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+The Project Gutenberg eBook of Stories by English Authors: Ireland,
+by George H. Jessop
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
+most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
+whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
+of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
+www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
+will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
+using this eBook.
+
+Title: Stories by English Authors: Ireland
+
+Authors: George H. Jessop
+ Jane Barlow
+ John Banim
+ Anonymous
+
+Release Date: July, 2004 [EBook #6040]
+[Last updated: April 19, 2022]
+
+Language: English
+
+Produced by: Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks, Nicole
+Apostola and The Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STORIES BY ENGLISH AUTHORS:
+IRELAND ***
+
+
+
+
+
+ STORIES BY ENGLISH AUTHORS
+
+ IRELAND
+
+
+ THE GRIDIRON BY SAMUEL LOVER
+ THE EMERGENCY MEN BY GEORGE H. JESSOP
+ A LOST RECRUIT BY JANE BARLOW
+ THE RIVAL DREAMERS BY JOHN BANIM
+ NEAL MALONE BY WILLIAM CARLETON
+ THE BANSHEE ANONYMOUS
+
+
+
+
+THE GRIDIRON
+
+BY SAMUEL LOVER
+
+
+A certain old gentleman in the west of Ireland, whose love of the
+ridiculous quite equalled his taste for claret and fox-hunting, was
+wont, upon festive occasions, when opportunity offered, to amuse his
+friends by _drawing out_ one of his servants, exceedingly fond of what
+he termed, his “thravels,” and in whom a good deal of whim, some queer
+stories, and, perhaps more than all, long and faithful services had
+established a right of loquacity. He was one of those few trusty and
+privileged domestics who, if his master unheedingly uttered a rash thing
+in a fit of passion, would venture to set him right. If the squire said,
+“I’ll turn that rascal off,” my friend Pat would say, “Throth you won’t,
+sir;” and Pat was always right, for if any altercation arose upon the
+“subject-matter in hand,” he was sure to throw in some good reason,
+either from former services--general good conduct--or the delinquent’s
+“wife and children,” that always turned the scale.
+
+But I am digressing. On such merry meetings as I have alluded to, the
+master, after making certain “approaches,” as a military man would say,
+as the preparatory steps in laying siege to some extravaganza of his
+servant, might, perchance, assail Pat thus: “By the by, Sir John”
+(addressing a distinguished guest), “Pat has a very curious story, which
+something you told me to-day reminds me of. You remember, Pat” (turning
+to the man, evidently pleased at the notice thus paid to himself)--“you
+remember that queer adventure you had in France?”
+
+“Throth I do, sir,” grins forth Pat.
+
+“What!” exclaims Sir John, in feigned surprise, “was Pat ever in
+France?”
+
+“Indeed he was,” cries mine host; and Pat adds, “Ay, and farther, plase
+your honour.”
+
+“I assure you, Sir John,” continues mine host, “Pat told me a story once
+that surprised me very much, respecting the ignorance of the French.”
+
+“Indeed!” rejoined the baronet; “really, I always supposed the French to
+be a most accomplished people.”
+
+“Throth, then, they’re not, sir,” interrupts Pat.
+
+“Oh, by no means,” adds mine host, shaking his head emphatically.
+
+“I believe, Pat, ’twas when you were crossing the Atlantic?” says the
+master, turning to Pat with a seductive air, and leading into the “full
+and true account” (for Pat had thought fit to visit North Amerikay, for
+“a raison he had,” in the autumn of the year ninety-eight).
+
+“Yes, sir,” says Pat, “the broad Atlantic”--a favourite phrase of his,
+which he gave with a brogue as broad, almost, as the Atlantic itself.
+
+“It was the time I was lost in crassin’ the broad Atlantic, a-comin’
+home,” began Pat, decoyed into the recital; “whin the winds began to
+blow, and the saw to rowl, that you’d think the Colleen Dhas (that was
+her name) would not have a mast left but what would rowl out of her.
+
+“Well, sure enough, the masts went by the hoard, at last, and the pumps
+were choked (divil choke them for that same), and av coorse the wather
+gained an us; and, throth, to be filled with wather is neither good for
+man or baste; and she was sinkin’ fast, settlin’ down, as the sailors
+call it; and, faith, I never was good at settlin’ down in my life, and I
+liked it then less nor ever. Accordingly we prepared for the worst, and
+put out the boot, and got a sack o’ bishkits and a cask o’ pork and a
+kag o’ wather and a thrifle o’ rum aboord, and any other little matthers
+we could think iv in the mortial hurry we wor in--and, faith, there was
+no time to be lost, for, my darlint, the Colleen Dhas went down like a
+lump o’ lead afore we wor many sthrokes o’ the oar away from her.
+
+“Well, we dhrifted away all that night, and next mornin’ we put up a
+blanket an the end av a pole as well as we could, and then we sailed
+illegant; for we darn’t show a stitch o’ canvas the night before, bekase
+it was blowin’ like bloody murther, savin’ your presence, and sure it’s
+the wondher of the worid we worn’t swally’d alive by the ragin’ sae.
+
+“Well, away we wint, for more nor a week, and nothin’ before our two
+good-lookin’ eyes but the canophy iv heaven and the wide ocean--the
+broad Atlantic; not a thing was to be seen but the sae and the sky; and
+though the sae and the sky is mighty purty things in themselves, throth,
+they’re no great things when you’ve nothin’ else to look at for a week
+together; and the barest rock in the world, so it was land, would be
+more welkim. And then, soon enough, throth, our provisions began to run
+low, the bishkits and the wather and the rum--throth, _that_ was gone
+first of all--God help uz!--and oh! it was thin that starvation began to
+stare us in the face. ‘O murther, murther, Captain darlint,’ says I, ‘I
+wish we could land anywhere,’ says I.
+
+“‘More power to your elbow, Paddy, my boy,’ says he, ‘for sitch a good
+wish, and, throth, it’s myself wishes the same.’
+
+“‘Och,’ says I, ‘that it may plase you, sweet queen iv heaven, supposing
+it was only a _dissolute_ island,’ says I, ‘inhabited wid Turks, sure
+they wouldn’t be such bad Chrishthans as to refuse us a bit and a sup.’
+
+“‘Whisht, whisht, Paddy,’ says the captain, ‘don’t be talking bad of any
+one,’ says he; ‘you don’t know how soon you may want a good word put in
+for yourself, if you should be called to quarthers in th’ other world
+all of a suddint,” says he.
+
+“‘Thrue for you, Captain darlint,’ says I--I called him darlint, and
+made free with him, you see, bekase disthress makes us all equal--’thrue
+for you, Captain jewel--God betune uz and harm, I own no man any
+spite’--and, throth, that was only thruth. Well, the last bishkit was
+sarved out, and, by gor, the _wather itself_ was all gone at last, and
+we passed the night mighty cowld. Well, at the brake o’ day the sun riz
+most beautifully out o’ the waves, that was as bright as silver and as
+clear as chrystal. But it was only the more cruel upon us, for we wor
+beginnin’ to feel _terrible_ hungry; when all at wanst I thought I spied
+the land. By gor, I thought I felt my heart up in my throat in a minit,
+and ‘Thunder an’ turf, Captain,’ says I, ‘look to leeward,’ says I.
+
+“‘What for?’ says he.
+
+“‘I think I see the land,’ says I.
+
+“So hes ups with his bring-’em-near (that’s what the sailors call a
+spy-glass, sir), and looks out, and, sure enough, it was.
+
+“‘Hurrah!’ says he, ‘we’re all right now; pull away, my boys,’ says he.
+
+“‘Take care you’re not mistaken,’ says I; ‘maybe it’s only a fog-bank,
+Captain darlint,’ says I.
+
+“‘Oh no,’ says he; ‘it’s the land in airnest.’
+
+“‘Oh, then, whereaboats in the wide world are we, Captain?’ says I;
+‘maybe it id be in _Roosia_, or _Proosia_, the Garmant Oceant,’ says I.
+
+“‘Tut, you fool,’ says he, for he had that consaited way wid him,
+thinkin’ himself cleverer nor any one else--‘tut, you fool,’ says he,
+‘that’s _France_,’ says he.
+
+“‘Tare an ouns,’ says I, ‘do you tell me so? and how do you know it’s
+France it is, Captain dear?’ says I.
+
+“‘Bekase this is the Bay o’ Bishky we’re in now,’ says he.
+
+“‘Throth, I was thinkin’ so myself,’ says I, ‘by the rowl it has; for I
+often heerd av it in regard of that same; and, throth, the likes av it I
+never seen before nor since, and, with the help of God, never will.’
+
+“Well, with that, my heart began to grow light; and when I seen my life
+was safe, I began to grow twice hungrier nor ever; so says I, ‘Captain
+jewel, I wish we had a gridiron.’
+
+“‘Why, then,’ says he, ‘thunder an’ turf,’ says he, ‘what puts a
+gridiron into your head?’
+
+“‘Bekase I’m starvin’ with the hunger,’ says I.
+
+“‘And, sure, bad luck to you,’ says he, ‘you couldn’t eat a gridiron,’
+says he, ‘barrin’ you were a _pelican_ O’ _the wildherness_,’ says he.
+
+“‘Ate a gridiron!’ says I. ‘Och, in throth, I’m not such a gommoch all
+out as that, anyhow. But, sure, if we had a gridiron we could dress a
+beefstake,’ says I.
+
+“‘Arrah! but where’s the beefstake?’ says he.
+
+“‘Sure, couldn’t we cut a slice aff the pork?’ says I.
+
+“‘By gor, I never thought o’ that,’ says the captain. ‘You’re a clever
+fellow, Paddy,’ says he, laughin’.
+
+“‘Oh, there’s many a true word said in joke,’ says I.
+
+“‘Thrue for you, Paddy,’ says he.
+
+“‘Well, then,’ says I, ‘if you put me ashore there beyant (for we were
+nearin’ the land all the time), ‘and, sure, I can ax them for to lind me
+the loan of a gridiron,’ says I.
+
+“‘Oh, by gor, the butther’s comin’ out o’ the stirabout in airnest now,’
+says he; ‘you gommoch,’ says he, ‘sure I told you before that’s
+France--and, sure, they’re all furriners there,’ says the captain.
+
+“‘Well, says I, ‘and how do you know but I’m as good a furriner myself
+as any o’ thim?’
+
+“‘What do you mane?’ says he.
+
+“‘I mane,’ says I, ‘what I towld you, that I’m as good a furriner myself
+as any o thim.’
+
+“‘Make me sinsible,’ says he.
+
+“‘By dad, maybe that’s more nor me, or greater nor me, could do,’ says
+I; and we all began to laugh at him, for I thought I would pay him off
+for his bit o’ consait about the Garmant Oceant.
+
+“‘Lave off your humbuggin’,’ says he, ‘I bid you, and tell me what it is
+you mane at all at all.’
+
+“‘Parly voo frongsay?’ says I.
+
+“‘Oh, your humble sarvant,’ says he; ‘why, by gor, you’re a scholar,
+Paddy.’
+
+“‘Thruth, you may say that,’ says I.
+
+“‘Why, you’re a clever fellow, Paddy,’ says the captain, jeerin’ like.
+
+“‘You’re not the first that said that,’ says I, ‘whether you joke or
+no.’
+
+“‘Oh, but I’m in airnest,’ says the captain; ‘and do you tell me,
+Paddy,’ says he, ‘that you spake Frinch?’
+
+“‘Parly voo frongsay?’ says I.
+
+“‘By gor, that bangs Banagher, and all the world knows Banagher bangs
+the divil. I never met the likes o’ you, Paddy,’ says he. ‘Pull away,
+boys, and put Paddy ashore, and maybe we won’t get a good bellyful
+before long.’
+
+“So, with that, it wos no sooner said nor done. They pulled away, and
+got close into shore in less than no time, and run the boat up in a
+little creek; and a beautiful creek it was, with a lovely white
+sthrand--an illegant place for ladies to bathe in the summer; and out I
+got; and it’s stiff enough in the limbs I was, afther bein’ cramped up
+in the boat, and perished with the cowld and hunger; but I conthrived to
+scramble on, one way or t’ other, tow’rd a little bit iv a wood that was
+close to the shore, and the smoke curlin’ out iv it, quite timptin’
+like.
+
+“‘By the powdhers o’ war, I’m all right,’ says I; ‘there’s a house
+there.’ And, sure enough, there was, and a parcel of men, women, and
+childher, ating their dinner round a table, quite convanient. And so I
+wint up to the door, and I thought I’d be very civil to them, as I heerd
+the Frinch was always mighty p’lite intirely, and I thought I’d show
+them I knew what good manners was.
+
+“So I took aff my hat, and, making a low bow, says I, ‘God save all
+here,’ says I.
+
+“Well, to be sure, they all stapt ating at wanst, and began to stare at
+me, and, faith, they almost looked me out of countenance; and I thought
+to myself, it was not good manners at all, more betoken from furriners
+which they call so mighty p’lite. But I never minded that, in regard o’
+wantin’ the gridiron; and so says I, ‘I beg your pardon,’ says I, ‘for
+the liberty I take, but it’s only bein’ in disthress in regard of
+ating,’ says I, ‘that I made bowld to throuble yez, and if you could
+lind me the loan of a gridiron,’ says I, ‘I’d be intirely obleeged to
+ye.’
+
+“By gor, they all stared at me twice worse nor before, and with that,
+says I (knowing what was in their minds), ‘Indeed, it’s thrue for you,’
+says I. ‘I’m tatthered to pieces, and God knows I look quare enough; but
+it’s by raison of the storm,’ says I, ‘which dhruv us ashore here below,
+and we’re all starvin’,’ says I.
+
+“So then they began to look at each other again; and myself seeing at
+once dirty thoughts was in their heads, and that they tuk me for a poor
+beggar coming to crave charity, with that says I, ‘Oh, not at all,’ says
+I, ‘by no manes--we have plenty of mate ourselves there below, and we’ll
+dhress it,’ says I, ‘if you would be plased to lind us the loan of a
+gridiron,’ says I, makin’ a low bow.
+
+“Well, sir, with that, throth, they stared at me twice worse nor ever,
+and, faith, I began to think that maybe the captain was wrong, and that
+it was not France at all at all; and so says I, ‘I beg pardon, sir,’
+says I to a fine ould man, with a head of hair as white as silver;
+‘maybe I’m under a mistake,’ says I, ‘but I thought I was in France,
+sir; aren’t you furriners?’ says I. ‘Parly voo frongsay?’
+
+“‘We, munseer,’ says he.
+
+“‘Then would you lind me the loan of a gridiron,’ says I, ‘if you
+plase?’
+
+“Oh, it was thin that they stared at me as if I had seven heads; and,
+faith, myself began to feel flushed like and onaisy; and so says I,
+makin’ a bow and scrape ag’in, ‘I know it’s a liberty I take, sir,’ says
+I, ‘but it’s only in the regard of bein’ cast away; and if you plase,
+sir,’ says I, ‘parly voo frongsay?’
+
+“‘We, munseer,’ says he, mighty sharp.
+
+“‘Then would you lind me the loan of a gridiron?’ says I, ‘and you’ll
+obleege me.’
+
+“Well, sir, the ould chap began to munseer me; but the divil a bit of a
+gridiron he’d gi’ me; and so I began to think they wor all neygars, for
+all their fine manners; and, throth, my blood begun to rise, and says I,
+‘By my sowl, if it was you was in disthress,’ says I, ‘and if it was to
+ould Ireland you kem, it’s not only the gridiron they’d give you, if you
+axed it, but something to put an it, too, and the drop o’ dhrink into
+the bargain, and cead mile failte.’
+
+“Well, the word cead mile failte seemed to sthreck his heart, and the
+ould chap cocked his ear, and so I thought I’d give him another offer,
+and make him sinsible at last; and so says I, wanst more, quite slow,
+that he might understand, ‘Parly--voo--frongsay, munseer?’
+
+“‘We, munseer,’ says he.
+
+“‘Then lind me the loan of a gridiron,’ says I, ‘and bad scram to you.’
+
+“Well, bad win to the bit of it he’d gi’ me, and the ould chap begins
+bowin’ and scrapin’, and said something or other about a long tongs.
+
+[Footnote: Some mystification of Paddy’s touching the French n’tends.]
+
+“‘Phoo!--the divil swape yourself and your tongs,’ says I; ‘I don’t want
+a tongs at all at all; but can’t you listen to raison?’ says I. ‘Parly
+voo frongsay?’
+
+“‘We, munseer.’
+
+“‘Then lind me the loan of a gridiron,’ says I, ‘and howld your prate.’
+
+“Well, what would you think, but he shook his old noddle as much as to
+say he wouldn’t; and so says I, ‘Bad cess to the likes o’ that I ever
+seen! Throth, if you wor in my counthry, it’s not that away they’d use
+you. The curse o’ the crows an you, you ould sinner,’ says I; ‘the divil
+a longer i’ll darken your door.’
+
+“So he seen I was vexed; and I thought, as I was turnin’ away, I seen
+him begin to relint, and that his conscience throubled him; and says I,
+turnin’ back, ‘Well, I’ll give you one chance more, you ould thief. Are
+you a Chrishthan at all? Are you a furriner,’ says I,’ that all the
+world calls so p’lite? Bad luck to you, do you understand your own
+language? Parly voo frongsay?’ says I.
+
+“‘We, munseer,’ says he.
+
+“‘Then, thunder an’ turf,’ says I, ‘will you lind me the loan of a
+gridiron?’
+
+“Well, sir, the divil resa’ve the bit of it he’d gi’ me; and so, with
+that, ‘The curse o’ the hungry an you, you ould neygarly villain,’ says
+I; ‘the back o’ my hand and the sowl o’ my foot to you, that you may
+want a gridiron yourself yit,’ says I. And with that I left them there,
+sir, and kem away; and, in throth, it’s often sense that I thought that
+it was remarkable.”
+
+
+
+
+THE EMERGENCY MEN
+
+BY GEORGE H. JESSOP
+
+
+The fourth morning after his arrival in Dublin, Mr. Harold Hayes, of New
+York, entered the breakfast-room of the Shelbourne Hotel in a very bad
+humour. He was sick of the city, of the people, and of his own company.
+Before leaving London he had written to his friend, Jack Connolly, that
+he was coming to Ireland, and he had expected to find a reply at the
+Shelbourne. For three days he had waited in vain, and it was partly, at
+least, on Jack’s account that Mr. Hayes was in Ireland at all. When Jack
+sailed from New York he had bound Harold by a solemn promise to spend a
+few weeks at Lisnahoe on his next visit to Europe. Miss Connelly, who
+had accompanied her brother on his American tour, had echoed and
+indorsed the invitation.
+
+Harold had naturally expected to find at the hotel a letter urging him
+to take the first train for the south. He had seen a great deal of the
+Connellys during their stay in the United States, and Jack and he had
+become firm friends. He had crossed at this unusual season mainly on
+Jack’s account--on Jack’s account and his sister’s; so it was little
+wonder if the young man considered himself ill used. He felt that he had
+been lured across the Irish Channel--across the Atlantic Ocean
+itself--on false pretences.
+
+But in a moment the cloud lifted from his brow, a quick smile stirred
+under his yellow moustache, and his eyes brightened, for a waiter handed
+him a letter. It lay, address uppermost, on the salver, and bore the
+Ballydoon postmark, and the handwriting was the disjointed scrawl which
+he had often ridiculed, but now welcomed as Jack Connolly’s.
+
+This is what Hayes read as he sipped his coffee:
+
+ _Lisnahoe_, December 23d.
+
+ MY DEAR HAROLD: Home I come from Ballinasloe yesterday, and find
+ your letter, the best part of a week old, kicking about among the
+ bills and notices of meets that make the biggest end of my
+ correspondence. You must be destroyed entirely, my poor fellow, if
+ you’ve been three days in dear dirty Dublin, and you not knowing a
+ soul in it. Come down at once, and you’ll find a hearty welcome
+ here if you won’t find much else. I don’t see why you couldn’t have
+ come anyhow, without waiting to write; but you were always so
+ confoundedly ceremonious. We’re rather at sixes and sevens, for the
+ governor’s got “in howlts” with his tenants and we’re boycotted.
+ It’s not bad fun when you’re used to it, but a trifle inconvenient
+ in certain small ways. Let me know what train you take and I’ll
+ meet you at the station. You must be here for Christmas Day anyhow.
+ Polly sends her regards, and says she knew the letter was from you,
+ and she came near opening it. I’m sure I wish she had, and answered
+ it, for I’m a poor fist at a letter.
+
+ Yours truly,
+
+ JACK CONNOLLY.
+
+The first available train carried Harold southward. On the way he read
+the letter again. The notion of entering a boycotted household amused
+and pleased him. He had never been in Ireland before, and he was quite
+willing that his first visit should be well spiced with the national
+flavour. Of course he had his views on the Irish question. Every
+American newspaper reader is cheerfully satisfied with the conviction
+that the Celtic race on its native sod has no real faults. A
+constitutional antipathy to rent may exist, but that is a national
+foible which, owing doubtless to some peculiarity of the climate, is
+almost praiseworthy in Ireland, though elsewhere regarded as hardly
+respectable. At any rate, with the consciousness that he was about to
+come face to face with the much-talked-of boycott, Harold’s spirits
+rose, and as he read Polly Connolly’s message they rose still higher. He
+was a lively young fellow, and fond of excitement. And at one time, as
+he recalled with a smile and a sigh, he had been almost fond of Polly
+Connolly.
+
+When he alighted at the station--a small place in Tipperary--the dusk of
+the early winter evening was closing in, and Harold recollected that his
+prompt departure from Dublin had prevented him from apprising Jack of
+his movements. Of course there would be no trap from Lisnahoe to meet
+this train, but that mattered little. Half a dozen hack-drivers were
+already extolling the merits of their various conveyances, and imploring
+his patronage.
+
+Selecting the best-looking car, he swung himself into his seat, while
+the “jarvey” hoisted his portmanteau on the other side.
+
+“Where to, yer honour?” inquired the latter, climbing to his place.
+
+“To Lisnahoe House,” answered Hayes.
+
+“Where?”
+
+This question was asked with a vehemence that startled the young
+American.
+
+“Lisnahoe. Don’t you know the way?” he replied.
+
+“In troth an’ I do. Is it Connolly’s?”
+
+“Yes,” answered Harold. “Drive on, my good fellow; it’s growing late.”
+
+The man’s only answer was to spring from his seat and seize Harold’s
+portmanteau, which he deposited on the road with no gentle hand.
+
+“What do you mean?” cried the young man, indignantly.
+
+“I mane that ye’d betther come down out o’ that afore I make ye.”
+
+Harold was on the ground in a moment and approached the man with
+clinched fists and flashing eyes.
+
+“How dare you, you scoundrel! Will you drive me to Lisnahoe or will you
+not?”
+
+“The divil a fut,” answered the fellow, sullenly.
+
+Hayes controlled his anger by an effort. There was nothing to be gained
+by a row with the man. He turned to another driver.
+
+“Pick up that portmanteau. Drive me out to Mr. Connolly’s. I’ll pay
+double fare.”
+
+But they all with one consent, like the guests in the parable, began to
+make excuse. One man’s horse was lame, another’s car was broken down;
+the services of a third had been “bespoke.” Few were as frank as the man
+first engaged, but all were prompt with the obvious lies, scarcely less
+aggravating than actual rudeness. The station-master appeared, and
+attempted to use his influence in the traveller’s behalf, but he
+effected nothing.
+
+“You’ll have to walk, sir,” said the official, civilly. “I’ll keep your
+portmanteau here till Mr. Connolly sends for it.” And he carried the
+luggage back into the station.
+
+“How far is it to Mr. Connolly’s?” Harold inquired of a ragged urchin
+who had strolled up with several companions.
+
+“Fish an’ find out,” answered the youngster, with a grin.
+
+“We’ll tache them to be sendin’ Emergency men down here,” said another.
+
+The New-Yorker was fast losing patience.
+
+“This is Irish hospitality and native courtesy,” he remarked, bitterly.
+“Will any one tell me the road I am to follow?”
+
+“Folly yer nose,” a voice shouted; and there was a general laugh, in the
+midst of which the station-master reappeared.
+
+He pointed out the way, and Harold trudged off to accomplish, as best he
+might, five Irish miles over miry highways and byways through the
+darkness of the December evening.
+
+This was the young American’s first practical experience of boycotting.
+
+It was nearly seven o’clock when, tired and mud-bespattered, he reached
+Lisnahoe; but the warmth of his reception there went far to banish all
+recollection of the discomforts of his solitary tramp. A hearty
+hand-clasp from Jack, a frank and smiling greeting from Polly (she
+looked handsomer than ever, Harold thought, with her lustrous black hair
+and soft, dark-gray eyes), put him at his ease at once. Then came
+introductions to the rest of the family. Mr. Connolly, stout and
+white-haired, bade him welcome in a voice which owned more than a touch
+of Tipperary brogue. Mrs. Connolly, florid and good-humoured, was very
+solicitous for his comfort. The children confused him at first. There
+were so many of them, of all sizes, that Hayes abandoned for the present
+any attempt to distinguish them by name. There was a tall lad of twenty
+or thereabouts,--a faithful copy of his elder brother Jack,--who was
+addressed as Dick, and a pretty, fair-haired girl of seventeen, whom, as
+Polly’s sister, Harold was prepared to like at once. She was Agnes.
+After these came a long array,--no less than nine more,--ending with a
+sturdy little chap of three, whom Polly presently picked up and carried
+off to bed. Mr. Connolly, of Lisnahoe, could boast of a full quiver.
+
+There was a general chorus of laughter as Harold related his experience
+at the railway-station. The Connollys had rested for several days under
+the ban of the most rigid boycott, and had become used to small
+discomforts. They faced the situation bravely, and turned all such petty
+troubles into jest; but the American was sorely disquieted to learn that
+there was only one servant in the house--an old man who for many years
+had blacked boots and cleaned knives for the family, and who had refused
+to crouch to heel under the lash of the boycott.
+
+Harold stammered an apology for his unseasonable visit, but Jack cut him
+short.
+
+“Nonsense, man; the more the merrier. We’re glad to have you, and if you
+can rough it a bit you won’t find it half bad fun.”
+
+“Oh, I don’t mind, I’m sure,” said Harold; “only I’m afraid you’d rather
+have your house to yourselves at such a time as this.”
+
+“Not we. Why, we expect some Emergency men down here in a few days.
+We’ll treat you as the advance guard; we’ll set you to work and give you
+your grub the same as an Emergency man.”
+
+“What is an Emergency man?” inquired Harold. “Those Chesterfieldian
+drivers at the station seemed to think it was the worst name they could
+call me.”
+
+A hearty laugh went round the circle.
+
+“If they took ye for an Emergency man, it’s small wonder they were none
+too swate on ye,” observed Mr. Connolly.
+
+“But what does it mean?” asked the New-Yorker.
+
+“Well,” began the old gentleman, “there’s good and bad in this world of
+ours. When tenants kick and labourers clare out, an’ a boycott’s put on
+a man, they’d lave yer cattle to die an’ yer crops to rot for all they
+care. It’s what they want. Well, there happens to be a few dacent people
+left in Ireland yet, and they have got up an organization they call the
+Emergency men; they go to any part of the country and help out people
+that have been boycotted through no fault of their own--plough their
+fields or reap their oats or dig their potatoes, an’ generally knock the
+legs out from under the boycott. It stands to reason that the
+blackguards in these parts hate an Emergency man as the divil hates holy
+water; but ye may take it as a compliment that ye were mistook for one,
+for all that.”
+
+Here Dick thrust his head into the door of the large library, in which
+the party was assembled.
+
+“Dinner is served, my lords and ladies,” he cried; and there was a
+general movement toward the dining-room.
+
+“No ceremony here, my boy,” laughed Jack, as he led Harold across the
+hall. “I’ll be your cavalier and show you the way. The girls are in the
+kitchen, I suppose.”
+
+But Miss Connolly and Agnes were already in the dining-room, and the
+party gathered round the well-spread board and proceeded to do full
+justice to the good things thereon. The meal was more like a picnic than
+a set dinner. Old Peter Dwyer, the last remaining retainer, had never
+attended at table, so he confined himself to kitchen duties, while the
+young Connollys waited on themselves and on each other. A certain little
+maid, whom Harold by this time had identified as Bella, devoted herself
+to the stranger, and took care that neither his glass nor his plate
+should be empty. A glance of approval, which he intercepted on its way
+from Miss Connolly to her little sister, told Harold that Bella had been
+given a charge concerning him, and he appreciated the attention none the
+less on that account, while he ate his dinner with the agreeable
+confidence that it had been prepared by Miss Polly’s own fair hands.
+
+Everything at table was abundant and good of its kind, and conversation
+was alert and merry, as it is apt to be in a large family party. So far,
+the boycott seemed to have anything but a depressing effect, though
+Harold could not help smiling as he realised how it would have crushed
+to powder more than one estimable family of his acquaintance.
+
+After dinner Jack rose, saying that he must go round to the stables and
+bed down the horses for the night. Harold accompanied him, and acquitted
+himself very well with a pitchfork, considering that he had little
+experience with such an implement. he had gone with a couple of the
+younger boys to chop turnips for certain cattle which were being
+fattened for the market.
+
+“How did you come to be boycotted?” inquired Harold, with some
+curiosity, as soon as he found himself alone with Jack.
+
+“Oh, it doesn’t take much talent to accomplish that nowadays,” answered
+the young Irishman, with a laugh. “In the first place, the governor has
+a habit of asking for his rent, which is an unpopular proceeding at the
+best of times. In the second place, I bought half a dozen bullocks from
+a boycotted farmer out Limerick way.”
+
+“And is that all?” asked Harold, in astonishment. Notwithstanding his
+regard for his friend, he had never doubted that there must have been
+some appalling piece of persecution to justify this determined
+ostracism.
+
+“All!” echoed Jack, laughing. “You don’t know much of Ireland, my boy,
+or you wouldn’t ask that question. We bought cattle that had been raised
+by a farmer on land from which a defaulting tenant had been evicted. Men
+have been shot in these parts for less than that.”
+
+“Pleasant state of affairs,” remarked the New-Yorker.
+
+“I don’t much care,” Jack went on, lightly. “We’re promised a couple of
+Emergency men from Ulster in a few days, and that will take the weight
+of the work off our hands. It isn’t as if it were a busy time. No crops
+to be saved in winter, you see, and no farm work except stall-feeding
+the cattle. That can’t wait.”
+
+“But your sisters--all the work of that big house--” began Harold, who
+was thinking of Polly.
+
+“We expect two Protestant girls down from Belfast to-morrow. That’ll be
+all right. We get all our grub from Dublin,--they won’t sell us anything
+in Ballydoon,--and we mean to keep on doing so, boycott or no boycott.
+We have been about the best customers to the shopkeepers round here, and
+it’ll come near ruining the town--and serve them right,” the young man
+added, with the first touch of bitterness he had displayed in speaking
+of the persecution of his family.
+
+By next day the situation had improved. A couple of servant-girls
+arrived from the north. They were expected, and accordingly Dick was on
+hand with the jaunting-car to meet them and drive them from the station.
+The Emergency men had not yet appeared, so Jack and such of his brothers
+as were old enough to be of use were kept pretty busy round the place.
+Harold had wished to return to England and postpone his visit till a
+more convenient time, but to this no one would listen. He made no
+trouble; he was not a bit in the way; in fact, he was a great help. So
+said they all, and the young New-Yorker was quite willing to believe
+them.
+
+He did occasionally offer assistance in stable or farm-yard, but he much
+preferred to spend his time rambling over the old place, admiring the
+lawns, the woods, the gardens, all strangely silent and deserted now.
+Miss Connolly was often his companion. The importation from Belfast
+relieved her of some of the pressure of household cares, and since her
+brothers were fully occupied, it devolved upon her to play host as well
+as hostess, and point out to the stranger the various charms of
+Lisnahoe.
+
+This suited Harold exactly. He usually carried a gun and sometimes shot
+a rabbit or a wood-pigeon, but generally he was content to listen to
+Polly’s lively conversation, and gaze into the depths of her eyes,
+wondering why they looked darker and softer here under the shadow of her
+native woods than they had ever seemed in the glare and dazzle of a New
+York ball-room. Harold Hayes was falling in love--falling consciously,
+yet without a struggle. He was beginning to realise that life could have
+nothing better in store for him than this tall, graceful girl, in her
+becoming sealskin cap and jacket, whose little feet, so stoutly and
+serviceably shod, kept pace with his own over so many miles of pleasant
+rambles.
+
+One day--it was the last of the old year--Miss Connolly and Harold were
+strolling along a path on which the wintry sunshine was tracing
+fantastic patterns as it streamed through the naked branches of the
+giant beech-trees. The young man had a gun on his shoulder, but he was
+paying little attention to the nimble rabbits that now and then frisked
+across the road. He was thinking, and thinking deeply.
+
+He could not hope for many more such quiet walks with his fair
+companion. She would soon have more efficient chaperons than the
+children, who often made a pretence of accompanying them, but invariably
+dashed off, disdainful of the sober pace of their elders. Before
+long--next day probably--he would be handed over to the tender mercies
+of Jack, who had constantly lamented the occupations that prevented his
+paying proper attention to his guest. The heir of Lisnahoe had promised
+to show the young stranger some “real good sport” as soon as other
+duties would permit. That time was close at hand now. The Emergency men
+had been at work for several days; they were thoroughly at home in their
+duties; besides, the fat cattle would be finished very shortly and sent
+off to be sold in Dublin. Jack had announced his intention of stealing a
+holiday on the morrow, and taking Hayes to a certain famous “snipe
+bottom,” when the game was, to use Dick’s expression, “as thick as plums
+in one of Polly’s puddings.”
+
+It was hard to guess then they might have such another rumble, and
+Harold had much to say to the girl at his side; and yet, for the life of
+him, he could not utter the words that were trembling on his lips.
+
+“I don’t believe you care much for shooting, Mr. Hayes.”
+
+A rabbit loped slowly across die road not twenty yards from the gun, but
+Harold had not noticed it. He roused himself with a start, however, at
+the sound of his companion’s voice.
+
+“Oh yes, I do, sometimes,” he answered, glancing alertly to both sides
+of the road; but no game was in sight for the moment.
+
+“If this frost should break up, you may have some hunting,” pursued Miss
+Connolly. “I’m afraid you’re having an awfully stupid time.”
+
+Harold interposed an eager denial.
+
+“Oh yes, you must be,” insisted the young lady; “but Jack will find more
+time now, and if we have a thaw you will have a day with the hounds. Are
+you fond of hunting?”
+
+“I am very fond of riding, but I have never hunted,” answered the
+New-Yorker.
+
+“Just like me. I am never so happy as when I am on horseback, but mamma
+won’t let me ride to hounds. She says she does not approve of ladies on
+the field. It is traditional, I suppose, that every mistress of Lisnahoe
+should oppose hunting.”
+
+“Indeed, why so?” inquired Harold.
+
+“Why, don’t you know?” asked the girl. “Has nobody told you our family
+ghost-story?”
+
+“No one as yet,” answered Hayes.
+
+“Then mine be the pleasing task; and there is a peculiar fitness in your
+hearing it just now, for to-morrow will be New-Year’s Day.”
+
+Harold failed to see the applicability of the date, but he made no
+observation, and Miss Connolly went on.
+
+“Ever so many years ago this place belonged to an ancestor of mine who
+was devoted to field-sports of all kinds. He lived for nothing else,
+people thought, but suddenly he surprised all the world by getting
+married.”
+
+Harold thought that if her remote grandmother had chanced to resemble
+the fair young girl at his side, there was a good excuse for the
+sportsman; but he held his tongue.
+
+“The bride was exacting--or perhaps she was only timid. At any rate, she
+used her influence to wean her husband from his outdoor
+pursuits--especially hunting. He must have been very much in love with
+her, for she succeeded, and he promised to give it all up--after one day
+more. It seems that he could not get out of this last run. The meet was
+on the lawn; the hunt breakfast was to be at Lisnahoe House. In short,
+it was an affair that could neither be altered nor postponed.
+
+“This meet,” continued Polly, “was on New-Year’s Day. There was a great
+gathering, and after breakfast the gentlemen came out and mounted at the
+door; the hounds were grouped on the lawn; it must have been a beautiful
+sight.”
+
+“It must, indeed,” assented Harold.
+
+“Well, this old Mr. Connolly--but you must understand that he was not
+old at all, only all this happened so long ago--he mounted his horse,
+and his wife came out on the step to bid him good-bye, and to remind him
+of his promise that this should be his last hunt. And so it was, poor
+fellow; for while she was standing talking to him, a gust of wind came
+and blew part of her dress right into the horse’s face. Mr. Connolly was
+riding a very spirited animal. It reared up and fell back on him,
+killing him on the spot.”
+
+“How horrible!” exclaimed Harold.
+
+“Wait! The shock to the young wife was so great that she died the next
+day.”
+
+“The poor girl!”
+
+“Don’t waste your sympathy. It was all very long ago, and perhaps it
+never happened at all. However, the curious part of the story is to
+come. Every one that had been present at that meet--men, dogs,
+horses--everything died within the year.”
+
+“To the ruin of the local insurance companies?” remarked Harold, with a
+smile.
+
+“You needn’t laugh. They did. And next New-Year’s night, between twelve
+and one o’clock, the whole hunt passed through the place, and they have
+kept on doing it every New-Year’s night since.”
+
+“A most interesting and elaborate ghost-story,” said Harold. “Pray, Miss
+Connolly, may I ask if you yourself have seen the phantom hunt?”
+
+“No one has ever done that,” replied Polly, “but when there is moonlight
+they say the shadows can be seen passing over the grass, and any
+New-Year’s night you may hear the huntsman’s horn.”
+
+“I should like amazingly to hear it,” replied the young man. “Have you
+ever heard this horn?”
+
+“I have heard A horn,” the girl answered, with some reluctance.
+
+“On New-Year’s night between twelve and one?” he pursued.
+
+“Of course--but I can’t swear it was blown by a ghost. My brothers or
+some one may have been playing tricks. You can sit up to-night and
+listen for yourself if you want.”
+
+“Nothing I should like better,” exclaimed Harold. “Will you sit up too?”
+
+“Oh yes. We always wait to see the Old Year out and the New Year in.
+Come, Mr. Hayes, it’s almost luncheon-time,” she added, glancing at her
+watch; and they turned back toward the house, which was just visible
+through the leafless trees.
+
+Harold walked at her side in silence. He had heard a ghost-story, but
+the words he had hoped to speak that day were still unuttered.
+
+Loud were the pleadings, when the little ones’ bedtime came, that they
+might be allowed to sit up to see the Old Year die; but Mrs. Connolly
+was inexorable. The very young ones were sent off to bed at their usual
+hour.
+
+Cards and music passed the time pleasantly till the clock was almost on
+the stroke of twelve. Then wine was brought in, and healths were drunk,
+and warm, cheerful wishes were uttered, invoking all the blessings that
+the New Year might have in store. Hands were clasped and kisses were
+exchanged. Harold would willingly have been included in this last
+ceremony, but that might not be. However, he could and did press Polly’s
+hand very warmly, and the earnestness of the wishes he breathed in her
+ear called a bright colour to her cheek. Then came good-night, and the
+young American’s heart grew strangely soft when he found himself
+included in Mrs. Connolly’s motherly blessing. He thought he had never
+seen a happier, a more united family.
+
+The party was breaking up; some had retired; others were standing,
+bedroom candlesticks in their hands, exchanging a last word, when
+suddenly, out of the silence of the night, the melodious notes of a
+huntsman’s horn echoed through the room. Harold recalled the legend, and
+paused at the door, mute and wondering.
+
+Jack and his father exchanged glances.
+
+“Now which of you’s tryin’ to humbug us this year?” asked the old man,
+laughing, while Jack looked round and proceeded, as he said, to “count
+noses.”
+
+This was a useless attempt, for half the party that had sat up to wait
+for the New Year had already disappeared.
+
+Dick sprang to the window and threw it open, but the night was cloudy
+and dark.
+
+Again came the notes of the horn, floating in through the open window,
+and almost at the same moment there was a sound of hoofs crunching the
+gravel of the drive as a dozen or more animals swept past at wild
+gallop.
+
+“This is past a joke,” cried Jack. “I never heard of the old hunt
+materializing in any such way as this.”
+
+They rushed to the front door--Jack, Mr. Connolly, all of them. Harold
+reached it first. Wrenching it open, he stood on the step, while the
+others crowded about him and peered out into the night. Only darkness,
+rendered mirker by the lights in the hall; and from the distance,
+fainter now, came the measured beat of the galloping hoofs.
+
+No other sound? Yes, a long-drawn, quivering, piteous sigh; and as their
+eyes grew more accustomed to the night, out of the darkness something
+white shaped itself--something prone and helpless, lying on the gravel
+beneath the lowest step. They did not stop to speculate as to what it
+might be. With a single impulse, Jack and Harold sprang down, and
+between them they carried back into the hall the inanimate body of Polly
+Connolly.
+
+Her eyes were closed and her face was as white as the muslin dress she
+wore. Clutched in her right hand was a hunting-horn belonging to Dick.
+It was evident that the girl had stolen out unobserved to
+reproduce--perhaps for the visitor’s benefit--the legendary notes of the
+phantom huntsman. This was a favorite joke among the young Connollys,
+and scarcely a New-Year’s night passed that it was not practised by one
+or other of the large family; but what had occurred to-night? Whence
+came those galloping hoofs, and what was the explanation of Polly’s
+condition?
+
+The swoon quickly yielded to the usual remedies, but even when she
+revived it was some time before the girl could speak intelligibly. Her
+voice was broken by hysterical sobs; she trembled in every limb. It was
+evident that her nerves had received a severe shock.
+
+While the others were occupied with Polly, Dick had stepped out on the
+gravel sweep, where he was endeavouring, by close examination, to
+discover some clue to the puzzle. Suddenly he ran back into the house.
+
+“Something’s on fire!” he cried. “I believe it’s the yard.”
+
+They all pressed to the open door--all except Mrs. Connolly, who still
+busied herself with her daughter, and Harold, whose sole interest was
+centred in the girl he loved.
+
+Above a fringe of shrubbery which masked the farm-yard, a red glow lit
+up the sky. It was evident the buildings were on fire. And even while
+they looked a man, half dressed, panting, smoke-stained, dashed up the
+steps. It was Tom Neil, one of the Emergency men.
+
+These men slept in the yard, in the quarters vacated by the deserting
+coachman. In a few breathless words the big, raw-boned Ulsterman told
+the story of the last half-hour.
+
+He and his comrade Fergus had been awakened by suspicious sounds in the
+yard. Descending, they had found the cattle-shed in flames. Neil had
+forced his way in and had liberated and driven out the terrified
+bullocks. The poor animals, wild with terror, had burst from the yard
+and galloped off in the direction of the house. This accounted for the
+trampling hoofs that had swept across the lawn, but scarcely for Polly’s
+terrified condition. A country-bred girl like Miss Connolly would not
+lose her wits over the spectacle of a dozen fat oxen broken loose from
+their stalls. Had the barn purposely burned, and had the girl fallen in
+with the retreating incendiaries?
+
+It seemed likely. No one there doubted the origin of the fire, and Mr.
+Connolly expressed the general feeling as he shook his head and
+murmered:
+
+“I mistrusted that they wouldn’t let us get them cattle out o’ the
+country without some trouble.”
+
+“But where is Fergus?” demanded Jack, suddenly.
+
+“Isn’t he here?” asked the Ulsterman. “When we seen the fire he started
+up to the big house to give the alarm, while I turned to to save the
+bullocks.”
+
+“No, he never came to the house,” answered Jack, and there was an added
+gravity in his manner as he turned to his brother.
+
+“Get a lantern, Dick. This thing must be looked into at once.”
+
+While the boy went in search of a light, Mr. Connolly attempted to
+obtain from his daughter a connected statement of what had happened and
+how much she had seen; but she was in no condition to answer questions.
+The poor girl could only sob and moan and cover her face with her hands,
+while convulsive tremblings shook her slight figure.
+
+“Oh, don’t ask me, papa; don’t speak to me about it. It was
+dreadful--dreadful. I saw it all.”
+
+This was all they could gain from her.
+
+“Don’t thrubble the poor young lady,” interposed old Peter,
+compassionately. “Sure, the heart’s put acrass in her wid the fright.
+Lave her be till mornin’.”
+
+There seemed nothing else to be done, so Polly was left in charge of her
+mother and sister, while the men, headed by Dick, who carried a lantern,
+set out to examine the grounds.
+
+There was no trace of Fergus between the house and the farm-yard. The
+lawn was much cut up by the cattle, for the frost had turned to rain
+early in the evening, and a rapid thaw was in progress. The ground was
+quite soft on the surface, and it was carefully scrutinised for traces
+of footsteps, but nothing could be distinguished among the hoof-prints
+of the bullocks.
+
+In the yard all was quiet. The fire had died down; the roof of the
+cattle-shed had fallen in and smothered the last embers. The barn was a
+ruin, but no other damage had been done, and there were no signs of the
+missing man.
+
+They turned back, this time making a wider circle. Almost under the
+kitchen window grew a dense thicket of laurel and other evergreen
+shrubs. Dick stooped and let the light of the lantern penetrate beneath
+the overhanging branches.
+
+There, within three steps of the house, lay Fergus, pale and
+blood-stained, with a sickening dent in his temple--a murdered man.
+
+Old Peter Dwyer was the first to break the silence: “The Lord be good to
+him! They’ve done for him this time, an’ no mistake.”
+
+The lifeless body was lifted gently and borne toward the house. Harold
+hastened in advance to make sure that none of the ladies were astir to
+be shocked by the grisly sight. The hall was deserted. Doubtless Polly’s
+condition demanded all their attention.
+
+“The girl saw him murdered,” muttered Mr. Connolly. “I thought it must
+have been something out of the common to upset her so.”
+
+“D’ ye think did she, sir?” asked old Peter, eagerly.
+
+“I havnen’t a doubt of it,” replied the old gentlemen shortly. “Thank
+goodness, her evidence will hang the villain, whoever he may be.” “Ah,
+the poor thing, the poor thing!” murmured the servant, and then the sad
+procession entered the house.
+
+The body was laid on a table. It would have been useless to send for a
+surgeon. There was not one to be found within several miles, and it was
+but too evident that life was extinct. The top of the man’s head was
+beaten to a pulp. He had been clubbed to death.
+
+“If it costs me every shilling I have in the world, and my life to the
+boot of it,” said Mr. Connolly, “I’ll see the ruffians that did the deed
+swing for their night’s work.”
+
+“Amin,” assented Peter, solemnly; and Jack’s handsome face darkened as
+he mentally recorded an oath of vengeance.
+
+“There’ll be little sleep for this house to-night,” resumed the old
+gentleman after a pause. “I’m goin’ to look round and see if the doors
+are locked, an’ then take a look at Polly. An’, Peter.”
+
+“Sir!”
+
+“The first light in the mornin’--it’s only a few hours off,” he added,
+with a glance at his watch--“you run over to the police station, and
+give notice of what’s happened.”
+
+“I will, yer honour.”
+
+“Come upstairs with me, boys. I want to talk with you. Good-night, Mr.
+Hayes. This has been a blackguard business, but there’s no reason you
+should lose your rest for it.”
+
+Mr. Connolly left the room, resting his arms on the shoulders of his two
+sons. Harold glanced at the motionless figure of the murdered man, and
+followed. He did not seek his bedroom, however; he knew it would be idle
+to think of sleep. He entered the smoking-room, lit a cigar, and threw
+himself into a chair to wait for morning.
+
+All his ideas as to the Irish question had been changing insensibly
+during his visit to Lisnahoe. This night’s work had revolutionised them.
+He saw the agrarian feud--not as he had been wont to read of it, glozed
+over by the New York papers. He saw it as it was--in all its naked,
+brutal horror.
+
+He had observed that there had been no attempt on the Connollys to
+appeal to neighbours for sympathy in this time of trouble, and he had
+asked Jack the reason. Jack’s answer had been brief and pregnant.
+
+“Where’s the good? We’re boycotted.”
+
+And that dead man lying on the table outside was only an example of
+boycotting carried to its logical conclusion.
+
+The sound of a door closing softly aroused Harold from his reverie. A
+little postern leading from the servants’ quarters opened close to the
+smoking-room window. Harold looked out, and, as the night had grown
+clearer, he distinctly saw old Pete Dwyer making his way with elaborate
+caution down the shrubery path.
+
+“Going to the police station, I suppose,” mused Hayes. “Well, he has
+started betimes.”
+
+Then he resumed his seat and thought of Polly.
+
+What a shock for her, poor girl, to leave a happy home with her heart
+full of innocent mirth, only to encounter murder lurking red-handed at
+the very threshold!
+
+“I wish I had spoken to her to-day,” he muttered. “Goodness alone knows
+when I shall find a chance now. I wonder how she is?”
+
+He realised that he could see nothing of her till breakfast time at any
+rate--if, indeed, she would be strong enough to appear at that meal. He
+had been sitting in the dark; he now threw aside his cigar, and, drawing
+his chair closer to the window, set himself resolutely to watch for the
+dawn and solace his vigil with dreams of Polly.
+
+A raw, chill air blew into the room. He noticed that a pane of glass was
+broken. One of the children had thrown a ball through it a few days
+before, and in the present situation of the Connolly household a glazier
+was an unattainable luxury.
+
+Harold rose with the intention of moving his chair out of the draught,
+but as he did so the sound of whispered words, seemingly at his very
+ear, made him pause. The voices came from the shrubbery below the
+window, and in one of them he recognised the unmistakable brogue of old
+Peter Dwyer.
+
+Had the man been to the police station and returned with the constables
+so quickly? This was Harold’s first thought, but he dismissed it as soon
+as formed. Peter had been barely half an hour absent, and the station
+was several miles off. Where had he been, then, and with whom was he
+conversing? Harold bent his head close to the broken pane and listened.
+
+“Are ye sure sartin that the young woman seen us?” inquired a rough
+voice--not Peter’s--“because this is goin’ to be an ugly job, an’
+there’s no call for us to tackle it widout needcessity?”
+
+“Sartin as stalks,” whispered the old servant. “She was all of a
+thrimble, as if she’d met a sperrit an’ all the words she had was ‘I
+seen it--I seen it all,’ an’ she yowlin’ like a banshee.”
+
+“It’s quare we didn’t take notice to her, for she must ha’ been powerful
+close to see us such a night. I thought I heerd the horn, too, an’ I
+lavin’ the yard.”
+
+She wint out to blow it,” whispered Peter. “Most like it was stuck in
+the shrubbery she was.”
+
+“Come on thin,” growled the other; “it’s got to be done, an’ the byes is
+all here. Ye left the little dure beyant on the latch?”
+
+“I did that,” responded old Peter; and then a low, soft whistle sounded
+in the darkness. It was a signal.
+
+Rapidly but cautiously Harold Hayes left the window and stole across the
+room. He understood it all. Polly had seen the murder and had recognised
+the assassins. Old Dwyer was a traitor. He had slipped out and warned
+the ruffians of the peril in which they stood, and now they were here to
+seal their own safety by another crime--by the sacrifice of a life far
+dearer to Harold than his own.
+
+Swiftly, silently, he sped down the gloomy passage. The lives of all
+beneath that roof were hanging on his speed. Breathless he reached the
+little door, and flung himself against it with all his weight while his
+trembling fingers groped in the darkness for bolt or bar.
+
+A heavy hand was laid on the latch, and the door was tried from without.
+
+“How’s this, Peter?” inquired the rough voice. “I thought ye said it
+wasn’t locked.”
+
+“No more it is; it’s only stiff it is, bad cess to it. Push hard, yer
+sowl ye.”
+
+But at this moment Harold’s hand encountered the bolt. With a sigh of
+relief he shot it into the socket, and then, searching farther, he
+supplemented the defences with a massive bar, which, he knew, ought
+always to be in place at night.
+
+Then he sped back along the passage, while muttered curses reached his
+ears from without, and the door was shaken furiously.
+
+“Jack, Jack,” he panted, as he flung open the door of the room in which
+the young men slept--“Jack, come down and--”
+
+He stopped abruptly. Mr. Connolly was kneeling at the bedside, and his
+two sons knelt to the right and left of him.
+
+There were no family prayers at Lisnahoe; only the ladies were regular
+church-goers; but that it was a religious household no one could have
+doubted who knew the events of the night and saw the old man on his
+knees between his boys.
+
+They rose at the noise of Harold’s entrance, and the American, who felt
+that there were no moments to be wasted on apologies, announced his
+errand.
+
+“Old Peter Dwyer is a traitor! He has gone out and brought the murderers
+to finish the work they have commenced.”
+
+And then, in eager, breathless words, he told them how he had heard the
+conversation in the shrubbery, and how the men, apprehensive that Miss
+Connolly could identify them, had returned to stifle her testimony.
+
+“They were right there,” said the old man. “She saw the first blow, and
+it was struck by Red Mike Driscoll.”
+
+“Then she is better?” asked Harold, eagerly.
+
+The boys were at the other end of the room, slipping cartridges loaded
+with small shot into the fowling-pieces they had snatched from the
+walls.
+
+“Oh yes,” replied Mr. Connolly; “she is all right now.”
+
+A sound of heavy blows echoed through the house. The men below had
+convinced themselves that the door was firmly fastened, and, desperate
+from the conviction that they were identified, and relying on the
+loneliness of the place, they were attacking the barrier with a pickaxe.
+
+“I’ll soon put a stop to that,” cried Jack; and cocking his gun, he left
+the room.
+
+Dick was about to follow, but his father stopped him.
+
+There’s no one in front of the house yet,” said the old gentleman. “Slip
+out quietly, my boy, and make a dash for it to the police station.
+You’ve taken the cup for the two-mile race at Trinity. Let’s see how
+quick you can be when you are running for all our lives.”
+
+“I’ll go down and fasten the door after him,” volunteered Hayes, and the
+old man nodded. Outside, on the landing, they could hear the blows of
+the pickaxe more distinctly. Suddenly, above the clangour, rang out
+close and sharp the two reports of Jack’s double-barrel. He had selected
+a window commanding the attack, and had fired point-blank down into the
+group of men.
+
+Shrieks and groans and curses testified to the accuracy of the young
+man’s aim, and the sound of blows ceased. Harold and Dick ran rapidly
+downstairs. The latter unbarred the front door.
+
+“Don’t you run a fearful risk if you are seen?” inquired the American.
+
+“Of course I do,” returned the brave lad, without a tremor in his voice;
+“but somebody’s got to take the chance; we can’t defend the house
+forever; and I wouldn’t miss this opportunity of nabbing the whole gang
+for a thousand pounds.”
+
+He opened the door and sped out into the night. He was out of sight in a
+moment, and, as far as Harold could judge, he had not been observed.
+Again the blows of the pickaxe rang out from the rear of the house.
+
+Hayes closed the door and replaced the heavy bar. Then he turned to
+remount the stairs, and met Polly, who was standing near the top with a
+candle in her hand.
+
+She was quite composed now, but very pale. He tried to ask if she had
+recovered, but she cut him short impatiently.
+
+“There is nothing the matter with me. What is the meaning of all this
+uproar and--and the firing?”
+
+For at this moment the twin reports of Jack’s breech-loader again echoed
+through the house, this time it was answered by a fusilade from below.
+
+There was nothing to be gained by concealment, and Harold told her the
+whole story in a few words.
+
+“How prompt and clever of you!” she said; “You have saved all our
+lives.”
+
+Her praise was very sweet to him, but there was no time to enjoy it now.
+
+“Where are you going?” she asked, as he turned again to spring up the
+stairs.
+
+I am going to my room for my revolver,” he answered. “I may have use for
+it before this is over.”
+
+“Do,” she replied. “I will wait for you here.” Haves hurried on.
+
+Jack was in the guest’s room. The young Irishman had selected that
+window, as it commanded the little door against which the brunt of the
+attack had hitherto been directed. Every pane was shattered, and walls
+and ceiling showed the effect of the volley that had been directed
+against him, but the young fellow stood his ground uninjured. “Don’t
+mind me,” he said, in answer to Harold’s inquiry. “I’m all right, and
+can hold this fort til morning if they don’t get ladders. I fancy I’ve
+sickened them of trying that door below.”
+
+Harold hastily grasped his revolver and went His idea was to stand in
+the passage near the smoking-room, and defend the place should the door
+give way; for he did not believe that timber had ever been grown to
+withstand such blows.
+
+Mrs. Connolly put her head out of the nursery door as he passed. Her
+husband had told her of the position of affairs.
+
+“Is that you, Mr. Hayes?” she whispered. “Is Jack hurt?”
+
+“Jack is quite safe,” answered the young American. “Are the children
+very much frightened?”
+
+“Not as long as I am with them,” the old lady answered. “And Dick--what
+of him?”
+
+“Dick is all right too,” replied Harold. He could not tell the poor
+woman that her boy was out in the open country without a wall between
+him and the ruffians.
+
+Mrs. Connolly drew back into the nursery to take the post assigned
+her--assuredly not the easiest on that terrible night--to listen to the
+doubtful sounds from without, and to support, by her own constancy, the
+courage of her children.
+
+Harold found Miss Connolly in the hall where he had left her.
+
+“What do you intend to do?” she asked.
+
+“I was going to stand inside the door they have been hammering at,” he
+answered, “in case they should break it in.”
+
+“Papa is there,” said the girl; “perhaps you had better wait here. They
+will try the front door next”
+
+“Very good,” he assented; and then added, with a sudden apprehension,
+“but the windows. There are so many of them. How can we watch them all?”
+
+“There are bars to all the lower windows,” she replied, “and I do not
+think they know where to find ladders. No; their next attempt will be at
+the hall door, and it will be harder to repel than anywhere else, for
+the portico will protect them from shots from the windows.”
+
+“And now, Miss Connolly,” urged Harold, “you can do no good here. Had
+not you better go upstairs out of the way?”
+
+“No, no; I would rather wait here,” she answered. “Don’t be afraid. I
+sha’n’t give way again as I did to-night. I don’t know what came over
+me, but it was all so horrible--so unexpected--” She broke off with a
+little shuddering sigh.
+
+“You saw them attack him?” asked Harold.
+
+She nodded. “I was under that big cedar outside the parlor window. I had
+hidden there to blow the horn. Suddenly I saw Fergus with a lantern in
+his hand coming full speed toward the house. Just as he got within a few
+paces of me, half a dozen men burst out from the laurels. Oh, how
+savagely they struck at him! He was down in a moment. It was all so
+close to me: I recognised Red Mike by the light of poor Fergus’s
+lantern.”
+
+“And then?” asked Hayes.
+
+“I don’t think I remember any more. I must have staggered on to the
+house, for they tell me I was found at the foot of the steps, but I
+don’t know how I got there. I was terribly frightened, but I sha’n’t do
+it again--not if they blow the roof off,” she said, trying to smile.
+
+“I should think they would be afraid to persevere now that they are
+discovered,” observed Harold. “This firing must alarm the
+neighbourhood.”
+
+“In a lonely place like this!” said the girl. “No, no, Mr. Hayes; there
+are not many to hear these shots, and none that would not sooner fight
+against us than on our side. We must depend on ourselves. But oh,” she
+wailed, her woman’s heart betraying itself through the mechanical calm
+she had maintained so long, “oh, I am sorry that your friendship for us
+should have brought you into such peril--to think that your visit here
+may cost you your life,” and she broke off and covered her streaming
+eyes with her hands.
+
+“Indeed, indeed,” said Harold, earnestly, “I think any danger I may run
+a small price to pay for the privilege of knowing you, and, and--of
+loving you.”
+
+It was out at last; the words that had been so difficult to say came
+trippingly from his tongue now, and she did not repulse nor attempt to
+licence him.
+
+There, in the dimly lighted, lofty hall, he poured out all that had been
+in his heart since he had known her, and won from her in return a
+whisper that emboldened him to draw the yielding form toward him and
+press his lips to hers.
+
+With a pealing crash the pickaxe bit into the stout oaken door, and the
+young lovers sprang apart, terrified at this rude interruption of
+dreams. Blow followed blow, and the massive woodwork shivered and
+splintered and swayed under the savage impulse from without.
+
+The assailants had abandoned their attempt on the postern; they had
+ignored the kitchen door, within which stout Tom Neil with Dick’s
+double-barrel stood on guard; they had turned their attention to the
+main entrance, where a projecting portico partially sheltered them from
+the galling discharges of Jack’s favourite “Rigby.”
+
+They were only partially sheltered, however. The heir of Lisnahoe had
+quickly shifted his ground when the attack on the postern was abandoned,
+and he now stood in another room, ready, with the quickness of a
+practised snipe-shot, to fire on any arm or hand or foot which showed
+even for an instant outside the shadow of the portico.
+
+Crash, crash, crash! Again and again the steel fangs of the pick ate
+their way through the solid timber. The lock yielded quickly, but,
+heavily barred at top and bottom, the good door resisted staunchly.
+Polly had glided away from Harold’s side. He fancied that she had sought
+a place of safety, and rejoiced thereat; but in a moment she reappeared.
+She carried a shot-gun in her hands, and when she reached his side she
+rested the butt on the ground and leaned on the weapon.
+
+“I have often fired at things,” she said, simply. “Why shouldn’t I now?”
+
+Mr. Connolly and Jack joined them in the hall, and Neil had come up from
+the kitchen door. The main entrance was evidently the weak point, and
+the whole garrison must be on hand to defend it. The assailants had
+waxed cautious of late, and for some time had allowed the sharp-shooter
+no chance. He thought that he would be of more service below; but, as it
+proved, when he abandoned his post he committed a fatal error.
+
+Apparently the enemy had discovered that the galling fire from above had
+ceased. Perhaps some of their number had ventured out and returned
+scatheless. They speedily took advantage of this immunity. While the
+attacks with the pickaxe were not relaxed for a moment, a score of men
+had brought the trunk of a young larch from the saw-pit at the back of
+the house. Poised by forty strong arms, this improvised battering-ram
+was hurled against the front door, carrying it clear off its hinges. In
+the naked entry a crowd of rough men jostled one another, as they sprang
+forward with hoarse imprecations on their prey. The garrison was
+vanquished at last.
+
+Not yet. Four shots rang out as one, instantly repeated as the defenders
+discharged their second barrels into the very teeth of the advancing
+mob. Then Mr. Connolly, Neil, and Jack clubbed the guns they had no time
+to reload, and prepared to sell their lives dearly in a hand-to-hand
+struggle. Polly, as soon as she had fired, dropped her weapon, and in an
+instant Harold had swept her behind him, and stood, revolver in hand,
+his breast her bulwark, confronting the mob.
+
+But the mob, withered by the volley, hesitated a moment. The vestibule
+was streaming with blood, and shrieking, writhing victims strove in vain
+to rise. It was a sickening sight, but there was the electricity of
+anger in the air and no one faltered long. On they came again with
+undiminished fury.
+
+But again the rush was checked. Sharp and vengeful rang out the close
+reports of the American revolver, and at each echo a man fell. Less
+noisy, less terrific, but far more deadly, the six-shooter took up the
+work where the breech-loaders had left it; and Harold, covering with his
+body the girl he loved, fired as steadily as if practising in a pistol
+gallery, and made every shot tell.
+
+He had not used his weapon in the first rush; somewhere or other, young
+Hayes had heard of the advantages of platoon firing.
+
+The lights had been extinguished and day was just breaking. Firing from
+the obscurity into the growing light, the garrison had the best of the
+position; but there were firearms among the assailants too, and the
+balls whistled through the long hall and buried themselves in the
+panelling.
+
+But this could not last. Much as they had suffered in the assault, the
+assailants were too numerous to be longer held at bay. With a feeling of
+despair, Harold recognised the futile click that followed his pressure
+on the trigger and told him that he had fired his last cartridge.
+
+With a wild yell the assailants rushed forward. Not a shot met them;
+nothing stood between them and their vengeance but four pale, determined
+men, weaponless but unflinching.
+
+A quick trampling as of a body of horse was heard on the gravel without.
+A sharp, stern order reached the ears even of those in the house.
+
+“Unsling carbines! Make ready! Present!”
+
+Clubs and blunderbusses dropped from nerveless hands as the advancing
+mob paused, faltered, and then surged backward through the doorway. The
+lust of vengeance gave way to the instinct of self-preservation, and the
+rioters scattered in flight.
+
+Dick’s gallant race against time had not been fruitless. A squadron of
+constabulary had reached the ground at the critical moment, and Lisnahoe
+was saved.
+
+Few of the assailants escaped--every avenue was guarded by mounted
+policemen; and the gang which had long terrorised the
+neighbourhood--whose teachings and example had done so much to convert
+the sullen discontent of the peasantry into overt violence--was
+effectually broken up. From that night the boycott on the Connolly
+household was raised.
+
+Red Mike Driscoll expiated on the gallows the murder of the Emergency
+man Fergus, and nearly a score of others were sentenced to various terms
+of imprisonment for assault and housebreaking.
+
+The attacking party had lost three men killed, besides many wounded,
+more or less severely, by the shot-guns. The judicial inquiry into the
+casualties brought out details of the defence which struck terror to the
+hearts of the country people. It was not likely that Lisnahoe would be
+molested again.
+
+Harold Hayes and Polly Connolly were married shortly after Easter. They
+are living in New York now, in a pleasant flat overlooking Central Park.
+They entertain a good deal, and Irish affairs are sometimes discussed at
+Mr. Hayes’s table; but so far he has failed to convince any of his
+American friends that there may be more than one side to the agrarian
+question in Ireland.
+
+“Nonsense,” remarked one gentleman, who professed to be deeply read in
+the subject; “they are an oppressed and suffering people. Let them have
+their land.”
+
+“And what is to become of the landlords?” inquired Polly, with a wistful
+remembrance of her girlhood’s beautiful home.
+
+But to this question there has been no reply, and none has been offered
+yet.
+
+
+
+
+A LOST RECRUIT
+
+BY JANE BARLOW
+
+
+When Mick Doherty heard that there was to be route-marching next day in
+the neighbourhood of Kilmacrone, he determined upon going off for a long
+“stravade” coastward over the bog, where there were no roads worth
+mentioning, and no risks of an encounter with the military. In this he
+acted differently from all his neighbours, most of whom, upon learning
+the news, began to speculate and plan how they might see and hear as
+much as possible of their unwonted visitors. Opinions were chiefly
+divided as to whether the Murghadeen cross-roads would be the best
+station to take up, or the fork of the lane at Berrisbawn House. People
+who, for one reason or another, could not go so far afield, consoled
+themselves by reflecting that the band, at any rate, would be likely to
+come through the village, and would no doubt strike up a tune while
+passing, as it had done a couple of years ago, the last time the
+redcoats had appeared in Kilmacrone. And, och, but that was the grand
+playin’ intirely! It done your heart good just to be hearin’ the sound
+of it, bedad it did so. Old Mrs. Geoghegan said it was liker the sort of
+thunder-storms they might be apt to have in heaven above than aught else
+she could think of, might goodness forgive her for sayin’ such a thing;
+and Molly Joyce said she’d as lief as not have sat down and cried when’t
+was passed beyond her listenin’, it went that delightful thumpety-thump,
+wid the tune flyin’ up over it.
+
+The military authorities at Fortbrack were not ignorant of this popular
+sentiment, and had considered it in the order of that day. For
+experience had shown that a progress of troops through the surrounding
+country districts generally conduced to the appearance before the
+recruiting officer of sundry long-limbed, loose-jointed Pats, Micks, and
+Joes; and a recent scarcity of this raw material made it seem expedient
+to bring such an influence to bear upon the new ground of remote
+Kilmacrone. Certain brigades and squadrons were accordingly directed to
+move thitherward, under the general idea that an invading force from the
+southeast had occupied Ballybeg Allan, while in pursuance of another
+general idea, really more to the purpose, though not officially
+announced, the accompanying band received instructions to be liberal and
+lively in its performances by the way.
+
+All along their route through the wide brown land the soldiers might be
+sure of drawing as much sympathetic attention as that lonesome west
+country could concentrate on any given line. Probably there would be no
+one disposed, like Mick Doherty, to get out of the way, unless some very
+small child roared and ran, if of a size to have acquired the latter
+accomplishment, at the sound of the booming drums. To the great majority
+of these onlookers the spectacle would be a rare and gorgeous pageant, a
+memory resplendent across twilight-hued time-tracts as a vision of
+scarlet and golden gleams, and proudly pacing horses, and music that
+made you feel you had never known how much life there was in you all the
+while. Some toll, it is true, had to be paid for this enjoyment. When it
+had passed by things suddenly grew very flat and colourless, and there
+was a tendency to feel more or less vaguely aggrieved because you could
+not go a-soldiering yourself. In cases, however, where circumstances
+rendered that obviously impossible, as when people were too old or
+infirm, or were women or girls, this thrill of discontent, seldom very
+acute, soon subsided, by virtue of the self-preserving instinct which
+forbids us to persist in knocking our heads hard against our stone
+walls. But it was different where the beholder was so situated that he
+could imagine himself riding or striding after the rapturous march-music
+to fields of peril and valour and glory, without diminishing the
+vividness of the picture by simultaneously supposing himself some quite
+other person. The gleam in young Felix M’Guinness’s eyes, as he watched
+the red files dwindle and twinkle out of sight, was to the brightening
+up beneath his grandfather’s shaggy brows as the forked flash is to the
+shimmering sheet-lightnings, that are but a harmless reflection from
+far-off storms. And there, indeed, pleasure paid a ruinous duty. If
+those who were liable to it did not imitate Mick Doherty’s prudence and
+hold aloof, the reason may have been that they had not fortitude enough
+to turn away from excitement offered on any terms, or that their
+position was less desperately tantalising than his; and the latter
+explanation is the more probable one, since few lads in and about
+Kilmacrone can have had their martial aspirations baulked by an
+impediment so flimsy and yet so effectual.
+
+There was nothing in the world to hinder Mick from enlisting except just
+the unreasonableness of his mother, and that was an unreasonableness so
+unreasonable as to verge upon hat her neighbours would hare called
+“quare ould conthrariness.” For, though a widow woman, and therefore
+entitled to occupy a pathetic position, its privileges were defined by
+the opinion that “she was not so badly off intirely as she might ha’
+been.” Mick’s departure need not have left her desolate, since she had
+another son and daughter at home, besides Essie married in the village,
+and Brian settled down at Murghadeen, here he was doing well, and times
+and again asking her to come and live with him. Then Mick would have
+been able to help her out of his pay much more efficaciously than he
+could do by his earnings at Kilmacrone, where work was slack and its
+wage low, so that the result of a lad’s daily labour sometimes seemed
+mainly the putting of a fine edge on a superfluous appetite. All these
+points were most clearly seen by Mick in the light of a fiercely burning
+desire; but that availed him nothing unless he could set them as plainly
+before some one else who was not thus illuminated. And not far from two
+years back he had resolved that he would attempt to do so no more.
+
+The soldiers had been about in the district on the day before, scattered
+like poppy beds over the bog, and signalling and firing till the misty
+October air tingled with excitement. When you have lived your life among
+wide-bounded solitudes, where the silence is oftenest broken by the
+plover’s pipe or the croak of some heavily flapping bird, you will know
+the meaning of a bugle-call. Mick and his contemporaries had acted as
+camp-followers from early till late with ever intensifying ardour; one
+outcome whereof was that he heard his especial crony, Paddy Joyce,
+definitely decide to go and enlist at Fortbrack next Monday, which gave
+a turn more to the pinching screw of his own banned wish. It was with a
+concerted scheme for ascertaining whether there were any chance of
+bringing his mother round to a rational view of the matter that he and
+his friend dropped into her cabin next morning on the way to carry up a
+load of turf. Mrs. Doherty was washing her couple of blue-checked aprons
+in an old brown butter-crock, and Mick thought he had introduced the
+subject rather happily when he told her “she had a right to be takin’
+her hands out of the suds, and dippin’ the finest curtsey she could
+conthrive, and she wid the Commander-in-Gineral of the Army Forces
+steppin’ in to pay her a visit.” Of course this statement required, as
+it was intended to require, elucidation, so Mick proceeded to announce:
+“It’s himself’s off to Fortbrack a-Monday, ‘listin’ he’ll be in the
+Edenderry Light Infantry; so the next time we set eyes on him it’s
+blazin’ along the street we’ll see him, like the boys we had here
+yisterday.”
+
+“Ah! sure now, that’ll be grand,” said Mrs. Doherty, unwarily
+complaisant; “we’ll all be proud to behold him that way. ’T is a fine
+thing far any young man who’s got a fancy to take up wid it.”
+
+“Och, then, bedad it is so!” said Mick, with emphasis, promptly making
+for the opening given to him.
+
+“Bedad it is,” said Paddy.
+
+“There’s nothin’ like it,” said Mick.
+
+“Ah, nothin’ at all,” said Paddy.
+
+Mrs. Doherty made no remark as she twisted a dripping apron into a
+sausage-shaped roll to wring the water out.
+
+“How much was it you were sayin’ you’d have in the week, Paddy, just to
+put in your pocket for your divarsion like?” inquired Mick, with a
+convenient lapse of memory.
+
+“Och, seven or eight shillin’s anyway,” said Paddy, in the tone of one
+to whom shillings had already become trivial coins; “and that, mind you,
+after you’ve ped for the best of aitin’ and dhrinkin’, and your kit
+free, and no call to be spendin’ another penny unless you plase. Sure,
+Long Murphy was tellin’ me he was up in the town awhile ago, on a day
+when they were just after gettin’ their pay, and he said the Post-Office
+was that thick wid the soldier lads sendin’ home the money to their
+friends, he couldn’t get speech of a clerk to buy his stamp be no manner
+of manes, not if he’d wrecked the place. ’T was the Sidmouth Fusileers
+was in at that time; they’re off to Limerick now.”
+
+“But that’s a grand regulation they have,” said Mick, “wid the short
+service nowadays. Where’s the hardship in it when a man can quit at the
+ind of three year, if he’s so plased? Three year’s no time to speak of.”
+
+“Sure, not at all; you’d scarce notice it passin’ by. Like Barney
+Bralligan’s song that finished before it begun--isn’t that the way of
+it, ma’am?”
+
+“It’s a goodish len’th of a while,” said Mrs. Doherty.
+
+“But thin there’s the lave; don’t be forgettin’ the lave, Paddy man.
+Supposin’ we--”
+
+“Tub be sure, there’s the lave. Why, it’s skytin’ home on lave they do
+be most continial. And the Edenderrys is movin’ no farther than just to
+Athlone; that’s as handy a place as you could get.”
+
+“You’d not thravel from this to Athlone in the inside of a week, if it
+was iver so handy,” said Mrs. Doherty.
+
+“Is it a week? Och! blathershins, Mrs. Doherty, ma’am, you’re mistook
+intirely. Sure, onst you’ve stepped into the town yonder, the train’ll
+take you there in a flash. And the trains do be oncommon convenient.”
+
+“Free passes!” prompted Mick.
+
+“Ay, bedad, and free passes they’ll give to any souldier takin’ his
+furlough; so sorra the expense ’t would be supposin’ Mick here had a
+notion to slip home of an odd day and see you.”
+
+“_Mick_!” said Mrs. Doherty.
+
+“Och well, I was just supposin’. But I’m tould”--the many remarkable
+facts which Paddy had been tould lost nothing in repetition--“that
+they’ll sometimes have out a special train for a man in the army, if he
+wants to go anywhere partic’lar in a hurry; there’s iligance for you.
+And as for promotion, it’s that plinty you’ll scarce git time to
+remimber your rank from one day to the next, whether it’s a full private
+you are, or a lance-corporal, or maybe somethin’ greater. Troth, there’s
+nothin’ a man mayn’t rise to. And then, Mrs. Doherty, it’s the proud
+woman you’d be--_anybody’d_ be--that they hadn’t stood in the way of it.
+And pensions--he might be pensioned off wid as much as a couple of
+shillin’s a day.”
+
+“Not this long while yet, plase the pigs,” broke out Mick, squaring his
+shoulders, as if Time were a visible antagonist, and momentarily
+forgetting the matter immediately in hand. “But there’s chances in
+it--splendid--och, it’s somethin’ you may call livin’.”
+
+“And,” said his friend, “the rations, I’m tould, is surprisin’ these
+times. The top of everythin’ that’s to be got, uncooked, widout bone.”
+
+Paddy and Mick discoursed for a good while in this strain about the
+dignities and amenities of a military life, and Mrs. Doherty had not
+much to say on the subject. During the conversation, however, she
+continued to rinse one of her aprons, and wring it dry very carefully,
+and drop it back into the water, like a machine slightly out of gear,
+which goes on repeating some process ineffectually. The two friends read
+in her silence an omen of acquiescent conviction, and congratulated each
+other upon it with furtive nods and winks. Mick went off to the bog in
+high feather, believing that the interview had been a great success, and
+that his mother was, as Paddy put it, “comin’ round to the notion
+gradual, like an ould goat grazin’ round its tetherin’ stump.” His
+hopes, indeed, were so completely in the ascendant that he summed up his
+most serious uneasiness when he said to himself: “She’ll do right
+enough, no fear, or I’d niver think of it, if Thady was just somethin’
+steadier. But sure he might happen to git a thrifle more wit yet; he’s
+no great age to spake of.”
+
+But when he came home about sunsetting, his mother was feeding her few
+hens outside their cabin, the end one of a mossy-roofed row, with its
+door turned at right angles to the others, looking out across the purple
+brown of the bog-land to the far-off hills, faint, like a blue mist with
+a waved pattern in it, against the horizon. Mick, brought up short by
+the group, woke out of his walking dream, in which he had been
+performing acts of valour to the tune of the “Soldier’s Chorus” in
+Gounod’s Faust, the last thing the band had played yesterday; and he
+noticed a diminution in the select circle of fowls, who crooned and
+crawked and pecked round the broken dish of scraps.
+
+“I see the specklety pullet’s after strayin’ on you agin,” he said;
+“herself’s the conthrary little bein’; I must take a look about for her
+prisintly.”
+
+“Ah, sure she’s sold,” said his mother; “it’s too many I had altogether.
+I was torminted thryin’ to git feedin’ for them. So I sold her this
+mornin’ to Mrs. Dunne at Loughmore, that gave me a fine price for her.
+’Deed she’d have took her off of me this while back, on’y I’d just a
+sort of notion agin’ partin’ from the crathur. But be comin’ in to your
+supper, child alive; it’s ready waitin’ this good while. Molly’s below
+at her sister’s, and I dunno were Thady’s off to, so there’s on’y you
+and me in it to-night.”
+
+In the room the more familiar odour of turf-smoke was overborne by a
+crisp smell of baking, and Mrs. Doherty picked up a steaming plate which
+had been keeping warm on the hearth. “Isn’t that somethin’ like, now?”
+she said, setting it on the table triumphantly. “Rale grand they turned
+out this time, niver a scorch on the whole of them. I was afeard me hand
+might maybe ha’ got out o’ mixin’ them, ’t is so long since I had e’er a
+one for you; but sure I bought a half-stone of seconds wid the price of
+the little hin, and that’ll make a good few, so it will, jewel avic, and
+then we must see after some more. Take one of the thick bits, honey.”
+
+Probably most of us have had experience of the unceremonious methods
+which Fate often chooses when communicating to us important
+arrangements. We have seen by what a little seeming triviality of an
+incident she may intimate that our cherished hope has been struck dead,
+or that the execution of some other decree has turned the current of our
+life away. It is sometimes as if she contemptuously sent us a grotesque
+and dwarfish messenger, who makes grimaces at us while telling us the
+bad news, which is ungenerous and scarcely dignified. So we need not
+wonder if Mick Doherty had to read the death-warrant of his darling
+ambition in a pile of three-cornered griddle-cakes. At any rate, he did
+read it there swiftly as clearly. Most likely he knew it all before the
+plate was set on the table, and his heart had already gone down with a
+run when he replied to his mother’s commendations that they looked
+first-rate. As he indorsed this praise with what appetite he could,
+being, indeed, mechanically hungry, the uppermost thought in his mind
+was how he should at once let his mother understand that she had got the
+price she hoped for her pet hen; and after considering for a while, he
+said: “Did you ever notice the quare sort of lane-over the turf-stack
+out there’s takin’ on it? I question hadn’t we done righter to have took
+a leveller bit of ground for under it. But I was thinkin’ this
+mornin’”--of what a different subject he had been thinking!--“that next
+year I’d thry buildin’ it agin’ the back o’ th’ ould shed, where there
+does be ne’er a slant at all.”
+
+“Ay, sure that ’ud be grand,” said Mrs. Doherty, much more elated than
+if she had heard of a large fortune; “you couldn’t find an iliganter
+place for it in the width of this world.” She felt quite satisfied that
+her craftily timed treat had dispelled the dreaded danger, which
+actually was the case in a way. But if Mick would stay at home with her,
+she was perfectly content to suppose that she came after a griddle-cake
+in his estimation. Her relief made her unusually talkative; but Mick was
+reflecting between his answers how he must now tell Paddy Joyce that
+they were never to be comrades after all.
+
+He went out on this mission immediately after supper. The sun had gone
+down, and the cold clearness left showed things plainly, yet was not
+light. In front of the cabin-rows the small children of the place were
+screeching over their final romp and quarrel, as they did every evening;
+fowls and goats and pigs were settling down for the night with the
+squawks and bleats and squeals which also took place every evening; on
+the brown-hollowed grass-bank between Colgan’s and O’Reilly’s, old
+Morissy, the blind fiddler, was feebly scraping and twangling, according
+to his custom every evening, and, for that matter, all day long. Even
+the wisps of straw and scraps of paper blowing down the middle of the
+wide roadway seemed to have whirled over and over and caught in the
+rough patches of stone just so, as often as the sun had set. Close to
+the Joyces’, Mick met Peter Maclean driving home a brood of ducklings. A
+broad and burly man, who says “shoo-shoo” to a high-piping cluster of
+tiny yellow ducks, and flourishes a long willow wand to keep them from
+straggling out of their compacted trot, does undoubtedly present rather
+an absurd appearance; yet I cannot explain why the sight should have
+seemed to prick like a sting through the wide weary disgust which Mick
+experienced as he stood in the twilit boreen waiting for Paddy to come
+out. He had scarcely a grunt to exchange for Peter’s cheerful “Fine
+evenin’.” What does it signify in a universal desert whether evenings be
+fine or foul? Altogether, it was a bad time; and Mick acted wisely in
+taking precautions against its recurrence, especially as the obstacles
+which had confronted him nearly two years back were now more
+hope-baffling than ever. For the intervening months had not brought the
+desirable “thrifle more wit” to his unsteady brother Thady, who, on the
+contrary, was developing into one of those people whose
+good-for-nothingness is taken as a matter of course even by themselves;
+and a bolt was thus, so to speak, drawn across Mick’s locked door.
+
+He set off betimes on his long ramble. It was a cloudless July
+morning--the noon of summer by air and light as well as by the calendar.
+Even the barest tracts of the bog-land, which vary their aspect as
+little as may be from shifting season to season, were flecked with
+golden furze-blossom, and whitened with streaming tufts of fairy-cotton,
+and sun-warmed herbs were fragrant underfoot. Mick rather hurried over
+this stage of his “stravade,” partly because he foresaw a blazing hot
+day, and he wished to be among more broken ground, where there are
+sheltered hollows scooped in the “knockawns,” and cool patches under
+their bushes and boulders. He entered the region of these things before
+his shadow had shrunk to its briefest; for not so very far beyond
+Kilmacrone the smooth floor of the big bog crumples itself into crusts
+and ridges, as if it had caught the trick from its bounding ocean; and
+the nearer it comes to the shore the higher it heaves itself, until at
+last it is cut short by a sheer cliff wall, with storm-stunted brambles
+and furzes cowering along the edge, fathoms above a base-line of
+exuberant weed and foam. The long sea-frontage of this rock-rampart is
+fissured by only a few narrow clefts. On the left hand, facing
+oceanward, the coast is a labyrinth of mountain fiords, straits, and
+bays, where you may see great craggy shoulders and domed summits waver
+in their crystal calm at the flick of a gull’s dipping wing, or add to
+the terror of the tempest as they start out black and unmoved behind
+rifts of swirling mists. On the right there is the same fretwork of land
+and water, but wrought in less high relief--a tract of lonely strands,
+where shells and daisies whiten the grass, and pink-belled creepers
+trail, entangled with tawny-podded wrack, across the shingle. You are
+apt thereabouts to happen on clattering pebble-banks and curling foam
+when you are apparently deep among meadows and corn-land, or to come on
+sturdy green potato-drills round some corner where you had confidently
+supposed the unstable furrows of the sea. And the intricate ground-plan
+of the district must be long studied before you can always feel sure
+whether the low-shelving swarded edges by which you are walking frame
+salt or fresh water.
+
+Mick was bound eventually for one of those ravines which cleave the
+cliffs’ precipitous wall and give access to the shore, generally by a
+deep-sunken sandy boreen. Here, under a tall bank, there are a couple of
+cabins, besides another which, having lost its roof, may be reckoned as
+a half; so that Tullykillagin is not a large place, even as places go in
+its neighbourhood. He knew, however, that he could count upon getting
+something to eat at either of the two cabins first mentioned, and,
+indeed, at the bare-raftered one also, if, as often chanced, it was
+occupied by Tim Fottrel, the gatheremup; and this prospect served for an
+incentive, feeble enough, though it strengthened a little as the hours
+wore on. So languid, in fact, was his resolution that at one moment he
+thought he would just sthreel home again without going any farther; if
+he went aisy everybody would have cleared out of Kilmacrone before he
+got back. But at this time he was sitting among some broom-bushes, under
+which last year’s withered black pods were strewn, and he determined
+that if there were an odd number of seeds in the first one he opened he
+would go on to Tullykillagin. There were nine in it, and he logically
+continued to loiter seaward.
+
+He dawdled so much that when he came to the cliff the sun already hung
+low over the water, and as he walked along the edge his shadow stretched
+away far inland across the dappled pale and dark green of the
+furze-fretted sward. The sea unrolled a ceaseless scroll of faint
+wild-hyacinth colour, on which invisible breeze-wafts inscribed and
+erased mysterious curves and strokes like hieroglyphics. Here and there
+it showed deep purple stains; for a flight of little snowflake clouds
+were fluttering in from the Atlantic, followed at leisure by
+deep-folded, glistering drifts, now massed on the horizon-rim to muffle
+the descending sun. Yet that tide, with all its smoothness, showed a
+broad band of foam wherever it touched the pebbles, which lay dry before
+its sliding, for it was on its way in. It had nearly reached the cliff’s
+foot in most places; but Mick presently came to a point where he looked
+down on a small field of very green grass, set as an oasis between the
+waves and the walling rock, with a miniature chaos of heaped-up boulders
+to left and right. A few of them were scattered over it, and even the
+highest of these wore a scarf of leathery flat sea-ribbon, in token of
+occasional submergence; but amongst them grew hawthorn and sloe bushes,
+and a clump of scarlet-tasselled fuchsia. To heighten the incongruity of
+its aspect, this pasture was inhabited by a large strawberry cow, who
+seemed to be enjoying the alternate mouthfuls of seaweed and woodbine,
+which she munched off a thickly wreathed boulder, untroubled by the fact
+that the meal bade fair to be her last, since the rising spring tide had
+already all but cut off access on either hand, and would still flow for
+some hours.
+
+“Musha, now I’ll be skivered,” said Mick, standing still, “if that’s not
+Joe McEvoy’s ould cow. You’ll be apt to experience a dampin’, ould
+woman, if you don’t quit out of there. Whethen, it’s a quare man he is
+to lave the baste sthrayin’ about permiscuous in the welther of the
+tide.”
+
+He peered over the edge of the cliff, evidently mistrusting its smooth
+face; and then he threw several stones and clods at the cow, with shouts
+of “Hi, out of that!” and “Shoo along!” But his missiles fell short of
+their mark, and if his voice reached her, she treated it with the placid
+disregard of which her kind are mistress on such occasions, and never
+raised her crumple-horned head.
+
+“Have it your own way, then,” said Mick, cynically; “it’s nothin’ to me
+if you’ve a mind to thry a taste of swimmin’ under wather.”
+
+He had not, however, strolled much farther when he met with somebody who
+was vastly more concerned about the animal’s impending fate. This was
+old Joe McEvoy himself, who, out of the mouth of a steep, sandy boreen,
+sprang up suddenly, like a jack-fn-the-box-one of the shock-wigged,
+saturnine-complexioned pattern. But no jack-in-the-box could have looked
+so flurriedly distracted, or have muttered to itself such queer
+execrations as he did, hobbling along.
+
+“A year’s loadin’ of bad luck to the whoule of thim!” he was saying with
+gasps when Mick approached; “there’s not a one of thim but ’ud do
+desthruction on herself sooner than lose a chanst to be annoyin’
+anybody, if she could conthrive it no other way.”
+
+“If it’s th’ ould cow you’re cursin’,” said Mick, “she’s down below
+yonder.”
+
+“Och, tell me somethin’ I dunno, you gomeral, not but what I’m nigh as
+big a one meself as can be, to go thrust her wid that little imp of
+mischief. Bad scran to it, I must give me stiff leg a rest, and she’ll
+be up here blatherin’ after me before you can look round, you may bet
+your brogues she will.”
+
+“Gomeral yourself and save your penny,” said Mick, whose temper was not
+at its best after his long day of hungry discontent. “And the divil a
+call you have to be onaisy about the crathur follyin’ you anywheres.
+Stayin’ where she is she’s apt to be, until she gets the chanst of goin’
+out to say wid the turn of the tide, and that’s like enough to happen
+her.”
+
+“And who at all was talkin’ of the cow follyin’? It’s ould Biddy Duggan
+down below that nivir has her tongue off of me, nagglin’ at me for
+lettin’ the poor crathur pick her bit along the beach, and it a strip of
+the finest grass in the townland, when it’s above wather, just goin’ to
+loss. A couple of pints differ extry it does be makin’ in the milkin’ of
+a day she’s grazed there. But it’s threatenin’ dhrowndin’ and
+disthruction over it th’ ould banshee is this great while; and plased
+she’ll be, rale plased and sot up. Sure, that’s what goes agin’ me, to
+be so far gratifyin’ her, and herself as mischevious, harm-hopin’ an
+ould toad as iver I hated the sight of--Och, bejabers, didn’t I tell you
+so? It’s herself comin’ gabble-gobblin’ up.”
+
+As he spoke, a very small, meagre, raggged old woman emerged swiftly
+from the lane, accompanied by one younger and stouter and less nimble of
+foot, her temporary neighbour, Mrs. Gatheremup. Mrs. Duggan seemed to
+bear out Joe’s character of her; for now, like Spenser’s hag Occasion,
+“ever as she went her tongue did walk,” and the path it took was not one
+of peace. “Maybe, after this happenin’, some she could name might have
+the wit to believe what other people tould thim, who knew bitter than to
+be thinkin’ to feed a misfortnit crathur of an ould cow on sand and
+sayweed as if she was a sayl or a saygull, and it a scandal to the place
+to behould her foostherin’ along down there wid the waves’ edges
+slitherin’ up to her nose, and she sthrivin’ to graze, and the slippery
+stones fit to break her neck.” Such was the purport of Mrs. Duggan’s
+remarks, which were punctuated by Joe McEvoy’s peremptory requests that
+she would lave gabbin’ and givin’ impidence, and his appeals to the
+others to inform him whether they weren’t all to be pitied for havin’ to
+put up wid the ould screech-owl’s foolish talk.
+
+“Sure, that’s the way they do be keepin’ it up continial, Micky lad,”
+Mrs. Fottrel called to him, shrilly, as if athwart gusts of high wind.
+“I’ll pass yon me word the two of thim ’ll stand at their doors of an
+evenin” and give bad langwidge to aich other across the breadth of the
+road till they have us all fairly moidhered wid the bawls of thim, and I
+on’y wonder the thatch doesn’t take and slip down on their ould heads.”
+
+“Belike it’s lave of the likes of _you_ I ought to be axin’ where I’m to
+git grazin’ for me own cattle?” a growl of sarcastic thunder was just
+then observing, to which flashed a scathing response: “And, bedad, then,
+it’s lave you had a right to be axin’ afore you sent off me poor son
+Hughey’s bit of a Pat, to be wastin’ his time mindin’ your ould
+scarecrow and gettin’ himself dhrownded in the tide. It’s no thanks to
+you if the innicent child isn’t as like as not lyin’ this minute under
+six fut of could wather, instead of fetchin’ me in the full of me kettle
+that I’m roarin’ to him for this half-hour, and niver a livin’ sinner
+widin sight or--”
+
+“Saints above! is little Pat strayin’ along wid the cow?” said Mrs.
+Fottrel, much aghast. “I was noticin’ I didn’t see him anywheres this
+evenin’. What’s to become of him down there, and it risin’ beyond the
+heighth of iverythin’ as fast as it can flow? Sure, this mornin’ ’t was
+wallopin’ itself agin’ the wall, back of our place, fit to swally all
+before it.”
+
+“Why didn’t you tell me the child was below?” said Mick. “I’d lep down
+there and fetch him up aisy enough; on’y there was no mortial use goin’
+after the cow, for niver a crathur that took its stand on four hoofs ’ud
+git its own len’th up the cliff, unless it might be some little divil of
+a goat. And the wather’s dhrowndin’-deep alongside it afore now.”
+
+“Musha, good gracious! sure, all I done was to bid the spalpeen be
+keepin’ an eye on her now and agin while he would be playin’ about
+there,” said Joe; “and it’s twinty chances if ivir he did at all.
+Trapesed off wid himself somewheres; he’ll be right enough be this time.
+’T is n’t the likes of him to go to loss, it’s the quare five-poun’ note
+he’d fetch at Athenry fair.”
+
+“He might ha’ broke his legs climbin’ disp’rit on the rocks,” said Mrs.
+Fottrel, unconvinced by the argument from unsaleability,” and be lyin’
+there now waitin’ for the say-waves to wash the life out of him. Heaven
+pity the crathur!”
+
+“Sure, I’ll step down and see what’s gone wid him,” said Mick.
+
+The descent of the cliff, though not riskless, was no great feat for an
+active youth, and Mick accomplished it safely, but to little purpose, he
+thought at first, since the irreclaimable cow appeared to be the sole
+denizen of the shrinking beach. However, when he had shouted and
+scrambled for some time without result, he came abruptly upon a nook
+among the piled-up rocks, where a very small black-headed boy in
+tattered petticoats was digging the sandy floor with a razor-shell.
+
+“Och, it’s there you are,” said Mick, stepping down from a weedy ledge;
+“and what have you in it at all that you didn’t hear me bawlin’ to you?”
+
+“Throops,” said Pat, gloatingly, almost too absorbed t o glance off his
+work; “it’s Ballyclavvy, the way it did be in the school readin’-book at
+Duffclane. There’s the Roossian guns” (he pointed to a row of
+black-mouthed mussel-shells, mounted on periwinkle carriages), “and
+here’s the sides of the valley I’m makin’; long and narrer it was. Just
+step round and look at it from where I am, Micky, but don’t be clumpin’
+your fut on the French cavalary.”
+
+“The divil’s in it all,” said Mick, with a sudden bitter vehemence,
+which he accounted for to himself by adding, as he pointed toward the
+seething white line: “D’ you see where that’s come to, you little
+bosthoon? And you sittin’ grubbin’ away here as if you were
+pitaty-diggin’ a dozen mile inland.”
+
+Pat looked in the desired direction, but misapprehended the object to be
+the western sky, where an overblown fiery rose seemed to have scattered
+all its petals broadcast. “Sure, that’s on’y the sun settin’ red like,”
+he explained, indifferently, and would have resumed his excavations if
+he had not been seized and hustled half-way up the cliff before he could
+disengage his mind from his brigades and batteries. Both heads soon
+bobbed up over the edge without accident; for Pat climbed like a monkey
+when once he had grasped the situation. His grandmother’s attitude
+toward Joe McEvoy constrained her to receive him effusively as prey
+snatched from the foaming jaws of death; but it was out of Mrs.
+Fottrel’s pocket that a peppermint-drop came to sweetly seal his new
+lease of life.
+
+“And what are you after now, Mick?” she said, observing that, instead of
+drawing himself up to level ground, he stood poised on an uncomfortable
+perch, and looked back the steep way he had come.
+
+“I’m thinkin’ to slip down agin,” he said, “and see if be any manner of
+manes I could huroosha th’ ould baste round the rocks yonder. The wather
+mightn’t be altogither too deep there yit; at all evints, she’s between
+the divil and the deep say where she is now; it’s just a chanst.”
+
+“Sorra a much,” said Joe, disconsolately; “scarce worth breakin’ your
+bones after, any way.”
+
+“Bones, how are you? Sure, there’s no call to be breakin’ bones in the
+matter,” said Mick, beginning to descend. This was true enough, if he
+had minded what he was about; but then he did not. So far from it, he
+was saying to himself, “One ’ud ha’ thought now she might ha’ took a
+sort of pride in it,” when the bottom of the world seemed to drop away
+from under his feet, and his irrelevant meditations ended in a
+shattering thud down on the rocky pavement a long way below. He never
+heard the shouts and shrieks which the incident occasioned above his
+head. Once only he became dimly conscious of a quivering network of
+prismatic flashes, which he could not see through, and a booming throb
+in his ears, which made him murmur dazedly: “Wirra, I thought I’d got
+beyond hearin’ of them drums.” In another moment: “What’s took me?” he
+said, with a start. But the depths he sank among remain always dark and
+silent.
+
+Next day messengers from Tullykillagin told Mrs. Doherty that the Lord
+had “took” her son Mick, and that “he had gone out to say wid the tide,
+before they could get anybody to him, and there was no tellin’ where he
+might be swep’ up, if ever he came to shore at all.”
+
+“And the quarest part of it was that Joe McEvoy’s ould cow that he went
+after had legged herself up, somehow, on the rocks out of reach, and
+niver a harm on her when they found her in the mornin’. But she’d been
+all of a could quiver ever since, and himself doubted if she’d rightly
+git over it--might the divil mend her, and she after bein’ the death of
+a fine young man. Sure, every sowl up at Tullykillagin was rale annoyed
+about it. Even ould Biddy Duggan, that was as cross-tempered as a
+weasel, did be frettin’ for the lad; and Joe McEvoy was sittin’ crooched
+like an ould wet hen, over his fire block out, that he hadn’t the heart
+to be lightin’.”
+
+Mrs. Doherty said she didn’t know what talk they had of the Lord and the
+say and the ould cow; but she’d known well enough the way it was when
+Mick niver come home last night. He’d just took off after the souldiers,
+as he’d a great notion one time.
+
+She was, as may have been observed, rather a dull-witted woman, and
+proportionately hard to convince against her will.
+
+“A great notion intirely,” she said; “on’y she’d scarce have thought
+he’d go do such a thing on her in airnest. And I runnin’ away indoors
+yisterday out of the heighth of the divarsion, when the band-music was a
+thrate to be hearin’, just to see his bit of supper wouldn’t be late on
+him. And the grand little pitaty-cake I had for him; I may be throwin’
+it to the hins now, unless Molly might fancy a bit; for we’ll not be apt
+to set eyes on him this three year. Och, wirra! and he that contint at
+home, and niver a word out of him about the souldierin’ this long while.
+If it had been poor Thady itself, ’t would ha’ been diff’rint; but
+Mick--I’d scarce ha’ thought it of him; for he’d a dale of good-nature,
+Mrs. Geoghegan, ma’am.”
+
+“He had so, tub-be sure, woman dear,” said Mrs. Geoghegan, “or he might
+be sittin’ warm in here this minnit.”
+
+“The back of me hand to thim blamed ould throopers,” said Mrs. Doherty,
+“that sets the lads wild wid their thrampin’ around.”
+
+“Poor Mick would be better wid them than where he is now--God have mercy
+on his soul!” said a neighbour, solemnly.
+
+But Mick’s mother continued to bewail herself: “And I missin’ the best
+of all the tunes they played, so Molly was tellin’ me, for ’fraid he’d
+be kep’ waitin’ for his supper, and he comin’ home to me hungry; and
+now--There’s a terrible len’th of time in three year. I wouldn’t ha’
+believed he’d ha’ done it on me.”
+
+
+
+
+THE RIVAL DREAMERS
+
+BY JOHN BANIM
+
+
+Mr. Washington Irving has already given to the public a version of an
+American legend, which, in a principal feature, bears some likeness to
+the following transcript of a popular Irish one. It may, however, be
+interesting to show this very coincidence between the descendants of a
+Dutch transatlantic colony and the native peasantry of Ireland, in the
+superstitious annals of both. Our tale, moreover, will be found original
+in all its circumstances, that alluded to only excepted.
+
+Shamus Dempsey returned a silent, plodding, sorrowful man, though a
+young one, to his poor home, after seeing laid in the grave his aged,
+decrepit father. The last rays of the setting sun were glorious,
+shooting through the folds of their pavilion of scarlet clouds; the last
+song of the thrush, chanted from the bough nearest to his nest, was
+gladdening; the abundant though but half-matured crops around breathed
+of hope for the future. But Shamus’s bosom was covered with the darkness
+that inward sunshine alone can illumine. The chord that should respond
+to song and melody had snapped in it; for him the softly undulating
+fields of light-green wheat, or the silken-surfaced patches of barley,
+made a promise in vain. He was poor, penniless, friendless, and yet
+groaning under responsibilities; worn out by past and present suffering,
+and without a consoling prospect. His father’s corpse had just been
+buried by a subscription among his neighbours, collected in an old
+glove, a penny or a half-penny from each, by the most active of the
+humble community to whom his sad state was a subject of pity. In the
+wretched shed which he called “home,” a young wife lay on a truss of
+straw, listening to the hungry cries of two little children, and
+awaiting her hour to become the weeping mother of a third. And the
+recollection that but for an act of domestic treachery experienced by
+his father and himself, both would have been comfortable and respectable
+in the world, aggravated the bitterness of the feeling in which Shamus
+contemplated his lot. He could himself faintly call to mind a time of
+early childhood, when he lived with his parents in a roomy house, eating
+and sleeping and dressing well, and surrounded by servants and workmen;
+he further remembered that a day of great affliction came, upon which
+strange and rude persons forced their way into the house; and, for some
+cause his infant observation did not reach, father, servants, and
+workmen (his mother had just died) were all turned out upon the road and
+doomed to seek the shelter of a mean roof. But his father’s discourse,
+since he gained the years of manhood, supplied Shamus with an
+explanation of all these circumstances, as follows.
+
+Old Dempsey had been the youngest son of a large farmer, who divided his
+lands between two elder children, and destined Shamus’s father to the
+Church, sending him abroad for education, and, during its course,
+supplying him with liberal allowances. Upon the eve of ordination the
+young student returned home to visit his friends; was much noticed by
+neighbouring small gentry of each religion; at the house of one of the
+opposite persuasion from his met a sister of the proprietor, who had a
+fortune in her own right; abandoned his clerical views for her smiles;
+eloped with her; married her privately; incurred thereby the irremovable
+hostility of his own family; but, after a short time, was received,
+along with his wife, by his generous brother-in-law, under whose
+guidance both became reputably settled in the house to which Shamus’s
+early recollections pointed and where, till he was about six years old,
+he passed indeed a happy childhood.
+
+But, a little previous to this time, his mother’s good brother died
+unmarried, and was succeeded by another of her brothers, who had
+unsuccessfully spent half his life as a lawyer in Dublin, and who,
+inheriting little of his predecessor’s amiable character, soon showed
+himself a foe to her and her husband, professedly on account of her
+marriage with a Roman Catholic. He did not appear to their visit,
+shortly after his arrival in their neighbourhood, and he never
+condescended to return it. The affliction experienced by his sensitive
+sister from his conduct entailed upon her a premature accouchement, in
+which, giving birth to a lifeless babe, she unexpectedly died. The event
+was matter of triumph rather than of sorrow to her unnatural brother.
+For, in the first place, totally unguarded against the sudden result,
+she had died intestate; in the next place, he discovered that her
+private marriage had been celebrated by a Roman Catholic priest,
+consequently could not, according to law, hold good; and again, could
+not give to her nominal husband any right to her property, upon which
+both had hitherto lived, and which was now the sole means of existence
+to Shamus’s father.
+
+The lawyer speedily set to work upon these points, and with little
+difficulty succeeded in supplying for Shamus’s recollections a day of
+trouble, already noticed. In fact, his father and he, now without a
+shilling, took refuge in a distant cabin, where, by the sweat of his
+parent’s brow, as a labourer in the fields, the ill-fated hero of this
+story was scantily fed and clothed, until maturer years enabled him to
+relieve the old man’s hand of the spade and sickle, and in turn labour
+for their common wants.
+
+Shamus, becoming a little prosperous in the funeral we now see Shamus
+returning, and to such a home does he bend his heavy steps.
+
+If to know that the enemy of his father and mother did not thrive on the
+spoils of his oppression could have yielded Shamus any consolation in
+his lot, he had long ago become aware of circumstances calculated to
+give this negative comfort. His maternal uncle enjoyed, indeed, his
+newly acquired property only a few years after it came into his
+possession. Partly on account of his cruelty to his relations, partly
+from a meanness and vulgarity of character, which soon displayed itself
+in his novel situation, and which, it was believed, had previously kept
+him in the lowest walks of his profession as a Dublin attorney, he found
+himself neglected and shunned by the gentry of his neighbourhood. To
+grow richer than those who thus insulted him, to blazon abroad reports
+of his wealth, and to watch opportunities of using it to their injury,
+became the means of revenge adopted by the parvenu. His legitimate
+income not promising a rapid accomplishment of this plan, he ventured,
+using precautions that seemingly set suspicion at defiance, to engage in
+smuggling-adventures on a large scale, for which his proximity to the
+coast afforded a local opportunity. Notwithstanding all his pettifogging
+cleverness, the ex-attorney was detected, however, in his illegal
+traffic, and fined to an amount which swept away half his real property.
+Driven to desperation by the publicity of his failure, as well as by the
+failure itself, he tried another grand effort to retrieve his fortune;
+was again surprised by the revenue officers; in a personal struggle with
+them, at the head of his band, killed one of their body; immediately
+absconded from Ireland; for the last twenty years had not been
+authentically heard of, but, it was believed, lived under an assumed
+name in London, deriving an obscure existence from some mean pursuit, of
+which the very nature enabled him to gratify propensities to drunkenness
+and other vices, learned during his first career in life.
+
+All this Shamus knew, though only from report, inasmuch as his uncle had
+exiled himself while he was yet a child, and without previously having
+become known to the eyes of the nephew he had so much injured. But if
+Shamus occasionally drew a bitter and almost savage gratification from
+the downfall of his inhuman persecutor, no recurrence to the past could
+alleviate the misery of his present situation.
+
+He passed under one of the capacious open arches of the old abbey, and
+then entered his squalid shed reared against its wall, his heart as
+shattered and as trodden down as the ruins around him. No words of
+greeting ensued between him and his equally hopeless wife, as she sat on
+the straw of her bed, rocking to sleep, with feeble and mournful cries,
+her youngest infant. He silently lighted a fire of withered twigs on his
+ready-furnished hearthstone; put to roast among their embers a few
+potatoes which he had begged during the day; divided them between her
+and her crying children; and, as the moon rising high in the heavens
+warned him that night asserted her full empire over the departed day,
+Shamus sank down upon the couch from which his father’s mortal remains
+had lately been borne, supperless himself, and dinnerless, too, but not
+hungry; at least not conscious or recollecting that he was.
+
+His wife and little ones soon slept soundly, but Shamus lay for hours
+inaccessible to nature’s claims for sleep as well as for food. From
+where he lay he could see, through the open front of his shed, out into
+the ruins abroad. After much abstraction in his own thoughts, the
+silence, the extent, and the peculiar desolation of the scene, almost
+spiritualised by the magic effect of alternate moonshine and darkness,
+of objects and of their parts, at last diverted his mind, though not to
+relieve it. He remembered distinctly, for the first time, where he
+was--an intruder among the dwellings of the dead; he called to mind,
+too, that the present was their hour for revealing themselves among the
+remote loneliness and obscurity of their crumbling and intricate abode.
+As his eye fixed upon a distant stream of cold light or of blank shadow,
+either the wavering of some feathery herbage from the walls or the
+flitting of some night-bird over the roofless aisle, made motion which
+went and came during the instant of his alarmed start, or else some
+disembodied sleeper around had challenged and evaded his vision so
+rapidly as to baffle even the accompaniment of thought. Shamus would,
+however, recur, during these entrancing aberrations, to his more real
+causes for terror; and he knew not, and to this day cannot distinctly
+tell, whether he waked or slept, when a new circumstance absorbed his
+attention. The moon struck fully, under his propped roof, upon the
+carved slab he had appropriated as a hearthstone; and turning his eye to
+the spot, he saw the semblance of a man advanced in years, though not
+very old, standing motionless, and very steadfastly regarding him. The
+still face of the figure shone like marble in the night-beam, without
+giving any idea of the solidity of that material; the long and deep
+shadows thrown by the forehead over the eyes left those unusally
+expressive features vague and uncertain. Upon the head was a
+close-fitting black cap, the dress was a loose-sleeved, plaited garment
+of white, descending to the ground, and faced and otherwise checkered
+with black, and girded round the loins; exactly the costume which Shamus
+had often studied in a little framed and glazed print, hung up in the
+sacristy of the humble chapel recently built in the neighbourhood of the
+ruin by a few descendants of the great religious fraternity to whom, in
+its day of pride, the abbey had belonged. As he returned very
+inquisitively, though, as he avers, not now in alarm, the fixed gaze of
+his midnight visitor, a voice reached him, and he heard these strange
+words:
+
+“Shamus Dempsey, go to London Bridge, and you will be a rich man.”
+
+“How will that come about, your reverence?” cried Shamus, jumping up
+from the straw.
+
+But the figure was gone; and stumbling among the black embers on the
+remarkable place where it had stood, he fell prostrate, experiencing a
+change of sensation and of observance of objects around, which might be
+explained by supposing a transition from a sleeping to a waking state of
+mind.
+
+The rest of the night he slept little, thinking of the advice he had
+received, and of the mysterious personage who gave it. But he resolved
+to say nothing about his vision, particularly to his wife, lest, in her
+present state of health, the frightful story might distress her; and, as
+to his own conduct respecting it, he determined to be guided by the
+future; in fact, he would wait to see if his counsellor came again. He
+did come again, appearing in the same spot at the same hour of the
+night, and wearing the same dress, though not the same expression of
+feature; for the shadowy brows now slightly frowned, and a little
+severity mingled with the former steadfastness of look.
+
+“Shamus Dempsey, why have you not gone to London Bridge, and your wife
+so near the time when she will want what you are to get by going there?
+Remember, this is my second warning.”
+
+“Musha, your reverence, an’ what am I to do on Lunnon Bridge?”
+
+Again he rose to approach the figure; again it eluded him. Again a
+change occurred in the quality of the interest with which he regarded
+the admonition of his visitor. Again he passed a day of doubt as to the
+propriety of undertaking what seemed to him little less than a journey
+to the world’s end, without a penny in his pocket, and upon the eve of
+his wife’s accouchement, merely in obedience to a recommendation which,
+according to his creed, was not yet sufficiently strongly given, even
+were it under any circumstances to be adopted. For Shamus had often
+heard, and firmly believed, that a dream or a vision instructing one how
+to procure riches ought to be experienced three times before it became
+entitled to attention.
+
+He lay down, however, half hoping that his vision might thus recommend
+itself to his notice It did so.
+
+“Shamus Dempsey,” said the figure, looking more angry than ever, “you
+have not yet gone to London Bridge, although I hear your wife dying out
+to bid you go. And, remember, this s my third warning.”
+
+“Why, then, tundher an’ ouns, your reverence, just stop and tell me-“
+
+Ere he could utter another word the holy visitant disappeared, in a real
+passion at Shamus’s qualified curse; and at the same moment his confused
+senses recognised the voice of his wife, sending up from her straw
+pallet the cries that betoken a mother’s distant travail. Exchaning a
+few words with her, he hurried away. professedly call up, at her cabin
+window, an old crane who sometimes attended the very poorest women in
+Nance Dempsey’s situation.
+
+“Hurry to her, Noreen, acuishla, and do the best it’s the will of God to
+let you do. And tell her from me, Noreen--” He stopped, drawing in his
+lip, and clutching his cudgel hard.
+
+“Shamus, what ails you, avick?” asked old Noreen; “what ails you, to
+make the tears run down in the gray o’ the morning?”
+
+“Tell her from me,” continued Shamus, “that it’s from the bottom o’ the
+heart I’ll pray, morning and evening, and fresh and fasting, maybe, to
+give her a good time of it; and to show her a face on the poor child
+that’s coming, likelier than the two that God sent afore it. And that
+I’ll be thinking o’ picturing it to my own mind, though I’ll never see
+it far away.”
+
+“Musha, Shamus, what are you speaking of?”
+
+“No Matter, Noreen, only God be wid you, and wid her, and wid the
+weenocks; and tell her what I bid you. More-be-token, tell her that poor
+Shamus quits her in her throuble wid more love from the heart out than
+he had for her the first day we came together; and I’ll come back to her
+at any rate, sooner or later, richer or poorer, or as bare as I went;
+and maybe not so bare either. But God only knows. The top o’ the morning
+to you, Noreen, and don’t let her want the mouthful o’ praties while I’m
+on my thravels. For this,” added Shamus, as he bounded off, to the
+consternation of old Noreen--“this is the very morning and the very
+minute that, if I mind the dhrame at all at all, I ought to mind it; ay,
+without ever turning back to get a look from her, that ’ud kill the
+heart in my body entirely.”
+
+Without much previous knowledge of the road he was to take, Shamus
+walked and begged his way along the coast to the town where he might
+hope to embark for England. Here the captain of a merchantman agreed to
+let him work his passage to Bristol, whence he again walked and begged
+into London.
+
+Without taking rest or food, Shamus proceeded to London Bridge, often
+put out of his course by wrong directions, and as often by forgetting
+and misconceiving true ones. It was with old London Bridge that Shamus
+had to do (not the old one last pulled down, but its more reverend
+predecessor), which, at that time, was lined at either side by quaintly
+fashioned houses, mostly occupied by shopkeepers, so that the space
+between presented perhaps the greatest thoroughfare then known in the
+Queen of Cities. And at about two o’clock in the afternoon, barefooted,
+ragged, fevered, and agitated, Shamus mingled with the turbid human
+stream, that roared and chafed over the as restless and as evanescent
+stream which buffeted the arches of old London Bridge. In a situation so
+novel to him, so much more extraordinary in the reality than his
+anticipation could have fancied, the poor and friendless stranger felt
+overwhelmed. A sense of forlornness, of insignificance, and of terror
+seized upon his faculties. From the stare or the sneers or the jostle of
+the iron-nerved crowd he shrank with glances of wild timidity, and with
+a heart as wildly timid as were his looks. For some time he stood or
+staggered about, unable to collect his thoughts, or to bring to mind
+what was his business there. But when Shamus became able to refer to the
+motive of his pauper journey from his native solitudes into the thick of
+such a scene, it was no wonder that the zeal of superstition totally
+subsided amid the astounding truths he witnessed. In fact, the
+bewildered simpleton now regarded his dream as the merest chimera.
+Hastily escaping from the thoroughfare, he sought out some wretched
+place of repose suited to his wretched condition, and there mooned
+himself asleep, in self-accusations at the thought of poor Nance at
+home, and in utter despair of all his future prospects.
+
+At daybreak the next morning he awoke, a little less agitated, but still
+with no hope. He was able, however, to resolve upon the best course of
+conduct now left open to him; and he arranged immediately to retrace his
+steps to Ireland, as soon as he should have begged sufficient alms to
+speed him a mile on the road. With this intent he hastily issued forth,
+preferring to challenge the notice of chance passengers, even at the
+early hour of dawn, than to venture again, in the middle of the day,
+among the dreaded crowds of the vast city. Very few, indeed, were the
+passers-by whom Shamus met during his straggling and stealthy walk
+through the streets, and those of a description little able or willing
+to afford a half-penny to his humbled, whining suit, and to his spasmed
+lip and watery eye. In what direction he went Shamus did not know; but
+at last he found himself entering upon the scene of his yesterday’s
+terror. Now, however, it presented nothing to renew its former
+impression. The shops at the sides of the bridge were closed, and the
+occasional stragglers of either sex who came along inspired Shamus,
+little as he knew of a great city, with aversion rather than with dread.
+In the quietness and security of his present position, Shamus was both
+courageous and weak enough again to summon up his dream.
+
+“Come,” he said, “since I _am_ on Lunnon Bridge, I’ll walk over every
+stone of it, and see what good that will do.”
+
+He valiantly gained the far end. Here one house, of all that stood upon
+the bridge, began to be opened; it was a public-house, and, by a
+sidelong glance as he passed, Shamus thought that, in the person of a
+red-cheeked, red-nosed, sunken-eyed, elderly man, who took down the
+window-shutters, he recognised the proprietor. This person looked at
+Shamus, in return, with peculiar scrutiny. The wanderer liked neither
+his regards nor the expression of his countenance, and quickened his
+steps onward until he cleared the bridge.
+
+“But I’ll walk it over at the other side now,” he bethought, after
+allowing the publican time to finish opening his house and retire out of
+view.
+
+But, repassing the house, the man still appeared, leaning against his
+door-jamb, and as if waiting for Shamus’s return, whom, upon this second
+occasion, he eyed more attentively than before.
+
+“Sorrow’s in him,” thought Shamus, “have I two heads on me, that I’m
+such a sight to him? But who cares about his pair of ferret eyes? I’ll
+thrudge down the middle stone of it, at any rate!”
+
+Accordingly, he again walked toward the public-house, keeping the middle
+of the bridge.
+
+“Good-morrow, friend,” said the publican, as Shamus a third time passed
+his door.
+
+“Sarvant kindly, sir,” answered Shamus, respectfully pulling down the
+brim of his hat, and increasing his pace.
+
+“Am early hour you choose for a morning walk,” continued his new
+acquaintance.
+
+“Brave and early, faix, sir,” said Shamus, still hurrying off.
+
+“Stop a bit,” resumed the publican. Shamus stood still. “I see you’re a
+countryman of mine--an Irishman; I’d know one of you at a look, though
+I’m a long time out of the country. And you’re not very well off on
+London Bridge this morning, either.”
+
+“No, indeed, sir,” replied Shamus, beginning to doubt his skill in
+physiognomy, at the stranger’s kind address; “but as badly off as a body
+’ud wish to be.”
+
+“Come over to look for the work?”
+
+“Nien, sir; but come out this morning to beg a ha’-penny, to send me a
+bit of the road home.”
+
+“Well, here’s a silver sixpence without asking. And you’d better sit on
+the bench by the door here, and eat a crust and a cut of cheese, and
+drink a drop of good ale, to break your fast.”
+
+With profuse thanks Shamus accepted this kind invitation, blaming
+himself at heart for having allowed his opinion of the charitable
+publican to be guided by the expression of the man’s features. “Handsome
+is that handsome does,” was Shamus’s self-correcting reflection.
+
+While eating his bread and cheese and drinking his strong ale, they
+conversed freely together, and Shamus’s heart opened more and more to
+his benefactor. The publican repeatedly asked him what had brought him
+to London; and though, half out of prudence and half out of shame, the
+dreamer at first evaded the question, he felt it at last impossible to
+refuse a candid answer to his generous friend.
+
+“Why, then, sir, only I am such a big fool for telling it to you, it’s
+what brought me to Lunnon Bridge was a quare dhrame I had at home in
+Ireland, that tould me just to come here, and I’d find a pot of goold.”
+For such was the interpretation given by Shamus to the vague admonition
+of his visionary counsellor.
+
+His companion burst into a loud laugh, saying after it:
+
+“Pho, pho, man, don’t be so silly as to put faith in nonsensical dreams
+of that kind. Many a one like it I have had, if I would bother my head
+with them. Why, within the last ten days, while you were dreaming of
+finding a pot of gold on London Bridge, I was dreaming of finding a pot
+of gold in Ireland.”
+
+“Ullaloo, and were you, sir?” asked Shamus, laying down his empty pint.
+
+“Ay, indeed; night after night an old friar with a pale face, and
+dressed all in white and black, and a black skull-cap on his head, came
+to me in a dream, and bid me go to Ireland, to a certain spot in a
+certain county that I know very well, and under the slab of his tomb,
+that has a cross and some old Romish letters on it, in an old abbey I
+often saw before now, I’d find a treasure that would make me a rich man
+all the days of my life.”
+
+“Musha, sir,” asked Shamus, scarce able prudently to control his
+agitation,” and did he tell you that the treasure lay buried there ever
+so long under the open sky and the ould walls?”
+
+“No; but he told me I was to find the slab covered in by a shed that a
+poor man had lately built inside the abbey for himself and his family.”
+
+“Whoo, by the powers!” shouted Shamus, at last thrown off his guard by
+the surpassing joy derived from this intelligence, as well as by the
+effects of the ale; and at the same time he jumped up, cutting a caper
+with his legs, and flourishing his shillalah.
+
+“Why, what’s the matter with you?” asked his friend, glancing at him a
+frowning and misgiving look.
+
+“We ax pardon, sir.” Shamus rallied his prudence. “An’, sure, sorrow a
+thing is the matter wid me, only the dhrop, I believe, made me do it, as
+it ever and always does, good luck to it for the same. An’ isn’t what we
+were spaking about the biggest raumaush [Footnote: Nonsense.] undher the
+sun, sir? Only it’s the laste bit in the world quare to me how you’d
+have the dhrame about your own country, that you didn’t see for so many
+years, sir--for twenty long years, I think you said, sir?” Shamus had
+now a new object in putting his sly question.
+
+“If I said so, I forgot,” answered the publican, his suspicions of
+Shamus at an end. “But it is about twenty years, indeed, since I left
+Ireland.”
+
+“And by your speech, sir, and your dacency, I’ll engage you were in a
+good way in the poor place afore you left it?”
+
+“You guess correctly, friend.” (The publican gave way to vanity.)
+“Before misfortunes came over me, I possessed, along with a good hundred
+acres besides, the very ground that the old ruin I saw in the foolish
+dream I told you stands upon.”
+
+“An’ so did my curse-o’-God’s uncle,” thought Shamus, his heart’s blood
+beginning to boil, though, with a great effort, he kept himself
+seemingly cool. “And this is the man fornent me, if he answers another
+word I’ll ax him. Faix, sir, and sure that makes your dhrame quarer than
+ever; and the ground the ould abbey is on, sir, and the good acres round
+it, did you say they lay somewhere in the poor county myself came from?”
+
+“What county is that, friend?” demanded the publican, again with a
+studious frown.
+
+“The ould County Monaghan, sure, sir,” replied Shamus, very
+deliberately.
+
+“No, but the county of Clare,” answered his companion.
+
+“Was it?” screamed Shamus, again springing up. The cherished hatred of
+twenty years imprudently bursting out, his uncle lay stretched at his
+feet, after a renewed flourish of his cudgel. “And do you know who you
+are telling it to this morning? Did you ever hear that the sisther you
+kilt left a bit of a gorsoon behind her, that one day or other might
+overhear you? Ay,” he continued, keeping down the struggling man, “_It
+is_ poor Shamus Dempsey that’s kneeling by you; ay, and that has more to
+tell you. The shed built over the old friar’s tombstone was built by the
+hands you feel on your throttle, and that tombstone is his hearthstone;
+and,” continued Shamus, beginning to bind the prostrate man with a rope
+snatched from a bench near them, “while you lie here awhile, an’ no one
+to help you, in the cool of the morning, I’ll just take a start of you
+on the road home, to lift the flag and get the threasure; and follow me
+if you dare! You know there’s good money bid for your head in
+Ireland--so here goes. Yes, faith, and wid this-_this_ to help me on the
+way!” He snatched up a heavy purse which had fallen from his uncle’s
+pocket in the struggle. “And sure, there’s neither hurt nor harm in
+getting back a little of a body’s own from you. A bright goodmorning,
+uncle dear!”
+
+Shamus dragged his manacled relative into the shop, quickly shut to and
+locked the door, flung the key over the house into the Thames, and the
+next instant was running at headlong speed.
+
+He was not so deficient in the calculations of common sense as to think
+himself yet out of his uncle’s power. It appeared, indeed, pretty
+certain that, neither for the violence done to his person nor for the
+purse appropriated by his nephew, the outlawed murderer would raise a
+hue and cry after one who, aware of his identity, could deliver him up
+to the laws of his country. But Shamus felt certain that it would be a
+race between him and his uncle for the treasure that lay under the
+friar’s tombstone. His simple nature supplied no stronger motive for a
+pursuit on the part of a man whose life now lay in the breath of his
+mouth. Full of his conviction, however, Shamus saw he had not a moment
+to lose until the roof of his shed in the old abbey again sheltered him.
+So, freely making use of his uncle’s guineas, he purchased a strong
+horse in the outskirts of London, and, to the surprise if not under
+heavy suspicions of the vender, set off at a gallop upon the road by
+which he had the day before gained the great metropolis.
+
+A ship was ready to sail at Bristol for Ireland; but, to Shamus’s
+discomfiture, she waited for a wind. He got aboard, however, and in the
+darksome and squalid hold often knelt down, and, with clasped hands and
+panting breast, petitioned Heaven for a favourable breeze. But from
+morning until evening the wind remained as he had found it, and Shamus
+despaired. His uncle, meantime, might have reached some other port, and
+embarked for their country. In the depth of his anguish he heard a brisk
+bustle upon deck, clambered up to investigate its cause, and found the
+ship’s sails already half unfurled to a wind that promised to bear him
+to his native shores by the next morning. The last light of day yet
+lingered in the heavens; he glanced, now under way, to the quay of
+Bristol. A group who had been watching the departure of the vessel
+turned round to note the approach to them of a man, who ran furiously
+toward the place where they stood, pointing after her, and evidently
+speaking with vehemence, although no words reached Shamus’s ear. Neither
+was his eye sure of this person’s features, but his heart read them
+distinctly. A boat shot from the quay; the man stood up in it, and its
+rowers made a signal.
+
+Shamus stepped to the gangway, as if preparing to hurl his pursuer into
+the sea. The captain took a speaking-trumpet, and informing the boat
+that he could not stop an instant, advised her to wait for another
+merchantman, which would sail in an hour. And during and after his
+speech his vessel ploughed cheerily on, making as much way as she was
+adapted to accomplish.
+
+Shamus’s bosom felt lightened of its immediate terror, but not freed of
+apprehension for the future. The ship that was to sail in an hour
+haunted his thoughts; he did not leave the deck, and, although the night
+proved very dark, his anxious eyes were never turned from the English
+coast. Unusual fatigue and want of sleep now and then overpowered him,
+and his senses swam in a wild and snatching slumber; but from this he
+would start, crying out and clinging to the cordage, as the feverish
+dream of an instant presented him with the swelling canvas of a
+fast-sailing ship, which came, suddenly bursting through the gloom of
+midnight, alongside of his own. Morning dawned, really to unveil to him
+the object of his fears following almost in the wake of her rival. He
+glanced in the opposite direction, and beheld the shores of Ireland; in
+another hour he jumped upon them; but his enemy’s face watched him from
+the deck of the companion vessel, now not more than a few ropes’ lengths
+distant.
+
+Shamus mounted a second good horse, and spurred toward home. Often did
+he look back, but without seeing any cause for increased alarm. As yet,
+however, the road had been level and winding, and therefore could not
+allow him to span much of it at a glance. After noon it ascended a high
+and lengthened hill surrounded by wastes of bog. As he gained the summit
+of this hill, and again looked back, a horseman appeared, sweeping to
+its foot. Shamus galloped at full speed down the now quickly falling
+road; then along its level continuation for about a mile; and then up
+another eminence, more lengthened, though not so steep as the former;
+and from it still he looked back, and caught the figure of the horseman
+breaking over the line of the hill he had passed. For hours such was the
+character of the chase, until the road narrowed and began to wind amid
+an uncultivated and uninhabited mountain wilderness. Here Shamus’s horse
+tripped and fell; the rider, little injured, assisted him to his legs,
+and, with lash and spur, re-urged him to pursue his course. The animal
+went forward in a last effort, and for still another span of time well
+befriended his rider. A rocky valley, through which both had been
+galloping, now opened at its farther end, presenting to Shamus’s eye, in
+the distance, the sloping ground, and the ruin which, with its
+mouldering walls, encircled his poor home; and the setting sun streamed
+golden rays through the windows and rents of the old abbey.
+
+The fugitive gave a weak cry of joy, and lashed his beast again. The cry
+seemed to be answered by a shout; and a second time, after a wild
+plunge, the horse fell, now throwing Shamus off with a force that left
+him stunned. And yet he heard the hoofs of another horse come thundering
+down the rocky way; and, while he made a faint effort to rise on his
+hands and look at his pursuer, the horse and horseman were very near,
+and the voice of his uncle cried, “Stand!” at the same time that the
+speaker fired a pistol, of which the ball struck a stone at Shamus’s
+foot. The next moment his uncle, having left his saddle, stood over him,
+presenting a second pistol, and he spoke in a low but distinct voice.
+
+“Spawn of a beggar! This is not merely for the chance of riches given by
+our dreams, though it seems, in the teeth of all I ever thought, that
+the devil tells truth at last. No, nor it is not quite for the blow; but
+it _is_ to close the lips that, with a single word, can kill me. You die
+to let me live!”
+
+“Help!” aspirated Shamus’s heart, turning itself to Heaven. “Help me but
+now, not for the sake of the goold either, but for the sake of them that
+will be left on the wild world widout me; for them help me, great God!”
+
+Hitherto his weakness and confusion had left him passive. Before his
+uncle spoke the last words, his silent prayer was offered, and Shamus
+had jumped upon his assailant. They struggled and dragged each other
+down. Shamus felt the muzzle of the pistol at his breast; heard it
+snap--but only snap; he seized and mastered it, and once more the uncle
+was at the mercy of his nephew. Shamus’s hand was raised to deal a good
+blow; but he checked himself, and addressed the almost senseless ears of
+his captive.
+
+“No; you’re my mother’s blood, and a son of hers will never draw it from
+your heart; but I can make sure of you again; stop a bit.”
+
+He ran to his own prostrate horse, took off its bridle and its
+saddle-girth, and with both secured his uncle’s limbs beyond all
+possibility of the struggler being able to escape from their control.
+
+“There,” resumed Shamus; “lie there till we have time to send an ould
+friend to see you, that, I’ll go bail, will take good care of your four
+bones. And do you know where I’m going now? You tould me, on Lunnon
+Bridge, that you knew _that_, at least,” pointing to the abbey; “ay, and
+the quare ould hearthstone that’s to be found in it. And so, look at
+this, uncle, honey.” He vaulted upon his relative’s horse. “I’m just
+goin’ to lift it off o’ the barrel-pot full of good ould goold, and you
+have only to cry halves, and you’ll get it, as, sure as that the big
+divil is in the town you came from.”
+
+Nance Dempsey was nursing her new-born babe, sitting up in her straw,
+and doing very well after her late illness, when old Noreen tottered in
+from the front of the ruin to tell her that “the body they were just
+speaking about was driving up the hill mad, like as if’t was his own
+sperit in great throuble.” And the listener had not recovered from her
+surprise when Shamus ran into the shed, flung himself, kneeling, by her
+side, caught her in his arms, then seized her infant, covered it with
+kisses, and then, roughly throwing it in her lap, turned to the
+fireplace, raised one of the rocky seats lying near it, poised the
+ponderous mass over the hearthstone, and shivered into pieces, with one
+crash, that solid barrier between him and his visionary world of wealth.
+
+“It’s cracked he is out an’ out of a certainty,” said Nance, looking
+terrified at her husband.
+
+“Nothing else am I,” shouted Shamus, after groping under the broken
+slab; “an’, for a token, get along wid yourself out of this, ould gran!”
+
+He started up and seized her by the shoulder. Noreen remonstrated. He
+stooped for a stone; she ran; he pursued her to the arches of the ruin.
+She stopped half-way down the descent. He pelted her with clods to the
+bottom, and along a good piece of her road homeward, and then danced
+back into his wife’s presence.
+
+“Now, Nance,” he cried, “now that we’re by ourselves, what noise is this
+like?”
+
+“And he took out han’fuls after han’fuls of the ould goold afore her
+face, my dear,” added the original narrator of this story.
+
+“An’ after the gaugers and their crony, Ould Nick, ran off wid the uncle
+of him, Nance and he and the childer lived together in their father’s
+and mother’s house; and if they didn’t live and die happy, I wish that
+you and I may.”
+
+
+
+
+NEAL MALONE
+
+BY WILLIAM CARLETON
+
+
+There never was a greater-souled or doughtier tailor than little Neal
+Malone. Though but four feet four in height, he paced the earth with the
+courage and confidence of a giant; nay, one would have imagined that he
+walked as if he feared the world itself was about to give way under him.
+Let no one dare to say in future that a tailor is but the ninth part of
+a man. That reproach has been gloriously taken away from the character
+of the cross-legged corporation by Neal Malone. He has wiped it off like
+a stain from the collar of a secondhand coat; he has pressed this
+wrinkle out of the lying front of antiquity; he has drawn together this
+rent in the respectability of his profession. No. By him who was
+breeches-maker to the gods,--that is, except, like Highlanders, they
+eschewed inexpressibles,--by him who cut Jupiter’s frieze jocks for
+winter, and eke by the bottom of his thimble, we swear that Neal Malone
+was _more_ than the ninth part of a man.
+
+Setting aside the Patagonians, we maintain that two thirds of mortal
+humanity were comprised in Neal; and perhaps we might venture to assert
+that two thirds of Neal’s humanity were equal to six thirds of another
+man’s. It is right well known that Alexander the Great was a little man,
+and we doubt whether, had Alexander the Great been bred to the tailoring
+business, he would have exhibited so much of the hero as Neal Malone.
+Neal was descended from a fighting family, who had signalised themselves
+in as many battles as ever any single hero of antiquity fought. His
+father, his grandfather, and his great-grandfather were all fighting
+men, and his ancestors in general, up, probably, to Con of the Hundred
+Battles himself. No wonder, therefore, that Neal’s blood should cry out
+against the cowardice of his calling; no wonder that he should be an
+epitome of all that was valorous and heroic in a peaceable man, for we
+neglected to inform the reader that Neal, though “bearing no base mind,”
+never fought any man in his own person. That, however, deducted nothing
+from his courage. If he did not fight it was simply because he found
+cowardice universal. No man would engage him; his spirit blazed in vain;
+his thirst for battle was doomed to remain unquenched, except by whisky,
+and this only increased it. In short, he could find no foe. He has often
+been known to challenge the first cudgel-players and pugilists of the
+parish, to provoke men of fourteenstone weight, and to bid mortal
+defiance to faction heroes of all grades-but in vain. There was that in
+him which told them that an encounter with Neal would strip them of
+their laurels. Neal saw all this with a lofty indignation; he deplored
+the degeneracy of the times, and thought it hard that the descendant of
+such a fighting family should be doomed to pass through life peaceably,
+whilst so many excellent rows and riots took place around him. It was a
+calamity to see every man’s head broken but his own; a dismal thing to
+observe his neighbours go about with their bones in bandages, yet his
+untouched, and his friends beat black and blue, whilst his own cuticle
+remained unscoloured.
+
+“Blur an’ agers!” exclaimed Neal one day, when half tipsy in the fair,
+“am I never to get a bit o’ figtin’? Is there no cowardly spalpeen to
+stand afore Neal Malone? Be this an’ be that, I’m blue-mowlded for want
+of a batin’! I’m disgracin’ my relations by the life I’m ladin’! Will
+none o’ ye fight me aither for love, money, or whisky, frind or inimy,
+an’ bad luck to ye? I don’t care a traneen which, only out o’ pure
+frindship, let us have a morsel o’ the rale kick-up, ’t any rate. Frind
+or inimy, I say agin, if you regard me; sore _that_ makes no differ,
+only let us have the fight.”
+
+This excellent heroism was all wasted; Neal could not find a single
+adversary. Except he divided himself like Hotspur, and went to buffets
+one hand against the other, there was no chance of a fight; no person to
+be found sufficiently magnanimous to encounter the tailor. On the
+contrary, every one of his friends--or, in other words, every man in the
+parish--was ready to support him. He was clapped on the back until his
+bones were nearly dislocated in his body, and his hand shaken until his
+arm lost its cunning at the needle for half a week afterward. This, to
+be sure, was a bitter business, a state of being past endurance. Every
+man was his friend--no man was his enemy. A desperate position for any
+person to find himself in, but doubly calamitous to a martial tailor.
+
+Many a dolourous complaint did Neal make upon the misfortune of having
+none to wish him ill; and what rendered this hardship doubly oppressive
+was the unlucky fact that no exertions of his, however offensive, could
+procure him a single foe. In vain did he insult, abuse, and malign all
+his acquaintances. In vain did he father upon them all the rascality and
+villainy he could think of; he lied against them with a force and
+originality that would have made many a modern novelist blush for want
+of invention--but all to no purpose. The world for once became
+astonishingly Christian; it paid back all his efforts to excite its
+resentment with the purest of charity; when Neal struck it on the one
+cheek, it meekly turned unto him the other. It could scarcely be
+expected that Neal would bear this. To have the whole world in
+friendship with a man is beyond doubt an affliction. Not to have the
+face of a single enemy to look upon would decidedly be considered a
+deprivation of many agreeable sensations by most people as well as by
+Neal Malone. Let who might sustain a loss or experience a calamity, it
+was a matter of indifference to Neal. They were only his friends, and he
+troubled neither his head nor his heart about them.
+
+Heaven help us! There is no man without his trials; and Neal, the reader
+perceives, was not exempt from his. What did it avail him that he
+carried a cudgel ready for all hostile contingencies, or knit his brows
+and shook his kippeen at the fiercest of his fighting friends? The
+moment he appeared they softened into downright cordiality. His presence
+was the signal of peace; for, notwithstanding his unconquerable
+propensity to warfare, he went abroad as the genius of unanimity, though
+carrying in his bosom the redoubtable disposition of a warrior; just as
+the sun, though the source of light himself, is said to be dark enough
+at bottom.
+
+It could not be expected that Neal, with whatever fortitude he might
+bear his other afflictions, could bear such tranquillity like a hero. To
+say that he bore it as one would be basely to surrender his character;
+for what hero ever bore a state of tranquillity with courage? It
+affected his cutting out! It produced what Burton calls “a windie
+melancholie,” which was nothing else than an accumulation of courage
+that had no means of escaping, if courage can, without indignity, be
+ever said to escape. He sat uneasy on his lap-board. Instead of cutting
+out soberly, he flourished his scissors as if he were heading a faction;
+he wasted much chalk by scoring his cloth in wrong places, and even
+caught his hot goose without a holder. These symptoms alarmed his
+friends, who persuaded him to go to a doctor. Neal went to satisfy them;
+but he knew that no prescription could drive the courage out of him,
+that he was too far gone in heroism to be made a coward of by apothecary
+stuff. Nothing in the pharmacopoeia could physic him into a pacific
+state. His disease was simply the want of an enemy, and an unaccountable
+superabundance of friendship on the part of his acquaintances. How could
+a doctor remedy this by a prescription? Impossible. The doctor, indeed,
+recommended blood-letting; but to lose blood in a peaceable manner was
+not only cowardly, but a bad cure for courage. Neal declined it: he
+would lose no blood for any man until he could not help it; which was
+giving the character of a hero at a single touch. _His_ blood was not to
+be thrown away in this manner; the only lancet ever applied to his
+relations was the cudgel, and Neal scorned to abandon the principles of
+his family.
+
+His friends, finding that he reserved his blood for more heroic purposes
+than dastardly phlebotomy, knew not what to do with him. His perpetual
+exclamation was, as we have already stated, “I’m blue-mowlded for want
+of a batin’!” They did everything in their power to cheer him with the
+hope of a drubbing; told him he lived in an excellent country for a man
+afflicted with his malady; and promised, if it were at all possible, to
+create him a private enemy or two, who, they hoped in heaven, might
+trounce him to some purpose.
+
+This sustained him for a while; but as day after day passed and no
+appearance of action presented itself, he could not choose but increase
+in courage. His soul, like a sword-blade too long in the scabbard, was
+beginning to get fuliginous by inactivity. He looked upon the point of
+his own needle and the bright edge of his scissors with a bitter pang
+when he thought of the spirit rusting within him; he meditated fresh
+insults, studied new plans, and hunted out cunning devices for provoking
+his acquaintances to battle, until by degrees he began to confound his
+own brain and to commit more grievous oversights in his business than
+ever. Sometimes he sent home to one person a coat with the legs of a
+pair of trousers attached to it for sleeves, and despatched to another
+the arms of the aforesaid coat tacked together as a pair of trousers.
+Sometimes the coat was made to button behind instead of before; and he
+frequently placed the pockets in the lower part of the skirts, as if he
+had been in league with cutpurses.
+
+This was a melancholy situation, and his friends pitied him accordingly.
+
+“Don’t be cast down, Neal,” said they; “your friends feel for you, poor
+fellow.”
+
+“Divil carry my frinds,” replied Neal; “sure, there’s not one o’ yez
+frindly enough to be my inimy. Tare an’ ouns! what’ll I do? I’m
+blue-mowlded for want of a batin’!”
+
+Seeing that their consolation was thrown away upon him, they resolved to
+leave him to his fate; which they had no sooner done then Neal had
+thoughts of taking to the Skiomachia as a last remedy. In this mood he
+looked with considerable antipathy at his own shadow for several nights;
+and it is not to be questioned but that some hard battles would have
+taken place between them had it not been for the cunning of the shadow,
+which declined to fight him in any other position than with its back to
+the wall. This occasioned him to pause, for the wall was a fearful
+antagonist, inasmuch as it knew not when it was beaten; but there was
+still an alternative left. He went to the garden one clear day about
+noon, and hoped to have a bout with the shade free from interruption.
+Both approached, apparently eager for the combat and resolved to conquer
+or die, when a villainous cloud, happening to intercept the light, gave
+the shadow an opportunity of disappearing, and Neal found himself once
+more without an opponent.
+
+“It’s aisy known,” said Neal, “you haven’t the _blood_ in you, or you’d
+come to the scratch like a man.”
+
+He now saw that fate was against him, and that any further hostility
+toward the shadow was only a tempting of Providence. He lost his health,
+spirits, and everything but his courage. His countenance became pale and
+peaceful-looking; the bluster departed from him; his body shrank up like
+a withered parsnip. Thrice was he compelled to take in his clothes, and
+thrice did he ascertain that much of his time would be necessarily spent
+in pursuing his retreating person through the solitude of his almost
+deserted garments.
+
+God knows it is difficult to form a correct opinion upon a situation so
+parodoxical as Neal’s was. To be reduced to skin and bone by the
+downright friendship of the world was, as the sagacious reader will
+admit, next to a miracle. We appeal to the conscience of any man who
+finds himself without an enemy whether he be not a greater skeleton than
+the tailor; we will give him fifty guineas provided he can show a calf
+to his leg. We know he could not; for the tailor had none, and that was
+because he had not an enemy. No man in friendship with the world ever
+has calves to his legs. To sum up all in a parodox of our own invention,
+for which we claim the full credit of originality, we now assert that
+more men have risen in the world by the injury of their enemies than
+have risen by the kindness of their friends. You may take this, reader,
+in any sense; apply it to hanging if you like; it is still immutably and
+immovably true.
+
+One day Neal sat cross-legged, as tailors usually sit, in the act of
+pressing a pair of breeches; his hands were placed, backs up, upon the
+handle of his goose, and his chin rested upon the backs of his hands. To
+judge from his sorrowful complexion, one would suppose that he sat
+rather to be sketched as a picture of misery or of heroism in distress
+than for the industrious purpose of pressing the seams of a garment.
+There was a great deal of New Burlington Street pathos in his
+countenance; his face, like the times, was rather out of joint; “the sun
+was just setting, and his golden beams fell, with a saddened splendor,
+athwart the tailor’s--” The reader may fill up the picture.
+
+In this position sat Neal when Mr. O’Connor, the schoolmaster, whose
+inexpressibles he was turning for the third time, entered the workshop.
+Mr. O’Connor himself was as finished a picture of misery as the tailor.
+There was a patient, subdued kind of expression in his face which
+indicated a very fair portion of calamity; his eye seemed charged with
+affliction of the first water; on each side of his nose might be traced
+two dry channels, which, no doubt, were full enough while the tropical
+rains of his countenance lasted. Altogether, to conclude from
+appearances, it was a dead match in affliction between him and the
+tailor; both seemed sad, fleshless, and unthriving.
+
+“Misther O’Connor,” said the tailor, when the schoolmaster entered,
+“won’t you be pleased to sit down?”
+
+Mr. O’Connor sat; and, after wiping his forehead, laid his hat upon the
+lap-board, put his half-handkerchief in his pocket, and looked upon the
+tailor. The tailor, in return, looked upon Mr. O’Connor; but neither of
+them spoke for some minutes. Neal, in fact, appeared to be wrapped up in
+his own misery, and Mr. O’Connor in his; or, as we often have much
+gratuitous sympathy for the distresses of our friends, we question but
+the tailor was wrapped up in Mr. O’Connor’s misery, and Mr. O’Connor in
+the tailor’s.
+
+Mr. O’Connor at length said: “Neal, are my inexpressibles finished?”
+
+“I am now pressin’ your inexpressibles,” replied Neal; “but, be my sowl,
+Mr. O’Connor, it’s not your inexpressibles I’m thinkin’ of. I’m not the
+ninth part o’ what I was. I’d hardly make paddin’ for a collar now.”
+
+“Are you able to carry a staff still, Neal?”
+
+“I’ve a light hazel one that’s handy,” said the tailor, “but where’s the
+use o’ carryin’ it whin I can get no one to fight wid? Sure, I’m
+disgracin’ my relations by the life I’m ladin’. I’ll go to my grave
+widout ever batin’ a man or bein’ bate myself; that’s the vexation.
+Divil the row ever I was able to kick up in my life; so that I’m fairly
+blue-mowlded for want of a batin’. But if you have patience--”
+
+“Patience!” said Mr. O’Connor, with a shake of the head that was
+perfectly disastrous even to look at,--“patience, did you say, Neal?”
+
+“Ay,” said Neal, “an’ be my sowl, if you deny that I said patience I’ll
+break your head!”
+
+“Ah, Neal,” returned the other, “I don’t deny it; for, though I’m
+teaching philosophy, knowledge, and mathematics every day in my life,
+yet I’m learning patience myself both night and day. No, Neal; I have
+forgotten to deny anything. I have not been guilty of a contradiction,
+out of my own school, for the last fourteen years. I once expressed the
+shadow of a doubt about twelve years ago, but ever since I have
+abandoned even doubting. That doubt was the last expiring effort at
+maintaining my domestic authority--but I suffered for it.”
+
+“Well,” said Neal, “if you have patience, I’ll tell you what afflicts me
+from beginnin’ to endin’.”
+
+“I _will_ have patience,” said Mr. O’Connor; and he accordingly heard a
+dismal and indignant tale from the tailor.
+
+“You have told me that fifty times over,” said Mr. O’Connor, after
+hearing the story. “Your spirit is too martial for a pacific life. If
+you follow my advice, I will teach you how to ripple the calm current of
+your existence to some purpose. _Marry a wife_. For twenty-five years I
+have given instruction in three branches, namely, philosophy, knowledge,
+and mathematics. I am also well versed in matrimony, and I declare that,
+upon my misery and by the contents of all my afflictions, it is my
+solemn and melancholy opinion that, if you marry a wife, you will,
+before three months pass over your concatenated state, not have a single
+complaint to make touching a superabundance of peace or tranquillity or
+a love of fighting.”
+
+“Do you mane to say that any woman would make me afeard?” said the
+tailor, deliberately rising up and getting his cudgel. “I’ll thank you
+merely to go over the words agin, till I thrasy you widin an inch of
+your life. That’s all”
+
+“Neal,” said the schoolmaster, meekly, “I won’t fight; I have been too
+often subdued ever to presume on the hope of a single victory. My spirit
+is long since evaporated; I am like one of your own shreds, a mere
+selvage. Do you not know how much my habiliments have shrunk in even
+within the last five years? Hear me, Neal, and venerate my words as if
+they proceeded from the lips of a prophet. If you wish to taste the
+luxury of being subdued--if you are, as you say, blue-moulded for want
+of a beating, and sick at heart of a peaceful existence--why, marry a
+wife. Neal, send my breeches home with all haste, for they are wanted,
+you understand. Farewell.”
+
+Mr. O’Connor, having thus expressed himself, departed; and Neal stood,
+with the cudgel in his hand, looking at the door out of which he passed,
+with an expression of fierceness, contempt, and reflection strongly
+blended on the ruins of his once heroic visage.
+
+Many a man has happiness within his reach if he but knew it. The tailor
+had been hitherto miserable because he pursued a wrong object. The
+schoolmaster, however, suggested a train of thought upon which Neal now
+fastened with all the ardour of a chivalrous temperament. Nay, be
+wondered that the family spirit should have so completely seized upon
+the fighting side of his heart as to preclude all thoughts of matrimony;
+for he could not but remember that his relations were as ready for
+marriage as for fighting. To doubt this would have been to throw a blot
+upon his own escutcheon. He therefore very prudently asked himself to
+whom, if he did not marry, should he transmit his courage. He was a
+single man, and, dying as such, he would be the sole depository of his
+own valor, which, like Junius’s secret, must perish with him. If he
+could have left it as a legacy to such of his friends as were most
+remarkable for cowardice, why, the case would be altered: but this was
+impossible, and he had now no other means of preserving it to posterity
+than by creating a posterity to inherit it. He saw, too, that the world
+was likely to become convulsed. Wars, as everybody knew, were certain to
+break out; and would it not be an excellent opportunity for being father
+to a colonel, or perhaps a general, that might astonish the world?
+
+The change visible in Neal after the schoolmaster’s last visit
+absolutely thunderstruck all who knew him. The clothes which he had
+rashly taken in to fit his shrivelled limbs were once more let out. The
+tailor expanded with a new spirit; his joints ceased to be supple, as in
+the days of his valor; his eye became less fiery but more brilliant.
+From being martial, he got desperately gallant; but, somehow, he could
+not afford to act the hero and lover both at the same time. This,
+perhaps, would be too much to expect from a tailor. His policy was
+better. He resolved to bring all his available energy to bear upon the
+charms of whatever fair nymph he should select for the honour of
+matrimony; to waste his spirit in fighting would, therefore, be a
+deduction from the single purpose in view.
+
+The transition from war to love is by no means so remarkable as we might
+at first imagine. We quote Jack Falstaff in proof of this; or, if the
+reader be disposed to reject our authority, then we quote Ancient Pistol
+himself--both of whom we consider as the most finished specimens of
+heroism that ever carried a safe skin. Acres would have been a hero had
+he worn gloves to prevent the courage from oozing out at his palms, or
+not felt such an unlucky antipathy to the “snug lying in the Abbey”; and
+as for Captain Bobadil, he never had an opportunity of putting his plan
+for vanquishing an army into practice. We fear, indeed, that neither his
+character nor Ben Jonson’s knowledge of human nature is properly
+understood; for it certainly could not be expected that a man whose
+spirit glowed to encounter a whole host could, without tarnishing his
+dignity, if closely pressed, condescend to fight an individual. But as
+these remarks on courage may be felt by the reader as an invidious
+introduction of a subject disagreeable to him, we beg to hush it for the
+present and return to the tailor.
+
+No sooner had Neal begun to feel an inclination to matrimony than his
+friends knew that his principles had veered by the change now visible in
+his person and deportment. They saw he had ratted from courage and
+joined love. Heretofore his life had been all winter, darkened by storm
+and hurricane. The fiercer virtues had played the devil with him; every
+word was thunder, every look lightning; but now all that had passed
+away. Before he was the _fortiter in re_; at present he was the
+_suaviter in modo_. His existence was perfect spring, beautifully
+vernal. All the amiable and softer qualities began to bud about his
+heart; a genial warmth was diffused over him; his soul got green within
+him; every day was serene, and if a cloud happened to become visible,
+there was a roguish rainbow astride of it, on which sat a beautiful Iris
+that laughed down at him and seemed to say, “Why the dickens, Neal,
+don’t you marry a wife?”
+
+Neal could not resist the afflatus which decended on him; an ethereal
+light dwelled, he thought, upon the face of nature; the colour of the
+cloth which he cut out from day to day was, to his enraptured eye, like
+the colour of Cupid’s wings--all purple; his visions were worth their
+weight in gold; his dreams a credit to the bed he slept on; and his
+feelings, like blind puppies, young and alive to the milk of love and
+kindness which they drew from his heart. Most of this delight escaped
+the observation of the world, for Neal, like your true lover, became shy
+and mysterious. It is difficult to say what he resembled; no dark
+lantern ever had more light shut up within itself than Neal had in his
+soul, although his friends were not aware of it. They knew, indeed, that
+he had turned his back upon valor; but beyond this their knowledge did
+not extend.
+
+Neal was shrewd enough to know that what he felt must be love; nothing
+else could distend him with happiness until his soul felt light and
+bladderlike but love. As an oyster opens when expecting the tide, so did
+his soul expand at the contemplation of matrimony. Labour ceased to be a
+trouble to him; he sang and sewed from morning till night; his hot goose
+no longer burned him, for his heart was as hot as his goose; the
+vibrations of his head, at each successive stitch, were no longer sad
+and melancholy. There was a buoyant shake of exultation in them which
+showed that his soul was placid and happy within him.
+
+Endless honour be to Neal Malone for the originality with which he
+managed the tender sentiment! He did not, like your commonplace lovers,
+first discover a pretty girl and afterward become enamoured of her. No
+such thing; he had the passion prepared beforehand--cut out and made up,
+as it were, ready for any girl whom it might fit. This was falling in
+love in the abstract, and let no man condemn it without a trial, for
+many a long-winded argument could be urged in its defence. It is always
+wrong to commence business without capital, and Neal had a good stock to
+begin with. All we beg is that the reader will not confound it with
+Platonism, which never marries; but he is at full liberty to call it
+Socratism, which takes unto itself a wife and suffers accordingly.
+
+Let no one suppose that Neal forgot the schoolmaster’s kindness, or
+failed to be duly grateful for it. Mr. O’Connor was the first person
+whom he consulted touching his passion. With a cheerful soul he waited
+on that melancholy and gentleman-like man, and in the very luxury of his
+heart told him that he was in love.
+
+“In love, Neal!” said the schoolmaster. “May I inquire with whom?”
+
+“Wid nobody in particular yet,” replied Neal; “but o’ late I’m got
+divilish fond o’ the girls in general.”
+
+“And do you call that being in love, Neal?” said Mr. O’Connor.
+
+“Why, what else would I call it?” returned the tailor. “Am n’t I fond o’
+them?”
+
+“Then it must be what is termed the ‘universal passion,’ Neal,” observed
+Mr. O’Connor, “although it is the first time I have seen such an
+illustration of it as you present in your own person.”
+
+“I wish you would advise me how to act,” said Neal; “I’m as happy as a
+prince since I began to get fond o’ them an’ to think o’ marriage.”
+
+The schoolmaster shook his head again, and looked rather miserable. Neal
+rubbed his hands with glee, and looked perfectly happy. The schoolmaster
+shook his head again, and looked more miserable than before. Neal’s
+happiness also increased on the second rubbing.
+
+Now, to tell the secret at once, Mr. O’Connor would not have appeared so
+miserable were it not for Neal’s happiness; nor Neal so happy were it
+not for Mr. O’Connor’s misery. It was all the result of contrast; but
+this you will not understand unless you be deeply read in modern novels.
+
+Mr. O’Connor, however, was a man of sense, who knew, upon this
+principle, that the longer he continued to shake his head the more
+miserable he must become, and the more also would he increase Neal’s
+happiness; but he had no intention of increasing Neal’s happiness at his
+own expense--for, upon the same hypothesis, it would have been for
+Neal’s interest had he remained shaking his head there and getting
+miserable until the day of judgment. He consequently declined giving the
+third shake, for he thought that plain conversation was, after all, more
+significant and forcible than the most eloquent nod, however ably
+translated.
+
+“Neal,” said he, “could you, by stretching your imagination, contrive to
+rest contented with nursing your passion in solitude, and love the sex
+at a distance?”
+
+“How could I nurse and mind my business?” replied the tailor. “I’ll
+never nurse so long as I’ll have the wife; and as for ’magination, it
+depends upon the grain o’it whether I can stretch it or not. I don’t
+know that I ever made a coat o’it in my life.”
+
+“You don’t understand me, Neal,” said the schoolmaster. “In recommending
+marriage, I was only driving one evil out of you by introducing another.
+Do you think that, if you abandoned all thoughts of a wife, you would
+get heroic again--that is, would you take once more to the love of
+fighting?”
+
+“There is no doubt but I would,” said the tailor; “if I miss the wife,
+I’ll kick up such a dust as never was seen in the parish, an’ you’re the
+first man that I’ll lick. But now that I’m in love,” he continued,
+“sure, I ought to look out for the wife.”
+
+“Ah, Neal,” said the schoolmaster, “you are tempting destiny; your
+temerity be, with all its melancholy consequences, upon your own head.”
+
+“Come,” said the tailor; “it wasn’t to hear you groaning to the tune o’
+‘Dhrimmindhoo,’ or ‘The old woman rockin’ her cradle,’ that I came; but
+to know if you could help me in makin’ out the wife. That’s the
+discoorse.”
+
+“Look at me, Neal,” said the schoolmaster, solemnly. “I am at this
+moment, and have been any time for the last fifteen years, a living
+_caveto_ against matrimony. I do not think that earth possesses such a
+luxury as a single solitary life. Neal, the monks of old were happy men;
+they were all fat and had double chins; and, Neal, I tell you that all
+fat men are in general happy. Care cannot come at them so readily as at
+a thin man; before it gets through the strong outworks of flesh and
+blood with which they are surrounded, it becomes treacherous to its
+original purpose, joins the cheerful spirits it meets in the system, and
+dances about the heart in all the madness of mirth; just like a sincere
+ecclesiastic who comes to lecture a good fellow against drinking, but
+who forgets his lecture over his cups, and is laid under the table with
+such success that he either never comes to finish his lecture, or comes
+often to be laid under the table. Look at me, Neal, how wasted,
+fleshless, and miserable I am. You know how my garments have shrunk in,
+and what a solid man I was before marriage. Neal, pause, I beseech you;
+otherwise you stand a strong chance of becoming a nonentity like
+myself.”
+
+“I don’t care what I become,” said the tailor; “I can’t think that you’d
+be so unreasonable as to expect that any o’ the Malones should pass out
+o’ the world widout either bein’ bate or marrid. Have reason, Mr.
+O’Connor, an’ if you can help me to the wife I promise to take in your
+coat the next time for nothin’.”
+
+“Well, then,” said Mr. O’Connor, “what would you think of the butcher’s
+daughter, Biddy Neil? You have always had a thirst for blood, and here
+you may have it gratified in an innocent manner, should you ever become
+sanguinary again. ’T is true, Neal, she is twice your size and possesses
+three times your strength; but for that very reason, Neal, marry her if
+you can. Large animals are placid; and Heaven preserve those bachelors
+whom I wish well from a small wife; ’t is such who always wield the
+sceptre of domestic life and rule their husbands with a rod of iron.”
+
+“Say no more, Mr. O’Connor,” replied the tailor; “she’s the very girl
+I’m in love wid, an’ never fear but I’ll overcome her heart if it can be
+done by man. Now, step over the way to my house, an’ we’ll have a sup on
+the head o’ it. Who’s that calling?”
+
+“Ah, Neal, I know the tones--there’s a shrillness in them not to be
+mistaken. Farewell! I must depart; you have heard the proverb, ‘Those
+who are bound must obey.’ Young Jack, I presume, is squalling, and I
+must either nurse him, rock the cradle, or sing comic tunes for him,
+though Heaven knows with what a disastrous heart I often sing, ‘Begone,
+dull care,’ the ‘Rakes of Newcastle,’ or, ‘Peas upon a Trencher.’ Neal,
+I say again, pause before you take this leap in the dark. Pause, Neal, I
+entreat you. Farewell!”
+
+Neal, however, was gifted with the heart of an Irishman, and scorned
+caution as the characteristic of a coward; he had, as it appeared,
+abandoned all design of fighting, but the courage still adhered to him
+even in making love. He consequently conducted the siege of Biddy Neil’s
+heart with a degree of skill and valor which would not have come amiss
+to Marshal Gerald at the siege of Antwerp. Locke or Dugald Stewart,
+indeed, had they been cognisant of the tailor’s triumph, might have
+illustrated the principle on which he succeeded; as to ourselves, we can
+only conjecture it. Our own opinion is that they were both animated with
+a congenial spirit. Biddy was the very pink of pugnacity, and could
+throw in a body-blow or plant a facer with singular energy and science.
+Her prowess hitherto had, we confess, been displayed only within the
+limited range of domestic life; but should she ever find it necessary to
+exercise it upon a larger scale, there was no doubt whatsoever, in the
+opinion of her mother, brothers, and sisters, every one of whom she had
+successively subdued, that she must undoubtedly distinguish herself.
+There was certainly one difficulty which the tailor had _not_ to
+encounter in the progress of fats courtship: the field was his own, he
+had not a rival to dispute his claim. Neither was there any opposition
+given by her friends; they were, on the contrary, all anxious for the
+match; and when the arrangements were concluded, Neal felt his hand
+squeezed by them in succession, with an expression more resembling
+condolence than joy. Neal, however, had been bred to tailoring, and not
+to metaphysics; he could cut out a coat very well, but we do not say
+that he could trace a principle--as what tailor, except Jeremy Taylor,
+could?
+
+There was nothing particular in the wedding. Mr. O’Connor was asked by
+Neal to be present at it; but he shook his head, and told him that he
+had not courage to attend it or inclination to witness any man’s sorrows
+but his own. He met the wedding-party by accident, and was heard to
+exclaim with a sigh as they flaunted past him in gay exuberance of
+spirits: “Ah, poor Neal! he is going like one of her father’s cattle to
+the shambles! Woe is me for having suggested matrimony to the taylor! He
+will not long be under the necessity of saying that he is ‘blue-moulded
+for want of a beating.’ The butcheress will fell him like a Kerry ox,
+and I may have his blood to answer for and his discomfiture to feel for
+in addition to my own miseries.”
+
+On the evening of the wedding-day, about the hour of ten o’clock, Neal,
+whose spirits were uncommonly exalted, for his heart luxuriated within
+him, danced with his bridesmaid; after the dance he sat beside her, and
+got eloquent in praise of her beauty; and it is said, too, that he
+whispered to her and chucked her chin with considerable gallantry. The
+_tête-à-tête_ continued for some time without exciting particular
+attention, with one exception; but _that_ exception was worth a whole
+chapter of general rules. Mrs. Malone rose up, then sat down again and
+took off a glass of the native; she got up a second time; all the wife
+rushed upon her heart. She approached them, and, in a fit of the most
+exquisite sensibility, knocked the bridesmaid down, and gave the tailor
+a kick of affecting pathos upon the inexpressibles. The whole scene was
+a touching one on both sides. The tailor was sent on all-fours to the
+floor, but Mrs. Malone took him quietly up, put him under her arm as one
+would a lap-dog, and with stately step marched away to the connubial
+apartment, in which everything remained very quiet for the rest of the
+night.
+
+The next morning Mr. O’Connor presented himself to congratulate the
+tailor on his happiness. Neal, as his friend, shook hands with him, gave
+the schoolmaster’s fingers a slight squeeze, such as a man gives who
+would gently entreat your sympathy. The schoolmaster looked at him, and
+thought he shook his head. Of this, however, he could not be certain;
+for, as he shook his own during the moment of observation, he concluded
+that it might be a mere mistake of the eye, or, perhaps, the result of a
+mind predisposed to be credulous on the subject of shaking heads.
+
+We wish it were in our power to draw a veil, or curtain, or blind of
+some description, over the remnant of the tailor’s narrative that is to
+follow; but as it is the duty of every faithful historian to give the
+secret causes of appearances which the world in general does not
+understand, so we think it but honest to go on, impartially and
+faithfully, without shrinking from the responsibility that is frequently
+annexed to truth.
+
+For the first three days after matrimony Neal felt like a man who had
+been translated to a new and more lively state of existence. He had
+expected, and flattered himself, that the moment this event should take
+place he would once more resume his heroism, and experience the pleasure
+of a drubbing. This determination he kept a profound secret; nor was it
+known until a future period, when he disclosed it to Mr. O’Connor. He
+intended, therefore, that marriage should be nothing more than a mere
+parenthesis in his life--a kind of asterisk, pointing, in a note at the
+bottom, to this single exception in his general conduct--a nota bene to
+the spirit of a martial man, intimating that he had been peaceful only
+for a while. In truth, he was, during the influence of love over him and
+up to the very day of his marriage, secretly as blue-moulded as ever for
+want of a beating. The heroic penchant lay snugly latent in his heart,
+unchecked and unmodified. He flattered himself that he was achieving a
+capital imposition upon the world at large, that he was actually hoaxing
+mankind in general, and that such an excellent piece of knavish
+tranquillity had never been perpetrated before his time.
+
+On the first week after his marriage there chanced to be a fair in the
+next market-town. Neal, after breakfast, brought forward a bunch of
+shillalahs, in order to select the best; the wife inquired the purpose
+of the selection, and Neal declared that he was resolved to have a fight
+that day if it were to be had, he said, for “love or money.” “The truth
+is,” he exclaimed, strutting with fortitude about the house, “the truth
+is, that I’ve _done_ the whole of yez--I’m as blue-mowlded as ever for
+want of a batin’.”
+
+“Don’t go,” said the wife.
+
+“I _will_ go,” said Neal, with vehemence; “I’ll go if the whole parish
+was to go to prevint me.”
+
+In about another half-hour Neal sat down quietly to his business instead
+of going to the fair!
+
+Much ingenious speculation might be indulged in upon this abrupt
+termination to the tailor’s most formidable resolution; but, for our own
+part, we will prefer going on with the narrative, leaving the reader at
+liberty to solve the mystery as he pleases. In the meantime we say this
+much; let those who cannot make it out carry it to their tailor; it is a
+tailor’s mystery, and no one has so good a right to understand
+it--except, perhaps, a tailor’s wife.
+
+At the period of his matrimony Neal had become as plump and as stout as
+he ever was known to be in his plumpest and stoutest days. He and the
+schoolmaster had been very intimate about this time; but we know not how
+it happened that soon afterward he felt a modest, bride-like reluctance
+in meeting with that afflicted gentleman. As the eve of his union
+approached, he was in the habit, during the schoolmaster’s visits to his
+workshop, of alluding, in rather a sarcastic tone, considering the
+unthriving appearance of his friend, to the increasing lustiness of his
+person. Nay, he has often leaped up from his lap-board, and, in the
+strong spirit of exultation, thrust out his leg in attestation of his
+assertion, slapping it, moreover, with a loud laugh of triumph that
+sounded like a knell to the happiness of his emaciated acquaintance. The
+schoolmaster’s philosophy, however, unlike his flesh, never departed
+from him; his usual observation was, “Neal, we are both receding from
+the same point; you increase in flesh, whilst I, Heaven help me, am fast
+diminishing.”
+
+The tailor received these remarks with very boisterous mirth, whilst Mr.
+O’Connor simply shook his head and looked sadly upon his limbs, now
+shrouded in a superfluity of garments, somewhat resembling a slender
+thread of water in a shallow summer stream nearly wasted away and
+surrounded by an unproportionate extent of channel.
+
+The fourth month after the marriage arrived, Neal, one day near its
+close, began to dress himself in his best apparel. Even then, when
+buttoning his waistcoat, he shook his head after the manner of Mr.
+O’Connor, and made observations upon the great extent to which it
+over-folded him.
+
+“Well,” thought he with a sigh, “this waistcoat certainly _did_ fit me
+to a T; but it’s wonderful to think how--cloth stretches!”
+
+“Neal,” said the wife, on perceiving him dressed, “where are you bound
+for?”
+
+“Faith, _for life_” replied Neal, with a mitigated swagger; “and I’d as
+soon, if it had been the will of Provid--”
+
+He paused.
+
+“Where are you going?” asked the wife a second time.
+
+“Why,” he answered, “only to dance at Jemmy Connolly’s; I’ll be back
+early.”
+
+“Don’t go,” said the wife.
+
+“I’ll go,” said Neal, “if the whole counthry was to prevint me. Thunder
+an’ lightnin’, woman, who am I?” he exclaimed, in a loud, but rather
+infirm voice. “Am n’t I Neal Malone, that never met a _man_ who’d fight
+him? Neal Malone, that was never beat by _man_! Why, tare an’ ouns,
+woman! Whoo! I’ll get enraged some time, an’ play the divil! Who’s
+afeard, I say?”
+
+“_Don’t go_,” added the wife a third time, giving Neal a significant
+look in the face.
+
+In about another half-hour Neal sat down quietly to his business instead
+of going to the dance!
+
+Neal now turned himself, like many a sage in similar circumstances, to
+philosophy; that is to say, he began to shake his head upon principle,
+after the manner of the schoolmaster. He would, indeed, have preferred
+the bottle upon principle; but there was no getting at the bottle except
+through the wife, and it so happened that by the time it reached him
+there was little consolation left in it. Neal bore all in silence; for
+silence, his friend had often told him, was a proof of wisdom.
+
+Soon after this, Neal one evening met Mr. O’Connor by chance upon a
+plank which crossed a river. This plank was only a foot in breadth, so
+that no two individuals could pass each other upon it. We cannot find
+words in which to express the dismay of both on finding that they
+absolutely glided past each other without collision.
+
+Both paused and surveyed each other solemnly; but the astonishment was
+all on the side of Mr. O’Connor.
+
+“Neal,” said the schoolmaster, “by all the household gods, I conjure you
+to speak, that I may be assured you live!”
+
+The ghost of a blush crossed the churchyard visage of the tailor.
+
+“Oh!” he exclaimed, “why the divil did you tempt me to marry a wife?”
+
+“Neal,” said his friend, “answer me in the most solemn manner possible;
+throw into your countenance all the gravity you can assume; speak as if
+you were under the hands of the hangman, with the rope about your neck,
+for the question is indeed a trying one which I am about to put. Are you
+still ‘blue-moulded for want of a beating’?”
+
+The tailor collected himself to make a reply; he put one leg out--the
+very leg which he used to show in triumph to his friend, but, alas, how
+dwindled! He opened his waistcoat and lapped it round him until he
+looked like a weasel on its hind legs. He then raised himself up on his
+tiptoes, and, in an awful whisper, replied, “No!!! the divil a bit I’m
+blue-mowlded for want of a batin’!”
+
+The schoolmaster shook his head in his own miserable manner; but, alas!
+he soon perceived that the tailor was as great an adept at shaking the
+head as himself. Nay, he saw that there was a calamitous refinement, a
+delicacy of shake in the tailor’s vibrations, which gave to his own nod
+a very commonplace character.
+
+The next day the tailor took in his clothes; and from time to time
+continued to adjust them to the dimensions of his shrinking person. The
+schoolmaster and he, whenever they could steal a moment, met and
+sympathised together. Mr. O’Connor, however, bore up somewhat better
+than Neal. The latter was subdued in heart and in spirit, thoroughly,
+completely, and intensely vanquished. His features became sharpened by
+misery, for a termagant wife is the whetstone on which all the
+calamities of a henpecked husband are painted by the devil. He no longer
+strutted as he was wont to do, he no longer carried a cudgel as if he
+wished to wage a universal battle with mankind. He was now a married
+man. Sneakingly, and with a cowardly crawl, did he creep along, as if
+every step brought him nearer to the gallows. The schoolmaster’s march
+of misery was far slower than Neal’s, the latter distanced him. Before
+three years passed he had shrunk up so much that he could not walk
+abroad of a windy day without carrying weights in his pockets to keep
+him firm on the earth which he once trod with the step of a giant. He
+again sought the schoolmaster, with whom, indeed, he associated as much
+as possible. Here he felt certain of receiving sympathy; nor was he
+disappointed. That worthy but miserable man and Neal often retired
+beyond the hearing of their respective wives, and supported each other
+by every argument in their power. Often have they been heard in the dusk
+of evening singing behind a remote hedge that melancholy ditty, “Let us
+_both_ be unhappy together,” which rose upon the twilight breeze with a
+cautious quaver of sorrow truly heartrending and lugubrious.
+
+“Neal,” said Mr. O’Connor on one of those occasions, “here is a book
+which I recommend to your perusal; it is called ‘The Afflicted Man’s
+Companion’; try if you cannot glean some consolation out of it.”
+
+“Faith,” said Neal, “I’m forever oblaged to you, but I don’t want it.
+I’ve had ‘The Afflicted Man’s Companion’ too long, and not an atom o’
+consolation I can get out of it. I have _one_ o’ them, I tell you; but,
+be my sowl, I’ll not undertake _a pair_ o’ them. The very name’s enough
+for me.” They then separated.
+
+The tailor’s vis vitae must have been powerful or he would have died. In
+two years more his friends could not distinguish him from his own
+shadow, a circumstance which was of great inconvenience to him. Several
+grasped at the hand of the shadow instead of his; and one man was near
+paying it five and sixpence for making a pair of small-clothes. Neal, it
+is true, undeceived him with some trouble, but candidly admitted that he
+was not able to carry home the money. It was difficult, indeed, for the
+poor tailor to bear what he felt; it is true he bore it as long as he
+could; but at length he became suicidal, and often had thoughts of
+“making his own quietus with his bare bodkin.” After many deliberations
+and afflictions, he ultimately made the attempt; but, alas! he found
+that the blood of the Malones refused to flow upon so ignominious an
+occasion. So _he_ solved the phenomenon; although the truth was that his
+blood was not “i’ the vein” for it; none was to be had. What then was to
+be done? He resolved to get rid of life by some process, and the next
+that occurred to him was hanging. In a solemn spirit he prepared a
+selvage, and suspended himself from the rafter of his workshop. But here
+another disappointment awaited him, he would not hang. Such was his want
+of gravity that his own weight proved insufficient to occasion his death
+by mere suspension. His third attempt was at drowning; but he was too
+light to sink; all the elements, all his own energies, joined
+themselves, he thought, in a wicked conspiracy to save his life. Having
+thus tried every avenue to destruction, and failed in all, he felt like
+a man doomed to live forever. Henceforward he shrank and shrivelled by
+slow degrees, until in the course of time he became so attenuated that
+the grossness of human vision could no longer reach him.
+
+This, however, could not last always. Though still alive, he was to all
+intents and purposes imperceptible. He could only now be heard; he was
+reduced to a mere essence; the very echo of human existence, vox
+etpraeterea nihil. It is true the schoolmaster asserted that he
+occasionally caught passing glimpses of him; but that was because he had
+been himself nearly spiritualised by affliction, and his visual ray
+purged in the furnace of domestic tribulation. By-and-by Neal’s voice
+lessened, got fainter and more indistinct, until at length nothing but a
+doubtful murmur could be heard, which ultimately could scarcely be
+distinguished from a ringing in the ears.
+
+Such was the awful and mysterious fate of the tailor, who, as a hero,
+could not, of course, die; he merely dissolved like an icicle, wasted
+into immateriality, and finally melted away beyond the perception of
+mortal sense. Mr. O’Connor is still living, and once more in the fulness
+of perfect health and strength. His wife, however, we may as well hint,
+has been dead more than two years.
+
+
+
+
+THE BANSHEE
+
+(ANONYMOUS)
+
+
+Of all the superstitions prevalent amongst the natives of Ireland at any
+period, past or present, there is none so grand or fanciful, none which
+has been so universally assented to or so cordially cherished, as the
+belief in the existence of the banshee. There are very few, however
+remotely acquainted with Irish life or Irish history, but must have
+heard or read of the Irish banshee; still, as there are different
+stories and different opinions afloat respecting this strange being, I
+think a little explanation concerning her appearance, functions, and
+habits will not be unacceptable to my readers.
+
+The banshee, then, is said to be an immaterial and immortal being,
+attached, time out of mind, to various respectable and ancient families
+in Ireland, and is said always to appear to announce, by cries and
+lamentations, the death of any member of that family to which she
+belongs. She always comes at night, a short time previous to the death
+of the fated one, and takes her stand outside, convenient to the house,
+and there utters the most plaintive cries and lamentations, generally in
+some unknown language, and in a tone of voice resembling a human female.
+She continues her visits night after night, unless vexed or annoyed,
+until the mourned object dies, and sometimes she is said to continue
+about the house for several nights after. Sometimes she is said to
+appear in the shape of a most beautiful young damsel, and dressed in the
+most elegant and fantastic garments; but her general appearance is in
+the likeness of a very old woman, of small stature and bending and
+decrepit form, enveloped in a winding-sheet or grave-dress, and her
+long, white, hoary hair waving over her shoulders and descending to her
+feet. At other times she is dressed in the costume of the middle
+ages--the different articles of her clothing being of the richest
+material and of a sable hue. She is very shy and easily irritated, and,
+when once annoyed or vexed, she flies away, and never returns during the
+same generation. When the death of the person whom she mourns is
+contingent, or to occur by unforeseen accident, she is particularly
+agitated and troubled in her appearance, and unusually loud and mournful
+in her lamentations. Some would fain have it that this strange being is
+actuated by a feeling quite inimical to the interests of the family
+which she haunts, and that she comes with joy and triumph to announce
+their misfortunes. This opinion, however, is rejected by most people,
+who imagine her their most devoted friend, and that she was, at some
+remote period, a member of the family, and once existed on the earth in
+life and loveliness. It is not every Irish family can claim the honour
+of an attendant banshee; they must be respectably descended, and of
+ancient line, to have any just pretensions to a warning spirit. However,
+she does not appear to be influenced by the difference of creed or
+clime, provided there be no other impediment, as several Protestant
+families of Norman and Anglo-Saxon origin boast of their own banshee;
+and to this hour several noble and distinguished families in the country
+feel proud of the surveillance of that mysterious being. Neither is she
+influenced by the circumstances of rank or fortune, as she is oftener
+found frequenting the cabin of the peasant than the baronial mansion of
+the lord of thousands. Even the humble family to which the writer of
+this tale belongs has long claimed the honourable appendage of a
+banshee; and it may, perhaps, excite an additional interest in my
+readers when I inform them that my present story is associated with her
+last visit to that family.
+
+Some years ago there dwelt in the vicinity of Mountrath, in the Queen’s
+County, a farmer, whose name for obvious reasons we shall not at present
+disclose. He never was married, and his only domestics were a
+servant-boy and an old woman, a housekeeper, who had long been a
+follower or dependent of the family. He was born and educated in the
+Roman Catholic Church, but on arriving at manhood, for reasons best
+known to himself, he abjured the tenets of that creed and conformed to
+the doctrines of Protestantism. However, in after years he seemed to
+waver, and refused going to church, and by his manner of living seemed
+to favour the dogmas of infidelity or atheism. He was rather dark and
+reserved in his manner, and oftentimes sullen and gloomy in his temper;
+and this, joined with his well-known disregard of religion, served to
+render him somewhat unpopular amongst his neighbours and acquaintances.
+However, he was in general respected, and was never insulted or annoyed.
+He was considered as an honest, inoffensive man, and as he was well
+supplied with firearms and ammunition,--in the use of which he was well
+practised, having, in his early days, served several years in a yeomanry
+corps,--few liked to disturb him, even had they been so disposed. He was
+well educated, and decidedly hostile to every species of superstition,
+and was constantly jeering his old housekeeper, who was extremely
+superstitious, and pretended to be entirely conversant with every matter
+connected with witchcraft and the fairy world. He seldom darkened a
+neighbour’s door, and scarcely ever asked any one to enter his, but
+generally spent his leisure hours in reading, of which he was extremely
+fond, or in furbishing his firearms, to which he was still more
+attached, or in listening to and laughing at the wild and blood-curdling
+stories of old Moya, with which her memory abounded. Thus he spent his
+time until the period at which our tale commences, when he was about
+fifty years of age, and old Moya, the housekeeper, had become extremely
+feeble, stooped, and of very ugly and forbidding exterior. One morning
+in the month of November, A.D. 1818, this man arose before daylight, and
+on coming out of the apartment where he slept he was surprised at
+finding old Moya in the kitchen, sitting over the raked-up fire, and
+smoking her tobacco-pipe in a very serious and meditative mood.
+
+“Arrah, Moya,” said he, “what brings you out of your bed so early?”
+
+“Och musha, I dunna,” replied the old woman; “I was so uneasy all night
+that I could not sleep a wink, and I got up to smoke a blast, thinkin’
+that it might drive away the weight that’s on my heart.”
+
+“And what ails you, Moya? Are you sick, or what came over you?”
+
+“No, the Lord be praised! I am not sick, but my heart is sore, and
+there’s a load on my spirits that would kill a hundred.”
+
+“Maybe you were dreaming, or something that way,” said the man, in a
+bantering tone, and suspecting, from the old woman’s grave manner, that
+she was labouring under some mental delusion.
+
+“Dreaming!” reechoed Moya, with a bitter sneer; “ay, dreaming. Och, I
+wish to God I was _only dreaming_; but I am very much afraid it is worse
+than that, and that there is trouble and misfortune hanging over uz.”
+
+“And what makes you think so, Moya?” asked he, with a half-suppressed
+smile.
+
+Moya, aware of his well-known hostility to every species of
+superstition, remained silent, biting her lips and shaking her gray head
+prophetically.
+
+“Why don’t you answer me, Moya?” again asked the man.
+
+“Och,” said Moya, “I am heart-scalded to have it to tell you, and I know
+you will laugh at me; but, say what you will, there is something bad
+over uz, for the banshee was about the house all night, and she has me
+almost frightened out of my wits with her shouting and bawling.”
+
+The man was aware of the banshee’s having been long supposed to haunt
+his family, but often scouted that supposition; yet, as it was some
+years since he had last heard of her visiting the place, he was not
+prepared for the freezing announcement of old Moya. He turned as pale as
+a corpse, and trembled excessively; at last, recollecting himself, he
+said, with a forced smile:
+
+“And how do you know it was the banshee, Moya?”
+
+“How do I know?” reiterated Moya, tauntingly. “Didn’t I see and hear her
+several times during the night? and more than that, didn’t I hear the
+dead-coach rattling round the house, and through the yard, every night
+at midnight this week back, as if it would tear the house out of the
+foundation?”
+
+The man smiled faintly; he was frightened, yet was ashamed to appear so.
+He again said:
+
+“And did you ever see the banshee before, Moya?”
+
+“Yes,” replied Moya, “often. Didn’t I see her when your mother died?
+Didn’t I see her when your brother was drowned? and sure, there wasn’t
+one of the family that went these sixty years that I did not both see
+and hear her.”
+
+“And where did you see her, and what way did she look to-night?”
+
+“I saw her at the little window over my bed; a kind of reddish light
+shone round the house; I looked up, and there I saw her old, pale face
+and glassy eyes looking in, and she rocking herself to and fro, and
+clapping her little, withered hands, and crying as if her very heart
+would break.”
+
+“Well, Moya, it’s all imagination; go, now, and prepare my breakfast, as
+I want to go to Maryborough to-day, and I must be home early.”
+
+Moya trembled; she looked at him imploringly and said: “For Heaven’s
+sake, John, don’t go to-day; stay till some other day, and God bless
+you; for if you go to-day I would give my oath there will something
+cross you that’s bad.”
+
+“Nonsense, woman!” said he; “make haste and get me my breakfast.”
+
+Moya, with tears in her eyes, set about getting the breakfast ready; and
+whilst she was so employed John was engaged in making preparations for
+his journey.
+
+Having now completed his other arrangements, he sat down to breakfast,
+and, having concluded it, he arose to depart.
+
+Moya ran to the door, crying loudly; she flung herself on her knees, and
+said: “John, John, be advised. Don’t go to-day; take my advice; I know
+more of the world than you do, and I see plainly that if you go you will
+never enter this door again with your life.”
+
+Ashamed to be influenced by the drivellings of an old cullough, he
+pushed her away with his hand, and, going out to the stable, mounted his
+horse and departed. Moya followed him with her eyes whilst in sight; and
+when she could no longer see him, she sat down at the fire and wept
+bitterly.
+
+It was a bitter cold day, and the farmer, having finished his business
+in town, feeling himself chilly, went into a public-house to have a
+tumbler of punch and feed his horse; there he met an old friend, who
+would not part with him until he would have another glass with him and a
+little conversation, as it was many years since they had met before. One
+glass brought another, and it was almost duskish ere John thought of
+returning, and, having nearly ten miles to travel, it would be dark
+night before he could get home. Still his friend would not permit him to
+go, but called for more liquor, and it was far advanced in the night
+before they parted. John, however, had a good horse, and, having had him
+well fed, he did not spare whip or spur, but dashed along at a rapid
+pace through the gloom and silence of the winter’s night, and had
+already distanced the town upward of five miles, when, on arriving at a
+very desolate part of the road, a gunshot, fired from behind the bushes,
+put an end to his mortal existence. Two strange men, who had been at the
+same public-house in Maryborough drinking, observing that he had money
+and learning the road that he was to travel, conspired to rob and murder
+him, and waylaid him in this lonely spot for that horrid purpose.
+
+Poor Moya did not go to bed that night, but sat at the fire, every
+moment impatiently expecting his return. Often did she listen at the
+door to try if she could hear the tramp of the horse’s footsteps
+approaching. But in vain; no sound met her ear except the sad wail of
+the night wind, moaning fitfully through the tall bushes which
+surrounded the ancient dwelling, or the sullen roar of a little dark
+river, which wound its way through the lowlands at a small distance from
+where she stood. Tired with watching, at length she fell asleep on the
+hearth-stone; but that sleep was disturbed and broken, and frightful and
+appalling dreams incessantly haunted her imagination.
+
+At length the darksome morning appeared struggling through the wintry
+clouds, and Moya again opened the door to look out. But what was her
+dismay when she found the horse standing at the stable door without his
+rider, and the saddle all besmeared with clotted blood. She raised the
+death-cry; the neighbours thronged round, and it was at once declared
+that the hapless man was robbed and murdered. A party on horseback
+immediately set forward to seek him, and on arriving at the fatal spot
+he was found stretched on his back in the ditch, his head perforated
+with shot and slugs, and his body literally immersed in a pool of blood.
+On examining him it was found that his money was gone, and a valuable
+gold watch and appendages abstracted from his pocket. His remains were
+conveyed home, and, after having been waked the customary time, were
+committed to the grave of his ancestors in the little green churchyard
+of the village.
+
+Having no legitimate children, the nearest heir to his property was a
+brother, a cabinet-maker, who resided in London. A letter was
+accordingly despatched to the brother announcing the sad catastrophe,
+and calling on him to come and take possession of the property; and two
+men were appointed to guard the place until he should arrive.
+
+The two men delegated to act as guardians, or, as they are technically
+termed, “keepers,” were old friends and comrades of the deceased, and
+had served with him in the same yeomanry corps. Jack O’Malley was a
+Roman Catholic--a square, stout-built, and handsome fellow, with a
+pleasant word for every one, and full of that gaiety, vivacity, and
+nonchalance for which the Roman Catholic peasantry of Ireland are so
+particularly distinguished. He was now about forty-five years of age,
+sternly attached to the dogmas of his religion, and always remarkable
+for his revolutionary and anti-British principles. He was brave as a
+lion, and never quailed before a man; but, though caring so little for a
+_living_ man, he was extremely afraid of a _dead_ one, and would go ten
+miles out of his road at night to avoid passing a “rath,” or “haunted
+bush.” Harry Taylor, on the other hand, was a staunch Protestant; a
+tall, genteel-looking man, of proud and imperious aspect, and full of
+reserve and hauteur--the natural consequence of a consciousness of
+political and religious ascendency and superiority of intelligence and
+education, which so conspicuously marked the demeanour of the Protestant
+peasantry of those days. Harry, too, loved his glass as well as Jack,
+but was of a more peaceful disposition, and as he was well educated and
+intelligent, he was utterly opposed to superstition, and laughed to
+scorn the mere idea of ghosts, goblins, and fairies. Thus Jack and Harry
+were diametrically opposed to each other in every point except their
+love of the cruiskeen, yet they never failed to seize every opportunity
+of being together; and, although they often blackened each other’s eyes
+in their political and religious disputes, yet their quarrels were
+always amicably settled, and they never found themselves happy but in
+each other’s society.
+
+It was now the sixth or seventh night that Jack and Harry, as usual,
+kept their lonely watch in the kitchen of the murdered man. A large turf
+fire blazed brightly on the hearth, and on a bed of straw in the ample
+chimney-corner was stretched old Moya in a profound sleep. On the
+hearthstone, between the two friends, stood a small oak table, on which
+was placed a large decanter of whisky, a jug of boiled water, and a bowl
+of sugar; and, as if to add an idea of security to that of comfort, on
+one end of the table were placed in saltier a formidable-looking
+blunderbuss and a brace of large brass pistols. Jack and his comrade
+perpetually renewed their acquaintance with the whisky-bottle, and
+laughed and chatted and recounted the adventures of their young days
+with as much hilarity as if the house which now witnessed their mirth
+never echoed to the cry of death or blood. In the course of conversation
+Jack mentioned the incident of the strange appearance of the banshee,
+and expressed a hope that she would not come that night to disturb their
+carouse.
+
+“Banshee the devil!” shouted Harry; “how superstitious you papists are!
+I would like to see the phiz of any man, dead or alive, who dare make
+his appearance here to-night.” And, seizing the blunderbuss, and looking
+wickedly at Jack, he vociferated, “By Hercules, I would drive the
+contents of this through their sowls who dare annoy us.”
+
+“Better for you to shoot your mother than fire at the banshee, anyhow,”
+remarked Jack.
+
+“Psha!” said Harry, looking contemptuously at his companion. “I would
+think no more of riddling the old jade’s hide than I would of throwing
+off this tumbler;” and, to suit the action to the word, he drained off
+another bumper of whisky-punch.
+
+“Jack,” says Harry, “now that we are in such prime humour, will you give
+us a song?”
+
+“With all the veins of my heart,” says Jack. “What will it be?”
+
+“Anything you please; your will must be my pleasure,” answered Harry.
+
+Jack, after coughing and clearing his pipes, chanted forth, in a bold
+and musical voice, a rude rigmarole called “The Royal Blackbird,” which,
+although of no intrinsic merit, yet, as it expressed sentiments hostile
+to British connection and British government and favourable to the house
+of Stewart, was very popular amongst the Catholic peasantry of Ireland,
+whilst, on the contrary, it was looked upon by the Protestants as highly
+offensive and disloyal. Harry, however, wished his companion too well to
+oppose the song, and he quietly awaited its conclusion.
+
+“Bravo, Jack,” said Harry, as soon as the song was ended; “that you may
+never lose your wind.”
+
+“In the king’s name now I board you for another song,” says Jack.
+
+Harry, without hesitation, recognised his friend’s right to demand a
+return, and he instantly trolled forth, in a deep, sweet, and sonorous
+voice, the following:
+
+ SONG.
+
+ “Ho, boys, I have a song divine!
+ Come, let us now in concert join,
+ And toast the bonny banks of Boyne--
+ The Boyne of ‘Glorious Memory.’
+
+ “On Boyne’s famed banks our fathers bled;
+ Boyne’s surges with their blood ran red;
+ And from the Boyne our foemen fled--
+ Intolerance, chains, and slavery.
+
+ “Dark superstition’s blood-stained sons
+ Pressed on, but ‘crack’ went William’s guns,
+ And soon the gloomy monster runs--
+ Fell, hydra-headed bigotry.
+
+ “Then fill your glasses high and fair,
+ Let shouts of triumph rend the air,
+ Whilst Georgy fills the regal chair
+ We’ll never bow to Popery.”
+
+Jack, whose countenance had, from the commencement of the song,
+indicated his aversion to the sentiments it expressed, now lost all
+patience at hearing his darling “Popery” impugned, and, seizing one of
+the pistols which lay on the table and whirling it over his comrade’s
+head, swore vehemently that he would “fracture his skull if he did not
+instantly drop that blackguard Orange lampoon.”
+
+“Aisy, avhic,” said Harry, quietly pushing away the upraised arm; “I did
+not oppose your bit of treason awhile ago, and besides, the latter end
+of my song is more calculated to please you than to irritate your
+feelings.”
+
+Jack seemed pacified, and Harry continued his strain.
+
+
+ “And fill a bumper to the brim--
+ A flowing one--and drink to him
+ Who, let the world go sink or swim,
+ Would arm for Britain’s liberty.
+
+ “No matter what may be his hue,
+ Or black, or white, or green, or blue,
+ Or Papist, Paynim, or Hindoo,
+ We’ll drink to him right cordially.”
+
+Jack was so pleased with the friendly turn which the latter part of
+Harry’s song took that he joyfully stretched out his hand, and even
+joined in chorus to the concluding stanza.
+
+The fire had now decayed on the hearth, the whisky-bottle was almost
+emptied, and the two sentinels, getting drowsy, put out the candle and
+laid down their heads to slumber. The song and the laugh and the jest
+were now hushed, and no sound was to be heard but the incessant “click,
+click,” of the clock in the inner room and the deep, heavy breathing of
+old Moya in the chimney-corner.
+
+They had slept they knew not how long when the old hag awakened with a
+wild shriek. She jumped out of bed, and crouched between the men; they
+started up, and asked her what had happened.
+
+“Oh!” she exclaimed; “the banshee, the banshee! Lord have mercy on us!
+she is come again, and I never heard her so wild and outrageous before.”
+
+Jack O’Malley readily believed old Moya’s tale; so did Harry, but he
+thought it might be some one who was committing some depredation on the
+premises. They both listened attentively, but could hear nothing; they
+opened the kitchen door, but all was still; they looked abroad; it was a
+fine, calm night, and myriads of twinkling stars were burning in the
+deep-blue heavens. They proceeded around the yard and hay-yard; but all
+was calm and lonely, and no sound saluted their ears but the shrill
+barking of some neighbouring cur, or the sluggish murmuring of the
+little tortuous river in the distance. Satisfied that “all was right,”
+they again went in, replenished the expiring fire, and sat down to
+finish whatever still remained in the whisky-bottle.
+
+They had not sat many minutes when a wild, unearthly cry was heard
+without.
+
+“The banshee again,” said Moya, faintly. Jack O’Malley’s soul sank
+within him; Harry started up and seized the blunderbuss; Jack caught his
+arm. “No, no, Harry, you shall not; sit down; there’s no fear--nothing
+will happen us.”
+
+Harry sat down, but still gripped the blunderbuss, and Jack lit his
+tobacco-pipe, whilst the old woman was on her knees, striking her
+breast, and repeating her prayers with great vehemence.
+
+The sad cry was again heard, louder and fiercer than before. It now
+seemed to proceed from the window, and again it appeared as if issuing
+from the door. At times it would seem as if coming from afar, whilst
+again it would appear as if coming down the chimney or springing from
+the ground beneath their feet. Sometimes the cry resembled the low,
+plaintive wail of a female in distress, and in a moment it was raised to
+a prolonged yell, loud and furious, and as if coming from a thousand
+throats; now the sound resembled a low, melancholy chant, and then was
+quickly changed to a loud, broken, demoniac laugh. It continued thus,
+with little intermission, for about a quarter of an hour, when it died
+away, and was succeeded by a heavy, creaking sound, as if of some large
+waggon, amidst which the loud tramp of horses’ footsteps might be
+distinguished, accompanied with a strong, rushing wind. This strange
+noise proceeded round and round the house two or three times, then went
+down the lane which led to the road, and was heard no more. Jack
+O’Malley stood aghast, and Harry Taylor, with all his philosophy and
+scepticism, was astonished and frightened.
+
+“A dreadful night this, Moya,” said Jack.
+
+“Yes,” said she, “that is the dead-coach; I often heard it before, and
+have sometimes seen it.”
+
+“Seen, did you say?” said Harry; “pray describe it.”
+
+“Why,” replied the old crone, “it’s like any other coach, but twice as
+big, and hung over with black cloth, and a black coffin on the top of
+it, and drawn by headless black horses.”
+
+“Heaven protect us!” ejaculated Jack.
+
+“It is very strange,” remarked Harry.
+
+“But,” continued Moya, “it always comes before the death of a person,
+and I wonder what brought it now, unless it came with the banshee.”
+
+“Maybe it’s coming for you,” said Harry, with an arch yet subdued smile.
+
+“No, no,” she said; “I am none of that family at all at all.”
+
+A solemn silence now ensued for a few minutes, and they thought all was
+vanished, when again the dreadful cry struck heavily on their ears.
+
+“Open the door, Jack,” said Harry, “and put out Hector.”
+
+Hector was a large and very ferocious mastiff belonging to Jack
+O’Malley, and always accompanied him wherever he went.
+
+Jack opened the door and attempted to put out the dog, but the poor
+animal refused to go, and, as his master attempted to force him, howled
+in a loud and mournful tone.
+
+“You must go,” said Harry, and he caught him in his arms and flung him
+over the half-door. The poor dog was scarcely on the ground when he was
+whirled aloft into the air by some invisible power, and he fell again to
+earth lifeless, and the pavement was besmeared with his entrails and
+blood.
+
+Harry now lost all patience, and again seizing his blunderbuss, he
+exclaimed: “Come, Jack, my boy, take your pistols and follow me; I have
+but one life to lose, and I will venture it to have a crack at this
+infernal demon.”
+
+“I will follow you to death’s doors,” said Jack; “but I would not fire
+at the banshee for a million of worlds.”
+
+Moya seized Harry by the skirts. “Don’t go out,” she cried; “let her
+alone while she lets you alone, for an hour’s luck never shone on any
+one that ever molested the banshee.”
+
+“Psha, woman!” said Harry, and he pushed away poor Moya contemptuously.
+
+The two men now sallied forth; the wild cry still continued, and it
+seemed to issue from amongst some stacks in the hay-yard behind the
+house. They went round and paused; again they heard the cry, and Harry
+elevated his blunderbuss.
+
+“Don’t fire,” said Jack.
+
+Harry replied not; he looked scornfully at Jack, then put his finger on
+the trigger, and--bang--away it exploded with a thundering sound. An
+extraordinary scream was now heard, ten times louder and more terrific
+than they heard before. Their hair stood erect on their heads, and huge,
+round drops of sweat ran down their faces in quick succession. A glare
+of reddish-blue fight shone around the stacks; the rumbling of the
+dead-coach was again heard coming; it drove up to the house, drawn by
+six headless sable horses, and the figure of a withered old hag,
+encircled with blue flame, was seen running nimbly across the hay-yard.
+She entered the ominous carriage, and it drove away with a horrible
+sound. It swept through the tall bushes which surrounded the house; and
+as it disappeared the old hag cast a thrilling scowl at the two men, and
+waved her fleshless arms at them vengefully. It was soon lost to sight;
+but the unearthly creaking of the wheels, the tramping of the horses,
+and the appalling cries of the banshee continued to assail their ears
+for a considerable time after all had vanished.
+
+The brave fellows now returned to the house; they again made fast the
+door, and reloaded their arms. Nothing, however, came to disturb them
+that night, nor from that time forward; and the arrival of the dead
+man’s brother from London, in a few days after, relieved them from their
+irksome task.
+
+Old Moya did not live long after; she declined from that remarkable
+night, and her remains were decently interred in the churchyard
+adjoining the last earthly tenement of the loved family to which she had
+been so long and so faithfully attached.
+
+The insulted banshee has never since returned; and although several
+members of that family have since closed their mortal career, still the
+warning cry was never given; and it is supposed that the injured spirit
+will never visit her ancient haunts until every one of the existing
+generation shall have “slept with their fathers.”
+
+Jack O’Malley and his friend Harry lived some years after. Their
+friendship still continued undiminished; like “Tam O’Shanter” and
+“Souter Johnny,” they still continued to love each other like “a very
+brither”; and like that jovial pair, also, our two comrades were often
+“fou for weeks thegither,” and often over their cruiskeen would they
+laugh at their strange adventure with the banshee. It is now, however,
+all over with them too; their race is run, and they are now “tenants of
+the tomb.”
+
+
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+<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Stories by English Authors: Ireland, by George H. Jessop</p>
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+
+<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Stories by English Authors: Ireland</p>
+<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Authors: George H. Jessop</p>
+<p style='display:block; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em;'>Jane Barlow</p>
+<p style='display:block; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em;'>John Banim</p>
+<p style='display:block; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em;'>Anonymous</p>
+<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: July, 2004 [eBook #6040]<br />
+[Last updated: April 19, 2022</p>
+<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
+ <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks, Nicole Apostola and The Online Distributed Proofreading Team.</p>
+<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STORIES BY ENGLISH AUTHORS: IRELAND ***</div>
+<hr class="full" />
+
+
+<div class="c">
+<img src="images/cover.jpg" height="500" alt="" />
+</div>
+<h1>STORIES BY ENGLISH AUTHORS<br /><br />
+IRELAND</h1>
+
+<table cellpadding="0">
+<tr><td class="smcap"><a href="#THE_GRIDIRON">The Gridiron</a></td><td>By Samuel Lover</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="smcap"><a href="#THE_EMERGENCY_MEN">The Emergency Men</a>&#160; &#160; </td><td>By George H. Jessop</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="smcap"><a href="#A_LOST_RECRUIT">A Lost Recruit</a></td><td>By Jane Barlow</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="smcap"><a href="#THE_RIVAL_DREAMERS">The Rival Dreamers</a>&#160; &#160; </td><td>By John Banim</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="smcap"><a href="#NEAL_MALONE">Neal Malone</a></td><td>By William Carleton</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="smcap"><a href="#THE_BANSHEE">The Banshee</a></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>
+</table>
+
+<h2><a name="THE_GRIDIRON" id="THE_GRIDIRON"></a>THE GRIDIRON<br /><br />
+BY SAMUEL LOVER</h2>
+
+<p class="nind"><span class="letra">A</span> CERTAIN old gentleman in the west of Ireland, whose love of the
+ridiculous quite equalled his taste for claret and fox-hunting, was
+wont, upon festive occasions, when opportunity offered, to amuse his
+friends by <i>drawing out</i> one of his servants, exceedingly fond of what
+he termed, his “thravels,” and in whom a good deal of whim, some queer
+stories, and, perhaps more than all, long and faithful services had
+established a right of loquacity. He was one of those few trusty and
+privileged domestics who, if his master unheedingly uttered a rash thing
+in a fit of passion, would venture to set him right. If the squire said,
+“I’ll turn that rascal off,” my friend Pat would say, “Throth you won’t,
+sir;” and Pat was always right, for if any altercation arose upon the
+“subject-matter in hand,” he was sure to throw in some good reason,
+either from former services&mdash;general good conduct&mdash;or the delinquent’s
+“wife and children,” that always turned the scale.</p>
+
+<p>But I am digressing. On such merry meetings as I have alluded to, the
+master, after making certain “approaches,” as a military man would say,
+as the preparatory steps in laying siege to some extravaganza of his
+servant, might, perchance, assail Pat thus: “By the by, Sir John”
+(addressing a distinguished guest), “Pat has a very curious story, which
+something you told me to-day reminds me of. You remember, Pat” (turning
+to the man, evidently pleased at the notice thus paid to himself)&mdash;“you
+remember that queer adventure you had in France?”</p>
+
+<p>“Throth I do, sir,” grins forth Pat.</p>
+
+<p>“What!” exclaims Sir John, in feigned surprise, “was Pat ever in
+France?”</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed he was,” cries mine host; and Pat adds, “Ay, and farther, plase
+your honour.”</p>
+
+<p>“I assure you, Sir John,” continues mine host, “Pat told me a story once
+that surprised me very much, respecting the ignorance of the French.”</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed!” rejoined the baronet; “really, I always supposed the French to
+be a most accomplished people.”</p>
+
+<p>“Throth, then, they’re not, sir,” interrupts Pat.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, by no means,” adds mine host, shaking his head emphatically.</p>
+
+<p>“I believe, Pat, ’twas when you were crossing the Atlantic?” says the
+master, turning to Pat with a seductive air, and leading into the “full
+and true account” (for Pat had thought fit to visit North Amerikay, for
+“a raison he had,” in the autumn of the year ninety-eight).</p>
+
+<p>“Yes, sir,” says Pat, “the broad Atlantic”&mdash;a favourite phrase of his,
+which he gave with a brogue as broad, almost, as the Atlantic itself.</p>
+
+<p>“It was the time I was lost in crassin’ the broad Atlantic, a-comin’
+home,” began Pat, decoyed into the recital; “whin the winds began to
+blow, and the saw to rowl, that you’d think the Colleen Dhas (that was
+her name) would not have a mast left but what would rowl out of her.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, sure enough, the masts went by the hoard, at last, and the pumps
+were choked (divil choke them for that same), and av coorse the wather
+gained an us; and, throth, to be filled with wather is neither good for
+man or baste; and she was sinkin’ fast, settlin’ down, as the sailors
+call it; and, faith, I never was good at settlin’ down in my life, and I
+liked it then less nor ever. Accordingly we prepared for the worst, and
+put out the boot, and got a sack o’ bishkits and a cask o’ pork and a
+kag o’ wather and a thrifle o’ rum aboord, and any other little matthers
+we could think iv in the mortial hurry we wor in&mdash;and, faith, there was
+no time to be lost, for, my darlint, the Colleen Dhas went down like a
+lump o’ lead afore we wor many sthrokes o’ the oar away from her.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, we dhrifted away all that night, and next mornin’ we put up a
+blanket an the end av a pole as well as we could, and then we sailed
+illegant; for we darn’t show a stitch o’ canvas the night before, bekase
+it was blowin’ like bloody murther, savin’ your presence, and sure it’s
+the wondher of the worid we worn’t swally’d alive by the ragin’ sae.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, away we wint, for more nor a week, and nothin’ before our two
+good-lookin’ eyes but the canophy iv heaven and the wide ocean&mdash;the
+broad Atlantic; not a thing was to be seen but the sae and the sky; and
+though the sae and the sky is mighty purty things in themselves, throth,
+they’re no great things when you’ve nothin’ else to look at for a week
+together; and the barest rock in the world, so it was land, would be
+more welkim. And then, soon enough, throth, our provisions began to run
+low, the bishkits and the wather and the rum&mdash;throth, <i>that</i> was gone
+first of all&mdash;God help uz!&mdash;and oh! it was thin that starvation began to
+stare us in the face. ‘O murther, murther, Captain darlint,’ says I, ‘I
+wish we could land anywhere,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>More power to your elbow, Paddy, my boy,’ says he, ‘for sitch a good
+wish, and, throth, it’s myself wishes the same.’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Och,’ says I, ‘that it may plase you, sweet queen iv heaven, supposing
+it was only a <i>dissolute</i> island,’ says I, ‘inhabited wid Turks, sure
+they wouldn’t be such bad Chrishthans as to refuse us a bit and a sup.’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Whisht, whisht, Paddy,’ says the captain, ‘don’t be talking bad of any
+one,’ says he; ‘you don’t know how soon you may want a good word put in
+for yourself, if you should be called to quarthers in th’ other world
+all of a suddint,” says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Thrue for you, Captain darlint,’ says I&mdash;I called him darlint, and
+made free with him, you see, bekase disthress makes us all equal&mdash;’thrue
+for you, Captain jewel&mdash;God betune uz and harm, I own no man any
+spite’&mdash;and, throth, that was only thruth. Well, the last bishkit was
+sarved out, and, by gor, the <i>wather itself</i> was all gone at last, and
+we passed the night mighty cowld. Well, at the brake o’ day the sun riz
+most beautifully out o’ the waves, that was as bright as silver and as
+clear as chrystal. But it was only the more cruel upon us, for we wor
+beginnin’ to feel <i>terrible</i> hungry; when all at wanst I thought I spied
+the land. By gor, I thought I felt my heart up in my throat in a minit,
+and ‘Thunder an’ turf, Captain,’ says I, ‘look to leeward,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>What for?’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>I think I see the land,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“So hes ups with his bring-’em-near (that’s what the sailors call a
+spy-glass, sir), and looks out, and, sure enough, it was.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Hurrah!’ says he, ‘we’re all right now; pull away, my boys,’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Take care you’re not mistaken,’ says I; ‘maybe it’s only a fog-bank,
+Captain darlint,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Oh no,’ says he; ‘it’s the land in airnest.’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Oh, then, whereaboats in the wide world are we, Captain?’ says I;
+‘maybe it id be in <i>Roosia</i>, or <i>Proosia</i>, the Garmant Oceant,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Tut, you fool,’ says he, for he had that consaited way wid him,
+thinkin’ himself cleverer nor any one else&mdash;‘tut, you fool,’ says he,
+‘that’s <i>France</i>,’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Tare an ouns,’ says I, ‘do you tell me so? and how do you know it’s
+France it is, Captain dear?’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Bekase this is the Bay o’ Bishky we’re in now,’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Throth, I was thinkin’ so myself,’ says I, ‘by the rowl it has; for I
+often heerd av it in regard of that same; and, throth, the likes av it I
+never seen before nor since, and, with the help of God, never will.’</p>
+
+<p>“Well, with that, my heart began to grow light; and when I seen my life
+was safe, I began to grow twice hungrier nor ever; so says I, ‘Captain
+jewel, I wish we had a gridiron.’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Why, then,’ says he, ‘thunder an’ turf,’ says he, ‘what puts a
+gridiron into your head?’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Bekase I’m starvin’ with the hunger,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>And, sure, bad luck to you,’ says he, ‘you couldn’t eat a gridiron,’
+says he, ‘barrin’ you were a <i>pelican</i> O’ <i>the wildherness</i>,’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Ate a gridiron!’ says I. ‘Och, in throth, I’m not such a gommoch all
+out as that, anyhow. But, sure, if we had a gridiron we could dress a
+beefstake,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Arrah! but where’s the beefstake?’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Sure, couldn’t we cut a slice aff the pork?’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>By gor, I never thought o’ that,’ says the captain. ‘You’re a clever
+fellow, Paddy,’ says he, laughin’.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Oh, there’s many a true word said in joke,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Thrue for you, Paddy,’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Well, then,’ says I, ‘if you put me ashore there beyant (for we were
+nearin’ the land all the time), ‘and, sure, I can ax them for to lind me
+the loan of a gridiron,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Oh, by gor, the butther’s comin’ out o’ the stirabout in airnest now,’
+says he; ‘you gommoch,’ says he, ‘sure I told you before that’s
+France&mdash;and, sure, they’re all furriners there,’ says the captain.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Well, says I, ‘and how do you know but I’m as good a furriner myself
+as any o’ thim?’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>What do you mane?’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>I mane,’ says I, ‘what I towld you, that I’m as good a furriner myself
+as any o thim.’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Make me sinsible,’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>By dad, maybe that’s more nor me, or greater nor me, could do,’ says
+I; and we all began to laugh at him, for I thought I would pay him off
+for his bit o’ consait about the Garmant Oceant.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Lave off your humbuggin’,’ says he, ‘I bid you, and tell me what it is
+you mane at all at all.’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Parly voo frongsay?’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Oh, your humble sarvant,’ says he; ‘why, by gor, you’re a scholar,
+Paddy.’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Thruth, you may say that,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Why, you’re a clever fellow, Paddy,’ says the captain, jeerin’ like.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>You’re not the first that said that,’ says I, ‘whether you joke or
+no.’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Oh, but I’m in airnest,’ says the captain; ‘and do you tell me,
+Paddy,’ says he, ‘that you spake Frinch?’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Parly voo frongsay?’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>By gor, that bangs Banagher, and all the world knows Banagher bangs
+the divil. I never met the likes o’ you, Paddy,’ says he. ‘Pull away,
+boys, and put Paddy ashore, and maybe we won’t get a good bellyful
+before long.’</p>
+
+<p>“So, with that, it wos no sooner said nor done. They pulled away, and
+got close into shore in less than no time, and run the boat up in a
+little creek; and a beautiful creek it was, with a lovely white
+sthrand&mdash;an illegant place for ladies to bathe in the summer; and out I
+got; and it’s stiff enough in the limbs I was, afther bein’ cramped up
+in the boat, and perished with the cowld and hunger; but I conthrived to
+scramble on, one way or t’ other, tow’rd a little bit iv a wood that was
+close to the shore, and the smoke curlin’ out iv it, quite timptin’
+like.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>By the powdhers o’ war, I’m all right,’ says I; ‘there’s a house
+there.’ And, sure enough, there was, and a parcel of men, women, and
+childher, ating their dinner round a table, quite convanient. And so I
+wint up to the door, and I thought I’d be very civil to them, as I heerd
+the Frinch was always mighty p’lite intirely, and I thought I’d show
+them I knew what good manners was.</p>
+
+<p>“So I took aff my hat, and, making a low bow, says I, ‘God save all
+here,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, to be sure, they all stapt ating at wanst, and began to stare at
+me, and, faith, they almost looked me out of countenance; and I thought
+to myself, it was not good manners at all, more betoken from furriners
+which they call so mighty p’lite. But I never minded that, in regard o’
+wantin’ the gridiron; and so says I, ‘I beg your pardon,’ says I, ‘for
+the liberty I take, but it’s only bein’ in disthress in regard of
+ating,’ says I, ‘that I made bowld to throuble yez, and if you could
+lind me the loan of a gridiron,’ says I, ‘I’d be intirely obleeged to
+ye.’</p>
+
+<p>“By gor, they all stared at me twice worse nor before, and with that,
+says I (knowing what was in their minds), ‘Indeed, it’s thrue for you,’
+says I. ‘I’m tatthered to pieces, and God knows I look quare enough; but
+it’s by raison of the storm,’ says I, ‘which dhruv us ashore here below,
+and we’re all starvin’,’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“So then they began to look at each other again; and myself seeing at
+once dirty thoughts was in their heads, and that they tuk me for a poor
+beggar coming to crave charity, with that says I, ‘Oh, not at all,’ says
+I, ‘by no manes&mdash;we have plenty of mate ourselves there below, and we’ll
+dhress it,’ says I, ‘if you would be plased to lind us the loan of a
+gridiron,’ says I, makin’ a low bow.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, sir, with that, throth, they stared at me twice worse nor ever,
+and, faith, I began to think that maybe the captain was wrong, and that
+it was not France at all at all; and so says I, ‘I beg pardon, sir,’
+says I to a fine ould man, with a head of hair as white as silver;
+‘maybe I’m under a mistake,’ says I, ‘but I thought I was in France,
+sir; aren’t you furriners?’ says I. ‘Parly voo frongsay?’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>We, munseer,’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Then would you lind me the loan of a gridiron,’ says I, ‘if you
+plase?’</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, it was thin that they stared at me as if I had seven heads; and,
+faith, myself began to feel flushed like and onaisy; and so says I,
+makin’ a bow and scrape ag’in, ‘I know it’s a liberty I take, sir,’ says
+I, ‘but it’s only in the regard of bein’ cast away; and if you plase,
+sir,’ says I, ‘<i>parly voo frongsay</i>?’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>We, munseer,’ says he, mighty sharp.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Then would you lind me the loan of a gridiron?’ says I, ‘and you’ll
+obleege me.’</p>
+
+<p>“Well, sir, the ould chap began to munseer me; but the divil a bit of a
+gridiron he’d gi’ me; and so I began to think they wor all neygars, for
+all their fine manners; and, throth, my blood begun to rise, and says I,
+‘By my sowl, if it was you was in disthress,’ says I, ‘and if it was to
+ould Ireland you kem, it’s not only the gridiron they’d give you, if you
+axed it, but something to put an it, too, and the drop o’ dhrink into
+the bargain, and cead mile failte.’</p>
+
+<p>“Well, the word cead mile failte seemed to sthreck his heart, and the
+ould chap cocked his ear, and so I thought I’d give him another offer,
+and make him sinsible at last; and so says I, wanst more, quite slow,
+that he might understand, ‘Parly&mdash;voo&mdash;frongsay, munseer?’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>We, munseer,’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Then lind me the loan of a gridiron,’ says I, ‘and bad scram to you.’</p>
+
+<p>“Well, bad win to the bit of it he’d gi’ me, and the ould chap begins
+bowin’ and scrapin’, and said something or other about a long tongs.
+<a name="FNanchor__1" id="FNanchor__1"></a>
+<a href="#Footnote__1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></p>
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote__1" id="Footnote__1"></a>
+<a href="#FNanchor__1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a>
+Some mystification of Paddy’s touching the French n’tends.</p></div>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Phoo!&mdash;the divil swape yourself and your tongs,’ says I; ‘I don’t want
+a tongs at all at all; but can’t you listen to raison?’ says I. ‘<i>Parly
+voo frongsay</i>?’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>We, munseer.’</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Then lind me the loan of a gridiron,’ says I, ‘and howld your prate.’</p>
+
+<p>“Well, what would you think, but he shook his old noddle as much as to
+say he wouldn’t; and so says I, ‘Bad cess to the likes o’ that I ever
+seen! Throth, if you wor in my counthry, it’s not that away they’d use
+you. The curse o’ the crows an you, you ould sinner,’ says I; ‘the divil
+a longer i’ll darken your door.’</p>
+
+<p>“So he seen I was vexed; and I thought, as I was turnin’ away, I seen
+him begin to relint, and that his conscience throubled him; and says I,
+turnin’ back, ‘Well, I’ll give you one chance more, you ould thief. Are
+you a Chrishthan at all? Are you a furriner,’ says I,’ that all the
+world calls so p’lite? Bad luck to you, do you understand your own
+language? Parly voo frongsay?’ says I.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>We, munseer,’ says he.</p>
+
+<p>“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Then, thunder an’ turf,’ says I, ‘will you lind me the loan of a
+gridiron?’</p>
+
+<p>“Well, sir, the divil resa’ve the bit of it he’d gi’ me; and so, with
+that, ‘The curse o’ the hungry an you, you ould neygarly villain,’ says
+I; ‘the back o’ my hand and the sowl o’ my foot to you, that you may
+want a gridiron yourself yit,’ says I. And with that I left them there,
+sir, and kem away; and, in throth, it’s often sense that I thought that
+it was remarkable.”</p>
+
+<h2><a name="THE_EMERGENCY_MEN" id="THE_EMERGENCY_MEN"></a>THE EMERGENCY MEN<br /><br />
+BY GEORGE H. JESSOP</h2>
+
+<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span>HE fourth morning after his arrival in Dublin, Mr. Harold Hayes, of New
+York, entered the breakfast-room of the Shelbourne Hotel in a very bad
+humour. He was sick of the city, of the people, and of his own company.
+Before leaving London he had written to his friend, Jack Connolly, that
+he was coming to Ireland, and he had expected to find a reply at the
+Shelbourne. For three days he had waited in vain, and it was partly, at
+least, on Jack’s account that Mr. Hayes was in Ireland at all. When Jack
+sailed from New York he had bound Harold by a solemn promise to spend a
+few weeks at Lisnahoe on his next visit to Europe. Miss Connelly, who
+had accompanied her brother on his American tour, had echoed and
+indorsed the invitation.</p>
+
+<p>Harold had naturally expected to find at the hotel a letter urging him
+to take the first train for the south. He had seen a great deal of the
+Connellys during their stay in the United States, and Jack and he had
+become firm friends. He had crossed at this unusual season mainly on
+Jack’s account&mdash;on Jack’s account and his sister’s; so it was little
+wonder if the young man considered himself ill used. He felt that he had
+been lured across the Irish Channel&mdash;across the Atlantic Ocean
+itself&mdash;on false pretences.</p>
+
+<p>But in a moment the cloud lifted from his brow, a quick smile stirred
+under his yellow moustache, and his eyes brightened, for a waiter handed
+him a letter. It lay, address uppermost, on the salver, and bore the
+Ballydoon postmark, and the handwriting was the disjointed scrawl which
+he had often ridiculed, but now welcomed as Jack Connolly’s.</p>
+
+<p>This is what Hayes read as he sipped his coffee:</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p class="rt"><i>Lisnahoe</i>, December 23d.</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">My Dear Harold</span>: Home I come from Ballinasloe yesterday, and find
+your letter, the best part of a week old, kicking about among the
+bills and notices of meets that make the biggest end of my
+correspondence. You must be destroyed entirely, my poor fellow, if
+you’ve been three days in dear dirty Dublin, and you not knowing a
+soul in it. Come down at once, and you’ll find a hearty welcome
+here if you won’t find much else. I don’t see why you couldn’t have
+come anyhow, without waiting to write; but you were always so
+confoundedly ceremonious. We’re rather at sixes and sevens, for the
+governor’s got “in howlts” with his tenants and we’re boycotted.
+It’s not bad fun when you’re used to it, but a trifle inconvenient
+in certain small ways. Let me know what train you take and I’ll
+meet you at the station. You must be here for Christmas Day anyhow.
+Polly sends her regards, and says she knew the letter was from you,
+and she came near opening it. I’m sure I wish she had, and answered
+it, for I’m a poor fist at a letter.</p>
+
+<p class="rt">Yours truly,</p>
+
+<p class="rt"><span class="smcap">Jack Connolly.</span></p></div>
+
+<p>The first available train carried Harold southward. On the way he read
+the letter again. The notion of entering a boycotted household amused
+and pleased him. He had never been in Ireland before, and he was quite
+willing that his first visit should be well spiced with the national
+flavour. Of course he had his views on the Irish question. Every
+American newspaper reader is cheerfully satisfied with the conviction
+that the Celtic race on its native sod has no real faults. A
+constitutional antipathy to rent may exist, but that is a national
+foible which, owing doubtless to some peculiarity of the climate, is
+almost praiseworthy in Ireland, though elsewhere regarded as hardly
+respectable. At any rate, with the consciousness that he was about to
+come face to face with the much-talked-of boycott, Harold’s spirits
+rose, and as he read Polly Connolly’s message they rose still higher. He
+was a lively young fellow, and fond of excitement. And at one time, as
+he recalled with a smile and a sigh, he had been almost fond of Polly
+Connolly.</p>
+
+<p>When he alighted at the station&mdash;a small place in Tipperary&mdash;the dusk of
+the early winter evening was closing in, and Harold recollected that his
+prompt departure from Dublin had prevented him from apprising Jack of
+his movements. Of course there would be no trap from Lisnahoe to meet
+this train, but that mattered little. Half a dozen hack-drivers were
+already extolling the merits of their various conveyances, and imploring
+his patronage.</p>
+
+<p>Selecting the best-looking car, he swung himself into his seat, while
+the “jarvey” hoisted his portmanteau on the other side.</p>
+
+<p>“Where to, yer honour?” inquired the latter, climbing to his place.</p>
+
+<p>“To Lisnahoe House,” answered Hayes.</p>
+
+<p>“Where?”</p>
+
+<p>This question was asked with a vehemence that startled the young
+American.</p>
+
+<p>“Lisnahoe. Don’t you know the way?” he replied.</p>
+
+<p>“In troth an’ I do. Is it Connolly’s?”</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” answered Harold. “Drive on, my good fellow; it’s growing late.”</p>
+
+<p>The man’s only answer was to spring from his seat and seize Harold’s
+portmanteau, which he deposited on the road with no gentle hand.</p>
+
+<p>“What do you mean?” cried the young man, indignantly.</p>
+
+<p>“I mane that ye’d betther come down out o’ that afore I make ye.”</p>
+
+<p>Harold was on the ground in a moment and approached the man with
+clinched fists and flashing eyes.</p>
+
+<p>“How dare you, you scoundrel! Will you drive me to Lisnahoe or will you
+not?”</p>
+
+<p>“The divil a fut,” answered the fellow, sullenly.</p>
+
+<p>Hayes controlled his anger by an effort. There was nothing to be gained
+by a row with the man. He turned to another driver.</p>
+
+<p>“Pick up that portmanteau. Drive me out to Mr. Connolly’s. I’ll pay
+double fare.”</p>
+
+<p>But they all with one consent, like the guests in the parable, began to
+make excuse. One man’s horse was lame, another’s car was broken down;
+the services of a third had been “bespoke.” Few were as frank as the man
+first engaged, but all were prompt with the obvious lies, scarcely less
+aggravating than actual rudeness. The station-master appeared, and
+attempted to use his influence in the traveller’s behalf, but he
+effected nothing.</p>
+
+<p>“You’ll have to walk, sir,” said the official, civilly. “I’ll keep your
+portmanteau here till Mr. Connolly sends for it.” And he carried the
+luggage back into the station.</p>
+
+<p>“How far is it to Mr. Connolly’s?” Harold inquired of a ragged urchin
+who had strolled up with several companions.</p>
+
+<p>“Fish an’ find out,” answered the youngster, with a grin.</p>
+
+<p>“We’ll tache them to be sendin’ Emergency men down here,” said another.</p>
+
+<p>The New-Yorker was fast losing patience.</p>
+
+<p>“This is Irish hospitality and native courtesy,” he remarked, bitterly.
+“Will any one tell me the road I am to follow?”</p>
+
+<p>“Folly yer nose,” a voice shouted; and there was a general laugh, in the
+midst of which the station-master reappeared.</p>
+
+<p>He pointed out the way, and Harold trudged off to accomplish, as best he
+might, five Irish miles over miry highways and byways through the
+darkness of the December evening.</p>
+
+<p>This was the young American’s first practical experience of boycotting.</p>
+
+<p>It was nearly seven o’clock when, tired and mud-bespattered, he reached
+Lisnahoe; but the warmth of his reception there went far to banish all
+recollection of the discomforts of his solitary tramp. A hearty
+hand-clasp from Jack, a frank and smiling greeting from Polly (she
+looked handsomer than ever, Harold thought, with her lustrous black hair
+and soft, dark-gray eyes), put him at his ease at once. Then came
+introductions to the rest of the family. Mr. Connolly, stout and
+white-haired, bade him welcome in a voice which owned more than a touch
+of Tipperary brogue. Mrs. Connolly, florid and good-humoured, was very
+solicitous for his comfort. The children confused him at first. There
+were so many of them, of all sizes, that Hayes abandoned for the present
+any attempt to distinguish them by name. There was a tall lad of twenty
+or thereabouts,&mdash;a faithful copy of his elder brother Jack,&mdash;who was
+addressed as Dick, and a pretty, fair-haired girl of seventeen, whom, as
+Polly’s sister, Harold was prepared to like at once. She was Agnes.
+After these came a long array,&mdash;no less than nine more,&mdash;ending with a
+sturdy little chap of three, whom Polly presently picked up and carried
+off to bed. Mr. Connolly, of Lisnahoe, could boast of a full quiver.</p>
+
+<p>There was a general chorus of laughter as Harold related his experience
+at the railway-station. The Connollys had rested for several days under
+the ban of the most rigid boycott, and had become used to small
+discomforts. They faced the situation bravely, and turned all such petty
+troubles into jest; but the American was sorely disquieted to learn that
+there was only one servant in the house&mdash;an old man who for many years
+had blacked boots and cleaned knives for the family, and who had refused
+to crouch to heel under the lash of the boycott.</p>
+
+<p>Harold stammered an apology for his unseasonable visit, but Jack cut him
+short.</p>
+
+<p>“Nonsense, man; the more the merrier. We’re glad to have you, and if you
+can rough it a bit you won’t find it half bad fun.”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, I don’t mind, I’m sure,” said Harold; “only I’m afraid you’d rather
+have your house to yourselves at such a time as this.”</p>
+
+<p>“Not we. Why, we expect some Emergency men down here in a few days.
+We’ll treat you as the advance guard; we’ll set you to work and give you
+your grub the same as an Emergency man.”</p>
+
+<p>“What is an Emergency man?” inquired Harold. “Those Chesterfieldian
+drivers at the station seemed to think it was the worst name they could
+call me.”</p>
+
+<p>A hearty laugh went round the circle.</p>
+
+<p>“If they took ye for an Emergency man, it’s small wonder they were none
+too swate on ye,” observed Mr. Connolly.</p>
+
+<p>“But what does it mean?” asked the New-Yorker.</p>
+
+<p>“Well,” began the old gentleman, “there’s good and bad in this world of
+ours. When tenants kick and labourers clare out, an’ a boycott’s put on
+a man, they’d lave yer cattle to die an’ yer crops to rot for all they
+care. It’s what they want. Well, there happens to be a few dacent people
+left in Ireland yet, and they have got up an organization they call the
+Emergency men; they go to any part of the country and help out people
+that have been boycotted through no fault of their own&mdash;plough their
+fields or reap their oats or dig their potatoes, an’ generally knock the
+legs out from under the boycott. It stands to reason that the
+blackguards in these parts hate an Emergency man as the divil hates holy
+water; but ye may take it as a compliment that ye were mistook for one,
+for all that.”</p>
+
+<p>Here Dick thrust his head into the door of the large library, in which
+the party was assembled.</p>
+
+<p>“Dinner is served, my lords and ladies,” he cried; and there was a
+general movement toward the dining-room.</p>
+
+<p>“No ceremony here, my boy,” laughed Jack, as he led Harold across the
+hall. “I’ll be your cavalier and show you the way. The girls are in the
+kitchen, I suppose.”</p>
+
+<p>But Miss Connolly and Agnes were already in the dining-room, and the
+party gathered round the well-spread board and proceeded to do full
+justice to the good things thereon. The meal was more like a picnic than
+a set dinner. Old Peter Dwyer, the last remaining retainer, had never
+attended at table, so he confined himself to kitchen duties, while the
+young Connollys waited on themselves and on each other. A certain little
+maid, whom Harold by this time had identified as Bella, devoted herself
+to the stranger, and took care that neither his glass nor his plate
+should be empty. A glance of approval, which he intercepted on its way
+from Miss Connolly to her little sister, told Harold that Bella had been
+given a charge concerning him, and he appreciated the attention none the
+less on that account, while he ate his dinner with the agreeable
+confidence that it had been prepared by Miss Polly’s own fair hands.</p>
+
+<p>Everything at table was abundant and good of its kind, and conversation
+was alert and merry, as it is apt to be in a large family party. So far,
+the boycott seemed to have anything but a depressing effect, though
+Harold could not help smiling as he realised how it would have crushed
+to powder more than one estimable family of his acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>After dinner Jack rose, saying that he must go round to the stables and
+bed down the horses for the night. Harold accompanied him, and acquitted
+himself very well with a pitchfork, considering that he had little
+experience with such an implement. he had gone with a couple of the
+younger boys to chop turnips for certain cattle which were being
+fattened for the market.</p>
+
+<p>“How did you come to be boycotted?” inquired Harold, with some
+curiosity, as soon as he found himself alone with Jack.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, it doesn’t take much talent to accomplish that nowadays,” answered
+the young Irishman, with a laugh. “In the first place, the governor has
+a habit of asking for his rent, which is an unpopular proceeding at the
+best of times. In the second place, I bought half a dozen bullocks from
+a boycotted farmer out Limerick way.”</p>
+
+<p>“And is that all?” asked Harold, in astonishment. Notwithstanding his
+regard for his friend, he had never doubted that there must have been
+some appalling piece of persecution to justify this determined
+ostracism.</p>
+
+<p>“All!” echoed Jack, laughing. “You don’t know much of Ireland, my boy,
+or you wouldn’t ask that question. We bought cattle that had been raised
+by a farmer on land from which a defaulting tenant had been evicted. Men
+have been shot in these parts for less than that.”</p>
+
+<p>“Pleasant state of affairs,” remarked the New-Yorker.</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t much care,” Jack went on, lightly. “We’re promised a couple of
+Emergency men from Ulster in a few days, and that will take the weight
+of the work off our hands. It isn’t as if it were a busy time. No crops
+to be saved in winter, you see, and no farm work except stall-feeding
+the cattle. That can’t wait.”</p>
+
+<p>“But your sisters&mdash;all the work of that big house&mdash;” began Harold, who
+was thinking of Polly.</p>
+
+<p>“We expect two Protestant girls down from Belfast to-morrow. That’ll be
+all right. We get all our grub from Dublin,&mdash;they won’t sell us anything
+in Ballydoon,&mdash;and we mean to keep on doing so, boycott or no boycott.
+We have been about the best customers to the shopkeepers round here, and
+it’ll come near ruining the town&mdash;and serve them right,” the young man
+added, with the first touch of bitterness he had displayed in speaking
+of the persecution of his family.</p>
+
+<p>By next day the situation had improved. A couple of servant-girls
+arrived from the north. They were expected, and accordingly Dick was on
+hand with the jaunting-car to meet them and drive them from the station.
+The Emergency men had not yet appeared, so Jack and such of his brothers
+as were old enough to be of use were kept pretty busy round the place.
+Harold had wished to return to England and postpone his visit till a
+more convenient time, but to this no one would listen. He made no
+trouble; he was not a bit in the way; in fact, he was a great help. So
+said they all, and the young New-Yorker was quite willing to believe
+them.</p>
+
+<p>He did occasionally offer assistance in stable or farm-yard, but he much
+preferred to spend his time rambling over the old place, admiring the
+lawns, the woods, the gardens, all strangely silent and deserted now.
+Miss Connolly was often his companion. The importation from Belfast
+relieved her of some of the pressure of household cares, and since her
+brothers were fully occupied, it devolved upon her to play host as well
+as hostess, and point out to the stranger the various charms of
+Lisnahoe.</p>
+
+<p>This suited Harold exactly. He usually carried a gun and sometimes shot
+a rabbit or a wood-pigeon, but generally he was content to listen to
+Polly’s lively conversation, and gaze into the depths of her eyes,
+wondering why they looked darker and softer here under the shadow of her
+native woods than they had ever seemed in the glare and dazzle of a New
+York ball-room. Harold Hayes was falling in love&mdash;falling consciously,
+yet without a struggle. He was beginning to realise that life could have
+nothing better in store for him than this tall, graceful girl, in her
+becoming sealskin cap and jacket, whose little feet, so stoutly and
+serviceably shod, kept pace with his own over so many miles of pleasant
+rambles.</p>
+
+<p>One day&mdash;it was the last of the old year&mdash;Miss Connolly and Harold were
+strolling along a path on which the wintry sunshine was tracing
+fantastic patterns as it streamed through the naked branches of the
+giant beech-trees. The young man had a gun on his shoulder, but he was
+paying little attention to the nimble rabbits that now and then frisked
+across the road. He was thinking, and thinking deeply.</p>
+
+<p>He could not hope for many more such quiet walks with his fair
+companion. She would soon have more efficient chaperons than the
+children, who often made a pretence of accompanying them, but invariably
+dashed off, disdainful of the sober pace of their elders. Before
+long&mdash;next day probably&mdash;he would be handed over to the tender mercies
+of Jack, who had constantly lamented the occupations that prevented his
+paying proper attention to his guest. The heir of Lisnahoe had promised
+to show the young stranger some “real good sport” as soon as other
+duties would permit. That time was close at hand now. The Emergency men
+had been at work for several days; they were thoroughly at home in their
+duties; besides, the fat cattle would be finished very shortly and sent
+off to be sold in Dublin. Jack had announced his intention of stealing a
+holiday on the morrow, and taking Hayes to a certain famous “snipe
+bottom,” when the game was, to use Dick’s expression, “as thick as plums
+in one of Polly’s puddings.”</p>
+
+<p>It was hard to guess then they might have such another rumble, and
+Harold had much to say to the girl at his side; and yet, for the life of
+him, he could not utter the words that were trembling on his lips.</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t believe you care much for shooting, Mr. Hayes.”</p>
+
+<p>A rabbit loped slowly across die road not twenty yards from the gun, but
+Harold had not noticed it. He roused himself with a start, however, at
+the sound of his companion’s voice.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh yes, I do, sometimes,” he answered, glancing alertly to both sides
+of the road; but no game was in sight for the moment.</p>
+
+<p>“If this frost should break up, you may have some hunting,” pursued Miss
+Connolly. “I’m afraid you’re having an awfully stupid time.”</p>
+
+<p>Harold interposed an eager denial.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh yes, you must be,” insisted the young lady; “but Jack will find more
+time now, and if we have a thaw you will have a day with the hounds. Are
+you fond of hunting?”</p>
+
+<p>“I am very fond of riding, but I have never hunted,” answered the
+New-Yorker.</p>
+
+<p>“Just like me. I am never so happy as when I am on horseback, but mamma
+won’t let me ride to hounds. She says she does not approve of ladies on
+the field. It is traditional, I suppose, that every mistress of Lisnahoe
+should oppose hunting.”</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed, why so?” inquired Harold.</p>
+
+<p>“Why, don’t you know?” asked the girl. “Has nobody told you our family
+ghost-story?”</p>
+
+<p>“No one as yet,” answered Hayes.</p>
+
+<p>“Then mine be the pleasing task; and there is a peculiar fitness in your
+hearing it just now, for to-morrow will be New-Year’s Day.”</p>
+
+<p>Harold failed to see the applicability of the date, but he made no
+observation, and Miss Connolly went on.</p>
+
+<p>“Ever so many years ago this place belonged to an ancestor of mine who
+was devoted to field-sports of all kinds. He lived for nothing else,
+people thought, but suddenly he surprised all the world by getting
+married.”</p>
+
+<p>Harold thought that if her remote grandmother had chanced to resemble
+the fair young girl at his side, there was a good excuse for the
+sportsman; but he held his tongue.</p>
+
+<p>“The bride was exacting&mdash;or perhaps she was only timid. At any rate, she
+used her influence to wean her husband from his outdoor
+pursuits&mdash;especially hunting. He must have been very much in love with
+her, for she succeeded, and he promised to give it all up&mdash;after one day
+more. It seems that he could not get out of this last run. The meet was
+on the lawn; the hunt breakfast was to be at Lisnahoe House. In short,
+it was an affair that could neither be altered nor postponed.</p>
+
+<p>“This meet,” continued Polly, “was on New-Year’s Day. There was a great
+gathering, and after breakfast the gentlemen came out and mounted at the
+door; the hounds were grouped on the lawn; it must have been a beautiful
+sight.”</p>
+
+<p>“It must, indeed,” assented Harold.</p>
+
+<p>“Well, this old Mr. Connolly&mdash;but you must understand that he was not
+old at all, only all this happened so long ago&mdash;he mounted his horse,
+and his wife came out on the step to bid him good-bye, and to remind him
+of his promise that this should be his last hunt. And so it was, poor
+fellow; for while she was standing talking to him, a gust of wind came
+and blew part of her dress right into the horse’s face. Mr. Connolly was
+riding a very spirited animal. It reared up and fell back on him,
+killing him on the spot.”</p>
+
+<p>“How horrible!” exclaimed Harold.</p>
+
+<p>“Wait! The shock to the young wife was so great that she died the next
+day.”</p>
+
+<p>“The poor girl!”</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t waste your sympathy. It was all very long ago, and perhaps it
+never happened at all. However, the curious part of the story is to
+come. Every one that had been present at that meet&mdash;men, dogs,
+horses&mdash;everything died within the year.”</p>
+
+<p>“To the ruin of the local insurance companies?” remarked Harold, with a
+smile.</p>
+
+<p>“You needn’t laugh. They did. And next New-Year’s night, between twelve
+and one o’clock, the whole hunt passed through the place, and they have
+kept on doing it every New-Year’s night since.”</p>
+
+<p>“A most interesting and elaborate ghost-story,” said Harold. “Pray, Miss
+Connolly, may I ask if you yourself have seen the phantom hunt?”</p>
+
+<p>“No one has ever done that,” replied Polly, “but when there is moonlight
+they say the shadows can be seen passing over the grass, and any
+New-Year’s night you may hear the huntsman’s horn.”</p>
+
+<p>“I should like amazingly to hear it,” replied the young man. “Have you
+ever heard this horn?”</p>
+
+<p>“I have heard A horn,” the girl answered, with some reluctance.</p>
+
+<p>“On New-Year’s night between twelve and one?” he pursued.</p>
+
+<p>“Of course&mdash;but I can’t swear it was blown by a ghost. My brothers or
+some one may have been playing tricks. You can sit up to-night and
+listen for yourself if you want.”</p>
+
+<p>“Nothing I should like better,” exclaimed Harold. “Will you sit up too?”</p>
+
+<p>“Oh yes. We always wait to see the Old Year out and the New Year in.
+Come, Mr. Hayes, it’s almost luncheon-time,” she added, glancing at her
+watch; and they turned back toward the house, which was just visible
+through the leafless trees.</p>
+
+<p>Harold walked at her side in silence. He had heard a ghost-story, but
+the words he had hoped to speak that day were still unuttered.</p>
+
+<p>Loud were the pleadings, when the little ones’ bedtime came, that they
+might be allowed to sit up to see the Old Year die; but Mrs. Connolly
+was inexorable. The very young ones were sent off to bed at their usual
+hour.</p>
+
+<p>Cards and music passed the time pleasantly till the clock was almost on
+the stroke of twelve. Then wine was brought in, and healths were drunk,
+and warm, cheerful wishes were uttered, invoking all the blessings that
+the New Year might have in store. Hands were clasped and kisses were
+exchanged. Harold would willingly have been included in this last
+ceremony, but that might not be. However, he could and did press Polly’s
+hand very warmly, and the earnestness of the wishes he breathed in her
+ear called a bright colour to her cheek. Then came good-night, and the
+young American’s heart grew strangely soft when he found himself
+included in Mrs. Connolly’s motherly blessing. He thought he had never
+seen a happier, a more united family.</p>
+
+<p>The party was breaking up; some had retired; others were standing,
+bedroom candlesticks in their hands, exchanging a last word, when
+suddenly, out of the silence of the night, the melodious notes of a
+huntsman’s horn echoed through the room. Harold recalled the legend, and
+paused at the door, mute and wondering.</p>
+
+<p>Jack and his father exchanged glances.</p>
+
+<p>“Now which of you’s tryin’ to humbug us this year?” asked the old man,
+laughing, while Jack looked round and proceeded, as he said, to “count
+noses.”</p>
+
+<p>This was a useless attempt, for half the party that had sat up to wait
+for the New Year had already disappeared.</p>
+
+<p>Dick sprang to the window and threw it open, but the night was cloudy
+and dark.</p>
+
+<p>Again came the notes of the horn, floating in through the open window,
+and almost at the same moment there was a sound of hoofs crunching the
+gravel of the drive as a dozen or more animals swept past at wild
+gallop.</p>
+
+<p>“This is past a joke,” cried Jack. “I never heard of the old hunt
+materializing in any such way as this.”</p>
+
+<p>They rushed to the front door&mdash;Jack, Mr. Connolly, all of them. Harold
+reached it first. Wrenching it open, he stood on the step, while the
+others crowded about him and peered out into the night. Only darkness,
+rendered mirker by the lights in the hall; and from the distance,
+fainter now, came the measured beat of the galloping hoofs.</p>
+
+<p>No other sound? Yes, a long-drawn, quivering, piteous sigh; and as their
+eyes grew more accustomed to the night, out of the darkness something
+white shaped itself&mdash;something prone and helpless, lying on the gravel
+beneath the lowest step. They did not stop to speculate as to what it
+might be. With a single impulse, Jack and Harold sprang down, and
+between them they carried back into the hall the inanimate body of Polly
+Connolly.</p>
+
+<p>Her eyes were closed and her face was as white as the muslin dress she
+wore. Clutched in her right hand was a hunting-horn belonging to Dick.
+It was evident that the girl had stolen out unobserved to
+reproduce&mdash;perhaps for the visitor’s benefit&mdash;the legendary notes of the
+phantom huntsman. This was a favorite joke among the young Connollys,
+and scarcely a New-Year’s night passed that it was not practised by one
+or other of the large family; but what had occurred to-night? Whence
+came those galloping hoofs, and what was the explanation of Polly’s
+condition?</p>
+
+<p>The swoon quickly yielded to the usual remedies, but even when she
+revived it was some time before the girl could speak intelligibly. Her
+voice was broken by hysterical sobs; she trembled in every limb. It was
+evident that her nerves had received a severe shock.</p>
+
+<p>While the others were occupied with Polly, Dick had stepped out on the
+gravel sweep, where he was endeavouring, by close examination, to
+discover some clue to the puzzle. Suddenly he ran back into the house.</p>
+
+<p>“Something’s on fire!” he cried. “I believe it’s the yard.”</p>
+
+<p>They all pressed to the open door&mdash;all except Mrs. Connolly, who still
+busied herself with her daughter, and Harold, whose sole interest was
+centred in the girl he loved.</p>
+
+<p>Above a fringe of shrubbery which masked the farm-yard, a red glow lit
+up the sky. It was evident the buildings were on fire. And even while
+they looked a man, half dressed, panting, smoke-stained, dashed up the
+steps. It was Tom Neil, one of the Emergency men.</p>
+
+<p>These men slept in the yard, in the quarters vacated by the deserting
+coachman. In a few breathless words the big, raw-boned Ulsterman told
+the story of the last half-hour.</p>
+
+<p>He and his comrade Fergus had been awakened by suspicious sounds in the
+yard. Descending, they had found the cattle-shed in flames. Neil had
+forced his way in and had liberated and driven out the terrified
+bullocks. The poor animals, wild with terror, had burst from the yard
+and galloped off in the direction of the house. This accounted for the
+trampling hoofs that had swept across the lawn, but scarcely for Polly’s
+terrified condition. A country-bred girl like Miss Connolly would not
+lose her wits over the spectacle of a dozen fat oxen broken loose from
+their stalls. Had the barn purposely burned, and had the girl fallen in
+with the retreating incendiaries?</p>
+
+<p>It seemed likely. No one there doubted the origin of the fire, and Mr.
+Connolly expressed the general feeling as he shook his head and
+murmered:</p>
+
+<p>“I mistrusted that they wouldn’t let us get them cattle out o’ the
+country without some trouble.”</p>
+
+<p>“But where is Fergus?” demanded Jack, suddenly.</p>
+
+<p>“Isn’t he here?” asked the Ulsterman. “When we seen the fire he started
+up to the big house to give the alarm, while I turned to to save the
+bullocks.”</p>
+
+<p>“No, he never came to the house,” answered Jack, and there was an added
+gravity in his manner as he turned to his brother.</p>
+
+<p>“Get a lantern, Dick. This thing must be looked into at once.”</p>
+
+<p>While the boy went in search of a light, Mr. Connolly attempted to
+obtain from his daughter a connected statement of what had happened and
+how much she had seen; but she was in no condition to answer questions.
+The poor girl could only sob and moan and cover her face with her hands,
+while convulsive tremblings shook her slight figure.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh, don’t ask me, papa; don’t speak to me about it. It was
+dreadful&mdash;dreadful. I saw it all.”</p>
+
+<p>This was all they could gain from her.</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t thrubble the poor young lady,” interposed old Peter,
+compassionately. “Sure, the heart’s put acrass in her wid the fright.
+Lave her be till mornin’.”</p>
+
+<p>There seemed nothing else to be done, so Polly was left in charge of her
+mother and sister, while the men, headed by Dick, who carried a lantern,
+set out to examine the grounds.</p>
+
+<p>There was no trace of Fergus between the house and the farm-yard. The
+lawn was much cut up by the cattle, for the frost had turned to rain
+early in the evening, and a rapid thaw was in progress. The ground was
+quite soft on the surface, and it was carefully scrutinised for traces
+of footsteps, but nothing could be distinguished among the hoof-prints
+of the bullocks.</p>
+
+<p>In the yard all was quiet. The fire had died down; the roof of the
+cattle-shed had fallen in and smothered the last embers. The barn was a
+ruin, but no other damage had been done, and there were no signs of the
+missing man.</p>
+
+<p>They turned back, this time making a wider circle. Almost under the
+kitchen window grew a dense thicket of laurel and other evergreen
+shrubs. Dick stooped and let the light of the lantern penetrate beneath
+the overhanging branches.</p>
+
+<p>There, within three steps of the house, lay Fergus, pale and
+blood-stained, with a sickening dent in his temple&mdash;a murdered man.</p>
+
+<p>Old Peter Dwyer was the first to break the silence: “The Lord be good to
+him! They’ve done for him this time, an’ no mistake.”</p>
+
+<p>The lifeless body was lifted gently and borne toward the house. Harold
+hastened in advance to make sure that none of the ladies were astir to
+be shocked by the grisly sight. The hall was deserted. Doubtless Polly’s
+condition demanded all their attention.</p>
+
+<p>“The girl saw him murdered,” muttered Mr. Connolly. “I thought it must
+have been something out of the common to upset her so.”</p>
+
+<p>“D’ ye think did she, sir?” asked old Peter, eagerly.</p>
+
+<p>“I havnen’t a doubt of it,” replied the old gentlemen shortly. “Thank
+goodness, her evidence will hang the villain, whoever he may be.” “Ah,
+the poor thing, the poor thing!” murmured the servant, and then the sad
+procession entered the house.</p>
+
+<p>The body was laid on a table. It would have been useless to send for a
+surgeon. There was not one to be found within several miles, and it was
+but too evident that life was extinct. The top of the man’s head was
+beaten to a pulp. He had been clubbed to death.</p>
+
+<p>“If it costs me every shilling I have in the world, and my life to the
+boot of it,” said Mr. Connolly, “I’ll see the ruffians that did the deed
+swing for their night’s work.”</p>
+
+<p>“Amin,” assented Peter, solemnly; and Jack’s handsome face darkened as
+he mentally recorded an oath of vengeance.</p>
+
+<p>“There’ll be little sleep for this house to-night,” resumed the old
+gentleman after a pause. “I’m goin’ to look round and see if the doors
+are locked, an’ then take a look at Polly. An’, Peter.”</p>
+
+<p>“Sir!”</p>
+
+<p>“The first light in the mornin’&mdash;it’s only a few hours off,” he added,
+with a glance at his watch&mdash;“you run over to the police station, and
+give notice of what’s happened.”</p>
+
+<p>“I will, yer honour.”</p>
+
+<p>“Come upstairs with me, boys. I want to talk with you. Good-night, Mr.
+Hayes. This has been a blackguard business, but there’s no reason you
+should lose your rest for it.”</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Connolly left the room, resting his arms on the shoulders of his two
+sons. Harold glanced at the motionless figure of the murdered man, and
+followed. He did not seek his bedroom, however; he knew it would be idle
+to think of sleep. He entered the smoking-room, lit a cigar, and threw
+himself into a chair to wait for morning.</p>
+
+<p>All his ideas as to the Irish question had been changing insensibly
+during his visit to Lisnahoe. This night’s work had revolutionised them.
+He saw the agrarian feud&mdash;not as he had been wont to read of it, glozed
+over by the New York papers. He saw it as it was&mdash;in all its naked,
+brutal horror.</p>
+
+<p>He had observed that there had been no attempt on the Connollys to
+appeal to neighbours for sympathy in this time of trouble, and he had
+asked Jack the reason. Jack’s answer had been brief and pregnant.</p>
+
+<p>“Where’s the good? We’re boycotted.”</p>
+
+<p>And that dead man lying on the table outside was only an example of
+boycotting carried to its logical conclusion.</p>
+
+<p>The sound of a door closing softly aroused Harold from his reverie. A
+little postern leading from the servants’ quarters opened close to the
+smoking-room window. Harold looked out, and, as the night had grown
+clearer, he distinctly saw old Pete Dwyer making his way with elaborate
+caution down the shrubery path.</p>
+
+<p>“Going to the police station, I suppose,” mused Hayes. “Well, he has
+started betimes.”</p>
+
+<p>Then he resumed his seat and thought of Polly.</p>
+
+<p>What a shock for her, poor girl, to leave a happy home with her heart
+full of innocent mirth, only to encounter murder lurking red-handed at
+the very threshold!</p>
+
+<p>“I wish I had spoken to her to-day,” he muttered. “Goodness alone knows
+when I shall find a chance now. I wonder how she is?”</p>
+
+<p>He realised that he could see nothing of her till breakfast time at any
+rate&mdash;if, indeed, she would be strong enough to appear at that meal. He
+had been sitting in the dark; he now threw aside his cigar, and, drawing
+his chair closer to the window, set himself resolutely to watch for the
+dawn and solace his vigil with dreams of Polly.</p>
+
+<p>A raw, chill air blew into the room. He noticed that a pane of glass was
+broken. One of the children had thrown a ball through it a few days
+before, and in the present situation of the Connolly household a glazier
+was an unattainable luxury.</p>
+
+<p>Harold rose with the intention of moving his chair out of the draught,
+but as he did so the sound of whispered words, seemingly at his very
+ear, made him pause. The voices came from the shrubbery below the
+window, and in one of them he recognised the unmistakable brogue of old
+Peter Dwyer.</p>
+
+<p>Had the man been to the police station and returned with the constables
+so quickly? This was Harold’s first thought, but he dismissed it as soon
+as formed. Peter had been barely half an hour absent, and the station
+was several miles off. Where had he been, then, and with whom was he
+conversing? Harold bent his head close to the broken pane and listened.</p>
+
+<p>“Are ye sure sartin that the young woman seen us?” inquired a rough
+voice&mdash;not Peter’s&mdash;“because this is goin’ to be an ugly job, an’
+there’s no call for us to tackle it widout needcessity?”</p>
+
+<p>“Sartin as stalks,” whispered the old servant. “She was all of a
+thrimble, as if she’d met a sperrit an’ all the words she had was ‘I
+seen it&mdash;I seen it all,’ an’ she yowlin’ like a banshee.”</p>
+
+<p>“It’s quare we didn’t take notice to her, for she must ha’ been powerful
+close to see us such a night. I thought I heerd the horn, too, an’ I
+lavin’ the yard.”</p>
+
+<p>She wint out to blow it,” whispered Peter. “Most like it was stuck in
+the shrubbery she was.”</p>
+
+<p>“Come on thin,” growled the other; “it’s got to be done, an’ the byes is
+all here. Ye left the little dure beyant on the latch?”</p>
+
+<p>“I did that,” responded old Peter; and then a low, soft whistle sounded
+in the darkness. It was a signal.</p>
+
+<p>Rapidly but cautiously Harold Hayes left the window and stole across the
+room. He understood it all. Polly had seen the murder and had recognised
+the assassins. Old Dwyer was a traitor. He had slipped out and warned
+the ruffians of the peril in which they stood, and now they were here to
+seal their own safety by another crime&mdash;by the sacrifice of a life far
+dearer to Harold than his own.</p>
+
+<p>Swiftly, silently, he sped down the gloomy passage. The lives of all
+beneath that roof were hanging on his speed. Breathless he reached the
+little door, and flung himself against it with all his weight while his
+trembling fingers groped in the darkness for bolt or bar.</p>
+
+<p>A heavy hand was laid on the latch, and the door was tried from without.</p>
+
+<p>“How’s this, Peter?” inquired the rough voice. “I thought ye said it
+wasn’t locked.”</p>
+
+<p>“No more it is; it’s only stiff it is, bad cess to it. Push hard, yer
+sowl ye.”</p>
+
+<p>But at this moment Harold’s hand encountered the bolt. With a sigh of
+relief he shot it into the socket, and then, searching farther, he
+supplemented the defences with a massive bar, which, he knew, ought
+always to be in place at night.</p>
+
+<p>Then he sped back along the passage, while muttered curses reached his
+ears from without, and the door was shaken furiously.</p>
+
+<p>“Jack, Jack,” he panted, as he flung open the door of the room in which
+the young men slept&mdash;“Jack, come down and&mdash;”</p>
+
+<p>He stopped abruptly. Mr. Connolly was kneeling at the bedside, and his
+two sons knelt to the right and left of him.</p>
+
+<p>There were no family prayers at Lisnahoe; only the ladies were regular
+church-goers; but that it was a religious household no one could have
+doubted who knew the events of the night and saw the old man on his
+knees between his boys.</p>
+
+<p>They rose at the noise of Harold’s entrance, and the American, who felt
+that there were no moments to be wasted on apologies, announced his
+errand.</p>
+
+<p>“Old Peter Dwyer is a traitor! He has gone out and brought the murderers
+to finish the work they have commenced.”</p>
+
+<p>And then, in eager, breathless words, he told them how he had heard the
+conversation in the shrubbery, and how the men, apprehensive that Miss
+Connolly could identify them, had returned to stifle her testimony.</p>
+
+<p>“They were right there,” said the old man. “She saw the first blow, and
+it was struck by Red Mike Driscoll.”</p>
+
+<p>“Then she is better?” asked Harold, eagerly.</p>
+
+<p>The boys were at the other end of the room, slipping cartridges loaded
+with small shot into the fowling-pieces they had snatched from the
+walls.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh yes,” replied Mr. Connolly; “she is all right now.”</p>
+
+<p>A sound of heavy blows echoed through the house. The men below had
+convinced themselves that the door was firmly fastened, and, desperate
+from the conviction that they were identified, and relying on the
+loneliness of the place, they were attacking the barrier with a pickaxe.</p>
+
+<p>“I’ll soon put a stop to that,” cried Jack; and cocking his gun, he left
+the room.</p>
+
+<p>Dick was about to follow, but his father stopped him.</p>
+
+<p>There’s no one in front of the house yet,” said the old gentleman. “Slip
+out quietly, my boy, and make a dash for it to the police station.
+You’ve taken the cup for the two-mile race at Trinity. Let’s see how
+quick you can be when you are running for all our lives.”</p>
+
+<p>“I’ll go down and fasten the door after him,” volunteered Hayes, and the
+old man nodded. Outside, on the landing, they could hear the blows of
+the pickaxe more distinctly. Suddenly, above the clangour, rang out
+close and sharp the two reports of Jack’s double-barrel. He had selected
+a window commanding the attack, and had fired point-blank down into the
+group of men.</p>
+
+<p>Shrieks and groans and curses testified to the accuracy of the young
+man’s aim, and the sound of blows ceased. Harold and Dick ran rapidly
+downstairs. The latter unbarred the front door.</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t you run a fearful risk if you are seen?” inquired the American.</p>
+
+<p>“Of course I do,” returned the brave lad, without a tremor in his voice;
+“but somebody’s got to take the chance; we can’t defend the house
+forever; and I wouldn’t miss this opportunity of nabbing the whole gang
+for a thousand pounds.”</p>
+
+<p>He opened the door and sped out into the night. He was out of sight in a
+moment, and, as far as Harold could judge, he had not been observed.
+Again the blows of the pickaxe rang out from the rear of the house.</p>
+
+<p>Hayes closed the door and replaced the heavy bar. Then he turned to
+remount the stairs, and met Polly, who was standing near the top with a
+candle in her hand.</p>
+
+<p>She was quite composed now, but very pale. He tried to ask if she had
+recovered, but she cut him short impatiently.</p>
+
+<p>“There is nothing the matter with me. What is the meaning of all this
+uproar and&mdash;and the firing?”</p>
+
+<p>For at this moment the twin reports of Jack’s breech-loader again echoed
+through the house, this time it was answered by a fusilade from below.</p>
+
+<p>There was nothing to be gained by concealment, and Harold told her the
+whole story in a few words.</p>
+
+<p>“How prompt and clever of you!” she said; “You have saved all our
+lives.”</p>
+
+<p>Her praise was very sweet to him, but there was no time to enjoy it now.</p>
+
+<p>“Where are you going?” she asked, as he turned again to spring up the
+stairs.</p>
+
+<p>I am going to my room for my revolver,” he answered. “I may have use for
+it before this is over.”</p>
+
+<p>“Do,” she replied. “I will wait for you here.” Haves hurried on.</p>
+
+<p>Jack was in the guest’s room. The young Irishman had selected that
+window, as it commanded the little door against which the brunt of the
+attack had hitherto been directed. Every pane was shattered, and walls
+and ceiling showed the effect of the volley that had been directed
+against him, but the young fellow stood his ground uninjured. “Don’t
+mind me,” he said, in answer to Harold’s inquiry. “I’m all right, and
+can hold this fort til morning if they don’t get ladders. I fancy I’ve
+sickened them of trying that door below.”</p>
+
+<p>Harold hastily grasped his revolver and went His idea was to stand in
+the passage near the smoking-room, and defend the place should the door
+give way; for he did not believe that timber had ever been grown to
+withstand such blows.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Connolly put her head out of the nursery door as he passed. Her
+husband had told her of the position of affairs.</p>
+
+<p>“Is that you, Mr. Hayes?” she whispered. “Is Jack hurt?”</p>
+
+<p>“Jack is quite safe,” answered the young American. “Are the children
+very much frightened?”</p>
+
+<p>“Not as long as I am with them,” the old lady answered. “And Dick&mdash;what
+of him?”</p>
+
+<p>“Dick is all right too,” replied Harold. He could not tell the poor
+woman that her boy was out in the open country without a wall between
+him and the ruffians.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Connolly drew back into the nursery to take the post assigned
+her&mdash;assuredly not the easiest on that terrible night&mdash;to listen to the
+doubtful sounds from without, and to support, by her own constancy, the
+courage of her children.</p>
+
+<p>Harold found Miss Connolly in the hall where he had left her.</p>
+
+<p>“What do you intend to do?” she asked.</p>
+
+<p>“I was going to stand inside the door they have been hammering at,” he
+answered, “in case they should break it in.”</p>
+
+<p>“Papa is there,” said the girl; “perhaps you had better wait here. They
+will try the front door next”</p>
+
+<p>“Very good,” he assented; and then added, with a sudden apprehension,
+“but the windows. There are so many of them. How can we watch them all?”</p>
+
+<p>“There are bars to all the lower windows,” she replied, “and I do not
+think they know where to find ladders. No; their next attempt will be at
+the hall door, and it will be harder to repel than anywhere else, for
+the portico will protect them from shots from the windows.”</p>
+
+<p>“And now, Miss Connolly,” urged Harold, “you can do no good here. Had
+not you better go upstairs out of the way?”</p>
+
+<p>“No, no; I would rather wait here,” she answered. “Don’t be afraid. I
+sha’n’t give way again as I did to-night. I don’t know what came over
+me, but it was all so horrible&mdash;so unexpected&mdash;” She broke off with a
+little shuddering sigh.</p>
+
+<p>“You saw them attack him?” asked Harold.</p>
+
+<p>She nodded. “I was under that big cedar outside the parlor window. I had
+hidden there to blow the horn. Suddenly I saw Fergus with a lantern in
+his hand coming full speed toward the house. Just as he got within a few
+paces of me, half a dozen men burst out from the laurels. Oh, how
+savagely they struck at him! He was down in a moment. It was all so
+close to me: I recognised Red Mike by the light of poor Fergus’s
+lantern.”</p>
+
+<p>“And then?” asked Hayes.</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t think I remember any more. I must have staggered on to the
+house, for they tell me I was found at the foot of the steps, but I
+don’t know how I got there. I was terribly frightened, but I sha’n’t do
+it again&mdash;not if they blow the roof off,” she said, trying to smile.</p>
+
+<p>“I should think they would be afraid to persevere now that they are
+discovered,” observed Harold. “This firing must alarm the
+neighbourhood.”</p>
+
+<p>“In a lonely place like this!” said the girl. “No, no, Mr. Hayes; there
+are not many to hear these shots, and none that would not sooner fight
+against us than on our side. We must depend on ourselves. But oh,” she
+wailed, her woman’s heart betraying itself through the mechanical calm
+she had maintained so long, “oh, I am sorry that your friendship for us
+should have brought you into such peril&mdash;to think that your visit here
+may cost you your life,” and she broke off and covered her streaming
+eyes with her hands.</p>
+
+<p>“Indeed, indeed,” said Harold, earnestly, “I think any danger I may run
+a small price to pay for the privilege of knowing you, and, and&mdash;of
+loving you.”</p>
+
+<p>It was out at last; the words that had been so difficult to say came
+trippingly from his tongue now, and she did not repulse nor attempt to
+licence him.</p>
+
+<p>There, in the dimly lighted, lofty hall, he poured out all that had been
+in his heart since he had known her, and won from her in return a
+whisper that emboldened him to draw the yielding form toward him and
+press his lips to hers.</p>
+
+<p>With a pealing crash the pickaxe bit into the stout oaken door, and the
+young lovers sprang apart, terrified at this rude interruption of
+dreams. Blow followed blow, and the massive woodwork shivered and
+splintered and swayed under the savage impulse from without.</p>
+
+<p>The assailants had abandoned their attempt on the postern; they had
+ignored the kitchen door, within which stout Tom Neil with Dick’s
+double-barrel stood on guard; they had turned their attention to the
+main entrance, where a projecting portico partially sheltered them from
+the galling discharges of Jack’s favourite “Rigby.”</p>
+
+<p>They were only partially sheltered, however. The heir of Lisnahoe had
+quickly shifted his ground when the attack on the postern was abandoned,
+and he now stood in another room, ready, with the quickness of a
+practised snipe-shot, to fire on any arm or hand or foot which showed
+even for an instant outside the shadow of the portico.</p>
+
+<p>Crash, crash, crash! Again and again the steel fangs of the pick ate
+their way through the solid timber. The lock yielded quickly, but,
+heavily barred at top and bottom, the good door resisted staunchly.
+Polly had glided away from Harold’s side. He fancied that she had sought
+a place of safety, and rejoiced thereat; but in a moment she reappeared.
+She carried a shot-gun in her hands, and when she reached his side she
+rested the butt on the ground and leaned on the weapon.</p>
+
+<p>“I have often fired at things,” she said, simply. “Why shouldn’t I now?”</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Connolly and Jack joined them in the hall, and Neil had come up from
+the kitchen door. The main entrance was evidently the weak point, and
+the whole garrison must be on hand to defend it. The assailants had
+waxed cautious of late, and for some time had allowed the sharp-shooter
+no chance. He thought that he would be of more service below; but, as it
+proved, when he abandoned his post he committed a fatal error.</p>
+
+<p>Apparently the enemy had discovered that the galling fire from above had
+ceased. Perhaps some of their number had ventured out and returned
+scatheless. They speedily took advantage of this immunity. While the
+attacks with the pickaxe were not relaxed for a moment, a score of men
+had brought the trunk of a young larch from the saw-pit at the back of
+the house. Poised by forty strong arms, this improvised battering-ram
+was hurled against the front door, carrying it clear off its hinges. In
+the naked entry a crowd of rough men jostled one another, as they sprang
+forward with hoarse imprecations on their prey. The garrison was
+vanquished at last.</p>
+
+<p>Not yet. Four shots rang out as one, instantly repeated as the defenders
+discharged their second barrels into the very teeth of the advancing
+mob. Then Mr. Connolly, Neil, and Jack clubbed the guns they had no time
+to reload, and prepared to sell their lives dearly in a hand-to-hand
+struggle. Polly, as soon as she had fired, dropped her weapon, and in an
+instant Harold had swept her behind him, and stood, revolver in hand,
+his breast her bulwark, confronting the mob.</p>
+
+<p>But the mob, withered by the volley, hesitated a moment. The vestibule
+was streaming with blood, and shrieking, writhing victims strove in vain
+to rise. It was a sickening sight, but there was the electricity of
+anger in the air and no one faltered long. On they came again with
+undiminished fury.</p>
+
+<p>But again the rush was checked. Sharp and vengeful rang out the close
+reports of the American revolver, and at each echo a man fell. Less
+noisy, less terrific, but far more deadly, the six-shooter took up the
+work where the breech-loaders had left it; and Harold, covering with his
+body the girl he loved, fired as steadily as if practising in a pistol
+gallery, and made every shot tell.</p>
+
+<p>He had not used his weapon in the first rush; somewhere or other, young
+Hayes had heard of the advantages of platoon firing.</p>
+
+<p>The lights had been extinguished and day was just breaking. Firing from
+the obscurity into the growing light, the garrison had the best of the
+position; but there were firearms among the assailants too, and the
+balls whistled through the long hall and buried themselves in the
+panelling.</p>
+
+<p>But this could not last. Much as they had suffered in the assault, the
+assailants were too numerous to be longer held at bay. With a feeling of
+despair, Harold recognised the futile click that followed his pressure
+on the trigger and told him that he had fired his last cartridge.</p>
+
+<p>With a wild yell the assailants rushed forward. Not a shot met them;
+nothing stood between them and their vengeance but four pale, determined
+men, weaponless but unflinching.</p>
+
+<p>A quick trampling as of a body of horse was heard on the gravel without.
+A sharp, stern order reached the ears even of those in the house.</p>
+
+<p>“Unsling carbines! Make ready! Present!”</p>
+
+<p>Clubs and blunderbusses dropped from nerveless hands as the advancing
+mob paused, faltered, and then surged backward through the doorway. The
+lust of vengeance gave way to the instinct of self-preservation, and the
+rioters scattered in flight.</p>
+
+<p>Dick’s gallant race against time had not been fruitless. A squadron of
+constabulary had reached the ground at the critical moment, and Lisnahoe
+was saved.</p>
+
+<p>Few of the assailants escaped&mdash;every avenue was guarded by mounted
+policemen; and the gang which had long terrorised the
+neighbourhood&mdash;whose teachings and example had done so much to convert
+the sullen discontent of the peasantry into overt violence&mdash;was
+effectually broken up. From that night the boycott on the Connolly
+household was raised.</p>
+
+<p>Red Mike Driscoll expiated on the gallows the murder of the Emergency
+man Fergus, and nearly a score of others were sentenced to various terms
+of imprisonment for assault and housebreaking.</p>
+
+<p>The attacking party had lost three men killed, besides many wounded,
+more or less severely, by the shot-guns. The judicial inquiry into the
+casualties brought out details of the defence which struck terror to the
+hearts of the country people. It was not likely that Lisnahoe would be
+molested again.</p>
+
+<p>Harold Hayes and Polly Connolly were married shortly after Easter. They
+are living in New York now, in a pleasant flat overlooking Central Park.
+They entertain a good deal, and Irish affairs are sometimes discussed at
+Mr. Hayes’s table; but so far he has failed to convince any of his
+American friends that there may be more than one side to the agrarian
+question in Ireland.</p>
+
+<p>“Nonsense,” remarked one gentleman, who professed to be deeply read in
+the subject; “they are an oppressed and suffering people. Let them have
+their land.”</p>
+
+<p>“And what is to become of the landlords?” inquired Polly, with a wistful
+remembrance of her girlhood’s beautiful home.</p>
+
+<p>But to this question there has been no reply, and none has been offered
+yet.</p>
+
+<h2><a name="A_LOST_RECRUIT" id="A_LOST_RECRUIT"></a>A LOST RECRUIT<br /><br />
+BY JANE BARLOW</h2>
+
+<p class="nind"><span class="letra">W</span>HEN Mick Doherty heard that there was to be route-marching next day in
+the neighbourhood of Kilmacrone, he determined upon going off for a long
+“stravade” coastward over the bog, where there were no roads worth
+mentioning, and no risks of an encounter with the military. In this he
+acted differently from all his neighbours, most of whom, upon learning
+the news, began to speculate and plan how they might see and hear as
+much as possible of their unwonted visitors. Opinions were chiefly
+divided as to whether the Murghadeen cross-roads would be the best
+station to take up, or the fork of the lane at Berrisbawn House. People
+who, for one reason or another, could not go so far afield, consoled
+themselves by reflecting that the band, at any rate, would be likely to
+come through the village, and would no doubt strike up a tune while
+passing, as it had done a couple of years ago, the last time the
+redcoats had appeared in Kilmacrone. And, och, but that was the grand
+playin’ intirely! It done your heart good just to be hearin’ the sound
+of it, bedad it did so. Old Mrs. Geoghegan said it was liker the sort of
+thunder-storms they might be apt to have in heaven above than aught else
+she could think of, might goodness forgive her for sayin’ such a thing;
+and Molly Joyce said she’d as lief as not have sat down and cried when’t
+was passed beyond her listenin’, it went that delightful thumpety-thump,
+wid the tune flyin’ up over it.</p>
+
+<p>The military authorities at Fortbrack were not ignorant of this popular
+sentiment, and had considered it in the order of that day. For
+experience had shown that a progress of troops through the surrounding
+country districts generally conduced to the appearance before the
+recruiting officer of sundry long-limbed, loose-jointed Pats, Micks, and
+Joes; and a recent scarcity of this raw material made it seem expedient
+to bring such an influence to bear upon the new ground of remote
+Kilmacrone. Certain brigades and squadrons were accordingly directed to
+move thitherward, under the general idea that an invading force from the
+southeast had occupied Ballybeg Allan, while in pursuance of another
+general idea, really more to the purpose, though not officially
+announced, the accompanying band received instructions to be liberal and
+lively in its performances by the way.</p>
+
+<p>All along their route through the wide brown land the soldiers might be
+sure of drawing as much sympathetic attention as that lonesome west
+country could concentrate on any given line. Probably there would be no
+one disposed, like Mick Doherty, to get out of the way, unless some very
+small child roared and ran, if of a size to have acquired the latter
+accomplishment, at the sound of the booming drums. To the great majority
+of these onlookers the spectacle would be a rare and gorgeous pageant, a
+memory resplendent across twilight-hued time-tracts as a vision of
+scarlet and golden gleams, and proudly pacing horses, and music that
+made you feel you had never known how much life there was in you all the
+while. Some toll, it is true, had to be paid for this enjoyment. When it
+had passed by things suddenly grew very flat and colourless, and there
+was a tendency to feel more or less vaguely aggrieved because you could
+not go a-soldiering yourself. In cases, however, where circumstances
+rendered that obviously impossible, as when people were too old or
+infirm, or were women or girls, this thrill of discontent, seldom very
+acute, soon subsided, by virtue of the self-preserving instinct which
+forbids us to persist in knocking our heads hard against our stone
+walls. But it was different where the beholder was so situated that he
+could imagine himself riding or striding after the rapturous march-music
+to fields of peril and valour and glory, without diminishing the
+vividness of the picture by simultaneously supposing himself some quite
+other person. The gleam in young Felix M’Guinness’s eyes, as he watched
+the red files dwindle and twinkle out of sight, was to the brightening
+up beneath his grandfather’s shaggy brows as the forked flash is to the
+shimmering sheet-lightnings, that are but a harmless reflection from
+far-off storms. And there, indeed, pleasure paid a ruinous duty. If
+those who were liable to it did not imitate Mick Doherty’s prudence and
+hold aloof, the reason may have been that they had not fortitude enough
+to turn away from excitement offered on any terms, or that their
+position was less desperately tantalising than his; and the latter
+explanation is the more probable one, since few lads in and about
+Kilmacrone can have had their martial aspirations baulked by an
+impediment so flimsy and yet so effectual.</p>
+
+<p>There was nothing in the world to hinder Mick from enlisting except just
+the unreasonableness of his mother, and that was an unreasonableness so
+unreasonable as to verge upon hat her neighbours would hare called
+“quare ould conthrariness.” For, though a widow woman, and therefore
+entitled to occupy a pathetic position, its privileges were defined by
+the opinion that “she was not so badly off intirely as she might ha’
+been.” Mick’s departure need not have left her desolate, since she had
+another son and daughter at home, besides Essie married in the village,
+and Brian settled down at Murghadeen, here he was doing well, and times
+and again asking her to come and live with him. Then Mick would have
+been able to help her out of his pay much more efficaciously than he
+could do by his earnings at Kilmacrone, where work was slack and its
+wage low, so that the result of a lad’s daily labour sometimes seemed
+mainly the putting of a fine edge on a superfluous appetite. All these
+points were most clearly seen by Mick in the light of a fiercely burning
+desire; but that availed him nothing unless he could set them as plainly
+before some one else who was not thus illuminated. And not far from two
+years back he had resolved that he would attempt to do so no more.</p>
+
+<p>The soldiers had been about in the district on the day before, scattered
+like poppy beds over the bog, and signalling and firing till the misty
+October air tingled with excitement. When you have lived your life among
+wide-bounded solitudes, where the silence is oftenest broken by the
+plover’s pipe or the croak of some heavily flapping bird, you will know
+the meaning of a bugle-call. Mick and his contemporaries had acted as
+camp-followers from early till late with ever intensifying ardour; one
+outcome whereof was that he heard his especial crony, Paddy Joyce,
+definitely decide to go and enlist at Fortbrack next Monday, which gave
+a turn more to the pinching screw of his own banned wish. It was with a
+concerted scheme for ascertaining whether there were any chance of
+bringing his mother round to a rational view of the matter that he and
+his friend dropped into her cabin next morning on the way to carry up a
+load of turf. Mrs. Doherty was washing her couple of blue-checked aprons
+in an old brown butter-crock, and Mick thought he had introduced the
+subject rather happily when he told her “she had a right to be takin’
+her hands out of the suds, and dippin’ the finest curtsey she could
+conthrive, and she wid the Commander-in-Gineral of the Army Forces
+steppin’ in to pay her a visit.” Of course this statement required, as
+it was intended to require, elucidation, so Mick proceeded to announce:
+“It’s himself’s off to Fortbrack a-Monday, ‘listin’ he’ll be in the
+Edenderry Light Infantry; so the next time we set eyes on him it’s
+blazin’ along the street we’ll see him, like the boys we had here
+yisterday.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah! sure now, that’ll be grand,” said Mrs. Doherty, unwarily
+complaisant; “we’ll all be proud to behold him that way. ’T is a fine
+thing far any young man who’s got a fancy to take up wid it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Och, then, bedad it is so!” said Mick, with emphasis, promptly making
+for the opening given to him.</p>
+
+<p>“Bedad it is,” said Paddy.</p>
+
+<p>“There’s nothin’ like it,” said Mick.</p>
+
+<p>“Ah, nothin’ at all,” said Paddy.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Doherty made no remark as she twisted a dripping apron into a
+sausage-shaped roll to wring the water out.</p>
+
+<p>“How much was it you were sayin’ you’d have in the week, Paddy, just to
+put in your pocket for your divarsion like?” inquired Mick, with a
+convenient lapse of memory.</p>
+
+<p>“Och, seven or eight shillin’s anyway,” said Paddy, in the tone of one
+to whom shillings had already become trivial coins; “and that, mind you,
+after you’ve ped for the best of aitin’ and dhrinkin’, and your kit
+free, and no call to be spendin’ another penny unless you plase. Sure,
+Long Murphy was tellin’ me he was up in the town awhile ago, on a day
+when they were just after gettin’ their pay, and he said the Post-Office
+was that thick wid the soldier lads sendin’ home the money to their
+friends, he couldn’t get speech of a clerk to buy his stamp be no manner
+of manes, not if he’d wrecked the place. ’T was the Sidmouth Fusileers
+was in at that time; they’re off to Limerick now.”</p>
+
+<p>“But that’s a grand regulation they have,” said Mick, “wid the short
+service nowadays. Where’s the hardship in it when a man can quit at the
+ind of three year, if he’s so plased? Three year’s no time to speak of.”</p>
+
+<p>“Sure, not at all; you’d scarce notice it passin’ by. Like Barney
+Bralligan’s song that finished before it begun&mdash;isn’t that the way of
+it, ma’am?”</p>
+
+<p>“It’s a goodish len’th of a while,” said Mrs. Doherty.</p>
+
+<p>“But thin there’s the lave; don’t be forgettin’ the lave, Paddy man.
+Supposin’ we&mdash;”</p>
+
+<p>“Tub be sure, there’s the lave. Why, it’s skytin’ home on lave they do
+be most continial. And the Edenderrys is movin’ no farther than just to
+Athlone; that’s as handy a place as you could get.”</p>
+
+<p>“You’d not thravel from this to Athlone in the inside of a week, if it
+was iver so handy,” said Mrs. Doherty.</p>
+
+<p>“Is it a week? Och! blathershins, Mrs. Doherty, ma’am, you’re mistook
+intirely. Sure, onst you’ve stepped into the town yonder, the train’ll
+take you there in a flash. And the trains do be oncommon convenient.”</p>
+
+<p>“Free passes!” prompted Mick.</p>
+
+<p>“Ay, bedad, and free passes they’ll give to any souldier takin’ his
+furlough; so sorra the expense ’t would be supposin’ Mick here had a
+notion to slip home of an odd day and see you.”</p>
+
+<p>“<i>Mick</i>!” said Mrs. Doherty.</p>
+
+<p>“Och well, I was just supposin’. But I’m tould”&mdash;the many remarkable
+facts which Paddy had been tould lost nothing in repetition&mdash;“that
+they’ll sometimes have out a special train for a man in the army, if he
+wants to go anywhere partic’lar in a hurry; there’s iligance for you.
+And as for promotion, it’s that plinty you’ll scarce git time to
+remimber your rank from one day to the next, whether it’s a full private
+you are, or a lance-corporal, or maybe somethin’ greater. Troth, there’s
+nothin’ a man mayn’t rise to. And then, Mrs. Doherty, it’s the proud
+woman you’d be&mdash;<i>anybody’d</i> be&mdash;that they hadn’t stood in the way of it.
+And pensions&mdash;he might be pensioned off wid as much as a couple of
+shillin’s a day.”</p>
+
+<p>“Not this long while yet, plase the pigs,” broke out Mick, squaring his
+shoulders, as if Time were a visible antagonist, and momentarily
+forgetting the matter immediately in hand. “But there’s chances in
+it&mdash;splendid&mdash;och, it’s somethin’ you may call livin’.”</p>
+
+<p>“And,” said his friend, “the rations, I’m tould, is surprisin’ these
+times. The top of everythin’ that’s to be got, uncooked, widout bone.”</p>
+
+<p>Paddy and Mick discoursed for a good while in this strain about the
+dignities and amenities of a military life, and Mrs. Doherty had not
+much to say on the subject. During the conversation, however, she
+continued to rinse one of her aprons, and wring it dry very carefully,
+and drop it back into the water, like a machine slightly out of gear,
+which goes on repeating some process ineffectually. The two friends read
+in her silence an omen of acquiescent conviction, and congratulated each
+other upon it with furtive nods and winks. Mick went off to the bog in
+high feather, believing that the interview had been a great success, and
+that his mother was, as Paddy put it, “comin’ round to the notion
+gradual, like an ould goat grazin’ round its tetherin’ stump.” His
+hopes, indeed, were so completely in the ascendant that he summed up his
+most serious uneasiness when he said to himself: “She’ll do right
+enough, no fear, or I’d niver think of it, if Thady was just somethin’
+steadier. But sure he might happen to git a thrifle more wit yet; he’s
+no great age to spake of.”</p>
+
+<p>But when he came home about sunsetting, his mother was feeding her few
+hens outside their cabin, the end one of a mossy-roofed row, with its
+door turned at right angles to the others, looking out across the purple
+brown of the bog-land to the far-off hills, faint, like a blue mist with
+a waved pattern in it, against the horizon. Mick, brought up short by
+the group, woke out of his walking dream, in which he had been
+performing acts of valour to the tune of the “Soldier’s Chorus” in
+Gounod’s Faust, the last thing the band had played yesterday; and he
+noticed a diminution in the select circle of fowls, who crooned and
+crawked and pecked round the broken dish of scraps.</p>
+
+<p>“I see the specklety pullet’s after strayin’ on you agin,” he said;
+“herself’s the conthrary little bein’; I must take a look about for her
+prisintly.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah, sure she’s sold,” said his mother; “it’s too many I had altogether.
+I was torminted thryin’ to git feedin’ for them. So I sold her this
+mornin’ to Mrs. Dunne at Loughmore, that gave me a fine price for her.
+’Deed she’d have took her off of me this while back, on’y I’d just a
+sort of notion agin’ partin’ from the crathur. But be comin’ in to your
+supper, child alive; it’s ready waitin’ this good while. Molly’s below
+at her sister’s, and I dunno were Thady’s off to, so there’s on’y you
+and me in it to-night.”</p>
+
+<p>In the room the more familiar odour of turf-smoke was overborne by a
+crisp smell of baking, and Mrs. Doherty picked up a steaming plate which
+had been keeping warm on the hearth. “Isn’t that somethin’ like, now?”
+she said, setting it on the table triumphantly. “Rale grand they turned
+out this time, niver a scorch on the whole of them. I was afeard me hand
+might maybe ha’ got out o’ mixin’ them, ’t is so long since I had e’er a
+one for you; but sure I bought a half-stone of seconds wid the price of
+the little hin, and that’ll make a good few, so it will, jewel avic, and
+then we must see after some more. Take one of the thick bits, honey.”</p>
+
+<p>Probably most of us have had experience of the unceremonious methods
+which Fate often chooses when communicating to us important
+arrangements. We have seen by what a little seeming triviality of an
+incident she may intimate that our cherished hope has been struck dead,
+or that the execution of some other decree has turned the current of our
+life away. It is sometimes as if she contemptuously sent us a grotesque
+and dwarfish messenger, who makes grimaces at us while telling us the
+bad news, which is ungenerous and scarcely dignified. So we need not
+wonder if Mick Doherty had to read the death-warrant of his darling
+ambition in a pile of three-cornered griddle-cakes. At any rate, he did
+read it there swiftly as clearly. Most likely he knew it all before the
+plate was set on the table, and his heart had already gone down with a
+run when he replied to his mother’s commendations that they looked
+first-rate. As he indorsed this praise with what appetite he could,
+being, indeed, mechanically hungry, the uppermost thought in his mind
+was how he should at once let his mother understand that she had got the
+price she hoped for her pet hen; and after considering for a while, he
+said: “Did you ever notice the quare sort of lane-over the turf-stack
+out there’s takin’ on it? I question hadn’t we done righter to have took
+a leveller bit of ground for under it. But I was thinkin’ this
+mornin’<span class="lftspc">”</span>&mdash;of what a different subject he had been thinking!&mdash;“that next
+year I’d thry buildin’ it agin’ the back o’ th’ ould shed, where there
+does be ne’er a slant at all.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ay, sure that ’ud be grand,” said Mrs. Doherty, much more elated than
+if she had heard of a large fortune; “you couldn’t find an iliganter
+place for it in the width of this world.” She felt quite satisfied that
+her craftily timed treat had dispelled the dreaded danger, which
+actually was the case in a way. But if Mick would stay at home with her,
+she was perfectly content to suppose that she came after a griddle-cake
+in his estimation. Her relief made her unusually talkative; but Mick was
+reflecting between his answers how he must now tell Paddy Joyce that
+they were never to be comrades after all.</p>
+
+<p>He went out on this mission immediately after supper. The sun had gone
+down, and the cold clearness left showed things plainly, yet was not
+light. In front of the cabin-rows the small children of the place were
+screeching over their final romp and quarrel, as they did every evening;
+fowls and goats and pigs were settling down for the night with the
+squawks and bleats and squeals which also took place every evening; on
+the brown-hollowed grass-bank between Colgan’s and O’Reilly’s, old
+Morissy, the blind fiddler, was feebly scraping and twangling, according
+to his custom every evening, and, for that matter, all day long. Even
+the wisps of straw and scraps of paper blowing down the middle of the
+wide roadway seemed to have whirled over and over and caught in the
+rough patches of stone just so, as often as the sun had set. Close to
+the Joyces’, Mick met Peter Maclean driving home a brood of ducklings. A
+broad and burly man, who says “shoo-shoo” to a high-piping cluster of
+tiny yellow ducks, and flourishes a long willow wand to keep them from
+straggling out of their compacted trot, does undoubtedly present rather
+an absurd appearance; yet I cannot explain why the sight should have
+seemed to prick like a sting through the wide weary disgust which Mick
+experienced as he stood in the twilit boreen waiting for Paddy to come
+out. He had scarcely a grunt to exchange for Peter’s cheerful “Fine
+evenin’.” What does it signify in a universal desert whether evenings be
+fine or foul? Altogether, it was a bad time; and Mick acted wisely in
+taking precautions against its recurrence, especially as the obstacles
+which had confronted him nearly two years back were now more
+hope-baffling than ever. For the intervening months had not brought the
+desirable “thrifle more wit” to his unsteady brother Thady, who, on the
+contrary, was developing into one of those people whose
+good-for-nothingness is taken as a matter of course even by themselves;
+and a bolt was thus, so to speak, drawn across Mick’s locked door.</p>
+
+<p>He set off betimes on his long ramble. It was a cloudless July
+morning&mdash;the noon of summer by air and light as well as by the calendar.
+Even the barest tracts of the bog-land, which vary their aspect as
+little as may be from shifting season to season, were flecked with
+golden furze-blossom, and whitened with streaming tufts of fairy-cotton,
+and sun-warmed herbs were fragrant underfoot. Mick rather hurried over
+this stage of his “stravade,” partly because he foresaw a blazing hot
+day, and he wished to be among more broken ground, where there are
+sheltered hollows scooped in the “knockawns,” and cool patches under
+their bushes and boulders. He entered the region of these things before
+his shadow had shrunk to its briefest; for not so very far beyond
+Kilmacrone the smooth floor of the big bog crumples itself into crusts
+and ridges, as if it had caught the trick from its bounding ocean; and
+the nearer it comes to the shore the higher it heaves itself, until at
+last it is cut short by a sheer cliff wall, with storm-stunted brambles
+and furzes cowering along the edge, fathoms above a base-line of
+exuberant weed and foam. The long sea-frontage of this rock-rampart is
+fissured by only a few narrow clefts. On the left hand, facing
+oceanward, the coast is a labyrinth of mountain fiords, straits, and
+bays, where you may see great craggy shoulders and domed summits waver
+in their crystal calm at the flick of a gull’s dipping wing, or add to
+the terror of the tempest as they start out black and unmoved behind
+rifts of swirling mists. On the right there is the same fretwork of land
+and water, but wrought in less high relief&mdash;a tract of lonely strands,
+where shells and daisies whiten the grass, and pink-belled creepers
+trail, entangled with tawny-podded wrack, across the shingle. You are
+apt thereabouts to happen on clattering pebble-banks and curling foam
+when you are apparently deep among meadows and corn-land, or to come on
+sturdy green potato-drills round some corner where you had confidently
+supposed the unstable furrows of the sea. And the intricate ground-plan
+of the district must be long studied before you can always feel sure
+whether the low-shelving swarded edges by which you are walking frame
+salt or fresh water.</p>
+
+<p>Mick was bound eventually for one of those ravines which cleave the
+cliffs’ precipitous wall and give access to the shore, generally by a
+deep-sunken sandy boreen. Here, under a tall bank, there are a couple of
+cabins, besides another which, having lost its roof, may be reckoned as
+a half; so that Tullykillagin is not a large place, even as places go in
+its neighbourhood. He knew, however, that he could count upon getting
+something to eat at either of the two cabins first mentioned, and,
+indeed, at the bare-raftered one also, if, as often chanced, it was
+occupied by Tim Fottrel, the gatheremup; and this prospect served for an
+incentive, feeble enough, though it strengthened a little as the hours
+wore on. So languid, in fact, was his resolution that at one moment he
+thought he would just sthreel home again without going any farther; if
+he went aisy everybody would have cleared out of Kilmacrone before he
+got back. But at this time he was sitting among some broom-bushes, under
+which last year’s withered black pods were strewn, and he determined
+that if there were an odd number of seeds in the first one he opened he
+would go on to Tullykillagin. There were nine in it, and he logically
+continued to loiter seaward.</p>
+
+<p>He dawdled so much that when he came to the cliff the sun already hung
+low over the water, and as he walked along the edge his shadow stretched
+away far inland across the dappled pale and dark green of the
+furze-fretted sward. The sea unrolled a ceaseless scroll of faint
+wild-hyacinth colour, on which invisible breeze-wafts inscribed and
+erased mysterious curves and strokes like hieroglyphics. Here and there
+it showed deep purple stains; for a flight of little snowflake clouds
+were fluttering in from the Atlantic, followed at leisure by
+deep-folded, glistering drifts, now massed on the horizon-rim to muffle
+the descending sun. Yet that tide, with all its smoothness, showed a
+broad band of foam wherever it touched the pebbles, which lay dry before
+its sliding, for it was on its way in. It had nearly reached the cliff’s
+foot in most places; but Mick presently came to a point where he looked
+down on a small field of very green grass, set as an oasis between the
+waves and the walling rock, with a miniature chaos of heaped-up boulders
+to left and right. A few of them were scattered over it, and even the
+highest of these wore a scarf of leathery flat sea-ribbon, in token of
+occasional submergence; but amongst them grew hawthorn and sloe bushes,
+and a clump of scarlet-tasselled fuchsia. To heighten the incongruity of
+its aspect, this pasture was inhabited by a large strawberry cow, who
+seemed to be enjoying the alternate mouthfuls of seaweed and woodbine,
+which she munched off a thickly wreathed boulder, untroubled by the fact
+that the meal bade fair to be her last, since the rising spring tide had
+already all but cut off access on either hand, and would still flow for
+some hours.</p>
+
+<p>“Musha, now I’ll be skivered,” said Mick, standing still, “if that’s not
+Joe McEvoy’s ould cow. You’ll be apt to experience a dampin’, ould
+woman, if you don’t quit out of there. Whethen, it’s a quare man he is
+to lave the baste sthrayin’ about permiscuous in the welther of the
+tide.”</p>
+
+<p>He peered over the edge of the cliff, evidently mistrusting its smooth
+face; and then he threw several stones and clods at the cow, with shouts
+of “Hi, out of that!” and “Shoo along!” But his missiles fell short of
+their mark, and if his voice reached her, she treated it with the placid
+disregard of which her kind are mistress on such occasions, and never
+raised her crumple-horned head.</p>
+
+<p>“Have it your own way, then,” said Mick, cynically; “it’s nothin’ to me
+if you’ve a mind to thry a taste of swimmin’ under wather.”</p>
+
+<p>He had not, however, strolled much farther when he met with somebody who
+was vastly more concerned about the animal’s impending fate. This was
+old Joe McEvoy himself, who, out of the mouth of a steep, sandy boreen,
+sprang up suddenly, like a jack-fn-the-box-one of the shock-wigged,
+saturnine-complexioned pattern. But no jack-in-the-box could have looked
+so flurriedly distracted, or have muttered to itself such queer
+execrations as he did, hobbling along.</p>
+
+<p>“A year’s loadin’ of bad luck to the whoule of thim!” he was saying with
+gasps when Mick approached; “there’s not a one of thim but ’ud do
+desthruction on herself sooner than lose a chanst to be annoyin’
+anybody, if she could conthrive it no other way.”</p>
+
+<p>“If it’s th’ ould cow you’re cursin’,” said Mick, “she’s down below
+yonder.”</p>
+
+<p>“Och, tell me somethin’ I dunno, you gomeral, not but what I’m nigh as
+big a one meself as can be, to go thrust her wid that little imp of
+mischief. Bad scran to it, I must give me stiff leg a rest, and she’ll
+be up here blatherin’ after me before you can look round, you may bet
+your brogues she will.”</p>
+
+<p>“Gomeral yourself and save your penny,” said Mick, whose temper was not
+at its best after his long day of hungry discontent. “And the divil a
+call you have to be onaisy about the crathur follyin’ you anywheres.
+Stayin’ where she is she’s apt to be, until she gets the chanst of goin’
+out to say wid the turn of the tide, and that’s like enough to happen
+her.”</p>
+
+<p>“And who at all was talkin’ of the cow follyin’? It’s ould Biddy Duggan
+down below that nivir has her tongue off of me, nagglin’ at me for
+lettin’ the poor crathur pick her bit along the beach, and it a strip of
+the finest grass in the townland, when it’s above wather, just goin’ to
+loss. A couple of pints differ extry it does be makin’ in the milkin’ of
+a day she’s grazed there. But it’s threatenin’ dhrowndin’ and
+disthruction over it th’ ould banshee is this great while; and plased
+she’ll be, rale plased and sot up. Sure, that’s what goes agin’ me, to
+be so far gratifyin’ her, and herself as mischevious, harm-hopin’ an
+ould toad as iver I hated the sight of&mdash;Och, bejabers, didn’t I tell you
+so? It’s herself comin’ gabble-gobblin’ up.”</p>
+
+<p>As he spoke, a very small, meagre, raggged old woman emerged swiftly
+from the lane, accompanied by one younger and stouter and less nimble of
+foot, her temporary neighbour, Mrs. Gatheremup. Mrs. Duggan seemed to
+bear out Joe’s character of her; for now, like Spenser’s hag Occasion,
+“ever as she went her tongue did walk,” and the path it took was not one
+of peace. “Maybe, after this happenin’, some she could name might have
+the wit to believe what other people tould thim, who knew bitter than to
+be thinkin’ to feed a misfortnit crathur of an ould cow on sand and
+sayweed as if she was a sayl or a saygull, and it a scandal to the place
+to behould her foostherin’ along down there wid the waves’ edges
+slitherin’ up to her nose, and she sthrivin’ to graze, and the slippery
+stones fit to break her neck.” Such was the purport of Mrs. Duggan’s
+remarks, which were punctuated by Joe McEvoy’s peremptory requests that
+she would lave gabbin’ and givin’ impidence, and his appeals to the
+others to inform him whether they weren’t all to be pitied for havin’ to
+put up wid the ould screech-owl’s foolish talk.</p>
+
+<p>“Sure, that’s the way they do be keepin’ it up continial, Micky lad,”
+Mrs. Fottrel called to him, shrilly, as if athwart gusts of high wind.
+“I’ll pass yon me word the two of thim ’ll stand at their doors of an
+evenin” and give bad langwidge to aich other across the breadth of the
+road till they have us all fairly moidhered wid the bawls of thim, and I
+on’y wonder the thatch doesn’t take and slip down on their ould heads.”</p>
+
+<p>“Belike it’s lave of the likes of <i>you</i> I ought to be axin’ where I’m to
+git grazin’ for me own cattle?” a growl of sarcastic thunder was just
+then observing, to which flashed a scathing response: “And, bedad, then,
+it’s lave you had a right to be axin’ afore you sent off me poor son
+Hughey’s bit of a Pat, to be wastin’ his time mindin’ your ould
+scarecrow and gettin’ himself dhrownded in the tide. It’s no thanks to
+you if the innicent child isn’t as like as not lyin’ this minute under
+six fut of could wather, instead of fetchin’ me in the full of me kettle
+that I’m roarin’ to him for this half-hour, and niver a livin’ sinner
+widin sight or&mdash;”</p>
+
+<p>“Saints above! is little Pat strayin’ along wid the cow?” said Mrs.
+Fottrel, much aghast. “I was noticin’ I didn’t see him anywheres this
+evenin’. What’s to become of him down there, and it risin’ beyond the
+heighth of iverythin’ as fast as it can flow? Sure, this mornin’ ’t was
+wallopin’ itself agin’ the wall, back of our place, fit to swally all
+before it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why didn’t you tell me the child was below?” said Mick. “I’d lep down
+there and fetch him up aisy enough; on’y there was no mortial use goin’
+after the cow, for niver a crathur that took its stand on four hoofs ’ud
+git its own len’th up the cliff, unless it might be some little divil of
+a goat. And the wather’s dhrowndin’-deep alongside it afore now.”</p>
+
+<p>“Musha, good gracious! sure, all I done was to bid the spalpeen be
+keepin’ an eye on her now and agin while he would be playin’ about
+there,” said Joe; “and it’s twinty chances if ivir he did at all.
+Trapesed off wid himself somewheres; he’ll be right enough be this time.
+’T is n’t the likes of him to go to loss, it’s the quare five-poun’ note
+he’d fetch at Athenry fair.”</p>
+
+<p>“He might ha’ broke his legs climbin’ disp’rit on the rocks,” said Mrs.
+Fottrel, unconvinced by the argument from unsaleability,” and be lyin’
+there now waitin’ for the say-waves to wash the life out of him. Heaven
+pity the crathur!”</p>
+
+<p>“Sure, I’ll step down and see what’s gone wid him,” said Mick.</p>
+
+<p>The descent of the cliff, though not riskless, was no great feat for an
+active youth, and Mick accomplished it safely, but to little purpose, he
+thought at first, since the irreclaimable cow appeared to be the sole
+denizen of the shrinking beach. However, when he had shouted and
+scrambled for some time without result, he came abruptly upon a nook
+among the piled-up rocks, where a very small black-headed boy in
+tattered petticoats was digging the sandy floor with a razor-shell.</p>
+
+<p>“Och, it’s there you are,” said Mick, stepping down from a weedy ledge;
+“and what have you in it at all that you didn’t hear me bawlin’ to you?”</p>
+
+<p>“Throops,” said Pat, gloatingly, almost too absorbed t o glance off his
+work; “it’s Ballyclavvy, the way it did be in the school readin’-book at
+Duffclane. There’s the Roossian guns” (he pointed to a row of
+black-mouthed mussel-shells, mounted on periwinkle carriages), “and
+here’s the sides of the valley I’m makin’; long and narrer it was. Just
+step round and look at it from where I am, Micky, but don’t be clumpin’
+your fut on the French cavalary.”</p>
+
+<p>“The divil’s in it all,” said Mick, with a sudden bitter vehemence,
+which he accounted for to himself by adding, as he pointed toward the
+seething white line: “D’ you see where that’s come to, you little
+bosthoon? And you sittin’ grubbin’ away here as if you were
+pitaty-diggin’ a dozen mile inland.”</p>
+
+<p>Pat looked in the desired direction, but misapprehended the object to be
+the western sky, where an overblown fiery rose seemed to have scattered
+all its petals broadcast. “Sure, that’s on’y the sun settin’ red like,”
+he explained, indifferently, and would have resumed his excavations if
+he had not been seized and hustled half-way up the cliff before he could
+disengage his mind from his brigades and batteries. Both heads soon
+bobbed up over the edge without accident; for Pat climbed like a monkey
+when once he had grasped the situation. His grandmother’s attitude
+toward Joe McEvoy constrained her to receive him effusively as prey
+snatched from the foaming jaws of death; but it was out of Mrs.
+Fottrel’s pocket that a peppermint-drop came to sweetly seal his new
+lease of life.</p>
+
+<p>“And what are you after now, Mick?” she said, observing that, instead of
+drawing himself up to level ground, he stood poised on an uncomfortable
+perch, and looked back the steep way he had come.</p>
+
+<p>“I’m thinkin’ to slip down agin,” he said, “and see if be any manner of
+manes I could huroosha th’ ould baste round the rocks yonder. The wather
+mightn’t be altogither too deep there yit; at all evints, she’s between
+the divil and the deep say where she is now; it’s just a chanst.”</p>
+
+<p>“Sorra a much,” said Joe, disconsolately; “scarce worth breakin’ your
+bones after, any way.”</p>
+
+<p>“Bones, how are you? Sure, there’s no call to be breakin’ bones in the
+matter,” said Mick, beginning to descend. This was true enough, if he
+had minded what he was about; but then he did not. So far from it, he
+was saying to himself, “One ’ud ha’ thought now she might ha’ took a
+sort of pride in it,” when the bottom of the world seemed to drop away
+from under his feet, and his irrelevant meditations ended in a
+shattering thud down on the rocky pavement a long way below. He never
+heard the shouts and shrieks which the incident occasioned above his
+head. Once only he became dimly conscious of a quivering network of
+prismatic flashes, which he could not see through, and a booming throb
+in his ears, which made him murmur dazedly: “Wirra, I thought I’d got
+beyond hearin’ of them drums.” In another moment: “What’s took me?” he
+said, with a start. But the depths he sank among remain always dark and
+silent.</p>
+
+<p>Next day messengers from Tullykillagin told Mrs. Doherty that the Lord
+had “took” her son Mick, and that “he had gone out to say wid the tide,
+before they could get anybody to him, and there was no tellin’ where he
+might be swep’ up, if ever he came to shore at all.”</p>
+
+<p>“And the quarest part of it was that Joe McEvoy’s ould cow that he went
+after had legged herself up, somehow, on the rocks out of reach, and
+niver a harm on her when they found her in the mornin’. But she’d been
+all of a could quiver ever since, and himself doubted if she’d rightly
+git over it&mdash;might the divil mend her, and she after bein’ the death of
+a fine young man. Sure, every sowl up at Tullykillagin was rale annoyed
+about it. Even ould Biddy Duggan, that was as cross-tempered as a
+weasel, did be frettin’ for the lad; and Joe McEvoy was sittin’ crooched
+like an ould wet hen, over his fire block out, that he hadn’t the heart
+to be lightin’.”</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Doherty said she didn’t know what talk they had of the Lord and the
+say and the ould cow; but she’d known well enough the way it was when
+Mick niver come home last night. He’d just took off after the souldiers,
+as he’d a great notion one time.</p>
+
+<p>She was, as may have been observed, rather a dull-witted woman, and
+proportionately hard to convince against her will.</p>
+
+<p>“A great notion intirely,” she said; “on’y she’d scarce have thought
+he’d go do such a thing on her in airnest. And I runnin’ away indoors
+yisterday out of the heighth of the divarsion, when the band-music was a
+thrate to be hearin’, just to see his bit of supper wouldn’t be late on
+him. And the grand little pitaty-cake I had for him; I may be throwin’
+it to the hins now, unless Molly might fancy a bit; for we’ll not be apt
+to set eyes on him this three year. Och, wirra! and he that contint at
+home, and niver a word out of him about the souldierin’ this long while.
+If it had been poor Thady itself, ’t would ha’ been diff’rint; but
+Mick&mdash;I’d scarce ha’ thought it of him; for he’d a dale of good-nature,
+Mrs. Geoghegan, ma’am.”</p>
+
+<p>“He had so, tub-be sure, woman dear,” said Mrs. Geoghegan, “or he might
+be sittin’ warm in here this minnit.”</p>
+
+<p>“The back of me hand to thim blamed ould throopers,” said Mrs. Doherty,
+“that sets the lads wild wid their thrampin’ around.”</p>
+
+<p>“Poor Mick would be better wid them than where he is now&mdash;God have mercy
+on his soul!” said a neighbour, solemnly.</p>
+
+<p>But Mick’s mother continued to bewail herself: “And I missin’ the best
+of all the tunes they played, so Molly was tellin’ me, for ’fraid he’d
+be kep’ waitin’ for his supper, and he comin’ home to me hungry; and
+now&mdash;There’s a terrible len’th of time in three year. I wouldn’t ha’
+believed he’d ha’ done it on me.”</p>
+
+<h2><a name="THE_RIVAL_DREAMERS" id="THE_RIVAL_DREAMERS"></a>THE RIVAL DREAMERS<br /><br />
+BY JOHN BANIM</h2>
+
+<p class="nind"><span class="letra">M</span>R. WASHINGTON IRVING has already given to the public a version of an
+American legend, which, in a principal feature, bears some likeness to
+the following transcript of a popular Irish one. It may, however, be
+interesting to show this very coincidence between the descendants of a
+Dutch transatlantic colony and the native peasantry of Ireland, in the
+superstitious annals of both. Our tale, moreover, will be found original
+in all its circumstances, that alluded to only excepted.</p>
+
+<p>Shamus Dempsey returned a silent, plodding, sorrowful man, though a
+young one, to his poor home, after seeing laid in the grave his aged,
+decrepit father. The last rays of the setting sun were glorious,
+shooting through the folds of their pavilion of scarlet clouds; the last
+song of the thrush, chanted from the bough nearest to his nest, was
+gladdening; the abundant though but half-matured crops around breathed
+of hope for the future. But Shamus’s bosom was covered with the darkness
+that inward sunshine alone can illumine. The chord that should respond
+to song and melody had snapped in it; for him the softly undulating
+fields of light-green wheat, or the silken-surfaced patches of barley,
+made a promise in vain. He was poor, penniless, friendless, and yet
+groaning under responsibilities; worn out by past and present suffering,
+and without a consoling prospect. His father’s corpse had just been
+buried by a subscription among his neighbours, collected in an old
+glove, a penny or a half-penny from each, by the most active of the
+humble community to whom his sad state was a subject of pity. In the
+wretched shed which he called “home,” a young wife lay on a truss of
+straw, listening to the hungry cries of two little children, and
+awaiting her hour to become the weeping mother of a third. And the
+recollection that but for an act of domestic treachery experienced by
+his father and himself, both would have been comfortable and respectable
+in the world, aggravated the bitterness of the feeling in which Shamus
+contemplated his lot. He could himself faintly call to mind a time of
+early childhood, when he lived with his parents in a roomy house, eating
+and sleeping and dressing well, and surrounded by servants and workmen;
+he further remembered that a day of great affliction came, upon which
+strange and rude persons forced their way into the house; and, for some
+cause his infant observation did not reach, father, servants, and
+workmen (his mother had just died) were all turned out upon the road and
+doomed to seek the shelter of a mean roof. But his father’s discourse,
+since he gained the years of manhood, supplied Shamus with an
+explanation of all these circumstances, as follows.</p>
+
+<p>Old Dempsey had been the youngest son of a large farmer, who divided his
+lands between two elder children, and destined Shamus’s father to the
+Church, sending him abroad for education, and, during its course,
+supplying him with liberal allowances. Upon the eve of ordination the
+young student returned home to visit his friends; was much noticed by
+neighbouring small gentry of each religion; at the house of one of the
+opposite persuasion from his met a sister of the proprietor, who had a
+fortune in her own right; abandoned his clerical views for her smiles;
+eloped with her; married her privately; incurred thereby the irremovable
+hostility of his own family; but, after a short time, was received,
+along with his wife, by his generous brother-in-law, under whose
+guidance both became reputably settled in the house to which Shamus’s
+early recollections pointed and where, till he was about six years old,
+he passed indeed a happy childhood.</p>
+
+<p>But, a little previous to this time, his mother’s good brother died
+unmarried, and was succeeded by another of her brothers, who had
+unsuccessfully spent half his life as a lawyer in Dublin, and who,
+inheriting little of his predecessor’s amiable character, soon showed
+himself a foe to her and her husband, professedly on account of her
+marriage with a Roman Catholic. He did not appear to their visit,
+shortly after his arrival in their neighbourhood, and he never
+condescended to return it. The affliction experienced by his sensitive
+sister from his conduct entailed upon her a premature accouchement, in
+which, giving birth to a lifeless babe, she unexpectedly died. The event
+was matter of triumph rather than of sorrow to her unnatural brother.
+For, in the first place, totally unguarded against the sudden result,
+she had died intestate; in the next place, he discovered that her
+private marriage had been celebrated by a Roman Catholic priest,
+consequently could not, according to law, hold good; and again, could
+not give to her nominal husband any right to her property, upon which
+both had hitherto lived, and which was now the sole means of existence
+to Shamus’s father.</p>
+
+<p>The lawyer speedily set to work upon these points, and with little
+difficulty succeeded in supplying for Shamus’s recollections a day of
+trouble, already noticed. In fact, his father and he, now without a
+shilling, took refuge in a distant cabin, where, by the sweat of his
+parent’s brow, as a labourer in the fields, the ill-fated hero of this
+story was scantily fed and clothed, until maturer years enabled him to
+relieve the old man’s hand of the spade and sickle, and in turn labour
+for their common wants.</p>
+
+<p>Shamus, becoming a little prosperous in the funeral we now see Shamus
+returning, and to such a home does he bend his heavy steps.</p>
+
+<p>If to know that the enemy of his father and mother did not thrive on the
+spoils of his oppression could have yielded Shamus any consolation in
+his lot, he had long ago become aware of circumstances calculated to
+give this negative comfort. His maternal uncle enjoyed, indeed, his
+newly acquired property only a few years after it came into his
+possession. Partly on account of his cruelty to his relations, partly
+from a meanness and vulgarity of character, which soon displayed itself
+in his novel situation, and which, it was believed, had previously kept
+him in the lowest walks of his profession as a Dublin attorney, he found
+himself neglected and shunned by the gentry of his neighbourhood. To
+grow richer than those who thus insulted him, to blazon abroad reports
+of his wealth, and to watch opportunities of using it to their injury,
+became the means of revenge adopted by the parvenu. His legitimate
+income not promising a rapid accomplishment of this plan, he ventured,
+using precautions that seemingly set suspicion at defiance, to engage in
+smuggling-adventures on a large scale, for which his proximity to the
+coast afforded a local opportunity. Notwithstanding all his pettifogging
+cleverness, the ex-attorney was detected, however, in his illegal
+traffic, and fined to an amount which swept away half his real property.
+Driven to desperation by the publicity of his failure, as well as by the
+failure itself, he tried another grand effort to retrieve his fortune;
+was again surprised by the revenue officers; in a personal struggle with
+them, at the head of his band, killed one of their body; immediately
+absconded from Ireland; for the last twenty years had not been
+authentically heard of, but, it was believed, lived under an assumed
+name in London, deriving an obscure existence from some mean pursuit, of
+which the very nature enabled him to gratify propensities to drunkenness
+and other vices, learned during his first career in life.</p>
+
+<p>All this Shamus knew, though only from report, inasmuch as his uncle had
+exiled himself while he was yet a child, and without previously having
+become known to the eyes of the nephew he had so much injured. But if
+Shamus occasionally drew a bitter and almost savage gratification from
+the downfall of his inhuman persecutor, no recurrence to the past could
+alleviate the misery of his present situation.</p>
+
+<p>He passed under one of the capacious open arches of the old abbey, and
+then entered his squalid shed reared against its wall, his heart as
+shattered and as trodden down as the ruins around him. No words of
+greeting ensued between him and his equally hopeless wife, as she sat on
+the straw of her bed, rocking to sleep, with feeble and mournful cries,
+her youngest infant. He silently lighted a fire of withered twigs on his
+ready-furnished hearthstone; put to roast among their embers a few
+potatoes which he had begged during the day; divided them between her
+and her crying children; and, as the moon rising high in the heavens
+warned him that night asserted her full empire over the departed day,
+Shamus sank down upon the couch from which his father’s mortal remains
+had lately been borne, supperless himself, and dinnerless, too, but not
+hungry; at least not conscious or recollecting that he was.</p>
+
+<p>His wife and little ones soon slept soundly, but Shamus lay for hours
+inaccessible to nature’s claims for sleep as well as for food. From
+where he lay he could see, through the open front of his shed, out into
+the ruins abroad. After much abstraction in his own thoughts, the
+silence, the extent, and the peculiar desolation of the scene, almost
+spiritualised by the magic effect of alternate moonshine and darkness,
+of objects and of their parts, at last diverted his mind, though not to
+relieve it. He remembered distinctly, for the first time, where he
+was&mdash;an intruder among the dwellings of the dead; he called to mind,
+too, that the present was their hour for revealing themselves among the
+remote loneliness and obscurity of their crumbling and intricate abode.
+As his eye fixed upon a distant stream of cold light or of blank shadow,
+either the wavering of some feathery herbage from the walls or the
+flitting of some night-bird over the roofless aisle, made motion which
+went and came during the instant of his alarmed start, or else some
+disembodied sleeper around had challenged and evaded his vision so
+rapidly as to baffle even the accompaniment of thought. Shamus would,
+however, recur, during these entrancing aberrations, to his more real
+causes for terror; and he knew not, and to this day cannot distinctly
+tell, whether he waked or slept, when a new circumstance absorbed his
+attention. The moon struck fully, under his propped roof, upon the
+carved slab he had appropriated as a hearthstone; and turning his eye to
+the spot, he saw the semblance of a man advanced in years, though not
+very old, standing motionless, and very steadfastly regarding him. The
+still face of the figure shone like marble in the night-beam, without
+giving any idea of the solidity of that material; the long and deep
+shadows thrown by the forehead over the eyes left those unusally
+expressive features vague and uncertain. Upon the head was a
+close-fitting black cap, the dress was a loose-sleeved, plaited garment
+of white, descending to the ground, and faced and otherwise checkered
+with black, and girded round the loins; exactly the costume which Shamus
+had often studied in a little framed and glazed print, hung up in the
+sacristy of the humble chapel recently built in the neighbourhood of the
+ruin by a few descendants of the great religious fraternity to whom, in
+its day of pride, the abbey had belonged. As he returned very
+inquisitively, though, as he avers, not now in alarm, the fixed gaze of
+his midnight visitor, a voice reached him, and he heard these strange
+words:</p>
+
+<p>“Shamus Dempsey, go to London Bridge, and you will be a rich man.”</p>
+
+<p>“How will that come about, your reverence?” cried Shamus, jumping up
+from the straw.</p>
+
+<p>But the figure was gone; and stumbling among the black embers on the
+remarkable place where it had stood, he fell prostrate, experiencing a
+change of sensation and of observance of objects around, which might be
+explained by supposing a transition from a sleeping to a waking state of
+mind.</p>
+
+<p>The rest of the night he slept little, thinking of the advice he had
+received, and of the mysterious personage who gave it. But he resolved
+to say nothing about his vision, particularly to his wife, lest, in her
+present state of health, the frightful story might distress her; and, as
+to his own conduct respecting it, he determined to be guided by the
+future; in fact, he would wait to see if his counsellor came again. He
+did come again, appearing in the same spot at the same hour of the
+night, and wearing the same dress, though not the same expression of
+feature; for the shadowy brows now slightly frowned, and a little
+severity mingled with the former steadfastness of look.</p>
+
+<p>“Shamus Dempsey, why have you not gone to London Bridge, and your wife
+so near the time when she will want what you are to get by going there?
+Remember, this is my second warning.”</p>
+
+<p>“Musha, your reverence, an’ what am I to do on Lunnon Bridge?”</p>
+
+<p>Again he rose to approach the figure; again it eluded him. Again a
+change occurred in the quality of the interest with which he regarded
+the admonition of his visitor. Again he passed a day of doubt as to the
+propriety of undertaking what seemed to him little less than a journey
+to the world’s end, without a penny in his pocket, and upon the eve of
+his wife’s accouchement, merely in obedience to a recommendation which,
+according to his creed, was not yet sufficiently strongly given, even
+were it under any circumstances to be adopted. For Shamus had often
+heard, and firmly believed, that a dream or a vision instructing one how
+to procure riches ought to be experienced three times before it became
+entitled to attention.</p>
+
+<p>He lay down, however, half hoping that his vision might thus recommend
+itself to his notice It did so.</p>
+
+<p>“Shamus Dempsey,” said the figure, looking more angry than ever, “you
+have not yet gone to London Bridge, although I hear your wife dying out
+to bid you go. And, remember, this s my third warning.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why, then, tundher an’ ouns, your reverence, just stop and tell me-“</p>
+
+<p>Ere he could utter another word the holy visitant disappeared, in a real
+passion at Shamus’s qualified curse; and at the same moment his confused
+senses recognised the voice of his wife, sending up from her straw
+pallet the cries that betoken a mother’s distant travail. Exchaning a
+few words with her, he hurried away. professedly call up, at her cabin
+window, an old crane who sometimes attended the very poorest women in
+Nance Dempsey’s situation.</p>
+
+<p>“Hurry to her, Noreen, acuishla, and do the best it’s the will of God to
+let you do. And tell her from me, Noreen&mdash;” He stopped, drawing in his
+lip, and clutching his cudgel hard.</p>
+
+<p>“Shamus, what ails you, avick?” asked old Noreen; “what ails you, to
+make the tears run down in the gray o’ the morning?”</p>
+
+<p>“Tell her from me,” continued Shamus, “that it’s from the bottom o’ the
+heart I’ll pray, morning and evening, and fresh and fasting, maybe, to
+give her a good time of it; and to show her a face on the poor child
+that’s coming, likelier than the two that God sent afore it. And that
+I’ll be thinking o’ picturing it to my own mind, though I’ll never see
+it far away.”</p>
+
+<p>“Musha, Shamus, what are you speaking of?”</p>
+
+<p>“No Matter, Noreen, only God be wid you, and wid her, and wid the
+weenocks; and tell her what I bid you. More-be-token, tell her that poor
+Shamus quits her in her throuble wid more love from the heart out than
+he had for her the first day we came together; and I’ll come back to her
+at any rate, sooner or later, richer or poorer, or as bare as I went;
+and maybe not so bare either. But God only knows. The top o’ the morning
+to you, Noreen, and don’t let her want the mouthful o’ praties while I’m
+on my thravels. For this,” added Shamus, as he bounded off, to the
+consternation of old Noreen&mdash;“this is the very morning and the very
+minute that, if I mind the dhrame at all at all, I ought to mind it; ay,
+without ever turning back to get a look from her, that ’ud kill the
+heart in my body entirely.”</p>
+
+<p>Without much previous knowledge of the road he was to take, Shamus
+walked and begged his way along the coast to the town where he might
+hope to embark for England. Here the captain of a merchantman agreed to
+let him work his passage to Bristol, whence he again walked and begged
+into London.</p>
+
+<p>Without taking rest or food, Shamus proceeded to London Bridge, often
+put out of his course by wrong directions, and as often by forgetting
+and misconceiving true ones. It was with old London Bridge that Shamus
+had to do (not the old one last pulled down, but its more reverend
+predecessor), which, at that time, was lined at either side by quaintly
+fashioned houses, mostly occupied by shopkeepers, so that the space
+between presented perhaps the greatest thoroughfare then known in the
+Queen of Cities. And at about two o’clock in the afternoon, barefooted,
+ragged, fevered, and agitated, Shamus mingled with the turbid human
+stream, that roared and chafed over the as restless and as evanescent
+stream which buffeted the arches of old London Bridge. In a situation so
+novel to him, so much more extraordinary in the reality than his
+anticipation could have fancied, the poor and friendless stranger felt
+overwhelmed. A sense of forlornness, of insignificance, and of terror
+seized upon his faculties. From the stare or the sneers or the jostle of
+the iron-nerved crowd he shrank with glances of wild timidity, and with
+a heart as wildly timid as were his looks. For some time he stood or
+staggered about, unable to collect his thoughts, or to bring to mind
+what was his business there. But when Shamus became able to refer to the
+motive of his pauper journey from his native solitudes into the thick of
+such a scene, it was no wonder that the zeal of superstition totally
+subsided amid the astounding truths he witnessed. In fact, the
+bewildered simpleton now regarded his dream as the merest chimera.
+Hastily escaping from the thoroughfare, he sought out some wretched
+place of repose suited to his wretched condition, and there mooned
+himself asleep, in self-accusations at the thought of poor Nance at
+home, and in utter despair of all his future prospects.</p>
+
+<p>At daybreak the next morning he awoke, a little less agitated, but still
+with no hope. He was able, however, to resolve upon the best course of
+conduct now left open to him; and he arranged immediately to retrace his
+steps to Ireland, as soon as he should have begged sufficient alms to
+speed him a mile on the road. With this intent he hastily issued forth,
+preferring to challenge the notice of chance passengers, even at the
+early hour of dawn, than to venture again, in the middle of the day,
+among the dreaded crowds of the vast city. Very few, indeed, were the
+passers-by whom Shamus met during his straggling and stealthy walk
+through the streets, and those of a description little able or willing
+to afford a half-penny to his humbled, whining suit, and to his spasmed
+lip and watery eye. In what direction he went Shamus did not know; but
+at last he found himself entering upon the scene of his yesterday’s
+terror. Now, however, it presented nothing to renew its former
+impression. The shops at the sides of the bridge were closed, and the
+occasional stragglers of either sex who came along inspired Shamus,
+little as he knew of a great city, with aversion rather than with dread.
+In the quietness and security of his present position, Shamus was both
+courageous and weak enough again to summon up his dream.</p>
+
+<p>“Come,” he said, “since I <i>am</i> on Lunnon Bridge, I’ll walk over every
+stone of it, and see what good that will do.”</p>
+
+<p>He valiantly gained the far end. Here one house, of all that stood upon
+the bridge, began to be opened; it was a public-house, and, by a
+sidelong glance as he passed, Shamus thought that, in the person of a
+red-cheeked, red-nosed, sunken-eyed, elderly man, who took down the
+window-shutters, he recognised the proprietor. This person looked at
+Shamus, in return, with peculiar scrutiny. The wanderer liked neither
+his regards nor the expression of his countenance, and quickened his
+steps onward until he cleared the bridge.</p>
+
+<p>“But I’ll walk it over at the other side now,” he bethought, after
+allowing the publican time to finish opening his house and retire out of
+view.</p>
+
+<p>But, repassing the house, the man still appeared, leaning against his
+door-jamb, and as if waiting for Shamus’s return, whom, upon this second
+occasion, he eyed more attentively than before.</p>
+
+<p>“Sorrow’s in him,” thought Shamus, “have I two heads on me, that I’m
+such a sight to him? But who cares about his pair of ferret eyes? I’ll
+thrudge down the middle stone of it, at any rate!”</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly, he again walked toward the public-house, keeping the middle
+of the bridge.</p>
+
+<p>“Good-morrow, friend,” said the publican, as Shamus a third time passed
+his door.</p>
+
+<p>“Sarvant kindly, sir,” answered Shamus, respectfully pulling down the
+brim of his hat, and increasing his pace.</p>
+
+<p>“Am early hour you choose for a morning walk,” continued his new
+acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>“Brave and early, faix, sir,” said Shamus, still hurrying off.</p>
+
+<p>“Stop a bit,” resumed the publican. Shamus stood still. “I see you’re a
+countryman of mine&mdash;an Irishman; I’d know one of you at a look, though
+I’m a long time out of the country. And you’re not very well off on
+London Bridge this morning, either.”</p>
+
+<p>“No, indeed, sir,” replied Shamus, beginning to doubt his skill in
+physiognomy, at the stranger’s kind address; “but as badly off as a body
+’ud wish to be.”</p>
+
+<p>“Come over to look for the work?”</p>
+
+<p>“Nien, sir; but come out this morning to beg a ha’-penny, to send me a
+bit of the road home.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well, here’s a silver sixpence without asking. And you’d better sit on
+the bench by the door here, and eat a crust and a cut of cheese, and
+drink a drop of good ale, to break your fast.”</p>
+
+<p>With profuse thanks Shamus accepted this kind invitation, blaming
+himself at heart for having allowed his opinion of the charitable
+publican to be guided by the expression of the man’s features. “Handsome
+is that handsome does,” was Shamus’s self-correcting reflection.</p>
+
+<p>While eating his bread and cheese and drinking his strong ale, they
+conversed freely together, and Shamus’s heart opened more and more to
+his benefactor. The publican repeatedly asked him what had brought him
+to London; and though, half out of prudence and half out of shame, the
+dreamer at first evaded the question, he felt it at last impossible to
+refuse a candid answer to his generous friend.</p>
+
+<p>“Why, then, sir, only I am such a big fool for telling it to you, it’s
+what brought me to Lunnon Bridge was a quare dhrame I had at home in
+Ireland, that tould me just to come here, and I’d find a pot of goold.”
+For such was the interpretation given by Shamus to the vague admonition
+of his visionary counsellor.</p>
+
+<p>His companion burst into a loud laugh, saying after it:</p>
+
+<p>“Pho, pho, man, don’t be so silly as to put faith in nonsensical dreams
+of that kind. Many a one like it I have had, if I would bother my head
+with them. Why, within the last ten days, while you were dreaming of
+finding a pot of gold on London Bridge, I was dreaming of finding a pot
+of gold in Ireland.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ullaloo, and were you, sir?” asked Shamus, laying down his empty pint.</p>
+
+<p>“Ay, indeed; night after night an old friar with a pale face, and
+dressed all in white and black, and a black skull-cap on his head, came
+to me in a dream, and bid me go to Ireland, to a certain spot in a
+certain county that I know very well, and under the slab of his tomb,
+that has a cross and some old Romish letters on it, in an old abbey I
+often saw before now, I’d find a treasure that would make me a rich man
+all the days of my life.”</p>
+
+<p>“Musha, sir,” asked Shamus, scarce able prudently to control his
+agitation,” and did he tell you that the treasure lay buried there ever
+so long under the open sky and the ould walls?”</p>
+
+<p>“No; but he told me I was to find the slab covered in by a shed that a
+poor man had lately built inside the abbey for himself and his family.”</p>
+
+<p>“Whoo, by the powers!” shouted Shamus, at last thrown off his guard by
+the surpassing joy derived from this intelligence, as well as by the
+effects of the ale; and at the same time he jumped up, cutting a caper
+with his legs, and flourishing his shillalah.</p>
+
+<p>“Why, what’s the matter with you?” asked his friend, glancing at him a
+frowning and misgiving look.</p>
+
+<p>“We ax pardon, sir.” Shamus rallied his prudence. “An’, sure, sorrow a
+thing is the matter wid me, only the dhrop, I believe, made me do it, as
+it ever and always does, good luck to it for the same. An’ isn’t what we
+were spaking about the biggest <i>raumaush</i><a name="FNanchor__2" id="FNanchor__2"></a>
+<a href="#Footnote__2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a>
+ undher the
+sun, sir? Only it’s the laste bit in the world quare to me how you’d
+have the dhrame about your own country, that you didn’t see for so many
+years, sir&mdash;for twenty long years, I think you said, sir?” Shamus had
+now a new object in putting his sly question.</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote__2" id="Footnote__2"></a>
+<a href="#FNanchor__2">[2]</a><span class="label">Nonsense.</span></p></div>
+
+<p>“If I said so, I forgot,” answered the publican, his suspicions of
+Shamus at an end. “But it is about twenty years, indeed, since I left
+Ireland.”</p>
+
+<p>“And by your speech, sir, and your dacency, I’ll engage you were in a
+good way in the poor place afore you left it?”</p>
+
+<p>“You guess correctly, friend.” (The publican gave way to vanity.)
+“Before misfortunes came over me, I possessed, along with a good hundred
+acres besides, the very ground that the old ruin I saw in the foolish
+dream I told you stands upon.”</p>
+
+<p>“An’ so did my curse-o’-God’s uncle,” thought Shamus, his heart’s blood
+beginning to boil, though, with a great effort, he kept himself
+seemingly cool. “And this is the man fornent me, if he answers another
+word I’ll ax him. Faix, sir, and sure that makes your dhrame quarer than
+ever; and the ground the ould abbey is on, sir, and the good acres round
+it, did you say they lay somewhere in the poor county myself came from?”</p>
+
+<p>“What county is that, friend?” demanded the publican, again with a
+studious frown.</p>
+
+<p>“The ould County Monaghan, sure, sir,” replied Shamus, very
+deliberately.</p>
+
+<p>“No, but the county of Clare,” answered his companion.</p>
+
+<p>“Was it?” screamed Shamus, again springing up. The cherished hatred of
+twenty years imprudently bursting out, his uncle lay stretched at his
+feet, after a renewed flourish of his cudgel. “And do you know who you
+are telling it to this morning? Did you ever hear that the sisther you
+kilt left a bit of a gorsoon behind her, that one day or other might
+overhear you? Ay,” he continued, keeping down the struggling man, “<i>It
+is</i> poor Shamus Dempsey that’s kneeling by you; ay, and that has more to
+tell you. The shed built over the old friar’s tombstone was built by the
+hands you feel on your throttle, and that tombstone is his hearthstone;
+and,” continued Shamus, beginning to bind the prostrate man with a rope
+snatched from a bench near them, “while you lie here awhile, an’ no one
+to help you, in the cool of the morning, I’ll just take a start of you
+on the road home, to lift the flag and get the threasure; and follow me
+if you dare! You know there’s good money bid for your head in
+Ireland&mdash;so here goes. Yes, faith, and wid this-<i>this</i> to help me on the
+way!” He snatched up a heavy purse which had fallen from his uncle’s
+pocket in the struggle. “And sure, there’s neither hurt nor harm in
+getting back a little of a body’s own from you. A bright goodmorning,
+uncle dear!”</p>
+
+<p>Shamus dragged his manacled relative into the shop, quickly shut to and
+locked the door, flung the key over the house into the Thames, and the
+next instant was running at headlong speed.</p>
+
+<p>He was not so deficient in the calculations of common sense as to think
+himself yet out of his uncle’s power. It appeared, indeed, pretty
+certain that, neither for the violence done to his person nor for the
+purse appropriated by his nephew, the outlawed murderer would raise a
+hue and cry after one who, aware of his identity, could deliver him up
+to the laws of his country. But Shamus felt certain that it would be a
+race between him and his uncle for the treasure that lay under the
+friar’s tombstone. His simple nature supplied no stronger motive for a
+pursuit on the part of a man whose life now lay in the breath of his
+mouth. Full of his conviction, however, Shamus saw he had not a moment
+to lose until the roof of his shed in the old abbey again sheltered him.
+So, freely making use of his uncle’s guineas, he purchased a strong
+horse in the outskirts of London, and, to the surprise if not under
+heavy suspicions of the vender, set off at a gallop upon the road by
+which he had the day before gained the great metropolis.</p>
+
+<p>A ship was ready to sail at Bristol for Ireland; but, to Shamus’s
+discomfiture, she waited for a wind. He got aboard, however, and in the
+darksome and squalid hold often knelt down, and, with clasped hands and
+panting breast, petitioned Heaven for a favourable breeze. But from
+morning until evening the wind remained as he had found it, and Shamus
+despaired. His uncle, meantime, might have reached some other port, and
+embarked for their country. In the depth of his anguish he heard a brisk
+bustle upon deck, clambered up to investigate its cause, and found the
+ship’s sails already half unfurled to a wind that promised to bear him
+to his native shores by the next morning. The last light of day yet
+lingered in the heavens; he glanced, now under way, to the quay of
+Bristol. A group who had been watching the departure of the vessel
+turned round to note the approach to them of a man, who ran furiously
+toward the place where they stood, pointing after her, and evidently
+speaking with vehemence, although no words reached Shamus’s ear. Neither
+was his eye sure of this person’s features, but his heart read them
+distinctly. A boat shot from the quay; the man stood up in it, and its
+rowers made a signal.</p>
+
+<p>Shamus stepped to the gangway, as if preparing to hurl his pursuer into
+the sea. The captain took a speaking-trumpet, and informing the boat
+that he could not stop an instant, advised her to wait for another
+merchantman, which would sail in an hour. And during and after his
+speech his vessel ploughed cheerily on, making as much way as she was
+adapted to accomplish.</p>
+
+<p>Shamus’s bosom felt lightened of its immediate terror, but not freed of
+apprehension for the future. The ship that was to sail in an hour
+haunted his thoughts; he did not leave the deck, and, although the night
+proved very dark, his anxious eyes were never turned from the English
+coast. Unusual fatigue and want of sleep now and then overpowered him,
+and his senses swam in a wild and snatching slumber; but from this he
+would start, crying out and clinging to the cordage, as the feverish
+dream of an instant presented him with the swelling canvas of a
+fast-sailing ship, which came, suddenly bursting through the gloom of
+midnight, alongside of his own. Morning dawned, really to unveil to him
+the object of his fears following almost in the wake of her rival. He
+glanced in the opposite direction, and beheld the shores of Ireland; in
+another hour he jumped upon them; but his enemy’s face watched him from
+the deck of the companion vessel, now not more than a few ropes’ lengths
+distant.</p>
+
+<p>Shamus mounted a second good horse, and spurred toward home. Often did
+he look back, but without seeing any cause for increased alarm. As yet,
+however, the road had been level and winding, and therefore could not
+allow him to span much of it at a glance. After noon it ascended a high
+and lengthened hill surrounded by wastes of bog. As he gained the summit
+of this hill, and again looked back, a horseman appeared, sweeping to
+its foot. Shamus galloped at full speed down the now quickly falling
+road; then along its level continuation for about a mile; and then up
+another eminence, more lengthened, though not so steep as the former;
+and from it still he looked back, and caught the figure of the horseman
+breaking over the line of the hill he had passed. For hours such was the
+character of the chase, until the road narrowed and began to wind amid
+an uncultivated and uninhabited mountain wilderness. Here Shamus’s horse
+tripped and fell; the rider, little injured, assisted him to his legs,
+and, with lash and spur, re-urged him to pursue his course. The animal
+went forward in a last effort, and for still another span of time well
+befriended his rider. A rocky valley, through which both had been
+galloping, now opened at its farther end, presenting to Shamus’s eye, in
+the distance, the sloping ground, and the ruin which, with its
+mouldering walls, encircled his poor home; and the setting sun streamed
+golden rays through the windows and rents of the old abbey.</p>
+
+<p>The fugitive gave a weak cry of joy, and lashed his beast again. The cry
+seemed to be answered by a shout; and a second time, after a wild
+plunge, the horse fell, now throwing Shamus off with a force that left
+him stunned. And yet he heard the hoofs of another horse come thundering
+down the rocky way; and, while he made a faint effort to rise on his
+hands and look at his pursuer, the horse and horseman were very near,
+and the voice of his uncle cried, “Stand!” at the same time that the
+speaker fired a pistol, of which the ball struck a stone at Shamus’s
+foot. The next moment his uncle, having left his saddle, stood over him,
+presenting a second pistol, and he spoke in a low but distinct voice.</p>
+
+<p>“Spawn of a beggar! This is not merely for the chance of riches given by
+our dreams, though it seems, in the teeth of all I ever thought, that
+the devil tells truth at last. No, nor it is not quite for the blow; but
+it <i>is</i> to close the lips that, with a single word, can kill me. You die
+to let me live!”</p>
+
+<p>“Help!” aspirated Shamus’s heart, turning itself to Heaven. “Help me but
+now, not for the sake of the goold either, but for the sake of them that
+will be left on the wild world widout me; for them help me, great God!”</p>
+
+<p>Hitherto his weakness and confusion had left him passive. Before his
+uncle spoke the last words, his silent prayer was offered, and Shamus
+had jumped upon his assailant. They struggled and dragged each other
+down. Shamus felt the muzzle of the pistol at his breast; heard it
+snap&mdash;but only snap; he seized and mastered it, and once more the uncle
+was at the mercy of his nephew. Shamus’s hand was raised to deal a good
+blow; but he checked himself, and addressed the almost senseless ears of
+his captive.</p>
+
+<p>“No; you’re my mother’s blood, and a son of hers will never draw it from
+your heart; but I can make sure of you again; stop a bit.”</p>
+
+<p>He ran to his own prostrate horse, took off its bridle and its
+saddle-girth, and with both secured his uncle’s limbs beyond all
+possibility of the struggler being able to escape from their control.</p>
+
+<p>“There,” resumed Shamus; “lie there till we have time to send an ould
+friend to see you, that, I’ll go bail, will take good care of your four
+bones. And do you know where I’m going now? You tould me, on Lunnon
+Bridge, that you knew <i>that</i>, at least,” pointing to the abbey; “ay, and
+the quare ould hearthstone that’s to be found in it. And so, look at
+this, uncle, honey.” He vaulted upon his relative’s horse. “I’m just
+goin’ to lift it off o’ the barrel-pot full of good ould goold, and you
+have only to cry halves, and you’ll get it, as, sure as that the big
+divil is in the town you came from.”</p>
+
+<p>Nance Dempsey was nursing her new-born babe, sitting up in her straw,
+and doing very well after her late illness, when old Noreen tottered in
+from the front of the ruin to tell her that “the body they were just
+speaking about was driving up the hill mad, like as if’t was his own
+sperit in great throuble.” And the listener had not recovered from her
+surprise when Shamus ran into the shed, flung himself, kneeling, by her
+side, caught her in his arms, then seized her infant, covered it with
+kisses, and then, roughly throwing it in her lap, turned to the
+fireplace, raised one of the rocky seats lying near it, poised the
+ponderous mass over the hearthstone, and shivered into pieces, with one
+crash, that solid barrier between him and his visionary world of wealth.</p>
+
+<p>“It’s cracked he is out an’ out of a certainty,” said Nance, looking
+terrified at her husband.</p>
+
+<p>“Nothing else am I,” shouted Shamus, after groping under the broken
+slab; “an’, for a token, get along wid yourself out of this, ould gran!”</p>
+
+<p>He started up and seized her by the shoulder. Noreen remonstrated. He
+stooped for a stone; she ran; he pursued her to the arches of the ruin.
+She stopped half-way down the descent. He pelted her with clods to the
+bottom, and along a good piece of her road homeward, and then danced
+back into his wife’s presence.</p>
+
+<p>“Now, Nance,” he cried, “now that we’re by ourselves, what noise is this
+like?”</p>
+
+<p>“And he took out han’fuls after han’fuls of the ould goold afore her
+face, my dear,” added the original narrator of this story.</p>
+
+<p>“An’ after the gaugers and their crony, Ould Nick, ran off wid the uncle
+of him, Nance and he and the childer lived together in their father’s
+and mother’s house; and if they didn’t live and die happy, I wish that
+you and I may.”</p>
+
+<h2><a name="NEAL_MALONE" id="NEAL_MALONE"></a>NEAL MALONE<br /><br />
+BY WILLIAM CARLETON</h2>
+
+<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span>HERE never was a greater-souled or doughtier tailor than little Neal
+Malone. Though but four feet four in height, he paced the earth with the
+courage and confidence of a giant; nay, one would have imagined that he
+walked as if he feared the world itself was about to give way under him.
+Let no one dare to say in future that a tailor is but the ninth part of
+a man. That reproach has been gloriously taken away from the character
+of the cross-legged corporation by Neal Malone. He has wiped it off like
+a stain from the collar of a secondhand coat; he has pressed this
+wrinkle out of the lying front of antiquity; he has drawn together this
+rent in the respectability of his profession. No. By him who was
+breeches-maker to the gods,&mdash;that is, except, like Highlanders, they
+eschewed inexpressibles,&mdash;by him who cut Jupiter’s frieze jocks for
+winter, and eke by the bottom of his thimble, we swear that Neal Malone
+was <i>more</i> than the ninth part of a man.</p>
+
+<p>Setting aside the Patagonians, we maintain that two thirds of mortal
+humanity were comprised in Neal; and perhaps we might venture to assert
+that two thirds of Neal’s humanity were equal to six thirds of another
+man’s. It is right well known that Alexander the Great was a little man,
+and we doubt whether, had Alexander the Great been bred to the tailoring
+business, he would have exhibited so much of the hero as Neal Malone.
+Neal was descended from a fighting family, who had signalised themselves
+in as many battles as ever any single hero of antiquity fought. His
+father, his grandfather, and his great-grandfather were all fighting
+men, and his ancestors in general, up, probably, to Con of the Hundred
+Battles himself. No wonder, therefore, that Neal’s blood should cry out
+against the cowardice of his calling; no wonder that he should be an
+epitome of all that was valorous and heroic in a peaceable man, for we
+neglected to inform the reader that Neal, though “bearing no base mind,”
+never fought any man in his own person. That, however, deducted nothing
+from his courage. If he did not fight it was simply because he found
+cowardice universal. No man would engage him; his spirit blazed in vain;
+his thirst for battle was doomed to remain unquenched, except by whisky,
+and this only increased it. In short, he could find no foe. He has often
+been known to challenge the first cudgel-players and pugilists of the
+parish, to provoke men of fourteenstone weight, and to bid mortal
+defiance to faction heroes of all grades-but in vain. There was that in
+him which told them that an encounter with Neal would strip them of
+their laurels. Neal saw all this with a lofty indignation; he deplored
+the degeneracy of the times, and thought it hard that the descendant of
+such a fighting family should be doomed to pass through life peaceably,
+whilst so many excellent rows and riots took place around him. It was a
+calamity to see every man’s head broken but his own; a dismal thing to
+observe his neighbours go about with their bones in bandages, yet his
+untouched, and his friends beat black and blue, whilst his own cuticle
+remained unscoloured.</p>
+
+<p>“Blur an’ agers!” exclaimed Neal one day, when half tipsy in the fair,
+“am I never to get a bit o’ figtin’? Is there no cowardly spalpeen to
+stand afore Neal Malone? Be this an’ be that, I’m blue-mowlded for want
+of a batin’! I’m disgracin’ my relations by the life I’m ladin’! Will
+none o’ ye fight me aither for love, money, or whisky, frind or inimy,
+an’ bad luck to ye? I don’t care a traneen which, only out o’ pure
+frindship, let us have a morsel o’ the rale kick-up, ’t any rate. Frind
+or inimy, I say agin, if you regard me; sore <i>that</i> makes no differ,
+only let us have the fight.”</p>
+
+<p>This excellent heroism was all wasted; Neal could not find a single
+adversary. Except he divided himself like Hotspur, and went to buffets
+one hand against the other, there was no chance of a fight; no person to
+be found sufficiently magnanimous to encounter the tailor. On the
+contrary, every one of his friends&mdash;or, in other words, every man in the
+parish&mdash;was ready to support him. He was clapped on the back until his
+bones were nearly dislocated in his body, and his hand shaken until his
+arm lost its cunning at the needle for half a week afterward. This, to
+be sure, was a bitter business, a state of being past endurance. Every
+man was his friend&mdash;no man was his enemy. A desperate position for any
+person to find himself in, but doubly calamitous to a martial tailor.</p>
+
+<p>Many a dolourous complaint did Neal make upon the misfortune of having
+none to wish him ill; and what rendered this hardship doubly oppressive
+was the unlucky fact that no exertions of his, however offensive, could
+procure him a single foe. In vain did he insult, abuse, and malign all
+his acquaintances. In vain did he father upon them all the rascality and
+villainy he could think of; he lied against them with a force and
+originality that would have made many a modern novelist blush for want
+of invention&mdash;but all to no purpose. The world for once became
+astonishingly Christian; it paid back all his efforts to excite its
+resentment with the purest of charity; when Neal struck it on the one
+cheek, it meekly turned unto him the other. It could scarcely be
+expected that Neal would bear this. To have the whole world in
+friendship with a man is beyond doubt an affliction. Not to have the
+face of a single enemy to look upon would decidedly be considered a
+deprivation of many agreeable sensations by most people as well as by
+Neal Malone. Let who might sustain a loss or experience a calamity, it
+was a matter of indifference to Neal. They were only his friends, and he
+troubled neither his head nor his heart about them.</p>
+
+<p>Heaven help us! There is no man without his trials; and Neal, the reader
+perceives, was not exempt from his. What did it avail him that he
+carried a cudgel ready for all hostile contingencies, or knit his brows
+and shook his kippeen at the fiercest of his fighting friends? The
+moment he appeared they softened into downright cordiality. His presence
+was the signal of peace; for, notwithstanding his unconquerable
+propensity to warfare, he went abroad as the genius of unanimity, though
+carrying in his bosom the redoubtable disposition of a warrior; just as
+the sun, though the source of light himself, is said to be dark enough
+at bottom.</p>
+
+<p>It could not be expected that Neal, with whatever fortitude he might
+bear his other afflictions, could bear such tranquillity like a hero. To
+say that he bore it as one would be basely to surrender his character;
+for what hero ever bore a state of tranquillity with courage? It
+affected his cutting out! It produced what Burton calls “a windie
+melancholie,” which was nothing else than an accumulation of courage
+that had no means of escaping, if courage can, without indignity, be
+ever said to escape. He sat uneasy on his lap-board. Instead of cutting
+out soberly, he flourished his scissors as if he were heading a faction;
+he wasted much chalk by scoring his cloth in wrong places, and even
+caught his hot goose without a holder. These symptoms alarmed his
+friends, who persuaded him to go to a doctor. Neal went to satisfy them;
+but he knew that no prescription could drive the courage out of him,
+that he was too far gone in heroism to be made a coward of by apothecary
+stuff. Nothing in the pharmacopoeia could physic him into a pacific
+state. His disease was simply the want of an enemy, and an unaccountable
+superabundance of friendship on the part of his acquaintances. How could
+a doctor remedy this by a prescription? Impossible. The doctor, indeed,
+recommended blood-letting; but to lose blood in a peaceable manner was
+not only cowardly, but a bad cure for courage. Neal declined it: he
+would lose no blood for any man until he could not help it; which was
+giving the character of a hero at a single touch. <i>His</i> blood was not to
+be thrown away in this manner; the only lancet ever applied to his
+relations was the cudgel, and Neal scorned to abandon the principles of
+his family.</p>
+
+<p>His friends, finding that he reserved his blood for more heroic purposes
+than dastardly phlebotomy, knew not what to do with him. His perpetual
+exclamation was, as we have already stated, “I’m blue-mowlded for want
+of a batin’!” They did everything in their power to cheer him with the
+hope of a drubbing; told him he lived in an excellent country for a man
+afflicted with his malady; and promised, if it were at all possible, to
+create him a private enemy or two, who, they hoped in heaven, might
+trounce him to some purpose.</p>
+
+<p>This sustained him for a while; but as day after day passed and no
+appearance of action presented itself, he could not choose but increase
+in courage. His soul, like a sword-blade too long in the scabbard, was
+beginning to get fuliginous by inactivity. He looked upon the point of
+his own needle and the bright edge of his scissors with a bitter pang
+when he thought of the spirit rusting within him; he meditated fresh
+insults, studied new plans, and hunted out cunning devices for provoking
+his acquaintances to battle, until by degrees he began to confound his
+own brain and to commit more grievous oversights in his business than
+ever. Sometimes he sent home to one person a coat with the legs of a
+pair of trousers attached to it for sleeves, and despatched to another
+the arms of the aforesaid coat tacked together as a pair of trousers.
+Sometimes the coat was made to button behind instead of before; and he
+frequently placed the pockets in the lower part of the skirts, as if he
+had been in league with cutpurses.</p>
+
+<p>This was a melancholy situation, and his friends pitied him accordingly.</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t be cast down, Neal,” said they; “your friends feel for you, poor
+fellow.”</p>
+
+<p>“Divil carry my frinds,” replied Neal; “sure, there’s not one o’ yez
+frindly enough to be my inimy. Tare an’ ouns! what’ll I do? I’m
+blue-mowlded for want of a batin’!”</p>
+
+<p>Seeing that their consolation was thrown away upon him, they resolved to
+leave him to his fate; which they had no sooner done then Neal had
+thoughts of taking to the Skiomachia as a last remedy. In this mood he
+looked with considerable antipathy at his own shadow for several nights;
+and it is not to be questioned but that some hard battles would have
+taken place between them had it not been for the cunning of the shadow,
+which declined to fight him in any other position than with its back to
+the wall. This occasioned him to pause, for the wall was a fearful
+antagonist, inasmuch as it knew not when it was beaten; but there was
+still an alternative left. He went to the garden one clear day about
+noon, and hoped to have a bout with the shade free from interruption.
+Both approached, apparently eager for the combat and resolved to conquer
+or die, when a villainous cloud, happening to intercept the light, gave
+the shadow an opportunity of disappearing, and Neal found himself once
+more without an opponent.</p>
+
+<p>“It’s aisy known,” said Neal, “you haven’t the <i>blood</i> in you, or you’d
+come to the scratch like a man.”</p>
+
+<p>He now saw that fate was against him, and that any further hostility
+toward the shadow was only a tempting of Providence. He lost his health,
+spirits, and everything but his courage. His countenance became pale and
+peaceful-looking; the bluster departed from him; his body shrank up like
+a withered parsnip. Thrice was he compelled to take in his clothes, and
+thrice did he ascertain that much of his time would be necessarily spent
+in pursuing his retreating person through the solitude of his almost
+deserted garments.</p>
+
+<p>God knows it is difficult to form a correct opinion upon a situation so
+parodoxical as Neal’s was. To be reduced to skin and bone by the
+downright friendship of the world was, as the sagacious reader will
+admit, next to a miracle. We appeal to the conscience of any man who
+finds himself without an enemy whether he be not a greater skeleton than
+the tailor; we will give him fifty guineas provided he can show a calf
+to his leg. We know he could not; for the tailor had none, and that was
+because he had not an enemy. No man in friendship with the world ever
+has calves to his legs. To sum up all in a parodox of our own invention,
+for which we claim the full credit of originality, we now assert that
+more men have risen in the world by the injury of their enemies than
+have risen by the kindness of their friends. You may take this, reader,
+in any sense; apply it to hanging if you like; it is still immutably and
+immovably true.</p>
+
+<p>One day Neal sat cross-legged, as tailors usually sit, in the act of
+pressing a pair of breeches; his hands were placed, backs up, upon the
+handle of his goose, and his chin rested upon the backs of his hands. To
+judge from his sorrowful complexion, one would suppose that he sat
+rather to be sketched as a picture of misery or of heroism in distress
+than for the industrious purpose of pressing the seams of a garment.
+There was a great deal of New Burlington Street pathos in his
+countenance; his face, like the times, was rather out of joint; “the sun
+was just setting, and his golden beams fell, with a saddened splendor,
+athwart the tailor’s&mdash;” The reader may fill up the picture.</p>
+
+<p>In this position sat Neal when Mr. O’Connor, the schoolmaster, whose
+inexpressibles he was turning for the third time, entered the workshop.
+Mr. O’Connor himself was as finished a picture of misery as the tailor.
+There was a patient, subdued kind of expression in his face which
+indicated a very fair portion of calamity; his eye seemed charged with
+affliction of the first water; on each side of his nose might be traced
+two dry channels, which, no doubt, were full enough while the tropical
+rains of his countenance lasted. Altogether, to conclude from
+appearances, it was a dead match in affliction between him and the
+tailor; both seemed sad, fleshless, and unthriving.</p>
+
+<p>“Misther O’Connor,” said the tailor, when the schoolmaster entered,
+“won’t you be pleased to sit down?”</p>
+
+<p>Mr. O’Connor sat; and, after wiping his forehead, laid his hat upon the
+lap-board, put his half-handkerchief in his pocket, and looked upon the
+tailor. The tailor, in return, looked upon Mr. O’Connor; but neither of
+them spoke for some minutes. Neal, in fact, appeared to be wrapped up in
+his own misery, and Mr. O’Connor in his; or, as we often have much
+gratuitous sympathy for the distresses of our friends, we question but
+the tailor was wrapped up in Mr. O’Connor’s misery, and Mr. O’Connor in
+the tailor’s.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. O’Connor at length said: “Neal, are my inexpressibles finished?”</p>
+
+<p>“I am now pressin’ your inexpressibles,” replied Neal; “but, be my sowl,
+Mr. O’Connor, it’s not your inexpressibles I’m thinkin’ of. I’m not the
+ninth part o’ what I was. I’d hardly make paddin’ for a collar now.”</p>
+
+<p>“Are you able to carry a staff still, Neal?”</p>
+
+<p>“I’ve a light hazel one that’s handy,” said the tailor, “but where’s the
+use o’ carryin’ it whin I can get no one to fight wid? Sure, I’m
+disgracin’ my relations by the life I’m ladin’. I’ll go to my grave
+widout ever batin’ a man or bein’ bate myself; that’s the vexation.
+Divil the row ever I was able to kick up in my life; so that I’m fairly
+blue-mowlded for want of a batin’. But if you have patience&mdash;”</p>
+
+<p>“Patience!” said Mr. O’Connor, with a shake of the head that was
+perfectly disastrous even to look at,&mdash;“patience, did you say, Neal?”</p>
+
+<p>“Ay,” said Neal, “an’ be my sowl, if you deny that I said patience I’ll
+break your head!”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah, Neal,” returned the other, “I don’t deny it; for, though I’m
+teaching philosophy, knowledge, and mathematics every day in my life,
+yet I’m learning patience myself both night and day. No, Neal; I have
+forgotten to deny anything. I have not been guilty of a contradiction,
+out of my own school, for the last fourteen years. I once expressed the
+shadow of a doubt about twelve years ago, but ever since I have
+abandoned even doubting. That doubt was the last expiring effort at
+maintaining my domestic authority&mdash;but I suffered for it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well,” said Neal, “if you have patience, I’ll tell you what afflicts me
+from beginnin’ to endin’.”</p>
+
+<p>“I <i>will</i> have patience,” said Mr. O’Connor; and he accordingly heard a
+dismal and indignant tale from the tailor.</p>
+
+<p>“You have told me that fifty times over,” said Mr. O’Connor, after
+hearing the story. “Your spirit is too martial for a pacific life. If
+you follow my advice, I will teach you how to ripple the calm current of
+your existence to some purpose. <i>Marry a wife</i>. For twenty-five years I
+have given instruction in three branches, namely, philosophy, knowledge,
+and mathematics. I am also well versed in matrimony, and I declare that,
+upon my misery and by the contents of all my afflictions, it is my
+solemn and melancholy opinion that, if you marry a wife, you will,
+before three months pass over your concatenated state, not have a single
+complaint to make touching a superabundance of peace or tranquillity or
+a love of fighting.”</p>
+
+<p>“Do you mane to say that any woman would make me afeard?” said the
+tailor, deliberately rising up and getting his cudgel. “I’ll thank you
+merely to go over the words agin, till I thrasy you widin an inch of
+your life. That’s all”</p>
+
+<p>“Neal,” said the schoolmaster, meekly, “I won’t fight; I have been too
+often subdued ever to presume on the hope of a single victory. My spirit
+is long since evaporated; I am like one of your own shreds, a mere
+selvage. Do you not know how much my habiliments have shrunk in even
+within the last five years? Hear me, Neal, and venerate my words as if
+they proceeded from the lips of a prophet. If you wish to taste the
+luxury of being subdued&mdash;if you are, as you say, blue-moulded for want
+of a beating, and sick at heart of a peaceful existence&mdash;why, marry a
+wife. Neal, send my breeches home with all haste, for they are wanted,
+you understand. Farewell.”</p>
+
+<p>Mr. O’Connor, having thus expressed himself, departed; and Neal stood,
+with the cudgel in his hand, looking at the door out of which he passed,
+with an expression of fierceness, contempt, and reflection strongly
+blended on the ruins of his once heroic visage.</p>
+
+<p>Many a man has happiness within his reach if he but knew it. The tailor
+had been hitherto miserable because he pursued a wrong object. The
+schoolmaster, however, suggested a train of thought upon which Neal now
+fastened with all the ardour of a chivalrous temperament. Nay, be
+wondered that the family spirit should have so completely seized upon
+the fighting side of his heart as to preclude all thoughts of matrimony;
+for he could not but remember that his relations were as ready for
+marriage as for fighting. To doubt this would have been to throw a blot
+upon his own escutcheon. He therefore very prudently asked himself to
+whom, if he did not marry, should he transmit his courage. He was a
+single man, and, dying as such, he would be the sole depository of his
+own valor, which, like Junius’s secret, must perish with him. If he
+could have left it as a legacy to such of his friends as were most
+remarkable for cowardice, why, the case would be altered: but this was
+impossible, and he had now no other means of preserving it to posterity
+than by creating a posterity to inherit it. He saw, too, that the world
+was likely to become convulsed. Wars, as everybody knew, were certain to
+break out; and would it not be an excellent opportunity for being father
+to a colonel, or perhaps a general, that might astonish the world?</p>
+
+<p>The change visible in Neal after the schoolmaster’s last visit
+absolutely thunderstruck all who knew him. The clothes which he had
+rashly taken in to fit his shrivelled limbs were once more let out. The
+tailor expanded with a new spirit; his joints ceased to be supple, as in
+the days of his valor; his eye became less fiery but more brilliant.
+From being martial, he got desperately gallant; but, somehow, he could
+not afford to act the hero and lover both at the same time. This,
+perhaps, would be too much to expect from a tailor. His policy was
+better. He resolved to bring all his available energy to bear upon the
+charms of whatever fair nymph he should select for the honour of
+matrimony; to waste his spirit in fighting would, therefore, be a
+deduction from the single purpose in view.</p>
+
+<p>The transition from war to love is by no means so remarkable as we might
+at first imagine. We quote Jack Falstaff in proof of this; or, if the
+reader be disposed to reject our authority, then we quote Ancient Pistol
+himself&mdash;both of whom we consider as the most finished specimens of
+heroism that ever carried a safe skin. Acres would have been a hero had
+he worn gloves to prevent the courage from oozing out at his palms, or
+not felt such an unlucky antipathy to the “snug lying in the Abbey”; and
+as for Captain Bobadil, he never had an opportunity of putting his plan
+for vanquishing an army into practice. We fear, indeed, that neither his
+character nor Ben Jonson’s knowledge of human nature is properly
+understood; for it certainly could not be expected that a man whose
+spirit glowed to encounter a whole host could, without tarnishing his
+dignity, if closely pressed, condescend to fight an individual. But as
+these remarks on courage may be felt by the reader as an invidious
+introduction of a subject disagreeable to him, we beg to hush it for the
+present and return to the tailor.</p>
+
+<p>No sooner had Neal begun to feel an inclination to matrimony than his
+friends knew that his principles had veered by the change now visible in
+his person and deportment. They saw he had ratted from courage and
+joined love. Heretofore his life had been all winter, darkened by storm
+and hurricane. The fiercer virtues had played the devil with him; every
+word was thunder, every look lightning; but now all that had passed
+away. Before he was the <i>fortiter in re</i>; at present he was the
+<i>suaviter in modo</i>. His existence was perfect spring, beautifully
+vernal. All the amiable and softer qualities began to bud about his
+heart; a genial warmth was diffused over him; his soul got green within
+him; every day was serene, and if a cloud happened to become visible,
+there was a roguish rainbow astride of it, on which sat a beautiful Iris
+that laughed down at him and seemed to say, “Why the dickens, Neal,
+don’t you marry a wife?”</p>
+
+<p>Neal could not resist the afflatus which decended on him; an ethereal
+light dwelled, he thought, upon the face of nature; the colour of the
+cloth which he cut out from day to day was, to his enraptured eye, like
+the colour of Cupid’s wings&mdash;all purple; his visions were worth their
+weight in gold; his dreams a credit to the bed he slept on; and his
+feelings, like blind puppies, young and alive to the milk of love and
+kindness which they drew from his heart. Most of this delight escaped
+the observation of the world, for Neal, like your true lover, became shy
+and mysterious. It is difficult to say what he resembled; no dark
+lantern ever had more light shut up within itself than Neal had in his
+soul, although his friends were not aware of it. They knew, indeed, that
+he had turned his back upon valor; but beyond this their knowledge did
+not extend.</p>
+
+<p>Neal was shrewd enough to know that what he felt must be love; nothing
+else could distend him with happiness until his soul felt light and
+bladderlike but love. As an oyster opens when expecting the tide, so did
+his soul expand at the contemplation of matrimony. Labour ceased to be a
+trouble to him; he sang and sewed from morning till night; his hot goose
+no longer burned him, for his heart was as hot as his goose; the
+vibrations of his head, at each successive stitch, were no longer sad
+and melancholy. There was a buoyant shake of exultation in them which
+showed that his soul was placid and happy within him.</p>
+
+<p>Endless honour be to Neal Malone for the originality with which he
+managed the tender sentiment! He did not, like your commonplace lovers,
+first discover a pretty girl and afterward become enamoured of her. No
+such thing; he had the passion prepared beforehand&mdash;cut out and made up,
+as it were, ready for any girl whom it might fit. This was falling in
+love in the abstract, and let no man condemn it without a trial, for
+many a long-winded argument could be urged in its defence. It is always
+wrong to commence business without capital, and Neal had a good stock to
+begin with. All we beg is that the reader will not confound it with
+Platonism, which never marries; but he is at full liberty to call it
+Socratism, which takes unto itself a wife and suffers accordingly.</p>
+
+<p>Let no one suppose that Neal forgot the schoolmaster’s kindness, or
+failed to be duly grateful for it. Mr. O’Connor was the first person
+whom he consulted touching his passion. With a cheerful soul he waited
+on that melancholy and gentleman-like man, and in the very luxury of his
+heart told him that he was in love.</p>
+
+<p>“In love, Neal!” said the schoolmaster. “May I inquire with whom?”</p>
+
+<p>“Wid nobody in particular yet,” replied Neal; “but o’ late I’m got
+divilish fond o’ the girls in general.”</p>
+
+<p>“And do you call that being in love, Neal?” said Mr. O’Connor.</p>
+
+<p>“Why, what else would I call it?” returned the tailor. “Am n’t I fond o’
+them?”</p>
+
+<p>“Then it must be what is termed the ‘universal passion,’ Neal,” observed
+Mr. O’Connor, “although it is the first time I have seen such an
+illustration of it as you present in your own person.”</p>
+
+<p>“I wish you would advise me how to act,” said Neal; “I’m as happy as a
+prince since I began to get fond o’ them an’ to think o’ marriage.”</p>
+
+<p>The schoolmaster shook his head again, and looked rather miserable. Neal
+rubbed his hands with glee, and looked perfectly happy. The schoolmaster
+shook his head again, and looked more miserable than before. Neal’s
+happiness also increased on the second rubbing.</p>
+
+<p>Now, to tell the secret at once, Mr. O’Connor would not have appeared so
+miserable were it not for Neal’s happiness; nor Neal so happy were it
+not for Mr. O’Connor’s misery. It was all the result of contrast; but
+this you will not understand unless you be deeply read in modern novels.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. O’Connor, however, was a man of sense, who knew, upon this
+principle, that the longer he continued to shake his head the more
+miserable he must become, and the more also would he increase Neal’s
+happiness; but he had no intention of increasing Neal’s happiness at his
+own expense&mdash;for, upon the same hypothesis, it would have been for
+Neal’s interest had he remained shaking his head there and getting
+miserable until the day of judgment. He consequently declined giving the
+third shake, for he thought that plain conversation was, after all, more
+significant and forcible than the most eloquent nod, however ably
+translated.</p>
+
+<p>“Neal,” said he, “could you, by stretching your imagination, contrive to
+rest contented with nursing your passion in solitude, and love the sex
+at a distance?”</p>
+
+<p>“How could I nurse and mind my business?” replied the tailor. “I’ll
+never nurse so long as I’ll have the wife; and as for ’magination, it
+depends upon the grain o’it whether I can stretch it or not. I don’t
+know that I ever made a coat o’it in my life.”</p>
+
+<p>“You don’t understand me, Neal,” said the schoolmaster. “In recommending
+marriage, I was only driving one evil out of you by introducing another.
+Do you think that, if you abandoned all thoughts of a wife, you would
+get heroic again&mdash;that is, would you take once more to the love of
+fighting?”</p>
+
+<p>“There is no doubt but I would,” said the tailor; “if I miss the wife,
+I’ll kick up such a dust as never was seen in the parish, an’ you’re the
+first man that I’ll lick. But now that I’m in love,” he continued,
+“sure, I ought to look out for the wife.”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah, Neal,” said the schoolmaster, “you are tempting destiny; your
+temerity be, with all its melancholy consequences, upon your own head.”</p>
+
+<p>“Come,” said the tailor; “it wasn’t to hear you groaning to the tune o’
+‘Dhrimmindhoo,’ or ‘The old woman rockin’ her cradle,’ that I came; but
+to know if you could help me in makin’ out the wife. That’s the
+discoorse.”</p>
+
+<p>“Look at me, Neal,” said the schoolmaster, solemnly. “I am at this
+moment, and have been any time for the last fifteen years, a living
+<i>caveto</i> against matrimony. I do not think that earth possesses such a
+luxury as a single solitary life. Neal, the monks of old were happy men;
+they were all fat and had double chins; and, Neal, I tell you that all
+fat men are in general happy. Care cannot come at them so readily as at
+a thin man; before it gets through the strong outworks of flesh and
+blood with which they are surrounded, it becomes treacherous to its
+original purpose, joins the cheerful spirits it meets in the system, and
+dances about the heart in all the madness of mirth; just like a sincere
+ecclesiastic who comes to lecture a good fellow against drinking, but
+who forgets his lecture over his cups, and is laid under the table with
+such success that he either never comes to finish his lecture, or comes
+often to be laid under the table. Look at me, Neal, how wasted,
+fleshless, and miserable I am. You know how my garments have shrunk in,
+and what a solid man I was before marriage. Neal, pause, I beseech you;
+otherwise you stand a strong chance of becoming a nonentity like
+myself.”</p>
+
+<p>“I don’t care what I become,” said the tailor; “I can’t think that you’d
+be so unreasonable as to expect that any o’ the Malones should pass out
+o’ the world widout either bein’ bate or marrid. Have reason, Mr.
+O’Connor, an’ if you can help me to the wife I promise to take in your
+coat the next time for nothin’.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well, then,” said Mr. O’Connor, “what would you think of the butcher’s
+daughter, Biddy Neil? You have always had a thirst for blood, and here
+you may have it gratified in an innocent manner, should you ever become
+sanguinary again. ’T is true, Neal, she is twice your size and possesses
+three times your strength; but for that very reason, Neal, marry her if
+you can. Large animals are placid; and Heaven preserve those bachelors
+whom I wish well from a small wife; ’t is such who always wield the
+sceptre of domestic life and rule their husbands with a rod of iron.”</p>
+
+<p>“Say no more, Mr. O’Connor,” replied the tailor; “she’s the very girl
+I’m in love wid, an’ never fear but I’ll overcome her heart if it can be
+done by man. Now, step over the way to my house, an’ we’ll have a sup on
+the head o’ it. Who’s that calling?”</p>
+
+<p>“Ah, Neal, I know the tones&mdash;there’s a shrillness in them not to be
+mistaken. Farewell! I must depart; you have heard the proverb, ‘Those
+who are bound must obey.’ Young Jack, I presume, is squalling, and I
+must either nurse him, rock the cradle, or sing comic tunes for him,
+though Heaven knows with what a disastrous heart I often sing, ‘Begone,
+dull care,’ the ‘Rakes of Newcastle,’ or, ‘Peas upon a Trencher.’ Neal,
+I say again, pause before you take this leap in the dark. Pause, Neal, I
+entreat you. Farewell!”</p>
+
+<p>Neal, however, was gifted with the heart of an Irishman, and scorned
+caution as the characteristic of a coward; he had, as it appeared,
+abandoned all design of fighting, but the courage still adhered to him
+even in making love. He consequently conducted the siege of Biddy Neil’s
+heart with a degree of skill and valor which would not have come amiss
+to Marshal Gerald at the siege of Antwerp. Locke or Dugald Stewart,
+indeed, had they been cognisant of the tailor’s triumph, might have
+illustrated the principle on which he succeeded; as to ourselves, we can
+only conjecture it. Our own opinion is that they were both animated with
+a congenial spirit. Biddy was the very pink of pugnacity, and could
+throw in a body-blow or plant a facer with singular energy and science.
+Her prowess hitherto had, we confess, been displayed only within the
+limited range of domestic life; but should she ever find it necessary to
+exercise it upon a larger scale, there was no doubt whatsoever, in the
+opinion of her mother, brothers, and sisters, every one of whom she had
+successively subdued, that she must undoubtedly distinguish herself.
+There was certainly one difficulty which the tailor had <i>not</i> to
+encounter in the progress of fats courtship: the field was his own, he
+had not a rival to dispute his claim. Neither was there any opposition
+given by her friends; they were, on the contrary, all anxious for the
+match; and when the arrangements were concluded, Neal felt his hand
+squeezed by them in succession, with an expression more resembling
+condolence than joy. Neal, however, had been bred to tailoring, and not
+to metaphysics; he could cut out a coat very well, but we do not say
+that he could trace a principle&mdash;as what tailor, except Jeremy Taylor,
+could?</p>
+
+<p>There was nothing particular in the wedding. Mr. O’Connor was asked by
+Neal to be present at it; but he shook his head, and told him that he
+had not courage to attend it or inclination to witness any man’s sorrows
+but his own. He met the wedding-party by accident, and was heard to
+exclaim with a sigh as they flaunted past him in gay exuberance of
+spirits: “Ah, poor Neal! he is going like one of her father’s cattle to
+the shambles! Woe is me for having suggested matrimony to the taylor! He
+will not long be under the necessity of saying that he is ‘blue-moulded
+for want of a beating.’ The butcheress will fell him like a Kerry ox,
+and I may have his blood to answer for and his discomfiture to feel for
+in addition to my own miseries.”</p>
+
+<p>On the evening of the wedding-day, about the hour of ten o’clock, Neal,
+whose spirits were uncommonly exalted, for his heart luxuriated within
+him, danced with his bridesmaid; after the dance he sat beside her, and
+got eloquent in praise of her beauty; and it is said, too, that he
+whispered to her and chucked her chin with considerable gallantry. The
+<i>tête-à-tête</i> continued for some time without exciting particular
+attention, with one exception; but <i>that</i> exception was worth a whole
+chapter of general rules. Mrs. Malone rose up, then sat down again and
+took off a glass of the native; she got up a second time; all the wife
+rushed upon her heart. She approached them, and, in a fit of the most
+exquisite sensibility, knocked the bridesmaid down, and gave the tailor
+a kick of affecting pathos upon the inexpressibles. The whole scene was
+a touching one on both sides. The tailor was sent on all-fours to the
+floor, but Mrs. Malone took him quietly up, put him under her arm as one
+would a lap-dog, and with stately step marched away to the connubial
+apartment, in which everything remained very quiet for the rest of the
+night.</p>
+
+<p>The next morning Mr. O’Connor presented himself to congratulate the
+tailor on his happiness. Neal, as his friend, shook hands with him, gave
+the schoolmaster’s fingers a slight squeeze, such as a man gives who
+would gently entreat your sympathy. The schoolmaster looked at him, and
+thought he shook his head. Of this, however, he could not be certain;
+for, as he shook his own during the moment of observation, he concluded
+that it might be a mere mistake of the eye, or, perhaps, the result of a
+mind predisposed to be credulous on the subject of shaking heads.</p>
+
+<p>We wish it were in our power to draw a veil, or curtain, or blind of
+some description, over the remnant of the tailor’s narrative that is to
+follow; but as it is the duty of every faithful historian to give the
+secret causes of appearances which the world in general does not
+understand, so we think it but honest to go on, impartially and
+faithfully, without shrinking from the responsibility that is frequently
+annexed to truth.</p>
+
+<p>For the first three days after matrimony Neal felt like a man who had
+been translated to a new and more lively state of existence. He had
+expected, and flattered himself, that the moment this event should take
+place he would once more resume his heroism, and experience the pleasure
+of a drubbing. This determination he kept a profound secret; nor was it
+known until a future period, when he disclosed it to Mr. O’Connor. He
+intended, therefore, that marriage should be nothing more than a mere
+parenthesis in his life&mdash;a kind of asterisk, pointing, in a note at the
+bottom, to this single exception in his general conduct&mdash;a nota bene to
+the spirit of a martial man, intimating that he had been peaceful only
+for a while. In truth, he was, during the influence of love over him and
+up to the very day of his marriage, secretly as blue-moulded as ever for
+want of a beating. The heroic penchant lay snugly latent in his heart,
+unchecked and unmodified. He flattered himself that he was achieving a
+capital imposition upon the world at large, that he was actually hoaxing
+mankind in general, and that such an excellent piece of knavish
+tranquillity had never been perpetrated before his time.</p>
+
+<p>On the first week after his marriage there chanced to be a fair in the
+next market-town. Neal, after breakfast, brought forward a bunch of
+shillalahs, in order to select the best; the wife inquired the purpose
+of the selection, and Neal declared that he was resolved to have a fight
+that day if it were to be had, he said, for “love or money.” “The truth
+is,” he exclaimed, strutting with fortitude about the house, “the truth
+is, that I’ve <i>done</i> the whole of yez&mdash;I’m as blue-mowlded as ever for
+want of a batin’.”</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t go,” said the wife.</p>
+
+<p>“I <i>will</i> go,” said Neal, with vehemence; “I’ll go if the whole parish
+was to go to prevint me.”</p>
+
+<p>In about another half-hour Neal sat down quietly to his business instead
+of going to the fair!</p>
+
+<p>Much ingenious speculation might be indulged in upon this abrupt
+termination to the tailor’s most formidable resolution; but, for our own
+part, we will prefer going on with the narrative, leaving the reader at
+liberty to solve the mystery as he pleases. In the meantime we say this
+much; let those who cannot make it out carry it to their tailor; it is a
+tailor’s mystery, and no one has so good a right to understand
+it&mdash;except, perhaps, a tailor’s wife.</p>
+
+<p>At the period of his matrimony Neal had become as plump and as stout as
+he ever was known to be in his plumpest and stoutest days. He and the
+schoolmaster had been very intimate about this time; but we know not how
+it happened that soon afterward he felt a modest, bride-like reluctance
+in meeting with that afflicted gentleman. As the eve of his union
+approached, he was in the habit, during the schoolmaster’s visits to his
+workshop, of alluding, in rather a sarcastic tone, considering the
+unthriving appearance of his friend, to the increasing lustiness of his
+person. Nay, he has often leaped up from his lap-board, and, in the
+strong spirit of exultation, thrust out his leg in attestation of his
+assertion, slapping it, moreover, with a loud laugh of triumph that
+sounded like a knell to the happiness of his emaciated acquaintance. The
+schoolmaster’s philosophy, however, unlike his flesh, never departed
+from him; his usual observation was, “Neal, we are both receding from
+the same point; you increase in flesh, whilst I, Heaven help me, am fast
+diminishing.”</p>
+
+<p>The tailor received these remarks with very boisterous mirth, whilst Mr.
+O’Connor simply shook his head and looked sadly upon his limbs, now
+shrouded in a superfluity of garments, somewhat resembling a slender
+thread of water in a shallow summer stream nearly wasted away and
+surrounded by an unproportionate extent of channel.</p>
+
+<p>The fourth month after the marriage arrived, Neal, one day near its
+close, began to dress himself in his best apparel. Even then, when
+buttoning his waistcoat, he shook his head after the manner of Mr.
+O’Connor, and made observations upon the great extent to which it
+over-folded him.</p>
+
+<p>“Well,” thought he with a sigh, “this waistcoat certainly <i>did</i> fit me
+to a T; but it’s wonderful to think how&mdash;cloth stretches!”</p>
+
+<p>“Neal,” said the wife, on perceiving him dressed, “where are you bound
+for?”</p>
+
+<p>“Faith, <i>for life</i>” replied Neal, with a mitigated swagger; “and I’d as
+soon, if it had been the will of Provid&mdash;”</p>
+
+<p>He paused.</p>
+
+<p>“Where are you going?” asked the wife a second time.</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” he answered, “only to dance at Jemmy Connolly’s; I’ll be back
+early.”</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t go,” said the wife.</p>
+
+<p>“I’ll go,” said Neal, “if the whole counthry was to prevint me. Thunder
+an’ lightnin’, woman, who am I?” he exclaimed, in a loud, but rather
+infirm voice. “Am n’t I Neal Malone, that never met a <i>man</i> who’d fight
+him? Neal Malone, that was never beat by <i>man</i>! Why, tare an’ ouns,
+woman! Whoo! I’ll get enraged some time, an’ play the divil! Who’s
+afeard, I say?”</p>
+
+<p>“<i>Don’t go</i>,” added the wife a third time, giving Neal a significant
+look in the face.</p>
+
+<p>In about another half-hour Neal sat down quietly to his business instead
+of going to the dance!</p>
+
+<p>Neal now turned himself, like many a sage in similar circumstances, to
+philosophy; that is to say, he began to shake his head upon principle,
+after the manner of the schoolmaster. He would, indeed, have preferred
+the bottle upon principle; but there was no getting at the bottle except
+through the wife, and it so happened that by the time it reached him
+there was little consolation left in it. Neal bore all in silence; for
+silence, his friend had often told him, was a proof of wisdom.</p>
+
+<p>Soon after this, Neal one evening met Mr. O’Connor by chance upon a
+plank which crossed a river. This plank was only a foot in breadth, so
+that no two individuals could pass each other upon it. We cannot find
+words in which to express the dismay of both on finding that they
+absolutely glided past each other without collision.</p>
+
+<p>Both paused and surveyed each other solemnly; but the astonishment was
+all on the side of Mr. O’Connor.</p>
+
+<p>“Neal,” said the schoolmaster, “by all the household gods, I conjure you
+to speak, that I may be assured you live!”</p>
+
+<p>The ghost of a blush crossed the churchyard visage of the tailor.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” he exclaimed, “why the divil did you tempt me to marry a wife?”</p>
+
+<p>“Neal,” said his friend, “answer me in the most solemn manner possible;
+throw into your countenance all the gravity you can assume; speak as if
+you were under the hands of the hangman, with the rope about your neck,
+for the question is indeed a trying one which I am about to put. Are you
+still ‘blue-moulded for want of a beating’?”</p>
+
+<p>The tailor collected himself to make a reply; he put one leg out&mdash;the
+very leg which he used to show in triumph to his friend, but, alas, how
+dwindled! He opened his waistcoat and lapped it round him until he
+looked like a weasel on its hind legs. He then raised himself up on his
+tiptoes, and, in an awful whisper, replied, “No!!! the divil a bit I’m
+blue-mowlded for want of a batin’!”</p>
+
+<p>The schoolmaster shook his head in his own miserable manner; but, alas!
+he soon perceived that the tailor was as great an adept at shaking the
+head as himself. Nay, he saw that there was a calamitous refinement, a
+delicacy of shake in the tailor’s vibrations, which gave to his own nod
+a very commonplace character.</p>
+
+<p>The next day the tailor took in his clothes; and from time to time
+continued to adjust them to the dimensions of his shrinking person. The
+schoolmaster and he, whenever they could steal a moment, met and
+sympathised together. Mr. O’Connor, however, bore up somewhat better
+than Neal. The latter was subdued in heart and in spirit, thoroughly,
+completely, and intensely vanquished. His features became sharpened by
+misery, for a termagant wife is the whetstone on which all the
+calamities of a henpecked husband are painted by the devil. He no longer
+strutted as he was wont to do, he no longer carried a cudgel as if he
+wished to wage a universal battle with mankind. He was now a married
+man. Sneakingly, and with a cowardly crawl, did he creep along, as if
+every step brought him nearer to the gallows. The schoolmaster’s march
+of misery was far slower than Neal’s, the latter distanced him. Before
+three years passed he had shrunk up so much that he could not walk
+abroad of a windy day without carrying weights in his pockets to keep
+him firm on the earth which he once trod with the step of a giant. He
+again sought the schoolmaster, with whom, indeed, he associated as much
+as possible. Here he felt certain of receiving sympathy; nor was he
+disappointed. That worthy but miserable man and Neal often retired
+beyond the hearing of their respective wives, and supported each other
+by every argument in their power. Often have they been heard in the dusk
+of evening singing behind a remote hedge that melancholy ditty, “Let us
+<i>both</i> be unhappy together,” which rose upon the twilight breeze with a
+cautious quaver of sorrow truly heartrending and lugubrious.</p>
+
+<p>“Neal,” said Mr. O’Connor on one of those occasions, “here is a book
+which I recommend to your perusal; it is called ‘The Afflicted Man’s
+Companion’; try if you cannot glean some consolation out of it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Faith,” said Neal, “I’m forever oblaged to you, but I don’t want it.
+I’ve had ‘The Afflicted Man’s Companion’ too long, and not an atom o’
+consolation I can get out of it. I have <i>one</i> o’ them, I tell you; but,
+be my sowl, I’ll not undertake <i>a pair</i> o’ them. The very name’s enough
+for me.” They then separated.</p>
+
+<p>The tailor’s vis vitae must have been powerful or he would have died. In
+two years more his friends could not distinguish him from his own
+shadow, a circumstance which was of great inconvenience to him. Several
+grasped at the hand of the shadow instead of his; and one man was near
+paying it five and sixpence for making a pair of small-clothes. Neal, it
+is true, undeceived him with some trouble, but candidly admitted that he
+was not able to carry home the money. It was difficult, indeed, for the
+poor tailor to bear what he felt; it is true he bore it as long as he
+could; but at length he became suicidal, and often had thoughts of
+“making his own quietus with his bare bodkin.” After many deliberations
+and afflictions, he ultimately made the attempt; but, alas! he found
+that the blood of the Malones refused to flow upon so ignominious an
+occasion. So <i>he</i> solved the phenomenon; although the truth was that his
+blood was not “i’ the vein” for it; none was to be had. What then was to
+be done? He resolved to get rid of life by some process, and the next
+that occurred to him was hanging. In a solemn spirit he prepared a
+selvage, and suspended himself from the rafter of his workshop. But here
+another disappointment awaited him, he would not hang. Such was his want
+of gravity that his own weight proved insufficient to occasion his death
+by mere suspension. His third attempt was at drowning; but he was too
+light to sink; all the elements, all his own energies, joined
+themselves, he thought, in a wicked conspiracy to save his life. Having
+thus tried every avenue to destruction, and failed in all, he felt like
+a man doomed to live forever. Henceforward he shrank and shrivelled by
+slow degrees, until in the course of time he became so attenuated that
+the grossness of human vision could no longer reach him.</p>
+
+<p>This, however, could not last always. Though still alive, he was to all
+intents and purposes imperceptible. He could only now be heard; he was
+reduced to a mere essence; the very echo of human existence, vox
+etpraeterea nihil. It is true the schoolmaster asserted that he
+occasionally caught passing glimpses of him; but that was because he had
+been himself nearly spiritualised by affliction, and his visual ray
+purged in the furnace of domestic tribulation. By-and-by Neal’s voice
+lessened, got fainter and more indistinct, until at length nothing but a
+doubtful murmur could be heard, which ultimately could scarcely be
+distinguished from a ringing in the ears.</p>
+
+<p>Such was the awful and mysterious fate of the tailor, who, as a hero,
+could not, of course, die; he merely dissolved like an icicle, wasted
+into immateriality, and finally melted away beyond the perception of
+mortal sense. Mr. O’Connor is still living, and once more in the fulness
+of perfect health and strength. His wife, however, we may as well hint,
+has been dead more than two years.</p>
+
+<h2><a name="THE_BANSHEE" id="THE_BANSHEE"></a>THE BANSHEE<br /><br />
+(ANONYMOUS)</h2>
+
+<p class="nind"><span class="letra">O</span>F all the superstitions prevalent amongst the natives of Ireland at any
+period, past or present, there is none so grand or fanciful, none which
+has been so universally assented to or so cordially cherished, as the
+belief in the existence of the banshee. There are very few, however
+remotely acquainted with Irish life or Irish history, but must have
+heard or read of the Irish banshee; still, as there are different
+stories and different opinions afloat respecting this strange being, I
+think a little explanation concerning her appearance, functions, and
+habits will not be unacceptable to my readers.</p>
+
+<p>The banshee, then, is said to be an immaterial and immortal being,
+attached, time out of mind, to various respectable and ancient families
+in Ireland, and is said always to appear to announce, by cries and
+lamentations, the death of any member of that family to which she
+belongs. She always comes at night, a short time previous to the death
+of the fated one, and takes her stand outside, convenient to the house,
+and there utters the most plaintive cries and lamentations, generally in
+some unknown language, and in a tone of voice resembling a human female.
+She continues her visits night after night, unless vexed or annoyed,
+until the mourned object dies, and sometimes she is said to continue
+about the house for several nights after. Sometimes she is said to
+appear in the shape of a most beautiful young damsel, and dressed in the
+most elegant and fantastic garments; but her general appearance is in
+the likeness of a very old woman, of small stature and bending and
+decrepit form, enveloped in a winding-sheet or grave-dress, and her
+long, white, hoary hair waving over her shoulders and descending to her
+feet. At other times she is dressed in the costume of the middle
+ages&mdash;the different articles of her clothing being of the richest
+material and of a sable hue. She is very shy and easily irritated, and,
+when once annoyed or vexed, she flies away, and never returns during the
+same generation. When the death of the person whom she mourns is
+contingent, or to occur by unforeseen accident, she is particularly
+agitated and troubled in her appearance, and unusually loud and mournful
+in her lamentations. Some would fain have it that this strange being is
+actuated by a feeling quite inimical to the interests of the family
+which she haunts, and that she comes with joy and triumph to announce
+their misfortunes. This opinion, however, is rejected by most people,
+who imagine her their most devoted friend, and that she was, at some
+remote period, a member of the family, and once existed on the earth in
+life and loveliness. It is not every Irish family can claim the honour
+of an attendant banshee; they must be respectably descended, and of
+ancient line, to have any just pretensions to a warning spirit. However,
+she does not appear to be influenced by the difference of creed or
+clime, provided there be no other impediment, as several Protestant
+families of Norman and Anglo-Saxon origin boast of their own banshee;
+and to this hour several noble and distinguished families in the country
+feel proud of the surveillance of that mysterious being. Neither is she
+influenced by the circumstances of rank or fortune, as she is oftener
+found frequenting the cabin of the peasant than the baronial mansion of
+the lord of thousands. Even the humble family to which the writer of
+this tale belongs has long claimed the honourable appendage of a
+banshee; and it may, perhaps, excite an additional interest in my
+readers when I inform them that my present story is associated with her
+last visit to that family.</p>
+
+<p>Some years ago there dwelt in the vicinity of Mountrath, in the Queen’s
+County, a farmer, whose name for obvious reasons we shall not at present
+disclose. He never was married, and his only domestics were a
+servant-boy and an old woman, a housekeeper, who had long been a
+follower or dependent of the family. He was born and educated in the
+Roman Catholic Church, but on arriving at manhood, for reasons best
+known to himself, he abjured the tenets of that creed and conformed to
+the doctrines of Protestantism. However, in after years he seemed to
+waver, and refused going to church, and by his manner of living seemed
+to favour the dogmas of infidelity or atheism. He was rather dark and
+reserved in his manner, and oftentimes sullen and gloomy in his temper;
+and this, joined with his well-known disregard of religion, served to
+render him somewhat unpopular amongst his neighbours and acquaintances.
+However, he was in general respected, and was never insulted or annoyed.
+He was considered as an honest, inoffensive man, and as he was well
+supplied with firearms and ammunition,&mdash;in the use of which he was well
+practised, having, in his early days, served several years in a yeomanry
+corps,&mdash;few liked to disturb him, even had they been so disposed. He was
+well educated, and decidedly hostile to every species of superstition,
+and was constantly jeering his old housekeeper, who was extremely
+superstitious, and pretended to be entirely conversant with every matter
+connected with witchcraft and the fairy world. He seldom darkened a
+neighbour’s door, and scarcely ever asked any one to enter his, but
+generally spent his leisure hours in reading, of which he was extremely
+fond, or in furbishing his firearms, to which he was still more
+attached, or in listening to and laughing at the wild and blood-curdling
+stories of old Moya, with which her memory abounded. Thus he spent his
+time until the period at which our tale commences, when he was about
+fifty years of age, and old Moya, the housekeeper, had become extremely
+feeble, stooped, and of very ugly and forbidding exterior. One morning
+in the month of November, A.D. 1818, this man arose before daylight, and
+on coming out of the apartment where he slept he was surprised at
+finding old Moya in the kitchen, sitting over the raked-up fire, and
+smoking her tobacco-pipe in a very serious and meditative mood.</p>
+
+<p>“Arrah, Moya,” said he, “what brings you out of your bed so early?”</p>
+
+<p>“Och musha, I dunna,” replied the old woman; “I was so uneasy all night
+that I could not sleep a wink, and I got up to smoke a blast, thinkin’
+that it might drive away the weight that’s on my heart.”</p>
+
+<p>“And what ails you, Moya? Are you sick, or what came over you?”</p>
+
+<p>“No, the Lord be praised! I am not sick, but my heart is sore, and
+there’s a load on my spirits that would kill a hundred.”</p>
+
+<p>“Maybe you were dreaming, or something that way,” said the man, in a
+bantering tone, and suspecting, from the old woman’s grave manner, that
+she was labouring under some mental delusion.</p>
+
+<p>“Dreaming!” reechoed Moya, with a bitter sneer; “ay, dreaming. Och, I
+wish to God I was <i>only dreaming</i>; but I am very much afraid it is worse
+than that, and that there is trouble and misfortune hanging over uz.”</p>
+
+<p>“And what makes you think so, Moya?” asked he, with a half-suppressed
+smile.</p>
+
+<p>Moya, aware of his well-known hostility to every species of
+superstition, remained silent, biting her lips and shaking her gray head
+prophetically.</p>
+
+<p>“Why don’t you answer me, Moya?” again asked the man.</p>
+
+<p>“Och,” said Moya, “I am heart-scalded to have it to tell you, and I know
+you will laugh at me; but, say what you will, there is something bad
+over uz, for the banshee was about the house all night, and she has me
+almost frightened out of my wits with her shouting and bawling.”</p>
+
+<p>The man was aware of the banshee’s having been long supposed to haunt
+his family, but often scouted that supposition; yet, as it was some
+years since he had last heard of her visiting the place, he was not
+prepared for the freezing announcement of old Moya. He turned as pale as
+a corpse, and trembled excessively; at last, recollecting himself, he
+said, with a forced smile:</p>
+
+<p>“And how do you know it was the banshee, Moya?”</p>
+
+<p>“How do I know?” reiterated Moya, tauntingly. “Didn’t I see and hear her
+several times during the night? and more than that, didn’t I hear the
+dead-coach rattling round the house, and through the yard, every night
+at midnight this week back, as if it would tear the house out of the
+foundation?”</p>
+
+<p>The man smiled faintly; he was frightened, yet was ashamed to appear so.
+He again said:</p>
+
+<p>“And did you ever see the banshee before, Moya?”</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” replied Moya, “often. Didn’t I see her when your mother died?
+Didn’t I see her when your brother was drowned? and sure, there wasn’t
+one of the family that went these sixty years that I did not both see
+and hear her.”</p>
+
+<p>“And where did you see her, and what way did she look to-night?”</p>
+
+<p>“I saw her at the little window over my bed; a kind of reddish light
+shone round the house; I looked up, and there I saw her old, pale face
+and glassy eyes looking in, and she rocking herself to and fro, and
+clapping her little, withered hands, and crying as if her very heart
+would break.”</p>
+
+<p>“Well, Moya, it’s all imagination; go, now, and prepare my breakfast, as
+I want to go to Maryborough to-day, and I must be home early.”</p>
+
+<p>Moya trembled; she looked at him imploringly and said: “For Heaven’s
+sake, John, don’t go to-day; stay till some other day, and God bless
+you; for if you go to-day I would give my oath there will something
+cross you that’s bad.”</p>
+
+<p>“Nonsense, woman!” said he; “make haste and get me my breakfast.”</p>
+
+<p>Moya, with tears in her eyes, set about getting the breakfast ready; and
+whilst she was so employed John was engaged in making preparations for
+his journey.</p>
+
+<p>Having now completed his other arrangements, he sat down to breakfast,
+and, having concluded it, he arose to depart.</p>
+
+<p>Moya ran to the door, crying loudly; she flung herself on her knees, and
+said: “John, John, be advised. Don’t go to-day; take my advice; I know
+more of the world than you do, and I see plainly that if you go you will
+never enter this door again with your life.”</p>
+
+<p>Ashamed to be influenced by the drivellings of an old cullough, he
+pushed her away with his hand, and, going out to the stable, mounted his
+horse and departed. Moya followed him with her eyes whilst in sight; and
+when she could no longer see him, she sat down at the fire and wept
+bitterly.</p>
+
+<p>It was a bitter cold day, and the farmer, having finished his business
+in town, feeling himself chilly, went into a public-house to have a
+tumbler of punch and feed his horse; there he met an old friend, who
+would not part with him until he would have another glass with him and a
+little conversation, as it was many years since they had met before. One
+glass brought another, and it was almost duskish ere John thought of
+returning, and, having nearly ten miles to travel, it would be dark
+night before he could get home. Still his friend would not permit him to
+go, but called for more liquor, and it was far advanced in the night
+before they parted. John, however, had a good horse, and, having had him
+well fed, he did not spare whip or spur, but dashed along at a rapid
+pace through the gloom and silence of the winter’s night, and had
+already distanced the town upward of five miles, when, on arriving at a
+very desolate part of the road, a gunshot, fired from behind the bushes,
+put an end to his mortal existence. Two strange men, who had been at the
+same public-house in Maryborough drinking, observing that he had money
+and learning the road that he was to travel, conspired to rob and murder
+him, and waylaid him in this lonely spot for that horrid purpose.</p>
+
+<p>Poor Moya did not go to bed that night, but sat at the fire, every
+moment impatiently expecting his return. Often did she listen at the
+door to try if she could hear the tramp of the horse’s footsteps
+approaching. But in vain; no sound met her ear except the sad wail of
+the night wind, moaning fitfully through the tall bushes which
+surrounded the ancient dwelling, or the sullen roar of a little dark
+river, which wound its way through the lowlands at a small distance from
+where she stood. Tired with watching, at length she fell asleep on the
+hearth-stone; but that sleep was disturbed and broken, and frightful and
+appalling dreams incessantly haunted her imagination.</p>
+
+<p>At length the darksome morning appeared struggling through the wintry
+clouds, and Moya again opened the door to look out. But what was her
+dismay when she found the horse standing at the stable door without his
+rider, and the saddle all besmeared with clotted blood. She raised the
+death-cry; the neighbours thronged round, and it was at once declared
+that the hapless man was robbed and murdered. A party on horseback
+immediately set forward to seek him, and on arriving at the fatal spot
+he was found stretched on his back in the ditch, his head perforated
+with shot and slugs, and his body literally immersed in a pool of blood.
+On examining him it was found that his money was gone, and a valuable
+gold watch and appendages abstracted from his pocket. His remains were
+conveyed home, and, after having been waked the customary time, were
+committed to the grave of his ancestors in the little green churchyard
+of the village.</p>
+
+<p>Having no legitimate children, the nearest heir to his property was a
+brother, a cabinet-maker, who resided in London. A letter was
+accordingly despatched to the brother announcing the sad catastrophe,
+and calling on him to come and take possession of the property; and two
+men were appointed to guard the place until he should arrive.</p>
+
+<p>The two men delegated to act as guardians, or, as they are technically
+termed, “keepers,” were old friends and comrades of the deceased, and
+had served with him in the same yeomanry corps. Jack O’Malley was a
+Roman Catholic&mdash;a square, stout-built, and handsome fellow, with a
+pleasant word for every one, and full of that gaiety, vivacity, and
+nonchalance for which the Roman Catholic peasantry of Ireland are so
+particularly distinguished. He was now about forty-five years of age,
+sternly attached to the dogmas of his religion, and always remarkable
+for his revolutionary and anti-British principles. He was brave as a
+lion, and never quailed before a man; but, though caring so little for a
+<i>living</i> man, he was extremely afraid of a <i>dead</i> one, and would go ten
+miles out of his road at night to avoid passing a “rath,” or “haunted
+bush.” Harry Taylor, on the other hand, was a staunch Protestant; a
+tall, genteel-looking man, of proud and imperious aspect, and full of
+reserve and hauteur&mdash;the natural consequence of a consciousness of
+political and religious ascendency and superiority of intelligence and
+education, which so conspicuously marked the demeanour of the Protestant
+peasantry of those days. Harry, too, loved his glass as well as Jack,
+but was of a more peaceful disposition, and as he was well educated and
+intelligent, he was utterly opposed to superstition, and laughed to
+scorn the mere idea of ghosts, goblins, and fairies. Thus Jack and Harry
+were diametrically opposed to each other in every point except their
+love of the cruiskeen, yet they never failed to seize every opportunity
+of being together; and, although they often blackened each other’s eyes
+in their political and religious disputes, yet their quarrels were
+always amicably settled, and they never found themselves happy but in
+each other’s society.</p>
+
+<p>It was now the sixth or seventh night that Jack and Harry, as usual,
+kept their lonely watch in the kitchen of the murdered man. A large turf
+fire blazed brightly on the hearth, and on a bed of straw in the ample
+chimney-corner was stretched old Moya in a profound sleep. On the
+hearthstone, between the two friends, stood a small oak table, on which
+was placed a large decanter of whisky, a jug of boiled water, and a bowl
+of sugar; and, as if to add an idea of security to that of comfort, on
+one end of the table were placed in saltier a formidable-looking
+blunderbuss and a brace of large brass pistols. Jack and his comrade
+perpetually renewed their acquaintance with the whisky-bottle, and
+laughed and chatted and recounted the adventures of their young days
+with as much hilarity as if the house which now witnessed their mirth
+never echoed to the cry of death or blood. In the course of conversation
+Jack mentioned the incident of the strange appearance of the banshee,
+and expressed a hope that she would not come that night to disturb their
+carouse.</p>
+
+<p>“Banshee the devil!” shouted Harry; “how superstitious you papists are!
+I would like to see the phiz of any man, dead or alive, who dare make
+his appearance here to-night.” And, seizing the blunderbuss, and looking
+wickedly at Jack, he vociferated, “By Hercules, I would drive the
+contents of this through their sowls who dare annoy us.”</p>
+
+<p>“Better for you to shoot your mother than fire at the banshee, anyhow,”
+remarked Jack.</p>
+
+<p>“Psha!” said Harry, looking contemptuously at his companion. “I would
+think no more of riddling the old jade’s hide than I would of throwing
+off this tumbler;” and, to suit the action to the word, he drained off
+another bumper of whisky-punch.</p>
+
+<p>“Jack,” says Harry, “now that we are in such prime humour, will you give
+us a song?”</p>
+
+<p>“With all the veins of my heart,” says Jack. “What will it be?”</p>
+
+<p>“Anything you please; your will must be my pleasure,” answered Harry.</p>
+
+<p>Jack, after coughing and clearing his pipes, chanted forth, in a bold
+and musical voice, a rude rigmarole called “The Royal Blackbird,” which,
+although of no intrinsic merit, yet, as it expressed sentiments hostile
+to British connection and British government and favourable to the house
+of Stewart, was very popular amongst the Catholic peasantry of Ireland,
+whilst, on the contrary, it was looked upon by the Protestants as highly
+offensive and disloyal. Harry, however, wished his companion too well to
+oppose the song, and he quietly awaited its conclusion.</p>
+
+<p>“Bravo, Jack,” said Harry, as soon as the song was ended; “that you may
+never lose your wind.”</p>
+
+<p>“In the king’s name now I board you for another song,” says Jack.</p>
+
+<p>Harry, without hesitation, recognised his friend’s right to demand a
+return, and he instantly trolled forth, in a deep, sweet, and sonorous
+voice, the following:</p>
+
+<div class="poetry">
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i6">SONG.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">“Ho, boys, I have a song divine!<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">Come, let us now in concert join,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">And toast the bonny banks of Boyne&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i3">
+The Boyne of ‘Glorious Memory.’<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">“On Boyne’s famed banks our fathers bled;<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">Boyne’s surges with their blood ran red;<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">And from the Boyne our foemen fled&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i3">
+Intolerance, chains, and slavery.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">“Dark superstition’s blood-stained sons<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">Pressed on, but ‘crack’ went William’s guns,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">And soon the gloomy monster runs&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i3">
+Fell, hydra-headed bigotry.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">“Then fill your glasses high and fair,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">Let shouts of triumph rend the air,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">Whilst Georgy fills the regal chair<br /></span>
+<span class="i3">We’ll never bow to Popery.”<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+</div>
+
+<p>Jack, whose countenance had, from the commencement of the song,
+indicated his aversion to the sentiments it expressed, now lost all
+patience at hearing his darling “Popery” impugned, and, seizing one of
+the pistols which lay on the table and whirling it over his comrade’s
+head, swore vehemently that he would “fracture his skull if he did not
+instantly drop that blackguard Orange lampoon.”</p>
+
+<p>“Aisy, avhic,” said Harry, quietly pushing away the upraised arm; “I did
+not oppose your bit of treason awhile ago, and besides, the latter end
+of my song is more calculated to please you than to irritate your
+feelings.”</p>
+
+<p>Jack seemed pacified, and Harry continued his strain.</p>
+
+<div class="poetry">
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">“And fill a bumper to the brim&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">A flowing one&mdash;and drink to him<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">Who, let the world go sink or swim,<br /></span>
+<span class="i3">Would arm for Britain’s liberty.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">“No matter what may be his hue,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">Or black, or white, or green, or blue,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">Or Papist, Paynim, or Hindoo,<br /></span>
+<span class="i3">We’ll drink to him right cordially.”<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+</div>
+
+<p>Jack was so pleased with the friendly turn which the latter part of
+Harry’s song took that he joyfully stretched out his hand, and even
+joined in chorus to the concluding stanza.</p>
+
+<p>The fire had now decayed on the hearth, the whisky-bottle was almost
+emptied, and the two sentinels, getting drowsy, put out the candle and
+laid down their heads to slumber. The song and the laugh and the jest
+were now hushed, and no sound was to be heard but the incessant “click,
+click,” of the clock in the inner room and the deep, heavy breathing of
+old Moya in the chimney-corner.</p>
+
+<p>They had slept they knew not how long when the old hag awakened with a
+wild shriek. She jumped out of bed, and crouched between the men; they
+started up, and asked her what had happened.</p>
+
+<p>“Oh!” she exclaimed; “the banshee, the banshee! Lord have mercy on us!
+she is come again, and I never heard her so wild and outrageous before.”</p>
+
+<p>Jack O’Malley readily believed old Moya’s tale; so did Harry, but he
+thought it might be some one who was committing some depredation on the
+premises. They both listened attentively, but could hear nothing; they
+opened the kitchen door, but all was still; they looked abroad; it was a
+fine, calm night, and myriads of twinkling stars were burning in the
+deep-blue heavens. They proceeded around the yard and hay-yard; but all
+was calm and lonely, and no sound saluted their ears but the shrill
+barking of some neighbouring cur, or the sluggish murmuring of the
+little tortuous river in the distance. Satisfied that “all was right,”
+they again went in, replenished the expiring fire, and sat down to
+finish whatever still remained in the whisky-bottle.</p>
+
+<p>They had not sat many minutes when a wild, unearthly cry was heard
+without.</p>
+
+<p>“The banshee again,” said Moya, faintly. Jack O’Malley’s soul sank
+within him; Harry started up and seized the blunderbuss; Jack caught his
+arm. “No, no, Harry, you shall not; sit down; there’s no fear&mdash;nothing
+will happen us.”</p>
+
+<p>Harry sat down, but still gripped the blunderbuss, and Jack lit his
+tobacco-pipe, whilst the old woman was on her knees, striking her
+breast, and repeating her prayers with great vehemence.</p>
+
+<p>The sad cry was again heard, louder and fiercer than before. It now
+seemed to proceed from the window, and again it appeared as if issuing
+from the door. At times it would seem as if coming from afar, whilst
+again it would appear as if coming down the chimney or springing from
+the ground beneath their feet. Sometimes the cry resembled the low,
+plaintive wail of a female in distress, and in a moment it was raised to
+a prolonged yell, loud and furious, and as if coming from a thousand
+throats; now the sound resembled a low, melancholy chant, and then was
+quickly changed to a loud, broken, demoniac laugh. It continued thus,
+with little intermission, for about a quarter of an hour, when it died
+away, and was succeeded by a heavy, creaking sound, as if of some large
+waggon, amidst which the loud tramp of horses’ footsteps might be
+distinguished, accompanied with a strong, rushing wind. This strange
+noise proceeded round and round the house two or three times, then went
+down the lane which led to the road, and was heard no more. Jack
+O’Malley stood aghast, and Harry Taylor, with all his philosophy and
+scepticism, was astonished and frightened.</p>
+
+<p>“A dreadful night this, Moya,” said Jack.</p>
+
+<p>“Yes,” said she, “that is the dead-coach; I often heard it before, and
+have sometimes seen it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Seen, did you say?” said Harry; “pray describe it.”</p>
+
+<p>“Why,” replied the old crone, “it’s like any other coach, but twice as
+big, and hung over with black cloth, and a black coffin on the top of
+it, and drawn by headless black horses.”</p>
+
+<p>“Heaven protect us!” ejaculated Jack.</p>
+
+<p>“It is very strange,” remarked Harry.</p>
+
+<p>“But,” continued Moya, “it always comes before the death of a person,
+and I wonder what brought it now, unless it came with the banshee.”</p>
+
+<p>“Maybe it’s coming for you,” said Harry, with an arch yet subdued smile.</p>
+
+<p>“No, no,” she said; “I am none of that family at all at all.”</p>
+
+<p>A solemn silence now ensued for a few minutes, and they thought all was
+vanished, when again the dreadful cry struck heavily on their ears.</p>
+
+<p>“Open the door, Jack,” said Harry, “and put out Hector.”</p>
+
+<p>Hector was a large and very ferocious mastiff belonging to Jack
+O’Malley, and always accompanied him wherever he went.</p>
+
+<p>Jack opened the door and attempted to put out the dog, but the poor
+animal refused to go, and, as his master attempted to force him, howled
+in a loud and mournful tone.</p>
+
+<p>“You must go,” said Harry, and he caught him in his arms and flung him
+over the half-door. The poor dog was scarcely on the ground when he was
+whirled aloft into the air by some invisible power, and he fell again to
+earth lifeless, and the pavement was besmeared with his entrails and
+blood.</p>
+
+<p>Harry now lost all patience, and again seizing his blunderbuss, he
+exclaimed: “Come, Jack, my boy, take your pistols and follow me; I have
+but one life to lose, and I will venture it to have a crack at this
+infernal demon.”</p>
+
+<p>“I will follow you to death’s doors,” said Jack; “but I would not fire
+at the banshee for a million of worlds.”</p>
+
+<p>Moya seized Harry by the skirts. “Don’t go out,” she cried; “let her
+alone while she lets you alone, for an hour’s luck never shone on any
+one that ever molested the banshee.”</p>
+
+<p>“Psha, woman!” said Harry, and he pushed away poor Moya contemptuously.</p>
+
+<p>The two men now sallied forth; the wild cry still continued, and it
+seemed to issue from amongst some stacks in the hay-yard behind the
+house. They went round and paused; again they heard the cry, and Harry
+elevated his blunderbuss.</p>
+
+<p>“Don’t fire,” said Jack.</p>
+
+<p>Harry replied not; he looked scornfully at Jack, then put his finger on
+the trigger, and&mdash;bang&mdash;away it exploded with a thundering sound. An
+extraordinary scream was now heard, ten times louder and more terrific
+than they heard before. Their hair stood erect on their heads, and huge,
+round drops of sweat ran down their faces in quick succession. A glare
+of reddish-blue fight shone around the stacks; the rumbling of the
+dead-coach was again heard coming; it drove up to the house, drawn by
+six headless sable horses, and the figure of a withered old hag,
+encircled with blue flame, was seen running nimbly across the hay-yard.
+She entered the ominous carriage, and it drove away with a horrible
+sound. It swept through the tall bushes which surrounded the house; and
+as it disappeared the old hag cast a thrilling scowl at the two men, and
+waved her fleshless arms at them vengefully. It was soon lost to sight;
+but the unearthly creaking of the wheels, the tramping of the horses,
+and the appalling cries of the banshee continued to assail their ears
+for a considerable time after all had vanished.</p>
+
+<p>The brave fellows now returned to the house; they again made fast the
+door, and reloaded their arms. Nothing, however, came to disturb them
+that night, nor from that time forward; and the arrival of the dead
+man’s brother from London, in a few days after, relieved them from their
+irksome task.</p>
+
+<p>Old Moya did not live long after; she declined from that remarkable
+night, and her remains were decently interred in the churchyard
+adjoining the last earthly tenement of the loved family to which she had
+been so long and so faithfully attached.</p>
+
+<p>The insulted banshee has never since returned; and although several
+members of that family have since closed their mortal career, still the
+warning cry was never given; and it is supposed that the injured spirit
+will never visit her ancient haunts until every one of the existing
+generation shall have “slept with their fathers.”</p>
+
+<p>Jack O’Malley and his friend Harry lived some years after. Their
+friendship still continued undiminished; like “Tam O’Shanter” and
+“Souter Johnny,” they still continued to love each other like “a very
+brither”; and like that jovial pair, also, our two comrades were often
+“fou for weeks thegither,” and often over their cruiskeen would they
+laugh at their strange adventure with the banshee. It is now, however,
+all over with them too; their race is run, and they are now “tenants of
+the tomb.”</p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STORIES BY ENGLISH AUTHORS: IRELAND ***</div>
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Stories by English Authors: Ireland, by Various
+
+Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the
+copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing
+this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.
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+Title: Stories by English Authors: Ireland
+
+Author: Various
+
+Release Date: July, 2004 [EBook #6040]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on October 23, 2002]
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+Edition: 10
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+Language: English
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+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, STORIES BY ENGLISH AUTHORS: IRELAND ***
+
+
+
+
+This eBook was produced by Charles Aldarondo, Charles Franks, Nicole
+Apostola and The Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+STORIES BY ENGLISH AUTHORS
+
+IRELAND
+
+
+THE GRIDIRON BY SAMUEL LOVER
+THE EMERGENCY MEN BY GEORGE H. JESSOP
+A LOST RECRUIT BY JANE BARLOW
+THE RIVAL DREAMERS BY JOHN BANIM
+NEAL MALONE BY WILLIAM CARLETON
+THE BANSHEE ANONYMOUS
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE GRIDIRON
+
+BY SAMUEL LOVER
+
+
+
+
+
+A certain old gentleman in the west of Ireland, whose love of the
+ridiculous quite equalled his taste for claret and fox-hunting, was
+wont, upon festive occasions, when opportunity offered, to amuse
+his friends by DRAWING OUT one of his servants, exceedingly fond
+of what he termed, his "thravels," and in whom a good deal of whim,
+some queer stories, and, perhaps more than all, long and faithful
+services had established a right of loquacity. He was one of those
+few trusty and privileged domestics who, if his master unheedingly
+uttered a rash thing in a fit of passion, would venture to set him
+right. If the squire said, "I'll turn that rascal off," my friend
+Pat would say, "Throth you won't, sir;" and Pat was always right,
+for if any altercation arose upon the "subject-matter in hand,"
+he was sure to throw in some good reason, either from former
+services--general good conduct--or the delinquent's "wife and
+children," that always turned the scale.
+
+But I am digressing. On such merry meetings as I have alluded
+to, the master, after making certain "approaches," as a military
+man would say, as the preparatory steps in laying siege to some
+extravaganza of his servant, might, perchance, assail Pat thus:
+"By the by, Sir John" (addressing a distinguished guest), "Pat has
+a very curious story, which something you told me to-day reminds
+me of. You remember, Pat" (turning to the man, evidently pleased
+at the notice thus paid to himself)--"you remember that queer
+adventure you had in France?"
+
+"Throth I do, sir," grins forth Pat.
+
+"What!" exclaims Sir John, in feigned surprise, "was Pat ever in
+France?"
+
+"Indeed he was," cries mine host; and Pat adds, "Ay, and farther,
+plase your honour."
+
+"I assure you, Sir John," continues mine host, "Pat told me a story
+once that surprised me very much, respecting the ignorance of the
+French."
+
+"Indeed!" rejoined the baronet; "really, I always supposed the
+French to be a most accomplished people."
+
+"Throth, then, they're not, sir," interrupts Pat.
+
+"Oh, by no means," adds mine host, shaking his head emphatically.
+
+"I believe, Pat, 'twas when you were crossing the Atlantic?" says
+the master, turning to Pat with a seductive air, and leading into
+the "full and true account" (for Pat had thought fit to visit
+North Amerikay, for "a raison he had," in the autumn of the year
+ninety-eight).
+
+"Yes, sir," says Pat, "the broad Atlantic"--a favourite phrase of
+his, which he gave with a brogue as broad, almost, as the Atlantic
+itself.
+
+"It was the time I was lost in crassin' the broad Atlantic, a-comin'
+home," began Pat, decoyed into the recital; "whin the winds began
+to blow, and the saw to rowl, that you'd think the Colleen Dhas
+(that was her name) would not have a mast left but what would rowl
+out of her.
+
+"Well, sure enough, the masts went by the hoard, at last, and the
+pumps were choked (divil choke them for that same), and av coorse
+the wather gained an us; and, throth, to be filled with wather is
+neither good for man or baste; and she was sinkin' fast, settlin'
+down, as the sailors call it; and, faith, I never was good at settlin'
+down in my life, and I liked it then less nor ever. Accordingly
+we prepared for the worst, and put out the boot, and got a sack o'
+bishkits and a cask o' pork and a kag o' wather and a thrifle o'
+rum aboord, and any other little matthers we could think iv in the
+mortial hurry we wor in--and, faith, there was no time to be lost,
+for, my darlint, the Colleen Dhas went down like a lump o' lead
+afore we wor many sthrokes o' the oar away from her.
+
+"Well, we dhrifted away all that night, and next mornin' we put
+up a blanket an the end av a pole as well as we could, and then we
+sailed illegant; for we darn't show a stitch o' canvas the night
+before, bekase it was blowin' like bloody murther, savin' your
+presence, and sure it's the wondher of the worid we worn't swally'd
+alive by the ragin' sae.
+
+"Well, away we wint, for more nor a week, and nothin' before our two
+good-lookin' eyes but the canophy iv heaven and the wide ocean--the
+broad Atlantic; not a thing was to be seen but the sae and the sky;
+and though the sae and the sky is mighty purty things in themselves,
+throth, they're no great things when you've nothin' else to look
+at for a week together; and the barest rock in the world, so it
+was land, would be more welkim. And then, soon enough, throth, our
+provisions began to run low, the bishkits and the wather and the
+rum--throth, THAT was gone first of all--God help uz!--and oh! it
+was thin that starvation began to stare us in the face. 'O murther,
+murther, Captain darlint,' says I, 'I wish we could land anywhere,'
+says I.
+
+"'More power to your elbow, Paddy, my boy,' says he, 'for sitch a
+good wish, and, throth, it's myself wishes the same.'
+
+"'Och,' says I, 'that it may plase you, sweet queen iv heaven,
+supposing it was only a DISSOLUTE island,' says I, 'inhabited wid
+Turks, sure they wouldn't be such bad Chrishthans as to refuse us
+a bit and a sup.'
+
+"'Whisht, whisht, Paddy,' says the captain, 'don't be talking bad
+of any one,' says he; 'you don't know how soon you may want a good
+word put in for yourself, if you should be called to quarthers in
+th' other world all of a suddint," says he.
+
+"'Thrue for you, Captain darlint,' says I--I called him darlint,
+and made free with him, you see, bekase disthress makes us
+all equal--'thrue for you, Captain jewel--God betune uz and harm,
+I own no man any spite'--and, throth, that was only thruth. Well,
+the last bishkit was sarved out, and, by gor, the WATHER ITSELF
+was all gone at last, and we passed the night mighty cowld. Well,
+at the brake o' day the sun riz most beautifully out o' the waves,
+that was as bright as silver and as clear as chrystal. But it was
+only the more cruel upon us, for we wor beginnin' to feel TERRIBLE
+hungry; when all at wanst I thought I spied the land. By gor, I
+thought I felt my heart up in my throat in a minit, and 'Thunder
+an' turf, Captain,' says I, 'look to leeward,' says I.
+
+"'What for?' says he.
+
+"'I think I see the land,' says I.
+
+"So hes ups with his bring-'em-near (that's what the sailors call
+a spy-glass, sir), and looks out, and, sure enough, it was.
+
+"'Hurrah!' says he, 'we're all right now; pull away, my boys,' says
+he.
+
+"'Take care you're not mistaken,' says I; 'maybe it's only a
+fog-bank, Captain darlint,' says I.
+
+"'Oh no,' says he; 'it's the land in airnest.'
+
+"'Oh, then, whereaboats in the wide world are we, Captain?' says
+I; 'maybe it id be in ROOSIA, or PROOSIA, the Garmant Oceant,' says
+I.
+
+"'Tut, you fool,' says he, for he had that consaited way wid him,
+thinkin' himself cleverer nor any one else--'tut, you fool,' says
+he, 'that's FRANCE,' says he.
+
+"'Tare an ouns,' says I, 'do you tell me so? and how do you know
+it's France it is, Captain dear?' says I.
+
+"'Bekase this is the Bay o' Bishky we're in now,' says he.
+
+"'Throth, I was thinkin' so myself,' says I, 'by the rowl it has;
+for I often heerd av it in regard of that same; and, throth, the
+likes av it I never seen before nor since, and, with the help of
+God, never will.'
+
+"Well, with that, my heart began to grow light; and when I seen my
+life was safe, I began to grow twice hungrier nor ever; so says I,
+'Captain jewel, I wish we had a gridiron.'
+
+"'Why, then,' says he, 'thunder an' turf,' says he, 'what puts a
+gridiron into your head?'
+
+"'Bekase I'm starvin' with the hunger,' says I.
+
+"'And, sure, bad luck to you,' says he, 'you couldn't eat a gridiron,'
+says he, 'barrin' you were a PELICAN O' THE WILDHERNESS,' says he.
+
+"'Ate a gridiron!' says I. 'Och, in throth, I'm not such a gommoch
+all out as that, anyhow. But, sure, if we had a gridiron we could
+dress a beefstake,' says I.
+
+"'Arrah! but where's the beefstake?' says he.
+
+"'Sure, couldn't we cut a slice aff the pork?' says I.
+
+"'By gor, I never thought o' that,' says the captain. 'You're a
+clever fellow, Paddy,' says he, laughin'.
+
+"'Oh, there's many a true word said in joke,' says I.
+
+"'Thrue for you, Paddy,' says he.
+
+"'Well, then,' says I, 'if you put me ashore there beyant (for we
+were nearin' the land all the time), 'and, sure, I can ax them for
+to lind me the loan of a gridiron,' says I.
+
+"'Oh, by gor, the butther's comin' out o' the stirabout in airnest
+now,' says he; 'you gommoch,' says he, 'sure I told you before
+that's France--and, sure, they're all furriners there,' says the
+captain.
+
+"'Well, says I, 'and how do you know but I'm as good a furriner
+myself as any o' thim?'
+
+"'What do you mane?' says he.
+
+"'I mane,' says I, 'what I towld you, that I'm as good a furriner
+myself as any o thim.'
+
+"'Make me sinsible,' says he.
+
+"'By dad, maybe that's more nor me, or greater nor me, could do,'
+says I; and we all began to laugh at him, for I thought I would
+pay him off for his bit o' consait about the Garmant Oceant.
+
+"'Lave off your humbuggin',' says he, 'I bid you, and tell me what
+it is you mane at all at all.'
+
+"'Parly voo frongsay?' says I.
+
+"'Oh, your humble sarvant,' says he; 'why, by gor, you're a scholar,
+Paddy.'
+
+"'Thruth, you may say that,' says I.
+
+"'Why, you're a clever fellow, Paddy,' says the captain, jeerin'
+like.
+
+"'You're not the first that said that,' says I, 'whether you joke
+or no.'
+
+"'Oh, but I'm in airnest,' says the captain; 'and do you tell me,
+Paddy,' says he, 'that you spake Frinch?'
+
+"'Parly voo frongsay?' says I.
+
+"'By gor, that bangs Banagher, and all the world knows Banagher
+bangs the divil. I never met the likes o' you, Paddy,' says he.
+'Pull away, boys, and put Paddy ashore, and maybe we won't get a
+good bellyful before long.'
+
+"So, with that, it wos no sooner said nor done. They pulled away,
+and got close into shore in less than no time, and run the boat
+up in a little creek; and a beautiful creek it was, with a lovely
+white sthrand--an illegant place for ladies to bathe in the summer;
+and out I got; and it's stiff enough in the limbs I was, afther
+bein' cramped up in the boat, and perished with the cowld and
+hunger; but I conthrived to scramble on, one way or t' other, tow'rd
+a little bit iv a wood that was close to the shore, and the smoke
+curlin' out iv it, quite timptin' like.
+
+"'By the powdhers o' war, I'm all right,' says I; 'there's a house
+there.' And, sure enough, there was, and a parcel of men, women,
+and childher, ating their dinner round a table, quite convanient.
+And so I wint up to the door, and I thought I'd be very civil to
+them, as I heerd the Frinch was always mighty p'lite intirely, and
+I thought I'd show them I knew what good manners was.
+
+"So I took aff my hat, and, making a low bow, says I, 'God save
+all here,' says I.
+
+"Well, to be sure, they all stapt ating at wanst, and began to
+stare at me, and, faith, they almost looked me out of countenance;
+and I thought to myself, it was not good manners at all, more betoken
+from furriners which they call so mighty p'lite. But I never minded
+that, in regard o' wantin' the gridiron; and so says I, 'I beg your
+pardon,' says I, 'for the liberty I take, but it's only bein' in
+disthress in regard of ating,' says I, 'that I made bowld to throuble
+yez, and if you could lind me the loan of a gridiron,' says I, 'I'd
+be intirely obleeged to ye.'
+
+"By gor, they all stared at me twice worse nor before, and with
+that, says I (knowing what was in their minds), 'Indeed, it's thrue
+for you,' says I. 'I'm tatthered to pieces, and God knows I look
+quare enough; but it's by raison of the storm,' says I, 'which
+dhruv us ashore here below, and we're all starvin',' says I.
+
+"So then they began to look at each other again; and myself seeing
+at once dirty thoughts was in their heads, and that they tuk me
+for a poor beggar coming to crave charity, with that says I, 'Oh,
+not at all,' says I, 'by no manes--we have plenty of mate ourselves
+there below, and we'll dhress it,' says I, 'if you would be plased
+to lind us the loan of a gridiron,' says I, makin' a low bow.
+
+"Well, sir, with that, throth, they stared at me twice worse
+nor ever, and, faith, I began to think that maybe the captain was
+wrong, and that it was not France at all at all; and so says I, 'I
+beg pardon, sir,' says I to a fine ould man, with a head of hair
+as white as silver; 'maybe I'm under a mistake,' says I, 'but I
+thought I was in France, sir; aren't you furriners?' says I. 'Parly
+voo frongsay?'
+
+"'We, munseer,' says he.
+
+"'Then would you lind me the loan of a gridiron,' says I, 'if you
+plase?'
+
+"Oh, it was thin that they stared at me as if I had seven heads;
+and, faith, myself began to feel flushed like and onaisy; and
+so says I, makin' a bow and scrape ag'in, 'I know it's a liberty
+I take, sir,' says I, 'but it's only in the regard of bein' cast
+away; and if you plase, sir,' says I, 'parly voo frongsay?'
+
+"'We, munseer,' says he, mighty sharp.
+
+"'Then would you lind me the loan of a gridiron?' says I, 'and
+you'll obleege me.'
+
+"Well, sir, the ould chap began to munseer me; but the divil a bit
+of a gridiron he'd gi' me; and so I began to think they wor all
+neygars, for all their fine manners; and, throth, my blood begun
+to rise, and says I, 'By my sowl, if it was you was in disthress,'
+says I, 'and if it was to ould Ireland you kem, it's not only the
+gridiron they'd give you, if you axed it, but something to put an
+it, too, and the drop o' dhrink into the bargain, and cead mile
+failte.'
+
+"Well, the word cead mile failte seemed to sthreck his heart,
+and the ould chap cocked his ear, and so I thought I'd give him
+another offer, and make him sinsible at last; and so says I, wanst
+more, quite slow, that he might understand, 'Parly--voo--frongsay,
+munseer?'
+
+"'We, munseer,' says he.
+
+"'Then lind me the loan of a gridiron,' says I, 'and bad scram to
+you.'
+
+"Well, bad win to the bit of it he'd gi' me, and the ould chap begins
+bowin' and scrapin', and said something or other about a long tongs.
+
+[Footnote: Some mystification of Paddy's touching the French
+n'tends.]
+
+"'Phoo!--the divil swape yourself and your tongs,' says I; 'I don't
+want a tongs at all at all; but can't you listen to raison?' says
+I. 'Parly voo frongsay?'
+
+"'We, munseer.'
+
+"'Then lind me the loan of a gridiron,' says I, 'and howld your
+prate.'
+
+"Well, what would you think, but he shook his old noddle as much as
+to say he wouldn't; and so says I, 'Bad cess to the likes o' that
+I ever seen! Throth, if you wor in my counthry, it's not that away
+they'd use you. The curse o' the crows an you, you ould sinner,'
+says I; 'the divil a longer i'll darken your door.'
+
+"So he seen I was vexed; and I thought, as I was turnin' away, I
+seen him begin to relint, and that his conscience throubled him;
+and says I, turnin' back, 'Well, I'll give you one chance more,
+you ould thief. Are you a Chrishthan at all? Are you a furriner,'
+says I,' that all the world calls so p'lite? Bad luck to you, do
+you understand your own language? Parly voo frongsay?' says I.
+
+"'We, munseer,' says he.
+
+"'Then, thunder an' turf,' says I, 'will you lind me the loan of
+a gridiron?'
+
+"Well, sir, the divil resa've the bit of it he'd gi' me; and
+so, with that, 'The curse o' the hungry an you, you ould neygarly
+villain,' says I; 'the back o' my hand and the sowl o' my foot to
+you, that you may want a gridiron yourself yit,' says I. And with
+that I left them there, sir, and kem away; and, in throth, it's
+often sense that I thought that it was remarkable."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE EMERGENCY MEN
+
+BY GEORGE H. JESSOP
+
+
+
+
+
+The fourth morning after his arrival in Dublin, Mr. Harold Hayes,
+of New York, entered the breakfast-room of the Shelbourne Hotel in
+a very bad humour. He was sick of the city, of the people, and of
+his own company. Before leaving London he had written to his friend,
+Jack Connolly, that he was coming to Ireland, and he had expected
+to find a reply at the Shelbourne. For three days he had waited
+in vain, and it was partly, at least, on Jack's account that Mr.
+Hayes was in Ireland at all. When Jack sailed from New York he had
+bound Harold by a solemn promise to spend a few weeks at Lisnahoe
+on his next visit to Europe. Miss Connelly, who had accompanied her
+brother on his American tour, had echoed and indorsed the invitation.
+
+Harold had naturally expected to find at the hotel a letter urging
+him to take the first train for the south. He had seen a great
+deal of the Connellys during their stay in the United States, and
+Jack and he had become firm friends. He had crossed at this unusual
+season mainly on Jack's account--on Jack's account and his sister's;
+so it was little wonder if the young man considered himself ill
+used. He felt that he had been lured across the Irish Channel--across
+the Atlantic Ocean itself--on false pretences.
+
+But in a moment the cloud lifted from his brow, a quick smile stirred
+under his yellow moustache, and his eyes brightened, for a waiter
+handed him a letter. It lay, address uppermost, on the salver, and
+bore the Ballydoon postmark, and the handwriting was the disjointed
+scrawl which he had often ridiculed, but now welcomed as Jack
+Connolly's.
+
+This is what Hayes read as he sipped his coffee:
+
+LISNAHOE, December 23d.
+
+MY DEAR HAROLD: Home I come from Ballinasloe yesterday, and find
+your letter, the best part of a week old, kicking about among
+the bills and notices of meets that make the biggest end of my
+correspondence. You must be destroyed entirely, my poor fellow, if
+you've been three days in dear dirty Dublin, and you not knowing
+a soul in it. Come down at once, and you'll find a hearty welcome
+here if you won't find much else. I don't see why you couldn't
+have come anyhow, without waiting to write; but you were always
+so confoundedly ceremonious. We're rather at sixes and sevens, for
+the governor's got "in howlts" with his tenants and we're boycotted.
+It's not bad fun when you're used to it, but a trifle inconvenient
+in certain small ways. Let me know what train you take and I'll
+meet you at the station. You must be here for Christmas Day anyhow.
+Polly sends her regards, and says she knew the letter was from you,
+and she came near opening it. I'm sure I wish she had, and answered
+it, for I'm a poor fist at a letter.
+
+Yours truly,
+
+JACK CONNOLLY.
+
+The first available train carried Harold southward. On the way he
+read the letter again. The notion of entering a boycotted household
+amused and pleased him. He had never been in Ireland before, and he
+was quite willing that his first visit should be well spiced with
+the national flavour. Of course he had his views on the Irish
+question. Every American newspaper reader is cheerfully satisfied
+with the conviction that the Celtic race on its native sod has no
+real faults. A constitutional antipathy to rent may exist, but that
+is a national foible which, owing doubtless to some peculiarity of
+the climate, is almost praiseworthy in Ireland, though elsewhere
+regarded as hardly respectable. At any rate, with the consciousness
+that he was about to come face to face with the much-talked-of
+boycott, Harold's spirits rose, and as he read Polly Connolly's
+message they rose still higher. He was a lively young fellow, and
+fond of excitement. And at one time, as he recalled with a smile
+and a sigh, he had been almost fond of Polly Connolly.
+
+When he alighted at the station--a small place in Tipperary--the dusk
+of the early winter evening was closing in, and Harold recollected
+that his prompt departure from Dublin had prevented him from
+apprising Jack of his movements. Of course there would be no trap
+from Lisnahoe to meet this train, but that mattered little. Half
+a dozen hack-drivers were already extolling the merits of their
+various conveyances, and imploring his patronage.
+
+Selecting the best-looking car, he swung himself into his seat,
+while the "jarvey" hoisted his portmanteau on the other side.
+
+"Where to, yer honour?" inquired the latter, climbing to his place.
+
+"To Lisnahoe House," answered Hayes.
+
+"Where?"
+
+This question was asked with a vehemence that startled the young
+American.
+
+"Lisnahoe. Don't you know the way?" he replied.
+
+"In troth an' I do. Is it Connolly's?"
+
+"Yes," answered Harold. "Drive on, my good fellow; it's growing
+late."
+
+The man's only answer was to spring from his seat and seize Harold's
+portmanteau, which he deposited on the road with no gentle hand.
+
+"What do you mean?" cried the young man, indignantly.
+
+"I mane that ye'd betther come down out o' that afore I make ye."
+
+Harold was on the ground in a moment and approached the man with
+clinched fists and flashing eyes.
+
+"How dare you, you scoundrel! Will you drive me to Lisnahoe or will
+you not?"
+
+"The divil a fut," answered the fellow, sullenly.
+
+Hayes controlled his anger by an effort. There was nothing to be
+gained by a row with the man. He turned to another driver.
+
+"Pick up that portmanteau. Drive me out to Mr. Connolly's. I'll
+pay double fare."
+
+But they all with one consent, like the guests in the parable,
+began to make excuse. One man's horse was lame, another's car was
+broken down; the services of a third had been "bespoke." Few were
+as frank as the man first engaged, but all were prompt with the
+obvious lies, scarcely less aggravating than actual rudeness. The
+station-master appeared, and attempted to use his influence in the
+traveller's behalf, but he effected nothing.
+
+"You'll have to walk, sir," said the official, civilly. "I'll keep
+your portmanteau here till Mr. Connolly sends for it." And he
+carried the luggage back into the station.
+
+"How far is it to Mr. Connolly's?" Harold inquired of a ragged
+urchin who had strolled up with several companions.
+
+"Fish an' find out," answered the youngster, with a grin.
+
+"We'll tache them to be sendin' Emergency men down here," said
+another.
+
+The New-Yorker was fast losing patience.
+
+"This is Irish hospitality and native courtesy," he remarked,
+bitterly. "Will any one tell me the road I am to follow?"
+
+"Folly yer nose," a voice shouted; and there was a general laugh,
+in the midst of which the station-master reappeared.
+
+He pointed out the way, and Harold trudged off to accomplish,
+as best he might, five Irish miles over miry highways and byways
+through the darkness of the December evening.
+
+This was the young American's first practical experience of
+boycotting.
+
+It was nearly seven o'clock when, tired and mud-bespattered, he
+reached Lisnahoe; but the warmth of his reception there went far to
+banish all recollection of the discomforts of his solitary tramp.
+A hearty hand-clasp from Jack, a frank and smiling greeting from
+Polly (she looked handsomer than ever, Harold thought, with her
+lustrous black hair and soft, dark-gray eyes), put him at his ease
+at once. Then came introductions to the rest of the family. Mr.
+Connolly, stout and white-haired, bade him welcome in a voice
+which owned more than a touch of Tipperary brogue. Mrs. Connolly,
+florid and good-humoured, was very solicitous for his comfort. The
+children confused him at first. There were so many of them, of all
+sizes, that Hayes abandoned for the present any attempt to distinguish
+them by name. There was a tall lad of twenty or thereabouts,--a
+faithful copy of his elder brother Jack,--who was addressed as
+Dick, and a pretty, fair-haired girl of seventeen, whom, as Polly's
+sister, Harold was prepared to like at once. She was Agnes. After
+these came a long array,--no less than nine more,--ending with
+a sturdy little chap of three, whom Polly presently picked up and
+carried off to bed. Mr. Connolly, of Lisnahoe, could boast of a
+full quiver.
+
+There was a general chorus of laughter as Harold related his
+experience at the railway-station. The Connollys had rested for
+several days under the ban of the most rigid boycott, and had become
+used to small discomforts. They faced the situation bravely, and
+turned all such petty troubles into jest; but the American was
+sorely disquieted to learn that there was only one servant in the
+house--an old man who for many years had blacked boots and cleaned
+knives for the family, and who had refused to crouch to heel under
+the lash of the boycott.
+
+Harold stammered an apology for his unseasonable visit, but Jack
+cut him short.
+
+"Nonsense, man; the more the merrier. We're glad to have you, and
+if you can rough it a bit you won't find it half bad fun."
+
+"Oh, I don't mind, I'm sure," said Harold; "only I'm afraid you'd
+rather have your house to yourselves at such a time as this."
+
+"Not we. Why, we expect some Emergency men down here in a few
+days. We'll treat you as the advance guard; we'll set you to work
+and give you your grub the same as an Emergency man."
+
+"What is an Emergency man?" inquired Harold. "Those Chesterfieldian
+drivers at the station seemed to think it was the worst name they
+could call me."
+
+A hearty laugh went round the circle.
+
+"If they took ye for an Emergency man, it's small wonder they were
+none too swate on ye," observed Mr. Connolly.
+
+"But what does it mean?" asked the New-Yorker.
+
+"Well," began the old gentleman, "there's good and bad in this
+world of ours. When tenants kick and labourers clare out, an' a
+boycott's put on a man, they'd lave yer cattle to die an' yer crops
+to rot for all they care. It's what they want. Well, there happens
+to be a few dacent people left in Ireland yet, and they have got up
+an organization they call the Emergency men; they go to any part
+of the country and help out people that have been boycotted through
+no fault of their own--plough their fields or reap their oats or
+dig their potatoes, an' generally knock the legs out from under the
+boycott. It stands to reason that the blackguards in these parts
+hate an Emergency man as the divil hates holy water; but ye may
+take it as a compliment that ye were mistook for one, for all that."
+
+Here Dick thrust his head into the door of the large library, in
+which the party was assembled.
+
+"Dinner is served, my lords and ladies," he cried; and there was
+a general movement toward the dining-room.
+
+"No ceremony here, my boy," laughed Jack, as he led Harold across
+the hall. "I'll be your cavalier and show you the way. The girls
+are in the kitchen, I suppose."
+
+But Miss Connolly and Agnes were already in the dining-room, and
+the party gathered round the well-spread board and proceeded to do
+full justice to the good things thereon. The meal was more like
+a picnic than a set dinner. Old Peter Dwyer, the last remaining
+retainer, had never attended at table, so he confined himself to
+kitchen duties, while the young Connollys waited on themselves and
+on each other. A certain little maid, whom Harold by this time had
+identified as Bella, devoted herself to the stranger, and took
+care that neither his glass nor his plate should be empty. A glance
+of approval, which he intercepted on its way from Miss Connolly to
+her little sister, told Harold that Bella had been given a charge
+concerning him, and he appreciated the attention none the less on
+that account, while he ate his dinner with the agreeable confidence
+that it had been prepared by Miss Polly's own fair hands.
+
+Everything at table was abundant and good of its kind, and conversation
+was alert and merry, as it is apt to be in a large family party. So
+far, the boycott seemed to have anything but a depressing effect,
+though Harold could not help smiling as he realised how it would have
+crushed to powder more than one estimable family of his acquaintance.
+
+After dinner Jack rose, saying that he must go round to the stables
+and bed down the horses for the night. Harold accompanied him, and
+acquitted himself very well with a pitchfork, considering that he
+had little experience with such an implement. he had gone with a
+couple of the younger boys to chop turnips for certain cattle which
+were being fattened for the market.
+
+"How did you come to be boycotted?" inquired Harold, with some
+curiosity, as soon as he found himself alone with Jack.
+
+"Oh, it doesn't take much talent to accomplish that nowadays,"
+answered the young Irishman, with a laugh. "In the first place, the
+governor has a habit of asking for his rent, which is an unpopular
+proceeding at the best of times. In the second place, I bought half
+a dozen bullocks from a boycotted farmer out Limerick way."
+
+"And is that all?" asked Harold, in astonishment. Notwithstanding
+his regard for his friend, he had never doubted that there must have
+been some appalling piece of persecution to justify this determined
+ostracism.
+
+"All!" echoed Jack, laughing. "You don't know much of Ireland, my
+boy, or you wouldn't ask that question. We bought cattle that had
+been raised by a farmer on land from which a defaulting tenant had
+been evicted. Men have been shot in these parts for less than that."
+
+"Pleasant state of affairs," remarked the New-Yorker.
+
+"I don't much care," Jack went on, lightly. "We're promised a
+couple of Emergency men from Ulster in a few days, and that will
+take the weight of the work off our hands. It isn't as if it were
+a busy time. No crops to be saved in winter, you see, and no farm
+work except stall-feeding the cattle. That can't wait."
+
+"But your sisters--all the work of that big house--" began Harold,
+who was thinking of Polly.
+
+"We expect two Protestant girls down from Belfast to-morrow. That'll
+be all right. We get all our grub from Dublin,--they won't sell us
+anything in Ballydoon,--and we mean to keep on doing so, boycott or
+no boycott. We have been about the best customers to the shopkeepers
+round here, and it'll come near ruining the town--and serve them
+right," the young man added, with the first touch of bitterness he
+had displayed in speaking of the persecution of his family.
+
+By next day the situation had improved. A couple of servant-girls
+arrived from the north. They were expected, and accordingly Dick
+was on hand with the jaunting-car to meet them and drive them from
+the station. The Emergency men had not yet appeared, so Jack and
+such of his brothers as were old enough to be of use were kept
+pretty busy round the place. Harold had wished to return to England
+and postpone his visit till a more convenient time, but to this no
+one would listen. He made no trouble; he was not a bit in the way;
+in fact, he was a great help. So said they all, and the young
+New-Yorker was quite willing to believe them.
+
+He did occasionally offer assistance in stable or farm-yard, but
+he much preferred to spend his time rambling over the old place,
+admiring the lawns, the woods, the gardens, all strangely silent
+and deserted now. Miss Connolly was often his companion. The
+importation from Belfast relieved her of some of the pressure of
+household cares, and since her brothers were fully occupied, it
+devolved upon her to play host as well as hostess, and point out
+to the stranger the various charms of Lisnahoe.
+
+This suited Harold exactly. He usually carried a gun and sometimes
+shot a rabbit or a wood-pigeon, but generally he was content to
+listen to Polly's lively conversation, and gaze into the depths of
+her eyes, wondering why they looked darker and softer here under the
+shadow of her native woods than they had ever seemed in the glare
+and dazzle of a New York ball-room. Harold Hayes was falling in
+love--falling consciously, yet without a struggle. He was beginning
+to realise that life could have nothing better in store for him
+than this tall, graceful girl, in her becoming sealskin cap and
+jacket, whose little feet, so stoutly and serviceably shod, kept
+pace with his own over so many miles of pleasant rambles.
+
+One day--it was the last of the old year--Miss Connolly and Harold
+were strolling along a path on which the wintry sunshine was tracing
+fantastic patterns as it streamed through the naked branches of
+the giant beech-trees. The young man had a gun on his shoulder,
+but he was paying little attention to the nimble rabbits that now
+and then frisked across the road. He was thinking, and thinking
+deeply.
+
+He could not hope for many more such quiet walks with his fair
+companion. She would soon have more efficient chaperons than the
+children, who often made a pretence of accompanying them, but invariably
+dashed off, disdainful of the sober pace of their elders. Before
+long--next day probably--he would be handed over to the tender
+mercies of Jack, who had constantly lamented the occupations that
+prevented his paying proper attention to his guest. The heir of
+Lisnahoe had promised to show the young stranger some "real good
+sport" as soon as other duties would permit. That time was close
+at hand now. The Emergency men had been at work for several days;
+they were thoroughly at home in their duties; besides, the fat
+cattle would be finished very shortly and sent off to be sold in
+Dublin. Jack had announced his intention of stealing a holiday on
+the morrow, and taking Hayes to a certain famous "snipe bottom,"
+when the game was, to use Dick's expression, "as thick as plums in
+one of Polly's puddings."
+
+It was hard to guess then they might have such another rumble, and
+Harold had much to say to the girl at his side; and yet, for the
+life of him, he could not utter the words that were trembling on
+his lips.
+
+"I don't believe you care much for shooting, Mr. Hayes."
+
+A rabbit loped slowly across die road not twenty yards from the
+gun, but Harold had not noticed it. He roused himself with a start,
+however, at the sound of his companion's voice.
+
+"Oh yes, I do, sometimes," he answered, glancing alertly to both
+sides of the road; but no game was in sight for the moment.
+
+"If this frost should break up, you may have some hunting," pursued
+Miss Connolly. "I'm afraid you're having an awfully stupid time."
+
+Harold interposed an eager denial.
+
+"Oh yes, you must be," insisted the young lady; "but Jack will find
+more time now, and if we have a thaw you will have a day with the
+hounds. Are you fond of hunting?"
+
+"I am very fond of riding, but I have never hunted," answered the
+New-Yorker.
+
+"Just like me. I am never so happy as when I am on horseback, but
+mamma won't let me ride to hounds. She says she does not approve
+of ladies on the field. It is traditional, I suppose, that every
+mistress of Lisnahoe should oppose hunting."
+
+"Indeed, why so?" inquired Harold.
+
+"Why, don't you know?" asked the girl. "Has nobody told you our
+family ghost-story?"
+
+"No one as yet," answered Hayes.
+
+"Then mine be the pleasing task; and there is a peculiar fitness
+in your hearing it just now, for to-morrow will be New-Year's Day."
+
+Harold failed to see the applicability of the date, but he made no
+observation, and Miss Connolly went on.
+
+"Ever so many years ago this place belonged to an ancestor of mine
+who was devoted to field-sports of all kinds. He lived for nothing
+else, people thought, but suddenly he surprised all the world by
+getting married."
+
+Harold thought that if her remote grandmother had chanced to
+resemble the fair young girl at his side, there was a good excuse
+for the sportsman; but he held his tongue.
+
+"The bride was exacting--or perhaps she was only timid. At any
+rate, she used her influence to wean her husband from his outdoor
+pursuits--especially hunting. He must have been very much in love
+with her, for she succeeded, and he promised to give it all up--after
+one day more. It seems that he could not get out of this last run.
+The meet was on the lawn; the hunt breakfast was to be at Lisnahoe
+House. In short, it was an affair that could neither be altered
+nor postponed.
+
+"This meet," continued Polly, "was on New-Year's Day. There was
+a great gathering, and after breakfast the gentlemen came out and
+mounted at the door; the hounds were grouped on the lawn; it must
+have been a beautiful sight."
+
+"It must, indeed," assented Harold.
+
+"Well, this old Mr. Connolly--but you must understand that he was
+not old at all, only all this happened so long ago--he mounted his
+horse, and his wife came out on the step to bid him good-bye, and
+to remind him of his promise that this should be his last hunt.
+And so it was, poor fellow; for while she was standing talking
+to him, a gust of wind came and blew part of her dress right into
+the horse's face. Mr. Connolly was riding a very spirited animal.
+It reared up and fell back on him, killing him on the spot."
+
+"How horrible!" exclaimed Harold.
+
+"Wait! The shock to the young wife was so great that she died the
+next day."
+
+"The poor girl!"
+
+"Don't waste your sympathy. It was all very long ago, and perhaps
+it never happened at all. However, the curious part of the story
+is to come. Every one that had been present at that meet--men,
+dogs, horses--everything died within the year."
+
+"To the ruin of the local insurance companies?" remarked Harold,
+with a smile.
+
+"You needn't laugh. They did. And next New-Year's night, between
+twelve and one o'clock, the whole hunt passed through the place,
+and they have kept on doing it every New-Year's night since."
+
+"A most interesting and elaborate ghost-story," said Harold. "Pray,
+Miss Connolly, may I ask if you yourself have seen the phantom
+hunt?"
+
+"No one has ever done that," replied Polly, "but when there is
+moonlight they say the shadows can be seen passing over the grass,
+and any New-Year's night you may hear the huntsman's horn."
+
+"I should like amazingly to hear it," replied the young man. "Have
+you ever heard this horn?"
+
+"I have heard A horn," the girl answered, with some reluctance.
+
+"On New-Year's night between twelve and one?" he pursued.
+
+"Of course--but I can't swear it was blown by a ghost. My brothers
+or some one may have been playing tricks. You can sit up to-night
+and listen for yourself if you want."
+
+"Nothing I should like better," exclaimed Harold. "Will you sit up
+too?"
+
+"Oh yes. We always wait to see the Old Year out and the New Year
+in. Come, Mr. Hayes, it's almost luncheon-time," she added, glancing
+at her watch; and they turned back toward the house, which was just
+visible through the leafless trees.
+
+Harold walked at her side in silence. He had heard a ghost-story,
+but the words he had hoped to speak that day were still unuttered.
+
+Loud were the pleadings, when the little ones' bedtime came, that
+they might be allowed to sit up to see the Old Year die; but Mrs.
+Connolly was inexorable. The very young ones were sent off to bed
+at their usual hour.
+
+Cards and music passed the time pleasantly till the clock was almost
+on the stroke of twelve. Then wine was brought in, and healths
+were drunk, and warm, cheerful wishes were uttered, invoking all
+the blessings that the New Year might have in store. Hands were
+clasped and kisses were exchanged. Harold would willingly have been
+included in this last ceremony, but that might not be. However, he
+could and did press Polly's hand very warmly, and the earnestness
+of the wishes he breathed in her ear called a bright colour to her
+cheek. Then came good-night, and the young American's heart grew
+strangely soft when he found himself included in Mrs. Connolly's
+motherly blessing. He thought he had never seen a happier, a more
+united family.
+
+The party was breaking up; some had retired; others were standing,
+bedroom candlesticks in their hands, exchanging a last word, when
+suddenly, out of the silence of the night, the melodious notes
+of a huntsman's horn echoed through the room. Harold recalled the
+legend, and paused at the door, mute and wondering.
+
+Jack and his father exchanged glances.
+
+"Now which of you's tryin' to humbug us this year?" asked the old
+man, laughing, while Jack looked round and proceeded, as he said,
+to "count noses."
+
+This was a useless attempt, for half the party that had sat up to
+wait for the New Year had already disappeared.
+
+Dick sprang to the window and threw it open, but the night was
+cloudy and dark.
+
+Again came the notes of the horn, floating in through the open
+window, and almost at the same moment there was a sound of hoofs
+crunching the gravel of the drive as a dozen or more animals swept
+past at wild gallop.
+
+"This is past a joke," cried Jack. "I never heard of the old hunt
+materializing in any such way as this."
+
+They rushed to the front door--Jack, Mr. Connolly, all of them.
+Harold reached it first. Wrenching it open, he stood on the step,
+while the others crowded about him and peered out into the night.
+Only darkness, rendered mirker by the lights in the hall; and from
+the distance, fainter now, came the measured beat of the galloping
+hoofs.
+
+No other sound? Yes, a long-drawn, quivering, piteous sigh; and as
+their eyes grew more accustomed to the night, out of the darkness
+something white shaped itself--something prone and helpless,
+lying on the gravel beneath the lowest step. They did not stop to
+speculate as to what it might be. With a single impulse, Jack and
+Harold sprang down, and between them they carried back into the
+hall the inanimate body of Polly Connolly.
+
+Her eyes were closed and her face was as white as the muslin dress
+she wore. Clutched in her right hand was a hunting-horn belonging
+to Dick. It was evident that the girl had stolen out unobserved to
+reproduce--perhaps for the visitor's benefit--the legendary notes
+of the phantom huntsman. This was a favorite joke among the young
+Connollys, and scarcely a New-Year's night passed that it was not
+practised by one or other of the large family; but what had occurred
+to-night? Whence came those galloping hoofs, and what was the
+explanation of Polly's condition?
+
+The swoon quickly yielded to the usual remedies, but even when she
+revived it was some time before the girl could speak intelligibly.
+Her voice was broken by hysterical sobs; she trembled in every
+limb. It was evident that her nerves had received a severe shock.
+
+While the others were occupied with Polly, Dick had stepped out on
+the gravel sweep, where he was endeavouring, by close examination,
+to discover some clue to the puzzle. Suddenly he ran back into the
+house.
+
+"Something's on fire!" he cried. "I believe it's the yard."
+
+They all pressed to the open door--all except Mrs. Connolly, who
+still busied herself with her daughter, and Harold, whose sole
+interest was centred in the girl he loved.
+
+Above a fringe of shrubbery which masked the farm-yard, a red glow
+lit up the sky. It was evident the buildings were on fire. And
+even while they looked a man, half dressed, panting, smoke-stained,
+dashed up the steps. It was Tom Neil, one of the Emergency men.
+
+These men slept in the yard, in the quarters vacated by the deserting
+coachman. In a few breathless words the big, raw-boned Ulsterman
+told the story of the last half-hour.
+
+He and his comrade Fergus had been awakened by suspicious sounds
+in the yard. Descending, they had found the cattle-shed in flames.
+Neil had forced his way in and had liberated and driven out the
+terrified bullocks. The poor animals, wild with terror, had burst
+from the yard and galloped off in the direction of the house. This
+accounted for the trampling hoofs that had swept across the lawn,
+but scarcely for Polly's terrified condition. A country-bred girl
+like Miss Connolly would not lose her wits over the spectacle
+of a dozen fat oxen broken loose from their stalls. Had the barn
+purposely burned, and had the girl fallen in with the retreating
+incendiaries?
+
+It seemed likely. No one there doubted the origin of the fire, and
+Mr. Connolly expressed the general feeling as he shook his head
+and murmered:
+
+"I mistrusted that they wouldn't let us get them cattle out o' the
+country without some trouble."
+
+"But where is Fergus?" demanded Jack, suddenly.
+
+"Isn't he here?" asked the Ulsterman. "When we seen the fire he
+started up to the big house to give the alarm, while I turned to
+to save the bullocks."
+
+"No, he never came to the house," answered Jack, and there was an
+added gravity in his manner as he turned to his brother.
+
+"Get a lantern, Dick. This thing must be looked into at once."
+
+While the boy went in search of a light, Mr. Connolly attempted to
+obtain from his daughter a connected statement of what had happened
+and how much she had seen; but she was in no condition to answer
+questions. The poor girl could only sob and moan and cover her face
+with her hands, while convulsive tremblings shook her slight figure.
+
+"Oh, don't ask me, papa; don't speak to me about it. It was
+dreadful--dreadful. I saw it all."
+
+This was all they could gain from her.
+
+"Don't thrubble the poor young lady," interposed old Peter,
+compassionately. "Sure, the heart's put acrass in her wid the
+fright. Lave her be till mornin'."
+
+There seemed nothing else to be done, so Polly was left in charge
+of her mother and sister, while the men, headed by Dick, who carried
+a lantern, set out to examine the grounds.
+
+There was no trace of Fergus between the house and the farm-yard.
+The lawn was much cut up by the cattle, for the frost had turned to
+rain early in the evening, and a rapid thaw was in progress. The
+ground was quite soft on the surface, and it was carefully scrutinised
+for traces of footsteps, but nothing could be distinguished among
+the hoof-prints of the bullocks.
+
+In the yard all was quiet. The fire had died down; the roof of the
+cattle-shed had fallen in and smothered the last embers. The barn
+was a ruin, but no other damage had been done, and there were no
+signs of the missing man.
+
+They turned back, this time making a wider circle. Almost under the
+kitchen window grew a dense thicket of laurel and other evergreen
+shrubs. Dick stooped and let the light of the lantern penetrate
+beneath the overhanging branches.
+
+There, within three steps of the house, lay Fergus, pale and
+blood-stained, with a sickening dent in his temple--a murdered man.
+
+Old Peter Dwyer was the first to break the silence: "The Lord be
+good to him! They've done for him this time, an' no mistake."
+
+The lifeless body was lifted gently and borne toward the house.
+Harold hastened in advance to make sure that none of the ladies
+were astir to be shocked by the grisly sight. The hall was deserted.
+Doubtless Polly's condition demanded all their attention.
+
+"The girl saw him murdered," muttered Mr. Connolly. "I thought it
+must have been something out of the common to upset her so."
+
+"D' ye think did she, sir?" asked old Peter, eagerly.
+
+"I havnen't a doubt of it," replied the old gentlemen shortly. "Thank
+goodness, her evidence will hang the villain, whoever he may be."
+"Ah, the poor thing, the poor thing!" murmured the servant, and
+then the sad procession entered the house.
+
+The body was laid on a table. It would have been useless to send
+for a surgeon. There was not one to be found within several miles,
+and it was but too evident that life was extinct. The top of the
+man's head was beaten to a pulp. He had been clubbed to death.
+
+"If it costs me every shilling I have in the world, and my life
+to the boot of it," said Mr. Connolly, "I'll see the ruffians that
+did the deed swing for their night's work."
+
+"Amin," assented Peter, solemnly; and Jack's handsome face darkened
+as he mentally recorded an oath of vengeance.
+
+"There'll be little sleep for this house to-night," resumed the
+old gentleman after a pause. "I'm goin' to look round and see if
+the doors are locked, an' then take a look at Polly. An', Peter."
+
+"Sir!"
+
+"The first light in the mornin'--it's only a few hours off," he
+added, with a glance at his watch --"you run over to the police
+station, and give notice of what's happened."
+
+"I will, yer honour."
+
+"Come upstairs with me, boys. I want to talk with you. Good-night,
+Mr. Hayes. This has been a blackguard business, but there's no
+reason you should lose your rest for it."
+
+Mr. Connolly left the room, resting his arms on the shoulders of his
+two sons. Harold glanced at the motionless figure of the murdered
+man, and followed. He did not seek his bedroom, however; he knew
+it would be idle to think of sleep. He entered the smoking-room,
+lit a cigar, and threw himself into a chair to wait for morning.
+
+All his ideas as to the Irish question had been changing insensibly
+during his visit to Lisnahoe. This night's work had revolutionised
+them. He saw the agrarian feud--not as he had been wont to read
+of it, glozed over by the New York papers. He saw it as it was--in
+all its naked, brutal horror.
+
+He had observed that there had been no attempt on the Connollys to
+appeal to neighbours for sympathy in this time of trouble, and he
+had asked Jack the reason. Jack's answer had been brief and pregnant.
+
+"Where's the good? We're boycotted."
+
+And that dead man lying on the table outside was only an example
+of boycotting carried to its logical conclusion.
+
+The sound of a door closing softly aroused Harold from his reverie.
+A little postern leading from the servants' quarters opened close
+to the smoking-room window. Harold looked out, and, as the night
+had grown clearer, he distinctly saw old Pete Dwyer making his way
+with elaborate caution down the shrubery path.
+
+"Going to the police station, I suppose," mused Hayes. "Well, he
+has started betimes."
+
+Then he resumed his seat and thought of Polly.
+
+What a shock for her, poor girl, to leave a happy home with her
+heart full of innocent mirth, only to encounter murder lurking
+red-handed at the very threshold!
+
+"I wish I had spoken to her to-day," he muttered. "Goodness alone
+knows when I shall find a chance now. I wonder how she is?"
+
+He realised that he could see nothing of her till breakfast time
+at any rate--if, indeed, she would be strong enough to appear at
+that meal. He had been sitting in the dark; he now threw aside his
+cigar, and, drawing his chair closer to the window, set himself
+resolutely to watch for the dawn and solace his vigil with dreams
+of Polly.
+
+A raw, chill air blew into the room. He noticed that a pane of
+glass was broken. One of the children had thrown a ball through it
+a few days before, and in the present situation of the Connolly
+household a glazier was an unattainable luxury.
+
+Harold rose with the intention of moving his chair out of the
+draught, but as he did so the sound of whispered words, seemingly
+at his very ear, made him pause. The voices came from the shrubbery
+below the window, and in one of them he recognised the unmistakable
+brogue of old Peter Dwyer.
+
+Had the man been to the police station and returned with the constables
+so quickly? This was Harold's first thought, but he dismissed it
+as soon as formed. Peter had been barely half an hour absent, and
+the station was several miles off. Where had he been, then, and
+with whom was he conversing? Harold bent his head close to the
+broken pane and listened.
+
+"Are ye sure sartin that the young woman seen us?" inquired a rough
+voice--not Peter's--"because this is goin' to be an ugly job, an'
+there's no call for us to tackle it widout needcessity?"
+
+"Sartin as stalks," whispered the old servant. "She was all of a
+thrimble, as if she'd met a sperrit an' all the words she had was
+'I seen it--I seen it all,' an' she yowlin' like a banshee."
+
+"It's quare we didn't take notice to her, for she must ha' been
+powerful close to see us such a night. I thought I heerd the horn,
+too, an' I lavin' the yard."
+
+She wint out to blow it," whispered Peter. "Most like it was stuck
+in the shrubbery she was."
+
+"Come on thin," growled the other; "it's got to be done, an' the
+byes is all here. Ye left the little dure beyant on the latch?"
+
+"I did that," responded old Peter; and then a low, soft whistle
+sounded in the darkness. It was a signal.
+
+Rapidly but cautiously Harold Hayes left the window and stole
+across the room. He understood it all. Polly had seen the murder
+and had recognised the assassins. Old Dwyer was a traitor. He
+had slipped out and warned the ruffians of the peril in which they
+stood, and now they were here to seal their own safety by another
+crime --by the sacrifice of a life far dearer to Harold than his
+own.
+
+Swiftly, silently, he sped down the gloomy passage. The lives
+of all beneath that roof were hanging on his speed. Breathless he
+reached the little door, and flung himself against it with all his
+weight while his trembling fingers groped in the darkness for bolt
+or bar.
+
+A heavy hand was laid on the latch, and the door was tried from
+without.
+
+"How's this, Peter?" inquired the rough voice. "I thought ye said
+it wasn't locked."
+
+"No more it is; it's only stiff it is, bad cess to it. Push hard,
+yer sowl ye."
+
+But at this moment Harold's hand encountered the bolt. With a sigh
+of relief he shot it into the socket, and then, searching farther,
+he supplemented the defences with a massive bar, which, he knew,
+ought always to be in place at night.
+
+Then he sped back along the passage, while muttered curses reached
+his ears from without, and the door was shaken furiously.
+
+"Jack, Jack," he panted, as he flung open the door of the room in
+which the young men slept--"Jack, come down and--"
+
+He stopped abruptly. Mr. Connolly was kneeling at the bedside,
+and his two sons knelt to the right and left of him.
+
+There were no family prayers at Lisnahoe; only the ladies were
+regular church-goers; but that it was a religious household no one
+could have doubted who knew the events of the night and saw the
+old man on his knees between his boys.
+
+They rose at the noise of Harold's entrance, and the American, who
+felt that there were no moments to be wasted on apologies, announced
+his errand.
+
+"Old Peter Dwyer is a traitor! He has gone out and brought the
+murderers to finish the work they have commenced."
+
+And then, in eager, breathless words, he told them how he had heard
+the conversation in the shrubbery, and how the men, apprehensive
+that Miss Connolly could identify them, had returned to stifle her
+testimony.
+
+"They were right there," said the old man. "She saw the first
+blow, and it was struck by Red Mike Driscoll."
+
+"Then she is better?" asked Harold, eagerly.
+
+The boys were at the other end of the room, slipping cartridges
+loaded with small shot into the fowling-pieces they had snatched
+from the walls.
+
+"Oh yes," replied Mr. Connolly; "she is all right now."
+
+A sound of heavy blows echoed through the house. The men below
+had convinced themselves that the door was firmly fastened, and,
+desperate from the conviction that they were identified, and relying
+on the loneliness of the place, they were attacking the barrier
+with a pickaxe.
+
+"I'll soon put a stop to that," cried Jack; and cocking his gun,
+he left the room.
+
+Dick was about to follow, but his father stopped him.
+
+There's no one in front of the house yet," said the old gentleman.
+"Slip out quietly, my boy, and make a dash for it to the police
+station. You've taken the cup for the two-mile race at Trinity.
+Let's see how quick you can be when you are running for all our
+lives."
+
+"I'll go down and fasten the door after him," volunteered Hayes,
+and the old man nodded. Outside, on the landing, they could hear
+the blows of the pickaxe more distinctly. Suddenly, above the clangour,
+rang out close and sharp the two reports of Jack's double-barrel.
+He had selected a window commanding the attack, and had fired
+point-blank down into the group of men.
+
+Shrieks and groans and curses testified to the accuracy of the
+young man's aim, and the sound of blows ceased. Harold and Dick
+ran rapidly downstairs. The latter unbarred the front door.
+
+"Don't you run a fearful risk if you are seen?" inquired the
+American.
+
+"Of course I do," returned the brave lad, without a tremor in his
+voice; "but somebody's got to take the chance; we can't defend the
+house forever; and I wouldn't miss this opportunity of nabbing the
+whole gang for a thousand pounds."
+
+He opened the door and sped out into the night. He was out of
+sight in a moment, and, as far as Harold could judge, he had not
+been observed. Again the blows of the pickaxe rang out from the
+rear of the house.
+
+Hayes closed the door and replaced the heavy bar. Then he turned
+to remount the stairs, and met Polly, who was standing near the
+top with a candle in her hand.
+
+She was quite composed now, but very pale. He tried to ask if she
+had recovered, but she cut him short impatiently.
+
+"There is nothing the matter with me. What is the meaning of all
+this uproar and--and the firing?"
+
+For at this moment the twin reports of Jack's breech-loader again
+echoed through the house, this time it was answered by a fusilade
+from below.
+
+There was nothing to be gained by concealment, and Harold told her
+the whole story in a few words.
+
+"How prompt and clever of you!" she said; "You have saved all our
+lives."
+
+Her praise was very sweet to him, but there was no time to enjoy
+it now.
+
+"Where are you going?" she asked, as he turned again to spring up
+the stairs.
+
+I am going to my room for my revolver," he answered. "I may have
+use for it before this is over."
+
+"Do," she replied. "I will wait for you here." Haves hurried on.
+
+Jack was in the guest's room. The young Irishman had selected that
+window, as it commanded the little door against which the brunt of
+the attack had hitherto been directed. Every pane was shattered,
+and walls and ceiling showed the effect of the volley that had
+been directed against him, but the young fellow stood his ground
+uninjured. "Don't mind me," he said, in answer to Harold's inquiry.
+"I'm all right, and can hold this fort til morning if they don't
+get ladders. I fancy I've sickened them of trying that door below."
+
+Harold hastily grasped his revolver and went His idea was to stand
+in the passage near the smoking-room, and defend the place should
+the door give way; for he did not believe that timber had ever been
+grown to withstand such blows.
+
+Mrs. Connolly put her head out of the nursery door as he passed.
+Her husband had told her of the position of affairs.
+
+"Is that you, Mr. Hayes?" she whispered. "Is Jack hurt?"
+
+"Jack is quite safe," answered the young American. "Are the children
+very much frightened?"
+
+"Not as long as I am with them," the old lady answered. "And
+Dick--what of him?"
+
+"Dick is all right too," replied Harold. He could not tell the
+poor woman that her boy was out in the open country without a wall
+between him and the ruffians.
+
+Mrs. Connolly drew back into the nursery to take the post assigned
+her--assuredly not the easiest on that terrible night--to listen
+to the doubtful sounds from without, and to support, by her own
+constancy, the courage of her children.
+
+Harold found Miss Connolly in the hall where he had left her.
+
+"What do you intend to do?" she asked.
+
+"I was going to stand inside the door they have been hammering at,"
+he answered, "in case they should break it in."
+
+"Papa is there," said the girl; "perhaps you had better wait here.
+They will try the front door next"
+
+"Very good," he assented; and then added, with a sudden apprehension,
+"but the windows. There are so many of them. How can we watch them
+all?"
+
+"There are bars to all the lower windows," she replied, "and I do
+not think they know where to find ladders. No; their next attempt
+will be at the hall door, and it will be harder to repel than
+anywhere else, for the portico will protect them from shots from
+the windows."
+
+"And now, Miss Connolly," urged Harold, "you can do no good here.
+Had not you better go upstairs out of the way?"
+
+"No, no; I would rather wait here," she answered. "Don't be afraid.
+I sha'n't give way again as I did to-night. I don't know what came
+over me, but it was all so horrible--so unexpected--" She broke
+off with a little shuddering sigh.
+
+"You saw them attack him?" asked Harold.
+
+She nodded. "I was under that big cedar outside the parlor window.
+I had hidden there to blow the horn. Suddenly I saw Fergus with a
+lantern in his hand coming full speed toward the house. Just as
+he got within a few paces of me, half a dozen men burst out from
+the laurels. Oh, how savagely they struck at him! He was down in
+a moment. It was all so close to me: I recognised Red Mike by the
+light of poor Fergus's lantern."
+
+"And then?" asked Hayes.
+
+"I don't think I remember any more. I must have staggered on to
+the house, for they tell me I was found at the foot of the steps,
+but I don't know how I got there. I was terribly frightened, but
+I sha'n't do it again--not if they blow the roof off," she said,
+trying to smile.
+
+"I should think they would be afraid to persevere now that they
+are discovered," observed Harold. "This firing must alarm the
+neighbourhood."
+
+"In a lonely place like this!" said the girl. "No, no, Mr. Hayes;
+there are not many to hear these shots, and none that would not sooner
+fight against us than on our side. We must depend on ourselves.
+But oh," she wailed, her woman's heart betraying itself through the
+mechanical calm she had maintained so long, "oh, I am sorry that
+your friendship for us should have brought you into such peril--to
+think that your visit here may cost you your life," and she broke
+off and covered her streaming eyes with her hands.
+
+"Indeed, indeed," said Harold, earnestly, "I think any danger I
+may run a small price to pay for the privilege of knowing you, and,
+and--of loving you."
+
+It was out at last; the words that had been so difficult to say
+came trippingly from his tongue now, and she did not repulse nor
+attempt to licence him.
+
+There, in the dimly lighted, lofty hall, he poured out all that
+had been in his heart since he had known her, and won from her
+in return a whisper that emboldened him to draw the yielding form
+toward him and press his lips to hers.
+
+With a pealing crash the pickaxe bit into the stout oaken door, and
+the young lovers sprang apart, terrified at this rude interruption
+of dreams. Blow followed blow, and the massive woodwork shivered
+and splintered and swayed under the savage impulse from without.
+
+The assailants had abandoned their attempt on the postern; they had
+ignored the kitchen door, within which stout Tom Neil with Dick's
+double-barrel stood on guard; they had turned their attention to
+the main entrance, where a projecting portico partially sheltered
+them from the galling discharges of Jack's favourite "Rigby."
+
+They were only partially sheltered, however. The heir of Lisnahoe
+had quickly shifted his ground when the attack on the postern
+was abandoned, and he now stood in another room, ready, with the
+quickness of a practised snipe-shot, to fire on any arm or hand
+or foot which showed even for an instant outside the shadow of the
+portico.
+
+Crash, crash, crash! Again and again the steel fangs of the pick
+ate their way through the solid timber. The lock yielded quickly,
+but, heavily barred at top and bottom, the good door resisted
+staunchly. Polly had glided away from Harold's side. He fancied
+that she had sought a place of safety, and rejoiced thereat; but
+in a moment she reappeared. She carried a shot-gun in her hands,
+and when she reached his side she rested the butt on the ground
+and leaned on the weapon.
+
+"I have often fired at things," she said, simply. "Why shouldn't
+I now?"
+
+Mr. Connolly and Jack joined them in the hall, and Neil had come up
+from the kitchen door. The main entrance was evidently the weak
+point, and the whole garrison must be on hand to defend it. The
+assailants had waxed cautious of late, and for some time had allowed
+the sharp-shooter no chance. He thought that he would be of more
+service below; but, as it proved, when he abandoned his post he
+committed a fatal error.
+
+Apparently the enemy had discovered that the galling fire from
+above had ceased. Perhaps some of their number had ventured out and
+returned scatheless. They speedily took advantage of this immunity.
+While the attacks with the pickaxe were not relaxed for a moment,
+a score of men had brought the trunk of a young larch from the
+saw-pit at the back of the house. Poised by forty strong arms,
+this improvised battering-ram was hurled against the front door,
+carrying it clear off its hinges. In the naked entry a crowd of
+rough men jostled one another, as they sprang forward with hoarse
+imprecations on their prey. The garrison was vanquished at last.
+
+Not yet. Four shots rang out as one, instantly repeated as the
+defenders discharged their second barrels into the very teeth of
+the advancing mob. Then Mr. Connolly, Neil, and Jack clubbed the
+guns they had no time to reload, and prepared to sell their lives
+dearly in a hand-to-hand struggle. Polly, as soon as she had fired,
+dropped her weapon, and in an instant Harold had swept her behind
+him, and stood, revolver in hand, his breast her bulwark, confronting
+the mob.
+
+But the mob, withered by the volley, hesitated a moment. The vestibule
+was streaming with blood, and shrieking, writhing victims strove
+in vain to rise. It was a sickening sight, but there was the
+electricity of anger in the air and no one faltered long. On they
+came again with undiminished fury.
+
+But again the rush was checked. Sharp and vengeful rang out the
+close reports of the American revolver, and at each echo a man fell.
+Less noisy, less terrific, but far more deadly, the six-shooter
+took up the work where the breech-loaders had left it; and Harold,
+covering with his body the girl he loved, fired as steadily as if
+practising in a pistol gallery, and made every shot tell.
+
+He had not used his weapon in the first rush; somewhere or other,
+young Hayes had heard of the advantages of platoon firing.
+
+The lights had been extinguished and day was just breaking. Firing
+from the obscurity into the growing light, the garrison had the
+best of the position; but there were firearms among the assailants
+too, and the balls whistled through the long hall and buried
+themselves in the panelling.
+
+But this could not last. Much as they had suffered in the assault,
+the assailants were too numerous to be longer held at bay. With a
+feeling of despair, Harold recognised the futile click that followed
+his pressure on the trigger and told him that he had fired his last
+cartridge.
+
+With a wild yell the assailants rushed forward. Not a shot met
+them; nothing stood between them and their vengeance but four pale,
+determined men, weaponless but unflinching.
+
+A quick trampling as of a body of horse was heard on the gravel
+without. A sharp, stern order reached the ears even of those in
+the house.
+
+"Unsling carbines! Make ready! Present!"
+
+Clubs and blunderbusses dropped from nerveless hands as the
+advancing mob paused, faltered, and then surged backward through
+the doorway. The lust of vengeance gave way to the instinct of
+self-preservation, and the rioters scattered in flight.
+
+Dick's gallant race against time had not been fruitless. A squadron
+of constabulary had reached the ground at the critical moment, and
+Lisnahoe was saved.
+
+Few of the assailants escaped--every avenue was guarded by mounted
+policemen; and the gang which had long terrorised the neighbourhood--whose
+teachings and example had done so much to convert the sullen
+discontent of the peasantry into overt violence--was effectually
+broken up. From that night the boycott on the Connolly household
+was raised.
+
+Red Mike Driscoll expiated on the gallows the murder of the Emergency
+man Fergus, and nearly a score of others were sentenced to various
+terms of imprisonment for assault and housebreaking.
+
+The attacking party had lost three men killed, besides many wounded,
+more or less severely, by the shot-guns. The judicial inquiry into
+the casualties brought out details of the defence which struck
+terror to the hearts of the country people. It was not likely that
+Lisnahoe would be molested again.
+
+Harold Hayes and Polly Connolly were married shortly after Easter.
+They are living in New York now, in a pleasant flat overlooking
+Central Park. They entertain a good deal, and Irish affairs are
+sometimes discussed at Mr. Hayes's table; but so far he has failed
+to convince any of his American friends that there may be more than
+one side to the agrarian question in Ireland.
+
+"Nonsense," remarked one gentleman, who professed to be deeply
+read in the subject; "they are an oppressed and suffering people.
+Let them have their land."
+
+"And what is to become of the landlords?" inquired Polly, with a
+wistful remembrance of her girlhood's beautiful home.
+
+But to this question there has been no reply, and none has been
+offered yet.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A LOST RECRUIT
+
+BY JANE BARLOW
+
+
+
+
+
+When Mick Doherty heard that there was to be route-marching next
+day in the neighbourhood of Kilmacrone, he determined upon going
+off for a long "stravade" coastward over the bog, where there were
+no roads worth mentioning, and no risks of an encounter with the
+military. In this he acted differently from all his neighbours,
+most of whom, upon learning the news, began to speculate and plan
+how they might see and hear as much as possible of their unwonted
+visitors. Opinions were chiefly divided as to whether the Murghadeen
+cross-roads would be the best station to take up, or the fork of
+the lane at Berrisbawn House. People who, for one reason or another,
+could not go so far afield, consoled themselves by reflecting that
+the band, at any rate, would be likely to come through the village,
+and would no doubt strike up a tune while passing, as it had done
+a couple of years ago, the last time the redcoats had appeared
+in Kilmacrone. And, och, but that was the grand playin' intirely!
+It done your heart good just to be hearin' the sound of it,
+bedad it did so. Old Mrs. Geoghegan said it was liker the sort of
+thunder-storms they might be apt to have in heaven above than aught
+else she could think of, might goodness forgive her for sayin' such
+a thing; and Molly Joyce said she'd as lief as not have sat down
+and cried when't was passed beyond her listenin', it went that
+delightful thumpety-thump, wid the tune flyin' up over it.
+
+The military authorities at Fortbrack were not ignorant of this
+popular sentiment, and had considered it in the order of that
+day. For experience had shown that a progress of troops through the
+surrounding country districts generally conduced to the appearance
+before the recruiting officer of sundry long-limbed, loose-jointed
+Pats, Micks, and Joes; and a recent scarcity of this raw material
+made it seem expedient to bring such an influence to bear upon the
+new ground of remote Kilmacrone. Certain brigades and squadrons
+were accordingly directed to move thitherward, under the general
+idea that an invading force from the southeast had occupied Ballybeg
+Allan, while in pursuance of another general idea, really more
+to the purpose, though not officially announced, the accompanying
+band received instructions to be liberal and lively in its
+performances by the way.
+
+All along their route through the wide brown land the soldiers might
+be sure of drawing as much sympathetic attention as that lonesome
+west country could concentrate on any given line. Probably there
+would be no one disposed, like Mick Doherty, to get out of the
+way, unless some very small child roared and ran, if of a size to
+have acquired the latter accomplishment, at the sound of the booming
+drums. To the great majority of these onlookers the spectacle
+would be a rare and gorgeous pageant, a memory resplendent across
+twilight-hued time-tracts as a vision of scarlet and golden gleams,
+and proudly pacing horses, and music that made you feel you had
+never known how much life there was in you all the while. Some
+toll, it is true, had to be paid for this enjoyment. When it had
+passed by things suddenly grew very flat and colourless, and there
+was a tendency to feel more or less vaguely aggrieved because
+you could not go a-soldiering yourself. In cases, however, where
+circumstances rendered that obviously impossible, as when people
+were too old or infirm, or were women or girls, this thrill of
+discontent, seldom very acute, soon subsided, by virtue of the
+self-preserving instinct which forbids us to persist in knocking
+our heads hard against our stone walls. But it was different where
+the beholder was so situated that he could imagine himself riding
+or striding after the rapturous march-music to fields of peril
+and valour and glory, without diminishing the vividness of the
+picture by simultaneously supposing himself some quite other person.
+The gleam in young Felix M'Guinness's eyes, as he watched the red
+files dwindle and twinkle out of sight, was to the brightening up
+beneath his grandfather's shaggy brows as the forked flash is to
+the shimmering sheet-lightnings, that are but a harmless reflection
+from far-off storms. And there, indeed, pleasure paid a ruinous
+duty. If those who were liable to it did not imitate Mick Doherty's
+prudence and hold aloof, the reason may have been that they had
+not fortitude enough to turn away from excitement offered on any
+terms, or that their position was less desperately tantalising than
+his; and the latter explanation is the more probable one, since few
+lads in and about Kilmacrone can have had their martial aspirations
+baulked by an impediment so flimsy and yet so effectual.
+
+There was nothing in the world to hinder Mick from enlisting
+except just the unreasonableness of his mother, and that was an
+unreasonableness so unreasonable as to verge upon hat her neighbours
+would hare called "quare ould conthrariness." For, though a widow
+woman, and therefore entitled to occupy a pathetic position, its
+privileges were defined by the opinion that "she was not so badly
+off intirely as she might ha' been." Mick's departure need not
+have left her desolate, since she had another son and daughter at
+home, besides Essie married in the village, and Brian settled down
+at Murghadeen, here he was doing well, and times and again asking
+her to come and live with him. Then Mick would have been able to
+help her out of his pay much more efficaciously than he could do
+by his earnings at Kilmacrone, where work was slack and its wage
+low, so that the result of a lad's daily labour sometimes seemed
+mainly the putting of a fine edge on a superfluous appetite. All these
+points were most clearly seen by Mick in the light of a fiercely
+burning desire; but that availed him nothing unless he could set
+them as plainly before some one else who was not thus illuminated.
+And not far from two years back he had resolved that he would
+attempt to do so no more.
+
+The soldiers had been about in the district on the day before,
+scattered like poppy beds over the bog, and signalling and firing
+till the misty October air tingled with excitement. When you have
+lived your life among wide-bounded solitudes, where the silence is
+oftenest broken by the plover's pipe or the croak of some heavily
+flapping bird, you will know the meaning of a bugle-call. Mick
+and his contemporaries had acted as camp-followers from early till
+late with ever intensifying ardour; one outcome whereof was that he
+heard his especial crony, Paddy Joyce, definitely decide to go and
+enlist at Fortbrack next Monday, which gave a turn more to the
+pinching screw of his own banned wish. It was with a concerted
+scheme for ascertaining whether there were any chance of bringing
+his mother round to a rational view of the matter that he and his
+friend dropped into her cabin next morning on the way to carry up
+a load of turf. Mrs. Doherty was washing her couple of blue-checked
+aprons in an old brown butter-crock, and Mick thought he had
+introduced the subject rather happily when he told her "she had a
+right to be takin' her hands out of the suds, and dippin' the finest
+curtsey she could conthrive, and she wid the Commander-in-Gineral
+of the Army Forces steppin' in to pay her a visit." Of course this
+statement required, as it was intended to require, elucidation,
+so Mick proceeded to announce: "It's himself's off to Fortbrack
+a-Monday, 'listin' he'll be in the Edenderry Light Infantry; so the
+next time we set eyes on him it's blazin' along the street we'll
+see him, like the boys we had here yisterday."
+
+"Ah! sure now, that'll be grand," said Mrs. Doherty, unwarily
+complaisant; "we'll all be proud to behold him that way. 'T is a
+fine thing far any young man who's got a fancy to take up wid it."
+
+"Och, then, bedad it is so!" said Mick, with emphasis, promptly
+making for the opening given to him.
+
+"Bedad it is," said Paddy.
+
+"There's nothin' like it," said Mick.
+
+"Ah, nothin' at all," said Paddy.
+
+Mrs. Doherty made no remark as she twisted a dripping apron into
+a sausage-shaped roll to wring the water out.
+
+"How much was it you were sayin' you'd have in the week, Paddy,
+just to put in your pocket for your divarsion like?" inquired Mick,
+with a convenient lapse of memory.
+
+"Och, seven or eight shillin's anyway," said Paddy, in the tone of
+one to whom shillings had already become trivial coins; "and that,
+mind you, after you've ped for the best of aitin' and dhrinkin',
+and your kit free, and no call to be spendin' another penny unless
+you plase. Sure, Long Murphy was tellin' me he was up in the town
+awhile ago, on a day when they were just after gettin' their pay,
+and he said the Post-Office was that thick wid the soldier lads
+sendin' home the money to their friends, he couldn't get speech of
+a clerk to buy his stamp be no manner of manes, not if he'd wrecked
+the place. 'T was the Sidmouth Fusileers was in at that time;
+they're off to Limerick now."
+
+"But that's a grand regulation they have," said Mick, "wid the
+short service nowadays. Where's the hardship in it when a man can
+quit at the ind of three year, if he's so plased? Three year's no
+time to speak of."
+
+"Sure, not at all; you'd scarce notice it passin' by. Like Barney
+Bralligan's song that finished before it begun--isn't that the way
+of it, ma'am?"
+
+"It's a goodish len'th of a while," said Mrs. Doherty.
+
+"But thin there's the lave; don't be forgettin' the lave, Paddy
+man. Supposin' we--"
+
+"Tub be sure, there's the lave. Why, it's skytin' home on lave they
+do be most continial. And the Edenderrys is movin' no farther than
+just to Athlone; that's as handy a place as you could get."
+
+"You'd not thravel from this to Athlone in the inside of a week,
+if it was iver so handy," said Mrs. Doherty.
+
+"Is it a week? Och! blathershins, Mrs. Doherty, ma'am, you're
+mistook intirely. Sure, onst you've stepped into the town yonder,
+the train'll take you there in a flash. And the trains do be oncommon
+convenient."
+
+"Free passes!" prompted Mick.
+
+"Ay, bedad, and free passes they'll give to any souldier takin'
+his furlough; so sorra the expense 't would be supposin' Mick here
+had a notion to slip home of an odd day and see you."
+
+"MICK!" said Mrs. Doherty.
+
+"Och well, I was just supposin'. But I'm tould" --the many remarkable
+facts which Paddy had been tould lost nothing in repetition--"that
+they'll sometimes have out a special train for a man in the army,
+if he wants to go anywhere partic'lar in a hurry; there's iligance
+for you. And as for promotion, it's that plinty you'll scarce git
+time to remimber your rank from one day to the next, whether it's
+a full private you are, or a lance-corporal, or maybe somethin'
+greater. Troth, there's nothin' a man mayn't rise to. And then,
+Mrs. Doherty, it's the proud woman you'd be--ANYBODY'D be--that they
+hadn't stood in the way of it. And pensions--he might be pensioned
+off wid as much as a couple of shillin's a day."
+
+"Not this long while yet, plase the pigs," broke out Mick, squaring
+his shoulders, as if Time were a visible antagonist, and momentarily
+forgetting the matter immediately in hand. "But there's chances in
+it--splendid--och, it's somethin' you may call livin'."
+
+"And," said his friend, "the rations, I'm tould, is surprisin' these
+times. The top of everythin' that's to be got, uncooked, widout
+bone."
+
+Paddy and Mick discoursed for a good while in this strain about the
+dignities and amenities of a military life, and Mrs. Doherty had
+not much to say on the subject. During the conversation, however,
+she continued to rinse one of her aprons, and wring it dry very
+carefully, and drop it back into the water, like a machine slightly
+out of gear, which goes on repeating some process ineffectually. The
+two friends read in her silence an omen of acquiescent conviction,
+and congratulated each other upon it with furtive nods and winks.
+Mick went off to the bog in high feather, believing that the
+interview had been a great success, and that his mother was, as
+Paddy put it, "comin' round to the notion gradual, like an ould
+goat grazin' round its tetherin' stump." His hopes, indeed, were
+so completely in the ascendant that he summed up his most serious
+uneasiness when he said to himself: "She'll do right enough,
+no fear, or I'd niver think of it, if Thady was just somethin'
+steadier. But sure he might happen to git a thrifle more wit yet;
+he's no great age to spake of."
+
+But when he came home about sunsetting, his mother was feeding her
+few hens outside their cabin, the end one of a mossy-roofed row,
+with its door turned at right angles to the others, looking out
+across the purple brown of the bog-land to the far-off hills, faint,
+like a blue mist with a waved pattern in it, against the horizon.
+Mick, brought up short by the group, woke out of his walking dream,
+in which he had been performing acts of valour to the tune of the
+"Soldier's Chorus" in Gounod's Faust, the last thing the band had
+played yesterday; and he noticed a diminution in the select circle
+of fowls, who crooned and crawked and pecked round the broken dish
+of scraps.
+
+"I see the specklety pullet's after strayin' on you agin," he said;
+"herself's the conthrary little bein'; I must take a look about
+for her prisintly."
+
+"Ah, sure she's sold," said his mother; "it's too many I had
+altogether. I was torminted thryin' to git feedin' for them. So
+I sold her this mornin' to Mrs. Dunne at Loughmore, that gave me a
+fine price for her. 'Deed she'd have took her off of me this while
+back, on'y I'd just a sort of notion agin' partin' from the crathur.
+But be comin' in to your supper, child alive; it's ready waitin'
+this good while. Molly's below at her sister's, and I dunno were
+Thady's off to, so there's on'y you and me in it to-night."
+
+In the room the more familiar odour of turf-smoke was overborne
+by a crisp smell of baking, and Mrs. Doherty picked up a steaming
+plate which had been keeping warm on the hearth. "Isn't that somethin'
+like, now?" she said, setting it on the table triumphantly. "Rale
+grand they turned out this time, niver a scorch on the whole of
+them. I was afeard me hand might maybe ha' got out o' mixin' them,'t
+is so long since I had e'er a one for you; but sure I bought a
+half-stone of seconds wid the price of the little hin, and that'll
+make a good few, so it will, jewel avic, and then we must see after
+some more. Take one of the thick bits, honey."
+
+Probably most of us have had experience of the unceremonious
+methods which Fate often chooses when communicating to us important
+arrangements. We have seen by what a little seeming triviality
+of an incident she may intimate that our cherished hope has been
+struck dead, or that the execution of some other decree has turned
+the current of our life away. It is sometimes as if she contemptuously
+sent us a grotesque and dwarfish messenger, who makes grimaces at
+us while telling us the bad news, which is ungenerous and scarcely
+dignified. So we need not wonder if Mick Doherty had to read the
+death-warrant of his darling ambition in a pile of three-cornered
+griddle-cakes. At any rate, he did read it there swiftly as clearly.
+Most likely he knew it all before the plate was set on the table,
+and his heart had already gone down with a run when he replied
+to his mother's commendations that they looked first-rate. As he
+indorsed this praise with what appetite he could, being, indeed,
+mechanically hungry, the uppermost thought in his mind was how he
+should at once let his mother understand that she had got the price
+she hoped for her pet hen; and after considering for a while, he
+said: "Did you ever notice the quare sort of lane-over the turf-stack
+out there's takin' on it? I question hadn't we done righter to have
+took a leveller bit of ground for under it. But I was thinkin' this
+mornin'"--of what a different subject he had been thinking!--"that
+next year I'd thry buildin' it agin' the back o' th' ould shed,
+where there does be ne'er a slant at all."
+
+"Ay, sure that 'ud be grand," said Mrs. Doherty, much more elated
+than if she had heard of a large fortune; "you couldn't find an
+iliganter place for it in the width of this world." She felt quite
+satisfied that her craftily timed treat had dispelled the dreaded
+danger, which actually was the case in a way. But if Mick would
+stay at home with her, she was perfectly content to suppose that she
+came after a griddle-cake in his estimation. Her relief made her
+unusually talkative; but Mick was reflecting between his answers
+how he must now tell Paddy Joyce that they were never to be comrades
+after all.
+
+He went out on this mission immediately after supper. The sun had
+gone down, and the cold clearness left showed things plainly, yet
+was not light. In front of the cabin-rows the small children of the
+place were screeching over their final romp and quarrel, as they
+did every evening; fowls and goats and pigs were settling down for
+the night with the squawks and bleats and squeals which also took
+place every evening; on the brown-hollowed grass-bank between
+Colgan's and O'Reilly's, old Morissy, the blind fiddler, was feebly
+scraping and twangling, according to his custom every evening, and,
+for that matter, all day long. Even the wisps of straw and scraps
+of paper blowing down the middle of the wide roadway seemed to
+have whirled over and over and caught in the rough patches of stone
+just so, as often as the sun had set. Close to the Joyces', Mick
+met Peter Maclean driving home a brood of ducklings. A broad and
+burly man, who says "shoo-shoo" to a high-piping cluster of tiny
+yellow ducks, and flourishes a long willow wand to keep them from
+straggling out of their compacted trot, does undoubtedly present
+rather an absurd appearance; yet I cannot explain why the sight
+should have seemed to prick like a sting through the wide weary
+disgust which Mick experienced as he stood in the twilit boreen
+waiting for Paddy to come out. He had scarcely a grunt to exchange
+for Peter's cheerful "Fine evenin'." What does it signify in a
+universal desert whether evenings be fine or foul? Altogether, it
+was a bad time; and Mick acted wisely in taking precautions against
+its recurrence, especially as the obstacles which had confronted
+him nearly two years back were now more hope-baffling than ever.
+For the intervening months had not brought the desirable "thrifle
+more wit" to his unsteady brother Thady, who, on the contrary,
+was developing into one of those people whose good-for-nothingness
+is taken as a matter of course even by themselves; and a bolt was
+thus, so to speak, drawn across Mick's locked door.
+
+He set off betimes on his long ramble. It was a cloudless July
+morning--the noon of summer by air and light as well as by the
+calendar. Even the barest tracts of the bog-land, which vary their
+aspect as little as may be from shifting season to season, were
+flecked with golden furze-blossom, and whitened with streaming
+tufts of fairy-cotton, and sun-warmed herbs were fragrant underfoot.
+Mick rather hurried over this stage of his "stravade," partly
+because he foresaw a blazing hot day, and he wished to be among
+more broken ground, where there are sheltered hollows scooped in
+the "knockawns," and cool patches under their bushes and boulders.
+He entered the region of these things before his shadow had shrunk
+to its briefest; for not so very far beyond Kilmacrone the smooth
+floor of the big bog crumples itself into crusts and ridges, as if
+it had caught the trick from its bounding ocean; and the nearer
+it comes to the shore the higher it heaves itself, until at last
+it is cut short by a sheer cliff wall, with storm-stunted brambles
+and furzes cowering along the edge, fathoms above a base-line of
+exuberant weed and foam. The long sea-frontage of this rock-rampart
+is fissured by only a few narrow clefts. On the left hand, facing
+oceanward, the coast is a labyrinth of mountain fiords, straits,
+and bays, where you may see great craggy shoulders and domed summits
+waver in their crystal calm at the flick of a gull's dipping wing,
+or add to the terror of the tempest as they start out black and
+unmoved behind rifts of swirling mists. On the right there is the
+same fretwork of land and water, but wrought in less high relief--a
+tract of lonely strands, where shells and daisies whiten the grass,
+and pink-belled creepers trail, entangled with tawny-podded wrack,
+across the shingle. You are apt thereabouts to happen on clattering
+pebble-banks and curling foam when you are apparently deep among
+meadows and corn-land, or to come on sturdy green potato-drills
+round some corner where you had confidently supposed the unstable
+furrows of the sea. And the intricate ground-plan of the district
+must be long studied before you can always feel sure whether the
+low-shelving swarded edges by which you are walking frame salt or
+fresh water.
+
+Mick was bound eventually for one of those ravines which cleave
+the cliffs' precipitous wall and give access to the shore, generally
+by a deep-sunken sandy boreen. Here, under a tall bank, there are
+a couple of cabins, besides another which, having lost its roof,
+may be reckoned as a half; so that Tullykillagin is not a large
+place, even as places go in its neighbourhood. He knew, however,
+that he could count upon getting something to eat at either of
+the two cabins first mentioned, and, indeed, at the bare-raftered
+one also, if, as often chanced, it was occupied by Tim Fottrel,
+the gatheremup; and this prospect served for an incentive, feeble
+enough, though it strengthened a little as the hours wore on. So
+languid, in fact, was his resolution that at one moment he thought
+he would just sthreel home again without going any farther; if he
+went aisy everybody would have cleared out of Kilmacrone before he
+got back. But at this time he was sitting among some broom-bushes,
+under which last year's withered black pods were strewn, and he
+determined that if there were an odd number of seeds in the first
+one he opened he would go on to Tullykillagin. There were nine in
+it, and he logically continued to loiter seaward.
+
+He dawdled so much that when he came to the cliff the sun already
+hung low over the water, and as he walked along the edge his shadow
+stretched away far inland across the dappled pale and dark green
+of the furze-fretted sward. The sea unrolled a ceaseless scroll
+of faint wild-hyacinth colour, on which invisible breeze-wafts
+inscribed and erased mysterious curves and strokes like hieroglyphics.
+Here and there it showed deep purple stains; for a flight of little
+snowflake clouds were fluttering in from the Atlantic, followed
+at leisure by deep-folded, glistering drifts, now massed on the
+horizon-rim to muffle the descending sun. Yet that tide, with all
+its smoothness, showed a broad band of foam wherever it touched
+the pebbles, which lay dry before its sliding, for it was on its
+way in. It had nearly reached the cliff's foot in most places;
+but Mick presently came to a point where he looked down on a small
+field of very green grass, set as an oasis between the waves and
+the walling rock, with a miniature chaos of heaped-up boulders
+to left and right. A few of them were scattered over it, and even
+the highest of these wore a scarf of leathery flat sea-ribbon, in
+token of occasional submergence; but amongst them grew hawthorn and
+sloe bushes, and a clump of scarlet-tasselled fuchsia. To heighten
+the incongruity of its aspect, this pasture was inhabited by a large
+strawberry cow, who seemed to be enjoying the alternate mouthfuls
+of seaweed and woodbine, which she munched off a thickly wreathed
+boulder, untroubled by the fact that the meal bade fair to be her
+last, since the rising spring tide had already all but cut off
+access on either hand, and would still flow for some hours.
+
+"Musha, now I'll be skivered," said Mick, standing still, "if that's
+not Joe McEvoy's ould cow. You 'll be apt to experience a dampin',
+ould woman, if you don't quit out of there. Whethen, it's a quare
+man he is to lave the baste sthrayin' about permiscuous in the
+welther of the tide."
+
+He peered over the edge of the cliff, evidently mistrusting its
+smooth face; and then he threw several stones and clods at the
+cow, with shouts of "Hi, out of that!" and "Shoo along!" But his
+missiles fell short of their mark, and if his voice reached her,
+she treated it with the placid disregard of which her kind are
+mistress on such occasions, and never raised her crumple-horned
+head.
+
+"Have it your own way, then," said Mick, cynically; "it's nothin'
+to me if you've a mind to thry a taste of swimmin' under wather."
+
+He had not, however, strolled much farther when he met with somebody
+who was vastly more concerned about the animal's impending fate.
+This was old Joe McEvoy himself, who, out of the mouth of a steep,
+sandy boreen, sprang up suddenly, like a jack-fn-the-box-one of the
+shock-wigged, saturnine-complexioned pattern. But no jack-in-the-box
+could have looked so flurriedly distracted, or have muttered to
+itself such queer execrations as he did, hobbling along.
+
+"A year's loadin' of bad luck to the whoule of thim!" he was saying
+with gasps when Mick approached; "there's not a one of thim but
+'ud do desthruction on herself sooner than lose a chanst to be
+annoyin' anybody, if she could conthrive it no other way."
+
+"If it's th' ould cow you're cursin'," said Mick, "she's down below
+yonder."
+
+"Och, tell me somethin' I dunno, you gomeral, not but what I'm nigh
+as big a one meself as can be, to go thrust her wid that little
+imp of mischief. Bad scran to it, I must give me stiff leg a rest,
+and she 'll be up here blatherin' after me before you can look
+round, you may bet your brogues she will."
+
+"Gomeral yourself and save your penny," said Mick, whose temper
+was not at its best after his long day of hungry discontent. "And
+the divil a call you have to be onaisy about the crathur follyin'
+you anywheres. Stayin' where she is she's apt to be, until she
+gets the chanst of goin' out to say wid the turn of the tide, and
+that's like enough to happen her."
+
+"And who at all was talkin' of the cow follyin'? It's ould Biddy
+Duggan down below that nivir has her tongue off of me, nagglin' at
+me for lettin' the poor crathur pick her bit along the beach, and
+it a strip of the finest grass in the townland, when it's above
+wather, just goin' to loss. A couple of pints differ extry it does
+be makin' in the milkin' of a day she's grazed there. But it's
+threatenin' dhrowndin' and disthruction over it th' ould banshee
+is this great while; and plased she 'll be, rale plased and sot
+up. Sure, that's what goes agin' me, to be so far gratifyin' her,
+and herself as mischevious, harm-hopin' an ould toad as iver I hated
+the sight of--Och, bejabers, didn't I tell you so? It's herself
+comin' gabble-gobblin' up."
+
+As he spoke, a very small, meagre, raggged old woman emerged
+swiftly from the lane, accompanied by one younger and stouter and
+less nimble of foot, her temporary neighbour, Mrs. Gatheremup.
+Mrs. Duggan seemed to bear out Joe's character of her; for now, like
+Spenser's hag Occasion, "ever as she went her tongue did walk," and
+the path it took was not one of peace. "Maybe, after this happenin',
+some she could name might have the wit to believe what other people
+tould thim, who knew bitter than to be thinkin' to feed a misfortnit
+crathur of an ould cow on sand and sayweed as if she was a sayl or
+a saygull, and it a scandal to the place to behould her foostherin'
+along down there wid the waves' edges slitherin' up to her nose,
+and she sthrivin' to graze, and the slippery stones fit to break
+her neck." Such was the purport of Mrs. Duggan's remarks, which
+were punctuated by Joe McEvoy's peremptory requests that she would
+lave gabbin' and givin' impidence, and his appeals to the others
+to inform him whether they weren't all to be pitied for havin' to
+put up wid the ould screech-owl's foolish talk.
+
+"Sure, that's the way they do be keepin' it up continial, Micky
+lad," Mrs. Fottrel called to him, shrilly, as if athwart gusts of
+high wind. "I'll pass yon me word the two of thim 'll stand at their
+doors of an evenin" and give bad langwidge to aich other across
+the breadth of the road till they have us all fairly moidhered wid
+the bawls of thim, and I on'y wonder the thatch doesn't take and
+slip down on their ould heads."
+
+"Belike it's lave of the likes of YOU I ought to be axin' where I'm
+to git grazin' for me own cattle?" a growl of sarcastic thunder
+was just then observing, to which flashed a scathing response: "And,
+bedad, then, it's lave you had a right to be axin' afore you sent
+off me poor son Hughey's bit of a Pat, to be wastin' his time
+mindin' your ould scarecrow and gettin' himself dhrownded in the
+tide. It's no thanks to you if the innicent child isn't as like
+as not lyin' this minute under six fut of could wather, instead of
+fetchin' me in the full of me kettle that I'm roarin' to him for
+this half-hour, and niver a livin' sinner widin sight or--"
+
+"Saints above! is little Pat strayin' along wid the cow?" said Mrs.
+Fottrel, much aghast. "I was noticin' I didn't see him anywheres
+this evenin'. What's to become of him down there, and it risin'
+beyond the heighth of iverythin' as fast as it can flow? Sure, this
+mornin' 't was wallopin' itself agin' the wall, back of our place,
+fit to swally all before it."
+
+"Why didn't you tell me the child was below?" said Mick. "I'd lep
+down there and fetch him up aisy enough; on'y there was no mortial
+use goin' after the cow, for niver a crathur that took its stand
+on four hoofs 'ud git its own len'th up the cliff, unless it might
+be some little divil of a goat. And the wather's dhrowndin'-deep
+alongside it afore now."
+
+"Musha, good gracious! sure, all I done was to bid the spalpeen be
+keepin' an eye on her now and agin while he would be playin' about
+there," said Joe; "and it's twinty chances if ivir he did at all.
+Trapesed off wid himself somewheres; he'll be right enough be this
+time. 'T is n't the likes of him to go to loss, it's the quare
+five-poun' note he'd fetch at Athenry fair."
+
+"He might ha' broke his legs climbin' disp'rit on the rocks," said
+Mrs. Fottrel, unconvinced by the argument from unsaleability," and
+be lyin' there now waitin' for the say-waves to wash the life out
+of him. Heaven pity the crathur!"
+
+"Sure, I 'll step down and see what's gone wid him," said Mick.
+
+The descent of the cliff, though not riskless, was no great feat
+for an active youth, and Mick accomplished it safely, but to little
+purpose, he thought at first, since the irreclaimable cow appeared
+to be the sole denizen of the shrinking beach. However, when he
+had shouted and scrambled for some time without result, he came
+abruptly upon a nook among the piled-up rocks, where a very small
+black-headed boy in tattered petticoats was digging the sandy floor
+with a razor-shell.
+
+"Och, it's there you are," said Mick, stepping down from a weedy
+ledge; "and what have you in it at all that you didn't hear me
+bawlin' to you?"
+
+"Throops," said Pat, gloatingly, almost too absorbed t o glance
+off his work; "it's Ballyclavvy, the way it did be in the school
+readin'-book at Duffclane. There's the Roossian guns" (he pointed
+to a row of black-mouthed mussel-shells, mounted on periwinkle
+carriages), "and here's the sides of the valley I'm makin'; long
+and narrer it was. Just step round and look at it from where I am,
+Micky, but don't be clumpin' your fut on the French cavalary."
+
+"The divil's in it all," said Mick, with a sudden bitter vehemence,
+which he accounted for to himself by adding, as he pointed toward
+the seething white line: "D' you see where that's come to, you
+little bosthoon? And you sittin' grubbin' away here as if you were
+pitaty-diggin' a dozen mile inland."
+
+Pat looked in the desired direction, but misapprehended the object
+to be the western sky, where an overblown fiery rose seemed to have
+scattered all its petals broadcast. "Sure, that's on'y the sun settin'
+red like," he explained, indifferently, and would have resumed his
+excavations if he had not been seized and hustled half-way up the
+cliff before he could disengage his mind from his brigades and
+batteries. Both heads soon bobbed up over the edge without accident;
+for Pat climbed like a monkey when once he had grasped the situation.
+His grandmother's attitude toward Joe McEvoy constrained her to
+receive him effusively as prey snatched from the foaming jaws of
+death; but it was out of Mrs. Fottrel's pocket that a peppermint-drop
+came to sweetly seal his new lease of life.
+
+"And what are you after now, Mick?" she said, observing that,
+instead of drawing himself up to level ground, he stood poised on
+an uncomfortable perch, and looked back the steep way he had come.
+
+"I'm thinkin' to slip down agin," he said, "and see if be any manner
+of manes I could huroosha th' ould baste round the rocks yonder.
+The wather mightn't be altogither too deep there yit; at all evints,
+she's between the divil and the deep say where she is now; it's
+just a chanst."
+
+"Sorra a much," said Joe, disconsolately; "scarce worth breakin'
+your bones after, any way."
+
+"Bones, how are you? Sure, there's no call to be breakin' bones in
+the matter," said Mick, beginning to descend. This was true enough,
+if he had minded what he was about; but then he did not. So far from
+it, he was saying to himself, "One 'ud ha' thought now she might
+ha' took a sort of pride in it," when the bottom of the world seemed
+to drop away from under his feet, and his irrelevant meditations
+ended in a shattering thud down on the rocky pavement a long way
+below. He never heard the shouts and shrieks which the incident
+occasioned above his head. Once only he became dimly conscious of
+a quivering network of prismatic flashes, which he could not see
+through, and a booming throb in his ears, which made him murmur
+dazedly: "Wirra, I thought I'd got beyond hearin' of them drums."
+In another moment: "What's took me?" he said, with a start. But
+the depths he sank among remain always dark and silent.
+
+Next day messengers from Tullykillagin told Mrs. Doherty that the
+Lord had "took" her son Mick, and that "he had gone out to say wid
+the tide, before they could get anybody to him, and there was no
+tellin' where he might be swep' up, if ever he came to shore at
+all."
+
+"And the quarest part of it was that Joe McEvoy's ould cow that
+he went after had legged herself up, somehow, on the rocks out of
+reach, and niver a harm on her when they found her in the mornin'.
+But she'd been all of a could quiver ever since, and himself doubted
+if she'd rightly git over it--might the divil mend her, and she
+after bein' the death of a fine young man. Sure, every sowl up at
+Tullykillagin was rale annoyed about it. Even ould Biddy Duggan,
+that was as cross-tempered as a weasel, did be frettin' for the
+lad; and Joe McEvoy was sittin' crooched like an ould wet hen, over
+his fire block out, that he hadn't the heart to be lightin'."
+
+Mrs. Doherty said she didn't know what talk they had of the Lord
+and the say and the ould cow; but she'd known well enough the way
+it was when Mick niver come home last night. He'd just took off
+after the souldiers, as he'd a great notion one time.
+
+She was, as may have been observed, rather a dull-witted woman,
+and proportionately hard to convince against her will.
+
+"A great notion intirely," she said; "on'y she'd scarce have
+thought he'd go do such a thing on her in airnest. And I runnin'
+away indoors yisterday out of the heighth of the divarsion, when
+the band-music was a thrate to be hearin', just to see his bit of
+supper wouldn't be late on him. And the grand little pitaty-cake
+I had for him; I may be throwin' it to the hins now, unless Molly
+might fancy a bit; for we 'll not be apt to set eyes on him this
+three year. Och, wirra! and he that contint at home, and niver a
+word out of him about the souldierin' this long while. If it had
+been poor Thady itself, 't would ha' been diff'rint; but Mick--I'd
+scarce ha' thought it of him; for he'd a dale of good-nature, Mrs.
+Geoghegan, ma'am."
+
+"He had so, tub-be sure, woman dear," said Mrs. Geoghegan, "or he
+might be sittin' warm in here this minnit."
+
+"The back of me hand to thim blamed ould throopers," said Mrs.
+Doherty, "that sets the lads wild wid their thrampin' around."
+
+"Poor Mick would be better wid them than where he is now--God have
+mercy on his soul!" said a neighbour, solemnly.
+
+But Mick's mother continued to bewail herself: "And I missin' the
+best of all the tunes they played, so Molly was tellin' me, for
+'fraid he 'd be kep' waitin' for his supper, and he comin' home
+to me hungry; and now--There's a terrible len'th of time in three
+year. I wouldn't ha' believed he'd ha' done it on me."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE RIVAL DREAMERS
+
+BY JOHN BANIM
+
+
+
+
+
+Mr. Washington Irving has already given to the public a version
+of an American legend, which, in a principal feature, bears some
+likeness to the following transcript of a popular Irish one. It
+may, however, be interesting to show this very coincidence between
+the descendants of a Dutch transatlantic colony and the native
+peasantry of Ireland, in the superstitious annals of both. Our
+tale, moreover, will be found original in all its circumstances,
+that alluded to only excepted.
+
+Shamus Dempsey returned a silent, plodding, sorrowful man, though
+a young one, to his poor home, after seeing laid in the grave
+his aged, decrepit father. The last rays of the setting sun were
+glorious, shooting through the folds of their pavilion of scarlet
+clouds; the last song of the thrush, chanted from the bough nearest
+to his nest, was gladdening; the abundant though but half-matured
+crops around breathed of hope for the future. But Shamus's bosom was
+covered with the darkness that inward sunshine alone can illumine.
+The chord that should respond to song and melody had snapped in it;
+for him the softly undulating fields of light-green wheat, or the
+silken-surfaced patches of barley, made a promise in vain. He was
+poor, penniless, friendless, and yet groaning under responsibilities;
+worn out by past and present suffering, and without a consoling
+prospect. His father's corpse had just been buried by a subscription
+among his neighbours, collected in an old glove, a penny or a
+half-penny from each, by the most active of the humble community to
+whom his sad state was a subject of pity. In the wretched shed which
+he called "home," a young wife lay on a truss of straw, listening
+to the hungry cries of two little children, and awaiting her hour
+to become the weeping mother of a third. And the recollection that
+but for an act of domestic treachery experienced by his father and
+himself, both would have been comfortable and respectable in the
+world, aggravated the bitterness of the feeling in which Shamus
+contemplated his lot. He could himself faintly call to mind a time
+of early childhood, when he lived with his parents in a roomy house,
+eating and sleeping and dressing well, and surrounded by servants
+and workmen; he further remembered that a day of great affliction
+came, upon which strange and rude persons forced their way into the
+house; and, for some cause his infant observation did not reach,
+father, servants, and workmen (his mother had just died) were
+all turned out upon the road and doomed to seek the shelter of a
+mean roof. But his father's discourse, since he gained the years
+of manhood, supplied Shamus with an explanation of all these
+circumstances, as follows.
+
+Old Dempsey had been the youngest son of a large farmer, who divided
+his lands between two elder children, and destined Shamus's father
+to the Church, sending him abroad for education, and, during its
+course, supplying him with liberal allowances. Upon the eve of
+ordination the young student returned home to visit his friends;
+was much noticed by neighbouring small gentry of each religion; at
+the house of one of the opposite persuasion from his met a sister
+of the proprietor, who had a fortune in her own right; abandoned
+his clerical views for her smiles; eloped with her; married her
+privately; incurred thereby the irremovable hostility of his own
+family; but, after a short time, was received, along with his wife,
+by his generous brother-in-law, under whose guidance both became
+reputably settled in the house to which Shamus's early recollections
+pointed and where, till he was about six years old, he passed
+indeed a happy childhood.
+
+But, a little previous to this time, his mother's good brother died
+unmarried, and was succeeded by another of her brothers, who had
+unsuccessfully spent half his life as a lawyer in Dublin, and who,
+inheriting little of his predecessor's amiable character, soon showed
+himself a foe to her and her husband, professedly on account of
+her marriage with a Roman Catholic. He did not appear to their
+visit, shortly after his arrival in their neighbourhood, and he
+never condescended to return it. The affliction experienced by his
+sensitive sister from his conduct entailed upon her a premature
+accouchement, in which, giving birth to a lifeless babe, she
+unexpectedly died. The event was matter of triumph rather than of
+sorrow to her unnatural brother. For, in the first place, totally
+unguarded against the sudden result, she had died intestate; in
+the next place, he discovered that her private marriage had been
+celebrated by a Roman Catholic priest, consequently could not,
+according to law, hold good; and again, could not give to her nominal
+husband any right to her property, upon which both had hitherto
+lived, and which was now the sole means of existence to Shamus's
+father.
+
+The lawyer speedily set to work upon these points, and with little
+difficulty succeeded in supplying for Shamus's recollections a day
+of trouble, already noticed. In fact, his father and he, now without
+a shilling, took refuge in a distant cabin, where, by the sweat of
+his parent's brow, as a labourer in the fields, the ill-fated hero
+of this story was scantily fed and clothed, until maturer years
+enabled him to relieve the old man's hand of the spade and sickle,
+and in turn labour for their common wants.
+
+Shamus, becoming a little prosperous in the funeral we now see
+Shamus returning, and to such a home does he bend his heavy steps.
+
+If to know that the enemy of his father and mother did not thrive
+on the spoils of his oppression could have yielded Shamus any
+consolation in his lot, he had long ago become aware of circumstances
+calculated to give this negative comfort. His maternal uncle
+enjoyed, indeed, his newly acquired property only a few years after
+it came into his possession. Partly on account of his cruelty to
+his relations, partly from a meanness and vulgarity of character,
+which soon displayed itself in his novel situation, and which, it
+was believed, had previously kept him in the lowest walks of his
+profession as a Dublin attorney, he found himself neglected and
+shunned by the gentry of his neighbourhood. To grow richer than
+those who thus insulted him, to blazon abroad reports of his wealth,
+and to watch opportunities of using it to their injury, became the
+means of revenge adopted by the parvenu. His legitimate income not
+promising a rapid accomplishment of this plan, he ventured, using
+precautions that seemingly set suspicion at defiance, to engage in
+smuggling-adventures on a large scale, for which his proximity to
+the coast afforded a local opportunity. Notwithstanding all his
+pettifogging cleverness, the ex-attorney was detected, however, in
+his illegal traffic, and fined to an amount which swept away half
+his real property. Driven to desperation by the publicity of his
+failure, as well as by the failure itself, he tried another grand
+effort to retrieve his fortune; was again surprised by the revenue
+officers; in a personal struggle with them, at the head of his
+band, killed one of their body; immediately absconded from Ireland;
+for the last twenty years had not been authentically heard of, but,
+it was believed, lived under an assumed name in London, deriving
+an obscure existence from some mean pursuit, of which the very
+nature enabled him to gratify propensities to drunkenness and other
+vices, learned during his first career in life.
+
+All this Shamus knew, though only from report, inasmuch as his
+uncle had exiled himself while he was yet a child, and without
+previously having become known to the eyes of the nephew he had so
+much injured. But if Shamus occasionally drew a bitter and almost
+savage gratification from the downfall of his inhuman persecutor,
+no recurrence to the past could alleviate the misery of his present
+situation.
+
+He passed under one of the capacious open arches of the old abbey,
+and then entered his squalid shed reared against its wall, his heart
+as shattered and as trodden down as the ruins around him. No words
+of greeting ensued between him and his equally hopeless wife, as
+she sat on the straw of her bed, rocking to sleep, with feeble and
+mournful cries, her youngest infant. He silently lighted a fire
+of withered twigs on his ready-furnished hearthstone; put to roast
+among their embers a few potatoes which he had begged during the
+day; divided them between her and her crying children; and, as
+the moon rising high in the heavens warned him that night asserted
+her full empire over the departed day, Shamus sank down upon the
+couch from which his father's mortal remains had lately been borne,
+supperless himself, and dinnerless, too, but not hungry; at least
+not conscious or recollecting that he was.
+
+His wife and little ones soon slept soundly, but Shamus lay for
+hours inaccessible to nature's claims for sleep as well as for
+food. From where he lay he could see, through the open front of
+his shed, out into the ruins abroad. After much abstraction in his
+own thoughts, the silence, the extent, and the peculiar desolation of
+the scene, almost spiritualised by the magic effect of alternate
+moonshine and darkness, of objects and of their parts, at last diverted
+his mind, though not to relieve it. He remembered distinctly, for
+the first time, where he was--an intruder among the dwellings of
+the dead; he called to mind, too, that the present was their hour
+for revealing themselves among the remote loneliness and obscurity
+of their crumbling and intricate abode. As his eye fixed upon a
+distant stream of cold light or of blank shadow, either the wavering
+of some feathery herbage from the walls or the flitting of some
+night-bird over the roofless aisle, made motion which went and came
+during the instant of his alarmed start, or else some disembodied
+sleeper around had challenged and evaded his vision so rapidly as
+to baffle even the accompaniment of thought. Shamus would, however,
+recur, during these entrancing aberrations, to his more real causes
+for terror; and he knew not, and to this day cannot distinctly
+tell, whether he waked or slept, when a new circumstance absorbed
+his attention. The moon struck fully, under his propped roof, upon
+the carved slab he had appropriated as a hearthstone; and turning
+his eye to the spot, he saw the semblance of a man advanced in
+years, though not very old, standing motionless, and very steadfastly
+regarding him. The still face of the figure shone like marble in
+the night-beam, without giving any idea of the solidity of that
+material; the long and deep shadows thrown by the forehead over the
+eyes left those unusally expressive features vague and uncertain.
+Upon the head was a close-fitting black cap, the dress was a
+loose-sleeved, plaited garment of white, descending to the ground,
+and faced and otherwise checkered with black, and girded round
+the loins; exactly the costume which Shamus had often studied in
+a little framed and glazed print, hung up in the sacristy of the
+humble chapel recently built in the neighbourhood of the ruin by a
+few descendants of the great religious fraternity to whom, in its day
+of pride, the abbey had belonged. As he returned very inquisitively,
+though, as he avers, not now in alarm, the fixed gaze of his midnight
+visitor, a voice reached him, and he heard these strange words:
+
+"Shamus Dempsey, go to London Bridge, and you will be a rich man."
+
+"How will that come about, your reverence?" cried Shamus, jumping
+up from the straw.
+
+But the figure was gone; and stumbling among the black embers on the
+remarkable place where it had stood, he fell prostrate, experiencing
+a change of sensation and of observance of objects around, which
+might be explained by supposing a transition from a sleeping to a
+waking state of mind.
+
+The rest of the night he slept little, thinking of the advice he
+had received, and of the mysterious personage who gave it. But he
+resolved to say nothing about his vision, particularly to his wife,
+lest, in her present state of health, the frightful story might
+distress her; and, as to his own conduct respecting it, he determined
+to be guided by the future; in fact, he would wait to see if his
+counsellor came again. He did come again, appearing in the same
+spot at the same hour of the night, and wearing the same dress,
+though not the same expression of feature; for the shadowy brows
+now slightly frowned, and a little severity mingled with the former
+steadfastness of look.
+
+"Shamus Dempsey, why have you not gone to London Bridge, and your
+wife so near the time when she will want what you are to get by
+going there? Remember, this is my second warning."
+
+"Musha, your reverence, an' what am I to do on Lunnon Bridge?"
+
+Again he rose to approach the figure; again it eluded him. Again a
+change occurred in the quality of the interest with which he regarded
+the admonition of his visitor. Again he passed a day of doubt as to
+the propriety of undertaking what seemed to him little less than
+a journey to the world's end, without a penny in his pocket, and
+upon the eve of his wife's accouchement, merely in obedience to a
+recommendation which, according to his creed, was not yet sufficiently
+strongly given, even were it under any circumstances to be adopted.
+For Shamus had often heard, and firmly believed, that a dream or a
+vision instructing one how to procure riches ought to be experienced
+three times before it became entitled to attention.
+
+He lay down, however, half hoping that his vision might thus
+recommend itself to his notice It did so.
+
+"Shamus Dempsey," said the figure, looking more angry than ever,
+"you have not yet gone to London Bridge, although I hear your wife
+dying out to bid you go. And, remember, this s my third warning."
+
+"Why, then, tundher an' ouns, your reverence, just stop and tell
+me-"
+
+Ere he could utter another word the holy visitant disappeared, in
+a real passion at Shamus's qualified curse; and at the same moment
+his confused senses recognised the voice of his wife, sending up
+from her straw pallet the cries that betoken a mother's distant
+travail. Exchaning a few words with her, he hurried away. professedly
+call up, at her cabin window, an old crane who sometimes attended
+the very poorest women in Nance Dempsey's situation.
+
+"Hurry to her, Noreen, acuishla, and do the best it's the will
+of God to let you do. And tell her from me, Noreen--" He stopped,
+drawing in his lip, and clutching his cudgel hard.
+
+"Shamus, what ails you, avick?" asked old Noreen; "what ails you,
+to make the tears run down in the gray o' the morning?"
+
+"Tell her from me," continued Shamus, "that it's from the bottom o'
+the heart I 'll pray, morning and evening, and fresh and fasting,
+maybe, to give her a good time of it; and to show her a face on
+the poor child that's coming, likelier than the two that God sent
+afore it. And that I 'll be thinking o' picturing it to my own
+mind, though I'll never see it far away."
+
+"Musha, Shamus, what are you speaking of?"
+
+"No Matter, Noreen, only God be wid you, and wid her, and wid the
+weenocks; and tell her what I bid you. More-be-token, tell her that
+poor Shamus quits her in her throuble wid more love from the heart
+out than he had for her the first day we came together; and I'll
+come back to her at any rate, sooner or later, richer or poorer,
+or as bare as I went; and maybe not so bare either. But God only
+knows. The top o' the morning to you, Noreen, and don't let her
+want the mouthful o' praties while I'm on my thravels. For this,"
+added Shamus, as he bounded off, to the consternation of old
+Noreen--"this is the very morning and the very minute that, if
+I mind the dhrame at all at all, I ought to mind it; ay, without
+ever turning back to get a look from her, that 'ud kill the heart
+in my body entirely."
+
+Without much previous knowledge of the road he was to take, Shamus
+walked and begged his way along the coast to the town where he
+might hope to embark for England. Here the captain of a merchantman
+agreed to let him work his passage to Bristol, whence he again
+walked and begged into London.
+
+Without taking rest or food, Shamus proceeded to London Bridge,
+often put out of his course by wrong directions, and as often
+by forgetting and misconceiving true ones. It was with old London
+Bridge that Shamus had to do (not the old one last pulled down, but
+its more reverend predecessor), which, at that time, was lined
+at either side by quaintly fashioned houses, mostly occupied
+by shopkeepers, so that the space between presented perhaps the
+greatest thoroughfare then known in the Queen of Cities. And at
+about two o'clock in the afternoon, barefooted, ragged, fevered,
+and agitated, Shamus mingled with the turbid human stream, that
+roared and chafed over the as restless and as evanescent stream
+which buffeted the arches of old London Bridge. In a situation so
+novel to him, so much more extraordinary in the reality than his
+anticipation could have fancied, the poor and friendless stranger
+felt overwhelmed. A sense of forlornness, of insignificance, and
+of terror seized upon his faculties. From the stare or the sneers
+or the jostle of the iron-nerved crowd he shrank with glances of
+wild timidity, and with a heart as wildly timid as were his looks.
+For some time he stood or staggered about, unable to collect his
+thoughts, or to bring to mind what was his business there. But when
+Shamus became able to refer to the motive of his pauper journey
+from his native solitudes into the thick of such a scene, it was
+no wonder that the zeal of superstition totally subsided amid the
+astounding truths he witnessed. In fact, the bewildered simpleton
+now regarded his dream as the merest chimera. Hastily escaping
+from the thoroughfare, he sought out some wretched place of repose
+suited to his wretched condition, and there mooned himself asleep,
+in self-accusations at the thought of poor Nance at home, and in
+utter despair of all his future prospects.
+
+At daybreak the next morning he awoke, a little less agitated, but
+still with no hope. He was able, however, to resolve upon the best
+course of conduct now left open to him; and he arranged immediately
+to retrace his steps to Ireland, as soon as he should have begged
+sufficient alms to speed him a mile on the road. With this intent
+he hastily issued forth, preferring to challenge the notice of
+chance passengers, even at the early hour of dawn, than to venture
+again, in the middle of the day, among the dreaded crowds of the
+vast city. Very few, indeed, were the passers-by whom Shamus met
+during his straggling and stealthy walk through the streets, and
+those of a description little able or willing to afford a half-penny
+to his humbled, whining suit, and to his spasmed lip and watery
+eye. In what direction he went Shamus did not know; but at last he
+found himself entering upon the scene of his yesterday's terror.
+Now, however, it presented nothing to renew its former impression.
+The shops at the sides of the bridge were closed, and the occasional
+stragglers of either sex who came along inspired Shamus, little as
+he knew of a great city, with aversion rather than with dread. In
+the quietness and security of his present position, Shamus was both
+courageous and weak enough again to summon up his dream.
+
+"Come," he said, "since I AM on Lunnon Bridge, I 'll walk over
+every stone of it, and see what good that will do."
+
+He valiantly gained the far end. Here one house, of all that stood
+upon the bridge, began to be opened; it was a public-house, and, by
+a sidelong glance as he passed, Shamus thought that, in the person
+of a red-cheeked, red-nosed, sunken-eyed, elderly man, who took
+down the window-shutters, he recognised the proprietor. This person
+looked at Shamus, in return, with peculiar scrutiny. The wanderer
+liked neither his regards nor the expression of his countenance,
+and quickened his steps onward until he cleared the bridge.
+
+"But I 'll walk it over at the other side now," he bethought, after
+allowing the publican time to finish opening his house and retire
+out of view.
+
+But, repassing the house, the man still appeared, leaning against
+his door-jamb, and as if waiting for Shamus's return, whom, upon
+this second occasion, he eyed more attentively than before.
+
+"Sorrow's in him," thought Shamus, "have I two heads on me, that
+I'm such a sight to him? But who cares about his pair of ferret
+eyes? I 'll thrudge down the middle stone of it, at any rate!"
+
+Accordingly, he again walked toward the public-house, keeping the
+middle of the bridge.
+
+"Good-morrow, friend," said the publican, as Shamus a third time
+passed his door.
+
+"Sarvant kindly, sir," answered Shamus, respectfully pulling down
+the brim of his hat, and increasing his pace.
+
+"Am early hour you choose for a morning walk," continued his new
+acquaintance.
+
+"Brave and early, faix, sir," said Shamus, still hurrying off.
+
+"Stop a bit," resumed the publican. Shamus stood still. "I see
+you're a countryman of mine --an Irishman; I'd know one of you at
+a look, though I'm a long time out of the country. And you're not
+very well off on London Bridge this morning, either."
+
+"No, indeed, sir," replied Shamus, beginning to doubt his skill in
+physiognomy, at the stranger's kind address; "but as badly off as
+a body 'ud wish to be."
+
+"Come over to look for the work?"
+
+"Nien, sir; but come out this morning to beg a ha'-penny, to send
+me a bit of the road home."
+
+"Well, here's a silver sixpence without asking. And you'd better
+sit on the bench by the door here, and eat a crust and a cut of
+cheese, and drink a drop of good ale, to break your fast."
+
+With profuse thanks Shamus accepted this kind invitation, blaming
+himself at heart for having allowed his opinion of the charitable
+publican to be guided by the expression of the man's features.
+"Handsome is that handsome does," was Shamus's self-correcting
+reflection.
+
+While eating his bread and cheese and drinking his strong ale,
+they conversed freely together, and Shamus's heart opened more and
+more to his benefactor. The publican repeatedly asked him what had
+brought him to London; and though, half out of prudence and half
+out of shame, the dreamer at first evaded the question, he felt it
+at last impossible to refuse a candid answer to his generous friend.
+
+"Why, then, sir, only I am such a big fool for telling it to you,
+it's what brought me to Lunnon Bridge was a quare dhrame I had at
+home in Ireland, that tould me just to come here, and I'd find a
+pot of goold." For such was the interpretation given by Shamus to
+the vague admonition of his visionary counsellor.
+
+His companion burst into a loud laugh, saying after it:
+
+"Pho, pho, man, don't be so silly as to put faith in nonsensical
+dreams of that kind. Many a one like it I have had, if I would bother
+my head with them. Why, within the last ten days, while you were
+dreaming of finding a pot of gold on London Bridge, I was dreaming
+of finding a pot of gold in Ireland."
+
+"Ullaloo, and were you, sir?" asked Shamus, laying down his empty
+pint.
+
+"Ay, indeed; night after night an old friar with a pale face, and
+dressed all in white and black, and a black skull-cap on his head,
+came to me in a dream, and bid me go to Ireland, to a certain spot
+in a certain county that I know very well, and under the slab of
+his tomb, that has a cross and some old Romish letters on it, in
+an old abbey I often saw before now, I'd find a treasure that would
+make me a rich man all the days of my life."
+
+"Musha, sir," asked Shamus, scarce able prudently to control his
+agitation," and did he tell you that the treasure lay buried there
+ever so long under the open sky and the ould walls?"
+
+"No; but he told me I was to find the slab covered in by a shed
+that a poor man had lately built inside the abbey for himself and
+his family."
+
+"Whoo, by the powers!" shouted Shamus, at last thrown off his guard
+by the surpassing joy derived from this intelligence, as well as by
+the effects of the ale; and at the same time he jumped up, cutting
+a caper with his legs, and flourishing his shillalah.
+
+"Why, what's the matter with you?" asked his friend, glancing at
+him a frowning and misgiving look.
+
+"We ax pardon, sir." Shamus rallied his prudence. "An', sure,
+sorrow a thing is the matter wid me, only the dhrop, I believe,
+made me do it, as it ever and always does, good luck to it for the
+same. An' isn't what we were spaking about the biggest raumaush
+[Footnote: Nonsense.] undher the sun, sir? Only it's the laste bit
+in the world quare to me how you'd have the dhrame about your own
+country, that you didn't see for so many years, sir--for twenty
+long years, I think you said, sir?" Shamus had now a new object in
+putting his sly question.
+
+"If I said so, I forgot," answered the publican, his suspicions
+of Shamus at an end. "But it is about twenty years, indeed, since
+I left Ireland."
+
+"And by your speech, sir, and your dacency, I 'll engage you were
+in a good way in the poor place afore you left it?"
+
+"You guess correctly, friend." (The publican gave way to vanity.)
+"Before misfortunes came over me, I possessed, along with a good
+hundred acres besides, the very ground that the old ruin I saw in
+the foolish dream I told you stands upon."
+
+"An' so did my curse-o'-God's uncle," thought Shamus, his heart's
+blood beginning to boil, though, with a great effort, he kept
+himself seemingly cool. "And this is the man fornent me, if he
+answers another word I 'll ax him. Faix, sir, and sure that makes
+your dhrame quarer than ever; and the ground the ould abbey is on,
+sir, and the good acres round it, did you say they lay somewhere
+in the poor county myself came from?"
+
+"What county is that, friend?" demanded the publican, again with
+a studious frown.
+
+"The ould County Monaghan, sure, sir," replied Shamus, very
+deliberately.
+
+"No, but the county of Clare," answered his companion.
+
+"Was it?" screamed Shamus, again springing up. The cherished hatred
+of twenty years imprudently bursting out, his uncle lay stretched
+at his feet, after a renewed flourish of his cudgel. "And do you
+know who you are telling it to this morning? Did you ever hear
+that the sisther you kilt left a bit of a gorsoon behind her, that
+one day or other might overhear you? Ay," he continued, keeping down
+the struggling man, "IT IS poor Shamus Dempsey that's kneeling by
+you; ay, and that has more to tell you. The shed built over the old
+friar's tombstone was built by the hands you feel on your throttle,
+and that tombstone is his hearthstone; and," continued Shamus,
+beginning to bind the prostrate man with a rope snatched from
+a bench near them, "while you lie here awhile, an' no one to help
+you, in the cool of the morning, I'll just take a start of you on
+the road home, to lift the flag and get the threasure; and follow
+me if you dare! You know there's good money bid for your head in
+Ireland--so here goes. Yes, faith, and wid this-THIS to help me on
+the way!" He snatched up a heavy purse which had fallen from his
+uncle's pocket in the struggle. "And sure, there's neither hurt nor
+harm in getting back a little of a body's own from you. A bright
+goodmorning, uncle dear!"
+
+Shamus dragged his manacled relative into the shop, quickly shut to
+and locked the door, flung the key over the house into the Thames,
+and the next instant was running at headlong speed.
+
+He was not so deficient in the calculations of common sense as to
+think himself yet out of his uncle's power. It appeared, indeed,
+pretty certain that, neither for the violence done to his person
+nor for the purse appropriated by his nephew, the outlawed murderer
+would raise a hue and cry after one who, aware of his identity,
+could deliver him up to the laws of his country. But Shamus felt
+certain that it would be a race between him and his uncle for the
+treasure that lay under the friar's tombstone. His simple nature
+supplied no stronger motive for a pursuit on the part of a man whose
+life now lay in the breath of his mouth. Full of his conviction,
+however, Shamus saw he had not a moment to lose until the roof of
+his shed in the old abbey again sheltered him. So, freely making use
+of his uncle's guineas, he purchased a strong horse in the outskirts
+of London, and, to the surprise if not under heavy suspicions of
+the vender, set off at a gallop upon the road by which he had the
+day before gained the great metropolis.
+
+A ship was ready to sail at Bristol for Ireland; but, to Shamus's
+discomfiture, she waited for a wind. He got aboard, however, and in
+the darksome and squalid hold often knelt down, and, with clasped
+hands and panting breast, petitioned Heaven for a favourable breeze.
+But from morning until evening the wind remained as he had found
+it, and Shamus despaired. His uncle, meantime, might have reached
+some other port, and embarked for their country. In the depth
+of his anguish he heard a brisk bustle upon deck, clambered up
+to investigate its cause, and found the ship's sails already half
+unfurled to a wind that promised to bear him to his native shores
+by the next morning. The last light of day yet lingered in the
+heavens; he glanced, now under way, to the quay of Bristol. A group
+who had been watching the departure of the vessel turned round to
+note the approach to them of a man, who ran furiously toward the
+place where they stood, pointing after her, and evidently speaking
+with vehemence, although no words reached Shamus's ear. Neither
+was his eye sure of this person's features, but his heart read them
+distinctly. A boat shot from the quay; the man stood up in it, and
+its rowers made a signal.
+
+Shamus stepped to the gangway, as if preparing to hurl his pursuer
+into the sea. The captain took a speaking-trumpet, and informing
+the boat that he could not stop an instant, advised her to wait
+for another merchantman, which would sail in an hour. And during
+and after his speech his vessel ploughed cheerily on, making as
+much way as she was adapted to accomplish.
+
+Shamus's bosom felt lightened of its immediate terror, but not
+freed of apprehension for the future. The ship that was to sail
+in an hour haunted his thoughts; he did not leave the deck, and,
+although the night proved very dark, his anxious eyes were never turned
+from the English coast. Unusual fatigue and want of sleep now and
+then overpowered him, and his senses swam in a wild and snatching
+slumber; but from this he would start, crying out and clinging to
+the cordage, as the feverish dream of an instant presented him with
+the swelling canvas of a fast-sailing ship, which came, suddenly
+bursting through the gloom of midnight, alongside of his own. Morning
+dawned, really to unveil to him the object of his fears following
+almost in the wake of her rival. He glanced in the opposite direction,
+and beheld the shores of Ireland; in another hour he jumped upon
+them; but his enemy's face watched him from the deck of the companion
+vessel, now not more than a few ropes' lengths distant.
+
+Shamus mounted a second good horse, and spurred toward home. Often
+did he look back, but without seeing any cause for increased alarm.
+As yet, however, the road had been level and winding, and therefore
+could not allow him to span much of it at a glance. After noon it
+ascended a high and lengthened hill surrounded by wastes of bog.
+As he gained the summit of this hill, and again looked back, a
+horseman appeared, sweeping to its foot. Shamus galloped at full
+speed down the now quickly falling road; then along its level
+continuation for about a mile; and then up another eminence, more
+lengthened, though not so steep as the former; and from it still he
+looked back, and caught the figure of the horseman breaking over
+the line of the hill he had passed. For hours such was the character
+of the chase, until the road narrowed and began to wind amid an
+uncultivated and uninhabited mountain wilderness. Here Shamus's
+horse tripped and fell; the rider, little injured, assisted him
+to his legs, and, with lash and spur, re-urged him to pursue his
+course. The animal went forward in a last effort, and for still
+another span of time well befriended his rider. A rocky valley,
+through which both had been galloping, now opened at its farther
+end, presenting to Shamus's eye, in the distance, the sloping ground,
+and the ruin which, with its mouldering walls, encircled his poor
+home; and the setting sun streamed golden rays through the windows
+and rents of the old abbey.
+
+The fugitive gave a weak cry of joy, and lashed his beast again.
+The cry seemed to be answered by a shout; and a second time, after
+a wild plunge, the horse fell, now throwing Shamus off with a force
+that left him stunned. And yet he heard the hoofs of another horse
+come thundering down the rocky way; and, while he made a faint
+effort to rise on his hands and look at his pursuer, the horse and
+horseman were very near, and the voice of his uncle cried, "Stand!"
+at the same time that the speaker fired a pistol, of which the ball
+struck a stone at Shamus's foot. The next moment his uncle, having
+left his saddle, stood over him, presenting a second pistol, and
+he spoke in a low but distinct voice.
+
+"Spawn of a beggar! This is not merely for the chance of riches
+given by our dreams, though it seems, in the teeth of all I ever
+thought, that the devil tells truth at last. No, nor it is not
+quite for the blow; but it IS to close the lips that, with a single
+word, can kill me. You die to let me live!"
+
+"Help!" aspirated Shamus's heart, turning itself to Heaven. "Help
+me but now, not for the sake of the goold either, but for the sake
+of them that will be left on the wild world widout me; for them
+help me, great God!"
+
+Hitherto his weakness and confusion had left him passive. Before
+his uncle spoke the last words, his silent prayer was offered, and
+Shamus had jumped upon his assailant. They struggled and dragged
+each other down. Shamus felt the muzzle of the pistol at his breast;
+heard it snap--but only snap; he seized and mastered it, and once
+more the uncle was at the mercy of his nephew. Shamus's hand was
+raised to deal a good blow; but he checked himself, and addressed
+the almost senseless ears of his captive.
+
+"No; you're my mother's blood, and a son of hers will never draw
+it from your heart; but I can make sure of you again; stop a bit."
+
+He ran to his own prostrate horse, took off its bridle and its
+saddle-girth, and with both secured his uncle's limbs beyond all
+possibility of the struggler being able to escape from their control.
+
+"There," resumed Shamus; "lie there till we have time to send an
+ould friend to see you, that, I'll go bail, will take good care of
+your four bones. And do you know where I'm going now? You tould
+me, on Lunnon Bridge, that you knew THAT, at least," pointing to
+the abbey; "ay, and the quare ould hearthstone that's to be found
+in it. And so, look at this, uncle, honey." He vaulted upon his
+relative's horse. "I'm just goin' to lift it off o' the barrel-pot
+full of good ould goold, and you have only to cry halves, and
+you'll get it, as, sure as that the big divil is in the town you
+came from."
+
+Nance Dempsey was nursing her new-born babe, sitting up in her
+straw, and doing very well after her late illness, when old Noreen
+tottered in from the front of the ruin to tell her that "the body
+they were just speaking about was driving up the hill mad, like as
+if't was his own sperit in great throuble." And the listener had
+not recovered from her surprise when Shamus ran into the shed, flung
+himself, kneeling, by her side, caught her in his arms, then seized
+her infant, covered it with kisses, and then, roughly throwing it
+in her lap, turned to the fireplace, raised one of the rocky seats
+lying near it, poised the ponderous mass over the hearthstone, and
+shivered into pieces, with one crash, that solid barrier between
+him and his visionary world of wealth.
+
+"It's cracked he is out an' out of a certainty," said Nance, looking
+terrified at her husband.
+
+"Nothing else am I," shouted Shamus, after groping under the broken
+slab; "an', for a token, get along wid yourself out of this, ould
+gran!"
+
+He started up and seized her by the shoulder. Noreen remonstrated.
+He stooped for a stone; she ran; he pursued her to the arches of
+the ruin. She stopped half-way down the descent. He pelted her with
+clods to the bottom, and along a good piece of her road homeward,
+and then danced back into his wife's presence.
+
+"Now, Nance," he cried, "now that we're by ourselves, what noise
+is this like?"
+
+"And he took out han'fuls after han'fuls of the ould goold afore
+her face, my dear," added the original narrator of this story.
+
+"An' after the gaugers and their crony, Ould Nick, ran off wid the
+uncle of him, Nance and he and the childer lived together in their
+father's and mother's house; and if they didn't live and die happy,
+I wish that you and I may."
+
+
+
+
+
+
+NEAL MALONE
+
+BY WILLIAM CARLETON
+
+
+
+
+
+There never was a greater-souled or doughtier tailor than little
+Neal Malone. Though but four feet four in height, he paced the
+earth with the courage and confidence of a giant; nay, one would
+have imagined that he walked as if he feared the world itself
+was about to give way under him. Let no one dare to say in future
+that a tailor is but the ninth part of a man. That reproach has
+been gloriously taken away from the character of the cross-legged
+corporation by Neal Malone. He has wiped it off like a stain from
+the collar of a secondhand coat; he has pressed this wrinkle out of
+the lying front of antiquity; he has drawn together this rent in the
+respectability of his profession. No. By him who was breeches-maker
+to the gods,--that is, except, like Highlanders, they eschewed
+inexpressibles,--by him who cut Jupiter's frieze jocks for winter,
+and eke by the bottom of his thimble, we swear that Neal Malone
+was MORE than the ninth part of a man.
+
+Setting aside the Patagonians, we maintain that two thirds of mortal
+humanity were comprised in Neal; and perhaps we might venture to
+assert that two thirds of Neal's humanity were equal to six thirds
+of another man's. It is right well known that Alexander the Great
+was a little man, and we doubt whether, had Alexander the Great
+been bred to the tailoring business, he would have exhibited so
+much of the hero as Neal Malone. Neal was descended from a fighting
+family, who had signalised themselves in as many battles as ever
+any single hero of antiquity fought. His father, his grandfather,
+and his great-grandfather were all fighting men, and his ancestors
+in general, up, probably, to Con of the Hundred Battles himself.
+No wonder, therefore, that Neal's blood should cry out against the
+cowardice of his calling; no wonder that he should be an epitome
+of all that was valorous and heroic in a peaceable man, for we
+neglected to inform the reader that Neal, though "bearing no base
+mind," never fought any man in his own person. That, however,
+deducted nothing from his courage. If he did not fight it was simply
+because he found cowardice universal. No man would engage him; his
+spirit blazed in vain; his thirst for battle was doomed to remain
+unquenched, except by whisky, and this only increased it. In
+short, he could find no foe. He has often been known to challenge
+the first cudgel-players and pugilists of the parish, to provoke
+men of fourteenstone weight, and to bid mortal defiance to faction
+heroes of all grades-but in vain. There was that in him which
+told them that an encounter with Neal would strip them of their
+laurels. Neal saw all this with a lofty indignation; he deplored
+the degeneracy of the times, and thought it hard that the descendant
+of such a fighting family should be doomed to pass through life
+peaceably, whilst so many excellent rows and riots took place around
+him. It was a calamity to see every man's head broken but his own;
+a dismal thing to observe his neighbours go about with their bones
+in bandages, yet his untouched, and his friends beat black and
+blue, whilst his own cuticle remained unscoloured.
+
+"Blur an' agers!" exclaimed Neal one day, when half tipsy in the
+fair, "am I never to get a bit o' figtin'? Is there no cowardly
+spalpeen to stand afore Neal Malone? Be this an' be that, I'm
+blue-mowlded for want of a batin'! I'm disgracin' my relations
+by the life I'm ladin'! Will none o' ye fight me aither for love,
+money, or whisky, frind or inimy, an' bad luck to ye? I don't care
+a traneen which, only out o' pure frindship, let us have a morsel
+o' the rale kick-up,'t any rate. Frind or inimy, I say agin, if you
+regard me; sore THAT makes no differ, only let us have the fight."
+
+This excellent heroism was all wasted; Neal could not find a single
+adversary. Except he divided himself like Hotspur, and went to
+buffets one hand against the other, there was no chance of a fight;
+no person to be found sufficiently magnanimous to encounter the
+tailor. On the contrary, every one of his friends--or, in other
+words, every man in the parish--was ready to support him. He was
+clapped on the back until his bones were nearly dislocated in his
+body, and his hand shaken until his arm lost its cunning at the
+needle for half a week afterward. This, to be sure, was a bitter
+business, a state of being past endurance. Every man was his
+friend--no man was his enemy. A desperate position for any person
+to find himself in, but doubly calamitous to a martial tailor.
+
+Many a dolourous complaint did Neal make upon the misfortune of
+having none to wish him ill; and what rendered this hardship doubly
+oppressive was the unlucky fact that no exertions of his, however
+offensive, could procure him a single foe. In vain did he insult,
+abuse, and malign all his acquaintances. In vain did he father
+upon them all the rascality and villainy he could think of; he
+lied against them with a force and originality that would have made
+many a modern novelist blush for want of invention--but all to no
+purpose. The world for once became astonishingly Christian; it paid
+back all his efforts to excite its resentment with the purest of
+charity; when Neal struck it on the one cheek, it meekly turned
+unto him the other. It could scarcely be expected that Neal would
+bear this. To have the whole world in friendship with a man is
+beyond doubt an affliction. Not to have the face of a single enemy
+to look upon would decidedly be considered a deprivation of many
+agreeable sensations by most people as well as by Neal Malone. Let
+who might sustain a loss or experience a calamity, it was a matter
+of indifference to Neal. They were only his friends, and he troubled
+neither his head nor his heart about them.
+
+Heaven help us! There is no man without his trials; and Neal, the
+reader perceives, was not exempt from his. What did it avail him
+that he carried a cudgel ready for all hostile contingencies, or
+knit his brows and shook his kippeen at the fiercest of his fighting
+friends? The moment he appeared they softened into downright cordiality.
+His presence was the signal of peace; for, notwithstanding his
+unconquerable propensity to warfare, he went abroad as the genius
+of unanimity, though carrying in his bosom the redoubtable disposition
+of a warrior; just as the sun, though the source of light himself,
+is said to be dark enough at bottom.
+
+It could not be expected that Neal, with whatever fortitude he
+might bear his other afflictions, could bear such tranquillity like
+a hero. To say that he bore it as one would be basely to surrender
+his character; for what hero ever bore a state of tranquillity
+with courage? It affected his cutting out! It produced what Burton
+calls "a windie melancholie," which was nothing else than an
+accumulation of courage that had no means of escaping, if courage
+can, without indignity, be ever said to escape. He sat uneasy on
+his lap-board. Instead of cutting out soberly, he flourished his
+scissors as if he were heading a faction; he wasted much chalk by
+scoring his cloth in wrong places, and even caught his hot goose
+without a holder. These symptoms alarmed his friends, who persuaded
+him to go to a doctor. Neal went to satisfy them; but he knew that
+no prescription could drive the courage out of him, that he was
+too far gone in heroism to be made a coward of by apothecary stuff.
+Nothing in the pharmacopoeia could physic him into a pacific state.
+His disease was simply the want of an enemy, and an unaccountable
+superabundance of friendship on the part of his acquaintances.
+How could a doctor remedy this by a prescription? Impossible. The
+doctor, indeed, recommended blood-letting; but to lose blood in a
+peaceable manner was not only cowardly, but a bad cure for courage.
+Neal declined it: he would lose no blood for any man until he could
+not help it; which was giving the character of a hero at a single
+touch. HIS blood was not to be thrown away in this manner; the
+only lancet ever applied to his relations was the cudgel, and Neal
+scorned to abandon the principles of his family.
+
+His friends, finding that he reserved his blood for more heroic
+purposes than dastardly phlebotomy, knew not what to do with him.
+His perpetual exclamation was, as we have already stated, "I'm
+blue-mowlded for want of a batin'!" They did everything in their
+power to cheer him with the hope of a drubbing; told him he lived
+in an excellent country for a man afflicted with his malady; and
+promised, if it were at all possible, to create him a private enemy
+or two, who, they hoped in heaven, might trounce him to some purpose.
+
+This sustained him for a while; but as day after day passed and
+no appearance of action presented itself, he could not choose but
+increase in courage. His soul, like a sword-blade too long in the
+scabbard, was beginning to get fuliginous by inactivity. He looked
+upon the point of his own needle and the bright edge of his scissors
+with a bitter pang when he thought of the spirit rusting within
+him; he meditated fresh insults, studied new plans, and hunted out
+cunning devices for provoking his acquaintances to battle, until
+by degrees he began to confound his own brain and to commit more
+grievous oversights in his business than ever. Sometimes he sent home
+to one person a coat with the legs of a pair of trousers attached
+to it for sleeves, and despatched to another the arms of the aforesaid
+coat tacked together as a pair of trousers. Sometimes the coat was
+made to button behind instead of before; and he frequently placed
+the pockets in the lower part of the skirts, as if he had been in
+league with cutpurses.
+
+This was a melancholy situation, and his friends pitied him
+accordingly.
+
+"Don't be cast down, Neal," said they; "your friends feel for you,
+poor fellow."
+
+"Divil carry my frinds," replied Neal; "sure, there's not one o'
+yez frindly enough to be my inimy. Tare an' ouns! what'll I do?
+I'm blue-mowlded for want of a batin'!"
+
+Seeing that their consolation was thrown away upon him, they resolved
+to leave him to his fate; which they had no sooner done then Neal
+had thoughts of taking to the Skiomachia as a last remedy. In this
+mood he looked with considerable antipathy at his own shadow for
+several nights; and it is not to be questioned but that some hard
+battles would have taken place between them had it not been for
+the cunning of the shadow, which declined to fight him in any other
+position than with its back to the wall. This occasioned him to
+pause, for the wall was a fearful antagonist, inasmuch as it knew
+not when it was beaten; but there was still an alternative left.
+He went to the garden one clear day about noon, and hoped to have
+a bout with the shade free from interruption. Both approached,
+apparently eager for the combat and resolved to conquer or die,
+when a villainous cloud, happening to intercept the light, gave
+the shadow an opportunity of disappearing, and Neal found himself
+once more without an opponent.
+
+"It's aisy known," said Neal, "you haven't the BLOOD in you, or
+you'd come to the scratch like a man."
+
+He now saw that fate was against him, and that any further hostility
+toward the shadow was only a tempting of Providence. He lost his
+health, spirits, and everything but his courage. His countenance
+became pale and peaceful-looking; the bluster departed from him;
+his body shrank up like a withered parsnip. Thrice was he compelled
+to take in his clothes, and thrice did he ascertain that much of his
+time would be necessarily spent in pursuing his retreating person
+through the solitude of his almost deserted garments.
+
+God knows it is difficult to form a correct opinion upon a situation
+so parodoxical as Neal's was. To be reduced to skin and bone by
+the downright friendship of the world was, as the sagacious reader
+will admit, next to a miracle. We appeal to the conscience of any
+man who finds himself without an enemy whether he be not a greater
+skeleton than the tailor; we will give him fifty guineas provided he
+can show a calf to his leg. We know he could not; for the tailor
+had none, and that was because he had not an enemy. No man in
+friendship with the world ever has calves to his legs. To sum up
+all in a parodox of our own invention, for which we claim the full
+credit of originality, we now assert that more men have risen in the
+world by the injury of their enemies than have risen by the kindness
+of their friends. You may take this, reader, in any sense; apply it
+to hanging if you like; it is still immutably and immovably true.
+
+One day Neal sat cross-legged, as tailors usually sit, in the act
+of pressing a pair of breeches; his hands were placed, backs up,
+upon the handle of his goose, and his chin rested upon the backs
+of his hands. To judge from his sorrowful complexion, one would
+suppose that he sat rather to be sketched as a picture of misery or
+of heroism in distress than for the industrious purpose of pressing
+the seams of a garment. There was a great deal of New Burlington
+Street pathos in his countenance; his face, like the times, was
+rather out of joint; "the sun was just setting, and his golden
+beams fell, with a saddened splendor, athwart the tailor's--" The
+reader may fill up the picture.
+
+In this position sat Neal when Mr. O'Connor, the schoolmaster,
+whose inexpressibles he was turning for the third time, entered
+the workshop. Mr. O'Connor himself was as finished a picture of
+misery as the tailor. There was a patient, subdued kind of expression
+in his face which indicated a very fair portion of calamity; his
+eye seemed charged with affliction of the first water; on each side
+of his nose might be traced two dry channels, which, no doubt, were
+full enough while the tropical rains of his countenance lasted.
+Altogether, to conclude from appearances, it was a dead match in
+affliction between him and the tailor; both seemed sad, fleshless,
+and unthriving.
+
+"Misther O'Connor," said the tailor, when the schoolmaster entered,
+"won't you be pleased to sit down?"
+
+Mr. O'Connor sat; and, after wiping his forehead, laid his hat
+upon the lap-board, put his half-handkerchief in his pocket, and
+looked upon the tailor. The tailor, in return, looked upon Mr.
+O'Connor; but neither of them spoke for some minutes. Neal, in fact,
+appeared to be wrapped up in his own misery, and Mr. O'Connor in
+his; or, as we often have much gratuitous sympathy for the distresses
+of our friends, we question but the tailor was wrapped up in Mr.
+O'Connor's misery, and Mr. O'Connor in the tailor's.
+
+Mr. O'Connor at length said: "Neal, are my inexpressibles finished?"
+
+"I am now pressin' your inexpressibles," replied Neal; "but, be my
+sowl, Mr. O'Connor, it's not your inexpressibles I'm thinkin' of.
+I'm not the ninth part o' what I was. I'd hardly make paddin' for
+a collar now."
+
+"Are you able to carry a staff still, Neal?"
+
+"I've a light hazel one that's handy," said the tailor, "but where's
+the use o' carryin' it whin I can get no one to fight wid? Sure,
+I'm disgracin' my relations by the life I'm ladin'. I 'll go to
+my grave widout ever batin' a man or bein' bate myself; that's the
+vexation. Divil the row ever I was able to kick up in my life; so
+that I'm fairly blue-mowlded for want of a batin'. But if you have
+patience--"
+
+"Patience!" said Mr. O'Connor, with a shake of the head that was
+perfectly disastrous even to look at,--"patience, did you say,
+Neal?"
+
+"Ay," said Neal, "an' be my sowl, if you deny that I said patience
+I 'll break your head!"
+
+"Ah, Neal," returned the other, "I don't deny it; for, though I'm
+teaching philosophy, knowledge, and mathematics every day in my
+life, yet I'm learning patience myself both night and day. No,
+Neal; I have forgotten to deny anything. I have not been guilty of
+a contradiction, out of my own school, for the last fourteen years.
+I once expressed the shadow of a doubt about twelve years ago, but
+ever since I have abandoned even doubting. That doubt was the last
+expiring effort at maintaining my domestic authority--but I suffered
+for it."
+
+"Well," said Neal, "if you have patience, I 'll tell you what
+afflicts me from beginnin' to endin'."
+
+"I WILL have patience," said Mr. O'Connor; and he accordingly heard
+a dismal and indignant tale from the tailor.
+
+"You have told me that fifty times over," said Mr. O'Connor, after
+hearing the story. "Your spirit is too martial for a pacific life.
+If you follow my advice, I will teach you how to ripple the calm current
+of your existence to some purpose. MARRY A WIFE. For twenty-five
+years I have given instruction in three branches, namely, philosophy,
+knowledge, and mathematics. I am also well versed in matrimony,
+and I declare that, upon my misery and by the contents of all my
+afflictions, it is my solemn and melancholy opinion that, if you marry
+a wife, you will, before three months pass over your concatenated
+state, not have a single complaint to make touching a superabundance
+of peace or tranquillity or a love of fighting."
+
+"Do you mane to say that any woman would make me afeard?" said
+the tailor, deliberately rising up and getting his cudgel. "I 'll
+thank you merely to go over the words agin, till I thrasy you widin
+an inch of your life. That's all"
+
+"Neal," said the schoolmaster, meekly, "I won't fight; I have been
+too often subdued ever to presume on the hope of a single victory.
+My spirit is long since evaporated; I am like one of your own
+shreds, a mere selvage. Do you not know how much my habiliments
+have shrunk in even within the last five years? Hear me, Neal, and
+venerate my words as if they proceeded from the lips of a prophet.
+If you wish to taste the luxury of being subdued--if you are, as
+you say, blue-moulded for want of a beating, and sick at heart of
+a peaceful existence--why, marry a wife. Neal, send my breeches
+home with all haste, for they are wanted, you understand. Farewell."
+
+Mr. O'Connor, having thus expressed himself, departed; and Neal
+stood, with the cudgel in his hand, looking at the door out of
+which he passed, with an expression of fierceness, contempt, and
+reflection strongly blended on the ruins of his once heroic visage.
+
+Many a man has happiness within his reach if he but knew it.
+The tailor had been hitherto miserable because he pursued a wrong
+object. The schoolmaster, however, suggested a train of thought
+upon which Neal now fastened with all the ardour of a chivalrous
+temperament. Nay, be wondered that the family spirit should have
+so completely seized upon the fighting side of his heart as to
+preclude all thoughts of matrimony; for he could not but remember
+that his relations were as ready for marriage as for fighting. To
+doubt this would have been to throw a blot upon his own escutcheon.
+He therefore very prudently asked himself to whom, if he did not
+marry, should he transmit his courage. He was a single man, and,
+dying as such, he would be the sole depository of his own valor,
+which, like Junius's secret, must perish with him. If he could have
+left it as a legacy to such of his friends as were most remarkable
+for cowardice, why, the case would be altered: but this was impossible,
+and he had now no other means of preserving it to posterity than
+by creating a posterity to inherit it. He saw, too, that the world
+was likely to become convulsed. Wars, as everybody knew, were
+certain to break out; and would it not be an excellent opportunity
+for being father to a colonel, or perhaps a general, that might
+astonish the world?
+
+The change visible in Neal after the schoolmaster's last visit
+absolutely thunderstruck all who knew him. The clothes which he
+had rashly taken in to fit his shrivelled limbs were once more let
+out. The tailor expanded with a new spirit; his joints ceased to
+be supple, as in the days of his valor; his eye became less fiery
+but more brilliant. From being martial, he got desperately gallant;
+but, somehow, he could not afford to act the hero and lover both
+at the same time. This, perhaps, would be too much to expect from
+a tailor. His policy was better. He resolved to bring all his
+available energy to bear upon the charms of whatever fair nymph he
+should select for the honour of matrimony; to waste his spirit in
+fighting would, therefore, be a deduction from the single purpose
+in view.
+
+The transition from war to love is by no means so remarkable as we
+might at first imagine. We quote Jack Falstaff in proof of this;
+or, if the reader be disposed to reject our authority, then we
+quote Ancient Pistol himself--both of whom we consider as the most
+finished specimens of heroism that ever carried a safe skin. Acres
+would have been a hero had he worn gloves to prevent the courage
+from oozing out at his palms, or not felt such an unlucky antipathy
+to the "snug lying in the Abbey"; and as for Captain Bobadil, he
+never had an opportunity of putting his plan for vanquishing an
+army into practice. We fear, indeed, that neither his character
+nor Ben Jonson's knowledge of human nature is properly understood;
+for it certainly could not be expected that a man whose spirit
+glowed to encounter a whole host could, without tarnishing his
+dignity, if closely pressed, condescend to fight an individual.
+But as these remarks on courage may be felt by the reader as an
+invidious introduction of a subject disagreeable to him, we beg
+to hush it for the present and return to the tailor.
+
+No sooner had Neal begun to feel an inclination to matrimony than
+his friends knew that his principles had veered by the change now
+visible in his person and deportment. They saw he had ratted from
+courage and joined love. Heretofore his life had been all winter,
+darkened by storm and hurricane. The fiercer virtues had played
+the devil with him; every word was thunder, every look lightning;
+but now all that had passed away. Before he was the FORTITER IN RE;
+at present he was the SUAVITER IN MODO. His existence was perfect
+spring, beautifully vernal. All the amiable and softer qualities
+began to bud about his heart; a genial warmth was diffused over
+him; his soul got green within him; every day was serene, and if
+a cloud happened to become visible, there was a roguish rainbow
+astride of it, on which sat a beautiful Iris that laughed down at
+him and seemed to say, "Why the dickens, Neal, don't you marry a
+wife?"
+
+Neal could not resist the afflatus which decended on him; an
+ethereal light dwelled, he thought, upon the face of nature; the
+colour of the cloth which he cut out from day to day was, to his
+enraptured eye, like the colour of Cupid's wings--all purple; his
+visions were worth their weight in gold; his dreams a credit to
+the bed he slept on; and his feelings, like blind puppies, young
+and alive to the milk of love and kindness which they drew from his
+heart. Most of this delight escaped the observation of the world,
+for Neal, like your true lover, became shy and mysterious. It is
+difficult to say what he resembled; no dark lantern ever had more
+light shut up within itself than Neal had in his soul, although
+his friends were not aware of it. They knew, indeed, that he had
+turned his back upon valor; but beyond this their knowledge did
+not extend.
+
+Neal was shrewd enough to know that what he felt must be love;
+nothing else could distend him with happiness until his soul felt
+light and bladderlike but love. As an oyster opens when expecting
+the tide, so did his soul expand at the contemplation of matrimony.
+Labour ceased to be a trouble to him; he sang and sewed from morning
+till night; his hot goose no longer burned him, for his heart was
+as hot as his goose; the vibrations of his head, at each successive
+stitch, were no longer sad and melancholy. There was a buoyant
+shake of exultation in them which showed that his soul was placid
+and happy within him.
+
+Endless honour be to Neal Malone for the originality with which
+he managed the tender sentiment! He did not, like your commonplace
+lovers, first discover a pretty girl and afterward become enamoured
+of her. No such thing; he had the passion prepared beforehand--cut
+out and made up, as it were, ready for any girl whom it might fit.
+This was falling in love in the abstract, and let no man condemn
+it without a trial, for many a long-winded argument could be urged
+in its defence. It is always wrong to commence business without
+capital, and Neal had a good stock to begin with. All we beg is
+that the reader will not confound it with Platonism, which never
+marries; but he is at full liberty to call it Socratism, which
+takes unto itself a wife and suffers accordingly.
+
+Let no one suppose that Neal forgot the schoolmaster's kindness,
+or failed to be duly grateful for it. Mr. O'Connor was the first
+person whom he consulted touching his passion. With a cheerful
+soul he waited on that melancholy and gentleman-like man, and in
+the very luxury of his heart told him that he was in love.
+
+"In love, Neal!" said the schoolmaster. "May I inquire with whom?"
+
+"Wid nobody in particular yet," replied Neal; "but o' late I'm got
+divilish fond o' the girls in general."
+
+"And do you call that being in love, Neal?" said Mr. O'Connor.
+
+"Why, what else would I call it?" returned the tailor. "Am n't I
+fond o' them?"
+
+"Then it must be what is termed the 'universal passion,' Neal,"
+observed Mr. O'Connor, "although it is the first time I have seen
+such an illustration of it as you present in your own person."
+
+"I wish you would advise me how to act," said Neal; "I'm as happy as
+a prince since I began to get fond o' them an' to think o' marriage."
+
+The schoolmaster shook his head again, and looked rather miserable.
+Neal rubbed his hands with glee, and looked perfectly happy. The
+schoolmaster shook his head again, and looked more miserable than
+before. Neal's happiness also increased on the second rubbing.
+
+Now, to tell the secret at once, Mr. O'Connor would not have appeared
+so miserable were it not for Neal's happiness; nor Neal so happy
+were it not for Mr. O'Connor's misery. It was all the result of
+contrast; but this you will not understand unless you be deeply
+read in modern novels.
+
+Mr. O'Connor, however, was a man of sense, who knew, upon this
+principle, that the longer he continued to shake his head the more
+miserable he must become, and the more also would he increase Neal's
+happiness; but he had no intention of increasing Neal's happiness
+at his own expense--for, upon the same hypothesis, it would have
+been for Neal's interest had he remained shaking his head there
+and getting miserable until the day of judgment. He consequently
+declined giving the third shake, for he thought that plain
+conversation was, after all, more significant and forcible than
+the most eloquent nod, however ably translated.
+
+"Neal," said he, "could you, by stretching your imagination, contrive
+to rest contented with nursing your passion in solitude, and love
+the sex at a distance?"
+
+"How could I nurse and mind my business?" replied the tailor. "I'll
+never nurse so long as I'll have the wife; and as for 'magination,
+it depends upon the grain o'it whether I can stretch it or not. I
+don't know that I ever made a coat o'it in my life."
+
+"You don't understand me, Neal," said the schoolmaster. "In recommending
+marriage, I was only driving one evil out of you by introducing
+another. Do you think that, if you abandoned all thoughts of a wife,
+you would get heroic again--that is, would you take once more to
+the love of fighting?"
+
+"There is no doubt but I would," said the tailor; "if I miss the
+wife, I'll kick up such a dust as never was seen in the parish, an'
+you're the first man that I'll lick. But now that I'm in love," he
+continued, "sure, I ought to look out for the wife."
+
+"Ah, Neal," said the schoolmaster, "you are tempting destiny; your
+temerity be, with all its melancholy consequences, upon your own
+head."
+
+"Come," said the tailor; "it wasn't to hear you groaning to the
+tune o' 'Dhrimmindhoo,' or 'The old woman rockin' her cradle,' that
+I came; but to know if you could help me in makin' out the wife.
+That's the discoorse."
+
+"Look at me, Neal," said the schoolmaster, solemnly. "I am at this
+moment, and have been any time for the last fifteen years, a living
+CAVETO against matrimony. I do not think that earth possesses such
+a luxury as a single solitary life. Neal, the monks of old were
+happy men; they were all fat and had double chins; and, Neal, I
+tell you that all fat men are in general happy. Care cannot come
+at them so readily as at a thin man; before it gets through the
+strong outworks of flesh and blood with which they are surrounded,
+it becomes treacherous to its original purpose, joins the cheerful
+spirits it meets in the system, and dances about the heart in all
+the madness of mirth; just like a sincere ecclesiastic who comes to
+lecture a good fellow against drinking, but who forgets his lecture
+over his cups, and is laid under the table with such success that
+he either never comes to finish his lecture, or comes often to be
+laid under the table. Look at me, Neal, how wasted, fleshless, and
+miserable I am. You know how my garments have shrunk in, and what
+a solid man I was before marriage. Neal, pause, I beseech you;
+otherwise you stand a strong chance of becoming a nonentity like
+myself."
+
+"I don't care what I become," said the tailor; "I can't think
+that you'd be so unreasonable as to expect that any o' the Malones
+should pass out o' the world widout either bein' bate or marrid.
+Have reason, Mr. O'Connor, an' if you can help me to the wife I
+promise to take in your coat the next time for nothin'."
+
+"Well, then," said Mr. O'Connor, "what would you think of the
+butcher's daughter, Biddy Neil? You have always had a thirst for
+blood, and here you may have it gratified in an innocent manner,
+should you ever become sanguinary again. 'T is true, Neal, she is
+twice your size and possesses three times your strength; but for
+that very reason, Neal, marry her if you can. Large animals are
+placid; and Heaven preserve those bachelors whom I wish well from
+a small wife; 't is such who always wield the sceptre of domestic
+life and rule their husbands with a rod of iron."
+
+"Say no more, Mr. O'Connor," replied the tailor; "she's the very
+girl I'm in love wid, an' never fear but I'll overcome her heart
+if it can be done by man. Now, step over the way to my house, an'
+we'll have a sup on the head o' it. Who's that calling?"
+
+"Ah, Neal, I know the tones--there's a shrillness in them not to
+be mistaken. Farewell! I must depart; you have heard the proverb,
+'Those who are bound must obey.' Young Jack, I presume, is squalling,
+and I must either nurse him, rock the cradle, or sing comic tunes
+for him, though Heaven knows with what a disastrous heart I often
+sing, 'Begone, dull care,' the 'Rakes of Newcastle,' or, 'Peas upon
+a Trencher.' Neal, I say again, pause before you take this leap in
+the dark. Pause, Neal, I entreat you. Farewell!"
+
+Neal, however, was gifted with the heart of an Irishman, and scorned
+caution as the characteristic of a coward; he had, as it appeared,
+abandoned all design of fighting, but the courage still adhered to
+him even in making love. He consequently conducted the siege of
+Biddy Neil's heart with a degree of skill and valor which would not
+have come amiss to Marshal Gerald at the siege of Antwerp. Locke
+or Dugald Stewart, indeed, had they been cognisant of the tailor's
+triumph, might have illustrated the principle on which he succeeded;
+as to ourselves, we can only conjecture it. Our own opinion is
+that they were both animated with a congenial spirit. Biddy was the
+very pink of pugnacity, and could throw in a body-blow or plant a
+facer with singular energy and science. Her prowess hitherto had,
+we confess, been displayed only within the limited range of domestic
+life; but should she ever find it necessary to exercise it upon a
+larger scale, there was no doubt whatsoever, in the opinion of her
+mother, brothers, and sisters, every one of whom she had successively
+subdued, that she must undoubtedly distinguish herself. There was
+certainly one difficulty which the tailor had NOT to encounter in
+the progress of fats courtship: the field was his own, he had not
+a rival to dispute his claim. Neither was there any opposition
+given by her friends; they were, on the contrary, all anxious for
+the match; and when the arrangements were concluded, Neal felt
+his hand squeezed by them in succession, with an expression more
+resembling condolence than joy. Neal, however, had been bred to
+tailoring, and not to metaphysics; he could cut out a coat very
+well, but we do not say that he could trace a principle --as what
+tailor, except Jeremy Taylor, could?
+
+There was nothing particular in the wedding. Mr. O'Connor was
+asked by Neal to be present at it; but he shook his head, and told
+him that he had not courage to attend it or inclination to witness
+any man's sorrows but his own. He met the wedding-party by accident,
+and was heard to exclaim with a sigh as they flaunted past him in
+gay exuberance of spirits: "Ah, poor Neal! he is going like one of
+her father's cattle to the shambles! Woe is me for having suggested
+matrimony to the taylor! He will not long be under the necessity
+of saying that he is 'blue-moulded for want of a beating.' The
+butcheress will fell him like a Kerry ox, and I may have his blood
+to answer for and his discomfiture to feel for in addition to my
+own miseries."
+
+On the evening of the wedding-day, about the hour of ten o'clock,
+Neal, whose spirits were uncommonly exalted, for his heart
+luxuriated within him, danced with his bridesmaid; after the dance
+he sat beside her, and got eloquent in praise of her beauty; and
+it is said, too, that he whispered to her and chucked her chin with
+considerable gallantry. The tte--tte continued for some time
+without exciting particular attention, with one exception; but THAT
+exception was worth a whole chapter of general rules. Mrs. Malone
+rose up, then sat down again and took off a glass of the native;
+she got up a second time; all the wife rushed upon her heart. She
+approached them, and, in a fit of the most exquisite sensibility,
+knocked the bridesmaid down, and gave the tailor a kick of affecting
+pathos upon the inexpressibles. The whole scene was a touching
+one on both sides. The tailor was sent on all-fours to the floor,
+but Mrs. Malone took him quietly up, put him under her arm as one
+would a lap-dog, and with stately step marched away to the connubial
+apartment, in which everything remained very quiet for the rest of
+the night.
+
+The next morning Mr. O'Connor presented himself to congratulate
+the tailor on his happiness. Neal, as his friend, shook hands with
+him, gave the schoolmaster's fingers a slight squeeze, such as a
+man gives who would gently entreat your sympathy. The schoolmaster
+looked at him, and thought he shook his head. Of this, however, he
+could not be certain; for, as he shook his own during the moment
+of observation, he concluded that it might be a mere mistake of the
+eye, or, perhaps, the result of a mind predisposed to be credulous
+on the subject of shaking heads.
+
+We wish it were in our power to draw a veil, or curtain, or blind
+of some description, over the remnant of the tailor's narrative that
+is to follow; but as it is the duty of every faithful historian to
+give the secret causes of appearances which the world in general
+does not understand, so we think it but honest to go on, impartially
+and faithfully, without shrinking from the responsibility that is
+frequently annexed to truth.
+
+For the first three days after matrimony Neal felt like a man who
+had been translated to a new and more lively state of existence.
+He had expected, and flattered himself, that the moment this
+event should take place he would once more resume his heroism, and
+experience the pleasure of a drubbing. This determination he kept
+a profound secret; nor was it known until a future period, when he
+disclosed it to Mr. O'Connor. He intended, therefore, that marriage
+should be nothing more than a mere parenthesis in his life--a kind
+of asterisk, pointing, in a note at the bottom, to this single
+exception in his general conduct--a nota bene to the spirit of a
+martial man, intimating that he had been peaceful only for a while.
+In truth, he was, during the influence of love over him and up to
+the very day of his marriage, secretly as blue-moulded as ever for
+want of a beating. The heroic penchant lay snugly latent in his
+heart, unchecked and unmodified. He flattered himself that he was
+achieving a capital imposition upon the world at large, that he was
+actually hoaxing mankind in general, and that such an excellent
+piece of knavish tranquillity had never been perpetrated before
+his time.
+
+On the first week after his marriage there chanced to be a fair
+in the next market-town. Neal, after breakfast, brought forward a
+bunch of shillalahs, in order to select the best; the wife inquired
+the purpose of the selection, and Neal declared that he was resolved
+to have a fight that day if it were to be had, he said, for "love
+or money." "The truth is," he exclaimed, strutting with fortitude
+about the house, "the truth is, that I've DONE the whole of yez--I'm
+as blue-mowlded as ever for want of a batin'."
+
+"Don't go," said the wife.
+
+"I WILL go," said Neal, with vehemence; "I 'll go if the whole
+parish was to go to prevint me."
+
+In about another half-hour Neal sat down quietly to his business
+instead of going to the fair!
+
+Much ingenious speculation might be indulged in upon this abrupt
+termination to the tailor's most formidable resolution; but, for
+our own part, we will prefer going on with the narrative, leaving
+the reader at liberty to solve the mystery as he pleases. In the
+meantime we say this much; let those who cannot make it out carry
+it to their tailor; it is a tailor's mystery, and no one has so
+good a right to understand it--except, perhaps, a tailor's wife.
+
+At the period of his matrimony Neal had become as plump and as stout
+as he ever was known to be in his plumpest and stoutest days. He
+and the schoolmaster had been very intimate about this time; but
+we know not how it happened that soon afterward he felt a modest,
+bride-like reluctance in meeting with that afflicted gentleman. As
+the eve of his union approached, he was in the habit, during the
+schoolmaster's visits to his workshop, of alluding, in rather a
+sarcastic tone, considering the unthriving appearance of his friend,
+to the increasing lustiness of his person. Nay, he has often leaped
+up from his lap-board, and, in the strong spirit of exultation,
+thrust out his leg in attestation of his assertion, slapping it,
+moreover, with a loud laugh of triumph that sounded like a knell
+to the happiness of his emaciated acquaintance. The schoolmaster's
+philosophy, however, unlike his flesh, never departed from him; his
+usual observation was, "Neal, we are both receding from the same
+point; you increase in flesh, whilst I, Heaven help me, am fast
+diminishing."
+
+The tailor received these remarks with very boisterous mirth, whilst
+Mr. O'Connor simply shook his head and looked sadly upon his limbs,
+now shrouded in a superfluity of garments, somewhat resembling a
+slender thread of water in a shallow summer stream nearly wasted
+away and surrounded by an unproportionate extent of channel.
+
+The fourth month after the marriage arrived, Neal, one day near
+its close, began to dress himself in his best apparel. Even then,
+when buttoning his waistcoat, he shook his head after the manner
+of Mr. O'Connor, and made observations upon the great extent to
+which it over-folded him.
+
+"Well," thought he with a sigh, "this waistcoat certainly DID fit
+me to a T; but it's wonderful to think how--cloth stretches!"
+
+"Neal," said the wife, on perceiving him dressed, "where are you
+bound for?"
+
+"Faith, FOR LIFE" replied Neal, with a mitigated swagger; "and I'd
+as soon, if it had been the will of Provid--"
+
+He paused.
+
+"Where are you going?" asked the wife a second time.
+
+"Why," he answered, "only to dance at Jemmy Connolly's; I 'll be
+back early."
+
+"Don't go," said the wife.
+
+"I'll go," said Neal, "if the whole counthry was to prevint me.
+Thunder an' lightnin', woman, who am I?" he exclaimed, in a loud,
+but rather infirm voice. "Am n't I Neal Malone, that never met a
+MAN who'd fight him? Neal Malone, that was never beat by MAN! Why,
+tare an' ouns, woman! Whoo! I'll get enraged some time, an' play
+the divil! Who's afeard, I say?"
+
+"DON'T GO," added the wife a third time, giving Neal a significant
+look in the face.
+
+In about another half-hour Neal sat down quietly to his business
+instead of going to the dance!
+
+Neal now turned himself, like many a sage in similar circumstances,
+to philosophy; that is to say, he began to shake his head upon
+principle, after the manner of the schoolmaster. He would, indeed,
+have preferred the bottle upon principle; but there was no getting
+at the bottle except through the wife, and it so happened that by
+the time it reached him there was little consolation left in it.
+Neal bore all in silence; for silence, his friend had often told
+him, was a proof of wisdom.
+
+Soon after this, Neal one evening met Mr. O'Connor by chance upon
+a plank which crossed a river. This plank was only a foot in breadth,
+so that no two individuals could pass each other upon it. We cannot
+find words in which to express the dismay of both on finding that
+they absolutely glided past each other without collision.
+
+Both paused and surveyed each other solemnly; but the astonishment
+was all on the side of Mr. O'Connor.
+
+"Neal," said the schoolmaster, "by all the household gods, I conjure
+you to speak, that I may be assured you live!"
+
+The ghost of a blush crossed the churchyard visage of the tailor.
+
+"Oh!" he exclaimed, "why the divil did you tempt me to marry a
+wife?"
+
+"Neal," said his friend, "answer me in the most solemn manner possible;
+throw into your countenance all the gravity you can assume; speak
+as if you were under the hands of the hangman, with the rope about
+your neck, for the question is indeed a trying one which I am about
+to put. Are you still 'blue-moulded for want of a beating'?"
+
+The tailor collected himself to make a reply; he put one leg
+out--the very leg which he used to show in triumph to his friend,
+but, alas, how dwindled! He opened his waistcoat and lapped it
+round him until he looked like a weasel on its hind legs. He then
+raised himself up on his tiptoes, and, in an awful whisper, replied,
+"No!!! the divil a bit I'm blue-mowlded for want of a batin'!"
+
+The schoolmaster shook his head in his own miserable manner; but,
+alas! he soon perceived that the tailor was as great an adept at
+shaking the head as himself. Nay, he saw that there was a calamitous
+refinement, a delicacy of shake in the tailor's vibrations, which
+gave to his own nod a very commonplace character.
+
+The next day the tailor took in his clothes; and from time to time
+continued to adjust them to the dimensions of his shrinking person.
+The schoolmaster and he, whenever they could steal a moment, met
+and sympathised together. Mr. O'Connor, however, bore up somewhat
+better than Neal. The latter was subdued in heart and in spirit,
+thoroughly, completely, and intensely vanquished. His features
+became sharpened by misery, for a termagant wife is the whetstone
+on which all the calamities of a henpecked husband are painted by
+the devil. He no longer strutted as he was wont to do, he no longer
+carried a cudgel as if he wished to wage a universal battle with
+mankind. He was now a married man. Sneakingly, and with a cowardly
+crawl, did he creep along, as if every step brought him nearer
+to the gallows. The schoolmaster's march of misery was far slower
+than Neal's, the latter distanced him. Before three years passed
+he had shrunk up so much that he could not walk abroad of a windy
+day without carrying weights in his pockets to keep him firm on the
+earth which he once trod with the step of a giant. He again sought
+the schoolmaster, with whom, indeed, he associated as much as
+possible. Here he felt certain of receiving sympathy; nor was he
+disappointed. That worthy but miserable man and Neal often retired
+beyond the hearing of their respective wives, and supported each
+other by every argument in their power. Often have they been heard
+in the dusk of evening singing behind a remote hedge that melancholy
+ditty, "Let us BOTH be unhappy together," which rose upon the
+twilight breeze with a cautious quaver of sorrow truly heartrending
+and lugubrious.
+
+"Neal," said Mr. O'Connor on one of those occasions, "here is a
+book which I recommend to your perusal; it is called 'The Afflicted
+Man's Companion'; try if you cannot glean some consolation out of
+it."
+
+"Faith," said Neal, "I'm forever oblaged to you, but I don't want
+it. I've had 'The Afflicted Man's Companion' too long, and not an
+atom o' consolation I can get out of it. I have ONE o' them, I tell
+you; but, be my sowl, I'll not undertake A PAIR o' them. The very
+name's enough for me." They then separated.
+
+The tailor's vis vitae must have been powerful or he would have
+died. In two years more his friends could not distinguish him from
+his own shadow, a circumstance which was of great inconvenience
+to him. Several grasped at the hand of the shadow instead of his;
+and one man was near paying it five and sixpence for making a
+pair of small-clothes. Neal, it is true, undeceived him with some
+trouble, but candidly admitted that he was not able to carry home
+the money. It was difficult, indeed, for the poor tailor to bear
+what he felt; it is true he bore it as long as he could; but at
+length he became suicidal, and often had thoughts of "making his
+own quietus with his bare bodkin." After many deliberations and
+afflictions, he ultimately made the attempt; but, alas! he found
+that the blood of the Malones refused to flow upon so ignominious
+an occasion. So HE solved the phenomenon; although the truth was
+that his blood was not "i' the vein" for it; none was to be had.
+What then was to be done? He resolved to get rid of life by some
+process, and the next that occurred to him was hanging. In a solemn
+spirit he prepared a selvage, and suspended himself from the rafter
+of his workshop. But here another disappointment awaited him, he
+would not hang. Such was his want of gravity that his own weight
+proved insufficient to occasion his death by mere suspension. His
+third attempt was at drowning; but he was too light to sink; all
+the elements, all his own energies, joined themselves, he thought,
+in a wicked conspiracy to save his life. Having thus tried every
+avenue to destruction, and failed in all, he felt like a man doomed
+to live forever. Henceforward he shrank and shrivelled by slow
+degrees, until in the course of time he became so attenuated that
+the grossness of human vision could no longer reach him.
+
+This, however, could not last always. Though still alive, he was
+to all intents and purposes imperceptible. He could only now be
+heard; he was reduced to a mere essence; the very echo of human
+existence, vox etpraeterea nihil. It is true the schoolmaster asserted
+that he occasionally caught passing glimpses of him; but that was
+because he had been himself nearly spiritualised by affliction,
+and his visual ray purged in the furnace of domestic tribulation.
+By-and-by Neal's voice lessened, got fainter and more indistinct,
+until at length nothing but a doubtful murmur could be heard, which
+ultimately could scarcely be distinguished from a ringing in the
+ears.
+
+Such was the awful and mysterious fate of the tailor, who,
+as a hero, could not, of course, die; he merely dissolved like an
+icicle, wasted into immateriality, and finally melted away beyond
+the perception of mortal sense. Mr. O'Connor is still living, and
+once more in the fulness of perfect health and strength. His wife,
+however, we may as well hint, has been dead more than two years.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+THE BANSHEE
+
+(ANONYMOUS)
+
+
+
+
+
+Of all the superstitions prevalent amongst the natives of Ireland
+at any period, past or present, there is none so grand or fanciful,
+none which has been so universally assented to or so cordially
+cherished, as the belief in the existence of the banshee. There
+are very few, however remotely acquainted with Irish life or Irish
+history, but must have heard or read of the Irish banshee; still,
+as there are different stories and different opinions afloat respecting
+this strange being, I think a little explanation concerning her
+appearance, functions, and habits will not be unacceptable to my
+readers.
+
+The banshee, then, is said to be an immaterial and immortal being,
+attached, time out of mind, to various respectable and ancient
+families in Ireland, and is said always to appear to announce, by
+cries and lamentations, the death of any member of that family to
+which she belongs. She always comes at night, a short time previous to
+the death of the fated one, and takes her stand outside, convenient
+to the house, and there utters the most plaintive cries and
+lamentations, generally in some unknown language, and in a tone
+of voice resembling a human female. She continues her visits night
+after night, unless vexed or annoyed, until the mourned object dies,
+and sometimes she is said to continue about the house for several
+nights after. Sometimes she is said to appear in the shape of a
+most beautiful young damsel, and dressed in the most elegant and
+fantastic garments; but her general appearance is in the likeness
+of a very old woman, of small stature and bending and decrepit form,
+enveloped in a winding-sheet or grave-dress, and her long, white,
+hoary hair waving over her shoulders and descending to her feet.
+At other times she is dressed in the costume of the middle ages--the
+different articles of her clothing being of the richest material
+and of a sable hue. She is very shy and easily irritated, and, when
+once annoyed or vexed, she flies away, and never returns during the
+same generation. When the death of the person whom she mourns is
+contingent, or to occur by unforeseen accident, she is particularly
+agitated and troubled in her appearance, and unusually loud
+and mournful in her lamentations. Some would fain have it that
+this strange being is actuated by a feeling quite inimical to the
+interests of the family which she haunts, and that she comes with joy
+and triumph to announce their misfortunes. This opinion, however,
+is rejected by most people, who imagine her their most devoted friend,
+and that she was, at some remote period, a member of the family,
+and once existed on the earth in life and loveliness. It is not
+every Irish family can claim the honour of an attendant banshee;
+they must be respectably descended, and of ancient line, to have
+any just pretensions to a warning spirit. However, she does not
+appear to be influenced by the difference of creed or clime, provided
+there be no other impediment, as several Protestant families of
+Norman and Anglo-Saxon origin boast of their own banshee; and to
+this hour several noble and distinguished families in the country
+feel proud of the surveillance of that mysterious being. Neither
+is she influenced by the circumstances of rank or fortune, as she
+is oftener found frequenting the cabin of the peasant than the
+baronial mansion of the lord of thousands. Even the humble family
+to which the writer of this tale belongs has long claimed the
+honourable appendage of a banshee; and it may, perhaps, excite an
+additional interest in my readers when I inform them that my present
+story is associated with her last visit to that family.
+
+Some years ago there dwelt in the vicinity of Mountrath, in the
+Queen's County, a farmer, whose name for obvious reasons we shall
+not at present disclose. He never was married, and his only domestics
+were a servant-boy and an old woman, a housekeeper, who had long
+been a follower or dependent of the family. He was born and educated
+in the Roman Catholic Church, but on arriving at manhood, for
+reasons best known to himself, he abjured the tenets of that creed
+and conformed to the doctrines of Protestantism. However, in after
+years he seemed to waver, and refused going to church, and by his
+manner of living seemed to favour the dogmas of infidelity or atheism.
+He was rather dark and reserved in his manner, and oftentimes sullen
+and gloomy in his temper; and this, joined with his well-known
+disregard of religion, served to render him somewhat unpopular
+amongst his neighbours and acquaintances. However, he was in general
+respected, and was never insulted or annoyed. He was considered
+as an honest, inoffensive man, and as he was well supplied with
+firearms and ammunition,--in the use of which he was well practised,
+having, in his early days, served several years in a yeomanry
+corps,--few liked to disturb him, even had they been so disposed.
+He was well educated, and decidedly hostile to every species of
+superstition, and was constantly jeering his old housekeeper, who
+was extremely superstitious, and pretended to be entirely conversant
+with every matter connected with witchcraft and the fairy world.
+He seldom darkened a neighbour's door, and scarcely ever asked any
+one to enter his, but generally spent his leisure hours in reading,
+of which he was extremely fond, or in furbishing his firearms, to
+which he was still more attached, or in listening to and laughing
+at the wild and blood-curdling stories of old Moya, with which her
+memory abounded. Thus he spent his time until the period at which
+our tale commences, when he was about fifty years of age, and old
+Moya, the housekeeper, had become extremely feeble, stooped, and
+of very ugly and forbidding exterior. One morning in the month of
+November, A.D. 1818, this man arose before daylight, and on coming
+out of the apartment where he slept he was surprised at finding old
+Moya in the kitchen, sitting over the raked-up fire, and smoking
+her tobacco-pipe in a very serious and meditative mood.
+
+"Arrah, Moya," said he, "what brings you out of your bed so early?"
+
+"Och musha, I dunna," replied the old woman; "I was so uneasy all
+night that I could not sleep a wink, and I got up to smoke a blast,
+thinkin' that it might drive away the weight that's on my heart."
+
+"And what ails you, Moya? Are you sick, or what came over you?"
+
+"No, the Lord be praised! I am not sick, but my heart is sore, and
+there's a load on my spirits that would kill a hundred."
+
+"Maybe you were dreaming, or something that way," said the man,
+in a bantering tone, and suspecting, from the old woman's grave
+manner, that she was labouring under some mental delusion.
+
+"Dreaming!" reechoed Moya, with a bitter sneer; "ay, dreaming.
+Och, I wish to God I was ONLY DREAMING; but I am very much afraid
+it is worse than that, and that there is trouble and misfortune
+hanging over uz."
+
+"And what makes you think so, Moya?" asked he, with a half-suppressed
+smile.
+
+Moya, aware of his well-known hostility to every species of
+superstition, remained silent, biting her lips and shaking her gray
+head prophetically.
+
+"Why don't you answer me, Moya?" again asked the man.
+
+"Och," said Moya, "I am heart-scalded to have it to tell you, and I
+know you will laugh at me; but, say what you will, there is something
+bad over uz, for the banshee was about the house all night, and
+she has me almost frightened out of my wits with her shouting and
+bawling."
+
+The man was aware of the banshee's having been long supposed to
+haunt his family, but often scouted that supposition; yet, as it
+was some years since he had last heard of her visiting the place,
+he was not prepared for the freezing announcement of old Moya.
+He turned as pale as a corpse, and trembled excessively; at last,
+recollecting himself, he said, with a forced smile:
+
+"And how do you know it was the banshee, Moya?"
+
+"How do I know?" reiterated Moya, tauntingly. "Didn't I see and
+hear her several times during the night? and more than that, didn't
+I hear the dead-coach rattling round the house, and through the
+yard, every night at midnight this week back, as if it would tear
+the house out of the foundation?"
+
+The man smiled faintly; he was frightened, yet was ashamed to appear
+so. He again said:
+
+"And did you ever see the banshee before, Moya?"
+
+"Yes," replied Moya, "often. Didn't I see her when your mother
+died? Didn't I see her when your brother was drowned? and sure,
+there wasn't one of the family that went these sixty years that I
+did not both see and hear her."
+
+"And where did you see her, and what way did she look to-night?"
+
+"I saw her at the little window over my bed; a kind of reddish light
+shone round the house; I looked up, and there I saw her old, pale
+face and glassy eyes looking in, and she rocking herself to and
+fro, and clapping her little, withered hands, and crying as if her
+very heart would break."
+
+"Well, Moya, it's all imagination; go, now, and prepare my breakfast,
+as I want to go to Maryborough to-day, and I must be home early."
+
+Moya trembled; she looked at him imploringly and said: "For Heaven's
+sake, John, don't go to-day; stay till some other day, and God
+bless you; for if you go to-day I would give my oath there will
+something cross you that's bad."
+
+"Nonsense, woman!" said he; "make haste and get me my breakfast."
+
+Moya, with tears in her eyes, set about getting the breakfast
+ready; and whilst she was so employed John was engaged in making
+preparations for his journey.
+
+Having now completed his other arrangements, he sat down to breakfast,
+and, having concluded it, he arose to depart.
+
+Moya ran to the door, crying loudly; she flung herself on her knees,
+and said: "John, John, be advised. Don't go to-day; take my advice;
+I know more of the world than you do, and I see plainly that if
+you go you will never enter this door again with your life."
+
+Ashamed to be influenced by the drivellings of an old cullough,
+he pushed her away with his hand, and, going out to the stable,
+mounted his horse and departed. Moya followed him with her eyes
+whilst in sight; and when she could no longer see him, she sat down
+at the fire and wept bitterly.
+
+It was a bitter cold day, and the farmer, having finished his
+business in town, feeling himself chilly, went into a public-house
+to have a tumbler of punch and feed his horse; there he met an old
+friend, who would not part with him until he would have another
+glass with him and a little conversation, as it was many years since
+they had met before. One glass brought another, and it was almost
+duskish ere John thought of returning, and, having nearly ten miles
+to travel, it would be dark night before he could get home. Still
+his friend would not permit him to go, but called for more liquor,
+and it was far advanced in the night before they parted. John,
+however, had a good horse, and, having had him well fed, he did not
+spare whip or spur, but dashed along at a rapid pace through the
+gloom and silence of the winter's night, and had already distanced
+the town upward of five miles, when, on arriving at a very desolate
+part of the road, a gunshot, fired from behind the bushes, put an
+end to his mortal existence. Two strange men, who had been at the
+same public-house in Maryborough drinking, observing that he had
+money and learning the road that he was to travel, conspired to
+rob and murder him, and waylaid him in this lonely spot for that
+horrid purpose.
+
+Poor Moya did not go to bed that night, but sat at the fire, every
+moment impatiently expecting his return. Often did she listen at
+the door to try if she could hear the tramp of the horse's footsteps
+approaching. But in vain; no sound met her ear except the sad
+wail of the night wind, moaning fitfully through the tall bushes
+which surrounded the ancient dwelling, or the sullen roar of a
+little dark river, which wound its way through the lowlands at a
+small distance from where she stood. Tired with watching, at length
+she fell asleep on the hearth-stone; but that sleep was disturbed
+and broken, and frightful and appalling dreams incessantly haunted
+her imagination.
+
+At length the darksome morning appeared struggling through the
+wintry clouds, and Moya again opened the door to look out. But
+what was her dismay when she found the horse standing at the stable
+door without his rider, and the saddle all besmeared with clotted
+blood. She raised the death-cry; the neighbours thronged round,
+and it was at once declared that the hapless man was robbed and
+murdered. A party on horseback immediately set forward to seek
+him, and on arriving at the fatal spot he was found stretched on
+his back in the ditch, his head perforated with shot and slugs,
+and his body literally immersed in a pool of blood. On examining
+him it was found that his money was gone, and a valuable gold
+watch and appendages abstracted from his pocket. His remains were
+conveyed home, and, after having been waked the customary time,
+were committed to the grave of his ancestors in the little green
+churchyard of the village.
+
+Having no legitimate children, the nearest heir to his property
+was a brother, a cabinet-maker, who resided in London. A letter
+was accordingly despatched to the brother announcing the sad
+catastrophe, and calling on him to come and take possession of the
+property; and two men were appointed to guard the place until he
+should arrive.
+
+The two men delegated to act as guardians, or, as they are technically
+termed, "keepers," were old friends and comrades of the deceased,
+and had served with him in the same yeomanry corps. Jack O'Malley
+was a Roman Catholic--a square, stout-built, and handsome fellow,
+with a pleasant word for every one, and full of that gaiety,
+vivacity, and nonchalance for which the Roman Catholic peasantry
+of Ireland are so particularly distinguished. He was now about
+forty-five years of age, sternly attached to the dogmas of his
+religion, and always remarkable for his revolutionary and anti-British
+principles. He was brave as a lion, and never quailed before a man;
+but, though caring so little for a LIVING man, he was extremely
+afraid of a DEAD one, and would go ten miles out of his road at
+night to avoid passing a "rath," or "haunted bush." Harry Taylor,
+on the other hand, was a staunch Protestant; a tall, genteel-looking
+man, of proud and imperious aspect, and full of reserve and hauteur--the
+natural consequence of a consciousness of political and religious
+ascendency and superiority of intelligence and education, which so
+conspicuously marked the demeanour of the Protestant peasantry of
+those days. Harry, too, loved his glass as well as Jack, but was
+of a more peaceful disposition, and as he was well educated and
+intelligent, he was utterly opposed to superstition, and laughed
+to scorn the mere idea of ghosts, goblins, and fairies. Thus Jack
+and Harry were diametrically opposed to each other in every point
+except their love of the cruiskeen, yet they never failed to seize
+every opportunity of being together; and, although they often blackened
+each other's eyes in their political and religious disputes, yet
+their quarrels were always amicably settled, and they never found
+themselves happy but in each other's society.
+
+It was now the sixth or seventh night that Jack and Harry, as usual,
+kept their lonely watch in the kitchen of the murdered man. A large
+turf fire blazed brightly on the hearth, and on a bed of straw
+in the ample chimney-corner was stretched old Moya in a profound
+sleep. On the hearthstone, between the two friends, stood a small
+oak table, on which was placed a large decanter of whisky, a jug
+of boiled water, and a bowl of sugar; and, as if to add an idea of
+security to that of comfort, on one end of the table were placed
+in saltier a formidable-looking blunderbuss and a brace of large
+brass pistols. Jack and his comrade perpetually renewed their
+acquaintance with the whisky-bottle, and laughed and chatted and
+recounted the adventures of their young days with as much hilarity as
+if the house which now witnessed their mirth never echoed to the
+cry of death or blood. In the course of conversation Jack mentioned
+the incident of the strange appearance of the banshee, and expressed
+a hope that she would not come that night to disturb their carouse.
+
+"Banshee the devil!" shouted Harry; "how superstitious you papists
+are! I would like to see the phiz of any man, dead or alive, who dare
+make his appearance here to-night." And, seizing the blunderbuss,
+and looking wickedly at Jack, he vociferated, "By Hercules, I would
+drive the contents of this through their sowls who dare annoy us."
+
+"Better for you to shoot your mother than fire at the banshee,
+anyhow," remarked Jack.
+
+"Psha!" said Harry, looking contemptuously at his companion. "I
+would think no more of riddling the old jade's hide than I would
+of throwing off this tumbler;" and, to suit the action to the word,
+he drained off another bumper of whisky-punch.
+
+"Jack," says Harry, "now that we are in such prime humour, will
+you give us a song?"
+
+"With all the veins of my heart," says Jack. "What will it be?"
+
+"Anything you please; your will must be my pleasure," answered
+Harry.
+
+Jack, after coughing and clearing his pipes, chanted forth, in a bold
+and musical voice, a rude rigmarole called "The Royal Blackbird,"
+which, although of no intrinsic merit, yet, as it expressed sentiments
+hostile to British connection and British government and favourable
+to the house of Stewart, was very popular amongst the Catholic
+peasantry of Ireland, whilst, on the contrary, it was looked upon
+by the Protestants as highly offensive and disloyal. Harry, however,
+wished his companion too well to oppose the song, and he quietly
+awaited its conclusion.
+
+"Bravo, Jack," said Harry, as soon as the song was ended; "that
+you may never lose your wind."
+
+"In the king's name now I board you for another song," says Jack.
+
+Harry, without hesitation, recognised his friend's right to demand
+a return, and he instantly trolled forth, in a deep, sweet, and
+sonorous voice, the following:
+
+SONG.
+
+
+"Ho, boys, I have a song divine!
+Come, let us now in concert join,
+And toast the bonny banks of Boyne--The Boyne of 'Glorious Memory.'
+
+"On Boyne's famed banks our fathers bled;
+Boyne's surges with their blood ran red;
+And from the Boyne our foemen fled--Intolerance, chains, and slavery.
+
+"Dark superstition's blood-stained sons
+Pressed on, but 'crack' went William's guns,
+And soon the gloomy monster runs--Fell, hydra-headed bigotry.
+
+"Then fill your glasses high and fair,
+Let shouts of triumph rend the air,
+Whilst Georgy fills the regal chair
+We'll never bow to Popery."
+
+
+Jack, whose countenance had, from the commencement of the song,
+indicated his aversion to the sentiments it expressed, now lost
+all patience at hearing his darling "Popery" impugned, and, seizing
+one of the pistols which lay on the table and whirling it over his
+comrade's head, swore vehemently that he would "fracture his skull
+if he did not instantly drop that blackguard Orange lampoon."
+
+"Aisy, avhic," said Harry, quietly pushing away the upraised arm;
+"I did not oppose your bit of treason awhile ago, and besides,
+the latter end of my song is more calculated to please you than to
+irritate your feelings."
+
+Jack seemed pacified, and Harry continued his strain.
+
+
+"And fill a bumper to the brim--
+A flowing one--and drink to him
+Who, let the world go sink or swim,
+Would arm for Britain's liberty.
+
+"No matter what may be his hue,
+Or black, or white, or green, or blue,
+Or Papist, Paynim, or Hindoo,
+We'll drink to him right cordially."
+
+
+Jack was so pleased with the friendly turn which the latter part
+of Harry's song took that he joyfully stretched out his hand, and
+even joined in chorus to the concluding stanza.
+
+The fire had now decayed on the hearth, the whisky-bottle was almost
+emptied, and the two sentinels, getting drowsy, put out the candle
+and laid down their heads to slumber. The song and the laugh and
+the jest were now hushed, and no sound was to be heard but the
+incessant "click, click," of the clock in the inner room and the
+deep, heavy breathing of old Moya in the chimney-corner.
+
+They had slept they knew not how long when the old hag awakened
+with a wild shriek. She jumped out of bed, and crouched between
+the men; they started up, and asked her what had happened.
+
+"Oh!" she exclaimed; "the banshee, the banshee! Lord have mercy on
+us! she is come again, and I never heard her so wild and outrageous
+before."
+
+Jack O'Malley readily believed old Moya's tale; so did Harry, but
+he thought it might be some one who was committing some depredation
+on the premises. They both listened attentively, but could hear
+nothing; they opened the kitchen door, but all was still; they
+looked abroad; it was a fine, calm night, and myriads of twinkling
+stars were burning in the deep-blue heavens. They proceeded around
+the yard and hay-yard; but all was calm and lonely, and no sound
+saluted their ears but the shrill barking of some neighbouring
+cur, or the sluggish murmuring of the little tortuous river in
+the distance. Satisfied that "all was right," they again went in,
+replenished the expiring fire, and sat down to finish whatever
+still remained in the whisky-bottle.
+
+They had not sat many minutes when a wild, unearthly cry was heard
+without.
+
+"The banshee again," said Moya, faintly. Jack O'Malley's soul
+sank within him; Harry started up and seized the blunderbuss; Jack
+caught his arm. "No, no, Harry, you shall not; sit down; there's
+no fear--nothing will happen us."
+
+Harry sat down, but still gripped the blunderbuss, and Jack lit
+his tobacco-pipe, whilst the old woman was on her knees, striking
+her breast, and repeating her prayers with great vehemence.
+
+The sad cry was again heard, louder and fiercer than before. It
+now seemed to proceed from the window, and again it appeared as
+if issuing from the door. At times it would seem as if coming from
+afar, whilst again it would appear as if coming down the chimney
+or springing from the ground beneath their feet. Sometimes the cry
+resembled the low, plaintive wail of a female in distress, and in
+a moment it was raised to a prolonged yell, loud and furious, and
+as if coming from a thousand throats; now the sound resembled a low,
+melancholy chant, and then was quickly changed to a loud, broken,
+demoniac laugh. It continued thus, with little intermission, for
+about a quarter of an hour, when it died away, and was succeeded
+by a heavy, creaking sound, as if of some large waggon, amidst
+which the loud tramp of horses' footsteps might be distinguished,
+accompanied with a strong, rushing wind. This strange noise
+proceeded round and round the house two or three times, then went
+down the lane which led to the road, and was heard no more. Jack
+O'Malley stood aghast, and Harry Taylor, with all his philosophy
+and scepticism, was astonished and frightened.
+
+"A dreadful night this, Moya," said Jack.
+
+"Yes," said she, "that is the dead-coach; I often heard it before,
+and have sometimes seen it."
+
+"Seen, did you say?" said Harry; "pray describe it."
+
+"Why," replied the old crone, "it's like any other coach, but twice
+as big, and hung over with black cloth, and a black coffin on the
+top of it, and drawn by headless black horses."
+
+"Heaven protect us!" ejaculated Jack.
+
+"It is very strange," remarked Harry.
+
+"But," continued Moya, "it always comes before the death of a
+person, and I wonder what brought it now, unless it came with the
+banshee."
+
+"Maybe it's coming for you," said Harry, with an arch yet subdued
+smile.
+
+"No, no," she said; "I am none of that family at all at all."
+
+A solemn silence now ensued for a few minutes, and they thought all
+was vanished, when again the dreadful cry struck heavily on their
+ears.
+
+"Open the door, Jack," said Harry, "and put out Hector."
+
+Hector was a large and very ferocious mastiff belonging to Jack
+O'Malley, and always accompanied him wherever he went.
+
+Jack opened the door and attempted to put out the dog, but the poor
+animal refused to go, and, as his master attempted to force him,
+howled in a loud and mournful tone.
+
+"You must go," said Harry, and he caught him in his arms and flung
+him over the half-door. The poor dog was scarcely on the ground when
+he was whirled aloft into the air by some invisible power, and he
+fell again to earth lifeless, and the pavement was besmeared with
+his entrails and blood.
+
+Harry now lost all patience, and again seizing his blunderbuss, he
+exclaimed: "Come, Jack, my boy, take your pistols and follow me;
+I have but one life to lose, and I will venture it to have a crack
+at this infernal demon."
+
+"I will follow you to death's doors," said Jack; "but I would not
+fire at the banshee for a million of worlds."
+
+Moya seized Harry by the skirts. "Don't go out," she cried; "let
+her alone while she lets you alone, for an hour's luck never shone
+on any one that ever molested the banshee."
+
+"Psha, woman!" said Harry, and he pushed away poor Moya contemptuously.
+
+The two men now sallied forth; the wild cry still continued, and
+it seemed to issue from amongst some stacks in the hay-yard behind
+the house. They went round and paused; again they heard the cry,
+and Harry elevated his blunderbuss.
+
+"Don't fire," said Jack.
+
+Harry replied not; he looked scornfully at Jack, then put his finger
+on the trigger, and--bang--away it exploded with a thundering sound.
+An extraordinary scream was now heard, ten times louder and more
+terrific than they heard before. Their hair stood erect on their
+heads, and huge, round drops of sweat ran down their faces in quick
+succession. A glare of reddish-blue fight shone around the stacks;
+the rumbling of the dead-coach was again heard coming; it drove up
+to the house, drawn by six headless sable horses, and the figure
+of a withered old hag, encircled with blue flame, was seen running
+nimbly across the hay-yard. She entered the ominous carriage,
+and it drove away with a horrible sound. It swept through the tall
+bushes which surrounded the house; and as it disappeared the old
+hag cast a thrilling scowl at the two men, and waved her fleshless
+arms at them vengefully. It was soon lost to sight; but the
+unearthly creaking of the wheels, the tramping of the horses, and
+the appalling cries of the banshee continued to assail their ears
+for a considerable time after all had vanished.
+
+The brave fellows now returned to the house; they again made fast
+the door, and reloaded their arms. Nothing, however, came to disturb
+them that night, nor from that time forward; and the arrival of
+the dead man's brother from London, in a few days after, relieved
+them from their irksome task.
+
+Old Moya did not live long after; she declined from that remarkable
+night, and her remains were decently interred in the churchyard
+adjoining the last earthly tenement of the loved family to which
+she had been so long and so faithfully attached.
+
+The insulted banshee has never since returned; and although several
+members of that family have since closed their mortal career,
+still the warning cry was never given; and it is supposed that the
+injured spirit will never visit her ancient haunts until every one
+of the existing generation shall have "slept with their fathers."
+
+Jack O'Malley and his friend Harry lived some years after. Their
+friendship still continued undiminished; like "Tam O'Shanter" and
+"Souter Johnny," they still continued to love each other like "a
+very brither"; and like that jovial pair, also, our two comrades
+were often "fou for weeks thegither," and often over their cruiskeen
+would they laugh at their strange adventure with the banshee. It
+is now, however, all over with them too; their race is
+run, and they are now "tenants of the tomb."
+
+
+
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, STORIES BY ENGLISH AUTHORS: IRELAND ***
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