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diff --git a/old/fmjst10.txt b/old/fmjst10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..65adffc --- /dev/null +++ b/old/fmjst10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,16029 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of From Jest to Earnest, by E. P. Roe +#9 in our series by E. P. Roe + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: From Jest to Earnest + +Author: E. P. Roe + +Release Date: July, 2004 [EBook #6102] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on November 6, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FROM JEST TO EARNEST *** + + + + +This eBook was created by Charles Aldarondo + + + + + +The Works of E. P. ROE + +FROM JEST TO EARNEST + + + + + + + +DEDICATION. + + + + + +This book is dedicated in fraternal affection to the friend of my +youth and maturer years--the REV. A. MOSS MERWIN, who, with every +avenue of earthly ambition open to him at home, and with every +motive urged upon him to remain at home, has been for years, and +is now, a faithful missionary in a foreign land. + + + + + + +CONTENTS + + + + + +CHAPTER I. A PRACTICAL JOKE + +CHAPTER II. THE VICTIM + +CHAPTER III. PUZZLED AND INTERESTED + +CHAPTER IV. A LITTLE PAGAN + +CHAPTER V. PLAIN TALK + +CHAPTER VI. A SLEIGH-RIDE AND SOMETHING MORE + +CHAPTER VII. ANOTHER SPELL THAN BEAUTY'S + +CHAPTER VIII. FINDING ONE'S LEVEL + +CHAPTER IX. "THE OTHER SET" + +CHAPTER X. HUMAN NATURE + +CHAPTER XI. A POSSIBLE TRAGEDY + +CHAPTER XII. MISS MARSDEN ASKS SOMBRE QUESTIONS + +CHAPTER XIII. A LOVER QUENCHED + +CHAPTER XIV. LOTTIE A MYSTERIOUS PROBLEM + +CHAPTER XV. HEMSTEAD SEES "OUR SET" + +CHAPTER XVI. HOW WOMAN MAKES OR MARS + +CHAPTER XVII. MIDNIGHT VIGILS + +CHAPTER XVIII. HEMSTEAD'S HEAVY GUN AND ITS RECOIL + +CHAPTER XIX. THE PREACHER TAUGHT BY THE PAGAN + +CHAPTER XX. THE DAWNING LIGHT + +CHAPTER XXI. MISUNDERSTOOD + +CHAPTER XXII. "YOU MUST WAIT AND SEE" + +CHAPTER XXIII. A RATIONALIST OF THE OLD SCHOOL + +CHAPTER XXIV. THE TERROR OF A GREAT FEAR + +CHAPTER XXV. A TRUE KNIGHT + +CHAPTER XXVI. ON A CRUMBLING ICE-FLOE + +CHAPTER XXVII. THE MEETING AND GREETING + +CHAPTER XXVIII. THE TRIAL OF LOVE + +CHAPTER XXIX. HEMSTEAD'S ADVICE, AND LOTTIE'S COLORS + +CHAPTER XXX. AROUND THE YULE-LOG + +CHAPTER XXXI. UNDER THE MISTLETOE + +CHAPTER XXXII. THE CHRISTMAS SUNDAY + +CHAPTER XXXIII. THE END OF THE "JEST" + +CHAPTER XXXIV. LOYAL + +CHAPTER XXXV. MR. DIMMERLY CONCLUDES TO "MEDDLE" + +CHAPTER XXXVI. A NIGHT IN THE SNOW + +CHAPTER XXXVII. IN EARNEST + + + + + + +FROM JEST TO EARNEST. + +CHAPTER I. + +A PRACTICAL JOKE. + + + + + +On a cloudy December morning a gentleman, two ladies, and a boy +stepped down from the express train at a station just above the +Highlands on the Hudson. A double sleigh, overflowing with luxurious +robes, stood near, and a portly coachman with difficulty restrained +his spirited horses while the little party arranged themselves for +a winter ride. Both the ladies were young, and the gentleman's +anxious and almost tender solicitude for one of them seemed hardly +warranted by her blooming cheeks and sprightly movements. A close +observer might soon suspect that his assiduous attentions were +caused by a malady of his own rather than by indisposition on her +part. + +The other young lady received but scant politeness, though seemingly +in greater need of it. But the words of Scripture applied to +her beautiful companion, "Whosoever hath, to him shall be given, +and he shall have more abundance." She had been surfeited all her +life with attention, and though she would certainly have felt its +absence, as she would the loss of wealth, life-long familiarity +with both led her to place no special value upon them. + +Therefore during the half-hour's ride her spirits rose with the +rapid motion, and even the leaden sky and winter's bleakness could +not prevent the shifting landscape from being a source of pleasure +to her city eyes, while the devotion of her admirer or lover was +received as a matter of course. + +The frosty air brought color into her companion's usually pale +face, but not of an attractive kind, for the north-east wind that +deepened the vermilion in the beauty's cheek could only tinge that +of the other with a ghastly blue. The delicate creature shivered +and sighed. + +"I wish we were there." + +"Really, Bel, I sometimes think your veins are filled with water +instead of blood. It's not cold to-day, is it, Mr. De Forrest?" + +"Well, all I can say with certainty," he replied, "is that I have +been in a glow for the last two hours. I thought it was chilly +before that." + +"You are near to 'glory' then," cried the boy saucily, from his +perch on the driver's box. + +"Of course I am," said Mr. De Forrest in a low tone, and leaning +towards the maiden. + +"You are both nearer being silly," she replied, pettishly. "Dan, +behave yourself, and speak when you are spoken to." + +The boy announced his independence of sisterly control by beginning +to whistle, and the young lady addressed as "Bel" remarked, "Mr. +De Forrest is no judge of the weather under the circumstances. He +doubtless regards the day as bright and serene. But he was evidently +a correct judge up to the time he joined you, Lottie." + +"He joined you as much as he did me." + +"O, pardon me; yes, I believe I was present." + +"I hope I have failed in no act of politeness, Miss Bel," said De +Forrest, a little stiffly. + +"I have no complaints to make. Indeed, I have fared well, considering +that one is sometimes worse than a crowd." + +"Nonsense!" said Lottie, petulantly; and the young man tried not +to appear annoyed. + +The sleigh now dashed in between rustic gate-posts composed of rough +pillars of granite; and proceeding along an avenue that sometimes +skirted a wooded ravine, and again wound through picturesque groupings +of evergreens, they soon reached a mansion of considerable size, +which bore evidence of greater age than is usual with the homes in +our new world. + +They had hardly crossed the threshold into the hall before they +were hospitably welcomed by a widowed lady, whose hair was slightly +tinged with gray, and by her eldest daughter. + +The greetings were so cordial as to indicate ties of blood, and +the guests were shown to their rooms, and told to prepare for an +early dinner. + +In brief, Mrs. Marchmont, the mistress of the mansion, had gratified +her daughter's wish (as she did all her fancies) by permitting her +to invite a number of young friends for the Christmas holidays. +Both mother and daughter were fond of society, and it required no +hospitable effort to welcome visitors at a season when a majority +of their friends had fled from the dreariness of winter to city +homes. Indeed, they regarded it as almost an honor that so prominent +a belle as Charlotte Marsden had consented to spend a few weeks +with them at a time when country life is at a large discount with +the fashionable. They surmised that the presence of Mr. De Forrest, +a distant relative of both Miss Marsden and themselves, would be +agreeable to all concerned, and were not mistaken; and to Miss +Lottie the presence of a few admirers--she would not entertain the +idea that they were lovers--had become an ordinary necessity of +life. Mr. De Forrest was an unusually interesting specimen of the +genus,--handsome, an adept in the mode and etiquette of the hour, +attentive as her own shadow, and quite as subservient. + +His love-making would equal his toilet in elegance. All would be +delicately suggested by touch of hand or glance of eye, and yet he +would keep pace with the wild and wayward beauty in as desperate +a flirtation as she would permit. + +Miss Lottie had left her city home with no self-sacrificing purpose +to become a martyr for the sake of country relatives. She had +wearied of the familiar round of metropolitan gayety; but life on +the Hudson during midwinter was an entire novelty. Therefore, as +her little brother had been included in the invitation, they had +started on what was emphatically a frolic to both. + +Bel Parton, her companion, was another city cousin of the Marchmonts, +with whom they were in the habit of exchanging visits. She was +also an intimate of Lottie's, the two being drawn together by the +mysterious affinity of opposites. + +She was indeed a very different girl from Lottie Marsden, and many +would regard her as a better one. Her face and character were of a +type only too familiar to close observers of society. She was the +beginning of several desirable things, but the pattern was in no +instance finished, and was always ravelling out on one side or the +other. She had the features of a pretty girl, but ill health and +the absence of a pleasing expression spoiled them. She had a fine +education, but did not know what to do with it; considerable talent, +but no energy; too much conscience, as she had not the resolution +to obey it. Her life was passed mainly in easy chairs, chronic +dyspepsia, and feeble protest against herself and all the world. + +Lottie often half provoked but never roused her by saying: "Bel, +you are the most negative creature I ever knew. Why don't you do +something or be something out and out? Well, ''Tis an ill wind +that blows nobody any good.' You make an excellent foil for me." + +And gloriously rich and tropical did Lottie appear against the +colorless background of her friend. Bel felt that she suffered +by the comparison so frankly indicated, but was too indolent and +irresolute to change for the better or avoid companionship with +one whose positive and full-blooded nature seemed to supplement +her own meagre life. + +When all appeared in the dining-room the shades and contrasts in +character became more evident. At the head of the table sat a gentleman +as yet not introduced, Mr. Dimmerly by name, a bachelor brother +of Mrs. Marchmont who resided with her. He was a quaint-appearing +little man, who in a greater degree than his age required seemed +to belong to a former generation. His manners were too stately for +his stature, and he was embarrassed by his elaborate efforts at +politeness as his movements might have been by too ample garments. + +He and his sister were representatives of one of the "old families" +of the State, and, like their mansion, reminded one of the past. +Indeed, they seemed to cherish, as a matter of pride and choice, +their savor of antiquity, instinctively recognizing that their +claims upon society were inherited rather than earned. + +Old families do not always appear to accumulate the elements of +greatness to such a degree that there is an increasing and almost +irresistible impetus of force and genius. Successive generations +are not necessarily born to a richer dower of mind and morals. +Too often it would seem that the great qualities that in the first +place launched a family on a brilliant career expend themselves, +until the latest scion, like a spent arrow, drops into insignificance. + +Mrs. Marchmont was regarded by society as an elegant woman, and +she was, in all externals. The controlling principle of her life +was precedent. What had been customary, and still obtained among +the "good old families," had a flavor of divine right in it. + +Alas for the Marchmont family, for the young lady of the house +seemed inclined to maintain and perpetuate nothing save her own +will, and had no special development in any respect, save a passion +for her own way. Still she was one of those girls whom society calls +a "pretty little thing," and was predestined to marry some large, +good-natured man who would imagine that she would make a nice +little pet, a household fairy, but who might learn to his dismay +that the fairy could be a tormenting elf. She would not marry +the young gentleman with whom her name was at present associated +by the gossips, and who had driven over that morning to help her +entertain the expected guests. Mr. Harcourt and Miss Marchmont +understood each other. He was a distant relative of her mother's, +and so under the disguise of kinship could be very familiar. +The tie between them was composed of one part friendship and two +parts flirtation. He had recently begun the practice of law in a +neighboring town, and found the Marchmont residence a very agreeable +place at which to spend his leisure. It was Miss Marchmont's +purpose that he should form one of the gay party that would make +the holiday season a prolonged frolic. He, nothing loath, accepted +the invitation, and appeared in time for dinner. To many he seemed +to possess a dual nature. He had a quick, keen intellect, and, +during business hours, gave an absorbed attention to his profession. +At other times he was equally well known as a sporting man, with +tendencies somewhat fast. + +Mrs. Marchmont's well-appointed dining-room was peculiarly attractive +that wintry day. Finished off in some dark wood on which the ruddy +hickory fire glistened warmly, it made a pleasing contrast to the +cold whiteness of the snow without. A portly colored waiter in dress +coat seemed the appropriate presiding genius of the place, and in +his ebon hands the polished silver and crystal were doubly luminous. + +And yet the family, with its lack of original force, its fading +traditions of past greatness, made rather a dim and neutral tint, +against which such a girl as Charlotte Marsden appeared as the +glowing embodiment of the vivid and intense spirit of the present +age. Her naturally energetic and mercurial nature had been cradled +among the excitements of the gayest and giddiest city on the continent. +A phlegmatic uncle had remarked to her, in view of inherited and +developed characteristics, "Lottie, what in ordinary girls is a +soul, in you is a flame of fire." + +As she sat at the table, doing ample justice to the substantial +viands, she did appear as warm and glowing as the coals of hard-wood, +which, ripened in the sunshine, lay upon the hearth opposite. + +The bon-vivant, Julian De Forrest, found time for many admiring +glances, of which Lottie was as agreeably conscious as of the other +comforts and luxuries of the hour. They were all very much upon +the same level in her estimation. + +But De Forrest would ask no better destiny than to bask in the light +and witchery of so glorious a creature. Little did he understand +himself or her, or the life before him. It would have been a woful +match for both. In a certain sense he would be like the ambitious +mouse that espoused the lioness. The polished and selfish idler, +with a career devoted to elegant nothings, would fret and chafe +such a nature as hers into almost frenzy, had she no escape from +him. + +There would be fewer unhappy marriages if the young, instead +of following impulses and passing fancies, would ask, How will +our lives accord when our present tendencies and temperaments are +fully developed? It would need no prophetic eye to foresee in many +cases, not supplemental and helpful differences, but only hopeless +discord. Yet it is hard for a romantic youth to realize that the +smiling maiden before him, with a cheek of peach-bloom and eyes +full of mirth and tenderness, can become as shrewish as Xantippe +herself. And many a woman becomes stubborn and acid, rather than +sweet, by allowing herself to be persuaded into marrying the wrong +man, and then by not having the good sense to make the best of it. + +Alas! experience also proves that, of all prosaic, selfish grumblers, +your over-gallant lover makes the worst. And yet, while the world +stands, multitudes will no doubt eagerly seek the privilege of +becoming mutual tormentors. + +Lottie thought Mr. De Forrest "very nice." She liked him better than +any one else she had met and flirted with since her school-days, +during which period of sincerity and immaturity she had had several +acute attacks of what she imagined to be the "grand passion." But +as the objects were as absurd as her emotions, and the malady soon +ran, its course, she began to regard the whole subject as a jest, +and think, with her fashionable mother, that the heart was the last +organ to be consulted in the choice of a husband, as it was almost +sure to lead to folly. While her heart slept, it was easy to agree +with her mother's philosophy. But it would be a sad thing for +Charlotte Marsden if her heart should become awakened when her will +or duty was at variance with its cravings. She might act rightly, +she might suffer in patience, but it would require ten times the +effort that the majority of her sex would have to make. + +Her mother thought that the elegant and wealthy Mr. De Forrest was +the very one of all the city for her beautiful daughter, and Lottie +gave a careless assent, for certainly he was "very nice." He would +answer, as well as any one she had ever seen, for the inevitable +adjunct of her life. He had always united agreeably the characters +of cousin, playmate, and lover, and why might he not add that of +husband? But for the latter relation she was in no haste. Time +enough for that in the indefinite future. She loved the liberty +and year-long frolic of her maiden life, though in truth she had no +idea of settling down on becoming a matron. In the mean time, while +she laughed at De Forrest's love-making, she did not discourage it, +and the young man felt that his clear understanding with the mother +was almost equal to an engagement to the daughter. He welcomed this +country visit with peculiar satisfaction, feeling that it would +bring matters to a crisis. He was not mistaken. + +By the time they were sipping their coffee after dessert, the promise +of the leaden sky of the morning was fulfilled in a snow-storm, not +consisting of feathery flakes that fluttered down as if undecided +where to alight, but of sharp, fine crystals that slanted steadily +from the north-east. The afternoon sleigh-ride must be given up, +and even the children looked ruefully and hopelessly out, and then +made the best of in-door amusements. + +Miss Marchmont gathered her guests around the parlor fire, and fancy +work and city gossip were in order. The quiet flow and ripple of +small talk was suddenly interrupted by her petulant exclamation: + +"Oh! I forgot to tell you a bit of unpleasant news. Mother, +without consulting me, has invited a poor and poky cousin of ours +to spend the holidays with us also. He is from the West, green as +a gooseberry, and, what's far worse, he's studying for the ministry, +and no doubt will want to preach at us all the time. I don't know +when I've been more provoked, but mother said it was too late, she +had invited him, and he was coming. I fear he will be a dreadful +restraint, a sort of wet blanket on all our fun, for one must be +polite, you know, in one's own house." + +"I am under no special obligation to be polite," laughed Lottie. +"Mark my words. I will shock your pious and proper cousin till he +is ready to write a book on total depravity. It will be good sport +till I am tired of it." + +"No, Lottie, you shall not give such a false impression of yourself, +even in a joke," said Bel. "I will tell him, if he can't see, that +you are not a sinner above all in Galilee." + +"No, my matter-of-fact cousin, you shall not tell him anything. +Why should I care what he thinks? Already in fancy I see his face +elongate, and his eyes dilate, in holy horror at my wickedness. If +there is one thing I love to do more than another, it is to shock +your eminently good and proper people." + +"Why, Miss Lottie," chuckled De Forrest, "to hear you talk, one +would think you were past praying for." + +"No, not till I am married." + +"In that sense I am always at my devotions." + +"Perhaps you had better read the fable of the Frogs and King Stork." + +"Thank you. I had never dared to hope that you regarded me as good +enough to eat." + +"No, only to peck at." + +"But listen to Miss Addie's proposal. If I mistake not, there is +no end of fun in it," said Mr. Harcourt. + +"I've thought of something better than shocking him. These Western +men are not easily shocked. They see all kinds out there. What I +suggest would be a better joke, and give us all a chance to enjoy +the sport. Suppose, Lottie, you assume to be the good and pious +one of our party, and in this character form his acquaintance. He +will soon be talking religion to you, and like enough, making love +and wanting you to go with him as a missionary to the Cannibal +Islands." + +"If you go, O that I were king of them!" broke in De Forrest. + +"You mean, you would have Lottie for dinner, I suppose," continued +Miss Marchmont. "She would be served up properly as a tart." + +"No," he retorted, "as sauce piquante. She could make a long life +a highly seasoned feast." + +"You evidently are an Epicurean philosopher; all your thoughts seem +to run on eating," said Lottie, sharply. + +"But what say you to my suggestion?" asked Addie Marchmont. "I think +it would be one of the best practical jokes I ever knew. The very +thought of such an incorrigible witch as you palming yourself off +as a demure Puritan maiden is the climax of comical absurdity." + +Even Lottie joined heartily in the general laugh at her expense, +and the preposterous imposition she was asked to attempt, but +said dubiously: "I fear I could not act successfully the role of +Puritan maiden, when I have always been in reality just the opposite. +And yet it would be grand sport to make the attempt, and a decided +novelty. But surely your cousin cannot be so verdant but that he +would soon see through our mischief and detect the fraud." + +"Well," replied Addie, "Frank, as I remember him, is a singularly +unsuspicious mortal. Even as a boy his head was always in the +clouds. He has not seen much society save that of his mother and +an old-maid sister. Moreover, he is so dreadfully pious, and life +with him such a solemn thing, that unless we are very bungling he +will not even imagine such frivolity, as he would call it, until +the truth is forced upon him. Then there will be a scene. You will +shock him then, Lottie, to your heart's content. He will probably +tell you that he is dumbfounded, and that he would not believe that +a young woman in this Christian land could trifle with such solemn +realities,--that is, himself and his feelings." + +"But I don't think it would be quite right," protested Bel, feebly. + +Mr. Harcourt lifted his eyebrows. + +"Nonsense! Suppose it is not," said Lottie, impatiently. + +"But, Addie," persisted Bel, "he will be your guest." + +"No he won't. He's mother's guest, and I feel like punishing them +both." + +"Very well," said Lottie, lightly; "if you have no scruples, I +have none. It will be capital sport, and will do him good. It would +be an excellent thing for his whole theological seminary if they +could have a thorough shaking up by the wicked world, which to him, +in this matter, I shall represent. They would then know what they +were preaching about. What do you say, Julian?" + +"When did I ever disagree with you?" he replied, gallantly. "But +in this case I really think we owe Miss Addie a vote of thanks for +having hit upon a joke that may enliven the greater part of our +visit. This embryo parson seems a sort of a scriptural character; +and why should he not blindly, like Samson, make sport for us all?" + +"I fear you do not understand your own scriptural allusion," +sneered Bel. "Like Samson, he may also pull everything down about +our ears in a most uncomfortable manner." + +"I hope you won't spoil everything by telling him or mother," said +Addie, petulantly. + +"Oh, no! Since you are determined upon it, I will look on and see +the fun, if there is any. But, bah! He will find you all out in +a day. As for Lottie palming herself off as a goodish young woman +to whom any sane man would talk religion,--the very thought is +preposterous!" + +"Don't be too confident, Miss Bel," said Lottie, put upon her mettle. +"If you all will only sustain me and not awaken his suspicions with +your by-play and giggling, I will deceive the ingenuous youth in +a way that will surprise you as well as him. Good acting must have +proper support. This is something new,--out of the rut; and I am +bound to make it a brilliant jest that we can laugh over all our +lives. So remember, Julian, you will disconcert me at your peril." + +"No fears of me. So long as your jest remains a jest, I will be +the last one to spoil the sport." + +With a chime of laughter that echoed to the attic of the old mansion, +Lottie exclaimed, "The idea that I could ever become in earnest!" + +"But the young clergyman may become dead in earnest," said Bel, who +seemed the embodiment of a troublesome but weak conscience. "You +know well, Mr. De Forrest, that Lottie's blandishments may be fatal +to his peace." + +"That is his affair," replied the confident youth, with a careless +shrug. + +Having arranged the details of the plot and been emphatically +cautioned by Lottie, they awaited their victim. + + + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE VICTIM. + + + + + +Frank Hemstead was expected on the evening train from the north, +so the conspirators would not have long to wait. To pass the brief +intervening time Lottie went to the piano and gave them some music +like herself, brilliant, dashing, off-hand, but devoid of sentiment +and feeling. Then she sprang up and began playing the maddest +pranks on languid Bel, and with Addie was soon engaged in a romp +with De Forrest and Harcourt, that would have amazed the most +festive Puritan that ever schooled or masked a frolicsome nature +under the sombre deportment required. The young men took their cue +from the ladies, and elegance and propriety were driven away in +shreds before the gale of their wild spirits. Poor Bel, buffeted +and helpless, half-enjoying, half-frightened, protested, cried, +and laughed at the tempest around her. + +"I mean," said Lottie, panting after a desperate chase among the +furniture, "to have one more spree, like the topers before they +reform." + +Though these velvety creatures with their habits of grace and elegance +could romp without roughness, and glide where others would tear +around, they could not keep their revel so quiet but that hurrying +steps were heard. Bel warned them, and, before Mrs. Marchmont could +enter, Lottie was playing a waltz, and the others appeared as if +they had been dancing. The lady of precedent smiled, whereas if +she had come a moment earlier she would have been horrified. + +But the glow from the hearth, uncertain enough for their innocent +deeds of darkness, had now to fade before the chandelier, and Mrs. +Marchmont, somewhat surprised at the rumpled plumage of the young +ladies, and the fact that Mr. De Forrest's neck-tie was awry, +suggested that they retire and prepare for supper, whereat they +retreated in literal disorder. But without the door their old +frenzy seized them, and they nearly ran over the dilatory Bel upon +the stairs. With sallies of nonsense, smothered laughter, a breezy +rustle of garments, and the rush of swift motion, they seemed to +die away in the upper halls like a summer gust. To Mrs. Marchmont +their departure had seemed like a suppressed whirlwind. + +"The young people of my day were more decorous," soliloquized the +lady, complacently. "But then the De Forrests have French blood in +them, and what else could you expect? It's he that sets them off." + +The sound of approaching sleigh-bells hastened the young people's +toilets, and when they descended the stairs, this time like +a funeral procession, a tall figure, with one side that had been +to the windward well sifted over with snow, was just entering the +hall. + +Mrs. Marchmont welcomed him with as much warmth as she ever permitted +herself to show. She was a good and kind lady at heart, only she +insisted upon covering the natural bloom and beauty of her nature +with the artificial enamel of mannerism and conventionality. During +the unwrapping process the young people stood in the background, +but Lottie watched the emergence from overcoat and muffler of the +predestined victim of her wiles with more than ordinary curiosity. + +The first thing that impressed her was his unusual height, and +the next a certain awkwardness and angularity. When he came to +be formally presented, his diffidence and lack of ease were quite +marked. Bel greeted him with a distant inclination of her head, +De Forrest also vouchsafed merely one of his slightest bows, while +Harcourt stood so far away that he was scarcely introduced at +all; but Lottie went demurely forward and put her warm hand in his +great cold one, and said, looking up shyly, "I think we are sort +of cousins, are we not?" + +He blushed to the roots of his hair and stammered that he hoped +so. + +Indeed, this exquisite vision appearing from the shadows of the +hall, and claiming kinship, might have disconcerted a polished +society man; and the conspirators retired into the gloom to hide +their merriment. + +As the stranger, in his bashful confusion, did not seem to know +for the moment what to do with her hand, and was inclined to keep +it, for in fact it was warming, or, rather, electrifying him, she +withdrew it, exclaiming, "How cold you are! You must come with me +to the fire at once." + +He followed her with a rather bewildered expression, but his large +gray eyes were full of gratitude for her supposed kindness, even +if his unready tongue was slow in making graceful acknowledgment. + +"Supper will be ready in a few moments, Frank," said his aunt, +approaching them and rather wondering at Lottie's friendliness. +"Perhaps you had better go at once to your room and prepare. You +will find it warm," and she glanced significantly at his rumpled +hair and general appearance of disorder, the natural results of a +long journey. + +He started abruptly, blushed as if conscious of having forgotten +something, and timidly said to Lottie, "Will you excuse me?" + +"Yes," she replied sweetly, "for a little while." + +He again blushed deeply and for a second indulged in a shy glance +of curiosity at the "cousin" who spoke so kindly. Then, as if +guilty of an impropriety, he seized a huge carpet-bag as if it +were a lady's reticule. But remembering that her eyes were upon +him, he tried to cross the hall and mount the stairs with dignity. +The great leathern bag did not conduce to this, and he succeeded +in appearing awkward in the extreme, and had a vague, uncomfortable +impression that such was the case. + +Mrs. Marchmont having disappeared into the dining-room, the young +people went off into silent convulsions of laughter, in which even +Bel joined, though she said she knew it was wrong. + +"He is just the one of all the world on whom to play such a joke," +said Lottie, pirouetting into the parlor. + +"It was capital!" chimed in De Forrest. "Lottie, you would make a +star actress." + +"He has an intelligent eye," continued she, a little more thoughtfully. +"He may be able to see more than we think. I insist that you all +be very careful. Aunt will suspect something, if he doesn't, and +may put him on his guard." + +Mr. Hemstead soon returned, for it was plain that his toilets were +exceedingly simple. The elegance wanting in his manners was still +more clearly absent from his dress. The material was good, but +had evidently been put together by a country tailor, who limped a +long way behind the latest mode. What was worse, his garments were +scarcely ample enough for his stalwart form. Altogether he made in +some externals a marked contrast to the city exquisite, who rather +enjoyed standing beside him that this contrast might be seen. + +To Lottie he appeared excessively comical as he stalked in and around, +trying vainly to appear at ease. And yet the thought occurred to +her, "If he only knew what to do with his colossal proportions--knew +how to manage them--he would make an imposing-looking man." And when +De Forrest posed beside him just before they went out to tea, even +this thought flashed across her, "Julian, seems like an elegant +manikin beside a man." If De Forrest had only known it, the game +of contrasts was not wholly in his favor. + +But poor Mr. Hemstead came to grief on his way to the supper-room. +Miss Marchmont tried to disguise her diminutive stature by a long +trailing dress. Upon this he placed his by no means delicate foot, +as she was sweeping out with Mr. Harcourt. There was an ominous +sound of parting stitches, and an abrupt period in the young lady's +graceful progress. In his eager haste to remedy his awkwardness, +he bumped up against Mr. Dimmerly, who was advancing to speak to +him, with a force that nearly overthrew that dapper gentleman, and +rendered his greeting rather peculiar. Hemstead felt, to his intense +annoyance, that the young people were at the point of exploding +with merriment at his expense, and was in a state of indignation +at himself and them. His aunt and Mr. Dimmerly, who soon recovered +himself, were endeavoring to look serenely unconscious, with but +partial success. All seemed to feel as if they were over a mine +of discourteous laughter. The unfortunate object looked nervously +around for the beautiful "cousin," and noted with a sigh of relief +that she had disappeared. + +"I hope she did not see my meeting with uncle," he thought. "I +was always a gawk in society, and to-night seem possessed with the +very genius of awkwardness. She is the only one who has shown me +any real kindness, and I don't want her to think of me only as a +blundering, tongue-tied fool." + +He would not have been re-assured had he known that Lottie, having +seen all, had darted back into the parlor and was leaning against +the piano, a quivering, and for the moment a helpless subject of +suppressed mirth. Mr. Dimmerly was always a rather comical object +to her, and his flying arms and spectacles, as he tried to recover +himself from the rude shock of his nephew's burly form, made a +scene in which absurdity, which is said to be the chief cause of +laughter, was pre-eminent. + +But, the paroxysm passing, she followed them and took a seat +opposite her victim, with a demure sweetness and repose of manner +well-nigh fatal to the conspirators. + +As Mr. Hemstead was regarded as a clergyman, though not quite through +with his studies, his aunt looked to him for the saying of grace. +It was a trying ordeal for the young fellow under the circumstances. +He shot a quick glance at Lottie, which she returned with a look of +serious expectation, then dropped her eyes and veiled a different +expression under the long lashes. But he was sorely embarrassed, +and stammered out he scarcely knew what. A suppressed titter from +Addie Marchmont and the young men was the only response he heard, +and it was not re-assuring. He heartily wished himself back in +Michigan, but was comforted by seeing Lottie looking gravely and +reproachfully at the irreverent gigglers. + +"She is a good Christian girl," he thought, "and while the others +ridicule my wretched embarrassment, she sympathizes." + +Hemstead was himself as open as the day and equally unsuspicious +of others. He believed just what he saw, and saw only what was +clearly apparent. Therefore Lottie, by tolerably fair acting, would +have no difficulty in deceiving him, and she was proving herself +equal to very skilful feigning. Indeed she was one who could do +anything fairly that she heartily attempted. + +A moment after "grace" Harcourt made a poor witticism, at which +the majority laughed with an immoderateness quite disproportionate. +Mrs. Marchmont and her brother joined in the mirth, though evidently +vexed with themselves that they did. Even Hemstead saw that Harcourt's +remark was but the transparent excuse for the inevitable laugh at +his expense. Lottie looked around with an expression of mingled +surprise and displeasure, which nearly convulsed those in the +secret. But her aunt and uncle felt themselves justly rebuked, while +wondering greatly at Lottie's unwonted virtue. But there are times +when to laugh is a dreadful necessity, whatever be the consequences. + +"Mr. Hemstead," said Lottie, gravely, beginning, as she supposed, +with the safe topic of the weather, "in journeying east have you +come to a colder or warmer climate?" + +"Decidedly into a colder one," he answered, significantly. + +"Indeed, that rather surprises me!" + +"Well, I believe that the thermometer has marked lower with us, +but it has been said, and justly I think, that we do not feel the +cold at the West as at the East." + +"No matter," she said, sweetly. "At the East, as in the West, the +cold is followed by thaws and spring." + +He looked up quickly and gratefully, but only remarked, "It's a +change we all welcome." + +"Not I, for one," said Mr. Harcourt. "Give me a clear, steady +cold. Thaws and spring are synonymous with the sloppy season or +sentimental stage." + +"I, too, think steady cold is better in the season of it," remarked +Mr. Dimmerly, sententiously. + +"But how about it out of season, uncle?" asked Lottie. + +"Your hint, perhaps, is seasonable, Lottie," quietly remarked her +aunt, though with somewhat heightened color. "I trust we shall +keep the steady cold out of doors, and that ALL our guests will +find only summer warmth within." + +"Really, auntie, you put me in quite a melting mood." + +"No need of that, Lottie, for you are the month of June all the +year round," said her aunt. + +"The month of April, rather," suggested Bel. + +"I should say July or August," added Mr. Dimmerly, laughing. + +"Would you not say November?" asked Lottie of Mr. Hemstead. + +"Yes, I think so," he replied, with a blush, "for Thanksgiving +comes in that month." + +There was a general laugh, and Mr. Dimmerly chuckled, "Very good, +you are getting even, Frank." + +"I hardly understand your compliment, if it is one," said Lottie, +demurely. "Is it because you are so fond of sermons or dinners that +Thanksgiving glorifies the dreary month of November?" + +"Neither a sermon nor a dinner is always a just cause for Thanksgiving," +he replied, with a pleasant light in his gray eyes. + +"Then where is the force of your allusion?" she said, with a face +innocently blank. + +"Well," replied he, hesitatingly, and blushing deeply, "perhaps my +thought was that you might be an occasion for Thanksgiving if both +sermon and dinner were wanting." + +Again there was a general laugh, but his aunt said, "Frank, Frank, +have you learned to flatter?" + +Lottie shot a quick glance of pleased surprise at him, and was +much amused at his evident confusion and flaming cheeks. To be sure +his words were part of the old complimentary tune that she knew +by heart, but his offering was like a flower that had upon it the +morning dew. She recognized his grateful effort to repay her for +supposed kindness, and saw that, though ill at ease in society, he +was not a fool. + +"Would it not be better to wait till in possession before keeping +a Thanksgiving?" said De Forrest, satirically. + +"Not necessarily," retorted Hemstead, quickly, for the remark was +like the light touch of a spur. "I was grateful for the opportunity +of seeing a fine picture at Cleveland, on my way here, that I never +expect to own." + +Lottie smiled. The victim was not helpless. But she turned, and +with a spice of coquetry said, "Still I think you are right, Mr. +De Forrest." + +Then she noted that Mr. Hemstead's eyes were dancing with mirth at +her hint to one who was evidently anxious to keep "Thanksgiving" +over her any month in the year. + +"I'm sure I am," remarked De Forrest. "I could never be satisfied +to admire at a distance. I could not join in a prayer I once heard, +'Lord, we thank thee for this and all other worlds.'" + +"Could you?" asked Lottie of Hemstead. + +"Why not?" + +"That is no answer." + +Hemstead was growing more at ease, and when he only had to use his +brains was not half so much at a loss as when he must also manage +his hands and feet, and he replied laughingly: "Well, not to put too +fine a point upon it, this world is quite useful to me at present. +I should be sorry to have it vanish and find myself whirling in +space, if I am a rather large body. But as I am soon to get through +with this world, though never through with life, I may have a chance +to enjoy a good many other worlds--perhaps all of them--before +eternity is over, and so be grateful that they exist and are in +waiting." + +"Good heavens!" exclaimed Lottie. "What a traveller you propose to +be. I should be satisfied with a trip to Europe." + +"To Paris, you mean," said Bel. + +"Yes," replied Mr. Hemstead, "until the trip was over." + +"Then I trust she will be content with New York," insinuated De +Forrest; "for Mr. Hemstead speaks as if the stars were created for +his especial benefit." + +"You are enjoying some honey, Mr. De Forrest?" said Hemstead, +quietly. + +"Yes." + +"Did the flowers grow and the bees gather for your especial benefit?" + +"I admit I'm answered." + +"But," said sceptical Mr. Harcourt, "when you've got through with +this world how do you know but that you will drop off into space?" + +"Come," said Addie, rising from the table, "I protest against a +sermon before Sunday." + +They now returned to the parlor, Hemstead making the transition in +safety, but with no little trepidation. + + + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +PUZZLED AND INTERESTED. + + + + + +On the way to the parlor Lottie hovered near Mr. Hemstead. Unlike +Micawber, she was not one to wait, but purposed that something +SHOULD "turn up." The two other young ladies, and Harcourt and De +Forrest, sat down to a game of whist. In pursuance of instructions +from Lottie, De Forrest was not to be over-attentive, though it was +evident that he would give more thought to her than to his game. +Her demure mischief amused him vastly, and, knowing what she was, +the novelty of her Puritan style had a double fascination. Making +personal enjoyment the object of his life, he felicitated himself +on soon possessing the beautiful and piquant creature, who, when she +came to devote herself to him, would spice his days with endless +variety. The thought that this high-spirited, positive, strong-minded +American girl might crave better and more important work than that +of an Eastern houri or a Queen Scheherezade, never occurred to +him. He blundered, with many other men, in supposing that, if once +married, the wayward belle would become subservient to his tastes +and modes as a matter of course. In his matrimonial creed all his +difficulty consisted in getting the noose finally around the fair +one's neck: this accomplished, she would become a ministering +captive. Many a one has had a rude awakening from this dream. + +Although from Addie Marchmont's description he believed that he +had little cause to fear a rival in Hemstead, still he awaited his +coming with a trace of anxiety. But when the seemingly overgrown, +awkward student stepped upon the scene, all his fears vanished. The +fastidious Lottie, whose eye had grown so nice and critical that +she could refuse the suit of many who from their wealth and position +thought it impossible to sue in vain, could never look upon this +Western giant in a way other than she proposed,--the ridiculous +subject of a practical joke. True, he had proved himself no fool +in their table-talk, but mere intellectuality and moral excellence +counted for little in De Forrest's estimation when not combined +with wealth and external elegance. The thought that the "giant" +might have a heart, and that Lottie's clever seeming might win it, +and the consequent mortification and suffering, did not occasion +a moment's care. Unconsciously De Forrest belonged to that lordly +class which has furnished our Neros, Napoleons, and tyrants of +less degree, even down to Pat who beats his wife. These, from their +throne of selfishness, view the pain and troubles of others with +perfect unconcern. Therefore, believing that his personal interests +were not endangered by so unpromising a man as Hemstead, even +Lottie did not look forward to the carrying out of the practical +joke with more zest than he. If the unsuspicious victim could only +be inveigled into something like love, its awkward display might +become comical in the extreme. Therefore, he gave but careless +heed to his game, and keen glances to Lottie's side-play. But as +the other conspirators were acting in much the same manner he was +able to hold his own. + +Hemstead looked grave, as cards were brought out, but without remark +he sat down with his aunt at a table on the opposite side of the +hearth. Lottie perched on a chair a little back of them, so that +while she saw their side faces they must turn somewhat to see her. +When they did so she was quietly stitching at her fancy-work, but +the rest of the time was telegraphing with her brilliant eyes all +sorts of funny messages to the party opposite, so that they were +in a state of perpetual giggle, not in keeping with whist. + +Mr. Dimmerly soon bustled in, and, looking wistfully at the game +in progress, was about to propose that they form one likewise at +their table, for an evening without cards was to him a mild form +of purgatory. But Lottie anticipated him. Giving a signal to the +others and drawing down her face to portentous length, she said to +Hemstead, "I fear you do not approve of cards." + +"You are correct, Miss Marsden," he replied, stiffly. + +As he turned away, she glanced at the card-players with a look of +horror, as if they were committing sacrilege, and Harcourt had to +improvise another poor joke to account for their increasing merriment. + +But Mr. Dimmerly looked at his nephew in dismay and some irritation. +"What under heaven can I now do, this long evening," he thought, +"but gape and talk theology?" + +But Lottie, in the purpose to draw out and quiz her victim, +continued: "Really, Mr. Hemstead, you surprise me. Cards are the +staple amusement of a quiet evening in New York. I fear I have +been doing wrong all my life without knowing it." + +"If you did not know you were wrong, you were not very guilty," he +replied, smiling. + +"Yes, but now I do know, or at least from one who will be an +authority on such matters--pardon me--who is one now, I am assured +that this old custom is wrong. In questions of right and wrong, +I suppose a minister should guide." + +"No, Miss Marsden, that is not Protestantism. Your conscience, +instructed by the Bible, should guide." + +"But I see no more harm in whist than in a sleigh-ride." + +"Perhaps your conscience needs instruction." + +"O, certainly, that is it! Please instruct it." + +He turned quickly, but saw a face serious enough for an anxious +seat in an old-time revival. + +"Yes," said Mr. Dimmerly, testily. "My conscience needs instruction +also. What harm is there in a quiet game of whist?" + +"Well, I do not know that there is anything wrong in a 'quiet game +of cards,' per se" commenced Hemstead, didactically. + +"'Per' who?" asked Lottie, innocently. + +Just then the party at the other table seemed to explode, but they +made it appear as if the cause came from themselves. + +"Yes, yes, nephew, speak English. You may find some reasons in +Latin, but none in English, the only language of sound sense." + +"Well," resumed Hemstead, somewhat confused, "I do not know that +a quiet game such as you would play here would be wrong in itself. +But the associations of the game are bad, and your example might +be injurious." + +"The associations bad!" said Lottie, lifting her eyebrows. "Cards +are associated in my mind with father, mother, and quiet home +evenings." + +"I have chiefly seen them played by rough characters, and in +questionable places," he replied quickly. + +"I'm sorry you visit such places," she replied in a tone of rebuke. + +Even Mr. Dimmerly and his sister laughed at this remark, as coming +from Lottie, while the others were almost convulsed. Bel managed +to gasp out, as a blind, "Mr. Harcourt, if you don't behave yourself +and play fair, I'll throw down my hand." + +But straightforward Hemstead increased difficulties by saying, a +little stiffly, "I hope, Miss Marsden, that you do not suppose that +one of my calling would frequent places of improper resort." + +"No, indeed," she replied quickly, "and therefore I was the more +surprised when you spoke of witnessing something in 'questionable +places.'" + +He turned to her with a look in which perplexity and annoyance +were mingled, and said hastily: "It is different with a man from a +lady. A man is more out in the world, and, no matter how careful, +cannot help catching glimpses of the evil substratum of society. +One cannot help passing through a smoking-car occasionally, or--" + +"Good heavens!" exclaimed Lottie, as if startled. "Is a smoking-car +a 'questionable place'? Mr. De Forrest," she continued sharply, +"did you not spend half an hour in the smoking-car coming up?" + +"Yes," he replied faintly. + +"You surprise me, sir," she said severely. "Mr. Hemstead declares +it is a 'questionable place.' I hope hereafter you will have more +regard for your reputation." + +"Please do not mistake me," said Hemstead, with increasing annoyance; +"I did not mean to assert any moral qualities of smoking-cars, though +with then filth and fumes there would be no question in your mind +about them whatever, Miss Marsden. What I meant to say was, that +in such places as smoking-cars, hotel lobbies, and through the +open doors of saloons, are caught glimpses of a life which we all +should unite in condemning and loathing; and what I have seen has +always led me to connect cards with just that kind of life. Moreover, +gambling--that fearful and destructive vice--is almost inseparable +from cards." + +"How experiences differ!" said Lottie, reflectively. "I have had +but few glimpses of the life you describe so graphically. With +the bits of pasteboard that you have seen chiefly in coarse, grimy +hands, I associate our cosey sitting-room at home, with its glowing +grate and 'moon-light lamp,' as we call it, for father's eyes are +weak. Even now," she continued, assuming the look of a rapt and +beautiful sibyl, that was entrancing to Hemstead as well as De +Forrest--"even now I see papa and mamma and old-fashioned Auntie +Jane, and poor invalid Jennie, all gathered at home in our sacred +little snuggery where father permits no visitors to come." + +The look she had assumed became genuine, and her eyes suddenly +moistened as the scene called up became real and present to her. +With all her faults she had a warm heart, and loved her kindred +sincerely. + +But this touch of truth and feeling served her mischievous purpose +better than she thought, for it convinced the honest-minded Hemstead +that she was just what she seemed, and his sympathy went out to +her at once as a well-meaning, true-hearted girl. + +He was a little taken aback, however, when Lottie, ashamed of her +feeling, said brusquely, "As to gambling with cards, we no more +thought of it than sending to a corner grocery for a bottle of +whiskey, and taking from it a drink all around between the games." + +"O Lottie!" laughed her aunt, "what an absurd picture you suggest! +The idea of your stately mother taking a drink from a bottle of +whiskey!" + +"It is no more strange to me," persisted Lottie, gravely, "than +Mr. Hemstead's associations. Of course I know that bad and vulgar +people play cards, but they also drive horses and walk the streets, +and do other things which it is perfectly proper for us to do." + +"I admit, Miss Marsden, that education and custom make a great +difference. I have always been taught to look upon cards with great +abhorrence. What may be right for you would be wrong for me." + +"No," said positive Lottie, "that will not satisfy me. A thing is +either right or wrong. If you can prove to me that a quiet game of +cards is wrong, I won't play any more--at least I ought not," she +added hastily. "Because some vulgar and fast people gamble with +them is nothing. You will take a sleigh-ride with us to-morrow, +and yet loud jockeys bet and gamble over horses half the year." + +Hemstead sprang up. His ungainliness disappeared, as was ever the +case when he forgot himself in excitement. + +"Miss Marsden," he said, "what you say sounds plausible, but years +ago I saw the mangled corpse of a young suicide. He was an adept +at cards, and for aught I know had learned the game as your brother +might, at home. But away among strangers at the West that knowledge +proved fatal. He was inveigled into playing by some gamblers, staked +all his own money, then that committed to his trust. Having lost +everything but life, he threw that also down the abyss. He might +have been living to-day if he had known as little about cards as +I do." + +His manner was so earnest, the picture called up so sad and tragic, +that even Lottie's red cheek paled a little, and the gigglers +became quiet. She only said, "He was very weak and foolish. I can't +understand such people." + +"But the world is largely made up of the weak and foolish, who +need safeguards rather than temptations. And history would seem +to prove that even the wisest and best are at times 'weak and +foolish.' I think the knowledge of card-playing can result in no +harm to you, shielded as you will be, but it might to your brother. +Miss Marsden," asked he, abruptly, "do you know how many professional +gamblers there are in the world?" + +"No." + +"I do not remember the estimated number accurately, but it is very +large. They often revel in wealth, but they do not make it out of +each other. It is from the unwary, the 'weak and foolish' who think +they can win money by playing a fair game. They are permitted to +win just enough to turn their heads, and then are robbed. Remorse, +despair, and suicide too often follow. Cards are the usual means +employed in these great wrongs. I should be sorry to see a young +brother of mine, who was soon to face the temptations of the world, +go away with a knowledge that has been the ruin of so many." + +This was bringing the question home to Lottie in a way that she +did not expect. Her heedless, wilful, impulsive brother, the dear +torment of her life, was just the one an artful knave could mislead. +For a moment or two she sat silent and thoughtful. All awaited her +answer save Mr. Dimmerly, who, without his whist, had dropped off +into a doze, as was his wont. Then her decided character asserted +itself, and she spoke sincerely for the moment. + +"I do not believe in the safety of ignorance. If a young man is weak +and bad enough to gamble, he will do it with something else, if not +cards. From what I hear, men bet and gamble with all uncertainties. +The most innocent things are carried to vulgar and wicked excess. +You can't shield one from without if lacking the will and power to +say, No! I think it will be safer and wiser in the end, if a thing +is right fer se, as you say, to do it, and if wrong not to do it. +To me, a game of cards is no more than a game of checkers, or a +stroll in a garden." + +In his eagerness to reply, Hemstead took a step forward and trod +upon, not a lady's dress this time, but the tail of Mrs. Marchmont's +pet dog. As may be imagined, his tread was not fairy-like, and there +was a yelp that awoke the echoes. Mr. Dimmerly started out of his +sleep, with a snort like the blast of a ram's hom before Jericho, +and, pushing his gold spectacles to the top of his bald head, stared +in bewilderment at the forms convulsed with merriment around him. + +Even Hemstead joined in the laugh, though inwardly inclined to +anathematize his big feet. Lottie retreated from further discussion +by saying: + +"I have heard that theologians were inclined to be dogmatic in +controversy, and I fear that you are no exception, Mr. Hemstead. +So, since I have had the last word, with your permission, I retire +'of the same opinion still.'" + +"I submit," he rejoined, good-naturedly. "In any case my answer +would have been CURTAILED" + +"Ha, ha!" chimed out Lottie's laugh. "That is better than your +logic." + +"Frank! that you should call this dear little creature a cur!" said +Mrs. Marchmont, comforting her still whining pet. + +"What DISCOURTESY!" said Lottie. + +"What is the matter with you all?" asked Mr. Dimmerly, rising. "From +talking Latin you have got on something that I understand as well +as Choctaw. Lottie, I hope you are not argued out of one of our +best old English customs. I have inherited whist from a dozen +generations. So, nephew, with your leave or your frown, I must have +my game." + +"I cannot say, uncle, that Mr. Hemstead has argued very much, but +two very painful TALES have been presented in an imPRESSIVE manner. +You see how moved auntie and Fido are still over one of them. But +come, Mr. Hemstead, you have discharged your duty. If they play +whist all night and commit suicide in the morning, your skirts are +clear. Shake off the dust of your feet at them, and take a promenade +in the hall with me. Cousin Julian" (with emphasis on the word +cousin), "your conscience is as tough and elastic as Mr. Hemstead's +is tender. You haunt smoking-cars and other questionable places; +so, without serious moral harm, you can gratify uncle." + +Mrs. Marchmont, who had listened with polite weariness to the latter +part of the discussion, now took part in the game as quietly as +she would pour tea at the head of the table. The aunt and nephew +had lived in such different atmospheres that they could scarcely +understand each other, and both harbored thoughts that were hardly +charitable, as is usually the case in regard to those actions which +have no moral qualities in themselves, and after all must be decided +by each one's conscience. To Mrs. Marchmont, with her antecedents, +a game of whist was one of the most innocent ants of her life. + +But Hemstead was too well pleased with Lottie's arrangement to +grieve deeply over what, to his conscience, was wrong, and soon +forgot uncle, aunt, and cousin, and even the unlucky lap-dog, whose +dismal howl had so discomfited him a moment before. Just such a +luminary as Lottie Marsden had never appeared above his horizon, and +her orbit seemed so eccentric that as yet he could not calculate +it; but this element of uncertainty made observation all the +more interesting. The wide old hall, without the embarrassment of +observant eyes, was just the place to learn something more definite +of one who thus far had dazzled and puzzled, while she gained his +strong interest. True, Addie and Mr. Harcourt were walking before +them, but seemed so absorbed in each other as not to notice them. +He felt a curious thrill when a little hand lighted, like a +snow-flake, upon his arm, but soon increased its pressure with a +sort of cousinly confidence. He looked inquiringly into the face +turned up to him as they passed under the lamp, and thought, "In +its guileless beauty it reminds me of the clear mountain lakes that +I have seen in this region." + +His figure was true, but not as he understood it; for Lottie's face, +like the lake, would then reflect anything that happened upon the +margin of her thoughts, while her heart remained hidden. He thought he +saw herself, but in truth only false and vanishing images. Still, +like the mirroring water, her skilful feigning could make the +images seem very real. Hemstead, with his boundless faith in woman, +believed all he saw, and hoped still more. + + + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +A LITTLE PAGAN. + + + + + +The joke had now taken a phase that De Forrest did not relish. While +Lottie's by-play was present, and she was telegraphing to him with +her brilliant eyes, it was excellent. But to sit with his back to +the door leading into the hall, vis-a-vis to Mr. Dimmerly's puckered +face, and give close attention to the game, was a trying ordeal to +one who only consulted his own pleasure. And yet he feared he would +offend Lottie, did he not remain at his post. She was a despotic +little sovereign, and he felt that he must use all address until she +was safely brought to the matrimonial altar. He comforted himself, +however, with the thought that she was generous, and when he acted +the role of martyr she usually rewarded him with a greater show of +kindness, and no got through an hour with indifferent grace. + +But this purgatorial hour to him was keenly enjoyed by Lottie and +Hemstead, though by each for different reasons. + +"I fear you think me a giddy, wayward girl," said Lottie gently. + +"In frankness, I hardly know what to think," replied Hemstead. + +"Frank is your name, is it not?" + +"Yes." + +"It seems appropriate. I hope you won't judge me too harshly." + +"The danger is the other way, I fear," he said laughing. + +"Well, one of your profession ought to be charitable. But I might +naturally expect to be disapproved of by one so good and wise as +you are." + +"Why do you think me 'good and wise'?" + +"Because you are a minister, if for no other reason." + +"I am also a man." + +"Yes," she said innocently. "You are quite grown up." + +He looked at her quickly; her demure face puzzled him, and he said, +"I fear you think I am overgrown." + +"And I fear you don't care what I think. Men of your profession +are superior to the world." + +"Really, I shall think you are sarcastic, if you talk in that way +any more." But she looked so serious that he half believed she was +in earnest. + +"Are ministers like other men?" she asked, with a spice of genuine +curiosity in her question. The venerable pastor of the church which +she attended in New York had not seemed to belong to the same race +as herself. His hair was so white, his face so bloodless, his life +so saintly, and his sermons so utterly beyond her, that he appeared +as dim and unearthly as one of the Christian Fathers. A young +theologian on the way to that same ghostly state was an object +of piquant interest. She had never had a flirtation with a man of +this character, therefore there was all the zest of novelty. Had +she been less fearless, she would have shrunk from it, however, with +something of the superstitious dread that many have of jesting in +a church, or a graveyard. But there was a trace of hardihood in her +present course that just took her fancy. From lack of familiarity +with the class, she had a vague impression that ministers differed +widely from other men, and to bring one down out of the clouds as a +fluttering captive at her feet would be a triumph indeed. A little +awe mingled with her curiosity as she sought to penetrate the +scholastic and saintly atmosphere in which she supposed even an +embryo clergyman dwelt. She hardly knew what to say when, in reply +to her question, "Are ministers like other men?" he asked, "Why +not?" + +"That is hardly a fair way to answer." + +"You do not find me a mysterious being." + +"I find you very different from other young men of my acquaintance. +What to me is a matter of course is dreadful to you. Then you ministers +have such strange theological ways of dividing the world up into +saints and sinners, and you coolly predict such awful things for +the sinners (though I confess the sinners take it quite as coolly). +The whole thing seems professional rather than true." + +The tone of deep sadness in which the young man next spoke caused +her to look at him with a little surprise. + +"I do not wonder that this mutual coolness perplexes you. If we +believe the Bible, it is the strangest mystery in existence." + +"You may well put that in. Do the generality of people believe the +Bible? But as I was saying, from the very nature of your calling +you come to live far away from us. Our old minister knows more about +dead people than living. He knows all about the Jews and Greeks who +lived eighteen centuries ago, but next to nothing of the young of +his own church. My motives and temptations would be worse than. +Sanscrit to him,--harder to understand than the unsolved problems +of mathematics. What does such a man know about the life of a young +lady in society? That which influences me would seem less than +nothing to him." + +"I think you misjudge your pastor. If you became well acquainted +with him, you might find a heart overflowing with sympathy." + +"I can no more get acquainted with him than if he dwelt on Mount +Olympus. If I were only a doctrine, he might study me up and know +something about me. But there is so much flesh and blood about me +that I fear I shall always be distasteful to ministers." + +"I assure you, Miss Marsden, I find you more interesting than some +doctrines." + +"But you are young. You are on a vacation, and can for a time descend +to trifles, but you will grow like the rest. As it is, you speak +very guardedly, and intimate that I would be as nothing compared +with other doctrines." + +"What is a doctrine, Miss Marsden?" + +"O, bless me, I don't know exactly; a sort of abstract summing up +of either our qualities or God's qualities. The only doctrine I +even half understand is that of 'total depravity,' and I sometimes +fear it's true." + +"I think you are a great deal more interesting than the 'doctrine +of total depravity,'" said Hemstead, laughing. + +"Perhaps you will come to think I am synonymous with it." + +"No fear. I have seen too much of you for that already." + +"What redeeming features have you seen?" + +He looked at her earnestly for a moment, and she sustained his +gaze with an expression of such innocent sweetness that he said, a +little impulsively, "All your features redeem you from that charge." + +"O, fie!" she exclaimed, "a pun and flattery in one breath!" + +"I do not mean to flatter. Although in some respects you puzzle me, +I am very clear and positive as to my feeling of gratitude. While +my aunt feels kindly toward me, she is formal. It seemed to me when +I came out of the cold of the wintry night I found within a more +chilling coldness. But when you gave me your warm hand and claimed +something like kindred, I was grateful for that which does not always +accompany kindred,--genuine kindness. This feeling was greatly +increased when instead of making my diffidence and awkwardness +a theme of ridicule, you evinced a delicate sympathy, and with +graceful tact suggested a better courtesy to others. Do you think +then, that, after this glimpse down such a beautiful vista in your +nature, I can associate you with 'total depravity'? It was plain +to you, Miss Marsden, that I had seen little of society, but you +acted as if that were my misfortune, not my fault. I think the +impulse that leads one to try to shield or protect another who for +the time may be weak or defenceless is always noble." + +If Lottie had shown a little before that she had a heart, she now +became painfully aware that she had a conscience, and it gave her +some severe twinges during this speech. For a moment she wished +she deserved his commendation. But she was not one to do things +by halves, and so, recklessly throwing aside her qualms, she said +laughingly, "I don't think a gentleman of your inches at all an +object of pity. You are big enough to take care of yourself." + +"And I mean to as far as I can. But we all need help at times. You +know a mouse once served a lion." + +"Thank you. Now you have counterbalanced all your fine speeches +and compliments. 'A mouse serving a lion!' Well, roar gently if +you please." + +"I'm afraid I appear to you like another animal that once donned +a lion's skin, but whose ears, alas, protruded." + +"That is rather a skilful retreat; but I imagine that you think +yourself a veritable lion." + +"If you insist on my being a lion, I must refer you to ancient +mythology, where one of these overrated beasts is held a crouching +captive by Diana." + +"Well, that is quite a transition. First compared to a mouse, and +then to the moon. I fear that if you have not visited 'questionable +places,' you have permitted your mind to dwell on the 'questionable' +myths of the past. + +"O, that was in the regular order of things," he replied. "Before +coming to the study of theology, we are put through mythology; +that is, under the guidance of reverend professors we make the +acquaintance of a set of imaginary beings who, had they veritably +lived, and in our day, would have soon found their way to the +penitentiary." + +"At the door of which the 'lion' and 'Diana' would part company, +and so I should lose my gentle 'captive' and become as disconsolate +as auntie would have been had you trodden on the reverse extremity +of her pet." + +"O, pardon me, but Diana was an exception to the rest." + +"Better or worse?" + +"Better, of course. She was a trifle cruel, though, was she not?" + +"You have been proving me very tender-hearted." + +"So every woman should be." + +"I doubt whether you know much about us." + +"I cannot imagine a being--not even an angel-more pure, unselfish, +and true than my mother; and she is a woman." + +"Miss Lottie," here broke in De Forrest, "I've played whist to the +utmost limit of my conscience. You will not keep me on the rack +any longer." + +"O, no, Cousin Julian," she replied, sotto voce, "only on the sofa +with our dear cousin Bel. See, she sits there alone. Good-by," and +she swept past, with a malicious twinkle in her eyes at his blank +expression. + +But Bel saw and understood the scene. With a cynical smile she +went to the piano, and commenced a brilliant waltz. Under its spell +Addie and Mr. Harcourt came whirling up the hall, and Lottie, who +had been under restraint so long, could not resist the temptation +of letting De Forrest carry her off also. + +"It's only with my cousin, you know," she whispered apologetically +to Hemstead. + +He stood in the door-way for a few moments and watched her graceful +figure with a strange and growing interest Whether saint or sinner, +this being so emphatically of flesh and blood was exceedingly +fascinating. The transition from the cloister-like seclusion of his +seminary life to this suburb of the gay world was almost bewildering; +and Lottie Marsden was one to stir the thin blood and withered +heart of the coldest anchorite. The faint perfume which she seemed +to exhale like a red rosebush in June was a pleasing exchange for +the rather musty and scholastic atmosphere in which he so long +had dwelt. As she glanced by as lightly as a bird on the wing, she +occasionally beamed upon him with one of her dangerous smiles. She +then little thought or cared that his honest and unoccupied heart +was as ready to thaw and blossom into love as a violet bank facing +the south in spring. He soon had a vague consciousness that he was +not doing just the prudent thing, and therefore rejoined his aunt +and uncle. Soon after he pleaded the weariness of his journey and +retired. As he was about to mount the stairs Lottie whirled by and +whispered, "Don't think me past praying for." + +The slang she used in jest came to him, with his tendencies and +convictions, like an unconscious appeal and a divine suggestion. +He was utterly unconventional, and while readily unbending into +mirthfulness, he regarded life as an exceedingly serious thing. +As the eyes of artist and poet catch glimpses of beauty where to +others are only hard lines and plain surfaces, so strong religious +temperaments are quick to see providences, intimations, and leadings. + +Hemstead went to his room with steps that deep thought rendered +slower and slower. He forgot his weariness, and sat down before +the fire to think of one known but a few brief hours. If there are +those who can coolly predict "awful things" of the faithless and +godless, Hemstead was not one of them. The young girl who thought +him a good subject for jest and ridicule, he regarded with profound +pity. Her utter unconsciousness of danger had to him the elements +of deepest pathos. + +While perplexed by contradictions in her manner and words, he +concluded that she was what she seemed, a girl of unusual force +of mind, frank and kindly, and full of noble impulses, but whose +religious nature was but slightly developed. He at that time would +have been shocked and indignant if he had known the truth. Her +natural tendencies had been good. Her positive nature would never +waver weakly along the uncertain boundary of good and evil, as was +the case with Bel Parton. She was one who would be decided and +progressive in one direction or the other, but now was clearly +on the sinister side of truth and moral loveliness. Surrounding +influences had been adverse. She had yielded to them, and they had +carried her farther astray than if she had been of a cautious and +less forceful temperament. While therefore full of good impulses, +she was also passionate and selfish. Much homage had made her +imperious, exacting, and had developed no small degree of vanity. +She exulted in the power and pre-eminence that beauty gave, and +often exerted the former cruelly, though it is due to her to state +that she did not realize the pain she caused. While her own heart +slept, she could not understand the aching disquiet of others that +she toyed with. That it was good sport, high-spiced excitment, and +occupation for her restless, active mind, was all she considered. +As she would never be neutral in her moral character, so she was +one who would do much of either harm or good. Familiarity with +the insincerities of fashionable life had blurred her sense of +truthfulness in little things, and in matters of policy she could +hide her meaning or express another as well as her veteran mother. + +And yet there were great possibilities of good in her character. +She had a substratum of sound common sense; was wholesomely averse +to meanness, cowardice, and temporizing; best of all, she was not +shallow and weak. She could appreciate noble action, and her mind +could kindle at great thoughts if presented clearly and strongly. + +She could scarcely be blamed severely for being what she was, for +she had only responded to the influences that had ever surrounded +her, and been moulded by them. Her character was rapidly forming, +but not as yet fixed. Therefore her best chance of escaping a moral +deformity as marked as her external beauty was the coming under an +entirely different class of influences. + +However earthly parents may wrong their children by neglect, or +by permitting in themselves characters that react ruinously upon +those sacredly intrusted to their training, the Divine Father seems +to give all a chance sometime in life for the achievement of the +grandest of all victories, the conquest of self. Whatever abstract +theories dreamers may evolve secluded from the world, those who observe +closely--who KNOW humanity from infancy to age--are compelled to +admit, however reluctantly, that the inner self of every heart is +tainted and poisoned by evil. The innocence of childhood is too +much like the harmlessness of the lion's whelps. However loftily and +plausibly some may assert the innate goodness and self-rectifying +power of humanity, as Tom Paine wrote against the Bible without +reading it, not having been able at the time to procure one in +infidel Paris, those who take the scientific course of getting the +facts first shake their heads despondingly. It is true that parents +discover diversities in their children. Some are sweeter-tempered +than others, and seem pointed horizontally, if not heavenward, +in their natures. Many bid fair to stand high, measured by earthly +standards. But the approving world can know nothing of the evil +thoughts that haunt the heart. + +What mother has not been almost appalled as she has seen the face +of her still infant child inflamed with rage and the passionate +desire for revenge? The chubby hand is not always raised to caress, +but too often to strike. As mind and heart develop, darker and meaner +traits unfold with every natural grace. There is a canker-worm in +the bud, and unless it is taken out, there never can be a perfect +flower. + +But Mr. and Mrs. Marsden thought of none of these things. The mother +received her estimate of life, and her duty, from current opinion +on the avenue. She complacently felicitated herself that she kept +up with the changing mode quite as well as most women of wealth +and fashion, if not better. She managed so well that she excited +the admiration of some, and the envy of more; and so was content. +As for Mr. Marsden, what with his business, his newspaper, whist, +and an occasional evening at the club or some entertainment or public +meeting that he could not escape, his life was full and running +over. He never had time to give a thought to the fine theories about +his children, nor to the rather contradictory facts often reported +from the nursery. But as year after year he paid the enormous and +increasing bills for nurses, gouvernantes, Italian music masters, +and fashionable schools, he sincerely thought that few men did as +much for their children as he. + +Of course, a lady from whom society expected so much as from Mrs. +Marsden could not give her time to her children. In the impressible +period of infancy and early childhood, Lottie and her brother, and +an invalid sister older than herself, had been left chiefly to the +charge of servants. But Mrs. Marsden's conscience was at rest, +for she paid the highest prices for her French and German nurses +and governesses, and of course "had the best," she said. Thus the +children lived in a semi-foreign atmosphere, and early caught a, +"pretty foreign accent," which their mamma delighted to exhibit in +the parlor; and at the same time they became imbued with foreign +morals, which they also put on exhibition disagreeably often. When +through glaring faults the stylish nursery-maid was dismissed, the +obliging keeper of the intelligence office around the corner had +another foreign waif just imported, who at a slightly increased sum +was ready to undertake the care, and he might add the corruption, +of the children in the most approved style. She was at once engaged, +and to this alien the children were committed almost wholly, while +Mrs. Marsden would tell her afternoon visitors how fortunate she +had been in obtaining a new nurse with even a "purer accent." The +probabilities were that her doubtful accent was the purest thing +about her. Sometimes, as the results of this tutelage grew more +apparent, even Mrs. Marsden had misgivings. But then her wealthiest +and most fashionable neighbors were pursuing the same course with +precisely the same results; and so she must be right. + +If Lottie had been born pellucid as a drop of dew, as some claim, +she would not have remained so long, even in the nursery, and as +she stepped out farther and faster in the widening sphere of her +life, surrounding influences did not improve. + +Her extreme beauty and grace, and the consequent admiration and +flattery, developed an unusual degree of vanity, which had strengthened +with years; though now she had too much sense and refinement to +display it publicly. While generous and naturally warm-hearted, +the elements of gentleness and patient self-denial for the sake +of others at this time could scarcely have been discovered in her +character. + +Indeed this beautiful girl, nurtured in a Christian land, a regular +attendant upon church, was a pagan and belonged to a pagan family. +Not one of her household worshipped God. Mr. and Mrs. Marsden +would have been exceedingly shocked and angered if they had been +told they were heathens. But at the time when Paul found among +the multitudinous altars of Athens one dedicated to the "Unknown +God," there were many Grecian men and women more highly cultivated +than these two aristocrats of to-day. But in spite of external +devoutness at church, it could easily be shown that to this girl's +parents the God of the Bible was as "unknown" and unheeded as the +mysterious and unnamed deity concerning whose claims the Apostle +so startled the luxurious Athenians. Like the ancient Greeks, all +had their favorite shrines that, to a greater or a less degree, +absorbed heart and brain. + +Lottie was a votaress of pleasure: the first and about the only +article of her creed was to make everything and everybody minister +to her enjoyment. She rarely entered on a day with a more definite +purpose than to have a "good time"; and in the attainment of this +end we have seen that she was by no means scrupulous. + +She was as cruel a little pagan, too, as any of her remote Druidical +ancestors, and at her various shrines of vanity, pleasure, and +excitement, delighted in offering human sacrifices. She had become +accustomed to the writhing of her victims, and soothed herself +with the belief that it did not hurt them so very much after all. +She considered no farther than that flirtation was one of the +recognized amusements of the fashionable. What the TON did was law +and gospel to her mother; and the same to Lottie, if agreeable. If +not, there was no law and no gospel for her. + +She had no more scruple in making a victim of Hemstead than a Fiji +Island potentate would have in ordering a breakfast according to +his depraved and barbarous taste. And when even society-men had +succumbed to her wiles, and in abject helplessness had permitted +her to place her imperious foot upon their necks, what chance had +a warm-hearted, unsophisticated fellow, with the most chivalric +ideas of womanhood? + +Quick-witted Lottie, on seeing Hemstead and hearing his table-talk, +had modified Addie Marchmont's suggestion in her own mind. She saw +that, though unsuspicious and trusting in his nature, he was too +intelligent to be imposed upon by broad farce. Therefore, a religious +mask would soon be known as such. Her aunt also would detect the +mischievous plot against her nephew and guest, and thwart it. By +appearing as a well-meaning unguided girl, who both needed and +wished an adviser, she might more safely keep this modern Samson +blindly making sport for her and the others, and at the same time +not awaken the troublesome suspicions of her aunt and uncle. In the +character of one who was full of good impulses--who erred through +ignorance, and who wished to be led and helped to better things--she +was nearer the truth, and could act her part more successfully. + +But what could Frank Hemstead, coming from a home in which he +had breathed the very atmosphere of truth and purity, know of all +this? To him Lottie was the most beautiful creature he had ever +seen, and in his crystal integrity he would have deemed it a foul +insult to her to doubt that she was just what she seemed. To his +straightforward nature, believing a woman the opposite of what she +seemed was like saying to her, "Madam, you are a liar." + +The world would be better if women did more to preserve this +chivalric trust. + +"Past praying for!" His creed taught him to pray for all the world, +and already a subtile, unrecognized impulse of his heart led him +to plead before the Divine Father for one who seemed, in outward +grace, already fitted for heavenly surroundings. + +When a block of unusually perfect marble falls under the eye of +a true sculptor, he is conscious of a strong impulse to bring out +the exquisite statue that is distinctly visible to his mind. Hemstead +was an enthusiast in the highest form of art and human effort, and +was developing, as the ruling motive of his life, a passion for +moulding the more enduring material of character into moral symmetry +and loveliness. Humanity in its most forbidding guise interested +him, for his heart was warm and large and overflowed with a great +pity for the victims of evil. In this respect he was like his +Master, who had "compassion on the multitude." His anticipation +of his life-work was as non-professional as that of a mother who +yearns over the children she cannot help loving. Lottie appeared +strong and lovely by nature. It seemed to him that the half-effaced, +yet still lingering image of God rested upon her beautiful face +more distinctly than he had ever seen it elsewhere. The thought of +that image becoming gradually blurred and obliterated by sin--of +this seemingly exquisite and budding flower growing into a coarse, +rank weed--was revolting to his mind. + + + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +PLAIN TALK. + + + + + +At last the sound of mirth and laughter ceased, and the house became +quiet. + +Lottie sat warming her feet at the glowing coals in her room, +before retiring. A dreamy smile played upon her face, coming and +going with passing thoughts, even as the firelight flickered upon +it. + +She was in an unusually amiable mood, for this affair with Hemstead +promised richly. If he had been an ordinary and polished society-man, +the flirtation would have been humdrum, like a score of others. +But he was so delightfully fresh and honest, and yet so clever +withal, that her eyes sparkled with anticipating mirth as she saw +him in various attitudes of awkward love-making, and then dropping +helplessly into the abyss of his own great, but empty heart, on +learning the vainness of his passion. + +"He finds me 'more interesting than some doctrines,' indeed! I'll +put all his dry doctrines to rout in less than a week. I'll drive +text-books and professors out of his head, and everything else +(save myself) out of his heart, for a little while. But after he +gets back to Michigan, the doctrines will come creeping back into +their old place, and he will get comfortably over it like the rest. +In the mean while, as substantial and useful results, I will have +my rare bit of sport, and he will know more about the wicked world +against which he is to preach. By and by he will marry a pious Western +giantess, whose worst dissipation is a Sunday-school picnic, and +will often petrify her soul with horror and wonder by describing +that awful little pagan, Lottie Marsden. + +"And a heathen I am in very truth. Where are missionaries needed +more than in Fifth Avenue? They had better not come, though; for +if we would not eat them, we would freeze them." + +"What are you thinking about, Lottie, that you are smiling so +sweetly?" asked her room-mate, Bel Parton. + +"In truth, it was a sweet thought," said Lottie, her laugh awakening +sudden echoes in the still house, and sounding as oddly as a bird's +song at night. "I'm glad Frank Hemstead doesn't know. If he did, +I should appall instead of fascinating him." + +"I think your plot against him is very wrong,--wicked, indeed. He +is such a sincere, good young man, that I like it less and less. +I couldn't do such a thing." + +"Still you can look on and enjoy the fun, and that is all you have +to do. Poor Bel, you are always in need of an M. D.'s or a D. D.'s +care. I have forsworn both." + +So spoke Lottie in the arrogance of her perfect health and abounding +beauty, and then (such are the seeming contradictions of character) +she knelt and appeared as a white-robed saint at her devotions. But +the parrot-like prayer that she hastily mumbled was of no possible +value to any one. She had continued the habit from childhood, +and it was mainly habit. The other motive was something like the +feeling of a careless Catholic, who crosses himself, though he +cannot explain what good it does him. + +A moment later she might have been taken as a model of sleeping +innocence. + +This world is evidently sadly out of joint. We all know of the most +gentle, lovely, unselfish spirits, beautiful to Heaven's eye, that +are enshrined in painfully plain caskets. In the instance of Lottie +Marsden, the casket was of nature's most exquisite workmanship, +but it held a tarnished jewel. + +It was with some misgivings that Hemstead looked forward to meeting +his "cousin," on the following morning. Would she be as radiantly +beautiful, as piquant, and withal as kindly and frank as on the +previous evening? Even his limited experience of the world had shown +him that in the matter-of-fact and searching light of the morning +many of the illusions of the night vanish. He had noted with no +little surprise that ladies seemingly young and blooming had come +down to breakfast looking ten years older; so he had said to himself, +"She dazzled me last night. I shall see her as she is to-day." + +Being an early riser he entered the cheerful breakfast-room +considerably before the others, and in a moment was entranced by +the view from the windows. + +The severe north-east storm had expended itself during the night, +and its fine, sharp crystals had changed into snowflakes. As an +angry man after many hard cutting words relents somewhat and speaks +calmly if still coldly, so nature, that had been stingingly severe +the evening before, was now quietly letting fall a few final hints +of the harsh mood that was passing away. Even while he looked, the +sun broke through a rift over the eastern mountains, and lighted up +the landscape as with genial smiles. It shone, not on an ordinary +and prosaic world, but rather on one that had been touched by magic +during the night and transformed into the wonder-land of dreams. + +The trees that in the dusk of the previous night had writhed and +groaned and struck their frozen branches together, gesticulating +like despairing anguish, now stood serene, and decked more daintily +than June would robe them. Whiter even than the pink-tinged blossoms +of May, was the soft wet snow that incased every twig, limb, and +spray. The more he looked, the more the beauty and the wonder of +the scene grew upon him. The sun was dispersing the clouds and +adding the element of splendor to that of beauty. It became one of +the supreme moments of his life, and in the vanishing beauty of an +earthly scene he received an earnest of the perfect world beyond. + +"With the exception of the broad dark river," he thought, "this +might be the Millennial morn, and nature standing decked in her +spotless ascension robes, waiting in breathless expectancy." + +But his musings were unexpectedly interrupted, for just at this +moment Lottie Marsden put her hand lightly on his arm and said, +"Cousin Frank--pardon me--Mr. Hemstead, what is the matter? You +look as rapt as if you saw a vision." + +He turned and seemed as startled as if he had, for standing by +him and looking inquiringly into his face was a being that, with +her brilliant eyes and exquisitely clear and delicate complexion, +seemed as beautiful, and at the same time as frail and ready to +vanish, as the snow-wreaths without. + +She saw the strong admiration and almost wonder depicted on his +open face, though she seemed so innocently oblivious of it, and for +a moment left him under the spell, then said, "Are you so resentful +at my desertion last evening that you won't speak to me?" + +"Look there," he replied, and he pointed to the fairy-land without. + +Lottie's wonder and delight were almost equal to his own, for she +had never witnessed such a scene before. + +"I am so glad I came!" she said. "We see nothing like this in the +city. Look at those snowy mountains. How vast and white they are!" + +"And look at that little tree with its red berries gleaming against +the snowy foil. They look like those rulsy ear-rings against the +whiteness of your neck." + +She looked at him quickly and humorously, asking, "Where did you +learn the art of complimenting?" + +"I had no thought of trivial compliment in the presence of a scene +like this," he answered gravely; "I was awed by the beauty I saw, +and it seemed as if the Great Artist must be near. I wished to +call your attention to the truth that, like all His work, the least +thing is perfect. That little tree with its red berries is beautiful +as well as the mountain. I now am glad too that you came, though +I dreaded any one's coming before, and the necessity of returning +to common-place life. But suddenly, and as silently as one of those +snow-flakes, you appear, and I am startled to find you in keeping +with the scene, instead of an intrusion." + +"And do I seem to you like a snow-flake--as pure and as cold?" she +asked, bending upon him her brilliant eyes. + +"Not as cold, I trust, and if you were as pure you would not be +human. But your beauty seemed to me as marvellous as that of the +scene I had been wondering at. I am not versed in society's disguises, +Miss Marsden, and can better express my thoughts than hide them. +You know you are very beautiful. Why should I not say so as well +as involuntarily express the fact in my face as I did a moment ago, +and as every one does, I suppose, who meets you. There is nothing +brought to your attention more often, and more pressed upon you. +It must be so. Does not your beauty cause you much anxiety?" + +"What a funny question!" laughed Lottie. "Your frankness is +certainly as transparent as those snow-crystals there. I cannot +say that it does. Why should it, even granting that it exists +independently of your disordered imagination?" + +"It exposes you to a temptation very hard to resist. Such beauty +as yours should be but the reflex of character. I once saw, in an +art gallery of New York, a marble face so white, pure, and sweet, +that it has ever remained in my memory as an emblem of spiritual +beauty. Suppose every one that came in should touch that face, and +some with coarse and grimy fingers, what a smutched and tawdry look +it would soon have. You cannot help the admiring glances, flattering +words, and the homage that ever waits on beauty, any more than +the marble face the soiling touch of any Vandal hand; but you can +prevent your soul from being stained and smirched with vanity and +pride." + +"I never had any one to talk to me in this way," said Lottie, looking +demurely down. "Perhaps I should have been better if I had. I fear +you think me very vain and conceited." + +"I should think it very strange if you were not somewhat vain. And +yet you do not act as if you were." + +"Supposing I am vain. What difference does it make, if no one knows +it?" she asked abruptly. + +"There are two who always will know it." + +"Who?" + +"God and yourself. And by and by all masks must be dropped, and +all the world see us as we are." + +"Do you believe that?" she asked, a little startled at the thought. + +"I know it," he replied, in a tone of quiet confidence that carries +more conviction than loud assertion. "Moreover, your beauty involves +a heavy burden of responsibility." + +"Really, Mr. Hemstead, if you keep on you will prove beauty a great +misfortune, whether I possess it or not." + +"Far from it." + +"Granting for sake of argument your premise, how am I burdened with +responsibility?" + +"Would it not almost break your heart, if your honorable father +were misappropriating money intrusted to his care?" + +"Don't suggest such a thing." + +"Only for the sake of illustration. Suppose he had the qualities +and position which led a great many to place their means in his +hands; would that not increase his responsibility?" + +"Yes, if he accepted such trusts." + +"Are there not more valuable possessions than dollars, stocks, +and bonds? Every one is more or less fascinated, drawn, and won by +beauty, and to the beautiful the most sacred thoughts and feelings +of the heart are continually intrusted. History and biography show +that beautiful women, if true, gentle, and unselfish, have great +power with their own sex, and almost unbounded influence over men. +Your power, therefore, is subtle, penetrating, and reaches the inner +life, the very warp and woof of character. If a beautiful statue +can ennoble and refine, a beautiful woman can accomplish infinitely +more. She can be a constant inspiration, a suggestion of the perfect +life beyond and an earnest of it. All power brings responsibility, +even that which a man achieves or buys; but surely, if one receives +Heaven's most exquisite gifts, bestowed as directly as this marvellous +beauty without, and so is made pre-eminent in power and influence, +she is under a double responsibility to use that power for good. +That a woman can take the royal gift of her own beauty, a divine +heritage, one of the most suggestive relics of Eden still left +among us, and daily sacrifice it on the poorest and meanest of +altars--her own vanity--is to me hard to understand. It is scarcely +respectable heathenism. But to use her beauty as a lure is far +worse. Do we condemn wreckers, who place false, misleading lights +upon a dangerous coast? What is every grace of a coquette, but a +false light, leading often to more sad and hopeless wreck?" + +No man had ever told Lottie more plainly that she was beautiful, +than Hemstead, and yet she disliked his compliments wofully. Her +face fairly grew pale under his words. Had he learned of her plot? +Had he read her thoughts, and been informed of her past life? Did +quiet satire and denunciation lurk under this seeming frankness? +She was for the moment perplexed and troubled. Worse still, he +compelled her to see these things in a new light, and her conscience +echoed his words. + +But her first impulse was to learn whether he was speaking generally, +or pointedly at her; so she asked, in some little trepidation, +"Has any naughty girl tried to treat you badly, that you speak so +strongly?" + +He laughed outright at this question. "No one has had a chance," +he said; "and I do not think there are many who would take it. +Moreover, I imagine that one of your proud belles would not even +condescend to flirt with a poor awkward fellow like me. But I am +not a croaking philosopher, and look on the bright side of the +world. It has always treated me quite as well as I deserved. I often +think the world is not so bad as described, and that it would be +better, if it had a chance." + +"Have you seen much of it, Mr. Hemstead?" + +"I cannot say that I have. I have read and thought about it far +more than I have seen. On account of my limited means and student +life, my excursions have been few and far between. I have already +proved to you what an awkward stranger I am to society. But in +thought and fancy I have been a great rambler, and like to picture +to myself all kinds of scenes, past and present, and to analyze +all kinds of character." + +"I hope you won't analyze mine," she said, looking at him rather +distrustfully. "I should not like to be dissected before I was +dead." + +"I wish all were as able to endure analysis as yourself, Miss +Marsden. In any case, you have no reason to fear a severe critic +in me." + +"Why not?" + +"Because you have been so lenient towards me. I have received more +kindness from you, a stranger, than from my own kindred." + +"You are very grateful." + +"Shakespeare declares ingratitude a 'marble-hearted fiend.'" + +"You evidently are not 'marble-hearted.'" + +"Though possibly a fiend. Thank you." + +"I wish there were no worse to fear." + +"You need not have occasion to fear any." + +"Well, I can't say that I do very much. Perhaps it would be better +for me if I did." + +"Why so?" + +"Then I should be more afraid to do wrong. Miss Parton cannot do +wrong with any comfort at all." + +"Well, that would be a queer religion which consisted only in being +afraid of the devil and his imps." + +"What is religion? I am foolish in asking such a question however, +for I suppose it would take you a year to answer it, and they will +all be down to breakfast in a few moments." + +"O, no, I can answer it in a sentence. True religion is worshipping +God in love and faith, and obeying Him." + +"Is that all?" exclaimed Lottie, in unfeigned astonishment. + +"That is a great deal." + +"Perhaps it is. You theologians have a way of preaching awfully +long and difficult sermons from simple texts. But I never got as +simple an idea of religion as that from our minister." + +"I fear you think I have been preaching for the last half-hour. +Perhaps I can best apologize for my long homilies this morning by +explaining. When an artist is in his best mood, he wishes to be +at his easel. The same is true of every one who does something con +amore. When I saw the transfigured world this morning, it was like +a glimpse into heaven, and--" + +"And a naughty little sinner came in just at that moment, and +got the benefit of your mood," interrupted Lottie. "Well, I have +listened to your sermon and understand it, and that is more than I +can say of many I have heard. It certainly was pointed, and seemed +pointed at me, and I have heard it said that it is proof of a good +sermon for each one to go away feeling that he has been distinctly +preached at. But permit me as a friend, Mr. Hemstead, to suggest that +this will not answer in our day. I fear, from my little foretaste, +that people will not be able to sit comfortably under your homilies, +and unless you intend to preach out in the back-woods, you must +modify your style." + +"That is where I do intend to preach. At least upon the frontiers +of our great West." + +"O, how dismal!" she exclaimed. "And can you, a young, and I suppose +an ambitious man, look forward to being buried alive, as it were, +in those remote regions?" + +"I assure you I do not propose to be buried alive at the West, or +spiritually smothered, as you hinted, in a fashionable church at +the East. I think the extreme West, where states and society are +forming with such marvellous rapidity, is just the place for a +young, and certainly for an ambitious man. Is it nothing to have +a part in founding and shaping an empire?" + +"You admit that you are ambitious, then." + +"Yes." + +"Is that right?" + +"I think so." + +"Our minister inveighs against ambition, as if it were one of the +deadly sins." + +"He means the ambition that is all for self. That is as wrong and +contemptible as the beauty that is miserable without a looking-glass. +An ardent desire to obtain my Divine Master's approval, and to be +worthy of it--to be successful in serving a noble cause--cannot be +wrong." + +She looked at his earnest face and eyes, that seemed to glow with +hidden fire, almost wistfully; and said with a tinge of sadness, "You +will feel very differently I fear, twenty years hence. Enthusiasm +is a rare thing in the city, and I imagine it is soon quenched +everywhere." + +"So it is; it needs constant rekindling." + +Just then Mrs. Marchmont and Mr. Dimmerly appeared, and soon after +they all sat down to a late breakfast. + + + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +A SLEIGH-RIDE AND SOMETHING MORE. + + + + + +Lottie assumed an unusual degree of gayety during the early part +of the meal, but her flow of spirits seemed unequal, and to flag +towards the last. She had sudden fits of abstraction, during which +her jetty eyebrows contracted into unwonted frowns. + +Her practical joke did not promise so well as on the evening +before. That unexpected half-hour's talk had shown some actions in +a new light. She did not mind doing wicked things that had a spice +of hardihood and venturesomeness in them. But to do what had been +made to appear mean and dishonorable was another thing, and she was +provoked enough at Hemstead for having unconsciously given that +aspect to her action and character, and still more annoyed and +perplexed that her conscience should so positively side with him. +Thus it will be seen that her conscience was unawakened, rather +than seared and deadened. + +As she came to know Hemstead better, she found that he was different +from what she had expected. The conventional idea of a theological +student had dwelt in her mind; and she had expected to find a +rather narrow and spiritually conceited man, full of the clerical +mannerisms which she had often heard laughed at. But she saw that +Hemstead's awkwardness would wear away, through familiarity with +society, and that, when at ease, he was simple and manly in manner. +She also perceived that this seclusion from the world, which was +the cause of his diffidence, had been employed in training and +richly storing his mind. Moreover, to one so accustomed to the +insincerity of society, his perfect frankness of speech and manner +was a novelty, interesting, if not always pleasing. She read his +thoughts as she would an open page, and saw that he esteemed her +as a true, sincere girl, kind and womanly, and that he had for her +the strongest respect. She feared that when he discovered her true +self he would scorn her to loathing. Not that she cared, except +that her pride would be hurt. But as she was more proud than vain, +she feared this honest man's verdict. + +But soon her old reckless self triumphed. "Of course what I am +doing will seem awful to him," she thought. "I knew that before I +commenced. He shall not preach me out of my fun in one half-hour. +If I could make him love me in spite of what I am, it would be the +greater triumph. After all, I am only acting as all the girls in +my set do when they get a chance. It's not as bad as he makes out." + +Still that was an eventful half-hour, when they looked out upon a +transfigured world together; and while she saw nature in her rarest +and purest beauty, she had also been given a glimpse into the more +beautiful world of truth, where God dwells. + +But, as the morning advanced, good impulses and better feelings +and thoughts vanished, even as the snow-wreaths were dropping from +branch and spray, leaving them as bare as before. By the time the +sleigh drove up to the door she was as bent as ever upon victimizing +the "Western giant," as the conspirators had named him. She was +her old, decided, resolute self; all the more resolute because +facing, to her, a new hindrance,--her own conscience, which Hemstead +had unwittingly awakened; and it said to its uncomfortable possessor +some rather severe things that day. + +If Lottie were Bel Parton, she would have been in a miserably +undecided state. But it was her nature to carry out what she had +begun, if for no other reason than that she had begun it, and she +was not one to give up a frolic at anyone's scolding,--even her +own. + +As she tripped down the broad stairs in a rich cloak trimmed with +fur, she reminded Hemstead of some rare tropical bird, and De Forrest +indulged in many notes of admiration. Lottie received these as a +matter of course, but looked at the student with genuine interest. +His expression seemed to satisfy her, for she turned away to hide +a smile that meant mischief. + +It was quietly arranged that Hemstead should sit beside her, and +he felicitated himself over their artifice as if it were rare good +fortune. + +Though the sun and the rising breeze had shaken off the clustering +snow to a great extent, the evergreens still bent beneath their +beautiful burdens, some straight cedars reminding one of vigorous +age, where snowy hair and beard alone suggest the flight of years. + +Though the face of nature was so white, it was not the face of +death. There was a sense of movement and life which was in accord +with their own spirits and rapid motion. Snow-birds fluttered and +twittered in weedy thickets by the way-side, breakfasting on the +seeds that fell like black specks upon the snow. The bright sunlight +had lured the red squirrels from their moss-lined nests in hollow +trees, and their barking was sometimes heard above the chime of +the bells. + +"There goes a parson crow," cried Addie Marchmont. "How black and +solemn he looks against the snow!" + +"Why are crows called parsons, Mr. Hemstead?" asked Lottie, as a +child might. + +"Indeed, I don't know. For as good a reason, I suppose, as that +some girls are called witches." + +She gave him a quick, keen look, and said, "I hope you mean nothing +personal." + +"I should never charge you with being a witch, Miss Marsden, but +I might with witchery." + +"A distinction without a difference," she said, seeking to lead +him on. + +"He means," explained De Forrest, "that you might be bewitching if +you chose." + +"Hush, Julian, you leave no room for the imagination," said Lottie, +frowningly. + +"Look at that farm-yard, Miss Marsden," said Hemstead. "The occupants +seem as glad that the storm is over as we are. What pictures of +placid content those ruminating cows are under that sunny shed. See +the pranks of that colt which the boy is trying to lead to water. +I wish I were on his back, with the prairie before me." + +"Indeed, are you so anxious to escape present company?" + +"Now I didn't say that. But we have passed by, and I fear you did +not see the pretty rural picture to which I called your attention. +Were I an artist I would know where to make a sketch to-day." + +"I think you will find that Miss Marsdeo's taste differs very +widely from yours," said De Forrest; "that is, if you give us to +understand that you would seek your themes in a barn-yard, and set +your easel upon a muck-heap. Though your pictures might not rank +high they would still be very rank." + +Even Lottie joined slightly in the general and not complimentary +laugh at Hemstead which followed this thrust, but he, with heightened +color, said, "You cannot criticise my picture, Mr. De Forrest, for +it does not exist. Therefore I must conclude that your satire is +directed against my choice of place and subjects." + +"Yes, as with the offence of Denmark's king, they 'smell to heaven.'" + +"I appeal to you, Miss Marsden, was not the scent of hay and the +breath of the cattle as we caught them passing, sweet and wholesome?" + +"I cannot deny that they were." + +"You have judicial fairness and shall be umpire in this question. +And now, Mr. De Forrest, there is a celebrated and greatly admired +picture in a certain gallery, representing a scene from the Roman +Saturnalia. You do not object to that, with its classic accessories, +as a work of art?" + +"Not at all." + +"And yet it portrays a corruption that does in truth 'offend heaven.' +Your muck-heap, which did not enter my thought at all, and would +not have been in my picture, could I paint one, would have been +wholesome in comparison. Have I made a point, Judge Marsden?" + +"I think you have." + +"Finally, Mr. De Forrest, what are we to do with the fact that some +of the greatest painters in the world have employed their brushes +upon just such scenes as these, which perhaps offend your nose +and taste more than they do heaven, and that pictures such as that +farm-yard would suggest adorn the best galleries of Europe?" + +"What artists of note have painted barn-yard scenes?" asked De +Forrest, in some confusion. + +"Well, there is Herring, the famous English artist, for one." + +"'Herring' indeed. You are evidently telling a fish Story," said +De Forrest, contemptuously. + +"No, he is not," said Lottie. "Herring is a famous painter, I am +told, and we have some engravings of his works." + +"And I have read somewhere," continued Hemstead, "that his painting +of an English farm-yard is the most celebrated of his works. +Moreover, Judge Marsden, I must ask of you another decision as +to the evidence in this case. I affirm that I did not call your +attention to the farm-yard itself, but to its occupants. Is not +that true?" + +"I cannot deny that it is." + +"We all know that many eminent artists have made the painting of +animals a specialty, and among them are such world-renowned names +as Landseer and Rosa Bonheur. Moreover, in the numerous pictures +of the Nativity we often find the homely details of the stable +introduced. One of Rubens' paintings of this sacred and favorite +subject, which hangs in the gallery of the Louvre, represents two +oxen feeding at a rack." + +"Come, Julian, hand over your sword. It won't do for you or any +one to sit in judgment on such painters as Mr. Hemstead has named. +You are fairly beaten. I shall admire barn-yards in future, through +thick and thin." + +"That is hardly a fair conclusion from any testimony of mine," +said Hemstead. "A barn-yard may be all that Mr. De Forrest says of +it, but I am sure you will always find pleasure in seeing a fine +frolicsome horse or a group of patient cattle. The homely accessories +may, and sometimes may not, add to the picture." + +"How do you come to know so much about pictures? Theology has +nothing to do with art." + +"I dissent from Judge Marsden's decision now, most emphatically," +replied Hemstead. "Is not true art fidelity to nature?" + +"Yes, so it is claimed." + +"And where does nature come from? God is the Divine Artist, and +is furnishing themes for all other artists. God is the author of +landscapes, mountains, rivers, of scenes like that we saw this morning, +or of a fine face and a noble form, as truly as of a chapter in the +Bible. He manifests Himself in these things. Now fine paintings, +statuary, and music bring out the hidden meanings of nature, +and therefore more clearly God's thought. Theology, or knowledge +concerning our Creator, is a science to which everything can minister, +and surely the appreciation of the beautiful should be learned in +connection with the Author of all beauty." + +"I never thought of God in that light before," said Lottie. "He +has always seemed like one watching to catch me at something wrong. +Our solemn old Sunday-school teacher used to say to us children +just before we went home, 'Now during the week whenever you are +tempted to do anything wrong, remember the text, "Thou, God, seest +me."' When wasn't I tempted to do wrong? and I had for a long time +the uncomfortable feeling that two great eyes were always staring +at me. But this isn't sleigh-riding chit-chat," and she broke into +a merry little trill from a favorite opera. + +Hemstead, with his strong love of the beautiful, could not help +watching her with deepening interest. The rapid motion, the music +of the bells, the novel scenery of the sun-lighted, glittering +world around her, and, chief of all, her own abounding health and +animal life, combined to quicken her excitable nature into the +keenest enjoyment. From her red lips came ripples of laughter, +trills from operas, sallies of fun, that kept the entire party from +the thought of heaviness, and to honest-minded Hemstead were the +evidences of a happy, innocent heart. + +With secret exultation she saw how rapidly and unconsciously the +unwary student was passing under the spell of her beauty and +witchery. + +One must have been cursed with a sluggish, half-dead body and a +torpid soul, had he not responded to the influences under which +our gay party spent the next few hours. Innumerable snow-flakes +had carried down from the air every particle of impurity, and left +it sweet and wholesome enough to seem the elixir of immortal youth. +It was so tempered also, that it only braced and stimulated. The raw, +pinching coldness of the previous day was gone. The sun, undimmed +by a cloud, shone genially, and eaves facing the south were dripping, +the drops falling like glittering gems. + +Now and then a breeze would career down upon them, and, catching +the light snow from the adjacent fence, would cast it into their +faces as a mischievous school-boy might. + +"Stop that!" cried Lottie to one of these sportive zephyrs. "De +you call that a gust of wind? I declare it was a viewless sprite, +or a party of snow elves, playing their mad pranks upon us." + +"I prefer fairies less cold and ethereal," said De Forrest, with +a meaning look at the speaker. + +"What do you prefer, Mr. Hemstead?" she asked. "But where we people +of the world speak of fairies, sprites, and nymphs, I suppose you +permit yourself to think only of angels." + +"Were it so," he replied, "I should still be of the same mind as +Mr. De Forrest, and be glad that you are not an angel." + +"Why so?" + +"You might use your wings and leave us." + +"Were I one, I would not leave you after that speech. But see how +far I am from it. I weigh one hundred and fifteen pounds." + +"I wish you were no farther off than that." + +"What do you mean?" + +"It's not our weight in avoirdupois that drags us down. But I am +not going to preach any more to-day. Listen to the bells--how they +echo from the hill-side!" + +"Yes, Julian, listen to Bel," said Lottie to De Forrest, who was +about to speak. "I'm talking to Mr. Hemstead. See those snow-crystals +on my muff. How can you account for so many odd and beautiful +shapes?" + +"To me all the countless forms in nature," said Hemstead, "prove an +infinite mind gratifying itself. They are expressions of creative +thought." + +"Nonsense! God doesn't bother with such little things as these." + +"We do not know what seems small or great to Him. The microscope +reveals as much in one direction as the telescope in another, and +the common house-fly seems in size midway in animal life." + +"And do you believe that the Divine hand is employed in forming +such trifles as these?" + +"The Divine will is. But these trifles make the avalanche and the +winter's protection for next year's harvest." + +"What is that?" asked Harcourt from the front seat, where he was +driving. + +"Do you know," cried Lottie, "that Mr Hemstead thinks everything +we see, even to nature's smallest trifles, an 'expression of the +Divine creative thought.'" + +"Is that scene such an expression?" asked Harcourt, with a sneering +laugh, in which the others joined. + +By the road-side there was a small hovel, at the door of which a +half-fed, ill-conditioned pig was squealing. When they were just +opposite, a slatternly, carroty-headed woman opened the door, and +raised her foot to drive the clamorous beast away. Altogether, it +was as squalid and repulsive a picture as could well be imagined. + +"Yes," replied Lottie, looking into his face with twinkling eyes, +"was that sweet pastoral scene an expression of creative thought?" + +"The woman certainly was not," he answered, reddening. "A thought +may be greatly perverted." + +"Whatever moral qualities may be asserted of her manners, costume, +and character," said Harcourt, "she is not to blame for the cast +of her features and the color of her hair. I scarcely know of +an artist who would express any such thought, unless he wished to +satirize humanity." + +"You can call up before you the portrait of some beautiful woman, +can you not, Mr. Harcourt?" + +"Let me assist you," cried De Forrest, pulling from his inner pocket +a photograph of Lottie. + +"Hush, Julian. I'm sorry you do not appreciate this grave argument +more; I'll take that picture from you, if you don't behave better." + +"Well, I have a picture before me now, that satisfies me fully," +said Mr. Harcourt, turning to Lottie with a smiling bow. + +"Now, suppose that you had painted just such a likeness and finished +it. Suppose I should come afterwards, and, without destroying your +picture utterly, should blend with those features the forbidding +aspect of the woman we have just seen, would you not say that your +thought was greatly perverted?" + +"I should think I would." + +"Well, Mother Eve was the true expression of the Divine Artist's +creative thought, and the woman we saw was the perversion of it. +You can trace no evil thing to the source of all good. Perfection +is not the author of imperfection." + +"Who does the perverting, then?" asked Lottie. + +"Evil." + +"I don't think it fair that one face and form should be perverted +into hideousness, and mother left with something of the first +perfection." + +"Evil is never fair, Miss Marsden." + +"But is it only evil? I have heard plain children told, when +resenting their ugliness, that it was wicked, for they were just +as God made them." + +"Can you think of a better way to make a young girl hate God than +to tell her that?" + +"But suppose it's true." + +"I am sure it is not. Just the opposite is true. The ugly +and deformed are as evil has marred them, and not as God has made +them. By seeking the Divine Artist's aid more than humanity's first +perfection can be regained. It is possible for even that wretched +creature we saw to attain an outward loveliness exceeding that of +any woman now living." + +"That passes beyond the limit of my imagination," said Harcourt. + +"Absurd!" muttered De Forrest. + +"I fear you are not orthodox," said Bel. + +"That means you do not agree with me. But please do not think that +because I am a minister you must talk upon subjects that are rather +grave and deep for a sleighing party." + +"That's right, Cousin Frank," said Addie. "Dr. Beams will want you +to preach for him next Sunday. I advise you to reserve your thunder +till that occasion, when you may come out as strong as you please." + +"'Chinese thunder' at best," whispered Harcourt to Addie; but all +heard him. + +Hemstead bit his lip and said nothing, but Lottie spoke up quickly: +"No matter about the 'thunder,' Mr. Harcourt. That is only noise +under any circumstances. But suppose there is the lightning of +truth in what Mr. Hemstead says?" + +"And suppose there is not?" he replied, with a shrug. + +Hemstead gave Lottie a quick, pleased look, which Bel and De Forrest +smilingly noted, and the conversation changed to lighter topics. + +As they were passing through a small hamlet some miles back from +the river, a bare-headed man came running out from a country store +and beckoned them to stop, saying: "We're going to give our dominie +a donation party to-night. Perhaps Mrs. Marehmont will do suthin' +for us, or likely you'll all like to drive over and help the young +folks enjoy themselves." + +"Capital!" cried Lottie; "I've always wanted to attend a country +donation. Do you think we can come, Addie?" + +"O, certainly, if you wish, but I fear you won't enjoy it. You +will not meet any of our 'set' there." + +"I don't wish to meet them. I want to meet the other 'set' and have +a frolic." + +"It will be moonlight, and we will have the drive, which will be +the best part of it, you will find," said Harcourt. "Yes, we will +come." + +"Them folks thinks that they's made of different flesh and blood +from the other 'set,' as they call us, and that pretty young woman +wants to come as she would go to a menagerie," muttered the man +as he went back to the store. "No matter, let 'em come, they will +help us make up the salary." + +"Of course, Mr. Hemstead, you will enter upon this expedition with +great zeal, as it will be to the advantage of one of your fraternity." + +"I think, with Mr. Harcourt, that the ride will be the best part +of it." + +"O, for shame! Can it be true that two of even your trade can never +agree?" + +"Long ages of controversy prove that," said Harcourt. + +"I think your profession has done more to keep the world in hot +water than ours, Mr. Harcourt." + +"We at least agree among ourselves." + +"All the worse, perhaps, for the world." + +"That's rather severe if you refer to the proverb, 'When rogues +fall out, honest men get their dues,'" said Lottie. + +"I supposed we were talking in jest; I was." + +"You evidently belong to the church militant, since you strike +back so hard even in jest," said Harcourt. "Very well, since you +are so able to take care of yourself I shall have no compunctions +in regard to your fate." + +Hemstead did not understand this remark, but the others did, +and significant glances were exchanged. He turned inquiringly to +Lottie, feeling that in a certain sense he had an ally in her, but +she seemed looking away abstractedly as if she had not heeded the +remark. She was too quick to be caught easily, and the conviction +grew upon him that while the others from his calling and difference +in views and tastes had a natural aversion, she was inclined to be +friendly. And yet she puzzled him not a little at times, as now for +instance, when she turned and said, "I suppose there are a great +many nice young men at your seminary." + +"I never heard them called' nice young men,'" he replied, looking +at her keenly. + +"O, I beg your pardon,--good, pious, devotional young men, I mean." + +"All ought to be that; do you not think so?" + +"Well, yes, I think so, since they are to become ministers." + +"But not otherwise?" + +"I didn't say that. There's a hint for you, Julian." + +De Forrest's reply was a contemptuous shrug and laugh. It would +be anything but agreeable to him to be thought "good, pious, and +devotional,"--qualities not in demand at his club, nor insisted on +by Lottie, and entirely repugnant to his tastes. + +"Do they all intend to be missionaries as well as yourself?" she +continued. + +"O, no; some no doubt will take city churches, and marry wealthy +wives." + +"Would that be wrong?" + +"I am not the judge. It's a matter of taste and conscience." + +"Would you not marry a lady of wealth?" + +"I would marry the woman I loved; that is, if I could get her." + +"Well added," said De Forrest. + +"Yes, sir, I agree with you. Every man had better add that." + +"Indeed they had," said Lottie, with a mischievous twinkle in her +eyes. + +"There is always a chance for a man who will never take 'no' for +an answer," said De Forrest with a light laugh. + +"Do you think so?" she said, lifting her eyebrows questioningly. +"I agree with Mr. Hemstead. It's a matter of taste and conscience." + +"Do you intend to be a missionary, Mr. Hemstead?" asked Bel Parton. + +"I hope so," he replied, quietly. + +"Yes," said Lottie; "just think of it. He is going away out to +the jumping-off place at the West, where he will have the border +ruffians on one side and the scalping Indians on the other. You +said you would marry the woman you loved, if you could. Do you think +any real nice girl would go with you to such a horrible place?" + +"I'm sure I don't know. If the one I want won't venture, I can go +alone." + +"Do you think she'll go?" asked Lottie, so innocently that the +others had no slight task in controlling their faces. + +"Who will go?" said Hemstead, quickly. + +"The one whom you said you wanted to." + +"Now I'm sure I did not mention any one," said Hemstead, blushing +and laughing. + +"Well, you did not exactly speak her name." + +74 FROM JE&T TO EARNEST- + +"No, I should think not, since I don't know it myself." + +"How provoking!" pouted Lottie. "I thought we were going to have +a nice little romance." + +"It's a pity I've nothing to tell, in view of my sympathizing +audience," he replied, with a glance at the gigglers on the other +seats. + +"But I have been told," said Lottie, "that in emergencies committees +have been appointed to select wives for missionaries, and that +there are excellent women who are willing to sacrifice themselves +for the sake of the cause." + +An explosion of laughter followed these words, but she looked at +the others in innocent surprise. + +"That's a funny speech for you to make so gravely," said Hemstead. +"I fear you are quizzing me. Your missionary lore certainly exceeds +mine in regard to the 'committees.' But there will be no emergency +in my case, and I should be sorry to have any woman, excellent or +otherwise, sacrifice herself for me." + +"I have certainly heard so," said Lottie, positively. + +"I fear you have heard more to the prejudice of missionaries and +their works than in their favor," he said somewhat gravely." + +"But I am willing to hear the other side," she whispered in his +ear. + +"Now I protest against that," said De Forrest. + +"I'll give you the privilege of whispering to Bel," said Lottie, +sweetly. + +"O, thank you," replied De Forrest, with a shrug. + +"You can also help me out," she continued, as the sleigh stopped +at Mrs. Marchmont's door. + +As he did so he whispered in her ear, "Capital, Lottie, you are a +star actress, and always my bright particular star." + +"Don't be sentimental, Julian," was her only response. + +At this moment Lottie's brother Dan fired a snow-ball that carried +off Mr. Hemstead's hat; at which all laughed, and expected to see +the young theologian assume a look of offended dignity. He disappointed +them by good-naturedly springing out after his hat, and was soon +romping with the boy and Mrs. Marchmont's two younger children. +This was too tempting to Lottie, who joined the frolic at once. + +Hemstead laughingly allowed himself to be their victim, and skilfully +threw great snow-balls so as just to miss them, while they pelted +him till he was white, and, as if utterly defeated, he led them a +breathless chase up and down the broad path. Their cries and laughter +brought half the household to the doors and windows to watch the +sport. + +De Forrest ventured down from the piazza, with the thought that +he could throw a spiteful ball or two at one he already disliked a +little, as well as despised. But Hemstead immediately showed what +a self-sacrificing victim he was to Lottie and the children by +almost demolishing De Forrest with a huge snow-ball that stung his +ear sharply, got down his neck, spoiling his collar, and necessitating +such a toilet that he was late for dinner. + +His plight took Lottie out of the field also, for she sank on the +lower step of the piazza, her hand upon her side, helpless with +laughter. + +Hemstead retreated to a side door, where he shook himself after +the manner of a polar bear, and escaped to his room. + + + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +ANOTHER SPELL THAN BEAUTY'S. + + + + + +De Forrest tried to laugh at his discomfiture when he appeared at +the dinner-table, but he was evidently annoyed and vexed with its +author. + +"It was very nice of you, Mr. Hemstead," said Lottie, "to permit +youself to be pelted by us. You evidently did not think us worthy +of your steel. But I fear you gave Julian a strong compliment." + +"I only returned one of his." + +"But he did not hit you." + +"He meant to. We form our most correct judgment of people sometimes +from what they intend, rather than what they do." + +"Well, I thank you for my share of the sport." + +"And I thank you for mine." + +"What occasion have you to thank me, when I almost put your eyes +out with snow?" + +"You did not so blind them but that I could see a face aglow with +exercise. That made a pleasing contrast to the cold white snow." + +"Frank, Frank, you will make Lottie vain," said Mrs. Marchmont. +"I did not know that complimenting was permitted to you." + +"That is all right, sister," said Mr. Dimmerly. "That's where +he shows his good blood and connection with an old family. He is +gallant to the ladies. They can't get that out of him, even at a +theological seminary." + +Hemstead's blushing confusion increased the laugh at this speech. + +"O, mother," exclaimed Addie, "we are all going on a frolic to-night. +You know that poor, forlorn little minister at Scrub Oaks, who +has six children, and gets but six hundred a year? Well, they are +going to give him a donation to-night, so a dilapidated pillar of +the church told us. We were invited to come, and Lottie wants to +go." + +"Very well, my dear, since you and our guests wish it." + +"Now, auntie, that's very sweet of you to answer so," said Lottie. +"I want to see the queer, awkward country people who go to such +places. They amuse me vastly; don't they you, Mr. Hemstead?" + +"They interest me." + +"O, it wouldn't be proper for you to say 'amuse.'" + +"Nor would it be exactly true." + +"Why, Lottie," said Addie, "you know that ministers only think of +people as a sad lot that must be saved." + +"We'll help make a jolly lot there, to-night," said Lottie, with a +swift glance at Hemstead's contracting brows. "Moreover, auntie, +I want to see what a minister that lives on six hundred a year +looks like. We give our pastor ten thousand." + +"You need not go so far for that purpose, Miss Marsden," said +Hemstead, quietly: "that is all I shall get." + +"What!" she exclaimed, dropping her knife and fork. + +"That, in all probability, will be my salary at first. It may be +but five hundred." + +"Is that all they pay you for going out among the border ruffians?" + +"That is the average." + +"I wouldn't go," she said indignantly, + +"You may rest assured I would not, for the money." + +"Frank will change his mind before spring," said his aunt; "or a +year at least among the 'border ruffians,' as you call them, will +cure him, and he will be glad to take a nice church at the East." + +"What do you say to that, Mr. Hemstead?" + +"Perhaps I would better answer by my actions," he replied. + +"But I can see from the expression of your eyes and mouth a very +plain answer to the contrary. Mr. Hemstead, you could be a very +stubborn man if you chose." + +"I hope I could be a very resolute one." + +"Yes, so we explain ourselves when we will have our own way. I +think Aunt Marchmont's suggestion a very good one." + +"If we go to the donation we shall have to take something," said +Bel. + +"O, yes," exclaimed Addie; "I am told all sorts of queer things are +brought. Let us take the oddest and most outlandish we can think +of. Uncle, there is your old blue dresscoat; we will take that +for the minister. Wouldn't he look comical preaching in it? And, +mother, there is your funny low-necked satin dress that you wore +when a young lady. I will take that for his wife." + +"I understand everybody brings pies to a donation," said Harcourt. +"I shall be more pious than any of them, and bring over fifty +from town this afternoon. I will buy all the bake-shops out, in my +zeal,--enough to give the parson and all his people the dyspepsia +for a month." + +"If he lives on six hundred, nothing could give him the dyspepsia +save his own sermons, I imagine," said De Forrest. "My young lady +friends have half filled one of my bureau drawers with smoking-caps. +I have one with me, and will give it to the minister." + +"You vain fellow," laughed Lottie. "I never gave you one." + +"Rest assured, no minister--even were he a minister to the Court +of St. James--should get it, if you had." + +"What will you take, Mr. Hemstead?" asked Lottie, noting his grave +face. + +"I shall not go." + +"Why not? You spoke as if you would, this morning." + +"I cannot go under the circumstances." + +"Why not?" asked Addie, rather sharply. + +"Could we take such gifts to a gentleman and lady, Cousin Addie?" + +"Well, I suppose not," she answered, reddening. + +"I see no proof that this clergyman and his wife are not in the fact +that they are compelled to live on six hundred a year. Besides, I +have too much respect for the calling." + +"Don't you see?" said De Forrest to Addie, in a loud whisper. "'Our +craft is in danger.'" + +"Your explanation is more crafty than true, Mr. De Forrest," said +Hemstead, looking him straight in the eyes. + +"Come," cried Lottie, "my party is not to be broken up. Mr. +Hemstead, you need not look so serious or take the matter so much +to heart. As you declared once before to-day, we were only 'talking +in jest.' You cannot think we would willingly hurt the feelings of +your brother clergyman. Surely, if you thought they were serious, +it was good of you to stand up for him. We will all give money: +that must be the thing the poor man needs most sorely." + +"I will give twenty-five dollars if you will, Mr. Hemstead," said +De Forrest, with a malicious twinkle in his eye. + +"That's liberal of you, Julian. That's action in the right +direction," said Lottie; and she turned to Hemstead, expecting a +prompt response. But the moment she saw his face she surmised the +truth and De Forrest's motive in making the offer, and what had +appeared generous was now seen to be the reverse. But she determined +that Julian should give the money, nevertheless. Still she did not +at once interfere, but watched with no little curiosity, to see +how Hemstead would extricate himself. + +The young man was much embarrassed. He had an innate horror of +seeming niggardly, and the course he had taken made his position +more delicate. But his simplicity and truthfulness came to his +aid, and he said firmly, although with a crimson face, "I am sorry +I cannot accept your generous proposition, but I will give in +accordance with my ability. I can give only five dollars." + +Mr. Dimmerly and Mrs. Marchmont looked annoyed, while Addie gave +utterance to an audible titter. Bel laughed, and then looked as if +she had done wrong. + +But Lottie, with graceful tact, which was still only good acting, +said: "And that, I am sure, is all that can be asked of Mr. Hemstead +or of any one. But the poor man shall not lose the money, Julian, +for I will supply Mr. Hemstead with what is lacking." + +"Pardon me, Miss Marsden, I cannot take it." + +"Not even for this needy minister with his six children?" + +"I cannot sacrifice my self-respect for any one," he said. "Why +cannot Mr. De Forrest give what he wishes without imposing a +condition which leaves it doubtful whether he is to give at all?" + +"O, yes, he is to give," said Lottie, promptly. "I take your offer, +Julian. It's delightful to have such a genuine object of charity +as a minister living on six hundred a year." + +This was spoken very innocently, but was in reality a keen thrust +at Hemstead, who had so recently stated his prospective income at +that sum. That the others understood it as such was shown by their +significant glances, as they rose from the table. + +Hemstead could not discover from Lottie's face whether she meant +a covert allusion to himself or not. + +Harcourt drove over to town, promising to be back in time. The +other young people said that the long drive had made them drowsy, +and retired to their rooms for a nap. Hemstead went to the parlor and +tried to read, but his thoughts wandered strangely. The beautiful +face of Lottie Marsden haunted him, and the puzzling contradictions of +her words and manner kept rising in his mind for solution. After +a prolonged revery, he came to the conclusion: "I have left nothing +ambiguous about myself. If she is friendly after this she knows +just who and what I am. It's plain the others think me no addition +to their company, and I'm almost sorry I accepted aunt's invitation. +However, I can shorten the visit if I choose;" and he turned +resolutely to his book. + +Instead of donning her wrapper, as did Bel, Lottie sat down before +the fire, and, as was often her custom, commenced half-talking to +her friend and familiar, and half-thinking aloud to herself. + +"Well, he is the frankest and most transparent man I ever saw. I +have been acquainted with him but a few hours, and I feel that I +know him better than I do Julian, with whom I have been intimate +so many years." + +"He's sincerely, honestly good, too," said Bel. "I think it's too +bad, Lottie, that you all treat him so. It's really wicked." + +"Yes," said Lottie, meditatively. "It's a good deal more wicked +than I thought it would be." + +"Then you will give it up." + +"No indeed. I haven't said that." + +"How can you do it, Lottie, when you know it is wrong?" + +"I knew it was wrong when I commenced. I only know now that it is +a little more wrong. Why should I give up my fun on that account? +I might as well die for an old black sheep as a speckled lamb." + +Bel yawned at the rather peculiar and tragic ending that Lottie +suggested for herself, and was soon dozing on a lounge. But +either a restless spirit of mischief, or a disturbed conscience, +prevented Lottie from following her example. + +It would at times seem true that, when engaged in something that +conscience forbids, the very opposition incites and leads to +the evil. The conflict between inclination and the sense of right +creates a feverish unrest, in which one cannot settle down to +ordinary pursuits and duties. If principle holds the reins, and +the voice of conscience is clear and authoritative, the disturbed +mental and moral state will end in the firm choice of duty, and +consequent peace and rest. But if, as in the case of Lottie Marsden, +impulse rules in the place of principle, and conscience is merely +like a half-dreaded, reproachful face, this unrest is the very hour +and opportunity for temptation. Some escape from self and solitude +must be found; some immediate excitement must engross the thoughts; +and the very phase of evil against which conscience is vainly +protesting has at the same time the most dangerous fascination. + +So Lottie escaped from her own self-reproaches as a naughty child +runs away from a scolding, and was soon at the parlor entrance with +a noiseless tread, a grace of motion, and a motive that suggested +the lithe panther stealing on its prey. The door was ajar, and +a hasty glance revealed that the object of her designs was alone. +Her stealthy manner changed instantly, and she sauntered into the +room with quiet indifference, humming an air from Faust. + +"O, you are here!" she exclaimed, as if suddenly becoming aware +of his presence. "Why do you not take a nap like the others? I hope +you are not troubled by a bad conscience." + +"What suggested a bad conscience, Miss Marsden?" + +"Your sleeplessness." + +"I am glad it was not your own. Why are you not taking a nap? I +thought you started for one." + +"So I did, but found I did not want it. But you are not a Yankee +that you must answer my question with another. What are you reading? +Won't you read it to me?" + +"I would rather not read this book to you; but I will any other +that you wish." + +"You must learn human nature better, Mr. Hemstead. Don't you know +that you have said just enough to make me wish that book and no +other? What is it about?" + +"I feel sure that it will have no interest for you. It is one of +the latest infidel attacks upon the Bible." + +"O, you are afraid to have me read it." + +"Yes; but not for the reasons implied in your tone." + +"Don't you see that you are taking the very course to awaken my +curiosity, and to make me wish to hear just that book? If you had +said, 'Certainly, I'll read it to you, but you won't like it, for +it's only a dry, heavy book upon a heavy subject,' I would never +have looked into it, but would have asked for something else." + +"That would hardly be true, Miss Marsden. Though I regard it as an +evil and dangerous book, it is exceedingly clever, and well written, +and it is quite popular in some circles. I suppose it has been +sent up to Aunt Marchmont with other new books of note." + +"I must certainly read it, since you won't read it to me. Forbid +a child to do a thing, you know, and you have given the strongest +motive for doing just that thing." + +"You are not a child, Miss Marsden." + +"What am I, then?" + +"I hardly know; but you are capable of realizing one's best ideal, +almost." + +"Almost! thank you." + +"Perhaps my language is stronger than you realize. The woman who +could answer to my ideal would be nearly perfect." + +"And do you think such a paragon would go out among the border +ruffians with you?" + +"No, nor anywhere else with me. I was speaking of my ideal." + +"You do not expect to marry your ideal, then?" + +"I suppose love transfigures the one we love, and that this is the +only way we can ever meet our ideal in this life. But sometimes we +see one who it seems might approach even the ideal of our unbiased +fancy." + +"It is well that you admire these exquisite creatures at a distance," +she said, dryly. "I can't see why men will always be so foolish +as to think pretty women are good women. But if I am not a child +why may I not read that book? You intimate that it will not shake +my belief." + +"I do not think it would,--at least I hope it would not." + +"You are not sure." + +"I'm sure it will not shake the Bible. Every age has teemed with +infidel books. Yet God's Word stands to-day as strong and serene +as that mountain yonder, to which the setting sun has given a crown +of light." + +"Your figure is pretty, but unfortunate. The sun is indeed 'setting,' +and soon the mountain will lose its crown of light and vanish in +darkness." + +"But does it vanish," he asked quickly, "in the transient darkness, +like a cloud tipped with light? Such a cloud is a fit emblem of +this brilliant book, and of multitudes like it that have preceded, +but which, like lurid vapors, have vanished from men's thought and +memory. Even with my immature mind I can detect that this clever +work is but an airy castle, soon to fall. What infidel book has +ever gained or kept a lasting hold upon the popular heart? Let the +darkness swallow up the mountain there. If we go where it is at +midnight, we shall find it intact, and just as firm as when the +sun is shining upon it. The searching light of every day, from year +to year and age to age, will find it there just the same. The long +night of moral darkness which culminated in the fifteenth century, +though it hid the Bible, did not destroy it. Luther at last found +and brought it out into the broad light of general study and +criticism. For generations it has been assailed on every side, but +it stands in the calm, unchanging strength that yonder mountain +would maintain, were it surrounded by children shooting against it +with arrows. Believe me, I do not fear for the Bible. If all the +light of human knowledge were turned upon it in one burning focus, +its intrinsic truth would only be revealed more clearly; and if +superstition, as in the past, or infidelity, as was the case in +France, creates temporary darkness, the moment that, in the light +of returning reason, men look for the Bible, they find it like a +great solemn mountain, that cannot be moved while the world lasts, +just where God has placed it." + +"Mr. Hemstead, don't you know that young gentlemen do not talk to +young ladies as you do to me?" + +"You know very well that I am not a society man." + +"O, I'm not complaining. I rather like to be talked to as if I +had some brains, and was not a doll. If you are so sure about the +Bible, why do you fear to have me read arguments against it?" + +"I am not so sure about you. If I should listen to a plausible story +against you, without knowing you or giving you a fair hearing, I +might come to be prejudiced,--to believe you very unworthy,--when +the reverse would be true. So the minds of many, from reading books +of this nature, and not giving the Bible a fair hearing, become +poisoned and prejudiced." + +"Then why do you read it?" + +"For the same reason that would influence a physician to study a +disease,--not that he may catch it, but that he may understand and +know how to treat it. This book is a mental and moral disease, and +I do not wish you to run the risk of catching it, though I do not +think it would prove fatal if you did. Your own heart and experience +would probably correct the error of your head. Such books as these +won't answer in times of illness or deep trouble. We turn from +them as instinctively and certainly as we do from noise, glare, +and gayety." + +The mountain without was now in the shadow. The early twilight of +the December evening had darkened the wintry landscape; but the +ruddy glow of the hickory fire revealed how beautiful Lottie's face +could be, when composed into womanly truth and thoughtfulness. + +"I have never had a serious sorrow or illness, and I wonder what +I should do if I had?" she queried musingly, as these sombre events, +which sooner or later must come into every life, rose up before +her. + +"I know well what you will do when they come, as come they will to +us all," said Hemstead, gently. "As surely as you would cling to +a strong arm were you sinking in deep waters, just so surely you +will turn to the Bible, and to Him who said, 'Let not your heart +be troubled, neither let it be afraid.'" + +The truth, if given a hearing, is ever powerful,--the truths of +our own sad experience,--the answering and remedial truth of God. +Unexpectedly and unintentionally on her part, both these phases +of truth had gained the ear of Lottie Marsden. The sorrowful and +suffering days of the future threw back their shadows upon her, +and her heart sank at their prospect; and with the certainty of +intuition she recognized the answering truth, and felt that she +would indeed be glad to cling to One who had the right and power +to utter such tender, reassuring words as Hemstead had quoted. + +Of all spells, that of truth is the strongest. Under it the impulsive +girl buried her face in her hands and, with a quick sob, cried, "O +that I were better!" + +Then, springing up, she gave Hemstead a strange, earnest look through +her tears, as if she would read his soul. But she saw only honest +sympathy. + +He was about to speak again, but she abruptly left the room. + + + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +FINDING ONE'S LEVEL. + + + + + +Lottie met De Forrest on the stairs, and he was about to apologize +for his long sleep, but she rushed by him like a summer gust. A +moment later she burst into her room and startled indolent Bel out +of her last luxurious doze by dropping into a chair by the fire +and indulging in what girls call a "good cry." + +"What is the matter?" asked Bel, anxiously. + +Lottie's tears were the only answer. + +"What has happened?" cried Bel, rising hastily. "Let me call auntie +or Julian." + +"If you call either you are no friend of mine," said Lottie, +springing to the door, locking it, and taking the key. + +"Why, Lottie, I don't understand--" + +"There is no need that you should. Nothing is the matter--only +I'm blue--I've been thinking of awful things. I was in one of my +moods this afternoon, now I'm in one of my tenses." + +"Unusually intense, I should think. I have not seen you so moved +since Tom Wellesly threatened to blow out his brains for you." + +"He hadn't any to blow out," snapped Lottie, "or he wouldn't have +thought of doing it for such a girl as I am." + +"Well," sighed Bel, who at times was one of Job's comforters, +"I've heard he has never been the same since." + +"I hope he has been wiser, then. How can men be such stupid owls as +to fall in love with me! Can't they see I'm a wicked little heathen?" + +"That is just the kind men like," sneered Bel, misanthropically. +"You expect to captivate (and of course you will) this sincere and +saintly young minister. He already thinks that you are by far the +best of our party, and has some of the first symptoms that your +victims usually manifest." + +Lottie sprang up, dashed away her tears, and commenced restlessly +pacing the room. + +"Bother on the men," she exclaimed. "Why will they be so silly! +The world's a perfect jumble, and we are all lunatics and fools, +crying for what is not good for us, and turning our backs upon +what is. I'm disgusted with everybody, and myself in particular. +Now if this overgrown student makes a fool of himself, like the +others, I shall lose faith in mankind, and I know there is nothing +to hope from woman-kind." + +"I should think you were having a mood and a tense at the same time +this evening," said Bel, looking with some surprise at her friend. +"What has stirred you up so? Have you and Julian had a quarrel?" + +"We shall have plenty more, I foresee," said Lottie, seizing on +the suggestion to hide the truth. Bel smiled satirically. All these +harsh words were but the harmless lightnings of a summer gust that +was passing away. + +"It's only a lovers' tiff," she thought, "and now the billing and +cooing are to come." + +"O, well," said Bel, soothingly, "you and Julian will soon make +up, and then you and all the world will change for the better." + +"We have made up," said Lottie faintly, finding, like many another +sinner in this line, that the first fib requires the second to +cover it up. + +"Well, well; get over your mood quickly, for the supper-bell will +ring in a moment, and you are not ready to come down." + +What emergency of life can obliterate from the mind of a pretty +woman the necessity of a toilet? To Bel, Lottie seemed to come to +her senses at once as she sped to her bureau and commenced brushing +her rumpled hair. But the languid maiden was quite startled as +Lottie wheeled suddenly upon her, declaring, while she brandished +the hair-brush in the most tragic and impressive manner, "If that +Hemstead makes a fool of himself he may, but he shall do it with +his eyes open; I will not deceive him any more." + +Thus conscience, that had been skirmishing all day, appeared to +gain one point of advantage, and Lottie, having made this virtuous +resolve, gained in mental serenity, while the mirror that reflected +her fair face helped to bring back her complacency. + +"Bel," said Lottie, as they were leaving their room, "not a whisper +of all this to any one, as you value my friendship." + +But before they reached the supper-room her resolution failed, as +is often the case when one acts from impulse rather than principle. +She found that she could not so lightly throw away Hemstead's good +opinion. She had been admired, loved, and flattered to her heart's +content, but the respect, esteem, and trust of a sincere, true man +formed a new offering, and it was so attractive that she could not +bring herself to turn from it at once. Then her strong pride cast +its weight into the scale, and she thought: "He talks to me and +treats me as if I were a woman of heart and mind, and I'm going +down to show him I'm a wicked fool. I shall not do it, at least +not now. Little fear but that the disagreeable truth will come out +soon enough." + +"But it is wrong to deceive him," whispered conscience. + +"Suppose it is," answered the wayward will, "I am all wrong myself +and always have been." + +"You promised to show him your real self," still urged conscience. + +"Well, I will, some other time." + +With conscience thwarted and unsatisfied, serenity vanished +again, and instead of being reckless and trivial at the table, as +she intended, she was rather silent, and a trifle sullen, as one +often is even when vexed with one's self. + +Hemstead was expecting a subdued and thoughtful young lady to appear, +whose pensive manner would indicate a nature softened and receptive. +While her bearing was not what he anticipated, it was somewhat +akin, and showed, he thought, that the truth was not without effect. + +De Forrest was still more puzzled; but soon concluded that Lottie +was provoked that he had slept so long instead of devoting himself +to her. True, she had just come from the parlor, where he found +Hemstead standing by the window, looking out into the gloom, +but she had found him, no doubt, so heavy and stupid that she had +rushed to her room in a fit of vexation. This theory was entirely +reconcilable with his vanity, and therefore conclusive; and he tried +to make amends by excessive gallantry, which only annoyed Lottie. +This he ascribed to her resentment for his neglect, and only +redoubled his unwelcome attentions. + +While Hemstead's heart was in a tumult of joy and thankfulness +that so early in his acquaintance, and so unexpectedly, he had been +able to speak to her as he wished and with such seeming effectiveness, +he had the good taste and tact to indicate by no words or sign that +anything unusual had occurred between them. He sought to draw the +others, and even De Forrest, into general conversation, so that +Lottie might be left more to herself. + +With a mingled smile and frown, she recognized his purpose, and +with a reckless laugh in her own soul, thought; "He imagines I am +near conversion, when I never felt so wicked before in my life." + +But catching a glimpse of Bel's surprised face, and seeing that +her abstraction was noted by the others, she speedily rallied, and +assumed the manner that she had maintained throughout the day. + +"It is so delightful to see his large gray eyes turn towards me +wistfully and trustingly, that I cannot undeceive him yet"; and so +conscience was dismissed, as history records has been often the case +with some honest old counsellor in a foolish and reckless court. + +The prospective sleigh-ride and donation party were the prominent +themes, and they hastened through the meal that they might start +early. + +Upon this occasion De Forrest managed to get the seat by Lottie, in +his eagerness to make amends, and Hemstead sat opposite with Bel. +As far as he could gather in the uncertain moonlight, Hemstead +thought that De Forrest's attentions were not particularly welcome, +and, though he scarcely knew why, was glad. He would probably +explain by saying that De Forrest was not worthy of her. + +Lottie's periods of depression never lasted long, and again +the frosty air and quick motion set her blood tingling with life. +In order to escape De Forrest's whispered sentimentalities, she +began to sing. Her naturally good voice had been somewhat injured +by straining at difficult music, under superficial instruction, +instead of thorough training for it, but within a moderate compass, +and in simple music, was sweet and strong. + +De Forrest was enthusiastic in his praise of selections that were +beyond her abilities. Though most of the airs were unfamiliar to +Hemstead, he was satisfied that they were incorrect, and certain +that the music was not over good. Therefore he was silent. This +piqued Lottie, for one of her purposes in the choice of what she +sang was to impress him, from the barbarous West, with the idea of +her superior culture. At last she said, "I fear you do not like +operatic and classical music very much, Mr. Hemstead?" + +"We do not often hear such music very perfectly rendered in our part +of the West. There are airs from the opera that are very pretty"; +and he suggested one that was simple. + +The truth began to dawn on the quick-witted girl, but De Forrest +said, patronizingly, "It requires a cultivated taste to appreciate +such music as you were singing, Miss Lottie." + +"It is not with the music probably, but my rendering of it, that +Mr. Hemstead finds fault." + +"Two of the airs were new to me, and the other I have heard but +seldom," said Hemstead, evasively. + +"How about that one?" asked De Forrest. + +"Well, in sincerity then, I think Miss Marsden does herself injustice +by attempting music that would tax the powers of a prima donna." + +"The boor!" whispered De Forrest to Lottie. + +After a moment she said firmly, "Mr. Hemstead has only said plainly +what you thought, Julian." + +"O Miss Lottie--" he began to protest. + +"I'm not a fool," she continued, "so please don't waste your breath. +You have heard all the star singers, and know how ridiculously far +beneath them I fall, when I try to sing their music. I think you +might have told me. It would have been truer kindness than your +hollow applause. Why our teachers make us the laughing-stock of +society, by keeping us upon these absurd attempts at music beyond +us, to the exclusion of everything else, is something that I can't +understand. My ear is not over nice, but I have always had a suspicion +that I was executing, in the sense of murder, the difficult arias +that the old weazen-faced Italian professor kept me at till brother +Dan said, in truth, that I was turning into a screech-owl. But no +one, save he and Mr. Hemstead, has been honest enough to tell me +the truth. Thus, on many occasions, I have taxed the politeness of +people to the utmost, no doubt, and been the cause of innumerable +complimentary fibs, like those you have just been guilty of, Julian. +Perhaps, Mr. Hemstead, you think a style of music like this more +suited to my powers "; and she struck into a well-known plantation +song. + +"No," said he, laughing, "I think you do yourself still greater +injustice." + +"You probably think I cannot sing at all." + +"On the contrary, I think you have an unusually good voice. I wish +you would sing that air that you were humming when you came into +the parlor this afternoon. I liked that, and imagine it is suited +to your voice." + +"What was it? O, I remember. An arr from Faust, that Marguerite +sings at her spinning-wheel. I think I can give that pretty decently." + +She sang it sweetly, with taste and some power. Hemstead's +appreciation was hearty, and she knew it was sincere. + +"Now that you have done me such good service," she said laughing, +"and shown that mediocrity is my musical position, let us have some +old-fashioned ballads, and all sing them together in sleigh-riding +style." + +"Pardon me, Miss Marsden, I assign you to mediocrity in nothing." + +"O, no, not you; my own abilities place me there. But come, each +one sing"; and she commenced a ballad, well known to the others, +but not to him. + +It sounded very well indeed, only Harcourt's bass was much too +light for the other voices. + +"Why don't you sing?" asked Lottie of Hemstead. + +"I do not know the air or words." + +"Shall we try Old Hundred?" asked De Forrest. "Ahem! The long +metre doxology. + +"Praise God from whom all blessings flow." + +Addie and Harcourt joined in laughingly. Bel began with them, but +stopped when she saw that Lottie did not sing. + +"Do you believe that 'all blessings flow' from God?" asked Hemstead +of De Forrest. + +"I suppose so, according to Old Hundred," he said lightly. + +"You don't 'suppose so' at all, Julian. You know it, as we all do, +however we may act," said Lottie, with emphasis. + +"With such a belief, I--would at least treat Him with respect," +said Hemstead, quietly. "I should be sorry to be under deep +and continued obligations to One toward whom I failed in ordinary +courtesy." + +"I knew it was wrong," muttered Bel, "but--" + +"I have no such belief," said Harcourt, "so your sharp homily does +not apply to me." + +"Where do your blessings come from?" asked Hemstead. + +"Well, those I don't get out of my clients, from where this snow +does,--the laws and forces of nature." + +"Your faith is like the snow, I think,--very cold." + +"If it's cold in winter, it's warm in summer," retorted he, +flippantly; and Addie giggled approvingly, for the reason that it +sounded flippant and smart. + +They had now reached the hamlet of Scrub Oaks, in the centre of +which was a small house that seemed bursting with light and noise. +Whenever the door opened it appeared to fly open from a pressure +within. + +De Forrest acted as escort to the ladies, while Hemstead accompanied +Harcourt in his effort to find a sheltered place for the horses. +This pleased the young lawyer, and he said, good-naturedly, "Don't +think, Mr. Hemstead, that I do not respect your honest convictions, +and I meant no slur upon them. You take things too seriously." + +"I suppose we all ought to make more allowance for what is said in +mere sport and repartee," said Hemstead. "But what to you is law +and force is to me a personal Friend. You know that there are some +names--like those of mother and wife--that are too sacred for jest." + +"Thus people misjudge and misunderstand each other, simply because +they see things from different points of view," replied Harcourt. +"De Forrest provokes me, however. He has no doubts worthy of the +name, for he reads nothing save the sporting news and fashionable +literature of the day, and yet he likes to give the impression that +he is in with us, who read books and think." + +"If you will only read fairly, Mr. Harcourt, I have no fears but +that in time you will think rightly. An honest jury must hear both +sides and have no prejudices." + +The young men now sought the rest of the party, who had squeezed +their way into the little parsonage. It was so replete with life and +bustle that it appeared like a social bombshell, with effervescing +human nature as an explosive material, and might burst into fragments +at any moment. + + + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +"THE OTHER SET." + + + + + +The minister and his wife were scarcely host and hostess on this +occasion, as a self-appointed committee of ladies had taken upon +themselves the duty; but, like all corporations, this committee had +no soul and a very indefinite body. No one knew just who they were, +or where to find them, and some of the members, in the bewilderment +of unaccustomed official position and honors, seemed to have lost +themselves, and bustled aimlessly all over the house. The more staid +and practical sisters of the committee were down in the kitchen, +breathlessly setting tables which were almost as speedily cleared +by people whose appetites were as keen as the winter night without. + +"I do declare," ejaculated Mrs. Gubling, as one devastating tableful +rose lingeringly from the repast, and another flock began to gather +in hungry expectancy at the door,--"I do declare, I'm near beat +out. Is this a starvin' community? At this rate they'll eat up +all there is in the house, and the minister and his wife and babies +into the bargain." + +"Well," said Mrs. Rhamm, conveying the last bit of corned beef, +which had been reluctantly left upon the plate as "manners," to a +rather capacious mouth, "if they would eat up some of the babies +it wouldn't be so bad. I don't see why poor ministers will have so +many babies." + +"The Lord takes care of 'em. We don't," suggested Mrs. Gubling. + +"We all do our part, I s'pose. The worst of it is that it makes it +oncomfortable for a church to give a small salary." + +"I wish our church was more uncomfortable then. It's a shame we +give Mr. Dlimm only six hundred. But come, if we don't git another +table set they'll eat us up." + +"I'd like to see 'em," said Mrs. Rhamm, with a disdainful sniff. + +"Well, you be a bit old and tough," chuckled Mrs. Gubling. + +With the solace of this sally, which seemed true, if not true wit, +these hard-featured mothers in Israel set about their tasks with +the deftness that long experience gives. + +At the time De Forrest conveyed the ladies into the hall, the +upstairs members of the committee were buzzing around somewhere +else, for there was no one to receive them. They were gradually +hustled or carried into the parlor or main room, and here Hemstead +and Harcourt found them in characteristic conditions. Addie's and +De Forrest's elegant noses were decidedly retrousses; Bel appeared +both disgusted and frightened; while Lottie's face wore an expression +of intense and amused curiosity. She was seeing "the other set" to +her heart's content, and all was as new and strange as if she had +visited another land. + +Harcourt joined Addie, and they began to whisper satirical criticisms +on the remarks and manners of those around. Hemstead's interest +mainly centred in watching Lottie, and in noting the effect of her +contact with plain and uncultured people. He was glad he did not +see the repulsion of a little mind and a narrow nature, as was the +case with most of the others. Though it was evident that she had +no sympathy with them, or for them, there was intelligent interest +and wide-awake curiosity. While the others were incasing themselves +in exclusive pride, she was eager to investigate and get en rapport +with this new phase of humanity. But trammailed by her city ideas, +she felt that she could not speak to any one without the formality +of an introduction. But the ice was broken for her unexpectedly. +Feeling her dress pulled, she turned and found a very stout old +lady sitting near her, who asked in a loud whisper, "Been down to +supper yet?" + +"No," said Lottie, "I don't wish any." + +"I do, but I'm afeard I won't get none. You see I'm big and clumsy +anyway, and now I'm so lame with the rheumatiz that I kin hardly +move." + +"It's too bad," said Lottie, pathetically, but with a swift comical +glance at the others. + +"Yes, it's kinder orful to be so helpless," said the old woman, +with a complacent sigh, delighted at having a sympathetic auditor. +"I'm dreadfully afeard I won't git no supper. I'm like the withered +man at the pool of Bethesdy. Whenever they are ready for another +batch 'while I'm a-comin' another steppeth down before me.'" + +"Well, you're not very much withered, that's one comfort to be +thankful for," said Lottie. + +"I'd like to be thankful for my supper, if I could only git a +chance," persisted the old woman. + +"You shall have a chance. When is the pool troubled? When shall +we put you in?" + +"There! now is the time," said her new acquaintance, dropping her +affected and pious tone, and speaking with sharp eagerness. "See, +one batch is comin' up, and 'nother is going down." + +"Mr. Hemstead, will you assist me in escorting this old lady to +the supper-table?" + +Hemstead's face was aglow with approval, and he instantly complied, +while the others, understanding Lottie better, were convulsed with +laughter. + +It was no easy thing for them unitedly to manage the hobbling +mountain of flesh. When they came to the narrow stairway, matters +were still more serious. + +"You shall go first," whispered Lottie to Hemstead, "for if she +should fall on me, good-by, Lottie Marsden." + +Hemstead patiently, carefully, and with the utmost deference, +assisted the helpless creature down the stairs. + +"You're as polite to her as if she were a duchess," said Lottie, +in a low tone. + +"She is more than a duchess. She is a woman," he replied. + +Lottie gave him a quick, pleased look, but said, "Such old-fashioned +chivalry is out of date, Mr. Hemstead." + +"He's right, miss," said the old woman, sharply. "I'm not Dutch." + +Lottie dropped behind to hide her merriment at this speech, and +Hemstead appeared, with his charge clinging to his arm, at the +kitchen door, which her ample form nearly filled. + +"My sakes alive! Auntie Lammer, how did you get down here?" said +Mrs. Gubling. "We hain't ready for you yet." + +"No matter," said Mrs. Lammer, "I thank the marcies I've got down +safe, and I'm goin' to stay till I git my supper." + +"Can I help you?" asked Lottie, glancing curiously around the room. + +They looked with even more curiosity at her; and a strange contrast +she made, in her rich and tasteful costume and rare beauty, with +those plain, middle-aged, hard-working women, and the small, dingy +room. + +For a moment they stared at her without reply, then gave each other +a few suggestive nudges; and Mrs. Rhamm was about to speak rather +slightingly, when good-natured Mrs. Gubling said: "You are very +kind, miss, but you don't look cut out for our work. Besides, my +dear, it's an orful dangerous place down here. I'm afraid we'll +git eat up ourselves before the evening is over. I'm sure you would +be, if you stayed. I wouldn't mind taking a bite myself"; and the +good woman and her assistants laughed heartily over this standing +joke of the evening, while Auntie Lammer, seeing that Mrs. Gubling +was the leading spirit of the supper-room, quivered in all her vast +proportions with politic and propitious mirth. + +All this was inexpressibly funny to Lottie, who had the keenest +sense of the absurd, and with a sign to Hemstead she drew him away, +saying, "This exceeds any play I ever saw. I didn't know people +who were not acting could be so queer and comical." + +"Well, Miss Lottie," he said, as they ascended the stairs, "I admit +that humanity everywhere often has its ridiculous side, but I have +been laughed at too much myself to enjoy laughing at others." + +"And why should you be laughed at so much?" + +"I suppose it is the fate of overgrown, awkward boys, who have a +tendency to blurt out the truth on all occasions." + +"Such a tendency as that will always make you trouble, I assure +you." + +"It hasn't with you, yet." + +"Our acquaintance has been very brief." + +"And yet I seem to know you so well! I would not have believed it +possible in one short day." + +"I think you are mistaken. But you have ceased to be n stranger +to me. I have remarked before to-day, that I knew you better than +some I have seen from childhood." + +"I am happy to say that I wish to conceal nothing." + +"Few can say that." + +"O, I don't mean that I am better than other people, only that +it's best to appear just what we are. People should be like coin, +worth their face--" + +"I was in search of you," interrupted De Forrest, as they stood +talking a moment near the head of the stairs in the hall. "We did +not know but that the sylph you escorted away had made a supper +of Hemstead, with you as a relish. Have you seen enough of this +bear-garden yet?" + +"No, indeed," said Lottie; "I'm just beginning to enjoy myself." + +From openly staring at and criticising the party from Mrs. +Marchmont's, the young people began to grow aggressive, and, from +class prejudices, were inclined to be hostile. There were whispered +consultations, and finally one habitue of the store and tavern +thought he could cover himself with glory by a trick, and at the +same time secure a kiss from Lottie, the prettiest. The conspiracy +was soon formed. A kissing game in one of the upper rooms was +suspended for a moment, and one of the tall girls accompanied him +down as if they were a delegation, and on the principle that in +designs against a woman a female confederate is always helpful in +disarming suspicion. + +He approached Lottie with the best manners he could assume, and +said, "We are having some games upstairs. Perhaps you would like +to join us. We'd like to have you." + +"Do come," added the tall girl; "they are real nice." + +"Certainly," said Lottie, who was now ready for another adventure. +"Come; let us all go." + +"The others needn't come unless they want to," said the young +man; for he didn't relish the lawyer's presence, whom he knew by +reputation, nor the searching look of the tall stranger whom he +did not know. + +"Mr. Hemstead, you and Julian come," said Lottie, and as they +ascended the stairs she studied this new specimen of Scrub Oaks, +who was a loafer of the village as De Forrest was an idler of the +town. They both belonged to the same genus, though the latter would +have resented such a statement as the foulest insult. + +The manners and the smart finery of her new acquaintance amused +Lottie very much. When they reached the room, they found it full +of whispering, giggling young people. + +The tall girl, as instructed, said, "Now let us form a ring with +our hands on this rope." + +This having been done, she said, "Now, Mr. Shabb, you must go +inside first"; and then, with a nudge to Lottie, she explained," +He'll try to hit our hands with his, and if he hits your hands you +will have to go inside the ring." + +What else he would do, she left to be disclosed by action. + +Then he of the flaming neck-tie and bulging cheek took his place +with a twinkling eye that meant mischief. De Forrest and Hemstead +declined to play, but the latter slipped forward and stood near +Lottie. He was not sure, but dimly remembered seeing this game +before, when it was not played so innocently as the tall girl had +described. + +The young rustic made extravagant but purposely vain efforts +to strike the hands of others, and Lottie watched the scene with +laughing curiosity. Suddenly he wheeled round and struck her hands +sharply; and to her horrified surprise it seemed but a second later +that his repulsive face was almost against her own. But something +came between, and, starting back, she saw the baffled youth imprint +a fervent kiss on the back of Hemstead's hand. + +There was a loud laugh at him from those who had expected to laugh +with him. He swaggered up to Hemstead, and said threateningly, +"What do you mean?" + +"What do YOU mean?" asked Lottie, confronting him with blazing +eyes. "It is well this gentleman interposed. If you had succeeded +in your insult I should have had you punished in a way that you +would not soon forget." + +"It's only part of the game," muttered he, abashed by her manner. + +"Part of the game?" + +"Yes," giggled the tall girl, faintly; "it's a kissing game." + +"Did you know it was such?" asked Lottie, indignantly, of De Forrest +and Hemstead. + +"Indeed I did not," said De Forrest; "and if you say so I'll give +this fellow the flogging, anyway." + +"Come right out, and do it now," was the pert response. + +"All I can say is, Miss Marsden," explained Hemstead, "that I +suspected something wrong, and took means to prevent it. How these +nice-looking girls can allow this fellow to kiss them is more than +I can understand." + +"No lady would," said Lottie, as she swept disdainfully out; and under +the withering influence of these remarks kissing games languished +the rest of the evening; only young children, and a few of the +coarser-natured ones, participating. But soon the absurdity of +the whole scene overcame Lottie, and she laughed till the tears +stood in her eyes. + +As they were slowly descending the stairs a faded little woman +said, "I'm glad to see you enjoying yourself, Miss Marchmont. It +was very kind of you and your party to come so far." + +"I am not Miss Marchmont," said Lottie, "though I came with her." + +"Well, as the minister's wife, I would like her and all her party +to know of our grateful appreciation." + +"You thank us beyond our deserts. But are you the minister's wife? +I am glad to make your acquaintance"; and she held out her hand, +which Mrs. Dlimm seemed glad to take. + +At this moment there came the cry of an infant from one of the +upper rooms. + +"O, there goes my baby," said Mrs. Dlimm; "I thought I heard it +before"; and she was about to hasten on. + +"May I not go with you and see the baby?" asked Lottie. + +What mother ever refused such a request? In a moment Lottie was +in the one small room in which, on this portentous occasion, the +three younger children were huddled, the others being old enough +to take part in what, to them, was the greatest excitement of their +lives, thus far. + +Lottie looked curiously around, with the quick, appreciative eye +by which ladies seem to gather accurately at a glance the effect +of a costume and the style and character of an apartment and its +occupants. But she politely, and from a certain innate interest, +gave such attention to the baby as to win the mother's heart. It +was but an ordinary baby, although the fattest and sturdiest member +of a rather pinched household; but Lottie wonderingly saw that to +the faded mother it was a cherub just from heaven. + +Lottie could not understand it. A perfumed baby, in lace and +muslin, might be a nice pet if the nurse were always within call; +but the sole care of this chubby-cheeked Moloch, that would sacrifice +its mother as unconsciously and complacently as the plant absorbs +moisture, seemed almost as prosaic and dreadful as being devoured +alive. + +"Does no one help you take care of that child?" asked she. + +"Well, my husband and the elder children help some." + +"Haven't you a nurse for all these children?" + +"No, indeed. It's as much as we can do to clothe and feed them." + +"Don't you keep any servants at all?" + +"Yes, we have a girl in the kitchen, but she's almost as much bother +as she is worth." + +"How do you get along?" + +"I hardly know--somewhat as the birds do out of doors." + +"Are you happy?" + +"I've hardly time to think. I think I am, though,--happy as most +people. Some days bright, some days cloudy, and now and then a +storm. That's the way it is with all, I imagine. We all have our +crosses, you know, but by and by all will come right." + +"I should be cross enough with all your crosses." + +"They might make you patient. The crossest people I know are those +who shun all crosses." + +"Now I think of it, I'm inclined to believe that's true," said +Lottie, reflectively. Then she whispered, as she walked softly to +the mother's side, "Baby is going to sleep, isn't it?" + +With different expressions they both peered into the full-moon +face, two features of which, the eyes, were becoming obliterated +by the white, drooping lids. Lottie looked as if she were examining +a zoological specimen. Mrs. Dlimm gazed with a smile of deep content +and tenderness. + +The undisturbed rest of the child upon her bosom was a type of her +own mind at that moment. She was nature's child, God's child, and +the babe was hers. + +To the true and simple children of nature, who, without thought of +self or the public eye, are quietly doing their duty in their own +little niches, these moments of peace with strange thrills of joy +are constantly coming. If this worn mother could look down upon +the child, and her plain, pale face grow beautiful with spiritual +light, how must the God who inspires all love--who is the source +of tenderness--have regarded her? + +The expression of this woman's face puzzled Lottie beyond measure. +It was so incongruous, irreconcilable with the burdens, the weary +cares, and ceaseless toil and anxiety of her lot. It was so out of +keeping with the noisy throng and confused bustle that filled the +house, and it dimly suggested to the proud belle a condition of +mind before undreamt of in her philosophy. + +Some new and curious thoughts stole into her heart as she watched +the mother slowly rocking backward and forward, uttering a low, +crooning lullaby,--the gentlest sound that ever falls on mortal +ears. For some reason there came into her soul a sudden loathing +of her own selfishness and callousness. + +After the child had been laid in the cradle, she asked, "What did +you mean when you said, 'It will all come right some day'?" + +"Well, I suppose I meant that God's little children often get +sorely perplexed with their cares and troubles in this world, but +when we get home and sit down to rest and think it all over, it +will then seem right." + +"Home?" + +"Yes, home in our Heavenly Father's house. That's the only real +home we have. We only 'stop,' as the Irish say, here and there for +a little while in this world." + +"And do you think of heaven as a pleasant home and rest after what +seems to me your very hard life?" + +"Certainly. How do you think of it?" + +"Well, to tell the truth, I have not thought much about it." + +Before Mrs. Dlimm could reply, there came anything but a heavenly +interruption. It was as if Moses and Aaron were within the cool and +shadowy tabernacle, feasting on spiritual manna, and there came a +delegation from the Hebrew camp, clamoring for the "leeks and onions +of Egypt." + +Though the congregation often said, "It's a pity Mrs. Dlimm is +such a meek and quiet little woman," and though the self-appointed +committee of ladies was so large, and the minister himself was +downstairs, yet when the first real emergency of the evening arose, +the upstairs members of the committee were helpless, and the best +thing Mrs. Gubling, the leading spirit downstairs, could do, was to +"slick up," as she said, and "go tell the parson's wife." But seeing +Mr. Dlimm on the way, she beckoned him aside with a portentous +nod. He, poor man, heard her tidings with dismay. He had fallen +into the habit of taking all his difficulties either to the Lord +or to his wife, and in this case he felt that both must come to +his aid. + +With Mrs. Gubling he at once hastened to the nursery, and entered +rather abruptly. + +Mrs. Dlimm raised her finger impressively, then pointed to the +cradle. + +"But, my dear--" began her husband, rather impatiently. + +"Hush," said the wife, in a low tone; "whatever's the matter don't +wake the baby, for then I can't do anything." + +"Mrs. Dlimm," said Mrs. Gubling, "they've eat up about everything +there is downstairs, 'cept me, and there's three tables yet It's +such a fine night, and the sleighing's so good, that lots more have +come than we expected. I don't know how much money they brought, +but they hain't brought provisions enough." + +"What shall we do?" asked Mr. Dlimm, nervously. + +"If it takes the last penny we have in the world," said his wife, +with grave dignity, "no one shall leave our house hungry. You must +step over to the store, Mr. Dlimm, and buy enough to satisfy every +one." + +"I feel just as you do, my dear," he said, with the air of one who +sees duty clearly, though it is far from being agree-able. "Just +give me our poor little hoard from your bureau drawer, and I'll go +at once." + +Lottie witnessed the scene with mingled amusement and indignation, +and then, her face aglow with a sudden put pose, sped away also. + + + + + + +CHAPTER X + +HUMAN NATURE. + + + + + +The dismal tidings from the lower regions, that the larder had +been stripped and that scarcely even a pie remained, soon became +an open secret, about which every one was whispering and commenting. +The supperless wore a defrauded and injured air. The eyes of many +who had not left so important a duty to the uncertainties of the +future, but, like Auntie Lammer, had availed themselves of the +first opportunity, now twinkled shrewdly and complacently. They +had the comfortable consciousness of taking care of themselves. But +the greater number were honestly indignant and ashamed that such +a thing should have happened. This feeling of mortification was +increased when the committee reported but a small sum of money +handed in as yet. The majority were provoked at others, and a few +at themselves, for having brought so little. As the situation became +clearer, all began to act characteristically, some preparing to +slink away and escape a disagreeable state of things, and others +putting their heads together in the wish to remedy matters. Some +giggled, and others looked solemn. Some tried to appear resigned, +as if it were a dispensation of Providence, and others snarled +about "them mean Joneses and Rhamms." + +Lottie hastily summoned her party together, and told them of the +dire emergency, as Mrs. Gubling had stated it. + +"Now," said she, "if you gentlemen have got any wit worth the name, +you must hit on some way of helping the parson out of his scrape, +for I have taken a great interest in him, or rather his wife. She +is the queerest little woman I ever saw. I shouldn't wonder if she +were an angel in disguise." + +"As you are undisguised," whispered De Forrest + +"O, be still, Julian. That compliment is as delicate as Auntie +Lammer's appetite. But see, some of these mean 'locusts of Egypt,' +after eating their minister out of house and home, are preparing +to go. We must get a collection before a soul leaves the house. +Julian, you lock the back door, and, Mr. Hemstead, you stand by +the front door; and now, Mr. Harcourt, you are a lawyer, and know +how to talk sharply to people: you give these cormorants to understand +what we expect them to do before they leave." + +Hemstead obeyed with alacrity; for the effort to help the overburdened +pastor of Scrub Oaks meet the rigors of winter seemed about to +end in disastrous failure. He had noticed, with satisfaction, that +many of the people shared his regret, and wished to do something, +but through lack of leadership the gathering was about to break +up, each one blaming some one else, and all secretly mortified at +the result. + +Harcourt thought a moment, and then, stepping to a position where +he could be seen through open doors and heard from the upper story, +clapped his hands loudly to secure silence and draw attention to +himself. + +"Do you know where your pastor has gone?" he asked. "He is out +now buying provisions with his own money to feed a crowd who came +here under the false pretence of giving a donation, but, in truth, +seemingly to eat him out of house and home." + +Flushes of shame and anger flashed into nearly every face at these +stinging words, but Harcourt continued remorselessly: "You know +who I am, and I thought I knew something about you. I had heard +that the people back in the country were large-handed, large-hearted, +and liberal, but we must be mistaken. I think this the quintessence +of meanness, and if you break up to-night without a big collection +I will publish you throughout the land. I want you to understand +that your minister has nothing to do with what I say. I speak on +my own responsibility." + +"Capital!" whispered Lottie. "That was red-hot shot, and they +deserved it. If that don't drain their pockets, nothing will." + +But she was not a little surprised and disgusted, when a Stalwart +young farmer stepped out, and with a face aflamed with anger, said +in harsh emphasis: "I was sorry and ashamed to have this affair end +as it promised to, and was going to come down handsomely myself, +and try to get some others to, but since that sprig of the law has +tried to bully and whip us into doing something, I won't give one +cent I want you to understand, Tom Harcourt, that whatever may be +true of the people back in the country, you, nor no other man, can +drive us with a horsewhip." + +The young man's words seemed to meet with general approval, and +there were many confirmatory nods and responses. They were eager +to find some one to blame, and upon whom they could vent their +vexation; and this aristocratic young lawyer, whose words had cut +like knives, was like a spark in powder. Many could go away and +half persuade themselves that if it had not been for him they might +have done something handsome, and even the best-disposed present +were indignant. It seemed that the party would break up, before +the minister returned, in a general tumult. + +The young farmer stalked to the front door, and said threateningly +to Hemstead, "Open that door." + +"No, don't you do it," whispered Lottie. + +He threw the door open wide. + +"O, for shame!" she said aloud; "I did not think that of you, Mr. +Hemstead." + +Without heeding her he confronted the young farmer and asked, "Do +you believe in fair play?" + +"Yes, and fair words, too." + +"All right, sir. I listened quietly and politely to you. Will you +now listen to me? I have not spoken yet." + +"O, certainly," said the young farmer, squaring himself and folding +his arms on his ample chest. "Let every dog have his day." + +Hemstead then raised his powerful voice, so that it could be heard +all through the house, and yet he spoke quietly and calmly. + +"The gentleman who last addressed you now in the spirit of fair play +offers to listen to me. I ask all present, with the same spirit of +candor and politeness, to hear me for a few moments. But the door +is open wide, and if there are any who don't believe in fair play +and a fair hearing all around, they are at liberty to depart at +once." + +No one moved. And the young farmer said, with the sternness of his +square face greatly relaxing, "You may shut the door, sir. We will +all listen when spoken to in that style. But we don't want to be +driven like cattle." Then, yielding farther to the influence of +Hemstead's courtesy, he stepped forward and shut the door himself. + +"Thank you, sir," said Hemstead, heartily, and then continued: "I +am a stranger among you, and am here to-night very unexpectedly. +My home is in the West, and, like yourselves, I belong to that +class who, when they give, give not from their abundance, but out +of their poverty. There has been a mistake here to-night. I think +I understand you better than my friend Mr. Harcourt. From the +pleasantness of the evening mote are present than you looked for. +There are many young people here who I suspect have come from +a distance, unexpectedly, for the sake of a ride and frolic, and +were not as well prepared as if their households had known of it +before. Long drives and the cold night have caused keen appetites. +When the result became known a few moments ago, I saw that many +felt that it was too bad, and that something ought to be done, and +no one was more decided in the expression of this feeling than the +gentleman who last spoke. All that was needed then, and all that is +needed now, is to consider the matter a moment and then act unitedly. +I ask you as Christian men and women, as humane, kind-hearted +people, to dismiss from your minds all considerations save one,--your +pastor's need. I understand that he has six little children. A +long, cold winter is before him and his. He is dependent upon you +for the comforts of life. In return, he is serving the deepest and +most sacred needs of your natures, and in his poverty is leading +you to a faith that will enrich you forever. It is not charity that +is asked. A church is a family, and you are only providing for your +own. How could any of you be comfortable this winter if you knew +your minister was pinched and lacking? The Bible says that the +laborer is worthy of his hire. You have only to follow the impulse +of your consciences, your own better natures, and I have no fears. +A few moments ago your pastor had a painful surprise. You can have +a very agreeable one awaiting him by the time he returns. You can +make his heart glad for months to come, and so make your own glad. +Though I am a stranger, as I said, and a poor man, yet I am willing +to give double what I proposed at first, and if some one will take +up a collection will hand in ten dollars." + +"Give me your hand on that," said the young farmer, heartily; "and +there's ten dollars more to keep it company. When a man talks like +that, I am with him, shoulder to shoulder. Will some one bring me +the dominie's hat?" + +One was soon forthcoming. + +"And now," said the young man, stepping up to Lottie, "you seem to +take a sight of interest in this matter, miss. I think you can look +five dollars out of most of the young chaps here. I'll go around +with you, and see that each one comes down as he or she ought. If +anybody ain't got what they'd like to give, I'll lend it to 'em, +and collect it, too," he added, raising his strong, hearty voice. + +Thus through Hemstead's words and action the aspect of the skies +changed, and where a desolating storm had threatened there came +a refreshing shower. What he had said commended itself to so many +that the mean and crotchety found it politic to fall in with the +prevailing spirit. + +Amid approving nods, whispered consultations, and the hauling out +of all sorts of queer receptacles for money, the graceful city belle +and the blunt, broad-shouldered farmer started on an expedition +that, to the six little Dlimms, would be more important than one +for the discovery of the North Pole. + +"No coppers now!" shouted the young man. + +Lottie, fairly bubbling over with fun and enjoyment, was all +graciousness, and with smiles long remembered by some of the rustic +youth, certainly did beguile them into generosity at which they +wondered ever after. + +The result was marvellous, and the crown of the old hat was becoming +a crown of joy indeed to the impoverished owner, who now had the +promise of some royal good times. + +That fast-filling hat meant nourishing beef occasionally, a few +books for the minister's famishing mind, a new dress or two for +the wife, and a warm suit for the children all round. + +No one was permitted to escape, and in justice it could now be said +that few wished to, for all began to enjoy the luxury of doing a +good and generous deed. + +When they had been to nearly all, Lottie said to her now beaming +companion, "Go and get Mrs. Dlimm, and seat her in the large +rocking-chair in the parlor." + +The poor little woman, having witnessed all the earlier scenes from +the stairs with strong and varying feelings, had, during the last +few moments, seen Lottie pass with such a profusion of greenbacks +in her husband's hat that in a bewildering sense of joy and +gratitude she had fled to the little nursery sanctuary, and when +found by some of the ladies was crying over the baby in the odd +contradictoriness of feminine action. She was hardly given time to +wipe her eyes before she was escorted on the arm of the now gallant +farmer, to the chair of state in the parlor. + +Then Lottie advanced to make a little speech, but could think of +nothing but the old school-day formula; and so the stately introduction +ended abruptly but most effectively, as follows: + +"As a token of our esteem and kindly feeling, and as an expression +of--of--I--we hereby present you with--with the reward of merit"; +and she emptied the hat in the lady's lap. + +Instead of graceful acknowledgment, and a neatly worded speech in +reply, Mrs. Dlimm burst into tears, and springing up threw her arms +around Lottie's neck and kissed her, while the greenbacks were +scattered round their feet like an emerald shower. Indeed the +grateful little woman, in her impulse, had stepped forward and upon +the money. + +The city belle, to her great surprise and vexation, found that some +spring of her own nature had been touched, and that her eyes also +were overflowing. As she looked around deprecatingly, and half-ashamed, +she saw that there was a prospect of a general shower, and that many +of the women were sniffling audibly, and the brusque young farmer +stood near, looking as if he could more easily hold a span of +run-away horses than he could hold in himself. + +At this moment Hemstead stepped forward, and said: "My friends, +we can learn a lesson from this scene, for it is true to our best +nature, and very suggestive. Your pastor's wife standing there +upon your gift that she may kiss the giver (for in this instance +Miss Marsden but represents you and your feeling and action) is +a beautiful proof that we value more and are more blessed by the +spirit of kindness which prompts the gift than by the gift itself. +See, she puts her foot on the gift, but takes the giver to her heart. +The needs of the heart--the soul--are ever greater than those of +the body, therefore she acknowledges your kindness first, because +with that you have supplied her chief need. She does not undervalue +your gift, but values your kindness more. Hereafter, as you supply +the temporal need of your pastor, as I believe you ever will, let +all be provided with the same honest kindness and sympathy. Let +us also all learn, from this lady's action, to think of the Divine +Giver of all good before his best earthly gifts." + +Mrs. Dlimm had recovered herself sufficiently by this time to turn +to the people around her and say, with a gentle dignity that would +scarcely have been expected from her: "The gentleman has truly +interpreted to you my very heart. I do value the kindness more +even than the money which we needed so sorely. Our Christian work +among you will be more full of hope and faith because of this scene, +and therefore more successful." + +Then, as from a sudden impulse, she turned and spoke to Hemstead +with quaint earnestness: "You are a stranger, sir, but I perceive +from your noble courtesy and bearing--your power to appreciate and +bring out the best there is in us--that you belong to the royal +family of the Great King. Your Master will reward you." + +Poor Hemstead, who thus far had forgotten himself in his thought +for others, was now suddenly and painfully made conscious of his +own existence, and at once became the most helpless and awkward of +mortals, as he found all eyes turned toward him. He was trying to +escape from the room without stepping on two or three people--to +Lottie's infinite amusement, though the tears stood in her eyes as +she laughed--when Mrs. Gubling, ignorant of all that had happened, +appeared from the kitchen, and created a diversion in his favor. + +The good woman looked as if pickles had been the only part of the +donation supper in which she had indulged, and in a tone of ancient +vinegar, said, "Them as hasn't eaten had better come and take what +they can git now." + +A roar of laughter greeted this rather forbidding invitation. But, +before any one could reply, Mr. Dlimm, red and breathless from his +exertions, also entered, and with a faint smile and with the best +courtesy he could master under the trying circumstances, added: +"I am sorry any of our friends should have been kept waiting for +supper. If they will now be so kind as to step down, we will do +the best we can for them." + +The good man was as puzzled by a louder explosion of mirth as Mrs. +Gubling had been. The stout farmer whispered something to Lottie, +and then, with an extravagant flourish, offered his arm to Mrs. +Gubling. + +"Go 'long with you," she said, giving him a push; but he took her +along with him, while Lottie brought the parson to where his wife +stood surrounded by greenbacks like fallen leaves, which in the +hurry of events had not been picked up. The good man stared at his +wife with her tearful eyes, and Mrs. Gubling stared at the money, +and the people laughed and clapped their hands as only hearty +country people can. Lottie caught the contagion, and laughed with +them till she was ashamed of herself, while the rest of her party, +except Hemstead, laughed at them and the "whole absurd thing," as +they styled it, though Harcourt had a few better thoughts of his +own. + +Mrs. Rhamm's lank figure and curious face now appeared from the +kitchen in the desire to solve the mystery of the strange sounds +she heard, and the unheard-of delay in coming to supper. Lottie's +coadjutor at once pounced upon her, and escorted, or rather dragged +her to where she could see the money. She stared a moment, and +then, being near-sighted, got down on her knees, that she might +look more closely. + +"She is going to pray to it," cried the farmer; and the simple +people, aware of Mrs. Rhamm's devotion to this ancient god, laughed +as if Sydney Smith had launched his wittiest sally. + +"Mrs. Gubling," continued the young man, "if you are not chairman +of the committee, you ought to be, for you are the best man of the +lot." + +"I'd have you know I'm no man at all. It's no compliment to tell +a woman she's like a man," interrupted Mrs. Gubling, sharply. + +"Well, you've been a ministering angel to us all, this evening; +you can't deny that; and I now move that you and the dominie be +appointed a committee to count this money and report." + +It was carried by acclamation. + +"Now, while the iron is hot, I'm going to strike again. I move +that we raise the dominie's salary to a thousand a year. We all +know, who know anything, that he can't support his family decently +on six hundred." + +In the enthusiasm of the hour this was carried also by those who +at the same time were wondering at themselves and how it all came +about. Strong popular movements are generally surprises, but the +springs of united and generous action are ever within reach, if one +by skill or accident can touch them. Even perverted human nature +is capable of sweet and noble harmonies, if rightly played upon. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +A POSSIBLE TRAGEDY. + + + + + +While the money was being counted, Lottie led Mrs. Dlimm into the +hall, and introduced her to Hemstead, saying, "This is the magician +whose wand has transformed us all." + +"You are the wand then," he said, laughing. + +"What is the wand without the magician?" she asked, shyly watching +the effect of her speech. + +His quick flush bespoke the sensitive nature that it was becoming +her delight to play upon, but he said: "According to legends, magic +power was exerted in two ways,--by a magician, as you suggested, +and by ordinary mortals who happened to find a wand or spell or +some potent secret by which they and any one could perform marvels. +Now I assure you that I am the most ordinary of mortals, and without +my wand I could not conjure at all." + +Lottie gave him a look at this point which heightened his color, +but he continued: "Miss Marsden, in her generosity, shall not give +to me the credit for events which I trust will add a little sunlight +to your life this winter, Mrs. Dlimm. It is to be shared chiefly +by herself and that manly young fellow there, who is a member of +your church, I suppose. It was Miss Marsden who brought us the +tidings of the evil out of which this good has come. She not only +took up the collection with such a grace that no one could resist, +but she suggested the collection in the first place." + +"What do you know about my irresistible grace? You haven't given +me anything." + +"You will place me in an awkward dilemma if you ask anything, for +I have given you all the money I have with me," he said, laughing. + +"Perhaps he would give himself," said simple, innocent Mrs. Dlimm, +who, from Lottie's coquetry and the expression of Hemstead's eyes, +imagined that an understanding or an engagement existed between +them. + +Lottie laughed, till the tears came, at Hemstead's blushing confusion, +but said after a moment, "That would be a graceless request from +me." + +"I don't think you would have to ask twice," whispered Mrs. Dlimm. + +"Did you ever hear of the man who was given a white elephant?" +asked Lottie, in her ear. + +"No, what about him?" said Mrs. Dlimm, simply. + +Lottie laughed again, and putting her arm around the little lady +said, aloud: + +"Mrs. Dlimm, you and your baby could go right back to the Garden +of Eden, and I rather think Mr. Hemstead could be your escort." + +"I trust we are all going to a far better place," she replied, +quickly. + +"I fear I'm going the other way," said Lottie, shaking her head. But +she was surprised at the expression of honest trouble and sympathy +that came out upon the face of the pastor's wife. + +"Miss Marsden does herself injustice," said Hemstead, quickly. +"You have seen her action. All that I have seen of her accords with +that." + +"But you have not known me two days yet altogether," said Lottie. + +"No matter. The last time I was in a picture gallery, I spent most +o the time before one painting. I did not require weeks to learn +its character." + +"I shall judge you by your action, Miss Marsden," said Mrs. Dlimm, +gratefully. "My creed forbids me to think ill of any one, and my +heart forbids me to think ill of you. Those tears I saw in your +eyes a short time since became you better than any diamonds you +will ever wear. They were nature's ornaments, and proved that you +were still nature's child,--that you had not in your city life +grown proud, and cold, and false. It is a rare and precious thing +to see outward beauty but the reflex of a more lovely spirit. Keep +that spirit, my dear, and you will never lose your beauty even though +you grow old and faded as I am. I wish I could see you again, for +your full, sunny life has done me more good than I can tell you." + +Again, Lottie's warm heart and impulsive nature betrayed her, and, +before she thought, she exclaimed in sincerity: "I wish I deserved +what you say, and I might be better if I saw more of such people +as you and Mr. Hemstead. If he will drive me over to-morrow, I will +come and see you. I think he will, for I haven't told you that he +is a minister, and would, no doubt, like to talk to your husband." + +"I might have known it," said the little woman, stepping forward +and shaking Hemstead's hand most cordially. "I congratulate you, +sir. You have chosen a princely calling,--a royal one, rather,--and +can tread directly in the steps of the Son of God. I predict for +you success,--the success a true minister craves. You have the +promise within you of winning many from evil." + +"Believe me," said he, earnestly, "I would rather have that power +than be a king." + +"You may well say that, sir," she replied, with a dignity of which +Lottie did not think her capable. "Any common man may have kingly +power, and the meanest have cursed the world with it. But the power +to win men from evil is godlike, and only the godlike have it." + +Lottie looked curiously at the object of her practical jest. The +words of the pastor's wife seemed to have drawn his thoughts away from +the speaker and herself, and fixed them on his future work and its +results. It is in such moments of abstraction--of self-forgetfulness, +when one's mind is dwelling on life's purposes and aims--that the +spirit shines through the face, as through a transparency, and the +true character is seen. Lottie saw Hemstead's face grow so noble +and manly, so free from every trace of the meanness of egotism +and selfishness, that in the depths of her soul she respected him +as she had never any man before. Instinctively she placed Julian +De Forrest, the rich and elegant idler, beside this earnest man, +self-consecrated to the highest effort, and for the first time her +soul revolted from her cousin with something like disgust. + +What she had imagined became real at that moment, and De Forrest +appeared, looking bored and uneasy. + +"I have found you at last," he said. "We became so wedged in the +parlor that there was no getting out, but now they have completed +the laborious task of counting a sum that a bank clerk would run +over in two minutes, and it is to be announced with a final flourish +of trumpets. Then the stingy clodhoppers that you have inveigled +into doing something that they will repent of with groanings that +cannot be uttered to-morrow will go home resolving to pinch and save +till they make good what they have given." He then added carelessly +to Mrs. Dlimm, not waiting for an introduction, "I am surprised +that you and your husband are willing to stay among such a people." + +Before she could answer, he said to Lottie, "Are you ready to go +home? Harcourt and Addie say we ought to start at once." + +Lottie was provoked at his rudeness, and furtively watched Mrs. +Dlimm's face, to see what impression he made upon her. Indeed her +face was a study for a moment as she measured De Forrest's proportions +with a slow, sweeping glance, which he thought one of admiration. +But, instead of turning contemptuously or resentfully away, her +face was pitiful. + +They were now summoned to hear the result, but Lottie found +opportunity to whisper to Mrs. Dlimm, "What do you think of him?" + +"I don't know what to think. It is painfully evident that he is +not a man." + +Mrs. Dlimm's verdict had a weight with Lottie that she would hardly +have believed possible a few hours before. There was a quaint +simplicity and sincerity about her, an unworldliness, that gave +her words something of the authority of the other world. + +The abstraction that had been on Hemstead's face passed to Lottie's, +and she heard with inattentive ear the young farmer say with hearty +emphasis, "We present you, as an expression of our good-will, with +two hundred and fifty dollars." + +She heard, but still did not heed the pastor's grateful reply. De +Forrest whispered to her often, but her brow only contracted at +his interruption to her busy thought. Suddenly she noted Hemstead's +eye resting on her with a questioning expression. Then with a +seeming effort she came out of her revery, and tried to be her old +self again. + +When Mr. Dlimm ceased, the farmer calkd out heartily: "Good for +you, dominie. Now I call for a vote of thanks to the stranger who +showed us a way out of our scrape. I understand that his name is +the Rev. Mr. Hemstead. Also a vote of thanks to such a young lady +as the city doesn't often send us, who, if she will permit a country +compliment, is like the rose, good enough for a king, yet sweet to +all. I call on both for a speech." + +Lottie, blushing and laughing, declared that she was one who believed +"that a woman should keep silence in meeting," and requested +Hemstead to answer for both. + +"Miss Marsden does not need words," said Hemstead. "She has a +better kind of eloquence, and speaks to us through good and kindly +deeds. My part in the happy results of this evening is slight. It +is comparatively easy to suggest good and generous action, but it +is harder to perform. It is one thing to preach, and quite another +to practise. You have had the hard part,--the practising,--and +yet have done it as if it were not hard, as duty seldom is when +performed in the right spirit j and therefore deserve the greater +credit. If what you have done from generous impulse to-night you +will henceforth do from steady principle, you will all have cause +to remember this evening gratefully. That 'it is more blessed to +give than receive' is true, not only because the Bible declares +it, but because human experience proves it." + +Loud applause followed these words, and then the farmer said, "Now, +Mr. Harcourt, you are welcome to publish all you have seen at Scrub +Oaks to-night" + +At this Harcourt stepped forward and said: "Although not called +on for a speech, I shall make a short one. I have learned a thing +or two this evening. When I make a blunder I am not ashamed to +acknowledge it. Mr. Hemstead and I both wished to bring about the +same thing, only I went about it the wrong way, and he the right. +What I then said as a threat, I now say as a promise. I shall +write for our country paper a report of this meeting, and it will +be greatly to your credit. I take back my former harsh words. I +congratulate you on your action, and commend you for it." + +"Give me your hand on that," cried the farmer. "Three cheers for +Tom Harcourt. If you are ever up for office, sir, you may count on +the vote of Scrub Oaks." + +Thus, with cheery laughter and mutual good feeling, the eventful +donation party broke up, leaving a happier family in the little +parsonage than had ever dwelt there before. + +In a few moments the party from Mrs. Marchmont's were on the road, +though it proved difficult to hold the chilled and spirited horses +long enough for them to get seated. De Forrest again took his place +by Lottie, but she determined to make the conversation general. + +"I've had a splendid time," she exclaimed, "and am very much obliged +to you, Addie and Mr. Harcourt, for bringing me." + +"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," said Addie, "and hope that you +have now had enough of the 'other set,' as you call them. I don't +see how you can endure them." + +"Nor I either," said Bel, "although I suppose we ought to mingle +with them occasionally. But I am tired to death." + +"I was disgusted with them from first to last," said De Forrest,--"the +uncouth, ill-bred crew. I couldn't endure to see you, Miss Lottie, +going around with that clodhopper of a farmer, and, worst of all, +how could you touch that great mountain of flesh they called Auntie +Lammer?" + +"Many men of many minds," trilled out Lottie; but she thought of +Hemstead's treatment of the poor old creature in contrast. + +"Whoa there, steady now," cried Harcourt to the horses; and Hemstead, +though sitting with his back to him, noted that he was too much +engrossed with their management to speak often, even to Addie who +sat beside him. + +"Mr. Hemstead said that Auntie Lammer was more than a duchess," +added Lottie, laughing. + +"True, she's a monster. Bat what did Mr. Hemstead call her?" + +"He said she was a 'woman,' and was as polite is if paying homage +to universal womanhood." + +"I think," said De Forrest, satirically, "that Mr. Hemstead might +have found a better, if not a larger type of 'universal womanhood' +to whom he could have paid his homage. I was not aware that he +regarded bulk as the most admirable quality in woman. Well, he does +not take a narrow view of the sex. His ideal is large." + +"Come, Mr. De Forrest," said Hemstead, "your wit is as heavy as +Mrs. Lammer herself, and she nearly broke my back going down stairs." + +"O, pardon me. It was your back that suffered. I thought it was +your heart. How came you to be so excessively polite then?" + +"I think Miss Marsden is indulging in a bit of fun at my expense. +Of course a gentleman ought to be polite to any and every woman, +because she is such. Would it be knightly or manly to bow to a +duchess, and treat some poor obscure woman as if she were scarcely +human? Chivalry," continued he, laughing, "devoted itself to woman +in distress, and if ever a woman's soul was burdened, Aunt Lammer's +must be. But how do you account for this, Mr. De Forrest? It was +Miss Marsden that took pity on the poor creature and summoned me +to her aid. She was more polite and helpful than I." + +"I have just said to her that I do not understand how she can do such +things save in the spirit of mischief," he replied, discontentedly. +"It really pained me all the evening to see you in contact with +such people," he added tenderly, aside to Lottie. + +"Well, I can understand it," said Hemstead, emphatically. + +"I suppose Mr. Hemstead believes in the brotherhood, and therefore +the sisterhood of the race. I was, in his estimation, taking care +of one of my little sisters "; and Lottie's laugh trilled out upon +the still night. + +"Whoa now, steady, steady, I tell you," cried Harcourt; and all noted +that at Lottie's shrill laugh the horses sprang into a momentary +gallop. + +After a moment Hemstead replied, "You are nearer right than you +think. In weakness, helplessness, and childish ignorance, she was +a little sister." + +"Well, so be it. I have had enough of Mrs. Lammer and undeserved +praise. Now all join in the chorus. + +"Three fishers--" and she sang the well-known song, and was delighted +when Hemstead, for the first time, let out his rich, musical bass. + +But before they had sung through the first stanza, Harcourt turned +and said, "You must be still, or I can't manage the horses." + +In fact, they were going at a tremendous pace, and Hemstead noted +that Harcourt was nervous and excited. But no one apprehended any +danger. + +"How cold and distant the stars seem on a winter evening!" said +Lottie, after a moment's silence. "It always depresses me to come +out into the night after an evening of gayety and nonsense. There +is a calm majesty about the heavens which makes my frivolity seem +contemptible. The sky to-night reminds me of a serene, cold face +looking at me in silent scorn. How fearfully far off those stars +are; and yet you teach, do you not, Mr. Hemstead, that heaven is +beyond them?" + +"But that Limbo," added De Forrest, with a satirical laugh, "is +right at hand in the centre of the earth." + +"The real heaven, Miss Marsden," said Hemstead, gently, "is where +there are happy, trusting hearts. Where the locality is I do not +know. As to that nether world, if you know its location you know +more than I do, Mr. De Forrest. I don't propose to have anything +to do with it. Prisons may be a painful necessity, but we don't +fear them or propose to go to them. On the same principle we need +not trouble ourselves about God's prison house." + +At this moment from an adjacent farm-house, a large dog came bounding +out with clamorous barking. The excited horses were ready at the +slightest provocation to run, and now broke into a furious gallop. +Harcourt sawed on the bits and shouted to them in vain. He was slight +in build, and not very strong. Moreover, he had grown nervous and +chilled and had lost his own self-control, and of course could not +restrain the powerful creatures that were fast passing from mere +excitement into the wild terror which is akin to a panic among men +when once they give way before danger. + +"Good God!" exclaimed Harcourt, after a moment; "I can't hold them, +and we are near the top of a long hill with two sharp turnings on +the side of a steep bank, and there's a bridge at the bottom. Whoa! +curse you, whoa!" + +But they tore on the more recklessly. Bel and Addie began to scream, +and this increased the fright of the horses. Hemstead looked +searchingly for a moment at Lottie, and saw with a thrill that her +white face was turned to him and not to De Forrest. + +"Is there danger?" she asked, in a low tone. + +"Good God!" exclaimed Harcourt again, "I can't hold them." + +Hemstead rose instantly, and turning with care in the swaying sleigh +braced himself by planting one foot on the middle of the seat. He +then said quietly, "Will you give me the reins, Mr. Harcourt? I +am well braced and quite strong. Perhaps I can manage them." + +Harcourt relinquished the reins instantly. + +"Hush!" Hemstead said sternly to Addie and Bel, and they became +quiet,--the weaker minds submitting to the roused and master mind. + +Fortunately the trouble had occurred where there was a straight +and level road, and a little of this still remained. The question +with Hemstead was whether he could get control of the rushing steeds +before they reached the hill. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +MISS MARSDEN ASKS SOMBRE QUESTIONS. + + + + + +Lottie Marsden, although greatly alarmed by their critical situation, +was naturally too courageous to give way utterly to fear, and not +so terrified but that she could note all Hemstead did; and for +some reason she believed he would be equal to the emergency. His +confidence, moreover, communicated itself to her. She saw that he +did not jerk or saw on the reins at first, but, bracing his large +powerful frame, drew steadily back, and that the horses yielded +somewhat to his masterful grasp. + +"Pull," cried Harcourt, excitedly; "you can hold them." + +"Yes, jerk their cursed heads off," shouted De Forrest, in a way +that proved his self-control was nearly gone. + +"Hush, I tell you!" said Hemstead, in a low tone. "I might break +the lines if I exerted my whole strength. Then where should we be? +I don't wish to put any more strain upon them than I must. See, +they are giving in more and more." + +"But the hill is near," said Harcourt. + +"You must let me manage in my own way," said Hemstead. "Not another +sound from any one." + +Then in a firm tone, strong but quiet like his grasp upon the reins, +he spoke to the horses. In three minutes more be had them prancing +with many a nervous start, but completely under his control, down +the first descent of the hill. + +"Will you take the reins again?" he said to Harcourt. + +"No, hang it all. You are a better horseman than I am." + +"Not at all, Mr. Harcourt. I am heavier and stronger than you +probably, and so braced that I had a great advantage. You had no +purchase on them, and were chilled by long driving." + +"Where did you learn to manage horses?" asked Lottie. + +"On our Western farm. We had plenty of them. A horse is almost +human: you must be very firm and very kind." + +"Is that the way to treat the 'human'?" said Lottie, her bold and +somewhat reckless spirit having so far recovered itself as to enable +her to laugh. + +"Yes, for a man, if he attempts to manage at all; but I suppose the +majority of us are managed, if we would only acknowledge it. What +chance has a man with a coaxing, clever woman?" + +"Look there," said Harcourt, as they were turning the first sharp +angle in the road to which he had referred. "Where should we have +been if we had gone round this point at our speed when I held the +reins?" + +The steep embankment, with grim rocks protruding from the snow and +with gnarled trunks of trees, was anything but inviting. + +"Come, De Forrest," continued Harcourt, "brush up your mathematics. +At what angle, and with what degree of force, should we have swooped +down there on a tangent, when the horses rounded this curve?" + +"O-o-h!" exclaimed Lottie, looking shudderingly down the steep +bank, at the bottom of which brawled a swift stream among ice-capped +rocks. "It's just the place for a tragedy. We were talking about +heaven and the other place when the horses started, were we not? +Perhaps we were nearer one or the other of them than we supposed." + +"O, hush, Lottie!" cried Bel, still sobbing and trembling; "I wish +we had remained at home." + +"I echo that wish most decidedly," muttered De Forrest. "The whole +evening has been like a nightmare." + +"I am sorry my expedition has been a source of wretchedness to +every one," said Lottie, coldly. + +"Not every one, I'm sure," said Hemstead. "Certainly not to +me. Besides, your expedition has made a pastor and a whole parish +happy, and I also dimly foresee a seat in Congress for Harcourt as +a result." + +"Very dimly indeed," laughed Harcourt. "Still,--now that our necks +are safe, thanks to Mr. Hemstead, I'm glad I went. Human nature lies +on the surface out at Scrub Oaks, and one can learn much about it +in a little while. Come, little coz, cheer up," he said to Addie, +drawing her closer to him. "See, we are down the hill and across +the bridge. No danger of the horses running up the long hill before +us, and by the time they reach the top they will be glad to go the +rest of the way quietly." + +"You had better take the reins again, Mr. Harcourt," said Hemstead. + +"O Mr. Hemstead, please drive," cried the ladies, in chorus. + +"No," said he; "Mr. Harcourt is as good a driver as I am. It was +only a question of strength before." + +"The majority is against me," laughed Harcourt. "I won't drive any +more to-night. You take my place." + +"Well, if you all wish it; but there's no need." + +"Let me come over, too, and sit between you and Bel," said Addie, +eagerly. + +"No, she can sit with Julian," said Lottie, "and I will go to Mr. +Hemstead. He shall not be left alone." + +"O Miss Lottie! please forgive me," pleaded De Forrest; "I did +not mean what I said a moment since." + +"Well, I'll forgive you, but shall punish you a little. Stop the +horses again, Mr. Hemstead; that is, if you don't object to my +company." + +The horses stopped very suddenly. + +"Please don't leave me," said De Forrest. + +"It's only carrying out the mischief we plotted, you know," she +whispered. + +"Well, I submit on that ground only," he replied discontentedly, +and with a shade of doubt in his mind. It seemed very strange, even +to him, that Lottie could coolly continue to victimize one who had +just rendered them so great a service. But the truth was, that she, +in her desire to escape from him, had said what she thought would +be apt to quiet his objections without much regard for the truth. +She hardly recognized her own motive for wishing to sit by Hemstead, +beyond that she was grateful, and found him far more interesting +than the egotistical lover, who to-day, for some reason, had proved +himself very wearisome. + +"Hemstead heard nothing of this, and was much pleased when Lottie +stepped lightly over and took her place socially at his side. + +"It's very kind of you," he said. + +"I didn't come out of kindness," she replied, in a low tone for +his ear alone. + +"Why then?" + +"Because I wanted to." + +"I like that reason better still." + +"And with good reason. Will you take me again over this awful road +to see Mrs. Dlimm?" + +"With great pleasure." + +"But it's such a long drive! You will get cold driving." + +"O, no! not if you will talk to me so pleasantly." + +"I won't promise how I'll talk. In fact I never know what I'll do +when with you. You made me act very silly this afternoon." + +"Is a flower silly when it blooms?" + +"What do you mean?" + +"You wished you were better." + +"O, I see; but suppose I would like to remain--for a while at +least--a wicked, little undeveloped bud?" + +"You can't. The bud must either bloom or wither." + +"O, how dismal! Were you afraid, Mr. Hemstead, when the horses were +running? I was." + +"I was anxious. It certainly was a critical moment with that hill +before us." + +"How queer that we should have been talking of the future state +just then! Suppose that, instead of sitting here cosily by you, I +were lying on those rocks over there, or floating in that icy stream +bleeding and dead?" + +He turned and gave her a surprised look, and she saw the momentary +glitter of a tear in his eye. + +"Please do not call up such images," he said. + +She was in a strangely excited and reckless mood, and did not +understand herself. Forces that she would be long in comprehending +were at work in her mind. + +Partly for the sake of the effect upon him, and partly as the +outgrowth of her strange mood, she continued, in a low tone which +the others could not hear: "If that had happened, where should I +have been now? Just think of it,--my body lying over there in this +wild gorge, and I, myself, going away alone this wintry night. +Where should I have gone? Where should I be now?" + +"In paradise, I trust," he replied, bending upon her a searching +look. Either his imagination or her thoughts gave her face a strange +expression as seen in the uncertain moonlight. It suggested the awed +and trembling curiosity with which she might have gone forward to +meet the dread realities of the unknown world. A great pity--an +intense desire to shield and rescue her--filled his soul. + +"Miss Marsden," he said, in a tone that thrilled her in connection +with the image called up, "your own words seem to portray you standing +on the brink of a fathomless abyss into which you are looking with +fear and dread." + +"You understand me perfectly," she said. "That is just where I stand; +but it is like looking out into one of those Egyptian nights that +swallow up everything, and there is nothing but a great blank of +darkness." + +"It must be so," said Hemstead, sighing deeply. "Only the clear +eyes of faith can see across the gulf. But you are a brave girl to +stand and look into the gulf." + +"Why should I not look into it?" she asked, in a reckless tone. +"I've been brought face to face with it to-night, and perhaps shall +soon be again. It's always there. If I had to go over Niagara, I +should want to go with my eyes open." + +"But if you were in the rapids above the falls, would you not permit +a strong hand to lift you out? Why should you look down into the +gulf? Why not look up to heaven? That is 'always there' just as +truly." + +"Do you feel sure that you would have gone to heaven if you had +been killed to-night?" + +"Yes, perfectly sure." + +"You are very good." + +"No; but God is." + +"A good God ought to prevent such awful things." + +"He did, in this case." + +"No; you prevented it." + +"Suppose the horses had started to run at the top of the hill +instead of where it was level; suppose a line had broken; suppose +the horses had taken the bits in their teeth,--I could not hold two +such powerful animals. Do you not see that many things might have +happened so that no human hand could do anything, and that it would +be easy for an all-powerful Being to so arrange and shape events +that we should either escape or suffer, as He chose, in spite +of all that we could do. I am glad to think that I can never be +independent of Him." + +"If it was God's will that they should stop, what was the use of +your doing anything?" + +"It is ever God's will that we should do our best in all emergencies. +He will help only those who try to help themselves. He calls us +his children, not his machines. The point I wish to make is, that +when we do our best, which is always required of us, we are still +dependent upon Him." + +"I never had it made so plain before. The fact is, Mr. Hemstead, +I don't know much about God, and I don't half understand myself. +This day seems like an age. I have had so many strange experiences +since I stood with you in the breakfast-room this morning,--and have +been near, perhaps, still stranger experiences, for which I feel +little prepared,--that I am excited and bewildered. I fear you +think very poorly of me." + +"You do often puzzle me very greatly, Miss Marsden," he replied. +"But I think you are prone to do yourself injustice. Still that is +far better than hypocritical seeming. Whatever your fault is, you +proved to me last night, and most conclusively again this evening, +that you have a kind, generous heart. More than all, you have shown +yourself capable of the noblest things." + +Lottie made no reply, but sat silent for some time; and, having +reached the level once more, Hemstead gave his attention to the +horses, till satisfied that they recognized their master and would +give no further trouble. + +"Won't you sing again?" he asked. + +"Yes, if you will sing with me." + +"I would rather listen, but will accept your condition when I can." + +She would only sing what he knew, and noted in pleased eurprise +that his musical culture was by no means trifling. + +"How could you take time from your grave theological studies for +such a comparatively trifling thing as music?" she asked. + +"Some practical knowledge of music is no trifling matter with me," +he replied. "In view of my prospective field of work, next to +learning to preach, learning to sing is the most important. I shall +have to start the hymns, as a general thing, and often sing them +alone." + +"How can you look forward to such a life?" + +"I can look forward in grateful gladness. I only wish I were more +worthy of my work." + +"Did I not know your sincerity I should say that was affectation." + +"Who was it that preached to the 'common people,' and in the obscure +little towns of Palestine eighteen centuries ago? Am I better than +my Master?" + +"You are far better than I am. No one has ever talked to me as you +have. I might have been different if they had." + +"Miss Marsden," said Hemstead, tarnestly, as they were driving up +the avenue to the Marchmont residence, "when you stood beside me +this morning I pointed you to a world without, whose strange and +marvellous beauty excited your wonder and delight. You seem to +me on the border of a more beautiful world,--the spiritual world +of love and faith in God. If I could only show you that, I should +esteem it the greatest joy of my life." + +"That is a world I do not understand; nor am I worthy to enter +it," she said in sudden bitterness, "and I fear I never shall be; +and yet I thank you all the same." + +A few moments later they were sitting round the parlor fire, +recounting the experiences of the evening. + +Before entering the house Lottie had said, "Let us say nothing about +runaway horses to aunt and uncle, or they may veto future drives." + +To Hemstead's surprise Lottie seemed in one of her gayest moods, +and he was reluctantly compelled to think her sketch of the people +at the donation a little satirical and unfeeling. But while she was +portraying Hemstead as the hero of the occasion, she had the tact +to make no reference to Harcourt. But he generously stated the +whole case, adding, with a light laugh, that he had learned once +for all that coaxing and wheedling were better than driving. + +"Appealing to their better natures, you mean," said Hemstead. + +"Yes, that is the way you would put it." + +"I think it's the true way." + +"Perhaps it is. Human nature has its good side if one can only find +it, but I'm satisfied that it won't drive well." + +"I think work among such people the most hopeless and discouraging +thing in the world," said Mrs. Marchmont, yawning. + +"It doesn't seem to me so, aunt," said Hemstead. "On the contrary, +are not people situated as they are peculiarly open to good influences? +Next to gospel truth, I think the influence of refined, cultivated +families could do more for the people at Scrub Oaks than anything +else. If they did not alienate the plain people by exclusiveness +and pride, they would soon tone them up and refine away uncouthness +and unconscious vulgarity in manners. Let me give you a practical +instance of this that occurred to-night. I asked a pretty young girl +why she and the little group around her had given up the kissing +games, and she replied that 'Miss Marsden had said that no lady +played such games, and she wouldn't any more.' Young people are +quick and imitative, and I noticed that they watched Miss Marsden +as if she were a revelation to them, and many, no doubt, obtained +ideas of lady-like bearing and manner that were entirely new to +them, but which they will instinctively adopt. I think she would +be surprised if she could foresee how decided and lasting an +influence this brief visit of one evening will have on many that +were present." + +"But refined people of standing cannot meet with such a class +socially," replied his aunt, with emphasis. "Such a mixing up would +soon bring about social anarchy. Lottie is a little peculiar, and +went there as a stranger upon a frolic." + +"Now, auntie, that designation 'peculiar' is a very doubtful +compliment." + +"I didn't mean it for one, my dear, though I meant no reproach in +it. You get too many compliments as it is. Frank, like all young, +inexperienced people, has many impractical ideas, that time will +cure. Young enthusiasts of every age are going to turn the world +upside down, but I note that it goes on very much the same." + +"I think evil has turned the world upside down," said Hemstead. +"The wrong side is up now, and it is our duty to turn the right +side back again. We can't carry exclusiveness beyond this brief +life. Why, then, make it so rigid here? The One who was chief of +all was the friend of all." + +"O, well," said Mrs. Marchmont, in some confusion, "we can't expect +to be like Him. Then what is appropriate in one place and age is +not in another." + +"No, indeed, Mr. Hemstead," said Lottie, with twinkling eyes. "I'd +have you to understand that the religion appropriate to our place +and age is one that pleases us." + +"I didn't say that, Lottie," said Mrs. Marchmont, with some +irritation. + +"Very true, auntie, but I did! and, as far as I can judge, it's +true in New York, whatever may be the case in the country. But come, +we've had supper, and have kept you and uncle up too late already. +Kiss your saucy niece good night; perhaps I'll be better one of +these days." + +"If kissing will make you better, come here to me," said Mr. Dimmerly. +"I wouldn't mind doing a little missionary work of that kind." + +"No, indeed," laughed Harcourt; "we'll all turn missionaries on +those terms." + +"Yes," said De Forrest, "I'll promise to be a devoted missionary +all my life." + +"There, I said that you would have a religion you liked," retorted +Lottie, pirouetting to the dining-room door. "But I'm too far gone +for any such mild remedies. There's Bel, she's trying to be good. +You may all kiss her"; and, with a look at Hemstead he did not +understand, she vanished. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +A LOVER QUENCHED. + + + + + +Bel followed her friend to their room, full of irritable reproaches. +But Lottie puzzled her again, as she had done before that day. +Gayety vanished from the face as light from a clouded landscape, +and with an expression that was even scowling and sullen she sat +brooding before the fire, heeding Bel's complaining words no more +than she would the patter of rain against the window. + +Then Bel changed the tune; retaining the same minor key, however. + +"I suppose now that you will give up your shameful plot against +Mr. Hemstead, as a matter of course." + +"I don't know what I'll do," snapped Lottie. + +"Don't know what you'll do! Why, he about the same as saved our +lives this evening." + +"He saved his own at the same time." + +"Well," said Bel, exasperatingly, "I wish Mr. Hemstead and all who +heard the fine speeches about your 'kind, generous heart' could +hear you now." + +"I wish they could," said Lottie, recklessly. "They couldn't have +a worse opinion of me than I have of myself." + +"But what do you intend to do about Mr. Hemstead." + +"I don't intend to do anything about him. I half wish I had never +seen him." + +"That you can trifle with him after what has happened to-night is +something that I did not think, even of you, Lottie Marsden." + +"I haven't said I was going to 'trifle with him.' He's a man you +can't trifle with. The best thing I can do is to let him alone." + +"That is just what I think." + +"Very well then, go to sleep and be quiet." + +"How long are you going to sit 'mooning' there?" + +"Till morning, if I wish. Don't bother me." + +"After coming so near having your neck broken, you ought to be in +a better frame of mind." + +"So had you. Neither breaking my neck nor coming near it will +convert me." + +"Well, I hope you will get through your moods and tenses to-day. +You have had more than I ever remember within so short a time." + +With this comforting statement Bel left her friend to herself, +who sat staring into the fire in the most discontented manner. + +"'Capable of the noblest things,' indeed," she thought. "I would +like to know who is capable of meaner things. And now what do you +intend to do, Lottie Marsden? Going on with your foolish, childish +jest, after the fun has all faded out of it? If you do, you will +make a fool of yourself instead of him. He is not the man you thought +he was, at all. He is your superior in every respect, save merely +in the ease which comes from living in public instead of seclusion, +and in all his diffidence there has been nothing so rude and +ill-bred as Julian's treatment of Mrs. Dlimm. Julian indeed! He's +but a well-dressed little manikin beside this large-minded man"; +and she scowled more darkly than ever at the fire. + +"But what shall I do? I can't be such a Christian as Bel is. I would +rather not be one at all. What's more, I cannot bring my mind to +decide to be such a Christian as Mr. Hemstead is. I should have +to change completely, and give up my old self-pleasing and wayward +life, and that seems like giving up life itself. Religion is a +bitter medicine that I must take some time or other. But the idea +of sobering down at my time of life!" + +"But you may not live to see age, Think what a risk you ran to-night," +urged conscience. + +"Well, I must take my chances. A plague on that Hemstead! I can't +be with him ten minutes but he makes me uncomfortable in doing +wrong. All was going smoothly till he came, and life was one long +frolic. Now he has got my conscience all stirred up so that between +them both I shall have little comfort. I won't go with him to Mrs. +Dlimm's to-morrow. He will talk religion to me all the time, and +I, like a big baby, shall cry, and he will think I am on the eve of +conversion, and perhaps will offer to take me out among the border +ruffians as an inducement. If I want to live my old life, and have +a good time, the less I see of Frank Hemstead the better, for, +somehow or other, when I am with him I can't help seeing that he +is right, and feeling mean in my wrong. I will just carry out my +old resolution, and act as badly as I can. He will then see what +I am, and let me alone." + +Having formed this resolution, Lottie slept as sweetly as innocence +itself. + +To Hemstead, with his quiet and regular habits, the day had been +long and exciting, and he was exceedingly weary; and yet thoughts +of the brilliant and beautiful girl, who bewildered and fascinated +him, awaking his sympathy at the same time, kept him sleepless till +late. Every scene in which they had been together was lived over +in all its minutiae, and his conclusions were favorable. As he had +said to her, she seemed "capable of the noblest things." + +"She never has had a chance," he thought. "She never has given truth +a fair hearing, probably having had slight opportunity to do so. +From the little I have seen and heard, it seems to me that the +rich and fashionable are as neglected--indeed it would appear more +difficult to bring before them the simple and searching gospel of +Christ, than before the very poor." + +Hemstead determined that he would be faithful, and would bring +the truth to her attention in every possible way, feeling that if +during this holiday visit he could win such a trophy for the cause +to which he had devoted himself, it would be an event that would +shed a cheering light down to the very end of his life. + +It was a rather significant fact, which did not occur to him, however, +that his zeal and interest were almost entirely concentrated on +Lottie. His cousin Addie, and indeed all the others, seemed equally +in need. + +It must be confessed that some sinners are much more interesting +than others, and Hemstead had never met one half so interesting as +Lottie. + +And yet his interest in her was natural. He had not reached that +lofty plane from which he could look down with equal sympathy for +all. Do any reach it, in this world? + +Lottie had seemed kind to him when others had been cold and slightly +scornful. He had come to see clearly that she was not a Christian, +and that she was not by any means faultless through the graces of +nature. But she had given ample proof that she had a heart which +could be touched, and a mind capable of appreciating and being Moused +by the truth. That her kindness to him was only hollow acting he +never dreamed, and it was well for her that he did not suspect her +falseness, for with all her beauty he would have revolted from her +at once. He could forgive anything sooner than the meanness of +deception. If he discovered the practical joke, it would be a sorry +jest for Lottie, for she would have lost a friend who appeared +able to help her; and he, in his honest indignation, would have +given her a portrait of herself that would have humiliated her +proud spirit in a way that could never be forgotten. + +But with the unquenchable hope of youth in his heart, and his +boundless faith in God, he expected that, at no distant day, Lottie's +remarkable beauty would be the index of a truer spiritual loveliness. + +But, as is often the case, the morning dispelled the dreams of +the night, to a degree that quite perplexed and disheartened him. +Lottie's greeting in the breakfast-room was not very cordial, and +she seemed to treat him with cool indifference throughout the whole +meal. There was nothing that the others would note, but something +that he missed himself. Occasionally, she would make a remark that +would cause him to turn toward her with a look of pained surprise, +which both vexed and amused her; but he gave no expression to his +feelings, save that he became grave and silent. + +After breakfast Lottie said nothing to him about their visit to +Mrs. Dlimn, from which he expected so much. Having waited some +time in the parlor, he approached her timidly as she was passing +through the hall, and said, "When would you like to start upon our +proposed visit?" + +"O, I forgot to say to you, Mr. Hemstead," she replied rather +carelessly, "that I've changed my mind. It's a very long drive, +and, after all, Mrs. Dlimm is such an utter Stranger to me that I +scarcely care to go." + +But, under her indifferent seeming, she was watching keenly to +see how he would take this rebuff. He flushed deeply, but to her +surprise only bowed acquiescence, and turned to the parlor. She +expected that he would remonstrate, and endeavor to persuade her +to carry out her agreement. She was accustomed to pleading and +coaxing on the part of young men, to whom, however, she granted +her favors according to her moods and wishes. While she saw that +he was deeply hurt and disappointed, his slightly cold and silent +brow was a different expression of his feeling from what she desired. +She wanted to take the ride, and might have been persuaded into +going, in spite of her purpose to keep aloof, and she was vexed +with him that he did not urge her as De Forrest would have done. + +Therefore the spoiled and capricious beauty went up to her room +more "out of sorts" than ever, and sulkily resolved that she would +not appear till dinner. + +In the mean time Hemstead went to his aunt and informed her that +he would take the morning train for New York, and would not return +till the following evening. + +"Very well, Frank," she replied; "act your pleasure. Come and go +as you like." + +The good lady was entertaining her nephew more from a sense of +duty than anything else. From their difference in tastes he added +little to her enjoyment, and was sometimes a source of discomfort; +and so would not be missed. + +Lottie had a desperately long and dismal time of it. Either the +book she tried to read was stupid, or there was something wrong +with her. At last she impatiently sent it flying across the room, +and went to the window. The beautiful winter morning exasperated +her still more. + +"Suppose he had talked religion to me," she thought, "he at least +makes it interesting, and anything would have been better than moping +here. What a fool I was, not to go! What a fool I am, anyway! He is +the only one I ever did act towards as a woman might and ought,--even +in jest. He is the only one that ever made me wish I were a true +woman, instead of a vain flirt; and the best thing my wisdom could +devise, after I found out his beneficent power, was to give him a +slap in the face, and shut myself up with a stupid novel. 'Capable +of noble things!' I imagine he has changed his mind this morning. + +"Well, what if he has? A plague upon him! I wish he had never come, +or I had stayed in New York. I foresee that I am going to have an +awfully stupid time here in the country." + +Thus she irritably chafed through the long hours. She would not +go downstairs as she wished to, because she had resolved that she +would not. But she half purposed to try and bring about the visit +to Mrs. Dlimm in the afternoon, if possible, and would now go +willingly, if asked. + +At the first welcome sound of the dinner-bell she sped downstairs, +and glanced into the parlor, hoping that he might be there, and +that in some way she might still bring about the ride. But she +found only De Forrest yawning over a newspaper, and had to endure +his sentimental reproaches that she had absented herself so long +from him. + +"Come to dinner," was her only and rather prosaic response. + +But De Forrest went cheerfully, for dinner was something that he +could enjoy under any circumstances. + +To Lottie's disappointment, Mr. Dimmerly mumbled grace, and still +Hemstead did not appear. For some reason she did not like to ask +where he was, and was provoked at herself because of her hesitancy. +The others, who knew of his departure, supposed she was aware of +it also. At last her curiosity gained the mastery, and she asked +her aunt with an indifference, not so well assumed but that her +color heightened a little, "Where is Mr. Hemstead?" + +"He went down to the city," replied Mrs. Marchmont, carelessly. + +The impulsive girl's face showed her disappointment and vexation, +but she saw that quick-eyed Bel was watching her. She wished her +friend back in New York; and, with partial success, sought to appear +as usual. + +"O dear!" she thought; "what shall I do with myself this afternoon? +I can't endure Julian's mooning. I wish Mr. Harcourt was here, so +we could get up some excitement." + +Without excitement Lottie was as dull and wretched as all victims +of stimulants, left to their own resources. + +But the fates were against her. Harcourt would not be back till +evening, and she did not know when Hemstead would return. Addie and +Bel vanished after dinner, and De Forrest offered to read to her. +She assented, having no better prospect. + +She ensconced herself luxuriously under an afghan upon the sofa, +while the persistent lover, feeling that this would be his favored +opportunity, determined to lay close siege to her heart, and win a +definite promise, if possible. For this purpose he chose a romantic +poem, which, at a certain point, had a very tender and love-infused +character. Here he purposed to throw down the book in a melodramatic +manner, and pass from the abstract to reality, and from the third +person to the first. He was more familiar with stage effects than +anything else, and had planned a pretty little scene. As Lottie +reclined upon the sofa, he could very nicely and comfortably kneel, +take her hand, and gracefully explain the condition of his heart; +and she was certainly in a comfortable position to hear. + +A man less vain than De Forrest would not have gathered much +encouragement from Lottie's face, for it had a very weary and bored +expression as he commenced the rather stilted and very sentimental +introduction to the "gush" that was to follow. + +She divined his purpose as she saw him summoning to his aid all +his rather limited elocutionary powers, and noted how he gave to +every line that verged toward love the tenderest accent. + +But the satirical side-gleam from her eyes, as she watched him, was +anything but responsive or conducive to sentiment; and finally, as +she became satisfied of his object, the smile that flitted across +her face would have quenched the most impetuous declaration as +effectually as a mill-pond might quench a meteor. + +But Julian, oblivious of all this, was growing pathetic and emotional; +and if she escaped the scene at all, she must act promptly. + +She did so, for in five minutes, to all appearance, she was asleep. + +At first, when he glanced up to emphasize a peculiarly touching +line, he thought she had closed her eyes to hide her feelings; but +at last, when he reached the particular and soul-melting climax +that was to prepare the way for his own long-desired crisis, having +given the final lines in a tone that he thought would move a marble +heart, he laid the book down to prepare for action, and the dreadful +truth dawned upon him. She was asleep! + +What could he do? To awaken her, and then go forward, would not +answer. People were generally cross when disturbed in their sleep; +and he knew Lottie was no exception. He was deeply mortified and +disappointed. + +He got up and stalked tragically and frowningly to the hearth-rug, +and stared at the apparently peaceful sleeper, and then flung +himself out of the room, very much as he was accustomed to when a +spoiled and petulant boy. + +After he was gone, Lottie quivered with laughter for a few moments; +then stole away to her room, where she blotted out the weary hour +with sleep unfeigned, until aroused by the supper-bell. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +LOTTIE A MYSTERIOUS PROBLEM. + + + + + +After a brief toilet, Lottie came down to tea looking like an +innocent little lamb that any wolf could beguile and devour. She +smiled on De Forrest so sweetly that the cloud began to pass from +his brow at once. + +"Why should I be angry with her?" he thought, "she did not understand +what I was aiming at, and probably supposed that I meant to read +her asleep, and yet I should have thought that the tones of my +voice--Well, well, Lottie has been a little spoiled by too much +devotion. She has become accustomed to it, and takes it as a matter +of course. When we are married, the devotion must be on the other +side of the house." + +"I thought Mr. Hemstead would be back this evening?" she said to +her aunt. + +"No, not till to-morrow evening. You seem to miss Frank very much." + +Then Lottie was provoked to find herself blushing like a school-girl, +but she said, laughingly, "How penetrating you are, auntie. I do +miss him, in a way you cannot understand." + +But the others understood the remark as referring to her regret +that he had escaped from her wiles as the victim of their proposed +jest, and Bel shot a reproachful glance at her. She could not know +that Lottie had said this to throw dust into their eyes, and to +account for her sudden blush, which she could not account for to +herself. + +Before supper was over, Harcourt came in with great news, which threw +Addie into a state of feverish excitement, and greatly interested +all the others. + +"Mrs. Byram, her son, and two daughters, have come up for a few days +to take a peep at the country in winter, and enjoy some sleigh-riding. +I met Hal Byram, and drove in with him. Their large house is open +from top to bottom, and full of servants, and to-morrow evening +they are going to give a grand party. There are invitations for +you all. They expect most of their guests from New York, however." + +Even languid Bel brightened at the prospect of so much gayety; and +thoughts of Hemstead and qualms of conscience vanished for the +time from Lottie's mind. The evening soon passed, with cards and +conjectures as to who would be there, and the day following, with +the bustle of preparation. + +"I don't believe Frank will go to such a party," said Addie, as +the three girls and De Forrest were together in the afternoon. + +"Let us make him go by all means," said Lottie. "He needn't know +what kind of a party it is, and it will be such fun to watch him. +I should not be surprised if he and Mrs. Byram mutually shocked +each other. We can say merely that we have all been invited out to +a little company, and that it would be rude in him not to accompany +us." + +Mrs. Marchmont was asked not to say anything to undeceive Hemstead. + +"It will do him good to see a little of the world," said Lottie; +and the lady thought so too. + +The others were under the impression that Lottie still purposed +carrying out her practical joke against Hemstead. At the time +when he had saved them from so much danger the evening before, they +felt that their plot ought to be abandoned, and, as it was, they +had mainly lost their relish for it. Hemstead had not proved so +good a subject for a practical joke as they had expected. But they +felt that if Lottie chose to carry it on, that was her affair, and +if there were any fun in prospect, they would be on hand to enjoy +it. The emotions and virtuous impulses inspired by their moment +of peril had faded almost utterly away, as is usually the case +with this style of repentance. Even Bel was growing indifferent +to Lottie's course. Harcourt, who with all his faults had good and +generous traits, was absent on business, and had partially forgotten +the design against Hemstead, and supposed that anything definite +had been given up on account of the service rendered to them all. + +Lottie was drifting. She did not know what would be her action. +The child of impulse, the slave of inclination, with no higher aim +than to enjoy the passing hour, she could not keep a good resolve, +if through some twinges of conscience she made one. She had proposed +to avoid Hemstead, for, while he interested, he also disquieted +her and filled her with self-dissatisfaction. + +And yet for this very reason he was fascinating. Other men admired +and flattered her, bowing to her in unvarying and indiscriminating +homage. Hemstead not only admired but respected her for the +good qualities that she had simulated, and with equal sincerity +recognized faults and failures. She had been admired all her life, +but respect from a true, good man was a new offering, and, even +though obtained by fraud, was as delightful as it was novel. She +still wished to stand well in his estimation, though why she hardly +knew. She was now greatly vexed with herself that she had refused +to visit Mrs. Dlimm. She was most anxious that he should return, +in order that she might discover whether he had become disgusted +with her; for, in the knowledge of her own wrong action, she +unconsciously gave him credit for knowing more about her than he +did. + +She had no definite purpose for the future. Instead of coolly +carrying out a deliberate plot, she was merely permitting herself +to be carried along by a subtle undercurrent of interest and +inclination, which she did not understand, or trouble herself to +analyze. She had felt a passing interest in gentlemen before, which +had proved but passing. This was no doubt a similar case, with +some peculiar and piquant elements added. A few weeks in New York +after her visit was over, and he would fade from memory, and pass +below the horizon like other stars that had dazzled for a time. +The honest old counsellor, conscience, recklessly snubbed and +dismissed, had retired, with a few plain words, for the time, from +the unequal contest. + +She met Hemstead at the door on his return, and held out her hand, +saying cordially, "I'm ever so glad to see you. It seems an age +since you left us." + +His face flushed deeply with pleasure at her words and manner. +Expecting an indifferent reception, he had purposed to be dignified +and reserved himself. And yet her manner on the morning of his +departure had pained him deeply, and disappointed him. It had not +fulfilled the promise of the previous day, and he had again been +sorely perplexed. But his conclusion was partly correct. + +"She is resisting the truth. She sees what changes in her gay life +are involved by its acceptance; and therefore shuns coming under +its influence." + +What a strange power God has bestowed upon us! There is some one +that we long to influence and change for the better. That one may +know our wish and purpose, recognize our efforts, but quietly baffle +us by an independent will that we can no more coerce and control +than by our breath soften into spring warmth a wintry morning. We +can look pleadingly into some dear one's eyes, clasp his hands and +appeal with even tearful earnestness, and yet he may remain unmoved, +or be but transiently affected. Though by touch or caress, by +convincing arguments and loving entreaty, we may be unable to shake +the obdurate will, we can gently master it through the intervention +of another. The throne of God seems a long way round to reach +the friend at our side,--for the mother to reach her child in her +arms,--but it usually proves the quickest and most effectual way. +Where before were only resistance and indifference, there come, +in answer to prayer, strange telentings, mysterious longings, +receptivity, and sometimes, in a way that is astonishing, full +acceptance of the truth. + +"The wind bloweth where it listeth," were the words of the all-powerful +One, of the beautiful emblem of His own mysterious and transforming +presence. + +Again He said, "How much more shall your Heavenly Father give the +Holy Spirit to them that ask him." + +Here is a power, a force, an agency, that the materialist cannot +calculate, weigh, or measure, or laugh scornfully out of existence. + +As upon a sultry night a breeze comes rustling through the leaves +from unknown realms of space, and cools our throbbing temples, so +the soul is often stirred and moved by impulses heavenward that +are to their subjects as mysterious as unexpected. + +To a certain extent, God gives to the prayerful control of Himself, +as it were, and becomes their willing agent; and when all mysteries +shall be solved, and the record of all lives be truthfully revealed, +it will probably be seen that not those who astonished the world +with their own powers, but those who quietly, through prayer, used +God's power, were the ones who made the world move forward. + +While Hemstead would never be a Mystic or a Quietest in his faith, +he still recognized most clearly that human effort would go but +little way in awakening spiritual life, unless seconded by the +Divine power. Therefore in his strong and growing wish that he +might bring the beautiful girl, who seemed like a revelation to +him, into sympathy with the truth that he believed and loved, he +had based no hope on what he alone could do or say. + +But her manner on the previous morning had chilled him, and he had +half purposed to be a little distant and indifferent also. + +It did not occur to him that he was growing sensitive in regard to +her treatment of himself, as well as of the truth. + +He readily assented to Lottie's request that he should accept Mrs. +Byram's invitation, and found a strange pleasure in her graciousness +and vivacity at the supper-table. + +His simple toilet was soon made, and he sought the parlor and a +book to pass the time while waiting for the Others. Lottie was a +veteran at the dressing-table, and by dint of exacting much help +from Bel, and resting content with nature's bountiful gifts,--that +needed but little enhancing from art,--she, too, was ready considerably +in advance of the others, and, in the full UNdress which society +permits, thought to dazzle the plain Western student, as a preliminary +to other conquests during the evening. + +And he was both dazzled and startled as she suddenly stood before +him under the chandelier in all the wealth of her radiant beauty. + +Her hair was arranged in a style peculiarly her own, and powdered. A +necklace of pearls sustained a diamond cross that was ablaze with +light upon her white bosom. Her arms were bare, and her dress +cut as low as fashion would sanction. In momentary triumph she saw +his eye kindle into almost wondering admiration; and yet it was +but momentary, for almost instantly his face began to darken with +disapproval. + +She at once surmised the cause; and at first it amused her very +much, as she regarded it as an evidence of his delightful ignorance +of society and ministerial prudishness. + +"I gather from your face, Mr. Hemstead, that I am not dressed to +suit your fastidious taste." + +"I think you are incurring a great risk in so exposing yourself +this cold night, Miss Marsden." + +"That is not all your thought, Mr. Hemstead." + +"You are right," he said gravely, and with heightened color. + +"But it's the style; and fashion, you know, is a despot with us +ladies." + +"And, like all despots, very unreasonable; and wrong at times, I +perceive." + +"When you have seen more of society, Mr. Hemstead," she said, a +little patronizingly, "you will modify your views. Ideas imported +in the Mayflower are scarcely in vogue now." + +He was a little nettled by her tone, and said with a tinge of dignity, +"My ideas on this subject were not imported in the Mayflower. They +are older than the world, and will survive the world." + +Lottie became provoked, for she was not one to take criticism of +her personal appearance kindly, and then it was vexatious that the +one whom she chiefly expected to dazzle should at once begin to +find fault; and she said with some irritation, "And what are your +long-lived ideas." + +"I fear they would not have much weight with you were I able to +express them plainly. I can only suggest them, but in such a way +that you can understand me in a sentence. I should not like a sister +of mine to appear in company as you are dressed." + +Lottie flushed deeply and resentfully, but said, in a frigid tone, +"I think we had better change the subject I consider myself a better +judge of these matters than you are." + +He quietly bowed and resumed his book. She shot an angry glance at +him and left the room. + +This was a new experience to her,--the very reverse of what she had +anticipated. This was a harsh and discordant break in the honeyed +strains of flattery to which she had always been accustomed, and +it nettled her greatly. Moreover, the criticism she received had +a delicate point, and touched her to the very quick; and to her it +seemed unjust and uncalled for. What undoubtedly is wrong in itself, +and what to Hemstead, unfamiliar with society and its arbitrary +customs, seemed strangely indelicate, was to her but a prevailing +mode among the ultra-fashionable, in which class it was her ambition +to shine. + +"The great, verdant boor!" she said in her anger, as she paced +restlessly up and down the hall. "What a fool I am to care what he +thinks, with his backwoods ideas! Nor shall I any more. He shall +learn to-night that I belong to a different world." + +De Forrest joined her soon and somewhat re-assured her by his +profuse compliments. Not that she valued them as coming from him, +but she felt that he as a society man was giving the verdict of +society in distinction from Hemstead's outlandish ideas. She had +learned from her mother--indeed it was the faith of her childhood, +earliest taught and thoroughly accepted--that the dictum of their +wealthy circle was final authority, from which there was no appeal. + +Hemstead suffered in her estimation. She tried to think of him as +uncouth, ill-bred, and so ignorant of fashionable life--which to +her was the only life worth naming--that she could dismiss him from +her mind from that, time forth. And in her resentment she thought +she could and would. She was very gracious to De Forrest, and he +in consequence was in superb spirits. + +As they gathered in the parlor, before starting, De Forrest looked +Hemstead over critically, and then turned to Lottie and raised his +eye-brows significantly. The answering smile was in harmony with +the exquisite's implied satire. Lottie gave the student another +quick look and saw that he had observed their meaning glances, and +that in consequence his lip had curled slightly; and she flushed +again, partly with anger and vexation. + +"Why should his adverse opinion so nettle me? He is nobody," she +thought, as she turned coldly away. + +Though Hemstead's manner was quiet and distant, he was conscious +of a strange and unaccountable disappointment and sadness. It was +as if a beautiful picture were becoming blurred before his eyes. +It was more than that,--more than he understood. He had a sense of +personal loss. + +He saw and sincerely regretted his cousin Addie's faults; but when +Lottie failed in any respect in fulfilling the fair promise of +their first acquaintance, there was something more than regret. + +At first he thought he would remain at home, and not expose himself +to their criticism and possible ridicule; but a. moment later +determined to go and, if possible, thoroughly solve the mystery of +Lottie Marsden's character; for she was more of a mystery now than +ever. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +HEMSTEAD SEES "OUR SET." + + + + + +They soon reached Mrs. Byram's elegant country which gleamed afar, +ablaze with light. The obsequious footman threw open the door, +and they entered a tropical atmosphere laden with the perfumes of +exotics. Already the music was striking up for the chief feature +of the evening. Bel reluctantly accepted of Hemstead's escort, as +sh; had no other resource. + +"He will be so awkward!" she had said to Lottie, in irritable +protest. + +And at first she was quite right, for Hemstead found himself +anything but at home in the fashionable revel. Bel, in her efforts +to get him into the presence of the lady of the house, that they +might pay their respects, reminded one of a little steam yacht +trying to manage a ship of the line. + +Not only were Lottie and De Forrest smiling at the scene, but also +other elegant people, among whom Hemstead towered in proportions +too vast and ill-managed to escape notice; and to Addie her cousin's +lack of ease and grace was worse than a crime. + +Bel soon found some city acquaintances, and she and her escort +parted with mutual relief. Hemstead drifted into the hall, where +he would be out of the way of the dancers, but through the open +doors could watch the scene. + +And this he did with a curious and observant eye. The party he came +with expected him to be either dazzled and quite carried away by +the scenes of the evening, or else shocked and very solemn over +their dissipation. But he was rather inclined to be philosophical, +and to study this new phase of life. He would see the creme tie la +cremet who only would be present, as he was given to understand. +He would discover if they were made of different clay from the +people of Scrub Oaks. He would breathe the social atmosphere which +to Addie, to his aunt, and even to Lottie, he was compelled to +fear was as the breath of life. These were the side issues; but +his chief purpose was to study Lottie herself. He would discover +if she were in truth as good a girl--as full of promise--as he had +been led to believe at first. + +Of course he was a predestined "wall-flower" upon such an occasion. +Addie had said to Mrs. Byram, in a tone hard to describe but at +once understood, "A cousin from the West, who is studying for the +ministry"; and Hemstead was immediately classed in the lady's mind +among those poor relations who must be tolerated for the sake of +their connections. + +He was a stranger to all, save those he came with, and they soon +completely ignored and forgot him, except Lottie, by whom he was +watched, but so furtively that she seemed as neglectful as the +rest. + +It was one of the fashions of the hour--a phase of etiquette as +ill-bred as the poorest social slang--not to introduce strangers. +Mrs. Byram and her daughters were nothing if not fashionable, and +in this case the mode served their inclination, and beyond a few +formal words they willingly left their awkward guest to his own +resources. + +He could not understand how true courtesy permitted a hostess to +neglect any of her guests, least of all those who from diffidence +or any cause seemed most in need of attention. Still, in the +present instance, he was glad to be left alone. + +The scenes around him had more than the interest of novelty, and +there was much that he enjoyed keenly. The music was good, and +his quick ear kept as perfect time to it as did Lottie's feet. He +thought the square dances were beautiful and perfectly unobjectionable,--a +vast improvement on many of the rude and often stupid games that +he had seen at the few companies he had attended, and Lottie appeared +the embodiment of grace, as she glided through them. + +But when a blast-looking fellow, in whose eye lurked all evil +passions and appetites, whirled her away in a waltz, he again +felt, with indignation, that here was another instance in which +fashion--custom--insolently trampled on divine law and womanly +modesty. He had seen enough of the world to know that Lottie, with +all her faults, was too good to touch the fellow whose embrace she +permitted. Could she--could the others-be ignorant of his character, +when it was indelibly stamped upon his face? + +But Hemstead soon noticed that this man's attentions were everywhere +received with marked pleasure, and that Mrs. Byram and her daughters +made much of him as 8 favored guest. In anger he saw how sweetly +Lottie smiled upon him as they were passing near. She caught his +dark look, and, interpreting it to mean something like jealousy, +became more gracious toward her roue-looking attendant, with the +purpose of piquing Hemstead. + +A little later Bel came into the hall, leaning upon the arm of a +gentleman. Having requested her escort to get her a glass of water +she was left alone a few moments. Hemstead immediately joined +her and asked, "Who is that blase-looking man upon whose arm Miss +Marsden is leaning?" + +"And upon whom she is also smiling so enchantingly? He is the beau +of the occasion, and she is the belle." + +"Do you know anything about him? I hope his face and manner do him +injustice." + +"I fear they do not. I imagine he is even worse than he looks." + +"How, then, can he be such a favorite?" + +She gave him a quick, comical look, which intimated, "You are from +the back country," but said, "I fear you will think less of society +when I tell you the reasons. I admit that it is very wrong; but +so it is. He has three great attractions: he is brilliant; he is +fast; he is immensely rich,--therefore society is at his feet." + +"O, no; not society, but a certain clique who weigh things in false +balances," said Hemstead, quickly. "How strange it is that people +are ever mistaking their small circle for the world!" + +Bel gave him a look of some surprise, and thought, "I half believe +he is looking down upon us with better right than we upon him." + +After a moment Hemstead added, "That man there is more than fast. +I should imagine that Harcourt was a little fast, and yet he has +good and noble traits. I could trust him. But treachery is stamped +upon that fellow's face, and the leer of a devil gleams from his +eye. He is not only fast, he is bad. Does Miss Marsden know his +character?" + +"She knows what we all do. There are hard stories about him, and, +as you say, he does not look saintly; but however wrong it may be, +Mr. Hemstead, it is still a fact that society will wink at almost +everything when a man is as rich and well connected as he, that +is, as long as a man sins in certain conventional ways and keeps +his name out of the papers." + +Here her escort joined her, and they passed on; and Hemstead stood +lowering at the man, the pitch of whose character began to stain +the beautiful girl who, knowing him somewhat, could willingly and +encouragingly remain at his side. + +True, he had seen abundant proof that she had a heart, good impulses, +and was capable of noble things, as he had told her; but was she +not also giving 'lira equal proof that the world enthralled her +heart, and that senseless and soulless fashion, rather than the +will of God, or the instincts of a pure womanly nature, controlled +her will? + +He had no small vanity in which to wrap himself while he nursed +a spiteful resentment at slights to himself. It was a tendency of +his nature, and a necessity of his calling, that he should forget +himself for the sake of others. Lottie awoke his sympathy, and he +pitied while he blamed. + +But he desponded as to the future, and feared that she would never +fulfil her first beautiful promise. He realized, with a vague sense +of pain, how far apart they were, and in what different worlds they +dwelt. At one time it had seemed as if they might become friends, +and be in accord on the chief questions of life. But now that she +was smiling so approvingly upon a man whose very face proclaimed +him villain, he saw a separation wider and more inexorable than +Hindu caste,--that of character. + +And yet with his intense love of beauty it seemed like sacrilege--the +profanation of a beautiful temple--that such a girl as Charlotte +Marsden should permit the associations of that evening. It was true +that he could find no greater fault with her in respect to dress, +manners, and attendants, than with many others,--not as much as +with his own cousin. But for some reason that did not occur to him +it was peculiarly a source of regret that Lottie should so fall +short of what he believed true and right. + +His thoughts gave expression to his face, as in momentary abstraction +he paced up and down the hall. Suddenly a voice that had grown +strangely familiar in the brief time he had heard it said at his +side, "Why, Mr. Hemstead, you look as if at a funeral. What are +you thinking of?" + +Following an impulse of his open nature, he looked directly into +Lottie's face, and replied, "You." + +She blushed slight'y, but said with a laugh, "That is frank," but +added, meaningly, "I am surprised you cannot find anything better +to think about." + +"I think Mr. Hemstead shows excellent judgment," said Mr. Brently, +the young man whose face had seemed the index of all evil. "Where +could he find anything better to think about?" + +"Mr. Hemstead's compliments and yours are very different affairs. +He means all he says. Mr. Hemstead, permit i ne to introduce to +you Mr. Brently of New York. I wish you could induce him to be a +missionary." + +The young rake laughed so heartily at this idea that he did not +notice that Hemstead's acknowledgment was frigidly slight; but +Lottie did. + +"How absurdly jealous!" she thought; yet it pleased her that he +was. + +"I shall never be good enough to eat, and so cannot be persuaded +to visit the Cannibal Islands in the role of missionary." Brently +was too pleased with his own poor wit, and too indifferent to +Hemstead, to note that the student did not even look at him. + +"I expect that you will lecture me well for all my folly and +wickedness to-morrow," said Lottie, with a laugh. + +"You are mistaken, Miss Marsden," Hemstead answered coldly. "I have +neither the right nor the wish to 'lecture' you"; and he turned +away, while she passed on with an unquiet, uncomfortable feeling, +quite unlike her usual careless disregard of the opinions of +others. + +At that moment a gentleman and lady brushed past them on their way +to the drawing-rooms, and he heard Lottie whisper, "There are Mr. +and Miss Martell after all. I feared they were not coming." + +A moment later he saw a tall and beautiful girl enter the parlors +upon the arm of a gentleman who was evidently her father. Mrs. +Byram received them with the utmost deference, and was profuse in +her expressions of pleasure that they had not failed to be present. +Having explained their detention, they moved on through the rooms, +receiving the cordial greetings of many who knew them, and much +attention from all. They were evidently people of distinction, +and from the first Hemstead had been favorably impressed with their +appearance and bearing. + +From the gentleman's erect and vigorous form it would seem that +his hair was prematurely gray. His face indicated intellect and +high-breeding, while the deep-set and thoughtful eyes, and the +firm lines around his mouth, suggested a man of decided opinions. + +The daughter was quite as beautiful as Lottie, only her style was +entirely different. She was tall and willowy in form, while Lottie +was of medium height. Miss Martell was very fair, and her large +blue eyes seemed a trifle cold and expressionless as they rested +on surrounding faces and scenes. One would hardly suppose that +her pulse was quickened by the gayety and excitement, and it might +even be suspected that she was not in sympathy with either the +people or their spirit. + +And yet all this would only be apparent to a close observer, for +to the majority she was the embodiment of grace and courtesy, and +as the Lanciers were called soon after her arrival, she permitted +Harcourt to lead her out as his partner. They took their stations +near the door where Hemstead was standing at the moment. Lottie and +Mr. Brently stood at the head of the parlor; and Hemstead thought +he had never seen two women more unlike, and yet so beautiful. + +While he in his isolation and abstraction was observing them and +others in much the same spirit with which he was accustomed to +haunt art galleries, Harcourt, seeing him so near, unexpectedly +introduced him to Miss Martell, saying good-naturedly: "You have +one topic of mutual interest to talk about, and a rather odd one +for a clergyman and a young lady, and that is--horses. Miss Martell +is one of the best horsewomen of this region, and you, Mr. Hemstead, +managed a span that were beyond me,--saved my neck at the same +time, in all probability." + +The young lady at first was simply polite, and greeted him as she +naturally would a stranger casually introduced. But from something +either in Harcourt's words, or in Hemstead's appearance as she +gave him closer scrutiny, her eye kindled into interest, and she was +about to speak to him, when the music called her into the graceful +maze of the dance. Hemstead was as much surprised as if a portrait +on the wall had stepped down and made his acquaintance, and in his +embarrassment and confusion was glad that the lady was summoned +away, and he given time to recover himself. + +Lottie had noted the introduction, and from her distance it had +seemed that Miss Martell had treated him slightingly, and that she +had not spoken, but had merely recognized him by a slight inclination; +so, acting upon one of her generous impulses, the moment the first +form was over and there was a brief respite, she went to where he +stood near Miss Martell, and said kindly, but a little patronizingly, +"I'm sorry you do not dance, Mr. Hemstead. You must be having a +stupid time." + +He recognized her kindly spirit, and said, with a smile, "A quiet +time, but not a stupid one. As you can understand, this scene is +a quite novel one to me,--a glimpse into a new and different world." + +"And one that you do not approve of, I fear." + +"It has its lights and shadows." + +Lottie now turned to speak to Miss Martell, and evil-eyed Brently, +her partner, had also been standing near, waiting till Harcourt +should cease to occupy her attention so closely. + +The young lady was polite, but not cordial, to Lottie; she did not +vouchsafe a glance to Brently. But he was not easily abashed. + +"Miss Martell," he said suavely, "will you honor me for the next +waltz?" + +"You must excuse me, sir," she said coldly. + +"Well, then, some time during the evening, at your own pleasure," +he urged. + +"You must excuse me, sir," she repeated still more frigidly, scarcely +glancing at him. + +"What do you mean?" he asked insolently, at the same time flushing +deeply. + +She gave him a cold, quiet look of surprise, and, turning her back +upon him, resumed conversation with Harcourt. Lottie was a little +indignant and perplexed at this scene; but noted, with a feeling +of disgust, that her partner's face, in his anger, had the look of +a demon. + +But her own reception had been too cool to be agreeable, and this, +with the supposed slight to Hemstead, caused Miss Martell to seem +to her, for the time, the embodiment of capricious pride. + +Harcourt said, "Brently does not seem to be in your good graces, Miss +Martell; and that is strange, for he is the lion of the evening." + +"I can well imagine that he belongs to the cat species," she replied. +"I have no personal grievance against Mr. Brently, but I do not +consider him a gentleman. My father knows that he is not one, and +that is enough for me." + +Harcourt flushed with both pleasure and shame; and as the next +form just then required that he should take his companion's hand, +he did so with a cordial pressure, as he said, "Men would be +better--I should be better--if all young ladies showed your spirit, +Miss Martell." + +At the next pause in the dance she said, in a low tone, "Come, let +us have no 'ifs.' Be better anyway." + +She detected the dejection which he tried to mask with a light laugh, +as he replied, "I often wish I were, but the world, the flesh, and +the devil are too much for me."' + +"Yes, and always will be for you. Who can fight such enemies alone? +Besides, you are reading and thinking in the wrong direction. You +are going out into the desert." + +"Well, it's kind of you to care," he said, with a look that deepened +the faint color of her cheeks. + +"I am not inhuman," she replied quietly. "Is it a little thing that +a mind should go astray?" + +He looked at her earnestly, but made no reply. + +Soon after, Lottie saw with surprise, during one of the intervals +between the forms, that Miss Martell turned and spoke freely +and cordially to Hemstead. Her surprise became something akin to +annoyance, as, at the close, she took his arm and began to walk up +and down the wide hall, evidently becoming deeply interested in his +conversation. She soon shook off moody Brently, who could think of +nothing but the slight he had received, and, taking De Forrest's +arm, also commenced promenading in the hall. She noted, with +satisfaction, that Hemstead was not so occupied with his new and +fascinating acquaintance as to be oblivious of her presence. + +Soon after Mr. Martell joined his daughter, and was introduced to +Hemstead; and they went out to supper together. + +Lottie managed that she and De Forrest should find seats near them +in a roomy angle, where, being out of the crush, Mr. Martell and +his little party could season Mrs. Byram's sumptuous viands with +Attic salt. And the flavor of their wit and thought was so attractive +that they soon had a group of the most intelligent and cultivated +of the company around them, and Lottie saw that Hemstead, who +had been neglected by his own party, was becoming appreciated by +the best people present. Miss Martell, with the tact of a perfect +lady, had the power of putting him at his ease and drawing him out. +Hemstead's mind was no stagnant, muddy pool, but a living fountain, +and his thought sparkled as it flowed readily on the congenial topics +that Mr. and Miss Martell introduced. The freshness and originality +of his views seemed to interest them and others greatly; but what +pleased him most was that Lottie, who sat near, was neglecting +her supper and De Forrest's compliments in her attention to the +conversation. Her face showed a quick, discriminating mind, and as +the discussion grew a little warm on a topic of general interest, +he saw from her eager and intelligent face that she had an opinion, +and he had the tact to ask her for it just at the right moment. +Though a little embarrassed at his unexpected question, she expressed +her thought so briefly and brightly that the others were pleased, +and she was at once taken into the circle of their talk, which of +course became more animated and spicy with her piquant words and +manner added. It was evident that she was enjoying this employment +of her brain more than she had that of her feet. The lower pleasure +paled before the higher; and she was grateful to Hemstead for having +drawn her within the charmed circle. + +De Forrest did not grieve over Lottie's absorption, as it gave him +more time for the supper-table and champagne; and to the latter he +and a good many others were so devoted that they were hardly their +poor selves the rest of the evening. In Brently's case it was most +marked after the ladies had retired. He began to talk quite loudly +and boisterously of his slight, and at one time was about to seek +Miss Martell, and demand an explanation, but was prevailed upon by +his friends to be quiet. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +HOW WOMAN MAKES OR MARS. + + + + + +In the changes that occurred after leaving the supper-room, Miss +Martell took Harcourt's arm and said in a low tone, "I was glad to +see that you did not take any wine." + +"And I am glad you cared to see. But how could I, after your +gentle hint? I know my weakness. If I had indulged in one glass I +might have taken too many, as I am sorry has been the case in more +instances than one to-night." + +"You admit, then, that it is a weakness?" she said gently fixing +her eyes, that were no longer cold and expressionless, upon him. + +"In truth, I must admit that I have many weaknesses, Miss Martell." + +"You certainly possess one element of strength, in that you recognize +them. Knowledge of danger is often the best means of safety. But +how is it that you are so ready to acknowledge weakness of any kind? +I thought that men scoffed at the idea that they could be weak or +in danger from any temptation." + +"If they do, they either do not know themselves, or they are not +honest. I do know myself, to my sorrow, and it would seem like +sacrilege to me not to be truthful and sincere with you. And yet +it is when I am with you that I most despise myself." + +"How, then, can you endure my presence?" she asked, with a shy, +half-mischievous glance. + +He flushed slightly, and tried to disguise a deeper meaning with +a slight laugh, as he said, "If I were shut out of Eden, I should +often be tempted to look over the hedge." + +She did not reply at once, nor lift her eyes to his, but the color +deepened upon her cheeks; and if he had seen the expression of her +averted face, his might have appeared more hopeful. + +After a moment she turned and said, with a smile, "I think the fact +that you would like to look over the hedge a very promising sign. +It proves that you regret our lost Eden purity, and would like to +possess it again. If you will only let your wishes develop into +right action, instead of looking wistfully over the hedge, you may +be welcomed within the gate of the better Paradise." + +He looked at her searchingly, but she again turned away her face, +and would not meet his eye. After a moment, he said, "I do not +think you used the pronoun 'our,' correctly. There is nothing akin +between my moral state and yours." + +"Yes, there is," she replied earnestly. "If you struggle as hard +to do right as I do, you are trying very hard indeed." + +With a quick glance of surprise he said, "It has ever seemed to me +that you were developing as naturally and inevitably as a moss-rose." + +"Nonsense!" she answered, a little abruptly. "I am as human as +you are. I have doubtless had advantages over you in being more +sheltered and less tempted. But in a world like ours, and with +natures like ours, every one must struggle hard who would live a +good life. Even then we need Divine help." + +They had now passed into a large conservatory, where they supposed +they were alone. He took her hand and said, with a manly sincerity +that made his face almost as noble as hers was beautiful: "Miss +Martell, you are holier than I am. You are as much above me as +heaven is above the earth. And yet, because you have not said to +me, 'Stand aside, for I am holier than thou'; because you have made +a claim, which I can scarcely understand, of kindred weakness,--of +like need of effort to do right,--you have given me a little hope +that possibly at some distant day I may find a way out of my doubts +and weaknesses. I should like to be a true and believing man." + +"Please do not think that I have it in my heart to say 'Stand aside' +to any one. Such a spirit is most unchristian, and in me would be +most unwarranted. Do not think I meant that when I repulsed Mr. +Brently. He has forfeited every right to the title of gentleman. +I believe he is utterly bad, and he shows no wish to be otherwise; +and I was disgusted by the flattering attentions he received from +those with whom he had no right to associate at all. When will +society get beyond its vulgar worship of wealth! But, Mr. Harcourt, +please don't talk about a 'possible way out of your doubts and +weaknesses at some distant day.' You paid me the highest compliment +in your power, when you refrained from wine at supper to-night. I +am going to ask a personal favor. Won't you let it alone altogether? +Mr. Harcourt," she added, her eyes filling with tears, "I cannot +bear to think of a nature like yours becoming a slave to such an +appetite, and it does seem to master those who are naturally the +noblest." + +He turned away to hide his own feeling, while she, with clasped +hands, stood looking at him, as his good angel might. When he turned +to her, he spoke calmly, and almost humbly: "I will not protest +too much, Miss Martell. I will make no loud and absolute promises, +but it seems to me, while I stand here in your presence, I could +not do a mean or ignoble thing again. But in that degree that I +revere you, I distrust myself. But I pledge you my honor, that I +will try to do what you ask, and more." + +"You give me just the kind of promise I like best," she said, giving +him her hand with a happy smile. "But I can not tell you how much +I wish you could seek God's help, as simply, as believingly, as I +do." + +"Ah, there is the trouble," he replied, in deep dejection. "My mind +is tossed upon a sea of doubt and uncertainty." Then, as from a +sudden impulse, he said, "But I could worship you. You are the most +beautiful woman here tonight, but instead of making your beauty the +slave of contemptible vanity, and employing it, like Miss Marsden +and others, merely to win flattery and attention, you turn from +all, and forget yourself and your own pleasure, that you may keep +a man that is hardly worth saving from going to the devil. If I +go, after your kindness to-night, it will be because I ought." + +Here her father called her from the door. The character of the +entertainment was becoming such that he was anxious to get away. +As they left the conservatory, she said in a low, hasty tone, "I +am not so unselfish as you think; for it would make me very unhappy +if you did not become what you are capable of being." + +"Since you care personally what becomes of me, you have given me +a double incentive," he answered eagerly, as they passed out. + +As they disappeared, Lottie Marsden stepped out from behind a large +lemon-tree, with an expression upon her face quite as acid as the +unripe fruit that had helped to conceal her. How she came to witness +the scene described requires some explanation. As they left the +supper-room, she shook De Forrest off for a time, and when Miss +Martell parted from Hemstead, she joined him. After the attention +he had received, she was not in as patronizing a mood as before. + +"Are you willing to take a short promenade with such a guy as I +am, Mr. Hemstead?" she asked. + +"Yes, if you are willing to link yourself with so much awkwardness." + +"I wish I had your grace of mind, Mr. Hemstead." + +"You have no occasion to find fault with nature's gifts to you." + +"I fear you think I should find much fault with myself, if not with +nature. But I can hardly find fault with you after your kindly tact +in the supper-room. I wanted to join your breezy, sprightly chat, +and you gave me a chance so nicely." + +"Because I wished you to join it. It was not a deed of charity, +and you well repaid me. Indeed, I saw so much thought in your face, +that I wanted more of the same kind." + +"I think you see more than we give you credit for," she Said, +looking doubtfully at him. + +"'We'? who are 'we'? Yes, I am seeing a good deal here to-night. +As you went to see the 'other set' a few evenings ago, I also am +seeing some new phases of character." + +"And some new phases in one that you had a pretty good opinion of +that night. I imagine you no longer consider me 'capable of the +noblest things.'" + +"I have not changed my mind on that point at all, but--" and here +he hesitated. + +"But you are discovering that I am also capable of just the reverse." + +He flushed, but said gravely, "You put my thought too strongly, +Miss Marsden. It would be nearer the truth, if you care for ray +opinion at all, to say that I do not understand you." + +She also flushed, but said a little coldly, "I am not surprised; +I scarcely understand myself." + +"I find you full of puzzling contradictions," he added. + +"Since I cannot contradict you, I will seek some fallible creatures +like myself"; and she vanished, leaving him as uncomfortable and +puzzled as ever he had been in his life. + +She had scarcely entered the parlor before both De Forrest and +Brently sought her hand for a waltz. The latter had disgusted her +before, and now he was too tipsy for even the willing blindness +of girls like Addie Marchmont, so she escaped with De Forrest, but +soon found that his step was out of tune with the music, or her own +mind so preoccupied that their feet made discord with the notes. +Therefore she led her subservient attendant into the conservatory, +and got rid of him for a time by the following ruse. + +"I dropped something in the supper-room. Please find it, and look +till you do." + +De Forrest's ideas were too confused for him to ask what she +had lost; and once in the supper-room again, the champagne was so +inviting that he, with Brently and others, finished another bottle. + +With thoughts dwelling on Hemstead's words, she strolled to the +farther end of the walk, and around into another aisle, wishing +to be alone for a few moments. It was then that Harcourt and Miss +Martell entered, and before she was aware she heard the uncomplimentary +reference to herself, and understood the significance of the +unexpected scene. + +"That is what Mr. Hemstead thinks me capable of," she thought, +with tingling cheeks,--"making my 'beauty the slave of contemptible +vanity,' and employing it merely to win flattery and attention for +myself. You put it very plainly, Mr. Harcourt. I know what is your +opinion of me certainly. I wish I cared as little what Mr. Hemstead +thinks; and why I should care any more I'm sure I don't know. Yes, +I do, too. He's a true, good man, and is the first one that ever +treated me as if I were a true, good woman. But now I have made it +clear to him, as well as to Harcourt and Miss Martell, what I really +am. I knew what Brently was as well as the rest, and yet I smiled +upon him because the others did. By this time both of my most ardent +admirers are tipsy. What is their admiration worth?" + +As she entered the parlors she saw at a glance what would be +the character of the remaining hours. The sensuous spirit of wine +would inspire the gayety and intensify the natural excitement of +the occasion. Heretofore she could join in a fashionable revel with +the keenest zest, but she could not to-night. Unconsciously Miss +Martell had given her a stinging rebuke. She had been shown how a +beautiful woman might employ the power of her fascinations to lure +men into purer and nobler life, as Hemstead had suggested the morning +after his arrival. As she remembered that she had used her beauty +only to lure men to her feet, that she might enjoy a momentary +triumph, soon to be forgotten in other conquests, she was already +more than dissatisfied with herself,--an unusual experience with +Lottie Marsden. + +She refused half a dozen invitations to dancs, and was about +ascending to the dressing-room, when Harcourt met her in the hall +and said, "I think I had better send De Forrest home. Hemstead will +go with him." + +"What is the matter with Julian?" + +"Well, they say he mistook a decanter of brandy for wine. At any +rate he is under the table, 'looking for something of yours,' he +says; though what he does not say or does not know. What's more, +we can't get him up, for he says you told him not to leave the +dining-room till he found it. I fear we shall have to use force, +unless you can manage him." + +Then with a. burning flush of shame she remembered how, in her wish +to be alone, she had sent him into temptation, instead of trying +to shield and protect, as had Miss Martell in the case of Harcourt, +whose abstemiousness had excited the surprise of more than one. +But without a word she went directly to the supper-room; and there +witnessed a scene that she never forgot. + +The elegant De Forrest was crawling about the floor, uttering her +name continually in connection with the most maudlin sentiment, +and averring with many oaths that he would never rise till he had +found what she had lost. + +Brently, almost equally drunk, sat near, convulsed with laughter, +saying with silly iteration, "He's looking for Miss Marsden's +heart." + +Mrs. Byram and her son stood helplessly by, their manner showing +that their wish to be polite was almost mastered by their disgust. +Hemstead, who was trying to get De Forrest up, had just given a +stern rebuke to one of the giggling waiters as Lottie entered. + +It did not take her over a moment to comprehend all. While her +face was crimson, she acted decidedly and with a. certain dignity. +Going directly to De Forrest she said, "Julian, I have found what +I lost. Get up and come with me." + +His habitual deference to her wishes and words served him now. Her +tone and manner were quiet but very firm and positive, and he at +once sought to obey. Hemstead and Harcourt helped him to his feet. + +"I am going home, Julian, and wish you to go with me," she continued +in the same tone. + +"Certainly (hic) my dear (hic) I'll do anything (hic) in the world +(hic) or anywhere else for you." + +A look of intense disgust flitted across her face, but she turned, +and said emphatically to the others: "I am more to blame for this +than he. I sent him here some time since, when I knew, or ought +to have known, that he should have been kept away from temptation. +May I trespass so far upon your kindness as to ask all present to +remain silent in regard to this scene." + +"I know little of etiquette," said Hemstead, "but surely any one +would fail utterly in true courtesy, did they not accede to that +request." + +"Thank you, Mr. Hemstead," said Lottie, with a look he did not soon +forget. "Will you order the sleigh to the door? Mr. Harcourt, will +you get Mr. De Forrest's hat and coat?" + +The door leading into the parlor had been closed and locked as soon +as the trouble commenced, and thus the guests were ignorant of the +disgraceful scene. + +"Julian, I wish you to sit quietly here till I return," said Lottie, +in the most decided manner. + +He had sense enough left to know that something was wrong, and that +his safest course was to yield to her. So, muttering, maudlin, and +dishevelled, he sat almost helplessly in the chair where he was +placed, with not a trace of his former elegance left. + +Lottie looked at him a second, with a strange expression, then, +taking Mrs. Byram aside, asked, + +"Will you be so kind as to have the doors of the parlors leading +into the hall closed, as if accidentally, when we pass out?" Adding, +"I think if Mr. Byram can get Mr. Brently to his room now, it would +also be well." + +Mrs. Byram commenced many professions of regret, but Lottie merely +said, "I cannot think about it now. I can only act," and she hastened +away to prepare for the drive home. + +A moment later De Forrest was steadied through the hall and helped +into the sleigh. + +"Shall I sit by him?" asked Harcourt. + +"No," said Lottie, in the same decided voice. "I will take care of +him. I was the cause of his trouble, and will not leave him till +he is safely home. You will greatly oblige me if you will remain +with Addie and Bel, and disarm their suspicion and that of others. +Mr. Hemstead will accompany me, and we will send the sleigh back +immediately." + +"Miss Marsden," said Harcourt, "you are a noble hearted girl. I +will do whatever you wish." + +"Thank you for what you have done. That is all." + +"The horses are restless; I will sit with the coachman," said +Hemstead, surmising that Lottie would desire all the seclusion +possible under the circumstances. He was not mistaken, for as +Harcourt retired she said in a low tone, "You are right. I should +be glad to escape now even from your eyes, that are friendly, I +trust." + +"Yes," he replied, with an emphasis that did her good,--"most +friendly"; and they drove away through the cold white moonlight and +colder and whiter snow; and to Lottie, with her burdened conscience +and heavy heart, the calm night seemed more than ever like a face +regarding her with cold and silent scorn. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +MIDNIGHT VIGILS. + + + + + +There were indeed four strangely assorted characters in that sleigh +as they were carried beyond the sounds of music and gayety, which, +to Hemstead and Lottie Marsden at least, were little less than +mockery. There was the stolid coachman, who, whatever were his +thoughts, had been trained to appear oblivious of everything save +his duty, and to be but an animate part of the "establishment." +He was much like the horses he drove, living his narrow, material +life in the passing hour, knowing little and caring less about the +past or the future. + +Hemstead, in contrast, had a mind as ethereal as faith could make +it, and a fancy enriched by wide reading. Heretofore he had lived +chiefly in the past and future, his studies making him at home +in the one, and his hopes leading him forward into the other. But +now a silent form near him had a strange power to concentrate his +thoughts on the present. The man who had speculated and reasoned +about sinners in the abstract, and who had classified and divided +them up into well-defined shades and degrees, was now sorely puzzled +over two of them, who, in a certain sense, were under his charge. +What was also odd, his deepest sympathy and desire to help did not +appear drawn toward the greater sinner. Indeed, for the tipsy youth +he had hardly a sentiment other than contempt. Broad, impartial +rules of action and feeling seemed perfectly correct in the seminary. +He forgot that he was not carrying them out. It did not occur to +him that he was like a physician who stepped by the sickest patient +to a better and more promising one. In justice it must be said that +he would have put himself to any personal inconvenience, and have +made any effort in his power, were the question brought to an issue, +in order to work a transformation in De Forrest's character. But +for some reason it was so perfectly natural to take an absorbing +interest in Lottie's moral state that he never asked himself why +he had not a similar solicitude for Addie or Bel Parton. + +Rigid and impartial rules are very well till fallible men come to +apply them to their most fallible fellow-creatures. + +Only God can mercifully apply a perfect law to imperfect humanity, +and if He had a "beloved disciple," might not Hemstead have a +favorite sinner? + +And an oddly related couple were those two young people whom all +supposed destined for a union, that in the judgment of friends +would be most fitting, but that in truth would be unnatural and +productive of wretchedness. Though Hemstead's mind dwelt unwaveringly +upon them, he never once looked back during the drive. He would have +seen a strange sight if he had,--a beautiful woman, with a face +looking almost spirit-like in the pale moonlight, with her arm, for +the first time, around a man whom she was beginning in the depths +of her soul almost to loathe. No embrace of affection was that, +but a mechanical act prompted by a stern and remorseful sense of +duty. She shrank from the man whose swaying form she steadied. It +was settled that night in her own soul, as if by a decree of fate, +that she would never marry Julian De Forrest. And yet it was one +of the good traits in her character, that, while she drew back in +shuddering aversion from any dose personal relation to him, she +at the same time bad generous, regretful pity, and, if she could +be kind to him at a distance, would be a very faithful friend. + +But why did her eyes tarn so often and so wistfully up to the tall +great-coated form before her? She did not know. She did not even +ask herself. + +Are we ever guided by reason, will, deliberate choice? Are there +not often strong half-recognized instincts that sway us more +profoundly, even as the plant unconsciously turns its leaves and +blossoms towards the sun, and sends its roots groping unerringly +to the moisture? + +So absorbed was she in looking at the square, burly form before +her, that the sleigh suddenly stopped at Mrs. Marchmont's door, +and Hemstead looked around and caught her eye. What was more, he +saw her apparently loving embrace of De Forrest. He was not versed +in the conditions of intoxication, nor did he realize that De +Forrest was so far gone as to make the act necessary. But he could +see her blush, even in the moonlight. + +Without a word he assisted her oat, but had some difficulty with +De Forrest, who, from the fumes of liquor and the cold air, had +grown very drowsy. But Hemstead's grasp was so strong and masterful, +that while he roused, he also steadied and supported him up the +steps. Lottie said to the coachman, "Mr. De Forrest is not well, +so we came home earlier. You may now return for the others." + +The man heard her with a stolid face that might have been mahogany, +but when by himself it relaxed into a grim smile as he chuckled, +"I've seen people have such spells afore; but if you was my darter, +miss, I'd make you give that chap the mitten, 'cause sich bad spells +is wonderful apt to grow on a feller." + +Mrs. Marchmont and Mr. Dimmerly had retired, and the rather dull +servant who admitted them was too sleepy to note anything. Lottie +promptly dismissed her, and told her she would wait for the others. + +Hemstead saw De Forrest to his room. He had become so stupid that +he did mechanically what was urged, and the student soon left him +sleeping heavily. + +But Hemstead's heart was strangely burdened. He had come to the +conclusion that under all Lottie's coquetry and cousinly freedom +with De Forrest she had hidden a real attachment, and that perhaps +an engagement, or at least an understanding, existed between them. +He did not think at the time why this relation should so depress +him. He would probably have explained it by his natural regret that +such a girl should be mismated to such a man. But it might well +have been doubted whether his heart would have become suddenly like +lead, had he discovered that his own cousin was engaged, even to +Brently, however sincere might have been his regret. But he descended +to the parlor with the unselfish purpose and wish to bring her +mind again under the spell of truth, if possible, hoping that the +events of the evening would suggest the need of a better philosophy +than she had learned in the past. + +But he would have no little difficulty in maintaining his +disinterestedness and general missionary spirit in the interview +that awaited him. + +For a young man but a few years past his majority, with an +impressible nature and a warm heart, to watch through the witching +hour of midnight with a maiden like Lottie Marsden, and all the +time have no other thought than her moral improvement, is perhaps +asking too much of human nature. With the very best intentions and +with the absolute conviction, as he supposed, that the young lady +could only be a subject for his missionary zeal, unconsciously the +beautiful picture she made with the firelight flickering upon her +face, and the snowy opera-cloak thrown around her, stole into his +heart that was large and empty, waiting for an occupant. + +"I have drawn a chair close up to the fire," she said, "for you +must be cold after riding on that high seat with the coachman." + +"I am not cold, but I thank you all the same." + +"You have been kinder to me than I deserved, Mr. Hemstead." + +Truly Lottie's gratitude would be a dangerous thing to any man, as +she expressed it then; and the disinterested student was conscious +of a strange thrill at heart. But he said, with a flush of pleasure: +"I do not know that I have. At any rate friends should not keep +a debit and credit account with each other." + +"And can you still feel friendly to me after this evening?" + +"Do I look savagely hostile?" he asked smilingly. + +"I feared you would despise me. I certainly despise myself." + +"From the fact that you so evidently blame yourself I am less +disposed to blame." + +"But you rightly think me most worthy of blame." + +"Do you honestly care what I think, Miss Marsden? My opinions have +been formed in what must seem a plain and homely world to you, quite +devoid of the elegance and fashion to which you have been accustomed." + +"I begin to think it is a better world than mine, and to-night I +am sick of elegance and fashion. Yes, I honestly do care now what +you do think. I have been flattered and lied to all my life, and +you are the first man who ever told me the unvarnished truth." + +He rose and paced thoughtfully up and down the room; then looked +dubiously at her. She was so exquisitely beautiful, and seemed +in such a kindly mood, that he was greatly tempted to temporize +and say smooth things, lest he should offend and drive her away. +But conscience whispered, "Now is your opportunity to speak the +'unvarnished truth,' whatever be the consequences"; and conscience +with Hemstead was an imperative martinet. She waited in curious +and quiet expectancy. This sincere and unconventional man was +delightfully odd and interesting to her. She saw the power and +fascination of her beauty upon him, and at the same time perceived +that in his crystal integrity he would give her his honest thought. +She interpreted his hesitancy, and said, "You fear that I shall be +offended?" + +"Yes." + +"I promise you to listen patiently--yes, gratefully--to the severest +things you can say." + +"I may test your promise severely. I am a plain and awkward man. +Will you permit a plain and homely illustration of my thought?" + +"I'm in a mood for plain words to-night. They will be in keeping +with the former events of the evening, which were plain enough." + +"Well, then, were it possible that I could be the fortunate +possessor of a statue by Phidias, I would not use it as a hat-stand. +If I possessed a painting by Rubens, I would not turn it into a +fire-screen." + +He hesitated, as he saw the hot blood mount to her face; but she +said quietly, "Go on. I think I understand you." + +He continued in a tone that was as gentle as his words seemed harsh. +"Believe me, I am speaking in kindness, and only because you are +brave enough to give me leave. As Phidias might embody beauty itself +in marble, so God has bestowed it on you. When I was looking upon +that marvellous scene--that transfigured world--the morning after +my arrival, you appeared and seemed a part of it. Do you remember +what I said then? I have reluctantly thought to-night that you +could wear your coronet of beauty, not Only as a benignant queen, +but as a petty tyrant,--that you could put it to ignoble uses, and +make it a slave to self. It seemed at times that you only sought to +lead men to bow in admiration to you, instead of inspiring them to +stand erect in true manhood, with their faces heavenward. A woman +endowed as you are can always do with a man one of two things: +either fascinate him with her own personality, so that his thought +is only of her; or else through her beauty and words and manner, +that are in keeping, suggest the diviner loveliness of a noble +life and character. I am satisfied that one could not be in Miss +Martell's society without being better, or wishing to be better. +You might have the same influence, and to a greater degree, because +you naturally have more force and quicker sympathies. There is +more magnetism in your nature, and you could understand and help, +if you chose, a wider range of character than she. I doubt very +much whether Miss Martell could make herself much at home among +the plain country folk that you quite carried by storm the other +evening. God has given you the power and beauty. Will you let me +ask, in the spirit of kindness, not criticism, Are you using these +gifts for Him, or for yourself?" + +Lottie's eyes were moist, but her brow was contracted into +a thoughtful frown, as she sat lowering at the fire. After a few +moments' silence, she said, in a tone of bitterness: + +"As I feel and see things to-night, I should say, for neither God +nor myself, but solely and expressly for the sake of the Evil One. +What good, what happiness, do all the compliments, all the attention +I ever received, secure to me to-night? I thought I was using all +for my own benefit. That was my only purpose and aim, but every +flattering thing that I can remember is only a burden to think +of now. I am the worse for my beauty, as you regard it. I cannot +think of any one that I have made better; but many that I have made +worse. I seem to have been receiving all my life, and yet to-night +I feel as if I had nothing but a burden upon my heart." + +Hemstead's words were not reassuring. Indeed, Lottie thought them +a trifle harsh, though spoken so kindly. + +"You cannot feel otherwise, Miss Marsden. You have been seeking to +keep and use for yourself what God meant you should use for Him. +You feel very much as you would, did you take a large sum of money, +left in your hands as a sacred trust, and go on a pleasure trip +with it. He has intrusted to you the richest and rarest gifts, and +every day that you have misappropriated them is a burden upon your +conscience. You will feel the same after a long life of adulation, +in which every whim has been gratified. Believe me, Miss Marsden, +it is a very sad thing to come to the end of one's life with no +other possession than a burdened conscience and a heavy, guilty +heart. I long to save you from such a fate. That would be a wretchedly +poor result of a lifetime for one endowed as you are." + +"Your words are very severe, Mr. Hemstead," she said in a low tone, +burying her face in her hands. + +"Faithful are the wounds of a friend," he replied. + +"I never thought I could permit any one to speak to me as you have +done, nor would I endure it from you, did I not recognize something +like sympathy in the voice with which you speak such cutting words. +But I fear they are true, after all. A burdened conscience and a +guilty heart seem all there is of me to-night." + +He was about to reverse the picture, and portray in strong and +hopeful terms what she might be, and what she could accomplish, +when the sleigh-bells announced the return of the rest of the party. +She sprang up and said hastily: "I do not wish to meet them to-night, +and so will retire at once. As physician of the 'mind diseased' +you dearly believe in what is termed the 'heroic treatment.' Your +scalpel is sharp, and you cut deeply. But as proof that I have kept +my word, and am not offended, I give you my hand." + +He took it in both of his, but did not speak. She looked up at him +through the tears that still lingered, and was touched to see that +his eyes were as moist as hers. Giving his hand a cordial pressure, +she said as she left him: "You cannot look at me in harsh criticism +through tears of sympathy. Your face is kinder than your words. I +am glad you do not despise me." + +Hemstead admitted Harcourt and the young ladies into the shadowy +hall, and then bade them good night. He, too, was in no mood +for Addie's gossip or Bel's satire. They had also found Harcourt +strangely silent and pre-occupied. + +The evident influence of Miss Martell over Harcourt, and their +intimate relations require some explanation. He was an orphan, +and his father had been a friend of Mr. Martell. During the last +illness of the elder Mr. Harcourt, he had asked his friend to take +some interest in his son, and, when possible, to give him friendly +counsel. To a man like Mr. Martell such a request was like a sacred +obligation; and he had sought to do more than was asked. He wrote +the young man almost fatherly letters, and often invited him to his +house. Thus it came about that the influence of Mr. Martell and +his daughter did more to restrain the wayward tendencies of young +Harcourt than all other things combined; and it must be confessed +that the little blue-eyed girl had more influence than the wise +old father. She seemed to take almost a sisterly interest in him, +and occasionally wrote such a sweet little letter that he would +reform his college life for a week thereafter. But he seemed +to have a dash of wild blood that would break out only too often +into indiscretions, the rumors of which filled his kind friend Mr. +Martell with anxiety. But Alice, his daughter ever insisted that +he would "come out all right." + +"Tom has a good heart, father," she would say; and so, with woman's +faith, she hoped where her father feared. + +If Harcourt could have been continually under their influence +he would undoubtedly have developed into a far better man. But, +between absence at college and the law-school and some travel during +vacations, he saw less and less of them. Alice also was kept very +steadily at school, and during the last two years of her studies +they had missed each other in vacations, and seldom met. + +But something more than maidenly modesty and pride made Alice shy +and reserved when with Harcourt. She would think more about him, +but talk less to him than to others when in company. She was a +peculiarly sensitive, diffident girl, and instinctively shrank from +the man who had for her the strongest interest. + +On the completion of her studies her father had taken her abroad, +and they had spent two or three years in travel. The extraordinary +graces of her person were but the reflex of her richly cultivated +mind. Even abroad she had many admirers; but with tact, firmness, +and inimitable grace, she ever sought to prevent false hopes, and +so had fewer offers than an ordinary coquette. But many who soon +learned that they could never establish a dearer relation became +strong friends, and also better men; for Alice Martell seemed to +have the power of evoking all the good there was in a man, and of +putting him under a kind of sacred obligation to be true and manly, +as the result of her acquaintance. However deep and lasting regret +may have been, no man ever left her presence in harsh and bitter +contempt for the--very name of woman, as too often had been the +case with Lottie Marsden. Those who knew her least said she was +cold, and those who knew her true, womanly heart best wondered at +her continued indifference to every suit. And sometimes she wondered +at herself,--how it was that all the attention she received scarcely +ever quickened her pulse. + +But when after long absence she returned and met the friend +and playmate of her childhood--the wayward youth to whom she was +accustomed to give sisterly counsel--her pulse was so strangely +accelerated, and the blood so quick to mount to her face at his +every word and look, that she began to understand herself somewhat. + +They had but recently returned to their residence on the banks of +the Hudson; and Harcourt was made a welcome visitor. + +Having completed his professional studies, the young man had +succeeded largely to the practice of his deceased father, and was +doing well in a business point of view. He had inherited enough +property to secure a good start in life, but not enough to rob him +of the wholesome stimulus which comes from the need of self-exertion. +He had an acute, active mind. Abundance of intellect and fire +flashed from his dark eyes, and we have seen that he was not without +good and generous traits. But in his spiritual life he had become +materialistic and sceptical. His associates were brilliant, but fast +men; and for him also the wine-cup was gaining dangerous fascination. + +Mr. Martell, in the spirit of the most friendly interest, soon +learned these facts after his return, and also the gossip, which +brought a sudden paleness to his daughter's cheek, that he was +engaged, or virtually engaged, to Addie Marchmont. + +While Alice therefore was kind, she seemed to avoid him; and he +found it almost impossible to be alone with her. She had always +dwelt in his mind, more as a cherished ideal, a revered saint, +than as an ordinary flesh-and-blood girl with whom he was fit to +associate, and for a time after her return her manner increased +this impression. He explained the recognized fact that she shunned +his society by thinking that she knew his evil tendencies, and that +to her believing and Christian spirit his faithless and irregular +life was utterly uncongenial. For a short time he had tried to +ignore her opinion and society in reckless indifference; but the +loveliness of her person and character daily grew more fascinating, +and his evil habits lost in power as she gained. For some little +time before Mrs. Byram's company, he had been earnestly wishing +that he could become worthy of at least her esteem and old friendly +regard, not daring to hope for anything more. It never occurred to +him that gossip had coupled his name with his cousin Addie, and +that this fact influenced Miss Martell's manner as well as his +tendencies toward dissipation. He laid it all to the latter cause, +and was beginning to feel that he could live the life of an ascetic, +if this lovely saint would only permit his devotion. + +And Alice, so sensitive where he was concerned, thought she +saw a change in him for the better, and in the spirit of womanly +self-sacrifice was resolving to see more of him than was prudent +for her peace of mind, if by so doing she could regain her old +power to advise and restrain. + +With gladness she recognized her influence over him at Mrs. Byram's +company, and, as we have seen, made the most of it. But, with +surprise and some strange thrills at heart, she noted that he and +Addie Marchmont did not act as an engaged couple naturally would; +and observed, with disgust, that Miss Marchmont seemed more pleased +with Brently's attentions than Lottie Marsden had been. + +That a man of Harcourt's force and mind should be captivated by +such a girl as Miss Marchmont, had been a mystery; and she thought, +when seeing them together in Mrs. Byram's parlors, "They take it +more coolly than any people I ever saw." + +Addle appeared engrossed with the attentions of others, and Harcourt +not in the least jealous or annoyed. In brief, they acted like +cousins, and not in the least like lovers. + +But in the sensitive delicacy of her character she would not permit +her mind to dwell on the problem of their relations, and bent all +her thoughts upon her effort to win Harcourt to a better life. + +And she had moved him that evening more deeply than she could know. +Neither she, nor any finite power, could plant righteous principle +within his soul and transform his character; but she had created, +for the time at least, an utter distaste for all low and sensual +pleasures, and an honest and absorbing wish to become a true, good +man. He felt that he could not, in her society, and breathing the +pure atmosphere of her life, be his old self. + +Never did a man return from a fashionable revel in a more serious +and thoughtful mood, and equally with Lottie and Hemstead he was +glad to escape, from the trifling chat and gossip of Addie and Bel +Parton, to the solitude of his own loom. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +HEMSTEAD'S HEAVY GUN AND ITS RECOIL. + + + + + +The "day after the ball" has its proverbial character, and Saturday +was so long and dismal to several of the revellers that it occurred +to them that their pleasure had been purchased rather dearly. It +seemed an odd coincidence, that those who had been bent on securing +all the pleasure possible, with no other thought, suffered the +most. Bel and Addie could scarcely endure their own company, they +were so weary and stupid; and they yawned through the day, irritable +and dishevelled, for it was too stormy for callers. + +De Forrest did not appear until dinner, and then came down moody +and taciturn. The young ladies had heard of his illness the evening +before, with significant glances. Mrs. Marchmont partly surmised +the truth, but politely ignored the matter, treating it only as a +sudden indisposition; and so the affair was passed over, as such +matters usually are in fashionable life until they reach a stage +too pronounced for polite blindness. + +De Forrest but dimly recollected the events of the preceding evening. +He was quite certain, however, that he had been drunk, and had made +a fool of himself. + +Though his conscience was not over tender upon this subject, and +though such occurrences were not so exceedingly rare in fashionable +life as to be very shocking, he still had the training and instinct +of a gentleman, to a sufficient degree to feel deep mortification. + +If he had become tipsy among those of his own sex, or while off on +a fishing excursion, he would have regarded it as a light matter; +but, even in his eyes, intoxication at an evening company, and +before the girl in whose estimation he most wished to stand well, +was a very serious matter. He could not remember much after going +a second time to the supper-room in compliance with Lottie's request, +but had a vague impression that she and Hemstead had brought him +home. He was left in torturing uncertainty how far he had disgraced +himself, because it was a subject concerning which he could not bring +himself to make inquiries. That those he met at the dinner-table +treated him with their usual quiet politeness proved nothing. +Human faces mask more thoughts than are expressed. Hemstead's grave +silence was somewhat significant; but De Forrest cared so little +for his opinion that he scarcely heeded the student's manner. + +Lottie Marsden was the one he most wished, and yet most dreaded to +see. But Lottie did not appear. + +Whether it was true, as she believed, or not, that she was the more +guilty, she certainly was the greater sufferer, and that Saturday +became the longest and dreariest period of pain that she had ever +experienced. She awoke in the morning with a nervous headache, which +grew so severe that she declined to leave her room during the day. +Bel, Addie, and her aunt all offered to do anything in their power; +but she only asked to be left alone. She was so unstrung that even +words of kindness and solicitude jarred like discord. + +It was torture to think, and yet her brain was unnaturally active. +Everything presented itself in the most painfully bare and accurate +manner. The glamour faded out of her gay young life, and she saw +only the hard lines of fact. Hemstead's words repeated themselves +over and over again, and in their light she questioned the past +closely. It was not in keeping with her positive nature and strong +mind to do things by halves. With fixed and steady scrutiny she +reviewed the motives of her life, and estimated the results. They +were so unsatisfactory as to startle her. Although the spent years +had been filled with continuous and varied activity, what had she +accomplished for herself or any one else? Were not all her past +days like water spilled on barren sands, producing nothing? + +As she had before intimated, she had been receiving homage, flattery, +and even love, all her life, and yet now her heart had no treasures +to which she could turn in solid satisfaction, nor could memory +recall efforts like that she saw Miss Martell making in behalf of +Harcourt. The adulation received was now empty breath and forgotten +words, and nothing substantial or comforting remained. + +But, if memory could recall little good accomplished, it placed in +long and dark array many scenes that she would gladly have forgotten. + +What can be worse--what need we fear more--than to be left alone +forever with a guilty and accusing conscience, and no respite, no +solace? What perdition need a man shrink from more than to go away +from his earthly life, to be alone with memory--a pale and silent +spectre--who will turn the pages of his daily record, and point to +what was, and what might have been? + +A shallow-minded girl would have been incapable of this searching +self-analysis. A weak, irresolute girl like Bel Parton would have +taken a sedative, and escaped a miserable day in sleep. But, with +all her faults, Lottie abounded in practical common sense; and +Hemstead's words and her own experience suggested that she might +be doing herself a very great wrong. She felt that it was no light +matter to make one's whole life a blunder, and to invest all one's +years and energies in what paid no better interest than she had +received that day. Her physical pain and mental distress acted and +reacted upon each other, until at last, wearied out, she sobbed +herself to sleep. + +Both De Forrest and Hemstead were greatly in hopes that she would +be at the supper-table, but they did not see her that day. The +former, with his aching head and heavy heart, learned, if never +before, that the "way of transgressors is hard." But, though the +latter could not be regarded as a transgressor, his way was hard +also that long day; and he whom Lottie, in the memory of his severe +words, regarded somewhat as her stern accuser, would have been more +than ready to take all her pains and woes upon himself, could he +have relieved her. + +He now bitterly condemned himself for having been too harsh in the +wholesome truth he had brought home to the nattered girl. It was +rather severe treatment; still she was vigorous, and would be all +the better for it. But now her faithful physician, as he heard how +ill and suffering she was, almost wished that he had but faintly +suggested the truth in homreopathic doses. + +At the same time he supposed that her indisposition was caused more +by her shame and grief at the conduct of De Forrest than by anything +he had said. The impression that she was attached or engaged to De +Forrest was becoming almost a conviction. + +Though Lottie had never, by a word, bound herself to her cousin, +yet her aunt and all the household regarded her as virtually engaged +to him, and expected that the marriage would eventually occur. With +Hemstead, they regarded her illness and seclusion as the result +of her mortificaton at his behavior, and, underneath their politic +politeness, were very indignant at his folly. But they expected +that the trouble would soon blow over, as a matter of course. The +mantle of charity for young men as rich and well-connected as De +Forrest is very large. And then this slip could be regarded somewhat +in the light of an accident; for when it became evident that Bel +understood the nature of De Forrest's "spell," as the coachman +called it, Lottie had taken pains to insist that it was an accident +for which she was chiefly to blame; and had also said as much to +Mrs. Marchmont. Thus they all concluded that her relations with +De Forrest would not be disturbed. + +Harcourt was the happiest of the party; but it must be confessed +that, clearer than any law points, he saw still among blooming +exotics a being far more rare and beautiful, who stood before him +the whole day with clasped hands and entreating eyes, whose only +request was, "be a true man." Under the inspiration of her words and +manner he began to hope that he might eventually grant her request. + +As far as Lottie's intruding image would permit, Hemstead concentrated +all his energies on the great sermon, the elaborate effort of many +months, that he expected to preach on the morrow. He hoped that +Lottie, and indeed all, would be there, for it seemed that if they +would only give him their thoughtful attention he would prove beyond +a shadow of a doubt that they were in God's hands, and that it +would be worse than folly not to submit to His shaping and moulding +discipline. + +At last Sunday morning came. It was a cold, chilly, leaden day, +and even a glance from the windows gave one a shivering sense of +discomfort. + +The gloom of nature seemed to shadow the faces of some of the +party as they gathered at a late breakfast; and of none was this +more true than of Lottie Marsden, as, pale and languid, she took +her wonted place. Her greeting of De Forrest was most kindly, and +he seemed greatly reassured. and brightened up instantly. But +Lottie's face did not lose its deep dejection. + +To the others she appeared to take very little notice of Hemstead; +but he thought that he observed her eyes furtively seeking his +face, with a questioning expression. Once he answered her gknce +with such a frank, sunny smile that her own face lighted up. As +they were passing into the parlor he said, in a low tone, "I wished +a hundred times yesterday that I could bear your headache for you." + +"That is more kind than just. It is right that I should get my +deserts," she replied, shaking her head. + +"Heaven save us from our deserts," he answered quickly. + +Before she could speak again, De Forrest was by her side and said, +"Let me wheel the lounge up to the fire, and I will read anything +you wish this morning." + +"O, no; I'm going to church." + +"Miss Lottie, I beg of you do not go. You are not able." + +"Yes, I am; the air will do me good. It's the Sunday before Christmas, +Julian, and we both ought to be at church." + +"O, certainly, I'll go if you wish it." + +"I hope your sermon will do me good, Mr. Hemstead. I'm wofully +blue," she said, as she left the room to prepare for church. + +"I think it will," he replied; "for I have prepared it with a great +deal of care." + +The building was a small but pretty Gothic structure, and its sacred +quiet did seem to Lottie somewhat like a refuge. With an interest +such as she had never felt in the elegant city temple, she waited +for the service to begin, honestly hoping that there might be +something that would comfort and reassure. + +But Hemstead went through the preliminary services with but +indifferent grace and effect. He was embarrassed and awkward, as +is usually the case with those who have seldom faced an audience, +and who are naturally very diffident. But as he entered upon his +sermon his self-consciousness began to pass away, and he spoke with +increasing power and effect. + +He took as his text words from the eleventh chapter of St. John, +wherein Jesus declares to his disciples, in regard to the death of +Lazarus, "I am glad, for your sakes, that I was not there, to the +intent ye may believe." + +The importance of faith--believing--as the source of Christian +life, and the ground of man's acceptance with God, was his subject, +from which he wandered somewhat,--a course often observed in the +ministerial tyro. + +He presented his views strongly, however; but they were partial and +unripe, giving but one side of the truth, and therefore calculated +to do injury rather than good. He did not--he could not--over-estimate +the importance of faith, but he unwittingly misrepresented God, in +his efforts to inspire this faith, and the Christian life resulting; +and he under-valued our earthly state and its interests. + +He sketched in strong outlines the experience of the little family +at Bethany, portraying with vivid realism the suffering of the man +whom Jesus loved; the anxiety of the sisters when Lazarus became +ill; this anxiety passing into fear, dread, sickening certainty, +and despair; the anguish of bereavement, the loneliness and +heart-breaking sorrow of four days; and that most agonized wrench +of the heart when the beloved form is left alone to corrupt in the +dark and silent sepulchre. + +Having presented this picture in such true and sombre colors that +the gloom was reflected from the faces of all his hearers, they +being reminded that this would be their lot ere long, he passed +suddenly from the painful scenes of Bethany to Bethabara, beyond +Jordan, where was sojourning the mysterious Prophet of Nazareth, +who had so often proved His power to heal every disease. He enlarged +upon the fact that Jesus, seeing all the suffering at Bethany, +which He could change by a word into gladness, did not interfere, +but decreed that the terrible ordeal should be endured to the bitter +end. + +From this he reasoned that the transient sorrows of the household +at Bethany were of little moment, and that God, in the advancement +of His own glory and the accomplishment of His great plans, would +never turn aside because His human children in their short-sighted +weakness would stay His heavy hand if they could. He knew all that +was occurring at Bethany, but calmly permitted it to take place, +and in this case it was the same as if He had willed it. + +He then proceeded to show that the Divine purpose had not only a +wide and general sweep, embracing the race, and extending through +all time, but that there was a minute providence encompassing each +life. If there were any good in us, God would bring it out, nor +would He spare us in the effort. The preacher, unfortunately and +unconsciously to himself, gave the impression that God acted on +the principle that He could accomplish far more with the rod of +affliction than with anything else, and that when He fully set about +the task of winning a soul from sin, His first step was to stretch +it upon the rack of some kind of suffering. He also intensified +this painful impression by giving the idea that God thought little +of the processes, which might be so painful to us, but fixed His +eye only on the result. If people became sullen, rebellious, or +reckless under His discipline, they were like misshappen clay, that +the potter must cast aside. The crude ore must go into the furnace, +and if there was good metal in it the fact would appear. + +"Sooner or later," he said, "God will put every soul into the +crucible of affliction. Sooner or later we shall all be passing +through scenes like that of the family at Bethany. We may not hope +to escape. God means we shall not. As Christ firmly, while seeing +all, left events at Bethany to their designed course, so He will +as surely and steadily carry out the discipline which He, as the +unerring physician of the soul, sees that each one of us requires. +Does the refiner hesitate to put the crude ore into the crucible? +Does the sculptor shrink from chiselling the shapeless block +into beauty? Does not the surgeon, with nerves of steel and pulse +unquickened, cut near the very vitals of his agonized patient? He +sees that it is necessary, in order to save from greater evil, and +therefore he is as remorseless as fate. If to cure some transient, +physical infirmity, man is justified in inflicting--nay, more, is +compelled to inflict--so much suffering upon his fellow-creatures, +how much more is God justified in His severest moral discipline, +which has as its object our eternal health. Though we shrink from +the sorrow, though we writhe under the pain, though our hearts +break a thousand times, He will not waver in His calm, steadfast +purpose. He sees eternity; the present is as nothing to Him. He +will break our grasp from all earthly idols, even though He tear +our bleeding hearts asunder. If we are trusting in aught save Him, +that upon which we are leaning will be snatched away, even though +we fall at first into the depths of despairing sorrow. What He makes +us suffer now is not to be considered, in view of His purpose to +wean us from this world and prepare us for the next. Christ, as we +learn from our text, is as inflexible as fate, and does not hesitate +to secure the needful faith by remaining away, even though the +message of the sisters was an entreaty in itself. Nay, more, he +distinctly declares to his disciples, 'I am glad, for your sakes, +that I was not there, to the intent ye may believe.' + +"In conclusion, we assert that we ought to rise above our human +weakness and co-work with God. Instead of clinging so to the present, +we ought to think of the eternal future, and welcome the harshest +discipline which prepares us for that future. We should mortify +ourselves, trample our earthly natures under our feet. To that +degree that we can bring ourselves to think less of earth, we shall +think more of heaven. Our business, our earthly hopes and plans, +our dearest ties, may be fatal snares to our souls. The husband +may make an idol of his wife, the mother of her child. God jealously +watches; we should watch more jealously. The sisters may have been +loving their brother and trusting to his protection more than in +Christ. We should hold all earthly possessions in fear and trembling, +as something not our own, but only committed for a brief time to +our trust. We should remember that the one great object of this +life is to secure that faith which leads to preparation for the +life to come. The harsher our experiences are here, the better, +if they more surely wean us from earth and all earthly things, and +make eternity the habitation of our thoughts. We see how stern and +resolute God is in His great purpose to stamp out unbelief from +the world. Jesus would not save the family at Bethany that He +loved,--the family that freely gave hospitality and love in return +when nearly all the world was hostile. Do not think, then, that +He will spare us. Let us therefore not spare ourselves, but with +remorseless hands smite down every earthly object that hides from +our view the wide ocean of eternity. As the wise men from the East +travelled steadily across arid wastes with eyes fixed only on the +strange bright luminary that was guiding them to Bethlehem, so we +should regard this world as a desert across which we must hasten +to the presence of our God." + +As Hemstead forgot himself, and became absorbed in his theme, +he spoke with impressivensss and power; and everywhere throughout +the audience was seen that thoughtful contraction of the brow and +fixed gaze which betoken deep attention. But upon the faces of nearly +all was the expression of one listening to something painful. This +was especially true of Miss Martell and her father, while Harcourt's +face grew cold and satirical. Lottie looked pale and sullen, and +De Forrest was evidently disgusted. Mr. Dimmerly fidgeted in his +seat, and even complacent Mrs. Marchmont seemed a little ruffled +and disturbed, while her daughter Addie was in a state of irritable +protest against both preacher and sermon. Poor Bel was merely +frightened and conscience-stricken,--her usual condition after +every sermon to which she listened. + +As, during the brief remnant of the service, Hemstead dropped into +consciousness of the world around him, he felt at first, rather +than saw, the chill he had caused, instead of a glow answering to +his own feelings. As he looked more closely, he imagined he detected +a gloomy and forbidding expression on the faces turned towards him. +The Gospel--the message of good news that he had brought--appeared +to shadow the audience like a passing cloud. + +After dismission, the people aroused themselves as from an oppressive +dream. The few greetings and congratulations that he received +as he passed down the aisle seemed formal and constrained, and, +he thought, a little insincere. He was still more puzzled as he +overheard Miss Martell say to Harcourt at the door, "I am sorry +you heard that sermon." + +"I am, too," he replied, "for it seemed true." + +"It's only half-truth," she said earnestly. + +"The Lord deliver me, then; this half is more than I can stand." + +Lottie scarcely spoke during the drive home, and Hemstead noted, +with pain, that her face had a hard, defiant look. It occurred +to him that he had not seen any who appeared to have enjoyed the +service. + +There were long pauses at the dinner-table, and after one of the +longest, Mr. Dimmerly abruptly remarked, in his sententious manner: +"Well, nephew, I suppose you gave us a powerful sermon this morning. +It has made us all deucedly uncomfortable, anyhow. But I've no +doubt the old rule holds good, the worse the medicine is to take +the more certain to cure." + +Lottie's response to this remark was a ringing laugh, in which the +others, in the inevitable reaction from the morbid gloom, joined +with a heartiness that was most annoying to the young clergyman. + +"You must excuse me, Mr. Hemstead," said she, after a moment, "I +have had the blues all day, and have reached that point where I +must either laugh or cry, and prefer the former at the dinner-table." + +Hemstead stiffly bowed as his only response. He was too chagrined, +puzzled, and disappointed to venture upon a reply, and after this +one lurid gleam of unnatural mirth the murky gloom of the day seemed +to settle down more heavily than before. + +After dinner De Forrest tried to secure Lottie's society for the +afternoon. The refusal was kind, not careless, as had been often +the case. Indeed her whole manner towards him might be characterized +as a grave, remorseful kindness, such as we might show towards a +child or an inferior that we had wronged somewhat. + +De Forrest, finding that Lottie would persist in going to her room, +went to his also, and took a long, comfortable nap. + +Bel wanted to talk about the sermon, but as Lottie would not talk +about anything, she, too, soon forgot her spiritual anxieties in +sleep. + +But Lottie sat and stared at her fire, and Hemstead, deserted by +all, stared at the fire in the parlor; and both were sorely troubled +and perplexed. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +THE PREACHER TAUGHT BY THE PAGAN + + + + + +We have said that Lottie Marsden was a pagan. That is not +necessarily a reproach. Socrates was a pagan. But Lottie, in the +main, was a very ordinary pagan, not better than the average. Her +only superiority over other idolaters, and many nominal Christians, +it might be added, was her practical common sense. The more she +thought, the more unsatisfactory Hemstead's sermon grew, and the +more sure she became that there was a wrong somewhere: in him, or +her, or in religion itself. + +Her whole nature revolted at the idea of God given that morning. + +In her vivid fancy, she saw an unrelenting, unimpassioned, and yet +all-powerful Being, from whom there was no escape, calmly subjecting +one human life after another to the severest crucial tests. If one +could endure them, all might be well. If, in the composition of +one's character, there existed good metal, it would come out of the +furnace fine gold perhaps; but if, as she feared might be true of +herself, there was only dross, then the fiery trials awaiting would +be as useless as cruel. + +"Why couldn't an all-powerful God find a pleasanter and surer +way of making us good?" she asked in bitterness. "I know there +is something wrong in what Mr. Hemstead preached this morning. He +is different from his own doctrines, and to my mind a great deal +better. He was severe upon me, but not calmly and stonily severe. +He looked as if he felt for me deeply, and would, even at cost to +himself, give me aid if I tried to do right. If he had shown me +my faults in the calm, cold distance of immeasurable superiority +which he ascribed to God, I would not have listened to a word. +But his voice was gentleness itself, and it evidently pained him +to give me pain; but when he came to show our relations to God, +I seemed to come into the presence of stony-hearted, stony-faced +fate. If this is the real God that ministers preach about, little +wonder that they have such a hard time of it in persuading us to +love Him. Little wonder that people forget Him as long as they can. +But Mr. Hemstead seems to want us to think of these awful things +nearly all the time; and what's worse, to begin torturing and +mortifying ourselves, even before God is ready to commence. No, +I thank you. No such religion for me. If I must go into the fiery +furnace, I won't go till I must." + +She sprang up, and restlessly paced the room. "He's a very cheerful +apostle of such a gloomy gospel," she thought. "Gospel! I thought +'gospel' meant 'good news.' I never heard worse than he told us +this morning. If what he preached is true religion, he's a very +inconsistent professor of it, and I would like to tell him so. + +"What's more, I will if I can find him"; and acting upon the impulse +she left the room. + +The "miserable sinners," as the prayer-book has it, whom Hemstead +had in fact made quite miserable for a time, grew more comfortable +after dinner; and by three o'clock, so far from employing hair-cloth +and scourgings, or even the mildest form of a crusade against +the weaknesses of the flesh, were all dozing and digesting in the +most luxurious manner. Lottie was the only "sinner" who remained +"miserable"; but she was not more "out of sorts" than the one who, +ex officio, as the world is prone to believe, Ought to have been +calm and serene upon his theological height above the clouds. + +As she entered the parlor with her velvet-like tread, she paused +a moment to observe the Boanerges of the morning. As he sat alone +before the fire, with his elbows upon his knees and his face buried +in his hands, he looked more like a weak mortal than a "son of +thunder." He did not look a bit like one who, with face as firm +and inflexible as God's purpose, was anxious to step into the fiery +furnace before it was ready. + +She drew a few steps nearer, and stood over him with a curious +expression on her face, which could so well mask or reveal her thought +as she chose. She had come downstairs in a state of irritable and +defiant protest against his doctrines, and with no little vexation +at him for being their mouth-piece. If she had found him calmly +pacing the floor, pondering on human frailty and folly, or if he +had been reading judicially a semi-sceptical work, that he might +demolish the irreverent author, she would have made an onslaught +whose vigor, if not logic, would have greatly disturbed his +equanimity and theological poise. But when she saw his attitude +of deep dejection, and when twice he sighed long and heavily, +her woman's nature was disarmed, and she began to think that his +doctrines were as hard upon him as upon the rest. Instinctively +she took his part against God, whose formative hand appeared too +heavy for them both. + +Therefore, instead of the hard, bitter words that she intended to +speak, she said, with a little quaver in her voice. "Mr. Hemstead, +I almost believe that you feel as bad as I do." + +When he looked up she was sure he felt worse. But he seemed to try +to forget his own trouble as he said kindly, "I'm sorry you feel +bad." + +"Well," said Lottie, sitting down on the opposite side of the hearth, +while the fire, on which Hemstead had thrown some damp green wood, +smoked dismally between them, "I do think you are a little sorry." + +"Can I help you in any way? I wish you knew how gladly I would do +so." + +"Yes, I believe that, too. You don't look a bit as if you would +like to throw me into a fiery furnace, and see if I would come out +a lump of gold or a good-for-nothing cinder." + +His only reply was a look of perplexed inquiry, but his gray eyes +were so kind, and yet withal so full of dejection, that she again +thought, "He is dreadfully inconsistent with his doctrines"; and +she said, with a trace of archness in her tone, "I think you look +as if you needed a little help and comfort yourself." + +He turned away his face, but after a moment said, "You never spoke +truer words, Miss Marsden." + +Then Lottie, who before had felt in such need of cheer herself, +forgot this need in her wish to help the great desponding man +before her, whose mingled weakness and strength surprised her more +and more. In a tone that would have softened flint she said, "I +wish I were good enough to help you." + +Then he perplexed her by saying, with sudden energy, "And I wish +you were bad enough." + +"What do you mean by that?" + +"Pardon me," he said hastily. "My words were figurative, and +exaggerated by deep feeling. I meant that I wished you, or some +one, could be human and charitable enough to understand me, and +help me to triumph over my weakness without condemning too severely." + +"Well," said Lottie, with a little sigh of satisfaction, "I think +I'm bad enough. I'm very human, anyway, and I think I'm in a mood +to be charitable to-day; for, if my conscience tells me the truth, +I'm awfully in need of charity myself." + +He looked up quickly and hopefully as he said, "Then my sermon did +you some good after all." + +"Not a bit of it. I can have plenty of charity for you, but hot a +particle for your sermon,--no more than I would for a thumb-screw +of the Inquisition." + +This unmeasured condemnation of the pet child of his brain,--a part +of himself as it were,--of which he had been so proud, cut to the +quick, and he flushed deeply and almost resentfully at first. But +he made no reply, and sat lowering at the smoky hearth while he +sank into a lower depth of despondency. Preaching was his chosen +life-work, and yet this was the verdict against his first great +sermon. + +Lottie looked hopelessly at him, not knowing what to say or do +next, and regretting that she had spoken so hastily and harshly. + +At last he sighed: "I don't understand it. I had spent months over +that sermon. I fear I have mistaken my calling." + +"Well," said Lottie, rather brusquely, "I wouldn't feel so forlorn +and miserable over that. I don't think it's much of a calling +anyway." + +"O Miss Marsden!" he ejaculated, in a shocked tone. + +"I'm sincere in what I say," she continued earnestly, "Please don't +misunderstand me. As far as I am a judge I think your sermon was +well written, and it certainly was delivered effectively; for, +though none of us liked it, we couldn't help listening. But its +strongest effect was to make me wish I was an infidel and, like +Mr. Harcourt, did not believe in anything. I honestly think that +it will be a very poor calling to go out among the poor people on +the frontier and preach such a gospel as you gave us this morning. +In the name of pity, haven't they enough to contend with now? +In addition to the scalping Indians, the border ruffians, the +grasshoppers, and grinding poverty, are you going to give them +a religion in which the furnace of affliction and the crucible of +trial flame as the centre? Poor creatures! I suppose they are in +hard and hot places most of the time, but don't make them think +that God puts them there, and that there is no chance to get out +till He is through with them. I can tell you beforehand, that people +are not going to get into the fiery furnace and commence having +a miserable time of it before they must. Let us be as comfortable +as we can, while we can. If you feel that you have mistaken your +calling--and I hope you have--I'm sure that father, at my request, +will find you a better one in New York." + +Poor Hemstead was as satisfied as Luther had been that this was +a temptation of the devil; but before him was no such apparition +as that against which the great reformer could hurl his ink-horn +without leaving a spot. + +With the lurid flash of Lucifer as he fell from heaven, the thought +passed through his disquieted mind, "And in New York I might win +the hand and heart of this beautiful girl." But every quality of +his soul frowned so darkly on this thought, which held out Lottie +Marsden as a bribe, that it soon skulked away. His mind reverted +to the main difficulty, and he said, "Surely, Miss Marsden, I did +not preach such a religion as you suggest." + +"You surely did, Mr. Hemstead, as I could soon prove to you. I am +glad you are so inconsistent a professor of your religion." + +"Am I an inconsistent professor?" he asked sadly. + +"Indeed you are," she replied; and both mischief and kindness lurked +in her eyes. "You don't live up to your doctrines at all." + +"Little wonder, then," he exclaimed, in bitter self-condemnation, +"that all turn from my teaching." + +She looked at him with a curious smile, as she thought, "What +a child he is! He is but wax in my hands. If he should marry a +cold-hearted, selfish woman, with a spice of petty, teasing malice +in her nature, she could sit down quietly at his hearth and torture +to death this overgrown man, with whole libraries in his brain. I +could wring his soul now, by making him think that he had lived so +unworthily that we could not listen to his most unworthy sermon." + +She led him out of his strong self-condemnation into equal perplexity, +by saying, "Unlike most of the world, you are so much better than +your creed as to be utterly inconsistent." + +He came and sat down near her, with such an appealing, helpless +look that she laughed outright. + +"Please don't laugh at me," he said, with the glimmer of a smile, +"because this to me is a more serious matter than you or any one +can understand." + +"I don't laugh unfeelingly, I assure you," she said earnestly. "I +never was more sincere in my life than I was this afternoon, but I +am one of those ridiculous mortals who cannot take things coolly, +and, as I said at dinner, there are times when I must either +laugh or cry. I never passed a more miserable day in my life than +yesterday. You, terrible magician, whom I have scarcely known for +a week, have awakened in my heart a giant; and yesterday and to-day +he has been shaking my soul with his mutterings and threatenings. +I could always manage my conscience before, and snub it into +quietness when it became unruly. But, as I said, from a whining +child it has suddenly grown into a threatening giant, more harsh +even than you the other evening. I went to church this morning, +hoping to find some comfort, some remedy; but, bad as is the disease, +the remedy seems far worse. I came downstairs this afternoon in no +amiable mood with you or your theology, but was disarmed by seeing +you in as bad a plight as myself. I fear your medicine will kill +both doctor and patient. During the past week you have been a strong, +genial man, with a human, genuine enjoyment of our every-day life. +If you were a little blue and puritanical, it was in a common-sense +way that I could understand, and your criticism of myself I think +in the main was just. Anyway, you made me wish I was a better girl, +and I was thinking how to begin; then came this awful Sunday, and +your awful sermon, which made me both fear and hate God, and want +to keep away from Him as far and as long as I can." + +"Your words perplex and sadden me beyond measure," said Hemstead. +"You belong to the very class that I had hoped to benefit,--those +who admit that they are without faith, but who are not so averse +to the truth but that they may be won by it. And yet you say that +the whole force of my sermon is to make you wish that you could be +an infidel. I cannot understand it. If I have mistaken my calling +I could not make you or any one comprehend the depth of my sorrow, or +the bitterness of my disappointment In the calling of the ministry +it has ever seemed to me that I could work a century with enthusiasm. +But in any other work I should be but a drudge, for my heart would +not be in it You know how young men often feel about these things. +One has a natural bent for the law, another for medicine, and +another for business or science. I had fondly hoped that I was +a predestined minister, and this hope has strengthened with years +and become inwrought with every fibre of my soul. I was willing +to commence in a very humble way, and anywhere that God would set +me to work; but if the effect of my preaching is to drive people +away from Him, the sooner I give it all up the better." + +"How different our tastes and plans for life are!" said Lottie, +musingly. "It appears strange that you should have set your heart +so strongly on what is so dismal to me. And yet such is the evident +depth of your regret that I do feel for you very much." + +Hemstead rose and took a few abrupt turns up and down the room. +Lottie watched him with increasing interest. He had shown her his +weakness, and she perceived that he would also show his strength. +After a moment he leaned on the mantel before her, and said in +quiet, decisive tones: + +"Miss Marsden, I have given you the right to speak to me very plainly. +I honestly wish light on this subject, and intend to settle this +question at the earliest moment possible. God knows I do not wish +to thrust myself unbidden into the sacred office. If I am not worthy +of the calling, then the sooner I find it out the better, and so +try to content myself with some humbler work. Not only from what +you have said, but from the remarks and aspect of others, I am +satisfied that my effort this morning was worse than a failure. +You have a mind of unusual vigor, and a good faculty in expressing +your thought. Won't you give me a keen, truthful analysis of the +whole service? It is to the world I am to preach; and I wish to +know just how what I say strikes the world. I know that Christian +doctrines have ever been unpalatable, but if there is something +in my presentation of them that is going to make them tenfold more +so, then I will be dumb. I would rather hide in a desert than drive +one soul from God, as you intimated. You were brave enough to let +me speak to you almost harshly, I fear; now see if I have not equal +courage. Say the very worst things that you believe true, and you +may help me very much towards coming to the most important decision +of my life." + +"O dear!" said Lottie. "I'm not fit to counsel a downy chicken. I +wish you didn't take this matter so to heart You look as if I might +be your executioner." + +"You can be my faithful surgeon and do some wholesome cutting." + +"Well," said Lottie, dismally. "I'd rather give you ether or +laughing-gas first." + +"That is more kind than wise," he replied, smiling; "in moral and +mental surgery the patient should have all his faculties." + +"There!" she exclaimed with animation, "we are illustrating by +contrast my chief complaint against your preaching. When you told +me my faults you did so gently, and appeared pained in giving me +pain; and now I am honestly sorry to say words that I know will hurt +you. And I know my words will hurt and discourage you; for if the +trouble were in you it might be remedied, but it is in what you +teach, and of course you teach what you believe, and won't say smooth +things, as I fear other ministers do sometimes. You represented +God calm and unchangeable as fate, as unrelenting and unimpassioned. +In this spirit you portrayed Him taking up one life after another +and putting it into the furnace of affliction, to see what He can +make of it. You illustrated His manner of doing this by the sculptor +with his cold, unfeeling marble, by the refiner with crude ore, +and by the surgeon, and you forgot to say that the last stupefies +his patients before cutting. You gave me the impression that as +soon as God set about making us better we should find ourselves in +trouble, and that, like certain school-masters of the old regime, +He had faith in nothing save the rod. You know the natural feeling +of children towards such pedagogues. How can we help feeling hi the +same way towards God? Then you presented God as full of inflexible +purposes, but the oftener you told us that we could not help +ourselves, and that there was no use in resisting, the move I felt +like resisting. The idea of cutting and carving character out of +quivering human hearts as if they were marble! The idea of putting +one, like a lump of ore, into a crucible, and then coolly sitting +by to see what becomes of it! I'm not a lump of ore, and if I need +harsh treatment I want it done sympathetically, feelingly, or I +shall become a Tartar instead of a saint. The tears in your eyes +the other night, Mr. Hemstead, did me more good than all your wise +words." + +Hemstead looked as if a light were dawning upon him. + +"You spoke of this life," continued Lottie, "as if it were nothing, +and as if God didn't care--indeed approved of our having a hard +time here, that we might be more sure of a good time hereafter. +You spoke of God as jealously watching, lest we should love earthly +friends more than Him, and said that He was bound to be first, if +He had to snatch away everything that we loved most. Therefore, +even the mother must keep chilling her natural love for her child, +or else God will make the innocent little thing suffer and die, +just to give the mother a lesson. You said that we should hold all +earthly possessions in fear and trembling, and that the harsher +our experiences were, here, the better, if they only wean us from +earth. If this is true, we had better have no possessions and form +no ties. The monks and nuns are right. Let us shut ourselves up, +and wear hair-cloth instead of merino, and catch our death of cold +by moping around bare-foot at all unseasonable hours. All you said +may be good religion, but it's mighty poor sense, and very unnatural." + +Hemstead shaded his burning face with his hands. + +"There, I knew I should hurt you. No doubt I seem very irreverent, +but you have no idea how I am restraining myself for your sake. I'm +just that provoked and indignant--Well, well, what's the use? As +you said, we can't help ourselves, and into the fiery furnace Lottie +Marsden will go before long; only there will be nothing left of me +but a little cinder. Why couldn't the Being you call all-wise and +all-powerful, devise some nicer way, one more in accordance with +the nature He has given us? Suppose heaven is a grander place than +this world, that is no good reason for hating the world. This earth +is our present home, and it looks sensible that we should make the +most of it, and enjoy ourselves in it. Suppose my father should +say, 'Lottie, I want you to hate and despise your present home, +because in five years I'm going to give you a palace; and if you +can only fall downstairs once or twice, and have a fit of illness +so as to get weaned from it, I shall be glad.' + +"How strangely and monstrously unnatural all that kind of talk is +when you come to put it into plain English!" proceeded Lottie after +a moment, tapping the floor impatiently with her foot. "If you must +preach such doctrines as you did this morning, I am sorry for you; +and, if they are true, I am sorry for the world, myself included. +The trouble is not in you. I am sure you can make almost an orator +in time, if you can get a theme that won't give men the shivers, +and set their teeth on edge. I never understood religion and never +liked it; and now that I do begin to understand it, I like it less +than ever." + +Hemstead sat down in his chair,--indeed he sank into it, and the +face he turned toward her was white and full of pain. + +"Miss Marsden," he said slowly, "I fear I have given you, and all +who heard me, a very false impression of God and Christianity; and +yet I thought I was speaking the truth." + +"O, I knew you were honest. There isn't a dishonest fibre in your +nature; but I wish you were all wrong. O, how delighted I should +be if you were a heretic without knowing it, and we could find out +a religion that wouldn't make one's blood run cold to think of it!" + +"But my religion does me good, Miss Marsden. It cheers, sustains, +and strengthens me." + +"Now you see how inconsistent you are. You preach one thing, and +feel and act another." + +"I begin to see how I was misled in my sermon, and why what I said +was so repugnant to you; and yet my mind is confused. It still +appears to me that I developed the thought of the text. Christ +said, 'I am glad I was not there, to the intent ye may believe.' +These words would seem to show that He regarded our transient pains +as of very secondary importance compared with the accomplishment +of His great purposes. Why did He not go to Bethany at once, if it +were not so?" + +"Well, it's an awful text, or you give it an awful interpretation. +Let me take the thought out of the realm of theology or religion, +and bring it down to practical life. Suppose you go to New York +to-morrow and remain a few days, and to-morrow night the house +burns up, and I with it. Would your first thought be, 'I am glad I +was not there to put out the fire or to rescue that naughty girl, +Lottie Marsden, because her sudden death, for which she was all +unprepared, will be a warning to many, and result in great good'? +I may be wrong, Mr. Hemstead, but I think you would get pretty well +scorched before you would permit even such a guy as I am to become +a warning to other naughty girls." + +"I can't imagine myself leaving you in danger," said Hemstead, with +a look that brought the blood into Lottie's face. + +"I thought you would feel so," she continued heartily. "You +can preach awfully against sinners, but when you come to put your +doctrines in practice, you say as you did to me, 'I wish I could bear +all for you.' Heaven knows I'm selfish enough, but I can at least +understand and appreciate generous and kindly sympathy, and could +be won by it. But this cool and inflexible elaboration of character, +where only the end is considered, and all our timid shrinking and +human weakness are ignored,--this austere asceticism which despises +the present world and life,--is to me unnatural and monstrous. +I confess I never read the Bible very much, and have not listened +when it was read. I have half forgotten the story of Lazarus. You +left off where Lazarus was in his grave, and Christ was glad He +was not there to prevent his death. But that was not all the story. +I think, if I remember rightly, Christ raised him to life. Come, +get a Bible, and let us read the whole story, and see if we cannot +find something that will not make the word 'gospel' a mockery." + +"Won't you read it?" asked Hemstead, humbly, handing her the Bible. + +"Yes, if you wish me to, though it seems very funny that I should +be reading the Bible to you." + +"I begin to have a hope that you will teach me more than I ever +learned from it before," he replied earnestly. + +As in sweet, unaffected, girlish tones she read the ancient story +of human suffering and sorrow, the scenes passed in seeming reality +before the student. He was intensely excited, though so quiet. When +one with a strong mind recognizes that he is approaching a crisis +in life, there is an awe that calms and controls. Lottie, with her +intense vitality, could arouse even a sluggish nature. But to earnest +Hemstead, with his vivid fancy, and large faith, this beautiful +but erratic creature reading the neglected Bible, to find for him +a sweeter and sunnier gospel than he had preached, seemed a special +providence that presaged more than he had dared to conjecture; and +he listened as one who expected a new revelation. + +Indeed his darkness was losing its opaqueness. Rays of light +were quivering through it. Her plain and bitter words of protest +against his sermon had already shown him, in a measure, that he had +exaggerated, in his first crude sermonizing, one truth, and left +out the balancing and correcting truth. Familiar with all the story +of Lazarus, his mind travelled beyond the reader, and with mingled +joy and self-condemnation he already began to see how he had +misrepresented the God of Love. With intense eagerness he watched +and waited to see the effect of the complete story on Lottie's +mind. + +When she came to the words, "Jesus said unto her, _I_ am the +resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were +dead yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me +shall never die,"--she stopped and said, "This is very remarkable +language. What does it mean?" + +"Read on; read to the end," he urged. + +She caught his eager expectancy, and read, with an absorbing +interest, the truth that now seemed stranger than any fiction. + +When she reached the words, "He groaned in spirit, and was troubled," +she raised her eyes in a quick glance of inquiry. + +"Read on," said Hemstead, in breathless interest. + +A moment later, the shortest verse in the Bible was upon her lips. +Then she ceased reading aloud, and the student saw her eyes hastily, +as if she were unable to endure the momentary delay of pronunciation, +scanning the story to its end. + +"Mr. Hemstead," she asked excitedly, "why did Jesus weep and groan, +when in a few moments Lazarus would be alive, and the scene of +mourning be changed to one of joy?" + +With tears in his eyes, he replied, "There is One guiding you--guiding +us both--who can answer that question better than I." + +"We believe that Jesus Christ is God, do we not?" she half mused, +half questioned, her brows contracting with intense thought. + +"Yes," he said reverently. + +"Why, Mr. Hemstead, don't you see--don't you see? This Being who +is so keenly sympathetic, so tenderly alive to a spene of sorrow, +that He weeps and groans, though knowing that joy is coming in a +moment, is not the calm, passionless, inflexible God you chilled +our hearts with this morning. Why, this is the very extravagance +of tender-heartedness. This is a gentleness that I can scarcely +understand. What mother, even, would first weep with her children +over a sorrow that she was about to remove with a word! And yet this +all-powerful Jesus, who can raise the dead to life, seems to cry +just because the others do,--just as if He couldn't help it,--just +as dear, good Auntie Jane's eyes moisten when she hears of any one +in trouble. Mr. Hemstead, there is surely a mistake somewhere. +How do you reconcile this Christ with the one you presented this +morning?" + +"I don't, and cannot." + +"And yet He did say to His disciples, 'I am glad I was not there,'" +continued Lottie, in deep perplexity. + +Hemstead paced the room excitedly a few minutes, and then exclaimed, +"It's growing as clear and beautiful as the light." + +"It seems to me flat contradiction," said Lottie, dejectedly. +"There are the words, 'I am glad I was not there '; and there is +the fact that He let Lazarus die; and there also are the facts of +His weeping and raising Lazarus: and, now I think of it, He performed +many miracles equally kind, and helped and encouraged all sorts of +people." + +"Certainly He did," cried Hemstead. "Blind idiot that I was in +developing a crude theological idea of my own, instead of simply +presenting the God of the Bible! I can never thank you enough, Miss +Marsden, for your strong good sense that has dissipated my fog-bank +of words. I think I see the way into light. You have placed a clew +in my hands which I trust will lead, not only me, but others into +peace. I fear I did present to you a calm, unimpassioned, inflexible +Being this morning,--a God of purposes and decrees and remorseless +will; and I have felt before that this was the God of theology and +religious philosophy, rather than the God of the Bible. Your words +have shown me that I gave you a crude and one-sided view. Thoughts +are thronging so upon my mind that I am confused, but it comes to +me with almost the force of an inspiration that Christ's tears of +sympathy form the key to the whole Bible." + +"Well," said Lottie, in a low tone, "I can see how they might become +the key to my heart. Come, Mr. Hemstead, I have been a heathen up +to this time; and I hope you have been a heretic. If you can explain +the Bible in accordance with Christ's tears, as He wept, when the +kindest man living would have smiled, in view of the change so soon +to occur,--then preach by all means. That is the kind of gospel we +want. If I could believe that God felt with, and for, his creatures +as tenderly as that, it seems to me that I could go to Him as +naturally as I ever went to Auntie Jane in my troubles." + +Hemstead was pacing the room, as was his custom when excited. His +face was aglow with earnest, elevating thoughts. His ungainliness +had utterly vanished; and Lottie acknowledged that she had never +seen a nobler-looking man. She felt that perhaps they were both on +the threshold of a larger and richer life than they had ever known +before. She saw dimly, as through a mist, that which her heart +longed to believe,--the truth that God does care about His earthly +children,--that He was not to her a mere shaping force or power, +but a tender, gentle-hearted helper. Therefore she waited eagerly +and hopefully for Hemstead to speak. + +But he felt that the glad tumult in his mind rendered him unfit to +be her guide just then, and therefore said: "Miss Marsden, I want +to think calmly and carefully over what you have said. I want +to take this briefest of all texts, 'Jesus wept,' as a lamp in my +hand, and with it explore the rest of the Bible. Already it seems +that it may be like carrying a light into a treasure vault, and +that where before was darkness, gems and riches now will glitter." + +"And I, who have had the good fortune to strike the light for you, +am in the mean time to sit outside of the 'treasure vault,' and +perhaps neither see nor get any of the 'gems.' I don't agree at +all to your gloating alone over what may be discovered." + +"And can you think I would wish to 'gloat alone'?" said Hemstead, +reddening. "It will be my chief joy to bring back all I find to +you." + +"I'm not that kind of a girl," said Lottie, with a little emphatic +gesture. "If I wanted something from the top of a mountain, I +would not send a man for it, but would go with him after it. This +helpless waiting, or languid looking on, while men do everything +for us, is as absurd in one direction as the Indian custom of making +the squaw do all the hard work in another. I don't see why we +can't take this genial little lamp of a text, and do some exploring +together. I will hold the lamp, and you do the looking. Here is the +Bible, and there is your seat beside this dismal, smoking fire. I +fear you have treated it as you did us this morning,--put on green +wood." + +"I think you are right in both cases," he said, his telltale color +again suddenly rising. + +"No matter, it was good wood in both cases, as you will see when +it becomes ripe and dry." + +"It will never do for me to become dry as a preacher, Miss Marsden." + +"Yes, it will in my sense, for then you will kindle more easily, +and therefore kindle others. But come, I am holding the lamp, 'Jesus +wept.' Every thing you can find in the Bible that will confirm the +hope of God's sympathy--that He cares for us as we are, with all +our faults and weaknesses--will be most welcome." + +Lottie was so positive and determined, and her manner so irresistible, +that Hemstead had no thought, save that of compliance. She had that +piquant imperiousness to which men are willing slaves when it is +manifested graciously, and by a pretty woman. He was like a ship +caught in a gale, and there was nothing to do but scud before it. +At the same time, it seemed that she was driving him swiftly towards +the haven and rest of a better and broader faith. + +Therefore he sat down by the dismal, smoky hearth, but turned +expectantly to her face, which, in contrast, was all aflame with +hope and interest. + +"The impression grows upon me," he said, "that you are being guided, +and therefore you shall guide me." + +"I want to settle the question," she replied, "whether I can love +and trust God; or whether, as I feared this morning, I must dread +and almost hate Him. It seems to me that the only thing religion +does for Cousin Bel is to make her uncomfortable. If what you told +us, and what she experiences, is true religion, then I shall ignore +it and forget all about it as long as I can,--till God commences +with me, and puts me by way of trial into the fiery furnace of +affliction. I fear only a cinder would be the result. But if the +natural explanation of these two words, 'Jesus wept,' is true, +then God is kinder, gentler, and more sympathetic than any human +friend. Prove to me that the One who, out of pure tender-heartedness, +cried just because others around Him were crying, though even about +to remove the cause of their sorrow, is the God of the Bible, and +I will thank you, with lasting and unmeasured gratitude. Then your +teaching will be a gospel,--good news in very truth. You say the +Old and New Testaments both make one Bible, do you not?" + +"Yes." + +"Well it is the Old Testament that I most dread. It is so full +of wars and bloodshed, and strange, stern rites. And then the old +prophets say such awful things! Still, I admit that it's all very +vague and dim in my mind. Can you find anything in the Old Testament +that corresponds with the words 'Jesus wept'?" + +The student rapidly turned the leaves of the large Bible upon his +lap, and read: + +"Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them +that fear Him. + +"For He knoweth our frame: He remembereth that we are dust." + +"That fits like light to the eye," exclaimed Lottie, with exultation. +"What becomes of your sermon, Mr. Hemstead, in view of such texts? +Truth is not contradictory." + +"You shall see in a moment, Miss Marsden what becomes of my sermon," +and he hastily left the room. + +While Lottie was wondering at his action, he returned and threw +the manuscript on the hearth. But while the green wood had been +smoking so dismally, it had also dried and kindled; and Hemstead's +heavy sermon, so far from quenching the rising flame, seemed just +the encouragement needed to develop a cheerful blaze, in the midst +of which it perished, like a narrow, sour, but sincere, well-meaning +old martyr of former days. + +In committing this unripe fruit of his brain--his heart had dictated +but little of it--to the flames, Hemstead would have felt, a few +hours earlier, as a Hindu mother might when casting her child to +the crocodiles of the Ganges. Now with exultation he saw it shrivel, +as its teachings had shrivelled within his own mind a little before. + +"Like as a father pitieth his children," was a better gospel than +"like as a sculptor chisels his marble," or "like as a surgeon cuts +remorselessly with pulse unquickened, though the patient writhes." + +Preacher and pagan stood together by the hearth, and saw perish the +Gospel of Fear--of gloomy asceticism--which for so many centuries, +in dim, damp cloisters and stony cells has chilled the heart and +quenched the spirit. + +And yet, to-day, in the broad light of Bible lands, and in the +midst of the wholesome and suggestive duties of family life, do not +many, under false teachings like that of Hemstead's sermon, find +spiritual paths as dark and painful as those of ascetics who made +self-mortification the business of life? Christ spake truly when +He said, "Men love darkness rather than light." We fill the service +of the Author of Light with gloom. The hermit thought he could best +serve God in the chill and dimness of a cave; and the anchorite's +cave has been the type of our shadowy, vault-like churches, and of +the worshippers' experience ever since. + +God is too wise and good to teach a religion utterly repugnant and +contradictory to the nature He has given us. A child's hand may +lead a multitude; a giant's strength can drive but few. + +Christ's tears had fallen on the ice in Lottie's heart, and melted +it away. It was now tender, receptive, ready for the seeds of truth. +Hemstead's sermon had only hardened it. + +Like the Hebrew mothers with their little children, she had pushed +her way through frowning doctrines and stately attributes that +appeared to encompass God, as did the rebuking disciples of old +their gentle Master; and there seemed One before her who, like Jesus, +was ready to take her in His arms and lavish upon her tenderness +without limit. + +The glow of the burning sermon lighted up the faces of the Preacher +and one who could no longer be called a Pagan, for she stood before +the altar of "the unknown God," and was strongly inclined to place +her heart upon it. She believed, though as yet she did not trust. +She understood but little of Bible truth, yet it was no longer a +repellent darkness, but rather a luminous haze against which Jesus +stood distinctly, tearful from sympathy. + +As the obnoxious sermon sank into ashes, Hemstead turned and took +Lottie's hand with a pressure that made it ache for hours after, and +said: "Now you have seen what has become of my sermon and many of +my old beliefs. The furnace of God's discipline shall no longer, +as you have said, flame as the lurid centre of my Gospel; but +Jesus Christ, as you have discovered Him, the embodiment of love +and sympathy, shall be its centre." + +With a smile upon her lips, but with tears in her eyes, Lottie +replied, "And such a gospel would win even the border ruffians. +Yes," she added hesitatingly, "I half believe it might win even +such a little pagan as Lottie Marsden." + +Just then a broad ray of light glinted into the room, and +illuminated Lottie's face into such marvellous beauty that Hemstead +was spell-bound. He was too intent on watching her to be aware that +the ray rested on him also; but she exclaimed: "O Mr. Hemstead! +you don't know how your face is lighted up by the setting sun. If +I believed in omens, I should know that your successful work will +be out on the frontier,--in the West, whence comes, after this dreary +day, such a beautiful light, which suggests, I hope, the fame and +glory you are to win there." + +"This light from the West falls equally upon you," he said impulsively. + +There was a sudden crimson in her face, deeper than that caused by +the setting sun. + +She gave him a quick, shy glance, to gather his meaning, but said, +"Omens are only half-truths, I have heard." + +Under a vague but strong impulse he had spoken foolishly, he thought; +and suggested that, in seeking to change her character, his motive +in part might be a presumptuous hope of his own. Therefore a deeper +flush crimsoned his face; but he said quietly: "I believe that, in +our day, omens are will-of-the-wisps of the imagination. What need +is there of such fitful lights, when the sun of God's truth is +shining in this Bible? Shall we explore farther?" + +Again they sat down and sought to reconcile the apparently conflicting +truths of God's mercy and justice,--of His severity and unutterable +tenderness. Proofs of both were found upon the page of inspiration +"as thick as leaves in Vallombrosa." It was clearly evident that +God would make no terms with sin, whatever He might do for the +sinner. But the Divine man, as He stands between justice and the +erring, appeared to solve the problem. And if God's discipline was +at times severe, and Christ was glad when faith-inspiring sorrow +came, it was also seen that He could weep with the weak human +children who cried under the rod, though heaven might result from +the transient pain. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +THE DAWNING LIGHT. + + + + + +Some little time before the supper-bell rang, De Forrest sauntered +in, and witnessed a scene that both surprised and puzzled him. +And yet a lover would scarcely have found, in the quiet and pretty +picture that the parlor and its occupants made, any ground for +jealousy. Hemstead was at the centre-table, under the now-lighted +chandelier, reading aloud from the Bible. Lottie sat by the hearth, +the firelight playing upon an unusually grave and thoughtful face. + +"Well," he exclaimed, "you look for all the world like an old +married couple keeping Sunday together." + +Of course Hemstead flushed. But why should Lottie's color grow richer +than the ruddy fire-light warranted? She knew she was blushing, +and the fact puzzled her, for it was a new experience to find the +blood flying into her face, and her heart in a sudden flutter. + +She was also excessively annoyed at De Forrest's intrusion, for such +it seemed, though he had an equal right to the parlor with herself. +We usually judge unjustly, in proportion as we feel strongly. + +But the habit of her old, insincere life swayed her, and she said +lightly, "If, instead of dozing away the whole afternoon, you would +follow Mr. Hemstead's example and read the Bible, you would be the +better for it." + +"I would have read to you all the afternoon, if you had given +me a chance, and even from the Bible if you had asked for it," De +Forrest replied, with an injured air. + +"Well, you see Mr. Hemstead is a predestined missionary, and he no +doubt thought, and correctly too, that he would never find a truer +object of missionary effort than myself; so I have obtained a better +knowledge of the Bible this afternoon than ever before." + +They were now joined by others, and the conversation became general. +Soon after they went out to supper. + +The depression of the sermon appeared to have passed from the rest, +as well as from Lottie and Hemstead, though for different reasons. +The latter had gone out of themselves toward God, and had found +Him the source of light and cheer. The others had forgotten Him, +and still remained in the dim, chill grottos of their unbelief, +illumining their darkness by such artificial and earth-lit tapers +as the occasion offered. Mrs. Marchmont's apartments were cosey +and elegant, the supper was inviting, the ruddy wood-fire and easy +chairs suggested luxurious comfort; and why should they not be +comfortable, and quietly forget their dismal thoughts about God, and +the self-denial of the Cross? The current of ordinary and worldly +life, which Hemstead's sincere but mistaken words had rudely +interrupted, now began to flow on as quietly and smoothly as before. + +But with Lottie it was very different, and the tides of her life +seemed seeking new channels. + +Bel, and to a certain extent the others, noted peculiarities in +her manner and that of Hemstead. Her moodiness was gone, but in +its place was not her old levity. When Moses came down from the +presence of God, his face shone so that he was compelled to veil +its brightness; and it has ever seemed true that nearness to God and +His truth gives spiritual light and attractiveness to the plainest +features. + +Lottie was more than beautiful that evening. She was radiant. Like +a sunrise in June, two forms of pure, ennobling love were dawning +in her heart; and the first, faint, unrecognized emotions illumined +her face strangely at times. Her manner was unusually gentle, and +while responding to the general conversation she had many moments +of abstraction, and was evidently carrying on a chain of thought +very different from that appearing upon the surface of their +table-talk. But all remembered that Lottie abounded in moods, and +she was what the commonplace call "an odd girl." + +But why Hemstead, after his gloom and chagrin at dinner, should now +be beaming, was not so clear. Bel thought, "The poor moth! Lottie +has been dazzling him with her dangerous smiles. It's a shame." + +After supper Harcourt appeared, and sacred music was in order. +Even De Forrest and Addie joined in this with considerable zest. +It was the proper, and about the only thing that could be done on a +Sabbath evening. The most irreligious feel better for the occasional +indulgence of a little religious sentimentality. When the aesthetic +element is supreme, and thorny self-denial absent, devotion is +quite attractive to average humanity. Moreover the dwarfed spiritual +nature of the most materialistic often craves its natural sustenance; +and Sabbath evening at times suggests to the worldly that which alone +can satisfy. The "Sun of Righteousness" sheds a pale, reflected ray +upon them; but this is better than utter darkness, and may lure +forward where the Divine smile will beam fully upon them. Do not +let us undervalue Sunday evening sentiment and sacred music, even +though occurring where there was a dance yesterday, and where there +will be a revel to-morrow. There must always be a first support on +which the grovelling vine can begin to climb heavenward. + +Though sentiment, like pale moonlight, causes no ripe and wholesome +growth, it is better than darkness, and is proof that the vivifying +light is shining somewhere. + +In the case of Hemstead, however, the words of praise and prayer +composing the hymns sung were the intelligent utterances of a +believing heart to the natural object of its faith and devotion. + +Lottie was not much given to sentiment, even in religion, and the +sacred words, a week before, would have come from her lips only, +while she thought of other things; but now she was surprised to +find how her heart was stirred by them, and how, from being empty +phrases, they were becoming full of beautiful meaning. + +That was a memorable Sabbath evening to her. It seemed as if within +her old, earth-born, material life, a subtile spiritual one had +been kindled, which illumined and glorified everything. + +She felt as if endowed with a new sense, by means of which she was +becoming dimly conscious of a new and different world. She was more +than happy: she was thrilling with strange and mysterious joy, and +was elated beyond measure, as if Christian principle and heaven +were already won; as many a pilgrim is happier before the quickly +coming fall into the "Slough of Despond" than ever again until +within the gates of the Celestial City. + +Lottie's flame-like spirit was not prone to take anything coolly; +and now that her soul was kindled by fire from heaven, and in +addition her whole nature awakened by the as yet unrecognized, but +strongest of earthly forces,--the natural love of her heart for +the one to whom only had been given the power to inspire it, little +wonder that her but half-suppressed excitement was surprising both +to herself and others,--little wonder that she was more radiant +than ever she had been upon the gayest and most brilliant occasions. + +There was nothing unnatural in her experience. She had looked upon +the face of Him who is the light and life of the world. Let her +enjoy the brief ecstasy. Never chill the soul that is thrilling with +the first strong pulses of spiritual life by discouraging doubts. +Remind such, if you will, that now, as with the disciples of old, +the moments on the Mount of Transfiguration are few, and the days +of work and self-denial on the lowly plain many. But do not fail to +close your homily with the assurance that the work and self-denial +are of earth, while the illumined mount is the type of an eternal +heaven. + +The evening was passing. While devotion burned more brightly, sentiment +was flickering out. The others were growing weary. Hemstead had +the tact to see this, and he also wished to be alone that he might +think over the bewildering experiences of the day. Therefore he +suggested that they close with Ray Palmer's beautiful hymn, that +from the first moment of faith, until faith's fruition, is the +appropriate language of those who accept of God's remedy for evil. + + + "My faith looks up to Thee, + Thou Lamb of Calvary, + Saviour divine. + Now hear me while I pray, + Take all my guilt away, + O, let me from this day + Be wholly Thine." + + +He hoped that with Lottie it might crown the teachings of the day, +and fix her thoughts on the true source of help. + +This hope found a richer fulfilment than he expected, for to her +awakened spirit the lines seemed inspired to express her deepest +need. As the last words trembled from her lips the rush of feeling +was too strong for repression, and she impetuously left the room. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +MISUNDERSTOOD. + + + + + +Lottie was conscious of a strange lightness of heart when she +awoke on the morrow. It seemed as if her life had been unexpectedly +enriched. She could not understand it, nor did she seek to, being +contented with the fact that she was happy. She had always been +seeking her own enjoyment, and now she was happier than ever before. +She was not a philosopher who must analyze everything. She widely +differed from some prudent people who must take an emotion to pieces, +and resolve it into its original elements, and thus be sure that +it is properly caused and wholesome before enjoying it. Many seem +to partake of life's pleasures as did the members of the royal +family of their feasts, in the days of the ancient Roman empire, +when it was feared that poison lurked in every dish. + +We have seen, however, that Lottie was not morbidly conscientious. +She had gathered honey everywhere, and often in spite of conscience's +protest. But now, for a rarity, conscience appeared with, and not +against her. She was satisfied with the fact that she felt better +than ever before; and the majority of even somewhat experienced +Christians ask, as their ground of confidence, not "What is truth?" +"What has God promised?"--but, "How do I feel to-day?" Little +wonder, then, if inexperienced Lottie, with everything to learn, +was content with being happy. + +She had always looked upon religion as a painful necessity at some +remote and desperate emergency of the future; but, after the hours +spent with Hemstead, it seemed a source of joy beyond all the +pleasures of her highly favored life. She was like one who had +been living in the glare of artificial light, brilliant enough, it +is true, but who had suddenly come out into the natural sunshine, +and found it warmer, sweeter,--in brief, just what she craved and +needed. + +The distrust of these exalted and emotional states is general, and +often well-founded, especially when experienced by such mercurial +temperaments as that of Lottie Marsden. And when it is remembered +that her ideas of true religion were of the vaguest kind, the +conservative will think, "Whatever may take place in a book, the +morning dew would be the type of all this feeling in real life." + +And this would be true--alas, it is true of multitudes--had she +been stirred by merely human causes, as sympathetic excitement, +or appeals to her feelings or fears. But, as we have said before, +she had looked upon the face of the Son of God. Circumstances, and +the story of Lazarus, had concentrated her mind on Jesus Christ, +as in that old and touching record He stands before the world in +one of His most winning attitudes. She did not understand how she +connected with Him the hope and happiness she felt. She was no doubt +like many who, eighteen centuries ago, knew little of Christ, but +in the midst of their pain and anguish suddenly felt his healing +touch, and exulted with great joy, forgetting that only one disease had +been cured, or one trouble banished, and that they still remained +in a world where pain and trouble threatened to the very end. +But here was the ground of hope for those whom Jesus touched, as +well as for Lottie: in curing one evil, He had proved His power +and willingness to remove every evil, and when pain of body and +the suffering of guilt again oppressed, the true source of help +was known, and so Christ eventually became their Good Physician, +intrusted with the entire care of their spiritual health. + +No doubt at the time of Christ many a heart was stirred and borne +heavenward, on the wings of strong emotion, by the eloquence of +some gifted rabbi, by a gorgeous ceremonial in the Temple, or by +the chantings of the multitudinous priests. But the emotions passed +away, as they do now; and men and women relapsed into their old, +material, selfish lives. They may have looked back with regret +upon the ecstasy that once thrilled them, and wished that it could +always have been maintained; but they found this impossible. So, +now, the emotion goes, and the combinations that once produced it +never return, or fail to inspire it again. Looking to themselves +and their own feelings,--to inadequate means of help,--such persons +are of course disappointed; and so gradually grow hard and legal, +or apathetic and unbelieving. When in trouble, when the natural +springs of life begin to fail, there seems no real and practical +help. + +If human experience proves anything it is that every life needs +the personal and practical help-the direct touch and word--of One +who is Divinely powerful and Divinely patient. + +Many days of folly--of sin, sorrow, and deep despondency--are +before Lottie still; but she has seen her God weeping from sympathy +with weak humanity, and a moment later rescuing from the hopeless +extremity of death and corruption. Here is not some vague thing +like a half-forgotten emotion or an exalted religious experience +in which to trust, but One who, instead of being a vanished, +half-forgotten sensation, a philosophy, or even a sound creed and +a logical doctrine, is a living personal and powerful Friend, who +can put forth His hand and sustain, as He did the timid Apostle +who was sinking in the threatening waves. + +The temple of Lottie's faith was yet to be built; but she had been +so fortunate as to commence with the true "corner stone." + +During the morning hours she was the object of considerable and +perplexed thought on the part of several of the household. There +was in her face the sweet spiritual radiance of the evening before, +and the same gentleness and considerateness of manner marked her +action. Mrs. Marchmont and her daughter said, "It is one of Lottie's +moods." Bel surmised that she was a little sentimental over Hemstead, +and was indignant that she should herself indulge, and awake in the +student, feelings that doubtless, on Lottie's part, would end with +the visit. As for De Forrest, he was thoroughly puzzled. The idea +that Hemstead could be anything to her was perfectly preposterous; +and as for religion, that was a decorous thing of form and ceremonial +pertaining to Sunday, and this was Monday. And yet, from some cause, +Lottie seemed different from her old self. + +He could not complain, however, for she had never been kinder to +him; and if her eyes did seek Hemstead's face rather often, she +could see nothing there which for a moment could compare with his +own handsome features. He also concluded that it was a "mood"; but +liked the new and gentle Lottie quite as well as the piquant, and +often rather brusque girl of other days. + +But to Hemstead, as with chatting and reading they whiled away +the morning hours around the parlor fire, Lottie was the bright +particular star. Her face, now transfigured in its spiritual light, +captivated his beauty-loving soul; while her words and manner +suggested the hope that she, with himself, had found her way into +the Holy of Holies. If this could ever be true, he felt that he +could go to his work in the Western wilds, content and grateful, +and that a long and toilsome life would be illumined by this dear +memory. He, too, like Lottie, was on the Mount; but both would soon +have to come down to the plain where the "multitude" was, and some +of them "lunatic"; and when in the plain they would be very much +like the multitude. + +After dinner, in compliance with an invitation from Dr. Beams, +they all went over to the church, to aid in decorating it with +evergreens. They found Miss Martell and several other ladies at +work; also a sprinkling of gentlemen and a few young men who were +on the border line between boys and beaux, and who were frequently +passing from one character to the other. + +Miss Martell greeted Hemstead more cordially than she did any of +the others in the party from Mrs. Marchmont's; and seemed slightly +surprised at Lottie's gentle and hearty salutation. + +De Forrest remained closely at the latter's side, but Hemstead +noted with deep and secret satisfaction that there was in her +grave kindness nothing responsive to his constant and lover-like +attention. Her brow often contracted, as if his sentiment annoyed +her, and she treated him as one who, for some reason, must be borne +with patiently. + +"She is probably engaged, but is ceasing to love him," he thought. +"She never could have respected him, and now be has forfeited whatever +affection she may have had. Still she feels that she is chained +to him, and must endure the life-long martyrdom of an ill-mated +marriage"; and his heart overflowed with a great pity. + +It did not occur to him that he was a miracle of disinterestedness +when Lottie was concerned; and that her troubles moved him more than +the woes of all the world beside. Like many another life-voyager, +with hand upon the helm, he thought that he was directing his course, +when in feet a strong and subtile current was sweeping him he not +whither. + +He and Lottie did not have much to say to each but their eyes +often met, and at times, in his frank impulsiveness, he looked at +her so earnestly and sympathetically that she turned away to hide +her heightened color. She was becoming conscious, with a secret +wonder, that he, as no man ever before, had the power to cause her +blood to ebb and flow in the most unaccountable manner. + +A short time after their arrival he wandered over to the side of the +chapel where Miss Martell was working, and she seemingly fascinated +him. They apparently became so absorbed in each other's words as +to think of no one else, and Lottie grew pale and quiet, feeling, +in the mean time, an unreasonable resentment towards Miss Martell. +If Lottie has received a little grace, she is, and ever will be, +the natural possessor of abundance of human nature. Is this pale +and silent girl the one whose cheeks, a little before, were aflame, +and every nerve tingling with the most unwonted sensations, and +for no better reason apparently than that Hemstead had seen her +tugging at a fibrous spray of hemlock, and had severed it with his +knife? That was all the others had seen; but there was a great deal +more, for in the act their hands had touched, and both had seemed +in a positive state in the power to give, and in the negative +in readiness to receive, a subtile influence, compared with which +electricity is a slow and material agent. And he had lifted his +large gray eyes to hers full of--he did not realize what, nor did +she--but the cause was there, and the effect followed. + +But now, with secret uneasiness, Lottie notes that he seems oblivious +of her in his eager talk with Miss Martell. + +Soon after joining the latter, Hemstead had said, in his +straightforward manner, "You intimated to Mr. Harcourt yesterday +that you were 'sorry he heard my sermon.'" + +With a little embarrassment she replied, "I do not think that Mr. +Harcourt was in the right condition of mind to be benefited by your +line of thought." + +"Do you think that any one could be benefited by it?" + +She was a little puzzled. Was he, like some young clergy-men she +had known, eager for a few crumbs of praise for his first crude +efforts? She was not one to give any faint and hollow commendation, +and yet she did not wish to hurt his feelings. But her reply had +a tinge of satire in it, for she had no patience with the weakness +of vanity. + +"I will hardly venture an opinion. You, who have given so much time +and thought to these subjects, ought to be a better judge than I." + +He felt, rather than saw, the delicate barb, and flushed slightly +as he replied, "I admit that perhaps I ought to be, but whether +I am or not, is quite another question. I am sure that your views +upon the subjects treated yesterday are far truer than mine were. +The wretched, heretical sermon that I inflicted upon you has already +justly suffered an auto da fe. Before the day was over I saw that +instead of preaching the gospel I had been elaborating, from a +partial premise, a crude view of my own. I shall no longer preach, +that is, if I preach at all, as if human nature were the raw material +which God intended to work up without any regard to the process, +or how much refuse there was, or what became of it. Is not Christ +weeping from sympathy at the grave of Lazarus a true manifestation +of God's feeling toward us?" + +"Mr. Hemstead," Miss Martell exclaimed, "I cannot tell you how glad +I am to know your change of views. Most emphatically I say yes to +your question. God is seeking to develop my character; only He is +more patient and gentle than my good, kind father. But why do you +say, 'If I preach at all'?" + +His head bowed in honest humility, as he replied, in a low tone, +"I often doubt whether I am worthy,--whether I am called." + +She now saw that she had misjudged him, and was eager to reassure +and confirm his purpose for life; and the converse that followed +had grown so absorbing as to cause Hemstead to forget for the time +one, who by some right, divine or otherwise, had suddenly taken +possession of his thoughts with a despotism as sweet as absolute. + +But while Miss Martell was speaking most earnestly to Hemstead, +she saw some one enter the chapel door. Her color came and went. +The sentence upon her lips faltered to a lame conclusion, and though +she became deeply absorbed in the process of twining the fragrant +cedar with the shiny laurel, she did not work as deftly as before. +Looking round to see the cause, Hemstead caught one of Lottie's +reproachful glances, and was soon at her side with a sense of almost +guilty neglect. + +Addie Marchmont found work of any kind, even preparation for the +Christmas festival, stupid and tiresome; therefore she welcomed +the diversion of Harcourt's coming with double zest; and with +extravagant exclamations of delight summoned him to her side. Miss +Martell stood at some distance, and had turned her back towards +them. Harcourt did not see her at first, but the quest of his +restless eyes indicated his hope that she was there. In the mean +time he laughed and jested with Addie in something of his old-time +style. + +Lottie Marsden, like many of her young American sisters, could be +decidedly pronounced at times; but a certain amount of grace and +good taste characterized her manner. Addie had never been taught +restraint of any kind, and to her a church was just the place for +a little wild nonsense, and all present were compelled to feel that +both her words and manner went beyond the limits of good taste, +to say the least. To Harcourt, in his present state of mind, they +were so annoying as to be almost offensive, and, thinking that +Miss Martell was not present, he was about to leave the church in +order to escape. + +But Miss Martell, with her back towards them, had no means of knowing +that Harcourt was not encouraging Addie, and that her freedom with +him was not warranted by their relations. + +"I have an engagement," said Harcourt, abruptly; and he was about +to hasten away, when between intervening groups his eye caught a +glimpse of a figure rising for a moment out of one of the high-backed +pews, and suggesting to him the object of his thoughts. As he +stepped over to speak to Lottie, his eye lingered in that direction. +Instead of going directly out, he strolled to the farther end of +the audience room, speaking and bowing to one and another, but not +permitting his eyes to wander long from the bent figure of a lady +who sat with her back towards him, apparently wholly absorbed in +wreathing evergreens. + +She felt that he was coming towards her,--she heard his voice, and +soon knew that his eyes were scanning her downcast face,--but she +would not look up till he spoke. + +"Won't you deign me even a glance, Miss Martell?" he asked. + +The color deepened somewhat in her cheeks, but she looked him full in +the face, and said quietly, "Why use the word 'deign,' Mr. Harcourt?" + +"I suppose because my conscience suggests that from you I deserve +glances of dis-dain." + +"Such 'glances' are not becoming from any one, and certainly not +from me. Besides," she added, a little bitterly, at the thought of +such a brainless, frivolous girl as Addie Marchmont enchaining a +man like Harcourt, "people do not get their deserts in this world." + +"You certainly will not." + +"How is that?" she asked quickly, not taking his meaning, + +"The world is not rich enough to give it you." + +Her brow contracted into a sudden frown, and she said, a trifle +coldly, "I do not enjoy that style of compliment, Mr. Harcourt." + +"Is there any that you do enjoy?" + +Her head bent over her work; her thoughts were swift and many, +and in the quiet moment that Harcourt waited for an answer to his +commonplace question, she fought and iron a battle which, if never +known on earth, would never be forgotten in heaven. She mastered +self and selfishness, in the very citadel of their strength. Fierce +though brief was the struggle that took place beneath that gentle, +calm exterior, for the human heart is ever the same,--wilful, +passionate. With many it is often like the wild storm that will +spend itself to the end, no matter how much of wreck and ruin is +wrought. With such as Miss Martell, it is like the storm which, at +its height, heard the words of the Divine Master, "Peace, be still." + +"Let him marry Addie Marchmont if he will," she concluded. "I will +be kind and gentle to him all the same, and, cost me what it may, +I will still see him, and seek to make him a true, good man." + +So with woman's tact she turned his question, which savored only +of sentimental gallantry, to good account, and said quietly, "You +know the only 'style of compliment' that I like, and you enriched +me with it at Mrs. Byram's company,--the promise you made me." + +Harcourt sighed involuntarily. She seemed too angelic,--too far +above and beyond him. As with a ministering spirit from heaven, +her only thought was to win him from evil. Her face was pale from +the hidden conflict which had cost her more dearly than he would ever +know. Her eyes beamed upon him with a gentle, yet sweet, strange, +spiritual light. She scarcely appeared flesh and blood. But he was +very human, and his heart craved from her human love and earthly +solace. Though now, as at other times, this seemed as presumptuous +to him as if some devotee had sacrilegiously fallen in love with +his fair patron saint, still he felt a sudden and strong irritation +that they should be so far apart. + +She misunderstood his sigh, and added, "Am I a hard task-mistress?" + +He shook his head, but there was dejection in his tone as he replied, +"There have been many forms of idolatry in the world, but I have +thought that those who worshipped the stars must have become a +little discouraged at times,--they are so far off." + +Her face had the pained expression of one misunderstood, but who +cannot well explain. She said only, "Idolatry is ever profitless." +She meant to hint, he thought, that his worship of her certainly +would be. + +He was chilled at heart. His quick, impetuous spirit prompted him +towards recklessness. She saw that he was about to leave abruptly. +As she played to win him, not for herself, but heaven, she saw that +she had made a mistaken move, though she could not understand his +manner. In her maidenly pride and delicacy, she would have let him +go if she had thought only of herself; but, conscious of her other +motive, she could seek to detain him, and asked, "What did you +mean, Mr. Harcourt, by your fanciful allusion to star-worship?" + +"I meant," he replied bitterly, "that to ordinary flesh and blood, +kneeling in the cold before a distant star, be it ever so bright, +is rather chilling and discouraging. The Greeks were shrewder. +They had goddesses with warm, helping hands, and with a little +sympathetic, human imperfection." + +It hurt her cruelly that he so misjudged her; and in her confusion, +she again said that which he interpreted wrongly. + +"It is folly, then, to worship anything so cold and distant." She +was about to add plainly, "I am neither a star nor a goddess, but a +sincere, human friend,--human as yourself." She was about to make +some delicate allusion to the time when he often sought her sisterly +advice. But he, in the blindness of strong feeling, saw in her +words only rebuke for the presumption of his love, and he harshly +interrupted her. + +"No doubt it is; but let me remind you of a fact often true +in missionary experience. After the poor devils have been bereft +of the objects of their fond and credulous worship, by proof that +their deities are indifferent, they cease to have any faith at +all"; and with a cold and rather formal bow he left her side and +also left the church. + +Miss Martell's head bent lower than ever over her work, and it +was a long time before she lifted it or spoke to any one. But the +others were occupied with themselves, and no one had noted this +little side scene save Addie, who pouted that Harcourt had remained, +but not at her side, after his expressed intention of leaving. No +one surmised that two who had been present were sorely hurt. When +we receive our slight cuts and bruises through life, there are +usually outcry and abundant sympathy. But when we receive our deep +wounds, that leave scars, often only God knows; and it is best so, +for He can heal, but the world can only probe. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +"YOU MUST WAIT AND SEE." + + + + + +"How can you leave Miss Martell?" asked Lottie, as Hemstead approached +propitiatingly with a large armful of the choicest evergreens. + +"Well, I can," he replied with a smile. + +"As yet, but the next time you will stay longer, and the next longer +still." + +"That depends. I would not remain at her side, nor at any one's, +if I thought they were tiring of me a little." + +"O, she got tired of you." + +"Well, yes; a little, I think. She suddenly seemed to lose her +interest in the conversation. Still she was very good to talk to +me as long and as kindly as she did. She is a very superior woman. +It has never been my good fortune to meet just such a lady before." + +"Make the most of your rare 'good fortune.'" + +"I have." + +"And now that she is tired of you, you come back to me as a dernier +ressort." + +"Coming back to you, is like coming back home, for you have given +me the only home-like feeling that I have had during my visit." + +The language of coquetry was to Lottie like her mother-tongue, and +she fell into it as naturally as she breathed. Only now, instead +of suggesting the false hope that he had been missed and she had +cared, it expressed her true feeling, for she did care. + +De Forrest now returned from a momentary absence, and had it not +been for his garrulity the little group would have been a rather +silent one. Both young men sought to supply Lottie with the sprays +of green that she was twining. She took the evergreens chiefly from +De Forrest's hands, but gave her thoughts and eyes to Hemstead. He, +with man's usual penetration, thought De Forrest the favored one, +and was inclined to reverse his half-formed opinion that she was +destined to pathetic martyrdom, because bound by an engagement to +a man whom she could not love. + +"He can't think much of me," thought Lottie, with a sigh, "or he +couldn't speak so frankly." She, too, was losing her wonted quick +discernment. + +Only lynx-eyed Bel Parton partially surmised the truth, and suspected +that Lottie was developing a genuine, though of course a passing +interest, in the student whom at first she had purposed to beguile +in mere reckless sport. + +During the remainder of the afternoon and evening, De Forrest was +Lottie's shadow, and she could escape him, and be with Hemstead, only +by remaining with all the others. She was longing for another of +their suggestive talks, when, without the restraint of the curious +and unsympathetic, they could continue the theme that De Forrest +had interrupted on Sunday afternoon. + +She was thinking how to bring this about, when the old plan of +visiting Mrs. Dlimm occurred to her, and she adopted it at once. + +Getting a moment aside with Hemstead, by being down to breakfast a +little before the others, she said, "After my naughty behavior in +regard to our visit to Mrs. Dlimm, will you still take me there?" + +"I wish you would give me a chance," he answered eagerly. + +"Well, I will, at ten this morning. But please say nothing about it. +Drive to the door in the cutter, and I will be ready. If the matter +is discussed, there may be half a dozen other projects started." + +Hemstead ate but an indifferent breakfast, and there was also a +faint glow of expectant excitement in Lottie's face. + +Hemstead promptly sought his aunt, and asked if he might have a +horse and the single sleigh. + +"I hope another time will answer," said Mrs. Marchmont, carelessly. +"Addie wishes the horses this morning, but I believe proposes taking +you all out." + +But Hemstead was not to be baffled, and acted with more energy than +prudence perhaps. Lottie from her window saw him posting with long +strides towards the village, and exultingly surmised his object. +At ten he drove up to the door with a neat little turnout from the +livery stable; and she tripped down and took a seat at his side, +and they were off before the rest of the household realized their +purpose. + +They all looked at each other questioningly, as a few moments later +they gathered in the parlor for a general sleighride. + +Mr. Dimmerly, who had quietly watched proceedings, broke out into +his cackling laugh, as he chuckled, "He shows his blood. A dozen +seminaries could not quench him utterly." + +Mrs. Marchmont frowned. She rigidly applied the rules of propriety +to all save her own children, and she justly thought that both +Hemstead and Lottie had failed in courtesy to her and her guests, +by stealing away, as it were, without any explanations. But people +of one idea often fail in more than mere matters of courtesy; and +Hemstead and Lottie were emphatically becoming people of one idea. +And they both had misgivings and a sense of wrong-doing as they +drove away without a word of explanation. + +Mrs. Marchmont was still more puzzled when Addie exclaimed petulantly, +"I thought the agreement was that Lottie should carry out the joke +when and where we could all enjoy it." + +The lady was led to suspect that there was something on foot that +might need her investigation, and she quietly resolved to use her +eyes and ears judiciously. She well knew that her proud and fashionable +sister, Lottie's mother, would hold her to strict account if Lottie +did anything foolish. + +Bel merely shrugged her shoulders cynically. She had a certain kind +of loyalty to her friend, and said all her harsh things to Lottie +herself, and not behind her back. + +De Forrest had no other resource than to believe that Lottie was +carrying out the practical joke; but a sorry jest he found it that +morning, during which he scarcely spoke to any one. + +They drove over to town for Harcourt, but he greatly provoked Addie +by pleading that his business would not permit absence. During +the rest of the drive they all might have formed part of a funeral +procession. + +But the snow-crystals did not sparkle in the sunlight more brightly +than Lottie's eyes, as she turned to her companion, and said, "I +am so delighted that we are safely off on our drive." + +"O, it's the 'drive' you are thinking of. That is better than I +hoped. I thought we were visiting Mrs. Dlimm." + +"So we are, and I want to see her too," said Lottie, with a sudden +blush. + +"Well, I'm glad you don't dread the long, intervening miles, with +no better company than mine." + +"It's a good chance to learn patient endurance," she replied, with +a look delightfully arch. "So please drive slower." + +The horse instantly came to a walk. + +"That is the other extreme," she continued. "You always go to +extremes, as, for instance, your quixotic purpose to go out among +the border ruffians." + +"Honestly, Miss Marsden," said Hemstead, his laughing face suddenly +becoming grave, "you do not now think, in your heart, my purpose +to be a home missionary 'quixotic'?" + +"I don't know much about my heart, Mr. Hemstead, except that it +has always been very perverse. But I now wish I had a better one. +You have disturbed the equanimity with which I could do wrong most +wofully. I even feel a little guilty for leaving them all this +morning, with no explanations." + +"It was hardly right, now I think of it," said Hemstead, reflectively. + +"Have you just thought of it? How preoccupied you have been! What +have you been thinking about? Yes, it was wrong; but as it is the +first wicked thing I have caught you in I am quite comforted. I +have been hoping all along that you would do something just a little +bit encouragingly wicked." + +"How little you understand me! My wickedness and consequent twinges +of conscience have been my chief sources of trouble thus far." + +"O, well, your conscience is like Auntie Jane. A speck of dust gives +her the fidgets where other people would not see any dust at all. +If your conscience had to deal with my sins there would not be +ashes and hair-cloth enough for you." + +"What good can ashes, hair-cloth, or any kind of self-punishment, +or even self-condemnation, do us?" + +"Well, we ought to be sorry, at least." + +"Certainly, but there must be more than that. Many a wrong-doer has +been sincerely sorry, but has been punished all the same. I cannot +tell you, Miss Marsden, how much good you did me on Sunday afternoon. +My mind had been dwelling on the attributes of God,--upon doctrines +as if they were things by themselves and complete in themselves. +I almost fear that I should have become, as I fear some are, +the disciple of a religious system, instead of a simple and loyal +follower of Christ. But you fixed my eyes on a living personality, +who has the right to say, 'I forgive you,' and I am forgiven; who +has the right to say, 'I will save you,' and I am saved. If He is +the Divine Son of God, as He claims to be, has He not the right?" + +"Yes. He must be able to do just what is pleasing to Him," said +Lottie. + +"Then look upon Him as you saw Him at the grave of Lazarus,--the +very embodiment of sympathy. Suppose that in sincere regret for +all the wrong you have ever done, and with the honest wish to be +better, you go to such a being and cry, 'Forgive.' Can you doubt +His natural, inevitable course towards you? If pardoning love +and mercy should encircle you at once, would it not be in perfect +keeping with His tears of sympathy?" + +"And is that all I have to do to get rid of the old, dark record +against me? O, how black it looked last Saturday!" + +"That is all. What more can you do? Who was it that said, 'Be of +good cheer, thy sins be forgiven thee'?" + +"Mr. Hemstead," said Lottie, in a low tone, "I have felt very +strangely--differently from any time before in all my life--since +last Sunday afternoon. I seemed to look upon Christ as if He were +before me, and I saw the tears in His eyes, as I saw them in yours +the evening you said such plain things to me, and I have felt a +peculiar lightness of heart ever since. That hymn we sang on Sunday +evening expressed so exactly what I felt that I was overpowered. +It appeared written for me alone. Do you think that I can be a +Christian?" + +Hemstead's eyes glistened, and his heart bounded at the thought; +but he felt that he was in a grave and responsible position, and +after a moment's thought answered wisely: 'I can base no safe and +positive answer on your feeling. I have already learned, from my own +experience and that of others, that religious feeling is something +that comes and goes, and cannot be depended upon. The test question +is, How will you treat this Jesus whom you have seen, and who has +proved Himself both worthy to win and keep your trust? A little +strong feeling and sentiment in regard to Him can. not do you much +good. What practical relation do you intend to hold towards Him? +No doubt many that saw Him weep, and then raise Lazarus after he +had been four days dead, were profoundly moved, but the majority +went on in their old ways all the same. You abound in strong common +sense, and must see that more that even sincere, deep feeling is +necessary. What do you propose to DO? Are you willing to take up +your cross and become His faithful follower?" + +"That involves a great deal," said Lottie, with a long breath. + +"It does indeed," he replied earnestly. "I would give my life to +make you a Christian, and yet I would not seek to win you for Him +by false pretences, or hide any part of the rugged path of self-denial. +Count well the cost. But, believe me, Miss Marsden," he added, in +a tone that brought a sudden paleness to her cheek, "not following +Him involves far more that is sad and terrible." + +Tears stood in Lottie's eyes. She was silent a few moments, and was +evidently thinking deeply. The young clergyman was desperately in +earnest, and fairly trembled in the eagerness of his expectation. +He hoped that Lottie would come to a solemn and half-heroic and +formal decision. But he was both puzzled and disappointed by the +sudden and brusque manner with which she turned upon him as she +said: "Where is the heavy cross that I must take up? Show it to +me, and I will think about it. Where is the rugged path? This one +that leads to Mrs. Dlimm is very pleasant. I don't see anything +very awful in being a Christian nowadays. Of course I shall have +to give up all my old nonsense and flirt--Well, I suppose I might +as well say it out. But there are no Inquisitions, with thumbscrews +and racks, any longer. Come, Mr. Hemstead, you are a Christian. +What heavy cross are you bearing? I hope you are not in the rugged +path of self-denial this morning, while taking me to Mrs. Dlimm's. +I don't know any one who appears to enjoy the good things of life +more than you. I don't know what answer to give to your solemn and +far-reaching questions. I haven't much confidence in what Lottie +Marsden will do. All I know is that I feel as I imagine one of +those children did whom Jesus took in his arms and blessed." + +"But suppose," urged her anxious spiritual guide, who felt that +she was giving a reason for her faith that would hardly satisfy the +grave elders of the church,--"suppose that at some future time He +should impose a heavy cross, or ask of you painful self-denial, +would you shrink?" + +She turned her dewy eyes upon him with a look of mingled archness +and earnestness that he never forgot, and said significantly, "I +do not remember the New Testament story very perfectly, but when +the last, dark days came, women stood by their Lord as faithfully +as the men,--didn't they?" + +Hemstead bowed his head in sudden humility, and said: "You are +right. It was not woman who betrayed, nor did woman desert or deny +Him. Still I treasure the suggestion of your answer beyond all +words." + +The tears stood thick in Lottie's eyes, and she was provoked that +they did. Her strong feelings were quick to find expression, and +Hemstead seemed to have the power, as no one else ever had, to evoke +them. But she had a morbid dislike of showing emotion or anything +verging toward sentiment; therefore she would persist in giving a +light and playful turn to his sombre earnestness. + +"I did not mean," she said, "to be so hard upon the men, nor to +secure so rich a tribute to my sex. I imagine we all stand in need +of charity alike. Only do not expect too much of me. I dare not +promise anything. You must wait and see." + +"Though you promise so little, you inspire me with more confidence +than many whom I have heard make great professions"; and the light +of a great joy and a great hope shone in his eyes. + +"You look very happy, Mr. Hemstead," said Lottie, gratefully. "Would +you be very glad to have me become a Christian?" + +He looked at her so earnestly that the rich blood mounted to her +very brow. After a moment, he replied, in a low, trembling tone: +"I scarcely dare trust myself to answer your question, and yet I +do not exaggerate when I assure you that if I could feel that you +were a Christian before I go away, it seems as if I could never +see a dark day again. O Miss Marsden, how I have hoped and prayed +that you might become one!" + +Her head bowed low in guilty shame. She compared her purpose towards +him with his towards her. Before she thought, the words slipped +out, "And for all my wrong to you, you seek to give me heaven in +return." + +He looked at her inquiringly, not understanding her remark; but +after a moment said, "It would be heaven to me on earth, even in +my lonely work in the West, if I could remember that, as a result +of our brief acquaintance, you had become a Christian." + +"Well," she said emphatically, "our acquaintance does promise to +end differently from what I expected; and it is because you are +different. You are not the kind of a man that I expected you would +be." + +"But I understood you from the first," remarked Hemstead, complacently. +"My first impression when you gave me your warm hand, and the only +true welcome I received, has been borne out. Though at times you +have puzzled me, still, the proof you gave--on the evening of my +arrival--of a true, generous, and womanly nature, has been confirmed +again and again. It has seemed to me that your faults were due +largely to circumstances, but that your good qualities were native." + +Again Lottie turned away her burning cheeks in deep embarrassment. +Should she tell him all? She felt she could not. To lose his good +opinion and friendship now seemed terrible. But conscience demanded +that she should be perfectly frank and sincere with him, and her +fears whispered, "He may learn it from the others, and that would +be far worse than if I told him myself." + +But her moral strength was not yet equal to the test. The old, +prevailing influences of her life again swayed her, and she guided +the conversation from the topic as a pilot would shun a dangerous +rock. + +"I will tell him all about it at some future time," she thought; +"but not yet when the knowledge might drive him away in anger." + +She seized upon one of his words, which, when spoken, had jarred +unpleasantly upon her feeling. + +"Why do you speak of our acquaintance as brief? Are we to be +strangers again after this short visit is over?" + +"I most positively assure you that you can never be a stranger to +me again," he said eagerly. "But in a few days you will go to New +York, and I thousands of miles in another direction. If I should +tell you how you will dwell in my thoughts like an inspiration, +I fear you would think me sentimental. But in your absorbing city +life I fear that I shall soon become as a stranger to you." + +"Well," said Lottie, averting her face, "I don't think I'll promise +you anything this time either. You must wait and see. But is that +dreadful frontier life of yours a foregone conclusion?" + +"Yes," he said, with quiet emphasis. + +"There are plenty of heathen in New York, Mr. Hemstead. You found +one of them in me, and see how much good you have done; at least, +I hope you have." + +"There are also plenty of Christians in New York to take care of +them. I commend some of the heathen to you." + +"I fear that they will remain heathen for all that I can do." + +"No, indeed, Miss Marsden. Please never think that. No one has a +right to say, 'I can do nothing,' and you least of all. Apart from +your other gifts, you abound in personal magnetism, and almost +instantly gain control of those around you." + +"How mistaken you are! I have no control over you." + +"More than you think, perhaps," he said, flushing deeply. + +It was his heart that spoke then, and not his will, instructed by +deliberate reason. + +She too blushed, but said laughingly, "What are words? Let me test +my power. Take a church in New York, instead of a thousand miles +out of the world." + +"You are not in earnest," he said, a little sadly. "You would not +seek to dissuade me from what I regard as a sacred duty?" + +"But is it 'a sacred duty'? There are plenty of others--less +cultivated, less capable of doing good--in the refined and critical +East." + +"That is not the way a soldier reasons. Some one must go to the +front of the battle. And what excuse can such a vigorous young +fellow as I am have for hanging back?" + +As he turned his glowing face upon her she caught his enthusiasm, +and said impulsively, "And in the front of the battle I would be, +if I were a man, as I often wish I were." + +"The line of God's battle with evil is very long, Miss Marsden. I +think you can find the front in New York as truly as I in the West. +In this fight woman can often do as much as man. Won't you try?" + +"I shall not promise you anything," she said. "You must wait and +see." + +They were now before the parsonage in the hamlet of Scrub Oaks. The +sound of the bells brought Mrs. Dlimm's faded face to the window, +and on recognizing them she clapped her hands for joy, as one of +her own children might have done; and a moment later was smiling +upon the little porch, the very embodiment of welcome. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +A RATIONALIST OF THE OLD SCHOOL. + + + + + +"I knew you would come," said Mrs. Dlimm, taking both of Lottie's +hands with utter absence of formality. "Husband said I needn't look +for you any more, but I felt it in my bones--no, my heart--that you +would come. When I feel a thing is going to take place it always +does. So you are here. I am very glad to see your--Mr. Hemstead--too. +This is splendid." And Mrs. Dlimm exultantly ushered Lottie into +the room that, when last seen, was crowded with such a motley +assembly. Hemstead meanwhile drove the horse to an adjacent shed. + +"But he isn't my Mr. Hemstead," said Lottie, laughing. + +"Well, it seems as if he were related, or belonged to you in some +way. When I think of one, I can't help thinking of the other." + +"O dear!" exclaimed Lottie, still laughing, blushing, and affecting +comic alarm; "being joined together by a minister's wife is almost +as bad as by the minister himself." + +"Almost as good, you mean. You would have my congratulation rather +than sympathy if you secured such a prince among men." + +"How little you know about him, Mrs. Dlimm! He is going to be a +poor, forlorn home missionary; and your husband's increased salary +will be royal compared with his." + +"He will never be forlorn; and how long will he be poor?" + +--"All his life possibly." + +"That's not very long. What will come after? What kind of a master +is he serving?" + +"Do you know," said Lottie, lowering her tone, and giving her +chair a little confidential hitch toward the simple-hearted lady +with whom formality and circumlocution were impossible, "that I am +beginning to think about these things a great deal?" + +"I don't wonder, my dear," said Mrs. Dlimm, with a little sigh of +satisfaction. "No one could help thinking about him who saw his +manly courtesy and tact the evening you were here." + +"O, no," said Lottie, blushing still more deeply; "I did not mean +that. Please understand me. Mr. Hemstead is only a chance acquaintance +that I have met while visiting my aunt, Mrs. Marchmont. I mean that +when I was here last I was a very naughty girl, but I have since +been thinking how I could be a better one. Indeed, I should like +to be a Christian, as you are." + +In a moment the little lady was all tender solicitude. She was one +who believed in conversion; and, to her, being converted was the +greatest event of life. + +But just then Hemstead entered, and she had enough natural, womanly +interest--not curiosity--to note the unconscious welcome of Lottie's +eyes, and the quick color come and go in her face, as if a fire +were burning in her heart and throwing its flickering light upon +her fair features. + +"Chance acquaintance, indeed!" she thought. "Why, here is this +city-bred girl blushing as I once did about Mr. Dlimm. Whether +she knows it or not, her blushes must tell the same story as mine." + +But though Mrs. Dlimm was so unconventional, she had tact, and +turned the conversation to the subject of the donation party. + +"See here," she exclaimed exultantly, tugging a bulky commentary; +"this is one of the results of your coming the other evening. Mr. +Dlimm has been wanting this book a long time, and now he pores over +it so much that I am getting jealous." + +"The opinions expressed in such a ponderous volume ought to have +great weight, surely," said Hemstead, smiling. + +"And do you know," she continued, in an aside to Lottie, "that each +of the children has had a new warm winter suit? and, wonderful to +tell, I have bought myself a dress right from the store, instead +of making over something sent me by brother Abel's wife from New +York." + +Lottie's eyes moistened, and she said in half soliloquy, "I didn't +know it was so nice and easy to make others happy." + +"Ah! depend upon it, you are learning lots of things," said Mrs. +Dlimm, significantly. "When God begins to teach, then we do learn, +and something worth knowing, too." + +"I thought that God's lessons were very hard and painful," said +Lottie to Hemstead, with a spice of mischief in her manner. + +"Mrs. Dlimm is a better authority than I was," he replied. "Do you +know," he continued, addressing their hostess, "that Miss Marsden +has done more to teach me how to preach than all my years at the +seminary?" + +"Surely," exclaimed Mrs. Dlimm, "that's a rather strong statement. +I can understand how Miss Marsden can do a great deal for one. We +have had very nice experience in that direction; but just how she +should teach you more than all the grave professors and learned +text-books is not clear at once." + +"Well, she has," he maintained stoutly. "I doubt whether your husband +gets as much light upon the Bible from that huge commentary there +as Miss Marsden gave me in one afternoon." + +Mrs. Dlimm turned her eyes inquiringly toward Lottie, who said, +laughingly, "It would seem, last week, that I was a heathen and +Mr. Hemstead a heretic." + +"And what are you now?" + +"O, he's all right now." + +"And not you?" + +"I fear I shall always be a little crooked; but I hope I am not +exactly a heathen any longer." + +"Miss Marsden was a heathen, as Nathanael was a shrewd and dishonest +Jew," said Hemstead. + +"What kind of a Jew was Nathanael?" asked Lottie, innocently. + +"Christ said, when he first saw him," replied Mrs. Dlimm, smiling, +"'Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile.'" + +Then both were puzzled at Lottie's sudden and painful flush, but +they ascribed it to her modesty; and Hemstead, to give her time +to recover herself, gave a brief sketch of his sermon, and how, in +the afternoon, while reading, at Lottie's suggestion, the complete +story of Lazarus, they both had seen the unspeakable sympathy of +Christ for those He sought to save. + +"O dear!" thought Lottie, "when shall I escape the consequences of +my foolish jest? 'Without guile,' indeed!" + +Mr. Dlimm now appeared, and he and Hemstead were soon discussing +the rendering of an obscure passage, upon which the big commentary +gave the conflicting opinions of a dozen learned doctors. Mrs. +Dlimm carried Lottie off to her sanctum, the nursery,--the fruitful +source of questions and mysteries the learned doctors would find +still more difficult to solve. + +"And you are contented with this narrow round of life?" asked Lottie, +curiously, as Mrs. Dlimm finished the narration of what seemed to +her very tame experience. + +"Narrow!" said Mrs. Dliram, reproachfully; "my life and work are +not narrow. I have six little immortals to train. A million years +hence they will either bless or reproach me. What consideration in +fashionable life is equal to that? Besides, my husband is engaged +in the same kind of work that brought the Son of God from heaven to +earth. It is my privilege to help him. Scrub Oaks is as much of a +place as many of the villages in which He preached, and I am grateful +that I can take part in so royal a calling." + +"Mrs. Dlimm," said Lottie, with sudden animation, "I shouldn't +wonder if you and your husband were very great people in heaven." + +"Oh!" cried the little lady, laughing. "We never think of that. +Why should we? But I know there will be a nook there for us, and +the thought makes me very happy." + +"And you really and truly have been happy in all your toil and +privations?" + +"Yes," said Mrs Dlimm, with a strange, far-away look coming into +her large blue eyes; "when everything on earth has been darkest +I have been most happy, and this has confirmed my faith. Little +children are sources of great joy, but they also cause much pain +and anxiety. Yet when I have been suffering most,--when the wardrobe +has been scanty and the larder almost bare,--God has taken me to +His heart as I clasp this child here, and comforted by assuring +me, 'Never fear, my child, I will take care of you and yours.' See +how He keeps His word. He sent you here, with your bright, sunny +face. He sent Mr. Hemstead here; and between you both we shall make +a long stage of our homeward journey most pleasantly." + +"I never heard any one talk like you before," said Lottie, musingly. +"You seem to believe all the Bible says, as if it were actually +right before you." + +"Believe! Why not? The idea of God not keeping His word!" + +"And is faith just the certainty that God will keep His word?" + +"That is just faith; and though this great world--for little bits +of which people lose their souls--shall pass away, God's word shall +stand until His least promise is fulfilled." + +"That is not our creed on Fifth Avenue," said Lottie sadly. "The +world first, God last. But you sometimes, surely, wish that Mr. +Dlimm was rich, and that you could have for him and the children +and yourself all that heart could wish?" + +"I used to feel so occasionally, but I have got past that now. God +loves my husband and children better than I do, and He will provide +what is best for us all. I simply try to rest in His arms as this +child does in mine." + +"How strange it all is!" said Lottie, thoughtfully. + +"Why strange? Your earthly father provides for you the best he can; +and if our Heavenly Father provides for us in the same way, surely +will not His be the better provision? What an absurd, unnatural +thing it is to suppose there is anything better than what God will +give His own dear children. Are not both earth and heaven His? +and He has promised the best of both to us." + +"I can scarcely realize it all yet," said Lottie, with tears in +her eyes. "I suppose it is because you are so natural and true that +you seem so odd to me, who have been brought up among those that +I fear look at things in false lights." + +"I think I understand you, my dear," said Mrs. Dlimm, hopefully. +"A child's penny toy will hide a great mountain if held too near +the eyes. It is thus the eyes of the worldly are blinded by trifles +till I fear some will never see God or heaven. But He is teaching +you better. As long as you follow His gentle leadings, and the pure +impulses of your own heart, all will be well. But as soon as you +begin to take counsel of the world and its self-seeking spirit, you +will find yourself in trouble. If we wish to prosper and be happy +in God's world, we must do His will. This is good, sound common +sense, which the experience of every age has borne out. It often +seems hard at first, my dear, as you will find out. The scourging +was very hard to bear; but Paul and Silas, singing in prison, with +their feet made fast in the stocks, were better off than their +jailer, who was about to kill himself, and the magistrates, who, +no doubt, were in mortal fear because of the earthquake. We, too, +can sing, whatever happens, as long as God and conscience are upon +our side." + +It will thus be seen that Mrs. Dlimm was a rationalist as well as +a believer, though not of the new school. + +For some reason, her philosophy was peculiarly acceptable to Lottie, +and, though scarcely conscious why, the exhortation to follow the +impulses of her own heart seemed especially natural and right; but +her fashionable mother would have been alarmed indeed, if she had +known that her beautiful daughter was becoming the disciple of Mrs. +Dlimm. + +Though their call was by no means a short one, it passed all too +quickly. The memory of it would never fade from Lottie's mind; +and it became another link in the chain by which God was seeking +to bind her to a better future than her friends could dream of in +their earthly ambition. + +"I am very glad I made this visit," Lottie said, as they were +hastening home lest they should be late to dinner. "It was very +kind of you to take me so far." + +He turned and lifted his eyebrows comically. + +"What do you mean by that?" she asked. + +"To hear you, one would think that I had been a martyr for your +sake, while, in truth, I never enjoyed myself more." + +"Yes," said she; "but you welcome afflictions and trials of your +patience." + +"Would that I might be ever thus afflicted!" he exclaimed impulsively. +Then, suddenly becoming conscious of the natural suggestion of his +words, he blushed deeply; but not more so than Lottie, who turned +away her face to hide her flaming cheeks. He, misinterpreting +the act, thought that she meant a hint that such remarks were not +agreeable, and was thinking how to remedy what he now regarded +as a very foolish speech, when she, with woman's tact, led the +conversation to unembarrassing topics, and before they were aware +the horse stopped at Mrs. Marchmont's door. + +Lottie disarmed both suspicion and censure to a considerable extent +by saying, "I had promised Mrs. Dlimm to come and see her again, +and wished to keep my word. I knew no one would care to go there +save Mr. Hemstead, so I took him to see the parson while I visited +the parson's wife. I enjoyed my call very much, too; and as Mr. +Hemstead and Mr. Dlimm had a great argument over a knotty theological +point, I suppose he feels somewhat repaid also." + +This put matters in quite another light. That one should go to see +a parson's wife, and the other to discuss theology with the parson, +was very different from stealing off for an indefinite ride with +the purpose of being alone together. De Forrest was quite comforted, +and was even inclined to regard Lottie as rather considerate in not +asking him to accompany her when visiting such undesirable people +as the Dlimms. Though why she should wish to visit them herself +was a mystery. But then, he thought, "Lottie is odd and full of +queer moods and whims. Let her indulge them now, because, as my wife, +they will scarcely be the thing." He was still more comforted by +noting that she did not have a great deal to say to Hemstead--indeed, +that she rather avoided him. + +"She has had enough, and too much, of his heavy stupid company," +he thought, "and finds that even the carrying out of the practical +joke is too hard work. If I can only get another good opportunity, +I won't wait till she goes to sleep before bringing the question +to an issue." + +But Lottie gave him no opportunity, and, while kind and gentle +toward him, adroitly managed that they should never be alone. + +And Hemstead also, who had found their private tete-a-tetes so +delightful and productive of good results, was equally unable to +be alone with her. Not that Lottie was averse, but because she saw +that lynx-eyed Bel was watching her; and again for the hundredth +time she wished her cynical friend back in the city. + +Lottie's manner and apparent reserve were so marked at one time +that Hemstead began to grow troubled, though why he scarcely knew. +There was no cause, save the peculiar sensitiveness of one whose +sunshine is beginning to come, not from the skies, but from the +changing features of a fellow-mortal. + +Lottie quickly saw his shadowed face, and surmised the cause. Soon +after, when his eyes were questioningly seeking hers, she gave him +such a sunny, genial smile as to assure him that, whatever might +be the cause of her somewhat distant manner, it did not result from +any estrangement from him. + +Heretofore, when Lottie had liked a gentleman, she had been frank +in showing that preference within the limits of lady-like bearing. +But, for some reason, she began to grow excessively shy in manifesting +any interest in Hemstead that the others could note. The reason +with which she satisfied herself explained her feeling but partially. + +"They will think I am still trying to carry out my wicked, foolish +joke." + +But she did long for another unrestrained talk with him, and watched +keenly to secure it without exciting remark. De Forrest did all +he could to prevent this, however, and Bel unconsciously became +his ally. With woman's quick perception, she saw that Lottie was +indulging in something more than a "mood," and felt that it was a +duty she owed to her friend to prevent mischief. + +Thus Monday and Tuesday passed away, Lottie being too circumspect +to give Bel sufficient cause for speaking plainly. + +Dan and Mr. Dimmerly were the only ones of the household who +regarded the change in Lottie with unmixed satisfaction. Not giving +a thought to the cause, they were pleased with the gentleness and +attention which resulted. + +"Lottie," said her brother Dan, as she kissed him good-night, +after telling a marvellously good story, "what has come over you? +You make me think of Auntie Jane." + +"I must be growing good indeed, if I remind any one of Auntie Jane," +thought Lottie, exultantly. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +THE TERROR OF A GREAT FEAR. + + + + + +Long before Harcourt reached his law-office, he was satisfied that +he had blundered foolishly, and done Miss Martell great injustice. Her +right to refuse his unwelcome love was perfect, and her manner of +doing so, as he understood her, had been most delicate, even in his +estimation. At the same time she had never given him the slightest +ground for his implied aspersion that in her pure, Christian life +she shone down upon him with the cold distance of a "star." + +He recalled her words and bearing in Mrs. Byram's conservatory, and +the degree in which his unreasonable passion had blinded him grew +more apparent. + +"Why should I expect her to love me?" he asked himself in bitterness. +"It is a hundred-fold more than I deserve, or had a right to hope, +that she should put out her hand to save me." + +He was on the point of returning twenty times, and asking her +pardon for his folly, but that bane of our life,--that hinderance +to more good and happiness than perhaps any other one cause,--pride, +deterred, and Monday evening passed, an unhappy one to the object +of his thoughts as well as to himself. + +On Tuesday pride was vanquished, and as soon as his business permitted +he repaired to the Martell mansion, eager to ask forgiveness. To his +deep disappointment, he learned that Mr. Martell and his daughter +had driven up to town, crossed on the ferry-boat, and were paying +some visits on the other side of the river. + +He now purposed to call again as soon as they returned, but was +unexpectedly detained until quite late in the evening. He approached +the familiar place that now enshrined, to him, the jewel of the +world, in both a humble and an heroic mood. He would not presume +again, but in silence live worthily of his love for one so lovely. +He would be more than content--yes, grateful--if she would deign +to help him climb toward her moral height. + +As he stood on the piazza, after ringing the door-bell, he was in +greater trepidation than when he had made his first plea in court, +and was so intent in trying to frame his thoughts into appropriate +language that he did not note for the moment that no one answered. +Again he rang, but there was no response. There were lights in the +house, and he knocked upon the door quite loudly. A housemaid soon +after appeared, with a scared and anxious face. + +"Is Miss Martell at home?" he asked, a sudden boding of evil chilling +his heart. + +"Indade an' she is not. Would to God she was!" + +"What do you mean?" + +"Faix, an' I'm sure I'm glad ye's come, Misther Harcourt. The +coachman is down at the shore, and he'll tell ye all." + +Harcourt dashed through the snow and shrubbery, over rocks and +down steeps that gave him one or two severe falls, that he might, +the nearest way, reach Mr. Martell's boat-house. Here he found the +coachman peering out upon the dark waters, and occasionally uttering +a hoarse, feeble shout, which could scarcely be heard above the +surf that beat with increasing heaviness upon the icy beach. + +The man seemed nearly exhausted with cold and anxiety, and was +overjoyed at seeing Harcourt; but he told the young man a story +which filled him with deepest alarm. It was to this effect: + +Mr. and Miss Martell had been delayed in leaving a friend's house +on the opposite side of the river until it was too late to reach +the boat on which it was their intention to cross. They had been +prevailed upon by their hospitable host to send their sleigh up +to a later boat, while they remained for an early supper, and then +should cross in a boat rowed by an experienced oarsman, who was a +tenant on the gentleman's place. + +"It was quite a bit after dark when I got back, but Mr. Martell +and the young lady hadn't come over yet. I first thought they was +goin' to stay all night, and that I should go arter them in the +mornin'; but the woman as sews says how she was sittin' at one of +the upper winders, and how she sees, just afore night, a light push +out from t'other side and come straight across for a long while, +and then turn and go down stream. I'm afeard they've caught in the +ice." + +"But what became of the light?" asked Harcourt, half desperate with +fear and anxiety. + +"Well, the woman as sews says it went down and down as long as she +could see." + +A faint scream from the house now arrested their attention, and +hastening up the bank they heard the servants crying from the upper +windows of the mansion, "There it comes! there it comes again!" + +Harcourt rushed to the second story of the house. A door leading +into an apartment facing the river was open, and without a thought +he entered and threw open the blinds. Away to the south, where the +river enters the Highlands, he saw a faint light, evidently that +of the lantern carried in the boat. Familiar with the river, the +whole state of things flashed upon him. In the last of the ebb tide +their boat had become entangled in the ice, but had been carried +down no very great distance. Now that the tide had turned, it was +coming back, with the mass of ice in which it had become wedged. + +And could that faint glimmer indicate the presence of the one who +never before had been so dear? Could Miss Martell, the child of +luxury, so beautiful and yet so frail and delicate, be out in the +darkness and cold of this winter night, perishing perhaps, with +the lights of this her elegant home full in view? + +Then, for the first time, he recognized that the room he was in +must be Miss Martell's sleeping apartment. Though the light was +low and soft, it revealed an exquisite casket, in keeping with the +jewel it had once held, but might no more enshrine. On every side +were the evidences of a refined but Christian taste, and also +a certain dainty beauty that seemed a part of the maiden herself, +she having given to the room something of her own individuality. + +It would be hard to describe Harcourt's sensation as a hasty glance +revealed the character of the place. He felt somewhat as a devout +Greek might, had he stumbled into the sacred grotto of his most +revered goddess. + +But this thought was uppermost in his mind,--"Here is where she +should be; yonder--terrible thought--is where she is. What can I +do?" + +Again he dashed back to the shore, calling the coachman to follow +him. When the man reached the water's edge, he found that Harcourt +had broken open the boat-house, and was endeavoring to get out the +boat. + +"Ye'll gain nothing there, wid that big boat," said the coachman. +"The master has been away so long that it's all out o' order. The +water can get in it as soon as yerself. The young lady's little +scollop--the one as is called Naughty Tillus--is sent away for the +winter." + +"Stop your cursed croaking," cried Harcourt, excitedly, "and help +me out with this boat. If I can't save her, I can at least drown +with her." + +"Divil a lift will I give ye. It will do the master and young lady +no good, and I'll not have your drownding on my conscience." + +Harcourt soon found that he could not manage the large boat alone, +and the matches he struck to guide him revealed that the man had +spoken truly, and that the craft was in no condition for the service +he proposed. + +"Great God!" he cried, "is there no way to save her?" + +He sprang upon the boat-house, and there, away to the south, was +the dim light coming steadily up the stream. The moon had not yet +risen; the sky was overcast with wildly flying clouds; the wind +was rising, and would drive and grind the ice more fiercely. It +was just the night for a tragedy, and he felt that if he saw that +light disappear, as a sign that the boat had been crushed and its +occupants swallowed up by the wintry tide, the saddest tragedy of +the world would have taken place. + +He groaned and clenched his hands in his impotent anguish. + +"O God!" he cried, "what can I do to save her." + +He clasped his throbbing temples, and tried to think. It soon occurred +to him that Mrs. Marchmont's boat might be in better condition. +Hemstead was strong and brave, and would assuredly join him in the +effort to rescue them. Without a word he rushed up the bank, sprang +into his cutter, gave his spirited horse a cut from the whip, which +caused him at once to spring into a mad gallop, and so vanished +from the eyes of the bewilderd and terrified servants, who were +left alone to their increasing fears. + +"Save her,--save her," muttered the coachman, as, stiff and numb +with cold, he followed Harcourt more slowly to the house. "It's +kind o' queer how he forgits about the old man." + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +A TRUE KNIGHT. + + + + + +As the dusk deepened into night upon this memorable evening, +Hemstead stood at the parlor window, and looked out so long and +intently that Lottie joined him at last, and asked, "What can you +see without, and in the darkness, so much more attractive than +anything within?" + +"Do you see that faint light out there upon the river?" + +"Yes." + +"Well, I've been watching it for some time, and it troubles me. +I noticed this afternoon that there was ice coming down with the +tide. Is it possible that some one, in crossing with a small boat, +has been caught in the ice and carried downward?" + +"Why should you think that? Nothing is more common than lights upon +the river at night." + +"Yes, but not of late. Since the last severe cold I have noticed +that the river was almost deserted, and the papers state that it +is freezing north of us. But it is the peculiarity in the movement +of the light that perplexes me. When I saw it first, it appeared as +if coming across the river. Suddenly, when quite over toward this +side, it seemed to stop a moment, then turn directly down the +stream." + +"Uncle," cried Lottie, "you know all about the river. How do you +account for what Mr. Hemstead has seen?" and she explained. + +"Lights are very deceptive at night, especially upon the water," +said Mr. Dimmerly, sententiously. "It's probably a hardy water-rat +of a boatman dropping down with the tide to a point opposite to +where he wishes to land." + +"Yes, that is it, Mr. Hemstead, so dismiss your fears. Your brow +is as clouded as that murky sky there." + +"That comparison is quite oriental in its extravagance," he said, +his anxious face relaxing into a sudden smile. "But then you are +a bit tropical yourself." + +"Well, you can't complain if I remind you of the tropics this +dreary winter night; so I'll bear out your fanciful conceit. Your +face, a moment since, was like a burst of sunshine." + +"Your figure now is incorrect as well as extravagant; for, whatever +light my face has, it is but the reflection of your kindness." + +"I hope you do not mean to suggest that you have any tendency +towards 'mooning'?" + +"'Mooning' is the indulgence of sickly sentiment, is it not,--a +diluted moonlight kind of feeling?" + +"Very well defined. Does experience give you such accuracy?" said +Lottie, laughingly. + +"I can honestly say no; and most surely not in your case." + +"I'm glad to hear it," said Lottie. "I should be sorry to think that +cold, diluted moonlight was the type of any of my friends' regard." + +"You may rest assured," he replied impulsively, "there is nothing +'cold or diluted' in my regard for you--" + +"There is the supper-bell," interrupted Lottie, hastily. + +"What are you looking at?" asked De Forrest, uneasily noting the +fact of their standing together within the shadowy curtains. He +had just descended from the toilet which, with him, was a necessity +before each meal. + +"Mr. Hemstead has seen a light upon the river, and bodes from +it some vague danger to some vague, indefinite people. Come, Mr. +Hemstead, come away, or before we know it you will be off on the +quixotic attempt to rescue what uncle calls a 'hardy water-rat,' +that all the water of the river could not drown." + +"O, I see," sneered De Forrest; "Mr. Hemstead wishes to get +cheaply, standing here within and in good company, the credit of +being willing to attempt a perilous rescue." + +"You are jumping at conclusions very rapidly, Julian, and not very +charitable ones either," said Lottie, reproachfully. + +"Come, Mr. De Forrest," said Hemstead, quietly, "we will test +this question of cheapness. I will go with you to investigate that +light." + +"Nonsense!" replied the exquisite. "As Miss Marsden suggested, Don +Quixote may be your model knight, but he is not mine." + +"Now I didn't suggest any such thing," said Lottie, decidedly vexed. + +"Come, young people, tea is waiting," called Mrs. Marchmont. + +"Well, I did," said De Forrest to Lottie, aside; "and what's more, +I believe it's true," and he placed her reluctant hand upon his +arm, and drew her to the supper-room. + +But Hemstead lingered a moment, to watch the light, with increasing +uneasiness. In his silent abstraction at the table it was evident +to Lottie that his mind was dwelling upon the problem of the +mysterious glimmer far out upon the river. Before the meal was +over, he abruptly excused himself, but soon returned as if relieved, +and said, "It is no more to be seen." + +"I told you how it was," said Mr. Dimmerly. "The man floated down +as far as he wished, and now has pulled ashore." + +The explanation fully satisfied the rest, and sounded plausible to +Hemstead; and the evening promised to pass quietly and uneventfully +away. Mrs. Marchmont's parlor was a picture of cosey elegance. +Bel, and Addie with her mother and uncle, made a game of whist at +one table; while Hemstead in subdued tones read the latest magazine at +another. De Forrest was half-dozing in his chair, for the article +was rather beyond him; and while Lottie's fair face was very +thoughtful, it might be questioned whether the thought was suggested +by the reader or by what he read. But the article was finished, +and for the relief of change Hemstead paced the room a few moments, +and then half-aimlessly went to the window and looked out toward +the river. His abrupt exclamation startled them all. + +"There is the light again!" + +A moment later he stood, bare-headed, upon the piazza, straining +his eyes out into the darkness. + +"I feel impressed that there is something wrong,--that some one is +in danger," he said to Lottie, who had followed him. + +"You will take cold standing here without your hat," she said. + +"So will you. Where is your hat, that you should talk prudence to +me?" + +But the others were more thoughtful of themselves, and were well +protected as they now also came out upon the piazza. + +"Well, it is a little queer," said Mr. Dimmerly. + +"I suppose one ought to go and see what it means," said Bel, +hesitatingly. "But then there are those better able to go than any +one from here." + +"Hush!" said Hemstead. + +Far and faint there seemed to come a cry for help across the +darkness. + +"That is enough," he cried; "some one is in distress and danger. +Come, Mr. De Forrest. The case has lost all its quixotic elements, +and you may now emulate the Chevalier Bayard himself." + +"O, please don't go, gentlemen!" cried Lottie. "See, the night is +very dark; the wind is rising; the water must be very rough. You +may just throw away your own lives in the vain attempt to save +utter strangers." + +"Miss Marsden is right," said De Forrest, as if greatly relieved. +"The attempt is perfectly foolhardy, and I am not a fool. If some +one is in a boat that is fast in the ice, he has only a few more +miles to drift before coming opposite a large town, where there +are many better able to help than we are." + +"Hush!" cried Hemstead; "do you hear that?" + +Faint and far away, as a response to De Forrest's words, came again +more clearly the cry for help. + +"That is enough," again said Hemstead, excitedly; and he started +for his hat. + +Lottie laid her hand upon his arm, and said with seeming earnestness, +"Surely, Mr. Hemstead, you will not be guilty of the folly of going +alone upon such a desperate attempt as this?" + +"I surely will; and you surprise me greatly that you seek to detain +me," he said, almost sternly. + +"But you alone can do nothing." + +"As I am a man I will try. Where can I get the key of the boat-house?" + +"If the young gentleman will go, I will go with him," said a voice +from the darkness beyond the piazza, which they recognized as that +of Mrs. Marchmont's coachman. "I've been to sea in my day, and am +not afraid of a little water, salt or fresh." + +"Good for you, my fine fellow. I'll be with you at once," cried +Hemstead. + +"I've got the key of the boat-house, a lantern, and an axe to cut +the ice, so you have only to put on your coat and hat." + +"There," said Hemstead to Lottie; "a way is provided already. How +could you wish to keep me back?" and without waiting for an answer +he hastily seized his hat and coat from the hall rack. + +But before he could spring down the piazza, steps she again stopped +him a moment, as she said, in a low, husky tone: "I did not wish +to detain, but to test you. I wish you to go. I am proud of you, +though my heart trembles at your peril. But you shall not go till +you are protected and equipped. See, your hands are bare; they will +become numb, and so useless. Where are your gloves? The wind will +carry your hat away. Here, you shall be my knight upon this occasion, +and, if you will, may wear my colors;" and she snatched the ribbon +from her hair, and tied his hat firmly down. + +In a low, thrilling tone, meant only for her, he said: "Now you +are the Lottie of my ideal; now you are yourself again, and your +words have given me tenfold my former courage and strength. Good-by;" +and ere she was aware, he had seized her hand and pressed a kiss +upon it, in true old knightly style. + +"God bring you back safely," she said, with a quick sob. + +Heaven heard the prayer. He did not, for he was off with a bound; +and the darkness swallowed him up as he followed the stout-hearted +ex-sailor. + +Lottie stood where he left her, unconscious that the wintry wind +was blowing her unconfined hair wildly about. + +"Miss Lottie," said De Forrest, approaching her humbly. + +She raised her hand deprecatingly. + +"Really, Miss Lottie," he persisted, "I would have gone if you had +wished me to." + +"Hark!" she said, in a low tone. "Can you heal them?" + +Lynx-eyed Bel, standing unnoticed in the shadow, had witnessed and +comprehended the scene more fully than the Others, and speedily +brought Lottie to her senses by whispering in her ear: "Come, don't +make a goose of yourself. If Mr. Hemstead is your 'knight,' he +has not gone to fight a dragon, but to row a boat, and rescue a +fisherman in all probability. Your hair is down and blowing about +your eyes, and you look like a guy generally." + +Even Lottie, in her highly-wrought state, was not proof against +such bald prose as this; and she turned and hastened to her room. + +Bel followed, proposing now, at last, to open Lottie's eyes to her +folly. Her first words of wisdom were, as Lottie, with wet eyes, +stood binding up her hair, "What a fool you are beginning to make +of yourself over this Western student!" + +"Hush!" said Lottie, imperiously. + +"There it is again. You haven't been yourself since he came. If +your mother knew what was going on--" + +"Bel," said Lottie, in a tone that quite startled that nervous +young lady, "do you value my friendship at all?" + +"Certainly; and that is why I wish to prevent you from drifting +into trouble: and it's not right for you to get him into--" + +Lottie's warning gesture was so emphatic that Bel paused. + +"Has it ever occurred to you," Lottie continued, in a tone that Bel +had never heard her use before, "that I am not a child, and that +you are not my natural guardian? Not another word, please, about +Mr. Hemstead, or we are strangers;" and she quietly finished her +toilet and left the room. + +She had hardly reached the lower hall before there was a furious +ring at the door. Before it could be Opened Mr. Harcourt burst +in, and called, "Where is Mr. Hemstead?" + +At the first sound of his voice Addie rushed out and clung to his +arm, crying hysterically, "What is the matter?" + +He drew back, with an impatience akin to disgust, and repeated his +question: "Where is Mr. Hemstead? Why don't some one speak?" + +"Mr. Harcourt," said Mrs. Marchmont, in offended dignity, "I think +you might, at least, have answered Addie's question and told us +what the trouble is." + +"Trouble enough, God knows. Mr. and Miss Martell have been caught +in the ice, out in an open boat, for hours. Do you see that light +there? Good heavens! there is another light shooting out toward +it--" + +"Yes," cried Lottie, in a sudden ecstasy of delight; "there goes +my brave, true knight to the rescue, and he will save them, too; +see how he gains upon them. That is Mr. Hemstead's voice. I know +it well. He is shouting encouragement to them. Hear the feeble +answering cry." + +"That's a woman's voice," Harcourt cried, after listening a moment +as if his life depended on what he heard. "Thank God, she has not +perished with cold"; and he dashed away toward the river bank. + +Addie and her mother looked at each other. They too, like the +coachman, had been struck with Mr. Harcourt's choice of pronouns. + +But the prudent lady did not forget herself or her duty a moment. +She made them all come in from the bleak piazza, and had the light +turned down in the parlor, so that they could see through the window +just as well,--a more comfortable point of observation. + +But De Forrest quite ostentatiously muffled himself up to his eyes, +that he might go down and "help." + +Approaching timidly, he said to Lottie as she stood at the window, +"Can you not take another knight into your service this evening?" + +"O, yes, Julian," she replied good-naturedly; "a regiment in so good +a cause as this. Hasten to the shore. You may be of some possible +help;" and, with a gesture of dismission, she turned again to her +watch. + +De Forrest slowly departed, feeling that this was a very different +farewell from that bestowed on Hemstead, of which he had caught an +aggravating glimpse. + +While the others were eagerly talking and surmising, and the servants +bustling about, preparing for those who would soon be brought in, +chilled and wet with spray, Lottie stood at her post motionless, +oblivious of all around, and as intent upon Hemstead's light as if +she were to be rescued instead of Miss Martell. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +ON A CRUMBLING ICE-FLOE. + + + + + +The plan suggested by their host, of sending their sleigh home by +the ferry, while they crossed in a boat, just suited Miss Martell, +and she proposed having a good vigorous pull at the oars herself. +She had always been fond of out-of-door sports, a taste which her +father had judiciously encouraged; and thus had saved her, no doubt, +from the life of an invalid, for she had inherited the delicacy +of a feeble mother, who years before, in spite of all that wealth +could do to prevent it, had passed away. + +Just at this time Miss Martell was waging that pathetic war with +her own heart which so many women must fight out in silence; and +she welcomed eagerly any distraction of thought,--anything that +would so weary the body that the mind could rest. She dreaded the +long, monotonous ride home, and so warmly seconded the new plan +that her father yielded, though somewhat against his judgment. + +Through the little delays of a hospitality more cordial than kind, +they were kept until the early December twilight was deepening into +dusk. But the oarsman lighted his lantern, and was confident that +he could put them across most speedily. The boat was stanch and +well built, and they started with scarcely a misgiving, Miss Martell +taking an oar with much zest. Their friends waved them off with +numberless good wishes, and then from their windows watched till +the boat seemed quite across, before drawing the curtains and +concluding that all was well. + +At first they did not meet much ice, and everything promised a +safe and speedy passage; but, when they were well past the middle +of the river, two dark masses were seen just before them. There +appeared to be a wide opening between them, through which they +could see the water ripple. + +"I think we can shoot through," said the oarsman, standing up a +moment; "perhaps it will be the safest course, for we don't know +what's above." + +"Very well," said Mr. Martell, "I will steer you as well as I can. +Pull strongly till we are again in clear water." + +Miss Martell bent her supple form to the oar, and her strokes counted +as well as those of the strong, practised man; and the boat sped, +all too quickly, into what afterwards seemed the very jaws of +destruction. + +The opening narrowed instead of widening. The ice above, for some +reason, appeared to gain on that below. + +In growing alarm, Mr. Martell saw that they were becoming shut in, +and pointed out the fact to the oarsman. + +"Shall we turn around?" he asked, excitedly. + +The man stood up again, and instantly decided. + +"No, we have not time; the tide is running very swiftly. The ice +would close on us before we could get around. Our best chance is +to push through. I can see water beyond." They bent to their oars +again with the energy which danger inspires. + +But there was not time. The opening closed too rapidly. Suddenly +the bow struck the upper cake, and, being well out of the water, +ran up on the ice, causing the boat to take in water at the stern. +For a second it seemed that they would be overturned and drowned +at once. + +But just at this moment the upper cake struck the lower ice, and +the boat, being well up on the first cake, was not crushed between +the two masses, as would have been the case had the ice closed +against its sides while they were deep in the water. For a moment +they were saved, while the upper and lower floes crunched and ground +together under the keel, lifting the light craft still further +above the tide and throwing it over on one side. Without a second's +pause, the now consolidated field of ice swept downward, carrying +with it the wedged and stranded skiff. + +The lantern gleamed on the pale faces of those who realized that +they had just passed through a moment of supreme peril, and perhaps +had before them as great if not equally imminent dangers. + +The oarsman hastily examined the boat, and found that it had been +injured, though to what extent he could not tell. Water was oozing +in slowly from some point near the keel, but they were too high out +of the water to know whether more dangerous leaks had been made. +They tried to break their way out, but found that the two cakes +had become so joined together as to form a solid mass, upon which +they could make no impression. + +They called aloud for help, and Miss Martell's plaintive cry was +blended again and again with the hoarse, strong shoutings of the +men. But the river was wide; the tide swept them out toward its +centre, and then nearer the less peopled eastern shore. The evening +was cold and bleak; few were out, and these so intent upon reaching +warm firesides that they never thought of scanning the dark waste +of the river; and so, to all the cries for aid there was no response, +save the gurgling water, that sounded so cold as to chill their +hearts, and the crunching of the ice as the rushing tide carried +them downward, and away from the gleaming lights of their own loved +home,--downward and past the lights from Mrs. Marchmont's mansion, +where, even in her peril, poor Alice Martell could picture Harcourt +at Addie's side, and she forgotten. As the imagined scene rose +vividly before her, the wild thought passed through her mind: "Since +it must be so, perhaps I can find more rest beneath these waters +than in my home yonder. It may be for the best, after all, and God +designs mercy in what at first seemed so terrible." + +As people saw Miss Marten's quiet and rather distant bearing +in society, as many admired her chiselled and faultlessly refined +features, they little imagined that, as within snowy mountains are +volcanic fires, so within her breast was kindling as passionate a +love as ever illumined a woman's life with happiness, or consumed +it with a smouldering flame. + +But death is stern and uncompromising, and snatches away all +disguises,--even those which hide us from ourselves. In bitterness +of heart the poor girl learned, while darker than the night the +shadow of death hovered over her, how intense was her love for +one who she believed loved another. If but a hand's breadth away, +beneath the rushing tide, there was a remedy for the pain at her +heart, why need she fear? + +"My child," said a tremulous voice. + +Then, with a natural and remorseful rush of love for one who had +been as tender towards her as a mother since that mother commended +her to his care, she put her arms around him and whispered, "I am +not afraid, father. Mother and heaven may be nearer than we think." + +"Thank God, my child,--thank God you are not afraid. I was trembling +for you,--not myself. You are young, and I trusted that there was +a happy life before you. But the home where mother is promises me +far more than the one yonder, whose lights are growing so faint." + +"I am not afraid, dear father. I am content, if it's God's will, +to go to that better home and be with you and mother." + +"God bless you, my child; and blessed be the God of mercy who has +given you so true a faith. It would be terrible to me beyond words +if now you were full of hopeless dread." + +But the poor oarsman had no such faith,--only the memory of his +dependent wife and children, and his material life, which never +before had seemed so sweet and precious. He kept shouting for aid +until exhausted, and then despairingly sat down to await the result. + +Mr. Martell, in the true Christian spirit, sought to impart to +his humble companion in peril some of his own confidence in God's +mercy and goodness; but in vain. An intelligent, sustaining faith +cannot be snatched like a life-preserver in the moment of danger; +and the man appeared scarcely to heed what was said. + +Downward and past the twinkling lights of many comfortable homes +the remorseless tide still swept them, until the huge outlines of +the two mountains at the portal of the Highlands loomed out of the +darkness. + +"If we get down among the mountains, we might as well give up," +said the oarsman, sullenly. "We might as well be cast away at +sea as down in that wild gorge; though for that matter it seems, +to-night, as if one's neighbors wouldn't step out of doors to keep +a body from drowning. Why no one has heard us is more than I can +understand, unless it is accordin' to the old sayin', 'None's so +deaf as them as won't hear.'" + +But there was nothing strange in the fact that they had been unnoted. +The north wind blew their voices down the river. There was a noisy +surf upon the shore, and those who chanced to see the light supposed +it to come from some craft hastening to its winter quarters near +the city. So fate seemed against them, and they drifted down and +down until the black shadow of "Storm King" swallowed them up. + +But now they became conscious that their motion was growing less +steady and rapid. A little later, and the floe apparently paused +in its downward progress, and there was only some slight movement +caused by the increasing gale. + +Then came what seemed interminable hours of weary waiting under +the sombre shadow of "Cro' Nest" mountain. The strange and almost +irresistible drowsiness that severe cold induces began to creep +over Miss Martell, but her father pleaded with her to fight against +it; and, more for his sake than her own, she tried. They took turns +in endeavoring to break the ice around them with the boat-hook. The +exercise kept their blood in circulation, but was of little avail +in other respects. The ice was too heavy and solid for their feeble +strokes. + +At last the tide turned, and the dreary, monotonous waiting in +their hopeless position was exchanged for an upward movement that +would soon bring them above the mountains again, where, from the +thickly peopled shores, there would be a better chance of being +seen and rescued. + +There was no certainty that they would be missed, and therefore +sought for, as the coachman, not finding them on his return, might +conclude that they had been prevailed upon to remain all night with +the friend they were visiting. + +But any exchange from the black, rayless shadows that surrounded +them would be a relief; and it was with a faint feeling of +hopefulness--that they recognized their movement northward, which +slowly increased in speed as the tide gained mastery of the slight +natural current of the river. + +The strengthening northern gale had thrown up quite a "sea," and +the experienced oarsman soon saw that the ice-field by which they +were surrounded was breaking up under the influence of the waves. +This might at last bring relief, or increase their danger. If the +ice should all break up around them and leave their boat tight and +sound, they could tow ashore. If the boat had been or should become +so injured as to leak badly, it might fill with water before they +could reach land. Thus, in any case, the trying nature of their +peculiar position was aggravated by a terrible uncertainty and +suspense. + +As they emerged from the Highlands into the broad waters of Newburgh +Bay, their worst fears seemed about to be realized. Here, for many +miles, the north wind had an unrestrained sweep, and the waves grew +larger and more violent. Under their increasing force the ice-floe +crumbled around them rapidly, until at last little was left save +the mass of double thickness caused by the union of the two large +cakes between which the boat had been caught. This, at last, began +to give under the weight of the boat, and let it more deeply into +the water. Then, to their dismay, they saw that the seams of the +boat had been so wrenched apart that the water came in rapidly. + +They tried to keep it down by baling. The frosty gale tossed Mr. +Martell's white hair, while with his hat he worked, in pathetic +earnestness, for the sake of his daughter; but in spite of all +that he and the oarsman could do, the water gained on them, wetting +their feet and creeping up their legs with the icy chili of death. + +Every moment or two the man would pause in his work and send forth +a cry of such terrible power and earnestness that it would seem +some one must hear. + +Again Alice Martell saw the distant lights of her own home, but she +turned from them to those that gleamed from the nearer residence +of Mrs. Marchmont. Was he there, safe and happy, looking love into +the eyes of Addie Marchmont, while every moment she sank lower into +the cold river? The thought sent a deeper chill to her heart than +the icy tide from which she could no longer keep her feet. + +"God and man is agin us," said the oarsman, savagely. "What is +the use of trying any longer! The sooner it's over the better"; and +he was about to give up in despair. Alice, with equal hopelessness +of any earthly aid, was about to turn her eyes from the faint rays +which, barbed with the thoughts suggested above, pierced her heart +like arrows, when the throwing open of the hall-door by Hemstead +let out such a broad streaming radiance as attracted her notice. +By calling the attention of the others to it, she inspired in them +a faint hope. + +But when, soon after, the door was closed, and the lights had +their usual appearance, the flicker of hope sank down into a deeper +darkness. + +Alice turned to her father, and in close embrace and with a oneness +of spirit and hope that needed not outward expression, they silently +lifted their thoughts from the dark earth to the bright heaven +whose portals they soon expected to enter. + +Just then a voice from earth recalled them to earthly hope and the +prospect of human help. It was Hemstead's shout of encouragement +from the shore. Then they saw the glimmer of a lantern moving +hither and thither; a moment later it became stationary, then shot +out towards them. + +With cries of joy they recognized that they had been seen, and that +an attempt to rescue them was being made. + +In the apathy of their despair the water had gained dangerously; +but with the energy of hope, that is ever greater than that of fear +or despair, they set to work anew. Again the wintry winds tossed +Mr. Martell's white hair, as for want of something better he baled +with his hat, and Alice's little numb hands were lifted every moment +as if in pathetic appeal, as she dipped them in the ice-cold water +at her feet, and threw out a tiny cupful, which the gale carried +away in spray. + +"Come quick. We can't keep afloat much longer," cried the oarsman. + +"Ay, ay," shouted the ex-sailor in a voice as hoarse as the winds +in the cordage of his old ship. + +"Courage!" cried Hemstead; and his tones, in contrast, rang out +like a bugle, inspiring hope in the chilled hearts of those who, +a little before, had despaired, and also sending an almost equal +thrill of delight to the heart of Lottie Marsden, as, with the +half-frenzied Harcourt, she stood in Mrs. Marchmont's open door. + +The sailor-coachman was a good oarsman, and Hemstead pulled fairly. +Both were very strong, and they drove the boat through the short, +chopping waves, rather than over them, caring not how much water +was shipped. + +A little later came the shout, "Quick, quick! The ice is giving +under us, and the boat sinking." + +"Oh! come!--save my father!" cried Alice Martell, in a tone that +might have moved the very ice around her to pity. + +"My child, my child!" came the agonized voice of the father. "Never +think of me, if you can save her." + +Hemstead's nature was anthracite, and now glowed at white heat +in his grand excitement. He was no longer a man, but a giant, and +would have ruined everything, snapped his oars, dragged the oar-pins +from their sockets, thus rendering his massive strength utterly +useless, had not the cool, wary ex-sailor taken command of the little +craft, and insisted on seamanship. Under his skilful direction the +student was like a powerful engine, with a steady, measured stroke, +and the boat fairly flew, until their oars struck floating ice, and +then they had to slacken up, for to strike a mass of ice at their +speed would be to sink at once. + +"Steady now," cried the ex-sailor. "You pull; I will stand and +steer." + +Their boat was roughly grazed several times, but glided through +without serious injury. + +"Now or never!" cried the oarsman; "we're sinking." + +Alice hid her face on her father's breast. Life had grown strangely +sweet during the brief time since, at Hemstead's voice, hope had +revived; and it seemed a bitter thing to perish almost within the +grasp of rescuing hands. + +"Oh! come!" groaned the father. "Great God! this is hard." + +With a despairing cry she heard the water rush and gurgle around +her, and closed her eyes, not expecting to open them again in this +world. But strong hands grasped and lifted her drenched, helpless +form tenderly into the boat. + +With mingled hope and fear she looked up, and by the lantern's +light recognized Frank Hemstead. + +"My father," she gasped. + +"Safe, my darling, thank God," said Mr. Martell, taking her into +his arms; "and they have pulled our stout oarsman in, too. So we +are all safe." + +"Well, I hope so," said the ex-sailor, with a little depressive +dubiousness. "We shipped a sight o' water comin' out. There's +a deal of ice runnin', and so chopped up one can skerce see it. +I must be skipper and all, mind, if we are to come safe out. Here, +Mr. Hemstead, you bale; and you, too, messmate, if yer hain't +shipped too much water yerself. I'll sit well up towards the bow, +where I can see and pull around the ice. Besides, with this cargo, +we've got to cross the waves kind o' easy and keerful, or they'll +swamp us." + +Thus in this instance the ex-sailor appeared a special providence, +and gradually took them out of the ice-strewn tide in the centre of +the river to smoother, clearer water nearer the shore. Soon after, +drenched and half-frozen, they reached Mrs. Marchmont's boat-house. + +Miss Martell's powers of endurance were nearly exhausted; and when +the lantern, held aloft, revealed Harcourt's pale face,--when she +knew that it was his arms that received her in her helplessness, +and she heard him murmur, "I now believe there's a merciful God, and +thank Him,"--in the strong reaction of feeling she became unconscious. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +THE MEETING AND GREETING. + + + + + +Mr. Martell's garments were frozen upon him, and he was so stiff +and numb with cold that with difficulty he made his way up the +bank with the support of De Forrest and the gallant coachman, who +had suddenly blossomed out into a hero. Harcourt and Hemstead formed +with their hands what is termed a "chair," and bore the apparently +lifeless form of Miss Martell swiftly towards Mrs. Marchmont's +residence. The poor oarsman was so glad to be on solid ground once +more that he was able to hobble along at a good pace by himself. + +The wind again played mad pranks with Lottie's hair as she at last +stood impatiently on the piazza, and then dashed off through the +snow to meet them. + +"O, thank God, you are safely back. But Miss Martell--she is +not--she is not--" + +"Don't suggest such a thing," groaned Harcourt. "Of course she has +only fainted." + +Hemstead could not speak, even to Lottie. With white face and set +teeth he sought to keep up to the end. The effort he was now putting +forth was less that of muscle than sheer force of will. As with +Miss Martell, he, too, was reacting from the tremendous strain that +the last hour had brought. He trembled with almost mortal weakness +as he slowly mounted the piazza steps. He staggered under his share +of their burden as he crossed the hall. Lottie, puzzled by his +silence, now saw his deathly pallor with alarm, and instinctively +stood at his side. + +"You had better take Miss Martell directly to her room," said Mrs. +Marchmont. + +"In here, quick," gasped Hemstead. He tottered to the nearest sofa, +and, a second later, lay unconscious at Miss Martell's feet. + +At this moment Alice again became conscious. Hemstead's condition +did more to revive her than all restoratives; for, woman-like, she +thought of him more than herself. She sat up and exclaimed faintly: +"O, can't something be done for him? Quick. It looks as if he had +given his life for us"; and she looked around, not far enough to +see the expression of Harcourt's face as he welcomed her back to +consciousness, but only to see Addie clinging to his arm, repeatedly +asking to be assured that he was not hurt. + +"Thank heaven you are safe," he bent down and whispered. + +"Don't think of me. Look at Mr. Hemstead." + +Again he misunderstood her, and with bitterness thought, "After +all my anguish on her account, she gives me not even a thought, and +her first words are, 'Don't think of me';" and he felt that fate +had been very cruel in sending Hemstead to her rescue instead of +himself. + +Mrs. Marchmont now appeared upon the confused scene, and proved +that she was equal to the occasion. It was a sad pity that she had +not imparted to her daughter a little of her own capability. She +bade De Forrest, and the still stout and hearty ex-sailor, carry +Hemstead at once to his room, while she and one of the maids +assisted Miss Martell to hers. No opportunity whatever was given +for any romantic and affecting scenes. + +Lottie had stood for a second in dismay, after seeing her "true +knight" sink on the floor, and then, like a sensible girl, instead +of going off into hysterics, went like a flash to her aunt's +wine-closet for brandy. But before she could find it Mrs. Marchmont +had caused both the rescued and the rescuer to be conveyed to the +privacy of their own rooms, where they could at once receive the +prosaic treatment that their condition required. + +The room which a moment before had presented a scene which she +would never forget was empty, Harcourt having gone for a physician. + +She met Mr. Dimmerly on the stairs, who took the brandy from her, +saying: "That's sensible. We'll rub him down with it, inside and +out, and he'll be all right in the morning. Now you see how blood +tells. Making a parson of him can't change the fact of his coming +from an old family. He has been as brave to-night as the Dimmerlys +were a thousand years ago." + +But Lottie was not a bit interested in the millennial Dimmerlys, +and, putting her arms around her uncle's neck in a way that surprised +that ancient fossil, she coaxed: + +"Won't you promise me, uncle, that as soon as he is safe you will +come out and let me know?" + +"Safe! He's safe now. Who ever heard of even a half-blooded Dimmerly +dying from a mere faint? Old age is the only disease that runs +in our family, my dear. But I will let you know as soon as he +is comfortably asleep. I am going to make my proper parson nephew +almost drunk, for once in his life; and you needn't expect to see +him much before ten o'clock to-morrow." + +Lottie, finding her services were not needed in Miss Martell's +room, went down to the kitchen, where she found the half-frozen +oarsman-now rigged out in the dress-coat and white vest of the +colored waiter--and the brave coachman who had put his old sea-craft +to such good use. They were being royally cared for by the cook +and laundress. The poor fellow who out in the boat had thought that +the hearts of even his neighbors were as cold and hard as the ice +that was destroying them had now forgotten his misanthropy, and +was making a supper that, considering the hour, would threaten to +an ordinary mortal more peril than that from which he had escaped. +She drew from him--and especially from the coachman--the narrative +of their thrilling experience, and every moment Hemstead grew more +heroic in her eyes. + +"Bless you, miss," said the bluff ex-sailor, his tongue a little +loosened by the whiskey he had taken as an antidote for the cold +and wet, "there's stuff enough in him to make a hundred such as +t'other young gentleman as wouldn't go. Sudden spells, like that +he had t'other night, is all he'll ever be'stinguished for, I'm +a-thinking. But I ax your pardon, miss." + +"I can forgive you anything to-night, my brave fellow," said Lottie, +blushing. "Though you have given Mr. Hemstead so much credit, he will +give you more to-morrow. Take this and get something to remember +this evening by"; and she slipped a twenty-dollar bank-note into +his hand. + +"Now bless your sweet eyes!" exclaimed the man, ducking and bobbing +with bewildering rapidity; "it's your kindness that'll make me +remember the evening to my dying day." + +"How could you speak so of Mr. De Forrest, when the young leddy +is engaged to him?" said the cook, reproachfully, after Lottie had +gone. + +"No matter," said the ex-sailor, stoutly. "I've had it on my +conscience to give her a warnin'. I hadn't the heart to see such a +trim little craft run into shallow water, and hoist no signal. If +she was my darter, she'd have to mitten that lubber if he was wuth +a million." + +As Lottie passed through the hall with silent tread, she saw that +De Forrest was in the parlor, and to escape him continued on up to +her room, musing as she went: "What a strange blending of weakness +and strength Mr. Hemstead is! Well, I should like that. I should +like a man to be as strong as Samson generally, but often so weak +that he would have to lean on me." + +Whom did Lottie mean by that indefinite word "man"? It did not +occur to her that there was a very definite image in her mind of +one who was pale and exhausted, and whom it would now be a dear +privilege to nurse back into strength and vigor. + +She met her uncle and the physician in the upper hall, and the latter +said: "Mr. and Miss Martell are doing as well as could be expected, +when we consider the fearful ordeal they have passed through. As +far as I can foresee, a few days' rest and quiet will quite restore +them." + +"And Mr.--Mr. Hemstead?" faltered Lottie, the color mounting into +her face, that anxiety had made unwontedly pale. + +"The brave fellow who rescued them? Now he is the right kind of +a dominie,--not all white choker and starch. No fear about him, +Miss Marsden. He's made of good stuff, well put together. A night's +rest and a warm breakfast, and he will be himself again"; and the +old doctor bustled away. + +"What delightful prose!" thought Lottie, and she tripped lightly +to her room and kissed the sullen and offended Bel good night; and, +very grateful and at peace with all the world, soon fell asleep. + +But she had a disagreeable dream. Again she saw Hemstead at Miss +Martell's feet; but now, instead of being pale and unconscious, +his face was flushed and eager, and he was pleading for that which +the king cannot buy. She awoke sobbing, called herself a "little +fool," and went to sleep again. + +But in the morning the dream lingered in her mind in a vague, +uncomfortable way. + +She was early down to breakfast, for she was eager to speak to +Hemstead, and tell him how she appreciated his heroism. But either +his exhaustion was greater than the physician had believed, or his +uncle's sedatives were very powerful, for he did not appear. + +There was nothing better for her than to endure De Forrest's +explanations why he had not gone, and his assurances that if he had +"only known, etc."; to which she gave an impatient hearing, quite +unlike her gentleness of the two preceding days. There were little +things in her manner Which indicated a falling barometer, and +suggested that the day might not pass serenely. + +She learned from her aunt and uncle that Mr. and Miss Martell were +feeling better than might have been expected, and that Hemstead +was still sleeping. + +"Sleep was all he wanted," said Mr. Dimmerly; "and I made it my +business he should get it." + +Quite early in the forenoon, Mr. Martell and his daughter felt +equal to coming down to the parlor, and after dinner it was their +intention to return home. A luxurious lounge was wheeled near the +blazing wood fire, and on this Miss Mar-tell was tenderly placed +by her father, who, in joyful gratitude, could scarcely take his +eyes from her pale face. Beyond the natural languor which would +follow so terrible a strain, she seemed quite well. + +Both father and daughter appreciated Mrs. Marchmont's courtesy +greatly; and Miss Martell's effort to be cordial, even to Addie, +was quite pathetic, when it is remembered that she felt that her +supposed rival would harm her more than could the cold river. + +Lottie made frequent errands to her room, and lingered in the hall +as much as she could without attracting notice, in the hope of +seeing Hemstead a moment alone. The impulsive girl's warm heart +was so full of admiration for what he had done that she longed to +show him her appreciation without the chilling restraint of observant +eyes and critical ears. But he was so blind to his interests as to +blunder into the parlor when she was there and every one else also. + +Though it cost her great effort, Alice Martell rose instantly, and +greeted him so cordially as to bring the deepest crimson into his +pale face. Mr. Martell also pressed to his side, speaking words +which only a grateful father could utter. + +When, for any cause, Hemstead was the object of general attention, +the occasion became the very hour and opportunity for his awkward +diffidence to assert itself, and now he stood in the centre of the +floor, the most angular and helpless of mortals. + +De Forrest looked at him with disdain, and thought, "I would like +to show him how a gentleman ought to act under the circumstances." + +De Forrest would have been equal to receiving all the praise, and +as it was, in view of his readiness to have saved Miss Martell if +he "had only known," could have accepted, with graceful complacency, +a gratitude that quite overwhelmed the man of deeds. + +Hemstead's confusion was so great as even to embarrass Miss Martell +for a moment, and her face, from reminding one of a lily, suddenly +suggested an exquisite pink rose. But before he was aware she +had ensconced him in an easy chair at her side, and with a tact +peculiarly her own had rallied his panic-stricken faculties into +such order that he could again take command of them. + +But as Lottie saw them grasping each other's hands and blushing, +her dream recurred to her with the force of an ominous prophecy. +Hemstead, in his severe attack of diffidence, had not greeted any. +one on his entrance, but had fallen helplessly into Miss Kartell's +hands, and had been led to his chair like a lamb to the slaughter. +But Lottie took it as much to heart as if he had purposely neglected +to speak to her. And when, a little later, Mr. Dimmerly commenced +a formal eulogy, Hemstead with an expression of intense annoyance +raised his hand deprecatingly, and pleaded that no one would speak +again of what he had done, she feared that all the glowing words +she meant to say would be unwelcome after all. + +Everything had turned out so differently from what she had +anticipated that she was disappointed above measure, and before he +could collect his scattered wits she left the room. + +"And so it all ends," she thought bitterly, as she chafed up and +down the hall. "I sent him out last night as my own 'true knight,' +wearing my colors, and he rescues another woman. When I see him again +he brushes past me to speak to the one who, owing him so much, of +course will be grateful. With eyes for her alone he wears my colors +in his face, and she raises the same blood-red signal. I was looking +forward to the pleasure of giving him a welcome that he might value +on his return, and he has not even spoken to me. After our parting +last night could anything have turned out more flat and prosaic?" + +Just at this moment Harcourt, who was another victim of circumstances, +entered, and Lottie, too annoyed to meet any one, fled to her own +room. + +He had already called early in the morning, to inquire aftei the +invalids; but Miss Martell did not know this, and his coming now +seemed a little dilatory, considering all they had passed through. +Deep in her heart there was disappointment that he had not come to +her rescue instead of Hemstead. Was he one to stand safely on the +shore while others took risks from which true manhood would not +have shrunk? Could he have dreamt that she was in peril, and still +have let Hemstead go without him to her aid? These were thoughts +that had distressed her during part of a sleepless night and all +the morning. + +Moreover, when he entered, Addie had pounced upon him in her usual +style, as if she had in him certain rights of possession. + +Addie's manner, together with her own thoughts, gave an involuntary +tinge of coldness to Miss Martell's greeting, which he was quick +to recognize, while her cordiality to Hemstead suggested to him, +as to Lottie, that she might be very grateful. + +Mr. Martell was more than slightly distant: he was stiff and formal. +As circumstances then appeared to him, he thought that Harcourt had +acted a very unworthy part. Mr. Martell naturally supposed that +both Harcourt and De Forrest were at Mrs. Marchmont's, but that +only Hemstead had been willing to venture to their assistance. To +De Forrest he gave scarcely a thought, having accurately estimated +that superficial youth's light weight. But that Harcourt, the son +of his old and dear friend, should have so failed in manly duty, +was a bitter trial. As he saw him and Addie together, he thought +contemptuously, "They are well mated, after all. How strange that +my peerless daughter can have such a regard for him!" + +He had become aware of his daughter's preference, though, out of +delicate regard for her feelings, he had feigned blindness. + +Even had Harcourt known how greatly they misjudged him, in his +sensitive pride he would have made no explanations; and he was the +last one in the world to tell them, as would De Forrest, how he +meant to go to their aid, etc. + +His manner puzzled Alice. She could not help noting with a +secret satisfaction that, while polite, he was annoyed at Addie's +demonstrativeness; and at times she thought his eyes sought her +face almost as if in appeal. But her own and her father's manner +had evidently chilled him, and he soon took his leave. His face, in +which pride and dejection contended for mastery, haunted her like +a reproach. + +"If Mr. Harcourt had only arrived a little earlier last evening, +Miss Martell," said De Forrest, complacently, "you would have had +three to thank instead of one. I'm sure if I had known that you +and your father--" + +"How is that?" asked Mr. Martell, quickly. "Was not Mr. Harcourt +spending the evening here?" + +"O, no. It was from him we first learned of your peril. He came +tearing over like mad, a few moments after the coachman and Mr. +Hemstead had gone; then he dashed off to the shore, where I soon +joined him. I thought at one time," continued De Forrest, glad to +say anything that would dim the glory of Hemstead's achievements, +"that he would start out into the river with no better support than +a plank, so eager was he to go to your aid. If we could only have +found another boat we would have both gone. As it was, it was well +I was there to restrain him, for he seemed beside himself." + +The rich color mounted to Miss Martell's face as she gave her father +a swift glance of glad intelligence, and he drew a long breath of +relief, as if some heavy burden had been lifted. + +"Yes," said Mrs. Marchmont, quietly, but at the same time fixing +an observant eye on the young lady; "I never gaw Mr. Harcourt so +moved before." + +Conscious of Mrs. Marchmont's object, Alice mastered herself at +once, and with equal quietness answered: "It would be strange if +it were otherwise. We have been acquainted from childhood." + +Nevertheless, the experienced matron surmised danger to the +match which she would gladly bring about between her daughter and +Harcourt; and instead of fearing, as was the case with the latter +and Lottie, she hoped that Miss Martell would be very grateful to +Hemstead. + +And so she appeared to be, for she talked to him so enchantingly, +and for a time absorbed him so completely, that Lottie entered +unobserved, and remained so a few moments. Then his eyes, that from +the moment he gained composure had seemed in quest of something, +lighted on her as she sat a little back of him, apparently absorbed +in her fancy-work. He wanted to speak to her, and yet what could +he say before them all? + +The telltale color was again in his face, and his wretched diffidence +returned. Neither courtesy nor his heart would permit him to ignore +her and continue his conversation with Miss Martell. And yet it +had seemed easier to go in a boat out among the ice than to think +of any proper way to recognize the presence of one in whose eyes +he had a morbid anxiety to appear well. + +Lottie saw his dilemma, and, while she too began to blush absurdly, +would not help him, and her head bent lower than ever over her +work. + +"Serves him right," she thought. "If he had only met me in the +hall, I might--well, I wouldn't have been an icicle." + +At last Hemstead concluded that he could safely say "good morning"; +and he did so in a very awkward manner over his shoulder. + +"Did you speak to me?" asked Lottie, as if suddenly aroused. + +"Yes," he replied, under the painful necessity of repeating something +that had sounded very flat in the first place, "I said good morning." + +"O, excuse me. As it is so late I bid you good afternoon." + +Her manner as well as her words so quenched poor Hemstead that he +did not venture another syllable; and thus Lottie and her "true +knight" had the meeting to which, in remembrance of their parting, +both had looked forward with strange thrills of expectation. + +But in the light of their flaming cheeks Miss Martell caught a +glimpse of their hearts; and Mrs. Marchmont was again led to fear +that more was going on than should be permitted by so good a manager +as herself. + +The dinner-bell soon brought welcome relief to all, breaking the +spell of awkward constraint. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +THE TRAIL OF LOVE. + + + + + +Miss Martell improved visibly, for a most depressing fear had been +removed. Though Harcourt might not return her love, he had not +proved himself unworthy of it, by actual cowardice, or even by +unmanly regard for personal ease. It also appeared that more than +general philanthropy must have spurred him on, or he could not have +acted as if "beside himself." + +The hungry heart will take even the crumbs of regard that fall from +the hand which alone can satisfy. The thought that her old friend +and playmate had been far from indifferent to her fate was like a +subtile, exhilarating wine to Miss Martell. + +Her rising spirits, and her wish to show appreciation of Mrs. +Marchmont's courtesy, made her as brilliant as beautiful at the +dinner-table, while Lottie, in contrast, was silent and depressed. +The new-fledged little saint soon became conscious that for some +reason she was very jealous and very envious,--emotions which she +seldom had even imaginary cause to cherish towards any of her sex. + +Nor were Mrs. Marchmont and her daughter disposed to be very friendly +and responsive to Miss Martell's genial mood; but the young lady +was possessed of that strength of mind and high-bred courtesy which +enabled her to ignore the weaknesses and infelicities of those around +her, and to shine with her own pure light on all objects alike. + +Hemstead again was charmed with her,--a fact that his frankness +made plainly evident. Her bright thoughts elicited corresponding +ones from him, and Lottie was reluctantly compelled to admit to +herself that she had never before known Mrs. Marchmont's viands +to be seasoned with Attic salt of such high flavor. For the first +time the proud and flattered belle felt, in the presence of another +woman, a humiliating sense of her own inferiority. She clearly +recognized that Miss Martell was far in advance of her. How could +the student fail to be fascinated? Her mind was the equal of his +in force, and as highly cultivated. They were congenial in their +views and feelings, and of course she would be very grateful. + +Lottie's manner had puzzled Hemstead greatly. He was even more +disappointed than she had been over their prosaic meeting. In +his honest modesty, broad eulogy from the others was exceedingly +distasteful; and yet one of his chief incentives the evening before +had been the hope of a welcome back from Lottie, in which her eyes, +if not her tongue, would suggest the reward his heart craved. But +he had said "good morning," and she a little coldly had responded +"good afternoon." Moreover, she was strangely silent and depressed. +What could it mean? and what the cause? That it was himself never +entered his mind. + +Her bearing towards De Forrest, which was anything but genial, +finally led him to believe that she was again deeply mortified by +her lover's lack of manhood, and that she was depressed because of +her relation to one who had failed so signally, the evening before, +in those qualities that women most admire. + +While lingering over the dessert, Mr. Martell's sleigh was announced. + +"It as my purpose to send you home," exclaimed Mrs. Marchmont. +"Indeed, I had ordered my horses to be at the door within half an +hour." + +"I appreciate your kindness," said Mr. Martell, "but after the +heroic efforts of your amphibious coachman last night, I should +feel guilty if we broke in upon his rest to-day." + +"I'm glad you recognize his merit," said Hemstead, quickly. "You +owe far more to him than to me"; and he launched out into the most +hearty eulogy of the ex-sailor. + +Then, for the first time, Lottie's old, mirthful laugh was heard, +as she said: "Well, in one respect, Mr. Hemstead, you and the +coachman are birds of a feather, and rare birds at that. He gives +you all the credit of the rescue, and you insist that you had nothing +to do with it, but only went along for company, as it were. But I +think we all surmised the truth, when you fainted from exhaustion +at Miss Martell's feet. That was a very happy chance, and so it +all turned out as well as any knight of old could have desired." + +This sudden speech from Lottie bewildered Hemstead more than ever. +What could she mean? But Miss Martell understood her better, and +gave a keen thrust in return as she smilingly answered, "With the +only exception that Mr. Hemstead fainted at the feet of the wrong +lady." + +This unexpected retort threw both Hemstead and Lottie into disastrous +confusion, which Mrs, Marchmont was not slow to observe, and which +was not allayed by Mr. Dimmerly's cackling laugh, as he chuckled, +"A well-flown arrow." + +"Well," said Hemstead, trying to laugh it off, "all I can say in +self-defence is, that in either case my faint could not be spelled +with an e. It was the first, and I hope it will be the last time +I ever do anything so melodramatic." + +"Mr. Hemstead must be an ideal knight, as we learn from his phrase +'in either case,'" said Lottie. "He would have us believe that he +is entirely impartial in his homage to our sex. And, now I think of +it, he was more polite to old Auntie Lammer than ever he has been +to me." + +"Now, Miss Marsden," said Hemstead, reproachfully, "you are again +indulging in orientalism." + +"Certainly," chimed in De Forrest; "that sylph so filled his eye +that she became his ideal, as you told us, Miss Lottie." + +"I told you?" she answered in sudden annoyance; "your memory is +better than mine." + +Soon after, Mr. Martell and his daughter took their departure, with +many sincere and graceful acknowledgments of the kindness they had +received. + +Many were the words of force and wisdom that Miss Martell had read +and heard, but never had any made so profound an impression upon +her as the vain vaporings of De Forrest, as he insisted on claiming +all the credit he could for his action the evening before. + +"Did he exaggerate," she asked herself a hundred times, "when he +said, 'It was well I was there; for Mr. Harcourt was beside himself, +and was ready to venture out upon a plank to your aid'? I fear he +did." + +Her father surmised something of her thoughts and said gently, "I +fear we have done Mr. Harcourt injustice." + +"Yes, father," she answered, "I think we have." + +"Well," he said, after a moment, "I never had a pleasanter duty +than the amends I purpose making. It cut me to the heart to think +the son of my old friend had permitted a stranger to come to our +rescue." + +"I feel sure that Mr. Harcourt would have come also, had it been +in his power," she said, with quiet emphasis. + +"You always stood up for Tom," said her father, gently. + +But she made no answer. + +Mr. Martell then questioned his coachman somewhat. + +"Indade, sir, we was all putty nigh crazy when Mr. Harcourt druv +in late last night and said you were safe. He told me to come-over +this morning and get your orders, and to have the house ready for +yez." + +"Now that was considerate. I feel, my daughter, that we owe +Mr. Harcourt an apology. Do you feel equal to entertaining him at +supper?" + +"I will try, father." + +"Drive right on up to town," said Mr. Martell, a little later, from +the steps of his piazza, "and present my compliments to Mr. Harcourt, +and ask him if he will favor us with his company at supper." + +Alice gave him a shy, grateful glance, and then sought her room. + +As she was unwrapping herself before her mirror, she noted that a +pane of glass in the window near was badly cracked, and that the +lace curtain above was torn partially from its fastening. + +As her maid entered she asked how it happened. + +The woman in evident confusion answered: "Indeed, miss, I meant to +mend the curtain this morning, but I've not had me head straight +since last evening." + +"But how did it happen?" persisted Alice. "Who could have been so +rough and careless?" + +"Well," said the maid, hesitatingly, "it must have been Mr. Harcourt." + +"Mr. Harcourt!" + +"Well, you see, miss, he came last night to see you, for one of the +girls said he asked for you, and when he found you was out on the +river he just seemed beside himself. We was a-lookin' out upstairs, +and we first saw the light a-coming up after the tide turned, +and we screamed to him and the coachman, and Mr. Harcourt he came +upstairs like a gust o' wind. Your door stood open, and in he rushed +in a way that I thought he'd break everything." + +"There, that will do. I understand. You need not mend the curtain. +You must be tired after all your fright, and can rest awhile this +afternoon, as I shall." + +A beautiful color dawned in Alice's face. She was recovering from +her languor and weakness with marvellous rapidity. It was not +strange, for no elixir was ever distilled so potent as that which +now infused its subtile spirit into heart and brain. + +But a few hours before, the wayward but good-hearted companion of +her childhood, the manly friend of the present and future,--she +would permit herself to think of him in no other light,--had seemed +lost to her forever; to have had in fact no real existence; for +if Harcourt had been content to act De Forrest's part the evening +before, Alice Martell would have soon shaken off even his acquaintance. +But De Forrest's words had suggested that the Harcourt of her dreams +still existed. She had seen another trace of manly, considerate +feeling in his thoughtfulness of the servants' fears, and of their +comfort. And now the torn curtain and broken glass suggested the +impetuous action of one who thought of her peril rather than of +the trifles around him. + +Twice now she had been told that Harcourt was "beside himself," +and yet never had madness seemed so rational; and her eyes dwelt +on the marks of his frenzy before her with unmixed satisfaction. +If he had been cool then, her heart now would be cold. + +She could not rest, and at last thought that the frosty air would +cool the fever in her cheeks, and so wrapped herself for a walk +upon the broad \ piazza. Moreover, she felt, as Lottie had, that +she would be glad to have no eyes, not even her father's, witness +their meeting. She felt that she could act more naturally and +composedly if alone with him, and at the same time show the almost +sisterly regard through which she hoped to win him to his better +self. + +As she paced up and down the piazza, in the early twilight, her +attention was attracted to a spot where some one, instead of going +deliberately down the steps, had plunged off into the piled-up snow, +and then just opposite and beyond the broad path were tracks wide +apart, as if some one had bounded rather than run towards the river. + +She ceased her walk, and stood as one who had discovered a treasure. +Did these footprints and the torn curtain belong together? She felt +that it could not be otherwise. There was, then, no cold-blooded, +cowardly Harcourt, and traces of the real man grew clearer. + +"But how could he reach the river in that direction without risking +his neck?" and she indulged hi quite a panic as she remembered the +intervening steeps. She longed yet dreaded to see him, that she +might ask an explanation of the traces she had found; for, having +done him injustice, she generously meant to make him full amends. + +But to her great disapointment the sleigh now returned without him. + +"I left the message, miss," said the coachman, "but they told me +that Mr. Harcourt had a sudden business call to New York." + +Alice sought to draw the man out a little, and it was also her +habit to speak kindly to those in her employ; so she said: "I fear, +Burtis, you will be a little jealous of Mrs. Marchmont's coachman. +If it had not been for him we could not have escaped, I think." + +"Well, thank God, I'm not much behind him. If he stopped two +funerals, I stopped one." + +"Why, how is that, Burtis?" + +"Faix, miss, an' do ye see thim tracks there? They go straight to +the river, and it was Misther Harcourt as made them. He was jist +one second on the way after he saw the light, and by rinnin' an' +rollin' an' tumblin' he was at the boat-house in a wink. When I gets +there, a-puffin' an' a-blowin', he's unlocked the door by taeakin' +it in, and is a-haulin' at the ould boat; and because I wouldn't +lend a band in gettin' out the crazy ould craft that wouldn't float +a hundred foot, he swears at me in the most onchristian manner, +and tries to get it out alone. But ye know, miss, how he couldn't +do that, and soon he gives it up and falls to gnawin' his nails +like one beside himself, an' a-mutterin' how he must either'save +her or drown with her.' Then he dashed up the bank ag'in, and he +and his black hoss was off like a whirlwind. If the Naughty Tillus, +or any other thing as would float was here, ye'd had no need of Mrs. +Marchmont's coachman. But I thought he'd off wid me head because +I wouldn't help out wid the ould boat." + +Not a word or sign did Alice place in the way of the man's garrulity, +but rather manifested breathless interest, as with parted lips she +bent forward, encouraging him to go on. + +Was he not reciting an epic poem of which she was the heroine and +Harcourt the hero? The true epics of the world are generally told +in the baldest prose. + +"There was one thing I didn't like," continued the man, gathering +up his reins, "and I've thought I ought to speak of it to ye or ye's +father. All his talk was about savin' yerself, and not a whisper +of the ould gentleman, who has been so kind to him all his life. +It sounded kinder onnatteral like." + +"Very well, Burtis; you have done your duty in speaking to me, and +so need not say anything to Mr. Martell about it. I rather think +you have prevented a funeral, and perhaps I owe you as many thanks +as Mrs. Marchmont's coachman. At any rate you will find on Christmas +that you have not been forgotten." + +So the man drove to the stable with the complacent consciousness +of having done his duty and warned his mistress against a "very +onnatteral feelin'" in the young man. + +The moment he disappeared around the corner, Alice stood undecided +a moment, like a startled deer, and then sped down the path to +the boat-house. The snow was tramped somewhat by the big lumbering +feet of the coach-man, but had it not been, Alice now had wings. +The twilight was deepening, and she could not wait till the morrow +before following up this trail that led to the idol of her heart. + +She paused in the winding path when half-way down the bank, that +she might gloat over the mad plunges by which Harcourt had crossed +it, straight to the river. She followed his steps to the brink +of a precipice, and saw with a thrill of mingled fear and delight +where he had slid and fallen twenty feet or more. + +"How cruelly I have misjudged him!" she thought. "When he was here +eager to risk his life for me, my false fancy pictured him at Addie +Marchmont's side. And yet it was well I did not know the truth, +for it would have been so much harder to look death in the face so +long, with this knowledge of his friendship. How strangely he and +Addie act when together! But come, that is no affair of mine. Let +me be thankful that I have not lost the friend of my childhood." + +A little later she stood at the boat-house. The door hung by one +hinge only, and the large stone lay near with which he had crashed +it in. She entered the dusky place as if it had been a temple. Had +it not been consecrated by a service of love,--by the costliest +offering that can be made,--life? Here he had said he would save +her or perish with her; here he had sought to make good his words. + +She picked up one of the matches he had dropped, and struck it, +that she might look into the neglected boat. Never was the utter +unseaworthiness of a craft noted with such satisfaction before. + +"While I vilely thought he would not venture to our aid at all, he +strained every nerve to launch this old shell. Thanks to obstinate +Burtis, who would not help him." + +She struck another match, that she might look more closely; then +uttered a pitiful cry. + +"Merciful heaven! is this blood on this rope? It surely is. Now +I think of it, he kept his right hand gloved this morning, and +offered his left to Mr. Hemstead in salutation. Father and I, in +our cruel wrong, did not offer to take his hand. And yet it would +seem that he tugged with bleeding hands at these ropes, that he +might almost the same as throw away his life for us. + +"I can scarcely understand it. No brother could do more. He was +braver than Mr. Hemstead, for he had a stanch boat, and experienced +help, while my old playmate was eager to go alone in this wretched +thing that would only have floated him out to deep water where he +would drown. + +"Ah, well, let the future be what it may, one cannot be utterly +unhappy who has loved such a man. If he is willing to give his +life up for me, I surely can get him to give up his evil, wayward +tendencies, and then I must be content." + +She now began to experience reaction from her strong excitement, +and wearily made her way back to the house. + +Her father met her at the door, and exclaimed, "Why, Alice, where +have you been? You look ready to sink!" + +"I have been to the boat-house, father," she replied, in a low, +quick tone; "and I wish you would go there to-morrow, for you will +there learn how cruelly we have misjudged Mr. Harcourt." + +"But, my child, I am troubled about you. You need quiet and rest +after all you have passed through"; and he hastily brought her a +glass of wine. + +"I needed more the assurance that my old friend and playmate was +not what we thought this morning," she said, with drooping eyes. + +"Well, my darling, we will make amends right royally. He will +be here to-morrow evening, and you shall have no occasion to find +fault with me. But please take care of yourself. You do not realize +what you have passed through, and I fear you are yet to suffer the +consequences." + +But more exhilarating than the wine which her father placed to her +lips was the nfemory of what she had seen. Hers was one of those +spiritual natures that suffer more through the mind than through the +body. She encountered her greatest peril in the fear of Harcourt's +unworthiness. + +Letters in the evening mail summoned her father to the city on the +morrow, and he left her with many injunctions to be very quiet. It +was evident that his heart and life were bound up in her. + +But as the day grew bright and mild she again found her way to the +boat-house. With greater accuracy she marked his every hasty step +from the house to the shore. Harcourt little thought in his wild +alarm that he was leaving such mute but eloquent advocates. + +Poor fellow! he was groaning over their harsh judgment, but vowing +in his pride that he would never undeceive them. He did not remember +that he had left a trail clear to dullest eyes, and conclusive as +a demonstration to the unerring instinct of a loving heart. + +He had gone to the city and accomplished his business in a mechanical +way. He returned with the first train, though why he scarcely knew. +He felt no inclination to visit at Mrs. Marchmont's any more, for +since he had come more fully under Miss Martell's influence Addie +had lost her slight hold upon him, and now her manner was growing +unendurable. He also felt that after Mr. Martell's coldness he +could not visit there again, and he doggedly purposed to give his +whole time to his business till events righted him, if they ever +did. + +But his stoical philosophy was put to immediate rout by Mr. Martell's +message, which he received on his return. Five minutes later he +was urging his black horse towards the familiar place at a pace but +a little more decorous than when seeking Hemstead's assistance on +the memorable even ing of the accident. + +"Miss Martell is out," stolidly said the woman who answered his +summons. + +As he was turning away in deep disappointment, Burtis appeared on +the scene, and with a complacent grin, remarked, "She's only down +by the boat-house, a-seein' howl saved ye from drownding." + +Harcourt slipped a bank-note into his hand, and said, "There's for +your good services now if not then," and was off for the water's +edge with as much speed as he dared use before observant eyes. + +"They must have found out from the old coachman that I was not +the coward they deemed me," he thought. "If so, I'll see he has a +merry Christmas." + +He saw Alice standing with her back towards him, looking out upon +the river, that now rippled and sparkled in the sunlight as if a +dark, stormy night had never brooded over an icy, pitiless tide. + +The soft snow muffled his steps, until at last he said, hesitatingly, +"Miss Martell." + +She started violently, and trembled as if shaken by the wind. + +"Pardon me," he said hastily. "It was very stupid in me to thus +startle you, but you seemed so intent on something upon the river +that I thought you would never see me." + +"I--I was not expecting you," she faltered. + +"Then I have done wrong--have been mistaken in coming." + +"O, no; I did not mean that. I thought you were in New York. We +expected you this evening." + +"Shall I go away then, and come back this evening?" + +"Yes; come back this evening, but do not go now,--that is, just +yet. I have something to say to you. Please forgive my confusion. +I fear my nerves have been shaken by what I have passed through." + +And yet such "confusion" in one usually so composed did puzzle +him, but he said hastily, feeling that it would be better to break +the ice at once, "I came here not to 'forgive,' but to seek your +forgiveness." + +"You seeking my forgiveness!" she said in unfeigned surprise. + +"Yes," he replied, humbly bowing his head. "Heaven knows that I +am weak and faulty enough, but when I have wronged any one, I am +willing to make acknowledgment and reparation. I cannot tell you +how eager I have been to make such acknowledgment to you, whom +I revere as my good angel. I acted like a fool in the chapel last +Monday afternoon, and did you great injustice. You have never shone +on me 'coldly and distantly like a star,' but again and again have +stooped from the height of your heavenly character that you might +lift me out of the mire. It's a mystery to me how you can do it. +But believe me, when I am myself, I am grateful; and," he continued +slowly, his square jaw growing firm and rigid, and a sombre, resolute +light coming into his large dark eyes, "if you will have patience +with me, I will yet do credit to the good advice, written in a +school-girl's hand, which I keep treasured in my room. Weak and +foolish as I have been, I should have been far worse were it not +for those letters, and--and your kindness since. But I am offending +you," he said sadly, as Alice averted her face. "However the future +may separate us, I wanted you to know that I gratefully appreciate +all the kindness of the past. I sincerely crave your forgiveness +for my folly last Monday. For some reason I was not myself. I was +blinded with--I said what I knew to be untrue. Though you might +with justice have shone on me as 'coldly and distantly as a star,' +you have treated me almost as a sister might. Please say that I am +forgiven, and I will go at once." + +Imagine his surprise when, as her only response, she said abruptly, +"Mr. Harcourt, come with me." + +His wonder increased as he saw that her eyes were moist with tears. + +She took him to the bluff, behind the boat-house, where in the +snow were the traces of one who had slid and fallen from a perilous +height. + +"What do these marks mean?" she asked, + +"It didn't hurt me any," he replied with rising color. + +"Did you stop to think at the time whether it would or not? Have +you thought what a chain of circumstantial evidence you left against +you on that dreadful night? Now come with me into the boat-house, +and let me tell you in the mean time that a lace curtain in my room +is sadly torn, and one of my window-panes broken." + +While he yet scarcely understood her, every fibre of his being was +beginning to thrill with hope and gladness; but he said deprecatingly: +"Please forgive my intrusion. In my haste that night I blundered +into a place where I had no right to be. No doubt I was very rough +and careless, but I was thinking of the pain of cold and fear which +you were suffering. I would gladly have broken that to fragments." + +"O, I am not complaining. The abundant proof that you were not +deliberate delights me. But come into the boat-house, and I will +convict both you and myself, and then we shall see who is the +proper one to ask forgiveness. What is this upon these ropes, Mr. +Harcourt? and how did it come here?" + +"O, that is nothing; I only bruised my hand a little breaking in +the door." + +"Is it nothing that you tugged with bleeding hands at these ropes, +that you might go alone in this wretched shell of a boat to our aid? +Why, Mr. Harcourt, it would not have floated you a hundred yards, +and Burtis told you so. Was it mere vaporing when you said, 'If +I cannot save them, I can at least drown with them'?" + +"No," he said impetuously, the blood growing dark in his face; "it +was not vaporing. Can you believe me capable of hollow acting on +the eve, as I feared, of the most awful tragedy that ever threatened?" + +"O, not the 'most awful'!" + +"The most awful to me." + +"No, I cannot. As I said before, I have too much circumstantial +evidence against you. Mr. Harcourt, true justice looks at the intent +of the heart. You unconsciously left abundant proof here of what +you intended, and I feel that I owe my life to you as truly as to +Mr. Hemstead. And yet I was so cruelly unjust yesterday morning as +to treat you coldly, because I thought my old friend and playfellow +had let strangers go to our help. With far better reason I wish to +ask your forgive--" + +"No, no," said Harcourt, eagerly; "circumstances appeared against +me that evening, and you only judged naturally. You have no +forgiveness to ask, for you have made amends a thousand-fold in +this your generous acknowledgment. And yet, Miss Martell, you will +never know how hard it was that I could not go to your rescue that +night. I never came so near cursing my destiny before." + +"I cannot understand it," said Alice, turning away her face. + +"It's all painfully plain to me," he said with a spice of bitterness. +"Miss Martell, I am as grateful to Hemstead as you are, for when +he saved you he also saved me. If you had perished, I feel that I +should have taken the counsel of an ancient fool, who said, 'Curse +God and die.'" + +She gave him a quick look of surprise, but said only, "That would +be folly indeed." + +He took her hand, and earnestly, indeed almost passionately +continued: "Miss Alice, I pray you teach me how to be a true man. +Have patience with me, and I will try to be worthy of your esteem. +You have made me loathe my old, vile self. You have made true +manhood seem so noble and attractive that I am willing to make +every effort, and suffer any pain,--even that of seeing you shine +upon me in the unapproachable distance of a star. Make me feel +that you do care what I become. Speak to me sometimes as you did +the other evening among the flowers. Give me the same advice that +I find in the old yellow letters which have been my Bible, and, +believe me, you will not regret it." + +Alice's hand trembled like a frightened bird as he held it in both +of his, and she faltered, "I never had a brother, but I scarcely +think I could feel towards one differently--" and then the truthful +girl stopped in painful confusion. Her love for Harcourt was not +sisterly at all, and how could she say that it was? + +But he, only too grateful, filled out the sentence for her, and in +a deep, thrilling tone answered, "And if my love for you is warmer +than a brother's,--more full of the deep, absorbing passion that +comes to us but once,--I will try to school it into patience, and +live worthily of my love for her who inspired it." + +Again she gave him a quick look of startled surprise, and said hastily, +"You forget yourself, sir. Such language belongs to another." + +"To another?" + +"Yes; to Miss Marchmont." + +"Miss Marchmont can claim nothing from me, save a slight cousinly +regard." + +"It is reported that you are engaged." + +"It's false," he said passionately. "It is true, that before you +returned, and while I was reckless because I believed you despised +me, I trifled away more time there than I should. But Miss Marchmont, +in reality, is as indifferent towards me as I towards her. I am +not bound to her by even a gossamer thread." + +Alice turned away her face, and was speechless. + +"And did you think," he asked reproachfully, "that I could love +her after knowing you?" + +"Love is blind," she faltered after a moment, "and is often guilty +of strange freaks. It does not weigh and estimate." + +"But my love for you is all that there is good in me. My love is +the most rational thing of my life." + +She withdrew her hand from his, and, snatching the rope that was +stained with his blood, she kissed it and said, "So is mine." + +"O Alice! what do you mean?" and he trembled as violently as she +had done when he startled her on the beach. + +She shyly lifted her blue eyes to his, and said, "Foolish Tom, +surely your love is blind." + +Then to Harcourt the door of heaven opened. + +When Mr. Martell returned, he saw by the firelight in his dusky +study that his daughter had made such ample amends that but little +was left for him to do; but he did that right heartily. + +Then the Christian man said, "Alice, compare this with the shadow +of 'Storm King,' and the grinding ice. Let us thank God." + +She gently replied, "I have, father." + +"But I have more reason to thank Him than either of you," said +Harcourt, brokenly, "for had you perished I should have been lost, +body and soul." + +"Then serve Him faithfully, my son,--serve Him as my old friend +your father did." + +"With His help I will." + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +HEMSTEAD'S ADVICE, AND LOTTIE'S COLORS. + + + + + +Soon after the departure of Mr. Martell and his daughter, Hemstead +pleaded headache, and retired to his room. Lottie, to escape De +Forrest, had also gone to hers, but soon after, at her brother's +solicitation, had accompanied him to a neighboring pond to make +sure that the ice was safe for him. But, though she yielded to Dan's +teasing, her compliance was so ungracious, and her manner so short +and unamiable, that with a boy's frankness he had said: "What is +the matter with you, Lottie? You are not a bit like Auntie Jane +to-day. I wish you could stay one thing two days together." + +As may be imagined, these remarks did not conduce to Lottie's serenity. +She did not understand herself; nor why she felt so miserable and +out of sorts. She had fallen into the "Slough of Despond," and +was experiencing that depression which usually follows overwrought +emotional states, and--her knight had disappointed her. + +Having learned that the ice was firm, and assisted her little +brother in putting on his skates, instead of returning at once to +the house, she sat down in a little screening clump of hemlocks, +and gave way to her feelings in a manner not uncommon with girls +of her mercurial temperament. + +Now it so happened that Hemstead, gazing listlessly from his window, +saw their departure, and soon afterward it occurred to him that +the fresh air would do his headache more good than moping in his +room. By a not unnatural coincidence, his steps tended in the same +direction as theirs, and soon he found Dan sprawling about the pond +in great glee over his partial success in skating; but Lottie was +nowhere to be seen. A sound from the clump of evergreens soon gained +his attention, and a moment later he stood at the entrance of her +wintry bower, the very embodiment of sympathy, and wondering greatly +at her distress. + +A stick snapped under his tread, and Lottie looked up hastily, +dashing the tears right and left. + +"What did you come for?" she asked brusquely. + +"Well, I suppose I must say in truth--I wanted to. I hope you won't +send me away." + +"You ought to have given me a little warning, and not caught me +crying like a great baby as I am." + +"I wish I were your friend," he said humbly. + +"Why so?" + +"Because you would then tell me your trouble, and let me try to +comfort you." + +"I haven't any trouble worth naming. I've just been crying like +a foolish child because I was out of sorts. There, don't look at +me so with your great, kind eyes, or I shall cry again, and I am +ashamed of myself now." + +"Something is troubling you, Miss Marsden, and I shall be very +unhappy if you send me away without letting me help you." + +"You would think me a fool if I told you," she faltered. + +"No one will ever charge you with being that." + +She gave him another of her quick, strange looks, like the one she +fixed upon him when he first moved her to tears by weaving about +her the 'spell of truth.' It was a look akin to that of a child who +learns by an intuitive glance whom it may trust. After a moment, +she said: "If you were less kind, less simple and sincere, I would +indeed send you away, and not very amiably either, I fear. And +yet I should like a few crumbs of comfort. I scarcely understand +myself. Monday and yesterday I was so strangely happy that +I seemed to have entered on a new life, and to-day I am as wicked +and miserable a little sinner as ever breathed. The idea of my +being a Christian!--never was farther from it. I've had nothing +but mean and hateful thoughts since I awoke." + +"And is this not a 'trouble worth naming'? In my judgment it is a +most serious one." + +"Do you think so?" she said gratefully. "But then I'm provoked +that I can be so changeable. Dan just said, 'I wish you could be +the same two days together,' and so do I." + +"Let us look into this matter," he said, sympathetically, sitting +down in a companionable way on the fallen tree beside her. "Let us +try to disentangle this web of complex and changing feeling. As the +physician treats the disordered body, you know it is my cherished +calling to minister to the disquieted mind. The first step is to +discover the cause of trouble, if possible, and remove that. Can +you not think of some cause of your present feelings?" + +Lottie averted her face in dismay, and thought, "What shall I do? +I can't tell him the cause." + +"Because you see," continued Hemstead, in the most philosophical +spirit, "when anything unpleasant and depressing occurs, one of +your temperament is apt to take a gloomy, morbid view of everything +for a time." + +"I think you are right," she said faintly. + +"Now, I see no proof," he continued, with reassuring heartiness, +"that you are not a Christian because you are unhappy, or even +because you have had 'hateful thoughts,' as you call them. You +evidently do not welcome these 'hateful thoughts.' The question +as to whether you are a Christian is to be settled on entirely +different grounds. Have you thrown off allegiance to that most +merciful and sympathetic of friends that you led me to see last +Sunday as vividly as I now see you?" + +Lottie shook her head, but said remorsefully, "But I have scarcely +thought of Him to-day." + +"Rest assured He has thought of you. I now understand how He has +sympathy for the least grief of the least of His children." + +"If I am one, I am the very least one of all," she said humbly. + +"I like that," he replied with a smile. "Paul said he was the 'chief +of sinners,' and he meant it too. That was an excellent symptom." + +A glimmer of a smile dawned on Lottie's face. + +"And now," he continued hesitatingly, as if approaching a delicate +subject, "I think I know the cause of your trouble and depression. +Will you permit me to speak of it?" + +Again she averted her face in confusion, but said faintly: "As my +spiritual physician I suppose you must." + +"I think you naturally felt greatly disappointed that Mr. De +Forrest acted the part he did last evening." + +This speech put Lottie at ease at once, and she turned to him in +apparent frankness, but with something of her old insincerity, and +said, "I confess that I was." + +"You could not be otherwise," he said, in a low tone. + +"What would you advise me to do?" she asked demurely. + +It was now his turn to be embarrassed, and he found that he had +got himself into a dilemma. The color deepened in his face as he +hesitated how to answer. She watched him furtively but searchingly. At +last he said, with sudden impetuosity, as if he could not restrain +himself: "I would either make a man of him or break with him forever. +It's horrible that a girl like you should be irrevocably bound to +such--pardon me." + +Again Lottie averted her face, while a dozen rainbows danced in +her moist eyes. + +But she managed to say, "Which do you think I had better do?" + +He tried to catch her eye, but she would not permit him. After a +moment he sprang up and said, with something of her own brusqueness, +"You had better follow your own heart." + +"That is what Mrs. Dlimm said," she exclaimed, struck by the +coincidence. "You and Mrs. Dlimm are alike in many respects, but +I fear the world would not regard either of you as the best of +counsellors." + +"Whenever I have taken counsel of the world, I have got into trouble, +Miss Marsden." + +"There, that is just what she said again. Are you two in collusion." + +"Only as all truth agrees with itself," he answered, laughing. + +"Well, perhaps it would be best to follow the advice of two such +sincere counsellors, who are richly gifted with the wisdom of the +other world, if not of this. Your talk has done me more good than +I could have believed. How is it that it always turns out so? I'm +inclined to think that your pastoral visits will do more good than +your sermons." + +"Now have pity on me, in regard to that wretched sermon. But I +know of something that will do you more good than either, in your +present depression. Will you wait for me ten minutes?" + +"Yes; longer than that," she said, with an emphatic little nod. + +He at once started for the house with great strides. + +"My 'depression' is not very great at the present moment," she +chirped, and giving a spring she alighted on the fallen tree with +the ease of a bird. "I had 'better follow my own heart,' had I? +Was there ever more delightful doctrine than that? But, bless me, +whither is it leading? I dare not think, and I won't think." + +And so, to keep herself warm while waiting, she balanced up and +down on the fallen tree, trilling snatches of song as a robin might +twitter on its spray. + +Soon she saw her ghostly adviser speeding towards her in another +guise. A stout rocking-chair was on his shoulder, and skates were +dangling from his hand, and she ran to meet him with anticipating +delight. A little later, Dan, who had been oblivious of proceedings +thus far, was startled by seeing Lottie rush by him, comfortably +ensconced in a rocking-chair and propelled by Hemstead's powerful +strokes. This was a great change for the better, in his estimation, +and he hailed it vociferously. Hemstead good-naturedly put the boy +in his sister's lap, and then sent them whirling about the pond with +a rapidity that almost took away their breaths. But he carefully +shielded them from accidents. + +"It's strange how you can be so strong, and yet so gentle," said +Lottie, gratefully looking up at him over her shoulder. + +"I haven't the faintest wish to harm you," he replied, smiling. + +"That I should ever have wished to harm him!" she thought, with a +twinge of remorse. + +After a half-hour of grand sport, the setting sun reminded them +that it was time to return. + +"How do you feel now?" he asked. + +"My face must be your answer," she said, turning to him features +glowing with exercise and happiness. + +"A beautiful answer," he said impulsively. "In color and brightness +it is the reflection of the sunset there." + +"I admit," she answered shyly, "that its brightness has a western +cause. But speaking of color reminds me of something;" and her +eyes twinkled most mirthfully as she caught a glimpse of something +around his neck. "What have you done with my 'colors,' that I gave +you last night? I know you wore them figuratively in your face +this morning, when Miss Martell so enchanted you; but where are +they, literally? Now a knight is supposed to be very careful of a +lady's colors if he accepts them." + +"I have been; and Miss Martell has never seen your colors." + +"O, those so manifest this morning were hers. I understand now. +But where are mine?" + +"I cannot tell you. But they are safe." + +"You threw them away." + +"Never." + +"Why, then, can't you tell me where they are?" + +"Because--because--Well--I can't; so you need not ask me." + +"If you don't tell me, I'll find out for myself." + +"You cannot," he said confidently. + +"Mr. Hemstead, what is that queer crimson fringe rising above your +collar?" + +He put his hand hastily to his neck, and felt the ribbon that his +stooping posture and violent exercise had forced into a prominence +that defied further concealment; then turned away laughing, and, +with his face now vying with the Sunset, said, "You have caught an +ostrich hiding with its head in the sand." + +Her merry laugh trilled like the song of a bird, as she exclaimed. +"O guilt, guilt! the western sky is pale compared with thy cheeks." + +Then, taking his arm in a way that would have won an Michorite, she +added with a dainty blending of mischief and meaning, "I, too, am +an ostrich to-night,--that is, in my appetite. I am ravenous for +supper." + +"' I, too, am an ostrich '! What did she mean by that?" and Hemstead +pondered over this ornithological problem for hours after. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +AROUND THE YULE-LOG. + + + + + +Lottie's radiant face at supper, in contrast with her clouded one +at dinner, again puzzled certain members of the household; and De +Forrest, to his disgust, learned that while he slept she had again +been with Hemstead. He resolved on sleepless vigilance till the +prize was secured, and mentally cursed the ill-starred visit to +the country over and over again. + +Bel was cool and cynical outwardly, but was really perplexed as +to what ought to be done. With all her faults she had a sincere +affection for her friend, and was shrewd enough to perceive that +this affair with Hemstead promised to be more serious than Lottie's +passing penchants had been previously. But with her usual weakness +and irresolution she hesitated and waited, Micawber-like, to see +what would "turn up." + +The impression grew on Mrs. Marchmont that Lottie was fascinating +her nephew; and yet just how to interfere she did not see. It was +rather delicate business to speak, with nothing more tangible than +what she had yet seen. That Lottie herself was becoming sincerely +attached to a young man of Frank's calling and prospects, could +not occur to a lady of Mrs. Marchmont's ideas of propriety and the +fitness of things. It was only Lottie's "inveterate disposition +to flirt." As to Lottie's "moods and emotions," she smiled at them +with cool indifference, as far as she noticed them at all. "Young +people pass through such phases as through the measles," she was +accustomed to say. + +Addie was too much wrapped up in herself to think particularly +about others. + +Save by queer little chuckling laughs, which no one understood, Mr. +Dimmerly gave no sign that he noted any thing unusual going on. + +Besides, Lottie was very circumspect when in the presence of others, +and Hemstead unconsciously followed the suggestion of her manner. +Thus even lynx-eyed Bel could seldom lay her finger on any thing +and say, "Here is something conclusive." + +But if ever there was an earthly elysium, Hemstead and Lottie +dwelt in it during the remainder of that week. Not that they were +much together, or had much to say to each other by word of mouth. +Scarcely another opportunity occurred for one of their momentous +private talks, for De Forrest's vigilance had become sleepless +indeed. + +Besides, Hemstead was shut up in his room most of the time, engaged +on another sermon. For Dr. Beams was ill, and the student had been +asked to preach again. He gladly complied with the request, for he +was most anxious to correct the dreary impression he had made on +the previous Sabbath. Lottie, too, was much in her room, at work +on something which no one was permitted to see. But little was +thought of this, for the house was full of the mystery that always +prevails just before Christmas. Every one was cherishing innocent, +and often transparent, little secrets, which were soon to be proclaimed, +if not on the "house-top," on the tree-top of the fragrant cedar +that had already been selected and arranged in the back parlor, +suggesting to all the blessedness of both giving and receiving. + +Yet, while seemingly separated, what moment passed when they were +not together? How vain was De Forrest's vigilance!--how futile +were Mrs. Marchmont's precautions! Lottie was the muse that sat at +Hemstead's side; and every time he lifted his eyes from the paper +his vivid fancy saw her face glowing like the sunset, and beaming upon +him. She inspired his sermon. Unconsciously, he wrote it for her +alone, letting her need and spiritual state color the line of thought +which his text naturally suggested; and a fresh, hope-imparting +Christmas sermon it promised to be,--a veritable gospel. He +was unconsciously learning the priceless advantage to a clergyman +of pastoral visitation; for, in discovering and meeting the needs +of one heart, nearly all are touched,--so near a kinship exists +throughout humanity. + +As Lottie stitched away at an odd bit of fancy-work--very different +from any thing that had ever taxed her dainty skill before--strange +gleams flitted across her face. At times her eyes would sparkle +with mirth as she lived over scenes in which the student was ever +the chief actor; and again she would grow pale, and her breath come +quick and short, as her fancy portrayed him--when in the darkness +he could not have been seen by human eyes--far out amid the ice +upon the river. Then again her face would grow comically pitiful, +as she murmured: "I could have brought him to quicker than uncle. +I could have given him a stimulant more potent than the forty-year-old +brandy of which uncle is so proud. I've found out my power over +him." + +Then her face would light up with exultation as she exclaimed, "O, +it's grand to have such power over a strong, richly-endowed man,--to +be able to move and play upon him at your will by some mystic +influence too subtile for prying eyes to see. I can lift him into +the skies by a smile. I can cast him into the depths by a frown. +If I but touch his hand, the giant trembles. He would be a Hercules +in my service, and yet I've got him just there"; and she depressed +her little thumb with the confidence of a Roman empress desiring +to show favor to some gladiatorial slave. + +Then her face would change in quick and piquant transition to the +expression of equally comic distress, as she sighed, "But, alas! +where am I? Right under his big thumb, whether he knows it or not. +How it all will end I dare not think." + +When her jewelled watch indicated that the time for dinner or supper +was near, she would make the most bewitching of toilets, and laugh +at herself for doing so, querying, "What is the use of conquering +one over and over again who is already helpless at your feet?" + +And yet the admiration of Hemstead's beauty-loving eyes was sweeter +incense than all the flattery she had ever received before. + +And what hours of dainty, ethereal banqueting were those prosaic +meals in Mrs. Marchmont's dining-room! The corpulent colored waiter +served the others, but airy-winged love attended these two, bearing +from one to the other glances, tones, accents, of the divinest +flavor. + +De Forrest noted and chafed over this subtile interchange. Bel +and Mrs. Marchmont saw it also, and Mr. Dimmerly's queer chuckling +laugh was heard with increasing frequency. But what could be +done? Lottie's and Hemstead's actions were propriety itself. Mrs. +Marchmont could not say, "You must not look at or speak to each +other." As well seek to prevent two clouds in a summer sky from +exchanging their lightnings! + +Hemstead was in a maze. The past and the future had lost their +existence to him, and he was living in the glorified present. He +no more coolly realized the situation than would one in an ecstatic +trance. In one sense he verified the popular superstition, and was +bewitched; and, with the charming witch ever near to weave a new +spell a dozen times a day, how could he disentangle himself? He was +too innocent, too unhackneyed, to understand what was going on in +his own heart. + +The days and the hours fled away until Saturday--the day before +Christmas--came. By noon Hemstead had finished his sermon, and +Lottie had completed her mysterious fancy-work; and both were ready +for the festivities of Christmas eve. + +Mr. Dimmerly was a great stickler for the old English customs, and +always had the yule-log brought in with great ceremony. With his +own hands he suspended the mistletoe from the chandelier in the +hall, which he always obtained from Dimmerly Manor in England. +Lottie, without thinking, stood beneath, watching him, when, with +a spryness not in keeping with his years, he sprang down and gave +her a sounding smack in honor of the ancient custom. + +"There," said he, "that pays me for all my trouble and expense. But +you will get another kiss here, that you will like better, before +I take the mistletoe down." + +"Well, uncle," said Lottie, laughing and rubbing her tingling +cheek, "I hope it won't be such an explosion as yours was, or it +will alarm the household." + +"Be careful, or it may attract more attention than mine"; and he +departed with his queer chuckling laugh. + +Lottie looked after him with sudden intelligence, and asked herself, +"Now what does he mean by that? Does he suspect anything?" + +At the dinner-table Mr. Dimmerly indulged in a long homily on +the importance of keeping up old customs, and ended with a sly, +significant glance at Lottie, which brought the color into her face. +But during the afternoon she foiled all the devices of De Forrest +to get her under the mistletoe bough, and yet with such grace that, +however disappointed, he could not become angry. As for Hemstead, +he was fat too diffident to attempt any such strategy, much as he +would have liked to solemnize the venerable rite. + +And so at last Christmas eve came; and with it a fevr guests. +Harcourt and Miss Martell had been specially invited; for the fact +of their engagement had become known at once, and Mrs. Marchmont +hastened to assure them, by this invitation, that she had no regrets +or resentment. Not for the world would she have Miss Martell imagine +that any maternal projects had been frustrated. + +Harcourt, grateful for all the kindness he had received at Mrs. +Marchmont's, induced Alice to accept; and so their illumined faces +were added to the circle that gathered around the yule-log in the +large dining-room, that had been cleared for games and dancing. + +In spite of the incongruous elements composing that circle, it +made, with the crackling fire playing on happy faces and Christmas +decorations, a pretty picture,--one that might convert a pagan into +willingness to honor the chief Christian festival. + +After some old-fashioned country dances--through which even Hemstead +had been induced to blunder, to Lottie's infinite delight--they sat +down to nuts, apples, and cider. Billets of hickory were piled +higher than ever against the great yule-log; and never did the +sacred flame light up fairer and happier faces than those of Alice +Martell and Lottie Marsden. And yet they were as different as could +be. One was the lily, and the other the rose. Harcourt and Hemstead +also looked as if some angelic messenger had brought them "tidings +of great joy." + +Harcourt and Alice sat together; but Lottie, with seeming +perverseness, got as far away as possible. But it was only seeming, +for she sat where she could look Hemstead full in the face, and, +with her brilliant eyes, indulge in love's mystic telegraphy without +restraint. + +Now was the time for Mr. Dimmerly to shine out; and be proposed that +some one should begin a story, and carry it forward to a certain +point, then stop abruptly, while some one else took it up for a +brief time, when, in like manner, it would again be dropped that +another might continue it, so that each one who was willing might +have a chance to contribute. + +"You commence, Mr. Harcourt," said Mr. Dimmerly. + +After a preface of hemming, the young man said: "Once upon a time, +in a village in the south of France, it was arranged that there +should be a general fete and dance on the village green the afternoon +before Christmas. Little Ninon was a peasant's daughter, and she +was only fourteen. If she were petite, she was also piquant and +pretty--" + +"Very good, very good," cried a chorus of voices; and a round of +applause stimulated the narrator. + +"Until this occasion, Ninon had always been kept at home as a +child; but, after interminable coaxings, she obtained her mother's +permission to go to the fete. Now her mother was a widow, and +it so happened that she could not go with her daughter, and after +she had given her consent had not one whom she could send with her +child as a protector. But Ninon was in such glee that her mother +had not the heart to take back her promise. + +"'Now, mother, tell me what shall I say when the boys, and perhaps +some of the very young men, ask me to dance with them?' + +"'Say, I'm only a little child who have come to see. Go thy ways.' + +"'But suppose they don't go their ways,' pouted Ninon. + +"'Go thine then, and come home.' + +"'Now, mother dear, am I not almost old enough to have a lover?' + +"'Lover indeed! Silly child, but yesterday I rocked thee in the +cradle there. I'm a fool to let thee go.' + +"Then Ninon, in fear, kept still, lest her mother should change +her mind, a thing which women sometimes do, even in France--" + +"Now I protest against innuendoes," cried Lottie. "It is the +Frenchman, as it is man all over the world, who changes his mind. +Adam first said he wouldn't eat the apple, and then he did!" + +"Where's your authority for that?" said Harcourt. + +"It's in the Bible," answered Lottie, stoutly; at which there was +a great explosion. + +"Miss Marsden equals modern commentators in amplifying the text," +laughed Hemstead. + +"Well," persisted Lottie, "if it isn't just so written, I know +enough of human nature to be sure that that was just how it happened." + +"On with the story!" cried Mr. Dimmerly. "Come, Miss Martell." + +"The afternoon of the fete came," said Alice, "and Ninon's mother +was depressed with a boding of evil. + +"'Whom shall I send with thee, my child? My heart fails me in +sending thee alone.' + +"'Little brother Pierre shall go with me,' said Ninon. 'He's an +odd child, and talks to the saints and angels more than to us. If +he goes with me, the saints will take care of us both.' + +"This seemed to strike the mother as true, and she was comforted; +and the pale little boy, with large, spiritual eyes that appeared +to look into the other world, took his sister's hand without even a +smile flitting across his sad face; and they started for the fete. + +"Now, Miss Marchmont," said Miss Martell, with a graceful inclination +to Addie. + +"And the pale little boy, with big, owl-like eyes," continued Addie, +flippantly, "stalked along as if going to a funeral, while Ninon +tripped and danced at his side. But soon the young girl's steps +grew slower and slower, and her face thoughtful, and she began to +question her mother's words,--that she was too much of a child +to have a lover; and by the time she reached the village green she +gave her pretty head a toss as she said, 'We'll see about this. +Mother doesn't know everything.'" + +"Now, Bel." + +"But poor little Ninon," said Bel, "soon became sadly bewildered, +for there were so many people all talking at once, and they pushed +against and jostled her as if she were very small and insignificant +indeed, and she began to think that her mother was right, and that +she was only a child; and she grew frightened and wished herself +at home again. But she kept fast hold of the hand of her brother +whom the saints loved, and felt that as long as he was with her she +was safe. Finally they were pushed and jostled to a quiet nook on +the edge of the green, under a tree, and here they sat down. Soon +the dancing commenced, and Ninon amused herself by criticising +the people and making remarks to her brother about their dress and +manner. But he did not seem to hear her, and his eyes were fixed on +the sky, as if he saw more that was wonderful there than she upon +the village green." + +"Mr. De Forrest, you next." + +"But as Ninon sat there smiling and talking more to herself than +to her queer little brother, who didn't listen, the young men began +to notice her, and to nudge each other and ask who she was; for in +truth she reminded every one of a half-blown rose. But no one knew +who she was, and no one had ever seen her before. Then the handsomest +young man in the village--indeed he was the one at whom all the +girls were setting their caps--stepped forward and took a deliberate +survey, and soon was convinced that, among all the village maidens, +there was not a face as fair as Ninon's. And while he looked at her +Ninon from under her long lashes as intently watched him. At last +the young man made up his mind, and said to himself, 'I will be +her lover for this afternoon,' and in a manner that was the very +embodiment of grace, he stepped up to her and said, 'My pretty +maiden, wilt dance with me?'" + +And De Forrest bowed to Lottie to continue. It was strange how the +foolish little story was gaining the breathless interest of all +present--all the more because each one was unconsciously coloring +his bit of the mosaic with his own individuality. Lottie's manner +by no means tended to allay this interest as she began her part +of the impromptu tale. She was a natural actress, and, for the +moment, became little Ninon. The scene had grown actual to her vivid +fancy, and by some process that cannot be explained she impressed +it upon the minds of the others as real. They saw the crowded +village green, the petite maiden and her weird brother sitting upon +its edge, as she began. + +"And Ninon shyly raised her dark eyes to the face of the handsomest +young man of all the village, at whom the girls were setting their +caps, and said, a trifle coldly, 'I am only a little child who has +come to see. Go thy ways.' + +"And the handsome young man stalked away, haughty and offended; and +the youth of the village nudged each other and smiled and wondered +and said, 'She must be a princess in disguise, or she would dance +with him whom all the girls covet.' So no one else would venture +to speak to her. But Ninon for a while was content to be left alone +to watch all the funny people and their funny ways. She didn't see +any one with whom she wanted to dance. + +"At last she became conscious that one who seemed a stranger like +herself was watching her, and she began to look curiously at him. +At first she did not like his looks at all, His dress was very +plain,--not a bit smart and gay like that of the other young men. +Besides, he was so tall and grave; and once, when some one said a +rude word to him, his eyes were so fiery that Ninon was afraid of +him. But a moment later, when his eyes rested on her, they became +so kind and gentle that she wondered how it could be. Then she began +to grow sorry for him because, like herself, he was a stranger and +had no one to talk to. But he seemed in quest of some one, for he +would look all around among the people; but soon his eyes would +come back and rest wistfully upon her face, as if she were the one +he was looking for after all. This puzzled Ninon greatly, and she +asked herself, 'Now can it be that I am the one he's looking for?' +At last it seemed that the stranger wished to speak to her, but +hadn't the courage, and this amused Ninon vastly. Twice he advanced, +faltered, and then retreated. Ninon was convulsed with laughter and +whispered, 'O Pierre, isn't this the funniest thing that ever was +in this great world? That big man there is afraid of me,--little +Ninon.' + +"Then she saw that he thought she was laughing at him, and that he +had straightened himself up stiff and haughty and had looked the +other way. But he couldn't keep looking the other way very long," +Lottie said, with an indescribable air that brought out a round of +applause; "and when he timidly glanced towards her again she gave +him such an encouraging smile that he came at once to her side and +said, 'Little sister, wilt walk with me?' + +"A happy thought struck Ninon. Her mother had said she was too young +to have a lover, but nothing had been said against her having another +brother. So, with conscience clear, she whispered, 'Sit still here +till I come back '; and the little boy sat still, looking up into +the sky, while Ninon let the tall stranger take her hand and lead +her away. But his eyes were so gentle and true that she lost all +fear and asked, 'Why do you call me sister?' + +"'Perhaps you can tell me,' he said. 'I came here an utter stranger, +and I looked all around among the people, and their faces were +strange, and it seemed to me that they ever would be strange; but +when I saw your face you appeared to belong to me. I think we must +be related.' + +"'I never saw you before,' said Ninon, shaking her head. + +"'I've seen you in my dreams all my life,' he replied, looking at +her so earnestly that the color deepened on her cheek. + +"'I never heard anything so queer in all my life,' said Ninon. + +"'You have much to learn,' said the stranger. + +"'Yes,' said Ninon, humbly; 'as mother says, I'm only a little +child.' + +"'You are not a little child; you are a beautiful maiden, Ninon,' +said the stranger, earnestly. + +"'Nonsense!' she said blushingly. 'I'll never be that.' But she +liked to hear him say it, nevertheless," Lottie added with an accent +that again brought out a round of applause. + +"I'm taking too much time," Lottie said, deprecatingly. + +"Go on, go on," was the unanimous cry; and her little brother Dan, +who had dropped nuts and apples and was leaning open-mouthed on her +knees, said, "Lottie, if you don't go on, I'll do something dreadful." + +So Lottie continued: "And the tall stranger smiled down upon her +and said, 'Violets are my favorite flower, and you are a modest +little violet.' + +"'Now you are wrong again,' said Ninon; 'violets are a pale blue +flower, and my cheeks are burning so oddly--I never had them do so +before. I know I look like the peonies in the cure's garden.' + +"'You look like the sweetest rose in the cure's garden.' + +"'Is that the way big brothers talk to their little sisters?' + +"'That is the way I talk to you, and I'm in earnest.' + +"'How do little sisters treat a brother as big as you are?' + +"'Well, for one thing, they kiss them.' + +"'That's queer,' said Ninon, innocently. 'I should think it would +be just the other way.' + +"'Now I think of it, you are right,' and the stranger gave her a +kiss that set every nerve tingling. + +"'How odd!' she exclaimed, half-frightened, half-delighted. 'Pierre +sometimes kisses me, but I never felt that way before.' + +"'And big brothers take their little sisters in their arms and lift +them over the rough places, as I do.' + +"And he carried her over a low stone wall that separated them from +a shadowy grove. + +"'O, how nice!' sighed Ninon, complacently; 'I've always had to +get over the rough places by myself before.' + +"'You will no longer,' said the youth, as they passed under the low +branches of a sheltering tree. 'O Ninon, as innocent as beautiful, +can you not see that I am not your brother, but your lover?' and +he threw himself at her feet. + +"But Ninon clasped her hands in the deepest distress, and cried, +'O, why did you say that? You might have been my brother as long +as you chose. But mother says I can have no lover,--that I am only +a child'; and like a startled fawn she fled from him, and, a few +moments later, panting and breathless, was sitting again beside +her strange little brother, who was still looking into the sky as +if he saw a vision. + +"The young stranger followed sadly, thinking how he might still +win her, and teach her that she was no longer a child. Ninon soon +became more composed, and looked around as if she would like to +see him again. As at a distance he watched her from under his bent +eyebrows, a happy thought struck him, and he said, 'I'll teach +her that she is a woman'; and, stepping forward, he singled out a +neglected village maiden, who seemed ready for a little attention +from anybody, and whirled her into the dance. Ninon, to her dismay, +saw the arm of her whilom brother and lover encircling another girl, +while she, apparently, was forgotten. She could scarcely believe +her eyes. She looked at him fixedly, the picture of reproach, but +he never seemed to look towards her. Surprise, resentment, grief, +followed each other upon her fair face, like clouds passing over a +sunny landscape. At last she buried her face upon little Pierre's +shoulder, and sobbed, 'He may be my lover, or anything else, if he +will only leave that hateful minx and come to me once more.' + +"The tall stranger saw her drooping head, and quickly led his partner +out of the dance and bowed himself away, leaving her bewildered,--so +quickly had he come and gone. + +"Ninon looked up, but he was nowhere to be seen, and the 'hateful +minx' stood alone. Suddenly a voice that had grown strangely familiar +said at her side, 'May I be thy lover now?' + +"'Thou art false,' she said faintly. + +"'Never to thee, Ninon. My thoughts were with thee every moment +since thou so cruelly left me. Do you not see why I sought another +maiden? I wished to teach you that you were no longer a child, but +a woman. I am your lover. Your heart has already claimed me, and +these jealous tears prove it.' + +"'Well, then,' said Ninon, shyly smiling again, 'if my heart has +gone to you, and I half believe it has, I must follow my heart'; +and she put her hand in his." + +Loud and long was the applause that greeted Lottie's conclusion. +Dan executed a miniature breakdown as an expression of his feelings, +and it seemed as if Mr. Dimmerly's chuckling laugh would never +cease. De Forrest looked uneasy, and Hemstead was in a trance +of bewildered delight. Alice and Harcourt exchanged significant +glances. but upon the faces of Mrs. Marchmont and Bel were traces +of disapproval. + +"Now, uncle," cried Lottie, "it's your turn. I have given you +COMEDY; we shall expect from you high tragedy." + +The word "comedy," as Lottie here used it, jarred unpleasantly on +Hemstead's ear, and the thought crossed Harcourt's mind, "Can she +be leading Hemstead on in heartless jest, as we proposed at first? +How I have changed since that day! and I was in hopes that she had, +too, somewhat." + +But Mr. Dimmerly had taken up the thread of the narrative where +Lottie had dropped it. + +"Ninon," he said, "lived a long while ago, and did not properly +refer the tall stranger to her mamma. A trysting place and time were +agreed upon, and the mysterious stranger in green, who was apparently +a forester, said that he had a deer to kill before nightfall; and, +raising her hand to his lips, departed. Ninon sat a long time, +lost in a maze of thought, and then, in the twilight, roused the +rapt child from his visions, and they started for their home. But +villainous faces had hovered on the outskirts of the village green, +and ill-omened eyes had marked the beauty of Ninon and the spiritual +face of her brother. At that time there was in France a terrible +monster, known as Giles de Laval, whose emissaries were ever on +the alert for such victims. It was this cruel man who suggested +to Perrault his world-renowned story of Barbe-bleu, the Blue-Beard +that Dan there knows all about. Well, when Ninon and her little +brother were passing a thicket but half-way home, two masked men +sprang out upon them, and, stifling their terror-stricken cries, +carried them to a distance from the highway. They then bound +bandages firmly over their mouths, and lifted them on their horses +and galloped away and away, till poor Ninon felt that she could +never find her way home again, even if she had a chance. Soon the +shadowy walls of a great castle rose before them, with a single +light in a lofty tower. The feet of the iron-shod horses rang on +the draw-bridge, which rose after them, and then Ninon knew they +were prisoners. At first they were shut up in a dungeon that was +perfectly dark, for their cruel jailer knew the overpowering effect +of such rayless gloom. But strange little Pierre said that the place +was brighter than the sun, and that lovely faces were smiling at +him. Ninon, however, saw nothing, and it was dark indeed to her, +and she sobbed bitterly, and called on her mother and lover for +help. But only stony-hearted Laval and his accomplices heard her +girlish voice. A bell in one of the towers slowly tolled out eleven +o'clock. A little later the door of their cell opened, and light +streamed in. Two men in hideous masks seized them, and carried +them up and up, till Ninon, in horror, thought that they were to +be thrown from the top of the tower. But worse than that awaited +them; for soon they entered a large circular room, in which, on a +sort of throne, sat a dreadful-looking man, clad in sable. He had +human form and features, but reminded one of the more disgusting +kind of wild beasts. His eyes were small, piercing, and malignant, +but his face was large, sensual, devilish, and poor Ninon lost +hope from the moment she saw him. She instinctively felt that to +sue for mercy from such a monster would be worse than vain. She +had lost hope utterly. She and her mother had been mistaken. The +saints cared for neither little Pierre nor herself, and had left +them to fall into the clutches of this demon. She glanced slowly +around the room in the faint hope of escape, or even for the chance +of throwing herself from a window, if it were needful, in order to +escape from that horrible man. But the walls were thick. No light +came from without, but only from a great furnace, that was Strangely +constructed and made her shudder. For a long time there was perfect +silence in the dreadful place. The two masked men, grotesque and +horrible, stood near the furnace, motionless as statues. The sable +monster on his black throne watched them without moving a muscle +in his great, coarse face, only his small eyes seemed like two +scintillating sparks of infernal fire, as with a fiendish kind +of pleasure he marked the agony of Ninon. Although the young girl +instinctively gave up all hope of life, yet never had life seemed +so sweet. Its homeliest details now appeared precious, and their +poor little cottage, heaven, compared with this den of infamy. She +had just tasted the exquisite happiness of a new and before unknown +love, and now she was to die. She thought of her mother growing gray +in loneliness and grief. She thought of her lover coming eagerly +to their trysting-place; but when he should come on the morrow, +Christmas day, what would she be?--where would she be? and in her +anguish she cried aloud, and, kneeling, stretched out her hands +towards the sable throne. + +"Then for the first time the coarse, thick lips of the monster +distorted themselves into a hideous grin, but otherwise he did not +move, and the awful silence continued in that chamber of death. + +"Ninon put her hands to her face, to hide his ugly visage, and then +sank down in the apathy of despair. + +"There was nothing in Ninon's agony that disturbed Laval. +Scarcely a night passed but some victim like herself writhed under +his remorseless eyes. Their mortal fear and sufferings were his +recreation before the sterner business of sorcery that followed; +and the more demonstrative they were in their pain, the more highly +spiced was his pleasure. At first Ninon's beautiful and expressive +face kept his whole attention; but after a time he began to note +the strange-appearing little boy who accompanied her. There was +no fear in his calm, pale face. There was no dread in his large, +spiritual eyes, that seemed to look past the monster and his thick +walls to some rare vision beyond. + +"'What does the little wretch see?' he queried, for Laval, like +his age, was very superstitious. + +"But Ninon must be goaded out of her apathy, or the night would +be dull; so at last the thick lips open, and the awful silence is +broken by more awful words: + +"'Girl, thou who art to lose body and soul, look at me.' + +"Slowly Ninon lifted her eyes to his brutal face, and gazed fixedly +as some poor little bird might look into the envenomed jaws of a +serpent. The fascination of fear was upon her. In a thick, guttural, +monotonous voice, the human beast continued: 'The devil has shown +me that there is a potent charm in thy young innocent heart, that +there are powerful spells in thy warm young blood, and that with +them I may discover untold wealth. When the bell tolls out the hour +of midnight, I shall take your bleeding heart out of your living +body, and the heart of your brother out of his body, that with them +I may decoct an essence in yonder furnace that will transmute the +basest metal into gold. Midnight is the hour, and at midnight you +shall die. Only the spell will be far more potent if you first give +yourself to the foul fiend. Therefore, repeat after me: 'I give my +soul and body to Satan.' + +"Mechanically the terror-stricken girl began: 'I give--' but little +Pierre put his hand over her mouth. 'The saints forbid,' he said +quietly. + +"'Seize the child; tear out his staring eyes,' shouted the monster, +savagely." + +Mr. Dimmerly stopped, took off his spectacles, and coolly wiped +them as he said: "I'm through, and my part of the story is true. +This Giles de Laval, or, as he is better known in French history, +the Marshal de Retz, destroyed hundreds of children, at ages +varying from eight to eighteen, and in ways far worse than I have +described. So, Lottie, have you had enough of high tragedy?" + +"O uncle!" she exclaimed, with a little impatient stamp of the foot, +"you have told us a horrible story. It must not break off in this +way, or we sha'n't sleep a wink to-night. Mr. Hemstead, you take +up the story where uncle left off, and, if possible, complete it +in a way that won't make our blood run cold." + +Thus Hemstead was put upon his mettle, and soon all present were +hanging with breathless interest on his rich, well-modulated tones. + +"When the monster from his sable throne uttered his merciless +mandate to tear out the eyes of little Pierre, the two grotesque +and statue-like apparitions sprang into life, and, snatching hot +irons from the furnace, rushed towards the child. Ninon gave a shriek +of terror, and sought to shelter the boy in her arms, crying,'Do +what you will with me, but spare him.' Thus again, more truly than +before by jealous tears, Ninon proved that she had become a woman." + +At this sentence he was interrupted by a perfect storm of applause, +in which Harcourt led off again and again. But Hemstead drew his +inspiration from Lottie's face, and noted with a thrill of joy that +tears stood in her eyes. This was a richer tribute than he received +from all the others, and with deeper and more effective tones he +continued: "But just then the great bell began to toll out the hour +of twelve, and the demon, from his sable throne, made a restraining +gesture. + +"'Naught,' he said, 'must now interfere with our high magic and +solemn sorcery. At the last stroke of the bell take their hearts +out of their living bodies.' + +"Ninon sank on the floor, murmuring like a dying zephyr among the +chords of an AEolian harp, 'Farewell, mother dear. Farewell, my +lover true. I cannot meet you to-mortarn at the FALLEN TREE' (here +Hemstead glanced at Lottie, whose face was instantly suffused); and +she bowed her bead upon her brother's shoulder, and sobbed aloud. + +"Slowly and solemnly upon the silent night the iron tongue tolled +out the fatal moments. + +"With increasing uneasiness the monster upon his sable throne watched +little Pierre, who, from first to last, had not shown a trace of +fear or trouble. Among all his victims he had never seen a child +like this, and his guilty heart began to fail him wofully. + +"'He surely sees something,' he muttered, as the boy's large eyes +dilated with a wondrous awe, and his face grew luminous with a +great joy. + +"The heavy vibrations of the last stroke of the bell resounded +through the silent night. + +"Suddenly, with a shrill, piercing voice that went like an arrow +to the guilty heart of Laval, little Pierre exclaimed, 'It is +Christmas morn! O Ninon, look! there is Jesu, the Christ-Child, and +the Lord of all the saints. See, He is coming towards us, bearing +His cross--He is here--He is placing His pierced hands upon our +heads--we are saved'; and the child knelt reverently on the pavement, +and his sister knelt beside him. + +"The monster tumbled off his sable throne and lay grovelling and +groaning upon the floor, while his terror-stricken accomplices ran +clattering down the stairs. + +"Far above the tower even, Ninon thought she heard a burst of +heavenly song, while little Pierre in rapt ecstasy cried,' Listen.' + +"Suddenly a clarion voice that Ninon heard most plainly, and that +thrilled her to the heart, rang up from the earth beneath. + +"' Harm but a hair of their heads, and I will make you suffer the +tortures of the damned.' + +"Even at their height they could hear the sound of galloping steeds. + +"A dozen brave fellows swam the moat, and a moment later the +draw-bridge fell heavily, and the clangor of a hundred hoofs rang +upon it. + +"Up the winding stair came the tramp of armed men. A thud and a groan +followed when any resisted. The dethroned monster lay grovelling +on the floor, not daring to move. + +"Little Pierre still looked heavenward. Ninon looked towards the +door. A moment later her lover rushed in with drawn sword; and +Ninon, unharmed, with a cry of joy sprang to his heart. + +"But the fire of a terrible anger burned in the young man's cheek, +and he raised his gleaming sword against Laval, who now pleaded +piteously for mercy. + +"'What mercy would you have shown these children?' thundered the +youth. 'What mercy have you shown to your other innocent victims?' +and he was about to run him through when Ninon caught his arm and +cried, 'Stay, kill him not this Christmas morn in his terrible guilt. +It was Jesu who saved us; and does He not ever say, Forgive--even +our enemies?' + +"Slowly she drew down the raised arm of human vengeance. She took +from his reluctant hand the gleaming sword, and returned it in its +sheath. + +"And now Ninon has become more than a woman,--she is a Christian." + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + +UNDER THE MISTLETOE. + + + + + +Instead of applause, there was the truer and more appropriate tribute +of silence when Hemstead finished the mosaic of a story which, by +the various narratives, had been developed so differently and yet +characteristically. The eyes of more than one were moist, and +Lottie hastily left the room. + +Mr. Dimmerly was the first to recover himself, and, after blowing +his nose most vociferously, managed to say: "Well, nephew, it was +hardly the thing to get a sermon off on us before Sunday, but, +since it was rather well done, I don't think we will complain. +I now suggest that you young people have some games that will set +your blood in motion. The last hours of Christmas eve should ever +be the merriest. I will send Lottie back,--the tender-hearted little +minx, who must take everything in earnest." + +His advice was followed, and Lottie soon returned, becoming, as +usual, the life of the company. A breezy sound of voices and many +a ringing laugh took the place of the former hush, as games and +jests followed in quick succession. + +Harcourt was good-naturedly on the alert to serve Hemstead, and, +in a game that required the absence of two of the company from the +room a few moments, suggested the names of the student and Lottie +Marsden. They, nothing loath, went out together into the empty +hall. + +"Do you know," said Hemstead, "I think it a little strange I have +not had a chance to speak to you alone since we were at the fallen +tree in the clump of hemlocks?" + +"I did not know," said Lottie, laughing and blushing, "that the +'fallen tree' was a trysting place." + +"Well," said he, eagerly, "I met a young lady there once, whom I +would gladly meet there or anywhere else again." + +"To see whether she had taken your advice?" + +"That depends. I doubt whether she can 'make a man' of a certain +individual, and I fear she will not take the other alternative." + +"She will probably do as Ninon did,--follow her heart." "If one could +only know whither your heart would lead you!" he said, looking at +her so wistfully that she, seeing through his thin disguise, had +it on her tongue to tell him. But, instead, she took a few dancing +steps away, and, with no such intention whatever, stood just under +the mistletoe as she laughingly said, "That reminds me of what +father often says: How nice it would be to speculate, if one only +knew every time how it would turn out!" + +"Miss Marsden!" he exclaimed, hurriedly, "you are right under the +mistletoe." + +She tried to spring away, but he snatched her hand and detained +her, while he stood hesitatingly at her side, looking at her lips +as if they were the gates of Paradise. + +"Well," said she, laughing and blushing, "I have nothing to do in +the matter." + +"But I dare not take it unless you give it." + +"And I dare not give it unless you take it." + +If Hemstead did not emulate Mr. Dimmerly's "explosion," the ancient +rite was nevertheless honored in a way that Lottie would not soon +forget. Never did a kiss mean more, express more, or impart more, +upon any occasion of the observance of the ceremony by her ancestors, +back to the times of the Druids. + +But this moment of bliss was of short duration, for Mrs. Marchmont +unexpectedly entered the hall, and threw them both into disastrous +confusion by exclaiming, in unfeigned astonishment, "Well, well! +what does this mean?" + +Of course Lottie was the first to recover herself, and managed to +falter: "You see, auntie, by some accident--I assure you it was +an accident; I didn't mean to do it at all--I got under that pesky +mistletoe of uncle's, and Mr. Hemstead, it would seem, had taken +to heart uncle's homily on the duty of keeping up old customs. Mr. +Hemstead, you know, is so conscientious, and I suppose he felt that +he must, poor man; and so--and thus"-- + +At this moment Harcourt's expedients of delay failed, and they were +loudly summoned back to the dining-room. + +"I hope there will be no more such nonsense," said Mrs. Marchmont, +severely. + +"O, no, indeed, auntie; it will never happen again. Only the +strongest sense of duty could have impelled Mr. Hemstead to do such +a thing"; and they escaped to the dining-room only to be subjected +to a fire from another quarter. Their color was so high, and they +had such an air of general confusion, that Harcourt cried, laughingly, +"I more than half believe that you have been under the mistletoe." + +"Nonsense!" said Lottie; "with auntie in the hall? If you think +Mr. Hemstead is brave enough for that, you greatly misjudge him." + +But De Forrest was wofully suspicious, and had many uneasy thoughts +about the "jest" which Lottie must be carrying out; for surely it +could not be possible that she was becoming in earnest. + +Hemstead and Lottie made wretched work in guessing the word required +of them from the nature of the game; for Mr. Dimmerly's prolonged +chuckling laugh, which could be heard from the parlor, did not tend +to allay their confusion. + +When Mrs. Marchmont entered that apartment she found her brother +apparently in a convulsion; but he was only vainly endeavoring to +prevent his merriment from developing into an outrageous chuckle, +for he too had seen Lottie under the mistletoe. + +"This thing must be stopped," said Mrs. Marchmont, most emphatically; +at which her brother chuckled louder than ever, and said, "Stopped, +indeed! As if it could be, or ever had been 'stopped,' since Adam +and Eve first cast sheep's eyes at each other in the Garden of +Eden." + +His sister left the room with a gesture of annoyance. + +Suddenly the little man's queer, cackling laugh ceased, and his +wrinkled face grew sad and thoughtful as he sighed: "I'm the only +Dimmerly who was ever 'stopped,'--fool that I was. His mother, +sister Celia, would marry a poor man; and her life, in spite of all +her toil and privation, has been happier than mine"; and he shook +his head pathetically over "what might have been." + +The marble clock on the mantel chimed out the hour of twelve, +and the young people came flocking in from the dining-room, their +noisy mirth hushed as they remembered that the sacred hours of the +Christmas Sabbath had begun. + +"I have induced Miss Martell to give us a Christmas hymn before +parting," said Harcourt; and he led Alice to the piano, as if there +had been some preconcerted arrangement. + +Lottie went to her uncle's side, and took his arm in a sort of +wheedling, affectionate way. She was beginning instinctively to +recognize that she had an ally and sympathizer in him. As he looked +down upon her fair face in its dewy freshness and bloom, he vowed +that, as far as it was in his power, she should have her own way. +Time and the inevitable ills of our lot might dim that face, but +it should not become withered by a lifetime of vain regret. + +"What were you laughing at so, uncle?" she whispered. + +"At my nephew's painful conscientiousness and stern performance of +duty. What a martyr he made of himself, to be sure!" + +"Now, uncle, I half believe you think I stepped under your old +mistletoe on purpose. It's no such thing." + +"O, no, my dear. The mistletoe is haunted, and has been for a thousand +years or more, and viewless elves draw under it those who are to +receive kisses,--prophetic of many others from the same lips." + +But here he found Lottie's hand upon his lips for a second, and then +she stood at Miss Martell's side, who was now playing a prelude. +In some surprise, Lottie noticed that, instead of there being a +printed sheet upon the piano-rack, both the words and music were +written by hand. As Miss Martell sang, in a sweet but unfamiliar +air, the following words, her surprise and interest deepened: + + + At midnight, in Judean skies, + There dawned a light whose holy rays + Not only cheered the shepherds' eyes, + But filled with hope all coming days. + + At midnight, o'er Judea's plain + Was heard a song unknown before; + The echoes of that sweet refrain + Are reaching earth's remotest shore. + + 'Twas not the sun o'er Eastern hills, + That shed a transient radiance round; + Nor a feeble heir of earthly ills + The shepherds in the manger found. + + Upon the darker midnight sky + Of human sorrow, care, and sin-- + A night that broods at noontide high; + A dreary gloom all hearts within-- + + There rose a gentle, human face, + Whose light was love and sympathy-- + The God of heaven, yet of our race-- + The humblest of humanity. + + The night of sorrow, sin, and care + Still shadows many hapless hearts; + But all who will this light may share,-- + This hope which Christmas morn imparts. + + +Lottie's eyes were suffused with tears when the simple hymn was +finished, but they did not prevent her from following Miss Kartell's +finger as she turned to the title-page and pointed to the inscription: + +"Music by Alice Martell. + +"Words by Frank Hemstead. + +"Dedicated to Miss Lottie Marsden. + +"We wish you more than a 'merry'--the happy Christmas, rather, of +the Christian." + +Her first response was an impulsive kiss to Alice. But when she +looked around to thank Hemstead he had gone. + +A little later, as he came stamping up the piazza, out of the +snow, after assisting Harcourt and Miss Martell away, the hall-door +opened, and some one darted out, and took his hand in a quick, +thrilling pressure. A voice that had grown as dear as familiar said, +"Before we parted to-night I wanted to tell you that I think Lottie +Marsden, like Ninon, has become more than a woman,--a Christian." + +And she vanished, but left the night so luminous about him that he +could not, for a long time, enter the house. + +He felt, like the shepherds who kept watch centuries ago, that an +angel had brought him "tidings of great joy." + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + +THE CHRISTMAS SUNDAY. + + + + + +This Christmas Sabbath, though marked by no unusual event, was +destined to be a memorable day in the lives of Frank Hemstead and +Charlotte Marsden. A chain of unforeseen circumstances and experiences, +and a sequence of emotions still less understood, had lifted them +higher and higher, until this culminating day was scarcely one of +earthly existence. + +Lottie, in her previous life, had been frivolous and selfish; +but her evil resulted from thoughtlessness, rather than from the +deliberate purpose to do wrong. She was the type of multitudes of +her fair sisters, who, with sparkling eyes, look out upon life in +its morning to see only what it offers to them, and not the tasks +it furnishes them for others. Only by experience--only by God's +logic of events--do they find that their happiness is in these +tasks; in unselfish giving and doing. + +The world had been at Lottie's feet. It had offered her all that +it has to give to a girl in her station; but when, withdrawn from +it by a day of suffering, she had summed up her treasures, she had +found that she had nothing but remorse. She had been receiving +all her life, and yet had nothing. She would then gladly have +remembered that she had given even one an impulse towards a truer +and happier life. But she could not. Apart from natural impulses of +affection towards kindred and friends, her only thought in regard +to all had been,--How can I make them minister to me and my pleasure? +With tact and skill, enhanced by exceeding beauty, she had exacted +an unstinted revenue of flattery, attention, and even love; and +yet, when, in weakness and pain, she wished the solace of some +consoling memory, she found only an accusing conscience. + +This experience conveyed to the practical girl a startling lesson. +With all her faults, she did not belong to the class that is hopeless, +because so weak and shallow. Though her handsome face might often +express much that was unlovely and unwomanly, it ever expressed +mind. + +When she, in her turn, like hosts of others, came to realize the +limitations of her being, her weakness and need, she looked around, +instinctively, for help and support. Human teaching presented a +God from whom she shrank in fear and dislike. The Bible revealed +Jesus. When she most felt her need, the Bible presented One whose +eyes overflowed with sympathy, and whose hand was omnipotent. She +instinctively felt, like Mary of old, that, at "His feet," there +were rest and hope. + +The feeling was not reached as a mathematician solves an equation, +or a theologian comes to a conclusion, but more after the manner in +which some women and most children will look at a person and say, +"I like him; I'll trust him." + +There was nothing incongruous or unnatural in the contemporary love +growing up in her heart for Hemstead, though it is possible that +some may so think. In some minds the ideas of love and passion seem +inseparable, and they regard religion as something far removed. +These are but the right wing of that sinister class who jumble their +passions and religion together, and, in pious jargon and spiritual +double entendre, half conceal and half convey the base meaning of +their hearts. In others, love, or what with them goes by the name, +is equally inseparable from management and match-making, trousseaux +and settlements,--concerns pertaining to earth, and very earthy, +it must be admitted. No doubt many excellent, solid people would +regard Lottie's spiritual condition with grave suspicion, and ask, +disapprovingly, "What business have two such DIFFERENT loves to +be originating in her heart at the same time?" But, in the term +"different," they beg the question. Where is the antagonism? Where +is even the dissimilarity? Are not these two impulses of the heart +near akin, rather? and does not a truer and deeper philosophy of +life teach that love for a human object may be as certainly God's +will as love towards Himself? Have these solid, excellent people +aught to say against the faithful devotion of a wife, or the patient +tenderness of a mother, which are corner-stones of the family, as +the family is the corner-stone of all true civilization? But what +is the origin of the wife's devotion and the mother's tenderness? +These people, surely, are as wist as they are solid. They would +have the day without the dawn. + +At any rate, it would appear that Heaven was making the match +between Hemstead and Lottie,--making it as the spring comes on in +northern latitudes, subtilely, imperceptibly, and yet speedily. +Just how or when it came about, they did not know; but when they +met on that Christmas morning, the peace and gladness of an assured +and reciprocal love smiled from each other's eyes. They needed +no explanations. Frank Hemstead's face had ever been as easily +interpreted as his honest words; and he now had taught Lottie's +face to tell the truth. A blessed truth it revealed to him that +Christmas day. + +As he entered the pulpit that morning his face was radiant with +the purest human love, as well as love to God. So far from being +incongruous, the one seemed to kindle and intensify the other. +Though his sermon was simplicity itself he spoke as one inspired. +His message now was a gospel, and came to his hearers as the angel's +announcement (which was his text) to the shepherds. + +But his closing words were searching, and sent many of his hearers +home thoughtful and conscience-smitten, as well as cheered by the +great hope which Christmas day should ever bring to the world. + +"I would gladly correct," he said, "the impression which I fear +was made on some minds last Sabbath. Christ is the embodiment of +Christianity, and His coming to the world was 'tidings of great +joy'; His coming to every sinful heart should be 'tidings of great +joy.' But I fear that I led some to dread His coming, as they would +purgatorial fires. How did the All-powerful One come? As a little, +helpless child, that he might disarm our fears and enlist our +sympathy. How did He live? The humblest among the humble, that no +one on earth should be too lowly to go straight to His side with +his griefs. How did He act? He took little children in His arms, +and blessed them. He laid His hand on the loathsome leper from +whom all shrank. He looked into the glare of the demoniac's eyes: +the demons fled. Then, in meekness, He would offer to enter the +poor wretch's heart, and dwell in what had been the foul abode of +the foulest fiends. When men wept, He, from sympathy, wept with +them, though his next breath changed their mourning into joy. When +man dishonored God, or wronged his fellow-men,--as did the Pharisees, +with their unhallowed traffic in the Temple, their robbery of the +widow and fatherless, their blocking up of the way of life with +their senseless ceremonies, puerile traditions,--no knight in all +the heroic past ever breathed out a more fiery indignation. How +did He die? In such a way that even the thief might be redeemed +and live eternally. He was an ideal man, as well as perfect God. +He was the servant of all, as well as King of kings. Not from his +throne did He stoop to us. He stood at our side, and sustained +fainting humanity with His encircling arm, as a brother. Little +wonder, then, that the angel called the announcement that God had +thus visited His creatures 'good tidings of great joy.' + +"But there is a brief word of pointed and searching significance +in this message. The angel said, 'Unto YOU is born a Saviour.' +Is that true of each one of us? Is this Christmas day a mockery, +reminding us of a hope that is not ours,--of a heaven in which +we have no right or part? Does conscience tell us to-day that we +have looked upon the light that shone at Bethlehem with apathetic +eyes, and heard the angel's message with unbelieving hearts, so +that practically no Saviour has been born unto us? Why do you keep +this day as a festival, my hearer? I can tell you why you may. If +you will receive it, the angel's message is to you personally; unto +you is born a Saviour who will forgive your past sin, and shield +you from its consequences,--who will ennoble your future life, and +sustain and comfort you under the inevitable sorrow and suffering +awaiting,--and who will receive you into an eternal and a happy +home at the end of your brief sojourn here. May not this Christmas +pass until each one has received the abiding peace and joy of the +angel's message into the depths of his heart." + +After the service, Miss Martell, with glistening eyes, said to +Harcourt, "I am glad you heard that sermon." + +"I admit," he replied, with bowed head, "that it is better than my +old philosophy. I think Hemstead must have written it for me." + +As the young clergyman helped Lottie into the sleigh, she whispered, +"You wrote that sermon for me." + +Both were right. Hemstead had preached Christ, who is God's embodied +truth, meant alike for every human hearty and alike adapted to all. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + +THE END OF THE "JEST." + + + + + +It is a common impression that impending disasters cast their +shadows before; and especially in the realm of fiction do we find +that much is made of presentiments, which are usually fulfilled +in a very dramatic way. But the close observer of real life, to a +large degree, loses faith in these bodings of ill. He learns that +sombre impressions result more often from a defective digestion +and a disquieted conscience than from any other cause; and that, +after the gloomiest forebodings, the days pass in unusual serenity. +Not that this is always true, but it would almost seem the rule. +Perhaps more distress is caused by those troubles which never come, +but which are feared and worried over, than by those which do come, +teaching us, often, patience and faith. + +Does not experience show that disasters and trials more often visit +us, like the "thief in the night," unexpectedly? + +At any rate, it so occurred to Hemstead and Lottie on the dreary +Monday that followed their glorified Sunday. And yet, never did a +day open with fairer promise. A cloudless sky bent over a crystal +earth. The mystic peace of Christmas seemed to have been breathed +even into bleak December; for the air was mild and still, and the +shadow of many a slender tree crept across the snow as steadily as +that made by the sun-dial on the lawn. + +Within doors all appeared equally serene. The fire burned cheerily +upon the hearth when Hemstead came down to breakfast. What was of +far more importance, the light of love glowed as brightly in Lottie's +eyes, as she beamed upon him across the table; and the spell which +kept him, unthinking, unfearing, in the beatified present remained +unbroken. + +But the darkest shadows were creeping towards both. + +To any situated as they were, and in their condition of mind and +heart, a mere awakening would have been a rude shock. Some one had +only to show them, with the remorseless logic of this world, what +all their heavenly emotions involved, in order to cause perplexity +and almost consternation. They could not long dwell, like the immortal +gods, on the Mount Olympus of their exalted feeling, subsisting on +the nectar and ambrosia of tones and glances. + +Lottie was the fashionable daughter of an ultra-fashionable mother +and a worldly father, in whose eyes sins against the beau monde +were the most irrational and unpardonable. + +Hemstead was a predestined home missionary, upon whom the Christian +Church proposed to inflict the slow martyrdom of five or six hundred +a year. Mrs. Marchmont but reflected the judgment of the world when +she thought that for two young people, thus situated, to fall in +love with each other, would be the greatest possible misfortune. +Therefore, with the sincerest sense of duty, and the very best +intentions, she set about preventing it, after all the mischief +had been done. + +Like a prudent lady, as she was, she first sought to get sufficient +information to justify her in speaking plainly to both nephew and +niece. For this purpose she drew Addie out on Sunday afternoon, +asking her if she had noticed anything peculiar in the manner of +Hemstead and Lottie towards each other. Then, for the first time, +and with just indignation, to her credit be it said, she learned +of the practical joke of which her nephew was to have been the +victim. She skilfully drew from her daughter all the details of +its inception and the mode in which it had been carried out; for, +to Addie's superficial observation, Lottie was only indulging +in one of her old flirtations, She neither saw, nor was she able +to understand, the change in Lottie's feelings and character. She +also wronged Lottie by giving the impression that she herself had +had nothing to do with the plot, with the exception that she had +promised not to interfere. + +Mrs. Marchmont could scarcely believe what she heard, but Addie +referred her to Bel, who confirmed her words and admitted that from +the first she had "known it was very wrong, but had not believed +that anything would come of it, until it seemed too late." + +"Besides," she said, "Lottie told me that if I said a word, or interfered +in any way, she would from that time treat me as a stranger, and +she said it in a way that proved she meant it. Therefore, whatever +you do, please let it appear that I have no part in it." + +"You surprise and shock me greatly," said Mrs. Marchmont. "With all +Lottie's wild nonsense and fondness for flirting, I would not have +thought that she could be guilty of such deliberate and persistent +effort to trifle with one so sincere and good as Frank. The most +heartless coquette would scarcely call him fair game. She puzzles +me too, for she does not seem like one who is acting, but more like +one in earnest. Besides, look at the interest she is beginning to +take in religion. She surely could not employ such sacred things +for the purposes of mere flirtation." + +But Bell soon converted Mrs. Marchmont to her way of thinking. +Lottie had found Hemstead more interesting than she had expected, +and had foolishly and recklessly permitted a mere sentiment for +him to develop, which, in her case, would end with the visit, and +soon be forgotten in the mad whirl of New York gayety. "But with +Mr. Hemstead," concluded Bel, "it will be a very different affair. +He is one of the kind that will brood over such a disappointment +and wrong to the end of life." + +So it was settled that Mrs. Marchmont should "speak plainly" to her +nephew, and warn him against "Lottie's wiles," as soon as possible. + +But no opportunity occurred before Monday morning, and then not +until Hemstead had received some of the most blissful experiences +that he had yet enjoyed. For, immediately after breakfast, all +had flocked into the back parlor, where the laden Christmas tree +revealed the secrets that had filled the air with mystery during +the preceding days. + +All had been remembered, and Mr. Martell's munificence towards the +gallant coachman quite took away his breath. + +But Hemstead was overwhelmed and troubled at first, when he opened +an envelope, and found a check for a thousand dollars, with the +words: + +"We send you this, not in any sense as compensation,--for we know +enough of your character to recognize that you would have taken +equal risks in behalf of the penniless,--but because we wish to be +remembered by you, whom we can never forget. And we only request +tint you invest this sum towards your library, so that, in coming +years, the thoughts of your favorite authors may remind you of +those whose best wishes, sincerest gratitude, and highest esteem +Will ever be yours. + +"(Signed) HERBERT MARTELL, ALICE MARTELL." + +"Now, Frank, what is the use of putting on such airs?" said Addie. +"You surely expected a handsome present from Mr. Martell." + +"I assure you, I expected nothing of the kind," he replied, a +trifle indignantly. "Why should I? As it is, I am doubtful whether +I ought to accept it." + +"Why should I?" Lottie echoed with a merry laugh. "That's like you. +But, unless you wish to hurt and wrong sincere friends very much, +I advise you to keep it and do as they say. You are so exceedingly +proud or humble--which shall I call it?--that I fear you neither +expect, nor will take anything from me." + +"Here is a queer-looking parcel for Frank Hemstead," said Mr. +Dimmerly, with his chuckling laugh. + +With intense delight Lottie saw the student hesitate, and his hand +tremble as he slowly began to open it. + +"It's not a torpedo, or an infernal machine, that you need be in +such trepidation," she whispered. "It won't go off." + +"Is it from you?" + +"Look and see." + +It was a sermon holder, of rich, plain morocco without, but within, +most elaborately embroidered. Most prominent among the rare and +dainty devices was a single oar. + +The expression of his face repaid her, as he examined it with +a comical blending of reverence and affection, such as a devout +Catholic would manifest towards a relic. In the blade of the oar +were worked, with the most exquisite fineness, the words, "A True +Knight." Within an inner pocket, where they could not be readily +seen, were the words, + +"With the thanks of Lottie Marsden." + +But his quick scrutiny soon discovered them, and he turned and +said, with an emphasis that did her good, "I value this more than +the check." + +"What folly!" she said, blushing with pleasure; "it isn't worth +five dollars." + +"I can prove that it is worth more than the check," he said, in a +low tone. + +"How?" + +"We value that gift most which we receive from the friend we value +most. There; it is proved in a sentence; but I can prove it over +again." + +"What delightful lessons in logic! But you surely cannot prove it +again." + +"Yes. If the gift from the friend we value most contains evidence +that thought and time have been expended upon it, that gift, however +slight its market value, has a worth to us beyond price, because +showing that the friend we love supremely thinks of us in our +absence." + +"I did put a great deal of time and thought in that little gift, +but you have repaid me," Lottie answered. + +Their brief but significant tete-a-tete was now interrupted by De +Forrest, who came forward to thank Lottie for her costly gift to +him,--a gift bought on Broadway. He had uneasily marked the fact +that she had given something to Hemstead, but when he saw that it +was only a sermon-cover, he was quite relieved. + +"Come here, Frank, and show me your present," said Mr. Dimmerly, +a little later. + +Hemstead good-naturedly complied, and the old gentleman looked at +the single embroidered oar, with a comical twinkle in his eye, and +called again, "Lottie, come here." + +She approached rather shyly and reluctantly, not knowing what to +expect. + +"Now, Lottie," said her uncle, reproachfully, pointing to the oar, +"I did not expect that from so sensible a girl as you are. What +is a man going to do with one oar, unless he is to take a lonely +scull through life as I have? Did you mean to suggest that to Mr. +Hemstead?" + +"Mr. Hemstead found out another meaning than that," she said, +laughing, "and I'm not going to stay here to be teased by you"; +and she ran out of the room, the picture of blushing happiness. + +When Hemstead again saw her it was with a great dread in his heart, +and his tones were grave and almost stern. + +"O--h--h, you found out another meaning, did you?" said Mr. +Dimmerly, looking both kindly and quizzically over his spectacles +at his nephew. + +"Well, uncle, to tell you the truth I hardly understand myself. +My visit here is a great contrast to my quiet seminary life, and I +have been getting deeper and deeper into a maze of happy bewilderment +every day. So much has happened, and I am so changed, that, like +many in tales of enchantment, I scarcely know whether I am myself." + +"I have seen the spell working," said Mr. Dimmerly, dryly, "and am +thankful that the transformation has not been of the nature that +Shakespeare portrayed in his Midsummer Night Fantasy. Your head +might have become turned by the wrong girl, and you have reached +the period when it is bound to be turned by some one." + +"Uncle," he said, fervently, "she is the noblest and most beautiful +being in existence." + +"Frank, I wish to see you," said his aunt, quietly; and he followed +her to her own private sitting-room. + +Mr. Dimmerly indulged in his chuckling laugh as he looked after +them. + +"Now she's going to 'stop' it, he--he--In the mean time I'll go +out and stop the brook from running down hill." + +"The time has come," said Mrs. Marchmont to her perplexed nephew, +with the complacent superiority with which the wise of this world +enlighten those whose "heads are often in the clouds,"--"the time +has come when I must speak plainly to you of a matter as important +as it is delicate. You are my own sister's child, and I cannot see +you wronged or going blindly into trouble without warning you. Are +you not permitting yourself to become interested in Miss Marsden +to a degree that is not wise?" + +"Why not wise?" he answered with burning cheeks. + +"Have you not realized that she is one of the most fashionable young +ladies in New York, and belongs to one of the wealthiest and most +fashionable families? If you could but once see her mother you +would understand me." + +"But she herself has changed," he urged, eagerly. + +Mrs. Marchmont smiled incredulously and pityingly. "How little +you know the world!" she said. "In what do you expect all your +sentiment to end? Only sentiment? You say you purpose being a home +missionary. Can you imagine for a moment that one situated as she +is would contemplate such a life? Her parents would as soon bury +her." + +Hemstead groaned under his aunt's remorseless words, but said in +a sort of blind desperation: "Her parents! Is this Hindostan, that +parents can treat their daughters as merchandise? A girl of Miss +Marsden's force and nobility of character--" + +"O Frank, hush! It absolutely makes me sick to see one so easily +deceived. 'Nobility of character,' indeed! Well, I didn't wish +to speak of it. I could not believe it even of Lottie, but nothing +less than the whole truth will convince you"; and she told him of +the plot in which Lottie purposed to make him the ridiculous subject +of a practical joke, and intimated that all her action since had +been but the carrying out of that plot. + +At first Hemstead grew deathly pale, and his aunt, thinking he was +going to faint, began fumbling for her salts. But a moment later +the blood suffused even his neck and brow, and he said passionately, +"I don't believe a word of this; Miss Marsden is not capable of +such falsehood." + +"Whether in your unreasoning passion you will believe it or not +makes no difference," said Mrs. Marchmont, quietly. "It is true, +as I can prove by Addie and Miss Parton." + +He took a few hasty strides up and down the room and muttered, +"I will take her word against all the world. She shall answer for +herself"; and he rang the bell. + +When the servant appeared he said, "Please ask Miss Marsden to come +here at once." + +Mrs. Marchmont regretted Hemstead's action very much, but it was +too firm and decided to be prevented. She had planned that after +his "eyes had been opened to his folly," and Lottie's frivolity, +to say the least, her nephew would, with quiet dignity, cease his +attentions, and perhaps shorten his visit. She had a horror of +scenes, but feared that one was coming now. + +Hemstead admitted Lottie with a silent bow and gave her a chair. + +When she saw his grave, pale face, her heart misgave her strangely, +and she trembled so that even he noticed it, and also another +fact,--she did not meet his eyes. He fastened his upon her, as if +he would read her soul, for he now felt that more than life was at +stake. + +"Miss Marsden," he said, in a low, deep tone, "my aunt has made +a strange charge against you, but I said to her, and I now say to +you, that I will take your word against all the world. She asserts, +and she gives the names of her witnesses, that your action--your +kindness towards me from the first--has been but the carrying out +of a deliberate and heartless jest. Is it true?" + +Lottie's wonted quickness failed her. She had been so happy, she +had seemed to have got so far beyond her old, false self, and so +established in his affection, that such a reverse did not appear +possible. But the evil that at one time she had feared had now +come in a form so unexpected and serious that, for a moment, she +was stunned and bewildered, and fell into helpless confusion. The +nature of the case aggravated her distress. How could she explain? +What could she say? In response to his question she only trembled +more violently and buried her burning face in her hands. + +He saw in this action confirmation of fears that he at first +would scarcely entertain, and regarded her a moment with a strange +expression upon his face,--anger and pity blended,--and then +silently left the room. + +The sleigh stood at the door, and the coachman was just starting +on an errand to Newburgh. + +Mr. Dimmerly looked with surprise at his nephew's pale face,--a +surprise that was greatly increased as the young man seized his +hat and coat, and said in a husky tone, "I am going to New York +for some days," and sprang into the sleigh and was driven away. + +"Well," said the old man, testily, "if she 'stopped' him as easily +as that, he deserves to lose her." + +And Mrs. Marchmont, seeing Hemstead depart so silently, congratulated +herself that she had escaped a scene after all, and complacently +thought, "These things can be 'stopped' if taken in time, +notwithstanding brother's sentimental nonsense." + +As poor Lottie's mind emerged from its chaos into connected +thought, she speedily came to the conclusion to tell Hemstead the +whole truth, to condemn herself more severely than even he could +in his anger, and to ask his forgiveness. + +But when she raised her tearful face to speak, he was gone. + +She heard the sound of bells. A sudden fear chilled her, and she +sprang to the window and saw a vanishing form that she dreaded +might be his. Without a word to Mrs. Marchmont, she rushed down to +the lower hall, where she found Mr. Dimmerly fuming about. + +"Where is Mr. Hemstead?" she asked, eagerly. + +"What the deuce is the matter? What have you sister been saying +that Frank should come down here white as a sheet?" + +"But where is he?" she asked again, in a tone that her uncle had +never heard her use before. + +"Gone to New York for several days," he said. + +Lottie tottered a moment as if she had received a blow. With one +hand she steadied herself on the balustrade of the stairs, while she +passed the other across her brow, then turned and wearily climbed +to her room. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + +LOYAL. + + + + + +Bel was startled at the pallor of Lottie's face as she entered the +room, and rose hastily to offer assistance, but Lottie motioned her +away. Without a word she threw herself upon the bed and signified +her grief and despair by an act as old as the oldest records of +humanity,--she "turned her face to the wall." + +Bel knew that Mrs. Marchmont had "spoken plainly," and she had seen +Hemstead drive away. She expected Lottie to come to her room in a +towering passion, and was prepared to weather the storm in cynical +endurance, assured that her friend would eventually thank her for +having had a hand in breaking up the "whole absurd thing." + +But when Lottie entered, with the expression of one who had received +a mortal wound,--when in silence and despair she had turned her +face from all the world as if there were nothing left in it for +which she cared,--the nervous young lady began to fear that this +affair might not pass away like an ordinary "mood." + +She reasoned and remonstrated, but Lottie did not heed, and scarcely +heard her. Then she went to Mrs. Marchmont, and disturbed even +that lady's complacency by her account of Lottie's appearance and +manner. But with approving consciences they both said, "It was time +something was done." + +The dinner hour came, but Lottie silently shook her head to all urging +to come down. It was the same at supper. Entreaty, remonstrance, +the assumption of hurt and injured tones, were alike unavailing. +She lay motionless, like one stunned and under partial paralysis. + +Mrs. Marchmont lost her complacency utterly, and Mr. Dimmerly +proved but a Job's comforter, as he snarled, "You have stopped it +with a vengeance. It's always the way when people meddle." + +Nervous Bel was in a perfect tremor of anxiety, perplexity, and +weak remorse; and she kept flitting in and out of the room as pale +and restless as a disquieted ghost. + +De Forrest thought he ought to be "chief mourner," but no one seemed +to pay much attention to him. + +As for Lottie, one ever-present thought seemed scorching her brain +and withering heart and hope. + +"He thinks me false,--false in everything,--false in every glance +and word to him,--false even when I spoke of sacred things; and he +will despise me forever." + +Little wonder that she was so drearily apathetic to all that could +be said or done to rouse her. The fall from the pinnacle of her +religious hope and earthly happiness was too far and great to permit +speedy recovery. + +At last she rose, and mechanically disrobed for the night: but no +sleep blessed her eyes, for, on every side, she saw, in flaming +letters, the word false. With increasing vividness her fancy +portrayed a pale, stern, averted face. + +The next morning she was really ill, and her aunt, in alarm, was +about sending for the physician, but Lottie prevented her by saying, +somewhat coldly, "What drug has the doctor for rny trouble? If you +really wish me to get better, give Bel another room, and leave me +to myself. I must fight this battle out alone." + +"Now, Lottie, how can you take a little thing so greatly to heart?" + +"Is it a little thing that the one whom I most honor and respect +in all the world regards me as a false coquette?" + +"You surely cannot apply such language to my nephew?" + +"I do; and on the best grounds. If I am young, I am somewhat capable +of judging. He is not the first man I have seen. You do not know, +and have never appreciated Mr. Hemstead." + +"But, Lottie, compare your station and prospects with his." + +"There is scarcely any one with whom I would not exchange prospects. +I am sick of society's artificial distinctions, in which true worth +and manhood--all that Heaven cares for--count for nothing. What +does Mr. Hemstead care about my wealth, name, and position in New +York? He looks at me; and you, or, rather, my own senseless folly, +have made me appear a weak, false thing, that, from the very laws +of his being, he cannot help despising. But it was cruelly hard in +you and Bel, when you saw that I was trying to be a different--a +better girl, to show him only what I was, and give me no chance +to explain. He will never trust,--never even look at me again." +And, for the first time, the unhappy girl burst into a passion of +tears, and sobbed so long and violently that Mrs. Marchmont had a +distressing consciousness that her worldly wisdom was not equal to +this case at all. She would have telegraphed Hemstead to return, +if she had known where to address him. She was often tempted to +write to Lottie's mother, but dreaded the reproaches of Mrs. Marsden +for permitting matters to reach such a crisis before "stopping" +them. And so, in anxiety and perplexity, the day dragged slowly on, +until, at last, Lottie, wearied out, fell into the heavy sleep of +utter exhaustion, from which she did not wake till the following +morning. + +But the respite from that most depressing of all suffering; mental +trouble, had given her a chance, and her healthful nature began to +recover. + +She was a girl of too much force and character to succumb long to +any misfortune; and, as she said to her aunt, she meant to fight +this battle out to some kind of solution. + +To the surprise of every one, she appeared at the breakfast table, +very pale, but quiet, and perfectly self-possessed. Her bearing, +however, had a dignity and a decision which would make even Mrs. +Marchmont hesitate before she "meddled" again. De Forrest was half +afraid of her, and began to realize that she was not the girl he +had brought to the country but a few weeks since. + +After breakfast, she dismissed Bel by saying plainly that she wished +to be alone, and then sat down, and, for the first time, tried to +clearly understand the situation. It grew more and more evident +how desperately against her were appearances. She had been false +at first, and, in a certain sense, must appear false to the last, +in that she had not told him the truth. Besides, just when and how +she had become in earnest she could not remember. The poor girl was +greatly discouraged, and again gave way to tears, as if her heart +would break. + +But in the midst of her sore trouble, like a flash of genial light +came the thought, "If Mr. Hemstead will never look at me again, +there is One who will"; and she sprang up, and, having found a Bible, +turned again to its shortest text, remembering, with a quick sob, +how she had first discovered it. With almost the distinctness and +reality of actual presence, there rose up before her mind One who, +with bowed head, wept with men for men. Every tear of sympathy +appeared to fall on her bruised heart; and hope, that she believed +dead, began to revive. She just clung to one simple thought: "He +feels sorry for me"; and it comforted her. + +Then she began to turn the leaves back and forth to find places +where Jesus showed kindness and forgave, and she soon found that +this was His life,--His work in which He never wearied,--kindness +to all, forgiveness for all. Then the thought stole into her heart, +like the dove bringing the "olive leaf" from across a dreary waste, +"If Mr. Hemstead is like his Master he will forgive me." Hope now +grew strong and steadily, and the impulsive, demonstrative girl +kissed the little Book, pressed it to her heart, and caressed it +as if it were a thing of life. She got out her portfolio and wrote: + +"Mr. Hemstead, I sincerely ask your forgiveness for my folly, which +you cannot condemn as severely as I do. Though unworthy, indeed, of +your friendship and esteem, can you believe that I am not now the +weak, wicked creature that I was when we first met? But I have +not the courage to plead my own cause. I know that both facts +and appearances are against me. I can only ask you, Who told His +disciples to forgive each other, 'seventy times seven'? + +"Yours, in sorrow and regret, + +"LOTTIE MARSDEN." + +"I have now done the best I can," she said. "The issue is in God's +hands." + +At the dinner-table she again perplexed the mystified household. +They, in their narrow worldliness, had no key to such a problem as +Lottie Marsden had become. She was gentleness itself. The mystic +tears falling from Divine eyes had melted away all coldness and +hardness, and the touch of her words and manner, if we may so speak, +had in it a kindliness and a regard for others to which even the +most callous respond. Patient self-forgetfulness is the most God-like +and the most winning of all the graces. + +After dinner, Mr. Dimmerly shuffled away by himself, with a sound +between a sniffle and his old chuckle, muttering, "I don't believe +it's 'stopped,' after all. Anyway, I wish she were going to be a +home missionary in my home." + +Lottie went with Dan again to the pond, and then to the "fallen +tree"; but she found no other tryst there than memories, that, in +view of what had happened, were very painful. + +After her return, she no longer shunned the others, but sat down +and talked quietly with them, as multitudes of men and women are +doing daily, giving no sign that in the mean time they are patiently +watching at the sepulchre of a buried hope, which may, or may not, +rise again. + +As with Lottie at first, so with Hemstead, the word false seemed +to have the malignant power to quench hope and happiness. If it is +faith that saves, it would seem that it is its opposite--distrust--that +most quickly destroys. In no way can we deal more fatal and ruinous +blows than to deceive those who trust us. + +And Hemstead felt, at first, that he had been deceived and trifled +with in all that was sacred. For hours both faith and reason reeled +in passion, that grew and raged in the strong man's breast like +a tropical storm. He plunged into the streets, crowded with his +unknowing, uncaring fellow-creatures, as he would lose himself in +the depths of a lonely forest, and walked hour after hour, he knew +not and cared not whither. + +Two thoughts pursued him like goading phantoms,--she was false--he +was deceived. + +At last, when the frenzy left him, weak and exhausted, he found +himself near a large hotel, and he went in and slept almost as the +dead sleep. + +In his case also sleep proved "nature's sweet restorer." In the morning +faith and reason sat together on their throne, and he recognized +his duty to act the part of a man and a Christian, whatever the +truth might be. + +He sat down at last and calmly tried to disentangle the web. Second +thoughts brought wiser judgment, for, after going over every day +and hour of his acquaintance with Lottie, he could scarcely resist +the conclusion that if she had begun in falsehood she was ending in +truth. If she, in all her words and manner, had been only acting, +he could never trust his senses again, or be able to distinguish +between the hollow and the real. + +Hour after hour he sat and thought. He held a solemn assize within +his own breast, and marshalled all he could remember as witnesses +for and against her. Much in her conduct that at first had puzzled +him now grew clear in view of her purpose to victimize him, and, +even as late as Christmas eve, he remembered how her use of the +word "comedy" had jarred unpleasantly upon his ear. But on the +other hand there seemed even more conclusive evidence that she had +gradually grown sincere, and come to mean all she said and did. Could +the color that came and went like light from an inner flame,--could +tears that seemed to come more from her heart than from her +eyes,--could words that had sounded so true and womanly, and that +had often dwelt on the most sacred themes, be only simulated? + +"If so," he groaned, "then there are only two in the wide universe +that I can ever trust,--God and mother." + +Moreover, in her trial, Lottie had an eloquent advocate to whom +even deliberate reason appeared only too ready to lend an attentive +ear,--the student's heart. + +Therefore she finally received a better vindication than the Scotch +verdict "not proven," and the young man began to condemn himself +bitterly for having left so hastily, and before Lottie had time to +explain and defend herself. + +His first impulse was to go back at once and give her another +hearing. But, almost before he was aware, he found a new culprit +brought to the bar for judgment,--himself. + +If the trial, just completed, had failed to prove Lottie's guilt, +it had most conclusively shown him his love. He saw how it had +developed while he was blind to its existence. He saw that his wild +agony of the preceding day was not over falsehood and deception in +the abstract, but over the supposed falsehood of a woman whom he +had come to love as his own soul. And even now he was exulting in +the hope that she might have passed, as unconsciously as himself, +into like sweet thraldom. In the belief of her truthfulness, +how else could he interpret her glances, tones, actions, and even +plainly-spoken words? + +But the flame of hope, that had burned higher and brighter, +gradually sank again as he recalled his aunt's words, "How is all +this sentiment to end?--in only sentiment?" + +He remembered his chosen calling. Could he ask this child of luxury +to go with him to the far West and share his life of toilsome +privation? He had long felt that the work of a missionary was +his vocation. She had never had any such feeling. He recalled her +words, spoken but yesterday, it seemed: "Do you imagine that any +nice girl will go out with you among the border ruffians?" + +That is the way it appeared to her then. If such a thing were +possible, that she had become attached to him, would it not be an +unfair and almost a mean thing to take advantage of her affection, +and, by means of it, commit her to a life for which she was unfitted, +and which might become almost a martyrdom? The change from her +luxurious home to frontier-life would be too great. If she had +felt called of God to such a work,--if she had laid herself as +a sacrifice upon the Divine Altar, that would be very different, +for the Master would give no task without imparting strength and +patience for its fulfilment. Besides, He had Heaven to give in +return. + +But Frank Hemstead's unselfish manhood told him plainly that he +had no right to ask any such sacrifice. + +Incidentally, Lottie had mentioned the number of her residence, +and he hastily went up Fifth Avenue, and saw her palace of a home. +Every stone in the stately abode seemed part of the barrier between +them. + +An elegant carriage with liveried coachman and footman came around +to the entrance, and a lady who had Lottie's features, except that +they had grown rigid with pride and age, entered it, and was driven +away. As he saw her stately bearing, and the pomp and show of her +life, he could almost believe his aunt,--that this proud woman of +the world would rather bury the daughter of whom she expected so +much than marry her to an obscure home missionary. + +His heart grew heavy as lead, and he groaned, "Even if she loves +me I have lost her." + +Then came the supreme temptation of his life. Why must he be a home +missionary? Who was there to compel such a sacrifice of himself? He +might come to this city, and win a place as high as hers, as many +poorer and more friendless than himself had done. He might even +seek some well-situated Eastern church. He might aim to be one of +the great popular preachers of the day; and so be able to come to +the door of that proud home and ask what it would be no condescension +to grant. + +Again he was out in the storm; again he was in the thick of the +battle;--passionate longings and love on one hand; stern, steady +conscience on the other. In painful pre-occupation he again walked +unknown distances. His aimless steps took him away from the mansions +of the rich down among the abodes of the poor. As he was crossing +a street his troubled eyes rested upon a plain cross over a lowly +chapel door. He stopped before it like a superstitious Romanist,--not +reverencing the emblem, however, but in vivid remembrance of Him +who suffered thereon. He recalled His self-sacrifice and His words, +"Whosoever doth not bear his cross and come after me, cannot be my +disciple." + +He bowed his head a moment, then turned quietly, and went back to +his hotel. + +The conflict was over,--the temptation passed,--and he was loyal. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + +MR. DIMMERLY CONCLUDES TO "MEDDLE." + + + + + +Hemstead found some solace, during the next two days, in the +selection of books for his library. He did not expect to visit the +East again for many years, and made all his arrangements accordingly. +He wrote Mr. and Miss Martell a letter, which they regarded as a +model in its expression of delicate appreciation and manly modesty. + +Towards the end of the week he returned to Mrs. Marchmont's, by +no means sure whether he would find Lottie there or not, and quite +certain that the less he saw of her the better. + +He walked from the depot, and went around by the way of the pond. +His resolution almost failed him, as he looked at the "fallen +tree," especially as he believed he saw evidence, from traces in +the snow, that Lottie had visited the place in his absence. + +Lottie looked forward with a strange blending of hope and fear to +the meeting with him, and had portrayed to herself every possible +way in which she imagined it could take place. But it happened, as +such things usually do, after the most prosaic fashion possible. +They were all sitting in the parlor, after dinner, and Hemstead +opened the door and walked in. + +Her face became scarlet, but his was so pale as to remind her of +the time when he had carried Miss Martell into that room. It was, +indeed, the pallor of one who was making a desperate moral effort. +But he was successful, and spoke to her, giving his hand, in almost +the same manner as to his aunt. His bearing towards even De Forrest +was most courteous. He then sat down composedly, and began to talk +on ordinary topics. + +Lottie's heart failed her. This was entirely different from what +she had expected. His manner was not in the least cold or resentful, +but his words seemed to come from a great distance, and his eyes +no longer sought her face, as if she only had for him the true +sunlight. Their old, quick, subtile interchange of sympathy and +thought appeared lost as completely as if a thick wall rose between +them. The warm-hearted girl could not act his part. She was silent, +and her head bent low over her work. + +Mrs. Marchmont and Bel were greatly pleased, and gave Hemstead +credit for being a "very sensible young man, who, having been shown +his folly, could act like a gentleman and not make a fuss." + +Even De Forrest looked at the student approvingly, especially as +he had been to a city tailor and was clothed in taste and harmony +with his manly proportions. No amount of grace and virtue could +find recognition in De Forrest's eyes, unless dressed in the latest +mode. + +Mr. Dimmerly, from behind his newspaper, stared for a long time +at Lottie and his nephew, and then snarled abruptly: "It's getting +deuced cold. The brook will stop running down hill to-night, I'm +a-thinking,--freeze up"; and he stirred the fire as if he had a +spite against it. + +Lottie's head bent lower. She was beginning to understand her +crotchety uncle. She, too, thought that it was getting very "cold." + +After a while Hemstead quietly left them, went to his room, and +did not appear again till they were all at supper. He then, with +a simple, yet quiet, high-bred ease,--the bearing of a natural +gentleman,--gave sketches of what he had seen in New York, and the +latest literary gossip. His manner towards Lottie was, as nearly as +possible, the same as towards Bel and his cousin. He so completely +ignored all that had happened--all that had passed between them--that +Lottie almost feared to give him the note she had written. She +could not rally, but grew more and more depressed and silent, a +fact which De Forrest and her aunt marked uneasily. + +After supper he remarked that he would go over and say good-by to +Mr. and Miss Martell and Harcourt. + +With what a foreboding chill Lottie heard that word "good-by"! +Would he, indeed, go away without giving her a chance to say one +word of explanation? She could endure it no longer. In accordance +with her impulsive nature, she went straight to him, and said in +a low tone, "Mr. Hemstead, will you please read that?" + +He trembled, but took the note, and said, after a moment, "Certainly," +and was gone. + +An hour passed, and another; still he did not return. Lottie's +head bent lower and lower over her work. Mr. Dimmerly never played +a more wretched game of whist. At last he quite startled them +all by throwing down the cards and saying, in the most snappish of +tones, "I wish the blockhead would come home." + +"Why, brother, what is the matter?" asked Mrs. Marchmont, in a tone +of surprise. + +"I want to lock up," said the old gentleman, in some confusion. + +"It's not late, yet." + +"Well, it ought to be. I never knew such an eternally long evening. +The clocks are all wrong, and everything is wrong." + +"There, there, you have had bad luck over your whist." + +Lottie, however, knew what was the matter, and she gave him a shy, +grateful look. But the old man was still more incensed when he saw +that there were tears in her eyes, and he shuffled away, muttering +something that sounded a little profane. + +Lottie, soon after, left the room also, but as she was passing +through the hall she met Hemstead, who had come in at a side door. +He took her hand in both of his, and said, gently, "I do forgive +you, fully and completely, and I have your forgiveness to ask for +my hasty judgment." + +"And will you be my friend again?" she asked, timidly, and in a +way that taxed his resolution sorely. + +"You have no truer friend," he said, after a moment. + +"I think it was a little cruel, in so true a friend, to leave me +all this desperately long evening." + +"You are mistaken," he said, abruptly, and passed hastily up to +his room. She did not see him again that night. + +What could he mean? Had he recognized her love, and, not being +able to return it fully, did he thus avoid her and hasten through +his visit? The bare thought crimsoned her cheek. But she felt that +this could not be true. She knew he had loved her, and he could not +have changed so soon. It was more probable that he believed her +to be totally unfit to share in his sacred work,--that he feared +she would be a hindrance,--and, therefore, he was shunning, and +seeking to escape from one who might dim the lustre of his spiritual +life and work. In some respects she had grown very humble of late, +and feared that he might be correct, and that she was indeed utterly +unfit to share in his high calling. + +"But if he only knew how hard I would try!" she said, with a touch +of pathos in her tone which would have settled matters if he had +heard it. + +That he was sacrificing himself rather than ask her to share in +his life's privation, did not occur to her. + +Restless and unhappy, she wandered into the dining-room, where she +found Mr. Dimmerly standing on the hearth-rug, and staring at the +fire in a fit of the deepest abstraction. Lottie was so depressed +as to feel that even a little comfort from him would be welcome; +so she stole to his side and took his arm. He stroked her head with +a gentleness quite unusual with him. Finally he said, in a voice +that he meant to be very harsh and matter of fact, "Hasn't that +nephew of mine got home yet? I feel as if I could break his head." + +"And I feel," said Lottie, hiding her face on his shoulder, "as +if he would break my heart, and you are the only one in the house +who understands me or cares." + +"Well, well," said the old gentleman, after a little, "others have +been meddling; I think I will meddle a little." + +Lottie started up in a way that surprised him, and with eyes flashing +through her tears said, "Not a word to him, as you value my love." + +"Hold on," said the little man, half breathlessly. "What's the +matter? You go off like a keg of powder." + +"I wouldn't sue for the hand of a king," said Lottie, heroically. + +"Bless you, child, he isn't a king. He's only Frank Hemstead, my +nephew,--bound to be a forlorn home missionary, he says." + +"Well, then," she said, drawing a long breath, "if he can't see for +himself, let him marry a pious Western giantess, who will go with +him for the sake of the cause instead of himself." + +"In the mean time," suggested Mr. Dimmerly, "we will go back to +New York and have a good time as before." + +This speech brought to the warm-hearted girl another revulsion of +feeling, and, again hiding her face on her uncle's shoulder, she +sobbed, "I would rather be his slave on a desert island than marry +the richest man in New York." + +"And my wise and prudent sister thought it could be 'stopped,'" +chuckled Mr. Dimmerly. + +"But remember, uncle, not a word of this to him, or I will refuse +him though my heart break a thousand times. If he does not love me +well enough to ask me of his own accord, or if he does not think I +am fit to go with him, I would rather die than thrust myself upon +him." + +"Bless me, what a queer compound a woman is! It won't do for you +to go West. You will set the prairies on fire. There, there, now +don't be afraid. If you think I can say anything to my nephew--the +thick-headed blunderbuss--which will prevent his getting down on +his knees to ask for what he'll never deserve, you don't know the +Dimmerly blood. Trust to the wisdom of my gray hairs and go to +bed." + +"But, uncle, I would rather you wouldn't say anything at all," +persisted Lottie. + +"Well, I won't, about you," said her uncle, in assumed irritability. +"I can get the big ostrich to pull his head out of the sand and +speak for himself, I suppose. He's my nephew, and I'm going to +have a talk with him before he leaves for the West. So be off; I'm +getting cross." + +But Lottie gave him a kiss that stirred even his withered old heart. + +"O, good gracious!" he groaned after she was gone, "why was I ever +'stopped'?" + +The next morning Hemstead appeared at breakfast as calm, pale, and +resolute as ever. His manner seemed to say plainly to Lottie, "Our +old folly is at an end. I have remembered the nature of my calling, +and I know only too well that you are unfitted to share in it." + +She was all the more desponding as she remembered how conscientious +he was. + +"If he thinks it's wrong, there's no hope," she thought, drearily. + +After breakfast Mr. Dimmerly said, "Nephew, I wish you would do a +little writing for me; my hand isn't as steady as it was"; and he +took the student off to his private study. + +After the writing was finished, Mr. Dimmerly gave a few awkward +preliminary ahems, and then said, "So you go West next Monday?" + +"Yes. I wish to get off on the first train." + +"You seem very anxious to get away." + +"I am sorry, now, I ever came," the young man said, in tones of +the deepest sadness. + +"Thank you." + +"O, it's no fault of yours. You and aunt have been very kind, but--" + +"But you are thinking of the 'noblest and most beautiful being in +existence,' as you once said, referring to my pretty little niece. +You have evidently changed your mind. Did you see some one in New +York you liked better?" + +"I have not changed my mind. I have only learned too well what my +mind is. I wish that I had learned it sooner. There is one thing +that troubles me greatly, uncle. I cannot speak of it to aunt, +because--Well, I can't. Do you think that Miss Marsden cares much +for me? She will surely forget me, will she not, in the excitement +of her city life? I do hope she has no such feeling as I have." + +Mr. Dimmerly stared at his nephew as if he thought him demented. + +"Well," said he, "I think you have been 'enchanted, and are no +longer yourself.' You now out-Bottom old Bottom himself. Do you +mean to say that you love such a gem of a girl as Lottie, and yet +hope she does not love you, and will soon forget you?" + +"Certainly I do. If I had my will, she would not have another +unhappy hour in her life." + +"Well, if you have the faintest notion that she has any regard for +you, why don't you get down on your marrow-bones and plead for a +chance to make her happy? If I were in your place, and there was +half a chance to win a Lottie Marsden, I would sigh like a dozen +furnaces, and swear more oaths than were heard in Flanders, if it +would help matters along any." + +"But would you ask her to leave a home of luxury, her kindred, and +every surrounding of culture and refinement, to go out on a rude +frontier, and to share in the sternest poverty and the most wearing +of work?" + +"O--h--h, that is the hitch, is it?" + +"Yes. Before I was aware, I had learned to love her. I trust she +will never know how deeply; for if she had half a woman's heart, +she would be sad from very pity. If, unconsciously to herself, +some regard for me has grown during our visit, it would be a mean +and unmanly thing to take advantage of it to inveigle her into +a life that would be a painful contrast to all that she had known +before. It would be like a soldier asking a woman to share all the +hardships and dangers of a campaign." + +Mr. Dimmerly stroked his chin thoughtfully, while he regarded his +nephew with a shrewd, sidelong glance. "Well," said he, suggestively, +"there is force in what you say. But is there any necessity of your +being a home missionary, and living out among the 'border ruffians,' +as Lottie used to call them? There are plenty of churches at the +East. Dr. Beams is old and sick: there may be a vacancy here before +long." + +"No, uncle," said Hemstead, firmly, "I fought that fight out in New +York, and it was a hard one. I have felt for years that I must be +a missionary, and shall be true to my vocation. It's duty"; and he +brought his clenched hand down heavily on the table. + +"My good gracious!" ejaculated Mr. Dimmerly, giving a nervous hop +in the air. "Between the two, what will become of me? Yes, yes; I +see. You are like your mother. If she took it into her head that +anything was 'duty,' all the world couldn't change her. So, rather +than give up being a missionary, you will sacrifice yourself and +Lottie too?" + +"I should have no hesitation in making the sacrifice myself, but +it would more than double my pain if I knew she suffered. And it is +this that troubles me. But I must obey my orders, whatever happens." + +"Well," said Mr. Dimmerly, dryly, and with a queer little twinkle in +his eyes, "I cannot give you much aid and comfort. I never meddle +in such matters. A third party never can. Of course you can sacrifice +yourself and your own happiness if you choose. That is your own +affair. But when it comes to sacrificing another, that is very +different. Lottie is a warm-hearted girl with all her faults, and +if she ever does love, it will be no half-way business with her. +So be careful what you do. Sacrificing her happiness is a very +different thing from sacrificing your own." + +"But do you think there is any danger of such a thing?" asked +Hemstead, in a tone of the deepest distress. + +"Bless me, boy! how should I know?" said his uncle, in seeming +irritability. "Do you think that I am a go-between for you two? +Why don't you go and ask her, like a man? How do you know but she +has a vocation to be a missionary as well as yourself?" + +Hemstead strode up and down the room, the picture of perplexity. +"Was ever a man placed in so cruel a position?" he groaned. But +after a moment he became quiet and said, "When a thing is settled, +let it stay settled; my course is the only right and manly one"; +and he left the room saying he would be out for a walk till dinner. + +But as he entered the hall Addie cried, "Frank, you must go; we +won't take no for an answer." + +"Go where?" + +"To West Point. It's a glorious day. We want one more sleigh-ride +before we break up,--one that shall exceed all the others. There +is going to be a cadet hop over there this afternoon, in the +dancing-hall, and a friend has sent for us to come. I've set my +heart on going, and so have Bel and Lottie. Mother says that we +can go, if you will go with us and drive, for the coachman is ill. +You will see lots of grand scenery, and all that kind of thing, +which you like so much." + +"And have you set your heart on the 'cadet hop' also?" asked Hemstead +of Lottie. + +"I think I should appreciate scenery more at present," she said, +with a quick blush. + +"You'll go; say you'll go. He'll go, mother. It's all settled. +Let us have some lunch, and we'll start at once;" and the spoiled +little beauty already anticipated the conquest of a cadet or two +as a holiday episode. + +So, in a single breezy moment, it was arranged, Hemstead scarcely +having a voice in the matter. As he mounted to his room, reason told +him that this long drive in the society of the one whom he believed +he should avoid, for her sake as well as his own, was anything but +wise. But he tried to satisfy himself with the thought that at no +time would he be alone with her; and his heart craved this one more +day of companionship, before a lifetime of separation. + +As Lottie was about to ascend the stairs, she heard, for the first +time since that wretched Monday, Mr. Dimmerly's odd, chuckling +laugh. She looked into the parlor, and, seeing that he was alone, +went straight to him, and said, "Now! what do you mean by that +queer little laugh of yours?" + +"Why do you think I mean anything?" he said, staring at the ceiling. + +"Because I haven't heard it since that dreadful Monday, and before +I always heard it when something nice had happened between me +and--and--" + +"Some one told me last night to mind my own business." + +"Now, uncle, you know something." + +"I should hope so, at my years,--enough not to meddle." And he +still stared high over her head. + +"There," said Lottie with tears in her eyes, "everybody in the +house is against me now." + +The old man's eyes dropped to her flushed, disappointed face, and +his features became almost noble in their expression of tender +sympathy. In a grave, gentle tone, such as she never had heard him +use before, he said, "Lottie, come to my private study, before you +go." + +While the others were at lunch, she glided, unseen, to the little +study, that she might receive some comfort to sustain her fainting +heart. Her uncle's first words, however, seemed prosaic, indeed, +and very different from what she had expected. + +"How old are you, Lottie?" + +"I was twenty-one last June," she said, a little proudly. + +"So you are a June blossom, eh? Well, you look like it." But he +puzzled her by his long, searching glance into her face. + +"Why do you ask?" she said. + +"I want to be sure that you are old and mature enough to decide a +very important question." + +"Well," said Lottie, her breath coming quick, "I intend to decide +all questions which relate to my own life and well-being." + +"Be careful, young woman. You had better follow the advice of old +and wise heads like your aunt's and mother's." + +"Uncle, what do you mean?" said she, impatiently. + +"Well," said Mr. Dimmerly, deliberately, looking searchingly into +her face all the time, "I have sounded that thick-headed nephew of +mine--there, you needn't start so: do you suppose a Dimmerly would +betray a woman's secret?--and what do you think he most dreads to +discover as true?--that you love him a little." + +"It's something he never shall discover," said Lottie, almost +harshly, springing up with flashing eyes and scarlet face. "I will +not go on this ride, and he shall have no trouble in escaping my +society." + +"Hold on, now," expostulated Mr. Dimmerly. "Nitroglycerine doesn't +go off half so quick as you of late. I haven't told you why he is +afraid you love him." + +"What other reason can he have save that he doesn't love me, or +thinks I am unfit to be a clergyman's wife?" + +"He has another reason,--one that will devolve upon you the necessity +of deciding some very important questions. Are you old and mature +enough?" + +"O uncle!" exclaimed Lottie, impatiently tapping the floor with +her foot. "You ought to be made Grand Inquisitor General. You have +kept me upon the rack of suspense--it seems an hour." + +"Hold on, little firebrand. Questions concerning a lifetime should +not be decided in a moment. You had better take a few years--certainly, +a few months--to think over what I am going to tell you. Frank +worships the ground you tread on. He does not give you the little +remnant of a heart that has been left after dozens of flirtations +with other girls. You have the whole of his big, unworldly heart, +and from what I know of him, or, rather, his mother, you always +will; but he is so unselfish--so unlike the rest of us--that he +won't ask you to exchange your life of wealth and luxury for his +life of toil, poverty, and comparative exile. So, while I believe +he will idolize your memory all his days, he is hoping that you +won't suffer any, but will soon be able to forget him. Of course +I feigned profound ignorance as to your feelings, and left him in +a pitiable state of distress. But he finally concluded that, even +if you did love him a little, it would be very unmanly to take +advantage of your feelings to get you into the awful scrape of a +home missionary's life." + +As Mr. Dimmerly proceeded in this last speech, joy came into Lottie's +face like the dawn of a June morning. Tears gathered slowly in her +eyes, but their source was happiness, not sorrow. By the time he +concluded, she had buried her burning face in her hands. + +"Well," said her uncle, after a moment, "what's to be done I hardly +know. He is just like his mother. If he thinks it isn't right to +speak, tortures could not wring a word out of him. I don't see but +you will have to propose yourself--" + +"Propose myself! Never," said she, springing to her feet. + +"What will you do, then?--sit and look at each other, and fade away +like two dying swans?" + +"No, indeed," said Lottie, dancing about the room, and brushing +the tears from her face, like spray. "He shall propose to me, and +very humbly, too. I have the key to the problem, now. My hand is +now on the helm of this big ship of war, and you shall see how I +will manage. He shall do just what I want him to, without knowing +it. He shall--" + +"But, hold on," said Mr. Dimmerly, breathlessly. "You look like a +rainbow run wild. Listen to reason. O my good gracious! the idea +of her being a home missionary!" + +"That is just what I am going to be,--a home missionary, in his home; +and all the principalities and powers of earth shall not prevent +it. And now, you dear, precious, old meddler, good-by. You shall, +one day, sit in the snuggest corner of as cosy a little home in +the West as was ever made in the East;" and she vanished, leaving +the old gentleman chuckling to himself, "It doesn't look as if it +would be 'stopped' after all. Perhaps sister will find out that I +know how to meddle a trifle better than she does." + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. + +A NIGHT IN THE SNOW. + + + + + +"Where have you been?" exclaimed Addie, as Lottie came down dressed +warmly, but plainly. "We are all through lunch, and ready to start." + +"I will not detain you, but will wrap up some lunch and take it with +me. May I sit with you?" she said to Hemstead, a little later, as +she came out where he was standing on the piazza, + +"You will be very much exposed to the cold on the driver's seat, +Miss Marsden," he said, hesitatingly; but she saw well enough what +he wished, though conscience was condemning him all the time. + +"So will you," she answered. + +"Yes, but I am a man." + +"And I am a woman," she said, with something of her old piquant +style. "I do not like your implied assertion of superiority, sir. +I have as good a right to expose myself to the cold as a man." + +"I was not disputing your right, Miss Marsden, but--" + +"O, I understand. You are of those who think so poorly of women +as to regard them merely as men's pets,--the weaker sex, you would +call us,--who prefer to wait till everything is made nice and +comfortable, and then languidly step forward. In your reading of +history, I think you must have skipped several chapters." + +"You do me injustice," said Hemstead, warmly, and falling blindly +into her trap. "If I had skipped all the chapters which treat of +woman's heroism, in doing and suffering, I should, indeed, know +little of history. She has proved herself the equal, and at times +the superior of man." + +"Pardon me," said Lottie, in a hurt and injured tone; "I shall +reach the unwelcome truth at last: it is not woman in general who +is weak, but Lottie Marsden in particular. I am very sorry that +you have so poor an opinion of me, and I shall try to change it +somewhat by enduring, on this drive, all the exposure and cold that +you can." + +As the sleigh just then came up, she settled the question by +springing in and taking her place on the driver's seat. + +Hemstead was perfectly nonplussed, and Mr. Dimmerly, who had stood +in the door and heard what had been said, retreated rapidly, as he +broke out into the most irrepressible chuckle in which he had yet +indulged. + +"Now, Miss Lottie," whined De Forrest, coming out muffled to his +eyes, "are you going to sit there?" + +"Certainly. You have Addie and Bel to talk to. Did you suppose that +Mr. Hemstead was to be treated like a coachman because he kindly +consented to drive us over?" + +"Let me drive, then." + +"No, indeed," cried Bel and Addie in chorus; "we won't trust to +your driving." So De Forrest, with very poor grace, took his seat +with them, and with his back to those whom he would gladly have +watched most suspiciously. He had grown desperately jealous of +Hemstead, and yet his vanity would not permit him to believe it +possible that Lottie Marsden, of all others, could be won to such +a life as the predestined missionary would lead. Like the narrow +rationalists of this world, he was ever underrating the power of +that kind of truth with which Hemstead was identified. To all of +his class, the apparent self-sacrifice caused by love to God, and +its kindred flame, love (not a passion) for some human object, has +ever appeared both stupid and irrational. He did not understand +Lottie, and could only curse the wretched visit, and wish it over +every moment. When she returned to her accustomed life in New York, +she would, he believed, soon be her old self. + +Since he could not watch Lottie and Hemstead, he tried to use his +ears as far as possible, but the noisy bells drowned their voices, +so that he could catch but few words. He was somewhat comforted +in the fact that at first they did not appear to have very much to +say to each other. + +Hemstead tried to introduce various topics remote from the thoughts +that were weighing upon both their hearts, but Lottie did not +sustain his effort. She maintained her hurt and injured air, until +at last he could no longer endure her grieved, sad face, and said, +in a low tone, "And could you imagine that I regard you, of all +others, as weak and un-womanly?" + +"What else could I think from your words? I admit I have given you +cause to think very poorly of me indeed. Still it's anything but +pleasant to be so regarded by those whose esteem we value." + +"But I do not think poorly of you, at all," said Hemstead, half +desperately. "How little you understand me!" + +"I understand you better than you do me. You are a man. You have +high aims, and have chosen a noble calling. But you have virtually +said that I am only a woman, and a very ordinary one at that, not +capable of emulating the lives of my heroic sisters. I must be +shielded from the rough wind, while you, in your superiority, can +face it as a matter of Course. And your later words intimate that +so, figuratively, it will always be, in MY CASE,--weak, womanly, +shrinking, and cowering, ever shielded by something or somebody. +History, to be sure, records what women MAY do, but that is a very +different thing from what Miss Marsden WILL do." + +"You go to extremes, Miss Marsden, and infer far more than the +occasion warrants," Hemstead replied, in great perplexity. "Was it +unnatural that I wished you to be shielded from the cold?" + +"And was it unnatural," she answered, "that since one of our party +must be exposed to the cold, I should be willing to share in the +exposure? But it is to your later words that I refer, and not the +trifling incident that led to them. They, with your manner, revealed, +perhaps, more than you intended. You once said I was 'capable +of the noblest things.' I knew that was not true then, and to my +lasting regret, and I proved the fact to you. But I think I have +changed somewhat since that time. At least, I hope I am no longer +capable of the meanest things." + +"Miss Marsden," he said, impetuously, "you now give me credit for +knowing you better than at that time--" + +"Yes; and you have evidently revised your opinion very materially. +But, as I said before, I can scarcely complain, when I remember my +own action. But you will never know how bitterly I have repented +of my folly. When that terrible charge was made against me last +Monday--it came, when I was so happy and hopeful, like a sudden +thunderbolt--I thought I should lose my reason. I felt that you had +gone away believing I was utterly false and had been insincere in +everything from first to last. I was like one who had fallen from +a great height, and I scarcely spoke or moved for two days. I was +not like some girls, who imagine they can find a remedy for their +troubles in wealth and luxury and attention from others. I have had +these things all my life, and know how little they are worth--how +little they can do for one at such times. No one will ever know what +I suffered. At first, when you thought so well of me, I deserved +your harshest condemnation. But it did seem cruel, hard, when I +was honestly trying to be better--when, at last, my life had become +real and true--to be cast aside as a false thing, that must, of +necessity, be despised. I dreaded, last night, that you were going +away without giving me any chance to explain and correct my folly. +I did mean that Monday to tell you the truth, and should have done +so, if you had given me a chance. I should have condemned myself +then, and I do now, more severely than even you could, who had +such just cause for anger. But, Mr. Hemstead, I have changed. In +all sincerity I say it, I wish to become a good, Christian girl, +and would do so, if I only knew how. I was not deceiving you when +I said last Christmas eve that I hoped I had become a Christian. +I still think I have, though for two days I was in thick darkness. +At any rate, I love my Saviour, and He has helped and comforted +me in this greatest trial and sorrow of my life. I was ted to hope +that you would forgive me, because He seemed so ready to forgive. +There! I have now done what I have been most anxious to do--I +have told you the truth. I have said all that I can, justly, in +self-defence. If I have not raised your opinion of me very greatly, +I cannot help it, for henceforth I intend to be honest, whatever +happens." + +Lottie had said the words she so wished to speak in a low tone, but +with almost passionate earnestness, and no one could have doubted +their truth a moment. The horses had been trotting briskly over +the level ground at the foot of the steep mountain slope, and the +noisy bells that made musical accompaniment to her words, as heard +by Hemstead, disguised them from De Forrest and the others. The +student received each one as if it were a pearl of great price. + +But now the horses, mounting the steep ascent, had come to a walk, +and the chime of the bells was not sufficient to drown his words. +If he had answered as his feelings dictated, the attention of the +others would have been gained in a most embarrassing way. He could +only say in a very low voice, "I believe and trust you fully." + +But Lottie heard and welcomed the assurance. + +The light of the sun, that had been too brilliant upon the snow, was +now becoming softened by an increasing haze. The air was growing +milder, and the branches of bowed evergreens by the wayside suddenly +lifted themselves as the hold of the fleecy burdens was loosened, +and the miniature avalanches dropped away. At times they reached +points from which the magnificent and broadening landscape could +be seen to the best advantage, and as Hemstead stopped the horses +at such places to rest, even Bel and Addie abounded in exclamations +of delight. The river had become a vast, white plain, and stretched +far away to the north. The scene was one that would have filled +Hemstead with delight upon any other occasion, but Lottie was now +well pleased to note that he gave to it hurried glances and little +thought. + +His face was a study, and, more clearly than he realized, betrayed +the perplexity and trouble of his mind. How could he give up +the lovely girl at his side, whose very imperfection and need won +more upon him than any display of conscious strength and advanced +spirituality? Her frankness, her humility and severe self-condemnation, +appealed to every generous trait of his large, charitable nature. +He now believed, as never before, that she was "capable of the +noblest things," and he began to suffer from the torturing thought +that his course was a mistaken one, and that he wronged her by +acting upon the supposition that her old surroundings of luxury +and culture were essential to her happiness. Might it not be true +that, in a nature like hers, something far more profound was needed +to create and sustain true serenity of heart? Had she not in effect +plainly said that she had fathomed the shallow depths of luxury, +wealth, and general flattering attention? Had she not unconsciously +given him a severe rebuke? What right had he to assume that he +was any more capable of heroic self-sacrifice than she? Only the +certainty that he was sacrificing himself for her happiness enabled +him to make the sacrifice at all, and now he began to think that +his course might be a wretched blunder which would blight them both. +The very possibility of making such a mistake was agony. To have +come so near happiness, and then to miss it by as great a wrong +to her as to himself, would be more than fortitude itself could +endure. His uncle's words were ever present: "If Lottie loved, it +would be no half-way business. He had no right to sacrifice her +happiness." It was her happiness that he was thinking of, and if +he could secure it best by consummating his own at the same time, +it seemed to him that heaven would begin at once. + +A trivial circumstance had enabled Lottie to intimate plainly to +him that he had virtually asserted, "I am a man, and can do that +of which only the noblest and most unselfish natures are capable. +You are not only a woman, but you cannot rise to the level of many +of your sisters, who have left on history's page the heroic record +of their triumphs over the supposed weakness of their sex." What +he had not meant, but still had appeared to hint from his language, +was he not, in fact, practically acting upon as true? While he had +taken his course in the spirit of the most generous self-sacrifice, +might he not, at the same time, be ignoring the fact that she was +as capable of self-sacrifice and noble consecration to a sacred +cause as himself? + +If she had been sincere in her religious experiences, and in all +her words and actions in that direction, how could he help believing +that she was equally sincere in the language of tone and eye, which +had revealed her heart so plainly that even he, who was the last +in the world to presume, had come to think that she loved him? And +yet he was about to make his life, and perhaps hers also, one long +regret, because he had quietly assumed that she was one of those +women whose life depends on surroundings, and to whose souls mere +things can minister more than love and the consciousness of an +heroic devotion to a sacred cause. Lottie had skilfully and clearly +given the impression she sought to convey; and this impression, +uniting with the student's love, formed a combination whose assaults +caused his supposed inflexible purpose to waver. + +Lottie's quick intuition enabled her to see that she had led him +far enough at present, while they were in such close proximity +to jealous, observant eyes and attentive ears, and so, with equal +tact, she led his thoughts to more tranquillizing topics. She was +employing all the skill and finesse of which she had been mistress +in the days of her insincerity and heartless coquetry. These gifts +were still hers, as much as ever. But now they were under the +control of conscience, and would henceforth be used to secure and +promote happiness, not to destroy it. + +And she felt that she had need of tact and skill. The situation was +not so very peculiar. Many had passed through just such experiences +before, but have all passed on to lives of consummated happiness? +She loved the man at her side devotedly, and was perfectly aware of +his love for her, and yet woman's silence was upon her lips. They +were soon to separate, not to meet again for many years, if ever. +She could not speak. If from any motive, even the noblest, he did +not speak, how could she meet the long, lonely future, in which +every day would make more clear the dreary truth that she had missed +her true life and happiness?--missed it through no necessity that +might in the end bring resignation, but through a mistake,--the +unselfish blundering of a man who wrongly supposed she could be +happier without than with him. It was her delicate task to show +him, without abating one jot of woman's jealous reserve, that she +was capable of all the self-sacrifice to which he looked forward, +and that, as his uncle had told him, he had no right to sacrifice +her happiness. + +He was one of those single-hearted, resolute fellows, who have the +greatest faculty for persistently blundering under an honest but +wrong impression. But, in this case, his impression was natural, +and he was wrong, only because Lottie was "capable of noble +things,"--only because she did belong to that class of women to +whom the love of their heart counts for infinitely more than all +externals. If he had fallen in love with a very goodish sort of +girl of the Bel Parton type, the course he had marked out would +have been the wisest and best, eventually, for both, even though +it involved, at first, a good deal of suffering. + +When a wife assures her husband, by word or manner, "You took +advantage of my love and inexperience to commit me to a life and +condition that are distasteful or revolting, and you have thereby +inflicted an irreparable injury," the man, if he be fine-fibred and +sensitive, can only look forward to a painful and aggravated form +of martyrdom. One had better live alone as long as Methuselah than +induce a small-souled woman to enter with him on a life involving +continual sacrifice. With such women, some men can be tolerably happy, +if they have the means to carry out the "gilded cage" principle; +but woe to them both if the gilded cage is broken or lost, and they +have to go out into the great world and build their nest wherever +they can. + +Providence had given to Lottie the chance to live the life of ideal +womanhood,--the life of love and devotion,--and she did not mean +to lose it. While her high spirit would often chafe with a little +wholesome friction, it would yet grow sweeter and more patient +under the trials of the hardest lot, if they could only be endured +at his side to whom, by some mystic necessity of her being, she +had given her heart. + +Therefore, with unmingled satisfaction she saw that she was sapping +the student's ctern resolution not to speak. She would, by a +witchery as innocent as subtile, beguile him into just the opposite +of what he had proposed. As she had declared to her uncle, he should +ask her, in a very humble manner, to become a home missionary, +and she, under the circumstances, was more ready to comply than to +become Empress of all the Russias. + +But, during the remainder of the ride, she made the time pass all +too quickly, as she led him to speak of his student life, his Western +home, and especially of his mother; and Lottie smiled appreciatively +over the enthusiasm and affection which he manifested for one +concerning whom she had ever heard Mrs. Marchmont speak a little +slightingly. The genuine interest which she took in all that +related to Mrs. Hemstead touched the young man very closely, and +his whole nature was getting under arms against what his heart was +beginning to characterize as a most unnatural and stupid resolution. + +De Forrest was greatly relieved as he heard Hemstead describing +his humble, farm-house home and toiling mother; for the student +softened none of the hard outlines of their comparative poverty. + +"The great fool!" thought the exquisite. "Even if Lottie were inclined +to care for him somewhat, he has repelled her now by revealing his +common and poverty-stricken surroundings." + +But as Lottie became satisfied that Hemstead would not be able to +go away in silence, a new cause of trouble and perplexity claimed +her attention. Not that she had not thought of it often since she +had realized how irrevocably she had given her love, but other and more +immediate questions had occupied her mind. How was she to reconcile +her fashionable mother and worldly father to her choice? She +clearly recognized that what to her seemed the most natural--indeed, +the only thing in life left for her--would appear to one simply +monstrous, and to the other the baldest folly. + +She loved her parents sincerely, for, with all her faults, she had +never been cold-hearted; and, while she proposed to be resolute, +it was with the deepest anxiety and regret that she foresaw the +inevitable conflict. + +But when she was at a loss to think of anything that could be said +to soften the blow, or make her course appear right or reasonable, +as they would look at it, a circumstance occurred which led, as +she then believed, to the solution of the problem. + +After driving between two and three hours, they reached West +Point in safety, and, as they were passing along by the officers' +quarters, Lottie recognized a young lady who was one of her most +intimate city friends, and who, she soon learned, was making a +visit in the country, like herself. Lottie told Bel and Addie to +go on to the dancing-hall, while she called on her friend, adding, +"I will soon join you." + +The relations between Lottie and her friend were rather confidential, +and the latter soon bubbled over with her secret. She was engaged +to a cadet, who would graduate in the following June. + +"But he is away down towards the end of his class, and so, of course, +will have to go out upon the Plains," she said, with a little sigh. + +"What will you do then?" asked Lottie, quickly, a bright thought +striking her. "You surely will not exchange your elegant city home +for barracks in some remote fort, where you may be scalped any +night?" + +"I surely will," said the vivacious young lady; "and if you ever +become half as much in love as I am, it won't seem a bit strange." + +"But what do your parents say to all this?" + +"O, well, of course they would much prefer that I should marry and +settle in New York. But then, you know, mother always had a great +admiration for the army, and it's quite the thing, in fashionable +life, to marry into the army and navy. Why, bless you, Lottie, nearly +all the ladies on the post have seen the roughest times imaginable +on the frontier, and they come from as good families, and very many +of them have left as good homes as mine." + +"But how are you going to live on a lieutenant's pay? I have known +you to spend more than that on your own dress in a single year." + +"What are dresses compared with Lieutenant Ransom? I can learn to +economize as well as the rest of them. You can't have everything, +Lottie. You know what an officer's rank is. It gives him the entree +into the best society of the land, and often opens the way for the +most brilliant career. These things reconcile father and mother +to it, but I look at the man himself. He's just splendid! Come, +we'll go over to the hall, and I will introduce you, and let you +dance with him once,--only once, you incorrigible flirt, or you +will steal him away from me after all. By the way, who was that +handsome man who drove? I fear you bewitched him coming over the +mountain, from the way his eyes followed you." + +"How does he compare with your Lieutenant Ransom?" asked Lottie. + +"No one can compare with him. But why do you ask? Is there anything +serious?" + +"Will you think so when I tell you that he enters, next summer, on +the life of a home missionary on the Western frontier?" + +"O, how dismal!" exclaimed the young lady. "No, indeed! no danger +of your giving him serious thoughts. But you ought not to flirt +with such a man, Lottie." + +"I do not intend to, nor with any one else, any more. But why do +you say 'How dismal'? Your lieutenant will have as rough a frontier +life as Mr. Hemstead, and, surely, the calling of the ministry is +second to none." + +"Well, it seems very different. Nobody thinks much of a home missionary. +Why, Lottie, none of our set ever married a home missionary, while +several have married into the army and navy. So, for heaven's sake, +don't let your head become turned by one who looks forward to such +a forlorn life. But here we are, and I will make you envious in +a moment." + +"Miss Marsden," said Hemstead, stepping forward as they were entering, +"I do not like to hasten you, but there is every appearance of +a storm, and the wind is rising. I wish you could induce Addie to +start soon. I will go to the Trophy room for a little while, and +then will drive around." + +"You may rest assured I will do my best," said Lottie. "I am ready +to start now." + +"Beware of that man," said her friend; "his eyes tell the same +story that I see in Lieutenant Ransom's." + +"You have become a little lady of one idea," said Lottie, laughing +and blushing, "and all the world is in love, in your estimation." + +When Hemstead drove to the door, the snow-flakes were beginning to +fly, and the wind had increased in force. But Bel was not ready, +and Addie would not hear of their going till the hours set apart +for dancing were over. Even then she permitted her cadet friends +to detain her several minutes longer. + +As the others were, in a certain sense, her guests, they were +delicate about urging her departure. Thus it happened that the +early December twilight was coming on, and the air was full of +wildly-flying snow, as the last words were said, and the horses +dashed off for the mountains. + +But the storm increased in violence every moment, and the air was +so filled with flakes that the young people could not see twenty +feet before them. What caused Hemstead uneasiness was the fact that +the sheltered road that led from the Point along the southern base +of the mountains, for a long distance before coming to any great +ascent, was already somewhat clogged with drifts. Above, on the +mountain's crest, he heard a sound as if the north wind were blowing +strongly. + +He grew very anxious, and finally said, as they reached the point +where the road began to rise rapidly, that he thought the attempt +to cross that night involved much risk. But Addie would not hear +of their returning. Her mother would go wild about them, and would +never let her come again. + +"It has not snowed very much yet, and if we wait till to-morrow it +may be very deep." + +"The drifts are what I fear," said Hemstead. + +"There were no bad drifts this afternoon," said Addie, "and surely +they cannot be deep yet." + +Since the following day was Sunday, and New Year's also, it +was agreed that they should push on. To return would involve much +that was disagreeable to the party, and create great alarm at Mrs. +Marchmont's. + +"It will just result in their sending after us, this dreadful +night," said Addie. "I don't see why it must storm just when one +most wishes it wouldn't." + +"We ought to have started sooner," said Bel. "I knew the delay was +very wrong, but we were having such a good time." + +De Forrest, having vainly sought to get Lottie to sit with him, +had sulkily taken his seat just behind her and Hemstead, where he +was the most sheltered of the party, and, not supposing there was +any real danger, had muffled himself up so that he was almost past +speaking or hearing. He had nearly resolved with some sullenness +to let matters take their course until the "cursed visit was over." +New York, and not the barbarous, dreary country, was the place +where he shone; and when there once more, he would soon regain his +old ascendency over Lottie, and she, of course, would forget this +Western monster. He noticed, during the first mile, that Hemstead +and Lottie scarcely spoke to each other; and, as the storm increased, +he concluded there was no danger of their making love when, if they +opened their mouths to speak, the wind would fill them with snow. + +But Hemstead and Lottie scarcely needed language. The old, subtile +interchange of thought and sympathy had been regained. Every moment +she bravely sat with him facing the storm that wild night seemed +an assurance that she was both able and willing to face every storm +of life at his side. + +But as the wind grew more violent, and drove the sharp crystals +into their faces with stinging force, he, out of regard for her +comfort, said: "Miss Marsden, it is both brave and kind of you to +sit here so patiently, but really the wind is growing too severe. +Even if I had had the impression which you were so mistaken as to +charge me with, long before this it would have been banished forever +by your words and action. If you will take the next seat, and sit +with your back to the wind, you will not feel it half so much." + +"Will you do the same?" she asked. + +"I cannot." + +"Then neither can I. I shall keep my word, Mr. Hemstead." + +"You are a brave girl, Miss Marsden." + +"Well, that is nothing. Why have I not as good a right to be a +brave girl as you to be a brave man?" + +"You also appear to have the ability." + +"O, I don't deserve any credit. I'm not a bit afraid. Indeed, I +rather enjoy it. I've plenty of warm blood, and can make as good a +fight against the north wind as yourself. This isn't half as hard +as facing evil and unhappy thoughts before a blazing fire, and I +have had too much of that to do of late to complain of this." + +"But it seems a miracle to me that one with your antecedents can +regard the situation in any way save with unqualified disgust." + +"Do you regard the situation with 'unqualified disgust'?" + +"Well, to tell the truth, were it not for my anxiety about getting +you all home safely, I was never in a situation to enjoy myself +more." + +"What precious fools we two must be, in the world's estimation! We +both have admitted that we are enjoying ourselves under circumstances +in which only Mark Tapley, I think, could be 'jolly';" and the gale +bore away her mirthful laugh like a shred from a silver flag. + +"O dear!" whined Bel and Addie; "it's perfectly awful." + +And awful, indeed, it became, a few minutes later; for, having +passed over a steep but sheltered section of the road, they came +to a point where the north-east wind struck them strongly. At the +same moment the storm appeared to develop into tenfold intensity, +and to equal those terrible tempests on the prairies in which +Hemstead remembered, with a shudder, that strong men and horses +had perished within a few yards of shelter. They, alas! were now a +long way from any house, and in the midst of the lonely mountains. +It had also become so dark that he had to leave the choice of the +road mainly to the horses. + +At first these sagacious animals stopped, and refused to go any +farther. Hemstead waited a few moments, in hope that the gust or +gale would expend itself, and, in the mean time, instinctively put +his arm around Lottie, to keep her from being blown off the seat. + +"Miss Marsden," he said, close to her ear, "pardon me, but I fear +this tempest will carry you away. The horrible thought crossed my +mind that you might be caught in a sort of whirlwind and spirited +off in this thick darkness where I could not find you." + +"Would it trouble you very much if you could not find me?" + +"O, don't speak of it! I would give years of my life if you were +safe at home." + +"Don't be so reckless with your years. I am very well content to +be where I am." + +"But there is danger." + +"There is no more danger for me than for you." + +"Are you not afraid?" + +"I am just about as much afraid as you are"; and, to his amazement, +he found her laughing. + +"Well," he exclaimed, "if you can laugh under these circumstances, +you exceed any woman I ever read or heard of. We are in twice as +much danger as when I went out in the boat the other night." + +"Are you now satisfied that Lottie Marsden, in particular, is not +weak and cowardly, as compared with her braver sisters?" + +Before he could answer, De Forrest growled, "Why don't you go on?" + +Addie and Bel were cowering in the bottom of the sleigh, and supposed +he was merely giving the horses a rest. + +Just then there appeared a momentary lull in the gale; so he merely +said: "Forgive me for even seeming to hint to the contrary," and +then urged the horses forward. + +The road now presented its side to the wind, and so was filled with +drifts, while its lower side was a precipitous bank that shelved +off into unknown depths. The horses plunged with difficulty through +one drift, and the sleigh tipped dangerously. Addie and Bel screamed, +and De Forrest began, in trepidation, to realize their situation. + +The poor beasts were soon floundering through another drift. Suddenly +there came a sharp crack, as if something had broken, and one of +the horses appeared to have fallen. Worse still, the lower runner +of the sleigh seemed sinking in the snow to that degree that a +moment later they would be overturned into the darkness that yawned +in the direction of the steep mountain slope. + +Hemstead instantly sprang out on the lower side, with the purpose +of preventing the accident. Lottie as quickly sprang out on the upper +side, and cried: "You push, and I will hold"; and so it happened +that she did quite as much as he in saving the party from disaster. +Indeed, if the sleigh had gone over, it would have carried him who +was on the lower side down with it. + +The horses, in their wise instinct, keeping still, Hemstead first +came round to where Lottie stood. + +"Why, Miss Marsden!" he exclaimed, "you are up to your waist in +the snow." + +"Well, it won't drown me. This is a great deal better than rolling +down the mountain." + +"I could kneel at your feet," said the student, fervently. + +"Ha, ha, ha," laughed Lottie. "You couldn't find them." + +"This is no laughing matter," said De Forrest, at last aroused to +their danger, and standing up for the first time. + +"Then get out and do something, like Miss Marsden," said Hemstead. +"Come, right up the sleigh while I look after the horses." + +A little later he came back to Lottie, and said: "Miss Marsden, I +scarcely dare tell you the truth. The tongue of the sleigh and some +of the most important parts of the harness are broken. Besides, I +have been up the road a short distance, and there are drifts that +are up to the horses' necks. I fear we can go no farther. O God!" +he added in agony, "what can I do for you? The idea of your perishing +with cold in this horrible place to-night!" + +Lottie laid her hand upon his arm, and said earnestly; "Mr. Hemstead, +please let there be no more such talk. It's no worse for me than +for you. Besides, if we will trust God and use our wits, there +is no need of any one's perishing. If we were out of the wind it +would not be so very cold. Why, there is enough warmth in the big +bodies of those horses to keep us from freezing, if it comes to +the worst." + +"There!" he exclaimed, "you have given me hope and courage, and +in a sentence. The coachman was captain on my former occasion of +danger, and you shall be captain now. You have the clearest and +best head of the party. I am at your service." + +"Will you do as I bid you?" + +"Yes" + +"Take care of yourself somewhat, then." + +"I can best do that by taking care of you." + +"You can do nothing pleasing to me that will bring harm to +yourself," she said. "We must get out of the wind, and if nothing +better offers, must bury ourselves in the snow be-side the horses. +I remember reading of such things. The sleigh robes and the warmth +of their bodies would keep us from freezing; I'm not so very cold." + +Addie and Bel were crying bitterly, while De Forrest was groaning +and cursing from where he stood, behind the sleigh. + +"Come," he shouted, "what's to be done?" + +"I will go straight up the bank. I may find a ledge, or some rocks, +under which we may cower," said Hemstead. + +"Don't go far," said Lottie, eagerly. "I should, indeed, lose hope, +if you became separated from us." + +He soon returned with the joyful news that a little way up the bank +was a high ledge, where they would be completely sheltered from +the wind. + +Soon he had them all under it, and the respite from the driving +gale was welcomed by none more than by Lottie, who, in spite of her +courage and sustaining excitement, was beginning to suffer greatly. + +De Forrest, being a smoker, had matches; but, in his impatience to +light a fire, destroyed most of them. + +"Here, Julian, give them to me," said Lottie, most decisively. + +Then, after all the dry material which could be collected, by groping +round in the dark, was gathered in the most sheltered nook, she +took from her pocket a delicate lace handkerchief, and, by means of +that, lighted the sticks and leaves. Soon they were warming their +numb hands and chilled bodies beside a cheerful blaze. + +Hemstead watched Lottie with wondering and increasing admiration. +In securing a fire, they escaped all immediate danger, and she +became as cheery as if the disaster, which had threatened even +a fatal termination, were only an episode, and the long, wintry +bivouac, in that desolate place, but a picnic in the woods. + +"You are the queerest girl I ever knew, Lottie," said Bel. + +"She means by that, you are the best," Hemstead added. + +"Come, this is no time for compliments, but for work," said Lottie, +energetically, and she set De Forrest at it also. + +The robes were brought from the sleigh, and after the snow had been +trampled down and cleared away between the fire and the ledge, here +they were spread. Addie and Bel were, at first, terror-stricken at +the thought of spending the night in the mountains, but were made +so comfortable that, at last, their tears ceased. + +"Our best hope is this brandy," said De Forrest, drawing a flask +from his pocket. + +"Nonsense!" said Lottie. "Our best hope is keeping our senses and +a good fire." + +But Bel and Addie were ready enough to take the brandy, and were +soon sleeping heavily from its effects, combined with their exposure +to the cold wind. Lottie could not be prevailed upon to take any. + +"I want the use of my senses to-night, if ever," she said. "We must +take turns in keeping awake, and you shall have the first watch, +Julian." + +Hemstead, at this time, was down getting the horses out of the drift, +that he might tie them near the fire and also under the ledge. De +Forrest set to work very zealously under the stimulus of Lottie's +words and the brandy combined, and gathered the brush-wood that +lay near, and piled it on the fire. Everything seemed to promise +well, and the wearied girl laid herself down by the side of Bel and +Addie, and was soon sleeping as naturally and peacefully as if in +her luxurious apartment at home. + + + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. + +IN EARNEST. + + + + + +When Lottie awoke the storm had passed away. The moon, in her last +quarter, was rising in pale, unclouded light over eastern mountains, +and bringing into dusky outline many intervening hills. + +At first, bewildered, and not knowing where she was, she rose up +hastily, but after a moment the events of the preceding evening +came to her, and she remembered, with gratitude, how they had found +partial shelter from the storm. + +With something of a child's wonder and pleasure, she looked around +upon a scene more wild and strange than any she had ever seen, even +in pictures of gypsy encampments. Bel and Addie were sleeping by +her side as soundly as if such a nightly bivouac were an ordinary +experience. In like heavy stupor De Forrest lay near the fire, +though the music of his dreams was by no means sweet. He had made +his watch a very brief one, and, having piled the fire high with +light brush-wood that would soon be consumed, and leaving no supply +on hand, he had succumbed to the combined influence of the cold +and the brandy; and now, with the flames lighting up his face, he +looked like a handsome bandit. + +The patient horses stood motionless and shadowy, a little at one +side. Above her head rose high, rocky crags, from whose crevices +clung bushes and stunted trees with their crest of snow. And snow, +bright and gleaming near the fire, but growing pale and ghostly, +dull and leaden, in the distance, stretched away before her, as +far as she could see, while from this white surface rose shrubs, +evergreens, and the gaunt outline of trees, in the hap-hazard +grouping of the wilderness. Where, before, the storm had rushed, +with moan and shriek, now brooded a quiet which only the crackling +of the flames and De Forrest's resonant nasal organ disturbed. + +But Hemstead was nowhere to be seen. She was becoming very solicitous, +fearing that he had straggled off alone, in order to bring them +relief, when a sound caught her attention, and she saw him coming +with a load of cord-wood upon his shoulder. + +She reclined again, that she might watch him a few moments unperceived. +He threw his burden down, and put a stick or two of the heavy wood +on the fire. Then Lottie noticed that the genial heat no longer +came from the quickly-consumed brush, but from solid wood, of which +there was a goodly store on hand. + +The student stood a few moments looking at the fire; then his eyes +drooped, and he swayed back and forth as if nearly overpowered by +sleep and weariness. Then he would straighten himself up in a way +that made Lottie feel like laughing and crying at the same time, +so great was his effort to patiently maintain his watch. At last he +tried the expedient of going to the horses and petting them, but, +before he knew it, he was leaning on the neck of one of them half +asleep. Then Lottie saw him come directly toward her, and half +closed her eyes. The student looked long and fixedly at her face, +as the firelight shone upon it; then drew himself up straight as +a soldier, and marched back and forth like a sentinel on duty. But +after a little while his steps grew irregular, and he was evidently +almost asleep, even while he walked. Then she saw him turn off +abruptly and disappear in the shadowy forest. + +She sprang up, and, secreting herself behind an adjacent evergreen, +waited for his return. Soon she saw him staggering back under +another great load of cord-wood. + +He at once noticed her absence, and was wide awake instantly. He +seized a heavy stick for a club, as if he would pursue an enemy +who might have carried her off, when her low laugh brought him to +her side. + +"Don't you hit me with that," she said, advancing to the fire. + +"I thank you very cordially for waking me up so thoroughly," +he said, delighted at finding her so bright and well, and in such +good spirits, after all her exposure. "I admit, to my shame, that +I was almost asleep two or three times." + +"Here is another assertion of your masculine superiority," she +replied, in mock severity. "I may sleep, as a matter of course; +but you, as a man, are to rise superior, even to nature herself, +and remain awake as long as your imperious will dictates." + +"I am much afraid," he said, ruefully, "if you had not spoken to +me, my imperious will would soon have tumbled helplessly off its +throne, and you would have found your watchman and protector little +better than one of these logs here." + +"Who has decreed that you must watch all night, while the rest of +us sleep? Come, it's my turn now, and I will watch and protect you +for a little while." + +"Do you mean for me to sleep while you sit here alone and watch?" + +"Certainly." + +"I'll put my hand in the fire first, if in no other way I can keep +awake." + +"Didn't you call me 'captain'? You will have to obey your orders." + +"I'll mutiny in this case, rest assured. Besides, I'm not sleepy +any more." + +"Why, what's the matter?" + +"Do you think I could sleep while you were awake and willing to +talk to me?" + +"I slept a long time while you were awake." She pulled out her +watch, and exclaimed: "Mr. Hemstead! in ten minutes more we enter +on a new year." + +"How much may happen within a year, and even a few days of a year," +he said, musingly. "It seems an age since I tossed my books aside, +and yet, it was within this month. The whole world has changed to +me since that day." + +"I hope for the better," said Lottie, gently. + +"Yes, for the better, whatever may be the future. That Sabbath +afternoon, when you led me to the One whom I was misrepresenting +and wronging, cannot fail to make me, and that little bit of the +world which I can reach, the better. I feel that I shall owe to +you my best Christian experience and usefulness." + +"And I feel that I should never have been a Christian at all if I +had not met you," she said, looking gratefully up. "Whatever may +be the future, as you cay, I trust God will never permit me to be +again the false, selfish creature that I was when I first took your +hand in seeming kindness." + +"I trust that God has been leading us both," said Hemstead, gravely +and thoughtfully. + +Lottie again took out her watch, and said, in the low tone which +we use in the presence of the dying, "Mr. Hemstead, the old year +is passing; there is but a moment left." + +He uncovered his head, and, bowing reverently, said, "May God +forgive us all the folly and evil of the past year, for the sake +of His dear Son." + +Lottie's head bowed as low and reverently as his and for several +moments neither spoke. + +Then he turned, and took her hand as he said: "Many have wished +you a 'happy new year' before, but I can scarcely think that any +one ever meant the words as I do. Miss Lottie, I would do anything, +suffer anything, and give up anything, save honor and duty, to +make you happy. You have often laughed at me because I carried my +thoughts and feelings in my face. Therefore, you know well that +I love you with all the truth and strength of which I am capable. +But I have had a great dread lest my love might eventually make you +unhappy. You know what my life will be, and duty will never permit +me to change." + +Her answer was very different from what he expected. Almost +reproachfully she asked, "Mr. Hemstead, is earthly happiness the +end and aim of your life?" + +"No," he said, after a moment. + +"What then?" + +"Usefulness, I trust,--the doing faithfully the work that God gives +me." + +"And must I of necessity differ from you in this respect?" + +"Miss Lottie, forgive me. I am not worthy of you. But can it be +possible that you are willing to share in my humble, toilsome life? +I fear you have no idea of the hardships and privations involved." + +"I stood by you faithfully last night in the storm, did I not?" +she said, with a shy, half-mischievous glance. + +"It seems too good to be true," he said, in a low tone. + +"Was there ever such a diffident, modest creature!" she said, +brusquely. "Mr. Hemstead, you will never ENTER Heaven. The angels +will have to pull you in." + +"One angel has made a heaven of this dreary place already," he +answered, seeking to draw her to him. + +"Wait a moment; what do you mean, sir? I have made you no promises +and given you no rights." + +"But I have made you no end of promises, and given you absolute +right over me. My every glance has said, 'Lottie Marsden, I am +yours, body and soul, so far as a man with a conscience can be.'" + +"All this counts for nothing," said Lottie, with a little impatient +stamp of her foot. "I promised that dear old meddler, Uncle Dimmerly, +that you, in deep humility and penitence for having arrogantly +assumed that you could be a missionary and I couldn't, should ask +me to be a home missionary; and you have wasted lots of precious +time." + +He caught her quaint humor, and, taking her hand and dropping on +one knee, said: "Lottie Marsden, child of luxury, the prize which +the proudest covet, will you leave your elegant home,--will you +turn your back upon the world which is at your feet,--and go with +me away to the far West, that you may become a poor, forlorn home +missionary?" + +"Yes, Frank, in your home; but never forlorn while I have you to +laugh at, and never poor while I possess your big, unworldly heart." + +"Have I any rights now?" he exclaimed; and, springing up, he +exercised them to a degree that almost took away her breath. + +"Here, behave yourself," she said. "The idea of one who had plumed +himself on his heroic self-sacrifice acting so like an ordinary +mortal! You have had more kisses now than you ought in a week. If +we are to be so poor, we ought to begin practising economy at once." + +"You are the most beautiful and spicy compound that nature ever +fashioned," he exultingly replied, holding her off, devouring her +with his eyes. "I plainly foresee that you can fill the poorest +little home with light and music." + +"Yes, I warn you, before it's too late, that I can never become a +solemn, ghostly sort of a missionary." + +"O, it's too late now, I assure you," he said: "my mind is made +up." + +"So is mine,--that you shall take a long nap, while I mount guard." + +"Nap, indeed!" he said, indignantly. "When the gates of pearl bang +after one with their musical clangor, and shut out forever the misery +of earth, will one's first impulse on the threshold of heaven be +to take a nap?" + +"What extravagant language! You ministers talk much too familiarly +of heaven, and such things." + +"No, indeed, Lottie, dear! the more familiar the thought of heaven +is to us, the better. You shall have a good home there, if a very +humble one here. But do you realize how much you are giving up?" + +"Yes," she said, ruefully, "the worst heartache I ever had. I +don't believe you felt half so badly as I did." + +"But when the hard and prosaic life comes, with its daily cares +and weary burdens, are you sure that you will not regret your +action?--are you sure that you will not wish yourself again the +queenly belle, with the world at your feet?" + +"Who with right claims the higher rank," Lottie answered, her +lovely face growing noble with her thought,--"a queenly belle with +a false, selfish heart, or a Christian woman? And what is that +world which you say is at my feet? Where is it to-night? Where was +it when the tempest made it doubtful whether we should ever see this +new year? Here I am in the solemn midnight, and upon this desolate +mountain. It is not the softness of a summer night to which we are +exposed; it is midwinter. And yet I am certain that there is not a +queen on the earth as happy as I am. But what part has that world +to which you refer had in making me happy? I knew there was danger +last night. I had read of people perishing in the snow almost at +their own doors. I think I realized that death might be near, but +my heart was so light and happy in the consciousness of your love +and God's love, that I could look at the grim old fellow, and +laugh in his face. But suppose that I had had nothing better then +to think of than this vague world, about which you are making so +much ado? Once before, when the world was at my feet, as you term +it, I faced a sudden danger in your company. Thanks to God's mercy +and your skill and strength, we were not dashed down into that ravine +when the horses ran away. What did the world do for me then? Did +it throw a ray of light into that black gulf of death, which yawned +on every side? Oh, thank God," she said with passionate earnestness, +"that I was not sent out of life that night, a shivering ghost, a +homeless wanderer forever! But what could the world do to prevent +it? I know all about that glittering world, Frank, to gain which +so many are staking their all, and I know it's more of a phantom +than a reality. It flattered me, excited and intoxicated me, but +it never made me one-hundredth part as happy as I am tonight. And +when I thought I had lost your respect and your love, I no more +thought of turning to the world for solace and happiness, than I +would look in a coal-bin for diamonds. I knew all about the world, +and in the depths of my soul realized that it was a sham. How far +away it is to-night, with these solemn mountains rising all around +us; and yet how near seem God and heaven, and how sweet and satisfying +the hopes they impart! I have thought it all out, Frank. The time +is coming when illness or age, mortal pain and weakness, will shut +me away, like these dark, wintry hills, even from your love,--much +more from the uncaring, heartless world; but something in my heart +tells me that my Saviour, who wept for sympathy when no one else +would weep, will be my strong, faithful friend through it all, and +not for all the worlds glittering there in yonder sky, much less +for ray poor little gilt and tinsel world in New York, will I give +up this assurance." + +"I am satisfied," said Hemstead, in a tone of deep content; "God +wills it." + +They sat for a long time without speaking, in the unison of feeling +that needed no words. + +At last, in sudden transition to one of her mirthful, piquant +expressions, Lottie turned to her companion and said: "Frank, you +are on the mountain-top of exalted thought and sentiment: Your face +is as rapt as if you saw a vision." + +"Can you wonder?" + +"Well, I'm going to give you an awful tumble,--worse than the one +you feared last night when the sleigh tipped. I'm hungry as any +wolf that ever howled in these mountains." + +"What a comparison!" said the student, laughing heartily. Then, +his face becoming all solicitude, he queried, "What shall I do?" +and he was about to rise with the impression that he ought to do +something. + +"Do as I bid you, of course; sit still while I tell you what I shall +do. I shall patiently endure this aching void, as I trust I shall +the other inevitable ills of our lot. What could be more appropriate +than this prelude of hunger in one proposing to marry a home +missionary?" + +With an odd blending of delight and sympathy in his face, Hemstead +exclaimed: "Lottie! You have received more compliments than you +could count in a year, but I am going to give you one different +from any that you ever had before. There's not even a trace of +morbidness in your nature." + +Thus, in playful and serious talk, they passed the hours until +the snow-clad mountains were sparkling in the rising sun. Hemstead +placed upon Lottie's hand a plain seal-ring that had been his +father's, but she covered it with her glove, not wishing the fact +of her engagement to transpire until they should reach home. + +At last the others awoke, and what they had passed through seemed +like a grotesque, horrible dream. De Forrest looked suspiciously +at Hemstead and Lottie, but could gather nothing from their quiet +bearing towards each other. + +Early in the day relief reached them, and by the middle of the +forenoon they were doing ample justice to Mrs. Marchmont's sumptuous +breakfast. + +Then the telltale ring on Lottie's finger revealed the secret, and +there was consternation. But poor De Forrest was so outrageously +hungry that he had to eat even in this most trying emergency. And +yet he had a painful sense that it was not the proper thing to do +under the circumstances, and so was exceedingly awkward, for once +in his life. + +Mr. Dimmerly chuckled all that Sunday with "unbecoming levity," +his sister said. + +She, poor woman, had lost all confidence in herself as a good manager. +In her bosom indignation at her nephew and Lottie contended with +the dread of Mrs. Marsden's reproaches. + +Bel tried to think that it was not her fault, and Addie did not +much care. + +The holiday visit came to an end. The months sped away. Lottie's +purpose was severely tested. Every possible motive, reason, and +argument was brought to bear upon the brave girl. Worse than all, +she had to endure the cold, averted looks of those she fondly +loved. She pleaded her own cause eloquently. She frequently quoted +her friend's example, who was about to marry the army officer. + +"But that is very different," they said. + +Only once she lost her temper. There was a sort of family conclave +of aunts and relatives, and they had beset her sorely. At last she +turned upon them suddenly, and asked: + +"Are you Christians? Do you believe there is a God?" + +"Why, certainly. Do you think we are heathen?" + +"Why talk, then, like heathen, and act like infidels? If it's the +thing in the fashionable world to marry a trusted servant of a human +government, how much better must it be to marry a servant of the +King of All! I honor my friend because she marries the man she +loves, and I shall marry the one I love. I am of age--I have chosen +my lot. Mark my words! you will yet be proud of the one whom you +now so despise; while the one you wish me to marry will cover his +own and the names of all connected with him with shame"; and she +left them to recover from this bombshell of truth, as best they +might. + +But the patient gentleness which she usually manifested at length +won even their obdurate hearts. Her father was the first to relent, +and was finally brought, by Lottie's irresistible witchery, quite +over on her side. But, in her mother's case, there was only partial +resignation to a great but inevitable misfortune. Mrs. Marsden was +a sincere idolater of the world for which she lived. + +In Aunt Jane, Lottie had a stanch ally, and a sympathizing and +comforting helper. + +But the postman, who brought, with increasing frequency, letters +that were big and heavy, like the writer, was the man whom Lottie +most doted on in all the city. + +With the whole energy of her forceful, practical nature, she trained +herself for her work, as Hemstead was training himself for his. And +when, a year later, she gave him her hand at the sacred altar, it +was not a helpless hand. + +Years have passed. Mr. and Mrs. Hemstead are the chief social, +refining, and Christianizing influences of a growing Western town. +They have the confidence and sympathy of the entire community, and +are people of such force that they make themselves felt in every +department of life. They are shaping and ennobling many characters, +and few days pass in which Lottie does not lay up in memory some +good deed, though she never stops to count her hoard. But, in +gladness, she will learn in God's good time that such deeds are +the riches that have no wings. + +She made good her warning, and never became a "solemn, ghostly sort +of a missionary." She was usually as wholesome as the sunshine, or if +the occasion required, as a stiff north wind, and had a pronounced +little way of her own, when things went wrong at home or in +the church, of giving all concerned the benefit of some practical +common sense. But she also, in the main, kept her pledge to endure +patiently, as she had borne her hunger on the mountain, and many +privations and trials of their lot. + +While she sustained her husband's hands and doubled his usefulness +abroad, he generally found at home a sunny philosopher who laughed +him out of half his troubles. + +With increasing frequency he said, "Lottie, you are so wholesome; +there is not a morbid, unnatural trait in you." + +And she inspired him to preach such a wholesome, sunny Gospel that +it won even the most prejudiced. + +One evening, a feeble, aged man stepped down from the train, and +was borne off in triumph by Hemstead to the warmest corner of his +hearth. + +Lottie gave him such a welcome that the old gentleman cried out: +"Hold on. My goodness gracious! haven't you sobered down yet?" + +Then, while Frank stood near, with his hand upon her shoulder, +looking as proud of her as a man could be, and with just such a +black-eyed cherub in her arms as she must have been herself twenty +odd years before, her face aglow with health, happiness, and content, +she asked, "Well, uncle, what do you think of your meddling now?" + +Mr. Dimmerly went off into one of his old-time chuckles, as he said, +"This is one of the things which the world never can 'stop.'" + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of From Jest to Earnest, by E. P. 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