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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #62880 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/62880)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Glebe 1914/01 (Vol. 1, No. 4): Love of
-One's Neighbor, by Leonid Andreyev
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Glebe 1914/01 (Vol. 1, No. 4): Love of One's Neighbor
-
-Author: Leonid Andreyev
-
-Editor: Alfred Kreymborg
- Man Ray
-
-Translator: Thomas Seltzer
-
-Release Date: August 8, 2020 [EBook #62880]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GLEBE 1914/01 (VOL. 1 ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Jens Sadowski and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net. This book was
-produced from images made available by the Blue Mountain
-Project, Princeton University.
-
-
-
-
-
-
- Love of One's Neighbor
-
- THE
- GLEBE
-
- VOLUME 1
- NUMBER 4
-
- JANUARY
- 1914
-
- SUBSCRIPTION
- Three Dollars Yearly
- THIS ISSUE 35 CENTS
-
- By Leonid Andreyev
-
-
-The only editorial policy of THE GLEBE is that embodied in its
-declaration of absolute freedom of expression, which makes for a range
-broad enough to include every temperament from the most radical to the
-most conservative, the only requisite being that the work should have
-unmistakable merit. Each issue will be devoted exclusively to one
-individual, thereby giving him an opportunity to present his work in
-sufficient bulk to make it possible for the reader to obtain a much more
-comprehensive grasp of his personality than is afforded him in the
-restricted space allotted by the other magazines. Published monthly, or
-more frequently if possible, THE GLEBE will issue twelve to twenty books
-per year, chosen on their merits alone, since the subscription list does
-away with the need of catering to the popular demand that confronts
-every publisher. Thus, THE GLEBE can promise the best work of American
-and foreign authors, known and unknown.
-
-The price of each issue of THE GLEBE will vary with the cost of
-publication, but the yearly subscription, including special numbers, is
-three dollars.
-
- Editor
- ALFRED KREYMBORG
-
-
- LOVE OF ONE'S NEIGHBOR
-
-
-
-
- LOVE OF ONE'S NEIGHBOR
-
-
- BY
- LEONID ANDREYEV
-
- AUTHORIZED TRANSLATION BY
- THOMAS SELTZER
-
-
- NEW YORK
- ALBERT AND CHARLES BONI
- 96 FIFTH AVENUE
- 1914
-
-
- Copyright, 1914
- By
- Albert and Charles Boni
-
-
-
-
- LOVE OF ONE'S NEIGHBOR
-
-
-SCENE. A wild place in the mountains.
-
-(A man in an attitude of despair is standing on a tiny projection of a
-rock that rises almost sheer from the ground. How he got there it is not
-easy to say, but he cannot be reached either from above or below. Short
-ladders, ropes and sticks show that attempts have been made to save the
-unknown person, but without success.
-
-It seems that the unhappy man has been in that desperate position a long
-time. A considerable crowd has already collected, extremely varied in
-composition. There are venders of cold drinks; there is a whole little
-bar behind which the bartender skips about out of breath and
-perspiring--he has more on his hands than he can attend to; there are
-peddlers selling picture postal cards, coral beads, souvenirs, and all
-sorts of trash. One fellow is stubbornly trying to dispose of a
-tortoise-shell comb, which is really not tortoise-shell. Tourists keep
-pouring in from all sides, attracted by the report that a catastrophe is
-impending--Englishmen, Americans, Germans, Russians, Frenchmen,
-Italians, etc., with all their peculiar national traits of character,
-manner and dress. Nearly all carry alpenstocks, field-glasses and
-cameras. The conversation is in different languages, all of which, for
-the convenience of the reader, we shall translate into English.
-
-At the foot of the rock where the unknown man is to fall, two policemen
-are chasing the children away and partitioning off a space, drawing a
-rope around short stakes stuck in the ground. It is noisy and jolly.)
-
-POLICEMAN. Get away, you loafer! The man'll fall on your head and then
-your mother and father will be making a hullabaloo about it.
-
-BOY. Will he fall here?
-
-POLICEMAN. Yes, here.
-
-BOY. Suppose he drops farther?
-
-SECOND POLICEMAN. The boy is right. He may get desperate and jump, land
-beyond the rope and hit some people in the crowd. I guess he weighs at
-least about two hundred pounds.
-
-FIRST POLICEMAN. Move on, move on, you! Where are you going? Is that
-your daughter, lady? Please take her away! The young man will soon fall.
-
-LADY. Soon? Did you say he is going to fall soon? Oh, heavens, and my
-husband's not here!
-
-LITTLE GIRL. He's in the café, mamma.
-
-LADY (desperately). Yes, of course. He's always in the café. Go call
-him, Nellie. Tell him the man will soon drop. Hurry! Hurry!
-
-VOICES. Waiter!--Garçon--Kellner--Three beers out here!--No
-beer?--What?--Say, that's a fine bar--We'll have some in a moment--Hurry
-up--Waiter!--Waiter!--Garçon!
-
-FIRST POLICEMAN. Say, boy, you're here again?
-
-BOY. I wanted to take the stone away.
-
-POLICEMAN. What for?
-
-BOY. So he shouldn't get hurt so badly when he falls.
-
-SECOND POLICEMAN. The boy is right. We ought to remove the stone. We
-ought to clear the place altogether. Isn't there any sawdust or sand
-about?
-
-(Two English tourists enter. They look at the unknown man through
-field-glasses and exchange remarks.)
-
-FIRST TOURIST. He's young.
-
-SECOND TOURIST. How old?
-
-FIRST TOURIST. Twenty-eight.
-
-SECOND TOURIST. Twenty-six. Fright has made him look older.
-
-FIRST TOURIST. How much will you bet?
-
-SECOND TOURIST. Ten to a hundred. Put it down.
-
-FIRST TOURIST (writing in his note-book. To the policeman). How did he
-got up there? Why don't they take him off?
-
-POLICEMAN. They tried, but they couldn't. Our ladders are too short.
-
-SECOND TOURIST. Has he been here long?
-
-POLICEMAN. Two days.
-
-FIRST TOURIST. Aha! He'll drop at night.
-
-SECOND TOURIST. In two hours. A hundred to a hundred.
-
-FIRST TOURIST. Put it down. (He shouts to the man on the rock.) How are
-you feeling? What? I can't hear you.
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (in a scarcely audible voice). Bad, very bad.
-
-LADY. Oh, heavens, and my husband is not here!
-
-LITTLE GIRL (running in). Papa said he'll get here in plenty of time.
-He's playing chess.
-
-LADY. Oh, heavens! Nellie, tell him he must come. I insist. But perhaps
-I had rather-- Will he fall soon, Mr. Policeman? No? Nellie, you go.
-I'll stay here and keep the place for papa.
-
-(A tall, lanky woman of unusually independent and military appearance
-and a tourist dispute for the same place. The tourist, a short, quiet,
-rather weak man, feebly defends his rights; the woman is resolute and
-aggressive.)
-
-TOURIST. But, lady, it is my place. I have been standing here for two
-hours.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. What do I care how long you have been standing here. I
-want this place. Do you understand? It offers a good view, and that's
-just what I want. Do you understand?
-
-TOURIST (weakly). It's what I want, too.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. I beg your pardon, what do you know about these things
-anyway?
-
-TOURIST. What knowledge is required? A man will fall. That's all.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN (mimicking). "A man will fall. That's all." Won't you
-have the goodness to tell me whether you have ever seen a man fall? No?
-Well, I did. Not one, but three. Two acrobats, one rope-walker and three
-aeronauts.
-
-TOURIST. That makes six.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN (mimicking). "That makes six." Say, you are a
-mathematical prodigy. And did you ever see a tiger tear a woman to
-pieces in a zoo, right before your eyes? Eh? What? Yes, exactly. Now, I
-did-- Please! Please!
-
-(The tourist steps aside, shrugging his shoulders with an air of injury,
-and the tall woman triumphantly takes possession of the stone she has
-won by her prowess. She sits down, spreading out around her her bag,
-handkerchiefs, peppermints, and medicine bottle, takes off her gloves
-and wipes her field-glass, glancing pleasantly on all around. Finally
-she turns to the lady who is waiting for her husband in the café.)
-
-MILITARY WOMAN (amiably). You will tire yourself out, dear. Why don't
-you sit down?
-
-LADY. Oh, my, don't talk about it. My legs are as stiff as that rock
-there.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. Men are so rude nowadays. They will never give their
-place to a woman. Have you brought peppermints with you?
-
-LADY (frightened). No. Why? Is it necessary?
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. When you keep looking up a long time you are bound to
-get sick. Sure thing. Have you spirits of ammonia? No? Good gracious,
-how thoughtless! How will they bring you back to consciousness when he
-falls? You haven't any smelling salts either, I dare say. Of course not.
-Have you anybody to take care of you, seeing that you are so helpless
-yourself?
-
-LADY (frightened). I will tell my husband. He is in the café.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. Your husband is a brute.
-
-POLICEMAN. Whose coat is this? Who threw this rag here?
-
-BOY. It's mine. I spread my coat there so that he doesn't hurt himself
-so badly when he falls.
-
-POLICEMAN. Take it away.
-
-(Two tourists armed with cameras contending for the same position.)
-
-FIRST TOURIST. I wanted this place.
-
-SECOND TOURIST. You wanted it, but I got it.
-
-FIRST TOURIST. You just came here. I have had this place for two days.
-
-SECOND TOURIST. Then why did you go without even leaving your shadow?
-
-FIRST TOURIST. I wasn't going to starve myself to death.
-
-COMB-VENDER (mysteriously). Tortoise-shell.
-
-TOURIST (savagely). Well?
-
-VENDER. Genuine tortoise-shell.
-
-TOURIST. Go to the devil.
-
-THIRD TOURIST, PHOTOGRAPHER. For heaven's sake, lady, you're sitting on
-my camera!
-
-LITTLE LADY. Oh! Where is it?
-
-TOURIST. Under you, under you, lady.
-
-LITTLE LADY. I am so tired. What a wretched camera you have. I thought
-it felt uncomfortable and I was wondering why. Now I know; I am sitting
-on your camera.
-
-TOURIST (agonized). Lady!
-
-LITTLE LADY. I thought it was a stone. I saw something lying there and I
-thought: A queer-looking stone; I wonder why it's so black. So that's
-what it was; it was your camera. I see.
-
-TOURIST (agonized). Lady, for heaven's sake!
-
-LITTLE LADY. Why is it so large, tell me. Cameras are small, but this
-one is so large. I swear I never had the faintest suspicion it was a
-camera. Can you take my picture? I would so much like to have my picture
-taken with the mountains here for a background, in this wonderful
-setting.
-
-TOURIST. How can I take your picture if you are sitting on my camera?
-
-LITTLE LADY (jumping up, frightened). Is it possible? You don't say so.
-Why didn't you tell me so? Does it take pictures?
-
-VOICES. Waiter, one beer!--What did you bring wine for?--I gave you my
-order long ago.--What will you have, sir?--One minute.--In a second.
-Waiter!--Waiter--Toothpicks!--
-
-(A fat tourist enters in haste, panting, surrounded by a numerous
-family.)
-
-TOURIST (crying). Mary! Aleck! Jimmie!--Where is Mary? For God's sake!
-Where is Mary?
-
-STUDENT (dismally). Here she is, papa.
-
-TOURIST. Where is she? Mary!
-
-GIRL. Here I am, papa.
-
-TOURIST. Where in the world are you? (He turns around.) Ah, there! What
-are you standing back of me for? Look, look! For goodness sake, where
-are you looking?
-
-GIRL (dismally). I don't know, papa.
-
-TOURIST. No, that's impossible. Imagine! She never once saw a lightning
-flash. She always keeps her eyes open as wide as onions, but the instant
-it flashes she closes them. So she never saw lightning, not once. Mary,
-you are missing it again. There it is! You see!
-
-STUDENT. She sees, papa.
-
-TOURIST. Keep an eye on her. (Suddenly dropping into tone of profound
-pity.) Ah, poor young man. Imagine! He'll fall from that high rock.
-Look, children, see how pale he is! That should be a lesson to you how
-dangerous climbing is.
-
-STUDENT (dismally). He won't fall to-day, papa!
-
-SECOND GIRL. Papa, Mary has closed her eyes again.
-
-FIRST STUDENT. Let us sit down, papa! Upon my word, he won't fall
-to-day. The porter told me so. I can't stand it any more. You've been
-dragging us about every day from morning till night visiting art
-galleries.
-
-TOURIST. What's that? For whose benefit am I doing this? Do you think I
-enjoy spending my time with a dunce?
-
-SECOND GIRL. Papa, Mary is blinking her eyes again.
-
-SECOND STUDENT. I can't stand it either. I have terrible dreams.
-Yesterday I dreamed of garçons the whole night long.
-
-TOURIST. Jimmie.
-
-FIRST STUDENT. I have gotten so thin I am nothing but skin and bones. I
-can't stand it any more, father. I'd rather be a farmer, or tend pigs.
-
-TOURIST. Aleck.
-
-FIRST STUDENT. If he were really to fall--but it's a fake. You believe
-every lie told you! They all lie. Baedecker lies, too. Yes, your
-Baedecker lies!
-
-MARY (dismally). Papa, children, he's beginning to fall.
-
-(The man on the rock shouts something down into the crowd. There is
-general commotion. Voices, "Look, he's falling." Field-glasses are
-raised; the photographers, violently agitated, click their cameras; the
-policemen diligently clean the place where he is to fall.)
-
-PHOTOGRAPHER. Oh, hang it! What is the matter with me? The devil! When a
-man's in a hurry--
-
-SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. Brother, your camera is closed.
-
-PHOTOGRAPHER. The devil take it.
-
-VOICES. Hush! He's getting ready to fall.-- No, he's saying
-something.--No, he's falling.--Hush!
-
-UNKNOWN MAN ON THE ROCK (faintly). Save me! Save me!
-
-TOURIST. Ah, poor young man. Mary, Jimmie, there's a tragedy for you.
-The sky is clear, the weather is beautiful, and has he to fall and be
-shattered to death? Can you realize how dreadful that is, Aleck?
-
-STUDENT (wearily). Yes, I can realize it.
-
-TOURIST. Mary, can you realize it? Imagine. There is the sky. There are
-people enjoying themselves and partaking of refreshments. Everything is
-so nice and pleasant, and he has to fall. What a tragedy! Do you
-remember Hamlet?
-
-SECOND GIRL (prompting). Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, of Alsinore.
-
-JAMES. Of Helsingfors, I know. Don't bother me, father!
-
-MARY (dismally). He dreamed about garçons all night long.
-
-ALECK. Why don't you order sandwiches, father.
-
-COMB-VENDER (mysteriously). Tortoise-shell. Genuine tortoise-shell.
-
-TOURIST (credulously). Stolen?
-
-VENDER. Why, sir, the idea!
-
-TOURIST (angrily). Do you mean to tell me it's genuine if it isn't
-stolen? Go on. Not much.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN (amiably). Are all these your children?
-
-TOURIST. Yes, madam. A father's duty. You see, they are protesting. It
-is the eternal conflict between fathers and children. Here is such a
-tragedy going on, such a heart-rending tragedy--Mary, you are blinking
-your eyes again.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. You are quite right. Children must be hardened to
-things. But why do you call this a terrible tragedy? Every roofer, when
-he falls, falls from a great height. But this here--what is it? A
-hundred, two hundred feet. I saw a man fall plumb from the sky.
-
-TOURIST (overwhelmed). You don't say?
-
-ALECK. Children, listen. Plumb from the sky.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. Yes, yes. I saw an aeronaut drop from the clouds and go
-crash upon an iron roof.
-
-TOURIST. How terrible!
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. That's what I call a tragedy. It took two hours to bring
-me back to consciousness, and all that time they pumped water on me, the
-scoundrels. I was nearly drowned. From that day on I never step out of
-the door without taking spirits of ammonia with me.
-
-(Enter a strolling troop of Italian singers and musicians: a short, fat
-tenor, with a reddish beard and large, watery, stupidly dreamy eyes,
-singing with extraordinary sweetness; a skinny humpback with a jockey
-cap, and a screeching baritone; a bass who is also a mandolinist,
-looking like a bandit; a girl with a violin, closing her eyes when she
-plays, so that only the whites are seen. They take their stand and begin
-to sing: "Sul mare luccica--Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia--")
-
-MARY (dismally). Papa, children, look. He is beginning to wave his
-hands.
-
-TOURIST. Is that the effect the music has upon him?
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. Quite possible. Music usually goes with such things. But
-that'll make him fall sooner than he should. Musicians, go away from
-here! Go!
-
-(A tall tourist, with up-curled mustache, violently gesticulating,
-enters, followed by a small group attracted by curiosity.)
-
-TALL TOURIST. It's scandalous. Why don't they save him? Ladies and
-gentlemen, you all heard him shout: "Save me." Didn't you?
-
-THE CURIOUS (in chorus). Yes, yes, we heard him.
-
-TALL TOURIST. There you are. I distinctly heard these words: "Save me!
-Why don't they save me?" It's scandalous. Policemen, policemen! Why
-don't you save him? What are you doing there?
-
-POLICEMEN. We are cleaning up the place for him to fall.
-
-TALL TOURIST. That's a sensible thing to do, too. But why don't you save
-him? You ought to save him. If a man asks you to save him, it is
-absolutely essential to save him. Isn't it so, ladies and gentlemen?
-
-THE CURIOUS (in chorus). True, absolutely true. It is essential to save
-him.
-
-TALL TOURIST (with heat). We are not heathens, we are Christians. We
-should love our neighbors. When a man asks to be saved every measure
-which the government has at its command should be taken to save him.
-Policeman, have you taken every measure?
-
-POLICEMAN. Every one!
-
-TALL TOURIST. Every one without exception? Gentleman, every measure has
-been taken. Listen, young man, every measure has been taken to save you.
-Did you hear?
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (in a scarcely audible voice). Save me!
-
-TALL TOURIST (excitedly). Gentlemen, did you hear? He again asked to be
-saved. Policeman, did you hear?
-
-ONE OF THE CURIOUS (timidly). It is my opinion that it is absolutely
-necessary to save him.
-
-TALL TOURIST. That's right. Exactly. Why, that's what I have been saying
-for the last two hours. Policeman, do you hear? It is scandalous.
-
-ONE OF THE CURIOUS (a little bolder). It is my opinion that an appeal
-should be made to the highest authority.
-
-THE REST (in chorus). Yes, yes, a complaint should be made. It is
-scandalous. The government ought not to leave any of its citizens in
-danger. We all pay taxes. He must be saved.
-
-TALL TOURIST. Didn't I say so? Of course we must put up a complaint.
-Young man! Listen, young man. Do you pay taxes? What? I can't hear.
-
-TOURIST. Jimmie, Katie, listen! What a tragedy! Ah, the poor young man!
-He is soon to fall and they ask him to pay a domiciliary tax.
-
-KATE (the girl with glasses, pedantically). That can hardly be called a
-domicile, father. The meaning of domicile is--
-
-JAMES (pinching her). Lickspittle.
-
-MARY (wearily). Papa, children, look! He's again beginning to fall.
-
-(There is excitement in the crowd, and again a bustling and shouting
-among the photographers.)
-
-TALL TOURIST. We must hurry, ladies and gentlemen. He must be saved at
-any cost. Who's going with me?
-
-THE CURIOUS (in chorus). We are all going! We are all going?
-
-TALL TOURIST. Policeman, did you hear? Come, ladies and gentlemen!
-
-(They depart, fiercely gesticulating. The café grows more lively. The
-sound of clinking beer glasses and the clatter of steins is heard, and
-the beginning of a loud German song. The bartender, who has forgotten
-himself while talking to somebody, starts suddenly and runs off, looks
-up to the sky with a hopeless air and wipes the perspiration from his
-face with his napkin. Angry calls of Waiter! Waiter!)
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (rather loudly). Can you let me have some soda water?
-
-(The waiter is startled, looks at the sky, glances at the man on the
-rock, and pretending not to have heard him, walks away.)
-
-MANY VOICES. Waiter! Beer!
-
-WAITER. One moment, one moment!
-
-(Two drunken men come out from the café.)
-
-LADY. Ah, there is my husband. Come here quick.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. A downright brute.
-
-DRUNKEN MAN (waving his hand to the unknown man). Say, is it very bad up
-there? Hey?
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (rather loudly). Yes, it's bad. I am sick and tired of it.
-
-DRUNKEN MAN. Can't you get a drink?
-
-UNKNOWN MAN. No, how can I?
-
-SECOND DRUNKEN MAN. Say, what are you talking about? How can he get a
-drink? The man is about to die and you tempt him and try to get him
-excited. Listen, up there, we have been drinking your health right
-along. It won't hurt you, will it?
-
-FIRST DRUNKEN MAN. Ah, go on! What are you talking about? How can it
-hurt him? Why, it will only do him good. It will encourage him. Listen,
-honest to God, we are very sorry for you, but don't mind us. We are
-going to the café to have another drink. Good-bye.
-
-SECOND DRUNKEN MAN. Look, what a crowd.
-
-FIRST DRUNKEN MAN. Come, or he'll fall and then they'll close the café.
-
-(Enter a new crowd of tourists, a very elegant gentleman, the chief
-correspondent of European newspapers at their head. He is followed by an
-ecstatic whisper of respect and admiration. Many leave the café to look
-at him, and even the waiter turns slightly around, glances at him
-quickly, smiles happily and continues on his way, spilling something
-from his tray.)
-
-VOICES. The correspondent! The correspondent! Look!
-
-LADY. Oh, my, and my husband is gone again!
-
-TOURIST. Jimmie, Mary, Aleck, Katie, Charlie, look! This is the chief
-correspondent. Do you realize it? The very highest of all. Whatever he
-writes goes.
-
-KATE. Mary, dear, again you are not looking.
-
-ALECK. I wish you would order some sandwiches for us. I can't stand it
-any longer. A human being has to eat.
-
-TOURIST (ecstatically). What a tragedy! Katie dear, can you realize it?
-Consider how awful. The weather is so beautiful, and the chief
-correspondent. Take out your note-book, Jimmie.
-
-JAMES. I lost it, father.
-
-CORRESPONDENT. Where is he?
-
-VOICES (obligingly). There, there he is. There! A little higher. Still
-higher! A little lower! No, higher!
-
-CORRESPONDENT. If you please, if you please, ladies and gentlemen, I
-will find him myself. Oh, yes, there he is. Hm! What a situation!
-
-TOURIST. Won't you have a chair?
-
-CORRESPONDENT. Thank you. (Sits down.) Hm! What a situation! Very
-interesting. Very interesting, indeed. (Whisks out his note-book;
-amiably to the photographers.) Have you taken any pictures yet,
-gentlemen?
-
-FIRST PHOTOGRAPHER. Yes, sir, certainly, certainly. We have photographed
-the place showing the general character of the locality--
-
-SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. The tragic situation of the young man--
-
-CORRESPONDENT. Ye-es, very, very interesting.
-
-TOURIST. Did you hear, Aleck? This smart man, the chief correspondent,
-says it's interesting, and you keep bothering about sandwiches. Dunce!
-
-ALECK. May be he has had his dinner already.
-
-CORRESPONDENT. Ladies and gentlemen, I beg you to be quiet.
-
-OBLIGING VOICES. It is quieter in the café.
-
-CORRESPONDENT (shouts to the unknown man). Permit me to introduce
-myself. I am the chief correspondent of the European press. I have been
-sent here at the special request of the editors. I should like to ask
-you several questions concerning your situation. What is your name? What
-is your general position? How old are you? (The unknown man mumbles
-something.)
-
-CORRESPONDENT (a little puzzled). I can't hear a thing. Has he been that
-way all the time?
-
-VOICES. Yes, it's impossible to hear a word he says.
-
-CORRESPONDENT (jotting down something in his note-book). Fine! Are you a
-bachelor? (The unknown man mumbles.)
-
-CORRESPONDENT. I can't hear you. Are you married? Yes?
-
-TOURIST. He said he was a bachelor.
-
-SECOND TOURIST. No, he didn't. Of course, he's married.
-
-CORRESPONDENT (carelessly). You think so? All right. We'll put down,
-married. How many children have you? Can't hear! It seems to me he said
-three. Hm! Anyway, we'll put down five.
-
-TOURIST. Oh, my, what a tragedy. Five children! Imagine!
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. He is lying.
-
-CORRESPONDENT (shouting). How did you get into this position? What? I
-can't hear? Louder! Repeat. What did you say? (Perplexed, to the crowd.)
-What did he say? The fellow has a devilishly weak voice.
-
-FIRST TOURIST. It seems to me he said that he lost his way.
-
-SECOND TOURIST. No, he doesn't know himself how he got there.
-
-VOICES. He was out hunting.--He was climbing up the rocks.--No, no! He
-is simply a lunatic!
-
-CORRESPONDENT. I beg your pardon, I beg your pardon, ladies and
-gentlemen! Anyway, he didn't drop from the sky. However-- (He quickly
-jots down in his note-book.) Unhappy young man--suffering from childhood
-with attacks of lunacy.--The bright light of the full moon--the wild
-rocks.--Sleepy janitor--didn't notice--
-
-FIRST TOURIST (to the second, in a whisper). But it's new moon now.
-
-SECOND TOURIST. Go, what does a layman know about astronomy.
-
-TOURIST (ecstatically). Mary, pay attention to this! You have before you
-an ocular demonstration of the influence of the moon on living
-organisms. What a terrible tragedy to go out walking on a moonlit night
-and find suddenly that you have climbed to a place whence it is
-impossible to climb down or be taken down.
-
-CORRESPONDENT (shouting). What feelings are you experiencing? I can't
-hear. Louder! Ah, so? Well, well! What a situation!
-
-CROWD (interested). Listen, listen! Let's hear what his feelings are.
-How terrible!
-
-CORRESPONDENT (writes in his note-book, tossing out detached remarks).
-Mortal terror numbs his limbs.--A cold shiver goes down his spinal
-column.--No hope.--Before his mental vision rises a picture of family
-bliss: Wife making sandwiches; his five children innocently lisping
-their love.--Grandma in the arm-chair with a tube to her ear, that is,
-grandpa in the arm-chair, with a tube to _his_ ear and grandma.--Deeply
-moved by the sympathy of the public.--His last wish before his death
-that the words he uttered with his last breath should be published in
-our newspapers--
-
-MILITARY WOMAN (indignantly). My! He lies like a salesman.
-
-MARY (wearily). Papa, children, look, he is starting to fall again.
-
-TOURIST (angrily). Don't bother me. Such a tragedy is unfolding itself
-right before your very eyes--and you-- What are you making such big eyes
-for again?
-
-CORRESPONDENT (shouting). Hold on fast. That's it! My last question:
-What message do you wish to leave for your fellow citizens before you
-depart for the better world?
-
-UNKNOWN MAN. That they may all go to the devil.
-
-CORRESPONDENT. What? Hm, yes-- (He writes quickly.) Ardent love--is a
-stanch opponent of the law granting equal rights to negroes. His last
-words: "Let the black niggers--"
-
-PASTOR (out of breath, pushing through the crowd). Where is he? Ah,
-there! Poor young man. Has there been no clergyman here yet? No? Thank
-you. Am I the first?
-
-CORRESPONDENT (writes). A touching dramatic moment.--A minister has
-arrived.--All are trembling on the verge of suspense. Many are shedding
-tears--
-
-PASTOR. Excuse me, excuse me! Ladies and gentlemen, a lost soul wishes
-to make its peace with God-- (He shouts.) My son, don't you wish to make
-your peace with God? Confess your sins to me. I will grant you remission
-at once! What? I cannot hear?
-
-CORRESPONDENT (writes). The air is shaken with the people's groans. The
-minister of the church exhorts the criminal, that is, the unfortunate
-man, in touching language.--The unfortunate creature with tears in his
-eyes thanks him in a faint voice--
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (faintly). If you won't go away I will jump on your head. I
-weigh three hundred pounds. (All jump away frightened behind each
-other.)
-
-VOICES. He is falling! He is falling!
-
-TOURIST (agitatingly). Mary, Aleck, Jimmie.
-
-POLICEMAN (energetically). Clear the place, please! Move on!
-
-LADY. Nellie, go quick and tell your father he is falling.
-
-PHOTOGRAPHER (in despair). Oh my, I am out of films (tosses madly about,
-looking pitifully at the unknown man). One minute, I'll go and get them.
-I have some in my overcoat pocket over there. (He walks a short
-distance, keeping his eyes fixed on the unknown man, and then returns.)
-I can't, I am afraid I'll miss it. Good heavens! They are over there in
-my overcoat. Just one minute, please. I'll fetch them right away. What a
-fix.
-
-PASTOR. Hurry, my friend. Pull yourself together and try to hold out
-long enough to tell me at least your principal sins. You needn't mention
-the lesser ones.
-
-TOURIST. What a tragedy?
-
-CORRESPONDENT (writes). The criminal, that is, the unhappy man, makes a
-public confession and does penance. Terrible secrets revealed. He is a
-bank robber--blew up safes.
-
-TOURIST (credulously). The scoundrel.
-
-PASTOR (shouts). In the first place, have you killed? Secondly, have you
-stolen? Thirdly, have you committed adultery?
-
-TOURIST. Mary, Jimmie, Katie, Aleck, Charlie, close your ears.
-
-CORRESPONDENT (writing). Tremendous excitement in the crowd.--Shouts of
-indignation.
-
-PASTOR (hurriedly). Fourthly, have you blasphemed? Fifthly, have you
-coveted your neighbor's ass, his ox, his slave, his wife? Sixthly--
-
-PHOTOGRAPHER (alarmed). Ladies and gentlemen, an ass!
-
-SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. Where? I can't see it!
-
-PHOTOGRAPHER (calmed). I thought I heard it.
-
-PASTOR. I congratulate you, my son! I congratulate you! You have made
-your peace with God. Now you may rest easy--Oh, God, what do I see? The
-Salvation Army! Policeman, chase them away!
-
-(Enter a Salvation Army band, men and women in uniforms. There are only
-three instruments, a drum, a violin and a piercingly shrill trumpet.)
-
-SALVATION ARMY MAN (frantically beating his drum and shouting in a nasal
-voice). Brethren and sisters--
-
-PASTOR (shouting even louder in a still more nasal voice in an effort to
-drown the other's). He has already confessed. Bear witness, ladies and
-gentlemen, that he has confessed and made his peace with heaven.
-
-SALVATION ARMY WOMAN (climbing on a rock and shrieking). I once wandered
-in the dark just as this sinner and I lived a bad life and was a
-drunkard, but when the light of truth--
-
-A VOICE. Why, she is drunk now.
-
-PASTOR. Policeman, didn't he confess and make his peace with heaven?
-
-(The Salvation Army man continues to beat his drum frantically; the rest
-begin to drawl a song. Shouts, laughter, whistling. Singing in the café,
-and calls of "Waiter!" in all languages. The bewildered policemen tear
-themselves away from the pastor, who is pulling them somewhere; the
-photographers turn and twist about as if the seats were burning under
-them. An English lady comes riding in on a donkey, who, stopping
-suddenly, sprawls out his legs and refuses to go farther, adding his
-noise to the rest. Gradually the noise subsides. The Salvation Army band
-solemnly withdraws, and the pastor, waving his hands, follows them.)
-
-FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST (to the other). How impolite! This crowd doesn't
-know how to behave itself.
-
-SECOND ENGLISH TOURIST. Come, let's go away from here.
-
-FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST. One minute. (He shouts.) Listen, won't you hurry
-up and fall?
-
-SECOND ENGLISH TOURIST. What are you saying, Sir William?
-
-FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST (shouting). Don't you see that's what they are
-waiting for? As a gentleman you should grant them this pleasure and so
-escape the humiliation of undergoing tortures before this mob.
-
-SECOND ENGLISH TOURIST. Sir William.
-
-TOURIST (ecstatically). See? It's true. Aleck, Jimmie, it's true. What a
-tragedy!
-
-SEVERAL TOURISTS (going for the Englishman). How dare you?
-
-FIRST ENGLISH TOURIST (shoving them aside). Hurry up and fall! Do you
-hear? If you haven't the backbone I'll help you out with a pistol shot.
-
-VOICES. That red-haired devil has gone clear out of his mind.
-
-POLICEMAN (seizing the Englishman's hand). You have no right to do it,
-it's against the law. I'll arrest you.
-
-SOME TOURISTS. A barbarous nation!
-
-(The unknown man shouts something. Excitement below.)
-
-VOICES. Hear, hear, hear!
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (aloud). Take that jackass away to the devil. He wants to
-shoot me. And tell the boss that I can't stand it any longer.
-
-VOICES. What's that? What boss? He is losing his mind, the poor man.
-
-TOURIST. Aleck! Mary! This is a mad scene. Jimmie, you remember Hamlet?
-Quick.
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (angrily). Tell him my spinal column is broken.
-
-MARY (wearily). Papa, children, he's beginning to kick with his legs.
-
-KATE. Is that what is called convulsions, papa?
-
-TOURIST (rapturously). I don't know. I think it is. What a tragedy?
-
-ALECK (glumly). You fool! You keep cramming and cramming and you don't
-know that the right name for that is agony. And you wear eye-glasses,
-too. I can't bear it any longer, papa.
-
-TOURIST. Think of it, children. A man is about to fall down to his death
-and he is bothering about his spinal column.
-
-(There is a noise. A man in a white vest, very much frightened, enters,
-almost dragged by angry tourists. He smiles, bows on all sides,
-stretches out his arms, now running forward as he is pushed, now trying
-to escape in the crowd, but is seized and pulled again.)
-
-VOICES. A bare-faced deception! It is an outrage. Policeman, policeman,
-he must be taught a lesson!
-
-OTHER VOICES. What is it? What deception? What is it all about? They
-have caught a thief!
-
-THE MAN IN THE WHITE VEST (bowing and smiling). It's a joke, ladies and
-gentlemen, a joke, that's all. The people were bored, so I wanted to
-provide a little amusement for them.
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (angrily). Boss!
-
-THE MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. Wait a while, wait a while.
-
-UNKNOWN MAN. Do you expect me to stay here until the Second Advent? The
-agreement was till twelve o'clock. What time is it now?
-
-TALL TOURIST (indignantly). Do you hear, ladies and gentlemen? This
-scoundrel, this man here in the white vest hired that other scoundrel up
-there and just simply tied him to the rock.
-
-VOICES. Is he tied?
-
-TALL TOURIST. Yes, he is tied and he can't fall. We are excited and
-worrying, but he couldn't fall even if he tried.
-
-UNKNOWN MAN. What else do you want? Do you think I am going to break my
-neck for your measly ten dollars? Boss, I can't stand it any more. One
-man wanted to shoot me. The pastor preached me for two hours. This is
-not in the agreement.
-
-ALECK. Father, I told you that Baedecker lies. You believe everything
-anybody tells you and drag us about without eating.
-
-MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. The people were bored. My only desire was to
-amuse the people.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? I don't understand a thing. Why
-isn't he going to fall? Who, then, is going to fall?
-
-TOURIST. I don't understand a thing either. Of course he's got to fall!
-
-JAMES. You never understand anything, father. Weren't you told that he's
-tied to the rock?
-
-ALECK. You can't convince him. He loves every Baedecker more than his
-own children.
-
-JAMES. A nice father!
-
-TOURIST. Silence!
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? He must fall.
-
-TALL TOURIST. The idea! What a deception. You'll have to explain this.
-
-MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. The people were bored. Excuse me, ladies and
-gentlemen, but wishing to accommodate you--give you a few hours of
-pleasant excitement--elevate your spirits--inspire you with altruistic
-sentiments--
-
-ENGLISHMAN. Is the café yours?
-
-MAN IN THE WHITE VEST. Yes.
-
-ENGLISHMAN. And is the hotel below also yours?
-
-GENTLEMAN. Yes. The people were bored--
-
-CORRESPONDENT (writing). The proprietor of the café, desiring to
-increase his profits from the sale of alcoholic beverages, exploits the
-best human sentiments.--The people's indignation--
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (angrily). Boss, will you have me taken off at once or won't
-you?
-
-HOTEL KEEPER. What do you want up there? Aren't you satisfied? Didn't I
-have you taken off at night?
-
-UNKNOWN MAN. Well, I should say so. You think I'd be hanging here
-nights, too!
-
-HOTEL OWNER. Then you can stand it a few minutes longer. The people are
-bored--
-
-TALL TOURIST. Say, have you any idea of what you have done? Do you
-realize the enormity of it? You are scoundrels, who for your own sordid
-personal ends have impiously exploited the finest human sentiment, love
-of one's neighbor. You have caused us to undergo fear and suffering. You
-have poisoned our hearts with pity. And now, what is the upshot of it
-all? The upshot is that this scamp, your vile accomplice, is bound to
-the rock and not only will he not fall as everybody expects, but he
-_can't_.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. What is the matter? He has got to fall.
-
-TOURIST. Policeman! Policeman!
-
-(The pastor enters, out of breath.)
-
-PASTOR. What? Is he still living? Oh, there he is! What fakirs those
-Salvationists are.
-
-VOICES. Don't you know that he is bound?
-
-PASTOR. Bound! Bound to what? To life? Well, we are all bound to life
-until death snaps the cord. But whether he is bound or not bound, I
-reconciled him with heaven, and that's enough. But those fakirs--
-
-TOURIST. Policeman! Policeman, you must draw up an official report.
-There is no way out of it.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN (going for the hotel owner). I will not allow myself to
-be fooled. I saw an aeronaut drop from the clouds and go crash upon a
-roof. I saw a tiger tear a woman to pieces--
-
-PHOTOGRAPHER. I spoiled three films photographing that scamp. You will
-have to answer for this, sir. I will hold you responsible.
-
-TOURIST. An official report! An official report! Such a bare-faced
-deception. Mary, Jimmie, Aleck, Charlie, call a policeman.
-
-HOTEL KEEPER (drawing back, in despair). But, I can't make him fall if
-he doesn't want to. I did everything in my power, ladies and gentlemen!
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. I will not allow it.
-
-HOTEL KEEPER. Excuse me. I promise you on my word of honor that the next
-time he will fall. But he doesn't want to, to-day.
-
-UNKNOWN MAN. What's that? What did you say about the next time?
-
-HOTEL KEEPER. You shut up there!
-
-UNKNOWN MAN. For ten dollars?
-
-PASTOR. Pray, what impudence! I just made his peace with heaven when he
-was in danger of his life. You have heard him threatening to fall on my
-head, haven't you? And still he is dissatisfied. Adulterer, thief,
-murderer, coveter of your neighbor's ass--
-
-PHOTOGRAPHER. Ladies and gentlemen, an ass!
-
-SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. Where, where is an ass?
-
-PHOTOGRAPHER (calmed). I thought I heard one.
-
-SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. It is you who are an ass. I have become cross-eyed
-on account of your shouting: "An ass! An ass!"
-
-MARY (wearily). Papa, children, look! A policeman is coming.
-
-(Excitement and noise. On one side a crowd pulling a policeman, on the
-other the hotel keeper; both keep crying: "Excuse me! Excuse me!")
-
-TOURIST. Policeman, there he is, the fakir, the swindler.
-
-PASTOR. Policeman, there he is, the adulterer, the murderer, the coveter
-of his neighbor's ass--
-
-POLICEMAN. Excuse me, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. We will bring him
-to his senses in short order and make him confess.
-
-HOTEL KEEPER. I can't make him fall if he doesn't want to.
-
-POLICEMAN. Hey, you, young man out there! Can you fall or can't you?
-Confess!
-
-UNKNOWN MAN (sullenly). I don't want to fall!
-
-VOICES. Aha, he has confessed. What a scoundrel!
-
-TALL TOURIST. Write down what I dictate, policeman-- "Desiring--for the
-sake of gain to exploit the sentiment of love of one's neighbor--the
-sacred feeling--a-a-a--"
-
-TOURIST. Listen children, they are drawing up an official report. What
-exquisite choice of language!
-
-TALL TOURIST. The sacred feeling which--
-
-POLICEMAN (writing with painful effort, his tongue stuck out). Love of
-one's neighbor--the sacred feeling which--
-
-MARY (wearily). Papa, children, look! An advertisement is coming.
-
-(Enter musicians with trumpets and drums, a man at their head carrying
-on a long pole a huge placard with the picture of an absolutely bald
-head, and printed underneath: "I was bald.")
-
-UNKNOWN MAN. Too late. They are drawing up a report here. You had better
-skidoo!
-
-THE MAN CARRYING THE POLE (stopping and speaking in a loud voice). I had
-been bald from the day of my birth and for a long time thereafter. That
-miserable growth, which in my tenth year covered my scalp was more like
-wool than real hair. When I was married my skull was as bare as a pillow
-and my young bride--
-
-TOURIST. What a tragedy! Newly married and with such a head! Can you
-realize how dreadful that is, children?
-
-(All listen with interest, even the policeman stopping in his arduous
-task and inclining his ear with his pen in his hand.)
-
-THE MAN CARRYING THE POLE (solemnly). And the time came when my
-matrimonial happiness literally hung by a hair. All the medicines
-recommended by quacks to make my hair grow--
-
-TOURIST. Your note-book, Jimmie.
-
-MILITARY WOMAN. But when is he going to fall?
-
-HOTEL KEEPER (amiably). The next time, lady, the next time. I won't tie
-him so hard--you understand?
-
- (Curtain.)
-
-
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- Transcriber's Notes
-
-
-The original spelling was mostly preserved. A few obvious typographical
-errors were silently corrected. All other changes are listed here
-(before/after):
-
- [p. 15]:
- ... is no nice and pleasant, and he has to fall. What a ...
- ... is so nice and pleasant, and he has to fall. What a ...
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Glebe 1914/01 (Vol. 1, No. 4):
-Love of One's Neighbor, by Leonid Andreyev
-
-*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GLEBE 1914/01 (VOL. 1 ***
-
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-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Glebe 1914/01 (Vol. 1, No. 4): Love of
-One's Neighbor, by Leonid Andreyev
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Glebe 1914/01 (Vol. 1, No. 4): Love of One's Neighbor
-
-Author: Leonid Andreyev
-
-Editor: Alfred Kreymborg
- Man Ray
-
-Translator: Thomas Seltzer
-
-Release Date: August 8, 2020 [EBook #62880]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GLEBE 1914/01 (VOL. 1 ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Jens Sadowski and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net. This book was
-produced from images made available by the Blue Mountain
-Project, Princeton University.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="centerpic">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" alt="" /></div>
-
-<div class="coverpage">
-<p class="tit">
-Love of One&rsquo;s Neighbor
-</p>
-
-<p class="journal">
-THE<br />
-GLEBE
-</p>
-
-<p class="issue">
-VOLUME 1<br />
-NUMBER 4
-</p>
-
-<p class="issue">
-JANUARY<br />
-1914
-</p>
-
-<p class="price">
-SUBSCRIPTION<br />
-Three Dollars Yearly<br />
-THIS ISSUE 35 CENTS
-</p>
-
-<p class="aut">
-<span class="line1">By Leonid Andreyev</span>
-</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="frontmatter chapter">
-<p class="first editorial">
-<span class="firstchar">T</span><span class="postfirstchar">he</span> only editorial policy of THE GLEBE is
-that embodied in its declaration of absolute
-freedom of expression, which makes for a range
-broad enough to include every temperament from
-the most radical to the most conservative, the only
-requisite being that the work should have unmistakable
-merit. Each issue will be devoted exclusively
-to one individual, thereby giving him an opportunity
-to present his work in sufficient bulk to
-make it possible for the reader to obtain a much
-more comprehensive grasp of his personality than is
-afforded him in the restricted space allotted by the
-other magazines. Published monthly, or more frequently
-if possible, THE GLEBE will issue twelve
-to twenty books per year, chosen on their merits
-alone, since the subscription list does away with the
-need of catering to the popular demand that confronts
-every publisher. Thus, THE GLEBE can
-promise the best work of American and foreign
-authors, known and unknown.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-The price of each issue of THE GLEBE will vary
-with the cost of publication, but the yearly subscription,
-including special numbers, is three dollars.
-</p>
-
-<p class="sign">
-Editor<br />
-ALFRED KREYMBORG
-</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="frontmatter chapter">
-<p class="halftitle">
-LOVE OF ONE&rsquo;S NEIGHBOR
-</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="frontmatter chapter">
-<h1 class="title">
-LOVE OF ONE&rsquo;S NEIGHBOR
-</h1>
-
-<p class="aut">
-<span class="line1">BY</span><br />
-<span class="line2">LEONID ANDREYEV</span>
-</p>
-
-<p class="trn">
-<span class="line1">AUTHORIZED TRANSLATION BY</span><br />
-<span class="line2">THOMAS SELTZER</span>
-</p>
-
-<div class="centerpic logo">
-<img src="images/logo.jpg" alt="" /></div>
-
-<p class="pub">
-NEW YORK<br />
-ALBERT AND CHARLES BONI<br />
-96 FIFTH AVENUE<br />
-1914
-</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="frontmatter chapter">
-<p class="cop">
-Copyright, 1914<br />
-By<br />
-Albert and Charles Boni
-</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="tit2">
-<a id="page-5" class="pagenum" title="5"></a>
-LOVE OF ONE&rsquo;S NEIGHBOR
-</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<p>
-<span class="hdr">Scene.</span> <span class="sd">A wild place in the mountains.</span>
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">A man in an attitude of despair is standing on a
-tiny projection of a rock that rises almost sheer
-from the ground. How he got there it is not easy to
-say, but he cannot be reached either from above or
-below. Short ladders, ropes and sticks show that
-attempts have been made to save the unknown person,
-but without success.</span>
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="sd">It seems that the unhappy man has been in that
-desperate position a long time. A considerable crowd
-has already collected, extremely varied in composition.
-There are venders of cold drinks; there is a
-whole little bar behind which the bartender skips
-about out of breath and perspiring&mdash;he has more
-on his hands than he can attend to; there are peddlers
-selling picture postal cards, coral beads, souvenirs,
-and all sorts of trash. One fellow is stubbornly trying
-to dispose of a tortoise-shell comb, which is
-really not tortoise-shell. Tourists keep pouring in
-<a id="page-6" class="pagenum" title="6"></a>
-from all sides, attracted by the report that a catastrophe
-is impending&mdash;Englishmen, Americans, Germans,
-Russians, Frenchmen, Italians, etc., with all
-their peculiar national traits of character, manner
-and dress. Nearly all carry alpenstocks, field-glasses
-and cameras. The conversation is in different languages,
-all of which, for the convenience of the
-reader, we shall translate into English.</span>
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="sd">At the foot of the rock where the unknown man
-is to fall, two policemen are chasing the children
-away and partitioning off a space, drawing a rope
-around short stakes stuck in the ground. It is noisy
-and jolly.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> Get away, you loafer! The man&rsquo;ll
-fall on your head and then your mother and father
-will be making a hullabaloo about it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Boy.</span> Will he fall here?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> Yes, here.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Boy.</span> Suppose he drops farther?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Policeman.</span> The boy is right. He
-may get desperate and jump, land beyond the rope
-and hit some people in the crowd. I guess he weighs
-at least about two hundred pounds.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Policeman.</span> Move on, move on, you!
-Where are you going? Is that your daughter, lady?
-Please take her away! The young man will soon
-fall.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-7" class="pagenum" title="7"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Lady.</span> Soon? Did you say he is going to fall
-soon? Oh, heavens, and my husband&rsquo;s not here!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Little Girl.</span> He&rsquo;s in the café, mamma.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Lady</span> (<span class="sd">desperately</span>). Yes, of course. He&rsquo;s always
-in the café. Go call him, Nellie. Tell him the
-man will soon drop. Hurry! Hurry!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> Waiter!&mdash;Garçon&mdash;Kellner&mdash;Three
-beers out here!&mdash;No beer?&mdash;What?&mdash;Say, that&rsquo;s a
-fine bar&mdash;We&rsquo;ll have some in a moment&mdash;Hurry
-up&mdash;Waiter!&mdash;Waiter!&mdash;Garçon!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Policeman.</span> Say, boy, you&rsquo;re here again?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Boy.</span> I wanted to take the stone away.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> What for?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Boy.</span> So he shouldn&rsquo;t get hurt so badly when he
-falls.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Policeman.</span> The boy is right. We
-ought to remove the stone. We ought to clear the
-place altogether. Isn&rsquo;t there any sawdust or sand
-about?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">Two English tourists enter. They look at the
-unknown man through field-glasses and exchange
-remarks.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist.</span> He&rsquo;s young.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> How old?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist.</span> Twenty-eight.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> Twenty-six. Fright has made
-him look older.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-8" class="pagenum" title="8"></a>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist.</span> How much will you bet?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> Ten to a hundred. Put it
-down.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">writing in his note-book. To
-the policeman</span>). How did he got up there? Why
-don&rsquo;t they take him off?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> They tried, but they couldn&rsquo;t. Our
-ladders are too short.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> Has he been here long?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> Two days.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist.</span> Aha! He&rsquo;ll drop at night.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> In two hours. A hundred to
-a hundred.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist.</span> Put it down. (<span class="sd">He shouts to
-the man on the rock.</span>) How are you feeling?
-What? I can&rsquo;t hear you.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">in a scarcely audible voice</span>).
-Bad, very bad.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Lady.</span> Oh, heavens, and my husband is not
-here!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Little Girl</span> (<span class="sd">running in</span>). Papa said he&rsquo;ll get
-here in plenty of time. He&rsquo;s playing chess.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Lady.</span> Oh, heavens! Nellie, tell him he must
-come. I insist. But perhaps I had rather&mdash; Will
-he fall soon, Mr. Policeman? No? Nellie, you
-go. I&rsquo;ll stay here and keep the place for papa.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">A tall, lanky woman of unusually independent
-<a id="page-9" class="pagenum" title="9"></a>
-and military appearance and a tourist dispute for the
-same place. The tourist, a short, quiet, rather weak
-man, feebly defends his rights; the woman is resolute
-and aggressive.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> But, lady, it is my place. I have been
-standing here for two hours.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> What do I care how long
-you have been standing here. I want this place. Do
-you understand? It offers a good view, and that&rsquo;s
-just what I want. Do you understand?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">weakly</span>). It&rsquo;s what I want, too.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> I beg your pardon, what
-do you know about these things anyway?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> What knowledge is required? A man
-will fall. That&rsquo;s all.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman</span> (<span class="sd">mimicking</span>). &ldquo;A man will
-fall. That&rsquo;s all.&rdquo; Won&rsquo;t you have the goodness to
-tell me whether you have ever seen a man fall?
-No? Well, I did. Not one, but three. Two acrobats,
-one rope-walker and three aeronauts.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> That makes six.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman</span> (<span class="sd">mimicking</span>). &ldquo;That makes
-six.&rdquo; Say, you are a mathematical prodigy. And
-did you ever see a tiger tear a woman to pieces in a
-zoo, right before your eyes? Eh? What? Yes,
-exactly. Now, I did&mdash; Please! Please!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">The tourist steps aside, shrugging his shoulders
-<a id="page-10" class="pagenum" title="10"></a>
-with an air of injury, and the tall woman triumphantly
-takes possession of the stone she has won
-by her prowess. She sits down, spreading out
-around her her bag, handkerchiefs, peppermints,
-and medicine bottle, takes off her gloves and wipes
-her field-glass, glancing pleasantly on all around.
-Finally she turns to the lady who is waiting for her
-husband in the café.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman</span> (amiably). You will tire
-yourself out, dear. Why don&rsquo;t you sit down?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Lady.</span> Oh, my, don&rsquo;t talk about it. My legs are
-as stiff as that rock there.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> Men are so rude nowadays.
-They will never give their place to a woman.
-Have you brought peppermints with you?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Lady</span> (<span class="sd">frightened</span>). No. Why? Is it necessary?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> When you keep looking up
-a long time you are bound to get sick. Sure thing.
-Have you spirits of ammonia? No? Good gracious,
-how thoughtless! How will they bring you
-back to consciousness when he falls? You haven&rsquo;t
-any smelling salts either, I dare say. Of course not.
-Have you anybody to take care of you, seeing that
-you are so helpless yourself?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Lady</span> (<span class="sd">frightened</span>). I will tell my husband. He
-is in the café.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-11" class="pagenum" title="11"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> Your husband is a brute.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> Whose coat is this? Who threw
-this rag here?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Boy.</span> It&rsquo;s mine. I spread my coat there so that
-he doesn&rsquo;t hurt himself so badly when he falls.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> Take it away.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">Two tourists armed with cameras contending
-for the same position.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist.</span> I wanted this place.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> You wanted it, but I got it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist.</span> You just came here. I have
-had this place for two days.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> Then why did you go without
-even leaving your shadow?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist.</span> I wasn&rsquo;t going to starve myself
-to death.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Comb-Vender</span> (<span class="sd">mysteriously</span>). Tortoise-shell.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">savagely</span>). Well?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Vender.</span> Genuine tortoise-shell.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Go to the devil.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Third Tourist, Photographer.</span> For heaven&rsquo;s
-sake, lady, you&rsquo;re sitting on my camera!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Little Lady.</span> Oh! Where is it?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Under you, under you, lady.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Little Lady.</span> I am so tired. What a wretched
-camera you have. I thought it felt uncomfortable
-<a id="page-12" class="pagenum" title="12"></a>
-and I was wondering why. Now I know; I am
-sitting on your camera.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">agonized</span>). Lady!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Little Lady.</span> I thought it was a stone. I saw
-something lying there and I thought: A queer-looking
-stone; I wonder why it&rsquo;s so black. So that&rsquo;s
-what it was; it was your camera. I see.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">agonized</span>). Lady, for heaven&rsquo;s sake!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Little Lady.</span> Why is it so large, tell me.
-Cameras are small, but this one is so large. I swear
-I never had the faintest suspicion it was a camera.
-Can you take my picture? I would so much like to
-have my picture taken with the mountains here for a
-background, in this wonderful setting.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> How can I take your picture if you
-are sitting on my camera?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Little Lady</span> (<span class="sd">jumping up, frightened</span>). Is it
-possible? You don&rsquo;t say so. Why didn&rsquo;t you tell
-me so? Does it take pictures?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> Waiter, one beer!&mdash;What did you
-bring wine for?&mdash;I gave you my order long ago.&mdash;What
-will you have, sir?&mdash;One minute.&mdash;In a
-second. Waiter!&mdash;Waiter&mdash;Toothpicks!&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">A fat tourist enters in haste, panting, surrounded
-by a numerous family.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">crying</span>). Mary! Aleck! Jimmie!&mdash;Where
-is Mary? For God&rsquo;s sake! Where is Mary?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-13" class="pagenum" title="13"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Student</span> (<span class="sd">dismally</span>). Here she is, papa.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Where is she? Mary!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Girl.</span> Here I am, papa.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Where in the world are you? (<span class="sd">He
-turns around.</span>) Ah, there! What are you standing
-back of me for? Look, look! For goodness sake,
-where are you looking?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Girl</span> (<span class="sd">dismally</span>). I don&rsquo;t know, papa.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> No, that&rsquo;s impossible. Imagine! She
-never once saw a lightning flash. She always keeps
-her eyes open as wide as onions, but the instant it
-flashes she closes them. So she never saw lightning,
-not once. Mary, you are missing it again. There
-it is! You see!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Student.</span> She sees, papa.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Keep an eye on her. (<span class="sd">Suddenly
-dropping into tone of profound pity.</span>) Ah, poor
-young man. Imagine! He&rsquo;ll fall from that high
-rock. Look, children, see how pale he is! That
-should be a lesson to you how dangerous climbing is.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Student</span> (<span class="sd">dismally</span>). He won&rsquo;t fall to-day,
-papa!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Girl.</span> Papa, Mary has closed her eyes
-again.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Student.</span> Let us sit down, papa! Upon
-my word, he won&rsquo;t fall to-day. The porter told me
-so. I can&rsquo;t stand it any more. You&rsquo;ve been
-<a id="page-14" class="pagenum" title="14"></a>
-dragging us about every day from morning till night
-visiting art galleries.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> What&rsquo;s that? For whose benefit am
-I doing this? Do you think I enjoy spending my
-time with a dunce?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Girl.</span> Papa, Mary is blinking her eyes
-again.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Student.</span> I can&rsquo;t stand it either. I
-have terrible dreams. Yesterday I dreamed of garçons
-the whole night long.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Jimmie.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Student.</span> I have gotten so thin I am
-nothing but skin and bones. I can&rsquo;t stand it any
-more, father. I&rsquo;d rather be a farmer, or tend pigs.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Aleck.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Student.</span> If he were really to fall&mdash;but
-it&rsquo;s a fake. You believe every lie told you! They
-all lie. Baedecker lies, too. Yes, your Baedecker
-lies!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Mary</span> (<span class="sd">dismally</span>). Papa, children, he&rsquo;s beginning
-to fall.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">The man on the rock shouts something down
-into the crowd. There is general commotion.
-Voices, &ldquo;Look, he&rsquo;s falling.&rdquo; Field-glasses are
-raised; the photographers, violently agitated, click
-their cameras; the policemen diligently clean the
-place where he is to fall.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-15" class="pagenum" title="15"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Photographer.</span> Oh, hang it! What is the
-matter with me? The devil! When a man&rsquo;s in a
-hurry&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Photographer.</span> Brother, your camera
-is closed.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Photographer.</span> The devil take it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> Hush! He&rsquo;s getting ready to fall.&mdash;
-No, he&rsquo;s saying something.&mdash;No, he&rsquo;s falling.&mdash;Hush!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man on the Rock</span> (<span class="sd">faintly</span>). Save
-me! Save me!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Ah, poor young man. Mary, Jimmie,
-there&rsquo;s a tragedy for you. The sky is clear, the
-weather is beautiful, and has he to fall and be shattered
-to death? Can you realize how dreadful that
-is, Aleck?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Student</span> (<span class="sd">wearily</span>). Yes, I can realize it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Mary, can you realize it? Imagine.
-There is the sky. There are people enjoying themselves
-and partaking of refreshments. Everything
-is <a id="corr-1"></a>so nice and pleasant, and he has to fall. What a
-tragedy! Do you remember Hamlet?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Girl</span> (<span class="sd">prompting</span>). Hamlet, Prince of
-Denmark, of Alsinore.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">James.</span> Of Helsingfors, I know. Don&rsquo;t bother
-me, father!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-16" class="pagenum" title="16"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Mary</span> (<span class="sd">dismally</span>). He dreamed about garçons
-all night long.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Aleck.</span> Why don&rsquo;t you order sandwiches,
-father.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Comb-Vender</span> (<span class="sd">mysteriously</span>). Tortoise-shell.
-Genuine tortoise-shell.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">credulously</span>). Stolen?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Vender.</span> Why, sir, the idea!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">angrily</span>). Do you mean to tell me it&rsquo;s
-genuine if it isn&rsquo;t stolen? Go on. Not much.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman</span> (<span class="sd">amiably</span>). Are all these
-your children?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Yes, madam. A father&rsquo;s duty. You
-see, they are protesting. It is the eternal conflict
-between fathers and children. Here is such a
-tragedy going on, such a heart-rending tragedy&mdash;Mary,
-you are blinking your eyes again.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> You are quite right. Children
-must be hardened to things. But why do you
-call this a terrible tragedy? Every roofer, when he
-falls, falls from a great height. But this here&mdash;what
-is it? A hundred, two hundred feet. I saw a man
-fall plumb from the sky.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">overwhelmed</span>). You don&rsquo;t say?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Aleck.</span> Children, listen. Plumb from the sky.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> Yes, yes. I saw an aeronaut
-<a id="page-17" class="pagenum" title="17"></a>
-drop from the clouds and go crash upon an
-iron roof.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> How terrible!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> That&rsquo;s what I call a tragedy.
-It took two hours to bring me back to consciousness,
-and all that time they pumped water on me, the
-scoundrels. I was nearly drowned. From that day
-on I never step out of the door without taking spirits
-of ammonia with me.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">Enter a strolling troop of Italian singers and
-musicians: a short, fat tenor, with a reddish beard
-and large, watery, stupidly dreamy eyes, singing
-with extraordinary sweetness; a skinny humpback
-with a jockey cap, and a screeching baritone; a bass
-who is also a mandolinist, looking like a bandit; a
-girl with a violin, closing her eyes when she plays,
-so that only the whites are seen. They take their
-stand and begin to sing: &ldquo;Sul mare luccica&mdash;Santa
-Lucia, Santa Lucia&mdash;&rdquo;</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Mary</span> (<span class="sd">dismally</span>). Papa, children, look. He is
-beginning to wave his hands.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Is that the effect the music has upon
-him?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> Quite possible. Music
-usually goes with such things. But that&rsquo;ll make him
-fall sooner than he should. Musicians, go away
-from here! Go!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-18" class="pagenum" title="18"></a>
-(<span class="sd">A tall tourist, with up-curled mustache, violently
-gesticulating, enters, followed by a small
-group attracted by curiosity.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> It&rsquo;s scandalous. Why don&rsquo;t
-they save him? Ladies and gentlemen, you all heard
-him shout: &ldquo;Save me.&rdquo; Didn&rsquo;t you?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">The Curious</span> (<span class="sd">in chorus</span>). Yes, yes, we heard
-him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> There you are. I distinctly
-heard these words: &ldquo;Save me! Why don&rsquo;t they
-save me?&rdquo; It&rsquo;s scandalous. Policemen, policemen!
-Why don&rsquo;t you save him? What are you doing
-there?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policemen.</span> We are cleaning up the place for
-him to fall.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> That&rsquo;s a sensible thing to do,
-too. But why don&rsquo;t you save him? You ought to
-save him. If a man asks you to save him, it is absolutely
-essential to save him. Isn&rsquo;t it so, ladies and
-gentlemen?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">The Curious</span> (<span class="sd">in chorus</span>). True, absolutely
-true. It is essential to save him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">with heat</span>). We are not
-heathens, we are Christians. We should love our
-neighbors. When a man asks to be saved every
-measure which the government has at its command
-<a id="page-19" class="pagenum" title="19"></a>
-should be taken to save him. Policeman, have you
-taken every measure?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> Every one!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> Every one without exception?
-Gentleman, every measure has been taken. Listen,
-young man, every measure has been taken to save
-you. Did you hear?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">in a scarcely audible voice</span>).
-Save me!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">excitedly</span>). Gentlemen, did you
-hear? He again asked to be saved. Policeman,
-did you hear?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">One of the Curious</span> (<span class="sd">timidly</span>). It is my
-opinion that it is absolutely necessary to save him.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> That&rsquo;s right. Exactly. Why,
-that&rsquo;s what I have been saying for the last two
-hours. Policeman, do you hear? It is scandalous.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">One of the Curious</span> (<span class="sd">a little bolder</span>). It is my
-opinion that an appeal should be made to the highest
-authority.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">The Rest</span> (<span class="sd">in chorus</span>). Yes, yes, a complaint
-should be made. It is scandalous. The government
-ought not to leave any of its citizens in danger. We
-all pay taxes. He must be saved.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> Didn&rsquo;t I say so? Of course
-we must put up a complaint. Young man! Listen,
-<a id="page-20" class="pagenum" title="20"></a>
-young man. Do you pay taxes? What? I can&rsquo;t
-hear.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Jimmie, Katie, listen! What a
-tragedy! Ah, the poor young man! He is soon to
-fall and they ask him to pay a domiciliary tax.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Kate</span> (<span class="sd">the girl with glasses, pedantically</span>). That
-can hardly be called a domicile, father. The meaning
-of domicile is&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">James</span> (<span class="sd">pinching her</span>). Lickspittle.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Mary</span> (<span class="sd">wearily</span>). Papa, children, look! He&rsquo;s
-again beginning to fall.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">There is excitement in the crowd, and again a
-bustling and shouting among the photographers.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> We must hurry, ladies and
-gentlemen. He must be saved at any cost. Who&rsquo;s
-going with me?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">The Curious</span> (<span class="sd">in chorus</span>). We are all going!
-We are all going?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> Policeman, did you hear?
-Come, ladies and gentlemen!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">They depart, fiercely gesticulating. The café
-grows more lively. The sound of clinking beer
-glasses and the clatter of steins is heard, and the beginning
-of a loud German song. The bartender, who
-has forgotten himself while talking to somebody,
-starts suddenly and runs off, looks up to the sky
-with a hopeless air and wipes the perspiration from
-<a id="page-21" class="pagenum" title="21"></a>
-his face with his napkin. Angry calls of Waiter!
-Waiter!</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">rather loudly</span>). Can you let
-me have some soda water?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">The waiter is startled, looks at the sky, glances
-at the man on the rock, and pretending not to have
-heard him, walks away.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Many Voices.</span> Waiter! Beer!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Waiter.</span> One moment, one moment!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">Two drunken men come out from the café.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Lady.</span> Ah, there is my husband. Come here
-quick.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> A downright brute.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Drunken Man</span> (<span class="sd">waving his hand to the unknown
-man</span>). Say, is it very bad up there? Hey?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">rather loudly</span>). Yes, it&rsquo;s bad.
-I am sick and tired of it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Drunken Man.</span> Can&rsquo;t you get a drink?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man.</span> No, how can I?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Drunken Man.</span> Say, what are you
-talking about? How can he get a drink? The man
-is about to die and you tempt him and try to get
-him excited. Listen, up there, we have been drinking
-your health right along. It won&rsquo;t hurt you,
-will it?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Drunken Man.</span> Ah, go on! What are
-you talking about? How can it hurt him? Why,
-<a id="page-22" class="pagenum" title="22"></a>
-it will only do him good. It will encourage him.
-Listen, honest to God, we are very sorry for you,
-but don&rsquo;t mind us. We are going to the café to
-have another drink. Good-bye.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Drunken Man.</span> Look, what a crowd.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Drunken Man.</span> Come, or he&rsquo;ll fall and
-then they&rsquo;ll close the café.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">Enter a new crowd of tourists, a very elegant
-gentleman, the chief correspondent of European
-newspapers at their head. He is followed by an
-ecstatic whisper of respect and admiration. Many
-leave the café to look at him, and even the waiter
-turns slightly around, glances at him quickly, smiles
-happily and continues on his way, spilling something
-from his tray.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> The correspondent! The correspondent!
-Look!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Lady.</span> Oh, my, and my husband is gone again!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Jimmie, Mary, Aleck, Katie, Charlie,
-look! This is the chief correspondent. Do you
-realize it? The very highest of all. Whatever he
-writes goes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Kate.</span> Mary, dear, again you are not looking.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Aleck.</span> I wish you would order some sandwiches
-for us. I can&rsquo;t stand it any longer. A
-human being has to eat.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">ecstatically</span>). What a tragedy!
-<a id="page-23" class="pagenum" title="23"></a>
-Katie dear, can you realize it? Consider how
-awful. The weather is so beautiful, and the chief
-correspondent. Take out your note-book, Jimmie.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">James.</span> I lost it, father.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent.</span> Where is he?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices</span> (<span class="sd">obligingly</span>). There, there he is.
-There! A little higher. Still higher! A little
-lower! No, higher!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent.</span> If you please, if you please,
-ladies and gentlemen, I will find him myself. Oh,
-yes, there he is. Hm! What a situation!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Won&rsquo;t you have a chair?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent.</span> Thank you. (<span class="sd">Sits down.</span>)
-Hm! What a situation! Very interesting. Very
-interesting, indeed. (<span class="sd">Whisks out his note-book;
-amiably to the photographers.</span>) Have you taken
-any pictures yet, gentlemen?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Photographer.</span> Yes, sir, certainly, certainly.
-We have photographed the place showing
-the general character of the locality&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Photographer.</span> The tragic situation
-of the young man&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent.</span> Ye-es, very, very interesting.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Did you hear, Aleck? This smart
-man, the chief correspondent, says it&rsquo;s interesting,
-and you keep bothering about sandwiches. Dunce!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Aleck.</span> May be he has had his dinner already.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-24" class="pagenum" title="24"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent.</span> Ladies and gentlemen, I beg
-you to be quiet.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Obliging Voices.</span> It is quieter in the café.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">shouts to the unknown man</span>).
-Permit me to introduce myself. I am the chief
-correspondent of the European press. I have been
-sent here at the special request of the editors. I
-should like to ask you several questions concerning
-your situation. What is your name? What is your
-general position? How old are you? (<span class="sd">The unknown
-man mumbles something.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">a little puzzled</span>). I can&rsquo;t hear
-a thing. Has he been that way all the time?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> Yes, it&rsquo;s impossible to hear a word he
-says.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">jotting down something in
-his note-book</span>). Fine! Are you a bachelor? (<span class="sd">The
-unknown man mumbles.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent.</span> I can&rsquo;t hear you. Are you
-married? Yes?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> He said he was a bachelor.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> No, he didn&rsquo;t. Of course,
-he&rsquo;s married.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">carelessly</span>). You think so?
-All right. We&rsquo;ll put down, married. How many
-children have you? Can&rsquo;t hear! It seems to me
-he said three. Hm! Anyway, we&rsquo;ll put down five.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-25" class="pagenum" title="25"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Oh, my, what a tragedy. Five children!
-Imagine!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> He is lying.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">shouting</span>). How did you get
-into this position? What? I can&rsquo;t hear? Louder!
-Repeat. What did you say? (<span class="sd">Perplexed, to the
-crowd.</span>) What did he say? The fellow has a
-devilishly weak voice.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist.</span> It seems to me he said that he
-lost his way.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> No, he doesn&rsquo;t know himself
-how he got there.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> He was out hunting.&mdash;He was climbing
-up the rocks.&mdash;No, no! He is simply a lunatic!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent.</span> I beg your pardon, I beg
-your pardon, ladies and gentlemen! Anyway, he
-didn&rsquo;t drop from the sky. However&mdash; (<span class="sd">He
-quickly jots down in his note-book.</span>) Unhappy
-young man&mdash;suffering from childhood with attacks
-of lunacy.&mdash;The bright light of the full moon&mdash;the
-wild rocks.&mdash;Sleepy janitor&mdash;didn&rsquo;t notice&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">to the second, in a whisper</span>).
-But it&rsquo;s new moon now.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Tourist.</span> Go, what does a layman
-know about astronomy.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">ecstatically</span>). Mary, pay attention to
-this! You have before you an ocular demonstration
-<a id="page-26" class="pagenum" title="26"></a>
-of the influence of the moon on living organisms.
-What a terrible tragedy to go out walking
-on a moonlit night and find suddenly that you have
-climbed to a place whence it is impossible to climb
-down or be taken down.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">shouting</span>). What feelings
-are you experiencing? I can&rsquo;t hear. Louder! Ah,
-so? Well, well! What a situation!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Crowd</span> (<span class="sd">interested</span>). Listen, listen! Let&rsquo;s
-hear what his feelings are. How terrible!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">writes in his note-book, tossing
-out detached remarks</span>). Mortal terror numbs
-his limbs.&mdash;A cold shiver goes down his spinal
-column.&mdash;No hope.&mdash;Before his mental vision rises
-a picture of family bliss: Wife making sandwiches;
-his five children innocently lisping their love.&mdash;Grandma
-in the arm-chair with a tube to her ear,
-that is, grandpa in the arm-chair, with a tube to <em>his</em>
-ear and grandma.&mdash;Deeply moved by the sympathy
-of the public.&mdash;His last wish before his death that
-the words he uttered with his last breath should be
-published in our newspapers&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman</span> (<span class="sd">indignantly</span>). My! He
-lies like a salesman.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Mary</span> (<span class="sd">wearily</span>). Papa, children, look, he is
-starting to fall again.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">angrily</span>). Don&rsquo;t bother me. Such a
-<a id="page-27" class="pagenum" title="27"></a>
-tragedy is unfolding itself right before your very
-eyes&mdash;and you&mdash; What are you making such big
-eyes for again?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">shouting</span>). Hold on fast.
-That&rsquo;s it! My last question: What message do you
-wish to leave for your fellow citizens before you
-depart for the better world?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man.</span> That they may all go to the
-devil.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent.</span> What? Hm, yes&mdash; (<span class="sd">He
-writes quickly.</span>) Ardent love&mdash;is a stanch opponent
-of the law granting equal rights to negroes.
-His last words: &ldquo;Let the black niggers&mdash;&rdquo;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor</span> (<span class="sd">out of breath, pushing through the
-crowd</span>). Where is he? Ah, there! Poor young
-man. Has there been no clergyman here yet? No?
-Thank you. Am I the first?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">writes</span>). A touching dramatic
-moment.&mdash;A minister has arrived.&mdash;All are
-trembling on the verge of suspense. Many are
-shedding tears&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor.</span> Excuse me, excuse me! Ladies and
-gentlemen, a lost soul wishes to make its peace with
-God&mdash; (<span class="sd">He shouts.</span>) My son, don&rsquo;t you wish to
-make your peace with God? Confess your sins to
-me. I will grant you remission at once! What?
-I cannot hear?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-28" class="pagenum" title="28"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">writes</span>). The air is shaken
-with the people&rsquo;s groans. The minister of the
-church exhorts the criminal, that is, the unfortunate
-man, in touching language.&mdash;The unfortunate
-creature with tears in his eyes thanks him in a faint
-voice&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">faintly</span>). If you won&rsquo;t go
-away I will jump on your head. I weigh three
-hundred pounds. (<span class="sd">All jump away frightened behind
-each other.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> He is falling! He is falling!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">agitatingly</span>). Mary, Aleck, Jimmie.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman</span> (<span class="sd">energetically</span>). Clear the place,
-please! Move on!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Lady.</span> Nellie, go quick and tell your father he
-is falling.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Photographer</span> (<span class="sd">in despair</span>). Oh my, I am
-out of films (<span class="sd">tosses madly about, looking pitifully
-at the unknown man</span>). One minute, I&rsquo;ll go and get
-them. I have some in my overcoat pocket over
-there. (<span class="sd">He walks a short distance, keeping his eyes
-fixed on the unknown man, and then returns.</span>) I
-can&rsquo;t, I am afraid I&rsquo;ll miss it. Good heavens! They
-are over there in my overcoat. Just one minute,
-please. I&rsquo;ll fetch them right away. What a fix.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor.</span> Hurry, my friend. Pull yourself together
-and try to hold out long enough to tell me
-<a id="page-29" class="pagenum" title="29"></a>
-at least your principal sins. You needn&rsquo;t mention
-the lesser ones.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> What a tragedy?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">writes</span>). The criminal, that
-is, the unhappy man, makes a public confession and
-does penance. Terrible secrets revealed. He is a
-bank robber&mdash;blew up safes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">credulously</span>). The scoundrel.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor</span> (<span class="sd">shouts</span>). In the first place, have you
-killed? Secondly, have you stolen? Thirdly, have
-you committed adultery?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Mary, Jimmie, Katie, Aleck, Charlie,
-close your ears.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">writing</span>). Tremendous excitement
-in the crowd.&mdash;Shouts of indignation.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor</span> (<span class="sd">hurriedly</span>). Fourthly, have you blasphemed?
-Fifthly, have you coveted your neighbor&rsquo;s
-ass, his ox, his slave, his wife? Sixthly&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Photographer</span> (<span class="sd">alarmed</span>). Ladies and gentlemen,
-an ass!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Photographer.</span> Where? I can&rsquo;t see
-it!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Photographer</span> (<span class="sd">calmed</span>). I thought I heard
-it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor.</span> I congratulate you, my son! I congratulate
-you! You have made your peace with
-God. Now you may rest easy&mdash;Oh, God, what do
-<a id="page-30" class="pagenum" title="30"></a>
-I see? The Salvation Army! Policeman, chase
-them away!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">Enter a Salvation Army band, men and women
-in uniforms. There are only three instruments, a
-drum, a violin and a piercingly shrill trumpet.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Salvation Army Man</span> (<span class="sd">frantically beating his
-drum and shouting in a nasal voice</span>). Brethren and
-sisters&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor</span> (<span class="sd">shouting even louder in a still more
-nasal voice in an effort to drown the other&rsquo;s</span>). He
-has already confessed. Bear witness, ladies and
-gentlemen, that he has confessed and made his peace
-with heaven.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Salvation Army Woman</span> (<span class="sd">climbing on a rock
-and shrieking</span>). I once wandered in the dark just
-as this sinner and I lived a bad life and was a drunkard,
-but when the light of truth&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">A Voice.</span> Why, she is drunk now.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor.</span> Policeman, didn&rsquo;t he confess and
-make his peace with heaven?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">The Salvation Army man continues to beat his
-drum frantically; the rest begin to drawl a song.
-Shouts, laughter, whistling. Singing in the café,
-and calls of &ldquo;Waiter!&rdquo; in all languages. The bewildered
-policemen tear themselves away from the
-pastor, who is pulling them somewhere; the photographers
-turn and twist about as if the seats
-<a id="page-31" class="pagenum" title="31"></a>
-were burning under them. An English lady comes
-riding in on a donkey, who, stopping suddenly,
-sprawls out his legs and refuses to go farther, adding
-his noise to the rest. Gradually the noise subsides.
-The Salvation Army band solemnly withdraws, and
-the pastor, waving his hands, follows them.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First English Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">to the other</span>). How
-impolite! This crowd doesn&rsquo;t know how to behave
-itself.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second English Tourist.</span> Come, let&rsquo;s go
-away from here.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First English Tourist.</span> One minute. (<span class="sd">He
-shouts.</span>) Listen, won&rsquo;t you hurry up and fall?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second English Tourist.</span> What are you saying,
-Sir William?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First English Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">shouting</span>). Don&rsquo;t
-you see that&rsquo;s what they are waiting for? As a
-gentleman you should grant them this pleasure and
-so escape the humiliation of undergoing tortures
-before this mob.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second English Tourist.</span> Sir William.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">ecstatically</span>). See? It&rsquo;s true. Aleck,
-Jimmie, it&rsquo;s true. What a tragedy!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Several Tourists</span> (<span class="sd">going for the Englishman</span>).
-How dare you?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">First English Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">shoving them aside</span>).
-<a id="page-32" class="pagenum" title="32"></a>
-Hurry up and fall! Do you hear? If you haven&rsquo;t
-the backbone I&rsquo;ll help you out with a pistol shot.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> That red-haired devil has gone clear
-out of his mind.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman</span> (<span class="sd">seizing the Englishman&rsquo;s hand</span>).
-You have no right to do it, it&rsquo;s against the law. I&rsquo;ll
-arrest you.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Some Tourists.</span> A barbarous nation!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">The unknown man shouts something. Excitement
-below.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> Hear, hear, hear!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">aloud</span>). Take that jackass
-away to the devil. He wants to shoot me. And
-tell the boss that I can&rsquo;t stand it any longer.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> What&rsquo;s that? What boss? He is
-losing his mind, the poor man.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Aleck! Mary! This is a mad scene.
-Jimmie, you remember Hamlet? Quick.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">angrily</span>). Tell him my
-spinal column is broken.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Mary</span> (<span class="sd">wearily</span>). Papa, children, he&rsquo;s beginning
-to kick with his legs.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Kate.</span> Is that what is called convulsions, papa?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">rapturously</span>). I don&rsquo;t know. I think
-it is. What a tragedy?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Aleck</span> (<span class="sd">glumly</span>). You fool! You keep cramming
-and cramming and you don&rsquo;t know that the
-<a id="page-33" class="pagenum" title="33"></a>
-right name for that is agony. And you wear eye-glasses,
-too. I can&rsquo;t bear it any longer, papa.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Think of it, children. A man is
-about to fall down to his death and he is bothering
-about his spinal column.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">There is a noise. A man in a white vest, very
-much frightened, enters, almost dragged by angry
-tourists. He smiles, bows on all sides, stretches out
-his arms, now running forward as he is pushed, now
-trying to escape in the crowd, but is seized and
-pulled again.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> A bare-faced deception! It is an outrage.
-Policeman, policeman, he must be taught a
-lesson!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Other Voices.</span> What is it? What deception?
-What is it all about? They have caught a thief!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">The Man in the White Vest</span> (<span class="sd">bowing and
-smiling</span>). It&rsquo;s a joke, ladies and gentlemen, a joke,
-that&rsquo;s all. The people were bored, so I wanted to
-provide a little amusement for them.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">angrily</span>). Boss!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">The Man in the White Vest.</span> Wait a
-while, wait a while.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man.</span> Do you expect me to stay
-here until the Second Advent? The agreement was
-till twelve o&rsquo;clock. What time is it now?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist</span> (<span class="sd">indignantly</span>). Do you hear,
-<a id="page-34" class="pagenum" title="34"></a>
-ladies and gentlemen? This scoundrel, this man
-here in the white vest hired that other scoundrel up
-there and just simply tied him to the rock.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> Is he tied?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> Yes, he is tied and he can&rsquo;t
-fall. We are excited and worrying, but he couldn&rsquo;t
-fall even if he tried.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man.</span> What else do you want? Do
-you think I am going to break my neck for your
-measly ten dollars? Boss, I can&rsquo;t stand it any
-more. One man wanted to shoot me. The pastor
-preached me for two hours. This is not in the
-agreement.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Aleck.</span> Father, I told you that Baedecker lies.
-You believe everything anybody tells you and drag
-us about without eating.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Man in the White Vest.</span> The people were
-bored. My only desire was to amuse the people.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> What is the matter? I
-don&rsquo;t understand a thing. Why isn&rsquo;t he going to
-fall? Who, then, is going to fall?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> I don&rsquo;t understand a thing either.
-Of course he&rsquo;s got to fall!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">James.</span> You never understand anything,
-father. Weren&rsquo;t you told that he&rsquo;s tied to the rock?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Aleck.</span> You can&rsquo;t convince him. He loves
-every Baedecker more than his own children.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-35" class="pagenum" title="35"></a>
-<span class="speaker">James.</span> A nice father!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Silence!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> What is the matter? He
-must fall.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> The idea! What a deception.
-You&rsquo;ll have to explain this.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Man in the White Vest.</span> The people were
-bored. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, but wishing
-to accommodate you&mdash;give you a few hours of
-pleasant excitement&mdash;elevate your spirits&mdash;inspire
-you with altruistic sentiments&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Englishman.</span> Is the café yours?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Man in the White Vest.</span> Yes.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Englishman.</span> And is the hotel below also
-yours?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Gentleman.</span> Yes. The people were bored&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Correspondent</span> (<span class="sd">writing</span>). The proprietor of
-the café, desiring to increase his profits from the
-sale of alcoholic beverages, exploits the best human
-sentiments.&mdash;The people&rsquo;s indignation&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">angrily</span>). Boss, will you
-have me taken off at once or won&rsquo;t you?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Hotel Keeper.</span> What do you want up there?
-Aren&rsquo;t you satisfied? Didn&rsquo;t I have you taken off
-at night?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man.</span> Well, I should say so. You
-think I&rsquo;d be hanging here nights, too!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-36" class="pagenum" title="36"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Hotel Owner.</span> Then you can stand it a few
-minutes longer. The people are bored&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> Say, have you any idea of
-what you have done? Do you realize the enormity
-of it? You are scoundrels, who for your own
-sordid personal ends have impiously exploited the
-finest human sentiment, love of one&rsquo;s neighbor.
-You have caused us to undergo fear and suffering.
-You have poisoned our hearts with pity. And now,
-what is the upshot of it all? The upshot is that this
-scamp, your vile accomplice, is bound to the rock
-and not only will he not fall as everybody expects,
-but he <em>can&rsquo;t</em>.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> What is the matter? He
-has got to fall.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Policeman! Policeman!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">The pastor enters, out of breath.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor.</span> What? Is he still living? Oh, there
-he is! What fakirs those Salvationists are.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> Don&rsquo;t you know that he is bound?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor.</span> Bound! Bound to what? To life?
-Well, we are all bound to life until death snaps the
-cord. But whether he is bound or not bound, I reconciled
-him with heaven, and that&rsquo;s enough. But
-those fakirs&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Policeman! Policeman, you must
-<a id="page-37" class="pagenum" title="37"></a>
-draw up an official report. There is no way out
-of it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman</span> (<span class="sd">going for the hotel owner</span>).
-I will not allow myself to be fooled. I saw an
-aeronaut drop from the clouds and go crash upon
-a roof. I saw a tiger tear a woman to pieces&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Photographer.</span> I spoiled three films photographing
-that scamp. You will have to answer for
-this, sir. I will hold you responsible.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> An official report! An official report!
-Such a bare-faced deception. Mary, Jimmie,
-Aleck, Charlie, call a policeman.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Hotel Keeper</span> (<span class="sd">drawing back, in despair</span>).
-But, I can&rsquo;t make him fall if he doesn&rsquo;t want to. I
-did everything in my power, ladies and gentlemen!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> I will not allow it.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Hotel Keeper.</span> Excuse me. I promise you
-on my word of honor that the next time he will
-fall. But he doesn&rsquo;t want to, to-day.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man.</span> What&rsquo;s that? What did you
-say about the next time?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Hotel Keeper.</span> You shut up there!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man.</span> For ten dollars?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor.</span> Pray, what impudence! I just made
-his peace with heaven when he was in danger of
-his life. You have heard him threatening to fall on
-my head, haven&rsquo;t you? And still he is dissatisfied.
-<a id="page-38" class="pagenum" title="38"></a>
-Adulterer, thief, murderer, coveter of your neighbor&rsquo;s
-ass&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Photographer.</span> Ladies and gentlemen, an ass!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Photographer.</span> Where, where is an
-ass?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Photographer</span> (<span class="sd">calmed</span>). I thought I heard
-one.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Second Photographer.</span> It is you who are an
-ass. I have become cross-eyed on account of your
-shouting: &ldquo;An ass! An ass!&rdquo;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Mary</span> (<span class="sd">wearily</span>). Papa, children, look! A
-policeman is coming.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">Excitement and noise. On one side a crowd
-pulling a policeman, on the other the hotel keeper;
-both keep crying: &ldquo;Excuse me! Excuse me!&rdquo;</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Policeman, there he is, the fakir, the
-swindler.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Pastor.</span> Policeman, there he is, the adulterer,
-the murderer, the coveter of his neighbor&rsquo;s ass&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> Excuse me, excuse me, ladies and
-gentlemen. We will bring him to his senses in
-short order and make him confess.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Hotel Keeper.</span> I can&rsquo;t make him fall if he
-doesn&rsquo;t want to.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman.</span> Hey, you, young man out there!
-Can you fall or can&rsquo;t you? Confess!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<a id="page-39" class="pagenum" title="39"></a>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man</span> (<span class="sd">sullenly</span>). I don&rsquo;t want to
-fall!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Voices.</span> Aha, he has confessed. What a
-scoundrel!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> Write down what I dictate,
-policeman&mdash; &ldquo;Desiring&mdash;for the sake of gain to
-exploit the sentiment of love of one&rsquo;s neighbor&mdash;the
-sacred feeling&mdash;a-a-a&mdash;&rdquo;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Listen children, they are drawing up
-an official report. What exquisite choice of language!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tall Tourist.</span> The sacred feeling which&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Policeman</span> (<span class="sd">writing with painful effort, his
-tongue stuck out</span>). Love of one&rsquo;s neighbor&mdash;the
-sacred feeling which&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Mary</span> (<span class="sd">wearily</span>). Papa, children, look! An
-advertisement is coming.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">Enter musicians with trumpets and drums, a
-man at their head carrying on a long pole a huge
-placard with the picture of an absolutely bald head,
-and printed underneath: &ldquo;I was bald.&rdquo;</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Unknown Man.</span> Too late. They are drawing
-up a report here. You had better skidoo!
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">The Man Carrying the Pole</span> (<span class="sd">stopping and
-speaking in a loud voice</span>). I had been bald from
-the day of my birth and for a long time thereafter.
-That miserable growth, which in my tenth
-<a id="page-40" class="pagenum" title="40"></a>
-year covered my scalp was more like wool than real
-hair. When I was married my skull was as bare
-as a pillow and my young bride&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> What a tragedy! Newly married
-and with such a head! Can you realize how dreadful
-that is, children?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-(<span class="sd">All listen with interest, even the policeman
-stopping in his arduous task and inclining his ear
-with his pen in his hand.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">The Man Carrying the Pole</span> (<span class="sd">solemnly</span>).
-And the time came when my matrimonial happiness
-literally hung by a hair. All the medicines recommended
-by quacks to make my hair grow&mdash;
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Tourist.</span> Your note-book, Jimmie.
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Military Woman.</span> But when is he going to
-fall?
-</p>
-
-<p>
-<span class="speaker">Hotel Keeper</span> (<span class="sd">amiably</span>). The next time,
-lady, the next time. I won&rsquo;t tie him so hard&mdash;you
-understand?
-</p>
-
-<p class="end">
-(<span class="sd">Curtain.</span>)
-</p>
-
-<div class="ads chapter">
-<p class="adh">
-POETRY
-</p>
-
-<p class="ads">
-A MAGAZINE OF VERSE
-</p>
-
-<p class="c">
-Edited by Harriet Monroe, 543 Cass St., Chicago, Ill.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang">
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-</p>
-
-<p class="hang">
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-</p>
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-<p class="hang">
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-place, without the limitations imposed by the popular
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-a sheaf of new verse in delicate form uninterrupted by
-prose articles demanding a different mood.
-</p>
-
-<p class="hang">
-If You Love Good Poetry, Subscribe&mdash;
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-<p class="u hang">
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-The original spelling was mostly preserved. A few obvious typographical errors
-were silently corrected. All other changes are listed here (before/after):
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-... is <span class="underline">no</span> nice and pleasant, and he has to fall. What a ...<br />
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