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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #60469 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60469)
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-Project Gutenberg's The Hundred and Other Stories, by Gertrude Hall Brownell
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll
-have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using
-this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: The Hundred and Other Stories
-
-Author: Gertrude Hall Brownell
-
-Release Date: October 11, 2019 [EBook #60469]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HUNDRED AND OTHER STORIES ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Carlos Colon, the University of California and
-the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
-http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
-generously made available by The Internet Archive/American
-Libraries.)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-/$
- [Illustration:
-
- Page 140
- "SHE LOOKED AT HIM A LONG MOMENT WITH FIXED EYES"]
-$/
-
-
-
-
-/$
- The Hundred
- and Other Stories
-
-
- _By GERTRUDE HALL_
-
-
- WITH ILLUSTRATIONS
-
-
- [Illustration]
-
-
- NEW YORK AND LONDON
- HARPER & BROTHERS PUBLISHERS
- 1898
-$/
-
-
-
-
-/$
- Copyright, 1898, by HARPER & BROTHERS.
-
- _All rights reserved._
-$/
-
-
-
-
-/$
- TO
-
- MY MOTHER
-$/
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-
-
-/$
- PAGE
-
- THE HUNDRED 1
-
- THE PASSING OF SPRING 59
-
- PAULA IN ITALY 104
-
- DORASTUS 142
-
- CHLOE, CHLORIS, AND CYTHEREA 204
-$/
-
-
-
-
-ILLUSTRATIONS
-
-
-/$
- "SHE LOOKED AT HIM A LONG MOMENT
- WITH FIXED EYES" _Frontispiece_
-
- "SHE LET BONNET HAVE ONE OF HER
- ARMS" _Facing page_ 6
-
- "AT LAST THEY WERE GONE" " 10
-
- "PAULA HERSELF SAT BY THE WINDOW" " 130
-$/
-
-
-
-
-/$
- THE HUNDRED
- AND OTHER STORIES
-$/
-
-
-
-
-THE HUNDRED
-
-
-Mrs. Darling was dining from home, and every heart in her little
-establishment rejoiced over the circumstance, for it meant less work
-for everybody, with an opportunity to enjoy Christmas Eve on his own
-account.
-
-Mrs. Bonnet, the lady's-maid, with the plans she had in mind for the
-evening, was scarcely annoyed at all when her mistress scolded because
-the corset-lace had got itself in a knot.
-
-The chamber was full of a delicate odor of iris. The gas-globes at the
-ends of their jointed gold arms looked like splendid yellow pearls; on
-the dressing-table under them glittered a quantity of highly embossed
-silverware, out of all reasonable proportion with the little person
-owning it, who sat before the mirror beautifying her finger-nails
-while Mrs. Bonnet did her hair.
-
-"Mind what you are about," the mistress murmured, diligently polishing.
-
-Mrs. Bonnet instantly removed the hot tongs from the tress she was
-twisting, and caught it again with greater precaution.
-
-"Mind what you are about," warned Mrs. Darling, somewhat louder, a
-beginning of acid in her voice.
-
-Mrs. Bonnet again disengaged the hair from the tongs, and after a
-little pause, during which to make firm her nerve, with infinite
-solicitude took hold again of the golden strand, and would have waved
-it, but--
-
-"Mind what you are about!" almost screamed little Mrs. Darling. "Didn't
-I _tell_ you to be careful? You have been pulling right along at the
-same hair! _Do_ consider that it is a human scalp, and not a _wig_ you
-are dealing with! Bonny, you are not a bad woman, but you will wear me
-out. Come, go on with it; it is getting late."
-
-Before the hair-dressing was accomplished Mrs. Darling rolled up her
-eyes--her blue eyes, round and angelic as they could sometimes be--at
-the reflection of Mrs. Bonnet's face in the mirror, and said, meekly:
-"Bonny, do you think that black moiré of mine would make over nicely
-for you? I am going to give it to you. No, don't thank me--it makes me
-look old. Now my slippers."
-
-While Bonnet was forcing the shoe on her fat little foot, Mrs.
-Darling's glance rested, perhaps by chance, on a photograph that leaned
-against the clock over the mantelpiece. It was that of a still young,
-well-looking man, whose face wore an unmistakable look of goodness, of
-the kind that made it what one expected to read under it in print--the
-Rev. Dorel Goodhue. There was another more conspicuous man-photograph
-in the room, on the dressing-table, in a massive frame that matched the
-toilet accessories. It stood there always, airing a photographic smile
-among the brushes and hand-glasses and pin-boxes.
-
-"I suppose," said Mrs. Darling, while she braced herself against Bonnet
-to help get the small shoe on--"I suppose I have a very bad temper!"
-and she laughed in such a sensible, natural, good-natured way any
-one must have felt that her exhibition of a moment before had been a
-sort of joke. "Tell the truth, Bonny: if every mistress had to have a
-certificate from her maid, you would give me a pretty bad one, wouldn't
-you? But I was abominably brought up. I used to slap my governesses.
-And I have had all sorts of illnesses; trouble, too. And I mostly
-don't mean anything by it. It is just nerves. Poor Bonny! I treat you
-shamefully, don't I?"
-
-"Oh, ma'am," said the lady's-maid, expanding in the light of this
-uncommon familiarity, "I would give you a character as would make it
-no difficulty in you getting a first-class situation right away; you
-may depend upon it, ma'am, I would. Don't this shoe seem a bit tight,
-ma'am?"
-
-"Not at all. It is a whole size larger than I wear. If you would just
-be so good as to hold the shoe-horn properly. There, that is it."
-
-She stood before the bed, on which were spread two long evening
-dresses. A little King Charles spaniel had made himself comfortable
-in the softest of one. His mistress pounced on him with a cry, first
-cuffed, then kissed and put him down. "Which shall I wear?" she asked.
-
-Bonnet drew back for a critical view, but dared not suggest unprompted.
-
-"The black and white is more becoming, but the violet crape is
-prettier. Oh, Bonny, decide quickly for me, like a tossed-up penny!"
-
-"Well, I think now I should say the violet, ma'am."
-
-"Should you?" Mrs. Darling mused, with a finger against her lip. "But
-I look less well in it. Surely I had rather look pretty myself than
-have my dress look pretty, hadn't I? Give me the black and white, and
-hurry. Mr. Goodhue will be here in a second. Bonnet!" she burst forth,
-in quite another tone. "You trying creature! Didn't I _tell_ you to put
-a draw-string through that lace? Didn't I _tell_ you? _Where_ are your
-ears? _Where_ are your senses? What on _earth_ do you spend your time
-thinking about, I should like to know, anyway? I wouldn't wear that
-thing as it _is_, not for--not for--Oh, I am tired of living surrounded
-by fools! Take it away--take it away! Bring the violet!"
-
-At last she was encased in the fluffy violet crape, and at sight of the
-sweet picture she made in the mirror her brow cleared a little; she
-looked baby-eyed and angelic again, with her wavy hair meekly parted in
-the middle. While she looked at herself she let Bonnet have one of her
-arms to button the long glove.
-
-"Ouch! Go softly; you pinch!" she murmured.
-
-Bonnet changed her method with the silver hook, adjusted it anew, and
-pulled at it ever so softly.
-
-"Ouch! You pinch me!" said Mrs. Darling, a little louder.
-
-Bonnet stopped short, and looked helplessly at the glove, that could
-not be made to meet without strain over the plump white wrist. After
-a breathing-while, with stealthy gentleness, again she fitted the
-silver loop over the button, and, with a devout inward appeal to
-Heaven, tried to induce it through the button-hole. She had almost
-succeeded when Mrs. Darling screamed, "Ouch, ouch, ouch! You pinch like
-_anything_! I am black and blue!" And tearing her arm from the quaking
-servant, began fidgeting with the button herself, soon pulling it off.
-
-[Illustration: "SHE LET BONNET HAVE ONE OF HER ARMS"]
-
-"Bonnet, how many times must I tell you to sew the buttons fast on my
-gloves before you give them me to put on?" she asked, severely. "No,
-they were not!" she stormed, and peeled off the glove, throwing it far
-from her, inside out.
-
-There was a knock, and a respectful voice saying, outside the door,
-"Mr. Goodhue is below, ma'am."
-
-"Get a needle," Mrs. Darling said, humbly, like a child reminded of its
-promise to behave, and waited patiently while the button was sewed on,
-and held out her arm again, letting Bonnet pinch without a murmur.
-
-A final bunch of violets was tucked in the bosom of her gown, and she
-was leaving the bedroom, when, as if at a sudden thought, she turned
-back, went to the door of a little room leading from it, and stood
-looking in.
-
-"Aren't they lovely, the hundred of them?" she gushed. "Did you ever
-see such a sight? One prettier than the other! I almost wish I were one
-of the little girls myself!"
-
-"Them that gets them will be made happy, sure, ma'am. I suppose it's
-for some Christmas-tree?"
-
-"They are for my cousin Dorel's orphans. Pick up, Bonny. Open the
-windows. Mind you keep Jetty with you. Don't let him go into the
-kitchen. I am sure they feed him. I shall not be very late--not later
-than twelve."
-
-Mrs. Darling went down the stairs, followed by Bonnet with her mantle
-and fan, and Jetty, who leaped and yapped in the delusion that he was
-going to be taken for a walk.
-
-The gentleman waiting below came forward to take Mrs. Darling's hand.
-
-Mrs. Bonnet listened to the exchange of polite expressions between
-them with no small degree of impatience; it seemed to her they might
-just as well have made these communications later, in the carriage.
-
-At last and at last they were gone. With the clap of the door behind
-them the whole atmosphere of the house changed as by enchantment. A
-door slammed somewhere; a voice burst out singing below-stairs; the
-man in livery who had held the door for Mrs. Darling and her reverend
-cousin leaned over the banisters and shouted, heartily, "Catherine!
-I say, Catherine!" Mrs. Bonnet fairly scampered up-stairs, with the
-mistaken Jetty, who thought this was the beginning of a romp, hard
-after her, trying to catch her by the heels.
-
-She entered Mrs. Darling's room with no affectation of soft-stepping,
-threw up the window--the sharp outer air cut into the scented warmth
-like a silver axe--and began pushing things briskly into their places.
-She digressed from her labors a moment to get from the closet a black
-moiré, which she examined, then replaced.
-
-Now came a rap at the door, and a voice only a shade less respectful
-than before, saying, "Miss Pittock is waiting below, ma'am."
-
-"Very well, I will be down directly," said Mrs. Bonnet. "Come here,
-Jetty!"
-
-Jetty, instead of coming, ran round and round among the chair legs,
-waving his tail in a graceful circle, eluding Mrs. Bonnet's hand not by
-swiftness, but craft.
-
-"Come here, you little fool," muttered Bonnet; and as her bidding,
-however severe, availed nothing, she cast Mrs. Darling's wrapper over
-the little beast, and got him entangled like a black-and-tan butterfly
-in a pocket-handkerchief. She snatched him up squirming a little,
-tucked him tightly under her arm, and ran up-stairs to her own chamber
-on the third floor. There she dropped him; and when she had donned her
-black coat and bonnet, gloves and galoshes, during which preparations
-Jetty was leaping and yapping like crazy, in the supposition again that
-they were going for a walk together, she turned out the light and shut
-the door against his wet, black nose. His reproachful barks followed
-her down the passage. "It's good for 'is lungs," she said, grimly,
-hurrying over the stairs.
-
-[Illustration: "AT LAST THEY WERE GONE"]
-
-And here at the foot was Miss Pittock, looking quite more than the lady
-in her mistress's last year's cape.
-
-"I hope I haven't kept you waiting, Miss Pittock."
-
-"Quite the contrary; don't mention it, Mrs. Bonnet. Oh, the shops is a
-sight to behold, Mrs. Bonnet! I never seen anything like this year. It
-do seem as if people made more to-do than they used about Christmas,
-don't it? Are we ready, Mrs. Bonnet?"
-
-"I am if you are, Miss Pittock."
-
-"Now, what kind of shops do you fancy most, so we'll go and look into
-their show-windows first?"
-
-"I'm sure I don't know. What do you prefer yourself, Miss Pittock?
-We've time to see most everything of any account, anyhow. She's not
-coming home before twelve."
-
-"No more is mine. Suppose we go first to the Grand Bazar. They've
-always got the most amazing show there. That you, Mr. Jackson? A merry
-Christmas to you, Mr. Jackson, and a happy New Year!"
-
-For just as they reached the door they found the butler letting himself
-out too. He did not sleep in the house, and was taking the opportunity
-to-night to leave early. For a second he could not return Miss
-Pittock's salutation, his mouth being crowded with a last bite snatched
-in haste. When he had swallowed, he grinned and excused his hurry,
-holding the door for the ladies.
-
-"Sorry I ain't going your way, ladies," he said, amiably, and the door
-closed behind the three.
-
-In the kitchen the cook, with a face like a pleasant copper saucepan,
-rosy and shining and round, was moving about leisurely, giving this and
-that a final unhurried wipe. She wore a face of contentment; it was her
-legitimate night out; with a good conscience presently she was going up
-to make a change, and off to her family.
-
-A young woman in a light gingham and frilled cap sat watching her
-sulkily, her hands idle on her embroidered muslin apron. A girl of
-perhaps eighteen, capless, in a dark calico that made not the first
-pretension to elegance, was washing her face at one of the shiny copper
-faucets. She vanished a moment, and came back with her damp hair
-streaked all over by the comb. The cook was gone.
-
-"You going, too, I suppose?" said the sullen parlor-maid.
-
-"Why, yes. 'Ain't I done everything? There's no need of my staying, is
-there?" The kitchen-maid went home for the night, too.
-
-"No, I don't suppose there is. I just thought you might happen to be,
-that's all."
-
-The kitchen-maid sat down a minute, in a tired, ungirt position, and
-looked over at the parlor-maid with good-natured young eyes grown a
-trifle speculative. The latter let her glance wander over the day's
-newspaper, brought down-stairs until inquired for.
-
-"Tell you what I'd like to do!" exclaimed the kitchen-maid.
-
-"What'd you like to do, Sally?"
-
-"That's to come back again after I've been home for just a minute."
-
-The parlor-maid looked up, unable altogether to conceal her interest.
-The house was very quiet. Through the clock-ticks, at perfectly regular
-intervals, came the muffled sound of Jetty's disconsolate yaps. Neither
-of the girls appeared to hear them.
-
-"You don't mean just to oblige, do you, Sally?"
-
-"Well, I'd do it in a minute for nothing else beside, but that ain't
-quite all I was thinking of just this once. Miss Catherine"--she
-hesitated, then, enthusiastically--"have you seen 'em up-stairs? the
-whole hundred of 'em laid out off Mrs. Darling's bedroom? I saw 'em
-when Mrs. Bonnet she sent me up for the lamps to clean. Law! Wouldn't
-any child like to see a sight like that! There's a little girl in my
-tenement, she'd just go crazy. Do you think there'd be any harm in it
-if I was to bring her over and let her get one peep? She's as clean a
-child as ever you saw. She comes of dreadful poor folks, but just as
-respectable! She never seen anything like it in her life. Law, what
-would I have done when I was a young one if I'd seen that? I'd thought
-I was dead and gone to heaven. I say, Miss Catherine, d' you think any
-one would mind?"
-
-"How'll they know?" said Miss Catherine, callously. "Look here, Sally;
-you go along just as fast as you can and fetch your young one. And when
-you've got back, perhaps I'll step out a minute, two or three doors up
-street, and you can answer the bell while I'm gone. Now hurry into your
-things. I'll give you your car fare."
-
-"Miss Catherine, you're just as good as you can be, and I'll do
-something to oblige you, too, some time," said Sally, her face aglow
-with delight; and having hurried into her jacket and tied up her head
-in a worsted muffler, was off.
-
-She almost ran over the packed snow down the street. She had soon left
-the quiet rows of private dwelling-houses and come where hundreds of
-lights glittered across the rose-tinged snow. At every few rods a
-street band tootled and blared, covering the scraping of snow-shovels
-and jingle of bells. "How gay it is!" she thought; "won't it be a
-treat!"
-
-She plunged into a mean, small street, leading off a mean but tawdry
-larger one, where things hung outside the shops with their prices,
-written large, pinned on them, and had soon come to the house where her
-family lived.
-
-She went in like a great gust of fresh air. In less than five minutes
-she came out, leading by the hand a little girl who, from being very
-much bundled up about the shoulders, and having brief petticoats
-above thin black legs, looked top-heavy. She was obliged to nearly
-run to keep up with Sally, and was trying to get out words through
-the breathlessness occasioned by hurrying and laughing and coming so
-suddenly into the frosty air.
-
-"Oh, lemme guess, Sal, and tell me when I'm hot. Is it made of sugar?"
-
-"No, it ain't."
-
-"But you said it was a treat, didn't you, Sally?"
-
-"I did that. But ain't there all sorts of treats? There's going to the
-circus, for instance. That hasn't any sugar."
-
-"Is it a circus, Sally? Is it a circus?"
-
-"No, it ain't a circus, but it's every bit as nice."
-
-"Is it freaks, Sally? oh, tell me if it's freaks? It isn't? Are you
-sure I shall like it very much? It's nothing to eat, and it's nothing
-I can have to keep, and it's not a circus. What color is it? You'll
-answer straight, won't you?"
-
-"Oh, it's every color in the world, and striped and polka-dotted and
-crinkled and smooth. There's a hundred of it."
-
-The child would have stopped short on the sidewalk the better to centre
-her mind on guessing, but Sally dragged her briskly along. At the top
-of the street they came to a standstill.
-
-"What is it?" asked the child.
-
-"We're going to take the car," said Sally, grandly.
-
-"O--h!" breathed the child.
-
-"I guess you never stepped on to one of these before. This, Tibbie, is
-nothing but the beginning. Hi! Hi!"
-
-The swiftly gliding, fiery, formidable car stopped, and the hoarse
-buzz died out in a grinding of brakes; the light was dimmed a minute,
-then flared out again, as if the monster had winked. Sally and Tibbie
-climbed on; it moved, banging and whirring on its farther way. They had
-to stand, of course, but what of that? Tibbie looked all about with her
-shining, intelligent brown eyes, and felt a flush of gratified pride
-to see Sally, when the conductor had squeezed himself near, pay like
-the others; it had seemed impossible that some compromise should not
-have to be made with him. She slipped her hand in Sally's, and was too
-occupied with the people and the colored advertisements to talk.
-
-"Did you get anything for Christmas yet, Tibbie?"
-
-She moved her head up and down, bestowing all her attention on a
-parcel-laden woman bound to drop something the next time she stirred.
-
-"What did you get?"
-
-"A doll's flat-iron and a muslin bag of candy. I put the iron on to
-heat, and it melted. I gave what was left to Jimmy."
-
-"Who gave them to you?"
-
-"Off the Sunday-school tree. But there were no lights on it, because it
-was daytime. Sally, I know something that has a hundred--"
-
-"What's that? Let's see if you've got it now?"
-
-Tibbie looked a little shamefaced, then said, "A dollar--is a hundred
-cents."
-
-"Well, and would I be bringing you so far just to show you a dollar?
-This is worth as much as a dollar, every individual one of them.
-Tibbie, it's just the grandest sight you ever seen--pink and blue and
-yellow and striped--"
-
-Tibbie, who was looking Sally fixedly in the face, as if to see if her
-secret anywhere transpired, now almost shouted, "It's marbles!"
-
-"Aw, but you're downright stupid, Tibbie. I don't mind telling you I'm
-disappointed. You're just a common, every-day sort of young one, with
-no idear of grandness in your idears at all. And you don't seem to keep
-a hold on more than one notion at a time. First it's a dollar. Is that
-pink and blue? And next it's marbles. Is marbles worth a dollar apiece?
-Now tell me what's the grandest, prettiest thing that ever you saw--"
-
-"... Angels."
-
-"D' you ever see any?"
-
-"In the church window, painted."
-
-"Well, this is as handsome as a hundred angels, less than a foot tall,
-all in new clothes, with little hats on."
-
-"Sally, I think I know now. Only it couldn't be that. There couldn't
-likely be a hundred of them all together, for, oh, Sally, it isn't a
-store we are going to! You didn't tell me it was a store."
-
-"No more it is. We're going straight to Mrs. Darling's house, and no
-place but there. Here's where we get off."
-
-The big girl, with the small one, alighted and turned into the quieter
-streets, Tibbie, as before, almost running to keep up with her
-long-legged friend.
-
-They went into Mrs. Darling's by the back door. In the kitchen stood
-Miss Catherine in a coat with jet spangles and a hat with nodding
-plumes, pulling on a pair of tight kid gloves.
-
-Tibbie at sight of her hung back, murmuring to Sally, "You didn't tell
-me! You didn't tell me!"
-
-"Now, you'll be sure she don't touch anything, Sally," said Miss
-Catherine, looking Tibbie over.
-
-"Naw! She won't hurt anything. I've told her I'll skin her if she does."
-
-"Are her hands clean? You'd better give them a wash, anyhow."
-
-Tibbie dropped her eyes, a little mortified.
-
-"All right! I'll wash 'em," said Sally.
-
-"She'd better scrape her boots thoroughly on the mat, too, before going
-up."
-
-"I'll look after all that, Miss Catherine. Just you go long with an
-easy mind."
-
-"Well, I'm off. I won't be long. Why don't you give her a piece of that
-cake? It's cut. But make her eat it down here. Good-night, little
-girl. I guess you never was in a house like this before. Good-night,
-Sal. Is my hat on straight?"
-
-She was gone, and the whole house now belonged to Sally and Tibbie.
-They looked at each other in silence a moment; the glee they felt came
-shining to the surface of their faces and made them grin broadly at
-each other.
-
-"She's particular, ain't she?" said Sally.
-
-"I just as soon wash them again, but they're clean. I thought you said
-she was gone off to a party and going to be gone till real late."
-
-"Law!" roared Sally, and plumped down to contort herself in comfort.
-"She thought it was Mrs. Darling herself! Law! law!"
-
-Tibbie laughed, too, but not so heartily, and the great time began.
-
-Sally went for the cake-box, and Tibbie made a thoughtful selection;
-and "Who'll ever find a few crumbs?" said Sally. "Come along!"
-
-The great child and the little, full of a sense of play, went up the
-stairs hand in hand. Tibbie could scarcely take account of what was
-happening to her, such was the pure delight of the adventure.
-
-"This is the dining-room; this is the sitting-room; this is the
-receiving-room; this, now prepare--this is Mrs. Darling's own room!"
-
-Up went the light; the rose-paper walls, the rose-chintz dumpy chairs,
-the silver-laden dressing-table, the pink and white draped bed, leaped
-into sight. Tibbie stood still, open-lipped.
-
-"Ain't it handsome?" asked Sally, with the pride of indirectly
-belonging to such things. "Come along, I'm going to wash your hands in
-Mrs. Darling's basin."
-
-She drew Tibbie, who gazed backward over her shoulder, into the little
-alcove where the marble wash-stand was, and turned on stiff jets of hot
-and cold water together. At the sweet odor of the soap tablet pushed
-under her nose, Tibbie's attention was won to the operations of washing
-and wiping.
-
-"But where is there a hundred of anything?" she asked, faintly,
-looking all about.
-
-"Oh, this ain't it yet! This is only like the outside entry. Now, Miss
-Tibbs, what kind of scent will you have on your hands?"
-
-"Oh, Sal!"
-
-"Shall it be Violet, or Russian Empress, or--what's this other--Lilass
-Blank? or the anatomizer played over them like the garden-hose?"
-
-
-They unstopped the bottles in turn, and drew up out of them great,
-noisy, luxurious breaths. "This, Sally, this," said Tibbie at the one
-with the double name like a person. Sally poured a drop in her little
-rough, red hands, and she danced as she rubbed them together.
-
-"Why are the little scissors crooked?" she asked, busily picking
-up and putting down things one after the other. "What for is the
-fluting-irons? What for is the butter in the little chiny jar? What's
-the flour for in the silver box? Oh, what's this? Oh, Sal, what's that?"
-
-Sally picked up the powder-puff and gave her little friend, who drew
-back startled and coughing, a dusty dab with it on each cheek. "It's to
-make you pale," she said. "It ain't fashionable to be red." She applied
-the puff to her own cheeks as well. The two stood gazing in silent
-interest at themselves in the mirror, and gradually broke into smiles
-at the incongruous reflection. Sally suddenly bent one cheek, hitched
-up one shoulder, and brushed half her face clean; then did the same by
-the other cheek with her other shoulder. Tibbie, who had watched her,
-aped her movement faithfully. They looked at themselves again, and
-Tibbie remarked, "But I ain't red, anyhow."
-
-"Law! that you ain't! When are you going to begin to get some fat on
-your bones, Tibbie, or to grow?"
-
-"I don't know. Who's the gentleman, Sal, in the pretty frame?"
-
-"That's Mrs.'s husband. He ain't been living some time."
-
-"Oh, he isn't living. Listen, listen, Sally! What's that noise I keep
-hearing? I've heard it ever since we came."
-
-Sally listened. "That? That's Jetty. It's a little bit of a dog, up at
-the top of the house."
-
-"Oh, a little bit of a dog! Why does he bark all the time?"
-
-"I guess Mrs. Bonnet shut him up there alone in the dark till she came
-back from gadding with Miss Pittock."
-
-"Couldn't we get him, Sally? I hate to hear him. I want to see him
-awfully."
-
-"All right. You wait here. But don't you hurt anything, or I'll skin
-you, sure, like I told Miss Catherine. And whatever you do, don't you
-go into the little room till I come back."
-
-"Is the hundred there?"
-
-"Yes, it's there."
-
-Tibbie, left alone, looked at the half-open door a minute, then turned
-away from it: all was so interesting, anyhow, she could wait with
-grace. With the palm of her hand, which she frequently stopped to
-smell, she stroked the fine linen pillows on the bed, and the white
-bear rugs on the floor, and the curtains: everything felt so soft. She
-examined the features of the Rev. Dorel Goodhue with approbation,
-proposing to ask Sally whether she knew him.
-
-The bark came nearer and nearer; when the door opened, in tumbled a
-small silky ball of black dog, who almost turned himself inside out in
-his delight at being in human company again. He ran floppily about and
-about the floor, in his conscious, cringing, graceful way, waving his
-tail round and round, tossing back his long silk ears to bark and bark.
-
-At last the girls between them had him caught. He was squeezed tight in
-Tibbie's arms, where he wriggled and twitched, covering her cheeks and
-ears with rapid dog-kisses, interspersed still with rapturous barks.
-"Oh, oh!" cried Tibbie, trying vainly to hold him still long enough to
-get a good kiss at him. "Isn't he soft? Isn't he sweet? And he has a
-yellow ribbon. Oh, do keep quiet, doggie dear--you tickle!"
-
-"I don't think we will bother any more about seeing the hundred," said
-Sally, a feigned coldness in her tone, and stood aloof watching child
-and dog.
-
-"I had forgotten, honest, Sally."
-
-"Put him down and come on, then."
-
-"Mayn't I hold him and come too?"
-
-"No; for when you see 'em, you'll drop him so quick you'll like as not
-break his legs."
-
-"All right. Down, Jetty! Down, sir! Come along, Jetty; come right
-along, dear!"
-
-"Wait a minute. I'll go in first and turn up the light. When I sing
-out, you come on."
-
-She went ahead, and Jetty precipitated himself at her heels. Tibbie
-stooped with anxious inducing noises, and "Come back, sir! Come back!"
-
-"Ready!" shouted Sally.
-
-Tibbie made a bound for the door, but at a step's distance was overcome
-by a curious timidity, and instead of bolting in, pulled the door
-towards her tremulously, and pushed aside the lace hanging with a cold
-hand.
-
-There lay the hundred, all on a couch under the gas-light, arranged as
-in a show-window, propped by means of silk cushions so as to form a
-solid sloping bank--the hundred beautiful dolls.
-
-"Well, ma'am?" asked Sally, expectantly.
-
-Tibbie said nothing, but looked at them vaguely, full of constraint.
-
-"Well, I never!" said Sally. "Don't you like 'em? What on earth did you
-expect, child? Well, I never! Well, if it don't beat all! Why, when I
-was a young one--Why, Tibbie girl--don't you think they are _lovely_?"
-
-"Yes," she whispered, moving her head slowly up and down, then letting
-it hang.
-
-"Aw, come out of that," said Sally, understanding. "Come, let's look at
-'em one by one, taking all our time. Come to Sally, darling, and don't
-feel bad. We'll have lots of fun."
-
-She took the not unwilling Tibbie by the hand, and led her nearer the
-banked splendor.
-
-The dolls were all of a size, and, undressed, would with difficulty
-have been told apart, except, perhaps, by their little mothers. All
-were very blond and wide-eyed and bow-lipped; all, though dressed like
-little ladies, had the chubby hands of infants; and their boots were
-painted trimly on with black, and their garters with blue. But how to
-render the coquettish fashionableness with which these wax-complexioned
-darlings were tricked out! all equally in silks and satins and velvets
-and lace, so that there could be no jealousies; all with hats of like
-beauty and stylishness.
-
-Sally seated herself on the floor beside the low couch, and pulled
-Tibbie down into her lap, who drew up Jetty into hers. Tibbie had
-recovered the power to speak, but was still unduly sober and husky.
-
-"I had almost guessed it, you know," she said, "when you said like
-angels with hats on. But I couldn't think there would be a hundred
-unless it was a store. What has the lady so many for?"
-
-"Bless your heart! They ain't for herself! They are for orphans in a
-school that a minister-cousin of hers is superintendent of. She has
-been over a month making these clothes. Every Wednesday she would give
-a tea party, and a lot of ladies come and sit stitching and snipping
-and buzzing over the dolls' clothes the blessed afternoon. And I washed
-the tea things after them all!"
-
-"They are for the orphans. Are there a hundred orphans?"
-
-"I guess likely."
-
-"Suppose, Sally--suppose there were only ninety-nine, and some girl got
-two!"
-
-"Well, we two have got a hundred for to-night, Tibbie, so let's play,
-and glad enough we've got our mothers. Look, this is the way you must
-hold them to be sure of not crumpling anything."
-
-She slipped her hand deftly under a doll's petticoats, and they peeped
-discreetly at the dainty under-clothes, crisp and snowy, more lace than
-linen.
-
-"My soul and body! Did you ever see the like!" exclaimed Sally,
-spurring on Tibbie's enthusiasm by the tone of her voice, making the
-wonder more, to fill her little friend's soul to intoxication. Tibbie
-easily responded. She fairly rocked herself to and fro with delight.
-
-"And not a pin among 'em," sighed Sally. "All pearl buttons and silk
-tying-strings and silver hooks and eyes; and, mercy on my soul! a
-little bit of a pocket in every dress, with its little bit of a lace
-pocket-handkerchief inside. D'you see that, Tibbie? And not two alike!"
-
-"Oh, but there are some _'most_ alike!" said the quick-eyed Tibbie;
-"only, scattered far apart. There are three with the little rose-bud
-silk, and here's more than one with the speckled muslin. Perhaps those
-will be given to sisters."
-
-"Come on, Tibbie; let's choose the one we would choose to get, if we
-was to get one given us. Now, I would like that one in red velvet. It's
-just so dressy, ain't it, with the gold braid sewed down in a pattern
-round the bottom. Which would you take?"
-
-"I should like the one all in white. She must be a bride; see, she has
-a wreath and veil and necklace. I should like her the very best. But
-right after that, if I could have two, I should like this other in the
-shade-hat with the forget-me-nots, and forget-me-nots dotted all over
-her dress. And, see! the sky-blue hair-ribbon. If I could just have
-three of them, then I would take this one too, with the black lace
-shawl over her head fastened with roses instead of a hat. She has such
-a lovely face! And after her I would choose this one in green--or this
-one in pink; no, this one here, Sally, just look--this one in green and
-pink. And you, if you could have more than one, which would you choose,
-after the red one?"
-
-"Well, I guess I'd choose this one in white."
-
-"Oh no, Sally; don't you remember? That is the bride, the one I said
-the very first. You can have all the others, Sally dear, except the
-bride. But let's see, perhaps there are two brides. Yes!--no!--that is
-just a little girl in white, without a wreath. Should you like her as
-well? I was the first to say the bride, you know."
-
-"Law! I wouldn't have wanted her if I had known she was a bride! I
-take this one, Tibbie--this one with the feathers in her hat. Ain't she
-the gay girl, in red and green plaid! And this purple silk one, and
-this red and white stripe, and this--"
-
-"Wait! That's enough, Sally; that makes four for you. It's my turn
-now. If I could have five, I should take one of the rose-bud ones--no,
-two of them, so's to play I had twins. Say, Sally, let's choose one
-apiece--first you one, then me one, till we've chosen them all up, and
-got fifty apiece. Your turn."
-
-They chose and chose, pointing each time, and detailing the costume of
-the chosen one aloud with the greatest enjoyment.
-
-Jetty had laid himself down beside them, stretched his silky length,
-his nose between his paws. He was very tired. Perhaps among the things
-his great moist eyes were wondering about was the reason of this
-fatigue in his vocal chords.
-
-"For my forty-fifth one," said Sally, placing her forefinger pensively
-against the side of her nose, "I choose her--her with the little black
-velvets run all through."
-
-"Taken already," said Tibbie, promptly.
-
-"Then her over there, with the short puffy sleeves."
-
-"Taken!"
-
-"She taken too? Well, then, her in the pink Mother Hubbard with the
-little knitting-bag on her arm."
-
-"Taken, Sally! Can't you remember anything? Those belong to me; I chose
-them long ago. These are the only not taken ones; here and here and
-here and here and here and here and--"
-
-"Aw, you're a great girl!" cried Sally, suddenly throwing her arms
-around Tibbie and casting herself backward on the floor with her, where
-they tumbled and rolled, laughing, Jetty jumping about on top of them,
-barking hoarsely in a frenzy of fun.
-
-"Oh, Tibbie, ain't we having a time of it?"
-
-And Tibbie almost shouted, "Yes!--ain't we having a time of it!"
-
-"Ain't this a night?"
-
-"Oh yes!--ain't it a night!"
-
-Sally tickled and poked her affectionately; and she tried to tickle
-Sally, and laughed till she was almost hysterical, and never
-remembered who she was, or thought of anything outside this little
-room, but was filled with a sense of the crazy deliciousness of the
-moment.
-
-At last, weak with laughter, she disentangled herself from the still
-panting and laughing Sally on the floor, and insisted on returning
-to the business of the distribution. She felt in the mood to be very
-funny. She jerked herself up and down and all about in a senseless sort
-of way.
-
-"Here, Sally, now stop laughing and let's finish. It was your turn.
-You'd best take that one; she looks more as if she might be a little
-girl of yours, her cheeks are so red--red as a great big cabbage!" This
-remark seemed to Tibbie so inexpressibly humorous that she laughed
-again till she nearly cried.
-
-"Well, it's sure none of 'em has legs to make 'em look like children
-of yours," retorted Sally; and that seemed a greater joke still. With
-a foal's action, Tibbie flung out the thin black legs with the awkward
-boots at the ends of them, and dropped to the floor squirming and
-laughing. Sally caught her suddenly again, and cast herself backward
-with her as before, in a gale of mirth.
-
-There they were frolicking, when the peal of a bell rang brightly
-across their giggles.
-
-Sally sat up instantly, and all in Mrs. Darling's house was for a long
-moment still as the very grave, for Sally had instinctively clapped her
-hand over Jetty's ready muzzle.
-
-"Murder!" whispered Sally, solemnly, at last.
-
-"What is it?" breathed Tibbie in her ear.
-
-"Was it the front door or the back door?" asked Sally.
-
-"I dun'no', Sally."
-
-Sally had picked herself up, and was stroking down her things.
-
-Tibbie stood beside her, looking up in her face, her own a trifle pale.
-
-Sally's irresolution lasted only a second. She cast an eye on the
-dolls, saw that they were very nearly as she had found them, and turned
-down the light. She looked about Mrs. Darling's room to see that all
-was as usual, and turned down the lights there too, after glancing at
-the clock.
-
-"It ain't late," she murmured. "It ain't a bit later than I supposed.
-It can't be her! It might be Mrs. Bonnet, though, getting home before
-Catherine, who's got the key. I shouldn't want her to catch you here
-for the whole world. Look here, Tibbie. You stand in here till I find
-out who it is, and if it's Mrs. Bonnet, you'll have to stay hidden till
-I find a good chance to come and smuggle you down."
-
-Tibbie waited in the farthest corner of the hall closet, holding her
-breath, conscious of nothing at first but excitement and fear of she
-did not know quite what. After a little, the thought drifted across her
-fervent hope for present safety, that though she got well out of this
-scrape, she would probably never see those radiant dollies again, her
-own half or Sally's.
-
-She heard a whiffling and scratching at the closet door. Here was
-Jetty, dear Jetty, whose actions would surely betray her to Mrs. Bonnet
-when she came that way. Tibbie whispered: "Go right away, Jetty.
-There's no one in this closet; go right away!" and pressed backward to
-the wall, among the water-proofs, feeling like a little criminal with
-the police on her track.
-
-"Tibbie!" came Sally's voice from the foot of the stairs: it sounded
-perfectly calm, and pleasant with a sort of company pleasantness.
-"It's all right. It's just a friend dropped in for a moment. You can
-go in again and play a little longer. Turn up the light carefully. But
-remember what I told you."
-
-Tibbie instantly forgot all her fears. She came out and picked up
-Jetty; she kissed him, explaining why she had told him to go away. The
-doggie seemed to bear no malice.
-
-Tibbie tiptoed into the doll-room, and established herself on her knees
-before the dolls, happier than before, with a profounder happiness, in
-a stiller, almost devotional mood. It was so different being alone with
-them, having them quite to herself, to play with in her own way. She
-took up the bride with a reverent hand, and after long contemplating
-her, very seriously, tenderly kissed her. Then, touching them as if
-they had been snow-flakes almost, she moved the impressive little
-persons about, until her fifty were on one side and Sally's on the
-other.
-
-"I can't play they're a family," she reflected; "they are too many
-all the same age, and all girls. I will play they are a hundred girls
-in an orphan asylum--a very rich orphan asylum--and that I am the
-superintendent. To-morrow I am going to give each a beautiful doll
-for a Christmas present. This little girl's name is Rosa. That one
-is Nelly. That one is Katy. That one is Sue." She named every one,
-passing through the list of such names as Golden-locks, Cherrylips,
-Diamondeyes, to end with such invented ones as Kirry, Mirry, Dirry,
-Birry. They seemed so much completer with names. Tibbie would say,
-"Miss Snowdrop!" And Miss Snowdrop, with Tibbie's assistance, would
-rise, answering, "Yes, ma'am." "Spell knot." "N--O--T!" "Not at all,
-my dear. Sit down again, my dear. Miss Lily; stand up, miss, and see if
-you can do any better this morning."
-
-Suddenly, after having taken the asylum through a day's exercises,
-Tibbie tired of being the superintendent. She craved a relation more
-intimate, more affectionate, with the dollies. She did not believe a
-superintendent would have kissed and fondled them as she longed to do.
-She selected a dozen or so, to play they were her children. She gave
-them their supper; she washed them and made them say their prayers. She
-told them it was bedtime, and she would now rock them to sleep. She
-turned down the light, to make all very real, and drawing out a low
-rocking-chair that seemed made for her purpose, seated herself in it
-with two dolls on each arm, the rest made as comfortable as possible
-on her lap; for not one of them, after being included in the family,
-could, of course, be left out of the rocking. She rocked gently, now
-hushing, now singing "Bye-low-low-baby," her maternal heart swollen
-very large. In time, one of the daughters became fractious and
-restless; she had to have medicine, and the rocking for her sake had
-to become almost violent. Nothing would soothe her but that the chair
-should rock backward and forward to the very tip ends of its rockers.
-This had its good effect at last; all the dolls were fast asleep, and
-the mother, her duty done, composed herself to take a well-earned rest
-too. This thought was no doubt suggested to Tibbie by the fact that she
-was really getting sleepy. It was long past her bedtime.
-
-She was not far from napping when she became aware of Sally saying:
-"Lively, Tibbie! Miss Catherine has got back. We must be packing off
-home. I declare I lost sight of the time. There's just no one like a
-fireman to be entertaining, I declare. Mrs. Bonnet won't be long coming
-now."
-
-She turned up the light, and saw the dolls so disarranged.
-
-Tibbie was rubbing her eyes.
-
-"Law!" said Sally, a little blankly. "Do you suppose we can get them to
-look as they did? I hope t' Heaven she didn't know which went next to
-which. Do you remember, Tibbie, where each belonged?"
-
-"Yes. The bride went here. The rose-buds here. The purple and gray
-here. I can put them all back, every one."
-
-"Oh, we're all right!" said Sally, cheerfully again. "No one'll ever
-know in the world they've been disturbed."
-
-She had drawn off to get the general effect, and compare it with the
-earlier image in her brain, when she made a dive for one of the dolls,
-the last one, that the sleepy Tibbie had handed her up off the floor.
-
-"Tibbie!" she said, in a ghastly whisper, "look at its head!"
-
-Something had happened to it, certainly. Its pink-and-white face was
-pushed in; it looked very much as if a chair-rocker had gone over it.
-Tibbie looked at it, not understanding at all.
-
-"Oh, Tibbie!" groaned Sally, "now what'll we do!"
-
-"I didn't do it," said Tibbie, lifting a pale face with perfectly
-truthful eyes. "I was just as careful! She was one of my daughters; I
-had her in my lap rocking her to sleep with the others; she must have
-slipped off my lap--there were too many for one lap, I guess--but I
-didn't step on her. Sure, Sally--sure as I live, I didn't step on her!"
-
-"Oh, law! You must have rocked on her. Oh, Tibbie, what'll I do!"
-
-She picked up the doll to examine it, but saw at once that the little
-face could not be made right again.
-
-Tibbie watched her without a word; her voice seemed to have sunk far
-below reach.
-
-Sally moved the dolls about tentatively, so that ninety-nine should
-cover the same space as a hundred. Certainly at first glance the
-one she held would never be missed. "But what's the good?" she
-said, throwing it down. "They'll count them, and there'll be the
-mischief of a fuss. Oh, Tibbie"--and she had reached the end of her
-good-nature--"why did I ever think of bringing you here? Now look
-at all the trouble you've brought on me, when I thought you'd be so
-careful! And I told you and told you till I was hoarse. And here
-you've ruined all!"
-
-Tibbie's eyes could not bear to meet Sally's. She stood with her hands
-behind her, speechless and motionless, in the middle of the floor.
-
-"I declare I don't know what to do!" Sally exclaimed, dropping her arms
-and sitting down before the wreck. "I wish I'd never seen 'em! I wish
-there'd never been any Christmas! Oh, it's a great job, this! Tibbie,
-you've done for me this time!"
-
-At this moment Miss Catherine came in to hurry them.
-
-"She's broken one of them!" blurted out Sally.
-
-"You don't mean it!"
-
-"Yes, she has!"
-
-"Let me see it. Oh, you wicked child! She's smashed its face right in!
-Now who ever heard of such naughtiness?"
-
-Tibbie twisted about ever so little, to get her back turned towards the
-two.
-
-"She didn't do it out of naughtiness at all, Miss Catherine. She's as
-good a child as ever lived!" At that Tibbie's shoulders gave a little
-convulsive heave. "It was an accident entirely. But that's just as bad
-for me. I suppose I shall have to say it was me did it."
-
-"And then they'll say what was I doing while the kitchen help was
-poking about in the Mrs.'s chamber. No; you don't get me into trouble,
-Sally Bean! You'd much better say how it was--how that you asked me if
-you just might bring a little girl to look, and I said you might, out
-of pure good-nature, being Christmas is rightly for children, and I've
-a softness for them. And while we was both in the kitchen, she slipped
-away from us and came here and done it before we knew. And the child
-herself will say that it was so. You'll be packed off dead sure out of
-this place if you let on you meddled with them yourself. She won't have
-her things meddled with--There goes the bell. There comes that old cat
-Bonnet."
-
-She hurried off to open.
-
-"What's the matter?" said Mrs. Bonnet, elevating her eyebrows as she
-appeared at the door and looked into the room she had expected to find
-dark and still. She held a paper bag; she spoke with an impediment and
-a breath of peppermint. Her cheek-bones and the end of her nose were
-brilliant pink with the cold. "What child is that?"
-
-Miss Catherine was behind Mrs. Bonnet. "It happened this way, Mrs.
-Bonnet," she began, and told the story with a little tactful adaptation
-to the intelligence of her audience, ending, "And now, Mrs. Bonnet,
-what's to be done?"
-
-"Oh, you wicked little brat!" said Mrs. Bonnet. "I just want to get
-hold of you and shake you!"
-
-She made a snatch at Tibbie, who instinctively got beyond her clutch,
-and turning scared eyes towards Sally, said, just audibly, "I want to
-go home; I want to go home."
-
-"It don't seem possible," said Mrs. Bonnet, bitterly, "that I can't run
-out a minute just to do an errand for Mrs. Darling herself--to get a
-spool of feather-stitching silk--but things like this has to happen.
-Catherine, I thought you, at least, was a responsible person, and here
-you has to go and--"
-
-"Mrs. Bonnet," Catherine interrupted, "you just let that alone! Don't
-you try none of that with me! I went out of an errand every bit as much
-as you did. I went out to make sure the ice-cream would be sent in good
-season for Christmas dinner, I did. Now I don't get dragged into this
-mess one bit more than you do!"
-
-Mrs. Bonnet looked at her with a poison-green eye. She seemed to be
-repressing what was a trifle difficult to keep the upper hand of.
-
-"Well," she exclaimed at last, "Mrs. Darling will be here in a
-minute, and then we shall all see what we shall see. Lord, ain't that
-woman been cross to-day, and fussy! 'Tain't as if she was like other
-people--a little bit sensible, and could take some little few things
-into consideration, and remember we are all human flesh and blood.
-Not much! She don't consider nothing, nor nobody, nor feelings, nor
-circumstances! She just makes things fly! Things has to go her way,
-every time!"
-
-"I want to go home," cried Tibbie, pathetically, and looked towards
-Sally now with a trembling face.
-
-"No, you sha'n't go home," said Bonnet, uglily. "You shall stay right
-here and take the blame you deserve, after spoiling the face of that
-handsome doll. What do you mean by it, you little brat, you little
-gutter imp?"
-
-"You let her alone, Mrs. Bonnet," said Sally, with a boldness that had
-never before characterized her relations with that lady. "Don't you
-talk to her like that! Any one can see she's as sorry as sorry can be
-for what she's done, and all the trouble she's got us into--"
-
-"And what does that help, I'd like to know? The doll is broke, ain't
-it? And some one of us is going to catch it, however things go. You're
-a lucky girl, I say, if you don't lose your place. Some one of us is
-going to, I can easy foretell."
-
-"I ain't going to lose my place," said Miss Catherine, firmly; and
-with a lifted chin was leaving to lay off her things, when the cook's
-nice copper-saucepan face was pushed a little inside the door.
-
-"What's the matter?" she asked, cheerily, and stepped in. Her
-high-colored shawl was pinned on her breast with a big brooch; her
-bonnet-strings were nearly lost in her fat chin. "What's it all about?
-Whose nice little girl is this?"
-
-Gradually she got the whole story, and going straight to Tibbie lifted
-her miserable little face, saying: "Don't you feel bad one bit,
-darlin'! It was all an accident, and it's no good crying over spilt
-milk. And if Mrs. Darling gets mad at you, she ain't the real lady I
-take her for. Why, I gave my Clary a new doll to-night, and it's ready
-for a new head this minute. And did I stop to rear and tear about it?
-Not a bit of it. Why, bless you, she didn't go for to do it! What child
-smashes a doll a purpose? You're a pretty set, the whole gang of you,
-to pitch into a mite like this!"
-
-Tibbie by this time was freely weeping, and Sally and the cook
-together were trying to comfort and silence her.
-
-"I've a great mind to stay here myself and stand up for her, yer pack
-of old maids, the lot of yer!" said the cook, looking hard at Mrs.
-Bonnet, who had reappeared without her hat and coat.
-
-"You will oblige me, Mrs. MacGrath, by doing nothing of the sort,"
-said Mrs. Bonnet. "We've no need to have a whole scene from the drama.
-You've no business on this floor anyhow, and I must insist on your
-keeping yourself in your own quarters."
-
-"And I'll take my own time, yer born Britisher," said Mrs. MacGrath.
-Then putting her arm around Tibbie: "Well, Tibbie dear, you can be
-sure of this: however bad this seems, it'll soon be over. And if Mrs.
-Darling does scold, it'll soon be over too. It'll all be looking
-different to you in the morning. However things goes, you'll soon be
-forgetting all about it. And to-morrow is Christmas Day, that our own
-dear Lord was born on, and I'll bake you a little cake and send it to
-you by Sally."
-
-"But Sally's going to be sent away," sobbed Tibbie.
-
-"So she might be, but I feel it in my little toe that she ain't going
-to be."
-
-"Well, and if I am, I am, and there an end," said Sally, bravely. "But
-I don't see why she can't take the price of the doll out of my wages
-and let me stay."
-
-"I think you'll find," said Mrs. Bonnet, "that it ain't most
-particularly the cost of the doll gets you into trouble--There she
-comes this minute!"
-
-The door-bell had rung. Profound silence reigned above, while all
-listened. Tibbie stopped crying.
-
-"Good-night," came Mrs. Darling's sweet voice, presently, floating up
-from the foot of the stairs.
-
-"Good-night," came the Rev. Dorel Goodhue's.
-
-There was a rustle of silken skirts.
-
-"Oh, Cousin Cynthia!"
-
-"Yes?"
-
-"At ten, did you say--or half past?"
-
-"I said ten--_or_ half past. Good-night."
-
-More rustling of skirts; then,
-
-"Oh, Cousin Dorel--"
-
-"Yes?" from the foot of the stairs.
-
-"It doesn't matter--what we spoke about, you know, unless perfectly
-convenient."
-
-"Oh, but it will be convenient, perfectly. Good-night. Sleep well."
-
-"You too. Pleasant dreams. Good-night."
-
-"Good-night."
-
-The rustling drew nearer, and Mrs. Darling stood in the doorway,
-looking with a sort of absent-minded astonishment at the assemblage in
-her room.
-
-The violets were quite dead on her white bosom; her hair was beginning
-to come loose, and stood out in golden wisps about her flushed face.
-She looked very sweet and soft and shiny-eyed and pleasant altogether.
-
-"What is it?" she asked; and as Jetty was evoluting and clamoring about
-her feet she picked him up and kissed him like a mother. "Has anything
-happened? What is everybody doing up here? Whose little girl is this
-sitting up so late? They used to tell me I should never grow, my dear,
-if I sat up so late--"
-
-"This is what it is, ma'am," began Mrs. Bonnet; and she told her
-arrangement of the story, uttering her words as a mowing-machine cuts
-weeds.
-
-Mrs. Darling abstractedly took the rocking-chair; as she listened, the
-pleasant, happy look forsook her face.
-
-"Oh, cut it short!" she interrupted, sharply. "What you have to tell is
-that the child there has broken one of the dolls, isn't it?"
-
-There was an assenting mutter from Mrs. Bonnet.
-
-"And you've kept her here, when she ought to have been in bed these
-hours, to bear the first beauty of my displeasure--"
-
-Mrs. Darling had said so much in a hard voice, with an appearance of
-cold anger; here her voice suddenly died, and she burst out crying
-like a vexed, injured child. "I _declare_ it is too bad!" she sobbed,
-quite reckless of making a spectacle of herself, while all looked on
-and listened in consternation--"I declare it is too bad! It's no use!
-It doesn't matter _what_ I do--it is always the same! It is _always_
-taken for granted I will conduct myself like a beast. Who can wonder,
-after that, if I do? Here I find them, pale as sheets, the five of
-them, shaking in their boots because a forlorn little child has broken
-a miserable doll. And _what_ is it supposed I shall do about it? Didn't
-I dress the hundred of them for children, and little poor children
-too? And I must have known they would get broken, of course. _Why_
-did I dress them? _What_ did I spend months dressing them for? Solely
-for _show_, they think--not for any charity, any kindness, any love
-of children, or anything in the _world_ but to make an effect on an
-occasion, I suppose--to make myself a merit with the parson, perhaps!"
-Here her crying seemed to become less of anger and nervousness, and
-more of sorrow; one would have thought her heart-broken. "Oh, it is too
-bad! One would imagine I never said a decent thing, or did a kind act,
-to any one. And Heaven knows it is not for lack of trying to change.
-But no one sees the difference! I am treated like a vixen and a terror.
-All the people about me hate and fear and deceive me! A proof of it
-to-night! Oh, the _lesson_! Oh, I wasn't _meant_ for this! I wasn't
-meant for it! When I remember last Sunday's sermon, and how straight to
-my heart it went--oh, I am a fool to cry! Come here to me, dear child.
-What is your name? What? A little louder! What did you say? Tibbie!
-Oh, what a nice, funny name!" Mrs. Darling smiled through her tears,
-pathetically hiccoughing and sighing while she spoke. "_You_ didn't
-think I was going to scold you, did you, dear? Of _course_ not! It was
-an accident; I understand all about it. I used to break my dolls' heads
-frequently, I remember very well--"
-
-Mrs. Darling had put her arm endearingly around Tibbie, and tried to
-make the child's head easy on her shoulder. But poor Tibbie's muscles
-could not relax; her stiff little face rested uncomfortably, without
-pressing, upon its warm alabaster prop. "Let us see, dear, now, what
-we can do to make us both feel happier. I dressed all those dolls for
-little children I am not acquainted with at all. Which of them should
-you like the very best? Which should you like for your very own?"
-
-Tibbie could neither make herself move nor speak; but the tail of her
-eye travelled towards the dolls.
-
-"The bride!" Sally took the liberty of saying, beaming as she came to
-Tibbie's aid.
-
-"The bride? Which one is that? That one? Of course!" Mrs. Darling
-reached for the resplendent favorite and placed her in Tibbie's hands.
-"There, my dear."
-
-Tibbie took the doll loosely, without breath of thanks; but while Mrs.
-Darling reviewed the dolls, her hand went out involuntarily towards the
-broken one. Mrs. Darling saw it. "Of course," she said--"of course, you
-would want that poor dollie to nurse back to health. Now, dear, isn't
-there _one more_ you would like?"
-
-At this Tibbie's confusion seemed likely to overwhelm and swamp her.
-"I'll choose one for you," said Mrs. Darling, "and you shall call her
-Cynthia, after me. How would you like that? Suppose we say this one,
-with the forget-me-nots? She looks a little like me, doesn't she, with
-her hair parted in the middle? Her frock is made of a piece of one of
-my own, and that blue is my favorite color. There, Tibbie, now you have
-two whole dollies and part of another. You must run right home to bed.
-A Merry Christmas to you, dear child. I am very happy to have made your
-acquaintance."
-
-The exuberant Sally talked like a clock gone mad all the way home
-through the clear wintry night; and since she felt inclined to
-conversation, it was well she could keep one up alone, for Tibbie, who
-trotted beside her, holding fast her dolls, did not utter a single
-word.
-
-
-
-
-THE PASSING OF SPRING
-
-
-In the crowded, unbeautiful part of the city were two streets forming
-as if the two long legs of the A we knew as children, the A with feet
-wide apart, that stood for Ape. A third street went from one to the
-other, as the little bar does across the A, but crooked, as a child's
-hand would draw it. This street was narrow, gloomy, and relatively
-quiet. The tide of traffic kept to the larger streets; the small street
-knew, beyond the occupants of its own houses and visitors to these, few
-but hurried foot-travellers who used it as a short cut, and people of
-inferior pretensions coming there to trade. The ground-story of almost
-every house was a shop; a person might have spent a life without real
-necessity for leaving the street. Here boots were made and mended; in
-the next door, clothes were sold (the dim show-windows were full of
-decent dresses, very good still for what you paid; you could be fitted
-even with a ball-dress, all beads and satin bows), yonder you could
-get money on deposit of your watch, or your flute, or your ear-drops;
-farther you could have yourself shaved. There was a window full of
-tarts and loaves; another window in which a roast fowl set its gold
-note, as some would say, between the pink note of half a ham and the
-coral note of a lobster.
-
-Across a certain one of the windows in that street for a long time had
-hung from a line, as from the belt of a savage, tails of hair--black,
-brown, blond. Below these, two featureless wax faces presented their
-sallow blankness to the passer, one wreathed with yellow curls, the
-other capped with brown waves of a regular pattern. Ordered around the
-twin turned-ebony stands were hairpins, sticks of cosmetic wrapped
-in silver paper, slabs of chalk laid on pink cotton, china pots with
-pictures of flowers or beauties and pleasing inscriptions in French,
-fuzzy white balls of down, combs, gilt-brass ornaments, kid-capped
-phials containing amber and ruby liquids. On the inside of the heavy
-shutter, caught back against the street-wall by day, was pasted a
-large print. This told you in what a prodigious way Madame Finibald's
-Gold Elixir would make your hair grow, and showed you the picture of a
-lady who doubtless had used it--her hair was extraordinary, it nearly
-reached to her feet.
-
-Perhaps it had been found that the neighborhood was become hardened to
-the sight of the luxuriant pictured hair; perhaps some who had provided
-themselves with the small copy of it, to be obtained inside on a bottle
-full of brown stuff, had grown inclined to treat of it lightly: "Ah,
-Madame Finibald!" perhaps one irritated customer had said to the old
-proprietress, coming to have made clear to her why after three bottles
-of Gold Elixir her locks were still not thick, still not glossy and
-splendid as the announcement promised they should be, "it's easy to
-cork up herb tea. It's easy to make hair long in a picture, and it's
-easy to make it thick. I don't believe there ever was any such person
-as that young woman on the label!" One morning saw a change in Madame
-Finibald's window. All the accustomed things were crowded to the sides
-to make room for a chair; on this sat a girl with brown-gold hair that
-reached in very truth to the floor.
-
-On every morning and every afternoon, through a long winter, first one
-end and then the other of the little street was crossed by a youth who
-kept to the larger thoroughfares with the stream. He carried books; he
-went rapidly, granting small attention to the things he passed. It is
-not from that to be supposed that he was profoundly thinking. His face,
-agreeable in feature and color, was rather wanting in expression; no
-more interesting than it was interested. He passed at precisely the
-same hour every morning, and the time of his passing in the afternoon
-varied but little. This, from October unto April. But when April set
-its gold stamp on the weather, had there been any wise person observing
-this well--constructed blond machine, applauding its regularity,
-holding it up perhaps as an example to other young frequenters of
-schools and lecture-rooms--that wise person would have been troubled,
-he would have had misgivings, he would have been at last full of grief.
-
-A change had come over the young man's mood. His eye was acquiring a
-roving habit. If his step had before been bent on duty, it was now
-less directly bent; if before he had been on time at his appointments,
-he must now have been always more or less late. He walked leisurely,
-swinging his books by a strap. He loitered before shop-windows, he
-turned to look after a face. The sky smiled down between the rows of
-buildings on the occasion of the first balmy day; little clouds floated
-in it, shimmering like dissolving pearls. He returned the soft sky's
-compliment; he looked up at it, the winter sternness melting from his
-eyes. At every street corner he was seen to stop, foolishly smiling
-upward; and, yes, positively, he was seen there, forgetful of all the
-people, to sigh and stretch! On that very day he lost three books out
-of his strap, and did not for some time notice it; when he did, he
-cared nothing! From a scrawl on the fly-leaf the finder of these books
-learned their rightful owner to be of the house of Fraisier.
-
-He had come hundreds of miles from an obscure town to study in this
-great city; he had been a serious, mechanical plodder for months,
-feeling that he owed it to himself and to his distant family to fill
-his head full, full with precious notions. He had formed no friendships
-with his fellow-students, fearing that they would divert him, or
-perhaps, fearing the young fellows themselves, among whom he felt
-singularly green. He lived alone in one little room at the end of the
-world, took no holidays, had no fun, went to bed early so as to be
-fresh for his book in the morning. And now, suddenly, he had completely
-lost the point of view from which it had seemed necessary that he
-should get dizzily high marks, that he should conquer field after field
-in the realm of learning, and return to his home exuding glory. He
-could not persuade himself any more but that it befitted him perfectly
-to spend many hours strolling through the streets with his hands in
-his pockets, amusing his eyes with sights of every sort. He could find
-no argument that satisfied him why he should not lounge on a garden
-seat warm with sun, smoking cigarettes half the day, thinking nothing
-profitable. The wretched boy had lost all sober sense of the duty of
-man.
-
-If he had limited himself to sitting idle in the garden, watching the
-year develop in that narrow, charming enclosure, one might have found
-an excuse for him, the same as for the scientist who studies a specimen
-under a glass; or, one might have said he had been overworking, his new
-circumstances on coming to the city had induced in him a false sort
-of fervor for work--a reaction was to be expected. But the mood whose
-first stage had been simple disinclination for study and a taste for
-pointless wanderings, by the time that in the march of the year the
-crocuses had gone, took on developments. It was not so often before a
-many-colored flower-bed he stopped, as before a window full of hats and
-bonnets.
-
-If, again, he had limited himself to staring in at milliners' fronts!
-The wares there do somewhat resemble fantastic flowers, and might
-explain the interest of a botanist. But he halted in the same way
-before shops that offered no excuse for the same attention; windows in
-which were only idle feminine frocks displayed, flippant fans, frills
-of fluted lace, feathery things for the neck.
-
-One might have imagined from his wonder and interest that all these
-things had just been invented, that they were a strange spring-crop;
-that new, too, was the race of smiling, chatting, shopping beings
-crowding the street on sunny days, new and in fashion only since this
-spring, such unaccustomed pleasure spoke in his eye that shyly followed
-them in their prettiest representatives. What exquisite sense shown, O
-ever-young Creator, in making the lip red, and the neck white, and the
-temperate cheek between white and red!
-
-The boy had moments of being drunk in a glorified way even as is the
-innocent bee, with nothing but wandering among flowers. Owing to a
-confusion in the ideas attendant on that mysterious soft travailing
-among the atoms of the heart warmed through by spring, all sorts of
-things to him were as flowers! His imagination was so increased in
-power, that with nothing but a pair of little shoes in a show-case to
-start from he could build up the most astonishing, dreamy stories:
-he could set feet in the shoes and rear a palatial flesh-and-blood
-structure over them, as easy as sigh; fit the whole with graces,
-laces, circumstances and adventures--contrive even to tangle its fate
-pleasingly with his own.
-
-Which may make supposed that he was a youth of some boldness. Far from
-it. He scarcely knew what a woman's eyes were like, except in profile
-or fugitive three-quarters; on the other hand, he was well acquainted
-with her back hair. Hair, in which he could pursue long studies
-unconfounded, seemed to him the most beautiful thing in all the world.
-
-One day, with a view to lengthening the way by taking a road that
-though shorter must from novelty be richer in diversion than his
-daily track, he turned into the little street that cut off the
-triangle of the A. He paused before the window of the worn watches and
-sleeve-links; he took his time over the faded finery of the second-hand
-clothes shop; he examined certain yellowed wood-cuts and stained books
-he found in a narrow open stall. As he seemed coming to the end of the
-street's resources, he looked over the way and thoughtfully felt his
-cheek: he could not find there what would have justified a refreshing
-station at the barber's. He continued his way slowly, to make it last.
-Now, he stopped where several others were likewise stopping--he had
-come to Madame Finibald's.
-
-The girl sat amid her hair, either unconscious or disdainful of the
-eyes watching her beyond the glass. She looked in a book open on her
-lap; now and then she turned over a leaf, sometimes revealing a picture
-on the page. Her chair was low, perhaps so that her hair should amply
-trail; its lowness made an excuse for the listlessness of her posture;
-her feet were outstretched and crossed, the passers might know that
-one of her shoes was laced with pink twine. If she moved her eyes from
-her book a moment, it was only to sweep them past the faces, unseeing,
-and lift them to the strip of sky between the houses--so blue this day,
-the little bit there was of it.
-
-Her face one scarcely noticed for the first moment more than any rosy
-apple; for oh! her hair!--her hair claimed all the attention a man had
-to give, did her shining hair falling stately along her cheeks, all
-over her shoulders, below her waist, beyond her garment--richer, of
-course, than any possible queen's cloak. The light rippled over it,
-changing on it all the time, when nothing else in the window appeared
-to live.
-
-Within the shadow of the shop was discerned a watchful, wrinkled old
-face, chiefly differing from a parrot's in the slyness of its eyes.
-Fraisier catching sight of it thought of a witch on guard over a
-princess enchanted and imprisoned in a glass-case.
-
-The little group in front of Madame Finibald's dispersed, formed anew
-with other faces many times in the hour; Fraisier remained, his eyes
-climbing up, sliding down the golden ropes of hair.
-
-At last, though the girl gave no sign, he was made uncomfortable by
-the sense that she must, even without looking, have seen how long he
-stood. He inquired timidly of her face. It was informed with a gentle
-brazenness, fortified to be stared at all the day. Yet there was a
-suggestion of childishness in its abstracted expression; she wore the
-sort of look one has seen on the face of a little girl playing at being
-somebody else far more splendid than herself. A close observer might
-have suspected that she really thought it rather grand to sit there in
-the gorgeousness of her hair, and was amused with pretending not to
-know that a soul looked on.
-
-Fraisier, because her eyes were lowered, found hardihood to stare his
-fill at her face. He surrendered without struggle before the round
-cheeks, the short little nose, the good-natured mouth and chin, which,
-in truth, took more than their just space in the face. But most--oh,
-still most! delighted him the brown-gold hair that tumbled over her
-forehead and ears in little curls.
-
-He was realizing from the mutterings of what was left him of a
-conscience how late it must be getting--he must be taking himself
-off; he was making long the one minute more he allowed himself, when
-her pupils slid between the lashes in his direction. He had lost all
-presence of mind, he could not withdraw his glance. After a second's
-pause upon his, her eyes slid back to her book and were hidden. Then,
-without another thought towards duty, he crossed the street to the
-barber's, from whose window he could see Madame Finibald's; and,
-coming forth with a smoother face than the rose, entered the little
-eating-shop next door, from which likewise he could command Madame
-Finibald's.
-
-He went through the little street every day. He took many atrocious
-meals in the shop, on the table nearest the window.
-
-On such days as brought perfect weather, the girl in Madame Finibald's
-would turn very often to the sky a look easily interpreted as longing.
-Then would Fraisier look up too and sigh. It seemed such a pity, this
-wasted blue weather.
-
-It seemed such a pity, all this wasted sweetness, he thought in
-crossing a public garden on his occasional unwilling way to a lecture.
-The quince-tree blossomed in red; under the cherry were little drifts
-of scented snow; up out of the vigorous, rested earth were flowers
-springing in mad, gay multitudes. The air was silver made air in the
-morning; and in the afternoon it was gold made air. Birds, busily
-building, busily twittered. These things did nothing to him, but the
-more they were lovely and penetrated the heart, the more to make him
-lonesome.
-
-He took himself away from their radiance without one regret for them,
-to spend his time in preference in an ugly little street where one
-could scarcely have known what season it was, where there was nothing
-to see that was beautiful but certain long, long hair. In thought,
-though, let it be said in vindication of spring's power of enthralling,
-having done up the hair in braids, and extinguished it with a hat, he
-was always, always guiding it to the contemned garden. When once it was
-in the garden, May there had become perfect.
-
-He wondered whether it could be she had become aware of his persistent
-presence. He feared she had, and as often that she had not. He imagined
-sometimes that when he looked her face was quivering with a conquered
-desire to smile. That disconcerted him a shade. Sometimes he thought
-she looked suspiciously rosy for a girl unconscious of all the world.
-Sometimes he looked away, with the idea that if he turned suddenly
-he should find her stealing a glance at him. But he dared not look
-very quickly, lest the action should be too marked; and turning with
-discreet alacrity, he could never feel sure.
-
-One day, at last, having settled in his mind that this tame conduct was
-unworthy of a man, refusing himself a second in which to think better
-of any matter, he crossed the street and charged the shop. A bell
-snapped sharply as he opened the door. It startled him to the point of
-gasping. He grew crimson, finding himself opposed in truth, as many
-a night before in dream, by Madame Finibald's sly and lowly smile,
-breathing the same faintly drug-perfumed air as the princess breathed,
-no glass screen between himself and the hair. He could have touched it,
-had he been so bold.
-
-He stammered a request for soap--scented soap. He wished himself tens
-of ten miles away, or time out of mind dead, when--wonderful! The
-maiden in the window looked frankly over her shoulder. Was it that her
-eyes brimmed with friendly laughter, or did it seem so to him because
-his head had become incapable of a true notion? His heart, so to speak,
-found its feet; he made a muddle of every sentence he launched upon,
-but his words had a voice behind them. So much he contrived to convey:
-he was very hard to please in the matter of soap. He sniffed at a
-variety of proffered tablets, whose virtues Madame Finibald, in very
-truth like a witch with a philter to sell, assiduously set forth; each
-cake he examined seemed to hold in her estimation just a little higher
-place than the foregoing. At the end of ten minutes, without positively
-losing her good-humor, she declared that he had seen all in the shop,
-she was sorry and surprised they could not suit him, they might have a
-fresh stock in on the morrow. He was leaving in clumsy embarrassment,
-empty handed, with a promise to return, when the princess lightly
-jumped from the window-place, and, sweeping the hair off her face,
-said: "There is one more sort, ma'am. I saw it up there, high, when I
-dusted. Let me get it."
-
-She fetched the steps, and in a moment had climbed and lifted down a
-box. She set it on the counter; she opened it herself and held towards
-him, with a direct glance, a packet with a red rose printed on the
-wrapper.
-
-Madame Finibald, with an exclamation, snatched it from the girl's hand,
-and began, as if here had been a little grandchild recovered to her
-old age, to speak with tenderness of its merits. The girl stood near,
-twining and untwining a lock around her finger, while she unaffectedly
-looked at the customer. Her hair came below her knees; every moment
-she had to toss it back out of her face.
-
-"Go back to your window, wicked child!" cried the old witch, suddenly,
-as if catching at a piece of gold as it was being taken out of her
-pocket. "Go back!"
-
-"I am tired of sitting!" said the little princess, twisting her
-shoulders in her frock with the prettiest peevishness. "I have sat and
-sat and sat! I have finished my story. Let me go out and get a bun. You
-know you said I could when it was noon."
-
-She caught at her hair, and, to the infinite wonder of one looking
-on, began twisting, twisting, twisting, coiling, coiling, coiling,
-driving in great skewers--while he filled his blissful pockets with
-rose-scented soap.
-
-The bell snapped in fretful reprehension for her passing out. Less than
-a minute after, it exclaimed in annoyed surprise for his.
-
-Now was he no longer made lonesome by every coquettish touch the more
-that the year put to her toilet. For the girl of the regal hair
-smiled to him, surreptitiously with her lips, but unguardedly with her
-eyes, when he came by her glass-case; while he dawdled in the window
-opposite, she communicated with him by signs no other eye could have
-perceived. Even before their acquaintance had become very old, she
-slipped out to walk in the garden, and they sat on the green seats and
-had long, foolish, youthful talks--delightful, foolish, youthful times.
-
-Her conversation took an amusing interest from the peculiarities of
-her education. She had seen and heard much in her short life in a hard
-world, where it was no one's affair to keep anything from her young
-ken--much of dark, and petty, and unpicturesque--preserving through
-all a sort of hardy innocence; and she had borrowed from a cheap
-circulating library a vast lot of fiction dealing with the supremely
-grand. Her preference in literature, however, had remained for fairy
-tales, a taste formed when it had been one of her duties to read aloud
-to certain little children of the rich. She knew them by the score. It
-was to this, perhaps, some of her remarks owed the fanciful touch that
-redeemed them from the commonness of her general conversation--a genial
-commonness, condoned to such young lips. She had a childish way of
-lending a personality to everything, that amused him more than epigram
-would have done. She ascribed intention to the wind that blew off her
-hat, and stopped to express her mind to it. She assumed consciousness
-in the bench they sat on; she wanted to take the same one, lest it
-should think they slighted it because it was rickety, for which it
-was not to blame. Every flower was to her a person. "Hush! They are
-listening!" she said, looking from the corner of her eye at a bank of
-knowing pansies. She scolded a button for coming off, as if the want
-of principle shown by it had been a thing to revolt her. She stood in
-a one-sided relation of good-fellowship with the brown birds hopping
-among the gravel, and the fishes in the pond; she spared them many
-crumbs. With homely good-heartedness she took into an amused regard all
-the family of spring--buds, blades, insects--addressing speech to them
-as if she had been a giant and they a very little people.
-
-Never can spring return without Fraisier's remembering that spring.
-It was bright; by it all the springs following have been cast in the
-shadow.
-
-The long hair was woven through and through his thoughts; but not as
-a disturbing, upheaving element. The girl made him waste a great deal
-of time, but nothing else--not the life of his heart. Because of her
-good-nature, her entire want of coquetry or perverseness, his feeling
-for her complicated itself in nowise; rather it grew simpler as it
-insensibly changed. His wonder and fine dread at feminine appurtenances
-had worn away a little with increased familiarity; he reposed on that
-fact as if it had been such an one as becoming accustomed to the noise
-of guns. He felt under delicate obligations to her for having routed
-his shyness, and not at all tormented him in any of the thousand ways
-he apprehended a feminine being would have at her command.
-
-As he was less and less in awe of her and that suspected arsenal,
-though a charming, fearful element went out of his sentiment, his
-affection perhaps grew more. She made such a good little comrade!
-Insidiously, she connected herself in his mind with future days--she
-who cared only for the day and the pleasure thereof. When he spoke of a
-thing it would be pleasant to do, a place pleasant to visit, he said,
-always unreflectingly, yet from a sincere heart: "Some day we must go
-there. Let us do such a thing some time." When he described the hills
-and ponds of home, he said what they might have done had she been
-there last summer or the years before, how they might have rowed and
-rambled. He painted the good time they might have together, in some not
-impossible, but not specified time, place, and circumstances.
-
-So the green from tender grew brilliant--grew deep--became void of
-interest to the accustomed eye, and more or less dust settled over it.
-It was manifest to all that spring was past.
-
-Then began an anxious time. Those lectures, those miserable lectures!
-Those courses, those wretched courses, which he had neglected! That
-blessed information he had spared to cull when the time was for it!
-These things seemed likely to get their revenge. When he awoke to a
-sense of his danger--very late! only when the bloom was off the year,
-when lily and early rose had gone where they could divert no mortal
-more--he could not believe that he should not, by fitting exertion,
-catch up in time at the appointed goal. He worked rabidly, with a wet
-cloth around his head. He thought not of girls in those days, I promise
-you; he recked not of bronze-gold hair!
-
-It was written that he should not be saved. He closed his school term
-pitiably conditioned.
-
-When the worst was known, at least was time to breathe, however sore
-the lungs, then his mind reverted to her. He had been man enough to
-harbor no spite towards her, accuse her of nothing. He sent her a
-message and waited at the appointed place, wondering a little, while
-he waited, at his follies of the spring. They seemed so unnecessary,
-looked back upon now. Why, in a very real, practical world like
-this one, where a man's failure to pass his exams was sure to call
-forth from his progenitor letters such as his pocket at this moment
-contained, conduct one's self as if existing in a world of lambs and
-purling streams and shepherdesses? He was one with the actual world in
-looking with astonishment and condemnation upon his own works. The sky
-above was hard, barren blue; it seemed so easy, looking back, to have
-stuck to the approved road. What had possessed him?
-
-Then she appeared. At sight of her his heart dropped its armor. She
-brought back a whiff of the sweetness of a past atmosphere. Was it
-possible he had ever been the happy boy he seemed to remember! He
-smiled up in her face with cheek-muscles stiffened by disuse, and eyes
-ringed with studious shadows. She had on a flimsy frock, printed all
-over with little flowers that seemed to him to smell good; her hair,
-where the great wad projected beyond the straw brim, was touched with
-a warm, peculiar glory. He had meant to keep himself well hardened
-against her, tell her the various things necessary in a matter-of-fact
-way, and bid her good-bye indefinitely. He felt more like crying with
-his disgraced head in her lap.
-
-He conquered his weakness.... A pretty man he made!
-
-He got out with sufficient composure and dignity what he had to say.
-He told her all that had happened, the change it made in the coming
-months. He was not going home for the holidays; he could not endure to
-see the folks. He was going into the country to spend the summer in
-hard study, to make sure of "passing" next term. He was going to the
-particular place he mentioned because he had a friend there, a fellow
-he had taken up with in the last weeks, one that had had the same bad
-luck as himself. This man's family lived there; it would not be quite
-so dreary as being alone.
-
-She chaffed and consoled him in turns. Now that the world had gone
-all wrong with him, her eyes seemed to him sweeter and softer than
-he had ever observed. What a good, kind little friend! Lord! what
-a good, crazy, light-hearted time they had had, and how pretty she
-looked to-day! What wonderful, thrice wonderful hair it was, waving and
-ringletting about her glowing summer face, coiling massively on the
-back of her head! No woman on earth had such hair!
-
-He did wish for a moment that Green, his new friend, might see her--he
-was proud of her. One night, when they had sat grinding together for
-mutual assistance, the oil giving out, Green had told him of a cousin
-of his. Fraisier had said nothing of any girl. He only wished that
-Green might see the hair of this girl whose name he had foreborne to
-speak.
-
-Good-bye, Minnie! He should be working like a slave all through the
-burning golden days--let her think of him a little. He should be very
-lonesome. When he had studied until his eyes smarted and his head
-swam, there would be nothing pleasant to do, no one pleasant to talk
-with--she might spare a moment to be sorry for him now and then. He
-should be back in the fall. Bless the beautiful and beautiful and
-beautiful hair! Good-bye, Minnie!
-
-She so little perished from his mind after their parting that
-whenever--as Green and he lay under the trees, withdrawn from the world
-and devoted to arduous studies, keeping off the insects by smoke--Green
-began talking about that cousin of his, Fraisier became half sick with
-reminiscence. He could not resist replying by talking--with the finest,
-shyest reverence always--of Minnie. There was a dreamy solace in
-talking of her to some one. She described so well, too; so unusually.
-He had a proud secret assurance that as an incident in a man's life she
-altogether eclipsed a cousin in interest.
-
-"How long is your cousin's hair?" he asked, with assumed casualness,
-once. Green stared a little, and confessed not having the slightest
-idea. Fraisier opened his arms as wide as they could go, and said,
-vaguely blushing, "The young lady I spoke of has hair as long as this!"
-
-"Come! I should like to see it!" spoke Green, in such a tone that
-Fraisier turned a deep, vexed red.
-
-He said nothing, but on the next day took his books to a different
-place, choosing to keep to himself so long as Green did not seek him
-with a suitable apology.
-
-The spot selected by the young men as a meeting ground lay at an equal
-distance between Green's home and the cottage in which Fraisier had
-taken up his summer quarters. It was on the skirts of a wood, and, by
-some accident of the land, often cool when other places were hot. The
-rolling pasture it commanded was dotted with scrubby evergreens, and
-crossed by a small brook the cow's hoofs had in some places trodden
-broad and shallow. It was colored in patches with the frequent pink of
-clover-heads, surprised here and there with the white of a long-necked,
-belated daisy.
-
-Fraisier took himself to a spot just not so far from the usual haunt
-but that Green when he came might see him.
-
-It was a fair, soft, simmering morning, promising a scorching day.
-He stretched himself under the trees and lighted a pipe--he had taken
-to a pipe in place of cigarettes since coming into the wilderness.
-He composed himself for a serious forenoon's work, deciding that it
-was much more profitable, after all, to study alone--Green was always
-digressing.
-
-The spot he had chosen was not so good, it proved, as the one he had
-left clear for Green. A path ran through the woods, just within the
-trees; there was a frequent patter of bare feet on the dust, children
-with pails passed looking for things. He waited to proceed with his
-theorem till their high piping, scattered voices had died away. It was
-not so cool, either; as a fact, it was hotter than most places. He did
-not crave the exertion of seeking a better; this was at least shady. He
-turned over on his back and closed his eyes, yielding gracefully to the
-force of circumstances.
-
-A light blow in the face, from an acorn, perhaps, roused him.
-He thought of Green, and, instantly broad awake, looked for the
-development of some practical joke.
-
-It was not Green--he saw it with a sort of disappointment. It was one
-of the berry-seeking children that had caught sight of him snoozing,
-and followed its natural instinct. A boy's grinning head was seen
-bobbing above one of the neighboring bushes. He turned from it in
-disgust and felt surlily about the grass for his pipe, about his person
-for a match--
-
-Gracious powers! what sort did the young one take him for, with this
-free persecution? Another acorn had hit him smartly on the head.
-
-"Look out, there!" he called, making a feint of rising to give chase.
-
-"Come on!" shouted the boy, gayly, from behind the bush. There was a
-burst of laughter, a flash and flutter of pink, and the boy, who turned
-out to be a girl, came precipitately towards him. She stopped just
-short of a collision, and dropped in the grass panting with laughter.
-He stared at her blankly. Every time she looked up and caught sight of
-his expression she doubled herself and fairly writhed.
-
-"He doesn't know me!--he doesn't know me!" she brought forth amid her
-convulsive giggling.
-
-"Minnie! My God! What--what have you done to yourself?" he exclaimed,
-and had no breath left.
-
-She moderated her laughter, and presented her smiling face a moment for
-him to see well what had happened. She ran her fingers over her cropped
-head, ruffling it absurdly, making the short locks stand on end.
-
-"Isn't it funny? Doesn't a person look funny at first? The rest of
-it is hanging, like a fairy horse's tail, in the window, across the
-picture of the Elixir lady. (Bad old woman! Cheat! She didn't give
-me much for it! But, Natty Fraisier, I would have taken even less,
-I did want to come so!) You poor, lonesome boy! I can stay a whole
-week--perhaps more. I have found a place in the village, just near you.
-The first child I met told me all I wanted to know. I thought it would
-have been harder. Mercy! isn't it heavenly still and sweet here, with
-hills and cows? I was never in the true country before. Mercy! isn't
-it good? Look out, you flower there--over there, you, miss! That is
-called a bee; he has a terrible stinger--oh, he is an old acquaintance?
-Go ahead, then, and give him a nice swing, and honey for his tea. Oh,
-Natty, I am so glad! Aren't you glad?"
-
-He choked and cleared his throat. No, without that voice, never in
-the world would he have known her. Before him seemed to be a common
-little street-boy who had run off in a girl's new pink dress and shiny
-shoes--an unknown boy whose features had something painfully familiar.
-Strange! He remembered Minnie's face as possessing a certain harmony
-in its lines, however childish and trivial they were; this terrible
-little impostor, though not ill favored, was broad of jaw and narrow
-of forehead; his eyes even were not the same, but smaller and nearer
-together, while the mouth was larger--its very proneness to laughter
-increased its commonness. And that ridiculous hair--literally chopped
-off by an unskilled hand and twisted here and there with unpractised
-tongs! It was so thick, it had no more light or lustre than a
-hearth-brush.
-
-Her face sobered ever so little as she looked at him. "What is the
-matter? Poor dear! you haven't got over those exams. But I won't
-bother, you know, and take up all your time; I have learned better.
-I won't interfere with any work, I promise, Natty. See me swear? On
-this algebra! Only, before you begin and when you have done each day,
-we will go for walks and rows. I saw a boat on the pond. We will have
-lunch on the grass, and make a fire with sticks we pick up. Look! you
-put three long sticks like that and hang the kettle in the middle. We
-will do all those things we used to plan when we never much thought
-there would be a chance. You poor, lonesome boy, have you been having
-a horrid time? We will make up for it now. Natty, you don't care about
-the _hair_, do you? You needn't. You know, I had got mortally sick of
-sitting in that window. I could not have stood it a day longer. When
-a fly buzzed on the pane I wanted to scream. Again and again I have
-come near putting my foot through the glass at one of the gaping
-faces, then jumping down and catching the old woman while she told lies
-about my having used her Elixir faithfully--never touched a drop!--and
-dancing her up and down all around the room until she dropped. I
-shall go back to taking care of little children now, as I did before
-she found me. I do love children! And in that business, I don't mind
-telling you, I shall do better without all that hair. No matter how
-tight I did it up, some one was always grumbling that it made too
-much show. You mustn't care a bit about the hair, Natty; I gave it up
-without a twinge. I cut it off with my own hands. You have no idea how
-much comfortabler this is in hot weather. My head feels so light! I can
-dip it in the water any minute. I do love it like this!"
-
-She ran her hands through her hair again, ruffling it still more
-fantastically. Fraisier winced. He was sick beyond calculating the
-degree. "Oh, my poor girl!" he contrived at last to say.
-
-She looked at him more closely than before in her overrunning joy,
-and her face fell a little. No doubt she had seen herself in mirrors
-since her alteration, but not in a real mirror until she saw herself
-reflected in his very pale face. She smiled still, but a little
-foolishly; then no more, and stopped chatting. It was as if a stone
-had been set to seal up a spring--a large stone laid upon her bubbling
-heart. There was a silence.
-
-He saw that she must be seeing what he could not keep out of his face.
-He could not help it; he could get no control over his feelings, over
-his expression. He was not sure he cared to--he did not try. He was at
-sea: he did not know what he felt, what he did not feel. The bottom
-seemed to have dropped out of his heart, out of the world--out of
-something, everything. He knew not! He only knew he was sick--sick, and
-incapable of speech, of action, of reflection.
-
-"You can't stay here, child," he heard some one saying, in a
-matter-of-fact, superficial voice. "Don't you see, yourself, that you
-can't? For your own sake, I mean. It would never do, Minnie. You must
-understand that. You don't know what a thing a small country village
-like this is, for gossip and slanderous tongues. I couldn't let you
-injure yourself so, don't you see?"
-
-"It wouldn't be proper?" she inquired, faintly.
-
-"No, Minnie; no, it wouldn't--at all. Don't you see it?"
-
-She got to her feet, full as pale as he now.
-
-"All right," she said, and after a few mechanical steps, paused a
-moment, looking down, biting her finger--lost in thought, or waiting
-for something to happen, for him to say something further.
-
-He could not speak--he could not make himself speak.
-
-"All right," she said again, very distinctly, and turned to go without
-another word.
-
-"Minnie! Minnie!" he faltered, and had instinctively cast himself
-after her. His outstretched hand almost touched her pink draperies.
-She turned on him fiercely, whisking herself out of reach. He was
-confronted for a second by a little angry street-boy face, but with
-the gathered experience and woe of half a race in the eyes. "Let me
-alone! Don't dare to touch me! Nathaniel Fraisier, I hate you!"
-
-She began desperately to run. He saw her clutch her poor little ruined
-head, and heard her cry out, breaking into sobs: "Oh, my hair! Oh, my
-hair!"
-
-He dropped in the grass, face downward, and pressed his hands over his
-ears, trembling. It all seemed so strange, so out of proportion.
-
-In the late afternoon of that same hot day the crabbed little bell on
-Madame Finibald's door snapped to let in a tired, dusty youth, whose
-dejected face was so flushed, one's thought at sight of him turned
-at once on sunstroke. He leaned wearily over the counter and asked a
-few questions, at which madame's liver seemed so shaken she could not
-keep a hold on her good manners. At the height of her voice she began
-berating all the world, and one absent person. Fraisier tried to calm
-her, with vague, soothing motions of his hands patting down the air.
-When she subsided enough for him to be heard, he pointed to a long
-tail of shining hair in the window, and spoke again, growing redder,
-if possible, than before--so red that his eyes watered, and he had to
-shade them a moment, leaning his elbows on the counter. She unhitched
-the hair, shaking it brutally. He put out his hands in remonstrance.
-She flung it down before him with a forbidding proposition and a deep
-snort of malice. Meekly he emptied his purse on the counter, unfolding
-the bills, spreading out the silver and lucky pieces to count,
-reserving only for himself a crumpled ticket.
-
-She watched him with gleeful, avaricious eyes. After computation, he
-rose without breath of argument and went down the street to pawn his
-watch and studs and cigarette-case, returning solvent.
-
-He left with a rather unsightly parcel in his hand; the cover was burst
-in more than one place. Madame Finibald had not been so particular
-as she sometimes was in the selection of her wrapping-paper. He had
-no overcoat and no pocket large enough to put his prize in; he was
-forced to hold it, conscious how it was heavy and soft and its contents
-gleamed through the holes.
-
-He got home at dark, reporting to his landlady with his back to the
-light. He wanted nothing to eat: there were lamps and voices in the
-dining-room. He could not go to bed, worn out as he was: on the porch
-below his window was singing and picking of strings.
-
-He went forth into the fields. At last, beyond all sounds but the
-summer's own, he sank on the grass. He did not look up once at the
-stars, but lay sprawling with his forehead on his crossed arms, and
-let his heart torture itself at its own good leisure. He drank deeper
-and deeper of its dark bitterness, forcing himself recklessly to it,
-reaching a sort of desperate drunkenness. It seemed to his inexperience
-there could be nothing worse at any time in this life to taste.
-
-He woke long hours afterwards, wondering a little at first, feeling
-somewhat stiff. The air was warm and still, tremulous with
-crickets--thrilled through with the shaken baubles of the summer's
-myriad little jesters. In his sleep he had rolled over; his face was
-to heaven. The sky was faint with starlight; the Milky Way was a road
-of diamond sand; the great constellations had hung themselves with
-solemn jewels; down near the rim of the world watched far-spaced large
-earnest beacon-lights--but above, the tiniest irresponsible stars
-twinkled in and out, like shining ants in ant-hills. He looked, almost
-wondering why his eyes felt so queer--sore besides heavy; why his
-breast felt so heavy. He rose sitting; he was on a hillock. Like an
-opaque reproduction of the transparent, lightsome sky looked the ground
-about him, which the scythe had this season respected; it was dark
-dotted with daisies. He rubbed his aching head a little, then lay back
-again, the grass shooting coolly up along his cheeks. After the sound,
-dreamless sleep of utter exhaustion from which he had waked, because he
-had drained it to satisfaction, his head was numbed, but, the little
-it worked, clear in its working; his heart was sore, but quieted.
-Something had changed; all wore another aspect; all seemed farther
-removed. Hours had gone by already, a month would go--a year--fifteen
-years. This would be lived out of memory. If it is realized that a
-thing must cease, has it not begun to die already? At the first one
-must be patient, and take suffering as a matter of course. He stretched
-his limbs wearily, not entirely deceived by himself, nor unaware of
-depths of heartache under this film of philosophy that had scummed them
-over in sleep. He drew his hot palms over the grass; his hand came upon
-the parcel that he had not dared to leave behind nor to open, that he
-never would have the strength to open--and his philosophy was severely
-shaken. His heart was near bursting out afresh; he laid his face on the
-wretched, soft, dead little bundle, and agonized.
-
-Then he revolted against this suffering that seemed to him undeserved,
-disproportionate. He was not a bad fellow; looking into his heart,
-he could declare truthfully that it was not in him to willingly harm
-anything--give any one pain. Why should he feel so endlessly mean, so
-endlessly miserable? He appealed to Minnie, his reasonable Minnie of
-old, against this state of things. He defended himself to her; she
-defended him to himself. When all was said, he had at no time done
-anything to blame, had that day said nothing that was not wise and for
-the best, that he would not in like case be forced to say over again.
-He had been taken unawares; he had not expressed himself with tact--he
-had been fatally slow. The fact remained that the girl could not have
-stayed by him, setting the whole country-side agog. But if his heart
-still refused to be at peace about this matter, let it be assured he
-meant to seek till he found the girl; it must be easy enough to find
-her, though he had failed that day. Alas! poor little forlorn head,
-shorn of its great gleaming beauty--poor little discrowned head, at
-this hour full of what thoughts, God knew! He would make all things
-right to her; he was extravagantly ready to pay any price; he was
-lavish of his future, free of all the gods gave him to give. At the
-same time that he made these protestations to himself and to her, and
-he was sincere in making them, he knew that Minnie would never look at
-him again--he knew that she had understood how he was changed with the
-change in her; it was beyond his governing, but she must be forgiven
-for not forgiving it. And looking into his man's heart, he wondered at
-the mystery of it.
-
-In that hour of being honest, after revolting at it, reasoning about
-it, trying to sophisticate it away, he came back always to a hopeless
-contemplation of it as a simple fact, not to be done away with. In
-the face of it he might clear himself of all blame, perhaps, but he
-remained humiliated and full of a vague pity. As he lay in the grass
-so, plucking heedlessly in the dark at the little tufts, emptied of all
-pride under the lofty stars, a dreamy mood followed upon what degree
-of success he had in suppressing feelings he was determined not to
-endure, so did they hurt! His thoughts in search of soothing travelled
-back to days before last spring, when he could hardly have conceived
-what he had this night been suffering. Peaceful period, but without
-great charm, he decided, loyal to his altered taste. He thought of
-the past spring, the soft awakening all without and within a man--the
-tender, vast burgeoning, fluttering, shimmering, outreaching! He judged
-it sadly from a midsummer night. Not all were flowers that put forth in
-that mad amenity of nature; no, not all flowers.
-
-And in connection with all that freshness and fragrance and beauty of
-spring, he thought unavoidably of what had seemed to his new-quickened
-heart its very expression, its chiefest adornment--the gentle order
-he loved in so general and devoted a way. His conjuring head filled
-with charming phantoms, pathetic to his sense at this juncture; they
-passed, exquisite pageant, leaving as if a perfume of themselves
-through the halls of his mind, not one little grace, one foolish trick,
-one dainty manner of being, lost on his worshipping sensibility:
-silver laughter--odors of violets--sunny loose hairs and white
-hand tucking them behind the ear--pretty feet tiptoeing across the
-street in bad weather--pouted lips cooing to a baby, or quaintly
-attempting its own language to a bird--languid attitudes--belts
-of a span--caprices--teasing humors--tenderness--pity for small
-creatures--long lashes blinking a tear--queenly bearing--rods of
-lily held over bowing heads with such assurance of power as never a
-sceptre--aye, power greater than any emperor's, founded, dear God--upon
-what? at the mercy--of what? And he yearned and grieved over them, poor
-youth, as if he had been their maker.
-
-
-
-
-PAULA IN ITALY
-
-
-On his way down-stairs Prospero came upon the _padrona di casa_.
-
-She stood at the door of the first floor, which he had supposed
-untenanted, the windows on the street being always dark. She looked
-pleased, anxious, and full of business.
-
-"Just step in for a moment, signorino," she said, "and tell me what it
-seems to you."
-
-The young man followed her. The windows of the apartment were wide
-open--most likely to let in the heat, for to lean forth beyond the
-chill boundary of the stone walls was like dipping into a warm bath.
-The long, old, neatly darned lace curtains waved gently in the April
-air. The stone floors had been sprinkled; a pleasant freshness arose
-from them. Everything had an air of having just been gone over with a
-damp dust-cloth; everything that could be furbished shone to the utmost
-of its capacity.
-
-The little woman led Prospero into the large _sala_, from which,
-through several open doors, one got glimpses of other airy chambers.
-The great height of the ceiling--increased to illusion by the cunning
-of the fresco, which professed to open into the sky itself, and show
-a flight of rosy cupids tumbling among the clouds--had the effect of
-dwarfing the furniture, even the gigantic vases under their shining
-bells. The seats were placed about in social groups; in the embrasure
-of the balcony window stood a small table supporting a coral-colored
-coffee service, lately placed between two low chairs, with a view to
-spreading about suggestions of cosiness--the joys of intimate life.
-
-"I see that you are expecting a tenant," said Prospero.
-
-"So it is indeed; a great lady--a foreigner," replied the _padrona_,
-under her breath. "Just see, signorino, what you make of this name."
-While she felt in her pocket she went on: "It is Dottor Segati sends
-her to me. Oh, he has sent me families before when there was a patient
-among them; and this apartment has always given satisfaction; that I
-can say with my hand upon my conscience. There--can you read it? I can
-tell the letters, but I can't make the sound. One ought to have another
-tongue on purpose for these foreign names."
-
-Prospero studied a second, then pronounced, clearly, "Gräfin Paula von
-Schattenort."
-
-"_Gräfin_ means Countess," said the landlady. "The doctor told me that
-she is a Countess; but whether Danish or Swedish or Hollandish I don't
-remember. For me all those countries are the same. Schattenort, you
-call it? What would that be in Italian?"
-
-Prospero laughed. "It stays as it is, dear lady. Is this Countess
-young, do you know?" he went on, looking again at the name on the
-paper he still held. "Is she coming here for her health?"
-
-"I don't know anything beyond the fact that the doctor engages the
-rooms for her, and I can rely upon him. Oh, he has sent me families
-before, you know, who have always been perfectly satisfied with me, and
-I with them. You can see yourself that the quarters are such that even
-a Countess might find herself well in them--"
-
-"Yes, truly," replied Prospero, agreeably. "She would be hard to please
-if she were not content. Well, if you allow me now, I go. Have you
-perhaps a commission of any sort for me? I shall do myself a pleasure
-in serving you."
-
-"Too good--much too good. If you would just say the name over--"
-
-"Von Schattenort."
-
-"What it is to have a memory! What a thing is education! Not but
-that also I can make myself understood in the French tongue.
-Schattenort--Schattenort. I should not like to _scomparire_, you will
-understand, at the very first meeting. But if I forget, I will simply
-say _Signora Contessa_. Only one likes to be able to tell friends whom
-one has got in the house."
-
-Prospero, late already, was hurrying down the stairs, his music under
-his arm; at the foot he was forced to stop. He took off his hat, and
-leaned against the wall to let the ladies pass.
-
-The gray-haired gentleman talking unpractised French he knew to be
-Dottor Segati. He fixed upon Paula von Schattenort without a second's
-hesitation; of the two ladies, only the one in the hat and feather
-could, in his conception of possibility, be she. He was half-conscious
-as she passed him on her upward way of a faint pang of disappointment.
-The name had suggested to his imagination something tall and frail,
-delicate yet imposing, exceedingly, luminously blond, with eyes of a
-corn-flower blue. The magic of the name was defeated.
-
-He bethought him how late he would be, and without turning his head for
-a second look, or giving another thought to the arrivals, slipped past
-the two maids, who stood in the doorway talking in a language unknown
-to him, while the Countess's man handed them bundles from the carriages
-drawn up to the door.
-
-Paula, on entering the apartment, let her little gloved hands drop at
-her sides, and looking around with wide, quick eyes, gave a long sigh
-of pleasure.
-
-"Here I can breathe--here I can breathe indeed!" she said to her
-companion, in their Northern tongue; then turning to the doctor, she
-assured him in French that she found it charming, as she had found
-everything in Italy--that she thanked him for his goodness. The doctor
-and the landlady both watched her with a half smile and slightly raised
-eyebrows as she walked quickly through the rooms, exclaiming at every
-window with delight at sight of the fawn-colored, warm-looking river
-flowing below and flashing back the sunshine, and the low hills clothed
-in their early green.
-
-Her companion followed her with an unusual solemn dignity of manner,
-intended to counterbalance Paula's unaccustomed vivacity, and give the
-people of the house, if possible, an adequate impression of the two as
-a whole.
-
-"Oh, look--look, Cousin Veronika!" exclaimed the younger woman from the
-balcony, over the parapet of which she had been leaning venturously
-far--"look at that dear old bridge; it is the Jeweller's Bridge; I
-recognize it. _N'est-ce pas, cher docteur?_ Oh, what a sky! But have
-you any patients at all in this city, doctor? Is it possible to be ill
-here? Do persons die? Of what? I will never believe it!"
-
-"My dear lady," said the gray doctor, his kindly face lighting as if
-with the reflection of her childish excitement, "will you be advised by
-me? Will you sit down on this commodious divan and rest a little, while
-you take what the signora has brought for you--this little glass of our
-white _vin santo_? It will do you good. You must be tired, very tired."
-
-"Oh no! no, doctor! It is like magic. I do not understand it. I feel
-like another. I shall not be tired here, ever. You must come and see
-me every day indeed, but not as a doctor--as my good, good friend.
-Tell me, is it still standing, the house where Dante lived? Have you a
-book--I mean, could you advise me a book--in which there is everything
-of the story about him and Beatrice? It must be sweet to think of when
-one is in their city."
-
-"I will do myself the pleasure of sending you the _Vita Nova_," he
-said; then, solicitously, "but accommodate yourself, my dearest lady,
-and drink this--"
-
-"_Vita Nova?_ Does that mean new life? New life!" she said, as if to
-herself, suddenly half stretching her arms up in the air and smiling in
-indeterminate happiness at the ceiling, whereon the shining river cast
-a restless, quivering brightness. "Yes, send it me; I want to read it.
-I will drink this to please you, signor, but not that I am tired. Here
-is to New Life!"
-
-She touched her glass to the doctor's and Veronika's, and emptied it
-at an eager draught. Veronika watched her in surprised displeasure,
-sipping her own wine staidly and decorously. It warmed her very heart
-to see Paula merry, only she thought it unbecoming to behave in the
-presence of strangers as if one were a person of no importance.
-
-Her good-humor returned as soon as the doctor and the _padrona_
-had excused themselves. When they were alone she seized Paula
-unceremoniously by the wrists and forced her back into an arm-chair;
-then lifted her feet, and with much decision placed them upon a
-footstool. "Now you don't stir," she said, shaking her finger in
-Paula's face.
-
-"But, cousin, it is so different," pleaded Paula. "I feel no more
-as I do at home, than this mild, heavenly air is like our joyless
-atmosphere. Are your eyes open, Cousin Veronika? Do you perceive the
-things about you--or is it all a dream of my own? It seemed to me as we
-drove from the station that we had arrived in an enchanted place."
-
-"It's just a city," murmured Veronika.
-
-"Those sombre palaces we passed, how they make the spring-time in the
-sky above them more lightsome, more warm! And those flowers banked up
-for sale against that black stone wall, could you see what they were?
-They seemed to me all new sorts--marvellous. Have you noticed how happy
-every one looks in Italy, even the beggars sitting in the sun? And what
-beautiful faces one sees--"
-
-She stopped and mused, gazing ahead in silence for a few moments; then
-went on aloud: "Yes--beautiful faces, like pictures. Did you see the
-young man whom we met on the stairs? Not? Veronika, for what have you
-eyes? The light just there was a little dim, but I saw him perfectly.
-I passed him slowly on purpose--he leaned against the wall to let us
-go by him. He had wavy hair, longer than is usual, falling over his
-forehead, and soft brown eyes like an animal's. I am sure one sees such
-eyes only in Italy, half asleep, yet deeply intelligent, that when you
-look in them you think a thousand things--"
-
-"You certainly took in a great deal at a glance," said Veronika.
-
-"Oh, I could tell you much else," laughed Paula; "beside that he wore a
-pink in his button-hole and carried a roll of music."
-
-"Veronika," she said, after a pause, jumping up from her chair and
-walking about excitedly as before, "we must be very happy here. We must
-begin at once. Think how much time we have lost--all our years up to
-this day. Now we must really enjoy ourselves, live--love!" she added,
-recklessly, with light in her eyes.
-
-Veronika, kneeling over an open satchel, paused in her task to look
-over her spectacles with a vaguely shocked air, as if something immoral
-had been said.
-
-"This seems like the opening chapter in a lovely story-book that
-becomes more interesting with every page," said Paula, dropping
-on her knees and crushing her cheek to Veronika's gray hair, with
-an expansiveness that took this lady aback. "I have the happiest
-presentiments! Ah, Veronika, there was once a woman who said that
-happiness is to be young, beloved, and in Italy!"
-
-"Unless you keep quiet and rest," said Veronika, "you will be ill, and
-that is as far as _you_ will get--"
-
-Paula stared a second in wonder at Veronika's impatience; then she
-reflected that her cousin was old and could not understand. "Poor
-Veronika!" she thought, with a sympathetic shake of the head, "_she_
-can never have but Italy!"
-
-Like a good child, she went back to her chair, but before settling down
-in it she pushed it to the balcony window; then she sat with her eyes
-fixed upon San Miniato.
-
-Dr. Segati came the next day, early. He found Paula pale and infinitely
-tired, but wearing a contented face. She sat in the balcony window,
-closed to-day, with a cushion behind her shoulders; flowers stood in
-the water near her--a delight to the eyes, wonderful wind-flowers,
-white and pink, purple, scarlet, pale violet. She rose to meet the
-doctor, and gave him the childish smile that had won his heart to her
-the day before.
-
-She pointed to the book she held. "It came last night. I thank you. I
-am trying to read it, you see. But I do not know enough. I can make
-only just a little sense here and there, where it resembles French. Oh,
-I like it all the same--very much. The title is beautiful--_Vita Nova_!"
-
-"Tell her she must not read, doctor," said Veronika. "It is bad for
-her. She has been tiring herself over the book."
-
-The doctor listened politely, an intelligent eye fixed on Veronika's,
-and made no objection to what she said. She had always after that half
-an idea that he understood her.
-
-"I had the cook sent in," said Paula, with a brightening face. "The
-native cook whom the _padrona_ was so good as to engage for me. I asked
-her about some passages. She could read them easily--how I envied
-her!--but she could not make them clear to me, though she seemed to do
-her best."
-
-The doctor laughed amusedly, and took a seat beside her. "What an eager
-little lady! Certainly that is the way to learn. But why this hurry?
-The great object first is to become robust. Oh, this air will do it! I
-have no fear. And how did you sleep?"
-
-Paula blushed as if caught in fault. "I don't know why it should
-be I lay awake so much. My old doctor at home (I bless him for his
-inspiration of sending me here!) has written you about me, I suppose. I
-dare say you know I cough sometimes in the night. Doctor," she asked,
-abruptly, "who lives above us?"
-
-He looked interrogatively at the ceiling, and shook his head.
-
-"Oh, I am so sorry you do not happen to know. It is a great musician,
-and I feel much gratitude towards him. I was becoming nervous with
-lying awake--I was on the point of calling my poor cousin--when some
-one began playing on the piano in the room above me. Sweetly, very
-sweetly. I could hear it just distinctly enough. It was a joy. I lay
-awake, but it soothed me more than sleep."
-
-"I seem to remember that there is a music-master living in the house,"
-said the doctor. "I will beg the _padrona_ to speak to him. He should
-not play in the night."
-
-"Not at all," exclaimed Paula, with a warmth he could not expect.
-"Please, I want him to play. I shall be grieved if you say anything to
-prevent him. It does not keep me awake. If I were sleepy I could not
-hear it."
-
-The doctor prolonged his visit far into the forenoon. At the first
-movement he made to go, Paula said, pleadingly: "Oh, not yet. I
-entertain myself so willingly with you!" And he stayed.
-
-He was interested, in the woman as well as in the case. She was
-different from his other aristocratic patients. She was of a type new
-to him; without appearing to, he studied her face as she spoke, and
-from it, and from frequent allusions she dropped, he built up a theory
-of her past.
-
-He divined that she was older than she looked. It was, he resolved,
-the childlike glance and smile, the voice as of shyness overcome, her
-artlessness, her continually outcropping ignorance of the world, her
-immature mind perhaps, that gave the impression of youthfulness one at
-first received from her. If one looked well, she had even already a
-sad little beginning of faded appearance. Her face was a trifle broad,
-and the high cheek-bones were commencing slightly to accuse themselves,
-as they say in French. The charm of her countenance, to such as felt
-it, lay in her eyes: they were unsophisticated, hopeful, interested,
-idealizing eyes. Vanity, it must be pityingly related, had taught her
-nothing. Her blond hair, dull and fine and soft--a large treasure
-that would have made the boast of many another woman--was drawn away
-rigorously from her forehead, braided, and wound compactly against the
-back of her head, like a school-girl's.
-
-He noticed with amused wonder how unpretending--nay, provincial,
-homely, for persons of rank and fortune--was the _mise_ of the two
-women. Fashion by them was misconstrued, or else despised. He did
-not incline to the latter interpretation of their plainness; he
-rather laid to a touching innocence of the mode's dictates Mamsell
-Veronika's pelerine and the black lace tabs on the sides of her head;
-the antiquated cut of Paula's deep violet gown, the little black silk
-mitts that covered her pale pretty hands to the point where her rings
-began. These were numerous rather than rich, and gave the impression
-of being heirlooms--things worn for a memory: brilliants mounted in
-darkening silver, enamels, carnelians; one showed a pale gleam of human
-hair.
-
-Paula had never spoken so much about herself to any one as she did to
-the doctor. Her loquacity was an effect of her unreasoning instinct
-that in this new place everything was good to her, every influence
-favorable. She let herself go in a way that would have seemed out of
-her nature at home.
-
-All she had ever read in the long, melancholy winter evenings at
-Schattenort, of poetry or romance, came back to her mind in essence,
-drawn to the surface by an inexplicable magic. Her conversation in this
-mental excitement teemed with allusions and modest flowers of speech
-that almost surprised herself, and gave her a strange delight. She felt
-as she were some one she had some time read of.
-
-"Oh, we will make you well, quite well, soon," said the doctor,
-cheerily, on taking his leave. "But you must promise to be very good,
-very prudent."
-
-He gave his directions with a light air, but as he turned from the door
-a shadow settled upon his kindly old face.
-
-In his breast-pocket lay folded the letter his colleague, Paula's
-former doctor, had written him. The consciousness of what was said in
-it gave rise in his heart to a tender, grateful thought of his own
-children--grown-up daughters, fair and healthy, happily established in
-life.
-
-Paula had hoped to go for a drive that day, but a light rain fell, and
-she could only watch the turbid stream outside through the glistening
-window-pane. She sat with her forehead leaning against it, her book in
-her lap. Now and then she opened this and let her eyes wander over the
-lines, without trying to understand, just for a pleasure she found in
-its being Italian too.
-
-She had prevailed upon Veronika to go out for a walk, so that she might
-amuse her with an account of what there was to see.
-
-Towards evening the clouds broke. She saw the red reflection of the
-sunset on the river. Tempted, she opened the balcony door; a smell of
-damp stone came gratefully to her nostrils. She slipped out and leaned
-over the cool balusters, and looked up and down the empty gleaming
-street. The hills were as if washed with wine; the air was sparkling.
-She heard a footstep; she hoped it might be Veronika's. She looked. But
-it was not a woman. She recognized the young man who had been on the
-stairs when she arrived. He did not look up. She leaned over to see
-him disappear in the _portone_ below. Then, swiftly, she came in-doors
-and stopped in the middle of the floor. She listened intently. In a
-few moments she thought to hear, faintly, faintly, footsteps in the
-room above. She clasped her hands silently, saying to herself with
-unaccountable excitement: "I knew it already. I knew it well."
-
-Late in the night again she heard music. She had been listening for
-it a long time. Night to her was often tediously long. Often she spent
-many hours staring at the square of paler darkness, star-bestrewn, the
-window made. At a certain pitch of nervousness, soon reached when the
-city had become quiet and the stillness of the bedroom was full of
-mysterious sounds, she always thought of a dear sister she had lost,
-rehearsing old sad scenes vivid in her brain as if they had been lived
-through but yesterday. Her own physical discomfort increased as she
-thought of that other girl's long-drawn-out suffering. It seemed to her
-that already she could not breathe; her body was damp with sweat of
-fear. "It is all useless!" she groaned, tossing wretchedly. "I too--I
-too am going that way!" Then she prayed diligently, and looked out up
-at the stars with a return of tranquillity, hoping steadfastly in a
-beautiful world beyond them.
-
-But on the night in question she lay patiently and happily watchful.
-And late in the night again she heard music. No very definite melody
-was played; it was as if skilful hands were dreamily straying over
-the keys, unravelling a little tangled skein of musical impression,
-thinking aloud. The tune wandered and flitted like a butterfly over
-a summer garden. Paula's thought climbed upward and entered the
-musician's chamber. She saw him clearly, leaning back, looking upward,
-swaying slightly. She took joy in the symmetry of his dark Italian
-face. She pictured him intensely, and held her breath gazing. Then she
-tried to build up his surroundings; she adorned his room poetically.
-
-Satisfied at last, her imagination folded its wings and dropped back
-into its nest. She merely listened, and let herself be comforted;
-accepted passively what dreams the music imposed. It was as if she and
-another were walking in a moonless starry night along a quiet village
-road; and the dewy flowers in the stilly little gardens skirting the
-way were giving forth perfume in the warm dark. Then it was as if
-another and she were in a boat with drooping sail, becalmed, drifting
-slowly. The moon was behind a great cloud wonderfully silvered on the
-ravelled edges; the sea at the horizon was a streak of pure light. The
-other had laid her on velvet cushions and covered her with a cloak, was
-playing and singing softly to her. They hoped the wind would not rise.
-Drifting--drifting. And she slept.
-
-In the gayest mood next day she showed the doctor a little package of
-letters to different persons in the city, but said that she was not
-ready yet to let these distinguished ones know of her arrival; she must
-first attend to various important things. He derived from her words
-that she wished to make her establishment more elegant, and became
-gruff and severe when she asked him to procure for her the address of
-the most fashionable mantua--maker. She almost cried when he forbade
-the expense of any precious energy on worldly vanities, but was half
-consoled by his promise soon to make her well enough to employ a master
-in the art of playing the guitar.
-
-He prescribed a daily drive in the sunniest hour. Paula came back from
-her first excursion with flushed cheeks. Veronika grumbled: "I will
-tell the doctor, and he will forbid your going out at all. It is not to
-kneel in damp churches will help you. You might as well take up your
-abode in the cellar."
-
-"Don't scold me," said Paula, gently. "I had to thank God."
-
-Towards sunset she seated herself on the balcony wrapped in fleecy
-white, and looked down the street towards the Jeweller's Bridge. She
-saw Prospero come. But he did not look up. That night again she heard
-him play.
-
-Many times she sat on the balcony and saw Prospero coming. Sometimes he
-looked up, but oftener he passed into the house unaware of a Countess
-gazing after him from above.
-
-Some nights he did not play; those were restless, disappointed nights
-for her.
-
-Once or twice she met him on the stairs as she was going to her
-carriage; he glanced at her with an unimpressed eye, then looked
-elsewhere, standing against the wall, hat in hand.
-
-Occasionally she saw him in the street, but he seemed never to see her.
-A vague heartache grew out of those occasions.
-
-The Italian spring deepened in warmth and color; the air had a
-fragrance, some days, as of lilacs; other days, more penetrating, as of
-hyacinths. The little hills in the midst of which Florence lies took
-on dewy morning hues of the opal, changing evening tints of the dark
-dove's neck. The pure noon light made the statues in the King's Garden,
-where Paula walked sometimes, look dazzlingly white against the sombre
-walls of clipped laurel. The open country now was full of blossoming
-fruit trees; Paula often begged Veronika to alight from the carriage
-and gather for her the flowers she saw shining in the grass--primroses
-and violets, tulips, narcissi, fleurs-de-lis. She brought home immense
-nosegays, which she spent long minutes breathing; this perfume of Italy
-went to her brain.
-
-At sunset once a red flower lay by chance on the rail of the balcony,
-just where a movement of her arm would brush it off; it would drop in
-the street. A bold thought crossed her mind. But that evening Prospero
-did not come at the usual hour. She sat outside, trembling slightly as
-the dusk closed around her and the dew fell; then Veronika, with shrill
-cries of surprise and blame, came to fetch her in. She felt guilty and
-ashamed, and did not protest. She spent the evening on the divan, with
-her face to the wall, crying softly with a vast invincible melancholy,
-a sense of forlornness and failure, giving no explanation of her humor.
-
-She was kept in-doors for many days after that. Only she insisted upon
-being folded in a fur and seated on the balcony at a certain hour
-every afternoon. The beggar-woman stationed at the street corner with
-a basket on her knees got used to seeing the sick _forestiera_ appear,
-who always threw her a bit of silver, and gave her a faint little
-smile.
-
-Veronika suffered from Paula's silence and depression. She went about
-with two deep lines constantly between her updrawn brows. Her heart
-misgave her; her inability to communicate with the doctor and those
-around her became a gnawing despair. She formed a habit, which never
-left her after, of talking audibly to herself. She gave up the effort
-to hold cheerful conversation with Paula, and simply tried to preserve
-in her presence an unconcerned attitude. She secretly yearned to be at
-home. She felt an unappeasable animosity towards this Italy, that had
-seemed to do her Paula so much good, only to make her worse. She began
-to hate everything Italian.
-
-Paula herself sat by the window watching the hills opposite with an
-absent face. Now and then she rose to take a few desultory steps about
-the large room, touching the things, passing her hand over the flowers,
-making the guitar-strings give forth a murmur as she brushed them; she
-went back to her chair and closed her eyes, tired out.
-
-Once a friend was walking at Prospero's side. They were talking. As
-they approached, the friend looked up, and evidently asked a question
-of Prospero, who looked up too: she thought his lips framed her name.
-Her heart leaped; she drew back, faint, and felt foolish at feeling
-such pleasure. She waited more eagerly than usual that night to
-hear him; it seemed the music must have a special message for her.
-Silence--utter, atrocious. The night seemed unending.
-
-The doctor wondered next day what spring had broken within her. She
-showed so little interest in anything; she was fretful as he had never
-seen her before. He scarcely knew how to conduct himself to avoid
-irritating her. At a loss, he picked up the little tome of _Vita Nova_,
-that always lay on the table at her side, and inquired of her progress
-in it.
-
-"Oh, put it away!" she said, tears springing to her eyes. "Put it away!
-I cannot suffer it. That title exasperates me; it works upon my nerves.
-Doctor, doctor, I shall never be well again!" and she poured forth a
-long complaint.
-
-[Illustration: "PAULA HERSELF SAT BY THE WINDOW"]
-
-He feigned to make light of her fears; he comforted her. Casting about
-in his mind for things to say that should divert, interest her in her
-gray mood, he found this, which brought the sudden color to her face:
-
-"Did you not once ask me who lived in the apartment above? I know now.
-I will not take the credit of having applied myself to discover just on
-that hint of curiosity from you; I confess hearing it by chance. Your
-neighbor is the young _maestro_ Prospero C----, celebrated in his way.
-He has written an opera, to be produced for the first time precisely
-to-night. Those who know promise great things for it--"
-
-She had leaned forward, listening thirstily. The doctor could
-congratulate himself.
-
-When Veronika went to the door with him, he turned upon her suddenly,
-and asked, almost violently: "Why did you wait so long? Why did you not
-bring her to this climate before?"
-
-She looked at him in a puzzled way, and in her turn said something he
-could not understand.
-
-He appeared for a moment as if he meant to shake her, but shrugged his
-shoulders and brusquely left.
-
-Some who were present at the first night of "Parisina" remember well
-how when the curtain dropped on the first act and they looked about to
-discover whom they should salute, their attention was arrested by the
-strange apparition in one of the second-tier boxes. There, in a crimson
-velvet chair, sat very upright an unknown lady in a gown such as no
-one nowadays wears--a gown of cloth of gold, that might have figured
-at a court ball perhaps a century earlier. An ermine-lined mantle half
-covered her arms and neck, dainty thin and white as wax, and half
-extinguished the gleam of her heavy jewels. A wreath of roses was
-twined in her pale hair, that might have made one laugh in its _démodé_
-pretentiousness but that one divined the lady to be a foreigner from
-some Northern country, where perhaps it is still customary to adorn
-the hair with a garland. She held her fan like a sceptre, her fingers
-stiffly closed on the pearl sticks. A mass of roses lay in her lap.
-She turned a colorless face upon the stage; her eyes were wide and
-glassy, and fixed as a somnambulist's.
-
-On the opposite side of the box, less clearly defined against the
-darkness, sat an elderly, soberly clad lady, whose face expressed
-a degree of uneasiness, misery, and fear almost pitiful--if not
-comical--to behold. She made no pretence of interest in the stage or
-the gleaming galleries, but watched her golden-haired companion with an
-unswerving, frightened eye.
-
-No one knew who these were, though many took pains to discover.
-
-Through the second act the lady in gold listened breathlessly, as if
-life itself were suspended. It seemed to her that the soul left her
-body, and went floating up, up, on the strains of the music. She was
-praying, praying with all her strength, for the success of this work,
-that the people might feel just as she felt how it was beautiful!
-
-When a crash of applause came and a call for the composer, it seemed
-but an answer to her prayer. She rose to her feet, radiant.
-
-Prospero C---- came to the foot-lights below, looking a slight thing,
-the acclaimed great man, in his close black evening dress, and bowed
-his thanks. Then, as the applause continued, he lingered a moment, and
-let his eye pass along the friendly faces in the boxes, a grateful
-emotion expressed in his smile.
-
-The lady in gold leaned over the velvet parapet, breathing short,
-tremulously smiling, her flowers in her hands. His eye passed her
-unrecognizing. She wanted to shout: "It is I, Paula! Nothing could keep
-me away!" The clamor subsided. Panting, she leaned back in the shade.
-
-The third act ended in triumph. Again the composer was called. Paula
-laughed and cried at the same time, clapping her little hands like mad,
-forgetting herself.
-
-Then, when it was all over and she sat in the dark carriage rolling
-homeward, she felt a chill seizing upon her very heart; she began to
-shiver. But her physical condition scarcely interested her; a sense of
-the sad things of life weighed heavily upon her: the vanity of earthly
-hopes, the evanescence of happy things, the inequality in the measure
-of pain and pleasure to God's children, the fugitiveness of illusions,
-the foolishness of dreams. She thought of the beggar sitting at the
-corner in sun and rain through years: she felt disgust for a world
-where such things could be. She said, "It is a good thing to have done
-with it. It is a deliverance. I will not give it one regret; no, not
-one." She felt suddenly that she did not love Italy: it had betrayed
-her. "It is you, you who are to blame," she said, full of helpless
-resentment, shaking a pale small hand vaguely from the window out
-at the balmy moonlit world; "you, soft air! you, flower smell! you,
-velvety firmament with the many-colored stars! I was a simple soul: my
-common life was enough for me; you sowed in my unguarded heart all the
-seeds of vain dreams, and fostered them. And they bear no fruit; they
-wither on their shallow roots--they are weeds!--But I will not curse
-you, for God made you lovely."
-
-She closed her eyes; her thoughts turned to remote Schattenort;
-she wished she were there again, in the dull, quiet, big, cold,
-familiar country house where she had been born and bred. A mist of
-bitter longing rose in her eyes. The moon was shining clamorously,
-obtrusively; it cast a green light, a light almost warm, on the pale
-pavement. She hated its fervent beauty. "Would God I were home!" she
-sighed.
-
-Veronika, mistaking her meaning, said, "You are almost there."
-
-Paula suffered Veronika and her maid to put her to bed. She seemed not
-to notice them. She was thinking--far away. Out of habit she listened a
-moment for the piano above. But all was silent. "He is happy," she said
-to herself; "he has gone with his friends. Or perhaps he is up there
-living it all over again." And her imagination, touched anew with the
-old obstinate insanity, took the road up to his never-seen chamber,
-bent over him, and rejoiced with him. "Oh, if I could--" she said; "if
-I could! But he will never know how a dying noble lady used to listen
-to his playing in the dead of night, and loved him, and left him her
-blessing--"
-
-Veronika had no sleep that night. Before day the doctor was summoned.
-He remained several hours. At going he drew Veronika aside, and by
-signs succeeded at last in procuring from her the package of letters
-the Countess had once shown him. He looked at the superscriptions, and
-took from among them one "To the Abbé S----."
-
-That evening he brought with him a white-haired old man in priestly
-garb, whom Veronika was relieved to hear address her in her native
-tongue.
-
-Presently, with muffled footsteps and a frightened, solemn mien, she
-led him into the Countess's bedroom, dimly lighted by shaded candles,
-and left them long alone together.
-
-Prospero, returning home that night, opened the window wide and stood a
-moment looking out at the stars, at peace with life, every desire for
-the moment hushed, satisfied. Then he lighted the candles on the piano,
-and the faint yellow illumination brought out a hint of color in the
-objects around. It showed an ordinary, rather bare room; he lived in
-it very little. The littering music and the piano formed its chief
-adornment.
-
-He sat down, but for a moment did not touch the keys. He removed the
-flower from his coat and smelt it, thinking of Rosina, who had given
-it him at the theatre door--Rosina with the broad velvet-faced hat,
-the tight silk dress, the diamonds in her ears, and the small basket
-of flowers on her arm. She was pretty--oh, pretty! Having thought how
-pretty she was, he wisely tossed away her faded favor, determining to
-remain cold and prudent. He shook back his hair, as if thereby to free
-his mind of her, spread his hands over the ivory keys, and began, as
-he loved to do before sleeping, to let his fancies and emotions make
-themselves sound.
-
-He played long, losing himself, finding a melodious vesture for his
-half-formed dream. The night was very quiet; it came to be very
-late without his perceiving it. Suddenly he felt a cool air on his
-forehead--he looked up, and paused in his playing, his hands motionless
-above the keys, his lips open. He felt that he ought to speak, but
-his voice failed to answer his will. He was asking himself in the dim
-background of his consciousness how the Countess Paula von Schattenort
-had entered his dwelling so noiselessly, and what she might be seeking
-there. More clearly he was wondering at her face, strangely still and
-white, vaguely woe-begone, astonished, pathetic. He recognized her,
-yet she seemed to him altered from the one he sometimes saw on the
-balcony and met on the stairs--that object without interest, a woman
-not pretty. Perhaps it was the wonderful hair that, shining along her
-cheeks like a pale gilded mist, transfigured her. The firm fine braids
-that heretofore he had seen always wound in austere simplicity about
-her head were undone; the narrowly waved hair floated to her knees;
-her face peered wistfully between two shimmering bands of it. She was
-clothed in a white garment bordered with dark fur; a heavy rosary hung
-about her neck.
-
-She looked at him a long moment with fixed eyes, an expression of
-plaintive disillusion, and said nothing.
-
-He tried to ask in what manner he might serve her, but his tongue was
-numb.
-
-She turned and looked all about the room, very slowly, as a person
-seeking something. Then she looked again at him, silently, with that
-same face of disappointment; and her hands, that had been tightly shut
-on the golden crucifix appended to her rosary, opened and slipped
-softly to her sides. She turned to the door. He rose from his seat, and
-without taking his eyes from her, fumbled to lift the candle from its
-socket, to light her way; he was awkward in his amazement. He saw her
-pass the threshold. In a second he followed her. She was not in the
-next room. He passed through the two rooms that separated him from the
-door leading to the common stairway. He came to the door; it was as he
-had left it, secured for the night. Seized with dismay, in spite of the
-thought that she must have lingered behind in the shady embrasure of
-a window, he undid the chain and bolt and came out on the landing and
-looked, expecting inconsistently to see a white figure vanishing down
-the steps. He saw nothing but a faint light cast upon the wall at the
-turn of the stairs. He stood hesitating.
-
-In a moment he heard below a sound of weeping; he went down with a
-trembling of the knees. On the landing of the _piano nobile_ was the
-landlady. She had set her little brass lamp on the last step, and was
-crying. The door to the Countess's apartment was wide open, and the
-draught from there made the tiny flame flicker and smoke.
-
-"What is it?" said Prospero, in a husky whisper.
-
-"She is dead, the poor lady!" sobbed the _padrona_.
-
-He felt his hair softly rising.
-
-
-
-
-DORASTUS
-
-
-She had large violet eyes, of a melancholy effect, and fine
-honey-colored hair, flowing smoothly over her ears. She looked
-excessively meek and always a little apprehensive, as if accustomed to
-reproaches, yet never quite hardened to them. One easily supposed her
-to be an orphan.
-
-She lived with an aunt, her mother's half-sister, considerably older
-and less pleasing than her mother in that charming woman's brief day.
-Her cousins were all older than she; the girls were so perfect in every
-respect that intimacy between her and them was out of the question;
-the son, a big, blunt young man, was mostly away, and, when at home,
-too much taken up with other interests to be more than just aware of
-the violet eyes. So, life was very dull for Emmeline--"Emmie" she was
-familiarly called.
-
-She went often of an evening to her mother's grave, and, sitting beside
-it, reflected how it was in keeping with the general sadness of things
-that there should be no prospect of any change for her in all the
-years of her life, no change from the present weary round of aunt and
-cousins, of sterile duties and insipid pleasures.
-
-And there, by her mother's grave, came the very change she was sighing
-for. She sat on the sward, musingly watching the square tower of the
-church grow gray against the delicate, flushed sky, when she became
-aware of a stranger going from stone to stone in the fading light,
-examining the inscriptions. At first she was afraid. While she debated
-whether to hide or flee, the stranger approached, and in a foreign
-voice and accent asked some common question about the place. She could
-not answer readily for a foolish shame mixed with terror. She got to
-her feet, blushing, then turning pale. It could be none other than
-the astonishing fiddler who had played the night before in the hall
-at Colthorpe, and who could, they said, make your hair rise on end
-by the power of weird, unearthly music, or your eyes dissolve with
-tenderness--as he chose. She stared without speech into his dark,
-peculiar face. And he, seeing that she was discomfited, instead of
-apologizing and withdrawing, undertook, in a tone as persuasive as his
-violin's, to set her at ease. And when a few days later he disappeared
-from that part of the world, the violet eyes disappeared too.
-
-Aunt Lucretia in time received a letter, asking her forgiveness and
-announcing Emmie's marriage.
-
-She did not grant her forgiveness until several years later, after due
-savoring of sad, black-bordered letters from Emmie, imploring kindness.
-Her husband, after a brief illness, was dead; her little boy and she
-were left alone, without anything in the world. She acknowledged
-her fault so humbly; she owned so freely that her marriage had been
-excessively--deservedly--wretched; she longed so desperately to be
-taken back into her old home, that Lucretia found herself relenting.
-Her daughters were now married and lived at a distance; she felt daily
-more and more the need of a female companion. Her son, after reading
-the young widow's pitiful appeals, protested that it would be inhuman
-to refuse her a shelter. It was decided that she should be allowed to
-come, and in time the big, blunt Gregory, of whom she had been afraid
-in old days, went a long stretch of the journey to meet her, for that
-had seemed to him requisite, though to his mother superfluous. He even
-crossed the arm of sea that she must presently be crossing, with no
-apparent purpose but to cross it again with her.
-
-When the boat was well out at sea and the passengers had disposed
-themselves in patience about the deck, he marched up and down, as did
-several of the others, and, while avoiding to look like one in search,
-sought diligently the remembered face of his cousin.
-
-It was a cheerless gray day. The sea was quiet; the boat pitched but
-slightly. He was not long unsuccessful; when he had satisfied himself
-that she was not in the crowd on the windside, he went to lee and saw
-her sitting almost alone. She might have gone there for warmth. She did
-not seem to notice that cinders and fine soot were raining down upon
-her. He found himself disinclined to accost her at once; he went to
-lean where he could watch her without pointed appearance of curiosity.
-
-She looked mournful in her black things--not the new, crisp crape
-of well-to-do bereavement, but a poor gentlewoman's ordinary shabby
-black. Her cheeks had lost their pretty roundness; the effect of her
-eyes was more than ever melancholy. The pale little face, set in its
-faint-colored hair, framed in its black bonnet, might pass a hundred
-times unnoticed: it had little to arrest the attention; but attention,
-by whatever chance once secured, must be followed by a gentle,
-compassionate interest in the breast of the beholder. This emotion felt
-Gregory.
-
-She sat on one of the ship's benches, hugging her black wrap about her,
-hiding in it her little gloveless hands. A bundle was on her lap, at
-her feet a large bag. She looked wearily off over the crumpled leaden
-plain, and now and then called: "Dorastus! Dorastus!"
-
-At that, a toddling bundle came towards her, never near enough to be
-caught, and toddled off again, coming and going busily, with muttered
-baby soliloquy. He was a comical little figure, clumsily muffled
-against the cold, with a pointed knit cap drawn well down over his
-ears. If he ignored her call, she rose and fetched him, shaking his
-little hand and bidding him not to go again so far from mother. He
-dragged at his arm, squealing the while she exhorted, and almost
-tumbled over when she let him loose. Then he resumed his interrupted
-play.
-
-After a time he seemed to tire of it. He came to his mother and,
-touching the bag at her feet, unintelligibly demanded something.
-She shook her head. He seemed to repeat his demand. "No, no,
-Dorastus--mother can't!" she said, fretfully. Then this dot of humanity
-made himself formidable. Gregory watched in surprise the little
-imperious face become disquietingly like an angry man's. He hammered
-with both small fists on his mother's knee, and stamped and loudly
-sputtered. She caught his arms for a moment and held them quiet; mother
-and child looked each other in the face, his strange, unbabyish,
-heavy-browed eyes flaming, hers lit with a low smouldering resentment.
-He struggled from her grasp, and at last, as his conduct was beginning
-to attract attention, she stooped, vanquished, and, bruising her
-fingers on the awkward buckles, undid the bag.
-
-Gregory at this point approached and spoke to her by name. She lifted
-her face, her eyes full of helpless tears. She reddened faintly on
-recognizing him. She handed the boy a diminutive toy-fiddle from the
-bag. Pacified, he retired at a little distance and, while his mamma and
-the gentleman entered into conversation, scraped seriously, the tassel
-on the tip of his cap bobbing with his funny little _airs de tęte_.
-
-"How good of you, how good of you--how comforting to me!" she said, her
-forlorn face softly brightening; "I was getting so tired of taking
-care of myself! I have never travelled alone, and--and I am so timid--"
-
-How different seemed the old house to Emmie returning! She settled
-down in it with the sense of passionate contentment. I can imagine in
-a dove restored to the cote after escaping the fowler's snare and the
-rage of wintry storms. How shut it was against the cold! how safe from
-arrogant men demanding money! Life in it now seemed to her one round
-of luxurious pleasures: one could sleep undisturbed, tea and buttered
-bread came as regularly as the desire for them; flowers bloomed at
-every season on mantel-shelf and table; the grate glowed as if to glow
-were no more than a grate's nature. There was undeniably the domestic
-tyrant still; but what a mild one by comparison! Aunt Lucretia might
-be peremptory and critical and contradictory: to Emmie in these days
-she personated a benevolent Providence. It is possible that the lady's
-disposition had softened towards her niece: her superior daughters
-were removed, and the little widow with her manifold experiences was
-unquestionably a person more interesting to have about than the moping
-girl of yore.
-
-The two ladies, sitting together with their wools, in undertones talked
-over Emmie's married miseries. She was as ready with her confidences as
-Aunt Lucretia with her listening ear. There seemed no end to what she
-had to tell or the number of times she might relate the same incident
-and be heard out with tolerance. She was glad of some one to whom to
-unburden her heart of its accumulated grievance; she could not but be a
-little glad, too, now it was well over, that so much that was unusual
-had happened to her, since it lent her this importance. Aunt Lucretia
-gave a great deal of good advice--said what she would have done in
-like case; Emmie accepted it with as much humble gratitude as if it
-had still been of service. She concurred with all her heart in her
-aunt's unqualified condemnation of her first lapse from the respectable
-path--her elopement; she declared with perfect sincerity that she was
-puzzled to explain how it all happened--certainly before a week had
-been over the folly of it had stared her in the face.
-
-The young widow, when she had taken her aunt through scenes of rage
-and jealousy that made that matron's nostrils open as a war-horse's,
-and had shown up the petty tyrannies and meannesses of a bad-tempered,
-vindictive, vain man, afflicted with a set of morbidly tense nerves,
-would sometimes inconsistently betray a sort of pride in the fact that
-she had been adored by this erratic being, whose ill-treatment of her
-came partly from that fact; also a certain pride in the assurance she
-had had on every side, of his being a great artist who might have risen
-to fortune had he been blessed with a different constitution. A prince
-had once, in token of his appreciation, bestowed on him a jewelled
-order; Emmie wished she had not been forced to sell it when he was
-ill. She herself could not judge of his playing--she could not abide
-the sound of a violin--but the star might be accounted a proof of his
-ability.
-
-"You were too meek, my dear," said Lucretia, conclusively, after a
-tale of oppression; "I should have taken a stand."
-
-"Dear aunt," said Emmie, pensively considering her relative's size
-and the cast of her features, "I think you would. He would have been
-afraid of you. If I displeased him, he said I was rebellious because I
-felt myself bolstered up by the admiration of whoever in the inn had
-happened to give me a passing glance, and he would torment me until I
-swore I loved him with every thought of my life. Sometimes, when he had
-made me cry, he would cry, too--I hate that in a man, aunt!--and go on
-tormenting me until I said I forgave him--"
-
-"Ah, I should have taught him a lesson!"
-
-"Yes, aunt, you would. But I swore whatever he pleased. If I was sulky,
-he was as likely as not to sit up all night, wailing on his violin when
-I wanted to sleep. He always took remote chambers at inns, for the
-privilege of playing at night, if he pleased. If I complained, he said
-that if I had liked the music it would have soothed me to sleep, and
-if I did not like it, it was well I should be kept awake. He was very
-sore on the point of my not being in love with his music."
-
-"I should like to see a man play the fiddle in my bedroom!" said Aunt
-Lucretia, with a face of danger.
-
-And Emmie, from this lady's example and counsel, got a retrospective
-courage that enabled her in memory, now that she was well-fed,
-well-dressed, and possessed of the assurance that goes with those
-conditions, to bring the stormy scenes with her husband to an end more
-honorable to herself. She could imagine herself even braving him--when,
-perhaps, would come in sight Dorastus. Then her heart would sink in
-consciousness of its folly. There was no contending for her with a
-nature like that. That baby could bend her to his will even as the
-father had done. He was so little now that she could not strive with
-him to any enduring advantage; and when he would be bigger, she felt
-it already, no revolt of hers would be of use. The tyranny was handed
-down from father to son, with the sensitiveness and the jealousy. She
-looked over at the little, intrepid face sometimes with a sort of
-slave's aversion: every day he would be more like that other; he kept
-him disagreeably alive now in her memory with the tricks of his face,
-the difficulties of his temper. She only hoped, in an unformed way as
-yet, that before he grew to make himself heavily felt something might
-have arisen for her protection.
-
-She made him pretty things with a mother's full indulgence, caressed
-him in due measure, and gave dutiful attention to his every request;
-but deep in her heart and in her eye was a reservation. And in him,
-though he could hardly frame speech, seemed an inherited suspicion of
-this want of loyalty in her, a consciousness of her appeal to something
-outside, against him. In his baby rages he seemed aware, by an instinct
-beyond his understanding, that she did not care for them, except that
-they made her uncomfortable, and he beat her with all his fierce little
-strength for it. She belonged strictly to him, and there was always
-treachery in the air; so he must be foes with all surrounding her, and
-most severe with herself, whom he idolatrously loved.
-
-Often, if they were alone and she did nothing to cross him, but treated
-respectfully his every whim, he rewarded her gravely with such tokens
-of his devotion as he could devise. If they were out under the trees,
-he would make a hundred little voyages and from each bring back some
-treasure, flower or pebble, that he dropped in her lap, watching her
-face to see if she were appropriately pleased. If she were busy with
-her stitching and after a time forgot to acknowledge his gift, he would
-make known his disgust by taking everything from her and stamping it
-under foot; but if she wisely kept her whole mind on him, and gave him
-praise and smiles, and admired his offerings, he would multiply his
-efforts to please her, get her things the most difficult and perilous
-to obtain, stones that were heavy, insects that were frightful, parade
-before her every little accomplishment, be débonnaire and royal, and
-expose his true worshipping heart to his servant.
-
-Woe if in such moments of expansion Gregory came out on the lawn
-and took the empty seat on the rustic bench beside Emmie! The child
-would know nothing of a divided allegiance, and showed his sense of
-outrage by a prompt attack on both, whom he seemed to think equally
-conspirators against his peace. They stood his babbled vituperation
-and baby blows with smiling patience for a little, trying to converse
-coherently under them; then, when he burst into angry tears, with a
-sigh the mother bore him off to be lectured and calmed, resuming her
-conversation with Gregory at a more opportune moment. Before Gregory
-she never spoke of her husband.
-
-With the passing months her cheek got back its freshness, her eye
-its clear brightness. Now a haunting fear awoke in her breast: Aunt
-Lucretia was wearying of her presence. She had heard all of her
-injuries till the story was stale. She was beginning to find fault with
-her just as of old, to set her back in her place now and then with the
-former terrible abruptness, and that place a very low one. The poor
-little woman accepted all abjectly, shuddering at the possibility
-of being again cast on the world with her child. She went about with
-reddened eyelids and a look of pathetic nervousness, hushing Dorastus
-whenever he lifted his voice, doing her pitiful best that neither
-should give offence. Gregory could not look on in patience: he laid the
-gentle afflicted creature's tremors forever by asking her to become his
-wife.
-
-His mother left the house and went to abide with her daughters. But in
-time she became reconciled to what was unalterable and returned to her
-ancient seat of government, allowing her age to be cheered by the sight
-of her favorite child's happiness. Little sons and daughters, his wife
-gave him four, among whom prevailed straw-colored hair and eyes of the
-admired flower tint. The old house was gay as at early dawn a tree full
-of gossiping birds.
-
-So to Emmie was raised a mighty salvation; against Dorastus arrayed
-themselves innocent yellow heads, like so many insuperable golden
-lances.
-
-When the children were called into the drawing-room to be shown to
-the company, a visitor was sure to ask, "And who is this little
-man?" meaning Dorastus; so unlikely did it appear that he could be
-of his mother's kindred. To the golden hen, her golden brood. How in
-seriousness call a chick the little black creature with the large beak
-and the piercing eyes?
-
-And as unlike his brothers as he was physically, so unlike he remained
-in disposition. By all the children as by Dorastus himself the
-difference in kind was felt. He remained solitary among them and at
-odds with all. They set him down a domineering, bad-tempered thing,
-and he summed them up scornfully as a pack of pudding-heads. It was
-not plain to any one why he thought himself superior: his actual
-accomplishments were somewhat less than ordinary. Bullet-headed,
-downright Hector, his brother nearest in age, could beat him at any
-sport, and when their differences brought them to blows was rather more
-than half sure of victory over his senior, inferior to him in size
-and art; Martin was cleverer than he at his books; the little girls
-even could give him points in conduct--yet his attitude of every minute
-insisted upon it that he was better than any of them, and that his
-mother was more particularly his mother than she was theirs. Emmie, it
-is true, did not reprove him quite as she did Hector; he was allowed
-more than the others the full swing of his temperament. His step-father
-punctiliously refrained from meddling with him, and if he made trouble
-with his temper and his pride Emmie warned her nice-natured children
-not to irritate him, to make allowances for him. Insensibly that
-qualified the relation between Dorastus and his mother. That negative
-indulgence he felt, however dimly, did not prove him a favorite: it
-made him a sort of alien. He became more reserved in his demands upon
-his mother. There were too many yellow heads for one boy to contend
-with successfully by ordinary means. He still held to it bravely in
-his attitude towards his brothers and sisters that he was better than
-they, and that his mother belonged exclusively to him, but herself
-he troubled less and less with his jealousy and his claims. It might
-have seemed at last almost as if she were become indifferent to him.
-Absorbed by her domestic cares, she had scarcely perceived the change.
-
-The cares were many, but pleasant in their nature. Gregory was
-steadily, lazily kind, the children were healthy, she herself was in
-the beautiful full bloom of life--she found it good. She had almost
-forgotten the bitter taste of her beginnings, when one night, startled
-from a deep sleep, she lay in the dark awhile and wondered that she
-should dream so clearly of hearing the long, low wail of a violin.
-It had recreated about her in an instant the atmosphere of old days.
-She lay as she had lain often enough, with lead upon her heart, a
-dead sense of there being no escape in view from this slavery, this
-poverty, this succession of weary travel and third-rate inns, this
-nerve-racking sound of the violin penetrating through the brain as a
-red-hot needle--no release from this unrelenting master, this terrible
-added burden of baby. She shook herself free from what she thought the
-remaining effect of a nightmare; she had seemed for a moment to smell
-the very essence her first husband used on his hair, mixed with the
-flat odor of the small Dutch inn-chamber in which Dorastus was born.
-She turned over on her side to sleep again, when she became assured
-that she heard a violin. She listened through her thick heart-beats,
-a thrill of superstitious horror stiffening her skin. She knew it
-unreasonable, but could not dispel her fear. She rose sitting in bed,
-becoming at last fully awake. Still she heard the violin, sounding
-faintly, as if from some distant part of the house. Then she thought.
-It had been these long years in the garret, the treasured Amati he had
-made her swear to keep for his child. The child had found it.
-
-She could not fall to sleep again, she must satisfy herself.
-
-She slipped her feet into their shoes, got her dressing-gown about her,
-and crept through the shadowy corridor, up the stair, to where Dorastus
-slept. Since he would be the master, whoever shared his room, which
-was obviously unfair to his room-mate, he had been allotted a little
-chamber by himself in a somewhat remote part of the house.
-
-As she approached it, the sound of the violin came more and more clear
-to her. She stopped and leaned against the balusters, yielding to a
-soul-sickness that had its rise in she scarce knew which, memory or
-foreboding. She listened curiously. It was strange playing, though
-simple, subdued to not wound the night silence; unordinary as it was,
-there was nothing tentative about it, the hands seemed going to it
-with a fine boldness, a delicate natural skill. The mother felt not a
-moment's joy.
-
-She came to the door, opened it noiselessly, and stood in the doorway
-with her candle shining upward in her wide eyes, her solemn face.
-
-Dorastus stopped playing, and said, with a gleeful, short laugh, "I
-knew it would make you come!"
-
-As Emmie had expected, he held the Amati. He had thrown off his jacket
-and tie and stood in his shirt-sleeves, with his neck bare. His dark
-eyes were burning and dancing; his black hair was ruffled and pushed
-up on end; his face was hotly flushed. His whole attitude had in it
-something new, finely expressive of conscious power.
-
-"I knew it would make you come!" he said, with a triumphant nod.
-
-She entered and set down her light on the little chest of drawers. "You
-ought not to play at night," she said, faintly. "It disturbs people's
-sleep."
-
-"It wouldn't wake _them_!" he exclaimed, scornfully, "and if it did I
-shouldn't care, as long as they didn't come and bother. I wanted to
-call you, to make you come to me. I was sure I could. Are you cold,
-little mother dear? Get into my bed."
-
-He laid down his instrument; he came where she stood, with her silken
-hair tumbling over her shoulders, and felt her chilled hands.
-
-"No, no," she said, irritably, taking them from him, "it is unheard
-of, playing at this hour of the night. I must go." But she went
-mechanically to sit on the edge of his bed, that had not been lain in
-that night, and still kept towards him that wondering, dismayed face.
-
-"How did it sound?" asked the boy, whose excitement seemed to dull his
-perception, so that he remained unchilled by her want of warmth. "Did
-it say plainly, Arise, wrap your sky-blue gown about you, never mind
-tying up your gold hair, light your light, and come gliding through
-the shadow of the sleeping house, to your dear son, the only one who
-loves you, in his solitary room, far from all the others? That is what
-I meant it should say, but towards the end I meant it to say something
-else, towards the end it was explaining. Did you understand that part?"
-
-"How did you find it?" asked Emmie, still in her faint voice. "Why did
-you take it without asking our permission? Who taught you to play on
-it?"
-
-The boy laughed again his gleeful laugh. He got on to the bed beside
-her and sat with his chin in his hand, his glowing face full of pride
-in himself. "Ah, how I found it, when it was up in the garret? It was
-like that story of the Greek fellow--what's his name?--dressed like a
-girl. When the peddler brought shawls and ribbons and things, and a
-sword hidden among them, he took the sword, and the peddler knew by
-that sign that he was a man. In the garret there were old hoop-skirts,
-and broken mousetraps, and bird-cages, and boxes full of religious
-books and things--but my hand went straight to the violin!"
-
-"Tell me the truth, Dorastus," spoke his mother, wearily.
-
-"Well, then, after talking with a certain person, I concluded that it
-must be there. I looked for it and found it, months and months ago. I
-took it and learned to play, to give you a surprise. Do you think I can
-ever play as my father did?"
-
-"Whom have you heard speak of your fathers playing, Dorastus?"
-
-"Aha! There is some one who remembers him at this very place--who
-heard him just once and never forgot it. I might as well tell you:
-it is the brother of the inn-keeper's wife at Colthorpe; he used to
-be the hostler, but is too old now. He plays the violin himself, at
-weddings, sometimes, and dances--but not much, dear. He taught me, but
-I have gone far ahead--oh, far ahead of him now! He knows when it is
-good, however, and you should hear what he says of me and my playing.
-You must see him and ask him. He had climbed up from outside into the
-window when once my father played at Colthorpe, and he can speak of
-it as if it had happened yesterday. (He says that I am very like my
-father, that any one would know me who had seen him. He knew, before
-asking, whose son I was. Only, my father wore his hair long; well, I
-will wear my hair long!) He says that, as he played, every trouble he
-had ever had came back to him, even the death of a dog, and he could
-not help crying--but he liked it; he enjoyed feeling bad. And he says
-that it made him see plain before him, but not very plain either, a
-lot of things he had only heard folks talk about--the shepherds in
-the East, for instance, with the angels singing good-will in a hole in
-the clouds. And he knew for sure, he says, how it would have felt if
-the girl he wanted hadn't married some one else and gone to live away,
-but had taken him. I asked him, the other day, if I could make him
-feel those things. He said, 'Not yet, not quite yet;' but he thought I
-was beginning. He has a number of music sheets; I can read the notes
-much quicker than he already, though he taught me. But I don't care
-for those; there must be others much better than those! Those are
-nothing! I like better what I make up myself than I do those. Did you
-notice?--but no, you must have been too far--how quickly I can play
-some passages? My left fingers go like a spider, and it is so easy for
-them! Giles says my hand is like my father's--he remembers it--a true
-violinist's hand. I feel that it can do anything, dear--anything! And
-I mean that it shall do such things! Look at it, mother!" and he held
-up the thin, unboyishly delicate, angular hand, stronger in appearance
-than the rest of his body. "Is it like my father's? You are the one, of
-course, that remembers best. Is it like my father's?"
-
-"Oh, yes--yes!" she almost moaned.
-
-He did not seem to perceive her impatience, but contemplated his own
-hand a little while, calmly sure that he must be an object of pride to
-her now. "It is quite unlike Hector's, at least. I should like to see
-him try to play with his pink paws!"
-
-"He might not be able to play," said Emmie, "but he will, I dare say,
-do something quite as useful."
-
-"There is nothing quite so useful!" cried the boy superbly, and
-laughed again in his perverse glee. "It is more useful than anything
-you can invent to say that Hector is going to do. Hector! Hector will
-be a rabbit-raiser; he likes rabbits better than anything. But I will
-come with my violin and make the rabbits stand up on their hind-legs
-and stare; I will play softly, wheedlingly, going slowly backwards
-towards the woods, and they will all come after me, without stopping
-for a nibble. I will lead them away, away, all the flock of little,
-round-backed, skipping things--just as I made you get out of bed and
-come up here."
-
-"I came to tell you to stop, foolish boy. I didn't want you to wake the
-others. It was very inconsiderate in you--very inconsiderate. And I am
-not sure that I am pleased with you for taking a thing so valuable--it
-is worth a great deal of money--unknown to me, or for doing things in
-secret, or for having dealings with people I know nothing of--hostlers
-and inn-keepers' wives. You certainly play nicely--"
-
-"Ah, did you truly think I did, mother?" he asked, eagerly. "You ought
-to know; you used to hear himself. Now, tell me, dear--"
-
-"But I am not at all sure"--she interrupted him, lamely
-querulous--"that the violin--You have been so underhanded, and I see
-now how you waste your time--it explains your being so bad with your
-lessons. I am not at all sure that the violin ought not to be taken
-from you."
-
-"I shall not give it up!" Dorastus said instantly, and it might be
-perfectly understood that he would struggle with his last breath to
-keep it, doing as much damage as in him lay to his opposers.
-
-Emmie, quite pale, looked into his face, that had fully returned from
-its mood of happy pride, and he looked into hers, as they had looked
-already when he was but a baby. Then, seeing what she had always seen,
-she tossed up her hands with a little helpless, womanish motion, and
-complained: "Oh, I am so cold, and I feel so ill! It is like a horrid
-dream--and I am miserable." She rose and pulled her things about her to
-go, tears shining on her cheek.
-
-Dorastus, who had leaped up and laid his hand resolutely on his violin
-and bow, if they should be in any immediate danger, watched her with
-a strange face. His jaw was iron. When, as she reached the door,
-he unclinched his teeth to speak, his face worked in spite of him
-and tears gushed from his eyes. "You never understand anything!" he
-exploded, in a harsh, angry voice all his pride could not keep from
-breaking. Then, with the indignant scorn of a child for a grown-up
-person who seems to him out of all nature dull--"Go!" he said, beating
-his arms violently about, "Go! Go!"
-
-So Dorastus retained the violin, and defiantly played on it, in and out
-of season. His mother's failure to be pleased with his playing seemed
-to have cut her off, in his estimation, from all right to an opinion.
-It is true that after the first night she armed herself with patience
-towards a situation she could not change. She did not cross the boy
-more than her conscience positively enjoined; he might play since he
-pleased, but must not neglect his studies in pursuit of a vain pastime.
-
-In spite of her, his studies suffered. He felt no humiliation now
-that Hector or any should be ahead of him with books; he could have
-been far ahead of them if he had chosen, but they could under no
-circumstance have done what he did. Of these things he was proudly
-convinced, and he declared them without hesitation. His almost
-untutored playing took on a strange audacity, a fantastical quality
-that made it pleasing to none in the household. That did not disturb
-him; he pursued triumphantly in the direction repugnant to them, taking
-their disapproval to naturally point to its excellence. Sometimes,
-half in scorn, he would play for the little girls the simple melodies
-they knew, to show them that he could do that, too, if he chose; full
-tenderly could he play them and delight their gentle hearts, but he
-preferred, if he could catch an unprejudiced soul for audience, a
-housemaid for instance, to set her opposite to him and play to her from
-his head, then question her as to what the music had made her think of,
-helping her to detail her impressions, expressing his contempt freely
-if the music had not had on her the desired effect, but hugging her if
-she happened to answer as he wanted.
-
-Whenever he had a holiday, or took one, he disappeared with his
-instrument, returning with a conqueror's mien, out of place in a boy
-with whom every one is displeased, and who has had nothing to eat. It
-was felt by all how he was in these days not friends with anybody,
-nor anybody friends with him. It suited his pride to carry off the
-situation as if he had been a king among boors.
-
-Her eldest child's conduct began at last to be something of a grievance
-to Emmie. She appealed to no one for help to reduce him to obedience.
-She would not have dared do that; an intimate sense forbade it, a
-scruple which would have had no voice, perhaps, had she loved him
-more. She excused and up-held him in her little wars with Lucretia,
-and respected Gregory's reluctance to interfere with him, founded in
-justice on the consciousness of a deep-seated, invincible dislike; but
-she fretted under his undutifulness and only refrained from satisfying
-the desire to attempt asserting her power over him, though it should
-be futile as ever, in the idea that, at the worst, he would soon be
-leaving home, with Hector, for school, when the detested violin must
-be given up and stronger hands than her own find a way to bend his
-obstinate spirit. At the same time, in a corner of her heart, she felt
-unreasonably, unaccountably hurt, as perhaps she would have felt if
-Dorastus's father had suddenly ceased from his persecutions and she had
-known by that sign that, worm as he was, he had ceased to care for her.
-
-"This is all very well; but when you get to school--" Phrases begun on
-that line became frequent in Dorastus's ear as the time approached. He
-heard them with a singularly bright eye.
-
-The two boys set out for school together, under the guardianship of the
-tutor. Consternation fell on the family when it was known that Dorastus
-had been missed on the way. The boy was traced to London; there he was
-easily lost among the millions of its inhabitants.
-
-While the question was in discussion whether it behooved Gregory
-himself to travel to London and institute a search for the runaway,
-came a letter from the boy, making it easily decent for his step-father
-to leave the stinging weed to get its growth where it might without
-being a nuisance, and reconciling his mother to letting him take his
-chances as he pleased, since he was so sure they were brilliant--very
-brilliant, those chances.
-
-His certainty of himself, his enthusiasm, were such that gradually they
-communicated themselves in a degree to her. Why not? After all, his
-father, they had said, was a great man; princes had honored him. An
-involuntary respect crept through her for Dorastus's daring. It seemed
-advisable at least to give him the opportunity he wanted; the more that
-the process of finding him, bringing him back in what to him would seem
-ignominy, and thereafter keeping watch over him, was uncomfortable to
-think of.
-
-His letter was to his mother, a mixture of boyishness and manliness,
-more frank than any speech she had had from him in a long time. It
-vaguely stirred her heart; for it seemed to restore to her something
-that possessing she had not prized, but, careful economist, did not
-like to think lost.
-
-"You must promise that I shall not be troubled by any attempt to get
-me back. I will do anything terrible if I am trapped. Don't you see
-that I couldn't go to school with Hector, who is younger? We should
-be put in classes together, for a while at least, and I couldn't stand
-it. Besides, I haven't the time, I have so much to do! Besides, I
-couldn't go on living with _those people_ forever. I don't mean that
-you shall, either. I won't tell you all now, but after a time you may
-know that there is to be a house much better than theirs for you to
-live in, with me. You shall have everything much better. But I will
-not tell you more. Only, you can be perfectly sure of it. You will not
-think that I came away without caring about leaving you. I was afraid
-you would guess something if I hugged you before them as I wanted to,
-but I had been to your room in the night, and any of your gowns you
-put on is full of your son's kisses. If I thought you would show this
-letter, I think that I should never in my life write you again. If you
-should send me any money, I should return it at once or destroy it, so
-please don't do it, it would make me angry. I know that we had nothing
-when we came to their house, except the violin. One of the servants
-told me how we came. What do you suppose keeping me all these years
-has cost? When I can, I mean to give them double; you can tell him so,
-if you choose. I can't now, but what I can do is to take nothing more
-from them. You need not be anxious about me. I am prepared, because I
-have long known what I meant to do, and I can take care of myself. I
-have met several persons already who know of my father; it seems to be
-something here to be his son, though not at home, except to one man,
-and he a hostler. Well, I will show them--you, too, dear mother. I
-don't mean to vex or grieve you, mother, dear. If I have vexed you, I
-know I shall make you forgive me some day, before long, perhaps, when I
-shall have made you understand. You can write me at the Tartar's Head,
-but if you hunted me there, or information concerning me, you would
-never find me, I vow."
-
-Other letters came from time to time, written in fine spirits always,
-referring, but mysteriously, to fine successes. Emmie felt a certain
-modesty about these letters. She communicated what was in them with
-reserve, and adopted towards inquirers the tone of discretion that the
-letters had with herself. But she found herself often brooding over the
-contents. They charmed the imagination; they sounded like things one
-read. It was so remarkable, this circumstance of a poor boy, a boy of
-her own, arriving in a great city, with little but his violin, and by
-sounds merely forcing the things one values to come to him, as he had
-spoken fancifully once, she remembered, of making a flock of rabbits
-follow him into the woods. He wrote little very definite, but dropped
-telling hints of how he had played before this great man and that man
-of importance, and this one had said--the other had promised. He had
-been called upon to perform at a certain levee, and out of his fee had
-bought the things he was sending; he had money to spare. And there came
-a parcel of presents for Emmie and the little girls, by which all were
-greatly impressed. Dorastus's rank in the memory of his family rose a
-degree. Now, on looking back, each knew that he had always foreseen
-how, with that powerful will, Dorastus must be able to hew his way
-through difficulties and compel circumstances to serve him. He was
-looked on rather as a man than a boy, even as he looked on himself. His
-mother was grateful to him for seeming to efface the weak foolishness
-out of her first marriage: she was justified in her latter days, and
-proved a virgin full of good sense. She wrote Dorastus encouraging
-letters. Her good words got glowing answers: surely it would not be
-long; he was working with all his might. But they must be patient,
-for success as a material recompense was slow; and he hinted with the
-effect of a sigh at rivalries, at the density of the public mind. Yet
-talent must inevitably triumph in the end and manly effort meet its
-reward.
-
-When Hector came home for his holidays he found it just a little
-stupid to have been a good boy. The personage in the general mind
-seemed to be his undisciplined half-brother. He contrived, however,
-in the course of weeks, to fix a good deal of attention on himself.
-He restored the balance to his mother's mind. Dorastus sank into his
-natural place in relation to her other children. She waited in serene
-patience--sometimes with a passing touch of scepticism, the reflection
-of some outsider's attitude, oftener with childish perfection of
-faith--for the developments he announced in letters somewhat decreasing
-in frequency, but preserving their early tone of hopefulness.
-
-So time passed. The unusual became the usual and lost consideration,
-according to its habit.
-
-Then the sisters-in-law, those perfect daughters, mothers, and wives,
-came to visit the head of the house in the home of their girlhood. They
-brought maids and children and chattels manifold.
-
-Now these ladies had been in London, and Emmie heard much from them of
-the glories and greatness of that city; she had long opportunity to
-learn respect for their manners and gowns, which alike came from there.
-They had not happened upon Dorastus; they could not remember hearing of
-him, and as that seemed to make it plain to Emmie they had not been in
-the most polite places, they explained that the city was so large and
-populous you might not come across a person in a lifetime.
-
-They left on a rainy autumn morning. Emmie, with her forehead against
-the glass, watched their carriages dwindling, dwindling. Gone, with all
-their patterns for gowns, with the last sweet thing in worsted-work;
-gone, with their fashionable conversation, the art of which she had not
-had quite time yet to master. But even if she had become perfect in
-all, as they, of what use could it have been to her here? she asked,
-turning from the dripping window-pane.
-
-She moved with an air of being the moon by day. The sickness of the
-decaying year seemed to have got into her blood; she felt as if she
-herself were the perishing summer, which had somehow been wasted. She
-said over her children's ages with a sort of terror, a sense of time
-having stolen a march on her; she was vaguely panic-stricken to think
-there was so little of the good time of life left before her. She
-sought the mirror to divert her mind with trying on again the bonnet
-the sisters had bestowed on her, pronouncing it so becoming. Under the
-severe gray light the face she saw reflected held more than ever to her
-discontented eyes a forecast of the cheerless coming days when the rose
-should be withered, the gold gone. The deadly quiet of the country, the
-silence of the well-regulated house, suddenly seemed to her an outrage,
-a roof incontrovertible that no one cared what happened to her. Gregory
-in particular did not care. Else would he not have comprehended that
-movement and novelty and gayety alone could at this pass save her from
-the insidious oncreeping evil that encouraged hard lines between the
-pale cheek and the drooping mouth? Clearly he did not care. He cared
-for nothing but not to be disturbed after dinner. In this connection
-she thought over many a subtle wrong she had been putting up with for
-years. She thought of Dorastus, from whom this husband, with his royal
-indifference, allowed her to be so long separated; Dorastus, who as she
-looked to him, turning from the lukewarm, apathetic tribe surrounding
-her, seemed an embodiment of swiftness and strength, a tempered steel
-blade to rely on, a flame at which to warm the numb hands of the heart.
-Ah, well, he was making a home for her with him, yonder in the living
-city. She lost sight of the mirror into which she was staring; she
-saw that home. Suddenly it seemed to her she could not live longer
-without seeing her boy. She rose with the energy of true inspiration.
-It was such an obviously legitimate desire, this desire to behold again
-her own flesh and blood, that she need not be at pains to fabricate
-palliation or excuse for it. She sought Gregory directly. She was weary
-and ill, she had dreams at night, he did not know how hard her life had
-become. She wanted to see Dorastus.
-
-Gregory yielded.
-
-They came to London. They took rooms at a quiet hotel known to him of
-old.
-
-The novelty of all, the anticipation, made Emmie feel young again. Her
-violet eyes were still childishly clear, her hair was pretty still;
-little was missed of the beauty of her youth but its slender lightness.
-
-"No, no; you must leave it all to me," she said, when Gregory would
-have accompanied her in her search for Dorastus. "I have a clue which
-I will not betray. He has shown, dear fellow, that he might be trusted
-to take care of himself. I will bring him home to dine with us. You may
-take seats for the pantomime."
-
-So the good Gregory put her in the care of a trusted driver, and saw
-her started on her adventure.
-
-Now she was driven--it seemed to her they were hours on the way--to the
-Tartar's Head, a coffee-house of not very imposing appearance, in a
-crowded part.
-
-Before reaching her destination she almost wished she had let Gregory
-come: it was so noisy; the air was so dingy it deadened one's spirits
-despite wealth of delightful prospects; and she must face various
-unknown, perhaps unfriendly, faces before finding his face--after which
-all would be well.
-
-She descended from the carriage with a little flutter, then with the
-haste of rout got into it again, and requested the driver to bring some
-one to her, as if she had been a great person.
-
-A young man came out to take her commands, a well-oiled young man in
-side-whiskers and a broad shirt-front.
-
-Had not letters been received there addressed to so-and-so?
-
-The young man was more than polite. Inquiries were made. Such letters
-had been received. The person to whom they were addressed called for
-them.
-
-"I am his mother," said Emmie, lamely, for she had prepared another
-course than this simple one, a course involving strategy. "Does he not
-live here? Where does he live?"
-
-The young man continued very obliging. He made further inquiries and
-came back looking a little blank. The person came himself and left no
-direction for forwarding his letters; a letter had once been waiting
-several weeks.
-
-"Does no one here know him?" asked his mother, nearly in tears. Of a
-sudden this city seemed to her terribly large, and terribly full of
-people who cared nothing for any distress of hers. "He plays on the
-violin--he plays very beautifully on the violin."
-
-A possibility of intelligence dawned in the obliging young man's face,
-and he ran in-doors again. He came back with a hopeful air. "Yes, your
-ladyship. There is an old man belonging to the place knows him. He took
-him a letter once when he couldn't come himself, being laid up. He
-didn't want to tell at first, saying how he'd sworn. But I let him know
-your ladyship was the young man's mother, and he told. It's a bit far."
-
-The waiter stepped up to the coachman and gave him instructions. Emmie
-rewarded his obligingness with bounty in proportion to her relief at
-all proving so easy. Of course some one knew him. It was part of his
-boyishness to suppose he could hide, after his light had begun shining
-through the bushel, too.
-
-She looked out through the misty pane at the bright passing
-shop-windows; there seemed to her thousands in a row, and hundreds of
-carriages rolling along with her. She liked the city again exceedingly,
-and was glad to hope she might be there often after a time; it was so
-various, it put life into one. If only the murky cloud would lift that
-rested on the chimney-tops, and the rain stop making more the gray
-slime on the flags.
-
-It was a long distance. She looked out until she was tired and
-confused; then leaned back and meditated pleasantly for a time, then
-looked out again, with a little shock of disappointment at seeing no
-more bright windows.
-
-They were going more slowly; the streets here were narrow, the air
-seemed dingier, the houses and people looked miserable.
-
-She watched with a saddened interest these that she fixed upon as
-the poor city-people in their poor quarters. She was sorry for them,
-but she would be relieved when they were left behind for the gayer
-thoroughfares, or the roomier, more cheerful suburbs.
-
-Now at the entrance of a narrow court the carriage stopped. She
-wondered what could be hindering its progress, and fidgeted while the
-coachman left his box and came to the door. He opened it with a stolid
-face and held his finger to his hat, waiting for her to alight.
-
-"But--but"--she stammered, eying the poverty-stricken appearance of the
-place, "this cannot be it!"
-
-"The directions were clear, ma'am; I've followed them," said the man,
-with respectful firmness. "This is as near as I can get to the house;
-there's no room to turn around in the court."
-
-Emmie leaned back a moment, determined not to stir from her
-cushions--the mistake was on the face of it too stupid.
-
-The coachman stood waiting, a man of patience carved in wood. Emmie
-eyed him helplessly; then, seeing that the imposing creature would be
-satisfied with no less from her, with the abruptness of impatience
-she alighted, and rustled into the dark court, peering upward for the
-number.
-
-There it was. She knocked, and listened, with a heart in which strange
-things seemed to be happening. To the capless woman who opened she
-stammered a name, looking for the relief of being told instantly that
-none of that name lived there.
-
-"Three pair back, ma'am," said the woman, who appeared like a cook,
-actual, past, or potential. "But he's not in. There's no telling how
-soon he will come. What name did you say? Drastus what? Sibbie-mole?
-Oh no, ma'am. Beg pardon. I listened as far as Drastus, and answered
-because it's such a curious name. Ours name is Fenton. But, let's see.
-What manner of young man might yours be? Like a foreigner, with a large
-nose and black eyes, and plays the fiddle, and wears his hair long?
-Dear me, ma'am, the very same! His room's three pair back. You wish to
-wait for him? This way, then, ma'am."
-
-Emmie, in whom all processes of thought had stopped in amazement,
-followed the landlady as best she could up three flights of dark
-stairs, and entered through the door flung open for her.
-
-They stood in a little room that received the day through a sky-light.
-Emmie dropped, sitting on the edge of the narrow bed and knotted her
-little gloved fingers together in silence. She was so pale that the
-landlady felt alarmed and asked if she were feeling ill. She shook her
-head, and continued looking about fearfully and in wonder.
-
-There was little to see, nothing that might not have belonged to any
-one in the wide world as well as to that boy; not one of these sordid
-appurtenances reminded her of him, except the music on the table--but
-any fiddler might have just such music.
-
-She rose to her feet as if jerked by a hidden string, and walked
-stiffly towards the door, saying, "It is evidently not the one. This
-one's name is Drastus Fenton, you say. The one I seek is Dorastus
-Sibbemol. Good-morning, ma'am."
-
-But near the door she stopped, her eyes widening upon an object set
-upright in the corner--a black wooden box, very old, scarred and
-worm-eaten, mournfully resembling a child's coffin.
-
-She went back to the bed, and limply leaned against the wall. She
-stared over at the box, with its peculiar wrought-iron hinges and
-handle.
-
-"Has he been here long?" she asked, faintly, at last, of the blowzy
-woman who was looking at her with some concern, and at the same time,
-in view of the lady's respectability, trying to smooth down her untidy
-hair.
-
-She thought a moment and judged he might have been there half a year.
-
-Emmie wrung her hands in an aimless way. She felt little of pain as
-yet, or indignation; only vague throes and convulsions of change, a
-working of all the atoms in heart and brain trying to adjust themselves
-to something new.
-
-"And he is poor!" she murmured.
-
-"Well," said the landlady, exculpatingly, "we are all poor folks here,
-ma'am. He mostly pays his rent--I don't ask much, but when he's behind
-I'm not hard on him. He's a good lad," she went on, and as she was a
-sizable woman, after a gesture of deferential apology she took a seat,
-to support her in her view of lingering to angle with information
-until she caught a little enlightenment. "A good lad, but that proud!
-He thinks he'll be as rich as a dook some day, with his little fiddle!"
-She shook her head in compassion and chuckled fatly over a household
-joke of long standing. "He's all right in his head, ma'am, except on
-that point. A poor lad that plays in the streets is none so likely to
-pick up a fortune. And such tunes as he plays! I've always been told
-I'd an uncommon ear for a catch, but to catch head or tail of them is
-beyond me!"
-
-"He plays in the streets!"
-
-"Yes, poor Dook--come rain, come shine. Sometimes he has a good day,
-sometimes a bad one; but times is hard--it's not very good at best.
-He's not one of them pretty-impudent Italian boys with wheedling brown
-velvet eyes. He looks too scornful, and despises folks more than is for
-his own good. I have felt hurt at it myself, ma'am, and I may say I'm
-not touchy. When I've known that he was a bit hard up and he looked
-hollow, and I've asked him in neighborly to have a bite with us, he
-has answered me almost as if he hated me for it--and gone hollow."
-
-His mother drew in her breath sharply.
-
-"Might you be a friend of his?" asked the landlady. "Once when he was
-sick abed, and I came up to say a good word, he got sociabler than
-usual, and spoke of a lady, a lady of quality, who'd heard him play--I
-thought likely it was before he came here with his coat so seedy--a
-lady who thought he was very fine. Perhaps I don't understand about
-fiddle-playing, and he is all he says. Might you be the lady?"
-
-"Yes, yes, yes!" said Emmie, scarcely knowing what she said.
-
-The landlady looked much interested. "Well, now, I thought as much,
-for I don't think he's any one in the world belonging to him. He's a
-good lad, ma'am," she said again, with a good-natured impulse to make
-hay for a fellow-creature while this, possibly a sun, was shining.
-"He deserves better than he gets, if I do say it. He works at them
-music-books for hours sometimes, at night, till the man below is fit
-to go mad. But I tell him I can't put out a lodger that pays more
-frequent than he, and when I speak to Drastus he says he'll leave,
-though he should have to sleep on the pavement--he must play when he
-pleases. He says that it's because he can't play as other fiddle-men
-do, from a book and in a particular way, that he can't get nothing to
-do but play in the streets. So he must learn, and learn he will, and
-he scrapes away like a meeting of cats on the roof. I'm sorry he's
-out, ma'am. What did you want with him, now? Couldn't I give your
-message--or must you wait yourself?"
-
-"I will wait--I will wait."
-
-"He may not be home till night. He sometimes even--"
-
-"Oh, leave me, my good woman!" moaned Emmie. "What else can I do but
-wait?"
-
-And the landlady, taking pity on what seemed to her an inordinate
-perturbation of spirit, left the visitor to herself, returning now and
-then to listen, and bringing up once an inquiry from the coachman.
-
-Emmie remained sitting on the edge of the bed. After a time she rose
-and looked with pointless minuteness at everything in the room, opening
-every drawer and reading every paper. She found all her letters tied in
-a bundle and wrapped in a silk neckerchief of her own, old, and that
-she had never missed. He had few possessions, and they made the heart
-sick to pore over.
-
-The light faded off the dull glass overhead. With chilled fingers
-she felt for the candle and lighted it. The landlady, coming up at
-dark, insisted on bringing her a cup of tea. The good creature had
-so disciplined her curiosity concerning the history implied in this
-gentlewoman's presence here that her delicacy now in endeavoring to
-discover was touching. Yet it went unrewarded. She stayed for the
-satisfaction of seeing the lady, who she thought looked fairly ill,
-refresh herself; and when it was delayed, tried by example to institute
-in the atmosphere that cheerfulness which is conducive to a better
-appetite--until asked again, with an imploring glance from eyes like a
-shot dove's, to go, for the sake of pity to go.
-
-Emmie now took down the few clothes she had seen on the hooks, with a
-vague idea that they required mending. She spread them out over her lap
-one by one, and passed her hand mechanically over the threadbare places
-where the black was green, over certain fringes about the holes, her
-heart feeling extraordinarily large and empty and silent. The rings on
-her cold hand glittered in the stroking movement, four rich rings with
-various stones, Gregory's gifts. Four--but she had five children.
-
-She stretched herself suddenly on the bed with her face in the old
-coat, the chill of the room slowly seizing upon her as she lay. She
-prayed in a distant, half-conscious way, without the least illusion
-that such words could persuade any one, for God to unmake everything
-that had happened to her, to let her have died, and Dorastus too, at
-his very birth; for them to have both been lying in the remote Dutch
-God's-acre these many years. For one fleeting moment memory gave back
-to her perfect an impression never before recalled. She seemed to have
-been roused from a stupor deeper than sleep; her eyes dwelt without
-wonder on what she thought to be a cathedral, with colored windows
-ablaze--it dwindled, until it was a mere night-light glimmering. Then
-shadowy people placed a little bundle in her arms. She tingled as an
-instrument whose every string is touched, a coolness rippled from her
-head to her feet, she knew a state never known before or since, a sense
-of unlimited wealth, a tenderness ineffable, a trembling outgoing of
-all her being to this handful of life. She heaved a great, faint sigh,
-and with effort unspeakable bent till her lips were pressed as to a
-warm rose-leaf. She sank to sleep, weak unto death, but blissfully
-happy--waking stronger and in a different mood.
-
-She wished she might not have waked, but been buried with her poor
-first baby in her arms, having ceased to be in the single moment
-wherein she completely loved it. Nothing that had happened to her since
-then seemed to her sweet; all was sicklied through by the consciousness
-of a crime gone before and daily confirmed, a woman's most monstrous,
-miserable crime--not loving enough. Nothing could make her withered,
-yellowed, cheapened life right now--she should have died at that
-moment. She said this over and over again to the powers that hear us,
-until all meaning had faded from it. She started, with a sense of
-something going out--she thought it must be the candle and she should
-be left in the dark. She sat up, frightened and freezing.
-
-The candle was burning quietly. Then, as she scrutinized the shadows
-ahead, loath to stir, she became aware of her rings having grown loose,
-they were in danger of dropping off; of her clothes having grown loose,
-they let the cold in under them; she felt a prickling at the temples,
-as if it were the gray creeping through her hair; she felt her features
-becoming pinched and old, beauty dropping from them like a husk. She
-wanted to cry then with a childish self-pity, but no tears would come;
-she did not know how to start the flood that she longed for to relieve
-her. She felt that she could only have screamed.
-
-She got up to rid herself of this congealment, and paced the room from
-corner to corner with sweeping black gown that told of the dusty things
-it had that day brushed.
-
-Company had come to the man below; they were making a great deal of
-very jolly noise. The candle guttered drearily; a reek of warm cabbage
-climbed up the stairway to her nostrils. She looked up on hearing a
-soft tapping--the black sky-light was spattered with silver tears, like
-a pall.
-
-She walked up and down, waiting and listening, everything taking more
-and more the quality of a dream wherein the most unnatural things grow
-ordinary. She had felt with a numbed sort of cowardly loathing that
-every moment brought her nearer to a black stream of realizing grief
-and remorse into which willy-nilly she must descend; but now it seemed
-in accordance with every known law that she should be here, destined to
-go on walking so forever, never arriving, nor anything ever changing.
-She heard herself say aloud in a light, indifferent tone, "He will
-never come. He will never come."
-
-For a moment she remembered Gregory, whose image seemed to rise out of
-the dim past: Gregory in the warm light of the hotel coffee-room, where
-dinner was set on a little table for three, dinner with wine-glasses of
-two shapes, and fruit and confectionery in crystal dishes. The thought
-worked upon her as a sweet smell in sea-sickness. All that had to do
-with Gregory seemed of negative importance; let him wait and wonder and
-worry. She felt hard-hearted towards him and all prosperous things.
-
-A burst of voices reached her through the floor; they were rough
-and hoarse, their mirth had turned to wrangling. It was so horribly
-lonely here! If they were suddenly possessed to climb the stairs, to
-burst in upon her! There was a crash of glass--she screamed; then a
-laugh--she shuddered--and the noise grew less. She breathed again, but,
-feeling her knees weaken, went back to the bed, and sat listening in
-fascination for the murmuring sounds to develop again into a quarrel.
-
-Suddenly, without the warning of gradually approaching sounds she had
-prepared herself for, she heard footsteps just outside.
-
-She knew them. An impulse to flee seized her. She looked about for a
-place to hide in, a place to get through, to jump from. She could not
-bear to see him, she felt as a murderess whose victim's ghost is upon
-her. His image flashed before her, pinched with hunger and cold, worn,
-embittered with disappointment, terrible with its long unrequited love
-turned to hatred--gray, with glassy eyes.
-
-She looked wildly, but she could not move. Besides, it was too late, a
-hand was on the door.
-
-As it opened, a deep stillness fell upon her, a suspension of all.
-
-A spell seemed to snap with his coming into the range of the
-candle-light; it was as to a child locked all night in a graveyard the
-cock-crow that lays the ghosts and heralds the day. She took a feeble
-breath and her heart gave a warm little throb. The very face! only, a
-young man's face rather than a boy's, thinner and bolder than ever,
-but, thank Heaven! not pathetic, not heart-breaking--but with red where
-red should be, with living light in the eyes.
-
-He held his violin; he was meanly clad, and his woollen muffler was of
-a cheap and dismal tint no mother would have chosen for him.
-
-He looked in surprise at the lighted candle, and quickly cast his eyes
-about, frowning to see who had taken this liberty. He caught sight of
-her, blinked and narrowed his eyes, to distinguish.
-
-She could not make a sound, or bring a vestige of expression to her
-face, or lift the pale little hands from her black lap--but sat
-transfixed under his questioning stare.
-
-He took a few steps, uttered a jubilant shout, and dashed towards her
-with outstretched arms--But he stopped before reaching her. He gave a
-glance around the horrible little room, a glance at her face with the
-eyes full of stern sadness, of reproach for the many, many lies he
-had told her. Abruptly he turned his back to her and dropped on his
-knees beside the table, saying furiously in disjointed syllables as he
-pressed his working face against his arms. "You won't understand! You
-never understand anything! I think sometimes that you are a fool!"
-
-But he felt her soft icy hands tremble about his head, he felt her
-fluttering breath in his neck. She was kneeling beside him, saying in
-choked whispers in the intervals of lifting her poor lips from his wet
-face, "Don't speak!--Don't speak!"
-
-She was straining him to her with a passionate tenderness never shown
-another being, raining on him the sweetest kisses.
-
-Both fell to crying as if their hearts would break.
-
-
-
-
-CHLOE, CHLORIS, AND CYTHEREA
-
-
-To make you acquainted by sight with young Chloris: she was a tall
-girl, a trifle meagre in outline, but not disagreeably so; she had
-light reddish-brown hair, and a sprinkling of freckles on a peachy
-skin, and those eyes with dead-leaf spots in them; altogether an air
-of openness and intelligent goodness that had quickly thrown the newly
-introduced off the question--was she pretty? But she was pretty, too,
-at her hours.
-
-On this day she had shut out the sun by means of the green Venetian
-blinds, and her room, like a submerged crystal chamber, was full of a
-watery light; she herself, white clothed, made a fair green-shadowy
-nymph in the dim green atmosphere.
-
-This was her first hour of complete conscious content. So rich was she
-in content that she had set herself to perusing a volume of the driest
-essays, a present for a diligent girl graduate.
-
-This sense of life unfolding like a normal flower and becoming the
-perfection of a rose was too much for the grateful heart to contemplate
-at its ease; some great demonstration towards God must follow on
-such contemplation. And Chloris in her security putting it off until
-bedtime, sat reading about the discipline of the will, the happy blood
-all the while keeping up in her veins a pleasant undercurrent babbling
-of other matters. Two hours more and the summer sun would be reaching
-its glorious haven, the cool flow in with the darkness, and time take
-up again that sweet scanning of the lines of her idyl....
-
-After reading the same passage some seven times, Chloris let her book
-lie a moment in her lap. How marvellous, how simple, how natural,
-how exquisite! Truly like the coming up of a flower. First, they
-were children together, fair-dealing, unquarrelsome playmates;
-then, schoolboy and schoolgirl, always good unsentimental friends;
-and finally, time, passing over them, slowly turned them to lovers;
-for this, no question, was whither they were tending: quiet,
-undemonstrative, unjealous, faithful, devoted lovers, presently married
-people, and by and by, God pleasing, tenants of one same grave. And
-this sweetness in the heart, this best of all earthly goods, God
-granted it to the humblest of his creatures! Why, then, were so many
-dissatisfied with this dear earth? Why were some on it interested in
-the discipline of the will? Ah, this summer, so endearingly begun, to
-be ended so--and Chloris, in a confusion of bliss, almost as if to give
-herself a countenance towards herself, took up her book again, finding
-moonlight and wild azaleas and whippoorwills between the lines, a
-dappled, singing shingle, a golden beach, velvet winds from over sea.
-
-The sunshine crept off the window-square; a sadness instantly invaded
-the room; Chloris jumped up to open the blinds. Time to dress! Then
-she did her hair as painstakingly as ably, put on a just-ironed white
-gown with a violet figure, and stood at the glass weighing the question
-of a velvet band around the neck. A fateful sound already was dawning
-on the distance outside, but she did not as yet hear it. Too hot! She
-tossed the velvet ribbon in the top bureau-drawer so unconcernedly
-as if not, at that moment, the Parcć had been tangling the skein of
-her life, and wondered idly if any one describing her would call her
-pretty. She thought, in conscience, not; but of a charming appearance,
-she hoped any one would.
-
-At this point penetrated to her brain a sound of voices out on the road
-beyond the lawn and the hedge. She looked between the curtains.
-
-Two ladies, unknown to her, were slowly sauntering past in the
-direction of the beach; one, near middle age, in a darkish gown; the
-other, young, in light colors of a distinctly fashionable tone; this
-latter carried over her shoulder a very large, fluffy, and, as it
-showed even at this distance, inexpressibly costly parasol. She turned
-her face a moment on the ancient vine-overclambered country-house, from
-one window of which peeped Chloris, looked it up and down and across,
-and turned away, making, Chloris supposed, some comment upon it to her
-companion.
-
-When they had disappeared from sight, Chloris, still at the window,
-musing on that face seen a moment, heard a leisurely jingling, and saw
-pass at a walking pace an empty shining carriage, drawn by two superb
-bays, driven by a man in livery.
-
-"It must be their turn-out," she concluded her wondering. "Who can they
-be but the people that were to move into the Beauregard cottage?"
-
-Then, as there was time to spare before tea, she sat down in the
-window. Shortly, was a lively jingling, a trampling, and the shining
-carriage bowled swiftly by on its way back from the beach; on its
-cushions, two ladies under a broad lacy parasol; a mighty cloud of dust
-running after it, never to over-take.
-
-Almost at the same moment Chloris saw Him, half the subject of her
-idyl, coming across the lawn.
-
-She went to meet him.
-
-"Who are the arrivals?" she asked at once.
-
-And here was pronounced, for the first time before Chloris, the name of
-Cytherea.
-
-"Cytherea, Damon? Who is Cytherea? Where does she come from? Do you
-know her?"
-
-"Very slightly," answered the young man; "I have met her in town. She
-had told me she thought of coming here for the summer, but I supposed
-it was conversation. I had completely forgotten, until I saw her this
-afternoon. She is entranced with everything! You can never see our poky
-little old place in its true light: you must get a description of it
-from her, Chloris. She will find it deadly dull before the end of a
-week; but for the moment she imagines quiet to be all she wants. She
-has been working like a slave at doing the proper thing in town."
-
-"She has brought her style with her, I see."
-
-"They are inseparable. She arrived yesterday on the late train, and you
-should see the change already in the Beauregard."
-
-"You have been there, then?"
-
-"Just a moment. They called to me from the veranda. They were having
-tea. Fancy their bringing down a grand-piano!"
-
-"Does she play much?"
-
-"I don't know. Very probably. She looks as if she might."
-
-"Oh, no, Damon! There you mistake. She looks as if she mightn't. She is
-very pretty, but I will vouch for it she can't play--"
-
-"Perhaps the cousin is the pianist. We shall see. I said you would call
-on them this evening."
-
-"I, Damon? The instant they arrive? Why did you say that? Why should I
-call before they have had time to breathe?"
-
-"Do you mind? I am so sorry. They asked me to come, and I half
-promised. It is likely to be somewhat slow for them here if we stand on
-ceremony. You will like them, I am sure."
-
-"You are sure? No doubt I shall. But to-night seems
-rather--instantaneous, if you don't mind. You will excuse me to them,
-and I will wait till they get a little more settled."
-
-"Settled! They have brought down an army of servants. The house looks
-as if they had lived in it for a month."
-
-"Make what excuse for me you please, then."
-
-"You won't come, Chloris?"
-
-"I think not. Not this evening. Go by yourself, and tell me all the
-great changes to-morrow. She will be much better pleased to see you
-than me, anyway."
-
-"Why do you say that?"
-
-"Her face, my dear boy! She can't play the piano, to speak of, and she
-greatly prefers men to women."
-
-"Perhaps you do her an injustice--"
-
-"Have I said anything disparaging? I signalled two virtues, I think.
-You don't really mind my not going, Damon? I had intended to write
-letters this evening, and mend table-cloths and read to father."
-
-When, shortly after tea, Damon had gone, Chloris tried to return
-herself into a truthful person by reading an hour to her father,
-and adding a dozen stitches to a delicate darn, and writing a note,
-which, when finished, she tore up. In order, as far as possible, with
-her conscience, she seated herself at the piano, a poor, tin-voiced
-instrument, tired of the sea-air. No one so well as Chloris, accustomed
-to its senile vagaries, could make the worn thing discourse music; her
-greatest successes on it were old-time compositions written in the day
-of spinet and harpsichord, minuets with a sprinkling of grace-notes,
-things not sonorous or profound. To-night, playing for no one's praise,
-she plunged haphazard into the melodies most sympathetic at the
-moment, stormy and subtle, melancholy and intricate and modern. It was
-Chloris's one proud gift, this effectiveness at the piano.
-
-Her father and his elderly sisters took themselves off to bed on the
-stroke of ten. Chloris remained on the adjustable stool, relieved at
-their going. She took up her playing again, without trying now to keep
-her eyes dry.
-
-The sweet, hot air of the day, cooling, was turned to dew outside;
-something of the same kind seemed taking place within herself--and
-the dew was tears. Why had she been so curiously uplifted that day,
-so at rest concerning every point in life, so sure of one thing at
-least? Nothing was changed, yet she saw no reason now for blessing
-this summer, golden hour for hour, and looking to it for the greatest,
-serenest happiness. Damon? What was Damon to her, or she to Damon? He
-had never in so many words made love to her, and she had never felt
-the first pang of wonder or disappointment at this. They had walked,
-rowed, ridden together. What of it? They should do these things again
-a hundred times, probably. What of that? What had she been dreaming,
-erewhile? Or was this the dream, this bad one? Something splendid and
-shining and purple had gone gray.
-
-While continuing mechanically to play, she looked through the open
-window into the summer night. It was rightfully her moon, that honeyed
-bright moon outside; her balm-breathing night; it was her silver sea
-yonder out of sight; they were her odorous pine-needle paths in the
-sighing grove--and she was robbed of them. And the sense of it gave
-her a seething in the heart, the like of which sensation she had never
-dreamed existed: as if a painful separation of all the atoms in it one
-from the other, as well as the stern conviction of being--oh, the novel
-idea!--a fool.
-
-"I won't have it!" she muttered, emphatically, without knowing
-definitely what she meant, and struck an angry discord.
-
-Through her playing reached her suddenly that merry harness-jingle of
-the afternoon, approaching, passing, fading away.
-
-"There they go--to the beach for the second time to-day--to look at the
-ocean by light of the moon."
-
-When in little less than an hour she heard the breaking again, on the
-quiet air, of the fatuous silvery jingle, she let her playing fall to a
-mere musical murmur, and listened, acutely, burning all the while with
-shame.
-
-"Go slowly, Humphrey," she caught, in a rich, sweet voice; "I want to
-listen to the music."
-
-"She plays really wonderfully. I have never heard playing I preferred
-to hers," came in a well-known deeper voice, at which Chloris's cheeks
-waxed hotter still. She pressed her foot on the pedal and shut herself
-within a wall of dinning, buzzing sound.
-
-When she had lifted it, and risen, the road was empty, the night
-silent, but for the crickets and the distant surf, as the grave.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Several days passed, each bringing Chloris its very natural request
-from Damon that she would go with him to pay her respects to the new
-neighbors; but with a perversity that surprised herself more livelily
-than him, she daily found a bad reason for putting off the duty. This
-hindered the progress of the idyl; for Damon had a delicate conscience
-where these strangers were concerned; he would not see them bored in a
-latitude whose honor, as an earlier inhabitant, he appeared to have at
-heart.
-
-And presently the atmosphere of the whole country-side seemed qualified
-by the presence of this Cytherea. It seemed to Chloris one could not
-escape the effect of her, without taking to the deepest of the woods.
-She was like an unstopped jar of some powerful essence; the little
-country world was redolent of her.
-
-Before the time Chloris had at last rigidly fixed for a formal visit
-came a message from Cytherea inviting her. Hard as she sought to
-discover a reason for misliking the dainty note, she could find none;
-it was irreproachable, and Chloris dressed herself for the occasion
-with a divided mind, the preponderant part of which was finally
-comfort: she should at least grapple now with a reality.
-
-She came to Cytherea's house at evening under Damon's escort. As one
-approached it among the trees it looked rather more like one's idea of
-an Eastern temple than a sea-coast cottage. The veranda was behung
-with colored paper moons, glowing subduedly among the vines; soft light
-streamed through lace from the changed interior.
-
-Excitement took Chloris from herself. Now the great adversary was
-welcoming her; and Chloris, at the touch of a warm, soft hand, said
-to herself, "What bugbear have I been frightening myself with?" and
-found ease and ability to converse, and release from that sense of
-disadvantage that had ridden her helpless heart like a nightmare.
-
-This atmosphere of the great world that went with Cytherea, how
-awakening, how satisfying after all, to the mind! Not the smallness
-of envy, thought Chloris, should keep her from giving it its due, or
-getting her benefit from it. In the distance and abstract she had hated
-it; but entered into, seen close, how unconscious, how inoffensive,
-nay, genial, it proved! What a great good, too, this wealth that
-permitted such distinction in luxury! Country girl as she was, it
-seemed to Chloris she was breathing her native air.
-
-At Cytherea's prayer she sat down at the piano, and to her own surprise
-played better than usual. When she had done, she begged the hostess to
-play. She forgot how she had declared that Cytherea's face showed no
-soul for music.
-
-She was surprised to hear the lady say, "I play hardly at all." She
-sincerely now could not believe it.
-
-"Ah, well!" laughed Cytherea; and good-naturedly she pushed a chair to
-the piano, and appeared preparing to begin.
-
-Chloris looked on in some wonder. Cytherea seated herself half away
-from the keyboard, one nonchalant arm over the back of her chair,
-her curly forehead on her hand; and, the first to smile at her own
-affectation, played an elaborate waltz, very languidly, with her left
-hand.
-
-Impossible for the eyes to leave her a moment while she performed
-her pretty trick; and ably enough she performed it, with an adorable
-cream-white hand.
-
-Chloris seemed to be slowly returning to consciousness. What perfection
-was here! Nature had given this creature everything. Criticism of her
-could only pass current under the stamp of envy. That gracious dark
-beauty, that warm radiance! And sparkle, and charm--with winningness,
-dignity, rarity, variousness!
-
-Chloris looked over at Damon; and the image of his fascinated face, as,
-a fond forgotten smile on his lips, he followed with his dark dog-eyes
-each movement of Cytherea's, affected her as a drop of poison let into
-her blood. She seemed to herself growing aged and haggard, even as she
-sat there, the dancing measure beating on her ear. Her hands lay cold
-in the lap of her best gown--modest made-over gown of pale purplish
-silk that she wore with a lace bertha of past fashion, once her poor
-mother's. "What is the use of trying to contend with a thing like
-that?" her heart asked, dully.
-
-An acuter pain pierced it when, the waltz played out, the laugh
-following it laughed out, and conversation resumed, she realized the
-faintest possible shade of disregard in Cytherea for the observations
-made by Damon. Cytherea prized her, Chloris's, utterances distinctly
-more; her, she seemed, from all her manner, to be honoring; him, for
-some reason, she held a trifle cheap. This seemed to Chloris just a
-little more unendurable than all the rest. And the dear boy, who,
-totally ignorant of the effect he produced, was in such high spirits,
-was so anxious to please, so cheerfully making a mantle in the mud of
-himself for the beauty to tread upon.
-
-At last it was over; Chloris lay in her own bed in the pale summer
-darkness, and felt she was the heart of the created world, and this
-pain man's old inheritance; it seemed the very essence of her being
-which was distilled slowly from her eyes.
-
- * * * * *
-
-On the day following, Chloris punctually sought Cytherea, for
-appreciation must be shown the cordiality of the beauty. That was a
-question apart from others: one is just and polite before anything
-else. A person overhearing the chatting and laughing of that afternoon
-in Cytherea's room would have thought certainly he listened to a pair
-of heart friends. The greater expense of admiration between the two
-women seemed of a truth to be borne by Cytherea. Chloris must look
-herself mentally over in astonishment at this value set on her by so
-great a judge. After the examination she felt foolish and humble. She
-felt profoundly how, all being different, she too could have worshipped
-Cytherea.
-
-And now she must be concerned in every sort of rural festivity
-organized by Damon for Cytherea's amusement; she must see the rival's
-first effect of being mildly bored by Damon's whole-souled dedication
-turn into an effect of indulgence, daily tinged with increased liking;
-for who in nature could fail to do final justice to one so simple, so
-sincere as Damon--Damon, with his dear, clear, curiously gentle Roman
-face and curly hair?
-
-"The heat does not seem to agree with you this summer, child," one of
-the aunts concluded her kindly meant scrutiny of Chloris's face; and
-the girl's heart tightened with affright.
-
-She stood that day before the glass, and, leaning her elbows on the
-bureau, seriously examined the tinted shadow. "All is of no use,"
-she said. "The more I care, the more I must look like that. Does it
-not seem a little strange that the more one loves the less lovely
-one should become? And a little hard, too, perhaps, oh, you, my God,
-with all respect, who have arranged these little matters?" And tired,
-discouraged Chloris began weakly to laugh aloud, though she was alone;
-and watched the grimacing of her own reflection with a sort of brutal
-contemptuousness. "Oh, you sickening object!" she exclaimed, and hid
-the delicate, nervous, tell-tale face in her hands. "This cannot go
-on!" she raved. "Human flesh cannot endure it--and I cannot alter it.
-All must soon see how it is with me. I can barely keep a hold on my
-temper now. I must get away. Damon shall court her; she shall bloom
-and smile at her ease for him. Welcome to each other--both! I shall be
-where I cannot see it. I refused to visit Fidele in her mountain home.
-I had a use already--God help me!--for every hour of the summer. I
-will write to say I repent. Then Damon, Cytherea, sing duets out in
-the canoe by moonlight; find clover-leaves for each other. I shall be
-scouring the mountain in search of healing herbs, and I do not doubt
-but, God helping, I shall find them. It is not in nature that a torture
-like this should last!"
-
-And Chloris, when next she appeared before the public eye, looked
-almost triumphant. And when her leave had been taken of all, and the
-swift air of change was blowing against her brow, her heart felt so
-strangely sound and quiet that she almost laughed, asking herself, "Why
-am I going away? I am recovered merely at the notion of it. Had I but
-known, I could have remained like a little heroine, and stood it out."
-
-But the hours passing broke down and carried off more and more all
-the gallant props of pride and resolution, and at last Chloris sat
-in the galloping car, a drooping runaway, who looked steadily out of
-the window, and saw the flying scene through tears. Contemptible,
-countrified Chloris, with her freckles and inferior clothes, and so
-ordinary notions of conduct and taste, running away from comparison
-with the peerless Cytherea; taking her envy and weakness out of sight
-till she got strength to disguise them.
-
-Now the scenery, which she had not been seeing, became more lonely and
-wild; the first low hills, heavy and slow in the general nimbleness of
-things, shifted themselves with an amiable clumsiness till they had
-closed in Chloris with her train; waking her suddenly, with a faintly
-happy sense of diversion from immediate suffering, to the feeling
-of being a child again visiting strange countries. Then wheeled and
-tumbled themselves about and came to meet her the little hills' big
-brothers, the mountains, with velvety sides, and rocky, rosy summits.
-A weight for no reason seemed to melt away from Chloris's chest as
-she looked up at them, and thought of living among them now for many
-a day--the distinguished, sage, cool, sturdily benevolent ones, so
-high above, so far from, the world she knew, down on the hot-colored,
-populous plain.
-
-Here she was at last, where she must alight; in a high, pure,
-crystal-clear atmosphere, at a little lost place, wildly green to eyes
-used to the sun-burned shore, forgotten of all the world but this train
-that remembered it for a second twice a day.
-
-And here was Fidele! It seemed to Chloris she had not half known, until
-this moment, how fond she was of Fidele. Tears sprang to her eyes on
-meeting the familiar eyes, and she embraced her old school friend with
-an impulse of overflowing gratitude. She felt like a storm-beaten lamb
-come to some sort of shelter at last.
-
-After the first moment's frantic clutch the two friends stood apart,
-holding hands, and looking each other fondly and frankly over, with
-wide, moved smiles. Fidele, seeing Chloris's eyes, wondered why tears
-had not come to her, too; and compared her own nature unfavorably
-with her friend's rich nature; and at this thought of her friend's
-deep, sweet nature, behold! tears were come in her affectionate eyes,
-too. Then both girls fell to giggling like schoolgirls, from mere
-association of this meeting with other meetings; and in a moment were
-talking lightly and inconsecutively, in an involuntary imitation of
-old days; and Fidele had taken her friend's arm tightly under her own,
-intertwined their fingers, and was dragging her along at a hop-and-skip
-pace.
-
-"What a godsend you are to me!" she exclaimed, rapturously. "There
-is not a soul in this forsaken place to whom one can talk like a
-Christian. Oh, but we are slow! Oh, but we are primitive! Oh, but we
-are simple!--"
-
-"What air it is!" Chloris breathed, profoundly. "How sweet! I never
-dreamed such green!--My dear, this is Paradise!"
-
-"The air is good enough. The grass is certainly green. But oh, the
-people are green too! But now you are here, we will change all this,
-dear. What a holiday! You will inspire us. We will rise up, and look
-into our closets, and fetch out wherewith to make a good impression
-on the stranger. You bring the very air of civilization with you in
-your clothes and hair. Where did you get it, Chlo--the general air, you
-know? How ravishingly you do your hair! And that little hat! Now, who
-in the world but you would have a hat like that? Oh, you rare darling!
-Do you know you are greatly improved? You are thinner, but it suits
-you. You always were a beauty, you know. Yes, you were! But you have
-acquired so much besides--such an interesting air--yes, you have!--so
-much expression. No one could see you without--gospel truth, Chlo! But,
-yes--I will--I will hold my tongue. Did you bring your music at least,
-for there is a piano, such as it is. Thank Heaven! You shall make their
-capture with song. They shall grovel. You know, dear, I am not really
-so silly as I seem; your arriving has turned my head. I always did
-adore you, but it is even better than I remembered."
-
-Chloris that night, alone at last, tried to readjust herself, to get
-back through this new experience her self of yesterday. The morning
-of her starting from home, but sixteen hours removed, seemed withdrawn
-into a much remoter past; a screen of glittering, crumbling, changing
-color was arisen between herself and it. She interrogated her breast
-curiously for that pain lately grown so familiar, forgotten for the
-first time only in these last hours; her breast did not answer by at
-once producing it. She goaded it tentatively with a sharp memory or
-two; it responded sluggishly--a divinely restful torpor was possessing
-it. She knelt by the window, and looked out at the still, strong, black
-mountains; instinctively she wafted profound thanks to their rude
-majesties. Far, far away in her dream at this moment, in an infinitely
-small, sun-warmed, murmuring plain, moved two tiny figures: the great
-Damon, who erewhile filled the entire horizon of her life, and the
-great Cytherea, who interposed her fair shape between her and the sun,
-shutting off the light of life--two tiny black figures, in a far-off,
-sunshiny place it fatigued her to think of. Only the mountains were
-big and important; and this cool, rough bedchamber was fifteen by
-twelve; only Fidele and herself and the people seen for the first time
-this evening were life-size and real.
-
-Stretching her tired limbs in the bed, that had nothing to-night in
-common with the rack, feeling natural sleep creep over her as it had
-long not done, she remembered with a vague joy that she was young; she
-divined a time ahead--perhaps not so far ahead either--when life would
-become possible again.
-
-She felt as if cosily tucked in and kept warm by the sense of Fidele's
-affectionate appreciation, and the evident admiration of her friends,
-called in even on this first evening to greet her. It was good. It
-restored one's lost self-confidence.
-
-The last thought Chloris was conscious of was not for Damon this
-once, but Demetrius. (Demetrius, I said. The reader here revolts.
-Chloris, Cytherea, a Chloe apparently still to come, and Fidele, Damon,
-Demetrius! Are these names to pass off on the discriminating reader in
-a tale that has nothing to do with the times of Theocritus or Addison?
-I confess it, I would have deceived. The persons in this story knew
-themselves by none of the names I have set down. They had been given
-at the font, and had by chance and inheritance come into, names that
-represented them far less well. Who can assume to fitly name a babe in
-arms? With a pure purpose I rechristened them. If you could know what,
-for instance, was the real name of Cytherea--But enough.)
-
-On the next morning arises Chloris, constating with thankfulness that
-no more than the night before is her heart bleeding at every pore.
-Filled with a venerable feminine desire to still increase the favorable
-impression she is sure she has made on the inhabitants of this high
-hamlet, she does her hair more than ever engagingly, puts on her
-crispest white gown with the lavender ribbons, and her broad straw hat
-with roses--the hat Damon had praised in the early part of the season.
-Something stirs in her sleeping bosom at the remembrance; she pauses
-in her task of pinning it on; the green-gray eyes with the brown spots
-grow fixed upon a vision, small as if seen through the wrong end of
-the opera-glass: On a shining shore, two little figures setting out
-in a sail-boat--only two, for the cousin has pleaded the disagreeable
-effect on her of the motion of the sea. Chloris sits down discouraged,
-feeling the blood drop from her face, and her heart present her with
-as finished a pain as ever. "It really matters so very little," she
-murmurs, firmly restraining from wringing her hands; "I only--only
-should like to know how long this kind of thing may be supposed to
-last!"
-
-Chloris and Fidele loiter about the garden full of morning sunshine,
-snipping off wet sweet-peas and roses, and reminding each other of
-things. Then, to please Chloris, they go for a stroll. Chloris is eager
-for a little climb. Heated and pleasantly tired, they come to the top
-of an eminence and sit down under the only clump of trees, in company
-of the unbudging horned cows, who know their claim is good, for they
-got there first. Fidele, leaning against a tree-trunk, fans herself
-more and more fitfully with her hat, and presently slumbers. Chloris,
-with her head in Fidele's lap, can never weary of looking off over the
-faint-hued valley which the shadows of clouds softly overstray. In this
-delicious bodily relaxation after hill-climbing in the sun, strange
-peace inundates her soul, and she entertains a superstition that it is
-flowing out to her from the mountains, and lies luxuriously, letting
-herself be done good to. "They know the secret of peace," she muses
-in her manner of a girl. "They cannot speak, but the effect of their
-knowledge radiates from them, and reaches us. The end of all--of all is
-peace. All works towards it incessantly, as one sees nature do towards
-harmony. Through these battles, to peace. Why can one not remember it
-down on the plain?" Now a cloud obscures the sun that gropes through
-it with long golden fingers; Chloris, dreaming, ponders half wistfully
-what it would be to remain here always, begin life anew, never return
-where one had suffered so much, and was surely so little missed!
-
-On their way home the girls meet Demetrius in his chaise, on his
-rounds. He reins in, and leans out of the leathern hood; with arms
-alink the girls stand in the white road below, in a great bath of
-light. They converse a moment; Chloris's lifted face, with the stamp on
-it still of her high thinking on the hill-top, is like a flushed pearl
-under her rose-laden hat.
-
-"You must let me show you the country," says Demetrius, before driving
-on.
-
-When he is gone, Chloris and Fidele naturally fall to talking of him.
-
-"How is it," says Chloris, "that a man so superior has attained his age
-and is merely a doctor in a place like this?"
-
-"My dear, we have our ailments like the rest. You don't grudge us a
-good doctor? He was born here, and after a good number of years down
-in the haunts of men came back in a natural sort of way. His father
-left him property up here. He is not ambitious; he has an abundance of
-money. He practises more or less for the love of it, and something to
-do. He is our most presentable man, and I want you to appreciate our
-good points in him. He adores music; the piano I spoke of is his. He
-has invited us up there; as soon as you feel inclined we will go."
-
-When, in a few days, Chloris consented to go, one-half the curious
-population went with her, to hear her play.
-
-The stiff farm-house parlor, closed nine-tenths of the year, had
-been made to breathe out its musty ice-house atmosphere; lighted and
-garnished and filled with guests, it scarcely recognized itself.
-
-Demetrius leaned on the instrument while Chloris played, his untrimmed
-head dreamily drooping, his eyes half closed, like a lazy cat's in
-the sunshine, when a hand is stroking it the right way. When she had
-finished, and all lifted their hands and praised and questioned her,
-he turned away with a sigh, saying nothing; and yet both knew that the
-truest music-lover of all was he; and when she played again it was
-chiefly with the thought of him as an audience.
-
-"What an air of intelligence your hands have when you play," he said,
-later. "But it is the same when you are crocheting, or just drumming on
-the chair-arm. They look as if they could talk, and utter such wise and
-witty things."
-
-A very friendly understanding was almost at once established between
-them; after which, he being such a sensible, direct, humorous man, well
-on towards middle age, and Fidele urging it, it seemed but proper to
-accept the offered seat in his chaise and see the country to the best
-advantage.
-
-They travelled many leagues behind his mare; they reached many points
-of vantage from which to look off at the view. Their conversation was
-half laughter; yet Chloris felt a serene security in the awe she knew
-she inspired.
-
-In the country doctor's company, such was his effect on her and hers
-on him, Chloris felt always sweetly young, and unusually well-dressed,
-unusually beautiful and brilliant--as well as experienced in the ways
-of the world, and possessed of a strong and complicated character.
-With all this, something of an impostor.
-
-After many rides, many conversations, the light about Demetrius was
-insensibly changed, and offered him under a different aspect. What
-genuine kindliness in his rather heavy yet well-featured face! what a
-good, sane, comprehensive intelligence under his shaggy hair! and under
-his country-made waistcoat a heart suspected to be tender and faithful!
-If he had done little, risen little, circumstances were more to blame
-than will; and it pierced through his mockery of himself sometimes that
-he was not all satisfied now with his condition; ambition that had
-slumbered gave signs of waking. And he was still young enough to mould
-his fate to a different shape.
-
-Chloris, regarding him, as she told herself, merely in the light of a
-specimen in which to study human nature, concluded that the woman who
-intrusted her happiness to Demetrius, at least in the event of her
-being a superior creature, would be in the main a very fortunate one.
-Nothing to fear in this man from inconstancy; no account to make with
-the inflammable imagination of youth; the gracious, condescending woman
-would get unbounded gratitude from his humility for every little favor
-shown. Her life would be so peaceful, so guarded from all trouble that
-care can keep at bay, so surrounded with delicate consideration.
-
-So the herds-grass purpled and was mown; the mustard yellowed, and its
-yellow vanished; and the apple began to redden. Then Demetrius, with a
-little help from everybody, gave a party--a party the like of which had
-not been given in the sleepy place since his sister's marriage a dozen
-years before; but this Chloris from afar, as Fidele had foretold, was
-inspiring the natives.
-
-And undoubtedly she was the queen of the party. To see her was to know
-as much. She wore a grand gown of pale purplish silk, with a real lace
-bertha (the talk of the place for nine days after), and white flowers
-pricked into the shiny structure of her hair.
-
-There was hired music, and dancing on the waxed kitchen-floor, and an
-opportunity never surpassed in the annals of the neighborhood to get
-enough of good things to eat.
-
-Towards the end, when one-half the simple revellers were gone, and the
-musicians were silenced with feeding, and the night air breathed in at
-the open windows with a feel of great lateness in it, came a petition
-to Chloris to play a piece on the piano.
-
-After various laughing negatives, yielding, Chloris, whose eyes
-were lightsome and dancing to-night, pushed away the stool, and,
-substituting for it a chair, sat a little sideways in this, with one
-arm over the back; and, a curious little smile playing on her lips,
-propped her ruffled head with its wilted flowers on her right hand;
-and, while the country innocents exchanged wondering glances, with her
-nimble left hand, amply sufficient to the task alone, began playing a
-waltz--a sweet, dreamy waltz.
-
-When they were at last home, and Fidele, half undressed, had come in
-to chat a moment with her friend, she asked, "Did you enjoy yourself,
-dearie?"
-
-"Immensely!" said Chloris. "How nice they all are to me! What dear,
-kind things they are! By the way, though, there was something I wanted
-to ask. Who is that dark-haired, plump young woman, with black bugle
-eyes, and a skin like red-and-white paper--quite passable-looking, if
-she did not look so sulky?"
-
-"What did she wear?"
-
-"Something pretentious but unbecoming. It had a lot of bead-trimming.
-Now, speaking of how nice every one and everything was, I except that
-girl's manner. _She_ was positively rude. I did not know how to take
-it. I have met her before, with all the others, and passed her on the
-road, bowing my best; but we have never more than exchanged a word or
-two, so I can have done nothing to offend her."
-
-Fidele was laughing.
-
-"Who is she?" asked Chloris.
-
-"That is Chloe," replied Fidele.
-
-"Chloe?"
-
-"You mustn't mind her rudeness, dearie. She is really a good sort of
-creature. But she is no doubt sorely tried."
-
-"What tries her? Why do you laugh?"
-
-"Demetrius! He was a shade partial to her before you came--not enough
-to cause comment in any place but this. And, even here, not enough to
-lay himself open to blame. It is a pity, though, that she can't keep
-her feelings hidden, and must vent her spite on you. Silly thing! I
-have no patience with that kind of girl."
-
-Chloris's fingers became absent among the hair they were braiding. She
-looked into the lamp-flame with a vacant expression.
-
-Fidele plied the brush in her tangled locks, and went on chatting.
-
-Suddenly Chloris, who for some time had not spoken, laughed.
-
-"What is it, dear?" asked Fidele, looking up at her friend, where she
-stood still staring in the lamp-flame. "Have I said anything funny?"
-
-"No, it was nothing you said. I was thinking--my mind travelled from
-one thing to another--you know how it jumps about--and I had to laugh,
-before I knew, at a stupid old circumstance--"
-
-"What circumstance?"
-
-"Oh, nothing, dear--a thing we learned in school, in French, a
-fable--never mind!"
-
-"A fable! My dear Chloris, how interesting! What fable?"
-
-"I can't quote it. I have forgotten my French. It was about a hare--a
-hare who ran away in terror of a bull, and in his flight came to a
-swamp where the frogs were just as much afraid of him. Wouldn't it be
-interesting to know the rest? What the hare did, whether he put on his
-fiercest outside, and tried to make the frogs quake in their little wet
-boots?"
-
-"What nonsense, you dear idiot! Ask Demetrius! He will give his
-best consideration to the frog question, and be impressed with its
-profoundness, while Chloe wears bead trimming and grows sage-color.
-Good-night, dear. I am dreadfully sleepy."
-
-"I mean you shall take me to call on Chloe some day soon. Now that I
-see her face with a different idea of her, it is a nice face! Poor
-child! I could never settle down contentedly under the notion that
-some one disliked me; could you? Even a dog! I have had such a happy,
-peaceful time here, in this dear little place, I want every one to feel
-kindly towards me when I leave."
-
-"You speak as if I were going to let you go, Chloris."
-
-"Oh, my dearest, I don't want to talk of it. I have put off talking of
-it, day after day, yet you must know that I can only stay a very little
-longer. Think of it! I came for a month, and I have stayed--how long is
-it? And father must be getting lonesome; and he so seldom writes, and
-then tells me little or nothing. And everything must be needing me--"
-
-"You extraordinary girl!" exclaimed Fidele, now very wide awake; "I
-swear I absolutely do not understand you! What do you mean? First you
-seem--you seem--and then--and then suddenly--"
-
-Fidele could not get out her words, for Chloris's hand was across her
-lips.
-
-"Hush!" she pleaded, quite earnestly. "Say nothing about it! When a
-thing has been spoken it seems to exist! You don't understand--I don't
-understand either. Who is consistent? Who knows what he wants? Who
-knows ever what he is doing? How many creatures we crush just walking
-across the grass! A path opens ahead, we take it blindly, not knowing
-whither it leads. With good reason we say we grope in the dark. Let us
-have the grace, then, when a moment's illumination is granted us, to
-go by its light. You don't know what I mean; I scarcely know myself.
-But don't try to keep me, dear! Remain at my side every minute that
-is left of my stay here; see me to the train without the shadow of an
-adventure--and I will love you all my life!"
-
-And a few days later the train that had brought Chloris picked her
-up again, all flushed with Fidele's last kisses, and flew with her
-homeward.
-
-She looked out of the window with other eyes than those she had first
-turned upon the mountains. Yet tears were in them, too, as she said,
-"Good-bye, dears! Your little sister leaves you, made quite well again.
-But never will she cease to love you. You shall be always in her
-dreams. And she will come back one day. When God sends her sorrows she
-will take refuge again with you."
-
-All through the first hours of being rushed along across the brilliant
-fading land, that she looked at, scarcely seeing, she retained a sense
-of exaltation. She seemed to herself as a sword after the proofs
-of furnace and ice-brook. She could have laughed to think of the
-philosopher that was going home in place of the pallid victim of an
-almost pathological sensibility.
-
-The mountains were dwindling to little hills; the latter-year sun was
-too barely bright: a crude earth-color and a sombre green took place
-of the angelic vague green and blue and pink of the dewier, earlier
-period. The plain was opening with its more trivial detail. Chloris's
-mind descended to its level, and projected itself with a limited
-emotion into the circumstances of the approaching home-coming. She felt
-prepared to endure whatever awaited her with grace and dignity; she
-felt sure, indeed, that she should feel very little. "I have learned
-the secret of life," she said to herself; "I have weighed and measured
-everything."
-
-At this same moment an elderly gentleman who had a daughter was
-thinking how touchingly young and inexperienced his fellow-traveller
-looked; in his old heart he felt sorry for her, somehow, for being so
-young.
-
-"I have weighed and measured everything," she said. "God is real, God
-lasts, and the love of Him. Human passion passes away. One might almost
-say that it does not exist. It is like a physical pain: it tortures,
-you try to locate it, you fix your mind upon the presumed seat of
-it--it is not there, there is no pain; and presently, when you are
-well, you cannot call up a remembrance of the sensation. I feel fitted
-to write a book on this subject. I thought I could never endure my life
-without Damon--dear, dear Damon! Yet I live and am improved in health.
-And, blinded by I shall never be able to explain what mist, I was
-beginning to adapt my mind to the thought of life with Demetrius, whom
-I pictured out of all proportion happy and grateful to me. Why more
-grateful than another? Thank God I was delivered from committing such
-a blunder! Ah, if I could teach Chloe all that I have learned! But she
-does not need it; she gets what she wants, for beyond a doubt Demetrius
-in time goes back to her. I--I am armed now at every point. I have a
-defence against every circumstance. The secret is: Nothing matters, but
-God above. And, knowing this, I mean to be very sweet to all at home,
-more thoughtful of every one, more generous of all myself--"
-
-She was running between familiar orchards and fields; the image of
-reaching home became very present, and a sweetness pervaded her rising
-excitement at the thought of touching so soon the home-hands. The
-mountains were thrown back to the horizon of her mind. Between the
-sandy hummocks, beyond the level salt meadows which she had left green
-and found russet, she caught glimpses of a great sapphire line. She
-began looking eagerly for the farm-house that meant she was within
-a minute of her journey's end. It flashed past. She gathered up her
-things; she came out on the platform, and with a joyous heart looked
-for her father's gray face and his hand extended to help her down.
-
-He was not there, and she got off the train alone, half-conscious of a
-dog-cart not far, with a horse behaving as a horse should not at the
-locomotive. The superbly indifferent iron monster puffed off, dragging
-after it its train; the indignant horse quieted down. She heard her
-name called; the voice was the man's in the dog-cart, it was Damon's.
-The philosopher hurried towards him with an insanely beating heart, an
-uplifted, greeting, beaming face.
-
-He helped her in, and his trickle of answers met her stream of
-questions, and her stream of answers his trickle of questions, as they
-jogged, tilting along between the dusty roadsides. The warm flood of
-her home-coming sensations subsided a little, and she turned to look at
-him, to take a fond inventory of his face--dear old faithful friend, so
-kind to fetch her himself! Her heart tightened. What was gone wrong
-with Damon?--Damon, whom she had been picturing so happy, and was just
-rousing her spirit to question casually concerning Cytherea. Even at
-that moment they were approaching her dwelling, when the question,
-if she could make her voice right, not too indifferent, nor yet too
-interested, would seem so in place.
-
-The grass on the lawn was long and uneven, constellated with twinkling
-autumn dandelions; the windows were shuttered, the veranda was empty,
-the chimney smokeless; a forgotten hammock rope, blackened and twisted
-by the rain, swung from a branch in front of the deserted house,
-thumping faintly against the tree-trunk. Chloris turned her lengthened
-face towards Damon; he lifted to hers a pair of very miserable eyes,
-and said, in an unresonant voice, "You should have got back in time for
-the cattle-fair. It was better than usual this year. Cookson's little
-mare took a prize."
-
-"You don't mean it!" faltered Chloris, and looking straight ahead set
-her lips hard, to keep down an impetuous flood of hatred for Cytherea.
-
-She saw the propriety of continuing to talk; but she could not keep her
-mind on it. Damon's powers of conversation, too, had failed him. He
-kept a stolid face to the horse's head; and they drove in silence to
-her door, where, alighting, she was swallowed in a sea of affectionate
-fatherly and auntly embraces.
-
-"I may stay to tea, mayn't I?" asked Damon, dully, from his corner,
-where he seemed sitting in the cold.
-
-Chloris gave him a place beside herself, and treated him like a sick,
-beloved child; but so tactfully, he could know only that it soothed.
-
-She let him lie on the sofa, afterwards, while she played, and the
-others slept in the upper chambers.
-
-She played with upturned face, pale and gentle and full of
-understanding; her eyebrows lifted, her eyes very large and kind. She
-would have thought that Damon slept, but that now and again he sighed.
-
-When at last she stopped to look for something among her music, to go
-on with, he got up and came to the piano-side. "I am so glad you have
-got back," he said, from all his heart; "you are such a brick. Good
-Lord, how I have missed you--"
-
-He turned away and went aimlessly to the window, and stood looking out.
-"I suppose it is time I went," he said. "But I hate to go home! I don't
-know what is come to me, I can't sleep these nights."
-
-Chloris had gone to the window, too, and stood beside him, her
-indulgent young face, that wore a world-old expression, turned on the
-dimly glimmering white petunia-beds outside.
-
-"Would you--won't you come out for a little stroll, Chloris? Run for
-your shawl, there is a dear girl, and let us go over to the beach. It
-isn't really late, and I am so restless, and I don't want to go alone,
-and it is so stuffy in my room at home."
-
-Chloris, without a word of demur, took her wrap and followed him. They
-walked side by side in silence; the sense they must have in common
-of the beauty of the night might at first take lieu of conversation;
-when that sense must be outworn, they still thought their thoughts in
-silence. Chloris knew the relief it is not to pretend; Damon thought
-only of himself in this hour.
-
-It was she, after a while, that led--tall, slender figure a step ahead
-of him, walking swiftly, with a sort of intrepidity. With his head a
-little bowed, his hands behind him, he followed.
-
-She led him to the beach, and without regard for time or fitness of
-things, farther and farther along the smooth sands, away from home;
-then, by a long loop, back to the homeward road, as if with the
-determination to tire him out. She herself was conscious of no fatigue.
-She felt like a spirit; her uplifted eyes seemed so expanded that they
-could take in all the radiant firmament.
-
-At last, as if awaking, he stopped and vaguely looked about, saying, "I
-am ready to drop! Good Lord, how far have you been taking me? Let us
-sit down a moment and rest."
-
-They were not far from home, on the edge of a familiar pine-grove that
-ran down to the lapping inland sea. She sank on the dry pine-needles;
-he dropped beside her, and, tearing off his cap, unquestioningly laid
-his head in her lap.
-
-"Does it ache?" she asked, softly.
-
-"Yes," he murmured. "Rub it."
-
-She passed her hand with a measured motion across his forehead, pushing
-up the heavy hair. She felt his face for an instant press closer to her
-knees; volumes of gratitude seemed expressed in the impulsive movement.
-She continued her stroking with a quiet, sisterly hand, her swelling
-heart suddenly choking her. She had him back, that she knew beyond a
-doubt. Broken, disillusioned, his heart seared by the image of another,
-he was hers, as he lay there thinking of that other. Hers to help, to
-heal, to make love her as much as she loved him. And a flood of human
-passion, the sensation she had decided--God forgive her!--disposed of
-forever, surged in her. Her eyes brimmed over with happy tears. Why
-should there be any feeling of bitterness mixed in a feeling so sweet?
-Why should the hurt to one's vanity be remembered in such a situation?
-Why not be finally glad to give more than one received, offer something
-whole for something broken, bless beyond all desert? No--no--that other
-could never have loved him so! Fate had meant well by him in putting
-her out of reach; this sorrow of his should pass away and be as if it
-had never been. Chloris felt in herself such inexhaustible wells of
-tenderness and patience, she knew hers was the good title; she knew she
-could be sufficient--make Damon forget. Her heart sang a song of praise
-and victory, while her hand smoothed his forehead with the fancy that
-it brushed away the image of Cytherea, fatal line by line.
-
-Ineffable fatigue drew her down from high serene thoughts to thoughts
-nearer earth. She ached; waves of unnatural sensation swept through
-her, but she would not move. The weight of his dear head was better
-than ease.
-
-While she took patience till he should be ready to rise and go sensibly
-home to bed, a whimsical image formed in her brain: Herself, and
-to one side of her, a little higher, Cytherea, and to the other, a
-little lower, Chloe--and beyond Chloe, in the descending line, some
-poor woman, not pretty or winning at all, to whom Chloe must appear
-a half-divinity; and above Cytherea, in the ascending line, another
-fairer than she, for, when all was said, there must be in this world
-women even fairer than the great Cytherea, of whom she, perchance,
-lying awake in her queenly bed, would think with anguish, confessing
-herself helpless to struggle. Poor Cytherea, then, in her turn! Chloris
-framed a sincere wish for her continued happiness, and that in the
-event of despised love God should grant her to become a philosopher.
-And her imagination went on feebly, whimsically, weaving. Still another
-fairer still creature above Cytherea's victress--still another at the
-other end, to whom the envier of Chloe should be an object of envy--and
-so on, till the chain seemed to extend from the seraphs down to the
-last of the most degraded race, and take a slightly humorous aspect.
-"It pleases the powers to be merry," thought Chloris, and was conscious
-of no irreverence in the conceit.
-
-"Wake up, Chloris!" came Damon's voice, sounding more as it had used to
-sound, before he was so grown-up, and had untoward things happen to him
-in his sentiments.
-
-"I have not been asleep!" she said, sheepishly, "except below my knees."
-
-"I won't contradict you, but when I struck a light you were nodding and
-smiling away to yourself like a little China mandarin. Have you any
-idea of the time it is? Well, I won't enlighten you. What a crazy thing
-we have been doing! Come, dear, let me help you up. I hope to Heaven
-you haven't taken cold. Hello, can't you walk straight? What a brute I
-am! Take my arm--"
-
-And laughing weakly and wearily, they set out staggering across the dim
-stubble-field that separated them from home.
-
-"Dear old Chloris!" Damon murmured, pressing her arm to his side.
-"Best girl in the universe! You can never think what a comfort it is to
-have you home again. I feel more like myself. I think that to-night I
-shall sleep."
-
-
-/$
- THE END
-$/
-
-
-
-
-
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-<pre>
-
-Project Gutenberg's The Hundred and Other Stories, by Gertrude Hall Brownell
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll
-have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using
-this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: The Hundred and Other Stories
-
-Author: Gertrude Hall Brownell
-
-Release Date: October 11, 2019 [EBook #60469]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HUNDRED AND OTHER STORIES ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Carlos Colon, the University of California and
-the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
-http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
-generously made available by The Internet Archive/American
-Libraries.)
-
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-
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-</pre>
-
-
-
-<p class="box">Transcriber's Notes:<br />
-<br />
-
-
-Blank pages have been eliminated.<br />
-<br />
-Variations in spelling and hyphenation have been left as in the
-original.<br />
-<br />
-A few typographical errors have been corrected.<br />
-<br />
-The cover page was created by the transcriber and can be considered public domain.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<div class="figcenter4em" id="illo1"><img src="images/illo1.jpg" width="500"
-height="694" alt="" title="" />
-<div class="caption">
-[Page 140]<br />
-"SHE LOOKED AT HIM A LONG MOMENT WITH FIXED EYES"
-</div></div></div>
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h1>The Hundred and Other Stories</h1>
-
-<p class="center"><i>By GERTRUDE HALL</i></p>
-
-<p class="p2 center">WITH ILLUSTRATIONS</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter2em"><img src="images/illo2.jpg" width="100"
-height="128" alt="" title="" /></div>
-
-<p class="p2 center">NEW YORK AND LONDON<br />
-HARPER &amp; BROTHERS PUBLISHERS<br />
-1898</p></div>
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="center p6">Copyright, 1898, by <span class="smcap">Harper &amp; Brothers</span>.</p>
-<hr class="tb" />
-<p class="center"><i>All rights reserved.</i></p></div>
-
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="center p6">TO</p>
-<p class="center p2">MY MOTHER</p></div>
-
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2>CONTENTS</h2>
-
-
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="5" summary="indice">
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdrb" colspan="2">PAGE</td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl smcap"><a href="#THE_HUNDRED">The Hundred</a></td>
-<td class="tdrb">1</td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl smcap"><a href="#THE_PASSING_OF_SPRING">The Passing of Spring</a></td>
-<td class="tdrb">59</td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl smcap"><a href="#PAULA_IN_ITALY">Paula in Italy</a></td>
-<td class="tdrb">104</td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl smcap"><a href="#DORASTUS">Dorastus</a></td>
-<td class="tdrb">142</td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl smcap"><a href="#CHLOE_CHLORIS_AND_CYTHEREA">Chloe, Chloris, and Cytherea</a></td>
-<td class="tdrb">204</td>
-</tr>
-
-</table></div>
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="5" summary="illos">
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl"><a href="#illo1">"SHE LOOKED AT HIM A LONG MOMENT WITH FIXED EYES"</a></td>
-<td class="tdrb" colspan="2"><i>Frontispiece</i></td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl"><a href="#illo3">"SHE LET BONNET HAVE ONE OF HER ARMS"</a></td>
-<td class="tdc"><i>Facing page</i></td>
-<td class="tdrb">6</td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl"><a href="#illo4">"AT LAST THEY WERE GONE"</a></td>
-<td class="tdc">"</td>
-<td class="tdrb">10</td>
-</tr>
-
-<tr>
-<td class="tdl"><a href="#illo5">"PAULA HERSELF SAT BY THE WINDOW"</a></td>
-<td class="tdc">"</td>
-<td class="tdrb">130</td>
-</tr>
-
-</table></div>
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="p6"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-
-<h2 id="THE_HUNDRED">THE HUNDRED</h2></div>
-
-
-<p>Mrs. Darling was dining from home,
-and every heart in her little establishment
-rejoiced over the circumstance, for it meant
-less work for everybody, with an opportunity
-to enjoy Christmas Eve on his own account.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Bonnet, the lady's-maid, with the
-plans she had in mind for the evening, was
-scarcely annoyed at all when her mistress
-scolded because the corset-lace had got itself
-in a knot.</p>
-
-<p>The chamber was full of a delicate odor of
-iris. The gas-globes at the ends of their
-jointed gold arms looked like splendid yellow
-pearls; on the dressing-table under them
-glittered a quantity of highly embossed silverware,
-out of all reasonable proportion with
-the little person owning it, who sat before<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span>
-the mirror beautifying her finger-nails while
-Mrs. Bonnet did her hair.</p>
-
-<p>"Mind what you are about," the mistress
-murmured, diligently polishing.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Bonnet instantly removed the hot
-tongs from the tress she was twisting, and
-caught it again with greater precaution.</p>
-
-<p>"Mind what you are about," warned Mrs.
-Darling, somewhat louder, a beginning of
-acid in her voice.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Bonnet again disengaged the hair
-from the tongs, and after a little pause, during
-which to make firm her nerve, with infinite
-solicitude took hold again of the golden
-strand, and would have waved it, but&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>"Mind what you are about!" almost
-screamed little Mrs. Darling. "Didn't I <i>tell</i>
-you to be careful? You have been pulling
-right along at the same hair! <i>Do</i> consider
-that it is a human scalp, and not a <i>wig</i> you
-are dealing with! Bonny, you are not a bad
-woman, but you will wear me out. Come,
-go on with it; it is getting late."</p>
-
-<p>Before the hair-dressing was accomplished
-Mrs. Darling rolled up her eyes&mdash;her blue<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span>
-eyes, round and angelic as they could sometimes
-be&mdash;at the reflection of Mrs. Bonnet's
-face in the mirror, and said, meekly: "Bonny,
-do you think that black moiré of mine
-would make over nicely for you? I am going
-to give it to you. No, don't thank me&mdash;it
-makes me look old. Now my slippers."</p>
-
-<p>While Bonnet was forcing the shoe on her
-fat little foot, Mrs. Darling's glance rested,
-perhaps by chance, on a photograph that
-leaned against the clock over the mantelpiece.
-It was that of a still young, well-looking
-man, whose face wore an unmistakable
-look of goodness, of the kind that
-made it what one expected to read under it
-in print&mdash;the Rev. Dorel Goodhue. There
-was another more conspicuous man-photograph
-in the room, on the dressing-table, in
-a massive frame that matched the toilet accessories.
-It stood there always, airing a
-photographic smile among the brushes and
-hand-glasses and pin-boxes.</p>
-
-<p>"I suppose," said Mrs. Darling, while she
-braced herself against Bonnet to help get
-the small shoe on&mdash;"I suppose I have a very<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span>
-bad temper!" and she laughed in such a sensible,
-natural, good-natured way any one
-must have felt that her exhibition of a moment
-before had been a sort of joke. "Tell
-the truth, Bonny: if every mistress had to
-have a certificate from her maid, you would
-give me a pretty bad one, wouldn't you?
-But I was abominably brought up. I used
-to slap my governesses. And I have had
-all sorts of illnesses; trouble, too. And I
-mostly don't mean anything by it. It is just
-nerves. Poor Bonny! I treat you shamefully,
-don't I?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, ma'am," said the lady's-maid, expanding
-in the light of this uncommon familiarity,
-"I would give you a character as
-would make it no difficulty in you getting a
-first-class situation right away; you may depend
-upon it, ma'am, I would. Don't this
-shoe seem a bit tight, ma'am?"</p>
-
-<p>"Not at all. It is a whole size larger than
-I wear. If you would just be so good as
-to hold the shoe-horn properly. There, that
-is it."</p>
-
-<p>She stood before the bed, on which were<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span>
-spread two long evening dresses. A little
-King Charles spaniel had made himself comfortable
-in the softest of one. His mistress
-pounced on him with a cry, first cuffed, then
-kissed and put him down. "Which shall I
-wear?" she asked.</p>
-
-<p>Bonnet drew back for a critical view, but
-dared not suggest unprompted.</p>
-
-<p>"The black and white is more becoming,
-but the violet crape is prettier. Oh, Bonny,
-decide quickly for me, like a tossed-up penny!"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, I think now I should say the violet,
-ma'am."</p>
-
-<p>"Should you?" Mrs. Darling mused, with
-a finger against her lip. "But I look less
-well in it. Surely I had rather look pretty
-myself than have my dress look pretty,
-hadn't I? Give me the black and white,
-and hurry. Mr. Goodhue will be here in a
-second. Bonnet!" she burst forth, in quite
-another tone. "You trying creature! Didn't
-I <i>tell</i> you to put a draw-string through that
-lace? Didn't I <i>tell</i> you? <i>Where</i> are your
-ears? <i>Where</i> are your senses? What on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span>
-<i>earth</i> do you spend your time thinking
-about, I should like to know, anyway? I
-wouldn't wear that thing as it <i>is</i>, not for&mdash;not
-for&mdash;Oh, I am tired of living surrounded
-by fools! Take it away&mdash;take it
-away! Bring the violet!"</p>
-
-<p>At last she was encased in the fluffy violet
-crape, and at sight of the sweet picture she
-made in the mirror her brow cleared a little;
-she looked baby-eyed and angelic again, with
-her wavy hair meekly parted in the middle.
-While she looked at herself she let Bonnet
-have one of her arms to button the long
-glove.</p>
-
-<p>"Ouch! Go softly; you pinch!" she murmured.</p>
-
-<p>Bonnet changed her method with the silver
-hook, adjusted it anew, and pulled at it
-ever so softly.</p>
-
-<p>"Ouch! You pinch me!" said Mrs. Darling,
-a little louder.</p>
-
-<p>Bonnet stopped short, and looked helplessly
-at the glove, that could not be made
-to meet without strain over the plump
-white wrist. After a breathing-while, with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span>
-stealthy gentleness, again she fitted the silver
-loop over the button, and, with a devout
-inward appeal to Heaven, tried to induce it
-through the button-hole. She had almost
-succeeded when Mrs. Darling screamed,
-"Ouch, ouch, ouch! You pinch like <i>anything</i>!
-I am black and blue!" And tearing
-her arm from the quaking servant, began
-fidgeting with the button herself, soon pulling
-it off.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter2em" id="illo3"><img src="images/illo3.jpg" width="500"
-height="355" alt="" title="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p>"SHE LET BONNET HAVE ONE OF HER ARMS"</p>
-</div></div>
-
-
-<p class="p2">"Bonnet, how many times must I tell you
-to sew the buttons fast on my gloves before
-you give them me to put on?" she asked,
-severely. "No, they were not!" she stormed,
-and peeled off the glove, throwing it far
-from her, inside out.</p>
-
-<p>There was a knock, and a respectful voice
-saying, outside the door, "Mr. Goodhue is
-below, ma'am."</p>
-
-<p>"Get a needle," Mrs. Darling said, humbly,
-like a child reminded of its promise to
-behave, and waited patiently while the button
-was sewed on, and held out her arm
-again, letting Bonnet pinch without a murmur.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span>
-A final bunch of violets was tucked in the
-bosom of her gown, and she was leaving the
-bedroom, when, as if at a sudden thought,
-she turned back, went to the door of a little
-room leading from it, and stood looking in.</p>
-
-<p>"Aren't they lovely, the hundred of them?"
-she gushed. "Did you ever see such a sight?
-One prettier than the other! I almost wish
-I were one of the little girls myself!"</p>
-
-<p>"Them that gets them will be made happy,
-sure, ma'am. I suppose it's for some
-Christmas-tree?"</p>
-
-<p>"They are for my cousin Dorel's orphans.
-Pick up, Bonny. Open the windows. Mind
-you keep Jetty with you. Don't let him go
-into the kitchen. I am sure they feed him. I
-shall not be very late&mdash;not later than twelve."</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Darling went down the stairs, followed
-by Bonnet with her mantle and fan,
-and Jetty, who leaped and yapped in the delusion
-that he was going to be taken for a
-walk.</p>
-
-<p>The gentleman waiting below came forward
-to take Mrs. Darling's hand.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Bonnet listened to the exchange of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span>
-polite expressions between them with no
-small degree of impatience; it seemed to
-her they might just as well have made these
-communications later, in the carriage.</p>
-
-<p>At last and at last they were gone.
-With the clap of the door behind them the
-whole atmosphere of the house changed as
-by enchantment. A door slammed somewhere;
-a voice burst out singing below-stairs;
-the man in livery who had held the
-door for Mrs. Darling and her reverend cousin
-leaned over the banisters and shouted, heartily,
-"Catherine! I say, Catherine!" Mrs.
-Bonnet fairly scampered up-stairs, with the
-mistaken Jetty, who thought this was the
-beginning of a romp, hard after her, trying
-to catch her by the heels.</p>
-
-<p>She entered Mrs. Darling's room with no
-affectation of soft-stepping, threw up the
-window&mdash;the sharp outer air cut into the
-scented warmth like a silver axe&mdash;and began
-pushing things briskly into their places. She
-digressed from her labors a moment to get
-from the closet a black moiré, which she examined,
-then replaced.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>
-Now came a rap at the door, and a voice
-only a shade less respectful than before, saying,
-"Miss Pittock is waiting below, ma'am."</p>
-
-<p>"Very well, I will be down directly," said
-Mrs. Bonnet. "Come here, Jetty!"</p>
-
-<p>Jetty, instead of coming, ran round and
-round among the chair legs, waving his tail
-in a graceful circle, eluding Mrs. Bonnet's
-hand not by swiftness, but craft.</p>
-
-<p>"Come here, you little fool," muttered
-Bonnet; and as her bidding, however severe,
-availed nothing, she cast Mrs. Darling's
-wrapper over the little beast, and got him
-entangled like a black-and-tan butterfly in a
-pocket-handkerchief. She snatched him up
-squirming a little, tucked him tightly under
-her arm, and ran up-stairs to her own chamber
-on the third floor. There she dropped
-him; and when she had donned her black
-coat and bonnet, gloves and galoshes, during
-which preparations Jetty was leaping and
-yapping like crazy, in the supposition again
-that they were going for a walk together,
-she turned out the light and shut the door
-against his wet, black nose. His reproach<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span>ful
-barks followed her down the passage.
-"It's good for 'is lungs," she said, grimly,
-hurrying over the stairs.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter2em" id="illo4"><img src="images/illo4.jpg" width="500"
-height="755" alt="" title="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p>"AT LAST THEY WERE GONE"</p>
-</div></div>
-
-
-<p class="p2">And here at the foot was Miss Pittock,
-looking quite more than the lady in her mistress's
-last year's cape.</p>
-
-<p>"I hope I haven't kept you waiting, Miss
-Pittock."</p>
-
-<p>"Quite the contrary; don't mention it,
-Mrs. Bonnet. Oh, the shops is a sight to
-behold, Mrs. Bonnet! I never seen anything
-like this year. It do seem as if people
-made more to-do than they used about
-Christmas, don't it? Are we ready, Mrs.
-Bonnet?"</p>
-
-<p>"I am if you are, Miss Pittock."</p>
-
-<p>"Now, what kind of shops do you fancy
-most, so we'll go and look into their show-windows
-first?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm sure I don't know. What do you
-prefer yourself, Miss Pittock? We've time
-to see most everything of any account, anyhow.
-She's not coming home before twelve."</p>
-
-<p>"No more is mine. Suppose we go first
-to the Grand Bazar. They've always got<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span>
-the most amazing show there. That you,
-Mr. Jackson? A merry Christmas to you,
-Mr. Jackson, and a happy New Year!"</p>
-
-<p>For just as they reached the door they
-found the butler letting himself out too.
-He did not sleep in the house, and was taking
-the opportunity to-night to leave early.
-For a second he could not return Miss Pittock's
-salutation, his mouth being crowded
-with a last bite snatched in haste. When he
-had swallowed, he grinned and excused his
-hurry, holding the door for the ladies.</p>
-
-<p>"Sorry I ain't going your way, ladies," he
-said, amiably, and the door closed behind the
-three.</p>
-
-<p>In the kitchen the cook, with a face like a
-pleasant copper saucepan, rosy and shining
-and round, was moving about leisurely, giving
-this and that a final unhurried wipe.
-She wore a face of contentment; it was her
-legitimate night out; with a good conscience
-presently she was going up to make a change,
-and off to her family.</p>
-
-<p>A young woman in a light gingham and
-frilled cap sat watching her sulkily, her<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>
-hands idle on her embroidered muslin apron.
-A girl of perhaps eighteen, capless, in a dark
-calico that made not the first pretension to
-elegance, was washing her face at one of the
-shiny copper faucets. She vanished a moment,
-and came back with her damp hair
-streaked all over by the comb. The cook
-was gone.</p>
-
-<p>"You going, too, I suppose?" said the sullen
-parlor-maid.</p>
-
-<p>"Why, yes. 'Ain't I done everything?
-There's no need of my staying, is there?"
-The kitchen-maid went home for the night,
-too.</p>
-
-<p>"No, I don't suppose there is. I just
-thought you might happen to be, that's all."</p>
-
-<p>The kitchen-maid sat down a minute, in a
-tired, ungirt position, and looked over at the
-parlor-maid with good-natured young eyes
-grown a trifle speculative. The latter let
-her glance wander over the day's newspaper,
-brought down-stairs until inquired for.</p>
-
-<p>"Tell you what I'd like to do!" exclaimed
-the kitchen-maid.</p>
-
-<p>"What'd you like to do, Sally?"</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"That's to come back again after I've
-been home for just a minute."</p>
-
-<p>The parlor-maid looked up, unable altogether
-to conceal her interest. The house
-was very quiet. Through the clock-ticks,
-at perfectly regular intervals, came the muffled
-sound of Jetty's disconsolate yaps. Neither
-of the girls appeared to hear them.</p>
-
-<p>"You don't mean just to oblige, do you,
-Sally?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, I'd do it in a minute for nothing
-else beside, but that ain't quite all I was
-thinking of just this once. Miss Catherine"&mdash;she
-hesitated, then, enthusiastically&mdash;"have
-you seen 'em up-stairs? the whole hundred
-of 'em laid out off Mrs. Darling's bedroom?
-I saw 'em when Mrs. Bonnet she sent me up
-for the lamps to clean. Law! Wouldn't
-any child like to see a sight like that!
-There's a little girl in my tenement, she'd
-just go crazy. Do you think there'd be any
-harm in it if I was to bring her over and let
-her get one peep? She's as clean a child as
-ever you saw. She comes of dreadful poor
-folks, but just as respectable! She never<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>
-seen anything like it in her life. Law, what
-would I have done when I was a young one
-if I'd seen that? I'd thought I was dead
-and gone to heaven. I say, Miss Catherine,
-d' you think any one would mind?"</p>
-
-<p>"How'll they know?" said Miss Catherine,
-callously. "Look here, Sally; you go along
-just as fast as you can and fetch your young
-one. And when you've got back, perhaps
-I'll step out a minute, two or three doors up
-street, and you can answer the bell while I'm
-gone. Now hurry into your things. I'll give
-you your car fare."</p>
-
-<p>"Miss Catherine, you're just as good as
-you can be, and I'll do something to oblige
-you, too, some time," said Sally, her face
-aglow with delight; and having hurried into
-her jacket and tied up her head in a worsted
-muffler, was off.</p>
-
-<p>She almost ran over the packed snow
-down the street. She had soon left the
-quiet rows of private dwelling-houses and
-come where hundreds of lights glittered
-across the rose-tinged snow. At every few
-rods a street band tootled and blared, cov<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span>ering
-the scraping of snow-shovels and jingle
-of bells. "How gay it is!" she thought;
-"won't it be a treat!"</p>
-
-<p>She plunged into a mean, small street,
-leading off a mean but tawdry larger one,
-where things hung outside the shops with
-their prices, written large, pinned on them,
-and had soon come to the house where her
-family lived.</p>
-
-<p>She went in like a great gust of fresh air.
-In less than five minutes she came out, leading
-by the hand a little girl who, from being
-very much bundled up about the shoulders,
-and having brief petticoats above thin black
-legs, looked top-heavy. She was obliged to
-nearly run to keep up with Sally, and was
-trying to get out words through the breathlessness
-occasioned by hurrying and laughing
-and coming so suddenly into the frosty
-air.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, lemme guess, Sal, and tell me when
-I'm hot. Is it made of sugar?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, it ain't."</p>
-
-<p>"But you said it was a treat, didn't you,
-Sally?"</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"I did that. But ain't there all sorts of
-treats? There's going to the circus, for instance.
-That hasn't any sugar."</p>
-
-<p>"Is it a circus, Sally? Is it a circus?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, it ain't a circus, but it's every bit as
-nice."</p>
-
-<p>"Is it freaks, Sally? oh, tell me if it's
-freaks? It isn't? Are you sure I shall like
-it very much? It's nothing to eat, and it's
-nothing I can have to keep, and it's not a
-circus. What color is it? You'll answer
-straight, won't you?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, it's every color in the world, and
-striped and polka-dotted and crinkled and
-smooth. There's a hundred of it."</p>
-
-<p>The child would have stopped short on the
-sidewalk the better to centre her mind on
-guessing, but Sally dragged her briskly along.
-At the top of the street they came to a standstill.</p>
-
-<p>"What is it?" asked the child.</p>
-
-<p>"We're going to take the car," said Sally,
-grandly.</p>
-
-<p>"O&mdash;h!" breathed the child.</p>
-
-<p>"I guess you never stepped on to one of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span>
-these before. This, Tibbie, is nothing but
-the beginning. Hi! Hi!"</p>
-
-<p>The swiftly gliding, fiery, formidable car
-stopped, and the hoarse buzz died out in a
-grinding of brakes; the light was dimmed a
-minute, then flared out again, as if the monster
-had winked. Sally and Tibbie climbed on; it
-moved, banging and whirring on its farther
-way. They had to stand, of course, but
-what of that? Tibbie looked all about with
-her shining, intelligent brown eyes, and felt
-a flush of gratified pride to see Sally, when
-the conductor had squeezed himself near,
-pay like the others; it had seemed impossible
-that some compromise should not have
-to be made with him. She slipped her hand
-in Sally's, and was too occupied with the
-people and the colored advertisements to
-talk.</p>
-
-<p>"Did you get anything for Christmas yet,
-Tibbie?"</p>
-
-<p>She moved her head up and down, bestowing
-all her attention on a parcel-laden
-woman bound to drop something the next
-time she stirred.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"What did you get?"</p>
-
-<p>"A doll's flat-iron and a muslin bag of
-candy. I put the iron on to heat, and it
-melted. I gave what was left to Jimmy."</p>
-
-<p>"Who gave them to you?"</p>
-
-<p>"Off the Sunday-school tree. But there
-were no lights on it, because it was daytime.
-Sally, I know something that has a hundred&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"What's that? Let's see if you've got it
-now?"</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie looked a little shamefaced, then
-said, "A dollar&mdash;is a hundred cents."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, and would I be bringing you so far
-just to show you a dollar? This is worth as
-much as a dollar, every individual one of
-them. Tibbie, it's just the grandest sight
-you ever seen&mdash;pink and blue and yellow
-and striped&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie, who was looking Sally fixedly in
-the face, as if to see if her secret anywhere
-transpired, now almost shouted, "It's marbles!"</p>
-
-<p>"Aw, but you're downright stupid, Tibbie.
-I don't mind telling you I'm disap<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span>pointed.
-You're just a common, every-day
-sort of young one, with no idear of grandness
-in your idears at all. And you don't
-seem to keep a hold on more than one notion
-at a time. First it's a dollar. Is that
-pink and blue? And next it's marbles. Is
-marbles worth a dollar apiece? Now tell me
-what's the grandest, prettiest thing that ever
-you saw&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"... Angels."</p>
-
-<p>"D' you ever see any?"</p>
-
-<p>"In the church window, painted."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, this is as handsome as a hundred
-angels, less than a foot tall, all in new
-clothes, with little hats on."</p>
-
-<p>"Sally, I think I know now. Only it
-couldn't be that. There couldn't likely be
-a hundred of them all together, for, oh, Sally,
-it isn't a store we are going to! You didn't
-tell me it was a store."</p>
-
-<p>"No more it is. We're going straight to
-Mrs. Darling's house, and no place but there.
-Here's where we get off."</p>
-
-<p>The big girl, with the small one, alighted
-and turned into the quieter streets, Tibbie,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span>
-as before, almost running to keep up with
-her long-legged friend.</p>
-
-<p>They went into Mrs. Darling's by the
-back door. In the kitchen stood Miss Catherine
-in a coat with jet spangles and a hat
-with nodding plumes, pulling on a pair of
-tight kid gloves.</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie at sight of her hung back, murmuring
-to Sally, "You didn't tell me! You
-didn't tell me!"</p>
-
-<p>"Now, you'll be sure she don't touch anything,
-Sally," said Miss Catherine, looking
-Tibbie over.</p>
-
-<p>"Naw! She won't hurt anything. I've
-told her I'll skin her if she does."</p>
-
-<p>"Are her hands clean? You'd better give
-them a wash, anyhow."</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie dropped her eyes, a little mortified.</p>
-
-<p>"All right! I'll wash 'em," said Sally.</p>
-
-<p>"She'd better scrape her boots thoroughly
-on the mat, too, before going up."</p>
-
-<p>"I'll look after all that, Miss Catherine.
-Just you go long with an easy mind."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, I'm off. I won't be long. Why
-don't you give her a piece of that cake? It's<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>
-cut. But make her eat it down here. Good-night,
-little girl. I guess you never was in a
-house like this before. Good-night, Sal. Is
-my hat on straight?"</p>
-
-<p>She was gone, and the whole house now
-belonged to Sally and Tibbie. They looked
-at each other in silence a moment; the glee
-they felt came shining to the surface of their
-faces and made them grin broadly at each
-other.</p>
-
-<p>"She's particular, ain't she?" said Sally.</p>
-
-<p>"I just as soon wash them again, but
-they're clean. I thought you said she was
-gone off to a party and going to be gone till
-real late."</p>
-
-<p>"Law!" roared Sally, and plumped down
-to contort herself in comfort. "She thought
-it was Mrs. Darling herself! Law! law!"</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie laughed, too, but not so heartily,
-and the great time began.</p>
-
-<p>Sally went for the cake-box, and Tibbie
-made a thoughtful selection; and "Who'll
-ever find a few crumbs?" said Sally. "Come
-along!"</p>
-
-<p>The great child and the little, full of a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span>
-sense of play, went up the stairs hand in
-hand. Tibbie could scarcely take account
-of what was happening to her, such was the
-pure delight of the adventure.</p>
-
-<p>"This is the dining-room; this is the sitting-room;
-this is the receiving-room; this,
-now prepare&mdash;this is Mrs. Darling's own
-room!"</p>
-
-<p>Up went the light; the rose-paper walls,
-the rose-chintz dumpy chairs, the silver-laden
-dressing-table, the pink and white draped
-bed, leaped into sight. Tibbie stood still,
-open-lipped.</p>
-
-<p>"Ain't it handsome?" asked Sally, with
-the pride of indirectly belonging to such
-things. "Come along, I'm going to wash
-your hands in Mrs. Darling's basin."</p>
-
-<p>She drew Tibbie, who gazed backward
-over her shoulder, into the little alcove where
-the marble wash-stand was, and turned on
-stiff jets of hot and cold water together. At
-the sweet odor of the soap tablet pushed
-under her nose, Tibbie's attention was won
-to the operations of washing and wiping.</p>
-
-<p>"But where is there a hundred of any<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>thing?"
-she asked, faintly, looking all
-about.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, this ain't it yet! This is only like
-the outside entry. Now, Miss Tibbs, what
-kind of scent will you have on your hands?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Sal!"</p>
-
-<p>"Shall it be Violet, or Russian Empress,
-or&mdash;what's this other&mdash;Lilass Blank? or the
-anatomizer played over them like the garden-hose?"</p>
-
-
-<p>They unstopped the bottles in turn, and
-drew up out of them great, noisy, luxurious
-breaths. "This, Sally, this," said Tibbie at
-the one with the double name like a person.
-Sally poured a drop in her little rough, red
-hands, and she danced as she rubbed them
-together.</p>
-
-<p>"Why are the little scissors crooked?" she
-asked, busily picking up and putting down
-things one after the other. "What for is
-the fluting-irons? What for is the butter in
-the little chiny jar? What's the flour for in
-the silver box? Oh, what's this? Oh, Sal,
-what's that?"</p>
-
-<p>Sally picked up the powder-puff and gave<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span>
-her little friend, who drew back startled and
-coughing, a dusty dab with it on each cheek.
-"It's to make you pale," she said. "It ain't
-fashionable to be red." She applied the puff
-to her own cheeks as well. The two stood
-gazing in silent interest at themselves in the
-mirror, and gradually broke into smiles at
-the incongruous reflection. Sally suddenly
-bent one cheek, hitched up one shoulder, and
-brushed half her face clean; then did the
-same by the other cheek with her other
-shoulder. Tibbie, who had watched her,
-aped her movement faithfully. They looked
-at themselves again, and Tibbie remarked,
-"But I ain't red, anyhow."</p>
-
-<p>"Law! that you ain't! When are you
-going to begin to get some fat on your
-bones, Tibbie, or to grow?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know. Who's the gentleman,
-Sal, in the pretty frame?"</p>
-
-<p>"That's Mrs.'s husband. He ain't been
-living some time."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, he isn't living. Listen, listen, Sally!
-What's that noise I keep hearing? I've
-heard it ever since we came."</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Sally listened. "That? That's Jetty. It's
-a little bit of a dog, up at the top of the
-house."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, a little bit of a dog! Why does he
-bark all the time?"</p>
-
-<p>"I guess Mrs. Bonnet shut him up there
-alone in the dark till she came back from
-gadding with Miss Pittock."</p>
-
-<p>"Couldn't we get him, Sally? I hate to
-hear him. I want to see him awfully."</p>
-
-<p>"All right. You wait here. But don't
-you hurt anything, or I'll skin you, sure, like
-I told Miss Catherine. And whatever you
-do, don't you go into the little room till I
-come back."</p>
-
-<p>"Is the hundred there?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, it's there."</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie, left alone, looked at the half-open
-door a minute, then turned away from it: all
-was so interesting, anyhow, she could wait
-with grace. With the palm of her hand,
-which she frequently stopped to smell, she
-stroked the fine linen pillows on the bed,
-and the white bear rugs on the floor, and the
-curtains: everything felt so soft. She ex<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span>amined
-the features of the Rev. Dorel Goodhue
-with approbation, proposing to ask Sally
-whether she knew him.</p>
-
-<p>The bark came nearer and nearer; when
-the door opened, in tumbled a small silky
-ball of black dog, who almost turned himself
-inside out in his delight at being in
-human company again. He ran floppily
-about and about the floor, in his conscious,
-cringing, graceful way, waving his tail round
-and round, tossing back his long silk ears to
-bark and bark.</p>
-
-<p>At last the girls between them had him
-caught. He was squeezed tight in Tibbie's
-arms, where he wriggled and twitched, covering
-her cheeks and ears with rapid dog-kisses,
-interspersed still with rapturous
-barks. "Oh, oh!" cried Tibbie, trying vainly
-to hold him still long enough to get a
-good kiss at him. "Isn't he soft? Isn't
-he sweet? And he has a yellow ribbon.
-Oh, do keep quiet, doggie dear&mdash;you
-tickle!"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't think we will bother any more
-about seeing the hundred," said Sally, a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span>
-feigned coldness in her tone, and stood aloof
-watching child and dog.</p>
-
-<p>"I had forgotten, honest, Sally."</p>
-
-<p>"Put him down and come on, then."</p>
-
-<p>"Mayn't I hold him and come too?"</p>
-
-<p>"No; for when you see 'em, you'll drop
-him so quick you'll like as not break his
-legs."</p>
-
-<p>"All right. Down, Jetty! Down, sir!
-Come along, Jetty; come right along, dear!"</p>
-
-<p>"Wait a minute. I'll go in first and turn
-up the light. When I sing out, you come
-on."</p>
-
-<p>She went ahead, and Jetty precipitated
-himself at her heels. Tibbie stooped with
-anxious inducing noises, and "Come back,
-sir! Come back!"</p>
-
-<p>"Ready!" shouted Sally.</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie made a bound for the door, but at
-a step's distance was overcome by a curious
-timidity, and instead of bolting in, pulled
-the door towards her tremulously, and pushed
-aside the lace hanging with a cold hand.</p>
-
-<p>There lay the hundred, all on a couch under
-the gas-light, arranged as in a show<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span>-window,
-propped by means of silk cushions
-so as to form a solid sloping bank&mdash;the
-hundred beautiful dolls.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, ma'am?" asked Sally, expectantly.</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie said nothing, but looked at them
-vaguely, full of constraint.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, I never!" said Sally. "Don't you
-like 'em? What on earth did you expect,
-child? Well, I never! Well, if it don't beat
-all! Why, when I was a young one&mdash;Why,
-Tibbie girl&mdash;don't you think they are
-<i>lovely</i>?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes," she whispered, moving her head
-slowly up and down, then letting it hang.</p>
-
-<p>"Aw, come out of that," said Sally, understanding.
-"Come, let's look at 'em one by
-one, taking all our time. Come to Sally,
-darling, and don't feel bad. We'll have lots
-of fun."</p>
-
-<p>She took the not unwilling Tibbie by the
-hand, and led her nearer the banked splendor.</p>
-
-<p>The dolls were all of a size, and, undressed,
-would with difficulty have been told apart,
-except, perhaps, by their little mothers. All<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span>
-were very blond and wide-eyed and bow-lipped;
-all, though dressed like little ladies,
-had the chubby hands of infants; and their
-boots were painted trimly on with black,
-and their garters with blue. But how to
-render the coquettish fashionableness with
-which these wax-complexioned darlings were
-tricked out! all equally in silks and satins
-and velvets and lace, so that there could be
-no jealousies; all with hats of like beauty
-and stylishness.</p>
-
-<p>Sally seated herself on the floor beside the
-low couch, and pulled Tibbie down into her
-lap, who drew up Jetty into hers. Tibbie
-had recovered the power to speak, but was
-still unduly sober and husky.</p>
-
-<p>"I had almost guessed it, you know," she
-said, "when you said like angels with hats
-on. But I couldn't think there would be a
-hundred unless it was a store. What has
-the lady so many for?"</p>
-
-<p>"Bless your heart! They ain't for herself!
-They are for orphans in a school that
-a minister-cousin of hers is superintendent
-of. She has been over a month making<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span>
-these clothes. Every Wednesday she would
-give a tea party, and a lot of ladies come
-and sit stitching and snipping and buzzing
-over the dolls' clothes the blessed afternoon.
-And I washed the tea things after
-them all!"</p>
-
-<p>"They are for the orphans. Are there a
-hundred orphans?"</p>
-
-<p>"I guess likely."</p>
-
-<p>"Suppose, Sally&mdash;suppose there were only
-ninety-nine, and some girl got two!"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, we two have got a hundred for to-night,
-Tibbie, so let's play, and glad enough
-we've got our mothers. Look, this is the
-way you must hold them to be sure of not
-crumpling anything."</p>
-
-<p>She slipped her hand deftly under a doll's
-petticoats, and they peeped discreetly at the
-dainty under-clothes, crisp and snowy, more
-lace than linen.</p>
-
-<p>"My soul and body! Did you ever see
-the like!" exclaimed Sally, spurring on Tibbie's
-enthusiasm by the tone of her voice,
-making the wonder more, to fill her little
-friend's soul to intoxication. Tibbie easily<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span>
-responded. She fairly rocked herself to and
-fro with delight.</p>
-
-<p>"And not a pin among 'em," sighed Sally.
-"All pearl buttons and silk tying-strings and
-silver hooks and eyes; and, mercy on my
-soul! a little bit of a pocket in every dress,
-with its little bit of a lace pocket-handkerchief
-inside. D'you see that, Tibbie? And
-not two alike!"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, but there are some <i>'most</i> alike!" said
-the quick-eyed Tibbie; "only, scattered far
-apart. There are three with the little rose-bud
-silk, and here's more than one with the
-speckled muslin. Perhaps those will be given
-to sisters."</p>
-
-<p>"Come on, Tibbie; let's choose the one
-we would choose to get, if we was to get
-one given us. Now, I would like that one
-in red velvet. It's just so dressy, ain't it,
-with the gold braid sewed down in a pattern
-round the bottom. Which would you
-take?"</p>
-
-<p>"I should like the one all in white. She
-must be a bride; see, she has a wreath and
-veil and necklace. I should like her the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span>
-very best. But right after that, if I could
-have two, I should like this other in the
-shade-hat with the forget-me-nots, and
-forget-me-nots dotted all over her dress.
-And, see! the sky-blue hair-ribbon. If I
-could just have three of them, then I would
-take this one too, with the black lace shawl
-over her head fastened with roses instead of a
-hat. She has such a lovely face! And after
-her I would choose this one in green&mdash;or
-this one in pink; no, this one here, Sally,
-just look&mdash;this one in green and pink. And
-you, if you could have more than one, which
-would you choose, after the red one?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, I guess I'd choose this one in
-white."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh no, Sally; don't you remember?
-That is the bride, the one I said the very
-first. You can have all the others, Sally
-dear, except the bride. But let's see, perhaps
-there are two brides. Yes!&mdash;no!&mdash;that
-is just a little girl in white, without a wreath.
-Should you like her as well? I was the first
-to say the bride, you know."</p>
-
-<p>"Law! I wouldn't have wanted her if I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span>
-had known she was a bride! I take this
-one, Tibbie&mdash;this one with the feathers in
-her hat. Ain't she the gay girl, in red and
-green plaid! And this purple silk one, and
-this red and white stripe, and this&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Wait! That's enough, Sally; that makes
-four for you. It's my turn now. If I could
-have five, I should take one of the rose-bud
-ones&mdash;no, two of them, so's to play I had
-twins. Say, Sally, let's choose one apiece&mdash;first
-you one, then me one, till we've chosen
-them all up, and got fifty apiece. Your turn."</p>
-
-<p>They chose and chose, pointing each time,
-and detailing the costume of the chosen one
-aloud with the greatest enjoyment.</p>
-
-<p>Jetty had laid himself down beside them,
-stretched his silky length, his nose between
-his paws. He was very tired. Perhaps
-among the things his great moist eyes were
-wondering about was the reason of this fatigue
-in his vocal chords.</p>
-
-<p>"For my forty-fifth one," said Sally, placing
-her forefinger pensively against the side
-of her nose, "I choose her&mdash;her with the little
-black velvets run all through."</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"Taken already," said Tibbie, promptly.</p>
-
-<p>"Then her over there, with the short puffy
-sleeves."</p>
-
-<p>"Taken!"</p>
-
-<p>"She taken too? Well, then, her in the
-pink Mother Hubbard with the little knitting-bag
-on her arm."</p>
-
-<p>"Taken, Sally! Can't you remember anything?
-Those belong to me; I chose them
-long ago. These are the only not taken
-ones; here and here and here and here and
-here and here and&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Aw, you're a great girl!" cried Sally,
-suddenly throwing her arms around Tibbie
-and casting herself backward on the floor
-with her, where they tumbled and rolled,
-laughing, Jetty jumping about on top of
-them, barking hoarsely in a frenzy of fun.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Tibbie, ain't we having a time of it?"</p>
-
-<p>And Tibbie almost shouted, "Yes!&mdash;ain't
-we having a time of it!"</p>
-
-<p>"Ain't this a night?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh yes!&mdash;ain't it a night!"</p>
-
-<p>Sally tickled and poked her affectionately;
-and she tried to tickle Sally, and laughed till<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span>
-she was almost hysterical, and never remembered
-who she was, or thought of anything
-outside this little room, but was filled with a
-sense of the crazy deliciousness of the moment.</p>
-
-<p>At last, weak with laughter, she disentangled
-herself from the still panting and
-laughing Sally on the floor, and insisted on
-returning to the business of the distribution.
-She felt in the mood to be very funny. She
-jerked herself up and down and all about in
-a senseless sort of way.</p>
-
-<p>"Here, Sally, now stop laughing and let's
-finish. It was your turn. You'd best take
-that one; she looks more as if she might be
-a little girl of yours, her cheeks are so red&mdash;red
-as a great big cabbage!" This remark
-seemed to Tibbie so inexpressibly humorous
-that she laughed again till she nearly cried.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, it's sure none of 'em has legs to
-make 'em look like children of yours," retorted
-Sally; and that seemed a greater joke
-still. With a foal's action, Tibbie flung out
-the thin black legs with the awkward boots
-at the ends of them, and dropped to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span>
-floor squirming and laughing. Sally caught
-her suddenly again, and cast herself backward
-with her as before, in a gale of mirth.</p>
-
-<p>There they were frolicking, when the peal
-of a bell rang brightly across their giggles.</p>
-
-<p>Sally sat up instantly, and all in Mrs.
-Darling's house was for a long moment still
-as the very grave, for Sally had instinctively
-clapped her hand over Jetty's ready
-muzzle.</p>
-
-<p>"Murder!" whispered Sally, solemnly, at
-last.</p>
-
-<p>"What is it?" breathed Tibbie in her ear.</p>
-
-<p>"Was it the front door or the back door?"
-asked Sally.</p>
-
-<p>"I dun'no', Sally."</p>
-
-<p>Sally had picked herself up, and was stroking
-down her things.</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie stood beside her, looking up in her
-face, her own a trifle pale.</p>
-
-<p>Sally's irresolution lasted only a second.
-She cast an eye on the dolls, saw that they
-were very nearly as she had found them,
-and turned down the light. She looked
-about Mrs. Darling's room to see that all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span>
-was as usual, and turned down the lights
-there too, after glancing at the clock.</p>
-
-<p>"It ain't late," she murmured. "It ain't
-a bit later than I supposed. It can't be her!
-It might be Mrs. Bonnet, though, getting
-home before Catherine, who's got the key.
-I shouldn't want her to catch you here for
-the whole world. Look here, Tibbie. You
-stand in here till I find out who it is, and if
-it's Mrs. Bonnet, you'll have to stay hidden
-till I find a good chance to come and smuggle
-you down."</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie waited in the farthest corner of the
-hall closet, holding her breath, conscious of
-nothing at first but excitement and fear of
-she did not know quite what. After a little,
-the thought drifted across her fervent hope
-for present safety, that though she got well
-out of this scrape, she would probably never
-see those radiant dollies again, her own half
-or Sally's.</p>
-
-<p>She heard a whiffling and scratching at
-the closet door. Here was Jetty, dear Jetty,
-whose actions would surely betray her to
-Mrs. Bonnet when she came that way. Tib<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span>bie
-whispered: "Go right away, Jetty.
-There's no one in this closet; go right
-away!" and pressed backward to the wall,
-among the water-proofs, feeling like a little
-criminal with the police on her track.</p>
-
-<p>"Tibbie!" came Sally's voice from the
-foot of the stairs: it sounded perfectly calm,
-and pleasant with a sort of company pleasantness.
-"It's all right. It's just a friend
-dropped in for a moment. You can go in
-again and play a little longer. Turn up the
-light carefully. But remember what I told
-you."</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie instantly forgot all her fears. She
-came out and picked up Jetty; she kissed
-him, explaining why she had told him to
-go away. The doggie seemed to bear no
-malice.</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie tiptoed into the doll-room, and established
-herself on her knees before the
-dolls, happier than before, with a profounder
-happiness, in a stiller, almost devotional
-mood. It was so different being alone with
-them, having them quite to herself, to play
-with in her own way. She took up the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span>
-bride with a reverent hand, and after long
-contemplating her, very seriously, tenderly
-kissed her. Then, touching them as if they
-had been snow-flakes almost, she moved the
-impressive little persons about, until her
-fifty were on one side and Sally's on the
-other.</p>
-
-<p>"I can't play they're a family," she reflected;
-"they are too many all the same
-age, and all girls. I will play they are a
-hundred girls in an orphan asylum&mdash;a very
-rich orphan asylum&mdash;and that I am the superintendent.
-To-morrow I am going to give
-each a beautiful doll for a Christmas present.
-This little girl's name is Rosa. That
-one is Nelly. That one is Katy. That one
-is Sue." She named every one, passing
-through the list of such names as Golden-locks,
-Cherrylips, Diamondeyes, to end with
-such invented ones as Kirry, Mirry, Dirry,
-Birry. They seemed so much completer with
-names. Tibbie would say, "Miss Snowdrop!"
-And Miss Snowdrop, with Tibbie's assistance,
-would rise, answering, "Yes, ma'am."
-"Spell knot." "N&mdash;O&mdash;T!" "Not at all,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span>
-my dear. Sit down again, my dear. Miss
-Lily; stand up, miss, and see if you can do
-any better this morning."</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly, after having taken the asylum
-through a day's exercises, Tibbie tired of
-being the superintendent. She craved a relation
-more intimate, more affectionate, with
-the dollies. She did not believe a superintendent
-would have kissed and fondled them
-as she longed to do. She selected a dozen
-or so, to play they were her children. She
-gave them their supper; she washed them
-and made them say their prayers. She told
-them it was bedtime, and she would now
-rock them to sleep. She turned down the
-light, to make all very real, and drawing out
-a low rocking-chair that seemed made for
-her purpose, seated herself in it with two
-dolls on each arm, the rest made as comfortable
-as possible on her lap; for not one
-of them, after being included in the family,
-could, of course, be left out of the rocking.
-She rocked gently, now hushing, now
-singing "Bye-low-low-baby," her maternal
-heart swollen very large. In time, one of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span>
-the daughters became fractious and restless;
-she had to have medicine, and the rocking
-for her sake had to become almost violent.
-Nothing would soothe her but that the chair
-should rock backward and forward to the
-very tip ends of its rockers. This had its
-good effect at last; all the dolls were fast
-asleep, and the mother, her duty done, composed
-herself to take a well-earned rest too.
-This thought was no doubt suggested to
-Tibbie by the fact that she was really getting
-sleepy. It was long past her bedtime.</p>
-
-<p>She was not far from napping when she
-became aware of Sally saying: "Lively, Tibbie!
-Miss Catherine has got back. We
-must be packing off home. I declare I lost
-sight of the time. There's just no one like a
-fireman to be entertaining, I declare. Mrs.
-Bonnet won't be long coming now."</p>
-
-<p>She turned up the light, and saw the dolls
-so disarranged.</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie was rubbing her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>"Law!" said Sally, a little blankly. "Do
-you suppose we can get them to look as
-they did? I hope t' Heaven she didn't know<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span>
-which went next to which. Do you remember,
-Tibbie, where each belonged?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes. The bride went here. The rose-buds
-here. The purple and gray here. I
-can put them all back, every one."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, we're all right!" said Sally, cheerfully
-again. "No one'll ever know in the
-world they've been disturbed."</p>
-
-<p>She had drawn off to get the general effect,
-and compare it with the earlier image
-in her brain, when she made a dive for one
-of the dolls, the last one, that the sleepy
-Tibbie had handed her up off the floor.</p>
-
-<p>"Tibbie!" she said, in a ghastly whisper,
-"look at its head!"</p>
-
-<p>Something had happened to it, certainly.
-Its pink-and-white face was pushed in; it
-looked very much as if a chair-rocker had
-gone over it. Tibbie looked at it, not understanding
-at all.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Tibbie!" groaned Sally, "now what'll
-we do!"</p>
-
-<p>"I didn't do it," said Tibbie, lifting a pale
-face with perfectly truthful eyes. "I was
-just as careful! She was one of my daugh<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span>ters;
-I had her in my lap rocking her to
-sleep with the others; she must have slipped
-off my lap&mdash;there were too many for one
-lap, I guess&mdash;but I didn't step on her.
-Sure, Sally&mdash;sure as I live, I didn't step on
-her!"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, law! You must have rocked on
-her. Oh, Tibbie, what'll I do!"</p>
-
-<p>She picked up the doll to examine it, but
-saw at once that the little face could not be
-made right again.</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie watched her without a word; her
-voice seemed to have sunk far below reach.</p>
-
-<p>Sally moved the dolls about tentatively,
-so that ninety-nine should cover the same
-space as a hundred. Certainly at first
-glance the one she held would never be
-missed. "But what's the good?" she said,
-throwing it down. "They'll count them,
-and there'll be the mischief of a fuss. Oh,
-Tibbie"&mdash;and she had reached the end of
-her good-nature&mdash;"why did I ever think of
-bringing you here? Now look at all the
-trouble you've brought on me, when I thought
-you'd be so careful! And I told you and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span>
-told you till I was hoarse. And here you've
-ruined all!"</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie's eyes could not bear to meet Sally's.
-She stood with her hands behind her,
-speechless and motionless, in the middle of
-the floor.</p>
-
-<p>"I declare I don't know what to do!" Sally
-exclaimed, dropping her arms and sitting
-down before the wreck. "I wish I'd never
-seen 'em! I wish there'd never been any
-Christmas! Oh, it's a great job, this! Tibbie,
-you've done for me this time!"</p>
-
-<p>At this moment Miss Catherine came in
-to hurry them.</p>
-
-<p>"She's broken one of them!" blurted out
-Sally.</p>
-
-<p>"You don't mean it!"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, she has!"</p>
-
-<p>"Let me see it. Oh, you wicked child!
-She's smashed its face right in! Now who
-ever heard of such naughtiness?"</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie twisted about ever so little, to get
-her back turned towards the two.</p>
-
-<p>"She didn't do it out of naughtiness at
-all, Miss Catherine. She's as good a child as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span>
-ever lived!" At that Tibbie's shoulders gave
-a little convulsive heave. "It was an accident
-entirely. But that's just as bad for
-me. I suppose I shall have to say it was
-me did it."</p>
-
-<p>"And then they'll say what was I doing
-while the kitchen help was poking about in
-the Mrs.'s chamber. No; you don't get me
-into trouble, Sally Bean! You'd much better
-say how it was&mdash;how that you asked me
-if you just might bring a little girl to look,
-and I said you might, out of pure good-nature,
-being Christmas is rightly for children,
-and I've a softness for them. And
-while we was both in the kitchen, she slipped
-away from us and came here and done it
-before we knew. And the child herself will
-say that it was so. You'll be packed off
-dead sure out of this place if you let on you
-meddled with them yourself. She won't
-have her things meddled with&mdash;There
-goes the bell. There comes that old cat
-Bonnet."</p>
-
-<p>She hurried off to open.</p>
-
-<p>"What's the matter?" said Mrs. Bonnet,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span>
-elevating her eyebrows as she appeared at
-the door and looked into the room she had
-expected to find dark and still. She held a
-paper bag; she spoke with an impediment
-and a breath of peppermint. Her cheek-bones
-and the end of her nose were brilliant
-pink with the cold. "What child is that?"</p>
-
-<p>Miss Catherine was behind Mrs. Bonnet.
-"It happened this way, Mrs. Bonnet," she
-began, and told the story with a little tactful
-adaptation to the intelligence of her audience,
-ending, "And now, Mrs. Bonnet, what's
-to be done?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, you wicked little brat!" said Mrs.
-Bonnet. "I just want to get hold of you
-and shake you!"</p>
-
-<p>She made a snatch at Tibbie, who instinctively
-got beyond her clutch, and turning
-scared eyes towards Sally, said, just audibly,
-"I want to go home; I want to go
-home."</p>
-
-<p>"It don't seem possible," said Mrs. Bonnet,
-bitterly, "that I can't run out a minute
-just to do an errand for Mrs. Darling herself&mdash;to
-get a spool of feather-stitching silk&mdash;but<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span>
-things like this has to happen. Catherine,
-I thought you, at least, was a responsible
-person, and here you has to go and&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Mrs. Bonnet," Catherine interrupted, "you
-just let that alone! Don't you try none of
-that with me! I went out of an errand
-every bit as much as you did. I went out
-to make sure the ice-cream would be sent
-in good season for Christmas dinner, I did.
-Now I don't get dragged into this mess one
-bit more than you do!"</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Bonnet looked at her with a poison-green
-eye. She seemed to be repressing
-what was a trifle difficult to keep the upper
-hand of.</p>
-
-<p>"Well," she exclaimed at last, "Mrs. Darling
-will be here in a minute, and then we
-shall all see what we shall see. Lord, ain't
-that woman been cross to-day, and fussy!
-'Tain't as if she was like other people&mdash;a
-little bit sensible, and could take some little
-few things into consideration, and remember
-we are all human flesh and blood. Not
-much! She don't consider nothing, nor nobody,
-nor feelings, nor circumstances! She<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span>
-just makes things fly! Things has to go her
-way, every time!"</p>
-
-<p>"I want to go home," cried Tibbie, pathetically,
-and looked towards Sally now
-with a trembling face.</p>
-
-<p>"No, you sha'n't go home," said Bonnet,
-uglily. "You shall stay right here and take
-the blame you deserve, after spoiling the
-face of that handsome doll. What do you
-mean by it, you little brat, you little gutter
-imp?"</p>
-
-<p>"You let her alone, Mrs. Bonnet," said
-Sally, with a boldness that had never before
-characterized her relations with that lady.
-"Don't you talk to her like that! Any one
-can see she's as sorry as sorry can be for
-what she's done, and all the trouble she's
-got us into&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"And what does that help, I'd like to
-know? The doll is broke, ain't it? And
-some one of us is going to catch it, however
-things go. You're a lucky girl, I say, if you
-don't lose your place. Some one of us is
-going to, I can easy foretell."</p>
-
-<p>"I ain't going to lose my place," said Miss<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>
-Catherine, firmly; and with a lifted chin was
-leaving to lay off her things, when the cook's
-nice copper-saucepan face was pushed a little
-inside the door.</p>
-
-<p>"What's the matter?" she asked, cheerily,
-and stepped in. Her high-colored shawl
-was pinned on her breast with a big brooch;
-her bonnet-strings were nearly lost in her
-fat chin. "What's it all about? Whose
-nice little girl is this?"</p>
-
-<p>Gradually she got the whole story, and
-going straight to Tibbie lifted her miserable
-little face, saying: "Don't you feel bad one
-bit, darlin'! It was all an accident, and it's
-no good crying over spilt milk. And if Mrs.
-Darling gets mad at you, she ain't the real
-lady I take her for. Why, I gave my Clary
-a new doll to-night, and it's ready for a
-new head this minute. And did I stop
-to rear and tear about it? Not a bit of it.
-Why, bless you, she didn't go for to do it!
-What child smashes a doll a purpose? You're
-a pretty set, the whole gang of you, to pitch
-into a mite like this!"</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie by this time was freely weeping,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span>
-and Sally and the cook together were trying
-to comfort and silence her.</p>
-
-<p>"I've a great mind to stay here myself and
-stand up for her, yer pack of old maids, the
-lot of yer!" said the cook, looking hard at
-Mrs. Bonnet, who had reappeared without
-her hat and coat.</p>
-
-<p>"You will oblige me, Mrs. MacGrath, by
-doing nothing of the sort," said Mrs. Bonnet.
-"We've no need to have a whole scene
-from the drama. You've no business on this
-floor anyhow, and I must insist on your keeping
-yourself in your own quarters."</p>
-
-<p>"And I'll take my own time, yer born
-Britisher," said Mrs. MacGrath. Then putting
-her arm around Tibbie: "Well, Tibbie
-dear, you can be sure of this: however
-bad this seems, it'll soon be over. And if
-Mrs. Darling does scold, it'll soon be over
-too. It'll all be looking different to you in
-the morning. However things goes, you'll
-soon be forgetting all about it. And to-morrow
-is Christmas Day, that our own dear
-Lord was born on, and I'll bake you a little
-cake and send it to you by Sally."</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"But Sally's going to be sent away,"
-sobbed Tibbie.</p>
-
-<p>"So she might be, but I feel it in my little
-toe that she ain't going to be."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, and if I am, I am, and there an
-end," said Sally, bravely. "But I don't see
-why she can't take the price of the doll out
-of my wages and let me stay."</p>
-
-<p>"I think you'll find," said Mrs. Bonnet,
-"that it ain't most particularly the cost of
-the doll gets you into trouble&mdash;There she
-comes this minute!"</p>
-
-<p>The door-bell had rung. Profound silence
-reigned above, while all listened. Tibbie
-stopped crying.</p>
-
-<p>"Good-night," came Mrs. Darling's sweet
-voice, presently, floating up from the foot of
-the stairs.</p>
-
-<p>"Good-night," came the Rev. Dorel Goodhue's.</p>
-
-<p>There was a rustle of silken skirts.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Cousin Cynthia!"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes?"</p>
-
-<p>"At ten, did you say&mdash;or half past?"</p>
-
-<p>"I said ten&mdash;<i>or</i> half past. Good-night."</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>More rustling of skirts; then,</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Cousin Dorel&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes?" from the foot of the stairs.</p>
-
-<p>"It doesn't matter&mdash;what we spoke about,
-you know, unless perfectly convenient."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, but it will be convenient, perfectly.
-Good-night. Sleep well."</p>
-
-<p>"You too. Pleasant dreams. Good-night."</p>
-
-<p>"Good-night."</p>
-
-<p>The rustling drew nearer, and Mrs. Darling
-stood in the doorway, looking with a sort
-of absent-minded astonishment at the assemblage
-in her room.</p>
-
-<p>The violets were quite dead on her white
-bosom; her hair was beginning to come
-loose, and stood out in golden wisps about
-her flushed face. She looked very sweet
-and soft and shiny-eyed and pleasant altogether.</p>
-
-<p>"What is it?" she asked; and as Jetty
-was evoluting and clamoring about her feet
-she picked him up and kissed him like a
-mother. "Has anything happened? What
-is everybody doing up here? Whose little<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span>
-girl is this sitting up so late? They used to
-tell me I should never grow, my dear, if I
-sat up so late&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"This is what it is, ma'am," began Mrs.
-Bonnet; and she told her arrangement of
-the story, uttering her words as a mowing-machine
-cuts weeds.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Darling abstractedly took the rocking-chair;
-as she listened, the pleasant, happy
-look forsook her face.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, cut it short!" she interrupted, sharply.
-"What you have to tell is that the
-child there has broken one of the dolls, isn't
-it?"</p>
-
-<p>There was an assenting mutter from Mrs.
-Bonnet.</p>
-
-<p>"And you've kept her here, when she
-ought to have been in bed these hours, to
-bear the first beauty of my displeasure&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Darling had said so much in a hard
-voice, with an appearance of cold anger;
-here her voice suddenly died, and she burst
-out crying like a vexed, injured child. "I
-<i>declare</i> it is too bad!" she sobbed, quite
-reckless of making a spectacle of herself,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span>
-while all looked on and listened in consternation&mdash;"I
-declare it is too bad! It's no use!
-It doesn't matter <i>what</i> I do&mdash;it is always
-the same! It is <i>always</i> taken for granted I
-will conduct myself like a beast. Who can
-wonder, after that, if I do? Here I find
-them, pale as sheets, the five of them, shaking
-in their boots because a forlorn little
-child has broken a miserable doll. And <i>what</i>
-is it supposed I shall do about it? Didn't I
-dress the hundred of them for children, and
-little poor children too? And I must have
-known they would get broken, of course.
-<i>Why</i> did I dress them? <i>What</i> did I spend
-months dressing them for? Solely for <i>show</i>,
-they think&mdash;not for any charity, any kindness,
-any love of children, or anything in the
-<i>world</i> but to make an effect on an occasion,
-I suppose&mdash;to make myself a merit with the
-parson, perhaps!" Here her crying seemed
-to become less of anger and nervousness, and
-more of sorrow; one would have thought
-her heart-broken. "Oh, it is too bad! One
-would imagine I never said a decent thing,
-or did a kind act, to any one. And Heaven<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span>
-knows it is not for lack of trying to change.
-But no one sees the difference! I am treated
-like a vixen and a terror. All the people
-about me hate and fear and deceive me! A
-proof of it to-night! Oh, the <i>lesson</i>! Oh, I
-wasn't <i>meant</i> for this! I wasn't meant for
-it! When I remember last Sunday's sermon,
-and how straight to my heart it went&mdash;oh,
-I am a fool to cry! Come here to me,
-dear child. What is your name? What?
-A little louder! What did you say? Tibbie!
-Oh, what a nice, funny name!" Mrs.
-Darling smiled through her tears, pathetically
-hiccoughing and sighing while she spoke.
-"<i>You</i> didn't think I was going to scold you,
-did you, dear? Of <i>course</i> not! It was an
-accident; I understand all about it. I used
-to break my dolls' heads frequently, I remember
-very well&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Darling had put her arm endearingly
-around Tibbie, and tried to make the
-child's head easy on her shoulder. But poor
-Tibbie's muscles could not relax; her stiff
-little face rested uncomfortably, without
-pressing, upon its warm alabaster prop. "Let<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span>
-us see, dear, now, what we can do to make
-us both feel happier. I dressed all those
-dolls for little children I am not acquainted
-with at all. Which of them should you like
-the very best? Which should you like for
-your very own?"</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie could neither make herself move
-nor speak; but the tail of her eye travelled
-towards the dolls.</p>
-
-<p>"The bride!" Sally took the liberty of
-saying, beaming as she came to Tibbie's
-aid.</p>
-
-<p>"The bride? Which one is that? That
-one? Of course!" Mrs. Darling reached
-for the resplendent favorite and placed her
-in Tibbie's hands. "There, my dear."</p>
-
-<p>Tibbie took the doll loosely, without
-breath of thanks; but while Mrs. Darling reviewed
-the dolls, her hand went out involuntarily
-towards the broken one. Mrs. Darling
-saw it. "Of course," she said&mdash;"of
-course, you would want that poor dollie to
-nurse back to health. Now, dear, isn't there
-<i>one more</i> you would like?"</p>
-
-<p>At this Tibbie's confusion seemed likely<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span>
-to overwhelm and swamp her. "I'll choose
-one for you," said Mrs. Darling, "and you
-shall call her Cynthia, after me. How would
-you like that? Suppose we say this one,
-with the forget-me-nots? She looks a little
-like me, doesn't she, with her hair parted in
-the middle? Her frock is made of a piece of
-one of my own, and that blue is my favorite
-color. There, Tibbie, now you have two
-whole dollies and part of another. You
-must run right home to bed. A Merry
-Christmas to you, dear child. I am very
-happy to have made your acquaintance."</p>
-
-<p>The exuberant Sally talked like a clock
-gone mad all the way home through the
-clear wintry night; and since she felt inclined
-to conversation, it was well she could
-keep one up alone, for Tibbie, who trotted
-beside her, holding fast her dolls, did not utter
-a single word.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="p6"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-
-<h2 id="THE_PASSING_OF_SPRING">THE PASSING OF SPRING</h2></div>
-
-
-<p>In the crowded, unbeautiful part of the
-city were two streets forming as if the two
-long legs of the A we knew as children, the
-A with feet wide apart, that stood for Ape.
-A third street went from one to the other, as
-the little bar does across the A, but crooked,
-as a child's hand would draw it. This street
-was narrow, gloomy, and relatively quiet.
-The tide of traffic kept to the larger streets;
-the small street knew, beyond the occupants
-of its own houses and visitors to these, few
-but hurried foot-travellers who used it as a
-short cut, and people of inferior pretensions
-coming there to trade. The ground-story
-of almost every house was a shop; a person
-might have spent a life without real necessity
-for leaving the street. Here boots were made<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span>
-and mended; in the next door, clothes were
-sold (the dim show-windows were full of decent
-dresses, very good still for what you
-paid; you could be fitted even with a ball-dress,
-all beads and satin bows), yonder you
-could get money on deposit of your watch,
-or your flute, or your ear-drops; farther you
-could have yourself shaved. There was a
-window full of tarts and loaves; another window
-in which a roast fowl set its gold note,
-as some would say, between the pink note of
-half a ham and the coral note of a lobster.</p>
-
-<p>Across a certain one of the windows in
-that street for a long time had hung from a
-line, as from the belt of a savage, tails of hair&mdash;black,
-brown, blond. Below these, two
-featureless wax faces presented their sallow
-blankness to the passer, one wreathed with
-yellow curls, the other capped with brown
-waves of a regular pattern. Ordered around
-the twin turned-ebony stands were hairpins,
-sticks of cosmetic wrapped in silver paper,
-slabs of chalk laid on pink cotton, china pots
-with pictures of flowers or beauties and pleasing
-inscriptions in French, fuzzy white balls<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>
-of down, combs, gilt-brass ornaments, kid-capped
-phials containing amber and ruby
-liquids. On the inside of the heavy shutter,
-caught back against the street-wall by day,
-was pasted a large print. This told you in
-what a prodigious way Madame Finibald's
-Gold Elixir would make your hair grow, and
-showed you the picture of a lady who doubtless
-had used it&mdash;her hair was extraordinary,
-it nearly reached to her feet.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps it had been found that the neighborhood
-was become hardened to the sight
-of the luxuriant pictured hair; perhaps some
-who had provided themselves with the small
-copy of it, to be obtained inside on a bottle
-full of brown stuff, had grown inclined to
-treat of it lightly: "Ah, Madame Finibald!"
-perhaps one irritated customer had said to
-the old proprietress, coming to have made
-clear to her why after three bottles of Gold
-Elixir her locks were still not thick, still not
-glossy and splendid as the announcement
-promised they should be, "it's easy to cork
-up herb tea. It's easy to make hair long in
-a picture, and it's easy to make it thick. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span>
-don't believe there ever was any such person
-as that young woman on the label!" One
-morning saw a change in Madame Finibald's
-window. All the accustomed things were
-crowded to the sides to make room for a
-chair; on this sat a girl with brown-gold hair
-that reached in very truth to the floor.</p>
-
-<p>On every morning and every afternoon,
-through a long winter, first one end and then
-the other of the little street was crossed by
-a youth who kept to the larger thoroughfares
-with the stream. He carried books; he
-went rapidly, granting small attention to the
-things he passed. It is not from that to be
-supposed that he was profoundly thinking.
-His face, agreeable in feature and color, was
-rather wanting in expression; no more interesting
-than it was interested. He passed
-at precisely the same hour every morning,
-and the time of his passing in the afternoon
-varied but little. This, from October unto
-April. But when April set its gold stamp
-on the weather, had there been any wise person
-observing this well&mdash;constructed blond
-machine, applauding its regularity, holding<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span>
-it up perhaps as an example to other young
-frequenters of schools and lecture-rooms&mdash;that
-wise person would have been troubled,
-he would have had misgivings, he would
-have been at last full of grief.</p>
-
-<p>A change had come over the young man's
-mood. His eye was acquiring a roving habit.
-If his step had before been bent on duty, it was
-now less directly bent; if before he had been
-on time at his appointments, he must now
-have been always more or less late. He
-walked leisurely, swinging his books by a
-strap. He loitered before shop-windows, he
-turned to look after a face. The sky smiled
-down between the rows of buildings on the
-occasion of the first balmy day; little clouds
-floated in it, shimmering like dissolving
-pearls. He returned the soft sky's compliment;
-he looked up at it, the winter sternness
-melting from his eyes. At every street
-corner he was seen to stop, foolishly smiling
-upward; and, yes, positively, he was seen
-there, forgetful of all the people, to sigh and
-stretch! On that very day he lost three
-books out of his strap, and did not for some<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span>
-time notice it; when he did, he cared nothing!
-From a scrawl on the fly-leaf the finder
-of these books learned their rightful owner
-to be of the house of Fraisier.</p>
-
-<p>He had come hundreds of miles from an
-obscure town to study in this great city; he
-had been a serious, mechanical plodder for
-months, feeling that he owed it to himself
-and to his distant family to fill his head full,
-full with precious notions. He had formed
-no friendships with his fellow-students, fearing
-that they would divert him, or perhaps,
-fearing the young fellows themselves, among
-whom he felt singularly green. He lived
-alone in one little room at the end of the
-world, took no holidays, had no fun, went to
-bed early so as to be fresh for his book in
-the morning. And now, suddenly, he had
-completely lost the point of view from which
-it had seemed necessary that he should get
-dizzily high marks, that he should conquer
-field after field in the realm of learning, and
-return to his home exuding glory. He could
-not persuade himself any more but that it
-befitted him perfectly to spend many hours<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span>
-strolling through the streets with his hands
-in his pockets, amusing his eyes with sights
-of every sort. He could find no argument
-that satisfied him why he should not lounge
-on a garden seat warm with sun, smoking
-cigarettes half the day, thinking nothing
-profitable. The wretched boy had lost all
-sober sense of the duty of man.</p>
-
-<p>If he had limited himself to sitting idle in
-the garden, watching the year develop in that
-narrow, charming enclosure, one might have
-found an excuse for him, the same as for the
-scientist who studies a specimen under a
-glass; or, one might have said he had been
-overworking, his new circumstances on coming
-to the city had induced in him a false
-sort of fervor for work&mdash;a reaction was to
-be expected. But the mood whose first
-stage had been simple disinclination for study
-and a taste for pointless wanderings, by the
-time that in the march of the year the crocuses
-had gone, took on developments. It
-was not so often before a many-colored
-flower-bed he stopped, as before a window
-full of hats and bonnets.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>If, again, he had limited himself to staring
-in at milliners' fronts! The wares there do
-somewhat resemble fantastic flowers, and
-might explain the interest of a botanist.
-But he halted in the same way before shops
-that offered no excuse for the same attention;
-windows in which were only idle feminine
-frocks displayed, flippant fans, frills of fluted
-lace, feathery things for the neck.</p>
-
-<p>One might have imagined from his wonder
-and interest that all these things had just
-been invented, that they were a strange
-spring-crop; that new, too, was the race of
-smiling, chatting, shopping beings crowding
-the street on sunny days, new and in fashion
-only since this spring, such unaccustomed
-pleasure spoke in his eye that shyly followed
-them in their prettiest representatives. What
-exquisite sense shown, O ever-young Creator,
-in making the lip red, and the neck white,
-and the temperate cheek between white and
-red!</p>
-
-<p>The boy had moments of being drunk in a
-glorified way even as is the innocent bee,
-with nothing but wandering among flowers.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>
-Owing to a confusion in the ideas attendant
-on that mysterious soft travailing among the
-atoms of the heart warmed through by spring,
-all sorts of things to him were as flowers!
-His imagination was so increased in power,
-that with nothing but a pair of little shoes in
-a show-case to start from he could build up
-the most astonishing, dreamy stories: he
-could set feet in the shoes and rear a palatial
-flesh-and-blood structure over them, as easy
-as sigh; fit the whole with graces, laces, circumstances
-and adventures&mdash;contrive even
-to tangle its fate pleasingly with his own.</p>
-
-<p>Which may make supposed that he was a
-youth of some boldness. Far from it. He
-scarcely knew what a woman's eyes were like,
-except in profile or fugitive three-quarters;
-on the other hand, he was well acquainted
-with her back hair. Hair, in which he could
-pursue long studies unconfounded, seemed
-to him the most beautiful thing in all the
-world.</p>
-
-<p>One day, with a view to lengthening the
-way by taking a road that though shorter
-must from novelty be richer in diversion than<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span>
-his daily track, he turned into the little street
-that cut off the triangle of the A. He paused
-before the window of the worn watches and
-sleeve-links; he took his time over the faded
-finery of the second-hand clothes shop; he
-examined certain yellowed wood-cuts and
-stained books he found in a narrow open
-stall. As he seemed coming to the end of
-the street's resources, he looked over the way
-and thoughtfully felt his cheek: he could not
-find there what would have justified a refreshing
-station at the barber's. He continued
-his way slowly, to make it last. Now, he
-stopped where several others were likewise
-stopping&mdash;he had come to Madame Finibald's.</p>
-
-<p>The girl sat amid her hair, either unconscious
-or disdainful of the eyes watching her
-beyond the glass. She looked in a book
-open on her lap; now and then she turned
-over a leaf, sometimes revealing a picture on
-the page. Her chair was low, perhaps so
-that her hair should amply trail; its lowness
-made an excuse for the listlessness of her
-posture; her feet were outstretched and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span>
-crossed, the passers might know that one of
-her shoes was laced with pink twine. If she
-moved her eyes from her book a moment, it
-was only to sweep them past the faces, unseeing,
-and lift them to the strip of sky between
-the houses&mdash;so blue this day, the little bit
-there was of it.</p>
-
-<p>Her face one scarcely noticed for the first
-moment more than any rosy apple; for oh!
-her hair!&mdash;her hair claimed all the attention
-a man had to give, did her shining hair falling
-stately along her cheeks, all over her shoulders,
-below her waist, beyond her garment&mdash;richer,
-of course, than any possible queen's
-cloak. The light rippled over it, changing
-on it all the time, when nothing else in the
-window appeared to live.</p>
-
-<p>Within the shadow of the shop was discerned
-a watchful, wrinkled old face, chiefly
-differing from a parrot's in the slyness of its
-eyes. Fraisier catching sight of it thought
-of a witch on guard over a princess enchanted
-and imprisoned in a glass-case.</p>
-
-<p>The little group in front of Madame Finibald's
-dispersed, formed anew with other<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span>
-faces many times in the hour; Fraisier remained,
-his eyes climbing up, sliding down
-the golden ropes of hair.</p>
-
-<p>At last, though the girl gave no sign, he
-was made uncomfortable by the sense that
-she must, even without looking, have seen
-how long he stood. He inquired timidly
-of her face. It was informed with a gentle
-brazenness, fortified to be stared at all the
-day. Yet there was a suggestion of childishness
-in its abstracted expression; she
-wore the sort of look one has seen on the
-face of a little girl playing at being somebody
-else far more splendid than herself.
-A close observer might have suspected that
-she really thought it rather grand to sit there
-in the gorgeousness of her hair, and was
-amused with pretending not to know that a
-soul looked on.</p>
-
-<p>Fraisier, because her eyes were lowered,
-found hardihood to stare his fill at her face.
-He surrendered without struggle before the
-round cheeks, the short little nose, the good-natured
-mouth and chin, which, in truth, took
-more than their just space in the face. But<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span>
-most&mdash;oh, still most! delighted him the
-brown-gold hair that tumbled over her forehead
-and ears in little curls.</p>
-
-<p>He was realizing from the mutterings of
-what was left him of a conscience how late
-it must be getting&mdash;he must be taking himself
-off; he was making long the one minute
-more he allowed himself, when her pupils slid
-between the lashes in his direction. He had
-lost all presence of mind, he could not withdraw
-his glance. After a second's pause
-upon his, her eyes slid back to her book and
-were hidden. Then, without another thought
-towards duty, he crossed the street to the
-barber's, from whose window he could see
-Madame Finibald's; and, coming forth with
-a smoother face than the rose, entered the
-little eating-shop next door, from which likewise
-he could command Madame Finibald's.</p>
-
-<p>He went through the little street every day.
-He took many atrocious meals in the shop,
-on the table nearest the window.</p>
-
-<p>On such days as brought perfect weather,
-the girl in Madame Finibald's would turn
-very often to the sky a look easily inter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span>preted
-as longing. Then would Fraisier
-look up too and sigh. It seemed such a
-pity, this wasted blue weather.</p>
-
-<p>It seemed such a pity, all this wasted
-sweetness, he thought in crossing a public
-garden on his occasional unwilling way to a
-lecture. The quince-tree blossomed in red;
-under the cherry were little drifts of scented
-snow; up out of the vigorous, rested earth
-were flowers springing in mad, gay multitudes.
-The air was silver made air in the
-morning; and in the afternoon it was gold
-made air. Birds, busily building, busily twittered.
-These things did nothing to him, but
-the more they were lovely and penetrated the
-heart, the more to make him lonesome.</p>
-
-<p>He took himself away from their radiance
-without one regret for them, to spend his
-time in preference in an ugly little street
-where one could scarcely have known what
-season it was, where there was nothing to see
-that was beautiful but certain long, long hair.
-In thought, though, let it be said in vindication
-of spring's power of enthralling, having
-done up the hair in braids, and extinguished<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span>
-it with a hat, he was always, always guiding
-it to the contemned garden. When once it
-was in the garden, May there had become
-perfect.</p>
-
-<p>He wondered whether it could be she had
-become aware of his persistent presence. He
-feared she had, and as often that she had not.
-He imagined sometimes that when he looked
-her face was quivering with a conquered
-desire to smile. That disconcerted him a
-shade. Sometimes he thought she looked
-suspiciously rosy for a girl unconscious of all
-the world. Sometimes he looked away, with
-the idea that if he turned suddenly he should
-find her stealing a glance at him. But he
-dared not look very quickly, lest the action
-should be too marked; and turning with discreet
-alacrity, he could never feel sure.</p>
-
-<p>One day, at last, having settled in his mind
-that this tame conduct was unworthy of a
-man, refusing himself a second in which to
-think better of any matter, he crossed the
-street and charged the shop. A bell snapped
-sharply as he opened the door. It startled
-him to the point of gasping. He grew<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span>
-crimson, finding himself opposed in truth, as
-many a night before in dream, by Madame
-Finibald's sly and lowly smile, breathing the
-same faintly drug-perfumed air as the princess
-breathed, no glass screen between himself
-and the hair. He could have touched it,
-had he been so bold.</p>
-
-<p>He stammered a request for soap&mdash;scented
-soap. He wished himself tens of ten miles
-away, or time out of mind dead, when&mdash;wonderful!
-The maiden in the window
-looked frankly over her shoulder. Was it
-that her eyes brimmed with friendly laughter,
-or did it seem so to him because his head
-had become incapable of a true notion?
-His heart, so to speak, found its feet; he
-made a muddle of every sentence he launched
-upon, but his words had a voice behind them.
-So much he contrived to convey: he was
-very hard to please in the matter of soap. He
-sniffed at a variety of proffered tablets, whose
-virtues Madame Finibald, in very truth like
-a witch with a philter to sell, assiduously set
-forth; each cake he examined seemed to
-hold in her estimation just a little higher<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span>
-place than the foregoing. At the end of ten
-minutes, without positively losing her good-humor,
-she declared that he had seen all in
-the shop, she was sorry and surprised they
-could not suit him, they might have a fresh
-stock in on the morrow. He was leaving in
-clumsy embarrassment, empty handed, with
-a promise to return, when the princess
-lightly jumped from the window-place, and,
-sweeping the hair off her face, said: "There
-is one more sort, ma'am. I saw it up there,
-high, when I dusted. Let me get it."</p>
-
-<p>She fetched the steps, and in a moment
-had climbed and lifted down a box. She
-set it on the counter; she opened it herself
-and held towards him, with a direct glance,
-a packet with a red rose printed on the
-wrapper.</p>
-
-<p>Madame Finibald, with an exclamation,
-snatched it from the girl's hand, and began,
-as if here had been a little grandchild recovered
-to her old age, to speak with tenderness
-of its merits. The girl stood near, twining
-and untwining a lock around her finger,
-while she unaffectedly looked at the cus<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span>tomer.
-Her hair came below her knees;
-every moment she had to toss it back out of
-her face.</p>
-
-<p>"Go back to your window, wicked child!"
-cried the old witch, suddenly, as if catching
-at a piece of gold as it was being taken out
-of her pocket. "Go back!"</p>
-
-<p>"I am tired of sitting!" said the little
-princess, twisting her shoulders in her frock
-with the prettiest peevishness. "I have sat
-and sat and sat! I have finished my story.
-Let me go out and get a bun. You know
-you said I could when it was noon."</p>
-
-<p>She caught at her hair, and, to the infinite
-wonder of one looking on, began twisting,
-twisting, twisting, coiling, coiling, coiling,
-driving in great skewers&mdash;while he filled his
-blissful pockets with rose-scented soap.</p>
-
-<p>The bell snapped in fretful reprehension
-for her passing out. Less than a minute
-after, it exclaimed in annoyed surprise for
-his.</p>
-
-<p>Now was he no longer made lonesome by
-every coquettish touch the more that the
-year put to her toilet. For the girl of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span>
-regal hair smiled to him, surreptitiously with
-her lips, but unguardedly with her eyes, when
-he came by her glass-case; while he dawdled
-in the window opposite, she communicated
-with him by signs no other eye could have
-perceived. Even before their acquaintance
-had become very old, she slipped out to walk
-in the garden, and they sat on the green seats
-and had long, foolish, youthful talks&mdash;delightful,
-foolish, youthful times.</p>
-
-<p>Her conversation took an amusing interest
-from the peculiarities of her education. She
-had seen and heard much in her short life in
-a hard world, where it was no one's affair to
-keep anything from her young ken&mdash;much of
-dark, and petty, and unpicturesque&mdash;preserving
-through all a sort of hardy innocence;
-and she had borrowed from a cheap circulating
-library a vast lot of fiction dealing with
-the supremely grand. Her preference in
-literature, however, had remained for fairy
-tales, a taste formed when it had been one
-of her duties to read aloud to certain little
-children of the rich. She knew them by the
-score. It was to this, perhaps, some of her<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span>
-remarks owed the fanciful touch that redeemed
-them from the commonness of her
-general conversation&mdash;a genial commonness,
-condoned to such young lips. She had a
-childish way of lending a personality to
-everything, that amused him more than
-epigram would have done. She ascribed
-intention to the wind that blew off her hat,
-and stopped to express her mind to it. She
-assumed consciousness in the bench they sat
-on; she wanted to take the same one, lest it
-should think they slighted it because it was
-rickety, for which it was not to blame. Every
-flower was to her a person. "Hush!
-They are listening!" she said, looking from
-the corner of her eye at a bank of knowing
-pansies. She scolded a button for coming
-off, as if the want of principle shown
-by it had been a thing to revolt her. She
-stood in a one-sided relation of good-fellowship
-with the brown birds hopping
-among the gravel, and the fishes in the
-pond; she spared them many crumbs. With
-homely good-heartedness she took into an
-amused regard all the family of spring&mdash;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span>buds,
-blades, insects&mdash;addressing speech to
-them as if she had been a giant and they a
-very little people.</p>
-
-<p>Never can spring return without Fraisier's
-remembering that spring. It was bright; by
-it all the springs following have been cast in
-the shadow.</p>
-
-<p>The long hair was woven through and
-through his thoughts; but not as a disturbing,
-upheaving element. The girl made him
-waste a great deal of time, but nothing else&mdash;not
-the life of his heart. Because of her
-good-nature, her entire want of coquetry or
-perverseness, his feeling for her complicated
-itself in nowise; rather it grew simpler as it
-insensibly changed. His wonder and fine
-dread at feminine appurtenances had worn
-away a little with increased familiarity; he
-reposed on that fact as if it had been such
-an one as becoming accustomed to the noise
-of guns. He felt under delicate obligations
-to her for having routed his shyness, and not
-at all tormented him in any of the thousand
-ways he apprehended a feminine being would
-have at her command.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>As he was less and less in awe of her and
-that suspected arsenal, though a charming,
-fearful element went out of his sentiment,
-his affection perhaps grew more. She made
-such a good little comrade! Insidiously,
-she connected herself in his mind with future
-days&mdash;she who cared only for the day and
-the pleasure thereof. When he spoke of a
-thing it would be pleasant to do, a place
-pleasant to visit, he said, always unreflectingly,
-yet from a sincere heart: "Some day
-we must go there. Let us do such a thing
-some time." When he described the hills
-and ponds of home, he said what they might
-have done had she been there last summer
-or the years before, how they might have
-rowed and rambled. He painted the good
-time they might have together, in some not
-impossible, but not specified time, place, and
-circumstances.</p>
-
-<p>So the green from tender grew brilliant&mdash;grew
-deep&mdash;became void of interest to the
-accustomed eye, and more or less dust settled
-over it. It was manifest to all that spring
-was past.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Then began an anxious time. Those
-lectures, those miserable lectures! Those
-courses, those wretched courses, which he
-had neglected! That blessed information
-he had spared to cull when the time was for
-it! These things seemed likely to get their
-revenge. When he awoke to a sense of his
-danger&mdash;very late! only when the bloom
-was off the year, when lily and early rose
-had gone where they could divert no mortal
-more&mdash;he could not believe that he should
-not, by fitting exertion, catch up in time at
-the appointed goal. He worked rabidly,
-with a wet cloth around his head. He
-thought not of girls in those days, I promise
-you; he recked not of bronze-gold hair!</p>
-
-<p>It was written that he should not be
-saved. He closed his school term pitiably
-conditioned.</p>
-
-<p>When the worst was known, at least was
-time to breathe, however sore the lungs,
-then his mind reverted to her. He had
-been man enough to harbor no spite towards
-her, accuse her of nothing. He sent her a
-message and waited at the appointed place,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span>
-wondering a little, while he waited, at his
-follies of the spring. They seemed so unnecessary,
-looked back upon now. Why,
-in a very real, practical world like this one,
-where a man's failure to pass his exams was
-sure to call forth from his progenitor letters
-such as his pocket at this moment contained,
-conduct one's self as if existing in a world
-of lambs and purling streams and shepherdesses?
-He was one with the actual world in
-looking with astonishment and condemnation
-upon his own works. The sky above
-was hard, barren blue; it seemed so easy,
-looking back, to have stuck to the approved
-road. What had possessed him?</p>
-
-<p>Then she appeared. At sight of her his
-heart dropped its armor. She brought back
-a whiff of the sweetness of a past atmosphere.
-Was it possible he had ever been the happy
-boy he seemed to remember! He smiled up
-in her face with cheek-muscles stiffened by
-disuse, and eyes ringed with studious shadows.
-She had on a flimsy frock, printed all over
-with little flowers that seemed to him to
-smell good; her hair, where the great wad<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span>
-projected beyond the straw brim, was touched
-with a warm, peculiar glory. He had meant
-to keep himself well hardened against her,
-tell her the various things necessary in a
-matter-of-fact way, and bid her good-bye
-indefinitely. He felt more like crying with
-his disgraced head in her lap.</p>
-
-<p>He conquered his weakness.... A pretty
-man he made!</p>
-
-<p>He got out with sufficient composure and
-dignity what he had to say. He told her all
-that had happened, the change it made in
-the coming months. He was not going
-home for the holidays; he could not endure
-to see the folks. He was going into the
-country to spend the summer in hard study,
-to make sure of "passing" next term. He
-was going to the particular place he mentioned
-because he had a friend there, a fellow
-he had taken up with in the last weeks, one
-that had had the same bad luck as himself.
-This man's family lived there; it would not
-be quite so dreary as being alone.</p>
-
-<p>She chaffed and consoled him in turns.
-Now that the world had gone all wrong with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span>
-him, her eyes seemed to him sweeter and
-softer than he had ever observed. What a
-good, kind little friend! Lord! what a good,
-crazy, light-hearted time they had had, and
-how pretty she looked to-day! What wonderful,
-thrice wonderful hair it was, waving
-and ringletting about her glowing summer
-face, coiling massively on the back of her
-head! No woman on earth had such hair!</p>
-
-<p>He did wish for a moment that Green, his
-new friend, might see her&mdash;he was proud of
-her. One night, when they had sat grinding
-together for mutual assistance, the oil giving
-out, Green had told him of a cousin of his.
-Fraisier had said nothing of any girl. He
-only wished that Green might see the hair
-of this girl whose name he had foreborne to
-speak.</p>
-
-<p>Good-bye, Minnie! He should be working
-like a slave all through the burning golden
-days&mdash;let her think of him a little. He
-should be very lonesome. When he had
-studied until his eyes smarted and his head
-swam, there would be nothing pleasant to
-do, no one pleasant to talk with&mdash;she might<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span>
-spare a moment to be sorry for him now
-and then. He should be back in the fall.
-Bless the beautiful and beautiful and beautiful
-hair! Good-bye, Minnie!</p>
-
-<p>She so little perished from his mind after
-their parting that whenever&mdash;as Green and
-he lay under the trees, withdrawn from the
-world and devoted to arduous studies, keeping
-off the insects by smoke&mdash;Green began
-talking about that cousin of his, Fraisier
-became half sick with reminiscence. He
-could not resist replying by talking&mdash;with
-the finest, shyest reverence always&mdash;of Minnie.
-There was a dreamy solace in talking
-of her to some one. She described so well,
-too; so unusually. He had a proud secret
-assurance that as an incident in a man's life
-she altogether eclipsed a cousin in interest.</p>
-
-<p>"How long is your cousin's hair?" he
-asked, with assumed casualness, once. Green
-stared a little, and confessed not having the
-slightest idea. Fraisier opened his arms as
-wide as they could go, and said, vaguely
-blushing, "The young lady I spoke of has
-hair as long as this!"</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"Come! I should like to see it!" spoke
-Green, in such a tone that Fraisier turned a
-deep, vexed red.</p>
-
-<p>He said nothing, but on the next day took
-his books to a different place, choosing to
-keep to himself so long as Green did not seek
-him with a suitable apology.</p>
-
-<p>The spot selected by the young men as a
-meeting ground lay at an equal distance
-between Green's home and the cottage in
-which Fraisier had taken up his summer
-quarters. It was on the skirts of a wood,
-and, by some accident of the land, often cool
-when other places were hot. The rolling
-pasture it commanded was dotted with
-scrubby evergreens, and crossed by a small
-brook the cow's hoofs had in some places
-trodden broad and shallow. It was colored
-in patches with the frequent pink of clover-heads,
-surprised here and there with the
-white of a long-necked, belated daisy.</p>
-
-<p>Fraisier took himself to a spot just not so
-far from the usual haunt but that Green
-when he came might see him.</p>
-
-<p>It was a fair, soft, simmering morning,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span>
-promising a scorching day. He stretched
-himself under the trees and lighted a pipe&mdash;he
-had taken to a pipe in place of cigarettes since
-coming into the wilderness. He composed
-himself for a serious forenoon's work, deciding
-that it was much more profitable, after all, to
-study alone&mdash;Green was always digressing.</p>
-
-<p>The spot he had chosen was not so good,
-it proved, as the one he had left clear for
-Green. A path ran through the woods, just
-within the trees; there was a frequent patter
-of bare feet on the dust, children with pails
-passed looking for things. He waited to
-proceed with his theorem till their high
-piping, scattered voices had died away. It
-was not so cool, either; as a fact, it was
-hotter than most places. He did not crave
-the exertion of seeking a better; this was at
-least shady. He turned over on his back
-and closed his eyes, yielding gracefully to
-the force of circumstances.</p>
-
-<p>A light blow in the face, from an acorn,
-perhaps, roused him. He thought of Green,
-and, instantly broad awake, looked for the
-development of some practical joke.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>It was not Green&mdash;he saw it with a sort of
-disappointment. It was one of the berry-seeking
-children that had caught sight of him
-snoozing, and followed its natural instinct.
-A boy's grinning head was seen bobbing
-above one of the neighboring bushes. He
-turned from it in disgust and felt surlily
-about the grass for his pipe, about his person
-for a match&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>Gracious powers! what sort did the young
-one take him for, with this free persecution?
-Another acorn had hit him smartly on the
-head.</p>
-
-<p>"Look out, there!" he called, making a
-feint of rising to give chase.</p>
-
-<p>"Come on!" shouted the boy, gayly, from
-behind the bush. There was a burst of
-laughter, a flash and flutter of pink, and the
-boy, who turned out to be a girl, came precipitately
-towards him. She stopped just
-short of a collision, and dropped in the grass
-panting with laughter. He stared at her
-blankly. Every time she looked up and
-caught sight of his expression she doubled
-herself and fairly writhed.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"He doesn't know me!&mdash;he doesn't know
-me!" she brought forth amid her convulsive
-giggling.</p>
-
-<p>"Minnie! My God! What&mdash;what have
-you done to yourself?" he exclaimed, and
-had no breath left.</p>
-
-<p>She moderated her laughter, and presented
-her smiling face a moment for him to see
-well what had happened. She ran her fingers
-over her cropped head, ruffling it absurdly,
-making the short locks stand on end.</p>
-
-<p>"Isn't it funny? Doesn't a person look
-funny at first? The rest of it is hanging,
-like a fairy horse's tail, in the window, across
-the picture of the Elixir lady. (Bad old
-woman! Cheat! She didn't give me much
-for it! But, Natty Fraisier, I would have
-taken even less, I did want to come so!)
-You poor, lonesome boy! I can stay a whole
-week&mdash;perhaps more. I have found a place
-in the village, just near you. The first child
-I met told me all I wanted to know. I
-thought it would have been harder. Mercy!
-isn't it heavenly still and sweet here, with
-hills and cows? I was never in the true<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span>
-country before. Mercy! isn't it good? Look
-out, you flower there&mdash;over there, you, miss!
-That is called a bee; he has a terrible stinger&mdash;oh,
-he is an old acquaintance? Go ahead,
-then, and give him a nice swing, and honey
-for his tea. Oh, Natty, I am so glad! Aren't
-you glad?"</p>
-
-<p>He choked and cleared his throat. No,
-without that voice, never in the world would
-he have known her. Before him seemed to
-be a common little street-boy who had run
-off in a girl's new pink dress and shiny shoes&mdash;an
-unknown boy whose features had something
-painfully familiar. Strange! He remembered
-Minnie's face as possessing a certain
-harmony in its lines, however childish
-and trivial they were; this terrible little impostor,
-though not ill favored, was broad of
-jaw and narrow of forehead; his eyes even
-were not the same, but smaller and nearer
-together, while the mouth was larger&mdash;its
-very proneness to laughter increased its commonness.
-And that ridiculous hair&mdash;literally
-chopped off by an unskilled hand and twisted
-here and there with unpractised tongs! It<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span>
-was so thick, it had no more light or lustre
-than a hearth-brush.</p>
-
-<p>Her face sobered ever so little as she looked
-at him. "What is the matter? Poor dear!
-you haven't got over those exams. But I
-won't bother, you know, and take up all your
-time; I have learned better. I won't interfere
-with any work, I promise, Natty. See me
-swear? On this algebra! Only, before you
-begin and when you have done each day, we
-will go for walks and rows. I saw a boat on
-the pond. We will have lunch on the grass,
-and make a fire with sticks we pick up.
-Look! you put three long sticks like that
-and hang the kettle in the middle. We will
-do all those things we used to plan when we
-never much thought there would be a chance.
-You poor, lonesome boy, have you been having
-a horrid time? We will make up for it
-now. Natty, you don't care about the <i>hair</i>,
-do you? You needn't. You know, I had
-got mortally sick of sitting in that window.
-I could not have stood it a day longer.
-When a fly buzzed on the pane I wanted to
-scream. Again and again I have come near<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span>
-putting my foot through the glass at one of
-the gaping faces, then jumping down and
-catching the old woman while she told lies
-about my having used her Elixir faithfully&mdash;never
-touched a drop!&mdash;and dancing her
-up and down all around the room until she
-dropped. I shall go back to taking care of
-little children now, as I did before she found
-me. I do love children! And in that business,
-I don't mind telling you, I shall do
-better without all that hair. No matter how
-tight I did it up, some one was always grumbling
-that it made too much show. You
-mustn't care a bit about the hair, Natty; I
-gave it up without a twinge. I cut it off
-with my own hands. You have no idea
-how much comfortabler this is in hot weather.
-My head feels so light! I can dip it in
-the water any minute. I do love it like
-this!"</p>
-
-<p>She ran her hands through her hair again,
-ruffling it still more fantastically. Fraisier
-winced. He was sick beyond calculating
-the degree. "Oh, my poor girl!" he contrived
-at last to say.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>She looked at him more closely than before
-in her overrunning joy, and her face
-fell a little. No doubt she had seen herself
-in mirrors since her alteration, but not in a
-real mirror until she saw herself reflected in
-his very pale face. She smiled still, but a
-little foolishly; then no more, and stopped
-chatting. It was as if a stone had been set
-to seal up a spring&mdash;a large stone laid upon
-her bubbling heart. There was a silence.</p>
-
-<p>He saw that she must be seeing what he
-could not keep out of his face. He could
-not help it; he could get no control over his
-feelings, over his expression. He was not
-sure he cared to&mdash;he did not try. He was
-at sea: he did not know what he felt, what
-he did not feel. The bottom seemed to
-have dropped out of his heart, out of the
-world&mdash;out of something, everything. He
-knew not! He only knew he was sick&mdash;sick,
-and incapable of speech, of action, of
-reflection.</p>
-
-<p>"You can't stay here, child," he heard
-some one saying, in a matter-of-fact, superficial
-voice. "Don't you see, yourself, that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span>
-you can't? For your own sake, I mean. It
-would never do, Minnie. You must understand
-that. You don't know what a thing
-a small country village like this is, for gossip
-and slanderous tongues. I couldn't let you
-injure yourself so, don't you see?"</p>
-
-<p>"It wouldn't be proper?" she inquired,
-faintly.</p>
-
-<p>"No, Minnie; no, it wouldn't&mdash;at all.
-Don't you see it?"</p>
-
-<p>She got to her feet, full as pale as he now.</p>
-
-<p>"All right," she said, and after a few mechanical
-steps, paused a moment, looking
-down, biting her finger&mdash;lost in thought, or
-waiting for something to happen, for him
-to say something further.</p>
-
-<p>He could not speak&mdash;he could not make
-himself speak.</p>
-
-<p>"All right," she said again, very distinctly,
-and turned to go without another word.</p>
-
-<p>"Minnie! Minnie!" he faltered, and had
-instinctively cast himself after her. His
-outstretched hand almost touched her pink
-draperies. She turned on him fiercely, whisking
-herself out of reach. He was confront<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>ed
-for a second by a little angry street-boy
-face, but with the gathered experience and
-woe of half a race in the eyes. "Let me
-alone! Don't dare to touch me! Nathaniel
-Fraisier, I hate you!"</p>
-
-<p>She began desperately to run. He saw
-her clutch her poor little ruined head, and
-heard her cry out, breaking into sobs: "Oh,
-my hair! Oh, my hair!"</p>
-
-<p>He dropped in the grass, face downward,
-and pressed his hands over his ears, trembling.
-It all seemed so strange, so out of
-proportion.</p>
-
-<p>In the late afternoon of that same hot
-day the crabbed little bell on Madame Finibald's
-door snapped to let in a tired, dusty
-youth, whose dejected face was so flushed,
-one's thought at sight of him turned at once
-on sunstroke. He leaned wearily over the
-counter and asked a few questions, at which
-madame's liver seemed so shaken she could
-not keep a hold on her good manners. At
-the height of her voice she began berating
-all the world, and one absent person. Fraisier
-tried to calm her, with vague, soothing mo<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span>tions
-of his hands patting down the air.
-When she subsided enough for him to be
-heard, he pointed to a long tail of shining
-hair in the window, and spoke again, growing
-redder, if possible, than before&mdash;so red
-that his eyes watered, and he had to shade
-them a moment, leaning his elbows on the
-counter. She unhitched the hair, shaking it
-brutally. He put out his hands in remonstrance.
-She flung it down before him with
-a forbidding proposition and a deep snort of
-malice. Meekly he emptied his purse on
-the counter, unfolding the bills, spreading
-out the silver and lucky pieces to count, reserving
-only for himself a crumpled ticket.</p>
-
-<p>She watched him with gleeful, avaricious
-eyes. After computation, he rose without
-breath of argument and went down the
-street to pawn his watch and studs and
-cigarette-case, returning solvent.</p>
-
-<p>He left with a rather unsightly parcel in
-his hand; the cover was burst in more than
-one place. Madame Finibald had not been
-so particular as she sometimes was in the
-selection of her wrapping-paper. He had no<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span>
-overcoat and no pocket large enough to put
-his prize in; he was forced to hold it, conscious
-how it was heavy and soft and its
-contents gleamed through the holes.</p>
-
-<p>He got home at dark, reporting to his
-landlady with his back to the light. He
-wanted nothing to eat: there were lamps
-and voices in the dining-room. He could
-not go to bed, worn out as he was: on the
-porch below his window was singing and
-picking of strings.</p>
-
-<p>He went forth into the fields. At last,
-beyond all sounds but the summer's own,
-he sank on the grass. He did not look up
-once at the stars, but lay sprawling with his
-forehead on his crossed arms, and let his
-heart torture itself at its own good leisure.
-He drank deeper and deeper of its dark
-bitterness, forcing himself recklessly to it,
-reaching a sort of desperate drunkenness.
-It seemed to his inexperience there could
-be nothing worse at any time in this life
-to taste.</p>
-
-<p>He woke long hours afterwards, wondering
-a little at first, feeling somewhat stiff.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span>
-The air was warm and still, tremulous with
-crickets&mdash;thrilled through with the shaken
-baubles of the summer's myriad little jesters.
-In his sleep he had rolled over; his
-face was to heaven. The sky was faint with
-starlight; the Milky Way was a road of diamond
-sand; the great constellations had
-hung themselves with solemn jewels; down
-near the rim of the world watched far-spaced
-large earnest beacon-lights&mdash;but above, the
-tiniest irresponsible stars twinkled in and out,
-like shining ants in ant-hills. He looked,
-almost wondering why his eyes felt so queer&mdash;sore
-besides heavy; why his breast felt so
-heavy. He rose sitting; he was on a hillock.
-Like an opaque reproduction of the transparent,
-lightsome sky looked the ground
-about him, which the scythe had this season
-respected; it was dark dotted with
-daisies. He rubbed his aching head a little,
-then lay back again, the grass shooting
-coolly up along his cheeks. After the sound,
-dreamless sleep of utter exhaustion from
-which he had waked, because he had drained
-it to satisfaction, his head was numbed, but,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span>
-the little it worked, clear in its working; his
-heart was sore, but quieted. Something had
-changed; all wore another aspect; all seemed
-farther removed. Hours had gone by already,
-a month would go&mdash;a year&mdash;fifteen
-years. This would be lived out of memory.
-If it is realized that a thing must cease, has
-it not begun to die already? At the first
-one must be patient, and take suffering as
-a matter of course. He stretched his limbs
-wearily, not entirely deceived by himself,
-nor unaware of depths of heartache under
-this film of philosophy that had scummed
-them over in sleep. He drew his hot palms
-over the grass; his hand came upon the
-parcel that he had not dared to leave behind
-nor to open, that he never would have the
-strength to open&mdash;and his philosophy was
-severely shaken. His heart was near bursting
-out afresh; he laid his face on the
-wretched, soft, dead little bundle, and agonized.</p>
-
-<p>Then he revolted against this suffering
-that seemed to him undeserved, disproportionate.
-He was not a bad fellow; looking<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span>
-into his heart, he could declare truthfully
-that it was not in him to willingly harm anything&mdash;give
-any one pain. Why should he
-feel so endlessly mean, so endlessly miserable?
-He appealed to Minnie, his reasonable
-Minnie of old, against this state of things.
-He defended himself to her; she defended
-him to himself. When all was said, he had
-at no time done anything to blame, had that
-day said nothing that was not wise and for
-the best, that he would not in like case be
-forced to say over again. He had been
-taken unawares; he had not expressed himself
-with tact&mdash;he had been fatally slow.
-The fact remained that the girl could not
-have stayed by him, setting the whole country-side
-agog. But if his heart still refused
-to be at peace about this matter, let it be
-assured he meant to seek till he found the
-girl; it must be easy enough to find her,
-though he had failed that day. Alas! poor
-little forlorn head, shorn of its great gleaming
-beauty&mdash;poor little discrowned head, at
-this hour full of what thoughts, God knew!
-He would make all things right to her; he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span>
-was extravagantly ready to pay any price;
-he was lavish of his future, free of all the
-gods gave him to give. At the same time
-that he made these protestations to himself
-and to her, and he was sincere in making
-them, he knew that Minnie would never
-look at him again&mdash;he knew that she had
-understood how he was changed with the
-change in her; it was beyond his governing,
-but she must be forgiven for not forgiving
-it. And looking into his man's heart, he
-wondered at the mystery of it.</p>
-
-<p>In that hour of being honest, after revolting
-at it, reasoning about it, trying to sophisticate
-it away, he came back always to a
-hopeless contemplation of it as a simple fact,
-not to be done away with. In the face of it
-he might clear himself of all blame, perhaps,
-but he remained humiliated and full of a
-vague pity. As he lay in the grass so,
-plucking heedlessly in the dark at the little
-tufts, emptied of all pride under the
-lofty stars, a dreamy mood followed upon
-what degree of success he had in suppressing
-feelings he was determined not to en<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span>dure,
-so did they hurt! His thoughts in
-search of soothing travelled back to days
-before last spring, when he could hardly
-have conceived what he had this night been
-suffering. Peaceful period, but without great
-charm, he decided, loyal to his altered taste.
-He thought of the past spring, the soft
-awakening all without and within a man&mdash;the
-tender, vast burgeoning, fluttering, shimmering,
-outreaching! He judged it sadly
-from a midsummer night. Not all were
-flowers that put forth in that mad amenity
-of nature; no, not all flowers.</p>
-
-<p>And in connection with all that freshness
-and fragrance and beauty of spring,
-he thought unavoidably of what had seemed
-to his new-quickened heart its very expression,
-its chiefest adornment&mdash;the gentle
-order he loved in so general and devoted a
-way. His conjuring head filled with charming
-phantoms, pathetic to his sense at this
-juncture; they passed, exquisite pageant,
-leaving as if a perfume of themselves through
-the halls of his mind, not one little grace,
-one foolish trick, one dainty manner of be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span>ing,
-lost on his worshipping sensibility: silver
-laughter&mdash;odors of violets&mdash;sunny loose
-hairs and white hand tucking them behind
-the ear&mdash;pretty feet tiptoeing across the street
-in bad weather&mdash;pouted lips cooing to a baby,
-or quaintly attempting its own language to a
-bird&mdash;languid attitudes&mdash;belts of a span&mdash;caprices&mdash;teasing
-humors&mdash;tenderness&mdash;pity for
-small creatures&mdash;long lashes blinking a tear&mdash;queenly
-bearing&mdash;rods of lily held over bowing
-heads with such assurance of power as
-never a sceptre&mdash;aye, power greater than
-any emperor's, founded, dear God&mdash;upon
-what? at the mercy&mdash;of what? And he
-yearned and grieved over them, poor youth,
-as if he had been their maker.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="p6"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-
-<h2 id="PAULA_IN_ITALY">PAULA IN ITALY</h2></div>
-
-
-<p>On his way down-stairs Prospero came
-upon the <i>padrona di casa</i>.</p>
-
-<p>She stood at the door of the first floor,
-which he had supposed untenanted, the windows
-on the street being always dark. She
-looked pleased, anxious, and full of business.</p>
-
-<p>"Just step in for a moment, signorino,"
-she said, "and tell me what it seems to
-you."</p>
-
-<p>The young man followed her. The windows
-of the apartment were wide open&mdash;most
-likely to let in the heat, for to lean
-forth beyond the chill boundary of the
-stone walls was like dipping into a warm
-bath. The long, old, neatly darned lace
-curtains waved gently in the April air.
-The stone floors had been sprinkled; a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span>
-pleasant freshness arose from them. Everything
-had an air of having just been gone
-over with a damp dust-cloth; everything
-that could be furbished shone to the utmost
-of its capacity.</p>
-
-<p>The little woman led Prospero into the
-large <i>sala</i>, from which, through several open
-doors, one got glimpses of other airy chambers.
-The great height of the ceiling&mdash;increased
-to illusion by the cunning of the
-fresco, which professed to open into the sky
-itself, and show a flight of rosy cupids tumbling
-among the clouds&mdash;had the effect of
-dwarfing the furniture, even the gigantic
-vases under their shining bells. The seats
-were placed about in social groups; in the
-embrasure of the balcony window stood a
-small table supporting a coral-colored coffee
-service, lately placed between two low chairs,
-with a view to spreading about suggestions
-of cosiness&mdash;the joys of intimate life.</p>
-
-<p>"I see that you are expecting a tenant,"
-said Prospero.</p>
-
-<p>"So it is indeed; a great lady&mdash;a foreigner,"
-replied the <i>padrona</i>, under her<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span>
-breath. "Just see, signorino, what you
-make of this name." While she felt in her
-pocket she went on: "It is Dottor Segati
-sends her to me. Oh, he has sent me
-families before when there was a patient
-among them; and this apartment has always
-given satisfaction; that I can say with my
-hand upon my conscience. There&mdash;can you
-read it? I can tell the letters, but I can't
-make the sound. One ought to have another
-tongue on purpose for these foreign
-names."</p>
-
-<p>Prospero studied a second, then pronounced,
-clearly, "Gräfin Paula von Schattenort."</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Gräfin</i> means Countess," said the landlady.
-"The doctor told me that she is a
-Countess; but whether Danish or Swedish
-or Hollandish I don't remember. For me
-all those countries are the same. Schattenort,
-you call it? What would that be in
-Italian?"</p>
-
-<p>Prospero laughed. "It stays as it is, dear
-lady. Is this Countess young, do you know?"
-he went on, looking again at the name on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span>
-the paper he still held. "Is she coming here
-for her health?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know anything beyond the fact
-that the doctor engages the rooms for her,
-and I can rely upon him. Oh, he has sent
-me families before, you know, who have always
-been perfectly satisfied with me, and I
-with them. You can see yourself that the
-quarters are such that even a Countess
-might find herself well in them&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, truly," replied Prospero, agreeably.
-"She would be hard to please if she were
-not content. Well, if you allow me now, I
-go. Have you perhaps a commission of any
-sort for me? I shall do myself a pleasure in
-serving you."</p>
-
-<p>"Too good&mdash;much too good. If you
-would just say the name over&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Von Schattenort."</p>
-
-<p>"What it is to have a memory! What
-a thing is education! Not but that also I
-can make myself understood in the French
-tongue. Schattenort&mdash;Schattenort. I should
-not like to <i>scomparire</i>, you will understand, at
-the very first meeting. But if I forget, I will<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span>
-simply say <i>Signora Contessa</i>. Only one likes
-to be able to tell friends whom one has got
-in the house."</p>
-
-<p>Prospero, late already, was hurrying down
-the stairs, his music under his arm; at the
-foot he was forced to stop. He took off his
-hat, and leaned against the wall to let the
-ladies pass.</p>
-
-<p>The gray-haired gentleman talking unpractised
-French he knew to be Dottor
-Segati. He fixed upon Paula von Schattenort
-without a second's hesitation; of the
-two ladies, only the one in the hat and
-feather could, in his conception of possibility,
-be she. He was half-conscious as she
-passed him on her upward way of a faint
-pang of disappointment. The name had
-suggested to his imagination something tall
-and frail, delicate yet imposing, exceedingly,
-luminously blond, with eyes of a corn-flower
-blue. The magic of the name was defeated.</p>
-
-<p>He bethought him how late he would be,
-and without turning his head for a second
-look, or giving another thought to the arrivals,
-slipped past the two maids, who stood<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span>
-in the doorway talking in a language unknown
-to him, while the Countess's man
-handed them bundles from the carriages
-drawn up to the door.</p>
-
-<p>Paula, on entering the apartment, let her
-little gloved hands drop at her sides, and
-looking around with wide, quick eyes, gave
-a long sigh of pleasure.</p>
-
-<p>"Here I can breathe&mdash;here I can breathe
-indeed!" she said to her companion, in their
-Northern tongue; then turning to the doctor,
-she assured him in French that she found it
-charming, as she had found everything in
-Italy&mdash;that she thanked him for his goodness.
-The doctor and the landlady both
-watched her with a half smile and slightly
-raised eyebrows as she walked quickly
-through the rooms, exclaiming at every
-window with delight at sight of the fawn-colored,
-warm-looking river flowing below
-and flashing back the sunshine, and the low
-hills clothed in their early green.</p>
-
-<p>Her companion followed her with an unusual
-solemn dignity of manner, intended
-to counterbalance Paula's unaccustomed vi<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span>vacity,
-and give the people of the house, if
-possible, an adequate impression of the two
-as a whole.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, look&mdash;look, Cousin Veronika!" exclaimed
-the younger woman from the balcony,
-over the parapet of which she had
-been leaning venturously far&mdash;"look at that
-dear old bridge; it is the Jeweller's Bridge;
-I recognize it. <i>N'est-ce pas, cher docteur?</i>
-Oh, what a sky! But have you any patients
-at all in this city, doctor? Is it possible to
-be ill here? Do persons die? Of what? I
-will never believe it!"</p>
-
-<p>"My dear lady," said the gray doctor, his
-kindly face lighting as if with the reflection
-of her childish excitement, "will you be advised
-by me? Will you sit down on this
-commodious divan and rest a little, while
-you take what the signora has brought for
-you&mdash;this little glass of our white <i>vin santo</i>?
-It will do you good. You must be tired,
-very tired."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh no! no, doctor! It is like magic. I
-do not understand it. I feel like another. I
-shall not be tired here, ever. You must<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span>
-come and see me every day indeed, but not
-as a doctor&mdash;as my good, good friend. Tell
-me, is it still standing, the house where
-Dante lived? Have you a book&mdash;I mean,
-could you advise me a book&mdash;in which there
-is everything of the story about him and
-Beatrice? It must be sweet to think of
-when one is in their city."</p>
-
-<p>"I will do myself the pleasure of sending
-you the <i>Vita Nova</i>," he said; then, solicitously,
-"but accommodate yourself, my dearest
-lady, and drink this&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Vita Nova?</i> Does that mean new life?
-New life!" she said, as if to herself, suddenly
-half stretching her arms up in the air and
-smiling in indeterminate happiness at the
-ceiling, whereon the shining river cast a restless,
-quivering brightness. "Yes, send it
-me; I want to read it. I will drink this to
-please you, signor, but not that I am tired.
-Here is to New Life!"</p>
-
-<p>She touched her glass to the doctor's
-and Veronika's, and emptied it at an eager
-draught. Veronika watched her in surprised
-displeasure, sipping her own wine staidly and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span>
-decorously. It warmed her very heart to
-see Paula merry, only she thought it unbecoming
-to behave in the presence of strangers
-as if one were a person of no importance.</p>
-
-<p>Her good-humor returned as soon as the
-doctor and the <i>padrona</i> had excused themselves.
-When they were alone she seized
-Paula unceremoniously by the wrists and
-forced her back into an arm-chair; then lifted
-her feet, and with much decision placed
-them upon a footstool. "Now you don't
-stir," she said, shaking her finger in Paula's
-face.</p>
-
-<p>"But, cousin, it is so different," pleaded
-Paula. "I feel no more as I do at home,
-than this mild, heavenly air is like our
-joyless atmosphere. Are your eyes open,
-Cousin Veronika? Do you perceive the
-things about you&mdash;or is it all a dream of my
-own? It seemed to me as we drove from
-the station that we had arrived in an enchanted
-place."</p>
-
-<p>"It's just a city," murmured Veronika.</p>
-
-<p>"Those sombre palaces we passed, how
-they make the spring-time in the sky above<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span>
-them more lightsome, more warm! And
-those flowers banked up for sale against
-that black stone wall, could you see what
-they were? They seemed to me all new
-sorts&mdash;marvellous. Have you noticed how
-happy every one looks in Italy, even the
-beggars sitting in the sun? And what beautiful
-faces one sees&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>She stopped and mused, gazing ahead in
-silence for a few moments; then went on
-aloud: "Yes&mdash;beautiful faces, like pictures.
-Did you see the young man whom we met
-on the stairs? Not? Veronika, for what
-have you eyes? The light just there was a
-little dim, but I saw him perfectly. I passed
-him slowly on purpose&mdash;he leaned against
-the wall to let us go by him. He had wavy
-hair, longer than is usual, falling over his
-forehead, and soft brown eyes like an animal's.
-I am sure one sees such eyes only in
-Italy, half asleep, yet deeply intelligent, that
-when you look in them you think a thousand
-things&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"You certainly took in a great deal at a
-glance," said Veronika.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"Oh, I could tell you much else," laughed
-Paula; "beside that he wore a pink in
-his button-hole and carried a roll of music."</p>
-
-<p>"Veronika," she said, after a pause, jumping
-up from her chair and walking about excitedly
-as before, "we must be very happy
-here. We must begin at once. Think how
-much time we have lost&mdash;all our years up
-to this day. Now we must really enjoy
-ourselves, live&mdash;love!" she added, recklessly,
-with light in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>Veronika, kneeling over an open satchel,
-paused in her task to look over her spectacles
-with a vaguely shocked air, as if
-something immoral had been said.</p>
-
-<p>"This seems like the opening chapter in a
-lovely story-book that becomes more interesting
-with every page," said Paula, dropping
-on her knees and crushing her cheek to
-Veronika's gray hair, with an expansiveness
-that took this lady aback. "I have the happiest
-presentiments! Ah, Veronika, there
-was once a woman who said that happiness
-is to be young, beloved, and in Italy!"</p>
-
-<p>"Unless you keep quiet and rest," said<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span>
-Veronika, "you will be ill, and that is as far
-as <i>you</i> will get&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Paula stared a second in wonder at Veronika's
-impatience; then she reflected that her
-cousin was old and could not understand.
-"Poor Veronika!" she thought, with a sympathetic
-shake of the head, "<i>she</i> can never
-have but Italy!"</p>
-
-<p>Like a good child, she went back to her
-chair, but before settling down in it she
-pushed it to the balcony window; then she
-sat with her eyes fixed upon San Miniato.</p>
-
-<p>Dr. Segati came the next day, early. He
-found Paula pale and infinitely tired, but
-wearing a contented face. She sat in the
-balcony window, closed to-day, with a cushion
-behind her shoulders; flowers stood in
-the water near her&mdash;a delight to the eyes,
-wonderful wind-flowers, white and pink, purple,
-scarlet, pale violet. She rose to meet
-the doctor, and gave him the childish smile
-that had won his heart to her the day before.</p>
-
-<p>She pointed to the book she held. "It
-came last night. I thank you. I am trying<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span>
-to read it, you see. But I do not know
-enough. I can make only just a little sense
-here and there, where it resembles French.
-Oh, I like it all the same&mdash;very much. The
-title is beautiful&mdash;<i>Vita Nova</i>!"</p>
-
-<p>"Tell her she must not read, doctor," said
-Veronika. "It is bad for her. She has been
-tiring herself over the book."</p>
-
-<p>The doctor listened politely, an intelligent
-eye fixed on Veronika's, and made no objection
-to what she said. She had always
-after that half an idea that he understood her.</p>
-
-<p>"I had the cook sent in," said Paula, with
-a brightening face. "The native cook whom
-the <i>padrona</i> was so good as to engage for
-me. I asked her about some passages. She
-could read them easily&mdash;how I envied her!&mdash;but
-she could not make them clear to me,
-though she seemed to do her best."</p>
-
-<p>The doctor laughed amusedly, and took a
-seat beside her. "What an eager little lady!
-Certainly that is the way to learn. But why
-this hurry? The great object first is to become
-robust. Oh, this air will do it! I have
-no fear. And how did you sleep?"</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Paula blushed as if caught in fault. "I
-don't know why it should be I lay awake so
-much. My old doctor at home (I bless him
-for his inspiration of sending me here!) has
-written you about me, I suppose. I dare
-say you know I cough sometimes in the
-night. Doctor," she asked, abruptly, "who
-lives above us?"</p>
-
-<p>He looked interrogatively at the ceiling,
-and shook his head.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, I am so sorry you do not happen
-to know. It is a great musician, and I feel
-much gratitude towards him. I was becoming
-nervous with lying awake&mdash;I was on
-the point of calling my poor cousin&mdash;when
-some one began playing on the piano in
-the room above me. Sweetly, very sweetly.
-I could hear it just distinctly enough. It
-was a joy. I lay awake, but it soothed me
-more than sleep."</p>
-
-<p>"I seem to remember that there is a
-music-master living in the house," said the
-doctor. "I will beg the <i>padrona</i> to speak to
-him. He should not play in the night."</p>
-
-<p>"Not at all," exclaimed Paula, with a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span>
-warmth he could not expect. "Please, I
-want him to play. I shall be grieved if you
-say anything to prevent him. It does not
-keep me awake. If I were sleepy I could not
-hear it."</p>
-
-<p>The doctor prolonged his visit far into the
-forenoon. At the first movement he made
-to go, Paula said, pleadingly: "Oh, not yet.
-I entertain myself so willingly with you!"
-And he stayed.</p>
-
-<p>He was interested, in the woman as well
-as in the case. She was different from his
-other aristocratic patients. She was of a
-type new to him; without appearing to, he
-studied her face as she spoke, and from it,
-and from frequent allusions she dropped, he
-built up a theory of her past.</p>
-
-<p>He divined that she was older than she
-looked. It was, he resolved, the childlike
-glance and smile, the voice as of shyness
-overcome, her artlessness, her continually
-outcropping ignorance of the world, her
-immature mind perhaps, that gave the impression
-of youthfulness one at first received
-from her. If one looked well, she<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span>
-had even already a sad little beginning of
-faded appearance. Her face was a trifle
-broad, and the high cheek-bones were commencing
-slightly to accuse themselves, as
-they say in French. The charm of her
-countenance, to such as felt it, lay in her
-eyes: they were unsophisticated, hopeful,
-interested, idealizing eyes. Vanity, it must
-be pityingly related, had taught her nothing.
-Her blond hair, dull and fine and soft&mdash;a
-large treasure that would have made the
-boast of many another woman&mdash;was drawn
-away rigorously from her forehead, braided,
-and wound compactly against the back of
-her head, like a school-girl's.</p>
-
-<p>He noticed with amused wonder how unpretending&mdash;nay,
-provincial, homely, for persons
-of rank and fortune&mdash;was the <i>mise</i> of
-the two women. Fashion by them was misconstrued,
-or else despised. He did not incline
-to the latter interpretation of their
-plainness; he rather laid to a touching innocence
-of the mode's dictates Mamsell
-Veronika's pelerine and the black lace tabs
-on the sides of her head; the antiquated cut<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span>
-of Paula's deep violet gown, the little black
-silk mitts that covered her pale pretty hands
-to the point where her rings began. These
-were numerous rather than rich, and gave
-the impression of being heirlooms&mdash;things
-worn for a memory: brilliants mounted in
-darkening silver, enamels, carnelians; one
-showed a pale gleam of human hair.</p>
-
-<p>Paula had never spoken so much about
-herself to any one as she did to the doctor.
-Her loquacity was an effect of her unreasoning
-instinct that in this new place everything
-was good to her, every influence favorable.
-She let herself go in a way that would have
-seemed out of her nature at home.</p>
-
-<p>All she had ever read in the long, melancholy
-winter evenings at Schattenort, of poetry
-or romance, came back to her mind in
-essence, drawn to the surface by an inexplicable
-magic. Her conversation in this
-mental excitement teemed with allusions
-and modest flowers of speech that almost
-surprised herself, and gave her a strange delight.
-She felt as she were some one she had
-some time read of.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"Oh, we will make you well, quite well,
-soon," said the doctor, cheerily, on taking
-his leave. "But you must promise to be
-very good, very prudent."</p>
-
-<p>He gave his directions with a light air, but
-as he turned from the door a shadow settled
-upon his kindly old face.</p>
-
-<p>In his breast-pocket lay folded the letter
-his colleague, Paula's former doctor, had
-written him. The consciousness of what
-was said in it gave rise in his heart to a tender,
-grateful thought of his own children&mdash;grown-up
-daughters, fair and healthy, happily
-established in life.</p>
-
-<p>Paula had hoped to go for a drive that
-day, but a light rain fell, and she could only
-watch the turbid stream outside through
-the glistening window-pane. She sat with
-her forehead leaning against it, her book in
-her lap. Now and then she opened this and
-let her eyes wander over the lines, without
-trying to understand, just for a pleasure she
-found in its being Italian too.</p>
-
-<p>She had prevailed upon Veronika to go
-out for a walk, so that she might amuse<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span>
-her with an account of what there was to
-see.</p>
-
-<p>Towards evening the clouds broke. She
-saw the red reflection of the sunset on the
-river. Tempted, she opened the balcony
-door; a smell of damp stone came gratefully
-to her nostrils. She slipped out and leaned
-over the cool balusters, and looked up and
-down the empty gleaming street. The hills
-were as if washed with wine; the air was
-sparkling. She heard a footstep; she hoped
-it might be Veronika's. She looked. But
-it was not a woman. She recognized the
-young man who had been on the stairs
-when she arrived. He did not look up.
-She leaned over to see him disappear in the
-<i>portone</i> below. Then, swiftly, she came in-doors
-and stopped in the middle of the floor.
-She listened intently. In a few moments she
-thought to hear, faintly, faintly, footsteps in
-the room above. She clasped her hands silently,
-saying to herself with unaccountable
-excitement: "I knew it already. I knew it
-well."</p>
-
-<p>Late in the night again she heard music.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span>
-She had been listening for it a long time.
-Night to her was often tediously long. Often
-she spent many hours staring at the square
-of paler darkness, star-bestrewn, the window
-made. At a certain pitch of nervousness,
-soon reached when the city had become quiet
-and the stillness of the bedroom was full of
-mysterious sounds, she always thought of a
-dear sister she had lost, rehearsing old sad
-scenes vivid in her brain as if they had been
-lived through but yesterday. Her own physical
-discomfort increased as she thought of
-that other girl's long-drawn-out suffering. It
-seemed to her that already she could not
-breathe; her body was damp with sweat of
-fear. "It is all useless!" she groaned, tossing
-wretchedly. "I too&mdash;I too am going
-that way!" Then she prayed diligently, and
-looked out up at the stars with a return of
-tranquillity, hoping steadfastly in a beautiful
-world beyond them.</p>
-
-<p>But on the night in question she lay
-patiently and happily watchful. And late
-in the night again she heard music. No
-very definite melody was played; it was as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span>
-if skilful hands were dreamily straying over
-the keys, unravelling a little tangled skein
-of musical impression, thinking aloud. The
-tune wandered and flitted like a butterfly
-over a summer garden. Paula's thought
-climbed upward and entered the musician's
-chamber. She saw him clearly, leaning back,
-looking upward, swaying slightly. She took
-joy in the symmetry of his dark Italian face.
-She pictured him intensely, and held her
-breath gazing. Then she tried to build up
-his surroundings; she adorned his room poetically.</p>
-
-<p>Satisfied at last, her imagination folded
-its wings and dropped back into its nest.
-She merely listened, and let herself be comforted;
-accepted passively what dreams the
-music imposed. It was as if she and another
-were walking in a moonless starry
-night along a quiet village road; and the
-dewy flowers in the stilly little gardens
-skirting the way were giving forth perfume
-in the warm dark. Then it was as if another
-and she were in a boat with drooping
-sail, becalmed, drifting slowly. The<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span>
-moon was behind a great cloud wonderfully
-silvered on the ravelled edges; the sea at
-the horizon was a streak of pure light. The
-other had laid her on velvet cushions and
-covered her with a cloak, was playing and
-singing softly to her. They hoped the wind
-would not rise. Drifting&mdash;drifting. And she
-slept.</p>
-
-<p>In the gayest mood next day she showed
-the doctor a little package of letters to different
-persons in the city, but said that
-she was not ready yet to let these distinguished
-ones know of her arrival; she must
-first attend to various important things. He
-derived from her words that she wished to
-make her establishment more elegant, and
-became gruff and severe when she asked
-him to procure for her the address of the
-most fashionable mantua&mdash;maker. She almost
-cried when he forbade the expense of
-any precious energy on worldly vanities, but
-was half consoled by his promise soon to
-make her well enough to employ a master
-in the art of playing the guitar.</p>
-
-<p>He prescribed a daily drive in the sun<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span>niest
-hour. Paula came back from her first
-excursion with flushed cheeks. Veronika
-grumbled: "I will tell the doctor, and he
-will forbid your going out at all. It is not
-to kneel in damp churches will help you.
-You might as well take up your abode in
-the cellar."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't scold me," said Paula, gently. "I
-had to thank God."</p>
-
-<p>Towards sunset she seated herself on the
-balcony wrapped in fleecy white, and looked
-down the street towards the Jeweller's
-Bridge. She saw Prospero come. But he
-did not look up. That night again she
-heard him play.</p>
-
-<p>Many times she sat on the balcony and
-saw Prospero coming. Sometimes he looked
-up, but oftener he passed into the house
-unaware of a Countess gazing after him
-from above.</p>
-
-<p>Some nights he did not play; those were
-restless, disappointed nights for her.</p>
-
-<p>Once or twice she met him on the stairs as
-she was going to her carriage; he glanced at
-her with an unimpressed eye, then looked<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span>
-elsewhere, standing against the wall, hat in
-hand.</p>
-
-<p>Occasionally she saw him in the street,
-but he seemed never to see her. A vague
-heartache grew out of those occasions.</p>
-
-<p>The Italian spring deepened in warmth
-and color; the air had a fragrance, some
-days, as of lilacs; other days, more penetrating,
-as of hyacinths. The little hills in
-the midst of which Florence lies took on
-dewy morning hues of the opal, changing
-evening tints of the dark dove's neck. The
-pure noon light made the statues in the
-King's Garden, where Paula walked sometimes,
-look dazzlingly white against the
-sombre walls of clipped laurel. The open
-country now was full of blossoming fruit
-trees; Paula often begged Veronika to
-alight from the carriage and gather for
-her the flowers she saw shining in the
-grass&mdash;primroses and violets, tulips, narcissi,
-fleurs-de-lis. She brought home immense
-nosegays, which she spent long minutes
-breathing; this perfume of Italy went
-to her brain.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>At sunset once a red flower lay by chance
-on the rail of the balcony, just where a
-movement of her arm would brush it off; it
-would drop in the street. A bold thought
-crossed her mind. But that evening Prospero
-did not come at the usual hour. She
-sat outside, trembling slightly as the dusk
-closed around her and the dew fell; then
-Veronika, with shrill cries of surprise and
-blame, came to fetch her in. She felt guilty
-and ashamed, and did not protest. She
-spent the evening on the divan, with her
-face to the wall, crying softly with a vast
-invincible melancholy, a sense of forlornness
-and failure, giving no explanation of her
-humor.</p>
-
-<p>She was kept in-doors for many days after
-that. Only she insisted upon being folded
-in a fur and seated on the balcony at a certain
-hour every afternoon. The beggar-woman
-stationed at the street corner with
-a basket on her knees got used to seeing
-the sick <i>forestiera</i> appear, who always threw
-her a bit of silver, and gave her a faint little
-smile.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Veronika suffered from Paula's silence and
-depression. She went about with two deep
-lines constantly between her updrawn brows.
-Her heart misgave her; her inability to communicate
-with the doctor and those around
-her became a gnawing despair. She formed
-a habit, which never left her after, of talking
-audibly to herself. She gave up the effort to
-hold cheerful conversation with Paula, and
-simply tried to preserve in her presence an
-unconcerned attitude. She secretly yearned
-to be at home. She felt an unappeasable
-animosity towards this Italy, that had seemed
-to do her Paula so much good, only to
-make her worse. She began to hate everything
-Italian.</p>
-
-<p>Paula herself sat by the window watching
-the hills opposite with an absent face. Now
-and then she rose to take a few desultory
-steps about the large room, touching the
-things, passing her hand over the flowers,
-making the guitar-strings give forth a murmur
-as she brushed them; she went back to
-her chair and closed her eyes, tired out.</p>
-
-<p>Once a friend was walking at Prospero's<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span>
-side. They were talking. As they approached,
-the friend looked up, and evidently
-asked a question of Prospero, who
-looked up too: she thought his lips framed
-her name. Her heart leaped; she drew
-back, faint, and felt foolish at feeling such
-pleasure. She waited more eagerly than
-usual that night to hear him; it seemed
-the music must have a special message for
-her. Silence&mdash;utter, atrocious. The night
-seemed unending.</p>
-
-<p>The doctor wondered next day what spring
-had broken within her. She showed so little
-interest in anything; she was fretful as he
-had never seen her before. He scarcely
-knew how to conduct himself to avoid irritating
-her. At a loss, he picked up the little
-tome of <i>Vita Nova</i>, that always lay on the table
-at her side, and inquired of her progress in it.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, put it away!" she said, tears springing
-to her eyes. "Put it away! I cannot
-suffer it. That title exasperates me; it
-works upon my nerves. Doctor, doctor, I
-shall never be well again!" and she poured
-forth a long complaint.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter2em" id="illo5"><img src="images/illo5.jpg" width="500"
-height="351" alt="" title="" />
-<div class="caption">
-<p>"PAULA HERSELF SAT BY THE WINDOW"</p>
-</div></div>
-
-
-
-<p class="p2"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span>
-He feigned to make light of her fears; he
-comforted her. Casting about in his mind
-for things to say that should divert, interest
-her in her gray mood, he found this, which
-brought the sudden color to her face:</p>
-
-<p>"Did you not once ask me who lived in
-the apartment above? I know now. I will
-not take the credit of having applied myself
-to discover just on that hint of curiosity from
-you; I confess hearing it by chance. Your
-neighbor is the young <i>maestro</i> Prospero
-C&mdash;&mdash;, celebrated in his way. He has
-written an opera, to be produced for the first
-time precisely to-night. Those who know
-promise great things for it&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>She had leaned forward, listening thirstily.
-The doctor could congratulate himself.</p>
-
-<p>When Veronika went to the door with
-him, he turned upon her suddenly, and asked,
-almost violently: "Why did you wait so
-long? Why did you not bring her to this
-climate before?"</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him in a puzzled way, and
-in her turn said something he could not understand.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span>
-He appeared for a moment as if he meant
-to shake her, but shrugged his shoulders and
-brusquely left.</p>
-
-<p>Some who were present at the first night
-of "Parisina" remember well how when the
-curtain dropped on the first act and they
-looked about to discover whom they should
-salute, their attention was arrested by the
-strange apparition in one of the second-tier
-boxes. There, in a crimson velvet chair, sat
-very upright an unknown lady in a gown
-such as no one nowadays wears&mdash;a gown of
-cloth of gold, that might have figured at a
-court ball perhaps a century earlier. An
-ermine-lined mantle half covered her arms
-and neck, dainty thin and white as wax, and
-half extinguished the gleam of her heavy
-jewels. A wreath of roses was twined in
-her pale hair, that might have made one
-laugh in its <i>démodé</i> pretentiousness but that
-one divined the lady to be a foreigner from
-some Northern country, where perhaps it is
-still customary to adorn the hair with a garland.
-She held her fan like a sceptre, her fingers
-stiffly closed on the pearl sticks. A<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span>
-mass of roses lay in her lap. She turned a
-colorless face upon the stage; her eyes were
-wide and glassy, and fixed as a somnambulist's.</p>
-
-<p>On the opposite side of the box, less clearly
-defined against the darkness, sat an elderly,
-soberly clad lady, whose face expressed a
-degree of uneasiness, misery, and fear almost
-pitiful&mdash;if not comical&mdash;to behold. She
-made no pretence of interest in the stage or
-the gleaming galleries, but watched her golden-haired
-companion with an unswerving,
-frightened eye.</p>
-
-<p>No one knew who these were, though
-many took pains to discover.</p>
-
-<p>Through the second act the lady in gold
-listened breathlessly, as if life itself were suspended.
-It seemed to her that the soul left
-her body, and went floating up, up, on the
-strains of the music. She was praying, praying
-with all her strength, for the success of
-this work, that the people might feel just
-as she felt how it was beautiful!</p>
-
-<p>When a crash of applause came and a call
-for the composer, it seemed but an answer to
-her prayer. She rose to her feet, radiant.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Prospero C&mdash;&mdash; came to the foot-lights
-below, looking a slight thing, the acclaimed
-great man, in his close black evening dress,
-and bowed his thanks. Then, as the applause
-continued, he lingered a moment,
-and let his eye pass along the friendly
-faces in the boxes, a grateful emotion expressed
-in his smile.</p>
-
-<p>The lady in gold leaned over the velvet
-parapet, breathing short, tremulously smiling,
-her flowers in her hands. His eye
-passed her unrecognizing. She wanted to
-shout: "It is I, Paula! Nothing could
-keep me away!" The clamor subsided.
-Panting, she leaned back in the shade.</p>
-
-<p>The third act ended in triumph. Again
-the composer was called. Paula laughed
-and cried at the same time, clapping her
-little hands like mad, forgetting herself.</p>
-
-<p>Then, when it was all over and she sat in
-the dark carriage rolling homeward, she felt
-a chill seizing upon her very heart; she began
-to shiver. But her physical condition scarcely
-interested her; a sense of the sad things of
-life weighed heavily upon her: the vanity of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span>
-earthly hopes, the evanescence of happy
-things, the inequality in the measure of pain
-and pleasure to God's children, the fugitiveness
-of illusions, the foolishness of dreams.
-She thought of the beggar sitting at the corner
-in sun and rain through years: she felt
-disgust for a world where such things could
-be. She said, "It is a good thing to have
-done with it. It is a deliverance. I will
-not give it one regret; no, not one." She
-felt suddenly that she did not love Italy: it
-had betrayed her. "It is you, you who are
-to blame," she said, full of helpless resentment,
-shaking a pale small hand vaguely
-from the window out at the balmy moonlit
-world; "you, soft air! you, flower smell!
-you, velvety firmament with the many-colored
-stars! I was a simple soul: my common
-life was enough for me; you sowed in
-my unguarded heart all the seeds of vain
-dreams, and fostered them. And they bear
-no fruit; they wither on their shallow roots&mdash;they
-are weeds!&mdash;But I will not curse you,
-for God made you lovely."</p>
-
-<p>She closed her eyes; her thoughts turned<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span>
-to remote Schattenort; she wished she were
-there again, in the dull, quiet, big, cold, familiar
-country house where she had been
-born and bred. A mist of bitter longing
-rose in her eyes. The moon was shining
-clamorously, obtrusively; it cast a green
-light, a light almost warm, on the pale
-pavement. She hated its fervent beauty.
-"Would God I were home!" she sighed.</p>
-
-<p>Veronika, mistaking her meaning, said,
-"You are almost there."</p>
-
-<p>Paula suffered Veronika and her maid to
-put her to bed. She seemed not to notice
-them. She was thinking&mdash;far away. Out of
-habit she listened a moment for the piano
-above. But all was silent. "He is happy,"
-she said to herself; "he has gone with his
-friends. Or perhaps he is up there living it
-all over again." And her imagination, touched
-anew with the old obstinate insanity, took
-the road up to his never-seen chamber, bent
-over him, and rejoiced with him. "Oh, if I
-could&mdash;" she said; "if I could! But he will
-never know how a dying noble lady used to
-listen to his playing in the dead of night,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span>
-and loved him, and left him her blessing&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Veronika had no sleep that night. Before
-day the doctor was summoned. He remained
-several hours. At going he drew Veronika
-aside, and by signs succeeded at last in
-procuring from her the package of letters the
-Countess had once shown him. He looked
-at the superscriptions, and took from among
-them one "To the Abbé S&mdash;&mdash;."</p>
-
-<p>That evening he brought with him a white-haired
-old man in priestly garb, whom Veronika
-was relieved to hear address her in
-her native tongue.</p>
-
-<p>Presently, with muffled footsteps and a
-frightened, solemn mien, she led him into
-the Countess's bedroom, dimly lighted by
-shaded candles, and left them long alone
-together.</p>
-
-<p>Prospero, returning home that night, opened
-the window wide and stood a moment
-looking out at the stars, at peace with life,
-every desire for the moment hushed, satisfied.
-Then he lighted the candles on the
-piano, and the faint yellow illumination<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span>
-brought out a hint of color in the objects
-around. It showed an ordinary, rather bare
-room; he lived in it very little. The littering
-music and the piano formed its chief
-adornment.</p>
-
-<p>He sat down, but for a moment did not
-touch the keys. He removed the flower
-from his coat and smelt it, thinking of
-Rosina, who had given it him at the theatre
-door&mdash;Rosina with the broad velvet-faced
-hat, the tight silk dress, the diamonds in her
-ears, and the small basket of flowers on her
-arm. She was pretty&mdash;oh, pretty! Having
-thought how pretty she was, he wisely tossed
-away her faded favor, determining to remain
-cold and prudent. He shook back his
-hair, as if thereby to free his mind of her,
-spread his hands over the ivory keys, and
-began, as he loved to do before sleeping, to
-let his fancies and emotions make themselves
-sound.</p>
-
-<p>He played long, losing himself, finding a
-melodious vesture for his half-formed dream.
-The night was very quiet; it came to be
-very late without his perceiving it. Sudden<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span>ly
-he felt a cool air on his forehead&mdash;he
-looked up, and paused in his playing, his
-hands motionless above the keys, his lips
-open. He felt that he ought to speak, but
-his voice failed to answer his will. He was
-asking himself in the dim background of his
-consciousness how the Countess Paula von
-Schattenort had entered his dwelling so
-noiselessly, and what she might be seeking
-there. More clearly he was wondering at
-her face, strangely still and white, vaguely
-woe-begone, astonished, pathetic. He
-recognized her, yet she seemed to him altered
-from the one he sometimes saw on the
-balcony and met on the stairs&mdash;that object
-without interest, a woman not pretty. Perhaps
-it was the wonderful hair that, shining
-along her cheeks like a pale gilded mist,
-transfigured her. The firm fine braids that
-heretofore he had seen always wound in
-austere simplicity about her head were undone;
-the narrowly waved hair floated to her
-knees; her face peered wistfully between
-two shimmering bands of it. She was
-clothed in a white garment bordered with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span>
-dark fur; a heavy rosary hung about her
-neck.</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him a long moment with
-fixed eyes, an expression of plaintive disillusion,
-and said nothing.</p>
-
-<p>He tried to ask in what manner he might
-serve her, but his tongue was numb.</p>
-
-<p>She turned and looked all about the room,
-very slowly, as a person seeking something.
-Then she looked again at him, silently, with
-that same face of disappointment; and her
-hands, that had been tightly shut on the
-golden crucifix appended to her rosary,
-opened and slipped softly to her sides. She
-turned to the door. He rose from his seat,
-and without taking his eyes from her, fumbled
-to lift the candle from its socket, to light
-her way; he was awkward in his amazement.
-He saw her pass the threshold. In a second
-he followed her. She was not in the next
-room. He passed through the two rooms
-that separated him from the door leading to
-the common stairway. He came to the door;
-it was as he had left it, secured for the night.
-Seized with dismay, in spite of the thought<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span>
-that she must have lingered behind in the
-shady embrasure of a window, he undid the
-chain and bolt and came out on the landing
-and looked, expecting inconsistently to see a
-white figure vanishing down the steps. He
-saw nothing but a faint light cast upon the
-wall at the turn of the stairs. He stood hesitating.</p>
-
-<p>In a moment he heard below a sound of
-weeping; he went down with a trembling of
-the knees. On the landing of the <i>piano
-nobile</i> was the landlady. She had set her
-little brass lamp on the last step, and was crying.
-The door to the Countess's apartment
-was wide open, and the draught from there
-made the tiny flame flicker and smoke.</p>
-
-<p>"What is it?" said Prospero, in a husky
-whisper.</p>
-
-<p>"She is dead, the poor lady!" sobbed the
-<i>padrona</i>.</p>
-
-<p>He felt his hair softly rising.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="p6"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-
-<h2 id="DORASTUS">DORASTUS</h2></div>
-
-
-<p>She had large violet eyes, of a melancholy
-effect, and fine honey-colored hair, flowing
-smoothly over her ears. She looked excessively
-meek and always a little apprehensive,
-as if accustomed to reproaches, yet never
-quite hardened to them. One easily supposed
-her to be an orphan.</p>
-
-<p>She lived with an aunt, her mother's half-sister,
-considerably older and less pleasing
-than her mother in that charming woman's
-brief day. Her cousins were all older than
-she; the girls were so perfect in every respect
-that intimacy between her and them was out
-of the question; the son, a big, blunt young
-man, was mostly away, and, when at home,
-too much taken up with other interests to be
-more than just aware of the violet eyes. So,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span>
-life was very dull for Emmeline&mdash;"Emmie"
-she was familiarly called.</p>
-
-<p>She went often of an evening to her
-mother's grave, and, sitting beside it, reflected
-how it was in keeping with the general
-sadness of things that there should be no
-prospect of any change for her in all the
-years of her life, no change from the present
-weary round of aunt and cousins, of sterile
-duties and insipid pleasures.</p>
-
-<p>And there, by her mother's grave, came
-the very change she was sighing for. She sat
-on the sward, musingly watching the square
-tower of the church grow gray against
-the delicate, flushed sky, when she became
-aware of a stranger going from stone to stone
-in the fading light, examining the inscriptions.
-At first she was afraid. While she debated
-whether to hide or flee, the stranger approached,
-and in a foreign voice and accent
-asked some common question about the
-place. She could not answer readily for a foolish
-shame mixed with terror. She got to her
-feet, blushing, then turning pale. It could be
-none other than the astonishing fiddler who<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span>
-had played the night before in the hall at
-Colthorpe, and who could, they said, make
-your hair rise on end by the power of weird,
-unearthly music, or your eyes dissolve with
-tenderness&mdash;as he chose. She stared without
-speech into his dark, peculiar face. And he,
-seeing that she was discomfited, instead of
-apologizing and withdrawing, undertook, in a
-tone as persuasive as his violin's, to set her at
-ease. And when a few days later he disappeared
-from that part of the world, the violet
-eyes disappeared too.</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Lucretia in time received a letter,
-asking her forgiveness and announcing Emmie's
-marriage.</p>
-
-<p>She did not grant her forgiveness until
-several years later, after due savoring of sad,
-black-bordered letters from Emmie, imploring
-kindness. Her husband, after a brief illness,
-was dead; her little boy and she were left
-alone, without anything in the world. She acknowledged
-her fault so humbly; she owned
-so freely that her marriage had been excessively&mdash;deservedly&mdash;wretched;
-she longed
-so desperately to be taken back into her old<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span>
-home, that Lucretia found herself relenting.
-Her daughters were now married and lived
-at a distance; she felt daily more and more
-the need of a female companion. Her son,
-after reading the young widow's pitiful appeals,
-protested that it would be inhuman to
-refuse her a shelter. It was decided that she
-should be allowed to come, and in time the
-big, blunt Gregory, of whom she had been
-afraid in old days, went a long stretch of the
-journey to meet her, for that had seemed to
-him requisite, though to his mother superfluous.
-He even crossed the arm of sea that
-she must presently be crossing, with no apparent
-purpose but to cross it again with her.</p>
-
-<p>When the boat was well out at sea and
-the passengers had disposed themselves
-in patience about the deck, he marched up
-and down, as did several of the others, and,
-while avoiding to look like one in search,
-sought diligently the remembered face of his
-cousin.</p>
-
-<p>It was a cheerless gray day. The sea was
-quiet; the boat pitched but slightly. He
-was not long unsuccessful; when he had satis<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span>fied
-himself that she was not in the crowd on
-the windside, he went to lee and saw her
-sitting almost alone. She might have gone
-there for warmth. She did not seem to
-notice that cinders and fine soot were raining
-down upon her. He found himself disinclined
-to accost her at once; he went to lean
-where he could watch her without pointed
-appearance of curiosity.</p>
-
-<p>She looked mournful in her black things&mdash;not
-the new, crisp crape of well-to-do bereavement,
-but a poor gentlewoman's ordinary
-shabby black. Her cheeks had lost their
-pretty roundness; the effect of her eyes was
-more than ever melancholy. The pale little
-face, set in its faint-colored hair, framed in
-its black bonnet, might pass a hundred times
-unnoticed: it had little to arrest the attention;
-but attention, by whatever chance
-once secured, must be followed by a gentle,
-compassionate interest in the breast of the
-beholder. This emotion felt Gregory.</p>
-
-<p>She sat on one of the ship's benches, hugging
-her black wrap about her, hiding in it
-her little gloveless hands. A bundle was on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span>
-her lap, at her feet a large bag. She looked
-wearily off over the crumpled leaden plain,
-and now and then called: "Dorastus! Dorastus!"</p>
-
-<p>At that, a toddling bundle came towards
-her, never near enough to be caught, and
-toddled off again, coming and going busily,
-with muttered baby soliloquy. He was a
-comical little figure, clumsily muffled against
-the cold, with a pointed knit cap drawn well
-down over his ears. If he ignored her call,
-she rose and fetched him, shaking his little
-hand and bidding him not to go again so far
-from mother. He dragged at his arm, squealing
-the while she exhorted, and almost tumbled
-over when she let him loose. Then he
-resumed his interrupted play.</p>
-
-<p>After a time he seemed to tire of it. He
-came to his mother and, touching the bag at
-her feet, unintelligibly demanded something.
-She shook her head. He seemed to repeat
-his demand. "No, no, Dorastus&mdash;mother
-can't!" she said, fretfully. Then this dot of
-humanity made himself formidable. Gregory
-watched in surprise the little imperious face<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span>
-become disquietingly like an angry man's.
-He hammered with both small fists on his
-mother's knee, and stamped and loudly sputtered.
-She caught his arms for a moment
-and held them quiet; mother and child
-looked each other in the face, his strange,
-unbabyish, heavy-browed eyes flaming, hers
-lit with a low smouldering resentment. He
-struggled from her grasp, and at last, as his
-conduct was beginning to attract attention,
-she stooped, vanquished, and, bruising her
-fingers on the awkward buckles, undid the
-bag.</p>
-
-<p>Gregory at this point approached and
-spoke to her by name. She lifted her face,
-her eyes full of helpless tears. She reddened
-faintly on recognizing him. She handed
-the boy a diminutive toy-fiddle from the
-bag. Pacified, he retired at a little distance
-and, while his mamma and the gentleman
-entered into conversation, scraped seriously,
-the tassel on the tip of his cap bobbing with
-his funny little <i>airs de tęte</i>.</p>
-
-<p>"How good of you, how good of you&mdash;how
-comforting to me!" she said, her forlorn<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span>
-face softly brightening; "I was getting so
-tired of taking care of myself! I have never
-travelled alone, and&mdash;and I am so timid&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>How different seemed the old house to
-Emmie returning! She settled down in it
-with the sense of passionate contentment. I
-can imagine in a dove restored to the cote
-after escaping the fowler's snare and the rage
-of wintry storms. How shut it was against
-the cold! how safe from arrogant men demanding
-money! Life in it now seemed to
-her one round of luxurious pleasures: one
-could sleep undisturbed, tea and buttered
-bread came as regularly as the desire for
-them; flowers bloomed at every season on
-mantel-shelf and table; the grate glowed as
-if to glow were no more than a grate's nature.
-There was undeniably the domestic tyrant
-still; but what a mild one by comparison!
-Aunt Lucretia might be peremptory and
-critical and contradictory: to Emmie in these
-days she personated a benevolent Providence.
-It is possible that the lady's disposition had
-softened towards her niece: her superior
-daughters were removed, and the little widow<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span>
-with her manifold experiences was unquestionably
-a person more interesting to have
-about than the moping girl of yore.</p>
-
-<p>The two ladies, sitting together with their
-wools, in undertones talked over Emmie's
-married miseries. She was as ready with her
-confidences as Aunt Lucretia with her listening
-ear. There seemed no end to what she
-had to tell or the number of times she might
-relate the same incident and be heard out with
-tolerance. She was glad of some one to whom
-to unburden her heart of its accumulated
-grievance; she could not but be a little glad,
-too, now it was well over, that so much that
-was unusual had happened to her, since it lent
-her this importance. Aunt Lucretia gave a
-great deal of good advice&mdash;said what she would
-have done in like case; Emmie accepted it
-with as much humble gratitude as if it had
-still been of service. She concurred with all
-her heart in her aunt's unqualified condemnation
-of her first lapse from the respectable
-path&mdash;her elopement; she declared with perfect
-sincerity that she was puzzled to explain
-how it all happened&mdash;certainly before<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span>
-a week had been over the folly of it had
-stared her in the face.</p>
-
-<p>The young widow, when she had taken
-her aunt through scenes of rage and jealousy
-that made that matron's nostrils open
-as a war-horse's, and had shown up the petty
-tyrannies and meannesses of a bad-tempered,
-vindictive, vain man, afflicted with a set of
-morbidly tense nerves, would sometimes inconsistently
-betray a sort of pride in the
-fact that she had been adored by this erratic
-being, whose ill-treatment of her came partly
-from that fact; also a certain pride in the
-assurance she had had on every side, of his
-being a great artist who might have risen to
-fortune had he been blessed with a different
-constitution. A prince had once, in token of
-his appreciation, bestowed on him a jewelled
-order; Emmie wished she had not been
-forced to sell it when he was ill. She herself
-could not judge of his playing&mdash;she
-could not abide the sound of a violin&mdash;but
-the star might be accounted a proof of his
-ability.</p>
-
-<p>"You were too meek, my dear," said<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span>
-Lucretia, conclusively, after a tale of oppression;
-"I should have taken a stand."</p>
-
-<p>"Dear aunt," said Emmie, pensively considering
-her relative's size and the cast of
-her features, "I think you would. He would
-have been afraid of you. If I displeased him,
-he said I was rebellious because I felt myself
-bolstered up by the admiration of whoever
-in the inn had happened to give me
-a passing glance, and he would torment me
-until I swore I loved him with every thought
-of my life. Sometimes, when he had made
-me cry, he would cry, too&mdash;I hate that in a
-man, aunt!&mdash;and go on tormenting me until
-I said I forgave him&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Ah, I should have taught him a lesson!"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, aunt, you would. But I swore whatever
-he pleased. If I was sulky, he was as
-likely as not to sit up all night, wailing on
-his violin when I wanted to sleep. He always
-took remote chambers at inns, for the
-privilege of playing at night, if he pleased.
-If I complained, he said that if I had liked
-the music it would have soothed me to sleep,
-and if I did not like it, it was well I should be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span>
-kept awake. He was very sore on the
-point of my not being in love with his
-music."</p>
-
-<p>"I should like to see a man play the fiddle
-in my bedroom!" said Aunt Lucretia, with a
-face of danger.</p>
-
-<p>And Emmie, from this lady's example and
-counsel, got a retrospective courage that enabled
-her in memory, now that she was well-fed,
-well-dressed, and possessed of the assurance
-that goes with those conditions, to
-bring the stormy scenes with her husband to
-an end more honorable to herself. She could
-imagine herself even braving him&mdash;when,
-perhaps, would come in sight Dorastus. Then
-her heart would sink in consciousness of its
-folly. There was no contending for her with
-a nature like that. That baby could bend
-her to his will even as the father had done.
-He was so little now that she could not strive
-with him to any enduring advantage; and
-when he would be bigger, she felt it already,
-no revolt of hers would be of use. The tyranny
-was handed down from father to son, with
-the sensitiveness and the jealousy. She look<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span>ed
-over at the little, intrepid face sometimes
-with a sort of slave's aversion: every day he
-would be more like that other; he kept him
-disagreeably alive now in her memory with
-the tricks of his face, the difficulties of his
-temper. She only hoped, in an unformed
-way as yet, that before he grew to make
-himself heavily felt something might have
-arisen for her protection.</p>
-
-<p>She made him pretty things with a mother's
-full indulgence, caressed him in due
-measure, and gave dutiful attention to his
-every request; but deep in her heart and in
-her eye was a reservation. And in him,
-though he could hardly frame speech, seemed
-an inherited suspicion of this want of loyalty
-in her, a consciousness of her appeal to something
-outside, against him. In his baby
-rages he seemed aware, by an instinct beyond
-his understanding, that she did not care for
-them, except that they made her uncomfortable,
-and he beat her with all his fierce little
-strength for it. She belonged strictly to him,
-and there was always treachery in the air; so
-he must be foes with all surrounding her, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span>
-most severe with herself, whom he idolatrously
-loved.</p>
-
-<p>Often, if they were alone and she did nothing
-to cross him, but treated respectfully his
-every whim, he rewarded her gravely with
-such tokens of his devotion as he could devise.
-If they were out under the trees, he
-would make a hundred little voyages and
-from each bring back some treasure, flower
-or pebble, that he dropped in her lap, watching
-her face to see if she were appropriately
-pleased. If she were busy with her stitching
-and after a time forgot to acknowledge his
-gift, he would make known his disgust by
-taking everything from her and stamping it
-under foot; but if she wisely kept her whole
-mind on him, and gave him praise and smiles,
-and admired his offerings, he would multiply
-his efforts to please her, get her things the
-most difficult and perilous to obtain, stones
-that were heavy, insects that were frightful,
-parade before her every little accomplishment,
-be débonnaire and royal, and expose
-his true worshipping heart to his servant.</p>
-
-<p>Woe if in such moments of expansion<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span>
-Gregory came out on the lawn and took the
-empty seat on the rustic bench beside Emmie!
-The child would know nothing of a
-divided allegiance, and showed his sense of
-outrage by a prompt attack on both, whom
-he seemed to think equally conspirators
-against his peace. They stood his babbled
-vituperation and baby blows with smiling patience
-for a little, trying to converse coherently
-under them; then, when he burst into
-angry tears, with a sigh the mother bore him
-off to be lectured and calmed, resuming her
-conversation with Gregory at a more opportune
-moment. Before Gregory she never
-spoke of her husband.</p>
-
-<p>With the passing months her cheek got
-back its freshness, her eye its clear brightness.
-Now a haunting fear awoke in her
-breast: Aunt Lucretia was wearying of
-her presence. She had heard all of her injuries
-till the story was stale. She was beginning
-to find fault with her just as of old,
-to set her back in her place now and then
-with the former terrible abruptness, and
-that place a very low one. The poor little<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span>
-woman accepted all abjectly, shuddering at
-the possibility of being again cast on the
-world with her child. She went about with
-reddened eyelids and a look of pathetic nervousness,
-hushing Dorastus whenever he
-lifted his voice, doing her pitiful best that
-neither should give offence. Gregory could
-not look on in patience: he laid the gentle
-afflicted creature's tremors forever by asking
-her to become his wife.</p>
-
-<p>His mother left the house and went to
-abide with her daughters. But in time she
-became reconciled to what was unalterable
-and returned to her ancient seat of government,
-allowing her age to be cheered by
-the sight of her favorite child's happiness.
-Little sons and daughters, his wife gave him
-four, among whom prevailed straw-colored
-hair and eyes of the admired flower tint. The
-old house was gay as at early dawn a tree
-full of gossiping birds.</p>
-
-<p>So to Emmie was raised a mighty salvation;
-against Dorastus arrayed themselves
-innocent yellow heads, like so many insuperable
-golden lances.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>When the children were called into the
-drawing-room to be shown to the company,
-a visitor was sure to ask, "And who is this
-little man?" meaning Dorastus; so unlikely
-did it appear that he could be of his mother's
-kindred. To the golden hen, her golden
-brood. How in seriousness call a chick the
-little black creature with the large beak and
-the piercing eyes?</p>
-
-<p>And as unlike his brothers as he was
-physically, so unlike he remained in disposition.
-By all the children as by Dorastus
-himself the difference in kind was felt. He
-remained solitary among them and at odds
-with all. They set him down a domineering,
-bad-tempered thing, and he summed
-them up scornfully as a pack of pudding-heads.
-It was not plain to any one why
-he thought himself superior: his actual
-accomplishments were somewhat less than
-ordinary. Bullet-headed, downright Hector,
-his brother nearest in age, could beat
-him at any sport, and when their differences
-brought them to blows was rather more than
-half sure of victory over his senior, inferior to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span>
-him in size and art; Martin was cleverer than
-he at his books; the little girls even could
-give him points in conduct&mdash;yet his attitude
-of every minute insisted upon it that he was
-better than any of them, and that his mother
-was more particularly his mother than she
-was theirs. Emmie, it is true, did not reprove
-him quite as she did Hector; he was allowed
-more than the others the full swing of his
-temperament. His step-father punctiliously
-refrained from meddling with him, and if he
-made trouble with his temper and his pride
-Emmie warned her nice-natured children not
-to irritate him, to make allowances for him.
-Insensibly that qualified the relation between
-Dorastus and his mother. That negative
-indulgence he felt, however dimly, did not
-prove him a favorite: it made him a sort of
-alien. He became more reserved in his demands
-upon his mother. There were too
-many yellow heads for one boy to contend
-with successfully by ordinary means. He
-still held to it bravely in his attitude towards
-his brothers and sisters that he was better
-than they, and that his mother belonged ex<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span>clusively
-to him, but herself he troubled less
-and less with his jealousy and his claims. It
-might have seemed at last almost as if she
-were become indifferent to him. Absorbed
-by her domestic cares, she had scarcely perceived
-the change.</p>
-
-<p>The cares were many, but pleasant in their
-nature. Gregory was steadily, lazily kind,
-the children were healthy, she herself was in
-the beautiful full bloom of life&mdash;she found it
-good. She had almost forgotten the bitter
-taste of her beginnings, when one night, startled
-from a deep sleep, she lay in the dark
-awhile and wondered that she should dream
-so clearly of hearing the long, low wail of a
-violin. It had recreated about her in an instant
-the atmosphere of old days. She lay
-as she had lain often enough, with lead upon
-her heart, a dead sense of there being no escape
-in view from this slavery, this poverty,
-this succession of weary travel and third-rate
-inns, this nerve-racking sound of the violin
-penetrating through the brain as a red-hot
-needle&mdash;no release from this unrelenting
-master, this terrible added burden of baby.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span>
-She shook herself free from what she thought
-the remaining effect of a nightmare; she had
-seemed for a moment to smell the very essence
-her first husband used on his hair,
-mixed with the flat odor of the small Dutch
-inn-chamber in which Dorastus was born.
-She turned over on her side to sleep again,
-when she became assured that she heard a
-violin. She listened through her thick heart-beats,
-a thrill of superstitious horror stiffening
-her skin. She knew it unreasonable, but
-could not dispel her fear. She rose sitting
-in bed, becoming at last fully awake. Still
-she heard the violin, sounding faintly, as if
-from some distant part of the house. Then
-she thought. It had been these long years
-in the garret, the treasured Amati he had
-made her swear to keep for his child. The
-child had found it.</p>
-
-<p>She could not fall to sleep again, she must
-satisfy herself.</p>
-
-<p>She slipped her feet into their shoes, got
-her dressing-gown about her, and crept
-through the shadowy corridor, up the stair,
-to where Dorastus slept. Since he would be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span>
-the master, whoever shared his room, which
-was obviously unfair to his room-mate, he
-had been allotted a little chamber by himself
-in a somewhat remote part of the house.</p>
-
-<p>As she approached it, the sound of the
-violin came more and more clear to her.
-She stopped and leaned against the balusters,
-yielding to a soul-sickness that had its
-rise in she scarce knew which, memory or
-foreboding. She listened curiously. It was
-strange playing, though simple, subdued to
-not wound the night silence; unordinary as
-it was, there was nothing tentative about it,
-the hands seemed going to it with a fine
-boldness, a delicate natural skill. The mother
-felt not a moment's joy.</p>
-
-<p>She came to the door, opened it noiselessly,
-and stood in the doorway with her candle
-shining upward in her wide eyes, her solemn
-face.</p>
-
-<p>Dorastus stopped playing, and said, with a
-gleeful, short laugh, "I knew it would make
-you come!"</p>
-
-<p>As Emmie had expected, he held the
-Amati. He had thrown off his jacket and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span>
-tie and stood in his shirt-sleeves, with his
-neck bare. His dark eyes were burning and
-dancing; his black hair was ruffled and
-pushed up on end; his face was hotly
-flushed. His whole attitude had in it something
-new, finely expressive of conscious
-power.</p>
-
-<p>"I knew it would make you come!" he
-said, with a triumphant nod.</p>
-
-<p>She entered and set down her light on the
-little chest of drawers. "You ought not to
-play at night," she said, faintly. "It disturbs
-people's sleep."</p>
-
-<p>"It wouldn't wake <i>them</i>!" he exclaimed,
-scornfully, "and if it did I shouldn't care,
-as long as they didn't come and bother. I
-wanted to call you, to make you come to
-me. I was sure I could. Are you cold,
-little mother dear? Get into my bed."</p>
-
-<p>He laid down his instrument; he came
-where she stood, with her silken hair tumbling
-over her shoulders, and felt her chilled
-hands.</p>
-
-<p>"No, no," she said, irritably, taking them
-from him, "it is unheard of, playing at this<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span>
-hour of the night. I must go." But she
-went mechanically to sit on the edge of his
-bed, that had not been lain in that night,
-and still kept towards him that wondering,
-dismayed face.</p>
-
-<p>"How did it sound?" asked the boy, whose
-excitement seemed to dull his perception, so
-that he remained unchilled by her want of
-warmth. "Did it say plainly, Arise, wrap
-your sky-blue gown about you, never mind
-tying up your gold hair, light your light, and
-come gliding through the shadow of the
-sleeping house, to your dear son, the only
-one who loves you, in his solitary room, far
-from all the others? That is what I meant
-it should say, but towards the end I meant
-it to say something else, towards the end it
-was explaining. Did you understand that
-part?"</p>
-
-<p>"How did you find it?" asked Emmie,
-still in her faint voice. "Why did you take
-it without asking our permission? Who
-taught you to play on it?"</p>
-
-<p>The boy laughed again his gleeful laugh.
-He got on to the bed beside her and sat<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span>
-with his chin in his hand, his glowing face
-full of pride in himself. "Ah, how I found
-it, when it was up in the garret? It was like
-that story of the Greek fellow&mdash;what's his
-name?&mdash;dressed like a girl. When the peddler
-brought shawls and ribbons and things,
-and a sword hidden among them, he took
-the sword, and the peddler knew by that sign
-that he was a man. In the garret there
-were old hoop-skirts, and broken mousetraps,
-and bird-cages, and boxes full of
-religious books and things&mdash;but my hand
-went straight to the violin!"</p>
-
-<p>"Tell me the truth, Dorastus," spoke his
-mother, wearily.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, then, after talking with a certain
-person, I concluded that it must be there.
-I looked for it and found it, months and
-months ago. I took it and learned to play,
-to give you a surprise. Do you think I can
-ever play as my father did?"</p>
-
-<p>"Whom have you heard speak of your
-fathers playing, Dorastus?"</p>
-
-<p>"Aha! There is some one who remembers
-him at this very place&mdash;who heard him<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span>
-just once and never forgot it. I might as
-well tell you: it is the brother of the inn-keeper's
-wife at Colthorpe; he used to be
-the hostler, but is too old now. He plays
-the violin himself, at weddings, sometimes,
-and dances&mdash;but not much, dear. He taught
-me, but I have gone far ahead&mdash;oh, far ahead
-of him now! He knows when it is good,
-however, and you should hear what he says
-of me and my playing. You must see him
-and ask him. He had climbed up from outside
-into the window when once my father
-played at Colthorpe, and he can speak of it
-as if it had happened yesterday. (He says
-that I am very like my father, that any one
-would know me who had seen him. He
-knew, before asking, whose son I was.
-Only, my father wore his hair long; well,
-I will wear my hair long!) He says that,
-as he played, every trouble he had ever
-had came back to him, even the death of a
-dog, and he could not help crying&mdash;but he
-liked it; he enjoyed feeling bad. And he
-says that it made him see plain before him,
-but not very plain either, a lot of things he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span>
-had only heard folks talk about&mdash;the shepherds
-in the East, for instance, with the
-angels singing good-will in a hole in the
-clouds. And he knew for sure, he says,
-how it would have felt if the girl he wanted
-hadn't married some one else and gone to
-live away, but had taken him. I asked him,
-the other day, if I could make him feel those
-things. He said, 'Not yet, not quite yet;'
-but he thought I was beginning. He has a
-number of music sheets; I can read the
-notes much quicker than he already, though
-he taught me. But I don't care for those;
-there must be others much better than those!
-Those are nothing! I like better what I
-make up myself than I do those. Did you
-notice&mdash;but no, you must have been too far&mdash;how
-quickly I can play some passages?
-My left fingers go like a spider, and it is so
-easy for them! Giles says my hand is like
-my father's&mdash;he remembers it&mdash;a true violinist's
-hand. I feel that it can do anything,
-dear&mdash;anything! And I mean that it shall
-do such things! Look at it, mother!" and
-he held up the thin, unboyishly delicate,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span>
-angular hand, stronger in appearance than
-the rest of his body. "Is it like my father's?
-You are the one, of course, that remembers
-best. Is it like my father's?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, yes&mdash;yes!" she almost moaned.</p>
-
-<p>He did not seem to perceive her impatience,
-but contemplated his own hand a
-little while, calmly sure that he must be an
-object of pride to her now. "It is quite
-unlike Hector's, at least. I should like to
-see him try to play with his pink paws!"</p>
-
-<p>"He might not be able to play," said
-Emmie, "but he will, I dare say, do something
-quite as useful."</p>
-
-<p>"There is nothing quite so useful!" cried
-the boy superbly, and laughed again in his
-perverse glee. "It is more useful than anything
-you can invent to say that Hector is
-going to do. Hector! Hector will be a
-rabbit-raiser; he likes rabbits better than
-anything. But I will come with my violin
-and make the rabbits stand up on their hind-legs
-and stare; I will play softly, wheedlingly,
-going slowly backwards towards the woods,
-and they will all come after me, without stop<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span>ping
-for a nibble. I will lead them away,
-away, all the flock of little, round-backed,
-skipping things&mdash;just as I made you get out
-of bed and come up here."</p>
-
-<p>"I came to tell you to stop, foolish boy.
-I didn't want you to wake the others. It
-was very inconsiderate in you&mdash;very inconsiderate.
-And I am not sure that I am
-pleased with you for taking a thing so valuable&mdash;it
-is worth a great deal of money&mdash;unknown
-to me, or for doing things in secret,
-or for having dealings with people I know
-nothing of&mdash;hostlers and inn-keepers' wives.
-You certainly play nicely&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Ah, did you truly think I did, mother?"
-he asked, eagerly. "You ought to know; you
-used to hear himself. Now, tell me, dear&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"But I am not at all sure"&mdash;she interrupted
-him, lamely querulous&mdash;"that the
-violin&mdash;You have been so underhanded,
-and I see now how you waste your time&mdash;it
-explains your being so bad with your lessons.
-I am not at all sure that the violin
-ought not to be taken from you."</p>
-
-<p>"I shall not give it up!" Dorastus said<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span>
-instantly, and it might be perfectly understood
-that he would struggle with his last
-breath to keep it, doing as much damage as
-in him lay to his opposers.</p>
-
-<p>Emmie, quite pale, looked into his face,
-that had fully returned from its mood of
-happy pride, and he looked into hers, as
-they had looked already when he was but a
-baby. Then, seeing what she had always
-seen, she tossed up her hands with a little
-helpless, womanish motion, and complained:
-"Oh, I am so cold, and I feel so ill! It is
-like a horrid dream&mdash;and I am miserable."
-She rose and pulled her things about her
-to go, tears shining on her cheek.</p>
-
-<p>Dorastus, who had leaped up and laid his
-hand resolutely on his violin and bow, if they
-should be in any immediate danger, watched
-her with a strange face. His jaw was iron.
-When, as she reached the door, he unclinched
-his teeth to speak, his face worked in
-spite of him and tears gushed from his eyes.
-"You never understand anything!" he exploded,
-in a harsh, angry voice all his pride
-could not keep from breaking. Then, with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span>
-the indignant scorn of a child for a grown-up
-person who seems to him out of all nature
-dull&mdash;"Go!" he said, beating his arms violently
-about, "Go! Go!"</p>
-
-<p>So Dorastus retained the violin, and defiantly
-played on it, in and out of season. His
-mother's failure to be pleased with his playing
-seemed to have cut her off, in his estimation,
-from all right to an opinion. It is true
-that after the first night she armed herself
-with patience towards a situation she could
-not change. She did not cross the boy more
-than her conscience positively enjoined; he
-might play since he pleased, but must not
-neglect his studies in pursuit of a vain pastime.</p>
-
-<p>In spite of her, his studies suffered. He
-felt no humiliation now that Hector or any
-should be ahead of him with books; he could
-have been far ahead of them if he had chosen,
-but they could under no circumstance
-have done what he did. Of these things he
-was proudly convinced, and he declared them
-without hesitation. His almost untutored
-playing took on a strange audacity, a fantas<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span>tical
-quality that made it pleasing to none in
-the household. That did not disturb him;
-he pursued triumphantly in the direction repugnant
-to them, taking their disapproval to
-naturally point to its excellence. Sometimes,
-half in scorn, he would play for the little
-girls the simple melodies they knew, to show
-them that he could do that, too, if he chose;
-full tenderly could he play them and delight
-their gentle hearts, but he preferred, if he
-could catch an unprejudiced soul for audience,
-a housemaid for instance, to set her opposite
-to him and play to her from his head,
-then question her as to what the music had
-made her think of, helping her to detail her
-impressions, expressing his contempt freely
-if the music had not had on her the desired
-effect, but hugging her if she happened to
-answer as he wanted.</p>
-
-<p>Whenever he had a holiday, or took one,
-he disappeared with his instrument, returning
-with a conqueror's mien, out of place in a
-boy with whom every one is displeased, and
-who has had nothing to eat. It was felt by
-all how he was in these days not friends with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span>
-anybody, nor anybody friends with him. It
-suited his pride to carry off the situation as
-if he had been a king among boors.</p>
-
-<p>Her eldest child's conduct began at last to
-be something of a grievance to Emmie. She
-appealed to no one for help to reduce him to
-obedience. She would not have dared do
-that; an intimate sense forbade it, a scruple
-which would have had no voice, perhaps, had
-she loved him more. She excused and up-held
-him in her little wars with Lucretia, and
-respected Gregory's reluctance to interfere
-with him, founded in justice on the consciousness
-of a deep-seated, invincible dislike; but
-she fretted under his undutifulness and only
-refrained from satisfying the desire to attempt
-asserting her power over him, though it
-should be futile as ever, in the idea that, at
-the worst, he would soon be leaving home,
-with Hector, for school, when the detested
-violin must be given up and stronger hands
-than her own find a way to bend his obstinate
-spirit. At the same time, in a corner of her
-heart, she felt unreasonably, unaccountably
-hurt, as perhaps she would have felt if<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span>
-Dorastus's father had suddenly ceased from
-his persecutions and she had known by that
-sign that, worm as he was, he had ceased to
-care for her.</p>
-
-<p>"This is all very well; but when you get
-to school&mdash;" Phrases begun on that line
-became frequent in Dorastus's ear as the
-time approached. He heard them with a
-singularly bright eye.</p>
-
-<p>The two boys set out for school together,
-under the guardianship of the tutor. Consternation
-fell on the family when it was
-known that Dorastus had been missed on
-the way. The boy was traced to London;
-there he was easily lost among the millions
-of its inhabitants.</p>
-
-<p>While the question was in discussion
-whether it behooved Gregory himself to travel
-to London and institute a search for the
-runaway, came a letter from the boy, making
-it easily decent for his step-father to leave
-the stinging weed to get its growth where it
-might without being a nuisance, and reconciling
-his mother to letting him take his
-chances as he pleased, since he was so sure<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span>
-they were brilliant&mdash;very brilliant, those
-chances.</p>
-
-<p>His certainty of himself, his enthusiasm,
-were such that gradually they communicated
-themselves in a degree to her. Why not?
-After all, his father, they had said, was a
-great man; princes had honored him. An
-involuntary respect crept through her for
-Dorastus's daring. It seemed advisable at
-least to give him the opportunity he wanted;
-the more that the process of finding him,
-bringing him back in what to him would
-seem ignominy, and thereafter keeping watch
-over him, was uncomfortable to think of.</p>
-
-<p>His letter was to his mother, a mixture of
-boyishness and manliness, more frank than
-any speech she had had from him in a long
-time. It vaguely stirred her heart; for it
-seemed to restore to her something that possessing
-she had not prized, but, careful economist,
-did not like to think lost.</p>
-
-<p>"You must promise that I shall not be
-troubled by any attempt to get me back. I
-will do anything terrible if I am trapped.
-Don't you see that I couldn't go to school<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span>
-with Hector, who is younger? We should be
-put in classes together, for a while at least,
-and I couldn't stand it. Besides, I haven't
-the time, I have so much to do! Besides, I
-couldn't go on living with <i>those people</i> forever.
-I don't mean that you shall, either. I
-won't tell you all now, but after a time you
-may know that there is to be a house much
-better than theirs for you to live in, with me.
-You shall have everything much better. But
-I will not tell you more. Only, you can be
-perfectly sure of it. You will not think that
-I came away without caring about leaving
-you. I was afraid you would guess something
-if I hugged you before them as I
-wanted to, but I had been to your room in
-the night, and any of your gowns you put on
-is full of your son's kisses. If I thought you
-would show this letter, I think that I should
-never in my life write you again. If you
-should send me any money, I should return
-it at once or destroy it, so please don't do it,
-it would make me angry. I know that we
-had nothing when we came to their house,
-except the violin. One of the servants told<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span>
-me how we came. What do you suppose
-keeping me all these years has cost? When
-I can, I mean to give them double; you can
-tell him so, if you choose. I can't now, but
-what I can do is to take nothing more from
-them. You need not be anxious about me.
-I am prepared, because I have long known
-what I meant to do, and I can take care of
-myself. I have met several persons already
-who know of my father; it seems to be something
-here to be his son, though not at home,
-except to one man, and he a hostler. Well,
-I will show them&mdash;you, too, dear mother. I
-don't mean to vex or grieve you, mother,
-dear. If I have vexed you, I know I shall
-make you forgive me some day, before long,
-perhaps, when I shall have made you understand.
-You can write me at the Tartar's
-Head, but if you hunted me there, or information
-concerning me, you would never find
-me, I vow."</p>
-
-<p>Other letters came from time to time,
-written in fine spirits always, referring, but
-mysteriously, to fine successes. Emmie felt
-a certain modesty about these letters. She<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span>
-communicated what was in them with reserve,
-and adopted towards inquirers the tone
-of discretion that the letters had with herself.
-But she found herself often brooding
-over the contents. They charmed the imagination;
-they sounded like things one
-read. It was so remarkable, this circumstance
-of a poor boy, a boy of her own, arriving in
-a great city, with little but his violin, and by
-sounds merely forcing the things one values
-to come to him, as he had spoken fancifully
-once, she remembered, of making a flock of
-rabbits follow him into the woods. He wrote
-little very definite, but dropped telling hints
-of how he had played before this great man
-and that man of importance, and this one had
-said&mdash;the other had promised. He had been
-called upon to perform at a certain levee, and
-out of his fee had bought the things he was
-sending; he had money to spare. And there
-came a parcel of presents for Emmie and the
-little girls, by which all were greatly impressed.
-Dorastus's rank in the memory of his
-family rose a degree. Now, on looking back,
-each knew that he had always foreseen how,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span>
-with that powerful will, Dorastus must be
-able to hew his way through difficulties and
-compel circumstances to serve him. He was
-looked on rather as a man than a boy, even
-as he looked on himself. His mother was
-grateful to him for seeming to efface the
-weak foolishness out of her first marriage:
-she was justified in her latter days, and
-proved a virgin full of good sense. She
-wrote Dorastus encouraging letters. Her
-good words got glowing answers: surely it
-would not be long; he was working with all
-his might. But they must be patient, for
-success as a material recompense was slow;
-and he hinted with the effect of a sigh at
-rivalries, at the density of the public mind.
-Yet talent must inevitably triumph in the
-end and manly effort meet its reward.</p>
-
-<p>When Hector came home for his holidays
-he found it just a little stupid to have been
-a good boy. The personage in the general
-mind seemed to be his undisciplined half-brother.
-He contrived, however, in the
-course of weeks, to fix a good deal of attention
-on himself. He restored the balance to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span>
-his mother's mind. Dorastus sank into his
-natural place in relation to her other children.
-She waited in serene patience&mdash;sometimes
-with a passing touch of scepticism, the reflection
-of some outsider's attitude, oftener with
-childish perfection of faith&mdash;for the developments
-he announced in letters somewhat decreasing
-in frequency, but preserving their
-early tone of hopefulness.</p>
-
-<p>So time passed. The unusual became the
-usual and lost consideration, according to its
-habit.</p>
-
-<p>Then the sisters-in-law, those perfect
-daughters, mothers, and wives, came to visit
-the head of the house in the home of their
-girlhood. They brought maids and children
-and chattels manifold.</p>
-
-<p>Now these ladies had been in London, and
-Emmie heard much from them of the glories
-and greatness of that city; she had long opportunity
-to learn respect for their manners
-and gowns, which alike came from there.
-They had not happened upon Dorastus; they
-could not remember hearing of him, and as
-that seemed to make it plain to Emmie they<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span>
-had not been in the most polite places, they
-explained that the city was so large and populous
-you might not come across a person in
-a lifetime.</p>
-
-<p>They left on a rainy autumn morning.
-Emmie, with her forehead against the glass,
-watched their carriages dwindling, dwindling.
-Gone, with all their patterns for gowns, with
-the last sweet thing in worsted-work; gone,
-with their fashionable conversation, the art
-of which she had not had quite time yet to
-master. But even if she had become perfect
-in all, as they, of what use could it have been
-to her here? she asked, turning from the
-dripping window-pane.</p>
-
-<p>She moved with an air of being the moon
-by day. The sickness of the decaying year
-seemed to have got into her blood; she felt
-as if she herself were the perishing summer,
-which had somehow been wasted. She said
-over her children's ages with a sort of terror,
-a sense of time having stolen a march on her;
-she was vaguely panic-stricken to think there
-was so little of the good time of life left before
-her. She sought the mirror to divert<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span>
-her mind with trying on again the bonnet
-the sisters had bestowed on her, pronouncing
-it so becoming. Under the severe gray light
-the face she saw reflected held more than
-ever to her discontented eyes a forecast of
-the cheerless coming days when the rose
-should be withered, the gold gone. The
-deadly quiet of the country, the silence of
-the well-regulated house, suddenly seemed to
-her an outrage, a roof incontrovertible that
-no one cared what happened to her. Gregory
-in particular did not care. Else would
-he not have comprehended that movement
-and novelty and gayety alone could at this
-pass save her from the insidious oncreeping
-evil that encouraged hard lines between
-the pale cheek and the drooping mouth?
-Clearly he did not care. He cared for
-nothing but not to be disturbed after dinner.
-In this connection she thought over
-many a subtle wrong she had been putting
-up with for years. She thought of Dorastus,
-from whom this husband, with his
-royal indifference, allowed her to be so long
-separated; Dorastus, who as she looked to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span>
-him, turning from the lukewarm, apathetic
-tribe surrounding her, seemed an embodiment
-of swiftness and strength, a tempered
-steel blade to rely on, a flame at which to
-warm the numb hands of the heart. Ah,
-well, he was making a home for her with him,
-yonder in the living city. She lost sight of
-the mirror into which she was staring; she
-saw that home. Suddenly it seemed to her
-she could not live longer without seeing her
-boy. She rose with the energy of true inspiration.
-It was such an obviously legitimate
-desire, this desire to behold again her
-own flesh and blood, that she need not be
-at pains to fabricate palliation or excuse for
-it. She sought Gregory directly. She was
-weary and ill, she had dreams at night, he
-did not know how hard her life had become.
-She wanted to see Dorastus.</p>
-
-<p>Gregory yielded.</p>
-
-<p>They came to London. They took rooms
-at a quiet hotel known to him of old.</p>
-
-<p>The novelty of all, the anticipation, made
-Emmie feel young again. Her violet eyes
-were still childishly clear, her hair was pretty<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span>
-still; little was missed of the beauty of her
-youth but its slender lightness.</p>
-
-<p>"No, no; you must leave it all to me,"
-she said, when Gregory would have accompanied
-her in her search for Dorastus. "I
-have a clue which I will not betray. He has
-shown, dear fellow, that he might be trusted
-to take care of himself. I will bring him
-home to dine with us. You may take seats
-for the pantomime."</p>
-
-<p>So the good Gregory put her in the care of
-a trusted driver, and saw her started on her
-adventure.</p>
-
-<p>Now she was driven&mdash;it seemed to her
-they were hours on the way&mdash;to the Tartar's
-Head, a coffee-house of not very imposing
-appearance, in a crowded part.</p>
-
-<p>Before reaching her destination she almost
-wished she had let Gregory come: it was so
-noisy; the air was so dingy it deadened
-one's spirits despite wealth of delightful
-prospects; and she must face various unknown,
-perhaps unfriendly, faces before finding
-his face&mdash;after which all would be well.</p>
-
-<p>She descended from the carriage with a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span>
-little flutter, then with the haste of rout got
-into it again, and requested the driver to
-bring some one to her, as if she had been a
-great person.</p>
-
-<p>A young man came out to take her commands,
-a well-oiled young man in side-whiskers
-and a broad shirt-front.</p>
-
-<p>Had not letters been received there addressed
-to so-and-so?</p>
-
-<p>The young man was more than polite.
-Inquiries were made. Such letters had been
-received. The person to whom they were
-addressed called for them.</p>
-
-<p>"I am his mother," said Emmie, lamely,
-for she had prepared another course than
-this simple one, a course involving strategy.
-"Does he not live here? Where does he
-live?"</p>
-
-<p>The young man continued very obliging.
-He made further inquiries and came back
-looking a little blank. The person came himself
-and left no direction for forwarding his
-letters; a letter had once been waiting several
-weeks.</p>
-
-<p>"Does no one here know him?" asked his<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span>
-mother, nearly in tears. Of a sudden this city
-seemed to her terribly large, and terribly full
-of people who cared nothing for any distress
-of hers. "He plays on the violin&mdash;he plays
-very beautifully on the violin."</p>
-
-<p>A possibility of intelligence dawned in the
-obliging young man's face, and he ran in-doors
-again. He came back with a hopeful
-air. "Yes, your ladyship. There is an old
-man belonging to the place knows him. He
-took him a letter once when he couldn't
-come himself, being laid up. He didn't
-want to tell at first, saying how he'd sworn.
-But I let him know your ladyship was the
-young man's mother, and he told. It's a
-bit far."</p>
-
-<p>The waiter stepped up to the coachman
-and gave him instructions. Emmie rewarded
-his obligingness with bounty in proportion
-to her relief at all proving so easy. Of
-course some one knew him. It was part of
-his boyishness to suppose he could hide,
-after his light had begun shining through
-the bushel, too.</p>
-
-<p>She looked out through the misty pane<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span>
-at the bright passing shop-windows; there
-seemed to her thousands in a row, and hundreds
-of carriages rolling along with her.
-She liked the city again exceedingly, and
-was glad to hope she might be there often
-after a time; it was so various, it put life
-into one. If only the murky cloud would
-lift that rested on the chimney-tops, and the
-rain stop making more the gray slime on the
-flags.</p>
-
-<p>It was a long distance. She looked out
-until she was tired and confused; then leaned
-back and meditated pleasantly for a time,
-then looked out again, with a little shock of
-disappointment at seeing no more bright
-windows.</p>
-
-<p>They were going more slowly; the streets
-here were narrow, the air seemed dingier, the
-houses and people looked miserable.</p>
-
-<p>She watched with a saddened interest
-these that she fixed upon as the poor city-people
-in their poor quarters. She was sorry
-for them, but she would be relieved when
-they were left behind for the gayer thoroughfares,
-or the roomier, more cheerful suburbs.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Now at the entrance of a narrow court the
-carriage stopped. She wondered what could
-be hindering its progress, and fidgeted while
-the coachman left his box and came to the
-door. He opened it with a stolid face and held
-his finger to his hat, waiting for her to alight.</p>
-
-<p>"But&mdash;but"&mdash;she stammered, eying the
-poverty-stricken appearance of the place,
-"this cannot be it!"</p>
-
-<p>"The directions were clear, ma'am; I've
-followed them," said the man, with respectful
-firmness. "This is as near as I can get to the
-house; there's no room to turn around in
-the court."</p>
-
-<p>Emmie leaned back a moment, determined
-not to stir from her cushions&mdash;the mistake
-was on the face of it too stupid.</p>
-
-<p>The coachman stood waiting, a man of
-patience carved in wood. Emmie eyed him
-helplessly; then, seeing that the imposing
-creature would be satisfied with no less from
-her, with the abruptness of impatience she
-alighted, and rustled into the dark court, peering
-upward for the number.</p>
-
-<p>There it was. She knocked, and listened,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span>
-with a heart in which strange things seemed
-to be happening. To the capless woman
-who opened she stammered a name, looking
-for the relief of being told instantly that
-none of that name lived there.</p>
-
-<p>"Three pair back, ma'am," said the woman,
-who appeared like a cook, actual, past, or
-potential. "But he's not in. There's no
-telling how soon he will come. What name
-did you say? Drastus what? Sibbie-mole?
-Oh no, ma'am. Beg pardon. I listened as
-far as Drastus, and answered because it's
-such a curious name. Ours name is Fenton.
-But, let's see. What manner of young man
-might yours be? Like a foreigner, with a
-large nose and black eyes, and plays the
-fiddle, and wears his hair long? Dear me,
-ma'am, the very same! His room's three
-pair back. You wish to wait for him? This
-way, then, ma'am."</p>
-
-<p>Emmie, in whom all processes of thought
-had stopped in amazement, followed the
-landlady as best she could up three flights
-of dark stairs, and entered through the door
-flung open for her.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>They stood in a little room that received
-the day through a sky-light. Emmie dropped,
-sitting on the edge of the narrow bed and
-knotted her little gloved fingers together in
-silence. She was so pale that the landlady
-felt alarmed and asked if she were feeling ill.
-She shook her head, and continued looking
-about fearfully and in wonder.</p>
-
-<p>There was little to see, nothing that might
-not have belonged to any one in the wide
-world as well as to that boy; not one of these
-sordid appurtenances reminded her of him,
-except the music on the table&mdash;but any fiddler
-might have just such music.</p>
-
-<p>She rose to her feet as if jerked by a hidden
-string, and walked stiffly towards the
-door, saying, "It is evidently not the one.
-This one's name is Drastus Fenton, you say.
-The one I seek is Dorastus Sibbemol. Good-morning,
-ma'am."</p>
-
-<p>But near the door she stopped, her eyes
-widening upon an object set upright in the
-corner&mdash;a black wooden box, very old, scarred
-and worm-eaten, mournfully resembling a
-child's coffin.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>She went back to the bed, and limply
-leaned against the wall. She stared over at
-the box, with its peculiar wrought-iron hinges
-and handle.</p>
-
-<p>"Has he been here long?" she asked, faintly,
-at last, of the blowzy woman who was looking
-at her with some concern, and at the same
-time, in view of the lady's respectability, trying
-to smooth down her untidy hair.</p>
-
-<p>She thought a moment and judged he
-might have been there half a year.</p>
-
-<p>Emmie wrung her hands in an aimless way.
-She felt little of pain as yet, or indignation;
-only vague throes and convulsions of change,
-a working of all the atoms in heart and brain
-trying to adjust themselves to something
-new.</p>
-
-<p>"And he is poor!" she murmured.</p>
-
-<p>"Well," said the landlady, exculpatingly,
-"we are all poor folks here, ma'am. He
-mostly pays his rent&mdash;I don't ask much,
-but when he's behind I'm not hard on him.
-He's a good lad," she went on, and as she
-was a sizable woman, after a gesture of deferential
-apology she took a seat, to support her<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span>
-in her view of lingering to angle with information
-until she caught a little enlightenment.
-"A good lad, but that proud! He thinks he'll
-be as rich as a dook some day, with his little
-fiddle!" She shook her head in compassion
-and chuckled fatly over a household joke of
-long standing. "He's all right in his head,
-ma'am, except on that point. A poor lad
-that plays in the streets is none so likely to
-pick up a fortune. And such tunes as he
-plays! I've always been told I'd an uncommon
-ear for a catch, but to catch head or tail
-of them is beyond me!"</p>
-
-<p>"He plays in the streets!"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, poor Dook&mdash;come rain, come shine.
-Sometimes he has a good day, sometimes a
-bad one; but times is hard&mdash;it's not very good
-at best. He's not one of them pretty-impudent
-Italian boys with wheedling brown velvet
-eyes. He looks too scornful, and despises
-folks more than is for his own good. I have
-felt hurt at it myself, ma'am, and I may say
-I'm not touchy. When I've known that he
-was a bit hard up and he looked hollow, and
-I've asked him in neighborly to have a bite<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span>
-with us, he has answered me almost as if he
-hated me for it&mdash;and gone hollow."</p>
-
-<p>His mother drew in her breath sharply.</p>
-
-<p>"Might you be a friend of his?" asked the
-landlady. "Once when he was sick abed,
-and I came up to say a good word, he got
-sociabler than usual, and spoke of a lady,
-a lady of quality, who'd heard him play&mdash;I
-thought likely it was before he came here
-with his coat so seedy&mdash;a lady who thought
-he was very fine. Perhaps I don't understand
-about fiddle-playing, and he is all he says.
-Might you be the lady?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, yes, yes!" said Emmie, scarcely
-knowing what she said.</p>
-
-<p>The landlady looked much interested.
-"Well, now, I thought as much, for I don't
-think he's any one in the world belonging to
-him. He's a good lad, ma'am," she said
-again, with a good-natured impulse to make
-hay for a fellow-creature while this, possibly
-a sun, was shining. "He deserves better
-than he gets, if I do say it. He works at
-them music-books for hours sometimes, at
-night, till the man below is fit to go mad.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span>
-But I tell him I can't put out a lodger that
-pays more frequent than he, and when I
-speak to Drastus he says he'll leave, though
-he should have to sleep on the pavement&mdash;he
-must play when he pleases. He says
-that it's because he can't play as other fiddle-men
-do, from a book and in a particular way,
-that he can't get nothing to do but play in
-the streets. So he must learn, and learn he
-will, and he scrapes away like a meeting of
-cats on the roof. I'm sorry he's out, ma'am.
-What did you want with him, now? Couldn't
-I give your message&mdash;or must you wait yourself?"</p>
-
-<p>"I will wait&mdash;I will wait."</p>
-
-<p>"He may not be home till night. He
-sometimes even&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, leave me, my good woman!" moaned
-Emmie. "What else can I do but wait?"</p>
-
-<p>And the landlady, taking pity on what
-seemed to her an inordinate perturbation of
-spirit, left the visitor to herself, returning
-now and then to listen, and bringing up once
-an inquiry from the coachman.</p>
-
-<p>Emmie remained sitting on the edge of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span>
-the bed. After a time she rose and looked
-with pointless minuteness at everything in
-the room, opening every drawer and reading
-every paper. She found all her letters tied
-in a bundle and wrapped in a silk neckerchief
-of her own, old, and that she had never
-missed. He had few possessions, and they
-made the heart sick to pore over.</p>
-
-<p>The light faded off the dull glass overhead.
-With chilled fingers she felt for the candle
-and lighted it. The landlady, coming up at
-dark, insisted on bringing her a cup of tea.
-The good creature had so disciplined her
-curiosity concerning the history implied in
-this gentlewoman's presence here that her
-delicacy now in endeavoring to discover was
-touching. Yet it went unrewarded. She
-stayed for the satisfaction of seeing the lady,
-who she thought looked fairly ill, refresh herself;
-and when it was delayed, tried by example
-to institute in the atmosphere that
-cheerfulness which is conducive to a better
-appetite&mdash;until asked again, with an imploring
-glance from eyes like a shot dove's, to go,
-for the sake of pity to go.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Emmie now took down the few clothes
-she had seen on the hooks, with a vague idea
-that they required mending. She spread
-them out over her lap one by one, and passed
-her hand mechanically over the threadbare
-places where the black was green, over certain
-fringes about the holes, her heart feeling
-extraordinarily large and empty and silent.
-The rings on her cold hand glittered in the
-stroking movement, four rich rings with
-various stones, Gregory's gifts. Four&mdash;but
-she had five children.</p>
-
-<p>She stretched herself suddenly on the bed
-with her face in the old coat, the chill of the
-room slowly seizing upon her as she lay. She
-prayed in a distant, half-conscious way, without
-the least illusion that such words could
-persuade any one, for God to unmake everything
-that had happened to her, to let her
-have died, and Dorastus too, at his very birth;
-for them to have both been lying in the remote
-Dutch God's-acre these many years.
-For one fleeting moment memory gave back
-to her perfect an impression never before recalled.
-She seemed to have been roused<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span>
-from a stupor deeper than sleep; her eyes
-dwelt without wonder on what she thought
-to be a cathedral, with colored windows ablaze&mdash;it
-dwindled, until it was a mere night-light
-glimmering. Then shadowy people placed a
-little bundle in her arms. She tingled as an
-instrument whose every string is touched, a
-coolness rippled from her head to her feet,
-she knew a state never known before or since,
-a sense of unlimited wealth, a tenderness ineffable,
-a trembling outgoing of all her being
-to this handful of life. She heaved a great,
-faint sigh, and with effort unspeakable bent
-till her lips were pressed as to a warm rose-leaf.
-She sank to sleep, weak unto death,
-but blissfully happy&mdash;waking stronger and
-in a different mood.</p>
-
-<p>She wished she might not have waked, but
-been buried with her poor first baby in her
-arms, having ceased to be in the single moment
-wherein she completely loved it. Nothing
-that had happened to her since then
-seemed to her sweet; all was sicklied through
-by the consciousness of a crime gone before
-and daily confirmed, a woman's most mon<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span>strous,
-miserable crime&mdash;not loving enough.
-Nothing could make her withered, yellowed,
-cheapened life right now&mdash;she should have
-died at that moment. She said this over and
-over again to the powers that hear us, until
-all meaning had faded from it. She started,
-with a sense of something going out&mdash;she
-thought it must be the candle and she should
-be left in the dark. She sat up, frightened
-and freezing.</p>
-
-<p>The candle was burning quietly. Then, as
-she scrutinized the shadows ahead, loath to
-stir, she became aware of her rings having
-grown loose, they were in danger of dropping
-off; of her clothes having grown loose, they
-let the cold in under them; she felt a prickling
-at the temples, as if it were the gray
-creeping through her hair; she felt her features
-becoming pinched and old, beauty dropping
-from them like a husk. She wanted to
-cry then with a childish self-pity, but no tears
-would come; she did not know how to start
-the flood that she longed for to relieve her.
-She felt that she could only have screamed.</p>
-
-<p>She got up to rid herself of this congeal<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span>ment,
-and paced the room from corner to
-corner with sweeping black gown that told
-of the dusty things it had that day brushed.</p>
-
-<p>Company had come to the man below;
-they were making a great deal of very jolly
-noise. The candle guttered drearily; a reek
-of warm cabbage climbed up the stairway to
-her nostrils. She looked up on hearing a
-soft tapping&mdash;the black sky-light was spattered
-with silver tears, like a pall.</p>
-
-<p>She walked up and down, waiting and listening,
-everything taking more and more the
-quality of a dream wherein the most unnatural
-things grow ordinary. She had felt with
-a numbed sort of cowardly loathing that every
-moment brought her nearer to a black
-stream of realizing grief and remorse into
-which willy-nilly she must descend; but now
-it seemed in accordance with every known
-law that she should be here, destined to go
-on walking so forever, never arriving, nor
-anything ever changing. She heard herself
-say aloud in a light, indifferent tone, "He
-will never come. He will never come."</p>
-
-<p>For a moment she remembered Gregory,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span>
-whose image seemed to rise out of the dim
-past: Gregory in the warm light of the hotel
-coffee-room, where dinner was set on a little
-table for three, dinner with wine-glasses of
-two shapes, and fruit and confectionery in
-crystal dishes. The thought worked upon
-her as a sweet smell in sea-sickness. All
-that had to do with Gregory seemed of negative
-importance; let him wait and wonder
-and worry. She felt hard-hearted towards
-him and all prosperous things.</p>
-
-<p>A burst of voices reached her through the
-floor; they were rough and hoarse, their
-mirth had turned to wrangling. It was so
-horribly lonely here! If they were suddenly
-possessed to climb the stairs, to burst in
-upon her! There was a crash of glass&mdash;she
-screamed; then a laugh&mdash;she shuddered&mdash;and
-the noise grew less. She breathed again, but,
-feeling her knees weaken, went back to the bed,
-and sat listening in fascination for the murmuring
-sounds to develop again into a quarrel.</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly, without the warning of gradually
-approaching sounds she had prepared herself
-for, she heard footsteps just outside.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>She knew them. An impulse to flee seized
-her. She looked about for a place to hide
-in, a place to get through, to jump from.
-She could not bear to see him, she felt as a
-murderess whose victim's ghost is upon her.
-His image flashed before her, pinched with
-hunger and cold, worn, embittered with disappointment,
-terrible with its long unrequited
-love turned to hatred&mdash;gray, with glassy eyes.</p>
-
-<p>She looked wildly, but she could not move.
-Besides, it was too late, a hand was on the
-door.</p>
-
-<p>As it opened, a deep stillness fell upon
-her, a suspension of all.</p>
-
-<p>A spell seemed to snap with his coming
-into the range of the candle-light; it was as
-to a child locked all night in a graveyard the
-cock-crow that lays the ghosts and heralds
-the day. She took a feeble breath and her
-heart gave a warm little throb. The very
-face! only, a young man's face rather than a
-boy's, thinner and bolder than ever, but,
-thank Heaven! not pathetic, not heart-breaking&mdash;but
-with red where red should be, with
-living light in the eyes.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>He held his violin; he was meanly clad,
-and his woollen muffler was of a cheap and
-dismal tint no mother would have chosen for
-him.</p>
-
-<p>He looked in surprise at the lighted candle,
-and quickly cast his eyes about, frowning
-to see who had taken this liberty. He
-caught sight of her, blinked and narrowed
-his eyes, to distinguish.</p>
-
-<p>She could not make a sound, or bring a
-vestige of expression to her face, or lift the
-pale little hands from her black lap&mdash;but sat
-transfixed under his questioning stare.</p>
-
-<p>He took a few steps, uttered a jubilant
-shout, and dashed towards her with outstretched
-arms&mdash;But he stopped before
-reaching her. He gave a glance around the
-horrible little room, a glance at her face with
-the eyes full of stern sadness, of reproach for
-the many, many lies he had told her. Abruptly
-he turned his back to her and dropped
-on his knees beside the table, saying furiously
-in disjointed syllables as he pressed his
-working face against his arms. "You won't
-understand! You never understand any<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span>thing!
-I think sometimes that you are a
-fool!"</p>
-
-<p>But he felt her soft icy hands tremble
-about his head, he felt her fluttering breath
-in his neck. She was kneeling beside him,
-saying in choked whispers in the intervals of
-lifting her poor lips from his wet face, "Don't
-speak!&mdash;Don't speak!"</p>
-
-<p>She was straining him to her with a passionate
-tenderness never shown another being,
-raining on him the sweetest kisses.</p>
-
-<p>Both fell to crying as if their hearts would
-break.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="p6"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-
-<h2 id="CHLOE_CHLORIS_AND_CYTHEREA">CHLOE, CHLORIS, AND CYTHEREA</h2></div>
-
-
-<p>To make you acquainted by sight with
-young Chloris: she was a tall girl, a trifle
-meagre in outline, but not disagreeably so;
-she had light reddish-brown hair, and a
-sprinkling of freckles on a peachy skin, and
-those eyes with dead-leaf spots in them; altogether
-an air of openness and intelligent
-goodness that had quickly thrown the newly
-introduced off the question&mdash;was she pretty?
-But she was pretty, too, at her hours.</p>
-
-<p>On this day she had shut out the sun by
-means of the green Venetian blinds, and her
-room, like a submerged crystal chamber, was
-full of a watery light; she herself, white
-clothed, made a fair green-shadowy nymph
-in the dim green atmosphere.</p>
-
-<p>This was her first hour of complete con<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[205]</a></span>scious
-content. So rich was she in content
-that she had set herself to perusing a volume
-of the driest essays, a present for a diligent
-girl graduate.</p>
-
-<p>This sense of life unfolding like a normal
-flower and becoming the perfection of a rose
-was too much for the grateful heart to contemplate
-at its ease; some great demonstration
-towards God must follow on such contemplation.
-And Chloris in her security
-putting it off until bedtime, sat reading about
-the discipline of the will, the happy blood
-all the while keeping up in her veins a pleasant
-undercurrent babbling of other matters.
-Two hours more and the summer sun would
-be reaching its glorious haven, the cool flow
-in with the darkness, and time take up
-again that sweet scanning of the lines of her
-idyl....</p>
-
-<p>After reading the same passage some
-seven times, Chloris let her book lie a moment
-in her lap. How marvellous, how
-simple, how natural, how exquisite! Truly
-like the coming up of a flower. First, they
-were children together, fair-dealing, un<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[206]</a></span>quarrelsome
-playmates; then, schoolboy
-and schoolgirl, always good unsentimental
-friends; and finally, time, passing over them,
-slowly turned them to lovers; for this, no
-question, was whither they were tending:
-quiet, undemonstrative, unjealous, faithful,
-devoted lovers, presently married people,
-and by and by, God pleasing, tenants of one
-same grave. And this sweetness in the
-heart, this best of all earthly goods, God
-granted it to the humblest of his creatures!
-Why, then, were so many dissatisfied with
-this dear earth? Why were some on it interested
-in the discipline of the will? Ah,
-this summer, so endearingly begun, to be
-ended so&mdash;and Chloris, in a confusion of
-bliss, almost as if to give herself a countenance
-towards herself, took up her book
-again, finding moonlight and wild azaleas
-and whippoorwills between the lines, a
-dappled, singing shingle, a golden beach,
-velvet winds from over sea.</p>
-
-<p>The sunshine crept off the window-square;
-a sadness instantly invaded the room; Chloris
-jumped up to open the blinds. Time to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[207]</a></span>
-dress! Then she did her hair as painstakingly
-as ably, put on a just-ironed white
-gown with a violet figure, and stood at the
-glass weighing the question of a velvet band
-around the neck. A fateful sound already
-was dawning on the distance outside, but
-she did not as yet hear it. Too hot! She
-tossed the velvet ribbon in the top bureau-drawer
-so unconcernedly as if not, at that
-moment, the Parcć had been tangling the
-skein of her life, and wondered idly if any
-one describing her would call her pretty.
-She thought, in conscience, not; but of a
-charming appearance, she hoped any one
-would.</p>
-
-<p>At this point penetrated to her brain a
-sound of voices out on the road beyond the
-lawn and the hedge. She looked between
-the curtains.</p>
-
-<p>Two ladies, unknown to her, were slowly
-sauntering past in the direction of the beach;
-one, near middle age, in a darkish gown; the
-other, young, in light colors of a distinctly
-fashionable tone; this latter carried over her
-shoulder a very large, fluffy, and, as it showed<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[208]</a></span>
-even at this distance, inexpressibly costly
-parasol. She turned her face a moment
-on the ancient vine-overclambered country-house,
-from one window of which peeped
-Chloris, looked it up and down and across,
-and turned away, making, Chloris supposed,
-some comment upon it to her companion.</p>
-
-<p>When they had disappeared from sight,
-Chloris, still at the window, musing on that
-face seen a moment, heard a leisurely jingling,
-and saw pass at a walking pace an
-empty shining carriage, drawn by two superb
-bays, driven by a man in livery.</p>
-
-<p>"It must be their turn-out," she concluded
-her wondering. "Who can they be but the
-people that were to move into the Beauregard
-cottage?"</p>
-
-<p>Then, as there was time to spare before
-tea, she sat down in the window. Shortly,
-was a lively jingling, a trampling, and the
-shining carriage bowled swiftly by on its way
-back from the beach; on its cushions, two
-ladies under a broad lacy parasol; a mighty
-cloud of dust running after it, never to over-take.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[209]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Almost at the same moment Chloris saw
-Him, half the subject of her idyl, coming
-across the lawn.</p>
-
-<p>She went to meet him.</p>
-
-<p>"Who are the arrivals?" she asked at once.</p>
-
-<p>And here was pronounced, for the first time
-before Chloris, the name of Cytherea.</p>
-
-<p>"Cytherea, Damon? Who is Cytherea?
-Where does she come from? Do you know
-her?"</p>
-
-<p>"Very slightly," answered the young man;
-"I have met her in town. She had told me
-she thought of coming here for the summer,
-but I supposed it was conversation. I had
-completely forgotten, until I saw her this
-afternoon. She is entranced with everything!
-You can never see our poky little
-old place in its true light: you must get a
-description of it from her, Chloris. She will
-find it deadly dull before the end of a week;
-but for the moment she imagines quiet to be
-all she wants. She has been working like a
-slave at doing the proper thing in town."</p>
-
-<p>"She has brought her style with her, I
-see."</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[210]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"They are inseparable. She arrived yesterday
-on the late train, and you should see
-the change already in the Beauregard."</p>
-
-<p>"You have been there, then?"</p>
-
-<p>"Just a moment. They called to me from
-the veranda. They were having tea. Fancy
-their bringing down a grand-piano!"</p>
-
-<p>"Does she play much?"</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know. Very probably. She
-looks as if she might."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, no, Damon! There you mistake.
-She looks as if she mightn't. She is very
-pretty, but I will vouch for it she can't
-play&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Perhaps the cousin is the pianist. We
-shall see. I said you would call on them
-this evening."</p>
-
-<p>"I, Damon? The instant they arrive?
-Why did you say that? Why should I call
-before they have had time to breathe?"</p>
-
-<p>"Do you mind? I am so sorry. They
-asked me to come, and I half promised. It
-is likely to be somewhat slow for them here
-if we stand on ceremony. You will like them,
-I am sure."</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[211]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"You are sure? No doubt I shall. But
-to-night seems rather&mdash;instantaneous, if you
-don't mind. You will excuse me to them,
-and I will wait till they get a little more
-settled."</p>
-
-<p>"Settled! They have brought down an
-army of servants. The house looks as if
-they had lived in it for a month."</p>
-
-<p>"Make what excuse for me you please,
-then."</p>
-
-<p>"You won't come, Chloris?"</p>
-
-<p>"I think not. Not this evening. Go by
-yourself, and tell me all the great changes
-to-morrow. She will be much better pleased
-to see you than me, anyway."</p>
-
-<p>"Why do you say that?"</p>
-
-<p>"Her face, my dear boy! She can't play
-the piano, to speak of, and she greatly prefers
-men to women."</p>
-
-<p>"Perhaps you do her an injustice&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Have I said anything disparaging? I
-signalled two virtues, I think. You don't
-really mind my not going, Damon? I had
-intended to write letters this evening, and
-mend table-cloths and read to father."</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[212]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>When, shortly after tea, Damon had gone,
-Chloris tried to return herself into a truthful
-person by reading an hour to her father, and
-adding a dozen stitches to a delicate darn,
-and writing a note, which, when finished, she
-tore up. In order, as far as possible, with
-her conscience, she seated herself at the
-piano, a poor, tin-voiced instrument, tired of
-the sea-air. No one so well as Chloris,
-accustomed to its senile vagaries, could
-make the worn thing discourse music;
-her greatest successes on it were old-time
-compositions written in the day of spinet
-and harpsichord, minuets with a sprinkling
-of grace-notes, things not sonorous or profound.
-To-night, playing for no one's praise,
-she plunged haphazard into the melodies
-most sympathetic at the moment, stormy
-and subtle, melancholy and intricate and
-modern. It was Chloris's one proud gift,
-this effectiveness at the piano.</p>
-
-<p>Her father and his elderly sisters took
-themselves off to bed on the stroke of ten.
-Chloris remained on the adjustable stool,
-relieved at their going. She took up her<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[213]</a></span>
-playing again, without trying now to keep
-her eyes dry.</p>
-
-<p>The sweet, hot air of the day, cooling, was
-turned to dew outside; something of the
-same kind seemed taking place within herself&mdash;and
-the dew was tears. Why had she
-been so curiously uplifted that day, so at rest
-concerning every point in life, so sure of one
-thing at least? Nothing was changed, yet
-she saw no reason now for blessing this summer,
-golden hour for hour, and looking to it
-for the greatest, serenest happiness. Damon?
-What was Damon to her, or she to Damon?
-He had never in so many words made love
-to her, and she had never felt the first pang
-of wonder or disappointment at this. They
-had walked, rowed, ridden together. What
-of it? They should do these things again a
-hundred times, probably. What of that?
-What had she been dreaming, erewhile?
-Or was this the dream, this bad one? Something
-splendid and shining and purple had
-gone gray.</p>
-
-<p>While continuing mechanically to play,
-she looked through the open window into<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[214]</a></span>
-the summer night. It was rightfully her
-moon, that honeyed bright moon outside;
-her balm-breathing night; it was her silver
-sea yonder out of sight; they were her
-odorous pine-needle paths in the sighing
-grove&mdash;and she was robbed of them. And
-the sense of it gave her a seething in the
-heart, the like of which sensation she had
-never dreamed existed: as if a painful separation
-of all the atoms in it one from the
-other, as well as the stern conviction of being&mdash;oh,
-the novel idea!&mdash;a fool.</p>
-
-<p>"I won't have it!" she muttered, emphatically,
-without knowing definitely what she
-meant, and struck an angry discord.</p>
-
-<p>Through her playing reached her suddenly
-that merry harness-jingle of the afternoon,
-approaching, passing, fading away.</p>
-
-<p>"There they go&mdash;to the beach for the
-second time to-day&mdash;to look at the ocean
-by light of the moon."</p>
-
-<p>When in little less than an hour she heard
-the breaking again, on the quiet air, of the
-fatuous silvery jingle, she let her playing
-fall to a mere musical murmur, and lis<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[215]</a></span>tened,
-acutely, burning all the while with
-shame.</p>
-
-<p>"Go slowly, Humphrey," she caught, in a
-rich, sweet voice; "I want to listen to the
-music."</p>
-
-<p>"She plays really wonderfully. I have
-never heard playing I preferred to hers,"
-came in a well-known deeper voice, at
-which Chloris's cheeks waxed hotter still.
-She pressed her foot on the pedal and shut
-herself within a wall of dinning, buzzing
-sound.</p>
-
-<p>When she had lifted it, and risen, the road
-was empty, the night silent, but for the crickets
-and the distant surf, as the grave.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Several days passed, each bringing Chloris
-its very natural request from Damon that
-she would go with him to pay her respects
-to the new neighbors; but with a perversity
-that surprised herself more livelily than him,
-she daily found a bad reason for putting off
-the duty. This hindered the progress of the
-idyl; for Damon had a delicate conscience
-where these strangers were concerned; he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[216]</a></span>
-would not see them bored in a latitude whose
-honor, as an earlier inhabitant, he appeared
-to have at heart.</p>
-
-<p>And presently the atmosphere of the whole
-country-side seemed qualified by the presence
-of this Cytherea. It seemed to Chloris one
-could not escape the effect of her, without
-taking to the deepest of the woods. She
-was like an unstopped jar of some powerful
-essence; the little country world was redolent
-of her.</p>
-
-<p>Before the time Chloris had at last rigidly
-fixed for a formal visit came a message from
-Cytherea inviting her. Hard as she sought
-to discover a reason for misliking the dainty
-note, she could find none; it was irreproachable,
-and Chloris dressed herself for the occasion
-with a divided mind, the preponderant
-part of which was finally comfort: she
-should at least grapple now with a reality.</p>
-
-<p>She came to Cytherea's house at evening
-under Damon's escort. As one approached
-it among the trees it looked rather more like
-one's idea of an Eastern temple than a sea-coast
-cottage. The veranda was behung<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[217]</a></span>
-with colored paper moons, glowing subduedly
-among the vines; soft light streamed
-through lace from the changed interior.</p>
-
-<p>Excitement took Chloris from herself.
-Now the great adversary was welcoming
-her; and Chloris, at the touch of a warm,
-soft hand, said to herself, "What bugbear
-have I been frightening myself with?" and
-found ease and ability to converse, and
-release from that sense of disadvantage that
-had ridden her helpless heart like a nightmare.</p>
-
-<p>This atmosphere of the great world that
-went with Cytherea, how awakening, how
-satisfying after all, to the mind! Not the
-smallness of envy, thought Chloris, should
-keep her from giving it its due, or getting
-her benefit from it. In the distance and
-abstract she had hated it; but entered into,
-seen close, how unconscious, how inoffensive,
-nay, genial, it proved! What a great good,
-too, this wealth that permitted such distinction
-in luxury! Country girl as she was, it
-seemed to Chloris she was breathing her
-native air.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[218]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>At Cytherea's prayer she sat down at the
-piano, and to her own surprise played better
-than usual. When she had done, she begged
-the hostess to play. She forgot how she
-had declared that Cytherea's face showed no
-soul for music.</p>
-
-<p>She was surprised to hear the lady say,
-"I play hardly at all." She sincerely now
-could not believe it.</p>
-
-<p>"Ah, well!" laughed Cytherea; and good-naturedly
-she pushed a chair to the piano,
-and appeared preparing to begin.</p>
-
-<p>Chloris looked on in some wonder. Cytherea
-seated herself half away from the keyboard,
-one nonchalant arm over the back of
-her chair, her curly forehead on her hand;
-and, the first to smile at her own affectation,
-played an elaborate waltz, very languidly,
-with her left hand.</p>
-
-<p>Impossible for the eyes to leave her a
-moment while she performed her pretty
-trick; and ably enough she performed it,
-with an adorable cream-white hand.</p>
-
-<p>Chloris seemed to be slowly returning to
-consciousness. What perfection was here!<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[219]</a></span>
-Nature had given this creature everything.
-Criticism of her could only pass current under
-the stamp of envy. That gracious dark
-beauty, that warm radiance! And sparkle,
-and charm&mdash;with winningness, dignity, rarity,
-variousness!</p>
-
-<p>Chloris looked over at Damon; and the
-image of his fascinated face, as, a fond forgotten
-smile on his lips, he followed with his
-dark dog-eyes each movement of Cytherea's,
-affected her as a drop of poison let into her
-blood. She seemed to herself growing aged
-and haggard, even as she sat there, the dancing
-measure beating on her ear. Her hands
-lay cold in the lap of her best gown&mdash;modest
-made-over gown of pale purplish silk that
-she wore with a lace bertha of past fashion,
-once her poor mother's. "What is the use
-of trying to contend with a thing like that?"
-her heart asked, dully.</p>
-
-<p>An acuter pain pierced it when, the waltz
-played out, the laugh following it laughed
-out, and conversation resumed, she realized
-the faintest possible shade of disregard in
-Cytherea for the observations made by<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[220]</a></span>
-Damon. Cytherea prized her, Chloris's,
-utterances distinctly more; her, she seemed,
-from all her manner, to be honoring; him,
-for some reason, she held a trifle cheap.
-This seemed to Chloris just a little more
-unendurable than all the rest. And the
-dear boy, who, totally ignorant of the effect
-he produced, was in such high spirits, was
-so anxious to please, so cheerfully making a
-mantle in the mud of himself for the beauty
-to tread upon.</p>
-
-<p>At last it was over; Chloris lay in her own
-bed in the pale summer darkness, and felt
-she was the heart of the created world, and
-this pain man's old inheritance; it seemed
-the very essence of her being which was distilled
-slowly from her eyes.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>On the day following, Chloris punctually
-sought Cytherea, for appreciation must be
-shown the cordiality of the beauty. That
-was a question apart from others: one is
-just and polite before anything else. A
-person overhearing the chatting and laughing
-of that afternoon in Cytherea's room<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[221]</a></span>
-would have thought certainly he listened to
-a pair of heart friends. The greater expense
-of admiration between the two women
-seemed of a truth to be borne by Cytherea.
-Chloris must look herself mentally over in
-astonishment at this value set on her by so
-great a judge. After the examination she
-felt foolish and humble. She felt profoundly
-how, all being different, she too could have
-worshipped Cytherea.</p>
-
-<p>And now she must be concerned in every
-sort of rural festivity organized by Damon
-for Cytherea's amusement; she must see
-the rival's first effect of being mildly bored
-by Damon's whole-souled dedication turn
-into an effect of indulgence, daily tinged
-with increased liking; for who in nature could
-fail to do final justice to one so simple, so sincere
-as Damon&mdash;Damon, with his dear, clear,
-curiously gentle Roman face and curly hair?</p>
-
-<p>"The heat does not seem to agree with
-you this summer, child," one of the aunts
-concluded her kindly meant scrutiny of
-Chloris's face; and the girl's heart tightened
-with affright.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[222]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>She stood that day before the glass, and,
-leaning her elbows on the bureau, seriously
-examined the tinted shadow. "All is of
-no use," she said. "The more I care, the
-more I must look like that. Does it not
-seem a little strange that the more one loves
-the less lovely one should become? And a
-little hard, too, perhaps, oh, you, my God,
-with all respect, who have arranged these
-little matters?" And tired, discouraged
-Chloris began weakly to laugh aloud, though
-she was alone; and watched the grimacing
-of her own reflection with a sort of brutal
-contemptuousness. "Oh, you sickening
-object!" she exclaimed, and hid the delicate,
-nervous, tell-tale face in her hands. "This
-cannot go on!" she raved. "Human flesh
-cannot endure it&mdash;and I cannot alter it.
-All must soon see how it is with me. I can
-barely keep a hold on my temper now. I
-must get away. Damon shall court her;
-she shall bloom and smile at her ease for
-him. Welcome to each other&mdash;both! I
-shall be where I cannot see it. I refused to
-visit Fidele in her mountain home. I had a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[223]</a></span>
-use already&mdash;God help me!&mdash;for every hour
-of the summer. I will write to say I repent.
-Then Damon, Cytherea, sing duets out in
-the canoe by moonlight; find clover-leaves
-for each other. I shall be scouring the
-mountain in search of healing herbs, and I
-do not doubt but, God helping, I shall find
-them. It is not in nature that a torture like
-this should last!"</p>
-
-<p>And Chloris, when next she appeared before
-the public eye, looked almost triumphant.
-And when her leave had been taken
-of all, and the swift air of change was blowing
-against her brow, her heart felt so strangely
-sound and quiet that she almost laughed,
-asking herself, "Why am I going away? I
-am recovered merely at the notion of it.
-Had I but known, I could have remained
-like a little heroine, and stood it out."</p>
-
-<p>But the hours passing broke down and
-carried off more and more all the gallant
-props of pride and resolution, and at last
-Chloris sat in the galloping car, a drooping
-runaway, who looked steadily out of the window,
-and saw the flying scene through tears.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[224]</a></span>
-Contemptible, countrified Chloris, with her
-freckles and inferior clothes, and so ordinary
-notions of conduct and taste, running away
-from comparison with the peerless Cytherea;
-taking her envy and weakness out
-of sight till she got strength to disguise
-them.</p>
-
-<p>Now the scenery, which she had not been
-seeing, became more lonely and wild; the
-first low hills, heavy and slow in the general
-nimbleness of things, shifted themselves with
-an amiable clumsiness till they had closed in
-Chloris with her train; waking her suddenly,
-with a faintly happy sense of diversion
-from immediate suffering, to the feeling of
-being a child again visiting strange countries.
-Then wheeled and tumbled themselves
-about and came to meet her the little hills'
-big brothers, the mountains, with velvety
-sides, and rocky, rosy summits. A weight
-for no reason seemed to melt away from
-Chloris's chest as she looked up at them,
-and thought of living among them now for
-many a day&mdash;the distinguished, sage, cool,
-sturdily benevolent ones, so high above, so<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[225]</a></span>
-far from, the world she knew, down on the
-hot-colored, populous plain.</p>
-
-<p>Here she was at last, where she must
-alight; in a high, pure, crystal-clear atmosphere,
-at a little lost place, wildly green to
-eyes used to the sun-burned shore, forgotten
-of all the world but this train that remembered
-it for a second twice a day.</p>
-
-<p>And here was Fidele! It seemed to
-Chloris she had not half known, until this
-moment, how fond she was of Fidele. Tears
-sprang to her eyes on meeting the familiar
-eyes, and she embraced her old school friend
-with an impulse of overflowing gratitude.
-She felt like a storm-beaten lamb come to
-some sort of shelter at last.</p>
-
-<p>After the first moment's frantic clutch
-the two friends stood apart, holding hands,
-and looking each other fondly and frankly
-over, with wide, moved smiles. Fidele, seeing
-Chloris's eyes, wondered why tears had
-not come to her, too; and compared her
-own nature unfavorably with her friend's
-rich nature; and at this thought of her
-friend's deep, sweet nature, behold! tears<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[226]</a></span>
-were come in her affectionate eyes, too.
-Then both girls fell to giggling like schoolgirls,
-from mere association of this meeting
-with other meetings; and in a moment were
-talking lightly and inconsecutively, in an
-involuntary imitation of old days; and
-Fidele had taken her friend's arm tightly
-under her own, intertwined their fingers, and
-was dragging her along at a hop-and-skip
-pace.</p>
-
-<p>"What a godsend you are to me!" she
-exclaimed, rapturously. "There is not a
-soul in this forsaken place to whom one can
-talk like a Christian. Oh, but we are slow!
-Oh, but we are primitive! Oh, but we are
-simple!&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"What air it is!" Chloris breathed, profoundly.
-"How sweet! I never dreamed
-such green!&mdash;My dear, this is Paradise!"</p>
-
-<p>"The air is good enough. The grass is
-certainly green. But oh, the people are
-green too! But now you are here, we will
-change all this, dear. What a holiday!
-You will inspire us. We will rise up, and
-look into our closets, and fetch out where<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[227]</a></span>with
-to make a good impression on the
-stranger. You bring the very air of civilization
-with you in your clothes and hair.
-Where did you get it, Chlo&mdash;the general
-air, you know? How ravishingly you do
-your hair! And that little hat! Now,
-who in the world but you would have a
-hat like that? Oh, you rare darling! Do
-you know you are greatly improved? You
-are thinner, but it suits you. You always
-were a beauty, you know. Yes, you were!
-But you have acquired so much besides&mdash;such
-an interesting air&mdash;yes, you have!&mdash;so
-much expression. No one could see you
-without&mdash;gospel truth, Chlo! But, yes&mdash;I
-will&mdash;I will hold my tongue. Did you bring
-your music at least, for there is a piano, such
-as it is. Thank Heaven! You shall make
-their capture with song. They shall grovel.
-You know, dear, I am not really so silly as I
-seem; your arriving has turned my head.
-I always did adore you, but it is even better
-than I remembered."</p>
-
-<p>Chloris that night, alone at last, tried
-to readjust herself, to get back through this<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[228]</a></span>
-new experience her self of yesterday. The
-morning of her starting from home, but sixteen
-hours removed, seemed withdrawn into
-a much remoter past; a screen of glittering,
-crumbling, changing color was arisen between
-herself and it. She interrogated her breast
-curiously for that pain lately grown so familiar,
-forgotten for the first time only in these
-last hours; her breast did not answer by at
-once producing it. She goaded it tentatively
-with a sharp memory or two; it responded
-sluggishly&mdash;a divinely restful torpor was
-possessing it. She knelt by the window,
-and looked out at the still, strong, black
-mountains; instinctively she wafted profound
-thanks to their rude majesties. Far,
-far away in her dream at this moment, in
-an infinitely small, sun-warmed, murmuring
-plain, moved two tiny figures: the great
-Damon, who erewhile filled the entire horizon
-of her life, and the great Cytherea, who
-interposed her fair shape between her and
-the sun, shutting off the light of life&mdash;two
-tiny black figures, in a far-off, sunshiny place
-it fatigued her to think of. Only the moun<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[229]</a></span>tains
-were big and important; and this cool,
-rough bedchamber was fifteen by twelve;
-only Fidele and herself and the people
-seen for the first time this evening were
-life-size and real.</p>
-
-<p>Stretching her tired limbs in the bed, that
-had nothing to-night in common with the
-rack, feeling natural sleep creep over her as
-it had long not done, she remembered with
-a vague joy that she was young; she divined
-a time ahead&mdash;perhaps not so far ahead
-either&mdash;when life would become possible
-again.</p>
-
-<p>She felt as if cosily tucked in and kept
-warm by the sense of Fidele's affectionate
-appreciation, and the evident admiration of
-her friends, called in even on this first evening
-to greet her. It was good. It restored
-one's lost self-confidence.</p>
-
-<p>The last thought Chloris was conscious of
-was not for Damon this once, but Demetrius.
-(Demetrius, I said. The reader here revolts.
-Chloris, Cytherea, a Chloe apparently still to
-come, and Fidele, Damon, Demetrius! Are
-these names to pass off on the discriminating<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[230]</a></span>
-reader in a tale that has nothing to do with
-the times of Theocritus or Addison? I confess
-it, I would have deceived. The persons
-in this story knew themselves by none of the
-names I have set down. They had been
-given at the font, and had by chance and inheritance
-come into, names that represented
-them far less well. Who can assume to fitly
-name a babe in arms? With a pure purpose
-I rechristened them. If you could know
-what, for instance, was the real name of Cytherea&mdash;But
-enough.)</p>
-
-<p>On the next morning arises Chloris, constating
-with thankfulness that no more than
-the night before is her heart bleeding at
-every pore. Filled with a venerable feminine
-desire to still increase the favorable impression
-she is sure she has made on the inhabitants
-of this high hamlet, she does her hair
-more than ever engagingly, puts on her
-crispest white gown with the lavender ribbons,
-and her broad straw hat with roses&mdash;the
-hat Damon had praised in the early part
-of the season. Something stirs in her sleeping
-bosom at the remembrance; she pauses<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[231]</a></span>
-in her task of pinning it on; the green-gray
-eyes with the brown spots grow fixed upon
-a vision, small as if seen through the wrong
-end of the opera-glass: On a shining shore,
-two little figures setting out in a sail-boat&mdash;only
-two, for the cousin has pleaded the disagreeable
-effect on her of the motion of the
-sea. Chloris sits down discouraged, feeling
-the blood drop from her face, and her heart
-present her with as finished a pain as ever.
-"It really matters so very little," she murmurs,
-firmly restraining from wringing her
-hands; "I only&mdash;only should like to know
-how long this kind of thing may be supposed
-to last!"</p>
-
-<p>Chloris and Fidele loiter about the garden
-full of morning sunshine, snipping off wet
-sweet-peas and roses, and reminding each
-other of things. Then, to please Chloris,
-they go for a stroll. Chloris is eager for a
-little climb. Heated and pleasantly tired,
-they come to the top of an eminence and
-sit down under the only clump of trees, in
-company of the unbudging horned cows,
-who know their claim is good, for they<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[232]</a></span>
-got there first. Fidele, leaning against a
-tree-trunk, fans herself more and more fitfully
-with her hat, and presently slumbers.
-Chloris, with her head in Fidele's lap, can
-never weary of looking off over the faint-hued
-valley which the shadows of clouds softly
-overstray. In this delicious bodily relaxation
-after hill-climbing in the sun, strange
-peace inundates her soul, and she entertains
-a superstition that it is flowing out to her
-from the mountains, and lies luxuriously,
-letting herself be done good to. "They
-know the secret of peace," she muses in her
-manner of a girl. "They cannot speak, but
-the effect of their knowledge radiates from
-them, and reaches us. The end of all&mdash;of
-all is peace. All works towards it incessantly,
-as one sees nature do towards harmony.
-Through these battles, to peace.
-Why can one not remember it down on the
-plain?" Now a cloud obscures the sun that
-gropes through it with long golden fingers;
-Chloris, dreaming, ponders half wistfully
-what it would be to remain here always,
-begin life anew, never return where one<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[233]</a></span>
-had suffered so much, and was surely so little
-missed!</p>
-
-<p>On their way home the girls meet Demetrius
-in his chaise, on his rounds. He reins
-in, and leans out of the leathern hood; with
-arms alink the girls stand in the white road
-below, in a great bath of light. They converse
-a moment; Chloris's lifted face, with
-the stamp on it still of her high thinking on
-the hill-top, is like a flushed pearl under her
-rose-laden hat.</p>
-
-<p>"You must let me show you the country,"
-says Demetrius, before driving on.</p>
-
-<p>When he is gone, Chloris and Fidele naturally
-fall to talking of him.</p>
-
-<p>"How is it," says Chloris, "that a man so
-superior has attained his age and is merely
-a doctor in a place like this?"</p>
-
-<p>"My dear, we have our ailments like the
-rest. You don't grudge us a good doctor?
-He was born here, and after a good number
-of years down in the haunts of men came
-back in a natural sort of way. His father
-left him property up here. He is not ambitious;
-he has an abundance of money. He<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[234]</a></span>
-practises more or less for the love of it, and
-something to do. He is our most presentable
-man, and I want you to appreciate our
-good points in him. He adores music; the
-piano I spoke of is his. He has invited us up
-there; as soon as you feel inclined we will go."</p>
-
-<p>When, in a few days, Chloris consented to
-go, one-half the curious population went with
-her, to hear her play.</p>
-
-<p>The stiff farm-house parlor, closed nine-tenths
-of the year, had been made to breathe
-out its musty ice-house atmosphere; lighted
-and garnished and filled with guests, it
-scarcely recognized itself.</p>
-
-<p>Demetrius leaned on the instrument while
-Chloris played, his untrimmed head dreamily
-drooping, his eyes half closed, like a lazy
-cat's in the sunshine, when a hand is stroking
-it the right way. When she had finished,
-and all lifted their hands and praised and
-questioned her, he turned away with a sigh,
-saying nothing; and yet both knew that the
-truest music-lover of all was he; and when
-she played again it was chiefly with the
-thought of him as an audience.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[235]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"What an air of intelligence your hands
-have when you play," he said, later. "But
-it is the same when you are crocheting, or
-just drumming on the chair-arm. They look
-as if they could talk, and utter such wise and
-witty things."</p>
-
-<p>A very friendly understanding was almost
-at once established between them; after
-which, he being such a sensible, direct, humorous
-man, well on towards middle age,
-and Fidele urging it, it seemed but proper
-to accept the offered seat in his chaise and
-see the country to the best advantage.</p>
-
-<p>They travelled many leagues behind his
-mare; they reached many points of vantage
-from which to look off at the view. Their
-conversation was half laughter; yet Chloris
-felt a serene security in the awe she knew
-she inspired.</p>
-
-<p>In the country doctor's company, such was
-his effect on her and hers on him, Chloris
-felt always sweetly young, and unusually
-well-dressed, unusually beautiful and brilliant&mdash;as
-well as experienced in the ways of the
-world, and possessed of a strong and compli<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[236]</a></span>cated
-character. With all this, something of
-an impostor.</p>
-
-<p>After many rides, many conversations,
-the light about Demetrius was insensibly
-changed, and offered him under a different
-aspect. What genuine kindliness in his
-rather heavy yet well-featured face! what a
-good, sane, comprehensive intelligence under
-his shaggy hair! and under his country-made
-waistcoat a heart suspected to be tender and
-faithful! If he had done little, risen little,
-circumstances were more to blame than will;
-and it pierced through his mockery of himself
-sometimes that he was not all satisfied
-now with his condition; ambition that had
-slumbered gave signs of waking. And he
-was still young enough to mould his fate to
-a different shape.</p>
-
-<p>Chloris, regarding him, as she told herself,
-merely in the light of a specimen in which
-to study human nature, concluded that the
-woman who intrusted her happiness to Demetrius,
-at least in the event of her being a
-superior creature, would be in the main a
-very fortunate one. Nothing to fear in this<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[237]</a></span>
-man from inconstancy; no account to make
-with the inflammable imagination of youth;
-the gracious, condescending woman would get
-unbounded gratitude from his humility for
-every little favor shown. Her life would be
-so peaceful, so guarded from all trouble that
-care can keep at bay, so surrounded with
-delicate consideration.</p>
-
-<p>So the herds-grass purpled and was mown;
-the mustard yellowed, and its yellow vanished;
-and the apple began to redden.
-Then Demetrius, with a little help from
-everybody, gave a party&mdash;a party the like
-of which had not been given in the sleepy
-place since his sister's marriage a dozen years
-before; but this Chloris from afar, as Fidele
-had foretold, was inspiring the natives.</p>
-
-<p>And undoubtedly she was the queen of
-the party. To see her was to know as much.
-She wore a grand gown of pale purplish silk,
-with a real lace bertha (the talk of the place
-for nine days after), and white flowers pricked
-into the shiny structure of her hair.</p>
-
-<p>There was hired music, and dancing on
-the waxed kitchen-floor, and an opportunity<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[238]</a></span>
-never surpassed in the annals of the neighborhood
-to get enough of good things to eat.</p>
-
-<p>Towards the end, when one-half the simple
-revellers were gone, and the musicians were
-silenced with feeding, and the night air
-breathed in at the open windows with a feel
-of great lateness in it, came a petition to
-Chloris to play a piece on the piano.</p>
-
-<p>After various laughing negatives, yielding,
-Chloris, whose eyes were lightsome and
-dancing to-night, pushed away the stool,
-and, substituting for it a chair, sat a little
-sideways in this, with one arm over the
-back; and, a curious little smile playing on
-her lips, propped her ruffled head with its
-wilted flowers on her right hand; and, while
-the country innocents exchanged wondering
-glances, with her nimble left hand, amply
-sufficient to the task alone, began playing a
-waltz&mdash;a sweet, dreamy waltz.</p>
-
-<p>When they were at last home, and Fidele,
-half undressed, had come in to chat a moment
-with her friend, she asked, "Did you
-enjoy yourself, dearie?"</p>
-
-<p>"Immensely!" said Chloris. "How nice<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[239]</a></span>
-they all are to me! What dear, kind things
-they are! By the way, though, there was
-something I wanted to ask. Who is that
-dark-haired, plump young woman, with black
-bugle eyes, and a skin like red-and-white
-paper&mdash;quite passable-looking, if she did not
-look so sulky?"</p>
-
-<p>"What did she wear?"</p>
-
-<p>"Something pretentious but unbecoming.
-It had a lot of bead-trimming. Now, speaking
-of how nice every one and everything
-was, I except that girl's manner. <i>She</i> was
-positively rude. I did not know how to
-take it. I have met her before, with all the
-others, and passed her on the road, bowing
-my best; but we have never more than exchanged
-a word or two, so I can have done
-nothing to offend her."</p>
-
-<p>Fidele was laughing.</p>
-
-<p>"Who is she?" asked Chloris.</p>
-
-<p>"That is Chloe," replied Fidele.</p>
-
-<p>"Chloe?"</p>
-
-<p>"You mustn't mind her rudeness, dearie.
-She is really a good sort of creature. But
-she is no doubt sorely tried."</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[240]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"What tries her? Why do you laugh?"</p>
-
-<p>"Demetrius! He was a shade partial to
-her before you came&mdash;not enough to cause
-comment in any place but this. And, even
-here, not enough to lay himself open to
-blame. It is a pity, though, that she can't
-keep her feelings hidden, and must vent
-her spite on you. Silly thing! I have no
-patience with that kind of girl."</p>
-
-<p>Chloris's fingers became absent among the
-hair they were braiding. She looked into the
-lamp-flame with a vacant expression.</p>
-
-<p>Fidele plied the brush in her tangled locks,
-and went on chatting.</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly Chloris, who for some time had
-not spoken, laughed.</p>
-
-<p>"What is it, dear?" asked Fidele, looking
-up at her friend, where she stood still staring
-in the lamp-flame. "Have I said anything
-funny?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, it was nothing you said. I was
-thinking&mdash;my mind travelled from one thing
-to another&mdash;you know how it jumps about&mdash;and
-I had to laugh, before I knew, at a stupid
-old circumstance&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[241]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>"What circumstance?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, nothing, dear&mdash;a thing we learned in
-school, in French, a fable&mdash;never mind!"</p>
-
-<p>"A fable! My dear Chloris, how interesting!
-What fable?"</p>
-
-<p>"I can't quote it. I have forgotten my
-French. It was about a hare&mdash;a hare who
-ran away in terror of a bull, and in his flight
-came to a swamp where the frogs were just
-as much afraid of him. Wouldn't it be
-interesting to know the rest? What the
-hare did, whether he put on his fiercest outside,
-and tried to make the frogs quake in
-their little wet boots?"</p>
-
-<p>"What nonsense, you dear idiot! Ask
-Demetrius! He will give his best consideration
-to the frog question, and be impressed
-with its profoundness, while Chloe wears
-bead trimming and grows sage-color. Good-night,
-dear. I am dreadfully sleepy."</p>
-
-<p>"I mean you shall take me to call on
-Chloe some day soon. Now that I see her
-face with a different idea of her, it is a nice
-face! Poor child! I could never settle down
-contentedly under the notion that some one<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[242]</a></span>
-disliked me; could you? Even a dog! I
-have had such a happy, peaceful time here,
-in this dear little place, I want every one to
-feel kindly towards me when I leave."</p>
-
-<p>"You speak as if I were going to let you
-go, Chloris."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, my dearest, I don't want to talk of it.
-I have put off talking of it, day after day,
-yet you must know that I can only stay a
-very little longer. Think of it! I came for
-a month, and I have stayed&mdash;how long is it?
-And father must be getting lonesome; and
-he so seldom writes, and then tells me little
-or nothing. And everything must be needing
-me&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"You extraordinary girl!" exclaimed Fidele,
-now very wide awake; "I swear I absolutely
-do not understand you! What do you
-mean? First you seem&mdash;you seem&mdash;and
-then&mdash;and then suddenly&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Fidele could not get out her words, for
-Chloris's hand was across her lips.</p>
-
-<p>"Hush!" she pleaded, quite earnestly.
-"Say nothing about it! When a thing has
-been spoken it seems to exist! You don't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[243]</a></span>
-understand&mdash;I don't understand either.
-Who is consistent? Who knows what he
-wants? Who knows ever what he is doing?
-How many creatures we crush just walking
-across the grass! A path opens ahead, we
-take it blindly, not knowing whither it leads.
-With good reason we say we grope in the
-dark. Let us have the grace, then, when a
-moment's illumination is granted us, to go
-by its light. You don't know what I mean;
-I scarcely know myself. But don't try to
-keep me, dear! Remain at my side every
-minute that is left of my stay here; see me
-to the train without the shadow of an adventure&mdash;and
-I will love you all my life!"</p>
-
-<p>And a few days later the train that had
-brought Chloris picked her up again, all
-flushed with Fidele's last kisses, and flew
-with her homeward.</p>
-
-<p>She looked out of the window with other
-eyes than those she had first turned upon
-the mountains. Yet tears were in them, too,
-as she said, "Good-bye, dears! Your little
-sister leaves you, made quite well again.
-But never will she cease to love you. You<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[244]</a></span>
-shall be always in her dreams. And she
-will come back one day. When God sends
-her sorrows she will take refuge again with
-you."</p>
-
-<p>All through the first hours of being rushed
-along across the brilliant fading land, that
-she looked at, scarcely seeing, she retained a
-sense of exaltation. She seemed to herself
-as a sword after the proofs of furnace and
-ice-brook. She could have laughed to think
-of the philosopher that was going home in
-place of the pallid victim of an almost pathological
-sensibility.</p>
-
-<p>The mountains were dwindling to little
-hills; the latter-year sun was too barely
-bright: a crude earth-color and a sombre
-green took place of the angelic vague green
-and blue and pink of the dewier, earlier
-period. The plain was opening with its more
-trivial detail. Chloris's mind descended to
-its level, and projected itself with a limited
-emotion into the circumstances of the approaching
-home-coming. She felt prepared
-to endure whatever awaited her with grace
-and dignity; she felt sure, indeed, that she<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[245]</a></span>
-should feel very little. "I have learned the
-secret of life," she said to herself; "I have
-weighed and measured everything."</p>
-
-<p>At this same moment an elderly gentleman
-who had a daughter was thinking how
-touchingly young and inexperienced his
-fellow-traveller looked; in his old heart he
-felt sorry for her, somehow, for being so
-young.</p>
-
-<p>"I have weighed and measured everything,"
-she said. "God is real, God lasts,
-and the love of Him. Human passion
-passes away. One might almost say that it
-does not exist. It is like a physical pain:
-it tortures, you try to locate it, you fix your
-mind upon the presumed seat of it&mdash;it is not
-there, there is no pain; and presently, when
-you are well, you cannot call up a remembrance
-of the sensation. I feel fitted to
-write a book on this subject. I thought I
-could never endure my life without Damon&mdash;dear,
-dear Damon! Yet I live and am
-improved in health. And, blinded by I shall
-never be able to explain what mist, I was
-beginning to adapt my mind to the thought<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[246]</a></span>
-of life with Demetrius, whom I pictured out
-of all proportion happy and grateful to me.
-Why more grateful than another? Thank
-God I was delivered from committing such
-a blunder! Ah, if I could teach Chloe all
-that I have learned! But she does not need
-it; she gets what she wants, for beyond a
-doubt Demetrius in time goes back to her.
-I&mdash;I am armed now at every point. I have
-a defence against every circumstance. The
-secret is: Nothing matters, but God above.
-And, knowing this, I mean to be very sweet
-to all at home, more thoughtful of every one,
-more generous of all myself&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>She was running between familiar orchards
-and fields; the image of reaching home became
-very present, and a sweetness pervaded
-her rising excitement at the thought of touching
-so soon the home-hands. The mountains
-were thrown back to the horizon of her mind.
-Between the sandy hummocks, beyond the
-level salt meadows which she had left green
-and found russet, she caught glimpses of a
-great sapphire line. She began looking
-eagerly for the farm-house that meant she<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[247]</a></span>
-was within a minute of her journey's end.
-It flashed past. She gathered up her things;
-she came out on the platform, and with a
-joyous heart looked for her father's gray face
-and his hand extended to help her down.</p>
-
-<p>He was not there, and she got off the train
-alone, half-conscious of a dog-cart not far,
-with a horse behaving as a horse should not
-at the locomotive. The superbly indifferent
-iron monster puffed off, dragging after it its
-train; the indignant horse quieted down.
-She heard her name called; the voice was
-the man's in the dog-cart, it was Damon's.
-The philosopher hurried towards him with
-an insanely beating heart, an uplifted, greeting,
-beaming face.</p>
-
-<p>He helped her in, and his trickle of answers
-met her stream of questions, and her stream
-of answers his trickle of questions, as they
-jogged, tilting along between the dusty roadsides.
-The warm flood of her home-coming
-sensations subsided a little, and she turned
-to look at him, to take a fond inventory of
-his face&mdash;dear old faithful friend, so kind to
-fetch her himself! Her heart tightened.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[248]</a></span>
-What was gone wrong with Damon?&mdash;Damon,
-whom she had been picturing so
-happy, and was just rousing her spirit to
-question casually concerning Cytherea.
-Even at that moment they were approaching
-her dwelling, when the question, if she
-could make her voice right, not too indifferent,
-nor yet too interested, would seem so in
-place.</p>
-
-<p>The grass on the lawn was long and uneven,
-constellated with twinkling autumn
-dandelions; the windows were shuttered, the
-veranda was empty, the chimney smokeless;
-a forgotten hammock rope, blackened and
-twisted by the rain, swung from a branch in
-front of the deserted house, thumping faintly
-against the tree-trunk. Chloris turned
-her lengthened face towards Damon; he
-lifted to hers a pair of very miserable eyes,
-and said, in an unresonant voice, "You
-should have got back in time for the cattle-fair.
-It was better than usual this year.
-Cookson's little mare took a prize."</p>
-
-<p>"You don't mean it!" faltered Chloris,
-and looking straight ahead set her lips hard,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[249]</a></span>
-to keep down an impetuous flood of hatred
-for Cytherea.</p>
-
-<p>She saw the propriety of continuing to
-talk; but she could not keep her mind on it.
-Damon's powers of conversation, too, had
-failed him. He kept a stolid face to the
-horse's head; and they drove in silence to
-her door, where, alighting, she was swallowed
-in a sea of affectionate fatherly and auntly
-embraces.</p>
-
-<p>"I may stay to tea, mayn't I?" asked
-Damon, dully, from his corner, where he
-seemed sitting in the cold.</p>
-
-<p>Chloris gave him a place beside herself,
-and treated him like a sick, beloved child;
-but so tactfully, he could know only that it
-soothed.</p>
-
-<p>She let him lie on the sofa, afterwards,
-while she played, and the others slept in the
-upper chambers.</p>
-
-<p>She played with upturned face, pale and
-gentle and full of understanding; her eyebrows
-lifted, her eyes very large and kind.
-She would have thought that Damon slept,
-but that now and again he sighed.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[250]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>When at last she stopped to look for something
-among her music, to go on with, he got
-up and came to the piano-side. "I am so
-glad you have got back," he said, from all his
-heart; "you are such a brick. Good Lord,
-how I have missed you&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He turned away and went aimlessly to the
-window, and stood looking out. "I suppose
-it is time I went," he said. "But I hate to
-go home! I don't know what is come to me,
-I can't sleep these nights."</p>
-
-<p>Chloris had gone to the window, too, and
-stood beside him, her indulgent young face,
-that wore a world-old expression, turned on
-the dimly glimmering white petunia-beds
-outside.</p>
-
-<p>"Would you&mdash;won't you come out for a
-little stroll, Chloris? Run for your shawl,
-there is a dear girl, and let us go over to the
-beach. It isn't really late, and I am so restless,
-and I don't want to go alone, and it is
-so stuffy in my room at home."</p>
-
-<p>Chloris, without a word of demur, took
-her wrap and followed him. They walked
-side by side in silence; the sense they must<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[251]</a></span>
-have in common of the beauty of the night
-might at first take lieu of conversation;
-when that sense must be outworn, they still
-thought their thoughts in silence. Chloris
-knew the relief it is not to pretend; Damon
-thought only of himself in this hour.</p>
-
-<p>It was she, after a while, that led&mdash;tall,
-slender figure a step ahead of him, walking
-swiftly, with a sort of intrepidity. With his
-head a little bowed, his hands behind him,
-he followed.</p>
-
-<p>She led him to the beach, and without
-regard for time or fitness of things, farther
-and farther along the smooth sands, away
-from home; then, by a long loop, back to
-the homeward road, as if with the determination
-to tire him out. She herself was conscious
-of no fatigue. She felt like a spirit;
-her uplifted eyes seemed so expanded that
-they could take in all the radiant firmament.</p>
-
-<p>At last, as if awaking, he stopped and
-vaguely looked about, saying, "I am ready
-to drop! Good Lord, how far have you
-been taking me? Let us sit down a moment
-and rest."</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[252]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>They were not far from home, on the edge
-of a familiar pine-grove that ran down to the
-lapping inland sea. She sank on the dry
-pine-needles; he dropped beside her, and,
-tearing off his cap, unquestioningly laid his
-head in her lap.</p>
-
-<p>"Does it ache?" she asked, softly.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes," he murmured. "Rub it."</p>
-
-<p>She passed her hand with a measured
-motion across his forehead, pushing up the
-heavy hair. She felt his face for an instant
-press closer to her knees; volumes of gratitude
-seemed expressed in the impulsive
-movement. She continued her stroking
-with a quiet, sisterly hand, her swelling heart
-suddenly choking her. She had him back,
-that she knew beyond a doubt. Broken,
-disillusioned, his heart seared by the image
-of another, he was hers, as he lay there
-thinking of that other. Hers to help, to
-heal, to make love her as much as she loved
-him. And a flood of human passion, the
-sensation she had decided&mdash;God forgive her!&mdash;disposed
-of forever, surged in her. Her
-eyes brimmed over with happy tears. Why<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[253]</a></span>
-should there be any feeling of bitterness
-mixed in a feeling so sweet? Why should
-the hurt to one's vanity be remembered in
-such a situation? Why not be finally glad
-to give more than one received, offer something
-whole for something broken, bless
-beyond all desert? No&mdash;no&mdash;that other
-could never have loved him so! Fate had
-meant well by him in putting her out of
-reach; this sorrow of his should pass away
-and be as if it had never been. Chloris felt
-in herself such inexhaustible wells of tenderness
-and patience, she knew hers was the
-good title; she knew she could be sufficient&mdash;make
-Damon forget. Her heart sang a
-song of praise and victory, while her hand
-smoothed his forehead with the fancy that
-it brushed away the image of Cytherea, fatal
-line by line.</p>
-
-<p>Ineffable fatigue drew her down from high
-serene thoughts to thoughts nearer earth.
-She ached; waves of unnatural sensation
-swept through her, but she would not move.
-The weight of his dear head was better than
-ease.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[254]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>While she took patience till he should be
-ready to rise and go sensibly home to bed, a
-whimsical image formed in her brain: Herself,
-and to one side of her, a little higher,
-Cytherea, and to the other, a little lower,
-Chloe&mdash;and beyond Chloe, in the descending
-line, some poor woman, not pretty or winning
-at all, to whom Chloe must appear a half-divinity;
-and above Cytherea, in the ascending
-line, another fairer than she, for, when all
-was said, there must be in this world women
-even fairer than the great Cytherea, of whom
-she, perchance, lying awake in her queenly
-bed, would think with anguish, confessing
-herself helpless to struggle. Poor Cytherea,
-then, in her turn! Chloris framed a sincere
-wish for her continued happiness, and that
-in the event of despised love God should
-grant her to become a philosopher. And
-her imagination went on feebly, whimsically,
-weaving. Still another fairer still creature
-above Cytherea's victress&mdash;still another at
-the other end, to whom the envier of Chloe
-should be an object of envy&mdash;and so on, till
-the chain seemed to extend from the seraphs<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[255]</a></span>
-down to the last of the most degraded race,
-and take a slightly humorous aspect. "It
-pleases the powers to be merry," thought
-Chloris, and was conscious of no irreverence
-in the conceit.</p>
-
-<p>"Wake up, Chloris!" came Damon's voice,
-sounding more as it had used to sound, before
-he was so grown-up, and had untoward
-things happen to him in his sentiments.</p>
-
-<p>"I have not been asleep!" she said, sheepishly,
-"except below my knees."</p>
-
-<p>"I won't contradict you, but when I struck
-a light you were nodding and smiling away
-to yourself like a little China mandarin.
-Have you any idea of the time it is? Well,
-I won't enlighten you. What a crazy
-thing we have been doing! Come, dear,
-let me help you up. I hope to Heaven you
-haven't taken cold. Hello, can't you walk
-straight? What a brute I am! Take my
-arm&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>And laughing weakly and wearily, they set
-out staggering across the dim stubble-field
-that separated them from home.</p>
-
-<p>"Dear old Chloris!" Damon murmured,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[256]</a></span>
-pressing her arm to his side. "Best girl in
-the universe! You can never think what a
-comfort it is to have you home again. I feel
-more like myself. I think that to-night I
-shall sleep."</p>
-
-
-<p class="p4 center">THE END</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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