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-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of In the Garden, by R. A. Lafferty
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll
-have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using
-this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: In the Garden
-
-Author: R. A. Lafferty
-
-Release Date: December 23, 2019 [EBook #61007]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IN THE GARDEN ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
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-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="347" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<p class="ph1">IT WAS A DULL, ROUTINE LITTLE<br />
-WORLD. IT DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A<br />
-CITY. EVERYTHING IT HAD WAS</p>
-
-<h1>IN THE GARDEN</h1>
-
-<h2>BY R. A. LAFFERTY</h2>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Worlds of If Science Fiction, March 1961.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>The protozoic recorder chirped like a bird. Not only would there be
-life traces on that little moon, but it would be a lively place. So
-they skipped several steps in the procedure.</p>
-
-<p>The chordata discerner read <i>Positive</i> over most of the surface. There
-was spinal fluid on that orb, rivers of it. So again they omitted
-several tests and went to the cognition scanner. Would it show Thought
-on the body?</p>
-
-<p>Naturally they did not get results at once, nor did they expect to; it
-required a fine adjustment. But they were disappointed that they found
-nothing for several hours as they hovered high over the rotation. Then
-it came&mdash;clearly and definitely, but from quite a small location only.</p>
-
-<p>"Limited," said Steiner, "as though within a pale. As though there were
-but one city, if that is its form. Shall we follow the rest of the
-surface to find another, or concentrate on this? It'll be twelve hours
-before it's back in our ken if we let it go now."</p>
-
-<p>"Let's lock on this one and finish the scan. Then we can do the rest of
-the world to make sure we've missed nothing," said Stark.</p>
-
-<p>There was one more test to run, one very tricky and difficult of
-analysis, that with the Extraordinary Perception Locator. This was
-designed simply to locate a source of superior thought. But this might
-be so varied or so unfamiliar that often both the machine and the
-designer of it were puzzled as to how to read the results.</p>
-
-<p>The E. P. Locator had been designed by Glaser. But when the Locator
-had refused to read <i>Positive</i> when turned on the inventor himself,
-bad blood developed between machine and man. Glaser knew that he had
-extraordinary perception. He was a much honored man in his field. He
-told the machine so heatedly.</p>
-
-<p>The machine replied, with such warmth that its relays chattered, that
-Glaser did <i>not</i> have extraordinary perception; he had only ordinary
-perception to an extraordinary degree. There is a <i>difference</i>, the
-machine insisted.</p>
-
-<p>It was for this reason that Glaser used that model no more, but built
-others more amenable. And it was for this reason also that the owners
-of Little Probe had acquired the original machine so cheaply.</p>
-
-<p>And there was no denying that the Extraordinary Perception Locator (or
-Eppel) was a contrary machine. On Earth it had read <i>Positive</i> on a
-number of crack-pots, including Waxey Sax, a jazz tootler who could not
-even read music. But it had also read <i>Positive</i> on ninety per cent of
-the acknowledged superior minds of the Earth. In space it had been a
-sound guide to the unusual intelligences encountered. Yet on Suzuki-Mi
-it had read <i>Positive</i> on a two-inch-long worm, only one of them out of
-billions. For the countless identical worms no trace of anything at all
-was shown by the test.</p>
-
-<p>So it was with mixed expectations that Steiner locked onto the area
-and got a flick. He then narrowed to a smaller area (apparently one
-individual, though this could not be certain) and got very definite
-action. Eppel was busy. The machine had a touch of the ham in it, and
-assumed an air of importance when it ran these tests.</p>
-
-<p>Finally it signaled the result, the most exasperating result it ever
-produces: the single orange light. It was the equivalent of the shrug
-of the shoulders in a man. They called it the "You tell <i>me</i> light."</p>
-
-<p>So among the intelligences there was at least one that might be
-extraordinary, though possibly in a crackpot way. It is good to be
-forewarned.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"Scan the remainder of the world, Steiner," said Stark, "and the rest
-of us will get some sleep. If you find no other spot then we will go
-down on that one the next time it is in position under us, in about
-twelve hours."</p>
-
-<p>"You don't want to visit any of the other areas first? Somewhere away
-from the thoughtful creature?"</p>
-
-<p>"No. The rest of the world may be dangerous. There must be a reason
-that thought is in one spot only. If we find no others then we will go
-down boldly and visit this."</p>
-
-<p>So they all, except Steiner, went off to their bunks then: Stark, the
-Captain; Gregory Gilbert, the executive officer; Wolfgang Langweilig,
-the engineer; Casper Craig, super-cargo, tycoon and 51% owner of the
-Little Probe, and F. R. Briton, S.J., a Jesuit priest who was linguist
-and checker champion of the craft.</p>
-
-<p>Dawn did not come to the moon-town. The Little Probe hovered stationary
-in the light and the moon-town came up under the dawn. Then the Probe
-went down to visit whatever was there.</p>
-
-<p>"There's no town," said Steiner. "Not a building. Yet we're on the
-track of the minds. There's nothing but a meadow and some boscage, a
-sort of fountain or pool, and four streams coming out of it."</p>
-
-<p>"Keep on towards the minds," said Stark. "They're our target."</p>
-
-<p>"Not a building, not two sticks or stones placed together. That looks
-like an Earth-type sheep there. And that looks like an Earth-lion,
-I'm almost afraid to say. And those two ... why, they could well be
-Earth-people. But with a difference. Where is that bright light coming
-from?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know, but they're right in the middle of it. Land here. We'll
-go to meet them at once. Timidity has never been an efficacious tool
-with us."</p>
-
-<p>Well, they were people. And one could only wish that all people were
-like them. There was a man and a woman, and they were clothed either
-in very bright garments or in no garments at all, but only in a very
-bright light.</p>
-
-<p>"Talk to them, Father Briton," said Stark. "You are the linguist."</p>
-
-<p>"Howdy," said the priest.</p>
-
-<p>He may or may not have been understood, but the two of them smiled at
-him, so he went on.</p>
-
-<p>"Father Briton from Philadelphia," he said, "on detached service. And
-you, my good man, what is your handle, your monicker, your tag?"</p>
-
-<p>"Ha-Adamah," said the man.</p>
-
-<p>"And your daughter, or niece?"</p>
-
-<p>It may be that the shining man frowned momentarily at this; but the
-woman smiled, proving that she was human.</p>
-
-<p>"The woman is named Hawwah," said the man. "The sheep is named sheep,
-the lion is named lion, the horse is named horse and the hoolock is
-named hoolock."</p>
-
-<p>"I understand. It is possible that this could go on and on. How is it
-that you use the English tongue?"</p>
-
-<p>"I have only one tongue; but it is given to us to be understood by all;
-by the eagle, by the squirrel, by the ass, by the English."</p>
-
-<p>"We happen to be bloody Yankees, but we use a borrowed tongue. You
-wouldn't have a drink on you for a tubful of thirsty travellers, would
-you?"</p>
-
-<p>"The fountain."</p>
-
-<p>"Ah&mdash;I see."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>But the crew all drank of the fountain to be sociable. It was water,
-but water that excelled, cool and with all its original bubbles like
-the first water ever made.</p>
-
-<p>"What do you make of them?" asked Stark.</p>
-
-<p>"Human," said Steiner. "It may even be that they are a little more than
-human. I don't understand that light that surrounds them. And they seem
-to be clothed, as it were, in dignity."</p>
-
-<p>"And very little else," said Father Briton, "though that light trick
-does serve a purpose. But I'm not sure they'd pass in Philadelphia."</p>
-
-<p>"Talk to them again," said Stark. "You're the linguist."</p>
-
-<p>"That isn't necessary here, Captain. Talk to them yourself."</p>
-
-<p>"Are there any other people here?" Stark asked the man.</p>
-
-<p>"The two of us. Man and woman."</p>
-
-<p>"But are there any others?"</p>
-
-<p>"How would there be any others? What other kind of people could there
-be than man and woman?"</p>
-
-<p>"But is there more than one man or woman?"</p>
-
-<p>"How could there be more than one of anything?"</p>
-
-<p>The captain was a little puzzled by this, but he went on doggedly:
-"Ha-Adamah, what do you think that we are? Are we not people?"</p>
-
-<p>"You are not anything till I name you. But I will name you and then
-you can be. You are named Captain. He is named Priest. He is named
-Engineer. He is named Flunky."</p>
-
-<p>"Thanks a lot," said Steiner.</p>
-
-<p>"But are we not people?" persisted Captain Stark.</p>
-
-<p>"No. We are the people. There are no people but two. How could there be
-other people?"</p>
-
-<p>"And the damnest thing about it," muttered Langweilig, "is, how are you
-going to prove him wrong? But it does give you a small feeling."</p>
-
-<p>"Can we have something to eat?" asked the Captain.</p>
-
-<p>"Pick from the trees," said Ha-Adamah, "and then it may be that you
-will want to sleep on the grass. Being not of human nature (which does
-not need sleep or rest), it may be that you require respite. But you
-are free to enjoy the garden and its fruits."</p>
-
-<p>"We will," said Captain Stark.</p>
-
-<p>They wandered about the place, but they were uneasy. There were the
-animals. The lion and lioness were enough to make one cautious, though
-they offered no harm. The two bears had a puzzling look, as though they
-wanted either to frolic with you or to mangle you.</p>
-
-<p>"If there are only two people here," said Casper Craig, "then it may be
-that the rest of the world is not dangerous at all. It looked fertile
-wherever we scanned it, though not so fertile as this central bit. And
-those rocks would bear examining."</p>
-
-<p>"Flecked with gold, and possibly with something else," said Stark. "A
-very promising site."</p>
-
-<p>"And everything grows here," added Steiner. "Those are Earth-fruits and
-I never saw finer. I've tasted the grapes and plums and pears. The figs
-and dates are superb, the quince is as flavorsome as a quince can be,
-the cherries are excellent. And I never did taste such oranges. But I
-haven't yet tried the&mdash;" and he stopped.</p>
-
-<p>"If you're thinking what I'm afraid to think," said Gilbert, "then it
-will be the test at least: whether we're having a pleasant dream or
-whether this is reality. Go ahead and eat one."</p>
-
-<p>"I won't be the first to eat one. You eat."</p>
-
-<p>"Ask him first. You ask him."</p>
-
-<p>"Ha-Adamah, is it allowed to eat the apples?"</p>
-
-<p>"Certainly. Eat. It is the finest fruit in the garden."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"Well, the analogy breaks down there," said Stark. "I was almost
-beginning to believe in the thing. But if it isn't that, then what.
-Father Briton, you are the linguist, but in Hebrew does not Ha-Adamah
-and Hawwah mean&mdash;?"</p>
-
-<p>"Of course they do. You know that as well as I."</p>
-
-<p>"I was never a believer. But would it be possible for the exact same
-proposition to maintain here as on Earth?"</p>
-
-<p>"All things are possible."</p>
-
-<p>And it was then that Ha-Adamah, the shining man, gave a wild cry: "No,
-no. Do not approach it. It is not allowed to eat of that one!"</p>
-
-<p>It was the pomegranate tree, and he was warning Langweilig away from it.</p>
-
-<p>"Once more, Father," said Stark, "you should be the authority; but does
-not the idea that it was the apple that was forbidden go back only to a
-medieval painting?"</p>
-
-<p>"It does. The name of the fruit is not mentioned in Genesis. In Hebrew
-exegesis, however, the pomegranate is usually indicated."</p>
-
-<p>"I thought so. Question the man further, Father. This is too
-incredible."</p>
-
-<p>"It is a little odd. Adam, old man, how long have you been here?"</p>
-
-<p>"Forever less six days is the answer that has been given to me. I never
-did understand the answer, however."</p>
-
-<p>"And have you gotten no older in all that time?"</p>
-
-<p>"I do not understand what 'older' is. I am as I have been from the
-beginning."</p>
-
-<p>"And do you think that you will ever die?"</p>
-
-<p>"To die I do not understand. I am taught that it is a property of
-fallen nature to die, and that does not pertain to me or mine."</p>
-
-<p>"And are you completely happy here?"</p>
-
-<p>"Perfectly happy according to my preternatural state. But I am taught
-that it might be possible to lose that happiness, and then to seek it
-vainly through all the ages. I am taught that sickness and ageing and
-even death could come if this happiness were ever lost. I am taught
-that on at least one other unfortunate world it has actually been lost."</p>
-
-<p>"Do you consider yourself a knowledgeable man?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, since I am the only man, and knowledge is natural to man. But I
-am further blessed. I have a preternatural intellect."</p>
-
-<p>Then Stark cut in once more: "There must be some one question you could
-ask him, Father. Some way to settle it. I am becoming nearly convinced."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, there is a question that will settle it. Adam, old man, how about
-a game of checkers?"</p>
-
-<p>"This is hardly the time for clowning," said Stark.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not clowning, Captain. How about it, Adam? I'll give you choice of
-colors and first move."</p>
-
-<p>"No. It would be no contest. I have a preternatural intellect."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, I beat a barber who was champion of Germantown. And I beat the
-champion of Morgan County, Tennessee, which is the hottest checker
-center on Earth. I've played against, and beaten, machines. But I
-never played a preternatural mind. Let's just set up the board, Adam,
-and have a go at it."</p>
-
-<p>"No. It would be no contest. I would not like to humble you."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>They were there for three days. They were delighted with the place.
-It was a world with everything, and it seemed to have only two
-inhabitants. They went everywhere except into the big cave.</p>
-
-<p>"What is there, Adam?" asked Captain Stark.</p>
-
-<p>"The great serpent lives there. I would not disturb him. He has long
-been cranky because plans he had for us did not materialize. But we
-are taught that should ever evil come to us, which it cannot if we
-persevere, it will come by him."</p>
-
-<p>They learned no more of the real nature of the sphere in their time
-there. Yet all but one of them were convinced of the reality when they
-left. And they talked of it as they took off.</p>
-
-<p>"A crowd would laugh if told of it," said Stark, "but not many would
-laugh if they had actually seen the place, or them. I am not a gullible
-man, but I am convinced of this: that this is a pristine and pure world
-and that ours and all the others we have visited are fallen worlds.
-Here are the prototypes of our first parents before their fall. They
-are garbed in light and innocence, and they have the happiness that
-we have been seeking for centuries. It would be a crime if anyone
-disturbed that happiness."</p>
-
-<p>"I too am convinced," said Steiner. "It is Paradise itself, where the
-lion lies down with the lamb, and where the serpent has not prevailed.
-It would be the darkest of crimes if we or others should play the part
-of the serpent, and intrude and spoil."</p>
-
-<p>"I am probably the most skeptical man in the world," said Casper Craig
-the tycoon, "but I do believe my eyes. I have been there and seen it.
-It is indeed an unspoiled Paradise; and it would be a crime calling to
-the wide heavens for vengeance for anyone to smirch in any way that
-perfection.</p>
-
-<p>"So much for that. Now to business. Gilbert, take a gram: Ninety
-Million Square Miles of Pristine Paradise for Sale or Lease. Farming,
-Ranching, exceptional opportunities for Horticulture. Gold, Silver,
-Iron, Earth-Type Fauna. Terms. Special Rates for Large Settlement
-Parties. Write, Gram, or call in person at any of our planetary offices
-as listed below. Ask for Brochure&mdash;Eden Acres Unlimited."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Down in the great cave that Old Serpent, a two-legged one among whose
-names were "Snake-Oil Sam," spoke to his underlings:</p>
-
-<p>"It'll take them fourteen days to get back with the settlers. We'll
-have time to overhaul the blasters. We haven't had any well-equipped
-settlers for six weeks. It used to be we'd hardly have time to strip
-and slaughter and stow before there was another batch to take care of."</p>
-
-<p>"I think you'd better write me some new lines," said Adam. "I feel like
-a goof saying those same ones to each bunch."</p>
-
-<p>"You are a goof, and therefore perfect for the part. I was in show
-business long enough to know never to change a line too soon. I did
-change Adam and Eve to Ha-Adamah and Hawwah, and the apple to the
-pomegranate. People aren't becoming any smarter&mdash;but they are becoming
-better researched, and they insist on authenticity.</p>
-
-<p>"This is still a perfect come-on here. There is something in human
-nature that cannot resist the idea of a Perfect Paradise. Folks will
-whoop and holler to their neighbors to come in droves to spoil and mar
-it. It isn't greed or the desire for new land so much&mdash;though that is
-strong too. Mainly it is the feverish passion to befoul and poison what
-is unspoiled. Fortunately I am sagacious enough to take advantage of
-this trait. And when you start to farm a new world on a shoestring you
-have to acquire your equipment as you can."</p>
-
-<p>He looked proudly around at the great cave with its mountains and tiers
-of materials, heavy machinery of all sorts, titanic crates of foodstuff
-space-sealed; wheeled, tracked, propped, vaned and jetted vehicles; and
-power packs to run a world.</p>
-
-<p>He looked at the three dozen space ships stripped and stacked, and at
-the rather large pile of bone-meal in one corner.</p>
-
-<p>"We will have to have another lion," said Eve. "Bowser is getting old,
-and Marie-Yvette abuses him and gnaws his toes. And we do have to have
-a big-maned lion to lie down with the lamb."</p>
-
-<p>"I know it, Eve. The lion is a very important prop. Maybe one of the
-crackpot settlers will bring a new lion."</p>
-
-<p>"And can't you mix another kind of shining paint? This itches. It's
-hell."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm working on it."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Casper Craig was still dictating the gram:</p>
-
-<p>"Amazing quality of longevity seemingly inherent in the locale. Climate
-ideal. Daylight or half-light. All twenty-one hours from Planet
-Delphina and from Sol. Pure water for all industrial purposes. Scenic
-and storied. Zoning and pre-settlement restrictions to insure congenial
-neighbors. A completely planned globular settlement in a near arm of
-our own galaxy. Low taxes and liberal credit. Financing our specialty&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"And you had better have an armed escort when you return," said Father
-Briton.</p>
-
-<p>"Why in cosmos would we want an armed escort?"</p>
-
-<p>"It's as phony as a seven-credit note!"</p>
-
-<p>"You, a man of the cloth doubt it? And us ready skeptics convinced by
-our senses? Why do you doubt?"</p>
-
-<p>"It is only the unbelieving who believe so easily in obvious frauds.
-Theologically unsound, dramaturgically weak, philologically impossible,
-zoologically rigged, salted conspicuously with gold and shot through
-with anachronisms. And moreover he was afraid to play me at checkers."</p>
-
-<p>"What?"</p>
-
-<p>"If I have a preternatural intellect I wouldn't be afraid of a game of
-checkers with anyone. Yet there was an unusual mind there somewhere; it
-was just that he chose not to make our acquaintance personally."</p>
-
-<p>"They looked at the priest thoughtfully.</p>
-
-<p>"But it was Paradise in one way," said Steiner at last.</p>
-
-<p>"How?"</p>
-
-<p>"All the time we were there the woman did not speak."</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of In the Garden, by R. A. Lafferty
-
-*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IN THE GARDEN ***
-
-***** This file should be named 61007-h.htm or 61007-h.zip *****
-This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
- http://www.gutenberg.org/6/1/0/0/61007/
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-
-Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will
-be renamed.
-
-Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright
-law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works,
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