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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a476a42 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #61434 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/61434) diff --git a/old/61434-h.zip b/old/61434-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 3b13097..0000000 --- a/old/61434-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/61434-h/61434-h.htm b/old/61434-h/61434-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index de24023..0000000 --- a/old/61434-h/61434-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1560 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=us-ascii" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of Mightiest Qorn, by Keith Laumer. - </title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -div.titlepage { - text-align: center; - page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; -} - -div.titlepage p { - text-align: center; - text-indent: 0em; - font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; - margin-top: 3em; -} - -.ph1 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } -.ph1 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } - -.ph2 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; } -.ph2 { font-size: medium; margin: .83em auto; } - -.blockquot { - margin-left: 5%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Mightiest Qorn, by Keith Laumer - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Mightiest Qorn - -Author: Keith Laumer - -Release Date: February 17, 2020 [EBook #61434] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIGHTIEST QORN *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="363" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>MIGHTIEST QORN</h1> - -<h2>BY KEITH LAUMER</h2> - -<p class="ph1">Sly, brave and truculent, the Qornt<br /> -held all humans in contempt—except one!</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Worlds of If Science Fiction, July 1963.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph2">I</p> - -<p>Ambassador Nitworth glowered across his mirror-polished, nine-foot -platinum desk at his assembled staff.</p> - -<p>"Gentlemen, are any of you familiar with a race known as the Qornt?"</p> - -<p>There was a moment of profound silence. Nitworth leaned forward, -looking solemn.</p> - -<p>"They were a warlike race known in this sector back in Concordiat -times, perhaps two hundred years ago. They vanished as suddenly as -they had appeared. There was no record of where they went." He paused -for effect.</p> - -<p>"They have now reappeared—occupying the inner planet of this system!"</p> - -<p>"But, sir," Second Secretary Magnan offered. "That's uninhabited -Terrestrial territory...."</p> - -<p>"Indeed, Mr. Magnan?" Nitworth smiled icily. "It appears the Qornt do -not share that opinion." He plucked a heavy parchment from a folder -before him, harrumphed and read aloud:</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<p>His Supreme Excellency The Qorn, Regent of Qornt, Over-Lord of the -Galactic Destiny, Greets the Terrestrials and, with reference to the -presence in mandated territory of Terrestrial squatters, has the honor -to advise that he will require the use of his outer world on the -thirtieth day. Then will the Qornt come with steel and fire. Receive, -Terrestrials, renewed assurances of my awareness of your existence, -and let Those who dare gird for the contest.</p></div> - -<p>"Frankly, I wouldn't call it conciliatory," Magnan said.</p> - -<p>Nitworth tapped the paper with a finger.</p> - -<p>"We have been served, gentlemen, with nothing less than an Ultimatum!"</p> - -<p>"Well, we'll soon straighten these fellows out—" the Military Attache -began.</p> - -<p>"There happens to be more to this piece of truculence than appears on -the surface," the Ambassador cut in. He paused, waiting for interested -frowns to settle into place.</p> - -<p>"Note, gentlemen, that these invaders have appeared on terrestrial -controlled soil—and without so much as a flicker from the instruments -of the Navigational Monitor Service!"</p> - -<p>The Military Attache blinked. "That's absurd," he said flatly. Nitworth -slapped the table.</p> - -<p>"We're up against something new, gentlemen! I've considered every -hypothesis from cloaks of invisibility to time travel! The fact is—the -Qornt fleets are indetectible!"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The Military Attache pulled at his lower lip. "In that case, we can't -try conclusions with these fellows until we have an indetectible drive -of our own. I recommend a crash project. In the meantime—"</p> - -<p>"I'll have my boys start in to crack this thing," the Chief of the -Confidential Terrestrial Source Section spoke up. "I'll fit out a -couple of volunteers with plastic beaks—"</p> - -<p>"No cloak and dagger work, gentlemen! Long range policy will be -worked out by Deep-Think teams back at the Department. Our role will -be a holding action. Now I want suggestions for a comprehensive, -well rounded and decisive course for meeting this threat. Any -recommendation?"</p> - -<p>The Political Officer placed his fingertips together. "What about a -stiff Note demanding an extra week's time?"</p> - -<p>"No! No begging," the Economic Officer objected. "I'd say a calm, -dignified, aggressive withdrawal—as soon as possible."</p> - -<p>"We don't want to give them the idea we spook easily," the Military -Attache said. "Let's delay the withdrawal—say, until tomorrow."</p> - -<p>"Early tomorrow," Magnan said. "Or maybe later today."</p> - -<p>"Well, I see you're of a mind with me," Nitworth nodded. "Our plan of -action is clear, but it remains to be implemented. We have a population -of over fifteen million individuals to relocate." He eyed the -Political Officer. "I want five proposals for resettlement on my desk -by oh-eight-hundred hours tomorrow." Nitworth rapped out instructions. -Harried-looking staff members arose and hurried from the room. Magnan -eased toward the door.</p> - -<p>"Where are you going, Magnan?" Nitworth snapped.</p> - -<p>"Since you're so busy, I thought I'd just slip back down to Com Inq. It -was a most interesting orientation lecture, Mr. Ambassador. Be sure to -let us know how it works out."</p> - -<p>"Kindly return to your chair," Nitworth said coldly. "A number of -chores remain to be assigned. I think you, Magnan, need a little field -experience. I want you to get over to Roolit I and take a look at these -Qornt personally."</p> - -<p>Magnan's mouth opened and closed soundlessly.</p> - -<p>"Not afraid of a few Qornt, are you, Magnan?"</p> - -<p>"Afraid? Good lord, no, ha ha. It's just that I'm afraid I may lose my -head and do something rash if I go."</p> - -<p>"Nonsense! A diplomat is immune to heroic impulses. Take Retief along. -No dawdling, now! I want you on the way in two hours. Notify the -transport pool at once. Now get going!"</p> - -<p>Magnan nodded unhappily and went into the hall.</p> - -<p>"Oh, Retief," Nitworth said. Retief turned.</p> - -<p>"Try to restrain Mr. Magnan from any impulsive moves—in any -direction."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph2">II</p> - -<p>Retief and Magnan topped a ridge and looked down across a slope -of towering tree-shrubs and glossy violet-stemmed palms set among -flamboyant blossoms of yellow and red, reaching down to a strip of -white beach with the blue sea beyond.</p> - -<p>"A delightful vista," Magnan said, mopping at his face. "A pity we -couldn't locate the Qornt. We'll go back now and report—"</p> - -<p>"I'm pretty sure the settlement is off to the right," Retief said. "Why -don't you head back for the boat, while I ease over and see what I can -observe."</p> - -<p>"Retief, we're engaged in a serious mission. This is not a time to -think of sightseeing."</p> - -<p>"I'd like to take a good look at what we're giving away."</p> - -<p>"See here, Retief! One might almost receive the impression that you're -questioning Corps policy!"</p> - -<p>"One might, at that. The Qornt have made their play, but I think it -might be valuable to take a look at their cards before we fold. If I'm -not back at the boat in an hour, lift without me."</p> - -<p>"You expect me to make my way back alone?"</p> - -<p>"It's directly down-slope—" Retief broke off, listening. Magnan -clutched at his arm.</p> - -<p>There was a sound of crackling foliage. Twenty feet ahead, a leafy -branch swung aside. An eight-foot biped stepped into view, long, thin, -green-clad legs with back-bending knees moving in quick, bird-like -steps. A pair of immense black-lensed goggles covered staring eyes set -among bushy green hair above a great bone-white beak. The crest bobbed -as the creature cocked its head, listening.</p> - -<p>Magnan gulped audibly. The Qornt froze, head tilted, beak aimed -directly at the spot where the Terrestrials stood in the deep shade of -a giant trunk.</p> - -<p>"I'll go for help," Magnan squeaked. He whirled and took three leaps -into the brush.</p> - -<p>A second great green-clad figure rose up to block his way. He spun, -darted to the left. The first Qornt pounced, grappled Magnan to its -narrow chest. Magnan yelled, threshing and kicking, broke free, -turned—and collided with the eight-foot alien, coming in fast from the -right. All three went down in a tangle of limbs.</p> - -<p>Retief jumped forward, hauled Magnan free, thrust him aside and -stopped, right fist cocked. The two Qornt lay groaning feebly.</p> - -<p>"Nice piece of work, Mr. Magnan," Retief said. "You nailed both of -them."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"Those undoubtedly are the most bloodthirsty, aggressive, merciless -countenances it has ever been my misfortune to encounter," Magnan said. -"It hardly seems fair. Eight feet tall <i>and</i> faces like that!"</p> - -<p>The smaller of the two captive Qornt ran long, slender fingers over -a bony shin, from which he had turned back the tight-fitting green -trousers.</p> - -<p>"It's not broken," he whistled nasally in passable Terrestrial, eyeing -Magnan through the heavy goggles, now badly cracked. "Small thanks to -you."</p> - -<p>Magnan smiled loftily. "I daresay you'll think twice before interfering -with peaceable diplomats in future."</p> - -<p>"Diplomats? Surely you jest."</p> - -<p>"Never mind us," Retief said. "It's you fellows we'd like to talk -about. How many of you are there?"</p> - -<p>"Only Zubb and myself."</p> - -<p>"I mean altogether. How many Qornt?"</p> - -<p>The alien whistled shrilly.</p> - -<p>"Here, no signalling!" Magnan snapped, looking around.</p> - -<p>"That was merely an expression of amusement."</p> - -<p>"You find the situation amusing? I assure you, sir, you are in perilous -straits at the moment. I <i>may</i> fly into another rage, you know."</p> - -<p>"Please, restrain yourself. I was merely somewhat astonished—" a small -whistle escaped—"at being taken for a Qornt."</p> - -<p>"Aren't you a Qornt?"</p> - -<p>"I? Great snail trails, no!" More stifled whistles of amusement escaped -the beaked face. "Both Zubb and I are Verpp. Naturalists, as it -happens."</p> - -<p>"You certainly <i>look</i> like Qornt."</p> - -<p>"Oh, not at all—except perhaps to a Terrestrial. The Qornt are -sturdily built rascals, all over ten feet in height. And, of course, -they do nothing but quarrel. A drone caste, actually."</p> - -<p>"A caste? You mean they're biologically the same as you?"</p> - -<p>"Not at all! A Verpp wouldn't think of fertilizing a Qornt."</p> - -<p>"I mean to say, you are of the same basic stock—descended from a -common ancestor, perhaps."</p> - -<p>"We are all Pud's creatures."</p> - -<p>"What are the differences between you, then?"</p> - -<p>"Why, the Qornt are argumentive, boastful, lacking in appreciation -for the finer things of life. One dreads to contemplate descending to -<i>their</i> level."</p> - -<p>"Do you know anything about a Note passed to the Terrestrial Ambassador -at Smorbrod?" Retief asked.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The beak twitched. "Smorbrod? I know of no place called Smorbrod."</p> - -<p>"The outer planet of this system."</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes. We call it Guzzum. I had heard that some sort of creatures -had established a settlement there, but I confess I pay little note to -such matters."</p> - -<p>"We're wasting time, Retief," Magnan said. "We must truss these chaps -up, hurry back to the boat and make our escape. You heard what they -said."</p> - -<p>"Are there any Qornt down there at the harbor, where the boats are?" -Retief asked.</p> - -<p>"At Tarroon, you mean? Oh, yes. Planning some adventure."</p> - -<p>"That would be the invasion of Smorbrod," Magnan said. "And unless we -hurry, Retief, we're likely to be caught there with the last of the -evacuees!"</p> - -<p>"How many Qornt would you say there are at Tarroon?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, a very large number. Perhaps fifteen or twenty."</p> - -<p>"Fifteen or twenty what?" Magnan looked perplexed.</p> - -<p>"Fifteen or twenty Qornt."</p> - -<p>"You mean that there are only fifteen or twenty individual Qornt in -all?"</p> - -<p>Another whistle. "Not at all. I was referring to the local Qornt only. -There are more at the other Centers, of course."</p> - -<p>"And the Qornt are responsible for the ultimatum—unilaterally?"</p> - -<p>"I suppose so; it sounds like them. A truculent group, you know. And -interplanetary relations <i>are</i> rather a hobby of theirs."</p> - -<p>Zubb moaned and stirred. He sat up slowly, rubbing his head. He spoke -to his companion in a shrill alien clatter of consonants.</p> - -<p>"What did he say?"</p> - -<p>"Poor Zubb. He blames me for his bruises, since it was my idea to -gather you as specimens."</p> - -<p>"You should have known better than to tackle that fierce-looking -creature," Zubb said, pointing his beak at Magnan.</p> - -<p>"How does it happen that you speak Terrestrial?" Retief asked.</p> - -<p>"Oh, one picks up all sorts of dialects."</p> - -<p>"It's quite charming, really," Magnan said. "Such a quaint, archaic -accent."</p> - -<p>"Suppose we went down to Tarroon," Retief asked. "What kind of -reception would we get?"</p> - -<p>"That depends. I wouldn't recommend interfering with the Gwil or the -Rheuk; it's their nest-mending time, you know. The Boog will be busy -mating—such a tedious business—and of course the Qornt are tied up -with their ceremonial feasting. I'm afraid no one will take any notice -of you."</p> - -<p>"Do you mean to say," Magnan demanded, "that these ferocious Qornt, who -have issued an ultimatum to the Corps Diplomatique Terrestrienne—who -openly avow their occupied world—would ignore Terrestrials in their -midst?"</p> - -<p>"If at all possible."</p> - -<p>Retief got to his feet.</p> - -<p>"I think our course is clear, Mr. Magnan. It's up to us to go down and -attract a little attention."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph2">III</p> - -<p>"I'm not at all sure we're going about this in the right way," Magnan -puffed, trotting at Retief's side. "These fellows Zubb and Slun—Oh, -they seem affable enough, but how can we be sure we're not being led -into a trap?"</p> - -<p>"We can't."</p> - -<p>Magnan stopped short. "Let's go back."</p> - -<p>"All right," Retief said. "Of course there may be an ambush—"</p> - -<p>Magnan moved off. "Let's keep going."</p> - -<p>The party emerged from the undergrowth at the edge of a great -brush-grown mound. Slun took the lead, rounded the flank of the -hillock, halted at a rectangular opening cut into the slope.</p> - -<p>"You can find your way easily enough from here," he said. "You'll -excuse us, I hope—"</p> - -<p>"Nonsense, Slun!" Zubb pushed forward. "I'll escort our guests to Qornt -Hall." He twittered briefly to his fellow Verpp. Slun twittered back.</p> - -<p>"I don't like it, Retief," Magnan whispered. "Those fellows are -plotting mischief."</p> - -<p>"Threaten them with violence, Mr Magnan. They're scared of you."</p> - -<p>"That's true. And the drubbing they received was well-deserved. I'm a -patient man, but there are occasions—"</p> - -<p>"Come along, please," Zubb called. "Another ten minutes' walk—"</p> - -<p>"See here, we have no interest in investigating this barrow," Magnan -announced. "We wish you to take us direct to Tarroon to interview your -military leaders regarding the ultimatum!"</p> - -<p>"Yes, yes, of course. Qornt Hall lies here inside the village."</p> - -<p>"This is Tarroon?"</p> - -<p>"A modest civic center, sir, but there are those who love it."</p> - -<p>"No wonder we didn't observe their works from the air," Magnan -muttered. "Camouflaged." He moved hesitantly through the opening.</p> - -<p>The party moved along a wide, deserted tunnel which sloped down -steeply, then leveled off and branched. Zubb took the center branch, -ducking slightly under the nine-foot ceiling lit at intervals with what -appeared to be primitive incandescent panels.</p> - -<p>"Few signs of an advanced technology here," Magnan whispered. "These -creatures must devote all their talents to warlike enterprise."</p> - -<p>Ahead, Zubb slowed. A distant susurration was audible, a sustained -high-pitched screeching. "Softly, now. We approach Qornt Hall. They -can be an irascible lot when disturbed at their feasting."</p> - -<p>"When will the feast be over?" Magnan called hoarsely.</p> - -<p>"In another few weeks, I should imagine, if, as you say, they've -scheduled an invasion for next month."</p> - -<p>"Look here, Zubb." Magnan shook a finger at the tall alien. "How is it -that these Qornt are allowed to embark on piratical ventures of this -sort without reference to the wishes of the majority?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, the majority of the Qornt favor the move, I imagine."</p> - -<p>"These few hotheads are permitted to embroil the planet in war?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, they don't embroil the planet in war. They merely—"</p> - -<p>"Retief, this is fantastic! I've heard of iron-fisted military cliques -before, but this is madness!"</p> - -<p>"Come softly, now." Zubb beckoned, moving toward a bend in the -yellow-lit corridor. Retief and Magnan moved forward.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The corridor debouched through a high double door into a vast oval -chamber, high-domed, gloomy, paneled in dark wood and hung with -tattered banners, scarred halberds, pikes, rusted longswords, crossed -spears over patinaed hauberks, pitted radiation armor, corroded power -rifles, the immense mummified heads of horned and fanged animals. Great -guttering torches in wall brackets and in stands along the length -of the long table shed a smoky light that reflected from the mirror -polish of the red granite floor, gleamed on polished silver bowls and -paper-thin glass, shone jewel-red and gold through dark bottles—and -cast long flickering shadows behind the fifteen trolls at the board.</p> - -<p>Lesser trolls—beaked, bush-haired, great-eyed—trotted briskly, -bird-kneed, bearing steaming platters, stood in groups of -three strumming slender bottle-shaped lutes, or pranced an -intricate-patterned dance, unnoticed in the shrill uproar as each of -the magnificently draped, belted, feathered and jeweled Qornt carried -on a shouted conversation with an equally noisy fellow.</p> - -<p>"A most interesting display of barbaric splendor," Magnan breathed. -"Now we'd better be getting back."</p> - -<p>"Ah, a moment," Zubb said. "Observe the Qornt—the tallest of the -feasters—he with the head-dress of crimson, purple, silver and pink."</p> - -<p>"Twelve feet if he's an inch," Magnan estimated. "And now we really -must hurry along—"</p> - -<p>"That one is chief among these rowdies. I'm sure you'll want a word -with him. He controls not only the Tarroonian vessels but those from -the other Centers as well."</p> - -<p>"What kind of vessels? Warships?"</p> - -<p>"Certainly. What other kind would the Qornt bother with?"</p> - -<p>"I don't suppose," Magnan said casually, "that you'd know the type, -tonnage, armament and manning of these vessels? And how many units -comprise the fleet? And where they're based at present?"</p> - -<p>"They're fully automated twenty-thousand-ton all-purpose dreadnaughts. -They mount a variety of weapons. The Qornt are fond of that sort of -thing. Each of the Qornt has his own, of course. They're virtually -identical, except for the personal touches each individual has given -his ship."</p> - -<p>"Great heavens, Retief!" Magnan exclaimed in a whisper. "It sounds as -though these brutes employ a battle armada as simpler souls might a set -of toy sailboats!"</p> - -<p>Retief stepped past Magnan and Zubb to study the feasting hall. "I can -see that their votes would carry all the necessary weight."</p> - -<p>"And now an interview with the Qorn himself," Zubb shrilled. "If you'll -kindly step along, gentlemen...."</p> - -<p>"That won't be necessary," Magnan said hastily, "I've decided to refer -the matter to committee."</p> - -<p>"After having come so far," Zubb said, "it would be a pity to miss -having a cosy chat."</p> - -<p>There was a pause.</p> - -<p>"Ah ... Retief," Magnan said. "Zubb has just presented a most -compelling argument...."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Retief turned. Zubb stood gripping an ornately decorated power pistol -in one bony hand, a slim needler in the other. Both were pointed at -Magnan's chest.</p> - -<p>"I suspected you had hidden qualities, Zubb," Retief commented.</p> - -<p>"See here, Zubb! We're diplomats!" Magnan started.</p> - -<p>"Careful, Mr. Magnan; you may goad him to a frenzy."</p> - -<p>"By no means," Zubb whistled. "I much prefer to observe the frenzy -of the Qornt when presented with the news that two peaceful Verpp -have been assaulted and kidnapped by bullying interlopers. If there's -anything that annoys the Qornt, it's Qornt-like behavior in others. Now -step along, please."</p> - -<p>"Rest assured, this will be reported!"</p> - -<p>"I doubt it."</p> - -<p>"You'll face the wrath of Enlightened Galactic Opinion!"</p> - -<p>"Oh? How big a navy does Enlightened Galactic Opinion have?"</p> - -<p>"Stop scaring him, Mr. Magnan. He may get nervous and shoot." Retief -stepped into the banquet hall, headed for the resplendent figure at -the head of the table. A trio of flute-players broke off in mid-bleat, -staring. An inverted pyramid of tumblers blinked as Retief swung past, -followed by Magnan and the tall Verpp. The shrill chatter at the table -faded.</p> - -<p>Qorn turned as Retief came up, blinking three-inch eyes. Zubb stepped -forward, gibbered, waving his arms excitedly. Qorn pushed back his -chair—a low, heavily padded stool—and stared unwinking at Retief, -moving his head to bring first one great round eye, then the other, to -bear. There were small blue veins in the immense fleshy beak. The bushy -hair, springing out in a giant halo around the grayish, porous-skinned -face, was wiry, stiff, moss-green, with tufts of chartreuse fuzz -surrounding what appeared to be tympanic membranes. The tall head-dress -of scarlet silk and purple feathers was slightly askew, and a loop of -pink pearls had slipped down above one eye.</p> - -<p>Zubb finished his speech and fell silent, breathing hard.</p> - -<p>Qorn looked Retief over in silence, then belched.</p> - -<p>"Not bad," Retief said admiringly. "Maybe we could get up a match -between you and Ambassador Sternwheeler. You've got the volume on him, -but he's got timbre."</p> - -<p>"So," Qorn hooted in a resonant tenor. "You come from Guzzum, eh? Or -Smorbrod, as I think you call it. What is it you're after? More time? -A compromise? Negotiations? Peace?" He slammed a bony hand against the -table. "The answer is <i>no</i>!"</p> - -<p>Zubb twittered. Qorn cocked an eye, motioned to a servant. "Chain that -one." He indicated Magnan. His eyes went to Retief. "This one's bigger; -you'd best chain him, too."</p> - -<p>"Why, your Excellency—" Magnan started, stepping forward.</p> - -<p>"Stay back!" Qorn hooted. "Stand over there where I can keep an eye on -you."</p> - -<p>"Your Excellency, I'm empowered—"</p> - -<p>"Not here, you're not!" Qorn trumpeted. "Want peace, do you? Well, I -don't want peace! I've had a surfeit of peace these last two centuries! -I want action! Loot! Adventure! Glory!" He turned to look down the -table. "How about it, fellows? It's war to the knife, eh?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>There was a momentary silence from all sides.</p> - -<p>"I guess so," grunted a giant Qornt in iridescent blue with -flame-colored plumes.</p> - -<p>Qorn's eyes bulged. He half rose. "We've been all over this," he -bassooned. He clamped bony fingers on the hilt of a light rapier. "I -thought I'd made my point!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, sure, Qorn."</p> - -<p>"You bet."</p> - -<p>"I'm convinced."</p> - -<p>Qorn rumbled and resumed his seat. "All for one and one for all, that's -us."</p> - -<p>"And you're the one, eh, Qorn?" Retief commented.</p> - -<p>Magnan cleared his throat. "I sense that some of you gentlemen are not -convinced of the wisdom of this move," he piped, looking along the -table at the silks, jewels, beaks, feather-decked crests and staring -eyes.</p> - -<p>"Silence!" Qorn hooted. "No use your talking to my loyal lieutenants -anyway," he added. "They do whatever I convince them they ought to do."</p> - -<p>"But I'm sure that on more mature consideration—"</p> - -<p>"I can lick any Qornt in the house." Qorn said. "That's why I'm Qorn." -He belched again.</p> - -<p>A servant came up staggering under a weight of chain, dropped it with a -crash at Magnan's feet. Zubb aimed the guns while the servant wrapped -three loops around Magnan's wrists, snapped a lock in place.</p> - -<p>"You next!" The guns pointed at Retief's chest. He held out his arms. -Four loops of silvery-gray chain in half-inch links dropped around -them. The servant cinched them up tight, squeezed a lock through the -ends and closed it.</p> - -<p>"Now," Qorn said, lolling back in his chair, glass in hand. "There's a -bit of sport to be had here, lads. What shall we do with them?"</p> - -<p>"Let them go," the blue and flame Qornt said glumly.</p> - -<p>"You can do better than that," Qorn hooted. "Now here's a suggestion: -we carve them up a little—lop off the external labiae and pinnae, -say—and ship them back."</p> - -<p>"Good lord! Retief, he's talking about cutting off our ears and sending -us home mutilated! What a barbaric proposal!"</p> - -<p>"It wouldn't be the first time a Terrestrial diplomat got a trimming," -Retief commented.</p> - -<p>"It should have the effect of stimulating the Terries to put up a -reasonable scrap," Qorn said judiciously. "I have a feeling that -they're thinking of giving up without a struggle."</p> - -<p>"Oh, I doubt that," the blue-and-flame Qornt said. "Why should they?"</p> - -<p>Qorn rolled an eye at Retief and another at Magnan. "Take these two," -he hooted. "I'll wager they came here to negotiate a surrender!"</p> - -<p>"Well," Magnan started.</p> - -<p>"Hold it, Mr. Magnan," Retief said. "I'll tell him."</p> - -<p>"What's your proposal?" Qorn whistled, taking a gulp from his goblet. -"A fifty-fifty split? Monetary reparations? Alternate territory? I can -assure you, it's useless. We Qornt <i>like</i> to fight."</p> - -<p>"I'm afraid you've gotten the wrong impression, your Excellency," -Retief said blandly. "We didn't come to negotiate. We came to deliver -an Ultimatum."</p> - -<p>"What?" Qorn trumpeted. Behind Retief, Magnan spluttered.</p> - -<p>"We plan to use this planet for target practice," Retief said. "A new -type hell bomb we've worked out. Have all your people off of it in -seventy-two hours, or suffer the consequences."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph2">IV</p> - -<p>"You have the gall," Qorn stormed, "to stand here in the center of -Qornt Hall—uninvited, at that—and in chains—"</p> - -<p>"Oh, these," Retief said. He tensed his arms. The soft aluminum links -stretched and broke. He shook the light metal free. "We diplomats like -to go along with colorful local customs, but I wouldn't want to mislead -you. Now, as to the evacuation of Roolit I—"</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="350" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Zubb screeched, waved the guns. The Qornt were jabbering.</p> - -<p>"I told you they were brutes," Zubb shrilled.</p> - -<p>Qorn slammed his fist down on the table. "I don't care what they are!" -he honked. "Evacuate, hell! I can field eighty-five combat-ready ships!"</p> - -<p>"And we can englobe every one of them with a thousand Peace Enforcers -with a hundred megatons/second firepower each."</p> - -<p>"Retief." Magnan tugged at his sleeve. "Don't forget their superdrive."</p> - -<p>"That's all right. They don't have one."</p> - -<p>"But—"</p> - -<p>"We'll take you on!" Qorn French-horned. "We're the Qorn! We glory in -battle! We live in fame or go down in—"</p> - -<p>"Hogwash," the flame-and-blue Qorn cut in. "If it wasn't for you, Qorn, -we could sit around and feast and brag and enjoy life without having to -prove anything."</p> - -<p>"Qorn, you seem to be the fire-brand here," Retief said. "I think the -rest of the boys would listen to reason—"</p> - -<p>"Over my dead body!"</p> - -<p>"My idea exactly," Retief said. "You claim you can lick any man in -the house. Unwind yourself from your ribbons and step out here on the -floor, and we'll see how good you are at backing up your conversation."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Magnan hovered at Retief's side. "Twelve feet tall," he moaned. "And -did you notice the size of those hands?"</p> - -<p>Retief watched as Qorn's aides helped him out of his formal trappings. -"I wouldn't worry too much, Mr. Magnan. This is a light-Gee world. I -doubt if old Qorn would weigh up at more than two-fifty standard pounds -here."</p> - -<p>"But that phenomenal reach—"</p> - -<p>"I'll peck away at him at knee level. When he bends over to swat me, -I'll get a crack at him."</p> - -<p>Across the cleared floor, Qorn shook off his helpers with a snort.</p> - -<p>"Enough! Let me at the upstart!"</p> - -<p>Retief moved out to meet him, watching the upraised backward-jointed -arms. Qorn stalked forward, long lean legs bent, long horny feet -clacking against the polished floor. The other aliens—both servitors -and bejeweled Qornt—formed a wide circle, all eyes unwaveringly on the -combatants.</p> - -<p>Qorn struck suddenly, a long arm flashing down in a vicious cut at -Retief, who leaned aside, caught one lean shank below the knee. Qorn -bent to haul Retief from his leg—and staggered back as a haymaker took -him just below the beak. A screech went up from the crowd as Retief -leaped clear.</p> - -<p>Qorn hissed and charged. Retief whirled aside, then struck the alien's -off-leg in a flying tackle. Qorn leaned, arms windmilling, crashed to -the floor. Retief whirled, dived for the left arm, whipped it behind -the narrow back, seized Qorn's neck in a stranglehold and threw his -weight backward. Qorn fell on his back, his legs squatted out at an -awkward angle. He squawked and beat his free arm on the floor, reaching -in vain for Retief.</p> - -<p>Zubb stepped forward, pistols ready. Magnan stepped before him.</p> - -<p>"Need I remind you, sir," he said icily, "that this is an official -diplomatic function? I can brook no interference from disinterested -parties."</p> - -<p>Zubb hesitated. Magnan held out a hand. "I must ask you to hand me your -weapons, Zubb."</p> - -<p>"Look here," Zubb began.</p> - -<p>"I <i>may</i> lose my temper," Magnan hinted. Zubb lowered the guns, passed -them to Magnan. He thrust them into his belt with a sour smile, turned -back to watch the encounter.</p> - -<p>Retief had thrown a turn of violet silk around Qorn's left wrist, bound -it to the alien's neck. Another wisp of stuff floated from Qorn's -shoulder. Retief, still holding Qorn in an awkward sprawl, wrapped -it around one outflung leg, trussed ankle and thigh together. Qorn -flopped, hooting. At each movement, the constricting loop around his -neck, jerked his head back, the green crest tossing wildly.</p> - -<p>"If I were you, I'd relax," Retief said, rising and releasing his grip. -Qorn got a leg under him; Retief kicked it. Qorn's chin hit the floor -with a hollow clack. He wilted, an ungainly tangle of over-long limbs -and gay silks.</p> - -<p>Retief turned to the watching crowd. "Next?" he called.</p> - -<p>The blue and flame Qornt stepped forward. "Maybe this would be a good -time to elect a new leader," he said. "Now, my qualifications—"</p> - -<p>"Sit down," Retief said loudly. He stepped to the head of the table, -seated himself in Qorn's vacated chair. "A couple of you finish -trussing Qorn up for me."</p> - -<p>"But we must select a leader!"</p> - -<p>"That won't be necessary, boys. I'm your new leader."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"As I see it," Retief said, dribbling cigar ashes into an empty wine -glass, "you Qornt like to be warriors, but you don't particularly like -to fight."</p> - -<p>"We don't mind a little fighting—within reason. And, of course, as -Qornt, we're expected to die in battle. But what I say is, why rush -things?"</p> - -<p>"I have a suggestion," Magnan said. "Why not turn the reins of -government over to the Verpp? They seem a level-headed group."</p> - -<p>"What good would that do? Qornt are Qornt. It seems there's always one -among us who's a slave to instinct—and, naturally, we have to follow -him."</p> - -<p>"Why?"</p> - -<p>"Because that's the way it's done."</p> - -<p>"Why not do it another way?" Magnan offered. "Now, I'd like to suggest -community singing—"</p> - -<p>"If we gave up fighting, we might live too long. Then what would -happen?"</p> - -<p>"Live too long?" Magnan looked puzzled.</p> - -<p>"When estivating time comes there'd be no burrows for us. Anyway, with -the new Qornt stepping on our heels—"</p> - -<p>"I've lost the thread," Magnan said. "Who are the new Qornt?"</p> - -<p>"After estivating, the Verpp moult, and then they're Qornt, of course. -The Gwil become Boog, the Boog become Rheuk, the Rheuk metamorphosize -into Verpp—"</p> - -<p>"You mean Slun and Zubb—the mild-natured naturalists—will become -warmongers like Qorn?"</p> - -<p>"Very likely. 'The milder the Verpp, the wilder the Qorn,' as the old -saying goes."</p> - -<p>"What do Qornt turn into?" Retief asked.</p> - -<p>"Hmmmm. That's a good question. So far, none have survived Qornthood."</p> - -<p>"Have you thought of forsaking your warlike ways?" Magnan asked. "What -about taking up sheepherding and regular church attendance?"</p> - -<p>"Don't mistake me. We Qornt like a military life. It's great sport to -sit around roaring fires and drink and tell lies and then go dashing -off to enjoy a brisk affray and some leisurely looting afterward. But -we prefer a nice numerical advantage. Not this business of tackling you -Terrestrials over on Guzzum—that was a mad notion. We had no idea what -your strength was."</p> - -<p>"But now that's all off, of course," Magnan chirped. "Now that we've -had diplomatic relations and all—"</p> - -<p>"Oh, by no means. The fleet lifts in thirty days. After all, we're -Qornt; we have to satisfy our drive to action."</p> - -<p>"But Mr. Retief is your leader now. He won't let you!"</p> - -<p>"Only a dead Qornt stays home when Attack day comes. And even if -he orders us all to cut our own throats, there are still the other -Centers—all with their own leaders. No, gentlemen, the Invasion is -definitely on."</p> - -<p>"Why don't you go invade somebody else?" Magnan suggested. "I could -name some very attractive prospects—outside my sector, of course."</p> - -<p>"Hold everything," Retief said. "I think we've got the basis of a deal -here...."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph2">V</p> - -<p>At the head of a double column of gaudily caparisoned Qornt, Retief -and Magnan strolled across the ramp toward the bright tower of the CDT -Sector HQ. Ahead, gates opened, and a black Corps limousine emerged, -flying an Ambassadorial flag under a plain square of white.</p> - -<p>"Curious," Magnan commented. "I wonder what the significance of the -white ensign might be?"</p> - -<p>Retief raised a hand. The column halted with a clash of accoutrements -and a rasp of Qornt boots. Retief looked back along the line. The high -white sun flashed on bright silks, polished buckles, deep-dyed plumes, -butts of pistols, the soft gleam of leather.</p> - -<p>"A brave show indeed," Magnan commented approvingly. "I confess the -idea has merit."</p> - -<p>The limousine pulled up with a squeal of brakes, stood on two fat-tired -wheels, gyros humming softly. The hatch popped up. A portly diplomat -stepped out.</p> - -<p>"Why, Ambassador Nitworth," Magnan glowed. "This is very kind of you."</p> - -<p>"Keep cool, Magnan," Nitworth said in a strained voice. "We'll attempt -to get you out of this."</p> - -<p>He stepped past Magnan's out-stretched hand and looked hesitantly at -the ramrod-straight line of Qornt, eighty-five strong—and beyond, at -the eighty-five tall Qornt dreadnaughts.</p> - -<p>"Good afternoon, sir ... ah, Your Excellency," Nitworth said, blinking -up at the leading Qornt. "You are Commander of the Strike Force, I -assume?"</p> - -<p>"Nope," the Qornt said shortly.</p> - -<p>"I ... ah ... wish to request seventy-two hours in which to evacuate -Headquarters," Nitworth plowed on.</p> - -<p>"Mr. Ambassador." Retief said. "This—"</p> - -<p>"Don't panic, Retief. I'll attempt to secure your release," Nitworth -hissed over his shoulder. "Now—"</p> - -<p>"You will address our leader with more respect!" the tall Qornt hooted, -eyeing Nitworth ominously from eleven feet up.</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes indeed, sir ... your Excellency ... Commander. Now, about the -invasion—"</p> - -<p>"Mr. Secretary," Magnan tugged at Nitworth's sleeve.</p> - -<p>"In heaven's name, permit me to negotiate in peace!" Nitworth snapped. -He rearranged his features. "Now your Excellency, we've arranged to -evacuate Smorbrod, of course, just as you requested—"</p> - -<p>"Requested?" the Qornt honked.</p> - -<p>"Ah ... demanded, that is. Quite rightly of course. Ordered. -Instructed. And, of course, we'll be only too pleased to follow any -other instructions you might have."</p> - -<p>"You don't quite get the big picture, Mr. Secretary," Retief said. -"This isn't—"</p> - -<p>"Silence, confound you!" Nitworth barked. The leading Qornt looked at -Retief. He nodded. Two bony hands shot out, seized Nitworth and stuffed -a length of bright pink silk into his mouth, then spun him around and -held him facing Retief.</p> - -<p>"If you don't mind my taking this opportunity to brief you, Mr. -Ambassador," Retief said blandly. "I think I should mention that this -isn't an invasion fleet. These are the new recruits for the Peace -Enforcement Corps."</p> - -<p>Magnan stepped forward, glanced at the gag in Ambassador Nitworth's -mouth, hesitated, then cleared his throat. "We felt," he said, "that -the establishment of a Foreign Brigade within the P. E. Corps structure -would provide the element of novelty the Department has requested -in our recruiting, and at the same time would remove the stigma of -Terrestrial chauvinism from future punitive operations."</p> - -<p>Nitworth stared, eyes bulging. He grunted, reaching for the gag, caught -the Qornt's eye on him, dropped his hands to his sides.</p> - -<p>"I suggest we get the troops in out of the hot sun," Retief said. -Magnan edged close. "What about the gag?" he whispered.</p> - -<p>"Let's leave it where it is for a while," Retief murmured. "It may save -us a few concessions."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>An hour later, Nitworth, breathing freely again, glowered across his -desk at Retief and Magnan.</p> - -<p>"This entire affair," he rumbled, "has made me appear to be a fool!"</p> - -<p>"But we who are privileged to serve on your staff already know just how -clever you are," Magnan burbled.</p> - -<p>Nitworth purpled. "You're skirting insolence, Magnan," he roared. "Why -was I not informed of the arrangements? What was I to assume at the -sight of eighty-five war vessels over my headquarters, unannounced?"</p> - -<p>"We tried to get through, but our wavelengths—"</p> - -<p>"Bah! Sterner souls than I would have quailed at the spectacle!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, you were perfectly justified in panicking—"</p> - -<p>"I did <i>not</i> panic!" Nitworth bellowed. "I merely adjusted to the -apparent circumstances. Now, I'm of two minds as to the advisability of -this foreign legion idea of yours. Still, it may have merit. I believe -the wisest course would be to dispatch them on a long training cruise -in an uninhabited sector of space—"</p> - -<p>The office windows rattled. "What the devil!" Nitworth turned, stared -out at the ramp where a Qornt ship rose slowly on a column of pale blue -light. The vibration increased as a second ship lifted, then a third.</p> - -<p>Nitworth whirled on Magnan. "What's this! Who ordered these recruits to -embark without my permission?"</p> - -<p>"I took the liberty of giving them an errand to run, Mr. Secretary," -Retief said. "There was that little matter of the Groaci infiltrating -the Sirenian System. I sent the boys off to handle it."</p> - -<p>"Call them back at once!"</p> - -<p>"I'm afraid that won't be possible. They're under orders to maintain -total communications silence until completion of the mission."</p> - -<p>Nitworth drummed his fingers on the desk top. Slowly, a thoughtful -expression dawned. He nodded.</p> - -<p>"This may work out," he said. "I <i>should</i> call them back, but since -the fleet is out of contact, I'm unable to do so, correct? Thus I can -hardly be held responsible for any over-enthusiasm in chastising the -Groaci."</p> - -<p>He closed one eye in a broad wink at Magnan. "Very well, gentlemen, -I'll overlook the irregularity this time. Magnan, see to it the -Smorbrodian public are notified they can remain where they are. And -by the way, did you by any chance discover the technique of the -indetectable drive the Qornt use?"</p> - -<p>"No, sir. That is, yes, sir."</p> - -<p>"Well? Well?"</p> - -<p>"There isn't any. The Qornt were there all the while. Underground."</p> - -<p>"Underground? Doing what?"</p> - -<p>"Hibernating—for two hundred years at a stretch."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Outside in the corridor, Magnan came up to Retief, who stood talking to -a tall man in a pilot's coverall.</p> - -<p>"I'll be tied up, sending through full details on my—our—your -recruiting theme, Retief," Magnan said. "Suppose you run into the city -to assist the new Verpp Consul in settling in."</p> - -<p>"I'll do that, Mr. Magnan. Anything else?"</p> - -<p>Magnan raised his eyebrows. "You're remarkably compliant today, Retief. -I'll arrange transportation."</p> - -<p>"Don't bother, Mr. Magnan. Cy here will run me over. He was the pilot -who ferried us over to Roolit I, you recall."</p> - -<p>"I'll be with you as soon as I pack a few phone numbers, Retief," the -pilot said. He moved off. Magnan followed him with a disapproving eye. -"An uncouth sort, I fancied. I trust you're not consorting with his -kind socially."</p> - -<p>"I wouldn't say that, exactly," Retief said. "We just want to go over a -few figures together."</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Mightiest Qorn, by Keith Laumer - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIGHTIEST QORN *** - -***** This file should be named 61434-h.htm or 61434-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/1/4/3/61434/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Mightiest Qorn - -Author: Keith Laumer - -Release Date: February 17, 2020 [EBook #61434] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIGHTIEST QORN *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - MIGHTIEST QORN - - BY KEITH LAUMER - - Sly, brave and truculent, the Qornt - held all humans in contempt--except one! - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Worlds of If Science Fiction, July 1963. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - I - -Ambassador Nitworth glowered across his mirror-polished, nine-foot -platinum desk at his assembled staff. - -"Gentlemen, are any of you familiar with a race known as the Qornt?" - -There was a moment of profound silence. Nitworth leaned forward, -looking solemn. - -"They were a warlike race known in this sector back in Concordiat -times, perhaps two hundred years ago. They vanished as suddenly as -they had appeared. There was no record of where they went." He paused -for effect. - -"They have now reappeared--occupying the inner planet of this system!" - -"But, sir," Second Secretary Magnan offered. "That's uninhabited -Terrestrial territory...." - -"Indeed, Mr. Magnan?" Nitworth smiled icily. "It appears the Qornt do -not share that opinion." He plucked a heavy parchment from a folder -before him, harrumphed and read aloud: - - His Supreme Excellency The Qorn, Regent of Qornt, Over-Lord of the - Galactic Destiny, Greets the Terrestrials and, with reference to - the presence in mandated territory of Terrestrial squatters, has - the honor to advise that he will require the use of his outer world - on the thirtieth day. Then will the Qornt come with steel and fire. - Receive, Terrestrials, renewed assurances of my awareness of your - existence, and let Those who dare gird for the contest. - -"Frankly, I wouldn't call it conciliatory," Magnan said. - -Nitworth tapped the paper with a finger. - -"We have been served, gentlemen, with nothing less than an Ultimatum!" - -"Well, we'll soon straighten these fellows out--" the Military Attache -began. - -"There happens to be more to this piece of truculence than appears on -the surface," the Ambassador cut in. He paused, waiting for interested -frowns to settle into place. - -"Note, gentlemen, that these invaders have appeared on terrestrial -controlled soil--and without so much as a flicker from the instruments -of the Navigational Monitor Service!" - -The Military Attache blinked. "That's absurd," he said flatly. Nitworth -slapped the table. - -"We're up against something new, gentlemen! I've considered every -hypothesis from cloaks of invisibility to time travel! The fact is--the -Qornt fleets are indetectible!" - - * * * * * - -The Military Attache pulled at his lower lip. "In that case, we can't -try conclusions with these fellows until we have an indetectible drive -of our own. I recommend a crash project. In the meantime--" - -"I'll have my boys start in to crack this thing," the Chief of the -Confidential Terrestrial Source Section spoke up. "I'll fit out a -couple of volunteers with plastic beaks--" - -"No cloak and dagger work, gentlemen! Long range policy will be -worked out by Deep-Think teams back at the Department. Our role will -be a holding action. Now I want suggestions for a comprehensive, -well rounded and decisive course for meeting this threat. Any -recommendation?" - -The Political Officer placed his fingertips together. "What about a -stiff Note demanding an extra week's time?" - -"No! No begging," the Economic Officer objected. "I'd say a calm, -dignified, aggressive withdrawal--as soon as possible." - -"We don't want to give them the idea we spook easily," the Military -Attache said. "Let's delay the withdrawal--say, until tomorrow." - -"Early tomorrow," Magnan said. "Or maybe later today." - -"Well, I see you're of a mind with me," Nitworth nodded. "Our plan of -action is clear, but it remains to be implemented. We have a population -of over fifteen million individuals to relocate." He eyed the -Political Officer. "I want five proposals for resettlement on my desk -by oh-eight-hundred hours tomorrow." Nitworth rapped out instructions. -Harried-looking staff members arose and hurried from the room. Magnan -eased toward the door. - -"Where are you going, Magnan?" Nitworth snapped. - -"Since you're so busy, I thought I'd just slip back down to Com Inq. It -was a most interesting orientation lecture, Mr. Ambassador. Be sure to -let us know how it works out." - -"Kindly return to your chair," Nitworth said coldly. "A number of -chores remain to be assigned. I think you, Magnan, need a little field -experience. I want you to get over to Roolit I and take a look at these -Qornt personally." - -Magnan's mouth opened and closed soundlessly. - -"Not afraid of a few Qornt, are you, Magnan?" - -"Afraid? Good lord, no, ha ha. It's just that I'm afraid I may lose my -head and do something rash if I go." - -"Nonsense! A diplomat is immune to heroic impulses. Take Retief along. -No dawdling, now! I want you on the way in two hours. Notify the -transport pool at once. Now get going!" - -Magnan nodded unhappily and went into the hall. - -"Oh, Retief," Nitworth said. Retief turned. - -"Try to restrain Mr. Magnan from any impulsive moves--in any -direction." - - - II - -Retief and Magnan topped a ridge and looked down across a slope -of towering tree-shrubs and glossy violet-stemmed palms set among -flamboyant blossoms of yellow and red, reaching down to a strip of -white beach with the blue sea beyond. - -"A delightful vista," Magnan said, mopping at his face. "A pity we -couldn't locate the Qornt. We'll go back now and report--" - -"I'm pretty sure the settlement is off to the right," Retief said. "Why -don't you head back for the boat, while I ease over and see what I can -observe." - -"Retief, we're engaged in a serious mission. This is not a time to -think of sightseeing." - -"I'd like to take a good look at what we're giving away." - -"See here, Retief! One might almost receive the impression that you're -questioning Corps policy!" - -"One might, at that. The Qornt have made their play, but I think it -might be valuable to take a look at their cards before we fold. If I'm -not back at the boat in an hour, lift without me." - -"You expect me to make my way back alone?" - -"It's directly down-slope--" Retief broke off, listening. Magnan -clutched at his arm. - -There was a sound of crackling foliage. Twenty feet ahead, a leafy -branch swung aside. An eight-foot biped stepped into view, long, thin, -green-clad legs with back-bending knees moving in quick, bird-like -steps. A pair of immense black-lensed goggles covered staring eyes set -among bushy green hair above a great bone-white beak. The crest bobbed -as the creature cocked its head, listening. - -Magnan gulped audibly. The Qornt froze, head tilted, beak aimed -directly at the spot where the Terrestrials stood in the deep shade of -a giant trunk. - -"I'll go for help," Magnan squeaked. He whirled and took three leaps -into the brush. - -A second great green-clad figure rose up to block his way. He spun, -darted to the left. The first Qornt pounced, grappled Magnan to its -narrow chest. Magnan yelled, threshing and kicking, broke free, -turned--and collided with the eight-foot alien, coming in fast from the -right. All three went down in a tangle of limbs. - -Retief jumped forward, hauled Magnan free, thrust him aside and -stopped, right fist cocked. The two Qornt lay groaning feebly. - -"Nice piece of work, Mr. Magnan," Retief said. "You nailed both of -them." - - * * * * * - -"Those undoubtedly are the most bloodthirsty, aggressive, merciless -countenances it has ever been my misfortune to encounter," Magnan said. -"It hardly seems fair. Eight feet tall _and_ faces like that!" - -The smaller of the two captive Qornt ran long, slender fingers over -a bony shin, from which he had turned back the tight-fitting green -trousers. - -"It's not broken," he whistled nasally in passable Terrestrial, eyeing -Magnan through the heavy goggles, now badly cracked. "Small thanks to -you." - -Magnan smiled loftily. "I daresay you'll think twice before interfering -with peaceable diplomats in future." - -"Diplomats? Surely you jest." - -"Never mind us," Retief said. "It's you fellows we'd like to talk -about. How many of you are there?" - -"Only Zubb and myself." - -"I mean altogether. How many Qornt?" - -The alien whistled shrilly. - -"Here, no signalling!" Magnan snapped, looking around. - -"That was merely an expression of amusement." - -"You find the situation amusing? I assure you, sir, you are in perilous -straits at the moment. I _may_ fly into another rage, you know." - -"Please, restrain yourself. I was merely somewhat astonished--" a small -whistle escaped--"at being taken for a Qornt." - -"Aren't you a Qornt?" - -"I? Great snail trails, no!" More stifled whistles of amusement escaped -the beaked face. "Both Zubb and I are Verpp. Naturalists, as it -happens." - -"You certainly _look_ like Qornt." - -"Oh, not at all--except perhaps to a Terrestrial. The Qornt are -sturdily built rascals, all over ten feet in height. And, of course, -they do nothing but quarrel. A drone caste, actually." - -"A caste? You mean they're biologically the same as you?" - -"Not at all! A Verpp wouldn't think of fertilizing a Qornt." - -"I mean to say, you are of the same basic stock--descended from a -common ancestor, perhaps." - -"We are all Pud's creatures." - -"What are the differences between you, then?" - -"Why, the Qornt are argumentive, boastful, lacking in appreciation -for the finer things of life. One dreads to contemplate descending to -_their_ level." - -"Do you know anything about a Note passed to the Terrestrial Ambassador -at Smorbrod?" Retief asked. - - * * * * * - -The beak twitched. "Smorbrod? I know of no place called Smorbrod." - -"The outer planet of this system." - -"Oh, yes. We call it Guzzum. I had heard that some sort of creatures -had established a settlement there, but I confess I pay little note to -such matters." - -"We're wasting time, Retief," Magnan said. "We must truss these chaps -up, hurry back to the boat and make our escape. You heard what they -said." - -"Are there any Qornt down there at the harbor, where the boats are?" -Retief asked. - -"At Tarroon, you mean? Oh, yes. Planning some adventure." - -"That would be the invasion of Smorbrod," Magnan said. "And unless we -hurry, Retief, we're likely to be caught there with the last of the -evacuees!" - -"How many Qornt would you say there are at Tarroon?" - -"Oh, a very large number. Perhaps fifteen or twenty." - -"Fifteen or twenty what?" Magnan looked perplexed. - -"Fifteen or twenty Qornt." - -"You mean that there are only fifteen or twenty individual Qornt in -all?" - -Another whistle. "Not at all. I was referring to the local Qornt only. -There are more at the other Centers, of course." - -"And the Qornt are responsible for the ultimatum--unilaterally?" - -"I suppose so; it sounds like them. A truculent group, you know. And -interplanetary relations _are_ rather a hobby of theirs." - -Zubb moaned and stirred. He sat up slowly, rubbing his head. He spoke -to his companion in a shrill alien clatter of consonants. - -"What did he say?" - -"Poor Zubb. He blames me for his bruises, since it was my idea to -gather you as specimens." - -"You should have known better than to tackle that fierce-looking -creature," Zubb said, pointing his beak at Magnan. - -"How does it happen that you speak Terrestrial?" Retief asked. - -"Oh, one picks up all sorts of dialects." - -"It's quite charming, really," Magnan said. "Such a quaint, archaic -accent." - -"Suppose we went down to Tarroon," Retief asked. "What kind of -reception would we get?" - -"That depends. I wouldn't recommend interfering with the Gwil or the -Rheuk; it's their nest-mending time, you know. The Boog will be busy -mating--such a tedious business--and of course the Qornt are tied up -with their ceremonial feasting. I'm afraid no one will take any notice -of you." - -"Do you mean to say," Magnan demanded, "that these ferocious Qornt, who -have issued an ultimatum to the Corps Diplomatique Terrestrienne--who -openly avow their occupied world--would ignore Terrestrials in their -midst?" - -"If at all possible." - -Retief got to his feet. - -"I think our course is clear, Mr. Magnan. It's up to us to go down and -attract a little attention." - - - III - -"I'm not at all sure we're going about this in the right way," Magnan -puffed, trotting at Retief's side. "These fellows Zubb and Slun--Oh, -they seem affable enough, but how can we be sure we're not being led -into a trap?" - -"We can't." - -Magnan stopped short. "Let's go back." - -"All right," Retief said. "Of course there may be an ambush--" - -Magnan moved off. "Let's keep going." - -The party emerged from the undergrowth at the edge of a great -brush-grown mound. Slun took the lead, rounded the flank of the -hillock, halted at a rectangular opening cut into the slope. - -"You can find your way easily enough from here," he said. "You'll -excuse us, I hope--" - -"Nonsense, Slun!" Zubb pushed forward. "I'll escort our guests to Qornt -Hall." He twittered briefly to his fellow Verpp. Slun twittered back. - -"I don't like it, Retief," Magnan whispered. "Those fellows are -plotting mischief." - -"Threaten them with violence, Mr Magnan. They're scared of you." - -"That's true. And the drubbing they received was well-deserved. I'm a -patient man, but there are occasions--" - -"Come along, please," Zubb called. "Another ten minutes' walk--" - -"See here, we have no interest in investigating this barrow," Magnan -announced. "We wish you to take us direct to Tarroon to interview your -military leaders regarding the ultimatum!" - -"Yes, yes, of course. Qornt Hall lies here inside the village." - -"This is Tarroon?" - -"A modest civic center, sir, but there are those who love it." - -"No wonder we didn't observe their works from the air," Magnan -muttered. "Camouflaged." He moved hesitantly through the opening. - -The party moved along a wide, deserted tunnel which sloped down -steeply, then leveled off and branched. Zubb took the center branch, -ducking slightly under the nine-foot ceiling lit at intervals with what -appeared to be primitive incandescent panels. - -"Few signs of an advanced technology here," Magnan whispered. "These -creatures must devote all their talents to warlike enterprise." - -Ahead, Zubb slowed. A distant susurration was audible, a sustained -high-pitched screeching. "Softly, now. We approach Qornt Hall. They -can be an irascible lot when disturbed at their feasting." - -"When will the feast be over?" Magnan called hoarsely. - -"In another few weeks, I should imagine, if, as you say, they've -scheduled an invasion for next month." - -"Look here, Zubb." Magnan shook a finger at the tall alien. "How is it -that these Qornt are allowed to embark on piratical ventures of this -sort without reference to the wishes of the majority?" - -"Oh, the majority of the Qornt favor the move, I imagine." - -"These few hotheads are permitted to embroil the planet in war?" - -"Oh, they don't embroil the planet in war. They merely--" - -"Retief, this is fantastic! I've heard of iron-fisted military cliques -before, but this is madness!" - -"Come softly, now." Zubb beckoned, moving toward a bend in the -yellow-lit corridor. Retief and Magnan moved forward. - - * * * * * - -The corridor debouched through a high double door into a vast oval -chamber, high-domed, gloomy, paneled in dark wood and hung with -tattered banners, scarred halberds, pikes, rusted longswords, crossed -spears over patinaed hauberks, pitted radiation armor, corroded power -rifles, the immense mummified heads of horned and fanged animals. Great -guttering torches in wall brackets and in stands along the length -of the long table shed a smoky light that reflected from the mirror -polish of the red granite floor, gleamed on polished silver bowls and -paper-thin glass, shone jewel-red and gold through dark bottles--and -cast long flickering shadows behind the fifteen trolls at the board. - -Lesser trolls--beaked, bush-haired, great-eyed--trotted briskly, -bird-kneed, bearing steaming platters, stood in groups of -three strumming slender bottle-shaped lutes, or pranced an -intricate-patterned dance, unnoticed in the shrill uproar as each of -the magnificently draped, belted, feathered and jeweled Qornt carried -on a shouted conversation with an equally noisy fellow. - -"A most interesting display of barbaric splendor," Magnan breathed. -"Now we'd better be getting back." - -"Ah, a moment," Zubb said. "Observe the Qornt--the tallest of the -feasters--he with the head-dress of crimson, purple, silver and pink." - -"Twelve feet if he's an inch," Magnan estimated. "And now we really -must hurry along--" - -"That one is chief among these rowdies. I'm sure you'll want a word -with him. He controls not only the Tarroonian vessels but those from -the other Centers as well." - -"What kind of vessels? Warships?" - -"Certainly. What other kind would the Qornt bother with?" - -"I don't suppose," Magnan said casually, "that you'd know the type, -tonnage, armament and manning of these vessels? And how many units -comprise the fleet? And where they're based at present?" - -"They're fully automated twenty-thousand-ton all-purpose dreadnaughts. -They mount a variety of weapons. The Qornt are fond of that sort of -thing. Each of the Qornt has his own, of course. They're virtually -identical, except for the personal touches each individual has given -his ship." - -"Great heavens, Retief!" Magnan exclaimed in a whisper. "It sounds as -though these brutes employ a battle armada as simpler souls might a set -of toy sailboats!" - -Retief stepped past Magnan and Zubb to study the feasting hall. "I can -see that their votes would carry all the necessary weight." - -"And now an interview with the Qorn himself," Zubb shrilled. "If you'll -kindly step along, gentlemen...." - -"That won't be necessary," Magnan said hastily, "I've decided to refer -the matter to committee." - -"After having come so far," Zubb said, "it would be a pity to miss -having a cosy chat." - -There was a pause. - -"Ah ... Retief," Magnan said. "Zubb has just presented a most -compelling argument...." - - * * * * * - -Retief turned. Zubb stood gripping an ornately decorated power pistol -in one bony hand, a slim needler in the other. Both were pointed at -Magnan's chest. - -"I suspected you had hidden qualities, Zubb," Retief commented. - -"See here, Zubb! We're diplomats!" Magnan started. - -"Careful, Mr. Magnan; you may goad him to a frenzy." - -"By no means," Zubb whistled. "I much prefer to observe the frenzy -of the Qornt when presented with the news that two peaceful Verpp -have been assaulted and kidnapped by bullying interlopers. If there's -anything that annoys the Qornt, it's Qornt-like behavior in others. Now -step along, please." - -"Rest assured, this will be reported!" - -"I doubt it." - -"You'll face the wrath of Enlightened Galactic Opinion!" - -"Oh? How big a navy does Enlightened Galactic Opinion have?" - -"Stop scaring him, Mr. Magnan. He may get nervous and shoot." Retief -stepped into the banquet hall, headed for the resplendent figure at -the head of the table. A trio of flute-players broke off in mid-bleat, -staring. An inverted pyramid of tumblers blinked as Retief swung past, -followed by Magnan and the tall Verpp. The shrill chatter at the table -faded. - -Qorn turned as Retief came up, blinking three-inch eyes. Zubb stepped -forward, gibbered, waving his arms excitedly. Qorn pushed back his -chair--a low, heavily padded stool--and stared unwinking at Retief, -moving his head to bring first one great round eye, then the other, to -bear. There were small blue veins in the immense fleshy beak. The bushy -hair, springing out in a giant halo around the grayish, porous-skinned -face, was wiry, stiff, moss-green, with tufts of chartreuse fuzz -surrounding what appeared to be tympanic membranes. The tall head-dress -of scarlet silk and purple feathers was slightly askew, and a loop of -pink pearls had slipped down above one eye. - -Zubb finished his speech and fell silent, breathing hard. - -Qorn looked Retief over in silence, then belched. - -"Not bad," Retief said admiringly. "Maybe we could get up a match -between you and Ambassador Sternwheeler. You've got the volume on him, -but he's got timbre." - -"So," Qorn hooted in a resonant tenor. "You come from Guzzum, eh? Or -Smorbrod, as I think you call it. What is it you're after? More time? -A compromise? Negotiations? Peace?" He slammed a bony hand against the -table. "The answer is _no_!" - -Zubb twittered. Qorn cocked an eye, motioned to a servant. "Chain that -one." He indicated Magnan. His eyes went to Retief. "This one's bigger; -you'd best chain him, too." - -"Why, your Excellency--" Magnan started, stepping forward. - -"Stay back!" Qorn hooted. "Stand over there where I can keep an eye on -you." - -"Your Excellency, I'm empowered--" - -"Not here, you're not!" Qorn trumpeted. "Want peace, do you? Well, I -don't want peace! I've had a surfeit of peace these last two centuries! -I want action! Loot! Adventure! Glory!" He turned to look down the -table. "How about it, fellows? It's war to the knife, eh?" - - * * * * * - -There was a momentary silence from all sides. - -"I guess so," grunted a giant Qornt in iridescent blue with -flame-colored plumes. - -Qorn's eyes bulged. He half rose. "We've been all over this," he -bassooned. He clamped bony fingers on the hilt of a light rapier. "I -thought I'd made my point!" - -"Oh, sure, Qorn." - -"You bet." - -"I'm convinced." - -Qorn rumbled and resumed his seat. "All for one and one for all, that's -us." - -"And you're the one, eh, Qorn?" Retief commented. - -Magnan cleared his throat. "I sense that some of you gentlemen are not -convinced of the wisdom of this move," he piped, looking along the -table at the silks, jewels, beaks, feather-decked crests and staring -eyes. - -"Silence!" Qorn hooted. "No use your talking to my loyal lieutenants -anyway," he added. "They do whatever I convince them they ought to do." - -"But I'm sure that on more mature consideration--" - -"I can lick any Qornt in the house." Qorn said. "That's why I'm Qorn." -He belched again. - -A servant came up staggering under a weight of chain, dropped it with a -crash at Magnan's feet. Zubb aimed the guns while the servant wrapped -three loops around Magnan's wrists, snapped a lock in place. - -"You next!" The guns pointed at Retief's chest. He held out his arms. -Four loops of silvery-gray chain in half-inch links dropped around -them. The servant cinched them up tight, squeezed a lock through the -ends and closed it. - -"Now," Qorn said, lolling back in his chair, glass in hand. "There's a -bit of sport to be had here, lads. What shall we do with them?" - -"Let them go," the blue and flame Qornt said glumly. - -"You can do better than that," Qorn hooted. "Now here's a suggestion: -we carve them up a little--lop off the external labiae and pinnae, -say--and ship them back." - -"Good lord! Retief, he's talking about cutting off our ears and sending -us home mutilated! What a barbaric proposal!" - -"It wouldn't be the first time a Terrestrial diplomat got a trimming," -Retief commented. - -"It should have the effect of stimulating the Terries to put up a -reasonable scrap," Qorn said judiciously. "I have a feeling that -they're thinking of giving up without a struggle." - -"Oh, I doubt that," the blue-and-flame Qornt said. "Why should they?" - -Qorn rolled an eye at Retief and another at Magnan. "Take these two," -he hooted. "I'll wager they came here to negotiate a surrender!" - -"Well," Magnan started. - -"Hold it, Mr. Magnan," Retief said. "I'll tell him." - -"What's your proposal?" Qorn whistled, taking a gulp from his goblet. -"A fifty-fifty split? Monetary reparations? Alternate territory? I can -assure you, it's useless. We Qornt _like_ to fight." - -"I'm afraid you've gotten the wrong impression, your Excellency," -Retief said blandly. "We didn't come to negotiate. We came to deliver -an Ultimatum." - -"What?" Qorn trumpeted. Behind Retief, Magnan spluttered. - -"We plan to use this planet for target practice," Retief said. "A new -type hell bomb we've worked out. Have all your people off of it in -seventy-two hours, or suffer the consequences." - - - IV - -"You have the gall," Qorn stormed, "to stand here in the center of -Qornt Hall--uninvited, at that--and in chains--" - -"Oh, these," Retief said. He tensed his arms. The soft aluminum links -stretched and broke. He shook the light metal free. "We diplomats like -to go along with colorful local customs, but I wouldn't want to mislead -you. Now, as to the evacuation of Roolit I--" - -Zubb screeched, waved the guns. The Qornt were jabbering. - -"I told you they were brutes," Zubb shrilled. - -Qorn slammed his fist down on the table. "I don't care what they are!" -he honked. "Evacuate, hell! I can field eighty-five combat-ready ships!" - -"And we can englobe every one of them with a thousand Peace Enforcers -with a hundred megatons/second firepower each." - -"Retief." Magnan tugged at his sleeve. "Don't forget their superdrive." - -"That's all right. They don't have one." - -"But--" - -"We'll take you on!" Qorn French-horned. "We're the Qorn! We glory in -battle! We live in fame or go down in--" - -"Hogwash," the flame-and-blue Qorn cut in. "If it wasn't for you, Qorn, -we could sit around and feast and brag and enjoy life without having to -prove anything." - -"Qorn, you seem to be the fire-brand here," Retief said. "I think the -rest of the boys would listen to reason--" - -"Over my dead body!" - -"My idea exactly," Retief said. "You claim you can lick any man in -the house. Unwind yourself from your ribbons and step out here on the -floor, and we'll see how good you are at backing up your conversation." - - * * * * * - -Magnan hovered at Retief's side. "Twelve feet tall," he moaned. "And -did you notice the size of those hands?" - -Retief watched as Qorn's aides helped him out of his formal trappings. -"I wouldn't worry too much, Mr. Magnan. This is a light-Gee world. I -doubt if old Qorn would weigh up at more than two-fifty standard pounds -here." - -"But that phenomenal reach--" - -"I'll peck away at him at knee level. When he bends over to swat me, -I'll get a crack at him." - -Across the cleared floor, Qorn shook off his helpers with a snort. - -"Enough! Let me at the upstart!" - -Retief moved out to meet him, watching the upraised backward-jointed -arms. Qorn stalked forward, long lean legs bent, long horny feet -clacking against the polished floor. The other aliens--both servitors -and bejeweled Qornt--formed a wide circle, all eyes unwaveringly on the -combatants. - -Qorn struck suddenly, a long arm flashing down in a vicious cut at -Retief, who leaned aside, caught one lean shank below the knee. Qorn -bent to haul Retief from his leg--and staggered back as a haymaker took -him just below the beak. A screech went up from the crowd as Retief -leaped clear. - -Qorn hissed and charged. Retief whirled aside, then struck the alien's -off-leg in a flying tackle. Qorn leaned, arms windmilling, crashed to -the floor. Retief whirled, dived for the left arm, whipped it behind -the narrow back, seized Qorn's neck in a stranglehold and threw his -weight backward. Qorn fell on his back, his legs squatted out at an -awkward angle. He squawked and beat his free arm on the floor, reaching -in vain for Retief. - -Zubb stepped forward, pistols ready. Magnan stepped before him. - -"Need I remind you, sir," he said icily, "that this is an official -diplomatic function? I can brook no interference from disinterested -parties." - -Zubb hesitated. Magnan held out a hand. "I must ask you to hand me your -weapons, Zubb." - -"Look here," Zubb began. - -"I _may_ lose my temper," Magnan hinted. Zubb lowered the guns, passed -them to Magnan. He thrust them into his belt with a sour smile, turned -back to watch the encounter. - -Retief had thrown a turn of violet silk around Qorn's left wrist, bound -it to the alien's neck. Another wisp of stuff floated from Qorn's -shoulder. Retief, still holding Qorn in an awkward sprawl, wrapped -it around one outflung leg, trussed ankle and thigh together. Qorn -flopped, hooting. At each movement, the constricting loop around his -neck, jerked his head back, the green crest tossing wildly. - -"If I were you, I'd relax," Retief said, rising and releasing his grip. -Qorn got a leg under him; Retief kicked it. Qorn's chin hit the floor -with a hollow clack. He wilted, an ungainly tangle of over-long limbs -and gay silks. - -Retief turned to the watching crowd. "Next?" he called. - -The blue and flame Qornt stepped forward. "Maybe this would be a good -time to elect a new leader," he said. "Now, my qualifications--" - -"Sit down," Retief said loudly. He stepped to the head of the table, -seated himself in Qorn's vacated chair. "A couple of you finish -trussing Qorn up for me." - -"But we must select a leader!" - -"That won't be necessary, boys. I'm your new leader." - - * * * * * - -"As I see it," Retief said, dribbling cigar ashes into an empty wine -glass, "you Qornt like to be warriors, but you don't particularly like -to fight." - -"We don't mind a little fighting--within reason. And, of course, as -Qornt, we're expected to die in battle. But what I say is, why rush -things?" - -"I have a suggestion," Magnan said. "Why not turn the reins of -government over to the Verpp? They seem a level-headed group." - -"What good would that do? Qornt are Qornt. It seems there's always one -among us who's a slave to instinct--and, naturally, we have to follow -him." - -"Why?" - -"Because that's the way it's done." - -"Why not do it another way?" Magnan offered. "Now, I'd like to suggest -community singing--" - -"If we gave up fighting, we might live too long. Then what would -happen?" - -"Live too long?" Magnan looked puzzled. - -"When estivating time comes there'd be no burrows for us. Anyway, with -the new Qornt stepping on our heels--" - -"I've lost the thread," Magnan said. "Who are the new Qornt?" - -"After estivating, the Verpp moult, and then they're Qornt, of course. -The Gwil become Boog, the Boog become Rheuk, the Rheuk metamorphosize -into Verpp--" - -"You mean Slun and Zubb--the mild-natured naturalists--will become -warmongers like Qorn?" - -"Very likely. 'The milder the Verpp, the wilder the Qorn,' as the old -saying goes." - -"What do Qornt turn into?" Retief asked. - -"Hmmmm. That's a good question. So far, none have survived Qornthood." - -"Have you thought of forsaking your warlike ways?" Magnan asked. "What -about taking up sheepherding and regular church attendance?" - -"Don't mistake me. We Qornt like a military life. It's great sport to -sit around roaring fires and drink and tell lies and then go dashing -off to enjoy a brisk affray and some leisurely looting afterward. But -we prefer a nice numerical advantage. Not this business of tackling you -Terrestrials over on Guzzum--that was a mad notion. We had no idea what -your strength was." - -"But now that's all off, of course," Magnan chirped. "Now that we've -had diplomatic relations and all--" - -"Oh, by no means. The fleet lifts in thirty days. After all, we're -Qornt; we have to satisfy our drive to action." - -"But Mr. Retief is your leader now. He won't let you!" - -"Only a dead Qornt stays home when Attack day comes. And even if -he orders us all to cut our own throats, there are still the other -Centers--all with their own leaders. No, gentlemen, the Invasion is -definitely on." - -"Why don't you go invade somebody else?" Magnan suggested. "I could -name some very attractive prospects--outside my sector, of course." - -"Hold everything," Retief said. "I think we've got the basis of a deal -here...." - - - V - -At the head of a double column of gaudily caparisoned Qornt, Retief -and Magnan strolled across the ramp toward the bright tower of the CDT -Sector HQ. Ahead, gates opened, and a black Corps limousine emerged, -flying an Ambassadorial flag under a plain square of white. - -"Curious," Magnan commented. "I wonder what the significance of the -white ensign might be?" - -Retief raised a hand. The column halted with a clash of accoutrements -and a rasp of Qornt boots. Retief looked back along the line. The high -white sun flashed on bright silks, polished buckles, deep-dyed plumes, -butts of pistols, the soft gleam of leather. - -"A brave show indeed," Magnan commented approvingly. "I confess the -idea has merit." - -The limousine pulled up with a squeal of brakes, stood on two fat-tired -wheels, gyros humming softly. The hatch popped up. A portly diplomat -stepped out. - -"Why, Ambassador Nitworth," Magnan glowed. "This is very kind of you." - -"Keep cool, Magnan," Nitworth said in a strained voice. "We'll attempt -to get you out of this." - -He stepped past Magnan's out-stretched hand and looked hesitantly at -the ramrod-straight line of Qornt, eighty-five strong--and beyond, at -the eighty-five tall Qornt dreadnaughts. - -"Good afternoon, sir ... ah, Your Excellency," Nitworth said, blinking -up at the leading Qornt. "You are Commander of the Strike Force, I -assume?" - -"Nope," the Qornt said shortly. - -"I ... ah ... wish to request seventy-two hours in which to evacuate -Headquarters," Nitworth plowed on. - -"Mr. Ambassador." Retief said. "This--" - -"Don't panic, Retief. I'll attempt to secure your release," Nitworth -hissed over his shoulder. "Now--" - -"You will address our leader with more respect!" the tall Qornt hooted, -eyeing Nitworth ominously from eleven feet up. - -"Oh, yes indeed, sir ... your Excellency ... Commander. Now, about the -invasion--" - -"Mr. Secretary," Magnan tugged at Nitworth's sleeve. - -"In heaven's name, permit me to negotiate in peace!" Nitworth snapped. -He rearranged his features. "Now your Excellency, we've arranged to -evacuate Smorbrod, of course, just as you requested--" - -"Requested?" the Qornt honked. - -"Ah ... demanded, that is. Quite rightly of course. Ordered. -Instructed. And, of course, we'll be only too pleased to follow any -other instructions you might have." - -"You don't quite get the big picture, Mr. Secretary," Retief said. -"This isn't--" - -"Silence, confound you!" Nitworth barked. The leading Qornt looked at -Retief. He nodded. Two bony hands shot out, seized Nitworth and stuffed -a length of bright pink silk into his mouth, then spun him around and -held him facing Retief. - -"If you don't mind my taking this opportunity to brief you, Mr. -Ambassador," Retief said blandly. "I think I should mention that this -isn't an invasion fleet. These are the new recruits for the Peace -Enforcement Corps." - -Magnan stepped forward, glanced at the gag in Ambassador Nitworth's -mouth, hesitated, then cleared his throat. "We felt," he said, "that -the establishment of a Foreign Brigade within the P. E. Corps structure -would provide the element of novelty the Department has requested -in our recruiting, and at the same time would remove the stigma of -Terrestrial chauvinism from future punitive operations." - -Nitworth stared, eyes bulging. He grunted, reaching for the gag, caught -the Qornt's eye on him, dropped his hands to his sides. - -"I suggest we get the troops in out of the hot sun," Retief said. -Magnan edged close. "What about the gag?" he whispered. - -"Let's leave it where it is for a while," Retief murmured. "It may save -us a few concessions." - - * * * * * - -An hour later, Nitworth, breathing freely again, glowered across his -desk at Retief and Magnan. - -"This entire affair," he rumbled, "has made me appear to be a fool!" - -"But we who are privileged to serve on your staff already know just how -clever you are," Magnan burbled. - -Nitworth purpled. "You're skirting insolence, Magnan," he roared. "Why -was I not informed of the arrangements? What was I to assume at the -sight of eighty-five war vessels over my headquarters, unannounced?" - -"We tried to get through, but our wavelengths--" - -"Bah! Sterner souls than I would have quailed at the spectacle!" - -"Oh, you were perfectly justified in panicking--" - -"I did _not_ panic!" Nitworth bellowed. "I merely adjusted to the -apparent circumstances. Now, I'm of two minds as to the advisability of -this foreign legion idea of yours. Still, it may have merit. I believe -the wisest course would be to dispatch them on a long training cruise -in an uninhabited sector of space--" - -The office windows rattled. "What the devil!" Nitworth turned, stared -out at the ramp where a Qornt ship rose slowly on a column of pale blue -light. The vibration increased as a second ship lifted, then a third. - -Nitworth whirled on Magnan. "What's this! Who ordered these recruits to -embark without my permission?" - -"I took the liberty of giving them an errand to run, Mr. Secretary," -Retief said. "There was that little matter of the Groaci infiltrating -the Sirenian System. I sent the boys off to handle it." - -"Call them back at once!" - -"I'm afraid that won't be possible. They're under orders to maintain -total communications silence until completion of the mission." - -Nitworth drummed his fingers on the desk top. Slowly, a thoughtful -expression dawned. He nodded. - -"This may work out," he said. "I _should_ call them back, but since -the fleet is out of contact, I'm unable to do so, correct? Thus I can -hardly be held responsible for any over-enthusiasm in chastising the -Groaci." - -He closed one eye in a broad wink at Magnan. "Very well, gentlemen, -I'll overlook the irregularity this time. Magnan, see to it the -Smorbrodian public are notified they can remain where they are. And -by the way, did you by any chance discover the technique of the -indetectable drive the Qornt use?" - -"No, sir. That is, yes, sir." - -"Well? Well?" - -"There isn't any. The Qornt were there all the while. Underground." - -"Underground? Doing what?" - -"Hibernating--for two hundred years at a stretch." - - * * * * * - -Outside in the corridor, Magnan came up to Retief, who stood talking to -a tall man in a pilot's coverall. - -"I'll be tied up, sending through full details on my--our--your -recruiting theme, Retief," Magnan said. "Suppose you run into the city -to assist the new Verpp Consul in settling in." - -"I'll do that, Mr. Magnan. Anything else?" - -Magnan raised his eyebrows. "You're remarkably compliant today, Retief. -I'll arrange transportation." - -"Don't bother, Mr. Magnan. Cy here will run me over. He was the pilot -who ferried us over to Roolit I, you recall." - -"I'll be with you as soon as I pack a few phone numbers, Retief," the -pilot said. He moved off. Magnan followed him with a disapproving eye. -"An uncouth sort, I fancied. I trust you're not consorting with his -kind socially." - -"I wouldn't say that, exactly," Retief said. "We just want to go over a -few figures together." - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Mightiest Qorn, by Keith Laumer - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIGHTIEST QORN *** - -***** This file should be named 61434.txt or 61434.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/1/4/3/61434/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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