn't eat, and they wouldn't take it back at the store,
+so I got some of the Lord's poor brethren to come to dinner, and I
+palmed it off on them. But I had to cuss myself the whole evenin' to pay
+up for it! A-a-h!"
+
+"By Jove!" cried Haldane, dropping his knife and fork, and looking
+admiringly at his host, who stood on the hearth, running his fingers
+through his shock of white hair, his shriveled and bristling aspect
+making a marked contrast with his sleek and lazy cat and dog--"by Jove,
+you are that I call a Christian!"
+
+"Now, look here, young man," said Mr. Growther, wrathfully, "though you
+are under no obligations to me, you've got no business makin' game of me
+and callin' me names, and I won't stand it. You've got to be civil and
+speak the truth while you're on my premises, whether you want to or no."
+
+Haldane shrugged his shoulders, laughed, and made haste with his dinner,
+for with such a gusty and variable host he might not get a chance to
+finish it. As he glanced around the room, however, and saw how cosey and
+inviting it might be made by a little order and homelike arrangement, he
+determined to fix it up according to his own ideas, if he could
+accomplish it without actually coming to blows with the occupant.
+
+"Who keeps house for you?" he asked.
+
+"Didn't I tell you nobody could stand me!"
+
+"Will you stand me for about half an hour while I fix up this room for
+you?"
+
+"No!"
+
+"What will you do if I attempt it?"
+
+"I'll set the dog on you."
+
+"Nothing worse?" asked Haldane, with a laughing glance at the lazy cur.
+
+"You might take something."
+
+An expression of sharp pain crossed the young man's face; the sunshine
+faded out of it utterly, and he said in a cold, constrained voice, as he
+rose from the table:
+
+"Oh, I forgot for a moment that I am a thief in the world's estimation."
+
+"That last remark of mine was about equal to a kick, wasn't it?"
+
+"A little worse."
+
+"Ain't you used to 'em yet?"
+
+"I ought to be."
+
+"Why, do many speak out as plain as that?"
+
+"They act it out just as plainly. Since you don't trust me, you had
+better watch me, lest I put some cord-wood in my pocket."
+
+"What do you want to do?"
+
+"If the world is going to insist upon it that I am a scoundrel to the
+end of the chapter, I want to find some deep water, and get under it,"
+was the reckless reply.
+
+"A-a-h! Didn't I say we respectable people and the devil was in
+partnership over you? He wants to get you under deep water as soon as
+possible, and we're all a-helpin' him along. Young man, I _am_ afraid of
+you, like the rest, and it seems to me that I think more of my old duds
+here than of your immortal soul that the devil has almost got. But I'm
+goin' to spite him and myself for once. I'm goin' down town after the
+evenin' paper, and, instead of lockin' up, as I usually do, I shall
+leave you in charge. I know it's risky, and I hate to do it, but it
+seems to me that you ought ter have sense enough to know that if you
+take all I've got you would be jest that much wuss off;" and before
+Haldane could remonstrate or reply he took a curiously twisted and
+gnarled cane that resembled himself and departed.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIII
+
+MR. GROWTHER BECOMES GIGANTIC
+
+
+Haldane was so surprised at Mr. Growther's unexpected course that the
+odd old man was out of the gate before the situation was fully realized.
+His first impulse was to follow, and say that he would not be left alone
+in circumstances that might compromise him; but a second thought assured
+him that he was past being compromised. So he concluded to fall in with
+his host's queer humor, and try to prove himself worthy of trust. He
+cleared away his dinner with as much deftness as could be expected of
+one engaging in an unusual task, and put everything in its place, or
+what should be its place. He next found a broom, and commenced sweeping
+the room, which unwonted proceeding aroused the slumbering cat and dog,
+and they sat up and stared at the stranger with unfeigned astonishment.
+
+The cat looked on quietly and philosophically, acting on the generally
+received principle of the world, of not worrying until her own interests
+seemed threatened. But the dog evidently thought of the welfare of his
+absent master, and had a vague troubled sense that something was wrong.
+He waddled up to the intruder, and gravely smelled of him. By some
+canine casuistry he arrived at the same conclusion which society had
+reached--that Haldane was a suspicious character, and should be kept at
+arm's-length. Indeed, the sagacious beast seemed to feel toward the
+unfortunate youth precisely the same impulse which had actuated all the
+prudent citizens in town--a desire to be rid of him, and to have nothing
+to do with him. If Haldane would only take himself off to parts unknown,
+to die in a gutter, or to commit a burglary, that he might, as it were,
+break into jail again, and so find a refuge and an abiding-place, the
+faithful dog, believing his master's interests no longer endangered,
+would have resumed his nap with the same complacence and sense of relief
+which scores of good people had felt as they saw Mr. Arnot's dishonored
+clerk disappearing from their premises, after their curt refusal of his
+services. The community's thoughts and wary eyes followed him only
+sufficiently long to be sure that he committed no further depredations,
+and then he was forgotten, or remembered only as a danger, or an
+annoyance, happily escaped. What was to become of this drifting human
+atom appeared to cause no more solicitude in town than Mr. Growther's
+dog would feel should he succeed in growling the intruder out of the
+house; for, being somewhat mystified, and not exactly sure as to his
+master's disposition toward the stranger, he concluded to limit his
+protest to a union of his voice with what might be termed society's
+surly and monotonous command, "Move on."
+
+Haldane tried to propitiate this mild and miniature Cerberus with a
+dainty piece of ham, but was rewarded only by a disdainful sniff and
+angrier snarl. The politic cat, however, with wary glances at the dog
+and the stranger, stole noiselessly to the meat, seized it, and
+retreated quickly to her recognized corner of the hearth; but when the
+youth, hoping that the morsel might lead to a friendly acquaintance,
+offered a caress, her back and tail went up instantly, and she became
+the embodiment of repellant conservatism. He looked at her a moment, and
+then said, with a bitter laugh:
+
+"If you could be transformed into a woman, as the old fairy tale goes,
+you would make an excellent wife for Weitzel Shrumpf, while the snarling
+dog represents the respectable portion of the community, that will have
+nothing to do with me whatever. When my pen, however, has brought name
+and fame, the churlish world will be ready to fawn, and forget that it
+tried to trample me into the mire of the street until I became a part of
+it. Curses on the world! I would give half my life for the genius of a
+Byron, that I migt heap scorn on society until it writhed under the
+intolerable burden. Oh that I had a wit as keen and quick as the
+lightning, so that I might transfix and shrivel up the well-dressed
+monsters that now shun me as if I had a contagion!"
+
+From a heart overflowing with bitterness and impotent protest against
+the condition to which his own act had reduced him, Haldane was learning
+to indulge in such bitter soliloquy with increasing frequency. It is
+ever the tendency of those who find themselves at odds with the world,
+and in conflict with the established order of things, to inveigh with
+communistic extravagance against the conservatism and wary prudence
+which they themselves would have maintained had all remained well with
+them. The Haldane who had meditated "gloomy grandeur" would not have
+looked at the poor, besmirched Haldane who had just accepted what the
+world would regard as charity. The only reason why the proud,
+aristocratic youth could tolerate and make excuse for the disreputable
+character who was glad to eat the dinner given by Jeremiah Growther, was
+that this same ill-conditioned fellow was himself. Thus every bitter
+thing which he said against society was virtually self-condemnation. And
+yet his course was most natural, for men almost invariably forget that
+their views change with their fortunes. Thousands will at once form a
+positive opinion of a subject from its aspect seen at their standpoint,
+where one will walk around and scan it on all sides.
+
+Either to spite himself, or to show his confidence in one whom others
+regarded as utterly unworthy of trust, Mr. Growther remained away
+sufficiently long for Haldane to have made up a bundle of all the
+valuables in the house, and have escaped. The young man soon discovered
+that there were valuables, but anything like vulgar theft never entered
+his mind. That people should believe him capable of acting the part of a
+common thief was one of the strange things in his present experience
+which he could not understand.
+
+Finally, to the immense relief of the honest and conservative dog, that
+had growled himself hoarse, Haldane gave the room its finishing touches,
+and betook himself to the woodpile again. The cat watched his departure
+with philosophic composure. Like many fair ladies, she had thought
+chiefly of herself during the interview with the stranger, from whom she
+had managed to secure a little agreeable attention without giving
+anything in return; and, now that it was over, she complacently purred
+herself to sleep, with nothing to regret.
+
+"Hullo! you're here yet, eh!" said Mr. Growther, entering the gate.
+
+"Can you name any good reason why I should not be here?" asked Haldane,
+somewhat nettled.
+
+"No, but I could plenty of bad reasons."
+
+"Keep them to yourself then," said the young man, sullenly resuming his
+work.
+
+"You talk as if you was an honest man," growled the old gentleman,
+hobbling into the house.
+
+Sitting down in his stout oak chair to rest himself, he stared in
+silence for a time at the changes that Haldane had wrought. At last he
+commenced:
+
+"Now, Jeremiah Growther, I hope you can see that you are a perfect pig!
+I hope you can see that dirt and confusion are your nateral elements;
+and you had to live like a pig till a boy just out of jail came to show
+you what it was to live like a decent human. But you've been showed
+before, and you'll get things mixed up to-morrow. A-a-h!
+
+"Where's that young fellow goin' to sleep to-night? That's none o' your
+business. Yes, 'tis my business, too. I'm always mighty careful to know
+where I'm goin' to sleep, and if I don't sleep well my cat and dog hear
+from me the next day. You could be mighty comfortable tonight in your
+good bed with this young chap sittin' on a curb-stun in the rain; but I
+be hanged if you shall be. It's beginnin' to rain now--it's goin' to be
+a mean night--mean as yourself--a cold, oncomfortable drizzle; just such
+a night as makes these poor homeless devils feel that since they are
+half under water they might as well go down to the river and get under
+altogether. P'raps they do it sometimes in the hope of finding a warm,
+dry place somewhere. Dreadful suddint change for 'em, though! And it's
+we respectable, comfortable people that's to blame for these suddint
+changes half the time.
+
+"You know that heady young chap out there will go to the bad if somebody
+don't pull him up. You know that it would be mean as dirt to let him go
+wanderin' off to-night with only fifty cents in his pocket, tryin' to
+find some place to put his head in out of the storm; and yet you want to
+git out of doin' anything more for him. You're thinkin' how much more
+comfortable it will be to sit dozin' in your chair, and not have any
+stranger botherin' round. But I'll head you off agin in spite of your
+cussed, mean, stingy, selfish, old, shrivelled-up soul, that would like
+to take its ease even though the hull world was a-groanin' outside the
+door. A-a-h!"
+
+Having made it clear to the perverse Jeremiah Growther--against whom he
+seemed to hold such an inveterate spite--what he must do, he arose and
+called to Haldane:
+
+"What are you doin' out there in the rain?"
+
+"I'll be through in a few minutes."
+
+"I don't want the rest done till mornin'."
+
+"It will pay neither of us for me to come back here to do what's left."
+
+"It may pay you, and as to its payin' me, that's my business."
+
+"Not altogether--I wish to do my work on business principles; I haven't
+got down to charity yet."
+
+"Well, have your own way, then; I s'pose other folks have a right to
+have it as well as myself, sometimes. Come in soon as you are through."
+
+By the time Haldaue finished his task the clouds had settled heavily all
+around the horizon, hastening forward an early and gloomy twilight, and
+the rain was beginning to fall steadily. His mood comported with the
+aspect of sky and earth, and weariness, the fast ally of despondency,
+aided in giving a leaden hue to the future and a leaden weight, to his
+thoughts. The prospect of trudging a mile or more through the drenching
+rain to his previous squalid resting-place at No. 13, whose only
+attraction consisted in the fact that no questions were asked, was so
+depressing that he decided to ask Mr. Growther for permission to sleep
+in the corner of his woodshed.
+
+"Come in," shouted Mr. Growther, in response to his knock at the door.
+
+"I'm through," said Haldane laconically.
+
+"Well, I ain't," replied Mr. Growther; "you wouldn't mind taking that
+cheer till I am, would you?"
+
+Haldane found the cushioned armchair and the genial fire exceedingly to
+his taste, and he felt that in such comfortable quarters he could endure
+hearing the old man berate himself or any one else for an hour or more.
+
+"Where are you goin' to sleep to-night?" asked his quaint-visaged host.
+
+"That is a problem I had been considering myself," answered Haldane,
+dubiously. "I had about concluded that, rather than walk back through
+the rain to the wretched place at which I slept last night, I would ask
+for the privilege of sleeping in your wood-shed. It wouldn't be much
+worse than the other place, or any place in which I could find lodging
+if I were known. Since I did not steal your silver I suppose you can
+trust me with your wood."
+
+"Yet they say your folks is rich."
+
+"Yes, I can go to as elegant a house as there is in this city."
+
+"Why in thunder don't you go there, then?"
+
+"Because I would rather be in your wood-shed and other places like it
+for the present."
+
+"I can't understand that."
+
+"Perhaps not, but there are worse things than sleeping hard and cold.
+There are people who suffer more through their minds than their bodies.
+I am not going back among my former acquaintances till I can go as a
+gentleman."
+
+The old man looked at him approvingly a moment, and then said
+sententiously:
+
+"Well, you may be a bad cuss, but you ain't a mean one."
+
+Haldane laughed outright. "Mr. Growther," said he, "you do me honor. I
+foresee you will trust me with your wood-pile to-night."
+
+"No I won't nuther. You might not take my wood, but you would take cold,
+and then I'd have to nuss you and pay doctor's bills, and bother with
+you a week or more. I might even have your funeral on my hands. You
+needn't think you're goin' to get me into all this trouble, fur I'm one
+that hates trouble, unless it's fur myself; and, if I do say it, it's
+askin' a little too much of me, almost a stranger, to 'tend to your
+funeral. I don't like funerals--never did--and I won't have nothin' to
+do with yours. There's a room right upstairs here, over the kitchen,
+where you can sleep without wakin' up the hull neighborhood a coughin'
+before mornin'. Now don't say nothin' more about it. I'm thinkin' of
+myself plaguy sight more'n I am of you. If I could let you go to the
+dogs without worryin' about it, I'd do it quick enough; but I've got a
+miserable, sneakin' old conscience that won't stand right up and make me
+do right, like a man; but when I want to do some thin' mean it begins a
+gnawin' and a gnawin' at me till I have to do what I oughter for the
+sate of a little peace and comfort. A-a-h!"
+
+"Your uncomfortable conscience seems bent on making me very comfortable;
+and yet I pledge you my word that I will stay only on one condition, and
+that is, that you let me get supper and breakfast for you, and also read
+the paper aloud this evening. I can see that you are tired and lame from
+your walk. Will you agree?"
+
+"Can't very well help myself. These easterly storms allers brings the
+rheumatiz into my legs. About all they are good fur now is to have the
+rheumatiz in 'em. So set plates for two, and fire ahead."
+
+Haldane entered into his tasks with almost boyish zest. "I've camped out
+in the woods, and am considerable of a cook," said he. "You shall have
+some toast browned to a turn, to soak in your tea, and then you shall
+have some more with hot cream poured over it. I'll shave the smoked beef
+so thin that you can see to read through it."
+
+"Umph! I can't see after dark any more than an old hen."
+
+"How did you expect to read the paper then?" asked Haldane, without
+pausing in his labors.
+
+"I only read the headin's. I might as well make up the rest as the
+editors, fur then I can make it up to suit me. It's all made up half the
+time, you know."
+
+"Well, you shall hear the editors' yarns to-night then, by way of
+variety."
+
+The old man watched the eager young fellow as he bustled from the
+cupboard to the table, and from the store-closet to the fireplace, with
+a kindly twinkle in his small eyes, from which the deep wrinkles ran in
+all directions and in strange complexity. There could scarcely be a
+greater contrast than that between the headstrong and stalwart youth and
+the withered and eccentric hermit; but it would seem that mutual
+kindness is a common ground on which all the world can meet and add
+somewhat to each other's welfare.
+
+The sound hard wood which Haldane had just sawn into billets blazed
+cheerily on the hearth, filling the quaint old kitchen with weird and
+flickering lights and shades. Mr. Growther was projected against the
+opposite wall in the aspect of a benevolent giant, and perhaps the
+large, kindly, but unsubstantial shadow was a truer type of the man than
+the shrivelled anatomy with which the town was familiar. The
+conservative dog, no longer disquieted by doubts and fears, sat up and
+blinked approvingly at the preparation for supper. The politic cat, now
+satisfied that any attentions to the stranger would not compromise her,
+and might lead to another delicate morsel, fawned against his legs, and
+purred as affectionately as if she had known him all her life and would
+not scratch him instantly if he did anything displeasing to her.
+
+Take it altogether, it was a domestic scene which would have done Mrs.
+Arnot's heart good to have witnessed; but poor Mrs. Haldane would have
+sighed over it as so utterly unconventional as to be another proof of
+her son's unnatural tastes. In her estimation he should spend social
+evenings only in aristocratic parlors; and she mourned over the fact
+that from henceforth he was excluded from these privileged places of his
+birthright, with a grief only less poignant than her sorrow over what
+seemed to her a cognate truth, that his course and character also
+excluded him from heaven.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIV
+
+HOW PUBLIC OPINION IS OFTEN MADE
+
+
+"I don't s'pose there's any use of two such reprobates as us thinkin'
+about sayin' grace," said Mr. Growther, taking his place at the head of
+the table; "and yet, as I said, I allers have a sneakin' wish jest to go
+through the form; so we'll all begin in the same way--cat and dog and
+God's rational critters. Howsomever, they don't know no better, and so
+their consciences is clear. I'll own up this toast is good, if I am
+eatin' it like a heathen. If you can't find anything else to do, you can
+take to cookin' for a livin'."
+
+"No one in town, save yourself, would trust me in their kitchen."
+
+"Well, it does seem as if a man had better lose everything rather than
+his character," said Mr. Growther thoughtfully.
+
+"Then it seems a pity a man can lose it so cursed easily," added Haldane
+bitterly, "for, having lost it, all the respectable and well-to-do would
+rather one should go to the devil a thousand times than give him a
+chance to win it back again."
+
+"You put it rather strong--rather strong," said the old man, shaking his
+head; "for some reason or other I am not as mad at myself and everything
+and everybody to-night as usual, and I can see things clearer. Be honest
+now. A month ago you belonged to the rich, high-flyin' class. How much
+then would you have had to do with a young fellow of whom you knew only
+four things--that he gambled, got drunk, 'bezzled a thousand dollars,
+and had been in jail? That's all most people in town know about you."
+
+Haldane laid down his knife and fork and fairly groaned.
+
+"I know the plain truth is tough to hear and think about, and I'm an old
+brute to spile your supper by bringing it up. I hope you won't think I'm
+trying to save some victuals by doin' it. And yet it's the truth, and
+you've got to face it. But face it to-morrow--face it to-morrow; have a
+comfortable time to-night."
+
+"Your statement of the case is perfectly bald," said Haldane, with a
+troubled brow; "there are explanatory and excusing circumstances."
+
+"Yes, no doubt; but the world don't take much account of them. When one
+gits into a scrape, about the only question asked is, What did he _do?_
+And they all jump to the conclusion that if he did it once he'll do it
+agin. Lookin' into the circumstances takes time and trouble, and it
+isn't human nature to bother much about other people."
+
+"What chance is there, then, for such as I am?"
+
+The old man hitched uneasily on his chair, but at last, with his
+characteristic bluntness said, "Hanged if I know! They say that them
+that gits down doesn't very often git up again. Yet I know they do
+sometimes."
+
+"What would you do if you were me?"
+
+"Hanged if I know that either! Sit down and cuss myself to all eternity,
+like enough. I feel like doin' it sometimes as it is. A-a-h!"
+
+"I think I know a way out of the slough," said Haldane more
+composedly--his thoughts recurring to his literary hopes--"and if I do,
+you will not be sorry."
+
+"Of course I won't be sorry. A man allers hates one who holds a mortgage
+against him which is sure to be foreclosed. That's the way the devil's
+got me, and I hate him about as bad as I do myself, and spite him every
+chance I git. Of course, I'll be glad to see you git out of his
+clutches; but he's got his claws in you deep, and he holds on to a
+feller as if he'd pull him in two before he'll let go."
+
+"Mr. Growther, I don't want to get into a quarrel with you, for I have
+found that you are very touchy on a certain point; but I cannot help
+hinting that you are destined to meet a great disappointment when
+through with your earthly worry. I wish my chances were as good as
+yours."
+
+"Now you are beginnin' to talk foolishly. I shall never be rid of
+myself, and so will never be rid of my worry."
+
+"Well, well, we won't discuss the question; it's too deep for us both;
+but in my judgment it will be a great piece of injustice if you ever
+find a warmer place than your own hearthstone."
+
+"That's mighty hot, sometimes, boy; and, besides, your judgment hasn't
+led you very straight so far," said the old man testily. "But don't talk
+of such things. I don't want to come to 'em till I have to."
+
+"Suppose I should become rich and famous, Mr. Growther," said Haldane,
+changing the subject; "would you let me take a meal with you then?"
+
+"That depends. If you put on any airs I wouldn't."
+
+"Good for you!"
+
+"Oh, I'd want to make much of you, and tell how I helped you when you
+was down, and so git all the reflected glory I could out of you. I've
+learned how my sneakin' old speret pints every time; but I'll head it
+off, and drive it back as I would a fox into its hole."
+
+In spite of some rather harrowing and gloomy thoughts on the part of two
+of them, the four inmates of the cottage made a very comfortable supper;
+for Mr. Growther always insisted that since his cat and dog could "stand
+him," they should fare as well as he did.
+
+Having cleared the table, Haldane lighted a candle--kerosene lamps were
+an abomination that Mr. Growther Would not abide--and began reading
+aloud the "Evening Spy." The old gentleman half listened and half dozed,
+pricking up his ears at some tale of trouble or crime, and almost
+snoring through politics and finance. At last he was half startled out
+of his chair by a loud, wrathful oath from Haldane.
+
+"Look here, young man," he said; "the devil isn't so far off from either
+of us that you need shout for him."
+
+"True, indeed! he isn't far off, and he has everything his own way in
+this world. Listen to this"--and he read with sharp, bitter emphasis the
+following editorial paragraph, headed "Unnatural Depravity":
+
+"Being ever inclined to view charitably the faults and failings of
+others, and to make allowance for the natural giddiness of youth, we
+gave a rather lenient estimate, not of the crime committed by Mr.
+Arnot's clerk, Egbert Haldane, but of the young man himself. It would
+seem that our disposition to be kindly led us into error, for we learn
+from our most respectable German contemporary, published in this city,
+that this same unscrupulous young fraud has been guilty of the meanness
+of taking advantage of a poor foreigner's ignorance of our language.
+Having found it impossible to obtain lodgings among those posted in the
+current news of the day, and thus to impose on any one to whom he was
+known, he succeeded in obtaining board of a respectable German, and ran
+up as large a bill as possible at the bar, of course. When the landlord
+of the hotel and restaurant at last asked for a settlement, this young
+scapegrace had the insolence to insist that he had paid every cent of
+his bill, though he had not a scrap of paper or proof to support his
+assertion. Finding that this game of bluster would not succeed, and that
+his justly incensed host was about to ask for his arrest, he speedily
+came down from his high and virtuous mood, and compromised by pretending
+to offer all the money he had.
+
+"This was undoubtedly a mere pretence, for he had worn a valuable watch
+in the morning, and had parted with it during the day. Though the sum he
+apparently had upon his person was scarcely half payment, the
+kind-hearted German took him at his word, and also left him seventy-five
+cents to procure lodgings elsewhere. In what role of crime he will next
+appear it is hard to guess; but it seems a pity that Mr. Arnot did not
+give him the full benefit of the law, for thus the community would have
+been rid, for a time at least, of one who can serve his day and
+generation better at breaking stone under the direction of the State
+than by any methods of his own choosing. He is one of those phenomenal
+cases of unnatural depravity; for, as far as we can learn, he comes from
+a home of wealth, refinement, and even Christian culture. We warn our
+fellow-citizens against him."
+
+"A-a-a-h!" ejaculated Mr. Growther, in prolonged and painful utterance,
+as if one of his teeth had just been drawn. "Now that is tough! I don't
+wonder you think Satan had a finger in that pie. Didn't I tell you the
+editors made up half that's in the papers? I don't know what started
+this story. There's generally a little beginning, like the seed of a big
+flauntin' weed; but I don't believe you did so mean a thing. In fact, I
+don't think I'm quite mean enough to have done it myself."
+
+"You, and perhaps one other person, will be the only ones in town, then,
+who will not believe it against me. I know I've acted wrong and like a
+fool; but what chance has a fellow when he gets credit for evil only,
+and a hundred-fold more evil than is in him? Curse it all! since every
+one insists that I have gone wholly over to the devil, I might as well
+go."
+
+"That's it, that's it! we're all right at his elbow, a-helpin' him
+along. But how did this story start? The scribbler in the German paper
+couldn't have spun it, like a spider, hully out of his own in'ards."
+
+Haldane told him the whole story, sketching the "kind-hearted German" in
+his true colors.
+
+At its conclusion Mr. Growther drew a long, meditative breath, and
+remarked sententiously, "Well, I've allers heard that 'sperience was an
+awfully dear school; but we do learn in it. I'll bet my head you will
+never pay another dollar without takin' a receipt."
+
+"What chance will I ever have to make another dollar? They have raised a
+mad-dog cry against me, and I shall be treated as if I were a dog."
+
+"Why don't you go home, then?"
+
+"I'll go to the bottom of the river first."
+
+"That would suit the devil, the crabs, and the eels," remarked Mr.
+Growther.
+
+"Faugh! crabs and eels!" exclaimed Haldane with a shudder of disgust.
+
+"That's all you'd find at the bottom of the river, except mud,"
+responded Mr. Growther, effectually quenching all tragic and suicidal
+ideas by his prosaic statement of the facts. "Young man," he continued,
+tottering to his feet, "I s'pose you realize that you are in a pretty
+bad fix. I ain't much of a mother at comfortin'. When I feel most sorry
+for any one I'm most crabbed. It's one of my mean ways. If there's many
+screws loose in you, you will go under. If you are rash, or cowardly, or
+weak--that is, ready to give up-like--you will make a final mess of your
+life; but if you fight your way up you'll be a good deal of a man. Seems
+to me if I was as young and strong as you be, I'd pitch in. I'd spite
+myself; I'd spite the devil; I'd beat the world; I'd just grit my teeth,
+and go fur myself and everything else that stood in my way, and I'd whip
+'em all out, or I'd die a-fightin'. But I've got so old and rheumatic
+that all I can do is cuss. A-a-h!"
+
+"I will take your advice--I will fight it out," exclaimed the excitable
+youth with an oath. Between indignation and desperation he was
+thoroughly aroused. He already cherished only revenge toward the world,
+and he was catching the old man's vindictive spirit toward himself.
+
+Mr. Growther seemed almost as deeply incensed as his guest at the gross
+injustice of the paragraph, which, nevertheless, would be widely copied,
+and create public opinion, and so double the difficulties in the young
+man's way; and he kept up as steady a grumble and growl as had his
+sorely disquieted dog in the afternoon. But Haldane lowered at the fire
+for a long time in silence.
+
+"Well," concluded the quaint old cynic, "matters can't be mended by
+swearin' at 'em, is advice I often give myself, but never take. I s'pose
+it's bed-time. To-morrow we will take another squint at your ugly
+fortunes, and see which side pints toward daylight. Would you mind
+readin' a chapter in the Bible first?"
+
+"What have I to do with the Bible?"
+
+"Well, the Bible has a good deal to say about you and most other
+people."
+
+"Like those who pretend to believe it, it has nothing good to say about
+me. I've had about all the hard names I can stand for one night."
+
+"Read where it hits some other folks, then."
+
+"Oh, I will read anywhere you like. It's a pity if I can't do that much
+for perhaps the only one now left in the world who would show me a
+kindness."
+
+"That's a good fellow. There's one chapter I'd like to hear to-night.
+The words come out so strong and hearty-like that they generally express
+just my feelin's. Find the twenty-third chapter of Matthew, and read
+where it says, 'Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites.'"
+
+Haldane read the chapter with much zest, crediting all its denunciation
+to others, in accordance with a very general fashion. When he came to
+the words, "Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers," the old man fairly
+rubbed his hands together in his satisfaction, exclaiming:
+
+"That's it! that's genuine! that's telling us sleek, comfortable sinners
+the truth without mincin'! No smooth, deludin' lies in that chapter.
+That's the way to talk to people who don't want their right hand to know
+what cussedness their left hand is up to. Now, Jeremiah Growther, the
+next time you want to do a mean thing that you wouldn't have all the
+town know, just remember what a wrigglin' snake in the grass you are."
+
+With this personal exhortation Mr. Growther brought the evening to a
+close, and, having directed Haldane to his comfortable quarters, hobbled
+and mumbled off to an adjoining room, and retired for the night. The
+dying fire revealed for a time the slumbering cat and dog, but gradually
+the quaint old kitchen faded into a blank of darkness.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXV
+
+A PAPER PONIARD
+
+
+Throughout an early breakfast Mr. Growther appeared to be revolving some
+subject in his mind, and his question, at last, was only seemingly
+abrupt, for it came at the end of quite a long mental altercation, in
+which, of course, he took sides against himself.
+
+"I say, young man, do you think you could stand me?"
+
+"What do you mean?" asked Haldane.
+
+"Well, before you say no, you ought to realize all the bearin's of the
+case. The town is down on you. Respectable people won't have nothin' to
+do with you, any more than they would walk arm in arm with the
+charcoal-man in their Sunday toggery. I aren't respectable, so you can't
+blacken me. I've showed you I'm not afraid to trust you. You can't sleep
+in the streets, you can't eat pavin'-stuns and mud, and you won't go
+home. This brings me to the question again: Can you stand me? I warn you
+I'm an awful oncomfortable customer to live with; I won't take any mean
+advantage of you in this respect, and, what's more, I don't s'pose I'll
+behave any better for your sake or anybody else's. I'm all finished and
+cooled off, like an old iron casting, and can't be bent or made over in
+any other shape. You're crooked enough, the Lord knows; but you're kind
+o' limber yet in your moral j'nts, and you may git yourself in decent
+shape if you have a chance. I've taken a notion to give you a chance.
+The only question is, Can you stand me?"
+
+"It would be strange if I could not stand the only man in Hillaton who
+has shown a human and friendly interest in me. But the thing I can't
+stand is taking charity."
+
+"Who's asked you to take charity?"
+
+"What else would it be--my living here on you?"
+
+"I can open a boardin'-house if I want to, can't I? I have a right to
+lend my own money, I s'pose. You can open a ledger account with me to a
+penny. What's more, I'll give you a receipt every time," added the old
+man, with a twinkle in his eye; "you don't catch me gettin' into the
+papers as 'kind-hearted' Mr. Growther."
+
+"Mr. Growther, I can scarcely understand your kindness to me, for I have
+no claim on you whatever. As much as I would like to accept your offer,
+I scarcely feel it right to do so. I will bring discredit to you with
+certainty, and my chances of repaying you seem very doubtful now."
+
+"Now, look here, young man, I've got to take my choice 'twixt two evils.
+On one side is you. I don't want you botherin' round, seein' my mean
+ways. For the sake of decency I'll have to try to hold in a little
+before you, while before my cat and dog I can let out as I please; so
+I'd rather live alone. But the tother side is a plaguy sight worse. If I
+should let you go a-wanderin' off you don't know where, the same as if I
+should start my dog off with a kick, knowin' that every one else in town
+would add a kick or fire a stun, I couldn't sleep nights or enjoy my
+vittels. I'd feel so mean that I should jest set and cuss myself from
+mornin' till night. Look here, now; I couldn't stan' it," concluded Mr.
+Growther, overcome by the picture of his own wretchedness. "Let's have
+no more words. Come back every night till you can do better. Open an
+account with me. Charge what you please for board and lodgin', and pay
+all back with lawful interest, if it'll make you sleep better." And so
+it was finally arranged.
+
+Haldane started out into the sun-lighted streets of the city as a man
+might sally forth in an enemy's country, fearing the danger that lurked
+on every side, and feeling that his best hope was that he might be
+unnoted and unknown. He knew that the glance of recognition would also
+be a glance of aversion and scorn, and, to his nature, any manifestation
+of contempt was worse than a blow. He now clung to his literary ventures
+as the one rope by which he could draw himself out of the depths into
+which he had fallen, and felt sure that he must hear from some of his
+manuscripts within a day or two. He went to the post-office in a tremor
+of anxiety only to hear the usual response, "Nothing for E. H."
+
+With heavy steps and a sinking heart he then set out in his search for
+something to do, and after walking weary miles he found only a small bit
+of work, for which he received but small compensation. He returned
+despondently in the evening to his refuge at Mr. Growther's cottage, and
+his quaint good Samaritan showed his sympathy by maintaining a perpetual
+growl at himself and the "disjinted world" in general. But Haldane
+lowered at the fire and said little.
+
+Several successive days brought disappointment, discouragement, and even
+worse. The slanderous paragraph concerning his relations with Mr.
+Shrumpf was copied by the _Morning Courier,_ with even fuller and
+severer comment. Occasionally upon the street and in his efforts to
+procure employment, he was recognized, and aversion, scorn, or rough
+dismissal followed instantly.
+
+For a time he honestly tried to obtain the means of livelihood, but this
+became more and more difficult. People of whom he asked employment
+naturally inquired his name, and he was fairly learning to hate it from
+witnessing the malign changes in aspect and manner which its utterance
+invariably produced. The public had been generally warned against him,
+and to the natural distrust inspired by his first crime was added a
+virtuous indignation at the supposed low trickery in his dealing with
+the magnanimous Mr. Shrumpf, "the poor but kind-hearted German."
+Occasionally, that he might secure a day's work in full or in part, he
+was led to suppress his name and give an _alias_.
+
+He felt as if he had been caught in a swift black torrent that was
+sweeping him down in spite of all that he could do; he also felt that
+the black tide would eventually plunge him into an abyss into which he
+dared not look. He struggled hard to regain a footing, and clutched
+almost desperately at everything that might impede or stay his swift
+descent; but seemingly in vain.
+
+His mental distress was such that he was unable to write, even with the
+aid of stimulants; and he also felt that it was useless to attempt
+anything further until he heard from the manuscripts already in
+editorial hands. But the ominous silence in regard to them remained
+unbroken, As a result, he began to give way to moods of the deepest
+gloom and despondency, which alternated with wild and reckless impulses.
+
+He was growing intensely bitter toward himself and all mankind. Even the
+image of his kind friend, Mrs. Arnot, began to merge itself into merely
+that of the wife of the man who had dealt him a blow from which he began
+to fear he would never recover. He was too morbid to be just to any one,
+even himself, and he felt that she had deserted and turned against him
+also, forgetting that he had given her no clew to his present place of
+abode, and had sent a message indicating that he would regard any effort
+to discover him as officious and intrusive. He quite honestly believed
+that by this time she had come to share in the general contempt and
+hostility which is ever cherished toward those whom society regards as
+not only depraved and vile, but also dangerous to its peace. It seemed
+as if both she and Laura had receded from him to an immeasurable
+distance, and he could not think of either without almost gnashing his
+teeth in rage at himself, and at what he regarded as his perverse and
+cruel fate. At times he would vainly endeavor to banish their images
+from his mind, but more often would indulge in wild and impossible
+visions of coming back to them in a dazzling halo of literary glory, and
+of overwhelming them with humiliation that they were so slow to
+recognize the genius which smouldered for weeks under their very eyes.
+
+But his dreams were in truth "baseless fabrics" for at last there came a
+letter addressed to "E. H.," with the name of a popular literary paper
+printed upon it. He clutched it with a hand that shook in his eagerness,
+and walked half a mile before finding a nook sufficiently secluded in
+which to open the fateful missive. There were moments as he hastened
+through the streets when the crumpled letter was like a live coal in his
+hand; again it seemed throbbing with life, and he held it tighter, as
+though it might escape. With a chill at heart he also admitted that this
+bit of paper might be a poniard that would stab his hope and so destroy
+him.
+
+He eventually entered a half-completed dwelling, which some one had
+commenced to build but was not able to finish.
+
+It was a wretched, prosaic place, that apparently had lost its value
+even to the owner, and had become to the public at large only an
+unsightly blot upon the street. There was no danger of his being
+disturbed here, for the walls were not sufficiently advanced to have
+ears, and even a modern ghost would scorn to haunt a place whose stains
+were not those of age, and whose crumbling ruins resulted only from
+superficial and half-finished work. Indeed, the prematurely old and
+abortive house had its best counterpart in the young man himself, who
+stole into one of its small, unplastered rooms with many a wary glance,
+as though it were a treasure-vault which he was bent on plundering.
+
+Feeling at last secure from observation, he tremblingly opened the
+letter, which he hoped contained the first instalment of wealth and
+fame. It was, indeed, from the editor of the periodical, and,
+remembering the avalanche of poetry and prose from beneath which this
+unfortunate class must daily struggle into life and being, it was
+unusually kind and full; but to Haldane it was cruel as death--a
+Spartan short-sword, only long enough to pierce his heart. It was to the
+following effect:
+
+"E. H.--DEAR SIR: It would be easier to throw your communication into
+the waste-basket than thus to reply; and such, I may add, is the usual
+fate of productions like yours. But something in your letter
+accompanying the MSS. caught my attention, and induced me to give you a
+little good advice, which I fear you will not take, however. You are
+evidently a young and inexperienced man, and I gather from your letter
+that you are in trouble of some nature, and, also, that you are building
+hopes, if not actually depending, upon the crude labors of your pen. Let
+me tell you frankly at once that literature is not your forte. It you
+have sent literary work to other parties like that inclosed to me you
+will never hear from it again. In the first place, you do not write
+correctly; in the second, you have nothing to say. We cannot afford to
+print words merely--much less pay for them. What is worse, many of your
+sentences are so unnatural and turgid as to suggest that you sought in
+stimulants a remedy for paucity of ideas. Take friendly advice. Attempt
+something that you are capable of doing, and build your hopes on _that_.
+Any honest work--even sawing wood--well done, is better than childish
+efforts to perform what, to us, is impossible. Before you can do
+anything in the literary world it is evident that years of culture and
+careful reading would be necessary. But, as I have before said, your
+talents do not seem to be in this direction. Life is too precious to be
+wasted in vain endeavor; and that reminds me that I have spent several
+moments, and from the kindliest motives, in stating to you facts which
+you may regard as insults. But were the circumstances the same I would
+give my own son the same advice. Do not be discouraged; there is plenty
+of other work equally good and useful as that for which you seem
+unfitted. Faithfully yours, ---- ----"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVI
+
+A SORRY KNIGHT
+
+
+The writer has known men to receive mortal wounds in battle, of which,
+at the moment, they were scarcely conscious. The mind, in times of grand
+excitement, has often risen so far superior to the material body that
+only by trickling blood or faintness have persons become aware of their
+injuries. But "a wounded spirit, who can bear?" and when did hope,
+self-love, or pride, ever receive home-thrusts unconsciously?
+
+The well-meaning letter, written by the kindly editor, and full of
+wholesome advice, cut like a surgeon's knife in some desperate case when
+it is a question whether the patient can endure the heroic treatment
+necessary. Haldane's stilted and unnatural tales had been projected into
+being by such fiery and violent means that they might almost be termed
+volcanic in their origin; but the fused mass which was the result,
+resembled scoria or cinders rather than fine metal shaped into artistic
+forms. Although his manuscripts could have been sold in the world's
+market only by the pound, he had believed, or, at least, strongly hoped
+otherwise, like so many others, who, with beating hearts, have sent the
+children of their brains out to seek their fortunes with no better
+results.
+
+The unbroken and ominous silence of the returned manuscript is a severe
+disappointment even to those who from safe and happy homes have sought
+to gain the public ear, and whose impelling motive toward literature is
+scarcely more than an impulse of vanity. But to Haldane the letter,
+which in giving the editorial estimate of one of his stories revealed
+the fate of all the others, brought far more than a mere disappointment.
+It brought despair and the recklessness and demoralization which
+inevitably follow. The public regarded him as a depraved, commonplace
+vagabond, eminent only in his capacity for evil and meanness, and he now
+inclined strongly to the same view of himself. True self-respect he had
+never possessed, and his best substitute, pride, at last gave way. He
+felt that he was defeated for life, and the best that life could now
+offer was a brief career of sensual pleasure. Mrs. Arnot and Laura
+Romeyn were so far removed from him as the stars; it was torment to
+think of them, and he would blot out their memory and the memory of all
+that he had hoped for, with wine and excitement. It seemed to him that
+the world said to him with united voice, "Go to the devil," and then
+made it impossible for him to do otherwise.
+
+Since he was defeated--since all his proud assurances to his mother that
+he would, alone and unaided, regain his lost good name and position in
+society, had proved but empty boasts--he would no longer hide the fact
+from her, not in the hope of being received at home as a repentant
+prodigal (even the thought of such a course was unendurable), but with
+the purpose of obtaining from her the means of entering upon a life of
+vicious pleasure.
+
+The young man's father--impelled both by his strong attachment for his
+wife, and also by the prudent forethought with which men seek to protect
+and provide for those they love, long after they have passed away from
+earthly life--had left his property wholly in trust to his wife,
+associating with her one or two other chosen counsellors. As long as she
+lived and remained unmarried she controlled it, the husband trusting to
+her affection for her children to make suitable provision for them. He
+had seen with prophetic anxiety the mother's fond indulgence of their
+only son, and the practical man dreaded the consequences. He therefore
+communicated to her verbally, and also embodied in his will, his wish
+that his son should have no control over the principal of such portion
+of the estate as would eventually fall to him until he had established a
+character that secured the confidence of all good men, and satisfied the
+judgment of the cautious co-executors. The provisions of the will still
+further required that, should the young man prove erratic and vicious,
+his income should be limited in such ways as would, as far as possible,
+curb excess.
+
+Haldane knew all this, and in the days of his confidence in himself and
+his brilliant future had often smiled at these "absurd restrictions."
+The idea that there would ever be any reason for their enforcement was
+preposterous, and the thought of his fond, weak mother refusing anything
+that he demanded, was still further out of the range of possibility.
+
+The wretched youth now sank into a far lower depth than he had ever yet
+reached. He deliberately resolved to take advantage of that mother's
+weakness, and for the basest ends. While under the influence of hope and
+pride, he had resolved to receive no assistance even from her, so that
+he might wholly claim the credit of regaining all that he had lost; but
+now, in the recklessness of despair, he proposed not only to ask for all
+the money he could obtain, but, if necessary, extort it by any means in
+his power.
+
+He and the forlorn place of his bitter revery grew more and more into
+harmony. The small, half-finished apartment of the ruinous new house
+became more truly the counterpart of his life, it was bare; it was
+unsightly from the debris of its own discolored and crumbling walls. The
+possibility of sweet home scenes had passed from it, and it had become a
+place in which an orgy might be hidden, or some revolting crime
+committed. To precisely this use Haldane put his temporary refuge before
+leaving it; for excesses and evil deeds that the mind has deliberately
+resolved upon are virtually accomplished facts as far as the wrong-doer
+is concerned. Before leaving his dingy hiding-place Haldane had in the
+depths of his soul been guilty of drunkenness and all kinds of excess.
+He also purposed unutterable baseness toward the widowed mother whom, by
+every principle of true manhood, he was bound to cherish and shield; and
+he had in volition more certainly committed the act of self-destruction
+than does the poor wretch who, under some mad, half-insane impulse,
+makes permanent by suicide the evils a little fortitude and patient
+effort might have remedied. There is no self-murder so hopeless and
+wicked as that of deliberate sin against one's own body and soul.
+
+No man becomes a saint or villain in an hour or by a single step; but
+there are times when evil tendencies combine with adverse influences and
+circumstances to produce sudden and seemingly fatal havoc in character.
+As the world goes, Haldane was a well-meaning youth, although cursed
+with evil habits and tendencies, when he entered the isolated,
+half-finished house. He was bad and devilish when he came out upon the
+street again, and walked recklessly toward the city, caring not who saw
+or recognized him. In the depths of his heart he had become an enemy to
+society, and, so far from hoping to gain its respect and good-will, he
+defied and intended to outrage it to the end of life.
+
+A man in such a mood gravitates with almost certainty toward the
+liquor-saloon, and Haldane naturally commenced drinking at the various
+dens whose doors stood alluringly open. His slender purse did not give
+him the choice of high-priced wines, and to secure the mad excitement
+and oblivion he craved, only fiery compounds were ordered--such as might
+have been distilled in the infernal regions to accomplish infernal
+results; and they soon began to possess him like a legion of evil
+spirits.
+
+If Shakespeare characterized the "invisible spirit of wine" as a "devil"
+in the unsophisticated days of old, when wine was wine, and not a
+hell-broth concocted of poisonous drugs, what unspeakable fiends must
+lurk in the grimy bottles whose contents, analyzed and explained, would
+appall some, at least, of the stolid and stony-hearted venders!
+
+Haldane soon felt himself capable of any wickedness, any crime. He
+became a human volcano, that might at any moment pass into a violent and
+murderous action, regardless of consequences--indeed, as utterly
+incapable of foreseeing and realizing them as the mountain that belches
+destruction on vineyard and village.
+
+We regard ourselves as a civilized and Christian people, and yet we
+tolerate on every corner places where men are transformed into incarnate
+devils, and sent forth to run amuck in our streets, and outrage the
+helpless women and children in their own homes. The naked inhabitants of
+Dahomey could do no worse in this direction.
+
+But Haldane was not destined to end his orgy in the lurid glare of a
+tragedy, for, as the sun declined, the miserable day was brought to a
+wretched and fitting close. Unconsciously he had strayed to the saloon
+on whose low steps Messrs. Van Wink and Ketchem had left him on the
+memorable night from which he dated his downfall. Of course he did not
+recognize the place, but there was one within that associated him
+inseparably with it, and also with misfortunes of his own. As Haldane
+leaned unsteadily against the bar a seedy-looking man glared at him a
+moment, and then stepped to his side, saying:
+
+"I'll take a few dhrinks wid ye. Faix! after all the trouble ye've been
+to me ye oughter kape me in dhrink the year."
+
+Turning to the speaker, the young man recognized Pat M'Cabe, whom he
+also associated with his evil fortunes, and toward whom he now felt a
+strong vindictiveness, the sudden and unreasoning anger of intoxication.
+In reply, therefore, he threw the contents of his glass into Pat's face,
+saying with a curse:
+
+"That is the way I drink with such as you."
+
+Instantly there was a bar-room brawl of the ordinary brutal type, from
+whose details we gladly escape. Attracted by the uproar, a policeman was
+soon on hand, and both the combatants were arrested and marched off to
+the nearest police station. Bruised, bleeding, disheveled, and with rent
+garments, Haldane again passed through the streets as a criminal, with
+the rabble hooting after him. But now there was no intolerable sense of
+shame as at first. He had become a criminal at heart; he had
+deliberately and consciously degraded himself, and his whole aspect had
+come to be in keeping with his character.
+
+It may be objected that the transformation had been too rapid. It had
+not been rapid. His mother commenced preparing him for this in the
+nursery by her weak indulgence. She had sown the seeds of which his
+present actions were the legitimate outgrowth. The weeds of his evil
+nature had been unchecked when little, and now they were growing so rank
+as to overshadow all.
+
+Multitudes go to ruin who must trace their wrong bias back to cultivated
+and even Christian homes.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVII
+
+GOD SENT HIS ANGEL
+
+
+The mad excitement of anger and drunkenness was speedily followed by
+stupor, and the night during which Haldane was locked up in the
+station-house was a blank. The next morning he was decidedly ill as the
+result of his debauch; for the after-effects of the vile liquor he had
+drank was such as to make any creature save rational man shun it in the
+future with utter loathing.
+
+But the officers of the law had not the slightest consideration for his
+aching head and jarring nerves. He was hustled off to the police court
+with others, and he now seemed in harmony with the place and company.
+
+Pat M'Cabe was a veteran in these matters, and had his witnesses ready,
+who swore to the truth, and anything else calculated to assist Pat,
+their crony, out of his scrape. Unfortunately for Haldane, the truth was
+against him, and he remained sullen and silent, making no defence. The
+natural result, therefore, of the brief hearing, was his committal to
+the common jail for ten days, and the liberation of Pat, with a severe
+reprimand.
+
+Thus, after the lapse of a few brief weeks, Haldane found himself in the
+same cell whence he had gone out promising and expecting to accomplish
+so much. He could not help recalling his proud words to his mother and
+Mrs. Arnot as he looked around the bare walls, and he was sufficiently
+himself again to realize partially how complete and disgraceful had been
+his defeat. But such was his mood that it could find no better
+expression than a malediction upon himself and the world in general.
+Then, throwing himself upon his rude and narrow couch, he again resigned
+himself to his stupor, from which he had been aroused to receive his
+sentence.
+
+It was late in the afternoon when he awoke, and his cell was already
+growing dusky with the coming night. It was a place congenial to
+shadows, and they came early and lingered till the sun was high.
+
+But as Haldane slowly regained full consciousness, and recalled all that
+had transpired, he felt himself to be under a deeper shadow than the
+night could cast. The world condemned him, and he deserved condemnation;
+but he was also deserving of pity. Scarcely more than twenty, he had
+seemingly spoiled his life utterly. It was torment to remember the past,
+and the future was still darker; for his outraged physical nature so
+bitterly resented its wrongs by racking pains that it now seemed to him
+that even a brief career of sensual gratification was impossible, or so
+counterbalanced with suffering as to be revolting. Though scarcely more
+than across the threshold of life, existence had become an unmitigated
+evil. Had he been brought up in an atmosphere of flippant scepticism he
+would have flung it away as he would a handful of nettles; but his
+childish memory had been made familiar with that ancient Book whose
+truths, like anchors, enable many a soul on the verge of wreck to
+outride the storm. He was too well acquainted with its teachings to
+entertain for a moment the shallow theory that a man can escape the
+consequences of folly, villany, and unutterable baseness by merely
+ceasing to breathe.
+
+He could not eat the coarse food brought to him for supper, and his only
+craving was for something to quench his feverish thirst. His long
+lethargy was followed by corresponding sleeplessness and preternatural
+activity of brain. That night became to him like the day of judgment;
+for it seemed as if his memory would recall everything he had ever done
+or said, and place all before him in the most dreary and discouraging
+aspect.
+
+He saw his beautiful and aristocratic home, which he had forfeited so
+completely that the prison would be more endurable than the forced and
+painful toleration of his presence, which was the best he could hope for
+from his mother and sisters; and he felt that he would much rather stay
+where he was for life than again meet old neighbors and companions. But
+he now saw how, with that home and his father's honored name as his
+vantage ground, he might have made himself rich and honored.
+
+The misspent days and years of the past became like so many reproachful
+ghosts, and he realized that he had idled away the precious seed-time of
+his life, or, rather, had been busy sowing thorns and nettles, that had
+grown all too quickly and rankly. Thousands had been spent on his
+education; and yet he was oppressed with a sense of his ignorance and
+helplessness. Rude contact with the world had thoroughly banished
+self-conceit, and he saw that his mind was undisciplined and his
+knowledge so superficial and fragmentary as to be almost useless. The
+editor of the paper whose columns he had hoped to illumine told him that
+he could not even write correctly.
+
+While in bitterness of soul he cursed himself for his wasted life, he
+knew that he was not wholly to blame. Indeed, in accordance with a trait
+as old as fallen man, he sought to lay the blame on another. He saw that
+his own folly had ever found an ally in his mother's indulgence, and
+that, instead of holding him with a firm yet gentle hand to his tasks
+and duties, she had been the first to excuse him from them and to
+palliate his faults. Instead of recalling her fond and blind idolatry
+with tenderness, he felt like one who had been treacherously poisoned
+with a wine that was sweet while it rested on the palate, but whose
+after-taste is vile, and whose final effect is death.
+
+There is no memory that we cherish so sacredly and tenderly as that of
+our parents' kind and patient love. It often softens the heart of the
+hardened man and abandoned woman when all other influences are
+powerless. But when love degenerates into idolatry and indulgence, and
+those to whom the child is given as a sacred trust permit it to grow
+awry, and develop into moral deformity, men and women, as did Haldane,
+may breathe curses on the blindness and weakness that was the primal
+cause of their life-failure. Throughout that long and horrible night he
+felt only resentment toward his mother, and cherished no better purpose
+toward her than was embodied in his plan to wring from her, even by
+methods that savored of blackmail, the means of living a dissipated life
+in some city where he was unknown, and could lose himself in the
+multitude.
+
+But the ten days of enforced seclusion and solitude that must intervene
+seemed like an eternity. With a shudder he thought of the real eternity,
+beyond, when the power to excite or stupefy his lower nature would be
+gone forever. That shadow was so dark and cold that it seemed to chill
+his very soul, and by a resolute effort of will he compelled his mind to
+dwell only on the immediate future and the past.
+
+Day at last dawned slowly and dimly in his cell, and found him either
+pacing up and down like some wild creature in its cage, turning so often
+by reason of the limited space as to be almost dizzy, or else sitting on
+his couch with his haggard face buried in his hands.
+
+After fighting all night against the impulse to think about Mrs. Arnot
+and her niece, he at last gave up the struggle, and permitted his mind
+to revert to them. Such thoughts were only pain now, and yet for some
+reason it seemed as if his mind were drawn irresistibly toward them. He
+felt that his deep regret was as useless and unavailing as the November
+wind that sweeps back and forth the withered and fallen leaves. His
+whole frame would at times tremble with gusts of remorseful passion, and
+again he would sigh long and drearily.
+
+He now realized what a priceless opportunity he had lost. It was once
+his privilege to enter Mrs. Arnot's beautiful home assured of welcome.
+She had been deeply interested in him for his mother's sake, and might
+have become so for his own. He had been privileged to meet Laura Romeyn
+as her equal, at least in social estimation, and he might have made
+himself worthy of her esteem, and possibly of her affection. He saw that
+he had foolishly clamored, like a spoiled child, for that which he could
+only hope to possess by patient waiting and manly devotion; and now,
+with a regret that was like a serpent's tooth, he felt that such
+devotion might have been rewarded.
+
+But a few months ago, whose life had been more rich with promise than
+his, or to whom had been given a better vantage-ground? And yet he had
+already found the lowest earthly perdition possible, and had lost hope
+of anything better.
+
+In his impotent rage and despair he fairly gnashed his teeth and cursed
+himself, his fate, and those who had led to his evil fortunes. Then, by
+a natural revulsion of feeling, he sobbed like a child that has lost its
+way and can discover no returning path, and whose heart the darkness of
+the fast-approaching night fills with unutterable dread.
+
+He was a criminal--in his despair he never hoped to be anything
+else--but he was not a hardened criminal and was still capable of
+wishing to be different. In the memory of his bitter experience a pure
+and honorable life now appeared as beautiful as it was impossible. He
+had no expectation, however, of ever living such a life, for pride, the
+cornerstone of his character, had given way, and he was too greatly
+discouraged at the time to purpose reform even in the future. Without
+the spur and incentive of hope we become perfectly helpless in evil;
+therefore all doctrines and philosophies which tend to quench or limit
+hope, or which are bounded by the narrow horizon of time and earth, are,
+in certain emergencies, but dead weights, dragging down the soul.
+
+At last, from sheer exhaustion, he threw himself on his couch, and fell
+into a troubled sleep, filled with broken and distorted visions of the
+scenes that had occupied his waking hours. But he gradually became
+quieter, and it appeared in his dream as if he saw a faint dawning in
+the east which grew brighter until a distinct ray of light streamed from
+an infinite distance to himself. Along this shining pathway an angel
+seemed approaching him. The vision grew so distinct and real that he
+started up and saw Mrs. Arnot sitting in the doorway, quietly watching
+him. Confused and oblivious of the past, he stepped forward to speak to
+her with the natural instinct of a gentleman. Then the memory of all
+that had occurred rolled before him like a black torrent, and he shrank
+back to his couch and buried his face in his hands. But when Mrs. Arnot
+came and placed her hand on his shoulder, saying gently, but very
+gravely, "Egbert, since you would not come to me I have come to you," he
+felt that his vision was still true, and that God had sent his angel.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVIII
+
+FACING THE CONSEQUENCES
+
+
+A young man of Haldane's age is capable of despairing thoughts, and even
+of desperate moods, of quite extended continuance; but it usually
+requires a long lifetime of disaster and sin to bury hope so deep that
+the stone of its sepulchre is not rolled away as the morning dawns.
+Haldane had thought that his hope was dead; but Mrs. Arnot's presence,
+combined with her manner, soon made it clear, even to himself, that it
+was not; and yet it was but a weak and trembling hope, scarcely assured
+of its right to exist, that revived at her touch and voice. His heart
+both clung to and shrank from the pure, good woman who stood beside him.
+
+He trembled, and his breast heaved convulsively for a few moments, and
+she quietly waited until he should grow more calm, only stroking his
+bowed head once or twice with a slight and reassuring caress. At last he
+asked in a low, hoarse voice:
+
+"Do you know why I am here?"
+
+"Yes, Egbert."
+
+"And yet you have come in kindness--in mercy, rather."
+
+"I have come because I am deeply interested in you."
+
+"I am not worthy--I am not fit for you to touch."
+
+"I am glad you feel so."
+
+"Then why do you come?"
+
+"Because I wish to help you to become worthy."
+
+"That's impossible. It's too late."
+
+"Perhaps it is. That is a question for you alone to decide; but I wish
+you to think well before you do decide it."
+
+"Pardon me, Mrs. Arnot," he said emphatically, raising his head, and
+dashing away bitter tears; "the world has decided that question for me,
+and all have said in one harsh, united voice, 'You shall not rise.' It
+has ground me under its heel as vindictively as if I were a viper. You
+are so unlike the world that you don't know it. It has given me no
+chance whatever."
+
+"Egbert, what have you to do with the world?"
+
+"God knows I wanted to recover what I had lost," he continued in the
+same rapid tone. "God knows I left this cell weeks since with the honest
+purpose of working my way up to a position that would entitle me to your
+respect, and change my mother's shame into pride. But I found a mad-dog
+cry raised against me. And this professedly Christian town has fairly
+hunted me back to this prison."
+
+Mrs. Arnot sighed deeply, but after a moment said, "I do not excuse the
+Christian town, neither can I excuse you."
+
+"You too, then, blame me, and side against me."
+
+"No, Egbert, I side with you, and yet I blame you deeply; but I pity you
+more."
+
+He rose, and paced the cell with his old, restless steps. "It's no use,"
+he said; "the world says, 'Go to the devil,' and gives me no chance to
+do otherwise."
+
+"Do you regard the world--whatever you may mean by the phrase--as your
+friend?"
+
+"Friend!" he repeated, with bitter emphasis.
+
+"Why, then, do you take its advice? I did not come here to tell you to
+go to perdition."
+
+"But if the world sets its face against me like a flint, what is there
+for me to do but to remain in prison or hide in a desert, unless I do
+what I had purposed, defy it and strike back, though it be only as a
+worm that tries to sting the foot that crushes it."
+
+"Egbert, if you should die, the world would forget that you had ever
+existed, in a few days."
+
+"Certainly. It would give me merely a passing thought as of a nuisance
+that had been abated."
+
+"Well, then, would it not be wise to forget the world for a little
+while? You are shut away from it for the present, and it cannot molest
+you. In the meantime you can settle some very important personal
+questions. The world has power over your fate only as you give it power.
+You need not lie like a helpless worm in its path, waiting to be
+crushed. Get up like a man, and take care of yourself. The world may let
+you starve, but it cannot prevent you from becoming good and true and
+manly; if you do become so, however, rest assured the world will
+eventually find a place for you, and, perhaps, an honored place. But be
+that as it may, a good Christian man is sustained by something far more
+substantial than the world's breath."
+
+Out of respect for Mrs. Arnot, Haldane was silent. He supposed that her
+proposed remedy for his desperate troubles was that he should "become a
+Christian," and to this phrase he had learned to give only the most
+conventional meaning.
+
+"Becoming a Christian," in his estimation, was the making of certain
+professions, going through peculiar and abnormal experiences, and
+joining a church, the object of all this being to escape a "wrath to
+come" in the indefinite future. To begin with, he had not the slightest
+idea how to set in motion these spiritual evolutions, had he desired
+them; and to his intense and practical nature the whole subject was as
+unattractive as a library of musty and scholastic books. He wanted some
+remedy that applied to this world, and would help him now. He did not
+associate Mrs. Arnot's action with Christian principle, but believed it
+to be due to the peculiar and natural kindness of her heart. Christians
+in general had not troubled themselves about him, and, as far as he
+could judge, had turned as coldly from him as had others. His mother had
+always been regarded as an eminently religious woman, and yet he knew
+that she was morbidly sensitive to the world's opinion and society's
+verdict.
+
+From childhood he had associated religion with numerous Sunday
+restraints and the immaculate mourning-dress which seemed chiefly to
+occupy his mother's thoughts during the hour preceding service. He had
+no conception of a faith that could be to him what the Master's strong
+sustaining hand was to the disciple who suddenly found himself sinking
+in a stormy sea.
+
+It is not strange that the distressed in body or mind turn away from a
+religion of dreary formalities and vague, uncomprehended mental
+processes. Instant and practical help is what is craved; and just such
+help Christ ever gave when he came to manifest God's will and ways to
+men. By whose authority do some religious teachers now lead the
+suffering through such a round-about, intricate, or arid path of things
+to be done and doctrines to be accepted before bringing them to Christ?
+
+But when a mind has become mystified with preconceived ideas and
+prejudices, it is no easy task to reveal to it the truth, however
+simple. Mrs. Arnot had come into the light but slowly herself, and she
+had passed through too many deep and prolonged spiritual experiences to
+hope for any immediate and radical change in Haldane. Indeed, she was in
+great doubt whether he would ever receive the faithful words she
+proposed speaking to him; and she fully believed that anything he
+attempted in his own strength would again end in disheartening failure.
+
+"Egbert," she said gently, but very gravely, "have you fully settled it
+in your own mind that I am your friend and wish you well?"
+
+"How can I believe otherwise, since you are here, and speaking to me as
+you do?"
+
+"Well, I am going to test your faith in me and my kindness. I am going
+to speak plainly, and perhaps you may think even harshly. You are very
+sick, and if I am to be your physician I must give you some sharp,
+decisive treatment. Will you remember through it all that my only motive
+is to make you well?"
+
+"I will try to."
+
+"You have kept away from me a long time. Perhaps when released from this
+place you will again avoid me, and I may never have another opportunity
+like the present. Now, while you have a chance to think, I am going to
+ask you to face the consequences of your present course. Within an hour
+after passing out of this cell you will have it in your power to trample
+on your better nature and stupefy your mind. But now, if you will, you
+have a chance to use the powers God has given you, and settle finally on
+your plan of life."
+
+"I have already trampled on my manhood--what is worse, I have lost it. I
+haven't any courage or strength left."
+
+"That can scarcely be true of one but little more than twenty. You are
+to be here in quietness for the next ten days, I learn. It is my
+intention, so far as it is in my power to bring it about, that you
+deliberately face the consequences of your present course during this
+time. By the consequences I do not mean what the world will think of
+you, but, rather, the personal results of your action--what you must
+suffer while you are in the world, and what you must suffer when far
+beyond the world. Egbert, are you pleased with yourself? are you
+satisfied with yourself?"
+
+"I loathe myself."
+
+"You can get away from the world--you are away from it now, and soon you
+will be away from it finally--but you can never get away from yourself.
+Are you willing to face an eternal consciousness of defeat, failure, and
+personal baseness?"
+
+He shuddered, but was silent.
+
+"There is no place in God's pure heaven for the drunkard--the morally
+loathsome and deformed. Are you willing to be swept away among the chaff
+and the thorns, and to have, forever, the shameful and humiliating
+knowledge that you rightfully belong to the rubbish of the universe? Are
+you willing to have a sleepless memory tell you in every torturing way
+possible what a noble, happy man you might have been, but would not be?
+Your power to drown memory and conscience, and stupefy your mind, will
+last a little while only at best. How are you going to endure the time
+when you must remember everything and think of everything? These are
+more important questions than what the world thinks of you."
+
+"Have you no pity?" he groaned.
+
+"Yes, my heart overflows with pity. Is it not kindness to tell you
+whither your path is leading? If I had the power I would lay hold of
+you, and force you to come with me into the path of life and safety,"
+she answered, with a rush of tears to her eyes.
+
+Her sympathy touched him deeply, and disarmed her words of all power to
+awaken resentment.
+
+"Mrs. Arnot," he cried, passionately, "I did mean--I did try--to do
+better when I left this place; but, between my own accursed weakness and
+the hard-hearted world, I am here again, and almost without hope."
+
+"Egbert, though I did not discourage you at the time, I had little hope
+of your accomplishing anything when you left this cell some weeks since.
+You went out to regain your old position and the world's favor, as one
+might look for a jewel or sum of money he had lost. You can never gain
+even these advantages in the way you proposed, and if you enjoy them
+again the cause will exist, not in what you do only, but chiefly in what
+you _are_. When you started out to win the favor of society, from
+which you had been alienated partly by misfortune, but largely through
+your own wrong action, there was no radical change in your character, or
+even in your controlling motives. You regretted the evil because of its
+immediate and disagreeable consequences. I do not excuse the world's
+harshness toward the erring; but, after all, if you can disabuse your
+mind of prejudice you will admit that its action is very natural, and
+would, probably, have been your own before you passed under this cloud.
+Consider what the world knows of you. It, after all, is quite shrewd in
+judging whom it may trust and whom it is safe to keep at arm's-length.
+Knowing yourself and your own weaknesses as you do, could you honestly
+recommend yourself to the confidence of any one? With your character
+unchanged, what guarantee have you against the first temptation or gust
+of passion to which you are subjected? You had no lack of wounded pride
+and ambition when you started out, but you will surely admit that such
+feelings are of little value compared with Christian integrity and manly
+principle, which render anything dishonorable or base impossible.
+
+"I do not consider the world's favor worth very much, but the world's
+respect is, for it usually respects only what is respectable. As you
+form a character that you can honestly respect yourself, you will find
+society gradually learning to share in that esteem. Believe me, Egbert,
+if you ever regain the world's lost favor, which you value so highly,
+you will discover the first earnest of it in your own changed and
+purified character. The world will pay no heed to any amount of
+self-assertion, and will remain equally indifferent to appeals and
+upbraidings; but sooner or later it will find out just what you are in
+your essential life, and will estimate you accordingly. I have dwelt on
+this phase of your misfortune fully, because I see that it weighs so
+heavily on your heart. Can you accept my judgment in the matter?
+Remember, I have lived nearly three times as long as you have, and speak
+from ripe experience. I have always been a close observer of society,
+and am quite sure I am right. If you were my own son I would use the
+same words."
+
+"Mrs. Arnot," he replied slowly, with contracted brow, "you are giving
+me much to think about. I fear I have been as stupid as I have been bad.
+My whole life seems one wretched blunder."
+
+"Ah, if you will only _think_, I shall have strong hopes of you. But in
+measuring these questions do not use the inch rule of time and earth
+only. As I have said before, remember you will soon have done with
+earth forever, but never can you get away from God, nor be rid of
+yourself. You are on wretched terms with both, and will be, whatever
+happens, until your nature is brought into harmony with God's will. We
+are so made, so designed in our every fibre, that evil tortures us like
+a diseased nerve; and it always will till we get rid of it. Therefore,
+Egbert, remember--O that I could burn it into your consciousness--the
+best that you can gain from your proposed evil course is a brief respite
+in base and sensual stupefaction, or equally artificial and unmanly
+excitement, and then endless waking, bitter memories, and torturing
+regret. Face this truth now, before it is too late. Good-by for a time.
+I will come again when I can; or you can send for me when you please;"
+and she gave him her hand in cordial pressure.
+
+He did not say a word, but his face was very white, and it was evident
+that her faithful words had opened a prospect that had simply appalled
+him.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIX
+
+HOW EVIL ISOLATES
+
+
+If Haldane had been left alone on an ice-floe in the Arctic Ocean he
+could scarcely have felt worse than he did during the remainder of the
+day after Mrs. Arnot's departure. A dreary and increasing sense of
+isolation oppressed him. The words of his visitor, "What have you to do
+with the world?" and "If you were dead it would forget you in a few
+days," repeated themselves over and over again. His vindictive feeling
+against society died out in the consciousness of his weakness and
+insignificance. What is the use of one's smiting a mountain with his
+fist? Only the puny hand feels the blow. The world became, under Mrs.
+Arnot's words, too large and vague a generality even to be hated.
+
+In order to be a misanthrope one must also be an egotist, dwarfing the
+objects of his spite, and exaggerating the small atom that has arrayed
+itself against the universe. It is a species of insanity, wherein a mind
+has lost perception of the correct relationship between different
+existences. The poor hypochondriac who imagined himself a mountain was a
+living satire on many of his fellow-creatures, who differ only in being
+able to keep similar delusions to themselves.
+
+Mrs. Arnot's plain, honest, yet kindly words had thrown down the walls
+of prejudice, and Haldane's mind lay open to the truth. As has been
+said, his first impression was a strange and miserable sense of
+loneliness. He saw what a slender hold he had upon the rest of humanity.
+The majority knew nothing of him, while, with few exceptions, those who
+were aware of his existence despised and detested him, and would breathe
+more freely if assured of his death. He instinctively felt that the
+natural affections of his mother and sisters were borne down and almost
+overwhelmed by his course and character. If they had any visitors in the
+seclusion to which his disgrace had driven them, his name would be
+avoided with morbid sensitiveness, and yet all would be as painfully
+conscious of him as if he were a corpse in the room, which by some
+monstrous necessity could not be buried. While they might shed natural
+tears, he was not sure but that deep in their hearts would come a sense
+of relief should they hear that he was dead, and so could not deepen the
+stain he had already given to a name once so respectable. He knew that
+his indifference and overbearing manner toward his sisters had alienated
+them from him; while in respect to Mrs. Haldane, her aristocratic
+conventionality, the most decided trait of her character, would always
+be in sharp contest with her strong mother-love, and thus he would ever
+be only a source of disquiet and wretchedness whether present or absent.
+In view of the discordant elements and relations now existing, there was
+not a place on earth less attractive than his own home.
+
+It may at first seem a contradiction to say that the thought of Mrs.
+Arnot gave him a drearier sense of isolation than the memory of all
+else. In her goodness she seemed to belong to a totally different world
+from himself and people in general. He had nothing in common with her.
+She seemed to come to him almost literally as an angel of mercy, and
+from an infinite distance, and her visits must, of necessity, be like
+those of the angels, few and far between, and, in view of his character,
+must soon cease. He shrank from her purity and nobility even while drawn
+toward her by her sympathy. He instinctively felt that in all her deep
+commiseration of him she could not for a moment tolerate the debasing
+evil of his nature, and that this evil, retained, would speedily and
+inevitably separate them forever. Could he be rid of it? He did not
+know. He could not then see how. In his weakness and despondency it
+seemed inwrought with every fibre of his being, and an essential part of
+himself. As for Laura, she was like a bright star that had set, and was
+no longer above his dim horizon.
+
+As he felt himself thus losing his hold on the companionship and
+remembrance of others, he was thrown back upon himself, and this led him
+to feel with a sort of dreary foreboding that it would be a horrible
+thing thus to be chained forever to a self toward which the higher
+faculties of his soul must ever cherish only hatred and loathing. Even
+now he hated himself--nay, more, he was enraged with himself--in view of
+the folly of which he had been capable. What could be worse than the
+endless companionship of the base nature which had already dragged him
+down so low?
+
+As the hours passed, the weight upon his heart grew heavier, and the
+chill of dread more unendurable. He saw his character as another might
+see it. He saw a nature to which, from infancy, a wrong bias had been
+given, made selfish by indulgence, imperious and strong only in carrying
+out impulses and in gratifying base passions, but weak as water in
+resisting evil and thwarting its vile inclinations. The pride and hope
+that had sustained him in what he regarded as the great effort of his
+life were gone, and he felt neither strength nor courage to attempt
+anything further. He saw himself helpless and prostrate before his fate,
+and yet that fate was so terrible that he shrank from it with increasing
+dread.
+
+What could he do? Was it possible to do anything? Had he not lost his
+footing? If a man is caught in the rapids, up to a certain point his
+struggle against the tide is full of hope, but beyond that point no
+effort can avail. Had he not been swept so far down toward the final
+plunge that grim despair were better than frantic but vain effort?
+
+And yet he felt that he could not give himself up to the absolute
+mastery of evil without one more struggle. Was there any chance? Was he
+capable of making the needful effort?
+
+Thus hopes and fears, bitter memories and passionate regrets, swept to
+and fro through his soul like stormy gusts. A painful experience and
+Mrs. Arnot's words were teaching the giddy, thoughtless young fellow
+what life meant, and were forcing upon his attention the inevitable
+questions connected with it which must be solved sooner or later, and
+which usually grow more difficult as the consideration of them is
+delayed, and they become complicated. As his cell grew dusky with its
+early twilight, as he thought of another long night whose darkness would
+be light compared with the shadow brooding on his prospects, his courage
+and endurance gave way.
+
+With something of the feeling of a terror-stricken child he called the
+under-sheriff, and asked for writing materials. With a pencil he wrote
+hastily:
+
+"MRS. ARNOT--I entreat you to visit me once more to-day. Your words have
+left me in torture. I cannot face the consequences and yet see no way of
+escape. It would be very cruel to leave me to my despairing thoughts for
+another night, and you are not cruel."
+
+In despatching the missive he said, "I can promise that if this note is
+delivered to Mrs. Arnot at once, the bearer shall be well paid."
+
+Moments seemed hours while he waited for an answer. Suppose the letter
+was not delivered--suppose Mrs. Arnot was absent. A hundred miserable
+conjectures flitted through his mind; but his confidence in his friend
+was such that even his morbid fear did not suggest that she would not
+come.
+
+The lady was at the dinner-table when the note was handed to her, and
+after reading it she rose hastily and excused herself.
+
+"Where are you going?" asked her husband sharply.
+
+"A person in trouble has sent for me."
+
+"Well, unless the _person_ is in the midst of a surgical operation,
+he, she, or it, whichever this person may be, can wait till you finish
+your dinner."
+
+"I am going to visit Egbert Haldane," said Mrs. Arnot quietly. "Jane,
+please tell Michael to come round with the carriage immediately."
+
+"You visit the city prison at this hour! Now I protest. The young rake
+probably has the delirium tremens. Send our physician rather, if some
+one must go, though leaving him to the jailer and a strait-jacket would
+be better still."
+
+"Please excuse me," answered his wife, with her hand on the door-knob;
+"you forget my relations to Mrs. Haldane; her son has sent for me."
+
+"'Her relations to Mrs. Haldane!' As if she were not always at the beck
+and call of every beggar and criminal in town! I do wish I had a wife
+who was too much of a lady to have anything to do with this low scum."
+
+A few moments later Mr. Arnot broke out anew with muttered complaint and
+invective, as he heard the carriage driven rapidly away.
+
+As by the flickering light of a dip candle Mrs. Arnot saw Haldane's
+pale, haggard face, she did not regret that she had come at once, for a
+glance gave to her the evidence of a human soul in its extremity.
+
+In facing these deep questions of life, some regard themselves as brave
+or philosophical. Perhaps it were nearer the truth to say they are
+stolid, and are staring at that which they do not understand and cannot
+yet realize. Where in history do we read--who from a ripe experience can
+give--an instance of a happy life developing under the deepening shadow
+of evil? Suppose one has seen high types of character and happiness, and
+was capable of appreciating them, but finds that he has cherished a
+sottish, beastly nature so long that it has become his master, promising
+to hold him in thraldom ever afterward;--can there be a more wretched
+form of captivity? The ogre of a debased nature drags the soul away from
+light and happiness--from all who are good and pure--to the hideous
+solitude of self and memory.
+
+There are those who will be incredulous and even resentful in view of
+this picture, but it will not be the first time that facts have been
+quarrelled with. It is _true_ that many are writhing and groaning
+in this cruel bondage, mastered and held captive by some debasing
+appetite or passion, perhaps by many. Sometimes, with a bitter,
+despairing sorrow, of which superficial observers of life can have no
+idea, they speak of these horrid chains; sometimes they tug at them
+almost frantically. A few escape, but more are dragged down and
+away--away from honorable companionships and friendships; away from
+places of trust, from walks of usefulness and safety; away from parents,
+from wife and children, until the awful isolation is complete, and the
+guilty soul finds itself alone with the sin that mastered it, conscious
+that God only will ever see and remember. Human friends will
+forget--they must forget in order to obtain relief from an object that
+has become morally too unsightly to be looked upon; and in mercy they
+are so created that they can forget, though it may be long before it is
+possible.
+
+There are people who scout this awful mystery of evil. They have
+beautiful little theories of their own, which they have spun in the
+seclusion of their studies. They keep carefully within their shady,
+flower-bordered walks, and ignore the existence of the world's dusty
+highways, in which so many are fainting and being trampled upon. What
+they do not see does not exist. What they do not believe is not true.
+They cannot condemn too severely the lack of artistic taste and liberal
+culture which leads any one to regard sin as other than a theologian's
+phrase or a piquant element in human life, which otherwise would be
+rather dull and flavorless.
+
+Mrs. Arnot was not a theorist, nor was she the elegant lady, wholly
+given to the aesthetic culture that her husband desired; she was a
+large-hearted woman, and she understood human life and its emergencies
+sufficiently well to tremble with apprehension when she saw the face of
+Egbert Haldane, for she felt that a deathless soul in its crisis--its
+deepest spiritual need--was looking to her solely for help.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXX
+
+IDEAL KNIGHTHOOD
+
+
+Mrs. Arnot again came directly to the youth and put her hand on his
+shoulder with motherly freedom and kindliness. Beyond even the word of
+sympathy is the touch of sympathy, and it often conveys to the fainting
+heart a subtle power to hope and trust again which the materialist
+cannot explain. The Divine Physician often touched those whom he healed.
+He laid his hand fearlessly on the leper from whom all shrank with
+inexpressible dread. The moral leper who trembled under Mrs. Arnot's
+hand felt that he was not utterly lost and beyond the pale of hope, if
+one so good and pure could still touch him; and there came a hope, like
+a ray struggling through thick darkness, that the hand that caressed
+might rescue him.
+
+"Egbert," said the lady gravely, "tell me what I can do for you."
+
+"I cannot face the consequences," he replied in a low, shuddering tone.
+
+"And do you only dread the consequences?" Mrs. Arnot asked sadly. "Do
+you not think of the evil which is the cause of your trouble?"
+
+"I can scarcely separate the sin from the suffering. My mind is
+confused, and I am overwhelmed with fear and loneliness. All who are
+good and all that is good seemed to be slipping from me, and I should
+soon be left only to my miserable self. O, Mrs. Arnot, no doubt I seem
+to you like a weak, guilty coward. I seem so to myself. If it were
+danger or difficulty I had to face I would not fear; but this slow,
+inevitable, increasing pressure of a horrible fate, this seeing clearly
+that evil cuts me off from hope and all happiness, and yet to feel that
+I cannot escape from it--that I am too weak to break my chains--it is
+more than I can endure. I fear that I should have gone mad if you had
+not come. Do you think there is any chance for me? I feel as if I had
+lost my manhood."
+
+Mrs. Arnot took the chair which the sheriff had brought on her entrance,
+and said quietly, "Perhaps you have, Egbert; many a man has lost what
+you mean by that term."
+
+"You speak of it with a composure that I can scarcely understand," said
+Haldane, with a quick glance of inquiry. "It seems to me an irreparable
+loss."
+
+"It does not seem so great a loss to me," replied Mrs. Arnot gently. "As
+your physician you must let me speak plainly again. It seems to me that
+what you term your manhood was composed largely of pride, conceit,
+ignorance of yourself, and inexperience of the world. You were liable to
+lose it at any time, just as you did, partly through your own folly and
+partly through the wrong of others. You know, Egbert, that I have always
+been interested in young men, and what many of them regard as their
+manhood is not of much value to themselves or any one else."
+
+"Is it nothing to be so weak, disheartened, and debased that you lie
+prostrate in the mire of your own evil nature, as it were, and with no
+power to rise?" he asked bitterly.
+
+"That is sad indeed."
+
+"Well, that's just my condition--or I fear it is, though your coming has
+brought a gleam of hope. Mrs. Arnot," he continued passionately, "I
+don't know how to be different; I don't feel capable of making any
+persistent and successful effort. I feel that I have lost all moral
+force and courage. The odds are too great. I can't get up again."
+
+"Perhaps you cannot, Egbert," said Mrs. Arnot very gravely; "it would
+seem that some never do--"
+
+He buried his face in his hands and groaned.
+
+"You have, indeed, a difficult problem to solve, and, looking at it from
+your point of view, I do not wonder that it seems impossible."
+
+"Cannot you, then, give me any hope?"
+
+"No, Egbert; _I_ cannot. It is not in my power to make you a good
+man. You know that I would do so if I could."
+
+"Would to God I had never lived, then," he exclaimed, desperately.
+
+"Can you offer God no better prayer than that? Will you try to be calm,
+and listen patiently to me for a few moments? When I said _I_ could
+not give you hope--_I_ could not make you a good man--I expressed
+one of my strongest convictions. But I have not said, Egbert, that there
+is no hope, no chance, for you. On the contrary, there is abundant
+hope--yes, absolute certainty--of your achieving a noble character, if
+you will set about it in the right way. But as one of the first and
+indispensable conditions of success, I wish you to realize that the task
+is too great for you alone; too great with my help; too great if the
+world that seems so hostile should unite to help you; and yet neither I
+nor all the world could prevent your success if you went to the right
+and true source of help. Why have you forgotten God in your emergency?
+Why are you looking solely to yourself and to another weak
+fellow-creature like yourself?"
+
+"You are in no respect like me, Mrs. Arnot, and it seems profanation
+even to suggest the thought."
+
+"I have the same nature. I struggled vainly and almost hopelessly
+against my peculiar weaknesses and temptations and sorrows until I heard
+God saying, 'Come, my child, let us work together. It is my will you
+should do all you can yourself, and what you cannot do I will do for
+you.' Since that time I have often had to struggle hard, but never
+vainly. There have been seasons when my burdens grew so heavy that I was
+ready to faint; but after appealing to my heavenly Father, as a little
+child might cry for help, the crushing weight would pass away, and I
+became able to go on my way relieved and hopeful."
+
+"I cannot understand it," said the young man, looking at her in deep
+perplexity.
+
+"That does not prevent its being true. The most skilful physician cannot
+explain why certain beneficial effects follow the use of certain
+remedies; but when these effects become an established fact of
+experience it were sensible to employ the remedy as soon as possible.
+One might suffer a great deal, and, perhaps, perish, while asking
+questions and waiting for answers. To my mind the explanation is very
+simple. God is our Creator, and calls himself our Father. It would be
+natural on general principles that he should take a deep interest in us;
+but he assures us of the profoundest love, employing our tenderest
+earthly ties to explain how he feels toward us. What is more natural
+than for a father to help a child? What is more certain, also, than that
+a wise father would teach a child to do all within his ability to help
+himself, and so develop the powers with which he is endowed? Only
+infants are supposed to be perfectly helpless."
+
+"It would seem that what you say ought to be true, and yet I have always
+half-feared God--that is, when I thought about him at all. I have been
+taught that he was to be served; that he was a jealous God; that he was
+angry with the sinful, and that the prayers of the wicked were an
+abomination. I am sure the Bible says the latter is true, or something
+like it."
+
+"It is true. If you set your heart on some evil course, or are
+deliberating some dishonesty or meanness, be careful how you make long
+or short prayers to God while wilfully persisting in your sin. When a
+man is robbing and cheating, though in the most legal manner--when he is
+gratifying lust, hate, or appetite, and _intends_ to _continue_ doing
+so--the less praying he does the better. An avowed infidel is more
+acceptable. But the sweetest music that reaches heaven is the honest cry
+for help to forsake sin; and the more sinful the heart that thus cries
+out for deliverance the more welcome the appeal. Let me illustrate what
+I mean by your own case. If you should go out from this prison in the
+same spirit that you did once before, seeking to gain position and favor
+only for the purpose of gratifying your own pride--only that self might
+be advantaged, without any generous and disinterested regard for others,
+without any recognition of the sacred duties you owe to God, and content
+with a selfish, narrow, impure soul--if, with such a disposition, you
+should commence asking for God's help as a means to these petty,
+miserable ends, your prayers would, and with good reason, be an
+abomination to him. But if you had sunk to far lower depths than those
+in which you now find yourself, and should cry out for purity, for the
+sonship of a regenerated character, your voice would not only reach your
+divine Father's ear, but his heart, which would yearn toward you with a
+tender commiseration that I could not feel were you my only son."
+
+The sincerity and earnestness of Mrs. Arnot's words were attested by her
+fast-gathering tears.
+
+"This is all new to me. But if God is so kindly disposed toward us--so
+ready to help--why does he not reveal himself in this light more
+clearly? why are we so slow and long in finding him out? Until you came
+he seemed against me."
+
+"We will not discuss this matter in general. Take your own experience
+again. Perhaps it has been your fault, not God's, that you misunderstood
+him. He tries to show how he feels toward us in many ways, chiefly by
+his written Word, by what he leads his people to do for us, and by his
+great mind acting directly on ours. Has not the Bible been within your
+reach? Have none of God's servants tried to advise and help you? I think
+you must have seen some such effort on my part when you were an inmate
+of my home. I am here this evening as God's messenger to you. All the
+hope I have of you is inspired by his disposition and power to help you.
+You may continue to stand aloof from him, declining his aid, just as you
+avoided your mother, and myself all these weeks when we were longing to
+help you; but if you sink, yours will be the fate of one who refuses to
+grasp the strong hand that is and ever has been seeking yours."
+
+"Mrs. Arnot," said Haldane thoughtfully, "if all you say is true there
+is hope for me--there is hope for every one."
+
+Mrs. Arnot was silent for a moment, and then said, with seeming
+abruptness:
+
+"You have read of the ancient knights and their deeds, have you not?"
+
+"Yes," was the wondering reply, "but the subject seems very remote."
+
+"You are in a position to realize my very ideal of knightly endeavor."
+
+"I, Mrs. Arnot! What can you mean?"
+
+"Whether I am right or wrong I can soon explain what I mean. The ancient
+knight set his lance in rest against what seemed to him the wrongs and
+evils of the world. In theory he was to be without fear and without
+reproach--as pure as the white cross upon his mantle. But in fact the
+average knight was very human. His white cross was soon soiled by
+foreign travel, but too often not before his soul was stained with
+questionable deeds. It was a life of adventure and excitement, and
+abundantly gratifying to pride and ambition. While it could be idealized
+into a noble calling, it too often ended in a lawless, capricious career
+of self-indulgence. The cross on the mantle symbolized the heavy blows
+and sorrows inflicted on those who had the misfortune to differ in
+opinion, faith, or race with the knight, the steel of whose armor
+seemingly got into his heart, rather than any personal self-denial.
+Without any moral change on his own part, or being any way better than
+they, he could fight the infidel or those whose views differed from his
+with great zest.
+
+"But the man who will engage successfully in a crusade against the evil
+of his own heart must have the spirit of a true knight, for he attempts
+the most difficult and heroic task within the limits of human endeavor.
+It is comparatively easy to run a tilt against a fellow-mortal, or an
+external evil; but to set our lance in rest against a cherished sin, a
+habit that has become our second nature, and remorselessly ride it
+down--to grapple with a secret fault in the solitude of our own soul,
+with no applauding hands to spur us on, and fight and wrestle for weary
+months--years perhaps--this does require heroism of the highest order,
+and the man who can do it is my ideal knight.
+
+"You inveigh against the world, Egbert, as if it were a harsh and
+remorseless foe, bent on crushing you; but you have far more dangerous
+enemies lurking in your own heart. If you could thoroughly subdue these
+with God's aid, you would at the same time overcome the world, or find
+yourself so independent of it as scarcely to care whether or no it gave
+you its favor. When you left this prison before, you sought in the wrong
+way to win the position you had lost. You were very proud of your former
+standing; but you had very little occasion to be, for you had inherited
+it. The deeds of others, not your own, had won it for you. If you had
+realized it, it gave you a great vantage, but that was all. If you had
+been content to have remained a conceited, commonplace man, versed only
+in the fashionable jargon and follies of the hour, and basing your
+claims on the wealth which you had shown neither the ability nor
+industry to win, you would never have had my respect.
+
+"Well, to tell the truth, such shadows of men are respected by no one,
+not even themselves, even though they may commit no deed which society
+condemns, But if in this prison cell you set your face like a flint
+against the weaknesses and grave faults of your nature which have
+brought you here, and which would have made you anything but an
+admirable man had you retained your old position--if, with God as your
+fast ally, you wage unrelenting and successful war against all that is
+unworthy of a Christian manhood--I will not only respect, I will honor
+you. You will be one of my ideal knights."
+
+As Mrs. Arnot spoke, Haldane's eyes kindled, and his drooping manner was
+exchanged for an aspect that indicated reviving hope and courage.
+
+"I have lost faith in myself," he said slowly; "and as yet I have no
+faith in God; but after what you have said I do not fear him as I did. I
+have faith in you, however, Mrs. Arnot, and I would rather gain your
+respect than that of all the world. You know me now better than any one
+else. Do you truly believe that I could succeed in such a struggle?"
+
+"Without faith in God you cannot. Even the ancient knight, whose success
+depended so much on the skill and strength of his arm, and the temper of
+his weapons and armor, was supposed to spend hours in prayer before
+attempting any great thing. But with God's help daily sought and
+obtained, you cannot fail. You can achieve that which the world cannot
+take from you--which will be a priceless possession after the world has
+forgotten you and you it--a noble character."
+
+Haldane was silent several moments, then, drawing a long breath, he
+said, slowly and humbly:
+
+"How I am to do this I do not yet understand; but if you will guide me,
+I will attempt it."
+
+"This book will guide you, Egbert," said Mrs. Arnot, placing her Bible
+in his hands. "God himself will guide you if you ask sincerely.
+Good-night." And she gave him such a warm and friendly grasp of the hand
+as to prove that evil had not yet wholly isolated him from the pure and
+good.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXI
+
+THE LOW STARTING-POINT
+
+
+On the afternoon of the following day Mrs. Arnot again visited Haldane,
+bringing him several letters from his mother which had been sent in her
+care; and she urged that the son should write at once in a way that
+would reassure the mother's heart.
+
+In his better mood the young man's thoughts recurred to his mother with
+a remorseful tenderness, and he eagerly sought out the envelope bearing
+the latest date, and tore it open. As he read, the pallor and pain
+expressed in his face became so great that Mrs. Arnot was much troubled,
+fearing that the letter contained evil tidings.
+
+Without a word he handed it to her, and also two inclosed paragraphs cut
+from newspapers.
+
+"Do you think your mother would wish me to see it?" asked Mrs. Arnot,
+hesitatingly.
+
+"I wish you to see it, and it contains no injunctions of secrecy.
+Indeed, she has been taking some very open and decided steps which are
+here indicated."
+
+Mrs. Arnot read:
+
+
+"MY UNNATURAL SON--Though you will not write me a line, you still make
+it certain that I shall hear from you, as the inclosed clippings from
+Hillaton papers may prove to you. You have forfeited all claim on both
+your sisters and myself. Our lawyer has been here to-day, and has shown
+me, what is only too evident, that money would be a curse to you--that
+you would squander it and disgrace yourself still more, if such a thing
+were possible. As the property is wholly in my hands, I shall arrange it
+in such a way that you shall never have a chance to waste it. If you
+will comply with the following conditions I will supply all that is
+essential to one of your nature and tastes. I stipulate that you leave
+Hillaton, and go to some quiet place where our name is not known, and
+that you there live so quietly that I shall hear of no more disgraceful
+acts like those herein described. I have given up the hope of hearing
+anything good. If you will do this I will pay your board and grant you a
+reasonable allowance. If you will not do this, you end all communication
+between us, and we must be as strangers until you can show an entirely
+different spirit. Yours in bitter shame and sorrow,
+
+"EMILY HALDANE."
+
+
+The clippings were Mr. Shrumpf's version of his own swindle, and a
+tolerably correct account of the events which led to the present
+imprisonment.
+
+"Will you accept your mother's offer?" Mrs. Arnot asked, anxiously, for
+she was much troubled as to what might be the effect of the unfortunate
+letter at this juncture.
+
+"No!" he replied with sharp emphasis.
+
+"Egbert, remember you have given your mother the gravest provocation."
+
+"I also remember that she did her best to make me the fool I have been,
+and she might have a little more patience now. The truth is that
+mother's God was respectability, and she will never forgive me for
+destroying her idol."
+
+"Read the other letters; there may be that in them which will be more
+reassuring."
+
+"No, I thank you," he replied, bitterly; "I have had all that I can
+stand for one day. She believes the infernal lie which that scoundrel
+Shrumpf tells, and gives me no hearing;" and he related to Mrs. Arnot
+the true version of the affair.
+
+She had the tact to see that his present perturbed condition was not her
+opportunity, and she soon after left him in a mood that promised little
+of good for the future.
+
+But in the long, quiet hours that followed her departure his thoughts
+were busy. However much he might think that others were the cause of his
+unhappy plight, he had seen that he was far more to blame. It had been
+made still more clear that, even if he could shift this blame somewhat,
+he could not the consequences. Mrs. Arnot's words had given him a
+glimpse of light, and had revealed a path, which, though still vague and
+uncertain, promised to lead out of the present labyrinth of evil. During
+the morning hours he had dared to hope, and even to pray, that he might
+find a way of escape from his miserable self and the wretched condition
+to which it had brought him.
+
+For a long time he turned the leaves of Mrs. Arnot's Bible, and here and
+there a text would flash out like a light upon the clouded future, but
+as a general thing the words had little meaning.
+
+To his ardent and somewhat imaginative nature she had presented the
+struggle toward a better life in the most attractive light. He was not
+asked to do something which was vague and mystical; he was not exhorted
+to emotions and beliefs of which he was then incapable, nor to forms and
+ceremonies that were meaningless to him, nor to professions equally
+hollow. On the contrary, the evils, the defects of his own nature, were
+given an objective form, and he could almost see himself, like a knight,
+with lance in rest, preparing to run a tilt against the personal faults
+which had done him such injury. The deeper philosophy, that his heart
+was the rank soil from which sprang these faults, like Cadmus' armed
+men, would come with fuller experience.
+
+But in a measure he had understood and had been inspired by Mrs. Arnot's
+thought. Although from a weak mother's indulgence and his own, from
+wasted years and bad companionships, his life was wellnigh spoiled, he
+still had sufficient mind to see that to fight down the clamorous
+passions of his heart into subjection would be a grand and heroic thing.
+If from the yielding mire of his present self a noble and granite-like
+character could be built up, so strongly and on such a sure foundation
+that it would stand the shocks of time and eternity, it were worth every
+effort of which human nature is capable. Until Mrs. Arnot had spoken her
+wise and kind, yet honest words, he had felt himself unable to stand
+erect, much less to enter on a struggle which would tax the strongest.
+
+But suppose God would deign to help, suppose it was the divine purpose
+and practice to supplement the feeble efforts of those who, like
+himself, sought to ally their weakness to his strength, might not the
+Creator and the creature, the Father and the child, unitedly achieve
+what it were hopeless to attempt unaided?
+
+Thoughts like these more or less distinctly had been thronging his mind
+during the morning, and though the path out of his degradation was
+obscure and uncertain, it had seemed the only way of escape. He knew
+that Mrs. Arnot would not consciously mock him with delusive hopes, and
+as she spoke her words seemed to have the ring and echo of truth. When
+the courage to attempt better things was reviving, it was sad that he
+should receive the first disheartening blow from his mother. Not that
+she purposed any such cruel stroke; but when one commences wrong in life
+one is apt to go on making mischief to the end. Poor Mrs. Haldane's
+kindness and severity had always been ill-timed.
+
+For some hours, as will be seen, the contents of the mother's letter
+inspired only resentment and caused discouragement; but calmer thoughts
+explained the letter, and confirmed Mrs. Arnot's words, that he had
+given the "gravest provocation."
+
+At the same time the young man instinctively felt that if he attempted
+the knightly effort that Mrs. Arnot had so earnestly urged, his mother
+could not help him much, and might be a hindrance. Her views would be so
+conventional, and she would be so impatient of any methods that were not
+in accordance with her ideas of respectability, that she might imperil
+everything should he yield to her guidance. If, therefore, he could
+obtain the means of subsistence he resolved to remain in Hillaton, where
+he could occasionally see Mrs. Arnot. She had been able to inspire the
+hope of a better life, and she could best teach him how such a life was
+possible.
+
+The next day circumstances prevented Mrs. Arnot from visiting the
+prison, and Haldane employed part of the time in writing to his mother a
+letter of mingled reproaches and apologies, interspersed with vague
+hopes and promises of future amendment, ending, however, with the
+positive assurance that he would not leave Hillaton unless compelled to
+do so by hunger.
+
+To Mrs. Haldane this letter was only an aggravation of former
+misconduct, and a proof of the unnatural and impracticable character of
+her son. The fact that it was written from a prison was hideous, to
+begin with. That, after all the pains at which she had been to teach him
+what was right, he could suggest that she was in part to blame for his
+course seemed such black ingratitude that his apologies and
+acknowledgments of wrong went for nothing. She quite overlooked the
+hope, expressed here and there, that he might lead a very different life
+in the future. His large and self-confident assurances made before had
+come to naught, and she had not the tact to see that he would make this
+attempt in a different spirit.
+
+It was not by any means a knightly or even a manly letter that he wrote
+to his mother; it was as confused as his own chaotic moral nature; but
+if Mrs. Haldane had had a little more of Mrs. Arnot's intuition, and
+less of prejudice, she might have seen scattered through it very hopeful
+indications. But even were such indications much more plain, her anger,
+caused by his refusal to leave Hillaton, and the belief that he would
+continue to disgrace himself and her, would have blinded her to them.
+Under the influence of this anger she sat down and wrote at once:
+
+Since you cast off your mother for strangers--since you attempt again
+what you have proved yourself incapable of accomplishing--since you
+prefer to go out of jail to be a vagrant and a criminal in the streets,
+instead of accepting my offer to live a respectable and secluded life
+where your shame is unknown, I wash my hands of you, and shall take
+pains to let it be understood that I am no longer responsible for you or
+your actions. You must look to strangers solely until you can conform
+your course to the will of the one you have so greatly wronged.
+
+Haldane received this letter on the morning of the day which would again
+give him freedom. Mrs. Arnot had visited him from time to time, and had
+been pleased to find him, as a general thing, in a better and more
+promising mood. He had been eager to listen to all that she had to say,
+and he seemed honestly bent on reform. And yet, while hopeful, she was
+not at all sanguine as to his future. He occasionally gave way to fits
+of deep despondency, and again was over-confident, while the causes of
+these changes were not very apparent, and seemingly resulted more from
+temperament than anything else. She feared that the bad habits of long
+standing, combining with his capricious and impulsive nature, would
+speedily betray him into his old ways. She was sure this would be the
+case unless the strong and steady hand of God sustained him, and she had
+tried to make him realize the same truth. This he did in a measure, and
+was exceedingly distrustful; and yet he had not been able to do much
+more than hope God would help him--for to anything like trustful
+confidence he was still a stranger.
+
+The future was very dark and uncertain. What he was to do, how he was to
+live, he could not foresee. Even the prison seemed almost a refuge from
+the world, out into which he would be thrown that day, as one might be
+cast from a ship, to sink or swim, as the case might be.
+
+While eager to receive counsel and advice from Mrs. Arnot, he felt a
+peculiar reluctance to take any pecuniary assistance, and he fairly
+dreaded to have her offer it; still, it might be all that would stand
+between him and hunger.
+
+After receiving his mother's harsh reply to his letter, his despondency
+was too great even for anger. He was ashamed of his weakness and
+discouragement, and felt that they were unmanly, and yet was powerless
+to resist the leaden depression that weighed him down.
+
+Mrs. Arnot had promised to call just before his release, and when she
+entered his cell she at once saw that something was amiss. In reply to
+her questioning he gave her the letter just received.
+
+After reading it Mrs. Arnot did not speak for some time, and her face
+wore a sad, pained look.
+
+At last she said, "You both misunderstand each other; but, Egbert, you
+have no right to cherish resentment. Your mother sincerely believes your
+course is all wrong, and that it will end worse than before. I think she
+is mistaken. And yet perhaps she is right, and it will be easier for you
+to commence your better and reformed life in the seclusion which she
+suggests. I am sorry to say it to you, Egbert, but I have not been able
+to find any employment for you such as you would take, or I would be
+willing to have you accept. Perhaps Providence points to submission to
+your mother's will."
+
+"If so, then I lose what little faith I have in Providence," he replied
+impetuously. "It is here, in this city, that I have fallen and disgraced
+myself, and it is here I ought to redeem myself, if I ever do. Weeks
+ago, in pride and self-confidence, I made the effort, and failed
+miserably, as might have been expected. Instead of being a gifted and
+brilliant man, as I supposed, that had been suddenly brought under a
+cloud as much through misfortune as fault, I have discovered myself to
+be a weak, commonplace, illiterate fellow, strong only in bad passions
+and bad habits. Can I escape these passions and habits by going
+elsewhere? You have told me, in a way that excited my hope, of God's
+power and willingness to help such as I am. If he will not help me here,
+he will not anywhere; and if, with his aid, I cannot surmount the
+obstacles in my way here, what is God's promised help but a phrase which
+means nothing, and what are we but victims of circumstances?"
+
+"Are you not reaching conclusions rather fast, Egbert? You forget that I
+and myriads of others have had proof of God's power and willingness to
+help. If wide and varied experience can settle any fact, this one has
+been settled. But we should ever remember that we are not to dictate the
+terms on which he is to help us."
+
+"I do not mean to do this," said Haldane eagerly, "but I have a
+conviction that I ought to remain in Hillaton. To tell you the truth,
+Mrs. Arnot, I am afraid to go elsewhere," he added in a low tone, while
+tears suffused his eyes. "You are the only friend in the universe that I
+am sure cares for me, or that I can trust without misgivings. To me God
+is yet but little more than a name, and one that heretofore I have
+either forgotten or feared. You have led me to hope that it might be
+otherwise some day, but it is not so yet, and I dare not go away alone
+where no one cares for me, for I feel sure that I would give way to
+utter despondency, and recklessness would follow as a matter of course."
+
+"O Egbert," sighed Mrs. Arnot, "how weak you are, and how foolish, in
+trusting so greatly in a mere fellow-creature."
+
+"Yes, Mrs. Arnot, 'weak and foolish.' Those two words now seem to sum up
+my whole life and all there is of me."
+
+"And yet," she added earnestly, "if you will, you can still achieve a
+strong, and noble character. O that you had the courage and heroic faith
+in God to fight out this battle to the end! Should you do so, as I told
+you before, you would be ideal knight. Heaven would ring with your
+praise, however unfriendly the world might be. I cannot conceive of a
+grander victory than that of a debased nature over itself. If you should
+win such a victory, Egbert--if, in addition, you were able, by the
+blessing of God on your efforts, to build up a strong, true character--I
+would honor you above other men, even though you remained a wood-sawyer
+all your days," and her dark eyes became lustrous with deep feeling as
+she spoke.
+
+Haldane looked at her fixedly for a moment, and grew very pale. He then
+spoke slowly and in a low tone:
+
+"To fail after what you have said and after all your kindness would be
+terrible. To continue my old vile self, and also remember the prospect
+you now hold out--what could be worse? And yet what I shall do, what I
+shall be, God only knows. But in sending you to me I feel that he has
+given me one more chance."
+
+"Egbert," she replied eagerly, "God will give you chances as long as you
+breathe. Only the devil will tell you to despair. He, _never_. Remember
+this should you grow old in sin. To tell you the truth, however, as I
+see you going out into the world so humbled, so self-distrustful, I have
+far more hope for you than when you first left this place, fully assured
+that you were, in yourself, sufficient for all your peculiar
+difficulties. And now, once more, good-by, for a time. I will do
+everything I can for you. I have seen Mr. Growther to-day, and he
+appears very willing that you should return to his house for the
+present. Strange old man! I want to know him better, for I believe his
+evil is chiefly on the outside, and will fall off some day, to his great
+surprise."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXII
+
+A SACRED REFRIGERATOR
+
+
+The glare of the streets was intolerable to Haldane after his
+confinement, and he hastened through them, looking neither to the right
+hand nor to the left. A growl from Mr. Growther's dog greeted him as he
+entered, and the old man himself snarled:
+
+"Well, I s'pose you stood me as long as you could, and then went to
+prison for a while for a change."
+
+"You are mistaken, Mr. Growther; I went to prison because I deserved to
+go there, and it's very good of you to let me come back again."
+
+"No, it ain't good of me, nuther. I want a little peace and comfort, and
+how could I have 'em while you was bein' kicked and cuffed around the
+streets? Here, I'll get you some dinner. I s'pose they only gave you
+enough at jail to aggravate your in'ards."
+
+"No, nothing more, please. Isn't there something I can do? I've sat
+still long enough."
+
+Mr. Growther looked at him a moment, and then said:
+
+"Are you sayin' that because you mean it?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Would you mind helpin' me make a little garden? I know I ought to have
+done it long ago, but I'm one of those 'crastinating cusses, and
+rheumatic in the bargain."
+
+"I'll make your garden on the one condition that you stand by and boss
+the job."
+
+"O, I'm good at bossin', if nothing else. There ain't much use of
+plantin' anything, though, for every pesky bug and worm in town will
+start for my patch as soon as they hear on't."
+
+"I suppose they come on the same principle that I do."
+
+"They hain't so welcome--the cussed little varmints! Some on 'em are so
+blasted mean that I know I ought to be easier on 'em just out of feller
+feelin'. Them cut-worms now--if they'd only take a plant and satisfy
+their nateral appetites on it, it would go a good ways, and the rest o'
+the plants would have a chance to grow out of harm's way; but the nasty
+little things will jest eat 'em off above the ground, as if they was cut
+in two by a knife, and then go on to anuther. That's what I call a mean
+way of gettin' a livin'; but there's lots of people like 'em in town,
+who spile more than they eat. Then there's the squash-bug. If it's his
+nater to eat up the vines I s'pose he must do it, but why in thunder
+must he smell bad enough to knock you over into the bargain? It's allers
+been my private opinion that the devil made these pests, and the Lord
+had nothin' to do with 'em. The idea that he should create a rose, and
+then a rose-bug to spile it, ain't reconcilable to what little reason
+I've got."
+
+"Well," replied Haldane with a glimmer of a smile, "I cannot account for
+rose-bugs and a good many worse things. I notice, however, that in spite
+of all these enemies people manage to raise a great deal that's very
+nice every year. Suppose we try it."
+
+They were soon at work, and Haldane felt the better for a few hours'
+exercise in the open air.
+
+The next morning Mrs. Arnot brought some papers which she said a legal
+friend wished copied, and she left with them, inclosed in an envelope,
+payment in advance. After she had gone Haldane offered the money to Mr.
+Growther, but the old man only growled:
+
+"Chuck it in a drawer, and the one of us who wants it first can have
+it."
+
+For the next two or three weeks Mrs. Arnot, by the dint of considerable
+effort, kept up a supply of MSS., of which copies were required, and she
+supplemented the prices which the parties concerned were willing to pay.
+Her charitable and helpful habits were well known to her friends, and
+they often enabled her thus to aid those to whom she could not give
+money direct. But this uncertain employment would soon fail, and what
+her protege was then to do she could not foresee. No one would trust
+him, and no one cared to have him about his premises.
+
+But in the meantime the young man was thinking deeply for himself. He
+soon concluded not to make Mr. Growther's humble cottage a hiding-place;
+and he commenced walking abroad through the city after the work of the
+day. He assumed no bravado, but went quietly on his way like any other
+passer-by. The majority of those who knew who he was either ignored his
+existence, or else looked curiously after him, but some took pains to
+manifest their contempt. He could not have been more lonely and isolated
+if he were walking a desert.
+
+Among the promises he had made Mrs. Arnot was that he would attend
+church, and she naturally asked him to come to her own.
+
+"As you feel toward my husband, it will probably not be pleasant for you
+to come to our pew" she had said; "but I hope the time will come when
+bygones will be bygones. The sexton, however, will give you a seat, and
+our minister preaches excellent sermons"
+
+Not long after, true to his word, the young man went a little early, as
+he wished to be as unobtrusive as possible. At the same time there was
+nothing furtive or cringing in his nature. As he had openly done wrong,
+he was now resolved to try as openly to do right, and let people ascribe
+whatever motive they chose.
+
+But his heart misgave him as he approached the new elegant church on the
+most fashionable street. He felt that his clothes were not in keeping
+with either the place of worship or the worshippers.
+
+Mr. Arnot's confidential clerk was talking with the sexton as he
+hesitatingly mounted the granite steps, and he saw that dignified
+functionary, who seemed in some way made to order with the church over
+which he presided, eye him askance while he lent an ear to what was
+evidently a bit of his history. Walking quietly but firmly up to the
+official, Haldane asked:
+
+"Will you give me a seat, sir?"
+
+The man reddened, frowned, and then said:
+
+"Really, sir, our seats are generally taken Sunday mornings. I think you
+will feel more at home at our mission chapel in Guy street."
+
+"And among the guys, why don't you add?" retorted Haldane, his old
+spirit flashing up, and he turned on his heel and stalked back to Mr.
+Growther's cottage.
+
+"Short sermon to-day," said the old man starting out of a doze.
+
+Haldane told him of his reception.
+
+The wrinkles in the quaint visage of his host grew deep and complicated,
+as though he had tasted something very bitter, and he remarked
+sententiously:
+
+"If Satan could he'd pay that sexton a whoppin' sum to stand at the door
+and keep sinners out."
+
+"No need of the devil paying him anything; the well-dressed Christians
+see to that. As I promised Mrs. Arnot to come, I tried to keep my word,
+but this flunky's face and manner alone are enough to turn away such as
+I am. None but the eminently respectable need apply at that gate of
+heaven. If it were not for Mrs. Arnot I would believe the whole thing a
+farce."
+
+"Is Jesus Christ a farce?" asked the practical Mr. Growther, testily.
+"What is the use of jumping five hundred miles from the truth because
+you've happened to run afoul of some of those Pharisees that he cussed?"
+
+Haldane laughed and said, "You have a matter-of-fact way of putting
+things that there is no escaping. It will, probably, do me more good to
+stay home and read the Bible to you than to be at church."
+
+The confidential clerk, who had remained gossiping in the vestibule,
+thought the scene he had witnessed worth mentioning to his employer, who
+entered with Mrs. Arnot not very long after, and lingered for a word or
+two. The man of business smiled grimly, and passed on. He usually
+attended church once a day, partly from habit and partly because it was
+the respectable thing to do. He had been known to remark that he never
+lost anything by it, for some of his most successful moves suggested
+themselves to his mind during the monotony of the service.
+
+To annoy his wife, and also to gratify a disposition to sneer at the
+faults of Christians, Mr. Arnot, at the dinner, commenced to commend
+ironically the sexton's course.
+
+"A most judicious man!" he affirmed. "Saint Peter himself at the gate
+could not more accurately strain out the saints from the sinners--nay,
+he is even keener-eyed than Saint Peter, for he can tell first-class
+from second-class saints. Though our church is not full, I now
+understand why we have a mission chapel. You may trust 'Jeems' to keep
+out all but the very first-class--those who can exchange silk and
+broadcloth for the white robe. But what on earth could have brought
+about such a speedy transition from jail to church on the part of
+Haldane?"
+
+"I invited him," said Mrs. Arnot, in a pained tone; "but I did not think
+it would be to meet with insult"
+
+"Insult! Quite the reverse. I should think that such as he ought to feel
+it an honor to be permitted a place among the second-class saints."
+
+Mrs. Arnot's thoughts were very busy that afternoon. She was not by
+nature an innovator, and, indeed, was inclined to accept the established
+order of things without very close questioning. Her Christian life had
+been developed chiefly by circumstances purely personal, and she had
+unconsciously found walks of usefulness apart from the organized church
+work. But she was a devout worshipper and a careful listener to the
+truth. It had been her custom to ride to the morning service, and, as
+they resided some distance from the church, to remain at home in the
+evening, giving all in her employ a chance to go out.
+
+Concerning the financial affairs of the church she was kept well
+informed, for she was a liberal contributor, and also to all other good
+causes presented. From earliest years her eye had always been accustomed
+to the phases presented by a fashionable church, and everything moved
+forward so quietly and with such sacred decorum that the thought of
+anything wrong did not occur to her.
+
+But the truth that one who was endeavoring to lead a better life had
+been practically turned from the door of God's house seemed to her a
+monstrous thing. How much truth was there in her husband's sarcasm? How
+far did her church represent the accessible Jesus of Nazareth, to whom
+all were welcomed, or how far did it misrepresent him? Now that her
+attention was called to the fact, she remembered that the congregation
+was chiefly made up of the _elite_ of the city, and that she rarely
+had seen any one present who did not clearly present the fullest
+evidence of respectability. Were those whom the Master most emphatically
+came to seek and save excluded? She determined to find out speedily.
+
+Summoning her coachman, she told him that she wished to attend church
+that evening. She dressed herself very plainly, and entered the church
+closely veiled. Instead of going to her own pew, she asked the judicious
+and discriminating sexton for a seat. After a careless glance he pointed
+to one of the seats near the door, and turned his back upon her. A
+richly dressed lady and gentleman entered soon after, and he was all
+attention, marshalling them up the aisle into Mrs. Arnot's own pew,
+since it was known she did not occupy it in the evening. A few decent,
+plain-looking women, evidently sent thither by the wealthy families in
+whose employ they were, came in hesitatingly, and those who did not take
+seats near the entrance, as a matter of course, were motioned thither
+without ceremony. The audience room was but sparsely filled, large
+families being represented by one or two members or not at all. But Mrs.
+Arnot saw none of Haldane's class present--none who looked as if they
+were in danger, and needed a kind, strong, rescuing hand--none who
+looked hungry and athirst for truth because perishing for its lack. In
+that elegant and eminently respectable place, upholstered and decorated
+with faultless taste, there was not a hint of publicans and sinners. One
+might suppose he was in the midst of the millennium, and that the
+classes to whom Christ preached had all become so thoroughly converted
+that they did not even need to attend church. There was not a suggestion
+of the fact that but a few blocks away enough to fill the empty pews
+were living worse than heathen lives.
+
+The choir performed their part melodiously, and a master in music could
+have found no fault with the technical rendering of the musical score.
+They were paid to sing, and they gave to such of their employers as
+cared to be present every note as it was written, in its full value. As
+never before, it struck Mrs. Arnot as a performance. The service she had
+attended hitherto was partly the creation of her own earnest and
+devotional spirit. To-night she was learning to know the service as it
+really existed.
+
+The minister was evidently a conscientious man, for he had prepared his
+evening discourse for his thin audience as thoroughly as he had his
+morning sermon. Every word was carefully written down, and the thought
+of the text was exhaustively developed. But Mrs. Arnot was too far back
+to hear well. The poor man seemed weary and discouraged with the arid
+wastes of empty seats over which he must scatter the seeds of truth to
+no purpose. He looked dim and ghostly in the far-away pulpit, and in
+spite of herself his sermon began to have the aspect of a paid
+performance, the effect of which would scarcely be more appreciable than
+the sighing of the wind without. The keenest theologian could not detect
+the deviation of a hair from the received orthodox views, and the
+majority present were evidently satisfied that his views would be
+correct, for they did not give very close attention. The few plain
+domestics near her dozed and nodded through the hour, and so gained some
+physical preparation for the toils of the week, but their spiritual
+natures were as clearly dormant as their lumpish bodies.
+
+After the service Mrs. Arnot lingered, to see if any one would speak to
+her as a stranger and ask her to come again. Such was clearly not the
+habit of the congregation. She felt that her black veil, an evidence of
+sorrow, was a sort of signal of distress which ought to have lured some
+one to her side with a kind word or two, but beyond a few curious
+glances she was unnoticed. People spoke who were acquainted, who had
+been introduced to each other. As the worshippers (?) hastened out, glad
+to escape to regions where living questions and interests existed, the
+sexton, who had been dozing in a comfortable corner, bustled to the far
+end of the church, and commenced, with an assistant, turning out the
+lights on either side so rapidly that it seemed as if a wave of darkness
+was following those who had come thither ostensibly seeking light.
+
+Mrs. Arnot hastened to her carriage, where it stood under the obscuring
+shadow of a tree, and was driven home sad and indignant--most indignant
+at herself that she had been so absorbed in her own thoughts and life
+that she had not discovered that the church to build and sustain which
+she had given so liberally was scarcely better than a costly
+refrigerator.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIII
+
+A DOUBTFUL BATTLE IN PROSPECT
+
+
+The painful impression made by the evening service that has been
+described acted as a rude disenchantment, and the beautiful church, to
+which Mrs. Arnot had returned every Sabbath morning with increasing
+pleasure, became as repulsive as it had been sacred and attractive. To
+her sincere and earnest spirit anything in the nature of a sham was
+peculiarly offensive; and what, she often asked herself, could be more
+un-Christlike than this service which had been held in his name?
+
+The revelation so astonished and disheartened her that she was prone to
+believe that there was something exceptional in that miserable Sabbath
+evening's experience, and she determined to observe further and more
+closely before taking any action. She spoke frankly of her feelings and
+purposes to Haldane, and in so doing benefited the young man very much;
+for he was thus led to draw a sharp line between Christ and the
+Christlike and that phase of Christianity which is largely leavened with
+this world. No excuse was given him to jumble the true and the false
+together.
+
+"You will do me a favor if you will quietly enter the church next Sunday
+morning and evening, and unobtrusively take one of the seats near the
+door," she said to him. "I wish to bring this matter to an issue as soon
+as possible. If you could manage to enter a little in advance of me, I
+would also be glad. I know how Christ received sinners, and I would like
+to see how we who profess to be representing him, receive those who come
+to his house."
+
+Haldane did as she requested. In a quiet and perfectly unobtrusive
+manner he walked up the granite steps into the vestibule, and his
+coarse, gray suit, although scrupulously clean, was conspicuous in its
+contrast with the elegant attire of the other worshippers. He himself
+was conspicuous also; for many knew who he was, and whispered the
+information to others. A "jail-bird" was, indeed, a _rara avis_ in
+that congregation, and there was a slight, but perfectly decorous,
+sensation. However greatly these elegant people might lack the spirit of
+Him who was "the friend of publicans and sinners" they would not for the
+world do anything that was overtly rude or ill-bred. Only the official
+sexton frowned visibly as the youth took a seat near the door. Others
+looked askance or glided past like polished icicles. Haldane's teeth
+almost chattered with the cold. He felt himself oppressed, and almost
+pushed out of the house, by the moral atmosphere created by the
+repellent thoughts of some who apparently felt the place defiled by his
+presence. Mrs. Arnot, with her keen intuition, felt this atmosphere
+also, and detected on the part of one or two of the officers of the
+Church an unchristian spirit. Although the sermon was an excellent one
+that morning, she did not hear it.
+
+In the evening a lady draped in a black veil sat by Haldane. The service
+was but a dreary counterpart of the one of the previous Sabbath. The sky
+had been overcast and slightly threatening, and still fewer worshippers
+had ventured out.
+
+Beyond furtive and curious glances no one noticed them save the sexton,
+who looked and acted as if Haldane's continued coming was a nuisance,
+which, in some way, he must manage to abate.
+
+The young man waited for Mrs. Arnot at her carriage-door, and said as he
+handed her in:
+
+"I have kept my word; but please do not ask me to come to this church
+again, or I shall turn infidel."
+
+"I shall not come myself again," she replied, "unless there is a decided
+change."
+
+The next morning she wrote notes to two of the leading officers of the
+church, asking them to call that evening; and her request was so urgent
+that they both came at the appointed hour.
+
+Mrs. Arnot's quiet but clear and distinct statement of the evils of
+which she had become conscious greatly surprised and annoyed them. They,
+with their associates, had been given credit for organizing and
+"running" the most fashionable and prosperous church in town. An elegant
+structure had been built and paid for, and such a character given the
+congregation that if strangers visited or were about to take up their
+abode in the city they were made to feel that the door of this church
+led to social position and the most aristocratic circles. Of course,
+mistakes were made. People sometimes elbowed their way in who were
+evidently flaunting weeds among the patrician flowers, and occasionally
+plain, honest, but somewhat obtuse souls would come as to a Christian
+church. But people who were "not desirable"--the meaning of this phrase
+had become well understood in Hillaton--were generally frozen out by an
+atmosphere made so chilly, even in August, that they were glad to escape
+to other associations less benumbing. Indeed, it was now so generally
+recognized that only those of the best and most assured social position
+were "desirable," that few others ventured up the granite steps or
+sought admittance to this region of sacred respectability. And yet all
+this had been brought about so gradually, and so entirely within the
+laws of good breeding and ecclesiastical usage, and also under the most
+orthodox preaching, that no one could lay his finger on anything upon
+which to raise an issue.
+
+The result was just what these officers had been working for, and it was
+vexatious indeed that, after years of successful manipulation, a lady of
+Mrs. Arnot's position should threaten to make trouble.
+
+"My dear Mrs. Arnot," said one of these polished gentlemen, with a
+suavity that was designed to conciliate, but which was nevertheless
+tinged with philosophical dogmatism, "there are certain things that will
+not mix, and the attempt to mingle them is wasting time on the
+impossible. It is in accordance with the laws of nature that each class
+should draw together according to their affinities and social status.
+Our church is now entirely homogeneous, and everything moves forward
+without any friction."
+
+"It appears to me sadly machine-like," the lady remarked.
+
+"Indeed, madam," with a trace of offended dignity, "is not the Gospel
+ably preached?"
+
+"Yes, but it is not obeyed. We have been made homogeneous solely on
+worldly principles, and not on those taught in the Gospels."
+
+They could not agree, as might have been supposed, and Mrs. Arnot was
+thought to be unreasonable and full of impracticable theories.
+
+"Very well, gentlemen," said Mrs. Arnot, with some warmth, "if there can
+be no change in these respects, no other course is left for me but to
+withdraw;" and the religious politicians bowed themselves out, much
+relieved, feeling that this was the easiest solution of the question.
+
+Mrs. Arnot soon after wrote to the Rev. Dr. Barstow, pastor of the
+church, for a letter of dismission. The good man was much surprised by
+the contents of this missive. Indeed, it so completely broke a chain of
+deep theological speculation that he deserted his study for the street.
+Here he met an officer of the church, a man somewhat advanced in years,
+whom he had come to regard as rather reserved and taciturn in
+disposition. But in his perplexity he exhibited Mrs. Arnot's letter, and
+asked an explanation.
+
+"Well," said the gentleman, uneasily, "I understand that Mrs. Arnot is
+dissatisfied, and perhaps she has some reason to be."
+
+"Upon what grounds?" asked the clergyman hastily.
+
+"Suppose we call upon her," was the reply. "I would rather you should
+hear her reasons from herself; and, in fact, I would be glad to hear
+them also."
+
+Half an hour later they sat in Mrs. Arnot's parlor.
+
+"My dear madam," said Dr. Barstow, "are you willing to tell us frankly
+what has led to the request contained in this letter? I hope that I am
+in no way to blame."
+
+"Perhaps we have all been somewhat to blame," replied Mrs. Arnot in a
+tone so gentle and quiet as to prove that she was under the influence of
+no unkindly feeling or resentment; "at least I feel that I have been
+much to blame for not seeing what is now but too plain. But habit and
+custom deaden our perceptions. The aspect of our church was that of good
+society--nothing to jar upon or offend the most critical taste. Your
+sermons were deeply thoughtful and profound, and I both enjoyed and was
+benefited by them. I came and went wrapped up in my own spiritual life
+and absorbed in my own plans and work, when, unexpectedly, an incident
+occurred which revealed to me what I fear is the _animus_ and character
+of our church organization. I can best tell you what I mean by relating
+my experience and that of a young man whom I have every reason to
+believe wishes to lead a better life, yes, even a Christian life;"
+and she graphically portrayed all that had occurred, and the impressions
+made upon her by the atmosphere she had found prevalent, when she placed
+herself in the attitude of a humble stranger.
+
+"And now," she said in conclusion, "do we represent Christ, or are we so
+leavened by the world that it may be doubted whether he would
+acknowledge us?"
+
+The minister shaded his pained and troubled face with his hand.
+
+"We represent the world," said the church officer emphatically; "I have
+had a miserable consciousness of whither we were drifting for a long
+time, but everything has come about so gradually and so properly, as it
+were, that I could find no one thing upon which I could lay my finger
+and say, This is wrong and I protest against it. Of course, if I had
+heard the sexton make such a remark to any one seeking to enter the
+house of God as was made to the young man you mention I should have
+interfered. And yet the question is one of great difficulty. Can such
+diverse classes meet on common ground?"
+
+"My dear sir," said Mrs. Arnot earnestly, "I do not think we, as a
+church, are called upon to adjust these diverse classes, and to settle,
+on the Sabbath, nice social distinctions. The Head of the Church said,
+'Whosoever will, let him come.' We, pretending to act in his name and by
+his authority, say, 'Whosoever is sufficiently respectable and
+well-dressed, let him come.' I feel that I cannot any longer be a party
+to this perversion.
+
+"If we would preserve our right to be known as a Christian church we
+must say to all, to the poor, to the most sinful and debased, as well as
+to those who are now welcomed, 'Come'; and when they are within our
+walls they should be made to feel that the house does not belong to an
+aristocratic clique, but rather to him who was the friend of publicans
+and sinners. Christ adjusted himself to the diverse classes. Are we his
+superiors?"
+
+"But, my dear madam, are there to be no social distinctions?"
+
+"I am not speaking of social distinctions. Birth, culture, and wealth
+will always, and very properly, too, make great differences. In inviting
+people to our homes we may largely consult our own tastes and
+preferences, and neither good sense nor Christian duty requires that
+there should be intimacy between those unfitted for it by education and
+character. But a church is not our house, but God's house, and what
+right have we to stand in the door and turn away those whom he most
+cordially invites? Christ had his beloved disciple, and so we can have
+our beloved and congenial friends. But there were none too low or lowly
+for him to help by direct personal effort, by sympathetic contact, and
+I, for one, dare not ignore his example."
+
+"Do you not think we can better accomplish this work by our mission
+chapel?"
+
+"Where is your precedent? Christ washed the feet of fishermen in order
+to give us an example of humility, and to teach us that we should be
+willing to serve any one in his name. I heartily approve of mission
+chapels as outposts; but, as in earthly warfare, they should be posts of
+honor, posts for the brave, the sagacious, and the most worthy. If they
+are maintained in the character of second-class cars, they are to that
+extent unchristian. If those who are gathered there are to be kept there
+solely on account of their dress and humble circumstances, I would much
+prefer taking my chances of meeting my Master with them than in the
+church which practically excludes them.
+
+"Christ said, 'I was a stranger, and ye took me in.' I came to our
+church as a stranger twice. I was permitted to walk in and walk out, but
+no one spoke to me, no one invited me to come again. It seems to me that
+I would starve rather than enter a private house where I was so coldly
+treated. I have no desire for startling innovations. I simply wish to
+unite myself with a church that is trying to imitate the example of the
+Master, and where all, whatever may be their garb or social and moral
+character, are cordially invited and sincerely welcomed."
+
+Dr. Barstow now removed his hand from his face. It was pale, but its
+expression was resolute and noble.
+
+"Mrs. Arnot, permit me to say that you are both right and wrong," he
+said. "Your views of what a church should be are right; you are wrong in
+wishing to withdraw before having patiently and prayerfully sought to
+inculcate a true Christian spirit among those to whom you owe and have
+promised Christian fidelity. You know that I have not very long been the
+pastor of this church, but I have already felt that something was amiss.
+I have been oppressed and benumbed with a certain coldness and formality
+in our church life. At the same time I admit, with contrition, that I
+have given way to my besetting sin. I am naturally a student, and when
+once in my study I forget the outside world. I am prone to become wholly
+occupied with the thought of my text, and to forget those for whom I am
+preparing my discourse. I, too, often think more of the sermon than of
+the people, forgetting the end in the means, and thus I fear I was
+becoming but a voice, a religious philosophy, among them, instead of a
+living and a personal power. You have been awakened to the truth, Mrs.
+Arnot, and you have awakened me. I do not feel equal to the task which I
+clearly foresee before me; I may fail miserably, but I shall no longer
+darken counsel with many words. You have given me much food for thought;
+and while I cannot foretell the end, I think present duty will be made
+clear. In times of perplexity it is our part to do what seems right,
+asking God for guidance, and then leave the consequences to him. One
+thing seems plain to me, however, that it is your present duty to remain
+with us, and give your prayers and the whole weight of your influence on
+the side of reform."
+
+"Dr. Barstow," said Mrs. Arnot, her face flushing slightly, "you are
+right; you are right. I have been hasty, and, while condemning others,
+was acting wrong myself. You have shown the truer Christian spirit. I
+will remain while there is any hope of a change for the better."
+
+"Well, Mrs. Arnot," said Mr. Blakeman, the elderly church officer, "I
+have drawn you out partly to get your views and partly to get some
+clearer views myself. I, too, am with you, doctor, in this struggle; but
+I warn you both that we shall have a hot time before we thaw the ice out
+of our church."
+
+"First pure, and then peaceable," said the minister slowly and musingly;
+and then they separated, each feeling somewhat as soldiers who are about
+to engage in a severe and doubtful battle.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIV
+
+A FOOTHOLD
+
+
+The skies did not brighten for Haldane, and he remained perplexed and
+despondent. When one wishes to reform, everything does not become lovely
+in this unfriendly world. The first steps are usually the most
+difficult, and the earliest experience the most disheartening. God never
+designed that reform should be easy. As it is, people are too ready to
+live the life which renders reform necessary. The ranks of the victims
+of evil would be doubled did not a wholesome fear of the consequences
+restrain.
+
+Within a few short weeks the fortunes of the wealthy and self-confident
+youth had altered so greatly that now he questioned whether the world
+would give him bread, except on conditions that were painfully
+repugnant.
+
+There was his mother's offer, it is true; but had Mrs. Haldane
+considered the nature of this offer, even she could scarcely have made
+it. Suppose he tried to follow out his mother's plan, and went to a city
+where he was unknown, could she expect an active young fellow to go to
+an obscure boarding-house, and merely eat and sleep? By an inevitable
+law the springing forces of his nature must find employment either in
+good or evil. If he sought employment of any kind the question would at
+once arise, "Who are you?" and sooner or later would come his history.
+In his long, troubled reveries he thought of all this, and the prospect
+of vegetating in dull obscurity at his mother's expense was as pleasant
+as that of being buried alive.
+
+Moreover, he could not endure to leave Hillaton in utter defeat. He was
+prostrate, and felt the foot of adverse fate upon his neck, but he would
+not acknowledge himself conquered. If he could regain his feet he would
+renew the struggle; and he hoped in some way to do so. As yet, however,
+the future was a wall of darkness.
+
+Neither did he find any rest for his spiritual feet. For some reason he
+could not grasp the idea of a personal God who cared enough for him to
+give any practical help. In spite of all that Mrs. Arnot could say, his
+heart remained as cold and heavy as a stone within his breast.
+
+But to some extent he could appreciate the picture she had presented. He
+saw one who, through weakness and folly, had fallen into the depths of
+degradation, patiently and bravely fighting his way up to a true
+manhood; and he had been made to feel that it was such a noble thing to
+do that he longed to accomplish it. Whether he could or no he was not
+sure, for his old confidence was all gone. But he daily grew more bent
+on making an honest trial, and in this effort a certain native
+persistency and unwillingness to yield would be of much help to him.
+
+He was now willing, also, to receive any aid which self-respect
+permitted him to accept, and was grateful for the copying obtained for
+him by Mrs. Arnot. But she frankly told him that it would not last long.
+The question what he should do next pressed heavily upon him.
+
+As he was reading the paper to Mr. Growther one evening, his eye caught
+an advertisement which stated that more hands were needed at a certain
+factory in the suburbs. He felt sure that if he presented himself in the
+morning with the others he would be refused, and he formed the bold
+purpose of going at once to the manufacturer. Having found the stately
+residence, he said to the servant who answered his summons:
+
+"Will you say to Mr. Ivison that a person wishes to see him?"
+
+The maid eyed him critically, and concluded, from his garb, to leave him
+standing in the hall.
+
+Mr. Ivison left his guests in the parlor and came out, annoyed at the
+interruption.
+
+"Well, what do you wish, sir?" he said, in a tone that was far from
+being encouraging, at the same time gaining an unfavorable impression
+from Haldane's dress.
+
+"In the evening paper you advertised for more hands in your factory. I
+wish employment."
+
+"Are you drunk, or crazy, that you thus apply at my residence?" was the
+harsh reply.
+
+"Neither, sir; I--"
+
+"You are very presuming, then."
+
+"You would not employ me if I came in the morning."
+
+"What do you mean? Who are you?"
+
+"I am at least human. Can you give one or two moments to the
+consideration of my case?"
+
+"One might afford that much," said the gentleman with a half-apologetic
+laugh; for the pale face and peculiar bearing of the stranger were
+beginning to interest him.
+
+"I do not ask more of your time, and will come directly to the point. My
+name is Haldane, and, as far as I am concerned, you know nothing good
+concerning me."
+
+"You are correct," said Mr. Ivison coldly. "I shall not need your
+services."
+
+"Mr. Ivison," said Haldane in a tone that made the gentleman pause,
+"ought I to be a thief and a vagabond?"
+
+"Certainly not."
+
+"Then why do you, and all who, like you, have honest work to give, leave
+me no other alternative? I have acted wrongly and foolishly, but I wish
+to do better. I do not ask a place of trust, only work with others,
+under the eyes of others, where I could not rob you of a cent's worth if
+I wished. In the hurry and routine of your office you would not listen
+to me, so I come to-night and make this appeal. If you refuse it, and I
+go to the devil, you will have a hand in the result."
+
+The prompt business-man, whose mind had learned to work with the
+rapidity of his machinery, looked at the troubled, half-desperate face a
+moment, and then said emphatically:
+
+"By Jove, you are right! I'll give you work. Come to-morrow. Good-night,
+and good luck to your good intentions. But remember, no nonsense."
+
+Here at last was a chance; here at last was regular employment. It was
+one step forward. Would he be able to hold it? This seemed doubtful on
+the morrow after he had realized the nature of his surroundings. He was
+set to work in a large room full of men, boys, and slatternly-dressed
+girls. He was both scolded and laughed at for the inevitable awkwardness
+of a new beginner, and soon his name and history began to be whispered
+about. During the noon recess a rude fellow flung the epithet of
+"jail-bird" at him, and, of course, it stuck like a burr. Never in all
+his life had he made such an effort at self-control as that which kept
+his hands off this burly tormentor.
+
+He both puzzled and annoyed his companions. They knew that he did not
+belong to their class, and his bearing and manner made them unpleasantly
+conscious of his superiority; and yet all believed themselves so much
+more respectable than he, that they felt it was a wrong to them that he
+should be there at all. Thus he was predestined to dislike and
+ill-treatment. But that he could act as if he were deaf and blind to all
+that they could do or say was more than they could understand. With knit
+brows and firmly-closed lips he bent his whole mind to the mastery of
+the mechanical duties required of him, and when they were over he strode
+straight to his humble lodging-place.
+
+Mr. Growther watched him curiously as he reacted into lassitude and
+despondency after the strain and tension of the day.
+
+"It's harder to stand than 'tis to git along with me, isn't it?"
+
+"Yes, much harder."
+
+"O thunder! better give it up, then, and try something else."
+
+"No, it's my only chance."
+
+"There's plenty other things to do."
+
+"Not for me. These vulgar wretches I am working with think it an outrage
+that a 'jail-bird,' as they call me, contaminates the foul air that they
+breathe. I may be driven out by them; but," setting his teeth, "I won't
+give up this foothold of my own accord."
+
+"You might have been President if you had shown such grit before you got
+down."
+
+"That's not pleasant to think of now."
+
+"I might 'a known that; but it's my mean way of comfortin' people.
+A-a-h."
+
+Haldane's new venture out into the world could scarcely have had a more
+painful and prosaic beginning; but, as he said, he had gained a
+"foothold."
+
+There was one other encouraging fact, of which he did not know. Mr.
+Ivison sent for the foreman of the room in which Haldane had been set at
+work, and said:
+
+"Give the young fellow a fair chance, and report to me from time to time
+how he behaves; but say nothing of this to him. If he gets at his old
+tricks, discharge him at once; but if he shows the right spirit, I wish
+to know it."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXV
+
+"THAT SERMON WAS A BOMBSHELL"
+
+
+The following Sabbath morning smiled so brightly that one might be
+tempted to believe that there was no sin and misery in the world, and
+that such a church as Mrs. Arnot condemned was an eminently proper
+organization. As the congregation left their elegant homes, and in
+elegant toilets wended their way to their elegant church, they saw
+nothing in the blue sky and sunshine to remind them of the heavy shadows
+brooding over the earth. What more was needed than that they should give
+an hour to their aesthetic worship, as they had done in the past when
+the weather permitted, and then return to dinner and a nap and all the
+ordinary routine of life? There were no "beasts at Ephesus" to fight
+now. The times had changed, and to live in this age like an ancient
+Christian would be like going to Boston on foot when one might take a
+palace car. Hundreds of fully grown, perfectly sane people filed into
+the church, who complacently felt that in attending service once or
+twice a week, if so inclined, they were very good Christians. And yet,
+strange to say, there was a conspicuous cross on the spire, and they had
+named their church "St. Paul's."
+
+St. Paul! Had they read his life? If so, how came they to satirize
+themselves so severely? A dwarf is the more to be pitied if named after
+a giant.
+
+It was very queer that this church should name itself after the
+tent-maker, who became all things to all men, and who said, "I made
+myself servant unto all that I might gain the more."
+
+It was very unfortunate for them to have chosen this saint, and yet the
+name, Saint Paul, had a very aristocratic sound in Hillaton, and thus
+far had seemed peculiarly fitted to the costly edifice on which it was
+carved.
+
+And never had the church seemed more stately than on this brilliant
+Sabbath morning, never had its elegance and that of the worshippers
+seemed more in harmony.
+
+But the stony repose and calm of their Gothic temple was not reflected
+in the faces of the people. There was a general air of perturbation and
+expectancy. The peculiar and complacent expression of those who are
+conscious of being especially well dressed and respectable was
+conspicuously absent. Annoyed, vexed, anxious faces passed into the
+vestibule. Knots of twos, threes, and half-dozens lingered and talked
+eagerly, with emphatic gestures and much shaking of heads. Many who
+disliked rough weather from any cause avoided their fellow-members, and
+glided hastily in, looking worried and uncomfortable. Between the
+managing officers, who had felicitated themselves on having secured a
+congregation containing the _creme de la creme_ of the city, on one
+hand, and the disquieted Mr. Blakeman, who found the church growing
+uncomfortably cold, on the other, Mrs. Arnot's words and acts and the
+minister's implied pledge to bring the matter squarely to an issue, had
+become generally known, and a foreboding as of some great catastrophe
+oppressed the people. If the truth were known, there were very general
+misgivings; and, now that the people had been led to think, there were
+some uncomfortable aspects to the question. Even that august dignitary
+the sexton was in a painful dilemma as to whether it would be best to
+assume an air of offended dignity, or veer with these eddying and
+varying currents until sure from what quarter the wind would finally
+blow. He had learned that it was Mrs. Arnot whom he had twice carelessly
+motioned with his thumb into a back seat, and he could not help
+remarking to several of the more conservative members, that "it was very
+unjust and also unkind in Mrs. Arnot to palm herself off on him as an
+ordinary pusson, when for a long time it had been the plainly understood
+policy of the church not to encourage ordinary pussons."
+
+But the rumor that something unusual was about to take place at St.
+Paul's brought thither on this particular Sabbath all kinds and
+descriptions of people; and the dignified functionary whose duty it was
+to seat them grew so hot and flustered with his unwonted tasks, and made
+such strange blunders, that both he and others felt that they were on
+the verge of chaos. But the most extraordinary appearing personage was
+no other than Mr. Jeremiah Growther; and, as with his gnarled cane he
+hobbled along at Haldane's side, he looked for all the world as if some
+grotesque and antique carving had come to life and was out for an
+airing. Not only the sexton, but many others, looked askance at the
+tall, broad-shouldered youth of such evil fame, and his weird-appearing
+companion, as they walked quite far up the aisle before they could find
+a seat.
+
+Many rubbed their eyes to be sure it was not a dream. What had come
+over the decorous and elegant St. Paul's? When before had its dim,
+religious light revealed such scenes? Whence this irruption of strange,
+uncouth creatures--a jail-bird in a laborer's garb, and the profane old
+hermit, whom the boys had nicknamed "Jerry Growler," and who had not
+been seen in church for years.
+
+Mrs. Arnot, followed by many eyes, passed quietly up to her pew, and
+bowed her head in prayer.
+
+Prayer! Ah! in their perturbation some had forgotten that this was the
+place of prayer, and hastily bowed their heads also.
+
+Mr. Arnot had been engaged in his business to the very steps, and much
+too absorbed during the week to hear or heed any rumors; but as he
+walked up the aisle he stared around in evident surprise, and gave
+several furtive glances over his shoulder after being seated. As his
+wife raised her head, he leaned toward her and whispered:
+
+"What's the matter with Jeems? for, if I mistake not, there are a good
+many second-class saints here to-day." But not a muscle changed in Mrs.
+Arnot's pale face. Indeed, she scarcely heard him. Her soul was and had
+been for several days in the upper sanctuary, in the presence of God,
+pleading with him that he would return to this earthly temple which the
+spirit of the world had seemingly usurped.
+
+When Dr. Barstow arose to commence the service, a profound hush fell
+upon the people. Even his face and bearing impressed and awed them, and
+it was evident that he, too, had climbed some spiritual mountain, and
+had been face to face with God.
+
+As he proceeded with the service in tones that were deep and magnetic,
+the sense of unwonted solemnity increased. Hymns had been selected which
+the choir could not perform, but must sing; and the relation between the
+sacred words and the music was apparent. The Scripture lessons were read
+as if they were a message for that particular congregation and for that
+special occasion, and, as the simple and authoritative words fell on the
+ear the general misgiving was increased. They seemed wholly on Mrs.
+Arnot's side; or, rather, she was on theirs.
+
+When, at last, Dr. Barstow rose, not as a sacred orator and theologian
+who is about to _deliver_ a sermon, but rather as an earnest man,
+who had something of vital moment to say, the silence became almost
+oppressive.
+
+Instead of commencing by formally announcing his text, as was his
+custom, he looked silently and steadily at his people for a moment, thus
+heightening their expectancy.
+
+"My friends," he began slowly and quietly, and there was a suggestion of
+sorrow in his tone rather than of menace or denunciation; "my friends, I
+wish to ask your calm and unprejudiced attention to what I shall say
+this morning. I ask you to interpret my words in the light of the word
+of God and your own consciences; and if I am wrong in any respect I will
+readily acknowledge it. Upon a certain occasion Christ said to his
+disciples, 'Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of'; and he at once
+proved how widely his spirit differed from theirs. They accepted the
+lesson--they still followed him, and through close companionship
+eventually acquired his merciful, catholic spirit. But at this time they
+did not understand him nor themselves. Perhaps we can best understand
+the spirit we are of by considering his, and by learning to know him
+better whom we worship, by whose name we are called.
+
+"During the past week I have been brought face to face with the Christ
+of the Bible, rather than the Christ of theology and philosophy, who has
+hitherto dwelt in my study; and I have learned with sorrow and shame
+that my spirit differed widely from his. The Christ that came from
+heaven thought of the people, and had compassion on the multitude. I was
+engrossed with my sermons, my systems of truth, and nice interpretations
+of passages that I may have rendered more obscure. But I have made a vow
+in his name and strength that henceforth I will no longer come into this
+pulpit, or go into any other, to deliver sermons of my own. I shall no
+longer philosophize about Christ, but endeavor to lead you directly to
+Christ; and thus you will learn by comparison what manner of spirit you
+are of, and, I trust, become imbued with his Spirit. I shall speak the
+truth in love, and yet without fear, and with no wordy disguise.
+Henceforth I do not belong to you but to my Master, and I shall present
+the Christ who loved all, who died for all, and who said to all,
+'Whosoever will, let him come!'
+
+"You will find my text in the Gospel of St. John, the nineteenth chapter
+and fifth verse:
+
+"'Then came Jesus forth, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple
+robe. And Pilate saith unto them, Behold the Man!'
+
+"Let us behold him to-day, and learn to know him and to know ourselves
+better. If we discover any sad and fatal mistake in our religious life,
+let us correct it before it is too late."
+
+It would be impossible to portray the effect of the sermon that
+followed, coming, as it did, from a strong soul stirred to its depths by
+the truth under consideration. The people for the time being were swayed
+by it and carried away. What was said was seen to be truth, felt to be
+truth; and as the divine Man stood out before them luminous in his own
+loving and compassionate deeds, which manifested his character and the
+principles of the faith he founded, the old, exclusive, self-pleasing
+life of the church shrivelled up as a farce and a sham.
+
+"In conclusion," said Dr. Barstow, "what was the spirit of this Man when
+he summoned publicans and fishermen to be his followers? what was his
+spirit when he laid his hand on the leper? what, when he said to the
+outcast, 'Neither do I condemn thee; go and sin no more'? what, when to
+the haughty Pharisees, the most respectable people of that day, he
+threatened, 'Woe unto you!'
+
+"He looked after the rich and almost perfect young man, by whom he was
+nevertheless rejected, and loved him; he also said to the penitent
+thief, 'To-day thou shalt be with me in Paradise.' His heart was as
+large as humanity. Such was his spirit.'"
+
+After a moment's pause, in which there was a hush of breathless
+expectancy, Dr. Barstow's deep tones were again heard. "God grant that
+henceforth yonder doors may be open to all whom Christ received, and
+with the same welcome that he gave. If this cannot be, the name of St.
+Paul, the man who 'made himself the servant unto all that he might gain
+the more,' can no longer remain upon this church save in mockery. If
+this cannot be, whoever may come to this temple, Christ will not enter
+it, nor dwell within it.'"
+
+The people looked at each other, and drew a long breath. Even those who
+were most in love with the old system forgot Dr. Barstow, and felt for
+the moment that they had a controversy with his Master.
+
+The congregation broke up in a quiet and subdued manner. All were too
+deeply impressed by what they had heard to be in a mood for talking as
+yet; and of the majority, it should be said in justice that, conscious
+of wrong, they were honestly desirous of a change for the better.
+
+During the sermon Mr. Growther's quaint and wrinkled visage had worked
+most curiously, and there were times when he with difficulty refrained
+from a hearty though rather profane indorsement.
+
+On his way home he said to Haldane, "I've lived like a heathen on Lord's
+day and all days; but, by the holy poker, I'll hear that parson
+hereafter every Sunday, rain or shine, if I have to fight my way into
+the church with a club."
+
+A peculiar fire burned in the young man's eyes and his lips were very
+firm, but he made no reply. The Man whose portraiture he had beheld that
+day was a revelation, and he hoped that this divine yet human Friend
+might make a man of him.
+
+"Well," remarked Mr. Arnot, sententiously, "that sermon was a perfect
+bombshell; and, mark my words, it will either blow the doctor out of his
+pulpit, or some of the first-class saints out of their pews."
+
+But a serene and hopeful light shone from Mrs. Arnot's eyes, and she
+only said, in a low tone:
+
+"The Lord is in his holy temple."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVI
+
+MR. GROWTHER FEEDS AN ANCIENT GRUDGE
+
+
+The problem in regard to the future of St. Paul's Church, which had so
+greatly burdened Dr. Barstow, was substantially solved. Christ had
+obtained control of the preacher's heart, and henceforth would not be a
+dogma, but a living presence, in his sermons. The Pharisees of old could
+not keep the multitudes from him, though their motives for following him
+were often very mixed. Although the philosophical Christ of theology,
+whom Dr. Barstow had ably preached, could not change the atmosphere of
+St. Paul's, the Christ of the Bible, the Man of Sorrows, the meek and
+lowly Nazarene, could, and the masses would be tempted to feel that they
+had a better right in a place sacred to his worship than those who
+resembled him in spirit as little as they did in the pomp of their life.
+
+There would be friction at first, and some serious trouble. Mr. Arnot's
+judgment was correct, and some of the "first-class saints" (in their own
+estimation) would be "blown out of their pews." St. Paul's would
+eventually cease to be _the_ fashionable Church _par excellence_;
+and this fact alone would be good and sufficient reason for a change on
+the part of some who intend to be select in their associations on earth,
+whatever relations with the "mixed multitude" they may have to endure in
+heaven. But the warm-hearted and true-hearted would remain; and every
+church grows stronger as the Pharisees depart and the publicans and
+sinners enter.
+
+The congregation that gathered at the evening service of the memorable
+Sabbath described in the previous chapter was prophetic. Many of the
+wealthy and aristocratic members were absent, either from habit or
+disgust. Haldane, Mr. Growther, and many who in some respects resembled
+them, were present. "Jeems," the discriminating sexton, had sagaciously
+guessed that the wind was about to blow from another quarter, and was
+veering around also, as fast as he deemed it prudent. "Ordinary pussons"
+received more than ordinary attention, and were placed within earshot of
+the speaker.
+
+But the problem of poor Haldane's future was not clear by any means. It
+is true a desire to live a noble life had been kindled in his heart, but
+as yet it was little more than a good impulse, an aspiration. In the
+fact that his eyes had been turned questioningly and hopefully toward
+the only One who has ever been able to cope with the mystery of evil,
+there was rich promise; but just what this divine Friend could do for
+him he understood as little as did the fishermen of Galilee. They looked
+for temporal change and glory; he was looking for some vague and
+marvellous change and exaltation.
+
+But the Sabbath passed, and he remained his old self. Hoping, longing
+for the change did not produce it.
+
+It was one of Mr. Growther's peculiarities to have a fire upon the
+hearth even when the evenings were so warm as not to require it. "Might
+as well kinder git ourselves used to heat," he would growl when Haldane
+remonstrated.
+
+After the evening service they both lowered at the fire for some time in
+silence.
+
+"Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not
+enter into the kingdom of heaven," had been Dr. Barstow's text; and, as
+is usually the case, the necessity of conversion had been made clearer
+than just what conversion is; and many more than the disquieted
+occupants of the quaint old kitchen had been sent home sorely perplexed
+how to set about the simple task of "believing." But it was a happy
+thing for all that they had been awakened to the fact that something
+must be done. After that sermon none could delude themselves with the
+hope that being decorous, well-dressed worshippers at St. Paul's would
+be all that was required.
+
+But Mr. Growther needed no argument on this subject, and he had long
+believed that his only chance was, as he expressed it, "such an
+out-and-out shakin' to pieces, and makin' over agin that I wouldn't know
+myself." Then he would rub his rheumatic legs despondently and add, "But
+my speretual j'ints have got as stiff and dry as these old walkin' pins;
+and when I try to git up some good sort o' feelin' it's like pumpin' of
+a dry pump. I only feel real hearty when I'm a cussin'. A-a-h!"
+
+But the day's experience and teaching had awakened anew in his breast,
+as truly as in Haldane's, the wish that he could be converted, whatever
+that blessed and mysterious change might be; and so, with his wrinkled
+face seamed with deeper and more complex lines than usual, the poor old
+soul stared at the fire, which was at once the chief source of his
+comfort and the emblem of that which he most dreaded. At last he
+snarled:
+
+"I'm a blasted old fool for goin' to meetin' and gittin' all riled up
+so. Here, I haven't had a comfortable doze today, and I shall be kickin'
+around all night with nothin' runnin' in my head but 'Except ye be
+convarted, except ye be convarted'; I wish I had as good a chance of
+bein' convarted as I have of bein' struck by lightnin'."
+
+"I wish I needed conversion as little as you," said Haldane
+despondently.
+
+"Now look here," snapped the old man; "I'm in no mood for any nonsense
+to-night. I want you to know I never have been convarted, and I can
+prove it to you plaguy quick if you stroke me agin the fur. You've got
+the advantage of me in this business, though you have been a hard cuss;
+for you are young and kind o' limber yet." Then, as he glanced at the
+discouraged youth, his manner changed, and in a tone that was meant to
+be kindly he added, "There, there! Why don't you pluck up heart? If I
+was as young as you be, I'd get convarted if it took me all summer."
+
+Haldane shook his head, and after a moment slowly and musingly said, as
+much to himself as to the giver of this good advice:
+
+"I'm in the Slough of Despond, and I don't know how to get out. I can
+see the sunny uplands that I long to reach, but everything is quaking
+and giving way under my feet. After listening to Dr. Barstow's grand
+sermon this morning, my spirit flamed up hopefully. Now he has placed a
+duty directly in my path that I cannot perform by myself. Mrs. Arnot has
+made it clear to me that the manhood I need is Christian manhood. Dr.
+Barstow proves out of the Bible that the first step toward this is
+conversion--which seems to be a mysterious change which I but vaguely
+understand. I must do my part myself, he says, yet I am wholly dependent
+on the will and co-operation of another. Just what am I to do? Just when
+and how will the help come in? How can I know that it will come? or how
+can I ever be sure that I have been converted?"
+
+"O, stop splittin' hairs!" said Mr. Growther, testily. "Hanged if I can
+tell you how it's all goin' to be brought about--go ask the parson to
+clear up these p'ints for you--but I can tell you this much: when you
+git convarted you'll know it. If you had a ragin' toothache, and it
+suddenly stopped and you felt comfortable all over, wouldn't you know
+it? But that don't express it. You'd feel more'n comfortable; you'd feel
+so good you couldn't hold in. You'd be fur shoutin'; you wouldn't know
+yourself. Why, doesn't the Bible say you'd be a new critter? There'll be
+just such a change in your heart as there is in this old kitchen when we
+come in on a cold, dark night and light the candles, and kindle a fire.
+I tell you what 'tis, young man, if you once got convarted your troubles
+would be wellnigh over."
+
+Though the picture of this possible future was drawn in such homely
+lines, Haldane looked at it with wistful eyes. He had become accustomed
+to his benefactor's odd ways and words, and caught his sense beneath the
+grotesque imagery. As he was then situated, the future drawn by the old
+man and interpreted by himself was peculiarly attractive. He was very
+miserable, and it is most natural, especially for the young, to wish to
+be happy. He had been led to believe that conversion would lead to a
+happiness as great as it was mysterious--a sort of miraculous ecstasy,
+that would render him oblivious of the hard and prosaic conditions of
+his lot. Through misfortune and his own fault he possessed a very
+defective character. This character had been formed, it is true, by
+years of self-indulgence and wrong, and Mrs. Arnot had asserted that
+reform would require long, patient, and heroic effort. Indeed, she had
+suggested that in fighting and subduing the evils of one's own nature a
+man attained the noblest degree of knighthood. He had already learned
+how severe was the conflict in which he had been led to engage.
+
+But might not this mysterious conversion make things infinitely easier?
+If a great and radical change were suddenly wrought in his moral nature,
+would not evil appetites and propensities be uprooted like vile weeds?
+If a "new heart" were given him, would not the thoughts and desires
+flowing from it be like pure water from an unsullied spring? After the
+"old things"--that is the evil--had passed away, would not that which
+was noble and good spring up naturally, and almost spontaneously?
+
+This was Mr. Growther's view; and he had long since learned that the old
+man's opinions were sound on most questions. This seemed, moreover, the
+teaching of the Bible also, and of such sermons as he could recall. And
+yet it caused him some misgivings that Mrs. Arnot had not indicated more
+clearly this short-cut out of his difficulties.
+
+But Mr. Growther's theology carried the day. As he watched the young
+man's thoughtful face he thought the occasion ripe for the "word in
+season."
+
+"Now is the time," he said; "now while yer moral j'ints is limber.
+What's the use of climbin' the mountain on your hands and knees when you
+can go up in a chariot of fire, if you can only git in it?" and he
+talked and urged so earnestly that Haldane smiled and said:
+
+"Mr. Growther, you have mistaken your vocation. You ought to have been a
+missionary to the heathen."
+
+"That would be sendin' a thief to ketch a thief. But you know I've a
+grudge agin the devil, if I do belong to him; and if I could help git
+you out of his clutches it would do me a sight o' good."
+
+"If I ever do get out I shall indeed have to thank you."
+
+"I don't want no thanks, and don't desarve any. You're only giving me a
+chance to hit the adversary 'twixt the eyes," and the old man added his
+characteristic "A-a-h!" in an emphatic and vengeful manner, as if he
+would like to hit very hard.
+
+Human nature was on the side of Mr. Growther's view of conversion.
+Nothing is more common than the delusive hope that health, shattered by
+years of wilful wrong, can be regained by the use of some highly
+extolled drug, or by a few deep draughts from some far-famed spring.
+
+Haldane retired to rest fully bent upon securing this vague and mighty
+change as speedily as possible.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII
+
+HOPING FOR A MIRACLE
+
+
+Mr. Ivison, Haldane's employer, was a worshipper at St. Paul's, and,
+like many others, had been deeply impressed by the sermon. Its influence
+had not wholly exhaled by Monday, and, as this gentleman was eminently
+practical, he felt that he ought to do something, as well as experience
+a little emotion. Thus he was led to address the following note to
+Haldane:
+
+Last week I gave you a chance; this week I am induced to give you a good
+word. While I warn you that I will tolerate no weak dallying with your
+old temptations, I also tell you that I would like to see you make a man
+of yourself, or, more correctly, perhaps, as Dr. Barstow would express
+it, be made a man of. If one wants to do right, I believe there is help
+for him (go and ask the Rev. Dr. Barstow about this); and if you will go
+right straight ahead till I see you can be depended upon, I will
+continue to speak good words to you and for you, and perhaps do more.
+GEORGE IVISON.
+
+This note greatly encouraged Haldane, and made his precarious foothold
+among the world's industries seem more firm and certain. The danger of
+being swept back into the deep water where those struggle who have no
+foothold, no work, no place in society would not come from the caprice
+or forgetfulness of his employer, but from his own peculiar temptations
+and weaknesses. If he could patiently do his duty in his present humble
+position, he justly believed that it would be the stepping-stone to
+something better. But, having learned to know himself, he was afraid of
+himself; and he had seen with an infinite dread what cold, dark depths
+yawn about one whom society shakes off as a vile and venomous thing, and
+who must eventually take evil and its consequences as his only portion.
+The hot, reeking apartment wherein he toiled was the first solid ground
+that he had felt beneath his feet for many days. If he could hold that
+footing, the water might shoal so that he could reach the land. It is
+true he could always look to his mother for food and clothing if he
+would comply with her conditions. But, greatly perverted as his nature
+had been, food and clothing, the maintenance of a merely animal life,
+could no longer satisfy him. He had thought too deeply, and had seen too
+much truth, to feed contentedly among the swine.
+
+But the temptations which eventually lead to the swine--could he
+persistently resist these? Could he maintain a hard, monotonous routine
+of toil, with no excitements, no pleasures, with nothing that even
+approached happiness? He dared not give way; he doubted his strength to
+go forward alone with such a prospect. If conversion be a blessed
+miracle by which a debased nature is suddenly lifted up, and a harsh,
+lead-colored, prosaic world transfigured into the vestibule of heaven,
+he longed to witness it in his own experience.
+
+It was while he was in this mood that his thoughts recurred to Dr.
+Marks, the good old clergyman who had been the subject of his rude,
+practical joke months before. He recalled the sincere, frank letter
+which led to their evening interview, and remembered with a thrill of
+hope the strong and mysterious emotion that had seized upon him as the
+venerable man took his hand in his warm grasp, and said in tones of
+pathos that shook his soul, "I wish I could lead you by loving force
+into the paths of pleasantness and peace." Wild and reckless fool as he
+then was, it had been only by a decided effort and abrupt departure that
+he had escaped the heavenly influences which seemed to brood in the
+quiet study where the good man prayed and spun the meshes of the nets
+which he daily cast for souls. If he could visit that study again with a
+receptive heart, might not the emotion that he bad formerly resisted
+rise like a flood, and sweep away his old miserable self, and he become
+in truth a "new creature"?
+
+The thought, having been once entertained, speedily grew into a hope,
+and then became almost a certainty. He felt that he would much rather
+see Dr. Marks than Dr. Barstow, and that if he could feel that kind,
+warm grasp again, an impulse might be given him which even Mrs. Arnot's
+wise and gentle words could not inspire.
+
+Before the week was over he felt that something must be done either to
+soften his hard lot or to give him strength to endure it.
+
+The men, boys, and girls who worked at his side in the mill were in
+their natures like their garb, coarse and soiled. They resented the
+presence of Haldane for a twofold reason; they regarded the intrusion of
+a "jail-bird" among them in the light of an insult; they were still more
+annoyed, and perplexed also, that this disreputable character made them
+feel that he was their superior. Hence a system of petty persecution
+grew up. Epithets were flung at him, and practical jokes played upon him
+till his heart boiled with anger or his nerves were irritated to the
+last degree of endurance. More than once his fist was clenched to
+strike; but he remembered in time that the heavier the blow he struck,
+the more disastrously it would react against himself.
+
+After the exasperating experiences and noise of the day, Mr. Growther's
+cottage was not the quiet refuge he needed. Mr. Growther's growl was
+chronic, and it rasped on Haldane's overstrained nerves like the filing
+of a saw. Dr. Barstow's sermons of the previous Sabbath had emphatically
+"riled" the old gentleman, and their only result, apparently, was to
+make him more out-of-sorts and vindictive toward his poor, miserable
+little self than ever. He was so irascible that even the comfortable cat
+and dog became aware that something unusual was amiss, and, instead of
+dozing securely, they learned to keep a wary and deprecatory eye on
+their master and the toes of his thick-soled slippers.
+
+"I've been goin' on like a darned old porkerpine," he said to Haldane
+one evening," and if you don't git convarted soon you'd better git out
+of
+my way. If you was as meek as Moses and twice as good you couldn't stand
+me much longer;" and the poor fellow felt that there was considerable
+truth in the remark.
+
+The mill closed at an earlier hour on Saturday afternoon, and he
+determined to visit Dr. Marks if he could obtain permission from his
+employer to be absent a few hours on Monday morning. He wrote a note to
+Mr. Ivison, cordially thanking him for his encouraging words, but
+adding, frankly, that he could make no promises in regard to himself.
+"All that I can say, is," he wrote, "that I am trying to do right now,
+and that I am grateful to you for the chance you have given me. I wish
+to get the 'help' you suggest in your note to me, but, in memory of
+certain relations to my old pastor, Dr. Marks, I would rather see him
+than Dr. Barstow, and if you will permit me to be absent a part of next
+Monday forenoon I will esteem it a great favor, and will trespass on
+your kindness no further. I can go after mill-hours on Saturday, and
+will return by the first train on Monday."
+
+Mr. Ivison readily granted the request, and even became somewhat curious
+as to the result.
+
+When Mrs. Arnot had learned from Haldane the nature of his present
+employment, she had experienced both pleasure and misgivings. That he
+was willing to take and try to do such work rather than remain idle, or
+take what he felt would be charity, proved that there was more good
+metal in his composition than she had even hoped; but she naturally felt
+that the stinging annoyances of his position would soon become
+intolerable. She was not surprised, although she was somewhat perplexed,
+at the receipt of the following letter:
+
+MY DEAR MRS. ARNOT.--You have been such a true, kind friend to me, and
+have shown so much interest in my welfare, that I am led to give you a
+fuller insight into my present experiences and hopes. You know that I
+wish to be a Christian. You have made Christian manhood seem the most
+desirable thing that I can ever possess, but I make little or no
+progress toward it. Something must be done, and quickly too. Either
+there must be a great change in me, or else in my circumstances. As
+there is no immediate prospect of the latter, I have been led to hope
+that there can be such a change in me that I shall be lifted above and
+made superior to the exasperating annoyances of my condition. Yes, I am
+hoping even far more. If I could only experience the marvellous change
+which Dr. Barstow described so eloquently last Sunday evening, might I
+not do right easily and almost spontaneously? It is so desperately hard
+to do right now! If conversion will render my steep, thorny path
+infinitely easier, then surely I ought to seek this change by every
+means in my power. Indeed, there must be a change in me, or I shall lose
+even the foothold I have gained. I am subjected, all day long, to insult
+and annoyance. At times I am almost desperate and on the verge of
+recklessness. Every one of the coarse creatures that I am compelled to
+work with is a nettle that loses no chance to sting me; and there is one
+among them, a big, burly fellow, who is so offensive that I cannot keep
+my hands off him much longer if I remain my old self. You also know what
+a reception I must ever expect in the streets when I am recognized. The
+people act as if I were some sort of a reptile, which they must tolerate
+at large, but can, at least, shun with looks of aversion. And then, when
+I get to Mr. Growther's cottage I do not find much respite. It seems
+like ingratitude to write this, but the good old man's eccentric habit
+of berating himself and the world in general has grown wearisome, to say
+the least. I want to be lifted out of myself--far above these petty
+vexations and my own miserable weaknesses.
+
+Once, before I left home, I played a rude joke on our good old pastor.
+Instead of resenting it he wrote me such a kind letter that I went to
+his study to apologize. While there his manner and words were such that
+I had to break away to escape a sudden and mysterious influence that
+inclined me toward all that is good. I have hoped that if I should visit
+him I might come under that influence again, and so be made a new and
+better man.
+
+I have also another motive, which you will understand. Mother and I
+differ widely on many things, and always will; but I long to see her
+once more. I have been thinking of late of her many kindnesses--o that
+she had been less kind, less indulgent! But she cannot help the past any
+more than I can, and it may do us both good to meet once more. I do not
+think that she will refuse to see me or give me shelter for a few hours,
+even though her last letter seemed harsh.
+
+I shall also be glad to escape for a few hours from my squalid and
+wretched surroundings. The grime of the sordid things with which I have
+so long been in contact seems eating into my very soul, and I long to
+sleep once more in my clean, airy room at home.
+
+But I am inflicting myself too long upon you. That I have ventured to do
+so is due to your past kindness, which I can only wonder at, but cannot
+explain. Gratefully yours, E. HALDANE.
+
+Mrs. Arnot was more than curious; she was deeply interested in the
+result of this visit, and she hoped and prayed earnestly that it might
+result in good. But she had detected an element in the young man's
+letter which caused her considerable uneasiness. His idea of conversion
+was a sudden and radical change in character that would be a sort of
+spiritual magic, contravening all the natural laws of growth and
+development. He was hoping to escape from his evil habits and
+weaknesses, which were of long growth, as the leper escaped from his
+disease, by a healing and momentary touch. He would surely be
+disappointed: might he not also be discouraged, and give up the patient
+and prayerful struggle which the sinful must ever wage against sin in
+this world? She trusted, however, that God had commenced a good work in
+his heart, and would finish it.
+
+Even the sight of his native city, with its spires glistening in the
+setting sun, moved Haldane deeply, and when in the dusk he left the
+train, and walked once more through the familiar streets, his heart was
+crowded with pleasant and bitter memories, which naturally produced a
+softened and receptive mood.
+
+He saw many well-remembered faces, and a few glanced at him as if he
+suggested one whom they had known. But he kept his hat drawn over his
+eyes, and, taking advantage of the obscurity of the night, escaped
+recognition.
+
+"It is almost like coming back after one has died," he said to himself.
+"I once thought myself an important personage in this town, but it has
+got on better without me than it would have done with me. Truly, Mrs.
+Arnot is right--it's little the world cares for any one, and the
+absurdest of all blunders is to live for its favor."
+
+It was with a quickly beating heart that he rang the bell at the
+parsonage, and requested to be shown up to Dr. Marks' study. Was this
+the supreme moment of his life, and he on the eve of that mysterious,
+spiritual change, of which he had heard so much, and the results of
+which would carry him along as by a steady, mighty impulse through
+earth's trials to heaven's glory? He fairly trembled at the thought.
+
+The girl who had admitted him pointed to the open study door, and he
+silently crossed its threshold. The good old clergyman was bending over
+his sermon, to which he was giving his finishing touches, and the soft
+rays of the student's lamp made his white hair seem like a halo about
+his head.
+
+The sacred quiet of the place was disturbed only by the quill of the
+writer, who was penning words as unworldly as himself. Another good old
+divine, with his Bible in his hand, looked down benignantly and
+encouragingly at the young man from his black-walnut frame. He was the
+sainted predecessor of Dr. Marks, and the sanctity of his life of prayer
+and holy toil also lingered in this study. Old volumes and heavy tomes
+gave to it the peculiar odor which we associate with the cloister, and
+suggested the prolonged spiritual musings of the past, which are so out
+of vogue in the hurried, practical world of to-day. This study was,
+indeed, a quiet nook--a little, slowly moving eddy left far behind by
+the dashing, foaming current of modern life; and Haldane felt impressed
+that he had found the hallowed place, the true Bethel, where his soul
+might be born anew.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII
+
+THE MIRACLE TAKES PLACE
+
+
+"The body of my sermon is finished; may the Lord breathe into it the
+breath of life!" ejaculated Dr. Marks, leaning back in his chair.
+
+Haldane now secured his attention by knocking lightly on the open door.
+The old gentleman arose and came forward with the ordinary kindly manner
+with which he would greet a stranger.
+
+"You do not remember me," said Haldane.
+
+"I cannot say that I do. My eyesight is not as good as when I was at
+your age."
+
+"I am also the last one you expect to see, but I trust I shall not be
+unwelcome when you know my motive for coming. I am Egbert Haldane, and I
+have hoped that your study would remain open, though nearly all
+respectable doors are closed against me."
+
+"Egbert Haldane! Can I believe my eyes?" exclaimed the old clergyman,
+stepping eagerly forward.
+
+"When last in this place," continued the youth, "I was led by your
+generous forgiveness of my rude behavior toward you to say, that if I
+ever wished to become a Christian I would come to you sooner than to any
+one else. I have come, for I wish to be a Christian."
+
+"Now the Lord be praised! He has heard his servant's prayers," responded
+Dr. Marks fervently. "My study is open to you, my son, and my heart,
+too," he added, taking Haldane's hand in both of his with a grasp that
+emphasized his cordial words. "Sit down by me here, and tell me all that
+is on your mind."
+
+This reception was so much kinder than he had even hoped, that Haldane
+was deeply moved. The strong, genuine sympathy unsealed his lips, and in
+honest and impetuous words he told the whole story of his life since
+their last interview. The good doctor was soon fumbling for his
+handkerchief, and as the story culminated, mopped his eyes, and
+ejaculated, "Poor fellow!" with increasing frequency.
+
+"And now," concluded Haldane, "if I could only think that God would
+receive me as you have--if he would only change me from my miserable
+self to what I know I ought to be, and long to be--I feel that I could
+serve him with gratitude and gladness the rest of my life, even though I
+should remain in the humblest station; and I have come to ask you what I
+am to do?"
+
+"He will receive you, my boy; he will receive you. No fears on that
+score," said the doctor, with a heartiness that carried conviction. "But
+don't ask me what to do. I'm not going to interfere in the Lord's work.
+He is leading you. If you wanted a text or a doctrine explained I'd
+venture to give you my views; but in this vital matter I shall leave you
+in God's hands, 'being confident of this very thing, that he which hath
+begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.'
+I once set about reforming you myself, and you know what a bungle I made
+of it. Now I believe the Lord has taken you in hand, and I shall not
+presume to meddle. Bow with me in prayer that he may speedily bring you
+into his marvellous light and knowledge." And the good man knelt and
+spread his hands toward heaven, and prayed with the simplicity and
+undoubting faith of an ancient patriarch.
+
+Was his faith contagious? Did the pathos of his voice, his strongly
+manifested sympathy, combine with all that had gone before to melt the
+young man's heart? Or, in answer to the prayer, was there present One
+whose province it is to give life? Like the wind that mysteriously rises
+and comes toward one with its viewless, yet distinctly felt power.
+Haldane was conscious of influences at work in his heart that were as
+potent as they were incomprehensible. Fear and doubt were passing away.
+Deep emotion thrilled his soul. Nothing was distinct save a rush of
+feeling which seemed to lift him up as on a mighty tide, and bear him
+heavenward.
+
+This was what he had sought; this was what he had hoped; this strong,
+joyous feeling, welling up in his heart like a spring leaping into the
+sunlight, must be conversion.
+
+When he arose from his knees his eyes were full of tears, but a glad
+radiance shone through them, and grasping the doctor's hand, he said
+brokenly:
+
+"I believe your prayer has been answered. I never felt so strangely--so
+happy before."
+
+"Come with me," cried the old man, impetuously, "come with me. Your
+mother must learn at once that her son, who 'was dead, is alive again';"
+and a few moments later Haldane was once more in the low carriage, on
+his way, with the enthusiastic doctor, to his old home.
+
+"We won't permit ourselves to be announced," said the childlike old
+clergyman as they drove up the gravelled road. "We will descend upon
+your mother and sisters like an avalanche of happiness."
+
+The curtains in the sitting-room were not drawn, and the family group
+was before them. The apartment was furnished with elegance and taste,
+but the very genius of dreariness seemed to brood over its occupants.
+The sombre colors of their mourning dresses seemed a part of the deep
+shadow that was resting upon them, and the depth and gloom of the shadow
+was intensified by their air of despondency and the pallor of their
+faces. The younger daughter was reading, but the elder and the mother
+held their hands listlessly in their laps, and their eyes were fixed on
+vacancy, after the manner of those whose thoughts are busy with painful
+themes.
+
+Haldane could endure but a brief glance, and rushed in, exclaiming:
+
+"Mother, forgive me!"
+
+His presence was so unexpected and his onset so impetuous that the widow
+had no time to consider what kind of a reception she ought to give her
+wayward son, of whom she had washed her hands.
+
+Her mother-love triumphed; her heart had long been sore with grief, and
+she returned his embrace with equal heartiness.
+
+His sisters, however, had inherited more of their mother's
+conventionality than of her heart; and the fact that this young man was
+their brother did not by any means obliterate from their minds the other
+facts, that he had a very bad reputation and that he was abominably
+dressed. Their greeting, therefore, was rather grave and constrained,
+and suggested that there might have been a death in the family, and that
+their brother had come home to attend the funeral.
+
+But the unworldly Dr. Marks was wholly absorbed in the blessed truth
+that the dead was alive and the lost found. He had followed Haldane into
+the apartment, rubbing his hands, and beaming general congratulation.
+Believing that the serene light of Heaven's favor rested on the youth,
+he had forgotten that it would be long before society relaxed its dark
+frown. It seemed to him that it was an occasion for great and unmixed
+rejoicing.
+
+After some brief explanations had been given to the bewildered
+household, the doctor said:
+
+"My dear madam, I could not deny myself the pleasure of coming with your
+son, that I might rejoice with you. The Lord has answered our prayers,
+you see, and you have reason to be the happiest woman living."
+
+"I am glad, indeed," sighed the widow, "that some light is beginning to
+shine through this dark and mysterious providence, for it has been so
+utterly dark and full of mystery that my faith was beginning to waver."
+
+"The Lord will net suffer you to be tempted above that you are able,"
+said the clergyman, heartily. "When relief is essential it comes, and it
+always will come, rest assured. Take comfort, madam; nay, let your heart
+overflow with joy without fear. The Lord means well by this young man.
+Take the unspeakable blessing he sends you with the gladness and
+gratitude of a child receiving gifts from a good Father's hands. Since
+he has begun the good work, he'll finish it."
+
+"I hope so. I do, indeed, hope that Egbert will now come to his senses,
+and see things and duty in their true light, as other people do,"
+ejaculated the widow, fervently. "If he had only taken the excellent
+advice you first gave him here how much better it would have been for us
+all! But now--" A dreary sigh closed the sentence.
+
+"But now," responded the doctor, a little warmly, "the Lord has saved a
+soul from death, and that soul is your only son. It appears to me that
+this thought should swallow up every other; and it will, when you
+realize it," he concluded, heartily. "This world and the fashion of it
+passeth away. Since all promises well for the world to come, you have
+only cause for joy. As for my excellent advice, I was better pleased
+with it at the time than the Lord was. I now am thankful that he let it
+do no more harm than it did."
+
+"We cannot help the past, mother," said Haldane, eagerly, "let us turn
+our eyes to the future, which is all aglow with hope. I feel that God
+has forgiven me, and the thought fills my heart with a tumult of joy.
+Your warm embrace assures me that you have also forgiven the wrong, the
+shame, and sorrow you have received at my hands. Henceforth it shall be
+my life-effort that you receive the reverse of all this. I at last feel
+within me the power to live as a true man ought."
+
+"I trust your hopes may be realized, Egbert; I do, indeed; but you were
+so confident before--and then we all know what followed," concluded his
+mother, with a shudder.
+
+"My present feeling, my present motives, in no respect resemble my
+condition when I started out before. I was then a conceited fool,
+ignorant of myself, the world, and the task I had attempted. But now I
+feel that all is different. Mother," he exclaimed with a rush of
+emotion, "I feel as if heaven had almost begun in my heart! why, then,
+do you cloud this bright hour with doubts and fears?"
+
+"Well, my son, we will hope for the best," said his mother, endeavoring
+to throw off her despondency, and share in the spirit which animated her
+pastor. "But I have dwelt so long in sorrow and foreboding that it will
+require time before I can recover my old natural tone. These sudden and
+strong alternations of feeling and action on your part puzzle and
+disquiet me, and I cannot see why one brought up as you have been should
+not maintain a quiet, well-bred deportment, and do right as a matter of
+course, as your sisters do. And yet, if Dr. Marks truly thinks that you
+mean to do right from this time forward, I shall certainly take courage;
+though how we are going to meet what has already occurred I hardly see."
+
+"I do, indeed, believe that your son intends to do right, and I also
+believe that the Lord intends to help him--which is of far greater
+consequence," said Dr. Marks. "I will now bid you good-night, as
+to-morrow is the Sabbath; and let me entreat you, my dear madam, in
+parting, to further by your prayer and sympathy the good work which the
+Lord has begun."
+
+Haldane insisted on seeing the old gentleman safely back to his study.
+Their ride was a rather quiet one, each being busy with his own
+thoughts. The good man had found his enthusiasm strangely quenched in
+the atmosphere in which Mrs. Haldane dwelt, and found that, in spite of
+himself, he was sharing in her doubts and fears as to the future course
+of the erratic and impulsive youth at his side. He blamed himself for
+this, and tried to put doubt resolutely away. By a few earnest words he
+sought to show the young man that only as the grace of God was daily
+asked for and daily received could he hope to maintain the Christian
+life.
+
+He now began to realize what a difficult problem was before the youth.
+Society would be slow to give him credit for changed motives and
+character, and as proof would take only patient continuance in
+well-doing. The good doctor now more than suspected that in his own home
+Haldane would find much that was depressing and enervating. Worse than
+all, he would have to contend with an excitable and ungoverned nature,
+already sadly warped and biased wrongly. "What will be the final
+result?" sighed the old gentleman to himself. But he soon fell back
+hopefully on his belief that the Lord had begun a good work and would
+finish it.
+
+Haldane listened attentively and gratefully to all that his old friend
+had to say, and felt sure that he could and would follow the advice
+given. Never before had right living seemed so attractive, and the path
+of duty so luminous. But the thought that chiefly filled him with joy
+was that henceforth he would not be compelled to plod forward as a weary
+pilgrim. He felt that he had wings; some of the divine strength had been
+given him. He believed himself changed, renewed, transformed; he was
+confident that his old self had perished and passed away, and that, as a
+new creature, ennobling tendencies would control him completely. He felt
+that prayer would henceforth be as natural as breathing, and praise and
+worship, the strong and abiding instincts of his heart.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX
+
+VOTARIES OF THE WORLD
+
+
+When Haldane returned he found that his sisters had retired. He was not
+sorry, for he wished a long and unrestrained talk with his mother; but
+that lady pleaded that the events of the evening had so unnerved her,
+and that there was so much to be considered, that she must have quiet.
+In the morning they would try to realize their situation, and decide
+upon the best course to be pursued.
+
+Even in his exaltation the last suggestion struck Haldane unpleasantly.
+Might not his mother mark out, and take as a test of his sincerity, some
+course that would accord with her ideas of right, but not with his? But
+the present hour was so full of mystical and inexplicable happiness that
+he gave himself up to it, believing that the divine hands, in which he
+believed himself to be, would provide for him as a helpless child is
+cared for.
+
+The mill-people among whom he had worked the previous week would
+scarcely have recognized him as he came down to breakfast the following
+morning, dressed with taste and elegance. It was evident that his
+sisters could endure him with better grace than when clad in his coarse,
+working garb, redolent with the hitherto unimagined odors pertaining to
+well-oiled machinery. They, with his mother, greeted him, however, with
+the air of those who are in the midst of the greatest misfortunes, but
+who hope they see a coming ray of light.
+
+With their sincere but conventional ideas of life he was, in truth, a
+difficult problem. Nor can they be very greatly blamed. This youth, who
+might have been their natural protector against every scandalous and
+contemptuous word, and whose arm it would have been their pride to take
+before the world, had now such a reputation that only an affection
+all-absorbing and unselfish would be willing to brave the curious and
+scornful stare that follows one who had been so disgraced. Mrs. Haldane
+and her daughters were not without natural affection, but they were
+morbidly sensitive to public opinion. Like many who live somewhat
+secluded from the world, they imagined that vague and dreaded entity was
+giving them much more attention than it did. "What will people say?" was
+a terrible question to them.
+
+Nothing could be further from their nature than an attempt to attract
+the world's attention by loud manners or flaunting dress; but it was
+essential to their peace that good society should regard them as
+eminently respectable, aristocratic, and high-toned--as a family far
+removed from vulgar and ordinary humanity. That their name, in the
+person of a son and brother, had been dragged through courts, criminal
+records, and jails, was an unparalleled disaster, that grew more
+overwhelming as they brooded over it. It seemed to them that the world's
+great eye was turned full upon them in scorn and wonder, and that only
+by maintaining their perfect seclusion, or by hiding among strangers,
+could they escape its cruel glare.
+
+After all, their feelings were only morbid developments of the instincts
+of a refined womanly nature; but the trouble was, they had not the
+womanly largeness of heart and affection which would have made them
+equal to the emergency, however painful. Poor Mrs. Haldane was one of
+those unfortunate people who always fall below the occasion; indeed, she
+seldom realized it. Providence had now given her a chance to atone for
+much of her former weakness and ruinous indulgence, but her little mind
+was chiefly engrossed with the question, What can we do to smooth
+matters over, and regain something like our old standing in society? As
+the result of a long consultation with her daughters, it was concluded
+that their best course was to go abroad. There they could venture out
+with him who was the skeleton of the household, without having every one
+turn and look after them with all kinds of comment upon their lips.
+After several years in Europe they hoped society would be inclined to
+forget and overlook the miserable record of the past few months.
+
+That the young man himself would offer opposition to the plan, and
+prefer to return to the scene of his disgrace, and to his sordid toil,
+did not enter their minds.
+
+In the enthusiasm of his new-born faith Haldane had determined to face
+the public gaze, and hear Dr. Marks preach. It is true, he had greatly
+dreaded the ordeal--and for his mother and sisters, far more than for
+himself. When he began to intimate something of this feeling his mother
+promptly motioned to the waitress to withdraw from the room. He then
+soon learned that they had not attended church since Mrs. Haldane's
+return from her memorable visit to Hillaton, and that they had no
+intention of going to-day.
+
+"The very thought makes me turn faint and sick," said the poor, weak
+gentlewoman.
+
+"We should feel like sinking through the floor of the aisle," chorused
+the pallid young ladies.
+
+Haldane ceased partaking of his breakfast at once, and leaned back in
+his chair.
+
+"Do you mean to say," he asked gloomily, "that my folly has turned this
+house into a tomb, and that you will bury yourselves here indefinitely?"
+
+"Well," sighed the mother, "if we live this wretched life of seclusion,
+brooding over our troubles much longer, smaller tombs will suffice us.
+You see that your sisters are beginning to look like ghosts, and I'm
+sure I feel that I can never lift up my head again. I know it is said
+that time works wonders. Perhaps if we went abroad for a few years, and
+then resided in some other city, or in the seclusion of some quiet
+country place, we might escape this--" and Mrs. Haldane finished with a
+sigh that was far worse than any words could have been. After a moment
+she concluded: "But, of course, we cannot go out here, where all that
+has happened is so fresh, and uppermost in every one's mind. The more I
+think of it, the more decided I am that the best thing for us all is to
+go to some quiet watering-place in Europe, where there are but few, if
+any, Americans; and in time we may feel differently."
+
+Her son ate no more breakfast. He was beginning to realize, as he had
+not before, that he was in a certain sense a corpse, which this decorous
+and exquisitely refined family could not bury, but would hide as far as
+possible.
+
+"You then expect me to go with you to Europe?" he said.
+
+"Certainly. We could not go without a gentleman."
+
+"That I scarcely am now, mother, in your estimation or in society's. I
+think you could get on better without me."
+
+"Now, Egbert, be sensible."
+
+"What am I to do in this secluded European watering-place, where there
+are no Americans, and at which we are to sojourn indefinitely?"
+
+"I am sure I have not thought. Your sisters, at least, can venture out
+and get a breath of fresh air. It is time you thought of them rather
+than of yourself. You could amuse yourself with the natives, or by
+fishing and hunting."
+
+"Mother!" he exclaimed, impetuously, "I no longer desire to merely amuse
+myself. I wish to become a man, in the best sense of the word."
+
+Mrs. Haldane evidently experienced a disagreeable nervous shock at the
+sudden intensity of his manner, but she said, with rebuking quietness:
+
+"I am sure I wish you to become such a man, thoroughly well bred, and
+thoroughly under self-control. It is my purpose to enable you to appear
+like a perfect gentleman from this time forward, and I expect that you
+will be one."
+
+"What will I be but a well-dressed nonentity? what will I be but a
+coward, seeking to get away as far as possible from the place of my
+defeat, and to hide from its consequences?" he answered, with sharp,
+bitter emphasis.
+
+"Egbert, your tendency to exaggeration and violent speech is more than I
+can bear in my weak, nervous condition. When you have thought this
+matter over calmly, and have realized how I and your sisters feel, you
+will see that we are right--that is, if Dr. Marks is correct, and you do
+really wish to atone for the past as far as it now can be done."
+
+The young man paced restlessly up and down the room in an agitated
+manner, which greatly disquieted his mother and sisters.
+
+"Can you not realize," he at last burst out, "that I, also, have a
+conscience? that I am no longer a child? and that I cannot see things as
+you do?"
+
+"Egbert," exclaimed his elder sister, lifting her hand deprecatingly,
+"we are not deaf."
+
+"If you will only follow your conscience," continued Mrs. Haldane, in
+her low monotone, "all will be well. It is your being carried away by
+gusts of impulse and violent passions that makes all the trouble. If you
+had followed your conscience you would at once have left Hillaton at my
+request, and hidden yourself in the seclusion that I indicated. If you
+had done so, you might have saved yourself and us from all that has
+since occurred."
+
+"But I would have lost my self-respect. I should have done worse--"
+
+"Self-respect!" interrupted his mother, with an expression akin to
+disgust flitting across her pale face. "How can you use that word after
+what has happened, and especially now that you are working among those
+vulgar factory people, and living with that profane old creature who
+goes by the name of 'Jerry Growler.' To think that you, who bear your
+father's name, should have fallen so low! The daily and hourly
+mortification of thinking of all this, here, where for so many years
+there was not a speck upon our family reputation, is more than flesh and
+blood can endure. Our only course now is to go away where we are not
+known. Our best hope is to make you appear like what your father meant
+you should be, and try to forget that you have been anything else; and
+if you have any sense of obligation to us left you will do what you can
+to carry out our efforts. Dr. Marks thinks you have met with 'a change
+of heart.' I am sure yon can prove it in no better way than by a docile
+acquiescence in the wishes of one who has a natural right to control
+you, and whose teachings," she added complacently, "had they been
+followed, would have enabled you to hold up your head to-day among the
+proudest in the land."
+
+Haldane buried his face in his hands, and fairly groaned, in his
+disappointment and sense of humiliation.
+
+"Is it possible," asked one of his sisters "that you thought that we
+could all go out to church to-day as usual, and commence life to-morrow
+where he left off when you first went away from home?"
+
+"I expected nothing of the kind," said her brother, lifting up a face
+that was pale from suppressed feeling; "the fact is, I have thought
+little about all this that is uppermost in your minds. I have been all
+through the phase of shrinking from the world's word and touch, as if my
+whole being were a diseased nerve. While in that condition I suffered
+enough, God knows; but even in the police court I was not made to feel
+more thoroughly that I was a disgraced criminal than I have been here,
+in my childhood's home. Perhaps you can't help your feeling; but the
+result is all the same. Through the influence of a woman who belongs to
+heaven rather than earth, I was led to forget the world and all about
+it; I was led to wish to form a good character for its own sake. I
+wanted to be rid of the debasing vices of my nature which she had made
+me hate, and which would separate me from such as she is. I wanted your
+forgiveness, mother. More than all, I wanted God's forgiveness, and that
+great change in my nature which he alone can bestow. I felt that Dr.
+Marks could help me, because I believed in him; and he did carry me, as
+it were, to the very gate of heaven. I expected, at least, a little
+sympathy from you all, and a God-speed as I went back to my work
+tomorrow. I even hoped that you might take me by the hand, and say to
+those who knew us here, 'My son was lost, but is found. He wishes to
+live a manly, Christian life, and all who are Christians should help
+him.' I find, on the contrary, that Christ and his words are forgotten;
+that I am regarded as a hideous and deformed creature, that must be
+disguised as far as possible, and spirited off to some remote corner of
+the earth, and there virtually buried alive. Thus different are the
+teachings of the Bible and the teachings of the world. I thought I could
+not endure my hard lot at Hillaton any longer, but I shall go back to it
+quite content."
+
+As the youth uttered these words, with his usual impetuosity, his mother
+could only weep and tremble in her weak and nervous way; but his sisters
+exclaimed:
+
+"Go back to your old mill-life at Hillaton!"
+
+"Yes, by the first train, to-morrow."
+
+"Well!" they chorused, with a long breath, but as all language seemed
+inadequate they added nothing to their exclamation.
+
+Mrs. Haldane slowly wiped her eyes, and said, "Egbert is excited now,
+and does not realize how we feel. After he has thought it all over
+quietly he will see things in a different light, and will perceive that
+he should take counsel from his mother rather than from a stranger"
+(with peculiar emphasis on this word). "If he really wishes to do his
+duty as a Christian man, he will see that the first and most sacred
+obligations resting on him are to us and not to others, even though they
+may be more angelic than we are. You promised last evening that it would
+be your life-effort to make amends for the wrongs you have inflicted
+upon us; and going back to your old, sordid life and vulgar associations
+would be a strange way of keeping this pledge. I suggest that we all
+retire to our rooms, and in the after part of the day we shall be
+calmer, and therefore more rational;" and the ladies quietly glided out,
+like black shadows. Indeed, they and their lives had become little more
+than attenuated shadows.
+
+There is nothing which so thoroughly depletes and robs moral character
+of all substance--there is nothing which so effectually destroys all
+robust individuality--as the continuous asking of the question, "What
+will, people say?"
+
+Poor Haldane went to his room, and paced it by the hour. He had learned
+thus early that the Christian life was not made up of sacred and
+beatific emotions, under the influence of which duty would become an
+easy, sun-illumined path.
+
+He already was in sore perplexity as to what his duty was in this
+instance. Ought he not to devote himself to his mother and sisters, and
+hope that time would bring a healthful change in their morbid feeling?
+Surely what they asked would not seem hard in the world's estimation--a
+trip to Europe, and a life of luxurious ease and amusement--for society
+would agree with his mother, that he could be as good and Christian-like
+as he pleased in the meantime. The majority would say that if he could
+in part make amends by acquiescence in so reasonable a request, and one
+that promised so much of pleasure and advantage to himself, he ought
+certainly to yield.
+
+But all that was good and manly in the young fellow's nature rose up
+against the plan. In the first place, he instinctively felt that his
+mother and sisters' views on nearly all subjects would be continually at
+variance with his own, since they were coming to look at life from such
+totally different standpoints. He also believed that he would be an
+ever-present burden and source of mortification to them. As a child and
+a boy he had been their idol. They had looked forward to the time when
+he, with irreproachable manners and reputation, would become their
+escort in the exclusive circles in which they were entitled to move. Now
+he was and would continue to be the insuperable bar to those circles;
+and by their sighs and manner he would be continually reminded of this
+fact. Fallen idols are a perpetual offence to their former worshippers,
+as they ever remind of the downfall of towering hopes.
+
+With all his faults, Haldane had too much spirit to go through life as
+one who must be tolerated, endured, kept in the background, and
+concerning whom no questions must be asked.
+
+He did think the matter over long and carefully, and concluded that even
+for his mother and sisters' sake it would be best that they should live
+apart. If he could thoroughly retrieve his character where he had lost
+it, they would be reconciled to him; if he could not, he would be less
+of a burden and a mortification absent than present.
+
+When he considered his own feelings, the thought of skulking and hiding
+through life made his cheek tingle with shame and disgust. Conscience
+sided with his inclination to go back to his old, hard fight at
+Hillaton; and it also appeared to him that he could there better
+maintain a Christian life, in spite of all the odds against him, than by
+taking the enervating course marked out by his mother. He also
+remembered, with a faint thrill of hope, that whatever recognition he
+could get at Hillaton as a changed, a better man, it would be based on
+the rock of truth.
+
+He therefore concluded to go back as he had intended, and with the
+decision came his former, happy, mystical feeling, welling up in his
+heart like the sweet refreshing waters of a spring, the consciousness of
+which filled his heart with courage and confidence as to the future.
+
+"Surely," he exclaimed, "I am a changed, a converted man. These strange,
+sweet emotions, this unspeakable gladness of heart in the midst of so
+much that is painful and distracting, prove that I am. I have not taken
+this journey in vain."
+
+Haldane met only his sisters at dinner, for the scene of the morning had
+prostrated his mother with a nervous headache. In spite of his efforts,
+it was a constrained and dismal affair, and all were glad when it was
+over.
+
+In the evening they all met in Mrs. Haldane's room, and the young man
+told them his decision so firmly and quietly that, while they were both
+surprised and angry, they saw it was useless to remonstrate. He next
+drew such a dreary picture of the future as they had designed it, that
+they were half inclined to think he was right, and that his presence
+would be a greater source of pain than of comfort to them. He also
+convinced them that it would be less embarrassing for them to go to
+Europe alone than with his escort, and that the plan of going abroad
+need not be given up.
+
+But Mrs. Haldane was strenuous on the point that he should leave
+Hillaton, accept of her old offer, and live a quiet, respectable life in
+some retired place where he was not known.
+
+"I will not have it said," she persisted, "that my son is working as a
+common factory hand, nor will I have our name associated with that
+wretched old creature whose profanity and general outlandishness are the
+town-talk and the constant theme of newspaper squibs. You at least owe
+it to us to let this scandal die out as speedily as possible. If you
+will comply with these most reasonable requirements, I will see that you
+have an abundant support. If you will not, I have no evidence of a
+change in your character; nor can I see any better way than to leave you
+to suffer the consequences of your folly until you do come to your
+senses."
+
+"Mother, do you think a young fellow of my years and energy could go to
+an out-of-the-way place, and just mope, eat, and sleep for the sake of
+being supported? I would rather starve first. I fear we shall never
+understand each other; and I have reached that point in life when I must
+follow my own conscience. I shall leave to-morrow morning before any of
+you are up; and in my old working clothes. Good-by;" and before they
+could realize it he had kissed them and left the room.
+
+They weakly sighed as over the inevitable; but one of his sisters said,
+"He will be glad enough to come to your terms before winter."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XL
+
+HUMAN NATURE
+
+
+At an early hour Haldane, true to his purpose, departed from the home of
+his childhood in the guise of a laborer, as he had come. His mother
+heard his step on the stairs, for she had passed a sleepless night,
+agitated by painful emotions. She wished to call him back; she grieved
+over his course as a "dark and mysterious providence," as a misfortune
+which, like death, could not be escaped; but with the persistence of a
+little mind, capable of taking but a single and narrow view, she was
+absolutely sure she was right in her course, and that nothing but harsh
+and bitter experience would bring her wayward son to his senses.
+
+Nor did it seem that the harsh experience would be wanting, for the
+morning was well advanced when he reached his place of work, and he
+received a severe reprimand from the foreman for being so late. His
+explanation, that he had received permission to be absent, was
+incredulously received. It also seemed that gibes, taunts, and sneers
+were flung at him with increasing venom by his ill-natured associates,
+who were vexed that they had not been able to drive him away by their
+persecutions.
+
+But the object of their spite was dwelling in a world of which they knew
+nothing, and in which they had no part, and, almost oblivious of their
+existence, he performed his mechanical duty in almost undisturbed
+serenity.
+
+Mr. Growther welcomed him back most heartily and with an air of eager
+expectation, and when Haldane briefly but graphically narrated his
+experience, he hobbled up and down the room in a state of great
+excitement.
+
+"You've got it! you've got it! and the genuine article, too, as sure as
+my name is Jeremiah Growther!" he exclaimed; "I'd give the whole airth,
+and anything else to boot, that was asked, if I could only git religion.
+But it's no use for me to think about it; I'm done, and cooled off, and
+would break inter ten thousand pieces if I tried to change myself. I
+couldn't feel what you feel any more than I could run and jump as you
+kin. My moral j'ints is as stiff as hedge-stakes. If I tried to git up a
+little of your feelin', it would be like tryin' to hurry along the
+spring by buildin' a fire on the frozen ground. It would only make one
+little spot soft and sloppy; the fire would soon go out: then it would
+freeze right up agin. Now, with you it's spring all over; you feel
+tender and meller-like, and everything good is ready to sprout. Well,
+well! if I do have to go to old Nick at last, I'm powerful glad he's had
+this set-back in your case."
+
+Long and earnestly did Haldane try to reason his quaint friend out of
+his despairing views of himself. At last the old man said testily:
+
+"Now, look here; you're too new-fledged a saint to instruct a seasoned
+and experienced old sinner like me. You don't know much about the Lord's
+ways yet, and I know all about the devil's ways. Because you've got out
+of his clutches (and I'm mighty glad you have) you needn't make light of
+him, and take liberties with him as if he was nobody, 'specially when
+Scripter calls him 'a roarin' lion.' If I was as young as you be, I'd
+make a dead set to git away from him; but after tryin' more times than
+you've lived years, I know it ain't no use. I tell you I can't feel as
+you feel, any more than you can squeeze water out of them old andirons.
+A-a-h!"
+
+Haldane was silent, feeling that the old man's spiritual condition was
+too knotty a problem for him to solve.
+
+After a few moments Mr. Growther added, in a voice that he meant to be
+very solemn and impressive:
+
+"But I want you to enjoy your religious feelin's all the same. I will
+listen to all the Scripter readin' and prayin' you're willin' to do,
+without makin' any disturbance. Indeed, I think I will enjoy my wittles
+more, now that an honest grace can be said over 'em. An' when you read
+the Bible, you needn't read the cussin' parts, if yer don't want to.
+I'll read 'em to myself hereafter. I'll give you all the leeway that an
+old curmudgeon like myself kin; and I expect to take a sight o' comfort
+in seein' you goin' on your way rejoicin'."
+
+And he did seem to take as much interest in the young man's progress and
+new spiritual experiences as if he alone were the one interested. His
+efforts to control his irritability and profanity were both odd and
+pathetic, and Haldane would sometimes hear him swearing softly to
+himself, with strange contortions of his wrinkled face, when in former
+times he would have vented his spite in the harshest tones.
+
+Haldane wrote fully to Mrs. Arnot of his visit to his native city and
+its happy results, and enlarged upon his changed feelings as the proof
+that he was a changed man.
+
+Her reply was prompt and was filled with the warmest congratulations and
+expressions of the sincerest sympathy. It also contained these words:
+
+"I fear that you are dwelling too largely upon your feelings and
+experiences, and are giving to them a value they do not possess. Not
+that I would undervalue them--they are gracious tokens of God's favor;
+but they are not the grounds of your salvation and acceptance with God."
+
+Haldane did not believe that they were--he had been too well taught for
+that--but he regarded them as the evidences that he was accepted, that
+he was a Christian; and he expected them to continue, and to bear him
+forward, and through and over the peculiar trials of his lot, as on a
+strong and shining tide.
+
+Mrs. Arnot also stated that she was just on the eve of leaving home for
+a time, and that on her return she would see him and explain more fully
+her meaning.
+
+In conclusion, she wrote: "I think you did what was right and best in
+returning to Hillaton. At any rate, you have reached that age when you
+must obey your own conscience, and can no longer place the
+responsibility of your action upon others. But, remember, that you owe
+to your mother the most delicate forbearance and consideration. You
+should write to her regularly, and seek to prove that you are guided by
+principle rather than impulse. Your mother has much reason to feel as
+she does, and nothing can excuse you from the sacred duties you owe to
+her."
+
+Haldane did write as Mrs. Arnot suggested. In a few days he received the
+following letter from his mother:
+
+"We shall sail for Europe as soon as we can get ready for the journey.
+Our lawyer is making all the necessary arrangements for us. I will leave
+funds with him, and whenever you are ready in good faith to accept my
+offer, leave Hillaton, and live so that this scandal can die out, you
+can obtain from him the means of living decently and quietly. As it is,
+I live in daily terror lest you again do something which will bring our
+name into the Hillaton papers; and, of course, everything is copied by
+the press of this city. Will the time ever come when you will consider
+your mother's and sisters' feelings?"
+
+For a time all went as well as could be expected in the trying
+circumstances of Haldane's life. His prayers for strength and patience
+were at first earnest, and their answers seemed assured--so assured,
+indeed, that in times of haste and weariness prayer eventually came to
+be hurried or neglected. Before he was aware of it, feeling began to ebb
+away. He at last became troubled, and then alarmed, and made great
+effort to regain his old, happy emotions and experiences; but, like an
+outgoing tide, they ebbed steadily away.
+
+His face indicated his disquiet and anxiety, for he felt like one who
+was clinging to a rope that was slowly parting, strand by strand.
+
+Keen-eyed Mr. Growther watched him closely, and was satisfied that
+something was amiss. He was much concerned, and took not a little of the
+blame upon himself.
+
+"How can a man be a Christian, or anything else that's decent, when he
+keeps such cussed company as I be?" he muttered. "I s'pose I kinder
+pisen and wither up his good feelin's like a sulphuric acid fact'ry."
+
+One evening he exclaimed to Haldane, "I say, young man, you had better
+pull out o' here."
+
+"What do you mean?"
+
+"I'll give you a receipt in full and a good character, and then you look
+for a healthier boardin'-place."
+
+"Ah, I see! You wish to be rid of me?"
+
+"No, you don't see, nuther. I wish you to be rid of me."
+
+"Of course, if you wish me to go, I'll go at once," said Haldane, in a
+despondent tone.
+
+"And go off at half-cock into the bargain? I ain't one of the kind, you
+know, that talks around Robin Hood's barn. I go straight in at the front
+door and out at the back. It's my rough way of coming to the p'int at
+once. I kin see that you're runnin' behind in speret'al matters, and I
+believe that my cussedness is part to blame. You don't feel good as you
+used to. It would never do to git down at the heel in these matters,
+'cause the poorest timber in the market is yer old backsliders. I'd
+rather be what I am than be a backslider. The right way is to take these
+things in time, before you git agoin' down hill too fast. It isn't that
+I want to git rid of you at all. I've kinder got used to you, and like
+to have you 'round 'mazingly; but I don't s'pose it's possible for you
+to feel right and live with me, and so you had better cut stick in time,
+for you must keep a-feelin' good and pi'us-like, my boy, or it's all up
+with you."
+
+"Then you don't want me to go for the sake of your own comfort?"
+
+"Not a bit of it. I only want you to git inter a place that isn't so
+morally pisened as this, where I do so much cussin'; for I will and must
+cuss as long as there's an atom left of me as big as a head of a pin.
+A-a-h!"
+
+"Then I prefer to take my chances with you to going anywhere else."
+
+"Think twice."
+
+"I have thought more than twice."
+
+"Then yer blood be on yer own head," said Mr. Growther with tragic
+solemnity, as if he were about to take Haldane's life. "My skirts is
+clear after this warnin'."
+
+"Indeed they are. You haven't done me a bit of harm."
+
+"Where does the trouble come from then? Who is a-harmin' you?"
+
+"Well, Mr. Growther," said Haldane, wearily, "I hardly know what is the
+matter. I am losing zest and courage unaccountably. My old, happy and
+hopeful feelings are about all gone, and in their place all sorts of
+evil thoughts seem to be swarming into my mind. I have tried to keep all
+this to myself, but I have become so wretched that I must speak. Mrs.
+Arnot is away, or she might help me, as she ever does. I wish that I
+felt differently; I pray that I may, but in spite of all I seem drifting
+back to my old miserable self. Every day I fear that I shall have
+trouble at the mill. When I felt so strong and happy I did not mind what
+they said. One day I was asked by a workman, who is quite a decent
+fellow, how I stood it all? and I replied that I stood it as any
+well-meaning Christian man could. My implied assertion that I was a
+Christian was taken up as a great joke, and now they call me the 'pi'us
+jail-bird.' As long as I felt at heart that I was a Christian, I did not
+care; but now their words gall me to the quick. I do not know what to
+think. It seems to me that if any one ever met with a change I did. I'm
+sure I wish to feel now as I did then; but I grow worse every day. I am
+losing self-control and growing irritable. This evening, as I passed
+liquor saloons on my way home, my old appetite for drink seemed as
+strong as ever. What does it all mean?"
+
+Mr. Growther's wrinkled visage worked curiously, and at last he said in
+a tone and manner that betokened the deepest distress:
+
+"I'm awfully afeerd you're a-backslidin'."
+
+"I wish I had never been born," exclaimed the youth, passionately, "for
+I am a curse to myself and all connected with me, I know I shall have
+trouble with one man at the mill. I can see it coming, and then, of
+course, I shall be discharged. I seem destined to defeat in this my last
+attempt to be a man, and I shall never have the courage or hope to try
+again. If I do break down utterly, I feel as if I will become a very
+devil incarnate. O! how I wish that Mrs. Arnot was home."
+
+"Now this beats me all out," said Mr. Growther, in great perplexity. "A
+while ago you felt like a saint and acted like one, now you talk and act
+as if Old Nick and all his imps had got a hold on ye. How do you explain
+all this, for it beats me?"
+
+"I don't and can't explain. But here are the facts, and what are you
+going to do with them?"
+
+"I ain't a-goin' to do nothin' with 'em except cuss 'em; and that's all
+I kin do in any case. You've got beyond my depth."
+
+The sorely tempted youth could obtain but little aid and comfort,
+therefore, from his quaint old friend, and, equally perplexed and unable
+to understand himself, he sought to obtain such rest as his disquieted
+condition permitted.
+
+As a result of wakefulness in the early part of the night, he slept late
+the following morning, and hastened to his work with scarcely a mouthful
+of breakfast. He was thus disqualified, physically as well as mentally,
+for the ordeal of the day.
+
+He was a few minutes behind time, and a sharp reprimand from the foreman
+rasped his already jangling nerves. But he doggedly set his teeth and
+resolved to see and hear nothing save that which pertained to his work.
+
+He might have kept his resolve had there been nothing more to contend
+with than the ordinary verbal persecution. But late in the afternoon,
+when he had grown weary from the strain of the day, his special
+tormentor, a burly Irishman, took occasion, in passing, to push him
+rudely against a pert and slattern girl, who also was foremost in the
+tacit league of petty annoyance. She acted as if the contact of
+Haldane's person was a purposed insult, and resented it by a sharp slap
+of his face.
+
+Her stinging stroke was like a spark to a magazine; but paying no heed
+to her, he sprang toward her laughing ally with fierce oaths upon his
+lips, and by a single blow sent him reeling to the floor. The machinery
+was stopped sharply, as far as possible, by the miscellaneous
+workpeople, to whom a fight was a boon above price, and with shrill and
+clamorous outcries they gathered round the young man where he stood,
+panting, like a wounded animal at bay.
+
+His powerful antagonist was speedily upon his feet, and at once made a
+rush for the youth who had so unexpectedly turned upon him; and though
+he received another heavy blow, his onset was so strong that he was able
+to close with Haldane, and thus made the conflict a mere trial of brute
+force.
+
+As Haldane afterward recalled the scene, he was conscious that at the
+time he felt only rage, and a mad desire to destroy his opponent.
+
+In strength they were quite evenly matched, and after a moment's
+struggle both fell heavily, and Haldane was able to disengage himself.
+As the Irishman rose, and was about to renew the fight, he struck him so
+tremendous a blow on the temple that the man went to the floor as if
+pierced by a bullet, and lay there stunned and still.
+
+When Haldane saw that his antagonist did not move, time was given him to
+think; he experienced a terrible revulsion. He remembered his profanity
+and brutal rage, he felt that he had broken down utterly. He was
+overwhelmed by his moral defeat, and covering his face with his hands,
+he groaned "Lost, lost!"
+
+"By jocks," exclaimed a rude, half-grown fellow, "that clip would have
+felled an ox."
+
+"Do you think he's dead?" asked the slattern girl, now thoroughly
+alarmed at the consequences of the blow she had given.
+
+"Dead!" cried Haldane, catching the word, and, pushing all aside, he
+knelt over his prostrate foe.
+
+"Water, bring water, for God's sake!" he said eagerly, lifting up the
+unconscious man.
+
+It was brought and dashed in his face. A moment later, to Haldane's
+infinite relief he revived, and after a bewildered stare at the crowd
+around him, fixed his eyes on the youth who had dealt the blow, and then
+a consciousness of all that had occurred seemed to return. He showed his
+teeth in impotent rage for a moment, as some wild animal might have
+done, and then rose unsteadily to his feet.
+
+"Go back to your work, all on ye," thundered the foreman, who, now that
+the sport was over, was bent on making a great show of his zeal; "as for
+you two bull-dogs, you shall pay dearly for this; and let me say to you,
+Mister Haldane, that the pious dodge won't answer any longer."
+
+A moment later, with the exception of flushed faces and excited
+whisperings, the large and crowded apartment wore its ordinary aspect,
+and the machinery clanked on as monotonously as ever.
+
+Almost as mechanically Haldane moved in the routine of his labor, but
+the bitterness of despair was in his heart.
+
+He forgot that he would probably be discharged that day; he forgot that
+a dark and uncertain future was before him. He only remembered his rage
+and profanity, and they seemed to him damning proofs that all he had
+felt, hoped, and believed was delusion.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLI
+
+MRS. ARNOT'S CREED
+
+
+When Haldane entered the cottage that evening his eyes were bloodshot
+and his face so haggard that Mr. Growther started out of his chair,
+exclaiming: "Lord a' massy! what's the matter?"
+
+"Matter enough," replied the youth, with a reckless oath. "The worst
+that I feared has happened."
+
+"What's happened?" asked the old man excitedly.
+
+"I've been fighting in the work-room like a bull-dog, and swearing like
+a pirate. That's the kind of a Christian I am, and always will be. What
+I was made for, I don't see," he added, as he threw himself into a
+chair.
+
+"Well, well, well!" said Mr. Growther dejectedly, "I was in hopes she'd
+git here in time; but I'm afeered you've just clean backslid."
+
+"No kind of doubt on that score," replied the young man, with a bitter
+laugh; "though I now think I never had very far to slide. And yet it all
+seems wrong and unjust. Why should my hopes be raised? why should such
+feelings be inspired, if this was to be the end? If I was foreordained
+to go to the devil, why must an aggravating glimpse of heaven be given
+me? I say it's all cruel and wrong. But what's the use! Come, let's have
+supper, one must eat as long as he's in the body."
+
+It was a silent and dismal meal, and soon over. Then Haldane took his
+hat without a word.
+
+"Where are you goin'?" asked Mr. Growther, anxiously.
+
+"I neither know nor care."
+
+"Don't go out to-night, I expect somebody."
+
+"Who, in the name of wonder?"
+
+"Mrs. Arnot."
+
+"I could as easily face an angel of light now as Mrs. Arnot," he
+replied, pausing on the threshold; for even in his reckless mood the old
+man's wistful face had power to restrain.
+
+"You are mistaken, Egbert," said a gentle voice behind him. "You can
+face me much more easily than an angel of light. I am human like
+yourself, and your friend."
+
+She had approached the open door through the dusk of the mild autumn
+evening, and had heard his words. He trembled at her voice, but ventured
+no reply.
+
+"I have come to see you, Egbert; you will not leave me."
+
+"Mrs. Arnot," he said passionately, "I am not worth the trouble you take
+in my behalf, and I might as well tell you at once that it is in vain."
+
+"I do not regard what I do for you as 'trouble,' and I know it is not in
+vain," she replied, with calm, clear emphasis.
+
+Her manner quieted him somewhat; but after a moment he said:
+
+"You do not know what has happened to-day, nor how I have been feeling
+for many days past."
+
+"Your manner indicates how you. feel; and you may tell me what has
+happened if you wish. If you prefer that we should be alone, come with
+me to my carriage, and in the quiet of my private parlor you can tell me
+all."
+
+"No," said Haldane gloomily; "I am not fit to enter your house, and for
+other reasons would rather not do so. I have no better friend than Mr.
+Growther, and he already knows it all. I may as well tell you here; that
+is, if you are willing to stay."
+
+"I came to stay," said Mrs. Arnot quietly; and sitting down, she turned
+a grave and expectant face toward him.
+
+"I cannot find words in which to tell you my shame, and the utterness of
+my defeat."
+
+"Yes, you can, Egbert. I believe that you have always told me the truth
+about yourself."
+
+"I have, and I will again," he said desperately; "and yet it seems like
+profanation to describe such a scene to you." But he did describe it,
+briefly and graphically, nevertheless. As he spoke of his last fierce
+blow, which vanquished his opponent, Mr. Growther muttered:
+
+"Sarved him right; can't help feelin' glad you hit 'im so hard; but then
+that's in keepin' with the cussedness of my natur'."
+
+A glimmer of a smile hovered around Mrs. Arnot's flexible mouth, but she
+only asked quietly:
+
+"Is that all?"
+
+"I should think that was enough, after all that I had felt and
+professed."
+
+"I fear I shall shock you, Egbert, but I am not very much surprised at
+your course. Indeed I think it was quite natural, in view of the
+circumstances. Perhaps my nature is akin to Mr. Growther's, for I am
+rather glad that fellow was punished; and I think it was very natural
+for you to punish him as you did. So far from despairing of you, I am
+the more hopeful of you."
+
+"Mrs. Arnot!" exclaimed the youth in undisguised astonishment
+
+"Now do not jump to hasty and false conclusions from my words; I do not
+say that your action was right. In the abstract it was decidedly wrong,
+and for your language there is no other excuse save that an old, bad
+habit asserted itself at a time when you had lost self-control. I am
+dealing leniently with you, Egbert, because it is a trick of the
+adversary to tempt to despair as well as to over-confidence. At the same
+time I speak sincerely. You are and have been for some time in a morbid
+state of mind. Let my simple common-sense come to your aid in this
+emergency. The very conditions under which you have been working at the
+mill imposed a continuous strain upon your nervous power. You were
+steadily approaching a point where mere human endurance would give way.
+Mark, I do not say that you might not have been helped to endure longer,
+and to endure everything; but mere human nature could not have endured
+it much longer. It is often wiser to shun certain temptations, if we
+can, than to meet them. You could not do this; and if, taking into
+account all the circumstances, you could have tamely submitted to this
+insult, which was the culmination of long-continued and exasperating
+injury, I should have doubted whether you possessed the material to make
+a strong, forceful man. Of course, if you often give way to passion in
+this manner, you would be little better than a wild beast; but for weeks
+you had exercised very great forbearance and self-control--for one of
+your temperament, remarkable self-control--and I respect you for it. We
+are as truly bound to be just to ourselves as to others. Your action was
+certainly wrong, and I would be deeply grieved and disappointed if you
+continued to give way to such ebullitions of passion; but remembering
+your youth, and all that has happened since spring, and observing
+plainly that you are in an unhealthful condition of mind and body, I
+think your course was very natural indeed, and that you have no occasion
+for such despondency."
+
+"Yes," put in Mr. Growther; "and he went away without his breakfast, and
+it was mighty little he took for lunch; all men are savages when they
+haven't eaten anything."
+
+"Pardon me, Mrs. Arnot," said Haldane gloomily, "all this does not meet
+the case at all. I had been hoping that I was a Christian; what is more,
+it seems to me that I had had the feelings and experiences of a
+Christian."
+
+"I have nothing to say against that," said the lady quietly; "I am very
+glad that you had."
+
+"After what has occurred what right have I to think myself a Christian?"
+
+"As good a right as multitudes of others."
+
+"Now, Mrs. Arnot, that seems to me to be contrary to reason."
+
+"It is not contrary to fact. Good people in the Bible, good people in
+history, and to my personal knowledge, too, have been left to do
+outrageously wrong things. To err is human; and we are all very human,
+Egbert."
+
+"But I don't feel that I am a Christian any longer," he said sadly.
+
+"Perhaps you are not, and never were. But this is a question that you
+can never settle by consulting your own feelings."
+
+"Then how can I settle it?" was the eager response.
+
+"By settling fully and finally in your mind what relation you will
+sustain to Jesus Christ. He offers to be your complete Saviour from sin.
+Will you accept of him as such? He offers to be your divine and unerring
+guide and example in your everyday life. Will you accept of him as such?
+Doing these two things in simple honesty and to the best of our ability
+is the only way to be a Christian that I know of."
+
+"Is that all?" muttered Mr. Growther, rising for a moment from his chair
+in his deep interest in her words. She gave him an encouraging smile,
+and then turned to Haldane again.
+
+"Mrs. Arnot," he said, "I know that you are far wiser in these matters
+than I, and yet I am bewildered. The Bible says we must be converted;
+that we must be born again. It seems to require some great, mysterious
+change that shall renew our whole nature. And it seemed to me that I
+experienced that change. It would be impossible for me to describe to
+you my emotions. They were sincere and profound. They stirred the very
+depths of my soul, and under their influence it was a joy to worship God
+and to do his will. Had I not a right to believe that the hour in which
+I first felt those glad thrills of faith and love was the hour of my
+conversion?"
+
+"You had a right to hope it."
+
+"But now, to-day, when every bad passion has been uppermost in my heart,
+what reason have I to hope?"
+
+"None at all, looking to yourself and to your varying emotions."
+
+"Mrs. Arnot, I am bewildered. I am all at sea. The Bible, as interpreted
+by Dr. Barstow and Dr. Marks, seems to require so much; and what you say
+is required is simplicity itself."
+
+"If you will listen patiently, Egbert, I will give you my views, and I
+think they are correct, for I endeavor to take them wholly from the
+Bible. That which God requires is simplicity itself, and yet it is very
+much; it is infinite. In the first place, one must give up
+self-righteousness--not self-respect, mark you--but mere spiritual
+self-conceit, which is akin to the feeling of some vulgar people who
+think they are good enough to associate with those who are immeasurably
+beyond them, but whose superiority they are too small to comprehend. We
+must come to God in the spirit of a little child; and then, as if we
+were children, he will give to us a natural and healthful growth in the
+life that resembles his own. This is the simplest thing that can be
+done, and all can do it; but how many are trying to work out their
+salvation by some intricate method of human device, and, stranger still,
+are very complacent over the mechanical and abnormal results! All such
+futile efforts, of which many are so vain, must be cast aside. Listen to
+Christ's own words: 'Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart.' He
+who would enter upon the Christian life, must come to Christ as the true
+scientist sits at the feet of nature--docile, teachable, eager to learn
+truth that existed long before he was born, and not disposed to thrust
+forward some miserable little system of his own. Nothing could be
+simpler, easier, or more pleasing to Christ himself than the action of
+Mary as she sat at his feet and listened to him; but many are like
+Martha, and are bustling about in his service in ways pleasing to
+themselves; and it is very hard for them to give up their own way. I've
+had to give up a great deal in my time, and perhaps you will.
+
+"In addition to all trust in ourselves, in what we are and what we have
+done, we must turn away from what we have felt; and here I think I touch
+your present difficulties. We are not saved by the emotions of our own
+hearts, however sacred and delightful they may seem. Nor do they always
+indicate just what we are and shall be. A few weeks since you thought
+your heart had become the abiding-place of all that was good; now, it
+seems to you to be possessed by evil. This is common experience; at one
+time the Psalmist sings in rapturous devotion; again, he is wailing in
+penitence over one of the blackest crimes in history. Peter is on the
+Mount of Transfiguration; again he is denying his master with oaths and
+curses. Even good men vary as widely as this; but Christ is 'the same,
+yesterday, to-day, and forever.' By good men I mean simply those who are
+sincerely wishing and trying to obtain mastery over the evil of their
+natures. If you still wish to do this, I have abundant hope for you--as
+much hope as ever I had."
+
+"Of what value, then, were all those strange, happy feelings which I
+regarded as the proofs of my conversion?" Haldane asked, with the look
+of deep perplexity still upon his face.
+
+"Of very great value, if you look upon them in their true light. They
+were evidences of God's love and favor. They showed how kindly disposed
+he is toward you. They can prove to you how abundantly able he is to
+reward all trust and service, giving foretastes of heavenly bliss even
+in the midst of earthly warfare. The trouble has been with you, as with
+so many others, that you have been consulting your variable emotions
+instead of looking simply to Christ, the author and finisher of our
+faith. Besides, the power is not given to us to maintain an equable flow
+of feeling for any considerable length of time. We react from exaltation
+into depression inevitably. Our feelings depend largely also upon
+earthly causes and our physical condition, and we can never be
+absolutely sure how far they are the result of the direct action of
+God's Spirit upon our minds. It is God's plan to work through simple,
+natural means, so that we may not be looking and waiting for the
+supernatural. And yet it would seem that many are so irrational that,
+when they find mere feeling passing away, they give up their hope and
+all relationship to Christ, acting as if the immutable love of God were
+changing with their flickering emotions."
+
+"I have been just so irrational," said Haldane in a low, deep tone.
+
+"Then settle it now and forever, my dear young friend, that Jesus
+Christ, who died to save you, wishes to save you every day and all the
+days of your life. He does not change a hair-breadth from the attitude
+indicated in the words, 'Come unto me; and whosoever cometh unto me I
+will in no wise cast out.'"
+
+"Do you mean to say he feels that way toward me all the time, in spite
+of all my cantankerous moods?" asked Mr. Growther eagerly.
+
+"Most certainly."
+
+"I wouldn't a' thought it if I'd lived a thousand years."
+
+"What, then, is conversion?" asked Haldane, feeling as if he were being
+led safely out of a labyrinth in which he had lost himself.
+
+"In my view it is simply turning away from everything to Christ as the
+sole ground of our salvation and as our divine guide and example in
+Christian living."
+
+"But how can we ever know that we are Christians?"
+
+"Only by the honest, patient, continued effort to obey his brief
+command, 'Follow me.' We may follow near, or we may follow afar off; but
+we can soon learn whether we wish to get nearer to him, or to get away
+from him, or to just indifferently let him drop out of our thoughts. The
+Christian is one who holds and maintains certain simple relations to
+Christ. 'Ye are my friends,' he said, not if you feel thus and so, but,
+'if ye do whatsoever I command you;' and I have found from many years'
+experience that 'his commandments are not grievous.' For every burden he
+imposes he gives help and comfort a hundred times. The more closely and
+faithfully we follow him, the more surely do fear and doubt pass away.
+We learn to look up to him as a child looks in its mother's face, and
+'his Spirit beareth witness with our spirit that we are his.' But the
+vital point is, are we following him? Feeling varies so widely and
+strangely in varied circumstances and with different temperaments that
+many a true saint of God would be left in cruel uncertainty if this were
+the test. My creed is a very simple one, Egbert; but I take a world of
+comfort in it. It contains only three words--Trust, follow Christ
+--that is all."
+
+"It is so simple and plain that I am tempted to take it as my creed
+also," said Haldane, with a tinge of hope and enthusiasm in his manner,
+
+"And yet remember," warned his friend earnestly, "there is infinite
+requirement in it. A child can make a rude sketch of a perfect statue
+that will bear some faint resemblance to it. If he persevere he can
+gradually learn to draw the statue with increasing accuracy. In taking
+this Divine Man as your example, you pledge yourself to imitate One whom
+you can ever approach but never reach. And yet there is no occasion for
+the weakest to falter before this infinite requirement, for God himself
+in spirit is present everywhere to aid all in regaining the lost image
+of himself. It is to no lonely unguided effort that I urge you, Egbert,
+but to a patient co-working with your Maker, that you may attain a
+character that will fit you to dwell at last in your kingly Father's
+house; and I tell you frankly, for your encouragement, that you are
+capable of forming such a character. I will now bid you good-night, and
+leave you to think over what I have said. But write to me or come to me
+whenever you wish."
+
+"Good-night, Mr. Growther; hate yourself if you will, but remember that
+the Bible assures us that 'God is love'; you cannot hate him."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLII
+
+THE LEVER THAT MOVES THE WORLD
+
+
+The power of truth can scarcely be overestimated, and the mind that
+earnestly seeks it becomes noble in its noble quest. If this can be said
+of truth in the abstract, and in its humbler manifestations, how
+omnipotent truth becomes in its grandest culmination and embodied in a
+being capable of inspiring our profoundest fear and deepest love. One
+may accept of religious forms and philosophies, and be little changed
+thereby. One may be perfectly saturated with ecclesiasticism, and still
+continue a small-natured man. But the man that accepts of Jesus Christ
+as a personal and living teacher, as did the fishermen of Galilee, that
+man begins to grow large and noble, brave and patient.
+
+Egbert Haldane has been sketched as an ordinary youth. There are
+thousands like him who have been warped and marred by early influences,
+but more seriously injured by a personal and wilful yielding to whatever
+form of evil proved attractive. The majority are not so unwary or so
+unfortunate as he was; but multitudes, for whom society has
+comparatively little criticism, are more vitiated at heart, more
+cold-blooded and deliberate in their evil. One may form a base
+character, but maintain an outward respectability; but let him not be
+very complacent over the decorous and conventional veneer which masks
+him from the world. If one imagines that he can corrupt his own soul and
+make it the abiding-place of foul thoughts, mean impulses, and
+shrivelling selfishness, and yet go forward very far in God's universe
+without meeting overwhelming disaster, he will find himself thoroughly
+mistaken.
+
+The sin of another man finds him out in swift sequence upon its
+committal, and such had been Haldane's experience. He had been taught
+promptly the nature of the harvest which evil produces inevitably.
+
+The terrible consequences of sin prevent and deter from it in many
+instances, but they have no very great reformatory power it would seem.
+Multitudes to-day are _in extremis_ from destroying vices, and
+recognize the fact; but so far from reacting upward into virtue, even
+after vice (save in the intent of the heart) has ceased to be possible,
+there seems to be a moral inertia which nothing moves, or a reckless and
+increasing impetus downward.
+
+It would appear that, in order to save the sinful, a strong, and yet
+gentle and loving, hand must be laid upon them. The stern grasp of
+justice, the grip of pain, law--human and divine--with its severe
+penalties, and conscience re-echoing its thunders, all lead too often to
+despondency, recklessness, and despair. It would be difficult to imagine
+a worse hell than vice often digs for its votaries, even in this world;
+and in spite of all human philosophies, and human wishes to the
+contrary, it remains a fact that the guilty soul trembles at a worse
+hereafter, and yet no sufferings, no fears, no fate can so appall as to
+turn the soul from its infatuation with that which is destroying it.
+More potent than commands, threats, and their dire fulfilment, is love,
+which wins and entreats back to virtue the man whom even Omnipotence
+could not drive back.
+
+In the flood God overwhelmed the sinful world in sudden destruction, but
+the race continued sinning all the same. At last God came among men, and
+shared in their lot and nature. He taught them, he sympathized with
+them, he loved them, he died for them, and when the wondrous story is
+told as it should be, the most reckless pause to listen, the most
+callous are touched, and those who would otherwise despair in their
+guilt are led to believe that there is a heart large and tender enough
+to pity and save even such as the world is ready to spurn into a
+dishonored grave.
+
+The love of God as manifested in Christ of Nazareth is doing more for
+humanity than all other influences combined. The best and noblest
+elements of our civilization can be traced either directly or indirectly
+to him, and shadows brood heavily over both the lands and hearts that
+neither know nor care for him.
+
+It would seem, then, that not the wrath of God, but his love, is most
+effective in separating men from the evil which would otherwise destroy
+them. God could best manifest this love by becoming a man "made like
+unto his brethren"; for the love of God is ever best taught and best
+understood, not as a doctrine, but when embodied in some large-hearted
+and Christlike person.
+
+Such a person most emphatically was Mrs. Arnot; and because of these
+divine characteristics her gentle, womanly hand became more potent to
+save young Haldane than were all the powers of evil and the downward
+impetus of a bad life to destroy.
+
+How very many, like him, might be saved, were more women of tact and
+culture, large-hearted also and willing to give a part of their time to
+such noble uses!
+
+By a personal and human ministry, the method that has ever been most
+effective in God's providence, Haldane was at last brought into close,
+intimate relations with the Divine Teacher himself. He was led to look
+away from his own fitful emotions and vague experiences to One who was
+his strong and unchanging friend. He was led to take as his daily guide
+and teacher the One who developed Peter the fisherman, Paul the bigot,
+Luther the ignorant monk, into what they eventually became, and it was
+not strange, therefore, that his crude, misshapen character should
+gradually assume the outlines of moral symmetry, and that strength
+should take the place of weakness. He commenced to learn by experience
+the truth which many never half believe, that God is as willing to
+lovingly fashion the spiritual life of some humble follower as he is to
+shape the destiny of those who are to be famous in the annals of the
+church and the world.
+
+To Haldane's surprise he was not discharged from his humble position in
+Mr. Ivison's employ, and the explanation, which soon afterward appeared,
+gave him great encouragement. The man whom he had so severely punished
+in his outburst of passion, vented his spite by giving to the _Morning
+Courier_ an exaggerated and distorted account of the affair, in which
+the youth was made to exchange places with himself, and appear as a
+coarse, quarrelsome bully.
+
+When Haldane's attention was called to the paragraph his face flushed
+with indignation as he read it; but he threw the paper down and went to
+his work without a word of comment. He had already about despaired of
+anything like justice or friendly recognition from the public, and he
+turned from this additional wrong with a feeling not far removed from
+indifference. He was learning the value of Mrs. Arnot's suggestion, that
+a consciousness of one's own integrity can do more to sustain than the
+world's opinion, and her words on the previous evening had taught him
+how a companionship, and eventually a character, might be won that could
+compensate him for all that he had lost or might suffer.
+
+His persecutor was, therefore, disappointed in seeing how little
+annoyance his spite occasioned, nor was his equanimity increased by a
+message from Mr. Ivison ordering his instant discharge.
+
+The following morning the foreman of the room in which Haldane worked
+came to him with quite a show of friendliness, and said:
+
+"It seems ye're in luck, for the boss takes an interest in ye. Read
+that; I wouldn't a' thought it."
+
+Hope sprang up anew in the young man's breast as he read the following
+words:
+
+EDITOR COURIER.--_Dear Sir:_ You will doubtless give space for this
+correction in regard to the fracas which took place in my factory a day
+or two since. You, with all right-minded men, surely desire that no
+injustice should be done to any one in any circumstances. Very great
+injustice was done to young Haldane in your issue of to-day. I have
+taken pains to inform myself accurately, and have learned that he
+patiently submitted to a petty persecution for a long time, and at last
+gave way to natural anger under a provocation such as no man of spirit
+could endure. His tormentor, a coarse, ill-conditioned fellow, was
+justly punished, and I have discharged him from my employ. I have
+nothing to offer in extenuation of young Haldane's past faults, and, if
+I remember correctly, the press of the city has always been fully as
+severe upon him as the occasion demanded. If any further space is given
+to his fortunes, justice at least, not to say a little encouraging
+kindness, should be accorded to him, as well as severity. It should be
+stated that for weeks he has been trying to earn an honest livelihood,
+and in a situation peculiarly trying to him I have been told that he
+sincerely wishes to reform and live a cleanly and decent life, and I
+have obtained evidence that satisfies me of the truth of this report. It
+appears to me that it is as mean a thing for newspapers to strike a man
+who is down, but who is endeavoring to rise again, as it is for an
+individual to do so, and I am sure that you will not consciously permit
+your journal to give any such sinister blow. Respectfully yours, John
+Ivison.
+
+In editorial comment came the following brief remark:
+
+We gladly give Mr. Ivison's communication a prominent place. It is not
+our intention to "strike" any one, but merely to record each day's
+events as they come to us. With the best intentions mistakes are
+sometimes made. We have no possible motive for not wishing young Haldane
+well--we do wish him success in achieving a better future than his past
+actions have led us to expect. The city would be much better off if all
+of his class were equally ready to go to work.
+
+Here at least was some recognition. The fact that he was working, and
+willing to work, had been plainly stated, and this fact is an essential
+foundation-stone in the building up of a reputation which the world will
+respect.
+
+Although the discharge of the leading persecutor, and Mr. Ivison's
+letter, did not add to Haldane's popularity at the mill, they led to his
+being severely let alone at first, and an increasingly frank and affable
+manner on the part of the young man, as he gained in patience and
+serenity, gradually disarmed those who were not vindictive and blind
+from prejudice.
+
+Poor Mrs. Haldane seemed destined to be her son's evil genius to the
+end. When people take a false view of life there seems a fatality in all
+their actions. The very fact that they are not in accord with what is
+right and true causes the most important steps of their lives to appear
+ill-timed, injudicious, and unnatural. That they are well-meaning and
+sincere does not help matters much, if both tact and sound principles
+are wanting. Mrs. Haldane belonged to the class that are sure that
+everything is right which seems right to them. True, it was a queer
+little jumble of religious prejudices and conventional notions that
+combined to produce her conclusions; but when once they were reached, no
+matter how absurd or defective they appeared to others, she had no more
+doubt of them than of the Copernican system.
+
+Her motherly feelings had made her willing to take her son to some
+hiding-place in Europe; but since that could not be, and perhaps was not
+best, she had thoroughly settled it in her mind that he should accept of
+her offer and live at her expense the undemonstrative life of an oyster
+in the social and moral ooze of the obscurest mud-bank he could find. In
+this way the terrible world might be led to eventually leave off talking
+and thinking of the Haldane family--a consummation that appeared to her
+worth any sacrifice. When the morning paper brought another vile story
+(copied from the Hillaton "Courier") of her son's misdoings, her adverse
+view of his plans and character was confirmed beyond the shadow of a
+doubt. She felt that there was a fatality about the place and its
+associations for him, and her one hope was to get him away.
+
+She cut the article from the paper and inclosed it to him with the
+accompanying note:
+
+
+"We go to New York this afternoon, and sail for Europe to-morrow. You
+send us in parting a characteristic souvenir, which I return to you. The
+scenes and associations indicated in this disgraceful paragraph seem
+more to your taste than those which your family have hitherto enjoyed as
+their right for many generations. While this remains true, you, of
+necessity, cut yourself off from your kindred, and we, who are most
+closely connected, must remain where our names cannot be associated with
+yours. I still cherish the hope, however, that you may find the way of
+the transgressor so hard that you will be brought by your bitter
+experience to accept of my offer and give the world a chance to forget
+your folly and wickedness. When you will do this in good faith (and my
+lawyer will see that it is done in good faith), you may draw on him for
+the means of a comfortable support. In bitter shame and sorrow, your
+mother,
+
+"EMILY HALDANE."
+
+
+This letter was a severe blow to her son, for it contained the last
+words of the mother that he might not see for years. While he felt it to
+be cruelly unjust to him and his present aims, he was calm enough now to
+see that the distorted paragraph which led to it fitted in only too well
+with the past, and so had the coloring of truth. When inclined to blame
+his mother for not waiting for his versions of these miserable events
+and accepting of them alone, he was compelled to remember that she was
+in part awakened from her blind idolatry of him by the discovery of his
+efforts to deceive her in regard to his increasing dissipation. Even
+before he had entered Mr. Arnot's counting-room he had taught her to
+doubt his word, and now she had evidently lost confidence in him
+utterly. He foresaw that this confidence could be regained only by years
+of patient well-doing, and that she might incline to believe in him more
+slowly even than comparative strangers. But he was not disposed to be
+very angry and resentful, for he now had but little confidence in
+himself. He had been led, however, by his bitter experience and by Mrs.
+Arnot's faithful ministry to adopt that lady's brief but comprehensive
+creed, He was learning to trust in Christ as an all-powerful and
+personal friend; he was daily seeking to grasp the principles which
+Christ taught, but more clearly acted out, and which are essential to
+the formation of a noble character. He had thus complied with the best
+conditions of spiritual growth; and the crude elements of his character,
+which had been rendered more chaotic by evil, slowly began to shape
+themselves into the symmetry of a true man.
+
+In regard to his mother's letter, all that he could do was to inclose to
+her, with the request that it be forwarded, Mr. Ivison's defence of him,
+which appeared in the "Courier" of the following morning.
+
+"You perceive," he wrote, "that a stranger has taken pains to inform
+himself correctly in regard to the facts of the case, and that he has
+for me some charity and hope. I do not excuse the wrong of my action on
+that occasion or on any other, but I do wish, and I am trying, to do
+better, and I hope to prove the same to you by years of patient effort.
+I may fail miserably, however, as you evidently believe. The fact that
+my folly and wickedness have driven you and my sisters into exile, is a
+very great sorrow to me, but compliance with your request that I should
+leave Hillaton and go into hiding would bring no remedy at all. I know
+that I should do worse anywhere else, and my self-respect and conscience
+both require that I should fight the battle of my life out here where I
+have suffered such disgraceful defeat."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLIII
+
+MR. GROWTHER "STUMPED"
+
+
+About three weeks after the occasion upon which Haldane's human nature
+had manifested itself in such a disastrous manner as he had supposed,
+Mrs. Arnot, Dr. Barstow, and Mr. Ivison happened to find themselves
+together at an evening company.
+
+"I have been wishing to thank you, Mr. Ivison," said the lady, "for your
+just and manly letter in regard to young Haldane. I think it encouraged
+him very much, and has given him more hopefulness in his work. How has
+he been doing of late? The only reply he makes to my questioning is, 'I
+am plodding on.'"
+
+"Do you know," said Mr. Ivison, "I am beginning to take quite an
+interest in that young fellow. He has genuine pluck. You cannot
+understand, Mrs. Arnot, what an ordeal he has passed through. He is
+naturally as mettlesome as a young colt, and yet day after day he was
+subjected to words and actions that were to him like the cut of a whip."
+
+"Mr. Ivison," said Mrs. Arnot, with a sudden moisture coming into her
+eyes, "I have long felt the deepest interest in this young man. In
+judging any one I try to consider not only what he does, but all the
+circumstances attending upon his action. Knowing Haldane's antecedents,
+and how peculiarly unfitted he was by early life and training for his
+present trials, I think his course since he was last released from
+prison has been very brave," and she gave a brief sketch of his life and
+mental states, as far as a delicate regard for his feelings permitted,
+from that date.
+
+Dr. Barstow, in his turn, also became interested in the youth, not only
+for his own sake, but also in the workings of his mind and his spiritual
+experiences. It was the good doctor's tendency to analyze everything and
+place all psychological manifestations under their proper theological
+heads.
+
+"I feel that I indirectly owe this youth a large debt of gratitude,
+since his coming to our church and his repulse, in the first instance,
+has led to decided changes for the better in us all, I trust. But his
+experience, as you have related it, raises some perplexing questions. Do
+you think he is a Christian?"
+
+"I do not know. I think he is," replied Mrs. Arnot.
+
+"When do you think he became a Christian?"
+
+"Still less can I answer that question definitely."
+
+"But would not one naturally think it was when he was conscious of that
+happy change in the study of good old Dr. Marks?"
+
+"Poor Haldane has been conscious of many changes and experiences, but I
+do not despise or make light of any of them. It is certainly sensible to
+believe that every effect has a cause; and for one I believe that these
+strange, mystical, and often rich and rapturous experiences, are largely
+and perhaps wholly caused in many instances by the direct action of
+God's Spirit on the human spirit. Again, it would seem that men's
+religious natures are profoundly stirred by human and earthly causes,
+for the emotion ceases with the cause. It appears to me that if people
+would only learn to look at these experiences in a sensible way, they
+would be the better and wiser for them. We are thus taught what a grand
+instrument the soul is, and of what divine harmonies and profound
+emotions it is capable when played upon by any adequate power. To expect
+to maintain this exaltation with our present nature is like requiring of
+the athlete that he never relax his muscles, or of the prima donna that
+she never cease the exquisite trill which is but the momentary proof of
+what her present organization is capable. And yet it would appear that
+many, like poor Haldane, are tempted on one hand to entertain no
+Christian hope because they cannot produce these deep and happy
+emotions; or, on the other hand, to give up Christian hope because these
+emotions cease in the inevitable reaction that follows them. In my
+opinion it is when we accept of Christ as Saviour and Guide we become
+Christians, and a Christian life is the maintenance of this simple yet
+vital relationship. We thus continue branches of the 'true vine.' I
+think Haldane has formed this relationship."
+
+"It would seem from your account that he had formed it, consciously, but
+a very brief time since," said Dr. Barlow, "and yet for weeks previous
+he had been putting forth what closely resembles Christian effort,
+exercising Christian forbearance, and for a time at least enjoying happy
+spiritual experiences. Can you believe that all this is possible to one
+who is yet dead in trespasses and sins?"
+
+"My dear Dr. Barstow, I cannot apply your systematic theology to all of
+God's creatures any more than I could apply a rigid and carefully
+lined-out system of parental affection and government to your household.
+I know that you love all of your children, both when they are good and
+when they are bad, and that you are ever trying to help the naughty ones
+to be better. I am inclined to think that I could learn more sound
+theology on these points in your nursery and dining-room than in your
+study. I am sure, however, that God does not wait till his little
+bewildered children reach a certain theological mile-stone before
+reaching out his hand to guide and help them."
+
+"You are both better theologians than I am," said Mr. Ivison, "and I
+shall not enter the lists with you on that ground; but I know what
+mill-life is to one of his caste and feeling, and his taking such work,
+and his sticking to it under the circumstances, is an exhibition of more
+pluck than most young men possess. And yet it was his only chance, for
+when people get down as low as he was they must take any honest work in
+order to obtain a foothold. Even now, burdened as he is by an evil name,
+it is difficult to see how he can rise any higher."
+
+"Could you not give him a clerkship?" asked Mrs. Arnot.
+
+"No, I could not introduce him among my other clerks. They would resent
+it as an insult."
+
+"You could do this," said Mrs. Arnot with a slight flush, "but I do not
+urge it or even ask it. You are in a position to show great and generous
+kindness toward this young man. As he who was highest stooped to the
+lowliest, so those high in station and influence can often stoop to the
+humble and fallen with a better grace than those hearer to them in rank.
+If you believe this young man is now trustworthy, and that trusting him
+would make him still more so, you could give him a desk in your private
+office, and thus teach your clerks a larger charity. The influential and
+assured in position must often take the lead in these matters."
+
+Mr. Ivison thought a moment, and then said: "Your proposition is
+unusual, Mrs. Arnot, but I'll think of it. I make no promises, however."
+
+"Mr. Ivison," added Mrs. Arnot, in her smiling, happy way, "I hope you
+may make a great deal of money out of your business this year; but if,
+by means of it, you can also aid in making a good and true man, you will
+be still better off. Dr. Barstow here can tell you how sure such
+investments are."
+
+"If I should follow your lead and that of Dr. Barstow, all my real
+estate would be in the 'Celestial City,'" laughed Mr. Ivison. "But I
+have a special admiration for the grace of clear grit, and this young
+fellow, in declining his mother's offer and trying to stand on his feet
+here in Hillaton, where every one is ready to tread him down, shows
+pluck, whatever else is wanting. I've had my eye on him for some time,
+and I'm about satisfied he's trying to do right. But it is difficult to
+know what to do for one with his ugly reputation. I will see what can be
+done, however."
+
+That same evening chilly autumn winds were blowing without, and Mr.
+Growther's passion for a wood fire upon the hearth was an indulgence to
+which Haldane no longer objected. The frugal supper was over, and the
+two oddly diverse occupants of the quaint old kitchen glowered at the
+red coals in silence, each busy with his own thoughts. At last Haldane
+gave a long deep sigh, which drew to him at once Mr. Growther's small
+twinkling eyes.
+
+"Tough old world, isn't it, for sinners like us?" he remarked.
+
+"Well, Mr. Growther, I've got rather tired of inveighing against the
+world; I'm coming to think that the trouble is largely with myself."
+
+"Umph!" snarled the old man, "I've allers knowed the trouble was with
+me, for of all crabbed, cranky, cantankerous, old--"
+
+"Hold on," cried Haldane, laughing, "don't you remember what Mrs. Arnot
+said about being unjust to one's self? The only person that I have ever
+known you to wrong is Jeremiah Growther, and it seems to me that you do
+treat him outrageously sometimes."
+
+At the name of Mrs. Arnot the old man's face softened, and he rubbed his
+hands together as he chuckled, "How Satan must hate that woman!"
+
+"I was in hopes that her words might lead you to be a little juster to
+yourself," continued Haldane, "and it has seemed to me that you, as well
+as I, have been in a better mood of late."
+
+"I don't take no stock in myself at all," said Mr. Growther
+emphatically. "I'm a crooked stick and allers will be--a reg'lar old
+gnarled knotty stick, with not 'nuff good timber in it to make a penny
+whistle. That I haven't been in as cussin' a state as usual isn't
+because I think any better of myself, but your Mrs. Arnot has set me
+a-thinkin' on a new track. She come to see me one day while you was at
+the mill, and we had a real speret'al tussel. I argufied my case in such
+a way that she couldn't git round it, and I proved to her that I was the
+driest and crookedest old stick that ever the devil twisted out o' shape
+when it was a-growin'. On a suddent she turned the argerment agin me in
+a way that has stumped me ever since. 'You are right, Mr. Growther,' she
+said, 'it was the devil and not the Lord that twisted you out of shape.
+Now who's the stronger,' she says, 'and who's goin' to have his own way
+in the end? Suppose you are very crooked, won't the Lord get all the
+more glory in making you straight, and won't his victory be all the
+greater over the evil one?' Says I, 'Mrs. Arnot, that's puttin' my case
+in a new light. If I should be straightened out, it would be the
+awfulest set-back Old Nick ever had; and if such a thing should happen
+he'd never feel sure of any one after that.' Then she turned on me
+kinder sharp, and says she, 'What right have you to say that God is
+allers lookin' round for easy work? What would you think of a doctor who
+would take only slight cases, and have nothing to do with people who
+were gittin' dangerous-like? Isn't Jesus Christ the great physician, and
+don't your common-sense tell you that he is jist as able to cure you as
+a little child?'
+
+"I declare I was stumped. Like that ill-mannered cuss in the Scripter
+who thought his old clothes good enough for the weddin', I was
+speechless.
+
+"But I got a worse knock down than that. Says she, 'Mr. Growther, I will
+not dispute all the hard things you have said of yourself (you see I had
+beat her on that line of argerment); I won't dispute all that you say
+(and I felt a little sot up agin, for I didn't know what she was
+a-drivin' at), but,' says she, 'I think you've got some natural
+feelin's. Suppose you had a little son, and while he was out in the
+street a wicked man should carry him off and treat him so cruelly that,
+instead of growin' to be strong and fine-lookin', he should become a
+puny, deformed little critter. Suppose at last you should hear where he
+was, and that he was longin' to escape from the cruel bands of his harsh
+master, who kept on a-treatin' of him worse and worse, would you, his
+father, go and coolly look at him and say, "If you was only a handsome
+boy, with a strong mind in a strong body, I'd deliver you out of this
+tyrant's clutches and take you back to be my son again; but since you
+are a poor, weak, deformed little critter, that can never do much, or be
+much, I'll leave you here to be abused and tormented as before"--is
+that what you would do, Mr. Growther?'
+
+"Well, she spoke it all so earnest and real-like that I got off my
+guard, and I jist riz right up from my cheer, and I got hold of my heavy
+old cane there, and it seemed as if my hair stood right up on end, I was
+that mad at the old curmudgeon that had my boy, and I half shouts, 'No!
+that ain't what I'd do, I'd go for that cuss that stole my boy, and for
+every blow he'd given the little chap, I'd give him a hundred.'
+
+"'But what would you do with the poor little boy?' she asks. At that I
+began to choke, my feelin's was so stirred up, and moppin' my eyes, I
+said, 'Poor little chap, all beaten and abused out o' shape! What would
+I do with him? Why, I couldn't do 'nuff for him in tryn' to make him
+forget all the hard times he'd had.' Then says she, 'You would twit the
+child with bein' weak, puny, and deformed, would you?' I was now
+hobblin' up and down the room in a great state of excitement, and says
+I, 'Mrs. Arnot, mean a man as I am, I wouldn't treat any human critter
+so, let alone my own flesh and blood, that had been so abused that it
+makes my heart ache to think on't.'
+
+"'Don't you think you would love the boy a little even though he had a
+hump on his back and his features were thin and sharp and pale?' 'Mrs.
+Arnot,' says I, moppin' my eyes agin, 'if you say another word about the
+little chap I shall be struck all of a heap, fur my heart jist kinder--
+kinder pains like a toothache to do somethin' for him.' Then all of a
+suddent she turns on me sharp agin, and says she, 'I think you are a
+very inconsistent man, Mr. Growther. You have been runnin' yourself
+down, and yet you claim to be better than your Maker. He calls himself
+our Heavenly Father, and yet you are sure that you have a kinder and
+more fatherly heart than he. You are one of his little, weak, deformed
+children, twisted all out of shape, as you have described, by his enemy
+and yours, and yet you the same as say that you would act a great deal
+more like a true father toward your child than he will toward his. You
+virtually say that you would rescue your child and be pitiful and tender
+toward him, but that your Heavenly Father will leave you in the clutches
+of the cruel enemy, or exact conditions that you cannot comply with
+before doing anything for you. Haven't you read in the Bible that "Like
+as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear
+him"? You think very meanly of yourself, but you appear to think more
+meanly of God. Where is your warrant for doing so?'
+
+"The truth bust in on me like the sunlight into this old kitchen when we
+open the shutters of a summer mornin'. I saw that I was so completely
+floored in the argerment, and had made such a blasted old fool of myself
+all these years, that I just looked around for a knot-hole to crawl
+into. I didn't know which way to look, but at last I looked at her, and
+my withered old heart gave a great thump when I saw two tears a-standin'
+in her eyes. Then she jumps up and gives me that warm hand o' her'n and
+says: 'Mr. Growther, whenever you wish to know how God feels toward you,
+think how you felt toward that little chap that was abused and beaten
+all out o' shape,' and she was gone. Well, the upshot of it all is that
+I don't think a bit better of myself--not one bit--but that weakly
+little chap, with a peaked face and a hump on his back, that Mrs. Arnot
+made so real-like that I see him a-lookin' at me out of the cheer there
+half the time--he's a makin' me better acquainted with the Lord, for the
+Lord knows I've got a hump on my back and humps all over; but I keep
+a-sayin' to myself, 'Like as a father pitieth his children,' and I don't
+feel near as much like cussin' as I used to. That little chap that Mrs.
+Arnot described is doin' me a sight o' good, and if I could find some
+poor little critter just like him, with no one to look after him, I'd
+take him in and do for him in a minit."
+
+"Mr. Growther," said Haldane, huskily, "you have found that poor
+misshapen, dwarfed creature that I fear will never attain the
+proportions of a true man. Of course you see through Mrs. Arnot's
+imagery. In befriending me you are caring for one who is weak and puny
+indeed."
+
+"Oh, you won't answer," said Mr. Growther with a laugh. "I can see that
+your humps is growin' wisibly less every day, and you're too big and
+broad-shouldered for me to be a pettin' and a yearnin' over. I want jest
+such a peaked little chap as Mrs. Arnot pictured out, and that's doin'
+me such a sight o' good."
+
+Again the two occupants of the old kitchen gazed at the fire for a long
+time in silence, and again there came from the young man the same
+long-drawn sigh that had attracted Mr. Growther's attention before.
+
+"That's the second time," he remarked.
+
+"I was thinking," said Haldane, rising to retire, "whether I shall ever
+have better work than this odious routine at the mill."
+
+Mr. Growther pondered over the question a few minutes, and then said
+sententiously: "I'm inclined to think the Lord gives us as good work as
+we're cap'ble of doin'. He'll promote you when you've growed a little
+more."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLIV
+
+GROWTH
+
+
+The next morning Haldane received a message directing him to report at
+Mr. Ivison's private office during the noon recess.
+
+"Be seated," said that gentleman as the young man, wearing an anxious
+and somewhat surprised expression, entered hesitatingly and diffidently.
+"You need not look so troubled, I have not sent for you to find
+fault--quite the reverse. You have 'a friend at court,' as the saying
+goes. Not that you needed one particularly, for I have had my eye upon
+you myself, and for some days past have been inclined to give you a
+lift. But last evening Mrs. Arnot spoke in your behalf, and through her
+words I have been led to take the following step. For reasons that
+perhaps you can understand, it would be difficult for me to give you a
+desk among my other clerks. I am not so sensitive, now that I know your
+better aims, and it is my wish that you take that desk there, in this,
+my private office. Your duties will be very miscellaneous. Sometimes I
+shall employ you as my errand-boy, again I may intrust you with
+important and confidential business. I stipulate that you perform the
+humblest task as readily as any other."
+
+Haldane's face flushed with pleasure, and he said warmly, "I am not in a
+position, sir, to consider any honest work beneath me, and after your
+kindness I shall regard any service I can render you as a privilege."
+
+"A neat answer," laughed Mr. Ivison. "If you do your work as well I
+shall be satisfied. Pluck and good sense will make a man of you yet. I
+want you to understand distinctly that it has been your readiness and
+determination, not only to work, but to do any kind of work, that has
+won my good-will. Here's a check for a month's salary in advance. Be
+here to-morrow at nine, dressed suitably for your new position.
+Good-morning."
+
+"Halloo! What's happened?" asked Mr. Growther as Haldane came in that
+evening with face aglow with gladness and excitement.
+
+"According to your theory I've been promoted sure," laughed the youth,
+and he related the unexpected event of the day.
+
+"That's jest like Mrs. Arnot," said Mr. Growther, rubbing his hands as
+he ever did when pleased; "she's allers givin' some poor critter a
+boost. T'other day 'twas me, now agin it's you, and they say she's
+helpin' lots more along. St. Peter will have to open the gate wide when
+she comes in with her crowd. 'Pears to me sometimes that I can fairly
+hear Satan a-gnashin' of his teeth over that woman. She's the wust enemy
+he has in town."
+
+"I wish I might show her how grateful I am some day," said Haldane, with
+moistened eyes; "but I clearly foresee that I can never repay her."
+
+"No matter if you can't," replied the old man. "She don't want any pay.
+It's her natur' to do these things."
+
+Haldane gave his whole mind to the mastery of his new duties, and after
+a few natural blunders speedily acquired a facility in the diverse tasks
+allotted him. In a manner that was perfectly unobtrusive and respectful
+he watched his employer, studied his methods and habit of mind, and thus
+gained the power of anticipating his wishes. Mr. Ivison began to find
+his office and papers kept in just the order he liked, the temperature
+maintained at a pleasant medium, and to receive many little nameless
+attentions that added to his comfort and reduced the wear and tear of
+life to a hurried business-man; and when in emergencies Haldane was
+given tasks that required brains, he proved that he possessed a fair
+share of them.
+
+After quite a lapse of time Mr. Ivison again happened to meet Mrs.
+Arnot, and he said to her:
+
+"Haldane thinks you did him a great kindness in suggesting our present
+arrangement; but I am inclined to think you did me a greater, for you
+have no idea how useful the young fellow is making himself to me."
+
+"Then you will have to find a new object of benevolence," answered the
+lady, "or you will have all your reward in this world."
+
+"There it is again," said Mr. Ivison, with his hearty laugh, "you and
+Dr. Barstow give a man no peace. I'm going to take breath before I
+strike in again."
+
+In his new employment, Haldane, from the first, had found considerable
+leisure on his hands, and after a little thought decided to review
+carefully the studies over which he had passed so superficially in his
+student days.
+
+Mr. Growther persisted in occupying the kitchen, leaving what had been
+designed as the parlor or sitting-room of his cottage to dust and damp.
+With his permission the young man fitted this up as a study, and bought
+a few popular works on science, as the nucleus of a library. After
+supper he read the evening paper to Mr. Growther, who soon fell into a
+doze, and then Haldane would steal away to his own quarters and pursue
+with zest, until a late hour, some study that had once seemed to him
+utterly dry and unattractive.
+
+Thus the months glided rapidly and serenely away, and he was positively
+happy in a mode of life that he once would have characterized as
+odiously humdrum. The terrible world, whose favor had formerly seemed
+essential, and its scorn unendurable, was almost forgotten; and as he
+continued at his duties so steadily and unobtrusively the hostile world
+began to unbend gradually its frowning aspect toward him. Those whom he
+daily met in business commenced with a nod of recognition, and
+eventually ended with a pleasant word. At church an increasing number
+began to speak to him, not merely as a Christian duty, but because the
+young man's sincere and earnest manner interested them and inspired
+respect.
+
+The fact that he recognized that he was under a cloud and did not try to
+attract attention, worked in his favor. He never asked the alms of a
+kindly word or glance, by looking appealingly to one and another. It
+became his habit to walk with his eyes downcast, not speaking to nor
+looking toward any one unless first addressed. At the same time his
+bearing was manly and erect, and marked by a certain quiet dignity which
+inevitably characterizes all who are honestly trying to do right.
+
+Because he asked so little of society it was the more disposed to give,
+and from a point of bare toleration it passed on to a willingness to
+patronize with a faint encouraging smile. And yet it was the general
+feeling that one whose name had been so sadly besmirched must be kept at
+more than arm's-length.
+
+"He may get to heaven," said an old lady who was remarking upon his
+regular attendance at church, "but he can never hope to be received in
+good society again."
+
+In the meantime the isolated youth was finding such an increasing charm
+in the companionship of the gifted minds who spoke to him from the
+printed pages of his little library that he felt the deprivation less
+and less.
+
+But an hour with Mrs. Arnot was one of his chief pleasures, to which he
+looked forward with glad anticipation. For a long time he could not
+bring himself to go to her house or to take the risk of meeting any of
+her other guests, and in order to overcome his reluctance she
+occasionally set apart an evening for him alone and was "engaged" to all
+others. These were blessed hours to the lonely young fellow, and their
+memory made him stronger and more hopeful for days thereafter.
+
+In his Christian experience he was gaining a quiet serenity and
+confidence. He had fully settled it in his mind, as Mrs. Arnot had
+suggested, that Jesus Christ was both willing and able to save him, and
+he simply trusted and tried to follow.
+
+"Come," said that lady to him one evening, "it's time you found a nook
+in the vineyard and went to work."
+
+He shook his head emphatically as he replied, "I do not feel myself
+either competent or worthy. Besides, who would listen to me?"
+
+"Many might with profit. You can carry messages from Mr. Ivison, can you
+not take a message from your Divine Master? I have thought it all over,
+and can tell you where you will be listened to at least, and where you
+may do much good. I went, last Sunday, to the same prison in which I
+visited you. and I read to the inmates. It would be a moral triumph for
+you, Egbert, to go back there as a Christian man and with the honest
+purpose of doing good. It would be very pleasant for me to think of you
+at work there every Sabbath. Make the attempt, to please me, if for no
+better reason."
+
+"That settles the question, Mrs. Arnot," said Haldane, with a troubled
+smile. "I would try to preach in Choctaw, if you requested it, and I
+fear all that I can say 'out o' my own head,' as Mr. Growther would put
+it, will be worse than Choctaw. But I can at least read to the
+prisoners; that is," he added, with downcast eyes and a flush of his old
+shame, "if they will listen to me, which I much doubt. You, with your
+large generous sympathies, can never understand how greatly I am
+despised, even by my own class."
+
+"Please remember that I am of your class now, for you are of the
+household of faith. I know what you mean, Egbert. I am glad that you are
+so diffident and so little inclined to ask on the ground of your
+Christian profession that the past be overlooked. If there is one thing
+that disgusts me more than another it is the disposition to make one's
+religion a stepping-stone to earthly objects and the means of forcing
+upon others a familiarity or a relationship that is offensive to them. I
+cannot help doubting a profession of faith that is put to such low uses.
+I know that you have special reason for humility, but you must not let
+it develop into timidity. All I ask is that you read to such poor
+creatures in the prison as will listen to you a chapter in the Bible,
+and explain it as well as you can, and then read something else that you
+think will interest them."
+
+Haldane made the attempt, and met, at first, as he feared, with but
+indifferent success. Even criminals looked at him askance as he came in
+the guise of a religious teacher. But his manner was so unassuming, and
+the spirit "I am better than thou" was so conspicuously absent, that a
+few were disarmed, and partly out of curiosity, and partly to kill the
+time that passed so slowly, they gathered at his invitation. He sat down
+among them as if one of them, and in a voice that trembled with
+diffidence read a chapter from the gospels. Since he "put on no airs,"
+as they said, one and another drew near until all the inmates of the
+jail were grouped around him. Having finished the chapter, Haldane
+closed the Bible and said:
+
+"I do not feel competent to explain this chapter. Perhaps many of you
+understand it better than I do. I did not even feel that I was worthy to
+come here and read the chapter to you, but the Christian lady who
+visited you last Sunday asked me to come, and I would do anything for
+her. She visited me when I was a prisoner like you, and through her
+influence I am trying to be a better man. I know, my friends, from sad
+experience, that when we get down under men's feet, and are sent to
+places like these, we lose heart and hope; we feel that there is no
+chance for us to get up again, we are tempted to be despairing and
+reckless; but through the kindness and mercy of that good lady, Mrs.
+Arnot, I learned of a kindness and mercy greater even than hers. The
+world may hate us, scorn us, and even trample us down, and if we will be
+honest with ourselves we must admit that we have given it some reason to
+do all this--at least I feel that I have--but the world can't keep us
+down, and what is far worse than the world, the evil in our own hearts
+can't keep us down, if we ask Jesus Christ to help us up. I am finding
+this out by experience, and so know the truth of what I am saying. This
+Bible tells us about this strong, merciful One, this Friend of publicans
+and sinners, and if you would like me to come here Sunday afternoons and
+read about him, I will do so very gladly, but I don't wish to force
+myself upon you if I'm not wanted."
+
+"Come, my hearty, come every time," said an old sailor, with a
+resounding oath. "Tain't likely I'll ever ship with your captain, for
+sech as I've come to be couldn't pass muster. Howsumever, it's kind o'
+comfortin' to hear one talk as if there was plenty of sea-room, even
+when a chap knows he's drivin' straight on the rocks."
+
+"Come, oh, come again," entreated the tremulous voice of one who was
+crouching a little back of his chair.
+
+Haldane turned, and with a start recognized the fair young girl, whose
+blue eyes and Madonna-like face had, for a moment, even in the agony of
+his own shame, secured his attention while in the police court, more
+than a year before. She was terribly changed, and yet by that strange
+principle by which we keep our identity through all mutations, Haldane
+knew that she was the same, and felt that by a glance he could almost
+trace back her life through its awful descent to the time when she was a
+beautiful and innocent girl. As a swift dark tide might sweep a summer
+pinnace from its moorings, and dash it on the rocks until it became a
+crushed and shapeless thing, so passion or most untoward circumstances
+had suddenly drawn this poor young creature among coarse, destructive
+vices that had shattered the delicate, womanly nature in one short year
+into utter wreck.
+
+"Come again," she whispered in response to Haldane's glance; "come soon,
+or else I shall be in my grave, and I've got the awful fear that it is
+the mouth of the bottomless pit. Otherwise I'd be glad to be in it."
+
+"Poor child!" said Haldane, tears coming into his eyes.
+
+"Ah!" she gasped, "will God pity me like that?"
+
+"Yes, for the Bible says, 'The Lord is very pitiful and of tender
+mercy,' My own despairing thoughts have taught me to look for all of
+God's promises."
+
+"You know nothing of the depths into which I have fallen," she said in a
+low tone; "I can see that in your face."
+
+Again Haldane ejaculated, "Poor child!" with a heartfelt emphasis that
+did more good than the longest homily. Then finding the Bible story
+which commences, "And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner,"
+he turned a leaf down saying:
+
+"I am neither wise enough nor good enough to guide you, but I know that
+Mrs. Arnot will come and see you. I shall leave my Bible with you, and,
+until she comes, read where I have marked."
+
+Mrs. Arnot did come, and the pure, high-born woman shut the door of the
+narrow cell, and taking the head of her fallen sister into her lap,
+listened with responsive tears to the piteous story, as it was told with
+sighs, sobs, and strong writhings of anguish.
+
+As the girl became calmer and her mind emerged from the chaos of her
+tempestuous and despairing sorrow, Mrs. Arnot led her, as it were, to
+the very feet of Jesus of Nazareth, and left her there with these words:
+
+"He came to seek and save just such as you are--the lost. He is reaching
+down his rescuing hand of love to you, and when you grasp it in simple
+confiding trust you are saved."
+
+Before the week closed, the poor creature forever turned her face away
+from the world in which she had so deeply sinned and suffered: but
+before she departed on the long journey, he who alone can grant to the
+human soul full absolution, had said to her, "Thy sins are forgiven; go
+in peace."
+
+As Mrs. Arnot held her dying head she whispered, "Tell him that it was
+his tears of honest sympathy that first gave me hope."
+
+That message had a vital influence over Haldane's subsequent life.
+Indeed these words of the poor dying waif were potent enough to shape
+all his future career. He was taught by them the magnetic power of
+sympathy, and that he who in the depths of his heart feels for his
+fellow-creatures, can help them. He had once hoped that he would dazzle
+men's eyes by the brilliancy of his career, but he had long since
+concluded that he must plod along the lowly paths of life. Until his
+visit to the prison and its results the thought had scarcely occurred to
+him that he could help others. He had felt that he had been too sorely
+wounded himself ever to be more than an invalid in the world's hospital;
+but he now began to learn that his very sin and suffering enabled him to
+approach nearer to those who were, as he was once, on the brink of
+despair or in the apathy of utter discouragement, and to aid them more
+effectively because of his kindred experience.
+
+The truth that he, in the humblest possible way, could engage in the
+noble work for which he revered Mrs. Arnot, came like a burst of
+sunlight into his shadowed life, and his visits to the prison were
+looked forward to with increasing zest.
+
+From reading the chapter merely he came to venture on a few comments.
+Then questions were asked, and he tried to answer some, and frankly said
+he could not answer others. But these questions stimulated his mind and
+led to thought and wider reading. To his own agreeable surprise, as well
+as that of his prison class, he occasionally was able to bring, on the
+following Sabbath, a very satisfactory answer to some of the questions;
+and this suggested the truth that all questions could be answered if
+only time and wisdom enough could be brought to bear upon them.
+
+He gradually acquired a facility in expressing his thoughts, and, better
+still, he had thoughts to express. Some of the prisoners, who were in
+durance but for a brief time, asked him to take a class in the
+Guy-Street Mission Chapel.
+
+"They will scarcely want me there as a teacher," he said with a slight
+flush.
+
+But the superintendent and pastor, after some hesitation and inquiry,
+concluded they did want him there, and with some ex-prisoners as a
+nucleus, he unobtrusively formed a class near the door. The two marked
+characteristics of his Christian efforts--downright sincerity and
+sympathy--were like strong, far-reaching hands, and his class began to
+grow until it swamped the small neighboring classes with uncouth and
+unkempt-looking creatures that were drawn by the voice that asserted
+their manhood and womanhood in spite of their degradation. Finally,
+before another year ended, a large side-room was set apart for Haldane
+and his strange following, and he made every one that entered it, no
+matter how debased, believe that there were possibilities of good in
+them yet, and he was able to impart this encouraging truth because he so
+thoroughly believed it himself.
+
+As he stood before that throng of publicans and sinners, gathered from
+the slums of the city, and, with his fine face lighted up with thought
+and sympathy, spoke to them the truth in such a way that they understood
+it and felt its power, one could scarcely have believed that but two
+years before he had been dragged from a drunken brawl to the common
+jail. The explanation is simple--he had followed closely that same
+divine Master who had taught the fishermen of Galilee.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLV
+
+LAURA ROMEYN
+
+
+Mrs. Haldane and her daughters found European life so decidedly to their
+taste that it was doubtful whether they would return for several years.
+The son wrote regularly to his mother, for he had accepted of the truth
+of Mrs. Arnot's words that nothing could excuse him from the sacred
+duties which he owed to her. As his fortunes improved and time elapsed
+without the advent of more disgraceful stories, she also began to
+respond as frequently and sympathetically as could be expected of one
+taking her views of life. She was at last brought to acquiesce in his
+plan of remaining at Hillaton, if not to approve of it, and after
+receiving one or two letters from Mrs. Arnot, she was inclined to
+believe in the sincerity of his Christian profession. She began to share
+in the old lady's view already referred to, that he might reach heaven
+at last, but could never be received in good society again.
+
+"Egbert is so different from us, my dears," she would sigh to her
+daughters, "that I suppose we should not judge him by our standards. I
+suppose he is doing as well as he ever will--as well indeed as his
+singularly unnatural disposition permits."
+
+It did not occur to the lady that she was a trifle unnatural and
+unchristian herself in permitting jealousy to creep into her heart,
+because Mrs. Arnot had wielded a power for good over her son which she
+herself had failed to exert.
+
+She instructed her lawyer, however, to pay to him an annuity that was
+far beyond his needs in his present frugal way of living.
+
+This ample income enabled him at once to carry out a cherished purpose,
+which had been forming in his mind for several months, and which he now
+broached to Mrs. Arnot.
+
+"For the last half year," he said, "I have thought a great deal over the
+possibilities that life offers to one situated as I am. I have tried to
+discover where I can make my life-work, maimed and defective as it ever
+must be, most effective, and it has seemed to me that I could accomplish
+more as a physician than in any other calling. In this character I could
+naturally gain access to those who are in distress of body and mind, but
+who are too poor to pay for ordinary attendance. There are hundreds in
+this city, especially little children, that, through vice, ignorance, or
+poverty, never receive proper attention in illness. My services would
+not be refused by this class, especially if they were gratuitous."
+
+"You should charge for your visits, as a rule," said wise Mrs. Arnot.
+"Never give charity unless it is absolutely necessary."
+
+"Well, I could charge so moderately that my attendance would not be a
+burden. I am very grateful to Mr. Ivison for the position he gave me,
+but I would like to do something more and better in life than I can
+accomplish as his clerk. A physician among the poor has so many chances
+to speak the truth to those who might otherwise never hear it. Now this
+income from my father's estate would enable me to set about the
+necessary studies at once, and the only question in my mind is, will
+they receive me at the university?"
+
+"Egbert," said Mrs. Arnot, with one of those sudden illuminations of her
+face which he so loved to see, "do you remember what I said long ago,
+when you were a disheartened prisoner, about my ideal of knighthood? If
+you keep on you will fulfil it."
+
+"I remember it well," he replied, "but you are mistaken. My best hope is
+to find, as you said upon another occasion, my own little nook in the
+vineyard, and quietly do my work there."
+
+After considerable hesitation the faculty of the university received
+Haldane as a student, and Mr. Ivison parted with him very reluctantly.
+His studies for the past two years, and several weeks of careful review,
+enabled him to pass the examinations required in order to enter the
+Junior year of the college course.
+
+As his name appeared among those who might graduate in two years, the
+world still further relaxed its rigid and forbidding aspect, and not a
+few took pains to manifest to him their respect for his resolute upward
+course.
+
+But he maintained his old, distant, unobtrusive manner, and no one was
+obliged to recognize, much less to show, any special kindness to him,
+unless they chose to do so. He evidently shrank with a morbid
+sensitiveness from any social contact with those who, in remembrance of
+his past history, might shrink from him. But he had not been at the
+university very long before Mrs. Arnot overcame this diffidence so far
+as to induce him to meet with certain manly fellows of his class at her
+house.
+
+In all the frank and friendly interchange of thought between Mrs. Arnot
+and the young man there was one to whom, by tacit consent, they did not
+refer, except in the most casual manner, and that was Laura Romeyn.
+Haldane had not seen her since the time she stumbled upon him in his
+character of wood-sawyer. He kept her image in a distant and
+doubly-locked chamber of his heart, and seldom permitted his thoughts to
+go thither. Thus the image had faded into a faint yet lovely outline
+which he had learned to look upon with a regret that was now scarcely
+deep enough to be regarded as pain. She had made one or two brief visits
+to her aunt, but he had taken care never to meet her. He had learned
+incidentally, however, that she had lost her father, and that her mother
+was far from well.
+
+When calling upon Mrs. Arnot one blustering March evening, toward the
+close of his Junior year, that lady explained her anxious, clouded face
+by saying that her sister, Mrs. Romeyn, was very ill, and after a moment
+added, half in soliloquy, "What would she do without Laura?"
+
+From this he gathered that the young girl was a loving daughter and a
+faithful nurse, and the image of a pale, yet lovely watcher rose before
+him with dangerous frequence and distinctness.
+
+A day or two after he received a note from Mrs. Arnot, informing him
+that she was about to leave home for a visit to her invalid sister, and
+might be absent several weeks. Her surmise proved correct, and when she
+returned Laura came with her, and the deep mourning of the orphan's
+dress but faintly reflected the darker sorrow that shrouded her heart.
+When, a few sabbaths after her arrival, her veiled figure passed up the
+aisle of the church, he bowed his head in as sincere sympathy as one
+person can give for the grief of another.
+
+For a long time he did not venture to call on Mrs. Arnot, and then came
+only at her request. To his great relief, he did not see Laura, for he
+felt that, conscious of her great loss and the memories of the past, he
+should be speechless in her presence. To Mrs. Arnot he said:
+
+"Your sorrow has seemed to me such a sacred thing that I felt that any
+reference to it on my part would be like a profane touch; but I was sure
+you would not misinterpret my silence or my absence, and would know that
+you were never long absent from my thoughts."
+
+He was rewarded by the characteristic lighting up of her face as she
+said:
+
+"Hillaton would scarcely give you credit for such delicacy of feeling,
+Egbert, but you are fulfilling my faith in you. Neither have I forgotten
+you and your knightly conflict because I have not seen or written to
+you. You know well that my heart and hands have been full. And now a
+very much longer time must elapse before we can meet again. In her
+devotion to her mother my niece has overtaxed her strength, and her
+physical and mental depression is so great that our physician strongly
+recommends a year abroad. You can see how intensely occupied I have been
+in preparations for our hurried departure. We sail this week. I shall
+see your mother, no doubt, and I am glad I can tell her that which I
+should be proud to hear of a son of mine."
+
+The year that followed was a long one to Haldane. He managed to keep the
+even tenor of his way, but it was often as the soldier makes his weary
+march in the enemy's country, fighting for and holding, step by step,
+with difficulty. His intense application in his first year of study and
+the excitements of the previous years at last told upon him, and he
+often experienced days of extreme lassitude and weariness. At one time
+he was quite ill, and then he realized how lonely and isolated he was.
+He still kept his quarters at the hermitage, but Mr. Growther, with the
+kindest intentions, was too old and decrepit to prove much of a nurse.
+
+In his hours of enforced idleness his imagination began to retouch the
+shadowy image of Laura Romeyn with an ideal beauty. In his pain and
+weakness her character of watcher--in which her self-sacrificing
+devotion had been so great as to impair her health--was peculiarly
+attractive. She became to him a pale and lovely saint, too remote and
+sacred for his human love, and yet sufficiently human to continually
+haunt his mind with a vague and regretful pain that he could never reach
+her side. He now learned from its loss how valuable Mrs. Arnot's society
+had been to him. Her letters, which were full and moderately frequent,
+could not take the place of her quiet yet inspiriting voice.
+
+He was lonely, and he recognized the fact. While there were hundreds now
+in Hillaton who wished him well, and respected him for his brave
+struggle, he was too shadowed by disgraceful memories to be received
+socially into the homes that he would care to visit. Some of the church
+people invited him out of a sense of duty, but he recognized their
+motive, and shrank from such constrained courtesy with increasing
+sensitiveness.
+
+But, though he showed human weakness and gave way to long moods of
+despondency, at times inclining to murmur bitterly at his lot, he
+suffered no serious reverses. He patiently, even in the face of positive
+disinclination, maintained his duties. He remembered how often the
+Divine Man, in his shadowed life, went apart for prayer, and honestly
+tried to imitate this example, so specially suited to one as maimed and
+imperfect as himself.
+
+He found that his prayers were answered, that the strong Friend to whom
+he had allied his weakness did not fail him. He was sustained through
+the dark days, and his faith eventually brought him peace and serenity.
+He gained in patience and strength, and with better health came renewed
+hopefulness.
+
+Although not a brilliant student, he was able to complete his university
+course and graduate with credit. He then took the first vacation that he
+had enjoyed for years, and, equipping himself with fishing-rod and a few
+favorite authors, he buried himself in the mountains of Maine.
+
+His prison and mission classes missed him sadly. Mr. Growther found that
+he could no longer live a hermit's life, and began in good earnest to
+look for the "little, peaked-faced chap" that had grown to be more and
+more of a reality to him; but the rest of Hillaton almost forgot that
+Haldane had ever existed.
+
+In the autumn he returned, brown and vigorous, and entered upon his
+studies at the medical school connected with the university with decided
+zest. To his joy he found a letter from Mrs. Arnot, informing him that
+the health of her niece was fully restored, and that they were about to
+return. And yet it was with misgivings that he remembered that Laura
+would henceforth be an inmate of Mrs. Arnot's home. As a memory, however
+beautiful, she was too shadowy to disturb his peace. Would this be true
+if she had fulfilled all the rich promises of her girlhood, and he saw
+her often?
+
+With a foreboding of future trouble he both dreaded and longed to see
+once more the maiden who had once so deeply stirred his heart, and who
+in the depths of his disgrace had not scorned him when accidentally
+meeting him in the guise and at the tasks of a common laborer.
+
+It was with a quickened pulse that he read in the "Spy" one Monday
+evening, that Mrs. Arnot and niece had arrived in town. It was with a
+quicker pulse that he received a note from her a few days later asking
+him to call that evening, and adding that two or three other young men
+whom he knew to be her especial favorites would be present.
+
+Because our story has confined itself chiefly to the relations existing
+between Haldane and Mrs. Arnot, it must not be forgotten that her active
+sympathies were enlisted in behalf of many others, some of whom were
+almost equally attached to her and she to them.
+
+After a little thought Haldane concluded that he would much prefer that
+his first interview with Laura should be in the presence of others, for
+he could then keep in the background without exciting remark.
+
+He sincerely hoped that when he saw her he might find that her old power
+over him was a broken spell, and that the lovely face which had haunted
+him all these years, growing more beautiful with time, was but the
+creation of his own fancy. He was sure she would still be pretty, but if
+that were all he could go on his way without a regretful thought. But if
+the shy maiden, whose half-entreating, compassionate tones had
+interrupted the harsh rasping of his saw years ago, were the type of the
+woman whom he should meet that evening, might not the bitterest
+punishment of his folly be still before him?
+
+He waited till sure that the other guests had arrived, and then entered
+to meet, as he believed, either a hopeless thraldom or complete
+disenchantment.
+
+As he crossed the threshold of the parlor the pleasure of seeing Mrs.
+Arnot again, and of receiving her cordial greeting, obliterated all
+other thoughts from his mind.
+
+He had, however, but a moment's respite, for the lady said:
+
+"Laura, my friend Mr. Haldane."
+
+He turned and saw, by actual vision, the face that in fancy he had so
+often looked upon. It was not the face that he expected to see at all.
+The shy, blue-eyed maiden, who might have reminded one of a violet half
+hidden among the grass, had indeed vanished, but an ordinary pretty
+woman had not taken her place.
+
+He felt this before he had time to consciously observe it, and bowed
+rather low to hide his burning face; but she frankly held out her hand
+and said, though with somewhat heightened color also:
+
+"Mr. Haldane, I am glad to meet you again."
+
+Then, either to give him time to recover himself, or else, since the
+interruption was over, she was glad to resume the conversation that had
+been suspended, she turned to her former companions. Mrs. Arnot also
+left him to himself a few moments, and by a determined effort he sought
+to calm the tumultuous riot of his blood. He was not phlegmatic on any
+occasion; but even Mrs. Arnot could not understand why he should be so
+deeply moved by this meeting. She ascribed it to the painful and
+humiliating memories of the past, and then dismissed his manner from her
+mind. He speedily gained self-control, and, as is usual with strong
+natures, became unusually quiet and undemonstrative. Only in the depths
+of his dark eyes could one have caught a glimpse of the troubled spirit
+within, for it was troubled with a growing consciousness of an infinite
+loss.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLVI
+
+MISJUDGED
+
+
+The young men who were Mrs. Arnot's guests were naturally attracted to
+Laura's side, and she speedily proved that she possessed the rare power
+of entertaining several gentlemen at the same time, and with such grace
+and tact as to make each one feel that his presence was both welcome and
+needed in the circle.
+
+Mrs. Arnot devoted herself to Haldane, and showed how genuine was her
+interest in him by taking up his life where his last letter left it, and
+asking about all that had since occurred. Indeed, with almost a mother's
+sympathy, she led him to speak of the experiences of the entire year.
+
+"It seems to me," he said, "that I have scarcely more than held my
+ground."
+
+"To hold one's ground, at times requires more courage, more heroic
+patience and fortitude, than any other effort we can make. I have been
+told that soldiers can charge against any odds better than they can
+simply and coolly stand their ground. But I can see that you have been
+making progress. You have graduated with honor. You are surely winning
+esteem and confidence. You have kept your faith in God, and maintained
+your peculiar usefulness to a class that so few can reach: perhaps you
+are doing more good than any of us, by proving that it is a fact and not
+a theory that the fallen can rise."
+
+"You are in the world, but not of it," he said; and then, as if anxious
+to change the subject, asked. "Did you see my mother?"
+
+Although Mrs. Arnot did not intend it, there was a slight constraint in
+her voice and manner as she replied: "Yes, I took especial pains to see
+her before I returned, and went out of my way to do so. I wished to
+assure her how well you were doing, and how certain you were to retrieve
+the past, all of which, of course, she was very glad to hear."
+
+"Did she send me no message?" he asked, instinctively feeling that
+something was wrong.
+
+"She said that she wrote to you regularly, and so, of course, felt that
+there was no need of sending any verbal messages."
+
+"Was she not cordial to you?" asked the young man, with a dark frown.
+
+"She was very polite, Egbert. I think she misunderstands me a little."
+
+His lace flushed with indignation, and after a moment's thought he said
+bitterly, and with something like contempt, "Poor mother! she is to be
+pitied."
+
+Mrs. Arnot's face became very grave, and almost severe, and she replied,
+with an emphasis which he never forgot:
+
+"She is to be loved; she is to be cherished with the most delicate
+consideration and forbearance, and honored--yes, honored--because she is
+your mother. You, as her son, should never say, nor permit any one to
+say a word against her. Nothing can absolve you from this sacred duty.
+Remember this as you hope to be a true man."
+
+This was Mrs. Arnot's return for the small jealousy of her girlhood's
+friend.
+
+He bowed his head, and after a moment replied: "Mrs. Arnot, I feel, I
+know, you are right. I thank you."
+
+"Now you are my knight again," she said, her face suddenly lighting up.
+"But come; let us join the others, for they seem to have hit upon a very
+mirthful and animated discussion."
+
+Laura's eye and sympathies took them in at once as they approached, and
+enveloped them in the genial and magnetic influences which she seemed to
+have the power of exerting. Although naturally and deeply interested in
+his interview with Mrs. Arnot, Haldane's eyes and thoughts had been
+drawn frequently and irresistibly to the object of his old-time passion.
+She was, indeed, very different from what he had expected. The diffident
+maiden, so slight in form and shy in manner, had not developed into a
+drooping lily of a woman, suggesting that she must always have a manly
+support of some kind near at hand. Still less had she become a typical
+belle, and the aggressive society girl who captures and amuses herself
+with her male admirers with the grace and sang froid of a sportive
+kitten that carefully keeps a hapless mouse within reach of her velvet
+paw. The pale and saint-like image which he had so long enshrined within
+his heart, and which had been created by her devotion to her mother,
+also faded utterly away in the presence of the reality before him. She
+was a veritable flesh-and-blood woman, with the hue of health upon her
+cheek, and the charm of artistic beauty in her rounded form and graceful
+manner. She was a revelation to him, transcending not only all that he
+had seen, but all that he had imagined.
+
+Thus far he had not attained a moral and intellectual culture which
+enabled him even to idealize so beautiful and perfect a creature. She
+was not a saint in the mystical or imaginative sense of the word, but,
+as a queen reigning by the divine right of her surpassing loveliness and
+grace in even Hillaton's exclusive society, she was practically as far
+removed from him as if she were an ideal saint existing only in a
+painter's haunted imagination.
+
+Nature had dowered Laura Romeyn very richly in the graces of both person
+and mind; but many others are equally favored. Her indescribable charm
+arose from the fact that she was very receptive in her disposition. She
+had been wax to receive, but marble to retain. Therefore, since she had
+always lived and breathed in an atmosphere of culture, refinement, and
+Christian faith, her character had the exquisite beauty and fragrance
+which belongs to a rare flower to which all the conditions of perfect
+development have been supplied. Although the light of her eye was
+serene, and her laugh as clear and natural as the fall of water, there
+was a nameless something which indicated that her happy, healthful
+nature rested against a dark background of sorrow and trial, and was
+made the richer and more perfect thereby.
+
+Her self-forgetfulness was contagious. The beautiful girl did not look
+from one to another of the admiring circle for the sake of picking up a
+small revenue of flattery. From a native generosity she wished to give
+pleasure to her guests; from a holy principle instilled into her nature
+so long ago that she was no longer conscious of it, she wished to do
+them good by suggesting only such thoughts as men associate with pure,
+good women; and from an earnest, yet sprightly mind, she took a genuine
+interest herself in the subjects on which they were conversing.
+
+By her tact, and with Mrs. Arnot's efficient aid, she drew all into the
+current of their talk. The three other young men who were Mrs. Arnot's
+guests that evening were manly fellows, and had come to treat Haldane
+with cordial respect. Thus for a time he was made to forget all that had
+occurred to cloud his life. He found that the presence of Laura kindled
+his intellect with a fire of which he had never been conscious before.
+His eyes flashed sympathy with every word she said, and before he was
+aware he, too, was speaking his mind with freedom, for he saw no
+chilling repugnance toward him in the kindly light of her deep blue
+eyes. She led him to forget himself and his past so completely that he,
+in the excitement of argument, inadvertently pronounced his own doom. In
+answer to the remark of another, he said:
+
+"Society is right in being conservative and exclusive, and its favor
+should be the highest earthly reward of a stainless life. The coarse and
+the vulgar should be taught that they cannot purchase it nor elbow their
+way into it, and those who have it should be made to feel that losing it
+is like losing life, for it can never be regained. Thus society not only
+protects itself, but prevents weak souls from dallying with temptation."
+
+So well-bred was Laura that, while her color deepened at his words, she
+betrayed no other consciousness that they surprised her. But he suddenly
+remembered all, and the blood rushed tumultuously to his face, then left
+it very pale.
+
+"What I have said is true, nevertheless," he added quietly and
+decisively, as if in answer to these thoughts; "and losing one's place
+in society may be worse than losing life."
+
+He felt that this was true, as he looked at the beautiful girl before
+him, so kind and gentle, and yet so unapproachable by him; and, what is
+more, he saw in her face pitying acquiescence to his words. As her
+aunt's protege, as a young man trying to reform, he felt that he would
+have her good wishes and courteous treatment, but never anything more.
+
+"Egbert, I take issue with you," began Mrs. Arnot warmly; but further
+remark was interrupted by the entrance of a gentleman, who was announced
+as
+
+"Mr. Beaumont."
+
+There was a nice distinction between the greeting given by Mrs. Arnot to
+this gentleman and that which she had bestowed upon Haldane and her
+other guests. His reception was simply the perfection of quiet courtesy,
+and no one could have been sure that the lady was glad to see him. She
+merely welcomed him as a social equal to her parlors, and then turned
+again to her friends.
+
+But Laura had a kindlier greeting for the new-comer. While her manner
+was equally undemonstrative, her eyes lighted up with pleasure and the
+color deepened in her cheeks. It was evident that they were old
+acquaintances, and that he had found previous occasions for making
+himself very agreeable.
+
+Mr. Beaumont did not care to form one of a circle. He was in the world's
+estimation, possibly in his own, a complete circle in himself, rounded
+out and perfect on every side. He was the only son in one of the oldest
+and most aristocratic families in the city; he was the heir of very
+large wealth; his careful education had been supplemented by years of
+foreign travel; he was acknowledged to be the best connoisseur of art in
+Hillaton; and to his irreproachable manners was added an irreproachable
+character. "He is a perfect gentleman," was the verdict of the best
+society wherever he appeared.
+
+Something to this effect Haldane learned from one of the young men with
+whom he had been spending the evening, as they bent their steps
+homeward--for soon after Mr. Beaumont's arrival all took their
+departure.
+
+That gentleman seemed to bring in with him a different atmosphere from
+that which had prevailed hitherto. Although his bow was distant to
+Haldane when introduced, his manner had been the perfection of
+politeness to the others. For some reason, however, there had been a
+sudden restraint and chill. Possibly they had but unconsciously obeyed
+the strong will of Mr. Beaumont, who wished their departure. He was
+almost as resolute in having his own way as Mr. Arnot himself. Not that
+he was ever rude to any one in any circumstances, but he could politely
+freeze objectionable persons out of a room as effectually as if he took
+them by the shoulders and walked them out. There was so much in his
+surroundings and antecedents to sustain his quiet assumption, that the
+world was learning to say, "By your leave," on all occasions.
+
+Haldane was not long in reaching a conclusion as he sat over a dying
+fire in his humble quarters at the hermitage. If he saw much of Laura
+Romeyn he would love her of necessity by every law of his being.
+Assuring himself of the hopelessness of his affection would make no
+difference to one of his temperament. He was not one who could coolly
+say to his ardent and impetuous nature, "Thus far, and no farther."
+There was something in her every tone, word, and movement which touched
+chords within his heart that vibrated pleasurably or painfully.
+
+This power cannot be explained. It was not passion. Were Laura far more
+beautiful, something in her manner or character might speedily have
+broken the spell by which she unconsciously held her captive. His
+emotion in no respect resembled the strong yet restful affection that he
+entertained for Mrs. Arnot. Was it love? Why should he love one who
+would not love in return, and who, both in the world's and his own
+estimation, was infinitely beyond his reach? However much his reason
+might condemn his feelings, however much he might regret the fact, his
+heart trembled at her presence, and, by some instinct of its own,
+acknowledged its mistress. He was compelled to admit to himself that he
+loved her already, and that his boyhood's passion had only changed as he
+had changed, and had become the strong and abiding sentiment of the man.
+She only could have broken the power by becoming commonplace, by losing
+the peculiar charm which she had for him from the first. But now he
+could not choose; he had met his fate.
+
+One thing, however, he could do, and that he resolved upon before he
+closed his eyes in sleep in the faint dawning of the following day. He
+would not flutter as a poor moth where he could not be received as an
+accepted lover.
+
+This resolution he kept. He did not cease calling upon Mrs. Arnot, nor
+did the quiet warmth of his manner toward her change; but his visits
+became less frequent, he pleading the engrossing character of his
+studies, and the increasing preparation required to maintain his hold on
+his mission-class; but the lady's delicate intuition was not long in
+divining the true cause. One of his unconscious glances at Laura
+revealed his heart to her woman's eye as plainly as could any spoken
+words. But by no word or hint did Mrs. Arnot reveal to him her
+knowledge. Her tones might have been gentler and her eyes kinder; that
+was all. In her heart, however, she almost revered the man who had the
+strength and patience to take up this heavy and hopeless burden, and go
+on in the path of duty without a word. How different was his present
+course from his former passionate clamor for what was then equally
+beyond his reach? She was almost provoked at her niece that she did not
+appreciate Haldane more. But would she wish her peerless ward to marry
+this darkly shadowed man, to whom no parlor in Hillaton was open save
+her own? Even Mrs. Arnot would shrink from this question.
+
+Laura, too, had perceived that which Haldane meant to hide from all the
+world. When has a beautiful woman failed to recognize her worshippers?
+But there was nothing in Laura's nature which permitted her to exult
+over such a discovery. She could not resent as presumption a love that
+was so unobtrusive, for it became more and more evident as time passed
+that the man who was mastered by it would never voluntarily give to her
+the slightest hint of its existence. She was pleased that he was so
+sensible as to recognize the impassable gulf between them, and that he
+did not go moaning along the brink, thus making a spectacle of himself,
+and becoming an annoyance to her. Indeed, she sincerely respected him
+for his reticence and self-control, but she also misjudged him; for he
+was so patient and strong, and went forward with his duties so quietly
+and steadily, that she was inclined to believe that his feelings toward
+her were not very deep, or else that he was so constituted that affairs
+of the heart did not give him very much trouble.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLVII
+
+LAURA CHOOSES HER KNIGHT
+
+
+Why Laura, how your cheeks burn!" exclaimed Mrs. Arnot as she entered
+her niece's room one afternoon.
+
+"Now, don't laugh at me for being so foolish, but I have become absurdly
+excited over this story. Scott was well called the 'Wizard of the
+North.' What a spell he weaves over his pages! When reading some of his
+descriptions of men and manners in those old chivalric times, I feel
+that I have been born some centuries too late--in our time everything is
+so matter-of-fact, and the men are so prosaic. The world moves on with a
+steady business jog, or, to change the figure, with the monotonous clank
+of uncle's machinery. My castle in the air would be the counterpart of
+those which Scott describes."
+
+"Romantic as ever," laughed her aunt; "and that reminds me, by the way,
+of the saying that romantic girls always marry matter-of-fact men,
+which, I suppose, will be your fate. I confess I much prefer our own
+age. Your stony castles make me shiver with a sense of discomfort; and
+as for the men, I imagine they are much the same now as then, for human
+nature does not change much."
+
+"O, auntie, what a prosaic speech! Uncle might have made it himself. The
+idea of men being much the same now! Why, in that day there were the
+widest and most picturesque differences between men of the same rank.
+There were horrible villains, and then to vanquish these and undo the
+mischief they were ever causing, there were knights _sans peur et sans
+reproche._ But now a gentleman is a gentleman, and all made up very
+much in the same style, like their dress coats. I would like to have
+seen at least one genuine knight--a man good enough and brave enough to
+do and to dare anything to which he could be impelled by a most
+chivalric sense of duty. About the most heroic thing a man ever did for
+me was to pick up my fan."
+
+Mrs. Arnot thought of one man whose heart was almost breaking for her,
+and yet who maintained such a quiet, masterful self-control that the
+object of his passion, which had become like a torturing flame, was not
+subjected to even the slightest annoyance; and she said, "You are
+satirical today. In my opinion there are as true knights now as your
+favorite author ever described."
+
+"Not in Hillaton," laughed Laura, "or else their disguise is perfect."
+
+"Yes, in Hillaton," replied Mrs. Arnot, with some warmth, "and among the
+visitors at this house. I know of one who bids fair to fulfil my highest
+ideal of knighthood, and I think you will do me the justice to believe
+that my standard is not a low one."
+
+"Auntie, you fairly takeaway my breath!" said Laura, in the same
+half-jesting spirit." Where have my eyes been? Pray, who is this
+paragon, who must, indeed, be nearly perfect, to satisfy your standard?"
+
+"You must discover him for yourself; as you say, he appears to be but a
+gentleman, and would be the last one in the world to think of himself as
+a knight, or to fill your ideal of one. You must remember the character
+of our age. If one of your favorite knights should step, armed
+_cap-a-pie,_ out of Scott's pages, all the dogs in town would be at
+his heels, and he would probably bring up at the station-house. My
+knight promises to become the flower of his own age. Now I think of it,
+I do not like the conventional word 'flower,' as used in this
+connection, for my knight is steadily growing strong like a young oak. I
+hope I may live to see the man he will eventually become."
+
+"You know well, auntie," said Laura, "that I have not meant half I have
+said. The men of our day are certainly equal to the women, and I shall
+not have to look far to find my superior in all respects. I must admit,
+however, that your words have piqued my curiosity, and I am rather glad
+you have not named this 'heart of oak,' for the effort to discover him
+will form a pleasant little excitement."
+
+"Were I that way inclined," said Mrs. Arnot, smiling, "I would be
+willing to wager a good deal that you will hit upon the wrong man."
+
+Laura became for a time quite a close student of human nature, observing
+narrowly the physiognomy and weighing the words and manner, of her many
+gentleman acquaintances; but while she found much to respect, and even
+to admire, in some, she was not sure that any one of them answered to
+her aunt's description. Nor could she obtain any further light by
+inquiring somewhat into their antecedents. As for Mrs. Arnot, she was
+considerably amused, but continued perfectly non-committal.
+
+After Laura had quite looked through her acquaintances Haldane made one
+of his infrequent calls, but as Mr. Beaumont was also present she gave
+to her quondam lover scarcely more than a kindly word of greeting, and
+then forgot his existence. It did not occur to her, any more than it
+would to Haldane himself, that he was the knight.
+
+Mr. Arnot, partly out of a grim humor peculiarly his own, and partly to
+extenuate his severity toward the youth, had sent to his niece all the
+city papers containing unfavorable references to Haldane, and to her
+mind the associations created by those disgraceful scenes were still
+inseparable from him. She honestly respected him for his resolute effort
+to reform, as she would express it, and as a sincere Christian girl she
+wished him the very best of success, but this seemed as far as her
+regard for him could ever go. She treated him kindly where most others
+in her station would not recognize him at all, but such was the delicacy
+and refinement of her nature that she shrank from one who had been
+capable of acts like his. The youth who had annoyed her with his
+passion, whom she had seen fall upon the floor in gross intoxication,
+who had been dragged through the streets as a criminal, and who twice
+had been in jail, was still a vivid memory. She knew comparatively
+little about, and did not understand, the man of to-day. Beyond the
+general facts that he was doing well and doing good, it was evident
+that, by reason of old and disagreeable associations, she did not wish
+to hear much about him, and Mrs. Arnot had the wisdom to see that time
+and the young man's own actions would do more to remove prejudice from
+the mind of her niece, as well as from the memory of society in general,
+than could any words of hers.
+
+Of course, such a girl as Laura had many admirers, and among them Mr.
+Beaumont was evidently winning the first place in her esteem. Whether he
+were the knight that her aunt had in mind or no, she was not sure, but
+he realized her ideal more completely than any man whom she had ever
+met. He did, indeed, seem the "perfect flower of his age," although she
+was not so sure of the oak-like qualities. She often asked herself
+wherein she could find fault with him or with all that related to him,
+and even her delicate discrimination could scarcely find a vulnerable
+point. He was fine-looking, his heavy side-whiskers redeeming his face
+from effeminacy; he was tall and elegant in his proportions; his taste
+in his dress was quiet and faultless; he possessed the most refined and
+highly cultured mind of any man whom she had known; his family was
+exceedingly proud and aristocratic, but as far as there can be reason
+for these characteristics, this old and wealthy family had such reason.
+Laura certainly could not find fault with these traits, for from the
+first Mr. Beaumont's parents had sought to pay her especial attention.
+It was quite evident that they thought that the orphaned girl who was so
+richly dowered with wealth and beauty might make as good a wife for
+their matchless son as could be found, and such an opinion on their part
+was, indeed, a high compliment to Laura's birth and breeding. No one
+else in Hillaton would have been thought of with any equanimity.
+
+The son was inclined to take the same view as that entertained by his
+parents, but, as the party most nearly interested, he felt it incumbent
+upon him to scrutinize very closely and deliberately the woman who might
+become his wife, and surely this was a sensible thing to do.
+
+There was nothing mercenary or coarse in his delicate analysis and close
+observation. Far from it. Mr. Beaumont was the last man in the world to
+look a lady over as he would a bale of merchandise. More than all things
+else, Mr. Beaumont was a _connoisseur_, and he sought Mrs. Arnot's
+parlors with increasing frequency because he believed that he would
+there find the woman best fitted to become the chief ornament of the
+stately family mansion.
+
+Laura had soon become conscious of this close tentative scrutiny, and at
+first she had been inclined to resent its cool deliberateness. But,
+remembering that a man certainly has a right to learn well the character
+of the woman whom he may ask to be his wife, she felt that there was
+nothing in his action of which she could complain; and it soon became a
+matter of pride with her, as much as anything else, to satisfy those
+fastidious eyes that hitherto had critically looked the world over, and
+in vain, for a pearl with a lustre sufficiently clear. She began to
+study his taste, to dress for him, to sing for him, to read his favorite
+authors; and so perfect was his taste that she found herself aided and
+enriched by it. He was her superior in these matters, for he had made
+them his life-study. The first hour that she spent with him in a
+picture-gallery was long remembered, for never before had those fine and
+artistic marks which make a painting great been so clearly pointed out
+to her. She was brought to believe that this man could lead her to the
+highest point of culture to which she could attain, and satisfy every
+refined taste that she possessed. It seemed as if he could make life one
+long gallery of beautiful objects, through which she might stroll in
+elegant leisure, ever conscious that lie who stood by to minister and
+explain was looking away from all things else in admiration of herself.
+
+The prospect was too alluring. Laura was not an advanced female, with a
+mission; she was simply a young and lovely woman, capable of the noblest
+action and feeling should the occasion demand them, but naturally
+luxurious and beauty-loving in her tastes, and inclined to shun the
+prosaic side of life.
+
+She made Beaumont feel that she also was critical and exacting. She had
+lived too long under Mrs. Arnot's influence to be satisfied with a man
+who merely lived for the pleasure he could get out of each successive
+day. He saw that she demanded that he should have a purpose and aim in
+life, and he skilfully met this requirement by frequently descanting on
+aesthetic culture as the great lever which could move the world, and by
+suggesting that the great question of his future was how he could best
+bring this culture to the people. As a Christian, she took issue with
+him as to its being the great lever, but was enthusiastic over it as a
+most powerful means of elevating the masses, and she often found herself
+dreaming over how much a man gifted with Mr. Beaumont's exquisite taste
+and large wealth could do by placing within the reach of the multitude
+objects of elevating art and beauty.
+
+By a fine instinct she felt, rather than saw, that Mrs. Arnot did not
+specially like the seemingly faultless man, and was led to believe that
+her aunt's ideal knight was to be found among some of the heartier young
+men who were bent on doing good in the old-fashioned ways; and, with a
+tendency not unnatural in one so young and romantic, she thought of her
+aunt as being a bit old-fashioned and prosaic herself. In her youthful
+and ardent imagination Beaumont came to fill more and more definitely
+her ideal of the modern knight--a man who summed up within himself the
+perfect culture of his age, and who was proposing to diffuse that
+culture as widely as possible.
+
+"You do not admire Mr. Beaumont," said Laura a little abruptly to her
+aunt one day.
+
+"You are mistaken, Laura; I do admire him very much."
+
+"Well, you do not like him, then, to speak more correctly; he takes no
+hold upon your sympathies."
+
+"There is some truth in your last remark, I must admit. For some reason
+he does not. Perhaps it is my fault, and I have sometimes asked myself,
+Is Mr. Beaumont capable of strong affection or self-sacrificing action?
+has he much heart?"
+
+"I think you do him injustice in these respects," said Laura warmly.
+
+"Quite probably," replied Mrs. Arnot, adding with a mischievous smile,
+which brought the rich color to her niece's cheeks, "Perhaps you are in
+a better position to judge of his possession of these qualities than I
+am. Thus far he has given me only the opportunity of echoing society's
+verdict--He is a perfect gentleman. I wish he were a better Christian,"
+she concluded gravely.
+
+"I think he is a Christian, auntie."
+
+"Yes, dear, in a certain aesthetic sense. But far be it from me to judge
+him. Like the rest of the world, I respect him as an honorable
+gentleman."
+
+A few days after this conversation Mr. Beaumont drove a pair of
+coal-black horses to Mrs. Arnot's door, and invited Laura to take a
+drive. When, in the twilight, she returned, she went straight to her
+aunt's private parlor, and, curling down at her knees, as was her custom
+when a child, said:
+
+"Give me your blessing, auntie; your congratulations, also--I hope,
+although I am not so sure of these. I have found my knight, though
+probably not yours. See!" and she held up her finger, with a great
+flashing diamond upon it.
+
+Mrs. Arnot took the girl in her arms and said, "I do bless you, my
+child, and I think I can congratulate you also. On every principle of
+worldly prudence and worldly foresight I am sure I can. It will be very
+hard ever to give you up to another; and yet I am growing old, and I am
+glad that you, who are such a sacred charge to me, have chosen one who
+stands so high in the estimation of all, and who is so abundantly able
+to gratify your tastes."
+
+"Yes, auntie, I think I am fortunate," said Laura, with complacent
+emphasis. "I have found a man not only able to gratify all my
+tastes--and you know that many of them are rather expensive--but he
+himself satisfies my most critical taste, and even fills out the ideal
+of my fancy."
+
+Mrs. Arnot gave a sudden sigh.
+
+"Now, auntie, what, in the name of wonder, can that foreboding sigh
+mean?"
+
+"You have not said that he satisfied your heart."
+
+"O, I think he does fully," said Laura, hastily, though with a faint
+misgiving." These tender feelings will come in their own good time. We
+have not got far enough along for them yet. Besides, I never could have
+endured a passionate lover. I was cured of any such tastes long ago, you
+remember," she added, with a faint laugh.
+
+"Poor Egbert!" ejaculated Mrs. Arnot, with such sad emphasis that Laura
+looked up into her face inquiringly as she asked:
+
+"You don't think he will care much, do you?"
+
+"Yes, Laura; you know he will care, perhaps more deeply than I do; but I
+believe that he will wish you happiness as truly and honestly as
+myself."
+
+"O, auntie! how can it be that he will care as much as yourself?"
+
+"Is it possible, Laura, that you have failed to detect his regard for
+you in all these months? I detected it at a glance, and felt sure that
+you had also."
+
+"So I did, auntie, long since, but I supposed it was, as you say, a mere
+regard that did not trouble him much. I should be sorry to think that it
+was otherwise."
+
+"At all events, it has not troubled you much, whatever it may have cost
+him. You hardly do Haldane justice. Your allusion to his former passion
+should remind you that he still possesses the same ardent and impetuous
+nature, out it is under control. You cannot return his deep, yet
+unobtrusive, love, and, as the world is constituted, it is probably well
+for you that this is true; but I cannot bear that it should have no
+better reward than your last rather contemptuous allusion."
+
+"Forgive me, auntie; I did not imagine that he felt as you seem to
+think. Indeed, in my happiness and preoccupation, I have scarcely
+thought of him at all. His love has, in truth, been unobtrusive. So
+scrupulously has he kept it from my notice that I had thought and hoped
+that it had but little place in his mind. But if you are right, I am
+very, very sorry. Why is the waste of these precious heart-treasures
+permitted?" and gathering tears attested her sincerity.
+
+"That is an old, old question, which the world has never answered. The
+scientists tell us that by a law of nature no force is ever lost. If
+this be true in the physical world, it certainly should be in the
+spiritual. I also believe that an honest, unselfish love can enrich the
+heart that gives it, even though it receives no other reward. But you
+have no occasion to blame yourself, Laura. It is one of those things
+which never could have been helped. Besides, Haldane is serving a Master
+who is pledged to shape seeming evils for his good. I had no thought of
+speaking of him at all, only your remark seemed so like injustice that I
+could not be silent. In the future, moreover, you may do something for
+him. Society is too unrelenting, and does not sufficiently recognize the
+struggle he has made, and is yet making; and he is so morbidly sensitive
+that he will not take anything that even looks like social alms. You
+will be in a position to help him toward the recognition which he
+deserves, for I should be sorry to see him become a lonely and isolated
+man. Of course, you will have to do this very carefully, but your own
+graceful tact will best guide you in this matter. I only wish you to
+appreciate the brave fight he is making and the character he is forming,
+and not to think of him merely as a commonplace, well-meaning man, who
+is at last trying to do right, and who will be fairly content with life
+if he can secure his bread and butter."
+
+"I will remember what you say, and do my very best," said Laura
+earnestly, "for I do sincerely respect Mr. Haldane for his efforts to
+retrieve the past, and I should despise myself did I not appreciate the
+delicate consideration he has shown for me if he has such feelings as
+you suppose. Auntie!" she exclaimed after a moment, a sudden light
+breaking in upon her, "Mr. Haldane is your knight."
+
+"And a very plain, prosaic knight, no doubt, he seems to you."
+
+"I confess that he does, and yet when I think of it I admit that he has
+fought his way up against tremendous odds. Indeed, his present position
+in contrast with what he was involves so much hard fighting that I can
+only think of him as one of those plain, rugged men who have risen from
+the ranks."
+
+"Look for the plain and rugged characteristics when he next calls," said
+Mrs. Arnot quietly. "One would have supposed that such a rugged nature
+would have interposed some of his angles in your way."
+
+"Forgive me, auntie; I am inclined to think that I know very little
+about your knight; but it is natural that I should much prefer my own.
+Your knight is like one of those remorseful men of the olden time who,
+partly from faith and partly in penance for past misdeeds, dons a suit
+of plain heavy iron armor, and goes away to parts unknown to fight the
+infidel. My knight is clad in shining steel; nor is the steel less true
+because overlaid with a filagree of gold; and he will make the world
+better not by striking rude and ponderous blows, but by teaching it
+something of his own fair courtesy and his own rich culture."
+
+"Your description of Haldane is very fanciful and a little far-fetched,"
+said Mrs. Arnot, laughing; "should I reply in like vein I would only add
+that I believe that he will henceforth keep the 'white cross' on his
+knightly mantle unstained. Already he seems to have won a place in that
+ancient and honorable order established so many centuries ago, the
+members of which were entitled to inscribe upon their shields the
+legend, 'He that ruleth his own spirit is better than he that taketh a
+city.' But we are carrying this fanciful imagery too far, and had better
+drop it altogether. I know that you will do for Haldane all that womanly
+delicacy permits, and that is all I wish. Mr. Beaumont's course toward
+you commands my entire respect. He long since asked both your uncle's
+consent and mine to pay you his addresses, and while we, of course, gave
+our approval, we have left you wholly free to follow the promptings of
+your own heart. In the world's estimation, Laura, it will be a brilliant
+alliance for each party; but my prayer shall be that it may be a happy
+and sympathetic union, and that you may find an unfailing and increasing
+content in each other's society. Nothing can compensate for the absence
+of a warm, kind heart, and the nature that is without it is like a home
+without a hearth-stone and a fire; the larger and more stately it is,
+the colder and more cheerless it seems."
+
+Laura understood her aunt's allusion to her own bitter disappointment,
+and she almost shivered at the possibility of meeting a like experience.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLVIII
+
+MRS. ARNOT'S KNIGHT
+
+
+It will not be supposed that Haldane was either blind or indifferent
+during the long months in which Beaumont, like a skilful engineer, was
+making his regular approaches to the fair lady whom he would win. He
+early foresaw what appeared to him would be the inevitable result, and
+yet, in spite of all his fortitude, and the frequency with which he
+assured himself that it was natural, that it was best, that it was
+right, that this peerless woman should wed a man of Beaumont's position
+and culture, still that gentleman's assured deliberate advance was like
+the slow and torturing contraction of the walls of that terrible chamber
+in the Inquisition which, by an imperceptible movement, closed in upon
+and crushed the prisoner. For a time he felt that he could not endure
+the pain, and he grew haggard under it.
+
+"What's the matter, my boy?" said Mr. Growther abruptly to him one
+evening. "You look as if something was a-gnawin' and a-eatin' your very
+heart out."
+
+He satisfied his old friend by saying that he did not feel well, and
+surely one sick at heart as he was might justly say this.
+
+Mr. Growther immediately suggested as remedies all the drugs he had ever
+heard of, and even volunteered to go after them; but Haldane said with a
+smile,
+
+"I would not survive if I took a tenth part of the medicines you have
+named, and not one of them would do me any good. I think I'll take a
+walk instead."
+
+Mr. Growther thought a few moments, and muttered to himself, "What a
+cussed old fool I've been to think that rhubob and jallup could touch
+his case! He's got something on his mind," and with a commendable
+delicacy he forbore to question and pry.
+
+Gradually, however, Haldane obtained patience and then strength to meet
+what seemed inevitable, and to go forward with the strong, measured
+tread of a resolute soldier.
+
+While passing through his lonely and bitter conflict he learned the
+value and significance of that ancient prophecy, "He is despised and
+rejected of men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and we hid,
+as it were, our faces from him." How long, long ago God planned and
+purposed to win the sympathy and confidence of the suffering by coming
+so close to them in like experience that they could feel sure--yes,
+know--that he felt with them and for them.
+
+Never before had the young man so fully realized how vital a privilege
+it was to be a disciple of Christ--to be near to him--and enjoy what
+resembled a companionship akin to that possessed by those who followed
+him up and down the rugged paths of Judea and Galilee.
+
+When, at last, Laura's engagement became a recognized fact, he received
+the intelligence as quietly as the soldier who is ordered to take and
+hold a position that will long try his fortitude and courage to the
+utmost.
+
+As for Laura, the weeks that followed her engagement were like a
+beautiful dream, but one that was created largely by the springing hopes
+and buoyancy of youth, and the witchery of her own vivid imagination.
+The springtime had come again, and the beauty and promise of her own
+future seemed reflected in nature. Every day she took long drives into
+the country with her lover, or made expeditions to picture galleries in
+New York; again, they would visit public parks or beautiful private
+grounds in which the landscape gardener had lavished his art. She lived
+and fairly revelled in a world of beauty, and for the time it
+intoxicated her with delight.
+
+There was also such a chorus of congratulation that she could not help
+feeling complacent. Society indorsed her choice so emphatically and
+universally that she was sure she had made no mistake. She was caused to
+feel that she had carried off the richest prize ever known in Hillaton,
+and she was sufficiently human to be elated over the fact.
+
+Nor was the congratulation all on one side. Society was quite as
+positive that Beaumont had been equally fortunate, and there were some
+that insisted that he had gained the richer prize. It was known that
+Laura had considerable property in her own name, and it was the general
+belief that she would eventually become heiress of a large part of the
+colossal fortune supposed to be in the possession of Mr. and Mrs. Arnot.
+In respect to character, beauty, accomplishments-in brief, the minor
+considerations in the world's estimation-it was admitted by all that
+Laura had few superiors. Mr. Beaumont's parents were lavish in the
+manifestations of their pleasure and approval. And thus it would seem
+that these two lives were fitly joined by the affinity of kindred
+tastes, by the congenial habits of equal rank, and by universal
+acclamation.
+
+Gradually, however, the glamour thrown around her new relationship by
+its very novelty, by unnumbered congratulations, and the excitement
+attendant on so momentous a step in a young lady's life, began to pass
+away. Every fine drive in the country surrounding the city had been
+taken again and again; all the fine galleries had been visited, and the
+finer pictures admired and dwelt upon in Mr. Beaumont's refined and
+quiet tones, until there was little more to be said. Laura had come to
+know exactly why her favorite paintings were beautiful, and precisely
+the marks which gave them value. The pictures remained just as
+beautiful, but she became rather tired of hearing Mr. Beaumont analyze
+them. Not that she could find any fault with what he said, but it was
+the same thing over and over again. She became, slowly and unpleasantly,
+impressed with the thought that, while Mr. Beaumont would probably take
+the most correct view of every object that met his eye, he would always
+take the same view, and, having once heard him give an opinion, she
+could anticipate on all future occasions just what he would say. We all
+know, by disagreeable experience, that no man is so wearisome as he who
+repeats himself over and over again without variation, no matter how
+approved his first utterance may have been. Beaumont was remarkably
+gifted with the power of forming a correct judgment of the technical
+work of others in all departments of art and literature, and to the
+perfecting of this accurate aesthetic taste he had given the energies of
+his maturer years. He had carefully scrutinized in every land all that
+the best judges considered pre-eminently great and beautiful, but his
+critical powers were those of an expert, a connoisseur, only. His mind
+had no freshness or originality. He had very little imagination. Laura's
+spirit would kindle before a beautiful painting until her eyes suffused
+with tears. He would observe coolly, with an eye that measured and
+compared everything with the received canons of art, and if the drawing
+and coloring were correct he was simply--satisfied.
+
+Again, he had a habit of forgetting that he had given his artistic views
+upon a subject but a brief time before, and would repeat them almost
+word for word, and often his polished sentences and quiet monotone were
+as wearisome as a thrice-told tale.
+
+As time wore on the disagreeable thought began to suggest itself to
+Laura that the man himself had culminated; that he was perfected to the
+limit of his nature, and finished off. She foresaw with dread that she
+might reach a point before very long when she would know all that he
+knew, or, at least, all that he kept in his mind, and that thereafter
+everything would be endless repetition to the end of life. He dressed
+very much the same every day; his habits were very uniform and
+methodical. In the world's estimation he was, indeed, a bright luminary,
+and he certainly resembled the heavenly bodies in the following
+respects. Laura was learning that she could calculate his orbit to a
+nicety, and know beforehand what he would do and say in given
+conditions. When she came to know him better she might be able to trace
+the unwelcome resemblance still further, in the fact that he did not
+seem to be progressing toward anything, but was going round and round a
+habitual circle of thought and action, with himself as the centre of his
+universe.
+
+Laura resisted the first and infrequent coming of these thoughts, as if
+they were suggestions of the evil one; but, in spite of all effort, all
+self-reproach, they would return. Sometimes as little a thing as an
+elegant pose--so perfect, indeed, as to suggest that it had been studied
+and learned by heart years ago--would occasion them, and the happy girl
+began to sigh over a faint foreboding of trouble.
+
+By no word or thought did she ever show him what was passing in her
+mind, and she would have to show such thoughts plainly before he would
+even dream of their existence, for no man ever more thoroughly believed
+in himself than did Auguste Beaumont. He was satisfied he had learned
+the best and most approved way of doing everything, and as his action
+was always the same, it was, therefore, always right. Moreover, Laura
+eventually divined, while calling with him on his parents, that the
+greatest heresy and most aggravated offence that any one could be guilty
+of in the Beaumont mansion would be to find fault with Auguste. It would
+be a crime for which neither reason nor palliation could be found.
+
+Thus the prismatic hues which had surrounded this man began to fade, and
+Laura, who had hoped to escape the prose of life, was reluctantly
+compelled to admit to herself at times that she found her lover
+tiresomely prosy and "splendidly null."
+
+In the meantime Haldane had finished the studies of his second year at
+the medical college, and had won the respect of his instructors by his
+careful attention to the lectures, and by a certain conscientious,
+painstaking manner, rather than by the display of any striking or
+brilliant qualities.
+
+One July evening, before taking his summer vacation, he called on Mrs.
+Arnot. The sky in the west was so threatening, and the storm came on so
+rapidly, that Mr. Beaumont did not venture down to the city, and Laura,
+partly to fill a vacant hour, and partly to discover wherein the man of
+to-day, of whom her aunt could speak in such high terms, differed from
+the youth that she, even as an immature girl, despised, determined to
+give Haldane a little close observation. When he entered she was at the
+piano, practicing a very difficult and intricate piece of music that
+Beaumont had recently brought to her, and he said:
+
+"Please do not cease playing. Music, which is a part of your daily fare,
+is to me a rarely tasted luxury, for you know that in Hillaton there are
+but few public concerts even in winter."
+
+She gave him a glance of genuine sympathy, as she remembered that only
+at a public concert where he could pay his way to an unobtrusive seat
+could he find opportunity to enjoy that which was a part of her daily
+life. In no parlor save her aunt's could he enjoy such refining
+pleasures, and for a reason that she knew well he had rarely availed
+himself of the privilege. Then another thought followed swiftly: "Surely
+a man so isolated and cut off from these aesthetic influences which Mr.
+Beaumont regards as absolutely essential, must have become uncouth and
+angular in his development." The wish to discover how far this was true
+gave to her observation an increasing zest. She generously resolved,
+however, to give him as rich a musical banquet as it was in her power to
+furnish, if his eye and manner asked for it.
+
+"Please continue what you were playing," he added, "it piques my
+curiosity."
+
+As the musical intricacy which gave the rich but tangled fancies of a
+master-mind proceeded, his brow knit in perplexity, and at its close he
+shook his head and remarked:
+
+"That is beyond me. Now and then I seemed to catch glimpses of meaning,
+and then all was obscure again."
+
+"It is beyond me, too," said Mrs. Arnot with a laugh. "Come, Laura, give
+us something simple. I have heard severely classical and intricate music
+so long that I am ready to welcome even 'Auld lang syne.'"
+
+"I also will enjoy a change to something old and simple," said Laura,
+and her fingers glided into a selection which Haldane instantly
+recognized as Steibelt's Storm Rondo.
+
+As Laura glanced at him she saw his deepening color, and then it
+suddenly flashed upon her when she had first played that music for him,
+and her own face flushed with annoyance at her forgetfulness. After
+playing it partly through she turned to her music-stand in search of
+something else, but Haldane said:
+
+"Please finish the rondo, Miss Romeyn;" adding, with a frank laugh, "You
+have, no doubt, forgotten it; but you once, by means of this music, gave
+me one of the most deserved and wholesome lessons I ever received."
+
+"Your generous acknowledgment of a fancied mistake at that time should
+have kept me from blunders this evening," she replied in a pained tone.
+
+With a steady glance that held her eyes he said very quietly, and almost
+gently:
+
+"You have made no blunder, Miss Romeyn. I do not ignore the past, nor do
+I wish it to be ignored with painstaking care. I am simply trying to
+face it and overcome it as I might an enemy. I may be wrong, for you
+know I have had little chance to become versed in the ways of good
+society; but it appears to me that it would be better even for those who
+are to spend but a social hour together that they should be free from
+the constraint which must exist when there is a constant effort to shun
+delicate or dangerous ground. Please finish the rondo; and also please
+remember that the ice is not thin here and there," he added with a
+smile.
+
+Laura caught her aunt's glance, and the significant lighting up of her
+face, and, with an answering smile, she said:
+
+"If you will permit me to change the figure, I will suggest that you
+have broken the ice so completely that I shall take you at your word,
+and play and sing just what you wish;" and, bent upon giving the young
+man all the pleasure she could, she exerted her powers to the utmost in
+widely varied selections; and while she saw that his technical knowledge
+was limited, it was clearly evident that he possessed a nature
+singularly responsive to musical thoughts and effects; indeed, she found
+a peculiar pleasure and incentive in glancing at his face from time to
+time, for she saw reflected there the varied characteristics of the
+melody. But once, as she looked up to see how he liked an old English
+ballad, she caught that which instantly brought the hot blood into her
+face.
+
+Haldane had forgotten himself, forgotten that she belonged to another,
+and, under the spell of the old love song, had dropped his mask. She saw
+his heart in his gaze of deep, intense affection more plainly than
+spoken words could have revealed it.
+
+He started slightly as he saw her conscious blush, turned pale instead
+of becoming red and embarrassed, and, save a slight compression of his
+lips, made no other movement. She sang the concluding verse of the
+ballad in a rather unsympathetic manner, and, after a light instrumental
+piece devoid of sentiment, rose from the piano.
+
+Haldane thanked her with frank heartiness, and then added in a playful
+manner that, although the concert was over, he was weather-bound on
+account of the shower, and would therefore try to compensate them for
+giving him shelter by relating a curious story which was not only
+founded on fact, but all fact; and he soon had both of his auditors
+deeply interested in one of those strange and varied experiences which
+occasionally occur in real life, and which he had learned through his
+mission class. The tale was so full of lights and shadows that now it
+provoked to laughter, and again almost moved the listeners to tears.
+While the narrator made as little reference to himself as possible, he
+unconsciously and of necessity revealed how practically and vitally
+useful he was to the class among whom he was working. Partly to draw him
+out, and partly to learn more about certain characters in whom she had
+become interested, Mrs. Arnot asked after one and another of Haldane's
+"difficult cases." As his replies suggested inevitably something of
+their dark and revolting history, Laura again forgot herself so far as
+to exclaim:
+
+"How can you work among such people?"
+
+After the words were spoken she was already to wish that she had bitten
+her tongue out.
+
+"Christ worked among them," replied he gravely, and then he added, with
+a look of grateful affection toward Mrs. Arnot, "Besides, your aunt has
+taught me by a happy experience that there are some possibilities of a
+change for the better in 'such people.'"
+
+"Mr. Haldane," said Laura impetuously, and with a burning flush, "I
+sincerely beg your pardon. As you were speaking you seemed so like my
+aunt in refinement and character that you banished every other
+association from my mind."
+
+His face lighted up with a strong expression of pleasure, and he said:
+
+"I am glad that those words are so heartily uttered, and that there is
+no premeditation in them; for if in the faintest and furthest degree I
+can even resemble Mrs. Arnot, I shall feel that I am indeed making
+progress."
+
+"I shall say what is in my mind without any constraint whatever," said
+Mrs. Arnot. "Years ago, Egbert, when once visiting you in prison, to
+which you had been sent very justly, I said in effect, that in rising
+above yourself and your circumstances, you would realize my ideal of
+knighthood. You cannot know with what deep pleasure I tell you to-night
+that you are realizing this ideal even beyond my hopes."
+
+"Mrs. Arnot," replied Haldane, in a tone that trembled slightly, "I was
+justly sent to that prison, and to-night, no doubt, I should have been
+in some other prison-house of human justice--quite possibly," he added,
+in a low, shuddering tone, "in the prison-house of God's justice--if you
+had not come like an angel of mercy--if you had not borne with me,
+taught me, restrained me, helped me with a patience closely akin to
+Heaven's own. It is the hope and prayer of my life that I may some day
+prove how I appreciate all that you have done for me. But, see; the
+storm is over, as all storms will be in time. Good-night, and good-by,"
+and he lifted her hand to his lips in a manner that was at once so full
+of homage and gratitude, and also the grace of natural and unstudied
+action, that there came a rush of tears into the lady's eyes.
+
+Laura held out her hand and said: "Mr. Haldane, you cannot respect me
+more than you have taught me to respect you."
+
+He shook his head at these words, involuntarily intimating that she did
+not know, and never could, but departed without trusting himself to
+reply.
+
+The ladies sat quite a long time in silence. At length Laura remarked
+with a sigh:
+
+"Mr. Haldane is mistaken. The ice is thin here and there, but I had no
+idea that there were such depths beneath it"
+
+Mrs. Arnot did not reply at once, and when she did perhaps she had in
+mind other experiences than those of her young friend, for she only said
+in a low musing tone:
+
+"Yes, he is right. All storms will be over in time."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLIX
+
+A KNIGHTLY DEED
+
+
+The year previous Haldane had buried himself among the mountains of
+Maine, but he resolved to spend much of the present summer in the city
+of New York, studying such works of art as were within his reach,
+haunting the cool, quiet libraries, and visiting the hospitals, giving
+to the last, as a medical student, the most of his time. He found
+himself more lonely and isolated among the numberless strange faces than
+he had been in the northern forests. He also went to his native city for
+the purpose of visiting Dr. Marks, and as the family mansion was closed,
+took a room at the hotel. His old acquaintances stood far aloof at
+first, but when Dr. Marks carried him off with friendly violence to the
+parsonage, and kept him there as a welcome guest, those who had known
+him or his family concluded that they could shake hands with him, and
+many took pains to do so, and to congratulate him on the course he was
+taking. Dr. Marks' parsonage was emphatically the Interpreter's house to
+him, and after a brief visit he returned to New York more encouraged
+with the hope that he would eventually retrieve the past than ever he
+had been before.
+
+But events now occurred which promised to speedily blot out all
+possibility of an earthly future. In answer to his letter describing his
+visit to Dr. Marks, he received from Mrs. Arnot a brief note, saying
+that the warm weather had affected her very unfavorably, and that she
+was quite ill and had been losing strength for some weeks. On this
+ground he must pardon her brief reply. Her closing words were,
+"Persevere, Egbert. In a few years more the best homes in the land will
+be open to you, and you can choose your society from those who are
+honorable here and will be honored hereafter."
+
+There were marks of feebleness in the handwriting, and Haldane's anxiety
+was so strongly aroused in behalf of his friend that he returned to
+Hillaton at once, hoping, however, that since the heats of August were
+nearly over, the bracing breath of autumn would bring renewed strength.
+
+After being announced he was shown directly up to Mrs. Arnot's private
+parlor, and he found himself where, years before, he had first met his
+friend. The memory of the bright, vivacious lady who had then
+entertained him with a delicate little lunch, while she suggested how he
+might make his earliest venture out into the world successful, flashed
+into his mind, with thronging thoughts of all that had since occurred;
+but now he was pained to see that his friend reclined feebly on her
+lounge, and held out her hand without rising.
+
+"I am glad you have come," she said with quiet emphasis, "for your
+sympathy will be welcome, although, like others, you can do nothing for
+us in our trouble."
+
+"Mrs. Arnot," he exclaimed in a tone of deep distress, "you are not
+seriously ill?"
+
+"No," she replied, "that is not it. I'm better, or will be soon, I
+think. Laura, dear, light the gas, please, and Egbert can read the
+telegrams for himself. You once met my sister, Mrs. Poland, who resides
+in the South, I think."
+
+"Yes, I remember her very well. There was something about her face that
+haunted me for months afterward."
+
+"Amy was once very beautiful, but ill-health has greatly Changed her."
+
+In the dusk of the evening Haldane had not seen Laura and Mr. Beaumont,
+as he entered, and he now greeted them with a quiet bow; but Laura came
+and gave him her hand, saying:
+
+"We did not expect you to return so soon, Mr. Haldane."
+
+"After hearing that Mrs. Arnot was ill I could not rest till I had seen
+her, and I received her note only this morning."
+
+He now saw that both Laura's eyes and Mrs. Arnot's were red with
+weeping.
+
+The latter, in answer to his questioning, troubled face, said: "The
+yellow fever has broken out in the city where my sister resides. Her
+husband, Mr. Poland, has very important business interests there, which
+he could not drop instantly. She would not leave him, and Amy, her
+daughter, would not leave her mother. Indeed, before they were aware of
+their danger the disease had become epidemic, and Mr. Poland was
+stricken down. The first telegram is from my sister, and states this
+fact; the second there is from my niece, and it breaks my heart to read
+it," and she handed it to him and he read as follows:
+
+"The worst has happened. Father very low. Doctor gives little hope. I
+almost fear for mother's mind. The city in panic--our help
+leaving--medical attendance uncertain. It looks as if I should be left
+alone, and I helpless. What shall I do?"
+
+"Was there ever a more pathetic cry of distress?" said Mrs. Arnot, with
+another burst of grief. "Oh that I were strong and well, and I would fly
+to them at once."
+
+"Do you think I could do any good by going?" asked Laura, stepping
+forward eagerly, but very pale.
+
+"No," interposed Mr. Beaumont, with sharp emphasis; "you would only
+become an additional burden, and add to the horrors of the situation."
+
+"Mr. Beaumont is right; but you are a noble woman even to think of such
+a thing," said Haldane, and he gave her a look of such strong feeling
+and admiration that a little color came into her white cheeks.
+
+"She does not realize what she is saying," added Mr. Beaumont. "It would
+be certain death for an unacclimated Northener to go down there now."
+
+Laura grew very pale again. She had realized what she was saying, and
+was capable of the sacrifice; but the man who had recognized and
+appreciated her heroism was not the one who held her plighted troth.
+
+Paying no heed to Beaumont's last remark, Haldane snatched up the daily
+paper that lay upon the table, and turned hastily to a certain place for
+a moment, then, looking at his watch, exclaimed eagerly:
+
+"I can do it if not a moment is wasted. The express train for the South
+leaves in an hour, and it connects with all the through lines. Miss
+Romeyn, please write for me, on your card, an introduction to your
+cousin, Miss Poland, and I will present it, with the offer of my
+assistance, at the earliest possible moment."
+
+"Egbert, no!" said Mrs. Arnot, with strong emphasis, and rising from her
+couch, though so ill and feeble. "I will not permit you to sacrifice
+your life for comparative strangers."
+
+He turned and took her hand in both of his, and said:
+
+"Mrs. Arnot, there is no time for remonstrance, and it is useless. _I
+am going_, and no one shall prevent me." Then he added, in tones and
+with a look of affection which she never forgot, "Deeply as I regret
+this sad emergency, I would not, for ten times the value of my life,
+lose the opportunity it gives me. I can now show you a small part of my
+gratitude by serving those you love. Besides, as you say, that telegram
+is such a pathetic cry of distress that, were you all strangers, I would
+obey its unconscious command. But haste, the card!"
+
+"Egbert, you are excited; you do not realize what you are saying!" cried
+the agitated lady.
+
+He looked at her steadily for a moment, and then said, in a tone so
+quiet and firm that it ended all remonstrance, "I realize fully what I
+am doing, and it is my right to decide upon my own action. To you, at
+least, I never broke my word, and I assure you that I will go. Miss
+Romeyn, will you oblige me by instantly writing that card? Your aunt is
+not able to write it."
+
+His manner was so authoritative that Laura wrote with a trembling hand:
+
+"The bearer is a very dear friend of aunt's. How brave and noble
+a man he is you can learn from the fact that he comes to your aid now.
+In deepest sympathy and love,
+
+"LAURA."
+
+"Good-by, my dear, kind friend," said Haldane cheerily to Mrs. Arnot
+while Laura was writing; "you overrate the danger. I feel that I shall
+return again, and if I do not, there are many worse evils than dying."
+
+"Your mother," said Mrs. Arnot, with a low sob.
+
+"I shall write to her a long letter on the way and explain everything."
+
+"She will feel that it never can be explained."
+
+"I cannot help it," replied the young man resolutely; "I know that I am
+doing right, or my conscience is of no use to me whatever."
+
+Mrs. Arnot put her arms around his neck as if she were his mother, and
+said in low, broken tones:
+
+"God bless you, and go with you, my true knight; nay, let me call you my
+own dear son this once. I will thank you in heaven for all this, if not
+here," and then she kissed him again and again.
+
+"You have now repaid me a thousand-fold," he faltered, and then broke
+away.
+
+"Mr. Haldane," said Laura tearfully, as he turned to her, "Cousin Amy
+and I have been the closest friends from childhood, and I cannot tell
+you how deeply I appreciate your going to her aid. I could not expect a
+brother to take such a risk."
+
+Haldane felt that his present chance to look into Laura's face might be
+his last, and again, before he was aware, he let his eyes reveal all his
+heart. She saw as if written in them, "A brother might not be willing to
+take the risk, but I am."
+
+"Do I then render you a special service?" he asked, in a low tone.
+
+"You could not render me a greater one."
+
+"Why, this is better than I thought," he said. "How fortunate I was in
+coming this evening! There, please do not look so distressed. A soldier
+takes such risks as these every day, and never thinks of them. You have
+before you a happy life, Miss Laura, and I am very, very glad. Good
+courage, and good-by," and his manner now was frank, cheerful, and
+brotherly.
+
+She partly obeyed an impulse to speak, but checked it, and tremblingly
+bent her head; but the pressure she gave his hand meant more than he or
+even she herself understood at the time.
+
+"Good-by, Mr. Beaumont," he said, hurriedly. "I need not wish you
+happiness, since you already possess it;" and he hastened from the room
+and the house without once looking back.
+
+A moment later they heard his rapid resolute tread echoing from the
+stony pavement, but it speedily died away.
+
+Laura listened breathlessly at the window until the faintest sound
+ceased. She had had her wish. She had seen a man who was good enough and
+brave enough to face any danger to which he felt impelled by a chivalric
+sense of duty. She had seen a man depart upon as knightly an expedition
+as any of which she had ever read, but it was not her knight.
+
+"This young Haldane is a brave fellow, and I had no idea that there was
+so much of him," remarked Mr. Beaumont in his quiet and refined tones.
+"Really, take it all together, this has been a scene worthy of the brush
+of a great painter."
+
+"Oh, Auguste!" exclaimed Laura; "how can you look only on the aesthetic
+side of such a scene?" And she threw herself into a low chair and sobbed
+as if her heart would break.
+
+Mr. Beaumont was much perplexed, for he found that all of his elegant
+platitudes were powerless either to comfort or to soothe her.
+
+"Leave her with me," said Mrs. Arnot. "The excitements of the day have
+been too much for her. She will be better to-morrow."
+
+Mr. Beaumont was glad to obey. He had been accustomed from childhood to
+leave all disagreeable duties to others, and he thought that Laura had
+become a trifle hysterical. "A little lavender and sleep is all that she
+requires," he remarked to himself as he walked home in the starlight.
+"But, by Jove! she is more lovely in tears than in smiles."
+
+That he, Auguste Beaumont, should risk the loss of her and all his other
+possessions by exposing his precious person to a loathsome disease did
+not enter his mind.
+
+"Oh, auntie, auntie, I would rather have gone myself and died, than feel
+as I do to-night," sobbed Laura.
+
+"'Courage' was Egbert's last word to you, Laura," said Mrs. Arnot, "and
+courage and faith must be our watchwords now. We must act, too, and at
+once. Please tell your uncle I wish a draft for five hundred dollars
+immediately, and explain why. Then inclose it in a note to Egbert, and
+see that Michael puts it in his hands at the depot. Write to Egbert not
+to spare money where it may be of any use, or can secure any comfort. We
+cannot tell how your aunt Amy is situated, and money is always useful.
+We must telegraph to your Cousin Amy that a friend is coming. Let us
+realize what courage, prayer, and faith can accomplish. Action will do
+you good, Laura."
+
+The girl sprang to her feet and carried out her aunt's wishes with
+precision. That was the kind of "lavender" which her nature required.
+
+After writing all that her aunt dictated, she added on her own part:
+
+If the knowledge that I honor you above other men can sustain you, rest
+assured that this is true; if my sympathy and constant remembrance can
+lighten your burdens, know that you and those you serve will rarely be
+absent from my thoughts. You make light of your heroic act. To me it is
+a revelation. I did not know that men could be so strong and noble in
+our day. Whether such words are right or conventional, I have not even
+thought. My heart is full and I must speak them. That God may bless you,
+aid you in serving those I love so dearly, and return you in safety,
+will be my constant prayer.
+
+Auntie falters out one more message, "Tell Egbert that sister Amy's
+household have not our faith; suggest it, teach it if you can."
+Farewell, truest of friends. LAURA ROMEYN.
+
+Mr. Growther was asleep in his chair when Haldane entered, and he stole
+by him and made preparations for departure with silent celerity. Then,
+valise in hand, he touched his old friend, who started up, and
+exclaimed:
+
+"Lord a' massy, where did you come from, and where yer goin'? You look
+kinder sperit like. I say, am I awake? I was dreamin' you was startin'
+off to kill somebody."
+
+"Dreams go by contraries. It may be a long time before we meet again.
+But we shall have many a good talk over old times, if not here, why, in
+the better home, for your 'peaked-faced little chap' will surely lead
+you there," and he explained all in a few brief sentences. "And now, my
+kind, true friend, good-by. I thank you from my heart for the shelter
+you have given me, and for your stanch friendship when friends were so
+few. You have done all that you could to make a man of me, and now that
+you won't have time to quarrel with me about it, I tell you to your face
+that you are not a mean man. There are few larger-hearted, larger-souled
+men in this city," and before the bewildered old gentleman could reply,
+he was gone.
+
+"Lord a' massy, Lord a' massy," groaned Mr. Growther, "the bottom is
+jest fallin' out o' everything. If he dies with the yellow-jack I'll git
+to cussin' as bad as ever."
+
+Haldane found Mrs. Arnot's coachman at the depot with the letter Laura
+had written. As he read it his face flushed with the deepest pleasure.
+Having a few moments to spare, he pencilled hastily:
+
+"MISS ROMEYN--I have received from Michael the letter with the draft.
+Say to Mrs. Arnot I shall obey both the letter and spirit of her
+instructions. Let me add for myself that my best hopes are more than
+fulfilled. That you, who know all my past, could write such words seems
+like a heavenly dream. But I assure you that you overestimate both the
+character of my action and the danger. It is all plain, simple duty,
+which hundreds of men would perform as a matter of course. I ask but one
+favor, please look after Mr. Growther. He is growing old and feeble; I
+owe him so much--Mrs. Arnot will tell you. Yours--"
+
+"He couldn't write a word more, Miss, the train was a movin' when he
+jumped on," said Michael when he delivered the note.
+
+But that final word had for Laura no conventional meaning. She had long
+known that Haldane was, in truth, hers, and she had deeply regretted the
+fact, and would at any time have willingly broken the chain that bound
+him, had it been in her power. Would she break it to-night? Yes,
+unhesitatingly; but it would now cost her a pain to do so, which, at
+first, she would not understand. On that stormy July evening when she
+gave Haldane a little private concert she had obtained a glimpse of a
+manhood unknown to her before, and it was full of pleasing suggestion.
+To-night that same manhood which is at once so strong, and yet so
+unselfish and gentle, had stood out before her distinct and luminous in
+the light of a knightly deed, and she saw with the absoluteness of
+irresistible conviction that such a manhood was above and beyond all
+surface polish, all mere aesthetic culture, all earthly rank--that it
+was something that belonged to God, and partook of the eternity of his
+greatness and permanence.
+
+By the kindred and noble possibilities of her own womanly nature, she
+was of necessity deeply interested in such a man, having once recognized
+him; and now for weeks she must think of him as consciously serving her
+in the most knightly way and at the hourly risk of his life, and yet
+hoping for no greater reward than her esteem and respect. While she knew
+that he would have gone eagerly for her aunt's sake, and might have gone
+from a mere sense of duty, she had been clearly shown that the thought
+of serving her had turned his dangerous task into a privilege and a joy.
+Could she follow such a man daily and hourly with her thoughts, could
+she in vivid imagination watch his self-sacrificing efforts to minister
+to, and save those she loved, with only the cool, decorous interest that
+Mr. Beaumont would deem proper in the woman betrothed to himself? The
+future must answer this question.
+
+When Haldane had asked for a ticket to the southern city to which he was
+destined, the agent stared at him a moment and said:
+
+"Don't you know yellow fever is epidemic there?"
+
+"Yes," replied Haldane with such cold reserve of manner that no further
+questions were asked; but the fact that he, a medical student, had
+bought a ticket for the plague-stricken city was stated in the "Courier"
+the following morning. His old friend Mr. Ivison soon informed himself
+of the whole affair, and in a glowing letter of eulogy made it
+impossible for any one to charge that Mrs. Arnot had asked the young man
+to go to the aid of her relatives at such tremendous personal risk.
+Indeed it was clearly stated, with the unimpeachable Mr. Beaumont as
+authority, that she had entreated him not to go, and had not the
+slightest expectation of his going until he surprised her by his
+unalterable decision.
+
+After reading and talking over this letter, sustained as it had been by
+years of straightforward duty, even good society concluded that it could
+socially recognize and receive this man; and yet, as the old lady had
+remarked, there was still an excellent prospect that he would enter
+heaven before he found a welcome to the exclusive circles of Hillaton.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER L
+
+"O DREADED DEATH!"
+
+
+Haldane found time in the enforced pauses of his journey to write a long
+and affectionate letter to his mother, explaining all, and asking her
+forgiveness again, as he often had before. He also wrote to Mrs. Arnot a
+cheerful note, in which he tried to put his course in the most ordinary
+and matter-of-fact light possible, saying that as a medical student it
+was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.
+
+As he approached the infected city he had the train chiefly to himself,
+and he saw that the outgoing trains were full, and when at last he
+walked its streets it reminded him of a household of which some member
+is very ill, or dead, and the few who were moving about walked as if
+under a sad constraint and gloom. On most faces were seen evidences of
+anxiety and trouble, while a few were reckless.
+
+Having obtained a carriage, he was driven to Mr. Poland's residence in a
+suburb. He dismissed the carriage at the gate, preferring to quietly
+announce himself. The sultry day was drawing to a close as he walked up
+the gravelled drive that led to the house. Not even the faintest zephyr
+stirred the luxuriant tropical foliage that here and there shadowed his
+path, and yet the stillness and quiet of nature did not suggest peace
+and repose so much as it did death. The motionless air, heavily laden
+with a certain dead sweetness of flowers from the neighboring garden,
+might well bring to mind the breathless silence and the heavy atmosphere
+of the chamber in which the lifeless form and the fading funeral wreath
+are perishing together.
+
+So oppressed was Haldane he found himself walking softly and mounting
+the steps of the piazza with a silent tread, as if he were in truth
+approaching the majesty of death. Before he could ring the bell there
+came from the parlor a low, sad prelude, played on a small reed organ
+that had been built in the room, and then a contralto voice of peculiar
+sweetness sang the following words with such depth of feeling that one
+felt that they revealed the innermost emotion of the heart:
+
+O priceless life! warm, throbbing life, With thought and love and
+passion rife, I cling to thee. Thou art an isle in the ocean wide; Thou
+art a barque above the tide; How vague and void is all beside! I cling
+to thee.
+
+O dreaded death! cold, pallid death, Despair is in thy icy breath; I
+shrink from thee. What victims wilt thou next enroll? Thou hast a terror
+for my soul Which will nor reason can control; I shrink from thee.
+
+Then followed a sound that was like a low sob. This surely was Amy,
+Laura's cousin-friend, and already she had won the whole sympathy of his
+heart.
+
+After ringing the bell he heard her step, and then she paused, as he
+rightly surmised, to wipe away the thickly falling tears. He was almost
+startled when she appeared before him, for the maiden had inherited the
+peculiar and striking beauty of her mother. Sorrow and watching had
+brought unusual pallor to her cheeks; but her eyes were so large, so
+dark and intense, that they suggested spirit rather than flesh and
+blood.
+
+"I think that this is Miss Poland," commenced Haldane in a manner that
+was marked by both sympathy and respect, and he was about to hand her
+his card of introduction, when she stepped eagerly forward and took his
+hand, saying: "You are Mr. Haldane. I know it at a glance."
+
+"Yes, and wholly at your service."
+
+Still retaining his hand, she looked for a second into his face, as if
+she would read his soul and gauge the compass of his nature; so intent
+and penetrating was her gaze, that Haldane felt that if there had been
+any wavering or weakness on his part she would have known it as truly as
+himself.
+
+Her face suddenly lighted up with gratitude and friendliness, and she
+said, earnestly:
+
+"I _do_ thank you for coming. I had purposed asking you not to take
+so great a risk for us, but to return; for, to be frank with you, our
+physician has told me that your risk is terribly great; but I see that
+you are one that would not turn back."
+
+"You are right, Miss Poland." Then he added, with a frank smile, "There
+is nothing terrible to me in the risk you speak of. I honestly feel it a
+privilege to come to your aid, and I have but one request to make: that
+you will let me serve you in any way and every way possible. By any
+hesitancy and undue delicacy in this respect you will greatly pain me."
+
+"Oh!" she exclaimed in a low and almost passionate tone, "I am so glad
+you have come, for I was almost desperate."
+
+"Your father?" asked Haldane very gravely.
+
+"He is more quiet, and I try to think he is better, but doctor won't say
+that he is. Ah, there he is coming now."
+
+A carriage drove rapidly to the door, and the physician sprang up the
+steps as if the hours were short for the increasing pressure of his
+work.
+
+"Miss Amy, why are you here yet? I hoped that you and your little sister
+were on your way to the mountains," he said, taking her hand.
+
+"Please do not speak of it again," she replied. "I cannot leave father
+and mother, and Bertha, you know, is too young and nervous a child to be
+forced to go away alone. We must all remain together, and hope the best
+from your skill."
+
+"God knows I'm doing all in my power to save my dear old friend Poland,"
+said the physician huskily, and then he shook his head as if he had
+little hope. "How is he now?"
+
+"Better, I think. Dr. Orton, this is the friend of whom I spoke, Mr.
+Haldane."
+
+"You have always lived at the North?" asked the physician, looking the
+young man over with a quick glance.
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"Do you realize the probable consequences of this exposure to one not
+acclimated?"
+
+"Dr. Orton, I am a medical student, and I have come to do my duty, which
+here will be to carry out strictly your directions. I have only one deep
+cause for anxiety, and that is that I may be taken with the disease
+before I can be of much use. So please give me work at once."
+
+"Give me your hand, old fellow. You do our profession credit, if not
+fully fledged. You are right, we must all do what we can while we can,
+for the Lord only knows how many hours are left to any of us. But, Amy,
+my dear, it makes me feel like praying and swearing in the same breath
+to find you still in this infernal city. A friend promised to call this
+morning and take you and your sister away."
+
+"We cannot go."
+
+"Well, well, as long as the old doctor is above ground he will try to
+take care of you; and this young gentleman can be invaluable if he can
+hold on for a while before following too general a fashion. Come, sir, I
+will install you as nurse at once."
+
+"Doctor, Doctor Orton, what have you brought for me?" cried a childish
+voice and a little girl, fair and blue-eyed, came fluttering down the
+stairs, intercepting them on the way to Mr. Poland's room.
+
+"Ah! there's my good little fairy," said the kind-hearted man, taking
+her in his arms and kissing her. "Look in my pockets, little one, and
+see what you can find."
+
+With delightful unconsciousness of the shadows around her the child
+fumbled in his pockets and soon pulled out a picture-book.
+
+"No candy yet?" she exclaimed in disappointment.
+
+"No candy at all, Bertha, nothing but good plain food till next winter.
+You make sure of this, I suppose," he said significantly to the elder
+sister.
+
+"Yes, as far as possible. I will wait for you here."
+
+They ascended to a large airy room on the second floor. Even to Haldane,
+Mr. Poland appeared far down in the dark valley; but he was in that
+quiet and conscious state which follows the first stage of the fever,
+which in his case, owing to his vigorous frame, had been unusually
+prolonged.
+
+Without a word the doctor felt the sick man's pulse, who bent upon him
+his questioning eyes. From the further side of the bed, Mrs. Poland,
+sitting feebly in her chair, also fixed upon the physician the same
+intense searching gaze that Haldane had sustained from the daughter. Dr.
+Orton looked for a moment into her pale, thin face, which might have
+been taken as a model for agonized anxiety, and then looked away again,
+for he could not endure its expression.
+
+"Orton, tell me the truth; no wincing now," said Mr. Poland in low,
+thick utterance.
+
+"My dear old friend, it cuts me to the heart to say it, but if you have
+anything special that you would like to say to your family I think you
+had better say it now."
+
+"Then I am going to die," said the man and both his tone and face were
+full of awe; while poor Mrs. Poland looked as if _in extremis_ herself.
+
+"This return and rapid rise of fever at this late day looks very bad,"
+said the physician, gloomily, "and you insisted on knowing the truth."
+
+"You ever were an honest friend, Orton; I know you have done your best
+for me, and, although worked to death, have come to see me often. I
+leave my family in your charge. God grant I may be the only one to
+suffer. May I see the children?"
+
+"Yes, a few moments; but I do not wish them to be in this room long."
+
+"Don't go just yet, Orton. I--to tell you the truth, I feel that dying
+is rather serious business, and you and I have always taken life
+somewhat as a good joke. Call the girls."
+
+They came and stood by their mother. Amy was beyond tears, but little
+Bertha could not understand it, and with difficulty could be kept from
+clambering upon the bed to her father.
+
+"Amy's naughty, she keeps me away from you, papa. I've been wanting to
+see you all day, and Amy won't let me."
+
+The doctor and Haldane retired to the hallway.
+
+There was an unutterable look in the dying man's eyes as he fixed them
+on the little group.
+
+"How can I leave you? how can I leave you?" he groaned.
+
+At this the child began to cry, and again struggled to reach her father.
+She was evidently his idol, and he prayed, "Wherever I go--whatever
+becomes of me, God grant I may see that child again."
+
+"Mother," he said (he always called his wife by that endearing name),
+"I'm sure you are mistaken. I want to see you all again with such
+intense longing that I feel I shall. This life can't be all. My hearts
+revolts at it. It's fiendish cruelty to tear asunder forever those who
+love as we do. As I told you before, I'm going to take my chances--with
+the publican. Oh! that some one could make a prayer! Orton!" he called
+feebly.
+
+The doctor entered, leaving the door open.
+
+"Couldn't you offer a short prayer? You may think it unmanly in me, but
+I am in sore straits, and I want to see these loved ones again."
+
+"Haldane," cried Dr. Orton, "here, offer a prayer, for God's sake, if
+you can. I feel as if I were choking."
+
+Without any hesitancy or mannerism the Christian man knelt at Mr.
+Poland's bedside and offered as simple and natural a prayer as he would
+have spoken to the Divine Man in person had he gone to him in Judea,
+centuries ago, in behalf of a friend. His faith was so absolute that he
+that was petitioned became a living presence to those who listened.
+
+"God bless you, whoever you are," said the sick man. "Oh, that does me
+good! It's less dark. It seems to me that I've got hold of a hand that
+can sustain me."
+
+"Bress de Lord!" ejaculated an old negress who sat in a distant corner.
+
+"I install this young man as your nurse to-night," said Dr. Orton,
+huskily; "I'll be here in the morning. Come, little girls, go now."
+
+"We shall meet again, Amy; we shall meet again, Bertie, darling;
+remember papa said it and believed it."
+
+Haldane saw a strange blending of love and terror in Amy's eyes as she
+led her little and bewildered sister from the room.
+
+Dr. Orton took him one side and rapidly gave his directions. "His
+pulse," he said, "indicates that he may be violent during the night; if
+so, induce Mrs. Poland to retire, if possible. I doubt if he lives till
+morning." He then told Haldane of such precautions as he should take for
+his own safety, and departed.
+
+The horrors of that night cannot be portrayed. As the fever rose higher
+and higher, all evidence of the kind, loving husband and father
+perished, and there remained only a disease-tortured body. The awful
+black vomit soon set in. The strong physical nature in its dying throes
+taxed Haldane's powerful strength to the utmost, and only by constant
+effort and main force could he keep the sufferer in his bed. Mrs. Poland
+and the old colored woman who assisted her would have been totally
+unequal to the occasion. Indeed, the wife was simply appalled and
+overwhelmed with grief and horror, for the poor man, unconscious of all
+save pain, and in accordance with a common phase of the disease, filled
+the night with unearthly cries and shrieks. But before the morning
+dawned, instead of tossing and delirium there was the calm serenity of
+death.
+
+As Haldane composed the form for its last sleep he said:
+
+"My dear Mrs. Poland, your faithful watch is ended, your husband suffers
+no more; now, surely you will yield to my entreaty and go to your room.
+I will see that everything is properly attended to."
+
+The poor woman was bending over her husband's ashes, almost as
+motionless as they, and her answer was a low cry as she fell across his
+body in a swoon.
+
+Haldane lifted her gently up, and carried her from the room.
+
+Crouching at the door of the death-chamber, her eyes dilated with
+horror, he found poor Amy.
+
+"Is mother dead also?" she gasped.
+
+"No, Miss Amy. She only needs your care to revive speedily. Please lead
+the way to your mother's apartment."
+
+"I think there is a God, and that he sent you" she whispered.
+
+"You are right," he replied, in the natural hearty tone which is so
+potent in reassuring the terror-stricken. "Courage, Miss Amy; all will
+be well at last. Now let me help you like a brother, and when your
+mother revives, I will give her something to make her sleep; I then wish
+you to sleep also."
+
+The poor lady revived after a time, and tried to rise that she might
+return to her husband's room, but fell back in utter weakness.
+
+"Mrs. Poland," said Haldane gently, "you can do no good there. You must
+live for your children now."
+
+She soon was sleeping under the influence of an opiate.
+
+"Will you rest, too, Miss Amy?" asked Haldane.
+
+"I will try," she faltered; but her large, dark eyes looked as if they
+never would close again.
+
+Returning to the room over which so deep a hush had fallen, Haldane gave
+a few directions to the old negress whom he left in charge, and then
+sought the rest he so greatly needed himself.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER LI
+
+"O PRICELESS LIFE!"
+
+
+When Haldane came down the following morning he found Bertha playing on
+the piazza as unconscious of the loss of her father as the birds singing
+among the trees of their master. Amy soon joined them, and Haldane saw
+that her eyes had the same appealing and indescribable expression, both
+of sadness and terror, reminding one of some timid and beautiful animal
+that had been brought to bay by an enemy that was feared inexpressibly,
+but from which there seemed no escape.
+
+He took her hand with a strong and reassuring pressure.
+
+"Oh," she exclaimed with a slight shudder, "how can the sun shine? The
+birds, too, are singing as if there were no death and sorrow in the
+world."
+
+"Only a perfect faith, Miss Amy, can enable us, who do know there is
+death and sorrow, to follow their example."
+
+"It's all a black mystery to me," she replied, turning away.
+
+"So it was to me once."
+
+An old colored man, the husband of the negress who had assisted Haldane
+in his watch, now appeared and announced breakfast.
+
+It was a comparatively silent meal, little Bertha doing most of the
+talking. Amy would not have touched a mouthful had it not been for
+Haldane's persuasion.
+
+As soon as Bertha had finished, she said to Haldane:
+
+"Amy told me that you did papa ever so much good last evening: now I
+want to see him right away."
+
+"Does she not know?" asked Haldane in a low tone.
+
+Amy shook her head. "It's too awful. What can I tell her?" she faltered.
+
+"It is indeed inexpressibly sad, but I think I can tell the child
+without its seeming awful to her, and yet tell her the truth," he
+replied. "Shall I try to explain?"
+
+"Yes, and let me listen, too, if you can rob the event of any of its
+unutterable horror."
+
+"Will Bertie come and listen to me if I will tell her about papa?"
+
+The child climbed into his lap at once, and turned her large blue eyes
+up to his in perfect faith.
+
+"Don't you remember that papa spoke last night of leaving you; but said
+you would surely meet again?"
+
+At this the child's lip began to quiver, and she said: "But papa always
+comes and kisses me good-by before he goes away."
+
+"Perhaps he did, Bertie, when you were asleep in your crib last night."
+
+"Oh yes, now I'm sure he did if he's gone away, 'cause I 'member he once
+woke me up kissing me good-by."
+
+"I think he kissed you very softly, and so you didn't wake. Our dear
+Saviour, Jesus, came last night, and papa went away with him. But he
+loves you just as much as ever, and he isn't sick any more, and you will
+surely see him again."
+
+"Do you think he will bring me something nice when he comes?"
+
+"When you see him again he will have for you, Bertie, more beautiful
+things than you ever saw before in all your life, but it may be a long
+time before you see him."
+
+The child slipped down from his knees quite satisfied and full of
+pleasant anticipation, and went back to her play on the piazza.
+
+"Do you believe all that?" asked Amy, looking as if Bertha had been told
+a fairy tale.
+
+"I do, indeed. I have told the child what I regard as the highest form
+of the truth, though expressed in simple language. Miss Amy, I know that
+your father was ever kind to you. Did he ever turn coldly away from any
+earnest appeal of yours?"
+
+"Never, never," cried the girl, with a rush of tears.
+
+"And can you believe that his Heavenly Father turned from his touching
+appeal last night? Christ said to those who were trusting in him, 'I
+will come again and receive you unto myself; that where I am there ye
+may be also.' As long as your father was conscious, he was clinging to
+that divine hand that has never failed one true believer in all these
+centuries. Surely, Miss Amy, your own reason tells you that the poor
+helpless form that we must bury today is not your father. The genial
+spirit, the mind that was a power out in the world, the soul with its
+noble and intense affections and aspirations--these made the man that
+was your father. Therefore I say with truth that the man, the
+imperishable part, has gone away with him who loved humanity, and who
+has prepared a better place for us than this earth can ever be under the
+most favoring circumstances. You can understand that the body is but the
+changing, perishing shadow.
+
+"When you compare the poor, disease-shattered house in yonder room, with
+the regal spirit that dwelt within it, when you compare that prostrate
+form--which, like a fallen tree in the forest, is yielding to the
+universal law of change--with the strong, active, intelligent man that
+was your father, do not your very senses assure you that your father has
+gone away, and, as I told Bertha, you will surely see him again? It may
+seem to you that what I said about the good-by kiss was but a fiction to
+soothe the child, but in my belief it was not. Though we know with
+certainty so little of the detail of the life beyond, we have two good
+grounds on which to base reasonable conjecture. We know of God's love;
+we know your father's love; now what would be natural in view of these
+two facts? I think we can manage to keep Bertha from seeing that which
+is no longer her father, and thus every memory of him will be pleasant.
+We will leave intact the impression which he himself made when he acted
+consciously, for this which now remains is not himself at all."
+
+Further conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Dr. Orton; but
+Haldane saw that Amy had grasped at his words as one might try to catch
+a rope that was being lowered to him in some otherwise hopeless abyss.
+
+"I feared that such might be the end," said the doctor, gloomily, on
+learning from Haldane the events of the night; "it frequently is in
+constitutions like his." Then he went up and saw Mrs. Poland.
+
+The lady's condition gave him much anxiety, but he kept it to himself
+until they were alone. After leaving quieting medicines for her with
+Amy, and breaking utterly down in trying to say a few words of comfort
+to the fatherless girl, he motioned to Haldane to follow him.
+
+"Come with me to the city," he said, "and we will arrange for such
+disposal of the remains as is best."
+
+Having informed Amy of the nature of his errand, and promising to
+telegraph Mrs. Arnot, Haldane accompanied the physician to the business
+part of town.
+
+"You have been a godsend to them," said the kind-hearted old doctor,
+blowing his nose furiously. "This case comes a little nearer home than
+any that has yet occurred; but then the bottom is just falling out of
+everything, and it looks as if we would all go before we have a frost.
+It seems to me, though, that I can stand anything rather than see Amy
+go. She is engaged to a nephew of mine--as fine a fellow as there is in
+town, if I do say it, and I love the girl as if she were my own child.
+My nephew is travelling in Europe now, and I doubt if he knows the
+danger hanging over the girl. If anything happens to her it will about
+kill him, for he idolizes her, and well he may. I'm dreadfully anxious
+about them all. I fear most for Mrs. Poland's mind. She's a New England
+lady, as I suppose you know--wonderfully gifted woman, too much brain
+power for that fragile body of hers. Well, perhaps you did not
+understand all that was said last night; but Mrs. Poland has always been
+a great reader, and she has been carried away by the materialistic
+philosophy that's in fashion nowadays. Queer, isn't it? and she
+two-thirds spirit herself. Her husband and my best friend was as genial
+and whole-souled a man as ever lived, fond of a good dinner, fond of a
+joke, and fond of his family to idolatry. His wife had unbounded
+influence over him, or otherwise he might have been a little fast; but
+he always laughed at what he called her 'Yankee notions,' and said he
+would not accept her philosophy until she became a little more material
+herself. Poland was a square, successful business man, but I fear he did
+not lay up much. He was too open-hearted and free-handed--a typical
+Southerner I suppose you would say at the North, that is, those of you
+who don't think of us as all slave-drivers and slave-traders. I expect
+the North and South will have to have a good, square, stand-up fight
+before they understand each other."
+
+"God forbid!" ejaculated Haldane.
+
+"Well, I don't think you and I will ever quarrel. You may call us what
+you please if you will take care of Poland's family."
+
+"I have already learned to have a very thorough respect both for your
+head and heart, Doctor Orton."
+
+"I'm considerably worse than they average down here. But as I was
+telling you, Mrs. Poland was a New England woman, and to humor her her
+husband employed such white servants as could be got in the city, and
+poor trash they were most of the time. When the fever appeared they left
+instantly. Poland bought the old colored people who are there with the
+place, and gave them their freedom, and only they have stood by them.
+What they would have done last night if you had not come, God only
+knows. Poor Amy, poor Amy!" sighed the old doctor tempestuously; "she's
+the prettiest and pluckiest little girl in the city. She's half
+frightened out of her wits, I can see that, and yet nothing but force
+could get her away. For my nephew's sake and her own I tried hard to
+induce her to go, but she stands her ground like a soldier. What is best
+now I hardly know. Mrs. Poland is so utterly prostrated that it might
+cost her life to move her. Besides, they have all been so terribly
+exposed to the disease that they might be taken with it on the journey,
+and to have them go wandering off the Lord knows where at this chaotic
+time looks to me about as bad as staying where they are, and I can look
+after them. But we'll see, we'll see." And in like manner the sorely
+troubled old gentleman talked rapidly on, till they reached the
+undertaker's, seemingly finding a relief in thus unburdening his heart
+to one of whose sympathy he felt sure, and who might thus be led to feel
+a deeper interest in the objects of his charge.
+
+Even at that time of general disaster Haldane's abundant funds enabled
+him to secure prompt attention. It was decided that Mr. Poland's remains
+should be placed in a receiving vault until such time as they could be
+removed to the family burying-ground in another city, and before the day
+closed everything had been attended to in the manner which refined
+Christian feeling would dictate.
+
+Before parting with Haldane, Doctor Orton had given him careful
+directions what to do in case he recognized symptoms of the fever in any
+of the family or himself. "Keep Amy and Bertha with their mother all you
+can," he said; "anything to rouse the poor woman from that stony despair
+into which she seems to have fallen."
+
+The long day at length came to an end. Haldane of necessity had been
+much away, and he welcomed the cool and quiet evening; and yet he knew
+that with the shadow of night, though so grateful after the glare and
+heat to which he had been subjected, the fatal pestilence approached the
+nearer, as if to strike a deadlier blow. As the pioneer forefathers of
+the city had shut their doors and windows at nightfall, lest their
+savage and lurking foes should send a fatal arrow from some dusky
+covert, so now again, with the close of the day, all doors and windows
+must be shut against a more subtle and remorseless enemy, whose viewless
+shafts sped with a surer aim in darkness.
+
+Amy had spent much of the day in unburdening her heart in a long letter
+to her cousin Laura, in which in her own vivid way she portrayed the
+part Haldane had acted toward them. She had also written to her distant
+and unconscious lover, and feeling that it might be the last time, she
+had poured out to him a passion that was as intense and yet as pure as
+the transparent flame that we sometimes see issuing from the heart of
+the hard-wood maple, as we sit brooding over our winter fire.
+
+"Come and sit with us, and as one of us," she had said to Haldane, and
+so they had all gathered at the bedside of the widow, who had scarcely
+strength to do more than fix her dark, wistful eyes on one and another
+of the group. She was so bewildered and overwhelmed with her loss that
+her mind had partially suspended its action. She saw and heard
+everything; she remembered it all afterward; but now the very weight of
+the blow had so stunned her that she was mercifully saved from the agony
+of full consciousness.
+
+Little Bertha climbed upon Haldane's lap and pleaded for a story.
+
+"Yes, Bertie," he said, "and I think I know a story that you would like.
+You remember I told you that your papa had gone away with Jesus; would
+you not like to hear a story about this good friend of your papa's?"
+
+"Yes, yes, I would. Do you know much about him?"
+
+"Quite a good deal, for he's my friend too. I know one true story about
+him that I often like to think of. Listen, and I will tell it to you.
+Jesus is the God who made us, and he lives 'way up above the sky.' But
+he not only made us, Bertie, but he also loves us, and in order to show
+us how he loves us he is always coming to this world to do us good; and
+once he came and lived here just like a man, so that we might all be
+sure that he cared for us and wanted to make us good and happy. Well, at
+that time when he lived here in this world as a man he had some true
+friends who loved him and believed in him. At a certain time they were
+all staying on the shore of a sea, and one evening Jesus told his
+friends to take a little boat and go over to the other side of the sea,
+and he would meet them there. Then Jesus, who wanted to be alone, went
+up the side of the mountain that rose from the water's edge. Then night
+came and it began to grow darker and darker, and at last it was so dark
+that the friends of Jesus that were in the boat could only see a very
+little way. Then a moaning, sighing wind began to rise, and the poor men
+in the boat saw that a storm was coming, and they pulled hard with their
+oars in hopes of getting over on the other side before the storm became
+very bad; but by the time they reached the very middle of the sea, the
+wind began to blow furiously, just as you have seen it blow when the
+trees bent 'way over toward the ground, and some perhaps were broken
+down. A strong wind at sea makes the water rise up in waves, and these
+waves began to beat against the boat, and before very long some of the
+highest ones would dash into it. The men pulled with their oars with all
+their might, but it was of no use; the wind was right against them, and
+though they did their best hour after hour, they still could get no
+nearer the shore. How sad and full of danger was their condition! the
+dark, dark night was above and around them, the dark, angry waves
+dashing by and over them, the cold, black depths of water beneath them,
+and no sound in their ears but the wild, rushing storm. What do you
+think became of them?"
+
+"I'm afraid they were drowned," said Bertha, looking up with eyes that
+were full of fear and trouble.
+
+"Have you forgotten Jesus?"
+
+"But he's 'way off on the side of the mountain."
+
+"He is never so far from his friends but that he can see them and know
+all about them. He saw these friends in the boat, for Jesus can see in
+the darkness as well as in the light; and when the night grew darkest,
+and the waves were highest, and his friends most weary and discouraged,
+he came to them so that they might know that he could save them, when
+they felt they could not save themselves. And he came as no other help
+could have come--walking over the very waves that threatened to swallow
+up his friends; and when he was near to them he called out, 'Be of good
+cheer, it is I; be not afraid.' Then he went right up to the boat and
+stepped into it among his friends. Oh! what a happy change his coming
+made, for the winds ceased, the waves went down, and in a very little
+while the boat reached the sea-shore. The bright sun rose up, the
+darkness fled away, and the friends of Jesus were safe. They have been
+safe ever since. Nothing can harm Jesus' friends. He takes care of them
+from day to day, from year to year, and from age to age. Whenever they
+are in trouble or pain or danger he comes to them as he did to his
+friends in the boat, and he brings them safely through it all. Don't you
+think he is a good friend to have?"
+
+"Isn't I too little to be his friend?"
+
+"No, indeed; no one ever loved little children as he does. He used to
+take them in his arms and bless them, and he said, 'Suffer them to come
+to me'; and where he lives he has everything beautiful to make little
+children happy."
+
+"And you say papa is with him?"
+
+"Yes, papa is with him."
+
+"Why can't we all go to him now?"
+
+"As soon as he is ready for us he will come for us."
+
+"I wish he was ready for mamma, Amy, and me now, and then we could all
+be together. It's so lonely without papa. Oh! I'm so tired," she added
+after a few moments, and a little later her head dropped against
+Haldane's breast, and she was asleep.
+
+"Mr. Haldane," said Amy in a low, agitated voice, "have you embodied
+your faith in that story to Bertha?"
+
+"Yes, Miss Amy."
+
+"Why do you think"--and she hesitated. "How do you know," she began
+again, "that any such Being as Jesus exists and comes to any one's
+help?"
+
+"Granting that the story I have told you is true, how did his disciples
+know that he came to their help? Did not the hushed winds prove it? Did
+not the quieted waters prove it? Did not his presence with them assure
+them of it? By equal proof I know that he can and will come to the aid
+of those who look to him for aid. I have passed through darker nights
+and wilder storms than ever lowered over the Sea of Galilee, and I know
+by simple, practical, happy experience that Jesus Christ, through his
+all-pervading Spirit, has come to me in my utter extremity again and
+again, and that I have the same as felt his rescuing hand. Not that my
+trials and temptations have been greater than those of many others, but
+I have been weaker than others, and I have often been conscious of his
+sustaining power when otherwise I would have sunk beneath my burden.
+This is not a theory, Miss Amy, nor the infatuation of a few ignorant
+people. It is the downright experience of multitudes in every walk of
+life, and, on merely scientific grounds, is worth as much as any other
+experience. This story of Jesus gains the sympathy of little Bertha; it
+also commands the reverent belief of the most gifted and cultivated
+minds in the world."
+
+"Oh, that I could believe all this; but there is so much mystery, so
+much that is dark." Then she glanced at her mother, who had turned away
+her face and seemed to be sleeping, and she asked: "If Christ is so
+strong to help and save, why is he not strong to prevent evil? Why is
+there a cry of agony going up from this stricken city? Why must father
+die who was everything to us? Why must mother suffer so? Why am I so
+shadowed by an awful fear? Life means so much to me. I love it," she
+continued in low yet passionate tones. "I love the song of birds, the
+breath of flowers, the sunlight, and every beautiful thing. I love
+sensation. I am not one who finds a tame and tranquil pleasure in the
+things I like or in the friends I love. My joys thrill every nerve and
+fibre of my being. I cling to them, I cannot give them up. A few days
+ago life was as full of rich promise to me as our tropical spring. It is
+still, though I will never cease to feel the pain of this great sorrow,
+and yet this horrible pit of death, corruption, and nothingness yawns at
+my very feet. Mr. Haldane," she said in a still lower and more
+shuddering tone, "I have a terrible presentiment that I shall perish
+with this loathsome disease. I may seem to you, who are so quiet and
+brave, very weak and cowardly; but I shrink from death with a dread
+which you cannot understand and which no language can express. It is
+repugnant to every instinct of my being, and I can think of it only with
+unutterable loathing. If I were old and feeble, if I had tasted all the
+joys of life, I might submit, but not now, not now. I feel with father
+that it is fiendish cruelty to give one such an intense love of life and
+then wrench it away; and, passionately as I love life, there is one far
+more dear. There is that in your nature which has so won my confidence
+that I can reveal to you my whole heart. Mr. Haldane, I love one who is
+like you, manly and noble, and dearly as I prize life, I think I could
+give it away in slow torture for his sake, if required. How often my
+heart has thrilled to see his eyes kindle with his foolish admiration,
+the infatuation of love which makes its object beautiful at least to the
+lover. And now to think that he does not know what I suffer and fear, to
+think that I may never see him again, to think that when he returns I
+may be a hideous mass of corruption that he cannot even approach. Out
+upon the phrases 'beneficent nature,' and 'natural law.' Laws which
+permit such things are must unnatural, and to endow one with such a love
+of life, such boundless capabilities of enjoying life, and then at the
+supreme moment when the loss will be most bitterly felt to snatch it
+away, looks to me more like the work of devilish ingenuity than of a
+'beneficent nature.' I feel with father, it is fiendish cruelty."
+
+Haldane bowed his head among Bertha's curls to hide the tears that would
+come at this desperate cry of distress; but Amy's eyes were hard and
+dry, and had the agonized look which might have been their expression
+had she been enduring physical torture.
+
+"Miss Amy," he said brokenly after a moment, "you forget that your
+father said, 'If this life is all, it is fiendishly cruel to tear us
+from that which we have learned to love so dearly,' and I agree with
+him. But this life is not all; the belief that human life ends at death
+is revolting to reason, conscience, and every sense of justice. If this
+were true the basest villain could escape all the consequences of his
+evil in a moment, and you who are so innocent, so exquisite in your
+spiritual organization, so brave and noble that you can face this awful
+fear in your devotion to those you love--you by ceasing to breathe
+merely would sink to precisely the same level and be no different from
+the lifeless clay of the villain. Such monstrous injustice is
+impossible; it outrages every instinct of justice, every particle of
+reason that I have.
+
+"Miss Amy, don't you see that you are like the disciples in the boat out
+in the midst of the sea? The night is dark above you, the storm is wild
+around you, the waves are dashing over you, the little boat is frail,
+and there are such cold, dark depths beneath it. But we can't help these
+things. We can't explain the awful mystery of evil and suffering; sooner
+or later every human life becomes enveloped in darkness, storm, and
+danger. That wave-tossed boat in the midst of the sea is an emblem of
+the commonest human experience. On the wide sea of life, numberless
+little barks are at this moment at the point of foundering. Few are so
+richly freighted as yours, but the same unknown depths are beneath each.
+But, Miss Amy, I pray you remember the whole of this suggestive Bible
+story. Those imperilled disciples were watched by a loving, powerful
+friend. He came to their aid, making the very waves that threatened to
+engulf the pathway of his rescuing love. He saved those old-time
+friends. They are living to-day, they will live forever. I can't explain
+the dark and terrible things of which this world is full, I cannot
+explain the awful mystery of evil in any of its forms. I know the
+pestilence is all around us; I know it seems to threaten your precious,
+beautiful life. I recognize the fact, as I also remember the fact of the
+darkness and storm around the little boat. But I also know with absolute
+certainty that there is one who can come to your rescue, whose province
+it is to give life, deathless life, life more rich and full of thrilling
+happiness than you have ever dreamed of, even with your vivid
+imagination."
+
+"How, how can you know this? What _proof_ can you give me?" she
+asked; and no poor creature, whose life was indeed at stake, ever bent
+forward more eagerly to catch the sentence of life or death, than did
+Amy Poland the coming answer.
+
+"I know it," he replied more calmly, "on the strongest possible grounds
+of evidence--my own experience, the experience of Mrs. Arnot, who is
+sincerity itself, and the experience of multitudes of others. Believers
+in Jesus Christ have been verifying his promises in every age, and in
+every possible emergency and condition of life, and if their testimony
+is refused, human consciousness is no longer a basis of knowledge. No
+one ever had a better friend than Mrs. Arnot has been to me; she has
+been the means of saving me from disgrace, shame, and everything that
+was base, and I love her with a gratitude that is beyond words, and yet
+I am not so conscious of her practical help and friendship as that of
+the Divine Man who has been my patient unwavering friend in my long,
+hard struggle."
+
+Under his words, the hard, dry despair of Amy had given way to gentler
+feelings, which found expression in low, piteous sobbing.
+
+"Oh, when will he come to me?" she asked, "for I cannot doubt after such
+words."
+
+"When you most need him, Miss Amy. It is your privilege to ask his
+comforting and sustaining presence now; but he will come when he sees
+that you most need him."
+
+"If ever poor creatures needed such a friend as you have described, we
+need him now," faltered Mrs. Poland, turning her face toward them and
+then they knew that she had heard all.
+
+Amy sprang to her embrace, exclaiming, "Mother, is it possible that we
+can find such a friend in our extremity?"
+
+"Amy, I am bewildered, I am overwhelmed."
+
+Haldane carried little Bertha to her crib and covered her with an
+afghan. Then coming to the lady's side he took her hand and said gently,
+and yet with that quiet firmness which does much to produce conviction:
+"Mrs. Poland, before leaving your husband to his quiet sleep we read
+words which Jesus Christ once spoke to a despairing, grief-stricken
+woman. Take them now as if spoken to you. 'Jesus said unto her, I am the
+resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead,
+yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never
+die.' As your husband said to you, you will all surely meet again."
+
+Then he lifted her hand to his lips in a caress that was full of
+sympathy and respect, and silently left the room.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER LII
+
+A MAN VERSUS A CONNOISSEUR
+
+
+Amy's sad presentiment was almost verified. She was very ill, and for
+hours of painful uncertainty Haldane watched over her and administered
+the remedies which Dr. Orton left; and indeed the doctor himself was
+never absent very long, for his heart was bound up in the girl. At last,
+after a wavering poise, the scale turned in favor of life, and she began
+to slowly revive.
+
+Poor Mrs. Poland was so weak that she could not raise her head or hand,
+but, with her wistful, pathetic eyes, followed every motion, for she
+insisted on having Amy in the same room with herself. Aunt Saba, the old
+negress, to whom Mr. Poland had given her freedom, continued a faithful
+assistant. Bound to her mistress by the stronger chain of gratitude and
+affection, she served with fidelity in every way possible to her; and
+she and her husband were so old and humble that death seemingly had
+forgotten them.
+
+Before Amy was stricken down with the fever the look of unutterable
+dread and anxiety that was so painful to witness passed away, and gave
+place to an expression of quiet serenity.
+
+"I need no further argument," she had said to Haldane; "Christ has come
+across the waves of my trouble. I am as sure of it as I am sure that you
+came to my aid. I do not know whether mother or Bertha or I will
+survive, but I believe that God's love is as great as his power, and
+that in some way and at some time all will come out for the best. I have
+written to my friend abroad and to Auntie Arnot all about it, and now I
+am simply waiting. O, Mr. Haldane, I am so happy to tell you," she had
+added, "that I think mother is accepting the same faith, slowly and in
+accordance with her nature, but surely nevertheless. I am like father,
+quick and intense in my feelings. I feel that which is false or that
+which is true, rather than reason it out as mother does."
+
+Aunt Saba and her husband managed to take care of Bertha and keep her
+mind occupied; but before Amy's convalescence had proceeded very far the
+little girl was suddenly prostrated by a most violent attack of the
+disease, and she withered before the hot fever like a fragile flower in
+a simoom. Haldane went hastily for Dr. Orton, but he gave scarcely a
+hope from the first.
+
+During the night following the day on which she had been stricken down a
+strange event occurred. [Footnote: It is stated on high medical authority
+that "all patients suffer more during thunder-showers," and an instance
+is given of a physician who was suffering from this fever, and who was
+killed as instantly, by vivid flash and loud report, as if he had been
+struck by the lightning.] The sultry heat had been followed by a
+tropical thunder-storm, which had gathered in the darkness, and often
+gave to the midnight a momentary and brighter glare than that of the
+previous noon. The child would start as the flashes grew more intense,
+for they seemed to distress her very much.
+
+As Haldane was lifting her to give her a drink he said:
+
+"Perhaps Bertie will see papa very soon."
+
+Hearing the word "papa," the child forgot her pain for a moment and
+smiled. At that instant there was a blinding flash of lightning, and the
+appalling thunder-peal followed without any interval.
+
+Both Mrs. Poland and Amy gave a faint and involuntary cry of alarm, but
+Haldane's eyes were fixed on the little smiling face that he held so
+near to his own. The smile did not fade. The old, perplexed expression
+of pain did not come back, and after a moment he said quietly and very
+gently:
+
+"Bertie is with her father;" and he lifted her up and carried her to her
+mother, and then to Amy, that they might see the beautiful and smiling
+expression of the child's face.
+
+But their eyes were so blinded by tears that they could scarcely see the
+face from which all trace of suffering had been banished almost as truly
+as from the innocent spirit.
+
+Having laid her back in the crib, and arranged the little form as if
+sleeping, he carried the crib, with Aunt Saba's help, to the room where
+Mr. Poland had died. Then he told the old negress to return and remain
+with her mistress, and that he would watch over the body till morning.
+
+That quiet watch by the pure little child, with a trace of heaven's own
+beauty on her face, was to Haldane like the watch of the shepherds on
+the hillside near Bethlehem. At times, in the deep hush that followed
+the storm, he was almost sure that he heard, faint and far away, angelic
+minstrelsy and song.
+
+Haldane's unusually healthful and vigorous constitution had thus far
+resisted the infection, but after returning from the sad duty of laying
+little Bertha's remains by those of her father, he felt the peculiar
+languor which is so often the precursor of the chill and subsequent
+fever. Although he had scarcely hoped to escape an attack, he had never
+before realized how disastrous it would be to the very ones he had come
+to serve. Who was there to take care of him? Mrs. Poland was almost
+helpless from nervous prostration. Amy required absolute quiet to
+prevent the more fatal relapse, which is almost certain to follow
+exertion made too early in convalescence. He knew that if he were in the
+house she would make the attempt to do something for him, and he also
+knew it would be at the risk of her life. Old Aunt Saba was worn out in
+her attendance on Bertha, Amy, and Mrs. Poland. Her husband, and a
+stranger who had been at last secured to assist him, were required in
+the household duties.
+
+He took his decision promptly, for he felt that he had but brief time in
+which to act. Going to Mrs. Poland's room, he said to her and Amy:
+
+"I am glad to find you both so brave and doing as well as you are on
+this sad, sad day. I do not think you will take the disease, Mrs.
+Poland; and you, Miss Amy, only need perfect quiet in order to get well.
+Please remember, as a great favor to me, how vitally important is the
+tranquillity of mind and body that I am ever preaching to you, and don't
+do that which fatigues you in the slightest degree, till conscious of
+your old strength. And now I am going away for a little while. This is a
+time when every man should be at his post of duty. I am needed
+elsewhere, for I know of a case that requires immediate attention.
+Please do not remonstrate," he said, as they began to urge that he
+should take some rest; "my mission here has ended for the present and my
+duty is elsewhere. We won't say good-by, for I shall not be far away;"
+and although he was almost faint from weakness, his bearing was so
+decided and strong, and he appeared so bent on departure, that they felt
+that it would hardly be in good taste to say anything more.
+
+"We are almost beginning to feel that Mr. Haldane belongs to us," said
+Amy to her mother afterward, "and forget that he may be prompted by as
+strong a sense of duty to others."
+
+As Haldane was leaving the house Dr. Orton drove to the door. Before he
+could alight the young man climbed into his buggy with almost desperate
+haste.
+
+"Drive toward the city," he said so decisively that the doctor obeyed.
+
+"What's the matter, Haldane? Speak, man; you look sick."
+
+"Take me to the city hospital. I am sick."
+
+"I shall take you right back to Mrs. Poland's," said the doctor, pulling
+up.
+
+Haldane laid his hands on the reins, and then explained his fears and
+the motive for his action.
+
+"God bless you, old fellow; but you are right. Any effort now would cost
+Amy her life, and she would make it if you were there. But you are not
+going to the hospital."
+
+Dr. Orton's intimate acquaintance with the city enabled him to place
+Haldane in a comfortable room near his own house, where he could give
+constant supervision to his case. He also procured a good nurse, whose
+sole duty was to take care of the young man. To the anxious questioning
+of Mrs. Poland and Amy from time to time, the doctor maintained the
+fiction, saying that Haldane was watching a very important case under
+his care; "and you know his way," added the old gentleman, rubbing his
+hands, as if he were enjoying something internally, "he won't leave a
+case till I say it's safe, even to visit you, of whom he speaks every
+chance he gets;" and thus the two ladies in their feeble state were
+saved all anxiety.
+
+They at length learned of the merciful ruse that had been played upon
+them by the appearance of their friend at their door in Dr. Orton's
+buggy. As the old physician helped his patient, who was still rather
+weak, up the steps, he said with his hearty laugh:
+
+"Haldane has watched over that case, that he and I told you of, long
+enough. We now turn the case over to you, Miss Amy. But all he requires
+is good living, and I'll trust to you for that. He's a trump, if he is a
+Yankee. But drat him, I thought he'd spoil the joke by dying, at one
+time."
+
+The sentiments that people like Mrs. Poland and her daughter, Mrs.
+Arnot, and Laura, would naturally entertain toward one who had served
+them as Haldane had done, and at such risk to himself, can be better
+imagined than portrayed. They looked and felt infinitely more than they
+were ever permitted to say, for any expression of obligation was
+evidently painful to him.
+
+He speedily gained his old vigor, and before the autumn frosts put an
+end to the epidemic, was able to render Dr. Orton much valuable
+assistance.
+
+Amy became more truly his sister than ever his own had been to him. Her
+quick intuition soon discovered his secret--even the changing
+expression of his eyes at the mention of Laura's name would have
+revealed it to her--but he would not let her speak on the subject. "She
+belongs to another," he said, "and although to me she is the most
+beautiful and attractive woman in the world, it must be my lifelong
+effort not to think of her."
+
+His parting from Mrs. Poland and Amy tested his self-control severely.
+In accordance with her impulsive nature, Amy put her arms about his neck
+as she said brokenly:
+
+"You were indeed God's messenger to us, and you brought us life. As
+father said, we shall all meet again."
+
+On his return, Mrs. Arnot's greeting was that of a mother; but there
+were traces of constraint in Laura's manner. When she first met him she
+took his hand in a strong, warm pressure, and said, with tears in her
+eyes:
+
+"Mr. Haldane, I thank you for your kindness to Amy and auntie as
+sincerely as if it had all been rendered to me alone."
+
+But after this first expression of natural feeling, Haldane was almost
+tempted to believe that she shunned meeting his eyes, avoided speaking
+to him, and even tried to escape from his society, by taking Mr.
+Beaumont's arm and strolling off to some other apartment, when he was
+calling on Mrs. Arnot. And yet if this were true, he was also made to
+feel that it resulted from no lack of friendliness or esteem on her
+part.
+
+"She fears that my old-time passion may revive, and she would teach me
+to put a watch at the entrance of its sepulchre," he at length
+concluded; "she little thinks that my love, so far from being dead, is a
+chained giant that costs me hourly vigilance to hold in lifelong
+imprisonment."
+
+But Laura understood him much better than he did her. Her manner was the
+result of a straightforward effort to be honest. Of her own free will,
+and without even the slightest effort on the part of her uncle and aunt
+to incline her toward the wealthy and distinguished Mr. Beaumont, she
+had accepted all his attentions, and had accepted the man himself. In
+the world's estimation she would not have the slightest ground to find
+fault with him, for, from the first, both in conduct and manner, he had
+been irreproachable.
+
+When the telegram which announced Mr. Poland's death was received, he
+tried to comfort her by words that were so peculiarly elegant and
+sombre, that, in spite of Laura's wishes to think otherwise, they struck
+her like an elegiac address that had been carefully prearranged and
+studied; and when the tidings of poor little Bertha's death came, it
+would occur to Laura that Mr. Beaumont had thought his first little
+address so perfect that he could do no better than to repeat it, as one
+might use an appropriate burial service on all occasions. He meant to be
+kind and considerate. He was "ready to do anything in his power," as he
+often said. But what was in his power? As telegrams and letters came,
+telling of death, of desperate illness, and uncertain life, of death
+again, of manly help, of woman-like self-sacrifice in the same man, her
+heart began to beat in quick, short, passionate throbs. Bat it would
+seem that nothing could ever disturb the even rhythm of Beaumont's
+pulse. He tried to show his sympathy by turning his mind to all that was
+mournful and sombre in art and literature. One day he brought to her
+from New York what he declared to be the finest arrangement of dirge
+music for the piano extant, and she quite surprised him by declaring
+with sudden passion that she could not and would not play a note of it.
+
+In her deep sorrow and deeper anxiety, in her strange and miserable
+unrest, which had its hidden root in a cause not yet understood, she
+turned to him again and again for sympathy, and he gave her abundant
+opportunity to seek it, for Laura was the most beautiful object he had
+ever seen; and therefore, to feast his eye and gratify his ear, he spent
+much of his time with her; so much, indeed, that she often grew drearily
+weary of him. But no matter when or how often she would look into his
+face for quick, heartfelt appreciation, she saw with instinctive
+certainty that, more than lover, more than friend, and eventually, more
+than husband, he was, and ever would be, a connoisseur. When she smiled
+he was admiring her, when she wept he was also admiring her. Whatever
+she did or said was constantly being looked at and studied from an
+aesthetic standpoint by this man, whose fastidious taste she had thus
+far satisfied. More than once she had found herself asking: "Suppose I
+should lose my beauty, what would he do?" and the instinctive answer of
+her heart was: "He would honorably try to keep all his pledges, but
+would look the other way."
+
+Before she was aware of it, she had begun to compare her affianced with
+Haldane, and she found that the one was like a goblet of sweet, rich
+wine, that was already nearly exhausted and cloying to her taste; the
+other was like a mountain spring, whose waters are pure, ever new,
+unfailing, prodigally abundant, inspiring yet slaking thirst.
+
+But she soon saw whither such comparisons were leading her, and
+recognized her danger and her duty. She had plighted her faith to
+another, and he had given her no good reason to break that faith. Laura
+had a conscience, and she as resolutely set to work to shut out Haldane
+from her heart, as he, poor man, had tried to exclude her image, and
+from very much the same cause. But the heart is a wayward organ and is
+often at sword's-point with both will and conscience, and frequently, in
+spite of all that she could do, it would array Haldane on the one side
+and Beaumont on the other, and so it would eventually come to be, the
+man who loved her, _versus_ the connoisseur who admired her, but whose
+absorbing passion for himself left no place for any other strong
+feeling.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER LIII
+
+EXIT OF LAURA'S FIRST KNIGHT
+
+
+Haldane was given but little time for quiet study, for, before the year
+closed, tidings came from his mother, who was then in Italy, that she
+was ill and wished to see him. Poor Mrs. Haldane had at last begun to
+understand her son's character better, and to realize that he would
+retrieve the past. She also reproached herself that she had not been
+more sympathetic and helpful to him, and was not a little jealous that
+he should have found better and more appreciative friends than herself.
+And, at last, when she was taken ill, she longed to see him, and he lost
+not a moment in reaching her side.
+
+Her illness, however, did not prove very serious, and she improved
+rapidly after a young gentleman appeared who was so refined in his
+manners, so considerate and deferential in his bearing toward her that
+she could scarcely believe that he was the same with the wild, wretched
+youth who had been in jail, and, what was almost as bad, who had worked
+in a mill.
+
+Haldane made the most of his opportunities in seeing what was beautiful
+in nature and art while in the old world, but his thoughts turned with
+increasing frequency to his own land--not only because it contained the
+friends he loved so well, but also because events were now rapidly
+culminating for that great struggle between the two jarring sections
+that will eventually form a better and closer union on the basis of a
+mutual respect, and a better and truer knowledge of each other.
+
+When Mrs. Haldane saw that her son was determined to take part in the
+conflict, he began to seem to her more like his old unreasonable self.
+She feebly remonstrated as a matter of course, and proved to her own
+satisfaction that it was utter folly for a young man who had the
+enjoyment of such large wealth as her son to risk the loss of everything
+in the hardships and dangers of war. He was as kind and considerate as
+possible, but she saw from the old and well-remembered expression of his
+eyes that he would carry out his own will nevertheless, and therefore
+she and his sisters reluctantly returned with him.
+
+Having safely installed them in their old home, and proved by the aid of
+Dr. Marks and some other leading citizens of his native city that they
+had no further occasion to seclude themselves from the world, he
+returned to Hillaton to aid in organizing a regiment that was being
+recruited there, and in which Mr. Ivison had assured him of a
+commission. By means of the acquaintances he had made through his old
+mission class, he was able to secure enlistments rapidly, and although
+much of the material that he brought in was unpromising in its first
+appearance, he seemed to have the faculty of transforming the slouching
+dilapidated fellows into soldiers, and it passed into general remark
+that "Haldane's company was the roughest to start with and the best
+disciplined and most soldierly of them all when ordered to the seat of
+war."
+
+The colonelcy of the regiment was given to Mr. Beaumont, not only on
+account of his position, but also because of his large liberality in
+fitting it out. He took a vast interest in the aesthetic features of its
+equipment, style of uniform, and like matters, and he did most excellent
+service in insisting on neatness, good care of weapons, and a
+soldier-like bearing from the first.
+
+While active in this work he rose again in Laura's esteem, for he seemed
+more manly and energetic than he had shown himself to be before; and
+what was still more in his favor, he had less time for the indulgence of
+his taste as a connoisseur with her fair but often weary face as the
+object of contemplation.
+
+She, with many others, visited the drill-ground almost daily, and when
+she saw the tall and graceful form of Mr. Beaumont issuing from the
+colonel's tent, when she saw him mount his superb white horse, which he
+managed with perfect skill, when she saw the sun glinting on his elegant
+sword and gold epaulets, and heard his sonorous orders to the men, she
+almost felt that all Hillaton was right, and that she had reason to be
+proud of him, and to be as happy as the envious belles of the city
+deemed her to be. But in spite of herself, her eyes would wander from
+the central figure to plain Captain Haldane, who, ignoring the admiring
+throng, was giving his whole attention to his duty.
+
+Before she was aware, the thought began to creep into her mind, however,
+that to one man these scenes were military pageants, and to the other
+they meant stern and uncompromising war.
+
+This impression had speedy confirmation, for one evening when both Mr.
+Beaumont and Haldane happened to be present, Mrs. Arnot remarked in
+effect that her heart misgive her when she looked into the future, and
+that the prospect of a bloody war between people of one race and faith
+was simply horrible.
+
+"It will not be very bloody," remarked Mr. Beaumont, lightly. "After
+things have gone about so far the politicians on both sides will step in
+and patch up a compromise. Our policy at the North is to make an
+imposing demonstration. This will have the effect of bringing the
+fire-eaters to their senses, and if this won't answer we must get enough
+men together to walk right over the South, and end the nonsense at once.
+I have travelled through the South, and know that it can be done."
+
+"Pardon me, colonel," said Haldane, "but since we are not on the
+drill-ground I have a right to differ with you. I anticipate a very
+bloody, and, perhaps, a long war. I have not seen so much of the South,
+but I have seen something of its people. The greatest heroism I ever saw
+manifested in my life was by a young Southern girl, and if such are
+their women we shall find the men foemen abundantly worthy of our steel.
+We shall indeed have to literally walk over them, that is, such of us as
+are left and able to walk. I agree with Mrs. Arnot, and I tremble for
+the future of my country."
+
+Mr. Beaumont forgot himself for once so far as to say, "Oh, if you find
+such cause for trembling--" but Laura's indignant face checked further
+utterance.
+
+"I propose to do my duty," said Haldane, with a quiet smile, though a
+quick flush showed that he felt the slur, "and it will be your duty,
+Colonel, to see that I do."
+
+"You have taught us that the word duty means a great deal to you,
+Egbert," said Mrs. Arnot, and then the matter dropped. But the animus of
+each man had been quite clearly revealed, and the question would rise in
+Laura's mind, "Does not the one belittle the occasion because little
+himself?" Although she dreaded the coming war inexpressibly, she took
+Haldane's view of it. His tribute to her cousin Amy also touched a very
+tender chord.
+
+On the ground of having secured so many recruits Mr. Ivison urged that
+Haldane should have the rank of major, but at that time those things
+were controlled largely by political influence and favoritism, and there
+were still not a few in Hillaton who both thought and spoke of the young
+man's past record as a good reason why he should not have any rank at
+all. He quietly took what was given him and asked for nothing more.
+
+All now know that Mr. Beaumont's view was not correct, and as the
+conflict thickened and deepened that elegant gentleman became more and
+more disgusted. Not that he lacked personal courage, but, as he often
+remarked, it was the "horrid style of living" that he could not endure.
+He could not find an aesthetic element in the blinding dust or
+unfathomable mud of Virginia.
+
+As was usually the case, there was in the regiment a soldier gifted with
+the power and taste for letter-writing, and he kept the local papers
+quite well posted concerning affairs in the regiment. One item
+concerning Beaumont will indicate the condition of his mind. After
+describing the "awful" nature of the roads and weather, the writer
+added, "The Colonel looks as if in a chronic state of disgust."
+
+Suddenly the regiment was ordered to the far Southwest. This was more
+than Beaumont could endure, for in his view life in that region would be
+a burden under any circumstances. He coolly thought the matter over, and
+concluded that he would rather go home, marry Laura, and take a tour in
+Europe, and promptly executed the first part of his plan by resigning on
+account of ill-health. He had a bad cold, it is true, which had chiefly
+gone to his head and made him very uncomfortable, and so inflamed his
+nose that the examining physician misjudged the exemplary gentleman,
+recommending that his resignation be accepted, more from the fear that
+his habits were bad than from any other cause. But by the time he
+reached Hillaton his nose was itself again, and he as elegant as ever.
+The political major had long since disappeared, and so Haldane started
+for his distant field of duty as lieutenant-colonel.
+
+The regimental letter-writer chronicled this promotion in the Hillaton
+"Courier" with evident satisfaction.
+
+"Lieut.-Col. Haldane," he wrote, "is respected by all and liked by the
+majority. He keeps us rigidly to our duty, but is kind and considerate
+nevertheless. He is the most useful officer I ever heard of. Now he is
+chaplain and again he is surgeon. He coaxes the money away from the men
+and sends it home to their families, otherwise much of it would be lost
+in gambling. Many a mother and wife in Hillaton hears from the absent
+oftener because the Colonel urges the boys to write, and writes for
+those who are unable. To give you a sample of the man I will tell you
+what I saw not long ago. The roads were horrible as usual, and some of
+the men were getting played out on the march. The first thing I knew a
+sick man was on the Major's horse (he was Major then), and he was
+trudging along in the mud with the rest of us, and carrying the muskets
+of three other men who were badly used up. [Footnote: I cannot refrain
+here from paying a tribute to my old schoolmate and friend, Major James
+Cromwell, of the 124th New York Volunteers, whom I have seen plodding
+along in the mud in a November storm, a sick soldier riding his horse,
+while he carried the accoutrements of other men who were giving out from
+exhaustion. Major Cromwell was killed while leading a charge at the
+battle of Gettysburg. ] We want the people of Hillaton to understand,
+that if any of us get back we won't hear anything more against Haldane.
+Nice, pretty fellows, who don't like to get their boots muddy, as our
+ex-Colonel, for instance, may be more to their taste, but they ain't to
+ours."
+
+Laura read this letter with cheeks that reddened with shame and then
+grew very pale.
+
+"Auntie," she said, showing it to Mrs. Arnot, "I cannot marry that man.
+I would rather die first."
+
+"I do not wonder that you feel so," replied Mrs. Arnot emphatically.
+"With all his wealth and culture I neither would nor could marry him,
+and would tell him so. I have felt sure that you would come to this
+conclusion, but I wished your own heart and conscience to decide the
+matter."
+
+But before Laura could say to Mr. Beaumont that which she felt she must,
+and yet which she dreaded, for his sake, to speak, a social earthquake
+took place in Hillaton.
+
+Mr. Arnot was arrested! But for the promptness of his friends to give
+bail for his appearance, he would have been taken from his private
+office to prison as poor Haldane had been years before.
+
+It would be wearisome to tell the long story of his financial distress,
+which he characteristically kept concealed from his wife. Experiences
+like his are only too common. With his passion for business he had
+extended it to the utmost limit of his capital. Then came a time of
+great depression and contraction. Prompted by a will that had never been
+thwarted, and a passion for routine which could endure no change, he
+made Herculean effort to keep everything moving on with mechanical
+regularity. His strong business foresight detected the coming change for
+the better in the business world, and with him it was only a question of
+bridging over the intervening gulf. He sank his own property in his
+effort to do this; then the property of his wife and Laura, which he
+held in trust. Then came the great temptation of his life. He was joint
+trustee of another very large property, and the co-executor was in
+Europe, and would be absent for years. In order to use some of the funds
+of this property it was necessary to have the signature of this
+gentleman. With the infatuation of those who dally with this kind of
+temptation, Mr. Arnot felt sure that he could soon make good all that he
+should use in his present emergency, and, therefore, forged the name of
+the co-trustee. The gentleman returned from Europe unexpectedly, and the
+crime was discovered and speedily proved.
+
+It was now that Mrs. Arnot proved what a noble and womanly nature she
+possessed. Without palliating his fault, she ignored the whole scoffing,
+chattering world, and stood by her husband with as wifely devotion as if
+his crime had been misfortune, and he himself had been the affectionate
+considerate friend that she had believed he would be, when as a blushing
+maiden she had accepted the hand that had grown so hard, and cold, and
+heavy.
+
+Mr. Beaumont was stunned and bewildered. At first he scarcely knew what
+to do, although his sagacious father and mother told him very plainly to
+break the engagement at once. But the trouble with Mr. Beaumont upon
+this occasion was that he was a man of honor, and for once he almost
+regretted the fact. But since he was, he believed that there was but one
+course open for him. Although Laura was now penniless, and the same
+almost as the daughter of a man who would soon be in State prison, he
+had promised to marry her. She must become the mistress of the ancient
+and aristocratic Beaumont mansion.
+
+He braced himself, as had been his custom when a battle was in prospect,
+and went down to the beautiful villa which would be Laura's home but a
+few days longer.
+
+As he entered, she saw that he was about to perform the one heroic act
+of his life, but she was cruel enough to prevent even that one, and so
+reduced his whole career to one consistently elegant and polished
+surface.
+
+He had taken her hand, and was about to address her in the most
+appropriate language, and with all the dignity of self-sacrifice, when
+she interrupted him by saying briefly:
+
+"Mr. Beaumont, please listen to me first. Before the most unexpected
+event occurred which has made so great a change in my fortunes, and I
+may add, in so many of my friends, I had decided to say to you in all
+sincerity and, kindness that I could not marry you. I could not give you
+that love which a wife ought to give to a husband. I now repeat my
+decision still more emphatically."
+
+Mr. Beaumont was again stunned and bewildered. A woman declining to
+marry him!
+
+"Can nothing change your decision?" he faltered, fearing that something
+might.
+
+"Nothing," she coldly replied, and with an involuntary expression of
+contempt hovering around her flexible mouth.
+
+"But what will you do?" he asked, prompted by not a little curiosity.
+
+"Support myself by honest work," was her quiet but very decisive answer.
+
+Mr. Beaumont now felt that there was nothing more to be done but to make
+a little elegant farewell address, and depart, and he would make it in
+spite of all that she could do.
+
+The next thing she heard of him was that he had started on a tour of
+Europe, and, no doubt, in his old character of a connoisseur, whose
+judgment few dared to dispute.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER LIV
+
+ANOTHER KNIGHT APPEARS
+
+
+The processes of law were at length complete, and Mr. Arnot found
+himself in a prison cell, with the prospect that years must elapse
+before he would receive a freedom that now was dreaded almost more than
+his forced seclusion. After his conviction he had been taken from
+Hillaton to a large prison of the State, in a distant city.
+
+"I shall follow you, Thomas, as soon as I can complete such arrangements
+as are essential," Mrs. Arnot had said, "and will remain as near to you
+as I can. Indeed, it will be easier for Laura and me to commence our new
+life there than here."
+
+The man had at last begun to realize the whole truth. True to his
+nature, he thought of himself first, and saw that his crime, like a
+great black hand, had dragged him down from his proud eminence of power
+and universal respect, away from his beloved business, and had shut him
+up in this narrow, stony sepulchre, for what better was his prison cell
+than a tomb to a man with his tireless mind? The same mind which like a
+giant had carried its huge burden every day, was still his; but now
+there was nothing for it to do. And yet it would act, for constant
+mental action had become a necessity from a lifetime of habit.
+Heretofore his vast business taxed every faculty to the utmost. He had
+to keep his eye on all the great markets of the world; he had to follow
+politicians, diplomats, and monarchs into their secret councils, and
+guess at their policy in order to shape his own business policy. His
+interests were so large and far-reaching that it had been necessary for
+him to take a glance over the world before he could properly direct his
+affairs from his private office. For years he had been commanding a
+small army of men, and with consummate skill and constant thought he had
+arrayed the industry of his army against the labors of like armies under
+the leadership of other men in competition with himself. His mind had
+learned to flash with increasing speed and accuracy to one and another
+of all these varied interests. But now the great fabric of business and
+wealth, which he had built by a lifetime of labor, had vanished like a
+dream, and nothing remained but the mind that had constructed it.
+
+"Ah!" he groaned again and again, "why could not mind and memory perish
+also?"
+
+But they remained, and were the only possessions left of his great
+wealth.
+
+Then he began to think of his wife and Laura. He had beggared them, and,
+what was far worse, he had darkened their lives with the shadow of his
+own disgrace. Wholly innocent as they were, they must suffer untold
+wretchedness through his act. In his view he was the cause of the broken
+engagement between his niece and the wealthy Mr. Beaumont, and now he
+saw that there was nothing before the girl but a dreary effort to gain a
+livelihood by her own labor, and this effort rendered almost hopeless by
+the reflected shame of his crime.
+
+His wife also was growing old and feeble. At last he realized he had a
+wife such as is given to but few men--a woman who was great enough to be
+tender and sympathetic through all the awful weeks that had elapsed
+since the discovery of his crime--a woman who could face what she saw
+before her and utter no words of repining or reproach.
+
+He now saw how cold and hard and unappreciative he had been toward her
+in the days of his prosperity, and he cursed himself and his unutterable
+folly.
+
+Thus his great powerful mind turned in vindictive rage against itself.
+Memory began to show him with mocking finger and bitter jibes where he
+might have acted more wisely in his business, more wisely in his social
+relations, and especially more wisely and humanely, to say the least, in
+his own home. It seemed to take a fiendish delight in telling him how
+everything might have been different, and how he, instead of brooding in
+a prison cell, might have been the most honored, useful, wealthy, and
+happy man in Hillaton.
+
+Thus he was tortured until physical exhaustion brought him a brief
+respite of sleep. But the next day it was the same wretched round of
+bitter memories and vain but torturing activity of mind. Day after day
+passed and he grew haggard under his increasing mental distress. His
+mind was like a great driving wheel, upon which all the tremendous
+motive power is turned without cessation, but for which there is nothing
+to drive save the man himself, and seemingly it would drive him mad.
+
+At last he said to himself, "I cannot endure this. For my own sake, for
+the sake of my wife and Laura, it were better that an utter blank should
+take the place of Thomas Arnot. I am, and ever shall be, only a burden
+to them. I am coming to be an intolerable burden to myself."
+
+The thought of suicide, once entertained, grew rapidly in favor, and at
+last it became only a question how he could carry out his dark purpose.
+With this definite plan before him he grew calmer. At last he had
+something to do in the future, and terrible memory must suspend for a
+time its scorpion lash while he thought how best to carry out his plan.
+
+The suicide about to take the risk of endless suffering is usually
+desirous that the intervening moments of his "taking off" should be as
+painless as possible, and Mr. Arnot began to think how he could make his
+exit momentary. But his more tranquil mood, the result of having some
+definite action before him, led to sleep, and the long night passed in
+unconsciousness, the weary body clogging the wheels of conscious
+thought.
+
+The sun was shining when he awoke; but with returning consciousness came
+memory and pain, and the old cowardly desire to escape all the
+consequences of his sin by death. He vowed he would not live to see
+another day, and once more he commenced brooding over the one question,
+how he would die. As he took up this question where he had dropped it
+the previous night, the thought occurred to him what a long respite he
+had had from pain. Then like a flash of lightning came another thought:
+
+"Suppose by my self-destroying act I pass into a condition of life in
+which there is no sleep, and memory can torture without cessation,
+without respite? True, I have tried to believe there is no future life,
+but am I sure of it? Here I can obtain a little rest. For hours I have
+been unconscious, through the weight of the body upon my spirit. How can
+I be sure that the spirit cannot exist separately and suffer just the
+same? I am not suffering now through my body, and have not been through
+all these terrible days. My body is here in this cell, inert and
+motionless, painless, while in my mind I am enduring the torments of the
+damned. The respite from suffering that I have had has come through the
+weariness of my body, and here I am planning to cast down the one
+barrier that perhaps saves me from an eternity of torturing thought and
+memory."
+
+He was appalled at the bare possibility of such a future; reason told
+him that such a future was probable, and conscience told him that it was
+before him in veritable truth. He felt that wherever he carried memory
+and his present character he would be most miserable, whether it were in
+Dante's Inferno, Milton's Paradise, or the heaven or hell of the Bible.
+
+There was no more thought of suicide. Indeed, he shrank from death with
+inexpressible dread.
+
+Slowly his thoughts turned to his wife, the woman who had been so true
+to him, the one human being of all the world who now stood by him. She
+might help him in his desperate strait. She seemed to have a principle
+within her soul which sustained her, and which might sustain him. At any
+rate, he longed to see her once more, and ask her forgiveness in deep
+contrition for his base and lifelong failure to "love, honor, and
+cherish her," as he had promised at God's altar and before many
+witnesses.
+
+The devoted wife came and patiently entered on her ministry of love and
+Christian faith, and out of the chaos of the fallen man of iron and
+stone there gradually emerged a new man, who first became in Christ's
+expressive words "a little child" in spiritual things, that he might
+grow naturally and in the symmetry of the enduring manhood which God
+designs to perfect in the coming ages.
+
+Mrs. Arnot's sturdy integrity led her to give up everything to her
+husband's creditors, and she came to the city of her new abode wherein
+the prison was located almost penniless. But she brought letters from
+Dr. Barstow, Mr. Ivison, and other Christian people of Hillaton. These
+were presented at a church of the denomination to which she belonged,
+and all she asked was some employment by which she and Laura could
+support themselves. These letters secured confidence at once. There was
+no mystery--nothing concealed--and, although so shadowed by the disgrace
+of another, the bearing of the ladies inspired respect and won sympathy.
+A gentleman connected with the church gave Laura the position of
+saleswoman in his bookstore, and to Mrs. Arnot's little suburban cottage
+of only three rooms kind and interested ladies brought sewing and
+fancy-work. Thus they were provided for, as God's people ever are in
+some way.
+
+Mrs. Arnot had written a long letter to Haldane before leaving Hillaton,
+giving a full account of their troubles, with one exception. At Laura's
+request she had not mentioned the broken engagement with Beaumont.
+
+"If possible, I wish to see him myself before he knows," she had said.
+"At least, before any correspondence takes place between us, I wish to
+look into his eyes, and if I see the faintest trace of shrinking from me
+there, as I saw it in Mr. Beaumont's eyes, I will never marry him, truly
+as I love him."
+
+Mrs. Arnot's face had lighted up with its old-time expression, as she
+said:
+
+"Laura, don't you know Egbert Haldane better than that?"
+
+"I can't help it," she had replied with a troubled brow; "the manner of
+nearly every one has changed so greatly that I must see him first."
+
+Haldane did not receive Mrs. Arnot's first letter. He was at sea with
+his regiment, on his way to the far Southwest, when the events in which
+he would have been so deeply interested began to occur. After reaching
+his new scene of duty, there were constant alternations of march and
+battle. In the terrible campaign that followed, the men of the army he
+was acting with were decimated, and officers dropped out fast. In
+consequence, Haldane, who received but two slight wounds, that did not
+disable him, was promoted rapidly. The colonel of the regiment was
+killed soon after their arrival, and from the command of the regiment he
+rose, before the campaign was over, to command a brigade, and then a
+division; and he performed his duties so faithfully and ably that he was
+confirmed in this position.
+
+Mrs. Arnot's first letter had followed him around for a time, and then
+was lost, like so many others in that time of dire confusion. Her second
+letter after long delay reached him, but it was very brief and hurried,
+and referred to troubles that he did not understand. From members of his
+old regiment, however, rumors reached him of some disaster to Mr. Arnot,
+and wrong-doing on his part, which had led to imprisonment.
+
+Haldane was greatly shocked at the bare possibility of such events, and
+wrote a most sympathetic letter to Mrs. Arnot, which never reached her.
+She had received some of his previous letters, but not this one.
+
+By the time the campaign was over one of Haldane's wounds began to
+trouble him very much, and his health seemed generally broken down from
+exposure and overexertion. As a leave of absence was offered him, he
+availed himself of it and took passage to New York.
+
+Three or four letters from his mother had reached him, but that lady's
+causeless jealousy of Mrs. Arnot had grown to such proportions that she
+never mentioned her old friend's name.
+
+The long days of the homeward voyage were passed by Haldane in vain
+conjecture. Of one thing he felt sure, and that was that Laura was by
+this time, or soon would be, Mrs. Beaumont; and now that the excitement
+of military service was over, the thought rested on him with a weight
+that was almost crushing.
+
+One evening Mr. Growther was dozing as usual between his cat and dog,
+when some one lifted the latch and walked in without the ceremony of
+knocking.
+
+"Look here, stranger, where's yer manners?" snarled the old gentleman.
+Then catching a glimpse of the well-remembered face, though now obscured
+by a tremendous beard, he started up, exclaiming,
+
+"Lord a' massy! 'taint you, is it? And you compared yourself with that
+little, peaked-faced chap that's around just the same--you with
+shoulders as broad as them are, and two stars on 'em too!"
+
+The old man nearly went beside himself with joy. He gave the cat and dog
+each a vigorous kick, and told them to "wake up and see if they could
+believe their eyes."
+
+It was some time before Haldane could get him quieted down so as to
+answer all the questions that he was longing to put; but at last he drew
+out the story in full of Mr. Arnot's forgery and its consequences.
+
+"Has Mr. Beaumont married Miss Romeyn?" at last he faltered.
+
+"No; I reckon not," said Mr. Growther dryly.
+
+"What do you mean?" asked Haldane sharply.
+
+"Well, all I know is that he didn't marry her, and she ain't the kind of
+a girl to marry him, whether he would or no, and so they ain't married."
+
+"The infernal scoundrel!" thundered Haldane, springing to his feet.
+"The--"
+
+"Hold on!" cried Mr. Growther. "O Lord a' massy! I half believe he's got
+to swearin' down in the war. If he's backslid agin, nothin' but my
+little, peaked-faced chap will ever bring him around a nuther time."
+
+Haldane was stalking up and down the room in strong excitement and quite
+oblivious of Mr. Growther's perplexity.
+
+"The unutterable fool!" he exclaimed, "to part from such a woman as
+Laura Romeyn for any cause save death."
+
+"Well, hang it all! if he's a fool that's his business. What on 'arth is
+the matter with you? I ain't used to havin' bombshells go off right
+under my nose as you be, and the way you are explodin' round kinder
+takes away my breath."
+
+"Forgive me, my old friend; but I never had a shot strike quite as close
+as this. Poor girl! Poor girl! What a prospect she had a few months
+since. True enough, Beaumont was never a man to my taste; but a woman
+sees no faults in the man she loves; and he could have given her
+everything that her cultivated taste could wish for. Poor girl, she must
+be broken-hearted with all this trouble and disappointment."
+
+"If I was you, I'd go and see if she was," said Mr. Growther, with a
+shrewd twinkle in his eyes. "I've heerd tell of hearts bein' mended in
+my day."
+
+Haldane looked at him a moment, and, as he caught his old friend's
+meaning, he brought his hand down on the table with a force that made
+everything in the old kitchen ring again.
+
+"O Lord a' massy!" ejaculated Mr. Growther, hopping half out of his
+chair.
+
+"Mr. Growther," said Haldane, starting up, "I came to have a very
+profound respect for your sagacity and wisdom years ago, but to-night
+you have surpassed Solomon himself. I shall take your most excellent
+advice at once and go and see."
+
+"Not to-night--"
+
+"Yes, I can yet catch the owl train to-night. Good-by for a short time."
+
+"No wonder he took the rebs' works, if he went for 'em like that,"
+chuckled Mr. Growther, as he composed himself after the excitement of
+the unexpected visit. "Now I know what made him look so long as if
+something was a-gnawin' at his heart; so I'm a-thinkin' there'll be two
+hearts mended."
+
+Haldane reached the city in which Mrs. Arnot resided early in the
+morning, and as he had no clew to her residence, he felt that his best
+chance of hearing of her would be at the prison itself, for he knew well
+that she would seek either to see or learn of her husband's welfare
+almost daily. In answer to his inquiries, he was told that she would be
+sure to come to the prison at such an hour in the evening since that was
+her custom.
+
+He must get through the day the best he could, and so strolled off to
+the business part of the city, where was located the leading hotel, and
+was followed by curious eyes and surmises. Major-generals were not in
+the habit of inquiring at the prison after convicts' wives.
+
+As he passed a bookstore, it occurred to him that an exciting story
+would help kill time, and he sauntered in and commenced looking over the
+latest publications that were seductively arranged near the door.
+
+"I'll go to breakfast now, Miss," said the junior clerk who swept the
+store.
+
+"Thank you. Oh, go quickly," murmured Laura Romeyn to herself, as with
+breathless interest she watched the unconscious officer, waiting till he
+should look up and recognize her standing behind a counter. She was
+destined to have her wish in very truth, for when he saw her he would be
+so surely off his guard from surprise that she could see into the very
+depths of his heart.
+
+Would he never look up? She put her hand to her side, for anticipation
+was so intense as to become a pain. She almost panted from excitement.
+This was the supreme moment of her life, but the very fact of his coming
+to this city promised well for the hope which fed her life.
+
+"Ah, he is reading. The thought of some stranger holds him, while my
+intense thoughts and feelings no more affect him than if I were a
+thousand miles away. How strong and manly he looks! How well that
+uniform becomes him, though evidently worn and battle-stained! Ah! two
+stars upon his shoulder! Can it be that he has won such high rank? What
+will he think of poor me, selling books for bread? Egbert Haldane,
+beware! If you shrink from me now, even in the expression of your eye, I
+stand aloof from you forever."
+
+The man thus standing on the brink of fate, read leisurely on, smiling
+at some quaint fancy of the author, who had gained his attention for a
+moment.
+
+"Heigh ho!" he said at last," this stealing diversion from a book
+unbought is scarcely honest, so I will--"
+
+The book dropped from his hands, and he passed his hands across his eyes
+as if to brush away a film. Then his face lighted up with all the noble
+and sympathetic feeling that Laura had ever wished or hoped to see, and
+he sprang impetuously toward her.
+
+"Miss Romeyn," he exclaimed. "Oh, this is better than I hoped."
+
+"Did you hope to find me earning my bread in this humble way?" she
+faltered, deliciously conscious that he was almost crushing her hand in
+a grasp that was all too friendly.
+
+"I was hoping to find _you_--and Mrs. Arnot," he added with a sudden
+deepening of color. "I thought a long day must elapse before I could
+learn of your residence."
+
+"Do you know all?" she asked, very gravely.
+
+"Yes, Miss Romeyn," he replied with moistening eyes, "I know all.
+Perhaps my past experience enables me to sympathize with you more than
+others can. But be that as it may, I do give you the whole sympathy of
+my heart; and for this brave effort to win your own bread I respect and
+honor you more, if possible, than I did when you were in your beautiful
+home at Hillaton."
+
+Laura's tears were now falling fast, but she was smiling nevertheless,
+and she said, hesitatingly:
+
+"I do not consider myself such a deplorable object of sympathy; I have
+good health, a kind employer, enough to live upon, and a tolerably clear
+conscience. Of course I do feel deeply for auntie and uncle, and yet I
+think auntie is happier than she has been for many years. If all had
+remained as it was at Hillaton, the ice around uncle's heart would have
+grown harder and thicker to the end; now it is melting away, and
+auntie's thoughts reach so far beyond time and earth, that she is
+forgetting the painful present in thoughts of the future."
+
+"I have often asked myself," exclaimed Haldane, "could God have made a
+nobler woman? Ah! Miss Laura, you do not know how much I owe to her."
+
+"You have taught us that God can make noble men also."
+
+"I have merely done my duty," he said, with a careless gesture. "When
+can I see Mrs. Arnot?"
+
+"I can't go home till noon, but I think I can direct you to the house."
+
+"Can I not stay and help you sell books? Then I can go home with you."
+
+"A major-general behind the counter selling books would make a sensation
+in town, truly."
+
+"If the people were of my way of thinking, Miss Laura Romeyn selling
+books would make a far greater sensation."
+
+"Very few are of your way of thinking, Mr. Haldane."
+
+"I am heartily glad of it," he ejaculated.
+
+"Indeed!"
+
+"Pardon me, Miss Romeyn" he said with a deep flush, "you do not
+understand what I mean." Then he burst out impetuously, "Miss Laura, I
+cannot school myself into patience. I have been in despair so many years
+that since I now dare to imagine that there is a bare chance for me, I
+cannot wait decorously for some fitting occasion. But if you can give me
+even the faintest hope I will be patience and devotion itself."
+
+"Hope of what?" said Laura faintly, turning away her face.
+
+"Oh, Miss Laura, I ask too much," he answered sadly.
+
+"You have not asked anything very definitely, Mr. Haldane," she
+faltered.
+
+"I ask for the privilege of trying to win you as my wife."
+
+"Ah, Egbert," she cried, joyously, "you have stood the test; for if you
+had shrunk, even in your thoughts, from poor, penniless Laura Romeyn,
+with her uncle in yonder prison, you might have tried in vain to win
+me."
+
+"God knows I did not shrink," he said eagerly, and reaching out his hand
+across the counter.
+
+"I know it too," she said shyly.
+
+"Laura, all that I am, or ever can be, goes with that hand."
+
+She put her hand in his, and looking into his face with an expression
+which he had never seen before, she said:
+
+"Egbert, I have loved you ever since you went, as a true knight, to the
+aid of cousin Amy."
+
+And thus they plighted their faith to each other across the counter, and
+then he came around on her side.
+
+We shall not attempt to portray the meeting between Mrs. Arnot and one
+whom she had learned to look upon as a son, and who loved her with an
+affection that had its basis in the deepest gratitude.
+
+Our story is substantially ended. It only remains to be said that
+Haldane, by every means in his power, showed gentle and forbearing
+consideration for his mother's feelings, and thus she was eventually led
+to be reconciled to his choice, if not to approve of it.
+
+"After all, it is just like Egbert," she said to her daughters, "and we
+will have to make the best of it."
+
+Haldane's leave of absence passed all too quickly, and in parting he
+said to Laura:
+
+"You think I have faced some rather difficult duties before, but there
+was never one that could compare with leaving you for the uncertainties
+of a soldier's life."
+
+But he went nevertheless, and remained till the end of the war.
+
+Not long after going to the front he was taken prisoner in a disastrous
+battle, but he found means of informing his old friend Dr. Orton of the
+fact. Although the doctor was a rebel to the backbone, he swore he would
+"break up the Confederacy" if Haldane was not released, and through his
+influence the young man was soon brought to his friend's hospitable
+home, where he found Amy installed as housekeeper. She was now Mrs.
+Orton, for her lover returned as soon as it was safe for him to do so
+after the end of the epidemic. He was now away in the army, and thus
+Haldane did not meet him at that time; but later in the conflict Colonel
+Orton in turn became a prisoner of war, and Haldane was able to return
+the kindness which he received on this occasion. Mrs. Poland resided
+with Amy, and they both were most happy to learn that they would
+eventually have a relative as well as friend in their captive, for never
+was a prisoner of war made more of than Haldane up to the time of his
+exchange.
+
+Years have passed. The agony of the war has long been over. Not only
+peace but prosperity is once more prevailing throughout the land.
+
+Mr. and Mrs. Arnot reside in their old home, but Mrs. Egbert Haldane is
+its mistress. Much effort was made to induce Mr. Growther to take up his
+abode there also, but he would not leave the quaint old kitchen, where
+he said "the little peaked-faced chap was sittin' beside him all the
+time."
+
+At last he failed and was about to die. Looking up into Mrs. Arnot's
+face, he said:
+
+"I don't think a bit better of myself. I'm twisted all out o' shape. But
+the little chap has taught me how the Good Father will receive me."
+
+The wealthiest people of Hillaton are glad to obtain the services of Dr.
+Haldane, and to pay for them; they are glad to welcome him to their
+homes when his busy life permits him to come; but the proudest citizen
+must wait when Christ, in the person of the poorest and lowliest, sends
+word to this knightly man, "I am sick or in prison"; "I am naked or
+hungry."
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's A Knight Of The Nineteenth Century, by E. P. Roe
+
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