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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/6093.txt b/6093.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7ba8c45 --- /dev/null +++ b/6093.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9316 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Far Away and Long Ago, by W. H. Hudson +(#4 in our series by W. H. Hudson) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Far Away and Long Ago + +Author: W. H. Hudson + +Release Date: July, 2004 [EBook #6093] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on November 4, 2002] +[Date last updated: April 11, 2006] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, FAR AWAY AND LONG AGO *** + + + + +Juliet Sutherland, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading +Team. + + + +FAR AWAY AND LONG AGO + +A HISTORY OF MY EARLY LIFE + +BY W. H. HUDSON + +Author of "Idle Days In Patagonia," "The Purple Land," +"A Crystal Age," "Adventures Among Birds," Etc. + + + + + +CONTENTS + + + + +CHAPTER I +EARLIEST MEMORIES + +Preamble--The house where I was born--The singular ombu tree--A tree +without a name--The plain--The ghost of a murdered slave--Our +playmate, the old sheep-dog--A first riding-lesson--The cattle: an +evening scene--My mother--Captain Scott--The hermit and his awful +penance + + +CHAPTER II +MY NEW HOME + +We quit our old home--A winter day journey--Aspect of the country--Our +new home--A prisoner in the barn--The plantation--A paradise of rats-- +An evening scene--The people of the house--A beggar on horseback--Mr. +Trigg our schoolmaster--His double nature--Impersonates an old woman-- +Reading Dickens--Mr. Trigg degenerates--Once more a homeless wanderer +on the great plain + + +CHAPTER III +DEATH OF AN OLD DOG + +The old dog Caesar--His powerful personality--Last days and end--The +old dog's burial--The fact of death is brought home to me--A child's +mental anguish--My mother comforts me--Limitations of the child's +mind--Fear of death--Witnessing the slaughter of cattle--A man in the +moat--Margarita, the nursery-maid--Her beauty and lovableness--Her +death--I refuse to see her dead + + +CHAPTER IV +THE PLANTATION + +Living with trees--Winter violets--The house is made habitable--Red +willow--Scizzor-tail and carrion-hawk--Lombardy poplars--Black acacia +--Other trees--The fosse or moat--Rats--A trial of strength with an +armadillo--Opossums living with a snake--Alfalfa field and +butterflies--Cane brake--Weeds and fennel--Peach trees in blossom-- +Paroquets--Singing of a field finch--Concert-singing in birds--Old +John--Cow-birds' singing--Arrival of summer migrants + + +CHAPTER V +ASPECTS OF THE PLAIN + +Appearance of a green level land--Cardoon and giant thistles--Villages +of the _vizcacha_, a large burrowing rodent--Groves and plantations +seen like islands on the wide level plains--Trees planted by the early +colonists--Decline of the colonists from an agricultural to a pastoral +people--Houses as part of the landscape--Flesh diet of the gauchos-- +Summer change in the aspect of the plain--The water-like mirage--The +giant thistle and a "thistle year"--Fear of fires--An incident at a +fire--The _pampero_, or south-west wind, and the fall of the thistles +--Thistle-down and thistle-seed as food for animals--A great pampero +storm--Big hailstones--Damage caused by hail--Zango, an old horse, +killed--Zango and his master + + +CHAPTER VI +SOME BIRD ADVENTURES + +Visit to a river on the pampas--A first long walk--Water-fowl--My +first sight of flamingoes--A great dove visitation--Strange tameness +of the birds--Vain attempts at putting salt on their tails--An ethical +question: When is a lie not a lie?--The _carancho_, a vulture-eagle-- +Our pair of _caranchos_--Their nest in a peach tree--I am ambitious to +take their eggs--The birds' crimes--I am driven off by the birds--The +nest pulled down + + +CHAPTER VII +MY FIRST VISIT TO BUENOS AYRES + +Happiest time--First visit to the capital--Old and New Buenos Ayres-- +Vivid impressions--Solitary walk--How I learnt to go alone--Lost--The +house we stayed at and the sea-like river--Rough and narrow streets-- +Rows of posts--Carts and noise--A great church festival--Young men in +black and scarlet--River scenes--Washerwomen and their language--Their +word-fights with young fashionables--Night watchmen--A young +gentleman's pastime--A fishing dog--A fine gentleman seen stoning +little birds--A glimpse of Don Eusebio, the Dictator's fool + + +CHAPTER VIII +THE TYRANT'S FALL AND WHAT FOLLOWED + +The portraits in our drawing-room--The Dictator Rosas who was like an +Englishman--The strange face of his wife, Encarnacion--The traitor +Urquiza--The Minister of War, his peacocks and his son--Home again +from the city--The war deprives us of our playmate--Natalia, our +shepherd's wife--Her son, Medardo--The Alcalde, our grand old man-- +Battle of Monte Caseros--The defeated army--Demands for fresh horses-- +In peril--My father's shining defects--His pleasure in a thunderstorm +--A childlike trust in his fellow-men--Soldiers turn upon their +officer--A refugee given up and murdered--Our Alcalde again--On +cutting throats--Ferocity and cynicism--Native blood-lust and its +effects on a boy's mind--Feeling about Rosas--A bird poem or tale-- +Vain search for lost poem and story of its authorship--The Dictator's +daughter--Time, the old god + + +CHAPTER IX +OUR NEIGHBOURS AT THE POPLARS + +Homes on the great green plain--Making the acquaintance of our +neighbours--The attraction of birds--Los Alamos and the old lady of +the house--Her treatment of St. Anthony--The strange Barboza family-- +The man of blood--Great fighters--Barboza as a singer--A great quarrel +but no fight--A cattle-marking--Dona Lucia del Ombu--A feast--Barboza +sings and is insulted by El Rengo--Refuses to fight--The two kinds of +fighters--A poor little angel on horseback--My feeling for Anjelita-- +Boys unable to express sympathy--A quarrel with a friend--Enduring +image of a little girl + + +CHAPTER X +OUR NEAREST ENGLISH NEIGHBOUR + +Casa Antigua, our nearest English neighbour's house--Old Lombardy +poplars--Cardoon thistle or wild artichoke--Mr. Royd, an English +sheep-farmer--Making sheep's-milk cheeses under difficulties--Mr. +Royd's native wife--The negro servants--The two daughters: a striking +contrast--The white blue-eyed child and her dusky playmate--A happy +family--Our visits to Casa Antigua--Gorgeous dinners--Estanislao and +his love of wild life--The Royds' return visit--A home-made carriage-- +The gaucho's primitive conveyance--The happy home broken up + + +CHAPTER XI +A BREEDER OF PIEBALDS + +La Tapera, a native estancia--Don Gregorio Gandara--His grotesque +appearance and strange laugh--Gandara's wife and her habits and pets-- +My dislike of hairless dogs--Gandara's daughters--A pet ostrich--In +the peach orchard--Gandara's herds of piebald brood mares--His +masterful temper--His own saddle-horses--Creating a sensation at +gaucho gatherings--The younger daughter's lovers--Her marriage at our +house--The priest and the wedding breakfast--Demetria forsaken by her +husband + + +CHAPTER XII +THE HEAD OF A DECAYED HOUSE + +The Estancia Canada Seca--Low lands and floods--Don Anastacio, a +gaucho exquisite--A greatly respected man--Poor relations--Don +Anastacio a pig-fancier--Narrow escape from a pig--Charm of the low +green lands--The flower called _macachina_--A sweet-tasting bulb +--Beauty of the green flower-sprinkled turf--A haunt of the golden +plover--The _bolas_--My plover-hunting experience--Rebuked by a +gaucho--A green spot, our playground in summer and lake in winter--The +venomous toad-like _Ceratophrys_--Vocal performance of the toad-like +creature--We make war on them--The great lake battle and its results + + +CHAPTER XIII +A PATRIARCH OF THE PAMPAS + +The grand old man of the plains--Don Evaristo Penalva, the Patriarch-- +My first sight of his estancia house--Don Evaristo described--A +husband of six wives--How he was esteemed and loved by every one--On +leaving home I lose sight of Don Evaristo--I meet him again after +seven years--His failing health--His old first wife and her daughter, +Cipriana--The tragedy of Cipriana--Don Evaristo dies and I lose sight +of the family + + +CHAPTER XIV +THE DOVECOTE + +A favourite climbing tree--The desire to fly--Soaring birds-A +peregrine falcon--The dovecote and pigeon-pies--The falcon's +depredations--A splendid aerial feat--A secret enemy of the dovecote-- +A short-eared owl in a loft--My father and birds--A strange flower-- +The owls' nesting-place--Great owl visitations + + +CHAPTER XV +SERPENT AND CHILD + +My pleasure in bird life--Mammals at our new home--Snakes and how +children are taught to regard them--A colony of snakes in the house-- +Their hissing confabulations--Finding serpent sloughs--A serpent's +saviour--A brief history of our English neighbours, the Blakes + + +CHAPTER XVI +A SERPENT MYSTERY + +A new feeling about snakes--Common snakes of the country--A barren +weedy patch--Discovery of a large black snake--Watching for its +reappearance--Seen going to its den--The desire to see it again--A +vain search--Watching a bat--The black serpent reappears at my feet-- +Emotions and conjectures--Melanism--My baby sister and a strange +snake--The mystery solved + + +CHAPTER XVII +A BOY'S ANIMISM + +The animistic faculty and its survival in us--A boy's animism and its +persistence--Impossibility of seeing our past exactly as it was--Serge +Aksakoff's history of his childhood--The child's delight in nature +purely physical--First intimations of animism in the child--How it +affected me--Feeling with regard to flowers--A flower and my mother +--History of a flower--Animism with regard to trees--Locust trees by +moonlight--Animism and nature-worship--Animistic emotion not uncommon +--Cowper and the Yardley oak--The religionist's fear of nature-- +Pantheistic Christianity--Survival of nature-worship in England-- +The feeling for nature--Wordsworth's pantheism and animistic emotion +in poetry + + +CHAPTER XVIII +THE NEW SCHOOLMASTER + +Mr. Trigg recalled--His successor--Father O'Keefe--His mild rule and +love of angling--My brother is assisted in his studies by the priest-- +Happy fishing afternoons--The priest leaves us--How he had been +working out his own salvation--We run wild once more--My brother's +plan for a journal to be called _The Tin Box_--Our imperious editor's +exactions--My little brother revolts--_The Tin Box_ smashed up--The +loss it was to me + + +CHAPTER XIX +BROTHERS + +Our third and last schoolmaster--His many accomplishments--His +weakness and final breakdown--My important brother--Four brothers, +unlike in everything except the voice--A strange meeting--Jack the +Killer, his life and character--A terrible fight--My brother seeks +instructions from Jack--The gaucho's way of fighting and Jack's +contrasted--Our sham fight with knives--A wound and the result--My +feeling about Jack and his eyes--Bird-lore--My two elder brothers' +practical joke + + +CHAPTER XX +BIRDING IN THE MARSHES + +Visiting the marshes--Pajonales and juncales--Abundant bird life--A +coots' metropolis--Frightening the coots--Grebe and painted snipe +colonies--The haunt of the social marsh hawk--The beautiful jacana and +its eggs--The colony of marsh trupials--The bird's music--The aquatic +plant durasmillo--The trupial's nest and eggs--Recalling a beauty +that has vanished--Our games with gaucho boys--I am injured by a bad +boy--The shepherd's advice--Getting my revenge in a treacherous +manner--Was it right or wrong?--The game of hunting the ostrich + + +CHAPTER XXI +WILD-FOWLING ADVENTURES + +My sporting brother and the armoury--I attend him on his shooting +expeditions--Adventure with golden plover--A morning after wild duck-- +Our punishment--I learn to shoot--My first gun--My first wild duck--My +ducking tactics--My gun's infirmities--Duck-shooting with a +blunderbuss--Ammunition runs out--An adventure with rosy-bill duck-- +Coarse gunpowder and home-made shot--The war danger comes our way--We +prepare to defend the house--The danger over and my brother leaves +home + + +CHAPTER XXII +BOYHOOD'S END + +The book--The Saladero, or killing-grounds, and their smell--Walls +built of bullocks' skulls--A pestilential city--River water and Aljibe +water--Days of lassitude--Novel scenes--Home again--Typhus--My first +day out--Birthday reflections--What I asked of life--A boy's mind--A +brother's resolution--End of our thousand and one nights--A reading +spell--My boyhood ends in disaster + + +CHAPTER XXIII +A DARKENED LIFE + +A severe illness--Case pronounced hopeless--How it affected me-- +Religious doubts and a mind distressed--Lawless thoughts--Conversation +with an old gaucho about religion--George Combe and the desire for +immortality + + +CHAPTER XXIV +LOSS AND GAIN + +The soul's loneliness--My mother and her death--A mother's love for +her son--Her character--Anecdotes--A mystery and a revelation--The +autumnal migration of birds--Moonlight vigils--My absent brother's +return--He introduces me to Darwin's works--A new philosophy of life-- +Conclusion + + + + +CHAPTER I + +EARLIEST MEMORIES + +Preamble--The house where I was born--The singular Ombu tree--A tree +without a name--The plain--The ghost of a murdered slave--Our +playmate, the old sheep-dog--A first riding-lesson--The cattle: an +evening scene--My mother--Captain Scott--The hermit and his awful +penance. + + + +It was never my intention to write an autobiography. Since I took to +writing in my middle years I have, from time to time, related some +incident of my boyhood, and these are contained in various chapters in +_The Naturalist in La Plata, Birds and Man, Adventures among Birds,_ +and other works, also in two or three magazine articles: all this +material would have been kept back if I had contemplated such a book +as this. When my friends have asked me in recent years why I did not +write a history of my early life on the pampas, my answer was that I +had already told all that was worth telling in these books. And I +really believed it was so; for when a person endeavours to recall his +early life in its entirety he finds it is not possible: he is like +one who ascends a hill to survey the prospect before him on a day of +heavy cloud and shadow, who sees at a distance, now here, now there, +some feature in the landscape--hill or wood or tower or spire--touched +and made conspicuous by a transitory sunbeam while all else remains in +obscurity. The scenes, people, events we are able by an effort to call +up do not present themselves in order; there is no order, no sequence +or regular progression--nothing, in fact, but isolated spots or +patches, brightly illumined and vividly seen, in the midst of a wide +shrouded mental landscape. + +It is easy to fall into the delusion that the few things thus +distinctly remembered and visualized are precisely those which were +most important in our life, and on that account were saved by memory +while all the rest has been permanently blotted out. That is indeed +how our memory serves and fools us; for at some period of a man's +life--at all events of some lives--in some rare state of the mind, it +is all at once revealed to him as by a miracle that nothing is ever +blotted out. + +It was through falling into some such state as that, during which I +had a wonderfully clear and continuous vision of the past, that I was +tempted--forced I may say--to write this account of my early years. I +will relate the occasion, as I imagine that the reader who is a +psychologist will find as much to interest him in this incident as in +anything else contained in the book. + +I was feeling weak and depressed when I came down from London one +November evening to the south coast: the sea, the clear sky, the +bright colours of the afterglow kept me too long on the front in an +east wind in that low condition, with the result that I was laid up +for six weeks with a very serious illness. Yet when it was over I +looked back on those six weeks as a happy time! Never had I thought so +little of physical pain. Never had I felt confinement less--I who +feel, when I am out of sight of living, growing grass, and out of +sound of birds' voices and all rural sounds, that I am not properly +alive! + +On the second day of my illness, during an interval of comparative +ease, I fell into recollections of my childhood, and at once I had +that far, that forgotten past with me again as I had never previously +had it. It was not like that mental condition, known to most persons, +when some sight or sound or, more frequently, the perfume of some +flower, associated with our early life, restores the past suddenly and +so vividly that it is almost an illusion. That is an intensely +emotional condition and vanishes as quickly as it comes. This was +different. To return to the simile and metaphor used at the beginning, +it was as if the cloud shadows and haze had passed away and the entire +wide prospect beneath me made clearly visible. Over it all my eyes +could range at will, choosing this or that point to dwell on, to +examine it in all its details; and, in the case of some person known +to me as a child, to follow his life till it ended or passed from +sight; then to return to the same point again to repeat the process +with other lives and resume my rambles in the old familiar haunts. + +What a happiness it would be, I thought, in spite of discomfort and +pain and danger, if this vision would continue! It was not to be +expected; nevertheless it did not vanish, and on the second day I set +myself to try and save it from the oblivion which would presently +cover it again. Propped up with pillows I began with pencil and +writing-pad to put it down in some sort of order, and went on with it +at intervals during the whole six weeks of my confinement, and in this +way produced the first rough draft of the book. + +And all this time I never ceased wondering at my own mental state; I +thought of it when, quickly tired, my trembling fingers dropped the +pencil; or when I woke from uneasy sleep to find the vision still +before me, inviting, insistently calling to me, to resume my childish +rambles and adventures of long ago in that strange world where I first +saw the light. + +It was to me a marvellous experience; to be here, propped up with +pillows in a dimly-lighted room, the night-nurse idly dosing by the +fire; the sound of the everlasting wind in my ears, howling outside +and dashing the rain like hailstones against the window-panes; to be +awake to all this, feverish and ill and sore, conscious of my danger +too, and at the same time to be thousands of miles away, out in the +sun and wind, rejoicing in other sights and sounds, happy again with +that ancient long-lost and now recovered happiness! + +During the three years that have passed since I had that strange +experience, I have from time to time, when in the mood, gone back to +the book and have had to cut it down a good deal and to reshape it, as +in the first draft it would have made too long and formless a history. + +The house where I was born, on the South American pampas, was quaintly +named _Los Veinte-cinco Ombues,_ which means "The Twenty-five Ombu +Trees," there being just twenty-five of these indigenous trees-- +gigantic in size, and standing wide apart in a row about 400 yards +long. The ombu is a very singular tree indeed, and being the only +representative of tree-vegetation, natural to the soil, on those great +level plains, and having also many curious superstitions connected +with it, it is a romance in itself. It belongs to the rare Phytolacca +family, and has an immense girth--forty or fifty feet in some cases; +at the same time the wood is so soft and spongy that it can be cut +into with a knife, and is utterly unfit for firewood, for when cut up +it refuses to dry, but simply rots away like a ripe water-melon. It +also grows slowly, and its leaves, which are large, glossy and deep +green, like laurel leaves, are poisonous; and because of its +uselessness it will probably become extinct, like the graceful pampas +grass in the same region. In this exceedingly practical age men +quickly lay the axe at the root of things which, in their view, only +cumber the ground; but before other trees had been planted the +antiquated and grand-looking ombu had its uses; it served as a +gigantic landmark to the traveller on the great monotonous plains, and +also afforded refreshing shade to man and horse in summer; while the +native doctor or herbalist would sometimes pluck a leaf for a patient +requiring a very violent remedy for his disorder. Our trees were about +a century old and very large, and, as they stood on an elevation, they +could be easily seen at a distance of ten miles. At noon in summer the +cattle and sheep, of which we had a large number, used to rest in +their shade; one large tree also afforded us children a splendid play- +house, and we used to carry up a number of planks to construct safe +bridges from branch to branch, and at noon, when our elders were +sleeping their siesta, we would have our arboreal games unmolested. + +Besides the famous twenty-five, there was one other tree of a +different species, growing close to the house, and this was known all +over the neighbourhood as "The Tree," this proud name having been +bestowed on it because it was the only one of the kind known in that +part of the country; our native neighbours always affirmed that it was +the only one in the world. It was a fine large old tree, with a white +bark, long smooth white thorns, and dark-green undeciduous foliage. +Its blossoming time was in November--a month about as hot as an +English July--and it would then become covered with tassels of minute +wax-like flowers, pale straw-colour, and of a wonderful fragrance, +which the soft summer wind would carry for miles on its wings. And in +this way our neighbours would discover that the flowering season had +come to the tree they so much admired, and they would come to beg for +a branch to take home with them to perfume their lowly houses. + +The pampas are, in most places, level as a billiard-table; just where +we lived, however, the country happened to be undulating, and our +house stood on the summit of one of the highest elevations. Before the +house stretched a great grassy plain, level to the horizon, while at +the back it sloped abruptly down to a broad, deep stream, which +emptied itself in the river Plata, about six miles to the east. This +stream, with its three ancient red willow-trees growing on the banks, +was a source of endless pleasure to us. Whenever we went down to play +on the banks, the fresh penetrating scent of the moist earth had a +strangely exhilarating effect, making us wild with joy. I am able now +to recall these sensations, and believe that the sense of smell, which +seems to diminish as we grow older, until it becomes something +scarcely worthy of being called a sense, is nearly as keen in little +children as in the inferior animals, and, when they live with nature, +contributes as much to their pleasure as sight or hearing. I have +often observed that small children, when brought on to low, moist +ground from a high level, give loose to a sudden spontaneous gladness, +running, shouting, and rolling over the grass just like dogs, and I +have no doubt that the fresh smell of the earth is the cause of their +joyous excitement. + +Our house was a long low structure, built of brick, and, being very +old, naturally had the reputation of being haunted. A former +proprietor, half a century before I was born, once had among his +slaves a very handsome young negro, who, on account of his beauty and +amiability, was a special favourite with his mistress. Her preference +filled his poor silly brains with dreams and aspirations, and, +deceived by her gracious manner, he one day ventured to approach her +in the absence of his master and told her his feelings. She could not +forgive so terrible an insult to her pride, and when her husband +returned went to him, white with indignation, and told him how this +miserable slave had abused their kindness. The husband had an +implacable heart, and at his command the offender was suspended by the +wrists to a low, horizontal branch of "The Tree," and there, in sight +of his master and mistress, he was scourged to death by his fellow- +slaves. His battered body was then taken down and buried in a deep +hollow at some little distance from the last of the long row of ombu +trees. It was the ghost of this poor black, whose punishment had been +so much heavier than his offence deserved, that was supposed to haunt +the place. It was not, however, a conventional ghost, stalking about +in a white sheet; those who had seen it averred that it invariably +rose up from the spot where the body had been buried, like a pale, +luminous exhalation from the earth, and, assuming a human shape, +floated slowly towards the house, and roamed about the great trees, +or, seating itself on an old projecting root, would remain motionless +for hours in a dejected attitude. I never saw it. + +Our constant companion and playmate in those days was a dog, whose +portrait has never faded from remembrance, for he was a dog with +features and a personality which impressed themselves deeply on the +mind. He came to us in a rather mysterious manner. One summer evening +the shepherd was galloping round the flock, and trying by means of +much shouting to induce the lazy sheep to move homewards. A strange- +looking lame dog suddenly appeared on the scene, as if it had dropped +from the clouds, and limping briskly after the astonished and +frightened sheep, drove them straight home and into the fold; and, +after thus earning his supper and showing what stuff was in him, he +established himself at the house, where he was well received. He was a +good-sized animal, with a very long body, a smooth black coat, tan +feet, muzzle, and "spectacles," and a face of extraordinary length, +which gave him a profoundly-wise baboon-like expression. One of his +hind legs had been broken or otherwise injured, so that he limped and +shuffled along in a peculiar lopsided fashion; he had no tail, and his +ears had been cropped close to his head: altogether he was like an old +soldier returned from the wars, where he had received many hard +knocks, besides having had sundry portions of his anatomy shot away. + +No name to fit this singular canine visitor could be found, although +he responded readily enough to the word _Pechicho,_ which is used to +call any unnamed pup by, like pussy for a cat. So it came to pass that +this word _pechicho_--equivalent to "doggie" in English--stuck to him +for only name until the end of the chapter; and the end was that, +after spending some years with us, he mysteriously disappeared. + +He very soon proved to us that he understood children as well as +sheep; at all events he would allow them to tease and pull him about +most unmercifully, and actually appeared to enjoy it. Our first +riding-lessons were taken on his back; but old Pechicho eventually +made one mistake, after which he was relieved from the labour of +carrying us. When I was about four years old, my two elder brothers, +in the character of riding-masters, set me on his back, and, in order +to test my capacity for sticking on under difficulties, they rushed +away, calling him. The old dog, infected with the pretended +excitement, bounded after them, and I was thrown and had my leg +broken, for, as the poet says-- + + Children, they are very little, + And their bones are very brittle. + +Luckily their little brittle bones quickly solder, and it did not take +me long to recover from the effects of this mishap. + +No doubt my canine steed was as much troubled as any one at the +accident. I seem to see the wise old fellow now, sitting in that +curious one-sided fashion he had acquired so as to rest his lame leg, +his mouth opened to a kind of immense smile, and his brown benevolent +eyes regarding us with just such an expression as one sees in a +faithful old negress nursing a flock of troublesome white children--so +proud and happy to be in charge of the little ones of a superior race! + +All that I remember of my early life at this place comes between the +ages of three or four and five; a period which, to the eye of memory, +appears like a wide plain blurred over with a low-lying mist, with +here and there a group of trees, a house, a hill, or other large +object, standing out in the clear air with marvellous distinctness. +The picture that most often presents itself is of the cattle coming +home in the evening; the green quiet plain extending away from the +gate to the horizon; the western sky flushed with sunset hues, and the +herd of four or five hundred cattle trotting homewards with loud +lowings and bellowings, raising a great cloud of dust with their +hoofs, while behind gallop the herdsmen urging them on with wild +cries. Another picture is of my mother at the close of the day, when +we children, after our supper of bread and milk, join in a last grand +frolic on the green before the house. I see her sitting out of doors +watching our sport with a smile, her book lying in her lap, and the +last rays of the setting sun shining on her face. + +When I think of her I remember with gratitude that our parents seldom +or never punished us, and never, unless we went too far in our +domestic dissensions or tricks, even chided us. This, I am convinced, +is the right attitude for parents to observe, modestly to admit that +nature is wiser than they are, and to let their little ones follow, as +far as possible, the bent of their own minds, or whatever it is they +have in place of minds. It is the attitude of the sensible hen towards +her ducklings, when she has had frequent experience of their +incongruous ways, and is satisfied that they know best what is good +for them; though, of course, their ways seem peculiar to her, and she +can never entirely sympathize with their fancy for going into water. I +need not be told that the hen is after all only step-mother to her +ducklings, since I am contending that the civilized woman--the +artificial product of our self-imposed conditions--cannot have the +same relation to her offspring as the uncivilized woman really has to +hers. The comparison, therefore, holds good, the mother with us being +practically step-mother to children of another race; and if she is +sensible, and amenable to nature's teaching, she will attribute their +seemingly unsuitable ways and appetites to the right cause, and not to +a hypothetical perversity or inherent depravity of heart, about which +many authors will have spoken to her in many books: + + But though they wrote it all by rote + They did not write it right. + +Of all the people outside of the domestic circle known to me in those +days, two individuals only are distinctly remembered. They were +certainly painted by memory in very strong unfading colours, so that +now they seem to stand like living men in a company of pale phantom +forms. This is probably due to the circumstance that they were +considerably more grotesque in appearance than the others, like old +Pechicho among our dogs--all now forgotten save him. + +One was an Englishman named Captain Scott, who used to visit us +occasionally for a week's shooting or fishing, for he was a great +sportsman. We were all extremely fond of him, for he was one of those +simple men that love and sympathize with children; besides that, he +used to come to us from some distant wonderful place where sugar-plums +were made, and to our healthy appetites, unaccustomed to sweets of any +description, these things tasted like an angelic kind of food. He was +an immense man, with a great round face of a purplish-red colour, like +the sun setting in glory, and surrounded with a fringe of silvery- +white hair and whiskers, standing out like the petals round the disc +of a sunflower. It was always a great time when Captain Scott arrived, +and while he alighted from his horse we would surround him with loud +demonstrations of welcome, eager for the treasures which made his +pockets bulge out on all sides. When he went out gunning he always +remembered to shoot a hawk or some strangely-painted bird for us; it +was even better when he went fishing, for then he took us with him, +and while he stood motionless on the bank, rod in hand, looking, in +the light-blue suit he always wore, like a vast blue pillar crowned +with that broad red face, we romped on the sward, and revelled in the +dank fragrance of the earth and rushes. + +I have not the faintest notion of who Captain Scott was, or of what he +was ever captain, or whether residence in a warm climate or hard +drinking had dyed his broad countenance with that deep magenta red, +nor of how and when he finished his earthly career; for when we moved +away the huge purple-faced strange-looking man dropped for ever out of +our lives; yet in my mind how beautiful his gigantic image looks! And +to this day I bless his memory for all the sweets he gave me, in a +land where sweets were scarce, and for his friendliness to me when I +was a very small boy. + +The second well-remembered individual was also only an occasional +visitor at our house, and was known all over the surrounding country +as the Hermit, for his name was never discovered. He was perpetually +on the move, visiting in turn every house within a radius of forty or +fifty miles; and once about every seven or eight weeks he called on us +to receive a few articles of food--enough for the day's consumption. +Money he always refused with gestures of intense disgust, and he would +also decline cooked meat and broken bread. When hard biscuits were +given him, he would carefully examine them, and if one was found +chipped or cracked he would return it, pointing out the defect, and +ask for a sound one in return. He had a small, sun-parched face, and +silvery long hair; but his features were fine, his teeth white and +even, his eyes clear grey and keen as a falcon's. There was always a +set expression of deep mental anguish on his face, intensified with +perhaps a touch of insanity, which made it painful to look at him. As +he never accepted money or anything but food, he of course made his +own garments--and what garments they were! Many years ago I used to +see, strolling about St. James's Park, a huge hairy gentleman, with a +bludgeon in his hand, and clothed with a bear's skin to which the head +and paws were attached. It may be that this eccentric individual is +remembered by some of my readers, but I assure them that he was quite +a St. James's Park dandy compared with my hermit. He wore a pair of +gigantic shoes, about a foot broad at the toes, made out of thick cow- +hide with the hair on; and on his head was a tall rimless cow-hide hat +shaped like an inverted flower-pot. His bodily covering was, however, +the most extraordinary: the outer garment, if garment it can be +called, resembled a very large mattress in size and shape, with the +ticking made of innumerable pieces of raw hide sewn together. It was +about a foot in thickness and stuffed with sticks, stones, hard lumps +of clay, rams' horns, bleached bones, and other hard heavy objects; it +was fastened round him with straps of hide, and reached nearly to the +ground. The figure he made in this covering was most horribly uncouth +and grotesque, and his periodical visits used to throw us into a great +state of excitement. And as if this awful burden with which he had +saddled himself--enough to have crushed down any two ordinary men--was +not sufficient, he had weighted the heavy stick used to support his +steps with a great ball at the end, also with a large circular bell- +shaped object surrounding the middle. On arriving at the house, where +the dogs would become frantic with terror and rage at sight of him, he +would stand resting himself for eight or ten minutes; then in a +strange language, which might have been Hebrew or Sanscrit, for there +was no person learned enough in the country to understand it, he would +make a long speech or prayer in a clear ringing voice, intoning his +words in a monotonous sing-song. His speech done, he would beg, in +broken Spanish, for the usual charity; and, after receiving it, he +would commence another address, possibly invoking blessings of all +kinds on the donor, and lasting an unconscionable time. Then, bidding +a ceremonious farewell, he would take his departure. + +From the sound of certain oft-recurring expressions in his recitations +we children called him "Con-stair Lo-vair"; perhaps some clever pundit +will be able to tell me what these words mean--the only fragment saved +of the hermit's mysterious language. It was commonly reported that he +had at one period of his life committed some terrible crime, and that, +pursued by the phantoms of remorse, he had fled to this distant +region, where he would never be met and denounced by any former +companion, and had adopted his singular mode of life by way of +penance. This was, of course, mere conjecture, for nothing could be +extracted from him. When closely questioned or otherwise interfered +with, then old Con-stair Lo-vair would show that his long cruel +penance had not yet banished the devil from his heart. A terrible +wrath would disfigure his countenance and kindle his eyes with +demoniac fire; and in sharp ringing tones, that wounded like strokes, +he would pour forth a torrent of words in his unknown language, +doubtless invoking every imaginable curse on his tormentor. + +For upwards of twenty years after I as a small child made his +acquaintance he continued faithfully pursuing his dreary rounds, +exposed to cold and rain in winter and to the more trying heats of +summer; until at last he was discovered lying dead on the plain, +wasted by old age and famine to a mere skeleton, and even in death +still crushed down with that awful burden he had carried for so many +years. Thus, consistent to the end, and with his secret untold to any +sympathetic human soul, perished poor old Con-stair Lo-vair, the +strangest of all strange beings I have met with in my journey through +life. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +MY NEW HOME + +We quit our old home--A winter day journey--Aspect of the country--Our +new home--A prisoner in the barn--The plantation--A paradise of rats-- +An evening scene--The people of the house--A beggar on horseback--Mr. +Trigg our schoolmaster--His double nature--Impersonates an old woman-- +Reading Dickens--Mr. Trigg degenerates--Once more a homeless wanderer +on the great plain. + + + +The incidents and impressions recorded in the preceding chapter +relate, as I have said, to the last year or two of my five years of +life in the place of my birth. Further back my memory refuses to take +me. Some wonderful persons go back to their second or even their first +year; I can't, and could only tell from hearsay what I was and did up +to the age of three. According to all accounts, the clouds of glory I +brought into the world--a habit of smiling at everything I looked at +and at every person that approached me--ceased to be visibly trailed +at about that age; I only remember myself as a common little boy--just +a little wild animal running about on its hind legs, amazingly +interested in the world in which it found itself. + +Here, then, I begin, aged five, at an early hour on a bright, cold +morning in June--midwinter in that southern country of great plains or +pampas; impatiently waiting for the loading and harnessing to be +finished; then the being lifted to the top with the other little ones +--at that time we were five; finally, the grand moment when the start +was actually made with cries and much noise of stamping and snorting +of horses and rattling of chains. I remember a good deal of that long +journey, which began at sunrise and ended between the lights some time +after sunset; for it was my very first, and I was going out into the +unknown. I remember how, at the foot of the slope at the top of which +the old home stood, we plunged into the river, and there was more +noise and shouting and excitement until the straining animals brought +us safely out on the other side. Gazing back, the low roof of the +house was lost to view before long, but the trees--the row of twenty- +five giant ombu-trees which gave the place its name--were visible, +blue in the distance, until we were many miles on our way. + +The undulating country had been left behind; before us and on both +sides the land, far as one could see, was absolutely flat, everywhere +green with the winter grass, but flowerless at that season, and with +the gleam of water, over the whole expanse. It had been a season of +great rains, and much of the flat country had been turned into shallow +lakes. That was all there was to see, except the herds of cattle and +horses and an occasional horseman galloping over the plain, and the +sight at long distances of a grove or small plantation of trees, +marking the site of an estancia, or sheep and cattle farm, these +groves appearing like islands on the sea-like flat country. At length +this monotonous landscape faded and vanished quite away, and the +lowing of cattle and tremulous bleating of sheep died out of hearing, +so that the last leagues were a blank to me, and I only came back to +my senses when it was dark and they lifted me down, so stiff with cold +and drowsy that I could hardly stand on my feet. + +Next morning I found myself in a new and strange world. The house to +my childish eyes appeared of vast size: it consisted of a long range +of rooms on the ground, built of brick, with brick floors and roof +thatched with rushes. The rooms at one end, fronting the road, formed +a store, where the people of the surrounding country came to buy and +sell, and what they brought to sell was "the produce of the country"-- +hides and wool and tallow in bladders, horsehair in sacks, and native +cheeses. In return they could purchase anything they wanted-knives, +spurs, rings for horse-gear, clothing, yerba mate and sugar; tobacco, +castor-oil, salt and pepper, and oil and vinegar, and such furniture +as they required--iron pots, spits for roasting, cane-chairs, and +coffins. A little distance from the house were the kitchen, bakery, +dairy, huge barns for storing the produce, and wood-piles big as +houses, the wood being nothing but stalks of the cardoon thistle or +wild artichoke, which burns like paper, so that immense quantities had +to be collected to supply fuel for a large establishment. + +Two of the smallest of us were handed over to the care of a sharp +little native boy, aged about nine or ten years, who was told to take +us out of the way and keep us amused. The first place he took us to +was the great barn, the door of which stood open; it was nearly empty +just then, and was the biggest interior I had ever seen; how big it +really was I don't know, but it seemed to me about as big as Olympia +or the Agricultural Hall, or the Crystal Palace would be to any +ordinary little London boy. No sooner were we in this vast place than +we saw a strange and startling thing--a man, sitting or crouching on +the floor, his hands before him, the wrists tied together, his body +bound with thongs of raw hide to a big post which stood in the centre +of the floor and supported the beam of the loft above. He was a young +man, not more than twenty perhaps, with black hair and a smooth, pale, +sallow face. His eyes were cast down, and he paid no attention to us, +standing there staring at him, and he appeared to be suffering or ill. +After a few moments I shrank away to the door and asked our conductor +in a frightened whisper why he was tied up to a post there. Our native +boy seemed to be quite pleased at the effect on us, and answered +cheerfully that he was a murderer--he had committed a murder +somewhere, and had been caught last evening, but as it was too late to +take him to the lock-up at the village, which was a long distance +away, they had brought him here as the most convenient place, and tied +him in the barn to keep him safe. Later on they would come and take +him away. + +Murder was a common word in those days, but I had not at that time +grasped its meaning; I had seen no murder done, nor any person killed +in a fight; I only knew that it must be something wicked and horrible. +Nevertheless, the shock I had received passed away in the course of +that first morning in a new world; but what I had seen in the barn was +not forgotten: the image of that young man tied to the post, his bent +head and downward gaze, and ghastly face shaded by lank black hair, is +as plain to me now as if I had seen him but yesterday. + +A little back from the buildings were gardens and several acres of +plantation--both shade and fruit trees. Viewed from the outside, it +all looked like an immense poplar grove, on account of the double rows +of tall Lombardy poplar trees at the borders. The whole ground, +including the buildings, was surrounded by an immense ditch or moat. + +Up till now I had lived without trees, with the exception of those +twenty-five I have spoken of, which formed a landmark for all the +country round; so that this great number--hundreds and thousands--of +trees was a marvel and delight. But the plantation and what it was to +me will form the subject of a chapter by itself. It was a paradise of +rats, as I very soon discovered. Our little native guide and +instructor was full of the subject, and promised to let us see the +rats with our own eyes as soon as the sun went down; that would finish +the day of strange sights with the strangest of all. + +Accordingly, when the time came he led us to a spot beyond the barns +and wood-piles, where all the offal of slaughtered animals, bones, and +unconsumed meats from the kitchen, and rubbish from a wasteful, +disorderly establishment, were cast out each day. Here we all sat down +in a row on a log among the dead weeds on the border of the evil- +smelling place, and he told us to be very still and speak no word; +for, said he, unless we move or make a sound the rats will not heed +us; they will regard us as so many wooden images. And so it proved, +for very soon after the sun had gone down we began to see rats +stealing out of the woodpile and from the dead weeds on every side, +all converging to that one spot where a generous table was spread for +them and for the brown carrion hawks that came by day. Big, old, grey +rats with long, scaly tails, others smaller, and smaller still, the +least of all being little bigger than mice, until the whole place +swarmed with them, all busily hunting for food, feeding, squealing, +fighting, and biting. I had not known that the whole world contained +so many rats as I now saw congregated before me. + +Suddenly our guide jumped up and loudly clapped his hands, which +produced a curious effect--a short, sharp little shriek of terror from +the busy multitude, followed by absolute stillness, every rat frozen +to stone, which lasted for a second or two; then a swift scuttling +away in all directions, vanishing with a rustling sound through the +dead grass and wood. + +It had been a fine spectacle, and we enjoyed it amazingly; it raised +_Mus decumanus_ to a beast of immense importance in my mind. Soon he +became even more important in an unpleasant way when it was discovered +that rats were abundant indoors as well as out. The various noises +they made at night were terrifying; they would run over our beds and +sometimes we would wake up to find that one had got in between the +sheets and was trying frantically to get out. Then we would yell, and +half the house would be roused and imagine some dreadful thing. But +when they found out the cause, they would only laugh at and rebuke us +for being such poor little cowards. + +But what an astonishing place was this to which we had come! The great +house and many buildings and the people in it, the foss, the trees +that enchanted me, the dirt and disorder, vile rats and fleas and +pests of all sorts! The place had been for some years in the hands of +a Spanish or native family--indolent, careless, happy-go-lucky people. +The husband and wife were never in harmony or agreement about anything +for five minutes together, and by and by he would go away to the +capital "on business," which would keep him from home for weeks, and +even months, at a stretch. And she, with three light-headed, grown-up +daughters, would be left to run the establishment with half-a-dozen +hired men and women to assist her. I remember her well, as she stayed +on a few days in order to hand over the place to us--an excessively +fat, inactive woman, who sat most of the day in an easy-chair, +surrounded by her pets--lap-dogs, Amazon parrots, and several +shrieking parakeets. + +Before many days she left, with all her noisy crowd of dogs and birds +and daughters, and of the events of the succeeding days and weeks +nothing remains in memory except one exceedingly vivid impression--my +first sight of a beggar on horseback. It was by no means an uncommon +sight in those days when, as the gauchos were accustomed to say, a man +without a horse was a man without legs; but it was new to me when one +morning I saw a tall man on a tall horse ride up to our gate, +accompanied by a boy of nine or ten on a pony. I was struck with the +man's singular appearance, sitting upright and stiff in his saddle, +staring straight before him. He had long grey hair and beard, and wore +a tall straw hat shaped like an inverted flower-pot, with a narrow +brim--a form of hat which had lately gone out of fashion among the +natives but was still used by a few. Over his clothes he wore a red +cloak or poncho, and heavy iron spurs on his feet, which were cased in +the _botas de potro_, or long stockings made of a colt's untanned +hide. + +Arrived at the gate he shouted _Ave Maria purissima_ in a loud voice, +then proceeded to give an account of himself, informing us that he was +a blind man and obliged to subsist on the charity of his neighbours. +They in their turn, he said, in providing him with all he required +were only doing good to themselves, seeing that those who showed the +greatest compassion towards their afflicted fellow-creatures were +regarded with special favour by the Powers above. + +After delivering himself of all this and much more as if preaching a +sermon, he was assisted from his horse and led by the hand to the +front door, after which the boy drew back and folding his arms across +his breast stared haughtily at us children and the others who had +congregated at the spot. Evidently he was proud of his position as +page or squire or groom of the important person in the tall straw hat, +red cloak, and iron spurs, who galloped about the land collecting +tribute from the people and talking loftily about the Powers above. + +Asked what he required at our hands the beggar replied that he wanted +yerba mate, sugar, bread, and some hard biscuits, also cut tobacco and +paper for cigarettes and some leaf tobacco for cigars. When all these +things had been given him, he was asked (not ironically) if there was +anything else we could supply him with, and he replied, Yes, he was +still in want of rice, flour, and farina, an onion or two, a head or +two of garlic, also salt, pepper, and pimento, or red pepper. And when +he had received all these comestibles and felt them safely packed in +his saddle-bags, he returned thanks, bade good-bye in the most +dignified manner, and was led back by the haughty little boy to his +tall horse. + + We had been settled some months in our new home, and I was just about +half way through my sixth year, when one morning at breakfast we +children were informed to our utter dismay that we could no longer be +permitted to run absolutely wild; that a schoolmaster had been engaged +who would live in the house and would have us in the schoolroom during +the morning and part of the afternoon. + +Our hearts were heavy in us that day, while we waited apprehensively +for the appearance of the man who would exercise such a tremendous +power over us and would stand between us and our parents, especially +our mother, who had ever been our shield and refuge from all pains and +troubles. Up till now they had acted on the principle that children +were best left to themselves, that the more liberty they had the +better it was for them. Now it almost looked as if they were turning +against us; but we knew that it could not be so--we knew that every +slightest pain or grief that touched us was felt more keenly by our +mother than by ourselves, and we were compelled to believe her when +she told us that she, too, lamented the restraint that would be put +upon us, but knew that it would be for our ultimate good. + +And on that very afternoon the feared man arrived, Mr. Trigg by name, +an Englishman, a short, stoutish, almost fat little man, with grey +hair, clean-shaved sunburnt face, a crooked nose which had been broken +or was born so, clever mobile mouth, and blue-grey eyes with a +humorous twinkle in them and crow's-feet at the corners. Only to us +youngsters, as we soon discovered, that humorous face and the +twinkling eyes were capable of a terrible sternness. He was loved, I +think, by adults generally, and regarded with feelings of an opposite +nature by children. For he was a schoolmaster who hated and despised +teaching as much as children in the wild hated to be taught. He +followed teaching because all work was excessively irksome to him, yet +he had to do something for a living, and this was the easiest thing he +could find to do. How such a man ever came to be so far from home in a +half-civilized country was a mystery, but there he was, a bachelor and +homeless man after twenty or thirty years on the pampas, with little +or no money in his pocket, and no belongings except his horse--he +never owned more than one at a time--and its cumbrous native saddle, +and the saddle-bags in which he kept his wardrobe and whatever he +possessed besides. He didn't own a box. On his horse, with his saddle- +bags behind him, he would journey about the land, visiting all the +English, Scotch, and Irish settlers, who were mostly sheep-farmers, +but religiously avoiding the houses of the natives. With the natives +he could not affiliate, and not properly knowing and incapable of +understanding them he regarded them with secret dislike and suspicion. +And by and by he would find a house where there were children old +enough to be taught their letters, and Mr. Trigg would be hired by the +month, like a shepherd or cowherd, to teach them, living with the +family. He would go on very well for a time, his failings being +condoned for the sake of the little ones; but by and by there would be +a falling-out, and Mr. Trigg would saddle his horse, buckle on the +saddle-bags, and ride forth over the wide plain in quest of a new +home. With us he made an unusually long stay; he liked good living and +comforts generally, and at the same time he was interested in the +things of the mind, which had no place in the lives of the British +settlers of that period; and now he found himself in a very +comfortable house, where there were books to read and people to +converse with who were not quite like the rude sheep- and cattle- +farmers he had been accustomed to live with. He was on his best +behaviour, and no doubt strove hard and not unsuccessfully to get the +better of his weaknesses. He was looked on as a great acquisition, and +made much of; in the school-room he was a tyrant, and having been +forbidden to punish us by striking, he restrained himself when to +thrash us would have been an immense relief to him. But pinching was +not striking, and he would pinch our ears until they almost bled. It +was a poor punishment and gave him little satisfaction, but it had to +serve. Out of school his temper would change as by magic. He was then +the life of the house, a delightful talker with an inexhaustible fund +of good stories, a good reader, mimic, and actor as well. + +One afternoon we had a call from a quaint old Scotch dame, in a queer +dress, sunbonnet, and spectacles, who introduced herself as the wife +of Sandy Maclachlan, a sheep-farmer who lived about twenty-five miles +away. It wasn't right, she said, that such near neighbours should not +know one another, so she had ridden those few leagues to find out what +we were like. Established at the tea-table, she poured out a torrent +of talk in broadest Scotch, in her high-pitched cracked old-woman's +voice, and gave us an intimate domestic history of all the British +residents of the district. It was all about what delightful people +they were, and how even their little weaknesses--their love of the +bottle, their meannesses, their greed and low cunning--only served to +make them more charming. Never was there such a funny old dame or one +more given to gossip and scandal-mongering! Then she took herself off, +and presently we children, still under her spell, stole out to watch +her departure from the gate. But she was not there--she had vanished +unaccountably; and by and by what was our astonishment and disgust to +hear that the old Scotch body was none other than our own Mr. Trigg! +That our needle-sharp eyes, concentrated for an hour on her face, had +failed to detect the master who was so painfully familiar to us seemed +like a miracle. + +Mr. Trigg confessed that play-acting was one of the things he had done +before quitting his country; but it was only one of a dozen or twenty +vocations which he had taken up at various times, only to drop them +again as soon as he made the discovery that they one and all entailed +months and even years of hard work if he was ever to fulfil his +ambitious desire of doing and being something great in the world. As a +reader he certainly was great, and every evening, when the evenings +were long, he would give a two hours' reading to the household. +Dickens was then the most popular writer in the world, and he usually +read Dickens, to the delight of his listeners. Here he could display +his histrionic qualities to the full. He impersonated every character +in the book, endowing him with voice, gestures, manner, and expression +that fitted him perfectly. It was more like a play than a reading. + +"What should we do without Mr. Trigg?" our elders were accustomed to +say; but we little ones, remembering that it would not be the +beneficent countenance of Mr. Pickwick that would look on us in the +schoolroom on the following morning, only wished that Mr. Trigg was +far, far away. + +Perhaps they made too much of him: at all events he fell into the +habit of going away every Saturday morning and not returning until the +following Monday. His week-end visit was always to some English or +Scotch neighbour, a sheep-farmer, ten or fifteen or twenty miles +distant, where the bottle or demi-john of white Brazilian rum was +always on the table. It was the British exile's only substitute for +his dear lost whisky in that far country. At home there was only tea +and coffee to drink. From these outings he would return on Monday +morning, quite sober and almost too dignified in manner, but with +inflamed eyes and (in the schoolroom) the temper of a devil. On one of +these occasions, something--our stupidity perhaps, or an exceptionally +bad headache--tried him beyond endurance, and taking down his +_revenque_, or native horse-whip made of raw hide, from the wall, +he began laying about him with such extraordinary fury that the room +was quickly in an uproar. Then all at once my mother appeared on the +scene, and the tempest was stilled, though the master, with the whip +in his uplifted hand, still stood, glaring with rage at us. She stood +silent a moment or two, her face very white, then spoke: "Children, +you may go and play now. School is over;" then, lest the full purport +of her words should not be understood, she added, "Your schoolmaster +is going to leave us." + +It was an unspeakable relief, a joyful moment; yet on that very day, +and on the next before he rode away, I, even I who had been unjustly +and cruelly struck with a horsewhip, felt my little heart heavy in me +when I saw the change in his face--the dark, still, brooding look, and +knew that the thought of his fall and the loss of his home was +exceedingly bitter to him. Doubtless my mother noticed it, too, and +shed a few compassionate tears for the poor man, once more homeless on +the great plain. But he could not be kept after that insane outbreak. +To strike their children was to my parents a crime; it changed their +nature and degraded them, and Mr. Trigg could not be forgiven. + +Mr. Trigg, as I have said before, was a long time with us, and the +happy deliverance I have related did not occur until I was near the +end of my eighth year. At the present stage of my story I am not yet +six, and the incident related in the following chapter, in which Mr. +Trigg figures, occurred when I was within a couple of months of +completing my sixth year. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +DEATH OF AN OLD DOG + +The old dog Caesar--His powerful personality--Last days and end--The +old dog's burial--The fact of death is brought home to me--A child's +mental anguish--My mother comforts me--Limitations of the child's +mind--Fear of death--Witnessing the slaughter of cattle--A man in the +moat--Margarita, the nursery maid--Her beauty and lovableness--Her +death--I refuse to see her dead. + + + +When recalling the impressions and experiences of that most eventful +sixth year, the one incident which looks biggest in memory, at all +events in the last half of that year, is the death of Caesar. There is +nothing in the past I can remember so well: it was indeed the most +important event of my childhood--the first thing in a young life which +brought the eternal note of sadness in. + +It was in the early spring, about the middle of August, and I can even +remember that it was windy weather and bitterly cold for the time of +year, when the old dog was approaching his end. + +Caesar was an old valued dog, although of no superior breed: he was +just an ordinary dog of the country, short-haired, with long legs and +a blunt muzzle. The ordinary dog or native cur was about the size of a +Scotch collie; Caesar was quite a third larger, and it was said of him +that he was as much above all other dogs of the house, numbering about +twelve or fourteen, in intelligence and courage as in size. Naturally, +he was the leader and master of the whole pack, and when he got up +with an awful growl, baring his big teeth, and hurled himself on the +others to chastise them for quarrelling or any other infringement of +dog law, they took it lying down. He was a black dog, now in his old +age sprinkled with white hairs all over his body, the face and legs +having gone quite grey. Caesar in a rage, or on guard at night, or +when driving cattle in from the plains, was a terrible being; with us +children he was mild-tempered and patient, allowing us to ride on his +back, just like old Pechicho the sheep-dog, described in the first +chapter. Now, in his decline, he grew irritable and surly, and ceased +to be our playmate. The last two or three months of his life were very +sad, and when it troubled us to see him so gaunt, with his big ribs +protruding from his sides, to watch his twitchings when he dozed, +groaning and wheezing the while, and marked, too, how painfully he +struggled to get up on his feet, we wanted to know why it was so--why +we could not give him something to make him well? For answer they +would open his great mouth to show us his teeth--the big blunt canines +and old molars worn down to stumps. Old age was what ailed him--he was +thirteen years old, and that did verily seem to me a great age, for I +was not half that, yet it seemed to me that I had been a very, very +long time in the world. + +No one dreamed of such a thing as putting an end to him--no hint of +such a thing was ever spoken. It was not the custom in that country to +shoot an old dog because he was past work. I remember his last day, +and how often we came to look at him and tried to comfort him with +warm rugs and the offer of food and drink where he was lying in a +sheltered place, no longer able to stand up. And that night he died: +we knew it as soon as we were up in the morning. Then, after +breakfast, during which we had been very solemn and quiet, our +schoolmaster said: "We must bury him today--at twelve o'clock, when I +am free, will be the best time; the boys can come with me, and old +John can bring his spade." This announcement greatly excited us, for +we had never seen a dog buried, and had never even heard of such a +thing having ever been done. + +About noon that day old Caesar, dead and stiff, was taken by one of +the workmen to a green open spot among the old peach trees, where his +grave had already been dug. We followed our schoolmaster and watched +while the body was lowered and the red earth shovelled in. The grave +was deep, and Mr. Trigg assisted in filling it, puffing very much over +the task and stopping at intervals to mop his face with his coloured +cotton handkerchief. + +Then, when all was done, while we were still standing silently around, +it came into Mr. Trigg's mind to improve the occasion. Assuming his +schoolroom expression he looked round at us and said solemnly: "That's +the end. Every dog has his day and so has every man; and the end is +the same for both. We die like old Caesar, and are put into the ground +and have the earth shovelled over us." + +Now these simple, common words affected me more than any other words I +have heard in my life. They pierced me to the heart. I had heard +something terrible--too terrible to think of, incredible--and yet--and +yet if it was not so, why had he said it? Was it because he hated us, +just because we were children and he had to teach us our lessons, and +wanted to torture us? Alas! no, I could not believe that! Was this, +then, the horrible fate that awaited us all? I had heard of death--I +knew there was such a thing; I knew that all animals had to die, also +that some men died. For how could any one, even a child in its sixth +year, overlook such a fact, especially in the country of my birth--a +land of battle, murder, and sudden death? I had not forgotten the +young man tied to the post in the barn who had killed some one, and +would perhaps, I had been told, be killed himself as a punishment. I +knew, in fact, that there was good and evil in the world, good and bad +men, and the bad men--murderers, thieves, and liars--would all have to +die, just like animals; but that there was any life after death I did +not know. All the others, myself and my own people included, were good +and would never taste death. How it came about that I had got no +further in my system or philosophy of life I cannot say; I can only +suppose that my mother had not yet begun to give me instruction in +such matters on account of my tender years, or else that she had done +so and that I had understood it in my own way. Yet, as I discovered +later, she was a religious woman, and from infancy I had been taught +to kneel and say a little prayer each evening: "Now I lay me down to +sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep"; but who the Lord was or what +my soul was I had no idea. It was just a pretty little way of saying +in rhyme that I was going to bed. My world was a purely material one, +and a most wonderful world it was, but how I came to be in it I didn't +know; I only knew (or imagined) that I would be in it always, seeing +new and strange things every day, and never, never get tired of it. In +literature it is only in Vaughan, Traherne, and other mystics, that I +find any adequate expression of that perpetual rapturous delight in +nature and my own existence which I experienced at that period. + +And now these never-to-be-forgotten words spoken over the grave of our +old dog had come to awaken me from that beautiful dream of perpetual +joy! + +When I recall this event I am less astonished at my ignorance than at +the intensity of the feeling I experienced, the terrible darkness it +brought on so young a mind. The child's mind we think, and in fact +know, is like that of the lower animals; or if higher than the animal +mind, it is not so high as that of the simplest savage. He cannot +concentrate his thought--he cannot think at all; his consciousness is +in its dawn; he revels in colours, in odours, is thrilled by touch and +taste and sound, and is like a well-nourished pup or kitten at play on +a green turf in the sunshine. This being so, one would have thought +that the pain of the revelation I had received would have quickly +vanished--that the vivid impressions of external things would have +blotted it out and restored the harmony. But it was not so; the pain +continued and increased until it was no longer to be borne; then I +sought my mother, first watching until she was alone in her room. Yet +when with her I feared to speak lest with a word she should confirm +the dreadful tidings. Looking down, she all at once became alarmed at +the sight of my face, and began to question me. Then, struggling +against my tears, I told her of the words which had been spoken at the +old dog's burial, and asked her if it was true, if I--if she--if all +of us had to die and be buried in the ground? She replied that it was +not wholly true; it was only true in a way, since our bodies had to +die and be buried in the earth, but we had an immortal part which +could not die. It was true that old Caesar had been a good, faithful +dog, and felt and understood things almost like a human being, and +most persons believed that when a dog died he died wholly and had no +after-life. We could not know that; some very great, good men had +thought differently; they believed that the animals, like us, would +live again. That was also her belief--her strong hope; but we could +not know for certain, because it had been hidden from us. For +ourselves, we knew that we could not really die, because God Himself, +who made us and all things, had told us so, and His promise of eternal +life had been handed down to us in His Book--in the Bible. + +To all this and much more I listened trembling, with a fearful +interest, and when I had once grasped the idea that death when it came +to me, as it must, would leave me alive after all--that, as she +explained, the part of me that really mattered, the myself, the I am +I, which knew and considered things, would never perish, I experienced +a sudden immense relief. When I went out from her side again I wanted +to run and jump for joy and cleave the air like a bird. For I had been +in prison and had suffered torture, and was now free again--death +would not destroy me! + +There was another result of my having unburdened my heart to my +mother. She had been startled at the poignancy of the feeling I had +displayed, and, greatly blaming herself for having left me too long in +that ignorant state, began to give me religious instruction. It was +too early, since at that age it was not possible for me to rise to the +conception of an immaterial world. That power, I imagine, comes later +to the normal child at the age of ten or twelve. To tell him when he +is five or six or seven that God is in all places at once and sees all +things, only produces the idea of a wonderfully active and quick- +sighted person, with eyes like a bird's, able to see what is going on +all round. A short time ago I read an anecdote of a little girl who, +on being put to bed by her mother, was told not to be afraid in the +dark, since God would be there to watch and guard her while she slept. +Then, taking the candle, the mother went downstairs; but presently her +little girl came down too, in her nightdress, and, when questioned, +replied, "I'm going to stay down here in the light, mummy, and you can +go up to my room and sit with God." My own idea of God at that time +was no higher. I would lie awake thinking of him there in the room, +puzzling over the question as to how he could attend to all his +numerous affairs and spend so much time looking after me. Lying with +my eyes open, I could see nothing in the dark; still, I knew he was +there, because I had been told so, and this troubled me. But no sooner +would I close my eyes than his image would appear standing at a +distance of three or four feet from the head of the bed, in the form +of a column five feet high or so and about four feet in circumference. +The colour was blue, but varied in depth and intensity; on some nights +it was sky-blue, but usually of a deeper shade, a pure, soft, +beautiful blue like that of the morning-glory or wild geranium. + +It would not surprise me to find that many persons have some such +material image or presentment of the spiritual entities they are +taught to believe in at too tender an age. Recently, in comparing +childish memories with a friend, he told me that he too always saw God +as a blue object, but of no definite shape. + +That blue column haunted me at night for many months; I don't think it +quite vanished, ceasing to be anything but a memory, until I was +seven--a date far ahead of where we are now. + +To return to that second blissful revelation which came to me from my +mother. Happy as it made me to know that death would not put an end to +my existence, my state after the first joyful relief was not one of +perfect happiness. All she said to comfort and make me brave had +produced its effect--I knew now that death was but a change to an even +greater bliss than I could have in this life. How could I, not yet +six, think otherwise than as she had told me to think, or have a +doubt? A mother is more to her child than any other being, human or +divine, can ever be to him in his subsequent life. He is as dependent +on her as any fledgling in the nest on its parent--even more, since +she warms his callow mind or soul as well as body. + +Notwithstanding all this, the fear of death came back to me in a +little while, and for a long time disquieted me, especially when the +fact of death was brought sharply before me. These reminders were only +too frequent; there was seldom a day on which I did not see something +killed. When the killing was instantaneous, as when a bird was shot +and dropped dead like a stone, I was not disturbed; it was nothing but +a strange, exciting spectacle, but failed to bring the fact of death +home to me. It was chiefly when cattle were slaughtered that the +terror returned in its full force. And no wonder! The native manner of +killing a cow or bullock at that time was peculiarly painful. +Occasionally it would be slaughtered out of sight on the plain, and +the hide and flesh brought in by the men, but, as a rule, the beast +would be driven up close to the house to save trouble. One of the two +or three mounted men engaged in the operation would throw his lasso +over the horns, and, galloping off, pull the rope taut; a second man +would then drop from his horse, and running up to the animal behind, +pluck out his big knife and with two lightning-quick blows sever the +tendons of both hind legs. Instantly the beast would go down on his +haunches, and the same man, knife in hand, would flit round to its +front or side, and, watching his opportunity, presently thrust the +long blade into its throat just above the chest, driving it in to the +hilt and working it round; then when it was withdrawn a great torrent +of blood would pour out from the tortured beast, still standing on his +fore-legs, bellowing all the time with agony. At this point the +slaughterer would often leap lightly on to its back, stick his spurs +in its sides, and, using the flat of his long knife as a whip, pretend +to be riding a race, yelling with fiendish glee. The bellowing would +subside into deep, awful, sob-like sounds and chokings; then the +rider, seeing the animal about to collapse, would fling himself nimbly +off. The beast down, they would all run to it, and throwing themselves +on its quivering side as on a couch, begin making and lighting their +cigarettes. + +Slaughtering a cow was grand sport for them, and the more active and +dangerous the animal, the more prolonged the fight, the better they +liked it; they were as joyfully excited as at a fight with knives or +an ostrich hunt. To me it was an awful object-lesson, and held me +fascinated with horror. For this was death! The crimson torrents of +blood, the deep, human-like cries, made the beast appear like some +huge, powerful man caught in a snare by small, weak, but cunning +adversaries, who tortured him for their delight and mocked him in his +agony. + +There were other occurrences about that time to keep the thoughts and +fear of death alive. One day a traveller came to the gate, and, after +unsaddling his horse, went about sixty or seventy yards away to a +shady spot, where he sat down on the green slope of the foss to cool +himself. He had been riding many hours in a burning sun, and wanted +cooling. He attracted everybody's attention on his arrival by his +appearance: middle-aged, with good features and curly brown hair and +beard, but huge--one of the biggest men I had ever seen; his weight +could not have been under about seventeen stone. Sitting or reclining +on the grass, he fell asleep, and rolling down the slope fell with a +tremendous splash into the water, which was about six feet deep. So +loud was the splash that it was heard by some of the men at work in +the barn, and running out to ascertain the cause, they found out what +had happened. The man had gone under and did not rise; with a good +deal of trouble he was raised up and drawn with ropes to the top of +the bank. + +I gazed on him lying motionless, to all appearances stone dead--the +huge, ox-like man I had seen less than an hour ago, when he had +excited our wonder at his great size and strength, and now still in +death--dead as old Caesar under the ground with the grass growing over +him! Meanwhile the men who had hauled him out were busy with him, +turning him over and rubbing his body, and after about twelve or +fifteen minutes there was a gasp and signs of returning life, and by +and by he opened his eyes. The dead man was alive again; yet the shock +to me was just as great and the effect as lasting as if he had been +truly dead. + +Another instance which will bring me down to the end of my sixth year +and the conclusion of this sad chapter. At this time we had a girl in +the house, whose sweet face is one of a little group of half a dozen +which I remember most vividly. She was a niece of our shepherd's wife, +an Argentine woman married to an Englishman, and came to us to look +after the smaller children. She was nineteen years old, a pale, slim, +pretty girl, with large dark eyes and abundant black hair. Margarita +had the sweetest smile imaginable, the softest voice and gentlest +manner, and was so much loved by everybody in the house that she was +like one of the family. Unhappily she was consumptive, and after a few +months had to be sent back to her aunt. Their little place was only +half a mile or so from the house, and every day my mother visited her, +doing all that was possible with such skill and remedies as she +possessed to give her ease, and providing her with delicacies. The +girl did not want a priest to visit her and prepare her for death; she +worshipped her mistress, and wished to be of the same faith, and in +the end she died a pervert or convert, according to this or that +person's point of view. + +The day after her death we children were taken to see our beloved +Margarita for the last time; but when we arrived at the door, and the +others following my mother went in, I alone hung back. They came out +and tried to persuade me to enter, even to pull me in, and described +her appearance to excite my curiosity. She was lying all in white, +with her black hair combed out and loose, on her white bed, with our +flowers on her breast and at her sides, and looked very, very +beautiful. It was all in vain. To look on Margarita dead was more than +I could bear. I was told that only her body of clay was dead--the +beautiful body we had come to say good bye to; that her soul--she +herself, our loved Margarita--was alive and happy, far, far happier +than any person could ever be on this earth; that when her end was +near she had smiled very sweetly, and assured them that all fear of +death had left her--that God was taking her to Himself. Even this was +not enough to make me face the awful sight of Margarita dead; the very +thought of it was an intolerable weight on my heart; but it was not +grief that gave me this sensation, much as I grieved; it was solely my +fear of death. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE PLANTATION + +Living with trees--Winter violets--The house is made habitable--Red +willow--Scissor-tail and carrion-hawk--Lombardy poplars-Black acacia-- +Other trees--The foss or moat--Rats--A trial of strength with an +armadillo--Opossums living with a snake--Alfalfa field and butterflies +--Cane brake---Weeds and fennel--Peach trees in blossom--Paroquets-- +Singing of a field finch--Concert-singing in birds--Old John--Cow- +birds' singing--Arrival of summer migrants. + + + +I remember--better than any orchard, grove, or wood I have ever +entered or seen, do I remember that shady oasis of trees at my new +home on the illimitable grassy plain. Up till now I had never lived +with trees excepting those twenty-five I have told about and that +other one which was called _el arbol_ because it was the only tree of +its kind in all the land. Here there were hundreds, thousands of +trees, and to my childish unaccustomed eyes it was like a great +unexplored forest. There were no pines, firs, nor eucalyptus (unknown +in the country then), nor evergreens of any kind; the trees being all +deciduous were leafless now in mid-winter, but even so it was to me a +wonderful experience to be among them, to feel and smell their rough +moist bark stained green with moss, and to look up at the blue sky +through the network of interlacing twigs. And spring with foliage and +blossom would be with us by and by, in a month or two; even now in +midwinter there was a foretaste of it, and it came to us first as a +delicious fragrance in the air at one spot beside a row of old +Lombardy poplars--an odour that to the child is like wine that maketh +the heart glad to the adult. Here at the roots of the poplars there +was a bed or carpet of round leaves which we knew well, and putting +the clusters apart with our hands, lo! there were the violets already +open--the dim, purple-blue, hidden violets, the earliest, sweetest, of +all flowers the most loved by children in that land, and doubtless in +many other lands. + +There was more than time enough for us small children to feast on +violets and run wild in our forest; since for several weeks we were +encouraged to live out of doors as far away as we could keep from the +house where we were not wanted. For just then great alterations were +being made to render it habitable: new rooms were being added on to +the old building, wooden flooring laid over the old bricks and tiles, +and the half-rotten thatch, a haunt of rats and the home of centipedes +and of many other hybernating creeping things, was being stripped off +to be replaced by a clean healthy wooden roof. For me it was no +hardship to be sent away to make my playground in that wooded +wonderland. The trees, both fruit and shade, were of many kinds, and +belonged to two widely-separated periods. The first were the old trees +planted by some tree-loving owner a century or more before our time, +and the second the others which had been put in a generation or two +later to fill up some gaps and vacant places and for the sake of a +greater variety. + +The biggest of the old trees, which I shall describe first, was a red +willow growing by itself within forty yards of the house. This is a +native tree, and derives its specific name _rubra,_ as well as its +vernacular name, from the reddish colour of the rough bark. It grows +to a great size, like the black poplar, but has long narrow leaves +like those of the weeping willow. In summer I was never tired of +watching this tree, since high up in one of the branches, which in +those days seemed to me "so close against the sky," a scissor-tail +tyrant-bird always had its nest, and this high open exposed nest was a +constant attraction to the common brown carrion-hawk, called +_chimango_--a hawk with the carrion-crow's habit of perpetually +loitering about in search of eggs and fledglings. + +The scissor-tail is one of the most courageous of that hawk-hating, +violent-tempered tyrant-bird family, and every time a _chimango_ +appeared, which was about forty times a day, he would sally out to +attack him in mid-air with amazing fury. The marauder driven off, he +would return to the tree to utter his triumphant rattling castanet- +like notes and (no doubt) to receive the congratulations of his mate; +then to settle down again to watch the sky for the appearance of the +next _chimango_. + +A second red willow was the next largest tree in the plantation, but +of this willow I shall have more to say in a later chapter. + +The tall Lombardy poplars were the most numerous of the older trees, +and grew in double rows, forming walks or avenues, on three sides of +the entire enclosed ground. There was also a cross-row of poplars +dividing the gardens and buildings from the plantation, and these were +the favourite nesting-trees of two of our best-loved birds--the +beautiful little goldfinch or Argentine siskin, and the bird called +firewood-gatherer by the natives on account of the enormous collection +of sticks which formed the nest. + +Between the border poplar walk and the foss outside, there grew a +single row of trees of a very different kind--the black acacia, a rare +and singular tree, and of all our trees this one made the strongest +and sharpest impression on my mind as well as flesh, pricking its +image in me, so to speak. It had probably been planted originally by +the early first planter, and, I imagine, experimentally, as a possible +improvement on the wide-spreading disorderly aloe, a favourite with +the first settlers; but it is a wild lawless plant and had refused to +make a proper hedge. Some of these acacias had remained small and were +like old scraggy bushes, some were dwarfish trees, while others had +sprung up like the fabled bean-stalk and were as tall as the poplars +that grew side by side with them. These tall specimens had slender +boles and threw out their slender horizontal branches of great length +on all sides, from the roots to the crown, the branches and the bole +itself being armed with thorns two to four inches long, hard as iron, +black or chocolate-brown, polished and sharp as needles; and to make +itself more formidable every long thorn had two smaller thorns growing +out of it near the base, so that it was in shape like a round tapering +dagger with a crossguard to the handle. It was a terrible tree to +climb, yet, when a little older. I had to climb it a thousand times, +since there were certain birds which would make their nests in it, +often as high up as they could, and some of these were birds that laid +beautiful eggs, such as those of the Guira cuckoo, the size of +pullets' eggs, of the purest turquoise blue flecked with snowy white. + +Among our old or ancient trees the peach was the favourite of the +whole house on account of the fruit it gave us in February and March, +also later, in April and May, when what we called our winter peach +ripened. Peach, quince, and cherry were the three favourite fruit- +trees in the colonial times, and all three were found in some of the +quintas or orchards of the old estancia houses. We had a score of +quince trees, with thick gnarled trunks and old twisted branches like +rams' horns, but the peach trees numbered about four to five hundred +and grew well apart from one another, and were certainly the largest I +have ever seen. Their size was equal to that of the oldest and largest +cherry trees one sees in certain favoured spots in Southern England, +where they grow not in close formation but wide apart with ample room +for the branches to spread on all sides. + +The trees planted by a later generation, both shade and fruit, were +more varied. The most abundant was the mulberry, of which there were +many hundreds, mostly in rows, forming walks, and albeit of the same +species as our English mulberry they differed from it in the great +size and roughness of the leaves and in producing fruit of a much +smaller size. The taste of the fruit was also less luscious and it was +rarely eaten by our elders. We small children feasted on it, but it +was mostly for the birds. The mulberry was looked on as a shade, not a +fruit tree, and the other two most important shade trees, in number, +were the _acacia blanca,_ or false acacia, and the paradise tree or +pride of China. Besides these there was a row of eight or ten +ailanthus trees, or tree of heaven as it is sometimes called, with +tall white smooth trunk crowned with a cluster of palm-like foliage. +There was also a modern orchard, containing pear, apple, plum, and +cherry trees. + +The entire plantation, the buildings included, comprising an area of +eight or nine acres, was surrounded by an immense ditch or foss about +twelve feet deep and twenty to thirty feet wide. It was undoubtedly +very old and had grown in width owing to the crumbling away of the +earth at the sides. This in time would have filled and almost +obliterated it, but at intervals of two or three years, at a time when +it was dry, quantities of earth were dug up from the bottom and thrown +on the mound inside. It was in appearance something like a prehistoric +earthwork. In winter as a rule it became full of water and was a +favourite haunt, especially at night, of flocks of teal, also duck of +a few other kinds--widgeon, pintail, and shoveller. In summer it +gradually dried up, but a few pools of muddy water usually remained +through all the hot season and were haunted by the solitary or summer +snipe, one of the many species of sandpiper and birds of that family +which bred in the northern hemisphere and wintered with us when it was +our summer. Once the water had gone down in the moat, long grass and +herbage would spring up and flourish on its sloping sides, and the +rats and other small beasties would return and riddle it with +innumerable burrows. + +The rats were killed down from time to time with the "smoking +machine," which pumped the fumes of sulphur, bad tobacco, and other +deadly substances into their holes and suffocated them; and I recall +two curious incidents during these crusades. One day I was standing on +the mound at the side of the moat or foss some forty yards from where +the men were at work, when an armadillo bolted from his earth and +running to the very spot where I was standing began vigorously digging +to escape by burying himself in the soil. Neither men nor dogs had +seen him, and I at once determined to capture him unaided by any one +and imagined it would prove a very easy task. Accordingly I laid hold +of his black bone-cased tail with both hands and began tugging to get +him off the ground, bait couldn't move him. He went on digging +furiously, getting deeper and deeper into the earth, and I soon found +that instead of my pulling him out he was pulling me in after him. It +hurt my small-boy pride to think that an animal no bigger than a cat +was going to beat me in a trial of strength, and this made me hold on +more tenaciously than ever and tug and strain more violently, until +not to lose him I had to go flat down on the ground. But it was all +for nothing: first my hands, then my aching arms were carried down +into the earth, and I was forced to release my hold and get up to rid +myself of the mould he had been throwing up into my face and all over +my head, neck, and shoulders. + +In the other case, one of my older brothers seeing the dogs sniffing +and scratching at a large burrow, took a spade and dug a couple of +feet into the soil and found an adult black-and-white opossum with +eight or nine half-grown young lying together in a nest of dry grass, +and, wonderful to tell, a large venomous snake coiled up amongst them. +The snake was the dreaded _vivora de la cruz_, as the gauchos call it, +a pit-viper of the same family as the fer-de-lance, the bush-master, +and the rattlesnake. It was about three feet long, very thick in +proportion, and with broad head and blunt tail. It came forth hissing +and striking blindly right and left when the dogs pulled the opossums +out, but was killed with a blow of the spade without injuring the +dogs. + +This was the first _serpent with a cross_ I had seen, and the sight of +the thick blunt body of a greenish-grey colour blotched with dull +black, and the broad flat head with its stony-white lidless eyes, gave +me a thrill of horror. In after years I became familiar with it and +could even venture to pick it up without harm to myself, just as now +in England I pick up the less dangerous adder when I come upon one. +The wonder to us was that this extremely irascible and venomous +serpent should be living in a nest with a large family of opossums, +for it must be borne in mind that the opossum is a rapacious and an +exceedingly savage-tempered beast. + +This then was the world in which I moved and had my being, within the +limits of the old rat-haunted foss among the enchanted trees. But it +was not the trees only that made it so fascinating, it had open spaces +and other forms of vegetation which were exceedingly attractive too. + +There was a field of alfalfa about half an acre in size, which +flowered three times a year, and during the flowering time it drew the +butterflies from all the surrounding plain with its luscious bean-like +fragrance, until the field was full of them, red, black, yellow, and +white butterflies, fluttering in flocks round every blue spike. + +Canes, too, in a large patch or "brake" as we called it, grew at +another spot; a graceful plant about twenty-five feet high, in +appearance unlike the bamboo, as the long pointed leaves were of a +glaucous blue-green colour. The canes were valuable to us as they +served as fishing-rods when we were old enough for that sport, and +were also used as lances when we rode forth to engage in mimic battles +on the plain. But they also had an economic value, as they were used +by the natives when making their thatched roofs as a substitute for +the bamboo cane, which cost much more as it had to be imported from +other countries. Accordingly at the end of the summer, after the cane +had flowered, they were all cut down, stripped of their leaves, and +taken away in bundles, and we were then deprived till the following +season of the pleasure of hunting for the tallest and straightest +canes to cut them down and strip off leaves and bark to make beautiful +green polished rods for our sports. + +There were other open spaces covered with a vegetation almost as +interesting as the canes and the trees: this was where what were +called "weeds" were allowed to flourish. Here were the thorn-apple, +chenopodium, sow-thistle, wild mustard, redweed, viper's bugloss, and +others, both native and introduced, in dense thickets five or six feet +high. It was difficult to push one's way through these thickets, and +one was always in dread of treading on a snake. At another spot fennel +flourished by itself, as if it had some mysterious power, perhaps its +peculiar smell, of keeping other plants at a proper distance. It +formed quite a thicket, and grew to a height of ten or twelve feet. +This spot was a favourite haunt of mine, as it was in a waste place at +the furthest point from the house, a wild solitary spot where I could +spend long hours by myself watching the birds. But I also loved the +fennel for itself, its beautiful green feathery foliage and the smell +of it, also the taste, so that whenever I visited that secluded spot I +would rub the crushed leaves in my palms and chew the small twigs for +their peculiar fennel flavour. + +Winter made a great change in the plantation, since it not only +stripped the trees of their leaves but swept away all that rank +herbage, the fennel included, allowing the grass to grow again. The +large luxuriantly-growing annuals also disappeared from the garden and +all about the house, the big four-o'clock bushes with deep red stems +and wealth of crimson blossoms, and the morning-glory convolvulus with +its great blue trumpets, climbing over and covering every available +place with its hop-like mass of leaves and abundant blooms. My life in +the plantation in winter was a constant watching for spring. May, +June, and July were the leafless months, but not wholly songless. On +any genial and windless day of sunshine in winter a few swallows would +reappear, nobody could guess from where, to spend the bright hours +wheeling like house-martins about the house, revisiting their old +breeding-holes under the eaves, and uttering their lively little +rippling songs, as of water running in a pebbly stream. When the sun +declined they would vanish, to be seen no more until we had another +perfect spring-like day. + +On such days in July and on any mild misty morning, standing on the +mound within the moat I would listen to the sounds from the wide open +plain, and they were sounds of spring--the constant drumming and +rhythmic cries of the spur-wing lapwings engaged in their social +meetings and "dances," and the song of the pipit soaring high up and +pouring out its thick prolonged strains as it slowly floated downwards +to the earth. + +In August the peach blossomed. The great old trees standing wide apart +on their grassy carpet, barely touching each other with the tips of +their widest branches, were like great mound-shaped clouds of +exquisite rosy-pink blossoms. There was then nothing in the universe +which could compare in loveliness to that spectacle. I was a +worshipper of trees at this season, and I remember my shocked and +indignant feeling when one day a flock of green paroquets came +screaming down and alighted on one of the trees near me. This paroquet +never bred in our plantation; they were occasional visitors from their +home in an old grove about nine miles away, and their visits were +always a great pleasure to us. On this occasion I was particularly +glad, because the birds had elected to settle on a tree close to where +I was standing. But the blossoms thickly covering every twig annoyed +the parrots, as they could not find space enough to grasp a twig +without grasping its flower as well; so what did the birds do in their +impatience but begin stripping the blossoms off the branches on which +they were perched with their sharp beaks, so rapidly that the flowers +came down in a pink shower, and in this way in half a minute every +bird made a twig bare where he could sit perched at ease. There were +millions of blossoms; only one here and there would ever be a peach, +yet it vexed me to see the parrots cut them off in that heedless way: +it was a desecration, a crime even in a bird. + +Even now when I recall the sight of those old flowering peach trees, +with trunks as thick as a man's body, and the huge mounds or clouds of +myriads of roseate blossoms seen against the blue ethereal sky, I am +not sure that I have seen anything in my life more perfectly +beautiful. Yet this great beauty was but half the charm I found in +these trees: the other half was in the bird-music that issued from +them. It was the music of but one kind of bird, a small greenish +yellow field finch, in size like the linnet though with a longer and +slimmer body, and resembling a linnet too in its general habits. Thus, +in autumn it unites in immense flocks, which keep together during the +winter months and sing in concert and do not break up until the return +of the breeding season. In a country where there were no bird-catchers +or human persecutors of small birds, the flocks of this finch, called +_Misto_ by the natives, were far larger than any linnet flocks ever +seen in England. The flock we used to have about our plantation +numbered many thousands, and you would see them like a cloud wheeling +about in the air, then suddenly dropping and vanishing from sight in +the grass, where they fed on small seeds and tender leaves and buds. +On going to the spot they would rise with a loud humming sound of +innumerable wings, and begin rushing and whirling about again, chasing +each other in play and chirping, and presently all would drop to the +ground again. + +In August, when the spring begins to infect their blood, they repair +to the trees at intervals during the day, where they sit perched and +motionless for an hour or longer, all singing together. This singing +time was when the peach trees were in blossom, and it was invariably +in the peach trees they settled and could be seen, the little yellow +birds in thousands amid the millions of pink blossoms, pouring out +their wonderful music. + +One of the most delightful bird sounds or noises to be heard in +England is the concert-singing of a flock of several hundreds, and +sometimes of a thousand or more linnets in September and October, and +even later in the year, before these great congregations have been +broken up or have migrated. The effect produced by the small field +finch of the pampas was quite different. The linnet has a little +twittering song with breaks in it and small chirping sounds, and when +a great multitude of birds sing together the sound at a distance of +fifty or sixty yards is as of a high wind among the trees, but on a +nearer approach the mass of sound resolves itself into a tangle of +thousands of individual sounds, resembling that of a great concourse +of starlings at roosting time, but more musical in character. It is as +if hundreds of fairy minstrels were all playing on stringed and wind +instruments of various forms, every one intent on his own performance +without regard to the others. + +The field finch does not twitter or chirp and has no break or sudden +change in his song, which is composed of a series of long-drawn notes, +the first somewhat throaty but growing clearer and brighter towards +the end, so that when thousands sing together it is as if they sang in +perfect unison, the effect on the hearing being like that on the sight +of flowing water or of rain when the multitudinous falling drops +appear as silvery-grey lines on the vision. It is an exceedingly +beautiful effect, and so far as I know unique among birds that have +the habit of singing in large companies. + +I remember that we had a carpenter in those days, an Englishman named +John, a native of Cumberland, who used to make us laugh at his slow +heavy way when, after asking him some simple question, we had to wait +until he put down his tools and stared at us for about twenty seconds +before replying. One of my elder brothers had dubbed him the +"Cumberland boor." I remember one day on going to listen to the choir +of finches in the blossoming orchard, I was surprised to see John +standing near the trees doing nothing, and as I came up to him he +turned towards me with a look which astonished me on his dull old +face--that look which perhaps one of my readers has by chance seen on +the face of a religious mystic in a moment of exaltation. "Those +little birds! I never heard anything like it!" he exclaimed, then +trudged off to his work. Like most Englishmen, he had, no doubt, a +vein of poetic feeling hidden away somewhere in his soul. + +We also had the other kind of concert-singing by another species in +the plantation. This was the common purple cow-bird, one of the +Troupial family, exclusively American, but supposed to have affinities +with the starlings of the Old World. This cow-bird is parasitical +(like the European cuckoo) in its breeding habits, and having no +domestic affairs of its own to attend to it lives in flocks all the +year round, leading an idle vagabond life. The male is of a uniform +deep purple-black, the female a drab or mouse-colour. The cow-birds +were excessively numerous among the trees in summer, perpetually +hunting for nests in which to deposit their eggs: they fed on the +ground out on the plain and were often in such big flocks as to look +like a huge black carpet spread out on the green sward. On a rainy day +they did not feed: they congregated on the trees in thousands and sang +by the hour. Their favourite gathering-place at such times was behind +the house, where the trees grew pretty thick and were sheltered on two +sides by the black acacias and double rows of Lombardy poplars, +succeeded by double rows of large mulberry trees, forming walks, and +these by pear, apple and cherry trees. From whichever side the wind +blew it was calm here, and during the heaviest rain the birds would +sit here in their thousands, pouring out a continuous torrent of song, +which resembled the noise produced by thousands of starlings at +roosting-time, but was louder and differed somewhat in character owing +to the peculiar song of the cow-bird, which begins with hollow +guttural sounds, followed by a burst of loud clear ringing notes. + +These concert-singers, the little green and yellow field finch and the +purple cow-bird, were with us all the year round, with many others +which it would take a whole chapter to tell of. When, in July and +August, I watched for the coming spring, it was the migrants, the +birds that came annually to us from the far north, that chiefly +attracted me. Before their arrival the bloom was gone from the peach +trees, and the choir of countless little finches broken up and +scattered all over the plain. Then the opening leaves were watched, +and after the willows the first and best-loved were the poplars. +During all the time they were opening, when they were still a +yellowish-green in colour, the air was full of the fragrance, but not +satisfied with that I would crush and rub the new small leaves in my +hands and on my face to get the delicious balsamic smell in fuller +measure. And of all the trees, after the peach, the poplars appeared +to feel the new season with the greatest intensity, for it seemed to +me that they felt the sunshine even as I did, and they expressed it in +their fragrance just as the peach and other trees did in their +flowers. And it was also expressed in the new sound they gave out to +the wind. The change was really wonderful when the rows on rows of +immensely tall trees which for months had talked and cried in that +strange sibilant language, rising to shrieks when a gale was blowing, +now gave out a larger volume of sound, more continuous, softer, +deeper, and like the wash of the sea on a wide shore. + +The other trees would follow, and by and by all would be in full +foliage once more, and ready to receive their strange beautiful guests +from the tropical forests in the distant north. + +The most striking of the newcomers was the small scarlet tyrant-bird, +which is about the size of our spotted flycatcher; all a shining +scarlet except the black wings and tail. This bird had a delicate +bell-like voice, but it was the scarlet colour shining amid the green +foliage which made me delight in it above all other birds. Yet the +humming-bird, which arrived at the same time, was wonderfully +beautiful too, especially when he flew close to your face and remained +suspended motionless on mist-like wings for a few moments, his +feathers looking and glittering like minute emerald scales. + +Then came other tyrant-birds and the loved swallows--the house- +swallow, which resembles the English house-martin, the large purple +martin, the _Golodrina domestica_, and the brown tree-martin. Then, +too, came the yellow-billed cuckoo--the _kowe-kowe_ as it is called +from its cry. Year after year I listened for its deep mysterious call, +which sounded like _gow-gow-gow-gow-gow,_ in late September, even as +the small English boy listens for the call of _his_ cuckoo, in April; +and the human-like character of the sound, together with the +startlingly impressive way in which it was enunciated, always produced +the idea that it was something more than a mere bird call. Later, in +October when the weather was hot, I would hunt for the nest, a frail +platform made of a few sticks with four or five oval eggs like those +of the turtledove in size and of a pale green colour. + +There were other summer visitors, but I must not speak of them as this +chapter contains too much on that subject. My feathered friends were +so much to me that I am constantly tempted to make this sketch of my +first years a book about birds and little else. There remains, too, +much more to say about the plantation, the trees and their effect on +my mind, also some adventures I met with, some with birds and others +with snakes, which will occupy two or three or more chapters later on. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +ASPECTS OF THE PLAIN + +Appearance of a green level land--Cardoon and giant thistles--Villages +of the Vizcacha, a large burrowing rodent--Groves and plantations seen +like islands on the wide level plains--Trees planted by the early +colonists--Decline of the colonists from an agricultural to a pastoral +people--Houses as part of the landscape--Flesh diet of the gauchos-- +Summer change in the aspect of the plain--The water-like mirage--The +giant thistle and a "thistle year"--Fear of fires--An incident at a +fire--The _pampero_, or south-west wind, and the fall of the thistles +--Thistle-down and thistle-seed as food for animals--A great pampero +storm--Big hailstones--Damage caused by hail--Zango, an old horse, +killed--Zango and his master. + + + +As a small boy of six but well able to ride bare-backed at a fast +gallop without falling off, I invite the reader, mounted too, albeit +on nothing but an imaginary animal, to follow me a league or so from +the gate to some spot where the land rises to a couple or three or +four feet above the surrounding level. There, sitting on our horses, +we shall command a wider horizon than even the tallest man would have +standing on his own legs, and in this way get a better idea of the +district in which ten of the most impressionable years of my life, +from five to fifteen, were spent. + +We see all round us a flat land, its horizon a perfect ring of misty +blue colour where the crystal-blue dome of the sky rests on the level +green world. Green in late autumn, winter, and spring, or say from +April to November, but not all like a green lawn or field: there were +smooth areas where sheep had pastured, but the surface varied greatly +and was mostly more or less rough. In places the land as far as one +could see was covered with a dense growth of cardoon thistles, or wild +artichoke, of a bluish or grey-green colour, while in other places the +giant thistle flourished, a plant with big variegated green and white +leaves, and standing when in flower six to ten feet high. + +There were other breaks and roughnesses on that flat green expanse +caused by the _vizcachas,_ a big rodent the size of a hare, a mighty +burrower in the earth. _Vizcachas_ swarmed in all that district where +they have now practically been exterminated, and lived in villages, +called _vizcacheras,_ composed of thirty or forty huge burrows--about +the size of half a dozen badgers' earths grouped together. The earth +thrown out of these diggings formed a mound, and being bare of +vegetation it appeared in the landscape as a clay-coloured spot on the +green surface. Sitting on a horse one could count a score to fifty or +sixty of these mounds or _vizcacheras_ on the surrounding plain. + +On all this visible earth there were no fences, and no trees excepting +those which had been planted at the old estancia houses, and these +being far apart the groves and plantations looked like small islands +of trees, or mounds, blue in the distance, on the great plain or +pampa. They were mostly shade trees, the commonest being the Lombardy +poplar, which of all trees is the easiest one to grow in that land. +And these trees at the estancias or cattle-ranches were, at the time I +am writing about, almost invariably aged and in many instances in an +advanced state of decay. It is interesting to know how these old +groves and plantations ever came into existence in a land where at +that time there was practically no tree-planting. + +The first colonists who made their homes in this vast vacant space, +called the pampas, came from a land where the people are accustomed to +sit in the shade of trees, where corn and wine and oil are supposed to +be necessaries, and where there is salad in the garden. Naturally they +made gardens and planted trees, both for shade and fruit, wherever +they built themselves a house on the pampas, and no doubt for two or +three generations they tried to live as people live in Spain, in the +rural districts. But now the main business of their lives was cattle- +raising, and as the cattle roamed at will over the vast plains and +were more like wild than domestic animals, it was a life on horseback. +They could no longer dig or plough the earth or protect their crops +from insects and birds and their own animals. They gave up their oil +and wine and bread and lived on flesh alone. They sat in the shade and +ate the fruit of trees planted by their fathers or their great- +grandfathers until the trees died of old age, or were blown down or +killed by the cattle, and there was no more shade and fruit. + +It thus came about that the Spanish colonists on the pampas declined +from the state of an agricultural people to that of an exclusively +pastoral and hunting one; and later, when the Spanish yoke, as it was +called, was shaken off, the incessant throat-cutting wars of the +various factions, which were like the wars of "crows and pies," except +that knives were used instead of beaks, confirmed and sunk them deeper +in their wild and barbarous manner of life. + +Thus, too, the tree-clumps on the pampas were mostly remains of a +vanished past. To these clumps or plantations we shall return later on +when I come to describe the home life of some of our nearest +neighbours; here the houses only, with or without trees growing about +them, need be mentioned as parts of the landscape. The houses were +always low and scarcely visible at a distance of a mile and a half: +one always had to stoop on entering a door. They were built of burnt +or unburnt brick, more often clay and brushwood, and thatched with +sedges or bulrushes. At some of the better houses there would be a +small garden, a few yards of soil protected in some way from the +poultry and animals, in which a few flowers and herbs were grown, +especially parsley, rue, sage, tansy, and horehound. But there was no +other cultivation attempted, and no vegetables were eaten except +onions and garlic, which were bought at the stores, with bread, rice, +mate tea, oil, vinegar, raisins, cinnamon, pepper, cummin seed, and +whatever else they could afford to season their meat-pies or give a +flavour to the monotonous diet of cow's flesh and mutton and pig. +Almost the only game eaten was ostrich, armadillo, and tinamou (the +partridge of the country), which the boys could catch by snaring or +running them down. Wild duck, plover, and such birds they rarely or +never tasted, as they could not shoot; and as to the big rodent, the +vizcacha, which swarmed everywhere, no gaucho would touch its flesh, +although to my taste it was better than rabbit. + +The summer change in the aspect of the plain would begin in November: +the dead dry grass would take on a yellowish-brown colour, the giant +thistle a dark rust brown, and at this season, from November to +February, the grove or plantation at the estancia house, with its deep +fresh unchanging verdure and shade, was a veritable refuge on the vast +flat yellow earth. It was then, when the water-courses were gradually +drying up and the thirsty days coming to flocks and herds, that the +mocking illusion of the mirage was constantly about us. Quite early in +spring, on any warm cloudless day, this water-mirage was visible, and +was like the appearance on a hot summer's day of the atmosphere in +England when the air near the surface becomes visible, when one sees +it dancing before one's eyes, like thin wavering and ascending tongues +of flame--crystal-clear flames mixed with flames of a faint pearly or +silver grey. On the level and hotter pampas this appearance is +intensified, and the faintly visible wavering flames change to an +appearance of lakelets or sheets of water looking as if ruffled by the +wind and shining like molten silver in the sun. The resemblance to +water is increased when there are groves and buildings on the horizon, +which look like dark blue islands or banks in the distance, while the +cattle and horses feeding not far from the spectator appear to be +wading knee or belly deep in the brilliant water. + +The aspect of the plain was different in what was called a "thistle +year," when the giant thistles, which usually occupied definite areas +or grew in isolated patches, suddenly sprang up everywhere, and for a +season covered most of the land. In these luxuriant years the plants +grew as thick as sedges and bulrushes in their beds, and were taller +than usual, attaining a height of about ten feet. The wonder was to +see a plant which throws out leaves as large as those of the rhubarb, +with its stems so close together as to be almost touching. Standing +among the thistles in the growing season one could in a sense _hear_ +them growing, as the huge leaves freed themselves with a jerk from a +cramped position, producing a crackling sound. It was like the +crackling sound of the furze seed-vessels which one hears in June in +England, only much louder. + +To the gaucho who lives half his day on his horse and loves his +freedom as much as a wild bird, a thistle year was a hateful period of +restraint. His small, low-roofed, mud house was then too like a cage +to him, as the tall thistles hemmed it in and shut out the view on all +sides. On his horse he was compelled to keep to the narrow cattle +track and to draw in or draw up his legs to keep them from the long +pricking spines. In those distant primitive days the gaucho if a poor +man was usually shod with nothing but a pair of iron spurs. + +By the end of November the thistles would be dead, and their huge +hollow stalks as dry and light as the shaft of a bird's feather--a +feather-shaft twice as big round as a broomstick and six to eight feet +long. The roots were not only dead but turned to dust in the ground, +so that one could push a stalk from its place with one finger, but it +would not fall since it was held up by scores of other sticks all +round it, and these by hundreds more, and the hundreds by thousands +and millions. The thistle dead was just as great a nuisance as the +thistle living, and in this dead dry condition they would sometimes +stand all through December and January when the days were hottest and +the danger of fire was ever present to people's minds. At any moment a +careless spark from a cigarette might kindle a dangerous blaze. At +such times the sight of smoke in the distance would cause every man +who saw it to mount his horse and fly to the danger-spot, where an +attempt would be made to stop the fire by making a broad path in the +thistles some fifty to a hundred yards ahead of it. One way to make +the path was to lasso and kill a few sheep from the nearest flock and +drag them up and down at a gallop through the dense thistles until a +broad space was clear where the flames could be stamped and beaten out +with horse-rugs. But sheep to be used in this way were not always to +be found on the spot, and even when a broad space could be made, if a +hot north wind was blowing it would carry showers of sparks and +burning sticks to the other side and the fire would travel on. + +I remember going to one of these big fires when I was about twelve +years old. It broke out a few miles from home and was travelling in +our direction; I saw my father mount and dash off, but it took me half +an hour or more to catch a horse for myself, so that I arrived late on +the scene. A fresh fire had broken out a quarter of a mile in advance +of the main one, where most of the men were fighting the flames; and +to this spot I went first, and found some half a dozen neighbours who +had just arrived on the scene. Before we started operations about +twenty men from the main fire came galloping up to us. They had made +their path, but seeing this new fire so far ahead, had left it in +despair after an hour's hard hot work, and had flown to the new danger +spot. As they came up I looked in wonder at one who rode ahead, a tall +black man in his shirt sleeves who was a stranger to me. "Who is this +black fellow, I wonder?" said I to myself, and just then he shouted to +me in English, "Hullo, my boy, what are you doing here?" It was my +father; an hour's fighting with the flames in a cloud of black ashes +in that burning sun and wind had made him look like a pure-blooded +negro! + +During December and January when this desert world of thistles dead +and dry as tinder continued standing, a menace and danger, the one +desire and hope of every one was for the _pampero_--the south-west +wind, which in hot weather is apt to come with startling suddenness, +and to blow with extraordinary violence. And it would come at last, +usually in the afternoon of a close hot day, after the north wind had +been blowing persistently for days with a breath as from a furnace. At +last the hateful wind would drop and a strange gloom that was not from +any cloud would cover the sky; and by and by a cloud would rise, a +dull dark cloud as of a mountain becoming visible on the plain at an +enormous distance. In a little while it would cover half the sky, and +there would be thunder and lightning and a torrent of rain, and at the +same moment the wind would strike and roar in the bent-down trees and +shake the house. And in an hour or two it would perhaps be all over, +and next morning the detested thistles would be gone, or at all events +levelled to the ground. + +After such a storm the sense of relief to the horseman, now able to +mount and gallop forth in any direction over the wide plain and see +the earth once more spread out for miles before him, was like that of +a prisoner released from his cell, or of the sick man, when he at +length repairs his vigour lost and breathes and walks again. + +To this day it gives me a thrill, or perhaps it would be safer to say +the ghost of a vanished thrill, when I remember the relief it was in +my case, albeit I was never so tied to a horse, so parasitical, as the +gaucho, after one of these great thistle-levelling _pampero_ winds. It +was a rare pleasure to ride out and gallop my horse over wide brown +stretches of level land, to hear his hard hoofs crushing the hollow +desiccated stalks covering the earth in millions like the bones of a +countless host of perished foes. It was a queer kind of joy, a mixed +feeling with a dash of gratified revenge to give it a sharp savour. + +After all this abuse of the giant thistle, the _Cardo asnal_ of the +natives and _Carduus mariana_ of the botanists, it may sound odd to +say that a "thistle year" was a blessing in some ways. It was an +anxious year on account of the fear of fire, and a season of great +apprehension too when reports of robberies and other crimes were +abroad in the land, especially for the poor women who were left so +much alone in their low-roofed hovels, shut in by the dense prickly +growth. But a thistle year was called a fat year, since the animals-- +cattle, horses, sheep, and even pigs--browsed freely on the huge +leaves and soft sweetish-tasting stems, and were in excellent +condition. The only drawbacks were that the riding-horses lost +strength as they gained in fat, and cow's milk didn't taste nice. + +The best and fattest time would come when the hardening plant was no +longer fit to eat and the flowers began to shed their seed. Each +flower, in size like a small coffee-cup, would open out in a white +mass and shed its scores of silvery balls, and these when freed of +heavy seed would float aloft in the wind, and the whole air as far as +one could see would be filled with millions and myriads of floating +balls. The fallen seed was so abundant as to cover the ground under +the dead but still standing plants. It is a long, slender seed, about +the size of a grain of Carolina rice, of a greenish or bluish-grey +colour, spotted with black. The sheep feasted on it, using their +mobile and extensible upper lips like a crumb-brush to gather it into +their mouths. Horses gathered it in the same way, but the cattle were +out of it, either because they could not learn the trick, or because +their lips and tongues cannot be used to gather a crumb-like food. +Pigs, however, flourished on it, and to birds, domestic and wild, it +was even more than to the mammals. + +In conclusion of this chapter I will return for a page or two to the +subject of the _pampero_, the south-west wind of the Argentine pampas, +to describe the greatest of all the great _pampero_ storms I have +witnessed. This was when I was in my seventh year. + +The wind blowing from this quarter is not like the south-west wind of +the North Atlantic and Britain, a warm wind laden with moisture from +hot tropical seas--that great wind which Joseph Conrad in his _Mirror +of the Sea_ has personified in one of the sublimest passages in recent +literature. It is an excessively violent wind, as all mariners know +who have encountered it on the South Atlantic off the River Plate, but +it is cool and dry, although it frequently comes with great thunder- +clouds and torrents of rain and hail. The rain may last half-an-hour +to half-a-day, but when over the sky is without a vapour and a spell +of fine weather ensues. + +It was in sultry summer weather, and towards evening all of us boys +and girls went out for a ramble on the plain, and were about a quarter +of a mile from home when a blackness appeared in the south-west, and +began to cover the sky in that quarter so rapidly that, taking alarm, +we started homewards as fast as we could run. But the stupendous +slaty-black darkness, mixed with yellow clouds of dust, gained on us, +and before we got to the gate the terrified screams of wild birds +reached our ears, and glancing back we saw multitudes of gulls and +plover flying madly before the storm, trying to keep ahead of it. Then +a swarm of big dragon-flies came like a cloud over us, and was gone in +an instant, and just as we reached the gate the first big drops +splashed down in the form of liquid mud. We had hardly got indoors +before the tempest broke in its full fury, a blackness as of night, a +blended uproar of thunder and wind, blinding flashes of lightning, and +torrents of rain. Then as the first thick darkness began to pass away, +we saw that the air was white with falling hailstones of an +extraordinary size and appearance. They were big as fowls' eggs, but +not egg-shaped: they were flat, and about half-an-inch thick, and +being white, looked like little blocks or bricklets made of compressed +snow. The hail continued falling until the earth was white with them, +and in spite of their great size they were driven by the furious wind +into drifts two or three feet deep against the walls of the buildings. + +It was evening and growing dark when the storm ended, but the light +next morning revealed the damage we had suffered. Pumpkins, gourds, +and water-melons were cut to pieces, and most of the vegetables, +including the Indian corn, were destroyed. The fruit trees, too, had +suffered greatly. Forty or fifty sheep had been killed outright, and +hundreds more were so much hurt that for days they went limping about +or appeared stupefied from blows on the head. Three of our heifers +were dead, and one horse--an old loved riding-horse with a history, +old Zango--the whole house was in grief at his death! He belonged +originally to a cavalry officer who had an extraordinary affection for +him--a rare thing in a land where horseflesh was too cheap, and men as +a rule careless of their animals and even cruel. The officer had spent +years in the Banda Oriental, in guerilla warfare, and had ridden Zango +in every fight in which he had been engaged. Coming back to Buenos +Ayres he brought the old horse home with him. Two or three years later +he came to my father, whom he had come to know very well, and said he +had been ordered to the upper provinces and was in great trouble about +his horse. He was twenty years old, he said, and no longer fit to be +ridden in a fight; and of all the people he knew there was but one man +in whose care he wished to leave his horse. I know, he said, that if +you will take him and promise to care for him until his old life ends, +he will be safe; and I should be happy about him--as happy as I can be +without the horse I have loved more than any other being on earth. My +father consented, and had kept the old horse for over nine years when +he was killed by the hail. He was a well-shaped dark brown animal, +with long mane and tail, but, as I knew him, always lean and old- +looking, and the chief use he was put to was for the children to take +their first riding-lessons on his back. + +My parents had already experienced one great sadness on account of +Zango before his strange death. For years they had looked for a +letter, a message, from the absent officer, and had often pictured his +return and joy at finding alive still and embracing his beloved old +friend again. But he never returned, and no message came and no news +could be heard of him, and it was at last concluded that he had lost +his life in that distant part of the country, where there had been +much fighting. + +To return to the hailstones. The greatest destruction had fallen on +the wild birds. Before the storm immense numbers of golden plover had +appeared and were in large flocks on the plain. One of our native boys +rode in and offered to get a sackful of plover for the table, and +getting the sack he took me up on his horse behind him. A mile or so +from home we came upon scores of dead plover lying together where they +had been in close flocks, but my companion would not pick up a dead +bird. There were others running about with one wing broken, and these +he went after, leaving me to hold his horse, and catching them would +wring their necks and drop them in the sack. When he had collected two +or three dozen he remounted and we rode back. + +Later that morning we heard of one human being, a boy of six, in one +of our poor neighbours' houses, who had lost his life in a curious +way. He was standing in the middle of the room, gazing out at the +falling hail, when a hailstone, cutting through the thatched roof, +struck him on the head and killed him instantly. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +SOME BIRD ADVENTURES + +Visit to a river on the pampas--A first long walk--Waterfowl--My first +sight of flamingoes--A great dove visitation--Strange tameness of the +birds--Vain attempts at putting salt on their tails--An ethical +question: When is a lie not a lie?--The carancho, a vulture-eagle--Our +pair of caranchos--Their nest in a peach tree--I am ambitious to take +their eggs--The birds' crimes--I am driven off by the birds--The nest +pulled down. + + + +Just before my riding days began in real earnest, when I was not yet +quite confident enough to gallop off alone for miles to see the world +for myself, I had my first long walk on the plain. One of my elder +brothers invited me to accompany him to a water-course, one of the +slow-flowing shallow marshy rivers of the pampas which was but two +miles from home. The thought of the half-wild cattle we would meet +terrified me, but he was anxious for my company that day and assured +me that he could see no herd in that direction and he would be careful +to give a wide berth to anything with horns we might come upon. Then I +joyfully consented and we set out, three of us, to survey the wonders +of a great stream of running water, where bulrushes grew and large +wild birds, never seen by us at home, would be found. I had had a +glimpse of the river before, as, when driving to visit a neighbour, we +had crossed it at one of the fords and I had wished to get down and +run on its moist green low banks, and now that desire would be +gratified. It was for me a tremendously long walk, as we had to take +many a turn to avoid the patches of cardoon and giant thistles, and by +and by we came to low ground where the grass was almost waist-high and +full of flowers. It was all like an English meadow in June, when every +grass and every herb is in flower, beautiful and fragrant, but tiring +to a boy six years old to walk through. At last we came out to a +smooth grass turf, and in a little while were by the stream, which had +overflowed its banks owing to recent heavy rains and was now about +fifty yards wide. An astonishing number of birds were visible--chiefly +wild duck, a few swans, and many waders-ibises, herons, spoonbills, +and others, but the most wonderful of all were three immensely tall +white-and-rose-coloured birds, wading solemnly in a row a yard or so +apart from one another some twenty yards out from the bank. I was +amazed and enchanted at the sight, and my delight was intensified when +the leading bird stood still and, raising his head and long neck +aloft, opened and shook his wings. For the wings when open were of a +glorious crimson colour, and the bird was to me the most angel-like +creature on earth. + +What were these wonderful birds? I asked of my brothers, but they +could not tell me. They said they had never seen birds like them +before, and later I found that the flamingo was not known in our +neighbourhood as the water-courses were not large enough for it, but +that it could be seen in flocks at a lake less than a day's journey +from our home. + +It was not for several years that I had an opportunity of seeing the +bird again; later I have seen it scores and hundreds of times, at rest +or flying, at all times of the day and in all states of the +atmosphere, in all its most beautiful aspects, as when at sunset or in +the early morning it stands motionless in the still water with its +clear image reflected below; or when seen flying in flocks--seen from +some high bank beneath one--moving low over the blue water in a long +crimson line or half moon, the birds at equal distances apart, their +wing-tips all but touching; but the delight in these spectacles has +never equalled in degree that which I experienced on this occasion +when I was six years old. + +The next little bird adventure to be told exhibits me more in the +character of an innocent and exceedingly credulous baby of three than +of a field naturalist of six with a considerable experience of wild +birds. + +One spring day an immense number of doves appeared and settled in the +plantation. It was a species common in the country and bred in our +trees, and in fact in every grove or orchard in the land--a pretty +dove-coloured bird with a pretty sorrowful song, about a third less in +size than the domestic pigeon, and belongs to the American genus +_Zenaida._ This dove was a resident with us all the year round, but +occasionally in spring and autumn they were to be seen travelling +in immense flocks, and these were evidently strangers in the land and +came from some sub-tropical country in the north where they had no +fear of the human form. At all events, on going out into the +plantation I found them all about on the ground, diligently searching +for seeds, and so tame and heedless of my presence that I actually +attempted to capture them with my hands. But they wouldn't be caught: +the bird when I stooped and put out my hands slipped away, and flying +a yard or two would settle down in front of me and go on looking for +and picking up invisible seeds. + +My attempts failing I rushed back to the house, wildly excited, to +look for an old gentleman who lived with us and took an interest in me +and my passion for birds, and finding him I told him the whole place +was swarming with doves and they were perfectly tame but wouldn't let +me catch them--could he tell me how to catch them? He laughed and said +I must be a little fool not to know how to catch a bird. The only way +was to put salt on their tails. There would be no difficulty in doing +that, I thought, and how delighted I was to know that birds could be +caught so easily! Off I ran to the salt-barrel and filled my pockets +and hands with coarse salt used to make brine in which to dip the +hides; for I wanted to catch a great many doves--armfuls of doves. + +In a few minutes I was out again in the plantation, with doves in +hundreds moving over the ground all about me and taking no notice of +me. It was a joyful and exciting moment when I started operations, but +I soon found that when I tossed a handful of salt at the bird's tail +it never fell on its tail--it fell on the ground two or three or four +inches short of the tail. If, I thought, the bird would only keep +still a moment longer! But then it wouldn't, and I think I spent quite +two hours in these vain attempts to make the salt fall on the right +place. At last I went back to my mentor to confess that I had failed +and to ask for fresh instructions, but all he would say was that I was +on the right track, that the plan I had adopted was the proper one, +and all that was wanted was a little more practice to enable me to +drop the salt on the right spot. Thus encouraged I filled my pockets +again and started afresh, and then finding that by following the +proper plan I made no progress I adopted a new one, which was to take +a handful of salt and hurl it at the bird's tail. Still I couldn't +touch the tail; my violent action only frightened the bird and caused +it to fly away, a dozen yards or so, before dropping down again to +resume its seed-searching business. + +By-and-by I was told by somebody that birds could not be caught by +putting salt on their tails; that I was being made a fool of, and this +was a great shock to me, since I had been taught to believe that it +was wicked to tell a lie. Now for the first time I discovered that +there were lies and lies, or untruths that were not lies, which one +could tell innocently although they were invented and deliberately +told to deceive. This angered me at first, and I wanted to know how I +was to distinguish between real lies and lies that were not lies, and +the only answer I got was that I could distinguish them by not being +a fool! + +In the next adventure to be told we pass from the love (or tameness) +of the turtle to the rage of the vulture. It may be remarked in +passing that the vernacular name of the dove I have described is +_Torcasa,_ which I take it is a corruption of Tortola, the name first +given to it by the early colonists on account of its slight +resemblance to the turtle-dove of Europe. + +Then, as to the vulture, it was not a true vulture nor a strictly true +eagle, but a carrion-hawk, a bird the size of a small eagle, blackish +brown in colour with a white neck and breast suffused with brown and +spotted with black; also it had a very big eagle-shaped beak, and +claws not so strong as an eagle's nor so weak as a vulture's. In its +habits it was both eagle and vulture, as it fed on dead flesh, and was +also a hunter and killer of animals and birds, especially of the +weakly and young. A somewhat destructive creature to poultry and young +sucking lambs and pigs. Its feeding habits were, in fact, very like +those of the raven, and its voice, too, was raven-like, or rather like +that of the carrion-crow at his loudest and harshest. Considering the +character of this big rapacious bird, the _Polyborus tharus_ of +naturalists and the _carancho_ of the natives, it may seem strange +that a pair were allowed to nest and live for years in our plantation, +but in those days people were singularly tolerant not only of +injurious birds and beasts but even of beings of their own species +of predaceous habits. + +On the outskirts of our old peach orchard, described in a former +chapter, there was a solitary tree of a somewhat singular shape, +standing about forty yards from the others on the edge of a piece of +waste weedy land. It was a big old tree like the others, and had a +smooth round trunk standing about fourteen feet high and throwing out +branches all round, so that its upper part had the shape of an open +inverted umbrella. And in the convenient hollow formed by the circle +of branches the _caranchos_ had built their huge nest, composed of +sticks, lumps of turf, dry bones of sheep and other animals, pieces +of rope and raw hide, and any other object they could carry. The nest +was their home; they roosted in it by night and visited it at odd +times during the day, usually bringing a bleached bone or thistle- +stalk or some such object to add to the pile. + +Our birds never attacked the fowls, and were not offensive or +obtrusive, but kept to their own end of the plantation furthest away +from the buildings. They only came when an animal was killed for meat, +and would then hang about, keeping a sharp eye on the proceedings and +watching their chance. This would come when the carcass was dressed +and lights and other portions thrown to the dogs; then the _carancho_ +would swoop down like a kite, and snatching up the meat with his beak +would rise to a height of twenty or thirty yards in the air, and +dropping his prize would deftly catch it again in his claws and soar +away to feed on it at leisure. I was never tired of admiring this feat +of the _carancho_, which is, I believe, unique in birds of prey. + +The big nest in the old inverted-umbrella-shaped peach tree had a +great attraction for me; I used often to visit it and wonder if I +would ever have the power of getting up to it. Oh, what a delight it +would be to get up there, above the nest, and look down into the great +basin-like hollow lined with sheep's wool and see the eggs, bigger +than turkey's eggs, all marbled with deep red, or creamy white +splashed with blood-red! For I had seen _carancho_ eggs brought in by +a gaucho, and I was ambitious to take a clutch from a nest with my own +hands. It was true I had been told by my mother that if I wanted wild +birds' eggs I was never to take more than one from a nest, unless it +was of some injurious species. And injurious the _carancho_ certainly +was, in spite of his good behaviour when at home. On one of my early +rides on my pony I had seen a pair of them, and I think they were our +own birds, furiously attacking a weak and sickly ewe; she had refused +to lie down to be killed, and they were on her neck, beating and +tearing at her face and trying to pull her down. Also I had seen a +litter of little pigs a sow had brought forth on the plain attacked by +six or seven _caranchos_, and found on approaching the spot that they +had killed half of them (about six, I think), and were devouring them +at some distance from the old pig and the survivors of the litter. But +how could I climb the tree and get over the rim of the huge nest? And +I was afraid of the birds, they looked so unspeakably savage and +formidable whenever I went near them. But my desire to get the eggs +was over-mastering, and when it was spring and I had reason to think +that eggs were being laid, I went oftener than ever to watch and wait +for an opportunity. And one evening just after sunset I could not see +the birds anywhere about and thought my chance had now come. I managed +to swarm up the smooth trunk to the branches, and then with wildly +beating heart began the task of trying to get through the close +branches and to work my way over the huge rim of the nest. Just then I +heard the harsh grating cry of the bird, and peering through the +leaves in the direction it came from I caught sight of the two birds +flying furiously towards me, screaming again as they came nearer. Then +terror seized me, and down I went through the branches, and catching +hold of the lowest one managed to swing myself clear and dropped to +the ground. It was a good long drop, but I fell on a soft turf, and +springing to my feet fled to the shelter of the orchard and then on +towards the house, without ever looking back to see if they were +following. + +That was my only attempt to raid the nest, and from that time the +birds continued in peaceful possession of it, until it came into some +person's mind that this huge nest was detrimental to the tree, and was +the cause of its producing so little fruit compared with any other +tree, and the nest was accordingly pulled down, and the birds forsook +the place. + +In the description in a former chapter of our old peach trees in their +blossoming time I mentioned the paroquets which occasionally visited +us but had their breeding-place some distance away. This bird was one +of the two common parrots of the district, the other larger species +being the Patagonian parrot, _Conarus patagonus_, the _Loro +barranquero_ or Cliff Parrot of the natives. In my early years this +bird was common on the treeless pampas extending for hundreds of miles +south of Buenos Ayres as well as in Patagonia, and bred in holes it +excavated in cliffs and steep banks at the side of lakes and rivers. +These breeding-sites were far south of my home, and I did not visit +them until my boyhood's days were over. + +In winter these birds had a partial migration to the north: at that +season we were visited by flocks, and as a child it was a joy to me +when the resounding screams of the travelling parrots, heard in the +silence long before the birds became visible in the sky, announced +their approach. Then, when they appeared flying at a moderate height, +how strange and beautiful they looked, with long pointed wings and +long graduated tails, in their sombre green plumage touched with +yellow, blue, and crimson colour! How I longed for a nearer +acquaintance with these winter visitors and hoped they would settle on +our trees! Sometimes they did settle to rest, perhaps to spend half a +day or longer in the plantation; and sometimes, to my great happiness, +a flock would elect to remain with us for whole days and weeks, +feeding on the surrounding plain, coming at intervals to the trees +during the day, and at night to roost. I used to go out on my pony to +follow and watch the flock at feed, and wondered at their partiality +for the bitter-tasting seeds of the wild pumpkin. This plant, which +was abundant with us, produced an egg-shaped fruit about half the size +of an ostrich's egg, with a hard shell-like rind, but the birds with +their sharp iron-hard beaks would quickly break up the dry shell and +feast on the pips, scattering the seed-shells about till the ground +was whitened with them. When I approached the feeding flock on my pony +the birds would rise up and, flying to and at me, hover in a compact +crowd just above my head, almost deafening me with their angry +screams. + +The smaller bird, the paroquet, which was about the size of a turtle- +dove, had a uniform rich green colour above and ashy-grey beneath, +and, like most parrots, it nested in trees. It is one of the most +social birds I know; it lives all the year round in communities and +builds huge nests of sticks near together as in a rookery, each nest +having accommodation for two or three to half-a-dozen pairs. Each pair +has an entrance and nest cavity of its own in the big structure. + +The only breeding-place in our neighbourhood was in a grove or remains +of an ancient ruined plantation at an estancia house, about nine miles +from us, owned by an Englishman named Ramsdale. Here there was a +colony of about a couple of hundred birds, and the dozen or more trees +they had built on were laden with their great nests, each one +containing as much material as would have filled a cart. + +Mr. Ramsdale was not our nearest English neighbour--the one to be +described in another chapter; nor was he a man we cared much about, +and his meagre establishment was not attractive, as his old slatternly +native housekeeper and the other servants were allowed to do just what +they liked. But he was English and a neighbour, and my parents made it +a point of paying him an occasional visit, and I always managed to go +with them--certainly not to see Mr. Ramsdale, who had nothing to say +to a shy little boy and whose hard red face looked the face of a hard +drinker. _My_ visits were to the paroquets exclusively. Oh, why, +thought I many and many a time, did not these dear green people come +over to us and have their happy village in our trees! Yet when I +visited them they didn't like it; no sooner would I run out to the +grove where the nests were than the place would be in an uproar. Out +and up they would rush, to unite in a flock and hover shrieking over +my head, and the commotion would last until I left them. + +On our return late one afternoon in early spring from one of our rare +visits to Mr. Ramsdale, we witnessed a strange thing. The plain at +that place was covered with a dense growth of cardoon-thistle or wild +artichoke, and leaving the estancia house in our trap, we followed the +cattle tracks as there was no road on that side. About half-way home +we saw a troop of seven or eight deer in an open green space among the +big grey thistle-bushes, but instead of uttering their whistling +alarm-cry and making off at our approach they remained at the same +spot, although we passed within forty yards of them. The troop was +composed of two bucks engaged in a furious fight, and five or six does +walking round and round the two fighters. The bucks kept their heads +so low down that their noses were almost touching the ground, while +with their horns locked together they pushed violently, and from time +to time one would succeed in forcing the other ten or twenty feet +back. Then a pause, then another violent push, then with horns still +together they would move sideways, round and round, and so on until we +left them behind and lost sight of them. + +This spectacle greatly excited us at the time and was vividly recalled +several months afterwards when one of our gaucho neighbours told us of +a curious thing he had just seen. He had been out on that cardoon- +covered spot where we had seen the fighting deer, and at that very +spot in the little green space he had come upon the skeletons of two +deer with their horns interlocked. + +Tragedies of this kind in the wild animal world have often been +recorded, but they are exceedingly rare on the pampas, as the smooth +few-pronged antlers of the native deer, _corvus campestris_, are not +so liable to get hopelessly locked as in many other species. + +Deer were common in our district in those days, and were partial to +land overgrown with cardoon thistle, which in the absence of trees and +thickets afforded them some sort of cover. I seldom rode to that side +without getting a sight of a group of deer, often looking exceedingly +conspicuous in their bright fawn colour as they stood gazing at the +intruder amidst the wide waste of grey cardoon bushes. + +These rough plains were also the haunt of the rhea, our ostrich, and +it was here that I first had a close sight of this greatest and most +unbird-like bird of our continent. I was eight years old then, when +one afternoon in late summer I was just setting off for a ride on my +pony, when I was told to go out on the east side till I came to the +cardoon-covered land about a mile beyond the shepherd's ranch. The +shepherd was wanted in the plantation and could not go to the flock +just yet, and I was told to look for the flock and turn it towards +home. + +I found the flock just where I had been told to look for it, the sheep +very widely scattered, and some groups of a dozen or two to a hundred +were just visible at a distance among the rough bushes. Just where +these furthest sheep were grazing there was a scattered troop of +seventy or eighty horses grazing too, and when I rode to that spot I +all at once found myself among a lot of rheas, feeding too among the +sheep and horses. Their grey plumage being so much like the cardoon +bushes in colour had prevented me from seeing them before I was right +among them. + +The strange thing was that they paid not the slightest attention to +me, and pulling up my pony I sat staring in astonishment at them, +particularly at one, a very big one and nearest to me, engaged in +leisurely pecking at the clover plants growing among the big prickly +thistle leaves, and as it seemed carefully selecting the best sprays. + +What a great noble-looking bird it was and how beautiful in its loose +grey-and-white plumage, hanging like a picturesquely-worn mantle about +its body! Why were they so tame? I wondered. The sight of a mounted +gaucho, even at a great distance, will invariably set them off at +their topmost speed; yet here I was within a dozen yards of one of +them, with several others about me, all occupied in examining the +herbage and selecting the nicest-looking leaves to pluck, just as if I +was not there at all! I suppose it was because I was only a small boy +on a small horse and was not associated in the ostrich brain with the +wild-looking gaucho on his big animal charging upon him with a deadly +purpose. Presently I went straight at the one near me, and he then +raised his head and neck and moved carelessly away to a distance of a +few yards, then began cropping the clover once more. I rode at him +again, putting my pony to a trot, and when within two yards of him he +all at once swung his body round in a quaint way towards me, and +breaking into a sort of dancing trot brushed past me. + +Pulling up again and looking back I found he was ten or twelve yards +behind me, once more quietly engaged in cropping clover leaves! + +Again and again this bird, and one of the others I rode at, practised +the same pretty trick, first appearing perfectly unconcerned at my +presence and then, when I made a charge at them, with just one little +careless movement placing themselves a dozen yards behind me. + +But this same trick of the rhea is wonderful to see when the hunted +bird is spent with running and is finally overtaken by one of the +hunters who has perhaps lost the bolas with which he captures his +quarry, and who endeavours to place himself side by side with it so as +to reach it with his knife. It seems an easy thing to do: the bird is +plainly exhausted, panting, his wings hanging, as he lopes on, yet no +sooner is the man within striking distance than the sudden motion +comes into play, and the bird as by a miracle is now behind instead of +at the side of the horse. And before the horse going at top speed can +be reined in and turned round, the rhea has had time to recover his +wind and get a hundred yards away or more. It is on account of this +tricky instinct of the rhea that the gauchos say, "El avestruz es el +mas _gaucho_ de los animales," which means that the ostrich, in its +resourcefulness and the tricks it practises to save itself when +hard pressed, is as clever as the gaucho knows himself to be. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +MY FIRST VISIT TO BUENOS AYRES + +Happiest time--First visit to the Capital--Old and New Buenos Ayres-- +Vivid impressions--Solitary walk--How I learnt to go alone--Lost--The +house we stayed at and the sea-like river--Rough and narrow streets-- +Rows of posts--Carts and noise--A great church festival--Young men in +black and scarlet--River scenes--Washerwomen and their language--Their +word-fights with young fashionables--Night watchmen--A young +gentleman's pastime--A fishing dog--A fine gentleman seen stoning +little birds--A glimpse of Don Eusebio, the Dictator's fool. + + + +The happiest time of my boyhood was at that early period, a little +past the age of six, when I had my own pony to ride on, and was +allowed to stay on his back just as long and go as far from home as I +liked. I was like the young bird when on first quitting the nest it +suddenly becomes conscious of its power to fly. My early flying days +were, however, soon interrupted, when my mother took me on my first +visit to Buenos Ayres; that is to say, the first I remember, as I must +have been taken there once before as an infant in arms, since we lived +too far from town for any missionary-clergyman to travel all that +distance just to baptize a little baby. Buenos Ayres is now the +wealthiest, most populous, Europeanized city in South America: what it +was like at that time these glimpses into a far past will serve to +show. Coming as a small boy of an exceptionally impressionable mind, +from that green plain where people lived the simple pastoral life, +everything I saw in the city impressed me deeply, and the sights which +impressed me the most are as vivid in my mind to-day as they ever +were. I was a solitary little boy in my rambles about the streets, for +though I had a younger brother who was my only playmate, he was not +yet five, and too small to keep me company in my walks. Nor did I mind +having no one with me. Very, very early in my boyhood I had acquired +the habit of going about alone to amuse myself in my own way, and it +was only after years, when my age was about twelve, that my mother +told me how anxious this singularity in me used to make her. She would +miss me when looking out to see what the children were doing, and I +would be called and searched for, to be found hidden away somewhere in +the plantation. Then she began to keep an eye on me, and when I was +observed stealing off she would secretly follow and watch me, standing +motionless among the tall weeds or under the trees by the half-hour, +staring at vacancy. This distressed her very much; then to her great +relief and joy she discovered that I was there with a motive which she +could understand and appreciate: that I was watching some living +thing, an insect perhaps, but oftener a bird--a pair of little scarlet +flycatchers building a nest of lichen on a peach tree, or some such +beautiful thing. And as she loved all living things herself she was +quite satisfied that I was not going queer in my head, for that was +what she had been fearing. + +The strangeness of the streets was a little too much for me at the +start, and I remember that on first venturing out by myself a little +distance from home I got lost. In despair of ever finding my way back +I began to cry, hiding my face against a post at a street corner, and +was there soon surrounded by quite a number of passers-by; then a +policeman came up, with brass buttons on his blue coat and a sword at +his side, and taking me by the arm he asked me in a commanding voice +where I lived--the name of the street and the number of the house. I +couldn't tell him; then I began to get frightened on account of his +sword and big black moustache and loud rasping voice, and suddenly ran +away, and after running for about six or eight minutes found myself +back at home, to my surprise and joy. + +The house where we stayed with English friends was near the front, or +what was then the front, that part of the city which faced the Plata +river, a river which was like the sea, with no visible shore beyond; +and like the sea it was tidal, and differed only in its colour, which +was a muddy red instead of blue or green. The house was roomy, and +like most of the houses at that date had a large courtyard paved with +red tiles and planted with small lemon trees and flowering shrubs of +various kinds. The streets were straight and narrow, paved with round +boulder stones the size of a football, the pavements with brick or +flagstones, and so narrow they would hardly admit of more than two +persons walking abreast. Along the pavements on each side of the +street were rows of posts placed at a distance of ten yards apart. +These strange-looking rows of posts, which foreigners laughed to see, +were no doubt the remains of yet ruder times, when ropes of hide were +stretched along the side of the pavements to protect the foot- +passengers from runaway horses, wild cattle driven by wild men from +the plains, and other dangers of the narrow streets. As they were then +paved the streets must have been the noisiest in the world, on account +of the immense numbers of big springless carts in them. Imagine the +thunderous racket made by a long procession of these carts, when they +were returning empty, and the drivers, as was often the case, urged +their horses to a gallop, and they bumped and thundered over the big +round stones! + +Just opposite the house we stayed at there was a large church, one of +the largest of the numerous churches of the city, and one of my most +vivid memories relates to a great annual festival at the church--that +of the patron saint's day. It had been open to worshippers all day, +but the chief service was held about three o'clock in the afternoon; +at all events it was at that hour when a great attendance of +fashionable people took place. I watched them as they came in couples, +families and small groups, in every case the ladies, beautifully +dressed, attended by their cavaliers. At the door of the church the +gentleman would make his bow and withdraw to the street before the +building, where a sort of outdoor gathering was formed of all those +who had come as escorts to the ladies, and where they would remain +until the service was over. The crowd in the street grew and grew +until there were about four or five hundred gentlemen, mostly young, +in the gathering, all standing in small groups, conversing in an +animated way, so that the street was filled with the loud humming +sound of their blended voices. These men were all natives, all of the +good or upper class of the native society, and all dressed exactly +alike in the fashion of that time. It was their dress and the uniform +appearance of so large a number of persons, most of them with young, +handsome, animated faces, that fascinated me and kept me on the spot +gazing at them until the big bells began to thunder at the conclusion +of the service and the immense concourse of gaily-dressed ladies +swarmed out, and immediately the meeting broke up, the gentlemen +hurrying back to meet them. + +They all wore silk hats and the glossiest black broadcloth, not even a +pair of trousers of any other shade was seen; and all wore the scarlet +silk or fine cloth waistcoat which, at that period, was considered the +right thing for every citizen of the republic to wear; also, in lieu +of buttonhole, a scarlet ribbon pinned to the lapel of the coat. It +was a pretty sight, and the concourse reminded me of a flock of +military starlings, a black or dark-plumaged bird with a scarlet +breast, one of my feathered favourites. + +My rambles were almost always on the front, since I could walk there a +mile or two from home, north or south, without getting lost, always +with the vast expanse of water on one hand, with many big ships +looking dim in the distance, and numerous lighters or belanders coming +from them with cargoes of merchandise which they unloaded into carts, +these going out a quarter of a mile in the shallow water to meet them. +Then there were the water-carts going and coming in scores and +hundreds, for at that period there was no water supply to the houses, +and every house-holder had to buy muddy water by the bucket at his own +door from the watermen. + +One of the most attractive spots to me was the congregating place of +the _lavanderas_, south of my street. Here on the broad beach under +the cliff one saw a whiteness like a white cloud, covering the ground +for a space of about a third of a mile; and the cloud, as one drew +near, resolved itself into innumerable garments, sheets and quilts, +and other linen pieces, fluttering from long lines, and covering the +low rocks washed clean by the tide and the stretches of green turf +between. It was the spot where the washerwomen were allowed to wash +all the dirty linen of Buenos Ayres in public. All over the ground the +women, mostly negresses, were seen on their knees, beside the pools +among the rocks, furiously scrubbing and pounding away at their work, +and like all negresses they were exceedingly vociferous, and their +loud gabble, mingled with yells and shrieks of laughter, reminded me +of the hubbub made by a great concourse of gulls, ibises, godwits, +geese, and other noisy water-fowl on some marshy lake. It was a +wonderfully animated scene, and drew me to it again and again: I +found, however, that it was necessary to go warily among these women, +as they looked with suspicion at idling boys, and sometimes, when I +picked my way among the spread garments, I was sharply ordered off. +Then, too, they often quarrelled over their right to certain places +and spaces among themselves; then very suddenly their hilarious gabble +would change to wild cries of anger and torrents of abuse. By and by I +discovered that their greatest rages and worst language were when +certain young gentlemen of the upper classes visited the spot to amuse +themselves by baiting the _lavanderas_. The young gentleman would +saunter about in an absent-minded manner and presently walk right on +to a beautifully embroidered and belaced nightdress or other dainty +garment spread out to dry on the sward or rock, and, standing on it, +calmly proceed to take out and light a cigarette. Instantly the black +virago would be on her feet confronting him and pouring out a torrent +of her foulest expressions and deadliest curses. He, in a pretended +rage, would reply in even worse language. That would put her on her +mettle; for now all her friends and foes scattered about the ground +would suspend their work to listen with all their ears; and the +contest of words growing louder and fiercer would last until the +combatants were both exhausted and unable to invent any more new and +horrible expressions of opprobrium to hurl at each other. Then the +insulted young gentleman would kick the garment away in a fury and +hurling the unfinished cigarette in his adversary's face would walk +off with his nose in the air. + +I laugh to recall these unseemly word-battles on the beach, but they +were shocking to me when I first heard them as a small, innocent- +minded boy, and it only made the case worse when I was assured that +the young gentleman was only acting a part, that the extreme anger he +exhibited, which might have served as an excuse for using such +language, was all pretence. + +Another favourite pastime of these same idle, rich young gentlemen +offended me as much as the one I have related. The night-watchmen, +called _Serenos,_ of that time interested me in an extraordinary way. +When night came it appeared that the fierce policemen, with their +swords and brass buttons, were no longer needed to safeguard the +people, and their place in the streets was taken by a quaint, frowsy- +looking body of men, mostly old, some almost decrepit, wearing big +cloaks and carrying staffs and heavy iron lanterns with a tallow +candle alight inside. But what a pleasure it was to lie awake at night +and listen to their voices calling the hours! The calls began at the +stroke of eleven, and then from beneath the window would come the +wonderful long drawling call of _Las on--ce han da--do y se--re--no,_ +which means eleven of the clock and all serene, but if clouded the +concluding word would be _nu--bla--do,_ and so on, according to the +weather. From all the streets, from all over the town, the long-drawn +calls would float to my listening ears, with infinite variety in the +voices--the high and shrill, the falsetto, the harsh, raucous note +like the caw of the carrion crow, the solemn, booming bass, and then +some fine, rich, pure voice that soared heavenwards above all the +others and was like the pealing notes of an organ. + +I loved the poor night-watchmen and their cries, and it grieved my +little soft heart to hear that it was considered fine sport by the +rich young gentlemen to sally forth at night and do battle with them, +and to deprive them of their staffs and lanterns, which they took home +and kept as trophies. + +Another human phenomenon which annoyed and shocked my tender mind, +like that of the contests on the beach between young gentlemen and +washerwomen, was the multitude of beggars which infested the town. +These were not like our dignified beggar on horseback, with his red +poncho, spurs and tall straw hat, who rode to your gate, and having +received his tribute, blessed you and rode away to the next estancia. +These city beggars on the pavement were the most brutal, even +fiendish, looking men I had ever seen. Most of them were old soldiers, +who, having served their ten, fifteen, or twenty years, according to +the nature of the crime for which they had been condemned to the army, +had been discharged or thrown out to live like carrion-hawks on what +they could pick up. Twenty times a day at least you would hear the +iron gate opening from the courtyard into the street swung open, +followed by the call or shout of the beggar demanding charity in the +name of God. Outside you could not walk far without being confronted +by one of these men, who would boldly square himself in front of you +on the narrow pavement and beg for alms. If you had no change and +said, _"Perdon, por Dios,"_ he would scowl and let you pass; but if +you looked annoyed or disgusted, or ordered him out of the way, or +pushed by without a word, he would glare at you with a concentrated +rage which seemed to say, "Oh, to have you down at my mercy, bound +hand and foot, a sharp knife in my hand!" And this would be followed +by a blast of the most horrible language. + +One day I witnessed a very strange thing, the action of a dog, by the +waterside. It was evening and the beach was forsaken; cartmen, +fishermen, boatmen all gone, and I was the only idler left on the +rocks; but the tide was coming in, rolling quite big waves on to the +rocks, and the novel sight of the waves, the freshness, the joy of it, +kept me at that spot, standing on one of the outermost rocks not yet +washed over by the water. By and by a gentleman, followed by a big +dog, came down on to the beach and stood at a distance of forty or +fifty yards from me, while the dog bounded forward over the flat, +slippery rocks and through pools of water until he came to my side, +and sitting on the edge of the rock began gazing intently down at the +water. He was a big, shaggy, round-headed animal, with a greyish coat +with some patches of light reddish colour on it; what his breed was I +cannot say, but he looked somewhat like a sheep-dog or an otter-hound. +Suddenly he plunged in, quite disappearing from sight, but quickly +reappeared with a big shad of about three and a half or four pounds' +weight in his jaws. Climbing on to the rock he dropped the fish, which +he did not appear to have injured much, as it began floundering about +in an exceedingly lively manner. I was astonished and looked back at +the dog's master; but there he stood in the same place, smoking and +paying no attention to what his animal was doing. Again the dog +plunged in and brought out a second big fish and dropped it on the +flat rock, and again and again he dived, until there were five big +shads all floundering about on the wet rock and likely soon to be +washed back into the water. The shad is a common fish in the Plata and +the best to eat of all its fishes, resembling the salmon in its rich +flavour, and is eagerly watched for when it comes up from the sea by +the Buenos Ayres fishermen, just as our fishermen watch for mackerel +on our coasts. But on this evening the beach was deserted by every +one, watchers included, and the fish came and swarmed along the rocks, +and there was no one to catch them--not even some poor hungry idler to +pounce upon and carry off the five fishes the dog had captured. One by +one I saw them washed back into the water, and presently the dog, +hearing his master whistling to him, bounded away. + +For many years after this incident I failed to find any one who had +even seen or heard of a dog catching fish. Eventually, in reading I +met with an account of fishing-dogs in Newfoundland and other +countries. + +One other strange adventure met with on the front remains to be told. +It was about eleven o'clock in the morning and I was on the parade, +walking north, pausing from time to time to look over the sea-wall to +watch the flocks of small birds that came to feed on the beach below. +Presently my attention was drawn to a young man walking on before me, +pausing and peering too from time to time over the wall, and when he +did so throwing something at the small birds. I ran on and overtook +him, and was rather taken aback at his wonderfully fine appearance. He +was like one of the gentlemen of the gathering before the church, +described a few pages back, and wore a silk hat and fashionable black +coat and trousers and scarlet silk waistcoat; he was also a remarkably +handsome young gentleman, with a golden-brown curly beard and +moustache and dark liquid eyes that studied my face with a half-amused +curiosity when I looked up at him. In one hand he carried a +washleather bag by its handle, and holding a pebble in his right hand +he watched the birds, the small parties of crested song sparrows, +yellow house sparrows, siskins, field finches, and other kinds, and +from time to time he would hurl a pebble at the bird he had singled +out forty yards down below us on the rocks. I did not see him actually +hit a bird, but his precision was amazing, for almost invariably the +missile, thrown from such a distance at so minute an object, appeared +to graze the feathers and to miss killing by but a fraction of an +inch. + +I followed him for some distance, my wonder and curiosity growing +every minute to see such a superior-looking person engaged in such a +pastime. For it is a fact that the natives do not persecute small +birds. On the contrary, they despise the aliens in the land who shoot +and trap them. Besides, if he wanted small birds for any purpose, why +did he try to get them by throwing pebbles at them? As he did not +order me off, but looked in a kindly way at me every little while, +with a slight smile on his face, I at length ventured to tell him that +he would never get a bird that way--that it would be impossible at +that distance to hit one with a small pebble. "Oh, no, not +impossible," he returned, smiling and walking on, still with an eye +on the rocks. "Well, you haven't hit one yet," I was bold enough to +say, and at that he stopped, and putting his finger and thumb in his +waistcoat pocket he pulled out a dead male siskin and put it in my +hands. + +This was the bird called "goldfinch" by the English resident in La +Plata, and to the Spanish it is also goldfinch; it is, however, a +siskin, _Chrysomitris magellanica,_ and has a velvet-black head, the +rest of its plumage being black, green, and shining yellow. It was +one of my best-loved birds, but I had never had one in my hand, dead +or alive, before, and now its wonderful unimagined loveliness, its +graceful form, and the exquisitely pure flower-like yellow hue +affected me with a delight so keen that I could hardly keep from +tears. + +After gloating a few moments over it, touching it with my finger-tips +and opening the little black and gold wings, I looked up pleadingly +and begged him to let me keep it. He smiled and shook his head: he +would not waste his breath talking; all his energy was to be spent in +hurling pebbles at other lovely little birds. + +"Oh, senor, will you not give it to me?" I pleaded still; and then, +with sudden hope, "Are you going to sell it?" + +He laughed, and taking it from my hand put it back in his waistcoat +pocket; then, with a pleasant smile and a nod to say that the +interview was now over, he went on his way. + +Standing on the spot where he left me, and still bitterly regretting +that I had failed to get the bird, I watched him until he disappeared +from sight in the distance, walking towards the suburb of Palermo; and +a mystery he remains to this day, the one and only Argentine +gentleman, a citizen of the Athens of South America, amusing himself +by killing little birds with pebbles. But I do not know that it was an +amusement. He had perhaps in some wild moment made a vow to kill so +many siskins in that way, or a bet to prove his skill in throwing a +pebble; or he might have been practising a cure for some mysterious +deadly malady, prescribed by some wandering physician from Bagdad or +Ispaham; or, more probable still, some heartless, soulless woman he +was in love with had imposed this fantastical task on him. + +Perhaps the most wonderful thing I saw during that first eventful +visit to the capital was the famed Don Eusebio, the court jester or +fool of the President or Dictator Rosas, the "Nero of South America," +who lived in his palace at Palermo, just outside the city. I had been +sent with my sisters and little brother to spend the day at the house +of an Anglo-Argentine family in another part of the town, and we were +in the large courtyard playing with the children of the house when +some one opened a window above us and called out, "Don Eusebio!" That +conveyed nothing to me, but the little boys of the house knew what it +meant; it meant that if we went quickly out to the street we might +catch a glimpse of the great man in all his glory. At all events, they +jumped up, flinging their toys away, and rushed to the street door, +and we after them. Coming out we found quite a crowd of lookers-on, +and then down the street, in his general's dress--for it was one of +the Dictator's little jokes to make his fool a general--all scarlet, +with a big scarlet three-cornered hat surmounted by an immense +aigrette of scarlet plumes, came Don Eusebio. He marched along with +tremendous dignity, his sword at his side, and twelve soldiers, also +in scarlet, his bodyguard, walking six on each side of him with drawn +swords in their hands. + +We gazed with joyful excitement at this splendid spectacle, and it +made it all the more thrilling when one of the boys whispered in my +ear that if any person in the crowd laughed or made any insulting or +rude remark, he would be instantly cut to pieces by the guard. And +they looked truculent enough for anything. + +The great Rosas himself I did not see, but it was something to have +had this momentary sight of General Eusebio, his fool, on the eve of +his fall after a reign of over twenty years, during which he proved +himself one of the bloodiest as well as the most original-minded of +the Caudillos and Dictators, and altogether, perhaps, the greatest of +those who have climbed into power in this continent of republics and +revolutions. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE TYRANT'S FALL AND WHAT FOLLOWED + +The portraits in our drawing-room--The Dictator Rosas who was like an +Englishman--The strange face of his wife, Encarnacion--The traitor +Urquiza--The Minister of War, his peacocks, and his son--Home again +from the city--The War deprives us of our playmate--Natalia, our +shepherd's wife--Her son, Medardo--The Alcalde our grand old man-- +Battle of Monte Caseros--The defeated army--Demands for fresh horses-- +In peril--My father's shining defects--His pleasure in a thunder +storm--A childlike trust in his fellow-men--Soldiers turn upon their +officer--A refugee given up and murdered--Our Alcalde again--On +cutting throats--Ferocity and cynicism--Native blood-lust and its +effect on a boy's mind--Feeling about Rosas--A bird poem or tale--Vain +search for lost poem and story of its authorship--The Dictator's +daughter--Time, the old god. + + + +At the end of the last chapter, when describing my one sight of the +famous jester, Don Eusebio, in his glory, attended by a body-guard +with drawn swords who were ready to cut down any one of the spectators +who failed to remove his hat or laughed at the show, I said it was on +the eve of the fall of the President of the Republic, or Dictator, +"the Tyrant," as he was called by his adversaries when they didn't +call him the "Nero of South America" or the "Tiger of Palermo"--this +being the name of a park on the north side of Buenos Ayres where Rosas +lived in a white stuccoed house called his palace. + +At that time the portrait, in colours, of the great man occupied the +post of honour above the mantelpiece in our _sala_, or drawing-room-- +the picture of a man with fine clear-cut regular features, light +reddish-brown hair and side-whiskers, and blue eyes; he was sometimes +called "Englishman" on account of his regular features and blonde +complexion. That picture of a stern handsome face, with flags and +cannon and olive-branch--the arms of the republic--in its heavy gold +frame, was one of the principal ornaments of the room, and my father +was proud of it, since he was, for reasons to be stated by and by, a +great admirer of Rosas, an out-and-out Rosista, as the loyal ones were +called. This portrait was flanked by two others; one of Dona +Encarnacion, the wife, long dead, of Rosas; a handsome, proud-looking +young woman with a vast amount of black hair piled up on her head in a +fantastic fashion, surmounted by a large tortoiseshell comb. I +remember that as small children we used to look with a queer, almost +uncanny sort of feeling at this face under its pile of black hair, +because it was handsome but not sweet nor gentle, and because she was +dead and had died long ago; yet it was like the picture of one alive +when we looked at it, and those black unloving eyes gazed straight +back into ours. Why did those eyes, unless they moved, which they +didn't, always look back into ours no matter in what part of the room +we stood?--a perpetual puzzle to our childish uninformed brains. + +On the other side was the repellent, truculent countenance of the +Captain-General Urquiza, who was the Dictator's right-hand man, a +ferocious cut-throat if ever there was one, who had upheld his +authority for many years in the rebellious upper provinces, but who +had just now raised the standard of revolt against him and in a little +while, with the aid of a Brazilian army, would succeed in overthrowing +him. + +The central portrait inspired us with a kind of awe and reverential +feeling, since even as small children we were made to know that he was +the greatest man in the republic, that he had unlimited power over all +men's lives and fortunes and was terrible in his anger against evil- +doers, especially those who rebelled against his authority. + +Two more portraits of the famous men of the republic of that date +adorned the same wall. Next to Urquiza was General Oribe, commander of +the army sent by Rosas against Montevideo, which maintained the siege +of that city for the space of ten years. On the other side, next to +Dona Encarnacion, was the portrait of the Minister of War, a face +which had no attraction for us children, as it was not coloured like +that of the Dictator, nor had any romance or mystery in it like that +of his dead wife; yet it served to bring all these pictured people +into our actual world--to make us realize that they were the +counterfeit presentments of real men and women. For it happened that +this same Minister of War was in a way a neighbour of ours, as he +owned an estancia, which he sometimes visited, about three leagues +from us, on that part of the plain to the east of our place which I +have described in a former chapter as being covered with a dense +growth of the bluish-grey wild artichoke, the _cardo de Castilla_, as +it is called in the vernacular. Like most of the estancia houses of +that day it was a long low building of brick with thatched roof, +surrounded by an enclosed _quinta_, or plantation, with rows of +century-old Lombardy poplars conspicuous at a great distance, and many +old acacia, peach, quince, and cherry trees. It was a cattle and +horse-breeding establishment, but the beasts were of less account to +the owner than his peacocks, a fowl for which he had so great a +predilection that he could not have too many of them; he was always +buying more peacocks to send out to the estate, and they multiplied +until the whole place swarmed with them. And he wanted them all for +himself, so that it was forbidden to sell or give even an egg away. +The place was in the charge of a major-domo, a good-natured fellow, +and when he discovered that we liked peacocks' feathers for decorative +purposes in the house, he made it a custom to send us each year at the +moulting-time large bundles, whole armfuls, of feathers. + +Another curious thing in the estancia was a large room set apart for +the display of trophies sent from Buenos Ayres by the Minister's +eldest son. I have already given an account of a favourite pastime of +the young gentlemen of the capital--that of giving battle to the +night-watchmen and wresting their staffs and lanterns from them. Our +Minister's heir was a leader in this sport, and from time to time sent +consignments of his trophies to the country place, where the walls of +the room were covered with staffs and festoons of lanterns. + +Once or twice as a small boy I had the privilege of meeting this young +gentleman and looked at him with an intense curiosity which has served +to keep his image in my mind till now. His figure was slender and +graceful, his features good, and he had a rather long Spanish face; +his eyes were grey-blue, and his hair and moustache a reddish golden- +brown. It was a handsome face, but with a curiously repelling, +impatient, reckless, almost devilish expression. + +I was at home again, back in the plantation among my beloved birds, +glad to escape from the noisy dusty city into the sweet green +silences, with the great green plain glittering with the false water +of the mirage spreading around our shady oasis, and the fact that war, +which for the short period of my own little life and for many long +years before I was born, had not visited our province, thanks to Rosas +the Tyrant, the man of blood and iron, had now come to us did not make +the sunshine less sweet and pleasant to behold. Our elders, it is +true, showed anxious faces, but they were often anxious about matters +which did not affect us children, and therefore didn't matter. But by +and by even we little ones were made to realize that there was a +trouble in the land which touched us too, since it deprived us of the +companionship of the native boy who was our particular friend and +guardian during our early horseback rambles on the plain. This boy, +Medardo, or Dardo, was the fifteen-years-old son--illegitimate of +course--of the native woman our English shepherd had made his wife. +Why he had done so was a perpetual mystery and marvel to every one on +account of her person and temper. The very thought of this poor +Natalia, or Dona Nata as she was called, long dead and turned to dust +in that far pampa, troubles my spirit even now and gives me the +uncomfortable feeling that in putting her portrait on this paper I am +doing a mean thing. + +She was an excessively lean creature, careless, and even dirty in her +person, with slippers but no stockings on her feet, an old dirty gown +of a coarse blue cotton stuff and a large coloured cotton handkerchief +or piece of calico wound turban-wise about her head. She was of a +yellowish parchment colour, the skin tight-drawn over the small bony +aquiline features, and it would have seemed like the face of a corpse +or mummy but for the deeply-sunken jet-black eyes burning with a +troubled fire in their sockets. There was a tremor and strangely +pathetic note in her thin high-pitched voice, as of a woman speaking +with effort between half-suppressed sobs, or like the mournful cry of +some wild bird of the marshes. Voice and face were true indications of +her anxious mind. She was in a perpetual state of worry over some +trifling matter, and when a real trouble came, as when our flock "got +mixed" with a neighbour's flock and four or five thousand sheep had to +be parted, sheep by sheep, according to their ear-marks, or when her +husband came home drunk and tumbled off his horse at the door instead +of dismounting in the usual manner, she would be almost out of her +mind and wring her hands and shriek and cry out that such conduct +would not be endured by his long-suffering master, and they would no +longer have a roof over their heads! + +Poor anxious-minded Nata, who moved us both to pity and repulsion, it +was impossible not to admire her efforts to keep her stolid +inarticulate husband in the right path and her intense wild animal- +like love of her children--the three dirty-faced English-looking +offspring of her strange marriage, and Dardo, her firstborn, the son +of the wind. He, too, was an interesting person; small or short for +his years, he was thick and had a curiously solid mature appearance, +with a round head, wide open, startlingly bright eyes, and aquiline +features which gave him a resemblance to a sparrow-hawk. He was mature +in mind, too, and had all the horse lore of the seasoned gaucho, and +at the same time he was like a child in his love of fun and play, and +wanted nothing better than to serve us as a perpetual playmate. But he +had his work, which was to look after the flock when the shepherd's +services were required elsewhere; an easy task for him on his horse, +especially in summer when for long hours the sheep would stand +motionless on the plain. Dardo, who was teaching us to swim, would +then invite us to go to the river--to one of two streams within half +an hour's ride from home, where there were good bathing-pools! but +always before starting he would have to go and ask his mother's +consent. Mounting my pony I would follow him to the _puesto_ or +shepherd's ranche, only to be denied permission: "No, you are not to +go to-day: you must not think of such a thing. I forbid you to take +the boys to the river this day!" + +Then Dardo, turning his horse's head, would exclaim, "Oh, caram-bam- +bam-ba!" And she, seeing him going, would rush out after us, +shrieking, "Don't caram-bam-bam-ba me! You are not to go to the river +this day--I forbid it! I know if you go to the river this day there +will be a terrible calamity! Listen to me, Dardo, rebel, devil that +you are, you shall not go bathing to-day!" And the cries would +continue until, breaking into a gallop, we would quickly be out of +earshot. Then Dardo would say, "Now we'll go back to the house for the +others and go to the river. You see, she made me kneel before the +crucifix and promise never to take you to bathe without asking her +consent. And that's all I've got to do; I never promised to obey her +commands, so it's all right." + +These pleasant adventures with Dardo on the plain were suddenly put a +stop to by the war. One morning a number of persons on foot and on +horseback were seen coming to us over the green plain from the +shepherd's ranche, and as they drew nearer we recognized our old +Alcalde on his horse as the leader of the procession, and behind him +walked Dona Nata, holding her son by the hand; then followed others on +foot, and behind them all rode four old gauchos, the Alcalde's +henchmen, wearing their swords. + +What matter of tremendous importance had brought this crowd to our +house? The Alcalde, Don Amaro Avalos, was not only the representative +of the "authorities" in our parts--police officer, petty magistrate of +sorts, and several other things besides--but a grand old man in +himself, and he looms large in memory among the old gaucho patriarchs +in our neighbourhood. He was a big man, about six feet high, +exceedingly dignified in manner, his long hair and beard of a silvery +whiteness; he wore the gaucho costume with a great profusion of silver +ornaments, including ponderous silver spurs weighing about four +pounds, and heavy silver whip-handle. As a rule he rode on a big black +horse which admirably suited his figure and the scarlet colour and +silver of his costume. + +On arrival Don Amaro was conducted to the drawing-room, followed by +all the others; and when all were seated, including the four old +gauchos wearing swords, the Alcalde addressed my parents and informed +them of the object of the visit. He had received an imperative order +from his superiors, he said, to take at once and send to headquarters +twelve more young men as recruits for the army from his small section +of the district. Now most of the young men had already been taken, or +had disappeared from the neighbourhood in order to avoid service, and +to make up this last twelve he had even to take boys of the age of +this one, and Medardo would have to go. But this woman would not have +her boy taken, and after spending many words in trying to convince her +that she must submit he had at last, to satisfy her, consented to +accompany her to her master's house to discuss the matter again in her +master and mistress's presence. + +It was a long speech, pronounced with great dignity; then, almost +before it finished, the distracted mother jumped up and threw herself +on her knees before my parents, and in her wild tremulous voice began +crying to them, imploring them to have compassion on her and help her +to save her boy from such a dreadful destiny. What would he be, she +cried, a boy of his tender years dragged from his home, from his +mother's care, and thrown among a crowd of old hardened soldiers, and +of evil-minded men--murderers, robbers, and criminals of all +descriptions drawn from all the prisons of the land to serve in the +army! + +It was dreadful to see her on her knees wringing her hands, and to +listen to her wild lamentable cries; and again and again while the +matter was being discussed between the old Alcalde and my parents, she +would break out and plead with such passion and despair in her voice +and words, that all the people in the room were affected to tears. She +was like some wild animal trying to save her offspring from the +hunters. Never, exclaimed my mother, when the struggle was over, had +she passed so painful, so terrible, an hour! And the struggle had all +been in vain, and Dardo was taken from us. + +One morning, some weeks later, the dull roar from distant big guns +came to our ears, and we were told that a great battle was being +fought, that Rosas himself was at the head of his army--a poor little +force of 25,000 men got together in hot haste to oppose a mixed +Argentine and Brazilian force of about 40,000 men commanded by the +traitor Urquiza. During several hours of that anxious day the dull, +heavy sound of firing continued and was like distant thunder: then in +the evening came the tidings of the overthrow of the defending army, +and of the march of the enemy on Buenos Ayres city! On the following +day, from dawn to dark, we were in the midst of an incessant stream of +the defeated men, flying to the south, in small parties of two or +three to half a dozen men, with some larger bands, all in their +scarlet uniforms and armed with lances and carbines and broadswords, +many of the bands driving large numbers of horses before them. + +My father was warned by the neighbours that we were in great danger, +since these men were now lawless and would not hesitate to plunder and +kill in their retreat, and that all riding-horses would certainly be +seized by them. As a precaution he had the horses driven in and +concealed in the plantation, and that was all he would do. "Oh no," he +said, with a laugh, "they won't hurt us," and so we were all out and +about all day with the front gate and all doors and windows standing +open. From time to time a band on tired horses rode to the gate and, +without dismounting, shouted a demand for fresh horses. In every case +he went out and talked to them, always with a smiling, pleasant face, +and after assuring them that he had no horses for them they slowly and +reluctantly took their departure. + +About three o'clock in the afternoon, the hottest hour of the day, a +troop of ten men rode up at a gallop, raising a great cloud of dust, +and coming in at the gate drew rein before the verandah. My father as +usual went out to meet them, whereupon they demanded fresh horses in +loud menacing voices. + +Indoors we were all gathered in the large sitting-room, waiting the +upshot in a state of intense anxiety, for no preparations had been +made and no means of defence existed in the event of a sudden attack +on the house. We watched the proceedings from the interior, which was +too much in shadow for our dangerous visitors to see that they were +only women and children there and one man, a visitor, who had +withdrawn to the further end of the room and sat leaning back in an +easy chair, trembling and white as a corpse, with a naked sword in his +hand. He explained to us afterwards, when the danger was all over, +that fortunately he was an excellent swordsman, and that having found +the weapon in the room, he had resolved to give a good account of the +ten ruffians if they had made a rush to get in. + +My father replied to these men as he had done to the others, assuring +them that he had no horses to give them. Meanwhile we who were indoors +all noticed that one of the ten men was an officer, a beardless young +man of about twenty-one or two, with a singularly engaging face. He +took no part in the proceedings, but sat silent on his horse, watching +the others with a peculiar expression, half contemptuous and half +anxious, on his countenance. And he alone was unarmed, a circumstance +which struck us as very strange. The others were all old veterans, +middle-aged and oldish men with grizzled beards, all in scarlet jacket +and scarlet _chiripa_ and a scarlet cap of the quaint form then worn, +shaped like a boat turned upside down, with a horn-like peak in front, +and beneath the peak a brass plate on which was the number of the +regiment. + +The men appeared surprised at the refusal of horses, and stated +plainly that they would not accept it; at which my father shook his +head and smiled. One of the men then asked for water to quench his +thirst. Some one in the house then took out a large jug of cold water, +and my father taking it handed it up to the man; he drank, then passed +the jug on to the other thirsty ones, and after going its rounds the +jug was handed back and the demand for fresh horses renewed in +menacing tones. There was some water left in the jug, and my father +began pouring it out in a thin stream, making little circles and +figures on the dry dusty ground, then once more shook his head and +smiled very pleasantly on them. Then one of the men, fixing his eyes +on my father's face, bent forward and suddenly struck his hand +violently on the hilt of his broadsword and, rattling the weapon, half +drew it from its sheath. This nerve-trying experiment was a complete +failure, its only effect being to make my father smile up at the man +even more pleasantly than before, as if the little practical joke had +greatly amused him. + +The strange thing was that my father was not playing a part--that it +was his nature to act in just that way. It is a curious thing to say +of any person that his highest or most shining qualities were nothing +but defects, since, apart from these same singular qualities, he was +just an ordinary person with nothing to distinguish him from his +neighbours, excepting perhaps that he was not anxious to get rich and +was more neighbourly or more brotherly towards his fellows than most +men. The sense of danger, the instinct of self-preservation supposed +to be universal, was not in him, and there were occasions when this +extraordinary defect produced the keenest distress in my mother. In +hot summers we were subject to thunderstorms of an amazing violence, +and at such times, when thunder and lightning were nearest together +and most terrifying to everybody else, he would stand out of doors +gazing calmly up at the sky as if the blinding flashes and world- +shaking thunder-crashes had some soothing effect, like music, on his +mind. One day, just before noon, it was reported by one of the men +that the saddle-horses could not be found, and my father, with his +spy-glass in his hand, went out and ran up the wooden stairs to the +_mirador_ or look-out constructed at the top of the big barn-like +building used for storing wool. The _mirador_ was so high that +standing on it one was able to see even over the tops of the tall +plantation trees, and to protect the looker-out there was a high +wooden railing round it, and against this the tall flag-staff was +fastened. When my father went up to the look-out a terribly violent +thunderstorm was just bursting on us. The dazzling, almost continuous +lightning appeared to be not only in the black cloud over the house +but all round us, and crash quickly followed crash, making the doors +and windows rattle in their frames, while there high above us in the +very midst of the awful tumult stood my father calm as ever. Not +satisfied that he was high enough on the floor of the look-out he had +got up on the topmost rail, and standing on it, with his back against +the tall pole, he surveyed the open plain all round through his spy- +glass in search of the lost horses. I remember that indoors my mother +with white terror-stricken face stood gazing out at him, and that the +whole house was in a state of terror, expecting every moment to see +him struck by lightning and hurled down to the earth below. + +A second and in its results a more disastrous shining quality was a +childlike trust in the absolute good faith of every person with whom +he came into business relations. Things being what they are this +inevitably led to his ruin. + +To return to our unwelcome visitors. On this occasion my father's +perfectly cool smiling demeanour, resulting from his foolhardiness, +served him and the house well: it deceived them, for they could not +believe that he would have acted in that way if they had not been +watched by men with rifles in their hands from the interior who would +open fire on the least hostile movement on their part. + +Suddenly the scowling spokesman of the troop, with a shouted "Vamos!" +turned his horse's head and, followed by all the others, rode out and +broke into a gallop. We too then hurried out, and from the screen of +poplar and black acacia trees growing at the side of the moat, watched +their movements, and saw, when they had got away a few hundred yards +from the gate, the young unarmed officer break away from them and +start off at the greatest speed he could get out of his horse. The +others quickly gave chase and at length disappeared from sight in the +direction of the Alcalde's or local petty magistrate's house, about a +mile and a half away. It was a long low thatched ranch without trees, +and could not be seen from our house as it stood behind a marshy lake +overgrown with all bulrushes. + +While we were straining our eyes to see the result of the chase, and +after the hunted man and his pursuers had vanished from sight among +the herds of cattle and horses grazing on the plain, the tragedy was +being carried out in exceedingly painful circumstances. The young +officer, whose home was more than a day's journey from our district, +had visited the neighbourhood on a former occasion and remembered that +he had relations in it; and when he broke away from the men, divining +that it was their intention to murder him, he made for the old +Alcalde's house. He succeeded in keeping ahead of his pursuers until +he arrived at the gate, and throwing himself from his horse and +rushing into the house, and finding the old Alcalde surrounded by the +women of the house, addressed him as uncle and claimed his protection. +The Alcalde was not, strictly speaking, his uncle but was his mother's +first cousin. It was an awful moment: the nine armed ruffians were +already standing outside, shouting to the owner of the place to give +them up their prisoner, and threatening to burn down the house and +kill all the inmates if he refused. The old Alcalde stood in the +middle of the room, surrounded by a crowd of women and children, his +own two handsome daughters, aged about twenty and twenty-two +respectively, among them, fainting with terror and crying for him to +save them, while the young officer on his knees implored him for the +sake of his mother's memory, and of the Mother of God and of all he +held sacred, to refuse to give him up to be slaughtered. + +The old man was not equal to the situation: he trembled and sobbed +with anguish, and at last faltered out that he could not protect him-- +that he must save his own daughters and the wives and children of his +neighbours who had sought refuge in his house. The men outside, +hearing how the argument was going, came to the door, and finally +seizing the young man by the arm led him out and made him mount his +horse again and ride with them. They rode back the way they had gone +for half a mile towards our house, then pulled him off his horse and +cut his throat. + +On the following day a mulatto boy who looked after the flock and went +on errands for the Alcalde, came to me and said that if I would mount +my pony and go with him he would show me something. It was not seldom +this same little fellow came to me to offer to show me something, and +it usually turned out to be a bird's nest, an object which keenly +interested us both. I gladly mounted my pony and followed. The broken +army had ceased passing our way by now, and it was peaceful and safe +once more on the great plain. We rode about a mile, and he then pulled +up his horse and pointed to the turf at our feet, where I saw a great +stain of blood on the short dry grass. Here, he told me, was where +they had cut the young officer's throat: the body had been taken by +the Alcalde to his house, where it had been lying since the evening +before, and it would be taken for burial next day to our nearest +village, about eight miles distant. + +The murder was the talk of the place for some days, chiefly on account +of the painful facts of the case--that the old Alcalde, who was +respected and even loved by every one, should have failed in so +pitiful a way to make any attempt at saving his young relation. But +the mere fact that the soldiers had cut the throat of their officer +surprised no one; it was a common thing in the case of a defeat in +those days for the men to turn upon and murder their officers. Nor was +throat-cutting a mere custom or convention: to the old soldier it was +the only satisfactory way of finishing off your adversary, or prisoner +of war, or your officer who had been your tyrant, on the day of +defeat. Their feeling was similar to that of the man who is inspired +by the hunting instinct in its primitive form, as described by Richard +Jefferies. To kill the creatures with bullets at a distance was no +satisfaction to him: he must with his own hands drive the shaft into +the quivering flesh--he must feel its quivering and see the blood gush +up beneath his hand. One smiles at a vision of the gentle Richard +Jefferies slaughtering wild cattle in the palaeolithic way, but that +feeling and desire which he describes with such passion in his _Story +of My Heart_, that survival of the past, is not uncommon in the hearts +of hunters, and if we were ever to drop out of our civilization I +fancy we should return rather joyfully to the primitive method. And so +in those dark times in the Argentine Republic when, during half a +century of civil strife which followed on casting off the Spanish +"yoke," as it was called, the people of the plains had developed an +amazing ferocity, they loved to kill a man not with a bullet but in a +manner to make them know and feel that they were really and truly +killing. + +As a child those dreadful deeds did not impress me, since I did not +witness them myself, and after looking at that stain of blood on the +grass the subject faded out of my mind. But as time went on and I +heard more about this painful subject I began to realize what it +meant. The full horror of it came only a few years later, when I was +big enough to go about to the native houses and among the gauchos in +their gatherings, at cattle-partings and brandings, races, and on +other occasions. I listened to the conversation of groups of men whose +lives had been mostly spent in the army, as a rule in guerilla +warfare, and the talk turned with surprising frequency to the subject +of cutting throats. Not to waste powder on prisoners was an unwritten +law of the Argentine army at that period, and the veteran gaucho +clever with the knife took delight in obeying it. It always came as a +relief, I heard them say, to have as victim a young man with a good +neck after an experience of tough, scraggy old throats: with a person +of that sort they were in no hurry to finish the business; it was +performed in a leisurely, loving way. Darwin, writing in praise of the +gaucho in his _Voyage of a Naturalist_, says that if a gaucho cuts +your throat he does it like a gentleman: even as a small boy I knew +better--that he did his business rather like a hellish creature +revelling in his cruelty. He would listen to all his captive could say +to soften his heart--all his heartrending prayers and pleadings; and +would reply: "Ah, friend,"--or little friend, or brother--"your words +pierce me to the heart and I would gladly spare you for the sake of +that poor mother of yours who fed you with her milk, and for your own +sake too, since in this short time I have conceived a great friendship +towards you; but your beautiful neck is your undoing, for how could I +possibly deny myself the pleasure of cutting such a throat--so +shapely, so smooth and soft and so white! Think of the sight of warm +red blood gushing from that white column!" And so on, with wavings of +the steel blade before the captive's eyes, until the end. + +When I heard them relate such things--and I am quoting their very +words, remembered all these years only too well--laughingly, gloating +over such memories, such a loathing and hatred possessed me that ever +afterwards the very sight of these men was enough to produce a +sensation of nausea, just as when in the dog days one inadvertently +rides too near the putrid carcass of some large beast on the plain. + +As I have said, all this feeling about throat-cutting and the power to +realize and visualize it, came to me by degrees long after the sight +of a blood-stain on the turf near our home; and in like manner the +significance of the tyrant's fall and the mighty changes it brought +about in the land only came to me long after the event. People were in +perpetual conflict about the character of the great man. He was +abhorred by many, perhaps by most; others were on his side even for +years after he had vanished from their ken, and among these were most +of the English residents of the country, my father among them. Quite +naturally I followed my father and came to believe that all the +bloodshed during a quarter of a century, all the crimes and cruelties +practised by Rosas, were not like the crimes committed by a private +person, but were all for the good of the country, with the result that +in Buenos Ayres and throughout our province there had been a long +period of peace and prosperity, and that all this ended with his fall +and was succeeded by years of fresh revolutionary outbreaks and +bloodshed and anarchy. Another thing about Rosas which made me ready +to fall in with my father's high opinion of him was the number of +stories about him which appealed to my childish imagination. Many of +these related to his adventures when he would disguise himself as a +person of humble status and prowl about the city by night, especially +in the squalid quarters, where he would make the acquaintance of the +very poor in their hovels. Most of these stories were probably +inventions and need not be told here; but there was one which I must +say something about because it is a bird story and greatly excited my +boyish interest. + +I was often asked by our gaucho neighbours when I talked with them +about birds--and they all knew that that subject interested me above +all others--if I had ever heard _el canto_, or _el cuento del Bien-te- +veo_. That is to say, the ballad or tale of the _Bien-te-veo_--a +species of tyrant-bird quite common in the country, with a brown back +and sulphur-yellow under parts, a crest on its head, and face barred +with black and white. It is a little larger than our butcher-bird and, +like it, is partly rapacious in its habits. The barred face and long +kingfisher-like beak give it a peculiarly knowing or cunning look, and +the effect is heightened by the long trisyllabic call constantly +uttered by the bird, from which it derives its name of Bien-te-veo, +which means I-can-see-you. He is always letting you know that he is +there, that he has got his eye on you, so that you had better be +careful about your actions. + +The Bien-te-veo, I need hardly say, was one of my feathered +favourites, and I begged my gaucho friends to tell me this _cuento_, +but although I met scores of men who had heard it, not one remembered +it: they could only say that it was very long--very few persons could +remember such a long story; and I further gathered that it was a sort +of history of the bird's life and his adventures among the other +birds; that the Bien-te-veo was always doing clever naughty things and +getting into trouble, but invariably escaping the penalty. From all I +could hear it was a tale of the Reynard the Fox order, or like the +tales told by the gauchos of the armadillo and how that quaint little +beast always managed to fool his fellow-animals, especially the fox, +who regarded himself as the cleverest of all the beasts and who looked +on his honest, dull-witted neighbour the armadillo as a born fool. Old +gauchos used to tell me that twenty or more years ago one often met +with a reciter of ballads who could relate the whole story of the +Bien-te-veo. Good reciters were common enough in my time: at dances it +was always possible to find one or two to amuse the company with long +poems and ballads in the intervals of dancing, and first and last I +questioned many who had this talent, but failed to find one who knew +the famous bird-ballad, and in the end I gave up the quest. + +The story invariably told was that a man convicted of some serious +crime and condemned to suffer the last penalty, and left, as the +custom then was, for long months in the gaol in Buenos Ayres, amused +himself by composing the story of the Bien-te-veo, and thinking well +of it he made a present of the manuscript to the gaoler in +acknowledgment of some kindness he had received from that person. The +condemned man had no money and no friends to interest themselves on +his behalf; but it was not the custom at that time to execute a +criminal as soon as he was condemned. The prison authorities preferred +to wait until there were a dozen or so to execute; these would then be +taken out, ranged against a wall of the prison, opposite a file of +soldiers with muskets in their hands, and shot, the soldiers after the +first discharge reloading their weapons and going up to the fallen men +to finish off those who were still kicking. This was the prospect our +prisoner had to look forward to. Meanwhile his ballad was being +circulated and read with immense delight by various persons in +authority, and one of these who was privileged to approach the +Dictator, thinking it would afford him a little amusement, took the +ballad and read it to him. Rosas was so pleased with it that he +pardoned the condemned man and ordered his liberation. + +All this, I conjectured, must have happened at least twenty years +before I was born. I also concluded that the ballad had never been +printed, otherwise I would most probably have found it; but some +copies in writing had evidently been made and it had become a +favourite composition with the reciters at festive gatherings, but had +now gone out and was hopelessly lost. + +These, as I have already intimated, were but the little things that +touched a child's fancy; there was another romantic circumstance in +the life of Rosas which appealed to everybody, adult as well as child. + +He was the father of Dona Manuela, known by the affectionate +diminutive, Manuelita, throughout the land, and loved and admired by +all, even by her father's enemies, for her compassionate disposition. +Perhaps she was the one being in the world for whom he, a widower and +lonely man, cherished a great tenderness. It is certain that her power +over him was very great and that many lives that would have been taken +for State reasons were saved by her interposition. It was a beautiful +and fearful part that she, a girl, was called on to play on that +dreadful stage; and very naturally it was said that she, who was the +very spirit of mercy incarnate, could not have acted as the loving, +devoted daughter to one who was the monster of cruelty his enemies +proclaimed him to be. + +Here, in conclusion to this chapter, I had intended to introduce a few +sober reflections on the character of Rosas--certainly the greatest +and most interesting of all the South America Caudillos, or leaders, +who rose to absolute power during the long stormy period that followed +on the war of independence--reflections which came to me later, in my +teens, when I began to think for myself and form my own judgments. +This I now perceive would be a mistake, if not an impertinence, since +I have not the temper of mind for such exercises and should give too +much importance to certain singular acts on the Dictator's part which +others would perhaps regard as political errors, or due to sudden fits +of passion or petulance rather than as crimes. And some of his acts +are inexplicable, as for instance the public execution in the +interests of religion and morality of a charming young lady of good +family and her lover, the handsome young priest who had captivated the +town with his eloquence. Why he did it will remain a puzzle for ever. +There were many other acts which to foreigners and to those born in +later times might seem the result of insanity, but which were really +the outcome of a peculiar, sardonic, and somewhat primitive sense of +humour on his part which appeals powerfully to the men of the plains, +the gauchos, among whom Rosas lived from boyhood, when he ran away +from his father's house, and by whose aid he eventually rose to +supreme power. + +All these things do not much affect the question of Rosas as a ruler +and his place in history. Time, the old god, says the poet, invests +all things with honour, and makes them white. The poet-prophet is not +to be taken literally, but his words so undoubtedly contain a +tremendous truth. And here, then, one may let the question rest. If +after half a century, and more, the old god is still sitting, chin on +hand, revolving this question, it would be as well to give him, say, +another fifty years to make up his mind and pronounce a final +judgment. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +OUR NEIGHBOURS AT THE POPLARS + +Homes on the great green plain--Making the acquaintance of our +neighbours--The attraction of birds--Los Alamos and the old lady of +the house--Her treatment of St. Anthony--The strange Barboza family-- +The man of blood--Great fighters--Barboza as a singer--A great quarrel +but no fight--A cattle-marking--Dona Lucia del Ombu--A feast--Barboza +sings and is insulted by El Rengo--Refuses to fight--The two kinds of +fighters--A poor little angel on horseback--My feeling for Anjelita-- +Boys unable to express sympathy--A quarrel with a friend--Enduring +image of a little girl. + + + +In a former chapter on the aspects of the plain I described the groves +and plantations, which marked the sites of the estancia houses, as +appearing like banks or islands of trees, blue in the distance, on the +vast flat sea-like plain. Some of these were many miles away and were +but faintly visible on the horizon, others nearer, and the nearest of +all was but two miles from us, on the hither side of that shallow +river to which my first long walk was taken, where I was amazed and +enchanted with my first sight of flamingoes. This place was called Los +Alamos, or The Poplars, a name which would have suited a large +majority of the estancia houses with trees growing about them, seeing +that the tall Lombardy poplar was almost always there in long rows +towering high above all other trees and a landmark in the district. It +is about the people dwelling at Los Alamos I have now to write. + +When I first started on my riding rambles about the plain I began to +make the acquaintance of some of our nearest neighbours, but at first +it was a slow process. As a child I was excessively shy of strangers, +and I also greatly feared the big savage house-dogs that would rush +out to attack any one approaching the gate. But a house with a grove +or plantation fascinated me, for where there were trees there were +birds, and I had soon made the discovery that you could sometimes meet +with birds of a new kind in a plantation quite near to your own. +Little by little I found out that the people were invariably friendly +towards a small boy, even the child of an alien and heretic race; also +that the dogs in spite of all their noise and fury never really tried +to pull me off my horse and tear me to pieces. In this way, thinking +of and looking only for the birds, I became acquainted with some of +the people individually, and as I grew to know them better from year +to year I sometimes became interested in them too, and in this and +three or four succeeding chapters I will describe those I knew best or +that interested me the most. Not only as I first knew or began to know +them in my seventh year, but in several instances I shall be able to +trace their lives and fortunes for some years further on. + +When out riding I went oftenest in the direction of Los Alamos, which +was west of us, or as the gauchos would say, "on the side where the +sun sets." For just behind the plantation, enclosed in its rows of +tall old poplars, was that bird-haunted stream which was an +irresistible attraction. The sight of running water, too, was a never- +failing joy, also the odours which greeted me in that moist green +place--odours earthy, herby, fishy, flowery, and even birdy, +particularly that peculiar musky odour given out on hot days by large +flocks of the glossy ibis. + +The person--owner or tenant, I forget which--who lived in the house +was an old woman named Dona Pascuala, whom I never saw without a cigar +in her mouth. Her hair was white, and her thousand-wrinkled face was +as brown as the cigar, and she had fun-loving eyes, a loud +authoritative voice and a masterful manner, and she was esteemed by +her neighbours as a wise and good woman. I was shy of her and avoided +the house while anxious to get peeps into the plantation to watch the +birds and look for nests, as whenever she caught sight of me she would +not let me off without a sharp cross-examination as to my motives and +doings. She would also have a hundred questions besides about the +family, how they were, what they were all doing, and whether it was +really true that we drank coffee every morning for breakfast; also if +it was true that all of us children, even the girls, when big enough +were going to be taught to read the almanac. + +I remember once when we had been having a long spell of wet weather, +and the low-lying plain about Los Alamos was getting flooded, she came +to visit my mother and told her reassuringly that the rain would not +last much longer. St. Anthony was the saint she was devoted to, and +she had taken his image from its place in her bedroom and tied a +string round its legs and let it down the well and left it there with +its head in the water. He was her own saint, she said, and after all +her devotion to him, and all the candles and flowers, this was how he +treated her! It was all very well, she told her saint, to amuse +himself by causing the rain to fall for days and weeks just to find +out whether men would be drowned or turn themselves into frogs to save +themselves: now she, Dona Pascuala, was going to find out how _he_ +liked it. There, with his head in the water, he would have to hang in +the well until the weather changed. + +Four years later, in my tenth year, Dona Pascuala moved away and was +succeeded at Los Alamos by a family named Barboza: strange people! +Half a dozen brothers and sisters, one or two married, and one, the +head and leader of the tribe, or family, a big man aged about forty +with fierce eagle-like eyes under bushy black eyebrows that looked +like tufts of feathers. But his chief glory was an immense crow-black +beard, of which he appeared to be excessively proud and was usually +seen stroking it in a slow deliberate manner, now with one hand, then +with both, pulling it out, dividing it, then spreading it over his +chest to display its full magnificence. He wore at his waist, in +front, a knife or _facon,_ with a sword-shaped hilt and a long curved +blade about two-thirds the length of a sword. + +He was a great fighter: at all events he came to our neighbourhood +with that reputation, and I at that time, at the age of nine, like my +elder brothers had come to take a keen interest in the fighting +gaucho. A duel between two men with knives, their ponchas wrapped +round their left arms and used as shields, was a thrilling spectacle +to us; I had already witnessed several encounters of this kind; but +these were fights of ordinary or small men and were very small affairs +compared with the encounters of the famous fighters, about which we +had news from time to time. Now that we had one of the genuine big +ones among us it would perhaps be our great good fortune to witness a +real big fight; for sooner or later some champion duellist from a +distance would appear to challenge our man, or else some one of our +own neighbours would rise up one day to dispute his claim to be cock +of the walk. But nothing of the kind happened, although on two +occasions I thought the wished moment had come. + +The first occasion was at a big gathering of gauchos when Barboza was +asked and graciously consented to sing a _decima_--a song or ballad +consisting of four ten-line stanzas. Now Barboza was a singer but not +a player on the guitar, so that an accompanist had to be called for. A +stranger at the meeting quickly responded to the call. Yes, he could +play to any man's singing--any tune he liked to call. He was a big, +loud-voiced, talkative man, not known to any person present; he was a +passer-by, and seeing a crowd at a rancho had ridden up and joined +them, ready to take a hand in whatever work or games might be going +on. Taking the guitar he settled down by Barboza's side and began +tuning the instrument and discussing the question of the air to be +played. And this was soon settled. + +Here I must pause to remark that Barboza, although almost as famous +for his _decimas_ as for his sanguinary duels, was not what one would +call a musical person. His singing voice was inexpressibly harsh, like +that, for example, of the carrion crow when that bird is most vocal in +its love season and makes the woods resound with its prolonged grating +metallic calls. The interesting point was that his songs were his own +composition and were recitals of his strange adventures, mixed with +his thoughts and feelings about things in general--his philosophy of +life. Probably if I had these compositions before me now in manuscript +they would strike me as dreadfully crude stuff; nevertheless I am +sorry I did not write some of them down and that I can only recall a +few lines. + +The _decima_ he now started to sing related to his early experiences, +and swaying his body from side to side and bending forward until his +beard was all over his knees he began in his raucous voice: + + En el ano mil ochocientos y quarenta, + Quando citaron todos los enrolados, + +which, roughly translated, means: + + Eighteen hundred and forty was the year + When all the enrolled were cited to appear. + +Thus far he had got when the guitarist, smiting angrily on the strings +with his palm, leaped to his feet, shouting, "No, no--no more of that! +What! do you sing to me of 1840--that cursed year! I refuse to play to +you! Nor will I listen to you, nor will I allow any person to sing of +that year and that event in my presence." + +Naturally every one was astonished, and the first thought was, What +will happen now? Blood would assuredly flow, and I was there to see-- +and how my elder brothers would envy me! + +Barboza rose scowling from his seat, and dropping his hand on the hilt +of his _facon_ said: "Who is this who forbids me, Basilio Barboza, to +sing of 1840?" + +"I forbid you!" shouted the stranger in a rage and smiting his breast. +"Do you know what it is to me to hear that date--that fatal year? It +is like the stab of a knife. I, a boy, was of that year; and when the +fifteen years of my slavery and misery were over there was no longer a +roof to shelter me, nor father nor mother nor land nor cattle!" + +Every one instantly understood the case of this poor man, half crazed +at the sudden recollection of his wasted and ruined life, and it did +not seem right that he should bleed and perhaps die for such a cause, +and all at once there was a rush and the crowd thrust itself between +him and his antagonist and hustled him a dozen yards away. Then one in +the crowd, an old man, shouted: "Do you think, friend, that you are +the only one in this gathering who lost his liberty and all he +possessed on earth in that fatal year? I, too, suffered as you have +suffered--" + +"And I!" "And I!" shouted others, and while this noisy demonstration +was going on some of those who were pressing close to the stranger +began to ask him if he knew who the man was he had forbidden to sing +of 1840? Had he never heard of Barboza, the celebrated fighter who had +killed so many men in fights? + +Perhaps he had heard and did not wish to die just yet: at all events a +change came over his spirit; he became more rational and even +apologetic, and Barboza graciously accepted the assurance that he had +no desire to provoke a quarrel. + +And so there was no fight after all! + +The second occasion was about two years later--a long period, during +which there had been a good many duels with knives in our +neighbourhood; but Barboza was not in any of them, no person had come +forward to challenge his supremacy. It is commonly said among the +gauchos that when a man has proved his prowess by killing a few of his +opponents, he is thereafter permitted to live in peace. + +One day I attended a cattle-marking at a small native estancia a few +miles from home, owned by an old woman whom I used to think the oldest +person in the world as she hobbled about supporting herself with two +sticks, bent nearly double, with her half-blind, colourless eyes +always fixed on the ground. But she had granddaughters living with her +who were not bad-looking: the eldest, Antonia, a big loud-voiced young +woman, known as the "white mare" on account of the whiteness of her +skin and large size, and three others. It was not strange that cattle- +branding at this estancia brought all the men and youths for leagues +around to do a service to the venerable Dona Lucia del Ombu. That was +what she was called, because there was a solitary grand old ombu tree +growing about a hundred yards from the house--a well-known landmark in +the district. There were also half a dozen weeping willows close to +the house, but no plantation, no garden, and no ditch or enclosure of +any kind. The old mud-built rancho, thatched with rushes, stood on the +level naked plain; it was one of the old decayed establishments, and +the cattle were not many, so that by midday the work was done and the +men, numbering about forty or fifty, trooped to the house to be +entertained at dinner. + +As the day was hot and the indoor accommodation insufficient, the +tables were in the shade of the willows, and there we had our feast of +roast and boiled meat, with bread and wine and big dishes of _aros +con leche_--rice boiled in milk with sugar and cinnamon. Next to +cummin-seed cinnamon is the spice best loved of the gaucho: he will +ride long leagues to get it. + +The dinner over and tables cleared, the men and youths disposed +themselves on the benches and chairs and on their spread ponchos on +the ground, and started smoking and conversing. A guitar was produced, +and Barboza being present, surrounded as usual by a crowd of his +particular friends or parasites, all eagerly listening to his talk and +applauding his sallies with bursts of laughter, he was naturally first +asked to sing. The accompanist in this case was Goyo Montes, a little +thick-set gaucho with round staring blue eyes set in a round pinky- +brown face, and the tune agreed on was one known as _La Lechera_--the +Milkmaid. + +Then, while the instrument was being tuned and Barboza began to sway +his body about, and talking ceased, a gaucho named Marcos but usually +called _El Rengo_ on account of his lameness, pushed himself into the +crowd surrounding the great man and seated himself on a table and put +his foot of his lame leg on the bench below. + +El Rengo was a strange being, a man with remarkably fine aquiline +features, piercing black eyes, and long black hair. As a youth he had +distinguished himself among his fellow-gauchos by his daring feats of +horsemanship, mad adventures, and fights; then he met with the +accident which lamed him for life and at the same time saved him from +the army; when, at a cattle-parting, he was thrown from his horse and +gored by a furious bull, the animal's horn having been driven deep +into his thigh. From that time Marcos was a man of peace and was liked +and respected by every one as a good neighbour and a good fellow. He +was also admired for the peculiarly amusing way of talking he had, +when in the proper mood, which was usually when he was a little +exhilarated by drink. His eyes would sparkle and his face light up, +and he would set his listeners laughing at the queer way in which he +would play with his subject; but there was always some mockery and +bitterness in it which served to show that something of the dangerous +spirit of his youth still survived in him. + +On this occasion he was in one of his most wilful, mocking, reckless +moods, and was no sooner seated than he began smilingly, in his quiet +conversational tone, to discuss the question of the singer and the +tune. Yes, he said, the Milkmaid was a good tune, but another name to +it would have suited the subject better. Oh, the subject! Any one +might guess what that would be. The words mattered more than the air. +For here we had before us not a small sweet singer, a goldfinch in a +cage, but a cock--a fighting cock with well-trimmed comb and tail and +a pair of sharp spurs to its feet. Listen, friends, he is now about to +flap his wings and crow. + +I was leaning against the table on which he sat and began to think it +was a dangerous place for me, since I was certain that every word was +distinctly heard by Barboza; yet he made no sign, but went on swaying +from side to side as if no mocking word had reached him, then launched +out in one of his most atrocious _decimas_, autobiographical and +philosophical. In the first stanza he mentions that he had slain +eleven men, but using a poet's license he states the fact in a +roundabout way, saying that he slew six men, and then five more, +making eleven in all: + + Seis muertes e hecho y cinco son once. + +which may be paraphrased thus: + + Six men had I sent to hades or heaven, + Then added five more to make them eleven. + +The stanza ended, Marcos resumed his comments. What I desire to know, +said he, is, why eleven? It is not the proper number in this case. One +more is wanted to make the full dozen. He who rests at eleven has not +completed his task and should not boast of what he has done. Here am I +at his service: here is a life worth nothing to any one waiting to be +taken if he is willing and has the power to take it. + +This was a challenge direct enough, yet strange to say no sudden +furious action followed, no flashing of steel and blood splashed on +table and benches; nor was there the faintest sign of emotion in the +singer's face, or any tremor or change in his voice when he resumed +his singing. And so it went on to the end--boastful stanza and +insulting remarks from Marcos; and by the time the _decima_ ended a +dozen or twenty men had forced themselves in between the two so that +there could be no fight on this occasion. + +Among those present was an old gaucho who took a peculiar interest in +me on account of my bird lore and who used to talk and expound gaucho +philosophy to me in a fatherly way. Meeting him a day or two later I +remarked I did not think Barboza deserving of his fame as a fighter. I +thought him a coward. No, he said, he was not a coward. He could have +killed Marcos, but he considered that it would be a mistake, since it +would add nothing to his reputation and would probably make him +disliked in the district. That was all very well, I replied, but how +could any one who was not a poltroon endure to be publicly insulted +and challenged without flying into a rage and going for his enemy? + +He smiled and answered that I was an ignorant boy and would understand +these things better some day, after knowing a good many fighters. +There were some, he said, who were men of fiery temper, who would fly +at and kill any one for the slightest cause--an idle or imprudent word +perhaps. There were others of a cool temper whose ambition it was to +be great fighters, who fought and killed people not because they hated +or were in a rage with them, but for the sake of the fame it would +give them. Barboza was one of this cool kind, who when he fought +killed, and he was not to be drawn into a fight by any ordinary person +or any fool who thought proper to challenge him. + +Thus spoke my mentor and did not wholly remove my doubts. But I must +now go back to the earlier date, when this strange family were newly +come to our neighbourhood. + +All of the family appeared proud of their strangeness and of the +reputation of their fighting brother, their protector and chief. No +doubt he was an unspeakable ruffian, and although I was accustomed to +ruffians even as a child and did not find that they differed much from +other men, this one with his fierce piercing eyes and cloud of black +beard and hair, somehow made me uncomfortable, and I accordingly +avoided Los Alamos. I disliked the whole tribe, except a little girl +of about eight, a child, it was said, of one of the unmarried sisters. +I never discovered which of her aunts, as she called all these tall, +white-faced heavy-browed women, was her mother. I used to see her +almost every day, for though a child she was out on horseback early +and late, riding barebacked and boy fashion, flying about the plain, +now to drive in the horses, now to turn back the flock when it was +getting too far afield, then the cattle, and finally to ride on +errands to neighbours' houses or to buy groceries at the store. I can +see her now at full gallop on the plain, bare-footed and bare-legged, +in her thin old cotton frock, her raven-black hair flying loose +behind. The strangest thing in her was her whiteness: her beautifully +chiselled face was like alabaster, without a freckle or trace of +colour in spite of the burning hot sun and wind she was constantly +exposed to. She was also extremely lean, and strangely serious for a +little girl: she never laughed and rarely smiled. Her name was Angela, +and she was called Anjelita, the affectionate diminutive, but I doubt +that much affection was ever bestowed on her. + +To my small-boy's eyes she was a beautiful being with a cloud on her, +and I wished it had been in my power to say something to make her +laugh and forget, though but for a minute, the many cares and +anxieties which made her so unnaturally grave for a little girl. +Nothing proper to say ever came to me, and if it had come it would no +doubt have remained unspoken. Boys are always inarticulate where their +deepest feelings are concerned; however much they may desire it they +cannot express kind and sympathetic feelings. In a halting way they +may sometimes say a word of that nature to another boy, or pal, but +before a girl, however much she may move their compassion, they remain +dumb. I remember, when my age was about nine, the case of a quarrel +about some trivial matter I once had with my closest friend, a boy of +my own age who, with his people, used to come yearly on a month's +visit to us from Buenos Ayres. For three whole days we spoke not a +word and took no notice of each other, whereas before we had been +inseparable. Then he all at once came up to me and holding out his +hand said, "Let's be friends." I seized the proffered hand, and was +more grateful to him than I have ever felt towards any one since, just +because by approaching me first I was spared the agony of having to +say those three words to him. Now that boy--that is to say, the +material part of him--is but a handful of grey ashes, long, long ago +at rest; but I can believe that if the other still living part should +by chance be in this room now, peeping over my shoulder to see what I +am writing, he would burst into as hearty a laugh as a ghost is +capable of at this ancient memory, and say to himself that it took him +all his courage to speak those three simple words. + +And so it came about that I said no gentle word to white-faced +Anjelita, and in due time she vanished out of my life with all that +queer tribe of hers, the bloody uncle included, to leave an enduring +image in my mind which has never quite lost a certain disturbing +effect. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +OUR NEAREST ENGLISH NEIGHBOUR + +Casa Antigua, our nearest English neighbour's house--Old Lombardy +poplars--Cardoon thistle or wild artichoke--Mr. Royd, an English +sheep-farmer--Making sheep's-milk cheeses under difficulties--Mr. +Royd's native wife--The negro servants--The two daughters: a striking +contrast--The white blue-eyed child and her dusky playmate--A happy +family--Our visits to Casa Antigua--Gorgeous dinners--Estanislao and +his love of wild life--The Royds' return visits--A homemade carriage-- +The gaucho's primitive conveyance--The happy home broken up. + + + +One of the most important estancias in our neighbourhood, at all +events to us, was called Casa Antigua, and that it was an ancient +dwelling-place in that district appeared likely enough, since the +trees were the largest and had an appearance of extreme age. It must, +however, be remembered that in speaking of ancient things on the +pampas we mean things a century or two old, not many hundreds or +thousands of years as in Europe. Three centuries in that part of South +America takes us back to prehistoric times. These Lombardy poplars, +planted in long rows, were the largest I had seen: they were very +tall; many of them appeared to be dying of old age, and all had +enormous rough-barked buttressed trunks. The other shade-trees were +also old and gnarled, some of them dying. The house itself did not +look ancient, and was built of unburnt bricks and thatched, and had a +broad corridor supported by wooden posts or pillars. + +The Casa Antigua was situated about six miles from our house, but +looked no more than three on account of the great height of the trees, +which made it appear large and conspicuous on that wide level plain. +The land for miles round it was covered with a dense growth of cardoon +thistles. Now the cardoon is the European artichoke run wild and its +character somewhat altered in a different soil and climate. The large +deep-cut leaves are of a palish grey-green colour, the stalks covered +with a whitish-grey down, and the leaves and stems thickly set with +long yellow spines. It grows in thick bushes, and the bushes grow +close together to the exclusion of grasses and most other plant-life, +and produces purple blossoms big as a small boy's head, on stems four +or five feet high. The stalks, which are about as thick as a man's +wrist, were used when dead and dry as firewood; and this indeed was +the only fuel obtainable at that time in the country, except "cow +chips," from the grazing lands and "peat" from the sheepfold. At the +end of summer, in February, the firewood-gatherers would set to work +gathering the cardoon-stalks, their hands and arms protected with +sheep-skin gloves, and at that season our carters would bring in huge +loads, to be stacked up in piles high as a house for the year's use. + +The land where the cardoon grows so abundantly is not good for sheep, +and at Casa Antigua all the land was of this character. The tenant was +an Englishman, a Mr. George Royd, and it was thought by his neighbours +that he had made a serious mistake which would perhaps lead to +disastrous consequences, when investing his capital in the expensive +fine-wool breeds to put them on such land. All this I heard years +afterwards. At that time I only knew that he was our nearest English +neighbour, and more to us on that account than any other. We certainly +had other English neighbours--those who lived half a day's journey on +horseback from us were our neighbours there--English, Welsh, Irish, +Scotch, but they were not like Mr. Royd. These others, however +prosperous (and some were the owners of large estates), came mostly +from the working or lower middle class in their own country and were +interested solely in their own affairs. Mr. Royd was of a different +order. He was about forty-five when my years were seven, a handsome +clean-shaved man with bright blue humorous eyes and brown hair. He was +an educated man, and loved to meet with others of like mind with +himself, with whom he could converse in his own language. There was no +English in his house. He had a bright genial disposition, a love of +fun, and a hearty ringing laugh it was a pleasure to hear. He was an +enthusiast about his sheep-farming, always full of fine projects, +always dreaming of the things he intended doing and of the great +results which would follow. One of his pet notions was that cheeses +made with sheep's milk would be worth any price he liked to put on +them, and he accordingly began to make them under very great +difficulties, since the sheep had to be broken to it and they yielded +but a small quantity compared with the sheep of certain districts in +France and other countries where they have been milked for many +generations and have enlarged their udders. Worst of all, his native +servants considered it a degradation to have to stoop to milk such +creatures as sheep. "Why not milk the cats?" they scornfully demanded. +However, he succeeded in making cheeses, and very nice they were, far +nicer in fact than any native cheeses made from cows' milk we had ever +tasted. But the difficulties were too great for him to produce them in +sufficient quantity for the market, and eventually the sheep-milking +came to an end. + +Unfortunately Mr. Royd had no one to help him in his schemes, or to +advise and infuse a little more practicality into him. His family +could never have been anything but a burden and drag on him in his +struggle, and his disaster probably resulted from his romantic and +over-sanguine temper, which made him the husband of his wife and +caused him to dream of a fortune built on cheeses made from sheep's +milk. + +His wife was a native; in other words, a lady of Spanish blood, of a +good family, city born and bred. They had met in Buenos Ayres when in +their bloom, at the most emotional period of life, and in spite of +opposition from her people and of the tremendous difficulties in the +way of a union between one of the Faith and a heretic in those +religious days, they were eventually made man and wife. As a girl she +had been beautiful; now, aged about forty, she was only fat--a large +fat woman, with an extremely white skin, raven-black hair and +eyebrows, and velvet-black eyes. That was Dona Mercedes as I knew her. +She did no work in the house, and never went for a walk or a ride on +horseback: she spent her time in an easy-chair, always well dressed, +and in warm weather always with a fan in her hand. I can hear the +rattle of that fan now as she played with it, producing a succession +of graceful waving motions and rhythmic sounds as an accompaniment to +the endless torrent of small talk which she poured out; for she was an +exceedingly voluble person, and to assist in making the conversation +more lively there were always two or three screaming parrots on their +perches near her. She also liked to be surrounded by all the other +females in the house, her two daughters and the indoor servants, four +or five in number, all full-blooded negresses, black but comely, fat, +pleasant-looking, laughing young and middle-aged women, all as a rule +dressed in white. They were unmarried, but two or three of them were +the mothers of certain small darkies to be seen playing about and +rolling in the dust near the servants' quarters at the far end of the +long low house. + +The eldest daughter, Eulodia, was about fifteen as I first remember +her, a tall slim handsome girl with blue-black hair, black eyes, +coral-red lips, and a remarkably white skin without a trace of red +colour in it. She was no doubt just like what her mother had been when +the dashing impressionable young George Royd had first met her and +lost his heart--and soul. The younger sister, about eight at that +time, was a perfect contrast to Eulodia: she had taken after her +father, and in colour and appearance generally was a perfect little +English girl of the usual angel type, with long shining golden hair, +worn in curls, eyes of the purest turquoise blue, and a complexion +like the petals of a wild rose. Adelina was her pretty name, and to us +Adelina was the most beautiful human being in the world, especially +when seen with her dusky little playmate Liberata, who was of the same +age and height and was the child of one of the black servants. These +two had grown fond of each other from the cradle, and so Liberata had +been promoted to be Adelina's constant companion in the house and to +wear pretty dresses. Being a _mulatita_ she was dark or dusky skinned, +with a reddish tinge in the duskiness, purple-red lips, and liquid +black eyes with orange-brown reflections in them--the eyes called +tortoiseshell in America. Her crisp cast-iron coloured hair was worn +like a fleece round her small head, and her features were so refined +one could only suppose that her father had been a singularly handsome +as well as a white man. Adelina and Liberata were inseparable, except +at meal-times, when the dusky little girl had to go back among her own +tribe on the mother's side; and they formed an exquisite picture as +one often saw them, standing by the Senora's chair with their arms +round each other's necks--the pretty dark-skinned child and the +beautiful white child with shining hair and blue forget-me-not eyes. + +Adelina was her father's favourite, but he was fond of all his people, +the black servants included, and they of him, and the life at Casa +Antigua appeared to be an exceedingly happy and harmonious one. + +Looking back at this distance of time it strikes me when I come to +think of it, that it was a most extraordinary _menage_, a collection +of the most incongruous beings it would be possible to bring together +--a sort of Happy Family in the zoological sense. It did not seem so +at the time, when in any house on the wide pampas one would meet with +people whose lives and characters would be regarded in civilized +countries as exceedingly odd and almost incredible. + +It was a red-letter day to us children when, about once a month, we +were packed into a trap and driven with our parents to spend a day at +Casa Antigua. The dinner at noon was the most gorgeous affair of the +kind we knew. One of Mr. Royd's enthusiasms was cookery--the making of +rare and delicate dishes--and the servants had been taught so well +that we used to be amazed at the richness and profusion of the repast. +These dinners were to us like the "collations" and feasts so minutely +and lovingly described in the _Arabian Nights_, especially that dinner +of many courses given by the Barmecide to his hungry guest which +followed the first tantalizing imaginary one. The wonder was that any +man in the position of a sheep-farmer in a semi-barbarous land, far +from any town, could provide such dinners for his visitors. + +After dinner my best time would come, when I would steal off to look +for Estanislao, the young native horseman, who was only too +enthusiastic about wild life and spent more time hunting rheas than in +attending to his duties. "When I see an ostrich," he would say, "I +leave the flock and drop my work no matter what it is. I would rather +lose my place on the estancia than not chase it." But he never lost +his place, since it appeared that no one could do anything wrong on +the estancia and not be forgiven by its master. + +Then Estanislao, a big fellow in gaucho dress, wearing a red +handkerchief tied round his head in place of hat, and a mass or cloud +of blackish crinkled hair on his neck and shoulders, would take me +round the plantation to show me any nests he had found and any rare +birds that happened to be about. + +Towards evening we would be bundled back into the trap and driven +home. Then, when the day came round for the return visit, Mr. Royd +would bundle his family into their "carriage," which he, without being +a carriage-builder or even a carpenter, had made with his own hands. +It had four solid wooden wheels about a yard in diameter, and upright +wooden sides about four or five feet high. It was springless and +without seats, and had a long pole to which two horses were fastened, +and Estanislao, mounted on one, would thrash them into a gallop and +carry the thing bounding over the roadless plain. The fat lady and +other passengers were saved from being bumped to death by several +mattresses, pillows, and cushions heaped inside. It was the strangest, +most primitive conveyance I ever saw, except the one commonly used by +a gaucho to take his wife on a visit to a neighbour's house when she +was in a delicate condition or too timid to ride on a horse or not +well enough off to own a side-saddle. This was a well-stretched, dried +horse-hide, with a lasso attached at one end to the head or fore-part +of the hide and the other end to the gaucho's horse, as a rule to the +surcingle. A stool or cushion was placed in the centre of the big hide +for the lady to sit on, and when she had established herself on it the +man would whip up his horse and away he would gallop, dragging the +strange conveyance after him--a sight which filled the foreigner with +amazement. + +Our intimate happy relations with the Royd family continued till about +my twelfth year, then came rather suddenly to an end. Mr. Royd, who +had always seemed one of the brightest, happiest men we knew, all at +once fell into a state of profound melancholy. No one could guess the +cause, as he was quite well and appeared to be prosperous. He was at +length persuaded by his friends to go to Buenos Ayres to consult a +doctor, and went alone and stayed in the house of an Anglo-Argentine +family who were also friends of ours. By-and-by the dreadful news came +that he had committed suicide by cutting his throat with a razor. His +wife and daughters then left the Casa Antigua, and not long afterwards +Dona Mercedes wrote to my mother that they were left penniless; that +their flocks and other possessions at the estancia were to be sold for +the benefit of their creditors, and that she and her daughters were +living on the charity of some of her relations who were not well off. +Her only hope was that her two daughters, being good-looking girls, +would find husbands and be in a position to keep her from want. Her +one word about her dead husband, the lovable, easy-going George Royd, +the bright handsome English boy who had wooed and won her so many +years before, was that she looked upon her meeting with him in +girlhood as the great calamity of her life, that in killing himself +and leaving his wife and daughters to poverty and suffering, he had +committed an unpardonable crime. + +So ends the story of our nearest English neighbour. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +A BREEDER OF PIEBALDS + +La Tapera, a native estancia--Don Gregorio Gandara--His grotesque +appearance and strange laugh--Gandara's wife and her habits and pets-- +My dislike of hairless dogs--Gandara's daughters--A pet ostrich--In +the peach orchard--Gandara's herds of piebald brood mares--His +masterful temper--His own saddle-horses--Creating a sensation at +gaucho gatherings--The younger daughter's lovers--Her marriage at our +house--The priest and the wedding breakfast--Demetria forsaken by her +husband. + + + +When, standing by the front gate of our home, we looked out to the +north over the level plain and let our eyes rove west from the tall +Lombardy poplars of Casa Antigua, they presently rested on another +pile or island of trees, blue in the distance, marking the site of +another estancia house. This was the estancia called La Tapera, with +whose owner we also had friendly relations during all the years we +lived in that district. The owner was Don Gregorio Gandara, a native, +and like our nearest English neighbour, Mr. Royd, an enthusiast, and +was also like him in being the husband of a fat indolent wife who kept +parrots and other pet animals, and the father of two daughters. In +this case, too, there were no sons. There, however, all resemblance +ceased, since two men more unlike in their appearance, character, and +fortune it would not be easy to find. Don Gregorio was an +extraordinary person to look at; he had a round or barrel-shaped body, +short bow legs, and a big round head, which resembled a ball fashioned +out of a block of dark-coloured wood with a coarse human face and huge +ears rudely carved on it. He had a curly head, the crisp dark hair +growing as knobs, which gave his round skull the appearance of being +embossed like the head of a curly retriever. The large brown eyes were +extremely prominent, with a tremendous staring power in them, and the +whole expression was one of toad-like gravity. But he could laugh on +occasion, and his laugh to us children was the most grotesque and +consequently the most delightful thing about him. Whenever we saw him +ride up and dismount, and after fastening his magnificently +caparisoned horse to the outer gate come in to make a call on our +parents, we children would abandon our sports or whatever we were +doing and joyfully run to the house; then distributing ourselves about +the room on chairs and stools, sit, silent and meek, listening and +watching for Don Gregorio's laugh. He talked in a startlingly emphatic +way, almost making one jump when he assented to what was being said +with his loud sudden _si-si-si-si-si,_ and when he spoke bringing +out his sentences two or three words at a time, sounding like angry +barks. And by and by something would be said to touch his risible +faculties, which would send him off in a sort of fit; and throwing +himself back in his chair, closing his eyes and opening wide his big +mouth he would draw his breath in with a prolonged wailing or sibilant +sound until his lungs were too full to hold any more, and it would +then be discharged with a rush, accompanied by a sort of wild animal +scream, something like the scream of a fox. Then instantly, almost +before the scream was over, his countenance would recover its +preternatural gravity and intense staring attention. + +Our keen delight in this performance made it actually painful since +the feeling could not be expressed--since we knew that our father knew +that we were only too liable to explode in the presence of an honoured +guest, and nothing vexed him more. While in the room we dared not +change glances or even smile; but after seeing and hearing the +wonderful laugh a few times we would steal off and going to some quiet +spot sit in a circle and start imitating it, finding it a very +delightful pastime. + +After I had learnt to ride I used sometimes to go with my mother and +sisters for an afternoon's visit to La Tapera. The wife was the +biggest and fattest woman in our neighbourhood and stood a head and +shoulders taller than her barrel-shaped husband. She was not, like +Dona Mercedes, a lady by birth, nor an educated person, but resembled +her in her habits and tastes. She sat always in a large cane easy- +chair, outdoors or in, invariably with four hairless dogs in her +company, one on her broad lap, another on a lambskin rug at her feet, +and one on rugs at each side. The three on the floor were ever +patiently waiting for their respective turns to occupy the broad warm +lap when the time came to remove the last-favoured one from that +position. I had an invincible dislike to these dogs with their shiny +blue-black naked skins, like the bald head of an old negro, and their +long white scattered whiskers. These white stiff hairs on their faces +and their dim blinking eyes gave them a certain resemblance to very +old ugly men with black blood in them, and made them all the more +repulsive. + +The two daughters, both grown to womanhood, were named Marcelina and +Demetria; the first big, brown, jolly, and fat like her mother, the +other with better features, a pale olive skin, dark melancholy eyes, +and a gentle pensive voice and air which made her seem like one of a +different family and race. The daughters would serve mate to us, a +beverage which as a small boy I did not like, but there was no +chocolate or tea in that house for visitors, and in fruit-time I was +always glad to get away to the orchard. As at our own home the old +peach trees grew in the middle part of the plantation, the other parts +being planted with rows of Lombardy poplars and other large shade +trees. A tame ostrich, or rhea, was kept at the house, and as long as +we remained indoors or seated in the verandah he would hang about +close by, but would follow us as soon as we started off to the +orchard. He was like a pet dog and could not endure to be left alone +or in the uncongenial company of other domestic creatures--dogs, cats, +fowls, turkeys, and geese. He regarded men and women as the only +suitable associates for an ostrich, but was not allowed in the rooms +on account of his inconvenient habit of swallowing metal objects such +as scissors, spoons, thimbles, bodkins, copper coins, and anything of +the kind he could snatch up when no one was looking. In the orchard +when he saw us eating peaches he would do the same, and if he couldn't +reach high enough to pluck them for himself he would beg of us. It was +great fun to give him half a dozen or more at a time, then, when they +had been quickly gobbled up, watch their progress as the long row of +big round lumps slowly travelled down his neck and disappeared one by +one as the peaches passed into his crop. + +Gandara's great business was horse-breeding, and as a rule he kept +about a thousand brood mares, so that the herds usually numbered about +three thousand head. Strange to say, they were nearly all piebalds. +The gaucho, from the poorest worker on horseback to the largest owner +of lands and cattle, has, or had in those days, a fancy for having all +his riding-horses of one colour. Every man as a rule had his +_tropilla_--his own half a dozen or a dozen or more saddle-horses, and +he would have them all as nearly alike as possible, so that one man +had chestnuts, another browns, bays, silver- or iron-greys, duns, +fawns, cream-noses, or blacks, or whites, or piebalds. On some +estancias the cattle, too, were all of one colour, and I remember +one estate where the cattle, numbering about six thousand, were all +black. Our neighbour's fancy was for piebald horses, and so strong was +it that he wished not to have any one-coloured animals in his herd, +despite the fact that he bred horses for sale and that piebalds were +not so popular as horses of a more normal colouring. He would have +done better if, sticking to one colour, he had bred iron-greys, cream- +noses, chestnuts, or fawns or duns--all favourite colours; or better +still if he had not confined himself to any one colour. The stallions +were all piebalds, but many of the brood mares were white, as he had +discovered that he could get as good if not better results from +keeping white as well as pie-bald mares. Nobody quarrelled with +Gandara on account of his taste in horses; on the contrary, he and his +vast parti-coloured herds were greatly admired, but his ambition to +have a monopoly in piebalds was sometimes a cause of offence. He sold +two-year-old geldings only, but never a mare unless for slaughter, for +in those days the half-wild horses of the pampas were annually +slaughtered in vast numbers just for the hides and grease. If he found +a white or piebald mare in a neighbour's herd he would not rest until +he got possession of it, and by giving double its value in money or +horses he seldom found any difficulty in getting what he wanted. But +occasionally some poor gaucho with only a few animals would refuse to +part with a piebald mare, either out of pride, or "cussedness" as an +American would say, or because he was attached to it, and this would +stir Gandara's soul to its deepest depth and bring up all the +blackness in him to the surface. "What do you want, then?" he would +shout, sitting on his horse and making violent gestures with his right +hand and arm, barking out his words. "Have I not offered you enough? +Listen! What is a white mare to you--to you, a poor man--more than a +mare of any other colour? If your riding-horses must be of one colour, +tell me the colour you want. Black or brown or bay or chestnut, or +what? Look! you shall have two young unbroken geldings of two years in +exchange for the mare. Could you make a better exchange? Were you ever +treated more generously? If you refuse it will be out of spite, and I +shall know how to treat you. When you lose your animals and are +broken, when your children are sick with fever, when your wife is +starving, you shall not come to me for a horse to ride on, nor for +money, nor meat, nor medicine, since you will have me for an enemy +instead of a friend." + +That, they say, was how he raged and bullied when he met with a +repulse from a poor neighbour. So fond was Don Gregorio of his +piebalds that he spent the greater part of every day on horseback with +his different herds of mares, each led by its own proud piebald +stallion. He was perpetually waiting and watching with anxious +interest for the appearance of a new foal. If it turned out not a +piebald he cared nothing more about it, no matter how beautiful in +colour it might be or what good points it had: it was to go as soon as +he could get rid of it; but if a piebald, he would rejoice, and if +there was anything remarkable in its colouring he would keep a sharp +eye on it, to find out later perhaps that he liked it too well to part +with it. Eventually, when broken, it would go into his private +_tropilla_, and in this way he would always possess three or four +times as many saddle-horses as he needed. If you met Gandara every day +for a week or two you would see him each time on a different horse, +and every one of them would be more or less a surprise to you on +account of its colouring. + +There was something fantastic in this passion. It reminds one of the +famous eighteenth-century miller of Newhaven, described by Mark Antony +Lower in his book about the strange customs and quaint characters in +the Sussex of the old days. The miller used to pay weekly visits on +horseback to his customers in the neighbouring towns and villages, his +horse, originally a white one, having first been painted some +brilliant colour--blue, green, yellow, orange, purple, or scarlet. The +whole village would turn out to look at the miller's wonderful horse +and speculate as to the colour he would exhibit on his next +appearance. Gandara's horses were strangely coloured by nature aided +by artificial selection, and I remember that as a boy I thought them +very beautiful. Sometimes it was a black- or brown- or bay-and-white, +or a chestnut- or silver-grey- or strawberry-red-and-white, but the +main point was the pleasing arrangement and shading of the dark +colour. Some of his best selected specimens were iron- or blue-grey- +and-white; others, finer still, fawn-and-white and dun-and-white, and +the best of all, perhaps, white and a metallic tawny yellow, the +colour the natives call bronze or brassy, which I never see in +England. Horses of this colour have the ears edged and tipped with +black, the muzzle, fetlocks, mane, and tail also black. I do not know +if he ever succeeded in breeding a tortoiseshell. + +Gandara's pride in the horses he rode himself--the rare blooms +selected from his equine garden--showed itself in the way in which he +decorated them with silver headstalls and bit and the whole gear +sparkling with silver, while he was careless of his own dress, going +about in an old rusty hat, unpolished boots, and a frayed old Indian +poncho or cloak over his gaucho garments. Probably the most glorious +moment of his life was when he rode to a race-meeting or cattle- +marking or other gathering of the gaucho population of the district, +when all eyes would be turned to him on his arrival. Dismounting, he +would hobble his horse, tie the glittering reins to the back of the +saddle, and leave him proudly champing his big native bit and tossing +his decorated head, while the people gathered round to admire the +strangely-coloured animal as if it had been a Pegasus just alighted +from the skies to stand for a while exhibiting itself among the horses +of the earth. + +My latest recollections of La Tapera are concerned more with Demetria +than the piebalds. She was not an elegant figure, as was natural in a +daughter of the grotesque Don Gregorio, but her countenance, as I have +said, was attractive on account of its colour and gentle wistful +expression, and being the daughter of a man rich in horses she did not +want for lovers. In those far-off days the idle, gay, well-dressed +young gambler was always a girl's first and often most successful +wooer, but at La Tapera the young lovers had to reckon with one who, +incredible as it seemed in a gaucho, hated gambling and kept a hostile +and rather terrifying eye on their approaches. Eventually Demetria +became engaged to a young stranger from a distance who had succeeded +in persuading the father that he was an eligible person and able to +provide for a wife. + +Now it happened that the nearest priest in our part of the country +lived a long distance away, and to get to him and his little thatched +chapel one had to cross a swamp two miles wide in which one's horse +would sink belly-deep in miry holes at least a dozen times before one +could get through. In these circumstances the Gandara family could not +go to the priest, but managed to persuade him to come to them, and as +La Tapera was not considered a good enough place in which to hold so +important a ceremony, my parents invited them to have the marriage in +our house. The priest arrived on horseback about noon on a sultry day, +hot and tired and well splashed with dried mud, and in a rather bad +temper. It must also have gone against him to unite these young people +in the house of heretics who were doomed to a dreadful future after +their rebellious lives had ended. However, he got through with the +business, and presently recovered his good temper and grew quite +genial and talkative when he was led into the dining-room and found a +grand wedding-breakfast with wine in plenty on the table. During the +breakfast I looked often and long at the faces of the newly-married +pair, and pitied our nice gentle Demetria, and wished she had not +given herself to that man. He was not a bad-looking young man and was +well-dressed in the gaucho costume, but he was strangely silent and +ill at ease the whole time and did not win our regard. I never saw him +again. It soon came out that he was a gambler and had nothing but his +skill with a pack of cards to live by, and Don Gregorio in a rage told +him to go back to his native place. And go he did very soon, leaving +poor Demetria on her parents' hands. + +Shortly after this unhappy experience Don Gregorio bought a house in +Buenos Ayres for his wife and daughters, so that they could go and +spend a month or two when they wanted a change, and I saw them on one +or two occasions when in town. He himself would have been out of his +element in such a place, shut up in a close room or painfully waddling +over the rough boulder-stones of the narrow streets on his bow legs. +Life for him was to be on the back of a piebald horse on the wide +green plain, looking after his beloved animals. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +THE HEAD OF A DECAYED HOUSE + +The Estancia Canada Seca--Low lands and floods--Don Anastacio, a +gaucho exquisite--A greatly respected man--Poor relations--Don +Anastacio a pig-fancier--Narrow escape from a pig--Charm of the low +green lands--The flower called _macachina_--A sweet-tasting bulb-- +Beauty of the green flower-sprinkled turf--A haunt of the golden +plover--The _Bolas_--My plover-hunting experience--Rebuked by a +gaucho--A green spot, our playground in summer and lake in winter--The +venomous toad-like Ceratophrys--Vocal performance of the toad-like +creature--We make war on them--The great lake battle and its results. + + + +In this chapter I wish to introduce the reader to the last but one of +the half a dozen of our nearest neighbours, selected as typical of the +smaller estancieros--a class of landowners and cattle-breeders then in +their decay and probably now fast vanishing. This was Don Anastacio +Buenavida, who was an original person too in his little way. He was +one of our very nearest neighbours, his estancia house being no more +than two short miles from us on the south side. Like most of these old +establishments, it was a long low building with a thatched roof, +enclosures for cattle and sheep close by, and an old grove or +plantation of shade-trees bordered with rows of tall Lombardy poplars. +The whole place had a decayed and neglected appearance, the grounds +being weedy and littered with bleached bones and other rubbish: fences +and ditches had also been destroyed and obliterated, so that the +cattle were free to rub their hides on the tree trunks and gnaw at the +bark. The estancia was called Canada Seca, from a sluggish muddy +stream near the house which almost invariably dried up in summer; in +winter after heavy rains it overflowed its low banks, and in very wet +seasons lake-like ponds of water were formed all over the low-lying +plain between Canada Seca and our house. A rainy season was welcome to +us children: the sight of wide sheets of clear shallow water with a +vivid green turf beneath excited us joyfully, and also afforded us +some adventurous days, one of which will be related by and by. + +Don Anastacio Buenavida was a middle-aged man, a bachelor, deeply +respected by his neighbours, and even looked on as a person of +considerable importance. So much did I hear in his praise that as a +child I had a kind of reverential feeling for him, which lasted for +years and did not, I think, wholly evaporate until I was in my teens +and began to form my own judgments. He was quite a little man, not +more than an inch or two over five feet high, slim, with a narrow +waist and small ladylike hands and feet. His small oval face was the +colour of old parchment; he had large dark pathetic eyes, a +beautifully shaped black moustache, and long black hair, worn in +symmetrical ringlets to his shoulders. In his dress too he was +something of an exquisite. He wore the picturesque gaucho costume; a +_camiseta_, or blouse, of the finest black cloth, profusely decorated +with silver buttons, puffs and pleats, and scarlet and green +embroidery; a _chiripa_, the shawl-like garment worn in place of +trousers, of the finest yellow or vicuna-coloured wool, the white +_carsoncillos_, or wide drawers, showing below, of the finest linen, +with more fringe and lace-work than was usual in that garment. His +boots were well polished, and his poncho, or cloak, of the finest +blue cloth, lined with scarlet. + +It must have taken Don Anastacio a couple of hours each morning to get +himself up in this fashion, ringlets and all, and once up he did +nothing but sit in the living-room, sipping bitter mate and taking +part from time to time in the general conversation, speaking always in +low but impressive tones. He would say something about the weather, +the lack or superabundance of water, according to the season, the +condition of his animals and the condition of the pasture--in fact, +just what everybody else was saying but of more importance as coming +from him. All listened to his words with the profoundest attention and +respect, and no wonder, since most of those who sat in his living- +room, sucking mate, were his poor relations who fed on his bounty. + +Don Anastacio was the last of a long line of estancieros once rich in +land and cattle, but for generations the Canada Seca estate had been +dwindling as land was sold, and now there was little left, and the +cattle and horses were few, and only a small flock of sheep kept just +to provide the house with mutton. His poor relations living scattered +about the district knew that he was not only an improvident but an +exceedingly weak and soft-hearted man, in spite of his grand manner, +and many of the poorest among them had been allowed to build their +ranches on his land and to keep a few animals for their sustenance: +most of these had built their hovels quite close to the estancia +house, behind the plantation, so that it was almost like a hamlet at +this point. These poor neighbours had the freedom of the kitchen or +living-room; it was usually full of them, especially of the women, +gossiping, sipping endless mate, and listening with admiring attention +to the wise words which fell at intervals from the lips of the head of +the family or tribe. + +Altogether, Don Anastacio in his ringlets was an ineffectual, +colourless, effeminate person, a perfect contrast to his ugly, barrel- +shaped, badly-dressed but robust-minded neighbour, Gandara. Yet he too +had a taste in animals which distinguished him among his fellow- +landowners, and even reminded one of Gandara in a ridiculous way. For +just as Gandara was devoted to piebald horses, so Don Anastacio was +devoted to pigs. It would not have been like him if these had been +pigs for profit: they were not animals fit to be fattened for the +market, and no person would have thought of buying such beasts. They +were of the wild-pig breed, descended originally from the European +animal introduced by the early Spanish colonists, but after two or +three centuries of feral life a good deal changed in appearance from +their progenitors. This feral pig was called _barraco_ in the +vernacular, and was about a third less in size than the domestic +animal, with longer legs and more pointed face, and of a uniform deep +rust-red in colour. Among hundreds I never saw one with any black or +white on it. + +I believe that before Don Anastacio's time a few of these wild pigs +had been kept as a curiosity at the estancia, and that when he came +into possession he allowed them to increase and roam in herds all over +the place, doing much harm by rooting up many acres of the best +grazing land in their search after grubs, earthworms, mole-crickets, +and blind snakes, along with certain roots and bulbs which they liked. +This was their only provender when there happened to be no carcasses +of cows, horses, or sheep for them to feed on in company with the dogs +and carrion hawks. He would not allow his pigs to be killed, but +probably his poor relations and pensioners were out occasionally by +night to stick a pig when beef and mutton were wanting. I never tasted +or wanted to taste their flesh. The gaucho is inordinately fond of the +two gamiest-flavoured animals in the pampas--the ostrich or rhea and +the hairy armadillo. These I could eat and enjoy eating, although I +was often told by English friends that they were too strong for their +stomachs; but the very thought of this wild pig-flesh produced a +sensation of disgust. + +One day when I was about eight years old I was riding home at a lonely +spot three or four miles out, going at a fast gallop by a narrow path +through a dense growth of giant thistles seven or eight feet high, +when all at once I saw a few yards before me a big round heap of +thistle plants, which had been plucked up entire and built into a +shelter from the hot sun about four feet high. As I came close to it a +loud savage grunt and the squealing of many little piglets issued from +the mound, and out from it rushed a furious red sow and charged me. +The pony suddenly swerved aside in terror, throwing me completely over +on one side, but luckily I had instinctively gripped the mane with +both hands, and with a violent effort succeeded in getting a leg back +over the horse, and we swiftly left the dangerous enemy behind. Then, +remembering all I had been told about the ferocity of these pigs, it +struck me that I had had an extremely narrow escape, since if I had +been thrown off the savage beast would have had me at her mercy and +would have certainly killed me in a couple of minutes; and as she was +probably mad with hunger and thirst in that lonely hot spot, with a +lot of young to feed, it would not have taken her long to devour me, +bones and boots included. + +This set me thinking on the probable effect of my disappearance, of my +mother's terrible anxiety, and what they would think and do about it +They would know from the return of the pony that I had fallen +somewhere: they would have searched for me all over the surrounding +plain, especially in all the wilder, lonelier places where birds +breed; on lands where the cardoon thistle flourished most, and in the +vast beds of bulrushes in the marshes, but would not have found me. +And at length when the searching was all over, some gaucho riding by +that cattle-path through the thistles would catch sight of a piece of +cloth, a portion of a boy's garment, and the secret of my end would be +discovered. + +I had never liked the red pigs, on account of the way they ploughed up +and disfigured the beautiful green sward with their iron-hard snouts, +also because of the powerful and disgusting smell they emitted, but +after this adventure with the sow the feeling was much stronger, and I +wondered more and more why that beautiful soul, Don Anastacio, +cherished an affection for such detestable beasts. + +In spring and early summer the low-lying areas about Canada Seca were +pleasant places to see and ride on where the pigs had not defaced +them: they kept their bright verdure when the higher grounds were +parched and brown; then too, after rain, they were made beautiful with +the bright little yellow flower called _macachina_. + +As the _macachina_ was the first wild flower to blossom in the land it +had as great an attraction to us children as the wild strawberry, +ground-ivy, celandine, and other first blooms for the child in +England. Our liking for our earliest flower was all the greater +because we could eat it and liked its acid taste, also because it had +a bulb very nice to eat--a small round bulb the size of a hazel nut, +of a pearly white, which tasted like sugar and water. That little +sweetness was enough to set us all digging the bulbs up with table +knives, but even little children can value things for their beauty as +well as taste. The _macachina_ was like the wood-sorrel in shape, both +flower and leaf, but the leaves were much smaller and grew close to +the ground, as the plant flourished most where the grass was close- +cropped by the sheep, forming a smooth turf like that of our chalk +downs. The flowers were never crowded together like the buttercup, +forming sheets of shining yellow, but grew two or three inches apart, +each slender stem producing a single flower, which stood a couple of +inches above the turf. So fine were the stems that the slightest +breath of wind would set the blossoms swaying, and it was then a +pretty sight, and often held me motionless in the midst of some green +place, when all around me for hundreds of yards the green carpet of +grass was abundantly sprinkled with thousands of the little yellow +blossoms all swaying to the light wind. + +These green level lands were also a favourite haunt of the golden +plover on their first arrival in September from their breeding-places +many thousands of miles away in the arctic regions. Later in the +season, as the water dried up, they would go elsewhere. They came in +flocks and were then greatly esteemed as a table-bird, especially by +my father, but we could only have them when one of my elder brothers, +who was the sportsman of the family, went out to shoot them. As a very +small boy I was not allowed to use a gun, but as I had been taught to +throw the _bolas_ by the little native boys I sometimes associated +with, I thought I might be able to procure a few of the birds with it. +The _bolas_, used for such an object, is a string a couple of yards +long, made from fine threads cut from a colt's hide, twisted or +braided, and a leaden ball at each end, one being the size of a hen's +egg, the other less than half the size. The small ball is held in the +hand, the other swung round three or four times and the _bolas_ then +launched at the animal or bird one wishes to capture. + +I spent many hours on several consecutive days following the flocks +about on my pony, hurling the _bolas_ at them without bringing down +more than one bird. My proceedings were no doubt watched with +amusement by the people of the estancia house, who were often sitting +out of doors at the everlasting mate-drinking; and perhaps Don +Anastacio did not like it, as he was, I imagine, something of a St. +Francis with regard to the lower animals. He certainly loved his +abominable pigs. At all events on the last day of my vain efforts to +procure golden plover, a big, bearded gaucho, with hat stuck on the +back of his head, rode forth from the house on a large horse, and was +passing at a distance of about fifty yards when he all at once +stopped, and turning came at a gallop to within a few feet of me and +shouted in a loud voice: "Why do you come here, English boy, +frightening and chasing away God's little birds? Don't you know that +they do no harm to any one, and it is wrong to hurt them?" And with +that he galloped off. + +I was angry at being rebuked by an ignorant ruffianly gaucho, who like +most of his kind would tell lies, gamble, cheat, fight, steal, and do +other naughty things without a qualm. Besides, it struck me as funny +to hear the golden plover, which I wanted for the table, called "God's +little birds," just as if they were wrens or swallows or humming- +birds, or the darling little many-coloured kinglet of the bulrush +beds. But I was ashamed, too, and gave up the chase. + +The nearest of the moist green low-lying spots I have described as +lying south of us, between our house and Canada Seca, was not more +than twenty minutes' walk from the gate. It was a flat, oval-shaped +area of about fifty acres, and kept its vivid green colour and +freshness when in January the surrounding land was all of a rusty +brown colour. It was to us a delightful spot to run about and play on, +and though the golden plover did not come there it was haunted during +the summer by small flocks of the pretty buff-coloured sandpiper, a +sandpiper with the habits of a plover, one, too, which breeds in the +arctic regions and spends half the year in southern South America. +This green area would become flooded after heavy rains. It was then +like a vast lake to us, although the water was not more than about +three feet deep, and at such times it was infested with the big +venomous toad-like creature called _escuerzo_ in the vernacular, which +simply means toad, but naturalists have placed it in quite a different +family of the batrachians and call it _Ceratophrys ornata_ It is toad- +like in form but more lumpish, with a bigger head; it is big as a +man's fist, of a vivid green with black symmetrical markings on its +back, and primrose-yellow beneath. A dreadful looking creature, a toad +that preys on the real or common toads, swallowing them alive just as +the hamadryad swallows other serpents, venomous or not, and as the +Cribo of Martinique, a big non-venomous serpent, kills and swallows +the deadly fer-de-lance. + +In summer we had no fear of this creature, as it buries itself in the +soil and aestivates during the hot, dry season, and comes forth in wet +weather. I never knew any spot where these creatures were more +abundant than in that winter lake of ours, and at night in the flooded +time we used to lie awake listening to their concerts. The +_Ceratophrys_ croaks when angry, and as it is the most truculent +of all batrachians it works itself into a rage if you go near it. Its +first efforts at chanting or singing sounds like the deep, harsh, +anger-croak prolonged, but as the time goes on they gradually acquire, +night by night, a less raucous and a louder, more sustained and far- +reaching sound. There was always very great variety in the tones; and +while some continued deep and harsh--the harshest sound in nature-- +others were clearer and not unmusical; and in a large number there +were always a few in the scattered choir that out-soared all the +others in high, long-drawn notes, almost organ-like in quality. + +Listening to their varied performance one night as we lay in bed, my +sporting brother proposed that on the following morning we should drag +one of the cattle-troughs to the lake to launch it and go on a voyage +in quest of these dangerous, hateful creatures and slay them with our +javelins. It was not an impossible scheme, since the creatures were to +be seen at this season swimming or floating on the surface, and in our +boat or canoe we should also detect them as they moved about over the +green sward at the bottom. + +Accordingly, next morning after breakfast we set out, without +imparting our plans to any one, and with great labour dragged the +trough to the water. It was a box-shaped thing, about twenty feet long +and two feet wide at the bottom and three at the top. We were also +provided with three javelins, one for each of us, from my brother's +extensive armoury. + +He had about that time been reading ancient history, and fired with +the story of old wars when men fought hand to hand, he had dropped +guns and pistols for the moment and set himself with furious zeal to +manufacture the ancient weapons--bows and arrows, pikes, shield, +battle-axes and javelins. These last were sticks about six feet long, +nicely made of pine-wood--he had no doubt bribed the carpenter to make +them for him--and pointed with old knife-blades six or seven inches +long, ground to a fearful sharpness. Such formidable weapons were not +required for our purpose: they would have served well enough if we had +been going out against Don Anastacio's fierce and powerful swine; but +it was his order, and to his wild and warlike imagination the toad- +like creatures were the warriors of some hostile tribe opposing us, I +forget if in Asia or Africa, which had to be conquered and extirpated. + +No sooner had we got into our long, awkwardly-shaped boat than it +capsized and threw us all into the water; that was but the first of +some dozens of upsets and fresh drenchings we experienced during the +day. However, we succeeded in circumnavigating the lake and crossing +it two or three times from side to side, and in slaying seventy or +eighty of the enemy with our javelins. + +At length, when the short, mid-winter day was in its decline, and we +were all feeling stiff and cold and half-famished, our commander +thought proper to bring the great lake battle, with awful slaughter of +our barbarian foes, to an end, and we wearily trudged home in our +soaking clothes and squeaking shoes. We were too tired to pay much +heed to the little sermon we had expected, and glad to get into dry +clothes and sit down to food and tea. Then to sit by the fire as close +as we could get to it, until we all began to sneeze and to feel our +throats getting sore and our faces burning hot. And, finally, when we +went burning and shivering with cold to bed we could not sleep; and +hark! the grand nightly chorus was going on just as usual. No, in +spite of the great slaughter we had not exterminated the enemy; on the +contrary, they appeared to be rejoicing over a great victory, +especially when high above the deep harsh notes the long-drawn, organ- +like sounds of the leaders were heard. + +How I then wished, when tossing and burning feverishly in bed, that I +had rebelled and refused to take part in that day's adventure! I was +too young for it, and again and again, when thrusting one of the +creatures through with my javeline, I had experienced a horrible +disgust and shrinking at the spectacle. Now in my wakeful hours, with +that tremendous chanting in my ears, it all came back to me and was +like a nightmare. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +A PATRIARCH OF THE PAMPAS + +The grand old man of the plains--Don Evaristo Penalva, the Patriarch-- +My first sight of his estancia house--Don Evaristo described--A +husband of six wives--How he was esteemed and loved by every one--On +leaving home I lose sight of Don Evaristo--I meet him again after +seven years--His failing health--His old first wife and her daughter, +Cipriana--The tragedy of Cipriana--Don Evaristo dies and I lose sight +of the family. + + + +Patriarchs were fairly common in the land of my nativity: grave, +dignified old men with imposing beards, owners of land and cattle and +many horses, though many of them could not spell their own names; +handsome too, some of them with regular features, descendants of good +old Spanish families who colonized the wide pampas in the seventeenth +and early eighteenth centuries. I do not think I have got one of this +sort in the preceding chapters which treat of our neighbours, unless +it be Don Anastacio Buenavida of the corkscrew curls and quaint taste +in pigs. Certainly he was of the old landowning class, and in his +refined features and delicate little hands and feet gave evidence of +good blood, but the marks of degeneration were equally plain; he was +an effeminate, futile person, and not properly to be ranked with the +patriarchs. His ugly grotesque neighbour of the piebald horses was +more like one. I described the people that lived nearest to us, our +next-door neighbours so to speak, because I knew them from childhood +and followed their fortunes when I grew up, and was thus able to give +their complete history. The patriarchs, the grand old gaucho +estancieros, I came to know, were scattered all over the land, but, +with one exception, I did not know them intimately from childhood, and +though I could fill this chapter with their portraits I prefer to give +it all to the one I knew best, Don Evaristo Penalva, a very fine +patriarch indeed. + +I cannot now remember when I first made his acquaintance, but I was +not quite six, though very near it, when I had my first view of his +house. In the chapter on "Some Early Bird Adventures," I have +described my first long walk on the plains, when two of my brothers +took me to a river some distance from home, where I was enchanted with +my first sight of that glorious waterfowl, the flamingo. Now, as we +stood on the brink of the flowing water, which had a width of about +two hundred yards at that spot when the river had overflowed its +banks, one of my elder brothers pointed to a long low house, thatched +with rushes, about three-quarters of a mile distant on the other side +of the stream, and informed me that it was the estancia house of Don +Evaristo Penalva, who was one of the principal landowners in that +part. + +That was one of the images my mind received on that adventurous day +which have not faded--the long, low, mud built house, standing on the +wide, empty, treeless plain, with three ancient, half-dead, crooked +acacia trees growing close to it, and a little further away a corral +or cattle-enclosure and a sheep-fold. It was a poor, naked, dreary- +looking house without garden or shade, and I dare say a little English +boy six years old would have smiled, a little incredulous, to be told +that it was the residence of one of the principal land-owners in that +part. + +Then, as we have seen, I got my horse, and being delivered from the +fear of evil-minded cows with long, sharp horns, I spent a good deal +of my time on the plain, where I made the acquaintance of other small +boys on horseback, who took me to their homes and introduced me to +their people. In this way I came to be a visitor to that lonely- +looking house on the other side of the river, and to know all the +interesting people in it, including Don Evaristo himself, its lord and +master. He was a middle-aged man at that date, of medium height, very +white-skinned, with long black hair and full beard, straight nose, +fine broad forehead, with large dark eyes. He was slow and deliberate +in all his movements, grave, dignified, and ceremonious in his manner +and speech; but in spite of this lofty air he was known to have a +sweet and gentle disposition and was friendly towards every one, even +to small boys who are naturally naughty and a nuisance to their +elders. And so it came about that even as a very small shy boy, a +stranger in the house, I came to know that Don Evaristo was not one to +be afraid of. + +I hope that the reader, forgetting all he has learnt about the +domestic life of the patriarchs of an older time, will not begin to +feel disgusted at Don Evaristo when I proceed to say that he was the +husband of six wives, all living with him at that same house. The +first, the only one he had been permitted to marry in a church, was +old as or rather older than himself; she was very dark and was getting +wrinkles, and was the mother of several grown-up sons and daughters, +some married. The others were of various ages, the youngest two about +thirty; and these were twin sisters, both named Ascension, for they +were both born on Ascension Day. So much alike were these Ascensions +in face and figure that one day, when I was a big boy, I went into the +house and finding one of the sisters there began relating something, +when she was called out. Presently she came back, as I thought, and I +went on with my story just where I had left off, and only when I saw +the look of surprise and inquiry on her face did I discover that I was +now talking to the other sister. + +How was this man with six wives regarded by his neighbours? He was +esteemed and beloved above most men in his position. If any person was +in trouble or distress, or suffering from a wound or some secret +malady, he would go to Don Evaristo for advice and assistance and for +such remedies as he knew; and if he was sick unto death he would send +for Don Evaristo to come to him to write down his last will and +testament. For Don Evaristo knew his letters and had the reputation of +a learned man among the gauchos. They considered him better than any +one calling himself a doctor. I remember that his cure for shingles, a +common and dangerous ailment in that region, was regarded as +infallible. The malady took the form of an eruption, like erysipelas, +on the middle of the body and extending round the waist till it formed +a perfect zone. "If the zone is not complete I can cure the disease," +Don Evaristo would say. He would send some one down to the river to +procure a good-sized toad, then causing the patient to strip, he would +take pen and ink and write on the skin in the space between the two +ends of the inflamed region, in stout letters, the words, _In the +name of the Father_, etc. This done, he would take the toad in his +hand and gently rub it on the inflamed part, and the toad, enraged at +such treatment, would swell himself up almost to bursting and exude a +poisonous milky secretion from his warty skin. That was all, and the +man got well! + +If it pleased such a man as that to have six wives instead of one it +was right and proper for him to have them; no person would presume to +say that he was not a good and wise and religious man on that account. +It may be added that Don Evaristo, like Henry VIII, who also had six +wives, was a strictly virtuous man. The only difference was that when +he desired a fresh wife he did not barbarously execute or put away the +one, or the others, he already possessed. + +I lost sight of Don Evaristo when I was sixteen, having gone to live +in another district about thirty miles from my old home. He was then +just at the end of the middle period of life, with a few grey hairs +beginning to show in his black beard, but he was still a strong man +and more children were being added to his numerous family. Some time +later I heard that he had acquired a second estate a long day's +journey on horseback from the first, and that some of his wives and +children had emigrated to the new esctancia and that he divided his +time between the two establishments. But his people were not wholly +separated from each other; from time to time some of them would take +the long journey to visit the absent ones and there would be an +exchange of homes between them. For, incredible as it may seem, they +were in spirit, or appeared to be, a united family. + +Seven years had passed since I lost sight of them, when it chanced +that I was travelling home from the southern frontier, with only two +horses to carry me. One gave out, and I was compelled to leave him on +the road. I put up that evening at a little wayside pulperia, or +public-house, and was hospitably entertained by the landlord, who +turned out to be an Englishman. But he had lived so long among the +gauchos, having left his country when very young, that he had almost +forgotten his own language. Again and again during the evening he +started talking in English as if glad of the opportunity to speak his +native tongue once more; but after a sentence or two a word wanted +would not come, and it would have to be spoken in Spanish, and +gradually he would relapse into unadulterated Spanish again, then, +becoming conscious of the relapse, he would make a fresh start in +English. + +As we sat talking after supper I expressed my intention of leaving +early in the morning so as to get over a few leagues while it was +fresh, as the weather was very hot and I had to consider my one horse. +He was sorry not to be able to provide me with another, but at one of +the large estancias I would come to next morning I would no doubt be +able to get one. He then mentioned that in about an hour and a half or +two hours I should arrive at an estancia named La Paja Brava, where +many riding-horses were kept. + +This was good news indeed! La Paja Brava was the name of the estate my +ancient friend and neighbour, Don Evaristo, had bought so many years +before: no doubt I should find some of the family, and they would give +me a horse and anything I wanted. + +The house, when I approached it next morning, strongly reminded me of +the old home of the family many leagues away, only it was if possible +more lonely and dreary in appearance, without even an old half-dead +acacia tree to make it less desolate. The plain all round as far as +one could see was absolutely flat and treeless, the short grass burnt +by the January sun to a yellowish-brown colour; while at the large +watering-well, half a mile distant, the cattle were gathering in vast +numbers, bellowing with thirst and raising clouds of dust in their +struggles to get to the trough. + +I found Don Evaristo himself in the house, and with him his first and +oldest wife, with several of the grown-up children. I was grieved to +see the change in my old friend; he had aged greatly in seven years; +his face was now white as alabaster, and his full beard and long hair +quite grey. He was suffering from some internal malady, and spent most +of the day in the large kitchen and living-room, resting in an easy- +chair. The fire burnt all day in the hearth in the middle of the clay +floor, and the women served mate and did their work in a quiet way, +talking the while; and all day long the young men and big boys came +and went, coming in, one or two at a time, to sip mate, smoke, and +tell the news--the state of the well, the time the water would last, +the condition of the cattle, of horses strayed, and so on. + +The old first wife had also aged--her whole dark, anxious face had +been covered with little interlacing wrinkles; but the greatest change +was in the eldest child, her daughter Cipriana, who was living +permanently at La Paja Brava. The old mother had a dash of dark or +negrine blood in her veins, and this strain came out strongly in the +daughter, a tall woman with lustreless crinkled hair of a wrought-iron +colour, large voluptuous mouth, pale dark skin, and large dark sad +eyes. + +I remembered that they had not always been sad, for I had known her in +her full bloom--an imposing woman, her eyes sparkling with intense +fire and passion, who, despite her coarse features and dark skin, had +a kind of strange wild beauty which attracted men. Unhappily she +placed her affections on the wrong person, a dashing young gaucho who, +albeit landless and poor in cattle, made a brave appearance, +especially when mounted and when man and horse glittered with silver +ornaments. I recalled how one of my last sights of her had been on a +Sunday morning in summer when I had ridden to a spot on the plain +where it was overgrown with giant thistles, standing about ten feet +high, in full flower and filling the hot air with their perfume. +There, in a small open grassy space I had dismounted to watch a hawk, +in hopes of finding its nest concealed somewhere among the thistles +close by. And presently two persons came at a swift gallop by the +narrow path through the thistles, and bursting out into that small +open spot I saw that it was Cipriana, in a white dress, on a big bay +horse, and her lover, who was leading the way. Catching sight of me +they threw me a "Good morning" and galloped on, laughing gaily at the +unexpected encounter. I thought that in her white dress, with the hot +sun shining on her, her face flushed with excitement, on her big +spirited horse, she looked splendid that morning. + +But she gave herself too freely to her lover, and by and by there was +a difference, and he rode away to return no more. It was hard for her +then to face her neighbours, and eventually she went away with her +mother to live at the new estancia; but even now at this distance of +time it is a pain to remember her when her image comes back to my mind +as I saw her on that chance visit to La Paja Brava. + +Every evening during my stay, after mate had been served and there was +a long vacant interval before night, she would go out from the gate to +a distance of fifty or sixty yards, where an old log was lying on a +piece of waste ground overgrown with nettles, burdock, and redweed, +now dead and brown, and sitting on the log, her chin resting on her +hand, she would fix her eyes on the dusty road half a mile away, and +motionless in that dejected attitude she would remain for about an +hour. When you looked closely at her you could see her lips moving, +and if you came quite near her you could hear her talking in a very +low voice, but she would not lift her gaze from the road nor seem to +be aware of your presence. The fit or dream over, she would get up and +return to the house, where she would quietly set to work with the +other women in preparing the great meal of the day--the late supper of +roast and boiled meat, when all the men would be back from their work +with the cattle. + +That was my last sight of Cipriana; what her end was I never heard, +nor what was done with the Paja Brava after the death of Don Evaristo, +who was gathered to his fathers a year or so after my visit. I only +know that the old place where as a child I first knew him, where his +cattle and horses grazed and the stream where they were watered was +alive with herons and spoonbills, black-necked swans, glossy ibises in +clouds, and great blue ibises with resounding voices, is now possessed +by aliens, who destroy all wild bird life and grow corn on the land +for the markets of Europe. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +THE DOVECOTE + +A favourite climbing tree--The desire to fly--Soaring birds--A +peregrine falcon--The dovecote and pigeon-pies--The falcon's +depredations--A splendid aerial feat--A secret enemy of the dovecote-- +A short-eared owl in a loft--My father and birds--A strange flower-- +The owls' nesting-place--Great owl visitations. + + + +By the side of the moat at the far end of the enclosed ground there +grew a big red willow, the tree already mentioned in a former chapter +as the second largest in the plantation. It had a thick round trunk, +wide-spreading horizontal branches, and rough bark. In its shape, when +the thin foliage was gone, it was more like an old oak than a red +willow. This was my favourite tree when I had once mastered the +difficult and dangerous art of climbing. It was farthest from the +house of all the trees, on a waste weedy spot which no one else +visited, and this made it an ideal place for me, and whenever I was in +the wild arboreal mood I would climb the willow to find a good stout +branch high up on which to spend an hour, with a good view of the wide +green plain before me and the sight of grazing flocks and herds, and +of houses and poplar groves looking blue in the distance. Here, too, +in this tree, I first felt the desire for wings, to dream of the +delight it would be to circle upwards to a great height and float on +the air without effort, like the gull and buzzard and harrier and +other great soaring land and water birds. But from the time this +notion and desire began to affect me I envied most the great crested +screamer, an inhabitant then of all the marshes in our vicinity. For +here was a bird as big or bigger than a goose, as heavy almost as I +was myself, who, when he wished to fly, rose off the ground with +tremendous labour, and then as he got higher and higher flew more and +more easily, until he rose so high that he looked no bigger than a +lark or pipit, and at that height he would continue floating round and +round in vast circles for hours, pouring out those jubilant cries at +intervals which sounded to us so far below like clarion notes in the +sky. If I could only get off the ground like that heavy bird and rise +as high, then the blue air would make me as buoyant and let me float +all day without pain or effort like the bird! This desire has +continued with me through my life, yet I have never wished to fly in a +balloon or airship, since I should then be tied to a machine and have +no will or soul of my own. The desire has only been gratified a very +few times in that kind of dream called levitation, when one rises and +floats above the earth without effort and is like a ball of +thistledown carried by the wind. + +My favourite red willow was also the chosen haunt of another being, a +peregrine falcon, a large handsome female that used to spend some +months each year with us, and would sit for hours every day in the +tree. It was an ideal tree for the falcon, too, not only because it +was a quiet spot where it could doze the hot hours away in safety, but +also on account of the numbers of pigeons we used to keep. The pigeon- +house, a round, tower-shaped building, whitewashed outside, with a +small door always kept locked, was usually tenanted by four or five +hundred birds. These cost us nothing to keep, and were never fed, as +they picked up their own living on the plain, and being strong fliers +and well used to the dangers of the open country abounding in hawks, +they ranged far from home, going out in small parties of a dozen or +more to their various distant feeding-grounds. When out riding we used +to come on these flocks several miles from home, and knew they were +our birds since no one else in that neighbourhood kept pigeons. They +were highly valued, especially by my father, who preferred a broiled +pigeon to mutton cutlets for breakfast, and was also fond of pigeon- +pies. Once or twice every week, according to the season, eighteen or +twenty young birds, just ready to leave the nest, were taken from the +dovecote to be put into a pie of gigantic size, and this was usually +the grandest dish on the table when we had a lot of people to dinner +or supper. + +Every day the falcon, during the months she spent with us, took toll +of the pigeons, and though these depredations annoyed my father he did +nothing to stop them. He appeared to think that one or two birds a day +didn't matter much as the birds were so many. The falcon's custom was, +after dozing a few hours in the willow, to fly up and circle high in +the air above the buildings, whereupon the pigeons, losing their heads +in their terror, would rush up in a cloud to escape their deadly +enemy. This was exactly what their enemy wanted them to do, and no +sooner would they rise to the proper height than she would make her +swoop, and singling out her victim strike it down with a blow of her +lacerating claws; down like a stone it would fall, and the hawk, after +a moment's pause in mid-air, would drop down after it and catch it in +her talons before it touched the tree-tops, then carry it away to feed +on at leisure out on the plain. It was a magnificent spectacle, and +although witnessed so often it always greatly excited me. + +One day my father went to the _galpon_, the big barn-like building +used for storing wood, hides, and horse-hair, and seeing him go up the +ladder I climbed up after him. It was an immense vacant place +containing nothing but a number of empty cases on one side of the +floor and empty flour-barrels, standing upright, on the other. My +father began walking about among the cases, and by and by called me to +look at a young pigeon, apparently just killed, which he had found in +one of the empty boxes. Now, how came it to be there? he asked. Rats, +no doubt, but how strange and almost incredible it seemed that a rat, +however big, had been able to scale the pigeon-house, kill a pigeon +and drag it back a distance of twenty-five yards, then mount with it +to the loft, and after all that labour to leave it uneaten! The wonder +grew when he began to find more young pigeons, all young birds almost +of an age to have left the nest, and only one or two out of half a +dozen with any flesh eaten. + +Here was an enemy to the dovecote who went about at night and did his +killing quietly, unseen by any one, and was ten times more destructive +than the falcon, who killed her adult old pigeon daily in sight of all +the world and in a magnificent way! + +I left him pondering over the mystery, gradually working himself up +into a rage against rats, and went off to explore among the empty +barrels standing upright on the other side of the loft. + +"Another pigeon!" I shouted presently, filled with pride at the +discovery and fishing the bird up from the bottom. He came over to me +and began to examine the dead bird, his wrath still increasing; then I +shouted gleefully again, "Another pigeon!" and altogether I shouted +"Another pigeon!" about five times, and by that time he was in a quite +furious temper. "Rats--rats!" he exclaimed, "killing all these pigeons +and dragging them up here just to put them away in empty barrels--who +ever heard of such a thing!" No stronger language did he use. Like the +vicar's wonderfully sober-minded daughter, as described by Marjory +Fleming, "he never said a single dam," for that was the sort of man he +was, but he went back fuming to his boxes. + +Meanwhile I continued my investigations, and by and by, peering into +an empty barrel received one of the greatest shocks I had ever +experienced. Down at the bottom of the barrel was a big brown-and- +yellow mottled owl, one of a kind I had never seen, standing with its +claws grasping a dead pigeon and its face turned up in alarm at mine. +What a face it was!--a round grey disc, with black lines like spokes +radiating from the centre, where the beak was, and the two wide-open +staring orange-coloured eyes, the wheel-like head surmounted by a pair +of ear-or horn-like black feathers! For a few moments we stared at one +another, then recovering myself I shouted, "Father--an owl!" For +although I had never seen its like before I knew it was an owl. Not +until that moment had I known any owl except the common burrowing-owl +of the plain, a small grey-and-white bird, half diurnal in its habits, +with a pretty dove-like voice when it hooted round the house of an +evening. + +In a few moments my father came running over to my side, an iron bar +in his hand, and looking into the barrel began a furious assault on +the bird. "This then is the culprit!" he cried. "This is the rat that +has been destroying my birds by the score! Now he's going to pay for +it;" and so on, striking down with the bar while the bird struggled +frantically to rise and make its escape; but in the end it was killed +and thrown out on the floor. + +That was the first and only time I saw my father kill a bird, and +nothing but his extreme anger against the robber of his precious +pigeons would have made him do a thing so contrary to his nature. He +was quite willing to have birds killed--young pigeons, wild ducks, +plover, snipe, whimbrel, tinamou or partridge, and various others +which he liked to eat--but the killing always had to be done by +others. He hated to see any bird killed that was not for the table, +and that was why he tolerated the falcon, and even allowed a pair of +_caranchos_, or carrion-eagles--birds destructive to poultry, and +killers when they got the chance of newly-born lambs and sucking- +pigs--to have their huge nest in one of the old peach-trees for +several years. I never saw him angrier than once when a visitor +staying in the house, going out with his gun one day suddenly threw it +up to his shoulder and brought down a passing swallow. + +That was my first encounter with the short-eared owl, a world- +wandering species, known familiarly to the sportsman in England as the +October or woodcock owl; an inhabitant of the whole of Europe, also of +Asia, Africa, America, Australasia, and many Atlantic and Pacific +islands. No other bird has so vast a range; yet nobody in the house +could tell me anything about it, excepting that it was an owl, which I +knew, and no such bird was found in our neighbourhood. Several months +later I found out more about it, and this was when I began to ramble +about the plain on my pony. + +One of the most attractive spots to me at that time, when my +expeditions were not yet very extended, was a low-lying moist stretch +of ground about a mile and a half from home, where on account of the +moisture it was always a vivid green. In spring it was like a moist +meadow in England, a perfect garden of wild flowers, and as it was +liable to become flooded in wet winters it was avoided by the +_vizcachas_, the big rodents that make their warrens or villages +of huge burrows all over the plain. Here I used to go in quest of the +most charming flowers which were not found in other places; one, a +special favourite on account of its delicious fragrance, being the +small lily called by the natives _Lagrimas de la Virgin_--Tears +of the Virgin. Here at one spot the ground to the extent of an acre or +so was occupied by one plant of a peculiar appearance, to the complete +exclusion of the tall grasses and herbage in other parts. It grew in +little tussocks like bushes, each plant composed of twenty or thirty +stalks of a woody toughness and about two and a half feet high. The +stems were thickly clothed with round leaves, soft as velvet to the +touch and so dark a green that at a little distance they looked almost +black against the bright green of the moist turf. Their beauty was in +the blossoming season, when every stem produced its dozen or more +flowers growing singly among the leaves, in size and shape like dog- +roses, the petals of the purest, loveliest yellow. As the flowers grew +close to the stalk, to gather them it was necessary to cut the stalk +at the root with all its leaves and flowers, and this I sometimes did +to take it to my mother, who had a great love of wild flowers. But no +sooner would I start with a bunch of flowering stalks in my hand than +the lovely delicate petals would begin to drop off, and before I was +half way home there would not be a petal left. This extreme frailty or +sensitiveness used to infect me with the notion that this flower was +something more than a mere flower, something like a sentient being, +and that it had a feeling in it which caused it to drop its shining +petals and perish when removed from its parent root and home. + +One day in the plant's blossoming time, I was slowly walking my pony +through the dark bottle-green tufts, when a big yellowish-tawny owl +got up a yard or so from the hoofs, and I instantly recognized it as +the same sort of bird as our mysterious pigeon-killer. And there on +the ground where it had been was its nest, just a slight depression +with a few dry bents by way of lining and five round white eggs. From +that time I was a frequent visitor to the owls, and for three summers +they bred at the same spot in spite of the anxiety they suffered on my +account, and I saw and grew familiar with their quaint-looking young, +clothed in white down and with long narrow pointed heads more like the +heads of aquatic birds than of round-headed flat-faced owls. + +Later, I became even better acquainted with the short-eared owl. A +year or several years would sometimes pass without one being seen, +then all at once they would come in numbers, and this was always when +there had been a great increase in field mice and other small rodents, +and the owl population all over the country had in some mysterious way +become aware of the abundance and had come to get their share of it. +At these times you could see the owls abroad in the late afternoon, +before sunset, in quest of prey, quartering the ground like harriers, +and dropping suddenly into the grass at intervals, while at dark the +air resounded with their solemn hooting, a sound as of a deep-voiced +mastiff baying at a great distance. + +As I have mentioned our famous pigeon-pies, when describing the +dovecote, I may as well conclude this chapter with a fuller account of +our way of living as to food, a fascinating subject to most persons. +The psychologists tell us a sad truth when they say that taste, being +the lowest or least intellectual of our five senses, is incapable of +registering impressions on the mind; consequently we cannot recall or +recover vanished flavours as we can recover, and mentally see and +hear, long past sights and sounds. Smells, too, when we cease +smelling, vanish and return not, only we remember that blossoming +orange grove where we once walked, and beds of wild thyme and penny- +royal when we sat on the grass, also flowering bean and lucerne +fields, filled and fed us, body and soul, with delicious perfumes. In +like manner we can recollect the good things we consumed long years +ago--the things we cannot eat now because we are no longer capable of +digesting and assimilating them; it is like recalling past perilous +adventures by land and water in the brave young days when we loved +danger for its own sake. There was, for example, the salad of cold +sliced potatoes and onions, drenched in oil and vinegar, a glorious +dish with cold meat to go to bed on! Also hot maize-meal cakes eaten +with syrup at breakfast, and other injudicious cakes. As a rule it was +a hot breakfast and midday dinner; an afternoon tea, with hot bread +and scones and peach-preserve, and a late cold supper. For breakfast, +mutton cutlets, coffee, and things made with maize. Eggs were +plentiful--eggs of fowl, duck, goose, and wild fowl's eggs--wild duck +and plover in their season. In spring--August to October--we +occasionally had an ostrich or rhea's egg in the form of a huge +omelette at breakfast, and it was very good. The common native way of +cooking it by thrusting a rod heated red through the egg, then burying +it in the hot ashes to complete the cooking, did not commend itself to +us. From the end of July to the end of September we feasted on +plovers' eggs at breakfast. In appearance and taste they were +precisely like our lapwings' eggs, only larger, the Argentine lapwing +being a bigger bird than its European cousin. In those distant days +the birds were excessively abundant all over the pampas where sheep +were pastured, for at that time there were few to shoot wild birds and +nobody ever thought of killing a lapwing for the table. The country +had not then been overrun by bird-destroying immigrants from Europe, +especially by Italians. Outside of the sheep zone in the exclusively +cattle-raising country, where the rough pampas grasses and herbage had +not been eaten down, the plover were sparsely distributed. + +I remember that one day, when I was thirteen, I went out one morning +after breakfast to look for plovers' eggs, just at the beginning of +the laying season when all the eggs one found were practically new- +laid. My plan was that of the native boys, to go at a fast gallop over +the plain and mark the spot far ahead where a lapwing was seen to rise +and fly straight away to some distance. For this method some training +is necessary to success, as in many cases more birds than one-- +sometimes as many as three or four--would be seen to rise at various +points and distances, and one had to mark and keep in memory the exact +spots to visit them successively and find the nests. The English +method of going out and quartering the ground in search of a nest in +likely places where the birds breed was too slow for us. + +The nests I found that morning contained one or two and sometimes +three eggs--very rarely the full clutch of four. Before midday I had +got back with a bag of sixty-four eggs; and that was the largest +number I ever gathered at one time. + +Our dinner consisted of meat and pumpkin, boiled or baked, maize "in +the milk" in its season and sweet potatoes, besides the other common +vegetables and salads. Maize-meal puddings and pumpkin pies and tarts +were common with us, but the sweet we loved best was a peach-pie, made +like an apple-pie with a crust, and these came in about the middle of +February and lasted until April or even May, when our late variety, +which we called "winter peach," ripened. + +My mother was a clever and thrifty housekeeper, and I think she made +more of the peach than any other resident in the country who possessed +an orchard. Her peach preserves, which lasted us the year round, were +celebrated in our neighbourhood. Peach preserves were in most English +houses, but our house was alone in making pickled peaches: I think +this was an invention of her own; I do not know if it has taken on, +but we always had pickled peaches on the table and preferred them to +all other kinds, and so did every person who tasted them. + +I here recall an amusing incident with regard to our pickled peaches, +and will relate it just because it serves to bring in yet another of +our old native neighbours. I never thought of him when describing the +others, as he was not so near us and we saw little of him and his +people. His name was Bentura Gutierres, and he called himself an +estanciero--a landowner and head of a cattle establishment; but there +was very little land left and practically no cattle--only a few cows, +a few sheep, a few horses. His estate had been long crumbling away and +there was hardly anything left; but he was a brave spirit and had a +genial, breezy manner, and dressed well in the European mode, with +trousers and coat and waistcoat--this last garment being of satin and +a very bright blue. And he talked incessantly of his possessions: his +house, his trees, his animals, his wife and daughters. And he was +immensely popular in the neighbourhood, no doubt because he was the +father of four rather good-looking, marriageable girls; and as he kept +open house his kitchen was always full of visitors, mostly young men, +who sipped mate by the hour, and made themselves agreeable to the +girls. + +One of Don Ventura's most delightful traits--that is, to us young +people--was his loud voice. I think it was a convention in those days +for estancieros or cattlemen to raise their voices according to their +importance in the community. When several gauchos are galloping over +the plain, chasing horses, hunting or marking cattle, the one who is +head of the gang shouts his directions at the top of his voice. +Probably in this way the habit of shouting at all times by landowners +and persons in authority had been acquired. And so it pleased us very +much when Don Ventura came one evening to see my father and consented +to sit down to partake of supper with us. We loved to listen to his +shouted conversation. + +My parents apologized for having nothing but cold meats to put before +him--cold shoulder of mutton, a bird, and pickles, cold pie and so on. +True, he replied, cold meat is never or rarely eaten by man on the +plains. People do have cold meat in the house, but that as a rule is +where there are children, for when a child is hungry, and cries for +food, his mother gives him a bone of cold meat, just as in other +countries where bread is common you give a child a piece of bread. + +However, he would try cold meat for once. It looked to him as if there +were other things to eat on the table. "And what is this?" he shouted, +pointing dramatically at a dish of large, very green-looking pickled +peaches. Peaches--peaches in winter! This is strange indeed! + +It was explained to him that they were pickled peaches, and that it +was the custom of the house to have them on the table at supper. He +tried one with his cold mutton, and was presently assuring my parents +that never in his life had he partaken of anything so good--so tasty, +so appetizing, and whether or not it was because of the pickled +peaches, or some quality in our mutton which made it unlike all other +mutton, he had never enjoyed a meal as much. What he wanted to know +was how the thing was done. He was told that large, sound fruit, just +ripening, must be selected for pickling; when the finger dents a peach +it is too ripe. The selected peaches are washed and dried and put into +a cask, then boiling vinegar, with a handful of cloves is poured in +till it covers the fruit, the cask closed and left for a couple of +months, by which time the fruit would be properly pickled. Two or +three casks-full were prepared in this way each season and served us +for the entire year. + +It was a revelation, he said, and lamented that he and his people had +not this secret before. He, too, had a peach orchard, and when the +fruit ripened his family, assisted by all their neighbours, feasted +from morning till night on peaches, and hardly left room in their +stomachs for roast meat when it was dinner-time. The consequence was +that in a very few weeks--he could almost say days--the fruit was all +gone, and they had to say, "No more peaches for another twelve +months!" All that would now be changed. He would command his wife and +daughters to pickle peaches--a cask-full, or two or three if one would +not be enough. He would provide vinegar--many gallons of it, and +cloves by the handful. And when they had got their pickled peaches he +would have cold mutton for supper every day all the year round, and +enjoy his life as he had never done before! + +This amused us very much, as we knew that poor Don Ventura, +notwithstanding his loud commanding voice, had little or no authority +in his house; that it was ruled by his wife, assisted by a council of +four marriageable daughters, whose present objects in life were little +dances and other amusements, and lovers with courage enough to marry +them or carry them off. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +SERPENT AND CHILD + +My pleasure in bird life--Mammals at our new home--Snakes and how +children are taught to regard them--A colony of snakes in the house-- +Their hissing confabulations--Finding serpent sloughs--A serpent's +saviour--A brief history of our English neighbours, the Blakes. + + + +It is not an uncommon thing, I fancy, for a child or boy to be more +deeply impressed and stirred at the sight of a snake than of any other +creature. This at all events is my experience. Birds certainly gave me +more pleasure than other animals, and this too is no doubt common with +children, and I take the reason of it to be not only because birds +exceed in beauty, but also on account of the intensity of life they +exhibit--a life so vivid, so brilliant, as to make that of other +beings, such as reptiles and mammals, seem a rather poor thing by +comparison. But while birds were more than all other beings to me, +mammals too had a great attraction. I have already spoken of rats, +opossums, and armadillos; also of the vizcacha, the big burrowing +rodent that made his villages all over the plain. One of my early +experiences is of the tremendous outcry these animals would make at +night when suddenly startled by a very loud noise, as by a clap of +thunder. When we had visitors from town, especially persons new to the +country who did not know the vizcacha, they would be taken out after +supper, a little distance from the house, when the plain was all dark +and profoundly silent, and after standing still for a few minutes to +give them time to feel the silence, a gun would be discharged, and +after two or three seconds the report would be followed by an +extraordinary hullabaloo, a wild outcry of hundreds and thousands of +voices, from all over the plain for miles round, voices that seemed to +come from hundreds of different species of animals, so varied they +were, from the deepest booming sounds to the high shrieks and squeals +of shrill-voiced birds. Our visitors used to be filled with +astonishment. + +Another animal that impressed us deeply and painfully was the skunk. +They were fearless little beasts and in the evening would come quite +boldly about the house, and if seen and attacked by a dog, they would +defend themselves with the awful-smelling liquid they discharge at an +adversary. When the wind brought a whiff of it into the house, when +all the doors and windows stood open, it would create a panic, and +people would get up from table feeling a little sea-sick, and go in +search of some room where the smell was not. Another powerful-smelling +but very beautiful creature was the common deer. I began to know it +from the age of five, when we went to our new home, and where we +children were sometimes driven with our parents to visit some +neighbours several miles away. There were always herds of deer on the +lands where the cardoon thistle flourished most, and it was a delight +to come upon them and to see their yellow figures standing among the +grey-green cardoon bushes, gazing motionless at us, then turning and +rushing away with a whistling cry, and sending out gusts of their +powerful musky smell, which the wind sometimes brought to our +nostrils. + +But there was a something in the serpent which produced a quite +different and a stronger effect on the mind than bird or mammal or any +other creature. The sight of it was always startling, and however +often seen always produced a mixed sense of amazement and fear. The +feeling was no doubt acquired from our elders. They regarded snakes as +deadly creatures, and as a child I did not know that they were mostly +harmless, that it was just as senseless to kill them as to kill +harmless and beautiful birds. I was told that when I saw a snake I +must turn and run for my life until I was a little bigger, and then on +seeing a snake I was to get a long stick and kill it; and it was +furthermore impressed on me that snakes are exceedingly difficult to +kill, that many persons believe that a snake never really dies until +the sun sets, therefore when I killed a snake, in order to make it +powerless to do any harm between the time of killing it and sunset, it +was necessary to pound it to a pulp with the aforesaid long stick. + +With such teaching it was not strange that even as a small boy I +became a persecutor of snakes. + +Snakes were common enough about us; snakes of seven or eight different +kinds, green in the green grass, and yellow and dusky-mottled in dry +and barren places and in withered herbage, so that it was difficult to +detect them. Sometimes they intruded into the dwelling-rooms, and at +all seasons a nest or colony of snakes existed in the thick old +foundations of the house, and under the flooring. In winter they +hibernated there, tangled together in a cluster no doubt; and in +summer nights when they were at home, coiled at their ease or gliding +ghost-like about their subterranean apartments, I would lie awake and +listen to them by the hour. For although it may be news to some closet +ophiologists, serpents are not all so mute as we think them. At all +events this kind, the _Philodryas aestivus_--a beautiful and harmless +colubrine snake, two and a half to three feet long, marked all over +with inky black on a vivid green ground--not only emitted a sound when +lying undisturbed in his den, but several individuals would hold a +conversation together which seemed endless, for I generally fell +asleep before it finished. A hissing conversation it is true, but +not unmodulated or without considerable variety in it; a long +sibilation would be followed by distinctly-heard ticking sounds, as of +a husky-ticking clock, and after ten or twenty or thirty ticks another +hiss, like a long expiring sigh, sometimes with a tremble in it as of +a dry leaf swiftly vibrating in the wind. No sooner would one cease +than another would begin; and so it would go on, demand and response, +strophe and antistrope; and at intervals several voices would unite in +a kind of low mysterious chorus, death-watch and flutter and hiss; +while I, lying awake in my bed, listened and trembled. It was dark in +the room, and to my excited imagination the serpents were no longer +under the floor, but out, gliding hither and thither over it, with +uplifted heads in a kind of mystic dance; and I often shivered to +think what my bare feet might touch if I were to thrust a leg out and +let it hang down over the bedside. + +"I'm shut in a dark room with the candle blown out," pathetically +cried old Farmer Fleming, when he heard of his beautiful daughter +Dahlia's clandestine departure to a distant land with a nameless +lover. "I've heard of a sort of fear you have in that dilemma, lest +you should lay your fingers on edges of sharp knives, and if I think a +step--if I go thinking a step, and feel my way, I do cut myself, and I +bleed, I do." Only in a comparatively snakeless country could such +fancies be born and such metaphors used--snakeless and highly +civilized, where the blades of Sheffield are cheap and abundant. In +ruder lands, where ophidians abound, as in India and South America, in +the dark one fears the cold living coil and deadly sudden fang. + +Serpents were fearful things to me at that period; but whatsoever is +terrible and dangerous, or so reported, has an irresistible attraction +for the mind, whether of child or man; it was therefore always a +pleasure to have seen a snake in the day's rambles, although the sight +was a startling one. Also in the warm season it was a keen pleasure to +find the cast slough of the feared and subtle creature. Here was +something not the serpent, yet so much more than a mere picture of it; +a dead and cast-off part of it, but in its completeness, from the +segmented mask with the bright unseeing eyes, to the fine whip-like +tail end, so like the serpent itself; I could handle it, handle the +serpent as it were, yet be in no danger from venomous tooth or +stinging tongue. True, it was colourless, but silvery bright, soft as +satin to the touch, crinkling when handled with a sound that to the +startled fancy recalled the dangerous living hiss from the dry +rustling grass! I would clutch my prize with a fearful joy, as if I +had picked up a strange feather dropped in passing from the wing of +one of the fallen but still beautiful angels. And it always increased +my satisfaction when, on exhibiting my treasure at home, the first +sight of it caused a visible start or an exclamation of alarm. + +When my courage and strength were sufficient I naturally began to take +an active part in the persecution of serpents; for was not I also of +the seed of Eve? Nor can I say when my feelings towards our bruised +enemy began to change; but an incident which I witnessed at this time, +when I was about eight, had, I think, a considerable influence on me. +At all events it caused me to reflect on a subject which had not +previously seemed one for reflection. I was in the orchard, following +in the rear of a party of grown-up persons, mostly visitors to the +house; when among the foremost there were sudden screams, gestures of +alarm, and a precipitate retreat: a snake had been discovered lying in +the path and almost trodden upon. One of the men, the first to find a +stick or perhaps the most courageous, rushed to the front and was +about to deal a killing blow when his arm was seized by one of the +ladies and the blow arrested. Then, stooping quickly, she took the +creature up in her hands, and going away to some distance from the +others, released it in the long green grass, green in colour as its +glittering skin and as cool to the touch. Long ago as this happened it +is just as vivid to my mind as if it had happened yesterday. I can see +her coming back to us through the orchard trees, her face shining with +joy because she had rescued the reptile from imminent death, her +return greeted with loud expressions of horror and amazement, which +she only answered with a little laugh and the question, "Why should +you kill it?" But why was she glad, so innocently glad as it seemed to +me, as if she had done some meritorious and no evil thing? My young +mind was troubled at the question, and there was no answer. +Nevertheless, I think that this incident bore fruit later, and taught +me to consider whether it might not be better to spare than to kill; +better not only for the animal spared, but for the soul. + +And the woman who did this unusual thing and in doing it unknowingly +dropped a minute seed into a boy's mind, who was she? Perhaps it would +be as well to give a brief account of her, although I thought that I +had finished with the subject of our neighbours. She and her husband, +a man named Matthew Blake, were our second nearest English neighbours, +but they lived a good deal further than the Royds and were seldom +visited by us. To me there was nothing interesting in them and their +surroundings, as they had no family and no people but the native peons +about them, and, above all, no plantation where birds could be seen. +They were typical English people of the lower middle class, who read +no books and conversed, with considerable misuse of the aspirate, +about nothing but their own and their neighbours' affairs. Physically +Mr. Blake was a very big man, being six feet three in height and +powerfully built. He had a round ruddy face, clean-shaved except for a +pair of side-whiskers, and pale-blue shallow eyes. He was invariably +dressed in black cloth, his garments being home-made and too large for +him, the baggy trousers thrust into his long boots. Mr. Blake was +nothing to us but a huge, serious, somewhat silent man who took no +notice of small boys, and was clumsy and awkward and spoke very bad +Spanish. He was well spoken of by his neighbours, and was regarded as +a highly respectable and dignified person, but he had no intimates and +was one of those unfortunate persons, not rare among the English, who +appear to stand behind a high wall and, whether they desire it or not, +have no power to approach and mix with their fellow-beings. + +I think he was about forty-five to fifty years old when I was eight. +His wife looked older and was a short ungraceful woman with a stoop, +wearing a sun-bonnet and sack and a faded gown made by herself. Her +thin hair was of a yellowish-grey tint, her eyes pale blue, and there +was a sunburnt redness on her cheeks, but the face had a faded and +weary look. But she was better than her giant husband and was glad to +associate with her fellows, and was also a lover of animals--horses, +dogs, cats, and any and every wild creature that came in her way. + +The Blakes had been married a quarter of a century or longer and had +spent at least twenty years of their childless solitary life in a mud- +built ranch, sheep-farming on the pampas, and had slowly accumulated a +small fortune, until now they were possessed of about a square league +of land with 25,000 or 30,000 sheep, and had built themselves a big +ugly brick house to live in. They had thus secured the prize for which +they had gone so many thousands of miles and had toiled for so many +years, but they were certainly not happy. Poor Mr. Blake, cut off from +his fellow-creatures by that wall that stood before him, had found +companionship in the bottle, and was seen less and less of by his +neighbours; and when his wife came to us to spend two or three days +"for a change," although her home was only a couple of hours' ride +away, the reason probably was that her husband was in one of his bouts +and had made the place intolerable to her. I remember that she always +came to us with a sad, depressed look on her face, but after a few +hours she would recover her spirits and grow quite cheerful and +talkative. And of an evening when there was music she would sometimes +consent, after some persuasion, to give the company a song. That was a +joy to us youngsters, as she had a thin cracked voice that always at +the high notes went off into a falsetto. Her favourite air was "Home, +sweet Home," and her rendering in her wailing cracked voice was as +great a feast to us as the strange laugh of our grotesque neighbour +Gandara. + +And that is all I can say about her. But now when I remember that +episode of the snake in the orchard, she looks to me not unbeautiful +in memory, and her voice in the choir invisible sounds sweet enough. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +A SERPENT MYSTERY + +A new feeling about snakes--Common snakes of the country--A barren +weedy patch--Discovery of a large black snake--Watching for its +reappearance--Seen going to its den--The desire to see it again--A +vain search--Watching a bat--The black serpent reappears at my feet-- +Emotions and conjectures--Melanism--My baby sister and a strange +snake--The mystery solved. + + + +It was not until after the episode related in the last chapter and the +discovery that a serpent was not necessarily dangerous to human +beings, therefore a creature to be destroyed at sight and pounded to a +pulp lest it should survive and escape before sunset, that I began to +appreciate its unique beauty and singularity. Then, somewhat later, I +met with an adventure which produced another and a new feeling in me, +that sense of something supernatural in the serpent which appears to +have been universal among peoples in a primitive state of culture and +still survives in some barbarous or semi-barbarous countries, and in +others, like Hindustan, which have inherited an ancient civilization. + +The snakes I was familiar with as a boy up to this time were all of +comparatively small size, the largest being the snake-with-a-cross, +described in an early chapter. The biggest specimen I have ever found +of this ophidian was under four feet in length; but the body is thick, +as in all the pit vipers. Then, there was the green-and-black snake +described in the last chapter, an inhabitant of the house, which +seldom exceeded three feet; and another of the same genus, the most +common snake in the country. One seldom took a walk or ride on the +plain without seeing it. It was in size and shape like our common +grass-snake, and was formerly classed by naturalists in the same +genus, Coronella. It is quite beautiful, the pale greenish-grey body, +mottled with black, being decorated with two parallel bright red lines +extending from the neck to the tip of the fine-pointed tail. Of the +others the most interesting was a still smaller snake, brightly +coloured, the belly with alternate bands of crimson and bright blue. +This snake was regarded by every one as exceedingly venomous and most +dangerous on account of its irascible temper and habit of coming at +you and hissing loudly, its head and neck raised, and striking at your +legs. But this was all swagger on the snake's part: it was not +venomous at all, and could do no more harm by biting than a young dove +in its nest by puffing itself up and striking at an intrusive hand +with its soft beak. + +Then one day I came upon a snake quite unknown to me: I had never +heard of the existence of such a snake in our parts, and I imagine its +appearance would have strongly affected any one in any land, even in +those abounding in big snakes. The spot, too, in our plantation, where +I found it, served to make its singular appearance more impressive. + +There existed at that time a small piece of waste ground about half an +acre in extent, where there were no trees and where nothing planted by +man would grow. It was at the far end of the plantation, adjoining the +thicket of fennel and the big red willow tree on the edge of the moat +described in another chapter. This ground had been ploughed and dug up +again and again, and planted with trees and shrubs of various kinds +which were supposed to grow on any soil, but they had always +languished and died, and no wonder, since the soil was a hard white +clay resembling china clay. But although trees refused to grow there +it was always clothed in a vegetation of its own; all the hardiest +weeds were there, and covered the entire barren area to the depth of a +man's knees. These weeds had thin wiry stalks and small sickly leaves +and flowers, and would die each summer long before their time. This +barren piece of ground had a great attraction for me as a small boy, +and I visited it daily and would roam about it among the miserable +half-dead weeds with the sun-baked clay showing between the brown +stalks, as if it delighted me as much as the alfalfa field, blue and +fragrant in its flowering-time and swarming with butterflies. + +One hot day in December I had been standing perfectly still for a few +minutes among the dry weeds when a slight rustling sound came from +near my feet, and glancing down I saw the head and neck of a large +black serpent moving slowly past me. In a moment or two the flat head +was lost to sight among the close-growing weeds, but the long body +continued moving slowly by--so slowly that it hardly appeared to move, +and as the creature must have been not less than six feet long, and +probably more, it took a very long time, while I stood thrilled with +terror, not daring to make the slightest movement, gazing down upon +it. Although so long it was not a thick snake, and as it moved on over +the white ground it had the appearance of a coal-black current flowing +past me--a current not of water or other liquid but of some such +element as quicksilver moving on in a rope-like stream. At last it +vanished, and turning I fled from the ground, thinking that never +again would I venture into or near that frightfully dangerous spot in +spite of its fascination. + +Nevertheless I did venture. The image of that black mysterious serpent +was always in my mind from the moment of waking in the morning until I +fell asleep at night. Yet I never said a word about the snake to any +one: it was my secret, and I knew it was a dangerous secret, but I did +not want to be told not to visit that spot again. And I simply could +not keep away from it; the desire to look again at that strange being +was too strong. I began to visit the place again, day after day, and +would hang about the borders of the barren weedy ground watching and +listening, and still no black serpent appeared. Then one day I +ventured, though in fear and trembling, to go right in among the +weeds, and still finding nothing began to advance step by step until I +was right in the middle of the weedy ground and stood there a long +time, waiting and watching. All I wanted was just to see it once more, +and I had made up my mind that immediately on its appearance, if it +did appear, I would take to my heels. It was when standing in this +central spot that once again that slight rustling sound, like that of +a few days before, reached my straining sense and sent an icy chill +down my back. And there, within six inches of my toes, appeared the +black head and neck, followed by the long, seemingly endless body. I +dared not move, since to have attempted flight might have been fatal. +The weeds were thinnest here, and the black head and slow-moving black +coil could be followed by the eye for a little distance. About a yard +from me there was a hole in the ground about the circumference of a +breakfast-cup at the top, and into this hole the serpent put his head +and slowly, slowly drew himself in, while I stood waiting until the +whole body to the tip of the tail had vanished and all danger was +over. + +I had seen my wonderful creature, my black serpent unlike any serpent +in the land, and the excitement following the first thrill of terror +was still on me, but I was conscious of an element of delight in it, +and I would not now resolve not to visit the spot again. Still, I was +in fear, and kept away three or four days. Thinking about the snake I +formed the conclusion that the hole he had taken refuge in was his +den, where he lived, that he was often out roaming about in search of +prey, and could hear footsteps at a considerable distance, and that +when I walked about at that spot my footsteps disturbed him and caused +him to go straight to his hole to hide himself from a possible danger. +It struck me that if I went to the middle of the ground and stationed +myself near the hole, I would be sure to see him. It would indeed be +difficult to see him any other way, since one could never know in +which direction he had gone out to seek for food. But no, it was too +dangerous: the serpent might come upon me unawares and would probably +resent always finding a boy hanging about his den. Still, I could not +endure to think I had seen the last of him, and day after day I +continued to haunt the spot, and going a few yards into the little +weedy wilderness would stand and peer, and at the slightest rustling +sound of an insect or falling leaf would experience a thrill of +fearful joy, and still the black majestical creature failed to appear. + +One day in my eagerness and impatience I pushed my way through the +crowded weeds right to the middle of the ground and gazed with a mixed +delight and fear at the hole: would he find me there, as on a former +occasion? Would he come? I held my breath, I strained my sight and +hearing in vain, the hope and fear of his appearance gradually died +out, and I left the place bitterly disappointed and walked to a spot +about fifty yards away, where mulberry trees grew on the slope of the +mound inside the moat. + +Looking up into the masses of big clustering leaves over my head I +spied a bat hanging suspended from a twig. The bats, I must explain, +in that part of the world, that illimitable plain where there were no +caverns and old buildings and other dark places to hide in by day, are +not so intolerant of the bright light as in other lands. They do not +come forth until evening, but by day they are content to hitch +themselves to the twig of a tree under a thick cluster of leaves and +rest there until it is dark. + +Gazing up at this bat suspended under a big green leaf, wrapped in his +black and buff-coloured wings as in a mantle, I forgot my +disappointment, forgot the serpent, and was so entirely taken up with +the bat that I paid no attention to a sensation like a pressure or a +dull pain on the instep of my right foot. Then the feeling of pressure +increased and was very curious and was as if I had a heavy object like +a crowbar lying across my foot, and at length I looked down at my +feet, and to my amazement and horror spied the great black snake +slowly drawing his long coil across my instep! I dared not move, but +gazed down fascinated with the sight of that glistening black +cylindrical body drawn so slowly over my foot. He had come out of the +moat, which was riddled at the sides with rat-holes, and had most +probably been there hunting for rats when my wandering footsteps +disturbed him and sent him home to his den; and making straight for +it, as his way was, he came to my foot, and instead of going round +drew himself over it. After the first spasm of terror I knew I was +perfectly safe, that he would not turn upon me so long as I remained +quiescent, and would presently be gone from sight. And that was my +last sight of him; in vain I watched and waited for him to appear on +many subsequent days: but that last encounter had left in me a sense +of a mysterious being, dangerous on occasion as when attacked or +insulted, and able in some cases to inflict death with a sudden blow, +but harmless and even friendly or beneficent towards those who +regarded it with kindly and reverent feelings in place of hatred. It +is in part the feeling of the Hindoo with regard to the cobra which +inhabits his house and may one day accidently cause his death, but is +not to be persecuted. + +Possibly something of that feeling about serpents has survived in me; +but in time, as my curiosity about all wild creatures grew, as I +looked more on them with the naturalist's eyes, the mystery of the +large black snake pressed for an answer. It seemed impossible to +believe that any species of snake of large size and black as jet or +anthracite coal in colour could exist in any inhabited country without +being known, yet no person I interrogated on the subject had ever seen +or heard of such an ophidian. The only conclusion appeared to be that +this snake was the sole one of its kind in the land. Eventually I +heard of the phenomenon of melanism in animals, less rare in snakes +perhaps than in animals of other classes, and I was satisfied that the +problem was partly solved. My serpent was a black individual of a +species of some other colour. But it was not one of our common +species-not one of those I knew. It was not a thick blunt-bodied +serpent like our venomous pit-viper, our largest snake, and though in +shape it conformed to our two common harmless species it was twice as +big as the biggest specimens I had ever seen of them. Then I recalled +that two years before my discovery of the black snake, our house had +been visited by a large unknown snake which measured two or three +inches over six feet and was similar in form to my black serpent. The +colour of this strange and unwelcome visitor was a pale greenish grey, +with numerous dull black mottlings and small spots. The story of its +appearance is perhaps worth giving. + +It happened that I had a baby sister who could just toddle about on +two legs, having previously gone on all-fours. One midsummer day she +was taken up and put on a rug in the shade of a tree, twenty-five +yards from the sitting-room door, and left alone there to amuse +herself with her dolls and toys. After half an hour or so she appeared +at the door of the sitting-room where her mother was at work, and +standing there with wide-open astonished eyes and moving her hand and +arm as if to point to the place she came from, she uttered the +mysterious word _ku-ku_. It is a wonderful word which the southern +South American mother teaches her child from the moment it begins to +toddle, and is useful in a desert and sparsely inhabited country where +biting, stinging, and other injurious creatures are common. For babies +when they learn to crawl and to walk are eager to investigate and have +no natural sense of danger. Take as an illustration the case of the +gigantic hairy brown spider, which is excessively abundant in summer +and has the habit of wandering about as if always seeking something-- +"something it cannot find, it knows not what"; and in these wanderings +it comes in at the open door and rambles about the room. At the sight +of such a creature the baby is snatched up with the cry of _ku-ku_ and +the intruder slain with a broom or other weapon and thrown out. _Ku- +ku_ means dangerous, and the terrified gestures and the expression of +the nurse or mother when using the word sink into the infant mind, and +when that sound or word is heard there is an instant response, as in +the case of a warning note or cry uttered by a parent bird which +causes the young to fly away or crouch down and hide. + +The child's gestures and the word it used caused her mother to run to +the spot where it had been left in the shade, and to her horror she +saw there a huge serpent coiled up in the middle of the rug. Her cries +brought my father on the scene, and seizing a big stick he promptly +dispatched the snake. + +The child, said everybody, had had a marvellous escape, and as she had +never previously seen a snake and could not intuitively know it as +dangerous, or _ku-ku_, it was conjectured that she had made some +gesture or attempted to push the snake away when it came on to the +rug, and that it had reared its head and struck viciously at her. + +Recalling this incident I concluded that this unknown serpent, which +had been killed because it wanted to share my baby sister's rug, and +my black serpent were one and the same species--possibly they had been +mates--and that they had strayed a distance away from their native +place or else were the last survivors of a colony of their kind in our +plantation. It was not until twelve or fourteen years later that I +discovered that it was even as I had conjectured. At a distance of +about forty miles from my home, or rather from the home of my boyhood +where I no longer lived, I found a snake that was new to me, the +_Philodryas scotti_ of naturalists, a not uncommon Argentine snake, +and recognized it as the same species as the one found coiled up on my +little sister's rug and presumably as my mysterious black serpent. +Some of the specimens which I measured exceeded six feet in length. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +A BOY'S ANIMISM + +The animistic faculty and its survival in us--A boy's animism and its +persistence--Impossibility of seeing our past exactly as it was--Serge +Aksakoff's history of his childhood--The child's delight in nature +purely physical--First intimations of animism in the child--How it +affected me--Feeling with regard to flowers--A flower and my mother-- +History of a flower--Animism with regard to trees--Locust-trees by +moonlight--Animism and nature-worship--Animistic emotion not +uncommon--Cowper and the Yardley oak--The religionist's fear of +nature--Pantheistic Christianity--Survival of nature-worship in +England--The feeling for nature--Wordsworth's pantheism and animistic +emotion in poetry. + + + +These serpent memories, particularly the enduring image of that black +serpent which when recalled restores most vividly the emotion +experienced at the time, serve to remind me of a subject not yet +mentioned in my narrative: this is animism, or that sense of something +in nature which to the enlightened or civilized man is not there, and +in the civilized man's child, if it be admitted that he has it at all, +is but a faint survival of a phase of the primitive mind. And by +animism I do not mean the theory of a soul in nature, but the tendency +or impulse or instinct, in which all myth originates, to animate all +things; the projection of ourselves into nature; the sense and +apprehension of an intelligence like our own but more powerful in all +visible things. It persists and lives in many of us, I imagine, more +than we like to think, or more than we know, especially in those born +and bred amidst rural surroundings, where there are hills and woods +and rocks and streams and waterfalls, these being the conditions which +are most favourable to it--the scenes which have "inherited +associations" for us, as Herbert Spencer has said. In large towns and +all populous places, where nature has been tamed until it appears like +a part of man's work, almost as artificial as the buildings he +inhabits, it withers and dies so early in life that its faint +intimations are soon forgotten and we come to believe that we have +never experienced them. That such a feeling can survive in any man, or +that there was ever a time since his infancy when he could have +regarded this visible world as anything but what it actually is--the +stage to which he has been summoned to play his brief but important +part, with painted blue and green scenery for background--becomes +incredible. Nevertheless, I know that in me, old as I am, this same +primitive faculty which manifested itself in my early boyhood, still +persists, and in those early years was so powerful that I am almost +afraid to say how deeply I was moved by it. + +It is difficult, impossible I am told, for any one to recall his +boyhood exactly as it was. It could not have been what it seems to the +adult mind, since we cannot escape from what we are, however great our +detachment may be; and in going back we must take our present selves +with us: the mind has taken a different colour, and this is thrown +back upon our past. The poet has reversed the order of things when he +tells us that we come trailing clouds of glory, which melt away and +are lost as we proceed on our journey. The truth is that unless we +belong to the order of those who crystallize or lose their souls on +their passage, the clouds gather about us as we proceed, and as cloud- +compellers we travel on to the very end. + +Another difficulty in the way of those who write of their childhood is +that unconscious artistry will steal or sneak in to erase unseemly +lines and blots, to retouch, and colour, and shade and falsify the +picture. The poor, miserable autobiographer naturally desires to make +his personality as interesting to the reader as it appears to himself. +I feel this strongly in reading other men's recollections of their +early years. There are, however, a few notable exceptions, the best +one I know being Serge Aksakoff's _History of His Childhood;_ and +in his case the picture was not falsified, simply because the temper, +and tastes, and passions of his early boyhood--his intense love of his +mother, of nature, of all wildness, and of sport--endured unchanged in +him to the end and kept him a boy in heart, able after long years to +revive the past mentally, and picture it in its true, fresh, original +colours. + +And I can say of myself with regard to this primitive faculty and +emotion--this sense of the supernatural in natural things, as I have +called it--that I am on safe ground for the same reason; the feeling +has never been wholly outlived. And I will add, probably to the +disgust of some rigidly orthodox reader, that these are childish +things which I have no desire to put away. + +The first intimations of the feeling are beyond recall; I only know +that my memory takes me back to a time when I was unconscious of any +such element in nature, when the delight I experienced in all natural +things was purely physical. I rejoiced in colours, scents, sounds, in +taste and touch: the blue of the sky, the verdure of earth, the +sparkle of sunlight on water, the taste of milk, of fruit, of honey, +the smell of dry or moist soil, of wind and rain, of herbs and +flowers; the mere feel of a blade of grass made me happy; and there +were certain sounds and perfumes, and above all certain colours in +flowers, and in the plumage and eggs of birds, such as the purple +polished shell of the tinamou's egg, which intoxicated me with +delight. When, riding on the plain, I discovered a patch of scarlet +verbenas in full bloom, the creeping plants covering an area of +several yards, with a moist, green sward sprinkled abundantly with the +shining flower-bosses, I would throw myself from my pony with a cry of +joy to lie on the turf among them and feast my sight on their +brilliant colour. + +It was not, I think, till my eighth year that I began to be distinctly +conscious of something more than this mere childish delight in nature. +It may have been there all the time from infancy--I don't know; but +when I began to know it consciously it was as if some hand had +surreptitiously dropped something into the honeyed cup which gave it +at certain times a new flavour. It gave me little thrills, often +purely pleasurable, at other times startling, and there were occasions +when it became so poignant as to frighten me. The sight of a +magnificent sunset was sometimes almost more than I could endure and +made me wish to hide myself away. But when the feeling was roused by +the sight of a small and beautiful or singular object, such as a +flower, its sole effect was to intensify the object's loveliness. +There were many flowers which produced this effect in but a slight +degree, and as I grew up and the animistic sense lost its intensity, +these too lost their magic and were almost like other flowers which +had never had it. There were others which never lost what for want of +a better word I have just called their magic, and of these I will give +an account of one. + +I was about nine years old, perhaps a month or two more, when during +one of my rambles on horseback I found at a distance of two or three +miles from home, a flower that was new to me. The plant, a little over +a foot in height, was growing in the shelter of some large cardoon +thistle, or wild artichoke, bushes. It had three stalks clothed with +long, narrow, sharply-pointed leaves, which were downy, soft to the +feel like the leaves of our great mullein, and pale green in colour. +All three stems were crowned with clusters of flowers, the single +flower a little larger than that of the red valerian, of a pale red +hue and a peculiar shape, as each small pointed petal had a fold or +twist at the end. Altogether it was slightly singular in appearance +and pretty, though not to be compared with scores of other flowers of +the plains for beauty. Nevertheless it had an extraordinary +fascination for me, and from the moment of its discovery it became one +of my sacred flowers. From that time onwards, when riding on the +plain, I was always on the look-out for it, and as a rule I found +three or four plants in a season, but never more than one at any spot. +They were usually miles apart. + +On first discovering it I took a spray to show to my mother, and was +strangely disappointed that she admired it merely because it was a +pretty flower, seen for the first time. I had actually hoped to hear +from her some word which would have revealed to me why I thought so +much of it: now it appeared as if it was no more to her than any other +pretty flower and even less than some she was peculiarly fond of, such +as the fragrant little lily called Virgin's Tears, the scented pure +white and the rose-coloured verbenas, and several others. Strange that +she who alone seemed always to know what was in my mind and who loved +all beautiful things, especially flowers, should have failed to see +what I had found in it! + +Years later, when she had left us and when I had grown almost to +manhood and we were living in another place, I found that we had as +neighbour a Belgian gentleman who was a botanist. I could not find a +specimen of my plant to show him, but gave him a minute description of +it as an annual, with very large, tough, permanent roots, also that it +exuded a thick milky juice when the stem was broken, and produced its +yellow seeds in a long, cylindrical, sharply-pointed pod full of +bright silvery down, and I gave him sketches of flower and leaf. He +succeeded in finding it in his books: the species had been known +upwards of thirty years, and the discoverer, who happened to be an +Englishman, had sent seed and roots to the Botanical Societies abroad +he corresponded with; the species had been named after him, and it was +to be found now growing in some of the Botanical Gardens of Europe. + +All this information was not enough to satisfy me; there was nothing +about the man in his books. So I went to my father to ask him if he +had ever known or heard of an Englishman of that name in the country. +Yes, he said, he had known him well; he was a merchant in Buenos +Ayres, a nice gentle-mannered man, a bachelor and something of a +recluse in his private house, where he lived alone and spent all his +week-ends and holidays roaming about the plains with his vasculum in +search of rare plants. He had been long dead--oh, quite twenty or +twenty-five years. + +I was sorry that he was dead, and was haunted with a desire to find +out his resting-place so as to plant the flower that bore his name on +his grave. He, surely, when he discovered it, must have had that +feeling which I had experienced when I first beheld it and could never +describe. And perhaps the presence of those deep ever-living roots +near his bones, and of the flower in the sunshine above him, would +bring him a beautiful memory in a dream, if ever a dream visited him, +in his long unawakening sleep. + +No doubt in cases of this kind, when a first impression and the +emotion accompanying it endures through life, the feeling changes +somewhat with time; imagination has worked on it and has had its +effect; nevertheless the endurance of the image and emotion serves to +show how powerful the mind was moved in the first instance. + +I have related this case because there were interesting circumstances +connected with it; but there were other flowers which produced a +similar feeling, which, when recalled, bring back the original +emotion; and I would gladly travel many miles any day to look again at +any one of them. The feeling, however, was evoked more powerfully by +trees than by even the most supernatural of my flowers; it varied in +power according to time and place and the appearance of the tree or +trees, and always affected me most on moonlight nights. Frequently, +after I had first begun to experience it consciously, I would go out +of my way to meet it, and I used to steal out of the house alone when +the moon was at its full to stand, silent and motionless, near some +group of large trees, gazing at the dusky green foliage silvered by +the beams; and at such times the sense of mystery would grow until a +sensation of delight would change to fear, and the fear increase until +it was no longer to be borne, and I would hastily escape to recover +the sense of reality and safety indoors, where there was light and +company. Yet on the very next night I would steal out again and go to +the spot where the effect was strongest, which was usually among the +large locust or white acacia trees, which gave the name of Las Acacias +to our place. The loose feathery foliage on moonlight nights had a +peculiar hoary aspect that made this tree seem more intensely alive +than others, more conscious of my presence and watchful of me. + +I never spoke of these feelings to others, not even to my mother, +notwithstanding that she was always in perfect sympathy with me with +regard to my love of nature. The reason of my silence was, I think, my +powerlessness to convey in words what I felt; but I imagine it would +be correct to describe the sensation experienced on those moonlight +night among the trees as similar to the feeling a person would have +if visited by a supernatural being, if he was perfectly convinced that +it was there in his presence, albeit silent and unseen, intently +regarding him, and divining every thought in his mind. He would be +thrilled to the marrow, but not terrified if he knew that it would +take no visible shape nor speak to him out of the silence. + +This faculty or instinct of the dawning mind is or has always seemed +to me essentially religious in character; undoubtedly it is the root +of all nature-worship, from fetishism to the highest pantheistic +development. It was more to me in those early days than all the +religious teaching I received from my mother. Whatever she told me +about our relations with the Supreme Being I believed implicitly, just +as I believed everything else she told me, and as I believed that two +and two make four and that the world is round in spite of its flat +appearance; also that it is travelling through space and revolving +round the sun instead of standing still, with the sun going round it, +as one would imagine. But apart from the fact that the powers above +would save me in the end from extinction, which was a great +consolation, these teachings did not touch my heart as it was touched +and thrilled by something nearer, more intimate, in nature, not only +in moonlit trees or in a flower or serpent, but, in certain exquisite +moments and moods and in certain aspects of nature, in "every grass" +and in all things, animate and inanimate. + +It is not my wish to create the impression that I am a peculiar person +in this matter; on the contrary, it is my belief that the animistic +instinct, if a mental faculty can be so called, exists and persists in +many persons, and that I differ from others only in looking steadily +at it and taking it for what it is, also in exhibiting it to the +reader naked and without a fig-leaf expressed, to use a Baconian +phrase. When the religious Cowper confesses in the opening lines of +his address to the famous Yardley oak, that the sense of awe and +reverence it inspired in him would have made him bow himself down and +worship it but for the happy fact that his mind was illumined with the +knowledge of the truth, he is but saying what many feel without in +most cases recognizing the emotion for what it is--the sense of the +supernatural in nature. And if they have grown up, as was the case +with Cowper, with the image of an implacable anthropomorphic deity in +their minds, a being who is ever jealously watching them to note which +way their wandering thoughts are tending, they rigorously repress the +instinctive feeling as a temptation of the evil one, or as a lawless +thought born of their own inherent sinfulness. Nevertheless it is not +uncommon to meet with instances of persons who appear able to +reconcile their faith in revealed religion with their animistic +emotion. I will give an instance. One of the most treasured memories +of an old lady friend of mine, recently deceased, was of her visits, +some sixty years or more ago, to a great country-house where she met +many of the distinguished people of that time, and of her host, who +was then old, the head of an ancient and distinguished family, and of +his reverential feeling for his trees. His greatest pleasure was to +sit out of doors of an evening in sight of the grand old trees in his +park, and before going in he would walk round to visit them, one by +one, and resting his hand on the bark he would whisper a goodnight. He +was convinced, he confided to his young guest, who often accompanied +him in these evening walks, that they had intelligent souls and knew +and encouraged his devotion. + +There is nothing surprising to me in this; it is told here only +because the one who cherished this feeling and belief was an orthodox +Christian, a profoundly religious person; also because my informant +herself, who was also deeply religious, loved the memory of this old +friend of her early life mainly because of his feeling for trees, +which she too cherished, believing, as she often told me, that trees +and all living and growing things have souls. What has surprised me is +that a form of tree-worship is still found existing among a few of the +inhabitants in some of the small rustic villages in out-of-the-world +districts in England. Not such survivals as the apple tree folk-songs +and ceremonies of the west, which have long become meaningless, but +something living, which has a meaning for the mind, a survival such as +our anthropologists go to the end of the earth to seek among barbarous +and savage tribes. + +The animism which persists in the adult in these scientific times has +been so much acted on and changed by dry light that it is scarcely +recognizable in what is somewhat loosely or vaguely called a "feeling +for nature": it has become intertwined with the aesthetic feeling and +may be traced in a good deal of our poetic literature, particularly +from the time of the first appearance of _Lyrical Ballads_, which +put an end to the eighteenth-century poetic convention and made the +poet free to express what he really felt. But the feeling, whether +expressed or not, was always there. Before the classic period we find +in Traherne a poetry which was distinctly animistic, with Christianity +grafted on it. Wordsworth's pantheism is a subtilized animism, but +there are moments when his feeling is like that of the child or savage +when he is convinced that the flower enjoys the air it breathes. + +I must apologize to the reader for having gone beyond my last, since I +am not a student of literature, nor catholic in my literary tastes, +and on such subjects can only say just what I feel. And this is, that +the survival of the sense of mystery, or of the supernatural, in +nature, is to me in our poetic literature like that ingredient of a +salad which "animates the whole"; that the absence of that emotion has +made a great portion of the eighteenth century poetic literature +almost intolerable to me, so that I wish the little big man who +dominated his age (and till a few months ago still had in Mr. +Courthope one follower among us) had emigrated west when still young, +leaving _Windsor Forest_ as his only monument and sole and sufficient +title to immortality. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +THE NEW SCHOOLMASTER + +Mr. Trigg recalled--His successor--Father O'Keefe--His mild rule and +love of angling--My brother is assisted in his studies by the priest-- +Happy fishing afternoons--The priest leaves us--How he had been +working out his own salvation--We run wild once more--My brother's +plan for a journal to be called _The Tin Box_--Our imperious editor's +exactions--My little brother revolts--_The Tin Box_ smashed up--The +loss it was to me. + + + +The account of our schooling days under Mr. Trigg was given so far +back in this history that the reader will have little recollection of +it. Mr. Trigg was in a small way a sort of Jekyll and Hyde, all +pleasantness in one of his states and all black looks and truculence +in the other; so that out of doors and at table we children would say +to ourselves in astonishment, "Is this our schoolmaster?" but when in +school we would ask, "Is this Mr. Trigg?" But, as I have related, he +had been forbidden to inflict corporal punishment on us, and was +finally got rid of because in one of his demoniacal moods he thrashed +us brutally with his horsewhip. When this occurred we, to our regret, +were not permitted to go back to our aboriginal condition of young +barbarians: some restraint, some teaching was still imposed upon us by +our mother, who took, or rather tried to take, this additional burden +on herself. Accordingly, we had to meet with our lesson-books and +spend three or four hours every morning with her, or in the schoolroom +without her, for she was constantly being called away, and when +present a portion of the time was spent in a little talk which was not +concerned with our lessons. For we moved and breathed and had our +being in a strange moral atmosphere, where lawless acts were common +and evil and good were scarcely distinguishable, and all this made her +more anxious about our spiritual than our mental needs. + +My two elder brothers did not attend, as they had long discovered that +their only safe plan was to be their own schoolmasters, and it was +even more than she could manage very well to keep the four smaller +ones to their tasks. She sympathized too much with our impatience at +confinement when sun and wind and the cries of wild birds called +insistently to us to come out and be alive and enjoy ourselves in our +own way. + +At this stage a successor to Mr. Trigg, a real schoolmaster, was +unexpectedly found for us in the person of Father O'Keefe, an Irish +priest without a cure and with nothing to do. Some friends of my +father, on one of his periodical visits to Buenos Ayres, mentioned +this person to him-this priest who in his wanderings about the world +had drifted hither and was anxious to find some place to stay at out +on the plains while waiting for something to turn up. As he was +without means he said he would be glad of the position of schoolmaster +in the house for a time, that it would exactly suit him. + +Father O'Keefe, who now appeared on the scene, was very unlike Mr. +Trigg; he was a very big man in black but rusty clerical garments. He +also had an extraordinarily big head and face, all of a dull, reddish +colour, usually covered with a three or four days' growth of grizzly +hair. Although his large face was unmistakably, intensely Irish, it +was not the gorilla-like countenance so common in the Irish peasant- +priest--the priest one sees every day in the streets of Dublin. He +was, perhaps, of a better class, as his features were all good. A +heavy man as well as a big one, he was not so amusing and so fluent a +talker out of school as his predecessor, nor, as we were delighted to +discover, so exacting and tyrannical in school. On the contrary, in +and out of school he was always the same, mild and placid in temper, +with a gentle sort of humour, and he was also very absent-minded. He +would forget all about school hours, roam about the gardens and +plantations, get into long conversations with the workmen, and +eventually, when he found that he was somewhat too casual to please +his employer, he enjoined us to "look him up" and let him know when it +was school-time. Looking him up usually took a good deal of time. His +teaching was not very effective. He could not be severe nor even +passably strict, and never punished us in any way. When lessons were +not learned he would sympathize with and comfort us by saying we had +done our best and more could not be expected. He was also glad of any +excuse to let us off for half-a-day. We found out that he was +exceedingly fond of fishing--that with a rod and line in his hand he +would spend hours of perfect happiness, even without a bite to cheer +him, and on any fine day that called us to the plain we would tell him +that it was a perfect day for fishing, and ask him to let us off for +the afternoon. At dinner time he would broach the subject and say the +children had been very hard at their studies all the morning, and that +it would be a mistake to force their young minds too much, that all +work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and so on and so forth, and +that he considered it would be best for them, instead of going back to +more lessons in the afternoon, to go for a ride. He always gained his +point, and dinner over we would rush out to catch and saddle our +horses, and one for Father O'Keefe. + +The younger of our two elder brothers, the sportsman and fighter, and +our leader and master in all our outdoor pastimes and peregrinations, +had taken to the study of mathematics with tremendous enthusiasm, the +same temper which he displayed in every subject and exercise that +engaged him--fencing, boxing, shooting, hunting, and so on; and on +Father O'Keefe's engagement he was anxious to know if the new master +would be any use to him. The priest had sent a most satisfactory +reply; he would be delighted to assist the young gentleman with his +mathematics, and to help him over all his difficulties; it was +accordingly arranged that my brother was to have an early hour each +morning with the master before school hours, and an hour or two in the +evening. Very soon it began to appear that the studies were not +progressing smoothly; the priest would come forth as usual with a +smiling, placid countenance, my brother with a black scowl on his +face, and gaining his room, he would hurl his books down and protest +in violent language that the O'Keefe was a perfect fraud, that he knew +as much of the infinitesimal calculus as a gaucho on horseback or a +wild Indian. Then, beginning to see it in a humorous light, he would +shout with laughter at the priest's pretentions to know anything, and +would say he was only fit to teach babies just out of the cradle to +say their ABC. He only wished the priest had also pretended to some +acquaintance with the manly art, so that they could have a few bouts +with the gloves on, as it would have been a great pleasure to bruise +that big humbugging face black and blue. + +The mathematical lessons soon ceased altogether, but whenever an +afternoon outing was arranged my brother would throw aside his books +to join us and take the lead. The ride to the river, he would say, +would give us the opportunity for a little cavalry training and lance- +throwing exercise. In the cane-brake he would cut long, straight canes +for lances, which at the fishing-ground would be cut down to a proper +length for rods. Then, mounting, we would set off, O'Keefe ahead, +absorbed as usual in his own thoughts, while we at a distance of a +hundred yards or so would form in line and go through our evolutions, +chasing the flying enemy, O'Keefe; and at intervals our commander +would give the order to charge, whereupon we would dash forward with a +shout, and when about forty yards from him we would all hurl our +lances so as to make them fall just at the feet of his horse. In this +way we would charge him a dozen or twenty times before getting to our +destination, but never once would he turn his head or have any inkling +of our carryings-on in the rear, even when his horse lashed out +viciously with his hind legs at the lances when they fell too near his +feet. + +We enjoyed the advantage of the O'Keefe regime for about a year, then +one day, in his usual casual manner, without a hint as to how his +private affairs were going, he said that he had to go somewhere to see +some one about something, and we saw him no more. However, news of his +movements and a good deal of information about him reached us +incidentally, from all which it appeared that during his time with us, +and for some months previously, Father O'Keefe had been working out +his own salvation in a quiet way in accordance with a rather elaborate +plan which he had devised. Before he became our teacher he had lived +in some priestly establishment in the capital, and had been a hanger- +on at the Bishop's palace, waiting for a benefice or for some office, +and at length, tired of waiting in vain, he had quietly withdrawn +himself from this society and had got into communication with one of +the Protestant clergymen of the town. He intimated or insinuated that +he had long been troubled with certain scruples, that his conscience +demanded a little more liberty than his church would allow its +followers, and this had caused him to cast a wistful eye on that other +church whose followers were, alas! accorded a little more liberty than +was perhaps good for their souls. But he didn't know, and in any case +he would like to correspond on these important matters with one on the +other side. This letter met with a warm response, and there was much +correspondence and meetings with other clerics-Anglican or +Episcopalian, I forget which. But there were also Presbyterians, +Lutherans, and Methodist ministers, all with churches of their own in +the town, and he may have flirted a little with all of them. Then he +came for his year of waiting to us, during which he amused himself by +teaching the little ones, smoothing the way for my mathematical +brother, and fishing. But the authorities of the church had not got +rid of him; they heard not infrequently from him, and it was not +pleasant hearing. He had come, he told them, a Roman Catholic priest +to a Roman Catholic country, and had found himself a stranger in a +strange land. He had waited patiently for months, and had been put off +with idle promises or thrust aside, while every greedy pushing priest +that arrived from Spain and Italy was received with open arms and a +place provided for him. Then, when his patience and private means had +been exhausted, he had accidently been thrown among those who were not +of the Faith, yet had received him with open arms. He had been +humiliated and pained at the disinterested hospitality and Christian +charity shown to him by those outside the pale, after the treatment he +had received from his fellow-priests. + +Probably he said more than this: for it is a fact that he had been +warmly invited to preach in one or two of the Protestant churches in +the town. He did not go so far as to accept that offer: he was wise in +his generation, and eventually got his reward. + +Our schoolmaster gone, we were once more back in the old way; we did +just what we liked. Our parents probably thought that our life would +be on the plains, with sheep and cattle-breeding for only vocations, +and that should any one of us, like my mathematical-minded brother, +take some line of his own, he would find out the way of it for +himself: his own sense, the light of nature, would be his guide. I had +no inclination to do anything with books myself: books were lessons, +therefore repellent, and that any one should read a book for pleasure +was inconceivable. The only attempt to improve our minds at this +period came, oddly enough, from my masterful brother who despised our +babyish intellects--especially mine. However, one day he announced +that he had a grand scheme to put before us. He had heard or read of a +family of boys living just like us in some wild isolated land where +there were no schools or teachers and no newspapers, who amused +themselves by writing a journal of their own, which was issued once a +week. There was a blue pitcher on a shelf in the house, and into this +pitcher every boy dropped his contribution, and one of them--of course +the most intelligent one--carefully went through them, selected the +best, and copied them all out in one large sheet, and this was their +weekly journal called _The Blue Pitcher_, and it was read and enjoyed +by the whole house. He proposed that we should do the same; he, of +course, would edit the paper and write a large portion of it; it would +occupy two or four sheets of quarto paper, all in his beautiful +handwriting, which resembled copper-plate, and it would be issued for +all of us to read every Saturday. We all agreed joyfully, and as the +title had taken our fancy we started hunting for a blue pitcher all +over the house, but couldn't find such a thing, and finally had to put +up with a tin box with a wooden lid and a lock and key. The +contributions were to be dropped in through a slit in the lid which +the carpenter made for us, and my brother took possession of the key. +The title of the paper was to be _The Tin Box,_ and we were instructed +to write about the happenings of the week and anything in fact which +had interested us, and not to be such little asses as to try to deal +with subjects we knew nothing about. I was to say something about +birds: there was never a week went by in which I didn't tell them a +wonderful story of a strange bird I had seen for the first time: well, +I could write about that strange bird and make it just as wonderful as +I liked. + +We set about our task at once with great enthusiasm, trying for the +first time in our lives to put our thoughts into writing. All went +well for a few days. Then our editor called us together to hear an +important communication he wished to make. First he showed us, but +would not allow us to read or handle, a fair copy of the paper, or of +the portion he had done, just to enable us to appreciate the care he +was taking over it. He then went on to say that he could not give so +much time to the task and pay for stationery as well without a small +weekly contribution from us. This would only be about three-halfpence +or twopence from our pocket-money, and would not be much missed. To +this we all agreed at once except my younger brother, aged about seven +at that time. Then, he was told, he would not be allowed to contribute +to the paper. Very well, he wouldn't contribute to it, he said. In +vain we all tried to coax him out of his stubborn resolve: he would +not part with a copper of his money and would have nothing to do with +_The Tin Box_. Then the Editor's wrath broke out, and he said he had +already written his editorial, but would now, as a concluding article, +write a second one in order to show up the person who had tried to +wreck the paper, in his true colours. He would exhibit him as the +meanest, most contemptible insect that ever crawled on the surface +of the earth. + +In the middle of this furious tirade my poor little brother burst out +crying. "Keep your miserable tears till the paper is out," shouted the +other, "as you will have good reason to shed them then. You will be a +marked being, every one will then point the finger of scorn at you and +wonder how he could ever have thought well of such a pitiful little +wretch." + +This was more than the little fellow could stand, and he suddenly fled +from the room, still crying; then we all laughed, and the angry editor +laughed too, proud of the effect his words had produced. + +Our little brother did not join us at play that afternoon: he was in +hiding somewhere, keeping watch on the movements of his enemy, who was +no doubt engaged already in writing that dreadful article which would +make him a marked being for the rest of his life. + +In due time the editor, his task finished, came forth, and mounting +his horse, galloped off; and the little watcher came out, and stealing +into the room where the _Tin Box_ was kept, carried it off to the +carpenter's shop. There with chisel and hammer he broke the lid to +pieces, and taking out all the papers, set to work to tear them up +into the minutest fragments, which were carried out and scattered all +over the place. + +When the big brother came home and discovered what had been done he +was in a mighty rage, and went off in search of the avaricious little +rebel who had dared to destroy his work. But the little rebel was not +to be caught; at the right moment he fled from the coming tempest to +his parents and claimed their protection. Then the whole matter had to +be inquired into, and the big boy was told that he was not to thrash +his little brother, that he himself was to blame for everything on +account of the extravagant language he had used, which the poor little +fellow had taken quite seriously. If he actually believed _The Tin +Box_ article was going to have that disastrous effect on him, who +could blame him for destroying it? + +That was the end of _The Tin Box_; not a word about starting it +afresh was said, and from that day my elder brother never mentioned +it. But years later I came to think it a great pity that the scheme +had miscarried. I believe, from later experience, that even if it had +lasted but a few weeks it would have given me the habit of recording +my observations, and that is a habit without which the keenest +observation and the most faithful memory are not sufficient for the +field naturalist. Thus, through the destruction of the Tin Box, I +believe I lost a great part of the result of six years of life with +wild nature, since it was not until six years after my little +brother's rebellious act that I discovered the necessity of making a +note of every interesting thing I witnessed. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +BROTHERS + +Our third and last schoolmaster--His many accomplishments--His +weakness and final breakdown--My important brother--Four brothers, +unlike in everything except the voice--A strange meeting--Jack the +Killer, his life and character--A terrible fight--My brother seeks +instructions from Jack--The gaucho's way of fighting and Jack's +contrasted--Our sham fight with knives--A wound and the result--My +feeling about Jack and his eyes--Bird-lore--My two elder brothers' +practical joke. + + + +The vanishing of the unholy priest from our ken left us just about +where we had been before his large red face had lifted itself above +our horizon. At all events the illumination had not been great. And +thereafter it was holiday once more for a goodish time until yet a +third tutor came upon the scene:--yet another stranger in a strange +land who had fallen into low (and hot) water and was willing to fill a +vacant time in educating us. Just as in the case of the O'Keefe, he +was thrust upon my good-natured and credulous father by his friends in +the capital, who had this gentleman with them and were anxious to get +him off their hands. He was, they assured my father, just the man he +wanted, a fine fellow of good family, highly educated and all that; +but he had been a bit wild, and all that was wanted to bring him round +was to get him out a good distance from the capital and its +temptations and into a quiet, peaceful home like ours. Strange to say, +he actually turned out to be all they had said, and more. He had +studied hard at college and when reading for a profession; he was a +linguist, a musician, he had literary tastes, and was well read in +science, and above all he was a first-rate mathematician. Naturally, +to my studious brother he came as an angel beautiful and bright, with +no suggestion of the fiend in him; for not only was he a +mathematician, but he was also an accomplished fencer and boxer. And +so the two were soon fast friends, and worked hard together over their +books, and would then repair for an hour or two every day to the +plantation to fence and box and practise with pistol and rifle at the +target. He also took to the humbler task of teaching the rest of us +with considerable zeal, and succeeded in rousing a certain enthusiasm +in us. We were, he told us, grossly ignorant--simply young barbarians; +but he had penetrated beneath the thick crust that covered our minds, +and was pleased to find that there were possibilities of better +things; that if we would but second his efforts and throw ourselves, +heart and soul, into our studies, we should eventually develop from +the grub condition to that of purple-winged butterflies. + +Our new teacher was tremendously eloquent, and it looked as if he had +succeeded in conquering that wildness or weakness or whatever it was +which had been his undoing in the past. Then came a time when he would +ask for a horse and go for a long ride. He would make a call at some +English estancia, and drink freely of the wine or spirits hospitably +set on the table. And the result would be that he would come home +raving like a lunatic:--a very little alcohol would drive him mad. +Then would follow a day or two of repentance and black melancholy; +then recovery and a fresh fair start. + +All this was somewhat upsetting to all of us: to my mother it was +peculiarly distressing, and became more so when, in one of his +repentant fits and touched by her words, he gave her a packet of his +mother's letters to read:--the pathetic letters of a broken-hearted +woman to her son, her only and adored child, lost to her for ever in a +distant country, thousands of miles from home. These sad appeals only +made my mother more anxious to save him, and it was no doubt her +influence that for a while did save and make him able to succeed in +his efforts to overcome his fatal weakness. But he was of too sanguine +a temper, and by and by began to think that he had conquered, that he +was safe, that it was time for him to do something great; and with +some brilliant scheme he had hatched in his mind, he left us and went +back to the capital to work it out. But alas! before many months, when +he was getting seriously to work, with friends and money to help him +and every prospect of success, he broke down once more, so hopelessly +that once more he had to be got rid of, and he was sent out of the +country, but whether back to his own people or to some other remote +district in Argentina I do not remember, nor do I know what became of +him. + +Thus disastrously ended the third and last attempt my father made to +have us instructed at home. Nor could he send us to town, where there +was but one English school for boys, run by a weak, sickly gentleman, +whose house was a nest of fevers and every sort of ailment incidental +to boys herded together in an unhealthy boarding-school. Prosperous +English people sent their children home to be educated at that time, +but it was enormously expensive and we were not well off enough. A +little later an exception had to be made in the case of my elder +brother, who would not settle down to sheep-farming or any other +occupation out on the pampas, but had set his heart on pursuing his +studies abroad. + +At this period of my life this brother was so important a person to me +that I shall have to give even more space to him in this chapter than +he had in the last one. Yet of my brothers he was not the one nearest +to my heart. He was five full years my senior, and naturally +associated with an elder brother, while we two smaller ones were left +to amuse ourselves together in our own childish way. With a younger +brother for only playmate, I prolonged my childhood, and when I was +ten my brother of fifteen appeared a young man to me. We were all four +extremely unlike in character as well as appearance, and alike in one +thing only--the voice, inherited from our father; but just as our +relationship appeared in that one physical character, so I think that +under all the diversities in our minds and temperaments there was a +hidden quality, a something of the spirit, which made us one; and +this, I believe, came from the mother's side. + +That family likeness in the voice was brought home to us in a curious +way just about this time, when I was in my tenth year. My brother went +one day to Buenos Ayres, and arriving at the stable where our horses +were always put up, long after dark, he left his horse, and on going +out called to the stableman, giving him some direction. As soon as he +had spoken, a feeble voice was heard from the open door of a dark room +near the gate, calling, "That's a Hudson that spoke! Father or son-- +who is it?" + +My brother turned back and groped his way into the dark room, and +replied: "Yes, I'm a Hudson--Edwin's my name. Who are you?" + +"Oh, I'm glad you're here! I'm your old friend Jack," returned the +other, and it was a happy meeting between the boy in his sixteenth +year and the grey-headed old battered vagabond and fighter, known far +and wide in our part of the country as Jack the Killer, and by other +dreadful nicknames, both English and Spanish. Now he was lying there +alone, friendless, penniless, ill, on a rough bed the stableman had +given him in his room. My brother came home full of the subject, sad +at poor old Jack's broken-down condition and rejoicing that he had by +chance found him there and had been able to give him help. + +Jack the Killer was one of those strange Englishmen frequently to be +met with in those days, who had taken to the gaucho's manner of life, +when the gaucho had more liberty and was a more lawless being than he +is now or can ever be again, unless that vast level area of the pampas +should at some future time become dispeopled and go back to what it +was down to half a century ago. He had drifted into that outlandish +place when young, and finding the native system of life congenial had +made himself as much of a native as he could, and dressed like them +and talked their language, and was horse-breaker, cattle-drover, and +many other things by turn, and like any other gaucho he could make his +own bridle and whip and horse-gear and lasso and bolas out of raw +hide. And when not working he could gamble and drink like any gaucho +to the manner born--and fight too. But here there was a difference. +Jack could affiliate with the natives, yet could never be just like +them. The stamp of the foreigner, of the Englishman, was never wholly +eradicated. He retained a certain dignity, a reserve, almost a +stiffness, in his manner which made him a marked man among them, and +would have made him a butt to the wits and bullies among his comrades +but for his pride and deadly power. To be mocked as a foreigner, a +gringo, an inferior being, was what he could not stand, and the result +was that he had to fight, and it then came as a disagreeable +revelation that when Jack fought he fought to kill. This was +considered bad form; for though men were often killed when fighting, +the gaucho's idea is that you do not fight with that intention, but +rather to set your mark upon and conquer your adversary, and so give +yourself fame and glory. Naturally, they were angry with Jack and +became anxious to get rid of him, and by and by he gave them an +excuse. He fought with and killed a man, a famous young fighter, who +had many relations and friends, and some of these determined to avenge +his death. And one night a band of nine men came to the rancho where +Jack was sleeping, and leaving two of their number at the door to kill +him if he attempted to escape that way, the others burst into his +room, their long knives in their hands. As the door was thrown open +Jack woke, and instantly divining the cause of the intrusion, he +snatched up the knife near his pillow and sprang like a cat out of his +bed; and then began a strange and bloody fight, one man, stark naked, +with a short-bladed knife in his hand, against seven men with their +long facons, in a small pitch-dark room. The advantage Jack had was +that his bare feet made no sound on the clay floor, and that he knew +the exact position of a few pieces of furniture in the room. He had, +too, a marvellous agility, and the intense darkness was all in his +favour, as the attackers could hardly avoid wounding one another. At +all events, the result was that three of them were killed and the +other four wounded, all more or less seriously. And from that time +Jack was allowed to live among them as a harmless, peaceful member of +the community, so long as no person twitted him with being a gringo. + +Quite naturally, my brother regarded Jack as one of his greatest +heroes, and whenever he heard of his being in our neighbourhood he +would mount his horse and go off in search of him, to spend long hours +in his company and persuade him to talk about that awful fight in a +dark room with so many against him. One result of his intimacy with +Jack was that he became dissatisfied with his own progress in the +manly art of self-defence. It was all very well to make himself +proficient with the foils and as a boxer, and to be a good shot, but +he was living among people who had the knife for sole weapon, and if +by chance he were attacked by a man with a knife, and had no pistol or +other weapon, he would find himself in an exceedingly awkward +position. There was then nothing to do but to practise with the knife, +and he wanted Jack, who had been so successful with that weapon, to +give him some lessons in its use. + +Jack shook his head. If his boy friend wanted to learn the gaucho way +of fighting he could easily do so. The gaucho wrapped his poncho on +his left arm to use it as a shield, and flourished his facon, or knife +with a sword-like blade and a guard to the handle. This whirling about +of the knife was quite an art, and had a fine look when two +accomplished fighters stood up to each other and made their weapons +look like shining wheels or revolving mirrors in the sun. Meanwhile, +the object of each man was to find his opportunity for a sweeping blow +which would lay his opponent's face open. Now all that was pretty to +look at, but it was mere playing at fighting and he never wanted to +practise it. He was not a fighter by inclination; he wanted to live +with and be one with the gauchos, but not to fight. There were numbers +of men among them who never fought and were never challenged to fight, +and he would be of those if they would let him. He never had a pistol, +he wore a knife like everybody else, but a short knife for use and not +to fight. But when he found that, after all, he had to fight or else +exist on sufferance as a despised creature among them, the butt of +every fool and bully, he did fight in a way which he had never been +taught and could not teach to another. It was nature: it was in him. +When the dangerous moment came and knives flashed out, he was +instantly transformed into a different being. He was on springs, he +couldn't keep still or in one place for a second, or a fraction of a +second; he was like a cat, like india rubber, like steel--like +anything you like, but something that flew round and about his +opponent and was within striking distance one second and a dozen yards +away the next, and when an onset was looked for it never came where it +was expected but from another side, and in two minutes his opponent +became confused, and struck blindly at him, and his opportunity came, +not to slash and cut but to drive his knife with all his power to the +heart in the other's body and finish him for ever. That was how he had +fought and had killed, and because of that way of fighting he had got +his desire and had been permitted to live in peace and quiet until he +had grown grey, and no fighter or swashbuckler had said to him, "Do +you still count yourself a killer of men? then kill me and prove your +right to the title," and no one had jeered at or called him "gringo." + +In spite of this discouragement my brother was quite determined to +learn the art of defending himself with a knife, and he would often go +out into the plantation and practise for an hour with a tree for an +opponent, and try to capture Jack's unpremeditated art of darting +hither and thither about his enemy and making his deadly strokes. But +as the tree stood still and had no knife to oppose him, it was +unsatisfactory, and one day he proposed to me and my younger brother +to have a fight with knives, just to find out if he was making any +progress. He took us out to the far end of the plantation, where no +one would see us, and produced three very big knives, with blades like +butchers' knives, and asked us to attack him with all our might and +try our best to wound him, while he would act solely on the defensive. +At first we declined, and reminded him that he had punished us +terribly with gloves and foils and singlestick, and that it would be +even worse with knives-he would cut us in pieces! No, he said, he +would not dream of hurting us: it would be absolutely safe for us, and +for him too, as he didn't for a moment believe that we could touch him +with our weapons, no matter how hard we tried. And at last we were +persuaded, and taking off our jackets and wrapping them, gaucho- +fashion, on our left arms as a protection, we attacked him with the +big knives, and getting excited we slashed and lunged at him with all +our power, while he danced and jumped and flew about a la Jack the +Killer, using his knife only to guard himself and to try and knock +ours out of our hands; but in one such attempt at disarming me his +weapon went too far and wounded my right arm about three inches below +the shoulder. The blood rushed out and dyed my sleeve red, and the +fight came to an end. He was greatly distressed, and' running off to +the house, quickly returned with a jug of water, sponge, towel, and +linen to bind the wounded arm. It was a deep long cut, and the scar +has remained to this day, so that I can never wash in the morning +without seeing it and remembering that old fight with knives. +Eventually he succeeded in stopping the flow of blood, and binding my +arm tightly round; and then he made the desponding remark, "Of course +they will have to know all about it now." + +"Oh no," I returned, "why should they? My arm has stopped bleeding, +and they won't find out. If they notice that I can't use it--well, I +can just say I had a knock." + +He was immensely relieved, and so pleased that he patted me on the +back--the first time he had ever done so--and praised me for my +manliness in taking it that way; and to be praised by him was such a +rare and precious thing that I felt very proud, and began to think I +was almost as good as a fighter myself. And when all traces of blood +had been removed and we were back in the house and at the supper- +table, I was unusually talkative and hilarious, not only to prevent +any one from suspecting that I had just been seriously wounded in a +fight with knives, but also to prove to my brother that I could take +these knocks with proper fortitude. No doubt he was amused; but he +didn't laugh at me, he was too delighted to escape being found out. + +There were no more fights with knives, although when my wound was +healed he did broach the subject again on two or three occasions, and +was anxious to convince me that it would be greatly to our advantage +to know how to defend ourselves with a knife while living among people +who were always as ready on any slight provocation to draw a knife on +you as a cat was to unsheathe its claws. Nor could all he told us +about the bloody and glorious deeds of Jack _el Matador_ arouse any +enthusiasm in me; and though in his speech and manner Jack was as +quiet and gentle a being as one could meet, I could never overcome a +curious shrinking, an almost uncanny feeling, in his presence, +particularly when he looked straight at me with those fine eyes of +his. They were light grey in colour, clear and bright as in a young +man, but the expression pained me; it was too piercing, too +concentrated, and it reminded me of the look in a cat's eyes when it +crouches motionless just before making its dash at a bird. + +Nevertheless, the fight and wound had one good result for me; my +brother had all at once become less masterful, or tyrannical, towards +me, and even began to show some interest in my solitary disposition +and tastes. A little bird incident brought out this feeling in a way +that was very agreeable to me. One evening I told him and our eldest +brother that I had seen a strange thing in a bird which had led me to +find out something new. Our commonest species was the parasitic +cowbird, which laid its eggs anywhere in the nests of all the other +small birds. Its colour was a deep glossy purple, almost black; and +seeing two of these birds flying over my head, I noticed that they had +a small chestnut-coloured spot beneath the wing, which showed that +they were not the common species. It had then occurred to me that I +had heard a peculiar note or cry uttered by what I took to be the +cowbird, which was unlike any note of that bird; and following this +clue, I had discovered that we had a bird in our plantation which was +like the cowbird in size, colour, and general appearance, but was a +different species. They appeared amused by my story, and a few days +later they closely interrogated me on three consecutive evenings as to +what I had seen that was remarkable that day, in birds especially, and +were disappointed because I had nothing interesting to tell them. + +The next day my brother said he had a confession to make to me. He and +the elder brother had agreed to play a practical joke on me, and had +snared a common cowbird and dyed or painted its tail a brilliant +scarlet, then liberated it, expecting that I should meet with it in my +day's rambles and bird-watching in the plantation and would be greatly +excited at the discovery of yet a third purple cowbird, with a scarlet +tail, but otherwise not distinguishable from the common one. Now, on +reflection, he was glad I had not found their bird and given them +their laugh, and he was ashamed at having tried to play such a mean +trick on me! + + + + +CHAPTER XX + +BIRDING IN THE MARSHES + +Visiting the marshes--Pajonales and Juncales--Abundant bird life--A +Coots' metropolis--Frightening the Coots--Grebe and Painted Snipe +colonies--The haunt of the Social Marsh Hawk--The beautiful Jacana and +its eggs--The colony of Marsh Trupials--The bird's music--The aquatic +plant Durasmillo--The Trupial's nest and eggs--Recalling a beauty that +has vanished--Our games with gaucho boys--I am injured by a bad boy-- +The shepherd's advice--Getting my revenge in a treacherous manner--Was +it right or wrong?--The game of Hunting the Ostrich. + + + +At this time of my boy-life most of the daylight hours were spent out +of doors, as when not watching the birds in our plantation or asked to +go and look at the flock grazing somewhere a mile or so from home, in +the absence of the shepherd or his boy, I was always away somewhere on +the plain with my small brother on egg-hunting or other expeditions. +In the spring and summer we often visited the lagoons or marshes, the +most fascinating places I knew on account of their abundant wild bird +life. There were four of these lagoons, all in different directions +and all within two or three miles from home. They were shallow +lakelets, called _lagunas,_ each occupying an area of three or four +hundred acres, with some open water and the rest overgrown with bright +green sedges in dense beds, called _pajonales,_ and immense beds of +bulrushes, called _juncales._ These last were always the best to +explore when the water was not deeper than the saddle-girth, and where +the round dark polished stems, crowned with their bright brown tufts, +were higher than our heads when we urged our horses through them. +These were the breeding-places of some small birds that had their +beautifully-made nests a couple of feet or so above the water, +attached in some cases to single, in others to two or three, rush +stems. And here, too, we found the nests of several large species-- +egret, night-heron, cormorant, and occasionally a hawk--birds which +build on trees in forest districts, but here on the treeless region of +the pampas they made their nests among the rushes. The fourth lakelet +had no rush-or sedge-beds and no reeds, and was almost covered with a +luxuriant growth of the floating _camalote,_ a plant which at a +distance resembles the wild musk or mimulus in its masses of bright +green leaves and brilliant yellow blossoms. This, too, was a +fascinating spot, as it swarmed with birds, some of them being kinds +which did not breed in the reeds and rushes. It was a sort of +metropolis of the coots, and before and after the breeding season they +would congregate in flocks of many hundreds on the low wet shore, +where their black forms had a singular appearance on the moist green +turf. It looked to me like a reproduction in small size of a scene I +had witnessed--the vast level green pampa with a scattered herd of two +or three thousand black cattle grazing on it, on a large cattle estate +where only black beasts were bred. We always thought it great fun when +we found a big assembly of coots at some distance from the margin. +Whipping up our horses, we would suddenly charge the flock to see them +run and fly in a panic to the lake and rush over the open water, +striking the surface with their feet and raising a perfect cloud of +spray behind them. + +Coots, however, were common everywhere, but this water was the only +breeding-place of the grebe in our neighbourhood; yet here we could +find scores of nests any day--scores with eggs and a still greater +number of false nests, and we could never tell which had eggs in it +before pulling off the covering of wet weeds. Another bird rarely seen +at any other spot than this was the painted snipe, a prettily-marked +species with a green curved bill. It has curiously sluggish habits, +rising only when almost trodden upon, and going off in a wild sacred +manner like a nocturnal species, then dropping again into hiding at a +short distance. The natives call it _dormilon_--sleepy-head. On one +side of the lagoon, where the ground was swampy and wet, there was +always a breeding-colony of these quaint birds; at every few yards one +would spring up close to the hoofs, and dismounting we would find the +little nest on the wet ground under the grass, always with two eggs so +thickly blotched all over with black as to appear almost entirely +black. + +There were other rushy lagoons at a greater distance which we visited +only at long intervals, and one of these I must describe, as it was +almost more attractive than any one of the others on account of its +bird life. Here, too, there were some kinds which we never found +breeding elsewhere. + +It was smaller than the other lagoons I have described and much +shallower, so that the big birds, such as the stork, wood-ibis, +crested screamer, and the great blue ibis, called _vanduria,_ and the +roseate spoonbill, could wade almost all over it without wetting their +feathers. It was one of those lakes which appear to be drying up, and +was pretty well covered with a growth of _camalote_ plant, mixed with +reed, sedge, and bulrush patches. It was the only water in our part of +the country where the large water-snail was found, and the snails had +brought the bird that feeds on them--the large social marsh hawk, a +slate-coloured bird resembling a buzzard in its size and manner of +flight. But being exclusively a feeder on snails, it lives in peace +and harmony with the other bird inhabitants of the marsh. There was +always a colony of forty or fifty of these big hawks to be seen at +this spot. A still more interesting bird was the jacana, as it is +spelt in books, but pronounced ya-sa-NA by the Indians of Paraguay, a +quaint rail-like bird supposed to be related to the plover family: +black and maroon-red in colour, the wing-quills a shining greenish +yellow, it has enormously long toes, spurs on its wings, and yellow +wattles on its face. Here I first saw this strange beautiful fowl, and +here to my delight I found its nest in three consecutive summers, with +three or four clay-coloured eggs spotted with chestnut-red. + +Here, too, was the breeding-place of the beautiful black-and-white +stilt, and of other species too many to mention. But my greatest +delight was in finding breeding in this place a bird I loved more than +all the others I have named--a species of marsh trupial, a bird about +the size of the common cowbird, and like it, of a uniform deep purple, +but with a cap of chestnut-coloured feathers on its head. I loved this +bird for its song--the peculiar delicate tender opening notes and +trills. In spring and autumn large flocks would occasionally visit our +plantation, and the birds in hundreds would settle on a tree and all +sing together, producing a marvellous and beautiful noise, as of +hundreds of small bells all ringing at one time. It was by the water I +first found their breeding-place, where about three or four hundred +birds had their nests quite near together, and nests and eggs and the +plants on which they were placed, with the solicitous purple birds +flying round me, made a scene of enchanting beauty. The nesting-site +was on a low swampy piece of ground grown over with a semi-aquatic +plant called _durasmillo_ in the vernacular. It has a single white +stalk, woody in appearance, two to three feet high, and little +thicker than a man's middle finger, with a palm-like crown of large +loose lanceolate leaves, so that it looks like a miniature palm, or +rather an ailanthus tree, which has a slender perfectly white bole. +The solanaceous flowers are purple, and it bears fruit the size of +cherries, black as jet, in clusters of three to five or six. In this +forest of tiny palms the nests were hanging, attached to the boles, +where two or three grew close together; it was a long and deep nest, +skilfully made of dry sedge leaves woven together, and the eggs were +white or skim-milk blue spotted with black at the large end. + +That enchanting part of the marsh, with its forest of graceful +miniature trees, where the social trupials sang and wove their nests +and reared their young in company--that very spot is now, I dare say, +one immense field of corn, lucerne, or flax, and the people who now +live and labour there know nothing of its former beautiful +inhabitants, nor have they ever seen or even heard of the purple- +plumaged trupial, with its chestnut cap and its delicate trilling +song. And when I recall these vanished scenes, those rushy and flowery +meres, with their varied and multitudinous wild bird life--the cloud +of shining wings, the heart-enlivening wild cries, the joy unspeakable +it was to me in those early years--I am glad to think I shall never +revisit them, that I shall finish my life thousands of miles removed +from them, cherishing to the end in my heart the image of a beauty +which has vanished from earth. + +My elder brother occasionally accompanied us on our egg-hunting visits +to the lagoons, and he also joined us in our rides to the two or three +streams where we used to go to bathe and fish; but he took no part in +our games and pastimes with the gaucho boys: they were beneath him. We +ran races on our ponies, and when there were race-meetings in our +neighbourhood my father would give us a little money to go and enter +our ponies in a boys' race. We rarely won when there were any stakes, +as the native boys were too clever on horseback for us, and had all +sorts of tricks to prevent us from winning, even when our ponies were +better than theirs. We also went tinamou, or partridge, catching, and +sometimes we had sham fights with lances, or long canes with which we +supplied the others. These games were very rough, and one day when we +were armed, not with canes but long straight pliant green poplar +boughs we had cut for the purpose, we were having a running fight, +when one of the boys got in a rage with me for some reason and, +dropping behind, then coming quietly up, gave me a blow on the face +and head with his stick which sent me flying off my pony. They all +dashed on, leaving me there to pick myself up, and mounting my pony I +went home crying with pain and rage. The blow had fallen on my head, +but the pliant stick had come down over my face from the forehead to +the chin, taking the skin off. On my way back I met our shepherd and +told him my story, and said I would go to the boy's parents to tell +them. He advised me not to do so; he said I must learn to take my own +part, and if any one injured me and I wanted him punished I must do +the punishing myself. If I made any fuss and complaint about it I +should only get laughed at, and he would go scot free. What, then, was +I to do? I asked, seeing that he was older and stronger than myself, +and had his heavy whip and knife to defend himself against attack. + +"Oh, don't be in a hurry to do it," he returned. "Wait for an +opportunity, even if you have to wait for days; and when it comes, do +to him just what he did to you. Don't warn him, but simply knock him +off his horse, and then you will be quits." + +Now this shepherd was a good man, much respected by every one, and I +was glad that in his wisdom and sympathy he had put such a simple, +easy plan into my head, and I dried my tears and went home and washed +the blood from my face, and when asked how I had got that awful wound +that disfigured me I made light of it. Two days later my enemy +appeared on the scene. I heard his voice outside the gate calling to +some one, and peering out I saw him sitting on his horse. His guilty +conscience made him afraid to dismount, but he was anxious to find out +what was going to be done about his treatment of me, also, if he could +see me, to discover my state of mind after two days. + +I went out to the timber pile and selected a bamboo cane about twenty +feet long, not too heavy to be handled easily, and holding it up like +a lance I marched to the gate and started swinging it round as I +approached him, and showing a cheerful countenance. "What are you +going to do with that cane?" he shouted, a little apprehensively. +"Wait and see," I returned. "Something to make you laugh." Then, after +whirling it round half a dozen times more, I suddenly brought it down +on his head with all my force, and did exactly what I had been +counselled to do by the wise shepherd--knocked him clean off his +horse. But he was not stunned, and starting up in a screeching fury, +he pulled out his knife to kill me. And I, for strategic reasons, +retreated, rather hastily. But his wild cries quickly brought several +persons on the scene, and, recovering courage, I went back and said +triumphantly, "Now we are quits!" Then my father was called and asked +to judge between us, and after hearing both sides he smiled and said +his judgment was not needed, that we had already settled it all +ourselves, and there was nothing now between us. I laughed, and he +glared at me, and mounting his horse, rode off without another word. +It was, however, only because he was suffering from the blow on his +head; when I met him we were good friends again. + +More than once during my life, when recalling that episode, I have +asked myself if I did right in taking the shepherd's advice? Would it +have been better, when I went out to him with the bamboo cane, and he +asked me what I was going to do with it, if I had gone up to him and +shown him my face with that broad band across it from the chin to the +temple, where the skin had come off and a black crust had formed, and +had said to him: "This is the mark of the blow you gave me the day +before yesterday, when you knocked me off my horse; you see it is on +the right side of my face and head; now take the cane and give me +another blow on the left side"? Tolstoy (my favourite author, by the +way) would have answered: "Yes, certainly it would have been better +for you--better for your soul." Nevertheless, I still ask myself: +"Would it?" and if this incident should come before me half a second +before my final disappearance from earth, I should still be in doubt. + +One of our favourite games at this period--the only game on foot we +ever played with the gaucho boys--was hunting the ostrich. To play +this game we had bolas, only the balls at the end of the thong were +not of lead like those with which the grown-up gaucho hunter captures +the real ostrich or rhea. We used light wood to make balls, so as not +to injure each other. The fastest boy was chosen to play the ostrich, +and would be sent off to roam ostrich-fashion on the plain, pretending +to pick clover from the ground as he walked in a stooping attitude, or +making little runs and waving his arms about like wings, then standing +erect and mimicking the hollow booming sounds the cock bird emits when +calling the flock together. + +The hunters would then come on the scene and the chase begin, the +ostrich putting forth all his speed, doubling to this side and that, +and occasionally thinking to escape by hiding, dropping upon the +ground in the shelter of a cardoon thistle, only to jump up again when +the shouts of the hunters drew near, to rush on as before. At +intervals the bolas would come whirling through the air, and he would +dodge or avoid them by a quick turn, but eventually he would be hit +and the thong would wind itself about his legs and down he would come. + +Then the hunters would gather round him, and pulling out their knives +begin operations by cutting off his head; then the body would be cut +up, the wings and breast removed, these being the best parts for +eating, and there would be much talk about the condition and age of +the bird, and so on. Then would come the most exciting part of the +proceedings--the cutting the gizzard open and the examination of its +varied contents; and by and by there would be an exultant shout, and +one of the boys would pretend to come on a valuable find--a big silver +coin perhaps, a _patacon,_ and there would be a great gabble over +it and perhaps a fight for its possession, and they would wrestle and +roll on the grass, struggling for the imaginary coin. That finished, +the dead ostrich would get up and place himself among the hunters, +while the boy who had captured him with his bolas would then play +ostrich, and the chase would begin anew. + +When this game was played I was always chosen as first ostrich, as at +that time I could easily outrun and out-jump any of my gauche +playmates, even those who were three or four years older than myself. +Nevertheless, these games--horse-racing, sham fights, and ostrich- +hunting, and the like--gave me no abiding satisfaction; they were no +sooner over than I would go back, almost with a sense of relief, to my +solitary rambles and bird-watching, and to wishing that the day would +come when my masterful brother would allow me to use a gun and +practise the one sport of wild-duck shooting I desired. + +That was soon to come, and will form the subject of the ensuing +chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +WILD-FOWLING ADVENTURES + +My sporting brother and the armoury--I attend him on his shooting +expeditions--Adventure with Golden Plover--A morning after Wild Duck-- +Our punishment--I learn to shoot--My first gun--My first wild duck--My +ducking tactics--My gun's infirmities--Duck-shooting with a +blunderbus--Ammunition runs out--An adventure with Rosy-bill Duck-- +Coarse gunpowder and home-made shot--The war danger comes our way--We +prepare to defend the house--The danger over and my brother leaves +home. + + + +I have said I was not allowed to shoot before the age of ten, but the +desire had come long before that; I was no more than seven when I used +to wish to be a big, or at all events a bigger, boy, so that, like my +brother, I too might carry a gun and shoot big wild birds. But he said +"No" very emphatically, and there was an end of it. + +He had virtually made himself the owner of all the guns and weapons +generally in the house. These included three fowling-pieces, a rifle, +an ancient Tower musket with a flint-lock--doubtless dropped from the +dead hands of a slain British soldier in one of the fights in Buenos +Ayres in 1807 or 1808; a pair of heavy horse pistols, and a ponderous, +formidable-looking old blunderbuss, wide at the mouth as a tea-cup +saucer. His, too, were the swords. To our native neighbours this +appeared an astonishingly large collection of weapons, for in those +days they possessed no fire-arm except, in some rare instances, a +carbine, brought home by a runaway soldier and kept concealed lest the +authorities should get wind of it. + +As the next best thing to doing the shooting myself, I attended my +brother in his expeditions, to hold his horse or to pick up and carry +the birds, and was deeply grateful to him for allowing me to serve him +in this humble capacity. We had some exciting adventures together. One +summer day he came rushing home to get his gun, having just seen an +immense flock of golden plover come down at a spot a mile or so from +home. With his gun and a sack to put the birds in, he mounted his +pony, I with him, as our ponies were accustomed to carry two and even +three at a pinch. We found the flock where he had seen it alight-- +thousands of birds evenly scattered, running about busily feeding on +the wet level ground. + +The bird I speak of is the _Charadrius dominicanca_, which breeds in +Arctic America and migrates in August and September to the plains of +La Plata and Patagonia, so that it travels about sixteen thousand +miles every year. In appearance it is so like our golden plover, +_Charadrius pluvialis_, as to be hardly distinguishable from it. The +birds were quite tame: all our wild birds were if anything too tame, +although not _shockingly_ so as Alexander Selkirk found them on his +island--the poet's, not the real Selkirk. The birds being so +scattered, all he could do was to lie flat down and fire with the +barrel of his fowling-piece level with the flock, and the result was +that the shot cut through the loose flock to a distance of thirty or +forty yards, dropping thirty-nine birds, which we put into the sack, +and remounting our pony set off home at a fast gallop. We were riding +barebacked, and as our pony's back had a forward slope we slipped +further and further forward until we were almost on his neck, and I, +sitting behind my brother, shouted for him to stop. But he had his gun +in one hand and the sack in the other, and had lost the reins; the +pony, however, appeared to have understood, as he came to a dead stop +of his own accord on the edge of a rain-pool, into which we were +pitched headlong. When I raised my head I saw the bag of birds at my +side, and the gun lying under water at a little distance; about three +yards further on my brother was just sitting up, with the water +streaming from his long hair, and a look of astonishment on his face. +But the pool was quite clean, with the soft grass for bottom, and we +were not hurt. + +However, we did sometimes get into serious trouble. On one occasion he +persuaded me and the little brother to accompany him on a secret +shooting expedition he had planned. We were to start on horseback +before daybreak, ride to one of the marshes about two miles from home, +shoot a lot of duck, and get back about breakfast-time. The main thing +was to keep the plan secret, then it would be all right, since the +sight of the number of wild duck we should have to show on our return +would cause our escapade to be overlooked. + +In the evening, instead of liberating our ponies as usual, we took and +tethered them in the plantation, and next morning about three o'clock +we crept cautiously out of the house and set off on our adventure. It +was a winter morning, misty and cold when the light came, and the +birds were excessively wild at that hour. In vain we followed the +flocks, my brother stalking them through the sedges, above his knees +in the water; not a bird could he get, and at last we were obliged to +go back empty-handed to face the music. At half-past ten we rode to +the door, wet and hungry and miserable, to find the whole house in a +state of commotion at our disappearance. When we were first missed in +the morning, one of the workmen reported that he had seen us taking +our horses to conceal them in the plantation at a little after dark, +and it was assumed that we had run away--that we had gone south where +the country was more thinly settled and wild animals more abundant, in +quest of new and more stirring adventures. They were greatly relieved +to see us back, but as we had no ducks to placate them we could not be +forgiven, and as a punishment we had to go breakfastless that day, and +our leader was in addition sternly lectured and forbidden to use a gun +for the future. + +We thought this a very hard thing, and for the following days were +inclined to look at life as a rather tame, insipid business; but soon, +to our joy, the ban was removed. In forbidding us the use of the guns +my father had punished himself as well as us, since he never +thoroughly enjoyed a meal--breakfast, dinner, or supper--unless he had +a bird on the table, wild duck, plover, or snipe. A cold roast duck +was his favourite breakfast dish, and he was never quite happy when he +didn't get it. + +Still, I was not happy, and could not be so long as I was not allowed +to shoot. It was a privilege to be allowed to attend, but it seemed to +me that at the age of ten I was quite old enough to have a gun. I had +been a rider on horseback since the age of six, and in some exercises +I was not much behind my brother, although when we practised with the +foils or with the gloves he punished me in rather a barbarous manner. +He was my guide and philosopher, and had also been a better friend +ever since our fight with knives and the cowbird episode; nevertheless +he still managed to dissemble his love, and when I revolted against +his tyranny I generally got well punished for it. + +About that time an old friend of the family, who took an interest in +me and wished to do something to encourage me in my natural history +tastes, made me a present of a set of pen-and-ink drawings. There was, +however, nothing in these pictures to help me in the line I had taken: +they were mostly architectural drawings made by himself of buildings-- +houses, churches, castles, and so on, but my brother fell in love with +them and began to try to get them from me. He could not rest without +them, and was continually offering me something of his own in exchange +for them; but though I soon grew tired of looking at them I refused to +part with them, either because his anxiety to have them gave them a +fictitious value in my sight, or because it was pleasing to be able to +inflict a little pain on him in return for the many smarts I had +suffered at his hands. At length one day, finding me still unmoved, he +all at once offered to teach me to shoot and to allow me the use of +one of the guns in exchange for the pictures. I could hardly believe +my good fortune: it would have surprised me less if he had offered to +give me his horse with "saddle and bridle also." + +As soon as the drawings were in his hand he took me to our gun-room +and gave me a quite unneeded lesson in the art of loading a gun--first +so much powder, then a wad well rammed down with the old obsolete +ramrod; then so much shot and a second wad and ramming down; then a +percussion cap on the nipple. He then led the way to the plantation, +and finding two wild pigeons sitting together in a tree, he ordered me +to fire. I fired, and one fell, quite dead, and that completed my +education, for now he declared he was not going to waste any more time +on my instruction. + +The gun he had told me to use was a single-barrel fowling-piece, an +ancient converted flintlock, the stock made of an iron-hard black wood +with silver mountings. When I stood it up and measured myself by it I +found it was nearly two inches taller than I was, but it was light to +carry and served me well: I became as much attached to it as to any +living thing, and it was like a living being to me, and I had great +faith in its intelligence. + +My chief ambition was to shoot wild duck. My brother shot them in +preference to anything else: they were so much esteemed and he was so +much commended when he came in with a few in his bag that I looked on +duck-shooting as the greatest thing I could go in for. Ducks were +common enough with us and in great variety; I know not in what country +more kinds are to be found. There were no fewer than five species of +teal, the commonest a dark brown bird with black mottlings; another, +very common, was pale grey, the plumage beautifully barred and +pencilled with brown and black; then we had the blue-winged teal, a +maroon-red duck which ranges from Patagonia to California; the ringed +teal, with salmon-coloured breast and velvet-black collar; the +Brazilian teal, a lovely olive-brown and velvet-black duck, with +crimson beak and legs. There were two pintails, one of which was the +most abundant species in the country; also a widgeon, a lake duck, a +shoveller duck, with red plumage, grey head and neck, and blue wings; +and two species of the long-legged whistling or tree duck. Another +common species was the rosy-billed duck, now to be seen on ornamental +waters in England; and occasionally we saw the wild Muscovy duck, +called Royal duck by the natives, but it was a rare visitor so far +south. We also had geese and swans: the upland geese from the +Megellanic Straits that came to us in winter--that is to say, our +winter from May to August. And there were two swans, the black-necked, +which has black flesh and is unfit to eat, and the white or Coscoroba +Swan, as good a table bird as there is in the world. And oddly enough +this bird has been known to the natives as a "goose" since the +discovery of America, and now after three centuries our scientific +ornithologists have made the discovery that it is a link between the +geese and swans, but is more goose than swan. It is a beautiful white +bird, with bright red bill and legs, the wings tipped with black; and +has a loud musical cry of three notes, the last prolonged note with a +falling inflection. + +These were the birds we sought after in winter; but we could shoot for +the table all the year round, for no sooner was it the duck's pairing +and breeding season than another bird-population from their breeding- +grounds in the arctic and sub-arctic regions came on the scene-- +plover, sandpiper, godwit, curlew, whimbrel,--a host of northern +species that made the summer-dried pampas their winter abode. + +My first attempt at duck-shooting was made at a pond not many minutes' +walk from the house, where I found a pair of shoveller ducks, feeding +in their usual way in the shallow water with head and neck immersed. +Anxious not to fail in this first trial, I got down flat on the ground +and crawled snake-fashion for a distance of fifty or sixty yards, +until I was less than twenty yards from the birds, when I fired and +killed one. + +That first duck was a great joy, and having succeeded so well with my +careful tactics, I continued in the same way, confining my attention +to pairs or small parties of three or four birds, when by patiently +creeping a long distance through the grass I could get very close to +them. In this way I shot teal, widgeon, pintail, shovellers, and +finally the noble rosy-bill, which was esteemed for the table above +all the others. + +My brother, ambitious of a big bag, invariably went a distance from +home in quest of the large flocks, and despised my way of duck- +shooting; but it sometimes vexed him to find on his return from a +day's expedition that I had succeeded in getting as many birds as +himself without having gone much more than a mile from home. + +Some months after I had started shooting I began to have trouble with +my beloved gun, owing to a weakness it had developed in its lock--one +of the infirmities incidental to age which the gunsmiths of Buenos +Ayres were never able to cure effectually. Whenever it got bad I was +permitted to put it into the cart sent to town periodically, to have +it repaired, and would then go gunless for a week or ten days. On one +of these occasions I one day saw a party of shoveller duck dibbling in +a small rain-pool at the side of the plantation, within a dozen yards +of the old moat which surrounded it. Ducks always appeared to be +exceptionally tame and bold when I was without a gun, but the boldness +of those shovellers was more than I could stand, and running to the +house I got out the old blunderbuss, which I had never been forbidden +to use, since no one had ever thought it possible that I should want +to use such a monster of a gun. But I was desperate, and loading it +for the first (and last) time, I went after those shovellers. + +I had once been told that it would be impossible to shoot wild duck or +anything with the blunderbuss unless one could get within a dozen +yards of them, on account of its tremendous scattering power. Well, by +going along the bottom of the moat, which was luckily without water +just then, I could get as near the birds as I liked and kill the whole +flock. When I arrived abreast of the pool I crept up the grassy +crumbling outside bank, and resting the ponderous barrel on the top of +the bank, fired at the shovellers at a distance of about fifteen +yards, and killed nothing, but received a kick which sent me flying to +the bottom of the foss. It was several days before I got over that +pain in my shoulder. + +Later on there was a period of trouble and scarcity in the land. There +was war, and the city from which we obtained our supplies was besieged +by an army from the "upper provinces" which had come down to break the +power and humble the pride of Buenos Ayres. Our elders missed their +tea and coffee most, but our anxiety was that we should soon be +without powder and shot. My brother constantly warned me not to be so +wasteful, although he fired half a dozen shots to my one without +getting more birds for the table. At length there came a day when +there was little shot left--just about enough to fill one shot-pouch-- +and knowing it was his intention to have a day out, I sneaked into the +gun-room and loaded my fowling-piece just to have one shot more. He +was going to try for upland geese that day, and, as I had expected, +carried off all the shot. + +After he had gone I took my gun, and being determined to make the most +of my one shot, refused to be tempted by any of the small parties of +duck I found in the pools near home, even when they appeared quite +tame. At length I encountered a good-sized flock of rosy-bills by the +side of a marshy stream about two miles from home. It was a still, +warm day in mid-winter, and the ducks were dozing on the green bank in +a beautiful crowd, and as the land near them was covered with long +grass, I saw it would be possible to get quite close to them. Leaving +my pony at a good distance, I got down flat on the ground and began my +long laborious crawl, and got within twenty-five yards of the flock. +Never had I had such a chance before! As I peeped through the grass +and herbage I imagined all sorts of delightful things--my brother far +away vainly firing long shots at the wary geese, and his return and +disgust at the sight of my heap of noble rosy-bills, all obtained near +home at one shot! + +Then I fired just as the birds, catching sight of my cap, raised their +long necks in alarm. Bang! Up they rose with a noise of wings, leaving +not one behind! Vainly I watched the flock, thinking that some of the +birds I must have hit would soon be seen to waver in their course and +then drop to earth. But none wavered or fell. I went home as much +puzzled as disappointed. Late in the day my brother returned with one +upland goose and three or four ducks, and inquired if I had had any +luck. I told him my sad story, whereupon he burst out laughing and +informed me that he had taken care to draw the shot from my gun before +going out. He was up to my little tricks, he said; he had seen what I +had done, and was not going to allow me to waste the little shot we +had left! + +Our duck-shooting was carried on under difficulties during those days. +We searched for ammunition at all the houses for some leagues around, +and at one house we found and purchased a quantity of exceedingly +coarse gunpowder, with grain almost the size of canary-seed. They told +us it was cannon-powder, and to make it fit for use in our fowling- +pieces we ground it fine with glass and stone bottles for rollers on a +tin plate. Shot we could not find, so had to make it for ourselves by +cutting up plates of lead into small square bits with a knife and +hammer. + +Eventually the civil war, which had dragged on for a long time, +brought an unexpected danger to our house and caused us to turn our +minds to more important things than ducks. I have said that the city +was besieged by an army from the provinces, but away on the southern +frontier of the province of Buenos Ayres the besieged party, or +faction, had a powerful friend in an estanciero in those parts who was +friendly with the Indians, and who collected an army of Indians hungry +for loot, and gauchos, mostly criminals and deserters, who in those +days were accustomed to come from all parts of the country to put +themselves under the protection of this good man. + +This horde of robbers and enthusiasts was now advancing upon the +capital to raise the siege, and each day brought us alarming reports-- +whether true or false we could not know--of depredations they were +committing on their march. The good man, their commander, was not a +soldier, and there was no pretence of discipline of any kind; the men, +it was said, did what they liked, swarming over the country on the +line of march in bands, sacking and burning houses, killing or driving +off the cattle, and so on. Our house was unfortunately on the main +road running south from the capital, and directly in the way of the +coming rabble. That the danger was a real and very great one we could +see in the anxious faces of our elders; besides, nothing was now +talked of but the coming army and of all we had to fear. + +At this juncture my brother took it upon himself to make preparations +for the defence of the house Our oldest brother was away, shut up in +the besieged city, but the three of us at home determined to make a +good fight, and we set to work cleaning and polishing up our firearms- +the Tower musket, the awful blunderbuss, the three fowling-pieces, +double and single-barrelled, and the two big horse-pistols and an old +revolver. We collected all the old lead we could find about the place +and made bullets in a couple of bullet-moulds we had found--one for +ounce and one for small bullets, three to the ounce. The fire to melt +the lead was in a shelter we had made behind an outhouse, and here one +day, in spite of all our precautions, we were discovered at work, with +rows and pyramids of shining bullets round us, and our secret was out. +We were laughed at as a set of young fools for our pains. "Never +mind," said my brother. "Let them mock now; by and by when it comes to +choosing between having our throats cut and defending ourselves, they +will probably be glad the bullets were made." + +But though they laughed, our work was not interfered with, and some +hundreds of bullets were turned out and made quite a pretty show. + +Meanwhile the besiegers were not idle: they had in their army a +cavalry officer who had had a long experience of frontier warfare and +had always been successful in his fights with the pampas Indians; and +this man, with a picked force composed of veteran fighters, was +dispatched against the barbarians. They had already crossed the Salado +river and were within two or three easy marches of us, when the small +disciplined force met and gave them battle and utterly routed them. +Indians and gauchos were sent flying south like thistle-down before +the wind; but all being well-mounted, not many were killed. + +So ended that danger, and I think we boys were all a little +disappointed that no use had been made of our bright beautiful +bullets. I am sure my brother was; but soon after that he left home +for a distant country, and our shooting and other adventures together +were ended for ever. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + +BOYHOOD'S END + +The book--The Saledero, or killing-grounds, and their smell--Walls +built of bullocks' skulls--A pestilential city--River water and Aljibe +water--Days of lassitude--Novel scenes--Home again--Typhus--My first +day out--Birthday reflections--What I asked of life--A boy's mind--A +brother's resolution--End of our thousand and one nights--A reading +spell--My boyhood ends in disaster. + + + +This book has already run to a greater length than was intended; +nevertheless there must be yet another chapter or two to bring it to a +proper ending, which I can only find by skipping over three years of +my life, and so getting at once to the age of fifteen. For that was a +time of great events and serious changes, bodily and mental, which +practically brought the happy time of my boyhood to an end. + +On looking back over the book, I find that on three or four occasions +I have placed some incident in the wrong chapter or group, thus making +it take place a year or so too soon or too late. These small errors of +memory are, however, not worth altering now: so long as the scene or +event is rightly remembered and pictured it doesn't matter much +whether I was six or seven, or eight years old at the time. I find, +too, that I have omitted many things which perhaps deserved a place in +the book--scenes and events which are vividly remembered, but which +unfortunately did not come up at the right moment, and so were left +out. + +Of these scenes unconsciously omitted, I will now give one which +should have appeared in the chapter describing my first visit to +Buenos Ayres city: placed here it will serve very well as an +introduction to this last chapter. + +In those days, and indeed down to the seventies of last century, the +south side of the capital was the site of the famous Saladero, or +killing-grounds, where the fat cattle, horses and sheep brought in +from all over the country were slaughtered every day, some to supply +the town with beef and mutton and to make _charque,_ or sun-dried +beef, for exportation to Brazil, where it was used to feed the slaves, +but the greater number of the animals, including all the horses, were +killed solely for their hides and tallow. The grounds covered a space +of three or four square miles, where there were cattle enclosures made +of upright posts placed close together, and some low buildings +scattered about To this spot were driven endless flocks of sheep, half +or wholly wild horses and dangerous-looking, long-horned cattle in +herds of a hundred or so to a thousand, each moving in its cloud of +dust, with noise of bellowings and bleatings and furious shouting of +the drovers as they galloped up and down, urging the doomed animals +on. When the beasts arrived in too great numbers to be dealt with in +the buildings, you could see hundreds of cattle being killed in the +open all over the grounds in the old barbarous way the gauchos use, +every animal being first lassoed, then hamstrung, then its throat cut +--a hideous and horrible spectacle, with a suitable accompaniment of +sounds in the wild shouts of the slaughterers and the awful bellowings +of the tortured beasts. Just where the animal was knocked down and +killed, it was stripped of its hide and the carcass cut up, a portion +of the flesh and the fat being removed and all the rest left on the +ground to be devoured by the pariah dogs, the carrion hawks, and a +multitude of screaming black-headed gulls always in attendance. The +blood so abundantly shed from day to day, mixing with the dust, had +formed a crust half a foot thick all over the open space: let the +reader try to imagine the smell of this crust and of tons of offal and +flesh and bones lying everywhere in heaps. But no, it cannot be +imagined. The most dreadful scenes, the worst in Dante's _Inferno_, +for example, can be visualized by the inner eye; and sounds, too, are +conveyed to us in a description so that they can be heard mentally; +but it is not so with smells. The reader can only take my word for it +that this smell was probably the worst ever known on the earth, unless +he accepts as true the story of Tobit and the "fishy fumes" by means +of which that ancient hero defended himself in his retreat from the +pursuing devil. + +It was the smell of carrion, of putrifying flesh, and of that old and +ever-newly moistened crust of dust and coagulated blood. It was, or +seemed, a curiously substantial and stationary smell; travellers +approaching or leaving the capital by the great south road, which +skirted the killing-grounds, would hold their noses and ride a mile or +so at a furious gallop until they got out of the abominable stench. + +One extraordinary feature of the private _quintas_ or orchards and +plantations in the vicinity of the Saladeros was the walls or hedges. +These were built entirely of cows' skulls, seven, eight, or nine deep, +placed evenly like stones, the horns projecting. Hundreds of thousands +of skulls had been thus used, and some of the old, very long walls, +crowned with green grass and with creepers and wild flowers growing +from the cavities in the bones, had a strangely picturesque but +somewhat uncanny appearance. As a rule there were rows of old Lombardy +poplars behind these strange walls or fences. + +In those days bones were not utilized: they were thrown away, and +those who wanted walls in a stoneless land, where bricks and wood for +palings were dear to buy, found in the skulls a useful substitute. + +The abomination I have described was but one of many--the principal +and sublime stench in a city of evil smells, a populous city built on +a plain without drainage and without water-supply beyond that which +was sold by watermen in buckets, each bucketful containing about half +a pound of red clay in solution. It is true that the best houses had +_algibes,_ or cisterns, under the courtyard, where the rainwater from +the flat roofs was deposited. I remember that water well: you always +had one or two to half-a-dozen scarlet wrigglers, the larvae of +mosquitoes, in a tumblerful, and you drank your water, quite calmly, +wrigglers and all! + +All this will serve to give an idea of the condition of the city of +that time from the sanitary point of view, and this state of things +lasted down to the 'seventies of the last century, when Buenos Ayres +came to be the chief pestilential city of the globe and was obliged to +call in engineers from England to do something to save the inhabitants +from extinction. + +When I was in my fifteenth year, before any changes had taken place +and the great outbreaks of cholera and yellow fever were yet to come, +I spent four or five weeks in the city, greatly enjoying the novel +scenes and new life. After about ten or twelve days I began to feel +tired and languid, and this feeling grew on me day by day until it +became almost painful to exert myself to visit even my most favoured +haunts--the great South Market, where cage-birds were to be seen in +hundreds, green paroquets, cardinals, and bishop-birds predominating; +or to the river front, where I spent much time fishing for little +silvery king-fishes from the rocks; or further away to the quintas and +gardens on the cliff, where I first feasted my eyes on the sight of +orange groves laden with golden fruit amidst the vivid green polished +foliage, and old olive trees with black egg-shaped fruit showing among +the grey leaves. + +And through it all the feeling of lassitude continued, and was, I +thought, due to the fact that I was on foot instead of on horseback, +and walking on a stony pavement instead of on a green turf. It never +occurred to me that there might be another cause, that I was breathing +in a pestilential atmosphere and that the poison was working in me. + +Leaving town I travelled by some conveyance to spend a night at a +friend's house, and next morning set out for home on horseback. I had +about twenty-seven miles across country to ride and never touched a +road, and I was no sooner on my way than my spirits revived; I was +well and unspeakably happy again, on horseback on the wide green +plain, drinking in the pure air like a draught of eternal life. It was +autumn, and the plain as far as one could see on every side a moist +brilliant green, with a crystal blue sky above, over which floated +shining white clouds. The healthy glad feeling lasted through my ride +and for a day or two after, during which I revisited my favourite +haunts in the grounds, rejoicing to be with my beloved birds and trees +once more. + +Then the hateful town feeling of lassitude returned on me and all my +vigour was gone, all pleasure in life ended. Thereafter for a +fortnight I spent the time moping about the house; then there was a +spell of frosty weather with a bleak cutting wind to tell us that it +was winter, which even in those latitudes can be very cold. One day +after early dinner my mother and sisters went in the carriage to pay a +visit to a neighbouring estancia, and my brothers being out or absent +from home I was left alone. The verandah appeared to me the warmest +place I could find, as the sun shone on it warm and bright, and there +I settled down on a chair placed against the wall at the side of a +heap of sacks of meal or something which had been left there, and +formed a nice shelter from the wind. + +The house was strangely quiet, and the westering sun shining full on +me made me feel quite comfortable, and in a little while I fell +asleep. The sun set and it grew bitterly cold, but I did not wake, and +when my mother returned and inquired for me I could not be found. +Finally the whole household turned out with lanterns and searched for +me up and down through the plantation, and the hunt was still going on +when, about ten o'clock at night, some one hurrying along the verandah +stumbled on me in my sheltered corner by the sacks, still in my chair +but unconscious and in a burning fever. It was the dread typhus, an +almost obsolete malady in Europe, and in fact in all civilized +countries, but not uncommon at that date in the pestilential city. It +was wonderful that I lived through it in a place where we were out of +reach of doctors and apothecaries, with only my mother's skill in +nursing and her knowledge of such drugs as were kept in the house to +save me. She nursed me day and night for the three weeks during which +the fever lasted, and when it left me, a mere shadow of my former +self, I was dumb-not even a little Yes or No could I articulate +however hard I tried, and it was at last concluded that I would never +speak again. However, after about a fortnight, the lost faculty came +back, to my mother's inexpressible joy. + +Winter was nearing its end when one morning in late July I ventured +out of doors for the first time, though still but a skeleton, a shadow +of my former self. It was a windy day of brilliant sunshine, a day I +shall never forget, and the effect of the air and the sun and smell of +earth and early flowers, and the sounds of wild birds, with the sight +of the intensely green young grass and the vast crystal dome of heaven +above, was like deep draughts of some potent liquor that made the +blood dance in my veins. Oh what an inexpressible, immeasurable joy to +be alive and not dead, to have my feet still on the earth, and drink +in the wind and sunshine once more! But the pleasure was more than I +could endure in that feeble state; the chilly wind pierced me like +needles of ice, my senses swam, and I would have fallen to the ground +if my elder brother had not caught me in his arms and taken me back to +the house. + +In spite of that fainting fit I was happy again with the old +happiness, and from day to day I regained strength, until one day in +early August I was suddenly reminded that it was my anniversary by my +brothers and sisters all coming to me with birthday presents, which +they had been careful to provide beforehand, and congratulations on my +recovery. + +Fifteen years old! This was indeed the most memorable day of my life, +for on that evening I began to think about myself, and my thoughts +were strange and unhappy thoughts to me-what I was, what I was in the +world for, what I wanted, what destiny was going to make of me! Or was +it for me to do just what I wished, to shape my own destiny, as my +elder brothers had done? It was the first time such questions had come +to me, and I was startled at them. It was as though I had only just +become conscious; I doubt that I had ever been fully conscious before. +I had lived till now in a paradise of vivid sense-impressions in which +all thoughts came to me saturated with emotion, and in that mental +state reflection is well-nigh impossible. Even the idea of death, +which had come as a surprise, had not made me reflect. Death was a +person, a monstrous being who had sprung upon me in my flowery +paradise and had inflicted a wound with a poisoned dagger in my flesh. +Then had come the knowledge of immortality for the soul, and the wound +was healed, or partly so, for a time at all events; after which the +one thought that seriously troubled me was that I could not always +remain a boy. To pass from boyhood to manhood was not so bad as dying; +nevertheless it was a change painful to contemplate. That everlasting +delight and wonder, rising to rapture, which was in the child and boy +would wither away and vanish, and in its place there would be that +dull low kind of satisfaction which men have in the set task, the +daily and hourly intercourse with others of a like condition, and in +eating and drinking and sleeping. I could not, for example, think of +so advanced an age as fifteen without the keenest apprehension. And +now I was actually at that age-at that parting of the ways, as it +seemed to me. + +What, then, did I want?-what did I ask to have? If the question had +been put to me then, and if I had been capable of expressing what was +in me, I should have replied: I want only to keep what I have; to rise +each morning and look out on the sky and the grassy dew-wet earth from +day to day, from year to year. To watch every June and July for +spring, to feel the same old sweet surprise and delight at the +appearance of each familiar flower, every new-born insect, every bird +returned once more from the north. To listen in a trance of delight to +the wild notes of the golden plover coming once more to the great +plain, flying, flying south, flock succeeding flock the whole day +long. Oh, those wild beautiful cries of the golden plover! I could +exclaim with Hafiz, with but one word changed: "If after a thousand +years that sound should float o'er my tomb, my bones uprising in their +gladness would dance in the sepulchre!" To climb trees and put my hand +down in the deep hot nest of the Biente-veo and feel the hot eggs--the +five long pointed cream-coloured eggs with chocolate spots and +splashes at the larger end. To lie on a grassy bank with the blue +water between me and beds of tall bulrushes, listening to the +mysterious sounds of the wind and of hidden rails and coots and +courlans conversing together in strange human-like tones; to let my +sight dwell and feast on the _camalote_ flower amid its floating +masses of moist vivid green leaves--the large alamanda-like flower of +a purest divine yellow that when plucked sheds its lovely petals, to +leave you with nothing but a green stem in your hand. To ride at noon +on the hottest days, when the whole earth is a-glitter with illusory +water, and see the cattle and horses in thousands, covering the plain +at their watering-places; to visit some haunt of large birds at that +still, hot hour and see storks, ibises, grey herons, egrets of a +dazzling whiteness, and rose-coloured spoonbills and flamingoes, +standing in the shallow water in which their motionless forms are +reflected. To lie on my back on the rust-brown grass in January and +gaze up at the wide hot whitey-blue sky, peopled with millions and +myriads of glistening balls of thistle-down, ever, ever floating by; +to gaze and gaze until they are to me living things and I, in an +ecstasy, am with them, floating in that immense shining void! + +And now it seemed that I was about to lose it--this glad emotion which +had made the world what it was to me, an enchanted realm, a nature at +once natural and supernatural; it would fade and lessen imperceptibly +day by day, year by year, as I became more and more absorbed in the +dull business of life, until it would be lost as effectually as if I +had ceased to see and hear and palpitate, and my warm body had grown +cold and stiff in death, and, like the dead and the living, I should +be unconscious of my loss. + +It was not a unique nor a singular feeling: it is known to other boys, +as I have read and heard; also I have occasionally met with one who, +in a rare moment of confidence, has confessed that he has been +troubled at times at the thought of all he would lose. But I doubt +that it was ever more keenly felt than in my case; I doubt, too, that +it is common or strong in English boys, considering the conditions in +which they exist. For restraint is irksome to all beings, from a +black-beetle or an earthworm to an eagle, or, to go higher still in +the scale, to an orang-u-tan or a man; it is felt most keenly by the +young, in our species at all events, and the British boy suffers the +greatest restraint during the period when the call of nature, the +instincts of play and adventure, are most urgent. Naturally, he looks +eagerly forward to the time of escape, which he fondly imagines will +be when his boyhood is over and he is free of masters. + +To come back to my own case: I did not and could not know that it was +an exceptional case, that my feeling for nature was something more +than the sense of pleasure in sun and rain and wind and earth and +water and in liberty of motion, which is universal in children, but +was in part due to a faculty which is not universal or common. The +fear, then, was an idle one, but I had good reason for it when I +considered how it had been with my elder brothers, who had been as +little restrained as myself, especially that masterful adventurous +one, now in a distant country thousands of miles from home, who, at +about the age at which I had now arrived, had made himself his own +master, to do what he liked with his own life. I had seen him at his +parting of the ways, how resolutely he had abandoned his open-air +habits, everything in fact that had been his delight, to settle down +to sheer hard mental work, and this at our home on the pampas where +there were no masters, and even the books and instruments required for +his studies could only be procured with great difficulty and after +long delays. I remember one afternoon when we were gathered in the +dining-room for tea, he was reading, and my mother coming in looked +over his shoulder and said, "You are reading a novel: don't you think +all that romantic stuff will take your mind off your studies?" + +Now he'll flare up, said I to myself; he's so confoundedly independent +and touchy no one can say a word to him. It surprised me when he +answered quietly, "Yes, mother, I know, but I must finish this book +now; it will be the last novel I shall read for some years." And so it +was, I believe. + +His resolution impressed us even more in another matter. He had an +extraordinary talent for inventing stories, mostly of wars and wild +adventures with plenty of fighting in them, and whenever we boys were +all together, which was usually after we had gone to bed and put the +candle out, he would begin one of his wonderful tales and go on for +hours, we all wide awake, listening in breathless silence. At length +towards midnight the flow of the narrative would suddenly stop, and +after an interval we would all begin to cry out to him to go on. "Oh, +you are awake!" he would exclaim, with a chuckle of laughter. "Very +well, then, you know just where we are in our history, to be resumed +another day. Now you can go to sleep." On the following evening he +would take up the tale, which would often last an entire week, to be +followed by another just as long, then another, and so on-our thousand +and one nights. And this delightful yarn-spinning was also dropped as +he became more and more absorbed in his mathematical and other +studies. + +To this day I can recall portions of those tales, especially those in +which birds and beasts instead of men were the actors, and so much did +we miss them that sometimes when we were all assembled of an afternoon +we would start begging him for a story---"just one more, and the +longer the better," we would say to tempt him. And he, a little +flattered at our keen appreciation of his talent as a yarn-spinner, +would appear inclined to yield. "Well, now, what story shall I tell +you?" he would say; and then, just when we were settling down to +listen, he would shout, "No, no, no more stories," and to put the +matter from him he would snatch up a book and order us to hold our +tongues or clear out of the room! + +It was not for me to follow his lead; I had not the intellect or +strength of will for such tasks, and not only on that memorable +evening of my anniversary, but for days afterwards I continued in a +troubled state of mind, ashamed of my ignorance, my indolence, my +disinclination to any kind of mental work-ashamed even to think that +my delight in nature and wish for no other thing in life was merely +due to the fact that while the others were putting away childish +things as they grew up, I alone refused to part with them. + +The result of all these deliberations was that I temporized: I would +not, I could not, give up the rides and rambles that took up most of +my time, but I would try to overcome my disinclination to serious +reading. There were plenty of books in the house-it was always a +puzzle to me how we came to have so many. I was familiar with their +appearance on the shelves-they had been before me since I first opened +my eyes---their shape, size, colour, even their titles, and that was +all I knew about them. A general Natural History and two little works +by James Ronnie on the habits and faculties of birds was all the +literature suited to my wants in the entire collection of three or +four hundred volumes. For the rest, I had read a few story-books and +novels: but we had no novels; when one came into the house it would be +read and lent to our next neighbour five or six miles away, and he in +turn would lend to another, twenty miles further on, and so on until +it disappeared in space. + +I made a beginning with Rollin's _Ancient History_ in two huge quarto +volumes; I fancy it was the large clear type and numerous plates which +illustrated it that determined my choice. Rollin, the good old priest, +opened a new wonderful world to me, and instead of the tedious task I +had feared the reading would prove, it was as delightful as it had +formerly been to listen to my brother's endless histories of imaginary +heroes and their wars and adventures. + +Still athirst for history, after finishing Rollin I began fingering +other works of that kind: there was Whiston's Josephus, too ponderous +a book to be held in the hands when read out of doors; and there was +Gibbon in six stately volumes. I was not yet able to appreciate the +lofty artificial style, and soon fell on something better suited to my +boyish taste in letters---a History of Christianity in, I think, +sixteen or eighteen volumes of a convenient size. The simple natural +diction attracted me, and I was soon convinced that I could not have +stumbled on more fascinating reading than the lives of the Fathers of +the Church included in some of the earlier volumes, especially that of +Augustine, the greatest of all: how beautiful and marvellous his life +was, and his mother Monica's! what wonderful books he wrote!-his +_Confessions and City of God_ from which long excerpts were given +in this volume. + +These biographies sent me to another old book, _Leland on Revelation_, +which told me much I was curious to know about the mythologies and +systems of philosophy of the ancients--the innumerable false cults +which had flourished in a darkened world before the dawn of the true +religion. + +Next came _Carlyle's French Revolution_ and at last Gibbon, and I was +still deep in the _Decline and Fall_ when disaster came to us: my +father was practically ruined, owing, as I have said in a former +chapter, to his childlike trust in his fellow-men, and we quitted the +home he had counted as a permanent one, which in due time would have +become his property had he but made his position secure by a proper +deed on first consenting to take over the place in its then ruinous +condition. + +Thus ended, sadly enough, the enchanting years of my boyhood; and +here, too, the book should finish: but having gone so far, I will +venture a little further and give a brief account of what followed and +the life which, for several succeeding years, was to be mine--the +life, that is to say, of the mind and spirit. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +A DARKENED LIFE + +A severe illness-Case pronounced hopeless-How it affected me-Religious +doubts and a mind distressed-Lawless thoughts--Conversation with an +old gaucho about religion--George Combe and the desire for +immortality. + + + +After we had gone back impoverished to our old home where I first saw +the light-which was still my father's property and all he had left-I +continued my reading, and was so taken up with the affairs of the +universe, seen and unseen, that I did not feel the change in our +position and comforts too greatly. I took my share in the rough work +and was much out-of-doors on horseback looking after the animals, and +not unhappy. I was already very tall and thin at that time, in my +sixteenth year, still growing rapidly, and though athletic, it was +probable that some weakness had been left in me by the fever. At all +events, I had scarcely settled down to the new way of life before a +fresh blow fell upon me, a malady which, though it failed to kill me, +yet made shipwreck of all my new-born earthly hopes and dreams, and a +dismal failure of my after life. + +One day I undertook, unaided, to drive home a small troop of cattle we +had purchased at a distance of a good many leagues, and was in the +saddle from morning till after dark in a continuous flooding rain and +violent wind. The wind was against me, and the beasts were incessantly +trying to turn and rush back to the place they had been taken from, +and the fight with wind and cattle went wearily on, the driving rain +gradually soaking through my woollen poncho, theft through my clothes +to my skin, and trickling down until my long boots were full and +slopping over at the knees. For the last half of that midwinter day my +feet and legs were devoid of feeling. The result of it was rheumatic +fever and years of bad health, with constant attacks of acute pain and +violent palpitation of the heart which would last for hours at a +stretch. From time to time I was sent or taken to consult a doctor in +the city, and in that way from first to last I was in the hands of +pretty well all the English doctors in the place, but they did me no +permanent good, nor did they say anything to give me a hope of +complete recovery. Eventually we were told that it was a practically +hopeless case, that I had "outgrown my strength," and had a +permanently bad heart and might drop down at any moment. + +Naturally this pronouncement had a most disastrous effect on me. That +their diagnosis proved in the end to be wrong mattered nothing, since +the injury had been done and could not be undone if I lived a century. +For the blow had fallen at the most critical period in life, the +period of transition when the newly-awakened mind is in its freshest, +most receptive stage, and is most curious, most eager, when knowledge +is most readily assimilated, and, above everything, when the +foundations of character and the entire life of the man are laid. + +I speak, it will be understood, of a mind that had not been trained or +pressed into a mould or groove by schoolmasters and schools-of a mind +that was a forest wilding rather than a plant, one in ten thousand +like it, grown under glass in a prepared soil, in a nursery. + +That I had to say good-bye to all thoughts of a career, all bright +dreams of the future which recent readings had put into my mind, was +not felt as the chief loss, it was in fact a small matter compared +with the dreadful thought that I must soon resign this earthly life +which was so much more to me, as I could not help thinking, than to +most others. I was like that young man with a ghastly face I had seen +bound to a post in our barn; or like any wretched captive, tied hand +and foot and left to lie there until it suited his captor to come back +and cut his throat or thrust him through with a spear, or cut him into +strips with a sword, in a leisurely manner so as to get all the +satisfaction possible out of the exercise of his skill and the +spectacle of gushing blood and his victim's agony. + +Nor was this all nor even the worst which had befallen me; I now +discovered that in spite of all my strivings after the religious mind, +that old dread of annihilation which I had first experienced as a +small child was not dead as I had fondly imagined, but still lived and +worked in me. This visible world--this paradise of which I had had so +far but a fleeting glimpse-the sun and moon and other worlds peopling +all space with their brilliant constellations, and still other suns +and systems, so utterly remote, in such inconceivable numbers as to +appear to our vision as a faint luminous mist in the sky-all this +universe which had existed for millions and billions of ages, or from +eternity, would have existed in vain, since now it was doomed with my +last breath, my last gleam of consciousness, to come to nothing. For +that was how the thought of death presented itself to me. + +Against this appalling thought I struggled with all my power, and +prayed and prayed again, morning, noon and night, wrestling with God, +as the phrase was, trying as it were to wring something from His hands +which would save me, and which He, for no reason that I could +discover, withheld from me. + +It was not strange in these circumstances that I became more and more +absorbed in the religious literature of which we had a good amount on +our bookshelves--theology, sermons, meditations for every day in the +year, _The Whole Duty of Man, A Call to the Unconverted_, and many +other old works of a similar character. + +Among these I found one entitled, if I remember rightly, _An Answer +to the Infidel_, and this work, which I took up eagerly in the +expectation that it would allay those maddening doubts perpetually +rising in my mind and be a help and comfort to me, only served to make +matters worse, at all events for a time. For in this book I was first +made acquainted with many of the arguments of the freethinkers, both +of the Deists who were opposed to the Christian creed, and of those +who denied the truth of all supernatural religion. And the answers to +the arguments were not always convincing. It was idle, then, to seek +for proofs in the books. The books themselves, after all their +arguments, told me as much when they said that only by faith could a +man be saved. And to the sad question: "How was it to be attained?" +the only answer was, by striving and striving until it came. And as +there was nothing else to do I continued striving, with the result +that I believed and did not believe, and my soul, or rather my hope of +immortality, trembled in the balance. + +This, from first to last, was the one thing that mattered; so much was +it to me that in reading one of the religious books entitled _The +Saints' Everlasting Rest_, in which the pious author, Richard Baxter, +expatiates on and labours to make his readers realize the condition of +the eternally damned, I have said to myself: "If an angel, or one +returned from the dead, could come to assure me that life does not end +with death, that we mortals are destined to live for ever, but that +for me there can be no blessed hereafter on account of my want of +faith, and because I loved or worshipped Nature rather than the Author +of my being, it would be, not a message of despair, but of +consolation; for in that dreadful place to which I should be sent, I +should be alive and not dead, and have my memories of earth, and +perhaps meet and have communion there with others of like mind with +myself, and with recollections like mine." + +This was but one of many lawless thoughts which assailed me at this +time. Another, very persistent, was the view I took of the sufferings +of the Saviour of mankind. Why, I asked, were they made so much of?--- +why was it said that He suffered as no man had suffered? It was +nothing but the physical pain which thousands and millions have had to +endure! And if I could be as sure of immortality as Jesus, death would +be to me no more than the prick of a thorn. What would it matter to be +nailed to a cross and perish in a slow agony if I believed that, the +agony over, I should sit down refreshed to sup in paradise? The worst +of it was that when I tried to banish these bitter, rebellious ideas, +taking them to be the whisperings of the Evil One, as the books +taught, the quick reply would come that the supposed Evil One was +nothing but the voice of my own reason striving to make itself heard. + +But the contest could not be abandoned; devil or reason, or whatever +it was, must be overcome, else there was no hope for me; and such is +the powerful effect of fixing all one's thoughts on one object, +assisted no doubt by the reflex effect on the mind of prayer, that in +due time I did succeed in making myself believe all I wished to +believe, and had my reward, since after many days or weeks of mental +misery there would come beautiful intervals of peace and of more than +peace, a new and surprising experience, a state of exaltation, when it +would seem to me that I was lifted or translated into a purely +spiritual atmosphere and was in communion and one with the unseen +world. + +It was wonderful. At last and for ever my Dark Night of the Soul was +over; no more bitter broodings and mocking whispers and shrinking from +the awful phantom of death continually hovering near me; and, above +all, no more "difficulties"--the rocky barriers I had vainly beat and +bruised myself against. For I had been miraculously lifted over them +and set safely down on the other side, where it was all plain walking. + +Unhappily, these blissful intervals would not last long. A +recollection of something I had heard or read would come back to +startle me out of the confident happy mood; reason would revive as +from a benumbed or hypnotized condition, and the mocking voice would +be heard telling me that I had been under a delusion. Once more I +would abhor and shudder at the black phantom, and when the thought of +annihilation was most insistent, I would often recall the bitter, +poignant words about death and immortality spoken to me about two +years before by an old gaucho landowner who had been our neighbour in +my former home. + +He was a rough, rather stern-looking man, with a mass of silver-white +hair and grey eyes; a gaucho in his dress and primitive way of life, +the owner of a little land and a few animals-the small remnant of the +estancia which had once belonged to his people. But he was a vigorous +old man, who spent half of his day on horseback, looking after the +animals, his only living. One day he was at our house, and coming out +to where I was doing something in the grounds, he sat down on a bench +and called me to him. I went gladly enough, thinking that he had some +interesting bird news to give me. He remained silent for some time, +smoking a cigar, and staring at the sky as if watching the smoke +vanish in the air. At length he opened fire. + +"Look," he said, "you are only a boy, but you can tell me something I +don't know. Your parents read books, and you listen to their +conversation and learn things. We are Roman Catholics, and you are +Protestants. We call you heretics and say that for such there is no +salvation. Now I want you to tell me what is the difference between +our religion and yours." + +I explained the matter as well as I knew how, and added, somewhat +maliciously, that the main difference was his religion was a corrupt +form of Christianity and ours a pure one. + +This had no effect on him; he went on smoking and staring at the sky +as if he hadn't heard me. Then he began again: "Now I know. These +differences are nothing to me, and though I was curious to know what +they were, they are not worth talking about, because, as I know, all +religions are false." + +"What did he mean--how did he know?" I asked, very much surprised. + +"The priests tell us," he replied, "that we must believe and live a +religious life in this world to be saved. Your priests tell you the +same, and as there is no other world and we have no souls, all they +say must be false. You see all this with your eyes," he continued, +waving his hands to indicate the whole visible world. "And when you +shut them or go blind you see no more. It is the same with our brains. +We think of a thousand things and remember, and when the brain decays +we forget everything, and we die, and everything dies with us. Have +not the cattle eyes to see and brains to think and remember too? And +when they die no priest tells us that they have a soul and have to go +to purgatory, or wherever he likes to send them. Now, in return for +what you told me, I've told you something you didn't know." + +It came as a great shock to me to hear this. Hitherto I had thought +that what was wrong with our native friends was that they believed too +much, and this man--this good honest old gaucho we all respected-- +believed nothing! I tried to argue with him and told him he had said a +dreadful thing, since every one knew in his heart that he had an +immortal soul and had to be judged after death. He had distressed and +even frightened me, but he went on calmly smoking and appeared not to +be listening to me, and as he refused to speak I at last burst out: +"How do you know? Why do you say you know?" + +At last he spoke. "Listen. I was once a boy too, and I know that a boy +of fourteen can understand things as well as a man. I was an only +child, and my mother was a widow, and I was more than all the world to +her, and she was more than everything else to me. We were alone +together in the world--we two. Then she died, and what her loss was to +me--how can I say it?--how could you understand? And after she was +taken away and buried, I said: 'She is not dead, and wherever she now +is, in heaven or in purgatory, or in the sun, she will remember and +come to me and comfort me.' When it was dark I went out alone and sat +at the end of the house, and spent hours waiting for her. 'She will +surely come,' I said, 'but I don't know whether I shall see her or +not. Perhaps it will be just a whisper in my ear, perhaps a touch of +her hand on mine, but I shall know that she is with me.' And at last, +worn out with waiting and watching, I went to my bed and said she will +come to-morrow. And the next night and the next it was the same. +Sometimes I would go up the ladder, always standing against the gable +so that one could go up, and standing on the roof, look out over the +plain and see where our horses were grazing. There I would sit or lie +on the thatch for hours. And I would cry: 'Come to me, my mother! I +cannot live without you! Come soon-come soon, before I die of a broken +heart!' That was my cry every night, until worn out with my vigil I +would go back to my room. And she never came, and at last I knew that +she was dead and that we were separated for ever--that there is no +life after death." + +His story pierced me to the heart, and without another word I left +him, but I succeeded in making myself believe that grief for his +mother had made him mad, that as a boy he had got these delusions in +his mind and had kept them all his life. Now this recollection haunted +me. Then one day, with my mind in this troubled state, in reading +George Combe's Physiology I came on a passage in which the question of +the desire for immortality is discussed, his contention being that it +is not universal, and as a proof of this he affirms that he himself +had no such desire. + +This came as a great shock to me, since up to the moment of reading it +I had in my ignorance taken It for granted that the desire is inherent +in every human being from the dawn of consciousness to the end of +life, that it is our chief desire, and is an instinct of the soul like +that physical instinct of the migratory bird which calls it annually +from the most distant regions back to its natal home. I had also taken +it for granted that our hope of immortality, or rather our belief in +it, was founded on this same passion in us and in its universality. +The fact that there were those who had no such desire was sufficient +to show that it was no spiritual instinct or not of divine origin. + +There were many more shocks of this kind--when I go back in memory to +that sad time, it seems almost incredible to me that that poor +doubtful faith in revealed religion still survived, and that the +struggle still went on, but go on it certainly did. + +To many of my readers, to all who have interested themselves in the +history of religion and its effect on individual minds--its +psychology--all I have written concerning my mental condition at that +period, will come as a twice-told tale, since thousands and millions +of men have undergone similar experiences and have related them in +numberless books. And here I must beg my reader to bear in mind that +in the days of my youth we had not yet fallen into the indifference +and scepticism which now infects the entire Christian world. In those +days people still believed; and here in England, in the very centre +and mind of the world, many thousands of miles from my rude +wilderness, the champions of the Church were in deadly conflict with +the Evolutionists. I knew nothing about all that: I had no modern +books--those we had were mostly about a hundred years old. My fight up +to this period was all on the old lines, and on this account I have +related it as briefly as possible; but it had to be told, since it +comes into the story of the development of my mind at that period. I +have no doubt that my sufferings through these religious experiences +were far greater than in the majority of cases, and this for the +special reason which I have already intimated. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + +LOSS AND GAIN + +The soul's loneliness--My mother and her death-A mother's love for her +son--Her character-Anecdotes-A mystery and a revelation--The autumnal +migration of birds--Moonlight vigils--My absent brother's return--He +introduces me to Darwin's works--A new philosophy of life--Conclusion. + + + +The mournful truth that a man--every man-must die alone, had been +thrust sharply into my mind and kept there by the frequent violent +attacks of my malady I suffered at that time, every one of which +threatened to be the last. And this sense and apprehension of +loneliness at the moment of the severance of all earthly ties and +parting with light and life, was perhaps the cause of the idea or +notion which possessed me, that in all our most intimate thoughts and +reflections concerning our destiny and our deepest emotions, we are +and must be alone. Anyhow, in so far as these matters are concerned, I +never had nor desired a confidant. In this connection I recall the +last words spoken to me by my younger brother, the being I loved best +on earth at that time and the one I had been more intimate with than +with any other person I have ever known. This was after the dark days +and years had been overpass, when I had had long periods of fairly +good health and had known happiness in the solitary places I loved to +haunt, communing with wild nature, with wild birds for company. + +He was with me in the ship in which I had taken my passage "home," as +I insisted on calling England, to his amusement, and when we had +grasped hands for the last time and had said our last good-bye, he +added this one more last word: "Of all the people I have ever known +you are the only one I don't know." + +It was a word, I imagine, never spoken by a mother of a loved son, her +insight, born of her exceeding love, being so much greater than that +of the closest friend and brother. I never breathed a word of my +doubts and mental agonizing to my mother; I spoke to her only of my +bodily sufferings; yet she knew it all, and I knew that she knew. And +because she knew and understood the temper of my mind as well, she +never questioned, never probed, but invariably when alone with me she +would with infinite tenderness in her manner touch on spiritual things +and tell me of her own state, the consolations of her faith which gave +her peace and strength in all our reverses and anxieties. + +I knew, too, that her concern at my state was the greater because it +was not her first experience of a trouble of this kind. My elder long- +absent brother had scarcely ceased to be a boy before throwing off all +belief in the Christian creed and congratulating himself on having got +rid of old wives' fables, as he scornfully expressed it. But never a +word did he say to her of this change, and without a word she knew it, +and when she spoke to us on the subject nearest to her heart and he +listened in respectful silence, she knew the thought and feeling--that +was in him-that he loved her above everybody but was free of her +creed. + +He had been able to cast it off with a light heart because of his +perfect health, since in that condition death is not in the mind--the +mind refuses to admit the thought of it, so remote is it in that state +that we regard ourselves as practically immortal. And, untroubled by +that thought, the mind is clear and vigorous and unfettered. What, I +have asked myself, even when striving after faith, would faith in +another world have mattered to me if I had not been suddenly sentenced +to an early death, when the whole desire of my soul was life, nothing +but life--to live for ever! + +Then my mother died. Her perfect health failed her suddenly, and her +decline was not long. But she suffered much, and on the last occasion +of my being with her at her bedside she told me that she was very +tired and had no fear of death, and would be glad to go but for the +thought of leaving me in such a precarious state of health and with a +mind distressed. Even then she put no questions to me, but only +expressed the hope that her prayers for me would be answered and that +at the last we should be together again. + +I cannot say, as I might say in the case of any other relation or +friend, that I had lost her. A mother's love for the child of her body +differs essentially from all other affections, and burns with so clear +and steady a flame that it appears like the one unchangeable thing in +this earthly mutable life, so that when she is no longer present it is +still a light to our steps and a consolation. + +It came to me as a great surprise a few years ago to have my secret +and most cherished feelings about my own mother expressed to me as I +had never heard them expressed before by a friend who, albeit still +young, has made himself a name in the world, one who had never known a +mother, she having died during his infancy. He lamented that it had +been so, not only on account of the motherless childhood and boyhood +he had known, but chiefly because in after life it was borne in on him +that he had been deprived of something infinitely precious which +others have--the enduring and sustaining memory of a love which is +unlike any other love known to mortals, and is almost a sense and +prescience of immortality. + +In reading, nothing goes to my heart like any true account of a mother +and son's love for one another, such as we find in that true book I +have already spoken of in a former chapter, Serge Aksakoff's _History +of my Childhood_. Of other books I may cite Leigh Hunt's +_Autobiography_ in the early chapters. Reading the incidents he +records of his mother's love and pity for all in trouble and her self- +sacrificing acts, I have exclaimed: "How like my mother! It is just +how she would have acted!" I will give an instance here of her loving- +kindness. + +Some days after her death I had occasion to go to the house of one of +our native neighbours--the humble rancho of poor people. It was not in +my mind at the moment that I had not seen these people since my mother +died, and on coming into the living-room the old mother of the family, +who had grandchildren of my age, rose from her seat with tottering +steps to meet me, and taking my hand in hers, with tears streaming +from her eyes, cried: "She has left us! She who called me mother on +account of my years and her loving heart. It was she who was my mother +and the mother of us all. What shall we do without her?" + +Only after going out and getting on my horse it occurred to me that +the old woman's memory went back to the time when she first knew my +mother, a girl-wife, many years before I was born. She could remember +numerous acts of love and compassion: that when one of her daughters +died in childbirth in that very house, my mother, who was just then +nursing me, went to give them whatever aid and comfort she could, and +finding the child alive, took it home and nursed it, with me, at her +own breasts for several days until a nurse was found. + +From the time when I began to think for myself I used to wonder at her +tolerance; for she was a saint in her life, spiritually-minded in the +highest degree. To her, a child of New England parents and ancestors, +reared in an intensely religious atmosphere, the people of the pampas +among whom her lot was cast must have appeared almost like the +inhabitants of another world. They were as strange to her soul, +morally and spiritually, as they were unlike her own people outwardly +in language, dress, and customs. Yet she was able to affiliate with +them, to visit and sit at ease with them in their lowliest ranches, +interesting herself as much in their affairs as if she belonged to +them. This sympathy and freedom endeared her to them, and it was a +grief to some who were much attached to her that she was not of their +faith. She was a Protestant, and what that exactly meant they didn't +know, but they supposed it was something very bad. Protestants, some +of them held, had been concerned in the crucifixion of the Saviour; at +all events, they would not go to mass or confessional, and despised +the saints, those glorified beings who, under the Queen of Heaven, and +with the angels, were the guardians of Christian souls in this life +and their intercessors in the next. They were anxious to save her, and +when I was born, the same old dame I have told about a page or two +back, finding that I had come into the world on St. Dominic's Day, set +herself to persuade my mother to name me after that saint, that being +the religious custom of the country. For if they should succeed in +this it would be taken as a sign of grace, that she was not a despiser +of the saints and her case hopeless. But my mother had already fixed +on a name for me and would not change it for another, even to please +her poor neighbours--certainly not for such a name as Dominic; perhaps +there is not one in the calendar more obnoxious to heretics of all +denominations. + +They were much hurt-it was the only hurt she ever caused them-and the +old dame and some of her people, who had thought the scheme too good +to be dropped altogether, insisted always on calling me Dominic! + +My mother's sympathy and love for everybody appeared, too, in the +hospitality she delighted to exercise. That, indeed, was the common +virtue of the country, especially in the native population; but from +all my experience during my wanderings on these great plains in +subsequent years, when every night would find me a guest in a +different establishment, I never saw anything quite on a par with my +parents' hospitality. Nothing seemed to make them happier than having +strangers and travellers taking their rest with us; there were also a +good number of persons who were accustomed to make periodical visits +to the city from the southern part of the province who, after a night +with us, with perhaps half a day's rest to follow, would make our +house a regular resting-place. But no distinctions were made. The +poorest, even men who would be labelled tramps in England, travellers +on foot perhaps where cattle made it dangerous to be on foot, would be +made as welcome as those of a better class. Our delight as children, +loving fun too well, was when we had a guest of this humble +description at the supper-table. Settling down in our places at the +long table laden with good things, a stern admonitory glance from our +father would let us into the secret of the new guest's status--his +unsuitability to his surroundings. It was great fun to watch him +furtively and listen to his blundering conversational efforts, but we +knew that the least sound of a titter on our part would have been an +unpardonable offence. The poor and more uncouth, or ridiculous, from +our childish point of view, they appeared, the more anxious my mother +would be to put them at their ease. And she would sometimes say to us +afterwards that she could not laugh with us because she remembered the +poor fellow probably had a mother somewhere in a distant country who +was perhaps thinking of him at the very time he was at the table with +us, and hoping and praying that in his wanderings he would meet with +some who would be kind to him. + +I remember many of these chance guests, and will give a particular +account of one--the guest and the evening we passed in his company--as +this survives with a peculiar freshness in my memory, and it was also +a cherished recollection of my mother's. + +I was then nine or ten years old, and our guest was a young Spanish +gentleman, singularly handsome, with a most engaging expression and +manner. He was on a journey from Buenos Ayres to a part in our +province some sixty or seventy leagues further south, and after asking +permission to pass the night at our house, he explained that he had +only one horse, as he liked that way of travelling rather than the +native way of driving a _tropilla_ before him, going at a furious +gallop from dawn to dark, and changing horses every three or four +leagues. Having but one horse, he had to go in a leisurely way with +many rests, and he liked to call at many houses every day just to talk +with the people. + +After supper, during which he charmed us with his conversation and +pure Castilian, which was like music as he spoke it, we formed a +circle before a wood fire in the dining-room and made him take the +middle seat. For he had confessed that he performed on the guitar, and +we all wanted to sit where we could see as well as listen. He tuned +the instrument in a leisurely way, pausing often to continue the +conversation with my parents, until at last, seeing how eager we all +were, he began to play, and his music and style were strange to us, +for he had no jigging tunes with fantastic flights and flourishes so +much affected by our native guitarists. It was beautiful but serious +music. + +Then came another long pause and he talked again, and said the pieces +he had been playing were composed by his chief favourite, Sarasate. +He said that Sarasate had been one of the most famous guitarists in +Spain, and had composed a good deal of music for the guitar before he +had given it up for the violin. As a violinist he would win a European +reputation, but in Spain they were sorry that he had abandoned the +national instrument. + +All he said was interesting, but we wanted more and more of his music, +and he played less and less and at longer intervals, and at last he +put the guitar down, and turning to my parents, said with a smile that +he begged to be excused--that he could play no more for thinking. He +owed it to them, he said, to tell them what he was thinking about; +they would then know how much they had done for his pleasure that +evening and how he appreciated it. He was, he continued, one of a +large family, very united, all living with their parents at home; and +in winter, which was cold in his part of Spain, their happiest time +was in the evening when they would gather before a big fire of oak +logs in their _solar_ and pass the time with books and conversation +and a little music and singing. Naturally, since he had left his +country years ago, the thought of that time and those evenings had +occasionally been in his mind--a passing thought and memory. On this +evening it had come in a different way, less like a memory than a +revival of the past, so that as he sat there among us, he was a boy +back in Spain once more, sitting by the fire with his brothers and +sisters and parents. With that feeling in him he could not go on +playing. And he thought it most strange that such an experience should +have come to him for the first time in that place out on that great +naked pampa, sparsely inhabited, where life was so rough, so +primitive. + +And while he talked we all listened--how eagerly!--drinking in his +words, especially my mother, her eyes bright with the moisture rising +in them; and she often afterwards recalled that evening guest, who was +seen no more by us but had left an enduring image in our hearts. + +This is a picture of my mother as she appeared to all who knew her. In +my individual case there was more, a secret bond of union between us, +since she best understood my feeling for Nature and sense of beauty, +and recognized that in this I was nearest to her. Thus, besides and +above the love of mother and son, we had a spiritual kinship, and this +was so much to me that everything beautiful in sight or sound that +affected me came associated with her to my mind. I have found this +feeling most perfectly expressed in some lines to the Snowdrop by our +lost poet, Dolben. I am in doubt, he wrote, + + If summer brings a flower so lovable + Of such a meditative restfulness + As this, with all her roses and carnations. + The morning hardly stirs their noiseless bells; + Yet could I fancy that they whispered "Home," + For all things gentle, all things beautiful, + I hold, my mother, for a part of thee. + +So have I held. All things beautiful, but chiefly flowers. Her feeling +for them was little short of adoration. Her religious mind appeared to +regard them as little voiceless messengers from the Author of our +beings and of Nature, or as divine symbols of a place and a beauty +beyond our power to imagine. + +I think it likely that when Dolben penned those lines to the Snowdrop +it was in his mind that this was one of his mother's favourites. My +mother had her favourites too; not the roses and carnations in our +gardens, but mostly among the wild flowers growing on the pampas-- +flowers which I never see in England. But I remember them, and if by +some strange chance I should find myself once more in that distant +region, I should go out in search of them, and seeing them again, feel +that I was communing with her spirit. + +These memories of my mother are a relief to me in recalling that +melancholy time, the years of my youth that were wasted and worse, +considering their effect and that the very thought of that period, +which is to others the fullest, richest, and happiest in life, has +always been painful to me. Yet to it I am now obliged to return for +the space of two or three pages to relate how I eventually came out of +it. + +My case was not precisely like that of Cooper's Castaway, but rather +like that of a fugitive from his ship on some tropical coast who, on +swimming to the shore, finds himself in a mangrove swamp, waist-deep +in mire, tangled in rope-like roots, straining frantically to escape +his doom. + +I have told how after my fifteenth anniversary, when I first began to +reflect seriously on my future life, the idea still persisted that my +perpetual delight in Nature was nothing more than a condition or phase +of my child's and boy's mind, and would inevitably fade out in time. I +might have guessed at an earlier date that this was a delusion, since +the feeling had grown in strength with the years, but it was only +after I took to reading at the beginning of my sixteenth year that I +discovered its true character. One of the books I read then for the +first time was White's Selborne, given to me by an old friend of our +family, a merchant in Buenos Ayres, who had been accustomed to stay a +week or two with us once a year when he took his holiday. He had been +on a visit to Europe, and one day, he told me, when in London on the +eve of his departure, he was in a bookshop, and seeing this book on +the counter and glancing at a page or two, it occurred to him that it +was just the right thing to get for that bird-loving boy out on the +pampas. I read and re-read it many times, for nothing so good of its +kind had ever come to me, but it did not reveal to me the secret of my +own feeling for Nature--the feeling of which I was becoming more and +more conscious, which was a mystery to me, especially at certain +moments, when it would come upon me with a sudden rush. So powerful it +was, so unaccountable, I was actually afraid of it, yet I would go out +of my way to seek it. At the hour of sunset I would go out half a mile +or so from the house, and sitting on the dry grass with hands clasped +round my knees, gaze at the western sky, waiting for it to take me. +And I would ask myself: What does it mean? But there was no answer to +that in any book concerning the "life and conversation of animals." I +found it in other works: in Brown's Philosophy--another of the ancient +tomes on our shelves--and in an old volume containing appreciations of +the early nineteenth-century poets; also in other works. They did not +tell me in so many words that it was the mystical faculty in me which +produced those strange rushes or bursts of feeling and lifted me out +of myself at moments; but what I found in their words was sufficient +to show me that the feeling of delight in Nature was an enduring one, +that others had known it, and that it had been a secret source of +happiness throughout their lives. + +This revelation, which in other circumstances would have made me +exceedingly happy, only added to my misery when, as it appeared, I had +only a short time to live. Nature could charm, she could enchant me, +and her wordless messages to my soul were to me sweeter than honey and +the honeycomb, but she could not take the sting and victory from +death, and I had perforce to go elsewhere for consolation. Yet even +so, in my worst days, my darkest years, when occupied with the +laborious business of working out my own salvation with fear and +trembling, with that spectre of death always following me, even so I +could not rid my mind of its old passion and delight. The rising and +setting sun, the sight of a lucid blue sky after cloud and rain, the +long unheard familiar call-note of some newly-returned migrant, the +first sight of some flower in spring, would bring back the old emotion +and would be like a sudden ray of sunlight in a dark place--a +momentary intense joy, to be succeeded by ineffable pain. Then there +were times when these two opposite feelings mingled and would be +together in my mind for hours at a time, and this occurred oftenest +during the autumnal migration, when the great wave of bird-life set +northwards, and all through March and April the birds were visible in +flock succeeding flock from dawn to dark, until the summer visitants +were all gone, to be succeeded in May by the birds from the far south, +flying from the Antarctic winter. + +This annual spectacle had always been a moving one, but the feeling it +now produced--this mingled feeling--was most powerful on still +moonlight nights, when I would sit or lie on my bed gazing out on the +prospect, earth and sky, in its changed mysterious aspect. And, lying +there, I would listen by the hour to the three-syllable call-note of +the upland or solitary plover, as the birds went past, each bird alone +far up in the dim sky, winging his way to the north. It was a strange +vigil I kept, stirred by strange thoughts and feelings, in that +moonlit earth that was strange too, albeit familiar, for never before +had the sense of the supernatural in Nature been stronger. And the +bird I listened to, that same solitary plover I had known and admired +from my earliest years, the most graceful of birds, beautiful to see +and hear when it would spring up before my horse with its prolonged +wild bubbling cry of alarm and go away with swift, swallow-like +flight--what intensity and gladness of life was in it, what a +wonderful inherited knowledge in its brain, and what an inexhaustible +vigour in its slender frame to enable it to perform that annual double +journey of upwards of ten thousand miles! What a joy it would be to +live for ages in a world of such fascinating phenomena! If some great +physician, wise beyond all others, infallible, had said to me that all +my doctors had been wrong, that, barring accidents, I had yet fifty +years to live, or forty, or even thirty, I should have worshipped him +and would have counted myself the happiest being on the globe, with so +many autumns and winters and springs and summers to see yet. + +With these supernatural moonlight nights I finish the story of that +dark time, albeit the darkness had not yet gone; to have recalled it +and related it briefly as I could once in my life is enough. Let me +now go back to the simile of the lost wretch struggling for life in +the mangrove swamp. The first sense of having set my foot on a firmer +place in that slough of fetid slime, of a wholesome breath of air +blown to me from outside the shadow of the black abhorred forest, was +when I began to experience intervals of relief from physical pain, +when these grew more and more frequent and would extend to entire +days, then to weeks, and for a time I would become oblivious of my +precarious state. I was still and for a long time subject to attacks, +when the pain was intolerable and was like steel driven into my heart, +always followed by violent palpitations, which would last for hours. +But I found that exercise on foot or horseback made me no worse, and I +became more and more venturesome, spending most of my time out of +doors, although often troubled with the thought that my passion for +Nature was a hindrance to me, a turning aside from the difficult way I +had been striving to keep. + +Then my elder brother returned, an event of the greatest importance in +my life; and as he had not been expected so soon, I was for a minute +in doubt that this strange visitor could be my brother, so greatly had +he altered in appearance in those five long years of absence, which +had seemed like an age to me. He had left us as a smooth-faced youth, +with skin tanned to such a deep colour that with his dark piercing +eyes and long black hair he had looked to me more like an Indian than +a white man. Now his skin was white, and he had grown a brown beard +and moustache. In disposition, too, he had grown more genial and +tolerant, but I soon discovered that in character he had not changed. + +As soon as an opportunity came he began to interrogate and cross- +question me as to my mind--life and where I stood, and expressed +himself surprised to hear that I still held to the creed in which we +had been reared. How, he demanded, did I reconcile these ancient +fabulous notions with the doctrine of evolution? What effect had +Darwin produced on me? I had to confess that I had not read a line of +his work, that with the exception of Draper's History of Civilisation, +which had come by chance in my way, I had during all those five years +read nothing but the old books which had always been on our shelves. +He said he knew Draper's History, and it was not the sort of book for +me to read at present. I wanted a different history, with animals as +well as men in it. He had a store of books with him, and would lend me +the Origin of Species to begin with. + +When I had read and returned the book, and he was eager to hear my +opinion, I said it had not hurt me in the least, since Darwin had to +my mind only succeeded in disproving his own theory with his argument +from artificial selection. He himself confessed that no new species +had ever been produced in that way. + +That, he said in reply, was the easy criticism that any one who came +to the reading in a hostile spirit would make. They would fasten on +that apparently weak point and not pay much attention to the fact that +it is fairly met and answered in the book. When he first read the book +it convinced him; but he had come to it with an open mind and I with a +prejudiced mind on account of my religious ideas. He advised me to +read it again, to read and consider it carefully with the sole purpose +of getting at the truth. "Take it," he said, "and read it again in the +right way for you to read it--as a naturalist." + +He had been surprised that I, an ignorant boy or youth on the pampas, +had ventured to criticise such a work. I, on my side, had been equally +surprised at his quiet way of reasoning with me, with none of the old +scornful spirit flaming out. He was gentle with me, knowing that I had +suffered much, and was not free yet. + +I read it again in the way he had counselled, and then refused to +think any more on the subject. I was sick of thinking. Like the wretch +who long has tossed upon the thorny bed of pain, I only wanted to +repair my vigour lost and breathe and walk again. To be on horseback, +galloping over the green pampas, in sun and wind. For after all it was +only a reprieve, not a commutation of sentence--though one of a kind +unknown in the Courts, in which the condemned man is allowed out on +bail. My pardon was not received until a few years later. I returned +with a new wonderful zest to my old sports, shooting and fishing, and +would spend days and weeks from home, sometimes staying with old +gaucho friends and former neighbours at their ranches, attending +cattle-markings and partings, dances, and other gatherings, and also +made longer expeditions to the southern and western frontiers of the +province, living out of doors for months at a time. + +Despite my determination to put the question off, my mind, or sub- +conscious mind, like a dog with a bone which it refuses to drop in +defiance of its master's command, went on revolving it. It went to bed +and got up with me, and was with me the day long, and whenever I had a +still interval, when I would pull up my horse to sit motionless +watching some creature, bird or beast or snake, or sat on the ground +poring over some insect occupied with the business of its little life, +I would become conscious of the discussion and argument going on. And +every creature I watched, from the great soaring bird circling in the +sky at a vast altitude to the little life at my feet, was brought into +the argument, and was a type, representing a group marked by a family +likeness not only in figure and colouring and language, but in mind as +well, in habits and the most trivial traits and tricks of gesture and +so on; the entire group in its turn related to another group, and to +others, still further and further away, the likeness growing less and +less. What explanation was possible but that of community of descent? +How incredible it appeared that this had not been seen years ago--yes, +even before it was discovered that the world was round and was one of +a system of planets revolving round the sun. All this starry knowledge +was of little or no importance compared to that of our relationship +with all the infinitely various forms of life that share the earth +with us. Yet it was not till the second half of the nineteenth century +that this great, almost self-evident truth had won a hearing in the +world! + +No doubt this is a common experience: no sooner has the inquirer been +driven to accept a new doctrine than it takes complete possession of +his mind, and has not then the appearance of a strange and unwelcome +guest, but rather that of a familiar friendly one, and is like a long- +established housemate. I suppose the explanation is that when we throw +open the doors to the new importunate visitor, it is virtually a +ceremony, since the real event has been already accomplished, the +guest having stolen in by some other way and made himself at home in +the sub-conscious mind. Insensibly and inevitably I had become an +evolutionist, albeit never wholly satisfied with natural selection as +the only and sufficient explanation of the change in the forms of +life. And again, insensibly and inevitably, the new doctrine has led +to modifications of the old religious ideas and eventually to a new +and simplified philosophy of life. A good enough one so far as this +life is concerned, but unhappily it takes no account of another, a +second and perdurable life without change of personality. + +This subject has been much in men's minds during the past two or three +dreadful years, often reminding me of that shock I received as a boy +of fourteen at the old gaucho's bitter story of his soul; I have also +again been reminded of the theory in which that younger and greatly- +loved brother of mine was able to find comfort. He had become deeply +religious, and after much reading in Herbert Spencer and other modern +philosophers and evolutionists, he told me he thought it was idle for +Christians to fight against the argument of the materialists that the +mind is a function of the brain. Undoubtedly it was that, and our +mental faculties perished with the brain; but we had a soul that was +imperishable as well. _He knew it_, which meant that he too was a +mystic, and being wholly preoccupied with religion, his mystical +faculty found its use and exercise there. At all events, his notion +served to lift him over _his_ difficulties and to get him out of +_his_ mangrove swamp--a way perhaps less impossible than the one +recently pointed out by William James. + +Thus I came out of the contest a loser, but as a compensation had the +knowledge that my physicians were false prophets; that, barring +accidents, I could count on thirty, forty, even fifty years with their +summers and autumns and winters. And that was the life I desired-- +the life the heart can conceive--the earth life. When I hear people +say they have not found the world and life so agreeable or interesting +as to be in love with it, or that they look with equanimity to its +end, I am apt to think they have never been properly alive nor seen +with clear vision the world they think so meanly of, or anything in +it--not a blade of grass. Only I know that mine is an exceptional +case, that the visible world is to me more beautiful and interesting +than to most persons, that the delight I experienced in my communing +with Nature did not pass away, leaving nothing but a recollection of +vanished happiness to intensify a present pain. The happiness was +never lost, but owing to that faculty I have spoken of, had a +cumulative effect on the mind and was mine again, so that in my worst +times, when I was compelled to exist shut out from Nature in London +for long periods, sick and poor and friendless, I could yet always +feel that it was infinitely better to be than not to be. + +THE END + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, FAR AWAY AND LONG AGO *** + +This file should be named 6093.txt or 6093.zip + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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