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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0a02ade --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #60229 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/60229) diff --git a/old/60229-0.txt b/old/60229-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 85f0661..0000000 --- a/old/60229-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1276 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's The Priest And The Acolyte, by John Francis Bloxam - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Priest And The Acolyte - With an Introductory Protest by Stuart Mason - -Author: John Francis Bloxam - -Commentator: Stuart Mason - -Release Date: September 3, 2019 [EBook #60229] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRIEST AND THE ACOLYTE *** - - - - -Produced by M.K., David Wilson and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was -produced from images made available by the HathiTrust -Digital Library.) - - - - - - - - - -THE PRIEST AND THE ACOLYTE - - - - - THE - PRIEST - AND - THE - ACOLYTE - - - WITH AN - INTRODUCTORY - PROTEST BY - STUART MASON - - - LONDON: AT THE LOTUS PRESS - NINETEEN HUNDRED AND SEVEN - - - - -So many copies of “The Priest and the Acolyte” have been sold by -unscrupulous publishers and booksellers under the implication that it -is the work of Oscar Wilde that it has been thought good to issue this -edition with the object of putting an end, once and for all, to the -possibility of purchasers being misled as to the authorship. - -The story was originally published in _The Chameleon_, the first and -only number of which appeared in December, 1894. The author of the -story was an undergraduate at Oxford, “an insufficiently birched -schoolboy,” as he has recently been described, and he alone was -responsible for the contents of the magazine which he edited. At the -time of the trial of Lord Queensberry for libel a few months later it -was attempted to show that Oscar Wilde not only approved of the theme -of the story, but that he was actually a party to the publication of -it, on the grounds that he sent to the editor a number of aphorisms -under the title of “Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the -Young.” - -The simplest way of showing what Oscar Wilde really thought of the -story is to quote what he said when examined in Court on the subject. - -John Sholto Douglas, Eighth Marquis of Queensberry, was arrested on -a warrant on March 1, 1895, on a charge of uttering a criminal libel -against Oscar Wilde. On the following morning he was brought up before -Mr. Newton at Marlborough Street Police Court, and after some formal -evidence had been taken was remanded on bail for a week, and on the -second hearing was formally committed to take his trial at the Central -Criminal Court a few weeks later. - -The trial began at the Old Bailey on Wednesday, April 3, before -Mr. Justice Henn Collins. Sir Edward Clarke, Q.C., M.P., Mr. Charles -Mathews and Mr. Travers Humphreys appeared for the prosecution; -Mr. Carson, Q.C., M.P., Mr. C. F. Gill and Mr. A. Gill being for the -defence. - -The court was crowded. The Marquis was the first to arrive. He came in -alone, and stood, hat in hand, in front of the dock. He spoke to no -one, and no one spoke to him. There was little that was aristocratic -in the Marquis’s appearance. He was of short stature, with a round -face, and clean shaven except for a streak of red whisker. His lower -lip drooped considerably. A few minutes before half-past ten, -Mr. Oscar Wilde entered the court and took a seat immediately in -front of his Counsel, with whom he at once joined in an animated -conversation. - -The Judge was ten minutes late, but (the Marquis having entered the -dock) the preliminary proceedings were soon got through, and at a -quarter to eleven, Sir Edward Clarke began his speech for the -prosecution. Everybody listened attentively to the story, as set -forth by Counsel, of the prosecutor’s achievements at college, his -subsequent success as a littérateur, and the circumstances under -which he became acquainted with the defendant’s family. “Phrases and -Philosophies for the Use of the Young,” which Oscar Wilde contributed -to _The Chameleon_, was mentioned in the plea of the defence as -“immoral and obscene,” and Sir Edward Clarke occupied some time in -an endeavour to prove the contrary. With regard to _The Chameleon_, -Counsel admitted that it contained a story entitled “The Priest and -the Acolyte,” which could not be justified, but he declared his client -could not be held responsible for the publication as a whole, he being -but a contributor to its pages. As a matter of fact, Mr. Wilde urged -upon the editor that the book should be withdrawn. - -Soon after Mr. Carson began his cross-examination, it became apparent -that the line he was adopting would result in a conflict between -Counsel. Mr. Wilde was being questioned as to his opinion on certain -extracts from “The Priest and the Acolyte,” when Sir Edward Clarke -jumped to his feet and appealed to the Judge whether the questions -were relevant, inasmuch as Mr. Wilde was not responsible for the -story. The Judge ruled in favour of Mr. Carson. Sir Edward, a few -minutes later, raised another objection, but he was again overruled. - -The interval for luncheon came as a pleasant relief to all, and, on -the application of Mr. Carson, the Judge consented to the defendant -being allowed his freedom till the court resumed its sitting. - -Sir Edward Clarke, in the course of his speech for the prosecution, -said that there were two extremely curious counts at the end of the -plea. One was that in December, 1894, was “published a certain immoral -work in the form of _The Chameleon_, relating to practices and -passions of an unnatural kind,” and that his client had “joined in -procuring the publication of _The Chameleon_, with his name upon it as -the principal contributor.” That was a very gross allegation. Directly -Mr. Wilde saw the magazine, he noticed there was a story in it called -“The Priest and the Acolyte,” which was a disgrace to literature, -which it was amazing any body wrote, and still more amazing that any -body allowed to be published under his name.[1] Directly Mr. Wilde -saw that story he communicated with the editor, and upon his -insistence the magazine was withdrawn. He had no knowledge that that -story was about to be published. It was strange indeed, then, to find -that publication put upon the particulars as justifying the charge -against Mr. Wilde. - - [Footnote 1: Sir Edward Clarke was in error. The story was - published anonymously, being signed “X” only, though the author’s - real name was more or less an open secret in Oxford at the time.] - -In his examination in chief, Sir Edward Clarke said: It is suggested -that you are responsible for the publication of _The Chameleon_ on the -front page of which some aphorisms of yours appear. Beyond sending -that contribution had you any thing to do with the preparation or -ownership, editorship or publication of that magazine? - -Witness—No; nothing whatever. - -Until you saw this number of _The Chameleon_ did you know any thing -about the story, “The Priest and the Acolyte”? - -Nothing at all. - -Upon seeing the story in print, did you communicate with the editor? - -The editor came to see me at the Café Royal to speak to me about it. - -Did you approve of the story of “The Priest and the Acolyte”? - -I thought it bad and indecent, and I strongly disapproved of it. - -Was that disapproval expressed to the editor? - -Yes. - -Oscar Wilde was then cross-examined by Mr. Carson for the defence. - -You read “The Priest and the Acolyte”? - -Yes. - -You have no doubt that that was an improper story? - -From the literary point of view it was highly improper. It is -impossible for a man of literature to judge it otherwise, by -literature meaning treatment, selection of subject, and the like. -I thought the treatment rotten and the subject rotten. - -You are of opinion, I believe, that there is no such thing as an -immoral book? - -Yes. - -May I take it that you think “The Priest and the Acolyte” was not -immoral? - -It was worse; it was badly written. - -Was not the story that of a priest who fell in love with a boy who -served him at the altar, and the boy was discovered in the priest’s -room, and a scandal arose? - -I have read it only once, in November last, and nothing will induce -me to read it again. - -Did you think the story blasphemous? - -I think it violated every artistic canon of beauty. - -That is not an answer. - -It is the only one I can give. - -I want you to see the position you pose in. - -I do not think you should say that. - -I have said nothing out of the way. I wish to know whether you thought -the story blasphemous. - -The story filled me with disgust. - -Answer the question, sir. Did you, or did you not, consider the story -blasphemous? - -I did not consider the story blasphemous. - -I am satisfied with that. You know that when the priest in the story -administers poison to the boy he uses the words of the Sacrament of -the Church of England? - -That I entirely forgot. - -Do you consider that blasphemous? - -I think it is horrible. “Blasphemous” is not the word. - -Mr. Carson then read the words describing the administration of the -poison in the Sacrament, and asked Mr. Wilde whether he approved of -them. - -The witness replied that he thought them disgusting, perfect twaddle. - -I think you will admit that any one who would approve of such an -article would pose as guilty of improper practices? - -I do not think so in the person of another contributor to the -magazine. It would show very bad literary taste. I strongly objected -to the whole story. I took no steps to express public disapproval of -_The Chameleon_, because I think it would have been beneath my dignity -as a man of letters to associate myself with an Oxford undergraduate’s -productions. I am aware that the magazine might have been circulated -among the undergraduates of Oxford, but I do not believe that any book -or work of art ever had any effect whatever on morality. - -Am I right in saying that you do not consider the effect in creating -morality or immorality? - -Certainly, I do not. - -So far as your own works are concerned you pose as not being -concerned about morality or immorality? - -I do not know whether you use the word “pose” in any particular sense. - -It is a favourite word of your own. - -Is it? I have no pose in this matter. In writing a play or a book I am -concerned entirely with literature, that is, with art. I aim not at -doing good or evil but in trying to make a thing that will have some -quality of beauty. - -What would any body say would be the effect of “Phrases and -Philosophies for the Use of the Young” taken in connection with such -an article as “The Priest and the Acolyte”? - -Undoubtedly, it was the idea that might be formed that made me object -so strongly to the story. I saw at once that maxims that were -perfectly nonsensical, paradoxical or any thing you like, might be -read in conjunction with it. - -On Tuesday, April 30, which was the fourth day of the first trial of -Oscar Wilde, Sir Edward Clarke entered an emphatic protest against -Mr. Gill having read over again the cross-examination of the accused -upon his books and writings which he had given at the trial of Lord -Queensberry. It was not fair to judge of a man’s conduct by his books, -but the Prosecution had gone much further than that, and had sought to -judge Wilde by books which he did not write, and by a story which he -had repudiated as horrible and disgusting. Public opinion had been -excited and fanned by the quotation in Court of passages of literature -for which he was not responsible. - -The subject then dropped, and the next reference to it was made by -Mr. Justice Charles in his summing up on the last day of Oscar Wilde’s -first trial (May 1) when the Jury disagreed and was unable to return -a verdict. His lordship said that he did not propose to deal at any -length with the incidents of the Queensberry trial, but that it must -be remembered that the evidence of Wilde at that trial was given on -oath and must not be lost sight of in considering that which he had -given the previous day or two in that Court. A very large portion of -the evidence of Wilde at the Queensberry trial was devoted to what -Sir Edward Clarke had called “the literary part of the case,” and it -had been attempted to show by cross-examination that Wilde was a man -of most unprincipled character with regard to the relation of men to -boys. In regard to a magazine called _The Chameleon_, published in the -autumn of 1894, it was alleged that Wilde had given the sanction of -his name to the most abominable doctrines, but the only connection -proved between that magazine and the defendant was that it was -prefaced by two or three pages of aphorisms by the accused, of which -it was sufficient to say that some were amusing, some cynical, some, -if his lordship might be allowed to criticize, silly; but wicked, no. - -The learned Counsel who represented Lord Queensberry, the Judge -continued, had called attention to a story, a filthy narrative of a -most disgusting character, called “The Priest and the Acolyte,” of -which the author, who signed himself “X,” should be thoroughly -ashamed. With that story Wilde had had nothing whatever to do, and -to impute to him any thing in it was quite absurd. To judge him by -another man’s works which he had never seen would be highly unjust. - -In the second trial of Oscar Wilde, which was heard before Mr. Justice -Willis on the following May 22 to 25, no mention was made of _The -Chameleon_ or of “The Priest and the Acolyte.” - -What is stated above ought to be sufficient, once and for all, to -dissociate the name of the author of “Salomé” and “Lady Windermere’s -Fan” from the story reprinted in the following pages. - - - - -THE PRIEST AND THE ACOLYTE - -_Honi soit qui mal y pense_ - - -PART I - -“Pray, father, give me thy blessing, for I have sinned.” - -The priest started; he was tired in mind and body; his soul was -sad and his heart heavy as he sat in the terrible solitude of the -confessional ever listening to the same dull round of oft-repeated -sins. He was weary of the conventional tones and matter-of-fact -expressions. Would the world always be the same? For nearly twenty -centuries the Christian priests had sat in the confessional and -listened to the same old tale. The world seemed to him no better; -always the same, the same. The young priest sighed to himself, and -for a moment almost wished people would be worse. Why could they not -escape from these old wearily-made paths and be a little original in -their vices, if sin they must? But the voice he now listened to -aroused him from his reverie. It was so soft and gentle, so diffident -and shy. - -He gave the blessing, and listened. Ah, yes! he recognized the voice -now. It was the voice he had heard for the first time only that very -morning: the voice of the little acolyte that had served his Mass. - -He turned his head and peered through the grating at the little bowed -head beyond. There was no mistaking those long soft curls. Suddenly, -for one moment, the face was raised, and the large moist blue eyes -met his; he saw the little oval face flushed with shame at the simple -boyish sins he was confessing, and a thrill shot through him, for he -felt that here at least was something in the world that was beautiful, -something that was really true. Would the day come when those soft -scarlet lips would have grown hard and false? when the soft shy treble -would have become careless and conventional? His eyes filled with -tears, and in a voice that had lost its firmness he gave the -absolution. - -After a pause, he heard the boy rise to his feet, and watched him wend -his way across the little chapel and kneel before the altar while he -said his penance. The priest hid his thin tired face in his hands and -sighed wearily. The next morning, as he knelt before the altar and -turned to say the words of confession to the little acolyte whose head -was bent so reverently towards him, he bowed low till his hair just -touched the golden halo that surrounded the little face, and he felt -his veins burn and tingle with a strange new fascination. - -When that most wonderful thing in the whole world, complete -soul-absorbing love for another, suddenly strikes a man, that man -knows what heaven means, and he understands hell: but if the man be -an ascetic, a priest whose whole heart is given to ecstatic devotion, -it were better for that man if he had never been born. - -When they reached the vestry and the boy stood before him reverently -receiving the sacred vestments, he knew that henceforth the entire -devotion of his religion, the whole ecstatic fervour of his prayers, -would be connected with, nay, inspired by, one object alone. With the -same reverence and humility as he would have felt in touching the -consecrated elements he laid his hands on the curl-crowned head, he -touched the small pale face, and, raising it slightly, he bent forward -and gently touched the smooth white brow with his lips. - -When the child felt the caress of his fingers, for one moment every -thing swam before his eyes; but when he felt the light touch of the -tall priest’s lips, a wonderful assurance took possession of him: he -understood. He raised his little arms, and, clasping his slim white -fingers around the priest’s neck kissed him on the lips. With a sharp -cry the priest fell upon his knees, and, clasping the little figure -clad in scarlet and lace to his heart, he covered the tender flushing -face with burning kisses. Then suddenly there came upon them both a -quick sense of fear; they parted hastily, with hot trembling fingers -folded the sacred vestments, and separated in silent shyness. - - * * * * * - -The priest returned to his poor rooms and tried to sit down and think, -but all in vain: he tried to eat, but could only thrust away his plate -in disgust: he tried to pray, but instead of the calm figure on the -cross, the calm, cold figure with the weary, weary face, he saw -continually before him the flushed face of a lovely boy, the wide -star-like eyes of his new-found love. - -All that day the young priest went through the round of his various -duties mechanically, but he could not eat nor sit quiet, for when -alone, strange shrill bursts of song kept thrilling through his brain, -and he felt that he must flee out into the open air or go mad. - -At length, when night came, and the long, hot day had left him -exhausted and worn out, he threw himself on his knees before his -crucifix and compelled himself to think. - -He called to mind his boyhood and his early youth; there returned to -him the thought of the terrible struggles of the last five years. -Here he knelt, Ronald Heatherington, priest of Holy Church, aged -twenty-eight: what he had endured during these five years of fierce -battling with those terrible passions he had fostered in his boyhood, -was it all to be in vain? For the last year he had really felt that -all passion was subdued, all those terrible outbursts of passionate -love he had really believed to be stamped out for ever. He had worked -so hard, so unceasingly, through all these five years since his -ordination—he had given himself up solely and entirely to his sacred -office; all the intensity of his nature had been concentrated, -completely absorbed, in the beautiful mysteries of his religion. He -had avoided all that could affect him, all that might call up any -recollection of his early life. Then he had accepted this curacy, with -sole charge of the little chapel that stood close beside the cottage -where he was now living, the little mission-chapel that was the -most distant of the several grouped round the old Parish Church of -St. Anselm. He had arrived only two or three days before, and, going -to call on the old couple who lived in the cottage, the back of which -formed the boundary of his own little garden, had been offered the -services of their grandson as acolyte. - -“My son was an artist fellow, sir,” the old man had said: “he never -was satisfied here, so we sent him off to London; he was made a lot of -there, sir, and married a lady, but the cold weather carried him off -one winter, and his poor young wife was left with the baby. She -brought him up and taught him herself, sir, but last winter she was -taken too, so the poor lad came to live with us—so delicate he is, -sir, and not one of the likes of us; he’s a gentleman born and bred, -is Wilfred. His poor mother used to like him to go and serve at the -church near them in London, and the boy was so fond of it himself that -we thought, supposing you did not mind, sir, that it would be a treat -for him to do the same here.” - -“How old is the boy?” asked the young priest. - -“Fourteen, sir,” replied the grandmother. - -“Very well, let him come to the chapel to-morrow morning,” Ronald had -agreed. - -Entirely absorbed in his devotions, the young man had scarcely -noticed the little acolyte who was serving for him, and it was not -till he was hearing his confession later in the day that he had -realized his wonderful loveliness. - -“Ah God! help me! pity me! After all this weary labour and toil, just -when I am beginning to hope, is every thing to be undone? am I to lose -every thing? Help me, help me, O God!” - -Even while he prayed; even while his hands were stretched out in -agonized supplication towards the feet of that crucifix before which -his hardest battles had been fought and won; even while the tears of -bitter contrition and miserable self-mistrust were dimming his -eyes—there came a soft tap on the glass of the window beside him. He -rose to his feet, and wonderingly drew back the dingy curtain. There -in the moonlight, before the open window, stood a small white -figure—there, with his bare feet on the moon-blanched turf, dressed -only in his long white night-shirt, stood his little acolyte, the boy -who held his whole future in his small childish hands. - -“Wilfred, what are you doing here?” he asked in a trembling voice. - -“I could not sleep, father, for thinking of you, and I saw a light in -your room, so I got out through the window and came to see you. Are -you angry with me, father?” he asked, his voice faltering as he saw -the almost fierce expression in the thin ascetic face. - -“Why did you come to see me?” The priest hardly dared recognize the -situation, and scarcely heard what the boy said. - -“Because I love you, I love you—oh, so much! but you—you are angry -with me—oh, why did I ever come! why did I ever come!—I never -thought you would be angry!” and the little fellow sank on the grass -and burst into tears. - -The priest sprang through the open window, and seizing the slim little -figure in his arms, he carried him into the room. He drew the curtain, -and, sinking into the deep arm-chair, laid the little fair head upon -his breast, kissing his curls again and again. - -“O my darling! my own beautiful darling!” he whispered, “how could -I ever be angry with you? You are more to me than all the world. -Ah, God! how I love you, my darling! my own sweet darling!” - -For nearly an hour the boy nestled there in his arms, pressing his -soft cheek against his; then the priest told him he must go. For one -long last kiss their lips met, and then the small white-clad figure -slipped through the window, sped across the little moonlit garden, -and vanished through the opposite window. - -When they met in the vestry next morning, the lad raised his beautiful -flower-like face, and the priest, gently putting his arms round him, -kissed him tenderly on the lips. - -“My darling! my darling!” was all he said; but the lad returned his -kiss with a smile of wonderful almost heavenly love, in a silence that -seemed to whisper something more than words. - -“I wonder what was the matter with the father this morning?” said one -old woman to another, as they were returning from the chapel; “he -didn’t seem himself at all; he made more mistakes this morning than -Father Thomas made in all the year he was here.” - -“Seemed as if he had never said a Mass before!” replied her friend, -with something of contempt. - -And that night, and for many nights after, the priest, with the pale -tired-looking face, drew the curtain over his crucifix and waited at -the window for the glimmer of the pale summer moonlight on a crown -of golden curls, for the sight of slim boyish limbs clad in the long -white night-shirt, that only emphasized the grace of every movement, -and the beautiful pallor of the little feet speeding across the grass. -There at the window, night after night, he waited to feel tender -loving arms thrown round his neck, and to feel the intoxicating -delight of beautiful boyish lips raining kisses on his own. - -Ronald Heatherington made no mistakes in the Mass now. He said the -solemn words with a reverence and devotion that made the few poor -people who happened to be there speak of him afterwards almost with -awe; while the face of the little acolyte at his side shone with a -fervour which made them ask each other what this strange light could -mean. Surely the young priest must be a saint indeed, while the boy -beside him looked more like an angel from heaven than any child of -human birth. - - -PART II - -The world is very stern with those that thwart her. She lays down -her precepts, and woe to those who dare to think for themselves, who -venture to exercise their own discretion as to whether they shall -allow their individuality and natural characteristics to be stamped -out, to be obliterated under the leaden fingers of convention. - -Truly, convention is the stone that has become head of the corner in -the jerry-built temple of our superficial, self-assertive -civilization. - -“_And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on -whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder._” - -If the world sees any thing she cannot understand, she assigns the -basest motives to all concerned, supposing the presence of some secret -shame, the idea of which, at least, her narrow-minded intelligence is -able to grasp. - -The people no longer regarded their priest as a saint, and his acolyte -as an angel. They still spoke of them with bated breath and with their -fingers on their lips; they still drew back out of the way when they -met either of them; but now they gathered together in groups of twos -and threes and shook their heads. - -The priest and his acolyte heeded not; they never even noticed the -suspicious glances and half-suppressed murmurs. Each had found in the -other perfect sympathy and perfect love: what could the outside world -matter to them now? Each was to the other the perfect fulfilment of a -scarcely preconceived ideal; neither heaven nor hell could offer more. -But the stone of convention had been undermined; the time could not be -far distant when it must fall. - - * * * * * - -The moonlight was very clear and very beautiful; the cool night air -was heavy with the perfume of the old-fashioned flowers that bloomed -so profusely in the little garden. But in the priest’s little room -the closely drawn curtains shut out all the beauty of the night. -Entirely forgetful of all the world, absolutely oblivious of every -thing but one another, wrapped in the beautiful visions of a love that -far outshone all the splendour of the summer night, the priest and the -little acolyte were together. - -The little lad sat on his knees with his arms closely pressed round -his neck and his golden curls laid against the priest’s close-cut -hair; his white night-shirt contrasting strangely and beautifully with -the dull black of the other’s long cassock. - -There was a step on the road outside—a step drawing nearer and -nearer; a knock at the door. They heard it not; completely absorbed in -each other, intoxicated with the sweetly poisonous draught that is the -gift of love, they sat in silence. But the end had come: the blow had -fallen at last. The door opened, and there before them in the doorway -stood the tall figure of the rector. - -Neither said any thing; only the little boy clung closer to his -beloved, and his eyes grew large with fear. Then the young priest rose -slowly to his feet and put the lad from him. - -“You had better go, Wilfred,” was all he said. - -The two priests stood in silence watching the child as he slipped -through the window, stole across the grass, and vanished into the -opposite cottage. - -Then the two turned and faced each other. - -The young priest sank into his chair and clasped his hands, waiting -for the other to speak. - -“So it has come to this!” he said: “the people were only too right in -what they told me! Ah, God! that such a thing should have happened -here! that it has fallen on me to expose your shame—our shame! that -it is I who must give you up to justice, and see that you suffer the -full penalty of your sin! Have you nothing to say?” - -“Nothing—nothing,” he replied softly. “I cannot ask for pity: I -cannot explain: you would never understand. I do not ask you any -thing for myself, I do not ask you to spare me; but think of the -terrible scandal to our dear Church.” - -“It is better to expose these terrible scandals and see that they are -cured. It is folly to conceal a sore: better show all our shame than -let it fester.” - -“Think of the child.” - -“That was for you to do: you should have thought of him before. What -has his shame to do with me? it was your business. Besides, I would -not spare him if I could: what pity can I feel for such as he——?” - -But the young man had risen, pale to the lips. - -“Hush!” he said in a low voice; “I forbid you to speak of him before -me with any thing but respect”; then softly to himself, “with any -thing but reverence; with any thing but devotion.” - -The other was silent, awed for the moment. Then his anger rose. - -“Dare you speak openly like that? Where is your penitence, your shame? -have you no sense of the horror of your sin?” - -“There is no sin for which I should feel shame,” he answered very -quietly. “God gave me my love for him, and He gave him also his love -for me. Who is there that shall withstand God and the love that is His -gift?” - -“Dare you profane the name by calling such a passion as this ‘love’?” - -“It was love, perfect love: it _is_ perfect love.” - -“I can say no more now; to-morrow all shall be known. Thank God, you -shall pay dearly for all this disgrace,” he added, in a sudden -outburst of wrath. - -“I am sorry you have no mercy;—not that I fear exposure and -punishment for myself. But mercy can seldom be found from a -Christian,” he added, as one that speaks from without. - -The rector turned towards him suddenly, and stretched out his hands. - -“Heaven forgive me my hardness of heart,” he said. “I have been cruel; -I have spoken cruelly in my distress. Ah, can you say nothing to -defend your crime?” - -“No: I do not think I can do any good by that. If I attempted to deny -all guilt, you would only think I lied: though I should prove my -innocence, yet my reputation, my career, my whole future, are ruined -for ever. But will you listen to me for a little? I will tell you a -little about myself.” - -The rector sat down while his curate told him the story of his life, -sitting by the empty grate with his chin resting on his clasped hands. - -“I was at a big public school, as you know. I was always different -from other boys. I never cared much for games. I took little interest -in those things for which boys usually care so much. I was not very -happy in my boyhood, I think. My one ambition was to find the ideal -for which I longed. It has always been thus: I have always had an -indefinite longing for something, a vague something that never quite -took shape, that I could never quite understand. My great desire has -always been to find something that would satisfy me. I was attracted -at once by sin: my whole early life is stained and polluted with the -taint of sin. Sometimes even now I think that there are sins more -beautiful than any thing else in the world. There are vices that are -bound to attract almost irresistibly any one who loves beauty above -every thing. I have always sought for love: again and again I have -been the victim of fits of passionate affection: time after time I -have seemed to have found my ideal at last: the whole object of my -life has been, times without number, to gain the love of some -particular person. Several times my efforts were successful; each time -I woke to find that the success I had obtained was worthless after -all. As I grasped the prize, it lost all its attraction—I no longer -cared for what I had once desired with my whole heart. In vain I -endeavoured to drown the yearnings of my heart with the ordinary -pleasures and vices that usually attract the young. I had to choose a -profession. I became a priest. The whole æsthetic tendency of my soul -was intensely attracted by the wonderful mysteries of Christianity, -the artistic beauty of our services. Ever since my ordination I have -been striving to cheat myself into the belief that peace had come at -last—at last my yearning was satisfied: but all in vain. Unceasingly -I have struggled with the old cravings for excitement, and, above all, -the weary, incessant thirst for a perfect love. I have found, and -still find, an exquisite delight in religion: not in the regular -duties of a religious life, not in the ordinary round of parish -organizations;—against these I chafe incessantly;—no, my delight is -in the æsthetic beauty of the services, the ecstasy of devotion, the -passionate fervour that comes with long fasting and meditation.” - -“Have you found no comfort in prayer?” asked the rector. - -“Comfort?—no. But I have found in prayer pleasure, excitement, almost -a fierce delight of sin.” - -“You should have married. I think that would have saved you.” - -Ronald Heatherington rose to his feet and laid his hand on the -rector’s arm. - -“You do not understand me. I have never been attracted by a woman in -my life. Can you not see that people are different, totally different, -from one another? To think that we are all the same is impossible; -our natures, our temperaments, are utterly unlike. But this is what -people will never see; they found all their opinions on a wrong basis. -How can their deductions be just if their premisses are wrong? One law -laid down by the majority, who happen to be of one disposition, is -only binding on the minority _legally_, not _morally_. What right have -you, or any one, to tell me that such and such a thing is sinful for -me? Oh, why can I not explain to you and force you to see?” and his -grasp tightened on the other’s arm. Then he continued, speaking fast -and earnestly:— - -“For me, with my nature, to have married would have been sinful: it -would have been a crime, a gross immorality, and my conscience would -have revolted.” Then he added, bitterly: “Conscience should be that -divine instinct which bids us seek after that our natural disposition -needs—we have forgotten that; to most of us, to the world, nay, even -to Christians in general, conscience is merely another name for the -cowardice that dreads to offend against convention. Ah, what a cursed -thing convention is! I have committed no moral offence in this matter; -in the sight of God my soul is blameless; but to you and to the world -I am guilty of an abominable crime—abominable, because it is a sin -against convention, forsooth! I met this boy: I loved him as I had -never loved any one or any thing before: I had no need to labour to -win his affection—he was mine by right: he loved me, even as I loved -him, from the first: he was the necessary complement to my soul. How -dare the world presume to judge us? What is convention to us? -Nevertheless, although I really knew that such a love was beautiful -and blameless, although from the bottom of my heart I despised the -narrow judgment of the world, yet for his sake and for the sake of our -Church, I tried at first to resist. I struggled against the -fascination he possessed for me. I would never have gone to him and -asked his love; I would have struggled on till the end: but what could -I do? It was he that came to me, and offered me the wealth of love his -beautiful soul possessed. How could I tell to such a nature as his the -hideous picture the world would paint? Even as you saw him this -evening, he has come to me night by night,—how dare I disturb the -sweet purity of his soul by hinting at the horrible suspicions his -presence might arouse? I knew what I was doing. I have faced the world -and set myself up against it. I have openly scoffed at its dictates. I -do not ask you to sympathize with me, nor do I pray you to stay your -hand. Your eyes are blinded with a mental cataract. You are bound, -bound with those miserable ties that have held you body and soul from -the cradle. You must do what you believe to be your duty. In God’s -eyes we are martyrs, and we shall not shrink even from death in this -struggle against the idolatrous worship of convention.” - -Ronald Heatherington sank into a chair, hiding his face in his hands, -and the rector left the room in silence. - -For some minutes the young priest sat with his face buried in his -hands. Then with a sigh he rose and crept across the garden till he -stood beneath the open window of his darling. - -“Wilfred,” he called very softly. - -The beautiful face, pale and wet with tears, appeared at the window. - -“I want you, my darling; Will you come?” he whispered. - -“Yes, father,” the boy softly answered. - -The priest led him back to his room; then, taking him very gently in -his arms, he tried to warm the cold little feet with his hands. - -“My darling, it is all over.” And he told him as gently as he could -all that lay before them. - -The boy hid his face on his shoulder, crying softly. - -“Can I do nothing for you, dear father?” - -He was silent for a moment. “Yes, you can die for me; you can die with -me.” - -The loving arms were about his neck once more, and the warm, loving -lips were kissing his own. “I will do any thing for you. O father, let -us die together!” - -“Yes, my darling, it is best: we will.” - -Then very quietly and very tenderly he prepared the little fellow for -his death; he heard his last confession and gave him his last -absolution. Then they knelt together, hand in hand, before the -crucifix. - -“Pray for me, my darling.” - -Then together their prayers silently ascended that the dear Lord would -have pity on the priest who had fallen in the terrible battle of -life. There they knelt till midnight, when Ronald took the lad in his -arms and carried him to the little chapel. - -“I will say mass for the repose of our souls,” he said. - -Over his night-shirt the child arrayed himself in his little scarlet -cassock and tiny lace cotta. He covered his naked feet with the -scarlet sanctuary shoes; he lighted the tapers and reverently helped -the priest to vest. Then before they left the vestry the priest took -him in his arms and held him pressed closely to his breast; he stroked -the soft hair and whispered cheeringly to him. The child was weeping -quietly, his slender frame trembling with the sobs he could scarcely -suppress. After a moment the tender embrace soothed him, and he raised -his beautiful mouth to the priest’s. Their lips were pressed together, -and their arms wrapped one another closely. - -“Oh, my darling, my own sweet darling!” the priest whispered tenderly. - -“We shall be together for ever soon; nothing shall separate us now,” -the child said. - -“Yes, it is far better so; far better to be together in death than -apart in life.” - -They knelt before the altar in the silent night, the glimmer of the -tapers lighting up the features of the crucifix with strange -distinctness. Never had the priest’s voice trembled with such -wonderful earnestness, never had the acolyte responded with such -devotion, as at this midnight Mass for the peace of their own -departing souls. - -Just before the consecration the priest took a tiny phial from the -pocket of his cassock, blessed it, and poured the contents into the -chalice. - -When the time came for him to receive from the chalice, he raised it -to his lips, but did not taste of it. - -He administered the sacred wafer to the child, and then he took the -beautiful gold chalice, set with precious stones, in his hand; he -turned towards him; but when he saw the light in the beautiful face -he turned again to the crucifix with a low moan. For one instant his -courage failed him; then he turned to the little fellow again, and -held the chalice to his lips: - -“_The Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, which was shed for thee, -preserve thy body and soul unto everlasting life._” - -Never had the priest beheld such perfect love, such perfect trust, in -those dear eyes as shone from them now; now, as with face raised -upwards he received his death from the loving hands of him that he -loved best in the whole world. - -The instant he had received, Ronald fell on his knees beside him and -drained the chalice to the last drop. He set it down and threw his -arms round the beautiful figure of his dearly loved acolyte. Their -lips met in one last kiss of perfect love, and all was over. - - * * * * * - -When the sun was rising in the heavens it cast one broad ray upon the -altar of the little chapel. The tapers were burning still, scarcely -half-burnt through. The sad-faced figure of the crucifix hung there in -its majestic calm. On the steps of the altar was stretched the long, -ascetic frame of the young priest, robed in the sacred vestments; -close beside him, with his curly head pillowed on the gorgeous -embroideries that covered his breast, lay the beautiful boy in scarlet -and lace. Their arms were round each other; a strange hush lay like a -shroud over all. - -“_And whomever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on -whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder._” - - X. - _June, 1894._ - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Priest And The Acolyte, by John Francis Bloxam - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRIEST AND THE ACOLYTE *** - -***** This file should be named 60229-0.txt or 60229-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/2/2/60229/ - -Produced by M.K., David Wilson and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was -produced from images made available by the HathiTrust -Digital Library.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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- } - p { - margin: 0 0 0.15em 0; - text-indent: 2em; - } - .fnreturn { - display: none; - visibility: hidden; - } -} -@media screen { - body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; - } - span.pagenum { - border-top: thin solid silver; - border-bottom: thin solid silver; - display: inline; - visibility: visible; - position: absolute; - left: 1%; - } - div.titlepage { - border: thin solid silver; - padding-left: 0.5em; - padding-right: 0.5em; - } - #frontcover {width: 600px; } /* height: 800px; */ -} -/* overrides for epub */ -/* explicit overrides for styles defined in @media screen - because Kindle thinks it's a screen device */ -@media handheld { - body { - margin-left: 0; - margin-right: 0; - } - img.cap { - display: none; - visibility: hidden; - } - div.drop p:first-letter { - color: inherit; - visibility: visible; - } - p.cap { - text-indent: 0; - } - #dummyh2 { - display: block; - } - span.pagenum, hr.ww, div.frontcover { - display: none; - visibility: hidden; - } -} - - /* XML end ]]>*/ - -</style> -</head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -Project Gutenberg's The Priest And The Acolyte, by John Francis Bloxam - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Priest And The Acolyte - With an Introductory Protest by Stuart Mason - -Author: John Francis Bloxam - -Commentator: Stuart Mason - -Release Date: September 3, 2019 [EBook #60229] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRIEST AND THE ACOLYTE *** - - - - -Produced by M.K., David Wilson and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was -produced from images made available by the HathiTrust -Digital Library.) - - - - - - -</pre> - - - - -<hr class="ww" /> - -<div class="frontcover"> -<img id="frontcover" src="images/cover.jpg" - alt="[Cover: The Priest and the Acolyte — - with an Introductory Protest]" /> -<a name="cover" id="cover" href="#cover"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>cover<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -</div> - - -<div class="halftitle"> -<p class="ctr"><big>THE PRIEST AND THE ACOLYTE</big> - <a name="png.001" id="png.001" href="#png.001"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>1<span class="ns">]</span></span ></a></p> - -</div> - - -<div class="titlepage"> -<h1 title="The Priest and the Acolyte">THE<br - />PRIEST<br - />AND<br - />THE<br - />ACOLYTE - <a name="png.003" id="png.003" href="#png.003"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>3<span class="ns">]</span></span></a></h1> - -<p id="introby"><span>WITH AN<br - />INTRODUCTORY<br - />PROTEST BY<br - />STUART MASON</span></p> - - -<p><big>LONDON: AT THE LOTUS PRESS<br - />NINETEEN HUNDRED AND SEVEN</big></p> - -</div> - - -<div class="apology"> -<h2 id="dummyh2">Introductory Protest</h2> -<div class="drop"> -<img class="cap" src="images/drops.jpg" alt="S" width="117" height="125" - /><p class="cap">SO -<a name="png.005" id="png.005" href="#png.005"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>5<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -many copies -of “The Priest -and the Acolyte” -have -been sold by -unscrupulous publishers and -booksellers under the implication -that it is the work of -Oscar Wilde that it has been -thought good to issue this -edition with the object of putting -an end, once and for all, -to the possibility of purchasers -being misled as to the authorship.</p> -</div> - -<p>The story was originally published -in <cite>The Chameleon</cite>, the -<a name="png.006" id="png.006" href="#png.006"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>6<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>first and only number of which -appeared in December, 1894. -The author of the story was an -undergraduate at Oxford, “an -insufficiently birched schoolboy,” -as he has recently been -described, and he alone was -responsible for the contents of -the magazine which he edited. -At the time of the trial of Lord -Queensberry for libel a few -months later it was attempted to -show that Oscar Wilde not only -approved of the theme of the -story, but that he was actually -a party to the publication of it, -on the grounds that he sent to -the editor a number of aphorisms -under the title of “Phrases and -Philosophies for the Use of the -Young.”</p> - -<p>The simplest way of showing -<a name="png.007" id="png.007" href="#png.007"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>7<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>what Oscar Wilde really thought -of the story is to quote what he -said when examined in Court on -the subject.</p> - -<p>John Sholto Douglas, Eighth -Marquis of Queensberry, was -arrested on a warrant on March 1, 1895, on a charge of uttering -a criminal libel against Oscar -Wilde. On the following morning -he was brought up before -Mr. Newton at Marlborough -Street Police Court, and after -some formal evidence had been -taken was remanded on bail for -a week, and on the second hearing -was formally committed to -take his trial at the Central -Criminal Court a few weeks -later.</p> - -<p>The trial began at the Old -Bailey on Wednesday, April 3, -<a name="png.008" id="png.008" href="#png.008"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>8<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>before Mr. Justice Henn -Collins. Sir Edward Clarke, -Q.C., M.P., Mr. Charles Mathews -and Mr. Travers Humphreys -appeared for the prosecution; -Mr. Carson, Q.C., M.P., -Mr. C. F. Gill and Mr. A. Gill -being for the defence.</p> - -<p>The court was crowded. The -Marquis was the first to arrive. -He came in alone, and stood, hat -in hand, in front of the dock. -He spoke to no one, and no one -spoke to him. There was little -that was aristocratic in the -Marquis’s appearance. He was -of short stature, with a round -face, and clean shaven except -for a streak of red whisker. His -lower lip drooped considerably. -A few minutes before half-past -ten, Mr. Oscar Wilde entered the -<a name="png.009" id="png.009" href="#png.009"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>9<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>court and took a seat immediately -in front of his Counsel, -with whom he at once joined in -an animated conversation.</p> - -<p>The Judge was ten minutes -late, but (the Marquis having -entered the dock) the preliminary -proceedings were soon got -through, and at a quarter to -eleven, Sir Edward Clarke began -his speech for the prosecution. -Everybody listened attentively -to the story, as set forth by -Counsel, of the prosecutor’s -achievements at college, his -subsequent success as a littérateur, -and the circumstances -under which he became acquainted -with the defendant’s -family. “Phrases and Philosophies -for the Use of the Young,” -which Oscar Wilde contributed -<a name="png.010" id="png.010" href="#png.010"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>10<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>to <cite>The Chameleon</cite>, was mentioned -in the plea of the defence as -“immoral and obscene,” and -Sir Edward Clarke occupied -some time in an endeavour to -prove the contrary. With regard -to <cite>The Chameleon</cite>, Counsel -admitted that it contained a -story entitled “The Priest and -the Acolyte,” which could not -be justified, but he declared his -client could not be held responsible -for the publication as a -whole, he being but a contributor -to its pages. As a matter -of fact, Mr. Wilde urged upon -the editor that the book should -be withdrawn.</p> - -<p>Soon after Mr. Carson began -his cross-examination, it became -apparent that the line he was -adopting would result in a -<a name="png.011" id="png.011" href="#png.011"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>11<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>conflict between Counsel. Mr. Wilde was being questioned as -to his opinion on certain extracts -from “The Priest and the -Acolyte,” when Sir Edward -Clarke jumped to his feet and -appealed to the Judge whether -the questions were relevant, inasmuch -as Mr. Wilde was not -responsible for the story. The -Judge ruled in favour of Mr. Carson. Sir Edward, a few -minutes later, raised another -objection, but he was again overruled.</p> - -<p>The interval for luncheon -came as a pleasant relief to all, -and, on the application of Mr. Carson, the Judge consented to -the defendant being allowed -his freedom till the court resumed -its sitting.</p> - -<p><a name="png.012" id="png.012" href="#png.012"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>12<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -Sir Edward Clarke, in the -course of his speech for the prosecution, -said that there were two -extremely curious counts at the -end of the plea. One was that -in December, 1894, was “published -a certain immoral work -in the form of <cite>The Chameleon</cite>, -relating to practices and passions -of an unnatural kind,” and that -his client had “joined in procuring -the publication of <cite>The -Chameleon</cite>, with his name upon -it as the principal contributor.” -That was a very gross allegation. -Directly Mr. Wilde saw the magazine, -he noticed there was a -story in it called “The Priest -and the Acolyte,” which was a -disgrace to literature, which it -was amazing any body wrote, and -still more amazing that any body -<a name="png.013" id="png.013" href="#png.013"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>13<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>allowed to be published under -his name.<a name="fn1" id="fn1"></a><a title="Go to footnote 1" - href="#Footnote1" class="fnanchor"><span - class="ns">[Footnote </span>1<span class="ns">] - </span></a> Directly Mr. Wilde -saw that story he communicated -with the editor, and upon -his insistence the magazine was -withdrawn. He had no knowledge -that that story was about -to be published. It was strange -indeed, then, to find that publication -put upon the particulars -as justifying the charge against -Mr. Wilde.</p> - -<p>In his examination in chief, Sir Edward Clarke said: It is suggested -that you are responsible -for the publication of <cite>The -Chameleon</cite> on the front page of -which some aphorisms of yours -<a name="png.014" id="png.014" href="#png.014"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>14<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>appear. Beyond sending that -contribution had you any thing -to do with the preparation or -ownership, editorship or publication -of that magazine?</p> - -<p>Witness—No; nothing whatever.</p> - -<p>Until you saw this number of -<cite>The Chameleon</cite> did you know -any thing about the story, “The -Priest and the Acolyte”?</p> - -<p>Nothing at all.</p> - -<p>Upon seeing the story in -print, did you communicate -with the editor?</p> - -<p>The editor came to see me at -the Café Royal to speak to me -about it.</p> - -<p>Did you approve of the story -of “The Priest and the Acolyte”?</p> - -<p>I thought it bad and indecent, -<a name="png.015" id="png.015" href="#png.015"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>15<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>and I strongly disapproved of -it.</p> - -<p>Was that disapproval expressed -to the editor?</p> - -<p>Yes.</p> - -<p>Oscar Wilde was then cross-examined -by Mr. Carson for the -defence.</p> - -<p>You read “The Priest and the -Acolyte”?</p> - -<p>Yes.</p> - -<p>You have no doubt that that -was an improper story?</p> - -<p>From the literary point of -view it was highly improper. It -is impossible for a man of literature -to judge it otherwise, by -literature meaning treatment, -selection of subject, and the like. -I thought the treatment rotten -and the subject rotten.</p> - -<p>You are of opinion, I believe, -<a name="png.016" id="png.016" href="#png.016"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>16<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>that there is no such thing as -an immoral book?</p> - -<p>Yes.</p> - -<p>May I take it that you think -“The Priest and the Acolyte” -was not immoral?</p> - -<p>It was worse; it was badly -written.</p> - -<p>Was not the story that of a -priest who fell in love with a boy -who served him at the altar, -and the boy was discovered in -the priest’s room, and a scandal -arose?</p> - -<p>I have read it only once, in -November last, and nothing -will induce me to read it -again.</p> - -<p>Did you think the story blasphemous?</p> - -<p>I think it violated every artistic -canon of beauty.</p> - -<p><a name="png.017" id="png.017" href="#png.017"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>17<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -That is not an answer.</p> - -<p>It is the only one I can -give.</p> - -<p>I want you to see the position -you pose in.</p> - -<p>I do not think you should -say that.</p> - -<p>I have said nothing out of the -way. I wish to know whether -you thought the story blasphemous.</p> - -<p>The story filled me with disgust.</p> - -<p>Answer the question, sir. -Did you, or did you not, consider -the story blasphemous?</p> - -<p>I did not consider the story -blasphemous.</p> - -<p>I am satisfied with that. You -know that when the priest in the -story administers poison to the -boy he uses the words of the -<a name="png.018" id="png.018" href="#png.018"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>18<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>Sacrament of the Church of -England?</p> - -<p>That I entirely forgot.</p> - -<p>Do you consider that blasphemous?</p> - -<p>I think it is horrible. “Blasphemous” -is not the word.</p> - -<p>Mr. Carson then read the -words describing the administration -of the poison in the -Sacrament, and asked Mr. Wilde whether he approved -of them.</p> - -<p>The witness replied that he -thought them disgusting, perfect -twaddle.</p> - -<p>I think you will admit that -any one who would approve of -such an article would pose as -guilty of improper practices?</p> - -<p>I do not think so in the person -of another contributor to the -<a name="png.019" id="png.019" href="#png.019"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>19<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>magazine. It would show very -bad literary taste. I strongly -objected to the whole story. -I took no steps to express public -disapproval of <cite>The Chameleon</cite>, -because I think it would have -been beneath my dignity as a -man of letters to associate myself -with an Oxford undergraduate’s -productions. I am -aware that the magazine might -have been circulated among -the undergraduates of Oxford, -but I do not believe that any -book or work of art ever had -any effect whatever on morality.</p> - -<p>Am I right in saying that you -do not consider the effect in -creating morality or immorality?</p> - -<p>Certainly, I do not.</p> - -<p>So far as your own works are -<a name="png.020" id="png.020" href="#png.020"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>20<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>concerned you pose as not -being concerned about morality -or immorality?</p> - -<p>I do not know whether you -use the word “pose” in any -particular sense.</p> - -<p>It is a favourite word of your -own.</p> - -<p>Is it? I have no pose in this -matter. In writing a play or a -book I am concerned entirely -with literature, that is, with art. -I aim not at doing good or evil -but in trying to make a thing -that will have some quality of -beauty.</p> - -<p>What would any body say -would be the effect of “Phrases -and Philosophies for the Use of -the Young” taken in connection -with such an article as “The -Priest and the Acolyte”?</p> - -<p><a name="png.021" id="png.021" href="#png.021"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>21<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -Undoubtedly, it was the idea -that might be formed that made -me object so strongly to the -story. I saw at once that maxims -that were perfectly nonsensical, -paradoxical or any thing you like, -might be read in conjunction -with it.</p> - -<p>On Tuesday, April 30, which -was the fourth day of the first -trial of Oscar Wilde, Sir Edward -Clarke entered an emphatic -protest against Mr. Gill having -read over again the cross-examination -of the accused upon his -books and writings which he had -given at the trial of Lord -Queensberry. It was not fair -to judge of a man’s conduct by -his books, but the Prosecution -had gone much further than that, -and had sought to judge Wilde -<a name="png.022" id="png.022" href="#png.022"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>22<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>by books which he did not write, -and by a story which he had -repudiated as horrible and disgusting. -Public opinion had -been excited and fanned by the -quotation in Court of passages of -literature for which he was not -responsible.</p> - -<p>The subject then dropped, and -the next reference to it was -made by Mr. Justice Charles in -his summing up on the last -day of Oscar Wilde’s first trial -(May 1) when the Jury disagreed -and was unable to return -a verdict. His lordship said that -he did not propose to deal at -any length with the incidents of -the Queensberry trial, but that -it must be remembered that the -evidence of Wilde at that trial -was given on oath and must -<a name="png.023" id="png.023" href="#png.023"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>23<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>not be lost sight of in considering -that which he had given the -previous day or two in that -Court. A very large portion -of the evidence of Wilde at the -Queensberry trial was devoted -to what Sir Edward Clarke had -called “the literary part of the -case,” and it had been attempted -to show by cross-examination -that Wilde was a man of most -unprincipled character with regard -to the relation of men to -boys. In regard to a magazine -called <cite>The Chameleon</cite>, published -in the autumn of 1894, it -was alleged that Wilde had given -the sanction of his name to the -most abominable doctrines, but -the only connection proved between -that magazine and the -defendant was that it was -<a name="png.024" id="png.024" href="#png.024"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>24<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>prefaced by two or three pages of -aphorisms by the accused, of -which it was sufficient to say that -some were amusing, some cynical, -some, if his lordship might -be allowed to criticize, silly; -but wicked, no.</p> - -<p>The learned Counsel who -represented Lord Queensberry, -the Judge continued, had called -attention to a story, a filthy -narrative of a most disgusting -character, called “The Priest -and the Acolyte,” of which the -author, who signed himself “X,” -should be thoroughly ashamed. -With that story Wilde had had -nothing whatever to do, and to -impute to him any thing in it was -quite absurd. To judge him by -another man’s works which he -had never seen would be highly -unjust.</p> - -<p><a name="png.025" id="png.025" href="#png.025"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>25<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -In the second trial of Oscar -Wilde, which was heard before -Mr. Justice Willis on the following -May 22 to 25, no mention -was made of <cite>The Chameleon</cite> or -of “The Priest and the Acolyte.”</p> - -<p>What is stated above ought to -be sufficient, once and for all, to -dissociate the name of the author -of “Salomé” and “Lady Windermere’s -Fan” from the story -reprinted in the following pages.</p> - -<div class="footnotes"> -<p><small><a name="Footnote1" id="Footnote1"><span class="ns">[Footnote </span - >1<span class="ns">: </span></a> Sir Edward Clarke was in error. The story was -published anonymously, being signed “X” only, though the author’s -real name was more or less an open secret in Oxford at the time.<span class="ns">]</span> -<a title="Return to text" href="#fn1" class="fnreturn" - ><i>Return to text</i></a></small></p> -</div> - -</div> - - -<div class="story"> -<h2 title="The Priest and the Acolyte"> -THE PRIEST AND THE -ACOLYTE<a name="png.027" id="png.027" href="#png.027"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>27<span class="ns">]</span></span></a></h2> - -<p class="ctr"><cite lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Honi soit qui mal y pense</cite></p> - - -<h3 title="Part I">PART I</h3> - -<div class="drop"> -<img class="cap" src="images/dropp.jpg" alt="P" width="123" height="129" - /><p class="cap">PRAY, father, give<!-- TN: no opening quote in original --> -me thy blessing, -for I have -sinned.”</p> -</div> - -<p>The priest -started; he was tired in mind -and body; his soul was sad -and his heart heavy as he sat -in the terrible solitude of the -confessional ever listening to -the same dull round of oft-repeated -sins. He was weary -of the conventional tones -and matter-of-fact expressions. -<a name="png.028" id="png.028" href="#png.028"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>28<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>Would the world always be the -same? For nearly twenty centuries -the Christian priests had -sat in the confessional and listened -to the same old tale. The -world seemed to him no better; -always the same, the same. The -young priest sighed to himself, -and for a moment almost wished -people would be worse. Why -could they not escape from these -old wearily-made paths and be -a little original in their vices, if -sin they must? But the voice -he now listened to aroused him -from his reverie. It was so soft -and gentle, so diffident and shy.</p> - -<p>He gave the blessing, and -listened. Ah, yes! he recognized -the voice now. It was the -voice he had heard for the first -time only that very morning: -<a name="png.029" id="png.029" href="#png.029"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>29<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>the voice of the little acolyte -that had served his Mass.</p> - -<p>He turned his head and peered -through the grating at the little -bowed head beyond. There -was no mistaking those long -soft curls. Suddenly, for one -moment, the face was raised, -and the large moist blue eyes -met his; he saw the little oval -face flushed with shame at the -simple boyish sins he was confessing, -and a thrill shot through -him, for he felt that here at -least was something in the -world that was beautiful, something -that was really true. Would -the day come when those soft -scarlet lips would have grown -hard and false? when the soft -shy treble would have become -careless and conventional? His -<a name="png.030" id="png.030" href="#png.030"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>30<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>eyes filled with tears, and in a -voice that had lost its firmness -he gave the absolution.</p> - -<p>After a pause, he heard the boy -rise to his feet, and watched him -wend his way across the little -chapel and kneel before the -altar while he said his penance. -The priest hid his thin tired face -in his hands and sighed wearily. -The next morning, as he knelt -before the altar and turned to -say the words of confession to -the little acolyte whose head -was bent so reverently towards -him, he bowed low till his hair -just touched the golden halo that -surrounded the little face, and he -felt his veins burn and tingle -with a strange new fascination.</p> - -<p>When that most wonderful -thing in the whole world, -<a name="png.031" id="png.031" href="#png.031"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>31<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>complete soul-absorbing love for another, -suddenly strikes a man, -that man knows what heaven -means, and he understands hell: -but if the man be an ascetic, -a priest whose whole heart is -given to ecstatic devotion, it -were better for that man if he -had never been born.</p> - -<p>When they reached the vestry -and the boy stood before him -reverently receiving the sacred -vestments, he knew that henceforth -the entire devotion of -his religion, the whole ecstatic -fervour of his prayers, would -be connected with, nay, inspired -by, one object alone. -With the same reverence and -humility as he would have felt in -touching the consecrated elements -he laid his hands on the -<a name="png.032" id="png.032" href="#png.032"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>32<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>curl-crowned head, he touched -the small pale face, and, raising -it slightly, he bent forward and -gently touched the smooth white -brow with his lips.</p> - -<p>When the child felt the caress -of his fingers, for one moment -every thing swam before his -eyes; but when he felt the -light touch of the tall priest’s -lips, a wonderful assurance took -possession of him: he understood. -He raised his little arms, -and, clasping his slim white -fingers around the priest’s neck -kissed him on the lips. With -a sharp cry the priest fell upon -his knees, and, clasping the little -figure clad in scarlet and lace to -his heart, he covered the tender -flushing face with burning kisses. -Then suddenly there came upon -<a name="png.033" id="png.033" href="#png.033"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>33<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>them both a quick sense of fear; -they parted hastily, with hot -trembling fingers folded the -sacred vestments, and separated -in silent shyness.</p> - - -<p class="tb"><span class="ns"><br - /></span>The priest returned to his poor -rooms and tried to sit down and -think, but all in vain: he tried -to eat, but could only thrust -away his plate in disgust: he -tried to pray, but instead of the -calm figure on the cross, the -calm, cold figure with the -weary, weary face, he saw continually -before him the flushed -face of a lovely boy, the wide star-like -eyes of his new-found love.</p> - -<p>All that day the young priest -went through the round of his -various duties mechanically, but -he could not eat nor sit quiet, -<a name="png.034" id="png.034" href="#png.034"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>34<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>for when alone, strange shrill -bursts of song kept thrilling -through his brain, and he felt -that he must flee out into the -open air or go mad.</p> - -<p>At length, when night came, -and the long, hot day had left -him exhausted and worn out, he -threw himself on his knees before -his crucifix and compelled himself -to think.</p> - -<p>He called to mind his boyhood -and his early youth; there -returned to him the thought -of the terrible struggles of the -last five years. Here he knelt, -Ronald Heatherington, priest of -Holy Church, aged twenty-eight: -what he had endured during -these five years of fierce battling -with those terrible passions he -had fostered in his boyhood, -<a name="png.035" id="png.035" href="#png.035"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>35<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>was it all to be in vain? For the -last year he had really felt that -all passion was subdued, all those -terrible outbursts of passionate -love he had really believed to be -stamped out for ever. He had -worked so hard, so unceasingly, -through all these five years since -his ordination—he had given -himself up solely and entirely to -his sacred office; all the intensity -of his nature had been concentrated, -completely absorbed, -in the beautiful mysteries of his -religion. He had avoided all that -could affect him, all that might -call up any recollection of his -early life. Then he had accepted -this curacy, with sole charge of -the little chapel that stood close -beside the cottage where he was -now living, the little mission-chapel -<a name="png.036" id="png.036" href="#png.036"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>36<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>that was the most distant -of the several grouped round the -old Parish Church of St. Anselm. -He had arrived only two -or three days before, and, going -to call on the old couple who -lived in the cottage, the back -of which formed the boundary -of his own little garden, had -been offered the services of -their grandson as acolyte.</p> - -<p>“My son was an artist fellow, -sir,” the old man had said: “he -never was satisfied here, so we -sent him off to London; he -was made a lot of there, sir, -and married a lady, but the -cold weather carried him off one -winter, and his poor young wife -was left with the baby. She -brought him up and taught -him herself, sir, but last winter -<a name="png.037" id="png.037" href="#png.037"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>37<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>she was taken too, so the poor -lad came to live with us—so -delicate he is, sir, and not one -of the likes of us; he’s a -gentleman born and bred, is -Wilfred. His poor mother used -to like him to go and serve at -the church near them in London, -and the boy was so fond of -it himself that we thought, -supposing you did not mind, sir, -that it would be a treat for him -to do the same here.”</p> - -<p>“How old is the boy?” -asked the young priest.</p> - -<p>“Fourteen, sir,” replied the -grandmother.</p> - -<p>“Very well, let him come to -the chapel to-morrow morning,” -Ronald had agreed.</p> - -<p>Entirely absorbed in his devotions, -the young man had -<a name="png.038" id="png.038" href="#png.038"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>38<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>scarcely noticed the little acolyte -who was serving for him, and -it was not till he was hearing -his confession later in the day -that he had realized his wonderful -loveliness.</p> - -<p>“Ah God! help me! pity -me! After all this weary labour -and toil, just when I am beginning -to hope, is every thing to -be undone? am I to lose every -thing? Help me, help me, O -God!”</p> - -<p>Even while he prayed; even -while his hands were stretched -out in agonized supplication -towards the feet of that crucifix -before which his hardest -battles had been fought and -won; even while the tears of -bitter contrition and miserable -self-mistrust were dimming his -<a name="png.039" id="png.039" href="#png.039"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>39<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>eyes—there came a soft tap on -the glass of the window beside -him. He rose to his feet, and -wonderingly drew back the dingy -curtain. There in the moonlight, -before the open window, -stood a small white figure—there, -with his bare feet on the -moon-blanched turf, dressed -only in his long white night-shirt, -stood his little acolyte, the -boy who held his whole future -in his small childish hands.</p> - -<p>“Wilfred, what are you doing -here?” he asked in a trembling -voice.</p> - -<p>“I could not sleep, father, -for thinking of you, and I saw a -light in your room, so I got -out through the window and -came to see you. Are you angry -with me, father?” he asked, -<a name="png.040" id="png.040" href="#png.040"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>40<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>his voice faltering as he saw the -almost fierce expression in the -thin ascetic face.</p> - -<p>“Why did you come to see -me?” The priest hardly dared -recognize the situation, and -scarcely heard what the boy -said.</p> - -<p>“Because I love you, I love -you—oh, so much! but you—you -are angry with me—oh, -why did I ever come! why did -I ever come!—I never thought -you would be angry!” and -the little fellow sank on the -grass and burst into tears.</p> - -<p>The priest sprang through the -open window, and seizing the -slim little figure in his arms, he -carried him into the room. He -drew the curtain, and, sinking -into the deep arm-chair, laid the -<a name="png.041" id="png.041" href="#png.041"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>41<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>little fair head upon his breast, -kissing his curls again and again.</p> - -<p>“O my darling! my own -beautiful darling!” he whispered, -“how could I ever be -angry with you? You are more -to me than all the world. Ah, -God! how I love you, my darling! -my own sweet darling!”</p> - -<p>For nearly an hour the boy -nestled there in his arms, pressing -his soft cheek against his; then -the priest told him he must go. -For one long last kiss their lips -met, and then the small white-clad -figure slipped through the -window, sped across the little -moonlit garden, and vanished -through the opposite window.</p> - -<p>When they met in the vestry -next morning, the lad raised -his beautiful flower-like face, and -<a name="png.042" id="png.042" href="#png.042"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>42<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>the priest, gently putting his -arms round him, kissed him -tenderly on the lips.</p> - -<p>“My darling! my darling!” -was all he said; but the lad -returned his kiss with a smile of -wonderful almost heavenly love, -in a silence that seemed to whisper -something more than words.</p> - -<p>“I wonder what was the -matter with the father this -morning?” said one old woman -to another, as they were returning -from the chapel; “he didn’t -seem himself at all; he made -more mistakes this morning than -Father Thomas made in all the -year he was here.”</p> - -<p>“Seemed as if he had never -said a Mass before!” replied -her friend, with something of -contempt.</p> - -<p><a name="png.043" id="png.043" href="#png.043"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>43<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -And that night, and for -many nights after, the priest, -with the pale tired-looking face, -drew the curtain over his crucifix -and waited at the window for -the glimmer of the pale summer -moonlight on a crown of golden -curls, for the sight of slim boyish -limbs clad in the long white -night-shirt, that only emphasized -the grace of every movement, -and the beautiful pallor -of the little feet speeding -across the grass. There at the -window, night after night, he -waited to feel tender loving -arms thrown round his neck, -and to feel the intoxicating -delight of beautiful boyish lips -raining kisses on his own.</p> - -<p>Ronald Heatherington made -no mistakes in the Mass now. -<a name="png.044" id="png.044" href="#png.044"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>44<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>He said the solemn words with -a reverence and devotion that -made the few poor people who -happened to be there speak of -him afterwards almost with awe; -while the face of the little -acolyte at his side shone with a -fervour which made them ask -each other what this strange -light could mean. Surely the -young priest must be a saint -indeed, while the boy beside -him looked more like an angel -from heaven than any child of -human birth.</p> - - - - -<h3 title="Part II" id="partii">PART II -<a name="png.045" id="png.045" href="#png.045"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>45<span class="ns">]</span></span></a></h3> - - -<div class="drop"> -<img class="cap" src="images/dropt.jpg" alt="T" width="122" height="126" - /><p class="cap">THE world is -very stern with -those that -thwart her. -She lays down -her precepts, and woe to those -who dare to think for themselves, -who venture to exercise -their own discretion as to -whether they shall allow their -individuality and natural characteristics -to be stamped out, to -be obliterated under the leaden -fingers of convention.</p> -</div> - -<p>Truly, convention is the stone -that has become head of the -corner in the jerry-built temple -of our superficial, self-assertive -civilization.</p> - -<p><a name="png.046" id="png.046" href="#png.046"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>46<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -“<cite>And whosoever shall fall on -this stone shall be broken: but -on whomsoever it shall fall, it -will grind him to powder.</cite>”</p> - -<p>If the world sees any thing she -cannot understand, she assigns -the basest motives to all concerned, -supposing the presence -of some secret shame, the idea -of which, at least, her narrow-minded -intelligence is able to -grasp.</p> - -<p>The people no longer regarded -their priest as a saint, and his -acolyte as an angel. They still -spoke of them with bated breath -and with their fingers on their -lips; they still drew back out of -the way when they met either -of them; but now they gathered -together in groups of twos and -threes and shook their heads.</p> - -<p><a name="png.047" id="png.047" href="#png.047"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>47<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -The priest and his acolyte -heeded not; they never even -noticed the suspicious glances -and half-suppressed murmurs. -Each had found in the other -perfect sympathy and perfect -love: what could the outside -world matter to them now? -Each was to the other the perfect -fulfilment of a scarcely preconceived -ideal; neither heaven -nor hell could offer more. But -the stone of convention had -been undermined; the time -could not be far distant when -it must fall.</p> - - -<p class="tb"><span class="ns"><br - /></span>The moonlight was very clear -and very beautiful; the cool night -air was heavy with the perfume -of the old-fashioned flowers that -bloomed so profusely in the -<a name="png.048" id="png.048" href="#png.048"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>48<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>little garden. But in the priest’s -little room the closely drawn -curtains shut out all the beauty -of the night. Entirely forgetful -of all the world, absolutely -oblivious of every thing but one -another, wrapped in the beautiful -visions of a love that far -outshone all the splendour of -the summer night, the priest -and the little acolyte were together.</p> - -<p>The little lad sat on his -knees with his arms closely -pressed round his neck and his -golden curls laid against the -priest’s close-cut hair; his white -night-shirt contrasting strangely -and beautifully with the dull -black of the other’s long cassock.</p> - -<p>There was a step on the road -outside—a step drawing nearer -<a name="png.049" id="png.049" href="#png.049"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>49<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>and nearer; a knock at the -door. They heard it not; completely -absorbed in each other, -intoxicated with the sweetly -poisonous draught that is the -gift of love, they sat in silence. -But the end had come: the -blow had fallen at last. The -door opened, and there before -them in the doorway stood the -tall figure of the rector.</p> - -<p>Neither said any thing; only -the little boy clung closer to his -beloved, and his eyes grew large -with fear. Then the young priest -rose slowly to his feet and put -the lad from him.</p> - -<p>“You had better go, Wilfred,” -was all he said.</p> - -<p>The two priests stood in -silence watching the child as -he slipped through the -<a name="png.050" id="png.050" href="#png.050"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>50<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>window, stole across the grass, and -vanished into the opposite -cottage.</p> - -<p>Then the two turned and -faced each other.</p> - -<p>The young priest sank into -his chair and clasped his hands, -waiting for the other to speak.</p> - -<p>“So it has come to this!” he -said: “the people were only -too right in what they told me! -Ah, God! that such a thing -should have happened here! -that it has fallen on me to -expose your shame—our shame! -that it is I who must give you -up to justice, and see that you -suffer the full penalty of your -sin! Have you nothing to say?”</p> - -<p>“Nothing—nothing,” he replied -softly. “I cannot ask -for pity: I cannot explain: -<a name="png.051" id="png.051" href="#png.051"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>51<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>you would never understand. -I do not ask you any thing for -myself, I do not ask you to -spare me; but think of the -terrible scandal to our dear -Church.”</p> - -<p>“It is better to expose these -terrible scandals and see that -they are cured. It is folly to -conceal a sore: better show all -our shame than let it fester.”</p> - -<p>“Think of the child.”</p> - -<p>“That was for you to do: -you should have thought of -him before. What has his shame -to do with me? it was your -business. Besides, I would not -spare him if I could: what pity -can I feel for such as <span class="nw">he——?”</span></p> - -<p>But the young man had risen, -pale to the lips.</p> - -<p>“Hush!” he said in a low -<a name="png.052" id="png.052" href="#png.052"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>52<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>voice; “I forbid you to speak of -him before me with any thing -but respect”; then softly to -himself, “with any thing but -reverence; with any thing but -devotion.”</p> - -<p>The other was silent, awed -for the moment. Then his -anger rose.</p> - -<p>“Dare you speak openly like -that? Where is your penitence, -your shame? have you no -sense of the horror of your sin?”</p> - -<p>“There is no sin for which -I should feel shame,” he answered -very quietly. “God -gave me my love for him, and -He gave him also his love for -me. Who is there that shall -withstand God and the love -that is His gift?”</p> - -<p>“Dare you profane the name -<a name="png.053" id="png.053" href="#png.053"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>53<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>by calling such a passion as this -‘love’?”</p> - -<p>“It was love, perfect love: it -<em>is</em> perfect love.”</p> - -<p>“I can say no more now; -to-morrow all shall be known. -Thank God, you shall pay dearly -for all this disgrace,” he added, -in a sudden outburst of wrath.</p> - -<p>“I am sorry you have no -mercy;—not that I fear exposure -and punishment for myself. But -mercy can seldom be found from -a Christian,” he added, as one -that speaks from without.</p> - -<p>The rector turned towards -him suddenly, and stretched -out his hands.</p> - -<p>“Heaven forgive me my hardness -of heart,” he said. “I -have been cruel; I have spoken -cruelly in my distress. Ah, -<a name="png.054" id="png.054" href="#png.054"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>54<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>can you say nothing to defend -your crime?”</p> - -<p>“No: I do not think I can do -any good by that. If I attempted -to deny all guilt, you -would only think I lied: though -I should prove my innocence, -yet my reputation, my career, -my whole future, are ruined for -ever. But will you listen to me -for a little? I will tell you a -little about myself.”</p> - -<p>The rector sat down while -his curate told him the story -of his life, sitting by the empty -grate with his chin resting on -his clasped hands.</p> - -<p>“I was at a big public school, -as you know. I was always -different from other boys. I -never cared much for games. -I took little interest in those -<a name="png.055" id="png.055" href="#png.055"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>55<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>things for which boys usually -care so much. I was not very -happy in my boyhood, I think. -My one ambition was to find -the ideal for which I longed. -It has always been thus: I -have always had an indefinite -longing for something, a vague -something that never quite took -shape, that I could never quite -understand. My great desire -has always been to find something -that would satisfy me. -I was attracted at once by sin: -my whole early life is stained -and polluted with the taint -of sin. Sometimes even now -I think that there are sins more -beautiful than any thing else in -the world. There are vices that -are bound to attract almost -irresistibly any one who loves -<a name="png.056" id="png.056" href="#png.056"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>56<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>beauty above every thing. I -have always sought for love: -again and again I have been -the victim of fits of passionate -affection: time after time I -have seemed to have found my -ideal at last: the whole object -of my life has been, times -without number, to gain the -love of some particular person. -Several times my efforts were -successful; each time I woke to -find that the success I had -obtained was worthless after -all. As I grasped the prize, it -lost all its attraction—I no -longer cared for what I had once -desired with my whole heart. -In vain I endeavoured to drown -the yearnings of my heart with -the ordinary pleasures and vices -that usually attract the young. -<a name="png.057" id="png.057" href="#png.057"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>57<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>I had to choose a profession. I -became a priest. The whole -æsthetic tendency of my soul -was intensely attracted by the -wonderful mysteries of Christianity, -the artistic beauty of -our services. Ever since my -ordination I have been striving -to cheat myself into the belief -that peace had come at last—at -last my yearning was satisfied: -but all in vain. Unceasingly -I have struggled with the -old cravings for excitement, -and, above all, the weary, incessant -thirst for a perfect love. -I have found, and still find, an -exquisite delight in religion: -not in the regular duties of a -religious life, not in the ordinary -round of parish organizations;—against -these I chafe incessantly;—no, -<a name="png.058" id="png.058" href="#png.058"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>58<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>my delight is in the æsthetic -beauty of the services, the -ecstasy of devotion, the passionate -fervour that comes with long -fasting and meditation.”</p> - -<p>“Have you found no comfort -in prayer?” asked the rector.</p> - -<p>“Comfort?—no. But I have -found in prayer pleasure, excitement, -almost a fierce delight -of sin.”</p> - -<p>“You should have married. -I think that would have saved -you.”</p> - -<p>Ronald Heatherington rose to -his feet and laid his hand on the -rector’s arm.</p> - -<p>“You do not understand me. -I have never been attracted by -a woman in my life. Can you -not see that people are different, -totally different, from one -<a name="png.059" id="png.059" href="#png.059"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>59<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>another? To think that we are -all the same is impossible; our -natures, our temperaments, are -utterly unlike. But this is what -people will never see; they -found all their opinions on a -wrong basis. How can their -deductions be just if their premisses -are wrong? One law laid -down by the majority, who -happen to be of one disposition, -is only binding on -the minority <em>legally</em>, not <em>morally</em>. -What right have you, or -any one, to tell me that such -and such a thing is sinful for -me? Oh, why can I not explain -to you and force you to see?” -and his grasp tightened on the -other’s arm. Then he continued, -speaking fast and <span class="nw">earnestly:—</span></p> - -<p><a name="png.060" id="png.060" href="#png.060"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>60<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -“For me, with my nature, to -have married would have been -sinful: it would have been a -crime, a gross immorality, and -my conscience would have revolted.” -Then he added, bitterly: -“Conscience should be -that divine instinct which bids -us seek after that our natural -disposition needs—we have forgotten -that; to most of us, to -the world, nay, even to Christians -in general, conscience is -merely another name for the -cowardice that dreads to offend -against convention. Ah, what -a cursed thing convention is! -I have committed no moral -offence in this matter; in the -sight of God my soul is blameless; -but to you and to the -world I am guilty of an -<a name="png.061" id="png.061" href="#png.061"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>61<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>abominable crime—abominable, because -it is a sin against convention, -forsooth! I met this boy: -I loved him as I had never -loved any one or any thing before: -I had no need to labour to -win his affection—he was mine -by right: he loved me, even as -I loved him, from the first: he -was the necessary complement to -my soul. How dare the world -presume to judge us? What -is convention to us? Nevertheless, -although I really knew -that such a love was beautiful -and blameless, although from -the bottom of my heart I -despised the narrow judgment -of the world, yet for his sake and -for the sake of our Church, I -tried at first to resist. I struggled -against the fascination he -<a name="png.062" id="png.062" href="#png.062"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>62<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>possessed for me. I would never -have gone to him and asked his -love; I would have struggled -on till the end: but what could -I do? It was he that came to -me, and offered me the wealth of -love his beautiful soul possessed. -How could I tell to such a -nature as his the hideous picture -the world would paint? -Even as you saw him this -evening, he has come to me night -by night,—how dare I disturb -the sweet purity of his soul by -hinting at the horrible suspicions -his presence might arouse? I -knew what I was doing. I -have faced the world and set -myself up against it. I have -openly scoffed at its dictates. -I do not ask you to sympathize -with me, nor do I pray you to -<a name="png.063" id="png.063" href="#png.063"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>63<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>stay your hand. Your eyes are -blinded with a mental cataract. -You are bound, bound with -those miserable ties that have -held you body and soul from -the cradle. You must do what -you believe to be your duty. -In God’s eyes we are martyrs, -and we shall not shrink even -from death in this struggle -against the idolatrous worship -of convention.”</p> - -<p>Ronald Heatherington sank -into a chair, hiding his face in -his hands, and the rector left -the room in silence.</p> - -<p>For some minutes the young -priest sat with his face buried -in his hands. Then with a -sigh he rose and crept across -the garden till he stood beneath -the open window of his darling.</p> - -<p><a name="png.064" id="png.064" href="#png.064"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>64<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -“Wilfred,” he called very -softly.</p> - -<p>The beautiful face, pale and -wet with tears, appeared at -the window.</p> - -<p>“I want you, my darling; -Will you come?” he whispered.</p> - -<p>“Yes, father,” the boy softly -answered.</p> - -<p>The priest led him back to -his room; then, taking him -very gently in his arms, he tried -to warm the cold little feet with -his hands.</p> - -<p>“My darling, it is all over.” -And he told him as gently as -he could all that lay before -them.</p> - -<p>The boy hid his face on his -shoulder, crying softly.</p> - -<p>“Can I do nothing for you, -dear father?”</p> - -<p><a name="png.065" id="png.065" href="#png.065"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>65<span class="ns">]</span></span></a> -He was silent for a moment. -“Yes, you can die for me; you -can die with me.”</p> - -<p>The loving arms were about -his neck once more, and the -warm, loving lips were kissing -his own. “I will do any thing -for you. O father, let us die -together!”</p> - -<p>“Yes, my darling, it is best: -we will.”</p> - -<p>Then very quietly and very -tenderly he prepared the little -fellow for his death; he heard -his last confession and gave him -his last absolution. Then they -knelt together, hand in hand, -before the crucifix.</p> - -<p>“Pray for me, my darling.”</p> - -<p>Then together their prayers -silently ascended that the dear -Lord would have pity on the -<a name="png.066" id="png.066" href="#png.066"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>66<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>priest who had fallen in the -terrible battle of life. There -they knelt till midnight, when -Ronald took the lad in his arms -and carried him to the little -chapel.</p> - -<p>“I will say mass for the -repose of our souls,” he said.</p> - -<p>Over his night-shirt the child -arrayed himself in his little -scarlet cassock and tiny lace -cotta. He covered his naked -feet with the scarlet sanctuary -shoes; he lighted the tapers and -reverently helped the priest to -vest. Then before they left -the vestry the priest took him -in his arms and held him pressed -closely to his breast; he stroked -the soft hair and whispered -cheeringly to him. The child -was weeping quietly, his -<a name="png.067" id="png.067" href="#png.067"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>67<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>slender frame trembling with the -sobs he could scarcely suppress. -After a moment the tender -embrace soothed him, and he -raised his beautiful mouth to -the priest’s. Their lips were -pressed together, and their arms -wrapped one another closely.</p> - -<p>“Oh, my darling, my own -sweet darling!” the priest whispered -tenderly.</p> - -<p>“We shall be together for -ever soon; nothing shall separate -us now,” the child said.</p> - -<p>“Yes, it is far better so; far -better to be together in death -than apart in life.”</p> - -<p>They knelt before the altar in -the silent night, the glimmer -of the tapers lighting up the -features of the crucifix with -strange distinctness. Never -<a name="png.068" id="png.068" href="#png.068"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>68<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>had the priest’s voice trembled -with such wonderful earnestness, -never had the acolyte responded -with such devotion, as at this -midnight Mass for the peace -of their own departing souls.</p> - -<p>Just before the consecration -the priest took a tiny phial from -the pocket of his cassock, blessed -it, and poured the contents -into the chalice.</p> - -<p>When the time came for -him to receive from the chalice, -he raised it to his lips, but -did not taste of it.</p> - -<p>He administered the sacred -wafer to the child, and then -he took the beautiful gold chalice, -set with precious stones, -in his hand; he turned towards -him; but when he saw -the light in the beautiful face -<a name="png.069" id="png.069" href="#png.069"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>69<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>he turned again to the crucifix -with a low moan. For one -instant his courage failed him; -then he turned to the little -fellow again, and held the chalice -to his lips:</p> - -<p>“<cite>The Blood of our Lord Jesus -Christ, which was shed for thee, -preserve thy body and soul unto -everlasting life.</cite>”</p> - -<p>Never had the priest beheld -such perfect love, such perfect -trust, in those dear eyes as shone -from them now; now, as with -face raised upwards he received -his death from the loving hands -of him that he loved best in -the whole world.</p> - -<p>The instant he had received, -Ronald fell on his knees beside -him and drained the chalice to -the last drop. He set it down -<a name="png.070" id="png.070" href="#png.070"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>70<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>and threw his arms round the -beautiful figure of his dearly -loved acolyte. Their lips met -in one last kiss of perfect love, -and all was over.</p> - - -<div class="keeptogether"> -<p class="tb"><span class="ns"><br - /></span>When the sun was rising in -the heavens it cast one broad -ray upon the altar of the little -chapel. The tapers were burning -still, scarcely half-burnt -through. The sad-faced figure -of the crucifix hung there in its -majestic calm. On the steps -of the altar was stretched the -long, ascetic frame of the young -priest, robed in the sacred -vestments; close beside him, -with his curly head pillowed on -the gorgeous embroideries that -covered his breast, lay the beautiful -boy in scarlet and lace. -<a name="png.071" id="png.071" href="#png.071"><span class="pagenum"><span - class="ns">[</span>71<span class="ns">] - </span></span></a>Their arms were round each -other; a strange hush lay like a -shroud over all.</p> - -<p>“<cite>And whomever shall fall on -this stone shall be broken: but -on whomsoever it shall fall, it will -grind him to powder.</cite>”</p> - -<p class="sig">X.</p> - -<p class="sigdate"><i>June, 1894.</i></p> -</div> - -</div> - - -<hr class="ww" /> - - - - - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Priest And The Acolyte, by John Francis Bloxam - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRIEST AND THE ACOLYTE *** - -***** This file should be named 60229-h.htm or 60229-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/2/2/60229/ - -Produced by M.K., David Wilson and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was -produced from images made available by the HathiTrust -Digital Library.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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