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diff --git a/old/61783-0.txt b/old/61783-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 89fde7e..0000000 --- a/old/61783-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2079 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Paradoxes and Problemes, by John Donne - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Paradoxes and Problemes - -Author: John Donne - -Release Date: April 8, 2020 [EBook #61783] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PARADOXES AND PROBLEMES *** - - - - -Produced by deaurider, David Wilson and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - - -Transcriber’s Note - - -This document uses the “long s” character ſ extensively, albeit at times -inconsistently, so is best viewed with a font containing that symbol. - - - - - PARADOXES - _and_ - PROBLEMES - - _by_ Iohn Donne - - _with two Characters - and an Essay of_ - VALOUR - - [Decoration] - - _Now for the first time reprinted from the editions - of 1633 and 1652 with one additional =Probleme=_ - - SOHO - _THE NONESUCH PRESS - 30 Gerrard Street_ - 1923 - - - - - _This edition is limited to 645 copies, printed and made in - England for the Nonesuch Press in the 17th century Fell types by - Frederick Hall, printer to the University of Oxford. The type has - been distributed. This is number 9_ - - - - -[Decoration] - - The - CONTENTS - - -❧ PARADOXES - - 1. _A Defence of Womens Inconſtancy:_ P. 1. - 2. _That Women ought to paint:_ P. 6. - 3. _That by Diſcord things increase:_ P. 9. - 4. _That good is more common then evill:_ P. 12. - 5. _That all things kill themſelves:_ P. 15. - 6. _That it is poſſible to find ſome vertue in Some Women:_ P. 17. - 7. _That Old men are more fantaſtike then Young:_ P. 19. - 8. _That Nature is our worſt Guide:_ P. 21. - 9. _That only Cowards dare dye:_ P. 24. - 10. _That a Wiſe Man is knowne by much laughing:_ P. 26. - 11. _That the gifts of the Body are better then thoſe - of the Minde:_ P. 30. - 12. _That Virginity is a Vertue:_ P. 34. - - -❧ PROBLEMES - - 1. _Why have Bastards beſt Fortune?_ P. 40. - 2. _Why Puritanes make long Sermons?_ P. 42. - 3. _Why did the Divel reſerve Jeſuites till theſe latter - dayes:_ P. 43. - 4. _Why is there more variety of Green then of other - Colours?_ P. 44. - 5. _Why doe young Lay-men ſo much ſtudy Divinity:_ P. 45. - 6. _Why hath the common Opinion afforded Women Soules?_ P. 47. - 7. _Why are the Faireſt, Falſeſt?_ P. 49. - 8. _Why Venus-ſtar only doth caſt a ſhadow?_ P. 51. - 9. _Why is Venus-ſtar multinominous, called both =Heſperus= - and =Veſper=:_ P. 54. - 10. _Why are New Officers leaſt oppreſſing?_ P. 56. - 11. _Why does the Poxe ſo much affect to undermine the Noſe?_ P. 58. - 12. _Why die none for Love now?_ P. 60. - 13. _Why do Women delight much in Feathers?_ P. 61. - 14. _Why doth not Gold ſoyl the fingers?_ P. 62. - 15. _Why do great men of all dependents, chuſe to preſerve - their little Pimps?_ P. 63. - 16. _Why are Courtiers ſooner Atheiſts then men of other - conditions?_ P. 64. - 17. _Why are ſtateſmen moſt incredulous?_ P. 66. - 18. _Why was Sir Walter Raleigh thought the fitteſt Man, to write - the Hiſtorie of theſe Times?_ P. 68. - - -❧ CHARACTERS - - 1. _The Character of a =Scot= at the first ſight:_ P. 69. - 2. _The true Character of a =Dunce=:_ P. 71. - - -❧ AN ESSAY OF VALOUR: P. 75. - - - - -[Decoration] - - - - -_BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE_ - - -Donne’s Paradoxes and Problemes are clever and entertaining trifles, -which were probably written before 1600, during the more wanton period -of their author’s life. Owing to their scurrilous nature they could -not be published during his lifetime, but shortly after his death the -greater part of them were licensed to be printed, the _Imprimatur_ -printed at the end both of the eleven Paradoxes and of the ten -Problemes being signed by Sir Henry Herbert and dated October 25, -1632. The volume was published under the title of _Juvenilia_ in 1633, -but already on November 14, 1632, an order of inquiry had been -delivered at the King’s command by the Bishop of London, calling upon -Sir Henry Herbert to explain before the Board of the Star Chamber his -reasons ‘why hee warrented the booke of D. Duns paradoxes to be -printed’. Perhaps Herbert’s explanations were regarded as -satisfactory, but, however this may have been, the King was not -successful in suppressing the book. The volume is a thin quarto -containing only thirty-two leaves, and was printed by Elizabeth -Purslowe for Henry Seyle, to be sold at the sign of the Tyger’s Head -in St. Paul’s Church-yard. The printer seems to have been somewhat -careless in imposing the licences, for, although most copies contain -the two, copies occur from which one or both have been omitted. It is -not known through what channels the publisher obtained possession of -the text, but it is probable that the publication was quite -unauthorized, and took place even without the knowledge of the younger -Donne, who, when he reprinted the _Juvenilia_ in 1652, made no -reference to any previous issue. - -The _Juvenilia_ were at once in considerable demand, and seem to have -been bought by many of the purchasers of the _Poems_, which were also -first published in quarto in 1633. This is evident from the fact that -the two books are so often found together in contemporary bindings, -the lesser volume usually being relegated to the end. The first -edition of the _Juvenilia_ was thus soon exhausted and a second -edition was published in the same year. So ineffectual did the Star -Chamber inquiry prove to have been that in this edition the publisher -not only omitted the _Imprimaturs_ altogether and so abandoned all -pretence of having any official sanction for the publication, but even -added to the first Probleme, ‘Why have Bastards best Fortune?’, which -was particularly offensive to the Court, twenty-three lines which had -not appeared in the first edition. This edition, as before a quarto -and with the same imprint, but containing only twenty-four leaves, is -considerably rarer than its predecessor. It is unlikely, however, that -this fact is to be attributed to the King’s having had any greater -success than before in suppressing it. More probably the demand for it -was less, so that part of the edition remained unsold and was -subsequently destroyed. - -In 1652 the younger Donne, in the course of his exploitation of his -father’s writings, prepared an authorized edition of the _Juvenilia_, -which was printed by Thomas Newcomb for Humphrey Moseley. The number -of the Paradoxes was now increased to twelve and of the Problemes to -seventeen, the offensive passages in the first Probleme being allowed -to remain. To these were added two ‘Characters’, ‘An Essay of Valour’, -‘A Sheaf of Miscellany Epigrams’, a reprint of _Ignatius his -Conclave_, and, finally, the _Essays in Divinity_. The Epigrams -purport to have been written by the elder Donne in Latin and to have -been translated into English by Jasper Mayne, D.D. They may have been -printed by the younger Donne in good faith, as it seems to be certain -that his father’s _Epigrammata mea Latina_ once existed; but the -epigrams attributed to him in this volume are, as Mr. Gosse has shown -(_Life and Letters of Donne, i. 16_), certainly spurious, and may well -have been composed, as well as translated, by Mayne, who was an -unprincipled, though witty, divine. The _Essays in Divinity_ had been -printed in 1651 for a different publisher, but they are very rarely -found as a separate volume in a contemporary binding, for the younger -Donne, as he made clear in his preface, sought to temper the -secularity of the _Juvenilia_ by issuing them in company with the -_Essays in Divinity_, and in this way to invest the volume with an -altogether fictitious respectability. - -Even in 1652 the Paradoxes and Problemes were not printed entire. -Another Probleme concerning Sir Walter Raleigh has been preserved in -the Bodleian Library (Tanner MSS. 299, f. 32), the copier stating that -it ‘was so bitter that his son, Jack Donne, LL.D., thought fit not to -print it with the rest’. Yet another has recently been discovered in a -manuscript containing Donne’s poems. - -The _Juvenilia_ have not been reprinted since 1652. In the present -edition the text follows that of the second edition of 1633, amplified -from the third edition of 1652 and with the additional Probleme from -the Bodleian manuscript, already printed by Mr. Edmund Gosse in his -_Life and Letters of Donne, 1899, ii. 52_. The spurious epigrams have -not been included. - - GEOFFREY KEYNES - - - - -[Decoration] - -PARADOXES - - - - -1. - -_A Defence of Womens Inconſtancy._ - - -That Women are _Inconſtant_, I with any man confeſſe, but that -_Inconſtancy_ is a bad quality, I againſt any man will maintaine: For -every thing as it is one better than another, ſo is it fuller of -_change_; The _Heavens_ themſelves continually turne, the _Starres_ -move, the _Moone_ changeth; _Fire_ whirleth, _Ayre_ flyeth, _Water_ -ebbs and flowes, the face of the _Earth_ altereth her lookes, _time_ -ſtayes not; the Colour that is moſt light, will take moſt dyes: ſo in -Men, they that have the moſt reaſon are the moſt alterable in their -deſignes, and the darkeſt or moſt ignorant, do ſeldomeſt change; -therefore Women changing more than Men, have alſo more _Reaſon_. They -cannot be immutable like ſtockes, like ſtones, like the Earths dull -Center; Gold that lyeth ſtill, ruſteth; Water, corrupteth; Aire that -moveth not, poyſoneth; then why ſhould that which is the perfection of -other things, be imputed to Women as greateſt imperfection? Becauſe -thereby they deceive men. Are not your wits pleaſed with thoſe jeſts, -which coozen your expectation? You can call it Pleaſure to be beguil’d -in troubles, and in the moſt excellent toy in the world, you call it -Treachery: I would you had your _Miſtreſſes_ ſo conſtant, that they -would never change, no not ſo much as their _ſmocks_, then ſhould you -ſee what ſluttiſh vertue, _Conſtancy_ were. _Inconſtancy_ is a moſt -commendable and cleanely quality, and Women in this quality are farre -more abſolute than the Heavens, than the Starres, Moone, or any thing -beneath it; for long obſervation hath pickt certainety out of their -mutability. The Learned are ſo well acquainted with the Starres, -Signes and Planets, that they make them but Characters, to reade the -meaning of the Heaven in his owne forehead. Every ſimple Fellow can -beſpeake the change of the _Moone_ a great while beforehand: but I -would faine have the learnedſt man ſo skilfull, as to tell when the -ſimpleſt Woman meaneth to varie. Learning affords no rules to know, -much leſſe knowledge to rule the minde of a Woman: For as _Philoſophy_ -teacheth us, that _Light things doe alwayes tend upwards_, and _heavy -things decline downeward_; Experience teacheth us otherwiſe, that the -diſpoſition of a _Light_ Woman, is to fall downe, the nature of Women -being contrary to all Art and Nature. Women are like _Flies_, which -feed among us at our Table, or _Fleas_ ſucking our very blood, who -leave not our moſt retired places free from their familiarity, yet for -all their fellowſhip will they never bee tamed nor commanded by us. -Women are like the _Sunne_, which is violently carryed one way, yet -hath a proper courſe contrary: ſo though they, by the maſtery of ſome -over-ruling churliſh Husbands, are forced to his Byas, yet have they a -motion of their owne, which their Husbands never know of. It is the -nature of nice and faſtidious mindes to know things onely to bee weary -of them: Women by their ſlye _changeableneſſe_, and pleaſing -doubleneſſe, prevent even the miſlike of thoſe, for they can never be -ſo well knowne, but that there is ſtill more unknowne. Every Woman is -a _Science_; for hee that plods upon a Woman all his life long, ſhall -at length find himſelfe ſhort of the knowledge of her: they are borne -to take downe the pride of wit, and ambition of wiſedome, making -_fooles_ wiſe in the adventuring to winne them, _wiſemen_ fooles in -conceit of loſing their labours; witty men ſtarke mad, being -confounded with their uncertaineties. _Philoſophers_ write againſt -them for ſpight, not deſert, that having attained to ſome knowledge in -all other things, in them onely they know nothing, but are meerely -ignorant: _Active_ and _Experienced_ men raile againſt them, becauſe -they love in their liveleſſe and decrepit age, when all goodneſſe -leaves them. Theſe envious _Libellers_ ballad againſt them, becauſe -having nothing in themſelves able to deſerve their love, they -maliciouſly diſcommend all they cannot obtaine, thinking to make men -beleeve they know much, becauſe they are able to diſpraiſe much, and -rage againſt _Inconſtancy_, when they were never admitted into ſo much -favour as to be forſaken. In mine Opinion ſuch men are happy that -Women are _Inconſtant_, for ſo may they chance to bee beloved of ſome -excellent Women (when it comes to their turne) out of their -_Inconſtancy_ and mutability, though not out of their owne deſert. And -what reaſon is there to clog any Woman with one Man, bee hee never ſo -ſingular? Women had rather, and it is farre better and more Iudiciall -to enjoy all the vertues in ſeverall Men, than but ſome of them in -one, for otherwiſe they loſe their taſte, like divers ſorts of meat -minced together in one diſh: and to have all excellencies in one Man -(if it were poſſible) is _Confuſion_ and _Diverſity_. Now who can -deny, but ſuch as are obſtinately bent to undervalue their worth, are -thoſe that have not ſoule enough to comprehend their excellency, Women -being the moſt excellenteſt Creatures, in that Man is able to ſubject -all things elſe, and to grow wiſe in every thing, but ſtill perſiſts a -foole in Woman? The greateſt _Scholler_, if hee once take a Wife, is -found ſo unlearned, that he muſt begin his _Horne-booke_, and all is -by _Inconſtancy_. To conclude therefore; this name of _Inconſtancy_, -which hath ſo much beene poyſoned with ſlaunders, ought to bee changed -into _variety_, for the which the world is ſo delightfull, _and a -Woman for that the moſt delightfull thing in this world_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -2. - -_That Women ought to paint._ - - -_Fouleneſſe_ is _Lothſome_: can that be ſo which helpes it? who -forbids his Beloved to gird in her waſte? to mend by ſhooing her -uneven lameneſſe? to burniſh her teeth? or to perfume her breath? yet -that the _Face_ bee more preciſely regarded, it concernes more: For as -open confeſſing ſinners are alwaies puniſhed, but the wary and -concealing offenders without witneſſe doe it alſo without puniſhment; -ſo the ſecret parts needs the leſſe reſpect; but of the _Face_, -diſcovered to all Examinations and ſurvayes, there is not too nice a -Iealouſie. Nor doth it onely draw the buſie eyes, but it is ſubject to -the divineſt touch of all, to _kiſſing_, the ſtrange and myſticall -union of ſoules. If ſhee ſhould proſtitute her ſelfe to a more -unworthy Man than thy ſelfe, how earneſtly and juſtly wouldſt thou -exclaime? that for want of this eaſier and ready way of repairing, to -betray her body to ruine and deformity (the tyrannous _Raviſhers_, and -ſodaine _Deflourers_ of all Women) what a heynous Adultery is it? What -thou loveſt in her _face_ is _colour_, and _painting_ gives that, but -thou hateſt it, not becauſe it is, but becauſe thou knoweſt it. Foole, -whom ignorance makes happy; the Starres, the Sunne, the Skye whom thou -admireſt, alas, have no _colour_, but are faire, becauſe they ſeeme to -bee coloured: If this ſeeming will not ſatisfie thee in her, thou haſt -good aſſurance of her _colour_, when thou ſeeſt her _lay_ it on. If -her _face_ bee _painted_ on a Boord or Wall, thou wilt love it, and -the Boord, and the Wall: Canſt thou loath it then when it ſpeakes, -ſmiles, and kiſſes, becauſe it is _painted_? Are wee not more -delighted with ſeeing Birds, Fruites, and Beaſts _painted_ then wee -are with Naturalls? And doe wee not with pleaſure behold the _painted_ -ſhape of Monſters and Divels, whom true, wee durſt not regard? Wee -repaire the ruines of our houſes, but firſt cold tempeſts warnes us of -it, and bytes us through it; wee mend the wracke and ſtaines of our -Apparell, but firſt our eyes, and other bodies are offended; but by -this providence of Women, this is prevented. If in _kiſſing_ or -_breathing_ upon her, the _painting_ fall off, thou art angry, wilt -thou be ſo, if it ſticke on? Thou didſt love her, if thou beginneſt to -hate her, then ’tis becauſe ſhee is not _painted_. If thou wilt ſay -now, thou didſt hate her before, thou didſt hate her and love her -together, bee conſtant in ſomething, and love her who ſhewes her great -_love_ to thee, in taking this paines to ſeeme _lovely_ to thee. - - - - -[Decoration] - -3. - -_That by Diſcord things increaſe._ - - _Nullos eſſe Deos, inane Cœlum - Affirmat Cœlius, probatq; quod ſe - Factum vidit, dum negat hæc, beatum._ - - -So I aſſevere this the more boldly, becauſe while I maintaine it, and -feele the _Contrary repugnancies_ and _adverſe fightings_ of the -_Elements_ in my Body, my Body increaſeth; and whilſt I differ from -common opinions by this _Diſcord_, the number of my _Paradoxes_ -increaſeth. All the rich benefits we can frame to our ſelves in -_Concord_, is but an _Even_ conſervation of things; in which -_Evenneſſe_ wee can expect no _change_, no _motion_; therefore no -_increaſe_ or _augmentation_, which is a _member of motion_. And if -this _unity_ and _peace_ can give _increaſe_ to things, how mightily -is _diſcord_ and _war_ to that purpoſe, which are indeed the onely -ordinary _Parents_ of _peace_. _Diſcord_ is never ſo barren that it -affords no fruit; for the _fall_ of one _eſtate_ is at the worſt the -_increaſer_ of another, becauſe it is as impoſſible to finde a -_diſcommodity_ without _advantage_, as to finde _Corruption_ without -_Generation_: But it is the _Nature_ and _Office_ of _Concord_ to -_preſerve_ onely, which property when it leaves, it differs from it -ſelfe, which is the greateſt _diſcord_ of all. All _Victories_ and -_Emperies_ gained by _warre_, and all _Iudiciall_ decidings of doubts -in _peace_, I doe claime children of _Diſcord_. And who can deny but -_Controverſies_ in _Religion_ are growne greater by _diſcord_, and not -the _Controverſie_, but _Religion_ it ſelfe: For in a _troubled -miſery_ Men are alwaies more _Religious_ then in a _ſecure peace_. The -number of _good_ men, the onely charitable nouriſhers of _Concord_, -wee ſee is thinne, and daily melts and waines; but of _bad diſcording_ -it is infinite, and growes hourely. Wee are aſcertained of all -_Diſputable_ doubts, onely by _arguing_ and differing in _Opinion_, -and if formall _diſputation_ (which is but a painted, counterfeit, and -diſſembled _diſcord_) can worke us this benefit, what ſhall not a full -and maine _diſcord_ accompliſh? Truely me thinkes I owe a _devotion_, -yea a _ſacrifice_ to _diſcord_, for caſting that _Ball_ upon _Ida_, -and for all that buſineſſe of _Troy_, whom ruin’d I admire more then -_Babylon_, _Rome_, or _Quinzay_, removed _Corners_, not onely -fulfilled with her _fame_, but with _Cities_ and _Thrones_ planted by -her _Fugitives_. Laſtly, between _Cowardice_ and _deſpaire_, _Valour_ -is gendred; and ſo the _Diſcord_ of _Extreames_ begets all vertues, -but of the _like things_ there is no iſſue without a miracle: - - _Vxor peſſima, peſſimus maritus - Miror tam malè convenire._ - -Hee wonders that betweene two ſo _like_, there could be any _diſcord_, -yet perchance for all this _diſcord_ there was nere the leſſe -_increaſe_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -4. - -_That good is more common then evill._ - - -I have not been ſo pittifully tired with any _vanity_, as with ſilly -_Old Mens_ exclaiming againſt theſe times, and extolling their owne: -Alas! they betray themſelves, for if the _times_ be _changed_, their -manners have changed them. But their ſenſes are to _pleaſures_, as -_ſick Mens_ taſtes are to _Liquors_; for indeed no _new thing_ is done -in the _world_, all things are what, and as they were, and _Good_ is -as ever it was, more plenteous, and muſt of neceſſity be _more common -then evill_, becauſe it hath this for _nature_ and _perfection_ to bee -_common_. It makes _Love_ to all _Natures_, all, all affect it. So -that in the _Worlds_ early _Infancy_, there was a time when nothing -was _evill_, but if this _World_ ſhall ſuffer _dotage_ in the -extreameſt _crookedneſſe_ thereof, there ſhall be no time when nothing -ſhal be _good_. It dares appeare and ſpread, and gliſter in the -_World_, but _evill_ buries it ſelfe in night and darkneſſe, and is -chaſtiſed and ſuppreſſed when _good_ is cheriſhed and rewarded. And as -_Imbroderers_, _Lapidaries_, and other _Artiſans_, can by all things -adorne their workes; for by adding better things, the better they ſhew -in _Luſh_ and in _Eminency_; ſo _good_ doth not onely proſtrate her -_amiableneſſe_ to all, but refuſes no end, no not of her utter -contrary _evill_, that ſhee may bee the more _common_ to us. For -_euill manners_ are _parents_ of _good Lawes_; and in every _evill_ -there is an _excellency_, which (in common ſpeech) we call _good_. For -the faſhions of _habits_, for our moving in _geſtures_, for phraſes in -our _ſpeech_, we ſay they were _good_ as long as they were uſed, that -is, as long as they were _common_; and wee eate, wee walke, onely when -it is, or ſeemes _good_ to doe ſo. All _faire_, all _profitable_, all -_vertuous_, is _good_, and theſe three things I thinke embrace all -things, but their utter _contraries_; of which alſo _faire_ may be -_rich_ and _vertuous_; _poore_ may bee _vertuous_ and _faire_; -_vitious_ may be _faire_ and _rich_; ſo that _good_ hath this good -meanes to be _common_, that ſome ſubjects ſhe can poſſeſſe intirely; -and in ſubjects poyſoned with _evill_, ſhe can humbly ſtoop to -accompany the _evill_. And of _indifferent_ things many things are -become perfectly good by being _common_, as _cuſtomes_ by uſe are made -binding _Lawes_. But I remember nothing that is therefore _ill_, -becauſe it is _common_, but _Women_, of whom alſo; _They that are moſt -common, are the beſt of that Occupation they profeſſe_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -5. - -_That all things kill themſelves._ - - -To affect, yea to effect their owne _death_ all _living_ things are -importuned, not by _Nature_ only which perfects them, but by _Art_ and -_Education_, which perfects her. _Plants_ quickened and inhabited by -the moſt unworthy _ſoule_, which therefore neither _will_ nor _worke_, -affect an _end_, a _perfection_, a _death_; this they ſpend their -_ſpirits_ to attaine, this attained, they languiſh and wither. And by -how much more they are by mans _Induſtry_ warmed, cheriſhed, and -pampered; ſo much the more early they climbe to this _perfection_, -this _death_. And if amongſt _Men_ not to _defend_ be to _kill_, what -a hainous _ſelfe-murther_ is it, not to _defend it ſelfe_. This -_defence_ becauſe _Beaſts_ neglect, they kill themſelves, becauſe they -exceed us in _number_, _ſtrength_, and a _lawleſſe liberty_: yea, of -_Horſes_ and other beaſts, they that inherit _moſt courage_ by being -bred of _gallanteſt parents_, and by _Artificial nurſing_ are -bettered, will runne to their owne _deaths_, neither ſollicited by -_ſpurres_ which they need not, nor by _honour_ which they apprehend -not. If then the _valiant_ kill himſelfe, who can excuſe the _coward_? -Or how ſhall _Man_ bee free from this, ſince the _firſt Man_ taught us -this, except we cannot kill our ſelves, becauſe he kill’d us all. Yet -leſt ſomething ſhould repaire this _Common ruine_, we daily kill our -_bodies_ with _ſurfeits_, and our mindes with _anguiſhes_. Of our -_powers_, _remembring_ kils our _memory_; Of _Affections_, _Luſting_ -our _luſt_; Of _vertues_, _Giving_ kils _liberality_. And if theſe -kill themſelves, they do it in their beſt & ſupreme _perfection_: for -after _perfection_ immediately follows _exceſſe_, which changeth the -natures and the names, and makes them not the ſame things. If then the -beſt things kill themſelves ſooneſt, (for no _affection_ endures, and -all things labour to this _perfection_) all travell to their owne -_death_, yea the frame of the whole _World_, if it were poſſible for -_God_ to be _idle_, yet becauſe it _began_, muſt _dye_. Then in this -_idleneſſe_ imagined in _God_, what could kill the _world_ but it -ſelfe, ſince _out of it, nothing is_? - - - - -[Decoration] - -6. - -_That it is poſsible to find ſome vertue in ſome Women._ - - -I am not of that ſeard _Impudence_ that I dare defend _Women_, or -pronounce them good; yet we ſee _Phyſitians_ allow ſome _vertue_ in -every _poyſon_. Alas! why ſhould we except _Women_? ſince certainely, -they are good for _Phyſicke_ at leaſt, ſo as ſome _wine_ is good for a -_feaver_. And though they be the _Occaſioners_ of many ſinnes, they -are alſo the _Puniſhers_ and _Revengers_ of the ſame ſinnes: For I -have ſeldome ſeene one which conſumes his _ſubſtance_ and _body_ upon -them, eſcape _diſeaſes_, or _beggery_; and this is their _Iuſtice._ -And if _ſuum cuiq; dare_, bee the fulfilling of all _Civill Iuſtice_, -they are _moſt juſt_; for they deny that which is theirs to no man. - - _Tanquam non liceat nulla puella negat._ - -And who may doubt of great wiſdome in them, that doth but obſerve with -how much labour and cunning our _Iuſticers_ and other _diſpenſers_ of -the _Lawes_ ſtudy to imbrace them: and how zealouſly our _Preachers_ -dehort men from them, onely by urging their _ſubtilties_, and -_policies_, and _wiſedome_, which are in them? Or who can deny them a -good meaſure of _Fortitude_, if hee conſider how _valiant men_ they -have overthrowne, and being themſelves overthrowne, how much and how -patiently they _beare_? And though they bee moſt _intemperate_, I care -not, for I undertooke to furniſh them with _ſome vertue_, not with -_all_. _Neceſſity_, which makes even bad things good, prevailes alſo -for them, for wee muſt ſay of them, as of ſome ſharpe pinching -_Lawes_; If men were free from _infirmities_, they were needleſſe. -Theſe or none muſt ſerve for _reaſons_, and it is my great -happineſſe that _Examples_ prove not _Rules_, for to confirme this -_Opinion_, the World yeelds not _one Example._ - - - - -[Decoration] - -7. - -_That Old men are more fantaſtike then Young._ - - -Who reads this _Paradox_ but thinks mee more _fantaſtike_ now, than I -was yeſterday, when I did not think thus: And if one day make this -ſenſible change in men, what will the burthen of many yeeres? To bee -_fantaſtike_ in _young men_ is _conceiptfull diſtemperature_, and a -_witty madneſſe_; but in _old men_, whoſe ſenſes are withered, it -becomes _naturall_, therefore more full and perfect. For as when wee -_ſleepe_ our _fancy_ is moſt ſtrong; ſo it is in _age_, which is a -_ſlumber_ of the _deepe ſleepe of death_. They taxe us of -_Inconſtancy_, which in themſelves _young_ they allowed; ſo that -reprooving that which they did approove, their _Inconſtancy_ exceedeth -ours, becauſe they have changed _once more_ then wee. Yea, they are -more idlely buſied in _conceited apparell_ then wee; for we, when we -are _melancholy_, weare _blacke_; when _luſty_, _greene_; when -_forſaken_, _tawney_; pleaſing our owne _inward_ affections, leaving -them to others indifferent; but they preſcribe _lawes_, and conſtraine -the _Noble_, the _Scholer_, the _Merchant_, and all _Eſtates_ to a -certaine _habit_. The _old men_ of our time have changed with patience -their owne _bodies_, much of their _lawes_, much of their _languages_; -yea their _Religion_, yet they accuſe us. To be _Amorous_ is proper -and _naturall_ in a _young man_, but in an _old man_ most -_fantaſtike_. And that _ridling humour_ of _Iealouſie_, which ſeekes -and would not finde, which requires and repents his knowledge, is in -them moſt common, yet moſt _fantaſtike_. Yea, that which falls never -in _young men_, is in them moſt _fantaſtike_ and _naturall_, that is, -_Covetouſneſſe_; even at their _journeyes end_ to make great -proviſion. Is any _habit_ of _young men_ ſo _fantaſtike_, as in the -hotteſt ſeaſons to be _double-gowned_ or _hooded_ like our _Elders_? -Or ſeemes it ſo _ridiculous_ to weare long haire, as to weare _none_. -Truely, as among the _Philoſophers_, the _Skeptike_, which _doubts -all_, was more contentious, then either the _Dogmatike_ which -_affirmes_, or _Academike_ which _denyes all_; ſo are theſe uncertaine -_Elders_, which both cals them _fantaſtike_ which follow others -_inventions_, and them alſo which are led by their owne humorous -ſuggeſtion, more _fantaſtike_ then other. - - - - -[Decoration] - -8. - -_That Nature is our worſt Guide._ - - -Shal ſhe be _guide_ to all _Creatures_, which is her ſelfe one? Or if -ſhe alſo have a _guide_, ſhall any _Creature_ have a better guide then -wee? The affections of _luſt_ and _anger_, yea even to _erre_ is -_naturall_; ſhall we follow theſe? Can ſhee be a good _guide_ to us, -which hath corrupted not us onely but her ſelfe? Was not the _firſt -man_, by the deſire of _knowledge_, corrupted even in the _whiteſt -integrity_ of _Nature_? And did not _Nature_ (if _Nature_ did any -thing) infuſe into him this deſire of _knowledge_, and ſo this -_corruption_ in him, into us? If by _Nature_ wee ſhall underſtand our -_eſſence_, our _definition_, or _reaſon_, _nobleneſſe_, then this -being alike common to all (the _Idiot_ and the _Wizard_ being equally -_reaſonable_) why ſhould not all men having equally all one _nature_, -follow one courſe? Or if we ſhall underſtand our _inclinations_; -alas! how unable a guide is that which followes the _temperature_ of -our ſlimie _bodies_? for we cannot ſay that we derive our -_inclinations_, our _mindes_, or _ſoules_ from our _Parents_ by any -way: to ſay that it is _all from all_, is _error_ in _reaſon_, for -then with the firſt nothing remaines; or is a _part from all_, is -_errour_ in _experience_, for then this _part_ equally imparted to -many children, would like _Gavel-kind lands_, in few generations -become nothing; or to ſay it by _communication_, is _errour_ in -_Divinity_, for to communicate the _ability_ of communicating _whole -eſſence_ with any but God, is utter _blaſphemy_. And if thou hit thy -_Fathers nature_ and _inclination_, he alſo had his _Fathers_, and ſo -climbing up, all comes of one man, and have one _nature_, all ſhall -imbrace one courſe; but that cannot bee, therefore our _complexions_ -and whole _bodies_, wee inherit from _Parents_; our _inclinations_ and -minds follow that: For our minde is heavy in our _bodies afflictions_, -and rejoyceth in our _bodies pleaſure_: how then ſhall this _nature_ -governe us, that is governed by the worſt part of us? _Nature though -oft chaſed away, it will returne_; ’tis true, but thoſe _good motions_ -and _inſpirations_ which be our guides muſt bee _wooed_, _courted_, -and _welcomed_, or elſe they abandon us. And that old _Axiome_, -_nihil invita, &c._ muſt not be ſaid thou _ſhalt_, but thou _wilt_ doe -nothing againſt _Nature_; ſo _unwilling_ he notes us to curbe our -_naturall appetites_. Wee call our _baſtards_ alwayes our _naturall -iſſue_, and we define a _Foole_ by nothing ſo ordinary, as by the name -of _naturall_. And that poore knowledge whereby we conceive what -_raine_ is, what _wind_, what _thunder_, wee call _Metaphyſicke, -ſupernaturall_; ſuch _ſmall_ things, ſuch _no_ things doe we allow to -our pliant _Natures_ apprehenſion. Laſtly, by following her, we loſe -the pleaſant, and lawfull commodities of this life, for wee ſhall -drinke water and eate rootes, and thoſe not ſweet and delicate, as now -by Mans _art_ and _induſtry_ they are made: we ſhall loſe all the -neceſſities of _ſocieties_, _lawes_, _arts_, and _ſciences_, which are -all the workemanſhip of _Man_: yea we ſhall lack the laſt _beſt -refuge_ of miſery, _death_; becauſe _no death is naturall_: for if yee -will not dare to call all _death violent_ (though I ſee not why -_ſickneſſes_ be not _violences_) yet _cauſes_ of all _deaths_ proceed -of the _defect_ of that which _nature_ made perfect, and would -preſerve, and therefore all againſt _nature_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -9. - -_That only Cowards dare dye._ - - -_Extreames_ are equally removed from the _meane_; ſo that headlong -_deſperateneſſe_ aſmuch offends true _valour_, as backward -_Cowardice_: of which ſort I reckon juſtly all _un-inforced deaths_. -When will your _valiant_ man dye of neceſſity? ſo _Cowards_ ſuffer -what cannot be avoided: and to runne into _death unimportun’d_, is to -runne into the firſt condemned deſperateneſſe. Will he dye when he is -_rich_ and _happy_? then by living he may doe more good: and in -_afflictions_ and _miſeries_, _death_ is the choſen refuge of -_Cowards_. - - _Fortiter ille facit, qui miſer eſſe poteſt._ - -But it is taught and practiſed among our _Galants_, that rather than -our reputations ſuffer any _maime_, or we any _miſery_, wee ſhall -offer our _breſts_ to the _Cannons_ mouth, yea to our _ſwords_ points: -And this ſeemes a very _brave_ and a very _climbing_ (which is a -_Cowardly_, earthly, and indeed a very _groveling_) _ſpirit_. Why doe -they _chaine_ theſe ſlaves to the _Gallyes_, but that they thruſt -their _deaths_, and would at every looſe leape into the _ſea_? Why doe -they take weapons from _condemned_ men, but to barre them of that eaſe -which _Cowards_ affect, _a ſpeedy death_. Truely this _life_ is a -_tempeſt_, and a _warfare_, and he which _dares dye_, to eſcape the -_anguiſh_ of it, ſeems to mee, but ſo _valiant_, as hee which dares -_hang_ himſelfe, leſt hee be _preſt_ to the _warres_. I have ſeene one -in that extremity of _melancholy_, which was then become _madneſſe_, -to make his owne _breath_ an _Inſtrument_ to ſtay his breath, and -labour to choake himſelfe, but alas! he was _mad_. And we knew another -that languiſhed under the _oppreſſion_ of a poore _diſgrace_ ſo much, -that hee tooke more _paines to dye_, then would have ſerved to have -nouriſhed _life_ and _ſpirit_ enough to have outlived his _diſgrace_. -What _Foole_ will call this _Cowardlineſſe_, _Valour_? or this -_Baſeneſſe_, _Humility_? And laſtly, of theſe men which dye the -_Allegoricall death_ of entring into _Religion_, how few are found fit -for any ſhew of _valiancy_? but onely a _ſoft_ and _ſupple metall_, -made onely for _Cowardly_ ſolitarineſſe. - - - - -[Decoration] - -10. - -_That a Wiſe Man is knowne by much laughing._ - - -_Ride, ſi ſapis, ô puella ride_; If thou beeſt _wiſe_, _laugh_: for -ſince the _powers_ of _diſcourſe_, _reaſon_, and _laughter_, bee -equally _proper_ unto Man onely, why ſhall not hee be onely moſt -_wiſe_, which hath moſt uſe of _laughing_, aſwell as he which hath -moſt of _reaſoning_ and _diſcourſing_? I alwaies did, and ſhall -underſtand that _Adage_; - - _Per riſum multum poſſis cognoſcere ſtultum_, - -That by much _laughing_ thou maiſt know there is a _foole_, not, that -the _laughers_ are _fooles_, but that among them there is ſome -_foole_, at whome _wiſemen_ laugh: which moved _Eraſmus_ to put this -as his firſt _Argument_ in the mouth of his _Folly_, that _ſhee made -Beholders laugh_: for _fooles_ are the moſt laughed at, and laugh the -leaſt themſelves of any. And _Nature_ ſaw this _faculty_ to bee ſo -neceſſary in man, that ſhee hath beene content that by _more cauſes_ -we ſhould be importuned to _laugh_, then to the _exerciſe_ of any -other _power_; for things in themſelves utterly _contrary_, beget this -effect; for wee laugh both at _witty_ and _abſurd_ things: At both -which ſorts I have ſeen Men _laugh ſo long_, and _ſo earneſtly_, that -at laſt they have _wept_ that they could laugh no more. And therfore -the _Poet_ having deſcribed the quietneſſe of a _wiſe retired man_, -ſaith in one, what we have ſaid before in many lines; _Quid facit -Canius tuus? ridet_. We have received that even the _extremity_ of -_laughing_, yea of _weeping_ alſo, hath beene accounted _wiſedome_: -And that _Democritus_ and _Heraclitus_, the _lovers_ of theſe -_Extremes_, have been called _lovers of wiſedome_. Now among our -_wiſemen_ I doubt not, but many would be found who would laugh at -_Heraclitus_ weeping, none which weepe at _Democritus_ laughing. At -the hearing of _Comedies_ or other witty reports, I have noted ſome, -which not underſtanding _jeſts_, &c. have yet choſen this as the beſt -meanes to ſeeme _wiſe_ and _underſtanding_, to laugh when their -_Companions laugh_; and I have preſumed them _ignorant_, whom I have -ſeene _unmoved_. A _foole_ if he come into a _Princes Court_, and ſee -a _gay_ man leaning at the wall, ſo _gliſtering_, and ſo _painted_ in -many _colours_ that he is hardly diſcerned from one of the _pictures_ -in the _Arras_, hanging his _body_ like an _Iron-bound-cheſt_, girt in -and thicke ribb’d with _broad gold laces_, may (and commonly doth) -envy him. But alas! ſhall a _wiſeman_, which may not onely not _envy_, -but not _pitty_ this _monſter_, do nothing? Yes, let him _laugh_. And -if one of theſe _hot cholerike firebrands_, which nouriſh themſelves -by _quarrelling_, and kindling others, ſpit upon a _foole_ one -_ſparke_ of _diſgrace_, he, like a _thatcht houſe_ quickly burning, -may bee _angry_; but the _wiſeman_, as _cold_ as the _Salamander_, may -not onely not be _angry_ with him, but not be _ſorry_ for him; -therefore let him _laugh_: ſo he ſhall be knowne a Man, becauſe he can -_laugh_, a _wiſe Man_ that hee knowes at _what_ to laugh, and a -_valiant Man_ that he _dares_ laugh: for he that _laughs_ is juſtly -reputed more _wiſe_, then at whom it is _laughed_. And hence I thinke -proceeds that which in theſe later _formall_ times I have much noted; -that now when our _ſuperſtitious civility_ of _manners_ is become a -mutuall _tickling flattery_ of one another, almoſt every man affecteth -an _humour_ of _jeſting_, and is content to be _deject_, and to -_deforme_ himſelfe, yea become _foole_ to no other _end_ that I can -ſpie, but to give his _wiſe Companion_ occaſion to _laugh_: and to -ſhew themſelves in _promptneſſe_ of _laughing_ is ſo great in -_wiſemen_, that I thinke all _wiſemen_, if any _wiſeman_ do reade this -_Paradox_, will _laugh_ both at it and me. - - - - -[Decoration] - -11. - -_That the gifts of the Body are better then thoſe of the Minde._ - - -I ſay againe, that the _body_ makes the _minde_, not that it created -it a _minde_, but _formes_ it a _good_ or a _bad mind_; and this -_minde_ may be confounded with _ſoule_ without any violence or -injuſtice to _Reaſon_ or _Philoſophy_: then the _ſoule_ it ſeemes is -enabled by our _body_, not this by it. My _Body_ licenſeth my _ſoule_ -to _ſee_ the Worlds _beauties_ through mine _eyes_; to _heare_ -pleaſant things through mine _eares_; and affords it apt _Organs_ for -the conveiance of all perceivable _delight_. But alas! my _ſoule_ -cannot make any _part_, that is not of it ſelfe diſpoſed, to _ſee_ or -_heare_, though without doubt ſhe be as able and as willing to ſee -_behind_ as _before_. Now if my _ſoule_ would ſay, that ſhee enables -any part to taſte theſe pleaſures, but is her ſelfe onely delighted -with thoſe rich _ſweetneſſes_ which her _inward eyes_ and _ſenſes_ -apprehend, ſhee ſhould diſſemble; for I ſee her often ſolaced with -_beauties_, which ſhee ſees through mine _eyes_, and with _muſicke_ -which through mine _eares_ ſhe heares. This _perfection_ then my -_body_ hath, that it can impart to my _minde_ all his _pleaſures_; and -my _minde_ hath ſtill many, that ſhe can neither teach my _indiſpoſed_ -part her _faculties_, nor to the beſt _eſpouſed_ parts ſhew it -_beauty_ of _Angels_, of _Muſicke_, of _Spheres_, whereof ſhe boaſts -the _contemplation_. Are _chaſtity_, _temperance_, and _fortitude_ -gifts of the _mind_? I appeale to _Phyſitians_ whether the _cauſe_ of -theſe be not in the _body_, _health_ is the gift of the _body_, and -_patience_ in ſickeneſſe the gift of the _minde_: then who will ſay -that _patience_ is as good a happineſſe, as _health_, when wee muſt be -extremely _miſerable_ to purchaſe this _happineſſe_. And for -nouriſhing of _civill ſocieties_ and _mutuall love_ amongſt men, which -is our _chiefe end_ while wee are men; I ſay, this _beauty_, -_preſence_, and _proportion_ of the _body_, hath a more _maſculine_ -force in begetting this _love_, then the _vertues_ of the _minde_: for -it ſtrikes us _ſuddenly_, and poſſeſſeth us _immoderately_; when to -know thoſe _vertues_ requires ſome _Iudgement_ in him which ſhall -diſcerne, a _long time_ and _converſation_ betweene them. And even at -_laſt_ how much of our _faith_ and _beleefe_ ſhall we be driven to -beſtow, to aſſure our ſelves that theſe _vertues_ are not -_counterfeited_: for it is the ſame to _be_, and _ſeeme vertuous_, -becauſe that he that hath _no vertue_, can _diſſemble_ none, but he -which hath a _little_, may _gild_ and _enamell_, yea and transforme -much _vice_ into _vertue_: For allow a man to be _diſcreet_ and -_flexible_ to _complaints_, which are great _vertuous_ gifts of the -_minde_, this _diſcretion_ will be to him the _ſoule_ & _Elixir_ of -all _vertues_, ſo that touched with this, even _pride_ ſhal be made -_humility_; and _Cowardice_, honourable and wiſe _valour_. But in -things _ſeene_ there is not this danger, for the _body_ which thou -loveſt and eſteemeſt _faire_, is _faire_; certainely if it bee not -_faire_ in _perfection_, yet it is _faire_ in the ſame _degree_ that -thy _Iudgement_ is good. And in a _faire body_, I doe ſeldome ſuſpect -a _diſproportioned minde_, and as ſeldome hope for a _good_ in a -_deformed_. When I ſee a _goodly houſe_, I aſſure my ſelfe of a -_worthy poſſeſſour_, from a _ruinous weather-beaten building_ I turn -away, becauſe it ſeems either ſtuffed with _varlets_ as a _Priſon_, or -handled by an _unworthy_ and _negligent tenant_, that ſo ſuffers the -_waſte_ thereof. And truely the gifts of _Fortune_, which are -_riches_, are onely _handmaids_, yea _Pandars_ of the _bodies -pleaſure_; with their ſervice we nouriſh _health_, and preſerve -_dainty_, and wee buy _delights_; ſo that _vertue_ which muſt be loved -for _it ſelfe_, and reſpects no further _end_, is indeed _nothing_: -And _riches_, whoſe _end_ is the _good_ of the _body_, cannot be ſo -_perfectly good_, as the _end_ whereto it levels. - - - - -[Decoration] - -12. - -_That Virginity is a Vertue._ - - -I call not that _Virginity a vertue_, which reſideth only in the -_Bodies integrity_; much leſſe if it be with a purpoſe of perpetuall -keeping it: for then it is a moſt inhumane vice—But I call that -_Virginity a vertue_ which is willing and deſirous to yeeld itſelfe -upon honeſt and lawfull termes, when juſt reaſon requireth; and untill -then, is kept with a modeſt chaſtity of Body and Mind. Some perchance -will say that _Virginity_ is in us by _Nature_, and therefore no -_vertue_. True, as it is in us by _Nature_, it is neither a _Vertue_ -nor _Vice_, and is onely in the body: (as in Infants, Children, and -such as are incapable of parting from it). But that _Virginity_ which -is in Man or Woman of perfect age, is not in them by _Nature_: -_Nature_ is the greateſt enemy to it, and with moſt ſubtile -allurements ſeeks the over-throw of it, continually beating againſt it -with her _Engines_, and giving ſuch forcible aſſaults to it, that it -is a ſtrong and more then ordinary _vertue_ to hold out till marriage. -_Ethick_ Philoſophy ſaith, _That no Vertue is corrupted, or is taken -away by that which is good_: Hereupon ſome may ſay, that _Virginity_ -is therefore no vertue, being taken away by marriage. _Virginity_ is -no otherwiſe taken away by marriage, then is the light of the ſtarres -by a greater light (the light of the Sun:) or as a leſſe Title is -taken away by a greater: (an Eſquire by being created an Earle) yet -_Virginity_ is a _vertue_, and hath her Throne in the middle: The -extreams are, in _Exceſſe_; to violate it before marriage; in defect, -not to marry. In ripe years as ſoon as reaſon perſwades, and -opportunity admits, Theſe extreams are equally removed from the mean: -The exceſſe proceeds from _Luſt_, the defect from _Peeviſhneſſe_, -_Pride_ and _Stupidity_. There is an old Proverb, That, _they that dy -maids, muſt lead Apes in Hell_. An Ape is a ridiculous and -unprofitable Beaſt, whoſe fleſh is not good for meat, nor its back for -burden, nor is it commodious to keep an houſe: and perchance for the -unprofitableneſſe of this Beaſt did this proverb come up: For surely -nothing is more unprofitable in the Commonwealth of _Nature_, then -they that dy old maids, becauſe they refuſe to be uſed to that end -for which they were only made. The Ape bringeth forth her young, for -the moſt part by twins; that which ſhe loves beſt, ſhe killeth by -preſſing it too hard: so fooliſh maids ſoothing themſelves with a -falſe conceit of _vertue_, in fond obſtinacie, live and die maids; and -ſo not only kill in themſelves the _vertue_ of _Virginity_, and of a -Vertue make it a Vice, but they also accuſe their parents in -condemning marriage. If this application hold not touch, yet there may -be an excellent one gathered from an Apes tender love to Conies in -keeping them from the Weaſel and Ferret. From this ſimilitude of an -Ape & an old Maid did the aforeſaid proverb firſt ariſe. But alas, -there are ſome old Maids that are _Virgins_ much againſt their wills, -and fain would change their _Virgin-life_ for a _Married_: ſuch if -they never have had any offer of fit Huſbands, are in ſome ſort -excuſable, and their willingneſſe, their deſire to marry, and their -forbearance from all diſhoneſt, and unlawful copulation, may be a kind -of inclination to _vertue_, although not _Vertue_ it ſelfe. This -_Virtue_ of _Virginity_ (though it be ſmall and fruitleſſe) it is an -extraordinary, and no common _Vertue_. All other _Vertues_ lodge in -the _Will_ (it is the _Will_ that makes them _vertues_.) But it is the -unwillingneſſe to keep it, the deſire to forſake it, that makes this a -_vertue_. As in the naturall generation and formation made of the ſeed -in the womb of a woman, the body is joynted and organized about the 28 -day, and so it begins to be no more an _Embrion_, but capable as a -matter prepared to its form to receive the ſoule, which faileth not to -inſinuate and inneſt it ſelfe into the body about the fortieth day; -about the third month it hath motion and ſenſe: Even ſo _Virginity_ is -an _Embrion_, an unfaſhioned lump, till it attain to a certain time, -which is about twelve years of age in women, fourteen in men, and then -it beginneth to have the ſoule of _Love_ infuſed into it, and to -become a _vertue_: There is alſo a certain limited time when it -ceaſeth to be a _vertue_, which in men is about fourty, in women about -thirty years of age: yea, the loſſe of ſo much time makes their -_Virginity_ a _Vice_, were not their endeavour wholly bent, and their -deſires altogether fixt upon marriage: In Harveſt time do we not -account it a great vice of ſloath and negligence in a Huſband-man, to -overſlip a week or ten dayes after his fruits are fully ripe; May we -not much more account it a more heynous vice, for a _Virgin_ to let -her Fruit (_in potentia_) conſume and rot to nothing, and to let the -_vertue_ of her _Virginity_ degenerate into _Vice_, (for _Virginity_ -ever kept is ever loſt.) Avarice is the greateſt deadly ſin next -Pride: it takes more pleaſure in hoording Treaſure then in making uſe -of it, and will neither let the poſſeſſor nor others take benefit by -it during the Miſers life; yet it remains intire, and when the Miſer -dies muſt come to ſom body. _Virginity_ ever kept, is a vice far worſe -then Avarice, it will neither let the poſſeſſor nor others take -benefit by it, nor can it be bequeathed to any: with long keeping it -decayes and withers, and becomes corrupt and nothing worth. Thus -ſeeing that _Virginity_ becomes a vice in defect, by exceeding a -limited time; I counſell all female _Virgins_ to make choyce of ſome -_Paracelſian_ for their Phyſitian, to prevent the death of that -_Vertue_: The _Paracelſians_ (curing like by like) ſay, That if the -lives of living Creatures could be taken down, they would make us -immortall. By this rule, female _Virgins_ by a diſcreet marriage -ſhould ſwallow down into their _Virginity_ another _Virginity_, and -devour ſuch a life & ſpirit into their womb, that it might make them -as it were, immortall here on earth, beſides their perfect -immortality in heaven: And that _Vertue_ which otherwiſe would -putrifie and corrupt, ſhall then be compleat; and ſhall be recorded in -Heaven, and enrolled here on Earth; and the name of _Virgin_ ſhall be -exchanged for a far more honorable name, _A Wife_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -PROBLEMES - - - - -1. - -_Why have Baſtards beſt Fortune?_ - - -Becauſe _Fortune_ herſelfe is a _Whore_, but ſuch are not moſt -indulgent to their _iſſue_; the old naturall reaſon (but thoſe -meetings in _ſtolne love_ are moſt _vehement_, and ſo contribute more -_ſpirit_ then the _eaſie_ and _lawfull_) might governe me, but that -now I ſee _Miſtreſſes_ are become _domeſtike_ and _inordinary_, and -they and wives _waite_ but by _turnes_, and _agree_ aſwell as they had -_lived_ in the _Arke_. The old Morall reaſon (that _Baſtards_ inherit -_wickedneſſe_ from their _Parents_, and ſo are in a better way to -_preferment_ by having a _ſtocke_ before-hand, then thoſe that build -all their _fortune_ upon the _poore_ and _weake_ ſtocke of _Originall -ſinne_) might prevaile with me, but that ſince wee are fallen into -ſuch times, as now the _world_ might _ſpare_ the _Divell_, because -_ſhe_ could be bad enough without _him_. I ſee men _ſcorne_ to be -_wicked_ by _example_, or to bee _beholding_ to others for their -_damnation_. It ſeems reaſonable, that ſince _Lawes_ rob them of -_ſucceſſion_ in _civill benefits_, they ſhould have ſomething elſe -_equivalent_. As _Nature_ (which is _Lawes patterne_) having denyed -Women _Conſtancy_ to _one_, hath provided them with _cunning_ to -allure _many_; and ſo _Baſtards_ _de jure_ ſhould have better _wits_ -and _experience_. But beſides that by _experience_ wee ſee many -_fooles_ amongſt them, wee ſhould take from them one of their chiefeſt -helpes to _preferment_, and we ſhould deny them to be _fools_, and -(that which is onely left) that _Women_ chuſe _worthier_ men then -their _husbands_, is falſe _de facto_; either then it muſt bee that -the _Church_ having removed them from all place in the _publike -Service_ of _God_, they have better meanes then others to be _wicked_, -and ſo _fortunate_: Or elſe becauſe the two _greateſt powers_ in this -_world_, the _Divell_ and _Princes_ concurre to their _greatneſſe_; -the one giving _baſtardy_, the other _legitimation_: As _nature_ -frames and conſerves great _bodies_ of _contraries_. Or the cauſe is, -becauſe they abound moſt at _Court_, which is the _forge_ where -_fortunes_ are made, or at leaſt the _ſhop_ where they be _ſold_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -2. - -_Why Puritanes make long Sermons?_ - - -It needs not _perſpicuouſneſſe_, for God knowes they are plain -enough: nor doe all of them uſe _Sem-briefe-Accents_ for ſome -of them have _crotchets_ enough. It may bee they intend not -to riſe like _glorious Tapers_ and _Torches_, but like -_Thinne-wretched-ſicke-watching-Candles_, which _languiſh_ and are in -a Divine _Conſumption_ from the firſt minute, yea in their _ſnuffe_, -and _ſtink_ when others are in their more profitable _glory_. I have -thought ſometimes, that out of _conſcience_, they allow _long meaſure_ -to _courſe ware_. And ſometimes, that _uſurping_ in that place a -_liberty_ to _ſpeak freely_ of _Kings_, they would _raigne_ as long as -they could. But now I thinke they doe it out of a _zealous_ -imagination, that, _It is their duty to preach on till their Auditory -wake_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -3. - -_Why did the Divel reſerve Jeſuites till theſe latter dayes._ - - -Did he know that our _Age_ would deny the _Devils poſſeſſing_, and -therfore provided by theſe to _poſſeſſe_ men and kingdomes? Or to end -the _diſputation_ of _Schoolemen_, why the _Divell_ could not make -_lice_ in _Egypt_; and whether thoſe things hee _preſented_ there, -might be _true_, hath he ſent us a _true_ and _reall plague_, worſe -than thoſe _ten_? Or in _oſtentation_ of the _greatneſſe_ of his -_Kingdome_, which even _diviſion_ cannot _ſhake_, doth he ſend us -theſe which _diſagree_ with all the reſt? Or knowing that our _times_ -ſhould diſcover the _Indies_, and aboliſh their _Idolatry_, doth he -ſend theſe to give them _another_ for it? Or peradventure they have -beene in the _Roman Church_ theſe _thouſand yeeres_, though we have -called them by _other names_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -4. - -_Why is there more variety of Green then of other Colours?_ - - -It is becauſe it is the figure of _Youth_ wherin _nature_ wuld provide -as many _green_, as _youth_ hath _affections_; and ſo preſent a -_Sea-green_ for _profuſe waſters_ in _voyages_; a _Graſſe-green_ for -ſudden _new men enobled_ from _Graſiers_; and a _Gooſe-greene_ for -ſuch _Polititians_ as pretend to preſerve the _Capitol_. Or elſe -_Prophetically_ foreſeeing an _age_, wherein they ſhall all _hunt_. -And for ſuch as _miſdemeane_ themſelves a _Willow-greene_; For -_Magiſtrates_ muſt aſwell have _Faſces_ born before them to _chaſtize_ -the _ſmall_ offences, as _Secures_ to _cut off_ the _great_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -5. - -_Why doe young Lay-men ſo much ſtudy Divinity._ - - -Is it becauſe others tending buſily _Churches preferment_ neglect -_ſtudy_? Or had the _Church_ of _Rome_ ſhut up all our wayes, till the -_Lutherans_ broke downe their _uttermoſt ſtubborne doores_, and the -_Calviniſts_ picked their _inwardeſt_ and _ſubtleſt lockes_? Surely -the _Devill_ cannot be ſuch a _Foole_ to hope that he ſhall make this -ſtudy _contemptible_, by making it _common_. Nor that as the -_Dwellers_ by the River _Origus_ are ſaid (by drawing infinite -_ditches_ to ſprinkle their _barren Country_) to have exhauſted and -intercepted their _maine channell_, and ſo loſt their more profitable -courſe to the _ſea_; ſo we, by providing every _ones ſelfe, divinity_ -enough for his _own uſe_, ſhould neglect our _Teachers_ and _Fathers_. -Hee cannot hope for better _hereſies_ then hee hath had, nor was his -_Kingdome_ ever ſo much advanced by _debating Religion_ (though with -ſome _aſperſions_ of _Error_) as by a _dull_ and _ſtupid ſecurity_, in -which many _groſe things_ are ſwallowed. Poſſible out of ſuch an -_ambition_ as we have now, to ſpeake _plainely_ and _fellow-like_ with -_Lords_ and _Kings_, wee thinke alſo to acquaint our ſelves with _Gods -ſecrets_: Or perchance when we ſtudy it by _mingling humane_ reſpects, -_It is not Divinity_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -6. - -_Why hath the common Opinion afforded Women Soules?_ - - -It is agreed that wee have not ſo much from them as any _part_ of -either our _mortall ſoules_ of _ſenſe_, or _growth_, and we deny -_ſoules_ to others equal to them in all but in _ſpeech_ for which they -are beholding to their _bodily inſtruments_: For perchance an _Oxes_ -heart, or a _Goates_, or a _Foxes_, or a _Serpents_ would ſpeake juſt -ſo, if it were in the _breaſt_, and could move that _tongue_ and -_jawes_. Have they ſo many _advantages_ and _meanes_ to hurt us (for, -ever their _loving_ deſtroyed us) that we dare not _diſpleaſe_ them, -but give them what they will? And ſo when ſome call them _Angels_, -ſome _Goddeſſes_, and the _Palpulian Heretikes_ made them _Biſhops_, -wee deſcend ſo much with the ſtreame, to allow them _ſoules_? Or doe -we ſomewhat (in this dignifying of them) flatter _Princes_ and _great -Perſonages_ that are ſo much governed by them? Or do we in that -_eaſineſſe_ and _prodigality_, wherein we daily loſe our owne _ſoules_ -to we care not whom, ſo labour to perſwade our ſelves, that ſith a -_woman_ hath a _ſoule_, a _ſoule_ is no great matter? Or doe wee lend -them _ſoules_ but for _uſe_, ſince they for our ſakes, give their -_ſoules_ againe, and their _bodies_ to boote? Or perchance becauſe the -_Deuill_ (who is all _ſoule_) doth moſt _miſchiefe_, and for -_convenience_ and _proportion_, becauſe they would come neerer him, -wee allow them ſome ſoules; and ſo as the _Romanes_ naturalized ſome -_Provinces_ in revenge, and made them _Romans_, onely for the -_burthen_ of the _Common-wealth_; ſo we have given _women_ ſoules -onely to make them capable of _damnation_? - - - - -[Decoration] - -7. - -_Why are the Faireſt, Falſeſt?_ - - -I meane not of falſe _Alchimy Beauty_, for then the _queſtion_ ſhould -be inverted, _Why are the Falſeſt, Faireſt_? It is not onely becauſe -they are _much ſolicited_ and _ſought_ for, ſo is _gold_, yet it is -not ſo _common_; and this _ſuite_ to them, ſhould teach them their -_value_, and make them more _reſerved_. Nor is it becauſe the -_delicateſt blood_ hath the _beſt ſpirits_, for what is that to the -fleſh? perchance ſuch _conſtitutions_ have the _beſt wits_, and there -is no _proportionable ſubject_, for _Womens wit_, but deceipt? doth -the _minde_ ſo follow the _temperature_ of the _body_, that becauſe -thoſe _complexions_ are apteſt to change, the _mind_ is therefore ſo? -Or as _Bells_ of the _pureſt metall_ retaine their _tinkling_ and -_ſound_ largeſt; ſo the _memory_ of the laſt _pleaſure_ laſts longer -in theſe, and diſpoſeth them to the next. But ſure it is not in the -_complexion_, for thoſe that doe but thinke themſelves _faire_, are -preſently inclined to this _multiplicity_ of _loves_, which being but -_faire in conceipt_ are _falſe in deed_: and ſo perchance when they -are _borne_ to this _beauty_, or have _made_ it, or have dream’d it, -they eaſily believe all _addreſſes_ and _applications_ of every _man_, -out of a _ſenſe_ of their own _worthineſſ_ to be directed to them, -which others _leſſ worthy_ in their own thoughts apprehend not, or -diſcredit. But I think the _true reaſon_ is, that being like _gold_ in -many properties (as that _all ſnatch_ at them, but the _worſt poſſeſſ_ -them, that they care not how deep we dig for them, and that by the Law -of nature, _Occupandi conceditur_) they would be like alſo in this, -that as Gold to make it ſelf of uſe admits allay, ſo they, that they -may be tractable, mutable, and currant, have to allay _Falſhood_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -8. - -_Why Venus-ſtar only doth caſt a ſhadow?_ - - -Is it becauſe it is nearer the earth? But they whoſe profeſſion it is -to ſee that nothing be done in heaven without their conſent (as _Re_ — -ſays in himſelf of _Aſtrologers_) have bid _Mercury_ to be nearer. Is -it becauſe the works of _Venus_ want ſhadowing, covering and -dignifying? But thoſe of _Mercury_ need it more; For Eloquence, his -occupation, is all ſhadow and colours; let our life be a ſea, and then -our reaſons and even paſſions are wide enough to carry us whether we -ſhould go, but Eloquence is a ſtorm and tempeſt that miſcarries: and -who doubts that Eloquence which muſt perſwade people to take a yoke of -ſoveraignty (and then beg and make Laws to tye them faſter, and then -give money to the invention, repair and ſtrengthen it) needs more -ſhadows and coloring, then to perſwade any man or woman to that which -is natural. And _Venus_ markets are ſo natural, that when we ſolicite -the beſt way (which is by _marriage_) our perſwaſions work not ſo much -to draw a woman to us, as againſt her nature to draw her from all -other beſides. And ſo when we go againſt nature, and from _Venus-work_ -(for marriage is chaſtitie) we need ſhadowes and colours, but not -elſe. In _Seneca’s_ time, it was a courſe, an un-_Roman_ and a -contemptible thing even in a _Matron_, not to have had a _Love_ beſide -her huſband, which though the Law required not at their hands, yet -they did it _zealouſly_ out of the Council of Cuſtom and faſhion, -which was _venery_ of _ſupererrogation_: - - _Et te ſpectator pluſquam delectat Adulter_, - -saith _Martial_: And _Horace_, becauſe many lights would not ſhew him -enough, created many _Images_ of the ſame Object by wainſcoting his -chamber with looking-glaſſes: ſo that _Venus_ flies not light, as much -as _Mercury_, who creeping into our underſtanding, our darkneſs would -be defeated, if he were perceived. Then either this _ſhadow_ -confeſſeth that ſame dark Melancholy Repentance which accompanies; or -that ſo violent fires, needs ſome ſhadowy refreſhing and -intermiſſion: Or elſe light ſignifying both day and youth, and ſhadow -both night and age, ſhe pronounceth by this that ſhe profeſſeth both -all perſons and times. - - - - -[Decoration] - -9. - -_Why is Venus-ſtar multinominous, called both =Heſperus= and -=Veſper=._ - - -The Moon hath as many names, but not as ſhe is a ſtar, but as ſhe hath -divers governments; but _Venus_ is _multinominous_ to give example to -her _proſtitute diſciples_, who ſo often, either to renew or refreſh -themſelves towards lovers, or to diſguiſe themſelves from -_Magiſtrates_, are to take new names. It may be ſhe takes new names -after her many functions, for as ſhe is ſupream Monarch of all Suns at -large (which is _luſt_) ſo is ſhe joyned in Commiſſion with all -_Mythologicks_, with _Juno_, _Diana_, and all others for marriage. It -may be becauſe of the divers names to her ſelf, for her affections -have more names than any vice: _ſcilicet_, _Pollution_, _Fornication_, -_Adultery_, _Lay-Inceſt_, _Church-Inceſt_, _Rape_, _Sodomy_, -_Maſtupration_, _Maſturbation_, and a thouſand others. Perchance her -divers names ſhewed her appliableneſs to divers men, for _Neptune_ -diſtilled and wet her in love, the Sun warms and melts her, _Mercury_ -perſwaded and ſwore her, _Jupiters_ authority ſecured, and _Vulcan_ -hammer’d her. As _Heſperus_ ſhe preſents you with her _bonum utile_, -becauſe it is wholeſomeſt in the morning: As _Veſper_ with her _bonum -delectabile_, becauſe it is pleaſanteſt in the evening. And becauſe -induſtrious men riſe and endure with the Sun in their civil -buſineſſes, this Star caſts them up a little before, and remembers -them again a little after for her buſineſs; for certainly, - - _Venit Heſperus, ite capellae_: - -was ſpoken to Lovers in the perſons of _Goats_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -10. - -_Why are New Officers leaſt oppreſſing?_ - - -Muſt the old Proverbe, that _Old dogs bite ſorest_, be true in all -kinde of _dogs_? Me thinkes the freſh _memory_ they have of the _mony_ -they parted with for the _place_, ſhould haſten them for the -_re-imburſing_: And perchance they doe but ſeeme eaſier to their -_ſuiters_; who (as all other _Patients_) doe account all change of -paine, eaſie. But if it bee ſo, it is either becauſe the ſodain -_ſenſe_ & _contentment_ of the _honor_ of the _place_, retards and -remits the rage of their _profits_, and ſo having ſtayed their -_ſtomackes_, they can forbeare the ſecond _courſe_ a while: Or having -overcome the _ſteepest_ part of the _hill_, and clambered above -_Competitions_ and _Oppoſitions_ they dare loyter, and take breath: -Perchance being come from _places_, where they taſted _no gaine_, a -_little_ ſeems _much_ to them at firſt, for it is _long before a -Christian conſcience overtakes, or straies into an Officers heart_. It -may be that out of the _generall diſeaſe_ of all men not to love the -_memory_ of a _predeceſſor_, they ſeeke to diſgrace them by ſuch -_eaſineſſe_, and make good _firſt impreſſions_, that ſo having drawen -much _water_ to their _Mill_, they may afterward _grind_ at eaſe: For -if from the rules of good _Horſe-manſhip_, they thought it wholeſome -to _jet_ out in a moderate _pace_, they ſhould alſo take up towards -their _journeys_ end, not mend their pace continually, and _gallop_ to -their _Innes-doore_, the _grave_; except perchance their _conſcience_ -at that time ſo touch them, that they thinke it an _injury_ and -_damage_ both to him that muſt _ſell_, and to him that muſt _buy_ the -_Office_ after their _death_, and a kind of _dilapidation_ if they by -continuing _honeſt_ ſhould diſcredit the _place_, and bring it to a -_lower-rent_, or _under-value_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -11. - -_Why does the Poxe ſo much affect to undermine the Noſe?_ - - -_Paracelſus_ perchance ſaith true, That every Diſeaſe hath his -exaltation in ſome part certaine. But why this in the Noſe? Is there -ſo much mercy in this diſeaſe, that it provides that one ſhould not -ſmell his own ſtinck? Or hath it but the common fortune, that being -begot and bred in obſcureſt and ſecreteſt places, becauſe therefore -his ſerpentine crawling and inſinuation ſhould not be ſuſpected, nor -ſeen, he comes ſooneſt into great place, and is more able to deſtroy -the worthieſt member, then a diſeaſe better born? Perchance as mice -defeat Elephants by knawing their _Proboſcis_, which is their Noſe, -this wretched Indian Vermine practiſeth to doe the ſame upon us. Or as -the ancient furious Cuſtome and Connivency of ſome Lawes, that one -might cut off their Noſe whome he deprehended in Adulterie, was but a -Tipe of this; And that now more charitable lawes having taken away all -Revenge from particular hands, this common Magiſtrate and Executioner -is come to do the ſame office inviſibly? Or by withdrawing this -conſpicuous part, the Noſe, it warnes us from all adventuring upon -that Coaſt; for it is as good a mark to take in a flag as to hang one -out. Poſſibly heate, which is more potent and active then cold, -thought her ſelfe injured, and the Harmony of the world out of tune, -when cold was able to ſhew the high-way to Noses in _Muscovia_, except -ſhe found the meanes to doe the ſame in other Countries. Or becauſe by -the conſent of all, there is an Analogy, Proportion, and affection -between the Noſe and that part where this diſeaſe is firſt contracted, -and therefore _Heliogabalus_ choſe not his Minions in the Bath but by -the Noſe: And _Albertus_ had a knaviſh meaning when he preferd great -Noſes; And the licentious Poet was _Naſo Poeta_. I think this reaſon -is neareſt truth, That the Noſe is moſt compaſſionate with this part: -Except this be nearer, that it is reaſonable that this Diſeaſe in -particular ſhould affect the moſt eminent and perſpicuous part, which -in general doth affect to take hold of the moſt eminent and -conſpicuous men. - - - - -[Decoration] - -12. - -_Why die none for Love now?_ - - -Becauſe women are become eaſyer. Or becauſe theſe later times have -provided mankind of more new means for the deſtroying of themſelves -and one another, _Pox_, _Gunpowder_, _Young marriages_, and -_Controverſies_ in _Religion_. Or is there in true Hiſtory no -Precedent or Example of it? Or perchance ſome die ſo, but are not -therefore worthy the remembring or ſpeaking of? - - - - -[Decoration] - -13. - -_Why do Women delight much in Feathers?_ - - -They think that Feathers imitate wings, and ſo ſhew their reſtleſſneſs -and inſtability. As they are in matter, ſo they would be in name, like -_Embroiderers_, _Painters_, and ſuch _Artificers_ of curious -_vanities_, which the vulgar call _Pluminaries_. Or elſe they have -feathers for the ſame reaſon, which moves them to love the unworthieſt -men, which is, that they may be thereby excuſable in their inconſtancy -and often changing. - - - - -[Decoration] - -14. - -_Why doth not Gold ſoyl the fingers?_ - - -Doth it direct all the venom to the heart? Or is it becauſe bribing -ſhould not be diſcovered? Or becauſe that ſhould pay purely, for which -pure things are given, as _Love_, _Honor_, _Justice_ and Heaven? Or -doth it ſeldom come into innocent hands but into ſuch as for former -foulneſs you cannot diſcern this? - - - - -[Decoration] - -15. - -_Why do great men of all dependants, chuſe to preſerve their little -Pimps?_ - - -It is not becauſe they are got neareſt their ſecrets, for they whom -they bring come nearer. Nor commonly becauſe they and their bawds have -lain in one belly, for then they ſhould love their brothers aſwel. Nor -becauſe they are witneſſes of their weakneſs, for they are weak ones. -Either it is becauſe they have a double hold and obligation upon their -maſters for providing them ſurgery and remedy after, aſwel as pleaſure -before, and bringing them always ſuch ſtuff, as they ſhal always need -their ſervice? Or becauſe they may be received and entertained every -where, and Lords fling off none but they ſuch as they may deſtroy by -it. Or perchance we deceive our ſelves, and every Lord having many, -and, of neceſſity, ſome riſing, we mark only theſe. - - - - -[Decoration] - -16. - -_Why are Courtiers ſooner Atheiſts then men of other conditions?_ - - -Is it becauſe as _Phyſitians_ contemplating Nature, and finding many -abſtruſe things ſubject to the ſearch of Reaſon, thinks therefore that -all is ſo; so they (ſeeing mens deſtinies, mad at Court, neck out and -in joynt there, _War_, _Peace_, _Life_ and _Death_ derived from -thence) climb no higher? Or doth a familiarity with greatneſs, and -daily converſation and acquaintance with it breed a contempt of all -greatneſs? Or becauſe that they ſee that opinion or need of one -another, and fear makes the degrees of ſervants, Lords and Kings, do -they think that God likewiſe for ſuch Reaſon hath been mans Creator? -Perchance it is becauſe they ſee Vice proſper beſt there, and, -burthened with ſinne, doe they not, for their eaſe, endeavour to put -off the feare and Knowledge of God, as facinorous men deny -Magiſtracy? Or are the moſt Atheiſts in that place, becauſe it is the -foole that ſaid in his heart, There is no God. - - - - -[Decoration] - -17. - -_Why are ſtateſmen moſt incredulous?_ - - -Are they all wiſe enough to follow their excellent pattern _Tiberius_, -who brought the ſenate to be diligent and induſtrious to believe him, -were it never so oppoſite or diametricall, that it deſtroyed their -very ends to be believed, as _Aſinius Gallus_ had almoſt deceived this -man by believing him, and the Major and Aldermen of _London_ in -_Richard_ the Third? Or are buſineſſes (about which theſe men are -converſant) ſo conjecturall, ſo ſubject to unſuſpected interventions -that they are therefore forc’d to ſpeak oraculouſly, whiſperingly, -generally, and therefore eſcapingly, in the language of -Almanack-makers for weather? Or are thoſe (as they call them) _Arcana -imperii_, as by whom the Prince provokes his luſt, and by whom he -vents it, of what Cloath his ſocks are, and ſuch, ſo deep, and ſo -irreveald, as any error in them is inexcuſable? If theſe were the -reaſons, they would not only ſerve for ſtate-buſineſs. But why will -they not tell true, what a Clock it is, and what weather, but abſtain -from truth of it, if it conduce not to their ends, as Witches will not -name Jeſus, though it be in a curſe? eithere they know little out of -their own Elements, or a Cuſtom in one matter begets an habite in all. -Or the lower ſort imitate Lords, they their Princes, theſe their -Prince. Or elſe they believe one another, and ſo never hear truth. Or -they abſtain from the little Channel of truth, leaſt, at laſt, they -ſhould _finde the fountain it ſelf, God_. - - - - -[Decoration] - -18. - -_Why was Sir Walter Raleigh thought the fitteſt Man, to write the -Hiſtorie of theſe Times?_ - - -Was it becauſe that being told at his Arraignement, that a Witneſs -accuſing himſelf had the ſtrength of two; he may ſeem by Writing the -ills of his own Time to be believed? Or is it, becauſe he might -reenjoy thoſe Times by the Meditation of them? Or becauſe if he ſhould -undertake higher Times, he doth not think, that he can come nearer to -the Beginning of the World? Or becauſe like a Bird in a Cage, he takes -his Tunes from every paſſenger, that laſt whiſtled? Or becauſe he -thinks not that the beſt Echo which repeats moſt of the Sentence, but -that which repeats Leſs more plainly? - - - - -[Decoration] - -CHARACTERS - - -1. - -_The Character of a =Scot= at the first ſight._ - -At his firſt appearing in the _Charterhouſe_, an Olive coloured Veluet -ſuit owned him, which ſince became mous-colour, A pair of unſkour’d -ſtockings-gules, One indifferent ſhooe, his band of _Edenburgh_, and -cuffs of _London_, both ſtrangers to his ſhirt, a white feather in a -hat that had bin ſod, one onely cloak for the rain, which yet he made -ſerve him for all weathers: A Barren-half-acre of Face, amidſt whereof -an eminent Noſe advanced himſelf, like the new Mount at _Wanſted_, -overlooking his Beard, and all the wilde Country thereabouts; He was -tended enough, but not well; for they were certain dumb creeping -Followers, yet they made way for their Maſter, the Laird. At the -firſt preſentment his Breeches were his Sumpter, and his Packets, -Trunks, Cloak-bags, Portmanteau’s and all; He then grew a -Knight-wright, and there is extant of his ware at 100_l._ 150_l._ and -200_l._ price. Immediately after this, he ſhifteth his ſuit, ſo did -his Whore, and to a Bear-baiting they went, whither I followed them -not, but _Tom. Thorney_ did. - - - - -[Decoration] - -2. - -_The true Character of a =Dunce=._ - - -He hath a Soule drownd in a lump of Fleſh, or in a piece of Earth that -_Prometheus_ put not half his proportion of Fire into, a thing that -hath neither edge of deſire, nor feeling of affection in it, The moſt -dangerous creature for confirming an _Atheiſt_, who would ſtraight -ſwear, his ſoul were nothing but the bare temperature of his body: He -ſleeps as he goes, and his thoughts ſeldom reach an inch further than -his eyes; The moſt part of the faculties of his ſoul lye Fallow, or -are like the reſtive Jades that no ſpur can drive forwards towards the -purſuite of any worthy deſign; one of the moſt unprofitable of all -Gods creatures, being as he is, a thing put clean beſides his right -uſe, made fitt for the cart & the flail, and by miſchance Entangled -amongſt books and papers, a man cannot tel poſſible what he is now -good for, ſave to move up and down and fill room, or to ſerve as -_Animatum Inſtrumentum_ for others to work withal in baſe Imployments, -or to be a foyl for better witts, or to ſerve (as They ſay monſters -do) to ſet out the variety of nature, and Ornament of the Univerſe, He -is meer nothing of himſelf, neither eates, nor drinkes, nor goes, nor -ſpits but by imitation, for al which, he hath ſet forms & faſhions, -which he never varies, but ſticks to, with the like plodding conſtancy -that a milhors follows his trace, both the muſes and the graces are -his hard Miſtriſſes though he daily Invocate them, though he ſacrifize -_Hecatombs_, they ſtil look a ſquint, you ſhall note him oft (beſide -his dull eye and louting head, and a certain clammie benum’d pace) by -a fair diſplai’d beard, a Nightcap and a gown, whoſe very wrincles -proclaim him the true genius of formality, but of al others, his -diſcours and compoſitions beſt ſpeak him, both of them are much of one -ſtuf & faſhion, he ſpeaks juſt what his books or laſt company ſaid -unto him without varying one whit & very ſeldom underſtands himſelf, -you may know by his diſcourſe where he was laſt, for what he read or -heard yeſterday he now diſchargeth his memory or notebook of, not his -underſtanding, for it never came there; what he hath he flings abroad -at al adventurs without accomodating it to time, place, perſons or -occaſions, he commonly loſeth himſelf in his tale, and flutters up and -down windles without recovery, and whatſoever next preſents it ſelf, -his heavie conceit ſeizeth upon and goeth along with, however -_Heterogeneal_ to his matter in hand, his jeſts are either old flead -proverbs, or lean-ſtarv’d-hackny-_Apophthegm’s_, or poor verball quips -outworn by Servingmen, Tapſters and Milkmaids, even laid aſide by -Balladers, He aſſents to all men that bring any ſhadow of reaſon, and -you may make him when he ſpeaks moſt Dogmatically, even with one -breath, to averr pure contradictions, His Compoſitions differ only -_terminorum poſitione_ from Dreams, Nothing but rude heaps of -Immaterial-inchoherent droſſie-rubbiſh-ſtuffe, promiſcuouſly thruſt up -together, enough to Infuſe dullneſs and Barrenneſs of Conceit into him -that is ſo Prodigall of his eares as to give the hearing, enough to -make a mans memory Ake with ſuffering ſuch dirtie ſtuffe caſt into it, -as unwellcome to any true conceit, as Sluttiſh Morſells or Wallowiſh -Potions to a Nice-Stomack which whiles he empties himſelfe of, it -ſticks in his Teeth nor can he be Delivered without Sweate and -Sighes, and Humms, and Coughs enough to ſhake his Grandams teeth out -of her head; Heel ſpitt, and ſcratch, and yawn, and ſtamp, and turn -like ſick men from one elbow to another, and Deſerve as much pitty -during this torture as men in Fits of Tertian Feavors or ſelfe laſhing -Penitentiaries; in a word, Rip him quite aſunder, and examin every -ſhred of him, you ſhall finde him to be juſt nothing, but the ſubject -of Nothing, the object of contempt, yet ſuch as he is you muſt take -him, for there is no hope he ſhould ever become better. - - - - -[Decoration] - -21. - -_An Eſſay of Valour._ - - -I am of opinion that nothing is ſo potent either to procure or merit -Love, as Valour, and I am glad I am ſo, for thereby I ſhall do my ſelf -much eaſe, becauſe Valour never needs much wit to maintain it: To -ſpeak of it in it ſelf, It is a quality which he that hath, ſhall have -leaſt need of, so the beſt League between Princes is a mutual fear of -each other, it teacheth a man to value his reputation as his life, and -chiefly to hold the Lye unſufferable, though being alone, he holds -finds no hurt it doth him, It leaves it ſelf to others cenſures, for -he that brags of his own valour, diſſwades others from believing it, -It feareth a word no more than an Ague, It always makes good the -Owner, for though he be generally held a fool, he ſhall ſeldom hear ſo -much by word of mouth, and that enlargeth him more than any -ſpectacles, for it maketh a little fellow be called a tall man, it -yeilds the wall to none but a woman, whoſe weakneſs is her -prerogative, or a man ſeconded with a woman as an uſher, which always -goes before his betters, It makes a man become the witneſs of his own -words, and ſtand to whatever he hath ſaid, and thinketh it a reproach -to commit his reviling unto the Law, it furniſheth youth with action, -and age with diſcourſe, and both by futures, for a man muſt ever boaſt -himſelf in the preſent tenſe, and to come nearer home, nothing drawes -a woman like to it; for Valour towards men, is an Emblem of an ability -towards women, a good quality ſignifies a better. Nothing is more -behooffull for that Sex; for from it they receive protection, and we -free from the danger of it: Nothing makes a ſhorter cut for obtaining, -for a man of Arms is always void of Ceremony, which is the wall that -ſtands between _Pyramus_ and _Thiſbe_, that is, _Man_ and _Woman_, for -there is no pride in women but that which rebounds from our own -baſeneſſe (as Cowards grow valiant upon thoſe that are more Cowards) -ſo that only by our pale aſking we teach them to deny, and by our -ſhamefac’dneſs, we put them in minde to be modeſt, whereas indeed it -is cunning _Rhetorick_ to perſwade the hearers that they are that -already which he would have them to be; This kinde of baſhfulneſs is -far from men of Valour, and eſpecially from ſouldiers, for ſuch are -ever men (without doubt) forward and confident, loſing no time leaſt -they ſhould loſe opportunity, which is the beſt Factor for a Lover, -and becauſe they know women are given to diſſemble, they will never -believe them when they deny, _Whilome_ before this age of wit, and -wearing black, were broke in upon us, there was no way known to win a -Lady but by Tylting, Turnying, and riding through Forreſts, in which -time theſe ſlender ſtriplings with little legs were held but of -ſtrength enough to marry their widows, and even in our days there can -be given no reaſon of the Inundation of Servingmen upon their -Miſtreſſes, but (only) that uſually they carry their Maſters Weapons, -and his Valour: To be accounted handſome, juſt, learned, or well -favoured, all this carries no danger with it, but it is to be admitted -to the Title of Valiant Acts, at leaſt the adventuring of his -mortality, and al women take delight to hold him safe in their arms -who hath ’ſcapt thither through many dangers: To ſpeak at once, Man -hath a priviledge in Valour; In clothes and good faces we but imitate -women, and many of that Sex will not think much (as far as an anſwer -goes) to diſſemble wit too. So then theſe neat youths, theſe women in -mens apparel are too near a woman to be beloved of her, They be both -of a Trade, but be grim of aſpect, and ſuch a one as Glaſs dares take, -and ſhe will deſire him for neatneſs and varietie; A ſkar in a mans -face is the ſame that a mole in a womans; a Jewel ſet in white to make -it ſeem more white, for the ſkar in a man is a mark of honour and no -blemiſh, for ’tis a ſkar and a blemiſh too in a Souldier too to be -with out one: Now as for al things elſe which are to procure Love, as -a good face, wit, good clothes, or a good body, each of them I confeſs -may work ſomewhat for want of a better, That is, if _Valour be not -their Rivall_; A good face avails nothing if it be in a coward that is -baſhfull, the utmoſt of it is to be kiſſ’d, which rather encreaſeth -then quencheth appetite; He that ſends her gifts ſends her word alſo, -that he is a man of ſmall gifts otherwiſe, for wooing by ſigns and -tokens implies the Author dumb; and if _Ovid_ who writ _the Law of -Love_, were alive (as he is extant) would allow it as good a -diverſity, that gifts ſhould be ſent as gratuities, not as bribes; -Wit getteth rather promiſe then Love, Wit is not to be ſeen, and no -woman takes advice of any in her loving, but of her own eyes, and her -waiting womans; Nay which is worſe, wit is not to be felt, and ſo no -good fellow; Wit apply’d to a woman makes her diſſolve (or diſcloſe) -her ſimpering, and diſcover her teeth with laughter, and this is -ſurely a purge for love; for the beginning of love is a kind of -fooliſh melancholy, as for the man that makes his Taylor his Bawd, and -hopes to inveagle his Love with ſuch a coloured ſuit, ſurely the ſame -deeply hazards the loſs of her favour upon every change of his -clothes; So likewiſe for the other, that Courts her ſilently with a -good body, let me certifie him that his clothes depend upon the -comelyneſſe of the body, and ſo both upon opinion; ſhe that hath been -ſeduced by Apparel, let me give her to wit, _that men always put off -their clothes before they go to bed_; and let her that hath been -enamour’d of her ſervants body, underſtand, _that if ſhe ſaw him in a -ſkin of cloth_, that is, in a ſuit made to the pattern of his body, -_ſhe would ſee ſlender cauſe to love him ever after_; there are no -clothes ſit ſo well in a woman’s eye, as a ſuit of Steel, though not -of the faſhion, and no man ſo ſoon ſurpriſeth a womans affections as -he that is the ſubject of all whiſperings, and hath always twenty -ſtories of his own deeds depending upon him; Miſtake me not, I -underſtand not by valour one that never fights but when he is back’d -by drink or anger, or hiſſ’d on with beholders, nor one that is -deſperate, nor one that takes away a Servingmans weapons when -perchance it coſt him his quarters wages, nor yet one that wears a -Privy coat of defence and therein is confident, for then ſuch as made -Bucklers, would be accounted the _Catalines_ of this Commonwealth—I -intend one of an even Reſolution grounded upon reaſon, which is always -even, having his power reſtrained by the Law of not doing wrong. But -now I remember I am for Valour and therefore I muſt be a man of few -words. - - - - -Transcriber’s Note - - -Inconsistent period spelling retained as printed. 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