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- margin-bottom: .1em; - visibility: hidden; - color: white; - width: .01em; - display: none; - } - - blockquote {margin: 1.5em 3% 1.5em 3%;} - - .poem-container {text-align: left; margin-left: 5%;} - .poem {display: block; max-width: 20em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} - .poem .stanza {page-break-inside: avoid;} - - .transnote { - page-break-inside: avoid; - margin-left: 2%; - margin-right: 2%; - margin-top: 1em; - margin-bottom: 1em; - padding: .5em; - } - -} - </style> - </head> - -<body> - - -<pre> - -Project Gutenberg's The Fortunate Island and Other Stories, by Max Adeler - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Fortunate Island and Other Stories - -Author: Max Adeler - -Release Date: November 4, 2019 [EBook #60632] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FORTUNATE ISLAND, OTHER STORIES *** - - - - -Produced by Tim Lindell, Charlie Howard, and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div id="if_i_001" class="figcenter" style="max-width: 27em;"> - <img src="images/i_001.png" width="417" height="604" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><span class="smcap">An old Man’s Blessing.</span> <a class="in1 smaller" href="#Page_126">Page 126</a>.</div></div> - -<div class="center wspace"> -<h1><span class="small">THE</span><br /> -FORTUNATE ISLAND<br /> - -<span class="small"><i>AND OTHER STORIES</i></span></h1> - -<p class="p2 larger"><span class="smcap">By</span> MAX ADELER</p> - -<p class="small">AUTHOR OF “OUT OF THE HURLY BURLY” “ELBOW ROOM”<br /> -“RANDOM SHOTS” ETC.</p> - -<p class="p2 larger vspace">BOSTON<br /> -LEE AND SHEPARD PUBLISHERS<br /> -<span class="smaller">NEW YORK CHARLES T. DILLINGHAM<br /> -1882</span> -</p> - -<hr /> - -<p class="newpage p4 vspace"> -<span class="smcap">Copyright, 1881,<br /> -By Chas. Heber Clark.</span> -</p> - -<p class="p1 smaller"><i><span class="bt">All Rights Reserved.</span></i></p> -</div> - -<hr /> - -<h2 class="newpage p4 gesperrt" id="PREFACE">PREFACE.</h2> - -<p>The custom which has ordained that a book -shall have a preface is useful enough to writers -who have to say to their readers something which -could not properly be said in the body of the text; -but it imposes a burden upon those who have no -such communication to make. The author of the -present volume considers that he may fairly perform -the task by remarking that if the tales herein -contained are not so amusing as others he has -written, they will perhaps be found to be quite as -entertaining, and possibly, in some particulars, -more instructive. If they shall be received by the -public with the favor that was found by the preceding -volumes, the author will have reason to congratulate -himself that they have achieved success -of a somewhat remarkable character.</p> - -<p class="sigright larger"> -<span class="smcap">Max Adeler.</span> -</p> - -<hr /> - -<h2 class="gesperrt" id="CONTENTS">CONTENTS.</h2> - -<table id="toc" summary="Contents"> - <tr class="small"> - <td> </td> - <td class="tdr">PAGE</td></tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">The Fortunate Island</span></td> - <td class="tdr"><a href="#THE_FORTUNATE_ISLAND">9</a></td></tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">The City of Burlesque</span></td> - <td class="tdr"><a href="#THE_CITY_OF_BURLESQUE">107</a></td></tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">An Old Fogy</span></td> - <td class="tdr"><a href="#AN_OLD_FOGY">221</a></td></tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Major Dunwoody’s Leg</span></td> - <td class="tdr"><a href="#MAJOR_DUNWOODYS_LEG">252</a></td></tr> - <tr> - <td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Jinnie</span></td> - <td class="tdr"><a href="#JINNIE">311</a></td></tr> -</table> - -<hr /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2><span class="larger wspace">THE FORTUNATE ISLAND</span></h2> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">9</span></p> - -<h2 class="newpage p4" id="THE_FORTUNATE_ISLAND">THE FORTUNATE ISLAND.</h2> - -<h3>CHAPTER I.<br /> - -<span class="subhead">THE ISLAND.</span></h3> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_009.png" width="66" height="68" alt="W" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword">When</span> the good ship “Morning Star,” -bound to Liverpool from New York, -foundered at sea, the officers, the crew, -and all of the passengers but two, escaped in the -boats. Professor E. L. Baffin and his daughter, -Matilda Baffin, preferred to intrust themselves to -a patent india-rubber life-raft, which the Professor -was carrying with him to Europe, with the hope -that he should sell certain patent rights in the contrivance.</p> - -<p>There was time enough, before the ship sank, to -inflate the raft and to place upon it all of the -trunks and bundles belonging to the Professor and -Matilda. These were lashed firmly to the rubber -cylinders, and thus Professor Baffin was encouraged -to believe that he might save from destruction<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">10</span> -all of the scientific implements and apparatus -which he had brought with him from the Wingohocking -University to illustrate the course of lectures -which he had engaged to give in England -and Scotland.</p> - -<p>Having made the luggage fast, the Professor -handed Matilda down from the ship’s side, and -when he had tied her to one of the trunks and -secured himself to another, he cut the raft adrift, -and, with the occupants of the boats, sorrowfully -watched the brave old “Morning Star” settle -down deeper and deeper into the water; until at -last, with a final plunge, she dipped beneath the -surface and disappeared.</p> - -<p>The prospect was a cheerless one for all of the -party. The sea was not dangerously rough; but -the captain estimated that the nearest land was at -least eight hundred miles distant; and, although -there were in the boats and upon the raft provisions -and water enough for several days, the -chance was small that a port could be made before -the supplies should be exhausted. There was, -moreover, almost a certainty that the boats would be -swamped if they should encounter a severe storm.</p> - -<p>The Professor, for his part, felt confident that -the raft would outlive any storm; but his shipmates -regarded his confidence in it as an indication -of partial insanity.</p> - -<p>The captain rested his expectations of getting<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">11</span> -ashore chiefly upon the fact that they were in the -line of greatest travel across the Atlantic, so that -they might reasonably look to meet, within a day -or two, with a vessel of some kind which would -rescue them.</p> - -<p>As the night came on, it was agreed that the -boats and the raft should keep together, and the -captain had provided a lantern, which was swung, -lighted, aloft upon an oar, so that the position of -his boat could be determined. The Professor, with -his raft under sail, steered along in the wake of the -boats for several hours, Matilda, meanwhile, sleeping -calmly, after the exciting and exhausting labors -of the day, upon a couple of trunks.</p> - -<p>As the night wore on, a brisk wind sprang up, -and shortly afterward the light upon the captain’s -boat for some reason disappeared. The Professor -was somewhat perplexed when he missed it, but he -concluded that the safest plan would be to steer -about upon the course he had hitherto held, and -then to communicate with the boats if they should -be within sight in the morning.</p> - -<p>The wind increased in force about midnight, and -the raft rolled and pitched in such a manner that -the Professor’s faith in it really lost some of its -force. Several times huge waves swept over it, -drenching the Professor and his daughter, and filling -them with grave apprehensions of the result if -the storm should become more violent.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">12</span> -Even amid the peril, however, Professor Baffin -could not but admire the heroic courage and composure -of Matilda, who sat upon her trunk, wet -and shivering with cold, without showing a sign of -fear, but trying to encourage her father with words -of hope and cheer.</p> - -<p>When the dawn came, dim and gray, the gale -abated its force, and although the sea continued -rough, the raft rode the waves more buoyantly and -easily. Producing some matches from his waterproof -box, the Professor lighted the kerosene-lamp -in the tiny stove which was in one of the boxes; -and then Matilda, with water from the barrel, began -to try to make some coffee. The attempt -seemed to promise to be successful, and while the -process was going on, the Professor looked about -for the boats. They could not be seen. The Professor -took out his glass and swept the horizon. -In vain; the boats had disappeared completely; -but the Professor saw something else that attracted -his attention, and made his heart for a moment -stop beating.</p> - -<p>Right ahead, not distinctly outlined, but visible in -a misty sort of way, he thought he discerned -land!</p> - -<p>At first he could not believe the evidence of his -sight. The captain, an expert navigator, had assured -him that they were eight hundred miles from -any shore. But this certainly looked to the Professor<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">13</span> -very much like land. He examined it through -his glass. Even then the view was not clear enough -to remove all doubts, but it strengthened his conviction; -and when Matilda looked she said she -knew it was land. She could trace the outline of a -range of hills.</p> - -<p>“Tilly,” said the Professor, “we are saved! It <em>is</em> -the land, and the raft is drifting us directly towards -it. We cannot be sufficiently thankful, my child, -for this great mercy! Who would have expected -it? Taken altogether, it is the most extraordinary -circumstance within my recollection.”</p> - -<p>“Captain Duffer must have made a miscalculation,” -said Tilly. “The ship must have been off -of her course when she sprang a leak.”</p> - -<p>“It is incomprehensible how so old a sailor could -have made such a blunder,” replied the Professor. -“But there the land is; I can see it now distinctly. -It looks to me like a very large island.”</p> - -<p>“Are you going ashore at once, pa?”</p> - -<p>“Certainly, dear; that is, if we can make a landing -through the breakers.”</p> - -<p>“Suppose there are cannibals on it, pa? It would -be horrid to have them eat us!”</p> - -<p>“They would have to fatten us first, darling; -and that would give us an opportunity to study -their habits. It would be extremely interesting!”</p> - -<p>“But the study would be of no use if they should -eat us!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">14</span> -“All knowledge is useful, Tilly; I could write -out the results of our observations, and probably -set them adrift in a bottle!”</p> - -<p>“It is such a dreadful death!”</p> - -<p>“Try to look at it philosophically! There is -really nothing more unpleasant about the idea of -being digested than there is about the thought of -being buried.”</p> - -<p>“O, pa!”</p> - -<p>“No, my child! It is merely a sentiment. If I -shall be eaten, and we have volition after death, I -am determined to know how I agreed with the man -who had me for dinner! Tilly, I have a notion -that you would eat tender!”</p> - -<p>“Pa, you are simply awful!”</p> - -<p>“To me, indeed, there is something inspiring in -the thought that my physical substance, when I -have done with it, should nourish the vitality of -another being. I don’t like to think that I may be -wasted.”</p> - -<p>“You seem as if you rather hoped we should find -savage cannibals upon the island!”</p> - -<p>“No, Tilly; I hope we shall not. I believe we -shall not. Man-eaters are rarely found in this latitude. -My impression is that the island is not inhabited -at all. Probably it is of recent volcanic -origin. If so, we may have a chance to examine -a newly-formed crater. I have longed to do so for -years.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">15</span> -“We might as well be eaten as to be blown up -and burned up by a volcano,” said Matilda.</p> - -<p>“It would be a grand thing, though, to be permitted -to observe, without interruption, the operation -of one of the mightiest forces of nature! I could -make a magnificent report to the Philosophical Society -about it; that is, if we should ever get home -again.”</p> - -<p>“For my part,” said Matilda, “I hope it contains -neither cannibals nor volcanoes; I hope it is simply -a charming island without a man or a beast -upon it.”</p> - -<p>“Something like Robinson Crusoe’s, for example! -I have often thought I should like to undergo his -experiences. It must be, to an inquiring mind, -exceedingly instructive to observe in what manner -a civilized man, thrown absolutely upon his own -resources, contrives to conduct his existence. I -could probably enrich my lecture upon Sociology -if we should be compelled to remain upon the -island for a year or two.”</p> - -<p>“But we should starve to death in that time!”</p> - -<p>“So we should; unless, indeed, the island produces -fruits of some kind from its soil. I think it -does. It seems to be covered with trees, Tilly, -doesn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” said Matilda, looking through the glass. -“It is a mass of verdure. It is perfectly beautiful. I -believe I see something that looks like a building, too.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">16</span> -“Impossible! you see a peculiar rock formation, -no doubt; I shan’t be surprised if there is enough -in the geological formation of the island to engage -my attention so long as we remain.”</p> - -<p>“But what am I to do, meantime?”</p> - -<p>“You? Oh, you can label my specimens and -keep the journal; and maybe you might hunt -around for fossils a little yourself.”</p> - -<p>The raft rapidly moved toward the shore, and -the eyes of both of the voyagers were turned toward -it inquiringly and eagerly. Who could tell -how long the island might be their home, and what -strange adventures might befall them there?</p> - -<p>“The wind is blowing right on shore, Tilly,” -said the Professor. “I will steer straight ahead, -and I shouldn’t wonder if we could shoot the -breakers safely. Isn’t that a sand-beach right in -front there?” inquired the Professor, elevating his -nose a little, to get his spectacles in focus. “It -looks like one.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, it is,” replied Matilda, looking through her -glass.</p> - -<p>“First-rate! Couldn’t have been better. There, -we will drive right in. Tilly, hoist my umbrella, so -as to give her more sail!”</p> - -<p>The raft fairly danced across the waves under -the increased pressure, and in a moment or two it -was rolling in the swell just outside of the line of -white breakers. Before the Professor had time to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">17</span> -think what he should do to avoid the shock, a huge -wave uplifted the raft and ran it high upon the -beach with such violence as to compel the Professor -to turn a somersault over a trunk. He recovered -himself at once, and replacing his spectacles -he proceeded, with the assistance of Matilda, to -pull the raft up beyond the reach of the waves.</p> - -<p>Then, wet and draggled, with sand on his coat, -and his hat knocked completely out of shape, he -stood rubbing his chin with his hand, and thoughtfully -observing the breakers.</p> - -<p>“Extraordinary force, Tilly, that of the ocean -surf,—clear waste, too, apparently. If we stay here -long enough, I must try to find out the secret of its -motion.”</p> - -<p>“Hadn’t we better put on some dry clothing -first?” suggested Miss Baffin, “and examine the -surf afterwards? For my part I have had enough -of it.”</p> - -<p>“Certainly! Have you the keys of the trunks? -Everything soaking wet, most likely.”</p> - -<p>When the trunks were unfastened, the Professor -was delighted to find that the contents were perfectly -dry. Selecting some clothing for himself, he -went behind a huge rock and proceeded to dress. -Matilda, after looking carefully about, retreated to -a group of trees, and beneath their shelter made -her toilette.</p> - -<p>“Isn’t this a magnificent place?” said the Professor,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">18</span> -when Matilda, nicely dressed, came out to -where he was standing by the raft.</p> - -<p>“Perfectly lovely.”</p> - -<p>“Noble trees, rich grass, millions of wild flowers, -birds twittering above us, a matchless sky, a bracing -air, and—why, halloa! there’s a stream of -running water! We must have a drink of that, -the very first thing. Delicious, isn’t it?” asked -the Professor, when Miss Baffin, after drinking, -returned the cup to him.</p> - -<p>“It is nectar.”</p> - -<p>“I tell you what, Tilly, I am not sure that it -wouldn’t be a good thing to be compelled to live -here for two or three years. The vegetation shows -that we are in a temperate latitude, and I know I can -find or raise enough to eat in such a place as this.”</p> - -<p>“Why, pa, look there!”</p> - -<p>“Where?”</p> - -<p>“Over there. Don’t you see that castle?”</p> - -<p>“Castle? No! What! Why, yes, it is! Bless -my soul, Tilly, the place is inhabited!”</p> - -<p>“Who would have thought of finding a building -like that on an island in mid-ocean?”</p> - -<p>“It is the most extraordinary circumstance, -taking it altogether, that ever came under my observation,” -said the Professor, looking towards the -distant edifice. “So far as I can make out, it is a -castle of an early period.”</p> - -<p>“Mediæval?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">19</span> -“Well, not later than the seventh or eighth century, -at the farthest. Tilly, I feel as if something -remarkable was going to happen.”</p> - -<p>“Pa, you frighten me!”</p> - -<p>“No, I mean something that will be extraordinarily -interesting. I know it. The voice of instinct -tells me so. Have you your journal with you?”</p> - -<p>“It is in the trunk.”</p> - -<p>“Get it and your lead-pencils. We will drag the -baggage further up from the water, and then we -will push towards the castle. I am going to know -the date of that structure before I sleep to-night.”</p> - -<p>“There can hardly be any danger, I suppose?” -suggested Miss Baffin, rather timidly.</p> - -<p>“Oh, no, of course not; I have my revolver with -me. Let me see; where is it? Ah, here. And -the cartridges are waterproof. I think I will put a -few things in a valise, also. We might find the -castle empty, and have to depend upon ourselves -for supper.”</p> - -<p>The Professor then let the air out of the raft, -and folded the flattened cylinders together.</p> - -<p>When the valise was ready, the Professor -grasped it, shouldered his umbrella, and said, -“Now, come, darling, and we will find out what all -this means.”</p> - -<p>The pair started along a broad path which ran -by the side of the stream, following the course of -the brook, and winding in and out among trees of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">20</span> -huge girth and gigantic height. Birds of familiar -species flitted from branch to branch before them, -as if to lead them on their way; now and then a -brown rabbit, after eyeing them for a moment with -quivering nostrils, beat a quick tattoo upon the -ground with his hind legs, then threw up his tail -and whisked into the shrubbery. Gray squirrels -scrambled around the trunks of the trees to look -at them, and now and then a screaming, blue-crested -kingfisher ceased his complaining while he -plunged into one of the pools of the rivulet, and -emerged with a trout in his talons.</p> - -<p>It was an enchanting scene; and Miss Baffin -enjoyed it thoroughly as she stepped blithely by -the side of her father, who seemed to find especial -pleasure in discovering that the herbage, the trees, -the rocks, and all the other natural objects, were -precisely like those with which he had been familiar -at home.</p> - -<p>After following the path for some time, the pair -came to a place where the brook widened into a -great pool, through which the water went sluggishly, -bearing upon its surface bubbles and froth, -which told how it had been tossed and broken by -rapid descents over the rocks in some narrow -channel above. Here the Professor stopped to observe -an uncommonly large and green bullfrog, -which sat upon a slimy stone a few yards away, -looking solemnly at him.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">21</span> -During the pause, they were startled to hear a -voice saying to <span class="locked">them,—</span></p> - -<p>“Good morrow, gentle friends.”</p> - -<p>Matilda uttered a partly-suppressed scream, and -even the Professor jumped backward a foot or two, -in astonishment.</p> - -<p>Looking toward the place from which the voice -came, they saw an old man with gray hair and -beard lifting a large stone pitcher, which he had -been filling from the pool. He was dressed in a -long and rather loose robe, which reached from -his shoulders to his feet, and which was gathered -about his waist with a knotted cord. This was -his entire costume, for his feet were bare, and he -wore no hat to hide the rich masses of hair which -fell to his shoulders. As he offered his salutation, -he raised his pitcher until he stood upright, and -then he looked at the Professor and Miss Baffin -with a pleasant smile, in which there were traces -of curiosity.</p> - -<p>“Good afternoon,” returned the Professor, after -a moment’s hesitation; “how are you?”</p> - -<p>“Are you not strangers in this land?” asked the -old man.</p> - -<p>“Well, yes,” said the Professor, briskly, with a -manifest purpose to be sociable; “we have just -come ashore down here on the beach. Shipwrecked, -in fact. This is my daughter. Let me -introduce you. My child, allow me to make you<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">22</span> -acquainted with—with—beg pardon, but I think -you did not mention your name.”</p> - -<p>“I am known as Father Anselm.”</p> - -<p>“Ah, indeed! Matilda, this is Father Anselm. -A clergyman, I suppose?”</p> - -<p>“I am a hermit; my cell is close at hand. You -will be welcome there if you will visit it.”</p> - -<p>“A hermit! Living in a cell! Well, this <em>is</em> -surprising! We shall be only too happy to visit -you, if you will permit us. Delightful, isn’t it, -dear? We will obtain some valuable information -from the old gentleman.”</p> - -<p>The Hermit, with the pitcher poised upon his -shoulder, led the way, and he was closely followed -by the Professor and by Matilda, who regarded -the proceeding rather with nervous apprehension. -The Hermit’s cell was a huge cave, excavated from -the side of a hill. The floor was covered with -sprigs of fragrant evergreens. A small table stood -upon one side of the apartment; beside it was a -rough bench, which was the only seat in the room. -A crucifix, a candle, a skull, an hour-glass, and a -few simple utensils were the only other articles to -be seen.</p> - -<p>The Hermit brought forward the bench for his -visitors to sit upon, and then, procuring a cup, he -offered each a drink of water.</p> - -<p>The Professor, hugging one knee with interlocked -fingers, seemed anxious to open a conversation.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">23</span> -“Pardon me, sir, but do I understand that you -are a clergyman; that is to say, some sort of a -teacher of religion?”</p> - -<p>“I belong to a religious order. I am a recluse.”</p> - -<p>“Roman Catholic, I presume?” said the Professor, -glancing at the crucifix.</p> - -<p>“Your meaning is not wholly clear to me,” replied -the Hermit.</p> - -<p>“What are your views? Do you lean to Calvinism, -or do you think the Arminians, upon the -whole, have the best of the argument?”</p> - -<p>“The gentleman does not understand you, pa,” -said Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“Never mind, then; we will not press it. But -I should like very much if you would tell us something -about this place; this country around here,” -said the Professor, waving his hand towards the -door.</p> - -<p>“Let me ask first of the misadventure which -cast you unwillingly upon our shores?” said the -Hermit.</p> - -<p>“Well, you see, I sailed from New York on the -twenty-third of last month, with my daughter here, -to fulfil an engagement to deliver a course of lectures -in England.”</p> - -<p>“In England!” exclaimed the Hermit, with an -appearance of eager interest.</p> - -<p>“Yes, in England. I am a professor, you know, -in an American university. When we were about<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">24</span> -half way across, the ship sprang a leak, from some -cause now unknown. My daughter and I got off -with our baggage upon a life-raft, which I most -fortunately had with me. The rest of the passengers -and the crew escaped in the boats. I became -separated from them, and drifted here. That -is the whole story.”</p> - -<p>“I comprehend only a part of what you say,” -replied the Hermit. “But it is enough that you -have suffered; I give you hearty welcome.”</p> - -<p>“Thank you. And now tell me where I am.”</p> - -<p>“You spoke of England a moment ago,” said -the Hermit. “Let me begin with it. Hundreds -of years ago, in the time of King Arthur, of noble -fame, it happened, by some means even yet not revealed -to us, that a vast portion of that island -separated from the rest, and drifted far out upon -the ocean. It carried with it hundreds of people—noble, -and gentle, and humble. This is that -country.”</p> - -<p>“In-<em>deed</em>!” exclaimed the Professor. “This? -This island that we are on? Amazing!”</p> - -<p>“It is true,” responded the Hermit.</p> - -<p>“Why, Tilly, do you hear that? This is the lost -Atlantis! We have been driven ashore on the far-famed -Fortunate Island! Wonderful, isn’t it? -Taking every thing into consideration, I must say -this certainly is the most extraordinary circumstance -I ever encountered!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">25</span> -“Nobody among us has ever heard anything -from England or of it, excepting through tradition. -No ship comes to our shores, and those of us who -have builded boats and gone away in search of -adventure have never come back. Sometimes I -think the island has not ended its wanderings, but -is still floating about; but we cannot tell.”</p> - -<p>“But, my dear sir,” said the Professor, “you can -take your latitude and longitude at any time, can’t -you?”</p> - -<p>“Take what?”</p> - -<p>“Your latitude and longitude! Find out exactly -in what part of the world you are?”</p> - -<p>“I never heard that such a thing was done. -None of our people have that kind of learning.”</p> - -<p>“Well, but you have schools and colleges, and -you acquire knowledge, don’t you?”</p> - -<p>“We have a few schools; but only the low-born -children attend them, and they are taught only -what their fathers learned. We do not try to know -more. We reverence the past. It is a matter of -pride among us to preserve the habits, the manners, -the ideas, the social state which our fore-fathers -had when they were sundered from their -nation.”</p> - -<p>“You live here pretty much as King Arthur and -his subjects lived?”</p> - -<p>“Yes. We have our chivalry; our knight errants; -our tournaments; our castles—everything -just as it was in the old time.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">26</span> -“My dear,” said the Professor to Miss Baffin, -“the wildest imagination could have conceived -nothing like this. We shall be afforded an opportunity -to study the middle ages on the spot.”</p> - -<p>“Sometimes,” said the Hermit, gravely, “I have -secret doubts whether our way is the best, -whether in England and the rest of the world -men may not have learned while we have remained -ignorant; but I cannot tell. And no one would be -willing to change if we could know the truth.”</p> - -<p>“My friend,” said the Professor, with a look of -compassion, “the world has gone far, far ahead of -King Arthur’s time! It has almost forgotten that -there ever was such a time. You would hardly believe -me, at any rate you would not understand me, -if I should tell you of the present state of things in -the world. But if I stay here I will try to enlighten -you gradually. I feel as if I had been sent -here as a missionary for that very purpose.”</p> - -<p>“Do you come from England?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, no! I was going thither. I came from -the United States. You never heard of them, of -course. They are a land right across the ocean -from England, about three thousand miles.”</p> - -<p>“Discovered by a man named Columbus,” said -Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“Your dress is an odd one,” continued the Hermit. -“Are you a fighting man?”</p> - -<p>“A fighting man! Oh, no, of course not. I’m -a Professor.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">27</span> -“Then this is not a weapon that you carry.”</p> - -<p>“Bless my soul, my dear sir! Why, this is an -umbrella! Tilly, we have to deal with a very -primitive condition of things here. It is both entertaining -and instructive.”</p> - -<p>“What is it for?”</p> - -<p>“I will show you. Suppose it begins to rain, I -untie this string and open the umbrella, <em>so</em>! Now -don’t be alarmed! It is perfectly harmless, I -assure you!”</p> - -<p>The holy man had retreated suddenly into the -furthest recess of the cell.</p> - -<p>“While it rains I hold it in this manner. When -it clears, I shut it up, <em>thus</em>, and put it under my -arm.”</p> - -<p>“Wonderful! wonderful!” exclaimed the Hermit. -“I thought it was an implement of war. The -world beyond us evidently has surpassed us.”</p> - -<p>“This is nothing to the things I will show you,” -said the Professor. “I see you have an hour-glass -here. Is this the only way you have of recording -time?”</p> - -<p>“We have the sun.”</p> - -<p>“No clocks or watches?”</p> - -<p>“I do not know what they are.”</p> - -<p>“Tilly, show him your watch. This is the machine -with which we tell time.”</p> - -<p>“Alive, is it?” asked the Hermit.</p> - -<p>The Professor explained the mechanism to him -in detail.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">28</span> -“You are indeed a learned man,” said the recluse. -“But I have forgotten a part of my duty. -Will you not take some food?”</p> - -<p>“Well,” said the Professor, “if you have anything -about in the form of a lunch, I think I could -dispose of it.”</p> - -<p>“I am awfully hungry,” said Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>The Hermit produced a piece of meat, and hanging -it upon a turnspit he gathered a few sticks and -placed them beneath it. The Professor watched -him closely; and when the holy man took in his -hands a flint and steel with which to ignite the -wood, the Professor <span class="locked">exclaimed,—</span></p> - -<p>“One moment! Let me start that fire for -you?”</p> - -<p>Taking from his pocket an old newspaper, he -put it beneath the sticks; then from his match-box -he took a match, and striking it there was a blaze -in a moment.</p> - -<p>The Hermit crossed himself and muttered a -prayer at this performance.</p> - -<p>“No cause for alarm, I assure you,” said the -Professor.</p> - -<p>“You must be a wizard,” said the Hermit.</p> - -<p>“No; I did that with what we call a match; like -this one. There is stuff on the end which catches -fire when you rub it,” and the Professor again -ignited a match.</p> - -<p>“I never could have dreamed that such a thing<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">29</span> -could be,” exclaimed the recluse. “You will be -regarded by our people as the most marvellous -magician that ever lived.”</p> - -<p>The Professor laughed.</p> - -<p>“Oh,” said he, “I will let them know it is not -magic. We must clear all that nonsense away. -Tilly, I feel that duty points me clearly to the task -of delivering a course of lectures upon this island.”</p> - -<p>During the repast, the Hermit, looking timidly -at Professor Baffin, <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Would it seem discourteous if I should ask you -another question?”</p> - -<p>“Certainly not. I shall be glad to give you any -information you may want.”</p> - -<p>“What, then,” inquired the Hermit, “is the -reason why you protect your eyes with glass windows?”</p> - -<p>“These,” said the Professor, removing his spectacles, -“are intended to improve the sight. I -cannot see well without them. With them I have -perfect vision. Tilly, make a memorandum in the -journal that my first lecture shall be upon Optics.”</p> - -<p>“Pa, I wish we could learn something about the -castle we saw,” observed Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes; by the way, Father Anselm,” said the -Professor, “we observed an old-fashioned castle -over yonder, as we came here. Can you tell me -anything about it?”</p> - -<p>“The castle,” replied the Hermit, “is the home<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">30</span> -and the stronghold of Sir Bors, Baron of Lonazep. -He is a great and powerful noble, much feared in -this country.”</p> - -<p>“Any family?” inquired the Professor.</p> - -<p>“He has a gallant son, Sir Dinadan, as brave a -knight as ever levelled lance, and a beautiful -daughter, Ysolt. Both are unmarried; but the fair -Ysolt fondly loves Sir Bleoberis, to whom, however, -the Baron will not suffer her to be wedded, -because Sir Bleoberis, though bold and skilful, has -little wealth.”</p> - -<p>“Human nature, you observe, my child, is the -same everywhere. We have heard of something -like this at home,” remarked the Professor to his -daughter.</p> - -<p>“Ysolt is loved also by another knight, Sir Dagonet. -He has great riches, and is very powerful; -but he is a bad and dangerous man, and the Baron -will not consent to give him Ysolt to wife. These -matters cause much strife and much unhappiness.”</p> - -<p>“It’s the same way with us,” observed the Professor; -“I have known lots of such cases.”</p> - -<p>“I hope we shall stay here long enough to see -how it all turns out,” said Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“Of course,” replied the Professor. “You hated -the island when you thought it might promote the -interests of science. But some lovers’ nonsense -would keep you here willingly for life. Just like a -woman.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">31</span> -“The King,” said the Hermit, “has espoused -the cause of Sir Bleoberis, and we hope he may -win the lady for the knight whom she loves.”</p> - -<p>“The King, eh? Then you have a monarchical -government?”</p> - -<p>“We have eleven kings upon this island.”</p> - -<p>“All reigning?”</p> - -<p>“Yes.”</p> - -<p>“How many people are there in the whole -island?”</p> - -<p>“No one knows, exactly. One hundred thousand, -possibly.”</p> - -<p>“Not ten thousand men apiece for the kings! -Humph! In my country we have a million men -in one town, and nobody but a common man to -rule them.”</p> - -<p>“Incredible!”</p> - -<p>“And what is the name of your particular king,—the -one who is lord of this part of the country?”</p> - -<p>“King Brandegore; a wise, and good, and valiant -monarch.”</p> - -<p>“Tilly,” said the Professor, “you might as well -jot that down. Eleven kings on the island, and -King Brandegore running this part of the government. -I must get acquainted with him.”</p> - -<p>When the meal was finished the Professor said -to the <span class="locked">recluse,—</span></p> - -<p>“Do you allow smoking?”</p> - -<p>“Smoking!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">32</span> -“Pray excuse me! I forgot. If you will permit -me, I will introduce you to another of the practices -of modern civilization.”</p> - -<p>Then the Professor lighted a cigar, and, sitting -on the bench in a comfortable position, with his -back against the wall of the cave, he began to puff -out whiffs of smoke.</p> - -<p>The Hermit, with a look of alarm, was about to -ask for an explanation of the performance, when -loud cries were heard outside of the cave mingled -with frightened exclamations from a woman.</p> - -<p>The occupants of the cavern started to their feet, -just as a beautiful girl, dressed in a quaint but -charming costume, ran into the doorway in such -haste that she dashed plump up against the Professor, -who caught her in his arms.</p> - -<p>For a moment she was startled at seeing two -strangers in a place where she had thought to encounter -none but the Hermit; but her dread of her -pursuer overcame her diffidence, and, clinging to -the Professor, she <span class="locked">exclaimed,—</span></p> - -<p>“Oh, save me! save me!”</p> - -<p>“Certainly I will,” said the Professor, soothingly, -as his arm tightened its clasp about her waist. -“What’s the matter? Don’t be afraid, my child. -Who is pursuing you?”</p> - -<p>The Professor was not displeased at the situation -in which he found himself. The damsel was fair -to see, and the head which rested, in what seemed<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">33</span> -to him sweet confidence, upon his shoulder, was -crowned with golden hair of matchless beauty. -Even amid the intense excitement of the moment -the reflection flashed through the Professor’s mind -that he was a widower, and that Matilda had -always expressed a willingness to try to love a -stepmother.</p> - -<p>“My father! The Baron! He threatens to -kill me,” sobbed the maiden, and then, tearing herself -away from the Professor in a manner which -struck him as being, to say the least, inconsiderate, -she flew to Father Anselm and said, “You, holy -father, will save me.”</p> - -<p>“I will try, my daughter; I will try,” replied the -Hermit. And then, turning to the Professor he -said, “It is Ysolt.”</p> - -<p>“Ah!” said the Professor, “the Baron’s daughter. -May I ask you, miss, what the old gentleman -is so excited about? It is not one of the customs -here for indignant parents to chase their children -around the country, is it?”</p> - -<p>“I had gone from the castle,” said the damsel, -partly to the Hermit and partly to Professor Baffin, -“to meet Sir Bleoberis at the trysting-place. -My father was watching me, and as I neared the -spot he rushed toward me with a drawn sword, -threatening to kill me.”</p> - -<p>“It is an outrageous shame!” exclaimed the -Professor, sympathetically.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">34</span> -“I eluded him,” continued the sobbing girl, “and -flew towards this place. When he saw me at last -he gave chase. I am afraid he will slay me when -he comes.”</p> - -<p>“I think, perhaps, I may be able to reason with -this person when he arrives,” said the Professor, -rubbing his chin and looking at the hermit over the -top of his spectacles. “The Baron ought to be -ashamed of himself to go on in this manner! Tilly, -wipe the poor creature’s eyes with your handkerchief. -There now, dear, cheer up.”</p> - -<p>Just then the Baron rushed into the cell, with -his eyes flaming, and his breath coming short and -fast.</p> - -<p>He was a large man, with a handsome face, thick -covered with beard. He was dressed in doublet, -trunks and hose, and over one shoulder a mantle -hung gracefully. His sword was in its sheath, and -it was manifest that he had repented of his murderous -purpose.</p> - -<p>“Where is that faithless girl?” he demanded in -a voice of thunder.</p> - -<p>Ysolt had hidden behind Matilda Baffin.</p> - -<p>“Say, priest, where have you secreted her?”</p> - -<p>“One moment!” said the Professor, stepping -forward. “May I, without appearing impertinent, -offer a suggestion?”</p> - -<p>“Out, varlet!” exclaimed the Baron, pushing -him aside. “Tell me, Hermit, where is Ysolt?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">35</span> -The Professor was actually pale with indignation. -Pushing himself in front of the Baron, and -brandishing his umbrella in a determined way he -said:</p> - -<p>“Old man, I want you to understand that you -have to deal with a free and independent American -citizen! What do you mean by ‘varlet?’ I hurl -the opprobrious word back into your teeth, sir! I -am not going to put up with such conduct, I’d like -you to know!”</p> - -<p>The Baron for the first time perceived what -manner of man the Professor was, and he paused -for a moment amid his rage to eye the stranger -with astonishment.</p> - -<p>“Why do you want to hurt the young woman? -Is this any way for an affectionate father to behave -to his own offspring? Allow me to say, sir, that -I’ll be hanged if I think it is! If you don’t want -her to marry Sir What’s-his-name, don’t let her; -but it strikes me that charging around the country -after her, and threatening to kill her, is an evidence -that you don’t understand the first principles of -domestic discipline!”</p> - -<p>“What do you mean? Who are you? What -are you doing here?” demanded the Baron, fiercely, -recovering his self-possession.</p> - -<p>“I am Professor E. L. Baffin, of Wingohocking -University; and I mean to try to persuade you to -treat your daughter more gently,” said the Professor,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">36</span> -cooling as he remembered that the Baron had -a father’s authority.</p> - -<p>“You have a weapon. I will fight you,” said the -Baron, drawing his sword.</p> - -<p>The Professor put his cigar in his mouth, and -opened his umbrella suddenly in the Baron’s -face.</p> - -<p>The Baron retreated a distance of twenty feet -and looked scared.</p> - -<p>“Come,” said the Professor, closing his umbrella -and smiling, “I am not a fighting man. We will -not quarrel. Let us talk the matter over calmly.”</p> - -<p>But the Baron, mortified because of the alarm -that he had manifested, rushed savagely at the -Professor, and would have felled him to the earth -had not Matilda sprung forward and placed herself, -shrieking, between the Baron and her father.</p> - -<p>At this precise juncture, also, a young man -entered the cell, and, seeing the Baron apparently -about to strike a woman, seized his sword-arm and -held it. The Baron turned sharply about. Recognizing -the youth as his son, he simply looked at -him angrily, and then, while Miss Baffin clung to -the Professor, the Baron seized Ysolt by the arm -and led her weeping away.</p> - -<p>The Professor, after freeing himself from Miss -Baffin’s embrace, extended his hand to the youth, -and <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“I have not the honor of knowing you, sir, but<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">37</span> -you have behaved handsomely. Permit me to inquire -your name?”</p> - -<p>“Sir Dinadan; the son of the Baron,” said the -youth, taking hold of the Professor’s hand, as if he -were somewhat uncertain what he had better do -with it.</p> - -<p>“No last name?” asked the Professor.</p> - -<p>“That is all. And you are?—”</p> - -<p>“I am Everett L. Baffin, a Professor in the -Wingohocking University. I was cast ashore -down here with my daughter. Tilly, let me introduce -to you Sir Dinadan.”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan colored, and dropping upon his -knee he seized Miss Baffin’s hand and kissed it. -Rising, he said:</p> - -<p>“What, Sir Baffin, is the name of the sweet -lady?”</p> - -<p>“Matilda.”</p> - -<p>“How lovely!” exclaimed Sir Dinadan.</p> - -<p>“It is abbreviated sometimes to Tilly, by her -friends.”</p> - -<p>“It is too beautiful,” said the youth, gazing at -Miss Baffin with unconcealed admiration. “I -trust, Sir Baffin, I may be able to serve in some -manner you and the Lady Tilly.”</p> - -<p>“Professor Baffin, my dear sir; not Sir Baffin. -Permit me to offer you my card.”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan took the card, and seemed perplexed -as to its meaning. He turned it over and -over in a despairing sort of way in his fingers.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">38</span> -“If you will read it,” said the Professor, “you -will find my name upon it.”</p> - -<p>“But, Sir Baffin, I cannot read.”</p> - -<p>“Can’t read!” exclaimed the Professor, in -amazement. “You don’t mean to say that you -have never learned to read!”</p> - -<p>“High-born people,” replied Sir Dinadan, with -an air of indifference, “care nothing for learning. -We leave that to the monks.”</p> - -<p>“This,” said the Professor to Miss Baffin, “is -one of the most extraordinary circumstances that -has yet come under my observation. Tilly, mention -in your journal that the members of the upper -classes are wholly illiterate.”</p> - -<p>“As the Lady Tilly is a stranger here,” said Sir -Dinadan, “I would be glad to have her walk with -me to the brow of the hill. I will show her our -beautiful park.”</p> - -<p>“That would be splendid!” said Miss Baffin. -“May I go, pa?”</p> - -<p>“Well, I don’t know,” said the Professor, with -hesitation, and looking inquiringly at the Hermit. -As that individual appeared to regard the proposition -with no such feeling of alarm as would indicate -a breach of ordinary social custom, the Professor -continued, “Yes, dear, but be sure not to go -beyond ear-shot.”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan, smiling, led Miss Baffin away, and -the Professor sat down to finish his cigar and to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">39</span> -have some further conversation with the Hermit. -Before he had time to begin, two other visitors arrived. -Both were young men, gaily dressed in -rich costume. One of them, whom the recluse -greeted as Sir Bleoberis, had a tall slender figure -and an exceedingly handsome countenance, which -was adorned with a moustache and pointed beard. -His companion, Sir Agravaine, was smaller, less -comely, and if his face was an index of his mind, by -no means so intelligent.</p> - -<p>After being presented to the Professor, whom -they regarded with not a little curiosity, Sir Bleoberis -said:</p> - -<p>“Holy father, the fair Ysolt was here and was -taken away by the Baron, was she not?”</p> - -<p>“Yes!”</p> - -<p>“Alas!” said the Knight, “I see no hope. -Whilst I am poor, the Baron will never relent.”</p> - -<p>“Never!” chimed in Sir Agravaine.</p> - -<p>“Is your poverty the only objection he has to -you?” asked the Professor.</p> - -<p>“Yes.”</p> - -<p>“Well,” replied the Professor, “I can understand -a father’s feelings in such a case. It seems hard -upon a young man, but naturally he wants his -daughter to be comfortable. Is there nothing you -can turn your hand to to improve your fortunes?”</p> - -<p>“We might rob somebody,” said Sir Agravaine, -with a reflective air.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">40</span> -“Rob somebody!” exclaimed the Professor, -“That is simply atrocious! Can’t you go to work; -go into business, start a factory, speculate in -stocks, or something of that kind?”</p> - -<p>“Persons of my degree never work,” said Sir -Bleoberis.</p> - -<p>The Professor sighed, “Ah! I forgot. We must -think of something else. Let me see; young man, -I think I can help you a little, perhaps. You agree -to accept some information from me and I believe -I can make your fortune.”</p> - -<p>“Do you propose,” asked Sir Agravaine, “to drug -the Baron, or to enchant him so that he will change -his mind? I have often tried love-philters with ladies -whose hands I sought, but they always failed.”</p> - -<p>“Nonsense!” exclaimed the Professor. “I don’t -operate with such trumpery as that. You agree to -help me, and we’ll give this island such a stirring -up as will revolutionize it.”</p> - -<p>The Professor then proceeded to explain in detail -the nature and operation of some of the scientific -apparatus which he had with him in his trunk; -and the Knight and the Hermit listened with -open-eyed amazement while he told them of the -telegraph, the telephone, the phonograph, the photograph, -and other modern inventions.</p> - -<p>Whilst the Professor waxed eloquent, Sir Dinadan -and Miss Baffin strolled slowly back towards -the cave.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">41</span> -Sir Dinadan had improved the opportunity to -offer Miss Baffin his hand, rather abruptly.</p> - -<p>“But you can try to love me,” he pleaded, as -she, with much embarrassment but with gentleness, -resisted his importunity.</p> - -<p>“I can try, Sir Dinadan,” she said, blushing, -“but really I have known you only a few moments. -It is impossible for me now to have any affection -for you.”</p> - -<p>“Will to-morrow be time enough?”</p> - -<p>“No, no! I must have a much longer time than -that.”</p> - -<p>“I will fight for you. We will get up a tournament -and you will see how I can unhorse the -bravest knights. If I knock over ten, will that -make any difference in your feelings?”</p> - -<p>“Not the slightest!”</p> - -<p>“Fifteen?”</p> - -<p>“You do not understand. It is not the custom -in our country to press a suit upon a lady by poking -people off of a horse.”</p> - -<p>“Perhaps I ought to fight your father? Will -Sir Baffin break a lance with me to decide if I shall -have you?”</p> - -<p>“My father does not fight.”</p> - -<p>“Does not fight! Certainly you don’t mean -that?”</p> - -<p>“He is the Vice-President of the Universal -Peace Society.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">42</span> -“The WHAT?” asked Sir Dinadan, in amazement.</p> - -<p>“Of the Peace Society; a society which opposes -fighting of every kind, under any circumstances.”</p> - -<p>It was a moment or two before Sir Dinadan -could get his breath. Then he <span class="locked">said—</span></p> - -<p>“But—but then, Lady Tilly, what—what do -men in your country do with themselves?”</p> - -<p>Miss Baffin laughed and endeavored to explain -to him the modern methods of existence.</p> - -<p>“I never could have believed such a thing from -other lips,” said Sir Dinadan. “It is marvellous. -But tell me, how do lovers woo in your land?”</p> - -<p>“Really, Sir Dinadan,” replied Miss Baffin, -blushing, “I have had no experience worth speaking -of in such matters. I suppose, perhaps, they -show a lady that they love her, and then wait until -she can make up her mind.”</p> - -<p>“I will wait, then, as long as you wish.”</p> - -<p>“But,” said Miss Baffin, shyly, although plainly -she was beginning to feel a genuine interest in -the proceeding, “your father and your mother may -not think as you do; and then, I shall not want to -stay upon this island if I can get away.”</p> - -<p>“My mother always consents to anything I -wish, and the Baron never dares to oppose what -she wants. And if you go back to your own country, -I will go with you, whether you accept me or -not.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">43</span> -Miss Baffin smiled. Sir Dinadan was in earnest, -at any rate. She could not help thinking of the -sensation that would be created in Wingohocking -if she should walk up the fashionable street of the -town some afternoon with Sir Dinadan in his parti-colored -dress of doublet and stockings, and jaunty -feathered cap, and sword, while his long yellow -hair dangled about his shoulders.</p> - -<p>While Sir Dinadan was protesting that he should -love her for ever and for ever, they came back -again to the Hermit’s cell, and then Sir Dinadan, -greeting Sir Bleoberis and Sir Agravaine, presented -Miss Baffin to them.</p> - -<p>Sir Bleoberis was courteous but somewhat indifferent; -Sir Agravaine, upon the contrary, appeared -to be deeply impressed with Miss Baffin’s -beauty. After gazing at her steadily for a few -moments, he approached her, and while the other -members of the company engaged in conversation, -he <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Fair lady, you are not married?”</p> - -<p>“No, sir,” replied Miss Baffin, with some indignation.</p> - -<p>“Permit me, then, to offer you my hand.”</p> - -<p>“What!” exclaimed Miss Baffin, becoming -angry.</p> - -<p>“I love you. Will you be mine?” said Sir Agravaine, -falling upon one knee and trying to take her -hand.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">44</span> -Miss Baffin boxed his ear with a degree of violence.</p> - -<p>Rising with a rueful countenance, he <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Am I to understand, then, that you decline the -offer?”</p> - -<p>Miss Baffin, without replying, walked away from -him and joined her father.</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan was asking the Hermit for a few -simples with which to relieve the suffering of his -noble mother.</p> - -<p>“I judge, from what you say,” remarked the -Professor, “that the Baroness is afflicted with -lumbago. The Hermit’s remedies, I fear, will -be ineffectual. Permit me to recommend you -to iron her noble back, and to apply a porous -plaster.”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan wished to have the process more -clearly explained. The Professor unfolded the -matter in detail, and <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“I have some plasters in my trunk, down there -upon the beach.”</p> - -<p>“Then you are a leech?” asked Sir Dinadan.</p> - -<p>“Matilda, my child,” remarked the Professor, -“observe that word ‘leech’ used by Sir Dinadan! -How very interesting it is! Not exactly a leech, -Sir Dinadan; but it is my habit to try to know a -little of everything.”</p> - -<p>“Can you cast a lover’s horoscope?” asked Sir -Agravaine, looking at Matilda.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">45</span> -“Young man,” said the Professor, sternly, “there -is no such foolery as a horoscope; and as for love, -you had better let it alone until you have more wit -and a heavier purse.”</p> - -<p>“I wish you and the Lady Tilly to come with me -to the castle,” remarked Sir Dinadan. “My father -will welcome you heartily if you can medicine the -sickness of my mother; and she will be eager to -receive your fair daughter.”</p> - -<p>“I will go, of course,” replied the Professor; -“you are very kind. Tilly, we had better accept, I -think?”</p> - -<p>Miss Baffin was willing to leave the matter -wholly in the hands of her father.</p> - -<p>After requesting Sir Dinadan to have his luggage -brought up from the beach, the Professor -bade adieu to the Hermit, and then turning to Sir -Bleoberis, who stood with a disconsolate air by the -fire, he said:</p> - -<p>“I will see you again about your affair; and -meantime you may depend upon my using my influence -with the Baron to remove his prejudices. -I will dance at your wedding yet; that is, figuratively -speaking, of course; for, as a precise matter -of fact, I do not know how to dance.”</p> - -<p>As the Professor and Sir Dinadan and Miss -Baffin left the cell, Sir Agravaine approached the -lady and whispered:</p> - -<p>“Did I understand you to say you don’t love me?”<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">46</span> -Miss Baffin twitched the skirt of her gown to one -side in a scornful way, and passed on without replying.</p> - -<p>“Women,” sighed Sir Agravaine, as he looked -mournfully after her, “are <em>so</em> incomprehensible. I -wish I knew what she meant.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">47</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER II.<br /> - -<span class="subhead">THE CASTLE OF BARON BORS.</span></h3> -</div> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_047.png" width="66" height="68" alt="A" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword">As</span> Sir Dinadan led the Professor and Miss -Baffin along the lovely path which went -winding through the woods toward the -castle, the Professor lighted another cigar, and -in response to Sir Dinadan, he entered upon an -explanation of the nature of tobacco, the methods -and extent of its use, and its effect upon the human -system.</p> - -<p>“The Lady Tilly, of course she smokes sometimes, -also?” asked Sir Dinadan.</p> - -<p>“Oh, no,” replied Miss Baffin, “ladies in my -country never do.”</p> - -<p>“Of course not,” added the Professor.</p> - -<p>“And yet, if it is so pleasing and so beneficial as -you say,” responded the youth, “why should not -ladies attempt it?”</p> - -<p>The Professor really could not say; Sir Dinadan -was pressing him almost too closely. He compromised -further discussion by yielding promptly, although -with a melancholy reflection that his store<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">48</span> -of cigars was small, to a request to teach Sir Dinadan, -at the earliest opportunity, to smoke.</p> - -<p>As they neared the castle, the Professor’s attention -was absorbed in observing the details of the -structure. It was a massive edifice of stone, having -severe outlines and no ornamentation worthy of the -name, but presenting, from the very grandeur of its -proportions, an impressive and not unpleasing appearance. -It was surrounded by a wide fosse filled -with water; and the Professor was delighted to observe, -as they drew near, that the entrance was -protected with a portcullis and a drawbridge. The -bridge was drawn up, and the iron portcullis, made -of bars of huge size, was closed.</p> - -<p>“Magnificent, isn’t it, Tilly?” exclaimed the -Professor, gleefully. “It is probably the most perfect -specimen of early English architecture now -upon earth. Most fortunately I have in my trunks -a photographic apparatus with which to obtain a -picture of it.”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan seized a curved horn which hung -upon the branch of a tree, and blew a blast loud -and long upon it.</p> - -<p>The Professor regarded the performance with intense -interest and not a little enthusiasm.</p> - -<p>The warder of the castle appeared at the grating, -and, perceiving Sir Dinadan, saluted him; -then lowering the drawbridge and lifting the portcullis, -which ascended with many hideous creaks<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">49</span> -and groans from the rusty iron, Sir Dinadan and -his companions entered.</p> - -<p>Leaving the Professor and Miss Baffin comfortably -seated in a great hall, the walls of which were -adorned with curious tapestries dark with age, with -swords and axes and trophies of the chase, Sir Dinadan -went in search of the Baron.</p> - -<p>“Little did we think, Tilly,” said the Professor, -looking around, “when we left New York four -weeks ago—it seems more like four years—that -we should find ourselves, within a month, in such a -place as this.”</p> - -<p>“I can hardly believe it yet,” responded Miss -Baffin.</p> - -<p>“It does seem like a dream. And yet we are -certainly wide awake, and we are in the hall of a -real castle, waiting for real people to come to us.”</p> - -<p>“Sir Dinadan seems very real, too,” said Miss -Baffin, timidly.</p> - -<p>“Very! There can be no doubt about it.”</p> - -<p>“And he behaves like a real young man, too,” -continued Miss Baffin. “He proposed to me this -morning.”</p> - -<p>“What! Proposed to you! Incredible! Why, the -boy has not known you more than an hour or two.”</p> - -<p>“He is a man, pa; not a boy,” said Miss Baffin, -a little hurt. “It <em>was</em> rather sudden; but, then, -genuine affection sometimes manifests itself in that -way.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">50</span> -The Professor smiled; he perceived the exact -situation of things. Then he looked very serious -again. This was a contingency of which he had -not taken account.</p> - -<p>“Well, Tilly,” he said, “I hardly know what to -say about the matter. It is so completely unexpected. -You didn’t accept him?”</p> - -<p>“No; not exactly, but—”</p> - -<p>“Very well, then. We will leave the situation as -it is for the present. When we have been here -longer we can better determine what we should -do.”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan entered with the Baron. The Baron -greeted his guests with warmth, making no allusion -to the occurrences in the Hermit’s cell, and -appearing, indeed, to have forgotten them.</p> - -<p>“It is enough, sir, and fair damsel, that misfortune -has thrown you upon our shores. You shall make -this your home while you live.”</p> - -<p>“A thousand thanks,” responded the Professor.</p> - -<p>“I cherish the belief that I can be of service to -you. By the way, may I ask how is the noble -Lady Bors?”</p> - -<p>“Suffering greatly. My son tells me you are a -wise leech, and can give her release from her -pain.”</p> - -<p>“I hope I can. If you will permit my daughter, -here, to see the lady and to follow my directions, -we may be able to help her.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">51</span> -“There,” said the Baron, waving his hand, “are -your apartments. When you have made ready we -will summon you to our banquet.”</p> - -<p>“Your property, which was upon the beach, will -be placed before you very soon,” said Sir Dinadan.</p> - -<p>The Professor and Miss Baffin entered the -rooms, and the Baron withdrew with his son.</p> - -<p>When the trunks came and were opened, the -guests arrayed themselves in their finest costumes, -and Miss Baffin contrived to give to her beauty a -bewildering effect by an artistic arrangement of -frippery, which received its consummation when -she placed some lovely artificial flowers in her -hair.</p> - -<p>Then the Professor, giving her certain plasters and -a soothing drug or two, requested a servant, who -stood outside the door, to announce to Lady Bors -that Miss Baffin was ready to give her treatment.</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan came forward and gallantly escorted -Miss Baffin to his mother’s room; where, after presenting -her, he left her and returned to the Professor.</p> - -<p>The young man led the Professor about the -castle, showing him its apartments, its furniture -and decorations, with an earnest purpose to try to -find favor in the eyes of the father of the woman -he loved. The Professor, for his part, was charmed -with his companion, and his interest in the castle -and its appurtenances increased every moment.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">52</span> -“This,” said Sir Dinadan, pausing before a large -oaken door, barred with iron, “is the portal to the -upper room of the south tower. In this chamber -the Baron has confined Ysolt, my sister, until she -consents to think no more of Sir Bleoberis.”</p> - -<p>“Locked her up, has he? That seems hard.”</p> - -<p>“Cruel, is it not?”</p> - -<p>“You favor the suit of the Knight, do you?” -inquired the Professor.</p> - -<p>“I would let Ysolt choose for herself. He is a -worthy man; but he has poverty.”</p> - -<p>“We must try to help him,” said the Professor.</p> - -<p>“You would act differently in such a case; would -you not?” asked Sir Dinadan, rather eagerly.</p> - -<p>“Why, yes, of course; that is, I mean,” said the -Professor, suddenly recollecting himself, and what -Miss Baffin had told him, “I mean, I would think -about it. I would give the matter thoughtful consideration.”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan sighed, and asked the Professor if -he would come with him to the dining-hall.</p> - -<p>It was a noble room. As the Professor entered -it with Sir Dinadan, as he looked at the vast fireplace -filled with burning logs, because the air of the -castle was chilly even in summer time, at the -rudely carved beams that traversed the ceiling, at -the quaint curtains and curious ornaments upon -the walls, at the long table which stretched across -the floor and bore upon its polished surface a multitude<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">53</span> -of vessels of strange and often fantastic -shapes, he could hardly believe his senses. These -things, this method of existence, he had read about -myriads of times, but they had never seemed very -real to him until he encountered them here face to -face.</p> - -<p>These people among whom he had come by such -strange mischance actually lived and moved here, -amid these scenes, and they were as common and -as prosy to them as the scenes in his own home in -the little enclosure hard by the walls of the university -building at Wingohocking.</p> - -<p>It was that home and its equipment that seemed -strange and incongruous to him now. As he -thought about it, he felt that he would experience -an actual nervous shock if he should suddenly be -plumped down in his own library. Very oddly, as -his mind reverted to the subject, his memory recalled -with peculiarly vivid distinctness an old and -faded dressing-gown in which he used to come to -breakfast; and a blue cream-jug with a broken -handle, which used to be placed before him at the -meal.</p> - -<p>It seemed to him that the dressing-gown and the -defective jug were as far back in the misty past as -such a social condition as that with which he had -now been brought into contact would have seemed -if he had thought of it a month ago.</p> - -<p>As the servants entered, bearing the viands upon<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">54</span> -large dishes, the Baron made his appearance at the -upper end of the room, and a moment later Lady -Bors walked slowly in, leaning upon the arm of -Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“Your sweet daughter,” she said, when the Professor -had been presented to her, “has eased my -pain already. I think she must be an angel sent -to me by Heaven.”</p> - -<p>“She <em>is</em> an angel,” said Sir Dinadan, emphatically, -so that his mother looked at him curiously. -Miss Baffin blushed.</p> - -<p>“Angels, my lady, do not come with porous -plasters,” said the Professor, smiling.</p> - -<p>“I love her already, whether she is angel or -woman,” replied Lady Bors, patting Miss Baffin’s -arm.</p> - -<p>“So do—,” Sir Dinadan did not complete the -sentence. It occurred to him that he might perhaps -be getting a little too demonstrative.</p> - -<p>“The Lady Tilly,” said the Baroness, “has told -me something of the adventure which brought you -here. Will you be so courteous as to tell us more, -and to inform us of that strange and wonderful -land from which you have come?”</p> - -<p>“Willingly, madam,” replied the Professor. And -so, while the meal was in progress, the Professor,—not -neglecting the food, for he was really hungry,—tried, -in the plainest language he could command, -to convey to the minds of his hearers some notion<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">55</span> -of the marvels of modern civilization. The Baron, -Lady Bors, and Sir Dinadan asked many questions, -and they more than once expressed the greatest -astonishment at the revelations made in the Professor’s -narrative.</p> - -<p>“I will show you some of these wonders,” said -Professor Baffin. “Most happily I have with me -in my trunks quite a number of instruments, such -as those I have told you of.”</p> - -<p>“In your trunks!” exclaimed the Baron. “You -do not wear trunks, as we do.”</p> - -<p>The Professor at once explained the misapprehension. -When he had done, there was heard in -the room the twanging of the strings of a rude -musical instrument.</p> - -<p>“It is the minstrel,” said Sir Dinadan, as the -Professor and Miss Baffin looked around.</p> - -<p>The Professor was delighted.</p> - -<p>“He is going to sing,” said the Baron.</p> - -<p>The bard, after a few preliminary thrums upon -an imbecile harp, burst into song. He occupied -several moments in reciting a ballad of chivalry, -and although his manner was dramatic, his voice -was sadly cracked and out of tune.</p> - -<p>“Tilly,” said the Professor, “remember to note -in your journal that the musical system here is -constructed from a defective minor scale, with incorrect -intervals. I observed precisely the same -characteristics in the song that our Irish nurse,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">56</span> -Mary, used to put you to sleep with when you -were a baby. I stood outside the chamber door -one night, and wrote the strain down as she sang -it. This proves that it is very ancient.”</p> - -<p>“You like the song, then?” asked the Baron.</p> - -<p>“It is very interesting, indeed—very!” replied -the Professor. “I think we shall obtain a great -deal of valuable information here. No, Tilly, you -had better refuse it,” said the Professor, observing -that Sir Dinadan, who appeared to be animated by -a resolute purpose to stuff Miss Baffin, was pressing -another dish upon her, “you will spoil your -night’s rest.”</p> - -<p>“Do you sing, Sir Baffin?” inquired Lady Bors.</p> - -<p>“Never in company, my lady,” replied the Professor; -“my vocalization would excite too much -alarm.”</p> - -<p>The Baron and his wife manifestly did not comprehend -the pleasantry.</p> - -<p>“My daughter sings very nicely; but you can -hear her sing without her lips being opened. Excuse -me for a moment.”</p> - -<p>The Professor went to his apartment, and presently -returned, bringing with him a phonograph. -Placing it upon the table, he turned the crank. -From the funnel at once issued a lovely soprano -voice, singing, with exquisite enunciation and inflection, -a song, every word of which was heard by -the listeners.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">57</span> -Lady Bors looked scared, Sir Dinadan crossed -himself, the Baron eyed the Professor doubtfully, -the minstrel over in the corner laid down his harp, -and relieved his overcharged feelings by bursting -into tears, which he wiped away with the sleeve of -his tunic.</p> - -<p>“It must be magic,” said the Baron, at last; “no -mere man could hide an angelic spirit in such a -place, and compel it to sing.”</p> - -<p>“Allow me to explain,” said the Professor; and -then he unfolded the mechanism, and showed the -method of its operation. “My daughter sang up -several songs for me before we left home. They -were stored away here for future use. Tilly, my -love, sing something, so that our friends can perceive -that it is the same voice.”</p> - -<p>Miss Baffin, after some hesitation, began “The -Last Rose of Summer.” While she sang, Sir Dinadan -looked at her with rapture depicted on his -countenance. When she had done he reflected for -an instant, and then, rising and walking over to the -place where the minstrel sat, he seized by the ear -that unfortunate operator with defective minor -scales, and, leading him to the door, he kicked him -into the hall.</p> - -<p>This appeared to relieve Sir Dinadan’s feelings.</p> - -<p>When he returned, the Professor persuaded him -to have his voice recorded by the phonograph; -and by the time the Baron and Lady Bors had<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">58</span> -also tried the experiment, the faith of the family -in the powers of Professor Baffin had risen to -such a pitch that the Baron would have been almost -ready to lay wagers in favor of his omnipotence.</p> - -<p>The Professor that evening accepted for himself -and his daughter a very urgent invitation to make -the castle their home, at least until Fate and the -future should determine if they were to remain permanently -upon the island. The chance that they -would ever escape seemed indeed, exceedingly -slender; and the Professor resolved to accept -the promise with philosophical resignation.</p> - -<p>He employed much of his time during the first -weeks that he was the Baron’s guest in making the -Baron familiar with some of the wonders of modern -discovery and invention. The Baron also was deeply -interested in an exhibition given by the Professor -of the powers of his patent india-rubber life-raft, -which the Professor brought up from the beach -folded into a small bundle. After inflating it, to -the amazement of the spectators, he put it into the -fosse that surrounded the castle and paddled about -upon it. The raft was allowed to remain in the -ditch ready for use.</p> - -<p>The Professor often went outside the castle walls -to talk with Sir Bleoberis, and to comfort him. -The Professor explained the telegraph and the locomotive -to the Knight; and when the Knight assured<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">59</span> -him that the armorers of the island could -make the machinery that would be required, if they -should receive suitable instructions, the Professor -arranged to build a short railroad line and a telegraph -line in partnership with Sir Bleoberis, if the -latter would obtain the necessary concession from -King Brandegore. Professor Baffin was of the -opinion that the Knight, by such means, might -ultimately acquire great wealth.</p> - -<p>Meantime Sir Dagonet had been seen several -times of late in the vicinity of the castle, and once -he had made again a formal demand upon the Baron -for Ysolt’s hand. This the Baron refused, whereupon -Sir Dagonet returned an insolent reply that -he would have her in spite of her father’s objection. -The Professor sincerely pitied both Ysolt and Sir -Bleoberis, but as the Baron always became violently -angry when the suffering of the lovers was alluded -to, the Professor disliked to plead their cause.</p> - -<p>It occurred to him, however, one day that there -could be no possible harm in arranging to permit -the forlorn creatures to converse with each other; -and so, with the help of Miss Baffin, who was allowed -to enter the captive’s room, he fixed up a -telephone, the machinery of which he had in one -of his trunks, with a wire running from Ysolt’s -window to a point some distance beyond the castle -wall.</p> - -<p>The battery with which the instruments were<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">60</span> -supplied was placed in an iron box furnished by -Sir Bleoberis, and hidden behind a huge oak tree.</p> - -<p>The lovers were delighted with the telephone and -its performances; but the Professor’s ingenious -kindness caused him a great deal of serious trouble.</p> - -<p>It seems that Miss Baffin one morning had been -showing her father’s umbrella to Ysolt, and making -her acquainted with its peculiarities and uses.</p> - -<p>When Miss Baffin had withdrawn, Sir Bleoberis -began to breathe through the telephone protestations -of his undying love, and finally he appealed -to Ysolt to fly with him. Of course he expected -nothing to come of this appeal, for he had not the -slightest conception of any method by which Ysolt -could escape from her prison. He merely threw it -in, in a general sort of a way, as an expression of -the intensity of his affection.</p> - -<p>But it suggested to the mind of Ysolt an ingenious -thought; and she responded through the telephone -that if Sir Bleoberis would keep out of sight -and have his gallant steed ready, she would join -him in a few moments. The Knight’s heart beat -so fiercely at this news that it fairly made his armor -vibrate.</p> - -<p>Obeying the orders of Ysolt, he went behind the -oak and sat upon the iron box containing the Professor’s -battery and electrical apparatus.</p> - -<p>Ysolt’s window was but twenty feet from the surface -of the water in the fosse. Directly beneath it,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">61</span> -by a most fortunate chance, floated the life-raft of -Professor Baffin. The brave girl, climbing upon -the stone sill of the window, hoisted the umbrella, -and sailing swiftly downward through the air, she -alighted safely upon the raft. A single push upon -the wall sent it to the further side of the ditch, -whereupon Ysolt leaped ashore, unperceived by the -warder or by any one in the castle.</p> - -<p>A moment more, and seated upon the steed of -her cavalier, with his strong arm around her, she -would be flying to peace and happiness and love’s -sweet fulfilment, far, far beyond the reach of the -angry Baron’s power.</p> - -<p>But, alas, human life is so full of mischances! -As Ysolt neared the great oak behind which her -lover sat, Sir Dagonet came riding carelessly across -the lawn. Seeing her he spurred his horse forward, -and, right before the eyes of Sir Bleoberis, -he grasped her by the arm, tossed her to his saddle -and dashed away across the country.</p> - -<div id="ip_61" class="figcenter" style="max-width: 26em;"> - <img src="images/i_060.jpg" width="408" height="604" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><span class="smcap">Why Sir Bleoberis did not Leap to the Rescue.</span></div></div> - -<p>But why did not Sir Bleoberis leap to the rescue?</p> - -<p>Sir Bleoberis tried with all his might to do so; -but he had on a full suit of steel armor, and the -Professor’s battery, by some means even yet unexplained, -so charged the cover of the box with magnetism -that it held the Knight close down. He -could not move a muscle of his legs. He writhed -and twisted and expressed his fury in language that -was vehement and scandalous; but the Professor’s<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">62</span> -infamous machine held him fast; and he was compelled -to sit by, imbecile and raging, while the -wind bore to his ears the heart-rending screams of -his sweetheart as she cried to him to come and -save her from an awful fate.</p> - -<p>The shrieks of the unhappy Ysolt penetrated to -the castle, and at once the Baron ran out, followed -by Sir Dinadan, Professor Baffin, and a host of the -Baron’s retainers, all of them armed and ready for -war. The first act of the Professor was to capture -his expanded umbrella, which was being blown -about wildly by the wind. Furling it, he proceeded -to the place where Sir Bleoberis sat, trying -to explain to the infuriated Baron what had happened.</p> - -<p>“There!” said Sir Bleoberis, savagely, pointing -to the Professor, “is the vile wretch that did it all! -Seize him! He, he alone is to blame.”</p> - -<p>The Professor was amazed.</p> - -<p>“Yes!” exclaimed Sir Bleoberis, “it was he who -persuaded the fair Ysolt to leap from the window; -it was he who notified Sir Dagonet, and it is his -wicked enchantment that held me here so that I -could not fly to her succor. I cannot even get up -now.”</p> - -<p>“The man,” said the Professor to the Baron, -“appears to be suffering from intellectual aberration. -I can’t imagine what he means. Why don’t -you rise?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">63</span> -“You, foul wizard, know that I am held here by -your infernal power!”</p> - -<p>“Try to be calm,” said the Professor, soothingly. -“Your expressions are too strong. Let me see—. -Why, bless my soul, the electrical current has magnetized -the box. There, now,” said the Professor -as he snipped a couple of the wires, “try it again.”</p> - -<p>Sir Bleoberis arose without effort. Baron Bors -stepped forward and said sternly:</p> - -<p>“What, you, Sir Bleoberis, were doing here I -do not know. I suspect you of evil purposes. But -it is clear you had nothing to do with the seizure of -my daughter, if, indeed, she has been carried off -by Sir Dagonet. You may go. But as for you,” -shouted the Baron, turning to the Professor, “I -perceive that your devilish arts have been used -against me and my family while you have been -eating my bread. The world shall no longer be -burdened by such a monster. Away with him to -the scaffold!”</p> - -<p>“This,” said the Professor, as the perspiration -stood in beads upon his pallid face, “is painful; -very painful. Allow me to explain. The fact is -I—”</p> - -<p>“Away!” said the Baron, with an impatient gesture. -“Off with his head as quickly as possible!”</p> - -<p>“But, my dear sir,” contended the Professor, as -the Baron’s retainers seized him, “this is simply -awful! No court, no jury, no trial, no chance to tell<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">64</span> -my story! It is not just. It is not fair play. Permit -me, for one moment, to—”</p> - -<p>“To the block with him!” screamed the Baron. -“Have no more parley about it!”</p> - -<p>Sir Bleoberis came forward.</p> - -<p>“Sir Bors,” he said, “this, in a measure, is my -quarrel. It falls to me by right to punish this -wretch. Will you permit me?” and then Sir -Bleoberis struck the Professor in the face with his -mailed gauntlet.</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin would have assailed him upon -the spot, but for the fact that he was a captive.</p> - -<p>“He means that you shall fight him,” said Sir -Dinadan, who retained his faith in the Professor, -remembering his own affection for Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“Certainly I will,” said the Professor. “Where, -and when, and how? I would like to have it out -right here on the spot.”</p> - -<p>It is melancholy to think what would have been -the sorrow of the members of the Universal Peace -Society, of which the Professor was the first vice-president, -if they could have observed the eagerness -with which that good man seemed to long for -the fray, and the fiery rage which beamed from -his eyes until the sparks almost appeared to fly -from his spectacles.</p> - -<p>Miss Baffin at this moment rushed upon the -scene, and in wild affright flung her arms about her -father.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">65</span> -“The contest shall be made,” said the Baron, -sternly. “Unhand him!”</p> - -<p>The Professor hurriedly explained the matter to -Matilda, who sobbed piteously.</p> - -<p>“You shall have my armor, my horse, and my -lance,” said Sir Dinadan in a kindly voice to the -Professor. “Go and get them,” he continued, -speaking to some of the servants.</p> - -<p>“Thank you,” said the Professor. “I am much -obliged. You are a fine young man.”</p> - -<p>“But, pa,” said Miss Baffin through her tears, -“surely you are not going to fight?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, my love.”</p> - -<p>“And you a member of the Peace Society, too.”</p> - -<p>“I can’t help it, my child. You may omit to -note this extraordinary occurrence in your journal. -The Society may as well remain in ignorance of -it. But I must conform to the customs of the -place.”</p> - -<p>“How can you ever do anything upon a horse, -with armor and a lance? It is dreadful!”</p> - -<p>“No, my child, it may perhaps be regarded as -fortunate. For many years I have longed to observe -the practices of ancient chivalry more closely; -that opportunity has now come. I am about to -have actual practical experience with them.”</p> - -<p>Miss Baffin wiped her eyes as Sir Dinadan came -to her side and tried to comfort her. Sir Agravaine, -who had ridden up during the excitement,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">66</span> -dismounted when he saw Miss Baffin, and pulling -Sir Dinadan by the sleeve, he whispered:</p> - -<p>“You are acquainted with that lady?”</p> - -<p>“Yes.”</p> - -<p>“Would you mind ascertaining for me if I am to -understand her remarkable conduct to me as tantamount -to a refusal? I don’t want to trouble you, -but—”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan turned abruptly away, leaving Sir -Agravaine still involved in doubt.</p> - -<p>When the armor came, Sir Dinadan helped the -Professor to put it on. It was a size or two too -large for him, and the Professor had a considerable -amount of difficulty in adjusting the pieces properly, -but, with the help of Sir Dinadan, he at last -succeeded.</p> - -<p>“Bring me my lance!” he exclaimed, with a -firm voice, as he stepped forward.</p> - -<p>“It is here,” said Sir Dinadan.</p> - -<p>“Farewell, my child,” said the Professor to Miss -Baffin, making a futile attempt to bend his elbows -so that he could embrace her. “Farewell!” and -the Professor tried to kiss her, but he merely succeeded -in injuring her nose with the visor of his -helmet.</p> - -<p>“O pa!” said Miss Baffin, weeping, “if you -should be killed.”</p> - -<p>“No danger of that love, none at all. I am perfectly -safe. I feel exactly as if I were a cooking-stove,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">67</span> -to be sure; but you may depend upon my -giving a good account of myself. And now, dear, -adieu! Ho, there!” exclaimed the Professor, with -faint reminiscences of the tragic stage coming into -his mind. “Bring me my steed!”</p> - -<p>The determined efforts of four muscular men -were required to mount the Professor upon his -horse. And when he was fairly astride, with his -lance in his hand, he felt as if he weighed at least -three thousand pounds, and the weapon seemed -quite as large as the jib-boom of the “Morning -Star.”</p> - -<p>The warrior did his best to sit his horse gracefully; -but the miserable beast pranced and curveted -in such a very unreasonable manner that his -spectacles were continually shaking loose, and in -his efforts to fix them, and at the same time to -hold his horse, he lost control of his lance, and -came near impaling two or three of the spectators.</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan’s own groom then took the bridle-rein, -and leading the horse quietly to the jousting-ground -put him in place directly opposite to Sir -Bleoberis, whose lance was in rest, and who evidently -intended to spit the Professor through and -through at the first encounter.</p> - -<p>The Professor really felt uncomfortably at a disadvantage -in his iron-clad condition, and he began -to think that the sports and combats of the olden -time were perhaps not so interesting after all,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">68</span> -when brought within the range of practical experience.</p> - -<p>Suddenly the herald’s trumpet sounded a blast. -The Professor had not the least notion of the meaning -of the sound, but Sir Bleoberis started promptly -towards him, and the Professor’s horse, trained at -jousting, also started. The Professor was not quite -ready, and he pulled the rein hard while trying to -fix his lance in its rest. This caused the horse to -swerve sharply around, whereupon the warrior’s -spectacles came off, and the horse dashed at full -speed to the side of the jousting-ground, bringing -the half-blinded Professor’s lance up against a tree, -into which the point stuck fast. The Professor was -hurled with some violence to the ground, and the -horse ran away.</p> - -<p>When they picked him up and unlatched his helmet, -he was bleeding at the nose.</p> - -<p>“It is of no consequence, Matilda, of no consequence, -I assure you,” he said. “I am shaken up -a little, but not hurt. I think, perhaps, I need -practice at this kind of thing.”</p> - -<p>The Professor, while speaking, felt about him in -a bewildered way for the pocket in which he was -used to keep his handkerchief. But as the armor -baffled his efforts to find it, Miss Baffin offered him -her kerchief with which to stanch the blood.</p> - -<p>“The ancients, Matilda,” said the Professor, as -he pressed the handkerchief to his nose, “must<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">69</span> -have possessed great physical strength, and they -could not have been near sighted. By the way, -where are my glasses?”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan handed them to him.</p> - -<p>“You will not attempt to get on that horrid -horse, again, pa, will you?” said Miss Baffin, entreatingly.</p> - -<p>“I think not, my child, unless I am forced to do -so. Jousting is interesting to read about; but as a -matter of fact it is brutal. I think, Sir Dinadan, I -should be more comfortable if I could get this cast-iron -overcoat off, so that I could move my elbows -without creaking.”</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan helped him to remove his armor, and -said:</p> - -<p>“My noble mother has insisted that Sir Bleoberis -shall not fight with you, and the Baron has yielded -to her wish.”</p> - -<p>“How can I thank you?” exclaimed Miss -Baffin.</p> - -<p>Sir Dinadan looked at her as if he would like -to tell her how, if he dared venture. But he only -said:</p> - -<p>“I deserve no thanks. My mother is upon your -side and that of your father. She asks me to bring -him to her.”</p> - -<p>The Baron was with his wife, and Sir Bleoberis -stood before them.</p> - -<p>“Sir Bamn,” said the Baron, “Lady Bors insists<span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">70</span> -that you are innocent of any wrong-doing; and Sir -Bleoberis, seeing that you are unskilled, has resolved -not to have a combat with you. I am willing -to pardon you upon one condition: that you -find my daughter and bring her back to me.”</p> - -<p>“That I should be willing to try to do under any -circumstances,” said the Professor. “I regret her -loss very deeply. But, you see, I know nothing of -the country. I am afraid I should not discover her -if I should go alone.”</p> - -<p>“I will go with you,” said Sir Bleoberis.</p> - -<p>“That is first-rate,” said the Professor. “Give -me your hand.”</p> - -<p>“We will keep your daughter in the castle as a -hostage,” said the Baron. “When you return with -Ysolt you shall have the Lady Tilly, and Sir Bleoberis -shall have Ysolt.”</p> - -<p>“I am profoundly grateful,” replied Sir Bleoberis, -bowing.</p> - -<p>“My dear,” said the Professor to Miss Baffin, -“does the arrangement suit you?”</p> - -<p>“It suits me,” muttered Sir Dinadan.</p> - -<p>“I must stay whether I wish to or not,” replied -Miss Baffin. “But I shall worry about you every -moment while you are gone.”</p> - -<p>“Sir Dinadan may be able to soothe her,” said -Sir Bleoberis, with a smile.</p> - -<p>“I think I could, if I were allowed to try,” insinuated -Sir Agravaine.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">71</span> -“I charge Sir Dinadan and his noble parents -with the task,” said the Professor.</p> - -<p>The entire party, with the exception of Sir Agravaine, -then returned to the castle, so that the Professor -could make ready for the journey.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">72</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER III.<br /> - -<span class="subhead">THE RESCUE.</span></h3> -</div> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_072.png" width="66" height="68" alt="P" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword in04">Professor Baffin</span> politely declined -to wear the armor of Sir Dinadan upon -the journey. He packed a few things in a -satchel, and putting his revolver in his pocket, he -bade adieu to his daughter and the members of the -Baron’s family. Mounting his horse by the side of -Sir Bleoberis, who rode in full armor, the two -trotted briskly out through the woods to the roadway, -which ran by not far from the castle.</p> - -<p>“Where shall we go to look for the lady?” -asked the Professor, as the Knight started down -the road at a rapid pace.</p> - -<p>“The villain, no doubt, has carried her captive to -his castle. We shall seek her there.”</p> - -<p>“How are we going to get her out? I have had -very little experience, personally, in storming castles.”</p> - -<p>“We shall have to devise some plan when we -get there,” replied the Knight. “The castle, unhappily,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">73</span> -is upon an island in the middle of the -lake.”</p> - -<p>“And I can’t swim,” said the Professor.</p> - -<p>“Perhaps the King will give us help. It is close -to the place where he holds his court.”</p> - -<p>The Professor began to think that the case -looked exceedingly unpromising. He lapsed into -silence, thinking over the probable results of the -failure of his mission; and as the Knight appeared -to be absorbed in his own reflections, the pair -rode forward without engaging in further conversation.</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin did not fail to notice the extreme -loveliness of the country through which they were -passing. It presented all the characteristics of a -perfect English landscape; but he observed that it -was not fully cultivated, and that the agricultural -methods employed were of a very primitive kind.</p> - -<p>After an hour’s ride, the two horsemen entered a -wood. Hardly had they done so before they heard, -near to them, the voice of a woman crying loudly -for help. Sir Bleoberis at once spurred his horse -forward, and the Professor followed close behind him.</p> - -<p>Presently they perceived a Knight in armor endeavoring -to hold upon the horse in front of him -a young woman of handsome appearance, who -screamed loudly as she attempted to release herself -from his grasp.</p> - -<p>“Drop her!” exclaimed the Professor in an excited<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">74</span> -manner, and drawing his revolver, “put her -down; let her go at once!”</p> - -<p>The Knight turned, and seeing the intruders he -released the maiden, and levelling his lance, made -straight for Sir Bleoberis at full gallop.</p> - -<p>The lady, white with terror, flew to the Professor, -and reposed her head upon his bosom.</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin was embarrassed. He had no -idea what he had better do or say. He could not -repulse the poor creature; and as the situation, -upon the whole, was not positively disagreeable, he -permitted her to remain, sobbing upon his bosom, -while he watched the fight and dried her eyes, in -a fatherly way, with his handkerchief.</p> - -<p>The two Knights came together with a terrible -shock which made the sparks fly; but neither was -unhorsed or injured, and the lances of both glanced -aside. They turned, and made at each other -again. This time the lance of each pierced the -armor of the other, so that neither lance could -be withdrawn. It really seemed as if the two -knights would have to undress and to walk off, -leaving their armor pinioned together. A moment -later the strange Knight fell to the ground, and -lay perfectly still. The Professor went up to him -and taking his lance from his hand, so that Sir -Bleoberis could move, unlaced the Knight’s helmet.</p> - -<p>He was dead.</p> - -<p>The Professor was inexpressibly shocked.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">75</span> -“Why,” he exclaimed, “the man is dead! Most -horrible, isn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, no,” said Sir Bleoberis, coolly. “I tried to -kill him.”</p> - -<p>“You wanted to murder him?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes, of course.”</p> - -<p>“I am so glad you did,” exclaimed the damsel -with a sweet smile. “How can I thank you? -And you, my dear preserver.”</p> - -<p>“Bless my soul, madam,” exclaimed the Professor, -“I had nothing to do with it. I consider it -perfectly horrible.”</p> - -<p>Turning to Sir Bleoberis, the maiden said, “It -was you who fought, but it was this brave and wise -man who brought you here, was it not?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” said Sir Bleoberis, smiling.</p> - -<p>“I knew it,” exclaimed the lady, flinging her -arms around the Professor’s neck. “I can never -repay you—never, never, excepting with a life of -devotion.”</p> - -<p>The Professor began to feel warm. Disengaging -himself as speedily as possible, he <span class="locked">said—</span></p> - -<p>“Of course madam, I am very glad you have -been rescued—very. But I deeply regret that the -Knight over there was slain. What,” asked the -Professor of Sir Bleoberis, “will you do with him?”</p> - -<p>“Let him lie. He is of no further use.”</p> - -<p>“I never heard of anything so shocking,” said -Professor Baffin. “And how are we to dispose of -this lady?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">76</span> -“I will go with you,” exclaimed the damsel, looking -eagerly at the Professor. “Let me tell you my -story. My name is Bragwaine. I am the daughter -of the Prince Sagramor. That dead Knight -found me, a few hours ago, walking in the park by -my father’s castle. Sir Lamorak, he was called. -Riding up swiftly to me, he seized me, and carried -me away. He brought me, despite my screams -and struggles, to this place, where you found us -both. I should now be a captive in his castle but -for you.”</p> - -<p>Bragwaine seemed about to fall upon the Professor’s -neck again, but he pretended to stumble, and -retreated to a safe distance.</p> - -<p>“Is there much of this kind of thing going on,—this -business of galloping off with marriageable -girls?” asked the Professor.</p> - -<p>“Oh yes,” said Sir Bleoberis.</p> - -<p>“I thought so,” said the Professor; “this is the -second case I have encountered to-day. We shall -most likely have quite a collection of rescued damsels -on our hands by the time we get back home. -It is interesting, but embarrassing.”</p> - -<p>“I know Prince Sagramor,” said Sir Bleoberis -to Bragwaine. “We are going to the court, and -will take you to your father.”</p> - -<p>“<em>You</em> will take me, Sir—Sir—”</p> - -<p>“Sir Baffin,” explained Sir Bleoberis.</p> - -<p>“Sir Baffin, will you not?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">77</span> -“You can have my horse. I will walk.”</p> - -<p>“I will ride upon your horse with you, and you -shall hold me on,” said Bragwaine.</p> - -<p>“That is the custom,” said Bleoberis.</p> - -<p>“But,” exclaimed the Professor with an air of -distress, “I am not used to riding double. I doubt -if I can manage the horse and hold you on at the -same time.”</p> - -<p>“You need not hold me,” said Bragwaine laughingly; -“I will hold fast to you. I shall not fall.”</p> - -<p>“But then—”</p> - -<p>“I <em>will</em> go with you,” said Bragwaine almost -tearfully. “You won me from the hands of that -villain, Lamorak, and I am not so ungrateful as to -leave you to cling to another person.”</p> - -<p>“Well, I declare!” exclaimed the Professor, -“this certainly is a very curious situation for a -man like me to find himself in. However, I will -do the best I can.”</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin mounted his steed, and then Sir -Bleoberis swung the fair Bragwaine up to a place -on the saddle in front of the Professor. Bragwaine -clutched his coat-sleeve tightly; and although the -Professor felt that there was no real necessity that -she should attempt to preserve her equipoise by -pressing his shoulder strongly with her head, he -regarded the arrangement without very intense -indignation.</p> - -<p>He found that he could ride very comfortably<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">78</span> -with two in the saddle, but he felt that his attention -could be given more effectively to the management -of the horse if Bragwaine would stop turning -her eyes up to his in that distracting manner so -frequently.</p> - -<p>They rode along in silence for awhile. Suddenly -Bragwaine said:</p> - -<p>“Sir Baffin?”</p> - -<p>“Well; what?”</p> - -<p>“Are you married?”</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin hardly knew what answer he had -better give. After hesitating for a moment, he said:</p> - -<p>“I have been.”</p> - -<p>“Then your wife is dead?”</p> - -<p>The Professor could not lie. He had to say -“Yes!”</p> - -<p>“I am so glad,” murmured Bragwaine. “Not -that she is dead, but that you are free.”</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin was afraid to ask why. He felt -that matters were becoming serious.</p> - -<p>“And the reason is,” continued Bragwaine, “that -I have learned to love you better than I love any -other one on earth!”</p> - -<p>She said this calmly, very modestly, and quite as -if it were a matter of course.</p> - -<p>The Professor in astonishment looked at Sir Bleoberis, -who had heard Bragwaine’s words. The -Knight nodded to him pleasantly, and said, “I expected -this.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">79</span> -Evidently it was not an unusual thing for ladies -so to express their feelings.</p> - -<p>The somewhat bewildered Sir Baffin then said, -“Well, my dear child, it is very kind indeed for you -to regard me in that manner. I have done nothing -to deserve it.”</p> - -<p>“You are my rescuer, my benefactor, my heart’s -idol!”</p> - -<p>“Persons at my time of life,” said the Professor, -blushing, “have to be extremely careful. I will be -a father to you, of course! Oh, certainly, you may -count upon me being a father to you, right along.”</p> - -<p>“I do not mean that I love you as a daughter. -You must marry me; you dear Sir Baffin.” Then -she actually patted his cheek.</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin could feel the cold perspiration -trickling down his back.</p> - -<p>“I think,” he said to Sir Bleoberis, “that this is, -everything considered, altogether <em>the</em> most stupendous -combination of circumstances that ever came -within the range of my observation. It is positively -distressing.”</p> - -<p>“You will break my heart if you will not love -me,” said Bragwaine, as if she were going to cry.</p> - -<p>“Well, well,” replied the bewildered Professor, -“we can consider the subject at some other time. -Your father, you know, might have other views, -and,—”</p> - -<p>“The Prince, my father, will overwhelm you<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">80</span> -with gratitude for saving me. I know he will approve -of our marriage. I will persuade him to -have you knighted, and to secure for you some -high place at court.”</p> - -<p>“That,” said the Professor, “would probably -make me acutely miserable for life.”</p> - -<p>Within an hour or two after the fight with Sir -Lamorak, the Professor and his companions drew -near to Callion, the town in which King Brandegore -held his court.</p> - -<p>Just before entering it they encountered Prince -Sagramor coming out with a retinue of knights in -pursuit of Sir Lamorak and his daughter. Naturally -he was filled with joy at finding that she had -been rescued and brought back to him.</p> - -<p>After embracing her, he greeted Sir Bleoberis -and the Professor warmly, thanking them for the -service they had done to him. Bragwaine insisted -upon the Professor’s especial title to gratitude, and -when she had told with eloquence of his wisdom -and his valor, and had added to her story Sir Bleoberis’s -explanation of the Professor’s adventures, -the Prince saluted the latter, and said:</p> - -<p>“There is only one way in which I can honor -you, Sir Baffin. I perceive that already you have -won the heart of this damsel. I had intended her -for another. But she is fairly yours. Take her, -gallant sir, and with her a loving father’s blessing!”</p> - -<p>Bragwaine wept for happiness.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">81</span> -“But, your highness, if I might be permitted to -explain—” stammered the Professor.</p> - -<p>“I know!” replied the Prince. “You will perhaps -say you are poor. It is nothing. I will make -you rich. It is enough for me that she loves you, -and that you return it.”</p> - -<p>“I cannot sufficiently thank you for your kindness,” -said the Professor, “but really there is a—”</p> - -<p>“If you are not noble, the King will cure that. -He wants such brave men as you are in his service,” -said the Prince.</p> - -<p>“I am a free-born American citizen, and the -equal of any man on earth,” said the Professor -proudly, “but to tell you the honest truth, I—”</p> - -<p>“You are not already married?” inquired the -Prince, somewhat suspiciously.</p> - -<p>“I have been married; my wife is dead, and—”</p> - -<p>“Then, of course, you can marry Bragwaine. -Sir Colgrevance,” said the Prince to one of his attendants, -“ride over and tell the abbot that Bragwaine -will wish to be married to-morrow!”</p> - -<p>“To-morrow!” shrieked the Professor. “I really -must protest; you are much too sudden. I have -an important mission to fulfil, and I must attend to -that first, and at once.”</p> - -<p>Sir Bleoberis explained to the Prince the nature -of their errand, and told him the Professor’s daughter -was held as a hostage until he should bring -Ysolt back to Baron Bors.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">82</span> -“We will delay the wedding, then,” said the -Prince. “And now, let us ride homeward.”</p> - -<p>If it had not been for the heart-rending manner -in which everybody regarded him as the future -husband of Bragwaine, and for the extreme tenderness -of that lady’s behavior toward him, the Professor -would have enjoyed hugely his sojourn at the -court. King Brandegore regarded him from the -first with high favor, and the sovereign’s conduct -of course sufficed to recommend the Professor to -everybody else. The Professor found the King to -be a man of rather large mind, and it was a continual -source of pleasure to the learned man to unfold -to the King, who listened with amazement and -admiration, the wonders of modern invention, -science, and discovery.</p> - -<p>With what instruments the Professor’s ingenuity -could construct from the rude materials at hand; -he showed a number of experiments, chiefly electrical, -which so affected the King that he ordered the -regular court magician to be executed as a perfectly -hopeless humbug; but Professor Baffin’s -energetic protest saved the unhappy conjurer from -so sad a fate.</p> - -<p>An extemporized telegraph line, a few hundred -yards in length, impressed the King more strongly -than any other thing, and not only did he make -to Sir Bleoberis and the Professor exclusive concessions -of the right to build lines within his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">83</span> -dominions, but he promised to organize, at an early -day, a raid upon a neighboring sovereign, for the -purpose of obtaining plunder enough to give to the -enterprise a handsome subsidy.</p> - -<p>Sir Dagonet did not come to court during the -Professor’s stay. But there, in full view of the -palace, a mile away in the lake, was his castle, and -in that castle was the lovely Ysolt.</p> - -<p>The Professor examined the building frequently -through his field-glasses, which, by the way, the -King regarded with unspeakable admiration; and -more than once he thought he could distinguish -Ysolt sitting by the window of one of the towers -overlooking the lake.</p> - -<p>The King several times sent to Sir Dagonet -messages commanding Sir Dagonet to bring the -damsel to him, but as Sir Dagonet invariably responded -by trying to brain the messenger or to -sink his boat, the King was forced to give it up as -a hopeless case. Storming the castle was out of -the question. None of the available boats were -large enough to carry more than half a dozen men, -and Sir Dagonet had many boats of great size -which he could man, so as to assail any hostile fleet -before it came beneath the castle wall.</p> - -<p>But the Professor had a plan of his own, which -he was working out in secret, while he waited. -Sir Bleoberis had procured several skilful armorers, -and under the directions of the Professor they<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">84</span> -undertook to construct, in rather a crude fashion, -a small steam-engine. This, when the parts were -completed, was fitted into a boat with a propeller -screw, and when the craft was launched upon the -lake, the Professor was delighted to find that it -worked very nicely. The trial-trip was made at -night, so that the secret of the existence of such a -vessel might be kept from any of the friends of -Sir Dagonet who might be loitering about.</p> - -<p>It devolved upon Sir Bleoberis, by bribing a -servant of Sir Dagonet’s who came ashore, to send -a message to Ysolt. She was ordered to watch at -a given hour upon a certain night for a signal -which should be given from a boat, beneath her -window, and then to leap fearlessly into the water.</p> - -<p>The night chosen was to be the eve of the Professor’s -wedding-day. The more Prince Sagramor -saw of Professor Baffin and his feats, the more -strongly did he admire him; and in order to make -provision against any accident which should deprive -his daughter of marriage with so remarkable -a man, the Prince commanded the wedding-day to -be fixed positively, despite the remonstrances -which the Professor offered somewhat timidly, in -view of the extreme delicacy of the matter.</p> - -<p>Upon the night in question, the Professor, at the -request of the King, who was very curious to have -an opportunity to learn from practical experience -the nature of the thing which the Professor called<span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">85</span> -“a lecture,” undertook to deliver in the dining-room -of the palace the lecture upon Sociology, -which he had prepared for his course in England.</p> - -<p>The room was packed, and the interest and curiosity -at first manifested were intense; but the -Professor spoke for an hour and three-quarters, -losing his place several times because of the -wretched character of the lights, and when he had -concluded, he was surprised to discover that his -entire audience was sound asleep.</p> - -<p>At first he felt rather annoyed, but in an instant -he perceived that chance had arranged matters in -an extremely favorable manner.</p> - -<p>It was within precisely half an hour of the time -when he was to be in the boat under the window -of Ysolt.</p> - -<p>Stepping softly from the platform, he went upon -tiptoe from the room. Not a sleeper awoke. -Hurrying from the palace to the shore, he found -Sir Bleoberis sitting in the boat, and awaiting him -with impatience.</p> - -<p>The Professor entered the craft, and applying a -lighted match to the wood beneath the boiler, he -pushed the boat away from the shore, and waited -until he could get steam enough to move with.</p> - -<p>A few moments sufficed for this, and then, opening -the throttle-valve gently, the tiny steamer -sailed swiftly over the bosom of the lake, through<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">86</span> -the intense darkness, until the wall of the castle, -dark and gloomy, loomed up directly ahead.</p> - -<p>A light was faintly burning in Ysolt’s chamber -in the tower, and the casement was open.</p> - -<p>As the prow of the boat lightly touched the stones -of the wall and rested, Sir Bleoberis softly whistled.</p> - -<p>“I have always been uncertain,” said the Professor -to himself, “if the ancients knew how to -whistle. This seems to indicate that they did -know how. It is extremely interesting. I must -remember to tell Tilly to note it in her journal.”</p> - -<p>In response to the signal, a head appeared at the -casement, and a soft, sweet voice said:</p> - -<p>“Is that you, darling?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, yes, it is I,” replied Sir Bleoberis. “Oh, -my love! my Ysolt!” he exclaimed, in an ecstasy.</p> - -<p>“Is Sir Baffin there, too?”</p> - -<p>“Yes. We are both here; and we have a swift -boat. Come to me at once, dear love, that we may -fly with you homeward.”</p> - -<p>“I am not quite ready, love,” replied Ysolt. -“Will not you wait for a moment?”</p> - -<p>“It is important,” said the Professor, “that we -should act quickly.”</p> - -<p>“But I <em>must</em> fix up my hair,” returned Ysolt. -“I will hurry as much as I can.”</p> - -<p>“Women,” said the Professor to his companion, -“are all alike. She would rather remain in prison -for life than come out with her hair mussed.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">87</span> -The occupants of the boat waited very impatiently -for fifteen or twenty minutes. Then Ysolt, -coming again to the window, said:</p> - -<p>“Are you there, dearest?”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” replied Sir Bleoberis, eagerly. “We are -all ready.”</p> - -<p>“And there’s no time to lose,” added Professor -Baffin.</p> - -<p>“Is your hair fixed?” asked the Knight.</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes,” said Ysolt.</p> - -<p>“Then come right down.”</p> - -<p>“Would ten minutes more make any difference?” -asked Ysolt.</p> - -<p>“It might ruin us,” replied the Professor.</p> - -<p>“We can wait no longer, darling,” said Sir Bleoberis, -firmly.</p> - -<p>“Then you will have to go without me,” said -Ysolt, with a tinge of bitterness. “It is simply -impossible for me to come till I get my bundle -packed.”</p> - -<p>“We will wait, then,” returned Sir Bleoberis, -gloomily. Then he said to the Professor: “She -had no bundle with her when she was captured.”</p> - -<p>The Professor, in silent desperation, banked his -fires, threw open the furnace-door, and began to -wonder what kind of chance he would have in the -event of a boiler explosion. Blowing off steam, -under the existing circumstances, was simply out -of the question.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">88</span> -After a delay of considerable duration, Ysolt’s -voice was heard again:</p> - -<p>“Dearest!”</p> - -<p>“What, love?” asked Sir Bleoberis.</p> - -<p>“I am all ready now,” said Ysolt.</p> - -<p>“So are we.”</p> - -<p>“How must I get down?”</p> - -<p>“Climb through the window and jump. You -will fall into the water, but I shall catch you and -place you in the boat.”</p> - -<p>“But I shall get horridly wet!”</p> - -<p>“Of course; but, darling, that can make no -great difference, so that you escape.”</p> - -<p>“And spoil my clothes, too!”</p> - -<p>“Yes, Ysolt, I know; but—”</p> - -<p>“I cannot do it; I am afraid.” And Ysolt began -to cry.</p> - -<p>Wild despair filled the heart of Sir Bleoberis.</p> - -<p>“I have a rope here,” said the Professor; “but -how are we to get it up to her?”</p> - -<p>“Ysolt,” said Bleoberis, “if I throw you the end -of a rope, do you think you can catch it?”</p> - -<p>“I will try.”</p> - -<p>Sir Bleoberis threw it. He threw it again. He -threw it thirteen times, and then Ysolt contrived -to catch it.</p> - -<p>“What shall I do with it now?” she asked.</p> - -<p>“Tie it fast to something; to the bed, or anything,” -replied the Knight.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">89</span> -“Now what shall I do?” asked the maiden, -when she had made the rope secure.</p> - -<p>“Slide right down into the boat,” said the Professor.</p> - -<p>“It would ruin my hands,” said Ysolt, mournfully.</p> - -<p>“Make the attempt, and hold on tightly,” said -Sir Bleoberis.</p> - -<p>“We shall be caught if we stay here much -longer,” observed the Professor, with anxious -thoughts of the boiler.</p> - -<p>“Good-bye then! I am lost. Go without me! -Save yourselves! Oh, this is terrible!” Ysolt began -again to cry.</p> - -<p>“I will help her,” said Sir Bleoberis, seizing the -rope and clambering up the wall until he reached -the window.</p> - -<p>Day began to dawn as he disappeared in the -room. The Professor started his fire afresh and -shut the furnace-door. Sir Bleoberis, he knew, -would bring down Ysolt without delay.</p> - -<p>A moment later, the Knight seated himself upon -the stone sill of the window and caught the rope -with his feet and one of his hands. Then he placed -his arm about Ysolt, lifted her out and began to -descend.</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin, even in his condition of intense -anxiety, could not fail to admire the splendid physical -strength of the Knight. When the pair were<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">90</span> -about half-way down, the rope broke, and Ysolt and -Sir Bleoberis were plunged into the lake.</p> - -<p>The Professor, excited as he was by the accident, -remembered the boiler, and determined that -he would have to blow off steam and take the consequences; -so he threw open the valve, and instantly -the castle walls sent the fierce sound out -over the waters.</p> - -<p>Sir Bleoberis, with Ysolt upon his arm, managed -to swim to the side of the boat, and the Professor -after a severe effort lifted her in. Then he gave -his hand to the Knight, and as Sir Bleoberis’s foot -touched the side the Professor shut off steam, -opened his throttle-valve, backed the boat away -from the wall, and started for the shore.</p> - -<p>It was now daylight. As the boat turned the -corner of the wall, it almost came into collision -with a boat in which, with ten oarsmen, sat Sir -Dagonet. The inmates of the castle had been -alarmed by the performances of the Professor’s -escape-pipe; and Sir Dagonet had come out to -ascertain the cause of the extraordinary noise.</p> - -<p>The Professor’s presence of mind was perfect. -Turning his boat quickly to the right, he gave the -engine a full head of steam and shot away before -Sir Dagonet’s boat could stop its headway.</p> - -<p>Sir Dagonet had perceived Ysolt, and recognized -Sir Bleoberis. White with rage he screamed to -them to stop, and he hurled at them terrible threats<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">91</span> -of vengeance if he should overtake them. As no -heed was given to him he urged his rowers to put -forth their mightiest efforts, and soon his boat was -in hot pursuit of that in which the maiden, the -Knight, and the Professor fled away from him.</p> - -<p>By some means the people of the town of Callion -had had their attention drawn to the proceedings at -the castle, and now the shore was lined with spectators -who watched with eager interest the race between -Sir Dagonet’s boat and the wonderful craft -which had neither oars nor sails, and which sent a -long streamer of smoke from out its chimney.</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin, positively determined not to -wed the daughter of Prince Sagramor, had prepared -a stratagem. He had sent three horses to the side -of the lake opposite to the town, and three or four -miles distant from it, with the intention of landing -there, and hurrying with Ysolt and Sir Bleoberis to -the home of Baron Bors, without the knowledge of -the Prince.</p> - -<p>The daylight interfered, to some extent, with the -promise of the plan, but Professor Baffin resolved -to carry it out at any rate, taking what he considered -to be the tolerably good chances of success. He -turned the prow of his boat directly toward the -town, making as if he would go thither. The pursuers -followed fast, and as the Professor perceived -that he could easily outstrip them, he slowed his -engine somewhat, permitting Sir Dagonet to gain -upon him.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">92</span> -When he was within a few hundred yards of the -shore, close enough indeed, for him to perceive -that the King, Prince Sagramor, Bragwaine, and -all the attendants of the court were among those -who watched the race with excited interest, the -Professor suddenly turned his boat half around, and -putting the engine at its highest speed, ploughed -swiftly toward the opposite shore.</p> - -<p>A mighty shout went up from the onlookers. -Manifestly the fugitives had the sympathy of the -crowd.</p> - -<p>The oarsmen of Sir Dagonet worked right valiantly -to win the chase, but the steamer gained constantly -upon them; and when her keel grated upon -the sand, close by where the horses stood, the -pursuers were at least a third of a mile behind.</p> - -<p>Sir Bleoberis sprang from the boat, and helped -Ysolt to alight. The Professor stopped to make -the fire in the furnace more brisk, and to tie down -the safety valve; then hurrying after Sir Bleoberis -and Ysolt, the three mounted their horses and -galloped away.</p> - -<p>In a few moments they reached the top of a hill -which commanded a view of the lake. They stopped -and looked back. Sir Dagonet had just touched -the shore, but, as he had no horse, further pursuit -was useless. So, shaking his fist at the distant -party, he turned away with an affectation of contempt, -and entered the Professor’s boat to satisfy -his curiosity respecting it.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">93</span> -“Let him be careful how he meddles with that,” -said the Professor.</p> - -<p>As he spoke, the boat was torn to fragments. -Sir Dagonet and two of his men were seen to fall, -and a second afterwards the dull, heavy detonation -of an explosion reached the ears of the Professor -and his friends.</p> - -<p>“It is dreadful,” said the Professor with a sigh, -“but self-preservation is the first law of nature, -and then he had no right to run away with Ysolt, -at any rate.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">94</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER IV.<br /> - -<span class="subhead">HOW THE PROFESSOR WENT HOME.</span></h3> -</div> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_094.png" width="66" height="68" alt="T" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword in02">The</span> three friends turned their horses’ heads -away from the lake, and pressed swiftly -along the road.</p> - -<p>“It is necessary,” said Professor Baffin, “that -we should make good speed, for Prince Sagramor -saw us come to this side of the lake, and if he shall -suspect our design no doubt he will at once pursue -us, in behalf of that abominable girl, his daughter.”</p> - -<p>The journey was made in silence during most of -the time, for the hard riding rendered conversation -exceedingly difficult, but whenever the party -reached the crest of a hill which commanded a -view of the road in the rear, the Professor looked -anxiously behind him to ascertain if anybody was -giving chase. When within a mile or two of -Lonazep, he did at last perceive what appeared -to be a group of horsemen at some distance behind -him, and although he felt by no means certain that -the Prince was among them, he nervously urged<span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">95</span> -his companions forward, spurring, meantime, his -own horse furiously, in the hope that he might -reach the castle of Baron Bors ere he should be -overtaken.</p> - -<p>As the party came within sight of the castle, -they could hear the hoofs of the horses of the pursuers, -and soon their ears were assailed by cries, -demanding that they should stop. It was, indeed, -Prince Sagramor and his knights, who were following -fast. The Professor galloped more furiously -than ever when he ascertained the truth, and Sir -Bleoberis and Ysolt kept pace with him.</p> - -<p>Just as they reached the drawbridge, however, -they were overtaken; and, as it was raised, they -were compelled to stop and meet the Prince face to -face. The Professor hurriedly called to the warder -to lower the bridge, so that Ysolt could take refuge -in the castle. Then he turned, and determined to -make the best of the situation. The Prince was -disposed to be conciliatory.</p> - -<p>“We came,” he said, “to escort you back again. -We have a guard of honor here fitting for any -bridegroom.”</p> - -<p>“You are uncommonly kind,” replied the Professor, -“but the parade is rather unnecessary. I -am not going back just at present.”</p> - -<p>“I promised Bragwaine that you would return -with us,” said the Prince, sternly.</p> - -<p>“Well, you ought not to make rash promises,” -replied the Professor, with firmness.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">96</span> -“You will go, of course?”</p> - -<p>“Of course I will not go.”</p> - -<p>“Bragwaine is waiting for you.”</p> - -<p>“That,” said the Professor, “is a matter of perfect -indifference to me.”</p> - -<p>“I will not be trifled with, sir,” said the Prince, -angrily.</p> - -<p>“Nor will I,” exclaimed the Professor. “Let us -understand one another. I do not wish to marry -any one. I did not ask your daughter to marry -me, and I have never consented to the union. I -tell you now that I positively and absolutely refuse -to be forced to marry her or any other woman. I -will do as I please about it; not as you please.”</p> - -<p>“Seize him,” shrieked the Prince to his attendants.</p> - -<p>“Stand off,” said the Professor, presenting his -revolver. “I’ll kill the man who approaches me. -I shall put up with this foolishness no longer.”</p> - -<p>One of the knights rode toward him. The Professor -fired, and the cavalier’s horse rolled in the -dust. The Prince and his people were stupefied -with astonishment.</p> - -<p>At this juncture, Baron Bors, Sir Dinadan, Sir -Agravaine, Sir Bleoberis, and Miss Baffin emerged -from the castle. Miss Baffin flew to her father, -and flung her arms about him. The Professor -kissed her tenderly, and as he did so, his eye -caught sight of the wire of the telephone which he -had arranged for Ysolt and Sir Bleoberis. A<span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">97</span> -happy thought struck him. Advancing, he said to -the Prince:</p> - -<p>“It is useless for us to quarrel over this matter. -Baron Bors has here an oracle. Let us consult -that.”</p> - -<p>Then the Professor whispered something to Miss -Baffin, who withdrew unobserved and went into -the castle.</p> - -<p>The Prince was at first indisposed to condescend -to accept the offer, but his curiosity finally -overcame his pride.</p> - -<p>“Step this way,” said the Professor. “Ask your -questions through this,” handing him the mouthpiece, -“and put this to your ear for the answer.”</p> - -<p>“What shall I say?” inquired the Prince.</p> - -<p>“Ask if it is right that I should marry your -daughter.”</p> - -<p>The Prince put the question, and the answer -came.</p> - -<p>“What does the oracle say?” asked the Professor.</p> - -<p>“It says you shall not,” replied the Prince, looking -a good deal scared.</p> - -<p>“Are you satisfied?” said the Professor.</p> - -<p>The Prince did not answer, but he looked as if -he suspected a trick of some kind, and would like -to impale Professor Baffin with his lance, if he -dared.</p> - -<p>He was about to turn away in disgust, when Sir<span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">98</span> -Agravaine, who stood beside him, in a few half-whispered -words explained to him the method by -which the Professor had imposed upon him.</p> - -<p>In a raging fury, the Prince rode up to the Professor, -and would have assailed him; but Baron -Bors advanced and said:</p> - -<p>“This gentleman is unarmed, and unused to our -methods of combat. He is my guest, and he has -saved my daughter. I will fight his battles.”</p> - -<p>The Prince threw his glove at the Baron’s feet. -Baron Bors called for his armor and his horse, and -when he was ready he took his place opposite to -his antagonist, and waited the signal for the -contest.</p> - -<p>“This,” said the Professor, “is probably the -most asinine proceeding upon record. Because I -won’t marry Sagramor’s daughter, Sagramor is -going to fight with a man who never saw his -daughter.”</p> - -<div id="ip_98" class="figcenter" style="max-width: 25em;"> - <img src="images/i_098.jpg" width="399" height="604" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><span class="smcap">At the first Shock both Knights were Unhorsed.</span></div></div> - -<p>The combat was not a long one. At the first -shock both knights were unhorsed; but, drawing -their swords, they rushed together and hacked at -each other until the sparks flew in showers from -their armor.</p> - -<p>The Baron fought well, but presently the -Prince’s sword struck his shoulder with a blow -which carried the blade down through the steel -plate, and caused the blood to spurt forth. The -Baron fell to the earth; and Prince Sagramor,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">99</span> -remembering the small number of his attendants, -and the probability that he might be assailed by -the Baron’s people, mounted his horse and slowly -trotted away without deigning to look at Professor -Baffin. They carried the Baron tenderly into the -castle, and put him to bed. The wound was a terrible -one, and the Professor perceived that the chances -of his recovery, under the rude medical treatment -that could be obtained, were not very favorable. -After doing what he could to help the sufferer, he -withdrew from the room, and left the Baron with -Lady Bors and the medical practitioner who was -ordinarily employed by the family.</p> - -<p>Miss Baffin, with Sir Dinadan, awaited her father -in the hall. This was the first opportunity he had -had to greet her. After some preliminary conversation, -and after the Professor had expressed to Sir -Dinadan his regret that the Baron should have -been injured, the Professor said:</p> - -<p>“And now, Tilly, my love, how have you been -employing yourself during my absence?”</p> - -<p>Miss Baffin blushed.</p> - -<p>“Have you kept the journal regularly?” asked -the Professor.</p> - -<p>“Not so <em>very</em> regularly,” replied Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“I have a number of interesting and extraordinary -things for you to record,” said the Professor. -“Has nothing of a remarkable character happened -here during my absence?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">100</span> -“Oh, yes,” said Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“I have learned to smoke,” said Sir Dinadan.</p> - -<p>“Indeed,” said the Professor with a slight pang. -“And how many cigars have you smoked?”</p> - -<p>“Only one,” replied the Knight. “It made me -ill for two days. I think, perhaps, I shall give up -smoking.”</p> - -<p>“I would advise you to. It is a bad habit,” said -the Professor, “and expensive. And then, you -know, cigars are so dreadfully scarce, too.”</p> - -<p>“The Lady Tilly was very kind to me while I -was ill. I believe I was delirious once or twice; -and I was so touched by her sweet patience that I -again proposed to her.”</p> - -<p>“While you were delirious?” asked the Professor.</p> - -<p>“Oh, no; when I had recovered.”</p> - -<p>“What did you say to that, Tilly?” asked Professor -Baffin.</p> - -<p>“I referred him to you,” replied Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“But what will the Baron say?” asked the -Professor.</p> - -<p>“He and my mother have given their consent,” -said Sir Dinadan. “They declared that I could -not have pleased them better than by making such -a choice.”</p> - -<p>“Well, I don’t know,” said the Professor, reflectively. -“I like you first-rate, and if I felt certain -we were going to stay here—”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">101</span> -“I will go with you if you leave the island,” said -Sir Dinadan, eagerly.</p> - -<p>“And then you know, Din,” continued the Professor -familiarly, “Tilly is highly educated, while -you—Well, you know you must learn to read, and -write, and cipher, the very first thing.”</p> - -<p>“I have been giving him lessons while you were -away,” said Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>“How does he get along?”</p> - -<p>“Quite well. He can do short division with a -little help, and he has learned as far as the eighth -line in the multiplication table.”</p> - -<p>“Eight eights are sixty-four, eight nines are -seventy-two, eight tens are eighty,” said Sir Dinadan, -triumphantly.</p> - -<p>“Well,” said the Professor, “if Tilly loves you, -and you love Tilly, I shall make no objection.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, thank you,” exclaimed both of the lovers.</p> - -<p>“But, I tell you what, Din, you are getting a -good bargain. There is no finer girl, or a smarter -one either, on the globe. You people here cannot -half appreciate her.”</p> - -<p>For more than a week, Baron Bors failed to -show any signs of improvement, and the Professor -thought he perceived clearly that his case was fast -getting beyond hope. He deemed it prudent, however, -to keep his opinion from the members of -the Baron’s family. But the Baron himself soon -reached the same conclusion, and one day Lady<span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">102</span> -Bors came out of his room to summon Sir Dinadan, -Ysolt, Sir Bleoberis, who was now formally -betrothed to Ysolt, and the Professor, to the -Baron’s bedside.</p> - -<p>The Baron said to them, in a feeble voice, that -he felt his end approaching, and that he desired to -give some instructions, and to say farewell to his -family. Then he addressed himself first to Sir -Dinadan, and next to Ysolt. When he had finished -speaking to them he said to Lady <span class="locked">Bors,—</span></p> - -<p>“And now, Ettard, a final word to you. I am -going away, and you will need another friend, -protector, companion, husband. Have you ever -thought of any one whom you should like, other -than me?”</p> - -<p>“Never, never, never,” said Lady Bors, sobbing.</p> - -<p>“Let me advise you, then. Who would be more -likely to fill my place in your heart acceptably than -our good and wise and wonderful friend Sir Baffin?”</p> - -<p>“Good gracious!” exclaimed the Professor with -a start.</p> - -<p>“Your son is to marry his daughter; and she -will be happy to be here with him in the castle. -Promise me that you will try to love him.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, I will try,” said Lady Bors, wiping her -eyes and seeming, upon the whole, rather more -cheerful.</p> - -<p>“That,” said the Baron, “does not altogether<span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">103</span> -satisfy me. I place upon you my command that -you shall marry him. Will you consent to obey?”</p> - -<p>“I will consent to anything, so that your last -hour may be happier,” said Lady Bors with an air -of resignation. She was supported during the -trial, perhaps, by the reflection that in dealing with -lumbago Professor Baffin had no superior in the -kingdom.</p> - -<p>Father Anselm was announced. “Withdraw, -now,” said the Baron to all of his family but Lady -Bors. “I must speak with the Hermit.”</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin encountered the Hermit at the -door. The holy man stopped long enough to say -that a huge ship had come near to the shore upon -which the Professor had landed, and that it was -anchored there. From its mast, Father Anselm -said, fluttered a banner of red and white stripes -with a starry field of blue.</p> - -<p>The Professor’s heart beat fast. For a moment -he could hardly control his emotion. He resolved -to go at once to the shore and to take his daughter -with him. Withdrawing her from her companions -the two strolled slowly out from the castle into the -park. Then, hastening their steps, they passed -towards the shore. In a few moments they -reached it, and there, sure enough, they saw a -barque at anchor, while from her mast-head floated -the American flag.</p> - -<p>A boat belonging to the barque had come to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">104</span> -the shore to obtain water from the stream. Professor -Baffin entered into conversation with the -officer who commanded the boat. The vessel -proved to be the <i>Mary L. Simpson</i>, of Martha’s -Vineyard, bound from the Azores to New York. -When the Professor had explained to the officer -that he and his daughter were Americans, the -mate invited them to come aboard so that he could -introduce them to the captain.</p> - -<p>“Shall we go, my child?” asked the Professor.</p> - -<p>“If we can return in a very few moments, we -might go,” said Miss Baffin.</p> - -<p>They entered the boat, and when they reached -the vessel, they were warmly greeted by Captain -Magruder.</p> - -<p>While they were talking with him in his cabin -the air suddenly darkened, and the captain rushed -out upon deck. Almost before he reached it a -terrific gale struck the barque, and she began to -drag her anchors. Fortunately the wind blew off -shore, and the captain, weighing anchor, let the -barque drive right out to sea. The Professor was -about to remark to Miss Baffin that he feared there -was small chance of his ever seeing the island -again, when a lurch of the vessel threw him over. -His head struck the sharp corner of the captain’s -chest, and he became unconscious.</p> - -<p>When Professor Baffin regained his senses, he -found that he was lying in a berth in a ship’s cabin. -Some one was sitting beside <span class="locked">him,—</span></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">105</span> -“Is that you, Tilly?” he asked, in a faint voice.</p> - -<p>“Yes, pa; I am glad you are conscious again. -Can I give you anything?”</p> - -<p>“Have I been long unconscious, Tilly?”</p> - -<p>“You have been very ill for several days; delirious -sometimes.”</p> - -<p>“Is the captain going back to the island?”</p> - -<p>“Going back to the <em>what</em>, pa?”</p> - -<p>“To the Island. It must have seemed dreadfully -heartless for us to leave the castle while the -Baron was dying.”</p> - -<p>“While the Baron was dying! What do you -mean?”</p> - -<p>“Why, Baron Bors could not have lived much -longer. I am afraid Sir Dinadan will think hard -of us.”</p> - -<p>“I haven’t the least idea what you are talking -about. Poor pa! your mind is beginning to wander -again. Turn over, and try to go to sleep.”</p> - -<p>Professor Baffin was silent for a moment. Then -he <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Tilly, do you mean to say you never heard of -Baron Bors?”</p> - -<p>“Never.”</p> - -<p>“And that you were never engaged to Sir Dinadan?”</p> - -<p>“Pa, how absurd! Who are these people?”</p> - -<p>“Were you not upon the island with me, at the -castle?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">106</span> -“How could we have gone upon an island, pa, -when we were taken from the raft by the ship?”</p> - -<p>“Tilly, my child, when I get perfectly well I -shall have to tell you of the most extraordinary -series of circumstances that has come under my -observation during the whole course of my existence!”</p> - -<p>Then Professor Baffin closed his eyes and fell -into a doze, and Miss Baffin went up to tell the -surgeon of the ship <i>Undine</i>, from Philadelphia to -Glasgow, that her father seemed to be getting -better.</p> - -<hr /> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">107</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 id="THE_CITY_OF_BURLESQUE">THE CITY OF BURLESQUE:<br /> - -<span class="subhead">An Account of some of the Inhabitants Thereof.</span></h2> -</div> - -<h3>CHAPTER I.</h3> - -<blockquote> - -<p class="center">THE COWDRICKS.—A CONJUGAL CHAT.—LEONIE.—A -RISING ARTIST.—A PROPOSAL.—SWEETHEARTS.</p></blockquote> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_107.png" width="66" height="68" alt="O" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword">Occupying</span> a very comfortable position in -an easy-chair, Mr. Cowdrick, banker, sat -in his library before a blazing fire.</p> - -<p>The Fate that arranges coincidences, and provides -for the fitness of things, could not have -persuaded Mr. Cowdrick to choose a more characteristic -method of warming himself; for it was a -sham fire. Some skilful worker in clay had produced -a counterfeit presentment of a heap of logs, -with the bark, the bits of moss, the knots, and the -drops of sap exuding from the ends, all admirably -imitative of nature. But the logs were hollow, and -a hidden pipe, upon occasion, filled them with gas, -which, as it escaped through imperceptible holes, -was ignited, to burn as though it fed upon the -inconsumable logs.</p> - -<p>The library room was handsomely decorated in -accordance with the prevailing modes. Upon the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">108</span> -wall were fastened porcelain plates, bearing beautiful -designs, but wholly useless for the purpose for -which plates were originally devised. Mr. Cowdrick -realized that as a mere matter of reason it -would be as sensible to put a fireplace in the ceiling, -or to cover his library table with the door-mat, -as to adorn his wall with a dinner-plate; but, like -some of the rest of us Mr. Cowdrick surrendered -his private convictions to the suggestions of -fashion.</p> - -<p>Upon Mr. Cowdrick’s shelves and mantels were -cups and saucers of curious wares, which were to -be looked at and not used; and in his cabinets -were jugs and bottles, which existed that they -might contribute to the pleasure of the eye rather -than to the pleasure of the palate. The bookcases, -made with the best art of the workman, after -the most approved designs, were filled with richly-bound -volumes, into which Mr. Cowdrick had -never cared to look since he bought them by the -cubic foot; and which, in some instances, considered -themes which would not have interested -the banker in the slightest degree, even if he had -examined them, and had been gifted with the capacity -to comprehend them.</p> - -<p>Upon the mantel ticked a clock, so fine that it -had to be kept under glass, and which had never -been known to indicate the time correctly during -twenty-four consecutive hours. The chairs and the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">109</span> -sofas were made of material so costly that Mrs. -Cowdrick had them draped continually in closely-fitting -brown-linen covers, so that, in fact, it was -somewhat difficult to comprehend why the expensive -and delicate fabrics beneath should have -been employed at all, seeing that they were perpetually -doomed to hide their loveliness.</p> - -<p>Mr. Cowdrick sat looking at the deceitful fire in -front of him, and as he mused he smoked an excellent -cigar. His reverie was presently disturbed -by the entrance of Mrs. Cowdrick to the room. -Mrs. Cowdrick was a woman in middle life, of -rounded figure and pleasing face; and she was -clad, at this moment, in rich and tasteful dress. -She held in her hand a bit of canvas, upon which -she was working, in worsted, a pattern which was -intended to convey to the observer the impression -that it was of Japanese origin; but really it was as -great a sham as Mr. Cowdrick’s fire.</p> - -<p>Mrs. Cowdrick drew a chair near to that of her -husband. Her first act, when she had taken her -seat, was to clap her hands vigorously together -two or three times, in ineffectual efforts to catch -and to crush a fluttering moth-fly.</p> - -<p>This is a form of exercise that is very dear to the -female heart, but rarely is it productive of any -practical results. Calculated in horse-powers, it -may fairly be estimated that the amount of force -expended annually by the sex upon the work of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">110</span> -annihilating moth-flies would be sufficient to raise -one pound two hundred thousand feet high, if -any one cared to have a pound at such an -elevation; while it is probable that the number of -moth-flies actually taken upon the wing within the -boundaries of civilization, does not in any one year -exceed a few hundreds.</p> - -<p>When she had concluded her efforts, without at -all injuring the insect, Mrs. Cowdrick resumed her -worsted attempt to insult Japanese art, and, as she -did so, Mr. Cowdrick, turning his head about -lazily, as he sent a whiff of smoke into the air, <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Annie, dear, where is Leonie?”</p> - -<p>“She is in her room, I think,” replied Mrs. Cowdrick, -pleasantly. “She will be down in a few -moments.”</p> - -<p>“I wish to have a little talk with you about her, -my love,” said Mr. Cowdrick. “I have been thinking -that it is high time Leonie had found a husband. -Let me see; how old is she now?”</p> - -<p>“In her twenty-ninth year, really,” replied Mrs. -Cowdrick; “but then, you know, she does not -acknowledge more than twenty-five years to her -friends. Leonie is an exceedingly prudent girl.”</p> - -<p>“But, of course,” remarked Mr. Cowdrick, “she -cannot keep that up forever. As she grows older -she will have to allow a year or two, every now and -then; and, after a while, you know, people will -begin to count for themselves.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">111</span> -“I have urged that upon her,” said Mrs. Cowdrick, -“and I think she fully realizes it. Her hair -is becoming thinner every week, and there would -be no hope of her hiding the truth if the fashion -did not permit her easily to cover the bald place -upon the top of her head.”</p> - -<p>“She is no longer the young girl she once was,” -said Mr. Cowdrick with an air of sadness which -seemed to indicate his disappointment at the refusal -of Time to make an exception in the case of -Leonie.</p> - -<p>“No,” said Mrs. Cowdrick; “she is beginning to -ascertain that she has nerves, and she has to take -iron every morning. At the pic-nic in September -she tried to appear as girlish as she could; but I -noticed, while she was skipping the rope with those -little chits of Mrs. Parker’s, that she would catch -her breath convulsively every time she went up; -and you know she was in bed with lumbago for -three days afterward.”</p> - -<p>“She must marry,” said Mr. Cowdrick, with -emphasis. “The case is getting desperate. I will -speak to her about it to-night. I wish her, before -I quit home, to have herself engaged to some one -who is able to support her handsomely.”</p> - -<p>“How soon will it be necessary for you to fly?” -asked Mrs. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“Before the end of next week, at the very latest. -Matters are fast approaching a crisis at the bank.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">112</span> -We might have pulled through after the failure of -Snell and Adam, to whom, as one of the directors -was a partner, we lent a large sum upon bogus -collateral; and I did not despair even when Pinyard, -Moon and Company, with whom I had a -silent interest, went under just after obtaining that -last hundred thousand of us; but I heard to-day -that J. P. Hunn and Co. are very much embarrassed, -and as we have hypothecated some good -collaterals deposited with us by our best customers -in order to keep Hunn on his legs, his failure -will inevitably result in the exposure of the whole -business.”</p> - -<p>“And how much, dear, is the bank short?” asked -Mrs. Cowdrick, kindly.</p> - -<p>“A full million and a quarter at the lowest estimate. -We can’t tell exactly, because the accounts -have been so much falsified to hide the deficiency. -But the capital has gone, and with it the bulk of -the money belonging to the depositors; and as I -say, a whole lot of collateral securities, placed in -our hands by some of the best men in town. It’s -a bad business! They will make it hot for us, I -am afraid.”</p> - -<p>“But then, dear, you will save something from -the wreck, you said?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes! Pinyard told me that he thought he -and I would come out with two or three hundred -thousand apiece, if we can manage the creditors of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">113</span> -his firm so that they will take twenty-five per cent. -of their claims in settlement. That, however, is -only a possibility.”</p> - -<p>“If the crash is coming so soon,” said Mrs. Cowdrick, -with a thoughtful air, “there are some little -things I should like to get at once.”</p> - -<p>“What are they?”</p> - -<p>“Why, you know, Henry, I want a sealskin -sacque for this winter, and I had thought of buying -a pair of plain diamond earrings. Couldn’t I get -them, say to-morrow, and have them charged, and -then let the dealers just come in with the rest of -your creditors when you arrange a settlement?”</p> - -<p>“Certainly, my love! get them immediately, of -course. It is your last chance. I have not yet -gotten into such a position that I cannot provide -comforts for my family! Tell Leonie to make any -little purchases she may need, also. I might as -well go to ruin for a large amount as for a small -one. A few hundreds more or less will not matter.”</p> - -<p>As Mr. Cowdrick spoke, Leonie entered the -room. She was elegantly and fashionably dressed, -and her face was wreathed with smiles. She ran -up to her father as a child might have done, and -with a girlish laugh kissed him; then, drawing a -footstool close to him, she sat down beside him and -placed her arm upon his knee. Mr. Cowdrick -stroked her head affectionately, with a tenderness<span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">114</span> -that was partly induced by fondness and partly by -a recollection of what Mrs. Cowdrick had said of -Leonie’s method of disguising the bare place upon -her crown.</p> - -<p>After reflecting for a moment in silence, Mr. -Cowdrick <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“I want to ask my little girl if she has lost her -heart to any one yet?”</p> - -<p>Leonie blushed, and straightening herself up she -said nervously, but with traces of a smile about her -<span class="locked">lips,—</span></p> - -<p>“Lost my heart, papa! What do you mean?”</p> - -<p>“I mean, my dear child, that it is high time you -had obtained a husband and settled yourself for -life. It is important you should marry as speedily -as possible.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, papa!” said Leonie, hiding her face in her -hands.</p> - -<p>“To speak plainly, darling,” said Mr. Cowdrick, -“your poor father’s affairs are in such a condition -that a judicious matrimonial alliance is almost necessary -to your future happiness. You understand me, -of course; I am not at all sure of my financial future.”</p> - -<p>“I am very sorry,” said Leonie.</p> - -<p>“Of course you are,” replied Mr. Cowdrick, “but -being sorry is not enough. I should bear the calamity, -when it comes, much more bravely if I were -assured that my dear child had a good and affluent -husband to console her amid the troubles that will<span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">115</span> -befall her family. Is there no one to whom you -could give your affection if you tried? If you tried -right hard, just to please your poor old papa?”</p> - -<p>Leonie hesitated before answering, and then she -<span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Yes, papa, there is!”</p> - -<p>“I am glad to hear that! Who is it, darling?”</p> - -<p>“You will not be angry with me, papa, if I tell -you, will you? I <em>have</em> given my love to some -one, and that some one is—is—Mr. Weems, the -artist!”</p> - -<p>“What!” exclaimed Mr. Cowdrick, in a voice -that indicated mingled surprise and indignation. -“Not Julius Weems, the painter?”</p> - -<p>“You don’t mean to say you are actually engaged -to be married to that young man?” said -Mrs. Cowdrick, vehemently.</p> - -<p>“Yes, I am engaged to him,” said Leonie, putting -her forehead down upon the arm of her father’s -chair. “He proposed to me on Tuesday, while -you were at the opera.”</p> - -<p>“And you love him?” asked Mr. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes,” replied Leonie, “I love him; of course -I love him, or I never would have accepted him. -But I don’t mean to say, positively and finally, that -I would refuse a better chance if it presented itself. -Julius is the only person who seems likely to want -me, and certainly he is a great deal better than nobody.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">116</span> -“Yes; but, my dear child,” observed Mr. Cowdrick, -“a mere husband is nothing. The circumstances -of the husband are everything.”</p> - -<p>“And Mr. Weems is poor as poverty,” added -Mrs. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“Oh, no, mamma, you are mistaken,” said -Leonie. “Julius is in very comfortable circumstances. -He has a very profitable business.”</p> - -<p>“He has, has he?” said Mr. Cowdrick. “Well, -I can’t imagine where it can be. I never have -seen any of his pictures.”</p> - -<p>“Why, papa,” rejoined Leonie with a slight -laugh. “Julius says that you have two of his -best works in your gallery.”</p> - -<p>“I have,” exclaimed Mr. Cowdrick, in astonishment. -“I think not.”</p> - -<p>“He says so, at any rate.”</p> - -<p>“Which are they?”</p> - -<p>“Why, the ‘Leader and the Swan,’ by Correggio, -and the ‘St. Lawrence,’ by Titian.”</p> - -<p>“Leonie, that is ridiculous,” said Mr. Cowdrick, -warmly.</p> - -<p>“Perfectly absurd,” remarked Mrs. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“But Julius declares he really did paint them. -He says he paints nothing but ‘old masters’; that -they bring the best prices, and that there is always -an active demand for them. He wants me to -come to his studio to see a splendid Murillo he -has just finished. He is making money rapidly.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">117</span> -“In that case, Leonie,” said Mr. Cowdrick, with -a slight touch of bitterness, as he thought of the -prices he had paid for his Correggio and his Titian, -but with a certain cheerfulness, gained from his -suddenly formed resolution to realize on them to-morrow—“in -that case, we must regard Mr. -Weems differently. He appears at least to be an -enterprising young man, and possibly he may do -well.”</p> - -<p>“You had better arrange to see him at once, -dear,” said Mrs. Cowdrick, “so that you can ascertain -what his income is, and how soon the wedding -can be arranged.”</p> - -<p>“I will do so,” replied Mr. Cowdrick. “But my -child, did you tell him anything? Does he know -that you have already been engaged three times? -Does he know that you were affianced to old Mr. -Baxter, who gained your affection under the pretence -that he was a millionaire, only to tread upon -the holiest of your emotions with the scandalous -revelation that he was living upon a paltry pension?”</p> - -<p>“No, papa, I did not think it worth while to -disturb Julius with such matters as that. What -does he care for my past? No more than I care -for his!”</p> - -<p>“Do you think he suspects your age, dear?” -asked Mrs. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“I am certain he does not. You know I falsified<span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">118</span> -the date in the family Bible, and last evening I -got him to look over it with me, under pretense of -searching for a text. When I showed him the -record, laughingly, he pretended to be surprised. -He said he should never have supposed me to be a -day over twenty-three.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Cowdrick slowly winked that one of his eyes -which was upon the side towards his wife, and then -he <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Well, Leonie, we will see about it. There are -some things about the match to recommend it, -although I cannot say Weems is precisely the -man I should have chosen for you. However, you -are the person who is most deeply interested, and -I suppose we must let you choose for yourself. I -wish you would ask Mr. Weems to call to see me -to-morrow evening concerning the matter.”</p> - -<p>“He will be here to-night, papa,” replied Leonie. -“He said he would call to make a formal proposal -for my hand.”</p> - -<p>“Very well; that will do nicely. The sooner -we reach a distinct understanding, the better.”</p> - -<p>Before many moments had elapsed, Mr. Julius -Weems was announced by the servant, whereupon -Mrs. Cowdrick and Leonie withdrew. When Mr. -Weems entered the room, Mr. Cowdrick greeted -him politely, but with dignified gravity. Mr. -Weems was somewhat nervous. Mr. Cowdrick -clearly perceived that he had reduced himself to a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">119</span> -condition of misery with a resolution to obtain, if -possible during this visit, the paternal blessing upon -his proposed alliance with Leonie.</p> - -<p>The current theory is that the most difficult of -the processes by which the state of marriage is approached, -is the first declaration of affection to the -object of it; and it may be possible that most men, -upon reviewing their conduct upon such occasions, -are inclined to believe that they made fools of -themselves. But, as a matter of fact, it is nearly -certain that those who make a careful survey of -their experiences will be likely to admit that the -most trying ordeal through which the lover is compelled -to go is that of ascertaining what opinion of -the matter is held by the father of his sweetheart. -If there is a reasonable certainty that the loved one -will accept him, he is at least sure of the most acute -and delicious sympathy when he summons up -courage enough to take her little hand in his and -to give voice to his feelings; and the difference of -sex enables the performance to assume the most -romantic aspect. But to face a cold, practical man -of the world with a lot of sentiment, and to plunge -boldly into an explanation to him of a fervid passion -which he regards in the prosiest fashion possible, -requires bravery of a very high order. And the -man who can approach such a task with perfect -self-possession, and positive command of his mental -faculties and of his utterance, has a nervous system -that ordinary men may envy.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">120</span> -For a moment after Mr. Weems seated himself -upon the other side of the fireplace from Mr. Cowdrick, -there was an embarrassing silence. Then -Mr. Cowdrick, to open the way for his visitor, remarked -that it had been a very disagreeable day.</p> - -<p>“Very,” said Mr. Weems. “Uncommonly damp -and chilly, even for this time of year.”</p> - -<p>“Yesterday was far from pleasant also,” observed -Mr. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“Wasn’t it abominable?” replied Mr. Weems. -“There will be a great deal of sickness if this kind -of weather continues.”</p> - -<p>“The prospect,” rejoined Mr. Cowdrick, “is that -it will. There are no signs of a clear day to-morrow.”</p> - -<p>“I’m afraid not,” returned Mr. Weems.</p> - -<p>Then Mr. Cowdrick looked into the fire, and -relapsed into silence. The weather of the past, -the present, and the future having been considered, -there really seemed to be nothing more to be said -upon that particular topic. It would be curious to -ascertain what men, who are in a stress for something -to talk about, fall back upon in those regions -where there is steadfast sunshine during half of -every year, and unremitting rain during the other -half.</p> - -<p>“How is Miss Leonie?” said Mr. Weems, suddenly, -and with an air of desperation.</p> - -<p>“Quite well, thank you,” answered Mr. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">121</span> -“Well, Mr. Cowdrick, I called this evening to -speak to you about her,” continued Weems, with a -determination to make the plunge and have it over.</p> - -<p>“Indeed!”</p> - -<p>“Yes, sir. In fact, Mr. Cowdrick, your daughter -has consented to become my wife, and I wish to -obtain, if I may, your approval of the match. May -I have it?”</p> - -<p>“Really, Mr. Weems, this is so unexpected. I -was so little prepared for such an announcement -that I hardly know what——. My answer would -depend somewhat upon circumstances, I may say, -I have no objection to you personally; but I know -nothing of your prospects in your profession.”</p> - -<p>“They are first-rate. I sold a picture to-day for -five thousand dollars; and that is by no means an -infrequent occurrence.”</p> - -<p>“Who bought it?”</p> - -<p>“St. Cadmus’s church. It is an altar piece; -very handsome and old; by Michael Angelo. You -see, I give you my secret; in confidence, of course.”</p> - -<p>“Yes,” said Mr. Cowdrick, “I am a regular -attendant at St. Cadmus’s and I was one of four -subscribers for that picture. The balance of the -amount we made up by mortgaging the organ. -Mr. Tunicle, the incumbent, said it was indisputably -genuine.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, well,” said Mr. Weems, laughing; “if it -looks like a genuine one, and everybody thinks it is<span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">122</span> -genuine, what difference is there? The people are -every bit as happy as if it were real. If one of my -pictures sells better with the name of some old -chap who has been dead for two or three centuries -tagged to it, why shouldn’t I let it go in that way? -It does not hurt him, and it helps me.”</p> - -<p>“From your point of view the theory is excellent; -but from mine, as the owner of a couple of -old masters, it looks a little thin.”</p> - -<p>“Well, to be fair,” said Mr. Weems, “I acknowledge -that I painted those you have, but I am willing -to find you a market for them, to oblige you; -or I will sell you two or three more, if you prefer -it. I have just run off a fine Salvator Rosa, and a -Titian, as kind of ‘pot-boilers,’ and you can have -them for almost nothing if you want them.”</p> - -<p>“Thank you, no,” said Mr. Cowdrick. “My -interest in art is gradually cooling off. And then, -besides, if you are going to turn out pictures every -time you want a suit of clothes, or a box of cigars, -it seems likely there will soon be a glut of old masters -in the market.”</p> - -<p>“But to come back to the point, Mr. Cowdrick,” -said Mr. Weems. “What may I accept as your -decision respecting my claim to your daughter’s -hand?”</p> - -<p>“Have you ever had an affair of this kind before, -Mr. Weems? Pardon me for asking. Is -Leonie your first love?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">123</span> -“Well, you know, every man does foolish things -in his youth. I have been involved in one or two -trifling matters of the sort. But I am a careful -man, and to avoid any unpleasant demonstrations -in the future, I have procured formal decrees of -divorce from eleven different girls; all, in fact, -with whom I have ever had any acquaintance that -was at all sentimental. I obtained six decrees -from the State of Indiana, at a cost of ten dollars -apiece, and the remainder from Utah, at a little -higher rate.”</p> - -<p>“And you were never married to any of the -parties?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, no! merely knew them; took them out -driving, or danced with them at balls. Some of -them are married to other men. But, you know, a -man is never certain what may happen; women -are so queer; and so I concluded to destroy all -the chances of anything turning up, and I have -the legal documents to show for it. Leonie’s happiness -is perfectly safe with me, I assure you.”</p> - -<p>“Your course seems to me a prudent one, at -any rate,” remarked Mr. Cowdrick; “but then, of -course, it is possible for a man to be a little too -far-sighted for the comfort of other people. How -do I know, for instance, that you haven’t taken -the precaution to file away among your papers a -divorce from Leonie?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, well,” said Mr. Weems, laughing, “you<span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">124</span> -know I wouldn’t go quite that far. I admit that -I have half a dozen blank decrees, which I can -fill up to meet emergencies, but I pledge you my -word of honor that I will never put her name in -one. I love her too dearly.”</p> - -<p>“Do you believe you would love her if she were -poor; or if she were to become poor?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, certainly; of course,” answered Mr. -Weems. And then he added mentally, “I wonder -if anything is the matter? I’ll inquire about the -old man’s financial standing the first thing in the -morning.”</p> - -<p>“Well,” said Mr. Cowdrick, “I hardly know. -Leonie is very dear to me. I have not contemplated -an early marriage for her. It would be a -terrible wrench upon my heartstrings. What -would you do if I refused my consent?”</p> - -<p>“Try to submit with what patience I could -command, I suppose. But you will not refuse, will -you?”</p> - -<p>Mr. Cowdrick did not respond at once. He had -rather cherished the hope that Weems would elope -with Leonie, and save him the expense of a wedding -outfit and of a wedding festival, besides relieving -him of all responsibility. But he saw now -that it would not be safe to take the chances.</p> - -<p>“Well, Mr. Weems,” he said, at length, “so far as -I am concerned, I think I may say that if Leonie -wishes to marry you, she can. But we must ask<span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">125</span> -her mother about it. It will be a terrible shock to -poor Mrs. Cowdrick. I will call her in.”</p> - -<p>When Mrs. Cowdrick entered the room with -Leonie, Mr. Cowdrick <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“My dear, Mr. Weems, here, has formally proposed -for the hand of Leonie, and I have given my -consent, provided you also would do so.”</p> - -<p>Mrs. Cowdrick replied by a shriek, after which -she flung herself into a chair, and, with an expensive -handkerchief to her face, she sobbed hysterically.</p> - -<p>“Ma is doing that to show how well she can -pose,” said Leonie, in a whisper to Weems. “She -used to be splendid in private theatricals.”</p> - -<p>Mrs. Cowdrick sprang up, and in tones of apparently -intense excitement she said,—“No, no! I -cannot let her go! It is impossible! It is so unexpected, -so sudden! My child, my poor, darling -child! To be torn ruthlessly from the arms of her -dear mother! I cannot bear it! It will kill me!” -and Mrs. Cowdrick flung her arms wildly about -Leonie and wept.</p> - -<p>Leonie seemed quite calm. She lowered her -shoulder slightly, to incline her mother’s head, so -that her tears would fall upon the floor instead of -upon her dress.</p> - -<p>Mr. Cowdrick comforted her, reasoned with her, -and showed her that, after all, Leonie’s happiness -was at stake. To promote her happiness, her parents<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">126</span> -must be willing to make some sacrifices, and -she must try to brace herself to meet the trial, hard -as it was. Mrs. Cowdrick’s agitation gradually decreased, -as her husband spoke; and when she had -rested upon the sofa for a moment, and helped her -nerves by inhaling salts from a gilded smelling-bottle, -she said:</p> - -<p>“If it must be, it must! Take her, Julius! Take -her, and love her, and cherish her, so that she will -never rue having been torn from the parental -nest!”</p> - -<p>“I promise you faithfully to do my best,” replied -Mr. Weems.</p> - -<p>“And now, my children,” said Mr. Cowdrick, as -his voice trembled with emotion, “I give you an -old man’s blessing! May you be happy in each -other’s love until life shall end!”</p> - -<p>Then Mr. Cowdrick wiped his eyes, and taking -Mrs. Cowdrick on his arm, they went upstairs to -discuss some method by which the marriage could -be celebrated before the crash came at the bank.</p> - -<p>“And you are mine at last, darling!” said Mr. -Weems, as he pushed his chair up close to Leonie’s -and took her hand in his.</p> - -<p>In reply she nestled her head up against his -shoulder, and her thoughts went out dreamily over -the past. Old Mr. Baxter and her two other lovers -had made precisely the same remark to her under -similar circumstances, and she had responded to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">127</span> -them in the same manner. Life is an endless -round of repetitions.</p> - -<p>“Sweet face!” said Mr. Weems, patting it tenderly, -as if he were a trifle uncertain of the permanent -nature of the color. “Did you know, darling, -that I put your face in one of my recent -pictures?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, Julius! Did you?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, dear, I gave it to my full length of St. -Ethelberta, by Rubens.”</p> - -<p>“Is it a good likeness?”</p> - -<p>“I think it is. But,” said Mr. Weems thoughtfully, -“it didn’t sell! That is, I mean, no person -of really good taste has inspected it yet.”</p> - -<p>“And you painted it because you loved me, did -you?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes! Certainly! Of course!”</p> - -<p>“How fortunate it was that I could return your -love, wasn’t it? Julius, what would you have done -if I had refused you?”</p> - -<p>“Done? Why, it would have mortified me dreadfully. -I don’t believe I should have had any appetite -for a week or more.”</p> - -<p>“Some disappointed lovers,” said Leonie almost -reproachfully, and with an air of chagrin, “become -utterly desperate and try to take their own lives.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, I know,” replied Mr. Weems. “Dreadful, -isn’t it? But I generally try to bear up under -misery. It’s a duty.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">128</span> -“Could you bear misery for my sake, Julius? -Do you think your love would endure if poverty -should overtake us? Bitter, blinding poverty?”</p> - -<p>“I am sure I could,” replied Mr. Weems with a -renewed determination to discover in the morning -if Mr. Cowdrick’s credit had been impaired.</p> - -<p>“You believe, then, that love in a cottage is a -possibility, do you, dear?” asked Leonie.</p> - -<p>“Yes, darling; possible, but not fascinating. -My observation is that love, upon the whole, has a -better chance in a commodious mansion with all of -the modern conveniences; with gas, water and a -boy to answer the front-door bell. Love, darling, is -like some other things in this world—it thrives -better when it is comfortable.”</p> - -<p>“Have you thought about our wedding, dear?” -asked Leonie. “Where will we go upon our wedding -journey? Wouldn’t it be splendid to take a -trip to Europe?”</p> - -<p>The suggestion did not seem to excite any great -amount of enthusiasm in the heart of Mr. Weems. -He said: “It would be very nice, but I am afraid -it would be almost too expensive, unless your pa—Did -your pa say anything about it?” asked Julius, -with a faint expectation that Mr. Cowdrick may -have intended to include a handsome cheque among -the presents.</p> - -<p>“No,” replied Leonie; “he said nothing. Only -I thought may-be you might want to go.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">129</span> -“So I do, my love, but business is a trifle dull -just now. I am afraid we shall have to wait until -the prevailing prejudice against Rubens and St. -Ethelberta blows over, as it were. I thought perhaps -we might make a short trip to Boston and -back. How would that suit you?”</p> - -<p>“I would be satisfied with it, dear, of course,” -said Leonie.</p> - -<p>Mr. Weems heard her answer with the serene -consciousness that he had a free pass for two over -that particular route, and that even upon a wedding -journey there would be no need to be actually -riotous in the matter of hotel expenses.</p> - -<p>“And when we get home, and settle down, may -I keep a parrot, Julius?”</p> - -<p>“Well,” replied Mr. Weems, “the question is -sudden and somewhat irrelevant, but I should think -you might; provided, of course, you selected one -that has not been taught to use profane language, -and to imitate a screeching wheelbarrow with too -great accuracy.”</p> - -<p>“You are so kind! And, Julius?”</p> - -<p>“What, sweet?”</p> - -<p>“If papa should die, could dear mamma come to -live with us?”</p> - -<p>“I’ll tell you what, Leonie, suppose we postpone -the consideration of some of these distressing contingencies -until they actually present themselves! -I am perfectly willing to wrestle with a grief when<span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">130</span> -it comes, but there is no use of putting crape on a -door-knocker until there is bereavement in the -family circle.”</p> - -<p>“That is true, dear. And, Julius?”</p> - -<p>“Well, my love?”</p> - -<p>“Whenever you can’t come to see me, will you -write to me? I want you to send me, at least once -every day, a dear, kind, affectionate letter, full of -love; won’t you, dear?”</p> - -<p>“I will, if you will promise faithfully to burn -them,” replied Julius, as his prudent mind grasped -the possibility of some unfortunate future misunderstanding, -in which ardent love-letters might have a -damaging effect upon the case of the defendant. -“That is, pretty nearly every day.”</p> - -<p>“Thus far,” continued Leonie, “I have kept all -that you have written. I have read them over, and -over, and over, and kissed them again and again. -The sweet verses you have sent to me I have -learned by heart.”</p> - -<p>“Have you, darling?” said Mr. Weems, with a -feeling of pride in his success as a poet.</p> - -<p>“Shall I repeat them to you?”</p> - -<p>“If you will, dearest,” replied Mr. Weems, with -the air of a man who was conscious that he had -turned off rather a good thing in the way of verses.</p> - -<p>“Let me see,” said Leonie, leaning back in her -chair, “how do they begin? Oh, yes!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">131</span></p> - -<div class="poem-container"> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="iqq">‘Sweetheart, if I could surely choose<br /></span> -<span class="i2">The aptest word in passion’s speech,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And all its subtlest meaning use<br /></span> -<span class="i2">With eloquence, your soul to teach,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Still, forced by its intensity,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Sweetheart, my love would voiceless be.<br /></span> -</div><div class="stanza"> -<span class="iq">‘Sweetheart, though all the days and hours<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Sped by, with love in sharpest stress,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To find some reach of human powers<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Its faintest impulse to express;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Till Time merged in Eternity,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Sweetheart, my love would voiceless be.’<br /></span> -</div></div> -</div> - -<p class="in0">“Are they not beautiful?” asked Leonie, as she -concluded.</p> - -<p>“Very beautiful,” responded Mr. Weems, with a -faint impression that it might perhaps pay him to -abandon the old masters, and to grasp the resounding -lyre, with a resolution to thrum it during the -remainder of his life.</p> - -<p>“‘Sweetheart’ is a name I always liked,” said -Leonie. “You called me your ‘rosebud,’ in your -last letter; but somehow it did not please me so -much as ‘sweetheart;’ it was not so natural.”</p> - -<p>“Twenty-five years <em>is</em> old for a rosebud,” said -Mr. Weems, absently.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” replied Leonie; “and does it not seem -odd, Julius, that we who have been apart so long -should now be united forever, and that we should -go down the current of time together until the -end?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">132</span> -While she was speaking, the elegant clock, from -beneath its crystal covering, chimed out the hour -of <em>four</em>, and the artist, consulting his watch, discovered -that the correct time was precisely ten -minutes past eleven. He arose from his seat, and -fondly embracing Leonie, he kissed her, and bade -her good night. She went to the window, and as, -by the light of the street lamp, she saw him descending -the steps in front of the house, she -waved her hand toward him. Then turning, she -proceeded to the hall, and up the stairs to bed, -murmuring to <span class="locked">herself,—</span></p> - -<p>“Burn them! That <em>would</em> be insane!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">133</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER II.</h3> -</div> - -<blockquote> - -<p class="center">SAINT CADMUS’S.—CHURCH MATTERS OF IMPORTANCE.—FATHER -KRUM AND FATHER TUNICLE.—A RIOTOUS SERVICE.</p></blockquote> - -<div> <img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_133.png" width="66" height="68" alt="M" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword">Mr. Cowdrick</span>, although making no -profession of a special fondness for a religious -life, was one of the pillars of St. -Cadmus’s Church. He had been elected to a place -in the vestry; he held two pews; he contributed -upon occasion to the Church fund; and Rev. Mr. -Tunicle, who was “an advanced Ritualist,” found -in Mr. Cowdrick an ardent supporter whenever he -undertook to introduce innovations in his method -of conducting the services.</p> - -<p>It did not seem important to Mr. Cowdrick that -Mr. Tunicle should always try to produce from the -records of the early Church his authority for any -new and surprising practice that he wished to -adopt. If the thing seemed to Mr. Cowdrick good -in itself, if it pleased his eye, and gratified what he -chose to consider the æsthetic demands of his -nature, he deemed it unnecessary to ask any more<span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">134</span> -questions. He would as soon have thought of -inquiring, before he bought a new chair for his -library, or a new set of plate for his table, whether -his grandfather had established any precedent in -the matter of the purchase of chairs and dishes, as -to have sought in ecclesiological history warrant -for the embellishment of the services at St. Cadmus’s. -It was enough that the worshipers who -had the most money, and who were able to pay for -novelties, wanted them.</p> - -<p>Mr. Tunicle, or Father Tunicle, as his most enthusiastic -admirers called him, was a frequent visitor -at the house of Mr. Cowdrick. Not only did -he find there a great deal of sympathy with his -plans, but he liked the society of Leonie, and he -was exceedingly anxious to enlist her among the -active workers in the church.</p> - -<p>He called upon Leonie one evening, shortly -after her betrothal to Mr. Weems; and as the -artist happened to be out of town, Father Tunicle -had an opportunity to enjoy some uninterrupted -conversation with the young lady.</p> - -<p>“I noticed last Sunday, Father Tunicle,” said -Leonie, after some preliminary conversation, “that -you did not use the velvet sermon-cover I worked -for you. I hope you are pleased with it?”</p> - -<p>“Oh yes, delighted with it. But then, you -know, I couldn’t use it last Sunday. The color -for the Third Sunday after Epiphany is green, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">135</span> -the sermon cover you know, is violet. I can use -it on Septuagesima Sunday, of course. We cannot -be too particular about these things in a world -that is lying in wickedness.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, excuse me,” said Leonie. “I had gotten -the idea, somehow, that violet was the morning -color for last Sunday, and red the evening color.”</p> - -<p>“You are thinking of Quinquagesima Sunday, -Miss Cowdrick,” said Father Tunicle, smiling -gravely. “The color changes upon that day. -You must study more carefully the little almanac -I gave you. When the Church provides us with -good books which may guide us to lives of earnest -devotion, it is our duty to read them attentively.”</p> - -<p>“I will promise to do better in the future,” -said Leonie, meekly.</p> - -<p>“I ought to tell you also,” continued Father -Tunicle, “that I could not use the Lavabo you -worked for me, at all.”</p> - -<p>“Indeed! Why?”</p> - -<p>“Why, instead of making it of plain linen, you -made it of damask, and you embroidered it with -silk; whereas everything but French red marking -cotton or white marking cotton is expressly prohibited -by the rules. Nothing in the almanac is -stated in plainer terms than this. St. Paul, you -know, insisted that things should be done decently -and in order, and we are bound to heed his injunction.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">136</span> -“Ah, Father Tunicle, I am afraid I neglect St. -Paul as much as I do my almanac. Will you believe -I really didn’t know that he says anything -about plain linen and French red marking cotton? -I plead guilty.”</p> - -<p>“No, Miss Cowdrick, you misunderstand me. I -did not mean to indicate that the apostle is the -authority for these things. Unhappily he does -not allude to them. Whether he ought to have -done so, is another question. Our authority for -them is more recent, but it is not to be despised -upon that account.”</p> - -<p>“Of course not.”</p> - -<p>“I have great difficulty in impressing the importance -of these things upon the minds of some -of our people. Despite my repeated injunctions, -Mrs. Battersby brought back from the laundry the -altar-cloth filled with starch, and in the midst of -my distress over the discovery of this sacrilege, I -perceived that the sexton had omitted to pin the -fringe to the super-frontal. If we are to be made -perfect through suffering, I feel that I am not far -from perfection, unless these distressing occurrences -shall cease.”</p> - -<p>“It is terrible,” said Leonie, with tender sympathy -in her voice.</p> - -<p>“By the way, Miss Cowdrick,” said the pastor, -“to turn to pleasanter themes. Cannot I enlist -your more active interest in our church work?<span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">137</span> -Will you not come into the Sunday-school as a -teacher?”</p> - -<p>“I am not competent to teach, I fear.”</p> - -<p>“We can give you a class of girls or a class of -boys, as you prefer. The boys’ class, which is -named, ‘Little Lambs of the Flock,’ is, I fear, -somewhat too unruly for you. Miss Bunner gave -it up because the scholars would persist in pinching -each other and quarrelling during the lesson. -They are so rough and boisterous that I think it -will be better to get a male teacher to manage -them. But you could take the girls’ class, ‘The -Zealous Workers,’ and perhaps persuade the pupils -to surrender their present indifference to everything -that is being done in either the Sunday-school -or the church.”</p> - -<p>“I will consider the matter, and let you have -my answer as speedily as possible,” replied Leonie.</p> - -<p>“Do, please. And I must speak to your father -again about my assistant, Father Krum. He is -not in sympathy with me, and it would be better -for both of us if he could be removed.”</p> - -<p>“It is so unfortunate,” said Leonie.</p> - -<p>“I have told him repeatedly that his stole must -always match the color of the frontal of the altar; -but you perhaps noticed last Sunday that he came -in with a black stole, and, of course, with a green -frontal, all hope of a harmonious combination of -colors was gone. It spoiled the entire service for -me.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">138</span> -“For me too,” said Leonie.</p> - -<p>“Sometimes I think Krum is wilfully perverse -and obstinate. Upon several recent occasions he -has read the Epistle upon the Gospel side, and the -Gospel upon the Epistle side, and when I remonstrated -with him, after church, he was positively -offensive. He said that if the people only listened -to the Scripture and heeded it, he couldn’t see -why it made any difference whether he stood upon -one side or the other, or balanced himself on top -of the chancel rail. Scandalous, wasn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Perfectly scandalous.”</p> - -<p>“He seems to take pleasure in destroying the -effect of the finest groupings that I arrange in -the chancel with him and the acolytes; and when -I proposed to introduce an orchestra, led by Professor -Batterini, whom I should dress in a surplice, -Krum had the insolence to say that he did not believe -that there was any use of trying to preach the -Gospel to the poor with a brass band. The man -seems to be lost to all sense of reverence.”</p> - -<p>“Entirely lost,” said Leonie.</p> - -<p>“And as for praying to the east, that he appears -determined not to do. Of course, with the incorrect -orientation of the church, we have only a -‘supposititious east,’ and Krum insists that if I have -a right to suppose the north-northwest, I think it -is, to be the east, he is equally entitled to suppose -the southwest or due south to be east, and so he<span class="pagenum" id="Page_139">139</span> -does as he pleases. When he said, the other day, -that in his opinion more depended upon the frame -of mind in which the prayers were said, than upon -the particular point of the compass towards which -the supplications were presented, I did not answer -him. Such a man is almost beyond the reach -of argument.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Cowdrick came in while Father Tunicle was -speaking; and when the good pastor had rehearsed -his grievances to the banker, Mr. Cowdrick <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Father Krum’s conduct is subversive of good -order and of authority; and if he is allowed to continue -he will demoralize the entire congregation. -He ought to remember what the Bible says about -submitting reverently to one’s pastors and spiritual -masters. You are his pastor and spiritual master. -Isaiah, isn’t it, who says that?”</p> - -<p>“The quotation, though somewhat inexact,” replied -Father Tunicle, “is from the Catechism.”</p> - -<p>“Well, anyhow, he ought to do as you want him -to do. That is what we pay him for. And if he -refuses to do it, he ought to be dismissed.”</p> - -<p>“That,” said Father Tunicle, “will be difficult -to do while he has at least half of the vestrymen -with him. I am sorry to say that his obstinacy is -countenanced and approved by a number of the -lay officers of the church.”</p> - -<p>“Then we must use force!” exclaimed Mr. Cowdrick. -“If we men who put down our money to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_140">140</span> -keep the church in operation cannot be allowed to -do as we please, we had better stop contributing. -The people who pay for spreading the glad tidings -of the Gospel ought to be allowed to spread them -in their own way.”</p> - -<p>“Matters,” said Father Tunicle, “are fast approaching -a point where something will have to be -done. Three times I have instructed Krum to extend -only three of his fingers when he pronounces -absolution, but he continues to hold out his entire -hand, with all his fingers wide open. The last time -he did it I noticed that Mrs. Lindsay, who is one -of our party, got up and left the church in a rage.”</p> - -<p>“I saw her go out,” said Leonie. “That was -the first Sunday upon which she wore her purple -velvet bonnet. Everybody was looking at her.”</p> - -<p>“If he does it again,” said Mr. Cowdrick, “I am -in favor of shutting the church doors against him -and his friends. Peremptory action of some kind -becomes a necessity in cases like this.”</p> - -<p>After some further conversation relative to ecclesiastical -and secular matters, Father Tunicle -took his leave, and went home, probing the deep -recesses of his mind, as he walked along, to find -some plan by which he might successfully overcome -the resistance offered by the perverse Father -Krum to the evangelization of a fallen race.</p> - -<p>The next Sunday morning was bright and beautiful. -The air was cold, but the sun shone from a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_141">141</span> -clear sky to tempt from their homes the worshipers -who, however willing to brave, on week-days, -terrific storms sent to keep them from shopping -excursions and parties, have not nerve enough -upon Sundays to face a cloud no larger than a -man’s hand.</p> - -<p>Those persons who, upon devotional errands intent, -walked along the footway near St. Cadmus’s -church at the hour of morning prayer, perceived -that something of an unusual and exciting nature -was in progress in and about that purely Gothic -edifice. The many whose curiosity succeeded in -overcoming their desire to be punctual in their -attendance at the sanctuary, paused to observe -the proceedings.</p> - -<p>A crisis had been reached in the quarrel between -Father Tunicle and Father Krum. As the -latter, in response to still another request that he -would extend but three fingers in his pronunciation -of the absolution, had positively, and indeed with -vehemence, refused to extend less than four, and -had gone so far as to indicate that, under serious -provocation, he might even thrust out eight fingers -and two thumbs, Father Tunicle’s party had resolved -that the time had come for them to act.</p> - -<p>“It is a terrible thing to do,” said Father Tunicle; -“but the blood of the martyrs is the seed -of the Church; and we must stand up boldly for -truth and right, though we die for it.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_142">142</span> -And so, upon that lovely Sunday morning, when -dumb Nature herself seemed to be trying to express, -with the glory of her sunshine, and with the -pure beauty of her azure sky, her sense of the -goodness of her Creator, Father Tunicle and six -of his vestrymen, reinforced by a few earnest sympathizers, -who were subsequently admitted through -a side door by a faithful sexton, took possession -of the church.</p> - -<p>When Father Krum arrived, the faithful sexton, -keeping watch and ward at the aforesaid door, -refused to let him in; and when the indignant -clergyman demanded a reason for his exclusion, -the functionary informed him that his reckless conduct -in using four fingers and a thumb, instead of -the inferior number warranted by a strict regard -for the usages of the primitive Church, had persuaded -Father Tunicle and his partisans that, as a -shepherd of the sheep, he was a lamentable and -dismal, not to say dangerous, failure.</p> - -<p>Then Father Krum, in a frame of mind that -contained no suggestion of Christian resignation, -walked rapidly around to the front of the church, -where he found a group of persons, members of -the congregation, who were standing before a -close-barred door, behind which, in the vestibule, -stood Father Tunicle and his adherents. While -Father Krum, in the mildest tones that he could -command, and with a proper desire not to produce<span class="pagenum" id="Page_143">143</span> -any excitement, explained the situation to the -crowd, the six vestrymen who inclined to favor his -views, in opposition to those of Father Tunicle, -came up, one after the other.</p> - -<p>They were taken completely by surprise, and felt -they were at a disadvantage. But after some preliminary -discussion, they called Mr. Krum aside, -and began to consider with him what should be -done. Mr. Krum counselled a retreat. His voice -was for peace. He urged that a resort to violence -at any time, but especially at such a time, would -be shocking. But the vestrymen did not agree -with him. Mr. Yetts declared that they had a -right to enter the church, and that for officers of -the church with authority co-equal with theirs to -deny that right, was simply monstrous, and not to -be endured. Mr. Palfrey, Mr. Green, and the other -vestrymen, expressed their full agreement with this -proposition.</p> - -<p>“But let us try peaceful means, at any rate,” -said Mr. Krum. “I will knock at the door.”</p> - -<p>He advanced and knocked. “Who is it?” said -a voice from within.</p> - -<p>“It is Mr. Krum, six of the vestrymen, and a large -portion of the congregation. We wish to enter.”</p> - -<p>“Can’t do it,” replied the voice, which was that -of the sexton, who had advanced to the front, and -had been thrown out upon the picket line in the -vestibule.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_144">144</span> -“Where is Father Tunicle?” asked Mr. Krum.</p> - -<p>“He has just begun the service, and has gotten -as far as ‘dearly beloved brethren.’ My orders are -that you can’t get in until he says the apostolic -benediction!”</p> - -<p>“Ask one of the vestrymen to come to the window -for a moment, please,” said Mr. Krum.</p> - -<p>Presently one of the front windows was raised to -the height of two or three inches, and Mr. Cowdrick -peered through the wire netting that protected -it.</p> - -<p>“What do you want?” asked Mr. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“We wish to know,” said Mr. Yetts, “why we -are excluded from this church, and by whose -authority?”</p> - -<p>“You are excluded,” said Mr. Cowdrick, “because -we who pay the expenses are determined to -run the church in our own way. The door is shut -by our authority; by mine!”</p> - -<p>“Do you mean to say,” asked Mr. Krum, with -much mildness, “that you intend to try to make -this exclusion permanent?”</p> - -<p>“Of course. We have possession and we intend -to keep it. Hurry up if you have anything to -say; I want to go in and help swell the responses.”</p> - -<p>“See here, Cowdrick,” said Mr. Yetts, fiercely, -“if you don’t open that door, we will break it down. -We’re not going to stand any more of this nonsense.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_145">145</span> -“You’d better not try it,” replied Mr. Cowdrick. -“I shall summon the police to protect us if you -do.”</p> - -<p>In response to this, Mr. Yetts advanced to the -door and kicked it three or four times, viciously. -The crowd, which had swollen until it covered the -pavement and filled the street, laughed at this demonstration. -Mr. Cowdrick, behind the window -netting, laughed also. Mr. Yetts, with crimson -face, retired in tolerably good order to consult with -his friends. Father Krum advised him to give it up.</p> - -<p>“Give it up!” exclaimed Mr. Yetts. “I’ll show -you how I’ll give it up!”</p> - -<p>Then he and Mr. Green went around the corner -for a little space, and returned presently with -a somewhat ponderous wooden beam. The four -other vestrymen manned it, and aimed it at the -door. Bang! went the end against the portal, -which bravely withstood the shock. The crowd -cheered, and a dozen boys, who regarded the performance -with delighted interest, crowded up behind -the assaulting column, and betrayed a desire -to give additional impetus to Mr. Yetts’ battering -ram.</p> - -<p>The Krum section of the vestry made another -charge, striking the door with terrible force, but -still failing to effect a breach. At this moment -one of Father Tunicle’s acolytes emerged from the -side-door and attempted to glide down the street<span class="pagenum" id="Page_146">146</span> -in search of a policeman. He was captured by -one of the besieging force, and held as a prisoner. -He brought the news that Father Tunicle had -stopped short in the service when the first blow -was struck against the door, and that the entire -garrison was now rallied in the vestibule, where -they were fortifying the portal with the baptismal -font, the episcopal chair, some Sunday-school -benches, and a lectern.</p> - -<p>Mr. Krum remonstrated with Mr. Yetts, and entreated -him not to proceed any further. He urged -that it was a dreadful thing for Christian men to -create such a disturbance upon the Sabbath-day.</p> - -<p>“I don’t know about that!” replied Mr. Yetts, -who was now warm with wrath and with excitement. -“When Peter did wrong didn’t Paul ‘withstand -him to the face’?”</p> - -<p>“Yes; but, my dear Mr. Yetts, think of it! -St. Paul did not try to batter down the church door -on a Sunday morning with a log of wood! You -are going too far!”</p> - -<p>“Times have changed since then,” said Mr. -Yetts. “Paul probably never encountered precisely -such an emergency. Once more!” exclaimed -Mr. Yetts to the assailants. “Give it to -’em hard this time!”</p> - -<p>Seizing the beam, the vestrymen and their -friends advanced once more to the attack. Three -times was the door smitten without effect, but<span class="pagenum" id="Page_147">147</span> -when the fourth blow was struck it gave way, and -was flung wide open, revealing Father Tunicle and -his friends, standing amid a mass of overturned and -wrecked furniture, pale with rage and dismay, and -ready to defend with force the citadel which thus -was exposed to the enemy.</p> - -<div id="ip_147" class="figcenter" style="max-width: 27em;"> - <img src="images/i_146.png" width="417" height="604" alt="" /> - <div class="caption"><span class="smcap">A Riotous Service.</span></div></div> - -<p>The crowd sent up a shout of satisfaction, and the -intrepid Yetts, with his five vestrymen, regarded -their triumph with exultation.</p> - -<p>What they would have done next, if they had -been permitted to press forward through the breach, -can only be imagined. For a moment it looked as -if beneath that spire which idly pointed these men -toward a better country, whence rage and hatred -and all evil passions are shut out, and beneath the -bell, whose function was to send vibrating through -the tremulous air its summons to the temple of -the Prince of Peace, there might be a hand-to-hand -encounter, in which priest and people should assail -each other with furious violence.</p> - -<p>But, most happily, at this critical moment, a -squad of policemen came upon the scene, and -entering the doorway, separated the combatants -and prevented any further demonstration.</p> - -<p>“Never mind!” exclaimed Mr. Yetts, shaking -his fist at the Father Tunicle faction. “We will -go to law about it. We shall see who has a right -to use this church!”</p> - -<p>“As you please!” replied Mr. Sloper, one of the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_148">148</span> -vestrymen who adhered to Father Tunicle. “We -will fight you to the last gasp!”</p> - -<p>And then both parties dispersed, leaving the -church in charge of the policemen, who closed the -door, and took the key to the nearest magistrate.</p> - -<p>Taken altogether, the day’s proceedings, regarded -as the performance of Christian gentlemen, -citizens of a Christian country, upon the day designated -by Christianity as a day of peace and rest—as -a day of devotion to celestial and holy things, -could hardly be regarded as encouraging to those -hopeful persons who cherish the theory that the -world is to be made better by illustrations of the -excellence of the advantages of pure religion.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_149">149</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER III.</h3> -</div> - -<blockquote> - -<p class="center">MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF MR. COWDRICK.—THE -“CRAB.”—“HEAR BOTH SIDES.”—A SKELETON -DISCOVERED.—A POWERFUL SERMON.</p></blockquote> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_149.png" width="66" height="68" alt="B" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword in02">Before</span> another Sunday came, the community -was shocked and startled by the announcement -that Mr. Cowdrick, the banker, -had suddenly and mysteriously disappeared. What -had become of him nobody seemed to know. Even -Mrs. Cowdrick apparently did not know. The -friends who promptly called upon her, partly for the -purpose of offering her their sympathy and partly -with an intent to gratify their curiosity, ascertained, -during the intervals of her hysterical -spasms, that she cherished a wild and rather incoherent -theory that Mr. Cowdrick had been brutally -assassinated by some person and for some cause -unknown. And this theory obtained some acceptance -for a time among amiable people, who were -disposed to take the most charitable view of the -situation. But the number of these speedily diminished -when the newspapers, a day or two later,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_150">150</span> -revealed the result of an official examination of the -affairs of Mr. Cowdrick’s bank. The public then -learned that that financial institution was rotten -through and through; that Mr. Cowdrick and his -partners in crime had not only used, for purposes -of private speculation, the money of the depositors, -but that they had stolen everything of value that -had been committed to their care, and had left the -bank an absolute, hopeless wreck, and reduced the -innocent and unsuspicious stockholders to beggary.</p> - -<p>The public excitement, of course, was great. -Mrs. Cowdrick’s friends neglected her. The rich -and influential De Flukes actually insulted her by -sending to recall an invitation to their reception -that had been sent to her. As if Mrs. Cowdrick -could have attended the reception at any rate! -This was the cruellest thing of all, to Mrs. Cowdrick. -She broke down completely and went to -bed, where Leonie waited upon her to supply her -with almost alarming quantities of camphor and -smelling-salts.</p> - -<p>As no traces of the fugitive could be found; as -no one could testify to having seen him leave the -city; and as the detective force, after following out -without success any number of what they considered -excellent clues, appeared to have relapsed into a -normal condition of imbecility and indifference, the -conclusion reached by many persons was, that -Cowdrick had destroyed himself; and the energetic<span class="pagenum" id="Page_151">151</span> -and enterprising coroner, McSorley, who had just -been elected upon the Democratic ticket, went to -work to drag all the rivers and creeks and ponds in -the neighborhood.</p> - -<p>Colonel Hoker, the editor of the <i>Crab</i>, the leading -daily paper, advocated a dozen different theories -in turn, and his indomitable reporters not only -secured early and accurate reports of the condition -of the bank, but they obtained expressions of -opinion from at least thirty eminent citizens who -really knew no more about the matter than other -people, and they watched Cowdrick’s house so -closely, and were so successful in establishing confidential -relations with the chambermaid, that they -were able to tell how often the doctor called to see -Mrs. Cowdrick, what quantity of reinvigorating -drugs she consumed, how her medicine agreed -with her, and what she had every day for dinner.</p> - -<p>A country wherein a tyrant’s power is used to -shackle the press, and to rob it of freedom of utterance, -does not know how much it misses.</p> - -<p>The uncertainty in which the fate of Mr. Cowdrick -was involved, made it exceedingly difficult -for Colonel Hoker to discuss the bank sensation in -his editorial columns. If he could have felt sure -that the unhappy fugitive had really slain himself, -the course of the Colonel would have been clear; -for then he could with safety have directed public -attention to the peculiar atrocity of the transactions<span class="pagenum" id="Page_152">152</span> -at the bank; he could have held the miserable offender -up before the public eye to point to him -as an awful example to others, and especially to the -young, and he could have preached many eloquent -sermons upon the text, “Be sure your sins will -find you out!”</p> - -<p>But while a chance remained that Cowdrick was -still alive and might return, the Colonel knew that -it was the duty of persons upon whom it devolved -to form public opinion through the instrumentality -of the press, to be careful. He had learned from -extended observation that an absent offender who -has been roughly used as a warning against pursuance -of the paths of vice, sometimes comes back, -and, after gaining possession of power and riches, -manifests a disposition to make things very uncomfortable -for the eminent journalists who have used -him as a basis for their denunciations of sin. And -so the Colonel discussed the matter in the <i>Crab</i> -only in a general way; lamenting the loss to the -stockholders; expressing regret that “one of our -most eminent citizens should be, for a time at -least, in some respects under a cloud,” and urging -that perhaps the disaster might fairly be attributed -to the spirit of wild speculation which seemed at -times to animate entire communities, rather than -to a deliberate purpose to inflict injury upon confiding -and innocent persons.</p> - -<p>The dexterity displayed by Colonel Hoker, in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_153">153</span> -keeping the <i>Crab</i> in such a nice position that -while it apparently conceded much to public sentiment -and the requirements of morality, it yet left a -very wide margin for the contingency of Cowdrick’s -vindication and restoration to prosperity, was really -marvellous.</p> - -<p>But the nicest ingenuity sometimes will not avail -against accident, or rather against that Fate which -ordains catastrophe with ironical contempt for human -foresight.</p> - -<p>The Colonel was compelled to leave town for a -few days, and in order to make the <i>Crab</i> entirely -safe, he penned two editorial articles, one to be -used in the event of the discovery of Cowdrick’s -dead body during his absence, the other to be -inserted if Cowdrick should return alive to face his -accusers and his fate.</p> - -<p>The former article ran in this <span class="locked">wise:—</span></p> - -<blockquote> - -<p class="center wspace larger">“<span class="smcap">The Way of the Transgressor.</span></p> - -<p>“It has not often been our lot to present to our -readers more striking proof than that which is -found in our columns to-day of the fact that Satan -makes hard bargains. It is now positively ascertained -that Cowdrick the swindler, forger and thief, -driven by desperation at the exposure of his awful -crimes, and, let us hope, for the sake of human nature, -by the stings of a conscience which could not -hearken with indifference to the cries of the widows<span class="pagenum" id="Page_154">154</span> -and orphans reduced at one fell blow to beggary, -took his own life, and so ended a career of crime -which honest men shrink from contemplating. It -is, perhaps, for the best, however much we may -regret that this wretched felon, burdened with guilt -and shame, should have robbed the law of its right -to punish, and should have gone into eternity unshriven, -with the guilt of self-destruction added to -the mountain of sins for which already he was required -to give account. We shrink from discussion -of the dreadful details of this shocking and -sickening tragedy; but it will not have been enacted -in vain if it shall seem to warn those who are -tempted, as this man was, to surrender honesty at -the demand of greed, and to permit the maddening -thirst for gain to persuade them to trample in the -dust their obligations to society, to their families, -and to those who had given them their trust.”</p></blockquote> - -<p>The second article pursued rather a different line -of thought. It was to the following <span class="locked">effect:—</span></p> - -<blockquote> - -<p class="center wspace larger">“<span class="smcap">A Demand for Fair Play.</span></p> - -<p>“We take a great deal of pleasure in announcing -that Henry P. Cowdrick, Esq., the well-known -banker, whose name has been before the public for -some days past in connection with some unpleasant, -but not yet positively authentic, rumors, has -returned to the city in the enjoyment of excellent -health. It is understood that an immediate further<span class="pagenum" id="Page_155">155</span> -examination into the affairs of the bank will be -made with the assistance of Mr. Cowdrick, and we -merely express the general wish when we say that -we hope to have some of the transactions that have -excited severest comment explained in such a manner -as to vindicate Mr. Cowdrick of every suspicion -of wilful wrong-doing. Meantime, while this -inquiry is pending, and while Mr. Cowdrick is -preparing his statement of the case, it is only -just to him to ask that there shall be a suspension -of public opinion. His former high standing, his -services to this community, the obscurity in which -the recent operations of the bank are shrouded, and -the most ordinary requirements of fair play, all combine -to make it desirable that public opinion shall -not pronounce a final verdict before the case is made -up. We need not say how earnestly we trust that -Mr. Cowdrick will emerge from his troubles with -his honor unstained, and his reputation as a faithful -guardian of the trusts confided to him, untarnished.”</p></blockquote> - -<p>As a precautionary measure, the preparation of -these articles appeared to be in a high sense judicious; -and the Colonel naturally felt that the <i>Crab</i> -might be depended on to keep nicely upon the -right track until he should come home. But, alas! -upon the next day but one after his departure, the -foreman of the <i>Crab</i> composing-room, either mistaking -his instructions, or being too much in haste -in arranging his material, placed both articles together<span class="pagenum" id="Page_156">156</span> -in the form, and the <i>Crab</i> came out in the -morning to provoke the mirth of the town, to excite -the contempt of its enemies, and to drive the -unhappy associate editors of the paper to madness -and despair. The manner in which the rival journals -commented upon the occurrence was both -brutal and infamous; and when the subject became -a little stale, the editors of the rival journals put -the <i>Crab</i> articles carefully away in scrap books, so -as to make sure of having them ready for irritating -and badgering Colonel Hoker upon every favorable -opportunity during all the years to come.</p> - -<p>The Colonel himself, upon discerning the catastrophe -in a copy of the paper which he picked up -at his hotel, expressed his feelings freely and -vehemently by telegraph, and then he started home -upon a fast express train for the purpose of explaining -his views more fully and precisely.</p> - -<p>The <i>Crab</i> itself alluded to the subject only so far -as to suggest that the stupidity of an associate -editor was accountable for the performance, and to -hint that there was some reason for suspecting -that bribery had been employed by the owners of -rival papers, in the vain hope to bring the <i>Crab</i>, the -only really infallible journal published, into contempt.</p> - -<p>The efforts of McSorley, the coroner, to demonstrate -the correctness of his theory of suicide were -indefatigable. The body not having been discovered<span class="pagenum" id="Page_157">157</span> -in any of the streams, McSorley began to -search for it upon the land. The pursuit, however, -was not profitable, for no traces of Mr. Cowdrick -could be found. An ordinary coroner would -have abandoned the hunt in despair; but McSorley -was no common man. He brought to the -performance of the functions of his office an enthusiasm -which never failed to kindle at the promise -of a fee; and as, in this case, he was thoroughly -convinced that Cowdrick ought to have committed -suicide, he felt that for Cowdrick to have evaded -his duty in the matter would have been to perpetrate -a wanton outrage upon Coroner McSorley.</p> - -<p>The following extract from the local reports in -the <i>Crab</i> will explain the character of the coroner’s -ultimate <span class="locked">effort:—</span></p> - -<p>“Yesterday a number of large bones were discovered -beneath an old stable on Twelfth Street, -by some laborers. It was believed by most of the -spectators that they were the bones of a horse. -But Coroner McSorley, who was sent for, declared -at once his belief that they were portions of the -skeleton of one of our prominent citizens, a banker, -who has been missing for several days. This -view was contested by several of the persons present -upon the ground that the remains were absolutely -fleshless, and manifestly very old. But the -coroner, to demonstrate the accuracy of his view, -proceeded to arrange the bones upon the pavement<span class="pagenum" id="Page_158">158</span> -in the form of a man. He succeeded in the -attempt to some extent, and was about to summon -his jury of inquest, when Dr. Wattles came up. -The doctor examined the skeleton, and then the -following conversation ensued between him and -Coroner <span class="locked">McSorley:—</span></p> - -<p>“‘You don’t imagine that to be the skeleton of -a human being, do you, Mr. McSorley?’</p> - -<p>“Certainly it is! Don’t you see the shape of it?’</p> - -<p>“‘But, my dear sir, what you have arranged as -the spine, runs clear up through what you suppose -to be the skull, and projects two or three inches -beyond the top of the head.’</p> - -<p>“‘Of course; and that is very likely the cause of -all the trouble. The man’s spine worked up into -his head and disordered his mind. An aunt of -mine, in Wisconsin, went mad from that very -cause.’</p> - -<p>“‘But how do you account for the fact that there -are three elbows in the left arm and none at all in -the right.’</p> - -<p>“‘Dr. Wattles, I am not obliged to account for -eccentricities of formation in different individuals. -I am satisfied with them as nature made them; -and that is enough. It’s none of my business if -Cowdrick had eleven elbows in one arm, and thirty-four -in the other.’</p> - -<p>“‘I will not argue the point, sir; but you certainly -have no authority for locating two ribs in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_159">159</span> -the neck, and for placing a row of teeth upon the -upper side of the right foot. That foot, Mr. McSorley, -is nothing but a fragment of a lower jawbone, -depend upon it.’</p> - -<p>“‘How do you know that the deceased had no -teeth there? You doctors always want to insist -that every man is constructed on the same plan. I -used to know a man in Canada who had four molar -teeth in his ankle; and two of them were plugged. -This appears to be a similar case.’</p> - -<p>“‘But you never knew a man who had a thighbone -where his shoulder-blade ought to be, like -this one, did you? You never saw a man with a -knee-cap in the small of his back, either, did you?”</p> - -<div id="ip_159" class="figcenter" style="max-width: 27em;"> - <img src="images/i_160.png" width="418" height="604" alt="" /> - <div class="caption">“<span class="smcap">You never Saw a Man with a Knee-cap in the Small of -his Back.</span>”</div></div> - -<p>“‘Maybe I did, and maybe I didn’t. I have no -time to discuss the subject now. The inquest that -I am about to hold will bring out the facts. Mr. -O’Flynn, swear in the jury!’”</p> - -<p>The evidence that was given by the witnesses -was of the most varied and entertaining character; -and though much of it was vague and much -was irrelevant, the jury appeared to have no difficulty -in reaching a conclusion, for, after a few minutes’ -deliberation, they brought in a verdict that -“the deceased, Henry P. Cowdrick, came to his -death from cause or causes unknown;” and then -they collected their fees and dispersed, with a grateful -consciousness that they had fully discharged -their duty to society.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_160">160</span> -But, of course, perfectly disinterested persons, -persons who were not in the way of earning jury -fees, were disposed to regard with incredulity the -conclusions reached by the coroner and his friends, -and still it was for the community a vexed question—What -had become of Mr. Cowdrick?</p> - -<p>The coroner’s theory, however, was not entirely -forgotten, because Dr. Wattles sent to one of the -daily papers a communication, in which he expressed -his opinion of the bones over which the -inquest was held. This provoked from “An Eminent -Scientist,” who had not seen the bones, a -suggestion of the possibility that they may have -belonged to some mysterious creature who was -the missing link between man and the lower -orders of mammalia.</p> - -<p>To this there came a hot response from Father -Tunicle and several other clergymen, who proceeded -to show the monstrous folly and wickedness -of such a supposition, and who demonstrated that -Science and Infidelity, not to say sheer Paganism, -were pretty nearly one and the same thing.</p> - -<p>The clerical utterances so excited at least half-a-dozen -other Eminent Scientists that the latter -undertook to demonstrate, through the columns of -the daily papers, that the book of Genesis was written -by Jeremiah; that life first visited this planet -in the shape of star-dust, which, after developing -into jelly-fish, gradually grew to the ape form, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_161">161</span> -ultimately became man. They showed how all religion -is priestcraft and superstition; they traced -all the creeds backward to myths built upon the -operations of Nature; they could hardly refrain -from mirth at the notion of a Great First Cause; -and they positively refused to join with the multitude, -for whom, however, they expressed deep compassion, -in believing anything that they could not -see, or feel, or analyze.</p> - -<p>It seemed a large controversy to grow out of -Coroner McSorley’s arrangement of the unearthed -bones; but the controversialists manifestly regarded -it as of the very highest importance; although, -when it was ended, each believed precisely what he -had believed before.</p> - -<p>At St. Cadmus’s, the Cowdrick tragedy had had, -upon the whole, rather a good effect. The event -was mournful, of course, but it produced some desirable -results. The Tunicle party felt that they -had lost one of their most ardent supporters, and a -contributor upon whose wealth they had depended -greatly for the success of their plans. Thus they -were able more easily to perceive the excellence of -a spirit of concession, and at once they began to -approach the other side with offers of compromise.</p> - -<p>Happily, at this juncture, Father Krum received -a “call” to a church in another diocese, and he -accepted it promptly, sending in his resignation of -his position as the assistant minister at St. Cadmus’s.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_162">162</span> -Father Tunicle, then, of his own motion, -offered to abandon, as not absolutely essential to -salvation, the use of black book-markers upon -Good Friday; whereupon Mr. Yetts and his adherents -in the vestry declared themselves satisfied, -and once more resumed their accustomed places in -the sanctuary on Sunday.</p> - -<p>Upon the second Sunday after the disappearance -of Mr. Cowdrick, Father Tunicle, who held stoutly -to the theory that his late vestryman had been -murdered, resolved to refer indirectly in his remarks -from the pulpit to the bereavement; and -upon his invitation, Mrs. Cowdrick and Leonie attended -the church, heavily veiled, to obtain what -consolation might be possible from the services.</p> - -<p>Father Tunicle, being somewhat pressed for -time during the preceding week, had procured -from a dealer in such commodities, at the price of -three dollars, an original sermon addressed to persons -in affliction, and this he brought with him -into the pulpit, wrapped in Leonie’s worked velvet -sermon-cover. The fact that the sermon was nicely -lithographed, so that it closely resembled manuscript, -made it quite impossible for any one to -suspect that it was not the product of Father Tunicle’s -own intellectual effort and of his earnest -sympathy. The discourse was divided into four -parts; three heads, and an affecting application; -which, at three dollars for the whole, of course<span class="pagenum" id="Page_163">163</span> -amounted to just seventy-five cents a part—not -too much, surely, for so wholesome and comforting -a sermon.</p> - -<p>Father Tunicle preached it with much eloquence; -but Mrs. Cowdrick, despite an occasional -sob beneath her veil, managed to restrain her feelings -until Father Tunicle had gotten through with -one dollar and a half’s worth of the sermon, and -had begun upon the third head. Then Mrs. Cowdrick -could stand it no longer. One passionate -outburst of grief followed another, until, when the -attention of the entire congregation was directed to -Mrs. Cowdrick, the sexton came in, and led her in -a fainting condition down the aisle to the door, -where she was placed in the carriage with Leonie, -with nothing to solace her but the reflection that -everybody in the church, including the odious De -Flukes, <em>must</em> have noticed her sealskin sacque and -her lovely diamond earrings.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_164">164</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER IV.</h3> -</div> - -<blockquote> - -<p class="center">MR. WEEMS.—TOM BENNET’S WAY.—MR. GUNN’S -PROPOSAL.—BREACH OF PROMISE.—THE TRIAL.</p></blockquote> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_164.png" width="66" height="68" alt="O" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword">One</span> morning, Mr. Julius Weems sat in his -studio, dressed in velvet working jacket -and slouching hat. With palette on -thumb, brush in hand, and pipe in mouth, Mr. -Weems was endeavoring to give a sufficiently aged -appearance to a “Saul and Witch of Endor,” by -Salvator Rosa.</p> - -<p>“Hang it,” said Mr. Weems to himself, as he -placed a dab of burnt umber on the withered cheek -of the hag, “everything seems to go wrong! It was -bad enough to have old Cowdrick dupe me in the -way he did; but right on top of that, to hear from -Crook and Gudgem that the Rubens business is -being overdone, and that they have had eight St. -Ethelbertas offered to them during the week, is a -little too much. If the entire profession of artists -is going to turn to painting old masters, I will have -to come down to modern art and poor prices. It’s<span class="pagenum" id="Page_165">165</span> -the worst luck! There is no chance at all for a man -to earn an honest living!”</p> - -<p>Mr. Weems’s soliloquy was interrupted by a -light knocking upon his door. Hastily throwing a -cloth over the picture upon his easel, and turning -two Titians and a Raphael with their faces to the -wall, Mr. Weems opened the door and admitted -the visitor.</p> - -<p>“Good morning!” said the intruder. “Don’t -know me, I suppose?”</p> - -<p>“No.” responded Mr. Weems.</p> - -<p>“My name is Gunn; Benjamin P. Gunn.”</p> - -<p>“I have heard of you. You are interested in life -assurance, I believe? A canvasser, or something?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, I was; but I have given that up now. -The business was overdone. I grew tired of it!”</p> - -<p>“You don’t know anything, then, about Mr. -Cowdrick’s case? I mean whether he had much on -his life or not?”</p> - -<p>“Oh! well, I have heard that he was insured for -fifty thousand or so; I don’t remember the exact -amount. But it makes no difference.”</p> - -<p>“Will the widow be likely to get it if he is -dead?”</p> - -<p>“In my opinion she will have a mighty slim -chance of collecting anything, even if she can prove -that he is actually deceased. From what I know -of the President of the Widows’ and Orphans’ Mutual -Life Insurance Company, I believe he will<span class="pagenum" id="Page_166">166</span> -fight the claim through all the courts. That is his -rule. Nearly all the companies do it.”</p> - -<p>“What! even if it is a clear case for the policy-holder?”</p> - -<p>“Of course! That is the regular thing. They’ll -worry a widow so that she will be glad to compromise -on half the claim, and by the time she has -paid her lawyers most of that is gone.”</p> - -<p>“That seems hard!”</p> - -<p>“Yes; that is one of the reasons why I quit. -Take the case of Lemuel A. Gerlach, for example. -You remember it?”</p> - -<p>“No.”</p> - -<p>“Well, sir, I did my best to persuade that man -to insure. He didn’t want to; but I harried him -into it. I waited on him at his office; I disturbed -him at his meals; I lay in wait for him when he -came home from the club; I followed him to the -sea-shore in summer; when he went yachting I -pursued him with a steam-tug; when he was sick -I got the apothecary to enclose our circulars with -his medicine; I sat next to him in church for four -consecutive Sundays, and slipped mortality tables -into his prayer-book; I rode with him in the same -carriage when he went to funerals, and lectured -him all the way out to the cemetery upon the uncertainty -of human life. Finally, he succumbed. -I knew he would. It was only a question of time. -I took him down to the office; the company’s surgeon<span class="pagenum" id="Page_167">167</span> -examined him, and said he was the healthiest -man he ever saw—not a flaw in him anywhere. -So he paid his premium and got his policy. Two -months later he died. When Mrs. Gerlach called -to get her money, the President threatened to have -her put out of the office because she denied that -Gerlach’s liver was torpid when he took out his -policy.”</p> - -<p>“Did they pay, finally?”</p> - -<p>“Pay! not a dollar! The widow sued to recover, -and the company put the surgeon and eight -miscellaneous doctors on the stand to prove that -Gerlach for years had been a complete physical -wreck, with more diseases than most people ever -heard of; and they undertook to show that Gerlach -had devoted the latter part of his life to organizing -a scheme for foisting himself upon the company for -the purpose of swindling it. That was five years -ago. The case is pending in the courts yet, and -the widow has already spent twenty per cent. more -than the face of the policy.”</p> - -<p>“It was not a very profitable speculation, certainly.”</p> - -<p>“No, sir; it wasn’t. I’ll tell you what, Mr. -Weems, if a man wants to realize on his departed -relatives, that is not the way to do it. Anything -is better than life insurance; even Tom Bennet’s -way.”</p> - -<p>“How was that?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_168">168</span> -“Why, Tom Bennet, you know, is a friend of -mine, who lives out in Arkansas. And one day, -some years ago, a little cemetery in the town in -which he lived was sold out by the sheriff. Tommy -was looking about for a site on which to build a -house for himself, and, as this one happened to suit -him, he bid on it, and got it at a very low figure. -When he began to dig the cellar, Tom found that -the folks who were interred in the place had been -petrified, to a man. Every occupant turned to -solid stone! So Tom, you know, being a practical -kind of man, made up his mind to quarry out the -departed, and to utilize them for building material.”</p> - -<p>“Rather unkind, wasn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Tom didn’t appear to think so. And as the -building made progress, he rubbed down Mr. Flaherty -for a door-sill, and had Judge Paterson chipped -off with a chisel into the handsomest hitching-post -that you ever saw.”</p> - -<p>“Horrible!”</p> - -<p>“Yes. Some of the McTurk family were put -into the bow-window, between the sashes, and the -whole of the families of Major Magill and Mr. -Dougherty were worked into the foundation. And -when the roof was going on, Tom Bennet took -General Hidenhooper, and bored a flue through -the crown of his head downward, so as to use him -for a chimney-top. The edifice, when completed, -presented a rather striking appearance.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_169">169</span> -“What did the surviving relatives have to say?”</p> - -<p>“They were indignant, of course; but as the -courts decided that the petrifactions, without -doubt, were part of the real estate, and were included -in the title-deeds, they could do nothing but -remonstrate, and Tom paid no attention to that.”</p> - -<p>“Then it is your professional opinion,” said Mr. -Weems, returning to the subject uppermost in his -mind, “that the Insurance Company will not pay, -even if Mr. Cowdrick be found to be dead!”</p> - -<p>Mr. Gunn smiled in a peculiar manner, and then, -after a moment’s hesitation, he said: “Really, you -know, Mr. Weems, there is no use of discussing -that contingency. Cowdrick is not dead.”</p> - -<p>“How do you know?”</p> - -<p>“Why, that is the very thing I called to see you -about. I am on the detective force now. Regularly -employed by the police authorities. I know -exactly where Cowdrick is, and I have had him -under surveillance from the very first day that he -left home.”</p> - -<p>“Why haven’t you arrested him, then?”</p> - -<p>Mr. Gunn laughed. “Oh, it was not worth -while. I knew I could get him whenever I wanted -him. It never pays to be in a hurry with such -matters.”</p> - -<p>“A heavy reward has been offered for him, I -believe,” said Mr. Weems.</p> - -<p>“That’s just it,” replied Mr. Gunn.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_170">170</span> -“I don’t understand you.”</p> - -<p>“Why, the authorities express their anxiety to -catch him, by offering to pay five hundred dollars -to accomplish the feat. Now, the question is, will -Cowdrick’s friends express their wish that he shall -not be caught, by going a little higher, say up to -one thousand dollars?”</p> - -<p>“But I cannot imagine why you should come to -me with such a proposition. Why don’t you go to -Mrs. Cowdrick?”</p> - -<p>“I’d rather deal with a man; a man understands -business so much better. And as you are interested -in Cowdrick’s family, going, as it were, to be -near and dear to him, it struck me that maybe you -might give him a chance to go off quietly upon a -trip to Europe, or somewhere, and save him from a -term of years in jail. How does it strike you?”</p> - -<p>“Very unfavorably. In the first place, I have -not enough money for your purpose; and, in the -second place, if I did have it, I should decline to -expend it for the benefit of Mr. Cowdrick.”</p> - -<p>“Then you refuse to negotiate?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, positively.”</p> - -<p>“Very well,” said Mr. Detective Gunn, rising, -“I merely wished to ascertain what your views -were. Pardon me for interrupting you. No offence, -I hope? Good morning.” And Mr. Gunn -withdrew, while Weems closed and bolted the door.</p> - -<p>The artist had hardly seated himself, and resumed<span class="pagenum" id="Page_171">171</span> -the work of depicting the Witch of Endor, -when another visitor knocked at the door. Mr. -Weems arose, drew the bolt, and opened the door -wide enough to permit him to look out.</p> - -<p>“May I come in?” asked Leonie Cowdrick, with -an effort at cheeriness in her voice.</p> - -<p>“Oh, certainly. Glad to see you,” replied Mr. -Weems, admitting her. But Mr. Weems did not -look as if he really felt very glad.</p> - -<p>“Pardon me for calling, Julius,” she said, “but -I think I must have left my satchel when I was -here last week. I cannot find it anywhere.”</p> - -<p>Poor thing! Any excuse would have sufficed to -account for her coming to try to discover why it -was that her lover had not visited her for nearly a -week.</p> - -<p>“I do not think it is here,” said Mr. Weems; “I -am sure it is not, or I should have seen it.”</p> - -<p>“Then it is lost beyond recovery,” exclaimed -Leonie, sinking into a chair, and fanning herself, -while she looked very hard at the artist, who pretended -to be busy with his picture.</p> - -<p>“Haven’t heard anything from your father yet, I -suppose?” said Mr. Weems, after a painful interval -of silence.</p> - -<p>“Nothing; absolutely nothing. Poor mother is -nearly distracted. We are in great trouble. And -I thought, Julius, you would have been with us -more during this trial.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_172">172</span> -“Well,” said Mr. Weems, “you see I have been -so very busy, and I have had so many engagements, -that I could not find time enough to call -very frequently.”</p> - -<p>“It looked almost like neglect,” said Leonie, -sadly. “I could hardly bear it.” And she put -her handkerchief to her eyes.</p> - -<p>“Confound it!” said Mr. Weems to himself, -“now there is going to be a scene.”</p> - -<p>“Mother said she could hardly believe that you -really loved me,” continued Leonie.</p> - -<p>“She said that, did she?” asked Mr. Weems, -somewhat bitterly. “Did she ask you if you -really loved <em>me</em>?”</p> - -<p>“No, Julius; she knows that I do. You know -it, too.”</p> - -<p>“Love,” said the artist, “means faith, trust, fair -play, and candor, among other things, I have always -thought.”</p> - -<p>“What do you mean by that, Julius?”</p> - -<p>“Well, I don’t want to be unkind, Leonie; but -do you think that a woman who truly loved a man -would misrepresent her age to him; or that she -would be absolutely silent respecting previous engagements -that she had contracted? How do I -know that you care more for me than you did for -Baxter and the others?”</p> - -<p>“Mr. Weems,” exclaimed Leonie, indignantly, -“this is cruel. It is worse,—it is shameful. You<span class="pagenum" id="Page_173">173</span> -seem to have known all there was to know, without -seeking information from me.”</p> - -<p>“That is what made it so very painful,” replied -Mr. Weems, trying to look as if his feelings had -experienced a terrible wrench. “It was dreadful -to learn from outside sources what I should have -heard from your own lips. When a woman pretends -to give me her heart, I expect her to give me -her confidence also.”</p> - -<p>“Pretends!” exclaimed Leonie, rising. “Pretends! -What do you mean, sir, by ‘pretends’! -Do you dare to insinuate that I deliberately deceived -you?”</p> - -<p>“Well,” said Mr. Weems, calmly, “that is perhaps -a rather violent construction of my language; -but we will not quarrel over phrases.”</p> - -<p>“I did not think,” said Leonie, tearfully but -vehemently, “that I should be insulted when I -came here,—insulted in the midst of my grief. It -is unmanly, sir! It is cowardly! It is infamous!”</p> - -<p>“I am sorry that you take that view of it. I did -not intend to be discourteous, I am sure. Pray -pardon me if I was so. It is clear, however, that, -after what has passed, we can hardly sustain our -former relation to each other.”</p> - -<p>“I understand you, sir,” replied Leonie, scornfully; -“I fully realize your meaning. You intended -at the outset to break our engagement. Well, sir, -it is broken. I am glad to break it. I regard you<span class="pagenum" id="Page_174">174</span> -with scorn and contempt. Hereafter we shall be -as strangers to each other.”</p> - -<p>“I submit to your decision,” returned the artist. -“But—but, of course, you will return my letters?”</p> - -<p>Leonie laughed a wild and bitter laugh, and, -gathering up her skirts as if she feared contamination, -she swept haughtily from the room, without -speaking another word.</p> - -<p>“That is settled, at any rate!” said Mr. Weems, -as he closed the door. “That is just what I wanted. -I can’t afford to marry poverty. But it is a bad -business about those letters of mine! I wonder if -she intends to use them against me?” And Mr. -Weems, relighting his pipe, sat down in his easy-chair -to make a mental review of the situation.</p> - -<p>Mr. Weems was not permitted to remain long in -doubt respecting the intentions of Miss Cowdrick. -Upon the very next day he received from Messrs. -Pullock and Shreek, attorneys, formal notice that -Miss Leonie Cowdrick had authorized them to -bring a suit against him for breach of promise of -marriage, the claim for pecuniary damages being -laid at thirty thousand dollars.</p> - -<p>Mr. Weems regarded the proceeding with not a -little alarm; but, upon consulting his lawyer, Mr. -Porter, and detailing to him the conversation between -the artist and Leonie at the time of the rupture, -Mr. Weems was assured that he could make -an excellent defence upon the theory that the lady<span class="pagenum" id="Page_175">175</span> -had broken the engagement; and he was strongly -advised to permit the case to go to trial.</p> - -<p>It did so right speedily; for the attorneys for the -plaintiff secured for it an early place upon the list, -and they manifested a disposition to push the defendant -in the most unmerciful manner permitted -by the law.</p> - -<p>When the case was called for trial, Mr. Weems’s -lawyer moved for a postponement; and he pleaded, -argued, fought, and begged for his motion as if the -life of his client and his own happiness were staked -upon a brief delay. As Mr. Weems was quite -ready to proceed, he could not imagine why there -should be such earnest contention respecting this -point. But, of course, it was the regular professional -thing to do. Mr. Weems’s lawyer did not -really want a continuance. He merely cared to -put himself right upon the record by conducting -the performance in the customary manner.</p> - -<p>Messrs. Pullock and Shreek, counsel for the -plaintiff, resisted the motion vigorously. When -Mr. Shreek arose to address the court, with regard -to it, the unpractised spectator would have supposed -that the learned counsel was amazed as well -as shocked at the conduct of the defence in asking -that the arm of justice should be stayed, even for a -week, from visiting punishment upon the monster -who was now called to answer for his offences. It -seemed really to grieve Mr. Shreek, to distress and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_176">176</span> -hurt him, that the counsel for the defence, a member -of an honorable profession, and a man who, -upon ordinary occasions, had the respect of society -and the confidence of his fellow-creatures, should -so far set at defiance all considerations of propriety, -all sense of what was due to the lovely sufferer who -came here for protection and redress, and all the -demands of justice, honor, and decency, as to try -to keep the hideous facts of this case even for a -time from the attention of an intelligent and sympathetic -jury.</p> - -<p>Mr. Shreek, as he brought his remarks to a close, -was so deeply moved by the scandalous nature of -the conduct of counsel for the defence, that Mr. -Weems was disposed to believe that the breach between -them was final and irreparable; but a moment -later, when Judge Winker decided that the trial -must proceed at once, Mr. Weems was surprised to -perceive his lawyer and Mr. Shreek chatting and -laughing together precisely as if Mr. Shreek had -not regarded Mr. Porter’s behavior with mingled -horror and disgust.</p> - -<p>In selecting the jurymen, the manifest purpose -of the lawyers upon both sides was to reject every -man of ordinary intelligence, and to prefer the persons -who seemed, from their appearance, least -likely to possess the power of reaching a rational -conclusion upon any given subject. And when the -jury had been obtained, Mr. Weems, looking at<span class="pagenum" id="Page_177">177</span> -them, thought that he had never, in all his life, seen -twelve more stupid-looking men.</p> - -<p>Leonie Cowdrick came in as the case opened, and -took a seat close by Mr. Pullock. She was dressed -with exquisite taste, and Mr. Weems was really -surprised to perceive that she seemed quite pretty.</p> - -<p>Her face was partly covered by a veil, and in her -hand she carried a kerchief, with which occasionally -she gently touched her eyes.</p> - -<p>It was clear enough that Mr. Pullock had her in -training for the purpose of producing effects upon -the jury, for whenever during the proceedings anything -of a pathetic nature was developed, Mr. Pullock -signalled her, and at once her handkerchief -went to her face.</p> - -<p>The trial endured through two days, and much -of the time was occupied by wrangles, squabbles, -and fierce recriminations between the lawyers, who, -after working themselves into furious passion, and -seeming ready to fall upon each other and tear -each other to pieces, invariably resumed their -friendly intercourse during the recesses, and appeared -ready to forgive and forget all the injuries -of the past.</p> - -<p>One of the jurymen was asleep during the larger -portion of the sessions upon both days; two others -paid no attention to the evidence, but persistently -gaped about the court-room, and the remainder -seemed to consider the quarrels between the counsel<span class="pagenum" id="Page_178">178</span> -as the only matters of genuine importance in -the case. During the first day Mr. Detective -Gunn came in, and seeing Mr. Weems, went over -to whisper in his ear that Cowdrick had been -arrested, and would reach town upon the morrow.</p> - -<p>“We had to take the reward,” said Gunn. “Not -one of his friends would give any more. It’s a -pity for the old man, too! I see well enough now -why <em>you</em> wouldn’t lend a hand.” And Mr. Gunn -looked toward Leonie, and laughed.</p> - -<p>When Mr. Porter was not engaged in examining -or cross-examining a witness, he addressed his attention -to the task of getting upon terms of jolly -good-fellowship with the members of the jury who -remained awake. He sat near to the foreman, and -he was continually passing jokes to that official, -with the back of his hand to his mouth—jokes -which the foreman manifestly relished, for he always -sent them further along in the jury-box.</p> - -<p>This mirthfulness appeared to have a very depressing -effect upon Mr. Pullock, for whenever he -observed it he assumed a look of deep mournfulness, -as if it distressed him beyond measure that -any one should have an impulse to indulge in levity -in the presence of the unutterable woe which -had made the life of his fair but heart-broken client -simply a condition of hopeless misery. And while -the reckless jurymen laughed, Mr. Pullock would -shake his head sadly, seeming to feel as if Justice<span class="pagenum" id="Page_179">179</span> -had expanded her wings and fled forever from the -tribunals of man; and then he would nudge the -lovely victim by his side, as a hint for her to hoist -her handkerchief as another signal to the jury that -she was in distress.</p> - -<p>But Mr. Porter’s humor, brutal and unfeeling -though it might be, could not be restrained. Particularly -did many of the points in the evidence -offered by the plaintiff impress him ludicrously; -and at times, when Mr. Shreek was developing -what he evidently regarded as a fact of high and -solemn importance, Mr. Porter would wink at the -foreman, and begin to writhe upon his chair in his -efforts to restrain himself from violating the decorum -of the Temple of Justice by bursting into uproarious -laughter.</p> - -<p>These rather scandalous attempts to convey to -the jurymen who were awake Mr. Porter’s theory -that the testimony for the prosecution was nonsense -of the most absurd description, and to impress -them with the belief that when Mr. Porter’s -turn came, he would knock it, so to speak, higher -than a kite, provoked Mr. Shreek to such an extent, -that, finally, he stopped short in his examination -of a witness, to snarl out to Mr. <span class="locked">Porter:—</span></p> - -<p>“What are you laughing at? I don’t notice anything -in the testimony that is so very funny!”</p> - -<p>“The muscles of my face are my own,” rejoined -Mr. Porter, “and I will use them as I please.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_180">180</span> -“But you have no right to divert the attention -of the jury by your buffoonery!” replied Mr. -Shreek, angrily.</p> - -<p>“I will laugh when, and how, and at what I -please,” said Mr. Porter. “I shall not accept any -dictation from you. It’s not my fault if you have -a ridiculous case!”</p> - -<p>“I will show you how ridiculous it is before I get -through,” answered Mr. Shreek.</p> - -<p>“I know all about it already!” said Mr. Porter.</p> - -<p>Then Mr. Shreek proceeded with his examination, -and Mr. Porter laughed almost out loud two -or three times, merely to show the jury that he regarded -Mr. Shreek’s remonstrance with positive -contempt. But it must be confessed that Mr. Porter’s -mirthfulness, in this instance, seemed to lack -heartiness and spontaneity.</p> - -<p>But when Mr. Porter’s turn came to address the -jury, his sense of humor had become completely -benumbed, while that of Mr. Shreek had undergone -really abnormal development; for Mr. Porter -could hardly attempt to plunge into pathos, or to -permit his unfettered imagination to take a little -flight, without Mr. Shreek’s humorous susceptibilities -being aroused in such a manner that the closure -of his mouth with his handkerchief alone prevented -him from offending the dignity of the Court.</p> - -<p>Mr. Porter’s appeal to the jury in behalf of his -client was based upon his asseveration that this<span class="pagenum" id="Page_181">181</span> -was the most intelligent jury that he had ever had -the honor of addressing, and upon his solemn -conviction that the jurymen not only represented -accurately the most respectable portion of the -community, but that, as upon this occasion the -jury system itself was upon trial to prove whether -it truly was the bulwark of liberty, that barrier -against injustice and oppression which it was vaunted -to be, so this jury were, it might be said, called -upon to determine whether the system was to retain -the respect and confidence of mankind or to -be branded by public sentiment as a wretched failure, -and to be regarded in the future by all honorable -men with loathing and contempt.</p> - -<p>As two of the jurymen happened to be Irishmen, -and one of them was a member of the Odd Fellows’ -Society, Mr. Porter did not neglect to allude -to the circumstance that Mr. Weems’s great-grandfather -was born in Ireland; and the learned counsel -took occasion to speak with indignant warmth -of the wrongs that have been endured by Ireland, -and to express his deep sympathy with her unfortunate -and suffering people.</p> - -<p>Of the noble aims and splendid achievements of -the Odd Fellows’ Society, it was hardly necessary -for Mr. Porter to speak at length. He could never -hope to command language of sufficient force to -explain his appreciation of the services rendered to -Society by this invaluable organization; but the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_182">182</span> -fact that both he and his client had for years belonged -to the sacred brotherhood, to which they -gave their energies and their devotion, was a sufficient -guarantee of the strength of their affection -for it.</p> - -<p>In concluding, Mr. Porter merely desired to direct -the attention of the gentlemen of the jury to -the fact that if designing women were to be permitted -to decoy unsuspecting men into contracts -of marriage merely for the purpose of securing by -artful means repudiation of the contract, so that -the ground would be laid for a demand for money, -then no man was safe, and no one could tell at -what moment he might fall into a snare laid for -him by an unprincipled adventuress. Mr. Porter -then expressed his entire confidence in the intention -of the jury to give a verdict for his client, and -he sat down with a feeling that he had discharged -his duty in an effective manner.</p> - -<p>Mr. Shreek, in reply, observed that he should -begin with the assertion that in two particulars -this was one of the most remarkable cases that it -had ever been his fortune to try. In the first place, -he was unable to refer to an occasion, during more -than twenty years’ experience at the bar, when he -had had the honor of addressing a jury so intelligent -and so worthy of being entrusted with interests -of the very highest character as this one was; -and never had he felt so much confidence as he now<span class="pagenum" id="Page_183">183</span> -felt when he came before these highly-cultivated, -keenly sagacious, and thoroughly representative -gentlemen to ask for justice, simple justice, for an -unhappy woman. In the second place, while it had -fallen to his lot to witness more than one painful -and repulsive scene, more than one example of the -capacity of human beings for reaching the deepest -depths of degradation, in their efforts to rob Justice -of her own, and to make her very name a by-word -and a reproach among the wise and the good, -he had never yet received so violent a shock as that -which came to him to-day, when, with mortification -and grief, he had heard a member of the bar, sworn -to seek to uphold the sanctity of the law and the -honor of a proud profession, not only misrepresent -the truth most villanously, but so far forget his -manhood as to stoop to insult, to revile, to smite -with a ribald and envenomed tongue, a fair and -noble woman, who already bent beneath an awful -load of domestic sorrow, and whose only fault was -that she had come here to seek redress for an injury -the depth of which no tongue could tell, the -agony of which the imagination of him who has -not fathomed all the mystery of a woman’s love -could never hope to realize. He would only say, -in dismissing this most distressing and humiliating -portion of the subject, that he left the offender to -the punishment of a conscience which, hardened -and seared though it was, still must have in store<span class="pagenum" id="Page_184">184</span> -for him pangs of remorse of which he, Mr. Shreek, -trembled to think.</p> - -<p>The learned counsel for the plaintiff asked the -gentlemen of the jury to review with him the facts -of the case, as presented to them by the evidence.</p> - -<p>Already they knew something of the trustfulness -and confidence of woman’s nature; their experience -within the sacred privacy of the domestic -circle had taught them that when a woman gave -her affection, she gave it wholly, never doubting, -never suspecting, that the object of it might be -unworthy to wear so priceless a jewel. Such a -creature,—the peerless being of whom the poet had -eloquently said, that Earth was a Desert, Eden was -a Wild, Man was a Savage, until Woman smiled—was -peculiarly exposed to the wiles of artful and -unscrupulous men, who, urged by those Satanic -impulses which appear in some men as unquestionable -proof of the truthfulness of the Scriptural -theory of demoniac possession, should attempt to -gain the prize only to trample it ruthlessly in the -dust.</p> - -<p>In this instance the destroyer came to find a -pure and beautiful love, with its tendrils ready to -cling fondly to some dear object. By honeyed -phrases, by whispered vows so soon to be falsified, -by tender glances from eyes which revealed none -of the desperate wickedness of the soul within, by -all the arts and devices employed upon such occasions,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_185">185</span> -the defendant had persuaded those tendrils to -cling to him, to entwine about him. Artless, unsophisticated, -unlearned in the ways of the sinful -world, the beautiful plaintiff had listened and believed; -and for a few short weeks she was happy -in the fond belief that this reptile who had crawled -across the threshold of her maiden’s heart was a -prince of men, an idol whom she might worship -with unstinted adoration.</p> - -<p>But she was soon to be undeceived. Choosing -the moment when her natural defender was absent, -when his coward’s deed could be done without the -infliction of condign punishment from him who -loved this his only child far better than his life, the -defendant, scoffing at the holiest of the emotions, -despising the precious treasure confided to his -keeping, and gloating over the misery inflicted -wantonly and savagely by his too brutal hand, cast -off her love, closed his ears to her sighs, observed -unmoved the anguish of her soul, and flung her -aside, heart-broken and despairing, while he passed -coldly on to seek new hearts to break, new lives to -blast and ruin, new victims to dupe and decoy with -his false tongue and his vile hypocrisy.</p> - -<p>In support of his assertions, Mr. Shreek proposed -to read to the jury some of the letters addressed -by the defendant to the plaintiff, while still -he maintained an appearance of fidelity to her; -and the jury would perceive more clearly than ever<span class="pagenum" id="Page_186">186</span> -the blackness of the infamy which characterized -the defendant’s conduct, when at last he showed -himself in his true colors.</p> - -<p>Mr. Shreek then produced a bundle of letters, -which had been placed in evidence; and when he -did so, the newspaper reporters sharpened their -pencils, the somnolent juryman awoke, the judge -laid down his pen to listen. Leonie again wiped -her eyes, and the crowd of spectators made a buzz, -which indicated their expectation that they were -going to hear something of an uncommonly interesting -nature.</p> - -<p>Mr. Weems alone seemed wholly sad.</p> - -<p>Mr. Shreek would first invite the attention of -the jury to a letter, dated simply “Tuesday morning,” -and signed with the name of the defendant. -It was as <span class="locked">follows:—</span></p> - -<blockquote> - -<p>“<span class="smcap">My Sweet Rosebud</span>” (laughter from the spectators),—“Before -me lies your darling little letter of yesterday. I -have read it over and over again, and kissed it many times.” -(Merriment in the court-room.) “Why do you wish that you -had wings, that you might fly away and be at rest?” (“No -wonder she wanted wings,” interjected Mr. Shreek.) “Am -I not all you wish?” (“He didn’t seem to be,” said Mr. -Shreek.) “Cannot I make you perfectly happy? Oh, how -I love you, my sweet, pretty, charming Rosebud! You are -all in all to me. I think I can look down the dim vista of -time, and see you going with me hand-in-hand through all -the long and happy years.” (“He was not quite so short-sighted -as he appears to be,” said Mr. Shreek; whereupon -there was general laughter. Even Leonie laughed a little.)<span class="pagenum" id="Page_187">187</span> -“And now, my own sweet love” (laughter), “I must bid you -good-night. I send you a thousand kisses from your own, -ever constant</p> - -<p class="sigright"> -<span class="smcap">Julius</span>.” -</p></blockquote> - -<p>“Rosebud! gentlemen,” said Mr. Shreek, as he -folded the letter away and took out another. -“Yes, a rosebud, and he the vile canker-worm that -was eating away its life! But this is only one of -many such effusions. Upon another occasion, he -says:</p> - -<blockquote> - -<p>“<span class="smcap">My Birdie</span>,” (general laughter,)—“This morning a -blessing came to me by the hands of the postman, and what -do you think? the writer did not sign her name, and I am -not sure whom I should thank, but I am going to risk thanking -you, my own dear, loving Leonie. Why do you call me -an angel, darling?” (“That,” observed Mr. Shreek, “was -enough to astonish him!” And then everybody laughed -again.) “I am only a plain, prosy man,” (“A close shave to -the truth,” said Mr. Shreek,) “but I am exalted by having -your love. If I were an angel, I would hover over you, my -sweet,” (“And very likely drop something on her,” added -Mr. Shreek,) “and protect you. You ask me if I think of -you often! Think of you, Leonie! I think of nothing -else.” (Laughter.) “You are always in my mind; and if I -keep on loving you more and more, as I am doing, I shall -die with half my love untold.” (Laughter. “Wonderful -how he loved her, wasn’t it?” remarked Mr. Shreek.) -“Again I send you a million kisses” (merriment), “and a -fond good-night, and pleasant dreams.</p> - -<p class="sigright"> -“Your adoring <span class="in2">J.</span>” -</p></blockquote> - -<p>“Observe,” said Mr. Shreek, taking out still -another letter, “how he mocked her! How hollow,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_188">188</span> -how infamous all of that sounds, in view of his -subsequent treachery!”</p> - -<p>Here Miss Cowdrick bowed her head and wept, -and Mr. Weems looked as if he felt that death at -the stake would be mere pastime in comparison -with this experience.</p> - -<p>“We now come,” said Mr. Shreek, “to letter -number three—a document which reveals this -moral monster in even a more hideous light.”</p> - -<blockquote> - -<p>“<span class="smcap">My Precious One</span>” (great laughter)—“How can I -ever thank you for the trouble you have taken to make me -those lovely slippers? They are two sizes too small for me” -(laughter); “but I can look at them and kiss them” (“He -was a tremendous kisser in his way, you observe,” said the -learned counsel), “and think of you meantime. I could not -come to see you last evening, for I sprained my ankle; but -I looked at your picture and kissed it” (laughter. “At it -again, you see,” said Mr. Shreek); “and I read over your -old letters. There is a knock at my door now, and I must -stop. But I will say, I love you. Oh, how I love you! my -life and my light.</p> - -<p class="sigright"> -Fondly your own <span class="in2"><span class="smcap">Julius</span>.</span>” -</p></blockquote> - -<p>“But,” continued the eloquent counsel for the -plaintiff, “this false lover, this maker of vows that -were as idle as the whispering of the summer -wind, did not always write prose to the unhappy -lady whom he had deceived. Sometimes he breathed -out his bogus affection through the medium of -verse. Sometimes he invoked the sacred Muse to -help him to shatter the heart of this loving and -trustful woman. With the assistance of a rhyming<span class="pagenum" id="Page_189">189</span> -dictionary, or perhaps having, with a bold and lawless -hand, filched his sweets from some true poet -who had felt the impulses of a genuine passion, he -wrote and sent to my lovely but unfortunate client -the following lines:</p> - -<div class="poem-container"> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="iq">“Sweetheart, if I could surely choose<br /></span> -<span class="i4">The aptest word in passion’s speech”—<br /></span> -</div></div> -</div> - -<p>“That,” said the counsel, “indicates that he -would steal his poetry if he could.”</p> - -<div class="poem-container"> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="iq">“And all its subtlest meaning use,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">With eloquence your soul to teach;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Still, forced by its intensity,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Sweetheart, my love would voiceless be!”<br /></span> -</div></div> -</div> - -<p class="in0">(Laughter.)</p> - -<p class="in0">“And heartless, as well as voiceless,” added the -counsel.</p> - -<div class="poem-container"> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="iq">“Sweetheart, though all the days and hours<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Sped by, with love in sharpest stress,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To find some reach of human powers,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Its faintest impulse to express,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Till Time merged in Eternity,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Sweetheart, my love would voiceless be!”<br /></span> -</div></div> -</div> - -<p class="in0">(Roars of laughter.)</p> - -<p>Mr. Shreek declared that he would read no more. -It made his heart sick—professionally, of course—to -peruse these revolting evidences of man’s inhumanity -to lovely woman; of the amazing perfidy -of the plaintiff, Weems. This voiceless lover, who -was not only voiceless, but shameless, feelingless,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_190">190</span> -and merciless as well, was now before them, arraigned -by that law whose foremost function was -to protect the weak, and to punish those who assail -the helpless. It rests with you, gentlemen, to say -whether the cry for help made to that law by this -desolate woman with the lacerated heart shall be -made in vain. So far as Mr. Shreek was concerned, -he felt perfectly certain that the jury would -award to his client the full amount of damages—a -miserable recompense, at the best—for which she -sued.</p> - -<p>The judge’s charge was very long, very dull, and -full of the most formidable words, phrases, and -references. Those who were able to follow it -intelligently, however, perceived that it really -amounted to nothing more than this: If you find -the defendant guilty, it is your duty to bring in -a verdict to that effect; while, upon the other -hand, if you find him not guilty, you are required -to acquit him.</p> - -<p>At six o’clock in the evening the jury retired, -and the court waited for the verdict. At six-thirty, -the jury sent to ask that the love-letters might be -given to them; and it was whispered about that -one of the jurymen had obtained the impression, -somehow, that they were written by Miss Cowdrick -to Weems. At a quarter past seven, the jury -wanted to know if they could have cigars; and -Mr. Porter sent them a couple of bundles at his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_191">191</span> -own expense. At eight, word came out that one -of the jurymen, evidently the slumberer, wanted a -question of fact cleared up: Was the man suing -the woman, or the woman the man? This having -been settled, the court waited until half past eight, -when, amid much excitement, the jury came in, and -disappointed everybody with the announcement -that it was quite impossible for them to agree.</p> - -<p>Mr. Porter whispered to Mr. Weems that there -was an Irishman upon that jury whom he felt confident -of from the first.</p> - -<p>The judge went over the case again briefly, -but learnedly and vaguely, and sent the jury back. -At nine o’clock the jury came into court a -second time, and presented a verdict of guilty, -imposing damages to the amount of five thousand -dollars.</p> - -<p>There was an outburst of applause; Leonie -leaned her head upon the breast of Mr. Pullock, -and wept from mingled feelings of joy and grief. -Mr. Shreek observed to Mr. Porter, that “this is -all we ever expected;” and Mr. Porter said to -Weems that he was lucky to get off so easily; for -he, Porter, had anticipated a much worse result.</p> - -<p>Poor Weems alone seemed to regard the verdict -with less than perfect satisfaction; and he -was no better pleased next morning, when Colonel -Hoker’s <i>Crab</i> and all the other papers came out -with reports of the trial in flaring type, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_192">192</span> -with the entire batch of love-letters, poetry and -all, in full.</p> - -<p>The journals also contained an announcement -that Mr. Cowdrick had been captured and brought -home, and had at once been released upon bail.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_193">193</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER V.</h3> -</div> - -<blockquote> - -<p class="center">MR. COWDRICK’S RETURN.—MR. WEEMS TAKES A -NEW VIEW OF HIS POSITION.—JUSTICE.</p></blockquote> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_193.png" width="66" height="68" alt="M" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword">Mr. Cowdrick</span> again sat in his easy-chair, -in his library, before the sham fire, -and with him sat his wife and daughter. -They were talking of the trial of Mr. Cowdrick, -which was to begin on the morrow.</p> - -<p>“It is very disagreeable, of course,” said Mr. -Cowdrick; “but in this life we have to take the -bitter with the sweet.”</p> - -<p>“But, oh, papa,” said Leonie, “how dreadful it -will be if the verdict goes against you. Do you -think they would actually send a man of your position -to a horrid prison?”</p> - -<p>“Leonie!” exclaimed Mrs. Cowdrick, “I am -surprised at your speaking of such things. Pray -don’t do it again. My nerves will not stand it.”</p> - -<p>“You need not be alarmed, my dear child,” said -Mr. Cowdrick, smiling. “My friends have arranged -things comfortably for me with the prosecuting attorney,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_194">194</span> -and the other authorities. I had an offer -made to me to have the jury packed in my interest, -but I was assured that it was unnecessary, and, besides, -I felt that it would perhaps be wrong for me -to descend to corruption.”</p> - -<p>“It is a terrible experience at the best,” said -Mrs. Cowdrick; “but there is some satisfaction in -the reflection that we are not reduced to absolute -poverty.”</p> - -<p>“That is my greatest consolation,” rejoined Mr. -Cowdrick. “Pinyard tells me that I may count on -saving at least two hundred and fifty thousand dollars -from the wreck; invested in good securities, too.”</p> - -<p>“Then we can go to a watering-place, next summer, -as usual?” asked Leonie.</p> - -<p>“Yes, dear.”</p> - -<p>“And can we keep our carriage and our servants, -and everything, just as before?”</p> - -<p>“Certainly; there will be no difference.”</p> - -<p>Leonie reflected for a moment, and then sighed -heavily.</p> - -<p>“And I think very likely,” said Mr. Cowdrick, -“that my poor little girl can have her lover back -again, if she wants him, too.”</p> - -<p>“Papa, what do you mean?” asked Leonie.</p> - -<p>“Why, I commissioned a man named Gunn, in -whom I have some confidence, to visit Weems, and -to sound him, to ascertain how he felt with regard -to the result of your suit.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_195">195</span> -“Well?”</p> - -<p>“Gunn reports to me that Weems feels repentant; -says he always loved you, and would give -anything to have the past recalled.”</p> - -<p>Here Mr. Cowdrick, having constructed a sturdy -falsehood, winked at his wife; and Leonie said:</p> - -<p>“Well, papa, I don’t know whether I am quite -willing to forgive him, but I confess that I care -more for Julius than for any other person.”</p> - -<p>“We shall see what can be done,” remarked Mr. -Cowdrick. “And now you must excuse me. I -have to go to meet my counsel to prepare for the -trial;” and Mr. Cowdrick withdrew.</p> - -<p>The interview between Mr. Weems and Mr. -Benjamin P. Gunn, to which Mr. Cowdrick alluded, -was conducted upon a rather different basis from -that indicated by the banker in his conversation -with Leonie.</p> - -<p>Mr. Gunn, upon his entrance to the studio of the -artist, began by expressing his regret at the issue -of the breach of promise suit.</p> - -<p>“Yes, confound it,” said Mr. Weems; “it is -hard, isn’t it? To think that that old faded flower -of a girl should be smart enough to get the better -of me in such a manner!”</p> - -<p>“The damages are heavy too,” said Gunn, -thoughtfully; “and I understand that she is firmly -resolved to compel you to pay the money.”</p> - -<p>“That is the worst of it! The mortification was<span class="pagenum" id="Page_196">196</span> -bad enough; but five thousand dollars to pay on -top of that! Why, it’s simply awful.”</p> - -<p>“The amount would cover the price of a good -many pictures, wouldn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Yes; and just now the market is so overloaded -with old masters, that they hardly fetch the value -of the canvas they are painted on. A house-painter -makes more money than an artist.”</p> - -<p>“It must be a desire for revenge that induces the -lady to be so eager for the money. She is not poor.”</p> - -<p>“I guess she is. Old Cowdrick will have to -give up everything, I suppose.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Gunn smiled, and looked wise. Then he -said, Mr. Weems, I’ll let you into a secret if you -will keep it to yourself.”</p> - -<p>“I will, certainly.”</p> - -<p>“Well, sir, I know,—I don’t merely think,—I -<em>know</em> that Cowdrick is going to come out of this -thing with at least a quarter of a million. He’ll be -just as comfortable as ever.”</p> - -<p>“That is nearly incredible.”</p> - -<p>“It is the truth, at any rate; and I can prove it.”</p> - -<p>“But how about his crimes? He is tolerably -certain to go to prison.”</p> - -<p>“What, Cowdrick? Cowdrick go to prison? -Not a bit of it! He is too respectable. That has -all been fixed in advance, unless I am misinformed.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Weems reflected in silence for a few moments. -Then Mr. Gunn, rising to go, <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_197">197</span> -“It is none of my business, sir, of course; I only -came in to give you the facts because I felt friendly -to you. But if I had my choice between paying -five thousand dollars and compromising with the -plaintiff, I know very well what I would do, particularly -if the plaintiff would rather have the man -than the money. Good morning, Mr. Weems;” -and Mr. Gunn withdrew.</p> - -<p>“A quarter of a million!” said Mr. Weems to -himself, as he sat alone, meditating upon the situation. -“What a fool I was. I might have known -that old Cowdrick would take care of himself and -soon get upon his legs again. I believe that man -Gunn was sent here to feel the way for a reconciliation, -and I have half a notion to attempt one. -I’ll make a movement toward it, anyhow. I’ll write -a letter to Cowdrick, and if he gets out of the -clutches of the law I will send it to him, and see if -we can’t make up the quarrel.”</p> - -<p>Then Mr. Weems went to his desk and penned -the following <span class="locked">epistle:—</span></p> - -<blockquote> - -<p class="in0">“<span class="smcap">Henry P. Cowdrick</span>, Esq.</p> - -<p>“<span class="smcap">Dear Sir</span>,—I write to you with much diffidence and -with deep apprehension as to the result, concerning a matter -in which my happiness is seriously involved. I need not rehearse -the facts concerning my unfortunate differences with -Leonie; but I wish to say that I shall never cease to regret -that a mere lovers’ quarrel, which should have been forgotten -and forgiven a moment afterwards, should have caused, under -the influence of senseless anger, a breach which, I fear, is now<span class="pagenum" id="Page_198">198</span> -irreparable. For my part, reflection upon my conduct in the -business makes me utterly miserable, for I cannot hide from -myself, and I will not attempt to hide from you, that my affection -for your daughter has lost none of its intensity because -of the occurrences of which I have spoken. I love her -now as fondly as I ever loved her; and though it should be -ordained by fate that we shall never meet again, I shall cherish -her image in my heart until my dying day, and I shall -never cease to breathe earnest petitions for her happiness.</p> - -<p>“Believe me,</p> - -<p class="sigright"> -<span class="l4">Yours very truly,</span><br /> -“<span class="smcap">Julius Weems</span>.” -</p></blockquote> - -<p>“That,” said Mr. Weems, “ought to bring him -to terms, if he really means business.”</p> - -<p>Then Mr. Weems folded the letter, directed it, -and slipped it into his pocket to await the result of -Mr. Cowdrick’s trial.</p> - -<p>It would be injudicious to linger over the details -of Mr. Cowdrick’s trial, lest we should have a surfeit -of legal proceedings. Both the prosecution and -the defence were conducted with vigor and ability, -and the jury, after remaining out for a very little -while, found Mr. Cowdrick guilty of sundry crimes -and misdemeanors of a particularly infamous -character.</p> - -<p>When the verdict had been presented, a singularly -affecting scene ensued.</p> - -<p>Amid a silence that was painful in its intensity, -the prosecuting attorney, hardly able to control his -emotion, rose to move that sentence be passed -upon the prisoner at the bar. In doing so, he took<span class="pagenum" id="Page_199">199</span> -occasion to remark that the prosecution had no desire -to crush to the earth the unfortunate gentleman -whom it had been compelled, in the performance -of a most unpleasant duty, to arraign before -the tribunal of justice. The lesson that men must -not betray their trusts, and recklessly misuse the -property of others, had been plainly taught by the -conviction. That was the leading purpose of the -prosecution; it was ample fulfilment of the demands -of the law and of society, and it supplied to other -men, especially to the young, a sufficiently solemn -warning against indulgence in extravagance and in -unwise speculation. It would be harsh—perhaps -even cruel—in this instance to inflict a severe penalty, -not alone because of the high social standing -of the prisoner at the bar, but because it was clear -enough that he did not take the money of others -solely for his own benefit, but for the advancement -of enterprises in which others were interested—enterprises -which seemed to him likely to promote -the industrial activity of the country, and to add -largely to the wealth of the nation. With these -remarks, he submitted the whole matter to the discretion -of the Court, earnestly hoping that his -Honor would find it possible to give to the prisoner -an opportunity to retrieve the past by his future -good conduct.</p> - -<p>As the prosecuting attorney sat down, the court-room -was bathed in tears.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_200">200</span> -Then the leading counsel for Mr. Cowdrick arose. -It was a moment or two before his feelings would -permit him to command his utterance; and when, -at last, he was able with a broken voice to speak, -he said that he could not find language of sufficient -warmth in which to express his sense of the justice, -the human kindness, the frank generosity of the -prosecuting attorney. These qualities, as here -exhibited, did credit to his head and heart, and entitled -him to the commendation of the wise and the -good. The learned counsel should never for a moment -believe his client to be guilty of that of which -he seemed to have been found technically guilty, -and he could add little to the fitting and eloquent -words that had just been spoken. It had been -written, “Vengeance is Mine,” and it was not for -an earthly tribunal to seek to inflict vengeance. -His client’s errors, if errors they really were, were -of the head, not of the heart; and he was sure that -the Court would never undertake to humiliate this -excellent and worthy man, who, during a long career, -had been an honored citizen of the community, -by even approaching a sentence which might make -him look like a felon. “I need hardly say to your -Honor,” continued the learned counsel, “that to -impose the extreme penalty provided in this case -would not only close the doors of the prison upon -this estimable citizen, but would bring desolation -to a happy home, would break the hearts of those<span class="pagenum" id="Page_201">201</span> -who are dear to him, and would achieve no good -purpose that has not already been attained.” -Trusting in the clemency of the Court, the learned -counsel sat down, while the court-room echoed the -sobs of the spectators.</p> - -<p>The judge, wiping his eyes, and trying hard not -to give way to his feelings, <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Mr. Cowdrick will please rise. As you are -aware, Mr. Cowdrick, I have but a single duty to -perform. I must impose the sentence as it is provided -by the law. I remember your social position, -and your former conduct as a worthy member of -society, and I have fully estimated the importance -of the suggestion that your offences were perpetrated -largely for the benefit of others. It gives -me, therefore, great pleasure to find in the statute -a limitation which enables me to inflict a penalty -less severe than, otherwise, I should have been -compelled to inflict. I impose upon you a fine of -five hundred dollars, as provided in the statute, you -to stand committed until the fine is paid.”</p> - -<p>As the judge pronounced the sentence, a great -cheer went up. Mr. Cowdrick’s counsel paid the -fine at once, and Mr. Cowdrick, after shaking hands -with the lawyers and receiving the apology of the -prosecuting attorney for pushing him so hard, took -his hat and walked out of the court-room a free and -happy man.</p> - -<p>Then a new jury was called to try a book-keeper,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_202">202</span> -who, because his salary was insufficient for the -support of his family, had stolen three hundred dollars -from his employer.</p> - -<p>The prosecuting attorney was unable to perceive -anything of a pathetic nature in the case, and when -the jury promptly brought in a verdict of guilty, -the judge, with a perfectly dry eye, sentenced the -prisoner to incarceration at hard labor for ten years.</p> - -<p>Although the Goddess of Justice is blindfolded, -she has sometimes a very discriminating sense of -the relative importance of sinners who come to her -for judgment.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_203">203</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER VI.</h3> -</div> - -<blockquote> - -<p class="center">CONGRATULATIONS.—RECONCILIATION.—TRUE -LOVE TRIUMPHANT.—THE WEDDING.—THE -END.</p></blockquote> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_203.png" width="66" height="68" alt="O" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword">One</span> of the first of Mr. Cowdrick’s friends -who called to congratulate him upon the -result of the painful ordeal to which he -had been subjected was Father Tunicle.</p> - -<p>“It must have been,” said the faithful pastor, “a -terrible strain upon a man of delicate sensibility to -sit there, uncertain what your fate would be. I -sympathize with you heartily, and rejoice that the -end was not worse.”</p> - -<p>“You are very kind,” said Mr. Cowdrick, smiling. -“Life is full of sorrows and afflictions for all of us; -and of course I cannot expect to escape bearing my -share of them.”</p> - -<p>“No; and it is a comfort to reflect that these -troubles are sent to us for our good. I shall expect -you now to be a more efficient worker than ever at -St. Cadmus’s.”</p> - -<p>“I don’t know,” replied Mr. Cowdrick reflectively.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_204">204</span> -“Possibly it might be better, all things -considered, if I should not resume my official -position in the church.”</p> - -<p>“But, really, you must,” answered Father Tunicle. -“You are still a member of the vestry, and -matters will move more smoothly now, for Yetts -has resigned. He was the thorn in my side.”</p> - -<p>“Where has Yetts gone?”</p> - -<p>“I believe he has taken a pew at St. Sepulchre’s, -which, you know, is extremely Low Church. Poor -Yetts! He has fallen very far! Do you know -that the rector of St. Sepulchre’s positively will not -use a red altar-cloth on martyrs’ days; and that he -walks to church with an umbrella upon the Festival -of St. Swithin,—a positive insult to the memory -of the saint.”</p> - -<p>“Incredible!” exclaimed Mr. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“I have it upon good authority. Such practices -do much to hinder the progress of the work of -evangelization.”</p> - -<p>“I should think so,” said Mr. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“And speaking of that work,” continued Father -Tunicle, “I want to obtain a little pecuniary -assistance from you. I have just prepared for -circulation among the depraved poor a little tract -upon the sufferings of St. Blasius of Cappadocia, -but I have not money enough to print it. Can you -help me?”</p> - -<p>“Certainly. How much do you want?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_205">205</span> -“Fifty dollars are all that I ought to ask for. -That sum, I think, will enable me to increase the -religious fervor of the poor in my parish to a notable -extent.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Cowdrick handed the money to the devoted -clergyman, who thereupon withdrew.</p> - -<p>Another early caller upon Mr. Cowdrick was an -agent of the Widows’ and Orphans’ Life Assurance -Company, in which the banker held a policy. This -gentleman, representing a corporation which a week -before was preparing to take legal measures to -contest Mrs. Cowdrick’s claim, brought with him -the Company’s last annual statement, and a formidable -array of other documents, with an intent -to persuade Mr. Cowdrick to have his life insured -for an additional twenty thousand dollars.</p> - -<p>Upon the second day after Mr. Cowdrick’s -release, also, the De Flukes sent to Mrs. Cowdrick -an invitation to a kettle-drum, together with a note -explaining that a former unfortunate recall of an -invitation was due to the colossal stupidity of a -servant who had since been dismissed.</p> - -<p>This very considerate behavior on the part of the -De Flukes had a favorable effect upon Mrs. Cowdrick’s -spirits. She brightened up in a wonderful -manner, and there seemed to be every reason for -believing that her load of sorrow was lifted at last.</p> - -<p>Colonel Hoker, writing in the <i>Crab</i> of the trial -and its results, explained to his readers that the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_206">206</span> -verdict was rather technical than indicative of -intentional wrong-doing, and he congratulated the -community that one of its most enterprising and -valuable citizens had succeeded in escaping from -the toils of complicated financial transactions in -which he had been enveloped by injudicious friends.</p> - -<p>Colonel Hoker was disposed to criticise with -some degree of severity Coroner McSorley’s absurd, -not to say wicked, performances with the unearthed -bones; but the violence of the indignation with -which he contemplated the phenomenal stupidity -and the grasping avarice of the coroner, with -respect to the remains in question, was greatly -tempered by the consideration that Coroner McSorley’s -brother was sheriff of the county, with an -advertising patronage estimated by good judges to -amount to not less than fifty thousand dollars a -year.</p> - -<p>When Mr. Cowdrick received the note addressed -to him by Mr. Weems, he replied briefly, asking the -artist to call upon him at his residence; and when -Mr. Weems did so, Mr. Cowdrick received him -with gravity, and with some degree of coolness.</p> - -<p>“Mr. Weems,” said the banker, “I sent for you -because I wished to discuss with you the matter -referred to in your note. My first impulse was to -take no notice of the communication, for I will not -conceal from you that your treatment of my -daughter had embittered me against you to such<span class="pagenum" id="Page_207">207</span> -an extent, that I felt as if I could never forgive you. -But my child’s happiness must be considered before -my own feelings. It is my duty and my privilege -so to consider them; and, to be frank with you, her -sufferings have been so intense within the last few -days, that I have felt myself willing to make almost -any sacrifice in order to alleviate them.”</p> - -<p>“Miss Leonie is not ill, I trust?” asked Mr. -Weems, with an admirably simulated look of alarm -upon his countenance.</p> - -<p>“Mr. Weems,” said Mr. Cowdrick, seriously, “it -may be injudicious for me to say so to you, because -it will give you an unfair advantage at the outset; -but Leonie has been deeply distressed at your -treatment of her. If I were a sentimental man, I -should say that her heart is breaking. She refuses -food, she is continually downcast and melancholy, -and in her broken sleep she babbles continually of -you.”</p> - -<p>“Poor thing!” said Mr. Weems, wiping his eyes.</p> - -<p>“Mrs. Cowdrick and I have been much distressed -because of her condition; but we should have been -at a loss for a remedy if your note had not suggested -one.”</p> - -<p>“I have been equally unhappy myself,” said Mr. -Weems. “I wrote because I could find relief for -my feelings in no other manner.”</p> - -<p>“Now that you are here,” continued Mr. Cowdrick, -“we might as well have a complete understanding.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_208">208</span> -Are you prepared to make a proposition -of any kind?”</p> - -<p>“I should like to offer a suggestion, if I dared.”</p> - -<p>“You have my permission to speak freely; and -I would add, in order to remove any misapprehension, -that Leonie Cowdrick need not seek an -alliance unless she chooses to do so, for her parents -are well able to maintain her in luxury.”</p> - -<p>“Well, Mr. Cowdrick,” replied Mr. Weems, -“what I have to say is, that if Leonie can forgive -and forget the past, it will give me the greatest -happiness to renew my engagement with her, and -to return to the conditions that existed before that -miserable quarrel occurred. Do you think she will -consent?”</p> - -<p>“Under some pressure from me and from her -mother, I think she will. For my part, I am willing -to overlook what has happened, and to receive -you once more into my family.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Cowdrick extended his hand, and Mr. -Weems shook it warmly.</p> - -<p>“And now, Mr. Weems,” said Mr. Cowdrick, -“there’s another matter, of which I wish to speak. -I refer to your art. Pardon me for asking you, but -although I shall make some provision for Leonie, -you, of course, must do something also. What is -the condition of your art—in a financial sense, I -mean?”</p> - -<p>“Well, business is a little dull just at this moment.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_209">209</span> -“I thought so. The proportion of old masters -in the market to the purchasing population is too -great. Can’t you take up something else?”</p> - -<p>Mr. Weems reflected for a moment upon the -painful lack of opportunities to rob banks with impunity -and profit, and then <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“No; I am afraid not. I am a painter and must -live by painting.”</p> - -<p>“Just so; but why not paint pictures that can -be sold readily?”</p> - -<p>“There is no money in landscapes, still-life, or -figure-pieces, unless a man has genius. A painter -of ordinary powers has no chance.”</p> - -<p>“But why not imitate genius, just as you imitate -the old masters?”</p> - -<p>“How do you mean?”</p> - -<p>“Genius is apt to be eccentric. If you make a -show of eccentricity, most persons will accept that -as a sure token of genius. You want to be odd, -novel, peculiar, altogether different from other -people.”</p> - -<p>“There may be something in that.”</p> - -<p>“Paint a Venus with feet like a fishwoman, and -with a cast in her eye. Paint a Moses with a -moustache and spectacles. Daub off a jet-black -night-scene, in which you can perceive nothing but -absolute, impenetrable gloom, and label it ‘A Meditation -upon Darkness;’ cover a canvas with blots -of white paint, with nothing but the bowsprit of a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_210">210</span> -ship visible, and call it ‘A Misty Morning in the -Harbor.’ That is the way to provoke criticism -and discussion, to acquire notoriety, and to find -purchasers.”</p> - -<p>“It is a good idea,” replied Mr. Weems. “I am -much obliged to you for it; I will accept it, and -act upon it.”</p> - -<p>“Would you like to see Leonie before you go?” -asked Mr. Cowdrick.</p> - -<p>“If she is willing, I should very much.”</p> - -<p>“I will speak to her about it, and prepare her -for the interview,” said Mr. Cowdrick, withdrawing -from the room.</p> - -<p>A moment later he returned with Leonie upon -his arm. She had her handkerchief to her eyes.</p> - -<p>“Leonie,” said Mr. Cowdrick, “this is Julius. -He asks you to forgive him.”</p> - -<div id="ip_210" class="figcenter" style="max-width: 26em;"> - <img src="images/i_210.png" width="416" height="604" alt="" /> - <div class="caption">“<span class="smcap">Then she Flew into his Arms.</span>”</div></div> - -<p>Leonie lifted up her head, and the lovers looked -at each other for an instant. Then she flew into -his arms before a word had been spoken by either -of them, and as he clasped her closely, she nestled -her head upon his bosom.</p> - -<p>Mr. Weems retained his self-possession so perfectly -during this touching scene that he was conscious -of the fracture of some cigars in his waistcoat -pocket by the presence of Leonie’s shoulder; -but he bore the disaster bravely, without flinching.</p> - -<p>Before he released his hold of her, Mrs. Cowdrick -entered the room, and was so much overcome by<span class="pagenum" id="Page_211">211</span> -the intensity of her emotions when she saw the lovers, -that she dropped upon the sofa, and remained -in a hysterical condition for at least ten minutes, -despite the efforts of Mr. Cowdrick to soothe her.</p> - -<p>When Mrs. Cowdrick’s emotion had at last been -brought to some extent under control, Mr. Cowdrick -suggested that it might be as well to fix at -once upon a day for the wedding, so that the two -lovers, after all the sorrows and misunderstandings -that had kept them apart, might enter the perfect -bliss and the sure serenity of wedlock.</p> - -<p>Mr. Cowdrick pressed for an early date, and although -Mrs. Cowdrick betrayed new and alarming -hysterical symptoms when her husband expressed -the opinion that all the arrangements might be -made within a week, she finally reconciled herself -to the selection by Leonie of a day exactly three -weeks distant.</p> - -<p>Upon the very next morning Mrs. Cowdrick and -Leonie began the work of preparation; and it is -unnecessary to say that while the labor continued, -both of them were in a state of nearly perfect felicity.</p> - -<p>If earth is ever to a woman a little heaven here -below, it is when she is called upon to go shopping -upon a large scale with a long purse. The female -mind experiences the purest joy when there are -bonnets to be trimmed, fabrics to be matched, -dresses to be made, underclothing to be stitched<span class="pagenum" id="Page_212">212</span> -and frilled, pillow-cases and sheets to be made up, -towels to be fringed and marked, furniture to be -selected, crockery to be purchased, and a general -fitting-out to be undertaken. Mrs. Cowdrick soon -had a dozen sempstresses employed, and every day -she and Leonie, in a frame of exquisite happiness, -made the round of the shops, gathering huge heaps -of parcels. One single touch of alloy came to mitigate -the intensity of their enjoyment. The diamond -merchant and the dealer in sealskin sacques, -having learned from harsh experience the peril of -Mrs. Cowdrick’s enthusiasm for nice things, unkindly -insisted upon making their contributions to -Leonie’s outfit upon a basis of cash in hand before -delivery of the goods. But then we must not expect -to have absolutely pure joy in this world.</p> - -<p>Cards for the wedding were sent out at once to -all of the friends of the bride and groom, and of Mr. -and Mrs. Cowdrick. Of course, it can hardly be -expected that the union of two lovers should excite -very tender sympathy among disinterested persons; -but it is rather melancholy to reflect that most of -the individuals who received cards from the Cowdricks -did not accept the compliment with unmixed -satisfaction. The first thought that occurred to -them upon reading the invitation was that they -would be compelled to expend something for wedding -presents, and many of them had a feeling, not -clearly defined, but still strong, that the marriage<span class="pagenum" id="Page_213">213</span> -of Cowdrick’s daughter was somehow a mean kind -of an attempt on Cowdrick’s part to levy tribute -upon them.</p> - -<p>The presents, however, soon began to come in. -Father Tunicle was heard from among the first. -He sent a sweet little volume of his sermons (the -lithographed discourse not being included among -them). The book had been published at the cost -of a few of the reverend gentleman’s admirers, -whose expectations of the result were rather disappointed -by the sale of no more than thirty-four -copies within two years. Father Tunicle sent the -book to Leonie, with a touching note, requesting -her especial attention to the sermon upon Auricular -Confession, upon page 75. Colonel Hoker, of -the <i>Crab</i>, sent a handsome silver-plated tea-set, -whose value to Leonie was not in any manner decreased -by the circumstance, unknown to her, that -the Colonel had taken it from a former advertiser -in payment for a bad debt. The De Flukes sent a -pair of elegant fish-knives quite large enough to -have served at a dinner where a moderate-sized -whale should follow the soup, and certainly utterly -useless for the dissection and distribution of any -fish of smaller dimensions than a sturgeon. The -Higginses, who were not in very good circumstances, -and who were trying hard to save up -enough money to pay for a fortnight’s visit to the -seaside in the summer, reluctantly sent a cake-basket,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_214">214</span> -because Mr. Cowdrick had given one to -Maria Higgins the year before, upon the occasion -of her union with Dr. Turmeric. If Mr. Higgins -had ventured, in the note he sent with the gift, to -express his true feelings, the vehemence of his utterance -would have made Leonie’s head swim; but, -happily, he controlled himself.</p> - -<p>A perfect outrage was, however, perpetrated by -Mr. John Doubleday, who had lost heavily by the -failure of Mr. Cowdrick’s bank. He positively had -the impudence to enclose to Leonie, with his compliments, -a cheque for one hundred dollars upon the -aforesaid late financial institution. Mr. Cowdrick -said that a man who was capable of doing a thing -of that kind was not fit to live in civilized society.</p> - -<p>Mr. Weems’s artist friends all sent pictures, -evidently with an intent that Weems should begin -his married life with the walls of his dwelling covered -with “pot-boilers,” whose unsalable qualities -made them as ineffective in that capacity as they -were in their pretensions to be regarded as works -of art. Weems felt, as he surveyed the collection, -that there must have been among the brethren an -organized conspiracy to unload upon him the -corners of the studios.</p> - -<p>Among the other presents received were travelling-cases, -which held nothing that anybody ever -wants upon a journey; cheap spoons put into a case -marked with the name of a first-class silversmith,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_215">215</span> -with an intent to create a wrong impression respecting -the quality of the wares; and a host of -trifles, most of them completely useless, and all of -them accounted by the bride and groom as so much -spoil collected under the duress of a custom which -is idiotic when it requires anything that is not a -genuine expression of affection or esteem.</p> - -<p>At last, when every indignant friend had sent in -a contribution, when all the dresses were made, the -bonnets constructed, and the frippery and fiddle-faddle -and frills arranged, the day of the wedding -came. It must be described, of course. But why -should an unpractised hand attempt to tell of it, -when there is, within easy reach, the narrative -written by the expert and dexterous fashion reporter -of the <i>Daily Crab</i>? Far better would it be to -transfer bodily to these pages that faithful and -complete description.</p> - -<blockquote class="p2"> - -<p class="center smaller">(<i>From the “Daily Crab.”</i>)</p> - -<p class="p1 center larger wspace">A WEDDING IN HIGH LIFE.</p> - -<p>“St. Cadmus’s Church, Perkiomen Square, yesterday -was the scene of one of the most brilliant -weddings of the season. For some weeks past the -approaching event has been an absorbing topic of -conversation in fashionable circles, the loveliness -of the bride-elect, the popularity of the fortunate -groom, and the high social standing of all the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_216">216</span> -interested parties having invested the matter with -more than ordinary importance. The bride was -Miss Leonie Cowdrick, only daughter of the well-known -ex-banker and philanthropist, Henry G. -Cowdrick, Esq., and herself one of the leading belles -of the <i xml:lang="fr" lang="fr">bon ton</i>. The groom was Julius Weems, -Esq., the artist, a man whose skill as a wielder of -the brush, not less than his qualities of head and -heart, have made him the idol of a large circle of -friends.</p> - -<p>“The wedding ceremony was announced for -half-past four in the afternoon; and long before -that hour the streets in the vicinity of St. Cadmus’s -were thronged with equipages belonging to the <i xml:lang="fr" lang="fr">élite</i> -of our society. None were admitted to the church -but those who were so happy as to possess cards; -the edifice, however, was densely thronged, with the -exception of the pews which were reserved in the -front for the immediate family and near relatives of -the high contracting parties.</p> - -<p>“The ushers, who officiated with rare delicacy -and discrimination, were Messrs. Peter B. Thomas, -Arthur McGinn Dabney, G. G. Parker, and Daniel -O’Huff—all of them brother artists of the groom’s, -and men well known in cultivated circles.</p> - -<p>“Professor Peddle presided at the organ, and -previous to the arrival of the bridal party he discoursed -most delicious music.</p> - -<p>“Among the distinguished persons who graced<span class="pagenum" id="Page_217">217</span> -the occasion with their presence, we noted the -<span class="locked">following:—</span></p> - -<p>“Major-Gen. Bung, Colonel Growler, Professor -Boodle, Rev. Dr. Wattles, Judge Potthinkle, Captain -Dingus, Major Doolittle, Hon. John Gigg, M.C., -Judge Snoozer, of the Supreme Court; Miss Delilah -Hopper (Minnie Myrtle), the famous authoress of -‘The Bride of an Evening,’ ‘A Broken Heart,’ etc., -etc., Professor Blizzard, State Entomologist; Governor -Tilby, Ex-Governor Raffles, Dr. Borer, U.S.A.; -Rear-Admiral Mizzen, U.S.N.; Senator Smoot, -Signor Portulacca, the Venezuelan Ambassador, -General Curculio, Minister from Nicaragua; General -Whisker, the railroad magnate; Colonel and Mrs. -Grabeau, Dr. Hummer, Thos. G. Witt, Esq., Hon. -John Grubb, Captain Mahoney, of the State Militia; -Professor Smith, of the University; Galusha M. -Budd, President of the Board of Trade; Hon. P. -R. Bixby, Mayor of the City; and many others.</p> - -<p>“At precisely five o’clock, Rev. Mr. Tunicle -entered the church in full ecclesiastical vestments, -accompanied by Rev. Dr. Pillsbury, and by Rev. -John A. Stapleton, an uncle of the bride’s. At this -juncture the organ sounded the first notes of the -Coronation March from ‘Il Prophete,’ and the bride -entered upon the arm of her father. Following her -came the groom, with Miss Lillie Whackle, the first -bridesmaid, and these were succeeded by the remainder -of the bridal party.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_218">218</span> -“The bride was dressed with exquisite taste, in -a white satin costume, which had creamy lace in -jabots down the waist and sides, mingled with pearl -trimmings; while the sleeves coming only to the -elbow, were made entirely of lace. The back was -left quite plain, with waist and skirt in one. Upon -her head she wore a dainty wreath of orange -blossoms, and, of course, the usual veil.</p> - -<p>“Among other costumes in the bridal party, we -noticed a Lyons tulle, made up over satin, with -flowing rosettes, and ribbons of white satin for -trimming.</p> - -<p>“Attention was directed also to a white tarletan -trimmed with Breton lace and insertions, and -covered with bows and loops and ends of satin -ribbon.</p> - -<p>“One of the ladies of the party wore a distinguished -costume of cream-colored satin, with -paniers of Pekin grenadine, with stripes of white -alternating with stripes of cream-color; there was a -satin corsage, plain, like a basque; and across the -front-breadths of the skirt there were soft puffs of -satin and grenadine.</p> - -<p>“Mrs. Cowdrick, the mother of the bride, appeared -in a regal toilette of black velvet and -diamonds.</p> - -<p>“The ceremony was read in a deeply impressive -manner by Rev. Mr. Tunicle, the bride being given -away, of course, by her father.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_219">219</span> -“Mrs. Cowdrick was so strongly affected by the -consciousness that her daughter was being taken -from her, that at the conclusion of the ceremony -she displayed some slight hysterical symptoms, -which for a moment threatened to create confusion. -She became calmer, however, and was led out from -the church by one of the ushers, weeping.</p> - -<p>“Professor Peddle then began Mendelssohn’s -Wedding March, and the proud and happy groom, -with his lovely wife upon his arm, turned to lead -the bridal party down the aisle.</p> - -<p>“We learn that a magnificent entertainment was -given later in the day at the residence of Mr. Cowdrick, -to his friends, and that the festivities were -prolonged until a late hour. It is understood that -the newly-married couple will spend their honeymoon -at Saratoga.”</p></blockquote> - -<p>The reporter was not admitted to the entertainment, -and so there is upon record no description -of it. But we might, if we chose, safely guess at -hot rooms, so crowded that motion was nearly -impossible; at absurd attempts to dance within -narrow spaces; at rows of wall-flowers along the -sides of the rooms; at inane attempts at conversation -between guests who were strangers to each -other; of groups of uncomfortable people trying to -appear as if they felt very happy; of a supper-table -loaded with rich viands for which well-dressed men<span class="pagenum" id="Page_220">220</span> -scrambled as if they had been fasting for weeks; -of ices spilled upon costly dresses, and champagne -glasses emptied upon fine coats; and, finally, of -departing guests in the gentlemen’s dressing-rooms, -saying unhandsome things to each other in sneering -whispers of the man whose hospitality they had -accepted.</p> - -<p>We can imagine these things; and perhaps if we -could have looked into the house at two o’clock in -the morning when the last guest had said farewell, -we might have heard Mr. Cowdrick say, as he -threw himself weary and worn in an easy-chair,—</p> - -<p>“Well, thank goodness, Louisa, Leonie is off of -our hands at last!”</p> - -<hr /> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_221">221</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 id="AN_OLD_FOGY">AN OLD FOGY.</h2> -</div> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_221.png" width="66" height="68" alt="T" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap q"><span class="firstword">“The</span> good old times! And the old times -<em>were</em> good, my dear; better, much better, -than the times that you live in. I know I -am an old fogy, Nelly,” said Ephraim Batterby, -refilling his pipe, and looking at his granddaughter, -who sat with him in front of the fire, with her head -bending over her sewing; “I know I am an old -fogy, and I glory in it.”</p> - -<p>“But you never will be for me, grandpa,” said -Nelly, glancing at him with a smile.</p> - -<p>“Yes, my dear, I am for everybody. I am a -man of the past. Everything I ever cared for and -ever loved, excepting you, belongs to the years that -have gone, and my affections belong to those years. -I liked the people of the old time better than I do -those of the new. I loved their simpler ways, the -ways that I knew in my boyhood, threescore and -more years ago. I am sure the world is not so -good as it was then. It is smarter, perhaps; it -knows more, but its wisdom vexes and disgusts -me. I am not certain, my dear, that, if I had my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_222">222</span> -way, I would not sweep away, at one stroke, all the -so-called ‘modern conveniences,’ and return to the -ancient methods.”</p> - -<p>“They were very slow, grandpa.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, slow; and for that I liked them. We go -too fast now; but our speed, I am afraid, is hurrying -us in the wrong direction. We were satisfied -in the old time with what we had. It was good -enough. Are men contented now? No; they -are still improving and improving; still reaching -out for something that will be quicker, or easier, or -cheaper than the things that are. We appear to -have gained much; but really we have gained -nothing. We are not a bit better off now than we -were; not so well off, in my opinion.”</p> - -<p>“But, grandpa, you must remember that you -were young then, and perhaps looked at the world -in a more hopeful way than you do now.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, I allow for that, Nelly, I allow for that; I -don’t deceive myself. My youth does not seem so -very far off that I cannot remember it distinctly. -I judge the time fairly, now in my old age, as I -judge the present time, and my assured opinion is -that it was superior in its ways, its life, and its -people. Its people! Ah, Nelly, my dear, there -were three persons in that past who alone would -consecrate it to me. I am afraid there are not -many women now like your mother and mine, and -like my dear wife, whom you never saw. It seems<span class="pagenum" id="Page_223">223</span> -to me, my child, that I would willingly live all my -life over again, with its strifes and sorrows, if I -could clasp again the hand of one of those angelic -women, and hear a word from her sweet lips.”</p> - -<p>As the old man wiped the gathering moisture -from his eyes, Nelly remained silent, choosing not -to disturb the reverie into which he had fallen. -Presently Ephraim rose abruptly, and said, with -a <span class="locked">smile,—</span></p> - -<p>“Come, Nelly dear, I guess it is time to go to -bed. I must be up very early to-morrow morning.”</p> - -<p>“At what hour do you want breakfast, grandpa?”</p> - -<p>“Why, too soon for you, you sleepy puss. I -shall breakfast by myself before you are up, or else -I shall breakfast down town. I have a huge cargo -of wheat in from Chicago, and I must arrange to -have it shipped for Liverpool. There is one thing -that remains to me from the old time, and that is -some of the hard work of my youth; but even that -seems a little harder than it used to. So, come -now; to bed! to bed!”</p> - -<p>While he was undressing, and long after he had -crept beneath the blankets, Ephraim’s thoughts -wandered back and back through the spent years; -and, as the happiness he had known came freshly -and strongly into his mind, he felt drawn more and -more towards it; until the new and old mingled -together in strange but placid confusion in his -brain, and he fell asleep.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_224">224</span> -When he awoke it was still dark, for the winter -was just begun; but he heard—or did he only -dream that he heard?—a clock in some neighboring -steeple strike <em>six</em>. He knew that he must get -up, for his business upon that day demanded early -attention.</p> - -<p>He sat up in bed, yawned, stretched his arms -once or twice, and then, flinging the covering aside, -he leaped to the floor. He fell, and hurt his arm -somewhat. Strange that he should have miscalculated -the distance! The bed seemed more than -twice as high from the floor as it should be. It -was too dark to see distinctly, so he crept to the -bed with extended hands, and felt it. Yes, it was -at least four feet from the floor, and, very oddly, it -had long, slim posts, such as bedsteads used to -have, instead of the low, carved footboard, and the -high, postless headboard, which belonged to the -bedstead upon which he had slept in recent years. -Ephraim resolved to strike a light. He groped his -way to the table, and tried to find the match-box. -It was not there; he could not discover it upon the -bureau either. But he found something else, which -he did not recognize at first, but which a more -careful examination with his fingers told him was a -flint and steel. He was vexed that any one should -play such a trick upon him. How could he ever -succeed in lighting the gas with a flint and steel!</p> - -<p>But he resolved to try, and he moved over<span class="pagenum" id="Page_225">225</span> -towards the gas-bracket by the bureau. It was not -there! He passed his cold hand over a square -yard of the wall, where the bracket used to be, but -it had vanished. It actually seemed, too, as if -there was no paper on the wall, for the whitewash -scaled off beneath his fingers.</p> - -<p>Perplexed and angry, Ephraim was about to replace -the flint and steel upon the bureau, and to -dress in the dark, when his hand encountered a -candlestick. It contained a candle. He determined -to try to light it. He struck the flint upon -the steel at least a dozen times, in the way he remembered -doing so often when he was a boy, but -the sparks refused to catch the tinder. He struck -again and again, until he became really warm with -effort and indignation, and at last he succeeded.</p> - -<p>It was only a poor, slim tallow candle, and -Ephraim thought the light was not much better -than the darkness, it was so dim and flickering and -dismal. He was conscious then that the room was -chill, although his body felt so warm; and, for fear -he should catch cold, he thought he would open the -register, and let in some warm air. The register had -disappeared! There, right before him, was a vast -old-fashioned fireplace filled with wood. By what -means the transformation had been effected, he could -not imagine. But he was not greatly displeased.</p> - -<p>“I always did like an open wood fire,” he said, -“and now I will have a roaring one.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_226">226</span> -So he touched the flame of the candle to the -light kindling-wood, and in a moment it was afire.</p> - -<p>“I will wash while it is burning up,” said -Ephraim.</p> - -<p>He went to the place where he thought he should -find the fixed wash-stand, with hot and cold water -running from the pipes, but he was amazed to find -that it had followed the strange fashion of the room, -and had gone also! There was an old hand-basin, -with a cracked china pitcher, standing upon a -movable wash-stand, but the water in the pitcher -had been turned to solid ice.</p> - -<p>With an exclamation of impatience and indignation, -Ephraim placed the pitcher between the -andirons, close to the wood in the chimney-place; -and he did so with smarting eyes, for the flue was -cold, and volumes of smoke were pouring out into -the room. In a few moments he felt that he should -suffocate unless he could get some fresh air, so he -resolved to open the upper sash of the window.</p> - -<p>When he got to the window he perceived that -the panes of glass were only a few inches square, -and that the woodwork inclosing them was thrice -thicker and heavier than it had been. He strove -to pull down the upper sash, but the effort was vain; -it would not move. He tried to lift the lower sash; -it went up with difficulty; it seemed to weigh a -hundred pounds; and, when he got it up, it would -not stay. He succeeded, finally, in keeping it open -by placing a chair beneath it.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_227">227</span> -When the ice in the pitcher was thawed, he -finished his toilette, and then he descended the -stairs. As nobody seemed to be moving in the -house, he resolved to go out and get his breakfast -at a restaurant. He unlocked the front door, and -emerged into the street just as daylight fairly had -begun.</p> - -<p>As Ephraim descended the steps in front of his -house, he had a distinct impression that something -was wrong, and he was conscious of a feeling of -irritation; but it seemed to him that his mind, for -some reason, did not operate with its accustomed -precision; and, while he realized the fact of a partial -and very unexpected change of the conditions of -his life, he found that when he tried, in a strangely -feeble way, to grapple with the problem, the solution -eluded him and baffled him.</p> - -<p>The force of habit, rather than a very clearly -defined purpose, led him to walk to the corner of -the street, just below his dwelling, and to pause -there, as usual, to await the coming of the horse-car -which should carry him down town. Following a -custom, too, he took from his waistcoat pocket two -or three pennies (which, to his surprise, had swollen -to the uncomfortable dimensions of the old copper -cents), and looked around for the news-boy from -whom he bought, every morning, the daily paper.</p> - -<p>The lad, however, was not to be seen; and -Ephraim was somewhat vexed at his absence, because<span class="pagenum" id="Page_228">228</span> -he was especially anxious upon that morning -to observe the quotations of the Chicago and -Liverpool grain markets, and to ascertain what -steamers were loading at the wharves.</p> - -<p>The horse-car was delayed much longer than he -expected, and, while he waited, a man passed by, -dressed oddly, Ephraim noticed, in knee-breeches -and very old-fashioned coat and hat. Ephraim said -to him, <span class="locked">politely,—</span></p> - -<p>“Can you tell me, sir, where I can get a morning -paper in this neighborhood? The lad I buy from, -commonly, is not at his post this morning.”</p> - -<p>The stranger, stopping, looked at Ephraim with -a queer expression, and presently <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“I don’t think I understand you; a <em>morning</em> -paper, did you say?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, one of the morning papers; the <i>Argus</i> or -<i>Commercial</i>—any of them.”</p> - -<p>“Why, my dear sir, there is but one newspaper -published in this city. It is the <i>Gazette</i>. It comes -out on Saturday, and this, you know, is only -Tuesday.”</p> - -<p>“Do you mean to say that we have no daily -papers?” exclaimed Ephraim, somewhat angrily.</p> - -<p>“<i>Daily</i> papers! Papers published every day! -Why, sir, there is not such a newspaper in the -world, and there never will be.”</p> - -<p>“Pshaw!” said Ephraim, turning his back upon -the man in disgust.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_229">229</span> -The stranger smiled, and, shaking his head as if -he had serious doubts of Ephraim’s sanity, passed -onward.</p> - -<p>“The man is cracked,” said Ephraim, looking -after him. “No daily papers! The fellow has just -come from the interior of Africa, or else he is an -escaped lunatic. It is very queer that car does not -come,” and Ephraim glanced up the street anxiously. -“There is not a car in sight. A fire somewhere, I -suppose. Too bad that I should have lost so much -time. I shall walk down.”</p> - -<p>But, as Ephraim stepped into the highway, he -was surprised to find that there were no rails there. -The cobblestone pavement was unbroken.</p> - -<p>“Well, upon my word! This is the strangest -thing of all. What on earth has become of the -street-cars? I must go afoot, I suppose, if the distance -<em>is</em> great. I am afraid I shall be too late for -business, as it is.”</p> - -<p>As he walked onward at a rapid pace, and his -eyes fell upon the buildings along the route, he was -queerly sensible that the city had undergone a -certain process of transformation. It had a familiar -appearance, too. He seemed to know it in its -present aspect, and yet not to know it. The way -was perfectly familiar to him, and he recognized all -the prominent landmarks easily, and still he had -an indefinable feeling that some other city had -stood where this did; that he had known this very<span class="pagenum" id="Page_230">230</span> -route under other conditions, and that the later -conditions were those that had passed away, while -those that he now saw belonged to a much earlier -period.</p> - -<p>He felt, too, that the change, whatever it was, -had brought a loss with it. The buildings that -lined the street now he thought very ugly. They -were old, misshapen, having pent-roofs with absurdly -high gables, and the shop-windows were -small, dingy, and set with small panes of glass. He -had known it as a handsome street, edged with -noble edifices, and offering to the gaze of the pedestrian -a succession of splendid windows filled with -merchandise of the most brilliant description.</p> - -<p>But Ephraim pressed on with a determination to -seek his favorite restaurant, for he began to feel -very hungry. In a little while he reached the corner -where the restaurant should have been, but to -his vexation he saw that the building there was a -coffee-house of mean appearance, in front of which -swung a blurred and faded sign.</p> - -<p>He resolved to enter, for he could get a breakfast -here, at least. He pushed through the low -doorway and over the sanded floor into a narrow -sort of box, where a table was spread; and, as he -did so, he had a hazy feeling that this, too, was -something that he was familiar with.</p> - -<p>“It must be,” he said, “that my brain is producing -a succession of those sensations that I have<span class="pagenum" id="Page_231">231</span> -had sometimes before, which persuade the credulous -that we move continually in a circle, and forever -live our lives over again.”</p> - -<p>As he took his seat a waiter approached him.</p> - -<p>“Give me a bill of fare,” said Ephraim.</p> - -<p>“Bill of fare, sir? Have no bill of fare, sir. Never -have them, sir; no coffee-house has them, sir. -Get you up a nice breakfast though, sir.”</p> - -<p>“What have you got?”</p> - -<p>“Ham, sir; steak, sir; boiled egg, sir; coffee, tea, -muffins. Just in from furrin countries, sir, are you?”</p> - -<p>“Never mind where I am from,” said Ephraim, -testily. “Bring me a broiled steak, and egg, and -some muffins and coffee, and bring them quickly.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, sir; half a minute, sir. Anything else, sir?”</p> - -<p>“Bring me a newspaper.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, sir; here it is, sir, the very latest, sir.”</p> - -<p>Ephraim took the paper, and glanced at it. It -was the <i>Weekly Gazette</i>, four days old; a little -sheet of yellow-brown paper, poorly printed, containing -some fragments of news, and nothing later -from Europe than November 6, although the <i>Gazette</i> -bore date December 19. So soon as Ephraim -comprehended its worthlessness, he tossed it contemptuously -upon the floor, and waited, almost -sullenly, for his breakfast.</p> - -<p>When it came in upon the tray, carried by the -brisk waiter, it looked dainty and tempting enough, -and the fumes that rose from it were so savory that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_232">232</span> -he grew into better humor. As it was spread before -him, he perceived that the waiter had given -him a very coarse, two-pronged steel fork.</p> - -<p>“Take that away,” said Ephraim, tossing it to -the end of the table; “I want a silver fork.”</p> - -<p>“Silver fork, sir! Bless my soul, sir! We haven’t -got any; never heard of such a thing, sir.”</p> - -<p>“Never heard of a silver fork, you idiot!” -shouted Ephraim; “why, everybody uses them.”</p> - -<p>“No, sir; I think not, sir. I’ve lived with first -quality people, sir, and they all use this kind. Never -saw any other kind, sir; didn’t know there was -any. Do they have ’em in furrin parts, sir?”</p> - -<p>“Get out!” said Ephraim, savagely. He was -becoming somewhat annoyed and bewildered by the -utter disappearance of so many familiar things.</p> - -<p>But the breakfast was good, and he was hungry, -so he fell to with hearty zest, and, although he -found the steel fork clumsy, it did him good service. -At the conclusion of the meal, Ephraim -walked rapidly to his office—the office that he had -occupied for nearly sixty years. As he opened the -door, he expected to find his letters in the box -wherein the postman thrust them twice or thrice -a day. They were not there. The box itself was -gone.</p> - -<p>“Too bad! too bad!” exclaimed Ephraim. “Everything -conspires to delay me to-day. I suppose -I must sit here and wait for that lazy letter-carrier<span class="pagenum" id="Page_233">233</span> -to come, and meantime my business must wait -too.”</p> - -<p>With the intent not to lose the time altogether, -Ephraim resolved to write a letter or two. He took -from the drawer a sheet of rough white paper, and -opened his inkstand. He could not find his favorite -steel pen anywhere, and there were no other -pens in the drawer, only a bundle of quills. Ephraim -determined to try to use one of these. He -ruined four, and lost ten minutes before he could -make with his knife a pen good enough to write -with; but with this he finished his letter. Then he -had another hunt for an envelope, but he could find -one nowhere, and nothing was to be done but to fold -the sheet in the fashion that he had known in his -boyhood, and to seal it with sealing-wax. He -burned his fingers badly while performing the last-named -operation.</p> - -<p>Still the postman had not arrived, and Ephraim, -being very anxious to mail his letter, resolved to go -out and drop it into the letter-box at the corner of -the street. When he reached the corner, he found -that the letter-box had disappeared as so many -other things had done; so he resolved to push on -to the post-office, where he could leave the letter -and get his morning’s mail. As he approached -what he had supposed was the post-office, he was -dismayed to perceive that another building occupied -the site. The post-office had vanished.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_234">234</span> -He turned to a man standing with a crowd which -was observing him, and asked him where the post-office -could be found. Obeying the direction, he -sought the place and found it. Rushing to the -single window, behind which a clerk stood, he -<span class="locked">asked,—</span></p> - -<p>“Are there any letters for Ephraim Batterby?”</p> - -<p>“I think not,” said the clerk; “there will be no -mail in till to-morrow.”</p> - -<p>“Till to-morrow!” shouted Ephraim. “What is -the matter?”</p> - -<p>“The matter! nothing at all. What’s the matter -with you?”</p> - -<p>“I am expecting letters from New York and -Chicago. Are both mails delayed?”</p> - -<p>“Chicago’s a place I never heard of, and the -mail from New York comes in only three times a -week. It came yesterday, and it will come in -to-morrow.”</p> - -<p>“Three times a week!” exclaimed Ephraim; -“why, it comes four or five times a day, unless I -am very much mistaken.”</p> - -<p>The clerk turned to a fellow-clerk behind him -and said in a low tone something at which both -laughed.</p> - -<p>“How do you suppose the mails get here four or -five times a day?” asked the clerk.</p> - -<p>“Upon the mail trains, of course,” replied Ephraim, -tartly; and then the clerks laughed again.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_235">235</span> -“Well, sir,” said the man at the window, “we -don’t appear to understand each other; but it may -straighten things out if I tell you that the New -York mails come here upon a stage-coach, which -takes twenty-four hours to make the journey, and -which reaches here on Mondays, Wednesdays, and -Fridays.”</p> - -<p>Ephraim was about to make an angry reply, but -the clerk shut the window and made further discussion -impossible. For a moment Ephraim was -puzzled. He stopped to think what he should do -next, and while he was standing there, he noticed -a curious crowd gathering about him, a crowd -which seemed to regard him with peculiar interest. -And now and then a rude fellow would make facetious -comments upon Ephraim’s dress, at which -some of the vulgar would laugh. Ephraim was -somewhat bewildered, and his confusion became -greater when he observed that all of the bystanders -wore knee-breeches and very ugly high collars and -cravats, in which their chins were completely buried. -Ephraim perceived near to him a gentleman -who held in his hand a newspaper. Encouraged -by his friendly countenance, Ephraim said to <span class="locked">him,—</span></p> - -<p>“I am rather confused, sir, by some unexpected -changes that I have found about here this morning, -will you be good enough to give me a little information?”</p> - -<p>“With pleasure, sir.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_236">236</span> -“I have missed some important letters that I -looked for from New York and the West. I wish -to communicate with my correspondents at once. -Will you please tell me where I can find the telegraph -office?”</p> - -<p>“The telegraph office! I don’t understand you, -sir.”</p> - -<p>“I wish to send messages to my friends at those -points.”</p> - -<p>“Well, sir, I know of no other way to send them -than through the post-office here.”</p> - -<p>“Do you mean to say that there is no telegraph -line from here to New York?”</p> - -<p>“My dear sir, what do you mean by a telegraph -line?”</p> - -<p>“A telegraph line—a line of wire on which I -can send messages by electricity.”</p> - -<p>“I fear something is wrong with you, sir,” said -the gentleman gravely. “No such thing exists. -No such thing can exist.”</p> - -<p>“Nonsense!” said Ephraim, waxing indignant. -“How do you suppose the afternoon papers to-day -will get the quotations of the Liverpool markets of -to-day? How will the brokers learn to-day the -price of securities at the meeting of the London -Stock Exchange this morning?”</p> - -<p>“You are speaking very wildly, sir,” said the -gentleman, stepping close to Ephraim and using a -low tone, while the crowd laughed. “You must be<span class="pagenum" id="Page_237">237</span> -more careful, or persons will regard you as insane.”</p> - -<p>“Insane! Why? Because I tell you, what everybody -knows, that we get cable news from Europe -every day.”</p> - -<p>“Cable news! cable news! What does the old -fool mean?” shouted the crowd.</p> - -<p>“What do I mean!” exclaimed Ephraim, in a -passion; “I mean that you are a pack of idiots for -pretending to believe that there is no such thing as -a telegraph, and no such thing as a telegraph cable -to Europe.”</p> - -<p>The crowd sent up a shout of derisive laughter -and rushed at him as if to hustle him and use him -roughly. The gentleman to whom he had spoken -seized him by the arm and hurried him away. -When they had turned the corner, the man stopped -and said to <span class="locked">Ephraim,—</span></p> - -<p>“You appear to be a sane man, although you -speak so strangely. Let me warn you to be more -careful in the future. If you should be taken up as -a madman and consigned to a madhouse, you would -endure terrible suffering, and find it very difficult -to secure release.”</p> - -<p>“I <em>am</em> perfectly sane,” said Ephraim, “and I -cannot comprehend why you think what I have said -strange. I wanted my letters, and I wished in -their absence to correspond by telegraph, because -I am expecting a cargo of wheat to-day, which I -am to ship to Liverpool by steamer.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_238">238</span> -“By steamer! There you go again. Nobody can -know what you mean by ‘steamer.’”</p> - -<p>“Steamer! Steamship! A ship that crosses the -ocean by steam, without sails. You know what -that is, certainly?”</p> - -<p>“I have heard some talk about a rattle-trap invention -which used steam to make a little boat -paddle about on the river here; but as for crossing -the ocean—well, my dear sir, that is a little too -ridiculous.”</p> - -<p>“Ridiculous! Why—”</p> - -<p>“Pardon me,” said the man, “I see you are incorrigible; -I must bid you good morning;” and he -bowed politely and walked quickly away.</p> - -<p>“Well, well!” said Ephraim, standing still and -looking after him helplessly. “It’s queer, very -queer. I don’t begin to understand it at all, I am -half inclined to believe that the world has conspired -to make game of me, or else that my poor wits -really are astray. I don’t feel as certain of them as -a clear-headed man should.”</p> - -<p>While he spoke, the bells of the city rang out an -alarm of fire with furious clangor, and in a few -moments he saw, dashing past him, an old-fashioned -hand-engine, pulled by a score or two of men who -held a rope. The burning building was not many -hundred yards distant from Ephraim, and he felt an -inclination to see it. When he reached the scene, -men with leathern buckets were pouring water into<span class="pagenum" id="Page_239">239</span> -the engine, while other men were forcing the -handles up and down, with the result that a thin -stream fell upon the mass of flame.</p> - -<p>He had an impulse to ask somebody why the -steam fire-engines were not used, but every one -seemed to be excited and busy, and he remembered -what his friend had said to him about steamers.</p> - -<p>So he expressed his disgust for the stupidity of -these people in a few muttered ejaculations; and -then, suddenly, bethought him of his business.</p> - -<p>He resolved to go down to the wharf where he -had expected to ship his cargo, and to ascertain -what the situation was there.</p> - -<p>As he came near to the place, he saw that it had -changed since he last saw it, but a handsome ship -lay in the dock, and men were carrying bags of -grain aboard of her.</p> - -<p>“That must be my cargo,” he said; “but what -on earth do they mean by loading it in that manner, -and upon a sailing vessel?”</p> - -<p>He approached the man who seemed to be superintending -the work, and <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Is this Ephraim Batterby’s wheat?”</p> - -<p>The man looked at him in surprise for a moment, -and then, smiling, <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“No, sir; it is Brown and Martin’s.”</p> - -<p>“When did it arrive?”</p> - -<p>“Yesterday.”</p> - -<p>“By rail?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_240">240</span> -“By rail! What do you mean by that?”</p> - -<p>“I say, did it come by rail?”</p> - -<p>“Well, old man, I haven’t the least idea what -you mean by ‘rail,’ but if you want to know, I’ll -tell you the grain came by canal-boat.”</p> - -<p>“From Chicago?”</p> - -<p>“Never heard of Chicago. The wheat came -from Pittsburg. What are you asking for, any -way?”</p> - -<p>“Why, I’m expecting some myself, by rail from -Chicago, and I intend to ship it to Liverpool in a -steamer—that is,” added Ephraim, hesitatingly, -“if I can find one.”</p> - -<p>“Chicago! rail! steamer! Old chap, I’m afraid -you’re a little weak in the top story. What do you -mean by Chicago?”</p> - -<p>“Chicago! Why, it’s a city three or four hundred -miles west of Pittsburg; a great centre for -the western grain traffic. Certainly you must have -heard of it.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, come now, old man, you’re trying to guy -me! I know well enough that the country is a -howling wilderness, three hundred miles beyond -Pittsburg. Grain market! That’s good!”</p> - -<p>“I don’t know,” said Ephraim, somewhat feebly. -“It used to be there. And I expected a cargo of -wheat from Chicago to be here this morning, by -railroad.”</p> - -<p>“What kind of a railroad?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_241">241</span> -“A railroad: iron rails, with cars propelled with -steam! I expected to find an elevator here to put -the grain on board of an iron vessel; to load the -whole twenty thousand bushels to-day; but things -have gone wrong somehow, and I don’t understand -precisely why!”</p> - -<p>“Bill,” said the man, turning to a young fellow, -one of his assistants, near him, “trot this poor old -chap up to the mayor’s office, so that he’ll be taken -care of. He’s talking to me about bringing twenty -thousand bushels of wheat on a rail, and loading it -in an iron vessel—an iron vessel, mind you—in -one day! It’s a shame for the old fellow’s relations -to let him wander about alone.”</p> - -<p>Before “Bill” had a chance to offer his assistance, -Ephraim, alarmed, and more than ever bewildered, -walked quickly away.</p> - -<p>As he gained the street, a man of about middle -age suddenly stopped in front of him, and <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Good morning, Mr. Batterby.”</p> - -<p>Ephraim had gotten into such a frame of mind, -that he was almost startled at the sound of his -own name.</p> - -<p>He looked hard at the stranger, but, although -the features were somewhat familiar, he could not -really recognize the man.</p> - -<p>“Don’t know me, Batterby? Impossible! Don’t -know Tony Miller!”</p> - -<p>“Bless my soul!” exclaimed Ephraim; “Tony<span class="pagenum" id="Page_242">242</span> -Miller! so it is! Tony Miller! Not Tony Miller? -Why—why—why, Miller, I thought you died -thirty years ago!”</p> - -<p>“Died! ha, ha! Not a bit of it, man. Why, -it’s absurd! I saw you only two or three weeks -since!”</p> - -<p>“Strange, strange!” said Ephraim, almost sadly, -in his mind trying to recall some fragments of the -past. “I could have sworn that you were dead!”</p> - -<p>“No, sir; just as hearty and lively as I ever -was. By the way, Mr. Batterby, what has become -of Ephraim? I don’t see him about any more.”</p> - -<p>“Ephraim? Ephraim Batterby? Why, who do -you think I am?”</p> - -<p>“Joshua Batterby, of course; who else? You -don’t seem very well to-day, I think.”</p> - -<p>“He mistakes me for my father,” said Ephraim -to himself. “When will all this wild, puzzling mystery -end?” Then, addressing Miller, he said, -“I would like to have some conversation with you, -Miller; I am strangely confused and upset to-day.”</p> - -<p>“Certainly; be glad to have a chat with you. I -say, suppose you come home and dine with me? I -am on my way to dinner now. Will you go?”</p> - -<p>“Gladly,” replied Ephraim.</p> - -<p>As they walked on, Miller, with intent to break -the silence, <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“I think we shall have rain to-day, Mr. Batterby.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_243">243</span> -“Perhaps; it looks like it. What does the signal -service say?”</p> - -<p>“What does the <em>what</em> say?”</p> - -<p>“The signal service. What are the indications?”</p> - -<p>“I haven’t the least idea what you mean, Mr. -Batterby.”</p> - -<p>“Why,” said Ephraim, timidly, “were you not -aware that a bureau in the War Department collects -information which enables it to indicate approaching -conditions of the weather, and that it gives -this information to the newspapers?”</p> - -<p>“Never heard of such a thing, Mr. Batterby, -and I don’t believe it. Somebody has been joking -with you. The only weather indications we have are -in the almanacs, and they are not at all reliable.”</p> - -<p>The two walked along in silence for a time, and -then Ephraim <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Miller!”</p> - -<p>“Well?”</p> - -<p>“I am going to ask you a good many queer -questions to-day, for a private purpose of my own; -will you agree to answer them candidly?”</p> - -<p>“If I can.”</p> - -<p>“And not to think me insane, or absurd, or -stupid?”</p> - -<p>“Of course I should not think so.”</p> - -<p>“Very well,” said Ephraim; “and when we are -done, I may explain why I asked them, and perhaps -you can solve a mystery for me.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_244">244</span> -They reached the house and entered it. The -first thing Miller did was to proceed to the side-board, -fill two glasses with wine from a decanter, -and ask Ephraim to drink.</p> - -<p>“Thank you,” said Ephraim, “I never touch it.”</p> - -<p>Miller looked at him for a moment in amazement. -He concluded that this must be one of the -phases of Batterby’s newly-developed queerness. -So he emptied his own glass and put it down.</p> - -<p>They entered the parlor to wait for dinner. -Ephraim’s eye was caught by a very pretty miniature -on the wall.</p> - -<p>“Who is that?” he asked.</p> - -<p>“Mrs. Miller; my wife.”</p> - -<p>“Is it a photograph?”</p> - -<p>“I don’t know what a photograph is.”</p> - -<p>“Ah!” sighed Ephraim, “I remember. Let me -ask you something else. Did you ever hear of a -place named Chicago?”</p> - -<p>“Never! there is no such place.”</p> - -<p>“You know nothing of railroads, or steamships, -or telegraphs?”</p> - -<p>“You are talking Greek to me.”</p> - -<p>“Did you ever hear of a telegraph cable to -Europe?”</p> - -<p>“Well, you <em>are</em> asking queer questions, sure -enough. No, I never did.”</p> - -<p>“Is there, or is there not, a railway line across -the continent to the Pacific?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_245">245</span> -“What a funny kind of an idea! No, there -isn’t.”</p> - -<p>“Are there any such things as daily papers?”</p> - -<p>“No, sir.”</p> - -<p>“One question more: I see you have a wood -fire. Do you never burn coal?”</p> - -<p>“Charcoal, sometimes, for some purposes.”</p> - -<p>“I mean hard coal—stone coal?”</p> - -<p>“There is no such thing in existence, so far as I -know. What are you up to, anyhow? Going to -invent something?”</p> - -<p>“I will tell you after awhile, may be,” replied -Ephraim; and then to himself he said, “I am beginning -to catch the meaning of all this experience. -How strange it is!”</p> - -<p>A lady entered from the front door, and passed -the parlor. Ephraim saw that she had on a very -narrow dress, with a high waist almost beneath -her armpits, that she wore upon her head an enormous -and hideous green “calash” which bore -some resemblance to a gig-top.</p> - -<p>He had not seen one of those wonderful bits of -head-gear for fifty years.</p> - -<p>In a few moments the lady entered the parlor. -As Mr. Miller presented Batterby to his wife, -Ephraim was shocked to perceive that she seemed -to have on but a single, thin, white garment, and -that even this appeared to be in immediate danger -of slipping downward. He thought it shockingly<span class="pagenum" id="Page_246">246</span> -immodest, but he remembered the figures of women -he had seen in the remote past, and thought he -knew what this meant. So he gave no indication -of surprise.</p> - -<p>They went to the dining-room. Ephraim was -very careful in conducting his share of the conversation. -Mrs. Miller, unlike her husband, had -not been forewarned. However, once, when she -was lamenting the absence of fruits and vegetables -from the markets in winter, Ephraim incautiously -asked her why she did not use canned goods; and -this opened the way to some vexatious questions. -A little later, Miller began talking about the -Warners, people whom Ephraim in his soul knew -had been dead forty years; and Miller had mentioned -that two of them were down with smallpox. -Thereupon Ephraim asked if the malady -was prevalent, and if Miller had been vaccinated. -And thus again he got into trouble, for neither his -host nor hostess knew his meaning. He was -tripped up again by a reference to sewing-machines; -and, finally, by remarking, innocently, -when Miller observed that it had just begun to -rain, that he was sorry he had not his rubbers -with him.</p> - -<p>But he would not try to explain his meaning -when they pressed him. He had, indeed, an -increasing tendency to taciturnity. He shrank<span class="pagenum" id="Page_247">247</span> -more and more from the thought of attempting a -discussion of the situation in which some wondrous -mischance had placed him. As Miller waxed -boisterous and lively in his talk, Ephraim was -strongly impelled to complete reserve.</p> - -<p>For he had creeping over him, gradually, a -horrible feeling that these people, in whose company -he was lingering, were not real people; that they -were dead, and that by some awful jugglery they -had been summoned forth and compelled to play -over, before him, a travesty of their former lives.</p> - -<p>He became gloomy and wretched beneath the -oppression of the thoughts that crowded his brain. -As the hour slipped away, his distress was made -more intense by the conduct of Miller, who, warmed -with wine, mingled oaths with his conversation. -Ephraim felt as if that blasphemy came to him -clothed with a new horror from the region of mystery -beyond the grave. Finally, after Mrs. Miller had -left the room, her husband’s utterance became thick -and harsh, and presently he slipped, drunken and -helpless, beneath the table.</p> - -<p>Ephraim sat alone at the board. The room grew -darker, for the rain was now swirling without, -against the window-panes. There was something -ghastly and fearful in the appearance of the apartment. -The outlines of the furniture, seen through -the dusk, were distorted and misshapen. Ephraim<span class="pagenum" id="Page_248">248</span> -felt as if he were in the presence of phantoms. He -had the sensations of one who sits in a charnel-house, -and knows that he is the only living thing -among the dead.</p> - -<p>His good sense half revolted against the fear -that overspread him; but it seemed not strong -enough to quell the tremulous terror in his soul; -for that grew and grew until it filled him with a -kind of panic. He had such a meaningless dread -as the bravest know when they find themselves -amid darkness and loneliness in a dwelling wherein, -of late, have been pleasant company and merriment -and laughter; wherein has been joyousness that has -suddenly been quenched by utter, dismal silence.</p> - -<p>He was seized by a sudden impulse to fly. He -pushed away his chair, and glanced timorously -around him. Then he trod swiftly, and with a -fiercely-beating heart, to the hall-way. Grasping -his hat from the table, he opened the door, and -fled out into the tempest.</p> - -<p>As he sped away through the gloomy street, now -wet and slippery, and covered with pools of rain, it -smote his heart with a new fear to think that even -the city about him, with its high walls and impending -roofs, its bricks and stones and uplifting -spires, was unreal to ghastliness. But even his -great dread did not forbid his mind to recall the -mysteries of the day.</p> - -<p>“I know,” he said, as he rushed onward, “what<span class="pagenum" id="Page_249">249</span> -it all means. This is the Past. Some mighty hand -has swept away the barrier of years, and plunged -me once more into the midst of the life that I knew -in my youth, long ago. And I have loved and -worshipped that past. Blind and foolish man! I -loved it! Ah, how I hate it now! What a miserable, -miserable time it was! How poor and -insufficient life seems under its conditions! How -meanly men crawled about, content with their -littleness and folly, and unconscious of the wisdom -that lay within their reach, ignorant of the vast -and wonderful possibilities that human ingenuity -might compass!”</p> - -<p>“There was nothing in that dreary past that I -could love, excepting”—and Ephraim was almost -ready to weep as he thought that the one longing -of his soul could not be realized—“excepting -those who were torn from my arms, my heart, my -home, by the cruel hand of death.”</p> - -<p>The excitement, the distress, the anguish, the -wild terror of the day, came back to him with -accumulated force as he hurried along the footway; -and when he reached his own home he was distracted, -unnerved, hysterical.</p> - -<p>With eager but uncertain fingers he pushed open -the front door, and went into his sitting-room. -There a fresh shock came to him, for he saw his -wife in the chair she had occupied in the old time, -long, long ago. She arose to greet him, and he<span class="pagenum" id="Page_250">250</span> -saw that her dear face wore the kindly smile he had -known so well, and that had added much to his -sum of happiness in the years that were gone. He -leaped to clasp her in his arms when he heard the -sweet tones of her voice welcoming him; his eyes -filled with tears, and the sobs came, as he <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Ah, my dearest, my dearest! have you, too, -come up from the dead past to meet me? It was -you alone that hallowed it to me. I loved—loved -you—I—”</p> - -<p>He felt his utterance choked, the room swam -before him, there was a ringing noise in his ears, -he felt himself falling; then he lost consciousness.</p> - -<p>He knew nothing more until he realized that -there was a gentle knocking near to him, as of some -one who demanded admittance at the door. He -roused himself with an effort, and almost mechanically -<span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Come in.”</p> - -<p>He heard a light step, and he opened his eyes. -He was in his own bed-room, the room of the -present, not of the past, and in his own bed. It -was Nelly who knocked at the door; she stood -beside him.</p> - -<p>“It is time to get up, grandpa,” she said.</p> - -<p>“Wh—where am I? What has happened?” -Then, as his mind realized the truth, he said, “Oh, -Nelly, Nelly, how I have suffered.”</p> - -<p>“How, grandpa?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_251">251</span> -“I—I—but never mind now, my dear; I will -tell you after awhile. Run down-stairs while I prepare -for breakfast. But, Nelly, let me tell you not -to believe what I said to you about the glories of -the past; it was not true, my child, not true. I have -learned better; I talked to you like a foolish old -man. Thank God, my dear, that you live late in -the world’s history. No man is more unwise or -more ungrateful than he who finds delight in playing -the part of An Old Fogy.”</p> - -<hr /> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_252">252</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 id="MAJOR_DUNWOODYS_LEG">MAJOR DUNWOODY’S LEG,<br /> - -<span class="subhead">AND THE GREAT POTTAWATOMIE CLAIM.</span></h2> -</div> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_252.png" width="66" height="68" alt="A" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword in02">At</span> Gettysburg, on the afternoon of the -third day of July, 1863, Major Henry G. -Dunwoody, of the 483d Regiment of -Pennsylvania Volunteers, while leading his men into -action, was struck by a shell from a Confederate -battery. A moment later he was lying upon the -ground unconscious, and beside him lay his left leg, -severed from his body several inches above the knee.</p> - -<p>When the fight was over for the day, the wounded -Major was placed in an ambulance and taken to the -hospital. A day or two later, the fever having left -him, he lay in bed feeling tolerably comfortable. -His mind not unnaturally turned to consideration -of his wound. He began to think how very inconvenient -it would be to have to hop about on one -leg during the remainder of his life, and he couldn’t -help wondering where his leg was and what would -be its fate. He suspected they would bury it; and -the notion seemed an unpleasant one.</p> - -<p>“I don’t like the idea of being partially interred,”<span class="pagenum" id="Page_253">253</span> -he said; “and while I am alive, too. I am too -young a man by half a century to have one foot in -the grave.”</p> - -<p>The latter suggestion struck the Major as being -rather a good joke. He resolved to remember it -so that he could tell the surgeon.</p> - -<p>The Major could hardly persuade himself, at -times, as he reflected, that he had really lost his -leg. He had a corn upon a certain toe which he -could distinctly feel; there were strong sensations -which indicated that the leg was still there, and he -could hardly resist the impulse to try to lift it in -such a vigorous manner as to kick off the covering -of the bed. But he knew that this was absurd. -While he was thinking about it he suddenly gave a -little start, and a shiver ran through his nerves. -He felt as if his leg had been plunged into some -intensely cold liquid, and before he had quite recovered -from the shock he was conscious of a faint -suggestion of alcohol. Whether the perfume of the -substance had actually greeted his nostrils, or the -alcoholic flavor had been conveyed to his senses in -some other way, he could not exactly define. He -did not try very hard to solve the problem. This -was only one of the many odd experiences of the -first forty-eight hours, and he was too feeble to -make such a vigorous mental effort as was necessary -to their proper solution.</p> - -<p>The Major recovered, and was enrolled in the Invalid<span class="pagenum" id="Page_254">254</span> -Corps. During the succeeding three or four -years he drew his pay, lived an easy life, and devoted -much of his time to experimenting upon artificial -legs of various patterns. He never succeeded -in finding one that suited him exactly, and in the -course of time he collected quite a curious lot of -wooden and cork legs, which he kept standing -about in the corners of his room at his boarding-house -in Washington, and which were perpetually -a source of nervous dread to the chambermaid, who -lived in expectation that some day they would fly -out at her and kick her downstairs.</p> - -<p>One day the Major, while strolling along the -street, passed the door of the Army Medical Museum, -an institution into which has been gathered -by the government a very large number of medical -and surgical curiosities taken from the various -battle-fields of the rebellion. It is the most horribly -interesting place in the city of Washington—that -is, to the ordinary lay observer. The surgeons -and doctors, of course, regard its trophies -with gleeful enthusiasm. To others it serves perhaps -a good purpose in suggesting some distinct -notion of the fearful suffering which was the price -paid for the salvation of the Government, and it -may perform a useful office in the future by indicating -to persons who are burning with a desire -for war and glory, that glory is one of the least -obvious fruits of murderous strife.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_255">255</span> -It occurred to the Major to enter the building; -and for half an hour he wandered about among the -glass cases, studying curiously the strangely distorted -fragments of the poor human body which -are there preserved. As he turned the corner of -one large case, he saw something that induced him -to halt. A brief distance in front of him sat a -woman intently engaged in drawing upon a piece of -pasteboard which stood upon a small easel. It was -so unexpected a sight that the Major could not resist -the impulse to observe her for a moment. She -seemed young and fair; a mass of bright golden -hair fell upon her shoulders, and as she turned her -head to look at something in one of the cases that -she seemed to be sketching, the Major saw that her -profile was exceedingly pretty.</p> - -<p>He came a step or two closer, and noticed by -means of a hurried glance that she had a strange -figure of some kind upon the board; and then he -passed on.</p> - -<p>Just as he got close to her his artificial leg—a -leg that he had received a few days before by -steamer from France—suddenly launched out -sideways. It encountered the foot of the easel, -and the next instant Major Dunwoody lay sprawling -upon the floor, with the easel across his -back and the pasteboard picture lying upon his -head. He recovered himself promptly, and turning -to the fair artist, who stood above him with a look<span class="pagenum" id="Page_256">256</span> -of mingled vexation and amusement upon her -face, <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“I—I—really I am very sorry. It is shocking, -but I assure you I couldn’t help it. I am suffering -from a wound, and—and” (the Major did not like -to confess so openly to his dismemberment); “and -in fact I had not complete control of myself.”</p> - -<p>The Major was a handsome man, and either his -appearance, his pleading look, the pathetic tone of -his voice, or all combined, touched the artist’s heart -with sympathy.</p> - -<p>“Oh, never mind,” she said, smiling, as the Major -thought, more sweetly than woman ever smiled before. -“No harm is done. I hope you didn’t hurt -yourself.”</p> - -<p>“You are very kind. No, I am not hurt; but I -am greatly mortified at the trouble I have caused -you. I hardly know how to express my disgust for -my clumsiness.”</p> - -<p>“Pray do not distress yourself about it,” said the -artist, laughing; “the easel is not broken and the -sketch is wholly uninjured. I should not have -mourned if it had been destroyed. It is a mere -study, and very incomplete.”</p> - -<p>“You are too generous,” replied the Major; “but -I will take good care not to disturb you again, if I -can find my way out of here. Would you—would -you—be—be—would you be good enough to call -the janitor, or somebody, to help to get me upon<span class="pagenum" id="Page_257">257</span> -my feet again? I cannot rise without—in fact, -my wound is—is—”</p> - -<p>“I shall be more than glad to assist you,” said -the artist, with a glance of pity in her blue eyes, -“if you will take my hand.”</p> - -<p>The Major looked at the hand for a moment. It -was extremely pretty; he had an impulse to kiss -it, but he restrained himself. He merely clasped -it in his own. The artist braced herself firmly, and -the next instant the Major stood upright.</p> - -<p>“I do not know how I can thank you for your -kindness,” he said, “but permit me to offer you my -card. I have some influence, and if I can ever -serve you in any way I shall greatly rejoice.”</p> - -<p>“Major Dunwoody! Indeed!” exclaimed the -artist, as she read the name. “You are not one of -the Dunwoodys of Clarion County, Pennsylvania, -are you?”</p> - -<p>“I was born there,” replied the Major with not a -little eagerness. He thought he saw a chance -to acquire better acquaintance with this lovely -and gifted woman. “Do you know any of our -folks?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes,” said the artist, with a bright smile. -“My mother came from Clarion County. She was -a Hunsicker, a daughter of Hon. John Hunsicker, -who represented the district in the forty-first Congress. -I have often heard her speak of the Dunwoodys.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_258">258</span> -“Indeed,” replied the Major. “I knew your -grandfather well when I was a boy.”</p> - -<p>The conversation need not be given in detail. -The artist and the Major developed at some length -how a Hunsicker married a Dunwoody; how a -Dunwoody eloped with a Moyer, a cousin of the -Hunsickers; how a Dunwoody fought a duel with -another Hunsicker over a political dispute, and -shook hands afterwards; and how the loves and -hates, and bargains and enterprises, and contests -and schemes of the Dunwoodys and Hunsickers -had filled the history of Clarion County for a quarter -of a century past.</p> - -<p>At last the Major <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“But you haven’t given me <em>your</em> name yet.”</p> - -<p>“Pandora M’Duffy is my name. My mother, -you know, married Senator M’Duffy, state senator. -Poor father died many years ago, and we are now -living in Washington.”</p> - -<p>“Studying art, I presume?” asked the Major, -glancing at the easel.</p> - -<p>“Yes,” replied Pandora; “I am an artist.”</p> - -<p>“Is not this rather—rather a—a queer place -to come to for sketches?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, no,” said Pandora, laughing; “I came -here to study anatomy for a great picture I am -going to paint. You see what that is?” said she, -lifting the cardboard, and showing the sketch to -the Major.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_259">259</span> -“That is a—a—I should say that was a picture -of—well, of the elbow of a stove-pipe. -Isn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“You are not very complimentary,” said Pandora. -“I know it is very raw and unfinished; but -it is at least a fair likeness of that human leg in -the jar of alcohol over there.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, of course! So it is, so it is; astonishing -likeness! How stupid I am! To be sure. The -very image of it.”</p> - -<p>“Come now, I know you don’t think so! You -are flattering me!”</p> - -<p>“No, indeed. It is wonderful! But—why, -bless my soul, what on earth do you want a picture -of such a thing as that for?”</p> - -<p>“For my great painting,” said Pandora, with a -pretty little laugh. “I am preparing a picture, -thirty-eight feet by twenty-seven feet, of George -Washington cutting down his father’s cherry-tree -with his little hatchet.”</p> - -<p>“What for?”</p> - -<p>“I expect to sell it to the Government, and to -have it placed among the other historical pictures -in the rotunda of the Capitol.”</p> - -<p>“But you are not going to put this leg in the -picture?”</p> - -<p>“Yes; I represent George as being barefooted, -and having one trouser-leg rolled up.”</p> - -<p>“But then, I don’t exactly see how—well, but -George was a boy, and this is a man’s leg.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_260">260</span> -“I know, but I am drawing all the figures on a -heroic scale.”</p> - -<p>“Ah!” said the Major. Then he added, “But I -must bid you good morning.”</p> - -<p>“I shall be very glad to have you come to see -me,” said Pandora.</p> - -<p>“I assure you it will give me much pleasure to -do so,” answered the Major, with a feeling of exultation.</p> - -<p>Then he bowed politely, and withdrew.</p> - -<p>When Pandora reached home, she showed Major -Dunwoody’s card to her mother, and told her of the -adventure at the Museum.</p> - -<p>Mrs. M’Duffy sat upon the sofa and listened. -She was a woman of distinguished appearance; of -large frame, not corpulent, but rounded rather more -than positive beauty seemed to require. Having -the carriage of a queen, with a finely-shaped head, -a strongly-defined chin, held well up, an aquiline -nose, and piercing black eyes, Mrs. M’Duffy impressed -the observer with a sense of power. The -mother of the Gracchi might have been such a -woman. If Mrs. M’Duffy had been born to a -throne, she would have left her impress distinctly -upon the history of nations.</p> - -<p>Mrs. M’Duffy was familiar with the world. She -was a woman who quickly comprehended possibilities. -She clearly foresaw that Major Dunwoody -might have an influence upon the future<span class="pagenum" id="Page_261">261</span> -of Pandora, and the prospect was not pleasing -to her.</p> - -<p>“Pandora,” she said, “I trust you did not ask -this man to call?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, I did, mother.”</p> - -<p>“I am sorry to hear it. I never liked <em>his</em> branch -of the Dunwoodys. His father was mixed up -with some very suspicious land speculations, and -he died insolvent. Major Dunwoody has nothing -but his pay. You must treat him with coolness -when he comes.”</p> - -<p>“Why?”</p> - -<p>“Why! Why, because it is very necessary that -you should give him no encouragement of any -kind. He is not a desirable match for you. Besides, -you owe it to your family now to offer every -opportunity to Achilles Smith. Mr. Smith worships -you!”</p> - -<p>“And I hate him,” said Pandora, vigorously.</p> - -<p>“Hate him, my child? Why, how absurd! -Mr. Smith is a very charming man, and when he -gets his Pottawatomie claim through Congress, he -will be rich.”</p> - -<p>“He will never get it through; and I won’t -have him, if he does!”</p> - -<p>“Never get it through, Pandora! Didn’t General -Belcher, the member for the ninety-sixth -Kansas district, and his bosom friend, assure me -positively that it would be approved during the -present session?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_262">262</span> -“His claim is ridiculous. Congress will never -allow it.”</p> - -<p>“My dear! Pray don’t be absurd! His claim -is quite as reasonable as thousands of similar -claims. The Pottawatomie Indians scalped him in -1862, and he very properly asks the legislature of -his country to compel the savages to make reparation -by surrendering two million acres of their -reservation. I cannot see anything ridiculous -about that. If he succeeds, he will be the largest -individual land-owner in the West.”</p> - -<p>“If he succeeds!”</p> - -<p>“But General Belcher, who is pushing his case -in Congress, and who is to share the property with -him, positively declares that he will succeed. The -General, also, makes your acceptance of Achilles -the condition of his championship of your picture. -He says that Congress shall buy that picture upon -the day that you marry Achilles Smith!”</p> - -<p>“General Belcher is simply disgusting, mother. -I would never think of accepting a favor from -him.”</p> - -<p>“Not when his exertions can lift you and your -mother out of poverty, Pandora? You talk most -unreasonably.”</p> - -<p>“I mean what I say,” said Pandora firmly.</p> - -<p>“Very well, Miss, we shall see,” replied Mrs. -M’Duffy, rising and sweeping majestically from -the room.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_263">263</span> -Major Dunwoody called upon that very evening. -He called again the next evening. He called frequently -upon following evenings; and although -Mrs. M’Duffy treated him with coldness which -bordered upon disdain, the Major’s infatuation for -Pandora was so strong that he forgot Mrs. M’Duffy’s -incivility in rejoicing over the exceeding graciousness -of her daughter.</p> - -<p>The Major was convinced that Pandora loved -him, but he hesitated to take practical measures -to ascertain the fact, because he could not summon -up a sufficient amount of resolution to tell -her the truth about the loss of his leg. He was -far too honorable to deceive her respecting his -misfortune until she had committed herself to -him, and he was haunted by apprehension that she -might reject him when she knew the actual state -of the case. A catastrophe brought matters to -a crisis.</p> - -<p>One Sunday evening the Major escorted Pandora -to church. During the worship the Major felt -his French leg give several very strange twitches, -and he could hear a clicking sound in the knee as -if some of the springs were loose and moving about -in an independent manner. Pandora noticed the -noise too, and leaned over to ask the Major, in a -whisper, if there was not a mouse running about -upon the floor of the pew. The Major said he did -not think there was.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_264">264</span> -Pandora whispered that it sounded rather more -like machinery.</p> - -<p>The Major faintly intimated that it might proceed -from the gas meter in the cellar, or perhaps -the people in the gallery were fixing something -about the organ.</p> - -<p>The Major had always rather doubted the springs -in the knee-joint of the French leg. They impressed -him as being far more complicated and ingenious -than was necessary for simple purposes of -locomotion. He was thinking about them tremulously -when the sermon began. The preacher had -hardly announced his text when the Major’s leg -suddenly flew up, kicked the bonnet upon the -head of the lady in front of him over the wearer’s -eyes, and finally the leg fell upon the top of the -back of the pew, where it kicked away vigorously. -The Major, blushing crimson, grasped it and pulled -it down by a severe effort. The wearer of the -bonnet looked at him with indignation. Pandora -seemed ready to faint.</p> - -<p>When the Major let go his hold of the leg it -bounced up again, and performed the most eccentric -movements upon the back of the pew. Pandora -could not suppress a faint scream; and the -entire congregation stared at the miserable Major -as he seized the leg and thrust it down into the -pew. He held it down firmly, but the springs -were strong, and they forced the toes to beat a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_265">265</span> -wild tattoo upon the wooden partition in front of -them.</p> - -<p>In an agony of mortification, the Major rose, -with the intention to leave the building. The sexton, -who had approached him to ascertain the -cause of the disturbance, gave him his arm, and -the Major hopped down the aisle with his horrible -leg flying out behind and before in a convulsive -manner, kicking the sexton, banging pew-doors, -and behaving generally in a most sensational and -exciting manner.</p> - -<p>Pandora followed her lover at a short distance. -When the porch of the church was reached, the -leg was still in a condition of violent agitation, and -the Major, wild with shame and rage, said to the -<span class="locked">sexton,—</span></p> - -<p>“Take it off! Unbuckle it! Take it off quick!”</p> - -<p>The sexton bravely approached, fumbled about -for a moment in search of the strap, and an instant -later the Major’s imported leg lay upon the carpet -squirming about, kicking viciously, and leaping -hither and thither like a wounded and desperate -animal.</p> - -<p>“Call a carriage,” gasped the Major, as he leaned -against the wall.</p> - -<p>The sexton dispatched a boy for a vehicle, and -when it came he placed the Major within, helped -Pandora to a seat, and the party moved toward -home.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_266">266</span> -For a little while neither the Major nor Pandora -spoke. The situation seemed too awful for words. -The silence was becoming embarrassing, when suddenly -Pandora <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Poor man!”</p> - -<p>“What, are you sorry for me?” asked the Major -eagerly.</p> - -<p>“Indeed I am. How you must have suffered!”</p> - -<p>“I thought you would hate me for subjecting -you to such mortification.”</p> - -<p>“But you couldn’t help it. I would be very -unjust to blame you.”</p> - -<p>“And you do not dislike me because I am so -crippled?”</p> - -<p>“How could I? You are a soldier. You lost -your leg honorably, did you not?”</p> - -<p>“It was shot away at Gettysburg.”</p> - -<p>“You lost it to save my country, and you think -I would not honor you for such a sacrifice?”</p> - -<p>“Your kind words make me brave. If I might -dare—”</p> - -<p>“Such a hero as you may dare anything,” she -said.</p> - -<p>“May I dare to ask if, while you honor me, you -can also love me?”</p> - -<p>“You may; and if you do, I will answer ‘Yes.’”</p> - -<p>“You are an angel!” exclaimed the Major.</p> - -<p>They expressed their emotion in a very usual -manner, which need not be described. When the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_267">267</span> -carriage turned into the street upon which Pandora -lived, she <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Henry dear,—I may call you <em>Henry</em>, mayn’t -I?—where <em>is</em> your leg?”</p> - -<p>“I left it squirming about in the church porch.”</p> - -<p>“No; I mean your real one, dear. The leg that -was shot off.”</p> - -<p>“I haven’t the least idea. Buried, I suppose.”</p> - -<p>Pandora was silent and thoughtful for a moment. -Then she <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Isn’t it barely possible that one of those legs -preserved at the Medical Museum is yours?”</p> - -<p>“Well, I declare I never thought of that! Perhaps -mine <em>is</em> there.”</p> - -<p>“The one I was sketching on the day I first met -you was labelled—‘Gettysburg, July 3rd, 1863.’ -Maybe that was it.”</p> - -<p>“I will go around to-morrow and examine it. It -would be very odd, Pandora dearest, if it should be -mine. Wouldn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Very. But I want you to make me a promise. -If it should be yours, will you get it and give it to -me?”</p> - -<p>“If I can I will. But what on earth do you -want it for?”</p> - -<p>“For two reasons I want it: first, because if I am -to marry you I have a legal right to all of you; and, -second, because my George Washington has been -standing upon one leg beside the cherry-tree for<span class="pagenum" id="Page_268">268</span> -three weeks now, for the reason that I can’t make -a satisfactory study of his other leg.”</p> - -<p>“Pandora, I will gratify you if human energy is -equal to the task. The impulses of an undying -affection, not less than a fervid regard for the -interests of high art, shall nerve me to the work.”</p> - -<p>“Thank you, darling!” she said.</p> - -<p>Then the carriage stopped at the M’Duffy front -door. Pandora alighted, rang the bell, kissed her -hand and disappeared, while the Major drove home -in ecstasy to brood upon his unexpected happiness, -and to fit himself with a Government leg that was -numbered among the best in his collection.</p> - -<p>The next morning he went around to the Medical -Museum and examined Exhibit 1307 in Case 25, -being the leg which Pandora had proposed to pass -on to immortality by attaching a representation of it -to her picture of George Washington.</p> - -<p>The Major could not say with positiveness that -the leg was his, but his impression that it belonged to -him was strengthened by certain scars that seemed -to be familiar, among them one which called up -memories of a dog-bite obtained in a Clarion -County orchard away back in the years of his -boyhood.</p> - -<p>A thought struck him. He called the janitor, -and slipping a coin into his hand, he explained the -case to that officer. At the Major’s suggestion the -janitor removed the specimen from the alcohol,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_269">269</span> -and trod heavily upon the excrescence upon the -toe. The Major yelled with pain. The identity of -the limb was definitely ascertained.</p> - -<p>“I will recover possession of that leg,” said the -Major as he left the building, “if I have to buy the -entire collection!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_270">270</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER II.</h3> -</div> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_270.png" width="66" height="68" alt="G" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword in02">General</span> William Henry Harrison Belcher, -member of Congress from the ninety-sixth -Kansas district, sat in his room at -his hotel one evening, with his feet upon the table, -a cigar in his mouth, and a glass containing a -mysterious liquid preparation beside him.</p> - -<p>In appearance the General was a man of mark. -His thick gray hair covered a noble head; his nose -was large and curved in bold lines indicating -strength; his face was closely shaven and rather -inclined to pallor. He had eyes that seemed to -pierce the person upon whom they rested, and -when he used his feet to stand upon, instead of -devoting them to purely ornamental purposes, as -at present, his figure appeared tall and slender and -comely. Those who did not know the General -imagined, when they saw him in the Capitol, that -he was some distinguished statesman upon whom -rested the weight of a nation’s business. Those -who knew him, on the contrary, were aware that he -was a man of no education, no skill in higher -politics, and no principles worth mentioning. He<span class="pagenum" id="Page_271">271</span> -had begun life as a mule-driver on the plains, but -one day he contrived to obtain a contract for -supplying a certain Indian agency with cattle. The -Government paid him for fat steers, and he furnished -the oldest and leanest cows he could find west of -the Mississippi, and when they were weighed in -pairs, he and his drover stood on the scale each -time so as to bring the aggregate weight up to a -comfortable figure. He made a small fortune at -this business, and then he bought his way into the -Legislature, and subsequently into Congress, his -purpose being not so much to give his suffering -country the benefit of his skill as a legislator, as to -open for himself larger opportunities to acquire -wealth at his country’s expense. He had succeeded -in several enterprises of the kind which had engaged -his attention since he came to Washington, and now -he was devoting attention to his great scheme for -seizing the Pottawatomie Reservation as a matter -of retributive justice to its savage owners. As he -sat in his room, thinking upon the subject, he heard -a knock at the door.</p> - -<p>“Come in!” said the General.</p> - -<p>Achilles Smith entered.</p> - -<p>“Hello, Kill!” said the General, still keeping his -feet upon the table. “Take a chair.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Smith sat down.</p> - -<p>“What’ll you have?” asked the General.</p> - -<p>“Cocktail.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_272">272</span> -“Mix one.”</p> - -<p>Mr. Smith prepared the beverage, placed himself -swiftly outside of it, elevated his feet until they -rested close to those of the General, and <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Well, how does the old thing work?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, pretty well! tolerable! The Committee -have promised to consider your case to-morrow, -and I want you to be on hand, ready to tell your -story. You’ve got it straight, I reckon?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, I know it by heart.”</p> - -<p>“Let’s see. Your theory is that you were -scalped by a Pottawatomie Indian in 1862. Now, -where is that scalp?”</p> - -<p>“In my trunk. Between ourselves, you know, -I bought it of an Indian in Laramie year before -last.”</p> - -<p>“Very well. Now, what is the name of the -Indian who scalped you?”</p> - -<p>“Jumping Antelope, a chief.”</p> - -<p>“Under what circumstances?”</p> - -<p>“I was trying to convert him by reading the -Scriptures to him.”</p> - -<p>“See here, Kill, isn’t that a little thin? He -couldn’t understand the language, you know. I’m -afraid that won’t wash.”</p> - -<p>“I translated it as I went along.”</p> - -<p>“S’pos’n’ the Committee ask you to prove that -you know the language?”</p> - -<p>“I’ll get off some gibberish, and you can assure<span class="pagenum" id="Page_273">273</span> -them that you recognize it as pure Pottawatomie.”</p> - -<p>“Very well. Now, what particular part of the—the—Scriptures -were you reading to him?”</p> - -<p>“I dunno. Let’s see; what are some of the -books?”</p> - -<p>“Don’t ask me; I’m not very well posted. We -used to have a Bible out in the Kansas Legislature, -to swear members on, but they always kept a -string tied around it, and after it was stolen a rumor -got around that the clerk swore a whole House -of Representatives in on Kidderminster’s Digest -of the State Laws.”</p> - -<p>“Jonah’s the only book I recall very distinctly -now.”</p> - -<p>“That’ll do, if you can remember something in -it. I connect it indistinctly with reminiscences of -a whale.”</p> - -<p>“Yes. Well, I was trying to convert that Indian -by reading to him about Jonah and the whale, -when he rose up suddenly and began fumbling -about my hair with a carving-knife.”</p> - -<p>“The Committee may go into detail. Now, -why did he do this? Is the narrative calculated -in any way to excite the nervous system of an untutored -child of the forest?”</p> - -<p>“No-no-no!”</p> - -<p>“Nothing in it about depriving persons of their -hair? Don’t say Jonah was scalped, hey?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_274">274</span> -“No.”</p> - -<p>“Did your assailant accompany the act with any -conversation?”</p> - -<p>“He merely remarked ‘How!’ and I thought I -caught some rather indistinct reference to the -Happy Hunting Grounds; but I’ll only swear to -‘How.’”</p> - -<p>“‘How!’ They always say that. It indicates -almost anything, from ferocious animosity to a -desire to borrow plug tobacco. Then he took -your hair, did he?”</p> - -<p>“Sawed it right out, and would have murdered -me if I had not fled.”</p> - -<p>“You dropped the Bible when you ran?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, after snatching my scalp from his hand.”</p> - -<p>“Well, Kill, I think maybe that yarn’ll pass. -It’s not first-rate, but there are three men in the -Committee who want my vote for claims of theirs, -and I have an idea they’ll back us through thick -and thin. My boy, don’t call me a prophet if we -don’t snatch that Reservation before the session’s -out. It looks to me like a sure thing.”</p> - -<p>“I’d like to be as sure of something else I’m -after,” said Smith, rather sadly.</p> - -<p>“What’s that?”</p> - -<p>“The M’Duffy girl.”</p> - -<p>“You shall have her, Kill, you shall have her. -The old lady has promised me, positively.”</p> - -<p>“I thought so myself at first, but there is another -man in the way now.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_275">275</span> -“Who is he?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, a one-legged army man. She’s taken a -fancy to him, her mother tells me. He has a leg -up here in the Medical Museum, and she fell in -love with that first and it spread to the rest of him -afterwards, gradually.”</p> - -<p>“That’s original, anyhow.”</p> - -<p>“Wants to paint that preserved leg in her picture. -Going to dovetail it on to Washington. If -he can get the leg out of the Museum she promises -to marry him.”</p> - -<p>“Well, <em>I’ll</em> put a stop to <em>that</em>. I’ll introduce a -bill forfeiting to the Government for ever all the -odd legs in the Museum. Kill, you mind what I -tell you, and Pandora shall make <em>you</em> her model instead -of this military ruin who is sparking her.”</p> - -<p>“I’d like to feel certain of that.”</p> - -<p>“You may; depend on me. A man with my -war record needn’t fear to offer himself to any—what -is this fellow? Major, hey?—Well, I’ll -risk offending any major in the service.”</p> - -<p>“I didn’t know you had any war record.”</p> - -<p>“Ain’t I a General?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, I know, but you can’t throw a brick in the -street without mowing down a couple of Generals—peace -men from principle.”</p> - -<p>“But I have seen war, my boy! I was in the -army, only as a Captain, I admit. But I smelt -powder. Kill, I was distinguished for one thing:<span class="pagenum" id="Page_276">276</span> -other officers always lost their men, but I never -had a fight that I didn’t bring out one-third more -men than I took in.”</p> - -<p>“You ought to have been promoted. Was it -your war record that took you to Congress?”</p> - -<p>“No, sir; it was brains—pure intellect—that -did that. You know my district? Not a railroad in -it. Not enough business to pay for the grease on -the engines if there was a railroad. Of course, -under such circumstances, the one thing all the -people want worse than anything else is a railroad. -People always want what they can’t get.”</p> - -<p>“Of course.”</p> - -<p>“So as soon as I was nominated I hired four -hundred men, divided them into squads, fitted -them out with rods and chains and theodolites and -other surveying apparatus, and started them all -over the district, pretending to run lines. A squad -would burst into a man’s potato-patch and go to -work. The owner would rush out and say, ‘What -in thunder you fellows a-doin’ in that potato-patch?’ -And they’d say, ‘We’re surveying the route for -old Belcher’s railroad.’ Then the man would fly -into the house and tell his wife that Belcher was -going to run a railroad through his property, and -they’d go wild with joy. Kill, I carried that district -by fifteen hundred majority over a man who -under other circumstances would have beaten me -out of my boots.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_277">277</span> -“That was genius, sir! nothing but pure genius.”</p> - -<p>“I think so; genius for statesmanship; not such -statesmanship as they have in the played-out despotisms -of Europe, but the kind that is needed in a -new country.”</p> - -<p>“I say, Belcher, how would it do for you and me -to go around and call on old Mrs. M’Duffy? I’ve a -notion to go.”</p> - -<p>“I’m willing. Maybe we can settle the case of -that dilapidated Major.”</p> - -<p>Mrs. M’Duffy was at home when the General -and Mr. Smith called, and she received them with -much cordiality.</p> - -<p>The conversation naturally turned at an early -moment to the subject of Smith’s claim.</p> - -<p>“By the way, Mr. Smith,” said Mrs. M’Duffy, -“your claim rests, I think you said, upon the fact -that you were scalped? Your head has not that appearance.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, no! You see, madam, that in the lapse of -years the wound has healed; a new scalp has gradually -formed, so that now I appear to be merely -bald. I have the original scalp at home in my -trunk.”</p> - -<p>“How very interesting. Were you ever scalped, -General?”</p> - -<p>“No, ma’am, never. My custom has been to -take scalps, not to lose them.”</p> - -<p>“The General is an old Indian fighter,” observed -Achilles.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_278">278</span> -“I was not aware of the fact,” said Mrs. M’Duffy. -“You are familiar therefore with the plains. Did -you ever visit the Pottawatomie Reservation—Mr. -Smith’s prospective property?”</p> - -<p>“Frequently, ma’am. It’s the handsomest tract -of ground east of the Rocky Mountains.”</p> - -<p>“You propose to live on it, when you get it, do -you not, Mr. Smith?”</p> - -<p>“On part of it. Half goes to the General; then -I shall reserve 5000 acres for myself and dispose of -the remainder to settlers. If I am successful in -my suit with your daughter I shall build a house in -the centre of my 5000 acres, and we will live there. -We shall have plenty of elbow-room. She can -paint pictures as big as all out-of-doors, and bigger.”</p> - -<p>“Pandora is <em>so</em> fond of the open country.”</p> - -<p>“Yes, madam, she can get half a dozen squaws -to do her housework, so that she can have all her -time to herself. I am going to arrange it so that -she can shoot grizzly bears from the parlor window, -if she wants to; and as for wardrobe!—well, I -intend to buy all our clothes in New York, and -they’ll be of a kind that’ll cause every woman on -the old Pottawatomie Reservation to turn green -with envy.”</p> - -<p>“Pandora ought to appreciate your kindness,” -said Mrs. M’Duffy; “but she is a strange girl, and, -I fear, thinks more of her art than of the matters -that commonly engage a young girl’s attention.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_279">279</span> -“By the way, ma’am, how is the great picture -coming on?”</p> - -<p>“Slowly. Pandora made the handle of the -hatchet more than twice as thick as the tree, and -she had to alter it. A connoisseur, a friend of hers, -also pointed out to her that in fore-shortening -Washington’s right leg she had made his foot appear -to be resting upon a mountain upon the other -side of the river. Corrections of this kind require -time.”</p> - -<p>“She must hurry up, ma’am; she must hurry -up,” said the General; “I have everything fixed to -obtain the consent of Congress to its purchase by -the Government. I am going to press the resolution -as soon as I hear that she has accepted -Smith.”</p> - -<p>“You are <em>too</em> kind. Do you think it is likely to -be favorably received? Mrs. Easby told me yesterday -that Judge Cudderbury said that if George -Washington could have foreseen Pandora’s picture -he would have had incorporated into the Constitution -of the United States a section making it a felony -to represent him as within a thousand miles of -a cherry-tree. But then the judge, you know, has -a daughter who professes to be an artist.”</p> - -<p>“Jealousy, ma’am! sheer jealousy. The judge -knows no more about art, anyhow, than a Colorado -mule knows about the sidereal system. Now, <em>my</em> -opinion, Mrs. M’Duffy, is, that old Michael-what’s-his-name,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_280">280</span> -over there in Rome, couldn’t hold a candle -to your daughter in the matter of covering -canvas.”</p> - -<p>As the General was speaking, the door opened, -and Pandora entered. She spoke politely, but -coldly, to the visitors, and after the passage of a -few remarks about the condition of the weather, the -General withdrew, Mrs. M’Duffy followed him to -the hall to bid him adieu, and Mr. Smith remained -with Pandora.</p> - -<p>It occurred to Achilles that if Mrs. M’Duffy -should happen to fail to return this would be an uncommonly -good opportunity to speak of the state -of his feelings. The thought pleased him, but it -gave him some embarrassment.</p> - -<p>“Miss Pandora,” he said, “I am glad to hear that -you are succeeding so nicely with your picture.”</p> - -<p>“Thank you; it <em>is</em> making some progress. I -have been delayed by a few trifling alterations.”</p> - -<p>“Is the central figure completed yet?”</p> - -<p>“Not quite finished. I did not feel sure about -the left leg, and I shall make some studies before I -paint it in.”</p> - -<p>“If you have any difficulty with that portion of -the figure, why not omit it? Put in a bush, or a -stone, or the trunk of a fallen tree, so as to hide -the leg. Congress will accept it all the same.”</p> - -<p>“Art scorns such devices. And, besides, it -would be rather too ridiculous to represent Washington<span class="pagenum" id="Page_281">281</span> -standing astride of a log while he is cutting -down a cherry-tree.”</p> - -<p>“True! true! That did not occur to me. What -you really want is a good model. I think I could -recommend one.”</p> - -<p>“I have one already, thank you.”</p> - -<p>“Indeed! A plaster of Paris one?”</p> - -<p>“No; a real one.”</p> - -<p>“A real one?”</p> - -<p>“The property of a friend of mine; a gentleman.”</p> - -<p>“On or off?”</p> - -<p>“Off.”</p> - -<p>“Humph! That seems to me—a—a—rather a -queer offering to a lady.”</p> - -<p>“Do you think so?”</p> - -<p>“I am a plain man, not used to flattering women, -but if I wished to express my regard for a lady I -would offer her my heart instead of my leg.”</p> - -<p>“It would be dreadful if the lady happened not -to want any portion of you, wouldn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Yes; but suppose I should offer her the Pottawatomie -Reservation besides, do you think she -would refuse?”</p> - -<p>“You had better undertake the investigation -yourself. How can I know?”</p> - -<p>“I <em>will</em> undertake it now. I offer my heart to -<em>you</em>! I offer the Reservation also. I love you, Pandora. -Oh, how I love you! Will you be my wife?”</p> - -<p>“Mr. Smith, it is impossible.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_282">282</span> -“No, not impossible, Pandora. Not impossible. -Do not say that; it will kill me. Listen! Have -you ever dreamed of a home upon the wide and -boundless prairie? A sweet little home, two -stories and an attic, painted white with green -shutters, where you can see eighteen miles in a -straight line, where two hundred acres in potatoes -lie beneath your very window, and where you can -hunt the bounding buffalo and the prairie-hen -without going off the estate; and where copper-colored -servant girls can be had for two dollars a -month and found? Have you ever dreamed of such -a home?”</p> - -<p>“Never.”</p> - -<p>“It is to it I would bear you as my bride. Come -with me! Be mine! I cannot offer you the -enervating luxuries of the depraved and decaying -East, but together we can feast upon jerked beef -and buffalo tongues; together we can drink draughts -from the Artesian well in the cellar; together we -will sit beneath the tree by the front door, the only -one within twenty-seven miles, and together we can -watch the dog chasing the jackass-rabbits across -the sage brush. Be mine, and I will stock the -pantry with rations from the nearest Indian agency, -where I have a friend; I will buy you a suave and -gentle mule for you to exercise yourself on, and you -may have canvas enough to paint General Washingtons -and Lord Cornwallises as high as church<span class="pagenum" id="Page_283">283</span> -steeples, and I will guarantee that Congress shall -bid them in as fast as you turn them out. Will you, -Pandora? Do you like the promise? Oh, say that -you love me!”</p> - -<p>“Mr. Smith, I cannot. I am very sorry, but to -tell the truth plainly, I am engaged to another -gentleman.”</p> - -<p>“To Dunwoody?”</p> - -<p>“I did not mention his name, sir.”</p> - -<p>“But I know him! A one-legged Major! And -you refuse me for him?”</p> - -<p>“I refuse you; that is enough.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, very well, Miss M’Duffy. I understand -you. I will bid you a very good evening. I hope -you will not have occasion to regret your decision.”</p> - -<p>“Certainly I shall not! Good evening, sir!”</p> - -<p>As Achilles passed out through the hall he -encountered Major Dunwoody, who was just placing -his hat upon the rack. Achilles looked back at him -for a second, scowling with rage and mortification, -and then as he rushed into the open air, he said to -<span class="locked">himself,—</span></p> - -<p>“Never mind, you hopping, mud-headed, military -humbug. I’ll settle <em>your</em> case before you’re many -days older.”</p> - -<p>And then Mr. Smith went home to bed.</p> - -<p>Pandora greeted the Major with a joyful smile.</p> - -<p>“Darling,” said the Major, “who was that person -I passed in the hall as I came in?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_284">284</span> -“That was Achilles Smith, the man of whom I -told you. He proposed to me a few moments before -you came in.”</p> - -<p>“He did, did he?” exclaimed the Major savagely. -“I wish I had known it. I would have kicked him -down the steps.”</p> - -<p>“But how could you, dearest, with only one -leg?”</p> - -<p>“True!” said the Major. “But I could have -thrashed him with my cane. So he wants to marry -you, does he?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, and mother thinks I ought to accept him.”</p> - -<p>“And you have firmly made up your mind to -marry me?” asked the Major, fondly.</p> - -<p>“Yes, dear,” said Pandora, with a roguish smile, -“but only when you have succeeded in getting for -me your disconnected leg. You will try to get it -for me soon, Henry, won’t you?”</p> - -<p>“I am trying now, my sweet. Colonel Dabney, -of the Maine delegation, has already introduced to -the House of Representatives a bill appropriating -my leg to me.”</p> - -<p>“How splendid!”</p> - -<p>“And he says it will pass promptly, so that I -can obtain the leg within less than two months. -We’ll be married right off then, won’t we?”</p> - -<p>“At once. But I’m afraid, Henry, Mr. Smith -and General Belcher will oppose Colonel Dabney’s -bill if they hear of it.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_285">285</span> -“I’ll brain both of them if they do,” said the -Major. “No, I won’t brain Smith; he has no -brains. And now, Pandora, darling, let us talk of -something else. Are you sure, my dearest, that -you love me <em>very</em>, very, <em>very</em> much?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, Henry! ten thousand, thousand times more -than I can ever tell you. I—”</p> - -<p>A person passing the parlor door at this juncture -might have heard a sharp sound resembling somewhat -that made by the tearing of a piece of muslin. -The conversation need not be quoted at greater -length. It appeared to give the most intense -pleasure to the Major and Pandora, but talk of that -kind is usually rather dreary for outside parties; so -we will lower the curtain here.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_286">286</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER III.</h3> -</div> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_286.png" width="66" height="68" alt="A" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword in02">About</span> a week later, Colonel Dabney reported, -with a favorable recommendation -to the House, from the Committee on Public -Property, “An Act restoring a certain amputated -limb in the Medical Museum to Major Henry -G. Dunwoody.” The Act specified the leg contained -in Exhibit 1307, Case 25, as the property to -be restored.</p> - -<p>When the bill came up for discussion, General -Belcher moved to lay it upon the table. Defeated. -Then he moved to amend it with a provision that -the bone of the leg should be withdrawn and -retained in the Museum. Rejected. Then he -offered a resolution referring the whole matter to a -committee of inquiry, which should be directed to -sit for two years, and to take testimony as to what -had been the practice of governments in the matter -of surrendering legs blown off in battle, from -the time of Sennacherib down to the battle of -Sedan, including evidence respecting the custom -in Persia, Greece, Egypt, Rome, Carthage, Palestine, -and modern Europe. After a spirited debate -the resolution was lost. But the General was not<span class="pagenum" id="Page_287">287</span> -discouraged. He presented another resolution, -that a special committee be directed to inquire -whether the person mentioned in this bill was the -same Major Dunwoody who, in a fit of alcoholic -frenzy, in Clarion County, Pennsylvania, in 1866, -treed his aged grandfather one rainy night, and -compelled that venerable and rheumatic person to -roost upon a lofty branch until morning. Voted -down: Yeas 304; Nays 1 (General Belcher).</p> - -<p>The bill finally passed to a third reading, and -was adopted. When it had received the approval -of the Senate and the President, Major Dunwoody -drove round to the Museum in high glee with Pandora. -He carried in his pocket an empty pillow-case, -in which he proposed to take home with him -the long-lost fragment of himself. When he found -the janitor and presented his credentials, that official -was exceedingly polite, and at once led the -way to the place where the treasure was kept.</p> - -<p>While he was unlocking the case, Pandora could -hardly repress her feelings of joy. Leaning upon -her lover’s arm, and watching the janitor, she <span class="locked">exclaimed,—</span></p> - -<p>“Isn’t it elegant, dear? I can hardly realize -that we are really going to get it! Mother will -be so glad when George Washington has his other -leg on.”</p> - -<p>“I wish I had <em>my</em> other one on,” said the Major, -pleasantly.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_288">288</span> -“So do I. It’s too bad! But you can stand it -up on the table and look at it now as much as you -want to, can’t you, darling?”</p> - -<p>The janitor lifted down the huge jar containing -the limb, and took it out of the spirits.</p> - -<p>“I feel,” said the Major, as he unfolded his -pillow-case, “as if I was in a cemetery, disinterring -one of my near relations.”</p> - -<p>“So beautiful! Isn’t it?” said Pandora.</p> - -<p>The Major suddenly scrutinized the leg closely.</p> - -<p>“Why, how—how’s this? I don’t exactly understand—let’s -see, janitor, this is Exhibit 1307? -Yes. Case 25? Yes, Case 25; so it is. Why, -Thunder and Mars! (excuse my agitation, Pandora,) -there must be something wrong about -this!”</p> - -<p>“Wrong, Henry? How?”</p> - -<p>“Guess not, sir,” said the janitor. “This is what -the bill calls for.”</p> - -<p>“But it can’t be, you know. I lost my left leg, -and this one you had in the jar here is a right leg. -I couldn’t have had two right legs, Pandora, of -course!”</p> - -<p>“I do not know, dear. Some persons have peculiarities -of formation which—”</p> - -<p>“Oh, well, now, be reasonable. I am absolutely -certain that my leg was a left leg in every particular. -You see, Pandora, this is a matter about -which I may fairly be considered an authority.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_289">289</span> -“Yes, Henry, but—but maybe being in the -alcohol so long may have changed it.”</p> - -<p>“Impossible. Quite impossible, Pandora. The -annals of medical science, from Esculapius down, -contain no record of such a thing. The leg is not -mine.”</p> - -<p>“But you might as well take it, dearest, mightn’t -you, because my George Washington ought to be -finished as quickly as possible?”</p> - -<p>“You don’t want to put two right legs on him, -too, do you?”</p> - -<p>“I don’t know, Henry, I might. People won’t -look at his toes; and if they did, they would regard -the arrangement as one of the eccentricities of -genius, perhaps.”</p> - -<p>“Let us look about,” said the Major. “Perhaps -my leg is in one of these other cases. Why, here -it is! Sure enough! In Case 1236, Exhibit 11. -That is mine. You’ll let me have it, Mr. Janitor, -of course?”</p> - -<p>“Can’t do it, sir; I have to follow the Act of -Congress carefully. I daren’t go outside of it.”</p> - -<p>“Well, this is too bad!” exclaimed the Major. -“You positively won’t give it to me?”</p> - -<p>“No, sir; I won’t.”</p> - -<p>“Well, then, Pandora, there is nothing to do but -to wait. I’ll get Colonel Dabney to put another -bill through at once. Let me get the numbers: -Exhibit 11, Case 1236.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_290">290</span> -Then, taking Pandora upon his arm, the Major -hobbled to his carriage and drove straight to the -Capitol.</p> - -<p>About three weeks later another bill passed the -House without opposition, General Belcher being -absent in New York upon a Committee of Inquiry. -While the measure was pending in the Senate, -Achilles Smith, one morning, at an early hour, entered -a rear door of the Museum with a key which -he had obtained by bribing the charwoman, and -proceeding to Case 1236, he removed the leg from -the jar No. 11, and put it in another jar in another -case, replacing it with the leg that had been in the -latter jar.</p> - -<p>He went down-stairs chuckling. “You mutilated -outcast, you,” he said, addressing the Major in -imagination; “we’ll see who’ll beat at this game!”</p> - -<p>When the Act had been signed by the President, -the Major drove with Pandora to the Museum a -second time. Upon reaching Case 1236 he was -for a moment stricken dumb with amazement. -Presently he <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Why, Pandora, my dear, do you see? It’s the -leg of a colored man!”</p> - -<p>“Ye—e—es, it seems to be, Henry. But perhaps -mortification or something has set in.”</p> - -<p>“It is very mysterious. I can’t account for it.”</p> - -<p>“One of your legs was not colored, was it, my -love?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_291">291</span> -“Oh, no, of course not!”</p> - -<p>“Perhaps the janitor here has tarred it over, to -preserve it better?”</p> - -<p>“No, ma’am; that’s not allowed in this institution.”</p> - -<p>“You’ll take it anyhow; won’t you, Henry?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, my dear, be reasonable. Take the leg of a -negro for mine!”</p> - -<p>“Well, but, Henry, I can paint it white in my -picture.”</p> - -<p>“Yes; but, Pandora, you know we won’t care -to have particles of fractured Africans scattered -about our house. We can have no cherished memories -associated with a leg like this.”</p> - -<p>“I suppose not; but it seems rather hard that -my Washington should have to stand upon that -one leg at least a month longer.”</p> - -<p>“He won’t mind it. He was heroic. He would -have stood upon a solitary leg for centuries rather -than have robbed another man of his members.”</p> - -<p>Pandora sighed deeply, and made up her mind -to try to be resigned; and so they went downstairs, -and drove away to state the case to Colonel -Dabney.</p> - -<p>The Colonel, after hearing the story, distinctly -affirmed the opinion that there had been foul play. -The Major jumped at the suggestion, and told him -of General Belcher and Achilles Smith, and their -designs respecting Pandora.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_292">292</span> -“Never mind; I will defeat their plans,” said -the Colonel. “You shall have the leg next time, -if it is still in existence, no matter who meddles -with it.”</p> - -<p>The next Act reported by Colonel Dabney provided -that Major Henry G. Dunwoody should have -authority to take possession of his leg wherever it -could be found, in any institution under control of -the Government.</p> - -<p>General Belcher made a long and eloquent -speech in opposition to the bill.</p> - -<p>He referred to the heroes of the past. Who -ever heard of Epaminondas prowling about in -search of a leg lost in honorable warfare? Did -Leonidas return from Thermopylæ to seek the aid -of the national legislature in an effort to recover -members of his body that had been hacked off? -Hannibal was fairly torn to pieces, but he would -have scorned to go fishing in alcohol jars for them. -Cæsar, Alexander, Wallenstein, Wellington, General -Jackson, were all mighty warriors, but he had -yet to learn that they ever stooped to begging -their respective governments for mangled remains -that had been preserved for the instruction of -medical men and the alleviation of the sufferings -of the human race. No, it was reserved for this -obscure American militiaman, who was gravely -suspected of fiendish barbarity to an aged and infirm -grandsire, and who had been charged with<span class="pagenum" id="Page_293">293</span> -hiding behind a baggage-wagon at Gettysburg, to -begin this ghoulish practice of grasping for legs -that had been solemnly dedicated to the uses of -our common country.</p> - -<p>He would direct attention to the remarkable and -mysterious circumstances surrounding this case. -It was admitted even by the friends of Major Dunwoody -that he had <em>one</em> leg. Two other legs had -been awarded him by separate Acts of Congress. -That made three. He had in his hand a receipt -for two artificial legs supplied to Major Dunwoody -by the Government, making five; and he was -credibly informed that the Major had recently -appeared at a church in the capital wearing a -French leg, with which he performed some extraordinary, -not to say scandalous, feats during the -service. Thus there was positive evidence that -this person had already in his possession six legs, -and now he was demanding from Congress permission -to take a seventh. He appealed to the -House, was it reasonable that one man should be -allowed to have seven legs? Would it look well -for this House to announce to the country that it -was willing to rifle the Medical Museum in order -to confer an additional leg upon a man who was -the owner of six others? He could understand -such legislation if men were constructed like centipedes, -but it seemed to him more than monstrous, -positively iniquitous, indeed, to vote away the pathetic<span class="pagenum" id="Page_294">294</span> -and instructive remnants of our glorious -heroes for the purpose of furthering the insidious, -perhaps treasonable, designs of a man who had -enough legs of various kinds already to make three -ordinary men comfortable.</p> - -<p>When the General concluded his remarks, Colonel -Dabney replied, and stated the facts of the case -plainly and forcibly. The bill was passed by a -handsome majority.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_295">295</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h3>CHAPTER IV.</h3> -</div> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_295.png" width="66" height="68" alt="U" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword">Upon</span> the very same day, General Belcher’s -Act indemnifying Achilles Smith for the -loss of his scalp by removing the Pottawatomie -Indians from their reservation, was -squeezed through the House by a majority of two -votes. The bill provided for the immediate withdrawal -of the Indians from their reservation in the -Indian Territory, and the location of the tribe -upon another reservation in Colorado, in a part of -the country which is absolutely a desert, without -water or shrubbery, and wholly unfit for the residence -of any animal of a higher grade than a rattlesnake.</p> - -<p>By some means the information of the action of -the House was conveyed to the Pottawatomie chiefs, -and they expressed to their agent their disgust in -very strong language. The agent was scared, and -he sent to Fort Gibson for a company of cavalry to -protect him. The commander could spare but ten -men. When the Indians discovered the approach -of the soldiers they imagined that a force was coming -to drive them from their homes, and accordingly<span class="pagenum" id="Page_296">296</span> -they attacked the squad, killed all but one -man, and then the entire tribe went upon the -warpath.</p> - -<p>The Government took instant action. The Indians -numbered about one thousand warriors. The -force sent to crush them included not more than -two hundred cavalrymen. The Indians were -mounted upon fleet and hardy ponies, which could -endure an incredible amount of fatigue and live -upon grass. The cavalrymen bestrode horses which -had performed service in New York omnibuses -and upon St. Louis horse-cars, and which could -hardly be driven faster than six miles an hour under -stress. The Indians were armed with telescope -rifles, breech-loading, and warranted to kill at -three-quarters of a mile. These had been furnished -gratuitously in time of peace by a beneficent -Government. The soldiers were armed with -short-range carbines, and with sabres which were -about as useful in fighting savages who never came -within gun-shot as a fishing-rod would have been. -The Indians carried upon their ponies what food -they wanted. The military force was encumbered -by ambulances and several wagons carrying camp -equipage. In a fight at close quarters the soldiers -could have beaten their adversaries easily. In a -race, which permitted no other fighting than occasional -skirmishing, all the chances were on the -side of the Indians; and a race was what the combatants -were in for.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_297">297</span> -Just before the expedition was ready to start, -General Belcher, by bringing some influence indirectly -to bear, succeeded in having Major Dunwoody -detailed to accompany it in command of the -Commissary Department. The Major was wild with -vexation and disgust.</p> - -<p>“Pandora, darling,” he said, “you know that I -was to get my leg to-morrow, and that we were to -be married within the month?”</p> - -<p>“Well! Won’t we? Is anything wrong?”</p> - -<p>“Wrong! Why, my dear, I have just received -from the War Department orders to accompany -the expedition against the Pottawatomies. I start -to-morrow for Fort Gibson.”</p> - -<p>“How can you ride, with only one leg?”</p> - -<p>“I am to command the Commissary Department. -I shall have to ride in an ambulance. This -is the fault of that accursed Smith. Why didn’t -he and Belcher let the Indians alone?”</p> - -<p>“And we can’t be married, then, until you -return?”</p> - -<p>“I don’t see how. Isn’t it outrageous? I have -the worst luck of any man in the army.”</p> - -<p>Pandora looked as if she were going to cry.</p> - -<p>“And your leg? Won’t you get that until you -come back?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, dear, I will take it out of the Museum -this evening, and you can amuse yourself throwing -it upon the canvas while I am gone.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_298">298</span> -“Oh, that will be so nice!”</p> - -<p>“So nice that I am gone?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, Henry! How could you think I meant -that?”</p> - -<p>“I didn’t; I was only jesting. And you will -think of me sometimes?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, oh yes; every moment of the day.”</p> - -<p>“And you love me very much?”</p> - -<p>“Indeed, indeed, I do!”</p> - -<p>“My darling!”</p> - -<p>“My dearest!”</p> - -<p>Probably the curtain might as well drop again at -this point.</p> - -<p>The expedition started from Fort Gibson. It -marched straight across the Indian territory to -the Pottawatomie Reservation. The savages had -moved off, about a day’s march ahead of the soldiers, -toward the northwest. The military pressed -forward; the Indians kept always just a little in advance. -The two forces crossed into Kansas. The -troops pressed their omnibus horses a little harder, -and came within sight of the Indian rear-guard. -Then the savages spurred up and increased the interval -between them and the pursuers.</p> - -<p>The Pottawatomies headed for Colorado, and -crossed the line in a few days, with the soldiers the -usual distance behind. Just after passing the Colorado -border, the Colonel commanding resolved to -steal a march upon the foe. One night, instead of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_299">299</span> -going into camp, he pressed on until twelve o’clock, -and then halted upon the bank of the Arkansas -River.</p> - -<p>Four omnibus horses succumbed under the -strain, and ere morning dawned some Pottawatomies -crept into the camp and stole six mules.</p> - -<p>The most degraded Indian was never known to -steal a New York omnibus horse, even in the dark.</p> - -<p>The next day the four dismounted troopers were -placed in an ambulance, and the pursuit began -again. The Indians fled up through Colorado into -Wyoming Territory, and the Colonel commanding -pushed after them, going faster and faster every -day. By the time he reached Fort Russel, just -over the edge of the Wyoming line, the route of -his march was marked with a succession of omnibus -and car horses in various stages of decay. At -the Fort he obtained fresh horses, and sacrificing -the baggage wagons, keeping only the ambulances, -he pressed on.</p> - -<p>On the 27th of August his scouts discovered the -Indians in camp in a valley a few miles ahead. -The Colonel resolved upon a surprise. When -everything was arranged the troops charged down -upon the village with a wild hurrah. Not an Indian -could be seen. The soldiers, however, burned the -lodges and withdrew. Upon their return they -found that in their absence the Indians had stampeded -their mules and all their ambulances but<span class="pagenum" id="Page_300">300</span> -one, which Major Dunwoody had saved by hard -driving.</p> - -<p>The chase was resumed with greater heat than -ever. So far there had not been a chance for anything -like a fight. In fact, not a dozen savages had -been seen.</p> - -<p>Within a week or two Wyoming was traversed -and Montana Territory reached. There, just beyond -the Crow Indian Reservation, the first Pottawatomie -of the campaign was slain. He sneaked -into the camp one night, and while cutting loose -one of Major Dunwoody’s mules, the mule kicked -him upon the head and killed him.</p> - -<p>On the 6th of October the soldiers had marched -for thirty-six hours without rest, and it was believed -that they would at last strike a telling blow upon -the savages. Everything was ready for a fight, and -the troops were full of eagerness for the fray. -While they were halting for water upon a small -creek, a friendly Gros Ventre Indian came in with -the information that the fugitive Pottawatomies had -crossed the British line and were now safe from -pursuit within the dominions of Her Majesty.</p> - -<p>The Colonel and his officers and men fairly tore -the English language into shreds in their efforts to -express with the necessary emphasis their appreciation -of the facts of the situation.</p> - -<p>The “war” cost the Government a little less -than a million and a half dollars, omnibus horses<span class="pagenum" id="Page_301">301</span> -included; and it was estimated by well-informed -persons that the flying Indians, while upon the -route, destroyed private property to the amount of -half a million more, besides killing and scalping a -party of eighteen emigrants which was passing -through Wyoming.</p> - -<p>It seemed like rather a large price to pay for -Mr. Achilles Smith’s scalp.</p> - -<p>Some time during the month of September, -while the chase was in progress, Achilles called at -the house of Mrs. M’Duffy in Washington and -asked for Pandora. He <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Miss M’Duffy, I come upon a somewhat painful -errand, but I have a duty devolving upon me, -and I must perform it.”</p> - -<p>“No bad news from Major Dunwoody, I hope, -Mr. Smith?”</p> - -<p>“I am sorry to say there is.”</p> - -<p>Pandora’s eyes filled with tears. Her face became -pale.</p> - -<p>“What is it?” she asked.</p> - -<p>“I have here a dispatch to the Secretary of War, -saying that in a fight with the Indians, on last -Wednesday week, Major Dunwoody—”</p> - -<p>“Not killed! Oh, please don’t say he was slain! -I can’t bear it.”</p> - -<p>“No, not killed. Major Dunwoody has lost his -other leg and his right arm.”</p> - -<p>“How terrible!” screamed Pandora; then she -wept bitterly.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_302">302</span> -“Terrible, indeed!” replied Smith in a sympathetic -tone. “But you know this is the fortune of -war. This it is to be a soldier.”</p> - -<p>“Poor Henry! How he must have suffered! Do -you know how he is? What are the chances of -recovery?”</p> - -<p>“The dispatch says he is doing very well. But -of course he will be a mere wreck.”</p> - -<p>“It is dreadful, too dreadful!”</p> - -<p>“Perfectly helpless, too. A mere burden upon -those who will have to take care of him.”</p> - -<p>“Not if they love him!”</p> - -<p>“But surely you—you do not intend to cling to -such a—a—such a disintegrated ruin as he?”</p> - -<p>“I shall be true to him unto death.”</p> - -<p>“I had hoped,” said Achilles sadly, “that now -that Dunwoody is reduced to about one half his -original dimensions, I might hope to have you consider -my claims.”</p> - -<p>“Never! It can never be!”</p> - -<p>“Because I am about moving out on the Pottawatomie -Reservation, and with you as my bride I -could make it a little paradise here below. If you -will take me, the Reservation is yours in fee-simple.”</p> - -<p>“I scorn the offer, sir!”</p> - -<p>“You scorn it, do you? Scorn the most splendid -tract of land in the Mississippi Valley for the sake -of marrying half of a man, whom you’ll have to -carry to church in a market basket and to feed -with a spoon!”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_303">303</span> -“Yes, sir. I scorn it and you. For to you and -your wicked schemes against the unoffending -Indians, this awful, this dreadful suffering of Major -Dunwoody is due. I hate you! Yes, I hate you! -Leave the house this instant, sir!”</p> - -<p>Smith withdrew, and as he closed the door -Pandora fell upon the sofa and cried as if her poor -little heart would break.</p> - -<p>Enter Mrs. M’Duffy.</p> - -<p>“Pandora, my child, what is the matter?”</p> - -<p>“Didn’t that horrid Smith tell you?”</p> - -<p>“What horrid Smith? I don’t know any such -person. If you mean Mr. Achilles Smith, why, he -didn’t tell me anything. I have not seen him.”</p> - -<p>“Poor Major Dunwoody has had his arm shot -off.”</p> - -<p>“What! Not another limb lost! Why, the man -is falling apart in sections.”</p> - -<p>“And that’s not the worst of it.”</p> - -<p>“Not the worst? Why, my child, what do you -mean?”</p> - -<p>“His other leg has been amputated.”</p> - -<p>“Humph! Well, that’s agreeable news. No -legs and only one arm. Pity they didn’t amputate -his head at once. I suppose, of course, you will -break your engagement?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, mother! How can you be so unkind?”</p> - -<p>“Pandora M’Duffy, you must be insane. Marry -a man with only one limb. How is he going to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_304">304</span> -waddle around? Do you intend to carry him -under your arm, in a bundle?”</p> - -<p>“He will go on wheels, of course,” said Pandora -with brimming eyes.</p> - -<p>“On wheels! A Hunsicker and a M’Duffy -married to a man on wheels, and who has to slide -on the banister when he wants to come downstairs! -Why don’t you accept Mr. Smith at once? -He is intact, I believe, with the exception of his -scalp. This family seems to be haunted by men -who are more or less in piecemeal.”</p> - -<p>“I would rather die than marry Smith.”</p> - -<p>“You might do it for your mother’s sake, so as -to be near to her.”</p> - -<p>“Near to her? What do you mean?”</p> - -<p>“Why, I came in to tell you, my child, that I -have accepted General Belcher’s hand. I shall -marry him, and we shall probably spend our -summers at his prospective country seat upon the -Pottawatomie Reservation.”</p> - -<p>“General Belcher!” exclaimed Pandora in disgust; -“I never thought, mother, it would come to -<em>that</em>!”</p> - -<p>Then Pandora swept out of the room, with her -handkerchief to her eyes, leaving the majestic Mrs. -M’Duffy in a condition of some uncertainty as to -her daughter’s theory respecting the degree of -humiliation which had been reached in her contract -with the General.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_305">305</span> -“But I know he is rich, and that he has a promise -of an appointment as Minister to Peru, where he -expects to speculate in bark,” said Mrs. M’Duffy to -herself.</p> - -<p>The Secretary of the Interior Department at that -period was an especially capable officer. He -obtained by some means a clue to the secret of the -movement against the Pottawatomie Reservation, -and he followed it industriously by means of his -agents. Late in the month of October he had -probed the matter to the bottom, and he gave it to -the newspapers.</p> - -<p>The entire conspiracy of General Belcher and -Achilles Smith was exposed, and an indignant -nation discovered that the costly struggle with the -Pottawatomies had not even so slight a basis of -justice on the part of the Government as a real -injury done to Achilles Smith. It was ascertained -that Smith had not been scalped at all. He had -merely had his hair pulled at the Pottawatomie -agency by a muscular squaw whom he was trying -to cheat out of her fair allowance of rations.</p> - -<p>It became clear that a Congressional investigation -would be ordered before the year was out, -and Achilles Smith fled. General Belcher’s conduct -excited so much indignation at Kansas, that the -politicians, following the popular lead, turned on -him. He was arrested and tried upon a charge of -bribery, and was committed. When on his way to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_306">306</span> -prison he knocked down his custodian, took the -first horse he came to, and started due South. It is -supposed that he went to Mexico. The feeling in -Kansas is that the unhappy land of the Montezumas -has yet to experience her bitterest woes. It will -be a charming country to emigrate from when -General Belcher begins to feel at home.</p> - -<p>Early in November Major Dunwoody obtained -release from his duties and came to Washington. -He had not warned Pandora; he wished to surprise -her. When he called he withheld his name from -the servant. Pandora entered the room slowly. -When she saw her lover she gave a little scream -of joy and flew towards him. Before reaching him -a thought struck her. She paused and seemed -astonished.</p> - -<p>“What’s the matter, darling? Aren’t you glad -to see me?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, but what—what—why—Henry dear, -how is it you have your leg with you?”</p> - -<p>“I always keep it by me, sweet. It is so convenient -to have it along. You have the other one, -you know.”</p> - -<p>“But, Henry, you appear to have both arms, too.”</p> - -<p>“I brought them to hug you with, you angel, -you.”</p> - -<p>She flew into them, and after a brief moment -expended in exercising their lips, Pandora looked -up into the Major’s face and <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_307">307</span> -“You know, dear, I heard that you had lost -your other leg and one of your arms. I cried about -it for a month.”</p> - -<p>“Who gave you that information?”</p> - -<p>“That scandalous story-teller, Achilles Smith.”</p> - -<p>“Smith, hey! Is he still around? That young -man is actually suffering for somebody to macerate -him.”</p> - -<p>“And you’re not hurt a bit, are you, deary?”</p> - -<p>“I am a little dyspeptic from too regular dieting -upon salt pork so tough that it creaked when I -swallowed it; but that’s all.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, Henry, you don’t know how glad I am!”</p> - -<p>More osculatory exercise at this juncture; but we -will not stop to consider it, satisfactory as it -appeared to be.</p> - -<p>“And now, my love,” said the Major, as they -sat together on the sofa, the Major’s right arm -encircling Pandora’s waist, “tell me about everything.”</p> - -<p>“Well, let me see. First of all—you know, -mother?”</p> - -<p>“Yes.”</p> - -<p>“Well, she is going to marry Colonel Dabney.”</p> - -<p>“You don’t say so?”</p> - -<p>“Yes; she <em>was</em> engaged to General Belcher, -but—”</p> - -<p>“Not old Belcher of Kansas?”</p> - -<p>“Yes; but he proved a rascal, so she discarded<span class="pagenum" id="Page_308">308</span> -him, and now she is engaged to Colonel Dabney. -Splendid, isn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Perfectly splendid. By the way, have you -copied my off leg yet?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, yes; long ago.”</p> - -<p>“Then your picture is done?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, Henry dear, but—”</p> - -<p>“What! Isn’t it satisfactory, after all?”</p> - -<p>“It is to me, darling, but Colonel Dabney says -Congress will never accept it.”</p> - -<p>“Why not?”</p> - -<p>“He seemed embarrassed when I asked him the -reason, and he turned the subject.”</p> - -<p>“Absolutely hopeless, is it?”</p> - -<p>“Colonel Dabney says so.”</p> - -<p>“What will you do with it?”</p> - -<p>“I don’t know, dear; what do you think?”</p> - -<p>“Couldn’t you alter it into something else?”</p> - -<p>“I thought of that. It occurred to me that maybe -I might turn it into the Execution of Mary Queen -of Scots and get the Canadian Government to buy -it.”</p> - -<p>“Not a bad idea.”</p> - -<p>“Paint in different clothes, you know, on Washington, -and fix up the tree somehow into Mary Queen -of Scots. I think the hatchet will do as it is—do -for the executioner’s axe, you know.”</p> - -<p>“I see. It’s a good notion.”</p> - -<p>“Mother said she thought I might make it a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_309">309</span> -battle between a Crusader and a Saracen, but the -tree is in the wrong position for a person supposed -to be fighting.”</p> - -<p>“Won’t do at all, of course.”</p> - -<p>“When General Belcher was here he said he -believed that by painting the grass red so as to -represent fire, and making a mast with rigging out -of the tree, it might pass for the Boy who stood on -the Burning Deck—Casabianca. But the Canadian -Government would not care particularly about the -Boy who stood on the Burning Deck, would they, -Henry?”</p> - -<p>“I have a dim idea that they wouldn’t.”</p> - -<p>“I think I’ll stick to Mary Queen of Scots.”</p> - -<p>“And now about our wedding?”</p> - -<p>“I’m ready.”</p> - -<p>“Name the day.”</p> - -<p>“Will next Thursday do?”</p> - -<p>“Admirable. So, next Thursday you will be my -darling wife.”</p> - -<p>“And you will be my sweet, splendid husband.”</p> - -<p>“Pandora!”</p> - -<p>“Henry!”</p> - -<p>Another fall of the curtain appears to be necessary -just here. We will ring it down. If it could -have been raised again a glimpse might have been -caught of a pretty room in which sat a lovely and -smiling woman by the side of a table, sewing. Close -to her sat a handsome young soldier, with one leg<span class="pagenum" id="Page_310">310</span> -upon the floor. His other leg bobbed about in a -huge jar that rested in a corner. Pandora M’Duffy -had been transformed into Mrs. Major Henry G. -Dunwoody, and she was happy.</p> - -<hr /> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_311">311</span></p> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 id="JINNIE">“JINNIE.”<br /> - -<span class="subhead">A STORY OF A CHILD.</span></h2> -</div> - -<div><img class="drop-cap" src="images/i_311.png" width="66" height="68" alt="J" /></div> - -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="firstword">“Jinnie!</span> Vir-r-rginia-a-a! You ‘Jin’! If -you’re not here in a minute, I’ll whip you -within an inch of your life!”</p> - -<p>It was the shrill voice of Mrs. Tyke. Down -from some mysterious part of the recesses of the -house it came with the force and precision of a -rifle-ball, through the narrow hall and open door to -the ears of Jinnie, who was scrubbing the front -steps.</p> - -<p>Why Mrs. Tyke desired that the steps and the -pavement should be scrubbed upon that cold and -dismal December morning cannot be imagined. -Probably she herself could not have given a reason -for it if she had been asked. The bricks looked -very clean and wholesome before the work began, -and the marble steps were almost painfully white. -Now, the pavement was covered with a film of ice -upon which pedestrians slipped and were provoked -to anger, and the steps were positively so icy as to -be unfit for use.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_312">312</span> -The voice of Mrs. Tyke gave fresh impetus to -the arm of the child, who was just giving a few finishing -wipes to the uppermost step. She was a -little child, surely not more than eight years of age. -As she knelt upon the marble, rather painful prominence -was given to a pair of shoes which might -once have been the property of Mrs. Tyke herself, -but which were now worn, as forlorn and riddled -wrecks, upon feet which were stockingless. The -thin little legs above the leather ruins were blue -with cold, and the tiny arms which wielded the -wiping-cloth with accelerated speed were bare and -chapped to redness.</p> - -<p>If it was an offence to cover a pavement with ice -upon such a morning, it was a bitter wrong to -compel a little child so poorly clad to perform the -work.</p> - -<p>Before Jinnie had replaced her cloth in her -bucket, Mrs. Tyke appeared in the doorway with -anger in her face. She took hold of one of the -child’s ears with her coarse fingers and pulled her -into the hallway head foremost with as much force -as if she had been shot out of a catapult. Then -Mrs. Tyke, with a vigorous hand, boxed the ear -that she had pulled, cuffed the other ear, impartially, -knocking the child against the wall.</p> - -<p>“I’ll teach you to mind me when I call you! -Pottering and fooling with your work! Now you -go right out into the yard and scrub those bricks<span class="pagenum" id="Page_313">313</span> -in a jiffy, or you’ll know how the broom-handle -feels.”</p> - -<p>Mrs. Tyke was going to have the back-yard -scrubbed also. Why Mrs. Tyke did not scrub the -four walls of the house, and the roof, and the chimney -flues and the fence, and why she did not scrub -the cobble-stones in the street, is an impenetrable -secret.</p> - -<p>Jinnie picked up the bucket, and went staggering -through the hall, into the kitchen, with a feeling -that her head might at any moment tumble off, -as a result of Mrs. Tyke’s blows, and roll upon the -floor. She refilled her bucket at the hydrant, and -began her work with a vigor that promised to make -Mrs. Tyke’s back-yard within a few moments a fit -place for skaters.</p> - -<p>Just before the work was done, Mrs. Tyke appeared -at the window with her bonnet on, and in a -severe tone gave Jinnie some directions respecting -the preparation of dinner during her absence. -Then Mrs. Tyke withdrew, and just as the front -door slammed Jinnie saw the head of a child appear -over the top of the partition fence, between -the yards of Mrs. Tyke and Mrs. Brown.</p> - -<p>Young Miss Brown watched Jinnie putting away -the scrubbing implements, and when Jinnie drew -near to the fence with an apparent purpose to have -some conversation, the little Brown said:</p> - -<p>“It’ll pretty soon be Christmas, now.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_314">314</span> -“Will it?” said Jinnie, without manifesting any -trace of interest in the fact.</p> - -<p>“Yes, and Kris Kingle is coming to our house. -Mamma said so. Does Kris Kingle come to your -house on Christmas?”</p> - -<p>“Nobody ever comes to our house but the milkman. -He is not Kris Kingle, is he?”</p> - -<p>“Oh, no! Don’t you hang up your stockings on -Christmas eve?”</p> - -<p>“I have no stockings to hang up.”</p> - -<p>“Where does Kris Kingle put all your pretty -things, then?”</p> - -<p>“He don’t bring me any. Who is Kris Kingle?”</p> - -<p>“Why, don’t you know? He comes in a sleigh -full of toys, pulled by reindeer, and—”</p> - -<p>“Where does he come from? Ohio?”</p> - -<p>“I guess so. But he comes down the chimbley -every night before Christmas, and—”</p> - -<p>“I expect our chimbley must be too little. Or -maybe he don’t know we live here.”</p> - -<p>“Oh, he knows where everybody lives; all the -little children.”</p> - -<p>“I’m <em>so</em> sorry he forgets me! Maybe it’s because -I have no stockings! Oh, I wish, I wish -I had!”</p> - -<p>“Won’t Mrs. Tyke lend you one of hers?”</p> - -<p>“I’m afraid to ask her. I wonder would Kris -Kingle come if I put a bucket there for him?”</p> - -<p>“I never heard of his giving toys in a bucket.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_315">315</span> -If he gave you a large doll maybe he would. Have -you got a large doll?”</p> - -<p>“I never had any doll. I made one once out of -a dust brush and some rags, but Mrs. Tyke whipped -me and took it away. If I had a real doll I’d be so -happy that I couldn’t stand it.”</p> - -<p>“If Mrs. Tyke whipped you for it that would -keep you from being too happy, wouldn’t it?”</p> - -<p>“Yes.”</p> - -<p>“Why didn’t you ask your mamma to write to -Kris Kingle to come?”</p> - -<p>“I never had a mamma; and no father, either. -I was born in an asylum, and Mrs. Tyke always -says it’s a pity I was ever.”</p> - -<p>“Maybe he’d come if you’d pray to get him.”</p> - -<p>“I only know ‘Now I lay me.’ I learned it at -the asylum; but I daren’t say it out loud any -more.”</p> - -<p>“I don’t know what we can do about it, then.”</p> - -<p>Jinnie began to cry; but suddenly remembering -the imminent probability of Mrs. Tyke’s return, -she wiped her eyes with a rag of her dress, -and <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Good-bye; I must go in now. I have to get -dinner.”</p> - -<p>So she ran into the kitchen, and the head of the -youthful Brown slowly descended until it was -eclipsed by the fence.</p> - -<p>Jinnie went to work to prepare the vegetables<span class="pagenum" id="Page_316">316</span> -for dinner, with her poor little brain in such a stir -of excitement about Kris Kingle and the possibility -of his remembering her or forgetting her, that -she could hardly keep her mind upon the task that -her hands were doing; but she was recalled from -her dreams by the sound of Mrs. Tyke’s step in -the hall; and as Mrs. Tyke perceived that she had -not been very industrious, Mrs. Tyke promptly -boxed her ears. She fell to the floor, and then -Mrs. Tyke kicked her two or three times. This -energetic treatment effectively dispelled all of Jinnie’s -visions of Kris Kingle. She had rarely had -any information upon which to build pleasant -thoughts of what life might have been to her; and -now when her little mind was taking its first flight -into those realms of imagination wherein so many -of the forlorn of earth find at least a taste of happiness, -the red and vigorous hand of Mrs. Tyke -hurled her back once more into the dreary and -dreadful reality of life.</p> - -<p>For the rest of the day Jinnie hurried through -her myriad duties with a tremulous fear upon her -that if she should dare even to think of that mysterious -being who loved the little children she -might invoke still further blows. The blows came -at any rate, more than once, despite her carefulness; -but that was always a part of her experience, -and she bore them perhaps a little better -now because she was looking forward with a faint<span class="pagenum" id="Page_317">317</span> -suggestion of happiness to the night, when she -should lie beneath the scant covering of her bed, -and think without fear of harm of the reindeer and -sleigh and the toys of the kind old man, who might -perhaps not forget her this time.</p> - -<p>When supper-time came Mrs. Tyke ordered her -to go to the baker’s for bread. The shop to which -she had been accustomed to go was closed, for -some reason, and Jinnie sought another, upon -another street. On her way home through the -dusky thoroughfare she came suddenly upon a show-window -brilliantly lighted, and filled with childish -splendors belonging to the Christmas season.</p> - -<p>She had never seen so many beautiful things -before. There were toys of all kinds, some of -which she understood and some of which were all -the more fascinating for the mystery that surrounded -them. There were wagons and horses, -and miniature tea-sets, and pop-guns, and baby -houses, and jumping-jacks, and railroad cars, and -tin steamboats, and make-believe soldier caps; and -these were mingled with clusters of glass balls of -various colors, which glittered in the gaslight in a -most wonderful manner. But the glory of the -window was a huge waxen doll dressed as a bride, -in pure white, with a veil and a wreath and the -loveliest satin dress. She had real golden hair and -the softest blue eyes, that stared and stared as -though they were looking into some other surprising -show-window over the way.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_318">318</span> -Jinnie trembled when she saw this marvellous -doll. She had no idea that anybody ever wore -such wonderful clothing as that. She had never -dreamed that anything could be so beautiful. She -thought she would be perfectly happy if she could -stand there and gaze at it during the remainder of -her life. Oh, if Kris Kingle would come and -leave her such a doll as that! No, that could not -be; it was impossible that she should ever have -such a joyful experience. But maybe he might -bring her a doll like some of the smaller and less -splendid ones which surrounded the bride in swarms. -Yes, she would be satisfied with the very poorest -one of them. She would hide it somewhere, under -her bed covering, perhaps, where Mrs. Tyke could -not see it, but where she could find it and kiss it -and hug it and take it close in her arms when she -went to sleep at night.</p> - -<p>The thought of Mrs. Tyke came to her like a -blow in the midst of her delight. She remembered -that she must hurry homeward, and so taking -a last, long look she turned and ran along the -pavement, her heart filled with a wild, passionate -longing that Kris Kingle would come to her and -bring her something she could love.</p> - -<p>Of course Mrs. Tyke greeted her with angry -words and two or three savage thumps. She expected -that. But Mrs. Tyke was not content with -this. When she sat down to supper she told Jinnie<span class="pagenum" id="Page_319">319</span> -that as she had been unusually idle and bad -that day she should go hungry to bed. Then -Mrs. Tyke ate a particularly hearty meal, with the -child watching her; and when she had finished -she sat by, growling and threatening, while Jinnie -cleared away the tea-things preparatory to being -marched off to bed.</p> - -<p>Jinnie missed her supper sadly, but she did not -mind the hunger so much on that night, for her -mind was busy with new delights.</p> - -<p>It was dark in her room, but she knew where -the chimney was; and before she undressed she -went over and felt it. There was a hole there for -a stove-pipe, but it had paper pasted over it.</p> - -<p>“Perhaps,” said Jinnie, “Kris Kingle did not -come because the hole was shut.”</p> - -<p>He would not come down the chimney and out -into the dining-room, she knew, because he would -have to go through the stove; and that would -burn him, and his toys, too, perhaps. She thought -it might be an inducement for him to come if she -should punch a hole through the paper. She was -afraid to tear it off, afraid of Mrs. Tyke’s vengeance; -so she pushed her finger through it. Then -she undressed, and went hopefully to her bed upon -the floor.</p> - -<p>But not to sleep; she was too greatly excited. -She began to wonder why it was that life was so -terrible. She never imagined that her life differed<span class="pagenum" id="Page_320">320</span> -from those of other children. It is the peculiar -infamy of brutality to a child that the victim does -not know how to sound the cry for the help that is -almost always near to it. It accepts its lot as a -thing of course; it does not know that there are -perhaps within a few short steps of its house of -suffering hearts that would stir with wrath for its -wrongs, and that there is within reach a law which -would bring retribution upon the head of its oppressor.</p> - -<p>Jinnie believed that all childhood was a time of -punishment and misery. She saw other children -playing in the street who seemed merry and joyous, -and she could not understand why they were so. -She remembered the Brown girl, also, and how she -had heard her sometimes laughing and singing. -Jinnie could not laugh and sing in her house with -Mrs. Tyke near her. She thought the other -children might be happy because they had dolls, -and because they could have their stockings filled -at Christmas time. She knew that grown-up people -were not abused as she was, but it seemed such a -long, long time to wait until she was grown up. -She felt that when she was she would be kinder to -children, and not strike them with the poker, at -any rate, as Mrs. Tyke sometimes struck her.</p> - -<p>And if Kris Kingle should come down into her -room through the hole in the paper, she thought -she would like to be awake and to ask him to take<span class="pagenum" id="Page_321">321</span> -her away with him in his sleigh somewhere. As -she dwelt upon this she pictured herself going up -the chimney and then flying over the roofs behind -the reindeer, and looking back at Mrs. Tyke standing -at the window and cursing her. And so she -fell asleep and into a tangled maze of dreams, -wherein Kris Kingle, Mrs. Tyke and the doll-baby -bride were mingled in great confusion.</p> - -<p>Jinnie’s first thought in the morning was the last -that she had upon the night before. But as she -hurriedly dressed herself it flashed across her mind -that as there was grave peril that Kris Kingle -might not come to her, perhaps it would make -matters surer if she should go to him.</p> - -<p>The milkman, whose cry she expected every -moment, to her seemed a likely person to know -where Kris lived, and to take her there. Young -Miss Brown had rather indicated that Kris’s home -was in Ohio; but whether Ohio was a little piece up -the street or millions of miles away, or whether it -was a house or a stable or a town, she did not know. -The milkman had spoken pleasantly to her sometimes, -and he had a wagon. It was not as attractive -as a sleigh with reindeer, but she had often longed -to ride in it. She determined to speak to him. -But when he came and she opened the door with a -beating heart, he snatched the pitcher from her -hand and frowned while he filled it. He was -thinking of some offensive suggestions made by<span class="pagenum" id="Page_322">322</span> -Mrs. Tyke upon the preceding evening in reference -to his too intense partiality for water; and he -seemed so cross that Jinnie was afraid to speak to -him.</p> - -<p>She came into the house again sorrowfully, but -with a strong purpose to seek some other means of -reaching Kris Kingle; and she carried this determination -with her stubbornly through all the fatigues -and hardships of the day.</p> - -<p>About four o’clock in the afternoon Mrs. Tyke -went out. Jinnie felt that her time had come. She -resolved to make an effort to find Kris Kingle, to -tell him of her longing desire, and to return home -again before Mrs. Tyke got back. She put her -woollen hood upon her head, wrapped around her -shoulders the thin and faded rag which Mrs. Tyke -dignified with the name of a shawl; and then she -concluded to take a newspaper with her, so that if -Kris Kingle showed any disposition to urge the -doll-baby upon her in advance of Christmas, she -could have something to wrap it in.</p> - -<p>When she came out of the house she crossed -the street so that she could notice particularly -whether there was anything in the construction of -the roof of Mrs. Tyke’s dwelling which would be -likely to discourage Kris Kingle from attempting -to reach the chimney. She saw that the roof was -much lower than the roofs of the houses upon each -side of it, and that it sloped at a sharp angle toward<span class="pagenum" id="Page_323">323</span> -the front, while they were flat. The chimney, also, -was certainly smaller than others in the vicinity, -and the conclusion reached by the child’s mind was -that Kris Kingle had probably been indisposed to -take the risks of running his sleigh upon so precipitous -a roof for the sake of descending such a -very narrow chimney.</p> - -<p>This gave a fresh impulse to the child’s purpose -to visit Kris Kingle, so that she might plead with -him to make a call at Mrs. Tyke’s despite the -inconveniences of the construction of the house. It -occurred to her that she might possibly arrange for -him to come to the front door and ring the bell, -when she would come softly down stairs and open -to receive him.</p> - -<p>While she thought of the matter she walked -quickly up the street, now somewhat gloomy in the -early dusk, but before she had gone far she reflected -that she ought to inquire the way to Ohio before -the darkness should come. She paused to speak -to two or three men who were hurrying by, but -evidently they thought she intended to ask alms -of them, and so they would not pause to listen to -her. She was discouraged; but at last she saw a -boy standing by a street lamp, doing nothing, and -she resolved to ask him.</p> - -<p>He laughed rudely at her question and walked -away. A moment later he turned and threw a -snowball at her. It hit her in the face and hurt<span class="pagenum" id="Page_324">324</span> -her badly; and her foot slipping upon the icy pavement, -she fell. A moment elapsed before she was -able to rise; but at last she got up, and although -she was cold and weak and greatly discouraged, she -thought she would press on. She might never -have so good a chance again; and if she did not -see Kris Kingle now, Christmas would come, and -he would come and go, and there would be no doll -for her.</p> - -<p>While she was standing there, in a very miserable -frame of mind, a nicely dressed lady went past -her. Presently the lady turned and looked at her; -then she came back to where Jinnie stood and -spoke to her.</p> - -<p>“What is your name, my child?” asked the lady.</p> - -<p>“Virginia, ma’am. But Mrs. Tyke generally -calls me Jinnie.” She had never heard so sweet a -voice. It seemed so beautiful, so gentle, so full of -tender pity, that it thrilled her with a strange joy.</p> - -<p>“And where are you going?”</p> - -<p>“I am going out to Ohio, to see Kris Kingle.”</p> - -<p>The lady smiled; but the smile faded into a look -of deep compassion, and she <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Did your mother let you come away from -home?”</p> - -<p>“I have no mother. I’m a bound girl.”</p> - -<p>“Who sent you to find Kris Kingle?”</p> - -<p>“Nobody. He always forgets to come to our -house, so I was goin’ to put him in mind.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_325">325</span> -“Don’t you get any toys or candy on Christmas?”</p> - -<p>“No, ma’am. Mrs. Tyke won’t give me any, -and Kris Kingle forgets me. And I never tasted -candy but once.”</p> - -<p>“Is Mrs. Tyke the woman you live with?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, ma’am.”</p> - -<p>“Does she treat you kindly?”</p> - -<p>“Whips me and knocks me down sometimes.”</p> - -<p>“Will you go back to her?”</p> - -<p>“Oh yes, ma’am. I am going right back as soon -as I see Kris Kingle.”</p> - -<p>The lady took her hand and resolved to go back -with her, and to see the terrible Mrs. Tyke. She -told Jinnie so, and Jinnie submitted, although she -was grieved to forego her errand.</p> - -<p>“Do you know who Kris Kingle really is?” the -lady asked.</p> - -<p>“Yes; he brings nice things down the chimbley -to children.”</p> - -<p>“He does better things than that, my dear. The -real Kris Kingle is the Christ-child.”</p> - -<p>“Who is He?”</p> - -<p>“Did you never hear anybody tell of Christ?”</p> - -<p>“No, ma’am.”</p> - -<p>“He is God. He came down here to live upon -earth, where He suffered and died for us. He -loved little children, for He was Himself once a -child.”</p> - -<p>“Was He little, like me?”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_326">326</span> -“Yes.”</p> - -<p>“How did He suffer?”</p> - -<p>“Wicked men insulted Him and beat Him and -killed Him.”</p> - -<p>“Did they beat Him and strike Him like they -do me?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, my poor child.”</p> - -<p>“What makes Him love me? Because I am -beaten just like He was?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, yes, that is it. But He loves everybody, -good and bad.”</p> - -<p>“He doesn’t know Mrs. Tyke, does He?”</p> - -<p>“He knows everybody in the world.”</p> - -<p>“Where is He now?”</p> - -<p>“Up in Heaven.”</p> - -<p>“Is that farther than Ohio?”</p> - -<p>“Yes, that is far, far away in the skies.”</p> - -<p>“Then how does He get here? I always -thought the real Kris Kingle came down chimbleys.”</p> - -<p>“He comes in your heart, my dear child. You -will understand it all some day.”</p> - -<p>The lady seemed strangely moved as she said -this to Jinnie; but she said nothing, and led Jinnie -through the street, towards the child’s home.</p> - -<p>When Jinnie and her companion reached Mrs. -Tyke’s house and rang the bell, Mrs. Tyke herself -came to the door and opened it. As soon as she -saw Jinnie she poured out at her a volley of abusive<span class="pagenum" id="Page_327">327</span> -words, without regarding the presence of the -lady who accompanied her. The lady remonstrated -with Mrs. Tyke, and then Mrs. Tyke assailed -her with her tongue. The lady then told -Mrs. Tyke that she knew of the cruel treatment to -which the child had been subjected, and that she -would interfere if it was repeated.</p> - -<p>Jinnie was astonished that any one should be so -bold as to speak with so much severity to Mrs. -Tyke. The response made to this threat by Mrs. -Tyke was to seize Jinnie by the arm, to drag her -suddenly into the hallway, and to slam the door in -the lady’s face.</p> - -<p>The lady stood upon the step and listened. She -could hear Mrs. Tyke beating the child and cursing -her; and then the sounds receded, as if Mrs. -Tyke were dragging Jinnie into a room at the end -of the hallway. Mrs. Tyke was in a paroxysm of -fury; and she intended to visit upon Jinnie the -vengeance she would have liked to inflict upon -Jinnie’s unknown friend.</p> - -<p>Beating was too common and too tame a form -of punishment. Mrs. Tyke’s ingenuity devised a -more terrible one. She made the child remove -her shoes, and then she tied her upon a chair, with -her naked feet within a few inches of the hot -stove. In that position she left Jinnie, who bore -the frightful pain bravely, until presently she -fainted.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_328">328</span> -If there is no hell, what is going to become of -people like Mrs. Tyke?</p> - -<p>When Jinnie regained consciousness, Mrs. Tyke -sternly ordered her to go up to bed; and Jinnie -crawled up the staircase slowly and painfully upon -her hands and knees, suffering so much that she -could hardly help screaming aloud.</p> - -<p>She reached her room at last, and flung herself -down upon the bed. Her pain was so great that it -was a long while before she could go to sleep; and -she lay there thinking with all her might about -Kris Kingle and the doll baby, and her adventures -in the street, and wondering if she would ever be -any happier. Then she remembered what little -Miss Brown had said about praying, and what the -sweet lady had told her about the Christ-child -and His wondrous love; and so she thought she -would try to pray to Him; and praying, she fell -asleep.</p> - -<p>The lady who brought Jinnie home turned away -with her soul filled with indignation at Mrs. Tyke’s -cruelty to the child, and she determined to have it -ended. She knew a man, Thomas Elwood, who -was active in the service of the Society for Protecting -Children from Cruelty, and she went to his -house. He was a very plain Friend; a young -man, and of a fair countenance. He was at home -with his wife, and both expressed deep interest in -the visitor’s story. The visitor left with the assurance<span class="pagenum" id="Page_329">329</span> -from Elwood that the case would receive -attention early the next morning.</p> - -<p>Next morning, when Mrs. Tyke called Jinnie, -Jinnie tried to rise, but found that she could not: -she was too feeble and wretched. Mrs. Tyke saw -this, and she did not compel Jinnie to get up. -Mrs. Tyke was beginning to be frightened. So -Jinnie fell asleep again, and when she awoke it was -broad daylight, and a man with what seemed to be -an angelic face was standing beside her. It was -Thomas Elwood. Jinnie was startled; her first -impression was that this was Kris Kingle, come in -answer to her prayer. But when Jinnie looked at -the finger-hole she had made in the fire-board and -at the man, and particularly at the circumference -of his hat, it seemed to her impossible, if this was -Kris Kingle, that he should have come in by way -of Mrs. Tyke’s chimney.</p> - -<p>Thomas Elwood spoke to her and asked her if -she suffered much. She said yes, and then she -asked him if he really was Kris Kingle.</p> - -<p>Thomas smiled and <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“No, dear child; but I am thy friend, and I am -going to take thee away from this misery and keep -thee until thee is well again.”</p> - -<p>Then he lifted Jinnie in his arms, bore her downstairs -and out, and placed her in a carriage.</p> - -<p>“Where is Mrs. Tyke?” thought Jinnie. Mrs. -Tyke was at a magistrate’s office, listening to Mrs.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_330">330</span> -Brown and others of the neighbors while they testified -of her brutal treatment of Jinnie. The lady -who had brought Jinnie home was there also; and -Jinnie was kindly pressed by the magistrate to tell -what Mrs. Tyke had done to her.</p> - -<p>Mrs. Tyke gave bail and went home. Thomas -Elwood took Jinnie to his own house, and his wife -wept as he told her how the child had been tortured. -She carried Jinnie upstairs and washed -her, and dressed her in clothes that Jinnie thought -were wonderful, though they were so plain. Then -she kissed Jinnie and said to <span class="locked">her,—</span></p> - -<p>“I once had a little girl of thy age; but a year -ago she died. She even looked like thee, my dear.”</p> - -<p>Jinnie was so weak that she had to lie upon the -bed when the washing and dressing were over; -“and such a bed!” thought Jinnie. Thomas Elwood’s -wife brought some breakfast up to her, and -Jinnie thought that she had never tasted anything -so good. She did not know that such delicious -food could be found anywhere in the world.</p> - -<p>Jinnie grew better and stronger in a few days, -and Thomas Elwood and his wife became so much -attached to her that they resolved that they would -keep her and adopt her in the place of the child -that had been taken away from them.</p> - -<p>Jinnie was very happy, and she talked freely with -them. She told them about her search for Kris -Kingle, and about that splendid doll she saw in the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_331">331</span> -window on the night she went to the strange -baker’s.</p> - -<p>Although entertaining sentiments which forbade -any enthusiasm for Christmas and Kris Kingle, -and dolls in gorgeous apparel, something impelled -Thomas Elwood to go to see that special -doll.</p> - -<p>That night, as he sat with his wife in front of the -grate fire in the sitting-room, she said to him, -Jinnie being in <span class="locked">bed,—</span></p> - -<p>“Thomas, does thee think there would be any -harm in giving Virginia a little pleasure on the -25th of this month?”</p> - -<p>“How does thee mean, Rachel?”</p> - -<p>“Well, she seems to have her little head filled -with nonsense about Kris Kingle and Christmas, -and as the poor child has had a life so full of misery, -I thought, perhaps, we might—”</p> - -<p>“Thee doesn’t mean to keep Christmas in this -house, does thee?”</p> - -<p>“Not exactly that, but—”</p> - -<p>“What would Friends say if we should do that?”</p> - -<p>“No; but there can be no harm in giving the -poor child some playthings, and we may as well -give them upon one day as another.”</p> - -<p>“What kind of playthings would thee give -her?”</p> - -<p>“Why not buy her a doll? She seemed to like -that doll at Thomas Smith’s store very much.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_332">332</span> -“But, Rachel, that doll was dressed in a most -worldly manner. Ought we to risk filling the -child’s mind with vain and frivolous notions about -dress?”</p> - -<p>“She has hardly had a chance to feed her vanity -in that manner thus far.”</p> - -<p>“Thee would be willing, then,” said Thomas, “to -buy for her that gaily-dressed doll?”</p> - -<p>“I think I would; just this once.”</p> - -<p>“Well,” said Thomas, slowly, “I am glad to hear -thee say so, because to-day I bought that very -doll.” And he produced it from a bundle that he -took from under the sofa.</p> - -<p>Kris Kingle came to Jinnie that Christmas eve, -and in the morning her joy as she clasped the doll -in her arms was so great that she could not express -it. While she was at the breakfast table Thomas -Elwood was called to the parlor to see a visitor. -Presently he summoned Jinnie, and when Jinnie -came into the room she was startled to see Mrs. -Tyke. It flashed across her mind that Mrs. Tyke -had come to take her away, and she began to cry. -Thomas Elwood comforted her. Mrs. Tyke had -come to beg for mercy. She wished to escape -prosecution.</p> - -<p>Thomas turned to Jinnie and <span class="locked">said,—</span></p> - -<p>“Virginia, this is the woman who has done thee -so much harm. I can have her punished if I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_333">333</span> -wish. What would thee do to her if thee had -thy way?”</p> - -<p>“I would forgive her,” said Jinnie, timidly.</p> - -<p>It seemed as if Jinnie had been visited also by -the <em>real</em> Kris Kingle. Mrs. Tyke was permitted to -go unpunished.</p> - -<div class="chapter"><div class="transnote"> -<h2 class="nobreak p1"><a id="Transcribers_Notes"></a>Transcriber’s Notes</h2> - -<p>Punctuation, hyphenation, and spelling were made -consistent when a predominant preference was found -in the original book; otherwise they were not changed.</p> - -<p>Simple typographical errors were corrected; unbalanced -quotation marks were remedied.</p> - -<p>Except for the Frontispiece, illustrations in this eBook -have been positioned next to paragraphs they reference, and -page number references in the captions have been removed, as -they’re not needed.</p> -</div></div> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Fortunate Island and Other Stories, by -Max Adeler - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FORTUNATE ISLAND, OTHER STORIES *** - -***** This file should be named 60632-h.htm or 60632-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/6/3/60632/ - -Produced by Tim Lindell, Charlie Howard, and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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