path: root/60611-0.txt

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 60611 ***

[Illustration:

  This Book Belongs To—
]

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[Illustration:

  “FRIENDS,” SAID THE GENERAL, ADDRESSING THE CROWD, “I HAVE TERRIBLE
    NEWS!”—_Chapter One_.
]

------------------------------------------------------------------------





                                  The

                             TEENIE WEENIES

                            IN THE WILDWOOD


                                   BY
                            WILLIAM DONAHEY

[Illustration]

                             Illustrated by
                               THE AUTHOR




                          The Reilly & Lee Co.
                                Chicago




------------------------------------------------------------------------




[Illustration:

  Copyright, 1923, by
  THE REILLY & LEE CO.
  ———
  All Rights Reserved
  ———
  PRINTED IN
  THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
]




Mr. Donahey is of the staff of The Chicago Tribune, and to that
newspaper the author-artist and the publishers extend thanks for
courtesies in connection with the publication of this book.


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                            LIST OF CHAPTERS


               Chapter                                  Page

                  1 Alarming News                       7

                  2 The Captured Teenie Weenies        11

                  3 Campaign Preparations              16

                  4 A Warning in Camp                  20

                  5 The Queen of the Wild Men          24

                  6 The Storm                          26

                  7 A Suspension Bridge                29

                  8 A Badly Frightened Army            33

                  9 The Captives Attend a Dance        36

                 10 Help from a Ground Robin           39

                 11 The Poet Learns Sabo               44

                 12 Gogo’s Brave Act                   48

                 13 The Attack                         52

                 14 On the Wild Men’s Island           56

                 15 A Council of War                   59

                 16 Wild Men Bottled Up                63

                 17 The Dunce in Disgrace              66

                 18 Consulting an Engineer             70

                 19 The Old Soldier’s War Machine      74

                 20 The Dunce Looks for Excitement     79

                 21 The Scouts Have a Narrow           83
                    Escape

                 22 The Battle                         89

                 23 The Red Cross                      92

                 24 Let There Be Peace                 96

                 25 The Peace Dance                   103

                 26 Home                              109

                 27 The Grand Review                  114


------------------------------------------------------------------------


                           The Teenie Weenies
                            In the Wildwood




                              Chapter One

                             ALARMING NEWS


The Teenie Weenies had known for some time that a tribe of tiny wild men
lived in a big swamp many teenie weenie miles from the shoe house. Field
mice and birds had carried the news of these strange little people to
the Teenie Weenies. The wild men lived in the heart of a big forest and
they spoke a language quite different from the Teenie Weenies.

“These wild men are very cruel,” a friendly bird told the Teenie
Weenies. “They are called Saboes, or frog eaters, and they would just as
soon destroy a person as look at him.”

“Well, they will never hurt us,” the General said, “for we shall leave
them alone and, besides, they live a great distance from the shoe
house.”

“Well, you’d better watch out for them; there are a great many of these
wild men and you can never tell when they might come along,” said the
bird, who was a mourning dove and always looked on the dark side of
things.

The Teenie Weenies didn’t worry about the wild men much, for they lived
so far away and, besides, there was the Teenie Weenie army ever ready to
protect them against an enemy. But the little people soon had cause for
worry, for a dreadful thing happened.

One afternoon a snail raced slowly up to the shoe house with alarming
news—the Lady of Fashion and the Poet had been captured by the wild men!

“Gracious!” gasped the General. “How did you find this out?”

“I-I-I-I saw them captured,” answered the snail. “The wild men took them
and put them in their boat and paddled down the creek. There must have
been five or six of the wild men. They all had bows and arrows and
spears too, and they looked terribly fierce.”

“Ring the bell,” cried the General. “We’ll have a great council and see
what can be done.”

Several of the Teenie Weenies ran to the old derby hat which served the
little people as a school house and armory, and began furiously to ring
the tiny bell. All the birds and animals who lived near the little
village knew that when the bell rang long and loud it was a signal for
them to come. In a few minutes, two birds flew under the rose bush where
the village stood and one by one, several mice, a squirrel and a couple
of intelligent-looking bugs appeared.

“Friends,” said the General, addressing the assembled crowd, “I have
terrible news! The Lady of Fashion and the Poet have been captured by
the wild men. This—this snail here has just brought the report.”

The Teenie Weenies and their friends were much shocked by the news,
while the snail strutted about, feeling quite important at being the
bearer of such an exciting message.

[Illustration]

“When did this happen?” asked the mouse with a squeaky voice.

“About five or six hours ago,” answered the snail. “I was walkin’ near
the creek when—”

“Five or six hours ago!” shouted the General, turning on the snail. “For
the land’s sake, why didn’t you come immediately?”

“I-I-I did,” answered the snail, with an injured expression. “I came
just as fast as I could crawl.”

“Of course you did,” said the General kindly. “I beg your pardon. I
forgot for the moment that you do not move as fast as most of us.” The
snail, who had rather a sensitive nature, was quite hurt by the
General’s words and it instantly shrank back into its shell.

After some talk it was decided to scatter up and down the creek in
search of the lost Teenie Weenies. The birds flew up and down the creek
until it was quite too dark for them to see, while the little people and
the rest of their friends hunted all through the night without a sign of
the Lady of Fashion and the Poet.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                              Chapter Two

                      THE CAPTURED TEENIE WEENIES


While the Teenie Weenies were searching along the creek for the Lady of
Fashion and the Poet, those two little people were being rapidly paddled
down the stream and away from their friends.

The Lady of Fashion and the Poet had gone to the bank of the creek for a
picnic. They had eaten their lunch and the Lady of Fashion suggested
that they walk down the stream in search of wild flowers. They had only
gone a little ways when the wild men, who had been watching them,
suddenly leaped upon them from behind a big bush. In a few seconds the
wild little fellows had carried their tiny prisoners to their canoe,
after having securely bound their hands behind them. Lifting the Teenie
Weenies into the boat the wild men jumped in after them and began to
paddle down the creek.

“This is a pretty bag of seeds,” moaned the Poet as the boat shot
rapidly down the stream. “It’s hard to tell what will become of us now.”

“If—if we could just get word to the General,” whispered the Lady of
Fashion, “he’d bring the army and come after these—these wild men and
rescue us.”

“There’s no chance of writing a note and dropping it somewhere, with our
hands tied behind us.”

“I’ll tell you what we can do,” whispered the Lady of Fashion. “If we
should see a bird we can call to it and ask it to tell the General that
we have been captured.”

[Illustration]

But the two Teenie Weenies never came close enough to a bird all that
day, for the wild men paddled their canoe near the shore of the creek
under the cover of the overhanging ferns and grass.

[Illustration:

  THE QUEEN OF THE WILD MEN, SITTING ON THE BACK OF HER TURTLE.—_Chapter
    Five._
]

As the canoe floated along down the stream the Lady of Fashion and the
Poet spent their time studying the strange little wild men, or Saboes,
as they were called. They were sturdily built little chaps, but a trifle
smaller than the Teenie Weenies. They had dark brown skins, bushy hair,
and around their fierce-looking eyes were painted circles of white. One
or two of the wild men wore shirts with skirts almost to their knees,
but the most of them were dressed only in trousers which were made from
the skins of young frogs. Their spears were made of long sticks with a
sharp fish bone tied to the end, and several of them carried bows and
arrows, while their war clubs were made by fastening sharp blackberry
thorns to a short handle. Many of the little wild men wore strings of
beautifully carved raspberry beads about their necks and arms, which the
little fellows called “gum gum,” the Sabo name for money.

The canoe, which the little men paddled very skillfully, was made from a
huge cucumber, and on the end of the boat was painted a queer face. This
face was supposed to look like a cat and was meant to frighten the
Saboes’ enemies.

When evening came on and it began to grow dark, the wild men stopped on
a sandy beach, where they made the two Teenie Weenies understand by
motions that they would rest a while.

Several of the Saboes bent over the stem of a tall dandelion, while one
of the little men gathered an armful of the soft, fluffy down, which he
put on the ground and covered with dry grass and sticks. He then took
two sticks and rubbed them together so hard that they grew very hot and
soon a spark fell into the dandelion down, which blazed up and quickly
set fire to the grass and sticks.

Presently two of the wild men, who had disappeared in the direction of
the creek, returned and one of them carried the leg of a frog over his
shoulder. The little men cut the leg into great chunks almost as big as
a pea and these were soon roasting over the fire.

The Lady of Fashion and the Poet sat on a log beside the fire and
although the Lady of Fashion tried hard to keep from crying, every now
and then a tear would trickle down her tiny cheek.

“Don’t worry,” said the Poet. “The General will find some way to come to
our rescue. He won’t let any harm come to us.”

“I-I-I s-s-s-suppose so,” sobbed the little lady. “But I-I-I haven’t a
clean handkerchief and—and—and my hair is a sight!”

In spite of the fact that the Teenie Weenies were terribly worried, the
roasting meat smelled wonderfully good and when it was done the
prisoners’ hands were untied and they were each given a piece. Both ate
a good portion and agreed that it was delicious. They wiped their
fingers on a leaf and then the wild men tied their hands again and made
them understand that they were to sleep.

All night long the wild men kept up a bright fire. They took turns
sleeping and watching their prisoners, but the two Teenie Weenies needed
very little watching, for they were quite tired out with the day’s
experience and slept most of the night.

At the very first break of day the wild men were awake and after a
hurried breakfast of frog ham and a blackberry which one of the men
found, they once more pushed out in the canoe and paddled down the
stream.

Two days later they landed on the island where the wild men lived. When
the two Teenie Weenies stepped out of the canoe a great number of the
wild little people came running toward them. The women and children
stared at them in great astonishment, while the men danced and swung
their clubs and spears in a most terrible way.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                             Chapter Three

                         CAMPAIGN PREPARATIONS


All night long the Teenie Weenies searched without success for the
captured Lady of Fashion and the Poet. The Indian found the spot where
they had been surprised and taken. Their tiny footprints and the tracks
of the wild men, as well as the spot where the canoe had been pushed
into the water, showed plainly in the moist sand.

“Him wild man, him get good start,” grunted the Indian after he had
studied the footprints for some time. “We no catch ’um before him get
home.”

“I’m afraid not,” answered the General. “If that slow-poke snail had
been a little faster we might have caught them.”

“Ugh!” was all the Indian said.

When all the Teenie Weenies had returned to the little village after the
search, the General called a meeting.

“Men,” he began, “we have got to do something and do it quickly!”

“Call out the army, why don’t you?” shouted an excited mouse that had
joined the crowd.

“I believe we’ll have to,” answered the General. “I hate to use the
army, but I don’t see what else we can do. These wild men are very
savage and I have been told that there are many of them. If we go after
the Lady of Fashion and the Poet, we are going on a hard and dangerous
mission. We will have many long miles to march and there—there may be
fighting. Now, men, I will put it to a vote. All those in favor of
sending the army after the wild men in order to free our friends will
say ‘yes.’”

“Yes!” shouted every single Teenie Weenie, so loudly that they made the
leaves tremble on the old rose bush overhead.

[Illustration]

The little people started at once to prepare for the trip into the
forest, for it was there that the wild men lived. It takes a great deal
of work to outfit an army and the little men were soon buzzing about as
busy as bees.

Two squirrels offered their services, but the General was forced to
refuse them, for they were such big eaters that the army could not
afford to feed them.

Several mice were hired to pull the wagons and the cannons and also for
the officers to ride.

A great quantity of food and tools had to be brought out and loaded into
the wagons. It took seven hundred grains of wheat, six hundred grains of
corn, thirty raisins, six dried prunes, fifty-eight beans, to say
nothing of cocoa, salt, pepper, baking powder, picks, shovels, pulleys,
ropes, tents, a great quantity of cheese for the mice-horses and many
other things.

It was quite late that night before the wagons were loaded and most of
the little soldiers slept in their uniforms, for the army was to start
into the forest soon after daylight.

The army was to be made up of a division of ten infantrymen, two
artillerymen, two mounted scouts, two cooks, a doctor and two nurses.

The General was in command, with the Old Soldier as chief of staff,
while Paddy Pinn had command of the artillery.

When the little soldiers had said their last good-byes, the men stepped
into line and at the gruff command of the General they swung away
towards the great forest in which the wild men lived. The Indian and the
Cowboy, mounted on mice, rode ahead of the army and picked out the best
and easiest road for the soldiers, while the Turk, who was chosen as the
aviator, flew above the army on the back of a bird, ever watchful for
enemies.

At noon the army halted for lunch beneath the shade of a lilac bush,
where each man eagerly devoured the grain of baked wheat which had been
given to each soldier that morning as his ration.

After they had rested a bit, and when they had filled their tiny
canteens with water from an old tin can, the command was given to “fall
in.” Once more the army took up the march.

The army had a hard time that afternoon, for the road it traveled was
very rough. The little soldiers had to stop every now and then to chop
weeds and dandelions from the road so the wagons and cannon could pass.
Late in the afternoon the Turk told the General he had sighted an
excellent place for a camp, and all the tired little chaps were made
very happy when the order was given to make camp for the night.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                              Chapter Four

                           A WARNING IN CAMP


The first day’s march was very hard on the soldiers, for the sun was hot
and the little fellows were not used to such long tramps. When the order
came for the army to break ranks and make camp ready for the night, the
soldiers worked with a will unloading the wagons and putting up the
tents. The kitchen tent was put up first so the Cook and the Chinaman
would lose no time in getting dinner ready for the hungry army.

The mice that pulled the army wagons were given a good feed of cheese
and they were quartered in a hollow tree for the night. The airplane ate
ten grains of bird seed and hopped onto the limb of the bush under which
the tiny camp lay.

[Illustration]

When the camp had been put in order for the night, mess call was sounded
and the soldiers formed in line with their tin plates. The Cook had
prepared two boiled beans and a thimbleful of corn soup for the army.
Each man was given a plate of soup, a big spoonful of bean and a large
piece of bread.

After dinner the little soldiers gathered on the bank of a puddle of
water, where they bathed their aching feet, while others took off their
uniforms and enjoyed a good swim. The foolish Dunce dived head first
into the pool without first testing the water to see how deep it was and
he nearly broke his silly neck, for the hole was only three Teenie
Weenie feet (a little over an inch and a half) deep.

“Believe me!” exclaimed the Dunce after he was pulled out of the water
and sat on the bank rubbing a big bump on his head, “I’m through diving.
I wouldn’t dive into a teacup full of water even if I could see the
bottom.”

The General decided to let the army rest for a day, as the soldiers all
complained of sore feet and, besides, one of the horses was bothered
with a lame leg, which had been hurt in a mouse trap a few days before.
The men were given a little light rifle practice, while Paddy Pinn tried
out the cannon at long range shooting, bringing down a dandelion in
three shots at the remarkable range of four hundred and twenty Teenie
Weenie feet (17 feet in our measurement).

The noise of the cannon attracted the attention of many birds,
squirrels, bugs and field mice, who gathered around the edge of the camp
with wide-open eyes.

“What’s the trouble?” asked a bright-eyed chipmunk. “Is there a war or
somethin’?”

“No,” answered the General kindly. “We are on our way to rescue a couple
of Teenie Weenies who have been stolen by the wild men who live in the
heart of the big woods.”

“Well, you’d better go back,” warned the Chipmunk. “Those wild men are a
bad lot and they are as thick as bees in clover time.”

“We are not afraid,” answered the General. “We will keep on until we
have rescued our friends.”

[Illustration]

“All right! All right!” said the Chipmunk solemnly. “I wouldn’t give a
wormy chestnut for your lives, but that’s your choosing, not mine. Let
me tell you one thing—don’t forget that I warned you.”

“Thank you just the same for your advice,” said the General, “but we
must go on.”

“All right!” muttered the Chipmunk. “But remember I warned you.” And
shaking his head wisely he scampered off into the thick weeds.

The little soldiers rolled themselves up in their tiny blankets almost
immediately after supper and almost before the sun had disappeared over
the western hills they were sound asleep, for they were to be up and
well on the march before daylight again would appear.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                              Chapter Five

                       THE QUEEN OF THE WILD MEN


Although the wild men who had captured the Lady of Fashion and the Poet
were good to them, the two Teenie Weenies nevertheless were much alarmed
as to what might happen, for the wild men kept their captives’ hands
securely tied, and they watched them closely at all times.

When the wild men brought the two Teenie Weenies to the island where the
savages lived, the captives were the center of much interest.

The Sabo men and women came swarming down to the water’s edge from all
directions. They shouted and jabbered in a language the Lady of Fashion
and the Poet had never before heard. Some came gliding out of the tall
grass, while others peered from behind bushes and pebbles, quite as
though they were a little afraid of the two helpless Teenie Weenies.

[Illustration]

The women were curious little people. They were dressed in short dresses
which came down to their knees and the cloth was woven out of
thistledown and was wonderfully soft. The women dressed their hair in a
strange manner. The Lady of Fashion could hardly keep from laughing at
them, for it was coiled up to a point high in the air, shaped much like
an ice cream cone. Most of the men were dressed in frogskin trousers,
while the children wore bits of cloth about their waists.

The men and women gathered around and carefully examined the clothes of
the two Teenie Weenies, especially the Poet’s glasses, which were
considered very wonderful by the wild little people.

After a time the Lady of Fashion and the Poet were led along a path
toward the center of the island, followed by a great crowd of Saboes.
Presently one of the wild men who was walking ahead suddenly dropped to
his knees and kissed the ground. Looking up, the two Teenie Weenies saw
a very big turtle with a very short, fat woman sitting on its back. A
man who walked beside the turtle with a hook in his hand, gave the
turtle a sharp blow on the nose and the big fellow pulled his head into
his shell and stopped.

“Well!” exclaimed the Lady of Fashion. “I wonder who this fine lady can
be.”

“Why, why, this must be a sort of queen,” answered the Poet. “Maybe she
is the queen of the wild men.”

The Poet had guessed correctly. The fat lady on the turtle was no other
than Her Royal Highness, Queen Mooie, ruler of the wild men.


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                              Chapter Six

                               THE STORM


Before the sun had time to peep over the eastern hills the third
morning, the little army was on the march. All day the soldiers tramped
along, stopping every now and then to rest a few minutes beneath the
shade of a friendly dandelion or burdock. All along the line of march
many bugs, ants and birds gathered by the roadside to cheer the brave
little army as it trudged by.

“General,” said the Turk, as he slid off the back of the airplane, “it
looks to me as though we were going to have a storm and I would suggest
that you lose no time in finding a dry place to house the army.”

“All right,” answered the General, “I’ll order the Indian to ride ahead
and select a place to camp.”

Even as the General spoke, the little soldiers heard the distant rumble
of thunder, and the Indian, putting spurs to his mouse, quickly bounded
away in search of a camp. Presently he returned with the good news that
he had found a fine place to weather the storm.

[Illustration]

A hollow log had been selected for the camp and the little men soon
pulled the cannon and army wagons into the dark hole. In a short time
the storm broke with great fury and it was a mighty good thing that the
little army was protected by the hollow log, for the burdock leaves
under which the Teenie Weenies always sought shelter from the rain would
have been a poor place in such a big storm. The poor mice who pulled the
army wagons trembled in terror at the loud peals of thunder. The Dunce
shook so much with fright he almost loosened the buttons of his uniform.

The storm passed quickly and the General ordered the army to be on its
way, but the marching was hard and the men made slow progress, for the
ground was muddy. The army marched around most of the mud holes, but one
was too long and they were forced to wade through the thick mud. Most of
the soldiers got over safely, but one of the wagons stuck in the mud and
to make things worse, one of the back wheels was broken in trying to
pull it out.

“This is a pretty pickle!” growled the Old Soldier, sliding off his
mouse at the edge of the puddle. “We’ll have to work fast to get this
wagon out before dark.”

“We might just as well unload the wagon, for we will never be able to
pull it out while it’s loaded,” said the General.

As the mud was quite deep, several of the soldiers were ordered to put
on bathing suits and carry the baggage to solid ground. After much hard
work the wagon was finally pulled out of the mud, although it took half
the army and six of the mice to do it. As it was quite late in the
afternoon, the army went into camp, while the Turk and the Old Soldier
set to work to mend the broken wheel.

[Illustration:

  THE TEENIE WEENIE CAPTIVES VIEW THE FIRE-DANCE OF THE
  WILD MEN.—_Chapter Nine._
]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                             Chapter Seven

                          A SUSPENSION BRIDGE


The General fumed and fussed over the delay caused by the broken wheel.

“It’s just one thing after another,” he grumbled. “If it isn’t one thing
it’s something else.”

“Well, General, it won’t do a bit of good to worry,” said Tess Bone, one
of the Red Cross Nurses. “We’ll have to do the best we can and that’s
all anybody can do—even a Teenie Weenie can’t do more.”

“Of course, of course,” answered the General, as he paced up and down
before his tiny tent. “I know it doesn’t do a bit of good to worry, but
we must hurry if we ever expect to rescue the Lady of Fashion and the
Poet.”

The anxious General had the army up before daylight the next morning.
They ate a hurried breakfast and were well on the way before the sun
came up. In fact, the Dunce marched nearly an hour before he was fully
awake.

The big rain of the day before had left many puddles along the way and
the little army often had to splash through them.

With the help of the scouts, the army was able to find the best roads,
for the Indian and the Cowboy, mounted on mice, rode ahead and picked
out the best path. The Turk was of much help, too, in picking out the
best roads, for he was able to see a great distance from the back of his
bird airplane.

“General,” said the Cowboy one afternoon as he rode up to the commander
of the little army, “I believe there’s more trouble ahead of us.”

“What!” shouted the General. “Great guns, now what’s the trouble?”

“Well, sir, there’s a stream of water and I’m afraid we’ll be forced to
march a long way out of our road before we can find a place shallow
enough to cross. I talked to a field mouse who seemed to be familiar
with the country, and he said there was no place where the stream could
be crossed for many miles in each direction.”

“I hope, sir, you were careful not to say where you were going,” said
the General. “We are now nearing the land of our enemies and we are
liable to meet with a spy at almost any time.”

“I was mighty careful, sir, and told him nothing that might be used
against us,” answered the Cowboy.

The General ordered the Turk to fly up and down the stream on a scouting
trip while the army stopped for lunch. Late in the afternoon the Turk
reported to the General that they would have to take a two days’ march
out of their road to a place where the stream could be crossed. The army
pushed on and shortly after dark stopped near the stream, where camp was
made for the night.

The next morning the Doctor, the Old Soldier, Paddy Pinn and the General
gathered on the banks of the raging stream to see what plan could be
made for crossing the water.

[Illustration]

The banks were very steep and the water was quite too swift to ford,
although the stream was only two feet wide (in our measurement). It was
finally determined that there was nothing to do but build a bridge.

“We can throw a sort of suspension bridge across the stream,” said the
Old Soldier, who was quite an engineer. “It will take us about a day and
a half to do the work, but we will save time, for it would take fully
two or three days to march to a place where we could cross without a
bridge.”

The war council thought the Old Soldier’s idea a good one and the
General ordered the men to start work at once. Pulleys and ropes were
brought out of the army wagons and some big logs for supports were cut
from a bush near by. Several cattails, which grew near the stream, were
sawed up into logs for the floor of the bridge. The bird airplane
carried the workmen and ropes to the other side of the stream, where
work was soon started on a bridge fifty-two Teenie Weenie feet long.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                             Chapter Eight

                        A BADLY FRIGHTENED ARMY


It took a lot of hard work to build the big bridge. Every single Teenie
Weenie worked with might and main. Even the mice who pulled the wagons
and cannon, helped the work along by dragging the heavy logs up to the
place where the bridge was being built.

The little army was a full day and a half building the bridge and when
the task was finished the wagons were loaded, the mice hitched to them,
and led by the General, the army marched safely across the bridge.

A big squirrel who lived in a tree near by was hired to watch the
bridge.

“We may want to get across this stream in a hurry,” the General told the
squirrel. “If the wild men should push us back to this stream, and the
bridge is destroyed, we certainly will be in a pretty pickle.”

“I’ll guard it with my life,” answered the squirrel, who had been
promised ten sunflower seeds and four hickory nuts for his work.

The army once more took up the march and presently they drew nearer and
nearer the forest. Great bushes overhung the path along which the
soldiers marched. Tall, bright-colored toadstools grew by the wayside
and everything was dark and mysterious.

At noon the army was halted for lunch. The little soldiers sat on the
soft moss under a big fern and each man ate the grain of boiled rice and
bit of dried raisin which he had tucked into his tiny haversack that
morning.

[Illustration]

When the men had eaten, the General ordered them to fall into line and
stepping in front of them he said: “Men, I have been informed by our
aviator and by our scouts that we are rapidly drawing near the land of
the wild men, so from now on straggling will not be permitted. Soldiers
wandering away from the army run the chance of being captured and we
will soon have need of all our brave men.”

The General’s talk impressed the little soldiers, and the Dunce and
Gogo, who often wandered away from the line of march, were very much “on
the job” all afternoon.

As the army marched beneath a bush, late in the day, it suddenly came
face to face with a small garter snake that lay near a big stone.

“O-O-O-O-O-oh, j-j-j-imminie C-c-c-c-christmas!” screamed the Dunce.

The mouse on which the General rode gave one frightened look at the
snake and quickly ran up the bush, dumping the dignified General off on
his Teenie Weenie head. The rest of the army fled in all directions, in
spite of the Old Soldier, who tried with all his might to stop the
frightened soldiers. The snake was almost as badly scared as the army
and it wriggled into a hole near by with remarkable speed.

“Well, this is a fine army, I must say!” growled the General when the
Old Soldier had finally got the soldiers back in line. “If you men run
at the sight of a little snake, what will you do when you face real wild
men?”

“Pardon me, sir,” said Gogo, saluting the General. “We-all don’t mind
fightin’ the wild men, but—we-all done object to bein’ et.”

“Forward, march!” shouted the General, and the little army moved on
towards the wild men’s land.


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                              Chapter Nine

                      THE CAPTIVES ATTEND A DANCE


While the Teenie Weenie soldiers were gallantly marching to the rescue
of their little friends, the Lady of Fashion and the Poet were being
kept prisoners in one of the funny little houses of the wild men.

Queen Mooie, ruler of the Saboes, was a very fat little lady, and like
all fat people, big or little, she was very good-natured. When the Lady
of Fashion and the Poet were brought before her, she was much interested
in them and she made a long speech to the two Teenie Weenies in her
strange language, but not one word could the little people understand.

The house in which the Lady of Fashion and the Poet were kept was built
up on posts about six Teenie Weenie feet (three inches in our
measurement) from the ground. The houses were built up high as
protection from the dampness, for the Saboes lived on a little island in
the heart of a big swamp, and it also protected the little people from
bugs. The floor of the house was made of sticks and the roof and sides
were covered with a peculiar swamp grass. A flat stone about the size of
a half dollar was placed on the floor, on which the wild men built a
tiny fire to keep themselves warm in winter, and a small hole in the
roof provided a chimney for the smoke.

Twice a day the wild men brought the two Teenie Weenies delicious pieces
of smoked frog ham, with many tiny rice cakes, and every other day the
two prisoners were given a blackberry.

One night shortly after the Lady of Fashion and the Poet had been
brought to the wild men’s village, the two Teenie Weenies heard the
beating of a drum. For what seemed hours the little prisoners listened
to the tumtum, tumtum, tumtum, of the drum. There was no use asking the
wild man who guarded them just outside their door, for he couldn’t
understand them, so there was nothing to do but listen to the tumtum,
tumtum, tumtum, and wonder what it was all about.

[Illustration]

Presently one of the wild men climbed up the ladder to their house and
motioned the two Teenie Weenies to follow him. He led them beneath a
bush near by, where a lot of wild men were dancing about a great fire.
The men sang a queer sort of song as they danced, while one
strange-looking fellow, who was a sort of witch doctor, rattled a huge
seed pod fastened to the end of a forked stick. The wild men performed
this strange dance once a month, as they believed it would keep bad luck
away from their tribe.

The Queen of the wild men sat near the fire on the back of her turtle,
while the rest of the Saboes stood in a circle about the dancing men.
The fire had been built in a deep hole on top of a large stone and when
the stone was almost red-hot, the wild men scraped the fire all out with
long sticks.

Then they lined the hole in the stone with sassafras leaves, into which
they threw four large frog hams and then covered them over with several
big leaves. Sand was then thrown onto the leaves, covering the hams
tightly in the hot hole.

The wild men built a fire all around the outside edge of the stone, and
while the hams cooked they again took up the wild dance. When the hams
were baked they were taken out and a piece was served to each person and
the Lady of Fashion and the Poet both enjoyed the delicious meat.

After everyone had eaten of the ham, the Queen ordered the two Teenie
Weenies to be taken back to their prison, but although it was very late,
the Lady of Fashion and the Poet could hear the loud shouts of the wild
little people for many hours.


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                              Chapter Ten

                        HELP FROM A GROUND ROBIN


The army was now in the very heart of the great forest and it took a lot
of hard work to get the heavy wagons and cannon through the jungle. At
times a path had to be chopped through the tall grass and all this had
to be done as silently as possible, for the army was now likely to run
across the wild men at any time.

“I don’t want these wild men to know that we are in the neighborhood,”
the General warned the troops. “It is much better to surprise them, and,
besides, there is no telling just what they may do to the Lady of
Fashion and the Poet if they discover that we have come to rescue them.”

The path the army now followed was so rough that little headway could be
made and the General had to order a halt every now and then to rest the
mice and men. During one of these stops the General fell into
conversation with a pert-looking little ground robin who had hopped onto
the limb of a bush near by.

“Do you know just where these wild men live?” asked the General.

“I’ll say I does,” answered the robin, who used very bad grammar. “I
knows more about ’em than I wants to. The nasty little scalawags! These
wild men get most all the seeds hereabouts and it’s all an honest bird
can do to scratch out a bare living.”

“Could you guide us for a few days?” put in the General.

[Illustration]

“Gracious!” tittered the bird, “you’d never reach the wild men’s place
in a few days with all those wagons and mice. They live on an island.
You’ll have to have a boat or somethin’ to carry you over the water.”

“I have heard that they live on an island,” said the General, “but I
mean could you show us the way to the water where we would be nearest to
the island?”

“Of course I could,” answered the bird; “that is, providin’ it would be
worth my time.”

“We will pay you,” said the General. “We’ll give you six sunflower seeds
for your work.”

“Make it six and a half seeds and I’ll do it,” cried the bird.

The General agreed and the bird hopped along ahead of the army, jumping
onto a bush occasionally to point out the best path. After a couple of
hours’ march, the army came out onto a sandy beach, where the General
called a halt.

“This is the place and over there is the island,” cried the bird,
nodding his head towards the water.

The Teenie Weenies looked across the water and they could see the dim
outlines of the island.

The ground robin was paid his six and a half sunflower seeds and in a
short time the tired little soldiers put up the tiny tents and made a
most cozy little camp. They named it camp Bitem, because of the many
mosquitoes about the place.

As the General did not wish a fire to be built for fear the wild men
might see the light, the little army made its dinner on two sliced
strawberries and a few grains of rice. No lights were lit that night in
the camp and a strong guard watched carefully throughout the silent
hours, which were disturbed only by the sentinels as they killed
mosquitoes with the butts of their rifles or stabbed them with their
bayonets.

Early the next morning the men set to work building a raft which was to
be used in carrying the army across the water to the wild men’s island.

A great many logs had to be cut, trimmed and brought to the water’s
edge. The Cowboy hitched one of the strongest mice to the heavy logs and
one by one they were hauled up to the workmen, who labored for nearly
three days before the raft was done.

[Illustration]

While the men were at work on the raft, the Turk flew over the wild
men’s island in search of a good place for the army to land and at the
same time he kept an eye open for the Lady of Fashion and the Poet. He
flew as near as he could to the wild men’s village without being seen,
but he could see no signs of the two Teenie Weenies.

“I think the wild men have the Lady of Fashion and the Poet locked up in
one of their houses,” the Turk told the General when he slid off the
bird’s back at the army camp. “I noticed one of the houses was closely
guarded and I think we shall find them there.”

“We’ll soon find out,” answered the General, “for the army will be on
the wild men’s island in a mighty short time.” Taking the Turk by the
arm, the General showed him where the raft was being built.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                             Chapter Eleven

                          THE POET LEARNS SABO


While the Lady of Fashion and the Poet were being held prisoner by the
Saboes, the Poet very carefully listened to the wild men’s strange
language and in a short time he was able to speak a few of their words.

“Jinks, but it is hot in this shanty!” he said to the Lady of Fashion
one morning as he wiped his forehead with his Teenie Weenie handkerchief
and looked out through the tiny hole that served as a window in the
house in which they were held prisoners.

“If the Queen would just let us go out and take a little exercise once
in a while it would help a lot,” suggested the Lady of Fashion fanning
herself with a dry leaf. “Why don’t you ask the Queen? Maybe she will
let us take a walk now and then.”

“I’ll do it,” answered the Poet, and looking out through the door he
called to one of the wild men who stood near guarding the house.

“Gip bah wah hoo,” said the Poet, which means in Sabo, “We need
exercise.” “Tell the Queen we want to get out of this shanty and take a
walk once in a while,” he continued in the wild men’s language.

[Illustration:

  THE WILD MEN ATTACK THE TEENIE WEENIES, AS THEIR RAFT
  NEARS THE ISLAND.—_Chapter Thirteen._
]

The wild man grunted a couple of times and hurried off through the long
grass towards the Queen’s house, while the two Teenie Weenies sat down
near the tiny door to await his return.

Presently the wild man came back and told the Poet that the Queen said
that the Teenie Weenies could take a walk whenever they liked.

“Well, we’ll take a walk right this minute,” announced the Poet, and he
quickly helped the Lady of Fashion down the tiny ladder.

The Teenie Weenies strolled along through the streets of the village
while the two guards walked a few feet behind them. A great many
children followed the Teenie Weenies about but, although the Lady of
Fashion tried to make friends with them, they were very timid and stood
off at a safe distance.

At one place two wild women were preparing dinner and the Teenie Weenies
were much interested in what they saw. One woman was baking rice cakes
on a flat stone under which a fire was burning, while a young girl was
grinding wild rice into flour by pounding the rice with a small rock in
a hollowed-out stone. Near the house was a hollowed-out log with leaves
spread over the top to keep out the dust, and one of the guards told the
Poet that the log was filled with salt water in which the frog hams were
pickled before they were smoked.

[Illustration]

The two Teenie Weenies spent a very pleasant afternoon looking about the
village and it was quite late before they returned to their prison.

“Oh, dear me,” said the Lady of Fashion as she threw herself down on one
of the soft grass mats, “I wonder what is going to happen to us. Do you
think the General will come with the army and rescue us?”

“Of course he will,” answered the Poet. “All we have to do is to be
patient and he’ll be here pretty soon.”

“But what if he doesn’t know that we have been captured by these wild
men?” asked the Lady of Fashion anxiously.

“He will know all right,” said the Poet. “The Teenie Weenies could see
the footprints of the wild men in the sand where we were captured. That
is enough to tell them what has happened to us.”

“Oh, dear, if they would only come!” And the poor little lady began to
sob.

“Here! Here!” said the Poet anxiously, for he always felt mighty
uncomfortable whenever the Lady of Fashion cried. “You must not cry.
That won’t do a bit of good—just makes you feel bad and me worse.”

“I-I-I c-c-can’t help it,” sobbed the little lady. “I want clean
clothes, my hair needs washing, I want some of the Cook’s good apple
butter, I want my toothbrush and I-I-I want to go home.”

The Poet tried his best to comfort her and presently she cried herself
to sleep.


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                             Chapter Twelve

                            GOGO’S BRAVE ACT


After much sawing, chopping and splitting of logs, the Teenie Weenies
finally finished building the raft which was to carry the little army to
the wild men’s island.

“We’ve got to give the raft a trial before we get all loaded up with
supplies,” said the Old Soldier when the work had been done. “I’ll take
it on the water this afternoon and give it a good try-out.”

“Quite right, quite right,” agreed the General as he sat down on a dry
fern leaf. “We’ll have to send the army over in two trips. First the
infantry can be taken over, then the raft can return for the artillery
and some supplies.”

“Will the raft carry the cannon and the two mice that pull it?” asked
the Doctor.

“Certainly,” said the Old Soldier. “It even ought to hold a good-sized
paving brick.”

“Well, you can just bet I won’t get on that old raft until it has been
thoroughly tried out,” announced Tess Bone as she arranged her dainty
little cap and patted the Red Cross badge on her arm.

“That’s the way I feel about it too,” added Sally Guff, the other nurse
with the army.

“You don’t need to worry about this raft,” laughed the Old Soldier.
“It’s well made and every log is securely tied with strong, number forty
thread.”

[Illustration]

Right after lunch the General ordered several of the soldiers to help
the Old Soldier take the raft out for a trial trip.

With the help of the big sweep on the stern of the raft and the use of
several long poles, the little men slowly pushed the craft out into the
stream.

“Jumping beans!” exclaimed the Old Soldier as the raft slid easily out
into the water. “That is what I call a good—” but the Old Soldier never
finished the sentence, for at that very moment a big frog poked his head
out of the water and hopped up onto the raft.

“Oooooo, a-a-a s-s-submarine!” gasped the Dunce. “Jump for your lives,”
and he leaped head first into the deep water.

Most of the Teenie Weenies gave one look at the ugly frog, followed the
Dunce into the water and swam as fast as they could for shore. The Old
Soldier and Gogo were the only men to hold their ground, and if it had
not been for these brave little fellows, the frog would have captured
the transport without a battle. The Old Soldier drew his sword and
attacked the frog, while Gogo struck the big fellow over the head with
the boat pole. The frog, who had been attracted by the red coats of the
soldiers, had hopped onto the raft in search of a meal, but he quickly
slid back into the water at the first blow of the boat pole.

The soldiers who had jumped into the water were much ashamed of their
behavior and they all quickly returned to the raft and finished the
trial trip they had started.

“My brave lad,” said the General, grasping Gogo by the hand when the
raft returned from its trip, “in behalf of the Teenie Weenie army I want
to thank you for your great bravery and I hereby promote you to first
sergeant in the Teenie Weenie army.”

“Oh, dat’s all right, General,” said Gogo, much confused at the honor
thrust upon him. “There’s no fool frog what’s done gonna scare me when
I’s mad, and I was certainly mad at that fool frog.”

The raft proved to be thoroughly seaworthy, so the General gave orders
for the men to be ready to board her just as soon as the wind and
current were favorable for the trip to the wild men’s island.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                            Chapter Thirteen

                               THE ATTACK


It was a long trip to the wild men’s island and the General wished to
make the journey under cover of darkness. “I want to land on the island
before daybreak so we can surprise the wild men,” the General told his
officers, who were gathered for a council of war.

“The Sailor tells me,” continued the General, “that the wind and current
are just right to sail the raft over to-night. I will take over the
infantry on the first trip and then the raft can return for the
artillery and the baggage and the rear guard, which the Old Soldier will
command.”

The Cook had a great pot of rice cooked and he had stewed five lima
beans. This great amount of food was portioned out, and three days’
rations were given to each soldier.

A number of picks and shovels, with a lot of bags and a chest of
bullets, was loaded onto the raft.

Promptly at eleven o’clock the General, followed by several men, marched
onto the raft and some of the soldiers with long poles quickly pushed
out into the dark stream.

[Illustration:

  THE TEENIE WEENIES PULL THE CAPTURED WILD MEN OUT OF
  THE BOTTLE.—_Chapter Sixteen._
]

The Sailor and the Cowboy handled the big sweep at the back of the raft,
while the Policeman and the Scotchman pushed wherever they could with
the long poles.

No lights were allowed on the raft and the men were ordered to talk only
in whispers, for the General wished to land on the island unknown to the
wild men.

“J-j-j-jimminie C-c-christmas!” stuttered the trembling Dunce, “I-I-I’m
not a-a bit s-s-scared. Are you, G-g-gogo?”

“Not v-v-very m-m-much,” answered the colored lad, trying to keep his
knees from knocking together. “I done hope we-all—”

[Illustration]

But at that minute, the raft struck something with such a bang it nearly
upset most of the little soldiers. In fact, the Scotchman would have
tumbled into the water if the Cowboy hadn’t caught him.

The raft had struck the limb of an old tree that lay in the water and to
the alarm of the General it stuck fast.

“This is terrible. Perfectly terrible,” groaned the General, glancing
towards the eastern sky. “It will soon be daylight and the wild men will
see us if we are delayed here.”

The men worked with might and main to free the raft, but it was stuck
tight to the snag and before they managed to get it free it was broad
daylight.

“The wild men have very likely seen us by this time,” said the General,
peering towards the island. “So instead of our surprising them, they
probably will surprise us, but we have got to land. Examine your rifles
and see that they are in condition to use, for we are likely to have a
fight.”

“Look there!” cried the Sailor, pointing towards the shore, for the raft
was now only a short distance from the island. “There’s something behind
that stick.”

“Maybe it’s a wild man,” suggested the Dunce, turning a trifle pale.
“Don’t you think we had better go back, General?”

“We intend to go on,” said the General, glancing scornfully at the
frightened Dunce, “but if you want to you can jump into the water and
swim back.”

“I-I-I think I’ll stay here,” said the Dunce as he thought of the many
frogs and turtles that might snap him up if he tried to swim back.

As the raft drew near the shore, several arrows whistled over the
soldiers’ heads and instantly a number of wild men sprang up from behind
a stick that lay on the shore and began shooting at the raft.

“Make ready, men!” shouted the General, drawing his sword. “Shoot over
the wild men’s heads when I give the word to fire. We don’t want to hurt
any of them if we can avoid it.”

“O-o-o-oh, I-I-I’m shot!” screamed the Dunce, as an arrow knocked his
hat from his head, but the rest of the little soldiers never heard the
foolish fellow, for they stood ready, awaiting the General’s order to
fire.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                            Chapter Fourteen

                        ON THE WILD MEN’S ISLAND


“Deliver this note at once to the Old Soldier,” said the General, as he
handed the following letter to the army aviator:

    Commander of the rear guard of the Teenie Weenie Army, Camp
    Bitem, on the Swamp Road:

    My dear Captain:

    We have had a battle with the enemy and our brave men have put
    them to rout.

    Our transport met with an accident and it was broad daylight
    before we landed on the island.

    The wild men attacked us as we neared the shore and sent a
    shower of arrows at us.

    I ordered my men to return the fire, and at the first crack of
    their rifles the wild men were greatly scared and ran off into
    the tall grass; I believe that it is the first time the wild men
    have ever heard a rifle shot.

    We have taken possession of a high bank where I have ordered the
    men to begin work on a trench.

    The raft is now on its way to your camp, and I want you to rush
    over the cannon and baggage as soon as possible, for I fully
    expect the wild men to attack us before long.

    I am sending this note by our brave aviator so you can have
    things ready to load on the raft when it arrives.

                        Respectfully yours,

                             THE GENERAL,

                       Commander in Chief of the Teenie Weenie Army.

    P. S.—I forgot to say that none of my men was hurt in the battle
    except the Dunce, who was badly scared by being shot through the
    hat.

“Yes, sir,” saluted the Turk, and springing onto the back of the
airplane he quickly flew out of sight over the water.

[Illustration]

When the Old Soldier received the General’s message, he set to work at
once breaking camp and when the raft arrived the artillery was quickly
loaded. The raft made two trips during the day and most of the necessary
baggage was taken over to the island.

A line of trenches was considered necessary by the General, who ordered
Sergeant Gogo to direct the work and that brave little chap had the
trenches done in a remarkably short time.

Nothing more was seen of the wild men, but the closest watch was kept,
for there was no telling when they might appear again.

The little soldiers were much too excited to sleep and most of them sat
about the tiny camp fire until a late hour talking of the day’s
experience, but one by one they finally rolled up in their tiny blankets
and slept, while the guards paced back and forth, ever watchful for
prowling wild men.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                            Chapter Fifteen

                            A COUNCIL OF WAR


For several days the army spent their time building trenches and making
a comfortable camp, while the army scouts learned all they could about
the wild men and the lie of the land.

The Red Cross tent had been set up and the tiny cots looked very pretty,
with their clean white sheets. Fortunately, there had been little use
for them, as the army had been unusually healthy, the only exception
being the Chinaman, who had been badly bitten by a pollywog, or tadpole,
while he was taking a swim in the river.

There had been very little excitement in camp for some time. Not a
single wild man had been seen since the morning the army had landed on
the raft and the soldiers had nothing much to do while off guard duty
but to kill mosquitoes, which were thick about the camp.

Early one morning the Turk was called to the General’s tent, where he
remained for some time.

“Somethin’ doin’, I’ll bet,” thought the Dunce, who was on guard duty at
the time in front of headquarters.

Something really was doing, for the Turk was ordered to fly out at once
and make a careful map of Sabo Island. The Turk hurried to his tent,
where he supplied himself with paper and pencils and a pair of tiny
field glasses. The army airplane was dining on a fat worm when the Turk
arrived, so he sat down and waited until the bird had eaten his
breakfast.

“We’ve got to go out and make a map of the wild men’s island,” said the
Turk.

“All right,” answered the bird, “I’m ready,” and hopping onto the ground
he squatted down while the Turk climbed up on his fat back.

[Illustration]

The Turk headed the bird to a big tree which grew on the river bank near
the island and in a few minutes the airplane settled easily on the
topmost branch. The great blue river lay far beneath the Turk and with
the help of his field glasses he was able to make a good map of the
island and the surrounding country.

When he returned to the Teenie Weenie camp the General immediately
called a council of war and the little aviator was asked to explain the
map in detail.

“Well,” began the Turk, “the circle marked Camp Bitem is the place where
we camped and built the raft and the dotted line is the course we took
to our present camp. The wild men have a sort of camp or fort, I
couldn’t just exactly make out what it was, but anyhow they are gathered
in some force on the only cleared ground between their village and our
camp.”

[Illustration:

  MAP OF WILD MEN’S ISLAND.
]

“We couldn’t march through the grass and trees and cut the wild men’s
camp off from the village, could we?” asked the Old Soldier.

“No, sir, I don’t think so,” answered the Turk, “for I do not believe
anyone could possibly get through the grass and trees.”

“Well, that’s too bad,” muttered the General. “I wanted to get those
wild men out of that place with as little trouble as possible, but it
looks as though we would have to take their fort by storm.”

All the Teenie Weenie officers gathered in the General’s tent listened
solemnly to their commander’s words, for they knew it would be mighty
serious if they were forced to charge the wild men’s fort.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                            Chapter Sixteen

                          WILD MEN BOTTLED UP


“I done got ’em bottled up! I done got ’em bottled up!” shouted Gogo,
the little colored Teenie Weenie, as he ran panting up to the General’s
tent.

“What’s bottled up? What’s all the excitement about?” asked the General,
popping his head through the opening of his tent.

“Why I-I-I done ketched one of the wild men and turned him ovah to the
guard and I done got three mo’ corked up in a bottle.”

“Great Guns! This is exciting. Tell me about it,” cried the General.

“Well, you see it’s dis way,” said Gogo, sitting down on a pebble and
mopping his head with his tiny handkerchief. “I done took a walk out
beyond the picket lines yonder. I knew I had no business wanderin’ out
dere, but I jus’ kept on and pretty soon I run across a big bottle
a-layin’ on its side.

“I was kind of ’spicious about dat bottle, fo’ I done see through de
glass where some dry grass had done been fixed up fo’ a bed, mighty like
some one been sleepin’ dere.

[Illustration]

“‘Gogo,’ I says to myself, ‘some one been sleepin’ heah in dis bottle
and it ain’t none of de Teenie Weenies, fo’ none of dem has been out
heah dis far.’ Den I made up my mind that it mus’ be some of dem
scalawag wild men and I reckon dey mus’ stayed in dis bottle when dey
was on guard duty watchin’ our army.

“‘But why did dey-all stay in dis heah bottle?’ I says to myself. ‘It’s
not cold nights.’ But jus’ den a big mosquito cam’ a-buzzin’ and
a-buzzin’ round and den I knew dat the wild men been a-stayin’ in dat
bottle fo’ to keep de mosquitoes from bitin’ ’em.

“I says to myself, ‘Some of dese wild men will be comin’ ’round heah
pretty soon and maybe I can done cotch ’em and extinguish myself.’”

“Distinguish yourself,” corrected the General.

“Yes, sah,” continued the little colored fellow. “Well, I done crawl
under a leaf and waited. I done wait fo’ a long time, but pretty soon I
done see fo’ of de wild men come sneakin’ along and pretty soon dey done
make right fo’ de bottle. Three of ’em done crawl in de bottle and one
of ’em done squat down outside by de openin’ of de bottle kinda like he
was guardin’.

“‘By de great corn pone,’ I says, ‘if a couple of de Teenie Weenies was
heah we could done cotch dese scalawags.’

“Pretty soon I thought to myself, ‘Why don’t you ketch ’em yourself?’ So
I done sneaked out up behind de wild man what was guardin’ de mouth of
de bottle and done cracked him on de head with de butt of my gun. I
didn’t hit very hard—just hard enough to stun him a little—and den I
grabbed a cork dat was layin’ near by and stuffed it into de bottle and
braced it with a stick of wood so the scalawags couldn’t get out. I then
picked up de wild man I had knocked down and brought him into camp and
dat’s all.”

“A very brave deed, sergeant,” said the General. “And I will immediately
send out a squad of men to bring your prisoners into camp.”

The Old Soldier was ordered to take a squad of men and go after the
prisoners, while the Doctor was sent to dress the bump on the head of
the wild man that Gogo had knocked down. After a great deal of work the
soldiers managed to pull the three wild men out of the bottle and when
they were brought into camp they were securely tied to a strong blade of
grass.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                           Chapter Seventeen

                         THE DUNCE IN DISGRACE


“Why are you making such a fine camp here, General?” asked the Doctor,
as he noticed that the Teenie Weenies continued to improve the camp.
“Won’t we have to move on pretty soon if the wild men do not attack?”

“We’ll stay right here for some time,” answered the General, taking off
his tiny sword and laying it on the table which stood in front of his
tent. “We are within striking distance of the wild men’s village, so the
aviator tells me, and we’ll use this camp for our base of operations.”

“General,” said the Cook, saluting the commander of the Teenie Weenie
army, “I beg your pardon, but there is something I must tell you.”

“What is it, sir?” said the General, returning the Cook’s salute.

“Why sir, there’s a thimble missing from among my cooking things. I put
two beans to soak in it last night and when I went to look at them a
little while ago the beans were lying on the ground and the thimble was
gone.”

“That’s most strange,” said the General; “I’ll have the Cowboy look into
the matter and see if he can find out what has happened to the thimble.”

“Thank you, sir,” said the Cook, “I’m a little short of cooking pans and
kettles and I’d like to have it back.”

The Cowboy was ordered to look for the lost thimble, but before he had
fairly started the search, the thimble turned up in a most peculiar way.
Down the main street of the camp towards the General’s tent marched the
Dunce with the lost thimble over his head and followed by a laughing
crowd of soldier.

“What’s the idea of this?” asked the General as the Dunce stopped before
him.

“Safety first,” answered the Dunce.

“What do you mean by safety first?” asked the General, trying hard to
keep from laughing at the ridiculous sight.

“W-w-well, you s-s-see,” began the Dunce, “I thought this thimble would
make a fine suit of armor, and protect me from the wild men’s arrows. I
took it out back of camp, got some tools and cut a couple of holes for
my arms to go through and another hole to see through—”

“Yes, and spoiled a perfectly good thimble,” put in the General.

“Jinks!” exclaimed the Dunce, “I never thought of that.”

“Of course you didn’t,” answered the General sternly. “You have a habit
of doing your thinking afterwards, and that is a mighty bad habit.”

“Quite right! Quite right!” cried a field mouse, who had been hanging
around the camp for a few days. “Quite right, I says. There’s always a
time to think. One ought to do a heap of thinking before one acts, I
says.”

[Illustration]

“Yes, you’re right,” put in the General, glaring at the mouse, who was
very talkative. “One ought to think a great deal and then he ought to
say only about one half of what he thinks.”

“Words of wisdom! Words of wisdom!” cried the mouse, never dreaming the
General’s rebuke was aimed at him, and he strolled down the camp street
quite pleased with himself.

“Now, Dunce,” said the General, “I’m going to try to see if I can help
you do a little thinking.”

“Y-y-yes, s-s-s-sir,” answered the Dunce.

“I’m going to make you wear that thimble for the rest of the day and
that ought to help you to remember that you have spoiled a perfectly
good cooking pot, just because you didn’t happen to think.”

All day long the poor Dunce was forced to walk up and down in front of
the General’s tent, wearing the heavy thimble. It was a warm day and the
thimble grew quite hot in the sunshine, so his punishment was pretty
hard, but there is no doubt it did him a great deal of good.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                            Chapter Eighteen

                         CONSULTING AN ENGINEER


The General studied the map of the wild men’s island which the Turk had
drawn, in the hope that he could figure out a way to attack the Saboes
without storming their fort. In storming the fort, the General felt sure
that many of his soldiers might be injured and he wished to rout the
enemy with as little damage as possible.

“I have it! I have it!” exclaimed the General one morning as he sat
studying the tiny map. “We can hire a mole to tunnel under the wild
men’s fort and then we can blow it up with a firecracker.”

“Bully!” shouted the Old Soldier. “And before they get over the surprise
of the explosion we can charge through the destroyed fort into the
village.”

“That’s the idea,” smiled the General. “We’ll go over to-morrow and
engage the old mole who lives down by the river.”

“Moles are great engineers,” said the Doctor, “and what they don’t know
about underground digging isn’t worth knowing.”

The next day the General and the Doctor, with an escort of four
soldiers, set out on the journey to the mole’s home.

“S-s-say, what is a m-m-mole anyhow?” asked the Dunce as the little
party marched along.

“A mole? Why, a mole—let’s see, a mole—why a mole is a mole,” answered
Gogo.

“I’ll tell you what a mole is like,” laughed the Doctor, who had
overheard the Dunce’s question. “A mole is an animal almost the size of
a rat and he lives under the ground. He has very small eyes and ears,
and he very seldom comes out in the day time, for it is pretty hard for
him to see in the bright sunlight. He has very short and powerful legs
with which he can dig very fast. He lives on worms and grubs and roots,
and he is usually very gruff and bad-tempered.”

Presently the little party came to the place where the mole lived and
the General ordered the soldiers to halt. They had stopped by the side
of a steep bank and near the top was a hole under the roots of a tree,
which was the front door of the mole’s home.

“Dress up in line, men!” commanded the General, “and when Mr. Mole comes
to the door of his house I want you all to present arms, for we will
have to use the greatest diplomacy in order to engage this fellow.”

The General stepped up near the bank and called loudly several times
into the hole and presently a long furry nose appeared in the opening.

“Well, what do you mean by awakening honest people out of a sound
sleep?” growled the mole. “What is it? What do you want?”

“I beg your pardon,” said the General as he lifted his hat and made a
low bow; “I’m awfully sorry I disturbed your rest, but having heard of
your reputation as an engineer I have come to beg your services for the
Teenie Weenie army. We want to engage you to dig a trench for us.”

“I’ll work for four fat white grubs a day and not a grub less,” snapped
the mole.

[Illustration]

“That’s quite satisfactory,” answered the General. “We are willing to
pay whatever you ask, but I want you to know just what the work will be.
We want you to dig a tunnel in the ground so we can explode a mine in
it.”

“I don’t care a snap of my tail what kind of work it is; all I want is
my pay,” growled the mole.

“When may we expect you?” asked the General.

“To-morrow at four o’clock, not a minute sooner or later,” answered the
mole.

“Shall we have breakfast for you?” asked the General.

“Why, certainly! Why, certainly!” exclaimed the mole. “How in the name
of angleworms do you expect me to work without food? What do you suppose
I’m workin’ for—pleasure?”

“We’ll have a couple of nice young grubs for you,” said the General
politely, although he was quite disturbed by the mole’s ungentlemanly
manner.

“Two grubs and a couple of angleworms would make me work better,”
suggested the mole.

“You shall have them,” answered the General stiffly. “Good day to you,
sir.” Lifting his hat politely, he ordered the soldiers to march back to
camp.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                            Chapter Nineteen

                     THE OLD SOLDIER’S WAR MACHINE


At exactly four o’clock the next morning the mole came into camp, and as
the General had promised, his breakfast was ready. After the mole had
eaten his grubs, he reported for work. The General showed the mole just
where he wanted the tunnel to run and immediately the old fellow set to
work. He burrowed his nose down into the soft ground and then pushed the
loosened earth back with his powerful fore claws. He worked wonderfully
fast and in less than a minute he had entirely disappeared into the
ground.

All day long the mole worked, coming out only for a few minutes at noon
to eat his lunch, and at half past five in the afternoon he again
appeared to announce that the tunnel had been finished.

The General sent the Sailor into the tunnel to measure it, for he wanted
to be quite sure that it reached a point just under the wild men’s fort.

“It’s just exactly eight hundred and fifty-eight feet long,” announced
the Sailor when he crawled out of the tunnel a few minutes later. “I
could hear the wild men walking on the ground above, so it must stop
right in the middle of the fort.”

“’Course it does,” snapped the mole. “Don’t you suppose I know how to
dig?”

When the mole had been paid for his work, he slipped off into the night
without ever even thanking the Teenie Weenies for his pay.

“Queer old surly fellow,” said the General as he watched the awkward
mole waddle off.

“Yes, but you have to admit that he is a wonderful engineer,” observed
the Old Soldier.

“Well, gentlemen,” said the General turning to his officers, “we have
got to move our lines forward. You see, we are about eight hundred and
fifty feet from the wild men’s fort and it is quite necessary that
trenches be built forward so we will not have too great a distance to
charge when we explode the mine under the enemy’s fort.”

The officers all agreed with the General and that very night several men
were sent out, when it was quite dark, to start the work.

The little soldiers had gone but a short distance when they were seen by
the wild men, who sent a shower of arrows at them, and Gogo was slightly
scratched on the arm, while one of the wild men’s arrows splintered the
Old Soldier’s wooden leg, so the General ordered the work stopped for
the time being.

The Old Soldier was quite an engineer and when he had whittled out a new
wooden leg, he set to work trying to scheme out some way by which the
men could dig the trenches without being hit by the wild men’s arrows.

“I have it,” he cried after he had puzzled over the matter for a time.
“We can make a big screen out of sticks, one that is quite arrow-proof.”

“How are you going to move it?” asked the Turk. “It will be too heavy
for the men to carry.”

[Illustration]

“That will be easy,” smiled the Old Soldier. “There’s a spool of thread
among our supplies and all we have to do is to remove the thread and—”

“Use the spool as a sort of wheel to roll the screen on,” put in the
Cook.

“Right,” laughed the Old Soldier. “We can push it ahead of us on the
spool and be quite safe from the wild men’s arrows.”

The General ordered the screen made and at once, under the watchful eye
of the Old Soldier, the men set to work building it. In a remarkably
short time the screen was finished and early the next morning the Old
Soldier, with six chosen men, started to push it toward the wild men’s
fort.

[Illustration]

As soon as the wild men saw the screen coming toward them, they let fly
a shower of arrows, but they either stuck fast in the screen or flew
harmlessly over the soldier’s heads.

“Great Guns!” cried the Old Soldier when the little party had pushed the
screen quite a ways toward the wild men’s fort. “We forgot to bring
along the picks and shovels.”

“I’ll get ’em, Captain,” said the Dunce, saluting the Old Soldier and
hardly waiting for the officer’s permission, the Dunce ran for the
trench which they had just left, as fast as his legs would carry him.

The Dunce grabbed up three picks and with the help of the Chinaman who
volunteered to go along, the two brave Teenie Weenies ran for the screen
amid the flying arrows which whizzed all about them.

All day long the men worked hard, pulling the screen along as they dug
back toward the Teenie Weenie trench, and at night, six other soldiers
took up the work where the rest left off. Several days of hard labor
finished the work and not one Teenie Weenie had been shot, thanks to the
Old Soldier’s screen.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                             Chapter Twenty

                     THE DUNCE LOOKS FOR EXCITEMENT


From the new trenches the Teenie Weenies could see the wild men’s fort
plainly. The little soldiers had to be very careful, however, for every
time they showed themselves the wild men would let fly a shower of
arrows. The soldiers thought it great fun to put their hats on sticks
and push them out in sight of the wild men. At first this brought a
tremendous number of arrows, but finally the wild men caught onto the
trick and only an occasional arrow would fly at the exposed hat.

The men took turns guarding the front trenches. It was very tiresome
work sitting in the narrow ditch waiting for something to happen and
most of the soldiers would have welcomed the order to storm the wild
men’s fort.

“I can’t see why the General doesn’t get busy and take the fort,”
growled the Scotchman one afternoon. Several of the men, who were off
duty, were lying in a mossy place under some big ferns, discussing the
matter. “We’ve got everything ready for the attack, the men are more
than anxious to go into action and we could lick the stuffin’ out of the
Saboes.”

“Keep cool, Scotty; we’ll get a chance soon enough,” said the Turk, who
was very quiet and always took things calmly. “The General knows what
he’s about and when he gets his plans ready, we’ll get all the
excitement we want.”

[Illustration]

“Excitement!” exclaimed the Dunce. “That’s me. I’ve got to have some
excitement; I’m sick and tired of sittin’ around here without anything
doin’.”

“Let’s get our guns and go out and see if we can’t shoot some dragon
flies or mosquitoes,” suggested the Sailor.

“Nah, that ain’t dangerous enough,” answered the Dunce. “I want to do
something that will give me a thrill,” and getting up he slowly walked
towards the tall grass near the Teenie Weenie camp.

The General had given orders that none of the soldiers should leave
camp, for the grass was so tangled and thick that it would be an easy
thing to get lost and, besides, the savage wild men might be hiding
behind the thick stalks of grass.

“Jinks!” thought the Dunce as he peered into the dense grass, “the
General wouldn’t scold me if I happened to stroll out there and capture
a wild man.”

After some minutes of thought, the Dunce hurried to his tent, got his
gun and sneaked unseen out of camp into the dark grass. He stumbled
along for some time without making much headway, for the stalks of grass
grew close together and the dead leaves tangled about his feet at almost
every step. Presently he came to an open spot near the edge of the
island, where he found walking much easier, but he had gone only a short
distance when he suddenly saw four wild men ahead of him.

“Throw up your hands—you’re surrounded!” shouted the Dunce, pointing his
gun towards them.

The wild men, not understanding the Teenie Weenie language, started
running towards the Dunce with loud yells.

The poor Dunce was so badly frightened he forgot to fire his gun and
turning about he ran as fast as his short legs could carry him towards
the Teenie Weenie camp.

The army aviator, who happened to be scouting above the shore of the
island, saw the Dunce being chased by the wild men.

“Quick!” he shouted to the bird on which he flew. “Fly just as close as
you can to the Dunce and I’ll grab him as we sail by.”

The bird flew straight for the ground and holding tight to its neck, the
aviator grabbed the Dunce by the collar and snatched him from the very
hands of the wild men.

The Turk pulled the frightened Dunce up on the bird’s back and a few
minutes later they landed safely in the Teenie Weenie camp.

“Well, sir,” said the General when he had heard the Turk’s story of the
rescue, “what were you doing outside the camp without permission to go
out?”

“I-I-I-I j-j-just wanted s-s-some excitement and I-I-I-I thought I’d go
out and s-s-see if I-I-I couldn’t capture a wild man,” stammered the
frightened Dunce.

“Well, did you capture any of them?” asked the General with a wink at
the Old Soldier.

“W-w-w-well, I-I surrounded f-f-four of ’em, but they wouldn’t stay
surrounded and they started to chase me, so I-I-I had to r-r-run.”

“Well, did you get any excitement?” smiled the General.

“Oh, yes, sir, I-I-I got more than I-I-I was looking for.”

“Well, sir,” said the General, “I hope you got enough excitement to last
you for a long time. You are guilty of an act of leaving camp without
permission and I find it necessary to place you under arrest.”

The poor Dunce was marched off between four soldiers to the tiny guard
house, where he was left to think over his disobedience.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------


[Illustration:

  THE ARMY AVIATOR SNATCHES THE DUNCE FROM THE HANDS OF
  THE WILD MEN.—_Chapter Twenty._
]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                           Chapter Twenty-One

                    THE SCOUTS HAVE A NARROW ESCAPE


“General, the men are getting restless. They want to get into action and
it seems to me that we ought to hurry our plans for the attack,” said
the Old Soldier. The two little officers were sitting at the tiny table
in front of the General’s tent.

“Yes, I believe you’re right,” answered the General thoughtfully. “The
plans for the attack are almost ready, but I would like to get some more
information about the wild men. I’d like to know just how many are
guarding the fort, what sort of arms they have and a lot of other
details. The Turk has been able to get much valuable information, but
the grass is so tall around the fort that he has not been able to get
very near in the airplane, so I’m afraid I’ll have to send the scouts
out for the facts I want.”

“That’s mighty dangerous,” said the Old Soldier, stroking his beard.
“The jungle is full of the Saboes—they are swarming all through the
grass, thicker than ants on a chocolate drop.”

“Yes, I know it’s dangerous, but I believe the Cowboy and the Indian can
get through unseen and bring back the information I want,” the General
said. “Either one of the little fellows is at home in the woods and
grass. They are both pastmasters in covering up their tracks. Why, I
believe the Indian could walk through a lady’s powder box without ever
leaving a single track,” and the General said it so earnestly there was
no doubt but that he spoke the truth.

Turning to the guard that stood near his tent, the General ordered him
to bring the Indian and the Cowboy. “Tell them it is important and that
I wish them to report at once.”

In a few minutes the two scouts appeared and, clicking their tiny heels
together, they saluted in the most approved military fashion.

“You sent for us, sir?” said the Cowboy.

“Yes,” answered the General, looking seriously at the sturdy little men.
“I have a piece of work for you to do. First I want to tell you that it
is mighty risky—in fact, it is extremely dangerous. I will not send you
unless you are willing to go—you shall choose.”

“We are ready to go,” answered the little scouts quietly, and their
loyalty touched the General greatly.

“I want you to go to the wild men’s fort and get all the information you
can,” said the General. “Find out how many men they have, what sort of
weapons they use, note the condition of their fort and get some idea of
the ground beyond the fort. Get all the facts you can and report to me
as soon as possible.”

“Yes, sir,” answered the scouts and, saluting, they hurried to their
tent, where they buckled on their tiny pistols. Next they each secured a
supply of dried minnow and half a boiled bean, which they stuffed into
their pockets.

They slipped quietly out of camp and after a long and tiresome trip they
finally drew near to the wild men’s fort. They could hear the voices of
the wild men now and then and the two Teenie Weenies were forced to
steal along with the greatest care. Presently they crawled up to a place
quite near the fort where they could see the wild men every now and then
through the long grass. The scouts watched the wild men for several
hours and it was quite late before the little fellows could find a
chance to crawl away safely and unseen.

Several times on their way back to the Teenie Weenie camp the scouts
were forced to hide under leaves and dry grass to keep from being
discovered, and once they had to lie for almost an hour in a hollow
stick, as several wild men stopped near them to rest.

“It be heap much dark soon,” grunted the Indian as he peered through the
grass at the sky.

“We can never get back to camp before night and we couldn’t possibly get
through this jungle in the dark, so we’ve got to find some place to
spend the night,” whispered the Cowboy.

The two Teenie Weenies found a deserted bird’s nest in a bush near by,
and, climbing up the bush, they soon made themselves comfortable for the
night.

[Illustration]

Early in the morning the little scouts were awakened by voices, and
looking over the edge of the nest, they saw several wild men coming
towards the bush. The wild men stopped beneath the bush, where they soon
made a fire and cooked pieces of frog ham for their breakfast.

The two Teenie Weenies had eaten what little food they had brought with
them the day before and as they smelled the delicious meat cooking it
made them as hungry as bears. There were too many of the Saboes for the
two scouts to fight, so they could do nothing but lie quiet until the
wild men had gone. In a short time the wild men finished their breakfast
and after talking in their strange language for a few minutes they
hurried away.

When the wild men had disappeared into the jungle of tall grass near by,
the two scouts carefully climbed out of the nest and set off in the
direction of the Teenie Weenie camp. Several times they had to hide
behind sticks and leaves when the wild men passed near them, and once,
three of the savage little fellows came so close to the spot where the
scouts lay hidden that they thought they would surely be discovered. It
was almost evening before the Cowboy and the Indian reached camp and the
little fellows reported at once to the General. They gave the Commander
of the Teenie Weenie army such valuable news that he at once called in
his staff for a council of war.

The little officers talked for a long time and when they finally came
out of the General’s tent, it was very plain to see that something was
about to happen. Officers dashed about the camp giving orders, the
Doctor and the two nurses busied themselves around the tiny hospital,
while Paddy Pinn spent much time with his Teenie Weenie cannon.

Three of the soldiers carried two big firecrackers into the tunnel the
mole had made. In fact, everyone was busy and the whole camp teemed with
excitement, wondering as to what was to happen next.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                           Chapter Twenty-Two

                               THE BATTLE


Orders had been given to attack the wild men in the morning and most of
the Teenie Weenie soldiers slept very little during the night. At
daylight a thimbleful of hot cocoa and a supply of bread was brought
into the front trenches and while the little soldiers ate, the artillery
kept up a heavy fire on the wild men’s fort.

At last the order was given to charge and the excited Teenie Weenies
climbed out of their trenches and dashed for the fort.

Although the soldiers’ tiny knees knocked together and their teeth
chattered with fright, they went into battle with great eagerness,
cheered by the voices of several meadow mice and bugs, who stood out of
range of the wild men’s arrows.

[Illustration]

It was a great victory. Probably the history of the battle can be better
told by one who took part in it, so we shall hear the story from a
letter written by Mr. Lover to his wife immediately after the battle.
The tiny letter was written on a piece of very thin birch bark, about
half the size of a postage stamp, but if you could see it under a
powerful microscope you would read it, word for word, just as it appears
on this page.

    My dear Bab:

    As the Indian is carrying the official news of the battle back
    to Shoehurst, you will know before you open this letter that we
    have won. It was wonderful and I will tell you all about it from
    the very first. The wild men’s fort, which was made of strong
    sticks, lay in a narrow path guarding the only open road to the
    village, where the Lady of Fashion and Poet are held prisoners.
    In order to get to the village we had to capture the fort. We
    heard the night before that we were to storm the fort in the
    morning and believe me, we didn’t sleep much; that is, I didn’t.
    I was as nervous as a cat in a dog house.

    Early in the morning the aviator flew over the fort and dropped
    pepper bombs. These bombs are made out of red pepper tied up in
    thin pieces of tissue paper and when they hit the ground they
    break and scatter the pepper all around. While the wild men were
    sneezing from the effects of the pepper, the artillery opened up
    and sent a lot of shot into the fort.

    Next, a big mine we had made under the fort was exploded. There
    were two big firecrackers in it and, say, you ought to have seen
    the sticks fly up in the air when that mine went off! Right
    after the mine explosion we were ordered to charge and we jumped
    out of the trenches and started on the run for the fort.

[Illustration:

  THE TEENIE WEENIE ARMY DRIVES THE WILD MEN FROM THEIR
  WRECKED FORT.—_Chapter Twenty-two._
]

    We were almost halfway there when the Sailor, who was carrying
    the flag, dropped with an arrow in his chest. The Dunce caught
    up the fallen flag and putting his hat on top of the staff, he
    yelled for us to follow. Everybody cheered, for we didn’t think
    the Dunce had enough nerve to do such a brave thing.

    The fort was badly wrecked by the explosion, so it wasn’t hard
    to climb over it to get at the wild men. Most of the Saboes were
    so scared they never tried to fight, but a few of them stood
    their ground. They were quickly subdued, however. We captured
    fourteen men; five of them are wounded, but the Doctor has them
    in the hospital and he’ll fix them up all right.

    Four of our men were wounded, but the Sailor is the only one who
    was badly hurt. The Doctor says that he will pull through all
    right.

    We wanted to attack the wild men’s village, but the General
    wouldn’t let us. He says we have got to take care of the wounded
    and make our lines safe before we can go farther. Some of the
    men seem to think that there will be very little fight left in
    the wild men, for they were pretty well scared by our attack.
    The Scotchman and I are doing guard duty; we have to guard the
    prisoners. We are using an old bottle for a prison and it
    certainly makes a good one; if we keep on getting prisoners
    we’ll soon have a bottleful.

    I do hope the General follows up the victory and goes right
    after these wild men, so we can end this war, for I want to get
    home to you and the children.

    Well, I’ll have to stop now as the Indian is about ready to
    start for Shoehurst. Tell the twins I have a nice string of
    blackberry seed beads for each of them and give them each a kiss
    for me.

                   Affectionately,

                        Your Husband.

    P. S.: The Cook and the Chinaman have just brought up a pot of
    cocoa and four hot beans! Hurrah! we’re going to have a feast.

                                                              Hubby.


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                          Chapter Twenty-Three

                             THE RED CROSS


There was much confusion after the battle, for so many things had to be
done, and done quickly. The lines had to be advanced and made safe
against attack by the wild men. The prisoners had to be carefully
guarded until they could be put into the grape juice bottle which was
being used as a prison.

Then, there were the wounded. Both Teenie Weenies and wild men had to be
given the best of care. Just as soon as the battle was over, the injured
were gathered up and carried tenderly to the Red Cross field hospital,
where the Doctor and his two little nurses dressed their wounds. The
Clown and the Policeman carried the wounded into the hospital on tiny
stretchers and just as soon as the injured little fellows had medical
care, they were put into clean beds. At first the injured wild men were
much frightened, but when they were handled so tenderly by the Doctor
and his lovely nurses, they became quite contented.

The Doctor’s official report to the General gives the best idea of the
work of the Red Cross after the battle, and it is printed here, word for
word, from that tiny document.


[Illustration]

                 TEENIE WEENIE RED CROSS FIELD HOSPITAL

    Commander in Chief,     Report No. 14.

          Teenie Weenie Army.

    Sir: I herein give to you a full detailed report of the Red
    Cross work after the battle of Sabo:

                        =Teenie Weenies Injured=

    Sailor—Shot in the right breast with arrow, which was removed
    after a hard operation, as the point had broken off between the
    third and fourth ribs. Eleven stitches taken in wound. Patient
    in bad shape but will recover.

    Dunce—Shot in hand; slight wound; will be all right in few days.

    Gogo—Two small wounds in right leg and left arm.

    Cowboy—Scratch on cheek from spear thrust.

[Illustration]

                           =Wild Men Injured=

    No. 1—Serious wound in neck from rifle bullet; removed bullet
    after much work; patient in bad shape.

    No. 2—Bad bayonet wound in side; will recover.

    No. 3—Piece of shell removed from back; nineteen stitches taken
    in wound; will get well.

    No. 4—Painful scalp wound from being hit on head with butt of
    gun; five stitches taken in wound.

    No. 5—Shot in shoulder; not dangerous.

    I wish to bring to your notice the good work of my staff. I
    commend them for their earnest and skillful help in taking care
    of the wounded. The work of bringing in the wounded was promptly
    done by the Policeman and the Clown in a manner that calls for
    the highest praise.

    Tess Bone and Sally Guff, my two excellent nurses, were of the
    greatest service. Their tenderness in handling the injured was
    of the highest order.

    I wish also to bring to your notice the kindness of Peter
    Meadowlark and Bouncing Ben, the jumping mouse. Peter Meadowlark
    did much towards keeping the patients in a good frame of mind by
    his daily songs. Every day he came to the hospital and sang for
    the wounded.

    Bouncing Ben kept the sick laughing for hours by his funny
    handsprings and somersaults. I owe much to these two
    kind-hearted fellows for the good condition of my patients.

              Sincerely yours,

                   Surgeon General,

                        Teenie Weenie Army.

[Illustration]


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                          Chapter Twenty-Four

                           LET THERE BE PEACE


After the battle the front lines were moved quite a distance towards the
center of the island, where the wild men’s village stood. A strong
breastwork of sticks and grass was built and a most careful watch was
kept at all times. Nothing was seen of the wild men except shadowy forms
that every now and then dodged about among the stalks of big grass. They
were surely in the tall grass, for the savage little fellows could slip
about in the jungle almost unseen.

It was quite certain that the General intended to move again in a short
time, for everything was made ready for another battle.

One morning the Scotchman, who was in the front lines, happened to see a
wild man crawling along on his stomach towards a stick that lay in front
of the Teenie Weenie breastwork. The tiny soldier raised his gun and
waited, thinking the wild men were about to charge, but instead a blade
of grass appeared above the stick and to it was tied a white rag.

“Jinks!” exclaimed the Scotchman, lowering his gun, “the wild men are
showing a flag of truce.”

“Hold your fire, men!” shouted the Cowboy, who was in charge of the
Teenie Weenie fort at the time. “They are sending out a flag of truce.”

Presently the wild man crawled out from behind the stick and timidly
made his way toward the Teenie Weenies.

“What do you want?” asked the Cowboy, peering over the top of the fort.

“Wap gee goo mah be gum,” answered the wild man as he approached the
Teenie Weenies. Of course none of them could understand a word of this.

[Illustration]

“Talk English, you goof,” cried the Cowboy. “I can’t understand that
kind of talk.”

The wild man carried a piece of folded birch bark in his hand and when
he reached the fort he handed it over to the Cowboy. It was addressed to
the General, and the Cowboy at once sent the note to him.

When the note was delivered to the General, he found that it was from
the Queen of the wild men, written by the Poet, and this is what he
read:

      Commander in Chief, Teenie Weenie Army. My dear General:

    Her Royal Highness, Mooie, Queen of the wild men, sends
    greetings. Her Highness wishes to talk over terms of peace with
    you and suggests that you and your staff meet her at the stream
    which crosses the path halfway between the Sabo village and your
    camp. Her Highness awaits your pleasure and asks Your Excellency
    to set a date for the meeting.

                   Respectfully yours

                        RUFUS RHYME.

    P. S.—Although the Lady of Fashion and I have been closely
    guarded since we have been prisoners, we have been very well
    treated and I ask that you take this into consideration when you
    arrange peace terms.

                   R. R.

The General answered the note at once, making arrangements to meet the
Queen on the following day.

The next day at the appointed time the General, the Old Soldier and a
guard of eight soldiers marched off to the meeting place, where they
found the Queen awaiting them.

The Queen sat on her favorite turtle and she had with her several of her
warriors and the Poet.

[Illustration]

As the Teenie Weenies drew near, the Queen and her followers raised
their left hands above their heads, which is the Sabo custom when
friends meet. The Queen was the first to speak, and the Poet, who had
learned the Sabo language while he was held prisoner, translated her
words to the Teenie Weenies as follows:

“O, great chief of the thunder wagon (the name, “Men of the Thunder
Wagon,” was given to the Teenie Weenies on account of the cannon which
the wild men said sounded like thunder), we have come here to ask for
peace. We do not wish to fight; we ask only for the liberty of our
brothers whom you hold prisoners. Give us back our brothers and we will
return the Lady of Fashion and the Poet to you. We will also give you
two hundred smoked frog hams for our brothers’ return.”

“O queen of beauty and ruler of all the Saboes,” said the General when
the Poet had finished, “we do not wish to fight, and we ask only for the
return of our friends. For their safe return we will free your brothers.
The hams you have offered we could not think of taking, for we took up
arms against you, not for gain, but only for the freedom of the Lady of
Fashion and the Poet.”

The Queen was greatly pleased at the General’s words and arrangements
were made for the exchange of the prisoners.

That same day all the wild men, except the ones who were in the hospital
and who were too sick to leave, were set free.

[Illustration:

  THE GENERAL AND THE QUEEN OF THE WILD MEN AT THE
  PEACE DANCE.—_Chapter Twenty-five._
]

They were taken, under guard of several soldiers, to the stream where
the General had met the Queen. The Lady of Fashion and the Poet were
waiting for them and the Teenie Weenie soldiers gave three mighty cheers
when they saw their friends. The prisoners were exchanged and the Lady
of Fashion and the Poet were taken to the Teenie Weenie camp, where they
were given a royal welcome.

The Lady of Fashion was so happy to be again among her friends that she
did a very ladylike thing—she cried. The nurses cried and several of the
men were seen to blow their tiny noses and blink their eyes.

“Oh, I’m so happy to be safe with you all again,” cried the Lady of
Fashion as she hugged the General for the tenth time. “I don’t know what
those nasty wild men captured us for, we never could find out, but I
will say for them that they were very good to us.”

“Well, we are mighty glad to have you with us again,” said the General.
“And it’s through the loyalty of every soldier in our army that your
rescue has been accomplished.”

“I know it. I know it,” cried the little lady, and she hugged every
single man in the army except the Chinaman, who was so embarrassed that
he ran off and hid in a hollow log for nearly an hour.

The two nurses took the Lady of Fashion to their tent, where she washed
until she was as clean as a drop of dew.

That night the army gathered around a roaring bonfire and eagerly
listened to the Poet while he told them how he and the Lady of Fashion
had spent their time as prisoners of the wild men. When he had finished,
the little people sang songs, told stories and gossiped until after
midnight, when the General ordered everyone to bed.

“It’s so nice to sleep in a clean, honest-to-goodness bed again,” said
the Lady of Fashion when she crawled into one of the tiny cots in the
nurses’ tent, but she didn’t sleep a great deal, for the three little
women had so much to talk about. They whispered and giggled until early
morning.

[Illustration]


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                          Chapter Twenty-Five

                            THE PEACE DANCE


“Well, folks,” announced the General the next morning as he sat down to
breakfast with several of his officers, the Lady of Fashion and the
Poet, “we must make ready for the march home. We have a long journey
ahead of us and we must get started as soon as possible.”

“I don’t see how we can,” answered the Doctor, who was helping himself
to a piece of frog ham. “The Sailor is in no condition to be moved and,
besides, I still have a couple of the wild men on my hands, who are in
such shape I can’t leave them for a few days.”

“That’s so! That’s so!” exclaimed the General. “Of course we’ll have to
stay until our duty is done.”

“My patients are all doing well and I don’t see why we won’t be able to
get away in five or six days,” said the Doctor.

The little soldiers were greatly disappointed when they heard that the
army would not start immediately for home, for now that the war was over
they were all anxious to return. However, they made the best of their
time by fishing, swimming and playing games.

One morning a sentinel came to the General’s tent, followed by one of
the wild men.

“This fellow has a message for you,” said the sentinel pointing to the
wild man, who held a piece of folded birch bark in his hand. “There are
about twenty-five more of ’em waiting out beyond our lines and they’ve
each got a big bundle all wrapped up in leaves.”

The General opened the note which the wild man handed him, but when he
found it was written in the Sabo language he sent for the Poet.

“You’ll have to translate this gibberish for me,” said the General when
the Poet appeared. “It’s too much for me.”

The Poet carefully read the note and then repeated it to the General.

“It’s from the Queen and she is sending you greetings and some
presents,” said the Poet. “She also invites you to the great Dance of
Peace and Plenty. This is the dance the wild men dance whenever they
make peace with their enemies. You must go to the dance, for that is the
way the wild men have of showing that they want to be friendly.”

“All right,” answered the General; “tell her I’ll come. Thank her for
the presents and give her my regards.”

A number of soldiers were sent out to bring in the presents the Queen
had sent and when they were unwrapped the little people were surprised
to find a number of fat frog hams, a quantity of wild rice, a large jar
of fruit paste made out of wild berries, many nut meats and sweet seeds.

“We ought to send a present to the Queen in return for all this food,”
said the General. “What shall we send her?”

“Send her that thimble the Dunce ruined trying to make a suit of armor,”
answered the Poet, who had heard the story of the Dunce’s armor.

“Not that old thimble!” exclaimed the General.

“Sure,” laughed the Poet. “She will think that it is wonderful!”

[Illustration]

So the thimble was sent to the Queen, who prized it more than anything
else she owned.

On the appointed day the General set off for the dance with a number of
the Teenie Weenies, and as they drew near the village they were met by a
body of wild men who had been sent out as a guard of honor to escort the
General into the village. He was led to a spot beneath a big bush where
the Queen sat cross-legged on a wonderfully soft piece of cloth which
had been thrown on the ground. Over her head hung another cloth which
was fastened at the four corners to long poles held in the hands of four
wild men.

A great many wild men and women stood about an open spot under the bush,
which had been swept until it was as clean as a pin. Many children ran
about the place, some of them climbing onto the grass houses and into
the trees. On the edge of the crowd stood several small animals, and
some birds were perched in the bush overhead.

The General made a low bow to the Queen and when she motioned for him to
sit by her side, he sat down on the soft cloth. The Queen and the
General talked for some time through the Poet, who translated for them.

Presently the Queen gave a command to one of her warriors and instantly
several men, who were sitting on the ground in front of the Queen, began
to beat on drums. The drums were made out of a piece of hollow reed. The
ends were covered with snake skin and they made a very pretty, mellow
sound. Another man beat on a piece of wood which had been fixed to a
split reed, while three or four women beat paddles together in time with
the music.

Instantly a number of voices broke into a loud song from behind a house
near by and presently the dancers came hopping and prancing into the
cleared spot before the Queen. First came a warrior with a long spear
and when he danced directly in front of the Queen he broke the spear in
two over his knee. Next came a man with a queer seed pod over his head
and in one hand he carried a whip with which he struck the warrior every
now and then. In the other hand he carried a dried seed pod which
rattled loudly in time with the song. The next dancer wore a frog’s head
and hopped in time with the music, much after the fashion of a frog.
Several girls followed the frog man, carrying plates of smoked frog ham
and rice cakes.

“The first man in the dance,” explained the Poet to the General, “is the
Spirit of War. He broke the spear to show you that the war was over and
the next man rattled the seed pod and struck him with the whip to scare
him away, which means that the wild men are through with war and wish to
get rid of the War Spirit. The frog man represents the frog meat which
the wild men eat, and his funny dance means that good times are coming,
for you see the pretty girls follow with plates of rice cakes and meat.”

The dancers performed for several minutes and then the man with the whip
and rattle chased the Spirit of War over the hill out of sight, which
meant that the Spirit of War was gone for good.

After the dance a great fire was built and when a heap of hot ashes had
burned, the wild men wrapped several frog hams in sassafras leaves and
put them into the hot bed of ashes to roast. When the hams were cooked
they were cut into slices and served to the Teenie Weenies and the wild
men. Wonderfully delicious rice cakes were also served and the Teenie
Weenies ate until they were quite filled. The greedy Dunce ate so much
he became quite ill and had to be carried back to the Teenie Weenie
camp, where the Doctor was kept busy most of the night putting heated
buttons on his aching tummy, until the pain was gone.

[Illustration]


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                           Chapter Twenty-Six

                                  HOME


                    Put a bean on to boil, Mr. Cook!
                    Put a bean on to boil, Mr. Cook!
                      For an army, it must eat
                      And rest its weary feet;
                    So put on a bean, Mr. Cook!

The Teenie Weenie soldiers sang this song as they sat about their tiny
camp fire one evening shortly after the peace dance. They were all
happy, for they were to start for home in the morning. The Sailor was
now well enough to stand the long trip and that was all that had been
holding them back.

“He can stand the trip,” the Doctor said, “if he is carried in some way
that will not jolt him. He was badly wounded and I wouldn’t care to have
him ride in one of the army wagons, as they are much too rough.”

“We can make a litter and get two mice to carry it,” suggested Tess
Bone.

“That’s a good idea,” said the Doctor. “He will rest that way in fine
shape.”

The Turk and the Old Soldier agreed to make the litter and in a short
time they had built such a cozy one the Sailor was quite pleased with
it.

“Crickety!” exclaimed the Dunce when he saw the litter, “I wish I was
wounded so I could ride in that instead of walkin’ all the way home.”

[Illustration]

The army wagons were loaded and early in the morning the little army
began the long journey home. First the cannon and then the baggage and
wagons had to be moved across the river on the raft. It took the little
people all day to move across the river, for many trips had to be made
with the clumsy raft. But at the end of the day not a single Teenie
Weenie was left on Sabo Island.

As Queen Mooie had given the Teenie Weenies so many presents of frog
hams, rice cakes, delicious seeds and many hickory nut meats, the little
people were well supplied with good food. Every evening after the day’s
march the happy little army ate their meal gathered around a glowing
camp fire. They laughed and joked, sang songs, told stories and gossiped
with the many birds and animals of the woods who gathered about the camp
fire.

Often the Teenie Weenies listened to a strange tale of the forest, told
by some owl or chipmunk, and quite often the birds sang to them.

One evening a wicked old weasel came prowling around the camp. The
little folks were quite alarmed about it, for the old fellow hung around
for a long time. They could see his wicked green eyes shining in the
light from the camp fire and when the General asked him what he wanted,
he never answered. At last the General told several of the soldiers to
fire off their rifles.

“Shoot in the air over his head and give him a good scare,” ordered the
General. “I think that will fix him.”

At the first sound of the guns the weasel quickly disappeared into the
night and nothing more was seen of him, although the men kept a mighty
close watch for several days.

When the army came to the place where they had built the bridge, they
found the squirrel whom they had hired to guard it, on duty.

“Well, here I am,” shouted the squirrel. “And here is the bridge just as
you left it.”

“You have done your duty well,” said the General, and he ordered the
Cook to pay the squirrel the ten sunflower seeds and the hickory nuts
which had been promised him.

“Well, I always believe in doin’ my duty,” said the squirrel. “If I
agree to do a thing I always stick to my word—I’d rather lose every
whisker I’ve got than go back on my word.”

A bluejay who was sitting in a bush near by snickered and the squirrel
gave him a nasty look. The Teenie Weenies thought for a minute that
there might be a quarrel, but the bluejay flew off, so they felt much
easier.

After a pleasant talk with the squirrel, the General ordered the army to
march on and as long as the Teenie Weenies were in sight the squirrel
waved to them from the top of an old stump.

The trip seemed to agree with the Sailor. He grew stronger and stronger
under the watchful eye of the Doctor and the two dainty nurses. He was
fed on broth and a tiny bit of poached bird’s egg each day, and as the
army drew near home he was almost strong enough to walk.

One day the Teenie Weenies were surprised to hear a bird shout to them
from a bush over their heads and when they looked up they saw it was
Tilly Titter, the English Sparrow—an old and trusted friend.

Of course the General ordered a halt, while the men gathered around the
sparrow and asked many questions.

“How are the twins?” asked Mr. Lover.

“Fine! Just fine!” cried the bird. “I was over to the village yesterday
and they were playin’ foot ball with a gooseberry. They are as husky as
a caterpillar in a mulberry bush. Your wife is as fat as butter; I’ll
bet she has gained half an ounce since you left her.”

After the Teenie Weenies had learned all the news from home the General
gave a message to Tilly and asked her to deliver it to the Teenie Weenie
village.

“You can just bet your last fish worm I’ll carry that message as quick
as I can,” said the bird. “Everyone in the village will be tickled to
death to hear that you are so near home. Grandpa will be so ’appy ’e’ll
shout ’imself ’oarse.”

Spreading her wings, Tilly Titter flew into the air and quickly
disappeared in the direction of the Teenie Weenie village.


------------------------------------------------------------------------




                          Chapter Twenty-seven

                            THE GRAND REVIEW


Tilly Titter flew as she never flew before and in a short time she
landed on the ground beside the shoe house, her feathers all ruffled up
with excitement.

“I’ve got news,” she shouted, as the little women gathered about her.
“I’ve just come from the General and the army will be home in about
three days.”

[Illustration]

“Is my husband well?” shouted Mrs. Lover.

“He’s as healthy as a dandelion and as pink as a rose bud,” answered
Tilly.

“How’s the Poet and the Lady of Fashion?” asked Grandpa.

“Well and ’appy,” cried Tilly. “As I was a sayin’, the army will be ’ome
in about three days. The General said to tell you that they would arrive
on Friday afternoon if everthing goes well. He says for you to have a
good supper ready for the boys and to have plenty, for they will be as
hungry as young robins.”

“Is the Sailor getting along nicely?” asked Miss Guff.

“Fine as a fiddle! Fine as a fiddle!” answered the sparrow. “Wants to
walk, ’e’s feelin’ so well, but the Doctor makes ’im stay in the litter
and ride.”

“Well, we have got to get busy and do somethin’ for the boys,” cried
Grandpa. “We’ve got to give ’em a big feed and decorate the place with
flags and show ’em we’re glad to see ’em.”

“We’ll get up a grand supper for them,” cried Mrs. Lover, “and we’ll
have a dance afterwards.”

“I’ll bring over a big chunk of cheese,” cried the mouse that had joined
the crowd.

“I’ll get some fat worms for the supper,” cried Tilly, and instantly she
blushed a deep brown. “Oh, I forget you don’t eat worms. Well, I’ll get
some sunflower seeds.”

“I’ll donate a few nuts,” said Nick, the squirrel, who had been hoping
for a chance to speak.

“Oh, I forgot to say that the General said ’e would come in ahead of the
army so ’e could review them as they marched into the village,” cried
Tilly.

“He’s going to review the troops, did you say?” asked Grandpa, who was
hard of hearing.

“Yes!” shouted Tilly, right into the old gentleman’s ear. “The General
is goin’ to review the army.”

“Well, we got to get a reviewing stand ready for him,” cried Grandpa.

“I’ll help,” shouted the mouse, “and I’ll get some mice to help, too.”

“All right, get ’em!” cried Grandpa. “The sooner we get to work the
better it will be.”

In a short time the Teenie Weenies were as busy as bees in a clover
field. The little women set to work cooking and baking. They made cakes
and cookies by the thimble full. They made ginger cookies, nut cookies,
chocolate cake, fruit cake and half an English walnut full of doughnuts,
besides all sorts of other good things.

Grandpa put eight mice, a chipmunk and half a dozen bugs to work getting
the place ready for the returning soldiers. They cleaned up the rubbish
under the rose-bush, they moved all the desks out of the schoolhouse,
where the dinner and dance were to be held, and they made a reviewing
stand out of the top of a candy box.

Nick, the squirrel, worked hard opening nuts. He gnawed so many his
teeth became sore, but he never complained, for he was a very patriotic
squirrel and most fond of the Teenie Weenies.

[Illustration]

The little folks decorated the village with Teenie Weenie flags and
bunting and when the time arrived for the army to march home the village
was crowded with all sorts of visitors. Bugs, mice, squirrels, birds,
chipmunks, and even a few chickens and ducks, crowded under the
rose-bush.

The General rode in ahead of the army and took his place on the
reviewing stand amid the wildest shouting and waving of flags, but when
the troops came marching into view there was such a squealing of
squirrels and mice and squawking of chickens, ducks and birds, one could
hardly hear oneself think. Grandpa shouted so hard that he had one of
his choking fits, and a mouse had to pound him on the back until he
could get his breath.

When the review was over there was much hugging and kissing and some
crying, for most of the little women shed a few tears of happiness, but
that’s a strange way women folks have of showing they are happy. One old
hen cried so hard she had to be led away. A duck insisted on kissing the
Dunce and a mouse hugged Paddy Pinn so hard it nearly broke his arm.

After the little soldiers had visited for a time they were called into
the old derby hat for supper and such a supper as they had! There was
roasted bird’s egg, frog ham, escalloped hickory nut, walnut au gratin,
creamed hearts of sunflower seed, water cress and wild cherry salad, and
cakes and cookies and sliced grape and ice cream.

When the little soldiers had eaten until they could not hold another
morsel, the General arose from his seat at the head of the big table and
made a speech.

“Friends and men of the Teenie Weenie army,” he began, “I want to thank
you for your loyal and hearty service. You have gone through hardships
and you have risked your lives in battle without complaint. You have
done this to aid those in trouble and nothing greater can be said of
your deeds than that they were done willingly. Men, I am proud to have
been your leader.”

“Three cheers for the army!” shouted a mouse who had been helping to
wait on table, and the cheers were given with a will.

Next the Lady of Fashion made a little speech. She very prettily thanked
the General and the army for having rescued the Poet and herself from
the wild men and as she sat down there were tears in her pretty eyes.
The Poet spoke and Grandpa made a speech about the great war in
forty-two, but few heard what the old gentleman said, for they were
anxious to talk to one another about the great events of the rescue of
their friends.

“Friends!” shouted Paddy Pinn, when Grandpa had sat down, “I think the
Dunce ought to explain to the rest of us just why that old duck was so
anxious to kiss him.” Every one yelled so loudly for the Dunce that he
was forced to stand up, but he was so embarrassed he couldn’t speak a
word and the Teenie Weenies laughed so hard they cried.

When the tables had been cleared away the orchestra started playing and
in a few minutes the little folks were swinging around to the music of
“The Lady of Fashion Waltz.” They danced until nearly morning—in fact it
was broad daylight when the tired little soldiers crawled into their
tiny beds, every one of them mighty thankful that they were safely home
again.

              “The war is over, our duty is done;
               Hang up the pistol, the sword and the gun.”

               Rufus Rhyme,

                    _Teenie Weenie Poet_.

[Illustration]

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 ● Transcriber’s Notes:
    ○ Missing or obscured punctuation was silently corrected.
    ○ Typographical errors were silently corrected.
    ○ Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only
      when a predominant form was found in this book.
    ○ Text that was in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_);
      text that was bold by “equal” signs (=bold=).







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William Donahey

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