diff options
| author | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-01-27 10:23:31 -0800 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-01-27 10:23:31 -0800 |
| commit | 34d18a199db297281e2e8e8bbb7b95d3f34f2e77 (patch) | |
| tree | 8cf9d4bff4c47bdf4ed774ca7b5fb40542c8a851 | |
| parent | 7b9a3e2cdc64bde1fe7d060d591b60a1c8ce0158 (diff) | |
| -rw-r--r-- | .gitattributes | 4 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | LICENSE.txt | 11 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | README.md | 2 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60255-0.txt | 5429 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60255-0.zip | bin | 75007 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60255-h.zip | bin | 513234 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60255-h/60255-h.htm | 5375 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60255-h/images/cover.jpg | bin | 78845 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60255-h/images/illus-027.jpg | bin | 89740 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60255-h/images/illus-100.jpg | bin | 89043 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60255-h/images/illus-119.jpg | bin | 79727 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/60255-h/images/illus-fpc.jpg | bin | 95940 -> 0 bytes |
12 files changed, 17 insertions, 10804 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d1895d6 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #60255 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60255) diff --git a/old/60255-0.txt b/old/60255-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 7603b6b..0000000 --- a/old/60255-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,5429 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook, Roy Blakeley's Funny-bone Hike, by Percy -Keese Fitzhugh, Illustrated by H. S. Barbour - - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - - -Title: Roy Blakeley's Funny-bone Hike - - -Author: Percy Keese Fitzhugh - - - -Release Date: September 7, 2019 [eBook #60255] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - - -***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROY BLAKELEY'S FUNNY-BONE HIKE*** - - -E-text prepared by Roger Frank and Sue Clark - - - -Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this - file which includes the original illustrations. - See 60255-h.htm or 60255-h.zip: - (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/60255/60255-h/60255-h.htm) - or - (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/60255/60255-h.zip) - - - - - -ROY BLAKELEY’S FUNNY-BONE HIKE - - -[Illustration: “OUT I WENT AGAIN WITH ALL OF THEM AFTER ME.”] - - -ROY BLAKELEY’S FUNNY-BONE HIKE - -by - -PERCY KEESE FITZHUGH - -Author of -Tom Slade, Boy Scout, -Tom Slade at Temple Camp, -Roy Blakeley, etc. - -Illustrated by H. S. Barbour - - - - - - -Published with the approval of -THE BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA - -Grosset & Dunlap -Publishers New York - -Made in the United States of America - -Copyright, 1923 -Grosset & Dunlap - - - - - CONTENTS - - I We Go - II We Start Back - III We Go South - IV We Go North - V We Keep on Going North - VI We Move Heaven and Earth - VII We Reach the Fickle Guide Post - VIII We Do a Good Turn - IX We Follow Our Leader - X We Retrace Our Steps - XI We Wait for the Boat - XII We Collect Toll - XIII We Are Marooned on a Desert Island - XIV We See a Sail - XV We Form a Resolve - XVI We Are Saved - XVII We Cook the Duck - XVIII We Meet a Friend - XIX We Eat - XX We Make a Promise - XXI We Keep Still - XXII We Hear a Voice - XXIII We Go to the Rescue - XXIV We Drop Dead—Almost - XXV We Prove It - XXVI We See a House - XXVII We Lose Our Bearings - XXVIII We Are Dead to the World - XXIX We Wake Up - XXX We Figure It Out - XXXI We Make a Bargain - XXXII We Become Bandits - XXXIII We Win - XXXIV We Start the Parade - XXXV We End Our Hike - XXXVI We Demobilize - Chapter the Last - - - - - ROY BLAKELEY’S FUNNY-BONE HIKE - - - - - CHAPTER I - - WE GO - - -This is going to be the craziest story I ever wrote. But anyway every -word of it is true—except a few small words. Even the punctuation is -true. But I have to admit the story is crazy. It’s the craziest story -ever written in this world or any other world. I don’t care how many -worlds there are. The name I call it by is the Funny-bone Hike, but I -should worry what you call it. - -When you study first aid you have to know all about the different bones -but the only bone I know anything about is my funny-bone. Anyway I don’t -care so much about first aid—I like lemonade better. - -But one thing, I’ve got the Safety First badge. To get that you have to -think up a safety device in your home. I thought of a safety pin. I’ve -got ten other merit badges, too. Next to laughing my specialty is -cooking. - -So now I’ll tell you about how all this crazy business started. It -happened accidentally on purpose. Our troop was up at Temple -Camp—that’s where we spend our summers. One morning six of us went down -to Catskill Landing in the bus to get some fish-hooks and jaw-breakers; -I’m crazy about those, I don’t mean fish-hooks. - -The six scouts that happened to be along were Bert Winton, (he belongs -out west) and Hervey Willetts, (gee whiz, he belongs everywhere I guess) -and Garry Everson (he lives down the Hudson) and Warde Hollister (he’s -in my patrol and my patrol is the Silver Foxes and they’re all crazier -than each other, those fellows) and Pee-wee Harris (he’s one of the -raving Ravens of our troop) and Roy Blakeley, that’s me, I mean I, -correct, be seated. I was named after my sister because she was named -before I was. I’m patrol leader of the Silver Foxes, but I’m not to -blame, because they were wished onto me. I’m more to be pitied than -blamed. - -Now it’s about ten miles from Temple Camp to Catskill Landing. And it’s -about three hundred and forty-eleven miles back from Catskill Landing to -Temple Camp. I bet you’ll say that isn’t possible and I know it isn’t -possible but it’s true just the same. - -So this is the way it is. The first chapter of this story tells how we -went to Catskill Landing and the next twenty or thirty chapters tell how -we got back to Temple Camp. You can stay in Catskill Landing if you want -to and not bother with the rest, I should worry. But the book includes -the round trip only it wasn’t so round; it was kind of square like a -circle and rectangular and right-angular and left angular, and every -which way. It was shaped like a lot of wire all tangled up. The way back -was so crooked that we met ourselves a lot of times going the other way. - -So if you want to you can call this story The Tangled Trail. But I like -the Funny-bone Hike better. Suit yourself. - - - - - CHAPTER II - - WE START BACK - - -The scout that was to blame for the whole thing was Hervey Willetts. -Believe me, that fellow ought to be kept in a cage. He belongs to a -patrol named the Reindeers but he ought to belong to the tomcats because -half the time nobody knows where he is. - -His scoutmaster says he wanders over the face of the earth but, believe -me, he wanders across the head of the earth and down the neck of the -earth; the face isn’t big enough for him. The scouts at camp call him -the wandering minstrel because he goes all over and he’s all the time -singing. It was just a streak of luck that we happened to have him with -us that day. He wears a funny little hat without any brim and with holes -cut in it so his thoughts can get out because they make him top-heavy -when he’s climbing trees. - -We were just starting to hike back from Catskill Landing when he said, -“Come on, let’s make it snappy.” - -“What do you mean, make it snappy?” I asked him. - -“Let’s put some ginger in it,” he said. - -“He means gingersnaps,” Pee-wee shouted; “let’s buy some.” - -“A voice from the Animal Cracker Patrol,” Warde Hollister said; “here’s -a couple of fish-hooks, and a package of tacks, eat those.” - -“Put some ginger in what?” I asked Hervey. “I’d just as soon fill it up -with ginger, only what?” - -“The hike back,” he said. “Let’s start something.” - -Already that fellow was suffering from remorse because he had sat -quietly for half an hour or so in the bus. - -I said, “If I knew of volcanoes or wild animals on the way back I’d lead -you to them, but the only wild animal I know of around here is the -mascot of the animal patrol.” - -“Let’s play Follow Your Leader,” Hervey said. - -“Not while we’re conscious,” Garry Everson spoke up; “not if you’re -going to be the leader. I have to be home by Christmas.” - -Bert Winton said, “I’m sorry, but school opens in a few weeks. Nothing -doing.” - -“I’ll follow you!” our little Animal Cracker shouted; “I don’t have to -be home Christmas. I don’t have to be home till my birthday and that -doesn’t come for four years because I was born in leap year.” - -“Now we know why you’re so slow growing up,” Warde said. - -“You’re a lot of tin horn sports!” Pee-wee shouted. - -“I’m game,” I said. “I’ll die for the cause if anybody else will.” - -Hervey said, “Listen.” Then he said, kind of sing-songy, so it made me -want to walk: - - Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows, - Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose; - Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes, - But follow your leader wherever he goes. - -Oh, boy, that started us off. We were like horses when they hear a brass -band. Hervey gave me a shove and said, “Go ahead, start off, you’re the -only patrol leader here, it’s up to you.” - -“It’s your game,” I said. - -“Go ahead, lead,” he began laughing, “and let’s keep it up till we get -to Temple Camp. It’s no fun if you flunk.” - -That was just like him, he didn’t care who led as long as he was moving. -That fellow goes off in the woods a lot by himself and he doesn’t care -anything about merit badges himself. He’s a funny kind of a scout but -he’s awful generous. He can’t keep still, that’s one thing about him. -Most scouts are always trying for things but all he cares about is -action—he eats it alive. - -So the first thing I knew I was marching along with the other fellows -behind me and they were all singing those verses and kind of marching in -step to them. Gee whiz, we couldn’t get those verses out of our heads. -It was awfully funny to hear Pee-wee shouting them. Even now it seems as -if I have to write them down and I guess there’ll have to be an -operation to get them out of my mind. I lie awake at night and say them. -If you once get those verses in your head, _good night_! Most all the -rest of that day we were singing them. I guess the people in Catskill -Landing thought we were a lot of lunatics. So now I’m going to write -those verses down again But you want to be careful not to let them get -you or you’ll come to be a raving maniac. If you do you can blame Hervey -Willetts. - - Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows, - Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose; - Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes, - But follow your leader wherever he goes. - - Don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows, - Don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose; - Your job is to follow and not to suppose, - And follow your leader wherever he goes. - - Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows. - Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it blows; - Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose, - But follow your leader wherever he goes! - - - - - CHAPTER III - - WE GO SOUTH - - -When we started that crazy game we were near the landing. Maybe it would -have been better if we had jumped into the Hudson. But instead of that I -started marching up toward the railroad station with all the fellows -after me, singing that song. - -I went leap frog over a barrel and the rest of them did the same, -singing, _Follow your leader wherever he goes_. All the while Pee-wee -stuck on the top of the barrel because his legs were so short, but as -long as he was the last one it didn’t make any difference. - -“Take a demerit,” I shouted back at him. “What do you think you are? A -statue?” - -“He looks like a barrel buoy,” Garry shouted. - -“Don’t look back, keep singing,” Hervey called to Garry. “Never mind -what’s behind you.” - -“Sure, think of the future,” Warde said. “And follow your leader -wherever he goes. - - Wherever he goes, - Wherever he goes, - Wherever he goes.” - -I went waltzing into a candy store, and picked up a five cent chocolate -bar and laid down a nickel and kept going in and out around the ice -cream tables. All the people in there started laughing. One girl spilled -a glass of root beer that she was drinking. All of us fellows had small -change, we never have any large change, so nothing happened to block the -parade. - -Out I went again with all of them after me, holding the chocolate bar in -my mouth. I took one bite of it and threw it in the trash can. I heard -Hervey do the same, then Bert, and I knew Garry and Warde could be -trusted. - -“Keep your eye on Pee-wee,” I said. - -“A scout isn’t supposed to waste anything,” the kid shouted, his mouth -full of chocolate. - -“None of that,” I shouted back. “How many bites did you take? Throw it -away!” - -“I took—I took one bite—in two sections,” the kid said. - -“Come on,” I shouted. - - Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows, - Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it blows; - Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose, - But follow your leader wherever he goes! - wherever he goes, - wherever he goes—— - -“Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose,” Warde said. - -I kept going round and round a baby carriage till we were all dizzy and -even the baby began to laugh. Then I went staggering in and out and over -a lot of trunks at the station, and crawled under an express wagon and -hopped on one leg along the platform. Everybody was screaming at us. We -were shouting those verses good and loud. - -There was an accommodation train standing at the station so we couldn’t -get across the tracks. Gee whiz, I don’t call that very accommodating. I -climbed up into the first car and started going back through the train, -all the fellows after me, singing those crazy verses like a lot of wild -Indians. The people in the cars stared at us. I dropped a cent in the -slot and got a paper drinking cup and took a drink of water and then -started carrying the cup full of water through the train. Along they -came after me carrying cups of water. - -All of a sudden, _kerflop_, the water spilled out on my face. That was -because the train had started. I guess it happened to the rest of them -because the people in the seats began to howl. - -“Never laugh at another’s misfortune,” I said. “You may get your own -faces washed some day.” - -“Hurry up,” Garry shouted. - -“What’s the difference?” Hervey said. - -Somebody shouted, “The next stop is Alsen.” - -“I hope it’s a good stop, we’ve had a good start, anyway,” Bert said. - -We might have got out at the end of the car, only it was a vestibule car -and all closed up. - -“Now you see what you did,” Pee-wee shouted. - -I said, “Don’t you care, you don’t have to get home for four years. We -ought to reach Alsen in about a year and a half.” - -“Hurry through to the next platform,” Garry said. - -I sprinted through the next car and there was an open platform there but -by that time the train was moving too fast for us to get off. Safety -first, that’s our motto. Crazy but safe. - -So then we had a meeting of the board of directors on the platform of -that car till a brakeman made us go inside. - -I said, “The plot grows thicker.” - -“You’re a fine kind of a leader,” Pee-wee said, very contemptible like, -I mean contemptuous. “What are we going to do now?” - -“Be thankful I didn’t lead you onto an airship,” I said; “we’re going to -Alsen, it’s a very nice place, houses and everything. Follow your leader -wherever he goes.” - -“We’re supposed to be headed for camp,” the kid said. - -“We’re on our way there,” I told him. “We’re going west in a southerly -direction.” - -“Alsen is only about three miles,” Bert said. - -“How do we know the engineer will see it when he gets there?” Garry -wanted to know. - -“Maybe he has a magnifying glass,” I said. “I hope there are some things -in Alsen.” - -“What kind of things?” Pee-wee wanted to know. - -“Things to do,” I told him. - -“Where are we going to end?” he shouted. - -“We’re not going to end,” I said. - -“Temple Camp is west from here,” he yelled at me, because the train was -making a lot of noise. - -“Do you blame me for that?” I asked him. “I didn’t invent the compass, -did I? If you’re not satisfied with where Temple Camp is you’d better -complain to Mr. Temple, he put it there.” - -“Oh, look at the big, high tree!” Hervey shouted. “Let’s climb up that -on our way back.” - -“Sure,” I said, “and jump off the top. You’d be going leap frog over the -Woolworth Building if you were leader. Be thankful you’ve got a -conservative leader.” - -“A what?” the kid yelled. Just then he went backward off the arm of the -seat plunk into a man’s lap. - -“Tickets,” the conductor shouted. - -I said, “Hey, mister, we’re on a funny-bone hike, and the train started -before we had a chance to get off. We have to go to Alsen. Do you know -if we can get ice cream cones there?” - -He just laughed and said he’d have to collect our fares. It only costs -ten cents from Catskill to Alsen. - -I said to the fellows, “Well, so long as the engineer’s going to be our -leader for a little while I’ll take a vacation.” - -So I sat down and began looking out of the window. - - - - - CHAPTER IV - - WE GO NORTH - - -Alsen is a tenderfoot village. It’s about as big as Pee-wee, only it’s -more quiet. Pee-wee’s size is like Alsen but his noise is like New York. - -The train stopped at Alsen and we got off. Right there was a train -standing at the station headed north. - -“Talk about luck,” Garry said. “I guess it was waiting for us.” - -I said, “I enjoyed my trip south.” - -“I was looking forward to hiking from here to camp,” Hervey said. - -“Believe me, it’s nearer from Catskill,” I told him. “A train can go a -long way in five minutes.” - -“A comet can go billions of miles in a second,” the Animal Patrol piped -up. - -“If I see a comet I’ll get on it,” I told him; “follow your leader.” - -“That’s one thing I never did; ride on a comet,” Hervey said. - -“It’s about the only thing you haven’t done,” I told him. “Come on, -follow your leader.” - -I went marching up into one of the cars; Pee-wee tripped on the step. - -“That’s a short trip to take,” Warde laughed at him. - -“That could happen to the smartest man in the world,” the kid said. - -“All right, here we go back again,” I said as we all tumbled into a -couple of seats. Then I started to sing that crazy stuff about the Duke -of Yorkshire: - - There was the Duke of Yorkshire, - He had ten thousand men; - He marched them up the hill, - And he marched them down again. - - And when they’re up, they’re up, - And when they’re down, they’re down; - And when they’re only half-way up, - They’re neither up nor down. - -“Alsen is a mighty nice place, what I saw of it,” Garry said. “I -couldn’t see it on account of the station. The happiest ten seconds of -my life were spent there.” - -I said, “I wish I could have spent a nickel there.” - -“Are you going to start for camp when we get to Catskill?” the kid -wanted to know. “I’m getting hungry.” - -“I thought you didn’t have to eat for four years, that’s what you said,” -I told him. - -“What are you talking about?” he yelled. - -I said, “When we get back to Catskill you’re going to follow your -gallant leader in an east westerly direction till we come to the—North -Pole, I mean the clothespole, outside the cooking shack at Temple Camp. -We’re going to reach the pole like Doctor Cook didn’t do. When I hang my -patrol scarf on the clothespole outside the cooking shack that’s a sign -our journey is over. From the West Shore Line to the clothesline, that’s -our motto.” - -“We’re starting,” Warde said. - -“Get your dimes ready,” Garry said. - -“I haven’t got anything smaller than a cent,” I told him. - -“You mean you haven’t got any sense,” Pee-wee shot at me. - -“I’m poor but dishonest,” I said. - -Just then I heard the door at the other end of the car slam shut and a -brakeman came through shouting, “Albany the first stop, the first stop -is Albany.” - -“G-o-o-d night!” I said. “The plot grows thicker.” - -“It’s petrified,” Warde said. - -“We’re lost, strayed or stolen,” Garry began laughing. - -We all made a dash for the platform, but it was too late. We were foiled -again. The train was going at about forty-eleven miles an hour. - -“Now what?” Pee-wee demanded, very dark and solemn like. - -“Answered in the affirmative,” I said; “we don’t.” - -“Don’t what?” he said. - -“Don’t care,” Hervey spoke up. “We can do some stunts in the State -Capital. We can jump over the seats in the Senate. Albany is only about -thirty miles away.” - -I said, “Posilutely; we can get back inside of four years and have a -couple of centuries to spare. Follow your leader wherever he goes. I may -jump over the governor’s head; they pass bills over his head. You learn -that in uncivil government.” - -“The more we start for camp the farther we get from it,” the kid said. - -“Correct the first time,” I said; “be thankful you’re not on a comet.” - -“What are we going to do?” he wanted to know. - -“Is it a riddle?” I asked him. - -“No, it isn’t a riddle!” he shot back at me. - -“Because if it is, it’s a good one,” I said. “It’s about the best one I -ever heard.” - -“I like the West Shore Railroad,” Hervey said; “it’s full of pep; it -goes scout pace.” - -“You wanted ginger in our trip back to camp,” I said, “and you’ve got -tabasco sauce. Gee whiz, you ought to be satisfied. We’ll go back to -camp by way of the island of Yap.” - -“You’re the leader,” Warde said. - - - - - CHAPTER V - - WE KEEP ON GOING NORTH - - -One thing I’ll say for Hervey Willetts and that is that wherever he goes -there is adventure. He carries it with him. He couldn’t just go on a -hike, that fellow couldn’t. He always has to start something. - -Garry said, “Well, things seem to be moving.” - -“Oh, they’re moving all right,” Bert said. - -Warde said, “There are only two directions left to go in.” - -“Have patience,” I told him; “we’ll try them all; there are four, east -and west and up and down.” - -“And in and out,” Warde said. - -“Sure,” I said, “that’s six. I wonder how much the fare to Albany -is—the round trip?” - -“It’s not so very round,” Pee-wee said. - -“It’s a kind of triangular circle,” I told him. “If we pay our fare both -ways we don’t get any dinner in Albany, we’ll have to walk back. And if -we don’t have some dinner we can’t walk. So there you are; take your -choice. It’s as clear as mud.” - -“You’ve got us into a nice fix,” the kid said. “I knew you were crazy -when you made us throw away those chocolate bars. The next thing you’ll -have us in jail.” - -“You should worry, you can eat the prison bars,” I told him. - -“Let’s see how much money we’ve got,” Bert said. - -I had about seventy-five cents and the cap of a fountain pen that I use -for a whistle. - -Pee-wee had fifty-two cents and a lot of junk; we had a little over -seven dollars altogether. It was lucky that was enough for our fare to -Albany. But we didn’t get much change. The conductor said the train went -to Albany without change—I guess that’s why we didn’t get much. - -“How can we hike back thirty miles to-day, tell me that?” the Animal -Cracker wanted to know. - -“That’s easy,” I said; “by doing two miles at a time, that makes -fifteen. Are you getting frightened?” - -“We don’t know where we’re going but we’re on our way,” Bert began -singing. - -“Maybe it won’t be so far back as it is there,” Garry said. - -“Sure, because it’s always shorter going south,” I told him. - -“Six of us ought to be able to earn seven dollars in Albany,” Warde -said. “And we can take an evening train down.” - -“I’m not going on any more trains,” Pee-wee yelled. “I’ve had enough of -trains. If we come back on a train it won’t stop till it gets to -Poughkeepsie, and then if we come up on another one it won’t stop till -it gets to Montreal. You don’t catch me getting on another train.” - -“Follow your leader,” I told him. “Follow your leader wherever he goes.” - -Everybody in the train was laughing at us, but what did we care? It -might have been worse, we might have been on the Erie. - -“We’ve got enough left to wire to camp, if the worst comes to the -worst,” Bert said. - -“It’ll have to be worse than that before _I’ll_ wire,” said Hervey. - -“I’ll say so,” I told him. “I’m not worrying, this train knows where -it’s going. If we forget to get out at Albany we’ll get out at Buffalo -and you can follow your leader across Lake Ontario. That used to be in -my geography.” - -“I guess it’s there yet,” Garry said. - -“Take a slap on the wrist for that,” I told him. - -“You all make me tired,” Pee-wee said, very disgruntled. - -“Well, you’re having a good rest,” I told him. “We’re on our way to -Temple Camp, don’t worry. We’re only taking a long cut. Our trail is -tied in a knot. We’ll get there when we get there—maybe a little -sooner. All you have to do is follow your leader wherever he goes.” - -“Absolutely, positively,” Warde said; “that’s understood.” - -“Even if he goes to sleep,” I said; “excuse me while I take a nap. I -expect to have a long walk this afternoon.” - -Just then the train began slowing down and the whistle started blowing -very loud and shrill. A brakeman with a red flag came hurrying through -the car. - -“I guess there must be a mosquito on the track,” Garry said. - -“Maybe the engineer’s going to pick some blackberries,” Warde said. - -All of a sudden—bang! the cars knocked against each other, the train -stopped so suddenly. The whistle blew three or four times very quick and -shrill. - -In about one second I was on my feet. “Follow your leader,” I shouted. -And through the aisle I went with the rest of them after me all singing -those crazy rhymes that stuck in our minds like glue. - - Don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows, - Don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose; - Your job is to follow and not to suppose. - And follow your leader wherever he goes. - - - - - CHAPTER VI - - WE MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH - - -You can bet we didn’t lose much time getting off the train. “Follow your -leader,” I said. - -Garry said, “We’re in luck; we’re only about six or seven miles north of -Catskill.” - -“You don’t call that luck, do you?” Hervey said. “Just when I was -counting on a nice trip to Albany.” - -“I suppose you’d like to make a mistake and get on an ocean steamer,” I -told him. - -“Mistakes?” the kid shouted. “You’re the one that made mistakes famous.” - -“Sure,” I said, “and you’re the one that put the wise crack in animal -crackers.” - -“The last syllable of a doughnut is named after you,” Pee-wee shouted. - -“Always thinking about doughnuts,” I said. “Look on the track, there’s a -friend of yours.” Right plunk across the track, about a couple of -hundred feet ahead of the train was a donkey hitched to a funny kind of -a wagon that was all machinery inside. - -“I guess it goes by clockwork,” I said. - -“It looks as if it doesn’t go at all,” Bert said. - -“It did us a good turn anyway,” I said; “it made the train stop.” - -Gee whiz, we had to laugh. The man that owned that outfit was an Italian -and he was yelling Italian at the donkey and trying to make him start. I -guess the donkey didn’t understand Italian. - -[Illustration: “I GUESS THE DONKEY DIDN’T UNDERSTAND ITALIAN.”] - -A lot of people got out of the train and stood around watching and the -engineer sat in his window looking as if he were very mad at the donkey. -But anyway the donkey didn’t care. When we got close enough we could see -that the wagon had emery wheels in it for grinding knives and scissors -and scythes and things like that and they went by a gas engine. - -The man was shouting, “Hey! Whater de mat? You go! Hey, whater de mat?” - -I said, “We ought to have someone who can translate Italian. Suppose you -shout at him, Pee-wee; if that doesn’t start him nothing will.” - -The man kept jerking the donkey’s bit, all excited, and shouting, “Hey -you, giddup, whater de mat?” - -Two or three passengers started pulling and jerking the donkey, and one -tried to push him, but it didn’t do any good. I felt mighty grateful to -that donkey. Anyway he had a will of his own, that’s one sure thing. -About a half a dozen passengers kept tugging at him but it didn’t do any -good. He just braced his legs and let them pull. - -I said, “Maybe if we hold some grass in front of him he’ll follow it.” -But that didn’t work; I guess he wasn’t hungry. - -Pretty soon Warde said, “I’ve got an idea; let’s move him with the gas -engine. That engine’s about six horse power; it ought to be stronger -than one donkey power.” - -“It’s an insulation!” Pee-wee shouted. - -“You mean an inspiration,” I told him. - -“Hey, giddup; hey you,” the Italian kept shouting, all the time hitting -the donkey with the whip. - -I said, “Nix on that, it doesn’t do any good. What’s the use of licking -a donkey when you’ve got a gas engine to move him with? You leave it to -us, we’ll move him.” - -The man said, “Mova de donk; hey boss, mova de donk!” - -“Sure,” I said, “we’ll move him; we go to the movies and we know all -about moving. Have you got some rope?” - -I don’t know where the rope came from; maybe it came from the train and -maybe it came from the wagon. Anyway we fastened it through one of the -holes in the fly-wheel and wound it a couple of times round the shaft. -Then we dragged the rope over to a tree on the edge of the woods, behind -the wagon and tied it there. Everybody was laughing and the Italian was -shouting, “Hey, maka de gas, boss! Pulla de donk!” - -We told him to start the engine and let it run very slowly. Goodnight! -Laugh? First there was a kind of straining and creaking, but we knew the -engine was fixed solid because it was bolted right through a heavy -engine bed to the floor of the wagon. The rope was so tight it looked as -if it would snap. Pretty soon the donkey began to feel the pulling -because he braced his hind legs; he looked awful funny. - -“I bet on the donkey,” somebody shouted. - -“I bet on the gas engine,” somebody else put in. - -Everybody was laughing and the Italian was all excited, waving his whip -in the air and running about shouting, “Hey, giva de gas! Pulla de -donk!” - -All of a sudden the donkey gave way and back he went after the wagon. He -kept trying to brace himself but it wasn’t any use; the little engine -went ck, ck, ck, ck, ck, ck, shaking and trembling, and back went the -donkey after the wagon, till the whole outfit was off the track. - -“He followed his leader all right,” Bert Winton shouted. - -“Come on,” I said, “we have no time to be wasting here, let’s thank the -donkey for the good turn he did us and then see if we can find out where -we’re at. We’re probably somewhere.” - -“Sure if we’re somewhere we ought to be able to get somewhere else,” -Garry said. - -“We don’t know which way to go,” Pee-wee said. - -“We’ll go every which way,” I said, “and then we’ll be sure to strike -the right way. One direction is just as good as another if not better. -Come on, follow your leader.” - -So off we marched into the woods singing: - - Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows, - Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose; - Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes, - But follow your leader wherever he goes. - -As the train started all the passengers looked out of the windows -laughing at us and waving their hands. Anyway we were more powerful than -that train because a donkey could stop it and we could move him off the -track, so it could get started, and that proves how smart boy scouts are -even when they don’t know where they’re at. - - - - - CHAPTER VII - - WE REACH THE FICKLE GUIDE POST - - -“I’d like to know where we are,” Warde said. - -“We’re in the Catskill Mountains,” I told him. - -“You might as well say we’re in the universe,” Pee-wee said. “What good -does that do us?” - -“You mean to tell me it isn’t good to be in the universe?” I asked him. - -“It’s one of the best places I know of,” Garry said. - -“Sure it is,” I told him. “Anybody who isn’t satisfied with the -universe——” - -“You’re crazy!” Pee-wee yelled. - -“Follow your leader,” I said. “Follow your leader wherever he goes.” - -“Follow your nose,” Bert said. - -“No wonder he goes up in the air so often if he follows that,” Garry -said. - -“Do you think I’m going to go marching around the country for the rest -of my life?” the kid piped up. - -“Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows,” I said. “You want -to go somewhere, don’t you? Well, I promise to lead you somewhere. -That’s just where you want to go. What more can you ask?” - -I kept marching in and out among the trees, touching some and not -touching others, the other fellows after me. Pretty soon I hit into the -road that crossed the track. We were about a quarter of a mile from the -track then. I kept along that road, sometimes walking on the stone wall -and sometimes going zigzag in the road. I knew we were going west and I -was pretty sure that Temple Camp was southwest, but I didn’t know how -far. I thought that pretty soon we would come to a crossroad and that -there would be a sign there. - -Pretty soon we did come to one and there was a sign there, all right. I -was glad of that because the road we were on had made so many turns I -didn’t know for certain which direction we were going in. Besides, the -sky was all cloudy so I couldn’t tell anything by the sun. - -“There’s a sign post!” one of the fellows shouted. - -“Saved!” another fellow yelled. - -I didn’t strain my eyes to see what was on the signboard, but as soon as -I saw it I began passing in and out among the trees along the road, -grabbing each tree and going around it. All the while we were singing -those crazy rhymes. So that way I came to the sign post and grabbed hold -of it and around I went, only, good night, the post went round with my -hand. - -“There’s a good turn,” I shouted. - -“Now you didn’t do a thing but make the plot thicker,” Pee-wee yelled at -me at the top of his voice. “Now you’ve got everything mixed up.” - -“I changed the whole map of the Catskills,” I said. “That’s nothing; see -how the map of Europe is changed. I don’t think much of a signboard that -changes its mind.” - -“I don’t think much of a scout that changes a signboard,” Pee-wee -shouted. - -We all stood there staring at the sign. On the top of that post were two -boards crossways to each other and on each board two directions were -printed with arrows pointing. On one board was printed _COXSACKIE 8 M._, -with an arrow pointing one way, and _ATHENS 5 M._, with an arrow -pointing the opposite way. On the other board was printed _CAIRO 9 M._, -with an arrow pointing one way, and _CLAYVILLE 7 M._, with an arrow -pointing the other way, and underneath that board was a little board -with _TEMPLE CAMP_ printed on it. I guess scouts put that there. - -But a lot of good that sign did us because all we knew was that Temple -Camp was in the same direction as Clayville and we didn’t know which -direction Clayville was in. - -“Follow your leader and you don’t know where you’re at,” Pee-wee said, -very disgusted like. - -“Wrong the first time,” I said. “The poem says follow your nose. Would -you rather believe the guide post than that beautiful poem? The poem -never changes but the guide post moves around. We know where we’re at, -we’re right here; deny it if you dare. We’re smarter than the guide -post.” - -“You’re about as smart as a lunatic,” the kid shouted. “If you hadn’t -touched that we’d know which way to go. _Now_ where is Temple Camp?” - -“That’s easy,” I told him; “it’s where it always was.” - -“You mean _you’re_ like you always were,” he said; “you’re crazy.” - -“Let’s move it around again,” Hervey said, “and we’ll say the first -verse and let go the post just as we finish. Then let’s go the way it -says.” - -“Good idea,” Warde said; “let’s all agree that we’ll go whichever way -the Temple Camp arrow points.” - -“There are four directions,” Pee-wee said. “We’ll stand just one chance -in four of going the right way.” - -“There are only two directions,” I said; “right and wrong. Deny it who -can. So we stand a fifty-fifty chance of going right. Anybody that knows -anything about arithmetic can tell that. Come on, follow your leader -wherever he goes.” - -I grabbed hold of the sign post and started walking around with the rest -of them after me singing, “Follow your leader wherever he goes.” Some -merry-go-round! We sang the first verse and I stopped short when we got -to the word _goes_. - -“Come on,” I said, “Temple Camp is right over that way. Follow your -leader.” - -“Trust to luck,” Hervey said; “if it’s wrong, so much the better. Let -the guide post worry. They had no right to put a pinwheel here for a -guide post.” - -“Just what _I_ say,” I told him. - -“How about others coming along?” Warde wanted to know. That fellow makes -me tired, he’s all the time using sense. - -“Now what have you got to say?” Pee-wee yelled. “A scout is supposed to -be helpful.” - -“Sure, he’s supposed to help himself to all the cake he wants, like -you,” I said. - -Warde said, “As long as we’ve had all the fun we want here, let’s set -the post right before we go.” - -“We haven’t had all the fun we want,” Hervey said. - -“Sure we haven’t,” I put in. “We haven’t begun to have any yet.” - -“I care more about dinner than I do about fun,” Pee-wee said. - -“Do you mean dinner isn’t fun?” Garry asked him. - -“I’m just as crazy as you are,” Bert said to me, “but we might as well -go crazy in the right direction if we can only find out what that is.” - -“Carried by a large minority,” I said; “the board of directors is -appointed to find out the direction, so we can go crazy in that -direction.” Warde said, “The trouble is that other people that pass here -are not so crazy as we are and they’d like to know which way is which. -Some people are peculiar.” - -“Some people are worse than peculiar,” the Animal Cracker shouted. - -“The compliment is returned with thanks and not many of them, and we -wish ourselves many happy returns of the way. If anybody knows the way -this merry-go-round of a sign post is supposed to stand let him now -speak or else forever after hold his peace.” - -“Piece of what?” Pee-wee shouted. - -“Piece of pie,” I said; “that’s what you usually hold, isn’t it?” - -Warde just went up to the sign post kind of smiling and turned it around -till he got it just where he wanted it. - -“What’s the idea?” I asked him. - -He said, “Well, there are a couple of ideas.” I said, “I didn’t know we -could scare up as many as that among the whole lot of us.” - -“Maybe I’m wrong,” Warde said, “but I think that the side of the post -with dried mud on it should face the road. That mud was spattered by -wagons and autos. And I think the side that isn’t sunbaked faced the -woods where it’s damp and shady. And I think the board where the paint -is faded is the one that faced the sun. And so I think that Cairo is -over _there_, and Athens over _there_ and Temple Camp over _there_. -See?” - -“Hip, hip, and a couple of hurrahs!” Hervey Willetts said. “That means -we can cut through these woods and come out at the end of the old -railroad branch. There’s a big apple tree over there, I fell out of it -once. It’s all woods over there and we stand a pretty good chance of -getting lost again.” - -“What kind of apples are they?” Pee-wee wanted to know. - -“Baked apples,” I told him. - -So then I started off with the rest of them after me, singing _Follow -your leader wherever he goes_. - - - - - CHAPTER VIII - - WE DO A GOOD TURN - - -“There ought to be plenty of apples on that branch,” I said, as I went -along. - -“What branch?” the kid wanted to know. - -“The old railroad branch,” I told him. “Don’t you know that apples grow -on a branch?” - -I guess none of us knew anything about that old branch but Hervey -Willetts. That fellow knows about the funniest things and places. He can -take you to old shacks in the woods and all places like that. He knows -all the farmers for miles around camp. He knows where you can get dandy -buttermilk. And he knows where you can get killed by quicksand and a lot -of other peachy places. He says that’s the kind of sand he likes because -it’s quick. He believes in action, that fellow. - -I said, “As long as you know where we’re going suppose you be leader for -a little while.” - -“I’ll be leader,” Pee-wee shouted. - -“Let Hervey be leader,” they all said. - -So I fell behind and I was glad to get rid of the job of leading for a -little while. But, oh boy, it was some job following! That fellow swung -up into trees and turned somersaults over stone walls and hopped on one -leg over big rocks—good night, we didn’t have any rest. - -“You wanted ginger,” he said. - -“Sure, but we didn’t want cayenne pepper,” I told him. “Have a heart.” - -Gee whiz, that fellow didn’t miss anything, trees, rocks, fences, and -all the while he kept singing: - - Follow your leader, - Follow your leader; - Follow your leader true. - - If he starts to roll, - Or falls in a hole; - Or shins up a tree or a telegraph pole. - You have to do it too, - you do; - You have to do it too. - -I can’t tell you about all the crazy things that fellow did. It looked -awful funny to see the rest of us following, especially Pee-wee with a -scowl all over his face. I guessed Hervey knew where he was going all -right because no matter what he did he always came back to a trail. - -Pretty soon we came to the old railroad branch. A long time ago that -used to go to some mines. We followed the old tracks through the woods. -Hervey walked on one of the rails and we all tried to keep on it, but it -was hard balancing ourselves he went so fast. - -I guess maybe we went a half mile that way and then we saw ahead of us a -funny kind of a car on the track. It wasn’t meant to carry people, it -was meant to carry iron ore, I guess. It was about as long as a very -young trolley car. A long iron bar, a funny kind of a coupling I guess -it was, stuck out from it. It was all open, like a great big scuttle, -kind of. There were piles of stones and earth and old holes all caved in -nearby. Those were the old iron mines, Hervey said. - -“Gee whiz,” I told him, “I’ve been to Temple Camp every summer and I -never saw this place before. Christopher Columbus hasn’t got anything on -you.” - -“Follow your leader wherever he goes,” he said, and over the end of the -car he went and, kerflop, down inside, all the rest of us after him. -There was straw inside. - -That fellow couldn’t sit down long. In about ten seconds up he jumped -and shouted, “Follow your leader.” - -I was so tired I could have just lain in that little car till Christmas, -but I got up and so did the others, all except Pee-wee. - -“Come on, follow your leader,” I said. - -“Not much,” he said; “I’m going to lie here and take a rest. I’ve had -enough funny-bone hiking. If you think I’m going to follow you all over -the Catskill Mountains without any dinner, you’re mistaken. I know the -way home from here, it’s easy. Go ahead and march into the Hudson River -if you want to for all I care.” - -“Which way do we go from here?” Hervey asked him. - -“We follow the tracks straight along,” the kid said. “That will bring us -to the turnpike and all we have to do is to go through Leeds. _There_, -you think you’re so smart.” - -“Righto,” Hervey said; “just climb out of the other end of the car and -keep going, right along the track.” - -“Smart kid,” I said. - -“Do you think I’m going to be turning somersaults all the way home?” he -wanted to know. “The next time I join a parade it won’t be with a lot of -monkeys.” - -“Those somersaults were all good turns,” Bert said. - -“This place is good enough for me,” Pee-wee shot back at him. - -So we left him there sprawled out on the straw and followed Hervey in -and out of old holes, kind of like caves, and all around and over piles -of earth and everything till pretty soon he stopped and said, panting -good and hard, “What do you say to a plot?” - -“I take them three times a day and before retiring,” I said. “What kind -of a plot? A grass-plot?” - -“Let’s have some fun with Pee-wee,” he said. “Did you hear him say he -knows the way home from here? He thinks all he has to do is to climb out -the other end of the car and keep going along the track to the -turnpike.” - -“Well, isn’t that right?” Warde asked. - -“Sure it’s right,” Hervey said; “only it depends on where the other end -of the car is. See? That car’s on a turntable if anybody should ask -you.” - -“If it were a dinner table it would interest Pee-wee more,” I said. - -“I noticed there was a kind of platform under it with grass growing -through the cracks,” Warde said. - -“Come on, let’s see if he’s asleep and we’ll turn it around,” Hervey -said. “The woods look the same no matter which way you go. Follow your -leader.” - -He started tiptoeing over to the tracks holding his finger against his -lips and we all did just the same. I had to laugh, it seemed so funny. -He kept singing, _Follow your leader_, in a whisper. - -That fellow ought to be in my patrol, he’s so crazy. - - - - - CHAPTER IX - - WE FOLLOW OUR LEADER - - -There was Pee-wee, sprawled on the straw inside the little car, sound -asleep. The funny-bone hike had been too much for him, I guess. Hervey -got a stick and pushed with it against the rail right near the edge of -the turntable. We had to all get sticks and push before we could budge -it. - -It squeaked as it went around, the part underneath was so rusty. We -brought it to one full turn so that the car stood with the long coupling -at the opposite side from where it had been before. We thought we might -as well let Pee-wee sleep a little longer so we went to a tree that -Hervey knew about and got some apples. Then we went back and sat in a -line on the edge of the car with our feet hanging inside and started -eating apples. After a little while we began singing, _Follow your -leader_, and that woke Pee-wee up. - -He opened one eye, then he stretched his arm, then opened the other eye -and sat up, staring. - -“Wheredgerget thabbles?” he wanted to know, rubbing his eyes. - -I said, “Here, catch this and eat it.” Then I said, “Scout Harris of the -raving Raven patrol, alias the Animal Cracker, you have been elected by -an unanimous majority to lead the funny-bone hike. What say you? Yes or -yes? Do you know the way to Temple Camp?” - -“A fool knows the way to Temple Camp,” he said, very disgusted like. - -“And you claim you’re a fool?” Warde asked him. - -“I claim you’re a lot of lunatics,” Pee-wee said, sitting there and -yawning and trying to eat an apple at the same time. - -“It’s your turn to lead,” Garry said. “Our career of glory is over and -we want to go home.” - -“I’m tired of this crazy stuff and I don’t believe anybody here knows -the way to camp,” Bert said. - -“This branch crosses the turnpike,” Pee-wee said. “Don’t you know the -little wooden bridge where the tracks cross the road?” - -“Oh yes, the dear little wooden place,” I said; “how well I remember -it!” - -“You turn left on the turnpike and go through Leeds,” the kid said. - -“Ah, but suppose the turnpike shouldn’t be there any more?” Garry said. -“Some strange things have happened since we started in a north southerly -direction from Catskill.” - -“That’s because you had crazy leaders,” Pee-wee shot back. “If you’re -sensible and want to go back to camp I’ll show you the way.” - -“Oh we’re sensible,” I said. - -“You’re the worst of the lot,” he shouted. - -Hervey said, “My idea is, just like I said, to follow the track right -along the same way we were going and that will bring us out at the -turnpike.” - -“If the turnpike hasn’t been turned around,” I said. - -“We’ll be careful not to touch it with our hands when we get there,” -Garry said. - -“I’ll lead you,” Pee-wee said; “it’s easy from here; I could do it with -my eyes closed.” - -“If you’ll keep your mouth closed I’ll be satisfied,” I told him. - -“But it isn’t going to be any funny-bone hike,” he said; “I’ll tell you -that.” - -“It’ll be a backbone hike—straight,” I said. “There’s no place like -home.” - -“Home is all right, it’s a good place to start from,” Hervey said. - -“Well, then, take us home; I’m ready,” Bert spoke up. “I don’t want any -more funny-bone hikes wished on me. Wish-bones are good enough, I’m -hungry.” - -So Pee-wee climbed over the end of the car, and started along and we all -followed. - -“Follow your leader wherever he goes,” I said. - -“He’s going straight home,” Pee-wee said. - -“Are you sure you got out of the right end of the car?” Hervey asked -him. - -Pee-wee was still kind of half-asleep, and he stopped and looked around. -“Sure, we got in at the end where the coupling is,” he said. “Come on, -follow me.” - -“You can’t fool Scout Harris,” I said; “not even with a couple of cups -of couplings. Forward march, follow your leader!” And we started -singing: - - Where’er we may roam, - There’s no place like home. - -Pee-wee marched on ahead like a little soldier, munching an apple. - - - - - CHAPTER X - - WE RETRACE OUR STEPS - - -He marched along the tracks for about half a mile, through the woods. As -he went along I remembered what Uncle Jeb said, that the woods look -different when you’re going in the opposite direction from which you -came. He said the way a tree looks depends on where you stand. And it’s -the same with hills and everything. So that’s why the woods only look -familiar when you’re going the same way that you went before. That’s the -reason for blazing trails. - -Uncle Jeb says a person looks different front and back and it’s the same -with woods. Pee-wee marched along back the same way we had come, very -bold and sure. - -After a while he said, “I don’t know why we don’t come to the turnpike.” - -“Maybe it’s because it isn’t here,” I said. - -“Are you sure you’re going the right way?” Bert asked him. - -“Sure I’m sure,” he said; “only it’s longer than I thought it was.” - -“Maybe it got stretched,” I said. - -Pee-wee just kept trudging along and he said, “Maybe it seems long -because we’re kind of played out.” - -“Oh, we don’t care as long as you get us home,” Garry said. - -“We trust you implicitly,” Warde told him. - -“You’re our guiding light,” Garry said. - -Pee-wee just trudged on. - -Pretty soon he said, “As long as you’re all so tired, maybe I can -find—I think I know a short cut.” - -“Take us the way the raven flies,” I said; “the shorter the quicker.” - -“I can see a road over there through the trees,” he said. “That goes -into the turnpike. It’ll be easier walking on the road.” - -“As long as you know you’re going the right way,” I said. - -_“Sure_ I’m going the right way,” he said; “what’s the use of getting -scared. We’ll be home in twenty minutes.” - -“That’ll be nice,” Garry said. - -“Won’t I be glad!” said Bert. - -“Just you follow me,” Pee-wee said. - -“We’re following,” I told him. “We’re following our leader wherever he -goes. We know the animal cracker knows the woods. Have another apple?” - -Next he left the tracks and cut over to the left where we could see a -road through the trees. He hit into the road and hiked along. - -“Sure you’re right?” Bert asked him. - -“Do you think I don’t know the way?” the kid said, very disgusted. - -“Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose,” I said. - -Pretty soon he came to a crossroad and _g-o-o-d night magnolia!_ Right -there, staring us in the face was the fickle signboard that I had turned -around. Oh boy, you should have seen Pee-wee. The apple he was eating -fell out of his hand and he just stood there staring. He couldn’t even -speak. - -“Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,” Hervey said. - -I said, “Have no fear, our gallant leader is with us. Raving ravens do -not get rattled. Trust to Scout Harris. He knows the way. Follow your -leader.” - -Maybe that signboard had been a pinwheel, but there it was at the very -same spot where it had been before. - -Warde said, “That’s one good thing about scouts, they always come back.” - -I said, “Pee-wee led us the right way, only in the wrong direction.” - -“Just as you said,” Garry put in, “the turnpike has disappeared. That’s -why I never liked turnpikes, they’re so fickle.” - -“There’s something wrong here!” the kid shouted. - -“Sure,” I said, “it isn’t your fault, it’s the turnpike’s.” - -“I started in the right direction,” Pee-wee shouted, “and I kept going -in the right direction, you can’t deny it. I’d like to know how we got -here?” - -“That’s what _I’d_ like to know,” I said. - -“I suppose we just walked here,” Bert said; “we followed our leader.” - -Hervey started singing: - - The turnpike turned round - And the trail it got bent, - We followed our leader wherever he went. - -“Anyway, I’m sure I started in the right direction,” the kid said; “I -don’t care what anybody says.” - -I said, “Sure, if the right direction changes its mind that isn’t your -fault. Come on, let’s go back. It’s long past dinner-time.” - -“Let Warde be leader,” Hervey said; “he’s the only one here who has any -sense.” - -So we started following Warde back along the trail till we came to the -railroad tracks and along those to the little iron ore car. - -Hervey said, “The best way to find out which way to go is to spin the -car around and call the coupling the arrow-head and go whichever way -that points.” - -“You’re crazy,” Pee-wee shouted. “Will you talk sense and let’s start -for camp? We’ve been starting for camp all morning.” - -“That’s the right way to do,” I told him; “have a lot of different -starts and if you can’t use one you can use another. Didn’t you ever -hear of having two strings to your bow? A scout should never try to go -anywhere without having two or three extra starts.” - -Just then Hervey and Bert and Garry started moving the turntable around -and, _good night_, you should have seen Pee-wee stare. All of a sudden -he went up like a sky rocket. - -“Now I know what you did!” he yelled. “You turned this around while I -was asleep—you can’t deny it. You made the right direction the wrong -one!” - -I said, “The right direction is just as much right now as it ever was. -You can’t blame us.” - -“You’re all crazy!” he screamed. “Are we going to go home to camp and -get something to eat or not? Do you think I’m going to starve?” - -“Not while you’re conscious,” I said. “Would you like to lead the way -foodward or shall we elect another leader? What say we all? Shall -Pee-wee lead us to the promised land or not? Answer, _not_. You’re -rejected by a large plurality.” - -“Let Garry try it,” Hervey said. “Warde’s all right only he has too much -sense.” - -So that time we started in the right direction, following the old tracks -toward the turnpike, with Garry leading us. We kept singing _Follow your -leader_ just the same as before. - - - - - CHAPTER XI - - WE WAIT FOR THE BOAT - - -Now this is the chapter where we’re all so hungry. It’s dedicated to -Hoover. The name of it was “The Famine” only I decided to use another -name. But believe me, in this chapter we’re hungrier than war-torn -Europe. All that morning we had been marching around the country singing -those crazy rhymes and we were having so much fun that we didn’t realize -it was past dinner-time. All we had had was one bite of chocolate each -except the two bites that Pee-wee took. Seven bites isn’t much for six -scouts. - -Pretty soon we came out into the turnpike and then we knew the way back -to camp. It was a pretty long hike but we knew the way. All we had to do -was to follow the turnpike south till we came to the blackberry road and -that would take us into the road to camp. - -I said, “I hope the camp is still there.” - -Warde said, “If we get back in time for supper we’ll be lucky.” - -“How about lunch?” Pee-wee wanted to know. - -“Nothing about it,” I said; “it just isn’t.” - -“Do you think I’m going to walk ten miles with nothing to eat?” he shot -back. “You call this a funny-bone hike, it’s a famine hike, that’s what -it is. They’ll find our skeletons some day marching around through these -woods——” - -“Following our leader,” I said. - -“That’ll be a funny-bone parade,” Garry said. - -“It’ll be a bone parade all right,” I told him. - -“Maybe we’ll strike a farmhouse,” Bert said. - -Hervey said, “I know a better idea than that. What time is it?” - -“Two o’clock,” I told him. - -He said, “Good, I thought it was later. Do you like fish?” - -“How many fish?” Pee-wee wanted to know. - -“Oh just about,” Hervey said. - -“If you’re asking me,” I told him, “I could even eat some fish-hooks I’m -so hungry. I could eat a whole school of fish.” - -“I could eat a whole university of them,” Garry said. - -“Do you like them fried?” Hervey asked us. - -“_M-m-m-mm_,” I said; “I can just hear them sizzling now. Lead me to -them.” - -He said, “We’ll have to wait for them. Let’s hang out on the bridge and -pretty soon the fishing boat will come along; it always comes up from -the Hudson about this time. I know the men on that boat, I’ve been out -fishing with them. They’ll give us a couple of fish and we can cook -them. You leave it to me, I’ll fix it.” - -“What kind of fish do they catch?” Pee-wee wanted to know. - -“Smoked herring and salt codfish and canned salmon,” I told him, “and -whales.” - -“I could eat a whole whale,” he said. - -“Sometimes they catch fish-balls,” Hervey said. - -“Fish-balls or footballs or baseballs or masquerade balls, I don’t care, -I could eat anything,” I said. - -So then Hervey led the way along the turnpike till we came to the bridge -across the creek. That creek is pretty wide and it empties into the -Hudson. We were feeling all cheered-up on account of the chance of -getting something to eat and we marched along shouting: - - Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows, - Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it snows; - Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose, - But follow your leader wherever he goes. - -Then Hervey started shouting: - - We’re going to have our wish, - We’re going to get some fish. - -Then Pee-wee began yelling: - - I’m so hungry that I’m pale, - And I’d like to eat a whale. - -Gee whiz, just as I told you, we were all crazy, especially Hervey -Willetts; he was even crazier than I was and I was the craziest one -there next to Bert and Warde and Garry. But one thing I’ll say for -Hervey, he knows every place for miles around Temple Camp, and he knows -everybody too, farmers and all. - -In about five minutes we came to the bridge that the turnpike goes over. -That bridge is a drawbridge and the creek under it is wide and deep and -you can catch fish there only for one thing and that is that there -aren’t any. There’s a big lever to turn the bridge around with. - -“Let’s turn it around,” Hervey said. - -“We’ve had enough turning around,” the kid shouted. “I’m not going to -follow my leader any more till he starts eating fish.” - -“Oh very well,” Hervey said, “I was just going to give you a free ride.” - -“A free seat is good enough for me,” the kid said. - -“I second the motion,” Warde said. - -“There isn’t going to be any motion,” I said, quoth I. “This is going to -be a case of sitting still.” - -“Follow your leader,” Hervey said. - -“What are you going to do? Stand on your head on the railing?” I asked -him. - -He just vaulted up onto the railing of the bridge and we all did the -same and sat there swinging our legs and waiting for the fishing boat -and singing those rhymes and changing them around. Pretty soon we were -all shouting: - - Don’t fall in the creek for the water’s quite wet, - But think of the fish that we’re soon going to get; - Mm-m - - - - - CHAPTER XII - - WE COLLECT TOLL - - -After about six weeks and ten years the fishing boat came chugging up -the creek. Anyway it seemed as long as that before it came. The chugging -of that engine sounded good. - -“Now for the eats,” Garry said. - -Hervey said, “They’ll have a lot of perch and some bass and maybe some -soft-shell crabs.” - -“Isn’t there anything in this creek?” the kid wanted to know. - -“Nothing except water,” Hervey told him. “Anyway we haven’t got any -fishline, have we? Thank goodness we’ve got some matches, we can start a -fire.” - -“We’ll fry them brown, hey?” Pee-wee said, all excited. - -“Any color will suit me,” I told him. - -“They won’t be any color at all when we get through with them,” Bert -said. - -By that time the boat was quite near and we could see a couple of -baskets of fish in the cockpit, and there were two men. Oh boy, how I -longed to eat them, I mean the fish. Pretty soon one of the men shouted -for us to open the bridge, so they could pass. - -I called, “Hey, mister, will you give us a couple of fish? We’re perched -up here waiting for some perch.” - -He laughed and said sure, but that we should open the bridge. Now the -way to open that bridge was to walk around pushing a big iron handle -like a crowbar only longer. It was kind of like a windlass. I guess one -man could do it all right but it took three of us to get the bridge -started. It wasn’t a very big bridge but I’m not saying anything about -that because we’re not so big either except our appetites and maybe one -reason we couldn’t push so well was because we were hungry. - -Garry said, “I guess when the creek is nearly empty boats can go under -this bridge all right.” - -I said, “Don’t talk about being empty; I’m so full of emptiness it’s -flowing over. Get your hands on this thing and push. If anything should -go wrong now we’ll have to eat the Animal Cracker.” - -So then we all started pushing the long iron handle—it was a lever, -that’s what it was. All the while the boat was standing about twenty -feet away from the bridge and one man was keeping her bow upstream with -a big oar while the other man was kind of fumbling in one of the baskets -picking out a nice big fish. Pretty soon he held one up all wet and -dripping and, oh boy, it looked good. I guess it was nearly a foot long. -He shouted, “How will that one do?” - -“Mm-m-_mm_!” I said. “Lead me to it.” - -“I know where there’s an old piece of tin in the woods,” Pee-wee said, -all the while pushing the big lever for all he was worth; “a scout is -observant.” - -“I could eat a sheet of galvanized iron,” I told him. “A little salt and -pepper and I could eat a piece of railroad track.” - -“I mean to cook the fish on,” the kid said; “you’re crazy. Don’t you -know how to fry a fish? I’m going to be the one to cook it because I’ve -got the matches.” - -“Hang on to them,” I said; “things are beginning to look better. Keep -pushing; think of fried fish and keep pushing.” - -Pee-wee began thinking harder and pushing harder; I could just _see_ him -thinking. And with one hand he felt in his pocket to make sure the -matches were all safe. He carries matches in a box like a cylinder that -shaving soap comes in. - -It was kind of hard getting the bridge started but once it was started -it kept moving slowly around. The reason you can move a bridge around -like that is because it’s well balanced. But, gee whiz, I’m glad I’m not -so well balanced because I wouldn’t have so much fun. Underneath the -floor of the bridge were rollers on a track that went around in a -circle. So pretty soon we had turned the bridge so that it was -lengthways to the creek instead of across the creek and there was a -passageway on either side of it where boats could pass. - -“Marooned on a desert drawbridge,” Bert said. - -“Poor, starving natives,” I said. - -Garry said, “It’s like being on an island.” - -“A merry-go-round, you mean,” Pee-wee said. - -“Let’s call it Merry-go-round Island,” Hervey sang out. - -Just then the boat came chugging very slowly along one side of the -bridge and one of the men handed me the fish. - -I said, “Many thanks and more of them, mister, you saved our lives.” - -“Don’t let it slide out of your hands,” he said; “look out, it’s -slippery.” - -“If you let it slip out of your hands you’ll go in after it,” Pee-wee -shouted. - -Believe me, I kept tight hold of that fish. It was a dandy fish, it was -big enough for about six people to have all they wanted. - -The man said, “That will keep you quiet for a while; be sure to scrape -all the scales off and clean him out good.” - -“You leave that to us,” I told him, “we’re boy scouts. Cooking fish is -our middle name. There’s only one thing we do better than cooking fish -and that is eating them. We can eat them till the cows come home and -sometimes the cows stay out all night where we live. Believe me, I never -had much use for Henry Hudson in the history books, but I’m glad he -discovered the Hudson River as well as the Hudson Boulevard.” - -“That’s in Jersey City,” Pee-wee shouted. “Do you think that’s named -after Henry Hudson?” - -“It’s named after the Hudson automobile,” Garry said. - -“Sure it is,” I told him, “just the same as the Hudson River is named -after the Hudson River Day Line; you learn that in the fourth grade; -here, take this fish while I help turn the merry-go-round around, -around, around. Then we’ll eat.” - -The boat went chugging up the creek, the men laughing and waving their -hands at us. Pee-wee sat down on the floor of the bridge hugging the -fish as if it were his long lost brother. The rest of us started pushing -the lever. - -_But, oh boy, it didn’t push._ - - - - - CHAPTER XIII - - WE ARE MAROONED ON A DESERT ISLAND - - -“Come on and help,” I said to Pee-wee. - -“Suppose the fish jumps off the bridge,” he said. “Do you think I’m -going to take any chances?” - -“The strength of an Animal Cracker doesn’t count for much,” Garry said. - -“Look out the fish doesn’t jump in the creek with you,” I told Pee-wee. - -Well, we pushed and pushed and pushed and braced our feet and kept -pushing for dear life, but we couldn’t budge that lever. Pee-wee held -the fish tight under one arm and helped us but it wasn’t any use. We -just couldn’t budge the lever. - -“We’re marooned for fair,” Bert said. - -“Boy Scouts Starve on Merry-go-round Island,” I said. “That would be a -good heading for a newspaper article.” - -“Merry-go-standstill you mean,” Hervey began laughing. “What do we care? -It’s all in the game. Come ahead, give her one more push; follow your -leader.” - -“Do you call starving a game?” the kid fairly yelled at him. I had to -laugh, he looked so funny standing there with the fish under his arm. - -We tried some more but—no use. “The merry-go-round has stalled,” I -said. “We’ve got Robinson Crusoe tearing his hair with jealousy.” - -“We’re on a desert island in earnest,” Bert said. He was the last to -give up. - -“Don’t talk about desert, it reminds me of dessert,” I said. - -“I’m not so much in earnest either,” Hervey began laughing. “Come on, -follow your leader.” Then he started to jump up on the railing. - -I said, “It’s a very good joke; he, he, ho, ho, and a couple of ha ha’s! -But how about lunch? We can’t start a fire on this bridge without -burning it up and besides we haven’t got any kindling.” - -“The only way we can get off the bridge is to burn it up,” Hervey said. -“The boy scout stood on the burning bridge——” - -“Eating fish by the peck,” I said. “This is a new kind of a desert -island—1921 model. We made it ourselves. But what care we? We have -food. We care naught, quoth I.” - -“What good is the food?” Pee-wee screamed. “You broke the bridge, that’s -what you did! And now we’ve got to go hungry.” - -“Go?” I said. “What do you mean by ‘go’? You mean we’ve got to stay here -hungry. Our skeletons will be found on Merry-go-round Island——” - -“Following their leader,” Hervey said. - -“Along with the skeleton of a faithful fish,” Bert said. “That’s what -happens to young boys when they go around too much.” - -“That’s what happens when any one goes around with this bunch,” the kid -shouted. “You’re so crazy that it’s catching; even the sign posts and -bridges go crazy. The next time I go on a funny-bone hike I won’t go at -all, but if I do I’ll bring my lunch you can bet.” - -“What’ll we do next?” Hervey wanted to know. - -I said, “Let’s have a feast, let’s feast our eyes on the fish. I can -just kind of hear him sizzling over the fire.” - -“You can’t eat sizzles,” the kid said, very disgusted like. - -I said, “No, but you can think of them. Let’s all think how fine the -fish would taste if we could only cook him. Do you remember how we moved -a lunch wagon by the power of our appetites? Maybe we can move the -bridge that way.” - -“You make me tired,” Pee-wee yelled. “If you hadn’t started this -crazy—look at the chocolate bars you made us throw away.” - -“I’d like to have a look at them,” I said. - -We all perched up on the railing of the bridge, Pee-wee holding the fish -under one arm for fear it might flop off the bridge. Safety first. -Sitting the way we did we were all facing the shore. There were woods -there and dandy places to build a fire. There were twigs and things all -around. - -I said, “It would be fine over there. We could just get that piece of -tin Pee-wee was telling us about and gather up some of those nice dry -twigs and start a little fire and let the tin get red hot and then lay -the fish on it——” - -“Shut up!” the kid shouted. - -“Only the trouble is we’re marooned on a desert island,” I said. “Anyway -there’s one thing I like and that is adventure. I was always crazy to -starve on a desert island.” - -“You don’t have to tell us you’re crazy,” Pee-wee said. - -“We followed you back to the sign post,” I told him, “and you promised -to cook us a fish. Let’s see you do it. A scout’s honor is to be -trusted, he’s supposed to keep his word—scout law number forty-eleven.” - -“How about diving?” Hervey asked. “It’s the only way to get into the -water; there isn’t any way to climb down off this thing; the underneath -part of it is way inside.” - -“Where did you expect it to be? Up in the air?” I asked him. “The -underneath part is usually underneath.” - -“Not always,” Bert said. - -“Well, anyway,” I said, “I’m not going to risk my life diving into water -that I don’t know anything about. Suppose I should break my skull; what -good would a fish dinner be to me?” - -“That’s a good argument,” Garry said. - -“It’s a peach of an argument,” I told him. - -“It’s what Pee-wee calls logic. Gee whiz, but I’m hungry.” - -“Same here,” Bert said. - -“Same here,” Garry said. - -“Same here,” Hervey said. - -“Same here,” Warde said. - -“I’m as hungry as the whole five of you put together,” our young hero -said. “I heard a story that a man can go forty days without food, but -you can’t get me to swallow that.” - -“It’s about the only thing that you wouldn’t swallow,” I told him. “I’m -so hungry I’d swallow any argument I ever heard; I’d swallow any kind of -a story, especially a fish story.” - -“There you go again,” Bert said; “what’s the good of reminding us about -it?” - -“I’d swallow a serial story,” I told him; “any kind of cereal, oatmeal, -cream of wheat, or anything.” - -So we just sat there looking across the creek into the woods, and -swinging our legs, but we were too hungry to sing. - -“Let’s look for a sail on the horizon,” Hervey said. “That’s always the -way people do when they’re starving on desert drawbridges. This would -make a good movie play.” - -“You mean a good standing still play,” I said; “the trouble with this -hike is there isn’t any action in it.” - -“You mean there isn’t any food in it,” Pee-wee piped up. - -“Don’t you care,” I told him, “there’s a desert island. What more do you -want? And we’ve got plenty of food only we can’t cook it. That’s better -than being able to cook it and not having any. We should worry.” - - - - - CHAPTER XIV - - WE SEE A SAIL - - -Now after that last chapter are supposed to come about ten chapters -where we don’t do anything except just be hungry. But believe me, that’s -enough. We just sat there swinging our legs from the railing of that -desert island, scanning the horizon for a sail. - -I said, “I wonder if there’s any treasure buried on this desert island. -Maybe Captain Kidd secreted some Liberty Bonds here; maybe he hid some -bars of gold.” - -“I wish he had left some bars of chocolate here,” Warde said. - -“Or some small change, chicken feed, or anything we could eat,” Garry -put in. “I’d be glad to eat a bale of hay or shredded wheat or a -whisk-broom or anything else like that.” - -“They’re just about getting ready to cook supper at Temple Camp now,” -Warde said; “Chocolate Drop* is just about beginning to peel potatoes. -Pretty soon he’ll be stirring up batter for cookies. I think they’re -going to have strawberry jam and crullers to-night and—and cheese -and—lemon pie. They’ll be having baked beans to-night, too, on account -of it being Saturday. Oh boy, I can just see that nice slice of brown -pork on top——” - -“Will you keep still!” Pee-wee screamed. - -“Sure,” said Hervey; “whatever it is, let’s do it. If we’re going to -starve let’s get some fun out of it. I bet I can beat anybody starving.” - -I said, “Pee-wee can beat you at that with both hands tied behind him, -can’t you, Kid? Once I read about some men who were going to freeze to -death in an ice cream freezer or somewhere; maybe it was up at the North -Pole. So they wrote a note and stuck it up on a pole, maybe they stuck -it on the North Pole, and they told what had become of them and how they -had died a terrible death so that the world may be able to know about -it. So let’s write a note and say that we starved here because we -couldn’t cook a fish and that we hope our parents will take a lesson -from us and not go round so much when they grow up. I was always wild, I -used to ride on a runaway clotheshorse when I was a kid.” - -“You’re a kid now,” our young hero shouted. “You think it’s funny, don’t -you?” - -“I know which is north and which is south,” I said, very sarcastic, “and -anyway, I stay awake while I’m turning around. Do you think Cruson -Robsoe got mad just because he was on a desert island? All he had was a -footprint in the sand and we’ve got a fish—to look at. Isn’t he pretty? -I bet there’s nice white meat inside of him, and a lot of bones. I -wonder if he has a funny-bone? As long as we can’t get away from here -let’s each tell our favorite dessert. I say let’s die bravely, like boy -scouts, hungry to the end.” - -All of a sudden, _good night_, Garry nearly fell off the railing; he was -waving his hands and shouting, “A sail! A sail!” - -“What kind of a sale?” Bert asked him. “A special sale or a cake sale or -what? If it’s a cake sale lead me to it.” - -Garry just kept shouting, “A sail! A sail! A sail on the horizon!” - -“I don’t see any horizon,” I said. “Where is it?” - -“Along there through the woods,” he said. “A sail! A sail! We are -shaved!” - -“What are you shouting about?” I said. “That isn’t a sail, it’s a Ford -car! Hurrah! Hurrah! And a couple of hips!” - ------ - -* The darky cook at Temple Camp. - - - - - CHAPTER XV - - WE FORM A RESOLVE - - -We all started shouting, “We are shaved! We are shaved! A Fraud car! A -Fraud car on the horizon!” I guess the driver of that Ford car thought -we were crazy. - -“I hope he’ll stop before he runs into the creek,” Warde said. - -The car was coming along the turnpike at the rate of about a half a -million miles a year and I shouted, “Hey, mister, whoever you are, -please stop before you get here; it was raining last night and the water -is wet.” - -“Stop your fooling,” the kid said. - -I said, “Do you think I want that car to come plunging into the creek? -Suppose that driver is blind.” - -“She’s coming under full sail,” Garry said. - -“Hurrah!” they all shouted. - -“She’s missing in one cylinder,” Bert said. Then we all started -shouting, “Saved! At last we are saved!” - -Just then, _good night_, that Ford car turned off into a side road and -we couldn’t see it any more. - -“Now you see what you get for fooling,” the kid shot at me. “If we had -shouted ‘help’ all together as loud as we could he’d have come straight -along. You think it’s fun being imprisoned here with nothing to eat; you -make me tired. Maybe you don’t know that not much traffic comes along -this old turnpike; that’s why they don’t have any bridge-tender here.” - -“They have tenderfoot bridge-tenders,” I said. - -“Maybe no one else will come along all night,” Pee-wee said, “and then -what are we going to do? Suppose a wagon or an auto should come along -after dark and we didn’t see it coming; it would plunge to death and -then I hope you’d be satisfied.” - -“That’s right,” Warde said, kind of serious, “we haven’t even got a -lantern to swing. How could we warn anybody?” - -“We can’t even shout if we don’t get something to eat,” the kid said. - -“Sure,” Bert said, “we’ll be so weak we won’t even be able to lift our -voices.” - -“We’re in a desperate predicament,” Pee-wee said, very dark and serious -like. I guess he got those words out of the movies. - -“Maybe we could tie a note to the fish and throw him in the water,” I -said. “When someone catches him they’ll find out we’re in distress.” - -“No you don’t,” the kid yelled, hanging onto the fish while I tried to -take it away from him. - -“If we could only send up a signal,” Warde said. “It’s all very well -joking but if it gets dark it will be mighty bad with this bridge open -and no one standing guard at the ends of the road.” - -“There’ll be a tragedy,” the kid said. - -Gee whiz, when I heard Warde speak that way I realized that it might be -pretty dangerous there after dark. And I was a little scared about it -because it seemed that no one came along that road very much and maybe -it would be night before anyone came. - -I said, “Well, if it gets toward night and no one comes either way I’ll -take a chance and dive and swim to shore. One of you fellows will have -to dive and swim to the other shore too.” - -“I’ll do that,” Hervey sang out. - -“But we’ll wait till it’s necessary,” I said. - -Now maybe you think that because we are scouts we should have been able -to get to shore easily enough, and if it were only a case of swimming -that fish wouldn’t have anything on us. But we couldn’t get from that -bridge into the water except by diving and diving is dangerous when you -don’t know the water you’re diving into. Especially near a bridge it’s -dangerous because there are apt to be piles sticking up under the -surface of the water. So that’s why we have a rule never to dive unless -we know about the place where we’re diving. But, gee whiz, if it’s a -case of an auto plunging into the water or taking a chance myself, I’ll -take the chance every time. And I know that Hervey Willetts would dive -into the Hudson River from the top of the Woolworth Building if anybody -dared him to do it. - -“Anyway, let’s not lose our morale,” I said. “We’re here because we’re -here. Scouts are supposed to be resourceful; let’s sit up on the railing -again and think.” - -“As soon as the sun goes down I’m going to dive,” Hervey said. “Do you -see that big maple tree in the woods? As soon as I can’t count the -leaves on that top branch any more I’m going to dive. I don’t know how -deep it is or what’s under the water, but I’m going to stand guard down -the road a ways. What do you say?” - -“Are you asking me?” I asked him. - -“I sure am,” he said; “you’re the only patrol leader here.” - -I just said, “Well, if you want to know what I’m going to do I’ll tell -you. I never broke up a game yet. I’m going to follow my leader wherever -he goes. I’m going to take care of the other side of the road. I’m not -going to ask where I’m headed for nobody knows. And I’m not going to -weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose. And I’m not going to start to ask -questions, or hint or propose. There are some scouts here that are not -so stuck on this crazy game. But, believe me, it’s more of a game than I -thought it was. You were the one that started it. No people are going to -lose their lives on account of us. I’m going to follow my leader -wherever he goes. So now you know.” - -“Do you call me a quitter?” Pee-wee shouted in my face. - -“Look out for the fish,” I said. - -“I don’t care anything about the fish,” he yelled. “I’m not hungry. I’m -in this funny-bone hike and I’ll follow Hervey Willetts if he—if he—if -he—stands on his head on top of a bonfire—I will. So there!” - -“He wouldn’t do such a thing, don’t worry,” I said. “He couldn’t keep -still long enough. Pick up the fish before he flops off the desert -island. Safety first, that’s our motto. Hey, Hervey?” - -“That’s us,” Hervey said. “Let’s tell some riddles.” - - - - - CHAPTER XVI - - WE ARE SAVED - - -So then we all sat on the railing of the desert island and sang _Follow -your leader_, and Pee-wee joined in good and loud. He kept the fish -under his arm. When it comes to a showdown Pee-wee is loyal. He can even -be loyal to a fish. - -Maybe we sat there for as much as an hour and Hervey was telling us -about all the crazy things you can do on a Follow your leader hike. All -of a sudden Garry shouted, “A sail! A sail! Another sail on the -horizon!” - -“Is it the same horizon?” I asked him. - -“It’s a red sail,” he said. - -“It’s a red cow, you mean,” I told him. - -“We are saved!” they all started yelling again. “A cow! A cow! A red cow -with white spots! She is coming to our rescue!” - -“Maybe she’ll give us some malted milk,” Hervey said. - -Oh boy, I had to laugh. There, away way down the road a cow was coming -along, waddling from one side to the other and as she came nearer we -could see how she was swishing her tail. - -“She’s making about ten knots an hour,” Garry said; “she’s coming -straight for us. She is bringing milk to the starving castaways. Watch -and see if she turns into that side road.” - -“She has passed it!” Bert yelled. “She is coming straight for us under -full sail. Hold the fish up as a signal of distress. She is a hero, I -mean a shero.” - -It looked awful funny to see that old cow lumbering along, and every -time she stopped to eat a leaf or something we thought she was going to -turn into a side lane. - -“There’s a little girl right behind her,” Bert said. “She’s carrying a -big whip; she’s driving the cow.” - -That little girl was about half as big as Pee-wee. She had on a big -sunbonnet and a kind of a gingham apron and she came hiking along behind -the cow with that great big whip over her shoulder. She looked awful -little. - -“Do you think I want to be rescued by her?” the kid shouted. - -“I’d let a mosquito rescue me, I’m so hungry,” I said. - -Pretty soon the little girl and the cow were right at the end of the -road where the end of the bridge belonged. The cow didn’t seem surprised -but the little girl did. The cow just started to eat grass as if she -didn’t care whether she got across or not. - -“Road closed on account of a desert island,” Bert called. - -“You have to take a detour around through the Panama Canal,” Garry -shouted. “Don’t be frightened, we won’t hurt you.” - -I said, “Hey, little girl, would you be kind enough to go to the nearest -house and tell the people that some boy scouts are starving on this -bridge on account of it being open?” - -“Why don’t you close it,” she asked us kind of just a little bit scared -and surprised. - -“Because it doesn’t work,” I said. “See, we’ll show you. It’s on a -strike.” - -So then we all started pushing the big lever and she began to laugh. - -“Do you think it’s a joke?” Pee-wee shouted at her. - -“You’rrre dunces,” she said, rolling her r’s awful funny. “Do you think -you can push it arraound like a trreadmill churrrn?” - -“I don’t know what a treadmill churn is,” I told her, “because I’ve -never been marooned on one——” - -“Don’t you even know how to make butterrr?” she said. - -“We know how to eat it,” I said, “and that’s enough.” - -“You’rrre trying to turrrn it raound,” she called. “It daon’t go all the -way raound, it goes _back_. Lift that plug in the floorrr and put the -leverrr in therrre and then push; it’ll go back the same way. It only -goes half-way and back—Mr. Smarrrty.” - -“_G-o-o-d night!_” I said. “I thought it was a merry-go-round.” - -“Did you think you werrre ter th’ caounty fairrr?” she asked us. - -She just stood there staring at us as if she thought we were escaped -lunatics from Luna Park. - -I said, “Pardon us, but we never studied drawing so we don’t know -anything about drawbridges. Do you mean this thing in the floor that -looks like the head of a bolt?” - -“Right therrre at yourrr feet,” she said. - -On the floor about three feet from the lever was a kind of a round iron -plate that looked like the top of a big bolt. It was just a kind of a -plug and it lifted out. All we had to do was to haul the lever out and -put it in there and push. There was a kind of reverse gear that made the -bridge go back. And all the while we had been pushing and pushing and -trying to make that pesky old bridge keep going around like a -merry-go-round. But that wasn’t the way it worked. The end of it that -belonged at the north had to go back to the north; the bridge only went -half-way around. - -It wasn’t hard closing it again when we got it started. It moved back -very slowly until the ends of it fitted the ends of the road. The little -girl just stood there kind of disgusted with us. Pee-wee didn’t say a -word. - -As soon as the way was open the cow started across, the little girl -after her. She looked back two or three times as if she didn’t know what -to make of us. Once the cow looked back, kind of puzzled like; that’s -the way it seemed to me. - - - - - CHAPTER XVII - - WE COOK THE DUCK - - -“Rescued by a brave, heroic little girl,” I said, as we went tramping -off into the road. - -“Let’s be sure that we’re headed in the right direction,” Warde said. -“After what happened I don’t trust myself at all. Is this the end of the -bridge we got on at, or is it the other end?” - -“It’s one end or the other,” I said. - -“One end’s as good as the other if not better,” Hervey said. “Come on, -follow your leader——” - -“Have a heart,” I said; “wait a minute. Let me collect my senses. -_That’s_ north and _that’s _south, and the Hudson is over that -way—east. This creek flows into the Hudson. All right, we’re supposed -to go in the opposite direction from the direction that little girl is -taking. We’re on the right end of the bridge.” - -“Right,” Warde said. - -“That means that the piece of tin that Pee-wee saw is across the -bridge,” Bert said. - -“I’ll go back and hunt for it,” said Pee-wee. “Here, hold the fish.” - -“At last we’re going to have something to eat,” I said; “I’m so hungry I -could eat the piece of tin and all.” - -“You’re not going to tell them at camp that we were saved by a little -girl, are you?” Pee-wee wanted to know. - -“Yes, and I’m going to tell them that a cow laughed at us,” I said. -“Hurry up, go and hunt up that piece of tin; I’m starving.” - -You see how it was, we were at the north end of the bridge and our way -was north. I’m telling you because everything was so mixed up on that -crazy hike that maybe you don’t know where you’re at. This is chapter -Seventeen and it’s called, “We Cook the Duck” but you can’t always go by -names. Don’t get worried, if you lose your way just follow me. - -After that terrible adventure the principal thing about us was that we -were hungry; we were a kind of a walking famine. I don’t know if that -fish shrunk, but anyway it didn’t look as big as it had looked before. I -guess it was because our appetites were bigger. - -Pee-wee started back across the bridge to hunt for the piece of tin he -had seen in the woods, and the rest of us began gathering twigs and -pieces of wood for a fire. Oh boy, but that fish looked good! He was -dead by that time but he was good and fresh just the same. We ran a -forked stick through his gills and hung him in the water where it was -cool and sat around waiting for Pee-wee. We had everything all ready to -start the fire. - -Pretty soon along came our young hero with the piece of tin, tiptoeing -across the bridge, very excited and mysterious. - -I said, “What’s the matter now? Are we supposed to follow your lead when -you do that? Wait till we have something to eat first.” - -“Don’t talk about anything to eat,” he whispered; “we’re going to have a -feast, we’re going to have a banquet, we’re going to have roast duck. -Shh! Here, take this tin. Look over there in the marshes. See? Almost -under the end of the bridge? Do you see that streak of white? Shh! -That’s a duck. He’s caught in the branches of that—shh!” - -We all tiptoed very softly about half-way across the bridge and leaned -way over the railing at the place that he pointed out to us under the -other end. There was an old fallen tree there and some of its branches -were sticking out of the water. In among them was a duck. I guessed he -must have been caught there. It seemed as if he didn’t see us or hear -us, so I thought he must be caught there in some way because ducks are -so suspicious. - -“Mm-mmm!” I said. “I can just taste him.” - -“Looks good to me,” Garry said. - -“Talk low,” said Bert. - -“Go back and wait, I’m going to get him,” the kid said. “I was the one -to discover him.” - -“I don’t care who gets him as long as I can eat him,” I said. - -“We’ll roast him, hey?” the kid whispered. “Go back and wait.” - -“Look out you don’t scare him away,” Warde said; “even if he’s caught -there he might break loose. Go easy and stalk him.” - -“You leave it to me,” the kid said. “You go back and have everything -ready. Maybe you think just because Roy and Hervey can lead us in a lot -of crazy stunts that they’re the only scouts here. But you have to thank -me for roast duck, so you see?” - -“You’re so smart you can even find a sign post——” - -“Shh-h!” he said, starting off. - -“If there’s any cranberry sauce down there bring it along, too,” I said. - -He waved his hand behind him for us to keep still, and went tiptoeing -back across the bridge. We went back to the place where we were going to -make our fire. We could see him take off his khaki shirt (so he wouldn’t -get it wet, I suppose) and hang it over the railing of the bridge. -Pretty soon we could see him down below, across the creek, crawling over -that fallen tree. - -Warde said, “This will be a big feather in Pee-wee’s cap.” - -“It will be a big helping on my plate you mean,” I said. - -“What do you mean, plate?” Bert wanted to know. - -“Look! What do you know about that? The little codger’s got him!” Garry -shouted. - -“Mm-rn!” I said. “We’ll fry the fish and eat him while we’re waiting for -the duck to cook.” - -“Let’s not bother with the fish,” I said: “Luck seems to be coming our -way at last. - -“Have you got him?” I shouted to Pee-wee as he climbed up over the -railing at the other end of the bridge. - -“Yop,” I heard him say. - -“We’ll only have to clean the fish and scale him,” Warde said, “and -it’ll be a nuisance. Let’s fry the duck instead. There’ll be plenty for -all hands because that’s a good big one. Fish only makes you thirsty, -anyway. I’m not so crazy about fish—not when there’s duck. Mmm!” - -“We should worry about the fish,” I said, and I went over to the water -and threw the fish into the water, stick and all. “He only brought us -bad luck anyway,” I said. - -“Sure,” Garry said; “give me duck any day. Look at the size of that one, -will you?” - -“I think it’s a goose,” Bert said. - -“I think it’s a swan,” Hervey said. - -“It’ll be much easier to eat a duck without any plates or knives or -forks,” I said; “we should worry about fish. We can just take the duck’s -legs and wings and—oh boy—we can just pick them dry.” - -“Hurry up with the duck,” Hervey called to Pee-wee; “we’re not going to -bother about the fish. Come on, we’re hungry.” - -By that time Pee-wee was about half-way across the bridge. “It’s a decoy -duck,” he panted out; “it’s—it’s—just made of wood——” - -“What?” I shouted. - -“What are you talking about?” Garry hollered at him. - -“This is no time for joking,” Hervey said. “Hurry up.” - -Pee-wee just came along with a kind of a shamefaced look, and I could -see that the duck didn’t hang limp. - -“It’s made of wood, it’s a decoy duck,” he said. - -None of us spoke, we just looked at him. - -“Here, take it and see for yourself,” he said to me. - -I said, “Scout Harris, alias Raving Raven, alias Animal Cracker, you -have done one good turn. You have brought your starving comrades a -wooden duck just after they threw the fish into the creek. You have done -your worst.” - -“What are you talking about?” he yelled. - -“It is true,” I told him; “the plot grows thicker. This is a funny-bone -hike and nothing happens right. Sit down and starve with us. Here, give -me the wooden duck. If we should catch a pig on this hike it would turn -out to be pig iron. If we caught a cow it would turn out to be a -cowslip. Don’t blame me, blame Hervey Willetts, he started it.” - -[Illustration: HERVEY WAS IN THE CREEK, SWIMMING FOR DEAR LIFE.] - - - - - CHAPTER XVIII - - WE MEET A FRIEND - - -All of a sudden, _splash_, Hervey was in the creek, swimming for dear -life. We all stood on the shore watching him. - -“A marathon race with a fish,” Bert shouted. - -“Follow your leader,” I yelled at Hervey. - -“Leave it to me,” Hervey spluttered, “I’ll get him.” - -Down the creek we could see a stick bobbing. Pretty soon Hervey caught -up with it and grabbed it. - -“Hurrah!” we all shouted. - -“I tell you what let’s do,” Pee-wee said. - -“Animal Cracker,” I said, “a boy scout is supposed to be polite. He’s -not supposed to kill a brother scout. But if you make any suggestions or -promise us any more eats you’re going to die a horrible death.” - -“Was I to blame because it was made of wood?” he shouted at me. - -“I’ve tasted tougher ducks than that,” Warde said. - -“Let bygones be bygones,” Garry said. “Thank goodness we’ve got our fish -back. It was a narrow escape.” - -“I’d like to know——” the kid began. - -“You don’t need to know, it’s all right,” I said. - -“You’re so smart——” he started again. - -“We’re so smart,” I told him, “that we——” - -“Will you let me speak?” he screamed. - -“No, what is it?” I said. - -“My shirt fell in the water and we haven’t got any matches,” he said. -“So what good is the fish? I’ve been trying to tell you that for five -minutes.” - -I didn’t say anything, I just lay down on the ground. The rest of them -did the same. “Follow your leader,” Garry groaned. - -“This is too much,” I said; “let me die in peace.” - -“What’s the matter?” Hervey asked, climbing out of the water with the -precious fish. - -“Oh nothing,” I said, “except Pee-wee’s shirt fell in the water over at -the other end of the bridge and we haven’t got any matches. Don’t worry, -they’ll find our bodies here; lie down, it’s all over. Pee-wee wins.” - -So there we all lay sprawled on the ground, the kid sitting up watching -us. - -“We did our best to eat and live,” I said, “but the West Shore Railroad -and turntables and sign posts and drawbridges and wooden ducks were too -much for us. Come on, I’m going to die, follow your leader.” - -“There’s a way to kindle a fire without a match,” the kid said. - -“Yes, and it sounds nice in the handbook too. But did you ever try it?” -I asked him. “Don’t talk to me. Tell my patrol that my last thoughts -were of them. Tell Westy Martin he can have my dessert at dinner; tell -him to think of me while he’s eating.” - -All of a sudden somebody shouted, “A sail! A sail! A sail on the -horizon!” - -“Same old horizon,” I said. “What kind of a sale is it now?” - -All of a sudden up jumped Pee-wee. “Good turns are like chickens,” he -said. - -“Don’t talk about chickens,” I told him; “have a heart.” - -“They come home to roast,” he said. - -“When we haven’t any matches?” I said. “That’s very kind of them. Can’t -you let me die in peace?” - -“It’s the Italian with the donkey,” he said; “the donkey we pulled off -the railroad track with the gas engine, and he’s smoking a pipe——” - -“Who? The donkey?” I asked him. - -“The man,” Pee-wee said; “so he must have matches. Hurrah!” - -We all sat up at once and stared up the road. And, oh boy, as sure as -you live, there was that old scissors-grinding wagon coming toward us, -and the donkey should have been arrested for speeding, because he was -going about two inches a year. Up on the seat sat our Italian friend, -smoking a pipe. - -“Hey, Tony!” I shouted. “Have you got any matches or sandwiches, or -sawdust or spaghetti or old scissors or pieces of leather or rye bread -or peanuts or steel nuts or pie or anything else we can eat? We’re -starving.” - -“Hey, boss, how you do?” he shouted. He was smiling all over. - - - - - CHAPTER XIX - - WE EAT - - -That man had a lot of lunch, pickles and bologna and a pail of spaghetti -and bread and everything, and there was only one thing that we didn’t -like about it, and that was that he had already eaten it about an hour -before. So it didn’t do us much good. It only made us hungrier when he -told us about it. He said, “Badda luck, hey, Boss? Spagett, ah, what -d’you call it, _nice_. You lika, huh?” - -Warde said, “We don’t like spaghetti that’s already passed into -history.” - -“We don’t like history, anyway,” I said. “But have you got any matches?” - -The man said, “Hey, sure, boss, plenty de match.” - -So he gave us some matches and about half a loaf of shiny looking bread -that he had left from his own lunch and then he went along across the -bridge. We asked him how business was and he said, “No biz.” - -After that we got our fire started and we cooked our fish on the tin -that Pee-wee had found and, yum yum, but that lunch tasted good. Maybe -if you were ever a starving mariner shipwrecked on a desert island, -you’ll know how that lunch tasted. - -We were good and tired so we sprawled around in the woods near the creek -and jollied each other, especially Pee-wee. - -Warde said, “The next time anybody mentions a funny-bone hike to me——” - -“What do you know about funny-bone hikes?” Hervey shot back. “You’ve -only seen the beginning of one. What we’ve been doing up to now is just -a demonstration.” - -“Good night, have a heart,” I said. - -Hervey just lay there on his back with one leg up in the air, catching -that crazy hat of his on his foot and trying to kick it back on his -face—honest, that fellow’s a scream. All the while he was singing: - - The land is very funny, - And the water’s very wet, - We’ve been everywhere, - But up in the air; - And we haven’t done anything yet. - -I said, “Sure, maybe if we’re patient we’ll have some mishaps. While -there’s life there’s hope.” - -“Trust to Hervey,” Bert said. - -Pee-wee said, “I could do without the mishaps if I had some more food.” - -“When you’re hungry you’re supposed to eat a little at a time,” I told -him. “Don’t you know when a man is starving they give him one spoonful -of milk to begin with? You have to get used to eating.” - -“I’m used to it already,” our young hero shouted. - -Warde said, “You’d better look out; did you ever hear about the -fish——” - -“There isn’t any more fish,” I said. - -“He was in a globe,” Warde said, “and the man that owned him took a -spoonful of water out of the globe each day until that fish gradually -learned to live on dry land.” - -“What are you talking about?” Pee-wee screamed. - -“I knew that fish personally,” Warde said; “and one day the man took him -out for a walk and the fish fell into a pond and was drowned.” - -“That’s nothing,” Hervey said. “I knew a snake that lived in the tropics -where it was very hot and he came to New York on a visit, and he fell -into a furnace and froze to death.” - -“Do you expect me to believe that?” Pee-wee yelled. - -“Sure,” Hervey said, “if I believe it you’ve got to believe it, because -I’m your leader. From this time on we’re going to play the game right, -if I’m going to be leader.” - -“We have more fun doing things wrong,” I said. - -“Sure,” he said, all the while kicking his hat; “the things may be wrong -but we’re supposed to do them right.” - -“Now I know you’re crazy,” Pee-wee said. - -“Are you all willing to play the game right?” Hervey wanted to know. - -“Anything you say,” I told him; “we’re prepared for the worst.” - -“You needn’t think I’m going without supper and breakfast,” the kid -said. - -Hervey just lay there on his back putting his hat onto his foot and -trying to kick it onto his head. - -“Are we supposed to do that?” I asked him. - -He said, “This is intermission, this is lunch hour. But when I jump up -and say, ‘Scrhlmxmi’——” - -“What?” Pee-wee yelled. - -“It’s a Greek word, it means ‘we should worry,’” I said. - -Hervey said, “I’ll tell you how it is if you want to play the game -right. You’re supposed to follow your leader in _everything_. If he -laughs, you must laugh; if he keeps still, you must keep still; if he -has a headache, you must have a headache.” - -“Do you think I’m going to have a headache just to please -you?” Pee-wee shouted in his face. “How about toothaches, -and—and—appendicitis—and——” - -“Follow your leader,” Hervey said. - -“Yes, and where will we be at supper-time?” the kid wanted to know. - -“There’s another verse that goes with that game,” Hervey said. Then he -began singing all the while trying to balance a stick on his nose while -he was lying on the ground. Gee whiz, I had to laugh, he looked so -funny. This was the song: - - On a funny-bone hike you don’t get in a rut, - The best kind of leader is one that’s a nut; - Just keep your feet moving and keep your mouth shut, - And the shortest way home is to take a long cut. - And go north, - And go south; - And go east, - And go west; - The wrong way to get there is always the best. - - - - - CHAPTER XX - - WE MAKE A PROMISE - - -After we were all rested, all of a sudden Hervey jumped up and started -off, the rest of us after him singing _Follow your leader wherever he -goes_. For a while he kept singing and we all kept singing. Sometimes he -would go zigzag on the road and we all did the same. For a little way he -held one of his legs in his hand and hopped till he fell on the ground -and the rest of us fell all over him. He did all kinds of crazy things -and whatever he said we said it after him. Pretty soon he turned off the -turnpike into another road. - -“The wrong way to get there is always the best,” he said. - -“The wrong way to get there is always the best,” I said. - -All of us said the same sentence. Gee whiz, it sounded crazy. - -Pretty soon we met a farmer and Hervey he said, “Hey, mister, can you -tell us the wrong way to the scout camp?” - -I said, “Hey, mister, can you tell us the wrong way to the scout camp?” - -Bert said, “Hey, mister, can you tell us the wrong way to the scout -camp?” - -The others said the same and the man looked at us as if he thought we -were lunatics. - -“You’re going the wrong way now,” he said. - -“Thanks very much,” Hervey said, and off he started again. - -“Maybe he’s mistaken, maybe it’s the right way and we’re going all -wrong,” I said. “Suppose he misdirected us and we get somewhere?” - -Bert said, “Trust to Hervey, we won’t get anywhere. He knows where he’s -not going.” - -“Sure, he has a fine sense of misdirection,” Garry said. - -“We’ll end in Maine,” Pee-wee said, “that’s where all the maniacs -belong. The nearer we get to Temple Camp the farther off it is.” - - “We’ve been everywhere, - But up in the air; - And we haven’t done anything yet.” - -Warde began singing. - -All of a sudden Hervey turned around and looked very severe and held his -finger to his mouth. - -“Silence,” I said; “Play the game. Can’t you keep still? If you can’t -keep still, keep quiet.” - -So then we followed him not saying a word. It was fine to hear Pee-wee -not talking. - -Pretty soon we came to a place that I knew. They call it New Corners. It -isn’t exactly new, it’s kind of slightly used. It’s a village. There’s a -sign that says New Corners; that’s so you’ll know it’s there. It’s about -as big as New York only smaller. - -Hervey turned around and said, “Let’s buy some gumdrops. Intermission; -you can all talk.” - -We had about fourteen cents altogether and we bought some gumdrops in -the post office and divided them. There was a big pole outside the -barber shop that locked like a peppermint stick and we wished that we -could eat that. When we started off again, Hervey held his hat out on -the end of a stick (he always carries a stick that fellow does) and -threw a gumdrop into his hat. - -“Follow your leader,” he said. - -I threw a gumdrop into my hat the same way, and he said, “No, you don’t, -you’re supposed to follow your leader. Each one throw a gumdrop into my -hat.” - -Oh boy, you should have seen our young Animal Cracker go up in the air. -He yelled, “What do you think I am?” - -“Play the game!” Hervey shouted. “You’re charged with insubordination.” - -“I don’t care what kind of a nation I’m charged with,” Pee-wee shouted. -“If you throw it into your hat that means I have to throw it into my -hat. Do you think I’m throwing away gumdrops? I’ll follow my leader, -but——” - -Just then Hervey threw a gumdrop into Pee-wee’s hat. - -“Maybe you’re right after all,” the kid said; “you know the rules about -the game——” - -“Now listen,” Hervey said. “Who’s got a watch that’s right?” - -“I’ve got a watch that’s right,” I said, “and it’s the only thing here -that is right.” - -“That’s because it goes around and around just like we do,” Hervey said; -“it never gets anywhere but it keeps going. You can depend on a compass -because it always points one way, but a watch keeps changing, you can’t -depend on it. One minute it says one thing and another minute it says -another thing. That’s what I don’t like about a watch.” - -“A watch would have to go some to keep up with you,” I said. - -“You couldn’t carry a watch,” Pee-wee said, “because it would fall out -of your pocket. You’re upside down half the time.” - -“You’re more like a speedometer,” I said. “What do you want my watch -for?” - -“Can’t you guess?” he said. - -“What do you want his watch for?” Pee-wee shouted, his mouth all the -while full of gumdrops. - -“To find out what time it is,” Hervey said. - -“It’s just exactly four o’clock,” I told him. - -“All hold up your hands,” he said. “Have the watch hold up its hands -too. We’re going to play this game right.” - -He said, “Not one of us is going to speak another word till we see -Temple Camp. When we see it I will be the first one to speak.” - -“I’ll be the next,” Pee-wee shouted. - -Hervey said, “The first one to speak before I do agrees to stand in -front of the bulletin board at camp to-morrow with a sign on him saying -I AM A QUITTER AND A FLUNKER, and if I speak before I see Temple Camp -I’ll do the same. How about it? Do you agree?” - -“Posilutely,” I said. “Silence is my favorite outdoor sport.” - -“Put me down,” Warde said; “I’m playing the game.” - -“I’ll be just as if I were asleep,” Garry said. - -“I talk in my sleep,” Pee-wee piped up. - -“Not one word till we see Temple Camp,” Hervey said; “how about it.” - -“I’ll die for the cause,” Bert said. - -Hervey said, “All right then; _ready_——” - -“Wait a minute,” Pee-wee said. “Wait till I think if there’s anything I -want to say before I shut up.” - -“Say it and forever after hold your peace,” I said. - -“What’s your last word?” Garry asked him. - -“My last word is that I’m hungry,” the kid shouted. - -“All right, shut up, everybody,” Hervey said, “and - - “Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows, - Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose; - Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes, - But follow your leader wherever he goes.” - -After that you couldn’t hear a sound. - - - - - CHAPTER XXI - - WE KEEP STILL - - -Now in this chapter not a single word is spoken. I bet you’ll say, -“Thank goodness for that.” My sister said this will be the best chapter -of the whole book because all of us keep still. I should worry about -her. One thing, I’m glad on account of not having to use any quotation -marks—I hate those things. - -But anyway just because our tongues weren’t going that doesn’t mean our -feet weren’t going. And I’ll tell you this much, something terrible is -going to happen. Believe me, there are worse things than talking. Maybe -it’s all right to keep still, but it got us in a lot of trouble and I’m -never going to keep still again as long as I live. Pee-wee says he isn’t -either. Hervey says it’s actions that count, but words are all right—I -like words. - -Now I don’t know whether Hervey knew where he was going or not. That -fellow knows all the country for miles around Temple Camp. He made -believe he was lost. He says no matter where you are you can’t really -get lost because you’re some place and if you just keep going you’ll -come to some place else and he says anyway one place is as good as -another. So even if you’re home maybe you’re lost. - -Anyway he kept going along that country road that branched off from the -turnpike. It was uphill and pretty soon we came to Old Corners only -there wasn’t anything left of it except an old church. I guess the rest -of the village must have rolled down the hill and started up in another -place. - -Gee whiz, I like it up there on the hill but you never can tell what a -village will do when it gets started. I was just going to say that maybe -it was on a funny-bone hike only I happened to remember about keeping -still. It was nice and quiet up on that hill—no wonder. - -Up there were three or four old houses with nobody living in them and -they were falling to pieces. The church was ramshackle, I guess it was -good and old. There was grass growing between the wooden steps and there -was moss all around on the stone step. All the windows were broken and -there was a great big spider-web across one window. There were old -shingles on the ground too, that had blown off the roof. There were -initials cut in the railing of the steps. There was an old ladder -standing up against the steeple. - -“L-l-l——” Pee-wee started to say, and just caught himself in time. - -Hervey walked straight for the ladder and up he went, with the rest of -us after him. The steeple wasn’t so high but it was pretty high. The -ladder stood against a little window maybe halfway up. Hervey crawled in -through the window and so did the rest of us. He kept looking back -holding his finger to his mouth; he looked awful funny. - -In there was a kind of a little gallery around the edge and you could -look down in through the middle. It smelled like dried wood in there; it -smelled kind of like an attic. It was terribly hot. I saw something -hanging that I thought was an old dried rag and when I grabbed it, -_swhh_, just like that it gave me a start, and I let go pretty quick -because it was a bat. We threw it out through the opening. There were a -couple more there but we didn’t bother them. They looked just like rags -that had been hung up wet and got dry hanging there—stiff like. - -[Illustration: “I LET GO PRETTY QUICK BECAUSE IT WAS A BAT.”] - -None of us said anything but just did what Hervey did as near as we -could in a little, cramped place like that. We didn’t lean on that old -wooden railing around the gallery—safety first. Down through that open -space hung a rope; it went almost to the bottom. There was a floor down -there; I guessed it was the vestibule of the old church. - -Up above us it was quite light because there were openings on the four -sides. There were a lot of beams braced all crisscross like, every which -way and there was a big bell hanging from them. The rope hung down from -above that bell. - -We could look right up into the inside of the bell, and there was a big -spider-web across it and a great big yellow spider there. The rope up -there was frayed where it touched the edge of the bell when the bell -swung. Hervey tried to reach out to the rope but the railing creaked and -I pulled him back. If we could have talked it wouldn’t have been so bad, -but it seemed kind of spooky with no one saying anything. - -There was a little ladder fastened tight against the side going up to -that place above. I guess nobody ever went up there except maybe to fix -the bell. Hervey started up. It was hard because the ladder was tight -against the wall and we didn’t have much foothold. But I wouldn’t admit -he could do anything that I couldn’t do and I guess the other fellows -felt the same about it. - -There wasn’t any place to sit or stand up there except the beams. It was -kind of like being in a tree. We perched in them the best we could. The -wood was awful dry and every time we touched it with our hands we got -splinters. But one thing, we could see out all over the country; we -could see hills and woods and trees and fields with stone walls that -looked just like lines. It was pretty hard to keep from speaking. Away, -way off I saw a kind of blue strip and I knew it was the Hudson River. I -was just starting to say “Some bird’s-eye view,” but I caught myself in -time. - -Hervey was looking down out of one of the openings and he caught my arm -and pointed. I looked down on the road. It was a crooked, rocky road, -but it looked all even and nice from up there. You could see it away, -way off just like a fresh place made with a plane, sort of. - -Going along the road was an old hay wagon with oxen and a man with a -great big straw hat driving them. On the wagon, sticking away out at -both ends, was a ladder. I looked straight down below and the ladder was -gone from against the steeple. - -I was just starting to shout after the man when Hervey clapped his hand -to my mouth and with his other hand he wrote the word QUITTER on the -wooden sill and put a question-mark after it. By that time we were all -crowding at the opening but none of us said a word. Hervey just pointed -to what he had written and looked at us. None of us called after the -man. There wasn’t any sound at all except the beams creaking when we -moved. - -It was good and spooky up there, I know that. - - - - - CHAPTER XXII - - WE HEAR A VOICE - - -Hervey just held up his finger to remind us, but anyway the man had gone -too far to hear us. - -All of a sudden Pee-wee set up a shout, “I see Temple Camp! I see Temple -Camp!” - -“Where?” I asked him, all excited. - -“I can see the pavilion!” he shouted. “I can see the lake! Hey, mister, -come back with the ladder!” - -“I guess you’re right,” Hervey said; “that’s the camp, all right.” - -“I discovered it! I discovered it!” Pee-wee yelled. “Hey, mister, come -back with that ladder! I can see Temple Camp! Come back!” - -But it wasn’t any use; the man was too far away and the breeze was the -other way, and there we were and we couldn’t do anything. - -“Why didn’t you shout sooner?” Pee-wee wanted to know, all excited. - -“You were the one to discover the camp,” Hervey said. - -“Why didn’t you shout as soon as you saw the man?” he shot back. - -“Because I made a solemn vow,” Hervey said. - -“Now we’re up against it,” the kid said. - -“We’re _up_, all right,” said Warde. “Nobody can deny that.” - -“How are we going to get down?” Pee-wee wanted to know. “That’s what you -get for making solemn vows. Solemny vows are all right but they don’t -get you any supper. I can see the smoke going up from the cooking shack. -Do you see it? Away, way off there?” - -I could see it all right, and oh boy, it looked good. I could see just a -little dab of blue, all sparkling, and I knew it was Black Lake. I could -see a speck of brown and I knew it was the pavilion. It looked as if it -might be about ten miles off. All around, no matter which way we looked, -were woods and mountains. - -“Some panorama,” Warde said. - -“You can’t eat panoramas,” the kid shouted. - -“Sure you can,” I told him. “Didn’t you ever eat an orama? They fry them -in pans; that’s why they call them panoramas; they’re fine.” - -“Yes, and we’ll be marooned here all night too,” he piped up. “There -isn’t anybody for miles around. A lot of good the view is going to do -us. This is the loneliest place I ever saw, I bet it’s haunted. I bet -that’s why everybody moved away.” - -Bert said, “I don’t believe any ghosts would stay here, it’s too lonely. -Besides, where would they buy their groceries?” - -“Ghosts don’t eat,” the kid said. - -“I hope you’ll never be a ghost then,” I told him. - -“We’re lucky,” Hervey said. “You ought to thank me for bringing you up -here. We can see just where Temple Camp is. We don’t have to depend on -sign posts that change their minds and turntables that send us back to -where we came from or anything. We can see Temple Camp with our own -eyes. Now we know which way to go.” - -“Only we can’t go there,” I said. - -He said, “That doesn’t make any difference.” - -“Sure it doesn’t,” I said. “As long as we know where camp is we’re not -lost any more. We know where we’re at. And when we get to a place where -we know where we’re at it’s a good place to stay. Deny it if you dare. -I’d rather be up here and see the camp and not be able to get there than -to be able to get there if we knew where it was but not to know where it -was.” - -“Do you call that logic?” Pee-wee yelled. “It makes it all the worse to -see it.” - -“Well, look the other way then,” I told him. - -“There’s only one place we haven’t been to so far and that’s under the -ocean,” he said. - -“Don’t get discouraged, leave it to Hervey, he’ll take us there,” I -said. “There’s a nice breeze up here. Watch out for an airplane, maybe -we’ll be rescued.” - -“Were you ever in a well?” Hervey asked us. - -“No, is it much fun?” I said. - -He said, “It’s too slow, quicksand is better, it’s quicker. I’d like to -have a ride on a shooting star.” - -“Comets are pretty good,” Garry said. - -“I was never on one of those,” I said. - -Pee-wee said, “The night is coming on. What are we going to do? I’m all -stiff from hanging onto this beam.” - -“Let’s get down on the platform again,” Hervey said. “Follow your -leader.” - -He scrambled over to the ladder and went down and we all followed him to -the gallery below. Looking out of the little window there we could see -the sun going down; it was all big and red and it made the woods all red -too away over to the west. That was where Temple Camp was. It began to -seem kind of spooky in that steeple on account of the sun going down and -everything being so quiet. The old, ramshackle houses below us, with -their roofs falling in and their windows all broken made it seem even -more lonesome where we were. Gee whiz, the woods aren’t lonesome, but -places where people used to be are lonesome. - -All of a sudden Garry said, “Listen—shh.” - -“It’s just those timbers creaking above us,” I said. - -He said, “It sounded like a voice.” - -“Well if it’s a voice up there where the bell is,” Warde said, “it -hasn’t got any body to it. I can see all around up there; I can see -inside the bell.” - -Pee-wee just stared at us, “What did I tell you?” he whispered. “Voices -without bodies, those are the worst kind. I’m not going to stay up here -after dark, I’m——” - -“Shh—listen,” Warde said. - -“You mean away off there in the woods?” I said. “I hear that.” - -“No, not that,” he said; “right above us. Listen. Hear it?” - -“Kind of like murmuring?” I asked him. - -“Right up there by the bell,” he said. - -We all stood stark still, listening. Maybe that bell was thirty or forty -feet above us. Just as plain as could be I could hear a sort of -murmuring up there. I can’t tell you what it was like, but anyway it -wasn’t the timbers creaking or anything like that. It was like a voice. -But nobody was up there. It was kind of like _H-l-l-l_. - -Gee whiz, it gave me the shudders to listen to it. - - - - - CHAPTER XXIII - - WE GO TO THE RESCUE - - -Oh boy, I have to admit I was scared. Even Hervey didn’t start joking -about it, but just listened. Away, way off somewhere I could hear -something like a voice, but it wasn’t that that we heard above us. - -All of a sudden Hervey said, “I’m not going to hang around here any -longer, you can bet. I don’t like this place. I don’t want to spend the -night here. Come on, follow your leader, take a chance.” - -Before I had a chance to grab him he had reached out across the railing -into the open space and got hold of the bell rope. It was beyond his -reach so he had to sort of jump for it. I guess it was his jumping and -his weight both that made the rope go down, but anyway it went down -enough to rock the bell sideways. - -It was the creaking that made me look up, and then I saw the bell -standing that way. It didn’t ring because there wasn’t any tongue in it -but just as plain as could be, I could hear a voice in that bell say, -“_Help._” It just sent a kind of a shudder through me to hear it. Then -the bell swung down again because Hervey’s weight on the rope wasn’t -enough to hold it up that way. In a few seconds I could hear Hervey -dropping from the end of the rope to the ground down below, and calling, -“Follow your leader wherever he goes.” - -But just the same none of us moved. - -“Coming down?” he called. But we didn’t answer him. - -“What is it?” Bert asked in a whisper. - -“You heard it,” I said. “You know as much about it as I do. There’s a -spook here.” - -“The place is haunted,” Pee-wee whispered, all excited. - -“Let’s go down,” Garry said. “I’d rather take a chance on that rope than -to stay up here. Listen.” - -We all listened but the voice above us didn’t call again. - -“It’s a spirit in the bell, that’s what it is,” the kid said. “It’s a -voice without any body to it—in the bell.” - -None of us wanted to stay up there, I guess, but just the same none of -us wanted to move. It just seemed as if we _couldn’t_ move. - -Pretty soon Warde said, “Wait a minute, let me get hold of that rope.” - -He climbed over the old wooden railing and held on with one hand while -he reached out with the other one. Then, all of a sudden, he was -swinging on the rope and as sure as I live, just in that minute the -voice above called, “Help.” - -We just stood there, all trembling. Pee-wee’s eyes were starting out of -his head. - -All of a sudden I heard Warde call, “Wait till I get down and then come -down after me. Don’t be scared. There isn’t anything in the bell, it’s -some one in the woods. The bell throws the voice down when it’s pulled -up sideways. It’s a reflex echo, if you know what that is. Come ahead -down one at a time. You should worry about spooks.” - -We didn’t hear the voice every time one of us swung off on the rope. -Maybe the voice away off didn’t call just at the right time or maybe not -all of us were heavy enough. But once or twice we heard it again. It -sounded good and clear. Bert came down. He was the last one and he was -the heaviest. - -Now that’s just the way it was—the way I told you. That’s the nearest I -ever came to a ghost in my life. When the bell swung up sideways it -swung toward the west. Warde explained just how it was. So if you don’t -believe me you can ask him. There was a voice somewhere that we could -hardly hear. But when the bell swung up it caught the voice _inside it_ -and when it swung down it threw the voice down; it kind of brought the -voice down and dropped it out. And because the bell was hollow and made -of metal it made the voice louder and stronger. - -That’s the only way I can tell you, but it’s true and echoes like that -are called reflex echoes, only I guess nobody heard of a reflex echo -exactly like that before. In echoes like that you hear the echo when you -can’t really hear the voice. When that bell was hanging the sound waves -(that’s what you call them) struck the outside slanting part of the bell -and were reflected _up_. But when the bell swung it caught the sound -inside it and just sort of tumbled it out on us. - -So if you ever go to Old Corners you’ll see a sign on that old church -that we put there and it says ECHO CHIMES. Then it tells you just -exactly where to go in the woods in order to make an echo like the one -that scared us so. Maybe you wonder how we found out just where to go in -the woods. So that’s what I’m going to tell you in the next chapter. -Because it was a real voice away off somewhere in the woods that was -calling for help. The funny part of it was that we heard the reflex echo -but we didn’t hear the voice. I bet you’ll say I’m smart when you read -all this but, gee whiz, I guess you’d call it reflex smartness because I -got it all from Warde Hollister. - - - - - CHAPTER XXIV - - WE DROP DEAD-ALMOST - - -We crossed the road and hit into the woods going straight west. We knew -which way to go because it was when the bell swung up that we got the -echo, and because it swung toward the setting sun. - -Every little while one of us had to climb a tree to see where the sun -was. Lucky for us Temple Camp was in that direction, and beside the sun -we had the smoke from the cooking shack to guide us. We took turns -climbing the trees. - -We didn’t play Follow Your Leader because our minds were on rescuing -that person who was calling for help. - -“I’m glad Temple Camp is in the same direction,” Warde said, “because -I’m good and hungry.” - -“I’m going to eat dinner and supper all in one when we get back,” -Pee-wee said. - -“I could eat hardtack or upholstery tacks or carpet tacks or gilt-headed -tacks, I’m so hungry,” I said. - -“I’d like to have—one—big—chunk—of chocolate cake,” said Garry. - -“I’d eat a cake of soap,” I said. - -Pee-wee kept trudging along, not saying much; he was thinking about -supper, I suppose. He was in a better humor because he knew for sure we -were headed for camp. Hervey kept going ahead of us and shinning up -trees till he could see the smoke at camp. Every little while we all -shouted together but no voice answered. - -“The breeze is the other way,” Warde said; “maybe he can hear us even -though we can’t hear him. Whoever it is he’s probably lost and rattled. -Let’s shout to him to stay where he is. We don’t want both parties -moving around, it only doubles the work.” - -So we stopped and all crowded together so as to make our voices as much -like one voice as we could and shouted “Stay—where—you—are— -we’re—coming.” - -We listened for a few seconds and then we could hear a voice, very thin -and far off. It sounded like R-i-i-i. We guessed it meant “All right.” - -We cut through the woods faster after that and pretty soon we called and -the voice answered, and so we didn’t have to bother any more climbing -trees. We were pretty tired and hungry but I guess we all felt good. - -“They’ll never believe all the adventures we had,” Pee-wee panted, -“because we can’t prove them. The best way is always to bring back some -proof, hey?” - -“Did you expect us to bring back the turntable and the sign post and the -drawbridge and a couple of West Shore trains?” I asked him. - -“In my patrol you have to prove all tests,” he said. - -“That’s easy,” I told him, “because no one in that patrol ever passes -any tests. All they know how to pass is the eats. Some of them don’t -even know enough to pass the time of day.” - -“You think you’re so smart,” he said. “Which is better? Some crullers or -a scout?” - -“Is it a riddle?” I asked him. “Why is a raving raven like a cruller? -Because he’s twisted. Ask me another. What’s that got to do with taking -tests?” - -“When you took Test Four for a second-class scout,” he said, “you -tracked half a mile and took a scout with you. I went alone. I tracked -half a mile to Johnson’s Bakery and bought ten cents’ worth of crullers -for proof. A witness might lie but crullers don’t lie.” - -“How many witnesses did you have in the paper bag when you got back?” -Garry wanted to know. - -“Every test I ever took I brought back the proof,” the kid said. “I -don’t bother with witnesses, I don’t.” - -I said, “Sure, when he had to tell the points of the compass he went and -brought home the North Pole and the South Pole and the East Pole and the -West Pole to prove it.” - -“Silent witnesses are best, that’s what our patrol leader says,” the kid -shouted. “That’s the way we have to do in our patrol.” - -“Listen to who’s talking about silence,” I said. “Don’t make me laugh. -We should have brought the reflex echo home with us to prove we were up -in that steeple.” - -“Maybe we’ll take the original voice home with us, that’s better, hey?” -Warde said. - -That reminded us to call again, and that time the voice answered good -and plain. - -“Sit down and take it easy, we’re coming,” Garry shouted. - -Pretty soon we could see a brown hat in among the trees. - -“It’s a scout,” Bert said. - -“He must be a tenderfoot to be lost five or six miles from camp,” Hervey -said. “All he had to do was to climb a tree.” - -“I know who he is!” Pee-wee started shouting; “it’s Willie Cook. He’s -the new member of my patrol. He comes from East Bridgeboro.” - -“You ought to tie a cow-bell around his neck the next time you let him -roam around in the woods,” Bert said. - -I said, “Sure. Why don’t you make him play in the backyard? Safety -first. He’s a raving Raven, all right; he’s lost and he can _prove _it.” - -“He isn’t trusting to witnesses,” Bert said; “he’s lost and he knows -it.” - -I said, “That’s one thing I like about the raving Ravens; they’re always -sure of themselves. When one of them gets lost he knows it.” - -“You make me tired!” Pee-wee yelled. “He’s a tenderfoot. He’s going to -be the best scout in my patrol——” - -“That’s easy,” I said. “Maybe he isn’t the best scout in camp, I’m not -saying, but he’s the best scout that’s lost in the woods. A scout is -thorough. He’s some scout all right; when he gets lost he gets good and -lost.” Then I shouted, “What’s the matter, Kid? Lost, strayed or -stolen?” - -The poor kid just stared at us and smiled as if he thought we had saved -his life. - -“I’m—I’m mixed up,” he said; “I started and I came back to the same -place and I don’t know where I am. Are you—did you come from camp?” - -I said, “No, we’re on our way there. Calm down, you’re all right. The -camp is about six miles west. What are you doing here, anyway?” - -“I’m—I’m doing a—a test,” he said. - -Hervey Willetts just rolled on the ground and screamed. All the rest of -us started to laugh except Pee-wee. - -“These fellows are crazy,” the kid said; “don’t you mind them.” - -“I’ve—I’ve got to cook some food,” the little fellow said, all kind of -confused. - -“What? Where?” I shouted. - -“Lead us to it!” Bert yelled. - -“What do you mean—_food_?” Garry said. - -“I—I come first!” Pee-wee shouted, all excited. “He’s in my patrol! -Where’s the food?” - -“I’ve got to cook it and take it home for a proof,” the kid said. - -Just then we all fell on the ground. I guess he thought we were dead. - - - - - CHAPTER XXV - - WE PROVE IT - - -When I recovered from winning the laughing badge I said, “What’s the -idea, Kiddo? Did you think you could win the forestry badge by being -lost in the forest?” - -“Don’t listen to him, he’s crazy,” Pee-wee shouted at Willie Cook. - -I said, “The next thing you’ll be trying to win the electricity badge by -being struck by lightning.” Our young tenderfoot hero, Scout Cook, said, -“If I can do Tests Five and Eight I’ll be a second-class scout. It’s all -right if you give them good measure, isn’t it?” - -I said, “Sure, but I wouldn’t give them a whole world tour for a two -mile hike in these days of the high cost of hiking. Test Five says you -must hike a mile and back. You must have hiked about a dozen miles. What -are you going to do now?” - -“Are you sure I’m a mile away from camp?” he asked me. - -“Positively guaranteed,” I told him. “You’ll find out before you get -back.” - -“I’m going to do two tests at once,” he said. - -“Boy, but you’re reckless,” Garry said. “What’s the other test?” - -He said, “It’s Test Eight. I’ve got to cook this meat and these -potatoes. See? And I’m going to put my initials on a tree to prove I -hiked this far, and I’m going to take the food back to prove I cooked -it. Because you have to prove things, don’t you?” - -“Ask Scout Harris,” I said; “he’s in your patrol. He knows all about -laws and food and everything.” - -Gee whiz, I knew those two tests well enough—Five and Eight. One says a -scout must go a mile—scout pace he’s supposed to go. The other says he -must cook a quarter of a pound of meat and two potatoes without any -cooking utensils. That kid had about a dozen potatoes and a couple of -pounds or so of meat, ready to cook. - -“Where did you get all this?” I asked him. - -“I bought them at a butcher’s in Berryville and if I cook them and take -them back will I be a second-class scout?” - -“Positively guaranteed,” I told him. “The more you take back the more of -a scout you’ll be. Ask Scout Harris.” - -“They’re all crazy,” Pee-wee told him; “don’t pay any attention to them. -We’ll cook the things and eat them. You’re supposed to be generous, -you’re supposed to help a fellow scout. Anyway, all you need to take -back is a quarter of a pound of meat and two potatoes, but you don’t -even need to take that much because I’ll testify that you cooked them. -All these fellows will testify.” - -“Yes, but you said they’re all crazy,” Willie Cook piped up. - -“A—eh—a crazy fellow can testify, can’t he?” Pee-wee shouted. “Anyway -if I testify it’s enough; everybody at Temple Camp knows me. Unwrap the -bundle and let’s cook the stuff; we haven’t had anything but one fish -and a bite of chocolate each since breakfast——” - -“Two bites,” Garry said; “and don’t forget the roast duck.” - -Oh boy! Laugh? I just stood there shaking. There stood poor little -Willie Cook holding his greasy bundle behind him and backing away so -Pee-wee couldn’t grab it. - -“Are you going to be generous and help a fellow scout or not?” he was -shouting. “Don’t you know a scout is supposed to save life? You -get—a—a gold medal for that. We haven’t had anything to eat——” - -“Except roast duck,” I said. - -“Will you keep still!” he yelled. - -Willie Cook just looked at me, kind of scared, and he said, “I’m going -to do what this fellow says because he’s a patrol leader. I heard a -scout at camp say so.” - -“Bully for you, Kid,” I said; “you just follow me and you can’t go -right! Can he, Hervey?” - -“Except by accident,” Hervey said. - -“Sure, and we don’t have that kind of accidents,” I told the kid. -“You’re right. Proof is more important than appetites. Isn’t it, Garry?” - -“Will you stop your crazy nonsense and let’s cook the food?” Pee-wee -screamed. “You all make me tired! Here’s a lot of food—All he needs to -take back, anyway, is about one potato and a little piece of meat——” - -The little fellow looked at Pee-wee and then he looked at me as if he -didn’t know what to do. - -I said, “If he had only hiked one mile it would have been all right to -go back with one potato, but he’s been roaming all over the woods, miles -and miles, and so he needs to take back more proof; he needs all the -proof he has. He’s a good Raven. Come on, Kid, cook the things and put -your initials here and then we’ll all go back to camp and show them the -stuff. When the raving Ravens see those nice brown potatoes and that -meat cooked just as if you were the chef of the Waldorf Castoria they’ll -hand you the second-class badge. Won’t they, Scout Harris?” - -“Do you think it’s smart getting him all mixed up?” Pee-wee just yelled. -“You think you’re funny with all your crazy nonsense. Don’t you know Law -Three says a scout must be prepared at all times to save life, and don’t -you know we’re nearly starving? Do you think I’m going to funny-bone -hike all around the Catskill Mountains just to please you and never eat -anything? I’m not going to go another step till I have something to eat, -I can tell you that!” - -“The handbook——” I began saying. - -“Do you think I can eat the handbook?” he shrieked at me. “You and your -crazy talk! Come on, let’s get a fire started. I’ll see that he gets his -badge all right. You leave it to me.” - -“Just the same as you got us a roast duck,” I said. - -“Do you deny that you’re hungry?” he yelled. - -“I admit it,” I said, “but duty calls——” - -Just then the poor little tenderfoot handed me his precious bundle; I -guess he thought it would be in safer keeping. And in about two seconds -the whole six of us were scrambling for it. And in about a half a minute -we had a fire started. - -I said, “Kiddo, proof is all right, but the proof of the pudding is in -the eating. Pee-wee is right and I’m wrong as he usually is. If the -testimony of five scouts and a half isn’t enough to prove what you did -all the meat in the Chicago stock markets wouldn’t do it. Don’t worry, -leave it to us; you’ll get the second-class badge all right. Testifying -on merit and class tests is our middle name. There’s only one thing we -do better than that, and that is eat. And we’re ready to give you the -PROOF, hey, Hervey?” - -“That’s us,” Hervey said. “I just thought up a new way to get lost on -the way back. If we don’t look out we’ll bunk into Temple Camp.” That -poor little tenderfoot looked from one to the other of us as if he -thought we sure were crazy. I guess he was right. We should worry. - - - - - CHAPTER XXVI - - WE SEE A HOUSE - - -So then Willie Cook cooked his meat and potatoes and as long as he was a -tenderfoot and didn’t know much about scouting we showed him how scouts -eat. We let him keep one potato and about an ounce of meat to take back -to camp for evidence to show to the raving Ravens. After that we felt -pretty good so we sprawled around and rested a while. - -Scout Cook said, “Are you going straight back to camp?” - -“Not straight,” Hervey said, “but we’re on our way there. If it’s where -it was this morning, we’re going to go to it. I suppose it was there -when you left, wasn’t it?” - -“It’s usually there,” Bert said. - -“Don’t pay any attention to them,” Pee-wee said to his new member; -“they’ve been acting like that all day. They’ve been going around and -around and around like a chicken with its head off. Hervey Willetts and -Roy Blakeley are the worst of the lot.” - -“Sure, we’re each worse than the other if not more so,” I said. “The -question is, where do we go from here?” - -“We go straight west to Temple Camp,” Pee-wee shouted; “we’re not going -to, what d’you call it, deviate.” - -“Call it whatever you want, I don’t care,” I said. - -“And we’re going to go pretty soon, too,” the kid said; “we’re going to -go while the column of smoke from the cooking shack is still going up. -We can’t see the sun any more; we haven’t got anything to follow but the -smoke.” - -“Wrong the first time,” I said. “We’ve got Hervey Willetts to follow. -I’d rather follow him than the sun; the sun always goes to the same -place; he goes every which way. There’s no pep to the sun. Is there, -Scout Cook?” - -I guess the poor little kid thought we were a pack of lunatics. He -didn’t know what to say. - -“What time did you leave camp?” I asked him. - -He said, “About one o’clock; just after the bus came with a lot of new -scouts. There’s a big troop coming to-night and Uncle Jeb has got to -send them to Bear Mountain Camp because there aren’t any more tents or -cabins to put them in. I’d rather stay at Temple Camp, wouldn’t you?” - -“The only place I like to stay at is nowhere,” Hervey said; “and I don’t -care to stay very long even there. Why didn’t the bunch in -Administration Shack let that troop know before they started, I wonder?” - -“The troop sent a telegram,” Willie Cook said. - -“What do you say we hike to Bear Mountain to-night?” Hervey said. - -“Are there bears there?” Willie wanted to know. - -I said, “No, they call it Bear Mountain because all the scouts go round -in their bare feet up there. Give me Temple Camp every time; there’s -only one thing I don’t like about it, and that is going home from it.” - -“If you like it so much it’s a wonder you don’t go there,” Pee-wee -shouted. “You’ve been going there all day and none of us are there yet. -Pretty soon the smoke will die down and then what? You know yourself you -can’t trust signboards or anything up here. We know that column of smoke -is in the west because that’s where the sun went down and we know that -Temple Camp is the only place that sends up a big column of smoke like -that. Are you going to stop your nonsense and follow it or not?” - -“We don’t need the smoke,” Warde said. “See that roof right in line with -the smoke? All we have to do is to follow the roof——” - -“We’ll climb over it,” Hervey said. - -“Let the smoke die down. What do we care?” Garry said. “The roof won’t -die down; that’s a sure beacon.” - -All of a sudden Hervey jumped up. “Follow your leader,” he said. - -So off we started with little Willie Cook coming along behind and trying -to keep up with us while we sang: - - Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows, - Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose; - Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes, - But follow your leader wherever he goes. - - - - - CHAPTER XXVII - - WE LOSE OUR BEARINGS - - -The kid shouted, “Are you going straight to camp or not? Are there going -to be any more detours?” - -“Not exactly detours,” Hervey said; “just a few small scallops to vary -the monotony. We’re on our way home. We’re following the smoke and we’re -headed straight for the cooking shack; follow your leader. The way I -figure it out we ought to land on the stove.” - -“We ought to land in the zink,” Garry said. - -“The zink would do just as well, follow your leader,” Hervey said. “I’m -aiming straight for the dishpan full of cookies. Have courage, follow -your leader wherever he goes, don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or -oppose——” - -Gee whiz, I can’t tell you of all the crazy things that fellow did, -singing all the while. He swung into trees and went round and round them -till we were all dizzy and didn’t know what we were singing. He kept -going in and out around two trees till he had us all staggering and -singing: - - Don’t ask where you’re opposed, - But follow your nose wherever supposed; - N’ snows n’ suppose wherever goes. - -“Wait a minute!” I shouted. “Where’s that roof? I don’t see it.” - -“It’s still there,” Hervey said. “Don’t start to whrrrever yr leader -suppose in the toes when it starts to suppose.” - -“Be careful don’t stub and go flunking your nose,” Pee-wee shouted. - -“N’ flow—flow—yr—flunked—wrvr—goes,” poor little Willie Cook sang. - -“Have a heart,” I said. - -“Do you see the roof?” Garry asked. - -I just sank down to the ground. “I see forty-eleven roofs and -eighty-nine col-ol-ol-ums of smoke—oke,” I told him. - -“We’re get—tet—ing there,” Hervey said. - -We all just sprawled on the ground for about ten minutes, dead to the -world. - -“Sure, we’re nearly there,” I said. - -After a little while Scout Harris sat up and set up a howl. - -“What’s the matter now?” I asked him. - -“The smoke! The smoke!” he shouted. “It isn’t in line with the roof any -more! Look!” - -I sat up and looked. - -“Temple Camp has moved away or something,” he yelled. - -I said, “That’s very funny, the smoke must be blowing.” - -“You’re crazy,” he said, all excited. “You can see the chimney even, and -the roof isn’t in line with it!” - -I said, “All right, don’t call me crazy, call the smoke crazy. I didn’t -do it, did I?” - -“Just the same that’s mighty funny,” Warde said. - -“Sure,” I said; “if it wasn’t funny it wouldn’t be here.” - -“Don’t get rattled,” Hervey said, “_we’re_ here; we’re just where we -were. Don’t lose your morale.” - -“I lost my potatoes,” Willie Cook piped up. - -“Pee-wee’s eating one of them,” I said. - -There sat Scout Harris, with black all around his mouth, munching a -roasted potato and staring off to the west with eyes as big as saucers. - -I have to admit it was funny. When we had first seen that roof it was -between us and the smoke from camp, maybe half-way. It seemed as if it -might be on the road at the western edge of the woods. - -Across that road were more woods and in those farther woods was the -camp. Now the smoke was rising to the _left_ of the roof. It might have -been partly on account of the smoke blowing and partly on account of our -being dizzy, that’s what I thought. - -So I said, “We should worry. I’ve been to Temple Camp every summer for -several years and it’s always stayed in the same place. It’s not like we -are. All we’ve lost are our bearings and one potato. That roof is in a -bee-line with Temple Camp. When we get to the road where the house is I -know the way to camp all right without any smoke beacons. There’s a -trail through the farther woods. Let the smoke die. What do we care? The -boy scouts will live forever. Let’s take a good rest and sort of get -sobered up so we’re not seeing things and then let’s make a bee-line for -that house. If Hervey will lead us to that house I’ll lead the party to -camp from there.” - -“Come on, follow your leader,” Hervey said. And with that he rolled over -and laid his head on his arm. All the rest of us did the same and pretty -soon we were fast asleep. No wonder. - - - - - CHAPTER XXVIII - - WE ARE DEAD TO THE WORLD - - -Now in this chapter we are all asleep so nothing happens. If anything -happened I don’t know about it. Anyway I’m not to blame for what the -landscape does. I never had any use for geography, anyway; I never -trusted it. And I’ll never trust it again as long as it lives. - -So that’s why this chapter is so short, because we’re all asleep. - - - - - CHAPTER XXIX - - WE WAKE UP - - -Now there’s going to be something doing again because we woke up. While -we were asleep the smoke from the cooking shack died. I guess they were -all through cooking supper at camp. The sun had gone down too. The part -of the sky where it had gone down was all bright—red kind of. So we -knew that was the west. - -The roof we had seen wasn’t in line with it, but you can’t exactly say a -thing is in line with a bright part of the sky. The column of smoke had -been right behind that little roof, maybe two miles from it, so we -decided to use that roof for a beacon. That would take us to the road -and from there I knew the trail through the other woods. - -I have to admit we were all about ready to go home by then. We were all -pretty tired after that crazy day. If they would have to send a new -troop away on account of there not being accommodations, that would mean -the bus would go down to Catskill again and I wanted to get to camp in -time to send a letter home. I didn’t like to think about a troop being -sent away but it served them right for not writing beforehand. Every -tent and every cabin was crowded that summer. - -I said to Hervey, “If you want to be the leader all right, but from now -on we’re going straight for camp. I admit you’re too much for the rest -of us. You ought to live in a volcano or a cyclone or something like -that. I’m good and tired. See if you can make a bee-line to that little -roof and then we’ll know we’re going straight for camp.” - -“And when you get to camp stop there,” Warde said. - -“I hope he bunks into the pavilion, that’ll be the only thing to stop -him,” Garry said. - -“This time, it’s positively guaranteed,” Hervey said; “I’m going -straight west till I bunk right into that house.” - -“Keep your eye on the roof,” Bert said, “because that’s the only way we -can be _sure_ we’re going right.” - -“Ready, _go”_ Hervey said. - -That time we kept going straight ahead without any nonsense—right -straight for that roof. - -“I’d like to have a picture of our travels to-day,” Warde said. - -“It would look like the trail of a snake with blind staggers,” I told -him. “After to-day I’m going to have some sense.” - -“Not if you follow Hervey Willetts,” Warde said. - -Hervey said, “I know a better game; it’s called the flip-flop sprint. -Did you ever try the razzle-dazzle roam? You have to keep going east -while you keep your west eye shut. The hole-in-the-ground hop is a good -one too. When shall we try it?” - -“We’ll try it day after yesterday,” I said; “think of the west and keep -your eye on that roof.” - -“Absolutely, positively,” Hervey said; “we couldn’t go wrong now if we -tried.” - -“Don’t try,” Pee-wee shouted. - -“Be sure that the right way is always the best,” I said. “I don’t care -what that song of yours says.” - -Pretty soon we got to where the woods were not so thick and we could see -the road ahead. We couldn’t exactly see it because it was sort of in a -hollow but we could see the hollow, and by that time we could see the -rest of the house, or most of it. - -“We’ll cut right through the woods in back of it,” Warde said. - -I said, “Thank goodness, we’ll be home in fifteen minutes.” - -“Follow me and you can’t go wrong,” Hervey said. “I’m aiming straight -for my place at the mess-board.” - -“Don’t aim for mine,” Pee-wee shouted at him. Then Hervey began singing: - - Some scouts prefer to hike around, - We don’t, - And cover miles and miles of ground, - we don’t. - And roam and roam and roam and roam, - And roam some more and roam and roam; - And never _never_ go back home, - we don’t. - -“Look!” Pee-wee yelled at the top of his voice. “The smoke! Look! It’s -way off there!” - -We all looked and _g-o-o-d night_, there was the column of smoke away, -way to the north of us, and there, as sure as I’m sitting here writing, -was that little house right straight ahead of us, about fifty yards off. - -“The plot grows thicker!” I said, just leaning limp against a tree. -“We’ve been going farther and farther away from camp all the time. -Chocolate Drop must be burning up refuse. Where are we at, anyway?” - -“The world is upside down!” Garry said. - -“It’s inside out,” Bert shouted. - -“That house right in front of us was in direct line with camp,” Warde -said. - -“The Catskill Mountains are crazy!” Pee-wee shouted. “Remember the way -they did with Rip Van Winkle? Everything is crazy! Where are we at? The -nearer we get the farther we go. This country is haunted.” - -“Search me,” I said. “The sun must have set in the east, that’s the only -way _I_ can explain it. That house there was _in a bee-line with the -camp when we started_. I’ll leave it to Hervey.” - -“Don’t leave it to him,” Pee-wee shouted; “you’ll only make it worse. Do -you think I want to land on the moon?” - - - - - CHAPTER XXX - - WE FIGURE IT OUT - - -I said, “Let’s sit down and think it over and figure it out by geometry; -let’s not get excited. Three things were in a bee-line, the cooking -shack and the house and we ourselves. Deny it if you can. The smoke died -and we hiked straight for the house. Didn’t we? Now here we are almost -at the house and the smoke is there again, and it’s the same chimney and -it’s way out north of us and we’ve been hiking southwest. What’s the -answer?” - -“It’s all because Hervey Willetts is leading us,” Pee-wee shouted. “If -that fellow started to go across the street he’d end at—at—at South -Africa—he would.” - -“Are we going to get lost again?” little Willie Cook piped up. - -“Again?” I said. “Excuse me while I laugh. We’ve got the babes in the -woods beaten twenty-eleven ways. I wish we had a compass.” - -“I wouldn’t believe one if you had it,” Pee-wee shouted. - -“Let’s hustle and follow the smoke while it’s still going up,” Warde -said. - -“It’s dying down!” Pee-wee shouted. - -“Let it die,” I said. “I’m going to find out what happened. If the earth -is off its axis we ought to know it.” - -“We’ll have to hike to the North Pole,” Hervey said. - -“Oh sure, start off,” I told him; “we’ll follow you.” - -“I want to know how a bee-line got bent,” Bert said. - -“I never knew Temple Camp to do such a thing before as long as I’ve -known it,” I said. “I’m surprised at Temple Camp. I don’t understand it. -It’s trying to escape us.” - -“We’ll foil it yet,” Hervey said. “When it comes to hide-and-seek that’s -my middle name. I intend to go to Temple Camp now just for spite. We’ll -each go in a different direction and surround it and close in on it. -What do you say?” - -“Suppose we start east again?” I said. “Maybe that’ll take us there -because Temple Camp is north. We’ll make a flank move.” - -Pee-wee said, very dark and determined like, “I’m going to follow that -chimney. The rest of you can go where you want to.” - -“First let’s go to the house and get a drink of water,” Warde said. - -So then we went on till we came to the road, and _g-o-o-d night_, there -we stood on the edge of the embankment, staring. - -_“Well_—_what_—_do_—_you_—_know_—_about_—_that_?” one of the -fellows just blurted out. - -“I knew it all the time,” I said; “that house is not to be trusted. I’ll -never trust another house as long as I live, I don’t care if it’s a -Sunday School even. I wouldn’t trust a public school.” - -The rest of them were laughing so hard they just couldn’t speak. There -in the road just below us was a great big wagon with a kind of a trestle -on it. And on that wagon was a little house. There were four horses -hitched to the wagon and a funny looking man was driving them. He wasn’t -driving them exactly because they were standing still. One of the wheels -of the wagon was ditched alongside the road. That house had been pulled -quite a long way south along the road while we were asleep. Take my -advice and never use a house for a beacon. - -I called, “Hey, mister, where are you going with the house?” - -We all sat on the high bank and looked at it. The horses were straining -and trying to pull the wagon out. The house was so wide it filled up the -whole road. - -“It’s a portable garage,” Warde said. - -I said, “Hey, mister, is that a portable garage?” The man called back, -“No, can’t you see it’s a load of hay?” - -“No sooner said than stung,” I said. - -“Maybe you don’t know we’ve been following that house,” I said. - -The man said, “Well, if you follow it you’re not likely to get far.” - -Hervey said, “Oh we don’t care, we’d just as soon be here as anywhere. -It’s all the same to us.” - -“We’re glad you didn’t get any farther with it,” Warde said. “We’ve been -trying to go west by following the roof of that thing while it was going -south.” - -The man said, “I’m sorry if I led you astray. I seem to have reached the -end of my journey.” - -“You’re lucky,” I said. “We’ve been going around and around like the -mainspring of a watch all day.” - -The man said, kind of laughing, “You seem to be wound up.” - -“Sure, we go for eight days,” Garry said. “What are you going to do with -the garage?” - -“Well, I’m going to sell it for a chicken-coop if you must know,” the -man said. “Pretty soon you’ll know as much as I do, won’t you?” - -“Where did you come from?” Pee-wee shouted down. - -“I came from Ireland,” the man said. - -“I mean to-day,” Pee-wee called back. - -The man said, “Oh, to-day I came from Gooseberry Centre.” - -“I don’t blame you,” Hervey said; “I was there the other day. If I were -a garage I wouldn’t stay there; not if I were a portable one.” - -“The land I had was sold over my head,” the man said. - -“You mean under your feet,” Pee-wee shouted. - -The man just looked up kind of laughing and he said, “Well, since you -seem to be so smart and clever maybe you can think of a way to get me -out of this hole.” - -“Sure we can,” Hervey said. “Where do you want to go?” - -I called, “Just say where you want to go and he’ll take you somewhere -else.” - -“Anyway,” Pee-wee shouted, “do you claim that chickens are as important -as boy scouts?” Gee whiz, I didn’t know what he was driving at. - - - - - CHAPTER XXXI - - WE MAKE A BARGAIN - - -The man said, “I should have kept out of that rut; now I’m in a nice -pickle.” - -“Don’t you care,” I said, “we’ve been getting into the wrong places all -day and we’re happy.” - -“Pickles aren’t so bad,” Pee-wee shouted; “I wouldn’t mind being in a -whole barrel of pickles. We’ll help you out, only if you’re not charging -too much for that garage we’d like to buy it if you’ll cart it to Temple -Camp. We’ll give you more than the chickens will give you. There’s a -troop up at camp that haven’t got any accommodations and they’ll be -coming along in the jitney bus pretty soon. Hey, mister, will you sell -us the garage? We’ll give you fourteen cents deposit on it right now.” - -“Sure,” I said, “you can take a mortgage for the rest; good idea. -Pee-wee, you’re a brick.” - -“It’s an inspiration,” Pee-wee said; “we’ll wind our funny-bone hike up -with a crazy good turn, hey? We’ll furnish accommodations. Troops don’t -have to go to houses because the houses come to them. Everything is the -other way round. While they’re on their way back to Catskill Landing -they’ll meet a house and we’ll put them in it and send them back to -camp.” - -“Good idea,” Hervey shouted; “accommodations delivered while you wait; -take your house home with you. Let’s all climb up on the top of it.” - -“Wait a minute,” Warde said, “this man thinks we’re crazy. Do you mean -what you say? If you do I’ll talk to him.” - -“We mean a good deal more than what we say,” I said; “that’s a good -suggestion of Pee-wee’s and I say let’s follow it. No troop shall leave -Temple Camp on account of a house. If they come along the road they -shall not pass. We’ll put them in the house and send them back. We defy -everything and everybody. What do we care about the housing shortage?” - -Warde said, “Well then, keep still a minute and let me talk to the man.” -He has a lot of sense, Warde has, I’m glad I’m not him. - -He said, “Hey, mister, we’re boy scouts and we belong at Temple Camp -that’s over there in the woods near Black Lake. This road goes around -through Hink’s Junction and around through Pine Hollow to the camp. We -were going to take the short cut through the woods but we followed this -house instead. So now we think we’d like to buy it and we’ll take it to -Temple Camp.” - -“We’ll take turns carrying it,” Garry said. - -Warde said, “Will you keep still so he’ll know we’re in earnest?” - -“It’s a business proposition,” Pee-wee said; “shut up and let Warde -talk.” - -Then Warde said, just as if he really meant it, he said, “We’d like to -buy this portable garage if you’ll sell it to us and take it to Temple -Camp. We’ll get you out of the ditch all right when the jitney bus comes -along. How much do you want for it?” - -The man said he was carting it to Pine Hollow because a farmer there -said he would buy it. But he said if we really meant that we wanted it -he’d sell it for fifty dollars. He said we’d have to pay him ten dollars -more for hauling because Temple Camp was farther than Pine Hollow. - -“The house will have a good home as long as it lives,” Bert said. “There -are plenty of fresh milk and eggs and everything at Temple Camp.” The -man said he guessed there were plenty of fresh scouts there too, if the -rest of them were like us. He said he didn’t care much about the garage -anyway and he was only taking it away because the land where he lived -had been sold and nobody wanted it in Gooseberry Centre. - -I said, “Maybe they don’t know there are such things as automobiles.” - -So then we got serious and we told him that we’d like to have that -garage at camp because when we went on hikes we always brought back -souvenirs and anyway because there was a cabin shortage there. We told -him that we’d take up a collection when we got there and that if we -didn’t get enough money that way we’d give a grand show and charge -admission and that he could stay at camp till we gave him the money. - -He said, “Will I have to go to the show?” - -“Not unless you want to,” I told him. - -So then he began asking questions about Temple Camp and he said he liked -scouts because they were lively and he didn’t care who he sold the house -to only he was afraid on account of it blocking up the road. He said he -had more interest in scouts than in chickens because once a scout had -done him a good turn, but he never knew a chicken to do a kind act. - -So we made the bargain with him and he kept laughing all the time, and -he said he’d like to go and see Temple Camp, only what was worrying him -most was that he was blocking up the road. - -“You leave that to us,” Pee-wee said. - -I said, “Don’t worry about that; the road is as much to blame as the -house is. If we can’t get the house out of the way we’ll get the road -out of the way, but anyway we’ll get the house to camp. All we have to -do is to wait for the jitney bus to come along and we know Darby Curren -and he’ll pull you out all right. We used a gas engine to move a donkey -to-day. I guess we ought to be able to move a house with one.” - - - - - CHAPTER XXXII - - WE BECOME BANDITS - - -That’s always the way it is with Pee-wee. All of a sudden he springs a -big idea. Mr. Ellsworth (he’s our scoutmaster) says Pee-wee’s good turns -are planned on a large scale. They’re masterpieces, that’s what Mr. -Ellsworth says. And this one I’m telling you about was especially good -because it was kind of crazy. - -Hervey said, “That’s just what we want, a good climax for this -funny-bone hike. We’ll wind up in a blaze of glory.” - -“The end of a perfect day,” Bert said. - -The man said he guessed we must have had a lot of fun. - -“We’ve got a lot left, too,” I told him; “we’ve got enough to last a -couple of weeks. We never knew when we started out how many dandy -misfortunes there are. I bet we had more fun starving than anybody else -ever did.” Then I said; “Hey, mister, what’s your name?” - -He said his name was Goobenhoff but he wouldn’t tell us his front name -because we couldn’t pronounce it. - -I said, “Tell it to us without pronouncing it.” - -He said, “When you go on a hike it’s good to have a destination.” - -Hervey said, “Sure it is, because then we know where not to go. We never -start out without taking a destination with us.” - -After a little while the jitney bus came along from the other direction -and we all set up a shout. Darby Curren was driving it and scouts were -sticking their heads out of the windows. Gee whiz, maybe what we were -going to do was crazy, but when I saw the faces of those fellows I said, -“Crazy things are all right; as long as a thing is a good turn it -doesn’t matter.” - -Gee, I didn’t blame the Camp Committee because they couldn’t help the -camp being crowded, and troops are supposed to fix it up about their -cabins a long time ahead, but just the same it seemed funny as long as -scouts are all brothers that those fellows should have to go to another -camp, because _believe me_, there’s only one place and that is Temple -Camp. I guess you know yourselves what fun we have there. - -I said to the fellows, “This funny-bone hike is going to end in -something worth while or else the whole day is lost.” - -“Let it be lost,” Hervey said; “there’s a lot of fun being lost.” - -I said, “Pee-wee, this is your job, go to it.” The kid stepped right out -into the middle of the road, very brave and daring. All the while he was -pulling up his stocking; it was awful funny to see him. Mr. Goobenhoff -just laughed and laughed. I guess he was having a lot of fun too. - -Pee-wee held up his hand like a traffic cop and shouted, “Stop! In the -name of the funny-bone hikers of the Boy Scouts of America, _stop!_ Wait -a second till I fix my garter.” - -Darby shouted, “Hello, Scout Harris; what’s the matter with your face?” - -“It’s supposed to be invincible,” the kid shouted. “Stop where you are!” - -“Your mouth is all black,” Darby said. - -“I was eating a roasted potato,” Pee-wee said. “Who have you got in that -bus?” - -“Is this a hold-up?” Darby wanted to know. “I haven’t got anything with -me but a cheese sandwich.” - -“Give it to me,” the kid shouted. - -“Give it to me,” Garry said. - -By that time Mr. Goobenhoff was laughing so hard he just shook, and -Darby was laughing too. In a couple of seconds about seven or eight -scouts came pell-mell out of the bus to see what all the fuss was about. -There was a man with them, he was their scoutmaster, and he was smiling -and looking kind of surprised. - -I guess it must have seemed funny when they saw that garage and saw us -standing there in the road. We were all kind of dirty and shabby after -our adventures and Hervey Willetts had on that funny hat he always wears -with holes cut in it and advertising buttons all over it. It was cocked -away over on the side of his head and he was balancing a stick on his -nose. - -Pee-wee shouted at him, “Take that stick down. Don’t you know how -bandits act? You’re supposed to look savage.” - -I gave one look at poor little Willie Cook trying to look savage, and -then I doubled up. Pee-wee had black all around his mouth and he was -swinging his belt-axe; he looked awful funny. - -He stood right in front of the bus and shouted, “Who are you and why? We -captured a portable garage! Do you think we can’t capture a jitney bus? -Nobody can pass this spot. We’re here to do a good turn whether you want -us to or not. We’re wild and savage, we live on fish and milk chocolate -and we were starving on a desert drawbridge. Hold up your hands and make -the scout salute. To-night you sleep at Temple Camp. Has anybody got a -piece of string? My garter’s busted.” - - - - - CHAPTER XXXIII - - WE WIN - - -That scoutmaster said, kind of smiling, “We think we’re scouts and we’re -glad to make you the salute. What can we do for you?” - -“Where are you going?” Pee-wee shouted. - -The man said, “Why, if you must know, we’re going to catch a train for -Bear Mountain. They’re crowded up at the camp. We might have stayed till -morning, but the sooner we’re settled the better.” - -“You’re settled already,” Pee-wee shouted; “I settled you! We’re the -funny-bone bandits and we own the Catskill Mountains. Do you see this -little house? It’s a garage. It’s going to Temple Camp and you’re going -back with it. You’re going to bunk in it. We’re going to pull it out of -this ditch and take it to Temple Camp. That’s the kind of good turns we -do up here!” - -The man said, “You’re very kind but——” - -“Don’t talk about catching trains,” I said. “We’ve been catching trains -to-day and see what it’s brought us to. Take my advice and don’t get on -a train. A portable garage is better. We used to be regular scouts like -you, with uniforms and clean faces and everything, before we got on a -railroad train. We belong at Temple Camp and we’re going back there and -so is this little shack and so are you.” - -The scoutmaster said, “You’re very kind but——” - -“There isn’t any _but_ about it,” I told him. “If you think we’re going -to have anybody interfering with our good turns you’re mistaken. You -didn’t know the woods were infested with wild scouts, did you? So now -get out of the way while Darby Curren pulls us out of the ditch, and -then do what we tell you. All you’ve seen so far are the tame scouts up -at camp; we’re the wild, outlaw scouts. This is Hervey Willetts, the -human squirrel—I’m the nut. We run Temple Camp, don’t worry, leave it -to us. The road to Temple Camp is a one way street and don’t you forget -it! So get out of the way, you’re blocking the traffic.” - -Gee whiz, I guess they didn’t know what to think. The scoutmaster just -looked around smiling, and all his little troop were staring and -laughing. I could see they wanted to go back. - -The scoutmaster said, “I hardly know what to think about this.” - -“Don’t think about it,” Pee-wee said, “just do it.” - -“Do the way we do,” Hervey said; “don’t go to the place you started out -to go to; go the other way. Do the thing you didn’t expect to do, then -you’ll have more fun. That’s what a funny-bone hike is. Get mixed up -accidentally on purpose. Just keep going, any old way. One place is as -good as another, only Temple Camp is better than all of them. Come ahead -back, you just leave it to us. We’ll get the truck out of the ditch and -we’ll start a parade to Temple Camp and I’ll go first and tell them all -about it. We had a lot of fun to-day just on account of a song. So now -will you join a parade with us and follow your leader? Listen. - - “Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows, - Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose; - Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes, - But follow your leader wherever he goes.” - -Oh boy, you should have seen those fellows look at Hervey; they just -stood there laughing and staring and kind of clustering around him. -That’s always the way it is, fellows fall for him right away. - -“Are there any more verses to that song?” one of them wanted to know. - -“Sure,” Hervey said, “we’ve been singing them all day, and we’d like to -go marching into camp with this outfit singing them, too. We want the -craziest part to come last.” - -“Let’s do it,” one of those fellows said. - -“I want to go back,” said another. - -The scoutmaster, he looked kind of as if he couldn’t make up his mind. - -Then Warde said, kind of sober like, “There isn’t anything to prevent. -They haven’t got even a tent left at camp and that’s the only reason -they can’t have you stay. Do you think we don’t know what we’re talking -about when we say it would be all right? The camp people will say it was -a good turn, so why should you prevent us from doing it? We’d like to -end the day up with a good turn, because it’s been a kind of a funny day -and we’ve been away from camp ever since morning. It’ll make a kind of a -good ending if you’ll only help us out.” - -“The end of a crazy day,” I said. - -The scoutmaster just said, “You don’t forget your good turns when you’re -crazy, do you?” - -“Crazy good turns,” I said. “What’s the difference?” - -“No difference,” the scoutmaster said. - -“It’s all a part of the game,” Warde said; “good turns and all. We -jumble everything all up together.” - -“That’s a good way,” the scoutmaster said. - -Gee, those scouts just kept looking at their scoutmaster, waiting, -anxious like. And all the while Hervey, with his hat on the side of his -head, sat straddling the peak of the garage, humming: - - Don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows, - Don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose; - _Your job is to follow and not to suppose_. - -He said that last line good and loud. - -Then, all of a sudden, that scoutmaster said, “Well, scouts, I wish -everyone were crazy in the same way you are. If our job is to follow and -not to suppose, lead on, and we’ll follow. We’ll take a chance and -follow our leader——” - -“That’s me,” said Hervey Willetts, and down he came, sliding off the -slanting roof of the garage. - -Oh boy, you should have seen those new scouts look at him. - - - - - CHAPTER XXXIV - - WE START THE PARADE - - -“Let’s form a parade with the garage for a float,” Bert shouted; “Hervey -will lead the way, next will come the funny-bone division with all the -veterans, next will come the portable garage with Willie Cook sitting on -top, and behind that will march the new troop.” - -“Only remember that the garage can’t climb up trees,” I said to Hervey. - -“You leave it to me,” Hervey said. - -“And Darby Curren and the scoutmaster and Mr. Goobenhoff can sit on the -driver’s seat,” Warde said. - -The scoutmaster said, “Well, as long as we’ve all joined hands in this -doubtful enterprise and agreed to stand and fall together, we may as -well know each other. My name is Warren and these scouts form the First -Troop of Columbus. Columbus is proud of her scouts.” - -“Columbus was a man,” Pee-wee shouted. - -“He discovered Columbus Avenue,” I said. “He used to hang out in -Columbus Circle near Central Park.” - -“Don’t you believe him, he’s crazy,” Pee-wee shouted. - -“You’re all wrong,” Garry piped up, “Columbus was named after -Christopher Street, he was named after the Christopher Street Ferry. -These fellows with me don’t know anything about history.” - -“We make a specialty of geography,” I said. - -“And law,” Pee-wee shouted. “I know a lot about laws. I know a fellow -that lives in Columbus, his name is Smith. Did you ever hear of him? -Once I passed Columbus.” - -“Columbus was lucky,” I said. - -“I had lunch there,” Pee-wee shouted. - -“He has lunch everywhere,” I said. “Wherever he goes there’s a food -shortage the next day.” - -“Well what are we going to do?” Warde said. “Are we going to jolly -Pee-wee or start a parade?” - -“Answered in the affirmative,” I said. - -By that time all those fellows were laughing and Darby Curren said to -them, “These boys are the moving spirits of camp, they are; especially -that Willetts youngster.” - -“Sure, we always keep moving,” I said. “Every day is moving day with us. -I hope you’ll like us when you don’t know us so well.” - -“We like you already,” one of those Columbus scouts piped up. - -“You mean you like lunatics?” Pee-wee shouted at them. - -Mr. Warren said, “Oh yes, we like lunatics. Suppose we get started as -long as we’re in for it. I’m a little anxious to know our fate. We’re -trusting to you boys. I’ll feel a little shaky till——” - -“That’s because you drink milk shakes,” Garry said. “Don’t you worry, -you’re going to have a roof over your heads and everything will be all -right.” - -“It’s more fun on top of the roof,” Hervey said. - -Mr. Warren said, “Are you scouts all one patrol?” - -I said, “No, I’ll tell you how it is. We belong to different patrols but -we go around together and they call us the Vagabond Patrol. We’re -insane, but we’re harmless. See? My patrol is the Silver Fox Patrol and -Warde, that’s this fellow, he’s in my patrol. Bert Winton is in a troop -from out west and Pee-wee Harris is in the Raven Patrol; that’s in my -troop, and this little fellow belongs in that patrol, too. He’s more to -be pitied than blamed. That other fellow, Garry, he comes from down the -Hudson and that fellow with a crazy hat, that’s Hervey Willetts, he -belongs in a troop from somewhere or other, I should worry. He’s an -Eagle Scout, that fellow is. Maybe you wouldn’t think so to look at him. -He drinks nut sundaes and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s the one -that put the fun in funny-bone. He’s a regular Cook’s Tours in himself.” - -Mr. Goobenhoff winked at Mr. Warren and they both winked at Darby Curren -and then Mr. Goobenhoff said, “Well if I’m to get this garage off my -hands we’d better be about it. How far is it to Temple Camp by the -road?” - -“We have to go all the way around Crampton’s Hollow,” I said, “but -usually we don’t bother with roads because most of them go to places.” - -So then we fixed a rope from the end of the shaft to the front of the -jitney bus and Darby put his shift into reverse, and the four horses -strained as the jitney backed up and pretty soon we were ready to start. - -Gee whiz, if you want to go on down to Catskill Landing in that empty -bus with Darby Curren, go ahead, I can’t stop you. But if you want to -join the parade all right. I guess you know by this time that wherever -we go something happens. It isn’t our fault, it’s the fault of the -things. So then we started off along the road. - -Some procession! - - - - - CHAPTER XXXV - - WE END OUR HIKE - - -That was the long way around to Temple Camp, but we couldn’t help it, -because we had to follow the road. - -“That’s better than following a crazy leader,” Pee-wee said. - -Mr. Warren said, “The last turn is a good turn.” - -“Every kind of a turn is a good one,” Hervey called back. - -“They’re all better than each other, only some are more so,” I said. -“We’ll take you on some hikes all right. That’s one things I like about -Columbus, Ohio, he didn’t turn back, not till he saw the Statue of -Liberty.” - -_“Columbus saw the Statue of Liberty?”_ Pee-wee screamed. - -“Listen to the mocking bird,” I said. “I never said he saw the Statue of -Liberty; I said he didn’t turn back till he saw it, and he never turned -back, did he? That shows how much you know about botany.” - -“Jolly him some more,” one of those Columbus scouts said, kind of -bashful like. - -“I can’t now,” I told him, “we’re coming to Stillman’s Hollow and we -have to be very still there because the natives are all asleep. We have -to go on tiptoe through the village. Shh!” - -So then Hervey started going on tiptoe, holding one finger up to his -mouth, awful funny. All of those Columbus scouts did the same and their -scoutmaster laughed, but just the same he seemed kind of thoughtful -like. I guess he wasn’t sure how the management at camp would take it -about his coming back, but it didn’t bother us any, because we were -bringing a shack back for that troop, and anyway we have Uncle jeb (he’s -camp manager) eating out of our hands. Whatever we say at Temple Camp -_goes_. I don’t say where it goes to, but it _goes_. - -We tiptoed through Main Street in Stillman’s Hollow and some summer -boarders stared at us and laughed and a lot of people on the porch of -the post office laughed. I guess we must have looked pretty funny. - -Pretty soon we came to the end of the village and Hervey said, “All -right, you can all talk at once now.” - -“I’ll all talk at once first,” Pee-wee piped up; “I’ve got something to -say.” - -“Begin at the end, then you won’t have so far to go,” I said. - -“Let’s dump the garage down near the road,” he said, “then it’ll be away -from the main part of camp all by itself; it’ll be kind of like an -outpost.” - -“That would suit us to a T,” Mr. Warren said. - -“I thought of it,” Pee-wee shouted. “Then we can come up there and visit -you. I’ll be up every day.” - -“Have a heart,” I said. “Do you call that a good turn?” - -Mr. Warren said, “If they’re kind enough to let us stay and camp in this -odd little house you may be sure the funny-bone hikers will always be -welcome.” - -“You bet they will,” two or three of those fellows chimed in. - -“Set us down anywhere you choose,” Mr. Warren said. - -Hervey said, “You don’t have to spend much time in your shack. The -Catskill Mountains are big enough for anybody.” - -“Except you,” I said. “If you follow him,” I told those fellows, “you’ll -land on the island of Yap.” - -Hervey didn’t say anything, he just started singing, and going zigzag in -the road; I guess maybe he was trying to make the horses do that, too. -He sang the whole song, and before he was finished every fellow there -was singing and imitating all his motions. - -Gee whiz, I can just see him now, the way he reached up and grabbed -branches and hopped on the stones and threw his hat up in the air and -swung it on a stick and walked lame and with his eyes shut, never -looking back at all just as if he didn’t care whether we were there or -not. Reckless, kind of; you know how he is. - -And even now when I’m home in Bridgeboro, whenever I get to humming that -song I think of Hervey Willetts. Even my sister Marjorie hums it and -Margaret Ellison caught it from her and her sister caught it from her -and if it ever gets into the school, _good night_, they’ll have to close -it up. - -If you once get those crazy verses in your head, goodby to history and -geography, and physics and arithmetic. But I don’t know, kind of it -doesn’t seem natural except when Hervey Willetts sings them. I don’t -know where he ever got them nor all the other crazy stuff he knows. - -There’s only one Temple Camp and there’s only one Hervey Willetts. - - - - - CHAPTER XXXVI - - WE DEMOBILIZE - - -I guess I don’t have to tell you that it was all right about bringing -those scouts back and a shack for them to bunk in. Uncle Jeb said he was -only thankful that Hervey didn’t bring back the West Shore trains and -the drawbridge. He said he was thankful Hervey came back at all. - -When he heard that all Hervey brought back was a new troop and a -portable garage and all the rest of us safe and sound including the -animated Animal Cracker, he said, “That thar kid is losing his pep, he -daon’t seem ter hev no gumption no more.” Because usually Hervey brings -back tramps and organ-grinders and all people like that. Once he brought -back a fat man from a circus. So gee whiz, a portable garage was nothing -for him. - -Now I’ll tell you what we did. We put that portable garage on the edge -of camp, away up near the road. And we sold lemonade and scout -tenderflops to auto parties until we made enough money to pay Mr. -Goobenhoff. He said he wasn’t in a hurry and he’d trust us. And that’s -where those Columbus scouts spent the rest of the summer and that’s -better than Bear Mountain, I don’t care if all the bears hear me say so. - -And one good thing, Pee-wee was up there most of the time so we had some -peace down at camp, but we could often hear his voice. - -The trustees wanted us to call the garage Good Turn Cabin, but we -wouldn’t do it because we wanted to call it Funny-bone Shack. And it’s -our shack, it belongs to the outlaws, or the vagabonds, or the -funny-bone hikers, or whatever you want to call us—we don’t care. And -every summer we let some poor troop go up there and stay in it. And it’s -all on account of that crazy song. - -So now I’m going to bed, because I’m going to play tennis to-morrow and -I’ve got to mow the lawn early in the morning, because my sister’s going -to have a lawn party in the afternoon and she’s going to have icing cake -and I’m going to be there. - -Now when you finish reading all this crazy stuff if it makes you so you -can’t get to sleep and you keep lying awake, just begin saying to -yourself: - - Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows, - Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose; - Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes, - But follow your leader wherever he goes. - - Don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows, - Don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose; - Your job is to follow and not to suppose, - And follow your leader wherever he goes. - - Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows, - Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it blows; - Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose, - But follow your leader wherever he goes! - -And the first thing you know you’ll wake up and find yourself fast -asleep and you can thank Hervey Willetts. - - - - - CHAPTER THE LAST - - -Now as long as that hike was so crazy, on account of us all being crazy, -we decided that it was best to call our remodeled garage the “Good Turn -Cabin.” - -In about four hours and forty-two minutes, those Columbus scouts were -almost as crazy as we were, or rather are. - -“Say, fellows, let’s go over to the ‘Good Turn,’ and show the boys this -wild country!” said I. - -“Suits me,” said Hervey. - -“Let’s serenade them,” said Pee-wee. - -“Sere what?” asked Westy. - -“Oh you know what I mean,” said Pee-wee. - -“Is it a new kind of drink?” asked Warde. - -By this time we had almost reached the campus of the “Good Turn.” - -I said, “Hello, there, everybody happy?” - -“I’ll say so,” said a chorus of voices. - -“Ladies and gentlemen,” said I, “we’re here——” - -“Because we’re here,” finished the Columbus scouts. - -“Right,” said I. “We’re here because we’re here, but that’s not all. -Pee-wee wants to give you some serenade, or something like that.” - -“What kind of ade?” asked one of the boys. “If it’s something like -lemonade, you’re welcome.” - -“You think you’re so smart,” said Pee-wee. - -“Are you going to stand here like a couple of dunces, or are we going to -show these boys what we know about this part of the mountains?” - -“Pee-wee’s right,” said Warde. “Roy, do your bit.” - -“Ahemm,” began I. “I have come, attended by my bodyguard, or faithful -followers, to find out whether or not we may have the pleasure of your -company at dinner to-day, we——” - -“Oh shut up,” said Pee-wee. “Gee, you haven’t any brains at all. _I’ll_ -tell them. We want to take you boys around and show you the woods and -the lake, an’ I know where there’s a peachy bird’s nest; I’ll show it to -you,” said the good-natured little fellow. - -“Pee-wee’s right,” said I. - -“I’m sure we’d love to come, but some of the fellows are gone to the -post office, so that leaves just a few of us left,” said one of the -boys. - -“But _we’d_, be delighted to come,” someone said. - -It happened that this fellow came from Maine. That made him a special -friend of Hervey and me, because he’s a Maniac. - -“All right, let’s go,” said I. And we did go. - -“This is the place where we trailed that convict, isn’t it?” asked -Westy. - -“Wait till you see my little nest,” said Pee-wee. - -“Your which?” asked the Maniac. - -“Shh, we’re near it now,” said Pee-wee. - -“Boys, hold your breath, don’t breathe or talk, we are now about to -enter the land of mystery,” said I. - -“There it is, in that bush that comes down low like. Don’t touch it -though,” said Pee-wee. - -“We wouldn’t harm a hair on its little head,” said the Maniac. - -“That’s nothing,” said I. “Let me show you where the daisies grow. -_Then_ you’ll see something nice.” - -“Are you going to take us to the land of nod?” the Maniac asked. - -“Oh, you’re going to do more than nod,” I promised. “Wait ’til you get -there! Just _wait_.” - -“Let’s go up the hill,” suggested Westy. - -“By the old haunted farm house?” asked Warde. - -“Nothing doing,” said the Maniac. “I’m scared of such places. If you -promise to take me by the hand and shield me from all danger, I might -think it over. Otherwise, I’ll go home and finish my knitting!” - -“We promise,” said Westy. - -Now I’ll tell you all about this haunted farm, so that you won’t be -frightened. In the first place, it’s not haunted at all. That is _I_ -don’t think so, but the people that lived there _did_ think so, ’cause -they moved out and left the farm just as it was. (When I get married I’m -coming up here and start farming, there’s enough tools and things.) - -“Gee, you can have lots of fun here,” said Pee-wee. “I like the apple -trees and the big swing. You can see way over Overlook Mountain and -Black Lake when you’re eating an apple.” - -“What? Do you mean to tell me they have magic apples up here? That’s -some record,” said the Maniac. “I know you can see stars, when you’re -hit over the head or something like it, but seeing mountains and lakes -when you’re eating an apple, beats anything I’ve _ever_ heard.” - -Westy said, “Didn’t you hear Roy say we’re about to enter the land of -mystery? You should listen.” - -“Sure,” I said, “if you eat enough apples you can look right through the -Woolworth Building.” - -“Swingin’ of course, oh you fellows know what I mean——” began poor -Pee-wee. - -“Sure we do,” said the Maniac. “You mean if you take an apple and a cup -of hot water before retiring, you’ll never get a puncture.” - -I wish you could have seen that yard. It was a dandy place for a picnic. -The grass was so soft and green. Gee, it was a dandy farm. - -“How can anyone ever accuse this place of being haunted?” asked the -Maniac. “I think it’s a picture.” - -“Let’s go up to the hay loft,” said Pee-wee. “I can see lots of hay -through this big door.” - -“Be careful, that’s all I’ve got to say,” said Westy. - -“I suppose it’s all right for us to climb up, we’re not hurting -anything, or breaking anything, what do you think, Roy?” asked Warde. - -“I think it’s all right, we’re just having some fun, or honest pleasure, -(oh what’s that saying again?) and I don’t think anyone’s mean enough to -begrudge us our fun.” - -“You’ve got a good line, Roy,” said Warde. - -“Come on, we’re going to invade this barn, with you as our gallant -leader,” said the Maniac. - -“Who, me?” said I. “Let Pee-wee lead us. Why to-morrow the whole town -will know about the brave scouts; when Mr. Oltiemer reads his paper, he -will know how the brave scouts, or rather how the charge of the light -brigade swept the country side, how it invaded the poor old defenseless -barn, with brigadier-general Harris leading his brave regiment through -all sorts of falls and somersaults!” - -I wish you could of seen that kid. There he was, at the top of the -ladder, ready to climb over to the loft, when _good night_, he stumbled. - -“Going down, Pee-wee?” asked the Maniac. - -“No stops ’til we reach the ground floor!” said Warde. - -And with a soft thud, Pee-wee landed on the bottom of the barn, hay and -straw fairly sprouting from him. He was a picture no artist could paint. - -“Ooohh,” was about the only answer we could get from him. - -“Why, Walter, don’t you know how to eat straw and hay?” asked one of the -Columbus scouts. - -“Ooohh,” Pee-wee said once more. “Why don’t you fellows try it? It’s -great. Only it’s not so very great when your mouth is full of it and you -can’t talk.” - -“All rightie,” said I. “We’ll try anything once, we’re brave, we can -face the ‘Perils of Pauline’ without flinching or moving a muscle of our -mouths.” - -“We ought to leave that up to Pee-wee. He can handle that situation -better than any of us,” said Warde. - -“Thank goodness we’re not on a funny-bone hike now,” said Westy. -“Falling down hay lofts won’t even count as adventures, will they, -Hervey?” - -“Follow your leader, wherever he goes,” replied Hervey. - -“Don’t, please have pity, if you start those verses again, we’ll all get -crazy again,” said I. - -“That’s all right,” said the Maniac, “if it wasn’t for those verses, we -wouldn’t be here to-day. I’ll stand up for those verses whenever I get a -chance, so there.” - -“Let’s climb the apple tree,” said Pee-wee. - -“Do you want to eat again?” asked Warde. - -“Yes, let’s go over there,” said the Maniac. “I want to see Broadway. -You’re all right, Pee-wee, your eyes should be called an academy, -because there are pupils there.” - -“Say you’re pretty good for a new one, when you get back to Maine, -you’ll go back as bad almost as Roy Blakeley,” said Pee-wee. - -“Ah, you have given me hope, that I may be so clever!” said the Maniac. - -“Clever?” said Pee-wee scornfully. - -“Hey, you fellows, come on over and see what I have found.” - -“What is it?” someone asked. - -“That’s the joke, _what_ is it?” I answered. - -“It’s an old use to be buggy,” said Hervey. - -“I should think it is buggy,” said I. - -“Gee, we ought to have some fun with it,” said Westy. - -“Let’s take it up to the hill, in back of the barn and ride down in it,” -suggested Hervey. - -“No sooner said than stung,” said I. - -“Just make believe we didn’t have fun rolling up the hill with a use to -be buggy, that was very buggy!” - -“Roy, grab hold of this end,” said Hervey. “We’ll soon have her in -high!” - -I said, “Say, Hervey, would you like to steer this buggy buggy?” - -“We didn’t have quite enough thrills on our hike,” said Warde, “so -please take the wheel and let’s have it over with.” - -“Wheel? Just try and find a wheel,” said Hervey. “You’d stand a better -chance of taking the reins.” - -“Taking the reins? I should worry as long as the rains don’t take us!” -said I. - -“Will you stop your fooling, Roy,” asked Warde, “and get started?” - -It’s really a shame how they pick on poor little me. - -Well, we finally got the thing all set ready to go. - -“Say, Roy, we ought to have a speech in honor of the first ride with the -Boy Scouts!” said the Maniac. - -“Speech, speech,” cried several boys. - -“Let’s sere—I mean christen it,” said Pee-wee. - -“Yes,” said Hervey, “we must do this thing right and spare no expenses.” - -“K. O.,” said I. “Here, cutie, run to the pump and fill up this bottle -with the best sparkling water there is; spare no expenses, as Hervey -said.” - -The poor bottle did the best it could, with a certain amount of pensive -resignation, for it had undoubtedly seen better days. - -“Let’s do it in a different way. Let’s all get in and just as soon as -Roy is finished with the toast, (at which Pee-wee started) we’ll start -off,” said Hervey. - -We always did anything Hervey suggested because we knew that it would be -crazy, so we didn’t hesitate this time. - -“Hey, wait a minute,” yelled Pee-wee, “think I’m going to stand here and -watch you go down?” Oh that kid, just as he said that, he gave a jump -and hopped on the buggy. The jar was so great that the buggy buggy went -buggy, and started off without even waiting for my speech. - -Honestly, it seemed as though everyone was falling over each other, as -the buggy went down and down. Upside down and inside out. Oh you should -of seen it. - -There sat Hervey and the Maniac, holding up the shaft, (at least what -was left of it) and even then, as we bumped into a rock, the rest of it -broke off. I had forgotten that I still held the water, until Pee-wee -jumped up and threw the bottle from my hand. - -“Say, do you think I look as though I need a cold shower? I’m not afraid -of water, but when it comes to people spilling it right and left, I -object,” said Warde. - -“Gee, I only have a few drops left, a scout’s supposed not to waste -anything, he——” - -I didn’t get a chance to say any more, for just then we heard a long -drawn moan, as though someone was in agony, and we were just in the -center of the hill, and couldn’t stop, or it would never have happened. -Another jolt, something like a turn in the Virginia Reel in Palisade -Park, and we were good for scrambled eggs. - -“W-w-what was that?” asked Pee-wee. - -“Only one of the wheels came off,” said Hervey. “Long as we don’t get -hurt, we should worry if the whole thing comes apart.” - -I guess the buggy didn’t want to go without its wheel, for it headed -towards a ditch, and each time the other wheels went around, it knocked -us all over. Laugh, I thought I’d die. - -“Gosh, if it would only stop,” said one of the boys, “I’d like to get my -breath again. This is great, but every time I get it, another jolt -t-t-takes it aw-w-way again.” - -With a final bang, we hit the side of the hill, and went sprawling for -the last time, gee, I was sorry. - -While we were lying there, undecided whether to get up or not, Pee-wee -saved the day. - -“D-d-do you hear that?” fairly screamed Pee-wee. “Do you know what that -is? If you don’t, _I_ do, and I’m going to answer it——” - -_It_ was the mess call, even if it took Pee-wee to hear it first, _we_ -heard it now, and once more we dropped everything, for important things -come first. And as usual, Hervey started it again. - -“Come on, fall in line,” he said, and “Follow Your Leader.” - - - -***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROY BLAKELEY'S FUNNY-BONE HIKE*** - - -******* This file should be named 60255-0.txt or 60255-0.zip ******* - - -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: -http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/6/0/2/5/60255 - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive -specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this -eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook -for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, -performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given -away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks -not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the -trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. - -START: FULL LICENSE - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full -Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at -www.gutenberg.org/license. - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or -destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your -possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a -Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound -by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the -person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph -1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this -agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the -Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection -of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual -works in the collection are in the public domain in the United -States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the -United States and you are located in the United States, we do not -claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, -displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as -all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope -that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting -free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm -works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the -Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily -comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the -same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when -you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are -in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, -check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this -agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, -distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any -other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no -representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any -country outside the United States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other -immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear -prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work -on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, -performed, viewed, copied or distributed: - - This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and - most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no - restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it - under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this - eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the - United States, you'll have to check the laws of the country where you - are located before using this ebook. - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is -derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not -contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the -copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in -the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are -redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply -either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or -obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any -additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms -will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works -posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the -beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including -any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access -to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format -other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official -version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site -(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense -to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means -of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain -Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the -full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -provided that - -* You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed - to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has - agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid - within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are - legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty - payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in - Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg - Literary Archive Foundation." - -* You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all - copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue - all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm - works. - -* You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of - any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of - receipt of the work. - -* You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than -are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing -from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The -Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project -Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may -contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate -or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other -intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or -other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or -cannot be read by your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium -with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you -with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in -lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person -or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second -opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If -the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing -without further opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO -OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT -LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of -damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement -violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the -agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or -limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or -unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the -remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in -accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the -production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, -including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of -the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this -or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or -additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any -Defect you cause. - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of -computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It -exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations -from people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future -generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see -Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at -www.gutenberg.org - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by -U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the -mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its -volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous -locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt -Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to -date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and -official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact - -For additional contact information: - - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND -DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular -state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To -donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project -Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be -freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and -distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of -volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in -the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - diff --git a/old/60255-0.zip b/old/60255-0.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 18d9a82..0000000 --- a/old/60255-0.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60255-h.zip b/old/60255-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 02c1710..0000000 --- a/old/60255-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60255-h/60255-h.htm b/old/60255-h/60255-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index b05c470..0000000 --- a/old/60255-h/60255-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,5375 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> -<head> -<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" /> -<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Roy Blakeley's Funny-bone Hike, by Percy Keese Fitzhugh</title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg"/> - <style type="text/css"> - .footnote-id { - text-indent:1.5em; - vertical-align:super; - font-size:smaller; - } - body { margin-left:8%;margin-right:10%; } - h1 { text-align: center; font-weight: normal; font-size: 1.4em; } - .it { font-style:italic; } - p { text-indent:0; margin-top:0.5em; margin-bottom:0.5em; - text-align: justify; } - div.lgc { } - div.lgc p { text-align:center; text-indent:0; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0; } - h2 { - text-align:center; - font-weight:normal; - page-break-before: always; - font-size:1.2em; margin:2em auto 1em auto - } - - .sub-head { font-size: smaller; } - hr.pbk { border:none; border-bottom:1px solid silver; - width:100%; margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:2em } - @media handheld { hr.pbk { display: none; } } - hr.footnotemark { - border:none; - border-bottom:1px solid silver; - width:10%; - margin:1em auto 1em 0; - page-break-after: avoid; - } - .figcenter { - text-align:center; - margin:1em auto; - page-break-inside: avoid; - } - - p.caption { text-align:center; margin:0 auto; width:100%; } - p.credit { text-align:right; margin:0 auto; width: 100%; } - - div.footnote { margin:0 .5em; } - p.footnote { text-indent:1.5em; } - p.line { text-indent:0; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0; } - table { page-break-inside: avoid; } - table.center { margin:0.5em auto; border-collapse: collapse; padding:3px; } - table.flushleft { margin:0.5em 0em; border-collapse: collapse; padding:3px; } - table.left { margin:0.5em 1.2em; border-collapse: collapse; padding:3px; } - .tab1c1 { } - .tab1c2 { } - .tdStyle0 { - padding: 2px 5px; text-align:right; vertical-align:top; - } - .tdStyle1 { - padding: 2px 5px; text-align:left; vertical-align:top; - } - .pindent { margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0; text-indent:1.5em; } - .noindent { margin-top:0; margin-bottom:0; text-indent:0; } - .hang { padding-left:1.5em; text-indent:-1.5em; } - .literal-container { text-align:center; margin:0 0; } - .literal { display:inline-block; text-align:left; } - </style> - <style type="text/css"> - p { margin-top:0em; margin-bottom:0em; text-align:justify; } - .caption { font-size: smaller; padding:1em 0; text-align:center; } - .figcenter { margin:1em auto; } - #i027 { max-width:442px; } - #i100 { max-width:445px; } - #i119 { max-width:445px; } - #ifpc { max-width:444px; } - .break-before { page-break-before: always; } - - - h1.pg { font-weight: bold; - font-size: 190%; - clear: both; } - h2.pg { font-weight: bold; - page-break-before: avoid; - font-size: 135%; - clear: both; } - h3,h4 { text-align: center; - clear: both; } - hr.full { width: 100%; - margin-top: 3em; - margin-bottom: 0em; - margin-left: auto; - margin-right: auto; - height: 4px; - border-width: 4px 0 0 0; /* remove all borders except the top one */ - border-style: solid; - border-color: #000000; - clear: both; } - </style> -</head> -<body> -<h1 class="pg">The Project Gutenberg eBook, Roy Blakeley's Funny-bone Hike, by Percy -Keese Fitzhugh, Illustrated by H. S. Barbour</h1> -<p>This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States -and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no -restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it -under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this -eBook or online at <a -href="http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you are not -located in the United States, you'll have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this ebook.</p> -<p>Title: Roy Blakeley's Funny-bone Hike</p> -<p>Author: Percy Keese Fitzhugh</p> -<p>Release Date: September 7, 2019 [eBook #60255]</p> -<p>Language: English</p> -<p>Character set encoding: UTF-8</p> -<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROY BLAKELEY'S FUNNY-BONE HIKE***</p> -<p> </p> -<p> </p> -<h3>E-text prepared by Roger Frank and Sue Clark</h3> -<p> </p> -<hr class="full" /> -<p> </p> -<p> </p> -<p> </p> -<p> </p> - -<h1>ROY BLAKELEY’S FUNNY-BONE HIKE</h1> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div class='figcenter' style='width:80%'> -<img src='images/illus-fpc.jpg' alt='' id='ifpc' style='width:100%;height:auto;'/> -<p class='caption'>“OUT I WENT AGAIN WITH ALL OF THEM AFTER ME.”</p> -</div> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div class='lgc' style=''> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:1.7em;'>ROY BLAKELEY’S</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:1.7em;'>FUNNY-BONE HIKE</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'>BY</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'><span style='font-size:larger'>PERCY KEESE FITZHUGH</span></p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'><span class='it'>Author of</span></p> -<p class='line'>TOM SLADE, BOY SCOUT,</p> -<p class='line'>TOM SLADE AT TEMPLE CAMP,</p> -<p class='line'>ROY BLAKELEY, ETC.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='margin-top:2em;font-size:0.8em;'>ILLUSTRATED BY</p> -<p class='line'>H. S. BARBOUR</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='margin-top:2em;font-size:0.8em;'>Published with the approval of</p> -<p class='line'><span style='font-size:smaller'>THE BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA</span></p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='margin-top:2em;font-size:1.2em;'>GROSSET & DUNLAP</p> -<p class='line'><span style='font-size:smaller'>PUBLISHERS NEW YORK</span></p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line'><span style='font-size:smaller'>Made in the United States of America</span></p> -</div> <!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div class='lgc' style=''> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line break-before'>Copyright, 1923</p> -<p class='line'>GROSSET & DUNLAP</p> -</div> <!-- end rend --> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<p class='line break-before' style='text-align:center;'>CONTENTS</p> - -<table id='tab1' summary='' class='center'> -<colgroup> -<col span='1' style='width: 3.5em;'/> -<col span='1' style='width: 30em;'/> -</colgroup> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>I</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_I'>We Go</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>II</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_II'>We Start Back</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>III</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_III'>We Go South</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>IV</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_IV'>We Go North</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>V</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_V'>We Keep on Going North </a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>VI</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_VI'>We Move Heaven and Earth </a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>VII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_VII'>We Reach the Fickle Guide Post</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>VIII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_VIII'>We Do a Good Turn</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>IX</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_IX'>We Follow Our Leader </a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>X</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_X'>We Retrace Our Steps </a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XI</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XI'>We Wait for the Boat </a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XII'>We Collect Toll</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XIII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XIII'>We Are Marooned on a Desert Island </a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XIV</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XIV'>We See a Sail</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XV</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XV'>We Form a Resolve</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XVI</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XVI'>We Are Saved</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XVII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XVII'>We Cook the Duck</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XVIII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XVIII'>We Meet a Friend</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XIX</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XIX'>We Eat</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XX</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XX'>We Make a Promise</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXI</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXI'>We Keep Still</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXII'>We Hear a Voice</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXIII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXIII'>We Go to the Rescue</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXIV</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXIV'>We Drop Dead—Almost</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXV</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXV'>We Prove It </a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXVI</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXVI'>We See a House</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXVII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXVII'>We Lose Our Bearings</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXVIII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXVIII'>We Are Dead to the World</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXIX</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXIX'>We Wake Up</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXX</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXX'>We Figure It Out</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXXI</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXXI'>We Make a Bargain</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXXII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXXII'>We Become Bandits</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXXIII</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXXIII'>We Win</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXXIV</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXXIV'>We Start the Parade</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXXV</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXXV'>We End Our Hike</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'>XXXVI</td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_XXXVI'>We Demobilize</a></td></tr> -<tr><td class='tab1c1 tdStyle0'></td><td class='tab1c2 tdStyle1'><a href='#ch_LAST'>Chapter the Last</a></td></tr> -</table> - -<hr class='pbk'/> - -<div class='lgc' style=''> <!-- rend=';' --> -<p class='line break-before' style='font-size:1.2em;'>ROY BLAKELEY’S FUNNY-BONE HIKE</p> -</div> <!-- end rend --> - -<div><h2 id='ch_I'>CHAPTER I<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE GO</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>This is going to be the craziest story I ever wrote. But anyway every -word of it is true—except a few small words. Even the punctuation is -true. But I have to admit the story is crazy. It’s the craziest story -ever written in this world or any other world. I don’t care how many -worlds there are. The name I call it by is the Funny-bone Hike, but I -should worry what you call it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>When you study first aid you have to know all about the different bones -but the only bone I know anything about is my funny-bone. Anyway I don’t -care so much about first aid—I like lemonade better.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>But one thing, I’ve got the Safety First badge. To get that you have to -think up a safety device in your home. I thought of a safety pin. I’ve -got ten other merit badges, too. Next to laughing my specialty is -cooking.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So now I’ll tell you about how all this crazy business started. It -happened accidentally on purpose. Our troop was up at Temple Camp—that’s -where we spend our summers. One morning six of us went down to -Catskill Landing in the bus to get some fish-hooks and jaw-breakers; I’m -crazy about those, I don’t mean fish-hooks.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The six scouts that happened to be along were Bert Winton, (he belongs -out west) and Hervey Willetts, (gee whiz, he belongs everywhere I guess) -and Garry Everson (he lives down the Hudson) and Warde Hollister (he’s -in my patrol and my patrol is the Silver Foxes and they’re all crazier -than each other, those fellows) and Pee-wee Harris (he’s one of the -raving Ravens of our troop) and Roy Blakeley, that’s me, I mean I, -correct, be seated. I was named after my sister because she was named -before I was. I’m patrol leader of the Silver Foxes, but I’m not to -blame, because they were wished onto me. I’m more to be pitied than -blamed.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Now it’s about ten miles from Temple Camp to Catskill Landing. And it’s -about three hundred and forty-eleven miles back from Catskill Landing to -Temple Camp. I bet you’ll say that isn’t possible and I know it isn’t -possible but it’s true just the same.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So this is the way it is. The first chapter of this story tells how we -went to Catskill Landing and the next twenty or thirty chapters tell how -we got back to Temple Camp. You can stay in Catskill Landing if you -want to and not bother with the rest, I should worry. But the book -includes the round trip only it wasn’t so round; it was kind of square -like a circle and rectangular and right-angular and left angular, and -every which way. It was shaped like a lot of wire all tangled up. The -way back was so crooked that we met ourselves a lot of times going the -other way.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So if you want to you can call this story The Tangled Trail. But I like -the Funny-bone Hike better. Suit yourself.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_II'>CHAPTER II<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE START BACK</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>The scout that was to blame for the whole thing was Hervey Willetts. -Believe me, that fellow ought to be kept in a cage. He belongs to a -patrol named the Reindeers but he ought to belong to the tomcats because -half the time nobody knows where he is.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>His scoutmaster says he wanders over the face of the earth but, believe -me, he wanders across the head of the earth and down the neck of the -earth; the face isn’t big enough for him. The scouts at camp call him -the wandering minstrel because he goes all over and he’s all the time -singing. It was just a streak of luck that we happened to have him with -us that day. He wears a funny little hat without any brim and with holes -cut in it so his thoughts can get out because they make him top-heavy -when he’s climbing trees.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We were just starting to hike back from Catskill Landing when he said, -“Come on, let’s make it snappy.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What do you mean, make it snappy?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s put some ginger in it,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He means gingersnaps,” Pee-wee shouted; “let’s buy some.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A voice from the Animal Cracker Patrol,” Warde Hollister said; “here’s -a couple of fish-hooks, and a package of tacks, eat those.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Put some ginger in what?” I asked Hervey. “I’d just as soon fill it up -with ginger, only what?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The hike back,” he said. “Let’s start something.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Already that fellow was suffering from remorse because he had sat -quietly for half an hour or so in the bus.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “If I knew of volcanoes or wild animals on the way back I’d lead -you to them, but the only wild animal I know of around here is the -mascot of the animal patrol.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s play Follow Your Leader,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Not while we’re conscious,” Garry Everson spoke up; “not if you’re -going to be the leader. I have to be home by Christmas.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Bert Winton said, “I’m sorry, but school opens in a few weeks. Nothing -doing.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll follow you!” our little Animal Cracker shouted; “I don’t have to -be home Christmas. I don’t have to be home till my birthday and that -doesn’t come for four years because I was born in leap year.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now we know why you’re so slow growing up,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re a lot of tin horn sports!” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m game,” I said. “I’ll die for the cause if anybody else will.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “Listen.” Then he said, kind of sing-songy, so it made me -want to walk:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>Oh, boy, that started us off. We were like horses when they hear a brass -band. Hervey gave me a shove and said, “Go ahead, start off, you’re the -only patrol leader here, it’s up to you.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s your game,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Go ahead, lead,” he began laughing, “and let’s keep it up till we get -to Temple Camp. It’s no fun if you flunk.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>That was just like him, he didn’t care who led as long as he was moving. -That fellow goes off in the woods a lot by himself and he doesn’t care -anything about merit badges himself. He’s a funny kind of a scout but -he’s awful generous. He can’t keep still, that’s one thing about him. -Most scouts are always trying for things but all he cares about is -action—he eats it alive.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So the first thing I knew I was marching along with the other fellows -behind me and they were all singing those verses and kind of marching in -step to them. Gee whiz, we couldn’t get those verses out of our heads. -It was awfully funny to hear Pee-wee shouting them. Even now it seems as -if I have to write them down and I guess there’ll have to be an -operation to get them out of my mind. I lie awake at night and say them. -If you once get those verses in your head, <span class='it'>good night</span>! Most all the -rest of that day we were singing them. I guess the people in Catskill -Landing thought we were a lot of lunatics. So now I’m going to write -those verses down again But you want to be careful not to let them get -you or you’ll come to be a raving maniac. If you do you can blame Hervey -Willetts.</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Your job is to follow and not to suppose,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And follow your leader wherever he goes.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows.</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it blows;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<div><h2 id='ch_III'>CHAPTER III<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE GO SOUTH</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>When we started that crazy game we were near the landing. Maybe it would -have been better if we had jumped into the Hudson. But instead of that I -started marching up toward the railroad station with all the fellows -after me, singing that song.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I went leap frog over a barrel and the rest of them did the same, -singing, <span class='it'>Follow your leader wherever he goes</span>. All the while Pee-wee -stuck on the top of the barrel because his legs were so short, but as -long as he was the last one it didn’t make any difference.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Take a demerit,” I shouted back at him. “What do you think you are? A -statue?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He looks like a barrel buoy,” Garry shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t look back, keep singing,” Hervey called to Garry. “Never mind -what’s behind you.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, think of the future,” Warde said. “And follow your leader -wherever he goes.</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Wherever he goes,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Wherever he goes,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Wherever he goes.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>I went waltzing into a candy store, and picked up a five cent chocolate -bar and laid down a nickel and kept going in and out around the ice -cream tables. All the people in there started laughing. One girl spilled -a glass of root beer that she was drinking. All of us fellows had small -change, we never have any large change, so nothing happened to block the -parade.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Out I went again with all of them after me, holding the chocolate bar in -my mouth. I took one bite of it and threw it in the trash can. I heard -Hervey do the same, then Bert, and I knew Garry and Warde could be -trusted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Keep your eye on Pee-wee,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A scout isn’t supposed to waste anything,” the kid shouted, his mouth -full of chocolate.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“None of that,” I shouted back. “How many bites did you take? Throw it -away!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I took—I took one bite—in two sections,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Come on,” I shouted.</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it blows;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes!</p> -<p class='line' style='text-align:left;margin-left:4em;font-size:0.9em;'>wherever he goes,</p> -<p class='line' style='text-align:left;margin-left:4em;font-size:0.9em;'>wherever he goes——</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>“Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I kept going round and round a baby carriage till we were all dizzy and -even the baby began to laugh. Then I went staggering in and out and over -a lot of trunks at the station, and crawled under an express wagon and -hopped on one leg along the platform. Everybody was screaming at us. We -were shouting those verses good and loud.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>There was an accommodation train standing at the station so we couldn’t -get across the tracks. Gee whiz, I don’t call that very accommodating. I -climbed up into the first car and started going back through the train, -all the fellows after me, singing those crazy verses like a lot of wild -Indians. The people in the cars stared at us. I dropped a cent in the -slot and got a paper drinking cup and took a drink of water and then -started carrying the cup full of water through the train. Along they -came after me carrying cups of water.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden, <span class='it'>kerflop</span>, the water spilled out on my face. That was -because the train had started. I guess it happened to the rest of them -because the people in the seats began to howl.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Never laugh at another’s misfortune,” I said. “You may get your own -faces washed some day.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hurry up,” Garry shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What’s the difference?” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Somebody shouted, “The next stop is Alsen.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I hope it’s a good stop, we’ve had a good start, anyway,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We might have got out at the end of the car, only it was a vestibule car -and all closed up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now you see what you did,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Don’t you care, you don’t have to get home for four years. We -ought to reach Alsen in about a year and a half.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hurry through to the next platform,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I sprinted through the next car and there was an open platform there but -by that time the train was moving too fast for us to get off. Safety -first, that’s our motto. Crazy but safe.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then we had a meeting of the board of directors on the platform of -that car till a brakeman made us go inside.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “The plot grows thicker.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re a fine kind of a leader,” Pee-wee said, very contemptible like, -I mean contemptuous. “What are we going to do now?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Be thankful I didn’t lead you onto an airship,” I said; “we’re going to -Alsen, it’s a very nice place, houses and everything. Follow your leader -wherever he goes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re supposed to be headed for camp,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re on our way there,” I told him. “We’re going west in a southerly -direction.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Alsen is only about three miles,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“How do we know the engineer will see it when he gets there?” Garry wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe he has a magnifying glass,” I said. “I hope there are some things -in Alsen.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What kind of things?” Pee-wee wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Things to do,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Where are we going to end?” he shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re not going to end,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Temple Camp is west from here,” he yelled at me, because the train was -making a lot of noise.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you blame me for that?” I asked him. “I didn’t invent the compass, -did I? If you’re not satisfied with where Temple Camp is you’d better -complain to Mr. Temple, he put it there.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh, look at the big, high tree!” Hervey shouted. “Let’s climb up that -on our way back.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” I said, “and jump off the top. You’d be going -leap frog over the Woolworth Building if you were leader. Be thankful -you’ve got a conservative leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A what?” the kid yelled. Just then he went backward off the arm of the -seat plunk into a man’s lap.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Tickets,” the conductor shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Hey, mister, we’re on a funny-bone hike, and the train started -before we had a chance to get off. We have to go to Alsen. Do you know -if we can get ice cream cones there?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He just laughed and said he’d have to collect our fares. It only costs -ten cents from Catskill to Alsen.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said to the fellows, “Well, so long as the engineer’s going to be our -leader for a little while I’ll take a vacation.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So I sat down and began looking out of the window.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_IV'>CHAPTER IV<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE GO NORTH</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Alsen is a tenderfoot village. It’s about as big as Pee-wee, only it’s -more quiet. Pee-wee’s size is like Alsen but his noise is like New York.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The train stopped at Alsen and we got off. Right there was a train -standing at the station headed north.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Talk about luck,” Garry said. “I guess it was waiting for us.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “I enjoyed my trip south.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I was looking forward to hiking from here to camp,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Believe me, it’s nearer from Catskill,” I told him. “A train can go a -long way in five minutes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A comet can go billions of miles in a -second,” the Animal Patrol piped up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“If I see a comet I’ll get on it,” I told him; “follow your leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s one thing I never did; ride on a comet,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s about the only thing you haven’t done,” I told him. “Come on, -follow your leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I went marching up into one of the cars; Pee-wee tripped on the step.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s a short trip to take,” Warde laughed at him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That could happen to the smartest man in the world,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“All right, here we go back again,” I said as we all tumbled into a -couple of seats. Then I started to sing that crazy stuff about the Duke -of Yorkshire:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>There was the Duke of Yorkshire,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>He had ten thousand men;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>He marched them up the hill,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And he marched them down again.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And when they’re up, they’re up,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And when they’re down, they’re down;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And when they’re only half-way up,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>They’re neither up nor down.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>“Alsen is a mighty nice place, what I saw of it,” Garry said. “I -couldn’t see it on account of the station. The happiest ten seconds of -my life were spent there.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “I wish I could have spent a nickel there.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are you going to start for camp when we get to Catskill?” the kid -wanted to know. “I’m getting hungry.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I thought you didn’t have to eat for four years, that’s what you said,” -I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What are you talking about?” he yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “When we get back to Catskill you’re going to follow your -gallant leader in an east westerly direction till we come to the—North -Pole, I mean the clothespole, outside the cooking shack at Temple Camp. -We’re going to reach the pole like Doctor Cook didn’t do. When I hang my -patrol scarf on the clothespole outside the cooking shack that’s a sign -our journey is over. From the West Shore Line to the clothesline, that’s -our motto.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re starting,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Get your dimes ready,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I haven’t got anything smaller than a cent,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You mean you haven’t got any sense,” Pee-wee shot at me.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m poor but dishonest,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Just then I heard the door at the other end of the car slam shut and a -brakeman came through shouting, “Albany the first stop, the first stop -is Albany.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“G-o-o-d night!” I said. “The plot grows thicker.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s petrified,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re lost, strayed or stolen,” Garry began laughing.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all made a dash for the platform, but it was too late. We were foiled -again. The train was going at about forty-eleven miles an hour.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now what?” Pee-wee demanded, very dark and solemn like.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Answered in the affirmative,” I said; “we don’t.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t what?” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t care,” Hervey spoke up. “We can do some stunts in the State -Capital. We can jump over the seats in the Senate. Albany is only about -thirty miles away.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Posilutely; we can get back inside of four years and have a -couple of centuries to spare. Follow your leader wherever he goes. I may -jump over the governor’s head; they pass bills over his head. You learn -that in uncivil government.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The more we start for camp the farther we get from it,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Correct the first time,” I said; “be thankful you’re not on a comet.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What are we going to do?” he wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Is it a riddle?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No, it isn’t a riddle!” he shot back at me.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Because if it is, it’s a good one,” I said. “It’s about the best one I ever heard.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I like the West Shore Railroad,” Hervey said; “it’s full of pep; it -goes scout pace.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You wanted ginger in our trip back to camp,” I said, “and you’ve got -tabasco sauce. Gee whiz, you ought to be satisfied. We’ll go back to -camp by way of the island of Yap.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re the leader,” Warde said.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_V'>CHAPTER V<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE KEEP ON GOING NORTH</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>One thing I’ll say for Hervey Willetts and that is that wherever he -goes there is adventure. He carries it with him. He couldn’t just go on -a hike, that fellow couldn’t. He always has to start something.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Garry said, “Well, things seem to be moving.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh, they’re moving all right,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “There are only two directions left to go in.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Have patience,” I told him; “we’ll try them all; there are four, east -and west and up and down.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“And in and out,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” I said, “that’s six. I wonder how much the fare to Albany is—the -round trip?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s not so very round,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s a kind of triangular circle,” I told him. “If we pay our fare both -ways we don’t get any dinner in Albany, we’ll have to walk back. And if -we don’t have some dinner we can’t walk. So there you are; take your -choice. It’s as clear as mud.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’ve got us into a nice fix,” the kid said. “I knew you were crazy -when you made us throw away those chocolate bars. The next thing you’ll -have us in jail.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You should worry, you can eat the prison bars,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s see how much money we’ve got,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I had about seventy-five cents and the cap of a fountain pen that I use -for a whistle.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee had fifty-two cents and a lot of junk; we had a little over -seven dollars altogether. It was lucky that was enough for our fare to -Albany. But we didn’t get much change. The conductor said the train went -to Albany without change—I guess that’s why we didn’t get much.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“How can we hike back thirty miles to-day, tell me that?” the Animal -Cracker wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s easy,” I said; “by doing two miles at a time, that makes -fifteen. Are you getting frightened?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We don’t know where we’re going but we’re on our way,” Bert began -singing.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe it won’t be so far back as it is there,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, because it’s always shorter going south,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Six of us ought to be able to earn seven dollars in Albany,” Warde -said. “And we can take an evening train down.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m not going on any more trains,” Pee-wee yelled. “I’ve had enough of -trains. If we come back on a train it won’t stop till it gets to -Poughkeepsie, and then if we come up on another one it won’t stop till -it gets to Montreal. You don’t catch me getting on another train.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader,” I told him. “Follow your leader wherever he goes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Everybody in the train was laughing at us, but what did we care? It -might have been worse, we might have been on the Erie.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ve got enough left to wire to camp, if the worst comes to the -worst,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’ll have to be worse than that before <span class='it'>I’ll</span> wire,” said Hervey.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll say so,” I told him. “I’m not worrying, this train knows where -it’s going. If we forget to get out at Albany we’ll get out at Buffalo -and you can follow your leader across Lake Ontario. That used to be in -my geography.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I guess it’s there yet,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Take a slap on the wrist for that,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You all make me tired,” Pee-wee said, very disgruntled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Well, you’re having a good rest,” I told him. “We’re on our way to -Temple Camp, don’t worry. We’re only taking a long cut. Our trail is -tied in a knot. We’ll get there when we get there—maybe a little -sooner. All you have to do is follow your leader wherever he goes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Absolutely, positively,” Warde said; “that’s understood.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Even if he goes to sleep,” I said; “excuse me while I take a nap. I -expect to have a long walk this afternoon.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Just then the train began slowing down and the whistle started blowing -very loud and shrill. A brakeman with a red flag came hurrying through -the car.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I guess there must be a mosquito on the track,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe the engineer’s going to pick some blackberries,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden—bang! the cars knocked against each other, the train -stopped so suddenly. The whistle blew three or four times very quick and -shrill.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>In about one second I was on my feet. “Follow your leader,” I shouted. -And through the aisle I went with the rest of them after me all singing -those crazy rhymes that stuck in our minds like glue.</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Your job is to follow and not to suppose.</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And follow your leader wherever he goes.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<div><h2 id='ch_VI'>CHAPTER VI<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>You can bet we didn’t lose much time getting off the train. “Follow your -leader,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Garry said, “We’re in luck; we’re only about six or seven miles north of -Catskill.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You don’t call that luck, do you?” Hervey said. “Just when I was -counting on a nice trip to Albany.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I suppose you’d like to make a mistake and get on an ocean steamer,” I -told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Mistakes?” the kid shouted. “You’re the one that made mistakes famous.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” I said, “and you’re the one that put the wise crack in animal -crackers.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The last syllable of a doughnut is named after you,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Always thinking about doughnuts,” I said. “Look on the track, there’s a -friend of yours.” Right plunk across the track, about a couple of -hundred feet ahead of the train was a donkey hitched to a funny kind of -a wagon that was all machinery inside.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I guess it goes by clockwork,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It looks as if it doesn’t go at all,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It did us a good turn anyway,” I said; “it made the train stop.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, we had to laugh. The man that owned that outfit was an Italian -and he was yelling Italian at the donkey and trying to make him start. I -guess the donkey didn’t understand Italian.</p> - -<div class='figcenter' style='width:80%'> -<img src='images/illus-027.jpg' alt='' id='i027' style='width:100%;height:auto;'/> -<p class='caption'>“I GUESS THE DONKEY DIDN’T UNDERSTAND ITALIAN.”</p> -</div> - -<p class='pindent'>A lot of people got out of the train and stood around watching and the -engineer sat in his window looking as if he were very mad at the donkey. -But anyway the donkey didn’t care. When we got close enough we could see -that the wagon had emery wheels in it for grinding knives and scissors -and scythes and things like that and they went by a gas engine.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man was shouting, “Hey! Whater de mat? You go! Hey, whater de mat?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “We ought to have someone who can translate Italian. Suppose you -shout at him, Pee-wee; if that doesn’t start him nothing will.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man kept jerking the donkey’s bit, all excited, and shouting, “Hey -you, giddup, whater de mat?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Two or three passengers started pulling and jerking the donkey, and one -tried to push him, but it didn’t do any good. I felt mighty grateful to -that donkey. Anyway he had a will of his own, that’s one sure thing. -About a half a dozen passengers kept tugging at him but it didn’t do any -good. He just braced his legs and let them pull.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Maybe if we hold some grass in front of him he’ll follow it.” -But that didn’t work; I guess he wasn’t hungry.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon Warde said, “I’ve got an idea; let’s move him with the gas -engine. That engine’s about six horse power; it ought to be stronger -than one donkey power.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s an insulation!” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You mean an inspiration,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hey, giddup; hey you,” the Italian kept shouting, all the time hitting -the donkey with the whip.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Nix on that, it doesn’t do any good. What’s the use of licking -a donkey when you’ve got a gas engine to move him with? You leave it to -us, we’ll move him.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, “Mova de donk; hey boss, mova de donk!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” I said, “we’ll move him; we go to the movies and we know all -about moving. Have you got some rope?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I don’t know where the rope came from; maybe it came from the train and -maybe it came from the wagon. Anyway we fastened it through one of the -holes in the fly-wheel and wound it a couple of times round the shaft. -Then we dragged the rope over to a tree on the edge of the woods, behind -the wagon and tied it there. Everybody was laughing and the Italian was -shouting, “Hey, maka de gas, boss! Pulla de donk!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We told him to start the engine and let it run very slowly. Goodnight! -Laugh? First there was a kind of straining and creaking, but we knew the -engine was fixed solid because it was bolted right through a heavy -engine bed to the floor of the wagon. The rope was so tight it looked as -if it would snap. Pretty soon the donkey began to feel the pulling -because he braced his hind legs; he looked awful funny.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I bet on the donkey,” somebody shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I bet on the gas engine,” somebody else put in.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Everybody was laughing and the Italian was all excited, waving his whip -in the air and running about shouting, “Hey, giva de gas! Pulla de -donk!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden the donkey gave way and back he went after the wagon. He -kept trying to brace himself but it wasn’t any use; the little engine -went ck, ck, ck, ck, ck, ck, shaking and trembling, and back went the -donkey after the wagon, till the whole outfit was off the track.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He followed his leader all right,” Bert Winton shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Come on,” I said, “we have no time to be wasting here, let’s thank the -donkey for the good turn he did us and then see if we can find out where -we’re at. We’re probably somewhere.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure if we’re somewhere we ought to be able to get somewhere else,” -Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We don’t know which way to go,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll go every which way,” I said, “and then we’ll be sure to strike -the right way. One direction is just as good as another if not better. -Come on, follow your leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So off we marched into the woods singing:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>As the train started all the passengers looked out of the windows -laughing at us and waving their hands. Anyway we were more powerful than -that train because a donkey could stop it and we could move him off the -track, so it could get started, and that proves how smart boy scouts are -even when they don’t know where they’re at.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_VII'>CHAPTER VII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE REACH THE FICKLE GUIDE POST</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’d like to know where we are,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re in the Catskill Mountains,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You might as well say we’re in the universe,” Pee-wee said. “What good -does that do us?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You mean to tell me it isn’t good to be in the universe?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s one of the best places I know of,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure it is,” I told him. “Anybody who isn’t satisfied with the -universe——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re crazy!” Pee-wee yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader,” I said. “Follow your leader wherever he goes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your nose,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No wonder he goes up in the air so often if he follows that,” Garry -said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you think I’m going to go marching around the country for the rest -of my life?” the kid piped up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows,” I said. “You want -to go somewhere, don’t you? Well, I promise to lead you somewhere. -That’s just where you want to go. What more can you ask?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I kept marching in and out among the trees, touching some and not -touching others, the other fellows after me. Pretty soon I hit into the -road that crossed the track. We were about a quarter of a mile from the -track then. I kept along that road, sometimes walking on the stone wall -and sometimes going zigzag in the road. I knew we were going west and I -was pretty sure that Temple Camp was southwest, but I didn’t know how -far. I thought that pretty soon we would come to a crossroad and that -there would be a sign there.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon we did come to one and there was a sign there, all right. I -was glad of that because the road we were on had made so many turns I -didn’t know for certain which direction we were going in. Besides, the -sky was all cloudy so I couldn’t tell anything by the sun.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There’s a sign post!” one of the fellows shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Saved!” another fellow yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I didn’t strain my eyes to see what was on the signboard, but as soon as -I saw it I began passing in and out among the trees along the road, -grabbing each tree and going around it. All the while we were singing -those crazy rhymes. So that way I came to the sign post and grabbed hold -of it and around I went, only, good night, the post went round with my -hand.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There’s a good turn,” I shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now you didn’t do a thing but make the plot thicker,” Pee-wee yelled at -me at the top of his voice. “Now you’ve got everything mixed up.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I changed the whole map of the Catskills,” I said. “That’s nothing; see -how the map of Europe is changed. I don’t think much of a signboard that -changes its mind.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I don’t think much of a scout that changes a signboard,” Pee-wee -shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all stood there staring at the sign. On the top of that post were two -boards crossways to each other and on each board two directions were -printed with arrows pointing. On one board was -printed <span class='it'>COXSACKIE 8 M.</span>, with an arrow pointing one way, and -<span class='it'>ATHENS 5 M.</span>, with an arrow -pointing the opposite way. On the other board was -printed <span class='it'>CAIRO 9 M.</span>, with an arrow pointing one way, -and <span class='it'>CLAYVILLE 7 M.</span>, with -an arrow pointing the other way, and underneath that board was a little -board with <span class='it'>TEMPLE CAMP</span> printed on it. I guess scouts put that there.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>But a lot of good that sign did us because all we knew was that Temple -Camp was in the same direction as Clayville and we didn’t know which -direction Clayville was in.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader and you don’t know where you’re at,” Pee-wee said, -very disgusted like.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Wrong the first time,” I said. “The poem says follow your nose. Would -you rather believe the guide post than that beautiful poem? The poem -never changes but the guide post moves around. We know where we’re at, -we’re right here; deny it if you dare. We’re smarter than the guide -post.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re about as smart as a lunatic,” the kid shouted. “If you hadn’t -touched that we’d know which way to go. <span class='it'>Now</span> where is Temple Camp?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s easy,” I told him; “it’s where it always was.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You mean <span class='it'>you’re</span> like you always were,” he said; “you’re crazy.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s move it around again,” Hervey said, “and we’ll say the first -verse and let go the post just as we finish. Then let’s go the way it -says.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Good idea,” Warde said; “let’s all agree that we’ll go whichever way -the Temple Camp arrow points.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There are four directions,” Pee-wee said. “We’ll stand just one chance -in four of going the right way.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There are only two directions,” I said; “right and wrong. Deny it who -can. So we stand a fifty-fifty chance of going right. Anybody that knows -anything about arithmetic can tell that. Come on, follow your leader -wherever he goes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I grabbed hold of the sign post and started walking around with the rest -of them after me singing, “Follow your leader wherever he goes.” Some -merry-go-round! We sang the first verse and I stopped short when we got -to the word <span class='it'>goes</span>.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Come on,” I said, “Temple Camp is right over that way. Follow your -leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Trust to luck,” Hervey said; “if it’s wrong, so much the better. Let -the guide post worry. They had no right to put a pinwheel here for a -guide post.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Just what <span class='it'>I</span> say,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“How about others coming along?” Warde wanted to know. That fellow makes -me tired, he’s all the time using sense.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now what have you got to say?” Pee-wee yelled. “A scout is supposed to -be helpful.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, he’s supposed to help himself to all the cake he wants, like -you,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “As long as we’ve had all the fun we want here, let’s set -the post right before we go.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We haven’t had all the fun we want,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure we haven’t,” I put in. “We haven’t begun to have any yet.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I care more about dinner than I do about fun,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you mean dinner isn’t fun?” Garry asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m just as crazy as you are,” Bert said to me, “but we might as well go -crazy in the right direction if we can only find out what that is.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Carried by a large minority,” I said; “the board of directors is -appointed to find out the direction, so we can go crazy in that -direction.” Warde said, “The trouble is that other people that pass here -are not so crazy as we are and they’d like to know which way is which. -Some people are peculiar.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Some people are worse than peculiar,” the Animal Cracker shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The compliment is returned with thanks and not many of them, and we -wish ourselves many happy returns of the way. If anybody knows the way -this merry-go-round of a sign post is supposed to stand let him now -speak or else forever after hold his peace.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Piece of what?” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Piece of pie,” I said; “that’s what you usually hold, isn’t it?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde just went up to the sign post kind of smiling and turned it around -till he got it just where he wanted it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What’s the idea?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “Well, there are a couple of ideas.” I said, “I didn’t know we -could scare up as many as that among the whole lot of us.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe I’m wrong,” Warde said, “but I think that the side of the post -with dried mud on it should face the road. That mud was spattered by -wagons and autos. And I think the side that isn’t sunbaked faced the -woods where it’s damp and shady. And I think the board where the paint -is faded is the one that faced the sun. And so I think that Cairo is -over <span class='it'>there</span>, and Athens over <span class='it'>there</span> and Temple Camp over -<span class='it'>there</span>. See?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hip, hip, and a couple of hurrahs!” Hervey Willetts -said. “That means we can cut through these woods and come out at the end -of the old railroad branch. There’s a big apple tree over there, I fell -out of it once. It’s all woods over there and we stand a pretty good -chance of getting lost again.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What kind of apples are they?” Pee-wee wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Baked apples,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then I started off with the rest of them after me, singing <span class='it'>Follow -your leader wherever he goes</span>.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_VIII'>CHAPTER VIII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE DO A GOOD TURN</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>“There ought to be plenty of apples on that branch,” I said, as I went -along.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What branch?” the kid wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The old railroad branch,” I told him. “Don’t you know that apples grow -on a branch?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I guess none of us knew anything about that old branch but Hervey -Willetts. That fellow knows about the funniest things and places. He can -take you to old shacks in the woods and all places like that. He knows -all the farmers for miles around camp. He knows where you can get dandy -buttermilk. And he knows where you can get killed by quicksand and a lot -of other peachy places. He says that’s the kind of sand he likes because -it’s quick. He believes in action, that fellow.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “As long as you know where we’re going suppose you be leader for -a little while.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll be leader,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let Hervey be leader,” they all said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So I fell behind and I was glad to get rid of the job of leading for a -little while. But, oh boy, it was some job following! That fellow swung -up into trees and turned somersaults over stone walls and hopped on one -leg over big rocks—good night, we didn’t have any rest.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You wanted ginger,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, but we didn’t want cayenne pepper,” I told him. “Have a heart.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, that fellow didn’t miss anything, trees, rocks, fences, and -all the while he kept singing:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Follow your leader,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Follow your leader;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Follow your leader true.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>If he starts to roll,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Or falls in a hole;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Or shins up a tree or a telegraph pole.</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>You have to do it too,</p> -<p class='line' style='text-align:left;margin-left:4em;font-size:0.9em;'>you do;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>You have to do it too.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>I can’t tell you about all the crazy things that fellow did. It looked -awful funny to see the rest of us following, especially Pee-wee with a -scowl all over his face. I guessed Hervey knew where he was going all -right because no matter what he did he always came back to a trail.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon we came to the old railroad branch. A long time ago that -used to go to some mines. We followed the old tracks through the woods. -Hervey walked on one of the rails and we all tried to keep on it, but it -was hard balancing ourselves he went so fast.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I guess maybe we went a half mile that way and then we saw ahead of us a -funny kind of a car on the track. It wasn’t meant to carry people, it -was meant to carry iron ore, I guess. It was about as long as a very -young trolley car. A long iron bar, a funny kind of a coupling I guess -it was, stuck out from it. It was all open, like a great big scuttle, -kind of. There were piles of stones and earth and old holes all caved in -nearby. Those were the old iron mines, Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Gee whiz,” I told him, “I’ve been to Temple Camp every summer and I -never saw this place before. Christopher Columbus hasn’t got anything on -you.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader wherever he goes,” he said, and over the end of the -car he went and, kerflop, down inside, all the rest of us after him. -There was straw inside.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>That fellow couldn’t sit down long. In about ten seconds up he jumped -and shouted, “Follow your leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I was so tired I could have just lain in that little car till Christmas, -but I got up and so did the others, all except Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Come on, follow your leader,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Not much,” he said; “I’m going to lie here and take a rest. I’ve had -enough funny-bone hiking. If you think I’m going to follow you all over -the Catskill Mountains without any dinner, you’re mistaken. I know the -way home from here, it’s easy. Go ahead and march into the Hudson River -if you want to for all I care.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Which way do we go from here?” Hervey asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We follow the tracks straight along,” the kid said. “That will bring us -to the turnpike and all we have to do is to go through Leeds. <span class='it'>There</span>, -you think you’re so smart.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Righto,” Hervey said; “just climb out of the other end of the car and -keep going, right along the track.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Smart kid,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you think I’m going to be turning somersaults all the way home?” he -wanted to know. “The next time I join a parade it won’t be with a lot of -monkeys.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Those somersaults were all good turns,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“This place is good enough for me,” Pee-wee shot back at him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So we left him there sprawled out on the straw and followed Hervey in -and out of old holes, kind of like caves, and all around and over piles -of earth and everything till pretty soon he stopped and said, panting -good and hard, “What do you say to a plot?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I take them three times a day and before retiring,” I said. “What kind -of a plot? A grass-plot?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s have some fun with Pee-wee,” he said. “Did you hear him say he -knows the way home from here? He thinks all he has to do is to climb out -the other end of the car and keep going along the track to the -turnpike.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Well, isn’t that right?” Warde asked.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure it’s right,” Hervey said; “only it depends on where the other end -of the car is. See? That car’s on a turntable if anybody should ask -you.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“If it were a dinner table it would interest Pee-wee more,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I noticed there was a kind of platform under it with grass growing -through the cracks,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Come on, let’s see if he’s asleep and we’ll turn it around,” Hervey -said. “The woods look the same no matter which way you go. Follow your -leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He started tiptoeing over to the tracks holding his finger against his -lips and we all did just the same. I had to laugh, it seemed so funny. -He kept singing, <span class='it'>Follow your leader</span>, in a whisper.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>That fellow ought to be in my patrol, he’s so crazy.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_IX'>CHAPTER IX<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE FOLLOW OUR LEADER</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>There was Pee-wee, sprawled on the straw inside the little car, sound -asleep. The funny-bone hike had been too much for him, I guess. Hervey -got a stick and pushed with it against the rail right near the edge of -the turntable. We had to all get sticks and push before we could budge -it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>It squeaked as it went around, the part underneath was so rusty. We -brought it to one full turn so that the car stood with the long coupling -at the opposite side from where it had been before. We thought we might -as well let Pee-wee sleep a little longer so we went to a tree that -Hervey knew about and got some apples. Then we went back and sat in a -line on the edge of the car with our feet hanging inside and started -eating apples. After a little while we began singing, <span class='it'>Follow your -leader</span>, and that woke Pee-wee up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He opened one eye, then he stretched his arm, then opened the other eye -and sat up, staring.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Wheredgerget thabbles?” he wanted to know, rubbing his eyes.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Here, catch this and eat it.” Then I said, “Scout Harris of the -raving Raven patrol, alias the Animal Cracker, you have been elected by -an unanimous majority to lead the funny-bone hike. What say you? Yes or -yes? Do you know the way to Temple Camp?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A fool knows the way to Temple Camp,” he said, very disgusted like.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“And you claim you’re a fool?” Warde asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I claim you’re a lot of lunatics,” Pee-wee said, sitting there and -yawning and trying to eat an apple at the same time.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s your turn to lead,” Garry said. “Our career of glory is over and -we want to go home.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m tired of this crazy stuff and I don’t believe anybody here knows -the way to camp,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“This branch crosses the turnpike,” Pee-wee said. “Don’t you know the -little wooden bridge where the tracks cross the road?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh yes, the dear little wooden place,” I said; “how well I remember -it!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You turn left on the turnpike and go through Leeds,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Ah, but suppose the turnpike shouldn’t be there any more?” Garry said. -“Some strange things have happened since we started in a north southerly -direction from Catskill.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s because you had crazy leaders,” Pee-wee shot back. “If you’re -sensible and want to go back to camp I’ll show you the way.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh we’re sensible,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re the worst of the lot,” he shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “My idea is, just like I said, to follow the track right -along the same way we were going and that will bring us out at the -turnpike.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“If the turnpike hasn’t been turned around,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll be careful not to touch it with our hands when we get there,” -Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll lead you,” Pee-wee said; “it’s easy from here; I could do it with -my eyes closed.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“If you’ll keep your mouth closed I’ll be satisfied,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“But it isn’t going to be any funny-bone hike,” he said; “I’ll tell you -that.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’ll be a backbone hike—straight,” I said. “There’s no place like -home.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Home is all right, it’s a good place to start from,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Well, then, take us home; I’m ready,” Bert spoke up. “I don’t want any -more funny-bone hikes wished on me. Wish-bones are good enough, I’m -hungry.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So Pee-wee climbed over the end of the car, and started along and we all -followed.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader wherever he goes,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He’s going straight home,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are you sure you got out of the right end of the car?” Hervey asked -him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee was still kind of half-asleep, and he stopped and looked around. -“Sure, we got in at the end where the coupling is,” he said. “Come on, -follow me.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You can’t fool Scout Harris,” I said; “not even with a couple of cups -of couplings. Forward march, follow your leader!” And we started -singing:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Where’er we may roam,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>There’s no place like home.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee marched on ahead like a little soldier, munching an apple.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_X'>CHAPTER X<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE RETRACE OUR STEPS</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>He marched along the tracks for about half a mile, through the woods. As -he went along I remembered what Uncle Jeb said, that the woods look -different when you’re going in the opposite direction from which you -came. He said the way a tree looks depends on where you stand. And it’s -the same with hills and everything. So that’s why the woods only look -familiar when you’re going the same way that you went before. That’s the -reason for blazing trails.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Uncle Jeb says a person looks different front and back and it’s the same -with woods. Pee-wee marched along back the same way we had come, very -bold and sure.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>After a while he said, “I don’t know why we don’t come to the turnpike.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe it’s because it isn’t here,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are you sure you’re going the right way?” Bert asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure I’m sure,” he said; “only it’s longer than I thought it was.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe it got stretched,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee just kept trudging along and he said, “Maybe it seems long -because we’re kind of played out.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh, we don’t care as long as you get us home,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We trust you implicitly,” Warde told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re our guiding light,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee just trudged on.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon he said, “As long as you’re all so tired, maybe I can find—I -think I know a short cut.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Take us the way the raven flies,” I said; “the shorter the quicker.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I can see a road over there through the trees,” he said. “That goes -into the turnpike. It’ll be easier walking on the road.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“As long as you know you’re going the right way,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='it'>“Sure</span> I’m going the right way,” he said; “what’s the use of getting -scared. We’ll be home in twenty minutes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’ll be nice,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Won’t I be glad!” said Bert.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Just you follow me,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re following,” I told him. “We’re following our leader wherever he -goes. We know the animal cracker knows the woods. Have another apple?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Next he left the tracks and cut over to the left where we could see a -road through the trees. He hit into the road and hiked along.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure you’re right?” Bert asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you think I don’t know the way?” the kid said, very disgusted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon he came to a crossroad and <span class='it'>g-o-o-d night magnolia!</span> -Right there, staring us in the face was the fickle signboard that I had -turned around. Oh boy, you should have seen Pee-wee. The apple he was -eating fell out of his hand and he just stood there staring. He couldn’t -even speak.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Have no fear, our gallant leader is with us. Raving ravens do -not get rattled. Trust to Scout Harris. He knows the way. Follow your leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Maybe that signboard had been a pinwheel, but there it was at the very -same spot where it had been before.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “That’s one good thing about scouts, they always come back.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Pee-wee led us the right way, only in the wrong direction.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Just as you said,” Garry put in, “the turnpike has disappeared. That’s -why I never liked turnpikes, they’re so fickle.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There’s something wrong here!” the kid shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” I said, “it isn’t your fault, it’s the turnpike’s.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I started in the right direction,” Pee-wee shouted, “and I kept going -in the right direction, you can’t deny it. I’d like to know how we got -here?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s what <span class='it'>I’d</span> like to know,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I suppose we just walked here,” Bert said; “we followed our leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey started singing:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>The turnpike turned round</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And the trail it got bent,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>We followed our leader wherever he went.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>“Anyway, I’m sure I started in the right direction,” the kid said; “I -don’t care what anybody says.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Sure, if the right direction changes its mind that isn’t your -fault. Come on, let’s go back. It’s long past dinner-time.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let Warde be leader,” Hervey said; “he’s the only one here who has any -sense.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So we started following Warde back along the trail till we came to the -railroad tracks and along those to the little iron ore car.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “The best way to find out which way to go is to spin the -car around and call the coupling the arrow-head and go whichever way -that points.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re crazy,” Pee-wee shouted. “Will you talk sense and let’s start -for camp? We’ve been starting for camp all morning.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s the right way to do,” I told him; “have a lot of different -starts and if you can’t use one you can use another. Didn’t you ever -hear of having two strings to your bow? A scout should never try to go -anywhere without having two or three extra starts.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Just then Hervey and Bert and Garry started moving the turntable around -and, <span class='it'>good night</span>, you should have seen Pee-wee stare. All of a sudden -he went up like a sky rocket.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now I know what you did!” he yelled. “You turned this around while I -was asleep—you can’t deny it. You made the right direction the wrong -one!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “The right direction is just as much right now as it ever was. -You can’t blame us.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re all crazy!” he screamed. “Are we going to go home to camp and -get something to eat or not? Do you think I’m going to starve?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Not while you’re conscious,” I said. “Would you like to lead the way -foodward or shall we elect another leader? What say we all? Shall -Pee-wee lead us to the promised land or not? Answer, <span class='it'>not</span>. You’re -rejected by a large plurality.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let Garry try it,” Hervey said. “Warde’s all right only he has too much -sense.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So that time we started in the right direction, following the old tracks -toward the turnpike, with Garry leading us. We kept singing <span class='it'>Follow -your leader</span> just the same as before.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XI'>CHAPTER XI<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE WAIT FOR THE BOAT</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Now this is the chapter where we’re all so hungry. It’s dedicated to -Hoover. The name of it was “The Famine” only I decided to use another -name. But believe me, in this chapter we’re hungrier than war-torn -Europe. All that morning we had been marching around the country singing -those crazy rhymes and we were having so much fun that we didn’t realize -it was past dinner-time. All we had had was one bite of chocolate each -except the two bites that Pee-wee took. Seven bites isn’t much for six -scouts.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon we came out into the turnpike and then we knew the way back -to camp. It was a pretty long hike but we knew the way. All we had to do -was to follow the turnpike south till we came to the blackberry road and -that would take us into the road to camp.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “I hope the camp is still there.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “If we get back in time for supper we’ll be lucky.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“How about lunch?” Pee-wee wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Nothing about it,” I said; “it just isn’t.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you think I’m going to walk ten miles with nothing -to eat?” he shot back. “You call this a funny-bone hike, it’s a famine -hike, that’s what it is. They’ll find our skeletons some day marching -around through these woods——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Following our leader,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’ll be a funny-bone parade,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’ll be a bone parade all right,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe we’ll strike a farmhouse,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “I know a better idea than that. What time is it?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Two o’clock,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “Good, I thought it was later. Do you like fish?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“How many fish?” Pee-wee wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh just about,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“If you’re asking me,” I told him, “I could even eat some fish-hooks I’m -so hungry. I could eat a whole school of fish.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I could eat a whole university of them,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you like them fried?” Hervey asked us.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“<span class='it'>M-m-m-mm</span>,” I said; “I can just hear them sizzling now. Lead me to them.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “We’ll have to wait for them. Let’s hang out on the bridge and -pretty soon the fishing boat will come along; it always comes up from -the Hudson about this time. I know the men on that boat, I’ve been out -fishing with them. They’ll give us a couple of fish and we can cook -them. You leave it to me, I’ll fix it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What kind of fish do they catch?” Pee-wee wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Smoked herring and salt codfish and canned salmon,” I told him, “and -whales.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I could eat a whole whale,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sometimes they catch fish-balls,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Fish-balls or footballs or baseballs or masquerade balls, -I don’t care, I could eat anything,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then Hervey led the way along the turnpike till we came to the -bridge across the creek. That creek is pretty wide and it empties into -the Hudson. We were feeling all cheered-up on account of the chance of -getting something to eat and we marched along shouting:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it snows;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>Then Hervey started shouting:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>We’re going to have our wish,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>We’re going to get some fish.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>Then Pee-wee began yelling:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>I’m so hungry that I’m pale,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And I’d like to eat a whale.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, just as I told you, we were all crazy, especially Hervey -Willetts; he was even crazier than I was and I was the craziest one -there next to Bert and Warde and Garry. But one thing I’ll say for -Hervey, he knows every place for miles around Temple Camp, and he knows -everybody too, farmers and all.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>In about five minutes we came to the bridge that the turnpike goes over. -That bridge is a drawbridge and the creek under it is wide and deep and -you can catch fish there only for one thing and that is that there -aren’t any. There’s a big lever to turn the bridge around with.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s turn it around,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ve had enough turning around,” the kid shouted. “I’m not going to -follow my leader any more till he starts eating fish.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh very well,” Hervey said, “I was just going to give you a free ride.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A free seat is good enough for me,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I second the motion,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There isn’t going to be any motion,” I said, quoth I. “This is going to -be a case of sitting still.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What are you going to do? Stand on your head on the railing?” I asked -him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He just vaulted up onto the railing of the bridge and we all did the -same and sat there swinging our legs and waiting for the fishing boat -and singing those rhymes and changing them around. Pretty soon we were -all shouting:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t fall in the creek for the water’s quite wet,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But think of the fish that we’re soon going to get;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>             Mm-m</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XII'>CHAPTER XII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE COLLECT TOLL</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>After about six weeks and ten years the fishing boat came chugging up -the creek. Anyway it seemed as long as that before it came. The chugging -of that engine sounded good.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now for the eats,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “They’ll have a lot of perch and some bass and maybe some -soft-shell crabs.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Isn’t there anything in this creek?” the kid wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Nothing except water,” Hervey told him. “Anyway we haven’t got any -fishline, have we? Thank goodness we’ve got some matches, we can start a -fire.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll fry them brown, hey?” Pee-wee said, all excited.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Any color will suit me,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“They won’t be any color at all when we get through with them,” Bert -said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>By that time the boat was quite near and we could see a couple of -baskets of fish in the cockpit, and there were two men. Oh boy, how I -longed to eat them, I mean the fish. Pretty soon one of the men shouted -for us to open the bridge, so they could pass.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I called, “Hey, mister, will you give us a couple of fish? We’re perched -up here waiting for some perch.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He laughed and said sure, but that we should open the bridge. Now the -way to open that bridge was to walk around pushing a big iron handle -like a crowbar only longer. It was kind of like a windlass. I guess one -man could do it all right but it took three of us to get the bridge -started. It wasn’t a very big bridge but I’m not saying anything about -that because we’re not so big either except our appetites and maybe one -reason we couldn’t push so well was because we were hungry.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Garry said, “I guess when the creek is nearly empty boats can go under -this bridge all right.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Don’t talk about being empty; I’m so full of emptiness it’s -flowing over. Get your hands on this thing and push. If anything should -go wrong now we’ll have to eat the Animal Cracker.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then we all started pushing the long iron handle—it was a lever, -that’s what it was. All the while the boat was standing about twenty -feet away from the bridge and one man was keeping her bow upstream with -a big oar while the other man was kind of fumbling in one of the baskets -picking out a nice big fish. Pretty soon he held one up all wet and -dripping and, oh boy, it looked good. I guess it was nearly a foot long. -He shouted, “How will that one do?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Mm-m-<span class='it'>mm</span>!” I said. “Lead me to it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I know where there’s an old piece of tin in the woods,” Pee-wee said, -all the while pushing the big lever for all he was worth; “a scout is -observant.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I could eat a sheet of galvanized iron,” I told him. “A little salt and -pepper and I could eat a piece of railroad track.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I mean to cook the fish on,” the kid said; “you’re crazy. Don’t you -know how to fry a fish? I’m going to be the one to cook it because I’ve -got the matches.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hang on to them,” I said; “things are beginning to look better. Keep -pushing; think of fried fish and keep pushing.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee began thinking harder and pushing harder; I could just <span class='it'>see</span> -him thinking. And with one hand he felt in his pocket to make sure the -matches were all safe. He carries matches in a box like a cylinder that -shaving soap comes in.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>It was kind of hard getting the bridge started but once it was started -it kept moving slowly around. The reason you can move a bridge around -like that is because it’s well balanced. But, gee whiz, I’m glad I’m not -so well balanced because I wouldn’t have so much fun. Underneath the -floor of the bridge were rollers on a track that went around in a -circle. So pretty soon we had turned the bridge so that it was -lengthways to the creek instead of across the creek and there was a -passageway on either side of it where boats could pass.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Marooned on a desert drawbridge,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Poor, starving natives,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Garry said, “It’s like being on an island.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A merry-go-round, you mean,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s call it Merry-go-round Island,” Hervey sang out.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Just then the boat came chugging very slowly along one side of the -bridge and one of the men handed me the fish.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Many thanks and more of them, mister, you saved our lives.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t let it slide out of your hands,” he said; “look out, it’s -slippery.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“If you let it slip out of your hands you’ll go in after it,” Pee-wee -shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Believe me, I kept tight hold of that fish. It was a dandy fish, it was -big enough for about six people to have all they wanted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, “That will keep you quiet for a while; be sure to scrape -all the scales off and clean him out good.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You leave that to us,” I told him, “we’re boy scouts. Cooking fish is -our middle name. There’s only one thing we do better than cooking fish -and that is eating them. We can eat them till the cows come home and -sometimes the cows stay out all night where we live. Believe me, I never -had much use for Henry Hudson in the history books, but I’m glad he -discovered the Hudson River as well as the Hudson Boulevard.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s in Jersey City,” Pee-wee shouted. “Do you think that’s named -after Henry Hudson?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s named after the Hudson automobile,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure it is,” I told him, “just the same as the Hudson River is named -after the Hudson River Day Line; you learn that in the fourth grade; -here, take this fish while I help turn the merry-go-round around, -around, around. Then we’ll eat.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The boat went chugging up the creek, the men laughing and waving their -hands at us. Pee-wee sat down on the floor of the bridge hugging the -fish as if it were his long lost brother. The rest of us started pushing -the lever.</p> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='it'>But, oh boy, it didn’t push.</span></p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XIII'>CHAPTER XIII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE ARE MAROONED ON A DESERT ISLAND</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>“Come on and help,” I said to Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Suppose the fish jumps off the bridge,” he said. “Do you think I’m -going to take any chances?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The strength of an Animal Cracker doesn’t count for much,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Look out the fish doesn’t jump in the creek with you,” I told Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Well, we pushed and pushed and pushed and braced our feet and kept -pushing for dear life, but we couldn’t budge that lever. Pee-wee held -the fish tight under one arm and helped us but it wasn’t any use. We -just couldn’t budge the lever.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re marooned for fair,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Boy Scouts Starve on Merry-go-round Island,” I said. “That would be a -good heading for a newspaper article.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Merry-go-standstill you mean,” Hervey began laughing. “What do we -care? It’s all in the game. Come ahead, give her one more push; follow -your leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you call starving a game?” the kid fairly yelled at him. I had to -laugh, he looked so funny standing there with the fish under his arm.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We tried some more but—no use. “The merry-go-round has stalled,” I said. -“We’ve got Robinson Crusoe tearing his hair with jealousy.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re on a desert island in earnest,” Bert said. He was the last to -give up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t talk about desert, it reminds me of dessert,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m not so much in earnest either,” Hervey began laughing. “Come on, -follow your leader.” Then he started to jump up on the railing.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “It’s a very good joke; he, he, ho, ho, and a couple of ha ha’s! -But how about lunch? We can’t start a fire on this bridge without -burning it up and besides we haven’t got any kindling.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The only way we can get off the bridge is to burn it up,” Hervey said. -“The boy scout stood on the burning bridge——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Eating fish by the peck,” I said. “This is a new kind of a desert -island—1921 model. We made it ourselves. But what care we? We have food. -We care naught, quoth I.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What good is the food?” Pee-wee screamed. “You broke the bridge, that’s -what you did! And now we’ve got to go hungry.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Go?” I said. “What do you mean by ‘go’? You mean we’ve got to stay here -hungry. Our skeletons will be found on Merry-go-round Island——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Following their leader,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Along with the skeleton of a faithful fish,” Bert said. “That’s what -happens to young boys when they go around too much.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s what happens when any one goes around with this bunch,” the kid -shouted. “You’re so crazy that it’s catching; even the sign posts and -bridges go crazy. The next time I go on a funny-bone hike I won’t go at -all, but if I do I’ll bring my lunch you can bet.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What’ll we do next?” Hervey wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Let’s have a feast, let’s feast our eyes on the fish. I can -just kind of hear him sizzling over the fire.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You can’t eat sizzles,” the kid said, very disgusted like.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “No, but you can think of them. Let’s all think how fine the fish -would taste if we could only cook him. Do you remember how we moved a -lunch wagon by the power of our appetites? Maybe we can move the bridge -that way.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You make me tired,” Pee-wee yelled. “If you hadn’t started this -crazy—look at the chocolate bars you made us throw away.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’d like to have a look at them,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all perched up on the railing of the bridge, Pee-wee holding the fish -under one arm for fear it might flop off the bridge. Safety first. -Sitting the way we did we were all facing the shore. There were woods -there and dandy places to build a fire. There were twigs and things all -around.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “It would be fine over there. We could just get that piece of -tin Pee-wee was telling us about and gather up some of those nice dry -twigs and start a little fire and let the tin get red hot and then lay -the fish on it——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Shut up!” the kid shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Only the trouble is we’re marooned on a desert island,” I said. “Anyway -there’s one thing I like and that is adventure. I was always crazy to -starve on a desert island.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You don’t have to tell us you’re crazy,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We followed you back to the sign post,” I told him, “and you promised -to cook us a fish. Let’s see you do it. A scout’s honor is to be -trusted, he’s supposed to keep his word—scout law number forty-eleven.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“How about diving?” Hervey asked. “It’s the only way to get -into the water; there isn’t any way to climb down off this thing; the -underneath part of it is way inside.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Where did you expect it to be? Up in the air?” I asked him. “The -underneath part is usually underneath.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Not always,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Well, anyway,” I said, “I’m not going to risk my life diving into -water that I don’t know anything about. Suppose I should break my skull; -what good would a fish dinner be to me?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s a good argument,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s a peach of an argument,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s what Pee-wee calls logic. Gee whiz, but I’m hungry.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Same here,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Same here,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Same here,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Same here,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m as hungry as the whole five of you put together,” our young hero -said. “I heard a story that a man can go forty days without food, but -you can’t get me to swallow that.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s about the only thing that you wouldn’t swallow,” I told him. “I’m -so hungry I’d swallow any argument I ever heard; I’d swallow any kind of -a story, especially a fish story.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There you go again,” Bert said; “what’s the good of reminding us about -it?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’d swallow a serial story,” I told him; “any kind of cereal, oatmeal, -cream of wheat, or anything.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So we just sat there looking across the creek into the woods, and -swinging our legs, but we were too hungry to sing.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s look for a sail on the horizon,” Hervey said. “That’s always the -way people do when they’re starving on desert drawbridges. This would -make a good movie play.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You mean a good standing still play,” I said; “the trouble with this -hike is there isn’t any action in it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You mean there isn’t any food in it,” Pee-wee piped up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t you care,” I told him, “there’s a desert island. What more do you -want? And we’ve got plenty of food only we can’t cook it. That’s better -than being able to cook it and not having any. We should worry.”</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XIV'>CHAPTER XIV<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE SEE A SAIL</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Now after that last chapter are supposed to come about ten chapters -where we don’t do anything except just be hungry. But believe me, that’s -enough. We just sat there swinging our legs from the railing of that -desert island, scanning the horizon for a sail.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “I wonder if there’s any treasure buried on this desert island. -Maybe Captain Kidd secreted some Liberty Bonds here; maybe he hid some -bars of gold.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I wish he had left some bars of chocolate here,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Or some small change, chicken feed, or anything we could eat,” Garry -put in. “I’d be glad to eat a bale of hay or shredded wheat or a -whisk-broom or anything else like that.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“They’re just about getting ready to cook supper at Temple Camp now,” -Warde said; “Chocolate Drop<a id='r1_1'/><a href='#f1_1' style='text-decoration:none'><sup><span style='font-size:0.9em'>*</span></sup></a> is just about beginning to peel potatoes. -Pretty soon he’ll be stirring up batter for cookies. I think they’re -going to have strawberry jam and crullers to-night and—and cheese -and—lemon pie. They’ll be having baked beans to-night, too, on account -of it being Saturday. Oh boy, I can just see that nice slice of brown -pork on top——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Will you keep still!” Pee-wee screamed.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” said Hervey; “whatever it is, let’s do it. If we’re going to -starve let’s get some fun out of it. I bet I can beat anybody starving.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Pee-wee can beat you at that with both hands tied behind him, -can’t you, Kid? Once I read about some men who were going to freeze to -death in an ice cream freezer or somewhere; maybe it was up at the North -Pole. So they wrote a note and stuck it up on a pole, maybe they stuck -it on the North Pole, and they told what had become of them and how they -had died a terrible death so that the world may be able to know about -it. So let’s write a note and say that we starved here because we -couldn’t cook a fish and that we hope our parents will take a lesson -from us and not go round so much when they grow up. I was always wild, I -used to ride on a runaway clotheshorse when I was a kid.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re a kid now,” our young hero shouted. “You think it’s funny, don’t -you?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I know which is north and which is south,” I said, very sarcastic, “and -anyway, I stay awake while I’m turning around. Do you think Cruson -Robsoe got mad just because he was on a desert island? All he had was a -footprint in the sand and we’ve got a fish—to look at. Isn’t he pretty? -I bet there’s nice white meat inside of him, and a lot of bones. I -wonder if he has a funny-bone? As long as we can’t get away from here -let’s each tell our favorite dessert. I say let’s die bravely, like boy -scouts, hungry to the end.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden, <span class='it'>good night</span>, Garry nearly fell off the railing; he -was waving his hands and shouting, “A sail! A sail!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What kind of a sale?” Bert asked him. “A special sale or a cake sale or -what? If it’s a cake sale lead me to it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Garry just kept shouting, “A sail! A sail! A sail on the horizon!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I don’t see any horizon,” I said. “Where is it?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Along there through the woods,” he said. “A sail! A sail! We are -shaved!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What are you shouting about?” I said. “That isn’t a sail, it’s a Ford -car! Hurrah! Hurrah! And a couple of hips!”</p> - -<hr class='footnotemark'/> - -<div class='footnote'> -<p class='footnote'> -<span class='footnote-id' id='f1_1'><a href='#r1_1'>*</a></span> - -The darky cook at Temple Camp.</p> - -</div> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XV'>CHAPTER XV<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE FORM A RESOLVE</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>We all started shouting, “We are shaved! We are shaved! A Fraud car! A -Fraud car on the horizon!” I guess the driver of that Ford car thought -we were crazy.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I hope he’ll stop before he runs into the creek,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The car was coming along the turnpike at the rate of about a half a -million miles a year and I shouted, “Hey, mister, whoever you are, -please stop before you get here; it was raining last night and the water -is wet.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Stop your fooling,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Do you think I want that car to come plunging into the creek? -Suppose that driver is blind.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“She’s coming under full sail,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hurrah!” they all shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“She’s missing in one cylinder,” Bert said. Then we all started -shouting, “Saved! At last we are saved!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Just then, <span class='it'>good night</span>, that Ford car turned off into a side road and -we couldn’t see it any more.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now you see what you get for fooling,” the kid shot at me. “If we had -shouted ‘help’ all together as loud as we could he’d have come straight -along. You think it’s fun being imprisoned here with nothing to eat; you -make me tired. Maybe you don’t know that not much traffic comes along -this old turnpike; that’s why they don’t have any bridge-tender here.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“They have tenderfoot bridge-tenders,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe no one else will come along all night,” Pee-wee said, “and then -what are we going to do? Suppose a wagon or an auto should come along -after dark and we didn’t see it coming; it would plunge to death and -then I hope you’d be satisfied.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s right,” Warde said, kind of serious, “we haven’t even got a -lantern to swing. How could we warn anybody?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We can’t even shout if we don’t get something to eat,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” Bert said, “we’ll be so weak we won’t even be able to lift our -voices.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re in a desperate predicament,” Pee-wee said, very dark and serious -like. I guess he got those words out of the movies.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe we could tie a note to the fish and throw him in the water,” I -said. “When someone catches him they’ll find out we’re in distress.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No you don’t,” the kid yelled, hanging onto the fish while I tried to take -it away from him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“If we could only send up a signal,” Warde said. “It’s all very well -joking but if it gets dark it will be mighty bad with this bridge open -and no one standing guard at the ends of the road.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There’ll be a tragedy,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, when I heard Warde speak that way I realized that it might be -pretty dangerous there after dark. And I was a little scared about it -because it seemed that no one came along that road very much and maybe -it would be night before anyone came.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Well, if it gets toward night and no one comes either way I’ll -take a chance and dive and swim to shore. One of you fellows will have -to dive and swim to the other shore too.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll do that,” Hervey sang out.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“But we’ll wait till it’s necessary,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Now maybe you think that because we are scouts we should have been able -to get to shore easily enough, and if it were only a case of swimming -that fish wouldn’t have anything on us. But we couldn’t get from that -bridge into the water except by diving and diving is dangerous when you -don’t know the water you’re diving into. Especially near a bridge it’s -dangerous because there are apt to be piles sticking up under the -surface of the water. So that’s why we have a rule never to dive unless -we know about the place where we’re diving. But, gee whiz, if it’s a -case of an auto plunging into the water or taking a chance myself, I’ll -take the chance every time. And I know that Hervey Willetts would dive -into the Hudson River from the top of the Woolworth Building if -anybody dared him to do it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Anyway, let’s not lose our morale,” I said. “We’re here because we’re -here. Scouts are supposed to be resourceful; let’s sit up on the railing -again and think.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“As soon as the sun goes down I’m going to dive,” Hervey said. “Do you -see that big maple tree in the woods? As soon as I can’t count the -leaves on that top branch any more I’m going to dive. I don’t know how -deep it is or what’s under the water, but I’m going to stand guard down -the road a ways. What do you say?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are you asking me?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I sure am,” he said; “you’re the only patrol leader here.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I just said, “Well, if you want to know what I’m going to do I’ll tell -you. I never broke up a game yet. I’m going to follow my leader -wherever he goes. I’m going to take care of the other side of the road. -I’m not going to ask where I’m headed for nobody knows. And I’m not going -to weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose. And I’m not going to start to -ask questions, or hint or propose. There are some scouts here that are -not so stuck on this crazy game. But, believe me, it’s more of a game -than I thought it was. You were the one that started it. No people are -going to lose their lives on account of us. I’m going to follow my leader -wherever he goes. So now you know.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you call me a quitter?” Pee-wee shouted in my face.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Look out for the fish,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I don’t care anything about the fish,” he yelled. “I’m not hungry. I’m -in this funny-bone hike and I’ll follow Hervey Willetts if he—if he—if -he—stands on his head on top of a bonfire—I will. So there!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He wouldn’t do such a thing, don’t worry,” I said. “He couldn’t keep -still long enough. Pick up the fish before he flops off the desert -island. Safety first, that’s our motto. Hey, Hervey?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s us,” Hervey said. “Let’s tell some riddles.”</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XVI'>CHAPTER XVI<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE ARE SAVED</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>So then we all sat on the railing of the desert island and sang <span class='it'>Follow -your leader</span>, and Pee-wee joined in good and loud. He kept the fish -under his arm. When it comes to a showdown Pee-wee is loyal. He can even -be loyal to a fish.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Maybe we sat there for as much as an hour and Hervey was telling us -about all the crazy things you can do on a Follow your leader hike. All -of a sudden Garry shouted, “A sail! A sail! Another sail on the -horizon!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Is it the same horizon?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s a red sail,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s a red cow, you mean,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We are saved!” they all started yelling again. “A cow! A cow! A red cow -with white spots! She is coming to our rescue!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe she’ll give us some malted milk,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Oh boy, I had to laugh. There, away way down the road a cow was coming -along, waddling from one side to the other and as she came nearer we -could see how she was swishing her tail.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“She’s making about ten knots an hour,” Garry said; “she’s coming -straight for us. She is bringing milk to the starving castaways. Watch -and see if she turns into that side road.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“She has passed it!” Bert yelled. “She is coming straight for us under -full sail. Hold the fish up as a signal of distress. She is a hero, I -mean a shero.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>It looked awful funny to see that old cow lumbering along, and every -time she stopped to eat a leaf or something we thought she was going to -turn into a side lane.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There’s a little girl right behind her,” Bert said. “She’s carrying a -big whip; she’s driving the cow.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>That little girl was about half as big as Pee-wee. She had on a big -sunbonnet and a kind of a gingham apron and she came hiking along behind -the cow with that great big whip over her shoulder. She looked awful -little.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you think I want to be rescued by her?” the kid shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’d let a mosquito rescue me, I’m so hungry,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon the little girl and the cow were right at the end of the -road where the end of the bridge belonged. The cow didn’t seem surprised -but the little girl did. The cow just started to eat grass as if she -didn’t care whether she got across or not.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Road closed on account of a desert island,” Bert called.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You have to take a detour around through the Panama Canal,” Garry -shouted. “Don’t be frightened, we won’t hurt you.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Hey, little girl, would you be kind enough to go to the -nearest house and tell the people that some boy scouts are starving on -this bridge on account of it being open?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Why don’t you close it,” she asked us kind of just a little bit scared -and surprised.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Because it doesn’t work,” I said. “See, we’ll show you. It’s on a -strike.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then we all started pushing the big lever and she began to laugh.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you think it’s a joke?” Pee-wee shouted at her.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’rrre dunces,” she said, rolling her r’s awful funny. “Do you think -you can push it arraound like a trreadmill churrrn?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I don’t know what a treadmill churn is,” I told her, “because I’ve -never been marooned on one——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t you even know how to make butterrr?” she said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We know how to eat it,” I said, “and that’s enough.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’rrre trying to turrrn it raound,” she called. “It daon’t go all the -way raound, it goes <span class='it'>back</span>. Lift that plug in the floorrr and put the -leverrr in therrre and then push; it’ll go back the same way. It only -goes half-way and back—Mr. Smarrrty.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“<span class='it'>G-o-o-d night!</span>” I said. “I thought it was a merry-go-round.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Did you think you werrre ter th’ caounty fairrr?” she asked us.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>She just stood there staring at us as if she thought we were escaped -lunatics from Luna Park.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Pardon us, but we never studied drawing so we don’t know -anything about drawbridges. Do you mean this thing in the floor that -looks like the head of a bolt?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Right therrre at yourrr feet,” she said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>On the floor about three feet from the lever was a kind of a round iron -plate that looked like the top of a big bolt. It was just a kind of a -plug and it lifted out. All we had to do was to haul the lever out and -put it in there and push. There was a kind of reverse gear that made the -bridge go back. And all the while we had been pushing and pushing and -trying to make that pesky old bridge keep going around like a -merry-go-round. But that wasn’t the way it worked. The end of it that -belonged at the north had to go back to the north; the bridge only went -half-way around.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>It wasn’t hard closing it again when we got it started. It moved back -very slowly until the ends of it fitted the ends of the road. The little -girl just stood there kind of disgusted with us. Pee-wee didn’t say a -word.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>As soon as the way was open the cow started across, the little girl -after her. She looked back two or three times as if she didn’t know what -to make of us. Once the cow looked back, kind of puzzled like; that’s -the way it seemed to me.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XVII'>CHAPTER XVII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE COOK THE DUCK</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>“Rescued by a brave, heroic little girl,” I said, as we went tramping -off into the road.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s be sure that we’re headed in the right direction,” Warde said. -“After what happened I don’t trust myself at all. Is this the end of the -bridge we got on at, or is it the other end?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s one end or the other,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“One end’s as good as the other if not better,” Hervey said. “Come on, -follow your leader——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Have a heart,” I said; “wait a minute. Let me collect my senses. -<span class='it'>That’s</span> north and <span class='it'>that’s </span>south, and the Hudson is over that -way—east. This creek flows into the Hudson. All right, we’re supposed to -go in the opposite direction from the direction that little girl is -taking. We’re on the right end of the bridge.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Right,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That means that the piece of tin that Pee-wee saw is across the -bridge,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll go back and hunt for it,” said Pee-wee. “Here, hold the fish.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“At last we’re going to have something to eat,” I said; “I’m so hungry I -could eat the piece of tin and all.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re not going to tell them at camp that we were saved by a little -girl, are you?” Pee-wee wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Yes, and I’m going to tell them that a cow laughed at us,” I said. -“Hurry up, go and hunt up that piece of tin; I’m starving.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>You see how it was, we were at the north end of the bridge and our way -was north. I’m telling you because everything was so mixed up on that -crazy hike that maybe you don’t know where you’re at. This is chapter -Seventeen and it’s called, “We Cook the Duck” but you can’t always go by -names. Don’t get worried, if you lose your way just follow me.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>After that terrible adventure the principal thing about us was that we -were hungry; we were a kind of a walking famine. I don’t know if that -fish shrunk, but anyway it didn’t look as big as it had looked before. I -guess it was because our appetites were bigger.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee started back across the bridge to hunt for the piece of tin he -had seen in the woods, and the rest of us began gathering twigs and -pieces of wood for a fire. Oh boy, but that fish looked good! He was -dead by that time but he was good and fresh just the same. We ran a -forked stick through his gills and hung him in the water where it was -cool and sat around waiting for Pee-wee. We had everything all ready to -start the fire.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon along came our young hero with the piece of tin, tiptoeing -across the bridge, very excited and mysterious.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “What’s the matter now? Are we supposed to follow your lead when -you do that? Wait till we have something to eat first.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t talk about anything to eat,” he whispered; “we’re going to have a -feast, we’re going to have a banquet, we’re going to have roast duck. -Shh! Here, take this tin. Look over there in the marshes. See? Almost -under the end of the bridge? Do you see that streak of white? -Shh! That’s a duck. He’s caught in the branches of that—shh!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all tiptoed very softly about half-way across the bridge and leaned -way over the railing at the place that he pointed out to us under the -other end. There was an old fallen tree there and some of its branches -were sticking out of the water. In among them was a duck. I guessed he -must have been caught there. It seemed as if he didn’t see us or hear -us, so I thought he must be caught there in some way because ducks are -so suspicious.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Mm-mmm!” I said. “I can just taste him.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Looks good to me,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Talk low,” said Bert.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Go back and wait, I’m going to get him,” the kid said. “I was the one -to discover him.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I don’t care who gets him as long as I can eat him,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll roast him, hey?” the kid whispered. “Go back and wait.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Look out you don’t scare him away,” Warde said; “even if he’s caught -there he might break loose. Go easy and stalk him.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You leave it to me,” the kid said. “You go back and have everything -ready. Maybe you think just because Roy and Hervey can lead us in a lot -of crazy stunts that they’re the only scouts here. But you have to thank -me for roast duck, so you see?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re so smart you can even find a sign post——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Shh-h!” he said, starting off.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“If there’s any cranberry sauce down there bring it along, too,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He waved his hand behind him for us to keep still, and went tiptoeing -back across the bridge. We went back to the place where we were going to -make our fire. We could see him take off his khaki shirt (so he wouldn’t -get it wet, I suppose) and hang it over the railing of the bridge. -Pretty soon we could see him down below, across the creek, crawling over -that fallen tree.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “This will be a big feather in Pee-wee’s cap.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It will be a big helping on my plate you mean,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What do you mean, plate?” Bert wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Look! What do you know about that? The little codger’s got him!” Garry -shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Mm-rn!” I said. “We’ll fry the fish and eat him while we’re waiting for -the duck to cook.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s not bother with the fish,” I said: “Luck seems to be coming our -way at last.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Have you got him?” I shouted to Pee-wee as he climbed up over the -railing at the other end of the bridge.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Yop,” I heard him say.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll only have to clean the fish and scale him,” Warde said, “and -it’ll be a nuisance. Let’s fry the duck instead. There’ll be plenty for -all hands because that’s a good big one. Fish only makes you thirsty, -anyway. I’m not so crazy about fish—not when there’s duck. Mmm!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We should worry about the fish,” I said, and I went over to the water -and threw the fish into the water, stick and all. “He only brought us -bad luck anyway,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” Garry said; “give me duck any day. Look at the size of that one, -will you?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I think it’s a goose,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I think it’s a swan,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’ll be much easier to eat a duck without any plates or knives or -forks,” I said; “we should worry about fish. We can just take the duck’s -legs and wings and—oh boy—we can just pick them dry.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hurry up with the duck,” Hervey called to Pee-wee; “we’re not going to -bother about the fish. Come on, we’re hungry.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>By that time Pee-wee was about half-way across the bridge. “It’s a decoy -duck,” he panted out; “it’s—it’s—just made of wood——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What?” I shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What are you talking about?” Garry hollered at him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“This is no time for joking,” Hervey said. “Hurry up.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee just came along with a kind of a shamefaced look, and I could -see that the duck didn’t hang limp.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s made of wood, it’s a decoy duck,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>None of us spoke, we just looked at him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Here, take it and see for yourself,” he said to me.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Scout Harris, alias Raving Raven, alias Animal Cracker, you -have done one good turn. You have brought your starving comrades a -wooden duck just after they threw the fish into the creek. You have done -your worst.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What are you talking about?” he yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It is true,” I told him; “the plot grows thicker. This is a funny-bone -hike and nothing happens right. Sit down and starve with us. Here, give -me the wooden duck. If we should catch a pig on this hike it would turn -out to be pig iron. If we caught a cow it would turn out to be a -cowslip. Don’t blame me, blame Hervey Willetts, he started it.”</p> - -<div class='figcenter' style='width:80%'> -<img src='images/illus-100.jpg' alt='' id='i100' style='width:100%;height:auto;'/> -<p class='caption'>HERVEY WAS IN THE CREEK, SWIMMING FOR DEAR LIFE.</p> -</div> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XVIII'>CHAPTER XVIII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE MEET A FRIEND</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden, <span class='it'>splash</span>, Hervey was in the creek, swimming for dear -life. We all stood on the shore watching him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A marathon race with a fish,” Bert shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader,” I yelled at Hervey.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Leave it to me,” Hervey spluttered, “I’ll get him.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Down the creek we could see a stick bobbing. Pretty soon Hervey caught -up with it and grabbed it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hurrah!” we all shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I tell you what let’s do,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Animal Cracker,” I said, “a boy scout is supposed to be polite. He’s -not supposed to kill a brother scout. But if you make any suggestions or -promise us any more eats you’re going to die a horrible death.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Was I to blame because it was made of wood?” he shouted at me.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ve tasted tougher ducks than that,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let bygones be bygones,” Garry said. “Thank goodness we’ve got our fish -back. It was a narrow escape.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’d like to know——” the kid began.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You don’t need to know, it’s all right,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re so smart——” he started again.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re so smart,” I told him, “that we——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Will you let me speak?” he screamed.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No, what is it?” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“My shirt fell in the water and we haven’t got any matches,” he said. -“So what good is the fish? I’ve been trying to tell you that for five -minutes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I didn’t say anything, I just lay down on the ground. The rest of them -did the same. “Follow your leader,” Garry groaned.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“This is too much,” I said; “let me die in peace.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What’s the matter?” Hervey asked, climbing out of the water with the -precious fish.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh nothing,” I said, “except Pee-wee’s shirt fell in the water over at -the other end of the bridge and we haven’t got any matches. Don’t worry, -they’ll find our bodies here; lie down, it’s all over. Pee-wee wins.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So there we all lay sprawled on the ground, the kid sitting up watching -us.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We did our best to eat and live,” I said, “but the West Shore Railroad -and turntables and sign posts and drawbridges and wooden ducks were too -much for us. Come on, I’m going to die, follow your leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There’s a way to kindle a fire without a match,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Yes, and it sounds nice in the handbook too. But did you ever try it?” -I asked him. “Don’t talk to me. Tell my patrol that my last thoughts -were of them. Tell Westy Martin he can have my dessert at dinner; tell -him to think of me while he’s eating.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden somebody shouted, “A sail! A sail! A sail on the -horizon!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Same old horizon,” I said. “What kind of a sale is it now?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden up jumped Pee-wee. “Good turns are like chickens,” he -said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t talk about chickens,” I told him; “have a heart.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“They come home to roast,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“When we haven’t any matches?” I said. “That’s very kind of them. Can’t -you let me die in peace?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s the Italian with the donkey,” he said; “the donkey we pulled off -the railroad track with the gas engine, and he’s smoking a pipe——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Who? The donkey?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The man,” Pee-wee said; “so he must have matches. Hurrah!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all sat up at once and stared up the road. And, oh boy, as sure as -you live, there was that old scissors-grinding wagon coming toward us, -and the donkey should have been arrested for speeding, because he was -going about two inches a year. Up on the seat sat our Italian friend, -smoking a pipe.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hey, Tony!” I shouted. “Have you got any matches or sandwiches, or -sawdust or spaghetti or old scissors or pieces of leather or rye bread -or peanuts or steel nuts or pie or anything else we can eat? We’re -starving.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hey, boss, how you do?” he shouted. He was smiling all over.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XIX'>CHAPTER XIX<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE EAT</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>That man had a lot of lunch, pickles and bologna and a pail of spaghetti -and bread and everything, and there was only one thing that we didn’t -like about it, and that was that he had already eaten it about an hour -before. So it didn’t do us much good. It only made us hungrier when he -told us about it. He said, “Badda luck, hey, Boss? Spagett, ah, what -d’you call it, <span class='it'>nice</span>. You lika, huh?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “We don’t like spaghetti that’s already passed into -history.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We don’t like history, anyway,” I said. “But have you got any matches?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, “Hey, sure, boss, plenty de match.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So he gave us some matches and about half a loaf of shiny looking bread -that he had left from his own lunch and then he went along across the -bridge. We asked him how business was and he said, “No biz.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>After that we got our fire started and we cooked our fish on the tin -that Pee-wee had found and, yum yum, but that lunch tasted good. Maybe -if you were ever a starving mariner shipwrecked on a desert island, -you’ll know how that lunch tasted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We were good and tired so we sprawled around in the woods near the creek -and jollied each other, especially Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “The next time anybody mentions a funny-bone hike to me——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What do you know about funny-bone hikes?” Hervey shot back. “You’ve -only seen the beginning of one. What we’ve been doing up to now is just -a demonstration.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Good night, have a heart,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey just lay there on his back with one leg up in the air, catching -that crazy hat of his on his foot and trying to kick it back on his -face—honest, that fellow’s a scream. All the while he was singing:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>The land is very funny,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>  And the water’s very wet,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>We’ve been everywhere,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But up in the air;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>  And we haven’t done anything yet.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Sure, maybe if we’re patient we’ll have some mishaps. While -there’s life there’s hope.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Trust to Hervey,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee said, “I could do without the mishaps if I had some more food.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“When you’re hungry you’re supposed to eat a little at a time,” I -told him. “Don’t you know when a man is starving they give him one -spoonful of milk to begin with? You have to get used to eating.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m used to it already,” our young hero shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “You’d better look out; did you ever hear about the fish——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There isn’t any more fish,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He was in a globe,” Warde said, “and the man that owned him took a -spoonful of water out of the globe each day until that fish gradually -learned to live on dry land.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What are you talking about?” Pee-wee screamed.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I knew that fish personally,” Warde said; “and one day the man took him -out for a walk and the fish fell into a pond and was drowned.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s nothing,” Hervey said. “I knew a snake -that lived in the tropics where it was very hot and he came to New York -on a visit, and he fell into a furnace and froze to death.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you expect me to believe that?” Pee-wee yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” Hervey said, “if I believe it you’ve got to believe it, because -I’m your leader. From this time on we’re going to play the game right, -if I’m going to be leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We have more fun doing things wrong,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” he said, all the while kicking his hat; “the things may be wrong -but we’re supposed to do them right.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now I know you’re crazy,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are you all willing to play the game right?” Hervey wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Anything you say,” I told him; “we’re prepared for the worst.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You needn’t think I’m going without supper and breakfast,” the kid -said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey just lay there on his back putting his hat onto his foot and -trying to kick it onto his head.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are we supposed to do that?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “This is intermission, this is lunch hour. But when I jump up -and say, ‘Scrhlmxmi’——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What?” Pee-wee yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s a Greek word, it means ‘we should worry,’” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “I’ll tell you how it is if you want to play the game -right. You’re supposed to follow your leader in <span class='it'>everything</span>. If he -laughs, you must laugh; if he keeps still, you must keep still; if he -has a headache, you must have a headache.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you think I’m going to have a headache just to please you?” Pee-wee -shouted in his face. “How about toothaches, and—and—appendicitis—and——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Yes, and where will we be at supper-time?” the kid wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There’s another verse that goes with that game,” Hervey said. Then he -began singing all the while trying to balance a stick on his nose while -he was lying on the ground. Gee whiz, I had to laugh, he looked so -funny. This was the song:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>On a funny-bone hike you don’t get in a rut,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>The best kind of leader is one that’s a nut;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Just keep your feet moving and keep your mouth shut,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And the shortest way home is to take a long cut.</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>  And go north,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>    And go south;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>      And go east,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>        And go west;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>The wrong way to get there is always the best.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XX'>CHAPTER XX<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE MAKE A PROMISE</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>After we were all rested, all of a sudden Hervey jumped up and started -off, the rest of us after him singing <span class='it'>Follow your leader wherever he -goes</span>. For a while he kept singing and we all kept singing. Sometimes -he would go zigzag on the road and we all did the same. For a little way -he held one of his legs in his hand and hopped till he fell on the -ground and the rest of us fell all over him. He did all kinds of crazy -things and whatever he said we said it after him. Pretty soon he turned -off the turnpike into another road.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The wrong way to get there is always the best,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The wrong way to get there is always the best,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of us said the same sentence. Gee whiz, it sounded crazy.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon we met a farmer and Hervey he said, “Hey, mister, can you -tell us the wrong way to the scout camp?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Hey, mister, can you tell us the wrong way to the scout camp?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Bert said, “Hey, mister, can you tell us the wrong way to the scout -camp?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The others said the same and the man looked at us as if he thought we -were lunatics.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re going the wrong way now,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Thanks very much,” Hervey said, and off he started again.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe he’s mistaken, maybe it’s the right way and we’re going all -wrong,” I said. “Suppose he misdirected us and we get somewhere?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Bert said, “Trust to Hervey, we won’t get anywhere. He knows where he’s -not going.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, he has a fine sense of misdirection,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll end in Maine,” Pee-wee said, “that’s where all the maniacs -belong. The nearer we get to Temple Camp the farther off it is.”</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>“We’ve been everywhere,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But up in the air;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And we haven’t done anything yet.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='noindent'>Warde began singing.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden Hervey turned around and looked very severe and held his -finger to his mouth.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Silence,” I said; “Play the game. Can’t you keep still? If you can’t -keep still, keep quiet.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then we followed him not saying a word. It was fine to hear Pee-wee -not talking.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon we came to a place that I knew. They call it New Corners. It -isn’t exactly new, it’s kind of slightly used. It’s a village. There’s a -sign that says New Corners; that’s so you’ll know it’s there. It’s about -as big as New York only smaller.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey turned around and said, “Let’s buy some gumdrops. Intermission; -you can all talk.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We had about fourteen cents altogether and we bought some gumdrops in -the post office and divided them. There was a big pole outside the -barber shop that locked like a peppermint stick and we wished that we -could eat that. When we started off again, Hervey held his hat out on -the end of a stick (he always carries a stick that fellow does) and -threw a gumdrop into his hat.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I threw a gumdrop into my hat the same way, and he said, “No, you don’t, -you’re supposed to follow your leader. Each one throw a gumdrop into my -hat.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Oh boy, you should have seen our young Animal Cracker go up in the air. -He yelled, “What do you think I am?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Play the game!” Hervey shouted. “You’re charged with insubordination.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I don’t care what kind of a nation I’m charged with,” Pee-wee shouted. -“If you throw it into your hat that means I have to throw it into my -hat. Do you think I’m throwing away gumdrops? I’ll follow my leader, but——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Just then Hervey threw a gumdrop into Pee-wee’s hat.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe you’re right after all,” the kid said; “you know the rules about the game——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now listen,” Hervey said. “Who’s got a watch that’s right?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ve got a watch that’s right,” I said, “and it’s the only thing here -that is right.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s because it goes around and around just like we do,” Hervey said; -“it never gets anywhere but it keeps going. You can depend on a compass -because it always points one way, but a watch keeps changing, you can’t -depend on it. One minute it says one thing and another minute it says -another thing. That’s what I don’t like about a watch.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A watch would have to go some to keep up with you,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You couldn’t carry a watch,” Pee-wee said, “because it would fall out -of your pocket. You’re upside down half the time.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re more like a speedometer,” I said. “What do you want my watch -for?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Can’t you guess?” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What do you want his watch for?” Pee-wee shouted, his mouth all the -while full of gumdrops.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“To find out what time it is,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s just exactly four o’clock,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“All hold up your hands,” he said. “Have the watch hold up its hands -too. We’re going to play this game right.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “Not one of us is going to speak another word till we see -Temple Camp. When we see it I will be the first one to speak.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll be the next,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “The first one to speak before I do agrees to stand in -front of the bulletin board at camp to-morrow with a sign on him saying -I AM A QUITTER AND A FLUNKER, and if I speak before I see Temple Camp -I’ll do the same. How about it? Do you agree?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Posilutely,” I said. “Silence is my favorite outdoor sport.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Put me down,” Warde said; “I’m playing the game.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll be just as if I were asleep,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I talk in my sleep,” Pee-wee piped up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Not one word till we see Temple Camp,” Hervey said; “how about it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll die for the cause,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “All right then; <span class='it'>ready</span>——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Wait a minute,” Pee-wee said. “Wait till I think if there’s anything I -want to say before I shut up.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Say it and forever after hold your peace,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What’s your last word?” Garry asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“My last word is that I’m hungry,” the kid shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“All right, shut up, everybody,” Hervey said, “and</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>“Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>After that you couldn’t hear a sound.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXI'>CHAPTER XXI<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE KEEP STILL</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Now in this chapter not a single word is spoken. I bet you’ll say, -“Thank goodness for that.” My sister said this will be the best chapter -of the whole book because all of us keep still. I should worry about -her. One thing, I’m glad on account of not having to use any quotation -marks—I hate those things.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>But anyway just because our tongues weren’t going that doesn’t mean our -feet weren’t going. And I’ll tell you this much, something terrible is -going to happen. Believe me, there are worse things than talking. Maybe -it’s all right to keep still, but it got us in a lot of trouble and I’m -never going to keep still again as long as I live. Pee-wee says he isn’t -either. Hervey says it’s actions that count, but words are all right—I -like words.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Now I don’t know whether Hervey knew where he was going or not. That -fellow knows all the country for miles around Temple Camp. He made -believe he was lost. He says no matter where you are you can’t really -get lost because you’re some place and if you just keep going you’ll -come to some place else and he says anyway one place is as good as -another. So even if you’re home maybe you’re lost.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Anyway he kept going along that country road that branched off from the -turnpike. It was uphill and pretty soon we came to Old Corners only -there wasn’t anything left of it except an old church. I guess the rest -of the village must have rolled down the hill and started up in another -place.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, I like it up there on the hill but you never can tell what a -village will do when it gets started. I was just going to say that maybe -it was on a funny-bone hike only I happened to remember about keeping -still. It was nice and quiet up on that hill—no wonder.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Up there were three or four old houses with nobody living in them and -they were falling to pieces. The church was ramshackle, I guess it was -good and old. There was grass growing between the wooden steps and there -was moss all around on the stone step. All the windows were broken and -there was a great big spider-web across one window. There were old -shingles on the ground too, that had blown off the roof. There were -initials cut in the railing of the steps. There was an old ladder -standing up against the steeple.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“L-l-l——” Pee-wee started to say, and just caught himself in time.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey walked straight for the ladder and up he went, with the rest of -us after him. The steeple wasn’t so high but it was pretty high. The -ladder stood against a little window maybe halfway up. Hervey crawled in -through the window and so did the rest of us. He kept looking back -holding his finger to his mouth; he looked awful funny.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>In there was a kind of a little gallery around the edge and you could -look down in through the middle. It smelled like dried wood in there; it -smelled kind of like an attic. It was terribly hot. I saw something -hanging that I thought was an old dried rag and when I grabbed it, -<span class='it'>swhh</span>, just like that it gave me a start, and I let go pretty quick -because it was a bat. We threw it out through the opening. There were a -couple more there but we didn’t bother them. They looked just like rags -that had been hung up wet and got dry hanging there—stiff like.</p> - -<div class='figcenter' style='width:80%'> -<img src='images/illus-119.jpg' alt='' id='i119' style='width:100%;height:auto;'/> -<p class='caption'>“I LET GO PRETTY QUICK BECAUSE IT WAS A BAT.”</p> -</div> - -<p class='pindent'>None of us said anything but just did what Hervey did as near as we -could in a little, cramped place like that. We didn’t lean on that old -wooden railing around the gallery—safety first. Down through that open -space hung a rope; it went almost to the bottom. There was a floor down -there; I guessed it was the vestibule of the old church.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Up above us it was quite light because there were openings on the four -sides. There were a lot of beams braced all crisscross like, every which -way and there was a big bell hanging from them. The rope hung down from -above that bell.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We could look right up into the inside of the bell, and there was a big -spider-web across it and a great big yellow spider there. The rope up -there was frayed where it touched the edge of the bell when the bell -swung. Hervey tried to reach out to the rope but the railing creaked and -I pulled him back. If we could have talked it wouldn’t have been so bad, -but it seemed kind of spooky with no one saying anything.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>There was a little ladder fastened tight against the side going up to -that place above. I guess nobody ever went up there except maybe to fix -the bell. Hervey started up. It was hard because the ladder was tight -against the wall and we didn’t have much foothold. But I wouldn’t admit -he could do anything that I couldn’t do and I guess the other fellows -felt the same about it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>There wasn’t any place to sit or stand up there except the beams. It was -kind of like being in a tree. We perched in them the best we could. The -wood was awful dry and every time we touched it with our hands we got -splinters. But one thing, we could see out all over the country; we -could see hills and woods and trees and fields with stone walls that -looked just like lines. It was pretty hard to keep from speaking. Away, -way off I saw a kind of blue strip and I knew it was the Hudson River. I -was just starting to say “Some bird’s-eye view,” but I caught myself in -time.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey was looking down out of one of the openings and he caught my arm -and pointed. I looked down on the road. It was a crooked, rocky road, -but it looked all even and nice from up there. You could see it away, -way off just like a fresh place made with a plane, sort of.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Going along the road was an old hay wagon with oxen and a man with a -great big straw hat driving them. On the wagon, sticking away out at -both ends, was a ladder. I looked straight down below and the ladder was -gone from against the steeple.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I was just starting to shout after the man when Hervey clapped his hand -to my mouth and with his other hand he wrote the word QUITTER on the -wooden sill and put a question-mark after it. By that time we were all -crowding at the opening but none of us said a word. Hervey just pointed -to what he had written and looked at us. None of us called after the -man. There wasn’t any sound at all except the beams creaking when we -moved.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>It was good and spooky up there, I know that.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXII'>CHAPTER XXII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE HEAR A VOICE</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey just held up his finger to remind us, but anyway the man had gone -too far to hear us.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden Pee-wee set up a shout, “I see Temple Camp! I see Temple -Camp!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Where?” I asked him, all excited.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I can see the pavilion!” he shouted. “I can see the lake! Hey, mister, -come back with the ladder!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I guess you’re right,” Hervey said; “that’s the camp, all right.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I discovered it! I discovered it!” Pee-wee yelled. “Hey, mister, come -back with that ladder! I can see Temple Camp! Come back!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>But it wasn’t any use; the man was too far away and the breeze was the -other way, and there we were and we couldn’t do anything.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Why didn’t you shout sooner?” Pee-wee wanted to know, all excited.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You were the one to discover the camp,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Why didn’t you shout as soon as you saw the man?” he shot back.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Because I made a solemn vow,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Now we’re up against it,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re <span class='it'>up</span>, all right,” said Warde. “Nobody can deny that.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“How are we going to get down?” Pee-wee wanted to know. “That’s what you -get for making solemn vows. Solemny vows are all right but they don’t -get you any supper. I can see the smoke going up from the cooking shack. -Do you see it? Away, way off there?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I could see it all right, and oh boy, it looked good. I could see just a -little dab of blue, all sparkling, and I knew it was Black Lake. I could -see a speck of brown and I knew it was the pavilion. It looked as if it -might be about ten miles off. All around, no matter which way we looked, -were woods and mountains.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Some panorama,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You can’t eat panoramas,” the kid shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure you can,” I told him. “Didn’t you ever eat an orama? They fry them -in pans; that’s why they call them panoramas; they’re fine.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Yes, and we’ll be marooned here all night too,” he piped up. “There -isn’t anybody for miles around. A lot of good the view is going to do -us. This is the loneliest place I ever saw, I bet it’s haunted. I bet -that’s why everybody moved away.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Bert said, “I don’t believe any ghosts would stay -here, it’s too lonely. Besides, where would they buy their groceries?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Ghosts don’t eat,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I hope you’ll never be a ghost then,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re lucky,” Hervey said. “You ought to thank me for bringing you up -here. We can see just where Temple Camp is. We don’t have to depend on -sign posts that change their minds and turntables that send us back to -where we came from or anything. We can see Temple Camp with our own -eyes. Now we know which way to go.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Only we can’t go there,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “That doesn’t make any difference.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure it doesn’t,” I said. “As long as we know where camp is we’re not -lost any more. We know where we’re at. And when we get to a place where -we know where we’re at it’s a good place to stay. Deny it if you dare. -I’d rather be up here and see the camp and not be able to get there than -to be able to get there if we knew where it was but not to know where it -was.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you call that logic?” Pee-wee yelled. “It makes it all the worse to -see it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Well, look the other way then,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There’s only one place we haven’t been to so far and that’s under the -ocean,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t get discouraged, leave it to Hervey, he’ll take us there,” I -said. “There’s a nice breeze up here. Watch out for an airplane, maybe -we’ll be rescued.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Were you ever in a well?” Hervey asked us.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No, is it much fun?” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “It’s too slow, quicksand is better, it’s quicker. I’d like to -have a ride on a shooting star.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Comets are pretty good,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I was never on one of those,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee said, “The night is coming on. What are we going to do? I’m all -stiff from hanging onto this beam.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s get down on the platform again,” Hervey said. “Follow your -leader.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He scrambled over to the ladder and went down and we all followed him to -the gallery below. Looking out of the little window there we could see -the sun going down; it was all big and red and it made the woods all red -too away over to the west. That was where Temple Camp was. It began to -seem kind of spooky in that steeple on account of the sun going down and -everything being so quiet. The old, ramshackle houses below us, with -their roofs falling in and their windows all broken made it seem even -more lonesome where we were. Gee whiz, the woods aren’t lonesome, but -places where people used to be are lonesome.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden Garry said, “Listen—shh.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s just those timbers creaking above us,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “It sounded like a voice.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Well if it’s a voice up there where the bell is,” Warde said, “it -hasn’t got any body to it. I can see all around up there; I can see -inside the bell.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee just stared at us, “What did I tell you?” he -whispered. “Voices without bodies, those are the worst kind. I’m not -going to stay up here after dark, I’m——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Shh—listen,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You mean away off there in the woods?” I said. “I hear that.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No, not that,” he said; “right above us. Listen. Hear it?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Kind of like murmuring?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Right up there by the bell,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all stood stark still, listening. Maybe that bell was thirty or forty -feet above us. Just as plain as could be I could hear a sort of murmuring -up there. I can’t tell you what it was like, but anyway it wasn’t the -timbers creaking or anything like that. It was like a voice. But nobody -was up there. It was kind of like <span class='it'>H-l-l-l</span>.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, it gave me the shudders to listen to it.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXIII'>CHAPTER XXIII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE GO TO THE RESCUE</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Oh boy, I have to admit I was scared. Even Hervey didn’t start joking -about it, but just listened. Away, way off somewhere I could hear -something like a voice, but it wasn’t that that we heard above us.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden Hervey said, “I’m not going to hang around here any -longer, you can bet. I don’t like this place. I don’t want to spend the -night here. Come on, follow your leader, take a chance.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Before I had a chance to grab him he had reached out across the railing -into the open space and got hold of the bell rope. It was beyond his -reach so he had to sort of jump for it. I guess it was his jumping and -his weight both that made the rope go down, but anyway it went down -enough to rock the bell sideways.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>It was the creaking that made me look up, and then I saw the bell -standing that way. It didn’t ring because there wasn’t any tongue in it -but just as plain as could be, I could hear a voice in that bell say, -“<span class='it'>Help.</span>” It just sent a kind of a shudder through me to hear it. Then -the bell swung down again because Hervey’s weight on the rope wasn’t -enough to hold it up that way. In a few seconds I could hear Hervey -dropping from the end of the rope to the ground down below, and calling, -“Follow your leader wherever he goes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>But just the same none of us moved.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Coming down?” he called. But we didn’t answer him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What is it?” Bert asked in a whisper.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You heard it,” I said. “You know as much about it as I do. There’s a -spook here.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The place is haunted,” Pee-wee whispered, all excited.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s go down,” Garry said. “I’d rather take a chance on that rope than -to stay up here. Listen.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all listened but the voice above us didn’t call again.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s a spirit in the bell, that’s what it is,” the kid said. “It’s a -voice without any body to it—in the bell.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>None of us wanted to stay up there, I guess, but just the same none of -us wanted to move. It just seemed as if we <span class='it'>couldn’t</span> move.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon Warde said, “Wait a minute, let me get hold of that rope.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He climbed over the old wooden railing and held on with one hand while -he reached out with the other one. Then, all of a sudden, he was -swinging on the rope and as sure as I live, just in that minute the -voice above called, “Help.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We just stood there, all trembling. Pee-wee’s eyes were starting out of -his head.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden I heard Warde call, “Wait till I get down and then come -down after me. Don’t be scared. There isn’t anything in the bell, it’s -some one in the woods. The bell throws the voice down when it’s pulled -up sideways. It’s a reflex echo, if you know what that is. Come ahead -down one at a time. You should worry about spooks.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We didn’t hear the voice every time one of us swung off on the rope. -Maybe the voice away off didn’t call just at the right time or maybe not -all of us were heavy enough. But once or twice we heard it again. It -sounded good and clear. Bert came down. He was the last one and he was -the heaviest.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Now that’s just the way it was—the way I told you. That’s the nearest I -ever came to a ghost in my life. When the bell swung up sideways it -swung toward the west. Warde explained just how it was. So if you don’t -believe me you can ask him. There was a voice somewhere that we could -hardly hear. But when the bell swung up it caught the voice <span class='it'>inside -it</span> and when it swung down it threw the voice down; it kind of brought -the voice down and dropped it out. And because the bell was hollow and -made of metal it made the voice louder and stronger.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>That’s the only way I can tell you, but it’s true and echoes like that -are called reflex echoes, only I guess nobody heard of a reflex echo -exactly like that before. In echoes like that you hear the echo when you -can’t really hear the voice. When that bell was hanging the sound waves -(that’s what you call them) struck the outside slanting part of the bell -and were reflected <span class='it'>up</span>. But when the bell swung it caught the sound -inside it and just sort of tumbled it out on us.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So if you ever go to Old Corners you’ll see a sign on that old church -that we put there and it says ECHO CHIMES. Then it tells you just -exactly where to go in the woods in order to make an echo like the one -that scared us so. Maybe you wonder how we found out just where to go in -the woods. So that’s what I’m going to tell you in the next chapter. -Because it was a real voice away off somewhere in the woods that was -calling for help. The funny part of it was that we heard the reflex echo -but we didn’t hear the voice. I bet you’ll say I’m smart when you read -all this but, gee whiz, I guess you’d call it reflex smartness because I -got it all from Warde Hollister.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXIV'>CHAPTER XXIV<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE DROP DEAD-ALMOST</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>We crossed the road and hit into the woods going straight west. We knew -which way to go because it was when the bell swung up that we got the -echo, and because it swung toward the setting sun.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Every little while one of us had to climb a tree to see where the sun -was. Lucky for us Temple Camp was in that direction, and beside the sun -we had the smoke from the cooking shack to guide us. We took turns -climbing the trees.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We didn’t play Follow Your Leader because our minds were on rescuing -that person who was calling for help.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m glad Temple Camp is in the same direction,” Warde said, “because -I’m good and hungry.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m going to eat dinner and supper all in one when we get back,” -Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I could eat hardtack or upholstery tacks or carpet tacks or gilt-headed -tacks, I’m so hungry,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’d like to have—one—big—chunk—of chocolate cake,” said Garry.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’d eat a cake of soap,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee kept trudging along, not saying much; he was thinking about -supper, I suppose. He was in a better humor because he knew for sure we -were headed for camp. Hervey kept going ahead of us and shinning up -trees till he could see the smoke at camp. Every little while we all -shouted together but no voice answered.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The breeze is the other way,” Warde said; “maybe he can hear us even -though we can’t hear him. Whoever it is he’s probably lost and rattled. -Let’s shout to him to stay where he is. We don’t want both parties -moving around, it only doubles the work.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So we stopped and all crowded together so as to make our voices as much -like one voice as we could and shouted “Stay—where—you—are— -we’re—coming.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We listened for a few seconds and then we could hear a voice, very thin -and far off. It sounded like R-i-i-i. We guessed it meant “All right.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We cut through the woods faster after that and pretty soon we called and -the voice answered, and so we didn’t have to bother any more climbing -trees. We were pretty tired and hungry but I guess we all felt good.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“They’ll never believe all the adventures we had,” Pee-wee panted, -“because we can’t prove them. The best way is always to bring back some -proof, hey?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Did you expect us to bring back the turntable and the sign post and the -drawbridge and a couple of West Shore trains?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“In my patrol you have to prove all tests,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s easy,” I told him, “because no one in that patrol ever passes -any tests. All they know how to pass is the eats. Some of them don’t -even know enough to pass the time of day.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You think you’re so smart,” he said. “Which is better? Some crullers or -a scout?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Is it a riddle?” I asked him. “Why is a raving raven like a cruller? -Because he’s twisted. Ask me another. What’s that got to do with taking -tests?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“When you took Test Four for a second-class scout,” he said, “you -tracked half a mile and took a scout with you. I went alone. I tracked -half a mile to Johnson’s Bakery and bought ten cents’ worth of crullers -for proof. A witness might lie but crullers don’t lie.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“How many witnesses did you have in the paper bag when you got back?” -Garry wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Every test I ever took I brought back the proof,” the kid said. “I -don’t bother with witnesses, I don’t.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Sure, when he had to tell the points of the compass he went and -brought home the North Pole and the South Pole and the East Pole and -the West Pole to prove it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Silent witnesses are best, that’s what our patrol leader says,” the kid -shouted. “That’s the way we have to do in our patrol.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Listen to who’s talking about silence,” I said. “Don’t make me laugh. -We should have brought the reflex echo home with us to prove we were up -in that steeple.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe we’ll take the original voice home with us, that’s better, hey?” -Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>That reminded us to call again, and that time the voice answered good -and plain.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sit down and take it easy, we’re coming,” Garry shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon we could see a brown hat in among the trees.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s a scout,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He must be a tenderfoot to be lost five or six miles from camp,” Hervey -said. “All he had to do was to climb a tree.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I know who he is!” Pee-wee started shouting; “it’s Willie Cook. He’s -the new member of my patrol. He comes from East Bridgeboro.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You ought to tie a cow-bell around his neck the next time you let him -roam around in the woods,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Sure. Why don’t you make him play in the backyard? Safety -first. He’s a raving Raven, all right; he’s lost and he can <span class='it'>prove -</span>it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He isn’t trusting to witnesses,” Bert said; “he’s lost and he knows -it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “That’s one thing I like about the raving -Ravens; they’re always sure of themselves. When one of them gets lost he -knows it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You make me tired!” Pee-wee yelled. “He’s a tenderfoot. He’s going to -be the best scout in my patrol——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s easy,” I said. “Maybe he isn’t the best scout in camp, I’m not -saying, but he’s the best scout that’s lost in the woods. A scout is -thorough. He’s some scout all right; when he gets lost he gets good and -lost.” Then I shouted, “What’s the matter, Kid? Lost, strayed or -stolen?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The poor kid just stared at us and smiled as if he thought we had saved -his life.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m—I’m mixed up,” he said; “I started and I came back to the same -place and I don’t know where I am. Are you—did you come from camp?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “No, we’re on our way there. Calm down, you’re all right. The -camp is about six miles west. What are you doing here, anyway?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m—I’m doing a—a test,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey Willetts just rolled on the ground and screamed. All the rest of -us started to laugh except Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“These fellows are crazy,” the kid said; “don’t you mind them.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ve—I’ve got to cook some food,” the little fellow said, all kind of -confused.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What? Where?” I shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Lead us to it!” Bert yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What do you mean—<span class='it'>food</span>?” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I—I come first!” Pee-wee shouted, all excited. “He’s in my patrol! -Where’s the food?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ve got to cook it and take it home for a proof,” the kid said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Just then we all fell on the ground. I guess he thought we were dead.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXV'>CHAPTER XXV<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE PROVE IT</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>When I recovered from winning the laughing badge I said, “What’s the -idea, Kiddo? Did you think you could win the forestry badge by being -lost in the forest?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t listen to him, he’s crazy,” Pee-wee shouted at Willie Cook.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “The next thing you’ll be trying to win the electricity badge by -being struck by lightning.” Our young tenderfoot hero, Scout Cook, said, -“If I can do Tests Five and Eight I’ll be a second-class scout. It’s all -right if you give them good measure, isn’t it?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Sure, but I wouldn’t give them a whole world tour for a two -mile hike in these days of the high cost of hiking. Test Five says you -must hike a mile and back. You must have hiked about a dozen miles. What -are you going to do now?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are you sure I’m a mile away from camp?” he asked me.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Positively guaranteed,” I told him. “You’ll find out before you get -back.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m going to do two tests at once,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Boy, but you’re reckless,” Garry said. “What’s the other test?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “It’s Test Eight. I’ve got to cook this meat and these -potatoes. See? And I’m going to put my initials on a tree to prove I -hiked this far, and I’m going to take the food back to prove I cooked -it. Because you have to prove things, don’t you?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Ask Scout Harris,” I said; “he’s in your patrol. He knows all about -laws and food and everything.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, I knew those two tests well enough—Five and Eight. One says -a scout must go a mile—scout pace he’s supposed to go. The other says he -must cook a quarter of a pound of meat and two potatoes without any -cooking utensils. That kid had about a dozen potatoes and a couple of -pounds or so of meat, ready to cook.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Where did you get all this?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I bought them at a butcher’s in Berryville and if I cook them and take -them back will I be a second-class scout?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Positively guaranteed,” I told him. “The more you take back the more of -a scout you’ll be. Ask Scout Harris.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“They’re all crazy,” Pee-wee told him; “don’t pay any attention to them. -We’ll cook the things and eat them. You’re supposed to be generous, -you’re supposed to help a fellow scout. Anyway, all you need to take -back is a quarter of a pound of meat and two potatoes, but you don’t -even need to take that much because I’ll testify that you cooked them. -All these fellows will testify.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Yes, but you said they’re all crazy,” Willie Cook piped up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“A—eh—a crazy fellow can testify, can’t he?” Pee-wee shouted. “Anyway if -I testify it’s enough; everybody at Temple Camp knows me. Unwrap the -bundle and let’s cook the stuff; we haven’t had anything but one fish -and a bite of chocolate each since breakfast——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Two bites,” Garry said; “and don’t forget the roast duck.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Oh boy! Laugh? I just stood there shaking. There stood poor little -Willie Cook holding his greasy bundle behind him and backing away so -Pee-wee couldn’t grab it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are you going to be generous and help a fellow scout or not?” he was -shouting. “Don’t you know a scout is supposed to save life? You get—a—a -gold medal for that. We haven’t had anything to eat——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Except roast duck,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Will you keep still!” he yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Willie Cook just looked at me, kind of scared, and he said, “I’m going -to do what this fellow says because he’s a patrol leader. I heard a -scout at camp say so.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Bully for you, Kid,” I said; “you just follow me and you can’t go -right! Can he, Hervey?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Except by accident,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, and we don’t have that kind of accidents,” I told the kid. -“You’re right. Proof is more important than appetites. Isn’t it, Garry?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Will you stop your crazy nonsense and let’s cook the food?” Pee-wee -screamed. “You all make me tired! Here’s a lot of food—All he needs to -take back, anyway, is about one potato and a little piece of meat——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The little fellow looked at Pee-wee and then he looked at me as if he -didn’t know what to do.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “If he had only hiked one mile it would have been all right to -go back with one potato, but he’s been roaming all over the woods, miles -and miles, and so he needs to take back more proof; he needs all the -proof he has. He’s a good Raven. Come on, Kid, cook the things and put -your initials here and then we’ll all go back to camp and show them the -stuff. When the raving Ravens see those nice brown potatoes and that -meat cooked just as if you were the chef of the Waldorf Castoria they’ll -hand you the second-class badge. Won’t they, Scout Harris?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you think it’s smart getting him all mixed up?” Pee-wee just yelled. -“You think you’re funny with all your crazy nonsense. Don’t you know Law -Three says a scout must be prepared at all times to save life, and don’t -you know we’re nearly starving? Do you think I’m going to funny-bone -hike all around the Catskill Mountains just to please you and never eat -anything? I’m not going to go another step till I have something to eat, -I can tell you that!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The handbook——” I began saying.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you think I can eat the handbook?” he shrieked at me. “You and your -crazy talk! Come on, let’s get a fire started. I’ll see that he gets his -badge all right. You leave it to me.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Just the same as you got us a roast duck,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you deny that you’re hungry?” he yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I admit it,” I said, “but duty calls——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Just then the poor little tenderfoot handed me his precious bundle; I -guess he thought it would be in safer keeping. And in about two seconds -the whole six of us were scrambling for it. And in about a half a minute -we had a fire started.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Kiddo, proof is all right, but the proof of the pudding is in -the eating. Pee-wee is right and I’m wrong as he usually is. If the -testimony of five scouts and a half isn’t enough to prove what you did -all the meat in the Chicago stock markets wouldn’t do it. Don’t worry, -leave it to us; you’ll get the second-class badge all right. Testifying -on merit and class tests is our middle name. There’s only one thing we -do better than that, and that is eat. And we’re ready to give you the -PROOF, hey, Hervey?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s us,” Hervey said. “I just thought up a new way to get lost on -the way back. If we don’t look out we’ll bunk into Temple Camp.” That -poor little tenderfoot looked from one to the other of us as if he -thought we sure were crazy. I guess he was right. We should worry.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXVI'>CHAPTER XXVI<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE SEE A HOUSE</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>So then Willie Cook cooked his meat and potatoes and as long as he was a -tenderfoot and didn’t know much about scouting we showed him how scouts -eat. We let him keep one potato and about an ounce of meat to take back -to camp for evidence to show to the raving Ravens. After that we felt -pretty good so we sprawled around and rested a while.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Scout Cook said, “Are you going straight back to camp?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Not straight,” Hervey said, “but we’re on our way there. If it’s where -it was this morning, we’re going to go to it. I suppose it was there -when you left, wasn’t it?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s usually there,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t pay any attention to them,” Pee-wee said to his new member; -“they’ve been acting like that all day. They’ve been going around and -around and around like a chicken with its head off. Hervey Willetts and -Roy Blakeley are the worst of the lot.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, we’re each worse than the other if not more so,” I said. “The -question is, where do we go from here?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We go straight west to Temple Camp,” Pee-wee shouted; “we’re not going -to, what d’you call it, deviate.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Call it whatever you want, I don’t care,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“And we’re going to go pretty soon, too,” the kid said; -“we’re going to go while the column of smoke from the cooking shack is -still going up. We can’t see the sun any more; we haven’t got anything -to follow but the smoke.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Wrong the first time,” I said. “We’ve got Hervey Willetts to follow. -I’d rather follow him than the sun; the sun always goes to the same -place; he goes every which way. There’s no pep to the sun. Is there, -Scout Cook?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I guess the poor little kid thought we were a pack of lunatics. He -didn’t know what to say.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What time did you leave camp?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “About one o’clock; just after the bus came with a lot of new -scouts. There’s a big troop coming to-night and Uncle Jeb has got to -send them to Bear Mountain Camp because there aren’t any more tents or -cabins to put them in. I’d rather stay at Temple Camp, wouldn’t you?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The only place I like to stay at is nowhere,” Hervey said; “and I don’t -care to stay very long even there. Why didn’t the bunch in -Administration Shack let that troop know before they started, I wonder?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The troop sent a telegram,” Willie Cook said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What do you say we hike to Bear Mountain to-night?” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are there bears there?” Willie wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “No, they call it Bear Mountain because all the scouts go round -in their bare feet up there. Give me Temple Camp every time; there’s -only one thing I don’t like about it, and that is going home from it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“If you like it so much it’s a wonder you don’t go there,” Pee-wee -shouted. “You’ve been going there all day and none of us are there yet. -Pretty soon the smoke will die down and then what? You know yourself you -can’t trust signboards or anything up here. We know that column of smoke -is in the west because that’s where the sun went down and we know that -Temple Camp is the only place that sends up a big column of smoke like -that. Are you going to stop your nonsense and follow it or not?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We don’t need the smoke,” Warde said. “See that roof right in line with -the smoke? All we have to do is to follow the roof——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll climb over it,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let the smoke die down. What do we care?” Garry said. “The roof won’t -die down; that’s a sure beacon.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>All of a sudden Hervey jumped up. “Follow your leader,” he said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So off we started with little Willie Cook coming along behind and trying -to keep up with us while we sang:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXVII'>CHAPTER XXVII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE LOSE OUR BEARINGS</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>The kid shouted, “Are you going straight to camp or not? Are there going -to be any more detours?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Not exactly detours,” Hervey said; “just a few small scallops to vary -the monotony. We’re on our way home. We’re following the smoke and we’re -headed straight for the cooking shack; follow your leader. The way I -figure it out we ought to land on the stove.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We ought to land in the zink,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The zink would do just as well, follow your leader,” Hervey said. “I’m -aiming straight for the dishpan full of cookies. Have courage, follow -your leader wherever he goes, don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or -oppose——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, I can’t tell you of all the crazy things that fellow did, -singing all the while. He swung into trees and went round and round them -till we were all dizzy and didn’t know what we were singing. He kept -going in and out around two trees till he had us all staggering and -singing:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask where you’re opposed,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your nose wherever supposed;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>N’ snows n’ suppose wherever goes.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>“Wait a minute!” I shouted. “Where’s that roof? I don’t see it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s still there,” Hervey said. “Don’t start to whrrrever yr leader -suppose in the toes when it starts to suppose.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Be careful don’t stub and go flunking your nose,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“N’ flow—flow—yr—flunked—wrvr—goes,” poor little Willie Cook sang.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Have a heart,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you see the roof?” Garry asked.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I just sank down to the ground. “I see forty-eleven roofs and -eighty-nine col-ol-ol-ums of smoke—oke,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re get—tet—ing there,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all just sprawled on the ground for about ten minutes, dead to the -world.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, we’re nearly there,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>After a little while Scout Harris sat up and set up a howl.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What’s the matter now?” I asked him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The smoke! The smoke!” he shouted. “It isn’t in line with the roof any -more! Look!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I sat up and looked.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Temple Camp has moved away or something,” he yelled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “That’s very funny, the smoke must be blowing.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re crazy,” he said, all excited. “You can see the chimney even, and -the roof isn’t in line with it!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “All right, don’t call me crazy, call the smoke crazy. I didn’t -do it, did I?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Just the same that’s mighty funny,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” I said; “if it wasn’t funny it wouldn’t be here.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t get rattled,” Hervey said, “<span class='it'>we’re</span> here; we’re just where -we were. Don’t lose your morale.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I lost my potatoes,” Willie Cook piped up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Pee-wee’s eating one of them,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>There sat Scout Harris, with black all around his mouth, munching a -roasted potato and staring off to the west with eyes as big as saucers.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I have to admit it was funny. When we had first seen that roof it was -between us and the smoke from camp, maybe half-way. It seemed as if it -might be on the road at the western edge of the woods.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Across that road were more woods and in those farther woods was the -camp. Now the smoke was rising to the <span class='it'>left</span> of the roof. It might -have been partly on account of the smoke blowing and partly on account -of our being dizzy, that’s what I thought.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So I said, “We should worry. I’ve been to Temple Camp every summer for -several years and it’s always stayed in the same place. It’s not like we -are. All we’ve lost are our bearings and one potato. That roof is in a -bee-line with Temple Camp. When we get to the road where the house is I -know the way to camp all right without any smoke beacons. There’s a -trail through the farther woods. Let the smoke die. What do we care? The -boy scouts will live forever. Let’s take a good rest and sort of get -sobered up so we’re not seeing things and then let’s make a bee-line for -that house. If Hervey will lead us to that house I’ll lead the party to -camp from there.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Come on, follow your leader,” Hervey said. And with that he rolled over -and laid his head on his arm. All the rest of us did the same and pretty -soon we were fast asleep. No wonder.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXVIII'>CHAPTER XXVIII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE ARE DEAD TO THE WORLD</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Now in this chapter we are all asleep so nothing happens. If anything -happened I don’t know about it. Anyway I’m not to blame for what the -landscape does. I never had any use for geography, anyway; I never -trusted it. And I’ll never trust it again as long as it lives.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So that’s why this chapter is so short, because we’re all asleep.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXIX'>CHAPTER XXIX<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE WAKE UP</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Now there’s going to be something doing again because we woke up. While -we were asleep the smoke from the cooking shack died. I guess they were -all through cooking supper at camp. The sun had gone down too. The -part of the sky where it had gone down was all bright—red kind of. So we -knew that was the west.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The roof we had seen wasn’t in line with it, but you can’t exactly say a -thing is in line with a bright part of the sky. The column of smoke had -been right behind that little roof, maybe two miles from it, so we -decided to use that roof for a beacon. That would take us to the road -and from there I knew the trail through the other woods.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I have to admit we were all about ready to go home by then. We were all -pretty tired after that crazy day. If they would have to send a new -troop away on account of there not being accommodations, that would mean -the bus would go down to Catskill again and I wanted to get to camp in -time to send a letter home. I didn’t like to think about a troop being -sent away but it served them right for not writing beforehand. Every -tent and every cabin was crowded that summer.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said to Hervey, “If you want to be the leader all right, but from now -on we’re going straight for camp. I admit you’re too much for the rest -of us. You ought to live in a volcano or a cyclone or something like -that. I’m good and tired. See if you can make a bee-line to that little -roof and then we’ll know we’re going straight for camp.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“And when you get to camp stop there,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I hope he bunks into the pavilion, that’ll be the only thing to stop -him,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“This time, it’s positively guaranteed,” Hervey said; “I’m going -straight west till I bunk right into that house.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Keep your eye on the roof,” Bert said, “because that’s the only way we -can be <span class='it'>sure</span> we’re going right.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Ready, <span class='it'>go”</span> Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>That time we kept going straight ahead without any nonsense—right -straight for that roof.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’d like to have a picture of our travels to-day,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It would look like the trail of a snake with blind staggers,” I told -him. “After to-day I’m going to have some sense.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Not if you follow Hervey Willetts,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “I know a better game; it’s called the flip-flop sprint. -Did you ever try the razzle-dazzle roam? You have to keep going east -while you keep your west eye shut. The hole-in-the-ground hop is a good -one too. When shall we try it?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll try it day after yesterday,” I said; “think of the west and keep -your eye on that roof.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Absolutely, positively,” Hervey said; “we couldn’t go wrong now if we -tried.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t try,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Be sure that the right way is always the best,” I said. “I don’t care -what that song of yours says.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon we got to where the woods were not so thick and we could see -the road ahead. We couldn’t exactly see it because it was sort of in a -hollow but we could see the hollow, and by that time we could see the -rest of the house, or most of it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll cut right through the woods in back of it,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Thank goodness, we’ll be home in fifteen minutes.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow me and you can’t go wrong,” Hervey said. “I’m aiming straight -for my place at the mess-board.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t aim for mine,” Pee-wee shouted at him. Then Hervey began singing:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Some scouts prefer to hike around,</p> -<p class='line' style='text-align:left;margin-left:6em;font-size:0.9em;'>We don’t,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And cover miles and miles of ground,</p> -<p class='line' style='text-align:left;margin-left:6em;font-size:0.9em;'>we don’t.</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And roam and roam and roam and roam,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And roam some more and roam and roam;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And never <span class='it'>never</span> go back home,</p> -<p class='line' style='text-align:left;margin-left:6em;font-size:0.9em;'>we don’t.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>“Look!” Pee-wee yelled at the top of his voice. “The smoke! Look! It’s -way off there!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all looked and <span class='it'>g-o-o-d night</span>, there was the column of smoke away, -way to the north of us, and there, as sure as I’m sitting here writing, -was that little house right straight ahead of us, about fifty yards off.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The plot grows thicker!” I said, just leaning limp against a tree. -“We’ve been going farther and farther away from camp all the time. -Chocolate Drop must be burning up refuse. Where are we -at, anyway?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The world is upside down!” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s inside out,” Bert shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That house right in front of us was in direct line with camp,” Warde -said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The Catskill Mountains are crazy!” Pee-wee shouted. “Remember the way -they did with Rip Van Winkle? Everything is crazy! Where are we at? The -nearer we get the farther we go. This country is haunted.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Search me,” I said. “The sun must have set in the east, that’s the only -way <span class='it'>I</span> can explain it. That house there was <span class='it'>in a bee-line with the -camp when we started</span>. I’ll leave it to Hervey.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t leave it to him,” Pee-wee shouted; “you’ll only make it worse. Do -you think I want to land on the moon?”</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXX'>CHAPTER XXX<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE FIGURE IT OUT</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Let’s sit down and think it over and figure it out by geometry; -let’s not get excited. Three things were in a bee-line, the cooking -shack and the house and we ourselves. Deny it if you can. The smoke died -and we hiked straight for the house. Didn’t we? Now here we are almost -at the house and the smoke is there again, and it’s the same chimney and -it’s way out north of us and we’ve been hiking southwest. What’s the -answer?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s all because Hervey Willetts is leading us,” Pee-wee shouted. “If -that fellow started to go across the street he’d end at—at—at South -Africa—he would.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are we going to get lost again?” little Willie Cook piped up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Again?” I said. “Excuse me while I laugh. We’ve got the babes in the -woods beaten twenty-eleven ways. I wish we had a compass.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I wouldn’t believe one if you had it,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s hustle and follow the smoke while it’s still going up,” Warde -said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s dying down!” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let it die,” I said. “I’m going to find out what happened. If the earth -is off its axis we ought to know it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll have to hike to the North Pole,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh sure, start off,” I told him; “we’ll follow you.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I want to know how a bee-line got bent,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I never knew Temple Camp to do such a thing before as long as I’ve -known it,” I said. “I’m surprised at Temple Camp. I don’t understand it. -It’s trying to escape us.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll foil it yet,” Hervey said. “When it comes to hide-and-seek that’s -my middle name. I intend to go to Temple Camp now just for spite. We’ll -each go in a different direction and surround it and close in on it. -What do you say?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Suppose we start east again?” I said. “Maybe that’ll take us there -because Temple Camp is north. We’ll make a flank move.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee said, very dark and determined like, “I’m going to follow that -chimney. The rest of you can go where you want to.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“First let’s go to the house and get a drink of water,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then we went on till we came to the road, and <span class='it'>g-o-o-d night</span>, -there we stood on the edge of the embankment, staring.</p> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='it'>“Well</span>—<span class='it'>what</span>—<span class='it'>do</span>—<span class='it'>you</span>—<span class='it'>know</span>—<span class='it'>about</span>—<span class='it'>that</span>?” one -of the fellows just blurted out.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I knew it all the time,” I said; “that house is not to be trusted. I’ll -never trust another house as long as I live, I don’t care if it’s a -Sunday School even. I wouldn’t trust a public school.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The rest of them were laughing so hard they just couldn’t speak. There -in the road just below us was a great big wagon with a kind of a trestle -on it. And on that wagon was a little house. There were four horses -hitched to the wagon and a funny looking man was driving them. He wasn’t -driving them exactly because they were standing still. One of the wheels -of the wagon was ditched alongside the road. That house had been pulled -quite a long way south along the road while we were asleep. Take my -advice and never use a house for a beacon.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I called, “Hey, mister, where are you going with the house?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We all sat on the high bank and looked at it. The horses were straining -and trying to pull the wagon out. The house was so wide it filled up the -whole road.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s a portable garage,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Hey, mister, is that a portable garage?” The man called back, -“No, can’t you see it’s a load of hay?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No sooner said than stung,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Maybe you don’t know we’ve been following that house,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, “Well, if you follow it you’re not likely to get far.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “Oh we don’t care, we’d just as soon be here as anywhere. -It’s all the same to us.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’re glad you didn’t get any farther with it,” Warde said. “We’ve been -trying to go west by following the roof of that thing while it was going -south.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, “I’m sorry if I led you astray. I seem to have reached the -end of my journey.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re lucky,” I said. “We’ve been going around and -around like the mainspring of a watch all day.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, kind of laughing, “You seem to be wound up.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, we go for eight days,” Garry said. “What are you going to do with -the garage?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Well, I’m going to sell it for a chicken-coop if you must -know,” the man said. “Pretty soon you’ll know as much as I do, won’t -you?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Where did you come from?” Pee-wee shouted down.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I came from Ireland,” the man said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I mean to-day,” Pee-wee called back.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, “Oh, to-day I came from Gooseberry Centre.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I don’t blame you,” Hervey said; “I was there the other day. If I were -a garage I wouldn’t stay there; not if I were a portable one.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The land I had was sold over my head,” the man said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You mean under your feet,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man just looked up kind -of laughing and he said, “Well, since you seem to be so smart and clever -maybe you can think of a way to get me out of this hole.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure we can,” Hervey said. “Where do you want to go?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I called, “Just say where you want to go and he’ll take you somewhere -else.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Anyway,” Pee-wee shouted, “do you claim that chickens are as important -as boy scouts?” Gee whiz, I didn’t know what he was driving at.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXXI'>CHAPTER XXXI<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE MAKE A BARGAIN</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, “I should have kept out of that rut; now I’m in a nice -pickle.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t you care,” I said, “we’ve been getting into the wrong places all -day and we’re happy.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Pickles aren’t so bad,” Pee-wee shouted; “I -wouldn’t mind being in a whole barrel of pickles. We’ll help you out, -only if you’re not charging too much for that garage we’d like to buy it -if you’ll cart it to Temple Camp. We’ll give you more than the chickens -will give you. There’s a troop up at camp that haven’t got any -accommodations and they’ll be coming along in the jitney bus pretty -soon. Hey, mister, will you sell us the garage? We’ll give you fourteen -cents deposit on it right now.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” I said, “you can take a mortgage for the rest; good idea. -Pee-wee, you’re a brick.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s an inspiration,” Pee-wee said; “we’ll -wind our funny-bone hike up with a crazy good turn, hey? We’ll furnish -accommodations. Troops don’t have to go to houses because the houses -come to them. Everything is the other way round. While they’re on their -way back to Catskill Landing they’ll meet a house and we’ll put them in -it and send them back to camp.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Good idea,” Hervey shouted; “accommodations delivered while you wait; -take your house home with you. Let’s all climb up on the top of it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Wait a minute,” Warde said, “this man thinks we’re crazy. Do you mean -what you say? If you do I’ll talk to him.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We mean a good deal more than what we say,” I said; “that’s a good -suggestion of Pee-wee’s and I say let’s follow it. No troop shall leave -Temple Camp on account of a house. If they come along the road they -shall not pass. We’ll put them in the house and send them back. We defy -everything and everybody. What do we care about the housing shortage?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “Well then, keep still a minute and let me talk to the man.” -He has a lot of sense, Warde has, I’m glad I’m not him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “Hey, mister, we’re boy scouts and we belong at Temple Camp -that’s over there in the woods near Black Lake. This road goes around -through Hink’s Junction and around through Pine Hollow to the camp. We -were going to take the short cut through the woods but we followed this -house instead. So now we think we’d like to buy it and we’ll take it to -Temple Camp.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ll take turns carrying it,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Warde said, “Will you keep still so he’ll know we’re in earnest?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s a business proposition,” Pee-wee said; “shut up and let Warde -talk.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Then Warde said, just as if he really meant it, he said, “We’d like to -buy this portable garage if you’ll sell it to us and take it to Temple -Camp. We’ll get you out of the ditch all right when the jitney bus comes -along. How much do you want for it?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said he was carting it to Pine Hollow because a farmer there -said he would buy it. But he said if we really meant that we wanted it -he’d sell it for fifty dollars. He said we’d have to pay him ten dollars -more for hauling because Temple Camp was farther than Pine Hollow.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The house will have a good home as long as it lives,” Bert said. “There -are plenty of fresh milk and eggs and everything at Temple Camp.” The -man said he guessed there were plenty of fresh scouts there too, if the -rest of them were like us. He said he didn’t care much about the garage -anyway and he was only taking it away because the land where he lived -had been sold and nobody wanted it in Gooseberry Centre.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Maybe they don’t know there are such things as automobiles.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then we got serious and we told him that we’d like to have that -garage at camp because when we went on hikes we always brought back -souvenirs and anyway because there was a cabin shortage there. We told -him that we’d take up a collection when we got there and that if we -didn’t get enough money that way we’d give a grand show and charge -admission and that he could stay at camp till we gave him the money.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “Will I have to go to the show?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Not unless you want to,” I told him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then he began asking questions about Temple Camp and he said he liked -scouts because they were lively and he didn’t care who he sold the house -to only he was afraid on account of it blocking up the road. He said he -had more interest in scouts than in chickens because once a scout had -done him a good turn, but he never knew a chicken to do a kind act.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So we made the bargain with him and he kept laughing all the time, and -he said he’d like to go and see Temple Camp, only what was worrying him -most was that he was blocking up the road.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You leave that to us,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Don’t worry about that; the road is as much to blame as the -house is. If we can’t get the house out of the way we’ll get the road -out of the way, but anyway we’ll get the house to camp. All we have to -do is to wait for the jitney bus to come along and we know Darby Curren -and he’ll pull you out all right. We used a gas engine to move a donkey -to-day. I guess we ought to be able to move a house with one.”</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXXII'>CHAPTER XXXII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE BECOME BANDITS</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>That’s always the way it is with Pee-wee. All of a sudden he springs a -big idea. Mr. Ellsworth (he’s our scoutmaster) says Pee-wee’s good turns -are planned on a large scale. They’re masterpieces, that’s what Mr. -Ellsworth says. And this one I’m telling you about was especially good -because it was kind of crazy.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “That’s just what we want, a good climax for this -funny-bone hike. We’ll wind up in a blaze of glory.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The end of a perfect day,” Bert said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said he guessed we must have had a lot of fun.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We’ve got a lot left, too,” I told him; “we’ve got enough to last a -couple of weeks. We never knew when we started out how many dandy -misfortunes there are. I bet we had more fun starving than anybody else -ever did.” Then I said; “Hey, mister, what’s your name?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said his name was Goobenhoff but he wouldn’t tell us his front name -because we couldn’t pronounce it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Tell it to us without pronouncing it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He said, “When you go on a hike it’s good to have a destination.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “Sure it is, because then we know where not to go. We never -start out without taking a destination with us.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>After a little while the jitney bus came along from the other direction -and we all set up a shout. Darby Curren was driving it and scouts were -sticking their heads out of the windows. Gee whiz, maybe what we were -going to do was crazy, but when I saw the faces of those fellows I said, -“Crazy things are all right; as long as a thing is a good turn it -doesn’t matter.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee, I didn’t blame the Camp Committee because they couldn’t help the -camp being crowded, and troops are supposed to fix it up about their -cabins a long time ahead, but just the same it seemed funny as long as -scouts are all brothers that those fellows should have to go to another -camp, because <span class='it'>believe me</span>, there’s only one place and that is Temple -Camp. I guess you know yourselves what fun we have there.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said to the fellows, “This funny-bone hike is going to end in -something worth while or else the whole day is lost.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let it be lost,” Hervey said; “there’s a lot of fun being lost.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Pee-wee, this is your job, go to it.” The kid stepped right out -into the middle of the road, very brave and daring. All the while he was -pulling up his stocking; it was awful funny to see him. Mr. Goobenhoff -just laughed and laughed. I guess he was having a lot of fun too.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee held up his hand like a traffic cop and shouted, “Stop! In the -name of the funny-bone hikers of the Boy Scouts of America, <span class='it'>stop!</span> -Wait a second till I fix my garter.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Darby shouted, “Hello, Scout Harris; what’s the matter with your face?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s supposed to be invincible,” the kid shouted. “Stop where you are!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Your mouth is all black,” Darby said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I was eating a roasted potato,” Pee-wee said. “Who have you -got in that bus?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Is this a hold-up?” Darby wanted to know. “I haven’t got anything with -me but a cheese sandwich.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Give it to me,” the kid shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Give it to me,” Garry said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>By that time Mr. Goobenhoff was laughing so hard he just shook, and -Darby was laughing too. In a couple of seconds about seven or eight -scouts came pell-mell out of the bus to see what all the fuss was about. -There was a man with them, he was their scoutmaster, and he was smiling -and looking kind of surprised.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I guess it must have seemed funny when they saw that garage and saw us -standing there in the road. We were all kind of dirty and shabby after -our adventures and Hervey Willetts had on that funny hat he always wears -with holes cut in it and advertising buttons all over it. It was cocked -away over on the side of his head and he was balancing a stick on his -nose.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pee-wee shouted at him, “Take that stick down. Don’t you know how -bandits act? You’re supposed to look savage.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I gave one look at poor little Willie Cook trying to look savage, and -then I doubled up. Pee-wee had black all around his mouth and he was -swinging his belt-axe; he looked awful funny.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>He stood right in front of the bus and shouted, “Who are you and why? We -captured a portable garage! Do you think we can’t capture a jitney bus? -Nobody can pass this spot. We’re here to do a good turn whether you want -us to or not. We’re wild and savage, we live on fish and milk chocolate -and we were starving on a desert drawbridge. Hold up your hands and make -the scout salute. To-night you sleep at Temple Camp. Has anybody got a -piece of string? My garter’s busted.”</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXXIII'>CHAPTER XXXIII<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE WIN</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>That scoutmaster said, kind of smiling, “We think we’re scouts and we’re -glad to make you the salute. What can we do for you?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Where are you going?” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, “Why, if you must know, we’re going to catch a train for -Bear Mountain. They’re crowded up at the camp. We might have stayed till -morning, but the sooner we’re settled the better.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re settled already,” Pee-wee shouted; “I settled you! We’re the -funny-bone bandits and we own the Catskill Mountains. Do you see this -little house? It’s a garage. It’s going to Temple Camp and you’re going -back with it. You’re going to bunk in it. We’re going to pull it out of -this ditch and take it to Temple Camp. That’s the kind of good turns we -do up here!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The man said, “You’re very kind but——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t talk about catching trains,” I said. “We’ve been catching trains -to-day and see what it’s brought us to. Take my advice and don’t get on -a train. A portable garage is better. We used to be regular scouts like -you, with uniforms and clean faces and everything, before we got on a -railroad train. We belong at Temple Camp and we’re going back there and -so is this little shack and so are you.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The scoutmaster said, “You’re very kind but——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There isn’t any <span class='it'>but</span> about it,” I told him. “If you think we’re -going to have anybody interfering with our good turns you’re mistaken. -You didn’t know the woods were infested with wild scouts, did you? So -now get out of the way while Darby Curren pulls us out of the ditch, and -then do what we tell you. All you’ve seen so far are the tame scouts up -at camp; we’re the wild, outlaw scouts. This is Hervey Willetts, the -human squirrel—I’m the nut. We run Temple Camp, don’t worry, leave it to -us. The road to Temple Camp is a one way street and don’t you forget it! -So get out of the way, you’re blocking the traffic.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, I guess they didn’t know what to think. The scoutmaster just -looked around smiling, and all his little troop were staring and -laughing. I could see they wanted to go back.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The scoutmaster said, “I hardly know what to think about this.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t think about it,” Pee-wee said, “just do it.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do the way we do,” Hervey said; “don’t go to the place you started out -to go to; go the other way. Do the thing you didn’t expect to do, then -you’ll have more fun. That’s what a funny-bone hike is. Get mixed up -accidentally on purpose. Just keep going, any old way. One place is as -good as another, only Temple Camp is better than all of them. Come ahead -back, you just leave it to us. We’ll get the truck out of the ditch and -we’ll start a parade to Temple Camp and I’ll go first and tell them all -about it. We had a lot of fun to-day just on account of a song. So now -will you join a parade with us and follow your leader? Listen.</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>“Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes.”</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>Oh boy, you should have seen those fellows look at Hervey; they just -stood there laughing and staring and kind of clustering around him. -That’s always the way it is, fellows fall for him right away.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are there any more verses to that song?” one of them wanted to know.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” Hervey said, “we’ve been singing them all day, and we’d like to -go marching into camp with this outfit singing them, too. We want the -craziest part to come last.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s do it,” one of those fellows said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I want to go back,” said another.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The scoutmaster, he looked kind of as if he couldn’t make up his mind.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Then Warde said, kind of sober like, “There isn’t anything to prevent. -They haven’t got even a tent left at camp and that’s the only reason -they can’t have you stay. Do you think we don’t know what we’re talking -about when we say it would be all right? The camp people will say it was -a good turn, so why should you prevent us from doing it? We’d like to -end the day up with a good turn, because it’s been a kind of a funny day -and we’ve been away from camp ever since morning. It’ll make a kind of a -good ending if you’ll only help us out.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“The end of a crazy day,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The scoutmaster just said, “You don’t forget your good turns when you’re -crazy, do you?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Crazy good turns,” I said. “What’s the difference?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No difference,” the scoutmaster said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s all a part of the game,” Warde said; “good turns and all. We -jumble everything all up together.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s a good way,” the scoutmaster said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee, those scouts just kept looking at their scoutmaster, waiting, -anxious like. And all the while Hervey, with his hat on the side of his -head, sat straddling the peak of the garage, humming:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'><span class='it'>Your job is to follow and not to suppose</span>.</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>He said that last line good and loud.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Then, all of a sudden, that scoutmaster said, “Well, scouts, I wish -everyone were crazy in the same way you are. If our job is to follow and -not to suppose, lead on, and we’ll follow. We’ll take a chance and -follow our leader——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s me,” said Hervey Willetts, and down he came, sliding off the -slanting roof of the garage.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Oh boy, you should have seen those new scouts look at him.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXXIV'>CHAPTER XXXIV<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE START THE PARADE</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s form a parade with the garage for a float,” Bert shouted; “Hervey -will lead the way, next will come the funny-bone division with all the -veterans, next will come the portable garage with Willie Cook sitting on -top, and behind that will march the new troop.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Only remember that the garage can’t climb up trees,” I said to Hervey.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You leave it to me,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“And Darby Curren and the scoutmaster and Mr. Goobenhoff can sit on the -driver’s seat,” Warde said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The scoutmaster said, “Well, as long as we’ve all joined hands in this -doubtful enterprise and agreed to stand and fall together, we may as -well know each other. My name is Warren and these scouts form the First -Troop of Columbus. Columbus is proud of her scouts.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Columbus was a man,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He discovered Columbus Avenue,” I said. “He used to hang out in -Columbus Circle near Central Park.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t you believe him, he’s crazy,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’re all wrong,” Garry piped up, “Columbus was named after -Christopher Street, he was named after the Christopher Street Ferry. -These fellows with me don’t know anything about history.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We make a specialty of geography,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“And law,” Pee-wee shouted. “I know a lot about laws. I know a fellow -that lives in Columbus, his name is Smith. Did you ever hear of him? -Once I passed Columbus.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Columbus was lucky,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I had lunch there,” Pee-wee shouted.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“He has lunch everywhere,” I said. “Wherever he goes there’s a food -shortage the next day.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Well what are we going to do?” Warde said. “Are we going to jolly -Pee-wee or start a parade?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Answered in the affirmative,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>By that time all those fellows were laughing and Darby Curren said to -them, “These boys are the moving spirits of camp, they are; especially -that Willetts youngster.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure, we always keep moving,” I said. “Every day is moving day with us. -I hope you’ll like us when you don’t know us so well.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We like you already,” one of those Columbus scouts piped up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You mean you like lunatics?” Pee-wee shouted at them.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Mr. Warren said, “Oh yes, we like lunatics. Suppose we get started as -long as we’re in for it. I’m a little anxious to know our fate. We’re -trusting to you boys. I’ll feel a little shaky till——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s because you drink milk shakes,” Garry said. “Don’t you worry, -you’re going to have a roof over your heads and everything will be all -right.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s more fun on top of the roof,” Hervey said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Mr. Warren said, “Are you scouts all one patrol?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “No, I’ll tell you how it is. We belong to different patrols but -we go around together and they call us the Vagabond Patrol. -We’re insane, but we’re harmless. See? My patrol is the Silver Fox -Patrol and Warde, that’s this fellow, he’s in my patrol. Bert Winton is -in a troop from out west and Pee-wee Harris is in the Raven Patrol; -that’s in my troop, and this little fellow belongs in that patrol, too. -He’s more to be pitied than blamed. That other fellow, Garry, he comes -from down the Hudson and that fellow with a crazy hat, that’s Hervey -Willetts, he belongs in a troop from somewhere or other, I should worry. -He’s an Eagle Scout, that fellow is. Maybe you wouldn’t think so to look -at him. He drinks nut sundaes and he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s -the one that put the fun in funny-bone. He’s a regular Cook’s Tours in -himself.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Mr. Goobenhoff winked at Mr. Warren and they both winked at Darby Curren -and then Mr. Goobenhoff said, “Well if I’m to get this garage off my -hands we’d better be about it. How far is it to Temple Camp by the -road?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We have to go all the way around Crampton’s Hollow,” I said, “but -usually we don’t bother with roads because most of them go to places.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then we fixed a rope from the end of the shaft to the front of the -jitney bus and Darby put his shift into reverse, and the four horses -strained as the jitney backed up and pretty soon we were ready to start.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, if you want to go on down to Catskill Landing in that empty -bus with Darby Curren, go ahead, I can’t stop you. But if you want to -join the parade all right. I guess you know by this time that wherever -we go something happens. It isn’t our fault, it’s the fault of the -things. So then we started off along the road.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Some procession!</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXXV'>CHAPTER XXXV<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE END OUR HIKE</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>That was the long way around to Temple Camp, but we couldn’t help it, -because we had to follow the road.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s better than following a crazy leader,” Pee-wee said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Mr. Warren said, “The last turn is a good turn.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Every kind of a turn is a good one,” Hervey called back.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“They’re all better than each other, only some are more so,” I said. -“We’ll take you on some hikes all right. That’s one things I like about -Columbus, Ohio, he didn’t turn back, not till he saw the Statue of -Liberty.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='it'>“Columbus saw the Statue of Liberty?”</span> Pee-wee screamed.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Listen to the mocking bird,” I said. “I never said he saw the Statue of -Liberty; I said he didn’t turn back till he saw it, and he never turned -back, did he? That shows how much you know about botany.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Jolly him some more,” one of those Columbus scouts said, kind of -bashful like.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I can’t now,” I told him, “we’re coming to Stillman’s Hollow and we -have to be very still there because the natives are all asleep. We have -to go on tiptoe through the village. Shh!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So then Hervey started going on tiptoe, holding one finger up to his -mouth, awful funny. All of those Columbus scouts did the same and their -scoutmaster laughed, but just the same he seemed kind of thoughtful -like. I guess he wasn’t sure how the management at camp would take it -about his coming back, but it didn’t bother us any, because we were -bringing a shack back for that troop, and anyway we have Uncle jeb (he’s -camp manager) eating out of our hands. Whatever we say at Temple Camp -<span class='it'>goes</span>. I don’t say where it goes to, but it <span class='it'>goes</span>.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We tiptoed through Main Street in Stillman’s Hollow and some summer -boarders stared at us and laughed and a lot of people on the porch of -the post office laughed. I guess we must have looked pretty funny.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Pretty soon we came to the end of the village and Hervey said, “All -right, you can all talk at once now.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll all talk at once first,” Pee-wee piped up; “I’ve got something to -say.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Begin at the end, then you won’t have so far to go,” I said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s dump the garage down near the road,” he said, “then it’ll be away -from the main part of camp all by itself; it’ll be kind of like an -outpost.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That would suit us to a T,” Mr. Warren said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I thought of it,” Pee-wee shouted. “Then we can come up there and visit -you. I’ll be up every day.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Have a heart,” I said. “Do you call that a good turn?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Mr. Warren said, “If they’re kind enough to let us stay and camp in this -odd little house you may be sure the funny-bone hikers will always be -welcome.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You bet they will,” two or three of those fellows chimed in.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Set us down anywhere you choose,” Mr. Warren said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey said, “You don’t have to spend much time in your shack. The -Catskill Mountains are big enough for anybody.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Except you,” I said. “If you follow him,” I told those fellows, “you’ll -land on the island of Yap.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Hervey didn’t say anything, he just started singing, and going zigzag in -the road; I guess maybe he was trying to make the horses do that, too. -He sang the whole song, and before he was finished every fellow there -was singing and imitating all his motions.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Gee whiz, I can just see him now, the way he reached up and grabbed -branches and hopped on the stones and threw his hat up in the air and -swung it on a stick and walked lame and with his eyes shut, never -looking back at all just as if he didn’t care whether we were there or -not. Reckless, kind of; you know how he is.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>And even now when I’m home in Bridgeboro, whenever I get to humming that -song I think of Hervey Willetts. Even my sister Marjorie hums it and -Margaret Ellison caught it from her and her sister caught it from her -and if it ever gets into the school, <span class='it'>good night</span>, they’ll have to -close it up.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>If you once get those crazy verses in your head, goodby to history and -geography, and physics and arithmetic. But I don’t know, kind of it -doesn’t seem natural except when Hervey Willetts sings them. I don’t -know where he ever got them nor all the other crazy stuff he knows.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>There’s only one Temple Camp and there’s only one Hervey Willetts.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_XXXVI'>CHAPTER XXXVI<br/> <span class='sub-head'>WE DEMOBILIZE</span></h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>I guess I don’t have to tell you that it was all right about bringing -those scouts back and a shack for them to bunk in. Uncle Jeb said he was -only thankful that Hervey didn’t bring back the West Shore trains and -the drawbridge. He said he was thankful Hervey came back at all.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>When he heard that all Hervey brought back was a new troop and a -portable garage and all the rest of us safe and sound including the -animated Animal Cracker, he said, “That thar kid is losing his pep, he -daon’t seem ter hev no gumption no more.” Because usually Hervey brings -back tramps and organ-grinders and all people like that. Once he brought -back a fat man from a circus. So gee whiz, a portable garage was nothing -for him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Now I’ll tell you what we did. We put that portable garage on the edge -of camp, away up near the road. And we sold lemonade and scout -tenderflops to auto parties until we made enough money to pay Mr. -Goobenhoff. He said he wasn’t in a hurry and he’d trust us. And that’s -where those Columbus scouts spent the rest of the summer and that’s -better than Bear Mountain, I don’t care if all the bears hear me say so.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>And one good thing, Pee-wee was up there most of the time so we had some -peace down at camp, but we could often hear his voice.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The trustees wanted us to call the garage Good Turn Cabin, but we -wouldn’t do it because we wanted to call it Funny-bone Shack. And it’s -our shack, it belongs to the outlaws, or the vagabonds, or the -funny-bone hikers, or whatever you want to call us—we don’t care. And -every summer we let some poor troop go up there and stay in it. And it’s -all on account of that crazy song.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>So now I’m going to bed, because I’m going to play tennis to-morrow and -I’ve got to mow the lawn early in the morning, because my sister’s going -to have a lawn party in the afternoon and she’s going to have icing cake -and I’m going to be there.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Now when you finish reading all this crazy stuff if it makes you so you -can’t get to sleep and you keep lying awake, just begin saying to -yourself:</p> - -<div class='literal-container' style='margin-top:0.7em;margin-bottom:0.7em;'><div class='literal'> <!-- rend=';fs:0.9em;' --> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Your job is to follow and not to suppose,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>And follow your leader wherever he goes.</p> -<p class='line'> </p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t quit or complain at the stunts that he shows,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t ask to go home if it rains or it blows;</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>Don’t start to ask questions, or hint, or propose,</p> -<p class='line' style='font-size:0.9em;'>But follow your leader wherever he goes!</p> -</div></div> <!-- end rend --> - -<p class='pindent'>And the first thing you know you’ll wake up and find yourself fast -asleep and you can thank Hervey Willetts.</p> - -<div><h2 id='ch_LAST'>CHAPTER THE LAST</h2></div> - -<p class='pindent'>Now as long as that hike was so crazy, on account of us all being -crazy, we decided that it was best to call our remodeled garage the -“Good Turn Cabin.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>In about four hours and forty-two minutes, those Columbus scouts were -almost as crazy as we were, or rather are.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Say, fellows, let’s go over to the ‘Good Turn,’ and show the boys this -wild country!” said I.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Suits me,” said Hervey.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s serenade them,” said Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sere what?” asked Westy.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh you know what I mean,” said Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Is it a new kind of drink?” asked Warde.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>By this time we had almost reached the campus of the “Good Turn.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Hello, there, everybody happy?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’ll say so,” said a chorus of voices.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Ladies and gentlemen,” said I, “we’re here——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Because we’re here,” finished the Columbus scouts.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Right,” said I. “We’re here because we’re here, but that’s not all. -Pee-wee wants to give you some serenade, or something like that.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What kind of ade?” asked one of the boys. “If it’s something like -lemonade, you’re welcome.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You think you’re so smart,” said Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are you going to stand here like a couple of dunces, or are we going to -show these boys what we know about this part of the mountains?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Pee-wee’s right,” said Warde. “Roy, do your bit.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Ahemm,” began I. “I have come, attended by my bodyguard, or faithful -followers, to find out whether or not we may have the pleasure of your -company at dinner to-day, we——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh shut up,” said Pee-wee. “Gee, you haven’t any brains at all. -<span class='it'>I’ll</span> tell them. We want to take you boys around and show you the -woods and the lake, an’ I know where there’s a peachy bird’s nest; I’ll -show it to you,” said the good-natured little fellow.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Pee-wee’s right,” said I.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I’m sure we’d love to come, but some of the fellows are gone to the -post office, so that leaves just a few of us left,” said one of the -boys.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“But <span class='it'>we’d</span>, be delighted to come,” someone said.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>It happened that this fellow came from Maine. That made him a special -friend of Hervey and me, because he’s a Maniac.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“All right, let’s go,” said I. And we did go.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“This is the place where we trailed that convict, isn’t it?” asked -Westy.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Wait till you see my little nest,” said Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Your which?” asked the Maniac.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Shh, we’re near it now,” said Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Boys, hold your breath, don’t breathe or talk, we are now about to -enter the land of mystery,” said I.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“There it is, in that bush that comes down low like. Don’t touch it -though,” said Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We wouldn’t harm a hair on its little head,” said the Maniac.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s nothing,” said I. “Let me show you where the daisies grow. -<span class='it'>Then</span> you’ll see something nice.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Are you going to take us to the land of nod?” the Maniac asked.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Oh, you’re going to do more than nod,” I promised. “Wait ’til you get -there! Just <span class='it'>wait</span>.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s go up the hill,” suggested Westy.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“By the old haunted farm house?” asked Warde.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Nothing doing,” said the Maniac. “I’m scared of such places. If you -promise to take me by the hand and shield me from all danger, I might -think it over. Otherwise, I’ll go home and finish my knitting!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We promise,” said Westy.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Now I’ll tell you all about this haunted farm, so that you won’t be -frightened. In the first place, it’s not haunted at all. That is <span class='it'>I</span> -don’t think so, but the people that lived there <span class='it'>did</span> think so, ’cause -they moved out and left the farm just as it was. (When I get married I’m -coming up here and start farming, there’s enough tools and things.)</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Gee, you can have lots of fun here,” said Pee-wee. “I like the apple -trees and the big swing. You can see way over Overlook Mountain and -Black Lake when you’re eating an apple.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What? Do you mean to tell me they have magic apples up here? That’s -some record,” said the Maniac. “I know you can see stars, when you’re -hit over the head or something like it, but seeing mountains and lakes -when you’re eating an apple, beats anything I’ve <span class='it'>ever</span> heard.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Westy said, “Didn’t you hear Roy say we’re about to enter the land of -mystery? You should listen.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure,” I said, “if you eat enough apples you can look right through the -Woolworth Building.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Swingin’ of course, oh you fellows know what I mean——” began poor -Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Sure we do,” said the Maniac. “You mean if you take an apple and a cup -of hot water before retiring, you’ll never get a puncture.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I wish you could have seen that yard. It was a dandy place for a picnic. -The grass was so soft and green. Gee, it was a dandy farm.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“How can anyone ever accuse this place of being haunted?” asked the -Maniac. “I think it’s a picture.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s go up to the hay loft,” said Pee-wee. “I can see lots of hay -through this big door.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Be careful, that’s all I’ve got to say,” said Westy.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I suppose it’s all right for us to climb up, we’re not hurting -anything, or breaking anything, what do you think, Roy?” asked Warde.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I think it’s all right, we’re just having some fun, or honest pleasure, -(oh what’s that saying again?) and I don’t think anyone’s mean enough to -begrudge us our fun.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“You’ve got a good line, Roy,” said Warde.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Come on, we’re going to invade this barn, with you as our gallant -leader,” said the Maniac.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Who, me?” said I. “Let Pee-wee lead us. Why to-morrow the whole town -will know about the brave scouts; when Mr. Oltiemer reads his paper, he -will know how the brave scouts, or rather how the charge of the light -brigade swept the country side, how it invaded the poor old defenseless -barn, with brigadier-general Harris leading his brave regiment through -all sorts of falls and somersaults!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I wish you could of seen that kid. There he was, at the top of the -ladder, ready to climb over to the loft, when <span class='it'>good night</span>, he -stumbled.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Going down, Pee-wee?” asked the Maniac.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No stops ’til we reach the ground floor!” said Warde.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>And with a soft thud, Pee-wee landed on the bottom of the barn, hay and -straw fairly sprouting from him. He was a picture no artist could paint.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Ooohh,” was about the only answer we could get from him.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Why, Walter, don’t you know how to eat straw and hay?” asked one of the -Columbus scouts.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Ooohh,” Pee-wee said once more. “Why don’t you fellows try -it? It’s great. Only it’s not so very great when your mouth is full of -it and you can’t talk.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“All rightie,” said I. “We’ll try anything once, we’re brave, we can -face the ‘Perils of Pauline’ without flinching or moving a muscle of our -mouths.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We ought to leave that up to Pee-wee. He can handle that situation -better than any of us,” said Warde.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Thank goodness we’re not on a funny-bone hike now,” said Westy. -“Falling down hay lofts won’t even count as adventures, will they, -Hervey?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Follow your leader, wherever he goes,” replied Hervey.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Don’t, please have pity, if you start those verses again, we’ll all get -crazy again,” said I.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s all right,” said the Maniac, “if it wasn’t for those verses, we -wouldn’t be here to-day. I’ll stand up for those verses whenever I get a -chance, so there.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s climb the apple tree,” said Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Do you want to eat again?” asked Warde.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Yes, let’s go over there,” said the Maniac. “I want to see Broadway. -You’re all right, Pee-wee, your eyes should be called an academy, -because there are pupils there.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Say you’re pretty good for a new one, when you get back to Maine, -you’ll go back as bad almost as Roy Blakeley,” said Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Ah, you have given me hope, that I may be so clever!” said the Maniac.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Clever?” said Pee-wee scornfully.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hey, you fellows, come on over and see what I have found.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“What is it?” someone asked.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“That’s the joke, <span class='it'>what</span> is it?” I answered.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“It’s an old use to be buggy,” said Hervey.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“I should think it is buggy,” said I.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Gee, we ought to have some fun with it,” said Westy.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s take it up to the hill, in back of the barn and ride down in it,” -suggested Hervey.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“No sooner said than stung,” said I.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Just make believe we didn’t have fun rolling up the hill with a use to -be buggy, that was very buggy!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Roy, grab hold of this end,” said Hervey. “We’ll soon have her in -high!”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I said, “Say, Hervey, would you like to steer this buggy buggy?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“We didn’t have quite enough thrills on our hike,” said Warde, “so -please take the wheel and let’s have it over with.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Wheel? Just try and find a wheel,” said Hervey. “You’d stand a better -chance of taking the reins.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Taking the reins? I should worry as long as the rains don’t take us!” -said I.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Will you stop your fooling, Roy,” asked Warde, “and get started?”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>It’s really a shame how they pick on poor little me.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Well, we finally got the thing all set ready to go.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Say, Roy, we ought to have a speech in honor of the first ride with the -Boy Scouts!” said the Maniac.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Speech, speech,” cried several boys.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s sere—I mean christen it,” said Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Yes,” said Hervey, “we must do this thing right and spare no expenses.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“K. O.,” said I. “Here, cutie, run to the pump and fill up this bottle -with the best sparkling water there is; spare no expenses, as -Hervey said.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>The poor bottle did the best it could, with a certain amount of pensive -resignation, for it had undoubtedly seen better days.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Let’s do it in a different way. Let’s all get in and just as soon as -Roy is finished with the toast, (at which Pee-wee started) we’ll start -off,” said Hervey.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>We always did anything Hervey suggested because we knew that it would be -crazy, so we didn’t hesitate this time.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Hey, wait a minute,” yelled Pee-wee, “think -I’m going to stand here and watch you go down?” Oh that kid, just as he -said that, he gave a jump and hopped on the buggy. The jar was so great -that the buggy buggy went buggy, and started off without even waiting -for my speech.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>Honestly, it seemed as though everyone was falling over each other, as -the buggy went down and down. Upside down and inside out. Oh you should -of seen it.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>There sat Hervey and the Maniac, holding up the shaft, (at least what -was left of it) and even then, as we bumped into a rock, the rest of it -broke off. I had forgotten that I still held the water, until Pee-wee -jumped up and threw the bottle from my hand.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Say, do you think I look as though I need a cold shower? I’m not afraid -of water, but when it comes to people spilling it right and left, I -object,” said Warde.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Gee, I only have a few drops left, a scout’s supposed not to waste -anything, he——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I didn’t get a chance to say any more, for just then we heard a long -drawn moan, as though someone was in agony, and we were just in the -center of the hill, and couldn’t stop, or it would never have happened. -Another jolt, something like a turn in the Virginia Reel in Palisade -Park, and we were good for scrambled eggs.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“W-w-what was that?” asked Pee-wee.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Only one of the wheels came off,” said Hervey. “Long as we don’t get -hurt, we should worry if the whole thing comes apart.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>I guess the buggy didn’t want to go without its wheel, for it headed -towards a ditch, and each time the other wheels went around, it knocked -us all over. Laugh, I thought I’d die.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Gosh, if it would only stop,” said one of the boys, “I’d like to get my -breath again. This is great, but every time I get it, another jolt -t-t-takes it aw-w-way again.”</p> - -<p class='pindent'>With a final bang, we hit the side of the hill, and went sprawling for -the last time, gee, I was sorry.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>While we were lying there, undecided whether to get up or not, Pee-wee -saved the day.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“D-d-do you hear that?” fairly screamed Pee-wee. “Do you know what that -is? If you don’t, <span class='it'>I</span> do, and I’m going to answer it——”</p> - -<p class='pindent'><span class='it'>It</span> was the mess call, even if it took Pee-wee to hear it first, -<span class='it'>we</span> heard it now, and once more we dropped everything, for important -things come first. And as usual, Hervey started it again.</p> - -<p class='pindent'>“Come on, fall in line,” he said, and “Follow Your Leader.”</p> - - -<p> </p> -<p> </p> -<hr class="full" /> -<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROY BLAKELEY'S FUNNY-BONE HIKE***</p> -<p>******* This file should be named 60255-h.htm or 60255-h.zip *******</p> -<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> -<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/6/0/2/5/60255">http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/2/5/60255</a></p> -<p> -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed.</p> - -<p>Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive -specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this -eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook -for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, -performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given -away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks -not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the -trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. -</p> - -<h2 class="pg">START: FULL LICENSE<br /> -<br /> -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE<br /> -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK</h2> - -<p>To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full -Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at -www.gutenberg.org/license.</p> - -<h3>Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works</h3> - -<p>1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or -destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your -possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a -Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound -by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the -person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph -1.E.8.</p> - -<p>1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this -agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.</p> - -<p>1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the -Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection -of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual -works in the collection are in the public domain in the United -States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the -United States and you are located in the United States, we do not -claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, -displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as -all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope -that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting -free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm -works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the -Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily -comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the -same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when -you share it without charge with others.</p> - -<p>1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are -in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, -check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this -agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, -distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any -other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no -representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any -country outside the United States.</p> - -<p>1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:</p> - -<p>1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other -immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear -prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work -on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, -performed, viewed, copied or distributed:</p> - -<blockquote><p>This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United - States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost - no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use - it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with - this eBook or online - at <a href="http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you - are not located in the United States, you'll have to check the laws - of the country where you are located before using this - ebook.</p></blockquote> - -<p>1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is -derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not -contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the -copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in -the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are -redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply -either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or -obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.</p> - -<p>1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any -additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms -will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works -posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the -beginning of this work.</p> - -<p>1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.</p> - -<p>1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License.</p> - -<p>1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including -any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access -to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format -other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official -version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site -(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense -to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means -of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain -Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the -full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.</p> - -<p>1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.</p> - -<p>1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -provided that</p> - -<ul> -<li>You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed - to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has - agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid - within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are - legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty - payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in - Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg - Literary Archive Foundation."</li> - -<li>You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all - copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue - all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm - works.</li> - -<li>You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of - any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of - receipt of the work.</li> - -<li>You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.</li> -</ul> - -<p>1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than -are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing -from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The -Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.</p> - -<p>1.F.</p> - -<p>1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project -Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may -contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate -or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other -intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or -other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or -cannot be read by your equipment.</p> - -<p>1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE.</p> - -<p>1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium -with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you -with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in -lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person -or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second -opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If -the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing -without further opportunities to fix the problem.</p> - -<p>1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO -OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT -LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.</p> - -<p>1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of -damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement -violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the -agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or -limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or -unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the -remaining provisions.</p> - -<p>1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in -accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the -production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, -including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of -the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this -or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or -additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any -Defect you cause. </p> - -<h3>Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm</h3> - -<p>Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of -computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It -exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations -from people in all walks of life.</p> - -<p>Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future -generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see -Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at -www.gutenberg.org.</p> - -<h3>Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation</h3> - -<p>The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by -U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.</p> - -<p>The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the -mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its -volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous -locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt -Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to -date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and -official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact</p> - -<p>For additional contact information:</p> - -<p> Dr. Gregory B. Newby<br /> - Chief Executive and Director<br /> - gbnewby@pglaf.org</p> - -<h3>Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation</h3> - -<p>Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS.</p> - -<p>The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND -DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular -state visit <a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/donate">www.gutenberg.org/donate</a>.</p> - -<p>While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate.</p> - -<p>International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.</p> - -<p>Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To -donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate</p> - -<h3>Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works.</h3> - -<p>Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project -Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be -freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and -distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of -volunteer support.</p> - -<p>Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in -the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition.</p> - -<p>Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org</p> - -<p>This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.</p> - -</body> -</html> - diff --git a/old/60255-h/images/cover.jpg b/old/60255-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 26857eb..0000000 --- a/old/60255-h/images/cover.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60255-h/images/illus-027.jpg b/old/60255-h/images/illus-027.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 9ef6042..0000000 --- a/old/60255-h/images/illus-027.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60255-h/images/illus-100.jpg b/old/60255-h/images/illus-100.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index ddb7c82..0000000 --- a/old/60255-h/images/illus-100.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60255-h/images/illus-119.jpg b/old/60255-h/images/illus-119.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 58601d4..0000000 --- a/old/60255-h/images/illus-119.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/60255-h/images/illus-fpc.jpg b/old/60255-h/images/illus-fpc.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index a1e79e6..0000000 --- a/old/60255-h/images/illus-fpc.jpg +++ /dev/null |
