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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1dc05cf --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #60862 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60862) diff --git a/old/60862-h.zip b/old/60862-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 1810eb1..0000000 --- a/old/60862-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60862-h/60862-h.htm b/old/60862-h/60862-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 36b9cac..0000000 --- a/old/60862-h/60862-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1095 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=us-ascii" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of Thirty Degrees Cattywonkus, by James Bell. - </title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -div.titlepage { - text-align: center; - page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; -} - -div.titlepage p { - text-align: center; - text-indent: 0em; - font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; - margin-top: 3em; -} - -.ph1 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } -.ph1 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } - - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Thirty Degrees Cattywonkus, by James Bell - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll -have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using -this ebook. - - - -Title: Thirty Degrees Cattywonkus - -Author: James Bell - -Release Date: December 6, 2019 [EBook #60862] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY DEGREES CATTYWONKUS *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="340" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> - -<h1>Thirty Degrees Cattywonkus</h1> - -<h2>By JAMES BELL</h2> - -<p class="ph1"><i>It doesn't take a heap of leaving<br /> -to make any house a nightmare. One<br /> -vanishing door will do nastily.</i></p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Worlds of If Science Fiction, May 1960.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>It was a tremendous house. And they were newlyweds. And were still a -mite flighty. And for a while that accounted for the whole thing.</p> - -<p>At the moment, it seemed to Ernie Lane that in a house which even the -real estate agent said had "either" eleven or twelve rooms, it was -quite conceivable that he and Melinee had overlooked that extra room.</p> - -<p>After all, they had only been living at 1312 Cedar Lane for four days -and had hardly had time to make a complete survey of the place.</p> - -<p>Now it was quite different. For Ernie Lane had stopped walking -hurriedly past that extra door, had stopped giving it only casual -curiosity, had even stopped wondering afterward.</p> - -<p>This night he had come home a bit tired, gone directly to greet his -loving wife, and then decided to put a stop to the gnawing question.</p> - -<p>While Melinee fried the chicken, Ernie walked carefully and wordlessly -to the dim hallway. He went past the staircase, past the telephone, to -the darkest spot between the living room and the study. He stood for a -strange moment—there was no extra door.</p> - -<p>He felt the refinished wall, his fingertips searching for hidden -panels. There was none.</p> - -<p>"Supper's ready," Melinee called. "Ernie?"</p> - -<p>But it had been there last night, the night before, the night before -that, and the very first night the real estate agent brought them over. -In fact, he recalled, that was the reason the agent had been uncertain -about the number of rooms. And why had he passed it off as a joke, -simply turning from the extra door without opening it?</p> - -<p>Ernie felt again.</p> - -<p>It was ceasing to be a joke. He was not a man of hallucinations. He was -not a victim of superstition, fear or near-sightedness. He only wanted -to know why he saw a door one day and didn't see it the next.</p> - -<p>He called a comforting word to his wife, then reached for the telephone -book. He found the name of Hartley and Hartley, Real Estate. PLaza -0-6633. Without any undue commotion, he dialed. In a moment, a woman's -voice at the other end seemed to barge into his life.</p> - -<p>"Special operator. Number, please?"</p> - -<p>"PLaza 0-6633."</p> - -<p>"Sorry, sir, we have no such number—"</p> - -<p>Ernie let a disgruntled voice thunder into the phone: "Then what the -heck is Hartley and Hartley Realty doing with it?"</p> - -<p>A pause. Then she replied, "Sir, we have no Hartley and Hartley—"</p> - -<p>"Don't be silly," he said. "I just found it in the phone book."</p> - -<p>She answered, "We have a Hartfield and Hatley, Realtors, Inc., sir, but -no Hartley and Hartley. Their number is in the directory."</p> - -<p>Melinee was standing behind him. "Who are you calling?"</p> - -<p>He was shaken, but he managed to appear calm as he hung up. He even -relaxed against the wall. "I was trying to get the real estate agent on -the phone—these lights ought to be brighter—and I thought he could -refer us to his electrician."</p> - -<p>"His what?" Melinee asked.</p> - -<p>"Elec—" He halted. "Never mind, honey. I'm beat—rough day. I need -fried chicken." He hugged his trim, prim wife and they walked toward -the kitchen arm in arm. But it was not until they settled at the table -that he saw, under the bright electric light, that her hair was red, -not blonde, and he immediately felt he'd been gypped.</p> - -<p>Her smirky little voice added to the shock. "Darling, don't call me -Melinee when my name is Marsha. It just isn't done."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>On purpose, Ernie spent an uneventful evening, arose the next morning, -ignored his wife's red hair, conveniently forgot her name, avoided even -checking to see if the door was there, and saved up a sneer for the -telephone.</p> - -<p>During the day, his business life was perfect. He got the Jenkins -account, lunched with the boss, and was asked to serve on the -membership committee in the Chamber of Commerce drive. However, during -the afternoon he developed a terrific headache and excused himself from -the office long enough to see the company physician.</p> - -<p>The thin, foxy doctor handed him a pill and a glass of water. After -Ernie had swallowed the pill politely, the physician leaned forward -and gazed at his eyes and forehead. "Tell me, Lane—you're a newlywed, -aren't you?"</p> - -<p>Ernie nodded.</p> - -<p>"Then why the worried frown? You seem to be carrying the Rock of -Gibraltar on your shoulders. Is your job too much for you?"</p> - -<p>"Of course not," Ernie said, smiling. "I told you I had a headache."</p> - -<p>"Perhaps," the doctor said, smiling back. "You seemed to have been in -something of a prepossessed state when you came in. I was just curious."</p> - -<p>Ernie laughed it off and at the doctor's request lay on a cot for a -period of ten minutes. When he returned to the office, there was a -request that he call a "Marsha."</p> - -<p>The sudden venomous thoughts of the evening before spun before his -eyes. What the devil was going on with the woman? The new name, the new -hair-do, the new smirk in her voice—that wasn't the woman he married. -He grabbed the phone and called home.</p> - -<p>Twenty rings. No answer.</p> - -<p>It was a quarter of four when the switchboard notified him that his -wife was on the line. "Hello, Ernie? This is Melinee. I'm at the Lee -Hat Shop. Can you meet me in half an hour? I want to do some shopping -and I thought we'd have supper and maybe see a movie."</p> - -<p>Melinee? It was all like a breath of spring. Away from that house, she -was a different person. Happily, he agreed to buying her a new hat, -supper and a ticket to Loew's State. For Melinee, anything. For Marsha, -nothing.</p> - -<p>And when they met, surely enough her hair was blonde again and the -smirk in her voice was gone. She was his bride, and he forgot whatever -the past, present or future might hold.</p> - -<p>The future, however, was not long coming. After the movie, they -returned home and were about to settle down when, passing along the -hallway, Ernie looked over his shoulder and saw the extra door. -Quickly, he reached past Melinee and grasped the knob with his hand.</p> - -<p>"Ernie, what on <i>Earth</i>!"</p> - -<p>She startled him. He laughed, and they went in to bed.</p> - -<p>It was around one A.M. when Ernie decided he would not be able to put -off any longer the chore of exploring that hall door. It plainly had -not been there the night before; it plainly was there tonight.</p> - -<p>He tiptoed softly from bed and left the room. Melinee did not even -stir. He closed the door lightly and cat-footed his way through the -darkness to the wall switch at the foot of the stairs.</p> - -<p>Stealthily looking all about him, as if someone or something might -suddenly try to stop him, Ernie sneaked up on the door. He grabbed the -knob with both hands, turned it briskly and the door swung open.</p> - -<p>The pale green wall of the hallway confronted him. It was as if the -door were merely hinged onto the wall. No opening whatever.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He tapped it with his knuckles. Then he examined the door. It was a -French style thing extending from floor to ceiling with contrasting -green slats. Identical with those appearing all along the hallways, -most of them closet doors.</p> - -<p>Just for the heck of it, he thought he would drag out a hammer and -uncork the screws holding the false door—carry it to some conspicuous -place and observe as it went through its next disappearing act. But as -he turned to head for the tool cabinet, Ernie heard the din of distant -shouting—as if a room-full of men were playing cards.</p> - -<p>And yet not so distant. For a moment the world became silent. Ernie -pressed an ear against the wall behind the false doorway. It seemed to -be coming from inside, and there were only a few words of any audible -clarity. "Maximum—not much longer—and logarithms—"</p> - -<p>Ernie tried the adjacent door. It opened into a small storage room, -unlighted. He felt around the wall paneling, but no switch. Gauging -the dimensions, it seemed to him that the storage room practically -accounted for all the space behind the hall. If the fake door opened -onto a room, it could only be this room, and there was nothing here.</p> - -<p>He listened. No sound inside the confines of the room. But the moment -he returned, pressed his ear against the outer wall, Ernie heard them -shouting again. It was as if the wall were twelve inches thick—as if -he were not hearing anything at all—and yet hearing.</p> - -<p>The thought struck him—there was a laundry chute opening from the -second floor to the storage room. Provided they wanted to install a -chute. Meanwhile, the agent had told him, it would remain just a hole -in the floor.</p> - -<p>He and Melinee had not made any plans for developing the second floor. -It was evident that his mother would one day have to live with them, -and her own invalid sister, in time. And then whatever children there -might be. But so far he and Melinee had actually made only one trip up -there with the agent.</p> - -<p>In fact, there was no electrical connection to the upstairs whatever. -Ernie remembered the layout, however, and made his way up the stairs -that creaked in defiance of the agent's compliments. When he reached -the top in the pitch blackness, he felt for the wall.</p> - -<p>A strange coldness not at all common to the summer season moved out -along the hallway. It seemed to hover around him, curious of the -intruder.</p> - -<p>Imagination.</p> - -<p>He walked on, an inch at a time, for he remembered a small table about -half way along. But he never felt the table. Ernie reached the end of -the hall before he was sure—and where had the table gone?</p> - -<p>He returned along the opposite wall until he felt the small square -paneling. Then a brass knob. He pulled it open, half expecting the end -of the world. And at that point, a bluish haze filled with gaseous, -luminous smoke rose out and blinded him.</p> - -<p>When the obnoxious odor of the smoke was gone, he took a deep breath -and stuck his head in again. Directly below him sat three men, fat and -jovial, shaking their pipes at one another. There was a row of red and -white lighted tubes, not unlike fluorescents, a mahoganylike counter -that might pass for a bar, and a row of bottles against a mirror.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The dimensions immediately struck Ernie as all wrong. It was far bigger -than the hall closet where it was supposed to be. In fact, the portion -he saw seemed to be the focal point of a large dance hall or bar room. -But the most obvious quality of the scene was the tilted floor. The -whole thing seemed to be about thirty degrees lopsided.</p> - -<p>Ernie could go immediately back to bed and tell of his dream tomorrow, -or he could make things worse by yelling at the men below.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>It wasn't necessary to yell. As if they had seen him through the tops -of their balding heads, they motioned to the bartender, then pointed -squarely at his vantage point. Ernie felt the quavering impulse to run, -and yet even in a nightmare you try desperately to learn the ending.</p> - -<p>The man in the white coat set the ladder firmly against the floor so -that the top ended in the slightest kind of tilt near the chute door. -It was not Ernie's intention to crawl through the door, but the way the -man motioned, and the way the men turned briefly and waved, simply as -if they might be old acquaintances waiting for him in a hotel lobby—it -was, to say the very least, overwhelming.</p> - -<p>There was a fragrance, an allure about the room. It smelled of apples -and tobacco and brought nostalgic thoughts of college days and—and -faint wisps of the past that were not nostalgic. He thought of Melinee. -He really ought to tell her about this.</p> - -<p>The chalky finger motioning at him, the unconcerned old men on the -sofa—and the table. It was the antique table, missing from the -upstairs hall, that lured him in. There it sat against the far wall. He -grabbed a jutting two-by-four and twisted his body through the opening.</p> - -<p>The ladder must have been shoved to one side, or perhaps it was the -claustrophobic effect of going through the small opening—anyway, -something. It turned his mind, his body, wrong-side out. Like the -squeezing out of a wet mop by a steamroller.</p> - -<p>At the foot of the ladder, the man in the bartender's jacket led him to -the three men. One of them, exceptionally fat, jovial, excused himself -politely and took Ernie aside.</p> - -<p>"You look pale, Ernie," he said. "Having trouble?"</p> - -<p>Groggily, Ernie looked about him. "It's this room. It's lopsided. I -think a good thirty degrees cattywonkus."</p> - -<p>The man doused a cigar and a quick frown crossed his brow. "Good point. -Very good point. Come with me, Ernie."</p> - -<p>Ernie looked; the other men paid him no mind. The little man waddled -through a maze of foundation columns, as if the whole world were -suspended above them. He walked behind the bar to a small glass-encased -desk, U-shaped and covered with dials all reading A-B-C-D.</p> - -<p>"Kronkite!" the man called. A whirring inside the room shut off. A man -with goggles and a metal halo stuck his head out the door. "Kronkite, -Ernie here says we are thirty degrees off. Can you shift the -equilibrium? Frankly, I hadn't noticed it."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>With a silent nod, the man named Kronkite shut the transparent door, -turned three knobs, a bell clanged and the floor of the whole affair -sank some thirty degrees on one side, rose thirty on the other. Then -the whirring in the chamber resumed and Ernie was led back to the bar.</p> - -<p>"Have yourself a drink, man," his host coaxed.</p> - -<p>"I don't need one," Ernie said. "Listen, before we go on, just one -question—"</p> - -<p>The man smiled pleasantly.</p> - -<p>"Where the heck am I? And what is this going on in my basement?"</p> - -<p>The smile continued. It was maddening.</p> - -<p>"Well?" said Ernie.</p> - -<p>"You are here," the man finally said. "And don't be silly, Ernie. Your -house has no basement."</p> - -<p>Ernie turned to the bartender. "I think I <i>will</i> have a drink."</p> - -<p>"Make it a triple," the little man called, and the bartender smiled as -if his face hurt.</p> - -<p>There was a pained expression on Ernie. He sank his head into his arms.</p> - -<p>"Cheer up," the man said. "It isn't worth all that."</p> - -<p>"What isn't?"</p> - -<p>"Be happy, man."</p> - -<p>"I'll be happy when I get out of here, but I'll be hilarious when I -find out the score—and I plan to be hilarious before I get happy. Is -that clear?"</p> - -<p>"You talk as if you had been drinking already, man. Snap out of it. I -like men with clear heads."</p> - -<p>It was not only a delaying tactic, Ernie thought; it was plainly a -case of nerve-busting. They were going to force it out of him. He had -already conceded they were not a gang of thieves using his basement -for a hideaway; they were not digging a secret tunnel for the Defense -Department.</p> - -<p>"You like men with clear heads? What am I, some sort of recruit?"</p> - -<p>"Now!" the man exclaimed, suddenly thrust into a new frame of mind. "We -are now on the same plane. You <i>are</i> a recruit and we can understand -each other now."</p> - -<p>"So where is this?"</p> - -<p>"This is your house, of course, but we're not quite there yet. We're in -what you would call—oh, another dimension."</p> - -<p>Ernie reached for the drink and sniffed it. Its smell fitted the -situation. "And what does that mean?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, you and I have lived in the same vicinity all our lives, -even crossed each other's paths, but we are in different -dimensions—different worlds in the same place."</p> - -<p>"You mean like Mars and Earth?"</p> - -<p>"I mean like Mars <i>in</i> Earth, or vice versa," the man answered.</p> - -<p>Ernie jumped up and started for the ladder. "I'm getting out of here—"</p> - -<p>"Don't be a fool! Climb that ladder and you'll butt your skull in!"</p> - -<p>"I came through the hatch. I'll leave through the hatch."</p> - -<p>"But we've shifted thirty degrees. You told us to. Now the top of the -ladder is thirty degrees away from the door of the laundry chute, which -is quite impossible to reach, my friend, because there is perhaps dirt -and a foundation and everything else in the way. We'd have to tear -out our own structure and gouge into yours. This we cannot do. Too -expensive."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Ernie had heard enough. He climbed the ladder to the top, butted his -head and climbed down. "Okay. You win. What's the score?"</p> - -<p>"You and Marsha," the man said.</p> - -<p>"Melinee," Ernie corrected.</p> - -<p>"Melinee in your dimension, Marsha in ours. You and she exist in our -dimension as well. Same types, same characteristics inwardly. But not -the same outwardly. Different hair, different name—your own features -were to be slightly different here."</p> - -<p>Ernie sat down on the sofa beside the two old men. He buried his head. -"This is the other dimension? Then where is the other me?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no," his host said. "This is not 'the other' dimension. This is -the <i>experimental</i> dimension. <i>You</i> are from the second. What we are -both in is a third realm sponsored by the government—the federal -government of The Unison States. Congrice sponsored this scientific -investigation, provided we could accomplish it before the session ends."</p> - -<p>The first desire to laugh at the stupidity of the nightmare grappled -with Ernie. But when he looked at that ladder and remembered the bump -on his head, he knew this was not the time or place for a nightmare.</p> - -<p>The man went on, "So we talked Senatore Jumphries into wielding his -might in committee, the committee on extra-dimensional perception -talked to the President Eisenhoovelt, he addressed the Congrice, and by -the single vote of Demorep Martini, this thing was financed for short -duration."</p> - -<p>Ernie opened his eyes and looked beyond the bar and the experimental -lab. It was like the inside of a giant ship in space or a vessel -plowing the Pacific. It spread into distant chasms of darkness.</p> - -<p>"Our object, of course, is to start out the new dimension with an Adam -and Eve," the host said.</p> - -<p>Ernie sneered. "You think you can start a new world!"</p> - -<p>"Oh, we've begun it. And we chose your home because here you are two -young newlyweds just starting out in life, not too concerned that the -future holds nothing more for you than junior assistant to the vice -president—ever! Here you have more chance for development, advancement -and enjoyment. We have effected changes—your Melinee, for example. You -and Marsha will run this dimension. You and she will—"</p> - -<p>"We will not, and I'm going to Melinee now. Let me out of here."</p> - -<p>The man politely hid a laugh. "Dear sir, I assure you there is no way -out of the dimension. You are trapped. You must remain now, regardless, -and conduct our experiment for us."</p> - -<p>"You got through to our world to find out about us," Ernie said. "How -can you keep me here?"</p> - -<p>"But we entered your world from our own dimension. Our people pass back -and forth all the time, unknown to your people. But from this special -contraption which Congrice has rigged up for us, there is no immediate -escape."</p> - -<p>Ernie got mad. "Then what the devil are these people doing here?"</p> - -<p>"Sh," the man said, "those are our Congrice observers." He seemed -extremely disturbed. "Don't let them know how you feel. They get angry -at people who take them on wild-goose chases."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>There was a sudden feeling of hope that Ernie held a monkey wrench in -his hand. First, he would find out all about the thing, then he would -raise hail Columbia to the two Congrice observers and get them to -thumbs-down the experiment. Then, if there was an ounce of humaneness -in them, they would free him.</p> - -<p>"Okay, I'll calm down. But let me know the rest. When will I see -Melinee?"</p> - -<p>"Marsha," the man said firmly, "will be along shortly. We must first -lift the initial dimension prototype to the exact level of your house. -Every coordinate must match each stick of furniture in your own -dimension. Then we can begin working outward—"</p> - -<p>"Working outward?"</p> - -<p>"From your house. It is to be the beginning of this—er—civilization -you and Marsha are to create. You will observe in each direction there -is still darkness? When we have manipulated the realm into the exact -position of the ground floor of your house, we will install a series of -transitional burnouts. These will break down molecular resistance which -our more powerful equipment creates on solid portions of your house. -Everything will fit into place, and you and Marsha will report to us -regularly."</p> - -<p>Ernie was fuming. "Then we are your prisoners?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, but you'll enjoy every minute of it! We created the origin, the -nucleus, in the home of some newlywed in your dimension for the mere -purpose of convenience of adaptability. We will bring in teams who -will plant ersatz crops, trees, cut streams, create weather—put life -into the whole place. With your dimension's home and our dimension's -scientific advantages, you can have full reign of populating a -wonderful new world."</p> - -<p>Ernie was madder than he had ever remembered. "And if I refuse?"</p> - -<p>"You can't refuse. Marsha will be here momentarily; we have been -experimenting with her changes in hair, mood, expression—we hypnotized -her on occasions. The extra door in the hallways? Sooner or later she -will see it, wonder as you did and open it. This time we will have the -magnetic field force turned on. You see, Ernie, you came in the wrong -way and—" and here he paused abruptly—"quite a problem has been -posed."</p> - -<p>"I'll say it has!"</p> - -<p>"Yes. You see, you were supposed to come through the door, and you -still will, for there was a technical miscalculation in our instruments -which, while allowing you to enter this new dimension, also did not -allow you to enter. You yourself suggested we correct by thirty whole -degrees. Well, we are not set up for more than one field force entrance -per person. The Congrice didn't allot us that much money."</p> - -<p>Ernie's eyes grew wild and bright. "So, technically, I'm not even here?"</p> - -<p>"Technically, your other self is still up by the laundry chute looking -in or going back to bed, or whatever." He scratched his balding head. -"Really an unfortunate event. For when the other you enters our hallway -door, we shall have to do away with one of you. It would not only -frighten Marsha, but the federal government would accuse us of waste, -corruption and heaven knows what else."</p> - -<p>The wildness in Ernie's eyes turned into a gleam. "You mean your -government just wouldn't understand?"</p> - -<p>"Right," the man said unhappily. "There's more politics in science than -you'd ever believe possible."</p> - -<p>"Mister, I think I have a solution."</p> - -<p>"You <i>have</i>?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Ernie walked to the bar, grabbed an armful of magnums, then walked to -the plastic experimental table, flung open the door, slung bottle after -bottle at the instruments, caused three small explosions, a sputtering -red fire, a terrible burst of black smoke and a sudden explosion that -turned the whole new dimension—such as it was—into a white blinding -sun.</p> - -<p>When the nausea left, he saw the bodies lying on a green grassy area -in what seemed to be Washington, D. C. He made his way in torn pajamas -to Unison Station, paid a man to go out and buy him a second-hand suit -by giving up his gold wedding band, then found the Senatoreale Office -Building, located the office of the Senatore of Iowaki, as he had -planned to do, and asked for permission to enter the "other" dimension -to take home movies. The senatore asked him the name of his home town, -accused him of lisping it, handed him a year's free pass to Other World -and a two-year pass to the Senatoreale in session.</p> - -<p>Ernie, following instructions on the card, walked to a little white -building near the Washingable Monument, stepped inside, handed a man -his Other World card, then walked through a door, felt sick at his -stomach, came out to the streetcar line to Melinee and home.</p> - -<p>When he got there, it was almost daylight, and the front door was -locked. He climbed through an upstairs window, looked through the -laundry chute, saw nothing and returned to his bed. Melinee was still -sleeping soundly.</p> - -<p>He wrestled with his pillow a while. Then the alarm went off.</p> - -<p>The rest was simple. At breakfast he told her he was taking the day off.</p> - -<p>"Darling, why on Earth?"</p> - -<p>"We're moving," he said.</p> - -<p>"But <i>why</i>?"</p> - -<p>"There was an explosion in the night. I think it was gas escaping."</p> - -<p>"We might have died!" she cried.</p> - -<p>Ernie closed his eyes. "Go look in the hall, dear, and tell me what you -see."</p> - -<p>When she returned, she was in a quandary.</p> - -<p>"Well?" he asked. "Did you see that crazy extra door blown off the -wall?"</p> - -<p>"No, Ernie, but there's a man at the door in pajamas like yours who -claims he's been following you."</p> - -<p>Ernie squinted. "Who is he?"</p> - -<p>"He says his name is Irvin—"</p> - -<p>"Irvin?" Ernie barked.</p> - -<p>"—and, dear, he's the spitting image of you."</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's Thirty Degrees Cattywonkus, by James Bell - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY DEGREES CATTYWONKUS *** - -***** This file should be named 60862-h.htm or 60862-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/8/6/60862/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll -have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using -this ebook. - - - -Title: Thirty Degrees Cattywonkus - -Author: James Bell - -Release Date: December 6, 2019 [EBook #60862] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY DEGREES CATTYWONKUS *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - Thirty Degrees Cattywonkus - - By JAMES BELL - - _It doesn't take a heap of leaving - to make any house a nightmare. One - vanishing door will do nastily._ - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Worlds of If Science Fiction, May 1960. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - -It was a tremendous house. And they were newlyweds. And were still a -mite flighty. And for a while that accounted for the whole thing. - -At the moment, it seemed to Ernie Lane that in a house which even the -real estate agent said had "either" eleven or twelve rooms, it was -quite conceivable that he and Melinee had overlooked that extra room. - -After all, they had only been living at 1312 Cedar Lane for four days -and had hardly had time to make a complete survey of the place. - -Now it was quite different. For Ernie Lane had stopped walking -hurriedly past that extra door, had stopped giving it only casual -curiosity, had even stopped wondering afterward. - -This night he had come home a bit tired, gone directly to greet his -loving wife, and then decided to put a stop to the gnawing question. - -While Melinee fried the chicken, Ernie walked carefully and wordlessly -to the dim hallway. He went past the staircase, past the telephone, to -the darkest spot between the living room and the study. He stood for a -strange moment--there was no extra door. - -He felt the refinished wall, his fingertips searching for hidden -panels. There was none. - -"Supper's ready," Melinee called. "Ernie?" - -But it had been there last night, the night before, the night before -that, and the very first night the real estate agent brought them over. -In fact, he recalled, that was the reason the agent had been uncertain -about the number of rooms. And why had he passed it off as a joke, -simply turning from the extra door without opening it? - -Ernie felt again. - -It was ceasing to be a joke. He was not a man of hallucinations. He was -not a victim of superstition, fear or near-sightedness. He only wanted -to know why he saw a door one day and didn't see it the next. - -He called a comforting word to his wife, then reached for the telephone -book. He found the name of Hartley and Hartley, Real Estate. PLaza -0-6633. Without any undue commotion, he dialed. In a moment, a woman's -voice at the other end seemed to barge into his life. - -"Special operator. Number, please?" - -"PLaza 0-6633." - -"Sorry, sir, we have no such number--" - -Ernie let a disgruntled voice thunder into the phone: "Then what the -heck is Hartley and Hartley Realty doing with it?" - -A pause. Then she replied, "Sir, we have no Hartley and Hartley--" - -"Don't be silly," he said. "I just found it in the phone book." - -She answered, "We have a Hartfield and Hatley, Realtors, Inc., sir, but -no Hartley and Hartley. Their number is in the directory." - -Melinee was standing behind him. "Who are you calling?" - -He was shaken, but he managed to appear calm as he hung up. He even -relaxed against the wall. "I was trying to get the real estate agent on -the phone--these lights ought to be brighter--and I thought he could -refer us to his electrician." - -"His what?" Melinee asked. - -"Elec--" He halted. "Never mind, honey. I'm beat--rough day. I need -fried chicken." He hugged his trim, prim wife and they walked toward -the kitchen arm in arm. But it was not until they settled at the table -that he saw, under the bright electric light, that her hair was red, -not blonde, and he immediately felt he'd been gypped. - -Her smirky little voice added to the shock. "Darling, don't call me -Melinee when my name is Marsha. It just isn't done." - - * * * * * - -On purpose, Ernie spent an uneventful evening, arose the next morning, -ignored his wife's red hair, conveniently forgot her name, avoided even -checking to see if the door was there, and saved up a sneer for the -telephone. - -During the day, his business life was perfect. He got the Jenkins -account, lunched with the boss, and was asked to serve on the -membership committee in the Chamber of Commerce drive. However, during -the afternoon he developed a terrific headache and excused himself from -the office long enough to see the company physician. - -The thin, foxy doctor handed him a pill and a glass of water. After -Ernie had swallowed the pill politely, the physician leaned forward -and gazed at his eyes and forehead. "Tell me, Lane--you're a newlywed, -aren't you?" - -Ernie nodded. - -"Then why the worried frown? You seem to be carrying the Rock of -Gibraltar on your shoulders. Is your job too much for you?" - -"Of course not," Ernie said, smiling. "I told you I had a headache." - -"Perhaps," the doctor said, smiling back. "You seemed to have been in -something of a prepossessed state when you came in. I was just curious." - -Ernie laughed it off and at the doctor's request lay on a cot for a -period of ten minutes. When he returned to the office, there was a -request that he call a "Marsha." - -The sudden venomous thoughts of the evening before spun before his -eyes. What the devil was going on with the woman? The new name, the new -hair-do, the new smirk in her voice--that wasn't the woman he married. -He grabbed the phone and called home. - -Twenty rings. No answer. - -It was a quarter of four when the switchboard notified him that his -wife was on the line. "Hello, Ernie? This is Melinee. I'm at the Lee -Hat Shop. Can you meet me in half an hour? I want to do some shopping -and I thought we'd have supper and maybe see a movie." - -Melinee? It was all like a breath of spring. Away from that house, she -was a different person. Happily, he agreed to buying her a new hat, -supper and a ticket to Loew's State. For Melinee, anything. For Marsha, -nothing. - -And when they met, surely enough her hair was blonde again and the -smirk in her voice was gone. She was his bride, and he forgot whatever -the past, present or future might hold. - -The future, however, was not long coming. After the movie, they -returned home and were about to settle down when, passing along the -hallway, Ernie looked over his shoulder and saw the extra door. -Quickly, he reached past Melinee and grasped the knob with his hand. - -"Ernie, what on _Earth_!" - -She startled him. He laughed, and they went in to bed. - -It was around one A.M. when Ernie decided he would not be able to put -off any longer the chore of exploring that hall door. It plainly had -not been there the night before; it plainly was there tonight. - -He tiptoed softly from bed and left the room. Melinee did not even -stir. He closed the door lightly and cat-footed his way through the -darkness to the wall switch at the foot of the stairs. - -Stealthily looking all about him, as if someone or something might -suddenly try to stop him, Ernie sneaked up on the door. He grabbed the -knob with both hands, turned it briskly and the door swung open. - -The pale green wall of the hallway confronted him. It was as if the -door were merely hinged onto the wall. No opening whatever. - - * * * * * - -He tapped it with his knuckles. Then he examined the door. It was a -French style thing extending from floor to ceiling with contrasting -green slats. Identical with those appearing all along the hallways, -most of them closet doors. - -Just for the heck of it, he thought he would drag out a hammer and -uncork the screws holding the false door--carry it to some conspicuous -place and observe as it went through its next disappearing act. But as -he turned to head for the tool cabinet, Ernie heard the din of distant -shouting--as if a room-full of men were playing cards. - -And yet not so distant. For a moment the world became silent. Ernie -pressed an ear against the wall behind the false doorway. It seemed to -be coming from inside, and there were only a few words of any audible -clarity. "Maximum--not much longer--and logarithms--" - -Ernie tried the adjacent door. It opened into a small storage room, -unlighted. He felt around the wall paneling, but no switch. Gauging -the dimensions, it seemed to him that the storage room practically -accounted for all the space behind the hall. If the fake door opened -onto a room, it could only be this room, and there was nothing here. - -He listened. No sound inside the confines of the room. But the moment -he returned, pressed his ear against the outer wall, Ernie heard them -shouting again. It was as if the wall were twelve inches thick--as if -he were not hearing anything at all--and yet hearing. - -The thought struck him--there was a laundry chute opening from the -second floor to the storage room. Provided they wanted to install a -chute. Meanwhile, the agent had told him, it would remain just a hole -in the floor. - -He and Melinee had not made any plans for developing the second floor. -It was evident that his mother would one day have to live with them, -and her own invalid sister, in time. And then whatever children there -might be. But so far he and Melinee had actually made only one trip up -there with the agent. - -In fact, there was no electrical connection to the upstairs whatever. -Ernie remembered the layout, however, and made his way up the stairs -that creaked in defiance of the agent's compliments. When he reached -the top in the pitch blackness, he felt for the wall. - -A strange coldness not at all common to the summer season moved out -along the hallway. It seemed to hover around him, curious of the -intruder. - -Imagination. - -He walked on, an inch at a time, for he remembered a small table about -half way along. But he never felt the table. Ernie reached the end of -the hall before he was sure--and where had the table gone? - -He returned along the opposite wall until he felt the small square -paneling. Then a brass knob. He pulled it open, half expecting the end -of the world. And at that point, a bluish haze filled with gaseous, -luminous smoke rose out and blinded him. - -When the obnoxious odor of the smoke was gone, he took a deep breath -and stuck his head in again. Directly below him sat three men, fat and -jovial, shaking their pipes at one another. There was a row of red and -white lighted tubes, not unlike fluorescents, a mahoganylike counter -that might pass for a bar, and a row of bottles against a mirror. - - * * * * * - -The dimensions immediately struck Ernie as all wrong. It was far bigger -than the hall closet where it was supposed to be. In fact, the portion -he saw seemed to be the focal point of a large dance hall or bar room. -But the most obvious quality of the scene was the tilted floor. The -whole thing seemed to be about thirty degrees lopsided. - -Ernie could go immediately back to bed and tell of his dream tomorrow, -or he could make things worse by yelling at the men below. - - * * * * * - -It wasn't necessary to yell. As if they had seen him through the tops -of their balding heads, they motioned to the bartender, then pointed -squarely at his vantage point. Ernie felt the quavering impulse to run, -and yet even in a nightmare you try desperately to learn the ending. - -The man in the white coat set the ladder firmly against the floor so -that the top ended in the slightest kind of tilt near the chute door. -It was not Ernie's intention to crawl through the door, but the way the -man motioned, and the way the men turned briefly and waved, simply as -if they might be old acquaintances waiting for him in a hotel lobby--it -was, to say the very least, overwhelming. - -There was a fragrance, an allure about the room. It smelled of apples -and tobacco and brought nostalgic thoughts of college days and--and -faint wisps of the past that were not nostalgic. He thought of Melinee. -He really ought to tell her about this. - -The chalky finger motioning at him, the unconcerned old men on the -sofa--and the table. It was the antique table, missing from the -upstairs hall, that lured him in. There it sat against the far wall. He -grabbed a jutting two-by-four and twisted his body through the opening. - -The ladder must have been shoved to one side, or perhaps it was the -claustrophobic effect of going through the small opening--anyway, -something. It turned his mind, his body, wrong-side out. Like the -squeezing out of a wet mop by a steamroller. - -At the foot of the ladder, the man in the bartender's jacket led him to -the three men. One of them, exceptionally fat, jovial, excused himself -politely and took Ernie aside. - -"You look pale, Ernie," he said. "Having trouble?" - -Groggily, Ernie looked about him. "It's this room. It's lopsided. I -think a good thirty degrees cattywonkus." - -The man doused a cigar and a quick frown crossed his brow. "Good point. -Very good point. Come with me, Ernie." - -Ernie looked; the other men paid him no mind. The little man waddled -through a maze of foundation columns, as if the whole world were -suspended above them. He walked behind the bar to a small glass-encased -desk, U-shaped and covered with dials all reading A-B-C-D. - -"Kronkite!" the man called. A whirring inside the room shut off. A man -with goggles and a metal halo stuck his head out the door. "Kronkite, -Ernie here says we are thirty degrees off. Can you shift the -equilibrium? Frankly, I hadn't noticed it." - - * * * * * - -With a silent nod, the man named Kronkite shut the transparent door, -turned three knobs, a bell clanged and the floor of the whole affair -sank some thirty degrees on one side, rose thirty on the other. Then -the whirring in the chamber resumed and Ernie was led back to the bar. - -"Have yourself a drink, man," his host coaxed. - -"I don't need one," Ernie said. "Listen, before we go on, just one -question--" - -The man smiled pleasantly. - -"Where the heck am I? And what is this going on in my basement?" - -The smile continued. It was maddening. - -"Well?" said Ernie. - -"You are here," the man finally said. "And don't be silly, Ernie. Your -house has no basement." - -Ernie turned to the bartender. "I think I _will_ have a drink." - -"Make it a triple," the little man called, and the bartender smiled as -if his face hurt. - -There was a pained expression on Ernie. He sank his head into his arms. - -"Cheer up," the man said. "It isn't worth all that." - -"What isn't?" - -"Be happy, man." - -"I'll be happy when I get out of here, but I'll be hilarious when I -find out the score--and I plan to be hilarious before I get happy. Is -that clear?" - -"You talk as if you had been drinking already, man. Snap out of it. I -like men with clear heads." - -It was not only a delaying tactic, Ernie thought; it was plainly a -case of nerve-busting. They were going to force it out of him. He had -already conceded they were not a gang of thieves using his basement -for a hideaway; they were not digging a secret tunnel for the Defense -Department. - -"You like men with clear heads? What am I, some sort of recruit?" - -"Now!" the man exclaimed, suddenly thrust into a new frame of mind. "We -are now on the same plane. You _are_ a recruit and we can understand -each other now." - -"So where is this?" - -"This is your house, of course, but we're not quite there yet. We're in -what you would call--oh, another dimension." - -Ernie reached for the drink and sniffed it. Its smell fitted the -situation. "And what does that mean?" - -"Oh, you and I have lived in the same vicinity all our lives, -even crossed each other's paths, but we are in different -dimensions--different worlds in the same place." - -"You mean like Mars and Earth?" - -"I mean like Mars _in_ Earth, or vice versa," the man answered. - -Ernie jumped up and started for the ladder. "I'm getting out of here--" - -"Don't be a fool! Climb that ladder and you'll butt your skull in!" - -"I came through the hatch. I'll leave through the hatch." - -"But we've shifted thirty degrees. You told us to. Now the top of the -ladder is thirty degrees away from the door of the laundry chute, which -is quite impossible to reach, my friend, because there is perhaps dirt -and a foundation and everything else in the way. We'd have to tear -out our own structure and gouge into yours. This we cannot do. Too -expensive." - - * * * * * - -Ernie had heard enough. He climbed the ladder to the top, butted his -head and climbed down. "Okay. You win. What's the score?" - -"You and Marsha," the man said. - -"Melinee," Ernie corrected. - -"Melinee in your dimension, Marsha in ours. You and she exist in our -dimension as well. Same types, same characteristics inwardly. But not -the same outwardly. Different hair, different name--your own features -were to be slightly different here." - -Ernie sat down on the sofa beside the two old men. He buried his head. -"This is the other dimension? Then where is the other me?" - -"Oh, no," his host said. "This is not 'the other' dimension. This is -the _experimental_ dimension. _You_ are from the second. What we are -both in is a third realm sponsored by the government--the federal -government of The Unison States. Congrice sponsored this scientific -investigation, provided we could accomplish it before the session ends." - -The first desire to laugh at the stupidity of the nightmare grappled -with Ernie. But when he looked at that ladder and remembered the bump -on his head, he knew this was not the time or place for a nightmare. - -The man went on, "So we talked Senatore Jumphries into wielding his -might in committee, the committee on extra-dimensional perception -talked to the President Eisenhoovelt, he addressed the Congrice, and by -the single vote of Demorep Martini, this thing was financed for short -duration." - -Ernie opened his eyes and looked beyond the bar and the experimental -lab. It was like the inside of a giant ship in space or a vessel -plowing the Pacific. It spread into distant chasms of darkness. - -"Our object, of course, is to start out the new dimension with an Adam -and Eve," the host said. - -Ernie sneered. "You think you can start a new world!" - -"Oh, we've begun it. And we chose your home because here you are two -young newlyweds just starting out in life, not too concerned that the -future holds nothing more for you than junior assistant to the vice -president--ever! Here you have more chance for development, advancement -and enjoyment. We have effected changes--your Melinee, for example. You -and Marsha will run this dimension. You and she will--" - -"We will not, and I'm going to Melinee now. Let me out of here." - -The man politely hid a laugh. "Dear sir, I assure you there is no way -out of the dimension. You are trapped. You must remain now, regardless, -and conduct our experiment for us." - -"You got through to our world to find out about us," Ernie said. "How -can you keep me here?" - -"But we entered your world from our own dimension. Our people pass back -and forth all the time, unknown to your people. But from this special -contraption which Congrice has rigged up for us, there is no immediate -escape." - -Ernie got mad. "Then what the devil are these people doing here?" - -"Sh," the man said, "those are our Congrice observers." He seemed -extremely disturbed. "Don't let them know how you feel. They get angry -at people who take them on wild-goose chases." - - * * * * * - -There was a sudden feeling of hope that Ernie held a monkey wrench in -his hand. First, he would find out all about the thing, then he would -raise hail Columbia to the two Congrice observers and get them to -thumbs-down the experiment. Then, if there was an ounce of humaneness -in them, they would free him. - -"Okay, I'll calm down. But let me know the rest. When will I see -Melinee?" - -"Marsha," the man said firmly, "will be along shortly. We must first -lift the initial dimension prototype to the exact level of your house. -Every coordinate must match each stick of furniture in your own -dimension. Then we can begin working outward--" - -"Working outward?" - -"From your house. It is to be the beginning of this--er--civilization -you and Marsha are to create. You will observe in each direction there -is still darkness? When we have manipulated the realm into the exact -position of the ground floor of your house, we will install a series of -transitional burnouts. These will break down molecular resistance which -our more powerful equipment creates on solid portions of your house. -Everything will fit into place, and you and Marsha will report to us -regularly." - -Ernie was fuming. "Then we are your prisoners?" - -"Oh, but you'll enjoy every minute of it! We created the origin, the -nucleus, in the home of some newlywed in your dimension for the mere -purpose of convenience of adaptability. We will bring in teams who -will plant ersatz crops, trees, cut streams, create weather--put life -into the whole place. With your dimension's home and our dimension's -scientific advantages, you can have full reign of populating a -wonderful new world." - -Ernie was madder than he had ever remembered. "And if I refuse?" - -"You can't refuse. Marsha will be here momentarily; we have been -experimenting with her changes in hair, mood, expression--we hypnotized -her on occasions. The extra door in the hallways? Sooner or later she -will see it, wonder as you did and open it. This time we will have the -magnetic field force turned on. You see, Ernie, you came in the wrong -way and--" and here he paused abruptly--"quite a problem has been -posed." - -"I'll say it has!" - -"Yes. You see, you were supposed to come through the door, and you -still will, for there was a technical miscalculation in our instruments -which, while allowing you to enter this new dimension, also did not -allow you to enter. You yourself suggested we correct by thirty whole -degrees. Well, we are not set up for more than one field force entrance -per person. The Congrice didn't allot us that much money." - -Ernie's eyes grew wild and bright. "So, technically, I'm not even here?" - -"Technically, your other self is still up by the laundry chute looking -in or going back to bed, or whatever." He scratched his balding head. -"Really an unfortunate event. For when the other you enters our hallway -door, we shall have to do away with one of you. It would not only -frighten Marsha, but the federal government would accuse us of waste, -corruption and heaven knows what else." - -The wildness in Ernie's eyes turned into a gleam. "You mean your -government just wouldn't understand?" - -"Right," the man said unhappily. "There's more politics in science than -you'd ever believe possible." - -"Mister, I think I have a solution." - -"You _have_?" - - * * * * * - -Ernie walked to the bar, grabbed an armful of magnums, then walked to -the plastic experimental table, flung open the door, slung bottle after -bottle at the instruments, caused three small explosions, a sputtering -red fire, a terrible burst of black smoke and a sudden explosion that -turned the whole new dimension--such as it was--into a white blinding -sun. - -When the nausea left, he saw the bodies lying on a green grassy area -in what seemed to be Washington, D. C. He made his way in torn pajamas -to Unison Station, paid a man to go out and buy him a second-hand suit -by giving up his gold wedding band, then found the Senatoreale Office -Building, located the office of the Senatore of Iowaki, as he had -planned to do, and asked for permission to enter the "other" dimension -to take home movies. The senatore asked him the name of his home town, -accused him of lisping it, handed him a year's free pass to Other World -and a two-year pass to the Senatoreale in session. - -Ernie, following instructions on the card, walked to a little white -building near the Washingable Monument, stepped inside, handed a man -his Other World card, then walked through a door, felt sick at his -stomach, came out to the streetcar line to Melinee and home. - -When he got there, it was almost daylight, and the front door was -locked. He climbed through an upstairs window, looked through the -laundry chute, saw nothing and returned to his bed. Melinee was still -sleeping soundly. - -He wrestled with his pillow a while. Then the alarm went off. - -The rest was simple. At breakfast he told her he was taking the day off. - -"Darling, why on Earth?" - -"We're moving," he said. - -"But _why_?" - -"There was an explosion in the night. I think it was gas escaping." - -"We might have died!" she cried. - -Ernie closed his eyes. "Go look in the hall, dear, and tell me what you -see." - -When she returned, she was in a quandary. - -"Well?" he asked. "Did you see that crazy extra door blown off the -wall?" - -"No, Ernie, but there's a man at the door in pajamas like yours who -claims he's been following you." - -Ernie squinted. "Who is he?" - -"He says his name is Irvin--" - -"Irvin?" Ernie barked. - -"--and, dear, he's the spitting image of you." - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's Thirty Degrees Cattywonkus, by James Bell - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY DEGREES CATTYWONKUS *** - -***** This file should be named 60862.txt or 60862.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/8/6/60862/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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