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-The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Fashionable World Displayed, by John Owen
-
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions 
-whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at 
-www.gutenberg.org.  If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-
-Title: The Fashionable World Displayed
-
-
-Author: John Owen
-
-
-
-Release Date: May 26, 2020  [eBook #62238]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-
-***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FASHIONABLE WORLD DISPLAYED***
-
-
-Transcribed from the L. B. Seeley 1817 (eighth) edition by David Price,
-email ccx074@pglaf.org, using scans made available by the British
-Library.
-
-                          [Picture: Book cover]
-
-
-
-
-
-                                   THE
-                            Fashionable World
-                                DISPLAYED.
-
-
-                                * * * * *
-
-                                  BY THE
-                         _REV. JOHN OWEN_, _A.M._
-
-            LATE FELLOW OF CORPUS CHRISTI COLLEGE, CAMBRIDGE;
-                     AND RECTOR OF PAGLESHAM, ESSEX.
-
-                                * * * * *
-
-                             VELUTI IN SPECULUM.
-
-                                                              _THE STAGE_.
-
-                                * * * * *
-
-                             Eighth Edition.
-
-                                * * * * *
-
-                                 LONDON:
-                                 PRINTED
-                     FOR L. B. SEELEY, FLEET STREET.
-                                  1817.
-
-                                * * * * *
-
-                                    TO
-                            THE RIGHT REVEREND
-                           BEILBY PORTEUS, D.D.
-                         _LORD BISHOP OF LONDON_,
-                          NOT MORE DISTINGUISHED
-                                    BY
-                       HIS ELOQUENCE AS A PREACHER,
-                       HIS VIGILANCE AS A PRELATE,
-                       HIS SANCTITY AS A CHRISTIAN,
-                                   AND
-                       HIS VARIOUS ACCOMPLISHMENTS
-                                    AS
-                           A SCHOLAR AND A MAN,
-                                 THAN BY
-                       HIS INDEFATIGABLE EXERTIONS
-                          TO DETECT THE ERRORS,
-                           REBUKE THE FOLLIES,
-                                   AND
-                            REFORM THE VICES,
-                                  OF THE
-                            FASHIONABLE WORLD,
-                          THE FOLLOWING ATTEMPT
-                     TO BENEFIT THAT PART OF SOCIETY,
-                     BY MEANS TOO FREQUENTLY EMPLOYED
-                              TO CORRUPT IT,
-                                    IS
-                         RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED,
-                                    BY
-                         HIS LORDSHIP’S FAITHFUL
-                                   AND
-                             DUTIFUL SERVANT,
-
-                                                               THE AUTHOR.
-
-_Fulham_.
-
-
-
-
-ADVERTISEMENT
-TO THE
-_EIGHTH EDITION_.
-
-
-THE following little Work was originally published in the Spring of 1804,
-under the assumed name of Theophilus Christian, Esq.  From the high
-commendation bestowed on it by the late Bishop Porteus, the Author was
-induced to avow himself in the second impression, and to prefix a
-Dedication, in which he endeavoured to do some justice to the merits of
-that Prelate, whose character he united with the public in revering, and
-whose patronage and friendship he had the honour to enjoy.
-
-The Author is not insensible to the degree of improvement in the general
-tone of society, which has rendered certain strictures on the grosser
-qualities of a Fashionable character, somewhat less appropriate than they
-were at the period of their first publication.  He wishes, however, he
-could convince himself, that the improvement to which he alludes, and of
-which he desires to speak with becoming respect, were not to be
-interpreted as originating more in _humour_ than in _principle_, and as
-indicating rather the progress of refinement than the influence of
-virtue.  The peccant evil, he is sorry to observe, continues to exist;
-and, however the form of its operation may have been varied, its spirit
-remains the same.  On this account, it did not appear to the Author
-expedient to tamper with his text.  He felt persuaded that its
-application will be found sufficiently accurate for every practical
-purpose; and he could not consent to weaken its force by over-scrupulous
-concessions to the pleadings of candour, or the requirements of temporary
-accommodation.
-
-If an apology should be thought necessary for the little place which has
-been allowed for remarks of a purely religious description, that apology
-will be furnished by the nature and design of the Work.  To produce a
-disaffection to a life of sense, with all its blandishments, and under
-all its modifications, was the end which the Author proposed to himself;
-and his means were chosen with a reference to that end.  In whatever
-degree he may succeed in effecting it, he will think that he has gained
-no ordinary point; inasmuch as they who despair of happiness in the ways
-of sin, are so far prepared to embrace that godliness, which is
-“profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and
-of that which is to come.”
-
-_Fulham_, _February_ 28, 1817.
-
-
-
-
-INTRODUCTION.
-
-
-I HAVE often been surprised, that among the many descriptions which
-ingenious writers have given of places and people comparatively
-insignificant, no complete and systematic account has yet been written of
-the Fashionable World.  It is true, that our poets and caricaturists have
-honoured this people with a great share of their notice, and many
-particulars, not a little edifying, have been made known, through the
-medium of their admirable publications.  It is also true, that our
-prose-writers have occasionally cast a very pertinent glance over this
-fairy ground.  Some of these latter have even gone so far, as to write
-absolute treatises upon certain parts of the Fashionable character.  Mrs.
-More, for example, has delineated the religion, and Lord Chesterfield the
-morals, of this singular people with the greatest exactness and
-precision.  Nor would it be just to overlook the very acceptable labours
-of those writers who, in their Court-calendars and Court-almanacks, bring
-us acquainted, from time to time, with the modes of dress which prevail
-in the Fashionable World, and the names of its most distinguished
-inhabitants.  But after all that has been done, towards exhibiting the
-manners, and unfolding the character, of this splendid community, much
-remains to be done: for though certain details have been well enough
-handled, yet I repeat, that a complete and systematic account of the
-Fashionable World, is still a desideratum in Cosmography.
-
-I am far from pretending to either the ability or the design of supplying
-this deficiency.  The utmost that I propose to myself, is to bring more
-particulars into a group, than former writers have done; and to exhibit
-an outline, upon which others of more enlarged experience may improve.
-It seems to me of great importance to the interests of society, that its
-members should be known to each other: and of this I am persuaded, that
-if there be one description of people, the knowledge of whose genuine
-character would be more edifying to mankind than another, it is—the
-people of Fashion.
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS.
-
-
-                             CHAP. I.—PAGE 1.
-                 _Situation—Boundaries—Climate—Seasons_.
-
-                            CHAP. II.—PAGE 19.
-                         _Government—Laws_, _&c._
-
-                           CHAP. III.—PAGE 46.
-                         _Religion and Morality_.
-
-                            CHAP. IV.—PAGE 73.
-                               _Education_.
-
-                            CHAP. V.—PAGE 89.
-                           _Manners—Language_.
-
-                           CHAP. VI.—PAGE 108.
-                           _Dress—Amusements_.
-
-                           CHAP. VII.—PAGE 127.
-                   _Happiness of the People estimated_.
-
-                          CHAP. VIII.—PAGE 142.
-            _Defect of the System—Plans of Reform—Conclusion_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAP. I.
-
-
-SITUATION—BOUNDARIES—CLIMATE—SEASONS.
-
-THOUGH I do not undertake to write a geographical account of the
-Fashionable World, yet I should think myself highly culpable were I to
-pass over this interesting part of the subject wholly in silence.  My
-readers must be at the same time cautioned, not to form their
-expectations of the geography of Fashion from that of other countries.
-The fact is, that the whole community which sustains this appellation,
-extensive as it is, can scarcely be treated as having any peculiar or
-exclusive locality.  The individuals who compose it, are not, it is true,
-absolute wanderers, like the tribes of Arabia; nor yet are they regular
-settlers, like the convicts at Botany Bay: but moveable and migratory to
-a certain degree, and to a certain degree stationary and permanent, they
-live among the inhabitants of the parent country; neither absolutely
-mixing with them, nor yet actually separated from them.
-
-This paradoxical state of the people renders it not a little difficult to
-reduce their territory within the rules of geographical description.
-They have, it is true, their _degrees_ and their _circles_; but these
-terms are used by people of Fashion in a sense so different from that
-which geographers have assigned them, that they afford no sort of
-assistance to the topographical enquirer.  It is, I presume, on this
-account, that in all the improvements which have been made upon the
-globe, nothing has been done towards settling the meridian of Fashion;
-and though the Laplanders, the Hottentots, and the Esquimaux, have places
-assigned them, no more notice is taken of the people of Fashion, than if
-they either did not exist, or were not worthy of being mentioned.
-
-The only expedient, therefore, to which a writer can resort, in this
-dearth of geographical materials, is that of designating the territory of
-Fashion by the ordinary names of the several places through which it
-passes.  And this is, in fact, strictly conformable to that usage which
-prevails in the language and communication of the people themselves: for
-London, Tunbridge, Bath, Weymouth, &c. are, in their mouths, names for
-little else than the lands and societies of Fashion which they
-respectively contain.
-
-Now, the portion of each place to which Fashion lays claim, is neither
-definite as to its dimensions, nor fixed as to its locality.  In London,
-a small proportion of the whole is Fashionable; in Bath, the proportion
-is greater; and in some watering-places of the latest creation, Fashion
-puts in her demand for nearly the whole.  The locality of its domains is
-also contingent and mutable.  Various circumstances concur in
-determining, when a portion of ground shall become Fashionable, and when
-it shall cease to be such.  The only rule of any steadiness with which I
-am acquainted, and which chiefly relates to the metropolis, is that which
-prescribes a _western_ latitude: {5} if this be excepted, (which indeed
-admits of no relaxation,) events of very little moment decide all the
-rest.  If, for example, a Duchess, or the wife of some
-bourgeois-gentilhomme, who has purchased the privileges of the order,
-should open a suite of rooms for elegant society in any new quarter, the
-soil is considered to receive a sort of consecration by such a
-circumstance; and an indefinite portion of the vicinity is added to the
-territory of Fashion.  If, on the other hand, a shop be opened, a sign
-hung out, or any symptom of business be shewn, in a quarter that has
-hitherto been a stranger to every sound but the rattling of carriages,
-the thunder of knockers, and the vociferation of coachmen and servants,
-it is ten to one but the privileges of Fashion are withdrawn from that
-place; and the whole range of buildings is gradually given up to those,
-who are either needy enough to keep shops, or vulgar enough to endure
-them.  Now, it happens as a consequence from this adoption of new soil
-and disfranchisement of old, that the territory of Fashion is extremely
-irregular and interrupted.  A traveller, determined to pursue its
-windings, would soon be involved in a most mysterious labyrinth; his
-track would be crossed by portions of country which throw him repeatedly
-out of his beat: insomuch that his progress would resemble that of a
-naturalist, who, in tracing the course of a mineral through the bowels of
-the earth, encounters various breaks and intersections, and often finds
-the corresponding parts of the same stratum unaccountably separated from
-each other.
-
-It would be only fatiguing the reader to say more upon the topographical
-part of my subject.  It is obvious, from what has been stated, that the
-regions of Fashion, considered as a whole, are rather numerous than
-compact: and, indeed, such difference of opinion subsists among the
-people themselves upon the territories which are entitled to that name,
-that no correct judgment can be pronounced upon a question of so great
-controversy.  Thus much, however, may be affirmed, that there is scarcely
-a market-town in the kingdom, in which some portion of land is not
-invested with Fashionable privileges; and designated by such terms, as
-mark the wish of the inhabitants, to have it considered as forming part
-and parcel of the demesnes of Fashion.
-
-The _Climate_ of Fashion is almost entirely factitious and artificial;
-and consequently differs in many material respects from the natural
-temperature of those several places over which its jurisdiction extends.
-Though changes from heat to cold, and vice versa, are very common among
-these people, yet heat may be said to be the prevailing character of the
-climate.  They appear to me to have but two Seasons in the year; these
-they call, in conformity to ordinary language, rather than to just
-calculation, Winter and Summer.  Of Summer little is known: for it seems
-to be a rule among this people, to disband and disperse at the approach
-of it; and not to rally or re-unite, till the Winter has fairly
-commenced.  Though, therefore, they exist somehow or somewhere, {10}
-during the Summer months; they wish it to be considered, that they do not
-exist under their Fashionable character.  They wash themselves in the
-sea, drink laxative waters, lose a little money at billiards, or catch a
-few colds at public rooms; but all these things they do as individuals,
-and wholly out of their corporate capacity as members of the community of
-Fashion.  So that in their mode of disposing of the Summer, they invert
-the standing rule of most other animals; they choose the fair season for
-their torpid state, and shew no signs of life but during the Winter.  It
-is not easy to say exactly when the Winter _begins_ in the Fashionable
-World; an inhabitant of Bath would have one mode of reckoning, and an
-inhabitant of London another.  To do justice to the subject, the
-commencement of Winter ought to be regulated by the former of these
-places, and the close of it by the latter.  Supposing, therefore, that it
-begins some time in November, there can be no difficulty in settling its
-duration; for the 4th of June {12} is, by a tacit yet binding ordinance,
-considered as a limit, which a Fashionable Winter can seldom, if ever,
-exceed.
-
-There are many circumstances in which the Climate of Fashion stands
-peculiarly distinguished from every other.  It has already been intimated
-that heat is its prevailing characteristic: it is, moreover, not a little
-remarkable, that this heat is at its highest point in the Winter season;
-and that the inhabitants often perspire more freely when the snow is upon
-the ground, than they do in the dog-days.  The truth is, that, as was
-before said, the Climate is wholly created by artificial circumstances,
-and the natural temperature of the air is completely done away.  The sort
-of communication which these people keep up with each other, is
-considered to require a species of apparatus which fills their atmosphere
-with an immoderate degree of phlogiston.  Besides this, they are
-notoriously fond of assembling in insufferable crowds; and travellers
-have assured us, that they have often witnessed from ten to twelve
-hundred persons suffocating each other, within a space which would
-scarcely have afforded convenient accommodation for a dozen families.
-And this may enable us in some measure to account for the little benefit
-which modish invalids are said to derive from their frequent removals to
-the healthiest spots in the universe.  The original object of such a
-prescription was doubtless to change the air; and certainly no expedient
-could have been better imagined for bracing a constitution relaxed by too
-intense application to the business of a Fashionable life.  But the
-usages of the order render a change of air, to any salutary purpose,
-utterly impracticable: for the weakest members of the community consider
-themselves bound to kindle a flame wherever they go; and thus they
-breathe the same phlogisticated air all over the world.
-
-They profess to adopt the ordinary divisions of time; and they talk like
-other people of _Day_ and _Night_: but their mode of computing each is so
-vague and unnatural, that inhabitants of the same meridian with
-themselves scarcely understand what they mean by the terms.  A great part
-of this difficulty may possibly arise from the very small portion of
-solar light with which they are visited.  For certain it is, that no
-people upon earth have less benefit from the light of the sun than the
-people of Fashion; so that if it were not for torches, candles, and
-lamps, they would scarcely ever see each other’s faces.
-
-With regard to the constitutions of these people, I have been inclined to
-think them naturally robust, from observing the astonishing heat and
-fatigue which they are accustomed to endure.  And in this respect the
-women have appeared to evince an uncommon degree of hardiness: for,
-besides that they wear on every occasion a lighter species of clothing
-than the men, I have been confidently told that many among them will
-appear, in the severest part of the season, with dresses of such
-transparency and scantiness, as convince every beholder that they who
-wear them are utter strangers to the weaknesses of the sex.  There is,
-however, some room for doubting, whether the air which this people
-breathe, and the usages which prevail among them, are favorable to the
-constitution.  Their patience of fatigue has been thought to be wholly
-the result of habit, and their hardiness has been conjectured to be
-little more than an air of extravagance and bravado.  The frequent
-transitions which they make from heat to cold, and back again from cold
-to heat; perhaps half-a-dozen times in as many hours; must very
-materially diminish the physical strength of their bodies.  Certain it
-is, that their natural countenances do not betray the usual symptoms of
-health; and it is, I believe, admitted, that instances of extraordinary
-longevity are not very common among them.
-
-
-
-
-CHAP. II.
-
-
-GOVERNMENT—LAWS, &c.
-
-THE History of the Fashionable World is a sort of undertaking, which, to
-be accurately executed, would require abundantly more leisure and
-diligence than I could afford to bestow upon it: and I very much doubt,
-whether, after all, one reader out of a hundred would be at the pains of
-perusing it.  The fact is, that the members of this community are not
-sufficiently substantial to form historical pictures.  Their employments
-are not of a nature to make their memory an object with mankind.  Hence,
-though they make a splendid appearance in a ball-room, they appear to
-little advantage in a record; and, like the dancing figures in a
-magic-lantern, they seem to have answered the end of their being, when
-they have afforded an evening’s amusement.  For these and other reasons
-which might be assigned, I shall content myself with giving a brief
-account of their Polity and Laws; referring those of my readers who are
-desirous of further information upon their history, to Novels and
-Romances, and to such Chronicles of antiquity, as have preserved the
-memorials of obsolete and superannuated manners.
-
-It is a task of no ordinary difficulty to convey any tolerable idea of
-this people, in their aggregate or national capacity.  Consisting, as
-they do, of various and detached societies, they are yet considered to
-possess a sort of federal relation among each other; and to unite into an
-imaginary whole, under the collective denomination of the Fashionable
-World.  It is under this aggregate character that they take their rank in
-society; and the appellation which denotes their community, is recognised
-by the tradesmen who advertise for their custom, and the politicians who
-discourse of their affairs.  A very handsome proportion of the daily
-newspapers is devoted to their service; and intelligence from their
-drawing-rooms is reported with as much regularity as that which is
-derived from the first cabinets in Europe.  Indeed, the minuteness with
-which their routs and dances, their dresses and dainties, the expressions
-they utter, the company they keep, and the excesses they commit, are
-detailed, is at once an evidence that these people are considered to have
-a corporate existence; and that no little consequence is attached to
-their proceedings.  I wish, with all my heart, that they thought a little
-more of this; they would then scarcely run into such extravagancies, as
-make them, on too many occasions, objects of ridicule to one part of
-society, and dangerous examples to the other.
-
-Their _Population_ is more fluctuating and uncertain than that of any
-people upon the face of the earth.  There are among them certain tribes,
-or families, distinguished by different descendable titles, who are said
-to claim a sort of prescriptive right to the name of Fashionables.  In
-these the federal appellation continues hereditary; and it is an axiom
-among the body, that people of _Quality_ (for this is the term by which
-they designate the titled gentry) can never be out of Fashion.
-
-This is, it must be observed, their _own_ representation of the matter;
-and I am inclined to suspect that there is no little management at the
-bottom of it.  There is something, no doubt, very splendid in the idea of
-including all the families of rank within the limits of Fashion; and it
-is a mark of no contemptible policy, to have constructed an axiom which
-so effectually cuts off their retreat.  But surely, it would be but
-decent to allow the gentry of the realm to have a voice in the business.
-There _have been_ times, in which many of our Nobles would have thought
-themselves dishonoured by being presumed of course to sustain a
-Fashionable character.  I cannot but think, that if the modern nobility
-were fairly consulted, several of them would _still_ be found to
-entertain the same opinion; and that persons of the first distinction in
-the country would be among that number.
-
-However that be, these dignified families are, according to Fashionable
-computation, almost the only standing members of the community; and, if
-these be excepted, all the rest of their body is mutable in the extreme.
-
-There is a perpetual reciprocation of numbers between them and the
-society in which they reside.  Scarcely an hour passes without some
-interchange.  The gossip of every day announces that some have migrated
-from the region of Fashion, and that others have made their appearance
-within it for the first time.  The causes which produce these variations,
-and the reasons by which they are defended, are in some instances too
-mysterious, and in others too frivolous, to become subjects of recital.
-In general it may be affirmed, that though persons become Fashionable
-_with_ the concurrence of their will, they cease to be such _against_ it.
-For, if a few accidental converts to plain sense and sober piety be
-excepted, the greater part of those who retire have been superseded; and
-resign their places, only because they cannot any longer retain them.
-However that be, the fluctuation thus occasioned in the numbers and
-characters of those who compose this Fashionable Community, diversifies
-its complexion daily; and renders a precise account of its population and
-totality utterly impossible.
-
-The form of government subsisting among this people, so far as it can be
-traced out, is Oligarchical, and the spirit of it is absolute and
-despotical.  The few in whose hands the supreme authority resides, do not
-consist of any regular or definite number, nor are they confined to any
-particular sex.  In general, they are composed of persons out of both
-sexes, who, while they exercise a separate influence in things relating
-to the sexes respectively, possess also a common jurisdiction in matters
-of universal concern.
-
-The governing few are not invested with their authority by any
-formalities of law; nor do they obtain their station by any specific
-qualifications.  The magistracy which they hold, appears to be neither
-hereditary nor elective, but contingent.  The term of their continuance
-in power is also as indefinite and capricious, as the right by which they
-acquire it.  One thing, however, is certain, that as a moral reputation
-has no influence in recommending them to the stations they fill, so the
-forfeiture of it in no degree weakens the stability, or abridges the
-duration of their power.  That a government of this independent
-description should exist in the heart of the British empire, an _imperium
-in imperio_, will appear scarcely credible to my reader.  He may,
-however, rely upon it, that the fact is as I have stated it; and if he
-should express his wonder, that such contempt of the sovereign authority
-as it eventually leads to, has not been properly resisted, he will only
-do what thousands have done before him.
-
-But to return:—The laws by which the government of Fashion is
-administered, like the common law of England, are unwritten; and derive
-their force, as that does, from usage and prescription.  The only code of
-any note among this people, is that which they distinguish by the
-collective appellation of the LAW of HONOUR.  This extraordinary code has
-been defined to be—“a system of rules constructed by people of Fashion,
-and calculated to facilitate their intercourse with one another.” {29}
-Now if this definition be a just one, (and I presume it is, from the high
-authority by which it is given,) it will afford us no indifferent help,
-towards unfolding the mysteries of Fashionable jurisprudence.
-
-It seems, then, that the _Law of Honour_, by which people of Fashion are
-said to be governed, is wholly and exclusively designed to make them
-acceptable to each other.  Now, not to mention other things, persons in a
-Fashionable sphere cannot be strictly agreeable to each other, unless
-they are well dressed; nor can that intercourse which they chiefly value,
-be pleasantly maintained, without splendid equipages, choice wines, and
-sumptuous entertainments.  As, therefore, the necessity of the case
-requires such accommodations, the _Law of Honour_, to say the least, does
-not look very nicely into the means by which they may have been procured.
-Hence it follows, by the fairest inference, that a man of Fashion is not
-at all the less respectable in his own circle, merely because he is what
-the rest of the world calls unjust.  For, whatever may be the law
-elsewhere, a man of Fashion can owe nothing to his inferiors: and his
-character will therefore suffer no stain, though he should have broken
-his word a thousand times with the reptile that made his clothes, built
-his carriage, or furnished his table.
-
-This law is also distinguished by many other features of toleration,
-which well account for the respect and influence that it possesses in the
-Fashionable World.  By a spirit of accommodation, of which there is no
-other example, it overlooks, if it does not even encourage, a variety of
-actions, which in the mouth of a moralist would be absolute vices; and
-which, to say the truth, are scarcely deserving of a much better name.
-Thus, a man may debauch his tenant’s daughter, seduce the wife of his
-friend, and be faithless, and even brutal to his own, and yet be esteemed
-a man of honour, (which is the same as a man of Fashion,) and have a
-right to make any man fight him who says he is not.  In like manner, a
-man may blaspheme God, and encourage his children and servants to do the
-same; he may neglect the interests, and squander the property, of his
-family; he may be a tyrant in his house, and a bully in the streets; he
-may lie a-bed all day, and drink and game all night; and yet be a most
-dutiful subject of the _Law of Honour_, and a shining character in the
-society of Fashion.
-
-There is, I own, much convenience in all this, and some consistency.
-Persons who live only for this world, should have a proportionable
-latitude allowed them for the employment of their animal propensities;
-and the law which provides for the regulation of their conduct, should
-have a special reference to this consideration.  Supposing, therefore,
-that people of Fashion ought to exist, they must have such a law as that
-which they possess.  So that, taking the Law of Honour in this connexion,
-I cannot but think it a master-piece of political contrivance.
-
-At the same time, I cannot agree with those who have been led to consider
-this table of Fashionable jurisprudence as deserving a place in the
-temple of Morality.  Into this error a celebrated writer appears to have
-fallen, in his Treatise of Moral Philosophy.  For, having defined
-morality to be “that science which teaches men their duty, and the
-reasons of it,” he proceeds to cite the _Law of Honour_ as one of the
-three rules by which men are governed.  That respectable writer has,
-indeed, admitted that this law is _defective_, because it does not
-provide for the duties to God and to inferiors; he has also proclaimed
-that it is _bad_, by stating, that it allows of fornication, adultery,
-drunkenness, prodigality, duelling, &c.  Still, however, he has rather
-left us to infer, that it ought wholly to be rejected, than absolutely
-told us so.  By classing it with the law of the land and the Scriptures,
-he has (undesignedly no doubt) prevented its utter condemnation; and
-afforded ground for considering it as a moral rule, to which men owe a
-qualified obedience.
-
-Having specified the sort of practices which the _Law of Honour_ allows,
-I shall take some brief notice of the duties which it exacts.  The
-principal of these, and that upon which its tone and spirit are most
-peremptory, is the _resentment of injuries_.  Now it must be observed,
-that the term _injury_, in the use of people of Fashion, is of a very
-wide and comprehensive signification.  It not only means such an act of
-outrage as amounts to a manifest and palpable wrong, but extends to every
-dubious point of conduct, from which a Fashionable sophist could find
-scope to infer an injurious intention.  Thus a sister seduced, and then
-abandoned, and a word or a look not satisfactorily explained, are all
-equally injuries; and constitute, in the spirit of this code, so many
-obligations to the most lively and implacable resentment.  It may be,
-that the offended person is of a peaceable disposition, and would rather
-endure a moderate injury than revenge it; or he may have too much respect
-for the laws of the parent state, to require or accept redress in any
-other than the legal way; or he may know, that the offending party is a
-man disposed to seek a quarrel, and that he desires nothing so much as to
-provoke the innocent person, whom he has purposely insulted, to claim
-satisfaction; or, lastly, it may be, that the supposed injury is founded
-wholly on mistake, and that the reputed aggressor will not believe or own
-himself to have offended, and will therefore make no atonement.  In all
-these cases, personal resentment might as well be waved; but this the Law
-of Honour positively forbids: and he who should conscientiously decline
-to pursue a personal quarrel, upon these, or even higher motives, might
-be a better father, a better husband, a better subject, and a better
-Christian, for so doing; but he would certainly be a worse man of honour.
-
-It is worthy of remark, that these reputed injuries are sometimes so
-minute and transitory, or so remote and obscure, that, if every thing
-depended upon the aggressor and the aggrieved, they would either remain
-wholly undiscovered, or, at least, be speedily forgotten.  But each of
-these consequences is not unfrequently defeated by the officious industry
-of some kind-hearted being, who, though he loves his friend too well to
-let him be insulted, can govern his feelings well enough to stand by and
-see him murdered.  This is, certainly, a refinement upon the theory of
-friendship, which may be fairly set down among the most extraordinary
-achievements of the _Law of Honour_.  Indeed, this bloody code has many
-such refinements.  For, proceeding, as it does, upon principles of its
-own invention, it must necessarily clash with many antecedent
-obligations.  These, however, it contrives, by the help of a little
-sophistry, so to supersede, that neither affinity nor attachment may
-impede the progress of honourable revenge: and hence we see, in
-compliance with its rigid edicts, the warmest friends sacrifice to
-resentment with as little reserve as the bitterest enemies; and that,
-perhaps, to settle a tavern dispute, or to avenge a play-house quarrel!
-
-Having said so much of the principal duty enjoined by the Law of Honour,
-I shall offer a few observations upon the sort of punishment which it
-inflicts.  I trust I shall be excused, if, in treating this part of my
-subject, I employ the term _punishment_ in a sense not strictly similar
-to that in which it is ordinarily used.  The fact is, that this singular
-law makes the parties both judges in their own cause, and executioners of
-their own sentence.  The universal award against every convicted offender
-is, that he shall fight a duel with the offended party.  So that, if that
-may be set down as punishment, which is ultimate in a controversy, and
-which is exacted as a satisfaction to the law; death, or exposure to it,
-is the lowest punishment which honour inflicts upon the least offender;
-and the highest which it enforces upon the greatest.
-
-And this is, I confess, a political incongruity, which I have not a
-little difficulty in reconciling with the good sense of many who have
-undertaken to defend it.  The law of England has often been blamed (and I
-think with justice) as unreasonably sanguinary.  In answer to this charge
-it has been said, that, though nearly two hundred offences of almost as
-many degrees of guilt, are made equally punishable with death; yet
-justice is administered with so much discretion and mercy, that the
-penalty is inflicted only on a few.  Feeble as this excuse is, for a law
-that deals in blood, it would be well for the law of Honour if it
-admitted of such a palliation.  But the truth is, that in the latter case
-there is nothing to abate the demand for blood—the prosecution of every
-difference is both summary and vindictive: there is no tribunal to
-enquire into the original matter of the quarrel; no judicature to
-determine the real merits of the controversy: if the judgment be
-erroneous, there is no court of equity to reverse the verdict; if
-rigorous, there is no arm of mercy to withdraw the victim from suffering.
-
-It must be evident from this view which has been presented of the law,
-that, as an injury may be created by the most trivial incident, so
-punishment may be inflicted with the most preposterous and unequal
-retribution.  I cannot better illustrate the frivolous foundation upon
-which an injury may be erected, than by adverting to an occurrence of
-very recent date, and of sufficient notoriety in the Fashionable World.
-Two men of Fashion, incensed against each other by an accidental quarrel
-between their respective dogs, dropped, in their warmth, certain
-expressions which rendered them amenable to the bloody code: duel was
-declared indispensable: and in less than twelve hours, one of the two was
-dispatched into eternity, and the other narrowly escaped the same fate.
-{42}
-
-The inequality of the retribution is, indeed, an inevitable consequence
-of that article of the code which compels men of Fashion, without
-distinction, to decide their differences by fighting a duel.  It results
-from this promiscuous injunction, that the peaceable man must fight the
-quarrelsome; that the heir of a noble family must meet the ruined
-esquire; and that the man who has never drawn a trigger in his life, must
-encounter the Fashionable ruffian, who has all his life been doing little
-else.  This inequality is further manifest, from the different
-circumstances and connexions of life under which the combatants may be
-found.  The son of many hopes may be matched against the worthless
-prodigal; the virtuous parent against the unprincipled seducer; and the
-man of industry, usefulness, and beneficence, against the miscreant who
-only lives to pamper his lusts, and to corrupt his fellow-creatures.
-Nothing has here been said of the indiscriminate manner in which judgment
-is executed.  The innocent and the guilty must both be involved in the
-same awful contingency; each must put his life to hazard: and the
-probability is, that, if one of the two should fall, it will be the man
-whose conduct least entitled him to punishment, and whose life was most
-worth preserving.
-
-I forbear to enter further into the system of Fashionable government, or
-to meddle with the inferior points of legislation.  What has been said of
-the Law of Honour, will apply, with little variation, to every other
-institution of minor concern.  To facilitate polite intercourse, and to
-exclude, as much as may be, duties to God and inferiors, is a
-considerable object in every regulation; and it is but justice to this
-people to say, that, in this respect, they are at once consistent and
-successful.
-
-
-
-
-CHAP. III.
-
-
-RELIGION AND MORALITY.
-
-IN attempting to give an account of the _Religion_ of the people of
-Fashion, I feel myself not a little embarrassed.  It were, indeed, very
-much to be wished, that one of their own number would, in the name of the
-rest, draw up a confession of their faith.  This is, perhaps, expecting
-too much; and yet I cannot but think that it would be a very good
-employment for some of those modish priests, who pass so much of their
-time in the circles of Fashion.  They give every proof that they have
-leisure for the undertaking: and the access which they have to these
-people, by attending them so familiarly at their theatres, their operas,
-and their routs, must render them perfectly masters of the subject.
-However, as I am not aware that any thing of this nature is yet taken in
-hand, I shall lay before my reader such observations as I have been able
-to make; partly because it seems necessary to the perfection of my work,
-that something should be said on the subject, and partly because I should
-be unwilling to afford by my silence any ground for suspicion—that there
-is _no_ religion in the Fashionable World.
-
-I am, then, in the first place, decidedly of opinion, that people of
-Fashion are not _Atheists_; though I am sufficiently aware, that some
-strict religionists have entertained an opposite conviction.  It has been
-contended by the latter, in support of their hypothesis, that people who
-believed in a God would have some scruple about taking such liberties
-with his name, and his attributes, and his threatenings, and, generally,
-with all his moral prerogatives, as people of Fashion are accustomed to
-do.  There is certainly something plausible in this sort of reasoning,
-and I must candidly confess, that I have never yet seen it fairly
-overthrown; but then I cannot think, that it proves their disbelief of a
-God, though it certainly does prove their want of reverence for him.  It
-seems to me, at the same time, probable, that the ideas of this people,
-and those of stricter Christians, upon the subject of that reverence
-which is due to the Deity, may differ sufficiently, to account for these
-offensive liberties, without having recourse to the hypothesis of
-atheism.  Indeed, when I consider the spirit and construction of that law
-by which these people are bound, I can find other reasons for their
-conduct in this respect, besides that which these theorists have
-assigned.  For, to say the truth, those obnoxious expressions from which
-so much has been inferred, are in perfect unison with the exclusion of a
-Deity from the rules which regulate their intercourse with each other.
-The more therefore I reflect on this subject, the more I am confirmed in
-my opinion, that the charge of Atheism against them is without any just
-foundation; and that their appeals to God in levity, earnestness, and
-anger, are designed to shew their contempt of His authority, and not
-their denial of his being.
-
-I was for a long time of opinion, that these people were believers in
-_Christ_; for I had observed, that his name was found in their
-formularies of devotion, associated with their baptismal designation, and
-frequently appealed to in their conversation with each other.  There
-were, I confess, many things at the time which staggered me.  Having
-taken up my ideas of the Saviour from those Scriptures which they profess
-to receive as well as myself, I was not a little astonished at the
-ultimate difference between us.  Their belief of a God was, I knew,
-inevitable, and forced upon them by every thing in nature and experience;
-I could therefore conceive, without much difficulty, how they could
-subscribe to his being, and yet not hallow his name; but I could not with
-equal facility conceive, that people should go out of their way to
-embrace a solemn article of revealed religion, only that they might have
-an opportunity of trifling with the holy name of Him, who was the author
-and the object of that revelation.
-
-I had, besides, occasion to remark, that this name was seldom appealed
-to, but by the ladies; and it did not appear in the first instance
-probable, that the gentlemen would leave them in exclusive possession of
-a mode of imprecation by which any thing was meant.  These and other
-circumstances excited in my mind a great deal of speculation.  I will
-not, however, trouble my readers with the many conclusions which I drew
-from them; since an event has occurred, which affords no indifferent
-evidence, that belief in a Saviour does _not_ form an article of
-Fashionable religion.  The event to which I refer, is the publication of
-a Memoir of the late Lord Camelford.  In this Memoir the author professes
-to acquaint the world with the last moments of a Fashionable young man
-who had received a mortal wound in an affair of honour.  In perusing this
-extraordinary narrative, I was much surprised at finding, that neither
-the dying penitent (for such he is represented to have been) nor his
-spiritual confessor ever once mentioned the name of _Christ_.  But when,
-on further attention, I found his Lordship expressing a hope, that his
-_own_ dying sufferings would expiate his sins, and placing his dependance
-upon the mercy of his _Creator_; {53} I had only to conclude, that the
-Divine was deterred from mentioning a name with which his office must
-have made him familiar, out of respect for that Fashionable creed from
-which it is excluded.
-
-There is some reason for supposing that these people believe in the
-immortality of the soul, the existence of an evil spirit, and a place of
-future torment.  It must, at the same time, be acknowledged, that their
-ideas on each of these points are so loose and confused, that it is
-difficult to determine in what sense they apprehend them.
-
-In subscribing, for example, to the immortality of the soul, they give it
-a value which infinitely exceeds that of the corruptible body: the
-inference from this, in a fair train of reasoning, would be, that the
-care of the former is of infinitely more importance than that of the
-latter.  And yet this is manifestly not the inference they draw: for the
-experience of every week proves, that if they give three hours to the
-soul, they think it too much; while they will give six days and nights to
-the body, and think it too little.  This is, I confess, a part of their
-character, of which no satisfactory explanation has ever been given.
-
-I have no other evidence of their belief in an evil Spirit, and a place
-of future Torment, than the report of their Prayer-books, and the tenor
-of their conversation.  I must, at the same time, acknowledge, that the
-looseness and frequency with which they refer to Hell and the Devil, on
-the most ordinary occasions, have excited my doubts whether they use
-these awful terms in the same religious sense in which orthodox
-Christians are accustomed to employ them.  These doubts have been greatly
-encouraged by that sceptical facetiousness with which they apply the name
-of the evil spirit to their Fashionable amusements, and make the place of
-torment a subject of scenic representation.  I will not say that these
-people do not believe what they thus caricature; but I think it must be
-obvious that they cannot have any very exact notions of their scriptural
-import, while they continue to employ them as terms of merriment, and
-sources of diversion. {57}
-
-Religious worship, though not inculcated as absolutely necessary in the
-Fashionable World, is yet neither prohibited nor renounced.  Certain
-persons of considerable influence among them, and whose connexion with
-them arose out of the incidental circumstances of birth, or office, or
-elevation, have carried into the societies of Fashion some principles
-which operate as a check upon the natural libertinism of the community.
-I impute it to this circumstance, rather than to any sober consideration
-of duty, that religious worship, though it is not esteemed _essential_ to
-a Fashionable character, is yet not regarded as any impeachment of it.
-My reason, in a word, for ascribing their conformity in this particular
-to influence rather than principle, is the difficulty of reconciling it,
-on any hypothesis besides, to the other parts of their conduct.  For it
-would be a contradiction of ideas to suppose, that persons can seriously
-mean to worship a God whom they habitually blaspheme; or to pray against
-a devil, whom they are accustomed to hold out as a bugbear or a joke.
-
-Their mode of worship is generally that which prevails in the country in
-which they live: they like the credit of an Establishment, and the
-convenience of taking things as they find them.  There are, I am told,
-some members of Fashion among those who dissent from the established
-religion.  These I shall leave to the care of their Pastors; and proceed
-to animadvert upon the Fashionable adherents to the religion of the
-State.
-
-In their manner of observing the rites of public worship, nothing is so
-remarkable as the degree of refinement they contrive to introduce into
-every part of it which is capable of being refined upon.  Chapels are,
-for the most part, preferred to Churches; and the reason, among others,
-for this preference, appears to be, that the modernness of their
-structure, and their exemption from parochial controul, render them
-better adapted to such elegant improvements as are requisite for
-Fashionable piety.  Hence that variety of ingenious accommodations, and
-fanciful ornaments, which gives to their favourite place of devotion the
-air of a drawing-room: so that a stranger, introduced to their religious
-assemblies, might be excused for doubting, whether he was about to
-worship the Deity, or to pay a Fashionable visit.  The conduct of their
-service is, in many cases, marked by an attention to mechanical effect,
-which is more nearly allied to the parade of the theatre, than to the
-simplicity of the church.  The orators who fill their pulpits, are
-generally preferred in proportion as they display the captivating
-attractions of a graceful exterior, and a liberal theology.  These
-preachers have, indeed, a task to execute of no ordinary difficulty.  By
-the tyranny of custom they are compelled to take their text, and to
-produce their authorities, from the canon of Scripture; and I think it is
-much to the praise of their dexterity, that so often as they have
-occasion to discourse from those offensive writings, they yet contrive to
-give so little offence.  How they manage this, I am at a loss to know;
-unless it be by blinking every question that involves a moral
-application; or else by allowing their audience the benefit of that
-Fashionable salvo, that the company present is always excepted.
-
-It has also been remarked by scrupulous observers, that this people
-perform almost the whole of their public devotions in a posture which
-rather accommodates their indolence, than expresses their respect for the
-object of their worship.  If this be the fact, it is not a little
-extraordinary; since they use a liturgy which prescribes _kneeling_ and
-_standing_, as well as _sitting_; and which contains distinct
-instructions, when each is to be used.  I can, indeed, account, without
-much difficulty, for the disuse of _kneeling_; because the structure of
-the pews does not always admit of it: besides that, it is a posture into
-which people cannot be expected readily to fall in public, who have not
-much practice in private.  But I cannot so easily account for their
-refusing to _stand_: for this is notoriously an attitude to which they
-are sufficiently accustomed.  And that they do not consider the posture
-in which a thing is done, indifferent, is manifest from the zeal with
-which they rise from their seats, and expect others to do the same, when
-about to join in a loyal chorus.  I wonder it has not occurred to them,
-that there is some indecency, not to say impiety, in _rising_ from their
-seats to sing the praises of their King, and _keeping_ them while they
-sing the praises of their GOD.
-
-I have before delivered it as my opinion, that this people comply with
-the custom of public worship, rather from influence than from conviction;
-and this opinion receives some confirmation from the pains they take to
-remove those impressions which the offices of religion may have made upon
-their minds.  In the metropolis, the visit to the house of God is
-succeeded, as soon as may be, by the drive into the Park.  Here they meet
-with a prodigious concourse of persons of their own description; and have
-the most charming opportunities of seeing the world, exhibiting
-themselves, and conversing upon the opera of the preceding evening, or
-the parties for the ensuing week.  The effect of this drive, upon their
-animal spirits and the whole frame of their mind, is just what might have
-been expected.  Though they have so recently assisted at the most awful
-solemnities, they can now relax into the most idle levity or the most
-boisterous mirth; and satisfying themselves that they have done their
-duty, by remembering the Almighty in the first part of the day, they take
-no common pains to forget him during the remainder.
-
-In the vicinity of the metropolis, and in other places of Fashionable
-residence, other expedients are resorted to, in order to produce the same
-happy effect.  No sooner has the priest pronounced his _Morning_
-benediction, than the carriage which has conveyed the family to church
-must be driven round the neighbourhood; and the bells and knockers of
-twenty doors announce, that the restraints of public worship are at an
-end.  This pleasant divertisement is not lost upon the great body of the
-inhabitants.  Persons the farthest removed from all Fashionable
-pretensions, rejoice with their superiors at this speedy termination of
-the Sabbath; and, with a servile imitation of _their_ example, pursue
-their pleasures in some house of entertainment, instead of seeking a
-_second_ blessing in the house of God. {66}
-
-Though there is something very lively and ingenious in this method of
-dissipating religious impressions, yet I think it might be an improvement
-upon the plan, not to allow them to be made at all.  Experiments to this
-effect have been actually tried by some persons of no mean condition, in
-the Fashionable World, who have wholly renounced the habit of public
-worship; and these experiments would probably have been tried upon a much
-larger scale, had it not been for the consideration of setting a
-pernicious example: for it seems to be a maxim among many of them, that
-persons in a dependent state _may_ really be benefited by the offices of
-devotion.  With a charity, therefore, that does them honour, they make a
-sacrifice of their feelings and their time to the interests of their
-inferiors; and when it is considered, how much whirling in a carriage,
-gaping, gadding, and gossiping, it takes them, to recover the true tone
-of dissipation, it will be seen that the sacrifice is not inconsiderable.
-
-In observing thus largely upon the religion of the Fashionable World, I
-have furnished a sufficient clue to their _moral_ character.  If, from
-some hints which have been thrown out in this and the preceding chapter,
-rigid Christians should be led to infer, that it is no better than it
-should be, they must be reminded, that people of Fashion have a standard
-peculiar to themselves; and that, therefore, what are deviations from
-_our_ standard, are very often near approximations to _theirs_.  In fact,
-they have acted in this respect with the same convenient policy by which
-they have been guided in framing every other part of their system.
-Pleasure being the object upon which a life of Fashion terminates, it was
-sagaciously enough foreseen, that an unbending morality would be utterly
-incompatible with the modes, and habits, and plans, of such a career.
-There remained therefore no alternative, but that of frittering away the
-strength and substance of the morality of the Gospel, till it became
-sufficiently tame and pliable for the sphere of accommodation in which it
-was to act.  The consequence has been, that while they employ the same
-terms to denote their moral ideas, as are in use among Christians in
-general, yet they limit, or enlarge, their signification, as expediency
-requires.  Thus modesty, honesty, humanity, and sobriety—names, with
-stricter moralists, for the purest virtues—are so modified and
-liberalized by Fashionable casuists, as to be capable of an alliance with
-a low degree of every vice to which they stand opposed.  A woman may
-expose her bosom, paint her face, assume a forward air, gaze without
-emotion, and laugh without restraint, at the loosest scenes of theatrical
-licentiousness; and yet be, after all,—a _modest_ woman.  A man may
-detain the money which he owes his tradesman, and contract new debts for
-ostentatious superfluities, while he has neither the means nor the
-inclination to pay his old ones; and yet be, after all,—a very _honest_
-fellow.  A woman of Fashion may disturb the repose of her family every
-night, abandon her children to mercenary nurses, and keep her horses and
-her servants in the streets till day-break,—without any impeachment of
-her _humanity_.  So the gentleman of Fashion may swallow his two or three
-bottles a-day, and do all his friends the kindness to lay them under the
-table as often as they dine with him; yet, if constitution or habit
-secure him against the same ignominious effects, he claims to be
-considered—a _sober_ man.
-
-There would be no end of going over all the eccentricities of Fashionable
-morality.  To those who exact that truth which allows of no duplicity,
-that honour which scorns all baseness, and that virtue which wars with
-every vice, I question but every thing in the morals of this people would
-appear anomalous and extraordinary: but to those who consider, how
-necessary a certain portion of wickedness is to such a life of sense as
-these people must necessarily lead, it will not be matter of surprise
-that there should be so little genuine morality among them; the wonder
-will rather be—that there should be any at all.
-
-
-
-
-CHAP. IV
-
-
-EDUCATION.
-
-NO people in the universe expend larger sums upon the education of their
-children than people of Fashion.  It is a maxim with them to commence the
-great business of instruction in the very earliest period of life; and if
-the system of education corresponded with the pains bestowed upon it, and
-the price at which it is purchased, no persons would do more honour to
-society than the subjects of the Fashionable World.  As it is, they are
-not a little ornamental to a nation.  They are not, it is true, either
-the columns or the base of the building; they neither support nor
-strengthen it: but they supply the place of reliefs, and hangings, and
-other superadded decorations.
-
-Religion is allowed a respectable place among the studies of the nursery.
-All those useful tables of instruction are assiduously employed, which
-teach, who was the _first_, the _wisest_, the _meekest_, and the
-_strongest_ man; and the nursling is carefully conducted, by a
-catechetical process, into the theory and practice of a Christian.  As,
-however, the child advances to boyish or girlish years, this religious
-discipline is pretty generally relaxed, in order to allow sufficient
-scope for the cultivation of those modish pursuits, which mark the man
-and the woman of Fashion.
-
-And here I cannot help remarking, how anxious the greater part of
-Fashionable parents are, to guard the minds of their children against the
-_permanent_ influence of that religion, which they yet have caused them
-to be taught.  The fact is, that they would have them acquainted with the
-technical language, and expert in the liturgical formalities of
-Christianity; for these acquirements can neither disparage their
-character, nor impede their pleasures: but a serious impression of its
-truths upon their hearts, might disaffect them to the follies and vices
-which they are destined to practise; and therefore is the thing, of all
-others, that is most to be dreaded.  The parents are, to say the truth,
-not a little hampered by the engagements under which they have bound the
-child, on the one part; and the character which they wish him to sustain,
-on the other.  To leave him in ignorance of a covenant in which he has
-been involuntarily included, would be a fraud upon his conscience; and
-yet, to have him renounce the devil, the world, and the flesh, would be
-the utter ruin of his Fashionable reputation.  What other course, then,
-can parents thus circumstanced pursue, than that of inculcating these
-lessons before they can be understood, and removing their impression
-before they can be practised?
-
-It is, I presume, upon the principle of precaution already mentioned,
-that our Fashionable young men are not always intrusted to the care of
-persons distinguished for the practice of piety.  It is not impossible,
-indeed, that, either from the conversation, the connexions, or the
-example of the preceptor, the pupil may contract certain habits, which it
-was not the precise object of his education to produce.  But then the
-evil is not so great as fastidious moralists would insinuate.  For, as
-the youth is to figure in the circles of Fashion, he will only have
-learnt, a little before the time, those practices which are to form a
-part of his manly character: and though it might, perhaps, be as well, if
-he did not learn to swear and rake quite so soon; yet it is some
-consolation, that he has escaped those methodistical impressions, which
-would have prevented him from swearing and raking as long as he lived.
-
-It may also be considered as some confirmation of the reasoning above
-employed, that parents introduce their children as early as possible to
-the amusements of the theatre.  Now, though swearing, and raking, and
-gaming, when carried to excess, are blamed even by persons of Fashion
-themselves; yet it is notorious, that a reasonable proportion of each is
-indispensably requisite to a popular character in the circles of
-refinement.  Habits of this sort must not be precipitately taken up.
-There must be a schooling for the man of pleasure, as well as for the man
-of letters: and certainly no school exists, in which the elements of
-modish vice can be studied with greater promise of proficiency, than the
-public theatres.  When it is considered, at what pains the managers of
-the stage are, to import the seducing dramas of Germany, as well as to
-get up the loose productions of the English Muse; when it is further
-considered, how studious the actors and actresses are to do justice, and
-even more than justice, to the luscious scenes of the piece; to give
-effect to the equivoques, by an arch emphasis; and to the oaths, by a
-dauntless intonation:—when to all this is added, how many painted
-strumpets are stuck about the theatre, in the boxes, the galleries, and
-the avenues; and how many challenges to prostitution are thrown out in
-every direction: it will, I think, be difficult to imagine places better
-adapted, than the theatres at this moment are, to teach the theory and
-practice of Fashionable iniquity.
-
-What has been observed on the subject of education, though said
-principally with reference to the male branches of Fashionable families,
-will yet, with a few changes, be found applicable to the youth of the
-other sex.  The principal points upon which their scheme of education is
-brought to bear, are those of dissipation and display.  A brilliant
-finger on the piano, wanton flexions in the dance, a rage for operas,
-plays, and parties, and the faculty of undergoing the fatiguing
-evolutions of a Fashionable life, without compunction of conscience,
-sense of weariness, or indications of disgust, are qualifications which
-she who has acquired, will be considered as wanting little of a perfect
-education.
-
-The same assiduity is discovered on the part of the parents, to train
-their girls for the sphere of polite life, as has been already observed
-with respect to the boys; and the methods that are pursued to accomplish
-this end, are very nearly the same.  The blush of virgin-modesty (it is
-naturally foreseen) would be extremely inconvenient, not to say
-absolutely indecorous, in a woman of Fashion; and therefore it is wisely
-resolved, that such steps shall be taken upon the girl’s growing into
-life, as may most effectually destroy it.  The theatre seems principally
-to be resorted to for this purpose; and it must be manifest, from what
-has been already advanced, that no expedient could have been better
-chosen.  As intrigue is the life of the drama, and this cannot be carried
-on, without expressions, attitudes, and communications between the sexes,
-of a very particular nature, there is every reason for regarding the
-stage as a sovereign remedy for the infirmity of _blushing_.
-
-There are other things to be said on behalf of the theatre, as a school
-of polite morality.
-
-It has already appeared, that the system of Ethics which prevails among
-people of Fashion, differs materially from the received system of
-unfashionable Christians.  Now, I know not any means by which a stranger,
-anxious to ascertain, wherein that difference consists, could better
-satisfy his enquiries, than by visiting the theatres.  The doctrine of
-the stage, therefore, exhibiting (as nearly as possible) the standard
-morality of polite society, nothing could be better imagined, than to
-give the embryo woman of Fashion the earliest opportunity of learning to
-so much advantage, those lessons which she is afterwards to practise
-through life.  What she has imbibed in the nursery, and what she hears in
-the church, would inspire her with a dread—perhaps a dislike—of many
-things upon which she must learn hereafter to look with familiar
-indifference, if not with absolute complacency.  She might thus (if some
-remedy were not provided) be led to take up with certain melancholy
-principles, which would either shut her out from the society of her
-friends, or make her miserable among them.  But the stage corrects all
-this; and more than counterbalances the impressions of virtue, by
-stratagems of the happiest contrivance.
-
-It is worthy of attention, how much ingenuity is displayed in bringing
-about that moral temperament, which is necessary for the meridian of
-Fashion.  The rake, who is debauching innocence, squandering away
-property, and extending the influence of licentiousness to the utmost of
-his power, would (if fairly represented) excite spontaneous and universal
-abhorrence.  But this result would be extremely inconvenient; since
-raking, seduction, and prodigality, make half the business, and almost
-all the reputation, of men of Fashion.  What, then, must be done?—Some
-qualities of acknowledged excellence must be associated with these
-vicious propensities, in order to prevent them from occasioning unmingled
-disgust.  We may, I presume, refer it to the same policy, that in dramas
-of the greatest popularity, the worthless libertine is represented as
-having at the bottom some of those properties which reflect most honour
-upon human nature; while—as if to throw the balance still more in favour
-of vice—the man of professed virtue is delineated as being in the main a
-sneaking and hypocritical villain.  Lessons such as these are not likely
-to be lost upon the ingenuous feelings of a young girl.  For, besides the
-fascinations of an elegant address and an artful manner, the whole
-conduct of the plot is an insidious appeal to the simplicity of her
-heart.  She is taught to believe, by these representations, that
-profligacy is the exuberance of a generous nature, and decorum the veil
-of a bad heart: so that having learnt, in the outset of her career, to
-associate frankness with vice, and duplicity with virtue, she will not be
-likely to separate these combinations during the remainder of her life.
-
-To enter further into the minute details of a Fashionable education,
-would only be to travel over ground which has been often and ingeniously
-explored by writers of the greatest eminence.  Enough has been said to
-show, that the system of education adopted by this people, like every
-other branch of their economy, is adapted to qualify the parties for that
-polite intercourse with each other, which seems to constitute the very
-end of their being.  And if it be considered, of what nature that
-intercourse is, it will occasion no surprise, that the education which
-prepares for it should be expressly adapted to confound the distinctions
-of virtue and vice; and to inculcate, with that view,—duplicity in
-religion, and prevarication in morals.
-
-
-
-
-CHAP. V.
-
-
-MANNERS—LANGUAGE.
-
-THE _Manners_ of this people are remarkably artificial.  They appear to
-do every thing by rule; and not a word, a look, or a movement escapes
-them, but what has at one time or other been studied.  In every part of
-their demeanour they have reference to some invisible standard, which
-they call the _Ton_, or the Fashion, (from which latter term they have
-derived their appellation;) and by this mysterious talisman their
-manners, their dress, their language, and the whole of their behaviour,
-are tried.  It is singular enough, that this standard which is to fix
-every thing, is itself the most variable of all things.  The changes
-which it undergoes are so rapid, that it requires a sort of telegraphic
-communication to become acquainted with them: and though there is no
-regular way by which they may be known, yet nothing is considered so
-disgraceful as not to know them.
-
-The fluctuations to which this standard is subject, render it difficult
-to catch the features of people of Fashion, or to speak with any
-precision upon the exterior of their character.  They are, in fact,
-moulded and modified by such capricious and indefinable circumstances,
-that he who would exhibit a true picture of their manners, must write a
-history of the endless transmutations through which they are compelled to
-pass.  It has, indeed, been remarked by nice observers, that a
-dissimulation of their sentiments and their feelings, is a feature in the
-character of this people, which never forsakes them; and that amidst all
-the revolutions which their other habits experience, this
-master-principle preserves an unchanging uniformity.  Nor is it
-sufficient to overthrow this reasoning, that, among the innovations of
-recent times, the manners of people of Fashion have been brought into an
-affected resemblance to those of their inferiors.  The cropped head, and
-groomish dress of the men, and the noisy tone and vulgar air of the
-women, would almost persuade a stranger that these are blunt and artless
-people, and that they love nothing so much as honesty and plain-dealing.
-The fact, however, is, that though the mode of playing is varied, yet the
-game of dissimulation is still going on.  This condescension to vulgarity
-is, after all, the disguise of pride, and not the dress of simplicity;
-and is as remote from the sincerity which it imitates, as from the
-refinement which it renounces.
-
-An exaggerated opinion of their own importance is, in reality, a
-prevailing characteristic of the Fashionable World.
-
-The Greeks and Romans were thought to have gone too far, when they called
-all nations but their own _barbarians_; but people of Fashion go a step
-farther: for they consider themselves _every body_, and the rest of the
-world _nobody_.  The influence of this sentiment is sufficiently
-discernible over the whole of their character.  It dictates to their
-affections, and robs them, in many instances, of their spontaneity, their
-sweetness, and their force.  It results from this conceit, that their
-love is often artificial, their friendship ceremonious, and their charity
-ungracious.  In a word, the whole of their demeanour is such as might be
-expected from a people, who idolize the most frivolous or the most
-vicious propensities of human nature; and estimate as _nothing_, the
-talents, and industry, and virtue, which adorn it.
-
-Their _Language_ would afford great scope for discussion; but the limits
-which I have prescribed to my work, will not allow me to embrace it.  I
-shall, however, throw together such remarks as may enable the reader to
-form some judgment of it; and refer him, for more extended information
-upon it, to those modish compositions in which it is conveyed, and to the
-circles in which it is spoken.
-
-Their _language_, then, is generally a dialect of the people among whom
-they reside.  They do, it is true, intersperse their conversational
-dialogue with scraps of French and Italian; they also construct their
-complimentary phrases with singular dexterity; they have, besides,
-certain epithets; such as _dashing_, _stylish_, &c. which may be
-considered as perfectly their own:—but if these be excepted, the rest of
-their language is, to the best of my judgment, wholly vernacular.
-
-It must not, however, be supposed, that because these people use the
-terms of the country in which they live, they therefore use them in their
-ordinary and received acceptation.  Nothing can be farther from the fact.
-I verily believe, that if the whole nomenclature of Fashion were examined
-from beginning to end, scarcely twenty words would be found, which in
-passing over to the regions of Fashion, have not left their native and
-customary sense behind them.
-
-In support of this observation I shall cite, for the reader’s
-satisfaction, a brief extract from a private memorandum, which I had
-originally made with a design of constructing a Fashionable glossary.
-
- _Vernacular Terms_.                _Fashionable Sense_.
-Age                    An infirmity which nobody owns.
-Buying                 Ordering goods without present purpose of
-                       payment.
-Conscience             Something to swear by.
-Courage                Fear of man.
-Cowardice              Fear of God.
-Day                    Night.
-Debt                   A necessary evil.
-Decency                Keeping up appearances.
-Dinner                 Supper.
-Dressed                Half-naked.
-Duty                   Doing as other people do.
-Economy                (Obsolete.)
-Enthusiasm             Religion in earnest.
-Fortune                The chief-good.
-Friend                 (Meaning not known.)
-Home                   Every body’s house but one’s own.
-Honour                 The modern Moloch, worshipped with licentious
-                       rites and human victims.
-Knowing                Expert in folly and vice.
-Life                   Destruction of body and soul.
-Love                   (Meaning not known.)
-Modest                 Sheepish.
-New                    Delightful.
-Night                  Day.
-Nonsense               Polite conversation.
-Old                    Insufferable.
-Pay                    Only applied to visits.
-Play                   Serious work.
-Protection             Keeping a mistress.
-Religion               Occupying a seat in some church or chapel.
-Spirit                 Contempt of decorum and conscience.
-Style                  Splendid extravagance.
-Thing (the)            Any thing but what a man should be.
-Time                   Only regarded in music and dancing.
-Truth                  (Meaning uncertain).
-Virtue                 Any agreeable quality.
-Vice                   Only applied to servants and horses.
-Undress                Complete clothing.
-Wicked                 Irresistibly agreeable.
-Work                   A vulgarism.
-
-I am far from pretending to have assigned the precise significations in
-which the words above cited are employed by people of Fashion.  Perhaps I
-have done as much towards fixing the sense, as will be expected of one
-who cannot pretend to be perfectly in their confidence.  In fact, the
-transmutation of terms is an operation to which this people are most
-devoutly addicted.  It is daily making some advances among them; and
-keeps pace with the progress of their ideas, from the correct and
-authentic notions of truth and virtue, to those loose and spurious ones
-by which they are superseded.
-
-In proof of this statement, I need only adduce those phrases in which
-they are accustomed to pronounce the eulogium of their deceased
-associates.
-
-For example,—Is reference made to an unthinking profligate who has lately
-been hurried from the world?  His vices are glanced at, and cursorily
-condemned: but still it is affirmed, that, with all his faults, he always
-_meant well_; he had _a good heart __at the bottom_; and he was _nobody’s
-enemy but his own_.
-
-And for whom is this apology offered, and this praise indirectly
-solicited?  For the man who, if he ever meant any thing, meant nothing
-more or better, than to gratify his lusts, pursue his vicious pleasures,
-drink his wine, shake his dice, shuffle his cards; and thus waste his
-existence, and destroy his soul.  Of such a man it is gravely affirmed,
-that—_he always meant well_.
-
-And of whom is it said, that he had _a good heart_?—Of the man who rarely
-manifested, through the whole of his life, any other symptoms than those
-which indicate a bad one.  His mouth was full of cursing and bitterness;
-his humour was choleric and revengeful; his feet moved swift to shed
-blood; there was no conscience in his bosom, and no fear of God before
-his eyes; and yet, because he was occasionally charitable, and habitually
-convivial, no doubt is entertained but that—_he had a good heart at the
-bottom_.
-
-Lastly, _he_ is said to have been _nobody’s enemy but his own_, who has
-wasted the earnings of an industrious ancestor, and bequeathed beggary
-and shame to his innocent descendants.  The wretch has distressed his
-family by his prodigality, and corrupted thousands by his example; and
-yet, because he has been the dupe of his lusts, and fallen a martyr to
-his vices, he is pronounced to have been—_nobody’s enemy but his own_.
-
-These instances will serve to throw some light upon the sort of idiom
-employed by people of Fashion; and the manner in which they have wrested
-expressions of no little importance, from their natural and legitimate
-signification.
-
-But before I quit the consideration of their _language_, I think it my
-duty to point out another peculiarity; of which, to the best of my
-knowledge, no satisfactory account has yet been given.  Whether it arise
-from the paucity of their words, the confusion of their ideas, or any
-other cause distinct from each of these, so it is, that they have but
-_one_ term by which they are accustomed to express their strong emotions
-both of pleasure and pain.  On this _term_ you will find them ringing
-perpetual changes; and, strange to say, it is to be heard, under one or
-other of its grammatical inflections, {104} in almost every sentence
-which falls from their lips.  The master has recourse to it in scolding
-his servants, the officer in reprimanding his men.  The traveller employs
-it in recounting his adventures, and the man of pleasure in describing
-his intrigues.  It is heard in the house, and in the field; in moments of
-seriousness, and of levity; in expressions of praise, and of blame.  In
-short, it is used on occasions the most dissimilar, under impressions the
-most contradictory, and for purposes the most opposite; and is, in fact,
-the _sine quâ non_ of every energetic and emphatical period.
-
-Now it happens, unfortunately, that this _catholicon_ in Fashionable
-phraseology is, of all terms, that to which sober Christians annex the
-most awful ideas; and from the use of which they as scrupulously abstain,
-as they do from that of the Great Being whose vengeance it so
-tremendously expresses.  And it may be worthy of consideration, whether
-this familiar and unfeeling employment, by people of Fashion, of a term
-which imports _infernal punishment_, does not strengthen those doubts
-which have been already suggested, of their real belief in a place of
-future torment.
-
-It ought not at the same time to be overlooked, that, in this respect,
-they bear a close resemblance to the vulgarest part of the community; and
-it would furnish a subject of curious investigation, why two classes in
-society, respectively the highest and the lowest, should exhibit so
-striking an agreement in a material branch of language.  I know it has
-been said, that extremes meet; and the fact before us is so much proof
-that the remark is just: but that by no means solves the difficulty.
-For, after all, the question returns upon us, _why_ such a fact should
-exist?  I confess, for my own part, I know no answer that can be given to
-it; and I very much wish that some one of their number would undertake to
-explain their real motives for courting a resemblance in _one_ respect
-with that description of society, from which they make it their pride to
-differ in every _other_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAP. VI.
-
-
-DRESS—AMUSEMENTS.
-
-THERE are, in the _Dress_ of this people, many singularities, upon which,
-he who wished to say every thing that could be said, might say a great
-deal.  The peculiarity which a stranger would be most apt to remark, is
-that of their striving to be as unlike as possible to the rest of the
-world.  This appears, indeed, to be the parent of almost every other
-peculiarity; and certainly gives birth to many changes not a little
-ridiculous and prejudicial.
-
-It being a sort of fundamental maxim with them, that superiority consists
-in dissimilitude, they become engaged in a perpetual competition with the
-world at large, and to a certain degree with each other.  In order to
-maintain this struggle for pre-eminence, they are compelled to vary the
-modes and materials of their dress in all the ways which a fanciful
-imagination can suggest.  It happens, through some strange infatuation,
-that those who affect to despise the man or woman of Fashion, yet ape
-their dress and air with the most impertinent and vexatious perseverance.
-What is to be done in this case?—Similitude is not to be endured.  In
-order therefore to throw out their pursuers, these monopolizers of the
-mode are compelled to run into such eccentricities, as nothing could
-justify or palliate, but the distress to which they are reduced.  If, for
-example, short skirts and low capes are copied by the herd of imitators,
-the Fashionables seek their remedy in the opposite extreme; their skirts
-are drawn down to the calves of their legs, and their capes pulled over
-their ears with as much solemnity and dispatch, as if their existence
-depended upon the measure.  So if full petticoats and high kerchiefs are
-adopted by the misses of the crowd, the dressing-chambers of Fashion are
-all bustle and confusion:—the limbs are stripped, and the bosom laid
-bare, though the east wind may be blowing at the time; and coughs,
-rheumatisms, and consumptions, be upon the wings of every blast.
-
-This rage for dissimilitude in the affairs of the _wardrobe_, is allowed
-an indefinite scope.  Unfortunately, as far as I can learn, there are no
-determinate points, beyond which it would be esteemed indecent or
-imprudent to indulge it.  The consequence is, that the _groom_ and the
-_gentleman_ may be often mistaken for each other; and he who is
-recognised to-day as a _man of Fashion_, may to-morrow be confounded with
-_one of the people_.
-
-I confess I have always regarded this part of their conduct as an
-impeachment of their political wisdom.  I should have thought _à priori_,
-that a people who are so jealous of their pre-eminence in society, would
-not have overlooked the degree in which dress contributes to uphold it.
-Many a Fashionable man must depend for the whole of his estimation, upon
-the cut of his coat, and the selection of his wardrobe.  A frivolous or
-preposterous taste may therefore prove fatal to the only sort of
-reputation which it was in his power to obtain.  But besides, an
-interchange of dress between people of Fashion and those whom they
-consider their inferiors, may eventually produce very serious mischiefs.
-The distinctions of rank and condition are manifestly matters of external
-regulation, and consequently cannot be kept up without a due attention to
-external appearances.  He therefore who makes himself vulgar or
-ridiculous, is guilty of an act of self-degradation; and the fault will
-be his own, if he is displaced or despised; since he has renounced that
-appropriate costume, which proclaimed at once his station in society, and
-his determination to maintain it.
-
-The fair-sex appear also on their part to set all limits and restraints
-at defiance.  They seem to feel themselves at perfect liberty to follow
-the prevailing mode, whatever that mode may be.  The consequence is, that
-_modesty_ is often the last thing considered by the young, and
-_propriety_ as completely neglected by the old.  And this latter
-circumstance may serve to account in some measure for the little respect
-which is said to be paid to _age_ in the Fashionable World.  To judge
-from the histories of all nations, it seems impossible, that length of
-days, if accompanied with those characteristics which denote and become
-it, should not excite spontaneous veneration.  But if the shrivelled arm
-must be bound in ribbands and bracelets, if the withered limbs must be
-wrapped in muslins and gauzes, and the wrinkled face be decorated with
-ringlets and furbelows, the silly veteran waves the privilege of her
-years; and since she disgusts the grave, without captivating the gay, she
-must not be surprized if she meets with respect from neither.
-
-A fondness for _amusements_ is one of the strongest characteristics of
-this people.—They may almost be said to live for little else.  They pass
-the whole of that short day which they allow themselves, in making
-arrangements for spending the ensuing night.  Indeed, their preference of
-night to day is such, that they seem to consider the latter as having no
-other value than as it leads to the former, and affords an opportunity of
-preparing for its enjoyment.  And hence I suppose it is, that such
-multitudes among them dine by candle-light, and go to bed by day-light.
-
-This passion for diversions renders the _Sunday_ particularly irksome to
-persons of any sort of _ton_ in the Fashionable World.  A dose of piety
-in the morning is well enough, though it is somewhat inconvenient to take
-it quite so early; but then it wants an opera, or a play, or a dance, to
-carry it off.  There are indeed some _esprit-forts_ among the ladies, who
-are trying with no little success to redeem a portion of the Sabbath from
-the insufferable bondage of the Bible and the sermon-book; and to
-naturalize that continental distribution of the day, which gives the
-morning to devotion, and the evening to dissipation.  It is but justice
-to the gentlemen to say, that they discover no backwardness in supporting
-a measure so consonant to all their wishes.  It is therefore not
-impossible that some considerable changes in this respect may soon be
-brought about.  That good-humoured legislature which has allowed a Sunday
-newspaper, {116} will perhaps not always refuse a Sunday opera, or play.
-People of Fashion will then no longer have to torture their invention for
-expedients to supply the absence of their diurnal diversions.  They may
-then let their tradesmen go quietly to their parish-churches, instead of
-sending for them to wear away the sabbath-hours in some supervacaneous
-employment.  In short, Sunday may be set at liberty from its primitive
-bondage, and exhibit as happy a union of morning solemnity and evening
-licentiousness, as it has ever displayed among the dissolute adherents of
-Fashionable Christianity.
-
-But to return:—The rage for amusements {119} is so strong in this people,
-that it seems to supersede all exercise of judgment in the choice and the
-conduct of them.  To go every where, see every thing, and know every
-body, are, in their estimation, objects of such importance, that, in
-order to accomplish them, they subject themselves to the greatest
-inconveniences, and commit the very grossest absurdities.  Hence they
-will rush in crowds, to shine where they cannot be seen, to dance where
-they cannot move, and to converse with friends whom they cannot approach;
-and, what is more, though they cannot breathe for the pressure, and can
-scarcely live for the heat, yet they call this—enjoyment.
-
-Nor does this passion suffer any material abatement by the progress of
-time.  Many veterans visit, to the last, the haunts of polite
-dissipation; they lend their countenance to those dramas of vanity in
-which they can no longer act a part; and show their incurable attachment
-to the pleasures of this world, by their unwillingness to decline them.
-The infirmities which attend upon the close of life are certainly
-designed to produce other habits; and it should seem, that when every
-thing announces an approaching dissolution, the amusements of the
-drawing-room might give place to the employments of the closet.  Persons,
-however, of this description are of another mind; and as every difficulty
-on the score of teeth, hoariness, and wrinkles, can be removed by the
-happy expedients of ivory, hair-caps, and cosmetics, there is certainly
-no _physical_ objection to their continuing among their Fashionable
-acquaintance, till they are wanted in another world.
-
-I cannot illustrate this part of my subject better than by presenting my
-readers with the following Ode on the Spring, supposed to have been
-written by a man of Fashion; it expresses, with so much exactness, the
-sentiments and taste of that extraordinary people, that it will stand in
-the place of a thousand observations upon their character.
-
-
-
-                            ODE ON THE SPRING.
-
-
-            SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BY A MAN OF FASHION.
-
-                                     I.
-
-   LO! where the party-giving dames,
-      Fair Fashion’s train, appear;
-   Disclose the long-expected games,
-      And wake the modish year:
-   The opera-warbler pours her throat,
-   Responsive to the actor’s note,
-      The dear-bought harmony of Spring;
-   While, beaming pleasure as they fly,
-   Bright flambeaus through the murky sky
-      Their welcome fragrance fling.
-
-                                     II.
-
-   Where’er the rout’s full myriads close
-      The staircase and the door,
-   Where’er thick files of belles and beaus
-      Perspire through ev’ry pore:
-   Beside some faro-table’s brink,
-   With me the Muse shall _stand_ and think,
-      (Hemm’d sweetly in by squeeze of state,)
-   How vast the comfort of the crowd,
-   How condescending are the proud,
-      How happy are the great!
-
-                                    III.
-
-   Still is the toiling hand of Care,
-      The drays and hacks repose;
-   But, hark, how through the vacant air
-      The rattling clamour glows!
-   The wanton Miss and rakish Blade,
-   Eager to join the masquerade,
-      Through streets and squares pursue their fun:
-   Home in the dusk some bashful skim;
-   Some, ling’ring late, their motley trim
-      Exhibit to the sun.
-
-                                     IV.
-
-   To Dissipation’s playful eye,
-      Such is the life for man;
-   And they that halt, and they that fly,
-      Should have no other plan:
-   Alike the busy and the gay
-   Should sport all night till break of day,
-      In Fashion’s varying colours drest;
-   Till seiz’d for debt through rude mischance,
-   Or chill’d by age, they leave the dance,
-      In gaol or dust—to rest.
-
-                                     V.
-
-   Methinks I hear, in accents low,
-      Some sober quiz reply,
-   Poor child of Folly! what art thou?
-      A Bond-Street Butterfly!
-   Thy choice nor Health nor Nature greets,
-   No taste hast thou of vernal sweets,
-      Enslav’d by noise, and dress, and play:
-   Ere thou art to the country flown,
-   The sun will scorch, the Spring be gone,—
-      Then leave the town in May.
-
-
-
-
-CHAP. VII.
-
-
-HAPPINESS OF THE PEOPLE ESTIMATED.
-
-I TRUST my reader is by this time sufficiently acquainted with the
-general outline of Fashionable life: it would only be accumulating
-observations unnecessarily to enter further into the subject: I shall
-therefore devote the present chapter to a brief investigation of the
-state of happiness among a people who, it must be observed, claim to be
-considered—the _happiest of their species_.
-
-Happiness is, as moralists agree, a relative expression; and indicates
-the excess of the aggregate of good over that of evil in any given
-condition.  The foundation of happiness therefore must be traced to the
-ideas which those, upon whose condition the question turns, are
-accustomed to entertain, of good and evil.  So that if we wished to
-ascertain the amount of happiness in a life of Fashion, we must make our
-calculation out of those things, which constitute respectively good and
-evil in a Fashionable estimation.  I have had occasion to observe before,
-that a Fashionable life is a life of sense; consequently all the sources
-of happiness in such a condition must be confined to the pleasures of
-sense.  Now, it must be considered, that the pains of sense are at least
-as numerous as its pleasures; and that, by a law of Providence subject to
-very few exceptions, those who will have the one, must take their
-proportion of the other with them.
-
-This observation is abundantly confirmed by what occurs in the experience
-of the parties under consideration.  The pleasures which men of Fashion
-derive from the gratification of their animal appetites at the table, the
-gaming-house, and the brothel, have a very ample set-off in the
-inconveniences which they suffer from arthritic, nervous, and a thousand
-other, painful and retributive complaints.  Nor are the gay and
-dissipated of the other sex exempted from the same contingency of
-constitutional suffering.  Beside the common lot of human nature, they
-have a class of evils of their own procuring; and, by excesses as
-imprudent as they are immoral, they bring upon themselves a variety of
-diseases, for which neither a name nor a remedy can be found.  There are
-those, it is true, who avoid much of this inconvenience, by mixing some
-discretion with their folly, and setting some bounds to their favourite
-gratifications: but then it is to be remembered, that these are
-restraints which render persons of licentious minds singularly uneasy;
-and they may therefore be considered as administering to pain, nearly in
-proportion as they abridge indulgence.
-
-But supposing that we were to throw these severer items out of the
-calculation: there would still remain evils enough in a Fashionable
-condition, to keep the scale from preponderating on the side of pleasure.
-To shine in a ball-room, is, no doubt, a high satisfaction; but then to
-be outshone by another, (which is just as likely to happen,) is at least
-as great a mortification: to be invited to _many_ modish parties, is
-really delightful; but then to know those who are invited to _more_ than
-ourselves, is certainly vexatious: to find one’s-self surrounded by
-people of the first Fashion, is charming; but then to be dying with heat
-all the time, is something in the opposite scale; to wear a coat or a
-head-dress of the newest invention, is indeed a pleasure of the highest
-order; but then to see, by accident, articles of the same mode on the
-back of a man-milliner, or the head of a lady’s maid, is a species of
-vexation not easily endured.  An opera, a play, a party, a night passed
-at a dance, or at a cassino, or a faro-table, are all events, to be sure,
-of the happiest occurrence; but then, to be disappointed of _one_, makes
-a deeper impression on the side of pain, than to be gratified with
-_three_, does on that of pleasure: and disappointments will happen, where
-many objects are pursued, and where the concurrence of many instruments
-is necessary to their accomplishment.  A drunken coachman, a broken
-pannel, a sick horse, a saucy footman, a mistaken message, a dull play,
-indifferent company, a head-ach, a heart-burn, an epidemical disease, or
-the dread of it, a death in the family, Sunday, Fast-day, Passion week,
-and a thousand other provoking casualties, either deprive these
-entertainments of their power of pleasing, or even set them wholly aside.
-I should only weary my reader were I to lay before him in detail half the
-catalogue of those minor distresses which embarrass the idea of a modish
-life: he must however perceive, from the little which has been said, that
-every pleasure has its countervailing pain; and that every sacrifice to
-diversion and splendour has its correspondent chastisement in vexation
-and disgrace.
-
-Hitherto those principles have been assumed as the basis of calculation,
-upon which people of Fashion have _some_ advantages in their favour; but
-there is another ground upon which (to say the whole truth) it ought to
-be put, and on which all the advantages are _against_ them.
-
-Man (it is notorious) is a reflecting being; and, do what he will, he
-_must_ reflect.  He may choose an _habitual_ career of sense; but still
-he must have, whether he seek or shun them, moments of _Reflection_.
-This is I admit, extremely inconvenient; but then it is without a remedy.
-My business, however, is, neither to impugn, nor to vindicate the
-existence of such a principle; but to show its bearings upon the sort of
-life which people of Fashion must necessarily lead.  Not to enter into
-particulars, what can constitute a heavier affliction, than for a man of
-Fashion (or, which is the same thing, a man of the world) to be obliged
-to think over again the events of his licentious career?  To be
-persecuted with recollecting the property he has squandered, the wine he
-has drunk, the seduction he has practised, and the duels he has fought?
-These things were well enough at the time; they had their humour and
-their reputation, and they were not without their pleasure: but then they
-were designed to be _acted_, and not _reflected_ upon.  The woman of
-Fashion is under the same law, and is therefore exposed to the same
-mental torments.  She, too, must trace back (though she would give the
-world to be excused) the steps she has trodden in the enchanting walks of
-dissipation.  She must live over again every portion of a life which,
-though too fascinating to be declined, is yet too shocking to be thought
-of.  Her memory, also, must be haunted with frightful scenes, which
-remind her, at the expence of how much health, and property, and time,
-and virtue, she has sustained the figure which made her so talked of, and
-the gaieties which rendered her so happy.  Now these are real
-afflictions; and that _Reflection_ from which they result is, not without
-reason, felt and acknowledged as the scourge of their existence, by the
-ingenuous part, at least, of the Fashionable World.
-
-Many expedients have indeed been suggested for laying this busy principle
-asleep, and many plans struck out for rendering its pangs supportable;
-but hitherto without success.  For though it has been proposed to laugh
-it away, dance it away, drink it away, or travel it away; yet not one of
-these projects has answered the end: and Fashionable casuists are as far
-as ever from finding out a remedy of sufficient potency, to cure, or even
-abate, in any material degree, the pains of Reflection.
-
-And here I cannot but remark, how grievously the seat of this disease
-(for such it is considered) has been mistaken by those who have so
-lightly undertaken to prescribe for its removal.  They have manifestly
-considered it as a disorder of the _nerves_; and hence all the remedies
-which they have recommended, are calculated to promote, either by change
-of scene, or by some other mechanical impulse, a brisker circulation of
-the animal spirits.  The ill success with which each has been attended,
-sufficiently proclaims the fallacy upon which they all are founded.  If
-Reflection had been only a nervous disturbance, if it had arisen out of
-any disarrangement of the _animal_ economy, some, at least, of the
-Fashionable nostrums would have dispersed the complaint: whereas it is
-notorious, that, under every regimen which has been tried, while the
-stronger symptoms have disappeared, the disorder has remained in the
-system; and neither Bath, nor Weymouth, nor Tunbridge, nor Town, has ever
-effected a cure.
-
-The plain truth is, (whatever may be insinuated to the contrary by these
-_Médecins à-la-mode_,) that the disease is altogether _moral_; and,
-consequently, the seat of it is not in the nerves, but in the
-_Conscience_.  There is, in fact, nothing new in the complaint: it is
-inseparably connected with a Fashionable career; and has been more or
-less the scourge of all, in every age, who have declined the duties which
-they owe “to God and their inferiors.”  I take it to have been a malady
-of the very same description which afflicted Herod in his communication
-with the Baptist, and which made Felix tremble under the reasoning of
-Paul.  It is not a little remarkable, that both these men of Fashion (for
-such no doubt they were) fell into the error which has been condemned, in
-the treatment of their disease; and each, there is reason to believe,
-carried it with him to his grave.
-
-If my reader now adverts to the particulars which have been stated, he
-will be compelled to draw conclusions not a little humbling to the lofty
-pretensions of a Fashionable life.  In few states of society, under its
-present imperfection, is happiness very high: and it might not perhaps be
-easy to assign the particular condition which embraces it in the greatest
-proportion.  But surely after the discoveries which this discussion has
-made, we run no risk in affirming, that a life of Fashion is _not_ that
-condition.  The lot of mankind would be wretched indeed, if those were
-_the happiest of the species_, who, without exemption from the pains of
-sense, are excluded from the pleasures of Reflection: and who, as the
-price of enjoyments derived from the _one_, become subject to the
-chastisement inflicted by _both_.
-
-
-
-
-CHAP. VIII.
-
-
-DEFECT OF THE SYSTEM—PLANS OF REFORM—CONCLUSION.
-
-A SYSTEM which does so little for the happiness of its members, as that
-which has been unfolded in the course of this work, must have some
-radical defect; and it is worthy of consideration, whether some steps
-should not be speedily taken, in order to discover the nature of that
-defect, and to provide a competent remedy for it.
-
-I am perfectly aware, that it would be most decorous, to let such a
-measure of enquiry originate in the community to which it primarily
-relates; and if I thought there was any chance of the affair being taken
-up by the body, I should satisfy myself with having intimated the
-necessity of such a procedure, and leave the people of Fashion to reform
-themselves.
-
-But I will honestly confess, that I see not at present any prospect of
-such an event.  It has not, so far as I can understand, been hinted, in
-those assemblies which legislate for the body, that the system of Fashion
-requires any revision: nor can I discover, among the projected
-arrangements for future seasons, any thing like a committee of reform.
-There is, on the contrary, every reason to believe, that designs of a
-very different nature occupy the minds of those who influence the
-community.  I very much mistake, if it is not their intention, to carry
-the system more extensively into effect; to make still further conquests
-upon the puny domains of Wisdom and Virtue; and to evince, by new modes
-of dissipation and new excuses for adopting them, the endless
-perfectibility of Folly and Vice.  Under such circumstances, it will
-scarcely be imputed to me as a trespass upon their privileges, if I
-venture to perform that office for them, which they are never likely to
-do for themselves.
-
-I scruple not then to affirm, that INCONSISTENCY is the radical fault of
-the Fashionable system.  This truth is demonstrated by every thing that
-has been said upon their polity and laws, their religion and morals,
-their plans of education, and their institutes of life.  Under every view
-which has been taken of this people, they have exhibited appearances
-truly paradoxical; and been found involved, from the beginning to the end
-of their career, in the most palpable and extraordinary contradictions.
-The fact indeed is, as their history has shown, that the principles upon
-which they act, are essentially at variance with each other; and the
-effect which these principles have upon their conduct and their feelings,
-is only such as might be expected, from an everlasting struggle for
-mastery among them.  The hand of this people is given to Self-denial, but
-their heart to Sensuality; and the manner in which they are obliged to
-equivocate with both, will not allow them the complete enjoyment of
-either.  The libertinism they practise shows them nothing but _this_
-world, the piety they profess hides every thing from them but the world
-to _come_: thus alternately impelled and restrained, deluded and
-undeceived, they follow what they love, and condemn what they follow:
-neither blind enough to be wholly led, nor discerning enough to see their
-path;—with too much religion to let them be happy here, and too little to
-make them so hereafter.
-
-Now I see but two ways by which this INCONSISTENCY can be removed; and as
-I wish to make my work of some use to the people of whom it treats, I
-shall briefly propose them in their order.
-
-1.  The _first_ plan of _melioration_ which I would submit to the
-Fashionable World, is that of _renouncing the Christian religion_.  In
-recommending this step, I proceed upon a supposition, that the government
-and laws and manners which now prevail, must _at all events_ be retained:
-and upon such a supposition, I contend, that _renouncing the Christian
-religion_ is a measure of indispensable necessity.  For surely if duels
-must be fought, what can be so preposterous as to swear allegiance to a
-law which says—“_Thou shalt not kill_?”  If injuries must _not_ be
-forgiven, where is the propriety of employing a prayer in which the
-petitioner declares, that he does forgive them?  If the passions are to
-be _gratified_, what end is answered by doing homage to those Scriptures
-which so peremptorily declare, that they must be _mortified_?  In a word,
-if swearing, prevarication, and sensuality; if a neglect of “the duties
-to God and inferiors,” be necessary, or even allowable, parts of a
-Fashionable character; where is the policy, the virtue, or even the
-decency, of connecting it with a religion which stamps these several
-qualities with the deepest guilt, and threatens them with the severest
-retribution?  If a religion of _some_ sort be absolutely necessary, let
-such an one be chosen as may possess a correspondence with the other
-parts of the system: let it be a religion in which pride, and resentment,
-and lust, may have their necessary scope; a religion, in short, in which
-the God of this world may be the idol, and the men of this world the
-worshippers.  Such an arrangement will go a great way towards
-establishing _consistency_: it will dissolve a union by which both
-parties are sufferers; and liberate at once the people of Fashion from a
-profession which involves them in contradiction, and Christianity from a
-connexion which covers her with disgrace.
-
-2.  If, on the contrary, it should be thought material (as I trust it
-will) _to retain Christianity at all events_, the plan of reform must be
-exactly _inverted_; and the sacrifices taken from those laws, and maxims,
-and habits, which interfere with the spirit and the injunctions of that
-holy religion.  It is altogether out of the character of Christianity to
-act a subservient or an accommodating part.  Her nature, her office, and
-her object, are all decidedly adverse to that base alliance into which it
-has been attempted to degrade her.  Pure and spotless as her native
-skies, she delights in holiness; because God, from whose bosom she came,
-is holy.  Girt with power, and designed for dominion, she claims the
-heart as her throne, and all the affections as the ministers of her will:
-nor does she consider her object accomplished until she has cast down
-every lofty imagination, extinguished every rebellious lust, and brought
-into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.  It is obvious,
-therefore, that if she is to be retained at all, it must be upon her
-_own_ terms; and those terms will manifestly require an utter
-renunciation of every measure which, under the former plan, it was
-proposed to retain.  Duels must _now_ no longer be fought, nor injuries
-resentfully pursued, nor licentious passions deliberately gratified.
-Swearing must be banished from the lips, prevarication from the thoughts,
-sensuality from the heart; and that law be expunged, which dispenses with
-“the duties to God and inferiors,” in order to make way for that
-immutable statute which enjoins them.
-
-It must not be dissembled, that, in the progress of such a reform,
-certain inconveniences will be unavoidably encountered; but these will be
-speedily and effectually compensated by an influx of real and permanent
-advantages.  The pangs which accompanied the “death unto sin,” will soon
-be forgotten in the pleasures which result from a “life unto
-righteousness;” and the peace and hope which abound in the way, will
-efface the recollection of those agonistic efforts by which it was
-entered.
-
-In the mean time, all things will be done with decency and order.  The
-whole economy of life and conduct will be scrupulously consulted; and
-such arrangements introduced, as will make the several parts and details
-correspond and harmonize with each other.  Duty and recreation will have
-their proper characters, and times, and places, and limits.  Every thing,
-in short, will be preserved in the system, which can facilitate
-intercourse without impairing virtue; and nothing be struck out but what
-administers to vanity, duplicity, and vice.
-
-Whether changes of such magnitude as those which I have described, will
-ever take place upon an extensive scale, I cannot pretend to conjecture;
-but certain I am, that, if ever they should, not only the Fashionable
-World, but society at large, will be very much the better for them.
-Greatly as I wish the “Reformation of Manners,” and “the Suppression of
-Vice,” I see insuperable obstacles to each of these events, while rank,
-and station, and wealth, throw their mighty influence into the opposite
-scale.  Then—_and not till then_—will Christianity receive the homage she
-deserves, and produce the blessings she has promised—when “the makers of
-our manners” shall submit to her authority; and the PEOPLE of FASHION
-become the PEOPLE of GOD.
-
-                                * * * * *
-
-                                 THE END.
-
-
-
-
-_Lately published by the same Author_,
-
-
-THE CHRISTIAN MONITOR for the LAST DAYS; or a Caution to the professedly
-Religious, against the Corruptions of the latter Times, in Doctrine,
-Discipline, and Morals.  Second Edition, corrected.—8vo. 6_s._
-
-                                  ALSO,
-
-THE HISTORY of the ORIGIN and FIRST TEN YEARS of the BRITISH AND FOREIGN
-BIBLE SOCIETY.  2 Vols.  Extra Boards.  Demy, 1_l._ 4_s._  Royal, 1_l._
-15_s._
-
-This Work contains an Authentic Account of the Origin of the Institution,
-and of the several Societies in connection with it: together with a
-Chronological View of the Controversy concerning it, and other Matters of
-an interesting Nature, not before made Public.
-
-_The following are some of the Testimonies borne to the Work_.
-
-    “The general Narrative is clear and manly, and in many parts rises
-    into true eloquence.
-
-    “There is one department, especially, of the Work, which is entirely
-    _new_, and that is the History of the _Origin_ of the various
-    Societies.  We do not hesitate to consider it as in the highest
-    degree interesting and valuable.”  _Christ. Observ. for Nov._ 1816.
-
-    “Mr. Owen, in detailing the History of the British and Foreign Bible
-    Society, has conferred an obligation, not only on the particular
-    Patrons of it, but on Literature in general.”  _Gent. Mag. for Oct._
-    1816.
-
-    “We trust that every one of our Readers, who can afford to purchase
-    the Work, will possess himself of this intellectual treat.”  _Christ.
-    Guard. for Feb._ 1817.
-
-                   _See also British Review_, _No. XV_.
-
-Sold by the same Booksellers; of whom may be had the other Works of the
-Author.
-
-                                * * * * *
-
-                                * * * * *
-
-               _Tilling and Hughes_, _Printers_, _Chelsea_.
-
-
-
-
-FOOTNOTES.
-
-
-{5}  For the geographical solecism of “a western _latitude_,” the author
-has only to plead, that the people of whom he treats, acknowledge no
-points of the compass but those of _east_ and _west_; and that the term
-_longitude_ has scarcely any place in their language.
-
-{10}  This _somehow_ and _somewhere_ existence of people of Fashion might
-lead a stranger to suppose, that they have no permanent dwelling-place.
-He must, however, be told, that, while they are thus migrating from place
-to place, without comfort, and without respect, many of them are actually
-turning their backs upon the conveniences of a family mansion, and the
-consequence of a dependent tenantry.  This disposition to emigration in
-persons of distinction, has been so admirably noticed in a late elegant
-and interesting work, that I cannot refuse myself the pleasure of
-transcribing the passage.
-
-    “That there exists at present amongst us a lamentable want of rural
-    philosophy, or of that wisdom which teaches a man at once to enjoy
-    and to improve a life of retirement, is, I think, a point too obvious
-    to be contested.  Whence is it else, that the ancient mansions of our
-    nobility and gentry, notwithstanding all the attractions of rural
-    beauty, and every elegance of accommodation, can no longer retain
-    their owners, who, _at the approach of winter_, _pour into the
-    metropolis_, _and even in the summer months wander to the sea-coast
-    or to some other place of Fashionable resort_?  This unsettled
-    humour, in the midst of such advantages, plainly argues much inward
-    disorder, and points out the need as well as the excellency of that
-    discipline which can inspire a pure taste of nature, furnish
-    occupation in the peaceful labours of husbandry, and, what is nobler
-    still, open the sources of moral and intellectual
-    enjoyment.”—_Preface to Rural Philosophy_, _by_ ELY BATES, Esq. p. 9.
-
-{12}  His Majesty’s Birth-Day.
-
-{29}  Vide Paley’s Mor. Philos. vol. i. p. 1.
-
-{42}  For an account of this transaction, see the trial of Captain
-Macnamara for the murder of Colonel Montgomery; in which it will appear,
-that though the Captain admitted _the fact_, yet the jury acquitted him
-of the _crime_.  Such complaisance on the part of juries is particularly
-favourable to this summary mode of terminating differences.  Fatal duels
-are now become almost as common as highway robberies, and make almost as
-little impression upon the public mind.  The _murdered_ is carried to his
-grave, and the _murderer_ received back into society, with the same
-honour, as if the one had done his duty in sacrificing his life, and the
-other had only done _his_ in taking it away.
-
-{53}  “In the worst moments of his pain he cried out, that he sincerely
-hoped, _the agonies he then endured might expiate the sins he had
-committed_.” * * * * “I wish with all my soul (says the writer of the
-Memoir) that the unthinking votaries of dissipation and infidelity could
-all have been present at the death-bed of this poor man; could have heard
-his expressions of contrition for his past misconduct, and of _reliance
-upon the mercy of his Creator_.”—_Vide Memoir of the late Lord
-Camelford_, _by the Rev. —_, &c.
-
-{57}  Vide the titles of certain country-dances, the Pantomime of Don
-Juan, and the ballets at the Opera House, on the vigils of the Sabbath.
-
-{66}  The Bishop of Durham animadverts (with just severity) upon “_the
-great neglect of church in the Sunday afternoons_, _when the duties of
-religion are deserted for the fashions or friendship if the world_.”
-Vide Charge for 1801.
-
-{104}  If the reader should have a difficulty in discovering the full
-import of this remark, he is requested to consider that the peculiar
-_term_ appropriated to _swearing_ is capable of becoming either a verb, a
-substantive, a participial adjective, or an adverb: and he will find that
-it is used under all these forms by people of Fashion.
-
-{116}  How much the Fashionable World are indebted to the legislature for
-refusing to accede to Lord Belgrave (now Earl Grosvenor’s) motion against
-Sunday newspapers, in 1799, may be learnt (among other things) from the
-following advertisement which appeared in the Morning Post for October
-26, 1805:
-
-    “The British Neptune, or Naval, Military, and _Fashionable_ Sunday
-    Advertiser, _will always contain real critiques upon Theatrical
-    Performances_.”
-
-Such entertaining publications as these, issued and hawked about on the
-Lord’s Day, are a concession to the Fashionable infirmities of the age,
-for which those who are wearied of their Bibles, cannot be sufficiently
-thankful.
-
-If any of my readers wish to see this subject seriously discussed, he
-will find something to his purpose in the 6th chapter of “The Christian
-Monitor for the last Days.”
-
-N.B.  While this note was passing through the press, a Sunday _Evening_
-Paper was announced for publication: and, as if it were not sufficient to
-break the laws, without at the same time libelling them, this “Sunday
-Evening Gazette,” which is to employ compositors, pressmen, venders,
-hawkers, &c. on the Lord’s Day, is to be called—The Constitution!!!
-
-{119}  A distinguished Prelate, who gained the ear of the Fashionable
-World to a degree beyond all former example, has adverted to this “rage
-for amusement” with such apostolical earnestness, at the close of a
-lecture delivered to perhaps the greatest number of Fashionable people
-that ever assembled for a similar purpose within the walls of a church,
-that I shall avail myself of the passage, as well to confirm my statement
-as to embellish my pages.
-
-    “When I consider that the time of the year is now approaching, in
-    which the gaieties and amusements of this vast metropolis are
-    generally engaged in with incredible alacrity and ardour, and
-    multitudes are pouring in from every part of the kingdom to take
-    their share in them; and when I recollect further, that at this very
-    period in the last year, a degree of extravagance and wildness of
-    pleasure took place, which gave pain to every serious mind, and was
-    almost unexampled in any former times, I am not, I confess, without
-    some apprehensions that the same scenes of levity and dissipation may
-    again recur; and that some of those who now hear me (of the younger
-    part more especially) may be drawn too far into this Fashionable
-    vortex, and lose, in that giddy tumult of diversion, all remembrance
-    of what has passed in this sacred place.”  _Bp Porteus on St.
-    Matthew, Vol. II. Lect._ 18, p. 161.
-
-
-
-
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