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diff --git a/old/62495.txt b/old/62495.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 547f588..0000000 --- a/old/62495.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3820 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Portland, Oregon, A.D. 1999 and other -sketches, by Jeff W. Hayes - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Portland, Oregon, A.D. 1999 and other sketches - -Author: Jeff W. Hayes - -Release Date: June 27, 2020 [EBook #62495] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PORTLAND, OREGON, A.D. 1999 *** - - - - -Produced by MFR, Robert J. Homa and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - - -Illustration: Frontispiece. Jeff Hayes portrait. - - - - - PORTLAND, OREGON - A. D. 1999 - - AND OTHER SKETCHES - - _By_ JEFF W. HAYES - - AUTHOR OF - - "+Tales of the Sierras+" - "+Looking Backward at Portland+" - +Etc.+ - - Illustration: F. W. Baltes Logo - - +Publishers:+ - - +F. W. Baltes and Company+ - +Portland, Oregon+ - 1913 - - - - - +Copyrighted 1913+ - - _All rights reserved_ - - - - - Dedication - - TO THE CITIZENS OF PORTLAND - AND TO THE DEAR FRIENDS OF MY EARLIER LIFE - THIS VOLUME IS LOVINGLY - DEDICATED - - - - - +Contents+ - - +Part I.+ - - Page -Chapter 1, The Visitor, 1 -Chapter 2, The Prophecy, 4 -Chapter 3, More Startling Prophecies, 15 -Chapter 4, Old Names Revived, 21 -Chapter 5, Prophetess Grows Jocose, 28 -Chapter 6, 30 -Chapter 7, More Denouements, 31 -Chapter 8, Politics Discussed, 33 -Chapter 9, Strange Occurrences, 35 - - +Part II.+ - - The Bad Man From Bodie 43 - He Never Came Back 51 - Where Did You Get That Oil? 55 - A Grapevine Telegraph Line 59 - Along the Shore 63 - Showing Off 67 - "Knifin' de Dough" 71 - A Musical Aborigine 75 - "The Gentleman of Havre" 77 - On the Wing 79 - He Knew a Good Thing 83 - Inadequate Cuspidors 87 - No Jobs, But Vacancies 89 - Phenomenal Telegraphing 91 - His Old Kentucky Home 95 - The Office at Spirit Lake 97 - The Indians Were Too Loyal 99 - A Governor for Fifteen Minutes Took - the Bull by the Horns 101 - The Seven Mounds 105 - When Gold Grew on Sage Brush 111 - - - - - PREFACE. - -In introducing my little romance to the public, I do so with little -misgivings or apologies. - -The close observer will agree that the changes that are anticipated-- -here related as established facts--are merely the signs of the times, -and that not one-half of the story is told. - -One might wish to be a living witness of the great projects occurring -A. D. 1999, and may possibly resent that he was not born later on in the -cycles of Time, but if his heart is in the right place he can realize -that there is nothing lost, and his soul goes marching onward and upward -in its eternal flight. - - "_Oh, sometimes gleams upon our sight - Thro' present wrong, the eternal right; - And step by step, since time began, - We see the steady gain of Man._" - - - - - +Part I.+ - - +Portland, Oregon, A. D. 1999+ - - - - - +Portland, Oregon, A. D. 1999+ - - CHAPTER I. - - +The Visitor.+ - - "_Thro' the harsh noises of our day, - A low sweet prelude finds its way, - Thro' cloud of Doubt and creeds of Fear - A Light is breaking calm and clear._" - - -My caller was a queer little old woman. Her figure, however, was erect, -her eyes bright and her voice low, soft and firm. She was becomingly -dressed, in what might appear to be a Quaker garb, and a look of rare -intelligence radiated her countenance. - -In a deep, sweet voice, she began: - -"I was born in the year of our Lord, 1828, and am, consequently, in my -86th year. I have lived a long time, but when I glance backward, it -seems but yesterday that I nestled in my mother's arms. I was born in -Virginia in the year Andrew Jackson was elected President and my parents -took me to Washington on the day of his inauguration. We traveled in our -own vehicle, drawn by two dapple grey horses, and we had several -neighbors as companions each having a conveyance of their own. - -"Schools were unknown in our neighborhood and my early education was -derived from my parents, principally, assisted by a maiden aunt, who -spent each summer at our plantation. - -"My clothes were cut out, fitted and made by my aunt, and my hats lacked -any feather trimmings or other finery. The material of my dresses was -generally of a slate color, and but few other shades were affected. All -of our neighbors dressed in the same way, without any affectation of -style whatsoever. But enough of this. - -"The musical instruments of that day were the melodeon, harp and violin. -There were very few of even these, and were confined, the melodeon to -the village church, the violin to our darkey's cabins. - -"We read by a tallow dip during the winter nights, but there was not -very much to read, our library consisting of the family Bible, Bunyan's -Pilgrims Progress, together with a weekly paper published in -Philadelphia, that had originally been started by Benjamin Franklin. - -"It was in the year 1850 that my people began talking of going West, and -tried to glean all the information they could concerning the country -they selected, the best means of getting there and the prospects for -disposing of our plantation. It took us three years to finish all of our -preparations, and on April 18th, 1853, our caravan started on the trail -leading Westward. - -"I was 26 years old, and at a time of life when I could thoroughly enjoy -the ever varying changes of climate and scenery. - -"We found the Indians very friendly, even to kindness, and we bestowed -on them many cheap trinkets in return for food and skins, of which they -possessed a variety. - -"We made many stops on the way as we reached the then frontier -settlements, now large and prosperous cities, and it was not until we -had crossed the Missouri river, near Omaha, that we began anticipating -trouble from the Indians. We experienced the usual hardships and -vicissitudes from this cause, nothing unusual in those times, and -arrived in the then little city of Portland, March 19th, 1854. - -"I startled our little party, on our arrival in Portland, by announcing -that the next time I crossed the Continent it would be on the steam -cars. - -"Long and loudly was I laughed at for my optimism, and it did really -seem impossible for a locomotive to be capable of climbing those -seemingly inaccessible peaks. - -"Had I prophesied all that was in my mind, my friends might have thought -that I was deranged. I could have said that I could see people flying -through the air in vehicles shaped like birds from the Atlantic to the -Pacific and that the almost impenetrable forests of Oregon would one day -be entirely laid low by the woodman's axe. - -"There were many other things which I could see were bound to come but I -thought it wisest to keep the light of my prophecies to myself rather -than give them to unheeding ears. - -"What I saw in those days, however, will not compare to the marvels -which come to me now, at my advanced age. - -"I have given a receptive ear to the spirit which tells me what others -would pronounce 'queer notions,' but which I declare to be -scientifically natural. I will tell you of all these things and you may -publish them to the world, and allow them to be a judge of my -optimistic views. I will tell you what I see and also of what I know -is sure to come, so that all who read may know and understand, and put -themselves in readiness for the great events which are bound to ensue by -A. D. 1999." - -The old lady then, her eyes beaming with intelligence and in the most -natural and unassumed manner, voiced the following prophecies: - - - - - CHAPTER II. - - +The Prophecy.+ - - -Taking a note book from her bag, and adjusting her spectacles, the old -lady began her remarkable relation of events to come ere the 21st -century shall have rolled around: - -"Of course," she began, "I may not be able to tell you all that is in -store for future generations, but I will say enough to interest -everybody and to warn everybody who will care to heed my admonitions. - -"The era of quick transit has already arrived and people love to travel -fast, and opportunity will be given all who care to adopt this pastime. -Very soon the locomotive and trolley car will be altogether too slow for -travel and aerial voyages, both for pleasure and business will ensue. -The force used for this purpose will be varied and may be electricity, -gasoline, compressed air, or perhaps still another potent agent, at -present undeveloped, which will usurp the place of all others, be -cheaper, safer and more reliable than any known energy. The cars will be -made entirely of steel bands and so constructed that but little damage -may be apprehended from a collision with another flying machine. A -parachute, arranged to work automatically will be the chief protector of -this winged machine and this part of the apparatus will be so -constructed as to render an accident almost an impossibility. Indeed, -these carriers will be so made that a party soaring in the air at a -height of 500 feet will look down and express a feeling of sympathy for -those who must brave the dangers besetting life on the surface of this -mundane sphere. - -"These air carriers will be simple, and a good bright boy can -manufacture his own vehicle to take him to and from school and at a less -expense per day than is now paid for street car fare, and at a lesser -risk to life and limb. The grocer will make his deliveries by his air -machine. The butcher boy will abandon his automobile and bring his meat -deliveries by the way the bird flies. As there can be no tracks laid in -the air, no one will be pestering the City Commission for a franchise to -run his company's cars over a certain strata of air, but there will be -cars for hire, just the same, and there will be, no doubt, long trains -operated in the air not much unlike the system at present in vogue on -the surface. The death dealing automobile will be a thing of the past -and even the merry motor cycle will have gone the way of the equine. -Railroads and railroad stocks will suffer and the roads will languish -and die. Aerial locomotion will usurp the place of the steamer and the -steamship, since it will be proven to be quicker, safer and less -expensive. Country homes will be easy of access and, consequently, more -popular and the suburbs will be peopled by an ever-increasing number. -There is no end to the advantages which the flying machine possesses -over the present modes of locomotion and it is merely a question of -solving the problem of entire safety, economy and simplicity of -construction and operation, all of which will have been surmounted in -A. D. 1999. - -"Although the aerial navigation is itself an important feature of future -progress, it is not at all the most prominent of innovations. I will -tell you of the new era of building. - -"Portland in 1913 was considered a beautiful city, but how much more -beautiful does it look in 1999. I will endeavor to give you a little -idea. - -"The wooden houses have become a thing of the past and strong, warm -concrete dwellings are the order of the day. These abodes although -immensely superior to the dwellings of 1913 are less in cost and more -adaptable for homes. Every working man has his own flying machine and -his own home and should be happy and comfortable. The city is compact -and the business houses are lofty and well constructed, safety to -occupants being the chief care. - -"Owing to the fact that there are few, if any, automobiles or other -rapid methods of travel to take up the streets of our city, there was an -order issued by the City Commissioners removing the hard surface -pavements and authorizing the Commissioner of Public Service to sow the -streets in rye grass and Kentucky blue grass, so that the city of -Portland is one perpetual system of parks, where the youngster may play -to his heart's content. Just imagine what a beautiful city we have and -how our past day metropolis would pale into insignificance beside the -picture I have drawn. Roses are planted in the streets and we are really -and truly the 'Rose City'." - -At this juncture the old lady paused to consult some notes which she -read to herself, presently beginning again, this time with a new topic: - -"Emigration flocked to Oregon after the opening of the Panama canal and -under the new conditions many of these newcomers settled in and around -Portland. The great territory of Alaska has been pretty thoroughly -prospected and our city is the chief market for that great and wonderful -country. Our population equals or surpasses that of Greater New York in -1913 and there is work for everyone. Portland embraces the entire county -of Multnomah and a portion of other adjacent counties and extends in an -unbroken line from Oregon City on the South to the delta of the Columbia -river on the North, East to the foot of Mt. Hood and West to Hillsboro. -There are no more bridges across the Willamette river, tubes 75 feet -wide at every other street taking the place of the bridges. These tubes -are about a mile in length and start from Broadway on the West side and -extend to Grand avenue on the East. Public docks extend from St. Johns -to Milwaukie and cover both sides of the river, which is dredged the -entire length of the dockage. - -"Many of the hills back of the city, including Portland Heights, Kings -Heights and Willamette Heights are leveled, only Council Crest with its -historic traditions being allowed to remain. This gives a vast area to -West Portland which is really vital to its business supremacy. Columbia -Slough was reclaimed and most of the manufacturing industries are -carried on at that point. St. Johns was again taken into the fold and -made happy." - -Again did the old lady consult her notes, making a selection for a new -topic, smilingly began: - -"The old Commission form of government inaugurated in 1913 proved a -success in every way. The first Mayor under the Commission, H. Russell -Albee, with his quartette of capable assistants, Messrs. Wm. H. Daly, -W. M. Brewster, R. G. Dieck and C. A. Bigelow set the pace for their -under officials who tried to emulate their superiors' good work, the -public reaping splendid results therefrom. Each succeeding -administration endeavored to excel the former's record and Portland has -been well governed for the past 86 years. Auditor Barbur, too, gave the -city the fruits of his ripe experience in municipal matters and was -rewarded by being elected again and again. When the city swallowed up -the county of Multnomah, additional commissioners were necessary to take -care of the increased business, and so popular did this system of -government become with the people that a State Commission form of -government was agitated and finally adopted. The Governor and his -Cabinet, composed of 12 commissioners were moved to Portland which -became the state capitol. The State Commission had the power to enact -laws and possessed all the functions of a state legislature, meeting -each day to pass upon matters which might come up for discussion or -adjustment. The Governor serving in 1913, Oswald West declined the -honor of running on a state commission basis and that privilege fell to -Robert Stevens who safely guided the bark of Oregon through the -breakers. - -"The long list of state officials embraces many names familiar to the -public in the earlier part of this century, notably, the names of -Sewall, Malarkey, Coffey, Word, Selling, Lane, Chamberlain, Gatens, -Bourne, Nebergall, Lightner, Lombard, Rushlight and many others whose -names were highly esteemed in Portland's early history. - -"The city, county and state buildings embrace five continuous blocks -beginning at Jefferson Street running north, taking in Madison, Main, -Salmon, Taylor and Yamhill Streets, each building being ten stories high -and connected at each third story with its companion on the opposite -side of the street for a distance of five blocks, making it practically -one solid building five blocks long and each building ten stories high. - -"There are fifteen judges of the circuit court, seven of whom are women. -The sheriff and treasurer are women and there are several women serving -as bailiffs. - -"The name of Abigail Scott Duniway is held in much reverence by these -women officials, who attribute to her the honor of being the promoter of -woman suffrage in Oregon. - -"Many innovations have been made in the laws of Oregon during the last -50 years, a number of them being framed and mothered by women State -Commissioners and signed by Oregon's women governors. One of these acts -makes it lawful for a woman to retain her own name, if she so desires -after her marriage and not making it compulsory for her to take her -husband's name, so that if Miss Montmorenci marries Bill Smith, she is -not necessarily compelled to assume her husband's name of Smith, but can -be known as 'Mrs. Helen Smith-Montmorenci.' This act has been the -occasion of a number of our high-toned girls with four syllable names -marrying men of plebeian extraction, so the law works well. - -"The morals of the city have wonderfully improved. There is less -roystering, riotousness and lawlessness than existed earlier in the -century. There is no longer a Home of Detention for boys and girls, -Florence Crittenden Home, a county or city jail, or a state -penitentiary, all of these institutions being done away with as they -were found unnecessary, expensive and not able to deal with the -situation in hand. Instead, a more Christlike form of dealing with the -socalled lawless element has been inaugurated and the fruits became -immediately apparent. Alleged criminals were talked to like brothers and -treated like brothers, the hard spot in the hearts of each melting, -when, indeed, they did become like brothers. Men on the rock pile were -taken by the hand by good and true men and women and made to feel that -life had something in it besides crime, and all became ready and anxious -to better their conditions and their morals and the Brotherhood of Man -became established on earth in its truest significance. - -"And so it was in handling the social evil. None were so vile but would -like to leave their sins; and a revolution for the good was started -which has ever since continued. And this is the reason we have no homes -for criminals, for we have no more criminals. Isn't that lovely?" and -the dear old lady smiled. - -Continuing, she said, "The art of 'moving picture' shows has given place -to the science of 'motion picture' shows. We will say that a rendition -of 'Shylock' is given in New York on Monday. The following Monday, the -very same performance can be produced in Portland, with a counterpart of -the actors' figures, voices, stage setting, even to the minutest -particular, and it would be difficult for one seeing both performances -to tell which was the original and which the copy. - -"Owing to the little need for an elaborate education, children are not -compelled to go higher than the sixth grade, the rest of their education -being made up by practical experience later in life. This, however, -does not extend to those seeking professional lives who are at liberty -to use their time as they choose. - -"Fourth of July, 1999, was celebrated in a way that the men and women of -former days would marvel at. The air was filled with vehicles of all -kinds and descriptions. They all invaded the air from the little tad of -four years of age, who is riding in space at a height of five feet just -within reach of his parent's arms, to the more daring air rider who -soars the skies, at an elevation of 10,000 feet. There were no fireworks -but there was plenty of visiting above ground and music from 50,000 -phonographs was listened to. One mighty band was playing national airs, -and although more than a century and a half has elapsed since the -anthem was written, the 'Star Spangled Banner' was received in the usual -way. There are some new national hymns, but the olden ones seem to be -the most popular. - -"The Rose Festival was celebrated two weeks prior to this event. The -celebration was unique and embraced a pageant in the air, the electric -parade being the feature of the day. A genuine shower of roses let fall -at a given signal from tens of thousands of airships filled the air with -delightful perfume and the spectators with enthusiasm. The performance -was given three days in succession. A reminiscent figure of the third -day's parade was a picture made in flowers and exhibited at a height of -1,000 feet above the ground showing a picture of the first president of -the Rose Festival, who was none other than our dear old friend, Ralph -W. Hoyt. - -"What might appear to the people of 1913 as very extraordinary, is the -manner in which the streets of the city are sprinkled. A huge air bag -with a rubber hose attachment is allowed to rise to a height of about -1,000 feet and water from the Willamette river is pumped up into it by -the good old fire boat, David Campbell, which is still doing business. - -"Attached to the air bag is a regular sprinkling machine and as fast as -the David Campbell pumps the water into the bag it is allowed to fall on -the city, the air bag, of course, frequently shifting its position to -give all parts of the city an equal show for a rain storm. This process -is used whenever there is a drought in Multnomah county, which, thank -the Lord, is a seldom occurrence. - -"Journalism has kept apace with the times and the Oregonian is still -doing business at the old stand but it now occupies the entire block. -The names of Scott and Pittock are synonymous with that of the -Oregonian. - -"The Journal has taken its place among the foremost papers of the day -and it, too, covers a whole block on its present site. It is a monument -to the energy and business sagacity of Mr. C. S. Jackson. - -"The Daily News proved a paying venture and is among the city's -institutions. - -"The Sunday Mercury has long since ceased publication on Sunday, -becoming a thriving morning paper. - -"The Evening Telegram grew so fast that it was compelled to move to more -commodious quarters and occupies that building once known as the -Portland Hotel, which ceased to be a hostelry in 1953. The Telegram -utilizes the entire building which is proof sufficient of its -prosperity. - -"The Guide, a little sheet devoted to general information for the -public is still published by a gentleman, named Stuart, and gives out -correct data as in years gone by. - -"Much of the good in Socialism has been incorporated in the politics of -the state, and the objectionable part of the doctrines were eschewed. -The best ideas of all parties now enter into politics, which goes to -show that there was good in all. - -"One-half of the police force are women, who dress in uniform and there -is a day shift and a night shift of these women police, and the idea -works well. - -"Owing to sanitary conditions somewhat, but rather to a change of mind -and morals, there is comparatively little sickness now prevailing in -Oregon. Ever since the year 1933, when the State of Oregon passed a bill -making it a criminal offense for anyone to recommend or prescribe -deleterious drugs in the cure of diseases, the number of doctors using -medicines have fallen off and drug stores are no longer run under that -name, and the health of young and old has wonderfully improved. The -science of curing broken limbs still continues to be practiced but these -surgeons acknowledge that drugs and medicines have lost their potency as -a curative agent. - -"Men and women dress very differently from former days. - -"The tube skirt is surely a thing of the past and pictures of a 1913 -belle dressed in a 'tube' is put on the moving pictures when it is -particularly desirous to raise some merriment, even if it be done at the -expense of one's great grandmother. - -"The ladies dress in more of an Oriental style which is very becoming -and which allows them more individuality of design. - -"The men and boys have gone back to the old Knickerbocker style of dress -and they look very natty in their new attire. - -"One never sees a horse any more and that species of animal is well nigh -extinct. To be sure, there are some to be found at the city parks and -they are as much fondled and caressed by the youthful visitor there as -was the pet lamb that Mary took to school. The horses' day as a beast of -burden is over, thank God. - -"There are but few of the old stock of Indians left and these are very -proud. Much is being made of them by the whites, who look up to them as -being the 'First families of America.' Their numbers are few and there -is an effort being exerted to preserve and propagate what is left of -them. - -"There is a sprinkle of Chinese and Japanese in the city but the little -people have long since passed the stage of 'undesirables.' They, too, -have had a change of heart and have stopped all their objectionable ways -and have become as good citizens as those of the 'most favored nation.' - -"The Chinamen, more particularly have fallen into the customs of the -white neighbors and a much better feeling is manifest on both sides, -which knocks the dreaded bugaboo about the 'yellow peril.' Both Japanese -and Chinese affect the American style of dress, even to the knee pants. -Just fancy that!" - -Illustration: End of Chapter 2. - - - - - CHAPTER III. - - +More Startling Prophecies.+ - - -The old lady talked fast now, often stopping for a minute or so to look -at what appeared hieroglyphics on her memorandum papers: - -"I told you that I was 86 years old and the period that I am talking to -you about is just 86 years hence, so that I am merely looking ahead 86 -years instead of looking backward that length of time. Please do not -confound my subject to the present time for all that I tell you is to -take place in 1999 although I speak of it as having already occurred. My -foresight is just as keen as my hindsight and all that I am telling you -is a reality to me even if it has not yet actually taken place. But it -will happen so, and just as I relate it to you. - -"I forgot to tell you that the doctors will be under the supervision of -the City Commissioners. They will be paid from the city treasury and all -fees accruing from the public for medical service will be paid into the -municipal treasury. The doctors will be paid according to their ability -and civil service examination will be required ere a doctor will be -allowed to practice. - -"All lawyers will have their offices in the court house and will be -assigned to cases as they come up in rotation. Each attorney must work -for the best good of his client but all cases will have a preliminary -examination before a board of three judges and unless, in their esteem, -the case is a meritorious one, it will be summarily thrown out of court. - -"Lawyers cannot collect fees from clients but will receive a salary -paid out of the common fund, their emoluments greatly depending upon the -value of their services, the number of cases each has won, etc. This -state of affairs is much appreciated by both practitioner and client and -works well. - -"The ministers, too, come under the supervision of the City Commission, -but as it is impossible for anyone to tell how many souls they save it -has been decided that their emoluments must come from their clients who -are the better judge of their minister's value. - -"It was in the year 1950 that it became quite observable that corn, -wheat, rye and other cereals entering into the production of alcohol -had lost the power to ferment and to be converted into beer, wine and -whiskey. This was a startling announcement to the old topers but it was -nevertheless a fact and the science of making alcohol has become a lost -art. - -"One would think that this would put the distilleries and breweries out -of business, but man is very resourceful and immediately those in the -liquor business began casting around for a substitute for their former -product and a splendid one was discovered which more than filled all -requirements and now, Weinhard's brewery still managed by Paul Wessinger -the Fourth, and the Gambrinus brewery, with a Mr. George Leithoff, Jr., -at the helm, are manufacturing a beverage which exhilarates but does not -inebriate. Both of these institutions have grown to five times the size -of the early part of the century and, inasmuch as there can be no law -directed against the sale of their beverages, there is no license fee -exacted by the city from the cafes or other resorts retailing these -wares. W. J. Van Schuyver & Co., Rothschild Bros., Blumauer, Hoch & Co., -L. Germanus, L. Coblentz & Co., still continue in business with new -faces, the old names are still on the signs, but they, too, are selling -a splendid substitute for alcoholic beverages." - -The old lady paused for a minute and with a laugh remarked, "I'd like to -be able to give you of the present day the recipe for this substitute -but it would affect the gift I possess of foreshadowing the future and -I'll have to leave it a secret. - -"The lighting of the city is done by one immense electric light -suspended in the air at a height of several thousand feet which -illumines the city as bright as the brightest day. No deep black shadows -are cast as was the case in former days, but a gentle, steady, pervading -light is given and a person need not have gas fixtures or electric light -fixtures in his home or place of business as the city light illumines -exactly as does the sun. - -"Heat is furnished by the city through a thorough pipe system and it is -compulsory on all citizens to patronize the city's heat. No fuel in the -shape of wood and coal is used and the loss by fire is nominal and for -this reason, the premiums on fire insurance policies have been cut down -to one-quarter of the former cost. The working out of this idea has -materially helped to beautify the city and actually put the street -cleaning department out of business. - -"There being so very few horses raised the overplus of stock feed is -used in the propagation of hogs and cattle and, as a consequence, the -meat and milk product has greatly increased and the prices have been -very much lessened. - -"The disciples of Burbank, the once renowned horticulturist have been -getting busy and as a result many new fruits and vegetables have been -put on the market, their flavor and excellence outstripping anything -known in the early twentieth century. - -"We have now one universal, common language. The vocabulary is not very -copious, the dictionary containing less than 8,000 words but it is -capable of expressing every idea that the human mind may evolve. This -innovation has made it easy, particularly for the young scholar and -student. Latin and Greek, commonly known as the dead languages are now -very dead, as even the churches have given up their usage. - -"High above the clouds at Fort Stevens, is erected a tower that pierces -the sky to several thousand feet, and far above the cloud line. Here are -half a dozen men concontantly on watch with the latest improved -telescopes. Their mission is to apprize the garrison below of the -approach of an enemy by sea. From their lofty height and through the -modern telescope, ships at a distance of 100 miles at sea can be -distinctly sighted and the alarm given to the ever-watchful garrison. - -"Signals between the watchers in the lighthouse and the officers manning -the guns indicate the exact location of the approaching enemy and an -attack can be repelled and the greatest Dreadnaught blown out of the -water at this long range at the will of the gunners. It is in this way -that the entire Pacific Coast is defended, but it is pleasureable to -state, that there has been no semblance of war for over 50 years and all -the earth is at peace. - -"Irrigation in Eastern Oregon and Washington has produced 10 times the -amount of wheat formerly raised and wheat is shipped to all parts of the -world from the numerous and well equipped elevators on the Willamette -river. - -"I must now tell you what I consider the greatest of all the world's -inventions and it seems a pity that it has been bottled up so long -merely to line the pockets of a few sordid railroad owners. - -"The device was invented in 1925 by a young man named Wallace Going and -it consisted of an apparatus which may be so applied to a balloon or -other object suspended in midair, which, when properly adjusted and at a -certain height from the earth, will shake off or cast off the -gravitation of the earth allowing it to suspend in space as an -independent planet. The idea being one of quick transit, the balloonist -after freeing his ship from the earth's attraction will hang in space -till his destination rolls around to him. The earth moves from west to -east, so that it will take a little more than 20 hours, at this -latitude, to have New York roll around to you, but if you are in New -York it would take but four hours to come to Portland, provided they are -in exactly the same latitude. Do you understand me? Of course, if you -started from Los Angeles, you would touch some point in the southern -states and if your destination happened to be New York City, you would -have to take the cars to that point. This has become a favorite way to -cross the continent. It is quick and absolutely without any danger so -very few travel overland by the railroads, that mode of locomotion being -used almost entirely for weighty and bulky merchandise. - -"When young Wallace Going approached the President of the -Transcontinental Railroad with his invention, he was laughed to scorn, -but the young man gave a practical demonstration ascending in his -balloon and allowing the earth to pass in review before him arriving at -Portland again, or rather, rolling around to Portland again 23 hours -55 minutes later. A vast sum was paid young Going for his invention, but -the railroad companies stuck to their privilege of bottling it up, fully -realizing the revolution it would create in business once it was -established. The patent ran out in 25 years when the device became -public property and now it is in general use from Alaska on the north to -Terra del Fuego on the south and there has been very few mishaps to any -of the carriers. - -"You can see, therefore, how the number of railroads running north and -south must have increased and how the traffic across the continent has -diminished. - -"And still the end of the wonders are not yet," and the interesting old -lady stopped to consult her memorandum book. - -"You will want to know, of course, who are in business in Portland at -the time I am talking about, A. D. 1999, and I will gladly answer all -your enquiries, as I have a city directory for the year 1998, but it -will do for our use," and the old lady took a ponderous book from her -bag. - -Illustration: End of Chapter 3. - - - - - CHAPTER IV. - - +Old Names Revived.+ - - -"Tell me, please, who are the proprietors of the department stores in -1999?" - -"Well, there is Lipman, Wolfe & Co., who occupy two blocks, one at their -present location, the other being on the east side of the river. I -notice the name Ramsdell is still connected with the concern and there -are several Lipmans and Wolfes interested in the business. They have -always kept up with the times and never grew weary in the race for the -golden shekels. - -"I notice, also, that Meier, Frank Company are not only in the business -at the old stand, but occupy a 50-story building near where the -Multnomah field once was located. This latter is a grand building and it -required a special act of legislature to effect its construction. The -down town store, which covers an entire block, is devoted to the heavier -and coarser class of merchandise, while the new store is filled with, -well, everything. Here most of the employes of this great business are -comfortably housed with all the comforts of apartment life and the huge -structure is a little city in itself. This building was erected as a -monument to Messrs. Meier and Frank, the founders of the house, by their -great grand children in 1960. - -"Olds, Wortman and King are still known by that firm name and the -posterity of each of the individual members of the house are represented -in the business. The store is conducted on the same broad business -principles which always characterized the founders of the house and -which today makes it the popular place to do shopping. - -"There were other department stores which came and went, but it seems -that these three will 'go on forever'." - -"How is it about the boot and shoe business? Do any of the old names -appear?" I queried. - -"Oh, yes, there are your old friends, Eggert & Young, who are still in -business but they are away up town on Twentieth and Washington Streets, -which is the centre of the retail business. The name of Protzman -appears, yes, it is Eugene Protzman, but probably not the one you know. -He is located at Nineteenth and Morrison and has a nice store. - -"The Rosenthals? Yes, they are doing business at Twenty-second and -Washington, and I notice the name Friendly often appears in -communications from their store which would indicate that the posterity -of the framers of this business are still connected." - -"Who is in the furniture business away off there in 1999?" was my next -question. - -"You would hardly believe it but there is the old name of Ira F. Powers, -who maintains an immense establishment on Twelfth and Yamhill Streets. -His store is the largest one of the kind in the city. - -"Then there is Mack & Abrahams whom you knew once as J. G. Mack & Co., -and who were badly burned out along about 1913. I notice that they buy -furniture in Turkey and other semi-Oriental countries." - -"Tell me about the big stores formerly located on Front Street, I am -very much interested in them, but don't make your answer read like an -ad," I next remarked. - -"I'll tell you about Allen & Lewis for they are yet doing business, but -on a much larger scale. I notice the old sign has been taken down and -carefully covered with a thick plate glass to preserve it from the -elements and it has been hung back in the same old place and it really -looks familiar. They employ an army of men and women clerks and hundreds -of vehicles, mostly flying machines, to carry their merchandise to their -customers. This business is a monument to the sagacity, honesty, -intelligence and fearlessness of Mr. C. H. Lewis, the founder of this -great house. His memory is still revered by his own people and those on -whom he bestowed kindness. - -"The familiar name of Lang & Co., appears on a large building on Oak -Street, near West Park, the founder of which was Isador Lang." - -"Who is in the printing business off there on the outskirts of eternity, -whose names were once familiar to me?" I queried, as the old lady came -to a pause. - -"Well, there is the name of F. W. Baltes and Company, who occupy a whole -block down near their old location, and it sounds good to me. There are, -too, the names of J. R. Rogers & Company and Anderson & Company, but -they are located away up town now." - -"Tell me about the hotels, please; are there any of the old land marks -left?" I queried. - -"Very few, if any. You see, the flying machines revolutionized the hotel -business and most of the finest hostelries are now out of town, several -being constructed on Mt. Tabor, Council Crest and other eminences. The -Multnomah Hotel is still running but the environments and surroundings -have wonderfully changed, the old wooden buildings have disappeared and -commodious, well-built structures have been erected instead. Space is -too valuable down town for hotels, and the traveling public demand more -suburban locations where there is more quiet and better air. - -"Clossett & Devers are engaged in business away down on Front Street, -and occupy a whole block and the odors arising from their coffees and -spices smell just as sweet as they did when you passed by their store -years ago. - -"Now, there is Fleischner, Mayer & Co. They have certainly kept up with -the times generally, being just a little in the advance so as to set the -pace for their competitors. The business is now being conducted by I. N. -Fleischner the Third, M. M. Fleischner the Third, Sol and Sanford -Hirsch, Mark Mayer the Third. There are grand nephews of Sam Simon -connected with the firm and the old names are much in evidence. - -"In the insurance business, I notice we have some of the old names yet. -There is James Peter Moffatt, Jr., Rosenblatt Bros., J. D. Wilcox, Jr., -John H. Burgard III., J. McI. Wood, L. Samuel III, Henry Hewitt, Edward -Hall, F. E. Hart, Thos. Jordan, F. J. Alex Mayer, Frank Motter, Harvey -O'Brien. It is remarkable how the sons of professional men follow in the -footsteps of their fathers' business. There is Erskine Wood, who must be -a great grandson of Mr. C. E. S. Wood, Robert Strong Sargent, -undoubtedly the branch of Harry K. Sargent. Dan J. Malarkey, Jr., the -grandson of our Dan. Russell Sewall, whose grandfather you knew well. -P. J. Bannon, nephew to our own Mr. Bannon. Henry E. McGinn, who is none -other than the grand nephew of Judge H. E. McGinn of the Circuit Court, -the most wideawake, fearless exponent of good law in the state, I find -the names of M. C. George III, John F. Logan, a grandson of our John. -John Ditchburn, once known as 'Honest John,' and 'Gentleman John,' whose -name is among the attorneys of 1999. Here is a list of the rest of these -attorneys: J. D. Mann, Chester Murphy, W. D. Fenton, Walter Hayes, John -Manning. - -"All these are very familiar names to you and they all appear in the -telephone directory for 1999, but I must give you a few more whom you -will remember, and the old lady read off the following list which -sounded good to me: John Beck, Whitney Boise, Geo. Brice, Bronaugh, -Citron, D. S. Cohen, Craib, Dolph, Mallory, Duniway, Emmons, Ferrera, -Fouts, Carey, Gleason, Glisan, Hogue, Green, Hazen, Holman, Hume, C. M. -Idleman, Languth, Logan, Wallace McCamant, McDevitt, L. A. McNary, -Moody, Morris, G. C. Moser, Munley, Olsen, Pague, Pipes, F. J. -Richardson, Giltner, Chas. J. Schnabel, Shillock, Zera Snow, S. Raynor, -Stott, Sweek, Swope, Jos. N. Teal, Upton, Vaughn, Webster, Whalley, -Whitfield, Williams, Ryan, Thos. O'Day, Tazwell. - -"I must interrupt the routine to tell you something about the innovation -in barbering," remarked the old lady, reaching for a paper in her -pocketbook. - -"Let's see, it occurred in A. D. 1951, that an old chemist made a -discovery. He ascertained that by a concoction of sage, sulphur and -some other ingredients hair can be removed from the face efficaciously -and as clean as a barber could shave you. The preparation was made up -into some kind of a soap and the lather applied to the whiskers and -allowed to remain for three minutes when it was washed off with clean -water. This process removed hair from the face without injury to the -skin, doing away entirely with the services of a tonsorial artist. It is -a wonderful discovery, but it had the bad effect of putting a number of -good men out of business." - -"I wonder how this discovery affected my friend, Frank Rogers?" I asked. - -"Well," was the reply, "this occurred in 1951 and I expect that Frank -was not caring much for the barber business then, as he got rich in the -business prior to that time." - -Continuing, the old lady said, "There are now not any more tonsorial -apartments than existed in A. D. 1913 and the sphere of usefulness of -that kind of talent is confined to hair cutting, massaging and such -like." - -The world wags on. "Why," continued my visitor, "you can leave your -measure for a pair of shoes to order and you may come back in 10 minutes -and find them all ready to take away with you. The same can be said -about getting a suit of clothes which takes just 60 minutes to construct -and be ready for wear." - -"Who's in the banking business that I know, away off there on the verge -of time?" I asked of my companion. - -"Oh, there are many whom you know," was her reply. "At least, you will -remember the names of many. Ladd & Tilton still conduct their business -and I notice a number of the name of Ladd connected with the institution -as I take it that the estate is still in the banking business. - -"Then there is First National Bank with many familiar names like -Corbett, Failing, Alvord, Newkirk, which indicates that the new -generation are a branch of the former tree. - -"I notice that the Security & Trust Company have officials bearing the -names of Adams, Jubitz, Lee and others, but as they are all young men, -they must be a later generation than you know. The same is the case with -the United States National Bank, where the present officials bear such -names as Ainsworth, Barnes and Schmeer. Yes, new generation, too. We -have the Merchants' National Bank, Durhams, Hoyts, Watson's can be heard -giving instructions from the different desks but they, too, don't belong -to your time." - -The old lady was getting to the end of her memorandums, but she still -had lots to tell and talk about. - -"I notice," she began, "that the first class buildings like the Yeon, -the Wilcox, the old Oregonian, the Spalding, the Journal, the Commercial -Club and many others of the buildings that you know about are still in -fine repair and have stood the ravages of time very well, but our -climate deals gently with well-constructed buildings and if care is -taken, they will last a long time yet. - -"The Pittock building, erected on Mr. Pittock's old home site, is as -beautiful as it was the day it was erected and it is certainly a credit -to the city. - -"The Elks' building which covers a full block, is further out on -Washington Street and is a beautiful structure. Many elks heads adorn -the walls of the lodge room. - -"The Selling building at the corner of Sixth and Alder still stands and -is in fine condition. - -"The firm of Morgan, Fliedner & Boyce, erected many handsome buildings, -one, particularly, in the north end, being a wonder. Joseph Boyce's -name appears in the telephone directory, probably a descendant of one of -the members of that firm. - -"I notice that in all cases that it is a matter of the 'survival of the -fittest,' and the names of the old people whose descendants are in -business were noted in 1913 for their honesty and integrity. - -"Sig. Sichel & Co. is a familiar sign around town, evidently the -'Footprints on the sands of time,' achieved by our old friend, Sig. -Sichel. - -"The name of Ben Selling can be seen at half a dozen different stores in -various parts of the city. - -"The name of W. P. Friedlander is to be seen over a jewelry store on -Washington Street, near Sixth, evidently the descendants of the former -popular jeweler. - -"Another old timer's name, L. C. Henrichsen, appears over a jewelry -store further up on Washington Street, the proprietors of which are the -great grandchildren of the merchant of 1913." - - - - - CHAPTER V. - - +Prophetess Grows Jocose.+ - - -"I want to tell you a joke which I heard the other day that has come -thundering down the ages of time and which is told about Theodore B. -Wilcox when he was cashier of Ladd & Tilton's Bank, somewhere in the -1880's. This will go to show you that people may forget their Bible -lessons but they never fail to remember a joke. - -"A Frenchman appeared at the depository at First and Stark Streets one -day with a check for $750, payable to Jean Crapo. Mr. Wilcox told the -Frenchman that he must be identified before he could draw the money. -'Identified, identified. I don't know what that means,' exclaimed the -Frenchman. When it was explained to him he said, 'Oh, I comprenez,' -and producing a photograph of himself from his side pocket, he -triumphantly informed Mr. Wilcox that he thought this would be -sufficient identification." - -"Yes," I said, "I remember that story. It was told by Jerry Coldwell in -the columns of the Oregonian, and it is hard to believe that people are -smiling over the story 120 years later." - -"Another story is told of C. A. Malarkey," continued the visitor, "and I -will relate it: - -"Charley was visiting in San Francisco and put up at the Palace Hotel. A -darkey had driven him around in his carriage viewing the city all one -afternoon and as the dinner hour approached, the cab was about to be -discharged when Charley remembered that he needed some neckwear and -told the driver to take him to a haberdasher. The darkey drove around -several blocks finally stopping to ask, 'Where did you say you wanted to -go, boss?' 'I want to go to a haberdasher,' he replied, and the driver -started off again. - -"He drove around seven or eight blocks, then dismounted, and in an -apologetical tone said, 'Look hyar, sah, Ise driven this hyar hack for -22 years and neber gib anyone away yet; you just tell me whare it is -yer want to go, sah, and Ise de boy that can take yer there.' - -"I understand that this anecdote was told the other night at one of the -popular lodges under the head of 'good of the order'," and the old lady -proceeded to look still further into her portmanteau for other items of -interest. - -"Tell me," I asked, "what is the force and energy used in producing -electricity? They must have found more power for there is so much of it -used." - -"Oh, yes," responded the old lady, "If you remember, there was a -movement on foot away back in 1905 to harness the ocean's waves, but it -was determined to be unfeasible. Later on, it was demonstrated that the -project was a simple one and now the highway to the ocean is lined with -poles carrying power developed by the ocean waves which gives an endless -and inexhaustible supply and which is cheap and always reliable. This -means of securing power is utilized the entire length of the Pacific -Ocean, Atlantic Ocean and on all the Great Lakes, Chicago being the -first city to try the experiment from the waters of Lake Michigan. - -"This discovery has had the good effect of making it possible to -properly conserve the nation's water supply and has created a new -industry. Irrigation by means of huge air tanks filled with water and -allowed to rain upon parched spots is the present method of irrigating -and it works wondrously well." - - - - -CHAPTER VI. - - -The little old lady began to chuckle to herself and explained the -occasion for her hilarity. She was reminded of some more stories which -she would relate after she read me a few more of the signs that could be -seen on Morrison Street in A. D. 1999. - -"There is Jaeger Brothers, jewelers, G. Heitkemper, in the same -business. Buffum & Pendleton's kin are located on Morrison Street and -are conducting a general hat and clothing store. - -"The name Honeyman is quite in evidence in various parts of the city -whose antecedents are old Portland stock. - -"The name Gill is seen in three different parts of the city, and all are -engaged in the book and stationery business. - -"L. Mayer's descendants are engaged in a wholesale grocery business away -up town and are prosperous. - -"Harold Von Stein Hansen is an enthusiastic leader of the Socialist -party, his great grandfather being one of the leaders of that party in -the early 1900's. - -"There are a couple of gentlemen in business whose progenitors were -favorably known. I refer to Messrs. Kraner & Stose, whose names appear -on a sign on Morrison Street. - -"Strange to say Broadway is the leading street of the city. The cutting -away of the Seventh Street hill and the three bridges connecting -Portland with the State of Washington has been a factor in the -upbuilding of this thoroughfare. - -"Many newcomers are in business on this street and the names would be -strange to you." - - - - - CHAPTER VII. - - +More Denouements.+ - - -By this time, the old lady had finished her memoranda, and she now -produced a small book which seemed to contain much data. - -"I have not tried to adopt any system in regaling you with my story, but -have taken it up by piece-meal, believing that it would be of more -interest and, if you do not object, I will continue in the same way." - -I assured her that I was very deeply interested and that the story would -be received with much delight by all and begged that she proceed in her -own good way. - -"For 50 years prior to the present date, the subject of cremation has -been vigorously discussed both by press and pulpit and now the people -are ready to give up their ancient pagan ideas of burying the dead and -have adopted the cleaner, and more economical method of cremation. -Cemeteries have been turned into play grounds, tombstones removed and -no vestige of the former gruesome abode of the dead is visible. - -"This new order of disposing of those who have passed away was at first -very bitterly opposed by members of some of the orthodox churches, but -the innovation was finally conceded to be right and that it did not -conflict with the teachings of any church and it has become the general -custom. - -"A favorite way of disposing of the ashes is to take them up in an air -vehicle out over the Pacific Ocean where the urn is emptied and the -ashes carried away by the four winds. - -"It is strange how some people want the whole earth and would like to -have it fenced off," pursued the old lady. "When the science of -practical, safe and easy air travel became fully demonstrated some -property owners had the audacity to erect a sign on their buildings -warning all flying machines from trespassing over their property. - -"One prominent lawyer who owns property down on First Street was one who -objected to having his space invaded by flying machines. He was asked -how high in the air he owned and replied, 'Clear up to the sky.' - -"In carrying out this idea, a railroad company recently petitioned the -City Commissioners to give them an undisturbed and sole privilege of all -space in the air up Seventh Street from the height of 100 feet to 500 -feet and excluding all other air vehicles from trespassing on this -'right of way' up Seventh to Grant and over the Broadway bridge. I am -glad to say the City Commissioners declined this arbitrary spoliation of -God's free air and the franchise was refused." - - - - - CHAPTER VIII. - - +Politics Discussed.+ - - -"I'd like to know a little something about the politics of the city and -state," I remarked, as the little old woman came to a halt. - -"Well, there is lots to tell you about that," she replied. "Take it, for -instance, we are going to have an election for governor next year, in -A. D. 2000, and there are but two tickets in the field, one is the -Progressives and the other the Socialists. - -"A man named Dan Kellaher is candidate on the Progressive ticket and I -think he is connected with the famous Dan Kellaher of the early 1900's, -but," and here the old lady smiled, "we don't think that he will be -elected and one reason is because he fails to be able to demonstrate or -tell his constituents how it is possible for a man to ride 67 miles for -5 cents by the transfer system over a metropolitan street car line. - -"Ralph Clyde, grandson of the boy who did not get appointed candy -inspector, because his father was not elected City Commissioner in 1913, -is running for Governor on the Socialist ticket and everybody in the -state is aware that he is in the race, judging from the stacks of -printing turned out at his grandfather's office bearing his slogan. - -"I notice that the name of Nat Bird appears as a candidate for sheriff, -but that very same thing has been going on for 125 years and I could not -tell if he is the fourth or fifth of that generation, aspiring for the -same office. - -"It is not considered good form for anyone to propose himself for office -any more and it is rather the idea of the office seeking the man more -than it is the man running after the office. - -"Billiard and pool tables continue to be a favorite pastime with the -young man around town, but ivory balls are no longer available on -account of the scarcity of elephants which makes the use of ivory as -billiard balls prohibitive. A very good substitute, however, has been -found to take the place of the ivory ball. - -"I notice that the Oregonian came out a few days ago and asked the -question as to who were the three greatest presidents and who do you -think the preponderance of opinion fell to? I'll tell you. Washington, -of course, was the first, always first in war, etc. Then Lincoln was -second and Grover Cleveland was third. I tell you this will greatly -interest your people. - -"I forgot to tell you that we had a heavenly visitor recently. No, it -was not the reincarnation of any of the Apostles, but just another visit -from Halley's comet. It occurred about 1985 and was a very brilliant -affair. Some of the oldest inhabitants remembered hearing their -grandparents telling of the appearance of a comet along about 1910 and -files of the Oregonian of that year were produced showing photographs of -Halley's comet as it appeared in that year and a prophecy that it would -come again in 75 years. There being well-founded proofs of its previous -harmless appearance, the comet did not disturb the people and its visit -was enjoyed and all were sorry that they would in all probability never -see it again as its next scheduled time is A. D. 2060." - - - - - CHAPTER IX. - - +Strange Occurrences.+ - - "_Henceforth my heart shall sigh no more, - For olden times and holier shore, - God's love and blessing then and there, - Are now and here and everywhere._" - - -"I must tell you of several most wonderful occurrences which have taken -place since 1913," continued the old lady looking at some papers which -she held in her hand. - -"It was deemed necessary, about the year 1951 to increase the water -supply for the City of Portland and it was ascertained that the -conditions at Mount Hood forbade looking to that place for a greater -supply and it was decided to utilize the, as yet, great and untouched -abundance of water offered by Mount St. Helens, and three years later -the pipe line was completed, and water from beautiful St. Helens was -turned into the new and immense reservoirs constructed for the ever -increasing population. - -"It was fortunate for the city that this new supply was projected and -consummated just at this time for it was but a year later that Mt. Hood, -which had been 'groaning' for some time began to belch forth from its -intestines a mass of smoke and lava which bared the mountain of snow and -caused much consternation among our people. The volcano continued active -for several weeks, at intervals, finally entirely subsiding and it has -been on its good behavior now for 25 years. Repairs were made to the -pipe line and Portland, today, is getting a portion of its water supply -from Mt. Hood as of yore. - -"The radical changes in the methods of railroading have caused a new -era in locomotion and rolling stock. Steam gave way to gasoline and that -energy to electricity which held sway for a long time only to be -replaced by a newer power, which is not as yet given out to the public. - -"The O. W. R. & N. Company now occupy a building of their own, 20 -stories high, and I notice the names of Cotton, Sutherland, O'Brien, -Campbell, Buckley, Klippel, are still on the official list, all of whom -are descendants of the officials who served the company earlier in the -century. - -"The old Wells, Fargo & Company's building still stands and that express -company occupies the entire structure with no rooms to spare. - -"The Hasty Messenger & Express Company, founded in 1899, is celebrating -its 100th anniversary, its manager being Napoleon Traverso, whose -progenitor was connected with the company in 1910. - -"There has been a wonderful improvement in the present-day typewriters. -As I mentioned earlier in my story, there is now a universal language -with but 8,000 words. Of this number about 1,000 is all sufficient for -an ordinary person and the genius of the inventor has reduced to -a combination these 1,000 words in such a manner, that it is possible -for a good operator to copy a sermon, or lecture, with ease, on the -typewriter, from the most rapid talking orator. - -"The sphere of usefulness of the phonograph has widened and it is now -'A thing of joy forever.' It seems that this splendid instrument is now -gifted with almost human intelligence. Take for instance, an item cut -from a daily paper and paste it on the cylinder, or disc, and without -further preparation, a voice will read off the item to you in a plain, -clear tone. Paste on the disc, the 'Index of today's news' from your -morning paper and start it going and the items are read off to you -correctly and in good voice. Do you wonder then that I call this a great -age?" and a pleased smile came to the old lady's countenance. - -"Many splendid brains have been working to better the methods and -increase the value and usage of the telephone, and one must 'hit the -ball and hit it all the time' to be able to hold an official position -with a telephone company. The result of these efforts have put the -telephone to varied uses. You can now, not only talk to a person over a -wire, but you can actually see them, life size and just as they are, -exactly as if you were talking to them face to face. - -"Telephones are everywhere, but there are no longer any 'Centrals' and -no more 'Number, please,' is heard, that system becoming unpopular about -1925. Public telephones are established on each street corner, where one -may call up, talk to and see the person who answers the phone. - -"Much telephoning is now being done by wireless and that branch of the -service has developed greatly and is used to communicate with aerial -vehicles. This service has been perfected, many former objectionable -features being eliminated or overcome. - -"I am about to relate an occurrence which is by far the most wonderful I -have yet told and it is a phenomena which startled the world, making the -superstitious quake, and bringing alarm to many nervous people. - -"You know that it was in 1912 that the ill-fated Captain Scott planted -the flag at the South Pole, losing his valuable life in the 'get away.' - -"Ice was forming at the South Pole, each year encroaching more and more -towards the north and some alleged scientific men predicted that the -time would surely come when the ice deposit at the South Pole would -become so great and the weight so heavy, that it would result in -throwing the earth off its present axis, probably tipping up old Mother -Earth and reversing the positions of the Equator and the Poles. - -"As the century rolled on this doctrine became much talked about and -many extravagant speculations were made as to the exact time when the -catastrophe would take place, the most advantageous country to emigrate -to in order to insure safety, and business generally was much disturbed. -It was difficult to sell or hypothecate any real estate, and money and -jewels were considered of doubtful value. Continued cold weather, far -into the summer months, was the usual occurrence for several years and -devastating rains fell upon the earth. Street preaching was the order of -the day, and at every corner an earnest man or woman held an interested -crowd discussing the Last Day, which they assured the listeners was near -at hand. Many people gave away their entire worldly possessions and -essayed to get their soul ready for its eternal flight. As the days -passed by the excitement increased, and aerial voyages to the South Pole -were planned and executed by thousands of people in their air machines. -In former days it was a fad to take a trip around the world -latitudinally, but now all these tourists wanted to go the other way of -the stuff, and make the journey longitudinally, crossing the Frigid, -Temperate and Torrid zones, North and South poles, and the journey was -completed, by some, in less than 20 days. The reports given out by these -travelers were not encouraging and much distress of mind was manifest. - -"One day a report came that the South Pole was in process of eruption -and that the ice was beginning to move. This announcement spread dismay -on all sides, many now accepting the evil prognostications as being -true, and the excitement was intense. The street preaching became more -general but this merely increased the agitation. One preacher, a -benevolent looking gentleman, who was very much at ease during all this -disturbing period, seemed to be able to quiet the fears of the people by -simply stating that God was present everywhere, and he would sing a hymn -with that title. His singing and talks were very comforting to many who -listened to his words and they patiently waited for what was to come. - -"The eruptions continued and every day or two more volcanoes appeared, -throwing up steam and lava, breaking up and displacing the ice which now -began to move Northward. The huge mass was reported to look very -threatening and the many photographs taken of the phenomena only -produced more excitement. For days this situation continued, and now the -ice was fast disappearing at the South Pole and it was also melting in -the ocean as it proceeded north to the fiftieth degree. Disastrous -storms ensued and the Western hemisphere was deluged, but the ice was -melting rapidly under the fire of a dozen active volcanoes. Reports from -the South Pole were growing more encouraging and people were again -taking heart when, one day, the Department of the Interior announced -that all danger was over. Then there was rejoicing, the like of which -never before shook the earth. - -"Of course, the return to common sense was marked by many humorous -occurrences. The people who showed the most trepidation and who gave -away all their earthly possessions, played the Indian act and wanted -their presents back. Many said they were glad to begin all over again to -accumulate worldly goods and the person who was thanked the most was he -who had preached of the Omnipresence of God. - -"A wonderful lesson had been taught everybody and that epoch marked the -beginning of a truer brotherhood among mankind." - -The old lady paused, and, heaving a sigh, exclaimed, "And, now my story -is done. I have tried to illustrate the utter uselessness of borrowing -trouble and being apprehensive without reason. I would like to have you -tell your readers that it is my advice to heed the words of the poet -prophet, 'Rest in the Lord, and He will give thee thy heart's desire.' - -"What is my name, you ask?" here the old lady sighed again. - -"I cannot tell you now, but some day you will know. I hope I have -fulfilled my mission and accomplished some good. - -"In leaving you I would like you to remember: - - "_That all of good the past hath had, - Remains to make our own time glad, - Our common daily life divine, - And every land a Palestine._" - -And my queer little visitor disappeared. - - +End of Part I.+ - - - - - +Part II.+ - - +Other Sketches+ - - THE BAD MAN FROM BODIE. - - -It was not a prepossessing face that entered Jack Hamlin's office one -morning in Bodie, California. - -"I say, young fellow, my name is Jim Slack, and I want ter talk ter -you." - -"All right, go ahead, and I'll try and be a cheerful listener," -responded Jack. - -"I'm looking for a pardner and it struck me that you'd be the right -feller for the job," and the visitor tried to smile a persuasive smile, -but the attempt was a failure. The scar which began at his ear and -extended down to his throat was unbecoming, and his right ear which -looked as if a bite had been taken from it gave his head a one-sided -appearance. His eyes possessed a shifty, uncertain look, his beard was -of a reddish hue and two weeks' growth. His clothes were ragged, -ill-fitting and dirty. - -Fastidious Jack Hamlin took his visitor in at a glance and laughed. - -"So, you'd like me for a partner, would you?" - -"Yes, I heard as how you were a spikilator like, and I want ter give yer -a chance ter git rich quick." He continued, "I am the owner of some of -the most valyable claims in the Lundy deestrict; I own the Sheepherder, -the Dutchman, the Julia Lundy and some other valyable prospects. I want -yer to grub stake me and one-half of all I own is yers." Here the -visitor gave Jack a furtive side glance, but presently looked away. - -"So, I have the pleasure of talking to the honorable James Slack of whom -I have heard so much and I am further honored by being invited to become -his partner, for the mere pittance of a grub stake?" And Jack laughed a -merry laugh which did not please Slack. "You are the man that has -several scalps already attached to your belt and you'd probably like to -add mine to the collection, eh?" - -Jim Slack winced under these insinuations, but he was hungry and he -diplomatically kept his temper. - -"Those were all accidents and they never could prove it different," -sullenly replied Slack. "I did not come here to be joshed, but ter give -yer a chance ter get rich quick." - -"Very kind, indeed; here, take this and go and get a square meal, I -think you'll enjoy that," and Jack tossed a gold piece to his caller. -"Come again and we'll talk the matter over," and Jack returned to his -work. - -Jim Slack was probably the worst character in Mono county. He had been -suspected of stage robbery, but so clever was his disguise that he could -not be convicted. It was known that he had killed three men, an -Irishman, a German, and a Chinaman, but he managed to save his neck -through some legal quibble. When he was drinking, he would become almost -a demon and assail friend or foe, if thwarted. - -Jack Hamlin had made several thousand dollars about this time in mining -speculations, and the money troubled him. He was never cut out to be an -accumulator and money burnt a hole in his pocket. - -"I believe I'll take a chance with you," he said, when Slack returned, -"but I want a straight out and out deal. Go over and have Tom Stephens -draw up the papers and I'll arrange the credit for you at the store." - -No time was lost by Slack in obeying orders, and the next morning he -started for his mines in the high Sierras with an outfit, the like of -which he never before enjoyed. He swore everlasting fealty to Hamlin, -but the latter waived all this "cheap talk," as he called it, telling -Slack he expected to hear good reports from him. - -Two months passed by, and a visit was projected by his new partner to -Slack's mines. The latter came down from his eyrie, the twain meeting at -Lundy, a little camp at the base of the mountain. - -In drawing up the contract, Jim Slack had agreed to cut out liquor, and -much stress was placed upon this part of the agreement. - -It was quite late in the evening when Jack and his comrade started up -the mountain for the mines. The location was far above the timber belt -and in a spot of almost everlasting snow. - -It was too dark to make any inspection of the mines that evening and a -log fire was speedily burning for the weather was very cold on this July -evening. - -The bed was uninviting, composed mostly of wild beasts' skins, the odor -of which was strong and lingering. - -To Jack's surprise the first act of his host was to produce a whiskey -bottle which he placed to his mouth, taking a long swig, offering the -same to Hamlin. - -"No, thank you," said Jack, "I don't like your brand." - -"Good shot, that leaves the more for me," and the miner took another big -swig. - -Quiet reigned for a few minutes, when suddenly, with a demoniacal yell, -Slack drew his gun and aiming it at one of the windows, emptied the six -shots in as many seconds, crying out, "I got him then, didn't you see -him? It was Paddy Mann, whom they say I killed last year. There, I saw -him tumble over the cliff," and the now thoroughly drunken man shrieked -with laughter. - -Another libation was indulged in, and looking at the other window Slack -shuddered, exclaiming, "Ah, there is the Dutchman after me; what does he -want? Let me take a pop at him," and again was the revolver emptied into -the window, provoking much maudlin merriment from the gunner. - -Hamlin laid quietly in bed all this time, feeling a sense of more -security by so doing, but on the alert with his own gun if it became -necessary to defend himself. - -The bottle was again produced and the liquor went gurgling down Slack's -throat. "That was Hans Schmidt that I finished. What was he doing around -here, do you suppose?" - -"Hold on, hold on," he shrieked, "here comes Ah Lim, the Chinaman, I can -see him dodging behind the rocks; let me go out and pepper him." - -Six shots again rang out in the air, and throwing himself on the -ill-smelling bed, Slack pulled one of the skins over his head to shut -out the gruesome sight his imagination had conjured up. - -"That Chinaman ought to know better 'n to come round this yere cabin. I -told him so, but he, too, has fallen over the slide and I'll never be -bothered by him. They been coming purty thick tonight, but I've done a -good job, and now I'll have another drink." - -The big bottle was nearly emptied and Slack again threw himself on the -bed, apparently oblivious of Jack's presence. - -After a few moments of quiet, the drunken man fell into a stupor, -snoring heavily. Hamlin saw his chance to escape, but he realized that -he was taking desperate chances. Were he to inadvertantly awaken the -sleeper, he might be number four. - -Patiently waiting till the sleeper gave evidence of being soundly at -rest, he made for the door, which he quickly opened and passed out, -hastening with all speed for the friendly timber a quarter of a mile -away. - -The night was clear, the moon shining brightly, like it does in the -lofty Sierra Nevada Mountains, and Jack had reached the timber belt, -when an awful shriek rang out upon the air, followed immediately by six -rapidly fired shots. Looking backward, the tall form of Jim Slack could -be seen coming down the snowy trail, and Jack accelerated his own speed. -Again and again did the pursuer empty his revolver at the fleeing -Hamlin, who could not hold his distance against this man of the -mountains. - -The forest was growing thicker, and Jack saw his only chance for escape -was to hide from his pursuer, so dodged quickly behind a huge fir tree, -just as a sharp bend was made in the road. - -With bated breath he waited the coming of his pursuer who passed by -three minutes later, gun in hand and shrieking and cursing like a demon. - -Jack watched him, following him as closely as he dared, till the little -camp of Lundy was reached. - -Slack pursued his way to the hotel bar room, which was crowded with the -usual habitues. - -It will always remain a mystery as to how the affair happened, but it is -said that Jim Slack opened fire on his old enemy, Ed Clancy, who -retreated, only to reappear in the rear, where he poured a volley into -Slack. The latter fell, and, standing over the dying man, Clancy emptied -his second gun into the prostrate body. - -The magistrate of the camp was a witness of the killing, and promptly -exonerated Clancy from any blame. - -The following telegram was put on the wires immediately for the San -Francisco papers. - -"James Slack, widely known as the 'Bad man from Bodie,' was killed in a -pistol fight tonight by Edward Clancy. The killing was justifiable. -Slack has relatives in San Francisco." - -About noon on the following day a message was received by the postmaster -of Lundy reading: - -"San Francisco, California, July 15. - -"Please take care of James Slack's body till my arrival. I come on first -train. - - Signed, His Mother." - -Four days later, the lumbering stage coach drew up in front of the -hotel, and a little, old lady alighted. She was modestly attired and -possessed a sweet, gentle face. - -"I am Mrs. Slack, the mother of James Slack, the man who was killed a -few days ago. Where will I find his remains?" - -Every hat was doffed as the old lady passed out into the back room where -laid all there was of James Slack. - -There were no tears in her eyes as she stooped down and kissed the dead -man on the forehead. - -"My poor little Jimmie," she murmured, "my poor little Jimmie." - -It was decided to bury the remains at Lundy and a grave had already been -dug for that purpose, over which some heartless fellow had placed a head -board, bearing the following inscription: - -"Jim Slack, the toughest cuss in all Mono diggin's." - -"This here don't go, I tell yer," said big Bill Hall, the hotel man, -"and this is what I'll do with sich a board," and seizing it threw it -over the Geiger grade, where it went clankety, clankety, clankety, down -2,000 feet to the creek below. - -"Who can sing a hymn in this here crowd?" enquired Bill. - -"I used ter know a couple of hymns when I went to Sunday School," -ventured Dick Byzicks, and one or two others owned up that they, too, -knew a hymn or two and the volunteers stepped to the side of the woods -to rehearse. - -It was an unusually quiet day in Lundy. The bar room was closed, the -first time in its history. Heads were uncovered as the little cortege -proceeded slowly from the hotel to the newly made grave. Jack Hamlin -walked with the little mother. A quartette of pretty fair voices sang -"Rock of Ages," and "Nearer My God to Thee." Hamlin read a few passages -from the only Bible in camp and the body was laid at rest. - -A representative from the May Lundy mine, whose stockholders lived in -Calais, Maine, called on Mrs. Slack, offering her $10,000 for her son's -prospects, and after a little negotiation, the deal, was consummated, -Jack Hamlin generously waiving his partnership rights in favor of Mrs. -Slack. - -A little marble monument marks the last resting place of Jim Slack, -which bears the following legend and no mark of disrespect has ever been -shown the grave: - -"Sacred to the memory of James Slack, who died July 15th, A. D. 18--. -Erected by his mother, who always loved her son." - - - - - HE NEVER CAME BACK. - - -While the writer was on a long journey recently he was often entertained -by his old friends at their commercial clubs or other hospitable resorts -and an evening of genuine enjoyment was always sure to ensue. - -At Ashland, Oregon, Frank Routledge, the genial manager of the Western -Union Telegraph Company tendered a smoker, at which were present some 30 -telegraph and ex-telegraph men, all glad to get together for an evening. - -Story telling was in order, and as most of the guests present had -traveled a good deal in their time, the tales told covered every known -topic. - -"I'd like to know something about 'Bogy,'" exclaimed George Eubanks, an -erstwhile telegraph man and now a banker of Ashland. "I have heard so -much about 'Bogy's' great ability, but have never heard it corroborated. -Can anyone present tell me if it is really so that he could copy 50 -words behind, all night?" - -"Bogy" was a character whose real name was Henry Bogardus, and he was -one of those itinerant operators who are never content to remain in any -one place more than a week. He made annual pilgrimages to the Pacific, -and in his peregrinations would become acquainted with most every -railroad operator on the roads that he traversed. "Bogy" had a way of -convincing these humble knights of the key that he was a most -extraordinary operator which impression assisted him materially in -evading the inter-state commerce bill. - -It was up to the writer to tell a story about "Bogy," as he had seen him -later than any of the rest of the assemblage. - -About the year 1893, "Bogy" arrived in Portland, and straightway -appealed to the telegraph manager for a loan of $1, which was speedily -forthcoming, for nobody could refuse "Bogy." - -An hour or so later, he repaired to the operating room, where he sat -down to the Walla Walla wire, proceeding to get off business on the -double quick. - -"Who sent for you and what's your name?" queried the chief operator. - -"Oh, that's all right, young fellow, I'm Bogy, and I refer you to our -manager," and the imperturbable artist proceeded sending to Walla Walla. - -The manager informed the chief that "Bogy" was all right, that if he did -no good he would do no harm, and to let him continue his work. - -"Bogy" worked all day and evening and clear up into the night, only -stopping when there was nothing left for him to do. - -The soft side of a bench was a tempting bed for this weary traveler, -and, as he liked to sleep near the tick of the telegraph instruments, -permission was granted him to take the bench into the battery room. - -Several days slipped by, "Bogy" working night and day. He certainly -enjoyed working; it was a pastime with him. - -Saturday came, and with it the usual pay-day and "Bogy" received his -emoluments with the rest of the men. - -"I want you on at 6 P. M. tonight," said the chief operator, "you will -take the Associated Press news tonight." - -"I'll be here when the clock strikes 6 and I'm going to show you -something in the line of telegraphing the like of which has never been -performed here before," and "Bogy" assumed a very important air. - -He was on hand promptly and sat down to the San Francisco wire, where -Billy Williamson was displaying his musical Morse. It was coming very -fast, but beautiful as an opera to listen to. - -Picking up the manifold sheets, he discovered the carbons were not -straight and he began to adjust them, San Francisco sending right along. - -"I say," began the night chief, "when are you going to start in to copy? -You are now 100 words behind." - -"Cease from annoying me, I often copy 300 and 400 words behind. Now, -just wait till I locate my stylus and I'll show you what no other man -can do," and "Bogy" began a search for the missing article. - -Williamson had now sent two full sheets and the night chief was very -nervous fearing an unlooked for denouement, but "Bogy" was impassive. - -The missing stylus was at last found and "he" squared himself for his -grand feat, much to the relief of the very much excited night chief. -Fully 400 words had now been sent but "Bogy" looked wise. - -"I say, my boy," addressing the night chief, "I'm going out for a few -minutes, but let him send just the same. I'll keep it all in my head -till I get back, and when I return you will see something in the way of -telegraphing that you never dreamed of before." - -Saying this, "Bogy" went out into the dark and--never returned. - - - - - WHERE DID YOU GET THAT OIL? - - -The firm of Kelly, Dunne & Co. were doing business a quarter of a -century ago, and the junior member of that concern, David M. Dunne, was -very popular. He made friends and treated them right and they were -staunch and loyal. - -The Portland Ice Company bought a great deal of oil from Mr. Dunne, and -notwithstanding all kinds of inducements, no one else could sell oil to -the ice company. - -The foreman of the ice plant swore by the Kelly, Dunne & Co. product and -would treat with much brusquesness any drummer who had the hardihood to -come to him to dispose of oil. He had full charge of the works and was -held strictly accountable for the welfare of the plant. - -Dr. Charlie Plummer, who was manager for a competitive house, had tried -in vain to introduce his wares but the erratic foreman was unswerving in -his loyalty to Dunne. - -A bright young man, named Tony Neppach, a crack salesman, was employed -by Plummer and it was Tony's duties to crack all the hard nuts. - -"I want you to go to the Portland Ice Company and sell them some oil," -said Plummer to Neppach one day. - -"You will see that I will do it," responded Tony and off he put. - -"Don't come around here with your oil, I don't want it and I don't want -to talk to you on the subject. I am satisfied and that's all there is to -it," vociferously declared the foreman. - -"Yes, but you are talking to an oil man now and my oil is far superior -to the stuff you have been using," replied the placid Tony. - -Much talk ensued, Tony protesting that the foreman could not tell the -difference between the oil he was using and the product he was -endeavoring to sell and offered to set up the cigars for the crowd if he -could tell the difference, but if he failed to tell, then the foreman -was to give him an order for a barrel of oil. It was the noon hour and -some 50 men were witnessing the sale. - -When the offer was accepted, Tony turned his back to the foreman and -produced a bottle of oil from his coat pocket, poured a little in each -hand which he showed the foreman, ejaculating, "Now, tell me which is -your oil and which is mine." - -The foreman hesitated, looking at one hand and then the other, finally -touching Tony's left hand, triumphantly remarked, "Why, that is my oil." -A laugh followed this from the men who saw how the oil had been -manipulated and Tony told him that he had his oil in both hands. - -Neppach received an order for a barrel which greatly pleased his -employer. - -Two weeks passed by and Tony, who had been up the Valley on a business -trip, thought he would drop in at the Portland Ice Company before -reporting to his house. - -Entering the machine room with a jaunty, nonchalant air, he began -singing in a high pitched voice, "How did you like my oil? How did you -like my oil?" this to the tune of "Where did you get that hat?" - -The ice plant was in a complete state of chaos, pipes being torn out and -some 25 men were engaged in still further tearing out the piping. The -foreman was up on a high ladder assisting in the demolishing when he -espied Tony. - -"There he is, there he is," he yelled and he slid down the ladder, -approaching the drummer with a formidable looking monkey wrench. His -language was strong, full of epithets and he swung the monkey wrench -menacingly. - -Tony picked up a huge rock to defend himself, retreating backwards to -the door, where he beat his way to the store to ascertain the cause of -all this turbulent demonstration. - -"Oh, that's so, you have been away and did not hear about it," said the -undisturbed Plummer. "You see, one of the boys made a mistake and sent -them the wrong oil, in fact, it was some oil which contained a good deal -of lard oil, and when they turned in the cold water into the pipes it -cooled off the lard and put them out of business." - -The ice company lost that summer's output and litigation ensued, which -helped to popularize Dave Dunne's wares and Tony in disgust jumped his -job. - -It was not long after this that Neppach was engaged by Nicolai Bros. as -manager of their planing mill and he was given full charge of the whole -business. - -Nicolai Bros. owned some land down around Slabtown, a piece of which -they leased to a Swede, who ran a saloon on the premises. - -The Swede's lease for three years was about to expire and as he was -doing a good business he became desirous to lease it for five years -longer. When he applied to the firm, he was referred to Mr. Neppach as -the proper person to negotiate with. - -Tony saw him coming and determined to have a little fun. - -Assuming a very severe air, he asked the Swede whose beer he sold, the -latter explaining that he had made a reputation with San Francisco beer. -"That settles it," exclaimed Tony, "you can't lease from us unless you -use the home product." Some important business at this juncture engaged -Neppach's attention, the Swede departed, and the incident was -temporarily forgotten. - -A month later, the Swede called to pay his rent and announced that he -was now selling Weinhard's beer and was ready for the lease. - -Tony produced a blank form and began filling it out. He dwelt at length -in the preamble over the great superiority of Weinhard's beer over every -known competitor, and in each sentence would have something to say about -the "Celebrated Weinhard's lager beer." He incorporated in the lease a -promise from the Swede that he never would drink, or allow any of his -friends to drink any beverage, excepting the world famous Weinhard's -beer. Never before or since has there been such an elaborate lease made -up and the funny part is that the whole matter was a huge joke. - -A month elapsed and Mr. Weinhard noticed his new customer. He had been -seeking, without avail, the Swede's patronage, but here he was now, -giving good orders without any solicitation. - -Mr. Weinhard determined to ascertain the reason for this change of -heart. The Swede informed him that he was obliged to patronize him in -order to retain his lease. - -"Would you mind letting me see that lease?" queried Mr. Weinhard. - -There being no objections the lease was sent to him for his perusal. - -No one will ever be able to tell what passed through the brewer's mind -as he read the uncommon document, but he went to the telephone and -called up Nicolai Brothers. - -"I want to speak to Mr. Tony Neppach." - -"That's me," said the merry Tony. - -"This is Henry Weinhard and I am putting up a building on the corner of -Fourth and Alder Streets and I want to tell you that you can have all -the mill work there, without price. Goodbye," and he hung up the phone. - -Thus did Tony Neppach have his little joke, and his firm reaped an -unlooked for reward for the same. - - - - - A GRAPEVINE TELEGRAPH LINE. - - -It was the Fourth of July, 1876, and the City of St. Louis was -celebrating the occasion in the good old way, which is rapidly becoming -merely a matter of history. - -The Atlantic & Pacific Telegraph Company had recently opened an office -in the Missouri metropolis, but the facilities were, indeed, very -meagre, consisting of but one wire to Chicago, which went along the -highways and byways the entire distance. The telegraph company did a -good business, the wire being crowded to its fullest capacity day and -night. - -The advent of the new telegraph company had brought into existence a new -daily paper, the Morning Chronicle, which came to fill a long felt want. -The Chronicle could be supplied with press dispatches, a matter of vital -moment in the introduction of a new journal, even in those days. - -On the afternoon of the "glorious Fourth" some bucolic individual with -more enthusiasm than good sense, shot off several insulators near Alton, -breaking the wire, and as the linemen were off duty celebrating the day -the telegraph company was put out of business pending repairs. - -The writer was the night operator for this company at St. Louis at this -time, and while regretting the unfortunate break and loss to the -company, it looked like there was a chance for a holiday. - -The Chronicle was informed of the situation, and the telegraph editor, -who was also city editor and writer of heavy editorials, came to the -telegraph office to discuss some way of obtaining some press dispatches. - -"You can't expect to get any dispatches without a wire, and there is -absolutely no use hoping to get one tonight," was the report made to the -editor, who was very much chagrined. He said he was up against it and he -could not get out a paper unless he had some telegraph news, and what -was he to do? He declined allowing the office to be closed up till the -regular time, hoping against hope that the wire might come up. - -It seemed cruel to keep a person from enjoying himself on the occasion -of the nation's Independence day, but there was nothing to do but to -remain on duty. Every half hour the editor would drop in to ascertain -the prospect and it was really pitiful to observe how disappointed he -was. - -It grew on till 8 o'clock, with no change in the condition of the wire. - -Hank Cowan, an interesting character, a fine operator, but given to -drink, stepped into the office to borrow four bits. - -"Come, Hank, I'll make it a dollar if you'll give me a lift for an -hour." - -"All right," replied Hank, "tell me what to do for I need a dollar -pretty badly tonight." - -Connection was made from the manager's private office to the Chicago -table and I began calling St. Louis. - -"Take that fellow, Hank," was the next order, and Cowan sat down at the -wire. - -I was doing the manipulating at the key in the manager's office and -said, "Here, you are, I've a bunch of press reports for you." - -"Go ahead," said Cowan and I immediately began sending a lot of -fictitious news. - -The first item was from London and purported to be a dispatch from -Queen Victoria to President Grant, felicitating the United States on its -100th anniversary. This was followed by one of similar import from the -Czar of Russia and the Emperor of Germany. A graphic description of the -day's doings in New York City was next put on the 25-foot wire, Hank -Cowan copying it in a big round hand. News from the nation's Capitol -came next making an interesting budget. An imaginary steamboat explosion -on the Mississippi River came next in order and then a report of a -battle in some one of the Central American States, but as they are -fighting down there all the time, not much chance was taken in making up -this story. - -A report from Chicago of the day's proceedings followed, a big fire in -the lumber regions of Michigan, and then the West was supposed to be -turned on. Omaha reported some Indian depredations in the Sioux country, -a big strike in the Comstock mines at Virginia City, loss of a steamer -at sea came from Victoria, B. C., and an account of one of Denis -Kearney's sandlot speeches to his constituency in San Francisco was -given, when the editor came in. - -He looked over the "news" with a gleeful eye and thanked me again and -again and before I could realize it, walked away with the "stuff." - -I gasped as I thought what had happened, for it had been my intention to -merely have some fun with Cowan and make him work for his $1.00. I told -Hank that it was me and not Chicago that had been sending to him and -asked his advice about confessing the situation to the editor. - -"No, let him print it, it's good stuff and no one in St. Louis will know -the difference," was the advice I got from Cowan and as he was much -older and experienced than me, his advice was accepted. - -There was no more news sent over the "short line" after this and we -locked up the office shortly after. - -I was impatient to get a copy of the St. Louis Chronicle the next -morning, and there were all my dispatches, only more so, for the -intelligent editor had freely padded them showing that he, too, was -quite fertile in his imagination. - -Not only were the dispatches printed, but editorial comment was made on -the Queen's alleged telegram to President Grant, a scathing rebuke was -given Denis Kearney and his followers, attention being particularly -called to the item from San Francisco, in "our dispatches." - -I was a little fidgety for a few days but as time went by and no mention -was made of the hoax, I began to take more courage and laugh about it. - -A month later, I resigned to come West and 'fessed up to the manager -the Fourth of July joke. When the enormity of the hoax dawned on him, -he laughed loud and hearty, declaring it was the most daring, -venturesome and awful joke he had ever heard. I was freely forgiven for -the part I enacted, but the story was not told to the paper. - -This incident occurred many years ago, and in a recent visit to St. -Louis, I looked up this enterprising editor, who had grown rich in the -business. - -He remembered the Fourth of July, 1876, and all the circumstances, but -when I related the story, he laughed so heartily that he declared that -10 years had been added to his life. - -It would be impossible in this day and generation to successfully carry -out such a joke as is just related, press dispatches being scrutinized -for the "bogus" with as much zeal by the diligent telegraph editor as he -would a bunch of dollar bills in quest of counterfeits. And so it -happened again that "All is well that ends well." - - - - - ALONG THE SHORE. - - -About a dozen years ago, B. A. Worthington was appointed superintendent -for the Pacific Coast division of the Southern Pacific Railroad, with -headquarters at San Francisco. - -In falling heir to this position, Mr. Worthington also acquired the -private car of his predecessor, which had been named the "Texas." It was -agreed, however, that the name of the car should be changed, as the -former superintendent wanted to give that cognomen to his new car down -South. - -There was a very wealthy railroad man, in the East, who used to pay a -member of his family $1,000 a year, in return for which this member -would find appropriate appellations for each new Pullman car turned out -at the shops. - -Not feeling justified in invoking the aid of such an expensive person, -the new superintendent decided to select a name, and as the State of -California contains many poetical names to draw from, the time card for -the Pacific division was consulted. - -Such names as "Santa Maria," "Santa Margarita," etc., were canvassed and -rejected, and the little city of "Orilla" seemed to proffer its name. - -By reference to a Spanish dictionary, it was ascertained that the -meaning of the word "Orilla" was defined, "Along the shore," and as the -name was poetical enough and as his line of railroad ran along the -shore of the Pacific Ocean, he determined to name the car, "Orilla." - -This was a flattering tribute to the town of Orilla, and on the first -appearance of Mr. Worthington's car in that little city, the populace -showed their appreciation by deluging the car with flowers. - -The "Orilla" had been refitted throughout and was very beautiful, and -all the employes of the road hailed its coming, for they liked to see it -and the popular superintendent, but there are contrary spirits the whole -world over. - -One night the superintendent, with his private car, was coming North, -attached to the San Francisco flyer, and stopped for a few minutes at -San Luis Obispo, where the car inspector came around with his hammer to -test the wheels of each car. Another functionary was also on duty to -take the number or names of each car. - -"Look yere, Chimmie, wot is dis?" and he began spelling out -"O R I L L A." "Begorrah, that's a moighty funny name." - -"Yes, dat's de old man's private snap" (Mr. Worthington was 35 years old -at this time), "and he calls it 'Orilla'," was the other's rejoinder. - -"'Orilla?' 'Orilla?' begorrah and it should have a 'G' in front of it -and I'm going to put one there." - -A can of black paint was produced and quite a decent looking letter "G" -was prefixed to the car's appellation, completely changing its euphony. - -The two worthies laughed at their alleged witticism and the "Gorilla" -went Northward. - -From his window in the middle of the car that evening, Mr. Worthington -was a witness of the whole occurrence, but wisely kept silent. He -realized if he made a demonstration, the employes would have a laugh on -him and jokes travel fast with men employed on a railroad. - -Arriving in San Francisco, Mr. Worthington had the car put up -immediately in the shops and ordered the name erased and the less -poetic name of "Surf" substituted. Of course, surf goes along the shore, -so virtually the title was not changed. - -The jokers at San Luis Obispo had no joke after all, and probably will -never know, unless they read this story, how it happened that B. A. -Worthington so quickly changed the name of his private car. - -Illustration: End of Chapter 14. - - - - - SHOWING OFF. - - -Some six or seven years ago, there lived in Portland, a rather notorious -young chap, named Otto Prag. He was a messenger boy, private detective, -playwright, actor, candidate for councilman, friend to the newsboys, -etc. - -About 1907, he went to Spokane, where he pursued his various callings, -adding that of candidate for United States Senator to the rest of his -business qualifications. He, however, found himself "crushed" in his -vaunting ambition and he took up the collection of bad debts to gain a -livelihood. - -Notwithstanding the fact that Arthur Green and Harry Murphy had -immortalized the name of Otto Prag in the columns of the Oregonian, the -young man prevailed upon the Washington Legislature to allow him to -adopt the name of Arthur Prague, in lieu of his former family cognomen. - -Arthur Prague, as he is known now in Spokane became a benedict some -three years ago and is now the proud father of a very lively boy. This -diminutive little chap is very interesting, and possessing a mercurial -nature, makes the fact patent that he is in existence. - -The writer was recently in Spokane for a few days, and ran across the -young man of varied occupations. - -"I want you to come out to my house and see my baby and my piano and -take dinner with me and my wife," said the ex-playwright. "You will -have a nice time and I'll feed you well, you must come." - -Yielding to these importunities, a day was set and an automobile took -us to the Pragues. - -Introductions to the family speedily followed, and the baby, Webster by -name, came in for a large share of attention. He was dandled and tossed -in the air till he fairly shrieked with joy. - -"Come, let me show you my $550 piano and my $250 phonograph. And here's -dinner, too, and I'll tell you what I have for you to eat today. There -is two kinds of soup, oyster and consomme, then there are three -sirloin steaks, some ham and boulogne sausage, a dozen hard boiled -eggs, tea, coffee and milk, there is three kinds of pie, mince, lemon -and custard, two kinds of cake, some canned strawberries and peaches, -two kinds of cheese, mashed potatoes, pickles, chow chow, apple sauce -and ice cream and it is all on the table to save time." - -The table was set for eight persons, but there were only four of us to -partake of this banquet, including the baby. Every available bit of -space on the table was covered and there was enough edibles in sight to -feed 20 hungry laborers. - -Arthur sat at the head of the table, his young hopeful on his right and -the writer at the foot, the little wife flitting around to add a little -more to her already elaborate dinner. - -"I say, Hazel, I want to have our guest hear our $550 piano, please play -us some rag time while we eat." - -There was no use protesting and the dutiful spouse sat down to the piano -and began to play, when the telephone rang and the young papa went out -to answer it. - -Little wee Webster set up a yell, but the mother was so bent on her -rag time piece that she did not notice him. - -Involuntarily the writer's hands went up into the air, as if describing -the tossing up with which he had been indulging the child. This was -invitation enough for the youngster, who started for the other end of -the table regardless of any seeming obstacles in the way. He bounded out -of his high chair, plunking his fat little fists into the consomme, one -foot kicking over the custard pie. Tea, coffee and milk were brushed -ruthlessly aside, the dozen hard boiled eggs met an ignominious fate on -the floor and the apple sauce and canned berries were tipped over. -Halting for a moment in the middle of the table where he squatted in the -center of three sirloin steaks, he proceeded to his journey's end, -creating havoc and destruction in his wake. Everything seemed to be a -target for the youngsters efforts, and just as he was about to spring in -triumph into his guest's arms, both parents arrived on the scene of such -wanton destruction. The boy had done a complete job and the tempting -viands of a few moments before became immediate "candidates" for the -little barrel furnished by the garbage man. - -Recriminations between the "newly-weds" and apologies for Master -Webster's rudeness were in order, but the occurrence was so humorous -that the whilom guest is still enjoying the memories of the untouched -dinner with the Prague family. - - - - - "KNIFIN' DE DOUGH." - - -In the earlier days of Oregon the State Fair at Salem was the great -event of the Fall's doings, and countryman and merchant alike -contributed by their presence to make the fair a success. It was a week -when the old pioneer, who lived in the Grand Ronde Valley would expect -to meet his former neighbor in the East, who, perchance, located in -Yamhill County and, railroads being scarce, old Bob and Florrie would -be hitched to the prairie schooner that bore them across the plains -years before, to participate in the annual gathering in September at -Salem. - -More people came from Portland in those days than at present, -notwithstanding the increased population. - -There were no bridges across the Willamette at Portland, and ferry boats -handled with ease all the travel between the East and the West Sides. - -Two brothers were the proprietors of one of these ferry boats, and the -husbands and fathers of the two families indulgently gave over the -proceeds of one day's collection to their wives and children to spend -as they wished in a day's outing at Salem. Thursday was the day -generally selected and every member of both families excepting the -husbands took the early train for the State Fair. - -On one of these occasions, along about 1882 or '83, the members of both -families were a little slow in getting started, and Capt. Robinson -brought the previous day's collections, a good sized canvass bag full of -silver and some gold pieces also, to the train, where he handed it to -the mothers for distribution among the flock. - -"How will we proceed to divide the money," was asked. - -"Why, open up the bag and take out a dollar and I'll do the same." Which -plan was agreed upon. - -"Here's four bits for you and here's four bits for me. Now, here's a -dollar for you and here's a dollar for me, and here is two bits for you -and here's two bits for me." Just then one of the youngsters pulled on -his mother's skirts, and down tumbled the coin, necessitating a new -division. - -The money was put back into the bag and the same system started over -again, only to be found impracticable. - -Several gold pieces gleamed in the bag, one being a double "sawbuck," as -Dixie fantastically described it. There appeared to be no end to the -disputes arising, when Conductor Stroud was appealed to for some of his -wisdom in aiding a settlement. - -The conductor had a merry twinkle in his eye when he suggested that he -would be fair to both sides, but they must agree not to appeal from his -method of adjustment, which was readily consented to. - -Taking the bag in his hands, Mr. Stroud tied up the opening, then -beginning in the middle he worked one-half of the coins as nearly as -could be guessed to each end which left a place in the middle of the -bag, around which he securely tied a string, thus making two -compartments in the bag. - -"Now, we will toss up a copper and see who has first choice." - -This was harmoniously done and producing a huge pocket knife, the bag -was cut in two at the point where the string was tied. - -"This is what I call 'Knifin' de dough,'" laughed the jolly conductor. - -Each one of the bairns was allowed to slip his or her hand in the bag -and take out all it would hold. - -"I wish I had a hand like a ham," cried Gordon. - -"Yes, and I picked out the double eagle," triumphantly exclaimed Miss -Dixie, and all were made happy. - -Semi-annual dividends by our streetcar systems usually bring gladness to -the already bloated stockholder, but they never can experience the -exquisite joy that these two families had in "Knifin' de dough" on their -annual pilgrimage to the State Fair. - -Illustration: End of Chapter 16. - - - - - A MUSICAL ABORIGINE. - - -The train from the East, bearing a long string of loaded coaches, had -stopped at Wallula for dinner and amid the din of the sounding gong in -the hand of a burly negro, the passengers alighted to partake of the -Willis' bill of fare. This was an important hour in the day for the -little band of Umatilla Indians who gathered around the station to sell -their curios to the tenderfoot passenger. - -The captain of these remnants of a once mighty nation was Hawkeye, a -fine specimen of the Indian genus homo. Hawkeye leaned on the corner of -the station dressed in a becoming Indian garb, looking every inch a -warrior. - -Some of the passengers were walking up and down the platform, among them -being a man from Boston accompanied by his 19-year-old daughter, who was -a most enthusiastic observer of the country they were passing through -and the people whom they met. - -Hawkeye soon took her notice, and after scanning him critically, she -cried out, "Oh, see, papa, the noble redman of the woods. How grand he -does look! What nobility is expressed in his countenance and what -grandeur there is in his mein. What a life of adventure has been his -and how, if he could but talk, how he could tell us of the enemies he -slew in battle and how he chased the grizzly bear to his den and the -panther to his lair." - -The Indian was taking in all this flowery oratory, and expectorating a -huge mouthful of tobacco juice, he ejaculated, "Ugh, if white squaw give -Hawkeye four bits, Hawkeye will sing 'Everybody's Doing It.'" - - - - - "THE GENTLEMAN OF HAVRE." - - -The little city of Bodie, California, was known during its ephemeral -existence as being one of the most lawless and riotous places in the -country; but James J. Hill, erstwhile president of the Great Northern -Railroad is alleged to have declared that the town of Havre, Montana, -on his line of road, was the toughest, wildest and the least law-abiding -place in the whole country and there was not a person in the town who -was possessed of any higher ambition than to carouse and indulge in all -kinds of forbidden vice. - -It was to this place that Eddie F. Wach, then 17 years old, was sent to -fill the position of night operator for the Great Northern road. - -Eddie had been messenger in the Chicago office and had readily acquired -a practical knowledge of the business and it was a great day in his -existence when he secured the position as night operator at Havre. - -The boy's introduction to this delectable office was not such an one as -to enthuse a good young man. - -Beer bottles, whiskey bottles, cigarette and cigar butts, stale tobacco -smoke and other equally demoralizing objects met young Wach's attention -on his arrival at the Havre office, and he was besought on all sides to -"join the club." The young man's refusal to partake of any of these -alleged "refreshments" startled all and he became a target for all the -jibes and jeers of the depot habitues and the rounders about the little -city. - -Young Wach took all this unpleasant demonstration in a kindly and good -humored manner, never saying or doing anything to antagonize the men -around him. He selected a respectable and quiet boarding place where he -would retire when off duty. When pay day arrived he would figure out his -monthly expenses, sending all the money left over to his parents in -Chicago. By his unobtrusive kindness, and genial disposition, he found -favor in the eyes of the men of whom it had been so frequently said that -there was no good in them. - -Promotion came to young Wach and a few months later he was appointed -manager of the office. A new spirit was soon made manifest in the Havre -office and all the evidences of riotousness speedily disappeared and the -room assumed a businesslike air. - -For more than three years Eddie Wach continued at this post of duty -elevating his fellow men by his example, never yielding to temptation -which at times fairly shrieked with disappointment in not being able to -make him a convert to the "Havre Club" principles. Every month the major -part of his salary would be sent to Chicago and the young man would -spend his spare moments in study. - -A few days before he was to leave Havre, young Wach received a call from -Mr. Broadwater, one of the most influential citizens of the town and the -state. Mr. Broadwater, although known to Wach in a business way, had -never spoken to him till this day. - -"I want to tell you," began Mr. Broadwater, "that I have been watching -you for the past three years and I have never seen you do anything -unbecoming a gentleman and I have seen you sorely tried. I don't know of -anyone else like you in our city and I want to tell you that I consider -you the only gentleman in Havre. In leaving us I want you to bear away -with you that distinction together with our best wishes." - -Thus it was that E. F. Wach won the hearts and respect of the citizens -of that little frontier town and now as he looks back from his present -official position in Chicago he occasionally thinks of the time when he -was called "The Gentleman of Havre." - - - - - ON THE WING. - - -The late Col. M. D. Crain was a man of decided personality and made warm -and lasting friends. His practical jokes and queer sayings will be -related as long as there is an old timer alive to tell the story. - -The Colonel was a stickler for technicalities and was ready to immolate -himself to his own theories. - -He was in early days manager of the Bloomington, Ill., office. He was -also operator and messenger. - -Operator Crain would occasionally want to draw some money and he wanted -to do it in the right way. So Operator Crain would write a note as -follows to Manager Crain: - -M. D. Crain, Manager. - -I need $20 very badly today; may I draw the same? - - Signed, M. D. Crain, Operator. - -Then Manager Crain would reply: - -To M. D. Crain, Operator. - -Yes, Mark, you certainly can draw $20, as you deserve it. - - Signed, M. D. Crain, Manager. - -After this formula had been gone through and properly signed and filed, -the Colonel would draw the money, but not before. - - * * * * - -In the 70's there was an operator named Robert C. Hayes, who worked in -Cincinnati, St. Louis, Chicago and Omaha. "Bob," as he was called, was -a great operator and was in demand in emergency cases and it was no -wonder that Charles Selden selected him as one of those to assist during -the national convention held in Cincinnati in 1876. - -The convention had been in progress for several days and everybody was -tired and worn out with expectancy. - -One afternoon Hayes, Tom Dudley and Bob Irwin were allowed 30 minutes -for luncheon. Upon their return, the doors of the convention hall opened -and a mass of excited men rushed out, yelling, "Hayes!" "Hayes!" -"Hayes!" "Bob" Hayes immediately left his comrades and flew down the -street. - -"What's the matter?" cried Tom Dudley after the fleeing man. - -"Oh, hush! hush!" cried back the fleeting Hayes, "don't you hear my -creditors yelling after me." - -It seems the convention had just nominated Rutherford B. Hayes for the -presidency and that alone was the cause of the tumult. - -Robt. C. Hayes now holds a prominent position with the Burlington road -in Omaha and his friends still tell this story on him. - - * * * * - -George Lawton, affectionately known to the telegraph fraternity as "Old -Farmer" Lawton, is a familiar figure in the Denver office where he holds -the position of assistant manager. - -"Farmer" Lawton has worked in Denver, lo, these many years. He loves to -reminisce and his stories are good. - -Back in the 70's the "Farmer" used to copy press from "Nip" Jones, at -Cheyenne, for the Denver papers. "Nip" was a fast but erratic sender, -his speed varying according to his mood. - -"Farmer" Lawton had been "breaking" a good deal one night, when Jones -petulantly remarked: "I say, 'Farmer,' how is it that some nights you -take me all right and other nights you break every little while?" - -"Farmer" Lawton's artless reply was, "Why, don't you see, 'Nip,' you -send faster some nights than you do others." - - * * * * - -When Mr. A. B. Cowan was chief operator of the Chicago office he found -himself, on an occasion, needing some help in the printer's room and he -engaged a young Jewess, named Henrietta, to work as automatic operator. -The newcomer proved to be very trustworthy, full of snap, energetic and -intelligent. - -Noticing her excellent work and needing still more help, Mr. Cowan asked -the young Jewess if she knew of any more girls of her race that would -like to go to work. - -"Oh, yes," replied Henrietta, "I know many," and in a few days there was -quite a sprinkling of young women of the Semitic race in the office. - -Passing into the elevator one day Mr. Cowan overheard a couple of -Jewesses in close conversation. - -"How is it," asked one, "that so many of our kind of people get jobs -here?" - -"Ah, don't you know?" was the reply. "Well, I'll tell you. Don't you -know A. B. Cohen (Cowan), chief operator?" - - - - - HE KNEW A GOOD THING. - - -Some years ago a fine looking, elderly gentleman could be seen -hob-nobbing with such old timers on Front Street as Wm. Wadhams, -Sylvester Farrell, Thomas Guinean and others of that generation, and he -was always attentively listened to. There was so much of benevolence and -philanthropy in his countenance that one involuntarily took a second -look at him. - -His name was Jim Winters, and he lived on a little farm down the river, -where he did a little cultivation of the soil, but spent much of his -time acting as a fire warden, protecting the forests from careless -hunters. - -One day Winters appeared in Portland and announced that he was going to -quit the country and would make California his future home, and much -regret was expressed by his friends over his decision. - -Jim Winters went to California, locating in the Sacramento Valley, near -the little town of Vacaville, where he bought a small piece of land, and -proceeded to put it in a state of cultivation. - -Although practically a farmer on a small scale, Jim Winters went about -doing all the good he could, alleviating suffering and want as much as -laid in his power. He was present at the sick bedside of friend or -stranger, and Chinaman, Japanese or negro were, alike, his brothers, and -would receive his care, if sick or in distress. - -He did not have much to go on, but what he possessed was freely given, -and Winters made many friends in that little community. - -There was a Bible in the Winter's cabin and some curious friend, in -looking it over, discovered that Jim's birthday was the 10th of -September, and it was deemed that the proper thing to do to celebrate -such an event would be to supply his larder and other wants by donations -from among the friends he had made in the valley. - -Everybody seemed to have an offering to make and varied were the -presents tendered. - -There was a smoking jacket from Mrs. Jones whose husband he had nursed -during his last illness without compensation, there was a pair of -slippers from Mrs. Smith, as a recognition of services rendered her -father, a box of cigars from Wing Fat, a Chinaman to whom Winters had -been kind, tea and coffee from Harra Alodsta, the young Japanese who had -been nursed through the smallpox, and many others who came with presents -until the little cabin was full to running over. - -The company gathered to pay their respects, and as each package was open -for inspection, some merriment was caused by the curious presents which -sometimes were offered. For instance, James Ladd tendered a present of a -Boston bull pup, Mrs. Thompson gave a present of two small kittens, but -it was not till a modest looking package offered by George Stroud was -received that everybody was agog with expectancy. - -The package was wrapped up in true express style, indicating the donor -was an adept in the art of proper wrapping. - -"What's in it?" was asked on all sides and many conjectures were made. - -"Looks like a package of music," said one. - -"It might be a new Bible, for it is paper and weighs heavy," ejaculated -another, but all were disappointed. - -When the package was opened a lot of old papers tumbled out, in a more -or less state of dissolution, some whole and some quite dilapidated. - -Everybody laughed, but seemed to regard the joke as a little untimely. - -"Hold on here, my friends," cried Winters, "this is no joke. I say this -is not a joke. Why, my friends, these here papers are Oregonians, and I -have not seen a copy of the Oregonian for nigh onto 15 years. Yes, my -friends, I appreciate all your presents, but these Oregonians are more -precious than anything else." - -It therefore was apparent that Jim Winters showed where his heart was, -for "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." - -Illustration: End of Chapter 20. - - - - - INADEQUATE CUSPIDORS. - - -The Chicago office of the Western Union Telegraph Company (in 1877) had -been noted for the manliness of its employes, who realized that they -were men and women, and for this reason entitled to the consideration of -the local as well as the general officials. - -It became necessary, sometimes, to have this fact impressed on the minds -of those immediately in charge, who relegated to themselves authority -not vested in them. - -It was considered the wise thing to hire a hall, and there to meet once -a week to discuss the situation, and to determine upon the most -businesslike manner of procedure to meet the exigencies of any case in -hand. - -Platt's hall, on the south side, was selected for this purpose, and -every Sunday, a meeting was held, to discuss the complaints and -grievances of the employes assembled. - -Wm. J. Lloyd was the presiding officer on these occasions, and he was a -glorious worker in the cause. - -Much good resulted from this "getting together" and it was found to be a -simple matter to adjust the grievances, once they were uncovered and -aired. - -There was present at one of these meetings, B. E. Sunny, who was night -manager for the Atlantic & Pacific Telegraph Company. This company never -had any trouble with their employes, and if one were disposed to do -half-way right, he would not be censured or reprimanded by his -superiors, and the office was very pleasant to work in. - -"I notice we have Mr. Sunny, of the A. & P. with us today," remarked -President Lloyd. "We would like to hear from him, and if he has any -grievance against his company, we would like to have him state the -nature of it and we promise to try and adjust the difficulty." - -Mr. Sunny protested that he came to attend the meeting merely as an -on-looker, and knew of nothing that he could enter a complaint against. - -The president demurred at this statement, saying he could not conceive -of such an earthly paradise as a telegraph office where all were -satisfied and where there were no grievances. - -"Well, come to think of it, there is a grievance we have that should be -remedied," said Sunny. "I have spoken to the manager and superintendent, -but with no avail, and the evil still continues. Our cuspidors in use at -our office are not much larger than a tea cup and wholly inadequate to -take care of the expectorations of a liberal user of the weed, and I -have asked for larger utensils to accommodate these copious -expectorations, but no relief has as yet come and I think it will -require executive action to force the issue." - -"The matter is referred to the Grievance Committee with request that it -be adjusted at once," said President Lloyd, and the meeting was -adjourned. - -It is related that more elaborate cuspidors graced the Atlantic & -Pacific operating room a few days later, indicating the efficacy of -determined organization. - - - - - NO JOBS, BUT VACANCIES. - - -The following story has been told and re-told years ago, in most every -large telegraph office in the country, but has never appeared in print. -The incident is quaint and worthy of a place in the literature of the -telegraph. - -Jake Tallman was a well known itinerant knight of the key and in the -course of his meanderings found himself one summer day in the City of -New Orleans. Tallman was a fine operator and a good, companionable -fellow, but, as the boys used to say, it was as hard to enter the -kingdom of heaven as it was to obtain a position in the New Orleans -office. Considerable diplomacy was therefore necessary to ascertain -the entering wedge. - -There happened to be a vacancy in the office about the time of Tallman's -arrival and his old friend, Dick Babbitt, determined to assist in -placing him. - -David Flannery was the superintendent and he was a "Fine old Irish -gintleman, one of the rare old kind." - -Babbitt related to his friend that it would be a good stunt to go to -church the following Sunday and take a seat in Mr. Flannery's pew and -by some means attract that gentleman's attention to his presence. This -would serve to pave the way to an introduction the following day when he -could plead his cause. - -Acting on the suggestion, Tallman sallied to church a little ahead of -the other worshippers, and asked for, and was escorted to the Flannery -pew. - -A few minutes later the superintendent came leisurely up the aisle and -took his seat along side of his expectant employe. - -Tallman was not familiar with the order of procedure in churches, but -carefully watching others and following their example he was able to -pass off as one of the most devout. In the course of the services, he -handed Mr. Flannery a book, who glanced at it and put it aside, giving -the irrepressible Jake a stony glare which would seem to say that the -young man did not know his business, and Tallman felt rebuked but not -intimidated. - -The following morning Tallman called at Mr. Flannery's office and after -the regular morning salutations had passed between them, he said: - -"Mr. Flannery, I saw you at church yesterday." - -"Oh, you are the young man that sat in my pew and tried to show me some -courtesies," replied the affable superintendent. - -Believing that he had created a good impression Tallman grew bolder, -and said that he believed in going to church on Sunday and related an -imaginary conversation in Omaha several years before. Flannery appeared -interested and finally asked what service he could be to his visitor. - -"Well, I tell you, Mr. Flannery, I am an operator and I am looking for a -job and I understand you have a job here at the present time." - -Mr. Flannery placed his spectacles on the end of his nose and giving the -applicant a very severe look, which was intended as a reprimand, -ejaculated in an icy tone: - -"Young man, I want yees to know, that my operators are all gintlemen. We -don't have 'jobs' here, but we sometimes have vacancies." - - - - - PHENOMENAL TELEGRAPHING. - - -It was in the Nation's centennial year that the writer was employed by -the Western Union Company, at St. Louis, and worked, what was called in -those days, the "Long Horn" wire to Texas. - -The hours of labor were from 5 P. M. till lines were cleared up, -generally before midnight, and all bent their best efforts in keeping -business moving. - -An adjournment to Sprague & Butler's rotisserie after the evening's work -was performed, where a substantial spread was in readiness, was next in -order, and here it was that "shop talk" was indulged in and a good time -was sure to follow. - -Fred B. Moxon was the pride of the office. He was still in his teens, -but a master of his chosen profession. He worked the New Orleans wire, -opposite the renowned Bert Ayres, the finest operator in the world, and -the amount of business handled on that wire was marvelously great. Ayres -and Moxon would get down to their work as if they had not a second to -spare, but the effort was easy for them and neither suffered from -nervous prostration. - -One night there happened to be unusually heavy business on the New -Orleans wire, but just at 11:55 P. M., Moxon sent his last message, -remarking, "I'm off now, good night." - -"Wait a second," said Ayres, "our N. Y. wire is down and we have about -100 messages to go there and you'll have to relay 'em." - -Visions of a deferred lunch and a weary walk to his room on Targee -Street, all alone, flitted across Mox's mind, but he had lots of -friends, who were ready to help out with their services. - -"I've got a scheme," cried Moxon, and the services of Sid Fairchild were -secured. - -"I'd like to have you cut the N. O. wire in on four different local -setts," which was speedily done. - -Moxon secured the aid of Charlie Day, Thomas P. Wheeler and the writer, -who took their respective seats at the quartette table. - -"I say, Bert, tell me just how many you have on hand," asked the St. -Louis man. - -"There are precisely 120, and they are all night messages, all from New -Orleans and all are destined for New York." - -"All right, you need not say 'night message,' omit the place from, date, -all punctuations, 'sig' and cut 'em to the bone," came from St. Louis, -"and mind you, hurry up," taunted Moxon. - -This was probably the first time in his life that Albert Ayres was -requested to "hurry up," he being used to hear the opposite, "to slow -up," and his black eyes snapped in anticipation of the fun he was about -to have. - -His key flew open and a fire of dots and dashes ensued, which to a -layman might sound like shot poured into a tin horn. - -The reputation of the whole office seemed to be at stake, and all -gathered around to see, what was rightly thought would be an -unparalleled feat of rapid transmission. - -Moxon took the first message, Day the second, Wheeler the third, while -the writer handled the fourth, each rotating in this manner, filling in -dates, destinations, etc., awaiting his turn to copy the next message. - -The excitement was intense when it was announced that 12 messages had -been received in five minutes. - -There were no breaks, or interruptions, and at 12:55 A. M., precisely -55 minutes from the starting time, the 120 messages were received and -were en route to New York, accomplishing, probably, the most unequalled -feat of fast sending ever attempted. - -The matter was kept an office secret and Moxon received much credit. It -never leaked out how his tact secured ready co-operation and enabled him -to cope with a difficult situation. - - - - - HIS OLD KENTUCKY HOME. - - -While traveling recently through the South, the writer was marooned for -several hours near Horse Cave, in Kentucky. The Cumberland River was -very high, swamping the darkies' cabins en route, compelling the colored -people to take refuge on their roofs, where they waited "fo' de ribber -to go down." - -The negroes accepted the situation very cheerfully, many playing their -banjoes and singing olden time melodies and making light of their -predicament. - -Almost involuntarily, I began humming "My Old Kentucky Home" and my -thoughts were of the "yellow fields o' corn," when a voice behind me -inquired, "Do you like that song?" I assured him that the tune was all -right, but the words were a trifle silly. - -"Well, I don't think so," he remarked, "the words and air are both very -sweet to me, and if you'll make room for me, I'll tell you how that song -compelled me to make a trip of 2,000 miles." - -Space was given him and he began his narrative. - -"It was five years ago that I was induced to go west by the alluring -advertisements of the railroad company, who related how easy it was to -speedily get rich in Colorado. - -"I started with my outfit and a couple of weeks later located at Cripple -Creek, then a prosperous mining camp. - -"Well, stranger, I didn't like it there in the mountains, I couldn't get -used to the country and the people, and the climate was so different -from 'Old Kaintuck.' Why, it was just as liable to snow on the 4th of -July as it was on the 1st of January. - -"It was very lonesome for me and I longed to be home again with my dear -old friends, and I determined to remain at home if I ever got back. You -have no idea what homesickness is until you have had the actual -experience. - -"About 11 o'clock one night, I was passing a saloon near my home when -I heard a phonograph playing 'Kentucky Home.' - -"I entered the place and asked the bartender to change a silver dollar -into nickels, which he did. - -"I sat down by the phonograph and played that piece over and over and -over again, till my nickels were gone, then I changed another dollar -which went the same way. - -"I was, by this time, completely saturated with 'My Old Kentucky Home' -and the longing to return came so strong that I straightway went to my -hotel, packed my trunk, paid my bill, purchased a ticket for Louisville -and took the 4 A. M. train for Denver, from whence I departed for home -and here's where I'm going to live and die, in spite of all inducements -to show me some more favored clime. - -"Yes, I love 'Kaintuck' and I love that old song you hum," and the -stranger was singing his favorite air when the train pulled into Horse -Cave. - -Illustration: End of Chapter 24. - - - - - THE OFFICE AT SPIRIT LAKE. - - -Mr. Hugh McPhee, the superintendent of the Western Union Telegraph -Company at Los Angeles, Cal., was night operator at Spirit Lake on the -trans-continental line in his early boyhood days. Every operator that -worked for the trans-continental line knows Spirit Lake because each one -of them served an apprenticeship at that station. - -The O'Shaughnessys kept a boarding house at Spirit Lake, the only house -at this dismal place, but because young McPhee insisted upon wearing a -"boiled" shirt and white collar, he found himself debarred from putting -his feet under the O'Shaughnessy table. The young man, however, was -full of resources and determined to do his own cooking and sleep in the -office. - -The first station east of Spirit Lake was then called Hades and the -station west was named Satan. McPhee would get his milk and eggs from -Hades and his staple groceries and meats from Satan. The names of these -stations have long since been changed to something more euphonious. - -The fact that there was an operator in Spirit Lake office at night -induced the belated trainmen to call upon him repeatedly for orders -helping them over the road and presently McPhee found he was working as -much at night as he was during the day. An appeal to the superintendent -was made and a few days later the train stopped at Spirit Lake and a -tall young man, very dudishly dressed, stepped into the office. - -"My name is Archibald Merriman and I am to be night operator at this -station," began the young man. "Where can I find a boarding house?" - -Young McPhee told him that he would have to take "pot luck," that there -was no hotel or boarding house, but that he could share his commissary. - -This did not seem to greatly enthuse Merriman, who stated that he did -not know how to cook or make a bed. He was from Nova Scotia and he -thought that if he could go back there he would never return. - -He worked for five nights and one morning he was missing and nothing was -ever heard of him afterwards. - -An old Indian called "Big Thunder," but better known as "Medicine John," -was a frequent visitor to this lonely depot and he suggested that the -"Evil Spirits" in the lake might have kidnapped the night operator and -thrown him into the lake, and inasmuch as no claim was ever made for the -five days' work performed by Merriman, a matter so very unusual to the -telegraph company, one is lead to believe that the old Indian was -correct. - -Big Thunder had purchased from Merriman a big brass watch and chain, -which he carried on the outside of his coat. The Indian had also fallen -heir to Merriman's plug hat which is still historical in Spirit Lake. -When Big Thunder was asked the time, he would gravely open the watch, -gaze for a minute at the hands and give out the information "Just half -an hour." Were he asked a hundred times a day, he would never deviate -from his reply, "Just half an hour." - -Spirit Lake is now a great summer resort. The O'Shaughnessy hovel has -made way for a very pretentious hotel, "Big Thunder" no longer gives out -the correct time to enquirers and the spirit of progress is marching on. - - - - - THE INDIANS WERE TOO LOYAL. - - -There are but few oases in the great Arizona desert, and that part of -our glorious country offers few allurements to the American youth. Hence -it was a surprise to the friends of young Clarence Vincent when he took -his departure from the fleshpots of San Francisco to take up his line of -march to Maricopa Wells, where he accepted the position as manager for -the telegraph company at that point. - -Besides the white inhabitants of Maricopa, which numbered twelve men and -one woman, there were a goodly number of Indians who, following a -migratory inclination, made the Wells a starting, as well as a -finishing point, in their junketings on box cars and flat cars -throughout the territory of Arizona. - -These native sons and daughters were ardent admirers of the telegraph -and sometimes of the operator of the telegraph, and male and female -would cluster around the tiny office, watching young Clarence as he sat -at work at his key. - -Many of these aboriginies were interesting characters, and as the weeks -glided by, Vincent acquired enough of the Indian tongue to make himself -intelligible to the pretty maidens of the cactus territory. These shy -maidens were not unlike their white sisters, and a little flattery was -gratifying to their vanity, and when Vincent in his Indian monosyllabic -dialect told Miss Mahala that her new pink blanket was very becoming, -and when he assured Mahala's cousin, Cahecha, that the blue ribbons in -her hair made her look like a queen, he entirely won their hearts. - -During the two years and more that Clarence Vincent tarried at Maricopa -Wells, he made the acquaintance of pretty nearly the entire Indian tribe -in that section and when he left to accept the managership of the -Phoenix office he was given a genuine Indian farewell. - -A year or so later Clarence Vincent had become one of the leading -citizens in Arizona's metropolis; he had renounced the frontier garb -worn by the denizens of the Wells, and donned in its stead a faultless -tailor-made suit, and he was quite a Beau Brummel in Phoenix society, -where he was thought the "proper caper" by the young ladies. - -The Indians of Maricopa Wells still took advantage of the indulgence of -the railroad company and pursued their migratory practices. One day -Clarence Vincent started for lunch and noticed at a nearby fruit and -confectionery store a crowd of some twenty-five Indians, mostly squaws -with papooses swung over their backs and some young Indian maidens. He -passed them by without giving them any attention, but not so the -Indians; they had recognized in him the telegraph operator of Maricopa -Wells, and with many guttural "Ugh, Ugh, Ugh's" they followed him down -the street single file to his favorite restaurant, where they stood on -guard on the outside, varying their watch by pressing their noses to the -window panes in true Indian style. - -Young Vincent was greatly chagrined with so much attention and -consideration from his former playmates of the oasis, but he was -reluctant to introduce these simple children to the select society in -which he moved, and he compromised the matter by buying them one and -all, a box of bon bons at the nearest confectionery store. - -This incident occurred many years ago, but Mr. Vincent, now the -dignified and courteous manager of the Western Union Telegraph Company, -of Oakland, Cal., loves to linger over the memory of the happy days he -spent in Arizona. - - - - - A GOVERNOR FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES TOOK THE BULL BY THE HORNS. - - -It was ten minutes past the midnight hour; the last train for the night -had pulled out, and J. Frank Howell, the night operator at Tin Cup, -Ariz., began preparations for a little rest. - -It was in the month of August, and the full harvest moon beamed down -through the clear atmosphere resplendent and as bright almost as the -midday sun. Glancing out towards the south trail Howell could see a -horseman coming at full speed towards the lonely station. A few minutes -later an active, fine looking man hurried in. - -"I have a very important telegram to send to the Governor. I must get an -answer in half an hour or an innocent man perishes. Come, do all you can -and as quickly as you can!" - -The speaker was Lee Henniger, the sheriff of Dos Cabezas. He had ridden -forty miles since nine o'clock over the sandy desert to Tin Cup hoping -to obtain a reprieve for Bob Beecher, who was under sentence to die at -daybreak for murder. - -A few hours previous a dying Mexican had confessed to the murder of -which Beecher was to suffer. Frank Howell spent five minutes in vain to -raise "Px." He knew that the night operator there was taking press -reports and could not hear him. Being, however, full of resources he -called up the St. Louis office and sent the following message: "Chief -operator, San Francisco: Have Phoenix answer on local quickly, a man's -life is in jeopardy." Signed, "Howell, Tin Cup." - -It was with great joy that he heard an answering tick, tick from "Px" -a few minutes later, and the following telegram was put on the wire: -"Governor Smithers, Phoenix: Information just elicited that proves that -Beecher condemned to be executed at daybreak this morning is innocent. -Please wire reprieve, not a minute can be lost." Signed, "Lee Henniger, -sheriff." - -The operator at "Px," Paul G. Tompkins, realized the importance of the -message and standing San Francisco off for a few minutes hastened to -deliver the telegram. - -Arriving at the Governor's house, instead of finding the mansion dark -and everybody asleep he was surprised to observe a big crowd of ladies -and gentlemen seated on the veranda, while strains of popular music from -the ball room filled the air. Tompkins quickly asked for the Governor -on important business and he noticed that there seemed to be some -hesitancy in sending for him. Presently a lady, the Governor's wife, -came to the door. - -"Won't your business do in the morning?" was asked. Tompkins replied in -the negative and the lady withdrew, a gentleman appeared to represent -her. "The Governor has retired," said this gentleman, "and cannot be -disturbed until morning." - -Tompkins inquired for the private secretary and also for the Secretary -of the Territory and ascertained that both these functionaries were out -of town. - -"Can't you possibly awaken the Governor?" queried Tompkins. - -"No. To tell you the truth about it, the Governor unfortunately drank a -little too much wine and Warwick whiskey and he is dead to the world; -a gatling gun would not arouse him, and he is absolutely off the face of -the earth until nine o'clock in the morning," was the information given -young Tompkins. - -"Then this glorious territory is at present without a Governor, private -secretary, or Secretary of the Territory," ejaculated Tompkins. As he -wended his way back to the office, he had made up his mind what to do -and proceeded to carry out his determination. - -He called up Tin Cup and sent the following telegram: "To Lee Henniger, -sheriff Dos Cabezas: The reprieve is granted to Robert Beecher for ten -days. Regular papers go forward in the morning mail." Signed, "H. Y. -Smithers, Governor, per Paul G. Tompkins, acting Governor pro tem." - -Ten o'clock the next morning Paul Tompkins appeared at the capitol, -telegram in hand, which he handed the Governor, who looked a wee bit -groggy. - -"Good Heavens!" said the Governor. "This telegram should have been -delivered ten hours ago, why was it not?" and the Governor grew very -much excited. - -"For the reason, Governor, that you were 'under the weather' and -couldn't be wakened, and there was nobody in the city to attend to your -business," replied the placid Tompkins. - -"Then the poor fellow is hanged by this time, and I am guilty of the -execution of an innocent man," and the Governor broke down completely. - -"That would have been true had it not been that I took the liberty of -usurping your place for fifteen minutes," and Tompkins showed the -telegram he sent in reply. - -Governor Smithers was overjoyed with Tompkins' actions and thanked him -again and again, and a few weeks later he further showed his -appreciation by appointing Paul G. Tompkins to a lucrative position in -the Territory. - -Sheriff Henniger arrived in Dos Cabezas in the nick of time. The rope -was already around Beecher's neck when one of the deputies who was -standing near, spyglass in hand, recognized his chief coming down the -trail swinging aloft a paper which was proved to be the first and only -official act of Paul G. Tompkins, acting Governor pro tem. - - - - - THE SEVEN MOUNDS. - - -Many solicitous enquiries have been made in the last decade relative to -the whereabouts or probable fate of Aaron B. Hilliker, telegraph -operator, minstrel and story writer. - -Aaron Burr Hilliker was known from New York to San Francisco prior to -the War of the Rebellion. His was an adventurous nature, and he assisted -materially in making the path to the great West easier for the next -comer. He possessed a gentle spirit and many lovable traits, which -endeared him to all his friends, who were legion. The following weird -story which came to the knowledge of the writer may establish beyond -question the passing of Aaron B. Hilliker, and his last days on earth. - -A party of thirteen left Boston in May, 1888, bound for the West. It -consisted of John B. Lansing, his wife and her sister, and eight young -fellows around town, well to do and of an adventurous turn of mind, the -party being under the guidance of two middle-aged prospectors. These two -latter personages had come to Boston to organize this party for the -purpose of prospecting and developing some alleged wonderful gold mines -in Southern Nevada and California. - -The members of this little party were in high spirits as they pursued -their journey to the far West; the grandeur of the scenery and the -vastness of the country filling all with awe and admiration. - -Many stops were made en route on the trip, mostly in Colorado, Wyoming -and Utah. At one of the stations in Colorado Mr. Lansing and his wife -formed the acquaintance of a telegraph operator. He had passed the -middle age, but was hale and hearty. He appeared to be thoroughly -conversant with the country, and as the party numbered the unlucky -thirteen the operator was asked to join the adventurers, which he did. -It is said that his singing "The Old Oaken Bucket," which was rendered -in a most artistic manner, was one of the leading attractions that -enabled the telegraph operator to be offered a place with the party. - -It was some time in July, 1888, that a caravan composed of seven wagons -drawn by a dozen horses and a yoke of oxen made their departure from -Reno, Nev., bound south. No address was left with any of the merchants -who fitted out the party, and it appeared as if that were to be a -secret. There were two ladies in the party, properly dressed for the -occasion. The ox team was driven by a man of fifty-five or thereabouts, -who seemed to be the life of the caravan. He was continually cracking -jokes upon his comrades, and just before leaving, he with three other -good voices, sang, "The Old Oaken Bucket," which received a rousing -encoure. - -As the caravan paid cash for everything they obtained, the episode of -their coming and going passed out of the minds of most everyone -excepting the several persons that helped to outfit the party. - -The caravan went due south through Carson and Jack's Valley, where they -entered the sterile country once known on the maps as the "Great -American Desert." - -It was in June, 1907, that Eugene Burdick, mining engineer, civil -engineer and prospector, residing in Tuolumne County, Cal., received a -letter from Boston, which read as follows: - -"I am seeking information regarding a party that left Boston in May, -1888, bound for Southern Nevada and California. I am willing to pay -$5,000 for authentic information, which will enable me to establish -beyond any doubt the fate of these people. There were thirteen persons, -two women and eleven men. The leader of the party was John B. Lansing, -and it is of his fate that I desire to know, because a large estate is -in litigation. The last heard from Lansing, was from Reno, Nev., in -July, 1888." - -Burdick was well acquainted with all the country leading from Reno to -the south, and readily accepted the mission. His visit to Reno elicited -the facts related above, and taking up the clue Burdick began his -laborious task of finding the lost caravan. Carefully he followed them -across mountains and desert, through what looked like inaccessible -canyons, but not one item of intelligence could he learn of the missing -ones. - -It was on the evening of the seventh day after leaving Reno that Eugene -Burdick stopped for the night at the wickiup of Shoshone Joe on the -border of Death Valley. This Indian had lived in and around this -neighborhood with his wife Sally for more than twenty-five years, and -was a character well known to emigrants and prospectors. - -A present of a few trinkets to the Indian made him quite friendly. -Burdick enquired if they had ever seen a caravan of seven wagons passing -that way long ago. Shoshone Joe with many "ughs," "ughs," picked up -seven twigs, which he placed in the ground in a straight line a few -inches apart, and then taking a stick with one sweep knocked them all -down, dramatically exclaiming, "All gone." - -Burdick inferred from this that the Indian knew something which might -assist him in finding the lost ones. He gathered that the Indian had -seen the party, and had furnished them with fresh water prior to their -crossing the valley. A blinding sand-storm occurred a few hours later, -and the caravan lost its way, going south of the regular trail. Shoshone -Joe said, that once when he was down the valley he could see seven -little hills at a distance of ten miles, but Indian-like, he was afraid -of the "Debbil," and he had never investigated. - -This information interested Burdick very much, and by making a few more -presents he induced the Indian next morning to come with him and locate -the seven hills he had told about. - -Taking a two days' supply of water and a pick and shovel, Burdick with -his companion started across the valley in the direction indicated by -Shoshone Joe. The route was arduous, the sand being so deep and fine not -more than a mile and a half an hour could be traveled. - -Five miles of this wearisome journey had been traversed when Burdick -located, by means of his spyglass, the seven mounds described by the -Indian, at a distance of probably ten miles away to the south, and this -added fresh impetus to his efforts. - -Six hours later the twain arrived at the seven mounds. A vigorous blow -with the pick axe felled a mound to the earth, and two skeletons fell -out into the deep sand. The relics were those of a wagon which was ready -to crumble to pieces, the tires on the wheels being worn as fine as -ribbons. This wagon had been drawn by an ox team, the horns and bones of -which were half covered with the desert sand. - -Twenty feet further along was another similar mound. It took but a -little shake to bring the second wagon to the ground, and two more -skeletons were exposed to view. An object that proved to be a gold -watch and chain fell out into the sand, but was speedily found by the -watchful Burdick. He pried open the case of the watch, and on the -inside read the following inscription: "To John B. Lansing from his -wife, Dec. 25, 1886." - -"This is all the proof that I want," said Burdick, and bidding goodbye -to the gruesome spectacle he beat a hasty retreat. The Boston people -were satisfied with Burdick's story, and the evidence that he produced, -and he received the reward. - -The shifting, treacherous sands now completely cover the seven little -mounds, and all that is mortal of Aaron Burr Hilliker, telegraph -operator, philosopher, bohemian, gentleman. - -Illustration: End of Chapter 28. - - - - - WHEN GOLD GREW ON SAGE BRUSH. - - -He is a great banker and broker now, and directs the finances of a -little world of his own, but as he looks out from his luxurious office -on Broadway on the ever-busy throng on the streets, he grows -reminiscent, and, suddenly scratching his nose, breaks out into a great -laugh. - -"You noticed me just now scratching my nose, didn't you?" he said, and -he laughed again, "and you can't see anything to laugh about, but I -remember the time when it would have cost me my life if I had attempted -to do so. It is a strange story and well worth relating." - -The speaker was J. Frank Howell, the noted Broadway financier and his -companion a member of the House of Morgan. - -"It occurred in 1881, when I was out in Nevada, and working as a -telegraph operator at Beowawa, a little station on the Central Pacific -Railroad. I had acquired a complete knowledge of the Chinook language, -had become a fair student of Indian poker, could eat jack rabbits like -an Ogallala and considered myself quite a sport among the children of -the sage brush state. - -"A few weeks of this kind of existence fitted me for great and more -promising fields of usefulness, and when the gold excitement broke out -at Yankee Blade, 125 miles down the line, I bade goodbye to Johnson -Sides, Nastyshack Jim and other of my playmates, and started on the -stage for Yankee Blade in company with three other adventurous spirits. - -"I will never be able to explain how it happened, but it must have been -that the outlaw, Jim Slack, knew that I had drawn my month's salary and -that I was aboard the stage coach, for just as we were leaving Dogtown, -we were halted by a lone highwayman, who lost no time in ordering us to -throw up our hands, forming us into a line in the rear of the stage. -There we were, the four passengers and 'Stub,' the driver, all with arms -pointed skyward, while the merry Jim Slack rifled our pockets. - -"The bandit cracked jokes with us, saying he was sorry he had to do it, -but he needed the 'mon,' and he hoped that he wouldn't overlook any -small change we might still have left in our jeans. - -"At this moment my nose began to itch, but I knew it was sure death to -lower my hand to scratch it, and what was I to do, for I could hardly -stand it? I addressed the robber: 'I say, Mr. Highwayman, my nose itches -me pretty badly, won't you please allow me to lower my arm to scratch -it?'" I asked in a most plaintive manner. - -"'Never mind, I will do that little job for you myself,' was his reply, -and taking the point of his Colt's revolver he rubbed my nose very -briskly till I told him I had enough, and thanked him for his courtesy, -and the passengers and 'Stub,' the driver, laughed merrily. - -"I never knew, till I had it done with the business end of a revolver in -the hands of a stage robber, the exquisite delight of the privilege of -scratching one's own nose." - - +Finis+ - - - - - TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE. - - - INTRODUCTION. - -Welcome to Project Gutenberg's edition of Portland, Oregon, A. D. 1999 -and other sketches, a novel by Jeff W. Hayes. Hayes also released this -book under the title of Paradise on Earth. Aside from the title, the -cover and contents of both books are the same. - -This Project Gutenberg version. - -We based our production of Portland, Oregon, A. D. 1999 and other -sketches on the edition of the novel with that title, published in 1913, -by F. W. Baltes and Company. We used the scanned copy from the Bancroft -Library of the University of California available at the Internet -Archives as our source. - - - DETAILED NOTES. - -Instead of correcting (and changing) a lot of the narrative, we tried to -preserve as much of it as possible. The spelling of words such as -encoure, mein, employe, brusquesness, pleasureable, inadvertantly, and -aboriginies were retained. - -We did change familiar or occurrence because these words were used other -times in this book and spelled correctly those other times. All changes -are listed in the Emendations and Issues section of these notes. - -For the few words hyphenated and split between two lines for spacing in -this book, we silently rejoin words based on other uses of the word in -this novel. When this book had no template, outside sources were used. -The author's other books on the Internet Archive provided some -assistance. Google's Ngram viewer identified the most-common spelling -of the word for the era. Some of the harder decisions are listed in the -Hyphenated Words section. - -Other issues that have come up in transcribing the book are listed in -the Emendations and Issues section of these Detailed Notes. - -Emendations and Issues. - -On Page vi, Add question mark to the story Where Did You Get That Oil? -in the Contents to match the title of the story beginning on page 55. - -Missing or incorrect quotation marks at the beginning of Chapter 4, -Chapter 8, and Chapter 9 were corrected. - -Change A.D. to A. D.--Page viii, and the plain title page. - -On Page 2, change informaiton to information. - -On Page 10, change crominals to criminals. - -On Page 11, change occurrance to occurrence. - -On Page 23, change familier to familiar. - -On Page 25, change effected to affected. - -On Page 27, Remove unnecessary single quote before that in the clause -"'that the first class buildings. - -On Page 29, change nations to nation's. - -On Page 32, add period after More Denouements to make it like the rest of -the chapter titles in Part One. Added period after the chapter titles in -Part Two for practical reasons. - -On Page 33, Change Cmmissioner to Commissioner. - -On Page 45, add a period after him in good reports from him. - -On Page 49, Replace comma after Thee with a period in "Nearer My God to -Thee." - -On Page 53, remove right quote after never returned. - -On Page 56, change given to give. - -On Page 60, change report to reports. - -On Page 92, change filing to filling. - -On Page 96, change double quote to single quote after Kentucky Home. - -On Page 112, Add beginning left quote before I never knew. - -Hyphenated Words. - -Page 9 high-toned. - -Page 23 outskirts. - -Page 31 tombstones. Author used this spelling in Tales of the Sierras. - -Page 35 forbade. - -Page 87 half-way. Author used this spelling in Autographs and Memoirs -of the Telegraph. - -Page 101 horseman. Author used this spelling in Tales of the Sierras. - -Page 111 Nastyshack Jim, referring to the Modoc warrior Jim Shacknasty. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Portland, Oregon, A.D. 1999 and other -sketches, by Jeff W. Hayes - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PORTLAND, OREGON, A.D. 1999 *** - -***** This file should be named 62495.txt or 62495.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/2/4/9/62495/ - -Produced by MFR, Robert J. 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