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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 61124 ***
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                         Transcriber's Notes
+
+    1. Typographical errors were silently corrected.
+
+    2. The text version is coded for italics and other mark-ups i.e.,
+    (a) Italics are indicated thus _italic_;
+    (b) Bold thus =bold=; and
+    (c) Images are indicated as [Illustration];
+    (d) Footnotes are placed at the end.
+
+                         *    *    *    *    *
+
+
+
+
+                        PSYCHOANALYSIS AND LOVE
+
+
+
+
+                            PSYCHOANALYSIS
+                               AND LOVE
+
+                                  BY
+                             ANDRE TRIDON
+
+                               Member of
+
+             "The Medico-Legal Society of New York City,"
+      "The Society for Forensic Medicine of New York City," and
+ "The International Association for Individual Psychology of Vienna,
+                               Austria."
+
+                            [Illustration]
+
+                               NEW YORK
+                              BRENTANO'S
+                              PUBLISHERS
+
+
+
+
+                          Copyright, 1922, by
+                              BRENTANO'S
+
+                      _All rights reserved_
+
+
+                PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
+
+
+
+
+                               CONTENTS
+
+ CHAPTER                                                            PAGE
+
+      I THE HEAD AND THE HEART                                         1
+            Love is independent from the will.
+        Victims of Venus. Love and affection.
+        Erotropism. What is the heart? A dead
+        heart can be made to beat. The heart is
+        a respectable organ. The antithesis head-heart.
+        Nerve memory.
+
+     II THE CHOICE OF A MATE                                          10
+            What we see in our mate. The meaning
+        of choice. The donkey's dilemma.
+        Chance in the discard. The dog's choice.
+        The behavior of copepods.
+
+    III THE QUEST OF THE FETISH                                       17
+            The hair fetishist. Everybody a fetishist.
+        Most common fetishes. The
+        breast and the bottle. Feminine fetishes.
+        Physiological necessities. Foot and shoe
+        fetishism. Non-physical fetishes. Symbolical
+        fetishes. Antifetishes. Attraction
+        or obsession?
+
+     IV THE FAMILY ROMANCE AND THE FAMILY FEUD                        29
+            The Oedipus complex. The Freudian
+        view. Jung's interpretation. Adler.
+        Pseudo-incest. The Neurotic life plan.
+        Imitation. The glands. Identification
+        mania. Early conflicts. Death wishes.
+        Our preferences. Craig's birds.
+
+      V INCEST                                                        41
+            The incest fear. Incest in ancient
+        times. Inbreeding. The primal horde.
+        Repressed incestuous feelings. Blood
+        relations.
+
+     VI THE PHYSIOLOGY OF LOVE                                        49
+            The organism a unit. Love's stimulation.
+        The successful lover. The unsuccessful
+        lover. Calf love.
+
+    VII THE SENSES IN LOVE                                            56
+            Sight. Auditory sensations. Smell.
+        The sense of taste. Touch. Holding
+        hands. The kiss. The birth of the kiss.
+        Kisses and electricity.
+
+   VIII EGO AND SEX                                                   65
+            Neurotic complications. Self-love. Ego
+        in sex guise. Fatherhood. War prisoners.
+        Neurotic motherliness. When ego
+        and sex do not conflict.
+
+     IX HATRED AND LOVE                                               73
+            A worried wife. The test of love.
+        Sour grapes. Brothers and sisters. A
+        negro hater. Reformers. The syphilophobiac.
+        Deluded martyrs.
+
+      X PLURAL LOVE AND INFIDELITY                                    83
+            Polyandry. Infidelity. When love dies.
+        Iwan Bloch's and Hirth's theories. Bored
+        wives. Getting even. Varietists and
+        Don Juans. The ultra-feminine. Messalina.
+
+     XI IS FREE LOVE POSSIBLE?                                        95
+            Man, the dissatisfied. The next step.
+        Blissful blindness. What of the child?
+        Disharmony between the parents. The
+        institution child. Free love plus birth
+        control.
+
+    XII PROSTITUTION                                                 104
+            Economic factors. Lombrosos's theory.
+        Sensuality. Father fixation. Prostitution
+        a neurosis. The pimp. Prevention.
+        Prostitution has no redeeming grace.
+
+   XIII VIRGINITY                                                    112
+            What men experienced in love want?
+        Ethical prostitution. The fear of woman.
+        The will-to-be-the-first. Telegony.
+        Goldschmidt's explanations.
+
+    XIV MODESTY, NORMAL AND ABNORMAL                                 122
+            In Turkey. On the modern stage.
+        Normal modesty. Suggestive draperies.
+        Excessive modesty. Immodest modesty.
+        Fear of love. The masculine protest.
+        Lack of modesty.
+
+     XV JEALOUSY                                                     133
+            Forel's rules for husbands. Very few
+        men and women admit their jealousy.
+        Jealousy and impotence. Childish behavior.
+        The ego rampant. Sexless jealousy.
+        Husbands and lovers. Cruelty.
+        Making people jealous.
+
+    XVI INSANE JEALOUSY                                              147
+            Delusional jealousy. Homosexualism
+        and jealousy. A jealous wife. A case
+        of projection. Masked sadism.
+
+   XVII HOMOSEXUALISM. ITS GENESIS                                   155
+            Male lovers in Greece. Women were
+        harem slaves. The tide turns. Theories.
+        The third sex. Transvestites. Are
+        transvestites homosexual? Metatropism.
+        Steinach's experiments. Perverse birds.
+        Freud denies the third sex. Active and
+        passive types. The homosexual neurosis.
+        A safety device. Above and below.
+        A way out. The escape from biological
+        duties.
+
+  XVIII HOMOSEXUALISM A NEUROTIC SYMPTOM                             174
+            A denial of life. Homosexualism is
+        negative love. The love letters of famous
+        homosexuals. Deeds of violence. A
+        homosexual tragedy. Women more homosexual
+        than men. Boastful homosexuals.
+        The Nietzsche-Wagner feud. Shall
+        perverse love be recognized? Man's
+        emancipation from woman. Homosexualism
+        and war. Is homosexualism necessary?
+
+    XIX CRUELTY AND LOVE--SADISM                                      188
+            Algolagnists. The Marquis de Sade's
+        biography. What Bonaparte thought of
+        him. Glandular drunkenness. Atavism.
+        Primitive religions. Primitive races and
+        sex violence. Animal love fights. The
+        sadistic mob. Is the male more cruel?
+
+     XX LOVE THAT CRAVES SUFFERING--MASOCHISM                        200
+            Sacher Masoch's biography. Love of
+        the whip. The masochist is like a tired
+        horse. Shoe fetishism. Craving for
+        humiliation. Masochistic fancies. Are
+        women masochistic? Women who enjoy
+        a beating. A Freudian suggestion.
+
+    XXI WHAT LOVE OWES TO SADISTS AND
+        MASOCHISTS                                                   212
+            Sadistic and masochistic lovers and
+        their fascination. The vamp. Those who
+        are too normal to be interesting or romantic.
+
+   XXII LOVE AMONG THE ARTISTS                                       216
+            Dissatisfaction. The male artist. The
+        female artist. The woman who accomplishes
+        things. Flattery.
+
+  XXIII THE PERSONALITY BEHIND THE FETISHES.
+        GLANDS                                                       223
+            The parent-child relationship. Modern
+        endocrinologists ignorant of psychology.
+        Reciprocal influence of glands and behavior.
+        The pituitary gland. The thyroid.
+        The adrenals. The gonads.
+
+   XXIV GLANDULAR PERSONALITIES                                      233
+            The dark skinned type. The tall type.
+        The lean type. The obese type. The
+        slender type. Environment. Comfort and
+        behavior. What teeth indicate. Matrimonial
+        engineers.
+
+    XXV LOVE AND MOTHER LOVE                                         241
+            Sex cravings and motherhood cravings.
+        Pregnancy means health. Fear of pregnancy.
+        When mother love is lacking.
+        Frigid wives. Mother and father love.
+        Mothers adore their sons. Fathers partial
+        to daughters. The flapper and her
+        mother.
+
+   XXVI SHOULD WINTER MATE WITH SPRING?                              251
+            Two disinterested brides. The case of
+        Wagner. A parent fixation. Physical
+        incompatibility. The plight of two neurotics.
+        What will people say? Having
+        her fixation-fling. Physical results. The
+        fate of the younger mate. King David.
+
+  XXVII NEGATIVE LOVE                                                263
+            A "clean" life. Utterances and conduct.
+        Oracles and prophecies. Can we
+        save our vital force. Sublimation. The
+        sexless. Ideal love. Protective measures.
+        Lovers of the absolute. A troublesome
+        patient. Higher aspirations.
+
+ XXVIII THE NEW WOMAN AND LOVE                                       275
+            George Bernard Shaw's view. The rebellion
+        against nature. Woman in commercial
+        life. Was it a sacrifice? The
+        pursuit. The passing of respectable prostitution.
+        The abettor of ethical sins.
+        Health versus sickness. The passing of
+        the flirt and of the doll. Modesty, old
+        and new. The unadapted woman. The
+        proud husband.
+
+   XXIX BIRTH CONTROL                                                291
+            What we expect of the modern woman.
+        The only solution. The human milch
+        cow. The nightmare of abortion. The
+        plight of the neurotic woman. The child
+        of the neurotic woman. Birth control
+        and indulgence. A great love is a holy
+        thing. The passing of the double standard.
+
+    XXX THE PASSING OF THE HUSBAND WORSHIP                           303
+            Is man's vitality declining? Undue
+        pessimism. The wise husband. Is the
+        male indispensable? Loeb's experiments.
+        Twins to order. The mother is the
+        race. Matriarchal communities. Modern
+        woman is conceited. The terrors of the
+        climacteric. Masculine man is in no danger
+        of passing away.
+
+   XXXI PERFECT MATRIMONIAL ADJUSTMENTS                              315
+            Marriage a compromise. Attractiveness
+        an asset. Forty and hideous. Athletic
+        movie idols. The foe of married
+        happiness. Friendship may survive love.
+        Separate vacations for the married. The
+        play function of love. Psychoanalysis
+        to the rescue. Wounded egotism. Democracy
+        in the home.
+
+
+
+
+                             INTRODUCTION
+
+
+Life would be much simpler if love among human beings were similar to
+love among the animals. At mating time, any animal of any species feels
+automatically attracted to any animal of the opposite sex belonging to
+the same species. Age, appearance or relationship seem of no account
+in the animal world. The love activities begin at a definite time of
+the year, have as their obvious and exclusive purpose the reproduction
+of the species and, after attaining their goal, end very early in the
+summer of the same year. An exception may be made for a few wild and
+domesticated animals which have several mating seasons and for a few
+survivals of the prehistoric fauna, like the elephants, among which the
+family group seems more permanent than among more "recent" biological
+specimens.
+
+Nor do love activities among the animals result in lasting disturbances
+of their psychological life. In certain varieties of fish the male
+never even sees the female whose eggs he fecundates. While we observe
+at times duels to the death between two males for the possession of
+one female (elks or moose), animal life seems to suffer few lasting
+complications from the fact of such conflicts, which, like animal love,
+are purely seasonal.
+
+A greater regularity of the food supply which has intensified the sex
+urge among human beings and removed its seasonal character, and the
+progress of civilization which, for economic reasons, has placed upon
+the union of male and female a thousand restrictions, has complicated
+terribly what was merely among animals a periodic biological activity.
+
+Restrictions, however, never bring about the complete suppression of
+biological cravings and merely compel them to remain repressed for
+varying periods of time. Repressed cravings, denied a direct normal
+outlet, create for themselves indirect, morbid outlets.
+
+We are little more than civilized animals who have been trained not to
+reveal their primal cravings at certain forbidden times and places.
+
+The cravings are there, struggling for expression and denial of their
+reality does not suffice to make them unreal. It only invests them with
+morbidity and abnormality.
+
+Much of the fearsome mystery which surrounds sex is due to the fact
+that we have forgotten our origin. We have set up a goal which, like
+all goals worth striving for, is far ahead of the human procession and
+somewhere between the earth and the stars. But that goal should not
+cause us to forget our starting point.
+
+It happens too often that "what we should be" blinds us to "what we
+really are." Hence our surprise, our puzzled expression, our painful
+disappointment, when one of us reveals himself suddenly as he is
+instead of as he should be. Hence our absurd statutes which punish the
+laggards on the road of evolution instead of helping them along. Hence
+our fears in the presence of a mystery we have made mysterious, of a
+danger we have made dangerous and which we make more terrifying yet by
+burying our heads in the sand.
+
+To this day the study of love has been considered as the almost
+exclusive province of poets, playwrights, novelists, movie authors and
+philosophers.
+
+Those people have reveled in love's dramatic complications which they
+have, whenever possible, exaggerated, for "artistic" reasons. Instead
+of clarifying the problem, they have beclouded it.
+
+In anglo-saxon countries a class of neurotics countenanced by the
+police and the courts, the puritans, have further distorted the
+popular misconception of love by swathing it in the morbid veils woven
+by their unhealthy minds.
+
+It is high time, therefore, that the subject of love be reviewed from
+an impartial angle, from a purely scientific point of view.
+
+Only one science is qualified to undertake that review, psychoanalysis,
+for it has effected in the last twenty years a synthesis of all the
+data which biology, neurology, endocrinology and other sciences have
+contributed to the knowledge of human psychology and of the human
+personality.
+
+No scientist is satisfied with his findings unless they can be
+described in terms of accurate measurements, hence, repeated and
+checked up by any other scientist having acquired the requisite minimum
+of technical skill.
+
+The basis for such a study of love was established by the great pioneer
+in the science of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud of Vienna.
+
+By his masterly analysis of the sex life, to which, however, he has
+ascribed an undue importance, he has stripped love of many veils
+which made it look like a scarecrow. His successors, recognizing the
+importance of other factors in the love life, ego cravings, organic
+predispositions, etc., have in turn stripped love of other veils which
+made it look too romantically unreal.
+
+Thus we are gradually reaching the heart of the problem.
+
+Love to-day is no longer animal love, nor is it as yet angelic love. We
+are no longer beasts, altho the primal beast still disports itself in
+our unconscious. Nor are we angels, arduous as our striving toward the
+stars may be. To determine what love should be, could be or might be,
+seems to be an academic waste of time and little else.
+
+To determine, on the other hand, what love REALLY IS AT THE PRESENT
+DAY, what actual level it has reached, to explain some of the
+difficulties it encounters in trying to remain on that level, and
+finally to suggest to MEN AND WOMEN OF TO-DAY workable modes
+of adaption at that level, shall be the mission of this book.
+
+In the coming chapters, I will show that our choice of a mate is as
+completely "determined" as any other biological phenomenon; that the
+"reasons" for that choice are compelling "habits" acquired in our
+childhood and infancy within the family circle; that our "standards of
+beauty" are memories from childhood and infancy; that in our search
+for a mate we are influenced as powerfully by ego and safety cravings
+as by sex cravings that the so-called "perversions" are due, at times,
+to wrong training, at times, to organic disabilities and at times
+to unrecognized safety cravings; that jealousy is, in the majority
+of cases, due to ego cravings, not to sex cravings; finally that no
+perfect adjustment of the married relation can be brought about until
+democracy obtains in the home, replacing the various forms of autocracy
+against which bullied wives and henpecked husbands have directed many
+ineffective, neurotic revolts.
+
+
+ New York City
+
+ June 1, 1922
+
+
+
+
+                        PSYCHOANALYSIS AND LOVE
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER I
+
+                        THE HEAD AND THE HEART
+
+
+Love, like hunger, fear or pain, is an absolutely involuntary craving.
+
+We may deny it expression and gratification, even as we may pretend
+that we are not hungry, afraid or in pain, and go without food,
+protection or relief from pain; but no exertion on our part will
+prevent us from experiencing love and craving its gratification. Nor
+can we experience it thru an act of will.
+
+This absolutely involuntary character of the love craving must be borne
+in mind whenever we discuss the complicated and at times puzzling
+relations which it brings about between human beings.
+
+The attitude of the average person to this question is extremely vague
+and illogical. The person obsessed by love cravings which are not
+meeting with the approval of his environment, justifies himself by
+stating loudly the overpowering character of his feelings:
+
+"I cannot help loving him or her," "It is a feeling stronger than
+myself," "It came over me suddenly," "It was a case of love at first
+sight."
+
+=Victims of Venus.= The ancients expressed their strong belief
+in man's helplessness against the allpowerful fascination of the love
+object by calling the lovelorn a victim of Cupid or of Venus, a puppet
+of the gods, of fate.
+
+And on the other hand, we behold modern and ancient lovers, whenever
+they feel that the love object is growing indifferent to them,
+reversing their attitude, denying their belief in love's involuntary
+character, and using words like fickle, changeling, to designate the
+love object they are losing. They speak of deception, of betrayal, of
+faithlessness.
+
+"You no longer love me," they state reproachfully. They may ask the
+stupid question: "Why have you ceased to care for me?" Worse yet, they
+may say to the love object; "You should be ashamed of your inconstancy."
+
+Such remarks are not infrequently coupled with another remark which
+goes more deeply to the root of the matter: "You should not show your
+indifference so plainly."
+
+In other words pretence is expected when actual love has died.
+
+And indeed nothing else could be expected logically by such illogical
+lovers, unless of course a deep affection, which may have grown between
+two human beings in the course of many years of life partnership,
+successfully masks the passing of the peculiar fascination which
+differentiates love proper from any other human feeling.
+
+=Love and Affection.= We may love a human being more than
+ourselves, enjoy infinitely his presence, delight in giving to him
+mental and physical happiness, lavish on him a thousand caresses and
+yet not experience the flash of desire which leads compulsively toward
+complete physical communion with that human being.
+
+A simile from the animal world will make my meaning clearer.
+
+A large number of animals "enjoy" light but only a small number of
+them are so "fascinated" by light that they cannot resist a "craving"
+to fly toward a light, contact with which may mean death to them. Only
+that small minority can be called in scientific jargon "positively
+phototropic," in sentimental parlance "hopelessly in love" with light.
+
+All animals are affected in some fashion by an electric current
+passing thru their bodies, but only a minority of them are so affected
+by it that they must, whether they wish it or not, face the positive
+electrode, as a lover fascinated by the face of his sweetheart. Only
+these can be characterised as "positively galvanotropic."
+
+=Erotropism.= Likewise a hundred men may be charmed by the sight
+of a woman. Only one or two from their number may feel compelled
+to seek complete union with her regardless of the obstacles to
+be surmounted, of the criticism their actions may arouse, of the
+expenditure of time, money and energy the adventure may entail. Only
+this minority may be considered as "positively erotropic."
+
+In other words it is the primal compulsion which nature uses to assure
+the continuance of the race and which I might designate as "erotropism"
+which must be considered the basis for a discussion of love.
+
+Love as commonly understood or misunderstood at the present day, is a
+series of variations on the theme of erotropism, variations due to the
+complication of modern civilisation and the restrictions placed upon
+all biological phenomena by the necessities of life in communities.
+
+=What is the Heart?= The reader will notice that I have thus
+far avoided any mention of the "heart" altho that organ is commonly
+identified with the various emotions of love.
+
+Physiologically speaking, the heart is no more vitally concerned with
+love than with any other disturbing feeling and emotion. Love may at
+times cause our heart to beat wildly, but so does strong coffee, so
+does acute indigestion, so does blood poisoning, so does any sort of
+violent fear.
+
+The heart, we must not forget, is a mere muscle, which is no more
+capable of being the seat of an emotion than our biceps or our calves.
+
+The heart is an elaborate centripetal and centrifugal pump which, in
+obedience to orders or impulses coming from elsewhere, draws the blood
+out of the veins and sends it into the arteries at a varying rate of
+speed.
+
+=A Dead Heart Can Be Made to Beat.= The heart, taken out of
+the body and attached to a well fitted system of pipes, thru which
+an appropriate fluid is circulating, will start beating anew and
+keep on beating until decay sets in, due to the fact that the proper
+nourishment is lacking.
+
+Talking of a sensitive heart, of a tender heart or of a heart of
+stone means merely juggling with pretty pictures which correspond to
+nothing physiologically. There may be sensitiveness, tenderness or
+stony harshness somewhere in the organism and the heart may give them
+expression by its fluctuating beats, but it acts on such occasions as a
+mere registering apparatus.
+
+Adrenin taken by the mouth or injected into the blood stream causes the
+heart pump of a perfect indifferent man to throb as wildly as the heart
+of a lovelorn swain. Strong doses of the nitrates may cause valvular
+insufficiency and "break" a heart more effectively than any catastrophe
+in one's sentimental life.
+
+=The Heart is a Respectable Organ.= The choice of the heart as the
+organ of the emotions, in particular of the love emotion, is certainly
+due to the fact that it is such a faithful registering apparatus and
+also to a "displacement upward" frequently observed in modern civilised
+thought.
+
+We do not willingly mention the abdomen and therefore have rechristened
+it the stomach. We have read many times the appalling statement that a
+woman carries her child "under her heart." The seat of the mind which
+materialist physicians of ancient Greece located in the intestines,
+rose later to the level of the solar plexus and with Descartes finally
+reached the pineal gland. Likewise the part of the body where love
+cravings receive their physical satisfaction having become taboo, the
+seat of love has been raised from the pelvis to the thorax, from the
+primary genital region to the breast, which bears secondary sexual
+characteristics.
+
+After which, the popular imagination has established an arbitrary
+contrast and antagonism between the mysterious clocklike organ in the
+chest and the mysterious soft mass in the skull.
+
+=The Antithesis Head-heart= is one which literature is not likely
+to abandon for years to come. We read that women "follow the dictates
+of their heart" while men are not so prone "to lose their head." The
+head is represented as the well-spring of reason while the heart is a
+fount of tenderness, if not of foolishness.
+
+Modern scientific research has demonstrated that the brain is nothing
+but an apparatus for burning sugar which is transformed into electric
+current which the nervous systems distribute throughout the body.
+
+Thought of the normal type is impossible unless the various parts of
+the brain are perfectly coordinated, just as the slightest accident to
+a telephone wire may leave a subscriber cut off from the rest of the
+world, but thoughts, feelings, emotions, cravings, originate elsewhere,
+in the autonomic nervous system.
+
+=Nerve Memory.= In our autonomic nervous system all our life
+impressions are indelibly recorded, probably thru infinitesimal
+chemical modifications of the nerves and the resultant tensions.
+Pleasant nerve impressions (pleasant memories) direct us toward
+certain objects which are the source of such impressions, unpleasant
+impressions drive us away from the outside stimuli which once produced
+them.
+
+The former cause our heart to beat slowly, peacefully, powerfully,
+the latter speed up the cardiac pump so as to send energy as fast as
+possible wherever it is needed for defence against harm.
+
+Pleasure, indifference and pain, built upon billions of nerve memories,
+make up the woof of our thinking. They ARE our mind, the mind
+that falls in love or falls out of love.
+
+The head supplies the energy and the heart registers the rate at which
+energy is sent thru the body, but the memories of which our thinking is
+made are stored up elsewhere.
+
+In a scientific study of love, therefore, I shall leave the head and
+the heart as individual organs out of consideration.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER II
+
+                         THE CHOICE OF A MATE
+
+
+=Love is a Compulsion.= The most striking characteristic in the
+love craving, one which differentiates it sharply from other cravings,
+is the compulsory exclusiveness of its choice. Hunger drives us to seek
+a large number of substances which, by filling the stomach, relieve
+what Cannon describes as a gastric itch.
+
+The person in love, on the other hand, seeks only one single object
+at a time, which alone seems capable of vouchsafing the desired
+gratification.
+
+A lovelorn man may be surrounded by many women, all extremely
+attractive and accessible, and yet pine away for some other woman who
+perhaps does not compare favorably with those he might conquer. He may,
+at times, yield to the temporary attraction of a new woman, but in the
+majority of cases, he will soon return to the woman he actually loves.
+
+Not infrequently his environment will wonder at his choice. "What can
+he see in her?" Physically or intellectually, anyone but himself would
+see very little to "admire" in her.
+
+=What We See in Our Mate.= The many handsome men whom we have
+met, and who are mated to homely wives, the many wives we have
+observed, mated to impossible husbands, and whose affection for their
+unprepossessing life partner is genuine and in no way dictated by
+sordid considerations, the many triangles we know of, in which a very
+inferior lover or mistress is preferred to an admittedly superior
+husband or wife, are evidence of the involuntary, nay compulsory,
+character of the love choice.
+
+A comparison imposes itself with certain obsessive fears or cravings
+bearing upon one object which, to any one but the person experiencing
+such fears or cravings, may appear anything but fearful or desirable.
+The psychoanalytic investigation of the origin of such obsessions
+always shows that they can be traced back to childhood impressions
+which have modified our nervous reactions to certain objects or ideas.
+
+=The Meaning of Choice.= Applied psychology and laboratory
+research have in recent years attached a more and more deterministic
+connotation to the term "choice." The word, which to academic
+psychologists, implied the exercise of free will and "judgment," will
+have some day to be accepted as synonymous with "compulsion."
+
+A few examples from animal behavior will illustrate my meaning.
+
+Philosophers have for years wasted breath and ink on the academic
+consideration of the following puzzle:
+
+A donkey is standing at equal distance from two bales of hay; the
+two masses of fodder are mathematically alike in size, shape, color,
+fragrance, quality, etc.
+
+Unless the animal, certain philosophers said, was able to "make a
+choice" of his own, he would remain motionless between the two bales
+whose attraction would be perfectly balanced. He would, like some
+celestial bodies, be held suspended by two forces which would not allow
+him to turn to the right nor to the left. He would rationally have to
+starve if attraction were a force exerting itself from the outside
+exclusively.
+
+Yet no donkey placed in such a situation will fail to make an immediate
+choice. He will turn to one of the bales and start eating it.
+
+Even if we imagine a philosophising donkey reasoning as follows:
+
+"The two bales are equally attractive. Hence it makes no difference
+which one I start with. Let us begin with either."
+
+Even then, he will have to "make a choice," altho his selection of one
+of the bales seems to be due entirely to "chance."
+
+=Chance in the Discard.= Psychological research has eliminated
+chance as a factor in human behavior, and whether our donkey starts
+with the right or with the left bale, an analyst will insist that there
+are reasons why he picks out that one bale to be eaten first.
+
+Laboratory dogs which have supplied solutions for so many psychological
+difficulties, have proved of service in this case too.
+
+If the slightest surgical operation has been performed on one side of a
+dog's brain, he becomes unable to move in a straight line.
+
+He deviates from the straight line toward the side on which his brain
+has been injured. If the lesion is on the right side he will be
+compelled to turn to the right and vice versa. This is due to the fact
+that the injury has weakened that side and the cerebral dynamo which
+supplies the body with power produces less current on the injured than
+on the uninjured side.
+
+When you row a boat and slack one oar the boat turns toward the side on
+which you are expending more effort. Of course the process is reversed
+in a dog because the nerves of the dog cross over, the right side of
+his brain supplying the left side of the body, the left side of the
+brain supplying the right side of the body with power.
+
+Let us repeat on two dogs, the experiment which academic psychologists
+imagined performed on a mythical jackass.
+
+=The Dog's Choice.= Offer two pieces of meat to a dog whose brain
+has been injured on the right side and he will invariably eat the
+piece of meat nearer that side. Repeat the test on a dog whose brain
+has suffered a lesion on the left side and you will see him gobble the
+piece of meat on the left side.
+
+Go even further and place both pieces of meat on the left side of the
+dog injured on the left side of his brain and he will "pick out" the
+one farther out. Not that he "prefers" that one. He will aim at the
+nearest but his injury will cause him to deviate too far to the left
+and he will be unable to reach the nearest one.
+
+Other experiments on dogs illustrate the purely organic "motives" back
+of certain lines of conduct.
+
+When both sides of a dog's brain have been injured in the frontal
+region, the dog refuses to go forward or downstairs but has a tendency
+to move backwards and to run upstairs.
+
+When the back of a dog's brain has been injured on both sides, the dog
+has a tendency to keep on running forward all the time and while he is
+unwilling to climb stairs he will willingly go downstairs.
+
+=The Behavior of Copepods.= When we pour carbonated water or beer
+or alcohol into an aquarium, certain crustaceans called copepods will
+at once swim toward the source of light, as tho they "loved" light, and
+appear so interested in light that they will "forget," to eat their
+food, if that food is placed away from the source of light. The same
+animals when placed in water containing strychnine or caffein, will
+shun the light as tho they "hated" it, and as tho they "loved" the
+darkness.
+
+We know that if a galvanic current is sent thru our head we will lean
+involuntarily against the positive pole. If the current is sent thru an
+aquarium, a number of the animals swimming in it will be compelled to
+seek the positive pole and to remain there, others to seek the negative
+pole.
+
+In the case of the laboratory dogs, a permanent modification of
+the nervous system caused a permanent modification of the animal's
+behavior, which could not be "cured," (for brain injuries do not
+"heal," the cells of the brain being unable to reproduce themselves),
+but which would probably be compensated for by gradual adaptation.
+In the case of the "phototropic" or "galvanotropic" animals, the
+modification of the nervous system was only temporary but might cause a
+more or less durable modification of the animals' behavior, if allowed
+to last a considerable length of time.
+
+The love attraction or "erotropism" is likewise due to certain more or
+less lasting modifications of man's nervous system caused by the fact
+that his nervous system was for variable periods of time exposed to the
+influence of certain outside stimuli.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER III
+
+                        THE QUEST OF THE FETISH
+
+
+The papers now and then tell the story of some man who was caught in
+the act of clipping a little girl's braid of hair. That man is what
+is called technically a hair fetishist. Hair is his fetish, that is
+the part of a woman's body which attracts him more powerfully than
+any other part. A search of the living quarters of that variety
+of "delinquents" generally reveals that they are in the habit of
+collecting women's tresses acquired in that fashion. The tresses are
+almost always of the same color.
+
+=The Hair Fetishist= whose unlawful activities bring him sooner
+or later into the clutches of the police is a neurotic who presents to
+an exaggerated, abnormal extent, a trait we find in all normal human
+beings.
+
+Every one of us is especially attracted by some part of the human body.
+The young man who raves over his sweetheart's hair, the young woman
+who blissfully runs her fingers thru her lover's hair are also hair
+fetishists. But their craving is not strong enough to lead them into
+committing unlawful, perverse, socially inacceptable acts.
+
+Another widely spread type of abnormal fetishist described by novelists
+and psychiatrists, but which very seldom gains newspaper notoriety, is
+the foot and shoe fetishist, who buys or steals all sorts of shoes. He
+too is merely the exaggeration of the man who is delighted by the sight
+of a Cinderella foot or a slim ankle.
+
+With hair and shoe fetishists, the fetish is more than a mere
+attraction; it is generally a powerful sexual stimulant. Such
+fetishists experience, while kissing or caressing their fetish, sexual
+gratification of the autoerotic or of the involuntary type.
+
+=Everybody a Fetishist.= There are hundreds of varieties of
+fetishism, normal or abnormal. There is no person living who is not
+more or less subject to the compulsive attraction of some fetish. There
+is in every man or every woman something which catches the onlooker's
+eye first and retains his attention longest.
+
+This varies with every human being. Ask ten men to describe one pretty
+woman. Every one of them will probably head the list of physical
+qualities he has observed in her with a different fetish. One will
+describe her as a blonde with a beautiful skin, rather tall and well
+shaped; another will state that she is a well-shaped woman, rather
+tall and with blonde hair; another will characterise her as a tall
+woman with an abundance of blonde hair, etc. I knew a man, in no way
+abnormal, who could not describe a pretty woman, regardless of whatever
+her build was, without making a gesture of the hand outlining ample
+breast curves.
+
+=Most Common Fetishes.= Women's hair, throat, neck, shoulders,
+arms and breasts seem to be the most frequently mentioned fetishes.
+Fashion and the law recognise that fact. Whenever women plan to make
+a physical appeal to men or women, they dress their hair with special
+care and they wear low neck gowns, thereby exhibiting those various
+fetishes.
+
+It will be noticed that the parts of the body constituting the most
+widely appreciated fetishes are those with which the nursing child
+comes in most intimate and continuous contact.
+
+To the child, they mean safety, comfort, caresses, food. The color
+of skin or hair, the shape of neck, head and shoulders on which
+his glances rest while nursing or while being carried about by the
+mother, are the only ones which will appear "natural" and safe, hence
+beautiful, to him in after life.
+
+The breasts from which he derives a perfect food, at the right
+temperature, which flows easily into his stomach and is assimilated
+without effort, the breasts, whose texture and elasticity make them
+pleasant to lean upon while nursing, may eventually become to his
+simple mind the most valuable part of the female's body.
+
+=The Breast and the Bottle.= My observations on several hundred
+men fed at the breast or on the bottle in infancy, have revealed to me
+that practically all the men nursed by a woman were greatly attracted
+to women with well developed breasts.
+
+The majority of men nursed on the bottle, on the other hand, preferred
+thin, boyish looking girls, some of them even expressing a distinct
+repugnance for rather buxom women.
+
+It may be stated that of the few who did not confirm that rule there
+were several more or less neurotic individuals, whom an unconscious
+fear of incest (see Chapter V) had conditioned to fear the very type of
+women by whom they had been nursed.
+
+Arms and hands, which to the nursling mean protection, service,
+caresses, transportation, etc., derive therefrom their great attraction
+as fetishes.
+
+=Feminine Fetishes.= I have thus far mentioned almost exclusively
+fetishes from the female body. There are several reasons why feminine
+fetishes are far more important to both men and women than masculine
+fetishes. Children of both sexes are exposed to the influence of
+the mother's fetishes more intimately, more constantly and more
+"profitably" (nursing), than they are to the influence of the father's
+fetishes.
+
+Hence masculine fetishes are fewer and less numerous. Woman is less of
+a fetishist than man. The most frequently mentioned masculine fetishes
+are the bodily attributes characteristic of strength, and which, hence,
+would afford most protection to the infant and the female.
+
+No perverse fetishism is observed in women, no abnormal craving driving
+women into securing unlawfully men's hair or clothing, etc.
+
+Some writers consider transvestite women, women who enjoy masquerading
+in men's clothes, as clothing fetishists, but such cases are extremely
+rare and can be accounted for in other ways.
+
+=Physiological Necessities.= There is another reason, a physiological
+reason, for the great importance which men and women attach to the
+feminine fetishes. More sexual excitement and a greater muscular
+tension are necessary in the male than in the female at the time of
+the sexual union. The female, being physiologically submissive, can
+wait for her desire to grow under the influence of the male's caresses.
+The male, on the contrary, has to be aggressive and cannot fulfill his
+biological part unless his desire has been aroused by other sensations
+than that of the sexual union.
+
+Hence the greater expenditure of time and effort on the part of the
+female to make herself attractive to the male. Hence also the long
+drawn courtship of flirtation thru which the female of every animal
+species endeavors to bring the male to the highest possible point of
+sexual excitement before surrendering herself to him.
+
+=Foot and Shoe Fetishism= is more complicated. The mother's feet
+are the part of her body which the infant, crawling on the floor or
+attempting to walk, beholds most frequently and at the closest range.
+
+That variety of fetish, however, should not be as strong as other
+fetishes more directly related to the child's nutrition, comfort and
+safety. When shoe fetishism become compulsive, it is a neurosis due
+to the repression of some erotic desire aroused in childhood by some
+striking incident. One case cited by Freud, illustrates that process.
+
+"A man to whom the various sex attractions of woman now mean nothing,
+who in fact, can only be aroused sexually by the sight of a shoe on a
+foot of a certain form, is able to recall an experience he had in his
+sixth year and which proved decisive for the fixation of his libido.
+One day he sat on a stool beside his governess. She was a shriveled
+old maid who, that day, on account of some accident, had put a velvet
+slipper on her foot and stretched it out on a foot stool.
+
+"After a diffident attempt at normal sexual activity, undertaken at the
+time of his puberty, a thin, sinewy foot like that of his governess,
+had become the sole object of his desires. The man was carried away
+irresistibly if other features, reminiscent of his governess, appeared
+in conjunction with the foot. Through this fixation, the man did not
+become neurotic but perverse, a foot fetishist, as we say."
+
+I wish to call the reader's attention to the expression "after a
+diffident attempt at normal sexual expression." It indicates a feeling
+of inferiority, likely to cause failure and also increased by failure
+which is always in evidence in every neurotic and which drives him
+toward easier goals, along the line of least effort.
+
+Some of the Freudians have suggested that foot fetishism is due to
+the repression of an early craving for the unpleasant odors emitted
+by perspiring feet. As against such a far-fetched explanation, I
+would offer the fact that foot and shoe are always associated in the
+unconscious of neurotic patients with the male and female genitals,
+respectively.
+
+We find the association of shoe and genitals clearly indicated in the
+old custom of throwing shoes and rice at departing newlyweds (rice
+symbolising the fertilising seed).
+
+Odors, sounds, tactile sensations, etc., may also be powerful fetishes
+or antifetishes, according to the impression they may have made on the
+nursling. This will be discussed in more detail in the Chapter entitled
+"The Senses in Love."
+
+=Fetishes may be of a non-Physical Kind.= A profession may be
+a fetish, and so can a mental attitude, in short, anything which in
+childhood may have been considered as a source of safety, comfort,
+egotistical gratification, etc.
+
+Age itself, is at times a fetish. Gerontophilia is a neurosis, the
+victims of which are only attracted to very old men or women, safety,
+comfort and food having been assured them probably by a grandfather or
+grandmother to whom they clung for neurotic reasons.
+
+=Many Fetishes are Purely Symbolical.= Some women fall in love
+with a uniform because that type of garment symbolises to them physical
+strength, virility, courage, etc.
+
+A uniform fetishist who consulted me during the war had given herself
+to half a dozen officers who appeared to her irresistible until they
+undressed or donned civilian clothes. After which she felt indifferent
+to them and suffered remorse.
+
+=Antifetishes=, parts of the body or their symbols which repel
+us in persons of the opposite sex, can be due either to unpleasant
+experiences of childhood connected with such parts of the body or to a
+neurotic fear of incest. A neurotic's resistance to a mother fixation
+may be so strong that in his (unconscious) fear of committing incest,
+he shuns everything which in any woman reminds him of his mother.
+
+A man whose violent mother and sister fixation had kept him till
+forty-five away from all women and made him homosexual, felt extremely
+uneasy and slightly ashamed in the presence of tall blonde women, the
+mother and sister type. While he never enjoyed greatly the company of
+any woman, he felt more at ease with small brunettes.
+
+In his case, blonde hair and a high stature had become strong
+antifetishes.
+
+=The Quest of the Fetish= means then, in last analysis, the quest
+of safety. If fetishes are so closely linked with sexuality, it is
+mainly because a feeling of safety is one of the necessary conditions
+for sexual potency in the male and the female alike.
+
+As soon as fear dominates, the pelvic regions are starved of blood, for
+the blood is then needed in other parts of the body, head and limbs,
+for fight or flight. Sexual impotence is the result. This is probably
+why in primitive races we often find the erect phallus used as a symbol
+of safety, as a primitive "fetish" vouchsafing imaginary safety and
+confidence.
+
+This throws an interesting sidelight upon the real meaning of morbid
+fetishism. As I said in one of the preceding paragraphs, every neurotic
+feels inferior and seeks safety. The hair fetishist, for instance, is
+inferior in some respect or considers himself inferior, which is about
+the same and has the same consequences, as far as ultimate mental or
+physical results are concerned.
+
+The normal hair fetishist seeks a woman whose hair will symbolise to
+him the safety he enjoyed close to his mother's hair. The abnormal
+fetishist will crave the possession of hair which alone will place
+him in turn in possession of safety, a condition in which his sexual
+cravings will be easily satisfied. Not feeling capable of conquering
+a woman, however, he will cut off some one's tresses, which will
+symbolise to him woman, and the safety enjoyed in woman's (his
+mother's) arms. In that fashion, he also gratifies his craving for
+the line of least effort. Unwilling to face the social, economic,
+biological responsibilities that go with the possession of a woman, he
+seeks in the fetish which he steals, an easy, selfish, unsocial form of
+gratification. That gratification is also a regression, for it leads
+him back to the autoerotic practices of childhood.
+
+=Attraction or Obsession.= In the normal man, then, the fetish is
+an attraction, influencing his choice of a mate. In the abnormal man
+it becomes an obsession, the fetish at times becoming infinitely more
+important than the part of the body it suggests, at times causing the
+elimination of the sexual mate which it replaces entirely.
+
+In the normal man, the fetish, being the bearer of pleasant memories
+from childhood days, facilitates one's adaption to a life partner.
+The abnormal individual, unwilling to part with his childhood ways,
+which were easier and safer, either demands that the life partner be
+the absolute image of the person from whom he acquired his fetishes or
+prefers one safe fetish to any life partner.
+
+In the next chapter we shall see how mental and physical, real and
+symbolic fetishes are forced upon us by the various developments of the
+family romance which is always accompanied by a more or less marked
+family feud.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER IV
+
+                THE FAMILY ROMANCE AND THE FAMILY FEUD
+
+
+The craving for food and safety, gratified in our mother's arms, the
+craving for safety gratified by the strong father's presence, develop
+in our nerves automatic reactions of love or hatred (fear) toward other
+human beings endowed with or lacking our mother's and father's fetishes.
+
+Exposure to pleasurable or painful stimuli in infancy produces in
+our nerves a modification which could be roughly compared to the
+modification produced surgically in the brain of the dog mentioned in
+Chapter II.
+
+Even as a dog can be conditioned to "prefer" turning to the right
+and to "hate" (or fear) running down stairs, a human being can,
+thru continued exposure to the sight of red hair in infancy, become
+conditioned to "prefer" red hair.
+
+Many other factors, however, complicate the question of our likes and
+dislikes. A child's environment contains many sources of stimulation
+besides the mother's and the father's fetishes, all of them varying in
+intensity, duration and character (pleasant or unpleasant).
+
+Besides, the child is forced at some period of his life into a more
+or less sudden and more or less pleasant contact with the outside
+world. That contact, which at times is a conflict, often causes some of
+the early impressions made upon the infant's or child's nerves to be
+"repressed," thereby originating a conflict in the individual's nervous
+system.
+
+And thus we are brought to a consideration of the family romance which
+various conflicts within the family circle and with the outside world,
+not infrequently transform into a family feud.
+
+=The Oedipus Complex.= The complication designated by Freud as
+the Oedipus Complex is one of the most potent, altho at times one
+of the least obvious factors in family conflicts and in the mental
+disturbances which those conflicts occasion.
+
+The Oedipus Complex is named after the Greek legend according to which
+Oedipus killed his father and later married his mother without being
+aware of their identity.
+
+This is the form in which the Oedipus situation appears in real life:
+
+A male child may become overattached to his mother and develop a
+morbid, more or less concealed, hostility to his father. The female
+child may become overattached to her father and manifest a more or less
+overt hostility to her mother.
+
+There is no case of neurosis in which analysts do not discover a more
+or less marked maladjustment of that type. In fact Freud has gone as
+far as stating that the Oedipus Complex is the central complex of every
+neurotic disturbance.
+
+=The Freudian View.= Freudian analysts have somewhat dramatised
+the Oedipus complex which they consider as due to incestuous longings.
+Those incestuous longings, according to Freud, are in their last
+analysis, a yearning of the child to return to the mother's body where
+the child enjoyed, in its prenatal life, absolute peace and comfort.
+
+The average child manages to free himself gradually from the mother's
+body, first seeking pleasurable sensations in his own body, sucking his
+thumb, playing with his genitals, later becoming interested in other
+children like himself, finally, at puberty, seeking human beings of the
+opposite sex, etc.
+
+Some children, on the other hand, never seem to free themselves from
+the parent of the opposite sex. They are technically designated as the
+victims of a mother fixation in the case of boys, of a father fixation
+in the case of girls.
+
+=Jung's Interpretation.= Jung, head of the Swiss school of
+psychoanalysis, considers the Oedipus complication from a broader
+point of view. To him the father and mother are not real persons, but
+more or less symbolic and distorted figures created by the imagination
+of the child. The yearning of the child for its mother, its jealousy
+toward the father are simply due to its desire to monopolise a perfect
+provider and protector.
+
+=Pseudo-Incest.= To Adler of Vienna, the Oedipus complex is a
+fiction created unconsciously by the neurotic who is trying to fall
+back on the father or mother for support. The boy, afraid of life and
+of the responsibilities imposed upon a man by a normal sexual life, is
+naturally inclined to cling fondly to his mother, from whom he receives
+a love and adoration which need not be won or paid for or reciprocated
+and which in their demonstrativeness only stop short of sexual
+gratification.
+
+The neurotic girl dreams of monopolising the father's affection and
+financial support which are not to be repaid by sexual intercourse with
+its consequences, etc.
+
+Freud's interpretation explains certain details of behavior in boys
+with a mother fixation but the yearning to return to the mother's body
+does not explain a father fixation in a woman.
+
+On the other hand, Jung's explanation fails to account for some of the
+grossly sexual details in the behavior of the fixation child, such as
+great curiosity directed toward the parent of the opposite sex, at
+times, even, attempts on the part of a boy to possess the mother in her
+sleep, etc.
+
+=The Neurotic Life Plan.= Adler has clearly seen that the Oedipus
+situation is not the cause, but merely one of the details of the
+neurotic life plan. A human being adopts that plan because, owing to
+some inferiority, real or imaginary, (real to him), he feels unable
+to compete with other human beings on a footing of equality. The
+neurosis supplies him with a short cut to power along the line of least
+effort. That short cut is selfish, unsocial and, hence, productive of
+unpleasant results. The mother-fixation man, the father-fixation woman
+shirk their biological duties, thereby leading an easier, cheaper,
+self-centered life which, in the end, vouchsafes them no real positive
+gratification.
+
+What Adler has left unexplained is how the parent fixation establishes
+itself in the neurotic.
+
+=Imitation.= The Oedipus situation is simply one of the consequences of
+the imitation by the child of the parent of the opposite sex.
+
+Imitation plays a tremendous part in human life and, as far as behavior
+is concerned, is an infinitely more powerful factor than heredity.
+
+Heredity endows us with a certain set of physical organs, hence with a
+number of potentialities. But the utilisation of those potentialities
+is left to the individual's destiny determined by his environment.
+
+If the son of a splendidly developed prize fighter finds himself in
+an environment which countenances and lauds prize fighting, physical
+power will probably become his goal early in life. If his environment
+casts disobliging reflections on ring activities or if those activities
+have an unpleasant financial connotation for him, (father disabled
+and poor), the same boy will abstain from athletic training, remain
+physically undeveloped, perhaps even grow weak and stunted.
+
+=The Glands.= As we shall see in another chapter, the various glands
+of our body have a good deal to do with the shaping of our personality
+but the pressure of the social herd within which we live is also a
+tremendous factor for it compels us to adopt as models for imitation
+certain physical and intellectual types which are acceptable to the
+herd.
+
+The degree of the pressure exerted by the herd varies greatly with
+social conditions. The pressure is not the same in an Alaska camp and
+in a New England village. Unnoticeable in an artists' colony, it may
+become difficult to bear in a large family group including several
+members of the clergy.
+
+Children become grown ups by imitating grown ups. A boy acquires a
+man's behavior by imitating his father. A girl acquires womanly manners
+by imitating her mother.
+
+At the same time a boy with a strong organism and, consequently, a fair
+amount of self confidence, is not as slavish in his imitation of his
+father's ways as one who is cursed with a delicate constitution or who
+may have been made timid by fear-producing or humiliating experiences.
+
+The former is more adventurous in every way and will, not only roam
+farther away from his home, but let his eyes also roam on men outside
+of the family circle, whom he will pick out as secondary models.
+
+The weak boy, seeking safety and following the line of least effort,
+will cling to the closest model, his father, and in extreme cases, will
+identify himself with him.
+
+=The Identification Mania.= An exaggerated mania for identification is
+always a symptom of weakness and inferiority.
+
+The weak man joins numberless organisations and derives a great deal
+of pride from the mere fact of his membership in them. In general he
+will not allow anyone to discuss or criticise those organisations.
+The anonymous citizen of Chicago or Chillicothe is easily aroused by
+criticisms of his native city overheard elsewhere, for he identifies
+himself with his native city for lack of any distinction of his own.
+Members of so called "aristocratic" families, themselves incapable
+of any achievement, are most unbearable owing to their family pride.
+They obscurely feel that if their relationship to some more or less
+distinguished ancestor was taken away from them they would sink into
+complete obscurity. The stupid traveler who constantly flaunts the flag
+of his country wherever he happens to be, is also an inferior who is
+trying to claim all the virtues which the jingoes of his land consider
+as national characteristics.
+
+Close imitation and identification with the person we imitate cannot
+but lead to conflicts, for it sooner or later means that we encroach
+upon the rights of our model.
+
+=Early Conflicts.= The little boy who imitates his father,
+identifies himself with him and tries to "become" his father, may
+only provoke mirth when he dons his father's garments or carries his
+father's walking stick.
+
+When he carries his imitation to the point of handling his father's
+razors or sampling his cigars, he may court what, to him, is a very
+unintelligible, illogical and humiliating form of punishment.
+
+"If father is always right, why do I get spanked for doing what father
+does?" the child asks himself with a child's pitiless logic.
+
+A profound hostility to the oppressive father may then grow in the mind
+of the imitative child, in no wise due to sexual complications.
+
+This is also the way in which a rivalry may arise between son and
+father for the non-sexual possession of the mother, the freedom of her
+room and her bed, the sole enjoyment of her caresses, the sole disposal
+of her time, the sole domination over her.
+
+The father enjoys all those privileges, and in order to be exactly like
+him, the son must also enjoy them "exclusively" which is logically
+impossible and leads to unconscious death wishes.
+
+=Death Wishes.= The death wishes that lurk in the son's mind when his
+father and rival is concerned and reveal themselves thru dreams, are
+not simply murderous cravings. They are symbolical, like the death
+wishes which some fond mother may express thru her dreams when her
+beloved child has interfered too much with her activities in her waking
+hours.
+
+The imitative boy, beaten in the race for all of his father's
+possessions, of which the mother is the most valuable, wishes his
+father "out of the way." If there are female children, the imitative
+boy may, after giving up the mother as an unattainable goal, adopt
+toward one of his sisters the attitude of protection and ownership
+his father assumes toward his mother. In such cases, the feud is far
+from being as serious as it would be otherwise. A sister fixation, it
+goes without saying, is far less dangerous than a mother fixation. The
+sister is younger than the mother, the obsession of her image being
+unlikely to attract the brother later to women much older than himself.
+The love which a sister returns is also far from being as unselfish,
+intelligent and indulgent as that which a mother lavishes on her child.
+
+Almost everything which has been said about the mother fixation applies
+to the father fixation in girls. But we must bear in mind that owing to
+the tremendous biological importance of the mother, a mother fixation
+is likely to have a deeper influence on a boy than a father fixation on
+a girl.
+
+=Our Preferences.= Thus it is that the "preferences" we show when
+grown up, for a certain human type, are determined by the appearance
+and behavior of the males and females which were closest to us in the
+formative years of our life.
+
+In the majority of cases it is the mother type or the father type which
+proves most attractive to boys and girls respectively, the type being
+represented or symbolised by certain physical or mental fetishes.
+
+In many cases, the mother or father type have been modified or replaced
+by other masculine or feminine types which took the place of the mother
+or father during that important period of our life.
+
+The woman who suckled us or fed us and attended to our various physical
+needs, nurse or nurse maid, may become the bearer of our fetishes.
+
+In Europe where the wet nurse and the nurse girl are infinitely more
+common than in this country, the ancillary type of love, love for
+servants and menials, is observed with much greater frequency than here.
+
+The Southern man does not show the same repugnance as the Northern
+man to consort sexually with colored women of the servant class. The
+colored mammy's fetishes are found competing successfully in many cases
+with those of the white mother.
+
+=Craig's Birds.= Those who believe that heredity, instinct, the call
+of the blood, etc., have much to do with the choice of a mate, should
+read reports of experiments performed by William Craig on pigeons. Ring
+doves and passenger pigeons never mate. When the eggs of a passenger
+pigeon, however, have been hatched by a ring dove, the young male
+passenger pigeons will, at mating time, ignore entirely the females of
+their species, "their flesh and blood," and mate with female ring doves
+(the mother image) exclusively.
+
+The fetishes which to them meant food and safety in the nest mean to
+them beauty and eroticism when they reach adulthood.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER V
+
+                                INCEST
+
+
+The family romance has been presented by the Freudians as complicated
+by actual incestuous entanglements. Adler on the other hand has shown
+that the incestuous situation is rather an "as if" introduced by the
+neurotic as a part of his absurd life plan.
+
+Barring a few exceptions, the small boy does not desire his mother
+sexually nor does the small girl feel erotic at the thought of her
+father.
+
+That such incestuous desires arise at the time of puberty cannot
+be doubted. But they are observed mostly in neurotics to whom the
+incestuous situation suggests, as I pointed out in the previous
+chapter, to the boy, food, comfort, the mother's easily won love, to
+the girl, the protection and the attentions of the strong father. In
+many cases too, homosexual and incestuous practices among the children
+in one family mean nothing but the neurotic search for the line of
+least effort.
+
+Freud seeks at times very far fetched explanations for very simple
+phenomena in order to show the sexual motive at the bottom of them. He
+states in his _Introduction to Psychoanalysis_ that a girl may show
+great affection for a younger sister "as a substitute for the child she
+vainly wished from the father." The truth is that the older daughter,
+in her close imitation of her mother, also starts "mothering" a child.
+
+"A boy," Freud states in the same book, "may take his sister as the
+object of his love to replace his _faithless_ mother." He rather
+imitates his father and starts to protect and order about a little
+female of his age, which at times, when both have witnessed the
+parental embraces, may lead to actual incest.
+
+=The Incest Fear.= Incest is at the present day the form of sexual
+relation which provokes the most powerful expression of disapproval
+on the part of civilised and uncivilised races alike. In fact the
+primitive races seem obsessed by a panicky fear of incest. In many
+tribes, brothers and sisters are not allowed to meet or speak to each
+other and, in certain cases, they must even avoid the sight of each
+other and eschew every mention of each other's names.
+
+In the Fiji Islands, where the rules against incest are especially
+rigorous, there are, on the other hand, special holidays on which
+orgies are held in which incest becomes permissible.
+
+In other words, the natives of those islands, while recognising the
+irresistible nature of the incest temptation and taking all sorts of
+measures in order to prevent the commission of that sin, supply at
+stated intervals an outlet for incestuous cravings.
+
+Innumerable details of primitive legislation separate the son-in-law
+from the mother-in-law, the father-in-law from his son's bride.
+
+The Basogas of the Upper Nile loathe incest to such a degree that they
+punish it even in animals whenever it can be observed among them.
+
+=Incest in Ancient Times.= The horror of incest, however, is a
+relatively recent development in human psychology and ethics. The
+ancient dynasties of Egypt and Peru practiced incest. Incest was
+indulged in by all the archaic gods. The authors of the book of Genesis
+must have accepted the idea of incest as the sole means of explaining
+Adam's and Eve's descendants.
+
+The horror of incest which we all feel or pretend to feel, is indeed an
+acquired feeling. Since every race has adopted stern legal measures to
+prevent incest, it can only be because a desire for incest is one of
+the cravings which mankind is constantly struggling against.
+
+As Frazer says: "There is no law commanding men to eat and drink or
+forbidding them to put their hands in the fire. Men eat and drink and
+keep their hands out of the fire instinctively."
+
+If men and women avoided incest instinctively no legislation would be
+needed compelling them to avoid it.
+
+Indeed the confessions received by psychoanalysts reveal that the
+first sexual desires of the young are directed toward children of the
+opposite sex within the family circle. The many slight or serious
+indiscretions of an incestuous nature in which neurotic brothers and
+sisters indulge in infancy and childhood are generally "forgotten,"
+that is, repressed, in later years, but analytic probing brings a great
+amount of such repressed material to the surface.
+
+Since neither animals nor human beings experience any natural fear of
+incest, why is it that all races are officially so afraid of it?
+
+=Inbreeding.= It cannot be due to the fear of race deterioration
+consequent upon inbreeding. Inbreeding is not necessarily a harmful
+process of reproduction as East and Jones have shown in their book on
+"Inbreeding and Outbreeding." It seems to have, at times, for instance
+in Athens during the classic age, led to the production of many very
+superior individuals.
+
+Furthermore the primitive savages who punish incest even among domestic
+animals have no conception of such eugenic theories. Some of them,
+incredible as it may sound, do not even realise the relation of cause
+to effect which exists between intercourse and pregnancy.
+
+Freud offers an explanation based upon the Darwinian hypothesis of the
+primal horde in which the old father kept all the females for himself
+and drove away the growing sons.
+
+This state of affairs has been observed among herds of wild cattle
+and horses. It generally leads to the killing of the oldest bull or
+stallion by the younger males.
+
+=The Primal Horde.= Freud assumes that this must have been the usual
+occurrence in the primal horde. One day the sons joined hands and
+killed the father.
+
+"Though the brothers had joined forces in order to overcome the father,
+each was the others' rival among the women. Each one wanted to have
+them all to himself like the father, and in the fight of each against
+the others the new organization would have perished. For there was no
+longer any one stronger than all the rest who could have successfully
+assumed the role of the father. Thus there was nothing left for the
+brothers to do, if they wished to live together, but to erect incest
+prohibitions, perhaps after many difficult experiments, in the course
+of which they may all have renounced the women whom they desired."
+
+In other words, the incest taboo was adopted to assure peace within the
+family circle, a convenience measure dictated by jealousy.
+
+=Repressed Incestuous Feelings= may at times drive one into a most
+objectional form of behavior. A brother who in childhood was too fond
+of his sister (or vice versa) may, from an unconscious desire for
+self-protection, adopt a hostile attitude to his sister. The more
+attracted he was to her the more sadistic he will appear in later years.
+
+He may even avoid all the women who would in any way suggest his sister
+and in that way never feel satisfied in love, for the women who cannot
+possibly suggest to him his sister, lack all the fetishes which would
+vouchsafe him safety and eroticism.
+
+Such a man should be analysed and made to realise the incestuous
+cravings which he has repressed into his unconscious. His hatred would
+then change into affection and in his search of a mate he would
+logically seek the sister image which alone would insure him sexual
+happiness.
+
+I have reconciled in that way several groups of brothers and sisters
+who had never been able to get along after puberty, altho most of them
+had developed a dangerous fondness for each other before puberty.
+
+Repressed sister fixation like repressed mother fixation has been found
+on several occasions as one of the components of homosexualism in the
+man, father or brother fixation as one of the causes of frigidity in
+the woman.
+
+=Blood Relations.= Mother or sister fixation is frequently the cause of
+marriage between blood relations. This sort of union has been unjustly
+suspected of breeding mental inferiors. We should rather say that it
+is the mental inferiors who seek their mate within the family circle.
+Unable to secure the mother or the sister as a mate, they select a
+woman who has as many of the family traits as possible, that they may
+feel more secure in her company. If a defective child is bred of such
+unions, it is not due to the close relationship of the parents but to
+the fact that too often one of the mates was deficient physically or
+mentally.
+
+In this respect as in many others, self-knowledge and acceptance
+of one's personality, coupled with a courageous understanding of
+unavoidable biological facts, are the necessary conditions for perfect
+mental health and freedom.
+
+The man with a mother or sister fixation, the woman with a father or
+brother fixation should be made aware of it, however slight or severe
+the fixation may be.
+
+They must be made to realise that incestuous cravings are biological
+phenomena which for reasons of convenience have been made unlawful but
+which do not brand the individual experiencing them as a degenerate or
+a vicious person.
+
+They must also be made to realise that their incestuous craving
+may be one of the symptoms of the neurotic search for the line of
+least effort, knowledge of which weakens the craving to the point of
+insignificance.
+
+The individual with a biologically real incestuous fixation should
+accept it and seek its substitute gratification thru association with a
+suitable mate presenting in his or her person the fetishes of the loved
+parent or brother or sister.
+
+The individual whose fixation is purely neurotic should be freed of
+it by analysis and allowed to seek a mate without being inhibited by
+ghosts.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER VI
+
+                        THE PHYSIOLOGY OF LOVE
+
+
+A human being has met another human being of the opposite sex and
+is attracted to him or her by the conscious or unconscious memories
+which his or her physical and mental make up brings back. An organic
+compulsion drives a man to seek a certain woman who is to be his sexual
+mate. We say then that the man is in love. What is the tangible,
+observable, measurable meaning of the condition of being in love?
+
+To understand this clearly we must bear in mind the principle which
+modern psychology is gradually adopting, that of the unity of the
+organism.
+
+=The Organism is a Unit= which cannot, except for reasons of pure
+convenience, be split into entities of a contrasted character, such
+as body and mind, matter and soul, etc. To every physical phenomenon
+corresponds a simultaneous mental manifestation and vice versa. The
+body is the tangible aspect, the mind, the intangible aspect of the
+organism.
+
+Nor can any scientific distinction be drawn between the so-called
+grossness of the body and the spiritual quality of the mind.
+
+Nor can we establish in the body absolute lines of cleavage between
+the various organs, heart, stomach, liver or sexual organs. They are
+all closely interrelated and there again we find a profound unity of
+action. When the nerves of the "life division" of the autonomic nervous
+system are set working, the pupil will be contracted, the saliva flow,
+the heart beat more slowly, the stomach secrete gastric juice and churn
+food, the intestines push digested food toward the rectum, and the
+sexual organs fill up with blood.
+
+When the "safety nerves" are in action the pupil is dilated, the saliva
+scarce, the heart beats faster, gastric activities cease or become
+reversed (vomiting), the intestines either stop their activity or are
+affected by diarrhea and the sexual organs are emptied of blood. Any
+stimulation applied to any of those organs will produce the specific
+stimulation indicated above in ALL THE OTHER ORGANS, tho in
+varying degrees.
+
+In other words perfect peace and safety promote all the activities
+of the "life nerves," danger and fear promote all the activities of
+the "safety nerves." Peace and safety build up the body and assure
+the continuance of the race. Danger and fear stop all the activities
+which are not directly concerned with fight or flight, hence weaken the
+organism and stop the sex life.
+
+Peace and safety represented by the mental and physical fetishes of the
+mate toward whom we are driven by an organic compulsion are bound to
+produce in us most gratifying results.
+
+The sight, smell and taste of good food, the sight of pleasant objects,
+the sound of good music, etc., produce a powerful stimulation.
+
+=Love's Stimulation=, reaching us, as we shall see in another chapter,
+thru all the senses and thru a thousand memories, is incomparably more
+powerful than that of any other craving.
+
+Nutritious food in sufficient quantities is generally synonymous with
+good health. Improper food in insufficient quantities is generally
+synonymous with bad health.
+
+The mental connotation of good and bad food, however, is far from being
+as important as the mental connotation of love or lack of love. There
+are besides the sexual factors, such tremendous egotistical factors in
+the love life (as will be shown in Chapter VIII,) that love is the
+most powerful stimulus known and the lack of love or the loss of love
+the most terrible depressant for the human organism.
+
+=The Successful Lover= has a good appetite, regular heart action,
+(hence a healthy complexion); he enjoys sleep undisturbed by
+nightmares, is capable of continued effort (good thyroid action), has
+firm muscles (regular adrenal section), is self-reliant, etc. In other
+words his organism is working on a hundred-per-cent basis and under the
+influence of that stimulation he can accomplish tasks which, under any
+other circumstances, would appear too difficult, and understand things
+which under the influence of a sluggish thyroid or bowels would have
+appeared very obscure.
+
+People indifferent to physiology might attribute some of love's magic
+results to "inspiration," to "spiritual uplift" and other vaguely
+conceived factors of a romantic and sentimental nature.
+
+I am always reminded when encountering such explanations in the
+literature of love, of the nuptial flight of the bee.
+
+When a male and female bee fall in love, they both fly to a dizzy
+height in the direction of the sun and there perform the sexual union.
+To an unscientific mind of the Maeterlinckian type, there might be in
+that picture a beautiful symbol of love's exaltation.
+
+The cold blooded scientist, on the other hand, will simply tell us that
+erotic excitement in the bee produces a large amount of irritating
+phototropic materials which compel the bees to fly toward the source of
+light.
+
+At the end of the sexual act, the production of phototropic materials
+ceases and the bees come back to earth .... like lovers tired of each
+other.
+
+In love the conqueror feels like a conqueror and is a hard adversary
+to defeat. Like the amorous bees which can reach, physically speaking,
+heights which they would never dream of exploring when out of love, the
+successful lover can rise to infinite heights physically and mentally.
+
+=The Unsuccessful Lover=, on the other hand, may be, in extreme cases,
+a pitiful individual to contemplate.
+
+The humiliation of defeat and the fear of other defeats, the starvation
+of all the senses which the love object would have gratified, produce a
+depression which stops temporarily all the life activities.
+
+Appetite is lacking and there may be nausea and vomiting; diarrhea or
+constipation replace the normal activities of the intestine, thereby
+inducing weakness or autointoxication which, through a vicious circle,
+still increase the depression. The heart action is disturbed, which
+increases the uneasiness of the sufferer, his breathing is difficult,
+causing much sighing, the surface capillaries are emptied of blood,
+producing a morbid pallor, etc.
+
+A person in that condition is incapable of continued effort in any
+direction. The stoppage of all the life functions induces a sense of
+worthlessness. The fear of defeat not infrequently drives the sufferer
+to suicide, which is a symbolic attempt at returning to the safest
+condition in which the organism ever found itself: death, the return to
+uterine life, to _mother_ earth, etc.
+
+It may, if the adrenal cortex, productive of anger and violence
+chemicals, has been sufficiently stimulated by suffering, provoke
+attempts at vengeance, cause hatred, murderous cravings, which, if
+indulged in, land the patient in jail, if repressed with difficulty,
+land him in a sanitarium.
+
+=Calf Love.= Those things should be borne in mind by parents
+attempting, for instance, to break up some absurd infatuation which is
+the more overwhelming as the unexperienced lover is not restrained by
+the many social or financial considerations which hover in the mind of
+a more sophisticated person in the throes of "erotropism."
+
+Those complications are to be borne in mind too by the psychoanalyst
+who must not mistake symptoms of physical deterioration due to
+unsatisfied love cravings with gastric or intestinal derangement due
+to toxic agents, and who must bend all his energies to separate what
+is "purely" sexual, from all the parasitic cravings of an egotistical
+nature which make the patient's sufferings more acute.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER VII
+
+                          THE SENSES IN LOVE
+
+
+Friedlander has wisely remarked that there is more sensuality than
+sexuality in love. Which after all means that sex is only a small part
+of love. It is only after the various senses have reported to the
+central nervous system the presence of numerous fetishes symbolising
+peace and safety, that the sex union is not only possible, but
+extremely attractive and creates a durable bond between two human
+beings.
+
+=Sight= is naturally the most important of the senses. Like hearing, it
+is a long distance sense, which does not require close proximity like
+smell, nor close contact like taste and touch.
+
+Thru association of memories, sight becomes the perfect, all embracing,
+descriptive sense, able to substitute for all the other senses.
+
+A glance reveals not only the color, size and shape of an object, but
+its consistency, firmness or softness, its state of preservation or
+deterioration, its probable odor and taste, etc.
+
+Sight perceives the exposed and obvious fetishes and, thru memory
+associations, imagines those which are neither exposed nor obvious.
+
+Visual sensations are the most powerful experienced by the organism;
+a slight injury to the optic nerve produces a greater shock than
+major injuries to any other nerve of the body. The popularity of
+the movies is based upon that characteristic. To the unimaginative,
+primitive people who relish that childish form of entertainment, visual
+sensations replace and suggest almost every other form of sensory
+gratification.
+
+I have shown in Chapter III that the large majority of fetishes are
+visual, being impressions of color and size, which were produced on the
+child's visual nerves thru close proximity with the mother's body.
+
+=Auditory Sensations= which enhance erotic states also hark back very
+obviously to infancy. The caressing tone of the lovers' voices, the
+well modulated words of praise which they speak to each other in a low
+monotonous sing-song during their embraces, the baby talk in which so
+many lovers indulge, remind one unavoidably of the crooned lullabies
+with which the loving mother created a state of peace and safety that
+would enable the nursling to doze off.
+
+=Smell.= In animals the sense of smell plays probably a more important
+part than the sense of sight. In man the olfactory sense has become
+more negative and protective than positive. It enables him to avoid
+rather than to locate certain objects. This partial atrophy of the
+positive olfactory capacities is undoubtedly due to the progress of
+hygiene and cleanliness in human life.
+
+The child whose mother is carefully shampooed and bathed will not
+consider strong odors emanating from hair or arm pits as a symbol of
+safety. On the contrary, they will be something foreign to him, hence
+suggestive of danger.
+
+In ancient times, bodily odors were frequently mentioned as love
+stimulants. The Homeric poems, the Song of Songs, the Kamasutra and
+other Hindoo erotic works, the Arabian Perfumed Garden and even in more
+recent times, poems like Herrick's "Julia's Sweat," extolled strong
+body odors which at the present day not only are deemed offensive but
+cannot be mentioned except in medical writings.
+
+The modern bathroom has exiled olfactory allusions from literature.
+
+Odors can be, not only fetishes but very often powerful antifetishes.
+This is partly due to a repression of the child's interest in his
+excretions which later burst forth in the use of perfume by women,
+smoking by men and women. Cigar smoking for instance supplies an outlet
+for a number of childish polymorphous perversions, to use Freud's
+expression.
+
+In this case as in many others, violent repugnance to odors good or bad
+in adulthood may be traced to a morbid craving for them in childhood.
+
+=The Sense of Taste= is not very important in love, altho some
+experienced lovers detect a distinct flavor in the skin of various
+parts of one woman's skin, cheeks, arms, etc.
+
+Taste observed in purely nutritional activities reveals constantly
+its unconscious infantile origin. However completely we may have been
+weaned, we constantly pay a tribute of appreciation to our first food.
+
+The exaggerated and unjustified importance we attribute to milk in
+the diet of adults, the way in which we designate a white complexion
+as "milky" or "creamy," and in which we praise many tender foods by
+stating that they are "like cream" or "melt in our mouth" illustrates,
+together with the popularity of breast fetishism, the influence which
+infantile gustatory impressions have made on all of us.
+
+=Touch= is probably as important as sight for physico-chemical reasons.
+All animals seem to enjoy the close contact of other animals of their
+own species. Even on very warm days, puppies, kittens and young birds
+derive a very great comfort from being huddled together in kennel,
+basket or nest.
+
+There are two reasons for that craving for contact. The safest period
+of our life which our automatic nerves remember is the fetal period
+during which the contact of the child with the womb is constant and in
+perfect relation to the fetus' growth.
+
+Also, contact facilitates the electrical exchanges between human
+beings, especially between male and female, exchanges which owing to
+the removal of organic inhibitions, must be singularly powerful between
+lovers.
+
+=Holding Hands.= Whenever conditions separate their bodies, lovers
+generally revert to the childish practice of holding hands, which to
+the child meant an assurance of safety when led by the strong parents
+and also facilitated electrical exchanges of distinct value to the
+young and old alike.
+
+=The Kiss.= This brings us to the consideration of a love
+manifestation in which sensations of a tactile, gustatory and olfactory
+character are combined: the kiss.
+
+The kiss, curiously enough, is found both in certain animal and human
+races but not in all human races.
+
+Many mammals, birds and insects exchange caresses which remind one of
+the human kiss. "Love birds" seem to spend much of their time kissing
+each other.
+
+On the other hand, Eastern races do not seem to relish the caress which
+Western peoples call a kiss. In China a form of affectionate greeting
+corresponding to our kiss consists in rubbing one's nose against the
+cheek of the other person after which a deep breath is taken thru the
+nose with the eyes half-shut.
+
+In some primitive races the equivalent for our "kiss me" is "smell me."
+In other races, the kiss is a manifestation of respect rather than a
+proof of love. Anglo Saxons on certain occasions kiss the Bible. In the
+early Christian and Arab civilisations, the kiss was a ritual gesture
+and has remained so in certain Catholic customs: kissing the pope's
+foot, relics, a bishop's ring, etc.
+
+In certain races, kissing is a proof of affection but not of love.
+Japanese mothers kiss their children but Japanese lovers do not
+exchange caresses of the lips, according to Lafcadio Hearn.
+
+The dark races of Africa are ignorant of that caress and so are the
+Malays, the aborigines of Australia and many other primitive tribes.
+
+=The Birth of the Kiss.= It appears that even among the kissing races,
+the kiss is a relatively recent development. It is rarely mentioned in
+Greek literature. In the Middle Ages it was a sign of refinement, being
+almost unknown among the lower classes.
+
+Some analysts have come to the conclusion that the kissing habit is
+derived from sucking the mother's nipple.
+
+If this was the proper explanation, all the races would naturally
+indulge in it.
+
+The kiss is infinitely more complicated than that. The Freudian
+explanation should not be discarded entirely but it does not explain
+everything.
+
+The kiss has grown in importance with the restrictions placed by
+civilisation on sexual activities. The more primitive the races, the
+more promiscuous they are and the less they kiss.
+
+The kiss seems to have become among the more repressed and advanced
+races a displacement upward of the act of possession, a sublimation of
+intercourse. It is, next to sexual union, the closest contact which the
+male and female may attain.
+
+=Kisses and Electricity.= If we adopt Crile's theory according to
+which the life stream is an electric current produced by the brain and
+constantly discharging itself, we may realise concretely the import of
+the kiss.
+
+The physical union is probably the neutralisation of two electric
+currents, positive and negative, altho we do not know as yet what
+correspondence there is between sexes and opposite electric currents.
+Anyone familiar, however, with experiences in galvanotropism, some of
+which I have mentioned in Chapter II, will when reflecting upon the way
+in which the spermatozoon directs itself infallibly toward the egg,
+conclude that it is headed toward a strong electric current issuing
+from the woman's womb and ovaries.
+
+The kiss is only a milder, less complete neutralisation of the currents
+issuing from two human beings.
+
+If the kiss on the lips is preferred by lovers, it is because the
+moist mucus of the lips is a better conductor of electrical current
+than the skin. In very passionate kisses, the lovers' tongues play a
+double part, a symbolic part, representing the mother's nipple, and
+a physico-chemical part, securing a closer connection, like plug and
+socket in electric appliances.
+
+In Anglo-Saxon fiction which does not countenance descriptions of
+lovers' embraces, a very passionate kiss is always symbolical of
+complete surrender. Physiologically this symbolism is quite accurate.
+
+The temporary exhaustion which follows a protracted kiss is often equal
+to that following a lovers' embrace and this can be easily understood
+when we remember the protracted electrical discharge which must follow
+the contact of the conductive surfaces of the mucus of the lips.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER VIII
+
+                              EGO AND SEX
+
+
+If the course of love was regulated solely by sexual factors its
+study would be a comparatively simple matter. Sexual cravings find
+themselves, however, in conflict with many other manifestations of the
+life force. For the _sexual libido_ is not the life force as certain
+psychoanalysts believe. It is only one of the manifestations of the
+electric stream produced in the brain and seeking an outlet.
+
+In fact, sex is only a _temporary_ manifestation of the life force,
+late to appear, early to disappear. Embryonic life begins several
+months before sex becomes observable in the fetus. Actual extrauterine
+life is in full swing before sex is ripe, that is, capable of
+fulfilling its biological destiny. Life continues sometimes many years
+after sex has ceased to serve its reproductive purpose.
+
+The most powerful urge to which sex has to adapt itself in the life of
+the human animal is the ego urge, the craving for food and power, the
+selfish urge par excellence. At times, sex and ego work in perfect
+accord as they should, considering the close relationship of the
+nervous divisions carrying power to them.
+
+=Neurotic Complications=, however, due to the necessary repressions of
+modern civilisation, throw them too often into conflict.
+
+We might say that there is a natural source of conflict between them,
+for the ego urge is selfish, aiming as it does at the conservation of
+the individual and its personal upbuilding, while the sex urge, whose
+aim is to assure the continuance of the species, is altruistic.
+
+By altruistic I mean that one human being must, before finding the
+complete gratification of his sex urge, join his body to that of
+another human being of the opposite sex, whose sex urge he helps
+gratify, the result of that cooperation being the creation of a third
+human being.
+
+From this we may see clearly how the neurotic temperament, unusually
+self-centered, is likely to exacerbate whatever conflicts may exist
+between ego and sex.
+
+Even in the so called normal human being, that is, the human being
+who in spite of life's repressions, manages to live at peace with his
+environment and himself, the will-to-power, the desire for possession
+and domination expresses itself constantly in what is generally
+considered as typically sexual manifestations of love.
+
+Do not lovers say that they "possess" each other. Was not the Biblical
+God power before he became creation? In the beginning there was the
+Word, that is the expression, the utterance of the divine ego.
+
+Does not the unmated God of the Western nations symbolise the absolute
+supremacy of power over sex? And when people pray to God, what do they
+ask for, in the majority of cases, if not power (help)?
+
+=Self-Love.= Yet we often consider the craving for power as a form
+of love, self-love. When Jesus said "Love thy neighbor as thyself" he
+testified to the fact that our self-love is the most powerful human
+feeling and he presented it as a goal which our love for others _might_
+reach.
+
+He admitted that we all love ourselves first and he was too world-wise
+to advise men, as some of his followers have done, to repress their
+self-love. He only advised men to try and love others as much as they
+loved themselves.
+
+All the great conflicts between nations have been precipitated by ego
+rather than by love. Love and sex were responsible, we are told for
+the most famous war in history and legend, the Trojan war. I am quite
+sceptical about it in spite of the "evidence" presented by a poet who
+probably never existed as an individual, Homer.
+
+I know, however, that the most atrocious war ever fought, the world
+war, was unchained, not by sexual jealousy, but by the most sordid, the
+grossest form of predatory ego cravings, the will-to-commercial-power.
+
+In innumerable cases, ego overpowers sex and compels it to suit its
+purposes. It masquerades in the guise of sex and deceives many as to
+its true nature. Prostitution, in its last analysis, is the enslavement
+of sex by ego, sex working to feed the ego and supply it with
+necessities or luxuries.
+
+=Ego in Sex Guise.= Certain customs of ages past are sexual
+in appearance but the egotistical motive back of them is easily
+discovered. Take the right of the first night, which in several parts
+of the world survived until modern times.
+
+The tribal chief or the lord of the manor had the right to spend a
+night with every bride within his jurisdiction before the rightful
+husband was allowed to enjoy his marital privileges. That custom made
+the first born of every family the putative descendent of the chief
+and fostered a deeper loyalty to him among his followers.
+
+Even as economic exhibitionism prompts people to spend at show
+eating places sums in no way commensurate with their hunger, or to
+buy diamonds which are not in any way beautiful but only symbolical
+of the wearer's indifference to returns on his investments, egotism
+causes many men to pretend sexual cravings which they do not feel.
+Many stage women, actresses, singers, dancers, etc., are kept by men
+whose sex life is at low ebb but who parade their "conquest" before
+their associates or perfect strangers to demonstrate their sexual and
+financial powers.
+
+=Fatherhood.= A constant craving for fatherhood is not infrequently a
+neurotic symptom, an egotistical desire to compensate for low sexual
+potency.
+
+Physicians and druggists dispensing aphrodisiacs can testify to the
+prevalence of large families in the homes of almost impotent men.
+
+The man who can fulfill his sexual duties once a year for fifteen years
+and foils his mate's attempts at contraception, is quite able to raise
+a very large family and to pass among his associates for a very virile
+man. The sight of his numerous progeny silences any scepticism as to
+his sexual vitality.
+
+Some of the most astonishing vagaries in the choice of a mate are
+traceable to purely egotistical cravings. Neurotic women married to a
+superior man may refuse to express any sexual joy in his arms. They
+remain frigid in his company and then give themselves to some rather
+inferior individual to whom they feel superior and in whose arms
+they show the most complete abandon. The medical and lay press very
+often relates cases of fine looking and apparently normal women who
+marry idiots or morons. Their sense of inferiority and their fear of
+ego-defeat makes them seek inferior mates unlikely to dominate them in
+any respect. Some young women conceal their morbid desire to mate with
+a degenerate under a philanthropic mask. They pretend, when marrying a
+drunkard or a thief, that their aim is to regenerate him.
+
+And so do some young men with an inferiority complex explain to their
+family and friends that they have married a menial or a prostitute to
+reclaim her.
+
+=War Prisoners.= German newspapers mentioned several times during the
+war that war prisoners were treated too cordially by the women, many
+of whom had affairs with the defeated enemies. In several cities, it
+became necessary for the military authorities to issue proclamations on
+the subject, berating the offenders for their "shameless behavior." The
+same facts were observed in France and in Italy altho they were given
+less prominence in the American newspapers.
+
+Why was it that those women idolised men they were supposed to hate
+as enemies and accorded sexual favors to them? Why was it that they
+did not enjoy more completely the victory of the males of their race
+and jeer at the defeated foes? Those women were neurotics who, unable
+to enjoy the embraces of victorious, superior males, felt themselves
+superior in the arms of defeated and humiliated men.
+
+=Neurotic Motherliness.= A patient of mine who had always shown herself
+rebellious in her attitude to her sexually potent lover, became all
+tenderness and submissiveness one day when sickness almost cut off his
+potency.
+
+"I never loved him as much as I did yesterday," she told me, "for I
+felt then that I could really mother him." Which translated into honest
+parlance meant, to use Adler's vocabulary, that on that occasion he was
+"below" and she was "above."
+
+=When Ego and Sex do not Conflict=, a combination of the two gives
+results which stamp human love as distinctly superior to animal
+sexuality. Just as higher egotism has created cooperation, which
+eliminates individual fights and establishes in their place group
+fighting, healthy egotism added to sex has introduced cooperation and
+altruism into love. The egotistical desire to please and dominate the
+female thru vigorous caresses has thrown into the shade the primitive
+cavemanlike ways. Man no longer strikes the female unconscious in order
+to satisfy his sex cravings on her prostrate body. His aim is rather
+to satisfy his mate first. This of course carries sexuality far away
+from its primal aims. Love's byplays, in many cases, replace love's
+specific functions, the road from sensuality to sterility being a short
+one. When the goal of sterility is attained, we see sex willingly
+relinquishing its biological aims to egotism. In the plays of sex and
+ego as in the conflicts between the two urges, ego is more frequently
+victorious than sex.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER IX
+
+                            HATRED AND LOVE
+
+
+Hatred and love seem diametrically opposed feelings. Yet there are many
+cases when love masquerades as hatred and hatred as love.
+
+Altho such hatred and such love are not genuine they may drive us at
+times into acts of cruelty or self-sacrifice which to all appearances
+seem to emanate from perfect love or from savage hatred.
+
+Very exaggerated feelings should always be viewed suspiciously as
+blinds for the opposite feelings. An extravagant display of affection
+is generally a desperate attempt on the person indulging in that
+display at repressing loathing and hatred. On the other hand, morbid
+hostility toward one person is generally an attempt at repressing a
+love which would be unjustifiable or detrimental for the personality.
+
+A few illustrations from life will make my meaning clear.
+
+=A Worried Wife.= One woman I analysed was thrown into hysterical
+anxiety whenever her husband reached home a little late. She pictured
+him dead, dismembered by a train or knocked down by robbers. When she
+first called on me, she stressed the struggle going on in her heart.
+She loved two men and her nobility of soul, her delicacy of feelings,
+and many other qualities she bestowed on herself very liberally, were
+making that double life unbearable for her. "I have wronged my dear,
+dear, hubby," she kept repeating. "And he is so good, so kind, so
+considerate."
+
+The wife who never tires of singing her husband's praise is always
+somebody else's mistress. It is generally her way of settling accounts
+with her conscience.
+
+In this case, the anxiety she felt over her husband's whereabouts and
+health when he was late in reaching home, supplied the expiation which
+neurotics seem to crave for their misdeeds.
+
+But there was more in that anxiety than one of the manifestations of
+her sense of sin. I asked her whether she had ever experienced the same
+anxiety when her lover was late in coming to their trysting place.
+
+"No," she said, "and this is what leads me to think that I don't love
+him nearly as much as I do my husband." Her reaction to her lover's
+lateness was simply one of anger. She felt herself slighted and she
+suspected him of stopping somewhere to flirt with some woman. Even
+once, when a wreck on a suburban line leading to his home town, had
+prevented him from meeting her, she never imagined him the victim of
+any accident.
+
+Further questioning elicited the information that death wishes had
+crossed her mind on several occasions in relation to her husband. She
+finally came to see that those repressed wishes were simply finding an
+outlet in her wish fulfilment fears. She was constantly visualizing the
+tragedy which would have given her her freedom.
+
+=The Test of Love.= In other words, her unconscious wished her husband
+dead. The repression of that wish compelled it to masquerade as a
+hysterical concern for his health. The thought of her lover, however,
+never suggested to her any death scenes.
+
+During the war a woman patient who had two sons at the front, was
+tortured every night by a nightmare in which she saw her older son
+killed in action. She very naturally interpreted those dreams to
+herself as convincing evidence of her greater fondness for that boy
+than for his brother. In the course of our conversations, however, she
+gradually admitted that her elder son was a gambler and drunkard and
+had found himself in many an unpleasant complication.
+
+She had thought several times, altho she had at once repressed the
+thought, that death would be preferable to his life of embarrassment
+and degradation. Those repressed death wishes found an outlet in
+nightmares accompanied by a great display of emotion consciously felt
+as love and grief.
+
+Parents who continually warn their children against accidents "likely"
+to happen to them, who grow panicky when some street commotion takes
+place and imagine that their child has been hurt or killed, are not
+quite as loving as they imagine.
+
+In such unjustified fears, as in death dreams, there lurks an ill
+concealed desire to be freed from the thraldom of parenthood and to
+regain the selfish happiness of the childless state.
+
+A young woman fainted several times when she heard shouts on the street
+where her young child had been taken by the maid. She "knew" something
+must have happened to her boy. Her dreams would with alarming frequency
+picture accidents befalling the child. After I made her realise the
+way in which her child had interfered with her social activities, with
+her attending dances, theatrical performances, etc., a change became
+noticeable in her dreams. Instead of visualising her child dead she
+saw him in her day and night dreams as an adolescent, no longer in her
+way, no longer a handicap to her in her pursuit of pleasure. Her panics
+disappeared about the same time.
+
+More elusive at times are cases of hatred which analysis reduces to a
+struggle of the personality against an inacceptable love.
+
+=Sour Grapes.= A man, unduly attracted to a woman who socially,
+intellectually or financially, is or should remain outside of his
+reach, and would probably make an impossible mate, is likely to
+manifest violent hostility to her, to disparage her or even slander her.
+
+Every analyst has seen in his office the middle aged woman who "breaks
+down" soon after her daughter's marriage to a man whom she "despises."
+Either a family scene or a campaign of nagging and disparagement has
+caused a break between her and her daughter and son-in-law.
+
+Analysis reveals that she is love with her son-in-law, a situation more
+frequent than the layman imagines. This infatuation which she cannot
+accept as a fact is repressed savagely. To protect herself against
+overt acts which would make her sinful or ridiculous, she exaggerates
+every defect of the man she loves. She pursues him with a stubbornness
+which cannot deceive a psychologist. His name is constantly on her
+lips, coupled, of course, with abusive remarks, but the fact remains
+that she is constantly speaking, if not dreaming of him.
+
+Her peace of mind is only restored to her when she accepts as a fact
+a situation which need not be translated into a transgression of the
+ethical laws.
+
+For, in spite of what puritanical critics of psychoanalysis repeat,
+a conscious sex craving is more easily controlled and less likely to
+overthrow our willpower than an unconscious one.
+
+=Brothers and Sisters.= A similar complication is frequently found, as
+I stated in Chapter V, in the history of neurotic brothers and sisters.
+
+A brother and sister may to all appearance be irreconcilable enemies.
+
+Investigate their childhood and you will find memories of actual or
+attempted incestuous indiscretions which, after a while, were repressed
+either by punishment or voluntary restraint. In later years, fear
+of a possible recurrence of tabooed incidents may express itself in
+the shape of hatred leading at times to acute family conflicts, the
+brother or sister running away, the sister becoming a prostitute, etc.
+
+When hatred is unmasked and revealed as one of the avatars of
+inacceptable love, it dies off and is replaced by protective measures
+of a less objectionable nature, reserve or distance.
+
+=A Negro Hater.= A hysterical patient of mine who had always been a
+terrific negro hater and advocate of lynching, was disturbed at night
+by symbolic sexual dreams in which negroes took an active part. She
+could not help feeling uneasy in the presence of a colored man. "Those
+beasts" was her favorite designation for colored people.
+
+What drove her into my office was that on one occasion she had behaved
+in a, to her, inconceivable way to a colored janitor's helper who had
+come to her apartment to inspect the radiator.
+
+The presence of that man had aroused her so powerfully that for a
+few minutes she had been on the point of making advances to him. She
+fortunately came to her senses and fled from what had always been to
+her an unconscious temptation.
+
+Such incidents as that make one wonder how many lynchings have been
+precipitated by the hysterical actions of neurotic women.
+
+It may be stated broadly that every exaggerated attempt at protecting
+ourselves against a danger or a temptation is a confession on our part
+that the danger or the temptation is very fascinating to us.
+
+=Reformers.= Many "bold" reformers are merely very weak individuals
+struggling against sexual temptation and hating some vice which holds
+them in its power. The biography of Anthony Comstock which I have
+reviewed in detail in "Psychoanalysis and Behavior" proves that the
+obscenity he was so stubbornly ferreting held a strange fascination for
+him.
+
+I must not create the absurd impression, however, that all reformers
+are abnormal and moved by neurotic impulses. But between the scientist
+who warns people of venereal disease and combats it whenever possible
+and the so called "syphilophobiac" who sees everywhere chances for
+infection and would jail every prostitute, there is a great difference.
+
+=The Syphilophobiac= is always a weak, oversexed individual, whose
+only protection against his promiscuous cravings is the fear of disease
+and the absurd assumption that every woman is infected.
+
+The syphilophobiac hates prostitutes because he would love them too
+well but for the protection he erects between their body and his
+desire. The feverish energy displayed by many prohibition enthusiasts
+is at bottom the hurrying away from a temptation to which they know
+they would have to yield. The great prohibitionists crave alcohol and
+could not, without a terrible struggle, protect themselves against the
+lure of drunkenness if strong beverages were available.
+
+The stage has pictured many times the crusty old bachelor who is a
+ferocious woman hater. In the end he succumbs to the wiles of the
+ingénue, who is generally the first woman he ever associated with.
+
+The poor devil realised too well all his life the irresistible charm
+of women as well as his overwhelming craving for love and the joys of
+the flesh. Some neurotic incest fear, or craving for selfish pleasures,
+or money complex, however, caused him to avoid women and to protect
+himself against them by a display of hostility. The first time,
+however, when fate forces him into close contact with temptation he has
+to yield.
+
+=Deluded Martyrs.= In every social upheaval there are martyrs who
+sacrifice themselves for apparently very noble causes but whose
+unconscious reasons for their acts are much less sublime. Stupid
+bomb throwers who wreck a building or kill an individual, (acts most
+unlikely to change a social system to which they object), profess
+to be moved by their love for the people. Their actual motive is
+father hatred. Brutus and others who delivered the "people" from some
+"tyrant," in reality gratified an unconscious grudge and sought their
+own liberation from some form of authority made loathsome by infantile
+complexes.
+
+The most grotesque example of it was the destruction of the Bastille
+on July 14, 1789 by a French mob which imagined that it was thereby
+freeing crowds of innocent prisoners and abolishing arbitrary death
+sentences. There were less than a dozen people in the fortress at that
+time. The mob venting its wrath on a symbol of authority pretended to
+be animated by a love of freedom and a desire to benefit others.
+
+
+
+
+                               CHAPTER X
+
+                      PLURAL LOVE AND INFIDELITY
+
+
+Lecture audiences often ask me whether plural love is possible. This
+would indicate on the part of the questioner a more or less unconscious
+wish to justify polygamous cravings. Plural marriages exist but I doubt
+whether any such thing as plural love has even been observed at any
+period of mankind's history.
+
+For the most complicated examples of plural marriage, as for all the
+varieties of sexual complications, we must turn to Greece of the
+classical period. Demosthenes wrote somewhere: "We have prostitutes to
+give us pleasure, concubines to minister to our daily needs and wives
+to bear us children and to watch over our homes."
+
+When we remember that besides the three types of women with whom they
+had sexual relations, many and among them some of the greatest men of
+those times, indulged in homosexual unions with young men of feminine
+appearance, we must draw two conclusions: first, that those men must
+have been sexual supermen, as they were at times mental supermen,
+second, that love as we understand it at the present day, can only have
+had very little to do with their sexual life.
+
+Modern love as we shall see in Chapter XXXI means mutual love, the
+equal gratification of the mates thru the rites of sex communion.
+
+=Plural Love=, be it of the ancient Greek type, of the Oriental or
+mormon type, means varietism for the male, scanty gratification for
+the female. At best a mild form of sexual slavery, most humiliating to
+the woman and possible only under a social system debarring woman from
+financial independence.
+
+Only a man suffering from priapism could gratify the eroticism of a
+large number of wives and the latest or youngest wife would naturally
+receive a larger share of physical attention than the earlier and
+older mates. The jealousy and hatred thus engendered are in no way
+minimised by the fact that the custom of certain lands countenances
+such arrangements.
+
+=Polyandry= as it existed in ancient times and still exsists in Tibet,
+where a woman marries several men (generally brothers) may be more
+satisfactory for the primitive female. Owing to her physiological make
+up, and also to her passive rôle in love, woman can gratify several
+men and receive gratification from them. The neurotic disturbances
+which may arise as a result of a woman's lack of sexual gratification
+are avoided by the polyandric scheme of union. But this is the only
+superiority which polyandry has over polygamy.
+
+Both polygamous and polyandric nations and civilisations have gradually
+receded as far as numerical importance and world prestige go and both
+institutions are bound to disappear.
+
+The development of the human ego, both in men and women, will not
+permit much longer of the enslavement of one sex to gratify the
+pleasures of the other. Nor can any group, male or female, enforce its
+domination over individuals of the opposite sex and make them accept
+the dogma of an inferior sex by embodying that dogma in any religious
+creed of the mormon or mohammedan type.
+
+=Infidelity.= Plural love is passing but infidelity has taken its
+place in every possible respect as a sexual and an egotistical form of
+gratification.
+
+When dealing with infidelity we must establish a careful distinction
+between forms of infidelity due to "normal" causes and other forms
+due to unconscious complexes. On the other hand we should beware of
+admitting, as many unscientific writers do, that there is a distinct
+difference of attitude to infidelity in the two sexes.
+
+That shortsighted viewpoint has been unfortunately voiced in hundreds
+of popular sayings which represent man as the great examplary of
+infidelity and woman as faithfulness incarnate.
+
+Economic conditions, not sexual differences, are at the bottom of the
+levity with which men treat their heart affairs and of the gravity with
+which women, officially at least, consider the marriage relationship.
+
+Financial dependence and the fear of motherhood compel the
+domesticated, parasitic type of woman to secure the services of a
+breadwinner, and after achieving that object, to avoid hurting his
+susceptibilities.
+
+Independent and professional women, especially the sterile or
+sterilised ones, are frankly "masculine" in their love habits.
+
+But I insist on considering certain forms of infidelity as normal and
+others as abnormal, independently from the question as to whether they
+are socially desirable or undesirable.
+
+The human type which is so perfectly normal that it has no fixation
+and no definite fetishes, except species fetishes, and which weaklings
+and puritans designate as "animal," is not likely to be faithful to any
+mate. Like every strong and healthy animal at rutting time, he or she
+is sexually aroused by every individual of the opposite sex. No safety
+complex restrains him as far as sexuality is concerned. The only fears
+which restrain his search for gratification are fear of exposure and
+ostracism within his herd, fear of pregnancy or infection and fear of
+final complications, not to mention of course the fear of inflicting
+suffering upon a lifemate of whom he may be extremely fond.
+
+For we must never forget the fact, unpleasant as it may appear to
+unscientific hypocrites, that lasting love is a matter of fixation and
+fetishism, hence, always slightly tainted with neurosis.
+
+=When Love Dies.= "Normal" infidelity may also be merely the only hope
+of sexual gratification for the normal man or woman whose mate has
+ceased to present the fetishes needed to awaken his or her eroticism.
+Healthy individuals are neither willing nor capable to forego sexual
+gratification. Now and then complications arise, a man being very
+fond, for sexual reasons, of a woman who would prove undesirable as
+his mate and, for sentimental reasons, of a woman who is infinitely
+congenial but no longer arouses his desire. Likewise, a woman may be
+deeply attached to both her lover and her husband. Ivan Bloch writes:
+"It is quite possible to love more than one person at the same time
+with nearly equal tenderness and be honestly able to assure each of the
+passion felt for him or her. The vast psychic differentiation involved
+by modern civilization increases the possibility of this double love
+for it is difficult to find one's complement in a single person and
+this applies to women as well as to men."
+
+George Hirth, in his "Wege zur Heimat" also points out that women,
+as well as men, can love two persons at the same time. Men flatter
+themselves with the prejudice that the female heart, or rather brain,
+can only hold one man at a time and that if there is a second man, it
+is by a kind of prostitution. Nearly all the erotic writers, poets
+and novelists, even physicians and psychologists, belong to this
+class. They look upon a woman as property and of course two men cannot
+"possess" one woman.
+
+"Regarding novelists, however," remarks Havelock Ellis, "the remark
+may be interpolated that there are many exceptions. Thomas Hardy, for
+instance, frequently represents a woman as more or less in love with
+two men at the same time."
+
+Hirth maintains that a woman is not necessarily obliged to be untrue to
+one man because she has conceived a passion for another man. "Today,"
+Hirth writes, "truly love and justice can count as honorable motives
+in marriage. The modern man accords to the beloved wife and life
+companion the same freedom he himself took before marriage, and perhaps
+still, takes in marriage. If she makes no use of it, as is to be
+hoped, so much the better. But let there be no lies, no deception, the
+indispensable foundation of modern marriage is boundless sincerity and
+friendship, the deepest trust, affectionate devotion and consideration.
+That is the best safeguard against adultery. Let him, however, who is,
+nevertheless, overtaken by the outbreak of it, console himself with the
+undoubted fact that of two real lovers, the most noble minded and deep
+seeing friend will always have the preference."
+
+Even under an economic system countenancing free love and birth
+control, such complications would surely arise and cause much suffering.
+
+=Bored Wives.= Infidelity is often also a refuge from boredom for
+the middle class woman who has no definite training or ability in
+any direction and is thereby condemned to idleness. Left alone all
+day and a few evenings every month by a busy husband, she yearns for
+companionship. Unless she is slightly homosexual, she soon tires of
+stupid teas, bridge and gossip parties and she accepts the attentions
+of some man who brings into her life a little romance and a different
+aspect of the world's activities. The French cynic Willy had that type
+in mind when he wrote: "adultery has become the key stone of society.
+By making married life tolerable it prevents the breaking up of the
+home."
+
+Besides normal sexual cravings, there are many unconscious or only
+partly conscious causes which drive human beings into being faithless
+to their life mates.
+
+Many women take lovers, many men take mistresses for purely egotistical
+reasons. Justly or unjustly they feel a certain lack of appreciation in
+their mates and make up their minds to get even with them.
+
+="Getting Even"= is one of the great neurotic cravings, one which
+has led to numberless offences, including crime and suicide.
+
+To some neurotics with a sense of inferiority, an extramatrimonial
+affair seems to be the sole means of restoring one's self confidence.
+"I am of no account at home but to some one else I mean the world."
+
+Many neurotics use "romance" and "inspiration" as convenient scapegoats.
+
+"But for the inspiration I derive from my affair with So and So, I
+could not do my work properly," and this is true in a good many cases,
+but in many more cases, any one else would do just as well as a lover
+or mistress. Some neurotics, who remind one of Madame Bovary, the
+heroine of Flaubert's great novel, feel that accomplishment and the
+fullness of life are naturally associated with sexual irregularities.
+
+Too inferior to accomplish anything by dint of hard work, Emma Bovary
+childishly expected love to accomplish everything for her. Other
+neurotics, incapable of any creative work, consider romance as an
+achievement in itself and proceed to call every carnal dissipation
+romance. Just as inferior boys at the gang age steal or destroy in an
+absurd attempt at "doing something out of the ordinary."
+
+Some neurotics never feel safe very long with any sexual mate; they
+grow afraid or suspicious and seek safety in the arms of some other
+human being in whom they unconsciously hope to find the father or
+mother image to which they were over-attached. Their search for the
+safe mate, that is, for the parent image, is, of course, always
+unsuccessful.
+
+=Varietists.= I have observed a number of men and women who liked
+to designate themselves as varietists and who were simply unconscious
+or partly conscious homosexuals struggling against perverse tendencies
+to which they did not wish to yield.
+
+I have seen in my office several Don Juans who were unconsciously
+attracted to men and refused for a long while to admit that such a
+craving was a part of their personality. Every woman they met only
+meant one thing to them: "If I could capture her, I would feel sure
+that I was a real man." A few days after catching their prey they were
+once more obsessed by doubts and had to seek new evidence.
+
+Many partly conscious homosexuals seek women who in their appearance,
+manner of dress and behavior are the best substitutes for men, that is,
+mannish girls, flat chested, with narrow hips, bobbed hair, wearing
+tailor-made garments, engaged in masculine pursuits, etc.
+
+They often meet with disappointment for such women are frequently
+homosexual and hence unlikely to yield to a man. When the woman is
+sexually normal, however, the neurotic's happiness is far from assured.
+As soon as sentimentalism or tenderness allows the feminine component
+of those masculine women to break thru their masculinity, the
+unconscious homosexual loses his love for them. One patient of mine did
+his hunting among equestriennes in Central Park. On two occasions his
+attentions were accepted. His disappointment was terrible; calling upon
+the women who had attracted him when wearing a mannish derby and riding
+breeches, he was greeted by very womanly persons attired in the most
+feminine finery.
+
+Several times in his life my patient has been in love with rather
+masculine women. The first flash of femininity in them had always cured
+him entirely of his infatuation.
+
+=The Ultrafeminine.= Other homosexuals struggling savagely against
+the appeal of the masculine, seek safety in the arms of extremely
+feminine creatures who could not in any way awaken the slightest
+suggestion of a perversion.
+
+Their obsessive fear, however, does not allow them to enjoy the affair
+very long. Small physical details which a normal man would not notice
+suddenly fill them with fear or disgust. A masculine gesture, a raucous
+intonation, a slight growth of hair on the upper lip or the limbs may
+suggest unavoidably the sex from which they are fleeing in panic. Their
+love cools off and safety has to be sought, altho it is never found,
+in the arms of some other woman of very feminine appearance, who is in
+turn discarded for the same absurd reasons.
+
+As fixations and fetishism have infinitely more importance for men
+than for women (see Chapter III) the male neurotic is naturally more
+"promiscuous" and faithless than the female neurotic.
+
+=Messalina.= Every psychoanalyst, however, has met the Messalina
+type, who is constantly seeking the "love that will endure." Like her
+masculine counterpart, the Don Juan, she is in the majority of cases
+seeking safety and trying, by conquering many men, to reestablish her
+self-confidence which every little disappointment and humiliation
+destroys so easily.
+
+However loving and worshipful the neurotic's mate may be, he or she
+cannot hope to save the neurotic from further love entanglements.
+One of the most striking neurotic traits is a craving to disparage
+everything and everybody in his environment.
+
+The praise of the most affectionate husband or lover, wife or mistress,
+is insufficient to raise the neurotic's self-esteem. With all
+neurotics, familiarity breeds contempt and it must be from the lips of
+a new man or new woman that they must hear their praise sung before
+their feeling of inferiority is deadened and allows them to enjoy that
+praise.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XI
+
+                        IS FREE LOVE POSSIBLE?
+
+
+"American Medicine" commenting upon the fact that divorces have
+increased twenty per cent in eight years and that, if the rate of
+increase continues, there will be as many divorces as marriages in
+thirty years from now, reaches the conclusion that "the individual has
+moved on far in the past two thousand years, while the institution of
+marriage has remained unaltered through the centuries.... The basis
+of marriage as it was originally conceived was entirely a racial one
+in which the individual counted for little; it was meant as a means
+of building a family and conserving it. Nothing else counted and the
+primitive individual exacted little else.... The modern man and woman
+demands in his mate more than that and it is here that the marriage
+institution is most defective in that it does not yield to these
+greater demands."
+
+Polygamy and polyandry have been found wanting and have been abandoned.
+Monogamy is, at the present day, tempered by frequent infidelity and
+numerous divorces. Which means that it does not satisfy the needs of
+the human race. Shall free love offer a solution?
+
+=Man the Dissatisfied.= I might as well voice here my pessimistic
+belief that there is no permanent solution for any human problems.
+The only tangible difference between man and the animals is that the
+animals are satisfied and man everlastingly dissatisfied. No cat was
+ever dissatisfied enough with the primitive feline way of catching mice
+to invent a mouse trap.
+
+The animals solved their problems thousands of years ago. Unless
+domesticated and exposed to the exclusive influence of men, they never
+vary from the form of behavior of their particular species.
+
+The only problem they have been unable to solve is how to get rid of
+man, the invader and parasite, and they will never cope with it.
+
+Man's satisfaction with every new improvement is only temporary.
+
+=The Next Step.= Free love may be the next step in the evolution
+of the sexual partnership but it certainly will not be _the_ solution
+of the marriage problem.
+
+As far as the mates themselves are concerned, free love will only be a
+success in the case of extremely normal individuals for whom the sexual
+relationship means solely physical gratification. As soon as affection
+intervenes in those unions, the thousand forms of jealousy we shall
+describe in another chapter will enter into play.
+
+Jealousy among free lovers cannot but rage more fiercely than among the
+legally married. A thousand details of married life are simply meant to
+establish the mates' ownership of each other in their own eyes and in
+the eyes of the world. The number of war marriages contracted hastily
+during the great European conflict by young men and women on the eve
+of the bridegroom's departure for Europe testifies to the powerful
+"safety" symbolism of the marriage ceremony.
+
+A gullible young man in love with a girl would not have trusted her
+alone during his absence from home. She might have experienced a change
+of heart. After going thru a wedding ceremony with him, however, he
+_knew_ that she could not change her mind and love another. As a matter
+of fact most of those unions were disastrous. A virgin might have
+waited. A young woman left alone after a few days of erotic enjoyment
+was naturally an easy prey for any clever tempter. The bridegroom,
+on the other hand, went away blissfully, secure in the thought
+that the marriage certificate, the ceremony, the wedding ring, the
+transformation of Mary Brown into Mrs. John Smith would protect his
+"honor" while he was away.
+
+=Blissful Blindness.= Some of the cleverest, most cynically suspicious
+husbands and wives go thru life blissfully blind to their mate's
+sidesteps. They see thru anyone else's husband or wife but they seldom
+suspect _their_ husband or _their_ wife. The stress which they place on
+the possessive works in their case as the fetish which a savage takes
+into battle. In hoc signo vinces.
+
+It is only in the so called smart set that men and women allude to
+their mates by their first names. The working classes, sexually the
+most conservative and puritanical, use the expressions "my man" or "the
+missus"; middle class men and women pompously refer to their mates
+as Mr. Smith or Mrs. Smith, always reminding their hearers of the
+legitimacy of their union. The celebration of wooden weddings, silver
+weddings, etc., is a means of reminding the community that Mr. and
+Mrs. John Smith _own_ each other, just as the engagement diamond is a
+scarecrow proportionate in visibility to the prospective bridegroom's
+fortune.
+
+Even if free love unions became the adopted standard of the land, those
+unions would be celebrated with appropriate ritual, the aim of which
+would be to tie the man to the woman and the woman to the man and to
+warn away sexual hunters of both sexes.
+
+Free love will not be possible until the absolute equality of men and
+women has been accepted, not only theoretically but practically.
+
+Before that equality is a fact, there must be written into the
+statute books some form of financial assistance to the woman disabled
+by pregnancy and lactation and which will enable her to retain her
+independence regardless of her physiological condition.
+
+Even this will not be enough. Birth control measures will have to
+become lawful and the subject of careful scientific teaching before
+woman can hope to lead her life unenslaved to her children's father.
+
+=What of the Child?= Besides, in free love arrangements, the mates
+are not the only parties to be considered. There is a party of the
+third part: the children, if any.
+
+If a perfectly independent male decides to cohabit for an indefinite
+period of time with a perfectly independent female, the community can
+hardly interpose any objection. For after all, most of our ethical
+indignation at the thought of temporary unions is due to the miserly
+fear of the community lest a pregnant woman and fatherless children
+be thrown upon it for support. No one's rights would be trespassed
+upon by such arrangements, ephemeral as they might be. As they would
+not cost anyone any money they would be considered acceptable. When
+a self supporting Sarah Bernhardt or Isadora Duncan bears children
+out of wedlock and we run no risk of being taxed for the support of
+her "illegitimate" progeny, we assume more liberal views than we
+would should a stenographer or a switchboard operator commit the same
+"errors."
+
+When children are the outcome of any form of union, however, the
+psychoanalyst, broad as he may be, is compelled to remember the pitiful
+stories he has heard in his office. No neurotic ever had a pleasant
+childhood. No neurotic was the child of a father and mother united
+by real love and manifesting within the family circle the mutual
+tenderness which is the poetry or the music of the home.
+
+=Disharmony Between the Parents=, culminating in divorce or
+desertion, has wrecked the future of thousands of children. Not every
+unhappy home has produced neurotics, but, every neurotic is the
+product of undesirable home conditions.
+
+Furthermore, it seems as tho a child in order to reach normal
+adulthood should be brought up by both a male and female. Many male
+homosexuals I have observed were brought up by a widowed mother or a
+woman abandoned by her husband or lover. In other cases, impotence or
+frigidity affected respectively boys and girls who had lost the parent
+of the same sex. Many other disturbances of the mental life, due to
+incompleteness of the parental environment or to its imperfection,
+could be mentioned if the limits of this book would permit.
+
+From the point of view of psychiatry, there is only one answer to be
+given to the question if free love is acceptable. Free love _must_
+be supplemented by birth control. Those free lovers who decide to
+procreate children must also agree to live together until the youngest
+of their offspring has reached at least its fifteenth year.
+
+Creating children with the intention of turning them over to some
+charitable institution is also a proposition which to a student of
+mental disturbances appears just short of criminal.
+
+=The Institution Child.= Few children thrive well mentally or
+physically under institutional treatment.
+
+Children need love in order to grow strong mentally or physically. I
+read somewhere a story to the effect that a mediaeval ruler directed
+that some children be brought up by nurses who would never show them
+the slightest sign of affection or interest, his aim being, if my
+memory serves me well, to make extremely virile fighters out of those
+children, by protecting them against any weakening influence.
+
+As the story goes, all the children died.
+
+I do not vouch for the authenticity of the story but the vital
+statistics of orphan asylums affirm its plausibility. Children fare
+better in a poor, unsanitary home, at the hands of a stupid and
+ignorant but affectionate mother than in an up to date, well appointed,
+sanitary asylum. They need, in order to develop a strong, serviceable,
+well balanced autonomic nervous system, the safety which emanates from
+the breasts, the kisses, the hands, the admiring glances of their
+mother.
+
+If no doting mother has ever told a child that he is wonderful and the
+most precious thing on earth, he will never quite consider himself as
+of much avail and will probably never become wonderful in any respect.
+
+=Free Love Plus Birth Control= may reduce the actual population of the
+earth, but when only real lovers deeply attached to each other and only
+bound to each other by sexual desire and intellectual regard, will live
+together and decide to rear children as a monument to their love, free
+love and birth control will cause the population of insane asylums to
+dwindle to nothing and will save the world from the thousands of morons
+and neurotics who are the products of married disharmony and married
+slavery.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XII
+
+                             PROSTITUTION
+
+
+Prostitution, as I stated in a previous chapter is one of the results
+of the overthrowing of sex by the ego. The craving for food and power
+triumphs over all the sexual cravings and compels one individual to
+pursue apparently sexual goals which are no longer sexual as far
+as that individual is concerned. The female prostitute lends her
+sexual organs to many men for money (food, power), not for her own
+gratification or to reproduce her species.
+
+That phenomenon is very complex and cannot be dealt with in detail
+within the limits of this book. I shall confine myself to pointing
+out some of the psychological problems which have to be elucidated
+before the causes, nature and results of prostitution can be clearly
+understood.
+
+=Economic Factors.= Certain radicals simplify a little too much the
+problem of prostitution by considering it solely as a by-product of the
+competitive system which would disappear as soon as a more equitable
+system of production and distribution was introduced into the modern
+world.
+
+No one can deny that under our social system, woman, burdened as she
+is, by many physical and social handicaps, is easily driven to the wall
+in times of stress and compelled to sell her body. Nor is there any
+doubt that under a system assuring every one a livelihood, regardless
+of business conditions, many women would be saved from adopting such a
+disgusting form of labor.
+
+At the same time, the radical interpretation fails to explain why, when
+submitted to a practically identical pressure, some women do not become
+prostitutes but either kill themselves or beg or steal.
+
+=Lombroso's Theory.= Very unsatisfactory also is Lombroso's attitude to
+prostitution.
+
+He finds a constant coincidence between prostitution and crime and
+states that the female offender _is_ a prostitute, one of the varieties
+of the "reo nato," of the born criminal.
+
+The female offender is not always a prostitute and modern research
+makes the theory of "congenital criminality" untenable.
+
+Kurt Schneider in his exhaustive study of seventy prostitutes brings
+out interesting details of their biography which throw a clearer light
+upon the psychology of prostitution.
+
+There were certain characteristics which all of those seventy women
+exhibited. They were all unwilling to work. They all were very
+grasping, altho, at the same time, very extravagant spenders when
+it came to personal adornment. Eroticism seemed to play a very
+insignificant part in their choice of a livelihood. Most of them were
+frigid, many homosexual, the majority of them sadistic.
+
+Fifteen of them had been punished for larceny (money and clothes).
+
+Many of them kept a pimp or cadet.
+
+Most of them were unhappy, dissatisfied types.
+
+All of them were greatly attached to children.
+
+Many of them were drunkards.
+
+One half of them were weak minded.
+
+Seven per cent of them had been brought up in institutions.
+
+We have there a striking picture of inferiority. An endocrinological
+examination of those unfortunates, similar to those which have been
+conducted recently at St. Elizabeth Hospital, Washington, D. C., would
+have probably revealed back of their unwillingness to work and of their
+thirst for money, weak thyroids and poor adrenals, not to mention
+unbalanced pituitary glands. The fires of the body burnt slow in them,
+producing and consuming little energy, a condition which, causing an
+obscure unconscious fear of the future, compelled those women to seek
+easy ways of gathering money, the only protection they could think of.
+Their inferiority complex revealed itself in their craving for personal
+adornment, to which they sacrificed their protective earnings.
+
+=Sensuality.= All the rant of the purity prophets to the contrary
+notwithstanding, it is not sensuality which "lures" women into a "life
+of shame."
+
+If the prostitute sought in her means of livelihood mere gratification
+of "vicious" instincts, why would she so often submit to the whims
+of a pimp who despoils her of her earnings. The prostitute hates the
+men who can compel her thru their financial superiority to submit to
+their sexual desires. The pimp, whom she keeps and who depends upon her
+bounty, is her inferior and the more she degrades him, the less she
+feels her own degradation.
+
+The prostitute, like all inferiors, is dissatisfied, but so are the man
+of genius, the inventor and the artist. The genius is the dissatisfied
+individual who organically is able to compensate for his feeling
+of inferiority by creating a more pleasant environment, physical
+or mental, and derives therefrom credit, praise, rewards, small as
+those rewards may be. The prostitute, too weak organically to find
+a suitable, socially valuable, form of compensation, flees from a
+reality which is unpleasant to her. Alcohol and drugs supply her with a
+convenient form of escape from reality, the more acceptable to her as
+her intelligence is the more limited.
+
+=Father Fixation.= Kurt Schneider found that fifty per cent of the
+prostitutes he examined were weak minded. The Chicago Vice report
+published a few years ago revealed the fact that fifty per cent of the
+prostitutes examined by the vice investigators were the victims of a
+violent father fixation.
+
+One half of them, when asked by whom they had been seduced,
+incriminated their fathers. To a psychoanalyst such an answer is an
+obvious morbid wish fulfilment.
+
+All of the women probably experienced unconscious incestuous cravings
+at some time or other, and in the minds of the weak minded, (fifty per
+cent of them according to Schneider), those cravings had produced an
+absolute delusion. Whether the incest was real or imaginary, the fact
+remains that those unfortunates either believed in it or considered it
+as a plausible explanation and scapegoat. A lie, when accepted as a
+part of our biography, often affects us as mightily as tho it were an
+actual fact. For, after all, every lie we tell is a fact unconsciously
+acceptable to us and which affords our ego a certain protection.
+
+The woman with a father fixation is usually frigid. She either never
+marries or is a prey to prostitution fancies, until analysis has
+freed her of her unconscious incest fear or has led her to accept her
+incestuous cravings as a part of her personality.
+
+=Prostitution is a neurosis=, affecting mostly the hypothyroid,
+hypoadrenal female of low culture and low intelligence.
+
+Psychoanalysis, which requires a certain grade of mental development on
+the part of the patient, is rather impotent in the majority of cases
+of prostitution when the woman has crossed the line which separates
+fancies from practice.
+
+There are male prostitutes also, of the normal sexual type. I do not
+allude here to the homosexual males whose mentality shall be considered
+in another chapter. By male prostitutes, I mean men who consort with
+women, in or out of wedlock, for purely sordid considerations.
+
+=The Pimp= who exploits some prostitute is a prostitute himself, but so
+is the man who marries for money or power a woman who does not attract
+him sexually. The male prostitute is, if anything, ethically inferior
+to the female prostitute.
+
+=Prevention=, rather than any form of cure, may some day solve
+the problem of prostitution. Repressive measures are, of course,
+a dishonest farce which deceives no one and benefits no one. The
+prostitute cannot be reeducated or adapted, for she is a weakling and
+the modern world offers to her no equivalent for what she would have
+to give up in order to reform. Female children, on the other hand, if
+trained properly and made independent, mentally and financially, could
+grow up free from the handicaps and the fears which, at the present
+day, drive too many girls into adopting the "easiest way."
+
+=Prostitution has no redeeming grace.= It may have saved many
+young men from impotence but it has made quite as many impotent thru
+venereal infection. Some claim that it has saved many pure wives and
+daughters from temptation but it has contributed also thru infection to
+making thousands of innocent women sexual invalids.
+
+Prostitution is a maladjustment whose worst sin is perhaps the
+maladjustment of married life which it occasions in thousands of cases.
+
+Too many young men, who acquired their sexual experience with
+prostitutes solely, imagine that they know and understand women, and
+they proceed to treat their life mates as tho the latter were only
+slightly different from the unfortunate neurotics they hired to relieve
+their sexual cravings. To that sort of experience we owe the horrible
+type of the "typical husband" who never misses an opportunity of
+reminding his wife of the fact that "she is only a woman."
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XIII
+
+                               VIRGINITY
+
+
+I am very sceptical when it comes to drawing a clear line of cleavage
+between what is typically masculine and what is typically feminine
+in behavior, and I believe that many of the so-called fundamental
+differences between the sexes are artificial and temporary ones due
+to the economic and social pressure which woman has to bear. Even in
+the valuation of virginity, it is difficult to say that there is a
+masculine attitude and a feminine attitude.
+
+Broadly speaking, we might state however that women, the world over,
+are more indifferent to the prematrimonial past of their future
+husbands than men are to the purity of their brides.
+
+=Men Experienced in Matters of Love= wield a definite attraction
+over all women, whether the latter are willing to admit it or not.
+
+This is not due to any especially feminine trait but rather to the
+difficulties which women encounter when they endeavor to secure
+positive information on tabooed sexual topics. They expect, therefore,
+their initiators to be conversant with the subject which is kept
+carefully shrouded in morbid mystery.
+
+The majority of men, on the other hand, when marrying a woman who is
+neither a widow nor a divorcée, expect her to be absolutely pure, that
+is, not to have had any sexual relations with any other man.
+
+=Ethical Prostitution.= In certain parts of the world, on the other
+hand, males appear rather indifferent to the female's past. In some
+parts of Japan and among certain Arab tribes, comely girls may go to
+larger centers of the population and devote themselves for a period
+of years to prostitution. After which, they return to their native
+place sometimes with a dowry they have accumulated thriftily, find a
+husband and settle down as wives and mothers, in no way disqualified
+by their promiscuous past. In certain parts of Central Europe, "window
+courting," as it is sometimes called, leads to unofficial trial
+marriages which do not arouse the jealousy of the final winner of a
+girl's favours.
+
+Among the Western nations, it is rather the very young, the stupidly
+conservative, the unsophisticated and the senile, who consider
+virginity as a great attraction and in some cases as a powerful sexual
+stimulant.
+
+The reasons for that are to be sought in the egotistical component of
+the masculine attitude. The strong and powerful male who has frequently
+proved his virility is not obsessed by the fear of defeat in love's
+intimacies.
+
+The innocent young man, on the other hand, who is full of misgivings
+and of diffidence, the elderly man whose sexual powers are on the wane
+and who is no longer sure of himself, prefer a woman who is totally
+ignorant of physical love. Their embarrassment or their shortcomings
+may escape a virgin but would not escape a woman of the world, a widow
+or a divorcée.
+
+There is, therefore, in the search for virginity, a slightly neurotic
+factor, the fear of defeat, the line of least effort, the search for
+ego safety.
+
+It must be noticed that it was during the great neurotic ages, the
+Middle Ages, which witnessed the bursting forth of so many hysterical
+epidemics, that both the cult of the Virgin and the belief in witches
+spread over Europe.
+
+=The Fear of Woman.= Man has always tried to protect himself against
+woman. In his fear of sex equality he has either made her an angel or
+a beast. The witch, perverse and filthy, was lowered to the level of
+hell. The virgin, on the other hand, unsexed and raised to heaven, was
+removed far enough from the world for perfect safety.
+
+=The Will-to-Be-the-First.= In the overemphasis placed by certain
+men upon virginity in the woman, and in the anxiety shown by certain
+husbands at the thought that their wife may have had sexual relations
+with another man previous to her marriage, we see the operation of the
+neurotic trait which Adler has called "the will-to-be-the-first" and
+which manifests itself, not only in the love life, but in all of life's
+situations.
+
+The neurotic of that type, obsessed with a feeling of inferiority is
+tortured by the thought that he may not have been the first to caress
+his wife. Analysis proves that in early childhood, he had a tendency
+(observable in certain breeds of dogs) to try to outrun every waggon,
+horse, train, etc.; that in later life he always tries to walk ahead
+when in company and hastens his steps whenever anyone threatens to pass
+him on the street. That type is given to hero worship, as he likes to
+identify himself with his favorite hero, Cæsar, Napoleon, etc. States
+of anxiety develop whenever his preeminence in society or business is
+threatened.
+
+=Telegony.= In the search for virginity there may also be in the male
+an unconscious "intuition" of some scientific facts. The phenomenon of
+telegony, explained by Dr. Jules Goldschmidt, of Paris, in the Medical
+Review of Reviews for April 1921, would, if confirmed by careful
+observations, throw a new light on the meaning of virginity.
+
+The first male, Goldsmith states, leaves an indelible impress on the
+female he possesses. Goldsmith believes that sperm plays a twofold part
+in the female organism that receives it. It not only fecundates the egg
+but modifies the blood of the female. He cannot believe that Nature
+would waste millions of spermatozoa in order that one of them should
+reach the egg. The millions of spermatozoa which are not needed for
+purposes of fecundation are absorbed, he thinks, by the mucous tissues
+of the woman's genitals and make her gradually more and more like her
+mate. To this factor Goldschmidt attributes the likeness of mates who
+have lived together many years.
+
+"When we reflect," he writes, "on the deep impress produced by the
+action of a single spermatic cell, we at once ask what will be
+the fate of the myriads of spermatozoids entering at the moment of
+fecundation, and later on into the female organism. Again we have to
+insist on the fact that nature works with excessive profusion, and that
+to secure success its means of action are multiple. Everywhere in the
+living world male generative cells are brought forth in an overwhelming
+abundance.
+
+"Their multiplicity guarantees at least the possibility of meeting the
+rather far-off ovulum, just as out of the multitude of male bees only
+one is chosen to impregnate the queen.
+
+"But it is inconceivable that the uncounted other male cells are
+condemned to useless death without any action on the entire female
+organism, into which, by reason of their mobility they can easily
+penetrate, either into the mucous membrance of the uterus or into
+the lymphatic and blood capillaries, and thru them into the whole
+circulation.
+
+"Kohlbrugge has demonstrated that in the case of a certain bat, the
+spermatozoids do enter in great numbers into the superficial stratum
+of the mucous membrance as well as into the glands and the adjacent
+tissues. Their fate is, of course, dissolution. We know that blood is
+the receptacle of all the products that are created by healthy life or
+disease. We know of no other liquid in the whole organic world so rich
+in the most heterogeneous chemical substances as blood.
+
+"Certain important substances circulate in it, which we only assume are
+there, not having been able to isolate them, but with which we work
+when we elaborate preventive or curative serums. All the antigens,
+antitoxins, antibodies, introduced into the blood by the living action
+of pathogenic bacilli, as those of diphtheria, typhoid, tetanus, after
+the happy termination of these diseases, present themselves in such
+infinitesimal quantities that we can only designate them by their most
+remarkable biological effects. They either confer for a lifetime an
+efficient immunity against renewal or, exceptionally, an increased
+susceptibility (anaphylaxis) for the bacilli which have created them.
+
+"If nature, in its morbific attacks on the organism, uses great
+quantities, extremely small ones answer its purpose for defense. Can we
+not by analogy conclude that the dissolved spermatozoids confer on the
+blood and thru it on the whole female organism, qualities which it had
+not possessed before their invasion?
+
+"From all of these facts we may return to our problem, and infer that
+not alone the solitary male cell which fecundates the ovulum is of
+importance to the economy of the female organism, but that we must
+not disregard the extremely numerous spermatic cells accompanying
+fecundation or the further introduction of these elements.
+
+"Just as the bacillary products during and after infectious diseases
+represent substances able to confer immunity from any renewed attack
+and therefore cause an important transformation of the human system, so
+the inference must be allowed that the spermatozoids, too, do exercise
+an ultimate lasting effect on the females organism, which will acquire
+a greater sensibility for the original and an insensibility for, or
+non-susceptibility towards extraneous generative cells, even those able
+to fecundate."
+
+This exclusive adaptation of the female organism to the male one is the
+phenomenon called telegony.
+
+"A curious example of telegony offers itself when a white woman,
+who has at first lived with a negro and afterwards with a man of
+her own race, presents her second husband or lover with a more or
+less intensely colored child. Such cases have given rise to dramatic
+and even tragic scenes when the innocent woman was simply modified
+(telegonized) by her first cohabitant.
+
+"All breeders are acquainted with the fact that the bull confers
+telegony on the cow. The dark colored bull having fecundated a light
+colored cow, the latter being subsequently covered by a red bull will
+put down dark and white streaked calves.
+
+"It is quite possible that the biological reaction of the blood in
+human and animal impregnation becomes identical in the mother with that
+of the first father, and that the influence of another male does not
+change sensibly the maternal blood."
+
+If demonstrated beyond the possibility of doubt, thru careful
+observation, telegony would be a tremendous fact which would, to all
+the egotists and neurotics, enhance tremendously the value of virginity
+in the woman. What a joy it would be for the self-centered, narcistic
+neurotic to know that he can gradually make his mate like unto himself!
+
+On the other hand, it might lead to most interesting experiments in
+eugenics and animal breeding.
+
+Thru deferred impregnation, brought about by special contraceptive
+measures, a better human type and better breeds of animals might be
+evolved.
+
+It might also sound the death knell of certain contraceptive methods
+which prevent the human mates from attaining the physical and mental
+oneness which, Goldschmidt says, is the result of life-long sexual
+association.
+
+Goldschmidt's thesis is worth investigating. Thus far the unverified
+observations and the sayings of more or less scientific breeders do not
+allow us to draw positive deductions.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XIV.
+
+                     MODESTY, NORMAL AND ABNORMAL
+
+
+Modesty is not easy to define, for it varies with races, epochs and
+climes. As I said in the preceding chapter, in some parts of Japan
+and in one Arab tribe, it is almost shameful for a young woman to be
+married without having had sexual experience. A woman of the Western
+races on the other hand, regardless of her age and past, must in order
+to show a ladylike breeding, pretend a certain ignorance of things
+sexual when in the company of men, even in the company of her fifth or
+sixth husband.
+
+=In Turkey=, a woman may show her eyes but must veil her mouth; in the
+Southern Sahara, men of the Tuareg tribes go about veiled like Turkish
+ladies. Certain African tribes cover their backs carefully while
+exposing the rest of their bodies. In other tribes, men, instead of
+concealing their genitals, wear sheaths which exaggerate the size of
+their organs. In most parts of the earth, women keep the fact of their
+menstruation a secret. In others, they wear a cloth of a special color
+proclaiming that condition when present.
+
+=On the Modern Stage=, modesty seems satisfied if the nipples and the
+genitals are duly covered. In some parts of Europe entirely naked
+dancers have been seen in public. Until recently, an unwritten law made
+it more or less necessary for the male performers to wear more clothing
+than female ones did. The wave of homosexualism which has followed
+the war is probably responsible for the growing numbers of naked male
+actors and dancers who disport themselves nowadays on the French stage
+and elsewhere.
+
+There is a normal form of modesty, however, and there are many abnormal
+aspects of that elusive feeling.
+
+Many animals seek safety and seclusion when performing certain
+important functions of their life, nutrition, reproduction and
+defecation, which naturally place them at a disadvantage in emergencies
+requiring flight or fight. Even the boldest among the carnivorous
+animals, lions and tigers, drag their prey to a cave or into the depths
+of the bush before devouring it.
+
+Naked and otherwise shameless and "indelicate" savages will often walk
+a considerable distance from their village to satisfy their natural
+needs, and then hide behind bushes or trees.
+
+Many birds and animals pair off and isolate themselves at mating time.
+
+Races and nations differ greatly in their degree of modesty in relation
+to nutrition, reproduction and defecation. European races dine in
+the open, are more or less "shameless" in their love making, they
+talk freely on sexual topics and erect urinals and comfort stations,
+designated by their exact name, in many public places. Anglo-Saxons
+hide themselves while eating, are very silent about the processes of
+reproduction, seldom indulge in public kissing and designate urinals
+and toilets, which are very scarce in their lands, by cover names such
+as lavatories, smoking rooms, etc.
+
+=Normal Modesty= may then be a survival of the fear which the
+primitive men and women experienced of being surprised and overpowered
+by hostile animals or tribesmen during an embrace or when unprotected
+by garments or armor.
+
+In fact, modesty seems to disappear as soon as safety reigns or when no
+hostile element may be suspected of lurking in the environment.
+
+A woman strips without shame to undergo a medical examination, men and
+women appear naked in public baths where only one sex is admitted at a
+time, etc.
+
+Then also normal modesty must be considered as an offgrowth of the
+unavoidable repressions of modern, civilised life. Like the incest
+taboo, it has been cultivated for reasons of convenience.
+
+Modern community life having placed a thousand restrictions upon the
+age at which we can marry and the conditions under which we should
+marry, in other words, having delayed considerably our normal sexual
+gratification, an effort has been made to "repress" erotism by
+concealing "suggestive" parts of the human body.
+
+This is, of course, an abortive attempt, for habit is a more potent
+protector against temptation than veils. The races which live
+practically naked are not more erotic than the fully clothed, civilised
+races or the Arabs who not only cover their entire body and heads but
+conceal even the shape of their bodies in the loose folds of their
+ample garments. A husband, no longer erotically aroused by his wife's
+naked body, may be attracted violently by the partly draped body of
+another woman.
+
+=Suggestive Draperies.= One of the results of the policy of
+body-concealment has been to transform certain draperies into sexual
+symbols of great aphrodisiac power. Certain garments lend to the human
+body an appeal which it might not have if fully exposed. In other
+words, the obstacles which are meant to hold back erotism may be used
+neurotically as a morbid expression of erotism.
+
+At the present day, however, that form of protection against temptation
+serves its purpose to some extent and cannot be discarded until mankind
+has been reeducated. Custom and the law uphold official modesty. The
+mere fact, however, that modesty has to be enforced legally is one of
+the best arguments against the sentimental, unscientific view that
+modesty is an "innate," "natural" feeling of "delicacy" based upon some
+"higher," "spiritual" values, etc.
+
+Modern, official modesty is merely a compromise with sexual reality.
+It has been, like all inhibitory feelings, greatly overestimated and
+forced upon the weaker sex by egotistical men to prevent a display of
+their female's charms, likely to attract other women-hunters. Weak
+males with a sense of inferiority have called modesty the typically
+feminine virtue.
+
+=Excessive Modesty=, in men as well as in women, is an abnormal
+phenomenon, a mask for unconscious lewdness and obscenity. It is a
+neurotic means of protection against uncontrollable desires, or at
+times an expression of one's "sour grapes" attitude to others.
+
+It is always the shapeless and unattractive woman who is the most
+vociferous champion of highneck gowns and long skirts. A sense of
+bodily inferiority obsesses the woman who does not allow any caresses
+unless the room is darkened. Her modesty yields rapidly, however, to
+the praise of her attractions which she hears from the mouth of her
+lover.
+
+=Immodest Modesty.= A woman took her daughter to a specialist's
+office for an examination. The girl, asked to strip, complied at once
+with the doctor's request and stood naked before him without any
+display of shame.
+
+When they left, the mother made the very unwise remark that her
+daughter must have lacked modesty entirely to have stood the ordeal
+without any embarrassment. In this case, it was the mother who lacked
+"true modesty" and the daughter whose mind was "pure." The girl knew
+she was in the presence of a physician, but to the more highly sexed
+mother, the physician was above everything a "man."
+
+This sort of prurient modesty which, very often, exerts a baneful
+influence on the love-life of the individual, is usually due to
+repressed childhood memories and complexes.
+
+=Fear of Love.= Stekel, of Vienna, cites the case of a girl who evinced
+on every occasion a morbid fear of everything connected with love. She
+avoided men, she protected herself zealously against every "suggestive"
+influence, she decried love and marriage and was constantly trying to
+"spiritualise" the things of the flesh which she considered "bestial."
+
+Analysis showed that until the age of thirteen she had been perfectly
+normal in her behavior, considering love and marriage as natural human
+goals.
+
+One day, however, she chanced upon a collection of pornographic
+photographs belonging to her father. Instead of "corrupting" her mind,
+the incident disgusted her and caused her to renounce all the things of
+the flesh and to become unusually, negatively modest.
+
+A patient of mine declared on the occasion of her first call at my
+office that all men were "beasts." Whenever she associated with a
+man, at dinner, theater or dancing parties, she suffered from choking
+sensations, nausea, etc. Analysis revealed that at the age of six she
+had been subjected to an attempt at seduction.
+
+Another woman patient who went thru a mental crisis in the course of
+which she gave up all worldly pleasures and decided never to marry,
+merging into hysterical states very soon afterward, had bow legs and
+a tendency to skin eruptions which had, on many occasions, proved
+humiliating to her egotism. Her decision never to marry meant: "I shall
+not risk showing my deformed legs and my skin blemishes to a man."
+Also, at the age of ten, she had witnessed a scene of brutality in
+which a man had dragged his wife on the street by her hair.
+
+She was morbidly modest and wept bitterly once when a man whom she knew
+only slightly, pressed a kiss upon her lips. Withal her dreams revealed
+a violently erotic temperament.
+
+Like all exaggerated feelings morbid modesty is the mask for the
+opposite feelings, passionate sexual cravings. The woman who allows
+every one to kiss her is aroused but little by such caresses. The woman
+who never kisses any one and pretends she does not like being kissed,
+is usually the one who knows that a kiss might cause her to lose her
+self-control and to abandon all modesty.
+
+The puritanical male, paragon of modesty among his sex, is either an
+inflammable type who is afraid of his own sensuality or an impotent
+individual who protects himself against being put to any sexual test.
+
+That exaggerated modesty is only one of the components of the neurotic
+temperament has been well demonstrated by Adler: "The morbid modesty
+of neurotics," he writes, "who cannot visit a public toilet, who are
+unable to urinate in the presence of others, who avoid the society of
+women on account of blushing or anxiety or heart palpitations, reveals
+to us the strained manly ambition which supports itself against the
+original feeling of inferiority.
+
+"=The Masculine Protest= (craving for virility) of those patients,
+insecure to the core, forces them into this arrangement whose
+boundaries encroach upon those of bashfulness and awkwardness. Often,
+in neurotics of either sex, one observes an inability to go to a toilet
+in cases of great necessity if some one is looking at them. The greater
+modesty of women, especially of neurotic women, in all relations of
+life, originates from the fear which is implanted in them from the
+earliest childhood that attention might be directed to their sex.
+
+"I have often convinced myself that the behavior of girls and of women
+is considerably influenced by this more or less unconscious factor,
+indeed that the progress of their sexual development, like that of male
+patients who feel unmanly, the formation of social and professional
+relations and love relations, are immediately checked as soon as the
+patient is allowed to play a real 'feminine' or subordinate part or
+presupposes this expectation from others.
+
+"This fact is in no way affected when repressed sexual stimuli come
+to light as the present source of the checks of aggression. They are
+similarly arranged and have the purpose of enhancing the fear of the
+partner and of permitting the retreat decided upon in the plan of
+life, to be entered upon with certainty; they are therefore acts of
+foresight. The neurotic had already in childhood laid the foundation
+of this foresight and in it is reflected the feeling of shame as the
+guiding line of reassuring modesty and the prudery of civilisation.
+
+"The previous history of the patient reveals an exaggerated modesty
+and this is true at times of those who in other respects show a boyish
+nature; the anxiety of nervous children on being exposed may be
+observed in their conduct. They exclude every one from the room and
+lock the door when they are going to undress. This conduct is also
+observable in boys who have grown up among girls. In the prognosis
+of neurosis, this expedient of cowardice is a bad symptom. It is the
+equivalent of later castration thoughts and neurotic wishes, the wish
+to be a woman, for instance, which expresses itself as soon as the fear
+of the life mate becomes actual or a decision has to be avoided."
+
+=Lack of Modesty=, when it assumes a morbid form, has, according
+to Adler, the same meaning as prurient modesty.
+
+"The very shameless, obscene talker," Adler writes, "is trying to
+demonstrate to his listeners the fact of his great manliness of
+which he is not very sure himself, the very immodest woman merely
+demonstrates her inability to adapt herself to her feminine role.... In
+the analysis of such women, at times only in their dreams, is observed
+the childish expectation of a metamorphosis into a male, an attempted
+substitute for the will-to-power, the will-to-be-above."
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XV
+
+                               JEALOUSY
+
+
+Jealousy has been subjected to the distortion which every sexual
+manifestation suffers under the influence of our modern puritanical
+civilisation. It has to be concealed and lied about and derives from
+that fact an immense obsessional power. It becomes a mask for other
+feelings and, in its turn, may masquerade in the guise of other
+feelings.
+
+Both its presence and its absence may denote normality or abnormality.
+Intense jealousy may be the projection of our feelings into another
+individual and be a symptom of paranoia. On the other hand, the entire
+lack of jealousy of a husband who enjoys the sight of his wife caressed
+by another man, certainly reveals a most morbid masochism.
+
+Hunger, thirst, erotism always find their satisfaction at some time.
+Intense pain deadens itself thru its very intensity. Jealousy on the
+contrary feeds on itself. It can be aroused by the unseen as well as by
+the obvious. In fact, like many neurotic elements, it thrives best on
+the invisible and the unreal.
+
+Jealousy based upon unseen things, hunches, intuition, borders
+dangerously on hallucinatory states. The absolute blindness of some
+husbands, on the other hand, reveals a form of egotistical cocksureness
+closely allied to delusions of greatness.
+
+=Rules for Husbands.= Forel, in some ways very old fashioned and
+unimaginative, has summarised as follows the proper rules of conduct
+for "reasonable husbands" suffering from jealousy.
+
+"An intelligent husband," he writes, "should quietly find out thru the
+usual agencies whether his suspicions are justified or not. For what
+is the use of being jealous? If his suspicions are unfounded, he can
+only annoy his wife and make her unhappy thru his jealous behavior. If
+he was right in suspecting her, there is only one of two things to be
+done: either an otherwise excellent wife has yielded to the attraction
+of another man and may feel perfectly miserable over it. She should be
+forgiven and led back into the right path. Or a wife has no affection
+left for her husband or she is an unworthy, characterless deceiver, and
+in such cases, what is needed is not jealousy but a divorce."
+
+Instead of "reasonable" husbands, Forel should have written, husbands
+"free from complexes," for jealousy is little besides a neurotic mask
+for an unrecognized feeling of inferiority.
+
+There are thousands of husbands who would not dare to find out whether
+their wives are untrue or not. Some may be so enslaved to their wives'
+bodies that they cannot contemplate the possibility of losing them.
+
+Public opinion, if a scandal should break out, would compel them to
+seek a divorce and therefore they prefer to remain in ignorance of the
+real state of affairs and of their "defeat."
+
+Others are so egotistical that they refuse to suspect their wives of
+infidelity and are honestly trying to protect their wife's reputation
+when they make a jealous scene. This is frequently observed among the
+"after-me-who-has-a-chance?" type of husband.
+
+Other egotists fear the ridicule that might follow upon exposure and
+which might destroy some of their self confidence. They would be too
+weak to bear up well under their friends' open or concealed sarcasm.
+
+The jealous scenes they make to their suspected wives are in the nature
+of a punishment which they inflict on the faithless one.
+
+Other husbands, entangled in extramatrimonial affairs, are in no way
+desirous to create a scandal but work themselves into jealous moods to
+keep up a pretence of interest in their wives.
+
+Others, very old fashioned, believe in a double standard and, while
+condoning their own weaknesses, condemn every appearance of evil in
+"their" wives.
+
+=Very Few Men or Women Admit Their Jealousy.= Most of them cover it
+with ethical veils of the most transparent type: "You neglect your
+household," "you are a poor mother (or father) to your children," "you
+are making yourself (or me) ridiculous," etc.
+
+Some husbands deny they are jealous but declaim against low neck gowns,
+flesh-colored stockings, face powder, rouge, lip sticks to which they
+object on "moral grounds."
+
+The last two groups derive a great comfort from their assumed ethical
+and moral superiority which they use as a justification for their
+endless nagging.
+
+Some jealous husbands force motherhood upon their wives year after year
+as a protection against unfaithfulness. A woman disabled by pregnancy
+and lactation is, of necessity, more faithful. Attempts at freedom on
+the part of a woman burdened with a numerous progeny can easily be
+repressed by admonitions such as "Remember the children," etc.
+
+=Jealousy and Impotence.= Jealousy in a man is often caused
+by the fact that he has become impotent. Unable to gratify his
+wife physically, he imagines that she seeks consolation elsewhere
+and in that way he "gets even" with her: "I am impotent but she is
+promiscuous," so runs the neurotic's logic.
+
+Not infrequently a woman who has been brought up to consider physical
+relations as slightly shameful and something which a well brought up
+female submits to, but never "enjoys," may, if she is very erotic,
+develop terrible fits of jealousy.
+
+Frink, mentioning one of those rather frequent cases, dissects the
+psychology of that type of jealous women as follows: "If her husband's
+caresses leave her unsatisfied, she is caught between the two horns of
+a dilemma. If she grants that this is enough to satisfy her husband's
+'animal instincts' she must then admit that she is more erotic than he
+is, hence, more 'animal' than he. And such an admission is impossible
+to a woman of puritanical upbringing. Hence 'logically' she concludes
+that he must be untrue to her."
+
+Frink adds: "Undue jealousy in a man usually means that he has, or
+thinks he has, some deficiency of sexual power. It means in a woman,
+not, as many seem to think, that she is unusually in love with her
+husband, but rather, that she is not perfectly satisfied with him,
+and often that she thinks that if he really knew her, he would not be
+satisfied with her. In most patients suffering from morbid jealousy
+there is an overaccentuation of the homosexual component of the libido."
+
+Very often some unattractive individual feels jealous because he or she
+has ceased to attract sexually his or her life mate.
+
+A neurotic, whose face had been made hideous by a discoloration due to
+illness, was sure his wife must have a lover, because she no longer
+seemed to feel erotic in his company. His way of reasoning was as
+follows: "I cannot disgust her, hence some one else must attract her."
+
+=Childish Behavior.= Some neurotics with a strong father or mother
+fixation become jealous of an otherwise perfectly faithful and devoted
+mate because they fail to receive from their husband or wife, the sort
+of attention and uncritical devotion they would expect from a parent.
+Those people are still children who never admit the possibility of
+adult equality between them and their mate. The mate must be the strong
+father or the self-sacrificing mother. They themselves remain babies,
+constantly to be petted, admired and consoled. If their husband or wife
+fails to shower on them the thousand little attentions which a nursling
+requires, they fly into a petty and unjustified rage, suspecting that
+some one else has robbed them of their privileges.
+
+The Don Juan and the Messalina are quite as jealous as faithful mates.
+Men leading a double life may watch wife and mistress with equal
+suspicion. This is probably due to the fact that they feel unable to
+satisfy both women sexually. Orientals with a harem are said to be
+infinitely more tigerish in their jealousy than Western men of the most
+monogamous type. I have known several married women who, altho they had
+deceived their husbands on several occasions, were terribly upset when
+their husbands showed too much interest in some other woman.
+
+=The Ego Rampant.= The proprietor of a hotel in a Western town,
+who lived a few blocks from his inn, was annoyed when his wife refused
+more and more frequently to come and keep him company at the hotel in
+the evenings.
+
+When a young lawyer took up his residence at the hotel, however, she
+never failed to put in an appearance, regardless of the weather or of
+her health, which she had used so often as excuses for staying at home.
+
+Later on, detectives supplied him with enough grounds to secure a
+divorce. Curiously enough, what brought forth the greatest display of
+anger on his part when he recalled the incident, was not the thought of
+the caresses which his wife and the other man may have exchanged. His
+humiliation was indescribable when he realised that the other man had
+wielded more influence upon his wife than he had himself. "One night,"
+he said to me, "when she came down thru a heavy snowstorm, just to see
+him, I could have killed her."
+
+=Sexless Jealousy.= All the foregoing tends to show that jealousy
+has very little to do with sex. Many domestic animals evince violent
+jealousy when their masters show attentions to strange animals. A feud
+may be precipitated among the household pets when the dog beholds his
+mistress petting the cat and conversely. Fox terriers often attempt to
+bite people who shake hands with their master or, in friendly ways, lay
+hands on him.
+
+Likewise, it was jealousy which drove Cain to slay Abel and which
+caused Joseph to suffer many indignities at the hands of his brothers.
+
+A Freudian might say that Cain and Joseph's brothers were seeking
+the father's (God's) homosexual love and begrudged whatever of it was
+lavished on their victims. Adler would more plausibly suggest that
+the prestige and power wielded by Joseph and Abel were too much of an
+irritant for their inferior and greedy brothers.
+
+In other spheres than the sexual sphere, we notice that success
+won by undisputed superiors or absolute inferiors does not arouse
+our jealousy. A young pianist does not resent honors bestowed upon
+Paderewksy, nor does Paderewsky begrudge the stripling his early
+success. Jealousy, on the other hand, rages among great artists of
+about the same rank. In the first case, superiority or inferiority is
+taken for granted. In the case of equals competing for the same laurels
+inferiority is "feared."
+
+=Husbands and Lovers.= Many men feel no jealousy over the caresses
+their mistress may receive from her husband. The husband has been
+defeated by the lover, hence is "absolutely" inferior.
+
+The same, it goes without saying, applies to women in love with a
+married man. Many men, in fact, prefer to have extramatrimonial affairs
+with married women and many women with married men. They no longer fear
+the husband or wife whom they have defeated in the struggle for his or
+her mate's favor. They consider him or her as a watchful guardian of
+their mistress's or their lover's sexual life, less formidable than an
+unknown man or woman might be, who had not been defeated yet.
+
+The suttee custom in India, the various wills left by Western men or
+women, providing that the surviving spouse shall be disinherited if he
+or she marries again, shows that jealousy has little to do with love,
+sexual or affectionate. That posthumous jealousy is a distinct attempt
+at controlling one's "property" after one's death, whether the property
+be a woman or a certain sum of money.
+
+=Cruelty.= Adler has pointed out the cruel character of jealousy
+and the constant attempts made by jealous neurotics to disparage and
+belittle their love object.
+
+"The neurotic suffering from jealousy is insatiable in his search for
+ways to test his mate. This indicates his lack of self confidence,
+his lack of self esteem and his uncertainty. His jealous efforts are
+calculated to bring him more into notice, to attract more attention to
+himself and thus to increase his self-esteem. He revives upon every
+possible occasion the old feeling of being neglected and disregarded,
+and assumes anew the childish attitude of wishing to have everything,
+to obtain a proof of superiority upon his mate.
+
+"A glance, a word spoken in company, an acknowledgment of a favor, a
+show of interest for a painting, for an author, for a relative, even a
+protective attitude toward servants, may be taken as the cause of the
+operation. In certain cases the impression is distinctly given that the
+jealous individual cannot rest because he has no confidence in peaceful
+happiness or account of his misfortune. Then a neurosis develops in
+which an effort is made to subdue the life mate by a system of attacks,
+to arouse his or her sympathy; or perhaps the attack is intended as a
+punishment. Headaches, weeping fits, weakness, paralysis,[1] attacks
+of anxiety and depression, silence, etc., have the same value as
+alcoholism, perversion or lewdness. The line of distrust and doubt,
+often about the legitimacy of the children, becomes more pronounced,
+outbreaks of wrath and scolding, mistrust of the entire opposite sex,
+are regular phenomena and reveal the other side of jealousy as a
+preparation for the disparagement of the life mate.
+
+"Often pride prevents consciousness of jealousy but the behavior is
+the same. This situation is at times made worse by the fact that
+the suspected mate beholds the helplessness of the jealous one with
+unconscious satisfaction and fails to find the words or the tone that
+would hold jealousy within bounds."
+
+=Making People Jealous.= This is why the efforts made by certain
+men and women to arouse their sexual partner's jealousy are productive
+of rather baneful results. They do not bring out the love or affection
+of the person who is made jealous but his worst egotistical and
+sadistic traits.
+
+One of the strongest factors in love being the egotistical satisfaction
+we derive from the possession of the love object and the realisation
+of our influence over it, our love wanes rapidly when we see another
+person wielding much power over it.
+
+The stratagem has temporary effects which may deceive the person using
+them. The jealous lover, at first makes decided efforts to regain his
+position, but he soon feels swayed by egotistical considerations which
+lead him toward the line of least effort. Slighted by one woman, he
+turns to another for consolation, and usually finds it.
+
+The man or woman who considers it shrewd to let his mate suspect
+that "there are others," for one thing encourages faithlessness by
+creating a precedent. It is especially when the other (or others)
+are distinctly inferior in appearance or position that this sort of
+game ends disastrously. The woman who likes to mention the attentions
+bestowed upon her by some inferior man and seems to enjoy them
+accomplishes two things. She makes herself appear inferior and "easy"
+and makes her lover feel that any inferior man could compete with him
+for her love and that, hence, he himself must be inferior.
+
+He may run away from her to escape that feeling of inferiority.
+
+If he does not leave her, he no longer feels compelled to make any
+effort to please her, since worthless homage seems so valuable to her.
+
+=Jealousy is the Hell of Love= and no one should dare to open its
+gates lightheartedly.
+
+One should be the more careful in arousing jealousy as the "green eyed
+goddess" now and then is responsible for some killing. The sexually
+jealous husband may kill his wife's lover, the egotistically jealous
+husband may kill the unfaithful wife. The former removes temptation
+from her path, the latter avenges his wounded egotism.
+
+It is not always the sort of love that flares up frequently in jealous
+outburst, sexual or egotistical, which is the deepest. I know of a
+case in which a husband repressed entirely his anger and desire for
+vengeance when his wife left him to live with another man. A clever
+psychologist, he realized that lack of opposition to her plans would
+kill the romance of his wife's rash step. He also knew that any
+violence to which he might submit her lover would crown him with the
+halo of martyrdom. He wrote to her: "I shall not interfere with your
+adventure, for uninterrupted intimacy will soon cause you to tire of
+each other. Nor will I shoot him for I would thereby transform him in
+your mind into a hero." Eventually, the "erring" wife returned to her
+home.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XVI
+
+                            INSANE JEALOUSY
+
+
+One form of jealousy which has absolutely nothing to do with love in
+the normal sense of the word, and one which not infrequently leads to
+acts of violence, to the "love tragedies" of newspaper headlines, is
+simply one of the first symptoms of paranoia.
+
+=In Delusional Jealousy=, the patient suffering repressed homosexual
+cravings, projects his own desires into the personality of his life
+mate. An unconsciously homosexual husband, attracted sexually by every
+man in his environment, assumes that his wife is also subject to the
+same attraction and suspects her of having sexual relations with every
+man who arouses him. An unconsciously homosexual wife imagines that
+her husband has a liaison with every woman who appeals to her perverse
+fancies.
+
+The paranoiac being at times very clever and convincing, that form
+of jealousy, insane as it may appear to the man or the woman who is
+the victim of it, may deceive the outsiders. In certain cases, the
+delusional character of it is obvious to everybody, including the
+jealous person.
+
+A paranoiac told me that every night he "saw" a man entering his wife's
+bedroom thru a window protected by solid iron bars so close to one
+another that a cat could have squeezed thru them only with difficulty.
+
+This was, of course, a case of hallucination, pure and simple.
+
+=Homosexualism.= Other cases are more complicated. Dr. S.
+Ferenczi, of Budapest, reports two of them which illustrate well the
+mechanism of insane jealousy due to unconscious homosexualism.
+
+He had a housekeeper whose husband, a man of thirty-eight, also busied
+himself about the house in his spare time. He was constantly cleaning
+Ferenczi's rooms, putting fresh polish on the doors and floors,
+pottering around, evidently anxious to show his good will and his
+devotion to his wife's employer.
+
+This man was very intemperate and beat his wife on several occasions.
+Altho she was most unattractive, he constantly accused her of
+infidelity with Ferenczi and every male patient treated by him.
+
+When the woman revealed those facts to Ferenczi, he gave the couple
+notice but decided to have a serious talk with her husband.
+
+The man denied having beaten his wife, altho this had been confirmed by
+witnesses. He maintained that his wife was a real vampire, whose lust
+was sapping his life strength. During this explanation, he impulsively
+took Ferenczi's hand and kissed it, saying that he had never met anyone
+dearer or kinder than the doctor.
+
+A talk with the woman revealed to Ferenczi that the man had always been
+very distant in his attitude to his wife. He would often push her away
+brutally, calling her all sorts of opprobrious names.
+
+When he learnt that Ferenczi had given her notice, the insane man
+abused and hit his wife, and threatened to throw her out on the street
+and to stab "her darling." Ferenczi at first paid no attention to those
+threats for the man remained very devoted, respectful and well behaved.
+When he learnt, however, that the man was sleeping with a sharp kitchen
+knife under his pillow and when he woke up one night to find him
+standing in his bedroom, he notified the authorities and the maniac was
+committed to an insane asylum.
+
+"There is no doubt," Ferenczi writes, "that this was a case of
+alcoholic delusion of jealousy. The conspicuous feature of his
+homosexual attachment to me, however, allows the interpretation that
+the jealousy he felt of every man, was only the projection of his own
+desires for the male sex. Also, his lack of desire for his wife was not
+simply impotence but was determined by his unconscious homosexuality.
+
+"To him alcohol played the part of an inhibition-poison and brought to
+the surface his crude homosexual erotism, which, as it was intolerable
+to his consciousness, he imputed to his wife.
+
+"It was only subsequently that I found a complete confirmation of this.
+He had been married before, years ago. He lived only a short time in
+peace with his first wife, began to drink soon after the wedding and
+abused his wife, tormenting her with scenes of jealousy until she left
+him and secured a divorce.
+
+"In the interval between his two marriages, he was said to have been
+a temperate, reliable and steady man and to have taken to drink only
+after his second marriage. Alcoholism was not the deeper cause of his
+paranoia; it was rather that, in the insoluble conflict between his
+conscious heterosexual and his unconscious homosexual desires, he took
+to alcohol, which brought the homosexual erotism to the surface, his
+consciousness getting rid of it by way of projection, of delusions of
+jealousy. He saddled his wife with his desires and by jealous scenes
+assured himself that he was in love with her."
+
+=A Jealous Wife.= The other case is that of a woman, still young, who
+after living in harmony with her husband for a number of years and
+bearing him daughters, began to suffer from violent fits of jealousy
+soon after the birth of another child, a boy. Alcoholism played no part
+in this case.
+
+She suspected every move her husband made. She dismissed maid after
+maid and finally had only male servants in the house. Curiously enough,
+her jealousy was directed against very young and very old, even very
+ugly women, while she was not jealous of her society friends or of the
+pretty women whom she and her husband occasionally met. Her conduct
+at home became so unbearable and her threats so dangerous that she
+was taken to a sanatorium upon Freud's advice. After which Ferenczi
+proceeded to analyse her.
+
+She harbored many delusions of greatness and ideas of reference. She
+thought she found in the local paper veiled allusions to her depravity
+and to her ridiculous position as a betrayed wife. The highest
+personalities in the land were banded against her, etc.
+
+She had married her husband against her wishes and when she bore the
+first daughter and he manifested his disappointment, she began to feel
+that she had indeed married the wrong man. She then made the first
+scene of jealousy in connection with a little girl of thirteen who came
+to help the servant girls. While still in bed after her confinement,
+she made the little girl kneel and swear by her father's life that she
+was still pure. This oath calmed her at the time.
+
+After the birth of her son, she felt she had fulfilled her duty to her
+husband and was free. She flirted with every man but would not tolerate
+the slightest liberty from them. At the same time, she made her husband
+violent scenes of jealousy and tried to incapacitate him, thru her
+constant passionate advances, for relations with any other women. When
+taken to a sanatorium, she gave evidence, thru her behavior toward the
+other women inmates of strong homosexual leanings. She confessed to
+Ferenczi that there had been homosexual experiences in her childhood.
+She then became more and more unmanageable and the analysis had to be
+abandoned.
+
+=A Case of Projection.= This is Ferenczi's comment upon this example
+of insane jealousy: "This case of delusional jealousy becomes clear
+when we assume that it was a question of projection upon the husband of
+her desire for her own sex. A girl who had grown up in an exclusively
+feminine environment is suddenly forced into a marriage of convenience
+with a man she dislikes. She reconciles herself to it, however,
+and only shows indignation when her husband proves cruelly unkind
+(disappointment over the birth of a girl) by letting her desire turn
+toward her childhood ideal, the little girl of thirteen. The attempt
+fails, she cannot endure homosexuality any longer and has to project it
+upon her husband.
+
+"Finally after the birth of her son, when her 'duty' is done, the
+homosexuality she had kept in bounds takes possession in a crude erotic
+way of all the objects that offer no possibility for sublimation (young
+girls, old women etc.), although all this erotism, (with the exception
+of cases when she can hide it under the mask of harmless flirtation),
+is imputed to the husband. In order to support herself in that lie, the
+patient is compelled to show increased coquetry toward the male sex,
+to whom she had become very indifferent and, indeed, to demean herself
+like a nymphomaniac."
+
+I have cited both cases at length for they confirm the statement I have
+made elsewhere in this book that very exaggerated feeling is usually
+a mask for the opposite feeling. Ferenczi's two patients, in love
+with persons of their own sex, "simulated" neurotically a passionate
+attachment for their heterosexual mates, who, naturally could not
+attract them.
+
+=Masked Sadism.= Their stormy jealousy was more akin to hatred than
+to love. There was no tenderness in it but a good deal of sadism, of
+cruelty, and they used it in order to torture their mates on whom, in
+the course of their jealous scenes, they could heap up abuse, which
+they would not, under any other circumstances, dare to voice as freely.
+
+Many a husband would like to insult a wife he detests. Neurotic
+jealousy supplies him with an excuse which he might not find elsewhere.
+
+After which, if the vocabulary he used on that occasion is especially
+vile, he has a good scapegoat at his disposal. "I was crazed by
+jealousy and did not realise what I was saying."
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XVII
+
+                      HOMOSEXUALISM; ITS GENESIS
+
+
+Love's normal goal is the union of the male and the female in a way
+which may insure the reproduction of the species. At times, however, we
+behold love deviating from the path that leads to that goal: a man may
+love another man as passionately as he would love a woman, a woman may
+be consumed with desire for another woman.
+
+Certain parts of the ancient world looked with indifference upon
+such deviations from the normal. The poems of Sappho, the dialogues
+of Plato, to only mention the best known sources of information on
+the subject, prove that in classic Greece homosexual unions were
+countenanced by public opinion. In the "Banquet" young Alkibiades
+describes, with a frankness reminiscent of eighteenth century novels,
+his attempts at "seducing" Socrates. In the holy island of Thera an
+inscription commemorates the "wedding" of two young men, Erastos and
+Klainos, which was celebrated with all sorts of ceremonies.
+
+A distinction was even drawn in those days between homosexual love
+which was purely sexual and the kind of love which was both sexual and
+intellectual.
+
+=Groups of Male Lovers=, Harmodios and Aristogeiton, Kratinos and
+Aristodemos, etc., became famous and legendary owing to their unusual
+faithfulness and constancy. Pederasty was countenanced by the very
+behavior of the Greek gods, of Zeus in particular.
+
+The various philosophers granted women the right to indulge in
+homosexual love if they wished, but, nevertheless, Lesbian love, as it
+was called after Sappho of Lesbos, was rather considered as a freak
+of nature, if not a vice. The low social condition of Hellenic women
+accounts for that illogical difference in treatment.
+
+=Women Were Harem Slaves= with little opportunity for intellectual
+development and their homosexualism could not drape itself in the
+mantle of intellectual pretence which it wore in the gymnasiums and
+schools frequented by men.
+
+Greek mythology offers no example of love between goddesses.
+
+Sappho and the Lesbian poetesses gave female passion an eminent place
+in Greek literature but the Aeolian women did not found a tradition
+corresponding to that of the Dorian men.
+
+We even find in Lucian's works a passage indicating that some of the
+Greeks felt at the thought of female homosexualism the repugnance which
+we feel at the thought of male homosexualism.
+
+=The Tide Turns.= About the third century and until the
+eighteenth, the tide turned, at least in the Western world, and
+homosexualism found itself confronted by a barrier of penalties
+which in certain lands included capital punishment. After the French
+revolution such extreme penalties were abandoned in several European
+countries.
+
+At present, death is no longer the wages of the homosexual sin, but
+jail sentences and ostracism of the most severe sort punish the
+sinner when detected. Legally, then, homosexualism is considered as
+a voluntary "perversion," to be punished, not as an abnormality, to
+be treated or accepted. This position is absolutely ridiculous and
+goes counter to every possible scientific view of homosexualism, its
+nature and its genesis. Whether psychiatrists consider sexualism from
+a "purely physical" point of view or from a "purely psychic" point
+of view, they all consider it, not as a matter of free choice, but as
+a compulsion, an organic compulsion according to the first view, an
+unconscious mental compulsion according to the latter.
+
+Opprobrium and punishment constitute no solution for any compulsion, be
+it physical or mental.
+
+=Many Theories= have been advanced as to the genesis of homosexualism
+and most of them are very unsatisfactory because every one of them
+generally excludes the others and because they attempt one thing which
+cannot be done: to found homosexualism either on a purely physical or
+on a purely mental basis. We can never understand homosexualism until
+we consider it from an organic point of view, according to which mental
+states are neither the cause nor the result of physical states, or vice
+versa, but mental and physical states are two aspects of the organism,
+of the personality.
+
+The first hypothesis I intend to review is that of the Berlin
+sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld which has had more influence on modern
+thought than any other theory of homosexualism and which unfortunately
+has been accepted as gospel truth by many homosexuals.
+
+=The Third Sex.= Hirschfeld reminds us in his book "Intermediate
+Sexual Stages" that during the first eight weeks of its existence, the
+fetus is neither male nor female. It is only about the eighth week that
+a differentiation takes place and that the sex of the unborn can be
+determined.
+
+A thousand physical influences may be at work in fetal life which
+may cause underdevelopment of the male fetus' organs, which then may
+resemble a female's in many particulars, or the overdevelopment of a
+female's clitoris which may make it slightly similar to a man's penis.
+Thousands of variations can be observed which, in certain cases, have
+caused the attending physician to declare the child's sex as "doubtful."
+
+According to the degree of development of their sexual organs,
+Hirschfeld suggests a classification of the intermediates into
+hermaphrodites, androgynes, transvestites, homosexuals and metatropists.
+
+I shall not touch upon the first two classes, hermaphrodites and
+androgynes, which are obvious, gross, physical malformations of a
+congenital character.
+
+Transvestism, homosexualism and metatropism, however, deserve careful
+consideration.
+
+=The Transvestites= are men who experience a craving to go about
+dressed as women, women who are anxious to dress themselves as men.
+
+Hirschfeld considers them as closely related to the male androgynes who
+crave to have breasts like women and are ashamed of facial or bodily
+hair, and to the female androgynes who are ashamed of their breasts and
+wish to have a beard and body hair.
+
+Transvestites generally explain that they do not feel free except in
+the garb of the opposite sex. "In men's clothes," a male transvestite
+said, "I have the feeling of wearing a uniform." "In feminine clothes,"
+a female transvestite said, "I feel inhibited and hampered. It is only
+when wearing masculine garments that I feel energetic and efficient."
+
+The late Dr. Mary Walker, the French painter Rosa Bonheur, the French
+explorer Madame Dieulafoy, were characteristic examples of energetic
+women who felt compelled to abandon the garb of their sex and to dress
+themselves as men.
+
+=Are Transvestities Homosexual?= Dr. Wilhelm Stekel of Vienna objects
+to drawing a line between transvestites and homosexuals. But we must
+make a distinction. Hirschfeld is right in stating that there are no
+more homosexuals among transvestites than among normal individuals. He
+means, of course, _conscious_ homosexuals practicing their abnormal
+form of love. We know however, that there are thousands of men and
+women who, while _consciously_ experiencing the greatest disgust at
+the thought of homosexual practices are _unconscious_ homosexuals.
+Their dreams leave no doubt as to the nature of their cravings. We
+may reconcile the Stekel view with the Hirschfeld view by saying that
+transvestites are in the majority of cases unconscious homosexuals.
+They may _consciously_ lead a most normal life: Madame Dieulafoy was
+married and apparently very devoted to her husband whom she followed on
+all his voyages of exploration.
+
+_Unconsciously_, however, and for reasons which we shall examine later,
+transvestites crave a change of sex.
+
+=Metatropism= is masculine behavior in women, feminine behavior in
+men. Normal man is physiologically aggressive in love, normal woman is
+submissive. In cases of metatropism, those characteristics are reversed.
+
+=The Metatropic Man= prefers tall, strong, powerful women,
+often of a different nationality or race, at times, women with some
+physiological handicap, lameness or deformity (the French philosopher
+Descartes was attracted to women suffering from strabism). He generally
+selects a woman older than himself, either very intellectual or very
+low ethically. In one case he is dominated by her mental superiority,
+in the other he feels that he is sacrificing his principles or
+his social standing. Professional or business women appeal to him
+especially. He is often a shoe fetishist. Clothing which denotes power,
+authority, impresses him.
+
+=The Metatropic Woman= seeks feminine, beardless men, with perhaps
+a good head of long hair (poets, artists). Madame Dudevant, the French
+novelist, adopted the masculine name George Sand and had affairs with
+two sickly artists, Musset, the poet, and Chopin, the composer.
+
+The metatropic woman is often a professional or business woman who, in
+her love relation, assumes a very independent, dictatorial attitude to
+men. She favors young men whom she can dominate better.
+
+In what Hirschfeld calls metatropists, we recognise parent-fixation
+men and women, obsessed by a conscious or unconscious incest fear, a
+complication which has been discussed in another chapter.
+
+Krafft-Ebing and Albert Eulenburg classify metatropic men with
+masochists (see Chapter XX) and metatropic women with sadists (see
+Chapter XIX).
+
+=Dr. Steinach's Experiments= show the close relationship between
+homosexualism and the secretions of the interstitial cells of the
+genital glands.
+
+After castrating young rats which, after the operation, remained in
+an infantile stage of development, Steinach transplanted into their
+inguinal region male or female gonads.
+
+Males into which female gonads had been implanted, developed all the
+physical characteristics and all the mannerisms of the female, paid no
+attention to females at mating time and, on the contrary, attracted the
+rutting males and were attracted to them.
+
+Castrated females in whose body he implanted testicles, showed the
+hardier hair growth of males, tried to mate with females and remained
+indifferent to males.
+
+Prof. Brandes, director of the Zoological Garden in Darmstadt, has
+repeated those experiments on deer with identical results. The female
+in which testicles were implanted behaved like a male and grew antlers.
+The male's mammary glands grew very fast after the implantation of
+female gonads.
+
+It is said that Steinach has successfully transformed homosexuals
+into normal men but the last statement of his on the "Histology
+of the Gonads in homosexual Men," (Vol. 46, No. 1, Archiv für
+Entwickelungsmechanismus der Organismen) contains no mention of such
+results.
+
+=Perverse Birds.= If we now turn to experiments reported by William
+Craig in the _Journal of Animal Behavior_, we see an apparently
+different process at work. Young male birds kept for a year in a cage
+with females and away from all males, will at mating time ignore
+entirely the females, and offer themselves to males in the mating
+position of the female.
+
+The same process is observable in females brought up with males
+exclusively.
+
+Imitation in this case seems to give exactly the same results which
+Steinach obtained thru castration and transplantation of gonads.
+
+If we now leave the physiologists and consult the psychoanalysts,
+Freud, Ferenczi, Stekel and Adler will show us that homosexualism can
+be produced by "purely" psychic factors.
+
+=Freud Rejects the Hypothesis of a Third Sex=: "Homosexual men who have
+started in our times an energetic action against the legal limitations
+of the sexual activity," Freud writes, "are fond of representing
+themselves, thru theoretical spokesmen, as evincing a sexual variation,
+which may be distinguished from the very beginning, as an intermediate
+stage or sex, a third sex. In other words, they maintain that they are
+men who are forced by organic determinants originating in the germ
+to find in a man the pleasure which they cannot find in a woman. As
+much as one would wish to subscribe to their demands, out of humane
+considerations, one must nevertheless exercise reserve regarding
+their theories which were formulated without regard for the psychic
+genesis of homosexuality. Psychoanalysis offers the means to fill the
+gap and to put to test the assertions of the homosexuals. It is true
+that psychoanalysis has fulfilled that task in only a small number of
+people, but all the investigations thus far undertaken have brought the
+same surprising results.
+
+"In all our male homosexuals, there was a very intense erotic
+attachment to a feminine person, as a rule to the mother, which was
+manifested in the very first period of childhood and later entirely
+forgotten by the individual. This attachment was produced or favored
+by too much love from the mother herself, but was also furthered by
+the retirement or absence of the father during the childhood period.
+Sadger emphasises the fact that the mothers of his homosexual patients
+were often masculine women, or women with energetic traits of character
+who were able to crowd out the father from the place allotted to him
+in the family. I have sometimes observed the same thing, but I was
+more impressed by those cases in which the father was absent from the
+beginning or disappeared early so that the boy was altogether under
+feminine influence."
+
+"It almost seems that the presence of a strong father would assure for
+the son the proper decision in the selection of his love object from
+the opposite sex.
+
+"Following this primary stage, a transformation takes place whose
+mechanism we know but whose motive forces we have not yet grasped. The
+love of the mother cannot continue to develop consciously so that it
+merges into repression. The boy represses his love for the mother by
+putting himself into her place, by identifying himself with her, and
+by taking his own person as a model thru the similarity of which he is
+guided in the selection of his love object. He thus becomes homosexual;
+as a matter of fact, he returns to the stage of autoerotism, for the
+boys whom the growing adult now loves are only substitute persons or
+revivals of his own childish person, whom he loves in the same way as
+his mother loved him. We say that he finds his love object on the road
+to narcism, after the Greek legend of Narcissus to whom nothing was
+more pleasing than his own mirrored image.
+
+"Deeper psychological discussions justify the assertion that the person
+who becomes homosexual in this manner remains fixed in his unconscious
+on the memory of his mother. By repressing the love for his mother, he
+conserves the same in his consciousness and henceforth remains faithful
+to her. When as a lover he seems to pursue boys, he really thus runs
+away from women who could cause him to be faithless to his mother."
+
+=Active and Passive Types.= Ferenczi draws a distinction between the
+active and the passive types of homosexuals, that is, between the man
+who, in love acts like a woman, in a submissive way, and the man who
+loves men as he would women, in an agressive way.
+
+"A man who in his love relations with men feels himself to be a woman,"
+he writes, "is inverted in respect to his own ego (homo-erotism thru
+subject inversion, or, more shortly, subject-homo-erotism). He feels
+himself to be a woman, and this not only in the love relationship but
+in all relations of life.
+
+"It is quite otherwise with the true active homosexual. He feels
+himself a man in every respect, is as a rule very energetic and active,
+and there in nothing effeminate to be discovered in his bodily or
+mental organisation. The object of his inclination alone is exchanged,
+so that one might call him homo-erotic thru exchange of the love
+object, or more shortly, object-homo-erotic.
+
+"A further and striking difference between the subjective and the
+objective homo-erotic consists in the fact that the former (the invert)
+feels himself attracted by more mature, powerful men, and is on
+friendly terms, as a colleague, one might say, with women; the second
+type, on the contrary, is almost exclusively interested in young,
+delicate boys with an effeminate appearance, but meets a woman with
+pronounced antipathy, and not rarely with hatred which is badly or
+not at all concealed. The true invert is hardly ever impelled to seek
+medical advice, he feels at complete ease in the passive rôle and has
+no other wish than that people should put up with his peculiarity and
+not interfere with the kind of satisfaction that suits him. He is not
+very passionate and chiefly demands from his lover the recognition of
+his bodily and other merits.
+
+"The object-homo-erotic, on the other hand, is uncommonly tormented
+by the consciousness of his own abnormality; sexual intercourse never
+completely satisfies him; he is tortured by qualms of conscience and
+overestimates his sexual object to the uttermost.
+
+"The subject-homo-erotic is a member of the intermediate sex, in the
+sense of Magnus Hirschfeld and his followers. The object-homo-erotic,
+is the victim of an obsessional neurosis."
+
+The distinction between active and passive homosexuals is convenient
+but slightly arbitrary. Certain homosexuals are at times passive and
+at times active. Both types become at times the victims of obsessions
+and seek the help of psychotherapists. Active as well as passive
+homosexuals may be married and heterosexually potent.
+
+=The Homosexual Neurosis.= Dr. Wilhelm Stekel of Vienna calls
+homosexualism the homosexual neurosis. He summarises the genesis of
+homosexualism as follows:
+
+"As a child the homosexual is very precocious sexually and can only
+repress his cravings by developing fear, hatred and disgust at the
+thought of heterosexual relations. The result of that repression is a
+flight from normal into abnormal forms of sexual gratification."
+
+=A Safety Device.= To Adler, homosexualism is a detail of the
+neurotic picture, a compromise and a safety device.
+
+"Every neurotic," he writes, "experiences at some time during his
+childhood doubts as to whether he will ever attain complete virility.
+Giving up the hope of being a real man, is, for a child, synonymous
+with being a woman. This carries in its wake a whole cycle of childish
+valuations: aggression, activity, power, freedom, wealth, sadism are
+male attributes; inhibitions, cowardice, obedience, poverty are female
+attributes.
+
+"The child plays for a while a dual part, being submissive to his
+parents and teachers but indulging in dreams which express his craving
+for independence, freedom and importance.
+
+"This duality in the child's psyche, the forerunner of a split in his
+consciousness, can have varying results in later years. The individual
+will oscillate between the male and the female poles with a constant
+striving toward the unification of those two tendencies.
+
+"The masculine component prevents a complete assumption of the
+feminine rôle, the feminine component is an obstacle to complete
+virility. Hence a compromise: feminine behavior thru masculine means: a
+timid submissive male, masculine masochism, homosexuality. Or masculine
+behavior thru feminine devices."
+
+=Above and Below.= A series of comparisons has established itself
+in the human mind, owing to the enslavement of the female by the male,
+starting with the antithesis: male-female: good and bad, right and
+left, HIGH, and LOW, ABOVE and BELOW.
+
+In every female neurotic, according to Adler, there is a refusal to be
+a female, that is, to be BELOW (socially as well as sexually).
+
+The female who is inferior in looks or intelligence or position and
+cannot either compensate for that inferiority by displaying superiority
+in some other way (artistic or scientific accomplishment), or reconcile
+herself to her inferior position, wishes consciously and unconsciously
+to be a man. Consciously she makes herself as masculine as possible.
+Unconsciously, she dreams herself into a male personality, physically,
+mentally, socially AND sexually. Her wish to be ABOVE makes her play a
+man's part in love as well as in the world's life.
+
+=A Way Out.= Homosexualism is, like every neurotic symptom, a way
+out of life's difficulties.
+
+A male homosexual I treated associated the idea of woman with "trouble,
+sickness, expense, lack of freedom." "Every" woman was to him a "leg
+puller," a "gold digger," a liar, insatiable in her demands, spying on
+her husband, constantly suffering from "female trouble."
+
+This man had never been married and his only sexual experiences, which
+were of the most ephemeral type, had been gained in the few hours of
+his life which he spent with a woman much older than himself, a cabaret
+singer and a prostitute. Yet, he was convinced that "women are too much
+trouble."
+
+An unconsciously homosexual male who is married, and quite potent and
+who consulted me after a serious "breakdown," had a dream in which he
+saw himself at the top of a mountain in Africa (flight from reality and
+his present environment). Six large negroes (powerful male sexuality)
+carried away his wife's coffin, (flight from the sexual partner). A
+long line of negroes then walked past him and he felt that as long as
+he would be on friendly terms with them, he would not want for anything
+(line of least effort).
+
+Female homosexuals who had never had any normal heterosexual
+experience ranted along the same line of thought: "A husband is too
+much trouble." "The idea of submitting to a brute of a man," "I don't
+wish to be a slave to a man," etc.
+
+All this voices what Adler terms the "masculine protest."
+
+=The Escape from Biological Duties.= Kempf also considers homosexualism
+as a compromise and a convenient escape from biological duties.
+
+"Heterosexual potency," he writes "judging from the behavior of many
+psychopaths and normals of both sexes, varies in its vigor and is never
+quite secure from the possibility of disintegration in the face of
+depressing influences, such as disease, a frigid, unkind, terrifying,
+neurotic or disgusting mate, hopeless economic burdens, fear of
+pregnancy, or venereal diseases, social scandals, an inaccessible
+or unresponsive love-object, death of the mate or a too fixed
+mother-attachment.
+
+The intrigues and usurpations of power by the family of the mate,
+suppressing the idealised wishes of the individual, often cause the
+regression to the lower level of homo-sexuality, where, at least,
+parental sacrifices need not be made."
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XVIII
+
+                   HOMOSEXUALISM, A NEUROTIC SYMPTOM
+
+
+The varying views as to the genesis of homosexualism, which I have
+attempted to summarise in the preceding chapter, can be easily
+reconciled.
+
+Doubts as to one's "completeness" and a craving for safety may, even at
+an early age, cause the gonads to remain undeveloped or to develop in
+the wrong direction. Craig's pigeons were as completely "perverted" by
+the wrong environment as Steinach's rats by surgical operations.
+
+Hirschfeld's intermediate sex, in its concealed forms, that is, when
+the individual, upon gross examination, appears normal, may well
+be produced by the environment. Freud's Oedipus situation is not
+incompatible with Adler's theory of the neurotic constitution.
+
+Gonads are not different from any other glands. Thyroid involvement may
+produce fear or, at least, a picture of fear (exophthalmic goitre),
+but fear also produces many forms of thyroid involvement (goitre and
+exophthalmic goitre were alarmingly frequent in French towns submitted
+to bombardment during the world war). A study of psychic impotence
+in men and frigidity in women has proved that impotence was mainly
+a refusal to be a potent man, frigidity a refusal to be woman in
+intercourse. In certain cases, exaggerated cravings for impotence or
+frigidity may modify the gonads so completely that they present the
+condition Hirschfeld has called typical of the intermediate sex.
+
+Homosexualism can be best understood when viewed as a neurotic
+phenomenon, not as a neurosis in itself, but as a detail of the
+neurotic attitude to life outlined by Adler. Homosexualism is, in its
+last analysis, an organic striving away from life's normal goals.
+
+=A Denial of Life.= Homosexualism cannot be understood unless we
+associate it with a denial of life and all its duties. Nor could love
+be understood if we tried to dissociate it from its primary sexual goal
+which is the acceptance of life with its duties, symbolised by the
+procreation of life and the creation of new duties by the individual,
+duties which he considers as a source of joy.
+
+=Homosexualism Is Love, Negative Love=, quite as involuntary and
+as obsessive as normal, heterosexual, positive love.
+
+A homosexual teacher wrote to Plazek: "A glance at the literature and
+art produced by homosexuals as well as insight into actual conditions,
+reveals that abnormal love can conjure up the same emotional display as
+normal love. Longing, faithfulness, devotion, self sacrifice, blossom
+forth in abnormal love as well as in normal love.
+
+"In both, complete communion may be the goal and climax of feelings
+which are perhaps among the deepest and finest which mankind can
+experience."
+
+=Their Love Letters.= The absolute similarity of heterosexual and
+homosexual love in their written expression can be judged by perusing
+the sonnets which Michael Angelo wrote to young Tommaso dei Cavalieri
+and which could very well have been addressed to a woman.
+
+A sober scientist like Winckelman was carried away by his homosexual
+love for Frederick von Berg to the point of writing the following
+epistle which might emanate from a lovelorn highschool boy:
+
+"All the names I might call you are not sweet enough and do not do
+justice to my love. All the things I might say to you sound too weak
+to give voice to my heart and my soul. I love you, my dearest, more
+than the whole world and neither time nor circumstances nor age could
+ever cause my love to diminish."
+
+=Deeds of Violence.= Homosexual love has led to as many deeds of
+violence on the part of disappointed lovers as heterosexual love. The
+papers frequently publish without comments stories of the shooting of
+a woman by another woman, caused by the fact that the victim was "too
+attentive to another woman."
+
+Psychiatrists who can read between the lines recognise in those murders
+the result of homosexual jealousy and infidelity.
+
+In that respect the behavior of the two sexes seems slightly different.
+
+"It is well known," remarks Havelock Ellis, "that the part taken
+by women generally in open criminality, and especially in crimes
+of violence, is small as compared with men. In the homosexual the
+conditions are to some extent reversed. Inverted men, in whom a more
+or less feminine temperament is so often found, are rarely impelled to
+acts of aggressive violence, though they frequently commit suicide.
+Inverted women, who may retain their feminine emotionality combined
+with some degree of infantile impulsiveness and masculine energy,
+present a favorable soil for the seeds of passional crime, under those
+conditions of jealousy and allied emotions which must so often enter
+the invert's life."
+
+=A Homosexual Tragedy.= In a recent case in Chicago a homosexual woman
+shot her former roommate and then seriously wounded herself. They had
+roomed together and last fall the victim broke off the life together
+because the invert "was too affectionate." The victim went to her
+parents' house in the South to get rid of the invert. On her return to
+Chicago two months later she was bothered by the invert who insisted
+that she room with her. On April 22d she received a letter from the
+invert containing a bullet and a threat. Alarmed, she had the invert
+arrested, but the invert was discharged on promise she would not annoy
+the girl. The invert had a number of swagger sticks, one of which she
+carried each day. There is no account of her masculinity of attire. She
+wrote poems to her victim and made her presents including a diamond
+ring and a diamond studded watch, all of which were returned. There had
+been several threats of killing the victim, before the letter came, if
+she ended the friendship.
+
+=Women More Homosexual than Men.= Remembering how the mother's fetishes
+affect us in the choice of a sexual mate we may expect to find more
+homosexualism in woman than in man. The facts bear up our theory.
+While the gross forms of homosexualism are less frequent among women,
+a thousand mild forms of it are observable in the behavior of even
+apparently very normal women.
+
+The sentimental attachments of school girls for certain teachers,
+the pleasure which they derive from spending nights with some friend
+on whom they have a "crush," the thousand and one bodily caresses
+female friends shower on each other, the curiosity they manifest about
+each other's physical condition, their frequent bed room or bathroom
+conferences, are manifestations of a mild homosexualism, which,
+however, do not always lead to overt acts.
+
+=Boastfulness.= Many homosexuals compensate for the scorn meted
+out to them by normal individuals with a certain proud boastfulness.
+
+"We are supermen," one hears them say when they find a sympathetic
+listener, "we have reached beyond the usual, boresome, bourgeois form
+of gratification. Our intellect is nauseated by woman's silliness."
+
+And the females say in their turn: "We are super-women, we have
+conquered the fear of man and we are tired of man's boorish ways."
+
+Some of the male homosexuals who are bisexual, that is, can also be
+attracted by women, pride themselves over the mentality of the women
+they love. "Men have accustomed us to a higher intellectual level and
+to a more intelligent form of conversation," a homosexual said to me.
+
+This is naturally a defence mechanism. By demanding extremely high
+qualification from the women, homosexuals have a ready excuse for
+consorting with men exclusively.
+
+=Famous Homosexuals.= Homosexuals are fond of mentioning all the
+men famous in art and letters whose sexual life was inverted: the Greek
+philosophers, poets and playwrights of the classic age, Julius Cæsar,
+Alexander the Great, Michael Angelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Frederick of
+Prussia, Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Nietzsche, etc.
+
+=The Nietzsche-Wagner Feud= should be rewritten from a psychiatrist's
+point of view. Wagner was to young Nietzsche an attractive, heroic,
+father-image. The philosopher never had any real affair of the heart
+with a woman. He only indulged in very ephemeral relationships which,
+by their disastrous results, drove him further away from women. (Dr.
+W. H. White of Washington received the assurance while in Europe that
+Nietzsche died of syphilis.) Nietzsche made himself obnoxious to Wagner
+by trying to be his press agent. As Wagner, however, a shrewd business
+man in his old days, objected to Nietzsche's agnosticism and to his
+friendship with certain Jews, Nietzsche, disappointed in his love,
+abandoned Wagner and hated him fiercely. He attacked him on every
+occasion, his hatred being made the fiercer by the fact that he himself
+considered himself as a greater composer, one line in Nietzsche's
+letters throws a strange light upon the poor paretic's feelings.
+Wagner's "feminine traits" he wrote, finally disgusted him.
+
+=Shall Perverse Love Be Recognized?= Efforts are being made in
+various directions at the present day to have homosexual love legally
+recognised and given perfect equality with heterosexual love. In
+Germany, a number of writers, Von Kupfer, Friedlander and others have
+boldly championed that futile attempt.
+
+A cinema film was produced last year (1921) in Berlin depicting the
+plight of the homosexual who is unable to control his cravings and
+falls a victim to the wiles of a blackmailer. Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld
+agreed to impersonate in that production the scientist who attempts to
+enlighten the public as to the nature of homosexualism, so as to bring
+about a modification of the statute punishing perverts.
+
+=Man's Emancipation.= In 1900, Elizar von Kupfer called upon the men to
+proclaim their "independence" from women. "The man who lives in bondage
+to women," he wrote, "and who humors her whims, has lost his manhood.
+Since woman is emancipating herself, why should not men follow the same
+road?"
+
+Illogically enough, Von Kupfer defends the mothers and wives, "flowers
+who should not be rooted out of the garden of love." In Schopenhauer's
+silly outbursts against woman, however, Von Kupfer sees "a test of
+manhood revolting against man's humiliation" and he adds that "it is
+only from the closest relation of man to man, adolescent to man, and
+adolescent to adolescent, that government and civilisation will derive
+real power."
+
+Blüher considers homosexualism as an "essential human trait which must
+be granted an outlet with certain restrictions (setting the age of
+consent at fourteen and forbidding the use of violence)."
+
+Benedikt Friedlander, in his "Renaissance des Eros Uranios" suggests
+"bringing ancient and modern culture into harmony with each other by
+reviving the Greek Eros and overthrowing the monopoly which woman has,
+of being loved and beautiful."
+
+Removing the legal penalties which punish overt homosexual acts is one
+thing. Recognising homosexualism is an entirely different proposition.
+Punishing a typhoid fever patient would be absurd, but typhoid fever
+sufferers should not be allowed to remain at large without treatment.
+Homosexualism is a neurotic trait which should be eradicated, if
+possible, by analytic treatment. Hopeless cases, on the other hand
+should be protected against their instincts by a form of confinement
+which would be neither punitive nor more humiliating than the
+confinement imposed upon sufferers from contagious diseases.
+
+=Homosexualism and the War.= Homosexualism has been on the increase
+since the war. Stekel reports many gruesome cases of husbands who,
+until they went to the barracks and the trenches, where their
+unconscious homosexualism found an unusual stimulation, were normal in
+their attitude to their wives, and who returned after the armistice
+absolutely inverted and unable to give or receive normal gratification.
+
+The bobbed hair craze has many good excuses. Bobbed hair is kept tidy
+more easily than long tresses and can be dried quicker after a shampoo.
+At the same time, when we consider that the boyish type of women
+became fashionable about the same time when short hair did, and that
+soon after the war, advertising boards were covered with the praise
+of devices enabling women to conceal their natural curves, we must
+consider both fashions as symptomatic of an increase in homosexualism.
+
+We might also mention another fashion detail: while dressmakers were
+trying their best to obliterate their customers breasts, they would
+bare entirely their backs. Anyone familiar with the symbolism and
+dreams of homosexuals will understand the import of that style of
+dresses.
+
+=Is Homosexualism Necessary?= Dr. Otto Gross, without openly
+countenancing homosexualism, holds that a certain proportion of it is
+necessary in man's makeup for a mutual understanding of both sexes.
+
+"We can only understand," he writes, "what we have experienced. Unless
+a man has a decided feminine trend, he is not likely to understand a
+woman, or to live with her harmoniously and vice versa."
+
+A consideration of the purely physical side of love lends a slight
+plausibility to that view. Unless a man can clearly imagine love's
+pleasure as experienced by a woman, he may not be able to vouchsafe her
+complete gratification.
+
+The progress of civilisation certainly demands that men become less
+masculine (translate: boorish) and women less feminine (meaning: silly).
+
+We could not tolerate, however, what Friedländer called a Renaissance
+of Eros Uranios, leading to the conditions which obtained in Greece
+where men, while consorting with other men, were also potent with women.
+
+No parallel can be drawn between Greek culture and modern culture.
+
+Hellenic culture was decidedly masculine, women being solely tools of
+lust, or beasts of burden, or means of proliferation. As I will show
+in another chapter, one really modern woman can give to the modern
+man what Demosthenes sought in three kinds of women, a prostitute, a
+concubine and a wife, not to count a male mistress.
+
+=What is Really Needed= is a better understanding of homosexualism
+by the public and by the homosexuals. After which, homosexuals, no
+longer despised and punished for their obsessive cravings, and no
+longer proud of their condition, will be given sympathy and treatment,
+voluntary or compulsory. Psychoanalysts will remove their complexes and
+lead them toward a positive goal; surgeons, performing on them some
+of Steinach's operations, may raise their heterosexual potency to the
+point at which no doubt will obsess them any longer.
+
+Those things will avail little, however, until parents watch their
+offspring carefully to discover in them the first symptoms of a
+homosexual trend and adopt ways and means to prevent the growth of the
+neurosis.
+
+We may for convenience quote Hirschfeld's description of the homosexual
+child, a very superficial one, indeed, sufficient, however, to cause
+the average parent to seek psychological and medical advice before it
+is too late and before mental and physical habits have compromised,
+perhaps hopelessly, the love life of their children.
+
+"The homosexual boy prefers girls' games, shuns boys' games, is girlish
+in disposition and behavior, if not in appearance. People often say
+that he is like a girl. He is happy in the company of girls. He has a
+psychic fixation on his mother. He is reserved and embarrassed before
+other boys. He often becomes unduly attached to a male teacher or a
+schoolmate.
+
+"The homosexual girl prefers boys' games, does not care for sewing or
+other feminine occupations, is boyish in her disposition, her motions,
+often in her appearance. People call her a tomboy. She likes to romp
+with boys. She is overattached to her father. She shows embarrassment
+in the presence of other girls. She often falls madly in love with a
+female teacher or some older woman."
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XIX
+
+                       CRUELTY AND LOVE. SADISM
+
+
+In normal individuals the idea of love is inseparably associated with
+tenderness, caressing gestures, words or glances, readiness on the part
+of either mate to go to extremes in order to enhance the loved one's
+enjoyment of the amorous relationship, or to protect him against all
+dangers or suffering.
+
+In normal individuals, love and suffering are antithetic terms, love
+meaning joy and pleasure, (sexual and egotistical), suffering being
+only conceivable when the craving for love is ungratified, when the
+lonely lovers are parted by life, when one of them has been robbed by
+death of his mate, etc.
+
+=Algolagnists.= There are abnormal human beings, however, known
+technically as algolagnists (from algos, pain, and lagneia, enjoyment),
+who cannot imagine or enjoy love when it is entirely dissociated from
+some form of suffering.
+
+The active algolagnists must inflict some pain, physical or mental,
+upon their mate in order to enjoy the pleasures of love to their full
+extent. The passive algolagnists only attain the highest degree of
+amorous satisfaction when they are submitted by their mate to painful
+or humiliating treatment.
+
+Active algolagnists are known more commonly as "sadists," an expression
+created by Moreau de Tours. Krafft-Ebing, the most famous writer on
+sexual perversions coined for passive algolagnists the expression
+"masochists."
+
+The word sadist is derived from the name of Marquis de Sade, a French
+pervert of the eighteenth century, whose life and writings well
+illustrate the form of love which is constantly associated with acts of
+cruelty.
+
+=Donatien Alphonse François de Sade= was born in Paris, June 2 1740,
+the offspring of an aristocratic family of Provence. Among his
+ancestors was the Laura of Petrarca's sonnets.
+
+At fourteen, he joined a cavalry regiment. He went thru the Seven
+Years War during which he witnessed the most ruthless atrocities. On
+his return, at the age of twenty-seven, he married, but soon after his
+marriage was arrested for some deed of cruelty committed in a house of
+prostitution.
+
+His father's death left him heir to an important government position
+but his life of excesses gave him little time to attend to his duties.
+
+At twenty-eight, he attracted much attention by a scandal in which he
+played a prominent part. He lured a shopkeeper's wife, Rose Keller to a
+house in the suburbs of the French capital where he used to hold revels.
+
+Threatening the woman with a pistol, he bound her hands and feet and
+whipped her to the blood.
+
+The next morning, Rose Keller managed to free herself, jumped out of
+the window and summoned help. De Sade was arrested but the affair was
+soon hushed up by powerful friends at the court of Louis the Fifteenth.
+
+That incident is characteristic of sadism in love's relations. His
+victim's sufferings supplied De Sade with the artificial stimulation
+which normal desire would produce in a normal man.
+
+Soon after this, De Sade eloped to Italy with his wife's sister.
+
+On his way to Italy, he stopped in Marseille and organized an orgy in
+the course of which he gorged his guests with candy containing some
+poisonous aphrodisiac drug. Two of them died.
+
+This time, a court rendered a death sentence against the murderous
+pervert, who eluded the police for a time and was finally confined in
+the fortress of Vincennes for thirteen years.
+
+It was said at the time that a woman had been found in a house where
+he indulged in all sorts of debauches, unconscious and bleeding from a
+hundred scalpel wounds which had severed many veins.
+
+De Sade devoted his enforced leisure to writing. His published works
+fill up ten volumes. They contain a description of the most atrocious
+sexual cruelties. The author makes a childish attempt at establishing
+a "satanic" morality based on the fact that "virtue is always punished
+by the world and vice always rewarded." His atheism is no more than a
+satanic ritual.
+
+De Sade's literary output, which is devoid of any artistic merit and
+is only of interest to the student of abnormal psychology, bears the
+stamp of hopeless intellectual inferiority trying to justify itself
+by representing the entire world as a combination of a brothel and a
+torture chamber and mankind as a herd of blood-thirsty and sex-crazed
+lunatics. A sinister autobiography and wish fulfilment.
+
+The revolutionists of 1789 who opened the doors of all jails and insane
+asylums gave De Sade his freedom on July 14. He sided politically with
+his deliverers but after a while, became suspicious to them and again
+spent one year in prison (1793-1794).
+
+=What Bonaparte Thought of Him.= De Sade, who had been very liberal in
+presenting free copies of his obscene novels to men prominent in the
+days of the Revolution and the Terror, made the mistake of sending a
+set of his works to Bonaparte.
+
+The Corsican caused the entire edition to be suppressed and diagnosed
+the author very accurately as a murderous pervert, unfit to be at
+large. De Sade was committed to an insane asylum where he remained
+until his death on December 2, 1814.
+
+Sadism is a morbid phenomenon which remained mysterious until recently,
+when the experimental work of physiologists like Cannon, Sherrington
+and others, revealed to us the close connection existing between mental
+states, muscular tensions and the secretions of ductless glands of the
+body.
+
+Adler's "individual psychology" also has thrown much light upon many
+morbid actions which are simply attempts at compensation for a feeling
+of inferiority. The neurotic, briefly speaking, feels inferior, that
+is, afraid of some imaginary danger. He casts about for something
+which can be done quickly, simply, with the least effort, and which
+will restore his peace and safety by filling him, were it only
+temporarily, with a sense of actual or imaginary superiority.
+
+=Glandular Drunkenness.= Wulffen suggests an interpretation of sadism
+which is ingenious but unconvincing. He considers every act of violence
+as provoked by the faulty functioning of some glands.
+
+He compares the effect of the gonadal hormones (one of the secretions
+of the sex glands issuing from the interstitial cells) with that of
+alcohol. Alcohol destroys the inhibitions and allows unconscious
+cravings of an inacceptable sort to express themselves thru overt acts.
+
+The drunken man loses all shame and all fear, becomes boisterous and,
+at times, murderous. Likewise, Wulffen says, oversecretion of the
+gonadal hormones creates a sort of sexual drunkenness in the course of
+which the individual is forced into violent or cruel behavior.
+
+This would be acceptable if all the sadists were strong healthy
+specimens of manhood and womanhood. Most of them, on the contrary, show
+plainly signs of glandular insufficiency.
+
+Wulffen's thesis is not confirmed as some writers assume by a study of
+the mating habits of many animals. Cocks during the act of mating peck
+cruelly the back of the hen's head. Tomcats bite the necks of their
+mates. Toads, at times, choke the female to death in their clinging
+embrace.
+
+In those acts of animal "cruelty" there is probably another element
+to be considered. The tomcat, digging his teeth into the female cat's
+neck, may not so much relieve his sadistic impulses as produce in his
+mate some welcome sensation of pleasurable pain. We know how willingly
+the most rebellious cats allow any one to grab them by the backs of
+their necks, making no effort at freeing themselves and apparently
+enjoying that partial strangulation. (Remember the aphrodisiac
+influence of hanging.)
+
+=Atavism.= Eulenburg considers that sadism is an atavistic trait. "Not
+only animals," he says, "but primitive races associate mating with
+violence."
+
+The caveman is supposed to have beaten the female he captured into
+insensibility before dragging her to his cave.
+
+We do not know, however, whether it was THE caveman or SOME cavemen
+who indulged in that practice, the existence of which may be merely
+a subject for speculation. It goes without saying that whenever
+females were carried off by victorious tribes after armed conflicts the
+"wooing" of the captives must have been synonymous with violence and
+rape.
+
+Old documents offer many examples of the combination of love and
+violence. There is the old legend of Griseldis in which a sadistic man
+tested in the cruellest way the woman who was to be his life mate.
+
+The epic poem Gudrun recites one of the prehistoric struggles between
+male and female. The unfortunate male in this case is overpowered by
+the Nordic Valkyrie who binds him with her girdle and keeps him lashed
+to the wall till morning.
+
+The modern honeymoon trip is undoubtedly a survival of the primeval
+habit of carrying off the bride.
+
+=Primitive Religions= constantly associate sadism with love. In fact
+the Goddess of Love, in the Greek mythology, owed her existence to an
+act of sadism. Kronos' male organ, cut off by his Zeus, fell into the
+sea, fertilized it, and Aphrodite was born.
+
+Many primitive gods demanded the sacrifice of virgins, primitive
+goddesses decapitated or castrated men with whom at times they
+consorted. The priests and priestesses of certain religions could only
+please their gods by submitting to sexual indignities, the priestesses
+of Cybelea prostituting themselves to every one, the priests castrating
+themselves.
+
+Some of those acts of violence, however, must be considered from an
+entirely different point of view.
+
+=In Primitive Races= real achievement was always associated with
+violence. The "real man" was the victorious fighter and killer. Even in
+Roman days, gladiator duels terminated with the death of the defeated
+man, unless he were a popular ring idol whom the mob saved for further
+encounters.
+
+The robber, designated by more flattering names, of course, gained more
+glory by stealing goods or gold than the merchant who, in ways more
+socially acceptable, accumulated goods and gold.
+
+Civilisation has changed those things. In neurotic states, however,
+we always observe a return to archaic modes of action which are more
+direct. We nowadays kill off a competitor thru advertising. Instead of
+levying tribute on the defeated rival, we compel him to sell out to us
+at our price, etc. The neurotic kills or steals, as archaic heroes did.
+
+=Animal Love Fights.= Also, as far as animals are concerned, the
+more or less playful fights with which they prelude their mating is
+not, as Wulffen suggests, due to gonadal drunkenness. On the contrary,
+it is meant to produce a stronger outpouring of gonadal secretions in
+both male and female, thereby increasing the energy of the male and
+assuring the pregnancy of the female.
+
+Fights preceding animal mating increase, among other things, the
+secretions of the adrenal cortex which impart to all the muscles (among
+them the sexual muscles) a considerable tension.
+
+Let us bear in mind that physiological detail while interpreting the
+fact that many neurotics are only potent sexually with women who resist
+them. We see how a certain amount of struggle, producing perhaps slight
+anger (and possibly leading to acts of violence), would strengthen the
+sexual faculties of the weak neurotic and enable him to possess his
+mate. From that type of neurotic, who requires glandular excitement of
+the adrenal type, to the sadist, typified by the famous Marquis, and
+up to the Ripper who disembowels his victims we see merely a series
+of gradations in glandular insufficiency, not as Wulffen said, in
+glandular hyper-secretion.
+
+=A Neurotic Trait.= Furthermore, sadism should not be considered
+as a phenomenon of purely sexual character. Sadism is merely a detail
+of the neurotic make up. It is one of the neurotic short cuts whereby
+an inferior individual acquires a temporary superiority.
+
+The section foreman who takes pleasure in driving his men at a killing
+pace, the detective engaged daily in the task of man hunting, the
+so-called "strict" parent who beats his children, the surgeon who never
+tires of performing operations, the futile reformer who is constantly
+trying to deprive some one of some form of enjoyment, the jealous
+husband who deprives his wife of many pleasures, the jealous wife who
+relishes the thought that her husband is giving up his club or his
+former associates for her sake, are sadists, some of them partly normal
+and useful, some of them morbid or ridiculous.
+
+=The Mob.= Sadism is one of the great "mob characteristics." Why do we
+run to fires and to the scene of an accident? To help? No. To enjoy the
+sight of some one's life or property being destroyed. If our impulses
+were humane or charitable we should be relieved, nay exultant, when we
+learn that the conflagration has only destroyed a curtain or a shade,
+when we see the man bowled over by a taxi getting up and walking away,
+little the worse for the experience.
+
+Notice on the contrary the indignation of the average man when the fire
+"does not amount to anything", when the "victim" of an accident escapes
+unharmed.
+
+=Is the Male More Cruel?= It has been said that sadism was a masculine
+trait, masochism a feminine characteristic. Like the majority of
+generalisations on the subject of sex differences, it is inaccurate.
+
+Man, the hunter, is more aggressive in love, but his aggressiveness
+need not include cruelty. His strength, in modern life, is put to quite
+a different use, to protect the weaker female, not to overwhelm her.
+
+Woman is supposed to be more submissive but mythology, legend and
+history present to us thousands of cases in which the female of the
+human species betrayed many sadistic instincts, not infrequently
+associated with her love activities. Even in the animal world, while
+we behold males apparently submitting the female to much suffering,
+we find not a few cases, for instance in the insect world, of females
+killing or even devouring their mate immediately after the love
+communion.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XX
+
+                 LOVE THAT CRAVES SUFFERING. MASOCHISM
+
+
+The man whom Krafft-Ebing selected as the typical masochist, Leopold
+von Sacher-Masoch, was born in Lemberg, January 27, 1836.
+
+He was extremely frail in infancy and childhood. He compensated for
+his physical inferiority thru unusual mental activity, for at the
+age of nineteen he won his degree of doctor of law. At twenty he was
+appointed instructor in German history at an university. At the age
+of twenty-five he was the author of several books of history. He then
+turned to fiction, first of the historical and then of the purely
+psychological type.
+
+A morbid tendency was observable in his very first books, a tendency
+which became more and more marked and which led him to write almost
+exclusively descriptions of perverse love entanglements.
+
+He showed a decided preference for delineating cruel, mannish types of
+women and incredibly weak types of men.
+
+As in the case of Marquis de Sade, we observe here a strange
+parallelism between the man's writings and his own biography.
+
+Sacher-Masoch's first love was a woman much older than himself, Anna
+von Kattowitz, who for four years humiliated, insulted and victimised
+him in every possible way, finally running away with a Russian
+adventurer.
+
+Then he met Princess Bogdanoff for whom he abandoned temporarily his
+professional and literary ambitions. She took him to Italy where he
+was compelled to serve her as a secretary and valet. He enjoyed the
+relationship, but the princess soon tired of him.
+
+His next liaison was with Baroness Fanny Pistor, with whom he had his
+picture taken once in the following position: she seated on a sofa and
+clad in furs, he kneeling at her feet on the floor.
+
+Then came Baroness Reizenstein, whom he could not love very long for
+she refused to satisfy his morbid craving for physical torture and
+humiliating treatment and, besides, was homosexual.
+
+Then he became engaged to a young artist, Miss Bauerfeld, of Graz.
+
+Soon after, however, he met an ugly, mannish hysterical person, Vanda
+Dunayef, who gratified better his perverse leanings and compelled him
+to break his engagement. A child was born of their union and in 1873
+they were married. They traveled from town to town, apparently unable
+to find peace anywhere, and she finally left him to elope with a
+reporter from the Paris Figaro.
+
+Sacher-Masoch secured a divorce and married again, this time a motherly
+type of woman, Hulda Meister, retired with her to the small village of
+Lindheim and died there on March 9, 1895.
+
+A few incidents of his life describe well his perversion.
+
+=Love of the Whip.= Once, according to Havelock Ellis, in the
+course of an innocent romp in which the whole household took part,
+Sacher-Masoch asked his wife to whip him. She refused. Then he
+suggested the maid should do it.
+
+His wife did not take this seriously, but he had the servant whip
+him to his full enjoyment. When his wife urged that it would not be
+possible to keep the maid after this, Sacher-Masoch agreed and she was
+discharged.
+
+He constantly found pleasure in placing his wife in awkward or
+compromising circumstances, a pleasure she was too normal to share.
+
+This led to much domestic unhappiness. Against her wish he persuaded
+her to whip him with whips to which nails were attached. This he
+claimed was a literary stimulus.
+
+Dr. Eulenburg tells of a young woman with whom Sacher-Masoch
+corresponded for a while and to whom he wrote that "his greatest joy
+would be to be whipped by a woman." Later on, Sacher-Masoch met her in
+Vienna and asked her to don a fur coat and to whip him. She however,
+pretended to treat the matter as a joke, and dismissed him.
+
+His numerous books of fiction present over and over again the same
+theme: the domineering woman, "clad in furs," who tortures a weak
+helpless man.
+
+We behold in Sacher-Masoch a clear case of physical weakness and
+glandular insufficiency. His endocrines, in particular his adrenals and
+gonads, required the actual stimulation of pain (whipping) before they
+could react properly to a sexual stimulus.
+
+It is a curious coincidence that among all forms of stimulation used
+to accelerate the gait of beasts of burden or draft horses, the whip
+is the most commonly used the world over and that, on the other hand,
+perverts of the masochist type have, the world over and at every age
+of history, more frequently resorted to the whip to torture themselves
+than to any other means of physical punishment.
+
+=The Masochist is Like a Weak or Tired Horse.= Why does whipping
+make a horse go faster? Not merely on account of the fear or pain which
+the beast experiences, but because that fear and pain MAKE HIM STRONGER.
+
+The adrenalin liberated by the fear-and-pain-producting stimulus
+stiffens every muscle in his body and his strength is doubled.
+
+This is why frightened animals or insane people in a panic can perform
+feats of strength of which they would be absolutely incapable in a
+normal state.
+
+Masochism is much more, however, than an organic attempt at
+compensating for glandular inferiority and acquiring in a morbid
+way increased sexual potency. It is a neurotic expedient whereby an
+inferior man or woman compensates for his or her weakness thru more
+weakness.
+
+By belittling themselves, by disparaging their own ability,
+masochist lovers can take advantage of their mate, let him bear all
+responsibilities.
+
+=Shoe Fetishism.= We understand from that point of view the meaning of
+the shoe fetishism which Krafft-Ebing has noticed in male masochists.
+In fact Hirschfeld states that every male shoe fetish is a masochist.
+
+To the masochist, the shoe, especially the high buttoned shoe, is
+symbolical of woman's power, of her ruthless cruelty. He sees himself
+trod on by that shoe, he imagines that shoe pressing on his neck,
+pinning his head to the ground.
+
+Curiously enough, long gloves seem to arouse the same ideas in the mind
+of the male masochist. Both shoes and gloves are found in the dreams or
+visions of neurotics, symbolizing the female organs.
+
+A masochist wrote once: "The gloved hand of a woman, altho like her
+foot, smaller and prettier than a man's, can wield the whip powerfully
+over her slave whose greatest joy consists then in kissing his
+mistress's shoes while submitting to that punishment."
+
+=Craving for Humiliation.= The masochist welcomes every form
+of humiliation and not infrequently derives great pride from his
+"patience," "tolerance," "self-sacrifice," "martyrlike resignation" etc.
+
+Like Sacher-Masoch himself, some men, husbands or lovers, (pimps,
+cadets, etc.) have been known to enjoy the sight of their wife or
+mistress in another man's arms.
+
+Hirschfeld was consulted by a woman whose husband compelled her at
+frequent intervals to have relations with a man in his own house. He
+would invite a business associate for dinner and then leave his wife to
+explain that he had been suddenly called out of town.
+
+The guest and his wife would dine together. Wine would flow freely
+and she would coquettishly goad the man into making advances to her.
+Concealed in the next room, the husband would watch thru a peep hole
+the proceedings which ended with a passionate scene.
+
+It was only after beholding that humiliating sight that the masochistic
+husband could enjoy his wife's embraces.
+
+A man who consulted me confessed to me that he was absolutely impotent
+with his own wife or with any unmarried woman. It was only with married
+women that he felt perfectly virile. The thought of his mistress in
+her husband's arms was the only thing that could arouse him physically.
+
+Many neurotics of the masochistic type have dreams of being school
+children punished by a masculine female teacher. Those dreams, be
+they night or day dreams, are always associated with erotic thoughts.
+Remember Jean Jacques Rousseau enjoying viciously the spankings which
+mademoiselle Lambercier gave him when a child.
+
+Masochists, male or female, are often very anxious to perform menial or
+disgusting tasks for the person they love, thus placing themselves in a
+subordinate, protected, position and at the same time, claiming a great
+deal of credit for their devotion.
+
+=Masochistic Fancies.= The male masochist, eager to place himself
+in the position of safety toward his mate, not infrequently imagines
+himself to be an animal and asks to be treated as such. Greek antiquity
+has bequeathed to us the story of Aristotle the philosopher, allowing
+a prostitute to ride on his back, whipping him like a horse, while he
+would crawl about on all fours.
+
+Medical literature contains many descriptions of establishments where
+male masochists are submitted to voluntary torture thru various
+appliances.
+
+The ascetics who in the Middle Ages whipped themselves, wore hair cloth
+studded with sharp nails, etc., to manifest their love to God or the
+Virgin, the Russian Skooptsy who mutilate themselves to please God, are
+religious examplaries of masochistic love.
+
+The Christian ideal of suffering and renunciation as a means of
+conquering everlasting happiness is also purely masochistic.
+
+Suffering, be it physical or mental (remorse), assures to them in the
+end, well-being (glandular well-being) and enables them to reach Heaven
+(will-to-be-above).
+
+=Are Women Masochistic?= I denied in the preceding chapter the
+frequently heard assertion that sadism in a typically masculine trait.
+I would deny quite as emphatically that masochism is peculiarly
+feminine, a view held by many sadists, as an attempted justification of
+their cruel perversion.
+
+Oscar Wilde, a bisexual, stated once that of all the masculine traits
+it was cruelty which women appreciated most. To his morbid mind cruelty
+meant power. It is power of course which woman, disabled several times
+in her life by pregnancy and lactation, seeks in the man with whom she
+mates. He must be a good fighter and a good hunter, not, however,
+merely to capture her and brutalise her, but on the contrary, to
+protect her and feed her.
+
+The sadist Kurnberger in his novel, "The Castle of Horrors" also bids
+us believe that man's greatest victory, appreciated as such by woman,
+consists in making a woman suffer, in bringing tears to her eyes, in
+outtalking and outwitting her, "a victory compared to which," he says,
+"Marengo and Austerlitz look like thirty cents."
+
+And the sadistic Nietzsche puts in the mouth of an old woman in his
+"Zarathustra" the following statement: "when you go to women, don't
+forget to take your whip."
+
+Other sadists remind us of the Russian woman's wail that her husband's
+love must be cooling off, because he hasn't beaten her in an age.
+Barring a number of exceptions, the fact remains that masochism in
+women is as abnormal as masochism in men, or sadism in men or women.
+
+=Women Who Enjoy a Beating.= There are women who enjoy unconsciously
+being beaten by their husbands, much as they may resent the outrage
+consciously.
+
+They are in every case hypothyroid and hypoadrenal types in whom the
+distribution of energy and the emergency production of energy are very
+subnormal. Nothing but a violent stimulus, physical or mental, whipping
+or insult, can make them feel strong and active.
+
+The dreams of those women, like those of masochistic men, are often of
+the nightmarish type. They suffer in their night visions all sorts of
+torture. Analysis brings out the fact that every detail of those dreams
+is associated with energy, achievement, etc.
+
+De Sade's wife belonged evidently to the masochistic type. She remained
+faithful to him to the end in spite of his perverse life, his prison
+record and the fact that he deceived her with her own sister. Her life
+of sorrow must have vouchsafed her, after all, a good many masochistic
+compensations of the neurotic variety.
+
+=Famous Women Sadists.= As against the assumption that "all" women
+are masochists, we may mention many famous women sadists, several
+Byzantine and Roman Empresses, Frankish queens, two Russian empresses,
+the treatment meted out by women to Theroigne de Méricourt, tortured
+publicly by the Jacobine women in 1793, not to mention legendary
+characters like the Amazons and mythological goddesses who killed or
+tortured their lovers.
+
+Sadism and masochism in love are pathological disturbances due to a
+neurotic attempt on the part of an inferior individual to dominate the
+sexual partner thru violence or weakness, and to assure himself against
+defeat in the sexual relationship.
+
+=The Freudian Suggestion= that the sadist identifies himself with
+the powerful and apparently, brutal father, the masochist identifying
+himself with the weaker and submissive mother, applies to a too
+restricted number of cases to be of positive help in understanding the
+nature of those two perversions. Even when that explanation seems to
+fit the case, we must, nevertheless, fall back upon the Adlerian view
+of the neurotic temperament in order to understand why a child decides
+to identify himself with one parent instead of the other.
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XXI
+
+               WHAT LOVE OWES TO SADISTS AND MASOCHISTS
+
+
+Love that inflicts suffering and love which craves suffering are
+travesties on love, for normal love gives joy and craves joy.
+
+Yet, it may be that a too perfect adaption, one vouchsafing constantly
+to the mates the security they seek in each other's arms would soon
+pall on them. They might not remain attached to each other any longer
+than the animals who, in the majority of species, part as soon as they
+have fulfilled their biological mission.
+
+A perfectly normal couple might die of boredom. What makes animals,
+when they have not been slightly perverted by contact with human
+beings, so uninteresting, is their absolute normality.
+
+A very slight touch of "perversion" in at least one of the mates, seems
+necessary if the novelty of the relationship is not to wear off too
+soon. Maybe I should not say perversion, but perverseness.
+
+The normal husband who would die rather than hurt his life mate cannot
+compete with the romantic, lover, a little mysterious, unreliable,
+suspected of flirting with other women, who "keeps a woman guessing,"
+pretends at times to be indifferent and has to be won over and over
+again.
+
+The normal husband whose affection is taken for granted and who always
+says the proper thing at the proper time, remembers all anniversaries
+and celebrates them officially, pales in comparison with a tender,
+masochistic lover, whom every unkind gesture seems to wound deeply,
+whose affection is tinged with a melancholy longing, who treasures
+little sentimental memories which his earnestness makes at times rather
+poignant.
+
+=The Sadistic Lover= carries a woman off her feet by the daredevil
+things he may indulge in when away from her. The masochist touches
+deeply the motherly chord in her by the acts of kindness and devotion
+he may perform for others, by his charitable or professional activities.
+
+=The Vamp.= How much the world, especially the world of art, owes
+to the slightly sadistic, "vampish" woman, who, if she is endowed
+with much physical beauty sets, a little cruelly, all the males
+competing for her favors. How many flaming poems of passion, what
+priceless canvasses, statutes and monuments has she conjured up out of
+her admirers' minds. Even the perverse female beasts of the Italian
+Renaissance made love infinitely romantic.
+
+On the other hand, what worshipful tenderness meets even the memory
+of the patient Aude who silently closed her eyes and died when Roland
+was brought home dead, of Solvejg, waiting with saintly resignation
+for the return of the rover Peer Gynt. Of course the sadistic braggart
+earns much hatred and the whimpering masochistic male much scorn. The
+sadistic vamp gets shot by jealous lovers and the clinging masochistic
+vine is called a pest. To the lovers who are not unbearably normal
+and whose slight pituitary instability causes them to do and say the
+unexpected, love owes its poetry, the love life its charm and its
+inspirational power.
+
+All other things being equal, when a slightly sadistic male, seeking
+as his mate the image of a pliant mother, meets a slightly masochistic
+female who seeks the image of the powerful, domineering father, there
+are many chances that the match will, for a long period of time, retain
+its original qualities.
+
+The sadistic female, on the other hand soon emasculates the masochistic
+male. Sadistic mates and masochistic mates land in the divorce court,
+the former throwing at each other charges of cruelty, the latter, for
+unfaithfulness of one or both mates, who seek in adultery relief from
+the monotony of their too peaceful existence.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XXII
+
+                        LOVE AMONG THE ARTISTS
+
+
+Frequent are the divorces in the artistic world. Platitudinous
+moralisers explain that fact with the stupid statement that the morals
+of the stage are "loose." Like the Freudians, they always seek in sex
+the origin of every disturbance in human life.
+
+Sex in the life of an artist, however, plays an infinitely less
+important part than egotism, the desire to be above.
+
+The so-called normal man, who works, eats, sleeps, reproduces himself,
+and, at his death leaves the world exactly as he found it is probably
+subnormal.
+
+He differs very little from the animals who do exactly the same things
+in the same way and seem perfectly pleased with the endless repetition
+of an immutable life ritual.
+
+=Dissatisfaction= is really the element which we must consider when
+we try to draw a line of cleavage between men and the animals.
+Dissatisfaction breeds either neurosis or creation.
+
+The dissatisfied person, devoid of intellectual resources, either
+commits a crime or kills himself or goes off into another world thru
+the door that leads into insanity.
+
+The dissatisfied person gifted with powers of self-expression, makes
+the world in which he lives better, more beautiful or more comfortable.
+That sort of achievement presupposes a certain amount of healthy
+sadism, the courage to criticise, to offer suggestions, to force the
+products of one's mind upon the community, to say "look at me, I am
+perfect or, at least, better than you."
+
+Every budding actor assumes unconsciously that he can delineate a rôle
+better than the other histrionic lights of his time; every new novelist
+must assume that he can tell a story more attractively than his readers
+could picture it to themselves, etc., etc.
+
+The artist who is willing to yield, soon relapses into the ranks of
+the business men. Whoever panders to the popular taste of his time
+may derive therefrom financial advantages but very little egotistical
+gratification.
+
+The real artist must know that he is right and must not be, therefore,
+soft clay to be moulded by any one else's desires.
+
+How then could the artist obtain lasting happiness from any form of
+love relationship?
+
+=The Male Artist=, if married to a submissive, masochistic wife, may
+live happily with her for a time. Egotists, male or female, however,
+need flattery. Familiarity breeds contempt. Flattery must come from a
+constantly changing source or lose its power, as drugs do when we grow
+accustomed to them.
+
+Flattery coming from a pretty woman whose attraction has not been
+weakened by daily contact will soon lead the artist husband into
+forbidden paths. Unless endowed with the wisdom of the musician's wife
+in "The Concert," his wife will soon be granted a divorce on the ground
+of his too obvious infidelity.
+
+Woe to the male artist who takes unto himself a female artist for his
+wife. As I said in the preceding chapter, sadist plus sadist equals
+divorce suit for cruelty alleged by both parties. In this type of
+matrimonial castastrophy, the fault lies more frequently with the wife
+than with the husband.
+
+=Female Artists= are more unbearable than male artists. They are more
+touchy, more easily offended and angered, more apt to suspect the
+people in their environment of harboring veiled hostility. The reason
+for that state of things is not far to seek.
+
+Women require infinitely more flattery than men do. Not that a craving
+for attention is by any means a typically feminine trait. That craving
+has been forced upon them by the masculine domination.
+
+We have made woman inferior to man politically, socially, economically,
+we have, as Adler would word it, put her "below." Until we allow her
+to rise to man's level, she will never feel safe and will constantly
+require assurances of her superiority, at least, from the men who fancy
+her looks and enjoy her company.
+
+=The Woman Who Accomplishes Things= in this world, who, in spite
+of woman's handicap in her dealings with the world, wins recognition
+as a painter, sculptor, writer, singer, etc., feels, and justly so,
+that she deserves more credit for her accomplishment than a man
+would. Winning power in a man's world is for the woman who reaches
+that aim ethically, that is, without bartering her sexual favors for
+success, as difficult as it would be for a Jew to arrive in a bigoted
+Christian community, for a negro to establish his prestige in a white
+anglo-saxon environment.
+
+Having reached the top after much fighting, she never feels as secure
+as a man would under similar circumstances. Her ego is steadily on the
+defensive and whatever interferes with her ego maximation appears to
+her dangerous and hateful.
+
+The female artist who marries a male artist will soon become jealous
+of him. Every bit of publicity he receives is something which he has
+stolen from her, which he should, she thinks, if he loved her enough,
+have renounced in her favor.
+
+The female artist who marries a man incapable of artistic achievement,
+may be violently attracted to him sexually. Her egotism, on the other
+hand, prompts her to disparage him and to scorn his judgment of
+her. However much he may admire her, his praise lacks weight in her
+estimation. He is not a member of the enchanted circle.
+
+A word from "one in the know", insignificant as he may be, will bring a
+smile to her lips, a flash of pleasure in her eyes, which will cut her
+mate to the quick. I have observed many a time an angry tension in the
+face of the business husband of some actress or singer when she would
+visibly gloat over the not too disinterested praise of some trashy
+professional.
+
+=Flattery.= The artist is at the mercy of the flattery lavished on
+him or her by a fellow artist and absolutely blind to the flatterer's
+ulterior motives. A great musician who died recently was an easy victim
+to every budding musician who would sycophantically sing his praises.
+The mere statement "if I could ever hope to sing a few notes like you"
+enabled any young exploiter who could approach him to negotiate a
+"loan."
+
+For the reasons I have mentioned in the preceding pages, the woman
+artist is even more easily victimised, financially or sentimentally
+than the male artist.
+
+Sexual jealousy wrecks the unions of artists with non-professional
+mates. Sexual jealousy and professional jealousy make the union of two
+artists a very problematical expedient for the attainment of happiness.
+
+Fortunately, very few heartbreaks result from the steady grinding of
+the divorce mills in concert land, opera land or stageland.
+
+The egotistical artist loves himself more than he could ever love
+any other human being. Separation from his life mate does not mean
+loneliness to him. He remains in his own company, to his mind, the best
+company on earth. And furthermore his egotism tells him, and rightly so
+in the majority of cases, that being as wonderful as he is, he cannot
+fail to meet soon "the great love" of his life. And he will probably
+embark upon another experiment with the same optimism and with the same
+results.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XXIII
+
+              THE PERSONALITY BEHIND THE FETISHES. GLANDS
+
+
+A man selects a mate because he finds in her fetishes the assurance
+of safety which those fetishes portended when observed in the
+appearance of his affectionate, devoted, self-sacrificing mother, whose
+intelligence and wisdom he never doubted when he was, let us say, ten
+or fifteen and she was thirty or thirty-five.
+
+And likewise, a woman expects, consciously or unconsciously, that
+certain physical characteristics which once indicated, when observed
+in her father's appearance, power, protection, a gainful occupation,
+sympathy and understanding, etc., will mean exactly the same thing when
+she finds them reproduced totally or in part in a male human being of
+the marriageable age.
+
+=The Parent-Child Relationship=, involving at first boundless devotion
+on the part of the strong parent to the helpless nursling, infant
+and child, and later, complete submission of the growing child and
+adolescent to the older and, supposedly world-wiser, parent, has very
+little, if anything, in common with the relationship of mate to mate.
+
+Sex plays no conscious part in the parent-child relationship.
+
+It does not tinge every action and every thought of the two parties
+concerned. The secret cravings or the secret repulsion it may
+awaken never distort consciously the judgments passed by parents on
+their children, children on their parents. Of neurotic unconscious
+distortions of judgment there is a plenty. Never, however, does the
+strife narrow down to this: "He or she does not satisfy me sexually,"
+"he or she humiliates me sexually by being attracted to others," "he or
+she is an obstacle to my complete sexual gratification with another,"
+etc., sources of open hostility of the most painfully conscious kind
+between mates.
+
+The mother who satisfied our egotism became to us beautiful and
+perfect. The female who employs the same means our mother did, to
+win us, but who cannot arouse us sexually, never appears to us very
+attractive physically or mentally.
+
+On the other hand we are apt to disregard, temporarily at least, the
+mental deficiencies of the man or woman who gives us the most complete
+sexual gratification.
+
+From this it will be easily understood that choosing a mate _solely_ on
+the strength of his or her fetishes, is likely, unless the union be of
+the most ephemeral kind, to lead to profound disappointment.
+
+It behooves us then to determine accurately what every fetish means
+and what sort of personality is actually to be found associated with a
+certain set of physical characteristics.
+
+For I repeat, a man's or woman's personality is to be studied, not
+in their attitude to their offspring, (for the most savage beast is
+transformed by the paternal or maternal instinct into a marvel of
+tenderness, kindness and patience), but in their relation to the social
+herd and to their sexual mate.
+
+Until the study of the ductless glands was given the importance we
+attach to it today, the word personality denoted a set of attitudes
+which many psychologists considered as mainly voluntary and amenable
+to "moral suasion" and other forms of pedagogical approach of the
+individual. When we read the works of Freud, Jung, Adler, Ferenczi and
+their disciples, we never receive an intimation of the rôle which the
+endocrines may play in moulding the human personality.
+
+=Modern Endocrinologists= on the other hand, seem as indifferent
+to psychology as the psychoanalysts of yesterday were to neurology and
+endocrinology. Some of them assume that the personality IS the glands
+and that our glands alone shape our thinking and our actions.
+
+Both views are narrow and unsatisfactory. The personality is made up
+primarily of an _organism_ which outward influences can or cannot
+influence easily. Pleasure and pain then shape that organism thru
+the memories which they leave in it in the form of infinitely small
+modifications of our autonomic nervous system. That system, in its
+turn, develops, thru constant stimulation, certain glands or allows
+them to remain undeveloped thru lack of stimulation or thru negative
+stimulation.
+
+Some of those glands may, thru mere accident of growth, have been
+already overdeveloped or stunted at birth. Individuals free from
+complexes, however, may easily reestablish the balance of cravings
+and social inhibitions which threatens at times to be upset by an
+overdeveloped or underdeveloped gland. Complex-ridden individuals on
+the other hand, use their glandular inferiority unconsciously as a
+scapegoat for absurd or morbid behavior.
+
+=Reciprocal Influence.= We cannot say, therefore, that our behavior
+is _dictated_ by our glands, but it is influenced by them and
+reciprocally, our behavior influences our glands. As I said in a
+previous chapter, hyperthyroidism creates fear, but fear may also
+create hyperthyroidism. Overdevelopment of the sexual apparatus creates
+a predisposition to sexual overactivity, but sexual thoughts also have
+a tendency to provoke unusual sexual activity.
+
+There is one thing, however, for which the secretions of our ductless
+glands are mainly responsible, and which is most important to consider
+in a study of fetishes. They determine the shape, color and consistency
+of many parts of our body, such as complexion, hair, teeth, skeletal
+frame and growth.
+
+A glance at a human body enables one to determine as accurately as an
+autopsy would, the size of a person's thyroid, adrenals, etc.
+
+As the development of those glands corresponds to the social and sexual
+behavior of the individual, a review of the various bodily fetishes
+from the endocrinological point of view will be helpful to the average
+reader.
+
+In order not to use too many technical terms we shall consider only
+four of the endocrine glands, the pituitary, the thyroid, the adrenals
+and the gonads.
+
+=The Pituitary Gland= is a small body, the size of a pea, located
+in the Turkish saddle (sella turcica), at the base of the brain and
+closely behind the root of the nose. Some have called it a brain within
+the brain with a miniature skull of its own within the skull.
+
+The pituitary regulates the rhythms of the body, from the bony growth
+of the skeleton to the rate of the heart and respiration, from the
+periods of sleep and waking time to the periods of menstruation.
+
+If a part of the pituitary of a dog is removed, the animal becomes
+sleepy, fat, perverse in its sex cravings; puppies cease to grow when
+submitted to such an operation; autopsy of many human dwarfs has
+shown that their pituitary was undeveloped. People whose pituitary is
+insufficient in its action have a tendency to lose their hair, have
+a very dry skin, a dull mentality, sometimes suffer from epilepsy
+and crave sugar in large quantities. They are generally obese, the
+fat accumulating on the lower abdomen and the feet and ankles. Louis
+Berman in his excellent book on the endocrines "Glands regulating the
+Personality," presents as a perfect likeness of the "hypopituitary
+type" the Fat Boy of the Pickwick Papers whose emloyment with Mr.
+Wardle consisted in alternate sleeping and eating.
+
+I will quote from Berman's book a description of the opposite type, the
+individual in whom the pituitary gland is too active.
+
+"If the overaction begins in childhood or adolescence, that is, before
+puberty, there results a great elongation of the bones, so that a giant
+is the consequence.... If the overaction happens after puberty, when
+the long bones have set and can not grow longer, a peculiar, diffuse
+enlargement of the individual occurs, especially of his hands and feet
+and head. The nose, ears, lips and eyes get larger and coarser. All
+those people are rather big and tall to begin with, heavy jawed, burly,
+with overhanging eyebrows and an aggressive manner. Rabelais' most
+famous character, Gargantua, belongs to the group. We recruit more drum
+majors than prime ministers from among those people."
+
+The pituitary has a strong influence on sexual activities. Young
+animals whose pituitary has been surgically damaged will not be able to
+reproduce themselves when reaching adulthood. Feeding pituitary glands
+to hens on the other hand, causes them to lay thirty per cent more eggs
+than they would naturally.
+
+=The Thyroid= is a transformer of energy. It is a large reddish
+mass located in front and on both sides of the trachea, consisting of
+two lobes connected by a bridge of the same tissue.
+
+The thyroid activates the fires of the body. An active thyroid means
+life at "concert pitch." A sluggish thyroid means a slow, negative
+existence.
+
+To a poor thyroid correspond a pasty complexion, watery eyes with heavy
+lids, a depressed pug nose, large ears, thin hair, scanty eyebrows and
+eyelashes, short, brittle nails, irregular, bad teeth, broad, pudgy
+hands and feet, generally cold.
+
+With an overactive thyroid we observe a high color, sleeplessness,
+restlessness, a tendency to lose weight, emotionalism, profuse
+perspiration, bright, large eyes, good white teeth.
+
+=The Adrenal Glands= are about the size of a bean and located on top of
+the kidneys. They secrete adrenin which, when poured into the blood,
+causes muscular tension, accelerates the heart beats and the breathing
+rate, dilates the pupil and produces fear or anger according to the
+relative size of the core (medulla) or envelop (cortex) of the adrenals.
+
+In timid animals (and women) the cortex is thin, in courageous animals
+(and men) the cortex is rather thick. According to the thickness of
+your cortex you shall, in an emergency, resort to either fight or
+flight.
+
+A man with a thin cortex looks feminine, a woman with a thick cortex
+looks mannish.
+
+The adrenals control the color of the skin, the growth of hair, the
+size of the canine teeth and the color of the teeth. To good adrenals
+correspond an olive complexion, much hair on the body, rather yellowish
+teeth and strong canines. The bearded lady of the circus is a woman
+with overdeveloped adrenals and a thick cortex.
+
+Weak adrenals go with cold extremities, a hairless body, poor canines,
+lack of ambition, discouragement, fatigability, etc.
+
+=The Gonads or Sex Glands=, testes in man, ovaries in woman,
+affect thru the secretions of their interstitial cells, the pitch of
+the voice, the growth of pubic hair, the size of the breasts, the
+distribution of fat.
+
+Good gonads mean masculine looking men and feminine looking women.
+Poor gonads mean feminine looking men, hairless and with overdeveloped
+breasts, talking in a high-pitched voice, with a tendency to obesity
+and laziness (eunuchs); scrawny looking women who may later in
+life grow abnormally fat, with, in their youth, flat chests, scanty
+menstruation, etc.
+
+Healthy gonads also retard senility. Gonads whose interstitial cells
+have been rehabilitated by the Steinach operation bring a new youth to
+the organism, mentally and physically.
+
+Other glands, the thymus, pancreas, parathyroid, pineal body also
+play an important part in shaping the human body and with it the
+personality. The limits of this book do not allow me, however, to
+discuss them even superficially.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XXIV
+
+                        GLANDULAR PERSONALITIES
+
+
+I stated in the preceding chapter that to every degree of glandular
+development there corresponds a certain set of physical characteristics
+which, in the love life, may be transformed into fetishes, (beautiful
+features, laymen call them), which are necessary to arouse sexual
+desire in one's mate, but which are not necessarily attractive to any
+one else.
+
+Those physical characteristics are, in turn, the tangible evidence of
+the presence of certain mental attitudes and predispositions.
+
+Individuals seeking in the love union, not merely a passing
+gratification of their erotism, but a lifelong arrangement, gratifying
+both the physical and the mental aspects of the organism, should be
+trained to recognise the presence or absence of characteristics which
+would make such an arrangement a lasting pleasure or a lasting torture.
+
+For instance, the woman who falls in love with a man because her
+fetishism requires a short, round, plump, man, with a good head of
+hair but hairless limbs, must not expect him to ever grow into a
+fighter, a good provider or even a companion of placid moods.
+
+A man of that type is capricious, unstable, unresisting, and prefers
+the gentler arts to any form of competitive struggle.
+
+Likewise a man who picks out a woman for his mate because she has
+pretty, doll-like features, is "cute" and slight, has a soft skin,
+white and pink, must not expect to live peacefully with her on a farm,
+or even on Main Street or in a distant suburb.
+
+That type of woman grows easily emotional, is constantly in search of
+new excitement and new pleasures. It is only at forty that she will
+become more settled (and rotund), retaining, however, a certain jollity
+of disposition.
+
+=The Olive Skinned Dark Haired Type=, and the freckled, red haired
+are very much alike. Both have a low forehead, hair is plentiful all
+over the body, thick and coarse. Their canines are long and sharp.
+
+Men and women of that type are good fighters, more easily angered
+than scared; they are generally successful, with a tendency to
+slave-driving. In the face of great difficulties, of painful
+disappointment, however, they are prone to turn embittered and cranky.
+
+People of this type who show large birth marks are likely to be
+imbalanced and irritable. They may at times give the impression of
+being weak and lazy, altho their minds may be extremely active.
+
+=The Tall Type=, with strong frame, firm muscles, generous hands and
+feet, a thick skin, oval face, head flattened at the sides, thick
+eyebrows, prominent eyes, placed rather wide apart, large nose, square
+chin, large upper middle incisors, heavy joints, hairy legs and arms,
+is characterised by intelligence and self-control. At times that type
+has a tendency to be a little calculating if not sordid.
+
+=The Lean Type= with clean-cut features, thick hair, thick, long
+eyebrows, big, keen eyes, sometimes slightly protruding, well developed
+white teeth and a very masculine or very feminine mouth, according
+to sex, is active, restless, a live wire, emotional and likely to be
+easily prostrated by an unexpected defeat. Men and women of that type
+have a tendency to be sleepless and to do too much planning at night
+instead of resting peacefully.
+
+=The Short, Obese, Sallow Type=, with a high forehead, scanty eyebrows,
+deep set, narrow eyes, irregular teeth that decay early, with poor
+circulation, cold and blue hands and feet, is rather "animal" and lacks
+self-control.
+
+=The Slender Type=, with narrow waist line, rounded limbs, long
+chest, (which in women may carry poorly developed breasts), very white,
+hairless skin, delicate features, silky hair, childish teeth, flat
+feet, knock-knees, may be at times very brilliant, but is generally
+queer, eccentric, irresponsible, perverse, dishonest. That type is
+observed in many petty thieves, prostitutes, drug addicts, suicides.
+
+Those are the most striking physical types. They present hundreds of
+shadings and combinations.
+
+=Environment.= The last mentioned type, if reared and kept in a
+comfortable environment, among people of slightly lax behavior, of
+artistic inclinations, exposed to none of life's onslaughts, may do
+very well, and be considered by his associates as sensitive, gentle and
+likeable. It is the pressure of social and economic conditions which
+cause him to seek safety in theft (quick acquisition of wealth), drug
+stupor, (escape from reality, perversion, escape from biological duties
+connected with a normal sex life), or suicide, (return to the fetal
+stage and escape from life).
+
+Those people are children who can only thrive in the nursery.
+
+Even as infant mortality depends solely upon the family income, the
+death rate being five times as high in poor as in wealthy families, the
+stability and social charm of almost any glandular type depends upon
+the social pressure that type has to bear.
+
+Almost any type is bearable, if not lovable, in a comfortable
+environment requiring little planning and no fighting.
+
+One of the details of the social pressure is, of course, the attempts
+at repression or modification to which a personality may be subjected
+by the life mate. The fault lies in this case, not so much with the
+type in itself, however inferior it may be, as with the incurable
+optimist who attempts the impossible task of changing a human
+personality.
+
+In other words, it might be said, that in an environment which exerts
+no pressure on the individual, that is, where there is abundance of
+wealth and comfort, one can select a mate with bad fetishes, that is,
+indicative of weakness, while those less favored financially must lay
+greater stress on fetishes denoting strength and fighting ability.
+
+=What Teeth Indicate.= Fraenkel and Kaplan have pointed to the teeth as
+indicators of the general glandular condition of the individual and of
+his probable mental and physical powers. Good middle incisors indicate
+good thyroid and pituitary, hence strength and balance.
+
+Good lateral incisors indicate sexual power; good canines indicate
+strong adrenals, hence good fighting ability.
+
+Lack of any of those teeth, or their stunted growth, gives naturally,
+the contrary indication as to make up and character.
+
+One must not forget either that certain fetishes are superficial and
+likely to disappear early in life. Blondes may turn into brunettes;
+sveltness may yield to invading obesity, altho this last change is to
+be blamed more on the individual's stupidity than upon his glandular
+condition; a white skin may become yellow, etc.
+
+Preference should, therefore, be given, when in doubt, to more durable
+fetishes, stature, strength, general appearance, attitude, which are
+less likely to change with the years.
+
+=Matrimonial Engineers.= Here is a new field for educators; there
+may grow from this very new knowledge a new profession, that of the
+matrimonial engineer, who will diagnose the chances of happiness two
+human beings may have, if they decide to associate their destinies.
+
+Much has to be studied and experimented upon before any one can
+consider himself qualified to pass final judgments upon the decisions
+to which love leads couples.
+
+"However" as Berman writes, "the fact remains that, though we are only
+upon the first rungs of the ladder, we are on the ladder. We possess a
+new way of looking upon humanity, a fresh transforming light upon these
+strange phenomena, ourselves. Of the ugly achievements of that dreadful
+century, the nineteenth, the most illuminating was the discovery of
+itself as the ape-parvenu. Yes, we are all animals now, it said to
+itself, and set its teeth in the cut-throat game of survival. But there
+was no understanding in that evil motto of a disillusioned heart. The
+ape-parvenu, desperately lonely and secretive, has still to understand
+itself....
+
+"Personality embraces much more than merely the psychic attributes. It
+is not the least important of the lessons of endocrine analysis that
+here is no soul, and no body either. Rather a soul-body or body-soul,
+or the patterns of the living flame. The closer tracking of the
+internal secretions leads us into the secrets of the living flame, why
+it lives and how it lives, the strange diversities of its coloring and
+music and the odd variations in its energy, vitality and longevity.
+Why it flickers, why it flares and glares, spurts, flutters, burns hard
+or soft, orange-blue or yellow."
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XXV
+
+                         LOVE AND MOTHER LOVE
+
+
+Is the perfect mother a perfect wife? Is the perfect mother, in every
+case, the result of mental perfection and ethical superiority? Or is
+there a hidden strife between love and motherhood? Is mother love
+always the enchanting image presented to us by poets and intimidated
+sons? Or is it an alloy of higher qualities, biological necessity and
+egotistical neurotic cravings?
+
+I do not intend to settle all those problems within the limits of a
+short chapter, but rather to point out some of the morbid components of
+mother love which a psychoanalyst detects in his women patients, and
+which, exaggerated in the neurotic, exist to a slight degree in every
+woman.
+
+=Sex Cravings and Motherhood Cravings= are so closely related that few
+psychologists have ever dreamt of dissociating them for the purpose of
+study. The average moralist, who prefers cheap popularity to scientific
+accuracy, excuses the existence of sex cravings only on one condition,
+that they become absolutely subservient to motherhood cravings.
+
+The birth control agitation which is making such rapid headway at the
+present day, on the other hand, means, in part, that while motherhood
+may be the consequence of unregulated sex activities, it is not, for
+all women, their conscious motive.
+
+Why is it that some women with an erotic disposition and a voluptuous
+physique, fear pregnancy while other women, apparently indifferent to
+men, crave motherhood?
+
+Physiology does not give us a very satisfactory answer to this
+question. Endocrinologists tell us that sex cravings are determined
+by the ovaries and motherhood cravings by the posterior part of the
+pituitary gland, but this leaves us exactly where we were when we
+started out.
+
+=Pregnancy and Health.= All physiologists will agree with the statement
+that in a normal, complex free woman, a type which unfortunately,
+the complexity of our civilization does not allow us to behold very
+frequently, pregnancy is accompanied by an unusual activity of all
+the organism, imparting to the female a sense of great power and,
+consequently, of well-being, mental and physical. The adrenals work
+at high pressure to produce the muscular tone necessary in gestation.
+The thyroid is called upon to transform more and more of the electric
+current produced by the brain cells. New glands of a temporary nature
+develop in the woman's body, regulating her life functions more
+accurately and imparting to her a feeling of dreamy happiness and
+relaxation.
+
+After delivery, another part of her body enters into activity, her
+mammary glands, so closely related to the genitals that any stimulation
+of either region finds a strong echo in the other. Many are the women
+in whom lactation produces intensely erotic feelings affording them at
+times full gratification.
+
+=Fear of Pregnancy.= Unfortunately, civilisation has surrounded
+motherhood with so many complications, social, ethical, financial,
+sentimental, etc., that in very few women, indeed, is that biological
+process an unmixed pleasure, dissociated from all pain and anxiety.
+
+Vomiting, which expresses the female's disgust for her condition, or
+her mate or the offspring; cramplike tensions, expressing her worries
+about her appearance, her anxious thought of financial or social
+consequences; anxiety states, affecting the adrenals, which discolor
+her face (pregnancy mask), make pregnancy hideous in many cases.
+
+Even the process of parturition seems to have become more painful and
+dangerous with advancing civilisation.
+
+Any one who has seen, for instance, Mexican women barely interrupting
+their labor in the fields to give birth to a child, and resuming their
+tasks an hour later, must realise that autosuggestion has much to do
+with the physical disability of the civilised woman in child bed.
+
+In spite of the complexities of modern life, the female organism which
+is not affected by fear complexes, must expect a pleasure premium from
+pregnancy, lactation and other duties of motherhood. This would supply
+us with an organic basis for the mother's attachment to her offspring
+which is observable almost in every animal species.
+
+That a number of women may be found who hate their children owing to
+the suffering to which unwelcome motherhood and difficult parturition
+have subjected them, is easily understandable. In fact we face a
+vicious circle. The unwelcome pregnancy will be an unpleasant one,
+followed almost unavoidably by painful delivery, etc.
+
+=When Mother Love is Lacking= or when a mother hates a very young
+child, the psychologist must look for morbid unconscious influences
+which analysis should remove as soon as possible.
+
+Stekel, the Viennese analyst, tells of a woman who was very fond of
+three of her daughters but, for some mysterious reason, detested the
+fourth one. Analysis revealed that she imagined she saw every one of
+her husband's faults reproduced and magnified in the unfortunate child.
+
+She also imagined that she loved her husband very deeply.
+
+The year when the unloved child was conceived, however, she had fallen
+in love with another man, a young poet. She remained "technically
+faithful" to her husband, altho, when in his arms, it was always the
+poet to whom she was giving herself.
+
+She hoped sentimentally that the forthcoming child would look like
+her platonic lover but the little girl reproduced with striking
+faithfulness her father's features.
+
+Unwilling to accept her dislike of her husband, the romantic mother had
+transferred it to the child who served as a scapegoat in various ways.
+
+=Frigid Wives.= We often observe a great craving for motherhood in
+frigid wives.
+
+Let us not rehash on this occasion the poetical and silly statement
+that the frigid woman is one whose love has been spiritualised and can
+only find an outlet thru her children.
+
+The frigid woman is a cripple or a neurotic. Either she was born with
+poorly developed genitals or she was made abnormal by the unconscious
+fear of yielding to man's domination, or by a morbid sense of sin due
+to asceticism, or by painful or humiliating sex experiences before or
+after marriage.
+
+Her craving for motherhood is not infrequently the hypocritical
+expression of her desire for intercourse, which her puritan training
+would otherwise make lewd and sinful. It is, at times, a desire for
+the superiority which age and bodily size will give her over infants,
+helpless and inarticulate.
+
+This is why, in a good many cases, a perfect mother makes a detestable
+wife. Unable to dominate her husband she craves children whom she can
+dominate with a minimum of bodily strength and mental effort, and she
+devotes all her time and care to them.
+
+When the children grow up and develop independent personalities, the
+neurotic mother often loses her interest in them. How many times have
+we heard women (and men) remark that children should remain "babies,"
+that young children are far more lovable than adolescents, etc.
+
+=Mother and Father Love= differ in several respects.
+
+Fathers look upon their children, especially their sons, as a visible
+proof of their virile power. In their sons they see their own image,
+the more attractive to them as they are more egotistical.
+
+The weak, infirm or unsuccessful son, however, receives little love at
+the hands of his father. He is not a credit to his progenitor.
+
+No mother, on the other hand, seems to neglect a cripple or idiotic
+child. Be it male or female, it is a human being which she can dominate
+easily. The more neurotic she is, the more she will idolise the
+ill-favored child.
+
+=Mothers Always Adore Their Sons=, young and old, for they behold
+in them males whom they can easily dominate.
+
+And fathers love their daughters, young or old, for similar reasons.
+
+The relations of aging mothers and growing daughters, however, are
+almost invariably tinged with a certain hostility, overt or concealed,
+according to the women's habits, training, manners, etc.
+
+=Girls at the Flapper Stage= who resent the attraction which their
+mothers still wield over younger men, constantly remind them of their
+age and bid them to behave in a way more in keeping with their mature
+years.
+
+The flapper's mother on the other hand, who sees her daughter gradually
+monopolising the attention of men callers, reminds the girl with
+monotonous regularity that she is only a child and bids her to behave
+as befits her tender years.
+
+The mother resents her daughter's fresh beauty, the daughter, her
+mother's experience in dealing with males.
+
+Both watch each other closely, protecting each other's modesty and
+virtue and trying to make each other's life as uninteresting and
+uneventful as possible.
+
+The girl becomes an ethical critic on her mother's smoking or gowns.
+The mother blossoms into a puritan who allows her daughter no freedom
+and seems to have entirely forgotten her own girlhood years.
+
+The strife lasts until the daughter is old enough to have her own
+circle of friends and no longer needs a chaperone. After which mother
+and daughter, if matched intellectually, may once more become friends.
+
+=Repressed Hatred.= I have treated a number of neurotic mothers who
+seemed to be obsessed by their adoration of their children. That
+exaggerated tenderness was, as I mentioned in another chapter, a cover
+for death wishes directed toward those children.
+
+Some never allowed knives to be left in evidence in the house, some did
+not dare to carry their children in their arms on the stairs, while
+boarding trains, or while near open windows.
+
+One never dared to administer a medicine to her little girl "for fear
+of making a mistake and poisoning her." One did not dare to bathe her
+child for fear of drowning him "accidentally" in the tub.
+
+Neurotic women who do not wish to become mothers and rebel against
+motherhood, (which some of them consider as a symbol of woman's
+inferior role), often compensate for their lack of love by an almost
+criminal indulgence and weakness toward their children.
+
+Unable to give them genuine love, they pretend to idolise them and are
+apparently unable to deny any of their wishes. This, in last analysis,
+is simply a total indifference to the little ones' welfare. That type
+of mother spoils her children and makes them unfit to face life and its
+emergencies.
+
+Her extravagant adulation, her outbursts of artificial tenderness,
+however, do not always deceive the children themselves who feel
+automatically, thru nervous and muscular imitation, the tensions of
+their mother's body. The little son of the woman who was obsessed
+by the fear of drowning him (and who compensated for her murderous
+cravings by showering the wildest caresses upon him), could not be
+prevailed upon to ever go near the water until her obsessions, of
+which, he, of course, had no conscious knowledge, had been removed by
+psychoanalytic treatment.
+
+Neurotic mother love trains children for a neurotic life.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XXVI
+
+                    SHOULD WINTER MATE WITH SPRING?
+
+
+This is the poetical way in which many newspaper editors have been
+introducing to their readers accounts of two recent incidents which,
+at the time of writing (this chapter), keep headline writers busy. One
+of the news items is the idyll of an heiress, still in her teens, who
+has made up her mind to marry a man of fifty or thereabout. The other
+is the heartbreak of a seventy year old husband, deserted by his twenty
+year old wife.
+
+The mating of winter and spring is a daily occurrence, both seasons
+being divided up about equally between the two sexes. The two unnatural
+matches which I mentioned above, however, stand in a class by
+themselves.
+
+Many a young idler, gifted with good looks, has managed to play on
+the erotic feelings of some woman in her dotage and to annex a goodly
+portion of her wealth. Many an attractive girl, seeking the line of
+least effort, has been known to prefer a union with a silly old man to
+the daily struggle for existence.
+
+=Disinterested Brides.= In the two cases under discussion, on the other
+hand, no suspicion of sordidness could be cast on the bride-that-was or
+on the bride-to-be.
+
+Both are wealthy, one of them immensely so. The bridegroom to be is, if
+not a poor man, at least in very modest circumstances.
+
+A genuine love match in both cases. But the genuineness of love did
+not prevent a catastrophe in one case and will probably bring about a
+catastrophe in the other case as well.
+
+In both cases, the men are probably normal and yielding to the very
+natural attraction of youth combined with beauty and refinement.
+
+Both women, however, are abnormal, altho one of them, the runaway wife,
+may have regained her normality and awakened from her absurd dream.
+
+Both are, or were, the victims of a fixation of the most acute type, on
+the father image indicating a morbid neurotic disposition.
+
+Such unions can hardly ever hold out any promise of lasting happiness.
+
+=The Case of Wagner.= There is, of course, the famous example of Wagner
+who, at fifty-seven carried off the beautiful wife of Hans von Bülow,
+almost thirty years his junior, and lived happily with her until his
+death. But Wagner was at the time a marvelous example of physical and
+mental activity, energy and creative power. In no way, barring his
+facial appearance, could he suggest age or decay to his young wife. He
+remained to the last a romantic figure.
+
+The glamor, however, which may surround a successful composer with a
+picturesque past, is not likely to dazzle in any way the bride of a
+riding master or of a New England manufacturer.
+
+=A Parent Fixation=, as I explained in the chapters on the Family
+Romance and on Incest, is the more acute as it drives its victim to
+seek a closer duplicate of the parent type.
+
+The man who seeks a woman for his mate because his mother was a woman
+is influenced by the most normal and biologically valuable of mother
+fixations. The race would come to an end but for that form of fixation.
+
+The son of a blonde mother who cannot love a woman unless she is also
+a blonde, is less normal and less free in his choice of a mate than
+the preceding type. He is inhibited by childhood memories, but then,
+education and civilisation are little more than inhibitions caused by
+childhood memories. That type simply marries in "his set" and can lead
+an otherwise very normal life.
+
+He, however, who is irresistibly attracted by a woman exactly like his
+mother, not only as far as appearance, but also as far as age goes,
+is a childish, regressive neurotic, seeking the safety of childhood
+conditions and obsessed at times by unconscious incestuous cravings.
+
+=The Rock of Physical Incompatibility= is often one on which such
+adventures are shipwrecked. A very young woman, ignorant of the sex
+life and its problems, unable to realise its meaning before marriage,
+may develop immediately after her union to an elderly man a very
+passionate temperament.
+
+Either she will repress her cravings for physical love, which her too
+mature mate is unable to gratify, and she will develop anxiety states
+or hysteria.
+
+Or she will be too healthy to repress her desires, and her
+disappointment may change her love into scorn, especially when
+conversation with other women or a clever suitor opens her eyes to what
+is lacking in her life.
+
+A separation, sometimes complicated by the usual triangle situation,
+may become unavoidable.
+
+There are cases in which both mates are frankly neurotic and were drawn
+together as invalids and weak-minded often are, by the similarity of
+their predicament.
+
+=The Plight of Two Neurotics.= Both of them may, as I observed it
+once, seek safety in a mock-incestuous relationship, the older mate,
+seeking safety in a union with an immature human being, the younger
+mate in a union with the parent image. In one case which I have in
+mind, the husband, fifty-five years old, had been several times on the
+verge of exposure for unlawful "liberties" he took with very young
+girls. The wife, a few days after her father's death, married the old
+man who had been her father's associate and who had tried to seduce her
+when she was barely ten.
+
+She visited me when a new scandal in which her husband became
+implicated caused her to leave him. She was considerably "mixed up"
+for, while young men had begun to attract her, she felt extremely
+self-conscious in their presence and could only enjoy herself in the
+company of elderly men who, in turn, reminded her too much of the
+nightmare thru which she had lived for two years.
+
+A pious Catholic, she solved the conflict prematurely, before I had
+time to bring insight into her mind, by fleeing from all sorts of men
+and into a convent.
+
+Other cases have a less tragic history: A young woman of twenty-eight
+who had never been happy with her husband, (thirty), took advantage of
+the numberless opportunities war work and war drives gave to women, to
+become faithless to her husband. She had four short-lived affairs with
+men twice her age, then "broke down" when her husband secured a divorce
+for adultery. Analysis gave her insight into her father fixation which
+was not very deep and might never have driven her into overt acts but
+for the unusual conditions in which she found herself.
+
+She is now happily remarried to a man of her age.
+
+=What the Community Says.= Mates whose ages are out of proportion,
+are often thrown into deep discord by the pressure of the community's
+criticism. They might thrive on a desert island or on a farm or, as in
+the case of an explorer I knew, when surrounded almost continuously by
+an "inferior" race whose opinion they can easily disregard.
+
+The community's smiles or open disapproval, on the other hand, are a
+heavy burden, especially for the more neurotic mate, who is likely to
+feel very self-conscious in everything he or she does.
+
+The too young wife and the too young husband may at first smile when
+hotel clerks, shopkeepers, chauffeurs, etc., allude to their aged
+mate as "your father" or "your mother." After a while, a feeling
+of embarrassment will get the best of their sense of humor. Shame
+and humiliation will soon set in when those mistakes are repeated
+frequently. When the ego is wounded by love complications, unless the
+individual is a pronounced masochist, love fares very badly.
+
+It turns into hatred for the mate causing the humiliating remarks, as
+unconscious incest ideas gradually break into consciousness and provoke
+protective measures, critical attitudes, disgust, etc.
+
+In one case which came under my observation, the community's criticisms
+worked as effectively as psychoanalytic treatment would have.
+
+=Having Her Fixation-Fling.= A young woman married to a man of her age,
+but discontented and frigid, had a passing liaison with an elderly
+man, which exposed her to many jeers on the part of her associates who
+suspected it.
+
+She was very intelligent and well acquainted with psychoanalytical
+literature and only consulted me to make sure of her correct diagnosis
+of her own case.
+
+She did the proper thing under the circumstances, confessed a part of
+the truth to her husband, went away with him for a while and has been
+happy with him ever since. She had had her "fixation fling" as she
+called it, had sown her neurotic wild oats and ridden herself of a
+morbid element which may never bother her again.
+
+This sort of solution, however, is one which is neither scientific nor
+safe, for the person affected by a fixation of that morbid sort is at
+the mercy of a recurrence of it, should life's problems compel him to
+seek once more the line of exaggerated safety and regression to the
+childish level of conduct.
+
+=Physical Results.= If matches between the young and old were
+successful physically and otherwise, they would be extremely beneficial
+to the older mate. Normal sexual stimulation, far from driving the aged
+to an early grave, as old time puritans have taught us, is probably the
+most potent factor of rejuvenation.
+
+The Steinach operation which enables the hormone-producing cells of the
+gonads to overdevelop at the expense of the seminiferous cells, seems,
+when successful, to confer new youth upon the entire organism.
+
+Lorand, Stekel, Hufeland and others hold that sexual activity in the
+old, when it is possible, is conducive to longevity.
+
+Lorand mentions many interesting cases in which remarriage at
+incredibly advanced ages seemed in no way to curtail one's life span.
+Thomas Parré, who died at 162, was arrested for assault at 102 and
+married again at 120. The Dane Drackenberg, who died at 150, married at
+111 a woman of 60, became a widower at 130, and tried to woo a young
+peasant girl who, however, refused to accept him.
+
+Peter Albrecht, who died at 123, married again at 80 and had seven
+children. Gurgon Duglas, who died at 120, married at 85 and had 8
+children, the youngest one being born when the father was 103. Baron
+Baravicion dès Capelles died at 104, having had four wives, the last
+one whom he married when 80.
+
+Lorand adds that, according to his observations, old people with an
+erotic temperament have a better chance of survival than "cold blooded"
+ones.
+
+Hufeland says that married people live much longer than the unmarried
+and that no bachelor was ever known to reach a ripe age.
+
+The sudden bloom and general appearance of rejuvenation of old maids
+finally finding a mate, of widows who remarry and of neglected wives
+who give themselves to a potent lover, is a good physiological argument
+why winter should try to seek the violent stimulation of a union with
+spring.
+
+=The Fate of the Younger Mate.= The younger mate, however, can
+hardly hope to escape unscathed when going thru such an experience.
+
+The old are benefited because their muscles, nerves, glands, etc.,
+imitate the attitudes and behavior of the younger mate's organs and
+become accordingly younger.
+
+The same process of imitation is at work in the younger mate and the
+damage done to him or her is naturally great, altho not always obvious
+at first.
+
+His or her younger organism, less experience-laden, and hence more
+elastic and more responsive, adapts itself more quickly to the ways of
+old age than old age adapts itself to the ways of youth.
+
+Even in cases when the gratification seems to be mutual, the damage
+done to the younger mate reveals itself thru neurotic disturbances.
+
+A man of thirty-five consulted for anxiety states, nightmares,
+"nervous" gastric troubles, etc.
+
+He had been living since his twentieth year with a woman twenty years
+his senior, in fact, a friend and schoolmate of his mother's.
+
+He called her Mama and she called him Sonny. While, according to his
+statements, their sexual life was absolutely normal and satisfying, the
+repressed incest-fear lurking in his unconscious betrayed itself thru a
+nightmare which disturbed his sleep with alarming frequency:
+
+"I am at the foot of marble stairs. A female figure is standing at the
+top, a relative, perhaps my mother. She extends her hand to me to help
+me up the stairs, but that hand is so weak that it cannot hold me and
+then I am frightened by a powerful male figure, a man in authority,
+perhaps my father, coming toward me from the side."
+
+Altho the man was physically satisfied, the split in his unconscious
+made him very irritable, restless and an unpleasant companion for his
+"mama" to whom he made endless scenes for trifling reasons.
+
+=King David.= In Biblical days when King David grew old,[2] his
+ministers besought themselves of the following remedy: they found a
+young virgin and "let her lie in his bosom" in the hope that the dying
+man might be revived by her contact. Even that availed nothing.
+
+In our days, however, we have come to prize human life and happiness
+more highly and young virgins shall not be sacrificed, being the new
+generation and the future, to the welfare of some modern King David who
+is the past.
+
+The young women in our midst, virgins or others, whom a morbid
+obsession draws to the bosom of some King David must be saved from the
+winter chill that awaits them. Modern psychology holds the key opening
+for them the door to freedom and normal love.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XXVII
+
+                             NEGATIVE LOVE
+
+
+The only form of love which is positive is complete love, which
+gratifies both the physical and the mental aspects of the organism
+and which, besides, is human and, hence, recognises and admits the
+relativity of all things human.
+
+Any form of love which excludes either the physical or the mental
+relationship of male and female, is incomplete and, therefore, abnormal.
+
+All the puritanical rant to the contrary notwithstanding, platonic
+love and prostitution are on the same biological level, as morbid and
+unnatural one as the other.
+
+Prostitution only gratifies the body more or less completely and
+starves the mind, causing the mental aspect of the love craving to
+become stunted or perverse.
+
+Platonic love gratifies the intellect more or less completely,
+rather less than more, for it offers few egotistical rewards, but it
+starves the body and leads it into adopting morbid forms of craving
+gratification.
+
+=A Clean Life.= Many a patient has declared proudly to me that he led
+a "clean life." A few days later, after losing his selfconsciousness
+in my presence, he would gradually confess to a terrible "struggle"
+against his "animal" instincts. Which meant, that at irregular
+intervals, self-gratification would give him, in a morbid day dream,
+the woman whose love he craved; or a pollution dream would allow
+him, in the unconsciousness and ethical irresponsibility of sleep,
+to make up for his privations by indulging in imaginary promiscuous
+cohabitation.
+
+This is in too many cases, the seamy side of a platonic love affair,
+when one or both of the mates is not naturally unsexed but unsexes
+himself thru what he or she calls will-power and which analysis reveals
+to be conscious or unconscious fear.
+
+This is the meaning of love plus continence. In the majority of cases
+its damage stops there. In a few cases, however, especially when the
+sex cravings of one of the mates have been so successfully repressed
+that they are no longer experienced consciously, symbolical nightmares
+of the most exhausting kind, hysterical disturbances during the
+waking hours, compulsions and obsessions of all sorts, reveal to the
+psychoanalyst that lava is boiling under the apparently extinct cone of
+a safe volcano.
+
+The platonic individual, like the puritan, is either oversexed or
+undersexed.
+
+The oversexed must surround themselves with protective measures lest
+their violent cravings may lead them into socially punishable acts. The
+simplest neurotic expedient is to utter a complete denial, whenever
+possible a public one, of the existence of sexual cravings, and then to
+be forced by one's statements into living up to an absurd self-imposed
+standard.
+
+=Utterances and Conduct.= This at times results in most grotesque
+conflicts between utterance and conduct. We see for instance the
+much married Mrs. Eddy who as the witty Theodore Schroeder remarked,
+had many more husbands than children, stating that the pleasures of
+the flesh "are always wrong unless the physiologic factor can be
+excluded from consciousness" (a rather cryptic sentence) and also that
+"generation rests on no sexual basis."
+
+Thy hysteric whose volcanic outbursts supply her with a morbid sexual
+relief for which she rejects all responsibility, for she is unconscious
+at the time is generally in her private and public life a woman of
+great repressions and perfect behavior, likely to sneer at every
+mention of a sex urge.
+
+In other cases, platonic love is an attempt at creating an artificial
+value thru destroying a natural, biological human function.
+
+=Oracles and Prophecies.= In ancient times it was observed that
+people deprived of any sexual gratification made at times mysterious
+utterances which were considered as an emanation of some divine
+intelligence.
+
+Those utterances were nothing but hysterical ravings, accepted as
+oracles, prophecies, etc.
+
+Our praise of continence, practiced even when it is unnecessary, (as in
+the case of lawfully married mates), is, after all, a survival of such
+superstitious beliefs based on misunderstood morbid phenomena.
+
+Modern science, especially the new science of endocrinology, has shown
+that to every display of sexual activity corresponds an outpouring of
+hormonic secretions which benefits the entire system.
+
+=Can We Save Our Vital Force?= Once upon a time it was assumed that
+continence enabled people to save their "vital force," to preserve the
+"resources of their body."
+
+We know now that the gonads produce two secretions, one which would
+pass out of the body in any event, and one which flows directly in the
+blood and is the only one which can benefit the organism.
+
+The various puritanical theories as to the great value of continence
+had been shaken many times by evidence from the biography of all the
+great writers, artists, philosophers, inventors and other men and women
+who have left the world much enriched by their creative labor and at
+the same time indulged freely in the pleasures of the flesh.
+
+=Sublimation.= Endocrinology strikes now the last blow at those
+theories, one of which by the way, was Freud's romantic hypothesis of
+the "sublimation."
+
+Freud believed that sexual energy could be diverted towards social ends
+of greater value and non-sexual in character. This is scientifically
+absurd, as it disregards the dualism of glandular secretions. The
+outward secretions cannot be "saved" and the inner secretions which are
+beyond our control flow directly into the blood stream.
+
+I have shown in another book, "Sex Happiness" that the platonic man
+is either the victim of his ignorance of sex matters and of ascetic
+superstitions which modern physiology can no longer countenance, or a
+physiologically deficient individual.
+
+The heroes of Beresford's "God's Counterpoint" and of May Sinclair's
+"The Romantic" whom I analised in "Sex Happiness" correspond to the
+first and the second of those types, respectively.
+
+=The Sexless.= There are men and women, of course, of the hypogonadal
+type, undersexed or sexless, who are capable of deep affection for a
+person of the opposite sex. That such an affection never culminates
+in complete physical communion is easily understood. Sexual failures
+discourage the weaker friend from risking any more experiments likely
+to result in humiliation.
+
+The sexless man is practically a woman, and like certain homosexuals,
+treats women as members of his own sex. He may make a pleasant,
+delicate, safe companion, but no woman should allow herself to care for
+him.
+
+=Frigid Women= who never experience any thrill in their husband's
+embrace and hence consider the physical communion as an indecent
+act forgivable in a husband only, as it is a part of the marriage
+arrangement, may love a man very deeply and yet never feel the urge to
+surrender their body to him.
+
+Here again we have to deal with ignorance or neurosis or both.
+
+The frigid woman, as I explained elsewhere is generally a neurotic,
+(perhaps made so by unpleasant first sexual experiences and her mate's
+failure to awaken her normal erotism), who is afraid of life, of its
+biological duties, of responsibility, of submission to a man's will,
+etc., and burdened with some unconscious incest fixation on her father,
+or homosexual fixation on her mother, etc.
+
+Her platonic attitude in love is due to numberless unconscious fears
+which are a strong bulwark against temptation.
+
+=Ideal Love.= Another form of negativism in love which receives no
+little amount of praise at the hands of the romantically silly and of
+the ill-informed, is the quest of the ideal love.
+
+We meet men and women, sometimes of mature years, who tell us with a
+great deal of pride that they never married because they could not find
+the "right mate."
+
+I will not deny that in rare cases this may be considered a perfectly
+valid reason, pointing to no morbid disposition on the part of the
+unwillingly single person. Marriage might have implied mating with a
+member of an erotically indifferent race, African or Asiatic; isolation
+in a remote farming community where a refined woman could only select
+a mate from among primitive laborers, or in mining regions like some
+Alaska camps, where the only women available at times are prostitutes.
+
+Barring such "legitimate" exceptions, which to my mind, imply however,
+a suspicious indifference to securing a mate, the seeker for an ideal
+mate is almost always neurotic.
+
+=Protective Measures.= By setting his goal very high, he is
+protected against the danger of finding a mate and assuming life's
+responsibilities, increased as they would be by normal sexual
+activities.
+
+This is done in various ways, thru exaggerated social expectations, or
+thru unreasonable economic demands, or through morbid criticism of the
+possible mate.
+
+A working girl may set her heart on marrying none but a Prince Charming
+who could by no chance whatsoever be attracted by her appearance or her
+manners, unless he himself were a neurotic seeking safety in a union
+with a socially inferior mate (students marrying waitresses, etc.).
+Newspapers publish enough news of such matches to supply the neurotic
+woman with a reasonable rationalisation of her fear of matrimony.
+
+Some poor, unattractive young man may likewise decide never to marry
+unless he may secure as his bride a woman whom her social position
+makes unattainable. Here again, unions of heiresses with menials supply
+the rationalisation.
+
+Some unattractive women may make such financial demands on the man
+seeking their affection that no one will have the courage to tempt them
+away from their single-blessedness.
+
+=Lovers of the Absolute.= There are individuals of a much more
+pathological type still, who refuse to recognise and accept the
+relativity of all things human, who seek absolute beauty, perfection,
+intelligence, understanding, sympathy in their future mate and who grow
+discouraged and depressed when they unavoidably discover flaws in every
+companion of the opposite sex.
+
+In certain cases that obsession of the perfect detail is a symptom of
+insanity.
+
+Cartoonists have often amused themselves and us by representing famous
+men and women with their features so distorted that their distant
+likeness to some animal is emphasized.
+
+I have observed the same distortion in neurotics to whom that delusion
+brought no humorous enjoyment but on the contrary deep suffering.
+
+=A Troublesome Patient.= One of my patients a handsome young man of
+twenty-six, had had very ephemeral affairs with several women and left
+them abruptly when he suddenly discovered in their features a likeness
+to certain animals, pigs, dogs, monkeys, etc. After which he could
+never be prevailed upon to see them again.
+
+One morning he called on me, announcing coolly that he had decided to
+shoot me. I invited him to sit down and discuss his plans more fully
+before carrying them out, and also to mention some of his reasons for
+that somewhat radical decision.
+
+He explained to me, with his right hand annoyingly buried in his
+coat pocket, that he had been in love for a few weeks, with a very
+attractive girl. Recently, he had noticed something in her profile
+which distantly resembled a pig's snout. The night before, while he
+was in her company, he suddenly saw her head transformed into a pig's
+head. He fled from her rooms in terror and disgust and, attributing his
+"clear insight into her true nature" to my psychoanalytic teachings,
+had decided to save others from my baneful influence by killing me.
+
+As is usually the case with maniacs, a quiet conversation cast doubts
+in his mind. I told him that I did not approve of his plans which
+might, however, be excellent, but that, as I was really a biased
+adviser in that matter, he should discuss them with an impartial third
+party. He then decided to call on Dr. Everett Dean Martin who advised
+him to take a rest cure and escorted him to Bellevue Hospital.
+
+The poor boy's transfer to the State Asylum has put an end to his
+search for the ideal love. That search was a disguised flight from
+women and love, his delusion was an effective measure of protection
+against temptation.
+
+Nothing but the absolute could satisfy him in a woman. Relativity was
+abhorrent to him.
+
+Every seeker for the ideal love has gone a few steps along the road
+which led my poor patient into the house of the living dead.
+
+=Higher Aspirations.= Neurotics of that type are plausible for they
+compensate for their fear and their inferiority with a pride based upon
+"higher aspirations," "greater delicacy of feelings," "an aristocratic
+nature" or the tell-tale statement that "their mother's beautiful
+character," "their father's noble nature" makes every man or woman
+appear very inferior in their eyes.
+
+Proud of certain characteristics of theirs which they cannot help
+having, they childishly display an egotism and selfishness which makes
+them at times very ridiculous, for it says indirectly: "Nobody is
+quite good enough for me."
+
+When the search for ideal love results in nervous states due to
+egotistical starvation, psychoanalysis can help greatly by giving the
+neurotic insight into the fear of life or the parent-fixation which is
+at the bottom of his romantic aspirations.
+
+
+
+
+                            CHAPTER XXVIII
+
+                        THE NEW WOMAN AND LOVE
+
+
+How will love fare at the hands of the new woman? The old forms of
+love will naturally be as unbearable to her as the steel corsets of a
+forgotten generation. Yet the problem is not so very pressing, for the
+truly new woman is still an almost insignificant factor, numerically
+speaking, in every community.
+
+Even in the professions and trades of a distinctly masculine character
+which woman has recently invaded, we meet constantly the mock-modern
+person, who under a veneer of modernity, still harbors all the
+superstitions, and exhibits all the mannerisms of the "old fashioned"
+woman.
+
+Being old-fashioned in love, as in every other activity of life,
+presents a great temptation to the lazy, the unintelligent, the
+neurotic.
+
+It is an excuse for all sorts of unethical forms of conduct, for
+failure or inactivity, and yet carries with itself a deceptive air of
+mock refinement and distinction.
+
+The woman who boasts of being old fashioned can misbehave and retain
+for years her husband's or her environment's confidence in her purity.
+Being old fashioned, she is assumed by all to be a little "simple" and
+"silly" at times, but unlikely to ever cross certain boundaries. At the
+same time, she can pass cruel judgments on all the trangressors who
+have not been as shrewd or lucky as she.
+
+As a basis for a discussion of the extent to which love will affect the
+modern woman and modern woman affect love, I shall select the picture
+drawn by George Bernard Shaw in McCall's Magazine for October 1920 of
+the woman of the new generation.
+
+"=What Women Had to Do Recently=," Shaw writes, "was not to repudiate
+their femininity but to assert its social value, not to ape masculinity
+but to demonstrate its insufficiency. This was the point of my play
+Candida in which it is made quite plain that the husband's masculine
+career would go to pieces without the wife's feminine activity.
+
+"As refinement was supposed to be proper to women and roughness proper
+to men fifty years ago, the great increase in companionship between
+men and women during that period was bound either to refine the
+men or roughen the women. It has done both. The feminine refinement
+which was only silliness disguised by affection has gone; and women
+are hardier and healthier, and the stock sizes of their clothes are
+larger in consequence. The masculine vigor that was only boorishness,
+slovenliness and neglect of person and clothes has fled before feminine
+criticism.
+
+"=But the Generalisation That Women are Refined and Men Rough by
+Nature= is a superficial one, holding good only when, as often happens,
+the man's occupation is rougher than the woman's. The natural woman
+cannot afford to be as fastidious as the natural man; if she shirked
+all the unpleasantness that he escapes, the race would perish. As a
+matter of fact, there are coarse women and coarse men, refined women
+and refined men; and there is no reason to suppose that the proportions
+differ in the two sexes.
+
+"=There is, However, a Rebellion against Nature= in the matter of
+the very unequal share of the burden of reproduction which falls to
+men and women in civilized communities. I say civilized communities
+advisedly, because the extremely artificial life of the modern lady
+has the effect of making her natural functions pathological. Whether
+the rebellion has been going on ever since ladies were invented I do
+not know, because history is silent on the subject, as it is on so
+many specifically feminine subjects. But I can testify that among
+women brought up amid the feminist movement of the second half of the
+nineteenth century there was a revolt against maternity which went
+deeper than that revolt against excessive maternity which has led
+to birth control. These more thoroughgoing rebels objected to the
+whole process, from the occasional event itself to the more permanent
+conditions it imposes. It is easy to dismiss this as monstrous and
+silly, but the modern conception of creative evolution forbids us to
+dismiss any development as impossible if it becomes the subject of an
+aspiration.
+
+"There is no limit to the truth of the old saying that where there is a
+will there is a way, and though for the moment a refusal to accept the
+existing conditions of reproduction would mean race suicide, the rebels
+against nature may be the pioneers of evolutionary changes which may
+finally dispose of the less pleasant incidents of nutrition, and make
+reproduction a process external to the parents in its more burdensome
+phases, as it now is in many existent species."
+
+=The Entrance of Woman into Commercial Life= has trained her no longer
+to expect something for nothing (exchangeable) and to realize that a
+bargain, to be satisfactory, an agreement, to be lasting, must be based
+on mutual advantages to both parties.
+
+Love, with the old fashioned, began with a struggle of wits between the
+sexes, the man trying to conquer without granting any advantages to the
+defeated, woman trying to wear out her opponent and make him yield more
+and more advantages before she finally "paid up."
+
+On one side, fear of financial burdens, at the other end, fear of
+desertion and pregnancy, suspicion and cruelty.
+
+The sex struggle with its disgusting features of hypocrisy, pretence,
+duplicity, misrepresentation, denial of biological facts, etc., has
+yielded to an agreement, much as the robber system of past ages has
+been replaced by commercial transactions which leave no hatred and no
+desire for vengeance in their wake.
+
+=Was It a Sacrifice?= The old-fashioned woman, wife or mistress,
+assuming the position of the conquered and defeated, claimed infinite
+privileges as an offset to what she has "given up," "sacrificed,"
+"yielded." She humiliated her conqueror by pretending that
+his body or his caresses were not the equal of hers, and that she only
+submitted to his desire, without much pleasure, compelled by his "low
+instincts."
+
+The modern woman, conversant with the facts of sex, and no longer
+having to create an artificial value for her body based on disregard
+of biological facts, since her activities, mental and physical, now
+command a definite price on the market place, seeks a partner with whom
+she will exchange caresses leading, as she recognises without silly
+shame, to mutual gratification.
+
+=The Pursuit.= The old-fashioned woman, who always assumed the
+passive role in life and who, supposedly indifferent to the pleasures
+of the flesh, ran away, actually or figuratively, from the brutal
+pursuer, played a preposterous dual part in the pre-love skirmishes.
+Who has never encountered the woman who wears in a public place some
+dress which reveals a great deal of her bust, and yet who pretends to
+be offended if some man stares at what she has exposed in order to
+attract his stare?
+
+The modern woman whose worth is determined, not by the male's
+eroticism in her presence, but by her accomplishments, can afford to be
+frank, honest, if not, at times, aggressive, in the love search.
+
+=The Passing of Respectable Prostitution.= The old-fashioned woman,
+having created the artificial value of womanhood as such, indulged in
+a mild, genteel form of prostitution, which, having no consequences
+likely to impose a burden on the community, (pregnancy, childbirth)
+never was criticised very severely. She sold her company for meals,
+theatre tickets, comfortable transportation, flowers, trinkets. Now and
+then, developing a streak of fairness and honesty, she would grant the
+man she exploited small privileges of a superficial kind. But the real
+old-fashioned girl was of the absolutely sordid type, who could allow a
+more or less repellent suitor to spend considerable sums to amuse her
+but would express genuine indignation at the thought that the man could
+be as sordid as she was, and expect some caresses in return.
+
+The modern woman, made independent financially by her non-sexual
+activities, can remove from her love all taint of even mild
+commercialism, returning favors in kind, or accepting presents, no
+longer as a bribe, but as a token of affection on the part of a man she
+loves.
+
+=The Abettor of Ethical Sins.= The old fashioned wife was in many more
+cases than superficial thinking would cause us to imagine, a more
+dangerous corrupter of public and private morality than the prostitute.
+
+Numerically the wife predominates. The prostitute constitutes a very
+small minority of the population of large cities and does not thrive in
+small town, villages or farming communities.
+
+Louis Berman, who is generally very indifferent to psychology, makes a
+very valuable remark in his book on glands: "Consider," he writes, "the
+unimportance of a collective purpose to the woman whose career is the
+mate and then the mate's career."
+
+Which means that the woman who takes up wifehood as a profession has
+no social morality. Her husband is her oyster and the world must in
+turn be her husband's oyster. She knows only one thing: that she must
+support her mate in anything he does so long as his activities, be they
+even immoral or criminal, provide food and shelter for her and her
+children. She cares not what he does as long as he "succeeds."
+
+She founds her estimate of success upon visible accomplishment. Getting
+"theirs," to her is preferable to getting "there." She, in short, is
+a foe to the world, as the world is the foe her mate has set out to
+capture and rob.
+
+She willingly sells his ethics to buy success and, at the same time,
+is loud in her denunciation of public, self-confessed prostitutes. She
+would not prostitute herself but she lightheartedly prostitutes her
+mate.
+
+The modern woman can in an emergency help her husband financially and
+thus enable him to follow the dictates of social ethics. She will
+thereby earn deeper love and respect from him than by any willingness
+to stand by him in crooked deals.
+
+=Health Versus Sickness.= To the old fashioned wife, weakness and
+sickness were invaluable assets. Sickness excused laziness and
+capriciousness. Sickness was a bait for petting and at the same time,
+a protection against unwelcome physical intimacies. Her menstruation
+became a mysterious, offensive, painful process which debarred her from
+many careers she never thought of entering, saved her from duties she
+was only too glad to shirk. Undismayed by the sight of professional
+women, singers, actresses, dancers, divers, etc., who not only never
+seemed disabled by the "dreaded" period but also held a distinct
+fascination to males "in spite" of their lack of neurotic femininity,
+she prided herself in living up to Michelet's asinine description of
+woman, "an invalid twelve times unclean."
+
+The modern woman seeking accomplishment of the positive type, scorns
+the negative superiority which sickness and invalidism assure to
+neurotics. She has acquired a more scientific knowledge of sex matters
+and the superstitious fears surrounding menstruation no longer affect
+her.
+
+From my own clinical experience, I am compelled to agree heartily with
+Dr. Josephine A. Jackson and Helen M. Salisbury, who in their very fine
+and practical book "Outwitting our Nerves" state that "ninety-five
+out of a hundred cases of painful menstruation are caused by fear and
+expectation of pain."
+
+=The Passing of the Doll.= The modern woman, active, self reliant,
+honest and healthy, will force out of existence a type which has lent
+much picturesque charm to social gatherings and to pictorial art, the
+doll type of woman, prettiness incarnate, of rose leaf charm, unfit for
+any biological function except the mild lovemaking, not so much of a
+husband, as of a lover. Tuberculous poets and composers of the Musset
+and Chopin type, affected pictorial artists like Helleu, will deplore
+her disappearance. Man, put at his ease by the modern woman, who does
+not require constant protection, mental and physical, will find the
+doll "too much trouble."
+
+Only the very stupid and unmanly man will cultivate her for she will
+not throw his physical shortcomings into too striking relief and it
+will not require any mental exertion on his part to converse with her.
+
+=The Passing of the Flirt.= The flirt is doomed. The flirt is a
+rather unintelligent woman with a mild prostitution complex. She has
+been trained from infancy to consider a woman's career as successful
+when the woman fastens to herself a breadwinner whom she holds by his
+physical desire of her body. Having never acquired any market value
+outside of the sexual field, she must constantly test her powers and
+reassure herself by leading all sorts and conditions of men, for whom
+she may never experience even the slightest fancy, into consequential
+overt acts revealing that she has awakened their eroticism.
+
+Anyone will do, provided she reads in his eyes the verdict: I am still
+attractive.
+
+The terror of growing old is not so overwhelming to the modern woman
+who has acquired a non-sexual market value. She tests herself thru
+positive accomplishment, leadership, principally, and does not need to
+keep her eye constantly on the sex thermometer.
+
+=Modesty, Old and New.= Knowledge which dispels physical ghosts
+and a positive self-valuation based on accomplishment will cause the
+modern woman to discard the old fashioned modesty which was supposed to
+be her greatest attraction, and which husbands, while being obviously
+attracted by immodest women, encouraged in their wives as a bulwark
+against the advances of other men.
+
+Havelock Ellis in his "Impressions and Comments" contrasts cleverly
+thru two striking illustrations the old-fashioned type, worshipping
+at the altar of false modesty, and the modern type, who is no longer
+ashamed of her body or her sex:
+
+"In one of my books I had occasion to mention the case, communicated
+to me, of a woman in Italy who preferred to perish in the flames,
+when the house was on fire, rather than shock her modesty by coming
+out of it without her clothes. So far as it has been within my power
+I have always sought to place bombs beneath the world in which that
+woman lived, so that it might altogether go up in flames. I read of
+a troop ship torpedoed in the Mediterranean and almost immediately
+sunk within sight of land. A nurse was still on deck. She proceeded
+to strip, saying to the men about her: 'Excuse me, boys, I must save
+the Tommies.' She swam around and saved a dozen of them. That woman
+belongs to my world. Now and again I have come across the like, sweet
+and feminine and daring women who have done things as brave as that,
+and even much braver because more complexly difficult and always I feel
+my heart swinging like a censer before them, going up in a perpetual
+fragrance of love and adoration.
+
+"I dream of a world in which the spirits of women are flames stronger
+than fire, a world in which modesty has become courage and yet remains
+modesty, a world in which women are as unlike men as ever they were
+in the world I sought to destroy, a world in which women shine with a
+loveliness of self-revelation as enchanting as ever the old legends
+told, and yet a world which would immeasurably transcend the old world
+in the self sacrificing passion of human service."
+
+Thus far I have presented the silver lining of what some timid persons
+call the cloud of modernism in love.
+
+To be perfectly fair and honest, I must now mention the cloud itself,
+altho, like all clouds, it will soon blow away or resolve itself into
+a few drops of water, tears, perhaps, also of a temporary nature.
+
+=The Unadapted Woman.= The sudden rise of women in certain fields
+of activity has left quite a number of them unpleasantly unadapted.
+
+Certain positions, well filled by women, and which pay rather high
+salaries, demand but a modicum of intellectual development, little
+culture or manners.
+
+The women who fill them, and who generally come from the working class,
+financially well off, accustomed to expensive clothes and to respectful
+treatment on the part of their coworkers or employers, are loath to
+enter a married relationship or even a liaison, with men of their
+social set, that is, having the same culture or lack of culture, for
+those men are financially lower and lack certain manners which they
+expect to find in their environment.
+
+A husband of the working class type could not, in case of pregnancy,
+give such a woman the comfort which she now craves. Motherhood would
+deprive her, temporarily at least, from an income which nothing could
+replace.
+
+Nor could she become subservient to a husband after being very
+independent and having become slightly snobbish on account of the
+attentions she has received from men financially superior to her.
+
+Some of those women whom I have known, and whose profession I shall
+not mention to avoid references of an odious character, sought mates,
+legitimate or illegitimate, out of their class, taking for husbands or
+lovers unsuccessful professional men in need of help.
+
+The results of those matches were anything but encouraging.
+
+The male prostitutes who accepted such arrangements, either showed
+plainly their scorn of their unintellectual mate or left her as soon as
+success in their chosen field made them independent of their working
+class wife or mistress.
+
+=The Proud Husband.= Many men drawing even small salaries, are
+absolutely unwilling to marry a woman engaged in a gainful occupation.
+This is due either to hidden jealousy, some men imagining that daily
+contact with other men is bound to jeopardise a woman's morals, or to
+silly pride and panicky fear of "what THEY will say." I have heard many
+donkeys telling me that they do not wish "people" to think that they
+cannot support their wives.
+
+The cloud hovering over the modern woman and which may, at times, cast
+a shadow on her love life, will be blown away as soon as culture
+spreads to all social classes of the population owing to the increase
+and systematisation of leisure, and as soon as the old fashioned male
+has been consigned to his last resting place or analised out of his
+foolish neurotic notions.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XXIX
+
+                             BIRTH CONTROL
+
+
+Modern love, as I have endeavored to show in the preceding chapters is
+infinitely more complex than love was in the past. When woman was meant
+to obey and serve, when feudalism or any other rigid caste system set
+clear-cut boundaries to each individual's range of development, there
+was less unrest among women just as there was less unrest among slaves.
+And both the mediaeval slave and the mediaeval women were probably
+absolute bores.
+
+Unrest is growth and complexity is the obvious evidence of growth.
+
+Love stirrings among the amoebae are probably similar to those
+experienced by human beings. Nature probably puts a premium of pleasure
+on the cleavage of the unicellular animal which reproduces itself by
+dividing itself in two, by issuing forth another cell, as it does on
+the human male when his gonads liberate spermatozoa.
+
+But the amoeba's love feelings are extremely simple and lead to
+no complication for they imply no enduring companionship, no
+responsibilities to a mate nor to the "offspring."
+
+=What We Expect of the Modern Woman.= The modern woman who is expected
+to be, not merely a sexual mate but a social and intellectual mate as
+well, a companion in our athletic diversions, a comrade-at-arms in the
+world's battles, and many other things, can no longer allow chance to
+interrupt her developmental strivings, to handicap her in the friendly
+race she is running with the mate of her choice for intellectual
+accomplishment by unexpected, unwelcome, inconvenient pregnancy and
+child bearing.
+
+Every child claims two years of its mother's life and it seems
+reasonable that the mother should have something to say as to what
+number that chapter will bear in her biography.
+
+As only the very weak-minded or very hypocritical offer as a remedy for
+frequent pregnancy male continence, we shall not even consider for one
+minute such an absurd, abnormal, biologically immoral solution.
+
+=The Only Solution.= The only other solution which has ever been
+proposed is a system of sexual enlightenment which will enable a
+woman to prevent pregnancy until such time when she feels that she can
+in justice to herself and to her offspring bear a child, and will,
+further, enable her to have an abortion performed when, in spite of all
+contraceptive measures, pregnancy has begun.
+
+This solution has been adopted by the entire civilised world, and in
+fact, I might say that the degree of civilisation of a race or nation
+can be accurately gauged by the number of individuals within that race
+or nation practicing birth control.
+
+With very few exceptions, a large family betokens stupidity, poverty
+and ignorance. It is the poor, the stupid and the ignorant who are
+burdened with children and, in turn, that burden keeps them stupid,
+poor and ignorant. A vicious circle which seems hard to break.
+
+=The Human Milch Cow.= Many a time when beholding some miserable
+female from the slums wrecked by repeated childbearing, dwarfed in
+mind, deformed in body, I have felt that sexual relations between her
+and her mate had probably reached the level at which they could only by
+an unusual stretch of one's imagination, be even distantly connected
+with love. To her and to her mate, every embrace, except after the
+onset of pregnancy, meant added suffering, added expense, further
+physical degradation and decay.
+
+Since the "nice" people, however, know the remedy and apply it, why
+bother any longer? Because, while normally intelligent men and women
+know how to avoid pregnancy and to whom to turn when an accident
+happens, the greatest uncertainty about contraception obsesses their
+minds and panicky fears bring about many catastrophes when the
+unwelcome fruit must be removed from the mother's body.
+
+Thousands of men and woman, enlightened in the mysteries of
+contraception by some one who is little less ignorant than themselves,
+are chilled in their enjoyment of lawful love by the thought of
+possible danger.
+
+Many women accept their husbands caresses in fear and trembling and
+many, imagining that there is a close connection between orgasm and
+pregnancy succeed in making themselves frigid, which leads to neurotic
+disturbances in the wife and unhappiness for both mates. Many husbands
+never dare to "let themselves go" unless it be in the arms of a
+prostitute who is "wise" and can "take care of herself." Many a woman
+has deceived her husband because a wise "man of the world" assured her
+that she ran no risk of pregnancy in his arms.
+
+=The Nightmare of Abortion.= And, if in spite of all, an
+"accident" happens, what is the mental state of the woman who calls
+at the "unethical" practitioner's office? While such an operation
+practiced with a modicum of skill may be harmless, the dread fear of
+possible consequences is quite able to kill the woman.
+
+Fear may bring forth any morbid symptom, from an embolus to violent
+suppuration.
+
+Fear, on the other hand, on which the advocates of suppressive measures
+rely, hardly ever leads anyone to continence or prevents any one from
+resorting to abortion.
+
+Legal obstacles to contraceptive education attain only one result. They
+make married love risky and unpleasant, kill many a young woman and, in
+the case of neurotic mothers, allow one morbid generation to bring into
+this world another morbid generation.
+
+=The Plight of the Neurotic Woman.= Many neurotic women imagine that
+they hate their husbands and rationalise that hatred by bringing up
+many absurd, imaginary charges against them. To them their husbands
+symbolise pregnancy.
+
+Many neurotic mothers, who did not wish to bear another child, often
+compensate for their lack of real love for the unwelcome child by an
+absurd, exaggerated tenderness which spoils the child or develops
+morbid fears (the fear they might hurt or kill the child, fear as to
+the child's health or welfare) which wreck the child's mental balance
+and not infrequently land the mother in a sanatarium.
+
+A neurotic woman I treated was obsessed by the fear that she might
+some day kill her husband and children. Several years ago she had had
+an abortion performed by a midwife whom she did not trust. Septic
+poisoning set in and she hovered between life and death for several
+months. A great fear of death drove her into reading many religious
+books. She came to the conclusion that she had committed a murder.
+
+But her husband, having impregnated her, was more guilty than she,
+for he was the cause of it all. Hence, her insane logic added, he and
+she would be better off dead than leading a sinful life. She should,
+therefore, kill him and kill herself. Furthermore, her children being
+the offspring of murderers, must be themselves tainted with criminal
+tendencies and should also be saved from a life of crime. When she was
+brought to me she had attempted to kill the entire family by turning
+on the gas faucets all over the house about two o'clock in the morning.
+
+The lawmakers who prevented that woman from having an operation
+performed legally, (which would remove the fear of crime) safely, by a
+reputable practitioner, (which would remove the fear of consequences),
+openly, (which would remove the fear of social ostracism), would
+have been responsible for the death of several people, had she not
+accidentally awakened her husband by upsetting a chair on her way back
+to her bed.
+
+There are thousands of neurotics, suffering from a feeling of
+inferiority, who are unfit to become mothers until their morbidity has
+been cured by psychotherapy, and who, if allowed to bear children, will
+train a new generation to behave in a negative, neurotic, socially
+baneful way.
+
+=The Children of Neurotic Mothers=, in whom the fear and hatred of
+sex and love is rampant, will some day become prostitutes or puritans,
+both of them degrading love equally.
+
+I cannot follow Freud when he states that every neurosis has its root
+in a failure of the love life, but some of the artificial obstacles
+created by a stupid puritanical civilisation between man and the
+full realisation of his sexual goal have not infrequently wrecked a
+life which, neurotically oriented as it was, might have gone on, in a
+socially tolerable way, for years and perhaps until the individual's
+death.
+
+Difficulties due to the use of improper or misunderstood contraceptive
+appliances, the terrors of pregnancy, actual or expected, the fear
+of abortion, the sufferings following abortion in a complex-ridden
+organism, have too often upset a balance which at best was precarious.
+
+=Birth Control and Indulgence.= Certain critics of birth control
+attack it on the ground that it would lead to "overindulgence" of the
+sex relationship. Those people are generally unprepossessing, worn,
+individuals who are trying to compensate for their sexual weakness by
+making a virtue out of an unavoidable inferiority. Their opposition to
+what they call "overindulgence" (one thing which nature hardly ever
+allows, barring rare morbid cases of priapism) is grotesque in the case
+of married couples.
+
+More unions are wrecked by underindulgence due to fear, ignorance of
+the mates or inhibitions on the part of one or both, than to indulgence
+of the normal kind.
+
+Anything which prevents or discourages the normal exchange of sexual
+caresses between those legally entitled to each others enjoyment is
+pernicious, antisocial and antibiological for, as Grace Potter writes:
+
+"Mating has to do with other creation than that of new human beings. It
+has to do with every kind of creation--a new state, a poem, a picture,
+a great bridge, a happier world. Mating is concerned with repeopling
+the world but also with regeneration of the individual, opening his
+capacities to growth. Who shall say that the one is not as important
+as the other? If the second were not as important as the first there
+would have been hardly any advance in human culture. Of all the errors
+incident to the development of human beings, in their struggle to
+attain a consciousness that makes them more than animals, none has had
+wider ill-effects than our misuse of love.
+
+"There are two equally unfortunate attitudes toward love which perhaps
+grow out of each other. The one is the puritan attitude and the other
+is the vulgar one. The puritan attitude is that sex impulses are
+somehow vile and so, altho they give pleasure, must be denied. The
+vulgar attitude takes it for granted that sex impulses are vile but as
+they are pleasant are to be accepted. The one tends to deny physical
+values to love. This is suppression. The other tends to deny tender
+values to love. That is suppression also. They have neither one known
+love. And finally the puritan becomes incapable of tenderness and the
+vulgar becomes equally incapable of physical expression. It is not a
+beautiful picture.
+
+"The healthy attitude is this: The sex impulse is not degrading any
+more than any other impulse is. It is a force as gravity is a force.
+Those human beings achieve beauty and harmony who correlate sexual
+impulses harmoniously with all their other impulses."[3]
+
+"In spite of the age-long teachings that sex life in itself is
+unclean," Margaret Sanger writes in "Woman and the New Race," the
+world has been moving to a realization that A GREAT LOVE BETWEEN A MAN
+AND A WOMAN IS A HOLY THING freighted with great responsibilities for
+spiritual growth. The fear of unwanted children removed, the assurance
+that she will have a sufficient amount of time in which to develop
+her love life to its greatest beauty, with its comradeship in many
+fields--these will lift woman by the very soaring quality of her
+innermost self to spiritual heights that few have attained. Then the
+coming of the eagerly desired children will but enrich life in all its
+avenues, rather than enslave and impoverish it as do unwanted ones
+to-day.
+
+"What healthier grounds for the growth of sound morals could possibly
+exist than the ample spiritual life of the woman just depicted? Free
+to follow the feminine spirit, which dwells in the sanctuary of her
+nature, she will, in her daily life, give expression to that high
+idealism which is the fruit of that spirit when it is unhampered and
+unviolated.
+
+"The love for her mate will flower in beauty of deeds that are pure
+because they are the natural expression of her physical, mental and
+spiritual being. The love for desired children will come to blossom in
+a spirituality that is high because it is free to reach the heights.
+
+"=The Moral Force of Woman's Nature Will be Unchained=, and of its own
+dynamic power will uplift her to a plane unimagined by those holding
+fast to the old standards of church morality. Love is the greatest
+force of the universe; freed of its bonds of submission and unwanted
+progeny, it will formulate and compel of its own nature observance to
+standards of purity far beyond the highest conception of the average
+moralist."
+
+=The Passing of the Double Standard.= "Birth Control in
+philosophy and practice," Margaret Sanger writes in "THE PIVOT
+OF CIVILIZATION," is the destroyer of the dualism in the
+old sex code. It denies that the only purpose of sexual activity
+is procreation; it also denies that sex should be reduced to the
+level of sensual lust or that woman should permit herself to be the
+instrument of its satisfaction. In increasing and differentiating her
+love demands, woman must elevate sex into another sphere, whereby
+it may subserve and enhance the possibility of individual and human
+expression. Man will gain in this no less than woman; for in the
+age-old enslavement of woman he has enslaved himself; and in the
+liberation of womankind, all of humanity will experience the joys of a
+newer and fuller freedom."
+
+
+
+
+                              CHAPTER XXX
+
+                    THE PASSING OF HUSBAND WORSHIP
+
+
+While thousands of healthy people, men and women, rejoice over the fact
+that woman of the modern type is coming to the fore, there are many
+"calamity howlers," male and female, who bid us pause and consider the
+direful consequences which they fear (that is, hope), this new stage in
+the development of mankind will bring to the world.
+
+Dr. Arabella Kenealy in "Feminism and Sex Extinction" forebodes the
+passing of whatever is masculine in the male. Her arguments are not
+very logical but they are interesting. She believes that "two fates
+await woman unless she rids herself of contempt for functions and
+duties purely hers, feminism and feministicism. She is handicapped
+every month for two or three days by weakness or pain. The craze to do
+men's work will result in man's emasculation.
+
+"The desire to figure in legislation far from stiffening the manly
+caliber of weak men will still further enervate them. Members
+of either sex are not capable of doing their best work while in
+association. Sex rivalries are excited. Sex ascendency is created.
+Man inherits from his mother some of woman's apprehension, foresight
+and altruism as required to present woman's bent and viewpoint. More
+of it would be superfluous. The numerical preponderance of women must
+ultimately swamp masculine initiative in state affairs unless the
+political functions of the sexes are separated."
+
+Why the process should be more baneful for men than it has been for
+women who, for countless generations have been decidedly "swamped in
+state affairs" is not very evident.
+
+=Is Man's Virility Declining?= An editorial writer in the New York
+Medical Journal also foresees degeneration ahead unless the male
+retains his mastery: "The yielding by man to the other sex of masculine
+essential rights and obligations is a symptom of declining virility,
+physical and mental."
+
+Another medical writer sounds a different alarm: "Overworked woman
+may impair the constitutional vigor of man, while she works with
+him. She is kept up by nervous excitement, by strong tea or drugs.
+In short, woman is fussy. In a stress of work she will work on with
+crimson cheeks and growing irritation, while man will put on his hat
+and calmly resort to the nearest lunch room. Women by their eternal
+high pressure as heads of departments are making nervous wrecks of
+themselves."
+
+Finally there comes Havelock Ellis, usually less panicky, who thinks
+he has noticed a distinct degeneration in the young man of today.
+"These weak-chinned, neurotic young men are no match at all for the
+heavy-jawed resolute young women feminist methods are creating. The
+yielding to women of masculine rights is a symptom of declining
+virility. Equality in all things yielded, pride in himself, in his
+work, gone, he will descend to the state of the decadent savage who
+keeps as many wives to work for him as their work for him enables him
+to keep."
+
+=There is Undue Pessimism in All Those Warnings.= Woman has not become
+brutish as some writers claim, nor has man become effeminate. Woman
+has simply gained a clearer knowledge of her latent powers and the war
+has provided her with a touchstone for her physical resistance and
+endurance.
+
+The work woman had to do during the war, which she had never suspected
+she could do, for until then it had been considered as man's work, has
+not "masculinised" her but it has rid many "delicate flowers" of their
+morbid belief in the fragile character of their constitution.
+
+Male man is not in danger of passing out of existence but one variety
+of man is doomed, the type which has always wished to mate with the two
+types of women which, in the preceding chapter, I declared doomed, the
+doll and the flirt.
+
+ =The Wise Husband.= That almost extinct species is the type of husband
+ who speakes of HIS wife, who knows "women" and what is "good" for
+ them, the home Jehovah, all-knowing and all-powerful, who must be
+ served and obeyed, who, on his return from work must find his wife
+ ready to entertain him if so he wishes, or to plunge back into the
+ depths of the kitchen if his mood so requires, the husband who knows
+ that he is the aim and goal of his wife's existence.
+
+A ridiculous old man, abandoned by his too young wife, made to the
+reporters a statement betraying sadly the infinite conceit of that
+type: "She will return to me because I love her so."
+
+A most unprepossessing man was bewailing in my office the fact that his
+wife had grown sexually indifferent to him. I advised him not to compel
+her to have intercourse with him against her will, especially as he
+was diseased. He naïvely remarked: "But she is my wife."
+
+That type of husband, in other words, considers a wife as a chattel,
+to be submitted to any sort of legal indignity because she is "only a
+female." He may force motherhood upon her to demonstrate his doubtful
+virility or to protect his jealous egotism. He would accept with
+enthusiasm Goldschmidt's theories which I presented for what they were
+worth in the chapter on Virginity, and according to which, woman is
+soft wax and characterless, waiting to be shaped into a personality by
+her husband's caresses.
+
+Scientific investigators of a more reliable type than Goldschmidt and
+who avoid drawing "yellow" conclusions from their labors, have supplied
+the reading world with facts which should cause the Jehovah husband to
+fear for his lofty position.
+
+=Is the Male Indispensable?= Jacques Loeb and others have demonstrated
+that as far as the physical results of love, the continuance of the
+race, is concerned, the male may not be absolutely indispensable.
+
+Loeb had shown that almost anything which causes the protoplasm of the
+egg to separate itself from its membrane is sufficient to introduce
+"life" into that curious organism which until then only holds
+possibilities of life.
+
+Nature, in order to produce one individual demands two principles, one
+male and one female principle. She must have one egg which is modified
+by some product of the male organism, pollen or sperm.
+
+=Modern Scientists Have Beaten Nature at Her Own Game= of
+creation; they have taken one egg, the female principle and proceeded
+to fertilise that egg without any male product whatsoever.
+
+The experiment has only been made on low forms of animal life, sea
+urchins and the like, but the egg of the sea urchin is not different in
+any essential respect from the egg of the human species.
+
+By taking unfecundated eggs and placing them for two minutes in a
+mixture of sea water and acetic, or butyric, or valerianic acid, then
+placing them back in sea water and twenty minutes later, immersing
+them for about an hour in hypertonic sea water or sugar solution, and
+finally returning them to sea water, Loeb was able to bring to life
+young larvæ. A French scientist, Delage, repeating the same experiments
+managed to keep those larvæ alive until the time of their sexual
+maturity.
+
+Loeb also succeeded in fertilising eggs by placing them in the blood
+serum of cows, sheep, pigs or rabbits.
+
+Mathews has fertilised some by shaking them gently for a period of time.
+
+=Twins To Order.= Loeb and others have gone further even than that
+and produced not only single individuals but twins, triplets, etc.
+
+The secrets of nature's laboratory are being revealed more and more
+clearly from day to day.
+
+The conceited fathers who imagine that the bringing into life of twins
+is a symptom of their powerful virility must learn that a mere chemical
+phenomenon called _osmosis_ is responsible for the over-fertility of
+some wives.
+
+Remove from sea water sea urchin's eggs and place them for fifteen
+minutes or so in ordinary water. The density of water being lower than
+that of sea water, the eggs will absorb a great deal of water and burst
+open. A drop of protoplasm will come out at the break in the membrane.
+Replace the exploded egg into sea water and two larvæ will hatch out of
+it. Separate the two portions of the exploded egg and the twins will be
+as healthy as tho they had been allowed to grow for a while in Siamese
+style.
+
+By repeating the experiment, Loeb has produced not only twins but
+triplets and quadruplets, all normal and growing out of the same egg
+which was only meant originally to produce one urchin.
+
+One can understand how a variation in the pressure of the liquids
+surrounding the human egg may lead to the same result.
+
+While scientists have created living beings by using the female
+principles as a basis, they have not thus far attained any results by
+experimenting with the male principle alone.
+
+=The Mother is the Race= apparently and the stubbornness of man
+in claiming and fighting for the principle of masculine superiority
+is apparently due to his obscure feeling that after all he is not
+indispensable.
+
+The more vociferous the claim, the weaker generally the basis for that
+claim. In certain forms of insanity, the more the organism is destroyed
+by disease the more extravagant the statements are which the insane man
+makes about himself, claiming power, wealth, health, youth, beauty, etc.
+
+At least one animal species, the bees, have placed the male on that
+footing. The male bee represents a convenient and pleasant means of
+bringing about the fecundation of the eggs. After his chemical part
+has been played, however, no one takes him seriously and his official
+existence ends. Certain spiders and other insects consider the male in
+the same light, some of them killing and eating the male as soon as his
+fecundating activities have come to an end.
+
+The feminine domination, if it should ever implant itself into our
+world would undoubtedly lead to the absurdities, the exaggerations and
+the repressions which are the result of our man made civilisation.
+
+=Matriarchal Communities of the Past= in which the woman was the
+head of the family and probably of the state and matriarchial groups of
+Tibet have not left visible tokens of their worth as a family system.
+As they preceded the present family system however, it may be that
+all traces of their achievements have been obliterated by time. The
+Tibetan experiment may have been blighted by unfavorable geographical
+conditions and rendered as barren as the Mongolian patriarchal
+experiments in a neighboring part of the world.
+
+Man as a means of fecundation is not likely to be discarded by normal
+women but his prestige is likely to decrease as the secret of his
+mysterious power becomes better known.
+
+The passing of the smug, self satisfied Jehovah husband, a neurotic in
+every case, is in sight and his passing will facilitate the adaptation
+of some of the inadapted women I mentioned in the preceding chapter,
+some of whom fail to find love, and some of whom do not dare to seek it.
+
+=The Successful Modern Woman is Rather Conceited.= Some of the things I
+said about female artists applies in a great measure to the woman who
+in business or in a profession has managed to make her mark.
+
+After struggling years for a certain object which she has at last
+attained, she is naturally loath to surrender her personality to the
+average husband of the self-styled masculine type.
+
+She at times resorts to homosexualism in an effort to retain her
+independence and yet satisfy her love cravings without submitting to a
+domination which she feels to be unjustified.
+
+=The Terrors of The Climateric.= The passing of the Jehovah husband
+will also ease a process of woman's (and man's) life which has to this
+day held countless terrors to the uninitiated, the climacteric.
+
+To the old-fashioned and the gullible woman, the change of life meant
+the end of life as a female. The stupid man, who is constantly
+endeavoring to subdue his mate thru disparagement and kills speedily
+her youth, her enthusiasm and her hopes by repeating constantly the
+trashy "At your age, my dear," is in a great measure responsible for
+transforming that harmless phenomenon into a painful crisis, mental and
+physical.
+
+The crisis of the "Dangerous Age," to use Karin Michaelis's expression,
+is generally due to the clash of a weak masochistic female with a weak
+and sadistic male, a clash in which, owing to age and the staleness of
+the mates, affection has no redeeming, consoling physical features.
+
+=The Masculine Man is in No Danger of Passing Away= and he will for
+ever be as attractive to woman as the feminine woman is to him.
+
+As Shaw said, what has been killed in men by the growth of feminism is
+"not masculinity but boorishness," a characteristic, not of the strong
+but of the weak, who is trying to compensate for his weakness and to
+conceal it. What has been killed in woman is not feminine sweetness but
+overfeminine silliness which woman used as a deceptive weapon against
+the domineering male.
+
+In a world which grants equal opportunities to men and women, no
+husband will be able to justify or excuse his treatment of a woman
+by saying "She is my wife." He will have to remain her lover in order
+to hold her. No wife will be able to make the home hideous and, at
+the same time, brandish over her husband's head the certificate of
+enslavement called a marriage license. She will have, in order to
+compete with the free women whose personality will impose itself upon
+her environment, to remain his mistress.
+
+Every step ahead which the world takes fortunately proves a new step
+which love takes in the direction of completeness and freedom from
+sordidness and ugliness.
+
+
+
+
+                             CHAPTER XXXI
+
+                    PERFECT MATRIMONIAL ADJUSTMENTS
+
+
+While marriage, regardless of whatever form it may assume, has always
+been mentioned in this book as unavoidably related to love, we must
+not blink the fact that marriage and love are two absolutely different
+things forced into frequent association by social and economic
+necessity.
+
+Love is an involuntary and compulsory craving which draws a male and a
+female into the closest possible union for the purpose of mutual sexual
+gratification, generally followed by conception and reproduction.
+
+=Marriage a Compromise.= Marriage on the other hand is merely a
+compromise between the positive individual cravings which demand the
+most complete and frequent gratification of the love urge, regardless
+of its consequences, and the negative feeling which causes the
+community to shirk all possible responsibilities incurred by the
+individual, among others, the support of pregnant or lactating females
+and of helpless infants.
+
+Unless the community owns mother and child and can exploit their labor
+or receive their cash value (slavery system), it demands that their
+owner, the impregnator of the woman and procreator of the child, supply
+food and shelter for both.
+
+Marriage is also a compromise between two individual cravings which may
+not be synchronised, as the male's desire for the female may subside
+before her desire for him does, or reciprocally.
+
+Through the institution of marriage the community protects itself
+against new burdens directly by penalties (sentences against wife
+deserters or those who abandon children) and indirectly by protecting
+the mates against their own cravings for whose duration they are not
+responsible (laws against bigamy or adultery, etc.).
+
+=Considering the Artificial Character of the Marriage Union=, and
+at the same time the psychological importance of its durability as far
+as the mental health of the off-spring is concerned, one of the most
+pressing duties of the community (and one which it never performs),
+should be to devise all the possible ways and means whereby the sex
+cravings of both mates could be helped to retain their freshness and
+strength as long as possible.
+
+=Attractiveness an Asset.= The first thought which should be forced
+into the minds of modern men and women is that attractiveness is a
+positive asset not only to woman but to man. In classic Greece, a
+man could not be merely good, he had to be beautiful too. By "good"
+the Greek meant "fit" but in the compound word which implied both
+qualities, _kalos_, beauty came first.
+
+Cravings being awakened and kept alive by certain fetishes, the
+individual should be trained to recognize his and his mate's fetishism
+and to make all possible efforts to retain, if necessary by artificial
+means, the fetishes which lead to the awakening of erotism between him
+and his mate.
+
+=The Average Man or Woman of Forty is a Sorry Sight.= Yet a
+little intelligence would compel them to retain or regain the physical
+idiosyncrasies they exhibited at the time of their marriage.
+
+Too many women consider it sinful to devote much time to their physical
+appearance and the care of their body. In a man, any attempt to make
+himself attractive is considered in stupid middle-class circles as a
+stigma of effeminacy.
+
+The "pretty" man has always been despised by men and women, and
+endocrinology has confirmed their judgment by revealing to us that he
+is a glandular weakling. Between the pretty man and the attractive man,
+however, there is a far cry.
+
+While the American movies, generally speaking, are catering to the
+weak-minded and the unimaginative, they have, in their search for a
+bait where-with to catch audiences, rendered mankind a signal service
+by starring the kind of man which would have passed muster in ancient
+Greece, beautiful and fit.
+
+=Athletic, if not Acrobatic, Movie Idols= present to the female part
+of the audience a complex of physical qualities which women will
+gradually demand from their mates. It is regrettable that women
+should not attend prize fights in large numbers, for the sight of the
+godlike participants in those affrays would force them to institute
+enlightening comparisons between professional fighters and the average
+male.
+
+Besides retaining or regaining their fetishes, human beings should make
+a special effort not to let those fetishes lose their power.
+
+=The Worst Foe of Married Happiness.= Balzac in his "Physiology of
+Marriage" says that the married have to wage a constant fight with a
+monster which devours everything: Habit. Every stimulus, as we know,
+pleasant or unpleasant, loses its power when applied continuously or
+too frequently.
+
+It is only for the first minute or so that the ice cold shower causes
+our naked skin to tingle with excitement. As soon as the reaction sets
+in and the capillaries fill with red blood, the pleasant sensation of
+the water needles becomes dulled.
+
+After holding our hand for a minute in hot water, we no longer
+realise the high temperature of the liquid and in order to continue
+to experience the feeling of heat we must continually raise the
+temperature of the water.
+
+And likewise we may grow so accustomed to one source of erotic
+stimulation that we become indifferent to it.
+
+=Friendship May Survive the Death of Sexual Love=, provided the sex
+desire has died in both mates at the same time. When desire dies off in
+the wife first and is not replaced by aversion, the situation may be
+very simple for she can still satisfy her more ardent mate and derive
+some gratification therefrom.
+
+When the man's desire dies first, on the other hand, there may arise
+unpleasant complications. A man may be impotent with a woman whom he
+loves tenderly but no longer desires sexually and yet be potent with
+some other woman to whom he is not completely "accustomed."
+
+Jealousy on the part of the wife may then prevent the advent of the
+platonic friendship which is not uncommon between old married mates,
+altho Montaigne denies the possibility of its existence.
+
+Modern mates, conscious of that danger, have now and then devised ways
+and means to combat Balzac's monster.
+
+Not so long ago a well-known woman writer announced that she was
+planning to marry a certain man with whom, however, she did not intend
+to live day after day. The experiment has many chances of success if
+jealousy does not complicate the situation.
+
+I suggested to reporters last summer, when two famous artists parted
+company, that their union might have been of longer duration if one of
+them had lived at the Plaza while the other was stopping at the St.
+Regis.
+
+=Married People Should Separate for Periods of Variable Duration= in
+order that a fresh stimulation may emanate from their fetishes when
+they meet again. By leading more individual lives and having separate
+sets of friends, they would, besides, bring to each other a new sort
+of mental pabulum and stimulation day after day. Conversation becomes
+futile and unnecessary between a husband and wife who always pay and
+receive calls together, attend the same spectacles and hence always see
+the same side of life. Now and then we read of couples who separate
+and a few years later remarry. Those few years spent apart from each
+other mean for both new experiences which enrich their mind and their
+conversation and make them again interesting to each other.
+
+=The Play Function of Love.= Another factor which the monstrous
+hypocrisy of puritanism makes very difficult to discuss openly and
+honestly and which wrecks many promising unions is the ignorance, more
+common than we suspect among married couples, of what Maurice Parmelee
+in his "Personality and Behavior" has called the Play Function of Love,
+a term which has been given a broader meaning by Havelock Ellis in an
+article for the _Medical Review of Reviews_ for March 1921.
+
+The average man or woman is tragically ignorant of the mission of sex.
+
+The average man, as Ellis writes, has two aims: "to prove that he is a
+man and to relieve a sexual tension.
+
+"He too often considers himself, from traditional habits, as the active
+partner in love and his own pleasure as the prime motive of the sex
+communion.
+
+"His wife, naturally adopts the complementary attitude, regards herself
+as the passive partner and her pleasure as negligible.
+
+"She has not mastered the art of love, with the result that her
+whole nature remains ill-developed and unharmonized, and that she
+is incapable of bringing her personality (having indeed no achieved
+personality to bring) to bear effectively on the problems of society
+and the world around her."
+
+I have described in "Sex Happiness" the tragedies which result from
+that form of ignorance, especially the tragedy of the unsatisfied wife,
+her restlessness, her gradual dislike of her mate, her curiosity as to
+what feelings she might experience if married to another man, when some
+other man seems to awaken her erotism, and then the dilemma, repression
+leading to neurosis, or indulgence leading into the divorce court.
+
+=Psychoanalysis to the Rescue.= "In this matter," Ellis writes,
+"we may learn a lesson from the psychoanalysts of today without
+any implication that psychoanalysis is necessarily a desirable or
+even possible way of attaining the revelation of love. The wiser
+psychoanalysts insist that the process of liberating the individual
+from outer and inner influences that repress or deform his energies and
+impulses is effected by removing the inhibitions on the free play of
+his nature.
+
+"It is a process of education in the true sense, not of the suppression
+of natural impulses nor even of the instillation of sound rules and
+maxims for their control, not of the pressing in but of the leading out
+of the individual's special tendencies.
+
+"It removes inhibitions, even inhibitions that were placed upon the
+individual, or that he consciously or unconsciously placed upon
+himself, with the best moral intentions, and by so doing it allows a
+larger and freer and more natively spontaneous morality to come into
+play.
+
+"It has this influence above all in the sphere of sex, where such
+inhibitions have been most powerfully laid on the native impulses,
+where the natural tendencies have been most surrounded by taboos and
+terrors, most tinged with artificial stains of impurity and degradation
+derived from alien and antiquated traditions.
+
+"Thus the therapeutical experience of the psychoanalysts reinforce
+the lessons we learn from physiology and psychology and the intimate
+experiences of life."
+
+=Wounded Egotism.= Love in marriage is endangered from another quarter:
+The greatest foe of sexual desire, as I have stated several times in
+this book, is wounded egotism.
+
+A perfect matrimonial adjustment does not mean the modification of
+either mate's personality. We have seen in the chapters on glands that
+the normal personality is practically inadaptable, that is, nothing
+short of serious sickness or a surgical operation can transform an
+active person into a sluggish one and vice versa.
+
+It is only the neurotic personality which can be adapted by the removal
+of certain unconscious fears which prevent it from attaining social and
+biological balance and happiness.
+
+All psychoanalysis does in such cases is to teach the patient to accept
+everything which is biologically normal in his personality.
+
+We must then have an absolute respect for personality in ourselves
+and others. We must find a socially acceptable outlet for all our
+idiosyncrasies, a difficult, but never impossible task.
+
+Lack of an outlet means a neurotic disturbance. The so-called
+adaptable people are those who succeed in repressing temporarily their
+cravings and denying their existence, a result which they attain at
+the cost of much suffering to themselves and, indirectly, to their
+environment.
+
+=Democracy in the Home= is the prerequisite of every perfect
+matrimonial adjustment.
+
+The autocratic government of the home by a male bully of a female nag
+leads to either a revolution (divorce) or to the destruction of human
+material after a bitter strife, (neurotic ailments).
+
+The bullied wife and the henpecked husband fill the offices of
+neurologists, gynaecologists, psychoanalysts and sexologists. This is
+the way in which the wounded ego of the defeated mate avenges itself.
+
+The defeated mate becomes sexually disabled.
+
+The results of maladjustment of the mates are strikingly summed up by
+Kempf in his monumental work "Psychopathology":
+
+"Upon marriage a subtle if not overt struggle occurs between the mates
+for the dominant position in the contract. The big, aggressive wife
+and the timid, little husband attest to the importance of organic
+superiority in the adjustment, but the average marriage does not show
+such organic differences. The sadistic or masochistic husband and the
+masochistic or sadistic wife will certainly adjust to please their
+reciprocating cravings, no matter what influence this may have upon
+their children, and a sadistic wife and sadistic husband, although both
+are cruel in their pleasures, will divorce each other on the charge
+of the other being cruel; but it is the commonplace adjustment which
+interests us most, because it is most predominant.
+
+"Nature places an unerring punishment upon the woman, who, by
+incessantly using every whim, scheme or artifice, finally succeeds
+in dominating her husband. By forcing him to submit to her thousand
+and one demands and coercions, within a few years, he unconsciously
+becomes a submissive type and loses his sexual potency with her as the
+love-object. If he does not have secret love interests which stimulate
+him to strive for power, he finally loses his initiative and sexual
+potency completely and must live always at a commonplace level, the
+servant of more virile men: the counterpart of the subdued impotent
+males of the animal herd.
+
+"His more aggressive, selfish mate, if periodically heterosexually
+erotic, will become neurotic if her moral restraints are insurpassable,
+or seek a new mate whom she will again attempt to subdue. Never is she
+able to realise that her selfishness makes her sexually unattractive.
+The psychopathologist meets many such women whose husbands have evaded
+domination by secretly depending upon the affections of another more
+suitably adjusted woman."
+
+In "The New Horizon in Love and Life," Mrs. Havelock Ellis writes "It
+is more than probable that the evolved relationship of the future will
+be monogamy--but a monogamy wider and more beautiful than the present
+caricature of it, as the sea is wider and more delicious than a duck
+pond.
+
+"The lifelong, faithful love of one man for one woman is the exception
+and not the rule. The law of affinity being as subtle and as
+indefinable as the law of gravitation, we may, by and by, find it worth
+while to give it its complete opportunity in those realms where it can
+manifest itself most potently. We are on the wrong bridge if we imagine
+that laxity is the easiest way to freedom. The bridge which will bear
+us must be strong enough to support us while experiments are tried.
+
+"What is the gospel in this matter of sexual emancipation for men
+and women in the new world where love has actually come of age? It
+is surely the complete economic independence of women. While man
+is economically free and woman still a slave, either physically,
+financially or spiritually, mankind as a whole must act as if
+blindness, maimness and deafness constituted health.
+
+"The complete independence of husband and wife is the gospel of the new
+era of marriage. This is the actual matter which philosophers, parents,
+philanthropists and pioneers so often ignore when teaching the new
+ideals of morality. When a woman is kept by a man she is not a free
+individuality either as child, wife or mistress. Imagine for a moment
+a man kept by a woman as women are kept by men and a sense of humor
+illuminates the absurdity of the situation between any class of evolved
+human beings."
+
+As a clever patient of mine whom I regret I cannot mention by name said
+one day: "married happiness, to be lasting, requires more than sexual
+cooperation of both mates, it must resolve itself into cooperative
+egotism."
+
+[Footnote 1: See Mary Sinclair's "The Life and Death of Harriet Freau."]
+
+[Footnote 2: Kings. I, 1-2.]
+
+[Footnote 3: Birth Control Review, April 1922.]
+
+
+                                THE END
+
+
+
+
+                                 INDEX
+
+
+  Abortion, 295
+
+  Active homosexuals, 167
+
+  Adler, 32, 41, 71, 115, 130, 132, 141, 142, 170, 192, 211, 225
+
+  Adrenals, 230
+
+  Adrenin, 6
+
+  Algolagnists, 188
+
+  Androgynes, 160
+
+  Animal love fights, 196
+
+  "Animal" types, 87
+
+  Antifetishes, 24, 25
+
+  Aphrodite, 195
+
+  Aristotle, 207
+
+  Atavism, 194
+
+  Attractiveness, 317
+
+  Auditory sensations, 57
+
+
+  Baby talk, 57
+
+  Balzac, 318
+
+  Basogas, 43
+
+  Bees in love, 52, 53
+
+  Beresford, 267
+
+  Berman, Dr. Louis, 228
+
+  Bernhardt, Sarah, 100
+
+  Bloch, Iwan, 88
+
+  Blood relations, 47
+
+  Bonaparte, 192
+
+  Bored wives, 89
+
+  Boredom, 212
+
+  Bottle-fed men, 20
+
+  Bovary, Madame, 91
+
+  Brain, cells, 16
+    function of the, 7
+    operations on a dog's, 13
+
+  Breast-fed men, 20
+
+  Brothers and sisters, 78
+
+  Brutus, 82
+
+  Business women, 279
+
+
+  Cæsar, 180
+
+  Calf love, 54
+
+  Cannon, 10
+
+  Chicago Vice Report, 108
+
+  Childish behavior, 158
+
+  Choice, meaning of, 11, 12
+
+  Cigar smoking, 59
+
+  Clean lives, 264
+
+  Climacteric, 312
+
+  Community's criticism, 256
+
+  Contraception, 294
+
+  Conversation, 321
+
+  Cooperative egotism, 328
+
+  Copepods, behavior of, 15
+
+  Craig's Birds, 40
+
+  Crile, 63
+
+  Cybela, 196
+
+
+  Dark Types, 234
+
+  Darwin, 45
+
+  Death dreams, 75
+
+  Death wishes, 73, 74
+
+  Delage, 308
+
+  Deluded martyrs, 81
+
+  Delusional jealousy, 147
+
+  Democracy in the home, 325
+
+  Demosthenes, 83
+
+  Descartes, 162
+
+  Displacement upward, 6
+
+  Dissatisfied people, 216
+
+  Divorces in the art world, 221
+
+  Doll type, 284
+
+  Don Juan, 92, 94, 139
+
+  Double standard, 302
+
+  Ductless glands, 225
+
+  Duncan, Isadora, 100
+
+
+  Economic exhibitionism, 69
+
+  Eddy, Mary Baker, 265
+
+  Effeminacy, 317
+
+  Ego rampant, 139
+
+  Electrical exchanges, 60, 63
+
+  Ellis, Havelock, 88, 177, 286, 305, 321
+
+  Ellis, Mrs. Havelock, 327
+
+  Endocrinologists, 226
+
+  Environment, 236
+
+  Erotropism, 4
+
+  Ethical prostitution, 113
+
+  Eulenburg, Albert, 162, 194
+
+
+  Fatherhood cravings, 69
+
+  Fear of accidents, 76
+
+  Fear of woman, 114
+
+  Female artists, 218
+
+  Feminine refinement, 277
+
+  Ferenczi, 148 sqq.
+
+  Fetishes, list of, 19, 20
+    feminine, 21
+    masculine, 21
+    non-physical, 24, 25
+
+  Fiji Islands, 42
+
+  First Night, the right of the, 68
+
+  Fixation, parent, 30, 31, sqq.
+
+  Flappers, 247, 248
+
+  Flattery, 218, 219, 220
+
+  Flirt, the, 285
+
+  Foot Fetishism, 18, 22
+    symbolism, 24
+
+  Forel 134
+
+  Frazer, 44
+
+  Freud, 23, 24, 31, 42, 49, 62, 140, 164, 165, 211, 225, 267, 297
+
+  Friedlander, Benedikt, 183
+
+  Friendship, 319
+
+  Frigid wives, 245
+
+  Frink, 137
+
+
+  Galvanotropism, 4
+
+  Genesis, 43
+
+  Gerontophilia, 24
+
+  Getting even, 90
+
+  Glands, 34
+
+  Glandular drunkenness, 193
+
+  Glandular insufficiency, 203
+
+  Glove fetishism, 205
+
+  Goldschmidt, Jules, 116
+
+  Gonads, 231
+
+  Greek Gods, 156
+
+  Griseldis, 195
+
+  Gross, Dr. Otto, 184
+
+
+  Habit, 310
+
+  Hair Fetishism, 17, 26, 27
+
+  Heart, physiology of the, 5
+
+  Heredity, 34
+
+  Hirschfeld, Magnus, 158, 186
+
+  Hirth, George, 88, 89
+
+  Holding hands, 60
+
+  Homosexual tragedies, 179
+
+  Husbands and lovers, 141
+
+
+  Ideal Love, 269
+
+  Identification mania, 35, 36
+
+  Imitation, 33
+
+  Immodest modesty, 127
+
+  Impotence, 26
+
+  Inbreeding, 44
+
+  Incest fear, 42
+
+  Independent women, 281
+
+  Infidelity, 85
+
+  Institution children, 101
+
+
+  Jack the Ripper, 197
+
+  Jealousy and impotence, 137
+
+  Jesus, 67
+
+  Jung, 32, 33, 225
+
+
+  Kempf, 173, 325
+
+  Kenealy, Dr. Arabella, 303
+
+  King David, 261
+
+  Kiss, 60, 61
+
+  Krafft-Ebing, 162
+
+  Kronos, 195
+
+
+  Lean types, 235
+
+  Leonardo da Vinci, 180
+
+  Lesbian Love, 156
+
+  Loeb, Jacques, 307 sqq.
+
+  Lombroso, 105
+
+  Lorand, 259
+
+  Love, a compulsion, 10
+
+  Lover, the successful, 52
+    the unsuccessful, 53
+
+  Lovers of the absolute, 271
+
+
+  Male artists, 218
+
+  Male lovers, 156
+
+  Male prostitutes, 109
+
+  Marriage, a compromise, 315
+
+  Masculine protest, 130
+
+  Masked Sadism, 154
+
+  Masoch, Leopold von Sacher, 200 sqq.
+
+  Masochistic husbands, 206
+
+  Matriarchal communities, 311
+
+  Matrimonial Engineers, 238
+
+  Messalina, 94
+
+  Metatropism, 161
+
+  Michael Angelo, 176
+
+  Michaelis, Karin, 313
+
+  Michelet, 284
+
+  Milch cows, 293
+
+  Milk, 59
+
+  Mind, seat of the, 6, 7
+
+  Mobs, 198
+
+  Moreau de Tours, 189
+
+  Movie Idols, 318
+
+  Movies, 57
+
+
+  Naked male dancers, 123
+
+  Narcism, 167
+
+  Negative Love, 176
+
+  Negro Haters, 79
+
+  Nerve memory, 8
+
+  Nerves, 50
+
+  Neurotic frigidity, 70
+
+  Neurotic Life Plan, 33
+
+  Neurotic motherliness, 71
+
+  Neurotic mothers, 249, 296
+
+  Nietzsche, 180
+
+  Nurses, 39
+
+
+  Obscene talkers, 132
+
+  Obsessions, 27
+
+  Oedipus Complex, 30
+
+  Old fashioned women, 275
+
+  Oracles, 266
+
+  Organism, unity of, 49, 50, 51
+
+
+  Paranoiacs, 147
+
+  Parent-Child Relationship, 223
+
+  Parmelee, Maurice, 321
+
+  Passive homosexuals, 167
+
+  Perfect Mothers, 246
+
+  Personality, 239
+
+  Personality, respect for the, 324
+
+  Perverse birds, 164
+
+  Phototropism, 3
+
+  Physical incompatibility, 254
+
+  Pimps, 109
+
+  Pituitary, 228
+
+  Plato, 155
+
+  Platonic love, 63
+
+  Play function of love, 321
+
+  Plural love, 84
+
+  Polyandry, 84
+
+  Potter, Grace, 299
+
+  Preferences, 39
+
+  Pregnancy and Health, 242
+
+  Priapism, 84
+
+  Primal horde, 45
+
+  Primitive races, 42
+
+  Prize fights, 318
+
+  Prohibition, 81
+
+  Projection, 153
+
+  Proud husbands, 289
+
+  Psychoanalysis, 322
+
+  Puritanical males, 129
+
+
+  Rebellion against nature, 277
+
+  Reformers, 80
+
+  Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 207
+
+  Rules for husbands, 134
+
+
+  Sade, Marquis de, 189 sqq.
+
+  Sadistic lovers, 213
+
+  Sadistic mates, 215
+
+  Sadzer, 166
+
+  Safety devices, 170
+
+  Safety symbols, 97
+
+  Sallow Type, 235
+
+  Sanger, Margaret, 300 sqq.
+
+  Sapho, 155
+
+  Savages, modesty among, 123
+
+  Schneider, Kurt, 105
+
+  Schopenhauer, 182
+
+  Schroeder, Theodore, 265
+
+  Sea urchins, 308
+
+  Self love, 67
+
+  Sensuality, 107
+
+  Sexless jealousy, 140
+
+  Sexless persons, 208
+
+  Sexual Libido, 65
+
+  Shaw, G. B., 276 sqq.
+
+  Shoe fetishism, 18, 22, 205
+    symbolism, 24
+
+  Sight, 56
+
+  Sinclair, May, 268
+
+  Skooptsy, 208
+
+  Slender types, 236
+
+  Smell, 58
+
+  Social pressure, 237
+
+  Socrates, 155
+
+  Sour grapes, 77
+
+  Steinach, 163 sqq.
+
+  Stekel, Wilhelm, 128, 160, 170, 183
+
+  Sublimation, 267
+
+  Suggestive draperies, 125
+
+  Suttee custom, 142
+
+  Syphilophobiacs, 80
+
+
+  Tall types, 235
+
+  Taste, 59
+
+  Teeth, 237
+
+  Telegony, 116
+
+  Test of love, 75
+
+  Third sex, 158 sqq.
+
+  Thyroid, 230
+
+  Touch, 60
+
+  Transvestites, 159
+
+  Triplets, 310
+
+  Twins, 309
+
+  Type, parent, 39
+
+
+  Ultrafeminine, 93
+
+  Unadapted women, 288
+
+  Uniform fetishism, 25
+
+
+  Vamps, 213
+
+  Varietism, 84
+
+  Vital Force, 266
+
+  Vomiting, in pregnancy, 243
+
+  Von Kupfer, 181, 182
+
+
+  Wagner, 252
+
+  Walker, Dr. Mary, 160
+
+  War prisoners, 70
+
+  Whipping, 202
+
+  Wifehood, a profession, 282
+
+  Wilde, Oscar, 180
+
+  Will-to-be-the-first, 115
+
+  Winckelman, 176
+
+  Wise husbands, 306
+
+  Women Sadists, 210
+
+  Women who enjoy a beating, 209
+
+  Wounded egotism, 324
+
+  Wulffen, 193
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Psychoanalysis and Love, by André Tridon
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 61124 ***